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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13148-0.txt b/13148-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6cdcbdf --- /dev/null +++ b/13148-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,22206 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13148 *** + +[Transcriber's note: The spelling inconsistencies of the original have +been retained in this etext. In some cases, they have been denoted by +[sic].] + +PETER SIMPLE + +AND + +THE THREE CUTTERS + +BY +CAPTAIN MARRYAT + +VOL I + +LONDON + +J.M. DENT AND CO +BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN AND CO. +MDCCCXCV + + + + +Contents + +VOLUME I + + +LIST OF MARRYAT'S WORKS, ETC ix +BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION xi +PREFATORY NOTE TO PETER SIMPLE AND THE THREE CUTTERS xxxiv + +_PETER SIMPLE_ + +CHAPTER I 1 + +CHAPTER II 7 + +CHAPTER III 12 + +CHAPTER IV 18 + +CHAPTER V 24 + +CHAPTER VI 30 + +CHAPTER VII 37 + +CHAPTER VIII 43 + +CHAPTER IX 52 + +CHAPTER X 60 + +CHAPTER XI 67 + +CHAPTER XII 74 + +CHAPTER XIII 87 + +CHAPTER XIV 98 + +CHAPTER XV 111 + +CHAPTER XVI 124 + +CHAPTER XVII 139 + +CHAPTER XVIII 148 + +CHAPTER XIX 157 + +CHAPTER XX 164 + +CHAPTER XXI 172 + +CHAPTER XXII 181 + +CHAPTER XXIII 191 + +CHAPTER XXIV 197 + +CHAPTER XXV 203 + +CHAPTER XXVI 212 + +CHAPTER XXVII 219 + +CHAPTER XXVIII 228 + +CHAPTER XXIX 239 + +CHAPTER XXX 247 + + + + + + +LIST OF MARRYAT'S WORKS. + +IN THE ORDER OF PUBLICATION. + +By FREDERICK MARRYAT. _Born_, July 1792. _Died_, Aug. 1848. + +*SUGGESTIONS FOR THE ABOLITION OF THE PRESENT SYSTEM + OF IMPRESSMENT IN THE NAVAL SERVICE 1822 + +ADVENTURES OF A NAVAL OFFICER, OR FRANK MILDMAY 1829 + +THE KING'S OWN 1830 + +NEWTON FORSTER 1832 + +PETER SIMPLE 1834 + +JACOB FAITHFUL 1834 + +PACHA OF MANY TALES 1835 + +MR MIDSHIPMAN EASY 1836 + +JAPHET IN SEARCH OF A FATHER 1836 + +THE PIRATE AND THE THREE CUTTERS 1836 + +*A CODE OF SIGNALS FOR THE USE OF VESSELS EMPLOYED + IN THE MERCHANT SERVICE 1837 + +SNARLEY-YOW, OR THE DOG FIEND 1837 + +THE PHANTOM SHIP 1839 + +*DIARY IN AMERICA 1839 + +OLLA PODRIDA 1840 + +POOR JACK 1840 + +MASTERMAN READY 1841 + +JOSEPH RUSHBROOK, OR THE POACHER 1841 + +PERCIVAL KEENE 1842 + +NARRATIVE OF THE TRAVELS AND ADVENTURES OF MONSIEUR + VIOLET 1843 + +SETTLERS IN CANADA 1844 + +THE MISSION, OR SCENES IN AFRICA 1845 + +THE PRIVATEER'S MAN 1846 + +THE CHILDREN OF THE NEW FOREST 1847 + +THE LITTLE SAVAGE 1848-49 + +VALERIE 1849 + + + +This edition will include all the novels and tales, only omitting the +three items marked in the above list with an asterisk. The text will be, +for the most part, that of the first editions, except for the correction +of a few obvious errors and some modernisation of spelling. _Rattlin the +Reefer,_ so frequently attributed to Marryat, will not be reprinted +here. It was written by Edward Howard, subeditor, under Marryat, of the +_The Metropolitan Magazine,_ and author of _Outward Bound,_ etc. On the +title-page it is described simply as _edited_ by Marryat and, according +to his daughter, the Captain did no more than stand literary sponsor to +the production. In 1850, Saunders and Otley published:--_The Floral +Telegraph, or, Affections Signals_ by the late Captain Marryat, R.N., +but Mrs Lean knows nothing of the book, and it is probably not Marryat's +work. + +_The Life and Letters of Captain Marryat: by Florence Marryat (Mrs +Lean), in 2 vols.: Richard Bentley_ 1872, are the only biographical +record of the novelist extant. In some matters they are very detailed +and personal, in others reticent. The story has been spiritedly retold, +with reflections and criticisms, by Mr David Hannay in the "Great +Writers" Series, 1889. + +The frontispiece is from a print, published by Henry Colburn in 1836, +after the portrait by Simpson, the favourite pupil of Sir Thomas +Lawrence, which was "considered more like him than any other." Count +D'Orsay took a portrait of Marryat, in coloured crayons, about 1840, but +it was not a success. A portrait, in water colours, by Behnes, was +engraved as a frontispiece to _The Pirate and The Three Cutters._ His +bust was taken by Carew. + +R.B.J. + + + + +Frederick Marryat + + +Without yielding implicit credence to the handsome pedigree of the +Marryats supplied by Mrs Lean, the novelist's daughter, we may give a +glance in passing to the first-fruits of this family tree. They-- +naturally--came over with the Conqueror, and emerged from obscurity +under Stephen as the proud "possessors of much lands at the village of +Meryat, Ashton Meryat, and elsewhere in Somersetshire ... One Nicotas de +Maryet is deputed to collect the ransom of Richard Coeur de Leon through +the county of Somerset ... In the reign of Edward I., Sir John de +Maryet is called to attend the Great Parliament; in that of Edward II., +his son is excommunicated for embowelling his deceased wife; 'a fancy,' +says the county historian, 'peculiar to the knightly family of Meryat.'" +Mrs Lean quotes records of other Meryat "hearts" to which an honourable +burial has been accorded. The house of Meryat finally lost its property +on the fall of Lady Jane Grey, to whom it had descended through the +female line. + +Captain Marryat belonged to the Suffolk branch of the family, of whom +"one John de Maryat had the honour of dancing in a masque before the +Virgin Queen at Trinity College, Cambridge ... was sent to aid the +Huguenots in their wars in France ... escaped the massacre of St +Bartholemew and, in 1610, returned to England." Here he married "Mary, +the daughter and heiress of Daniel Luke, of the Covent Garden (a rank +Puritan family in _Hudibras_), and again settled in his paternal county +of Suffolk." Less partial biographers neglect to trace the Marryats +beyond this Huguenot officer, who is described by them as a refugee. + +Whatever may be the truth of these matters, it is certain that during +the 17th and 18th centuries the Maryats were a respectable, middle-class +Puritan family--ministers, doctors, and business men. In the days of the +merry monarch a John Marryat became distinguished as a "painful +preacher," and was twice expelled from his livings for non-conformity. +Captain Marryat's grandfather was a good doctor, and his father, Joseph +Marryat of Wimbledon House, was an M.P., chairman for the committee of +Lloyd's, and colonial agent for the island of Grenada--a substantial +man, who refused a baronetcy, and was honoured by an elegy from +Campbell. He married Charlotte Geyer, or Von Geyer, a Hessian of good +descent. + +Frederick, born July 10, 1792, was one of fifteen sons and daughters, +"of whom ten attained maturity, and several have entered the lists of +literature." His eldest brother, Joseph, was a famous collector of +china, and author of _Pottery and Porcelain_; the youngest, Horace, +wrote _One Year in Sweden, Jutland and the Danish Isles_; and his +sister, Mrs Bury Palliser, was the author of _Nature and Art_ (not to be +confounded with Mrs Inchbald's novel of that name), _The History of +Lace_, and _Historic Devices, Badges and War Cries_. His father and +grandfather published political and medical works, respectively, while +the generation below was equally prolific. Marryat's youngest son, +Frank, described his travels in _Borneo and the Eastern Archipelago_ and +_Mountains and Molehills_, or _Recollections of a Burnt Journal_; and +his daughter Florence, Mrs Lean, the author of his _Life and Letters_, +has written a great many popular novels. + +We can record little of Marryat's boyhood beyond a general impression of +his discontent with school-masters and parents. Mr Hannay is probably +right in regarding his hard pictures of home and school life as +reflections of his own experience. + +It is said that on one occasion he was found to be engaged in the +pursuit of knowledge while standing on his head; and that he accounted +for the circumstance with a humorous philosophy almost worthy of Jack +Easy--"Well! I've been trying for three hours to learn it on my feet, +but I couldn't, so I thought I would try whether it would be easier to +learn it on my head." Another anecdote, of a contest with his +school-fellow Babbage, is interesting and characteristic. It appears +that the inventor of the calculating machine, unlike Marryat, was a very +diligent lad; and that he accordingly arranged, with some kindred +spirits, to begin work at three in the morning. The restless Marryat +wished to join the party, but his motives were suspected and the +conspirators adopted the simple expedient of not waking him. Marryat +rolled his bed across the door, and Babbage pushed it away. Marryat tied +a string from his wrist to the door handle, and Babbage unfastened it. A +thicker string was cut, a chain was unlinked by pliers, but at last the +future captain forged a chain that was too stout for the future +mathematician. Babbage, however, secured his revenge; as soon as his +comrade was safely asleep he slipped a piece of pack thread through the +chain and, carrying the other end to his own bed, was enabled by a few +rapid jerks to waken Marryat whenever he chose. Apparently satisfied +with his victory in the gentle art of tormenting, Babbage yielded +voluntarily upon the original point of dispute. Marryat and others +joined the reading party, transformed it to a scene of carnival, and +were discovered by the authorities. + +Meanwhile Marryat was constantly running away--to sea; according to his +own account because he was obliged to wear his elder brother's old +clothes. On one occasion his father injudiciously sent him back in a +carriage with some money in his pocket. The wise youth slipped out, and +finding his way home by some quiet approach, carried off his younger +brothers to the theatre. He finally ran away from a private tutor, and +Mr Marryat recognised the wisdom of compliance. Being then fourteen, +that is of age to hold a commission, Frederick was allowed to enter the +navy, and on the 23rd of September 1806, he started on his first voyage +on board H.M.S. _Impérieuse_, Captain Lord Cochrane, for the +Mediterranean. + +He could scarcely have entered upon his career under better auspices. In +a line-of-battle ship he would have had no chance of service at this +stage of the war, when the most daring of the French could not be +decoyed out of port; but the frigates had always more exciting work on +hand than mere patrolling. There were cruisers to be captured, +privateers to be cut off, convoys to be taken, and work to be done on +the coast among the forts. And Lord Cochrane, Earl of Dundonald, was not +the man to neglect his opportunities. His daring gallantry and cool +judgment are accredited to most of Marryat's captains, particularly in +_Frank Mildmay_, where the cruise of the _Impérieuse_ along the Spanish +coast is most graphically and literally described. Cochrane's +_Autobiography_ betrays the strong, stern individuality of the man, +invaluable in action, somewhat disturbing in civil life. As a reformer +in season and out of season, at the Admiralty or in the House of +Commons, his zeal became a bye-word, but Marryat knew him only on board +his frigate, as an inspiring leader of men. He never passed an +opportunity of serving his country and winning renown, but his daring +was not reckless. + +"I must here remark," says Marryat in his private log, "that I never +knew any one so careful of the lives of his ship's company as Lord +Cochrane, or any one who calculated so closely the risks attending any +expedition. Many of the most brilliant achievements were performed +without loss of a single life, so well did he calculate the chances; and +one half the merit which he deserves for what he did accomplish has +never been awarded him, merely because, in the official despatches, +there has not been a long list of killed and wounded to please the +appetite of the English public." + +Marryat has left us a graphic account of his first day at sea:-- + + "The _Impérieuse_ sailed; the Admiral of the port was one who _would_ + be obeyed, but _would not_ listen always to reason or common sense. + The signal for sailing was enforced by gun after gun; the anchor was + hove up, and, with all her stores on deck, her guns not even mounted, + in a state of confusion unparalleled from her being obliged to hoist + in faster than it was possible she could stow away, she was driven out + of harbour to encounter a heavy gale. A few hours more would have + enabled her to proceed to sea with security, but they were denied; the + consequences were appalling, they might have been fatal. In the + general confusion some iron too near the binnacles had attracted the + needle of the compasses; the ship was steered out of her course. At + midnight, in a heavy gale at the close of November, so dark that you + could not distinguish any object, however close, the _Impérieuse_ + dashed upon the rocks between Ushant and the Main. The cry of terror + which ran through the lower decks; the grating of the keel as she was + forced in; the violence of the shocks which convulsed the frame of the + vessel; the hurrying up of the ship's company without their clothes; + and then the enormous wave which again bore her up, and carried her + clean over the reef, will never be effaced from my memory." + +This, after all, was not an inappropriate introduction to the stormy +three years which followed it. The story is written in the novels, +particularly _Frank Mildmay[1]_ where every item of his varied and +exciting experience is reproduced with dramatic effect. It would be +impossible to rival Marryat's narrative of episodes, and we shall gain +no sense of reality by adjusting the materials of fiction to an exact +accordance with fact. He says that these books, except _Frank Mildmay,_ +are "wholly fictitious in characters, in plot, and in events," but they +are none the less truthful pictures of his life at sea. Cochrane's +_Autobiography_ contains a history of the _Impérieuse_; it is from +_Peter Simple_ and his companions that we must learn what Marryat +thought and suffered while on board. + +Under Cochrane he cruised along the coast of France from Ushant to the +mouth of the Gironde, saw some active service in the Mediterranean, and, +after a return to the ocean, was finally engaged in the Basque Roads. A +page of his private log contains a lively _resumé_ of the whole +experience:-- + + "The cruises of the _Impérieuse_ were periods of continual excitement, + from the hour in which she hove up her anchor till she dropped it + again in port; the day that passed without a shot being fired in + anger, was to us a blank day: the boats were hardly secured on the + booms than they were cast loose and out again; the yard and stay + tackles were forever hoisting up and lowering down. The expedition + with which parties were formed for service; the rapidity of the + frigate's movements night and day; the hasty sleep snatched at all + hours; the waking up at the report of the guns, which seemed the only + keynote to the hearts of those on board, the beautiful precision of + our fire, obtained by constant practice; the coolness and courage of + our captain, inoculating the whole of the ship's company; the + suddenness of our attacks, the gathering after the combat, the killed + lamented, the wounded almost envied; the powder so burnt into our face + that years could not remove it; the proved character of every man and + officer on board, the implicit trust and adoration we felt for our + commander; the ludicrous situations which would occur in the extremest + danger and create mirth when death was staring you in the face, the + hair-breadth escapes, and the indifference to life shown by all--when + memory sweeps along these years of excitement even now, my pulse beats + more quickly with the reminiscence." + +After some comparatively colourless service in other frigates, during +which he gained the personal familiarity with West Indian life of which +his novels show many traces, he completed his time as a midshipman, and +in 1812, returned home to pass. As a lieutenant his cruises were +uneventful and, after being several times invalided, he was promoted +Commander in 1815, just as the Great War was closing. He was now only +twenty-three, and had certainly received an admirable training for the +work with which he was soon to enchant the public. Though never present +at a great battle, and many good officers were in the same position, he +had seen much smart service and knew from others what lay beyond his own +experience. He evidently took copious notes of all he saw and heard. He +had sailed in the North Sea, in the Channel, in the Mediterranean, and +along the Eastern coast of America from Nova Scotia to Surinam. He had +been rapidly promoted. + +It is tolerably obvious that, both as midshipman and lieutenant, he +evinced the cool daring and manly independence that characterises his +heroes, with a dash perhaps of Jack Easy's philosophy. It was a rough +life and he was not naturally amenable to discipline, but probably his +superiors made a favourite of the dashing handsome lad. The habit, which +helps to redeem Frank Mildmay and even graces Peter Simple, of saving +others from drowning, was always his own. His daughter records, with +pardonable pride, that he was presented while in the navy with +twenty-seven certificates, recommendations, and votes of thanks for +having saved the lives of others at the risk of his own, besides +receiving a gold medal from the Humane Society. + +During the peace of 1815 he "occupied himself in acquiring a perfect +knowledge of such branches of science as might prove useful should the +Lords of the Admiralty think fit to employ him in a voyage of discovery +or survey." A vaguely projected expedition to Africa was, however, +relinquished on account of his marriage with "Catherine, second daughter +of Sir Stephen Shairp, Knt., of Houston, Co. Linlithgow (for many years +Her Britannic Majesty's Consul-General, and twice _chargé d'affaires_ at +the court of Russia);" which took place in January 1819. In this same +year he was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society, according to +tradition on account of his skill in drawing caricatures. + +He was at sea again soon after his marriage as commander of the _Beaver_ +sloop, in which commission he was sent to mount guard over Napoleon at +St Helena until his death. He took a sketch of the dead emperor in full +profile, which was engraved in England and France, and considered a +striking likeness. He was meanwhile no doubt perfecting the code of +signals for the use of merchant vessels of all nations, including the +cipher for secret correspondence, which was immediately adopted, and +secured to its inventor the Cross of the Legion of Honour from Louis +Philippe. It was not actually published in book form till 1837, from +which date its sale produced an appreciable income. + +After returning in the _Rosario_ with the despatches concerning +Napoleon's death, he was sent to escort the body of Queen Caroline to +Cuxhaven. He was then told off for revenue duty in the Channel, and had +some smart cruising for smugglers until the _Rosario_ was pronounced +unseaworthy and paid off on the 22nd of February 1822. As a result of +this experience he wrote a long despatch to the Admiralty, in which he +freely criticised the working of the preventive service, and made some +practical suggestions for its improvement. In 1822 he also published +_Suggestions for the abolition of the present system of impressment in +the Naval Service_, a pamphlet which is said to have made him unpopular +with Royalty. He frequently in his novels urges the same reform, which +he very earnestly desired. + +He was appointed to the _Larne_ in March 1823, and saw some hard service +against the Burmese, for which he received the thanks of the general and +the Indian Government, the Companionship of the Bath, and the command of +the _Ariadne_. Two years later, in November 1830, he resigned his ship, +and quitted active service, according to Mrs Lean, because of his +appointment as equerry to His Royal Highness the Duke of Sussex. + +He was probably influenced, however, by a distaste for routine duties in +time of peace, the claims of a growing family, and literary ambitions. +He had already published _Frank Mildmay_, and received for it the +handsome sum of £400, and negotiations were very possibly on foot +concerning _The King's Own_, of which the composition had been +completed. + +There is considerable difficulty in following the remainder of Marryat's +life, owing to the silence of our only authority, Mrs Lean. No reasons +can be assigned for the sudden flittings in which he constantly +indulged, or for his hasty journeys to America and to the Continent. He +was clearly impulsive in all things, and, though occasionally shrewd, +betrayed a mania for speculation. Moreover, he was naturally addicted to +the Bohemian pleasures of life, being somewhat promiscuous in +hospitality, and absolutely prodigal in the art of making presents. To +satisfy these various demands on his pocket, he was often driven to +spells of desperate work, in spite of the really handsome sums he +received from the publishers and editors with whom he was always at +variance. + +His first regular establishment was Sussex House, Hampstead, which he +soon "swapped," after dinner and champagne, for a small estate of 1000 +acres at Langham, Norfolk; though he did not finally settle in the +country till 1843. His original occupation of Langham, which realised +him a steady annual deficit, was followed by a return to London, a visit +to Brighton and, in 1835, a journey on the Continent to Brussels and +Lausanne. + +He had, meanwhile, been contributing to _The Metropolitan Magazine,_ +which he edited from 1832 to 1835, finally selling his proprietary +rights to Saunders and Otley for £1050. His editorial work was arduous, +and many of his own compositions were first published in _The +Metropolitan._ Here appeared _Newton Forster,_ 1832, _Peter Simple,_ +1833, _Jacob Faithful, Midshipman Easy,_ and _Japhet in search of a +Father_(!) 1834, besides a comedy in three acts, entitled _The Gipsy,_ a +tragedy called _The Cavalier of Seville,_ and the miscellaneous papers +afterwards collected under the title, _Olla Podrida._ + +In 1833 he stood, as a reformer, for Tower Hamlets, but his methods of +canvassing were imprudent. He dwelt upon his own hobbies, and +disregarded those of the electors. He apparently expected to carry the +day by opposing the pressgang in a time of peace, and even permitted +himself to repudiate philanthropy towards the African negro. The +gallantry with which, on one occasion, he saved the lives of his +audience when the floor of the room had fallen in, was not permitted to +cover the rash energy of his reply to a persistent questioner:--"If ever +you, or one of your sons, should come under my command at sea and +deserve punishment, if there be no other effectual mode of conferring +it, _I shall flog you."_ It is hardly necessary to add that he lost the +election. + +He afterwards failed in a plan for the establishment of brevet rank in +the army, but gave some valuable assistance in the preparation of the +Merchant Shipping Bill of 1834. + +It was about this time that Marryat is currently reported to have +challenged F.D. Maurice to a duel. The latter had published an +anonymous novel, called _Eustace Conway,_ in which "a prominent +character, represented in no amiable colours, bore the name of Captain +Marryat." The truth of the story seems to be that the Captain went in +hot wrath to Bentley, and demanded an apology or a statement that the +coincidence was unintentional. Maurice replied, through his publisher, +that he had never heard of Captain Marryat. It may be questioned whether +the apology was not more galling than the original offence. + +In 1834 some legal difficulties arose in connection with his father's +memory, which Marryat accepted with admirable philosophy:-- + + "As for the Chancellor's judgment," he told his mother, "I cannot say + that I thought anything about it, on the contrary, it appears to me + that he might have been much more severe if he had thought proper. It + is easy to impute motives, and difficult to disprove them. I thought, + considering his enmity, that he let us off cheap; as there is no + _punishing a chancellor,_ and he might say what he pleased with + impunity. I did not therefore _roar_, I only _smiled_. The effect will + be nugatory. Not one in a thousand will read it; those who do, know it + refers to a person not in this world; and of those, those who knew my + father will not believe it, those who did not will care little about + it, and forget the name in a week. Had he given the decision in our + favour, I should have been better pleased, _but it's no use crying; + what's done can't be helped."_ + +This letter was written from Brighton, and the following year found +Marryat on the Continent, at home in a circle of gay spirits who might +almost be called the outcasts of English society. They were +pleasure-seekers, by no means necessarily depraved but, by narrow +incomes or other causes, driven into a cheerful exile. The captain was +always ready to give and take in the matter of entertainment, and he was +invited everywhere though, on one occasion at least, it is recorded that +he proved an uncongenial guest. Having dined, as a recognised lion among +lions, he "didn't make a single joke during the whole evening." His host +remarked on his silence the next morning, and Marryat replied:-- + + "Oh, if that's what you wanted you should have asked me when you were + alone. Why, did you imagine I was going to let out any of my jokes for + those fellows to put in their next books? No, that is not _my_ plan. + When I find myself in such company _as that_ I open my ears and hold + my tongue, glean all I can, and give them nothing in return." + +He did not always, however, play the professional author so offensively, +and we hear of his taking part in private theatricals and dances, +preparing a Christmas tree for the children, and cleverly packing his +friends' portmanteaux. + +Meanwhile, he was writing _The Pirate and Three Cutters,_ for which he +received £750, as well as _Snarley-yow_ and the _Pacha of many Tales._ +He had been contributing to the _Metropolitan_ at 15 guineas a sheet, +until he paid a flying visit to England in 1836 in order to transfer his +allegiance to the _New Monthly Magazine,_ from which he secured 20 +guineas. Mrs Lean states that her father received £1100 each for _Peter +Simple, Jacob Faithful, Japhet,_ and _The Pacha of many Tales;_ £1200 +for _Midshipman Easy,_ £1300 for _Snarley-yow,_ and £1600 for the _Diary +in America._ Yet "although Captain Marryat and his publishers mutually +benefited by their transactions with each other, one would have +imagined, from the letters exchanged between them, that they had been +natural enemies." She relates how one of the fraternity told Marryat he +was "somewhat eccentric--an odd creature," and added, "I am somewhat +warm-tempered myself, and therefore make allowance for yours, which is +certainly warm enough." + +Marryat justified the charge by replying:-- + + "There was no occasion for you to make the admission that you are + somewhat warm-tempered; your letter establishes that fact. Considering + your age, you are a little volcano, and if the insurance were aware of + your frequent visits at the Royal Exchange, they would demand double + premium for the building. Indeed, I have my surmises _now_ as to the + last conflagration. + + * * * * * + + Your remark as to the money I have received may sound well, mentioned + as an isolated fact; but how does it sound when it is put in + juxtaposition with the sums you have received? I, who have found + everything, receiving a pittance, while you, who have found nothing + but the shop to sell in, receiving such a lion's share. I assert again + that it is slavery. I am Sinbad the sailor, and you are the old man of + the mountain, clinging on my back, and you must not be surprised at my + wishing to throw you off the first convenient opportunity. + + The fact is, you have the vice of old age very strong upon you, and + you are blinded by it; but put the question to your sons, and ask them + whether they consider the present agreement fair. Let them arrange + with me, and do you go and read your Bible. We all have our ideas of + Paradise, and if other authors think like me, the most pleasurable + portion of anticipated bliss is that there will be no publishers + there. That idea often supports me after an interview with one of your + fraternity." + +Marryat only returned to England a few months before hurrying off to +America in April 1837. The reasons for this move it is impossible to +conjecture, as we can scarcely accept the apparent significance of his +comments on Switzerland in the _Diary on the Continent:--_ + + "Do the faults of these people arise from the peculiarity of their + constitutions, or from the nature of their government? To ascertain + this, one must compare them with those who live under similar + institutions. _I must go to America--that is decided_." + +He was received by the Americans with a curious mixture of suspicion and +enthusiasm. English men and women of letters in late years had been +visiting the Republic and criticising its institutions to the mother +country--with a certain forgetfulness of hospitalities received that was +not, to say the least of it, in good taste. Marryat was also an author, +and it seemed only too probable that he had come to spy out the land. On +the other hand, his books were immensely popular over the water and, but +for dread of possible consequences, Jonathan was delighted to see him. +His arrival at Saratoga Springs produced an outburst in the local papers +of the most pronounced journalese:-- + + "This distinguished writer is at present a sojourner in our city. + Before we knew the gallant Captain was respiring our balmy air, we + really did wonder what laughing gas had imbued our atmosphere--every + one we met in the streets appeared to be in such a state of + jollification; but when we heard that the author of _Peter Simple_ was + actually puffing a cigar amongst us we no longer marvelled at the + pleasant countenances of our citizens. He has often made them laugh + when he was thousands of miles away. Surely now it is but natural that + they ought to be tickled to death at the idea of having him present." + +The Bostonians were proud to claim him as a compatriot through his +mother, and a nautical drama from his pen--_The Ocean Wolf, or the +Channel Outlaw_--was performed at New York with acclamation. He had some +squabbles with American publishers concerning copyright, and was clever +enough to secure two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars from Messrs +Carey & Hart for his forthcoming _Diary in America_ and _The Phantom +Ship,_ which latter first appeared in the _New Monthly,_ 1837 and 1838. +He evidently pleased the Americans on the whole, and was not +unfavourably impressed by what he saw, but the six volumes which he +produced on his return are only respectable specimens of bookmaking, and +do not repay perusal. It was, indeed, his own opinion that he had +already written enough. "If I were not rather in want of money," he says +in a letter to his mother, "I certainly would not write any more, for I +am rather tired of it. I should like to disengage myself from the +fraternity of authors, and be known in future only in my profession as a +good officer and seaman." He had hoped to see some service in Canada, +but the opportunity never came. + +In England, to which he returned in 1839, the want of money soon came to +be felt more seriously. His father's fortune had been invested in the +West Indies, and began to show diminishing returns. For this and other +reasons he led a very wandering existence, for another four or five +years, until 1843. A year at 8 Duke Street, St James, was followed by a +short stay with his mother at Wimbledon House, from which he took +chambers at 120 Piccadilly, and then again moved to Spanish Place, +Manchester Square. Apparently at this time he made an unsuccessful +attempt to return to active service. He was meanwhile working hard at +_Poor Jack, Masterman Ready, The Poacher, Percival Keene,_ etc., and +living hard in the merry circle of a literary Bohemia, with Clarkson +Stanfield, Rogers, Dickens, and Forster; to whom were sometimes added +Lady Blessington, Ainsworth, Cruickshank, and Lytton. The rival +interests served to sour his spirits and weaken his constitution. + +The publication of _The Poacher_ in the _Era_ newspaper involved its +author in a very pretty controversy. A foolish contributor to _Fraser's +Magazine_ got into a rage with Harrison Ainsworth for _condescending_ to +write in the weekly papers, and expressed himself as follows:-- + + "If writing monthly fragments threatened to deteriorate Mr Ainsworth's + productions, what must be the result of this _hebdomadal_ habit? + Captain Marryat, we are sorry to say, has taken to the same line. Both + these popular authors may rely upon our warning, that they will live + to see their laurels fade unless they more carefully cultivate a + spirit of _self-respect._ That which was venial in a miserable + starveling of Grub Street is _perfectly disgusting_ in the + extravagantly paid novelists of these days--the _caressed_, of + generous booksellers. Mr Ainsworth and Captain Marryat ought to + disdain such _pitiful peddling._ Let them eschew it without delay." + +Marryat's reply was, spirited and manly. After ridiculing _Fraser's_ +attempt "to set up a standard of _precedency_ and _rank_ in literature," +and humorously proving that an author's works were not to be esteemed in +proportion to the length of time elapsing between their production, he +turned to the more serious and entirely honest defence that, like +Dickens, he was supplying the lower classes with wholesome recreation:-- + + "I would rather write for the instruction, or even the amusement of + the poor than for the amusement of the rich; and I would sooner raise + a smile or create an interest in the honest mechanic or agricultural + labourer who requires relaxation, than I would contribute to dispel + the _ennui_ of those who loll on their couches and wonder in their + idleness what they shall do next. Is the rich man only to be amused? + are mirth and laughter to be made a luxury, confined to the upper + classes, and denied to the honest and hard-working artisan?... + + In a moral point of view, I hold that I am right. We are educating the + lower classes; generations have sprung up who can read and write; and + may I enquire what it is that they have to read, in the way of + amusement?--for I speak not of the Bible, which is for private + examination. They have scarcely anything but the weekly newspapers, + and, as they cannot command amusement, they prefer those which create + the most excitement; and this I believe to be the cause of the great + circulation of the _Weekly Dispatch,_ which has but too well succeeded + in demoralising the public, in creating disaffection and ill-will + towards the government, and assisting the nefarious views of + demagogues and chartists. It is certain that men would rather laugh + than cry--would rather be amused than rendered gloomy and + discontented--would sooner dwell upon the joys or sorrows of others in + a tale of fiction than brood over their own supposed wrongs. If I put + good and wholesome food (and, as I trust, sound moral) before the + lower classes, they will eventually eschew that which is coarse and + disgusting, which is only resorted to because no better is supplied. + Our weekly newspapers are at present little better than records of + immorality and crime, and the effect which arises from having no other + matter to read and comment upon, is of serious injury to the morality + of the country ... I consider, therefore, that in writing for the + amusement and instruction of the poor man, I am doing that which has + but been too much neglected--that I am serving my country, and you + surely will agree with me that to do so in not _infra. dig._ in the + proudest Englishman; and, as a Conservative, you should commend rather + than stigmatise my endeavours in the manner which you have so hastily + done." + + +It has been said that Marryat's wandering ceased in 1843, and it was in +that year that he settled down at Langham to look after his own estate. +Langham is in the northern division of Norfolk, half way between +Wells-next-the-Sea and Holt. The Manor House, says Mrs Lean, "without +having any great architectural pretensions, had a certain unconventional +prettiness of its own. It was a cottage in the Elizabethan style, built +after the model of one at Virginia Water belonging to his late majesty, +George IV., with latticed windows opening on to flights of stone steps +ornamented with vases of flowers, and leading down from the long narrow +dining-room, where (surrounded by Clarkson Stanfield's illustrations of +_Poor Jack_, with which the walls were clothed) Marryat composed his +later works, to the lawn behind. The house was thatched and gabled, and +its pinkish white walls and round porch were covered with roses and ivy, +which in some parts climbed as high as the roof itself." + +In the unpublished fragment of his _Life of Lord Napier_ Marryat had +declared that retired sailors naturally turned to agriculture, and +frequently made good farmers. A sailor on land, he rather quaintly +remarks, is "but a sort of Adam--a new creature, starting into existence +as it were in his prime;" and "the greatest pleasures of man consist in +imitating the Deity in his _creative_ power." The anticipated _pleasure_ +in farming he did to a great extent realise, but the _profits_ were +still to seek. It can only be said that his losses were rather smaller +that they had been in his absence. + +Thus:-- + + 1842. Total receipts, £154 2 9 + " Expenditure, 1637 0 6 + 1846. Total receipts, 898 12 6 + " Expenditure, 2023 10 8 + +His former tenant had indeed shown but little respect for the property. +Besides taking all he could out of the land without putting anything +into it, he fitted up the drawing-room of the manor (which in its +brightest days had been known in the village as the "Room of Thousand +Columns," from an effect produced by mirrors set in the panels of +folding doors, reflecting trellised pillars,) with rows of beds, which +he let out to tramps at twopence a night! + +Of these latter years on the farm we can gather some distinctly pleasant +impressions. Marryat was evidently a good master at all times. He +delighted to arrange for festivities in the servants' hall, but he was +also very tolerant to poachers, and considered it his first duty to find +work for his men when times were bad. His model pigsties and cottages +were unpopular, but he loved his animals and understood them. The chief +merit of his lazy and somewhat asinine pony Dumpling consisted in his +talent for standing still. Upon this patient beast the captain would +occasionally sally forth to shoot, assisting his natural +short-sightedness by a curious "invention of his own;"--a plain piece of +crystal surrounded by a strip of whalebone, hanging in front of his +right eye from the brim of his "shocking bad hat." He was a careless +dresser, but scrupulously clean; no smoker, but very fond of snuff. He +had a fancy for pure white china which had to be procured from the +Continent. + +Cordial invitations from friends seldom drew him from his self-imposed +labours, and it appears that, in spite of his son's debts and other +domestic troubles, he led a fairly contented existence among his dogs +and his children. To the latter, though occasionally passionate, he was +"a most indulgent father and friend." He never locked anything away from +them, or shut them out of any room in the house. Though severe on +falsehood and cowardice, he was indifferent to mischief, and one is +certainly driven to pity for the governess who was summoned to look +after them. His methods in this connection were original. "He kept a +quantity of small articles for presents in his secretary; and at the +termination of each week the children and governess, armed with a report +of their general behaviour, were ushered with much solemnity into the +library to render up an account. Those who had behaved well during the +preceding seven days received a prize, because they had been so good; +and those who had behaved ill also received one, in hopes that they +would never be naughty again: the governess was also presented with a +gift, that her criticism on the justice of the transaction might be +disarmed." The father was not a strict disciplinarian, and it is related +that when a little one had made "a large rent in a new frock," for which +she expected punishment from her governess, and ran to him for advice, +he "took hold of the rent and tore off the whole lower part of the +skirt," saying, "Tell her I did it." + +The sons were seldom at home, but in spite of a certain constitutional +wildness and lack of prudence, they were evidently a gallant couple, +delighting their father's heart. Frederick, the eldest, became a +distinguished officer, after conquering a strong propensity to practical +joking, and was much regretted in the service when wrecked at the age of +twenty-seven. He was last seen "upbraiding, in his jocular manner, some +people who were frightened, when a sea swept over the ship and took him +with it." Frank was entered upon the roll of the navy at the tender age +of three, and presented to the Port Admiral of Plymouth in full costume. +The officer patted him on the head, saying "Well, you're a fine little +fellow," to which the youngster replied, "and you're a fine old cock, +too." + +He became a cultivated and bold traveller, beloved by his friends, and +not unknown to fame. He only survived his father a few years, and died +at the age of twenty-eight. + +Marryat now began his charming series of stories for children, a work to +which he turned for a practical reason that sounds strangely from his +impulsive lips:-- + +"I have lately taken to a different style of writing, that is, for +young people. My former productions, like all novels, have had their +day, and for the present, at least, will sell no more; but it is not +so with the _juveniles_; they have an annual demand, and become _a +little income_ to me; which I infinitely prefer to receiving any sum +in a mass, which very soon disappears somehow or other." Save for a +little tendency to preachment, these volumes, particularly _Masterman +Ready_, and _The Children of the New Forest_, are admirably suited to +their purpose from the genuine childlikeness of their conception and +treatment. + +Meanwhile Marryat's health was rapidly giving way, and almost his last +appearance before the public was in 1847, when he addressed a pathetic, +but fairly dignified letter to the First Lord of the Admiralty, as a +protest against some affront, which he suspected, to his professional +career. The exact circumstances of the case cannot be now discovered, +but it may be readily conjectured that the formalism of official +courtesy did not match with the Captain's taste, and that the necessity +for self-control on his own part had irritated his resentment. The First +Lord expressed his regret at having wounded a distinguished officer, and +bestowed on him a good service pension. + +It may be said that the pension came too late, if indeed it would at any +time have been particularly serviceable. Marryat was now engaged in that +melancholy chase for health which generally augurs the beginning of the +end. He had ruptured two blood vessels, and was in great danger from the +constitutional weakness which had first attacked him as a young +lieutenant in the West Indies. He moved to his mother's house in order +to consult the London doctors. A mild climate was recommended, and he +went down to Hastings, where the news of his son's death destroyed his +own chances of recovery. After about a month's trial of Brighton, he +came back to the London doctors who told him that "in six months he +would be numbered with his forefathers." + +He went home to Langham to die. Through the summer of 1848 he lingered +on, "in the 'room of a thousand columns,' with the mimic sky, and birds, +and flowers, above and around him, where he chose to lie upon a +mattress, placed on the ground, and there, almost in darkness, often in +pain, and without occupation, he lay--cheerful and uncomplaining, and at +times even humorous." His daughters frequently read aloud to him, and he +always asked for fresh flowers. At the last he became delirious, though +continuing to dictate pages of talk and reflection. On the morning of +August 9th, 1848, he expired in perfect quiet. + +"Although not handsome," says Mrs Lean, "Captain Marryat's personal +appearance was very prepossessing. In figure he was upright and +broad-shouldered for his height, which measured 5ft. 10in. His hands, +without being undersized, were remarkably perfect in form, and modelled +by a sculptor at Rome on account of their symmetry. The character of his +mind was borne out by his features, the most salient expression of which +was the frankness of an open heart. The firm decisive mouth, and massive +thoughtful forehead were redeemed from heaviness by the humorous light +that twinkled in his deep-set grey eyes, which, bright as diamonds, +positively flashed out their fun, or their reciprocation of the fun of +others. As a young man, dark crisp curls covered his head; but later in +life, when, having exchanged the sword for the pen and the +plougshare [sic], he affected a soberer and more patriarchal style of +dress and manner, he wore his grey hair long, and almost down to his +shoulder. His eyebrows were not alike, one being higher up and more +arched than the other, which peculiarity gave his face a look of +enquiry, even in repose. In the upper lip was a deep cleft, and in the +chin as deep a dimple." + +Christopher North describes Captain Marryat as "a captain in the navy, +and an honour to it--an admirable sailor, and an admirable writer--and +would that he were with us on the leads, my lads, for a pleasanter +fellow, _to those who know him,_ never enlivened the social board." It +is evident, indeed, that an intimate knowledge of his character was +necessary to its appreciation, for his daughter declares that "like most +warm-hearted people he was quick to take offence, and no one could have +decided, after an absence of six months, with whom he was friends, and +with whom he was not." One of the said friends wrote truly:-- + + "His faults proceeded from an _over-active_ mind, which could never be + quiet--morning, noon, or night. If he had no one to love, he + quarrelled for want of something better to do; he planned for himself + and for everybody, and changed his mind ten times a-day." + +"Many people have asked," says Mrs Lean "whether Captain Marryat, when +at home, was not 'very funny.' No, decidedly not. In society, with new +topics to discuss, and other wits about him on which to sharpen his own +--or, like flint and steel, to emit sparks by friction--he was as gay +and humorous as the best of them; but at home he was always a +thoughtful, and, at times, a very grave man; for he was not exempt from +those ills that all flesh is heir to, and had his sorrows and his +difficulties and moments of depression, like the rest of us. At such +times it was dangerous to thwart and disturb him, for he was a man of +strong passions and indomitable determination." + +It is not difficult to conceive the character in outline--"wise +English-hearted Captain Marryat," Kingsley calls him. He was incapable +of any mean low vices, but his zest for pleasure was keen, and never +restrained by motives of prudence or consideration for others. His +strong passions at times made him disagreeably selfish and overbearing, +qualities forgiven by acquaintances for his social brilliancy, and by +friends for his frank affection. With some business talents and +practical shrewdness, he was quite incapable of wisely conducting his +affairs, by reason of a mania for speculation and originality. There was +considerable waste of good material in his fiery composition. + +His books reveal the higher standard of his true nature. Their merits +and faults are alike on the surface. Lockhart declared that "he stood +second in merit to no living novelist but Miss Edgeworth. His happy +delineations and contrasts of character, and easy play of native fun, +redeem a thousand faults of verbosity, clumsiness, and coarseness. His +strong sense, and utter superiority to affectation of all sorts, command +respect, and in his quiet effectiveness of circumstantial narrative he +sometimes approaches old Defoe." + +It is easy to criticise Marryat, for his grammar is reckless, he could +not construct a plot, he wrote too much and too rapidly in order to earn +money. But then he was an altogether admirable _raconteur_, and for the +purposes of narration his style was peculiarly appropriate--simple, +rapid, lucid, and vigorous. He does not tax our powers of belief beyond +endurance, or weary us with wonder. His crises are the more effective +from the absence of any studied introduction or thunderous comment; and +he carries his readers through stirring adventures of storm and battle +with a business-like precision that silences doubt. He breathes the +spirit of the sea, himself a genuine sailor, almost as childlike and +simple as one of his own creations. His books are real voyages, in which +a day of bustle and danger is followed by peace and quiet, yarns on the +quarter-deck, and some practical joking among the middies. + +He delights in the exhibition of oddities, and the telling of tall +stories outside the regular course of the narrative, which bubbles over +with somewhat boisterous fun. And his humour is genuine and spontaneous; +it is farcical without descending to buffoonery. His comic types are +built up on character, and, if not subtle, are undeniably human and +living. They are drawn, moreover, with sympathy. + +The whole tone of Marryat's work is singularly fresh, wholesome, and +manly. His heroes endure rough handling, but they fight their way, for +the most part, to the essential qualities of gentlemen. They are no +saints; but excellent comrades, honest lovers, and brave tars. + +R. BRIMLEY JOHNSON. + +FOOTNOTES: +[1] In dwelling upon the autobiographical nature of the _incident_, in +_Frank Mildmay,_ it is necessary to guard against the supposition that +Marryat's _character_ in any way resembled his hero's. See further +Preface to _F M._ + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE + +TO + +PETER SIMPLE AND THE THREE CUTTERS + +From _Nodes Ambrosianæ_:-- + +_Shepherd_ [HOGG]. Did Marry yacht write _Peter Simple_? Peter Simple +in his ain way's as gude's Parson Adams ... He that invented Peter +Simple's a Sea-Fieldin'. + + * * * * * + +_Peter Simple_ is printed from the first edition, in three volumes. +Saunders and Otley, 1834. + +_The Three Cutters_ is printed from the first edition. Longman, Rees, +Orme, Brown, Green, and Longman, 1836. + +_The Three Cutters_ was first published in one volume with _The +Pirate_, containing a portrait of Marryat--Drawn by W. Behnes, engraved +by H. Cook; and "illustrated with twenty splendid engravings from +drawings by Clarkson Stanfield, Esq., R.A." + + + + +Peter Simple + + + + +Chapter I + +The great advantage of being the fool of the family--My destiny is +decided, and I am consigned to a stockbroker as part of His Majesty's +sea stock--Unfortunately for me Mr Handycock is a bear, and I get +very little dinner. + + +If I cannot narrate a life of adventurous and daring exploits, +fortunately I have no heavy crimes to confess; and, if I do not rise in +the estimation of the reader for acts of gallantry and devotion in my +country's cause, at least I may claim the merit of zealous and +persevering continuance in my vocation. We are all of us variously +gifted from Above, and he who is content to walk, instead of to run, on +his allotted path through life, although he may not so rapidly attain +the goal, has the advantage of not being out of breath upon his arrival. +Not that I mean to infer that my life has not been one of adventure. I +only mean to say that, in all which has occurred, I have been a passive, +rather than an active, personage; and, if events of interest are to be +recorded, they certainly have not been sought by me. + +As well as I can recollect and analyze my early propensities, I think +that, had I been permitted to select my own profession, I should in all +probability have bound myself apprentice to a tailor; for I always +envied the comfortable seat which they appeared to enjoy upon the +shopboard, and their elevated position, which enabled them to look down +upon the constant succession of the idle or the busy, who passed in +review before them in the main street of the country town, near to which +I passed the first fourteen years of my existence. + +But my father, who was a clergyman of the Church of England, and the +youngest brother of a noble family, had a lucrative living, and a "soul +above buttons," if his son had not. It has been from time immemorial the +heathenish custom to sacrifice the greatest fool of the family to the +prosperity and naval superiority of the country, and, at the age of +fourteen, I was selected as the victim. If the custom be judicious, I +had no reason to complain. There was not one dissentient voice, when it +was proposed before all the varieties of my aunts and cousins, invited +to partake of our new-year's festival. I was selected by general +acclamation. Flattered by such an unanimous acknowledgment of my +qualification, and a stroke of my father's hand down my head which +accompanied it, I felt as proud, and, alas! as unconscious as the calf +with gilded horns, who plays and mumbles with the flowers of the garland +which designates his fate to every one but himself. I even felt, or +thought I felt, a slight degree of military ardour, and a sort of vision +of future grandeur passed before me, in the distant vista of which I +perceived a coach with four horses and a service of plate. It was, +however, driven away before I could decipher it, by positive bodily +pain, occasioned by my elder brother Tom, who, having been directed by +my father to snuff the candles, took the opportunity of my abstraction +to insert a piece of the still ignited cotton into my left ear. But as +my story is not a very short one, I must not dwell too long on its +commencement. I shall therefore inform the reader, that my father, who +lived in the north of England, did not think it right to fit me out at +the country town, near to which we resided; but about a fortnight after +the decision which I have referred to, he forwarded me to London, on the +outside of the coach, with my best suit of bottle-green and six shirts. +To prevent mistakes, I was booked in the way-bill "to be delivered to Mr +Thomas Handycock, No. 14, Saint Clement's Lane--carriage paid." My +parting with the family was very affecting; my mother cried bitterly, +for, like all mothers, she liked the greatest fool which she had +presented to my father, better than all the rest; my sisters cried +because my mother cried; Tom roared for a short time more loudly than +all the rest, having been chastised by my father for breaking his fourth +window in that week;--during all which my father walked up and down the +room with impatience, because he was kept from his dinner, and, like all +orthodox divines, he was tenacious of the only sensual enjoyment +permitted to his cloth. + +At last I tore myself away. I had blubbered till my eyes were so red and +swollen, that the pupils were scarcely to be distinguished, and tears +and dirt had veined my cheeks like the marble of the chimney-piece. My +handkerchief was soaked through with wiping my eyes and blowing my nose, +before the scene was over. My brother Tom, with a kindness which did +honour to his heart, exchanged his for mine, saying, with fraternal +regard, "Here, Peter, take mine, it's as dry as a bone." But my father +would not wait for a second handkerchief to perform its duty. He led me +away through the hall, when, having shaken hands with all the men and +kissed all the maids, who stood in a row with their aprons to their +eyes, I quitted my paternal roof. + +The coachman accompanied me to the place from whence the stage was to +start. Having seen me securely wedged between two fat old women, and +having put my parcel inside, he took his leave, and in a few minutes I +was on my road to London. + +I was too much depressed to take notice of anything during my journey. +When we arrived in London, they drove to the Blue Boar (in a street, the +name of which I have forgotten). I had never seen or heard of such an +animal, and certainly it did appear very formidable; its mouth was open +and teeth very large. What surprised me still more was to observe that +its teeth and hoofs were of pure gold. Who knows, thought I, that in +some of the strange countries which I am doomed to visit, but that I may +fall in with, and shoot one of these terrific monsters? with what haste +shall I select those precious parts, and with what joy should I, on my +return, pour them as an offering of filial affection into my mother's +lap!--and then, as I thought of my mother, the tears again gushed into +my eyes. + +The coachman threw his whip to the ostler, and the reins upon the +horses' backs; he then dismounted, and calling to me, "Now, young +gentleman, I'se a-waiting," he put a ladder up for me to get down by; +then turning to a porter, he said to him, "Bill, you must take this here +young gem'man and that ere parcel to this here direction.--Please to +remember the coachman, sir." I replied that I certainly would, if he +wished it, and walked off with the porter; the coachman observing, as I +went away, "Well, he is a fool--that's sartain." I arrived quite safe at +St Clement's-lane, when the porter received a shilling for his trouble +from the maid who let me in, and I was shown up into a parlour, where I +found myself in company with Mrs Handycock. + +Mrs Handycock was a little meagre woman, who did not speak very good +English, and who appeared to me to employ the major part of her time in +bawling out from the top of the stairs to the servants below. I never +saw her either read a book or occupy herself with needlework, during the +whole time I was in the house. She had a large grey parrot, and I really +cannot tell which screamed the worse of the two--but she was very civil +and kind to me, and asked me ten times a day when I had last heard of my +grandfather, Lord Privilege. I observed that she always did so if any +company happened to call in during my stay at her house. Before I had +been there ten minutes, she told me that she "hadored sailors--they were +the defendiours and preserviours of their kings and countries," and that +"Mr Handycock would be home by four o'clock, and then we should go to +dinner." Then she jumped off her chair to bawl to the cook from the head +of the stairs--"Jemima, Jemima!--ve'll ha'e the viting biled instead of +fried." "Can't, marm," replied Jemima, "they be all begged and crumbed, +with their tails in their mouths." "Vell, then, never mind, Jemima," +replied the lady.--"Don't put your finger into the parrot's cage, my +love--he's apt to be cross with strangers. Mr Handycock will be home at +four o'clock, and then we shall have our dinner. Are you fond of +viting?" + +As I was very anxious to see Mr Handycock, and very anxious to have my +dinner, I was not sorry to hear the clock on the stairs strike four, +when Mrs Handycock again jumped up, and put her head over the banisters, +"Jemima, Jemima, it's four o'clock!" "I hear it, marm," replied the +cook; and she gave the frying-pan a twist, which made the hissing and +the smell come flying up into the parlour, and made me more hungry than +ever. + +Rap, tap, tap! "There's your master, Jemima," screamed the lady. "I hear +him, marm," replied the cook. "Run down, my dear, and let Mr Handycock +in," said his wife. "He'll be so surprised at seeing you open the door." + +I ran down, as Mrs Handycock desired me, and opened the street-door. +"Who the devil are you?" in a gruff voice, cried Mr Handycock; a man +about six feet high, dressed in blue cotton-net pantaloons and Hessian +boots, with a black coat and waistcoat. I was a little rebuffed, I must +own, but I replied that I was Mr Simple. "And pray, Mr Simple, what +would your grandfather say if he saw you now? I have servants in plenty +to open my door, and the parlour is the proper place for young +gentlemen." + +"Law, Mr Handycock," said his wife, from the top of the stairs, "how can +you be so cross? I told him to open the door to surprise you." + +"And you have surprised me," replied he, "with your cursed folly." + +While Mr Handycock was rubbing his boots on the mat, I went upstairs +rather mortified, I must own, as my father had told me that Mr Handycock +was his stockbroker, and would do all he could to make me comfortable: +indeed, he had written to that effect in a letter, which my father +showed to me before I left home. When I returned to the parlour, Mrs +Handycock whispered to me, "Never mind, my dear, it's only because +there's something wrong on 'Change. Mr Handycock is a _bear_ just now." +I thought so too, but I made no answer, for Mr Handycock came upstairs, +and walking with two strides from the door of the parlour to the +fire-place, turned his back to it, and lifting up his coat-tails, began +to whistle. + +"Are you ready for your dinner, my dear?" said the lady, almost +trembling. + +"If the dinner is ready for me. I believe we usually dine at four," +answered her husband, gruffly. + +"Jemima, Jemima, dish up! do you hear, Jemima?" "Yes, marm," replied the +cook, "directly I've thickened the butter;" and Mrs Handycock resumed +her seat, with, "Well, Mr Simple, and how is your grandfather, Lord +Privilege?" "He is quite well, ma'am," answered I, for the fifteenth +time at least. But dinner put an end to the silence which followed this +remark. Mr Handycock lowered his coat-tails and walked downstairs, +leaving his wife and me to follow at our leisure. + +"Pray, ma'am," inquired I, as soon as he was out of hearing, "what is +the matter with Mr Handycock, that he is so cross to you?" + +"Vy, my dear, it is one of the misfortunes of mater-mony, that ven the +husband's put out, the vife is sure to have her share of it. Mr +Handycock must have lost money on 'Change, and then he always comes home +cross. Ven he vins, then he is as merry as a cricket." + +"Are you people coming down to dinner?" roared Mr Handycock from below. +"Yes, my dear," replied the lady, "I thought that you were washing your +hands." We descended into the dining-room, where we found that Mr +Handycock had already devoured two of the whitings, leaving only one on +the dish for his wife and me. "Vould you like a little bit of viting, my +dear?" said the lady to me. "It's not worth halving," observed the +gentleman, in a surly tone, taking up the fish with his own knife and +fork, and putting it on his plate. + +"Well, I'm so glad you like them, my dear," replied the lady meekly; +then turning to me, "there's some nice roast _weal_ coming, my dear." + +The veal made its appearance, and fortunately for us, Mr Handycock could +not devour it all. He took the lion's share, nevertheless, cutting off +all the brown, and then shoving the dish over to his wife to help +herself and me. I had not put two pieces in my mouth before Mr Handycock +desired me to get up and hand him the porter-pot, which stood on the +sideboard. I thought that if it was not right for me to open a door, +neither was it for me to wait at table--but I obeyed him without making +a remark. + +After dinner, Mr Handycock went down to the cellar for a bottle of wine. +"O deary me!" exclaimed his wife, "he must have lost a mint of money--we +had better go up stairs and leave him alone; he'll be better after a +bottle of port, perhaps." I was very glad to go away, and being very +tired, I went to bed without any tea, for Mrs Handycock dared not +venture to make it before her husband came up stairs. + + + + +Chapter II + +Fitting out on the shortest notice--Fortunately for me, this day Mr +Handycock is a bear, and I fare very well--I set off for Portsmouth-- +Behind the coach I meet a man before the mast--He is disguised with +liquor, but is not the only disguise I fall in with in my journey. + + +The next morning Mr Handycock appeared to be in somewhat better humour. +One of the linendrapers who fitted out cadets, &c, "on the shortest +notice," was sent for, and orders given for my equipment, which Mr +Handycock insisted should be ready on the day afterwards, or the +articles would be left on his hands; adding, that my place was already +taken in the Portsmouth coach. + +"Really, sir," observed the man, "I'm afraid--on such very short +notice--" + +"Your card says, 'the shortest notice,'" rejoined Mr Handycock, with the +confidence and authority of a man who is enabled to correct another by +his own assertions. "If you do not choose to undertake the work, another +will." + +This silenced the man, who made his promise, took my measure, and +departed; and soon afterwards Mr Handycock also quitted the house. + +What with my grandfather and the parrot, and Mrs Handycock wondering how +much money her husband had lost, running to the head of the stairs and +talking to the cook, the day passed away pretty well till four o'clock; +when, as before, Mrs Handycock screamed, the cook screamed, the parrot +screamed, and Mr Handycock rapped at the door, and was let in--but not +by me. He ascended the stair swith [sic] three bounds, and coming into +the parlour, cried, "Well, Nancy, my love, how are you?" Then stooping +over her, "Give me a kiss, old girl. I'm as hungry as a hunter. Mr +Simple, how do you do? I hope you have passed the morning agreeably. I +must wash my hands and change my boots, my love; I am not fit to sit +down to table with you in this pickle. Well, Polly, how are you?" + +"I'm glad you're hungry, my dear, I've such a nice dinner for you," +replied the wife, all smiles. "Jemima, be quick and dish up--Mr +Handycock is so hungry." + +"Yes, marm," replied the cook; and Mrs Handycock followed her husband +into his bedroom on the same floor, to assist him at his toilet. + +"By Jove, Nancy, the _bulls_ have been nicely taken in," said Mr +Handycock, as we sat down to dinner. + +"O, I am so glad!" replied his wife, giggling; and so I believe she was, +but why I did not understand. + +"Mr Simple," said he, "will you allow me to offer you a little fish?" + +"If you do not want it all yourself, sir," replied I politely. + +Mrs Handycock frowned and shook her head at me, while her husband helped +me. "My dove, a bit of fish?" + +We both had our share to-day, and I never saw a man more polite than Mr +Handycock. He joked with his wife, asked me to drink wine with him two +or three times, talked about my grandfather; and, in short, we had a +very pleasant evening. + +The next morning all my clothes came home, but Mr Handycock, who still +continued in good humour, said that he would not allow me to travel by +night, that I should sleep there and set off the next morning; which I +did at six o'clock, and before eight I had arrived at the Elephant and +Castle, where we stopped for a quarter of an hour. I was looking at the +painting representing this animal with a castle on its back; and +assuming that of Alnwick, which I had seen, as a fair estimate of the +size and weight of that which he carried, was attempting to enlarge my +ideas so as to comprehend the stupendous bulk of the elephant, when I +observed a crowd assembled at the corner; and asking a gentleman who sat +by me in a plaid cloak, whether there was not something very uncommon to +attract so many people, he replied, "Not very, for it is only a drunken +sailor." + +I rose from my seat, which was on the hinder part of the coach, that I +might see him, for it was a new sight to me, and excited my curiosity, +when to my astonishment, he staggered from the crowd, and swore that +he'd go to Portsmouth. He climbed up by the wheel of the coach, and sat +down by me. I believe that I stared at him very much, for he said to me, +"What are you gaping at, you young sculping? Do you want to catch flies? +or did you never see a chap half-seas-over before?" + +I replied, "That I had never been at sea in my life, but that I was +going." + +"Well, then, you're like a young bear, all your sorrows to come--that's +all, my hearty," replied he. "When you get on board, you'll find +monkey's allowance--more kicks than half-pence. I say, you +pewter-carrier, bring us another pint of ale." + +The waiter of the inn, who was attending the coach, brought out the ale, +half of which the sailor drank, and the other half threw into the +waiter's face, telling him that was his "allowance: and now," said he, +"what's to pay?" The waiter, who looked very angry, but appeared too +much afraid of the sailor to say anything, answered fourpence; and the +sailor pulled out a handful of banknotes, mixed up with gold, silver, +and coppers, and was picking out the money to pay for his beer, when the +coachman, who was impatient, drove off. + +"There's cut and run," cried the sailor, thrusting all the money into +his breeches pocket. "That's what you'll learn to do, my joker, before +you've been two cruises to sea." + +In the meantime the gentleman in the plaid cloak, who was seated by me, +smoked his cigar without saying a word. I commenced a conversation with +him relative to my profession, and asked him whether it was not very +difficult to learn. "Larn," cried the sailor, interrupting us, "no; it +may be difficult for such chaps as me before the mast to larn; but you, +I presume, is a reefer, and they an't got much to larn, 'cause why, they +pipe-clays their weekly accounts, and walks up and down with their hands +in their pockets. You must larn to chaw baccy, drink grog, and call the +cat a beggar, and then you knows all a midshipman's expected to know +nowadays. Ar'n't I right, sir?" said the sailor, appealing to the +gentleman in a plaid cloak. "I axes you, because I see you're a sailor +by the cut of your jib. Beg pardon, sir," continued he, touching his +hat, "hope no offence." + +"I am afraid that you have nearly hit the mark, my good fellow," replied +the gentleman. + +The drunken fellow then entered into conversation with him, stating that +he had been paid off from the _Audacious_ at Portsmouth, and had come up +to London to spend his money with his messmates, but that yesterday he +had discovered that a Jew at Portsmouth had sold him a seal as gold, for +fifteen shillings, which proved to be copper, and that he was going +back to Portsmouth to give the Jew a couple of black eyes for his +rascality, and that when he had done that he was to return to his +messmates, who had promised to drink success to the expedition at the +Cock and Bottle, St Martin's Lane, until he should return. + +The gentleman in the plaid cloak commended him very much for his +resolution; for he said, "that although the journey to and from +Portsmouth would cost twice the value of a gold seal, yet, that in the +end it might be worth a _Jew's Eye_." What he meant I did not +comprehend. + +Whenever the coach stopped, the sailor called for more ale, and always +threw the remainder which he could not drink into the face of the man +who brought it out for him, just as the coach was starting off, and then +tossed the pewter pot on the ground for him to pick up. He became more +tipsy every stage, and the last from Portsmouth, when he pulled out his +money, he could find no silver, so he handed down a note, and desired +the waiter to change it. The waiter crumpled it up and put it into his +pocket, and then returned the sailor the change for a one-pound note; +but the gentleman in the plaid had observed that it was a five-pound +note which the sailor had given, and insisted upon the waiter producing +it, and giving the proper change. The sailor took his money, which the +waiter handed to him, begging pardon for the mistake, although he +coloured up very much at being detected. "I really beg your pardon," +said he again, "it was quite a mistake;" whereupon the sailor threw the +pewter pot at the waiter, saying, "I really beg your pardon, too,"--and +with such force, that it flattened upon the man's head, who fell +senseless on the road. The coachman drove off, and I never heard whether +the man was killed or not. + +After the coach had driven off, the sailor eyed the gentleman in the +plaid cloak for a minute or two, and then said, "When I first looked at +you I took you for some officer in mufti; but now that I see you look so +sharp after the rhino, it's my idea that you're some poor devil of a +Scotchman, mayhap second mate of a marchant vessel--there's half a crown +for your services--I'd give you more if I thought you would spend it." + +The gentleman laughed, and took the half-crown, which I afterwards +observed that he gave to a grey-headed beggar at the bottom of Portsdown +Hill. I inquired of him how soon we should be at Portsmouth; he answered +that we were passing the lines; but I saw no lines, and I was ashamed to +show my ignorance. He asked me what ship I was going to join. I could +not recollect her name, but I told him it was painted on the outside of +my chest, which was coming down by the waggon; all that I could +recollect was that it was a French name. + +"Have you no letter of introduction to the captain?" said he. + +"Yes I have," replied I; and I pulled out my pocket-book in which the +letter was. "Captain Savage, H.M. ship _Diomede_," continued I, reading +to him. + +To my surprise he very coolly proceeded to open the letter, which, when +I perceived what he was doing, occasioned me immediately to snatch the +letter from him, stating my opinion at the same time that it was a +breach of honour, and that in my opinion he was no gentleman. + +"Just as you please, youngster," replied he. "Recollect, you have told +me I am no gentleman." + +He wrapped his plaid around him, and said no more; and I was not a +little pleased at having silenced him by my resolute behaviour. + + + + +Chapter III + +I am made to look very blue at the Blue Posts--Find wild spirits around, +and, soon after, hot spirits within me; at length my spirits overcome me +Call to pay my respects to the Captain, and find that I had had the +pleasure of meeting him before--No sooner out of one scrape than into +another. + + +When we stopped, I inquired of the coachman which was the best inn. He +answered "that it was the Blue Postesses, where the midshipmen leave +their chestesses, call for tea and toastesses, and sometimes forget to +pay for their breakfastesses." He laughed when he said it, and I thought +that he was joking with me; but he pointed out two large blue posts at +the door next the coach-office, and told me that all the midshipmen +resorted to that hotel. He then asked me to remember the coachman, +which, by this time I had found out implied that I was not to forget to +give him a shilling, which I did, and then went into the inn. The +coffee-room was full of midshipmen, and, as I was anxious about my +chest, I inquired of one of them if he knew when the waggon would come +in. + +"Do you expect your mother by it?" replied he. + +"Oh no! but I expect my uniforms--I only wear these bottle-greens until +they come." + +"And pray what ship are you going to join?" + +"The _Die-a-maid_--Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage." + +"The _Diomede_--I say, Robinson, a'n't that the frigate in which the +midshipmen had four dozen apiece for not having pipe-clayed their weekly +accounts on the Saturday?" + +"To be sure it is," replied the other; "why the captain gave a youngster +five dozen the other day for wearing a scarlet watch-riband." + +"He's the greatest Tartar in the service," continued the other; "he +flogged the whole starboard watch the last time that he was on a cruise, +because the ship would only sail nine knots upon a bowline." + +"Oh dear," said I, "then I'm very sorry that I am going to join him." + +"'Pon my soul I pity you: you'll be fagged to death: for there's only +three midshipmen in the ship now--all the rest ran away. Didn't they, +Robinson?" + +"There's only two left now; for poor Matthews died of fatigue. He was +worked all day, and kept watch all night for six weeks, and one morning +he was found dead upon his chest." + +"God bless my soul!" cried I; "and yet, on shore, they say he is such a +kind man to his midshipmen." + +"Yes," replied Robinson, "he spreads that report every where. Now, +observe, when you first call upon him, and report your having come to +join his ship, he'll tell you that he is very happy to see you, and that +he hopes your family are well--then he'll recommend you to go on board +and learn your duty. After that, stand clear. Now, recollect what I have +said, and see if it does not prove true. Come, sit down with us and take +a glass of grog; it will keep your spirits up." + +These midshipmen told me so much about my captain, and the horrid +cruelties which he had practised, that I had some doubts whether I had +not better set off home again. When I asked their opinion, they said, +that if I did, I should be taken up as a deserter and hanged; that my +best plan was to beg his acceptance of a few gallons of rum, for he was +very fond of grog, and that then I might perhaps be in his good graces, +as long as the rum might last. + +I am sorry to state that the midshipmen made me very tipsy that evening. +I don't recollect being put to bed, but I found myself there the next +morning, with a dreadful headache, and a very confused recollection of +what had passed. I was very much shocked at my having so soon forgotten +the injunctions of my parents, and was making vows never to be so +foolish again, when in came the midshipman who had been so kind to me +the night before. "Come, Mr Bottlegreen," he bawled out, alluding, I +suppose, to the colour of my clothes, "rouse and bitt. There's the +captain's coxswain waiting for you below. By the powers, you're in a +pretty scrape for what you did last night!" + +"Did last night!" replied I, astonished. "Why, does the captain know +that I was tipsy?" + +"I think you took devilish good care to let him know it when you were at +the theatre." + +"At the theatre! was I at the theatre?" + +"To be sure you were. You would go, do all we could to prevent you, +though you were as drunk as David's sow. Your captain was there with the +admiral's daughters. You called him a tyrant and snapped your fingers at +him. Why, don't you recollect? You told him that you did not care a fig +for him." + +"Oh dear! oh dear! what shall I do? what shall I do?" cried I: "My +mother cautioned me so about drinking and bad company." + +"Bad company, you whelp--what do you mean by that?" + +"O, I did not particularly refer to you." + +"I should hope not! However, I recommend you, as a friend, to go to the +George Inn as fast as you can, and see your captain, for the longer you +stay away, the worse it will be for you. At all events, it will be +decided whether he receives you or not. It is fortunate for you that you +are not on the ship's books. Come, be quick, the coxswain is gone back." + +"Not on the ship's books," replied I sorrowfully. "Now I recollect there +was a letter from the captain to my father, stating that he had put me +on the books." + +"Upon my honour, I'm sorry--very sorry indeed," replied the midshipman; +--and he quitted the room, looking as grave as if the misfortune had +happened to himself. I got up with a heavy head, and heavier heart, and +as soon as I was dressed, I asked the way to the George Inn. I took my +letter of introduction with me, although I was afraid it would be of +little service. When I arrived, I asked, with a trembling voice, whether +Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage, of H.M. ship _Diomede_, was staying +there. The waiter replied, that he was at breakfast with Captain +Courtney, but that he would take up my name. I gave it him, and in a +minute the waiter returned, and desired that I would walk up. O how my +heart beat!--I never was so frightened--I thought I should have dropped +on the stairs. Twice I attempted to walk into the room, and each time my +legs failed me; at last I wiped the perspiration from my forehead, and +with a desperate effort I went into the room. + +"Mr Simple, I am glad to see you," said a voice. I had held my head +down, for I was afraid to look at him, but the voice was so kind that I +mustered up courage; and, when I did look up, there sat with his uniform +and epaulets, and his sword by his side, the passenger in the plaid +cloak, who wanted to open my letter, and whom I had told to his face, +that he was _no gentleman_. + +I thought I should have died as the other midshipman did upon his chest. +I was just sinking down upon my knees to beg for mercy, when the captain +perceiving my confusion, burst out into a laugh, and said, "So you know +me again, Mr Simple? Well, don't be alarmed, you did your duty in not +permitting me to open the letter, supposing me, as you did, to be some +other person, and you were perfectly right, under that supposition, to +tell me that I was not a gentleman. I give you credit for your conduct. +Now sit down and take some breakfast." + +"Captain Courtney," said he to the other captain, who was at the table, +"this is one of my youngsters just entering the service. We were +passengers yesterday by the same coach." He then told him the +circumstance which occurred, at which they laughed heartily. + +I now recovered my spirits a little--but still there was the affair at +the theatre, and I thought that perhaps he did not recognize me. I was, +however, soon relieved from my anxiety by the other captain inquiring, +"Were you at the theatre last night, Savage?" + +"No; I dined at the admiral's; there's no getting away from those girls, +they are so pleasant." + +"I rather think you are a little--_taken_ in that quarter." + +"No, on my word! I might be if I had time to discover which I liked +best; but my ship is at present my wife, and the only wife I intend to +have until I am laid on the shelf." + +Well, thought I, if he was not at the theatre, it could not have been +him that I insulted. Now if I can only give him the rum, and make +friends with him. + +"Pray, Mr Simple, how are your father and mother?" said the captain. + +"Very well, I thank you, sir, and desire me to present their +compliments." + +"I am obliged to them. Now I think the sooner you go on board and learn +your duty the better." (Just what the midshipman told me--the very +words, thought I--then it's all true--and I began to tremble again.) + +"I have a little advice to offer you," continued the captain. "In the +first place, obey your superior officers without hesitation; it is for +me, not you, to decide whether an order is unjust or not. In the next +place, never swear or drink spirits. The first is immoral and +ungentleman-like, the second is a vile habit which will grow upon you. I +never touch spirit myself, and I expect that my young gentlemen will +refrain from it also. Now you may go, and as soon as your uniforms +arrive, you will repair on board. In the meantime, as I had some little +insight into your character when we travelled together, let me recommend +you not to be too intimate at first sight with those you meet, or you +may be led into indiscretions. Good morning." + +I quitted the room with a low bow, glad to have surmounted so easily +what appeared to be a chaos of difficulty; but my mind was confused with +the testimony of the midshipman, so much at variance with the language +and behaviour of the captain. When I arrived at the Blue Posts, I found +all the midshipmen in the coffee-room, and I repeated to them all that +had passed. When I had finished, they burst out laughing, and said that +they had only been joking with me. "Well," said I to the one who had +called me up in the morning, "you may call it joking, but I call it +lying." + +"Pray, Mr Bottlegreen, do you refer to me?" + +"Yes, I do," replied I. + +"Then, sir, as a gentleman, I demand satisfaction. Slugs in a saw-pit. +Death before dishonour, d----e!" + +"I shall not refuse you," replied I, "although I had rather not fight a +duel; my father cautioned me on the subject, desiring me, if possible, +to avoid it, as it was flying in the face of my Creator; but aware that +I must uphold my character as an officer, he left me to my own +discretion, should I ever be so unfortunate as to be in such a dilemma." + +"Well, we don't want one of your father's sermons at second-hand," +replied the midshipman, (for I had told them that my father was a +clergyman); "the plain question is, will you fight, or will you not?" + +"Could not the affair be arranged otherwise?" interrupted another. "Will +not Mr Bottlegreen retract?" + +"My name is Simple, sir, and not Bottlegreen," replied I; "and as he did +tell a falsehood, I will not retract." + +"Then the affair must go on," said the midshipman. "Robinson, will you +oblige me by acting as my second?" + +"It's an unpleasant business," replied the other; "you are so good a +shot; but as you request it, I shall not refuse. Mr Simple is not, I +believe, provided with a friend." + +"Yes, he is," replied another of the midshipmen. "He is a spunky fellow, +and I'll be his second." + +It was then arranged that we should meet the next morning, with pistols. +I considered that as an officer and a gentleman, I could not well +refuse; but I was very unhappy. Not three days left to my own guidance, +and I had become intoxicated, and was now to fight a duel. I went up +into my room and wrote a long letter to my mother, enclosing a lock of +my hair; and having shed a few tears at the idea of how sorry she would +be if I were killed, I borrowed a bible from the waiter, and read it +during the remainder of the day. + + + + +Chapter IV + +I am taught on a cold morning, before breakfast, how to stand fire, and +thus prove my courage--After breakfast I also prove my gallantry--My +proof meets reproof--Woman at the bottom of all mischief--By one I lose +my liberty, and, by another, my money. + + +When I began to wake the next morning I could not think what it was that +felt like a weight upon my chest, but as I roused and recalled my +scattered thoughts, I remembered that in an hour or two it would be +decided whether I were to exist another day. I prayed fervently, and +made a resolution in my own mind that I would not have the blood of +another upon my conscience, and would fire my pistol up in the air. And +after I had made that resolution, I no longer felt the alarm which I did +before. Before I was dressed, the midshipman who had volunteered to be +my second, came into my room, and informed me that the affair was to be +decided in the garden behind the inn; that my adversary was a very good +shot, and that I must expect to be winged if not drilled. + +"And what is winged and drilled?" inquired I. "I have not only never +fought a duel, but I have not even fired a pistol in my life." + +He explained what he meant, which was, that being winged implied being +shot through the arm or leg, whereas being drilled was to be shot +through the body. "But," continued he, "is it possible that you have +never fought a duel?" + +"No," replied I; "I am not yet fifteen years old." + +"Not fifteen! why I thought you were eighteen at the least." (But I was +very tall and stout for my age, and people generally thought me older +than I actually was.) + +I dressed myself and followed my second into the garden, where I found +all the midshipmen and some of the waiters of the inn. They all seemed +very merry, as if the life of a fellow-creature was of no consequence. +The seconds talked apart for a little while, and then measured the +ground, which was twelve paces; we then took our stations. I believe +that I turned pale, for my second came to my side and whispered that I +must not be frightened. I replied, that I was not frightened, but that I +considered that it was an awful moment. The second to my adversary then +came up and asked me whether I would make an apology, which I refused to +do as before: they handed a pistol to each of us, and my second showed +me how I was to pull the trigger. It was arranged that at the word +given, we were to fire at the same time. I made sure that I should be +wounded, if not killed, and I shut my eyes as I fired my pistol in the +air. I felt my head swim, and thought I was hurt, but fortunately I was +not. The pistols were loaded again, and we fired a second time. The +seconds then interfered, and it was proposed that we should shake hands, +which I was very glad to do, for I considered my life to have been saved +by a miracle. We all went back to the coffee-room, and sat down to +breakfast. They then told me that they all belonged to the same ship +that I did, and that they were glad to see that I could stand fire, for +the captain was a terrible fellow for cutting-out and running under the +enemy's batteries. + +The next day my chest arrived by the waggon, and I threw off my +"bottle-greens" and put on my uniform. I had no cocked hat, or dirk, as +the warehouse people employed by Mr Handycock did not supply those +articles, and it was arranged that I should procure them at Portsmouth. +When I inquired the price, I found that they cost more money than I had +in my pocket, so I tore up the letter I had written to my mother before +the duel, and wrote another asking for a remittance, to purchase my dirk +and cocked hat. I then walked out in my uniform, not a little proud, I +must confess. I was now an officer in his Majesty's service, not very +high in rank, certainly, but still an officer and a gentleman, and I +made a vow that I would support the character, although I was considered +the greatest fool of the family. + +I had arrived opposite a place called Sally Port, when a young lady, +very nicely dressed, looked at me very hard and said, "Well, Reefer, how +are you off for soap?" I was astonished at the question, and more so at +the interest which she seemed to take in my affairs. I answered, "Thank +you, I am very well off; I have four cakes of Windsor, and two bars of +yellow for washing." She laughed at my reply, and asked me whether I +would walk home and take a bit of dinner with her. I was astonished at +this polite offer, which my modesty induced me to ascribe more to my +uniform than to my own merits, and, as I felt no inclination to refuse +the compliment, I said that I should be most happy. I thought I might +venture to offer my arm, which she accepted, and we proceeded up High +Street on our way to her home. + +Just as we passed the admiral's house, I perceived my captain walking +with two of the admiral's daughters. I was not a little proud to let him +see that I had female acquaintances as well as he had, and, as I passed +him with the young lady under my protection, I took off my hat, and made +him a low bow. To my surprise, not only did he not return the salute, +but he looked at me with a very stern countenance. I concluded that he +was a very proud man, and did not wish the admiral's daughters to +suppose that he knew midshipmen by sight; but I had not exactly made up +my mind on the subject, when the captain, having seen the ladies into +the admiral's house, sent one of the messengers after me to desire that +I would immediately come to him at the George Inn, which was nearly +opposite. + +I apologised to the young lady, and promised to return immediately if +she would wait for me; but she replied, if that was my captain, it was +her idea that I should have a confounded wigging and be sent on board. +So, wishing me good-bye, she left me and continued her way home. I could +as little comprehend all this as why the captain looked so black when I +passed him; but it was soon explained when I went up to him in the +parlour at the George Inn. "I am sorry, Mr Simple," said the captain, +when I entered, "that a lad like you should show such early symptoms of +depravity; still more so, that he should not have the grace which even +the most hardened are not wholly destitute of--I mean to practise +immorality in secret, and not degrade themselves and insult their +captain by unblushingly avowing (I may say glorying in) their iniquity, +by exposing it in broad day, and in the most frequented street of the +town." + +"Sir," replied I with astonishment, "O dear! O dear! what have I done?" + +The captain fixed his keen eyes upon me, so that they appeared to pierce +me through, and nail me to the wall. "Do you pretend to say, sir, that +you were not aware of the character of the person with whom you were +walking just now?" + +"No, sir," replied I; "except that she was very kind and good-natured;" +and then I told him how she had addressed me, and what subsequently took +place. + +"And is it possible, Mr Simple, that you are so great a fool?" I replied +that I certainly was considered the greatest fool of our family. "I +should think you were," replied he, drily. He then explained to me who +the person was with whom I was in company, and how any association with +her would inevitably lead to my ruin and disgrace. + +I cried very much, for I was shocked at the narrow escape which I had +had, and mortified at having fallen in his good opinion. He asked me how +I had employed my time since I had been at Portsmouth, and I made an +acknowledgment of having been made tipsy, related all that the +midshipmen had told me, and how I had that morning fought a duel. + +He listened to my whole story very attentively, and I thought that +occasionally there was a smile upon his face, although he bit his lips +to prevent it. When I had finished, he said, "Mr Simple, I can no longer +trust you on shore until you are more experienced in the world. I shall +desire my coxswain not to lose sight of you until you are safe on board +of the frigate. When you have sailed a few months with me, you will then +be able to decide whether I deserve the character which the young +gentlemen have painted, with, I must say, I believe, the sole intention +of practising upon your inexperience." + +Altogether I did not feel sorry when it was over. I saw that the captain +believed what I had stated, and that he was disposed to be kind to me, +although he thought me very silly. The coxswain, in obedience to his +orders, accompanied me to the Blue Posts. I packed up my clothes, paid +my bill, and the porter wheeled my chest down to the Sally Port, where +the boat was waiting. + +"Come, heave a-head, my lads, be smart. The captain says we are to take +the young gentleman on board directly. His liberty's stopped for getting +drunk and running after the Dolly Mops!" + +"I should thank you to be more respectful in your remarks, Mr Coxswain," +said I with displeasure. + +"Mister Coxswain! thanky, sir, for giving me a handle to my name," +replied he. "Come, be smart with your oars, my lads!" + +"La, Bill Freeman," said a young woman on the beach, "what a nice young +gentleman you have there! He looks like a sucking Nelson. I say, my +pretty young officer, could you lend me a shilling?" + +I was so pleased at the woman calling me a young Nelson, that I +immediately complied with her request. "I have not a shilling in my +pocket," said I, "but here is half-a-crown, and you can change it and +bring me back the eighteen pence." + +"Well, you are a nice young man," replied she, taking the half-crown; +"I'll be back directly, my dear." + +The men in the boat laughed, and the coxswain desired them to shove off. + +"No," observed I, "you must wait for my eighteen pence." + +"We shall wait a devilish long while then, I suspect. I know that girl, +and she has a very bad memory." + +"She cannot be so dishonest or ungrateful," replied I. "Coxswain, I +order you to stay--I am an officer." + +"I know you are, sir, about six hours old: well, then, I must go up and +tell the captain that you have another girl in tow, and that you won't +go on board." + +"Oh no, Mr Coxswain, pray don't; shove off as soon as you please, and +never mind the eighteen pence." + +The boat then shoved off, and pulled towards the ship, which lay at +Spithead. + + + + +Chapter V + +I am introduced to the quarter-deck and first lieutenant, who pronounces +me very clever--Trotted below to Mrs Trotter--Connubial bliss in a +cock-pit--Mr Trotter takes me in as a mess-mate--Feel very much +surprised that so many people know that I am the son of--my father. + + +On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to +the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note, +looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another +lieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. As long as it was not +popular, if we had not much education, we at least had the chance that +natural abilities gave us; but now that great people send their sons for +a provision into the navy, we have all the refuse of their families, as +if anything was good enough to make a captain of a man-of-war, who has +occasionally more responsibility on his shoulders, and is placed in +situations requiring more judgment, than any other people in existence. +Here's another of the fools of a family made a present of to the +country--another cub for me to lick into shape. Well, I never saw the +one yet I did not make something of. Where's Mr Simple?" + +"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I had +overheard. + +"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe, and pay +particular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note +that you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in +that way. You're something like the monkeys, who won't speak because +they are afraid they will be made to work. I have looked attentively at +your face, and I see at once that you are _very clever_, and if you do +not prove so in a very short time, why--you had better jump overboard, +that's all. Perfectly understand me. I know that you are a very clever +fellow, and having told you so, don't you pretend to impose upon me, for +it won't do." + +I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was +pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in +my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation. + +"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come on +deck." + +The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologized for being so +dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short, +thick-set man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red +club to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers. + +"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman who +has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock +slung. You must look after him a little." + +"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," replied +Mr Trotter; "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster." +Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another, +and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which +when I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit. + +"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest, +"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck above +this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you as +a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly; +the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind +that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is on +board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be here +directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net of +potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permission +for you to mess with us. You will then be away from the midshipmen, who +are a sad set, and will teach you nothing but what is immoral and +improper, and you will have the advantage of being in good society, for +Mrs Trotter has kept the very best in England. I make you this offer +because I want to oblige the first lieutenant, who appears to take an +interest about you, otherwise I am not very fond of having any intrusion +upon my domestic happiness." + +I replied that I was much obliged to him for his kindness, and that if +it would not put Mrs Trotter to an inconvenience, I should be happy to +accept of his offer; indeed, I thought myself very fortunate in having +met with such a friend. I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived a +pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us, +and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who came down the +ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes. + +"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a very +pretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to Mr +Simple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who, with +your permission, will join our mess." + +"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thought +that nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady, +simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed. + +"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there anything to be +ashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. I +believe I mentioned his desire to join our mess." + +"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange place +for me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have been +accustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than lose +the company of my dear Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniary +matters--" + +"Say no more about it, my love. Domestic happiness is everything, and +will enliven even the gloom of a cock-pit." + +"And yet," continued Mrs Trotter, "when I think of the time when we used +to live in London, and keep our carriage. Have you ever been in London, +Mr Simple?" I answered that I had. + +"Then, probably, you may have been acquainted with, or have heard of, +the Smiths?" + +I replied that the only people that I knew there were a Mr and Mrs +Handycock. + +"Well, if I had known that you were in London, I should have been very +glad to have given you a letter of introduction to the Smiths. They are +quite the topping people of the place." + +"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look after +our dinner?" + +"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces to-day. Mr +Simple, will you excuse me?" and then, with a great deal of flirtation +and laughing about her ankles, and requesting me, as a favour, to turn +my face away, Mrs Trotter ascended the ladder. + +As the reader may wish to know what sort of looking personage she was, I +will take this opportunity to describe her. Her figure was very good, +and at one period of her life I thought her face must have been very +handsome; at the time I was introduced to her, it showed the ravages of +time or hardship very distinctly; in short, she might be termed a faded +beauty, flaunting in her dress, and not very clean in her person. + +"Charming woman, Mrs Trotter, is she not, Mr Simple?" said the master's +mate; to which, of course, I immediately acquiesced. "Now, Mr Simple," +continued he, "there are a few arrangements which I had better mention +while Mrs Trotter is away, for she would be shocked at our talking about +such things. Of course, the style of living which we indulge in is +rather expensive. Mrs Trotter cannot dispense with her tea and her other +little comforts; at the same time I must put you to no extra expense--I +had rather be out of pocket myself. I propose that during the time you +mess with us you shall only pay one guinea per week; and as for entrance +money, why I think I must not charge you more than a couple of guineas. +Have you any money?" + +"Yes," I replied, "I have three guineas and a half left." + +"Well, then, give me the three guineas, and the half-guinea you can +reserve for pocket-money. You must write to your friends immediately for +a further supply." + +I handed him the money, which he put in his pocket. "Your chest," +continued he, "you shall bring down here, for Mrs Trotter will, I am +sure, if I request it, not only keep it in order for you, but see that +your clothes are properly mended. She is a charming woman, Mrs Trotter, +and very fond of young gentlemen. How old are you?" + +I replied that I was fifteen. + +"No more! well, I am glad of that, for Mrs Trotter is very particular +after a certain age. I should recommend you on no account to associate +with the other midshipmen. They are very angry with me, because I would +not permit Mrs Trotter to join their mess, and they are sad +story-tellers." + +"That they certainly are," replied I; but here we were interrupted by +Mrs Trotter coming down with a piece of stick in her hand upon which +were skewered about a dozen small pieces of beef and pork, which she +first laid on a plate, and then began to lay the cloth and prepare for +dinner. + +"Mr Simple is only fifteen, my dear," observed Mr Trotter. + +"Dear me!" replied Mrs Trotter, "why, how tall he is! He is quite as +tall for his age as young Lord Foutretown, whom you used to take out +with you in the _chay_. Do you know Lord Foutretown, Mr Simple?" + +"No, I do not, ma'am," replied I; but wishing to let them know that I +was well connected, I continued, "but I dare say that my grandfather, +Lord Privilege, does." + +"God bless me! is Lord Privilege your grandfather? Well, I thought I saw +a likeness somewhere. Don't you recollect Lord Privilege, my dear +Trotter, that we met at Lady Scamp's--an elderly person? It's very +ungrateful of you not to recollect him, for he sent you a very fine +haunch of venison." + +"Privilege--bless me, yes. Oh, yes! an old gentleman, is he not?" said +Mr Trotter, appealing to me. + +"Yes, sir," replied I, quite delighted to find myself among those who +were acquainted with my family. + +"Well, then, Mr Simple," said Mrs Trotter, "since we have the pleasure +of being acquainted with your family, I shall now take you under my own +charge, and I shall be so fond of you that Trotter shall become quite +jealous," added she, laughing. "We have but a poor dinner to-day, for +the bumboat woman disappointed me. I particularly requested her to bring +me off a leg of lamb, but she says that there was none in the market. It +is rather early for it, that's true; but Trotter is very nice in his +eating. Now, let us sit down to dinner." + +I felt very sick, indeed, and could eat nothing. Our dinner consisted of +the pieces of beef and pork, the potatoes, and a baked pudding in a tin +dish. Mr Trotter went up to serve the spirits out to the ship's company, +and returned with a bottle of rum. + +"Have you got Mr Simple's allowance, my love?" inquired Mrs Trotter. + +"Yes; he is victualled to-day, as he came on board before twelve +o'clock. Do you drink spirits, Mr Simple?" + +"No, I thank you," replied I; for I remembered the captain's injunction. + +"Taking, as I do, such an interest in your welfare, I must earnestly +recommend you to abstain from them," said Mr Trotter. "It is a very bad +habit, and once acquired, not easy to be left off. I am obliged to drink +them, that I may not check the perspiration after working in the hold; I +have, nevertheless, a natural abhorrence of them; but my champagne and +claret days are gone by, and I must submit to circumstances." + +"My poor Trotter!" said the lady. + +"Well," continued he, "it's a poor heart that never rejoiceth." He then +poured out half a tumbler of rum, and filled the glass up with water. + +"My love, will you taste it?" + +"Now, Trotter, you know that I never touch it, except when the water is +so bad that I must have the taste taken away. How is the water to-day?" + +"As usual, my dear, not drinkable." After much persuasion Mrs Trotter +agreed to sip a little out of his glass. I thought that she took it +pretty often, considering that she did not like it, but I felt so unwell +that I was obliged to go on the main-deck. There I was met by a +midshipman whom I had not seen before. He looked very earnestly in my +face, and then asked my name. "Simple," said he. "What, are you the son +of old Simple?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I, astonished that so many should know my family. + +"Well, I thought so by the likeness. And how is your father?" + +"Very well, I thank you, sir." + +"When you write to him, make my compliments, and tell him that I desired +to be particularly remembered to him;" and he walked forward, but as he +forgot to mention his own name, I could not do it. + +I went to bed very tired; Mr Trotter had my hammock hung up in the +cock-pit, separated by a canvas-screen from the cot in which he slept +with his wife. I thought this very odd, but they told me it was the +general custom on board ship, although Mrs Trotter's delicacy was very +much shocked by it. I was very sick, but Mrs Trotter was very kind. When +I was in bed she kissed me, and wished me good night, and very soon +afterwards I fell fast asleep. + + + + +Chapter VI + +Puzzled with very common words--Mrs Trotter takes care of my wardrobe--A +matrimonial duet, ending _con strepito_. + + +I awoke the next morning at daylight with a noise over my head which +sounded like thunder; I found it proceeded from holystoning and washing +down the main-deck. I was very much refreshed nevertheless, and did not +feel the least sick or giddy. Mr Trotter, who had been up at four +o'clock, came down, and directed one of the marines to fetch me some +water. I washed myself on my chest, and then went on the main-deck, +which they were swabbing dry. Standing by the sentry at the cabin-door, +I met one of the midshipmen with whom I had been in company at the Blue +Posts. + +"So, Master Simple, old Trotter and his faggot of a wife have got hold +of you--have they?" said he. I replied, that I did not know the meaning +of faggot, but that I considered Mrs Trotter a very charming woman. At +which he burst into a loud laugh. "Well," said he, "I'll just give you a +caution. Take care, or they'll make a clean sweep. Has Mrs Trotter shown +you her ankle yet?" + +"Yes," I replied, "and a very pretty one it is." + +"Ah! she's at her old tricks. You had much better have joined our mess +at once. You're not the first greenhorn that they have plucked. Well," +said he, as he walked away, "keep the key of your own chest--that's +all." + +But as Mr Trotter had warned me that the midshipmen would abuse them, I +paid very little attention to what he said. When he left me I went on +the quarter-deck. All the sailors were busy at work, and the first +lieutenant cried out to the gunner, "Now, Mr Dispart, if you are ready, +we'll breech these guns." + +"Now, my lads," said the first lieutenant, "we must slue (the part that +breeches cover) more forward." As I never heard of a gun having +breeches, I was very anxious to see what was going on, and went up close +to the first lieutenant, who said to me, "Youngster, hand me that +_monkey's tail_." I saw nothing like a _monkeys tail_, but I was so +frightened that I snatched up the first thing that I saw, which was a +short bar of iron, and it so happened that it was the very article which +he wanted. When I gave it to him, the first lieutenant looked at me, and +said, "So you know what a monkey's tail is already, do you? Now don't +you ever sham stupid after that." + +Thought I to myself, I'm very lucky, but if that's a monkey's tail it's +a very stiff one! + +I resolved to learn the names of everything as fast as I could, that I +might be prepared; so I listened attentively to what was said; but I +soon became quite confused, and despaired of remembering anything. + +"How is this to be finished off, sir?" inquired a sailor of the +boatswain. + +"Why, I beg leave to hint to you, sir, in the most delicate manner in +the world," replied the boatswain, "that it must be with a +_double-wall_--and be d----d to you--don't you know that yet? Captain +of the foretop," said he, "up on your _horses_, and take your _stirrups_ +up three inches."--"Ay, ay, sir." (I looked and looked, but I could see +no horses.) + +"Mr Chucks," said the first lieutenant to the boatswain, "what blocks +have we below--not on charge?" + +"Let me see, sir, I've one _sister_, t'other we split in half the other +day, and I think I have a couple of _monkeys_ down in the store-room.--I +say, you Smith, pass that brace through the _bull's eye,_ and take the +_sheepshank_ out before you come down." + +And then he asked the first lieutenant whether something should not be +fitted with a _mouse_ or only a _Turk's head_--told him the _goose-neck_ +must be spread out by the armourer as soon as the forge was up. In +short, what with _dead eyes_ and _shrouds, cats_ and _cat-blocks, +dolphins_ and _dolphin-strikers, whips_ and _puddings_, I was so puzzled +with what I heard, that I was about to leave the deck in absolute +despair. + +"And, Mr Chucks, recollect this afternoon that you _bleed_ all the +_buoys_." + +Bleed the boys, thought I, what can that be for? at all events, the +surgeon appears to be the proper person to perform that operation. + +This last incomprehensible remark drove me off the deck, and I retreated +to the cock-pit, where I found Mrs Trotter. "Oh, my dear!" said she, "I +am glad you are come, as I wish to put your clothes in order. Have you a +list of them--where is your key?" I replied that I had not a list, and I +handed her the key, although I did not forget the caution of the +midshipman; yet I considered that there could be no harm in her looking +over my clothes when I was present. She unlocked my chest, and pulled +everything out, and then commenced telling me what were likely to be +useful and what were not. + +"Now these worsted stockings," she said, "will be very comfortable in +cold weather, and in the summer time these brown cotton socks will be +delightfully cool, and you have enough of each to last you till you +outgrow them; but as for these fine cotton stockings, they are of no +use--only catch the dirt when the decks are swept, and always look +untidy. I wonder how they could be so foolish as to send them; nobody +wears them on board ship nowadays. They are only fit for women--I wonder +if they would fit me." + +She turned her chair away, and put on one of my stockings, laughing the +whole of the time. Then she turned round to me and showed me how nicely +they fitted her. "Bless you, Mr Simple, it's well that Trotter is in the +hold, he'd be so jealous--do you know what these stockings cost? They +are of no use to you, and they fit me. I will speak to Trotter, and take +them off your hands." I replied, that I could not think of selling them, +and as they were of no use to me and fitted her, I begged that she would +accept of the dozen pairs. At first she positively refused, but as I +pressed her, she at last consented, and I was very happy to give them to +her as she was very kind to me, and I thought, with her husband, that +she was a very charming woman. + +We had beef-steaks and onions for dinner that day, but I could not bear +the smell of the onions. Mr Trotter came down very cross, because the +first lieutenant had found fault with him. He swore that he would cut +the service--that he had only remained to oblige the captain, who said +that he would sooner part with his right arm, and that he would demand +satisfaction of the first lieutenant as soon as he could obtain his +discharge. Mrs Trotter did all she could to pacify him, reminded him +that he had the protection of Lord this and Sir Thomas that, who would +see him righted; but in vain. The first lieutenant had told him, he +said, that he was not worth his salt, and blood only could wipe away the +insult. He drank glass of grog after glass of grog, and at each glass +became more violent, and Mrs Trotter drank also, I observed, a great +deal more than I thought she ought to have done; but she whispered to +me, that she drank it that Trotter might not, as he would certainly be +tipsy. I thought this very devoted on her part; but they sat so late +that I went to bed and left them--he still drinking and vowing vengeance +against the first lieutenant. I had not been asleep above two or three +hours when I was awakened by a great noise and quarrelling, and I +discovered that Mr Trotter was drunk and beating his wife. Very much +shocked that such a charming woman should be beaten and ill-used, I +scrambled out of my hammock to see if I could be of any assistance, but +it was dark, although they scuffled as much as before. I asked the +marine, who was sentry at the gun-room door above, to bring his lantern, +and was very much shocked at his replying that I had better go to bed +and let them fight it out. + +Shortly afterwards Mrs Trotter, who had not taken off her clothes, came +from behind the screen. I perceived at once that the poor woman could +hardly stand; she reeled to my chest, where she sat down and cried. I +pulled on my clothes as fast as I could, and then went up to her to +console her, but she could not speak intelligibly. After attempting in +vain to comfort her, she made me no answer, but staggered to my hammock, +and, after several attempts, succeeded in getting into it. I cannot say +that I much liked that, but what could I do? So I finished dressing +myself, and went up on the quarter-deck. + +The midshipman who had the watch was the one who had cautioned me +against the Trotters; he was very friendly to me. "Well, Simple," said +he, "what brings you on deck?" I told him how ill Mr Trotter had behaved +to his wife, and how she had turned into my hammock. + +"The cursed drunken old catamaran," cried he; "I'll go and cut her down +by the head;" but I requested he would not, as she was a lady. + +"A lady!" replied he; "yes, there's plenty of ladies of her +description;" and then he informed me that she had many years ago been +the mistress of a man of fortune who kept a carriage for her; but that +he grew tired of her, and had given Trotter £200 to marry her, and that +now they did nothing but get drunk together and fight with each other. + +I was very much annoyed to hear all this; but as I perceived that Mrs +Trotter was not sober, I began to think that what the midshipman said +was true. "I hope," added he, "that she has not had time to wheedle you +out of any of your clothes." + +I told him that I had given her a dozen pairs of stockings, and had paid +Mr Trotter three guineas for my mess. "This must be looked to," replied +he; "I shall speak to the first lieutenant to-morrow. In the mean time, +I shall get your hammock for you. Quarter-master, keep a good look-out." +He then went below, and I followed him, to see what he would do. He went +to my hammock and lowered it down at one end, so that Mrs Trotter lay +with her head on the deck in a very uncomfortable position. To my +astonishment, she swore at him in a dreadful manner, but refused to turn +out. He was abusing her, and shaking her in the hammock, when Mr +Trotter, who had been roused at the noise, rushed from behind the +screen. "You villain! what are you doing with my wife?" cried he, +pommelling at him as well as he could, for he was so tipsy that he could +hardly stand. + +I thought the midshipman able to take care of himself, and did not wish +to interfere; so I remained above, looking on--the sentry standing by me +with his lantern over the coombings of the hatchway to give light to the +midshipman, and to witness the fray. Mr Trotter was soon knocked down, +when all of a sudden Mrs Trotter jumped up from the hammock, and caught +the midshipman by the hair, and pulled at him. Then the sentry thought +right to interfere; he called out for the master-at-arms, and went down +himself to help the midshipman, who was faring badly between the two. +But Mrs Trotter snatched the lantern out of his hand and smashed it all +to pieces, and then we were all left in darkness, and I could not see +what took place, although the scuffling continued. Such was the posture +of affairs when the master-at-arms came up with his light. The +midshipman and sentry went up the ladder, and Mr and Mrs Trotter +continued beating each other. To this, none of them paid any attention, +saying, as the sentry had said before, "Let them fight it out." + +After they had fought some time, they retired behind the screen, and I +followed the advice of the midshipman, and got into my hammock, which +the master-at-arms hung up again for me. I heard Mr and Mrs Trotter both +crying and kissing each other. "Cruel, cruel, Mr Trotter," said she, +blubbering. + +"My life, my love, I was so jealous!" replied he. + +"D--n and blast your jealousy," replied the lady; "I've two nice black +eyes for the galley to-morrow." After about an hour of kissing and +scolding, they both fell asleep again. + +The next morning before breakfast, the midshipman reported to the first +lieutenant the conduct of Mr Trotter and his wife. I was sent for and +obliged to acknowledge that it was all true. He sent for Mr Trotter, who +replied that he was not well, and could not come on deck. Upon which the +first lieutenant ordered the sergeant of marines to bring him up +directly. Mr Trotter made his appearance, with one eye closed, and his +face very much scratched. + +"Did not I desire you, sir," said the first lieutenant, "to introduce +this young gentleman into the midshipmen's berth? instead of which you +have introduced him to that disgraceful wife of yours, and have swindled +him out of his property. I order you immediately to return the three +guineas which you received as mess-money, and also that your wife give +back the stockings which she cajoled him out of." + +But then I interposed, and told the first lieutenant that the stockings +had been a free gift on my part and that, although I had been very +foolish, yet that I considered that I could not in honour demand them +back again. + +"Well, youngster," replied the first lieutenant, "perhaps your ideas are +correct, and if you wish it, I will not enforce that part of my order; +but," continued he to Mr Trotter, "I desire, sir, that your wife leave +the ship immediately; and I trust that when I have reported your conduct +to the captain, he will serve you in the same manner. In the meantime, +you will consider yourself under an arrest for drunkenness." + + + + +Chapter VII + +Scandalum magnatum clearly proved--I prove to the captain that I +consider him a gentleman, although I had told him the contrary, and I +prove to the midshipmen that I am a gentleman myself--They prove their +gratitude by practising upon me, because practice makes perfect. + + +The captain came on board about twelve o'clock, and ordered the +discharge of Mr Trotter to be made out, as soon as the first lieutenant +had reported what had occurred. He then sent for all the midshipmen on +the quarter-deck. + +"Gentlemen," said the captain to them, with a stern countenance, "I feel +very much indebted to some of you for the character which you have been +pleased to give of me to Mr Simple. I must now request that you will +answer a few questions which I am about to put in his presence. Did I +ever flog the whole starboard watch because the ship would only sail +nine knots on a bowline?" + +"No, sir, no!" replied they all, very much frightened. + +"Did I ever give a midshipman four dozen for not having his weekly +accounts pipe-clayed; or another five dozen for wearing a scarlet watch +ribbon?" + +"No, sir," replied they all together. + +"Did any midshipman ever die on his chest from fatigue?" + +They again replied in the negative. + +"Then, gentlemen, you will oblige me by stating which of you thought +proper to assert these falsehoods in a public coffee-room; and further, +which of you obliged this youngster to risk his life in a duel?" + +They were all silent. + +"Will you answer me, gentlemen?" + +"With respect to the duel, sir," replied the midshipman who had fought +me, "I _heard_ say, that the pistols were only charged with powder. It +was a joke." + +"Well, sir, we'll allow that the duel was only a joke, (and I hope and +trust that your report is correct); is the reputation of your captain +only a joke, allow me to ask? I request to know who of you dared to +propagate such injurious slander?" (Here there was a dead pause.) "Well, +then, gentlemen, since you will not confess yourselves, I must refer to +my authority. Mr Simple, have the goodness to point out the person or +persons who gave you the information." + +But I thought this would not be fair; and as they had all treated me +very kindly after the duel, I resolved not to tell; so I answered, "If +you please, sir, I consider that I told you all that in confidence." + +"Confidence, sir!" replied the captain; "who ever heard of confidence +between a post-captain and a midshipman?" + +"No, sir," replied I, "not between a post-captain and a midshipman, but +between two gentlemen." + +The first lieutenant, who stood by the captain, put his hand before his +face to hide a laugh. "He may be a fool, sir," observed he to the +captain, aside; "but I can assure you he is a very straight, forward +one." + +The captain bit his lip, and then turning to the midshipmen, said, "You +may thank Mr Simple, gentlemen, that I do not press this matter further. +I do believe that you were not serious when you calumniated me; but +recollect, that what is said in joke is too often repeated in earnest. I +trust that Mr Simple's conduct will have its effect, and that you leave +off practising upon him, who has saved you from a very severe +punishment." + +When the midshipmen went down below, they all shook hands with me, and +said that I was a good fellow for not peaching; but, as for the advice +of the captain that they should not practise upon me, as he termed it, +they forgot that, for they commenced again immediately, and never left +off until they found that I was not to be deceived any longer. + +I had not been ten minutes in the berth, before they began their remarks +upon me. One said that I looked like a hardy fellow, and asked me +whether I could not bear a great deal of sleep. + +I replied that I could, I dare say, if it was necessary for the good of +the service; at which they laughed, and I supposed that I had said a +good thing. + +"Why here's Tomkins," said the midshipman; "he'll show you how to +perform that part of your duty. He inherits it from his father, who was +a marine officer. He can snore for fourteen hours on a stretch without +once turning round in his hammock, and finish his nap on the chest +during the whole of the day, except meal-times." + +But Tomkins defended himself, by saying, that "some people were very +quick in doing things, and others were very slow; that he was one of the +slow ones, and that he did not in reality obtain more refreshment from +his long naps than other people did in short ones, because he slept much +slower than they did." + +This ingenious argument was, however, overruled _nem. con._, as it was +proved that he ate pudding faster than any one in the mess. + +The postman came on board with the letters, and put his head into the +midshipman's berth. I was very anxious to have one from home, but I was +disappointed. Some had letters and some had not. Those who had not, +declared that their parents were very undutiful, and that they would cut +them off with a shilling; and those who had letters, after they had read +them, offered them for sale to the others, usually at half-price. I +could not imagine why they sold, or why the others bought them; but they +did do so; and one that was full of good advice was sold three times, +from which circumstance I was inclined to form a better opinion of the +morals of my companions. The lowest-priced letters sold, were those +written by sisters. I was offered one for a penny, but I declined +buying, as I had plenty of sisters of my own. Directly I made that +observation, they immediately inquired all their names and ages, and +whether they were pretty or not. When I had informed them, they +quarrelled to whom they should belong. One would have Lucy, and another +took Mary; but there was a great dispute about Ellen, as I had said that +she was the prettiest of the whole. At last they agreed to put her up to +auction, and she was knocked down to a master's mate of the name of +O'Brien, who bid seventeen shillings and a bottle of rum. They requested +that I would write home to give their love to my sisters, and tell them +how they had been disposed of, which I thought very strange; but I ought +to have been flattered at the price bid for Ellen, as I repeatedly have +since been witness to a very pretty sister being sold for a glass of +grog. + +I mentioned the reason why I was so anxious for a letter, viz., because +I wanted to buy my dirk and cocked hat; upon which they told me that +there was no occasion for my spending my money, as, by the regulations +of the service, the purser's steward served them out to all the officers +who applied for them. As I knew where the purser's steward's room was, +having seen it when down in the cock-pit with the Trotters, I went down +immediately. "Mr Purser's Steward," said I, "let me have a cocked hat +and a dirk immediately." + +"Very good, sir," replied he, and he wrote an order upon a slip of +paper, which he handed to me. "There is the order for it, sir; but the +cocked hats are kept in the chest up in the main-top; and as for the +dirk, you must apply to the butcher, who has them under his charge." + +I went up with the order, and thought I would first apply for the dirk; +so I inquired for the butcher, whom I found sitting in the sheep-pen +with the sheep, mending his trousers. In reply to my demand, he told me +that he had not the key of the store-room, which was under the charge of +one of the corporals of marines. + +I inquired who, and he said, "Cheeks [1] the marine." + +I went everywhere about the ship, inquiring for Cheeks the marine, but +could not find him. Some said that they believed he was in the fore-top, +standing sentry over the wind, that it might not change; others, that he +was in the galley, to prevent the midshipmen from soaking their biscuit +in the captain's dripping-pan. At last, I inquired of some of the women +who were standing between the guns on the main-deck, and one of them +answered that it was no use looking for him among them, as they all had +husbands, and Cheeks was a _widows man._[2] + +As I could not find the marine, I thought I might as well go for my +cocked hat, and get my dirk afterwards. I did not much like going up the +rigging, because I was afraid of turning giddy, and if I fell overboard +I could not swim; but one of the midshipmen offered to accompany me, +stating that I need not be afraid, if I fell overboard, of sinking to +the bottom, as if I was giddy, my head, at all events, _would swim_; so +I determined to venture. I climbed up very near to the main-top, but not +without missing the little ropes very often, and grazing the skin of my +shins. Then I came to large ropes stretched out from the mast, so that +you must climb them with your head backwards. The midshipman told me +these were called the cat-harpings, because they were so difficult to +climb, that a cat would expostulate if ordered to go out by them. I was +afraid to venture, and then he proposed that I should go through +lubber's hole, which he said had been made for people like me. I agreed +to attempt it, as it appeared more easy, and at last arrived, quite out +of breath, and very happy to find myself in the main-top. + +The captain of the main-top was there with two other sailors. The +midshipman introduced me very politely:--"Mr Jenkins--Mr Simple, +midshipman,--Mr Simple, Mr Jenkins, captain of the main-top. Mr Jenkins, +Mr Simple has come up with an order for a cocked hat." The captain of +the top replied that he was very sorry that he had not one in store, but +the last had been served out to the captain's monkey. This was very +provoking. The captain of the top then asked me if I was ready with my +_footing_. + +I replied, "Not very, for I had lost it two or three times when coming +up." He laughed and replied, that I should lose it altogether before I +went down; and that I must _hand_ it out. "_Hand_ out my _footing_!" +said I, puzzled, and appealing to the midshipman; "what does he mean?" +"He means that you must fork out a seven-shilling bit." I was just as +wise as ever, and stared very much; when Mr Jenkins desired the other +men to get half a dozen _foxes_ and make a _spread eagle_ of me, unless +he had his parkisite. I never should have found out what it all meant, +had not the midshipman, who laughed till he cried, at last informed me +that it was the custom to give the men something to drink the first time +that I came aloft, and that if I did not, they would tie me up to the +rigging. + +Having no money in my pocket, I promised to pay them as soon as I went +below; but Mr Jenkins would not trust me. I then became very angry, and +inquired of him "if he doubted my honour." He replied, "Not in the +least, but that he must have the seven shillings before I went below." +"Why, sir," said I, "do you know whom you are speaking to? I am an +officer and a gentleman. Do you know who my grandfather is?" + +"O yes," replied he, "very well." + +"Then, who is he, sir?" replied I very angrily. + +"Who is he! why he's the _Lord knows who_." + +"No," replied I, "that's not his name; he is Lord Privilege." (I was +very much surprised that he knew that my grandfather was a lord.) "And +do you suppose," continued I, "that I would forfeit the honour of my +family for a paltry seven shillings?" + +This observation of mine, and a promise on the part of the midshipman, +who said he would be bail for me, satisfied Mr Jenkins, and he allowed +me to go down the rigging. I went to my chest, and paid the seven +shillings to one of the top-men who followed me, and then went up on the +main-deck, to learn as much as I could of my profession. I asked a great +many questions of the midshipmen relative to the guns, and they crowded +round me to answer them. One told me they were called the frigate's +_teeth_, because they stopped the Frenchman's _jaw._ Another midshipman +said that he had been so often in action, that he was called the +_Fire-eater_. I asked him how it was that he escaped being killed. He +replied that he always made it a rule, upon the first cannon-ball coming +through the ship's side, to put his head into the hole which it had +made; as, by a calculation made by Professor Innman, the odds were +32,647, and some decimals to boot, that another ball would not come in +at the same hole. That's what I never should have thought of. + +FOOTNOTES: +[1] This celebrated personage is the prototype of Mr Nobody on board of +a man-of-war. + +[B] Widows' men are imaginary sailors, borne on the books, and receiving +pay and prize-money, which is appropriated to Greenwich Hospital. + + + + +Chapter VIII + +My messmates show me the folly of running in debt--Duty carried on +politely--I become acquainted with some gentlemen of the home +department--The episode of Sholto M'Foy. + + +Now that I have been on board about a month, I find that my life is not +disagreeable. I don't smell the pitch and tar, and I can get into my +hammock without tumbling out on the other side. My messmates are +good-tempered, although they laugh at me very much; but I must say that +they are not very nice in their ideas of honour They appear to consider +that to take you in is a capital joke; and that because they laugh at +the time that they are cheating you, it then becomes no cheating at all. +Now I cannot think otherwise than that cheating is cheating, and that a +person is not a bit more honest, because he laughs at you in the +bargain. A few days after I came on board, I purchased some tarts of the +bumboat woman, as she is called; I wished to pay for them, but she had +no change, and very civilly told me she would trust me. She produced a +narrow book, and said that she would open an account with me, and I +could pay her when I thought proper. To this arrangement I had no +objection, and I sent up for different things until I thought that my +account must have amounted to eleven or twelve shillings. As I promised +my father that I never would run in debt, I considered that it was then +time that it should be settled. When I asked for it, what was my +surprise to find that it amounted to £2 14s. 6d. I declared that it was +impossible, and requested that she would allow me to look at the items, +when I found that I was booked for at least three or four dozen tarts +every day, ordered by the young gentlemen, "to be put down to Mr +Simple's account." I was very much shocked, not only at the sum of money +which I had to pay, but also at the want of honesty on the part of my +messmates; but when I complained of it in the berth, they all laughed at +me. + +At last one of them said, "Peter, tell the truth; did not your father +caution you not to run in debt?" + +"Yes, he did," replied I. + +"I know that very well," replied he; "all fathers do the same when their +sons leave them; it's a matter of course. Now observe, Peter; it is out +of regard to you, that your messmates have been eating tarts at your +expense You disobeyed your father's injunctions before you had been a +month from home; and it is to give you a lesson that may be useful in +after-life, that they have considered it their duty to order the tarts. +I trust that it will not be thrown away upon you. Go to the woman, pay +your bill, and never run up another." + +"That I certainly shall not," replied I; but as I could not prove who +ordered the tarts, and did not think it fair that the woman should lose +her money, I went up and paid the bill with a determination never to +open an account with anybody again. + +But this left my pockets quite empty, so I wrote to my father, stating +the whole transaction, and the consequent state of my finances. My +father, in his answer, observed that whatever might have been their +motives, my messmates had done me a friendly act; and that as I had lost +my money by my own carelessness, I must not expect that he would allow +me any more pocket-money. But my mother, who added a postscript to his +letter, slipped in a five-pound note, and I do believe that it was with +my father's sanction, although he pretended to be very angry at my +forgetting his injunctions. This timely relief made me quite comfortable +again. What a pleasure it is to receive a letter from one's friends when +far away, especially when there is same money in it! + +A few days before this, Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, ordered me to +put on my side-arms to go away on duty. I replied that I had neither +dirk nor cocked hat, although I had applied for them. He laughed at my +story, and sent me on shore with the master, who bought them, and the +first lieutenant sent up the bill to my father, who paid it, and wrote +to thank him for his trouble. That morning, the first lieutenant said to +me, "Now, Mr Simple, we'll take the shine off that cocked hat and dirk +of yours. You will go in the boat with Mr O'Brien, and take care that +none of the men slip away from it, and get drunk at the tap." + +This was the first time that I had ever been sent away on duty, and I +was very proud of being an officer in charge. I put on my full uniform, +and was ready at the gangway a quarter of an hour before the men were +piped away. We were ordered to the dockyard to draw sea stores. When we +arrived there, I was quite astonished at the piles of timber, the ranges +of storehouses, and the immense anchors which lay on the wharf. There +was such a bustle, every body appeared to be so busy, that I wanted to +look every way at once. Close to where the boat landed, they were +hauling a large frigate out of what they called the basin; and I was so +interested with the sight, that I am sorry to say I quite forgot all +about the boat's crew, and my orders to look after them. What surprised +me most was, that although the men employed appeared to be sailors, +their language was very different from what I had been lately accustomed +to on board of the frigate. Instead of damning and swearing, everybody +was so polite. "Oblige me with a pull of the starboard bow hawser, Mr +Jones."--"Ease off the larboard hawser, Mr Jenkins, if you please."-- +"Side her over, gentlemen, side her over."--"My compliments to Mr +Tompkins, and request that he will cast off the quarter-check."--"Side +her over, gentlemen, side her over, if you please."--"In the boat there, +pull to Mr Simmons, and beg he'll do me the favour to check her as she +swings. What's the matter, Mr Johnson?"--"Vy, there's one of them ere +midshipmites has thrown a red hot tater out of the stern-port, and hit +our officer in the eye."--"Report him to the commissioner, Mr Wiggins; +and oblige me by under-running the guess-warp. Tell Mr Simkins, with my +compliments, to coil away upon the jetty. Side her over, side her over, +gentlemen, if you please." + +I asked of a bystander who these people were, and he told me that they +were dockyard mateys. I certainly thought that it appeared to be quite +as easy to say "If you please," as "D----n your eyes," and that it +sounded much more agreeable. + +During the time that I was looking at the frigate being hauled out, two +of the men belonging to the boat slipped away, and on my return they +were not to be seen. I was very much frightened, for I knew that I had +neglected my duty, and that on the first occasion on which I had been +intrusted with a responsible service. What to do I did not know I ran up +and down every part of the dockyard until I was quite out of breath, +asking everybody I met whether they had seen my two men. Many of them +said that they had seen plenty of men, but did not exactly know mine; +some laughed, and called me a greenhorn. At last I met a midshipman, who +told me that he had seen two men answering to my description on the roof +of the coach starting for London, and that I must be quick if I wished +to catch them; but he would not stop to answer any more questions. I +continued walking about the yard until I met twenty or thirty men with +grey jackets and breeches, to whom I applied for information: they told +me that they had seen two sailors skulking behind the piles of timber. +They crowded round me, and appeared very anxious to assist me, when they +were summoned away to carry down a cable. I observed that they all had +numbers on their jackets, and either one or two bright iron rings on +their legs. I could not help inquiring, although I was in such a hurry, +why the rings were worn. One of them replied that they were orders of +merit, given to them for their good behaviour. + +I was proceeding on very disconsolately, when, as I turned a corner, to +my great delight, I met my two men, who touched their hats and said that +they had been looking for me. I did not believe that they told the +truth, but I was so glad to recover them that I did not scold, but went +with them down to the boat, which had been waiting some time for us. +O'Brien, the master's mate, called me a young sculping,[1] a word I +never heard before. When we arrived on board, the first lieutenant asked +O'Brien why he had remained so long. He answered that two of the men had +left the boat, but that I had found them. The first lieutenant appeared +to be pleased with me, observing, as he had said before, that I was no +fool, and I went down below, overjoyed at my good fortune, and very much +obliged to O'Brien for not telling the whole truth. After I had taken +off my dirk and cocked hat, I felt for my pocket-handkerchief, and found +that it was not in my pocket, having in all probability been taken out +by the men in grey jackets, whom, in conversation with my messmates, I +discovered to be convicts condemned to hard labour for stealing and +picking pockets. + +A day or two afterwards, we had a new messmate of the name of M'Foy. I +was on the quarter-deck when he came on board and presented a letter to +the captain, inquiring first if his name was "Captain Sauvage." He was a +florid young man, nearly six feet high, with sandy hair, yet very +good-looking. As his career in the service was very short, I will tell +at once, what I did not find out till some time afterwards. The captain +had agreed to receive him to oblige a brother officer, who had retired +from the service, and lived in the Highlands of Scotland. The first +notice which the captain had of the arrival of Mr M'Foy, was from a +letter written to him by the young man's uncle. This amused him so much, +that he gave it to the first lieutenant to read: it ran as follows:-- + + "Glasgow, April 25, 1--- + + "Sir,--Our much esteemed and mutual friend, Captain M'Alpine, having + communicated by letter, dated the 14th inst., your kind intentions + relative to my nephew Sholto M'Foy, (for which you will be pleased to + accept my best thanks), I write to acquaint you that he is now on his + way to join your ship, the _Diomede_, and will arrive, God + willing, twenty-six hours after the receipt of this letter. + + "As I have been given to understand by those who have some + acquaintance with the service of the king, that his equipment as an + officer will be somewhat expensive, I have considered it but fair to + ease your mind as to any responsibility on that score, and have + therefore enclosed the half of a Bank of England note for ten pounds + sterling, No. 3742, the other half of which will be duly forwarded in + a frank promised to me the day after to-morrow. I beg you will make + the necessary purchases, and apply the balance, should there be any, + to his mess account, or any other expenses which you may consider + warrantable or justifiable. + + "It is at the same time proper to inform you, that Sholto had ten + shillings in his pocket at the time of his leaving Glasgow; the + satisfactory expenditure of which I have no doubt you will inquire + into, as it is a large sum to be placed at the discretion of a youth + only fourteen years and five months old. I mention his age, as Sholto + is so tall that you might be deceived by his appearance, and be + induced to trust to his prudence in affairs of this serious nature. + Should he at any time require further assistance beyond his pay, which + I am told is extremely handsome to all king's officers, I beg you to + consider that any draught of yours, at ten days' sight, to the amount + of five pounds sterling English, will be duly honoured by the firm of + Monteith, M'Killop, and Company, of Glasgow. Sir, with many thanks for + your kindness and consideration, + + "I remain, your most obedient, + + "WALTER MONTEITH." + +The letter brought on board by M'Foy was to prove his identity. While +the captain read it, M'Foy stared about him like a wild stag. The +captain welcomed him to the ship, asked him one or two questions, +introduced him to the first lieutenant, and then went on shore. The +first lieutenant had asked me to dine in the gun-room; I supposed that +he was pleased with me because I had found the men; and when the captain +pulled on shore, he also invited Mr M'Foy, when the following +conversation took place. + +"Well, Mr M'Foy, you have had a long journey; I presume it is the first +that you have ever made." + +"Indeed it is, sir," replied M'Foy; "and sorely I've been pestered. Had +I minded all they whispered in my lug as I came along, I had need been +made of money--sax-pence here, sax-pence there, sax-pence every where. +Sich extortion I ne'er dreamt of." + +"How did you come from Glasgow?" + +"By the wheelboat, or steamboat, as they ca'd it, to Lunnon: where they +charged me sax-pence for taking my baggage on shore--a wee boxy nae +bigger than yon cocked-up hat. I would fain carry it mysel', but they +wadna let me." + +"Well, where did you go to when you arrived in London?" + +"I went to a place ca'd Chichester Rents, to the house of Storm and +Mainwaring, Warehousemen, and they must have another sax-pence for +showing me the way. There I waited half-an-hour in the counting-house, +till they took me to a place ca'd Bull and Mouth, and put me into a +coach, paying my whole fare: nevertheless they must din me for money the +whole of the way down. There was first the guard, and then the coachman, +and another guard, and another coachman; but I wudna listen to them, and +so they growled and abused me." + +"And when did you arrive?" + +"I came here last night; and I only had a bed and a breakfast at the twa +Blue Pillars' house, for which they extortioned me three shillings and +sax-pence, as I sit here. And then there was the chambermaid hussy and +waiter loon axed me to remember them, and wanted more siller; but I told +them as I told the guard and coachman, that I had none for them." + +"How much of your ten shillings have you left?" inquired the first +lieutenant, smiling. + +"Hoot, sir lieutenant, how came you for to ken that? Eh! it's my uncle +Monteith at Glasgow. Why, as I sit here, I've but three shillings and a +penny of it lift. But there's a smell here that's no canny; so I'll just +go up again into the fresh air." + +When Mr M'Foy quitted the gun-room they all laughed very much. After he +had been a short time on deck he went down into the midshipmen's berth; +but he made himself very unpleasant, quarrelling and wrangling with +everybody. It did not, however, last very long; for he would not obey +any orders that were given to him. On the third day, he quitted the ship +without asking the permission of the first lieutenant; when he returned +on board the following day, the first lieutenant put him under an +arrest, and in charge of the sentry at the cabin door. During the +afternoon I was under the half-deck, and perceived that he was +sharpening a long clasp-knife upon the after-truck of the gun. I went up +to him, and asked him why he was doing so, and he replied, as his eyes +flashed fire, that it was to revenge the insult offered to the bluid of +M'Foy. His look told me that he was in earnest. "But what do you mean?" +inquired I. "I mean," said he, drawing the edge and feeling the point of +his weapon, "to put it into the weam of that man with the gold podge on +his shoulder, who has dared to place me here." + +I was very much alarmed, and thought it my duty to state his murderous +intentions, or worse might happen; so I walked up on deck and told the +first lieutenant what M'Foy was intending to do, and how his life was in +danger. Mr Falcon laughed, and shortly afterwards went down on the +main-deck. M'Foy's eyes glistened, and he walked forward to where the +first lieutenant was standing; but the sentry, who had been cautioned by +me, kept him back with his bayonet. The first lieutenant turned round, +and perceiving what was going on, desired the sentry to see if Mr M'Foy +had a knife in his hand; and he had it sure enough, open, and held +behind his back. He was disarmed, and the first lieutenant, perceiving +that the lad meant mischief, reported his conduct to the captain, on his +arrival on board. The captain sent for M'Foy, who was very obstinate, +and when taxed with his intention would not deny it, or even say that he +would not again attempt it; so he was sent on shore immediately, and +returned to his friends in the Highlands. We never saw any more of him; +but I heard that he obtained a commission in the army, and three months +after he had joined his regiment, was killed in a duel, resenting some +fancied affront offered to the bluid of M'Foy. + +[Footnote 1: Peter's memory is short, p. 9.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter IX + +We post up to Portsdown Fair--Consequence of disturbing a lady at supper +--Natural affection of the pelican, proved at my expense--Spontaneous +combustion at Ranelagh Gardens--Pastry _versus_ Piety--Many are bid to +the feast; but not the halt, the lame, or the blind. + + +A few days after M'Foy quitted the ship, we all had leave from the first +lieutenant to go to Portsdown fair, but he would only allow the oldsters +to sleep on shore. We anticipated so much pleasure from our excursion, +that some of us were up early enough to go away in the boat sent for +fresh beef. This was very foolish. There were no carriages to take us to +the fair, nor indeed any fair so early in the morning; the shops were +all shut, and the Blue Posts, where we always rendezvoused, was hardly +opened. We waited there in the coffee-room, until we were driven out by +the maid sweeping away the dirt, and were forced to walk about until she +had finished, and lighted the fire, when we ordered our breakfast; but +how much better would it have been to have taken our breakfast +comfortably on board, and then to have come on shore, especially as we +had no money to spare. Next to being too late, being too soon is the +worst plan in the world. However, we had our breakfast, and paid the +bill; then we sallied forth, and went up George-street, where we found +all sorts of vehicles ready to take us to the fair. We got into one +which they called a dilly. I asked the man who drove it why it was so +called, and he replied, because he only charged a shilling. O'Brien, who +had joined us after breakfasting on board, said that this answer +reminded him of one given to him by a man who attended the hackney-coach +stands in London. "Pray," said he, "why are you called Waterman?" +"Waterman," replied the man, "vy, sir, 'cause we opens the hackney-coach +doors." At last, with plenty of whipping, and plenty of swearing, and a +great deal of laughing, the old horse, whose back curved upwards like a +bow, from the difficulty of dragging so many, arrived at the bottom of +Portsdown hill, where we got out, and walked up to the fair. It really +was a most beautiful sight. The bright blue sky, and the coloured flags +flapping about in all directions, the grass so green, and the white +tents and booths, the sun shining so bright, and the shining gilt +gingerbread, the variety of toys and the variety of noise, the quantity +of people and the quantity of sweetmeats; little boys so happy, and +shop-people so polite, the music at the booths, and the bustle and +eagerness of the people outside, made my heart quite jump. There was +Richardson, with a clown and harlequin, and such beautiful women, +dressed in clothes all over gold spangles, dancing reels and waltzes, +and looking so happy! There was Flint and Gyngell, with fellows tumbling +over head and heels, playing such tricks--eating fire, and drawing yards +of tape out of their mouths. Then there was the Royal Circus, all the +horses standing in a line, with men and women standing on their backs, +waving flags, while the trumpeters blew their trumpets. And the largest +giant in the world, and Mr Paap, the smallest dwarf in the world, and a +female dwarf, who was smaller still, and Miss Biffin, who did everything +without legs or arms. There was also the learned pig, and the +Herefordshire ox, and a hundred other sights which I cannot now +remember. We walked about for an hour or two seeing the outside of every +thing: we determined to go and see the inside. First we went into +Richardson's, where we saw a bloody tragedy, with a ghost and thunder, +and afterwards a pantomime, full of tricks, and tumbling over one +another. Then we saw one or two other things, I forget what; but this I +know, that, generally speaking, the outside was better, than the inside. +After this, feeling very hungry, we agreed to go into a booth and have +something to eat. The tables were ranged all round, and in the centre +there was a boarded platform for dancing. The ladies were there all +ready dressed for partners; and the music was so lively, that I felt +very much inclined to dance, but we had agreed to go and see the wild +beasts fed at Mr Polito's menagerie, and as it was now almost eight +o'clock, we paid our bill and set off. It was a very curious sight, and +better worth seeing than any thing in the fair; I never had an idea that +there were so many strange animals in existence. They were all secured +in iron cages, and a large chandelier with twenty lights, hung in the +centre of the booth, and lighted them up, while the keeper went round +and stirred them up with his long pole; at the same time he gave us +their histories, which were very interesting. I recollect a few of them. +There was the tapir, a great pig with a long nose, a variety of the +hiptostamass, which the keeper said was an amphibilious animal, as +couldn't live on land, and _dies_ in the water--however, it seemed to +live very well in a cage. Then there was the kangaroo with its young +ones peeping out of it--a most astonishing animal. The keeper said that +it brought forth two young ones at a birth, and then took them into its +stomach again, until they arrived at years of discretion. Then there was +the pelican of the wilderness, (I shall not forget him), with a large +bag under his throat, which the man put on his head as a night-cap: this +bird feeds its young with its own blood--when fish are scarce. And there +was the laughing hyæna, who cries in the wood like a human being in +distress, and devours those who come to his assistance--a sad instance +of the depravity of human nature, as the keeper observed. There was a +beautiful creature, the royal Bengal tiger, only three years old, what +growed ten inches every year, and never arrived at its full growth. The +one we saw, measured, as the keeper told us, sixteen feet from the snout +to the tail, and seventeen from the tail to the snout: but there must +have been some mistake there. There was a young elephant and three +lions, and several other animals which I forget now, so I shall go on to +describe the tragical scene which occurred. The keeper had poked up all +the animals, and had commenced feeding them. The great lion was growling +and snarling over the shin-bone of an ox, cracking it like a nut, when, +by some mismanagement, one end of the pole upon which the chandelier was +suspended fell down, striking the door of the cage in which the lioness +was at supper, and bursting it open. It was all done in a second; the +chandelier fell, the cage opened, and the lioness sprang out. I remember +to this moment seeing the body of the lioness in the air, and then all +was dark as pitch. What a change! not a moment before all of us staring +with delight and curiosity, and then to be left in darkness, horror, and +dismay! There was such screaming and shrieking, such crying, and +fighting, and pushing, and fainting, nobody knew where to go, or how to +find their way out. The people crowded first on one side, and then on +the other, as their fears instigated them. I was very soon jammed up +with my back against the bars of one of the cages, and feeling some +beast lay hold of me behind, made a desperate effort, and succeeded in +climbing up to the cage above, not however without losing the seat of my +trowsers, which the laughing hyæna would not let go. I hardly knew where +I was when I climbed up; but I knew the birds were mostly stationed +above. However, that I might not have the front of my trowsers torn as +well as the behind, as soon as I gained my footing I turned round, with +my back to the bars of the cage, but I had not been there a minute +before I was attacked by something which digged into me like a pickaxe, +and as the hyæna had torn my clothes, I had no defence against it. To +turn round would have been worse still; so, after having received above +a dozen stabs, I contrived by degrees to shift my position until I was +opposite to another cage, but not until the pelican, for it was that +brute, had drawn as much blood from me as would have fed his young for a +week. I was surmising what danger I should next encounter, when to my +joy I discovered that I had gained the open door from which the lioness +had escaped. I crawled in, and pulled the door to after me, thinking +myself very fortunate: and there I sat very quietly in a corner during +the remainder of the noise and confusion. I had been there but a few +minutes, when the beef-eaters, as they were called, who played the music +outside, came in with torches and loaded muskets. The sight which +presented itself was truly shocking, twenty or thirty men, women, and +children, lay on the ground, and I thought at first the lioness had +killed them all, but they were only in fits, or had been trampled down +by the crowd. No one was seriously hurt. As for the lioness, she was not +to be found: and as soon as it was ascertained that she had escaped, +there was as much terror and scampering away outside as there had been +in the menagerie. It appeared afterwards, that the animal had been as +much frightened as we had been, and had secreted herself under one of +the waggons. It was some time before she could be found. At last +O'Brien, who was a very brave fellow, went a-head of the beef-eaters, +and saw her eyes glaring. They borrowed a net or two from the carts +which had brought calves to the fair, and threw them over her. When she +was fairly entangled, they dragged her by the tail into the menagerie. +All this while I had remained very quietly in the den, but when I +perceived that its lawful owner had come back to retake possession, I +thought it was time to come out; so I called to my messmates, who, with +O'Brien were assisting the beef-eaters. They had not discovered me, and +laughed very much when they saw where I was. One of the midshipmen shot +the bolt of the door, so that I could not jump out, and then stirred me +up with a long pole. At last I contrived to unbolt it again, and got +out, when they laughed still more, at the seat of my trowsers being torn +off. It was not exactly a laughing matter to me, although I had to +congratulate myself upon a very lucky escape; and so did my messmates +think, when I narrated my adventures. The pelican was the worst part of +the business. O'Brien lent me a dark silk handkerchief, which I tied +round my waist, and let drop behind, so that my misfortunes might not +attract any notice, and then we quitted the menagerie; but I was so +stiff that I could scarcely walk. + +We then went to what they called the Ranelagh Gardens, to see the +fireworks, which were to be let off at ten o'clock. It was exactly ten +when we paid for our admission, and we waited very patiently for a +quarter of an hour, but there were no signs of the fireworks being +displayed. The fact was, that the man to whom the gardens belonged +waited until more company should arrive, although the place was already +very full of people. Now the first lieutenant had ordered the boat to +wait for us until twelve o'clock, and then return on board; and, as we +were seven miles from Portsmouth, we had not much time to spare. We +waited another quarter of an hour, and then it was agreed that as the +fireworks were stated in the handbill to commence precisely at ten +o'clock, we were fully justified in letting them off ourselves. O'Brien +went out, and returned with a dozen penny rattans, which he notched in +the end. The fireworks were on the posts and stages, all ready, and it +was agreed that we should light them all at once, and then mix with the +crowd. The oldsters lighted cigars, and fixing them in the notched end +of the canes, continued to puff them until they were all well lighted. +They handed one to each of us, and at a signal we all applied them to +the match papers, and as soon as the fire communicated we threw down our +canes and ran in among the crowd. In about half a minute, off they all +went, in a most beautiful confusion; there were silver stars and golden +stars, blue lights and Catherine-wheels, mines and bombs, Grecian-fires +and Roman-candles, Chinese-trees, rockets and illuminated mottoes, all +firing away, cracking, popping, and fizzing, at the same time. It was +unanimously agreed that it was a great improvement upon the intended +show. The man to whom the gardens belonged ran out of a booth, where he +had been drinking beer at his ease, while his company were waiting, +swearing vengeance against the perpetrators; indeed, the next day he +offered fifty pounds reward for the discovery of the offenders. But I +think that he was treated very properly. He was, in his situation, a +servant of the public, and he had behaved as if he was their master. We +all escaped very cleverly, and taking another dilly, arrived at +Portsmouth, and were down to the boat in good time. The next day I was +so stiff and in such pain, that I was obliged to go to the doctor, who +put me on the list, where I remained a week before I could return to my +duty. So much for Portsdown fair. + +It was on a Saturday that I returned to my duty, and Sunday being a fine +day, we all went on shore to church with Mr Falcon, the first +lieutenant. We liked going to church very much, not, I am sorry to say, +from religious feelings, but for the following reason:--The first +lieutenant sat in a pew below, and we were placed in the gallery above, +where he could not see us, nor indeed could we see him. We all remained +very quiet, and I may say very devout, during the time of the service; +but the clergyman who delivered the sermon was so tedious, and had such +a bad voice, that we generally slipped out as soon as he went up into +the pulpit, and adjourned to a pastry-cook's opposite, to eat cakes and +tarts and drink cherry-brandy, which we infinitely preferred to hearing +a sermon. Somehow or other, the first lieutenant had scent of our +proceedings: we believed that the marine officer informed against us, +and this Sunday he served us a pretty trick. We had been at the +pastry-cook's as usual, and as soon as we perceived the people coming +out of church, we put all our tarts and sweetmeats into our hats, which +we then slipped on our heads, and took our station at the church-door, +as if we had just come down from the gallery, and had been waiting for +him. Instead, however, of appearing at the church-door, he walked up the +street, and desired us to follow him to the boat. The fact was, he had +been in the back-room at the pastry-cook's watching our motions through +the green blinds. We had no suspicion, but thought that he had come out +of church a little sooner than usual. When we arrived on board and +followed him up the side, he said to us as we came on deck,--"Walk aft, +young gentlemen." We did; and he desired us to "toe a line," which means +to stand in a row. "Now, Mr Dixon," said he, "what was the text to-day?" +As he very often asked us that question, we always left one in the +church until the text was given out, who brought it to us in the +pastry-cook's shop, when we all marked it in our Bibles, to be ready if +he asked us. Dixon immediately pulled out his Bible where he had marked +down the leaf, and read it. "O! that was it," said Mr Falcon; "you must +have remarkably good ears, Mr Dixon, to have heard the clergyman from +the pastry-cook's shop. Now, gentlemen, hats off, if you please." We all +slided off our hats, which, as he expected, were full of pastry. +"Really, gentlemen," said he, feeling the different papers of pastry and +sweetmeats, "I am quite delighted to perceive that you have not been to +church for nothing. Few come away with so many good things pressed upon +their seat of memory. Master-at-arms, send all the ship's boys aft." + +The boys all came tumbling up the ladders, and the first lieutenant +desired each of them to take a seat upon the carronade slides. When they +were all stationed, he ordered us to go round with our hats, and request +of each his acceptance of a tart, which we were obliged to do, handing +first to one and then to another, until the hats were all empty. What +annoyed me more than all, was the grinning of the boys at their being +served by us like foot-men, as well as the ridicule and laughter of the +whole ship's company, who had assembled at the gangways. + +When all the pastry was devoured, the first lieutenant said, + +"There, gentlemen, now that you have had your lesson for the day, you +may go below." We could not help laughing ourselves, when we went down +into the berth; Mr Falcon always punished us good-humouredly, and, in +some way or other, his punishments were severally connected with the +description of the offence. He always had a remedy for every thing that +he disapproved of, and the ship's company used to call him "Remedy +Jack." I ought to observe that some of my messmates were very severe +upon the ship's boys after that circumstance, always giving them a kick +or a cuff on the head whenever they could, telling them at the same +time, "There's another tart for you, you whelp." I believe, if the boys +had known what was in reserve for them, they would much rather have left +the pastry alone. + + + + +Chapter X + +A pressgang; beaten off by one woman--Dangers at Spithead and Point--A +treat for both parties, of _pulled chicken_, at my expense--Also gin +for twenty--I am made a prisoner: escape and rejoin my ship. + + +I must now relate what occurred to me a few days before the ship sailed, +which will prove that it is not necessary to encounter the winds and +waves, or the cannon of the enemy, to be in danger, when you have +entered his Majesty's service: on the contrary, I have been in action +since, and I declare, without hesitation, that I did not feel so much +alarm on that occasion, as I did on the one of which I am about to give +the history. We were reported ready for sea, and the Admiralty was +anxious that we should proceed. The only obstacle to our sailing was, +that we had not yet completed our complement of men. The captain applied +to the port-admiral, and obtained permission to send parties on shore to +impress seamen. The second and third lieutenants, and the oldest +midshipman, were despatched on shore every night, with some of the most +trustworthy men, and generally brought on board in the morning about +half a dozen men, whom they had picked up in the different alehouses, or +grog-shops, as the sailors call them. Some of them were retained, but +most of them sent on shore as unserviceable; for it is the custom, when +a man either enters or is impressed, to send him down to the surgeon in +the cockpit, where he is stripped and examined all over, to see if he be +sound and fit for his majesty's service; and if not, he is sent on shore +again. Impressing appeared to be rather serious work, as far as I could +judge from the accounts which I heard, and from the way in which our +sailors, who were employed on the service, were occasionally beaten and +wounded; the seamen who were impressed appearing to fight as hard not to +be forced into the service, as they did for the honour of the country, +after they were fairly embarked in it. I had a great wish to be one of +the party before the ship sailed, and asked O'Brien, who was very kind +to me in general, and allowed nobody to thrash me but himself, if he +would take me with him, which he did on the night after I had made the +request. I put on my dirk, that they might know I was an officer, as +well as for my protection. About dusk we rowed on shore, and landed on +the Gosport side: the men were all armed with cutlasses, and wore pea +jackets, which are very short great-coats made of what they call +Flushing. We did not stop to look at any of the grog-shops in the town, +as it was too early, but walked out about three miles in the suburbs, +and went to a house, the door of which was locked, but we forced it open +in a minute, and hastened to enter the passage, where we found the +landlady standing to defend the entrance. The passage was long and +narrow, and she was a very tall corpulent woman, so that her body nearly +filled it up, and in her hands she held a long spit pointed at us, with +which she kept us at bay. The officers, who were the foremost, did not +like to attack a woman, and she made such drives at them with her spit, +that had they not retreated, some of them would soon have been ready for +roasting. The sailors laughed and stood outside, leaving the officers to +settle the business how they could. At last, the landlady called out to +her husband, "Be they all out, Jem?" "Yes," replied the husband, "they +be all safe gone." "Well, then," replied she, "I'll soon have all these +gone too;" and with these words she made such a rush forward upon us +with her spit, that had we not fallen back and tumbled one over another, +she certainly would have run it through the second lieutenant, who +commanded the party. The passage was cleared in an instant, and as soon +as we were all in the street she bolted us out: so there we were, three +officers and fifteen armed men, fairly beat off by a fat old woman; the +sailors who had been drinking in the house having made their escape to +some other place. But I do not well see how it could be otherwise; +either we must have killed or wounded the woman, or she would have run +us through, she was so resolute. Had her husband been in the passage, he +would have been settled in a very short time; but what can you do with a +woman who fights like a devil, and yet claims all the rights and +immunities of the softer sex? We all walked away, looking very foolish; +and O'Brien observed that the next time he called at that house he would +weather the old cat, for he would take her ladyship in the rear. + +We then called at other houses, where we picked up one or two men, but +most of them escaped, by getting out at the windows or the back doors, +as we entered the front. Now there was a grog-shop which was a very +favourite rendezvous of the seamen belonging to the merchant vessels, +and to which they were accustomed to retreat when they heard that the +pressgangs were out. Our officers were aware of this, and were therefore +indifferent as to the escape of the men, as they knew that they would +all go to that place, and confide in their numbers for beating us off. +As it was then one o'clock, they thought it time to go there; we +proceeded without any noise, but they had people on the look-out, and as +soon as we turned the corner of the lane the alarm was given. I was +afraid that they would all run away, and we should lose them; but, on +the contrary, they mustered very strong on that night, and had resolved +to "give fight." The men remained in the house, but an advanced guard of +about thirty of their wives saluted us with a shower of stones and mud. +Some of our sailors were hurt, but they did not appear to mind what the +women did. They rushed on, and then they were attacked by the women with +their fists and nails. Notwithstanding this, the sailors only laughed, +pushing the women on one side, and saying, "Be quiet, Poll;"--"Don't be +foolish, Molly;"--"Out of the way, Sukey; we a'n't come to take away +your fancy man;" with expressions of that sort, although the blood +trickled down many of their faces, from the way in which they had been +clawed. Thus we attempted to force our way through them, but I had a +very narrow escape even in this instance. A woman seized me by the arm, +and pulled me towards her; had it not been for one of the +quarter-masters I should have been separated from my party; but, just as +they dragged me away, she caught hold of me by the leg, and stopped +them. "Clap on here, Peg," cried the woman to another, "and let's have +this little midshipmite; I wants a baby to dry nurse." Two more women +came to her assistance, catching hold of my other arm, and they would +have dragged me out of the grasp of the quarter-master, had he not +called out for more help on his side, upon which two of the seamen laid +hold of my other leg, and there was such a tussle (all at my expense), +such pulling and hauling; sometimes the women gained an inch or two of +me, then the sailors got it back again. At one moment I thought it was +all over with me, and in the next I was with my own men. "Pull devil; +pull baker!" cried the women, and then they laughed, although I did not, +I can assure you, for I really think that I was pulled out an inch +taller, and my knees and shoulders pained me very much indeed. At last +the women laughed so much that they could not hold on, so I was dragged +into the middle of our own sailors, where I took care to remain; and, +after a little more squeezing and fighting, was carried by the crowd +into the house. The seamen of the merchant ships had armed themselves +with bludgeons and other weapons, and had taken a position on the +tables. They were more than two to one against us, and there was a +dreadful fight, as their resistance was very desperate. Our sailors were +obliged to use their cutlasses, and for a few minutes I was quite +bewildered with the shouting and swearing, pushing and scuffling, +collaring and fighting, together with the dust raised up, which not only +blinded, but nearly choked me. By the time that my breath was nearly +squeezed out of my body, our sailors got the best of it, which the +landlady and women of the house perceiving, they put out all the lights, +so that I could not tell where I was; but our sailors had every one +seized his man, and contrived to haul him out of the street door, where +they were collected together, and secured. + +Now again I was in great difficulty; I had been knocked down and trod +upon, and when I did contrive to get up again, I did not know the +direction in which the door lay. I felt about by the wall, and at last +came to a door, for the room was at that time nearly empty, the women +having followed the men out of the house. I opened it, and found that it +was not the right one, but led into a little side parlour, where there +was a fire, but no lights. I had just discovered my mistake, and was +about to retreat, when I was shoved in from behind, and the key turned +upon me: there I was all alone, and, I must acknowledge, very much +frightened, as I thought that the vengeance of the women would be +wreaked upon me. I considered that my death was certain, and that, like +the man Orpheus I had read of in my books, I should be torn to pieces by +these Bacchanals. However, I reflected that I was an officer in his +Majesty's service, and that it was my duty, if necessary, to sacrifice +my life for my king and country. I thought of my poor mother; but as it +made me unhappy, I tried to forget her, and call to my memory all I had +read of the fortitude and courage of various brave men, when death +stared them in the face. I peeped through the key-hole, and perceived +that the candles were re-lighted, and that there were only women in the +room, who were talking all at once, and not thinking about me. But in a +minute or two, a woman came in from the street, with her long black hair +hanging about her shoulders, and her cap in her hand. "Well," cried she, +"they've nabbed my husband; but I'll be dished if I hav'n't boxed up the +midshipmite in that parlour, and he shall take his place." I thought I +should have died when I looked at the woman, and perceived her coming up +to the door, followed by some others, to unlock it. As the door opened, +I drew my dirk, resolving to die like an officer, and as they advanced I +retreated to a corner, brandishing my dirk, without saying a word. +"Vell," cried the woman who had made me a prisoner, "I do declare I +likes to see a puddle in a storm--only look at the little +biscuit-nibbler showing fight! Come, my lovey, you belongs to me." + +"Never!" exclaimed I with indignation. "Keep off, I shall do you +mischief" (and I raised my dirk in advance); "I am an officer and a +gentleman." + +"Sall," cried the odious woman, "fetch a mop and a pail of dirty water, +and I'll trundle that dirk out of his fist." + +"No, no," replied another rather good-looking young woman, "leave him to +me--don't hurt him--he really is a very nice little man. What's your +name, my dear?" + +"Peter Simple is my name," replied I; "and I am a king's officer, so be +careful what you are about." + +"Don't be afraid, Peter, nobody shall hurt you; but you must not draw +your dirk before ladies, that's not like an officer and a gentleman--so +put up your dirk, that's a good boy." + +"I will not," replied I, "unless you promise me that I shall go away +unmolested." + +"I do promise you that you shall, upon my word, Peter--upon my honour-- +will that content you?" + +"Yes," replied I, "if every one else will promise the same." + +"Upon our honours," they all cried together; upon which I was satisfied, +and putting my dirk into its sheath, was about to quit the room. + +"Stop, Peter," said the young woman who had taken my part; "I must have +a kiss before you go." "And so must I; and so must we all," cried the +other women. + +I was very much shocked, and attempted to draw my dirk again, but they +had closed in with me, and prevented me. "Recollect your honour," cried +I to the young woman, as I struggled. + +"My honour!--Lord bless you, Peter, the less we say about that the +better." + +"But you promised that I should go away quietly," said I, appealing to +them. + +"Well, and so you shall; but recollect, Peter, that you are an officer +and a gentleman--you surely would not be so shabby as to go away without +treating us. What money have you got in your pocket?" and, without +giving me time to answer, she felt in my pocket, and pulled out my +purse, which she opened. "Why, Peter, you are as rich as a Jew," said +she, as they counted thirty shillings on the table. "Now, what shall we +have?" + +"Anything you please," said I, "provided that you will let me go." + +"Well, then, it shall be a gallon of gin. Sall, call Mrs Flanagan. Mrs +Flanagan, we want a gallon of gin, and clean glasses." + +Mrs Flanagan received the major part of my money, and in a minute +returned with the gin and wine-glasses. + +"Now, Peter, my cove, let's all draw round the table, and make ourselves +cosy." + +"O no," replied I, "take my money, drink the gin, but pray let me go;" +but they wouldn't listen to me. Then I was obliged to sit down with +them, the gin was poured out, and they made me drink a glass, which +nearly choked me. It had, however, one good effect, it gave me courage, +and in a minute or two, I felt as if I could fight them all. The door of +the room was on the same side as the fire-place, and I perceived that +the poker was between the bars, and red hot. I complained that I was +cold, although I was in a burning fever; and they allowed me to get up +to warm my hands. As soon as I reached the fire-place, I snatched out +the red-hot poker, and, brandishing it over my head, made for the door. +They all jumped up to detain me, but I made a poke at the foremost, +which made her run back with a shriek, (I do believe that I burnt her +nose.) I seized my opportunity, and escaped into the street, whirling +the poker round my head, while all the women followed, hooting and +shouting after me. I never stopped running and whirling my poker until I +was reeking with perspiration, and the poker was quite cold. Then I +looked back, and found that I was alone. It was very dark; every house +was shut up, and not a light to be seen anywhere. I stopped at the +corner, not knowing where I was, or what I was to do. I felt very +miserable indeed, and was reflecting on my wisest plan, when who should +turn the corner, but one of the quarter-masters who had been left on +shore by accident. I knew him by his pea-jacket and straw hat to be one +of our men, and I was delighted to see him. I told him what had +happened, and he replied that he was going to a house where the people +knew him and would let him in. When we arrived there, the people of the +house were very civil; the landlady made us some purl, which the +quarter-master ordered, and which I thought very good indeed. After we +had finished the jug, we both fell asleep in our chairs. I did not +awaken until I was roused by the quarter-master, at past seven o'clock, +when we took a wherry, and went off to the ship. + + + + +Chapter XI + +O'Brien takes me under his protection--The ship's company are paid, so +are the bumboat-women, the Jews, and the emancipationist after a +fashion--We go to sea--_Doctor_ O'Brien's cure for sea-sickness--One +pill of the doctor's more than a dose. + + +When we arrived, I reported myself to the first lieutenant, and told him +the whole story of the manner in which I had been treated, showing him +the poker, which I brought on board with me. He heard me very patiently, +and then said, "Well, Mr Simple, you may be the greatest fool of your +family for all I know to the contrary, but never pretend to be a fool +with me. That poker proves the contrary: and if your wit can serve you +upon your own emergency, I expect that it will be employed for the +benefit of the service." He then sent for O'Brien, and gave him a +lecture for allowing me to go with the pressgang, pointing out, what was +very true, that I could have been of no service, and might have met with +a serious accident. I went down on the main deck, and O'Brien came to +me. "Peter," said he, "I have been jawed for letting you go, so it is +but fair that you should be thrashed for having asked me." I wished to +argue the point, but he cut all argument short, by kicking me down the +hatchway; and thus ended my zealous attempt to procure seamen for his +majesty's service. + +At last the frigate was full manned; and, as we had received drafts of +men from other ships, we were ordered to be paid previously to our going +to sea. The people on shore always find out when a ship is to be paid, +and very early in the morning we were surrounded with wherries, laden +with Jews and other people, some requesting admittance to sell their +goods, others to get paid for what they had allowed the sailors to take +up upon credit. But the first lieutenant would not allow any of them to +come on board until after the ship was paid; although they were so +urgent that he was forced to place sentries in the chains with cold +shot, to stave the boats if they came alongside. I was standing at the +gangway, looking at the crowd of boats, when a black-looking fellow in +one of the wherries said to me, "I say, sir, let me slip in at the port, +and I have a very nice present to make you;" and he displayed a gold +seal, which he held up to me. I immediately ordered the sentry to keep +him further off, for I was very much affronted at his supposing me +capable of being bribed to disobey my orders. About eleven o'clock the +dockyard boat, with all the pay-clerks, and the cashier, with his chest +of money, came on board, and was shown into the fore-cabin, where the +captain attended the pay-table. The men were called in, one by one, and, +as the amount of the wages due had been previously calculated, they were +paid; very fast. The money was always received in their hats, after it +had been counted out in the presence of the officers and captain. +Outside the cabin door there stood a tall man in black, with hair +straight combed, who had obtained an order from the Port Admiral to be +permitted to come on board. He attacked every sailor as he came out; +with his money in his hat, for a subscription to emancipate the slaves +in the West Indies; but the sailors would not give him anything, +swearing that the niggers were better off than they were; for they did +not work harder by day, and had no watch and watch to keep during the +night. "Sarvitude is sarvitude all over the world, my old psalmsinger," +replied one. "They sarve their masters, as in duty bound; we sarve the +king, 'cause he can't do without us--and he never axes our leave, but +helps himself." + +"Yes," replied the straight-haired gentleman; "but slavery is a very +different thing." + +"Can't say that I see any difference; do you, Bill?" + +"Not I: and I suppose as if they didn't like it they'd run away." + +"Run away! poor creatures," said the black gentleman. "Why, if they did, +they would be flogged." + +"Flogged--heh; well, and if we run away we are to be hanged. The +nigger's better off nor we: ar'n't he, Tom?" Then the purser's steward +came out: he was what they call a bit of a lawyer,--that is, had +received more education than the seamen in general. + +"I trust, sir," said the man in black, "that you will contribute +something." + +"Not I, my hearty: I owe every farthing of my money, and more too, I'm +afraid." + +"Still, sir, a small trifle." + +"Why, what an infernal rascal you must be, to ask a man to give away +what is not his own property! Did I not tell you that I owed it all? +There's an old proverb--be just before you're generous. Now, it's my +opinion that, you are a methodistical, good-for-nothing blackguard; and +if any one is such a fool as to give you money, you will keep it for +yourself." + +When the man found that he could obtain nothing at the door, he went +down on the lower deck, in which he did not act very wisely; for now +that the men were paid, the boats were permitted to come alongside, and +so much spirits were smuggled in, that most of the seamen were more or +less intoxicated. As soon as he went below, he commenced distributing +prints of a black man kneeling in chains, and saying, "Am not I your +brother?" Some of the men laughed, and swore that they would paste their +brother up in the mess, to say prayers for the ship's company; but +others were very angry, and abused him. At last, one man, who was tipsy, +came up to him. "Do you pretend for to insinivate that this crying black +thief is my brother?" + +"To be sure I do," replied the methodist. + +"Then take that for your infernal lie," said the sailor, hitting him in +the face right and left, and knocking the man down into the cable tier, +from whence he climbed up, and made his escape out of the frigate as +soon as he was able. + +The ship was now in a state of confusion and uproar; there were Jews +trying to sell clothes, or to obtain money for clothes which they had +sold; bumboat-men and bumboat-women showing their long bills, and +demanding or coaxing for payment; other people from the shore, with +hundreds of small debts; and the sailors' wives, sticking close to them, +and disputing every bill presented, as an extortion or a robbery. There +was such bawling and threatening, laughing and crying--for the women +were all to quit the ship before sunset--at one moment a Jew was upset, +and all his hamper of clothes tossed into the hold; at another, a sailor +was seen hunting everywhere for a Jew who had cheated him,--all +squabbling or skylarking, and many of them very drunk. It appeared to me +that the sailors had rather a difficult point to settle. They had three +claimants upon them, the Jew for clothes, the bumboat-men for their mess +in harbour, and their wives for their support during their absence; and +the money which they received was, generally speaking, not more than +sufficient to meet one of the demands. As it may be supposed, the women +had the best of it; the others were paid a trifle, and promised the +remainder when they came back from their cruise; and although, as the +case stood then, it might appear that two of the parties were ill-used, +yet in the long run they were more than indemnified, for their charges +were so extravagant, that if one-third of their bills were paid, there +would still remain a profit. About five o'clock the orders were given +for the ship to be cleared. All disputed points were settled by the +sergeant of marines with a party, who divided their antagonists from the +Jews; and every description of persons not belonging to the ship, +whether male or female, was dismissed over the side. The hammocks were +piped down, those who were intoxicated were put to bed, and the ship was +once more quiet. Nobody was punished for having been tipsy, as pay-day +is considered, on board a man-of-war, as the winding-up of all incorrect +behaviour, and from that day the sailors turn over a new leaf; for, +although some latitude is permitted, and the seamen are seldom flogged +in harbour, yet the moment that the anchor is at the bows, strict +discipline is exacted, and intoxication must no longer hope to be +forgiven. + +The next day everything was prepared for sea, and no leave was permitted +to the officers. Stock of every kind was brought on board, and the large +boats hoisted and secured. On the morning after, at daylight, a signal +from the flag-ship in harbour was made for us to unmoor; our orders had +come down to cruise in the Bay of Biscay. The captain came on board, the +anchor weighed, and we ran through the Needles with a fine N.E. breeze. +I admired the scenery of the Isle of Wight, looked with admiration at +Alum Bay, was astonished at the Needle rocks, and then felt so very ill +that I went down below. What occurred for the next six days I cannot +tell. I thought that I should die every moment, and lay in my hammock or +on the chests for the whole of that time, incapable of eating, drinking, +or walking about. O'Brien came to me on the seventh morning, and said, +that if I did not exert myself I never should get well; that he was very +fond of me and had taken me under his protection, and, to prove his +regard, he would do for me what he would not take the trouble to do for +any other youngster in the ship, which was, to give me a good basting, +which was a sovereign remedy for sea-sickness. He suited the action to +the word, and drubbed me on the ribs without mercy, until I thought the +breath was out of my body, and then he took out a rope's end and +thrashed me until I obeyed his orders to go on deck immediately. Before +he came to me, I could never have believed it possible that I could have +obeyed him; but somehow or other I did contrive to crawl up the ladder +to the main-deck, where I sat down on the shot-racks and cried bitterly. +What would I have given to have been at home again! It was not my fault +that I was the greatest fool in the family, yet how was I punished for +it! If this was kindness from O'Brien, what had I to expect from those +who were not partial to me? But, by degrees, I recovered myself, and +certainly felt a great deal better, and that night I slept very soundly. +The next morning O'Brien came to me again. "It's a nasty slow fever, +that sea-sickness, my Peter, and we must drive it out of you;" and then +he commenced a repetition of yesterday's remedy until I was almost a +jelly. Whether the fear of being thrashed drove away my sea-sickness, or +whatever might be the real cause of it, I do not know, but this is +certain, that I felt no more of it after the second beating, and the +next morning when I awoke I was very hungry. I hastened to dress myself +before O'Brien came to me, and did not see him until we met at +breakfast. + +"Pater," said he, "let me feel your pulse." + +"Oh no!" replied I, "indeed I'm quite well." + +"Quite well! Can you eat biscuit and salt butter?" + +"Yes, I can." + +"And a piece of fat pork?" + +"Yes, that I can." + +"It's thanks to me then, Pater," replied he; "so you'll have no more of +my medicine until you fall sick again." + +"I hope not," replied I, "for it was not very pleasant." + +"Pleasant! you simple Simple, when did you ever hear of physic being +pleasant, unless a man prescribe for himself? I suppose you'd be after +lollipops for the yellow fever. Live and larn, boy, and thank Heaven +that you've found somebody who loves you well enough to baste you when +it's good for your health." + +I replied, "that I certainly hoped that much as I felt obliged to him, I +should not require any more proofs of his regard." + +"Any more such _striking_ proofs, you mean, Pater; but let me tell you +that they were sincere proofs, for since you've been ill I've been +eating your pork and drinking your grog, which latter can't be too +plentiful in the Bay of Biscay. And now that I've cured you, you'll be +tucking all that into your own little breadbasket, so that I'm no +gainer, and I think that you may be convinced that you never had or will +have two more disinterested thumpings in all your born days. However, +you're very welcome, so say no more about it." + +I held my tongue and ate a very hearty breakfast. From that day I +returned to my duty, and was put into the same watch with O'Brien, who +spoke to the first lieutenant, and told him that he had taken me under +his charge. + + + + +Chapter XII + +New theory of Mr Muddle remarkable for having no end to it--Novel +practice of Mr Chucks--O'Brien commences his history--There were giants +in those days--I bring up the master's _night-glass_. + + +As I have already mentioned sufficient of the captain and the first +lieutenant to enable the reader to gain an insight into their +characters, I shall now mention two very odd personages who were my +shipmates, the carpenter and the boatswain. The carpenter, whose name +was Muddle, used to go by the appellation of Philosopher Chips, not that +he followed any particular school, but had formed a theory of his own, +from which he was not to be dissuaded. This was, that the universe had +its cycle of events turned round, so that in a certain period of time +everything was to happen over again. I never could make him explain upon +what data his calculations were founded; he said, that if he explained +it, I was too young to comprehend it; but the fact was this, "that in +27,672 years everything that was going on now would be going on again, +with the same people as were existing at this present time." He very +seldom ventured to make the remark to Captain Savage, but to the first +lieutenant he did very often. "I've been as close to it as possible, +sir, I do assure you, although you find fault; but 27,672 years ago you +were first lieutenant of this ship, and I was carpenter, although we +recollect nothing about it; and 27,672 years hence we shall both be +standing by this boat, talking about the repairs, as we are now." + +"I do not doubt it, Mr Muddle," replied the first lieutenant; "I dare +say that it is all very true, but the repairs must be finished this +night, and 27,672 years hence you will have the order just as positive +as you have it now, so let it be done." + +This theory made him very indifferent as to danger, or indeed as to +anything. It was of no consequence, the affair took its station in the +course of time. It had happened at the above period, and would happen +again. Fate was fate. But the boatswain was a more amusing personage. He +was considered to be the _taughtest_ (that is, the most active and +severe) boatswain in the service. He went by the name of "Gentleman +Chucks"--the latter was his surname. He appeared to have received half +an education; sometimes his language was for a few sentences remarkably +well chosen, but, all of a sudden, he would break down at a hard word; +but I shall be able to let the reader into more of his history as I go +on with my adventures. He had a very handsome person, inclined to be +stout, keen eyes, and hair curling in ringlets. He held his head up, and +strutted as he walked. He declared "that an officer should look like an +officer, and _comport_ himself accordingly." In his person he was very +clean, wore rings on his great fingers, and a large frill to his bosom, +which stuck out like the back fin of a perch, and the collar of his +shirt was always pulled up to a level with his cheek-bones. He never +appeared on deck without his "persuader," which was three rattans +twisted into one, like a cable; sometimes he called it his Order of the +Bath, or his Tri_o_ junct_o_ in Uno; and this persuader was seldom idle. +He attempted to be very polite, even when addressing the common seamen, +and, certainly, he always commenced his observations to them in a very +gracious manner, but, as he continued, he became less choice in his +phraseology. O'Brien said that his speeches were like the Sin of the +poet, very fair at the upper part of them, but shocking at the lower +extremities. As a specimen of them, he would say to the man on the +forecastle, "Allow me to observe, my dear man, in the most delicate way +in the world, that you are spilling that tar upon the deck--a deck, sir, +if I may venture to make the observation, I had the duty of seeing +holystoned this morning. You understand me, sir, you have defiled his +majesty's forecastle. I must do my duty, sir, if you neglect yours; so +take that--and that--and that--(thrashing the man with his rattan)--you +d--d hay-making son of a sea-cook. Do it again, d--n your eyes, and I'll +cut your liver out." + +I remember one of the ship's boys going forward with a kid of dirty +water to empty in the head, without putting his hand up to his hat as he +passed the boatswain. "Stop, my little friend," said the boatswain, +pulling out his frill, and raising up both sides of his shirt-collar. +"Are you aware, sir, of my rank and station in society?" + +"Yes, sir," replied the boy, trembling, and eyeing the rattan. + +"Oh, you are!" replied Mr Chucks. "Had you not been aware of it, I +should have considered a gentle correction necessary, that you might +have avoided such an error in future; but, as you _were_ aware of it, +why then, d--n you, you have no excuse, so take that--and that--you +yelping, half-starved abortion. I really beg your pardon, Mr Simple," +said he to me, as the boy went howling forward, for I was walking with +him at the time; "but really the service makes brutes of us all. It is +hard to sacrifice our health, our night's rest, and our comforts; but +still more so, that in my responsible situation, I am obliged too often +to sacrifice my gentility." + +The master was the officer who had charge of the watch to which I was +stationed; he was a very rough sailor, who had been brought up in the +merchant service, not much of a gentleman in his appearance, very +good-tempered, and very fond of grog. He always quarrelled with the +boatswain, and declared that the service was going to the devil, now +that warrant officers put on white shirts, and wore frills to them. But +the boatswain did not care for him; he knew his duty, he did his duty, +and if the captain was satisfied, he said, that the whole ship's company +might grumble. As for the master, he said, the man was very well, but +having been brought up in a collier, he could not be expected to be very +refined; in fact, he observed, pulling up his shirt-collar--"it was +impossible to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." The master was very +kind to me, and used to send me down to my hammock before my watch was +half over. Until that time, I walked the deck with O'Brien, who was a +very pleasant companion, and taught me everything that he could, +connected with my profession. One night, when he had the middle watch, I +told him I should like very much if he would give me the history of his +life. "That I will, my honey," replied he, "all that I can remember of +it, though I have no doubt but that I've forgotten the best part of it. +It's now within five minutes of two bells, so we'll heave the log and +mark the board, and then I'll spin you a yarn, which will keep us both +from going to sleep." O'Brien reported the rate of sailing to the +master, marked it down on the log-board, and then returned. + +"So now, my boy, I'll come to an anchor on the topsail halyard rack, and +you may squeeze your thread-paper little carcass under my lee, and then +I'll tell you all about it. First and foremost, you must know that I am +descended from the great O'Brien Borru, who was king in his time, as the +great Fingal was before him. Of course you've heard of Fingal?" + +"I can't say that I ever did," replied I. + +"Never heard of Fingal!--murder! Where must you have been all your life? +Well, then, to give you some notion of Fingal, I will first tell you how +Fingal bothered the great Scotch giant, and then I'll go on with my own +story. Fingal, you must know, was a giant himself, and no fool of one, +and any one that affronted him was as sure of a bating, as I am to keep +the middle watch to-night. But there was a giant in Scotland as tall as +the mainmast, more or less, as we say when we a'n't quite sure, as it +saves telling more lies than there's occasion for. Well, this Scotch +giant heard of Fingal, and how he had beaten everybody, and he said, +'Who is this Fingal? By Jasus,' says he in Scotch, 'I'll just walk over +and see what he's made of.' So he walked across the Irish Channel, and +landed within half-a-mile of Belfast, but whether he was out of his +depth or not I can't tell, although I suspect that he was not +dry-footed. When Fingal heard that this great chap was coming over, he +was in a devil of a fright, for they told him that the Scotchman was +taller by a few feet or so. Giants, you know, measure by feet, and don't +bother themselves about the inches, as we little devils are obliged to +do. So Fingal kept a sharp look-out for the Scotchman, and one fine +morning, there he was, sure enough, coming up the hill to Fingal's +house. If Fingal was afraid before, he had more reason to be afraid when +he saw the fellow, for he looked for all the world like the Monument +upon a voyage of discovery. So Fingal ran into his house, and called to +his wife Shaya, 'My vourneen,' says he, 'be quick now; there's that big +bully of a Scotchman coming up the hill. Kiver me up with the blankets, +and if he asks who is in bed, tell him it's the child.' So Fingal laid +down on the bed, and his wife had just time to cover him up, when in +comes the Scotchman, and though he stooped low, he broke his head +against the portal. 'Where's that baste Fingal?' says he, rubbing his +forehead; 'show him to me, that I may give him a bating.' 'Whisht, +whisht!' cries Shaya, 'you'll wake the babby, and then him that you talk +of bating will be the death of you, if he comes in.' 'Is that the +babby?' cried the Scotchman with surprise, looking at the great carcass +muffled up in the blankets. 'Sure it is,' replied Shaya, 'and Fingal's +babby too; so don't you wake him, or Fingal will twist your neck in a +minute.' 'By the cross of St Andrew,' replied the giant, 'then it's time +for me to be off; for if that's his babby, I'll be but a mouthful to the +fellow himself. Good morning to ye.' So the Scotch giant ran out of the +house, and never stopped to eat or drink until he got back to his own +hills, foreby he was nearly drowned in having mistaken his passage +across the Channel in his great hurry. Then Fingal got up and laughed, +as well he might, at his own 'cuteness; and so ends my story about +Fingal. And now I'll begin about myself. As I said before, I am +descended from the great O'Brien, who was a king in his time, but that +time's past. I suppose, as the world turns round, my children's +children's posterity may be kings again, although there seems but little +chance of it just now; but there's ups and downs on a grand scale, as +well as in a man's own history, and the wheel of fortune keeps turning +for the comfort of those who are at the lowest spoke, as I may be just +now. To cut the story a little shorter, I skip down to my +great-grandfather, who lived like a real gentleman, as he was, upon his +ten thousand a year. At last he died, and eight thousand of the ten was +buried with him. My grandfather followed his father all in good course +of time, and only left my father about one hundred acres of bog, to keep +up the dignity of the family. I am the youngest of ten, and devil a +copper have I but my pay, or am I likely to have. You may talk about +_descent_, but a more _descending_ family than mine was never in +existence, for here am I with twenty-five pounds a-year, and a half-pay +of 'nothing a day, and find myself,' when my great ancestor did just +what he pleased with all Ireland, and everybody in it. But this is all +nothing, except to prove satisfactorily that I am not worth a +skillagalee, and that is the reason which induces me to condescend to +serve his Majesty. Father M'Grath, the priest, who lived with my father, +taught me the elements, as they call them. I thought I had enough of the +elements then, but I've seen a deal more of them since. 'Terence,' says +my father to me one day, 'what do you mane to do?' 'To get my dinner, +sure,' replied I, for I was not a little hungry. 'And so you shall +to-day, my vourneen,' replied my father, 'but in future you must do +something to get your own dinner: there's not praties enow for the whole +of ye. Will you go to the _say_?' 'I'll just step down and look at it,' +says I, for we lived but sixteen Irish miles from the coast; so when I +had finished my meal, which did not take long, for want of ammunition, I +trotted down to the Cove to see what a ship might be like, and I +happened upon a large one sure enough, for there lay a three-decker with +an admiral's flag at the fore. 'May be you'll be so civil as to tell me +what ship that is,' said I to a sailor on the pier. 'It's the Queen +Charlotte,' replied he, 'of one hundred and twenty guns.' Now when I +looked at her size, and compared her with all the little smacks and hoys +lying about her, I very naturally asked how old she was; he replied, +that she was no more than three years old. 'But three years old!' +thought I to myself, 'it's a fine vessel you'll be when you'll come of +age, if you grow at that rate: you'll be as tall as the top of +Bencrow,'(that's a mountain we have in our parts). You see, Peter, I was +a fool at that time, just as you are now; but by-and-by, when you've had +as many thrashings as I have had, you may chance to be as clever. I went +back to my father, and told him all I had seen, and he replied, that if +I liked it I might be a midshipman on board of her, with nine hundred +men under my command. He forgot to say how many I should have over me, +but I found that out afterwards. I agreed, and my father ordered his +pony and went to the lord-lieutenant, for he had interest enough for +that. The lord-lieutenant spoke to the admiral, who was staying at the +palace, and I was ordered on board as midshipman. My father fitted me +out pretty handsomely, telling all the tradesmen that their bills should +be paid with my first prize-money, and thus, by promises and blarney, he +got credit for all I wanted. At last all was ready: Father M'Grath gave +me his blessing, and told me that if I died like an O'Brien, he would +say a power of masses for the good of my soul. 'May you never have the +trouble, sir,' said I. 'Och, trouble! a pleasure, my dear boy,' replied +he, for he was a very polite man; so off I went with my big chest, not +quite so full as it ought to have been, for my mother cribbed one half +of my stock for my brothers and sisters. 'I hope to be back again soon, +father,' said I as I took my leave. 'I hope not, my dear boy,' replied +he: 'a'n't you provided for, and what more would you have?' So, after a +deal of bother, I was fairly on board, and I parted company with my +chest, for I stayed on deck, and that went down below. I stared about +with all my eyes for some time, when who should be coming off but the +captain, and the officers were ordered on deck to receive him. I wanted +to have a quiet survey of him, so I took up my station on one of the +guns, that I might examine him at my leisure. The boatswain whistled, +the marines presented arms, and the officers all took off their hats as +the captain came on the deck, and then the guard was dismissed, and they +all walked about the deck as before; but I found it very pleasant to be +astride on the gun, so I remained where I was. 'What do you mane by +that, you big young scoundrel?' says he, when he saw me. 'It's nothing +at all I mane,' replied I; 'but what do you mane by calling an O'Brien a +scoundrel?' 'Who is he?' said the captain to the first lieutenant. 'Mr +O'Brien, who joined the ship about an hour since.' 'Don't you know +better than to sit upon a gun?' said the captain. 'To be sure I do,' +replied I, 'when there's anything better to sit upon.' 'He knows no +better, sir,' observed the first lieutenant. 'Then he must be taught,' +replied the captain. 'Mr O'Brien, since you have perched yourself on +that gun to please yourself, you will now continue there for two hours +to please me. Do you understand, sir?--you'll ride on that gun for two +hours.' 'I understand, sir,' replied I; 'but I am afraid that he won't +move without spurs, although there's plenty of _metal_ in him.' The +captain turned away and laughed as he went into his cabin, and all the +officers laughed, and I laughed too, for I perceived no great hardship +in sitting down an hour or two, any more than I do now. Well, I soon +found that, like a young bear, all my troubles were to come. The first +month was nothing but fighting and squabbling with my messmates; they +called me a _raw_ Irishman, and _raw_ I was, sure enough, from the +constant thrashings and coltings I received from those who were bigger +and stronger than myself; but nothing lasts for ever--as they discovered +that whenever they found blows I could find back, they got tired of it, +and left me and my brogue alone. We sailed for the Toolong fleet." + +"What fleet?" inquired I. + +"Why, the Toolong fleet, so called, I thought, because they remained too +long in harbour, bad luck to them; and then we were off Cape See-see +(devil a bit could we see of them except their mast-heads) for I don't +know how many months. But I forgot to say that I got into another scrape +just before we left harbour. It was my watch when they piped to dinner, +and I took the liberty to run below, as my messmates had a knack of +forgetting absent friends. Well, the captain came on board, and there +were no side boys, no side ropes, and no officers to receive him. He +came on deck foaming with rage, for his dignity was hurt, and he +inquired who was the midshipman of the watch. 'Mr O'Brien,' said they +all. 'Devil a bit,' replied I, 'it was my forenoon watch.' 'Who relieved +you, sir?' said the first lieutenant. 'Devil a soul, sir,' replied I; +'for they were all too busy with their pork and beef.' 'Then why did you +leave the deck without relief?' 'Because, sir, my stomach would have had +but little relief if I had remained.' The captain, who stood by, said, +'Do you see those cross-trees, sir?' 'Is it those little bits of wood +that you mane, on the top there, captain?' 'Yes, sir; now just go up +there, and stay until I call you down. You must be brought to your +senses, young man, or you'll have but little prospect in the service.' +'I've an idea that I'll have plenty of prospect when I get up there,' +replied I, 'but it's all to please you.' So up I went, as I have many a +time since, and as you often will, Peter, just to enjoy the fresh air +and your own pleasant thoughts, all at one and the same time. + +"At last I became much more used to the manners and customs of +_say_-going people, and by the time that I had been fourteen months off +Cape See-see, I was considered a very genteel young midshipman, and my +messmates (that is, all that I could thrash, which didn't leave out +many) had a very great respect for me. + +"The first time that I put my foot on shore was at Minorca, and then I +put my foot into it (as we say), for I was nearly killed for a heretic, +and only saved by proving myself a true Catholic, which proves that +religion is a great comfort in distress, as Father M'Grath used to say. +Several of us went on shore, and having dined upon a roast turkey, +stuffed with plum-pudding (for everything else was cooked in oil, and we +could not eat it), and having drunk as much wine as would float a +jolly-boat, we ordered donkeys, to take a little equestrian exercise. +Some went off tail on end, some with their hind-quarters uppermost, and +then the riders went off instead of the donkeys; some wouldn't go off at +all; as for mine he would go--and where the devil do you think he went? +Why, into the church where all the people were at mass; the poor brute +was dying with thirst, and smelt water. As soon as he was in, +notwithstanding all my tugging and hauling, he ran his nose into the +holy-water font, and drank it all up. Although I thought, that seeing +how few Christians have any religion, you could not expect much from a +donkey, yet I was very much shocked at the sacrilege, and fearful of the +consequences. Nor was it without reason, for the people in the church +were quite horrified, as well they might be, for the brute drank as much +holy-water as would have purified the whole town of Port Mahon, suburbs +and all to boot. They rose up from their knees and seized me, calling +upon all the saints in the calendar. Although I knew what they meant, +not a word of their lingo could I speak, to plead for my life, and I was +almost torn to pieces before the priest came up. Perceiving the danger I +was in, I wiped my finger across the wet nose of the donkey, crossed +myself, and then went down on my knees to the priests, crying out _Culpa +mea_, as all good Catholics do--though 'twas no fault of mine, as I said +before, for I tried all I could, and tugged at the brute till my +strength was gone. The priests perceived by the manner in which I +crossed myself that I was a good Catholic, and guessed that it was all a +mistake of the donkey's. They ordered the crowd to be quiet, and sent +for an interpreter, when I explained the whole story. They gave me +absolution for what the donkey had done, and after that, as it was very +rare to meet an English officer who was a good Christian, I was in great +favour during my stay at Minorca, and was living in plenty, paying for +nothing, and as happy as a cricket. So the jackass proved a very good +friend, and, to reward him, I hired him every day, and galloped him all +over the island. But, at last, it occurred to me that I had broken my +leave, for I was so happy on shore that I quite forgot that I had only +permission for twenty-four hours, and I should not have remembered it so +soon, had it not been for a party of marines, headed by a sergeant, who +took me by the collar, and dragged me off my donkey. I was taken on +board, and put under an arrest for my misconduct. Now, Peter, I don't +know anything more agreeable than being put under an arrest. Nothing to +do all day but eat and drink, and please yourself, only forbid to appear +on the quarter-deck, the only place that a midshipman wishes to avoid. +Whether it was to punish me more severely, or whether he forgot all +about me, I can't tell, but it was nearly two months before I was sent +for to the cabin; and the captain, with a most terrible frown, said, +that he trusted that my punishment would be a warning to me, and that +now I might return to my duty. 'Plase your honour,' said I, 'I don't +think that I've been punished enough yet.' 'I am glad to find that you +are so penitent, but you are forgiven, so take care that you do not +oblige me to put you again in confinement.' So, as there was no +persuading him, I was obliged to return to my duty again; but I made a +resolution that I would get into another scrape again as soon as I +dared--" + +"Sail on the starboard bow!" cried the look-out man. + +"Very well," replied the master; "Mr O'Brien--where's Mr O'Brien?" + +"Is it me you mane, sir?" said O'Brien, walking up to the master, for he +had sat down so long in the topsail-halyard rack, that he was wedged in +and could not get out immediately. + +"Yes, sir; go forward, and see what that vessel is." + +"Aye, aye, sir," said O'Brien. "And Mr Simple," continued the master, +"go down and bring me up my night-glass." + +"Yes, sir," replied I. I had no idea of a night-glass; and as I observed +that about this time his servant brought him up a glass of grog, I +thought it very lucky that I knew what he meant. "Take care that you +don't break it, Mr Simple." "Oh, then, I'm all right," thought I; "he +means the tumbler." So down I went, called up the gunroom steward, and +desired him to give me a glass of grog for Mr Doball. The steward +tumbled out in his shirt, mixed the grog, and gave it to me, and I +carried it up very carefully to the quarter-deck. + +During my absence, the master had called the captain, and in pursuance +of his orders, O'Brien had called the first lieutenant, and when I came +up the ladder, they were both on deck. As I was ascending, I heard the +master say, "I have sent young Simple down for my night-glass, but he is +so long, that I suppose he has made some mistake. He's but half a fool." +"That I deny," replied Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, just as I put my +foot on the quarter-deck; "he's no fool." "Perhaps not," replied the +master. "Oh, here he is. What made you so long, Mr Simple--where is my +night-glass?" + +"Here it is, sir," replied I, handing him the tumbler of grog; "I told +the steward to make it stiff." The captain and the first lieutenant +burst out into a laugh for Mr Doball was known to be very fond of grog; +the former walked aft to conceal his mirth; but the latter remained. Mr +Doball was in a great rage. "Did not I say that the boy was half a +fool?" cried he to the first lieutenant. "At all events, I'll not allow +that he has proved himself so in this instance," replied Mr Falcon, "for +he has hit the right nail on the head." Then the first lieutenant joined +the captain, and they both went off laughing. "Put it on the capstan, +sir," said Mr Doball to me, in an angry voice. "I'll punish you +by-and-by." I was very much astonished; I hardly knew whether I had done +right or wrong; at all events, thought I to myself, I did for the best; +so I put it on the capstan and walked to my own side of the deck. The +captain and first lieutenant then went below, and O'Brien came aft. +"What vessel is it?" said I. + +"To the best of my belief, it's one of your bathing-machines going home +with despatches," replied he. + +"A bathing machine," said I; "why I thought that they were hauled up on +the beach." "That's the Brighton sort; but these are made not to go up +at all." + +"What then?" + +"Why, to _go down_, to be sure; and remarkably well they answer their +purpose. I won't puzzle you any more, my Peter--I'm spaking +helligorically, which I believe means telling a hell of a lie. It's one +of your ten-gun brigs, to the best of my knowledge." + +I then told O'Brien what had occurred, and how the master was angry with +me. O'Brien laughed very heartily, and told me never to mind, but to +keep in the lee-scuppers and watch him. "A glass of grog is a bait that +he'll play round till he gorges. When you see it to his lips, go up to +him boldly, and ask his pardon, if you have offended him, and then, if +he's a good Christian, as I believe him to be, he'll not refuse it." + +I thought this was very good advice, and I waited under the bulwark on +the lee-side. I observed that the master made shorter and shorter turns +every time, till at last he stopped at the capstan and looked at the +grog. He waited about half a minute, and then he took up the tumbler, +and drank about half of it. It was very strong, and he stopped to take +breath. I thought this was the right time, and I went up to him. The +tumbler was again to his lips, and before he saw me, I said, "I hope, +sir, you'll forgive me; I never heard of a night telescope, and knowing +that you had walked so long, I thought you were tired, and wanted +something to drink to refresh you." "Well, Mr Simple," said he, after he +had finished the glass, with a deep sigh of pleasure, "as you meant +kindly, I shall let you off this time; but recollect, that whenever you +bring me a glass of grog again, it must not be in the presence of the +captain or first lieutenant." I promised him very faithfully, and went +away quite delighted with my having made my peace with him, and more so, +that the first lieutenant had said that I was no fool for what I had +done. + +At last our watch was over, and about two bells I was relieved by the +midshipmen of the next watch. It is very unfair not to relieve in time, +but if I said a word I was certain to be thrashed the next day upon some +pretence or other. On the other hand, the midshipman whom I relieved was +also much bigger than I was, and if I was not up before one bell, I was +cut down and thrashed by him: so that between the two I kept much more +than my share of the watch, except when the master sent me to bed before +it was over. + + + + +Chapter XIII + +The first lieutenant prescribes for one of his patients, his +prescriptions consisting of _draughts_ only--O'Brien finishes the +history of his life, in which the proverb of "the more the merrier" is +sadly disproved--_Shipping_ a new pair of boots causes the _unshipping_ +of their owner--Walking home after a ball, O'Brien meets with an +accident. + + +The next morning I was on deck at seven bells, to see the hammocks +stowed, when I was witness to Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, having +recourse to one of his remedies to cure a mizen-top-boy of smoking, a +practice to which he had a great aversion. He never interfered with the +men smoking in the galley, or chewing tobacco; but he prevented the +boys, that is, lads under twenty or there-abouts, from indulging in the +habit too early. The first lieutenant smelt the tobacco as the boy +passed him on the quarter-deck. "Why, Neill, you have been smoking," +said the first lieutenant. "I thought you were aware that I did not +permit such lads as you to use tobacco." + +"If you please, sir," replied the mizen-top-man, touching his hat, "I'se +got worms, and they say that smoking be good for them." + +"Good for them!" said the first lieutenant; "yes, very good for them, +but very bad for you. Why, my good fellow, they'll thrive upon tobacco +until they grow as large as conger eels. Heat is what the worms are fond +of; but cold--cold will kill them. Now I'll cure you. Quarter-master, +come here. Walk this boy up and down the weather-gangway, and every time +you get forward abreast of the main-tack block, put his mouth to +windward, squeeze him sharp by the nape of the neck until he opens his +mouth wide, and there keep him and let the cold air blow down his +throat, while you count ten; then walk him aft, and when you are forward +again, proceed as before.--Cold kills worms, my poor boy, not tobacco--I +wonder that you are not dead by this time." + +The quarter-master, who liked the joke, as did all the seamen, seized +hold of the lad, and as soon as they arrived forward, gave him such a +squeeze of the neck as to force him to open his mouth, if it were only +to cry with pain. The wind was very fresh, and blew into his mouth so +strong, that it actually whistled while he was forced to keep it open; +and thus, he was obliged to walk up and down, cooling his inside, for +nearly two hours, when the first lieutenant sent for him, and told him, +that he thought all the worms must be dead by that time; but if they +were not, the lad was not to apply his own remedies, but come to him for +another dose. However, the boy was of the same opinion as the first +lieutenant, and never complained of worms again. + +A few nights afterwards, when we had the middle watch, O'Brien proceeded +with his story. + +"Where was it that I left off?" + +"You left off at the time that you were taken out of confinement." + +"So I did, sure enough; and it was with no good-will that I went to my +duty. However, as there was no help for it, I walked up and down the +deck as before, with my hands in my pockets, thinking of old Ireland, +and my great ancestor, Brien Borru. And so I went on behaving myself +like a real gentleman, and getting into no more scrapes, until the fleet +put into the Cove of Cork, and I found myself within a few miles of my +father's house. You may suppose that the anchor had hardly kissed the +mud, before I went to the first lieutenant, and asked leave to go on +shore. Now the first lieutenant was not in the sweetest of tempers, +seeing as how the captain had been hauling him over the coals for not +carrying on the duty according to his satisfaction. So he answered me +very gruffly, that I should not leave the ship. 'Oh, bother!' said I to +myself, 'this will never do.' So up I walked to the captain, and +touching my hat, reminded him that 'I had a father and mother, and a +pretty sprinkling of brothers and sisters, who were dying to see me, and +that I hoped that he would give me leave.' 'Ax the first lieutenant,' +said he, turning away. 'I have, sir,' replied I, 'and he says that the +devil a bit shall I put my foot on shore.' 'Then you have misbehaved +yourself,' said the captain. 'Not a bit of it, Captain Willis,' replied +I; 'it's the first lieutenant who has misbehaved.' 'How, sir?' answered +he, in an angry tone. 'Why, sir, didn't he misbehave just now in not +carrying on the duty according to your will and pleasure? and didn't you +serve him out just as he deserved--and isn't he sulky because you did-- +and arn't that the reason why I am not to go on shore? You see, your +honour, it's all true as I said; and the first lieutenant has misbehaved +and not I. I hope you will allow me to go on shore, captain, God bless +you! and make some allowance for my parental feelings towards the +arthers of my existence.' 'Have you any fault to find with Mr O'Brien?' +said the captain to the first lieutenant, as he came aft. 'No more than +I have with midshipmen in general; but I believe it is not the custom +for officers to ask leave to go on shore before the sails are furled and +the yards squared.' 'Very true,' replied the captain; 'therefore, Mr +O'Brien, you must wait until the watch is called, and then, if you ask +the first lieutenant, I have no doubt but you will have leave granted to +you to go and see your friends.' 'Thank'e kindly, sir,' replied I; and I +hoped that the yards and sails would be finished off as soon as +possible, for my heart was in my mouth, and I felt that if I had been +kept much longer, it would have flown on shore before me. + +"I thought myself very clever in this business, but I was never a +greater fool in my life; for there was no such hurry to have gone on +shore, and the first lieutenant never forgave me for appealing to the +captain--but of that by-and-by, and all in good time. At last I obtained +a grumbling assent to my going on shore, and off I went like a +sky-rocket. Being in a desperate hurry, I hired a jaunting-car to take +me to my father's house. 'Is it the O'Brien of Ballyhinch that you +mane?' inquired the spalpeen who drove the horse. 'Sure it is,' replied +I; 'and how is he, and all the noble family of the O'Briens?" 'All well +enough, bating the boy Tim, who caught a bit of confusion in his head +the other night at the fair, and now lies at home in bed quite +insensible to mate or drink; but the doctors give hopes of his recovery, +as all the O'Briens are known to have such thick heads.' 'What do you +mane by that, bad manners to you?' said I, 'but poor Tim--how did it +happen--was there a fight?' 'Not much of a fight--only a bit of a +skrummage--three crowners' inquests, no more.' 'But you are not going +the straight road, you thief,' said I, seeing that he had turned off to +the left. 'I've my reasons for that, your honour,' replied he; 'I always +turn away from the Castle out of principle--I lost a friend there, and +it makes me melancholy.' 'How came that for to happen?' 'All by +accident, your honour; they hung my poor brother Patrick there, because +he was a bad hand at arithmetic.' 'He should have gone to a better +school then,' said I. 'I've an idea that it was a bad school that he was +brought up in,' replied he, with a sigh. 'He was a cattle-dealer, your +honour, and one day, somehow or another, he'd a cow too much--all for +not knowing how to count, your honour,--bad luck to his school-master.' +'All that may be very true,' said I, 'and pace be to his soul; but I +don't see why you are to drag me, that's in such a hurry, two miles out +of my way, out of principle.' 'Is your honour in a hurry to get home? +Then I'll be thinking they'll not be in such a hurry to see you.' 'And +who told you that my name was O'Brien, you baste?--and do you dare to +say that my friends won't be glad to see me?' 'Plase your honour, it's +all an idea of mine--so say no more about it. Only this I know: Father +M'Grath, who gives me absolution, tould me the other day that I ought to +pay him, and not run in debt, and then run away like Terence O'Brien, +who went to say without paying for his shirts, and his shoes, and his +stockings, nor anything else, and who would live to be hanged as sure as +St Patrick swam over the Liffey with his head under his arm.' 'Bad luck +to that Father McGrath,' cried I; 'devil burn me, but I'll be revenged +upon him!' + +"By that time we had arrived at the door of my father's house. I paid +the rapparee, and in I popped. There was my father and mother, and all +my brothers and sisters (bating Tim, who was in bed sure enough, and +died next day), and that baste Father McGrath to boot. When my mother +saw me she ran to me and hugged me as she wept on my neck, and then she +wiped her eyes and sat down again; but nobody else said 'How d'ye do?' +or opened their mouths to me. I said to myself, 'Sure there's some +trifling mistake here,' but I held my tongue. At last they all opened +their mouths with a vengeance. My father commenced--'Ar'n't you ashamed +on yourself, Terence O'Brien?' 'Ar'n't you ashamed on yourself, Terence +O'Brien?' cried Father M'Grath. 'Ar'n't you ashamed on yourself?' cried +out all my brothers and sisters in full chorus, whilst my poor mother +put her apron to her eyes and said nothing. 'The devil a bit for myself, +but very much ashamed for you all,' replied I, 'to treat me in this +manner. What's the meaning of all this?' 'Haven't they seized my two +cows to pay for your toggery, you spalpeen?' cried my father. 'Haven't +they taken the hay to pay for your shoes and stockings?' cried Father +M'Grath. 'Haven't they taken the pig to pay for that ugly hat of yours?' +cried my eldest sister. 'And haven't they taken my hens to pay for that +dirk of yours?' cried another. 'And all our best furniture to pay for +your white shirts and black cravats?' cried Murdock, my brother. 'And +haven't we been starved to death ever since?' cried they all. 'Och +hone!' said my mother. 'The devil they have!' said I, when they'd all +done. 'Sure I'm sorry enough, but it's no fault of mine. Father, didn't +you send me to say?' 'Yes, you rapparee; but didn't you promise--or +didn't I promise for you, which is all one and the same thing--that +you'd pay it all back with your prize-money--and where is it? answer +that, Terence O'Brien.' 'Where is it, father? I'll tell you; it's where +next Christmas is--coming, but not come yet.' 'Spake to him, Father +M'Grath,' said my father. 'Is not that a lie of yours, Terence O'Brien, +that you're after telling now?' said Father McGrath; 'give me the +money.' 'It's no lie, Father McGrath; if it pleased you to die +to-morrow, the devil of a shilling have I to jingle on your tombstone +for good luck, bating those three or four, which you may divide between +you, and I threw them on the floor. + +"'Terence O'Brien,' said Father McGrath, 'its absolution that you'll be +wanting to-morrow, after all your sins and enormities; and the devil a +bit shall you have--take that now.' + +"'Father M'Grath,' replied I very angrily, 'it's no absolution that I'll +want from you, any how--take that now.' + +"'Then you have had your share of heaven; for I'll keep you out of it, +you wicked monster,' said Father M'Grath--'take that now.' + +"'If it's no better than a midshipman's berth,' replied I, 'I'd just as +soon stay out; but I'll creep in in spite of you--take that now, Father +M'Grath.' + +"'And who's to save your soul, and send you to heaven, if I don't, you +wicked wretch? but I'll see you d--d first--so take that now, Terence +O'Brien.' + +"'Then I'll turn Protestant, and damn the Pope--take that now, Father +M'Grath.' + +"At this last broadside of mine, my father and all my brothers and +sisters raised a cry of horror, and my mother burst into tears. Father +M'Grath seized hold of the pot of holy water, and dipping in the little +whisk, began to sprinkle the room, saying a Latin prayer, while they all +went on squalling at me. At last, my father seized the stool, which he +had been seated upon, and threw it at my head. I dodged, and it knocked +down Father M'Grath, who had just walked behind me in full song. I knew +that it was all over after that, so I sprang over his carcass, and +gained the door. 'Good morning to ye all, and better manners to you next +time we meet,' cried I, and off I set as fast as I could for the ship. + +"I was melancholy enough as I walked back, and thought of what had +passed. 'I need not have been in such a confounded hurry,' said I to +myself, 'to ask leave, thereby affronting the first lieutenant;' and I +was very sorry for what I had said to the priest, for my conscience +thumped me very hard at having even pretended that I'd turn Protestant, +which I never intended to do, nor never will, but live and die a good +Catholic, as all my posterity have done before me, and, as I trust, all +my ancestors will for generations to come. Well, I arrived on board, and +the first lieutenant was very savage. I hoped he would get over it, but +he never did; and he continued to treat me so ill that I determined to +quit the ship, which I did as soon as we arrived in Cawsand Bay. The +captain allowed me to go, for I told him the whole truth of the matter, +and he saw that it was true; so he recommended me to the captain of a +jackass frigate, who was in want of midshipmen." + +"What do you mean by a jackass frigate?" inquired I. + +"I mean one of your twenty-eight gun-ships, so called, because there is +as much difference between them and a real frigate, like the one we are +sailing in, as there is between a donkey and a racehorse. Well, the ship +was no sooner brought down to the dock-yard to have her ballast taken +in, than our captain came down to her--a little, thin, spare man, but a +man of weight nevertheless, for he brought a great pair of scales with +him, and weighed everything that was put on board. I forget his real +name, but the sailors christened him Captain Avoirdupois. He had a large +book, and in it he inserted the weight of the ballast, and of the shot, +water, provisions, coals, standing and running rigging, cables, and +everything else. Then he weighed all the men, and all the midshipmen, +and all the midshipmen's chests, and all the officers, with everything +belonging to them: lastly, he weighed himself, which did not add much to +the sum total. I don't exactly know what this was for; but he was always +talking about centres of gravity, displacement of fluid, and Lord knows +what. I believe it was to find out the longitude, somehow or other, but +I didn't remain long enough in her to know the end of it, for one day I +brought on board a pair of new boots, which I forgot to report that they +might be put into the scales, which swang on the gangway; and whether +the captain thought that they would sink his ship, or for what I can not +tell, but he ordered me to quit her immediately--so, there I was adrift +again. I packed up my traps and went on shore, putting on my new boots +out of spite, and trod into all the mud and mire I could meet, and +walked up and down from Plymouth to Dock until I was tired, as a +punishment to them, until I wore the scoundrels out in a fortnight. + +"One day I was in the dockyard, looking at a two-decker in the basin, +just brought forward for service, and I inquired who was to be the +captain. They told me that his name was O'Connor. Then's he's a +countryman of mine, thought I, and I'll try my luck. So I called at +Goud's Hotel, where he was lodging, and requested to speak with him. I +was admitted, and I told him, with my best bow, that I had come as a +volunteer for his ship, and that my name was O'Brien. As it happened, he +had some vacancies, and liking my brogue, he asked me in what ships I +had served. I told him, and also my reason for quitting my last--which +was, because I was turned out of it. I explained the story of the boots, +and he made inquiries, and found that it was all true; and then he gave +me a vacancy as master's mate. We were ordered to South America, and the +trade winds took us there in a jiffey. I liked my captain and officers +very much; and what was better, we took some good prizes. But somehow or +other, I never had the luck to remain long in one ship, and that by no +fault of mine; at least, not in this instance. All went on as smooth as +possible, until one day the captain took us on shore to a ball, at one +of the peaceable districts. We had a very merry night of it; but as luck +would have it, I had the morning watch to keep, and see the decks +cleaned, and as I never neglected my duty, I set off about three o'clock +in the morning, just at break of day, to go on board of the ship. I was +walking along the sands, thinking of the pretty girl that I'd been +dancing with, and had got about half way to the ship, when three +rapparees of Spanish soldiers came from behind a rock and attacked me +with their swords and bayonets. I had only my dirk, but I was not to be +run through for nothing, so I fought them as long as I could. I finished +one fellow, but at last they finished me; for a bayonet passed through +my body, and I forgot all about it. Well, it appears--for I can only say +to the best of my knowledge and belief--that after they had killed me, +they stripped me naked and buried me in the sand, carrying away with +them the body of their comrade. So there I was--dead and buried." + +"But, O'Brien," said I + +"Whist--hold your tongue--you've not heard the end of it. Well, I had +been buried about an hour--but not very deep it appears, for they were +in too great a hurry--when a fisherman and his daughter came along the +beach, on their way to the boat; and the daughter, God bless her! did me +the favour to tread upon my nose. It was clear that she had never trod +upon an Irishman's nose before, for it surprised her, and she looked +down to see what was there, and not seeing anything, she tried it again +with her foot, and then she scraped off the sand, and discovered my +pretty face. I was quite warm and still breathing, for the sand had +stopped the blood, and prevented my bleeding to death. The fisherman +pulled me out, and took me on his back to the house where the captain +and officers were still dancing. When he brought me in, there was a +great cry from the ladies, not because I was murdered, for they are used +to it in those countries, but because I was naked, which they considered +a much more serious affair. I was put to bed and a boat despatched on +board for our doctor; and in a few hours I was able to speak, and tell +them how it happened. But I was too ill to move when the ship sailed, +which she was obliged to do in a day or two afterwards, so the captain +made out my discharge, and left me there. The family were French, and I +remained with them for six months before I could obtain a passage home, +during which I learnt their language, and a very fair allowance of +Spanish to boot. When I arrived in England, I found that the prizes had +been sold, and that the money was ready for distribution. I produced my +certificate, and received £167 for my share. So it's come at last, +thought I. + +"I never had such a handful of money in my life; but I hope I shall +again very soon. I spread it out on the table as soon as I got home, and +looked at it, and then I said to myself, 'Now, Terence O'Brien, will you +keep this money to yourself, or send it home?' Then I thought of Father +M'Grath, and the stool that was thrown at my head, and I was very near +sweeping it all back into my pocket. But then I thought of my mother, +and of the cows, and the pig, and the furniture, all gone; and of my +brothers and sisters wanting praties, and I made a vow that I'd send +every farthing of it to them, after which Father M'Grath would no longer +think of not giving me absolution. So I sent them every doit, only +reserving for myself the pay which I had received, amounting to about +£30: and I never felt more happy in my life than when it was safe in the +post-office, and fairly out of my hands. I wrote a bit of a letter to my +father at the time, which was to this purpose:-- + + "'HONOURED FATHER,-- + Since our last pleasant meeting, at which you threw the stool at my + head, missing the pigeon and hitting the crow, I have been dead and + buried, but am now quite well, thank God, and want no absolution from + Father M'Grath, bad luck to him. And what's more to the point, I have + just received a batch of prize-money, the first I have handled since I + have served his Majesty, and every farthing of which I now send to + you, that you may get back your old cows, and the pig, and all the + rest of the articles seized to pay for my fitting out; so never again + ask me whether I am not ashamed of myself; more shame to you for + abusing a dutiful son like myself, who went to sea at your bidding, + and has never had a real good potato down his throat ever since. I'm a + true O'Brien, tell my mother, and don't mane to turn Protestant, but + uphold the religion of my country; although the devil may take Father + M'Grath and his holy water to boot. I sha'n't come and see you, as + perhaps you may have another stool ready for my head, and may take + better aim next time. + + So no more at present from your affectionate son, 'TERENCE O'BRIEN.'" + +"About three weeks afterwards I received a letter from my father, +telling me that I was a real O'Brien, and that if any one dared hint to +the contrary, he would break every bone in his body; that they had +received the money, and thanked me for a real gentleman as I was; that I +should have the best stool in the house next time I came, not for my +head, but for my tail; that Father M'Grath sent me his blessing, and had +given me absolution for all I had done, or should do for the next ten +years to come; that my mother had cried with joy at my dutiful +behaviour; and that all my brothers and sisters (bating Tim, who had +died the day after I left them) wished me good luck, and plenty more +prize-money to send home to them. + +"This was all very pleasant; and I had nothing left on my mind but to +get another ship; so I went to the port-admiral, and told him how it was +that I left my last: and he said, 'that being dead and buried was quite +sufficient reason for any one leaving his ship, and that he would +procure me another, now that I had come to life again.' I was sent on +board of the guard-ship, where I remained about ten days, and then was +sent round to join this frigate--and so my story's ended; and there's +eight bells striking--so the watch is ended too; jump down, Peter, and +call Robinson, and tell him that I'll trouble him to forget to go to +sleep again as he did last time, and leave me here kicking my heels, +contrary to the rules and regulations of the service." + + + + +Chapter XIV + +The first lieutenant has more patients--Mr Chucks the Boatswain, lets me +into the secret of his gentility. + + +Before I proceed with my narrative, I wish to explain to the reader that +my history was not written in after-life, when I had obtained a greater +knowledge of the world. When I first went to sea, I promised my mother +that I would keep a journal of what passed, with my reflections upon it. +To this promise I rigidly adhered, and since I have been my own master, +these journals have remained in my possession. In writing, therefore, +the early part of my adventures, everything is stated as it was +impressed on my mind at the time. Upon many points I have since had +reason to form a different opinion from that which is recorded, and upon +many others I have since laughed heartily at my folly and simplicity; +but still, I have thought it advisable to let the ideas of the period +remain, rather than correct them by those of dear-bought experience. A +boy of fifteen, brought up in a secluded country town, cannot be +expected to reason and judge as a young man who has seen much of life, +and passed through a variety of adventures. The reader must therefore +remember, that I have referred to my journal for the opinions and +feelings which guided me between each distinct anniversary of my +existence. + +We had now been cruising for six weeks, and I found that my profession +was much more agreeable than I had anticipated. My desire to please was +taken for the deed; and, although I occasionally made a blunder, yet the +captain and first lieutenant seemed to think that I was attentive to my +duty to the best of my ability, and only smiled at my mistakes. I also +discovered, that, however my natural capacity may have been estimated by +my family, that it was not so depreciated here; and every day I felt +more confidence in myself, and hoped, by attention and diligence, to +make up for a want of natural endowment. There certainly is something in +the life of a sailor which enlarges the mind. When I was at home six +months before, I allowed other people to think for me, and acted wholly +on the leading-strings of their suggestions; on board, to the best of my +ability, I thought for myself. I became happy with my messmates--those +who were harsh upon me left off, because I never resented their conduct, +and those who were kind to me were even kinder than before. The time +flew away quickly, I suppose, because I knew exactly what I had to do, +and each day was the forerunner of the ensuing. The first lieutenant was +one of the most amusing men I ever knew, yet he never relaxed from the +discipline of the service, or took the least liberty with either his +superiors or inferiors. His humour was principally shown in his various +modes of punishment; and, however severe the punishment was to the +party, the manner of inflicting it was invariably a source of amusement +to the remainder of the ship's company. I often thought, that although +no individual liked being punished, yet, that all the ship's company +were quite pleased when a punishment took place. He was very particular +about his decks; they were always as white as snow, and nothing +displeased him so much as their being soiled. It was for that reason +that he had such an objection to the use of tobacco. There were +spitting-pans placed in different parts of the decks for the use of the +men, that they might not dirty the planks with the tobacco-juice. +Sometimes a man in his hurry forgot to use these pans, but, as the mess +to which the stain might be opposite had their grog stopped if the party +were not found out, they took good care not only to keep a look-out, but +to inform against the offender. Now the punishment for the offence was +as follows--the man's hands were tied behind his back, and a large tin +spitting-box fixed to his chest by a strap over the shoulders. All the +other boxes on the lower deck were taken away, and he was obliged to +walk there, ready to attend the summons of any man who might wish to +empty his mouth of the tobacco-juice. The other men were so pleased at +the fancy, that they spat twice as much as before, for the pleasure of +making him run about. Mr Chucks, the boatswain, called it "the first +lieutenant's _perambulating_ spitting-pan." He observed to me one day, +"that really Mr Falcon was such an _epicure_ about his decks, that he +was afraid to pudding an anchor on the forecastle." + +I was much amused one morning watch that I kept. We were stowing the +hammocks in the quarter-deck nettings, when one of the boys came up with +his hammock on his shoulder, and as he passed the first lieutenant, the +latter perceived that he had a quid of tobacco in his cheek. "What have +you got there, my good lad--a gum-boil?--your cheek is very much +swelled." "No, sir," replied the boy, "there's nothing at all the +matter." "O there must be; it is a bad tooth, then. Open your mouth, and +let me see." Very reluctantly the boy opened his mouth, and discovered a +large roll of tobacco-leaf. "I see, I see," said the first lieutenant, +"your mouth wants overhauling, and your teeth cleaning. I wish we had a +dentist on board; but as we have not, I will operate as well as I can. +Send the armourer up here with his tongs." When the armourer made his +appearance, the boy was made to open his mouth, while the chaw of +tobacco was extracted with his rough instrument. "There now," said the +first lieutenant, "I'm sure that you must feel better already; you never +could have had any appetite. Now, captain of the afterguard, bring a +piece of old canvas and some sand here, and clean his teeth nicely." The +captain of the afterguard came forward, and putting the boy's head +between his knees, scrubbed his teeth well with the sand and canvas for +two or three minutes. "There, that will do," said the first lieutenant. +"Now, my little fellow, your mouth is nice and clean, and you'll enjoy +your breakfast. It was impossible for you to have eaten anything with +your mouth in such a nasty state. When it's dirty again, come to me, and +I'll be your dentist." + +One day I was on the forecastle with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was +very kind to me. He had been showing me how to make the various knots +and bends of rope which are used in our service. I am afraid that I was +very stupid, but he showed me over and over again, until I learnt how to +make them. Amongst others, he taught me a fisherman's bend, which he +pronounced to be the _king_ of all knots; "and, Mr Simple," continued +he, "there is a moral in that knot. You observe, that when the parts are +drawn the right way, and together, the more you pull the faster they +hold, and the more impossible to untie them; but see, by hauling them +apart, how a little difference, a pull the other way, immediately +disunites them, and then how easy they cast off in a moment. That points +out the necessity of pulling together in this world, Mr Simple, when we +wish to hold on, and that's a piece of philosophy worth all the +twenty-six thousand and odd years of my friend the carpenter, which +leads to nothing but a brown study, when he ought to be attending to his +duty." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks, you are the better philosopher of the two." + +"I am the better educated, Mr Simple, and I trust, more of a gentleman. +I consider a gentleman to be, to a certain degree, a philosopher, for +very often he is obliged, to support his character as such, to put up +with what another person may very properly fly in a passion about. I +think coolness is the great character-stick of a gentleman. In the +service, Mr Simple, one is obliged to appear angry without indulging the +sentiment. I can assure you, that I never lose my temper, even when I +use my rattan." + +"Why, then, Mr Chucks, do you swear so much at the men? Surely that is +not gentlemanly?" + +"Most certainly not, sir. But I must defend myself by observing the very +artificial state in which we live on board of a man-of-war. Necessity, +my dear Mr Simple, has no law. You must observe how gently I always +commence when I have to find fault. I do that to prove my gentility; +but, sir, my zeal for the service obliges me to alter my language, to +prove in the end that I am in earnest. Nothing would afford me more +pleasure than to be able to carry on the duty as a gentleman, but that's +impossible." + +"I really cannot see why." + +"Perhaps, then, Mr Simple, you will explain to me why the captain and +first lieutenant swear." + +"That I do not pretend to answer, but they only do so upon an +emergency." + +"Exactly so; but, sir, their 'mergency is my daily and hourly duty. In +the continual working of the ship I am answerable for all that goes +amiss. The life of a boatswain is a life of 'mergency, and therefore I +swear." + +"I still cannot allow it to be requisite, and certainly it is sinful." + +"Excuse me, my dear sir; it is absolutely requisite, and not at all +sinful. There is one language for the pulpit, and another for on board +ship, and, in either situation, a man must make use of those terms most +likely to produce the necessary effect upon his listeners. Whether it is +from long custom of the service, or from the indifference of a sailor to +all common things and language (I can't exactly explain myself, Mr +Simple, but I know what I mean), perhaps constant excitement may do, and +therefore he requires more 'stimilis,' as they call it, to make him +move. Certain it is, that common parlancy won't do with a common seaman. +It is not here as in the scriptures, 'Do this, and he doeth it' (by the +bye, that chap must have had his soldiers in tight order); but it is, +'Do this, d--n your eyes,' and then it is done directly. The order to +_do_ just carries the weight of a cannon-shot, but it wants the +perpelling power--the d--n is the gunpowder which sets it flying in the +execution of its duty. Do you comprehend me, Mr Simple?" + +"I perfectly understand you, Mr Chucks, and I cannot help remarking, and +that without flattery, that you are very different from the rest of the +warrant officers. Where did you receive your education?" + +"Mr Simple, I am here a boatswain with a clean shirt, and, I say it +myself, and no one dare gainsay it, also with a thorough knowledge of my +duty. But although I do not say that I ever was better off, I can say +this, that I've been in the best society, in the company of lords and +ladies. I once dined with your grandfather." + +"That's more than ever I did, for he never asked me, nor took the least +notice of me," replied I. + +"What I state is true. I did not know that he was your grandfather until +yesterday, when I was talking with Mr O'Brien; but I perfectly recollect +him, although I was very young at that time. Now, Mr Simple, if you will +promise me as a gentleman (and I know you are one), that you will not +repeat what I tell you, then I'll let you into the history of my life." + +"Mr Chucks, as I am a gentleman I never will divulge it until you are +dead and buried, and not then if you do not wish it." + +"When I am dead and buried, you may do as you please; it may then be of +service to other people, although my story is not a very long one." + +Mr Chucks then sat down upon the fore-end of the booms by the funnel, +and I took my place by his side, when he commenced as follows:-- + +"My father was a boatswain before me--one of the old school, rough as a +bear, and drunken as a Gosport fiddler. My mother was--my mother, and I +shall say no more. My father was invalided for harbour duty after a life +of intoxication, and died shortly afterwards. In the meantime I had +been, by the kindness of the port-admiral's wife, educated at a +foundation school. I was thirteen when my father died, and my mother, +not knowing what to do with me, wished to bind me apprentice to a +merchant vessel; but this I refused, and, after six months' quarrelling +on the subject, I decided the point by volunteering in the _Narcissus_ +frigate. I believe that my gentlemanly ideas were innate, Mr Simple; I +never, as a child, could bear the idea of the merchant service. After I +had been a week on board, I was appointed servant to the purser, where I +gave such satisfaction by my alertness and dexterity, that the first +lieutenant took me away from the purser to attend upon himself, so that +in two months I was a person of such consequence as to create a +disturbance in the gunroom, for the purser was very angry, and many of +the officers took his part. It was whispered that I was the son of the +first lieutenant, and that he was aware of it. How far that may be true +I know not, but there was a likeness between us; and my mother, who was +a very pretty woman, attended his ship many years before as a bumboat +girl. I can't pretend to say anything about it, but this I do say, Mr +Simple--and many will blame me for it, but I can't help my natural +feelings--that I had rather be the bye-blow of a gentleman, than the +'gitimate offspring of a boatswain and his wife. There's no chance of +good blood in your veins in the latter instance, whereas, in the former +you may have stolen a drop or two. It so happened, that after I had +served the first lieutenant for about a year, a young lord (I must not +mention his name, Mr Simple) was sent to sea by his friends, or by his +own choice, I don't know which, but I was told that his uncle, who was +'zeckative, and had an interest in his death, persuaded him to go. A +lord at that period, some twenty-five years ago, was a rarity in the +service, and they used to salute him when he came on board. The +consequence was, that the young lord must have a servant to himself, +although all the rest of the midshipmen had but one servant between +them. The captain inquired who was the best boy in the ship, and the +purser, to whom he appealed, recommended me. Accordingly, much to the +annoyance of the first lieutenant (for first lieutenants in those days +did not assume as they do now, not that I refer to Mr Falcon, who is a +gentleman), I was immediately surrendered to his lordship. I had a very +easy, comfortable life of it--I did little or nothing; if inquired for +when all hands were turned up, I was cleaning his lordship's boots, or +brushing his lordship's clothes, and there was nothing to be said when +his lordship's name was mentioned. We went to the Mediterranean (because +his lordship's mamma wished it), and we had been there about a year, +when his lordship ate so many grapes that he was seized with a +dysentery. He was ill for three weeks, and then he requested to be sent +to Malta in a transport going to Gibraltar, or rather to the Barbary +coast, for bullocks. He became worse every day, and made his will, +leaving me all his effects on board, which I certainly deserved for the +kindness with which I had nursed him. Off Malta we fell in with a +xebeque, bound to Civita Vecchia, and the captain of the transport, +anxious to proceed, advised our going on board of her, as the wind was +light and contrary, and these Mediterranean vessels sailed better on a +wind than the transport. My master, who was now sinking fast, consented, +and we changed our ships. The next day he died, and a gale of wind came +on, which prevented us from gaining the port for several days, and the +body of his lordship not only became so offensive, but affected the +superstition of the Catholic sailors so much, that it was hove +overboard. None of the people could speak English, nor could I speak +Maltese; they had no idea who we were, and I had plenty of time for +cogitation. I had often thought what a fine thing it was to be a lord, +and as often wished that I had been born one. The wind was still against +us, when a merchant vessel ran down to us, that had left Civita Vecchia +for Gibraltar. I desired the captain of the xebeque to make a signal of +distress, or rather I did myself, and the vessel, which proved to be +English, bore down to us. + +"I manned the boat to go on board, and the idea came into my head, that, +although they might refuse to take me, they would not refuse a lord. I +put on the midshipman's uniform belonging to his lordship (but then +certainly belonging to me), and went alongside of the merchant vessel; I +told them that I had left my ship for the benefit of my health, and +wanted a passage to Gibraltar, on my way home. My title, and immediate +acceptance of the terms demanded for my passage, was sufficient. My +property was brought from the xebeque; and, of course, as they could not +speak English, they could not contradict, even if they suspected. Here, +Mr Simple, I must acknowledge a slight flaw in my early history, which I +impart to you in confidence; or otherwise I should not have been able to +prove that I was correct in asserting that I had dined with your +grandfather. But the temptation was too strong, and I could not resist. +Think yourself, Mr Simple, after having served as a ship's boy clouted +here, kicked there, damned by one, and sent to hell by another--to find +myself treated with such respect and deference, and my lorded this and +my lorded that, every minute of the day. During my passage to Gibraltar, +I had plenty of time for arranging my plans. I hardly need say that my +lord's _kit_ was valuable; and what was better, they exactly fitted me. +I also had his watches and trinkets, and many other things, besides a +bag of dollars. However, they were honestly mine; the only thing that I +took was his name, which he had no further occasion for, poor fellow! +But it's no use defending what was wrong--it was dishonest, and there's +an end of it. + +"Now observe, Mr Simple, how one thing leads to another. I declare to +you, that my first idea of making use of his lordship's name, was to +procure a passage to Gibraltar. I then was undecided how to act; but, as +I had charge of his papers and letters to his mother and guardian, I +think--indeed I am almost sure--that I should have laid aside my dignity +and midshipman's dress, and applied for a passage home to the +commissioner of the yard. But it was fated to be otherwise; for the +master of the transport went on shore to report and obtain pratique, and +he told them everywhere that young Lord A---- was a passenger with him, +going to England for the benefit of his health. In less than +half-an-hour, off came the commissioner's boat, and another boat from +the governor, requesting the honour of my company, and that I would take +a bed at their houses during my stay. What could I do? I began to be +frightened; but I was more afraid to confess that I was an impostor, for +I am sure the master of the transport alone would have kicked me +overboard, if I had let him know that he had been so confounded polite +to a ship's boy. So I blushed half from modesty and half from guilt, and +accepted the invitation of the governor; sending a polite verbal refusal +to the commissioner, upon the plea of there being no paper or pens on +board. I had so often accompanied my late master, that I knew very well +how to conduct myself, and had borrowed a good deal of his air and +appearance--indeed, I had a natural taste for gentility. I could write +and read; not perhaps so well as I ought to have done, considering the +education I had received, but still quite well enough for a lord, and +indeed much better than my late master. I knew his signature well +enough, although the very idea of being forced to use it made me +tremble. However, the die was cast. I ought to observe, that in one +point we were not unlike--both had curly light hair and blue eyes; in +other points there was no resemblance. I was by far the better-looking +chap of the two; and as we had been up the Mediterranean for two years, +I had no fear of any doubt as to my identity until I arrived in England. +Well, Mr Simple, I dressed myself very carefully, put on my chains and +rings, and a little perfume on my handkerchief, and accompanied the +aide-de-camp to the governor's, where I was asked after my mother, Lady +----, and my uncle, my guardian, and a hundred other questions. At +first I was much confused, which was attributed to bashfulness; and so +it was, but not of the right sort. But before the day was over, I had +become so accustomed to be called 'my lord,' and to my situation, that I +was quite at my ease, and began to watch the motions and behaviour of +the company, that I might regulate my comportment by that of good +society. I remained at Gibraltar for a fortnight, and then was offered a +passage in a transport ordered to Portsmouth. Being an officer, of +course it was free to a certain extent. On my passage to England, I +again made up my mind that I would put off my dress and title as soon as +I could escape from observation; but I was prevented as before. The +port-admiral sent off to request the pleasure of my company to dinner. I +dared not refuse; and there I was, my lord, as before, courted and +feasted by everybody. Tradesmen called to request the honour of my +lordship's custom; my table at the hotel was covered with cards of all +descriptions; and, to confess the truth, I liked my situation so much, +and had been so accustomed to it, that I now began to dislike the idea +that one day or other I must resign it, which I determined to do as soon +as I quitted the place. My bill at the hotel was very extravagant, and +more than I could pay: but the master said it was not of the least +consequence; that of course his lordship had not provided himself with +cash, just coming from foreign parts, and offered to supply me with +money if I required it. This, I will say, I was honest enough to refuse. +I left my cards, P.P.C., as they do, Mr Simple, in all well-regulated +society, and set off in the mail for London, where I fully resolved to +drop my title, and to proceed to Scotland to his lordship's mother, with +the mournful intelligence of his death--for you see, Mr Simple, no one +knew that his lordship was dead. The captain of the transport had put +him into the xebeque alive, and the vessel bound to Gibraltar had +received him, as they imagined. The captain of the frigate had very soon +afterwards advices from Gibraltar, stating his lordship's recovery and +return to England. Well, I had not been in the coach more than five +minutes, when who should get in but a gentleman whom I had met at the +port-admiral's; besides which the coachman and others knew me very well. +When I arrived in London (I still wore my midshipman's uniform), I went +to an hotel recommended to me, as I afterwards found out, the most +fashionable in town, my title still following me. I now determined to +put off my uniform, and dress in plain clothes--my farce was over. I +went to bed that night, and the next morning made my appearance in a +suit of mufti, making inquiry of the waiter which was the best +conveyance to Scotland. + +"'Post chay and four, my lord. At what time shall I order it?' + +"'O,' replied I, 'I am not sure that I shall go tomorrow.' + +"Just at this moment in came the master of the hotel, with the _Morning +Post_ in his hand, making me a low bow, and pointing to the insertion of +my arrival at his hotel among the fashionables. This annoyed me; and now +that I found how difficult it was to get rid of my title, I became +particularly anxious to be William Chucks, as before. Before +twelve o'clock, three or four gentlemen were ushered into my +sitting-room, who observing my arrival in that damn'd _Morning Post_, +came to pay their respects; and before the day was over I was invited +and re-invited by a dozen people. I found that I could not retreat, and +I went away with the stream, as I did before at Gibraltar and +Portsmouth. For three weeks I was everywhere; and if I found it +agreeable at Portsmouth, how much more so in London! But I was not +happy, Mr Simple, because I was a cheat, every moment expecting to be +found out. But it really was a nice thing to be a lord. + +"At last the play was over. I had been enticed by some young men into a +gambling-house, where they intended to fleece me; but, for the first +night, they allowed me to win, I think, about £300. I was quite +delighted with my success, and had agreed to meet them the next evening; +but when I was at breakfast, with my legs crossed, reading the _Morning +Post_, who should come to see me but my guardian uncle. He knew his +nephew's features too well to be deceived; and my not recognising him +proved at once that I was an impostor. You must allow me to hasten over +the scene which took place--the wrath of the uncle, the confusion in the +hotel, the abuse of the waiters, the police officer, and being dragged +into a hackney coach to Bow-street. There I was examined and confessed +all. The uncle was so glad to find that his nephew was really dead, that +he felt no resentment towards me; and as, after all, I had only assumed +a name, but had cheated nobody, except the landlord at Portsmouth, I was +sent on board the tender off the Tower, to be drafted into a man-of-war. +As for my £300, my clothes, &c., I never heard any more of them; they +were seized, I presume, by the landlord of the hotel for my bill, and +very handsomely he must have paid himself. I had two rings on my +fingers, and a watch in my pocket, when I was sent on board the tender, +and I stowed them away very carefully. I had also a few pounds in my +purse. I was sent round to Plymouth, where I was drafted into a frigate. +After I had been there some time, I turned the watch and rings into +money, and bought myself a good kit of clothes; for I could not bear to +be dirty. I was put into the mizen-top, and no one knew that I had been +a lord." + +"You found some difference, I should think, in your situation?" + +"Yes, I did, Mr Simple; but I was much happier. I could not forget the +ladies, and the dinners, and the opera, and all the delights of London, +beside the respect paid to my title, and I often sighed for them; but +the police officer and Bow-street also came to my recollection, and I +shuddered at the remembrance. It had, however, one good effect; I +determined to be an officer if I could, and learnt my duty, and worked +my way up to quarter-master, and thence to boatswain--and I know my +duty, Mr Simple. But I've been punished for my folly ever since. I +formed ideas above my station in life, and cannot help longing to be a +gentleman. It's a bad thing for a man to have ideas above his station." + +"You certainly must find some difference between the company in London +and that of the warrant officers." + +"It's many years back now, sir; but I can't get over the feeling. I +can't 'sociate with them at all. A man may have the feelings of a +gentleman, although in a humble capacity; but how can I be intimate with +such people as Mr Dispart or Mr Muddle, the carpenter? All very well in +their way, Mr Simple, but what can you expect from officers who boil +their 'tators in a cabbage-net hanging in the ship's coppers, when they +know that there is one-third of a stove allowed them to cook their +victuals on?" + + + + +Chapter XV + +I go on service and am made prisoner by an old lady, who, not able to +obtain my hand, takes part of my finger as a token--O'Brien rescues me-- +A lee shore and narrow escape. + + +Two or three days after this conversation with Mr Chucks, the captain +ran the frigate in shore, and when within five miles we discovered two +vessels under the land. We made all sail in chase, and cut them off from +escaping round a sandy point which they attempted to weather. Finding +that they could not effect their purpose, they ran on shore under a +small battery of two guns, which commenced firing upon us. The first +shot which whizzed between the masts had to me a most terrific sound, +but the officers and men laughed at it, so of course I pretended to do +the same, but in reality I could see nothing to laugh at. The captain +ordered the starboard watch to be piped to quarters, and the boats to be +cleared, ready for hoisting out; we then anchored within a mile of the +battery, and returned the fire. In the meantime, the remainder of the +ship's company hoisted out and lowered down four boats, which were +manned and armed to storm the battery. I was very anxious to go on +service, and O'Brien, who had command of the first cutter, allowed me to +go with him, on condition that I stowed myself away under the +foresheets, that the captain might not see me before the boats had +shoved off. This I did, and was not discovered. We pulled in abreast +towards the battery, and in less than ten minutes the boats were run on +the beach, and we jumped out. The Frenchmen fired a gun at us as we +pulled close to the shore, and then ran away, so that we took possession +without any fighting, which, to confess the truth, I was not sorry for, +as I did not think that I was old or strong enough to cope hand to hand +with a grown-up man. There were a few fishermen's huts close to the +battery, and while two of the boats went on board of the vessels, to see +if they could be got off, and others were spiking the guns and +destroying the carriages, I went with O'Brien to examine them: they were +deserted by the people, as might have been supposed, but there was a +great quantity of fish in them, apparently caught that morning. O'Brien +pointed to a very large skate--"Murder in Irish!" cried he, "it's the +very ghost of my grandmother! we'll have her if it's only for the family +likeness. Peter, put your finger into the gills, and drag her down to +the boat." I could not force my finger into the gills, and as the animal +appeared quite dead, I hooked my finger into its mouth; but I made a sad +mistake, for the animal was alive, and immediately closed its jaws, +nipping my finger to the bone, and holding it so tight that I could not +withdraw it, and the pain was too great to allow me to pull it away by +main force, and tear my finger, which it held so fast. There I was, +caught in a trap, and made a prisoner by a flat-fish. Fortunately, I +hallooed loud enough to make O'Brien, who was close down to the boats, +with a large codfish under each arm, turn round and come to my +assistance. At first he could not help me, from laughing so much; but at +last he forced open the jaw of the fish with his cutlass, and I got my +finger out, but very badly torn indeed. I then took off my garter, tied +it round the tail of the skate, and dragged it to the boat, which was +all ready to shove off. The other boats had found it impossible to get +the vessels off without unloading--so, in pursuance of the captain's +orders, they were set on fire, and before we lost sight of them, had +burnt down to the water's edge. My finger was very bad for three weeks, +and the officers laughed at me very much, saying that I narrowly escaped +being made a prisoner of by an "old maid." + +We continued our cruise along the coast, until we had run down into the +Bay of Arcason, where we captured two or three vessels, and obliged many +more to run on shore. And here we had an instance showing, how very +important it is that a captain of a man-of-war should be a good sailor, +and have his ship in such discipline as to be strictly obeyed by his +ship's company. I heard the officers unanimously assert, after the +danger was over, that nothing but the presence of mind which was shown +by Captain Savage could have saved the ship and her crew. We had chased +a convoy of vessels to the bottom of the bay: the wind was very fresh +when we hauled off, after running them on shore, and the surf on the +beach even at that time was so great, that they were certain to go to +pieces before they could be got afloat again. We were obliged to +double-reef the topsails as soon as we hauled to the wind, and the +weather looked very threatening. In an hour afterwards, the whole sky +was covered with one black cloud, which sank so low as nearly to touch +our mast-heads, and a tremendous sea, which appeared to have risen up +almost by magic, rolled in upon us, setting the vessel on a dead lee +shore. As the night closed in, it blew a dreadful gale, and the ship was +nearly buried with the press of canvas which she was obliged to carry; +for had we sea-room, we should have been lying-to under storm staysails; +but we were forced to carry on at all risks, that we might claw off +shore. The sea broke over as we lay in the trough, deluging us with +water from the forecastle, aft to the binnacles; and very often as the +ship descended with a plunge, it was with such force that I really +thought she would divide in half with the violence of the shock. Double +breechings were rove on the guns, and they were further secured with +tackles, and strong cleats nailed behind the trunnions, for we heeled +over so much when we lurched, that the guns were wholly supported by the +breechings and tackles, and had one of them broken loose, it must have +burst right through the lee side of the ship, and she must have +foundered. The captain, first lieutenant, and most of the officers, +remained on deck during the whole of the night; and really, what with +the howling of the wind, the violence of the rain, the washing of the +water about the decks, the working of the chain-pumps, and the creaking +and groaning of the timbers, I thought that we must inevitably have been +lost; and I said my prayers at least a dozen times during the night, for +I felt it impossible to go to bed. I had often wished, out of curiosity, +that I might be in a gale of wind, but I little thought it was to have +been a scene of this description, or anything half so dreadful. What +made it more appalling was, that we were on a lee shore, and the +consultations of the captain and officers, and the eagerness with which +they looked out for daylight, told us that we had other dangers to +encounter besides the storm. At last the morning broke, and the look-out +man upon the gangway called out, "Land on the lee beam." I perceived the +master dash his fist against the hammock-rails, as if with vexation, and +walk away without saying a word, and looking very grave. + +"Up, there, Mr Wilson," said the captain, to the second lieutenant, "and +see how far the land trends forward, and whether you can distinguish the +point." The second lieutenant went up the main-rigging, and pointed with +his hand to about two points before the beam. + +"Do you see two hillocks inland?" + +"Yes, sir," replied the second lieutenant. + +"Then it is so," observed the captain to the master, "and if we weather +it, we shall have more sea-room. Keep her full, and let her go through +the water; do you hear, quarter-master?" + +"Ay, ay, sir." + +"Thus, and no nearer, my man. Ease her with a spoke or two when she +sends; but be careful, or she'll take the wheel out of your hands." + +It really was a very awful sight. When the ship was in the trough of the +sea, you could distinguish nothing but a waste of tumultuous water; but +when she was borne up on the summit of the enormous waves, you then +looked down, as it were, upon a low, sandy coast, close to you, and +covered with foam and breakers. "She behaves nobly," observed the +captain, stepping aft to the binnacle, and looking at the compass; "if +the wind does not baffle us, we shall weather." The captain had scarcely +time to make the observation, when the sails shivered and flapped like +thunder. "Up with the helm; what are you about, quarter-master?" + +"The wind has headed us, sir," replied the quarter-master, coolly. + +The captain and master remained at the binnacle watching the compass, +and when the sails were again full, she had broken off two points, and +the point of land was only a little on the lee bow. + +"We must wear her round, Mr Falcon. Hands, wear ship--ready, oh, ready." + +"She has come up again," cried the master, who was at the binnacle. + +"Hold fast there a minute. How's her head now?" + +"N.N.E., as she was before she broke off, sir." + +"Pipe belay," said the captain. "Falcon," continued he, "if she breaks +off again we may have no room to wear; indeed there is so little room +now, that I must run the risk. Which cable was ranged last night--the +best bower?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Jump down, then, and see it double-bitted and stoppered at thirty +fathoms. See it well done--our lives may depend upon it." + +The ship continued to hold her course good; and we were within half a +mile of the point, and fully expected to weather it, when again the wet +and heavy sails flapped in the wind, and the ship broke off two points +as before. The officers and seamen were aghast, for the ship's head was +right on to the breakers. "Luff now, all you can, quarter-master," cried +the captain. "Send the men aft directly. My lads, there is no time for +words--I am going to _club-haul_ the ship, for there is no room to wear. +The only chance you have of safety is to be cool, watch my eye, and +execute my orders with precision. Away to your stations for tacking +ship. Hands by the best bower anchor. Mr Wilson, attend below with the +carpenter and his mates, ready to cut away the cable at the moment that +I give the order. Silence, there, fore and aft. Quarter-master, keep her +full again for stays. Mind you ease the helm down when I tell you." +About a minute passed before the captain gave any further orders. The +ship had closed--to within a quarter of a mile of the beach, and the +waves curled and topped around us, bearing us down upon the shore, which +presented one continued surface of foam, extending to within half a +cable's length of our position. The captain waved his hand in silence to +the quarter-master at the wheel, and the helm was put down. The ship +turned slowly to the wind, pitching and chopping as the sails were +spilling. When she had lost her way, the captain gave the order, "Let go +the anchor. We will haul all at once, Mr Falcon," said the captain. Not +a word was spoken, the men went to the fore brace, which had not been +manned; most of them knew, although I did not, that if the ship's head +did not go round the other way, we should be on shore, and among the +breakers in half a minute. I thought at the time that the captain had +said that he would haul all the yards at once, there appeared to be +doubt or dissent on the countenance of Mr Falcon; and I was afterwards +told that he had not agreed with the captain, but he was too good an +officer, and knew that there was no time for discussion, to make any +remark; and the event proved that the captain was right. At last the +ship was head to wind, and the captain gave the signal. The yards flew +round with such a creaking noise, that I thought the masts had gone over +the side, and the next moment the wind had caught the sails, and the +ship, which for a moment or two had been on an even keel, careened over +to her gunnel with its force. The captain, who stood upon the +weather-hammock rails, holding by the main-rigging, ordered the helm +amidships, looked full at the sails, and then at the cable, which grew +broad upon the weather bow, and held the ship from nearing the shore. At +last he cried, "Cut away the cable!" A few strokes of the axes were +heard, and then the cable flew out of the hawsehole in a blaze of fire, +from the violence of the friction, and disappeared under a huge wave, +which struck us on the chess-tree, and deluged us with water fore and +aft. But we were now on the other tack, and the ship regained her way +and we had evidently increased our distance from the land. "My lads," +said the captain to the ship's company, "you have behaved well, and I +thank you; but I must tell you honestly that we have more difficulties +to get through. We have to weather a point of the bay on this tack. Mr +Falcon, splice the main-brace, and call the watch. How's her head, +quarter-master?" + +"S.W. by S. Southerly, sir." + +"Very well; let her go through the water;" and the captain, beckoning to +the master to follow him, went down into the cabin. As our immediate +danger was over, I went down into the berth to see if I could get +anything for breakfast, where I found O'Brien and two or three more. + +"By the powers, it was as nate a thing as ever I saw done," observed +O'Brien: "the slightest mistake as to time or management, and at this +moment the flatfish would have been dubbing at our ugly carcases. Peter, +you're not fond of flatfish, are you, my boy? We may thank Heaven and +the captain, I can tell you that, my lads; but now, where's the chart, +Robinson? Hand me down the parallel rules and compasses, Peter; they are +in the corner of the shelf. Here we are now, a devilish sight too near +this infernal point. Who knows how her head is?" + +"I do, O'Brien: I heard the quarter-master tell the captain S.W. by S. +Southerly." + +"Let me see," continued O'Brien, "variation 2 1/4 lee way--rather too +large an allowance of that, I'm afraid; but, however, we'll give her 2 +1/2 points; the _Diomede_ would blush to make any more, under any +circumstances. Here--the compass--now we'll see;" and O'Brien advanced +the parallel rule from the compass to the spot where the ship was placed +on the chart. "Bother! you see it's as much as she'll do to weather the +other point now, on this tack, and that's what the captain meant, when +he told us we had more difficulty. I could have taken my Bible oath that +we were clear of everything, if the wind held." + +"See what the distance is, O'Brien," said Robinson. It was measured, and +proved to be thirteen miles. "Only thirteen miles; and if we do weather, +we shall do very well, for the bay is deep beyond. It's a rocky point, +you see, just by way of variety. Well, my lads, I've a piece of comfort +for you, anyhow. It's not long that you'll be kept in suspense, for by +one o'clock this day, you'll either be congratulating each other upon +your good luck, or you'll be past praying for. Come, put up the chart, +for I hate to look at melancholy prospects; and, steward, see what you +can find in the way of comfort." Some bread and cheese, with the remains +of yesterday's boiled pork, were put on the table, with a bottle of rum, +procured at the time they "spliced the mainbrace;" but we were all too +anxious to eat much, and one by one returned on deck to see how the +weather was, and if the wind at all favoured us. On deck the superior +officers were in conversation with the captain, who had expressed the +same fear that O'Brien had in our berth. The men, who knew what they had +to expect--for this sort of intelligence is soon communicated through a +ship--were assembled in knots, looking very grave, but at the same time +not wanting in confidence. They knew that they could trust to the +captain, as far as skill or courage could avail them, and sailors are +too sanguine to despair, even at the last moment. As for myself, I felt +such admiration for the captain, after what I had witnessed that +morning, that, whenever the idea came over me, that in all probability I +should be lost in a few hours, I could not help acknowledging how much +more serious it was that such a man should be lost to his country. I do +not intend to say that it consoled me; but it certainly made me still +more regret the chances with which we were threatened. + +Before twelve o'clock, the rocky point which we so much dreaded was in +sight, broad on the lee-bow; and if the low sandy coast appeared +terrible, how much more did this, even at a distance: the black masses +of rock, covered with foam, which each minute dashed up in the air, +higher than our lower mast-heads. The captain eyed it for some minutes +in silence, as if in calculation. + +"Mr Falcon," said he at last, "we must put the mainsail on her." + +"She never can bear it, sir." + +"She _must_ bear it," was the reply. "Send the men aft to the mainsheet. +See that careful men attend the buntlines." + +The mainsail was set, and the effect of it upon the ship was tremendous. +She careened over so that her lee channels were under the water, and +when pressed by a sea, the lee-side of the quarter-deck and gangway were +afloat. She now reminded me of a goaded and fiery horse, mad with the +stimulus applied; not rising as before, but forcing herself through +whole seas, and dividing the waves, which poured in one continual +torrent from the forecastle down upon the decks below. Four men were +secured to the wheel--the sailors were obliged to cling, to prevent +being washed away--the ropes were thrown in confusion to leeward, the +shot rolled out of the lockers, and every eye was fixed aloft, watching +the masts, which were expected every moment to go over the side. A heavy +sea struck us on the broadside, and it was some moments before the ship +appeared to recover herself; she reeled, trembled, and stopped her way, +as if it had stupefied her. The first lieutenant looked at the captain, +as if to say, "This will not do." "It is our only chance," answered the +captain to the appeal. That the ship went faster through the water, and +held a better wind, was certain; but just before we arrived at the point +the gale increased in force. "If anything starts, we are lost, sir," +observed the first lieutenant again. + +"I am perfectly aware of it," replied the captain, in a calm tone; "but, +as I said before, and you must now be aware, it is our only chance. The +consequence of any carelessness or neglect in the fitting and securing +of the rigging, will be felt now; and this danger, if we escape it, +ought to remind us how much we have to answer for if we neglect our +duty. The lives of a whole ship's company may be sacrificed by the +neglect or incompetence of an officer when in harbour. I will pay you +the compliment, Falcon, to say, that I feel convinced that the masts of +the ship are as secure as knowledge and attention can make them." + +The first lieutenant thanked the captain for his good opinion, and hoped +it would not be the last compliment which he paid him. + +"I hope not too; but a few minutes will decide the point." + +The ship was now within two cables' lengths of the rocky point; some few +of the men I observed to clasp their hands, but most of them were +silently taking off their jackets, and kicking off their shoes, that +they might not lose a chance of escape provided the ship struck. + +"'Twill be touch and go indeed, Falcon," observed the captain (for I had +clung to the belaying-pins, close to them, for the last half-hour that +the mainsail had been set). "Come aft, you and I must take the helm. We +shall want _nerve_ there, and only there, now." + +The captain and first lieutenant went aft, and took the forespokes of +the wheel, and O'Brien, at a sign made by the captain, laid hold of the +spokes behind him. An old quarter-master kept his station at the fourth. +The roaring of the seas on the rocks, with the howling of the wind, were +dreadful; but the sight was more dreadful than the noise. For a few +moments I shut my eyes, but anxiety forced me to open them again. As +near as I could judge, we were not twenty yards from the rocks, at the +time that the ship passed abreast of them. We were in the midst of the +foam, which boiled around us; and as the ship was driven nearer to them, +and careened with the wave, I thought that our main-yard-arm would have +touched the rock; and at this moment a gust of wind came on, which laid +the ship on her beam-ends, and checked her progress through the water, +while the accumulated noise was deafening. A few moments more the ship +dragged on, another wave dashed over her and spent itself upon the +rocks, while the spray was dashed back from them, and returned upon the +decks. The main rock was within ten yards of her counter, when another +gust of wind laid us on our beam-ends, the foresail and mainsail split, +and were blown clean out of the bolt-ropes--the ship righted, trembling +fore and aft. I looked astern: the rocks were to windward on our +quarter, and we were safe. I thought at the time, that the ship, +relieved of her courses, and again lifting over the waves, was not a bad +similitude of the relief felt by us all at that moment; and, like her, +we trembled as we panted with the sudden reaction, and felt the removal +of the intense anxiety which oppressed our breasts. + +The captain resigned the helm, and walked aft to look at the point, +which was now broad on the weather quarter. In a minute or two, he +desired Mr Falcon to get new sails up and bend them, and then went below +to his cabin. I am sure it was to thank God for our deliverance: I did +most fervently, not only then, but when I went to my hammock at night. +We were now comparatively safe--in a few hours completely so; for +strange to say, immediately after we had weathered the rocks, the gale +abated, and before morning we had a reef out of the topsails. It was my +afternoon watch, and perceiving Mr Chucks on the forecastle, I went +forward to him, and asked him what he thought of it. + +"Thought of it, sir!" replied he; "why, I always think bad of it when +the elements won't allow my whistle to be heard; and I consider it +hardly fair play. I never care if we are left to our own exertions; but +how is it possible for a ship's company to do their best, when they +cannot hear the boatswain's pipe? However, God be thanked, nevertheless, +and make better Christians of us all! As for that carpenter, he is mad. +Just before we weathered the point, he told me that it was just the same +27,600 and odd years ago. I do believe that on his death-bed (and he was +not far from a very hard one yesterday), he will tell us how he died so +many thousand years ago, of the same complaint. And that gunner of ours +is a fool. Would you believe it, Mr Simple, he went crying about the +decks, 'O my poor guns, what will become of them if they break loose?' +He appeared to consider it of no consequence if the ship and ship's +company were all lost, provided that his guns were safely landed on the +beach. + +"'Mr Dispart,' said I, at last, 'allow me to observe, in the most +delicate way in the world, that you're a d----d old fool.' You see, Mr +Simple, it's the duty of an officer to generalise, and be attentive to +parts, only in consideration of the safety of the whole. I look after my +anchors and cables, as I do after the rigging; not that I care for any +of them in particular, but because the safety of a ship depends upon her +being well found. I might just as well cry because we sacrificed an +anchor and cable yesterday morning, to save the ship from going on +shore." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks," replied I. + +"Private feelings," continued he, "must always be sacrificed for the +public service. As you know, the lower deck was full of water, and all +our cabins and chests were afloat; but I did not think then about my +shirts, and look at them now, all blowing out in the forerigging, +without a particle of starch left in the collars or the frills. I shall +not be able to appear as an officer ought to do for the whole of the +cruise." + +As he said this, the cooper, going forward, passed by him, and jostled +him in passing. "Beg pardon, sir," said the man, "but the ship lurched." + +"The ship lurched, did it?" replied the boatswain, who, I am afraid, was +not in the best of humours about his wardrobe. "And pray, Mr Cooper, why +has heaven granted you two legs, with joints at the knees, except to +enable you to counteract the horizontal deviation? Do you suppose they +were meant for nothing but to work round a cask with? Hark, sir, did you +take me for a post to scrub your pig's hide against? Allow me just to +observe, Mr Cooper--just to insinuate, that when you pass an officer, it +is your duty to keep at a respectable distance, and not to soil his +clothes with your rusty iron jacket. Do you comprehend me, sir; or will +this make you recollect in future?" The rattan was raised, and descended +in a shower of blows, until the cooper made his escape into the head. +"There, take that, you contaminating, stave-dubbing, gimlet-carrying, +quintessence of a bung-hole! I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, for +interrupting the conversation, but when duty calls, we must obey." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks. It's now striking seven bells, and I must call +the master--so good-by." + + + + +Chapter XVI + +News from home--A _fatigue_ party employed at Gibraltar--More +particulars in the life of Mr Chucks--A brush with the enemy--A +court-martial and a lasting impression. + + +A few days afterwards, a cutter joined us from Plymouth, with orders for +the frigate to proceed forthwith to Gibraltar, where we should learn our +destination. We were all very glad of this: for we had had quite enough +of cruising in the Bay of Biscay; and, as we understood that we were to +be stationed in the Mediterranean, we hoped to exchange gales of wind +and severe weather, for fine breezes and a bright sky. The cutter +brought out our letters and newspapers. I never felt more happy than I +did when I found one put into my hands. It is necessary to be far from +home and friends, to feel the real delight of receiving a letter. I went +down into the most solitary place in the steerage, that I might enjoy it +without interruption. I cried with pleasure before I opened it, but I +cried a great deal more with grief, after I had read the contents--for +my eldest brother Tom was dead of a typhus fever. Poor Tom! when I +called to mind what tricks he used to play me--how he used to borrow my +money and never pay me--and how he used to thrash me and make me obey +him, because he was my eldest brother--I shed a torrent of tears at his +loss; and then I reflected how miserable my poor mother must be, and I +cried still more. + +"What's the matter, spooney?" said O'Brien, coming up to me. "Who has +been licking you now?" + +"O, nobody," replied I; "but my eldest brother Tom is dead, and I have +no other." + +"Well, Peter, I dare say that your brother was a very good brother; but +I'll tell you a secret. When you've lived long enough to have a beard to +scrape at, you'll know better than to make a fuss about an elder +brother. But you're a good, innocent boy just now, so I won't thrash you +for it. Come, dry your eyes, Peter, and never mind it. We'll drink his +health and long life to him, after supper, and then never think any more +about it." + +I was very melancholy for a few days; but it was so delightful running +down the Portuguese and Spanish coasts, the weather was so warm, and the +sea so smooth, that I am afraid I forgot my brother's death sooner than +I ought to have done; but my spirits were cheered up, and the novelty of +the scene prevented me from thinking. Every one, too, was so gay and +happy, that I could not well be otherwise. In a fortnight, we anchored +in Gibraltar Bay, and the ship was stripped to refit. There was so much +duty to be done, that I did not like to go on shore. Indeed, Mr Falcon +had refused some of my messmates, and I thought it better not to ask, +although I was very anxious to see a place which was considered so +extraordinary. One afternoon, I was looking over the gangway as the +people were at supper, and Mr Falcon came up to me and said, "Well, Mr +Simple, what are you thinking of?" I replied, touching my hat, that I +was wondering how they had cut out the solid rock into galleries, and +that they must be very curious. + +"That is to say, that you are very curious to see them. Well, then, +since you have been very attentive to your duty, and have not asked to +go on shore, I will give you leave to go to-morrow morning and stay till +gun-fire." + +I was very much pleased at this, as the officers had a general +invitation to dine with the mess, and all who could obtain leave being +requested to come, I was enabled to join the party. The first lieutenant +had excused himself on the plea of there being so much to attend to on +board; but most of the gun-room officers and some of the midshipmen +obtained leave. We walked about the town and fortifications until +dinner-time, and then we proceeded to the barracks. The dinner was very +good, and we were all very merry; but after the dessert had been brought +in, I slipped away with a young ensign, who took me all over the +galleries, and explained everything to me, which was a much better way +of employing my time than doing as the others did, which the reader will +acknowledge. I was at the sally-port before gun-fire--the boat was +there, but no officers made their appearance. The gun fired, the +drawbridge was hauled up, and I was afraid that I should be blamed; but +the boat was not ordered to shove off, as it was waiting for +commissioned officers. About an hour afterwards, when it was quite dark, +the sentry pointed his arms and challenged a person advancing with, "Who +comes there?"--"Naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow," was the reply, +in a loud singing voice. Upon which, the sentry recovered his arms, +singing in return, "Pass naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow--and +all's well!" and then appeared a soldier in his fatigue dress, wheeling +down the third lieutenant in a wheelbarrow, so tipsy that he could not +stand or speak. Then the sentry challenged again, and the answer was, +"Another naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow;" upon which the sentry +replied as before, "Pass, another naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow +--and all's well." This was my friend O'Brien, almost as bad as the +third lieutenant; and so they continued for ten minutes, challenging and +passing, until they wheeled down the remainder of the party, with the +exception of the second lieutenant, who walked arm and arm with the +officer who brought down the order for lowering the drawbridge. I was +much shocked, for I considered it very disgraceful; but I afterwards was +told, which certainly admitted of some excuse, that the mess were +notorious for never permitting any of their guests to leave the table +sober. They were all safely put into the boat, and I am glad to say, the +first lieutenant was in bed and did not see them; but I could not help +acknowledging the truth of an observation made by one of the men as the +officers were handed into the boat, "I say, Bill, if _them_ were _we_, +what a precious twisting we should get to-morrow at six bells!" + +The ship remained in Gibraltar Bay about three weeks, during which time +we had refitted the rigging fore and aft, restowed and cleaned the hold, +and painted outside. She never looked more beautiful than she did when, +in obedience to our orders, we made sail to join the admiral. We passed +Europa Point with a fair wind, and at sunset we were sixty miles from +the Rock, yet it was distinctly to be seen, like a blue cloud, but the +outline perfectly correct. I mention this, as perhaps my reader would +not have believed that it was possible to see land at such a distance. +We steered for Cape de Gatte, and we were next day close in shore. I was +very much delighted with the Spanish coast, mountain upon mountain, hill +upon hill, covered with vines nearly to their summits. We might have +gone on shore at some places, for at that time we were friendly with +the Spaniards, but the captain was in too great a hurry to join the +admiral. We had very light winds, and a day or two afterwards we were +off Valencia, nearly becalmed. I was on the gangway, looking through a +telescope at the houses and gardens round the city, when Mr Chucks, the +boatswain, came up to me. "Mr Simple, oblige me with that glass a +moment; I wish to see if a building remains there, which I have some +reason to remember." + +"What, were you ever on shore there?" + +"Yes I was, Mr Simple, and nearly _stranded_, but I got off again +without much damage." + +"How do you mean--were you wrecked, then?" + +"Not my ship, Mr Simple, but my peace of mind was for some time; but +it's many years ago, when I was first made boatswain of a corvette +(during this conversation he was looking through the telescope); yes, +there it is," said he; "I have it in the field. Look, Mr Simple, do you +see a small church, with a spire of glazed tiles, shining like a +needle?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"Well, then, just above it, a little to the right, there is a long white +house, with four small windows--below the grove of orange-trees." + +"I see it," replied I; "but what about that house, Mr Chucks?" + +"Why, thereby hangs a tale," replied he, giving a sigh, which raised and +then lowered the frill of his shirt at least six inches. + +"Why, what is the mystery, Mr Chucks?" + +"I'll tell you, Mr Simple. With one who lived in that house, I was for +the first, and for the last time, in love." + +"Indeed! I should like very much to hear the story." + +"So you shall, Mr Simple, but I must beg that you will not mention it, +as young gentlemen are apt to quiz; and I think that being quizzed hurts +my authority with the men. It is now about sixteen years back--we were +then on good terms with the Spaniards, as we are now. I was then little +more than thirty years old, and had just received my warrant as +boatswain. I was considered a well-looking young man at that time, +although lately I have, to a certain degree, got the better of that." + +"Well, I consider you a remarkably good-looking man now, Mr Chucks." + +"Thank you, Mr Simple, but nothing improves by age, that I know of, +except rum. I used to dress very smart, and 'cut the boatswain' when I +was on shore: and perhaps I had not lost so much of the polish I had +picked up in good society. One evening, I was walking in the Plaza, when +I saw a female ahead, who appeared to be the prettiest moulded little +vessel that I ever cast my eyes on. I followed in her wake, and examined +her: such a clean run I never beheld--so neat, too, in all her rigging-- +everything so nicely stowed under hatches. And then, she sailed along in +such a style, at one moment lifting so lightly, just like a frigate, +with her topsails on the caps, that can't help going along. At another +time, as she turned a corner sharp up in the wind--wake as straight as +an arrow--no leeway--I made all sail to sheer alongside of her, and, +when under quarter, examined her close. Never saw such a fine swell in +the counter, and all so trim--no ropes towing overboard. Well, Mr +Simple, I said to myself, 'D--n it, if her figurehead and bows be +finished off by the same builder, she's perfect.' So I shot ahead, and +yawed a little--caught a peep at her through her veil, and saw two black +eyes--as bright as beads, and as large as damsons. I saw quite enough, +and not wishing to frighten her, I dropped astern. Shortly afterwards +she altered her course, steering for that white house. Just as she was +abreast of it, and I playing about her weather quarter, the priests came +by in procession, taking the _host_ to somebody who was dying. My little +frigate lowered her top-gallant sails out of respect, as other nations +used to do, and ought now, and be d----d to them, whenever they pass +the flag of old England--" + +"How do you mean?" inquired I. + +"I mean that she spread her white handkerchief, which fluttered in her +hand as she went along, and knelt down upon it on one knee. I did the +same, because I was obliged to heave-to to keep my station, and I +thought, that if she saw me, it would please her. When she got up, I was +on my legs also; but in my hurry I had not chosen a very clean place, +and I found out, when I got up again, that my white jean trousers were +in a shocking mess. The young lady turned round, and seeing my +misfortune, laughed, and then went into the white house, while I stood +there like a fool, first looking at the door of the house, and then at +my trousers. However, I thought that I might make it the means of being +acquainted with her, so I went to the door and knocked. An old gentleman +in a large cloak, who was her father, came out; I pointed to my +trousers, and requested him in Spanish to allow me a little water to +clean them. The daughter then came from within, and told her father how +the accident had happened. The old gentleman was surprised that an +English officer was so good a Christian, and appeared to be pleased. He +asked me very politely to come in, and sent an old woman for some water. +I observed that he was smoking a bit of paper, and having very +fortunately about a couple of dozen of real Havannahs in my pocket (for +I never smoke anything else, Mr Simple, it being my opinion that no +gentleman can), I took them out, and begged his acceptance of them. His +eyes glistened at the sight of them, but he refused to take more than +one; however, I insisted upon his taking the whole bundle, telling him +that I had plenty more on board, reserving one for myself, that I might +smoke it with him. He then requested me to sit down, and the old woman +brought some sour wine, which I declared was very good, although it made +me quite ill afterwards. He inquired of me whether I was a good +Christian. I replied that I was. I knew that he meant a Catholic, for +they call us heretics, Mr Simple. The daughter then came in without her +veil, and she was perfection; but I did not look at her, or pay her any +attention after the first salutation, I was so afraid of making the old +gentleman suspicious. He then asked what I was--what sort of officer-- +was I captain? I replied that I was not. Was I 'tenente? which means +lieutenant; I answered that I was not, again, but with an air of +contempt, as if I was something better. What was I, then? I did not know +the Spanish for boatswain, and, to tell the truth, I was ashamed of my +condition. I knew that there was an officer in Spain called corregidor, +which means a corrector in English, or one who punishes. Now I thought +that quite near enough for my purpose, and I replied that I was the +corregidor. Now, Mr Simple, a corregidor in Spain is a person of rank +and consequence, so they imagined that I must be the same, and they +appeared to be pleased. The young lady then inquired if I was of good +family--whether I was a gentleman or not. I replied that I hoped so. I +remained with them for half-an-hour more, when my segar was finished; I +then rose, and thanking the old gentleman for his civility, begged that +I might be allowed to bring him a few more segars, and took my leave. +The daughter opened the street door, and I could not refrain from taking +her hand and kissing it--" + +"Where's Mr Chucks? call the boatswain there forward," hallooed out the +lieutenant. + +"Here I am, sir," replied Mr Chucks, hastening aft, and leaving me and +his story. + +"The captain of the maintop reports the breast backstay much chafed in +the serving. Go up and examine it," said the first lieutenant. + +"Yes, sir," replied the boatswain, who immediately went up the rigging. + +"And, Mr Simple, attend to the men scraping the spots off the +quarter-deck." + +"Yes, sir," replied I; and thus our conversation was broken up. + +The weather changed that night, and we had a succession of rain and +baffling winds for six or seven days, during which I had no opportunity +of hearing the remainder of the boatswain's history. We joined the fleet +off Toulon, closed the admiral's ship, and the captain went on board to +pay his respects. When he returned, we found out, through the first +lieutenant, that we were to remain with the fleet until the arrival of +another frigate, expected in about a fortnight, and then the admiral had +promised that we should have a cruise. The second day after we had +joined, we were ordered to form part of the in-shore squadron, +consisting of two line-of-battle ships and four frigates. The French +fleet used to come out and manoeuvre within range of their batteries, +or, if they proceeded further from the shore, they took good care that +they had a leading wind to return again into port. We had been in-shore +about a week, every day running close in, and counting the French fleet +in the harbour, to see that they were all safe, and reporting it to the +admiral by signal, when one fine morning, the whole of the French +vessels were perceived to hoist their topsails, and in less than an hour +they were under weigh, and came out of the harbour. We were always +prepared for action, night and day, and, indeed, often exchanged a shot +or two with the batteries when we reconnoitred; the in-shore squadron +could not, of course, cope with the whole French fleet, and our own was +about twelve miles in the offing, but the captain of the line-of-battle +ship who commanded us, hove-to, as if in defiance, hoping to entice them +further out. This was not very easy to do, as the French knew that a +shift of wind might put it out of their power to refuse an action, which +was what they would avoid, and what we were so anxious to bring about. I +say we, speaking of the English, not of myself, for to tell the truth, I +was not so very anxious. I was not exactly afraid, but I had an +unpleasant sensation at the noise of a cannon-ball, which I had not as +yet got over. However, four of the French frigates made sail towards us, +and hove-to, when within four miles, three or four line-of-battle ships +following them as if to support them. Our captain made signal for +permission to close the enemy, which was granted, with our pennants, and +those of another frigate. We immediately made all sail, beat to +quarters, put out the fires, and opened the magazines. The French +line-of-battle ships perceiving that only two of our frigates were sent +against their four, hove-to at about the same distance from their +frigates, as our line-of-battle ships and other frigates were from us. +In the meantime our main fleet continued to work in shore under a press +of sail, and the French main fleet also gradually approached the +detached ships. The whole scene reminded me of the tournaments I had +read of; it was a challenge in the lists, only that the enemy were two +to one; a fair acknowledgment on their parts of our superiority. In +about an hour we closed so near, that the French frigates made sail and +commenced firing. We reserved our fire until within a quarter of a mile, +when we poured our broadside into the headmost frigate, exchanging with +her on opposite tacks. The _Sea-horse_, who followed, also gave her a +broadside. In this way we exchanged broadsides with the whole four, and +we had the best of it, for they could not load so fast as we could. We +were both ready again for the frigates as they passed us, but they were +not ready with their broadside for the _Sea-horse_, who followed us very +closely, so that they had two broadsides each, and we had only four in +the _Diomede_, the _Sea-horse_ not having one. Our rigging was cut up a +great deal, and we had six or seven men wounded, but none killed. The +French frigates suffered more, and their admiral perceiving that they +were cut up a good deal, made a signal of recall. In the meantime we had +both tacked, and were ranging up on the weather quarter of the sternmost +frigate: the line-of-battle ships perceiving this, ran down with the +wind, two points free, to support their frigates, and our in-shore +squadron made all sail to support us, nearly laying up for where we +were. But the wind was what is called at sea a soldier's wind, that is, +blowing so that the ships could lie either way, so as to run out or into +the harbour, and the French frigates, in obedience to their orders, made +sail for their fleet in-shore, the line-of-battle ships coming out to +support them. But our captain would not give it up, although we all +continued to near the French line-of-battle ships every minute--we ran +in with the frigates, exchanging broadsides with them as fast as we +could. One of them lost her foretopmast, and dropped astern, and we +hoped to cut her off, but the others shortened sail to support her. This +continued for about twenty minutes, when the French line-of-battle ships +were not more than a mile from us, and our own commodore had made the +signal of our recall, for he thought that we should be overpowered and +taken. But the _Sea-horse_, who saw the recall up, did not repeat it, +and our captain was determined not to see it, and ordered the signal-man +not to look that way. The action continued, two of the French frigates +were cut to pieces, and complete wrecks, when the French line-of-battle +ships commenced firing. It was then high time to be off. We each of us +poured in another broadside, and then wore round for our own squadron, +which was about four miles off, and rather to leeward, standing in to +our assistance. As we wore round, our main-topmast, which had been badly +wounded, fell over the side, and the French perceiving this, made all +sail, with the hope of capturing us; but the _Sea-horse_ remained with +us, and we threw up in the wind, and raked them until they were within +two cables' lengths of us. Then we stood on for our own ships; at last +one of the line-of-battle ships, which sailed as well as the frigates, +came abreast of us, and poured in a broadside, which brought everything +about our ears, and I thought we must be taken; but on the contrary, +although we lost several men, the captain said to the first lieutenant, +"Now, if they only wait a little longer, they are nabbed, as sure as +fate." Just at this moment, our own line-of-battle ships opened their +fire, and then the tables were turned. The French tacked, and stood in +as fast as they could, followed by the in-shore squadron, with the +exception of our ship, which was too much crippled to chase them. One of +their frigates had taken in tow the other, who had lost her top-mast, +and our squadron came up with her very fast. The English fleet were also +within three miles, standing in, and the French fleet standing out, to +the assistance of the other ships which had been engaged. I thought, and +so did everybody, that there would be a general action, but we were +disappointed; the frigate which towed the other, finding that she could +not escape, cast her off, and left her to her fate, which was to haul +down her colours to the commodore of the in-shore squadron. The chase +was continued until the whole of the French vessels were close under +their batteries, and then our fleet returned to its station with the +prize, which proved to be the _Narcisse_, of thirty-six guns, Captain Le +Pelleteon. Our captain obtained a great deal of credit for his gallant +behaviour. We had three men killed, and Robinson, the midshipman, and +ten men wounded, some of them severely. I think this action cured me of +my fear of a cannon-ball, for during the few days we remained with the +fleet, we often were fired at when we reconnoitred, but I did not care +anything for them. About the time she was expected, the frigate joined, +and we had permission to part company. But before I proceed with the +history of our cruise, I shall mention the circumstances attending a +court-martial, which took place during the time that we were with the +fleet, our captain having been recalled from the in-shore squadron to +sit as one of the members. I was the midshipman appointed to the +captain's gig, and remained on board of the admiral's ship during the +whole of the time that the court was sitting. Two seamen, one an +Englishman, and the other a Frenchman, were tried for desertion from one +of our frigates. They had left their ship about three months, when the +frigate captured a French privateer, and found them on board as part of +her crew. For the Englishman, of course, there was no defence; he +merited the punishment of death, to which he was immediately sentenced. +There may be some excuse for desertion, when we consider that the seamen +are taken into the service by force, but there could be none for +fighting against his country. But the case of the Frenchman was +different. He was born and bred in France, had been one of the crew of +the French gunboats at Cadiz, where he had been made a prisoner by the +Spaniards, and expecting his throat to be cut every day, had contrived +to escape on board of the frigate lying in the harbour, and entered into +our service, I really believe to save his life. He was nearly two years +in the frigate before he could find an opportunity of deserting from +her, and returning to France, when he joined the French privateer. +During the time that he was in the frigate, he bore an excellent +character. The greatest point against him was, that on his arrival at +Gibraltar he had been offered, and had received the bounty. When the +Englishman was asked what he had to say in his defence, he replied that +he had been pressed out of an American ship, that he was an American +born, and that he had never taken the bounty. But this was not true. The +defence of the Frenchman was considered so very good for a person in his +station of life, that I obtained a copy of it, which ran as follows:-- + +"Mr President, and Officers of the Honourable Court;--It is with the +greatest humility that I venture to address you. I shall be very brief, +nor shall I attempt to disprove the charges which have been made against +me, but confine myself to a few facts, the consideration of which will, +I trust, operate upon your feelings in mitigation of the punishment to +which I may be sentenced for my fault--a fault which proceeded, not from +any evil motive, but from an ardent love for my country. I am by birth a +Frenchman; my life has been spent in the service of France until a few +months after the revolution in Spain, when I, together with those who +composed the French squadron at Cadiz, was made a prisoner. The +hardships and cruel usage which I endured became insupportable. I +effected my escape, and after wandering about the town for two or three +days, in hourly expectation of being assassinated, the fate of too many +of my unfortunate countrymen; desperate from famine, and perceiving no +other chance of escaping from the town, I was reduced to the necessity +of offering myself as a volunteer on board of an English frigate. I +dared not, as I ought to have done, acknowledge myself to have been a +prisoner, from the dread of being delivered up to the Spaniards. During +the period that I served on board of your frigate, I confidently rely +upon the captain and the officers for my character. + +"The love of our country, although dormant for a time, will ultimately +be roused, and peculiar circumstances occurred which rendered the +feeling irresistible. I returned to my duty, and for having so done, am +I to be debarred from again returning to that country so dear to me-- +from again beholding my aged parents, who bless me in my absence--from +again embracing my brothers and sisters--to end my days upon a scaffold; +not for the crime which I did commit in entering into your service, but +for an act of duty and repentance--that of returning to my own? Allow me +to observe, that the charge against me is not for entering your service, +but for having deserted from it. For the former, not even my misery can +be brought forward but in extenuation; for the latter I have a proud +consciousness, which will, I trust, be my support in my extremity. + +"Gentlemen, I earnestly entreat you to consider my situation, and I am +sure that your generous hearts will pity me. Let that love of your +country, which now animates your breasts, and induces you to risk your +lives and your all, now plead for me. Already has British humanity saved +thousands of my countrymen from the rage of the Spaniards; let that same +humanity be extended now, and induce my judges to add one more to the +list of those who, although our nations are at war, if they are endowed +with feeling, can have but one sentiment towards their generous enemy--a +sentiment overpowering all other, that of a deep-felt gratitude."[1] + +Whatever may have been the effect of the address upon the court +individually, it appeared at the time to have none upon them as a body. +Both the men were condemned to death, and the day after the morrow was +fixed for their execution. I watched the two prisoners as they went down +the side, to be conducted on board of their own ship. The Englishman +threw himself down in the stern sheets of the boat, every minor +consideration apparently swallowed up in the thought of his approaching +end; but the Frenchman, before he sat down, observing that the seat was +a little dirty, took out his silk handkerchief, and spread it on the +seat, that he might not soil his nankeen trowsers. + +I was ordered to attend the punishment on the day appointed. The sun +shone so brightly, and the sky was so clear, the wind so gentle and +mild, that it appeared hardly possible that it was to be a day of such +awe and misery to the two poor men, or of such melancholy to the fleet +in general. I pulled up my boat with the others belonging to the ships +of the fleet, in obedience to the orders of the officer superintending, +close to the fore-chains of the ship. In about half-an-hour afterwards, +the prisoners made their appearance on the scaffold, the caps were +pulled over their eyes, and the gun fired underneath them. When the +smoke rolled away, the Englishman was swinging at the yard-arm, but the +Frenchman was not; he had made a spring when the gun fired, hoping to +break his neck at once, and put an end to his misery; but he fell on the +edge of the scaffold, where he lay. We thought that his rope had given +way, and it appeared that he did the same, for he made an enquiry, but +they returned him no answer. He was kept on the scaffold during the +whole hour that the Englishman remained suspended; his cap had been +removed, and he looked occasionally at his fellow-sufferer. When the +body was lowered down, he considered that his time was come, and +attempted to leap overboard. He was restrained and led aft, where his +reprieve was read to him and his arms were unbound. But the effect of +the shock was too much for his mind; he fell down in a swoon, and when +he recovered, his senses had left him, and I heard that he never +recovered them, but was sent home to be confined as a maniac. I thought, +and the result proved, that it was carried too far. It is not the +custom, when a man is reprieved, to tell him so, until after he is on +the scaffold, with the intention that his awful situation at the time +may make a lasting impression upon him during the remainder of his life; +but, as a foreigner, he was not aware of our customs, and the hour of +intense feeling which he underwent was too much for his reason. I must +say, that this circumstance was always a source of deep regret in the +whole fleet, and that his being a Frenchman, instead of an Englishman, +increased the feeling of commiseration. + +[Footnote 1: This is fact.--AUTHOR.] + + + + +Chapter XVII + +Mr Chucks's opinion on proper names--He finishes his Spanish tale--March +of intellect among the Warrant Officers. + + +We were all delighted when our signal was hoisted to "part company," as +we anticipated plenty of prize-money under such an enterprising captain. +We steered for the French coast, near to its junction with Spain, the +captain having orders to intercept any convoys sent to supply the French +army with stores and provisions. + +The day after we parted company with the fleet, Mr Chucks finished his +story. + +"Where was I, Mr Simple, when I left off?" said he, as we took a seat +upon the long eighteen. + +"You had just left the house after having told them that you were a +corregidor, and had kissed the lady's hand." + +"Very true. Well, Mr Simple, I did not call there for two or three days +afterwards; I did not like to go too soon, especially as I saw the young +lady every day in the Plaza. She would not speak to me, but, to make use +of their expression, 'she gave me her eyes,' and sometimes a sweet +smile. I recollect I was so busy looking at her one day, that I tripped +over my sword, and nearly fell on my nose, at which she burst out a +laughing." + +"Your sword, Mr Chucks? I thought boatswains never wore swords." + +"Mr Simple, a boatswain is an officer, and is entitled to a sword as +well as the captain, although we have been laughed out of it by a set of +midshipman monkeys. I always wore my sword at that time; but now-a-days, +a boatswain is counted as nobody, unless there is hard work to do, and +then it's Mr Chucks this, and Mr Chucks that. But I'll explain to you +how it is, Mr Simple, that we boatswains have lost so much of +consequence and dignity. The first lieutenants are made to do the +boatswain's duty now-a-days, and if they could only wind the call, they +might scratch the boatswain's name off half the ships' books in his +Majesty's service. But to go on with my yarn. On the fourth day, I +called with my handkerchief full of segars for the father, but he was at +siesta, as they called it. The old serving-woman would not let me in at +first; but I shoved a dollar between her skinny old fingers, and that +altered her note. She put her old head out, and looked round to see if +there was anybody in the street to watch us, and then she let me in and +shut the door. I walked into the room, and found myself alone with +Seraphina." + +"Seraphina!--what a fine name!" + +"No name can be too fine for a pretty girl, or a good frigate, Mr +Simple; for my part, I'm very fond of these hard names. Your Bess, and +Poll, and Sue, do very well for the Point, or Castle Rag; but in my +opinion, they degrade a lady. Don't you observe, Mr Simple, that all our +gun-brigs, a sort of vessel that will certainly d----n the inventor to +all eternity, have nothing but low common names, such as Pincher, +Thrasher, Boxer, Badger, and all that sort, which are quite good enough +for them; whereas all our dashing saucy frigates have names as long as +the main-top bowling, and hard enough to break your jaw--such as +Melpomeny, Terpsichory, Arethusy, Bacchanty--fine flourishers, as long +as their pennants which dip alongside in a calm." + +"Very true," replied I; "but do you think, then, it is the same with +family names?" + +"Most certainly, Mr Simple. When I was in good society, I rarely fell in +with such names as Potts or Bell, or Smith or Hodges; it was always Mr +Fortescue, or Mr Fitzgerald, or Mr Fitzherbert--seldom bowed, sir, to +anything under _three_ syllables." + +"Then I presume, Mr Chucks, you are not fond of your own name?" + +"There you touch me, Mr Simple; but it is quite good enough for a +boatswain," replied Mr Chucks, with a sigh. "I certainly did very wrong +to impose upon people as I did, but I've been severely punished for it-- +it has made me discontented and unhappy ever since. Dearly have I paid +for my spree; for there is nothing so miserable as to have ideas above +your station in life, Mr Simple. But I must make sail again. I was three +hours with Seraphina before her father came home, and during that time I +never was quietly at an anchor for above a minute. I was on my knees, +vowing and swearing, kissing her feet and kissing her hand, till at last +I got to her lips, working my way up as regularly as one who gets in at +the hawsehole and crawls aft to the cabin windows. She was very kind, +and she smiled, and sighed, and pushed me off, and squeezed my hand, and +was angry--frowning till I was in despair, and then making me happy +again with her melting dark eyes beaming kindly, till at last she said +that she would try to love me, and asked me whether I would marry her +and live in Spain. I replied that I would; and, indeed, I felt as if I +could, only at the time the thought occurred to me where the rhino was +to come from, for I could not live, as her father did, upon a paper +segar and a piece of melon per day. At all events, as far as words went, +it was a settled thing. When her father came home, the old servant told +him that I had just at that moment arrived, and that, his daughter was +in her own room; so she was, for she ran away as soon as she heard her +father knock. I made my bow to the old gentleman, and gave him the +segars. He was serious at first, but the sight of them put him into good +humour, and in a few minutes Donna Seraphina (they call a lady a Donna +in Spain) came in, saluting me ceremoniously, as if we had not been +kissing for the hour together. I did not remain long, as it was getting +late, so I took a glass of the old gentleman's sour wine, and walked +off, with a request from him to call again, the young lady paying me +little or no attention during the time that I remained, or at my +departure." + +"Well, Mr Chucks," observed I, "it appears to me that she was a very +deceitful young person." + +"So she was, Mr Simple; but a man in love can't see, and I'll tell you +why. If he wins the lady, he is as much in love with himself as with +her, because he is so proud of his conquest. That was my case. If I had +had my eyes, I might have seen that she who could cheat her old father +for a mere stranger, would certainly deceive him in his turn. But if +love makes a man blind, vanity, Mr Simple, makes him blinder. In short, +I was an ass." + +"Never mind, Mr Chucks, there was a good excuse for it." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I met her again and again, until I was madly in love, +and the father appeared to be aware of what was going on, and to have no +objection. However, he sent for a priest to talk with me, and I again +said that I was a good Catholic. I told him that I was in love with the +young lady, and would marry her. The father made no objection on my +promising to remain in Spain, for he would not part with his only +daughter. And there again I was guilty of deceit, first, in making a +promise I did not intend to keep, and then in pretending that I was a +Catholic. Honesty is the best policy, Mr Simple, in the long run, you +may depend upon it." + +"So my father has always told me, and I have believed him," replied I. + +"Well, sir, I am ashamed to say that I did worse; for the priest, after +the thing was settled, asked me whether I had confessed lately. I knew +what he meant, and answered that I had not. He motioned me down on my +knees; but, as I could not speak Spanish enough for that, I +mumbled-jumbled something or another, half Spanish and half English, and +ended with putting four dollars in his hand for _carita_, which means +charity. He was satisfied at the end of my confession, whatever he might +have been at the beginning, and gave me absolution, although he could +not have understood what my crimes were; but four dollars, Mr Simple, +will pay for a deal of crime in that country. And now, sir, comes the +winding up of this business. Seraphina told me that she was going to the +opera with some of her relations, and asked me if I would be there; that +the captain of the frigate, and all the other officers were going, and +that she wished me to go with her. You see, Mr Simple, although +Seraphina's father was so poor, that a mouse would have starved in his +house, still he was of good family, and connected with those who were +much better off. He was a Don himself, and had fourteen or fifteen long +names, which I forget now. I refused to go with her, as I knew that the +service would not permit a boatswain to sit in an opera-box, when the +captain and first lieutenant were there. I told her that I had promised +to go on board and look after the men while the captain went on shore; +thus, as you'll see, Mr Simple, making myself a man of consequence, only +to be more mortified in the end. After she had gone to the opera, I was +very uncomfortable: I was afraid that the captain would see her, and +take a fancy to her. I walked up and down, outside, until I was so full +of love and jealousy that I determined to go into the pit and see what +she was about. I soon discovered her in a box, with some other ladies, +and with them were my captain and first lieutenant. The captain, who +spoke the language well, was leaning over her, talking and laughing, and +she was smiling at what he said. I resolved to leave immediately, lest +she should see me and discover that I had told her a falsehood; but they +appeared so intimate that I became so jealous I could not quit the +theatre. At last she perceived me, and beckoned her hand; I looked very +angry, and left the theatre cursing like a madman. It appeared that she +pointed me out to the captain, and asked him who I was; he told her my +real situation on board, and spoke of me with contempt. She asked +whether I was not a man of family; at this the captain and first +lieutenant both burst out laughing, and said that I was a common sailor +who had been promoted to a higher rank for good behaviour--not exactly +an officer, and anything but a gentleman. In short, Mr Simple, I was +_blown upon_, and, although the captain said more than was correct, as +I learnt afterwards through the officers, still I deserved it. +Determined to know the worst, I remained outside till the opera was +over, when I saw her come out, the captain and first lieutenant walking +with the party--so that I could not speak with her. I walked to a posada +(that's an inn), and drank seven bottles of rosolio to keep myself +quiet; then I went on board, and the second lieutenant, who was +commanding officer, put me under arrest for being intoxicated. It was a +week before I was released; and you can't imagine what I suffered, Mr +Simple. At last, I obtained leave to go on shore, and I went to the +house to decide my fate. The old woman opened the door, and then calling +me a thief, slammed it in my face; as I retreated, Donna Seraphina came +to the window, and, waving her hand with a contemptuous look, said, 'Go, +and God be with you, Mr Gentleman.' I returned on board in such a rage, +that if I could have persuaded the gunner to have given me a ball +cartridge, I should have shot myself through the head. What made the +matter worse, I was laughed at by everybody in the ship, for the captain +and first lieutenant had made the story public." + +"Well, Mr Chucks," replied I, "I cannot help being sorry for you, +although you certainly deserved to be punished for your dishonesty. Was +that the end of the affair?" + +"As far as I was concerned it was, Mr Simple; but not as respected +others. The captain took my place, but without the knowledge of the +father. After all, they neither had great reason to rejoice at the +exchange." + +"How so, Mr Chucks--what do you mean?" + +"Why, Mr Simple, the captain did not make an honest woman of her, as I +would have done; and the father discovered what was going on, and one +night the captain was brought on board run through the body. We sailed +immediately for Gibraltar, and it was a long while before he got round +again: and then he had another misfortune." + +"What was that?" + +"Why he lost his boatswain, Mr Simple; for I could not bear the sight of +him--and then he lost (as you must know, not from your own knowledge, +but from that of others) a boatswain who knows his duty." + +"Every one says so, Mr Chucks. I'm sure that our captain would be very +sorry to part with you." + +"I trust that every captain has been with whom I've sailed, Mr Simple. +But that was not all he lost, Mr Simple; for the next cruise he lost his +masts; and the loss of his masts occasioned the loss of his ship, since +which he has never been trusted with another, but is laid on the shelf. +Now he never carried away a spar of any consequence during the whole +time that I was with him. A mast itself is nothing, Mr Simple--only a +piece of wood--but fit your rigging properly, and then a mast is strong +as a rock. Only ask Mr Faulkner, and he'll tell you the same; and I +never met an officer who knew better how to support a mast." + +"Did you ever hear any more of the young lady?" + +"Yes; about a year afterwards I returned there in another ship. She had +been shut up in a convent, and forced to take the veil. Oh, Mr Simple! +if you knew how I loved that girl! I have never been more than polite to +a woman since, and shall die a bachelor. You can't think how I was +capsized the other day, when I looked at the house; I have hardly +touched beef or pork since, and am in debt two quarts of rum more than +my allowance. But, Mr Simple, I have told you this in confidence, and I +trust you are too much of a gentleman to repeat it; for I cannot bear +quizzing from young midshipmen." + +I promised that I would not mention it, and I kept my word; but +circumstances which the reader will learn in the sequel have freed me +from the condition. Nobody can quiz him now. + +We gained our station off the coast of Perpignan; and as soon as we made +the land, we were most provokingly driven off by a severe gale. I am not +about to make any remarks about the gale, for one storm is so like +another; but I mention it, to account for a conversation which took +place, and with which I was very much amused. I was near to the captain +when he sent for Mr Muddle, the carpenter, who had been up to examine +the main-topsail yard, which had been reported as sprung. + +"Well, Mr Muddle," said the captain. + +"Sprung, sir, most decidedly; but I think we'll be able to _mitigate_ +it." + +"Will you be able to secure it for the present, Mr Muddle?" replied the +captain, rather sharply. + +"We'll _mitigate_ it, sir, in half an hour." + +"I wish that you would use common phrases when you speak to me, Mr +Muddle. I presume, by mitigate, you mean to say that you can secure it. +Do you mean so, sir, or do you not?" + +"Yes, sir, that is what I mean, most decidedly. I hope no offence, +Captain Savage; but I did not intend to displease you by my language." + +"Very good, Mr Muddle," replied the captain; "it's the first time that I +have spoken to you on the subject, recollect that it will be the last." + +"The first time!" replied the carpenter, who could not forget his +philosophy; "I beg your pardon, Captain Savage, you found just the same +fault with me on this quarter-deck 27,672 years ago, and--" + +"If I did, Mr Muddle," interrupted the captain, very angrily, "depend +upon it that at the same time I ordered you to go aloft, and attend to +your duty, instead of talking nonsense on the quarter-deck; and, +although, as you say, you and I cannot recollect it, if you did not obey +that order instantaneously, I also put you in confinement, and obliged +you to leave the ship as soon as she returned to port. Do you understand +me, sir?" + +"I rather think, sir," replied the carpenter, humbly touching his hat, +and walking to the main rigging, "that no such thing took place, for I +went up immediately, as I do now; and," continued the carpenter, who was +incurable, as he ascended the rigging, "as I shall again in another +27,672 years." + +"That man is incorrigible with his confounded nonsense," observed the +captain to the first lieutenant. "Every mast in the ship would go over +the side, provided he could get any one to listen to his ridiculous +theory." + +"He is not a bad carpenter, sir," replied the first lieutenant. + +"He is not," rejoined the captain; "but there is a time for all things." + +Just at this moment, the boatswain came down the rigging. + +"Well, Mr Chucks, what do you think of the yard? Must we shift it?" +inquired the captain. + +"At present, Captain Savage," replied the boatswain, "I consider it to +be in a state which may be called precarious, and not at all permanent; +but, with a little human exertion, four fathom of three-inch, and +half-a-dozen tenpenny nails, it may last, for all I know, until it is +time for it to be sprung again." + +"I do not understand you, Mr Chucks. I know no time when a yard ought to +be sprung." + +"I did not refer to our time, sir," replied the boatswain, "but to the +27,672 years of Mr Muddle, when--" + +"Go forward immediately, sir, and attend to your duty," cried the +captain, in a very angry voice; and then he said to the first +lieutenant, "I believe the warrant officers are going mad. Who ever +heard a boatswain use such language--'precarious and not at all +permanent?' His stay in the ship will become so, if he does not mind +what he is about." + +"He is a very odd character, sir," replied the first lieutenant; "but I +have no hesitation in saying that he is the best boatswain in his +majesty's service." + +"I believe so too," replied the captain; "but--well, every one has his +faults. Mr Simple, what are you about sir?" + +"I was listening to what you said," replied I, touching my hat. + +"I admire your candour, sir," replied he, "but advise you to discontinue +the practice. Walk over to leeward, sir, and attend to your duty." + +When I was on the other side of the deck, I looked round, and saw the +captain and first lieutenant both laughing. + + + + +Chapter XVIII + +I go away on service, am wounded and taken prisoner with O'Brien-- +Diamond cut diamond between the O'Briens--Get into comfortable quarters +--My first interview with Celeste. + + +And now I have to relate an event, which, young as I was at the time, +will be found to have seriously affected me in after life. How little do +we know what to-morrow may bring forth! We had regained our station, and +for some days had been standing off and on the coast, when one morning +at daybreak, we found ourselves about four miles from the town of Cette, +and a large convoy of vessels coming round a point. We made all sail in +chase, and they anchored close in shore, under a battery, which we did +not discover until it opened fire upon us. The shot struck the frigate +two or three times, for the water was smooth, and the battery nearly +level with it. The captain tacked the ship, and stood out again, until +the boats were hoisted out, and all ready to pull on shore and storm the +battery. O'Brien, who was the officer commanding the first cutter on +service, was in his boat, and I again obtained permission from him to +smuggle myself into it. + +"Now, Peter, let's see what kind of a fish you'll bring on board this +time," said he, after we had shoved off: "or may be, the fish will not +let you off quite so easy." The men in the boat all laughed at this, and +I replied, "That I must be more seriously wounded than I was last time, +to be made a prisoner." We ran on shore, amidst the fire of the +gunboats, who protected the convoy, by which we lost three men, and made +for the battery, which we took without opposition, the French +artillery-men running out as we ran in. The directions of the captain +were very positive, not to remain in the battery a minute after it was +taken, but to board the gunboats, leaving only one of the small boats, +with the armourer to spike the guns, for the captain was aware that +there were troops stationed along the coast, who might come down upon us +and beat us off. The first lieutenant, who commanded, desired O'Brien to +remain with the first cutter, and after the armourer had spiked the +guns, as officer of the boat he was to shove off immediately. O'Brien +and I remained in the battery with the armourer, the boat's crew being +ordered down to the boat, to keep her afloat, and ready to shove off at +a moment's warning. We had spiked all the guns but one, when all of a +sudden a volley of musketry was poured upon us, which killed the +armourer, and wounded me in the leg above the knee. I fell down by +O'Brien, who cried out, "By the powers! here they are, and one gun not +spiked." He jumped down, wrenched the hammer from the armourer's hand, +and seizing a nail from the bag, in a few moments he had spiked the gun. +At this time I heard the tramping of the French soldiers advancing, when +O'Brien threw away the hammer, and lifting me upon his shoulders, cried, +"Come along, Peter, my boy," and made for the boat as fast as he could; +but he was too late; he had not got half way to the boat, before he was +collared by two French soldiers, and dragged back into the battery. The +French troops then advanced, and kept up a smart fire: our cutter +escaped, and joined the other boat, who had captured the gun-boats and +convoy with little opposition. Our large boats had carronades mounted in +their bows, and soon returned the fire with round and grape, which drove +the French troops back into the battery, where they remained, popping at +our men under cover, until most of the vessels were taken out; those +which they could not man were burnt. + +In the meantime, O'Brien had been taken into the battery, with me on his +back; but as soon as he was there, he laid me gently down, saying, +"Peter, my boy, as long as you were under my charge, I'd carry you +through thick and thin; but now that you are under the charge of these +French beggars, why let them carry you. Every man his own bundle, Peter, +that's fair play, so if they think you're worth the carrying, let them +bear the weight of ye." + +"And suppose they do not, O'Brien, will you leave me here?" + +"Will I lave you, Peter! not if I can help it, my boy; but they won't +leave you, never fear them; prisoners are so scarce with them, that they +would not leave the captain's monkey, if he were taken." + +As soon as our boats were clear of their musketry, the commanding +officer of the French troops examined the guns in the battery, with the +hope of reaching them, and was very much annoyed to find that every one +of them was spiked. "He'll look sharper than a magpie before he finds a +clear touch-hole, I expect," said O'Brien, as he watched the officer. +And here I must observe, that O'Brien showed great presence of mind in +spiking the last gun; for had they had one gun to fire at our boats +towing out the prizes, they must have done a great deal of mischief to +them, and we should have lost a great many men; but in so doing, and in +the attempt to save me, he sacrificed himself, and was taken prisoner. +When the troops ceased firing, the commanding officer came up to +O'Brien, and looking at him, said, "Officer?" to which O'Brien nodded +his head. He then pointed to me--"Officer?" O'Brien nodded his head +again, at which the French troops laughed, as O'Brien told me +afterwards, because I was what they called an _enfant_, which means an +infant. I was very stiff, and faint, and could not walk. The officer who +commanded the troops left a detachment in the battery, and prepared to +return to Cette, from whence they came. O'Brien walked, and I was +carried on three muskets by six of the French soldiers--not a very +pleasant conveyance at any time, but in my state excessively painful. +However, I must say, that they were very kind to me, and put a great +coat or something under my wounded leg, for I was in an agony, and +fainted several times. At last they brought me some water to drink. O +how delicious it was! I have often thought since, when I have been in +company, where people fond of good living have smacked their lips at +their claret, that if they could only be wounded, and taste a cup of +water, they would then know what it was to feel a beverage grateful. In +about an hour and a half, which appeared to me to be five days at the +least, we arrived at the town of Cette, and I was taken up to the house +of the officer who commanded the troops, and who had often looked at me +as I was carried there from the battery, saying, "_Pauvre enfant_!" I +was put on a bed, where I again fainted away. When I came to my senses, +I found a surgeon had bandaged my leg, and that I had been undressed. +O'Brien was standing by me, and I believe that he had been crying, for +he thought that I was dead. When I looked him in the face, he said, +"Pater, you baste, how you frightened me: bad luck to me if ever I take +charge of another youngster. What did you sham dead for?" + +"I am better now, O'Brien," replied I, "how much I am indebted to you: +you have been made prisoner in trying to save me." + +"I have been made prisoner in doing my duty, in one shape or another. If +that fool of an armourer hadn't held his hammer so tight, after he was +dead, and it was of no use to him, I should have been clear enough, and +so would you have been! but, however, all this is nothing at all, Peter; +as far as I can see, the life of a man consists in getting into scrapes, +and getting out of them. By the blessing of God, we've managed the +first, and by the blessing of God we'll manage the second also; so be +smart, my honey, and get well, for although a man may escape by running +away on two legs, I never heard of a boy who hopped out of a French +prison upon one." + +I squeezed the offered hand of O'Brien, and looked round me; the surgeon +stood at one side of the bed, and the officer who commanded the troops +at the other. At the head of the bed was a little girl about twelve +years old, who held a cup in her hand, out of which something had been +poured down my throat. I looked at her, and she had such pity in her +face, which was remarkably handsome, that she appeared to me as an +angel, and I turned round as well as I could, that I might look at her +alone. She offered me the cup, which I should have refused from any one +but her, and I drank a little. Another person then came into the room, +and a conversation took place in French. + +"I wonder what they mean to do with us," said I to O'Brien. + +"Whist, hold your tongue," replied he; and then he leaned over me, and +said in a whisper, "I understand all they say; don't you recollect, I +told you that I learnt the language after I was kilt and buried in the +sand, in South America?" After a little more conversation, the officer +and the others retired, leaving nobody but the little girl and O'Brien +in the room. + +"It's a message from the governor," said O'Brien, as soon as they were +gone, "wishing the prisoners to be sent to the gaol in the citadel, to +be examined; and the officer says (and he's a real gentleman, as far as +I can judge) that you're but a baby, and badly wounded in the bargain, +and that it would be a shame not to leave you to die in peace; so I +presume that I'll part company from you very soon." + +"I hope not, O'Brien," replied I; "if you go to prison, I will go also, +for I will not leave you, who are my best friend, to remain with +strangers; I should not be half so happy, although I might have more +comforts in my present situation." + +"Pater, my boy, I am glad to see that your heart is in the right place, +as I always thought it was, or I wouldn't have taken you under my +protection. We'll go together to prison, my jewel, and I'll fish at the +bars with a bag and a long string, just by way of recreation, and to +pick up a little money to buy you all manner of nice things; and when +you get well, you shall do it yourself, mayhap you'll have better luck, +as Peter your namesake had, who was a fisherman before you. There's +twice as much room in one of the cells as there is in a midshipman's +berth, my boy; and the prison yards, where you are allowed to walk, will +make a dozen quarter-decks, and no need of touching your hat out of +respect when you go into it. When a man has been cramped up on board of +a man-of-war, where midshipmen are stowed away like pilchards in a cask, +he finds himself quite at liberty in a prison, Peter. But somehow or +another, I think we mayn't be parted yet, for I heard the officer (who +appears to be a real gentleman, and worthy to have been an Irishman +born) say to the other, that he'd ask the governor for me to stay with +you on parole, until you are well again." The little girl handed me the +lemonade, of which I drank a little, and then I felt very faint again. I +laid my head on the pillow, and O'Brien having left off talking, I was +soon in a comfortable sleep. In an hour I was awakened by the return of +the officer, who was accompanied by the surgeon. The officer addressed +O'Brien in French who shook his head as before. + +"Why don't you answer, O'Brien," said I, "since you understand him?" + +"Peter, recollect that I cannot speak a word of their lingo; then I +shall know what they say before us, and they won't mind what they say, +supposing I do not understand them." + +"But is that honest, O'Brien?" + +"Is it honest you mean? If I had a five-pound note in my pocket, and +don't choose to show it to every fellow that I meet--is that dishonest?" + +"To be sure it's not." + +"And a'n't that what the lawyers call a case in pint?" + +"Well," replied I, "if you wish it, I shall of course say nothing; but I +think that I should tell them, especially as they are so kind to us." + +During this conversation, the officer occasionally spoke to the surgeon, +at the same time eyeing us, I thought, very hard. Two other persons then +came into the room; one of them addressed O'Brien in very bad English, +saying, that he was interpreter, and would beg him to answer a few +questions. He then inquired the name of our ship, number of guns, and +how long we had been cruising. After that, the force of the English +fleet, and a great many other questions relative to them; all of which +were put in French by the person who came with him, and the answer +translated, and taken down in a book. Some of the questions O'Brien +answered correctly, to others he pleaded ignorance; and to some, he +asserted what was not true. But I did not blame him for that, as it was +his duty not to give information to the enemy. At last they asked my +name, and rank, which O'Brien told them. "Was I noble?" + +"Yes," replied O'Brien. + +"Don't say so, O'Brien," interrupted I. + +"Peter, you know nothing about it, you are grandson to a lord." + +"I know that, but still I am not noble myself, although descended from +him; therefore pray don't say so." + +"Bother! Pater, I have said it, and I won't unsay it; besides, Pater, +recollect it's a French question, and in France you would be considered +noble. At all events, it can do no harm." + +"I feel too ill to talk, O'Brien; but I wish you had not said so." + +They then inquired O'Brien's name, which he told them; his rank in the +service, and also, whether he was noble. + +"I am an O'Brien," replied he; "and pray what's the meaning of the O +before my name, if I'm not noble? However, Mr Interpreter, you may add, +that we have dropped our title because it's not convanient." The French +officer burst out into a loud laugh, which surprised us very much. The +interpreter had great difficulty in explaining what O'Brien said; but as +O'Brien told me afterwards, the answer was put down _doubtful_. + +They all left the room except the officer, who then, to our +astonishment, addressed us in good English. "Gentlemen, I have obtained +permission from the governor for you to remain in my house, until Mr +Simple is recovered. Mr O'Brien, it is necessary that I should receive +your parole of honour that you will not attempt to escape. Are you +willing to give it?" + +O'Brien was quite amazed; "Murder an' Irish," cried he; "so you speak +English, colonel. It was not very genteel of you not to say so, +considering how we've been talking our little secrets together." + +"Certainly, Mr O'Brien, not more necessary," replied the officer, +smiling, "than for you to tell me that you understood French." + +"O, bother!" cried O'Brien, "how nicely I'm caught in my own trap! +You're an Irishman, sure?" + +"I'm of Irish descent," replied the officer, "and my name, as well as +yours, is O'Brien. I was brought up in this country, not being permitted +to serve my own, and retain the religion of my forefathers. I may now be +considered as a Frenchman, retaining nothing of my original country, +except the language, which my mother taught me, and a warm feeling +towards the English wherever I meet them. But to the question, Mr +O'Brien, will you give your parole?" + +"The word of an Irishman, and the hand to boot," replied O'Brien, +shaking the colonel by the hand; "and you're more than doubly sure, for +I'll never go away and leave little Peter here; and as for carrying him +on my back, I've had enough of that already." + +"It is sufficient," replied the colonel. "Mr O'Brien, I will make you as +comfortable as I can; and when you are tired of attending your friend, +my little daughter shall take your place. You'll find her a kind little +nurse, Mr Simple." + +I could not refrain from tears at the colonel's kindness: he shook me by +the hand; and telling O'Brien that dinner was ready, he called up his +daughter, the little girl who had attended me before; and desired her to +remain in the room. "Celeste," said he, "you understand a little +English; quite enough to find out what he is in want of. Go and fetch +your work, to amuse yourself when he is asleep." Celeste went out, and +returning with her embroidery, sat down by the head of the bed: the +colonel and O'Brien then quitted the room. Celeste then commenced her +embroidery, and as her eyes were cast down upon her work, I was able to +look at her without her observing it. As I said before, she was a very +beautiful little girl; her hair was light brown, eyes very large, and +eyebrows drawn as with a pair of compasses; her nose and mouth were also +very pretty; but it was not so much her features as the expression of +her countenance, which was so beautiful, so modest, so sweet, and so +intelligent. When she smiled, which she almost always did when she +spoke, her teeth were like two rows of little pearls. + +I had not looked at her long, before she raised her eyes from her work, +and perceiving that I was looking at her, said, "You want--something-- +want drink--I speak very little English." + +"Nothing, I thank ye," replied I; "I only want to go to sleep." + +"Then--shut--your--eye," replied she smiling; and she went to the +window, and drew down the blinds to darken the room. But I could not +sleep; the remembrance of what had occurred--in a few hours wounded, and +a prisoner--the thought of my father and mother's anxiety; with the +prospect of going to a prison and close confinement, as soon as I was +recovered, passed in succession in my mind, and, together with the +actual pain of my wound, prevented me from obtaining any rest. The +little girl several times opened the curtain to ascertain whether I +slept or wanted anything, and then as softly retired. In the evening, +the surgeon called again; he felt my pulse, and directing cold +applications to my leg, which had swelled considerably, and was becoming +very painful, told Colonel O'Brien, that, although I had considerable +fever, I was doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances. + +But I shall not dwell upon my severe sufferings for a fortnight, after +which the ball was extracted; nor upon how carefully I was watched by +O'Brien, the colonel, and little Celeste, during my peevishness and +irritation, arising from pain and fever. I feel grateful to them, but +partiqularly [sic] to Celeste, who seldom quitted me for more than +half-an-hour, and, as I gradually recovered, tried all she could to +amuse me. + + + + +Chapter XIX + +We remove to very unpleasant quarters--Birds of a feather won't always +flock together--O'Brien cuts a cutter midshipman, and gets a taste of +French steel--Altogether _flat_ work--A walk into the interior. + + +As soon as I was well enough to attend to my little nurse, we became +very intimate, as might be expected. Our chief employment was teaching +each other French and English. Having the advantage of me in knowing a +little before we met, and also being much quicker of apprehension, she +very soon began to speak English fluently, long before I could make out +a short sentence in French. However, as it was our chief employment, and +both were anxious to communicate with each other, I learnt it very fast. +In five weeks I was out of bed, and could limp about the room; and +before two months were over, I was quite recovered. The colonel, +however, would not report me to the governor; I remained on a sofa +during the day, but at dusk I stole out of the house, and walked about +with Celeste. I never passed such a happy time as the last fortnight; +the only drawback was the remembrance that I should soon have to +exchange it for a prison. I was more easy about my father and mother, as +O'Brien had written to them, assuring them that I was doing well; and +besides, a few days after our capture, the frigate had run in, and sent +a flag of truce to inquire if we were alive or made prisoners; at the +same time Captain Savage sent on shore all our clothes, and two hundred +dollars in cash for our use. I knew that even if O'Brien's letter did +not reach them, they were sure to hear from Captain Savage that I was +doing well. But the idea of parting with Celeste, towards whom I felt +such gratitude and affection, was most painful; and when I talked about +it, poor Celeste would cry so much, that I could not help joining her, +although I kissed away her tears. At the end of twelve weeks, the +surgeon could no longer withhold his report, and we were ordered to be +ready in two days to march to Toulon, where we were to join another +party of prisoners, to proceed with them into the interior. I must pass +over our parting, which the reader may imagine was very painful. I +promised to write to Celeste, and she promised that she would answer my +letters, if it were permitted. We shook hands with Colonel O'Brien, +thanking him for his kindness, and, much to his regret, we were taken in +charge by two French cuirassiers, who were waiting at the door. As we +preferred being continued on parole until our arrival at Toulon, the +soldiers were not at all particular about watching us; and we set off on +horseback, O'Brien and I going first, and the French cuirassiers +following us in the rear. + +We trotted or walked along the road very comfortably. The weather was +delightful: we were in high spirits, and almost forgot that we were +prisoners. The cuirassiers followed us at a distance of twenty yards, +conversing with each other, and O'Brien observed that it was amazingly +genteel of the French governor to provide us with two servants in such +handsome liveries. The evening of the second day we arrived at Toulon, +and as soon as we entered the gates, we were delivered into the custody +of an officer with a very sinister cast of countenance, who, after some +conversation with the cuirassiers, told us in a surly tone that our +parole was at an end, and gave us in charge of a corporal's guard, with +directions to conduct us to the prison near the Arsenal. We presented +the cuirassiers with four dollars each, for their civility, and were +then hurried away to our place of captivity. I observed to O'Brien, that +I was afraid that we must now bid farewell to anything like pleasure. +"You're right there, Peter," replied he: "but there's a certain jewel +called Hope, that somebody found at the bottom of his chest, when it was +clean empty, and so we must not lose sight of it, but try and escape as +soon as we can; but the less we talk about it the better." In a few +minutes we arrived at our destination: the door was opened, ourselves +and our bundles (for we had only selected a few things for our march, +the colonel promising to forward the remainder as soon as we wrote to +inform him to which depot we were consigned), were rudely shoved in; and +as the doors again closed, and the heavy bolts were shot, I felt a +creeping, chilly sensation pass through my whole body. + +As soon as we could see--for although the prison was not very dark, yet +so suddenly thrown in, after the glare of a bright sunshiny day, at +first we could distinguish nothing--we found ourselves in company with +about thirty English sailors. Most of them were sitting down on the +pavement, or on boxes, or bundles containing their clothes that they had +secured, conversing with each other, or playing at cards or draughts. +Our entrance appeared to excite little attention; after having raised +their eyes to indulge their curiosity, they continued their pursuits. I +have often thought what a feeling of selfishness appeared to pervade the +whole of them. At the time I was shocked, as I expected immediate +sympathy and commiseration; but afterwards I was not surprised. Many of +these poor fellows had been months in the prison, and a short +confinement will produce that indifference to the misfortunes of others, +which I then observed. Indeed, one man, who was playing at cards, looked +up for a moment as we came in, and cried out, "Hurrah, my lads! the more +the merrier," as if he really was pleased to find that there were others +who were as unfortunate as himself. We stood looking at the groups for +about ten minutes, when O'Brien observed, "that we might as well come to +an anchor, foul ground being better than no bottom;" so we sat down in a +corner, upon our bundles, where we remained for more than an hour, +surveying the scene, without speaking a word to each other. I could not +speak--I felt so very miserable. I thought of my father and mother in +England, of my captain and my messmates, who were sailing about so +happily in the frigate, of the kind Colonel O'Brien, and dear little +Celeste, and the tears trickled down my cheeks as these scenes of former +happiness passed through my mind in quick succession. O'Brien did not +speak but once, and then he only said, "This is dull work, Peter." + +We had been in the prison about two hours, when a lad in a very greasy, +ragged jacket, with a pale emaciated face, came up to us, and said, "I +perceive by your uniforms that you are both officers, as well as +myself." + +O'Brien stared at him for a little while, and then answered, "Upon my +soul and honour, then, you've the advantage of us, for it's more than I +could perceive in you; but I'll take your word for it. Pray what ship +may have had the misfortune of losing such a credit to the service?" + +"Why, I belonged to the _Snapper_ cutter," replied the young lad; "I was +taken in a prize, which the commanding officer had given in my charge to +take to Gibraltar: but they won't believe that I'm an officer. I have +applied for officer's allowance and rations, and they won't give them to +me." + +"Well, but they know that we are officers," replied O'Brien; "why do +they shove us in here, with the common seamen?" + +"I suppose you are only put in here for the present," replied the +cutter's midshipman; "but why I cannot tell." + +Nor could we, until afterwards, when we found out, as our narrative will +show, that the officer who received us from the cuirassiers had once +quarrelled with Colonel O'Brien, who first pulled his nose, and +afterwards ran him through the body. Being told by the cuirassiers that +we were much esteemed by Colonel O'Brien, he resolved to annoy us as +much as he could; and when he sent up the document announcing our +arrival, he left out the word "Officers," and put us in confinement with +the common seamen. "It's very hard upon me not to have my regular +allowance as an officer," continued the midshipman. "They only give me a +black loaf and three sous a day. If I had had my best uniform on, they +never would have disputed my being an officer; but the scoundrels who +retook the prize stole all my traps, and I have nothing but this old +jacket." + +"Why, then," replied O'Brien, "you'll know the value of dress for the +future. You cutter and gun-brig midshipmen go about in such a dirty +state, that you are hardly acknowledged by us who belong to frigates to +be officers, much less gentlemen. You look so dirty, and so slovenly +when we pass you in the dockyard, that we give you a wide berth; how +then can you suppose strangers to believe that you are either officers +or gentlemen? Upon my conscience, I absolve the Frenchmen from all +prejudice, for, as to, your being an officer, we, as Englishmen have +nothing but your bare word for it." + +"Well, it's very hard," replied the lad, "to be attacked this way by a +brother officer; your coat will be as shabby as mine, before you have +been here long." + +"That's very true, my darling," returned O'Brien: "but at least I shall +have the pleasant reflection that I came in as a gentleman, although I +may not exactly go out under the same appearance. Good night, and +pleasant dreams to you!" I thought O'Brien rather cross in speaking in +such a way, but he was himself always as remarkably neat and well +dressed, as he was handsome and well made. + +Fortunately we were not destined to remain long in this detestable hole. +After a night of misery, during which we remained sitting on our +bundles, and sleeping how we could, leaning with our backs against the +damp wall, we were roused, at daybreak by the unbarring of the prison +doors, followed up with an order to go into the prison yard. We were +huddled out like a flock of sheep, by a file of soldiers with loaded +muskets; and, as we went into the yard, were ranged two and two. The +same officer who ordered us into prison, commanded the detachment of +soldiers who had us in charge. O'Brien stepped out of the ranks, and, +addressing them, stated that we were officers, and had no right to be +treated like common sailors. The French officer replied, that he had +better information, and that we wore coats which did not belong to us; +upon which O'Brien was in a great rage, calling the officer a liar, and +demanding satisfaction for the insult, appealing to the French soldiers, +and stating, that Colonel O'Brien, who was at Cette, was his countryman, +and had received him for two months into his house upon parole, which +was quite sufficient to establish his being an officer. The French +soldiers appeared to side with O'Brien after they had heard this +explanation, stating that no common English sailor could speak such good +French, and that they were present when we were sent in on parole, and +they asked the officer whether he intended to give satisfaction. The +officer stormed, and drawing his sword out of the scabbard, struck +O'Brien with the flat of the blade, looking at him with contempt, and +ordering him into the ranks. I could not help observing that, during +this scene, the men-of-war sailors who were among the prisoners, were +very indignant, while, on the contrary, those captured in merchant +vessels appeared to be pleased with the insult offered to O'Brien. One +of the French soldiers then made a sarcastic remark, that the French +officer did not much like the name of O'Brien. This so enraged the +officer, that he flew at O'Brien, pushed him back into the ranks, and +taking out a pistol, threatened to shoot him through the head. I must do +the justice to the French soldiers, that they all cried out "Shame!" +They did not appear to have the same discipline, or the same respect for +an officer, as the soldiers have in our service, or they would not have +been so free in their language; yet, at the same time, they obeyed all +his orders on service very implicitly. + +When O'Brien returned to the ranks, he looked defiance at the officer, +telling him, "That he would pocket the affront very carefully, as he +intended to bring it out again upon a future and more suitable +occasion." We were then marched out in ranks, two and two, being met at +the street by two drummers, and a crowd of people, who had gathered to +witness our departure. The drums beat, and away we went. The officer who +had charge of us mounted a small horse, galloping up and down from one +end of the ranks to the other, with his sword drawn, bullying, swearing, +and striking with the flat of the blade at any one of the prisoners who +was not in his proper place. When we were close to the gates, we were +joined by another detachment of prisoners: we were then ordered to halt, +and were informed, through an interpreter, that any one attempting to +escape would immediately be shot, after which information we once more +proceeded on our route. + +Nothing remarkable occurred during our first day's march, except perhaps +a curious conversation between O'Brien and one of the French soldiers, +in which they disputed about the comparative bravery of the two nations. +O'Brien, in his argument, told the Frenchman that his countrymen could +not stand a charge of English bayonets. The Frenchman replied that there +was no doubt but the French were quite as brave as the English--even +more so; and that, as for not standing the charge of bayonets, it was +not because they were less brave; but the fact was, that they were most +excessively _ticklish_. We had black bread and sour wine served out to +us this day, when we halted to refresh. O'Brien persuaded a soldier to +purchase something for us more eatable; but the French officer heard of +it, and was very angry, ordering the soldier to the rear. + + + + +Chapter XX + +O'Brien fights a duel with a French officer, and proves that the great +art of fencing is knowing nothing about it--We arrive at our new +quarters, which we find very secure. + + +At night we arrived at a small town, the name of which I forget. Here we +were all put into an old church for the night, and a very bad night we +passed. They did not even give us a little straw to lie down upon: the +roof of the church had partly fallen in, and the moon shone through very +brightly. This was some comfort; for to have been shut up in the dark, +seventy-five in number, would have been very miserable. We were afraid +to lie down anywhere, as, like all ruined buildings in France, the +ground was covered with filth, and the smell was shocking. O'Brien was +very thoughtful, and would hardly answer any question that I put to him; +it was evident that he was brooding over the affront which he had +received from the French officer. At daybreak, the door of the church +was again opened by the French soldiers, and we were conducted to the +square of the town, where we found the troops quartered, drawn up with +their officers, to receive us from the detachment who had escorted us +from Toulon. We were very much pleased with this, as we knew that we +should be forwarded by another detachment, and thus be rid of the brutal +officer who had hitherto had charge of the prisoners. But we were rid of +him in another way. As the French officers walked along our ranks to +look at us, I perceived among them a captain, whom we had known very +intimately when we were living at Cette with Colonel O'Brien. I cried +out his name immediately; he turned round, and seeing O'Brien and me, he +came up to us, shaking us by the hand, and expressing his surprise at +finding us in such a situation. O'Brien explained to him how we had been +treated, at which he expressed his indignation, as did the other +officers who had collected round us. The major who commanded the troops +in the town turned to the French officer (he was only a lieutenant) who +had conducted us from Toulon, and demanded of him his reason for +behaving to us in such an unworthy manner. He denied having treated us +ill, and said that he had been informed that we had put on officers' +dresses which did not belong to us. At this O'Brien declared that he was +a liar, and a cowardly _foutre_, that he had struck him with the back of +his sabre, which he would not have dared do if he had not been a +prisoner; adding, that all he requested was satisfaction for the insult +offered to him, and appealed to the officers whether, if it were +refused, the lieutenant's epaulets ought not to be cut off his +shoulders. The major commandant and the officers retired to consult, +and, after a few minutes, they agreed that the lieutenant was bound to +give the satisfaction required. The lieutenant replied that he was +ready; but, at the same time, did not appear to be very willing. The +prisoners were left in charge of the soldiers, under a junior officer, +while the others, accompanied by O'Brien, myself, and the lieutenant, +walked to a short distance outside the town. As we proceeded there, I +asked O'Brien with what weapons they would fight. + +"I take it for granted," replied he, "that it will be with the small +sword." + +"But," said I, "do you know anything about fencing?" + +"Devil a bit, Peter; but that's all in my favour." + +"How can that be?" replied I. + +"I'll tell you, Peter. If one man fences well, and another is but an +indifferent hand at it, it is clear that the first will run the other +through the body; but, if the other knows nothing at all about it, why +then, Peter, the case is not quite so clear: because the good fencer is +almost as much puzzled by your ignorance as you are by his skill, and +you become on more equal terms. Now, Peter, I've made up my mind that +I'll run that fellow through the body, and so I will, as sure as I am an +O'Brien." + +"Well, I hope you will; but pray do not be too sure." + +"It's feeling sure that will make me able to do it, Peter. By the blood +of the O'Briens! didn't he slap me with his sword, as if I were a clown +in the pantomime. Peter, I'll kill the harlequin scoundrel, and my +word's as good as my bond!" + +By this time we had arrived at the ground. The French lieutenant +stripped to his shirt and trousers; O'Brien did the same, kicking his +boots off, and standing upon the wet grass in his stockings. The swords +were measured, and handed to them; they took their distance, and set to. +I must say, that I was breathless with anxiety; the idea of losing +O'Brien struck me with grief and terror. I then felt the value of all +his kindness to me, and would have taken his place, and have been run +through the body, rather than he should have been hurt. At first, +O'Brien put himself in the correct attitude of defence, in imitation of +the lieutenant, but this was for a very few seconds; he suddenly made a +spring, and rushed on to his adversary, stabbing at him with a velocity +quite astonishing, the lieutenant parrying in his defence, until at last +he had an opportunity of lungeing at O'Brien. O'Brien, who no longer +kept his left arm raised in equipoise, caught the sword of the +lieutenant at within six inches of the point, and directing it under his +left arm, as he rushed in, passed his own through the lieutenant's body. +It was all over in less than a minute--the lieutenant did not live half +an hour afterwards. The French officers were very much surprised at the +result, for they perceived at once that O'Brien knew nothing of fencing. +O'Brien gathered a tuft of grass, wiped the sword, which he presented to +the officer to whom it belonged, and thanking the major and the whole of +them for their impartiality and gentlemanlike conduct, led the way to +the square, where he again took his station in the ranks of the +prisoners. + +Shortly after, the major commandant came up to us, and asked whether we +would accept of our parole, as, in that case, we might travel as we +pleased. We consented, with many thanks for his civility and kindness; +but I could not help thinking at the time, that the French officers were +a little mortified at O'Brien's success, although they were too +honourable to express the feeling. O'Brien told me, after we had quitted +the town, that had it not been for the handsome conduct of the officers, +he would not have accepted our parole, as he felt convinced that we +could have easily made our escape. We talked over the matter a long +while, and at last agreed that there would be a better chance of success +by and by, when more closely guarded, than there would be now, under +consideration of all circumstances, as it required previously concerted +arrangements to get out of the country. + +I had almost forgotten to say, that on our return after the duel the +cutter's midshipman called out to O'Brien, requesting him to state to +the commandant that he was also an officer; but O'Brien replied, that +there was no evidence for it but his bare word. If he was an officer he +must prove it himself, as everything in his appearance flatly +contradicted his assertion. + +"It's very hard," replied the midshipman, "that because my jacket's a +little tarry or so I must lose my rank." + +"My dear fellow," replied O'Brien, "it's not because your jacket's a +little tarry; it is because what the Frenchmen call your _tout ensemble_ +is quite disgraceful in an officer. Look at your face in the first +puddle, and you'll find that it would dirty the water you look into. +Look at your shoulders above your ears, and your back with a bow like a +_kink_ in a cable. Your trowsers, sir, you have pulled your legs too far +through, showing a foot and a half of worsted stockings. In short, look +at yourself altogether, and then tell me, provided you be an officer, +whether, from respect to the service, it would not be my duty to +contradict it. It goes against my conscience, my dear fellow; but +recollect that when we arrive at the depot, you will be able to prove +it, so it's only waiting a little while, until the captains will pass +their word for you, which is more than I will." + +"Well, it's very hard," replied the midshipman, "that I must go on +eating this black rye bread; and very unkind of you." + +"It's very kind of me, you spalpeen of the Snapper. Prison will be a +paradise to you, when you get into good commons. How you'll relish your +grub by-and-by! So now shut your pan, or by the tail of Jonah's whale, +I'll swear you're a Spaniard." + +I could not help thinking that O'Brien was very severe upon the poor +lad, and I expostulated with him afterwards. He replied, "Peter, if, as +a cutter's midshipman, he is a bit of an officer, the devil a bit is he +of a gentleman, either born or bred: and I'm not bound to bail every +blackguard-looking chap that I meet. By the head of St Peter, I would +blush to be seen in his company, if I were in the wildest bog in +Ireland, with nothing but an old crow as spectator." + +We were now again permitted to be on our parole, and received every +attention and kindness from the different officers who commanded the +detachments which passed the prisoners from one town to another. In a +few days we arrived at Montpelier, where we had orders to remain a short +time until directions were received from Government as to the depots for +prisoners to which we were to be sent. At this delightful town, we had +unlimited parole, not even a gendarme accompanying us. We lived at the +table d'hote, were permitted to walk about where we pleased, and amused +ourselves every evening at the theatre. During our stay there we wrote +to Colonel O'Brien at Cette, thanking him for his kindness, and +narrating what had occurred since we parted. I also wrote to Celeste, +inclosing my letter unsealed in the one to Colonel O'Brien. I told her +the history of O'Brien's duel, and all I could think would interest her; +how sorry I was to have parted from her; that I never would forget her; +and trusted that some day, as she was only half a Frenchwoman, we should +meet again. Before we left Montpelier, we had the pleasure of receiving +answers to our letters: the colonel's letters were very kind, +particularly the one to me, in which he called me his dear boy, and +hoped that I should soon rejoin my friends, and prove an ornament to my +country. In his letter to O'Brien, he requested him not to run me into +useless danger--to recollect that I was not so well able to undergo +extreme hardship. I have no doubt but that this caution referred to +O'Brien's intention to escape from prison, which he had not concealed +from the colonel, and the probability that I would be a partner in the +attempt. The answer from Celeste was written in English; but she must +have had assistance from her father, or she could not have succeeded so +well. It was like herself, very kind and affectionate; and also ended +with wishing me a speedy return to my friends, who must (she said) be so +fond of me, that she despaired of ever seeing me more, but that she +consoled herself as well as she could with the assurance that I should +be happy. I forgot to say, that Colonel O'Brien, in his letter to me, +stated that he expected immediate orders to leave Cette, and take the +command of some military post in the interior, or join the army, but +which, he could not tell; that they had packed up everything, and he was +afraid that our correspondence must cease, as he could not state to what +place we should direct our letters. I could not help thinking at the +time, that it was a delicate way of pointing out to us that it was not +right that he should correspond with us in our relative situations; but +still, I was sure that he was about to leave Cette, for he never would +have made use of a subterfuge. I must here acquaint the reader with a +circumstance which I forgot to mention, which was that when Captain +Savage sent in a flag of truce with our clothes and money, I thought +that it was but justice to O'Brien that they should know on board of the +frigate the gallant manner in which he had behaved. I knew that he would +never tell himself, so, ill as I was at the time, I sent for Colonel +O'Brien, and requested him to write down my statement of the affair, in +which I mentioned how O'Brien had spiked the last gun, and had been +taken prisoner by so doing, together with his attempting to save me. +When the colonel had written all down, I requested that he would send +for the major, who first entered the fort with the troops, and translate +it to him in French. This he did in my presence, and the major declared +every word to be true. "Will he attest it, colonel, as it may be of +great service to O'Brien?" The major immediately assented. Colonel +O'Brien then enclosed my letter, with a short note from himself, to +Captain Savage, paying him a compliment, and assuring him that his +gallant young officers should be treated with every attention, and all +the kindness which the rules of war would admit of. O'Brien never knew +that I had sent that letter, as the colonel, at my request, kept the +secret. + +In ten days we received an order to march on the following morning. The +sailors, among whom was our poor friend the midshipman of the Snapper +cutter, were ordered to Verdun; O'Brien and I, with eight masters of +merchant vessels, who joined us at Montpelier, were directed by the +Government to be sent to Givet, a fortified town in the department of +Ardennes. But, at the same time, orders arrived from Government to treat +the prisoners with great strictness, and not to allow any parole; the +reason of this, we were informed, was that accounts had been sent to +Government of the death of the French officer in the duel with O'Brien, +and they had expressed their dissatisfaction at its having been +permitted. Indeed, I very much doubt whether it would have been +permitted in our country, but the French officers are almost +romantically chivalrous in their ideas of honour; in fact, as enemies, I +have always considered them as worthy antagonists to the English, and +they appear more respectable in themselves, and more demanding our +goodwill in that situation, than they do when we meet them as friends, +and are acquainted with the other points of their character, which +lessen them in our estimation. + +I shall not dwell upon a march of three weeks, during which we +alternately received kind or unhandsome treatment, according to the +dispositions of those who had us in charge; but I must observe, that it +was invariably the case, that officers who were gentlemen by birth +treated us with consideration, while those who had sprung from nothing +during the Revolution, were harsh, and sometimes even brutal. It was +exactly four months from the time of our capture that we arrived at our +destined prison at Givet. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, as he looked hastily at the fortifications, and +the river which divided the two towns, "I see no reason, either English +or French, that we should not eat our Christmas dinner in England. I've +a bird's eye view of the outside, and now, have only to find out +where-abouts we may be in the inside." + +I must say that, when I looked at the ditches and high ramparts, I had a +different opinion; so had a gendarme who was walking by our side, and +who had observed O'Brien's scrutiny, and who quietly said to him in +French, "_Vous le croyez possible!_" + +"Everything is possible to a brave man--the French armies have proved +that," answered O'Brien. + +"You are right," replied the gendarme, pleased with the compliment to +his nation; "I wish you success, you will deserve it; but--" and he +shook his head. + +"If I could but obtain a plan of the fortress," said O'Brien, "I would +give five Napoleons for one," and he looked at the gendarme. + +"I cannot see any objection to an officer, although a prisoner, studying +fortification," replied the gendarme. "In two hours you will be within +the walls; and now I recollect, in the map of the two towns, the +fortress is laid down sufficiently accurately to give you an idea of it. +But we have conversed too long." So saying, the gendarme dropped into +the rear. + +In a quarter of an hour, we arrived at the Place d'Armes, where we were +met, as usual, by another detachment of troops, and drummers, who +paraded us through the town previous to our being drawn up before the +governor's house. This, I ought to have observed, was, by order of +Government, done at every town we passed through; it was very +contemptible, but prisoners were so scarce, that they made all the +display of us that they could. As we stopped at the governor's house, +the gendarme, who had left us in the square, made a sign to O'Brien, as +much as to say, I have it. O'Brien took out five Napoleons, which he +wrapped in paper, and held in his hand. In a minute or two, the gendarme +came up and presented O'Brien with an old silk handkerchief, saying, +"_Votre mouchoir, monsieur_." + +"_Merci,"_ replied O'Brien, putting the handkerchief which contained the +map into his pocket, "_voici à boire, mon ami_;" and he slipped the +paper with the five Napoleons into the hand of the gendarme, who +immediately retreated. + +This was very fortunate for us, as we afterwards discovered that a mark +had been put against O'Brien's and my name, not to allow parole or +permission to leave the fortress, even under surveillance. Indeed, even +if it had not been so, we never should have obtained it, as the +lieutenant killed by O'Brien was nearly related to the commandant of the +fortress, who was as much a _mauvais sujet_ as his kinsman. Having +waited the usual hour before the governor's house, to answer to our +muster-roll, and to be stared at, we were dismissed; and in a few +minutes, found ourselves shut up in one of the strongest fortresses in +France. + + + + +Chapter XXI + +O'Brien receives his commission as lieutenant, and then we take French +leave of Givet. + + +If I doubted the practicability of escape when I examined the exterior, +when we were ushered into the interior of the fortress, I felt that it +was impossible, and I stated my opinion to O'Brien. We were conducted +into a yard surrounded by a high wall; the buildings appropriated for +the prisoners were built with _lean-to_ roofs on one side, and at each +side of the square was a sentry looking down upon us. It was very much +like the dens which they now build for bears, only so much larger. +O'Brien answered me with a "Pish! Peter, it's the very security of the +place which will enable us to get out of it. But don't talk, as there +are always spies about who understand English." + +We were shown into a room allotted to six of us; our baggage was +examined, and then delivered over to us. "Better and better, Peter," +observed O'Brien, "they've not found it out!" + +"What?" inquired I. + +"Oh, only a little selection of articles, which might be useful to us +by-and-by." + +He then showed me what I never before was aware of: that he had a false +bottom to his trunk; but it was papered over like the rest, and very +ingeniously concealed. "And what is there, O'Brien?" inquired I. + +"Never mind; I had them made at Montpelier. You'll see by-and-by." + +The others, who were lodged in the same room, then came in, and after +staying a quarter of an hour, went away at the sound of the dinner-bell. +"Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "I must get rid of my load. Turn the key." + +O'Brien then undressed himself, and when he threw off his shirt and +drawers, showed me a rope of silk, with a knot at every two feet, about +half-an-inch in size, wound round and round his body. There were about +sixty feet of it altogether. As I unwound it, he, turning round and +round, observed, "Peter, I've worn this rope ever since I left +Montpelier, and you've no idea of the pain I have suffered; but we must +go to England, that's decided upon." + +When I looked at O'Brien, as the rope was wound off, I could easily +imagine that he had really been in great pain; in several places his +flesh was quite raw from the continual friction, and after it was all +unwound, and he had put on his clothes, he fainted away. I was very much +alarmed, but I recollected to put the rope into the trunk, and take out +the key, before I called for assistance. He soon came to, and on being +asked what was the matter, said that he was subject to fits from his +infancy. He looked earnestly at me, and I showed him the key, which was +sufficient. + +For some days O'Brien, who really was not very well, kept to his room. +During this time, he often examined the map given him by the gendarme. +One day he said to me, "Peter, can you swim?" + +"No," replied I; "but never mind that." + +"But I must mind it, Peter; for observe, we shall have to cross the +river Meuse, and boats are not always to be had. You observe, that this +fortress is washed by the river on one side: and as it is the strongest +side, it is the least guarded--we must escape by it. I can see my way +clear enough till we get to the second rampart on the river, but when we +drop into the river, if you cannot swim, I must contrive to hold you up, +somehow or another." + +"Are you then determined to escape, O'Brien? I cannot perceive how we +are even to get up this wall, with four sentries staring us in the +face." + +"Never do you mind that, Peter, mind your own business; and first tell +me, do you intend to try your luck with me?" + +"Yes," replied I, "most certainly; if you have sufficient confidence in +me to take me as your companion." + +"To tell you the truth, Peter, I would not give a farthing to escape +without you. We were taken together, and, please God, we'll take +ourselves off together; but that must not be for this month; our +greatest help will be the dark nights and foul weather." + +The prison was by all accounts very different from Verdun and some +others. We had no parole, and but little communication with the +townspeople. Some were permitted to come in and supply us with various +articles; but their baskets were searched to see that they contained +nothing that might lead to an escape on the part of the prisoners. +Without the precautions that O'Brien had taken, any attempt would have +been useless. Still, O'Brien, as soon as he left his room, did obtain +several little articles--especially balls of twine--for one of the +amusements of the prisoners was flying kites. This, however, was put a +stop to, in consequence of one of the strings, whether purposely or +not, I cannot say, catching the lock of the musket carried by one of +the sentries who looked down upon us, and twitching it out of his hand; +after which an order was given by the commandant for no kites to be +permitted. This was fortunate for us, as O'Brien, by degrees, +purchased all the twine belonging to the other prisoners; and, as we +were more than three hundred in number, it amounted to sufficient to +enable him, by stealth, to lay it up into very strong cord, or rather, +into a sort of square plait, known only to sailors. "Now, Peter," said +he one day, "I want nothing more than an umbrella for you." + +"Why an umbrella for me?" + +"To keep you from being drowned with too much water, that's all." + +"Rain won't drown me." + +"No, no, Peter; but buy a new one as soon as you can." + +I did so. O'Brien boiled up a quantity of bees' wax and oil, and gave it +several coats of this preparation. He then put it carefully away in the +ticking of his bed. I asked him whether he intended to make known his +plan to any of the other prisoners; he replied in the negative, saying, +that there were so many of them who could not be trusted, that he +would trust no one. We had been now about two months in Givet, when a +Steel's List was sent to a lieutenant, who was confined there. The +lieutenant came up to O'Brien, and asked him his Christian name. + +"Terence, to be sure," replied O'Brien. + +"Then," answered the lieutenant, "I may congratulate you on your +promotion, for here you are upon the list of August." + +"Sure there must be some trifling mistake; let me look at it. Terence +O'Brien, sure enough; but now the question is, has any other fellow +robbed me of my name and promotion at the same time? Bother, what can it +mane? I won't belave it--not a word of it. I've no more interest than a +dog who drags cats'-meat." + +"Really, O'Brien," observed I, "I cannot see why you should not be made; +I am sure you deserve your promotion for your conduct when you were +taken prisoner." + +"And what did I do then, you simple Peter, but put you on my back as the +men do their hammocks when they are piped down; but, barring all claim, +how could any one know what took place in the battery, except you, and +I, and the armourer, who lay dead? So explain that, Peter, if you can." + +"I think I can," replied I, after the lieutenant had left us. And I then +told O'Brien how I had written to Captain Savage, and had had the fact +attested by the major who had made us prisoners. + +"Well, Peter," said O'Brien, after a pause, "there's a fable about a +lion and a mouse. If, by your means, I have obtained my promotion, why +then the mouse is a finer baste than the lion; but instead of being +happy, I shall now be miserable until the truth is ascertained one way +or the other, and that's another reason why I must set off to England as +fast as I can." + +For a few days after this O'Brien was very uneasy; but fortunately +letters arrived by that time; one to me from my father, in which he +requested me to draw for whatever money I might require, saying that the +whole family would retrench in every way to give me all the comfort +which might be obtained in my unfortunate situation. I wept at his +kindness, and more than ever longed to throw myself in his arms, and +thank him. He also told me that my uncle William was dead, and that +there was only one between him and the title, but that my grandfather +was in good health, and had been very kind to him lately. My mother was +much afflicted at my having been made a prisoner, and requested I would +write as often as I could. O'Brien's letter was from Captain Savage; the +frigate had been sent home with despatches, and O'Brien's conduct +represented to the Admiralty, which had, in consequence, promoted him to +the rank of lieutenant. O'Brien came to me with the letter, his +countenance radiant with joy as he put it into my hands. In return I put +mine into his, and he read it over. + +"Peter, my boy, I'm under great obligations to you. When you were +wounded and feverish, you thought of me at a time when you had quite +enough to think of yourself; but I never thank in words. I see your +uncle William is dead. How many more uncles have you?" + +"My uncle John, who is married, and has already two daughters." + +"Blessings on him; may he stick to the female line of business! Peter, +my boy, you shall be a lord before you die." + +"Nonsense, O'Brien; I have no chance. Don't put such foolish ideas in my +head." + +"What chance had I of being a lieutenant, and am I not one? Well, Peter, +you've helped to make a lieutenant of me, but I'll make a _man_ of you, +and that's better. Peter, I perceive, with all your simplicity, that +you're not over and above simple, and that, with all your asking for +advice, you can think and act for yourself on an emergency. Now, Peter, +these are talents that must not be thrown away in this cursed hole, and +therefore, my boy, prepare yourself to quit this place in a week, wind +and weather permitting; that is to say, not fair wind and weather, but +the fouler the better. Will you be ready at any hour of any night that I +call you up?" + +"Yes, O'Brien, I will, and do my best." + +"No man can do much more that ever I heard of. But, Peter, do me one +favour, as I am really a lieutenant, just touch your hat to me only +once, that's all; but I wish the compliment, just to see how it looks." + +"Lieutenant O'Brien," said I, touching my hat, "have you any further +orders?" + +"Yes, sir," replied he; "that you never presume to touch your hat to me +again, unless we sail together, and then that's a different sort of +thing." + +About a week afterwards, O'Brien came to me, and said, "The new moon's +quartered in with foul weather; if it holds, prepare for a start. I have +put what is necessary in your little haversack; it may be to-night. Go +to bed now, and sleep for a week if you can, for you'll get but little +sleep, if we succeed, for the week to come." + +This was about eight o'clock. I went to bed, and about twelve I was +roused by O'Brien, who told me to dress myself carefully, and come down +to him in the yard. I did so without disturbing any body, and found the +night as dark as pitch (it was then November), and raining in torrents; +the wind was high, howling round the yard, and sweeping in the rain in +every direction as it eddied to and fro. It was some time before I could +find O'Brien, who was hard at work; and, as I had already been made +acquainted with all his plans, I will now explain them. At Montpelier he +had procured six large pieces of iron, about eighteen inches long, with +a gimlet at one end of each, and a square at the other, which fitted to +a handle which unshipped. For precaution he had a spare handle, but each +handle fitted to all the irons. O'Brien had screwed one of these pieces +of iron between the interstices of the stones of which the wall was +built, and sitting astride on that, was fixing another about three feet +above. When he had accomplished this, he stood upon the lower iron, and +supporting himself by the second, which about met his hip, he screwed in +a third, always fixing them about six inches on one side of the other, +and not one above the other. When he had screwed in his six irons, he +was about half up the wall, and then he fastened his rope, which he had +carried round his neck, to the upper iron, and lowering himself down, +unscrewed the four lower irons: then ascending by the rope, he stood +upon the fifth iron, and supporting himself by the upper iron, +recommenced his task. By these means he arrived in the course of an hour +and a half to the top of the wall, where he fixed his last iron, and +making his rope fast, he came down again. "Now, Peter," said he, "there +is no fear of the sentries seeing us; if they had the eyes of cats, they +could not until we were on the top of the wall; but then we arrive at +the glacis, and we must creep to the ramparts on our bellies. I am going +up with all the materials. Give me your haversack--you will go up +lighter; and recollect, should any accident happen to me, you run to bed +again. If, on the contrary, I pull the rope up and down three or four +times, you may sheer up it as fast as you can." O'Brien then loaded +himself with the other rope, the two knapsacks, iron crows, and other +implements he had procured; and, last of all, with the umbrella. "Peter, +if the rope bears me with all this, it is clear it will bear such a +creature as you are, therefore don't be afraid." So whispering, he +commenced his ascent; in about three minutes he was up, and the rope +pulled. I immediately followed him, and found the rope very easy to +climb, from the knots at every two feet, which gave me a hold for my +feet, and I was up in as short a time as he was. He caught me by the +collar, putting his wet hand on my mouth, and I lay down beside him +while he pulled up the rope. We then crawled on our stomachs across the +glacis till we arrived at the rampart. The wind blew tremendously, and +the rain pattered down so fast, that the sentries did not perceive us; +indeed, it was no fault of theirs, for it was impossible to have made us +out. It was some time before O'Brien could find out the point exactly +above the drawbridge of the first ditch; at last he did--he fixed his +crow-bar in, and lowered down the rope. "Now, Peter, I had better go +first again; when I shake the rope from below, all's right." O'Brien +descended, and in a few minutes the rope again shook; I followed him, +and found myself received in his arms upon the meeting of the +drawbridge; but the drawbridge itself was up. O'Brien led the way across +the chains, and I followed him. When we had crossed the moat, we found a +barrier gate locked; this puzzled us. O'Brien pulled out his picklocks +to pick it, but without success; here we were fast. "We must undermine +the gate, O'Brien; we must pull up the pavement until we can creep +under." "Peter, you are a fine fellow; I never thought of that." We +worked very hard until the hole was large enough, using the crow-bar +which was left, and a little wrench which O'Brien had with him. By these +means we got under the gate in the course of an hour or more. This gate +led to the lower rampart, but we had a covered way to pass through +before we arrived at it. We proceeded very cautiously, when we heard a +noise: we stopped, and found that it was a sentry, who was fast asleep, +and snoring. Little expecting to find one here, we were puzzled; pass +him we could not well, as he was stationed on the very spot where we +required to place our crow-bar to descend the lower rampart into the +river. O'Brien thought for a moment. "Peter," said he, "now is the time +for you to prove yourself a man. He is fast asleep, but his noise must +be stopped. I will stop his mouth, but at the very moment that I do so +you must throw open the pan of his musket, and then he cannot fire it." +"I will, O'Brien; don't fear me." We crept cautiously up to him, and +O'Brien motioning to me to put my thumb upon the pan, I did so, and the +moment that O'Brien put his hand upon the soldier's mouth, I threw open +the pan. The fellow struggled, and snapped his lock as a signal, but of +course without discharging his musket, and in a minute he was not only +gagged but bound by O'Brien, with my assistance. Leaving him there, we +proceeded to the rampart, and fixing the crow-bar again, O'Brien +descended; I followed him, and found him in the river, hanging on to the +rope; the umbrella was opened and turned upwards; the preparation made +it resist the water, and, as previously explained to me by O'Brien, I +had only to hold on at arm's length to two beckets which he had affixed +to the point of the umbrella, which was under water. To the same part +O'Brien had a tow-line, which taking in his teeth, he towed me down with +the stream to about a hundred yards clear of the fortress, where we +landed. O'Brien was so exhausted that for a few minutes he remained +quite motionless; I also was benumbed with the cold. "Peter," said he, +"thank God we have succeeded so far; now must we push on as far as we +can, for we shall have daylight in two hours." O'Brien took out his +flask of spirits, and we both drank a half tumbler at least, but we +should not in our state have been affected with a bottle. We now walked +along the river-side till we fell in with a small craft, with a boat +towing astern: O'Brien swam to it, and cutting the painter without +getting in, towed it on shore. The oars were fortunately in the boat. I +got in, we shoved off, and rowed away down the stream till the dawn of +day. "All's right, Peter; now we'll land. This is the Forest of +Ardennes." We landed, replaced the oars in the boat, and pushed her off +into the stream, to induce people to suppose that she had broken adrift, +and then hastened into the thickest of the wood. It still rained hard; I +shivered, and my teeth chattered with the cold, but there was no help +for it. We again took a dram of spirits, and, worn out with fatigue and +excitement, soon fell fast asleep upon a bed of leaves which we had +collected together. + + + + +Chapter XXII + +Grave consequences of gravitation--O'Brien enlists himself as a +gendarme, and takes charge of me--We are discovered, and obliged to run +for it--The pleasures of a winter bivouac. + + +It was not until noon that I awoke, when I found that O'Brien had +covered me more than a foot deep with leaves to protect me from the +weather. I felt quite warm and comfortable; my clothes had dried on me, +but without giving me cold. "How very kind of you, O'Brien!" said I. + +"Not a bit, Peter: you have hard work to go through yet, and I must take +care of you. You're but a bud, and I'm a full-blown rose." So saying, he +put the spirit-flask to his mouth, and then handed it to me. "Now, +Peter, we must make a start, for depend upon it they will scour the +country for us; but this is a large wood, and they may as well attempt +to find a needle in a bundle of hay, if we once get into the heart of +it." + +"I think," said I, "that this forest is mentioned by Shakespeare, in one +of his plays." + +"Very likely, Peter," replied O'Brien; "but we are at no playwork now; +and what reads amazing prettily, is no joke in reality. I've often +observed, that your writers never take the weather into consideration." + +"I beg your pardon, O'Brien; in King Lear the weather was tremendous." + +"Very likely; but who was the king that went out in such weather?" + +"King Lear did, when he was mad." + +"So he was, that's certain, Peter; but runaway prisoners have some +excuse; so now for a start." + +We set off, forcing our way through the thicket, for about three hours, +O'Brien looking occasionally at his pocket compass; it then was again +nearly dark, and O'Brien proposed a halt. We made up a bed of leaves for +the night, and slept much more comfortably than we had the night before. +All our bread was wet, but as we had no water, it was rather a relief; +the meat we had with us was sufficient for a week. Once more we laid +down and fell fast asleep. About five o'clock in the morning I was +roused by O'Brien, who at the same time put his hand gently over my +mouth. I sat up, and perceived a large fire not far from us. "The +Philistines are upon us, Peter," said he; "I have reconnoitred, and they +are the gendarmes. I'm fearful of going away, as we may stumble upon +some more of them. I've been thinking what's best before I waked you; +and it appears to me, that we had better get up the tree, and lie +there." + +At that time we were hidden in a copse of underwood, with a large oak in +the centre, covered with ivy. "I think so too, O'Brien; shall we go up +now, or wait a little?" + +"Now, to be sure, that they're eating their prog. Mount you, Peter, and +I'll help you." + +O'Brien shoved me up the tree, and then waiting a little while to bury +our haversacks among the leaves, he followed me. He desired me to remain +in a very snug position, on the first fork of the tree, while he took +another, amongst a bunch of ivy, on the largest bough. There we remained +for about an hour, when day dawned. We observed the gendarmes mustered +at the break of day, by the corporal, and then they all separated in +different directions, to scour the wood. We were delighted to perceive +this, as we hoped soon to be able to get away; but there was one +gendarme who remained. He walked to and fro, looking everywhere, until +he came directly under the tree in which we were concealed. He poked +about, until at last he came to the bed of leaves upon which we had +slept; these he turned over and over with his bayonet, until he routed +out our haversacks. "Pardi!" exclaimed he, "where the nest and eggs are, +the birds are near." He then walked round the tree, looking up into +every part, but we were well concealed, and he did not discover us for +some time. At last he saw me, and ordered me to come down. I paid no +attention to him, as I had no signal from O'Brien. He walked round a +little farther, until he was directly under the branch on which O'Brien +lay. Taking up this position, he had a fairer aim at me, and levelled +his musket, saying, "_Descendez, ou je tire_." Still I continued +immoveable, for I knew not what to do. I shut my eyes, however; the +musket shortly afterwards was discharged, and, whether from fear or not +I can hardly tell, I lost my hold of a sudden, and down I came. I was +stunned with the fall, and thought that I must have been wounded, and +was very much surprised, when, instead of the gendarme, O'Brien came up +to me, and asked whether I was hurt. I answered, I believed not, and got +upon my legs, when I found the gendarme lying on the ground, breathing +heavily, but insensible. When O'Brien perceived the gendarme level his +musket at me, he immediately dropped from the bough, right upon his +head; this occasioned the musket to go off, without hitting me, and at +the same time, the weight of O'Brien's body from such a height killed +the gendarme, for he expired before we left him. "Now, Peter," said +O'Brien, "this is the most fortunate thing in the world, and will take +us half through the country; but we have no time to lose." He then +stripped the gendarme, who still breathed heavily, and dragging him to +our bed of leaves, covered him up, threw off his own clothes, which he +tied in a bundle, and gave to me to carry, and put on those of the +gendarme. I could not help laughing at the metamorphosis, and asked +O'Brien what he intended. "Sure, I'm a gendarme, bringing with me a +prisoner, who has escaped." He then tied my hands with a cord, +shouldered his musket, and off we set. We now quitted the wood as soon +as we could; for O'Brien said that he had no fear for the next ten days; +and so it proved. We had one difficulty, which was, that we were going +the wrong way; but that was obviated by travelling mostly at night, when +no questions were asked, except at the cabarets, where we lodged, and +they did not know which way we came. When we stopped at night, my youth +excited a great deal of commiseration, especially from the females; and +in one instance I was offered assistance to escape. I consented to it, +but at the same time informed O'Brien of the plan proposed. O'Brien kept +watch--I dressed myself, and was at the open window, when he rushed in, +seizing me, and declaring that he would inform the Government of the +conduct of the parties. Their confusion and distress were very great. +They offered O'Brien twenty, thirty, forty Napoleons, if he would hush +it up, for they were aware of the penalty and imprisonment. O'Brien +replied that he would not accept of any money in compromise of his duty; +that after he had given me into the charge of the gendarme of the next +post, his business was at an end, and he must return to Flushing, where +he was stationed. + +"I have a sister there," replied the hostess, "who keeps an inn. You'll +want good quarters, and a friendly cup; do not denounce us, and I'll +give you a letter to her, which, if it does not prove of service, you +can then return and give the information." + +O'Brien consented; the letter was delivered, and read to him, in which +the sister was requested, by the love she bore to the writer, to do all +she could for the bearer, who had the power of making the whole family +miserable, but had refused so to do. O'Brien pocketed the letter, filled +his brandy-flask, and saluting all the women, left the cabaret, dragging +me after him with a cord. The only difference, as O'Brien observed after +he went out, was, that he (O'Brien) kissed all the women, and all the +women kissed me. In this way, we had proceeded by Charleroy and Louvain, +and were within a few miles of Malines, when a circumstance occurred +which embarrassed us not a little. We were following our route, avoiding +Malines, which was a fortified town, and at the time were in a narrow +lane, with wide ditches, full of water, on each side. At the turning of +a sharp corner, we met the gendarme who had supplied O'Brien with a map +of the town of Givet. "Good morning, comrade," said he to O'Brien, +looking earnestly at him, "whom have we here?" + +"A young Englishman, whom I picked up close by, escaped from prison." + +"Where from?" + +"He will not say; but I suspect from Givet." + +"There are two who have escaped from Givet," replied he: "how they +escaped no one can imagine; but," continued he, again looking at +O'Brien, "_avec les braves, il n'y a rien d'impossible_." + +"That is true," replied O'Brien; "I have taken one, the other cannot be +far off. You had better look for him." + +"I should like to find him," replied the gendarme, "for you know that to +retake a runaway prisoner is certain promotion. You will be made a +corporal." + +"So much the better," replied O'Brien; "_adieu, mon ami_." + +"Nay, I merely came for a walk, and will return with you to Malines, +where of course you are bound." + +"We shall not get there to-night," said O'Brien, "my prisoner is too +much fatigued." + +"Well, then, we will go as far as we can; and I will assist you. Perhaps +we may find the second, who, I understand, obtained a map of the +fortress by some means or other." + +We at once perceived that we were discovered. He afterwards told us that +the body of a gendarme had been found in the wood, no doubt murdered by +the prisoners, and that the body was stripped naked. "I wonder," +continued he, "whether one of the prisoners put on his clothes, and +passed as a gendarme." + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "are we to murder this man or not?" + +"I should say not: pretend to trust him, and then we may give him the +slip." This was said during the time that the gendarme stopped a moment +behind us. + +"Well, we'll try; but first I'll put him off his guard." When the +gendarme came up with us, O'Brien observed, that the English prisoners +were very liberal; that he knew that a hundred Napoleons were often paid +for assistance, and he thought that no corporal's rank was equal to a +sum that would in France make a man happy and independent for life. + +"Very true," replied the gendarme; "and let me only look upon that sum, +and I will guarantee a positive safety out of France." + +"Then we understand each other," replied O'Brien; "this boy will give +two hundred--one half shall be yours, if you will assist." + +"I will think of it," replied the gendarme, who then talked about +indifferent subjects, until we arrived at a small town, called Acarchot, +where we proceeded to a cabaret. The usual curiosity passed over we were +left alone, O'Brien telling the gendarme that he would expect his reply +that night or to-morrow morning. The gendarme said, to-morrow morning. +O'Brien requesting him to take charge of me, he called the woman of the +cabaret to show him a room; she showed him one or two, which he refused, +as not sufficiently safe for the prisoner. The woman laughed at the +idea, observing, "What had he to fear from a _pauvre enfant_ like me?" + +"Yet this _pauvre enfant_ escaped from Givet," replied O'Brien; "these +Englishmen are devils from their birth." The last room showed to O'Brien +suited him, and he chose it--the woman not presuming to contradict a +gendarme. As soon as they came down again, O'Brien ordered me to bed, +and went up-stairs with me. He bolted the door, and pulling me to the +large chimney, we put our heads up, and whispered, that our conversation +should not be heard. "This man is not to be trusted," said O'Brien, "and +we must give him the slip. I know my way out of the inn, and we must +return the way we came, and then strike off in another direction." + +"But will he permit us?" + +"Not if he can help it; but I shall soon find out his manoeuvres." + +O'Brien then went and stopped the key-hole, by hanging his handkerchief +across it, and stripping himself of his gendarme uniform, put on his own +clothes; then he stuffed the blankets and pillow into the gendarme's +dress, and laid it down on the outside of the bed, as if it were a man +sleeping in his clothes--indeed, it was an admirable deception. He laid +his musket by the side of the image, and then did the same to my bed, +making it appear as if there was a person asleep in it, of my size, and +putting my cap on the pillow. "Now, Peter, we'll see if he is watching +us. He will wait till he thinks we are asleep." The light still remained +in the room, and about an hour afterwards we heard a noise of one +treading on the stairs, upon which, as agreed, we crept under the bed. +The latch of our door was tried, and finding it open, which he did not +expect, the gendarme entered, and looking at both beds, went away. +"Now," said I, after the gendarme had gone down-stairs, "O'Brien, ought +we not to escape?" + +"I've been thinking of it, Peter, and I have come to a resolution that +we can manage it better. He is certain to come again in an hour or two. +It is only eleven. Now I'll play him a trick." O'Brien then took one of +the blankets, make it fast to the window, which he left wide open, and +at the same time disarranged the images he had made up, so as to let the +gendarme perceive that they were counterfeit. We again crept under the +bed, and as O'Brien foretold, in about an hour more the gendarme +returned; our lamp was still burning, but he had a light of his own. He +looked at the beds, perceived at once that he had been duped, went to +the open window, and then exclaimed, "_Sacre Dieu! ils m'ont echappés et +je ne suis plus caporal. F----tre! à la chasse_!" He rushed out of the +room, and in a minute afterwards we heard him open the street door, and +go away. + +"That will do, Peter," said O'Brien, laughing; "now we'll be off also, +although there's no great hurry." O'Brien then resumed his dress of a +gendarme; and about an hour afterwards we went down, and wishing the +hostess all happiness, quitted the cabaret, returning the same road by +which we had come. "Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "we're in a bit of a +puzzle. This dress won't do any more, still there's a respectability +about it, which will not allow me to put it off till the last moment." +We walked on till daylight, when we hid ourselves in a copse of trees. +At night we again started for the forest of Ardennes, for O'Brien said +our best chance was to return, until they supposed that we had had time +to effect our escape; but we never reached the forest, for on the next +day a violent snowstorm came on; it continued without intermission for +four days, during which we suffered much. Our money was not exhausted, +as I had drawn upon my father for £60, which, with the disadvantageous +exchange, had given me fifty Napoleons. Occasionally O'Brien crept into +a cabaret, and obtained provisions; but, as we dared not be seen +together as before, we were always obliged to sleep in the open air, the +ground being covered more than three feet with snow. On the fifth day, +being then six days from the forest of Ardennes, we hid ourselves in a +small wood, about a quarter of a mile from the road. I remained there +while O'Brien, as a gendarme, went to obtain provisions. As usual, I +looked out for the best shelter during his absence, and what was my +horror at falling in with a man and woman who lay dead in the snow, +having evidently perished from the weather. Just as I discovered them, +O'Brien returned, and I told him; he went with me to view the bodies. +They were dressed in a strange attire, ribands pinned upon their +clothes, and two pairs of very high stilts lying by their sides. O'Brien +surveyed them, and then said, "Peter, this is the very best thing that +could have happened to us. We may now walk through France without +soiling our feet with the cursed country." + +"How do you mean?" + +"I mean," said he, "that these are the people that we met near +Montpelier, who come from the Landes, walking about on their stilts for +the amusement of others, to obtain money. In their own country they are +obliged to walk so. Now, Peter, it appears to me that the man's clothes +will fit me, and the girl's (poor creature, how pretty she looks, cold +in death!) will fit you. All we have to do is to practise a little, and +then away we start." + +O'Brien then, with some difficulty, pulled off the man's jacket and +trowsers, and having so done, buried him in the snow. The poor girl was +despoiled of her gown and upper petticoat, with every decency, and also +buried. We collected the clothes and stilts, and removed to another +quarter of the wood, where we found a well-sheltered spot, and took our +meal. As we did not travel that night as usual, we had to prepare our +own bed. We scraped away the snow, and made ourselves as comfortable as +we could without a fire, but the weather was dreadful. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "I'm melancholy. Here, drink plenty;" and he +handed me the flask of spirits, which had never been empty. + +"Drink more, Peter." + +"I cannot, O'Brien, without being tipsy." + +"Never mind that, drink more; see how these two poor devils lost their +lives by falling asleep in the snow. Peter," said O'Brien, starting up, +"you sha'n't sleep here--follow me." + +I expostulated in vain. It was almost dark, and he led me to the +village, near which he pitched upon a hovel (a sort of out-house). +"Peter, here is shelter; lie down and sleep, and I'll keep the watch. +Not a word, I will have it--down at once." + +I did so, and in a very few minutes was fast asleep, for I was worn out +with cold and fatigue. For several days we had walked all night, and the +rest we gained by day was trifling. Oh how I longed for a warm bed with +four or five blankets! Just as the day broke, O'Brien roused me; he had +stood sentry all night, and looked very haggard. + +"O'Brien, you are ill," said I. + +"Not a bit; but I've emptied the brandy-flask; and that's a bad job. +However, it is to be remedied." + +We then returned to the wood in a mizzling rain and fog, for the weather +had changed, and the frost had broken up. The thaw was even worse than +the frost, and we felt the cold more. O'Brien again insisted upon my +sleeping in the out-house, but this time I positively refused without he +would also sleep there, pointing out to him, that we ran no more risk, +and perhaps not so much, as if he stayed outside. Finding I was +positive, he at last consented, and we both gained it unperceived. We +lay down, but I did not go to sleep for some time, I was so anxious to +see O'Brien fast asleep. He went in and out several times, during which +I pretended to be fast asleep; at last it rained in torrents, and then +he lay down again, and in a few minutes, overpowered by nature, he fell +fast asleep, snoring so loudly, that I was afraid some one would hear +us. I then got up and watched, occasionally lying down and slumbering +awhile, and then going to the door. + + + + +Chapter XXIII + +Exalted with our success, we march through France without touching the +ground--I become feminine--We are voluntary conscripts. + + +At day-break I called O'Brien, who jumped up in a great hurry. + +"Sure I've been asleep, Peter." + +"Yes, you have," replied I, "and I thank Heaven that you have, for no +one could stand such fatigue as you have, much longer; and if you fall +ill, what would become of me?" This was touching him on the right point. + +"Well, Peter, since there's no harm come of it, there's no harm done. +I've had sleep enough for the next week, that's certain." + +We returned to the wood; the snow had disappeared, and the rain ceased; +the sun shone out from between the clouds, and we felt warm. + +"Don't pass so near that way," said O'Brien, "we shall see the poor +creatures, now that the snow is gone. Peter, we must shift our quarters +to-night, for I have been to every cabaret in the village, and I cannot +go there any more without suspicion, although I am a gendarme." + +We remained there till the evening, and then set off, still returning +towards Givet. About an hour before daylight we arrived at a copse of +trees, close to the road-side, and surrounded by a ditch, not above a +quarter of a mile from a village. "It appears to me," said O'Brien, +"that this will do: I will now put you there, and then go boldly to the +village and see what I can get, for here we must stay at least a week." + +We walked to the copse, and the ditch being rather too wide for me to +leap, O'Brien laid the four stilts together so as to form a bridge, over +which I contrived to walk. Tossing to me all the bundles, and desiring +me to leave the stilts as a bridge for him on his return, he set off to +the village with his musket on his shoulder. He was away two hours, when +he returned with a large supply of provisions, the best we had ever had. +French saucissons, seasoned with garlic, which I thought delightful; +four bottles of brandy, besides his flask; a piece of hung beef and six +loaves of bread, besides half a baked goose and part of a large pie. + +"There," said he, "we have enough for a good week; and look here, Peter, +this is better than all." And he showed me two large horse-rugs. + +"Excellent," replied I; "now we shall be comfortable." + +"I paid honestly for all but these rugs," observed O'Brien; "but I was +afraid to buy them, so I stole them. However, we'll leave them here for +those they belong to--it's only borrowing, after all." + +We now prepared a very comfortable shelter with branches, which we wove +together, and laying the leaves in the sun to dry, soon obtained a soft +bed to put one horse-rug on, while we covered ourselves up with the +other. Our bridge of stilts we had removed, so that we felt ourselves +quite secure from surprise. That evening we did nothing but carouse--the +goose, the pie, the saucissons as big as my arm, were alternately +attacked, and we went to the ditch to drink water, and then ate again. +This was quite happiness to what we had suffered, especially with the +prospect of a good bed. At dark, to bed we went, and slept soundly; I +never felt more refreshed during our wanderings. At daylight O'Brien got +up. + +"Now, Peter, a little practice before breakfast." + +"What practice do you mean?" + +"Mean! why on the stilts. I expect in a week that you'll be able to +dance a gavotte at least; for mind me, Peter, you travel out of France +upon these stilts, depend upon it." + +O'Brien then took the stilts belonging to the man, giving, me those of +the woman. We strapped them to our thighs, and by fixing our backs to a +tree, contrived to get upright upon them; but, at the first attempt to +walk, O'Brien fell to the right, and I fell to the left. O'Brien fell +against a tree, but I fell on my nose, and made it bleed very much; +however, we laughed and got up again, and although we had several falls, +at last we made a better hand of them. We then had some difficulty in +getting down again, but we found out how, by again resorting to a tree. +After breakfast we strapped them on again, and practised, and so we +continued to do for the whole day, when we again attacked our +provisions, and fell asleep under our horse-rug. This continued for five +days, by which time, being constantly on the stilts, we became very +expert; and although I could not dance a gavotte--for I did not know +what that was--I could hop about with them with the greatest ease. + +"One day's more practice," said O'Brien, "for our provisions will last +one day more, and then we start; but this time we must rehearse in +costume." + +O'Brien then dressed me in the poor girl's clothes, and himself in the +man's; they fitted very well, and the last day we practised as man and +woman. + +"Peter, you make a very pretty girl," said O'Brien. "Now, don't you +allow the men to take liberties." + +"Never fear," replied I. "But, O'Brien, as these petticoats are not very +warm, I mean to cut off my trowsers up to my knees, and wear them +underneath." + +"That's all right," said O'Brien, "for you may have a tumble, and then +they may find out that you're not a lady." + +The next morning we made use of our stilts to cross the ditch, and +carrying them in our hands we boldly set off on the high road to +Malines. We met several people, gens-d'armes and others, but with the +exception of some remarks upon my good looks, we passed unnoticed. +Towards the evening we arrived at the village where we had slept in the +outhouse, and as soon as we entered it we put on our stilts, and +commenced a march. When the crowd had gathered we held out our caps, and +receiving nine or ten sous, we entered a cabaret. Many questions were +asked us, as to where we came from, and O'Brien answered, telling lies +innumerable. I played the modest girl, and O'Brien, who stated I was his +sister, appeared very careful and jealous of any attention. We slept +well, and the next morning continued our route to Malines. We very often +put on our stilts for practice on the road, which detained us very much, +and it was not until the eighth day, without any variety or any +interruption, that we arrived at Malines. As we entered the barriers we +put on our stilts, and marched boldly on. The guard at the gate stopped +us, not from suspicion, but to amuse themselves, and I was forced to +submit to several kisses from their garlic lips, before we were allowed +to enter the town. We again mounted on our stilts, for the guard had +forced us to dismount, or they could not have kissed me, every now and +then imitating a dance, until we arrived at the _Grande Place_, where we +stopped opposite the hotel, and commenced a sort of waltz which we had +practised. The people in the hotel looked out of the window to see our +exhibition, and when we had finished I went up to the windows with +O'Brien's cap to collect money. What was my surprise to perceive Colonel +O'Brien looking full in my face, and staring very hard at me;--what was +my greater astonishment at seeing Celeste, who immediately recognised +me, and ran back to the sofa in the room, putting her hands up to her +eyes, and crying out "_C'est lui, c'est lui_!" Fortunately O'Brien was +close to me, or I should have fallen, but he supported me. "Peter, ask +the crowd for money, or you are lost." I did so, and collecting some +pence, then asked him what I should do. "Go back to the window--you can +then judge of what will happen." I returned to the window; Colonel +O'Brien had disappeared, but Celeste was there, as if waiting for me. I +held out the cap to her, and she thrust her hand into it. The cap sank +with the weight. I took out a purse, which I kept closed in my hand, and +put it into my bosom. Celeste then retired from the window, and when she +had gone to the back of the room kissed her hand to me, and went out at +the door. I remained stupefied for a moment, but O'Brien roused me, and +we quitted the _Grande Place_, taking up our quarters at a little +cabaret. On examining the purse, I found fifty Napoleons in it: these +must have been, obtained from her father. I cried over them with +delight. O'Brien was also much affected at the kindness of the colonel. +"He's a real O'Brien, every inch of him," said he: "even this cursed +country can't spoil the breed." + +At the cabaret where we stopped, we were informed, that the officer who +was at the hotel had been appointed to the command of the strong fort of +Bergen-op-Zoom, and was proceeding thither. + +"We must not chance to meet him again, if possible," said O'Brien; "it +would be treading too close upon the heels of his duty. Neither will it +do to appear on stilts among the dikes; so, Peter, we'll just jump on +clear of this town and then we'll trust to our wits." + +We walked out of the town early in the morning, after O'Brien had made +purchases of some of the clothes usually worn by the peasantry. When +within a few miles of St Nicholas, we threw away our stilts and the +clothes which we had on, and dressed ourselves in those O'Brien had +purchased. O'Brien had not forgotten to provide us with two large +brown-coloured blankets, which we strapped on to our shoulders, as the +soldiers do their coats. + +"But what are we to pass for now, O'Brien?" + +"Peter, I will settle that point before night. My wits are working, but +I like to trust to chance for a stray idea or so; we must walk fast, or +we shall be smothered with the snow." + +It was bitter cold weather, and the snow had fallen heavily during the +whole day; but although nearly dusk, there was a bright moon ready for +us. We walked very fast, and soon observed persons ahead of us. "Let us +overtake them, we may obtain some information." As we came up with them, +one of them (they were both lads of seventeen to eighteen) said to +O'Brien, "I thought we were the last, but I was mistaken. How far is it +now to St Nicholas?" + +"How should I know?" replied O'Brien, "I am a stranger in these parts as +well as yourself." + +"From what part of France do you come?" demanded the other, his teeth +chattering with the cold, for he was badly clothed, and with little +defence from the inclement weather. + +"From Montpelier," replied O'Brien. + +"And I from Toulouse. A sad change, comrade, from olives and vines to +such a climate as this. Curse the conscription: I intended to have +taken a little wife next year." + +O'Brien gave me a push, as if to say, "Here's something that will do," +and then continued,-- + +"And curse the conscription I say too, for I had just married, and now +my wife is left to be annoyed by the attention of the _fermier général_. +But it can't be helped. _C'est pour la France et pour la gloire_." + +"We shall be too late to get a billet," replied the other, "and not a +sou have I in my pocket. I doubt if I get up with the main body till +they are at Flushing. By our route, they are at Axel to-day." + +"If we arrive at St Nicholas, we shall do well," replied O'Brien; "but I +have a little money left, and I'll not see a comrade want a supper or a +bed who is going to serve his country. You can repay me when we meet at +Flushing." + +"That I will with thanks," replied the Frenchman; "and so will Jacques +here, if you will trust him." + +"With pleasure," replied O'Brien, who then entered into a long +conversation, by which he drew out from the Frenchmen that a party of +conscripts had been ordered to Flushing, and that they had dropped +behind the main body. O'Brien passed himself off as a conscript +belonging to the party, and me as his brother, who had resolved to join +the army as a drummer, rather than part with him. In about an hour we +arrived at St Nicholas, and after some difficulty obtained entrance into +a cabaret. "_Vive la France_!" said O'Brien, going up to the fire, and +throwing the snow off his hat. In a short time we were seated to a good +supper and very tolerable wine, the hostess sitting down by us, and +listening to the true narratives of the real conscripts, and the false +one of O'Brien. After supper the conscript who first addressed us pulled +out his printed paper, with the route laid down, and observed that we +were two days behind the others. O'Brien read it over, and laid it on +the table, at the same time calling for more wine, having already pushed +it round very freely. We did not drink much ourselves, but plied them +hard, and at last the conscript commenced the whole history of his +intended marriage and his disappointment, tearing his hair, and crying +now and then. "Never mind," interrupted O'Brien, every two or three +minutes, "_buvons un autre coup pour la gloire_!" and thus he continued +to make them both drink until they reeled away to bed, forgetting their +printed paper, which O'Brien had some time before slipped away from the +table. We also retired to our room, when O'Brien observed to me. "Peter, +this description is as much like me as I am to Old Nick; but that's of +no consequence, as nobody goes willingly as a conscript, and therefore +they will never have a doubt but that it is all right. We must be off +early to-morrow, while these good people are in bed, and steal a long +march upon them. I consider that we are now safe as far as Flushing." + + + + +Chapter XXIV + +What occurred at Flushing, and what occurred when we got out of +Flushing. + + +An hour before daybreak we started; the snow was thick on the ground, +but the sky was clear, and without any difficulty or interruption we +passed through the towns of Axel and Halst, arrived at Terneuse on the +fourth day, and went over to Flushing in company with about a dozen more +stragglers from the main body. As we landed, the guard asked us whether +we were conscripts. O'Brien replied that he was, and held out his paper. +They took his name, or rather that of the person it belonged to, down in +a book, and told him that he must apply to the _état major_ before +three o'clock. We passed on delighted with our success, and then O'Brien +pulled out the letter which had been given to him by the woman of the +cabaret, who had offered to assist me to escape, when O'Brien passed off +as a gendarme, and reading the address, demanded his way to the street. +We soon found out the house, and entered. + +"Conscripts!" said the woman of the house, looking at O'Brien; "I am +billeted full already. It must be a mistake. Where is your order?" + +"Read," said O'Brien, handing her the letter. + +She read the letter, and putting it into her neckerchief, desired him to +follow her. O'Brien beckoned me to come, and we went into a small room. +"What can I do for you?" said the woman; "I will do all in my power: +but, alas! you will march from here in two or three days." + +"Never mind," replied O'Brien, "we will talk the matter over by-and-by, +but at present only oblige us by letting us remain in this little room; +we do not wish to be seen." + +"_Comment done_!--you a conscript, and not wish to be seen! Are you, +then, intending to desert?" + +"Answer me one question; you have read that letter, do you intend to act +up to its purport, as your sister requests?" + +"As I hope for mercy I will, if I suffer everything. She is a dear +sister, and would not write so earnestly if she had not strong reason. +My house and everything you command are yours--can I say more?" + +"But," continued O'Brien, "suppose I did intend to desert, would you +then assist me?" + +"At my peril," replied the woman: "have you not assisted my family when +in difficulty?" + +"Well, then, I will not at present detain you from your business; I have +heard you called several times. Let us have dinner when convenient, and +we will remain here." + +"If I have any knowledge of phiz--_what d'ye call it_," observed +O'Brien, after she left us, "there is honesty in that woman, and I must +trust her, but not yet; we must wait till the conscripts have gone." I +agreed with O'Brien, and we remained talking until an hour afterwards, +when the woman brought us our dinner. + +"What is your name?" inquired O'Brien. + +"Louise Eustache; you might have read it on the letter." + +"Are you married?" + +"Oh yes, these six years. My husband is seldom at home; he is a Flushing +pilot. A hard life, harder even than that of a soldier. Who is this +lad?" + +"He is my brother, who, if I go as a soldier, intends to volunteer as a +drummer." + +"_Pauvre enfant! c'est dommage_." + +The cabaret was full of conscripts and other people, so that the hostess +had enough to do. At night, we were shown by her into a small bed-room, +adjoining the room we occupied. "You are quite alone here; the +conscripts are to muster to-morrow, I find, in the _Place d'Armes_, at +two o'clock; do you intend to go?" + +"No," replied O'Brien: "they will think that I am behind. It is of no +consequence." + +"Well," replied the woman, "do as you please, you may trust me: but I am +so busy, without any one to assist me, that until they leave the town, I +can hardly find time to speak to you." + +"That will be soon enough, my good hostess," replied O'Brien: "_au +revoir_." + +The next evening, the woman came in, in some alarm, stating that a +conscript had arrived whose name had been given in before, and that the +person who had given it in, had not mustered at the place. That the +conscript had declared, that his pass had been stolen from him by a +person with whom he had stopped at St Nicholas, and that there were +orders for a strict search to be made through the town, as it was known +that some English officers had escaped, and it was supposed that one of +them had obtained the pass. "Surely you're not English?" inquired the +woman, looking earnestly at O'Brien. + +"Indeed, but I am, my dear," replied O'Brien: "and so is this lad with +me: and the favour which your sister requires is, that you help us over +the water, for which service there are one hundred louis ready to be +paid upon delivery of us." + +"_Oh, mon Dieu! mais c'est impossible_." + +"Impossible!" replied O'Brien; "was that the answer I gave your sister +in her trouble?" + +"_Au moins c'est fort difficile_." + +"That's quite another concern; but with your husband a pilot, I should +think a great part of the difficulty removed." + +"My husband! I've no power over him," replied the woman, putting the +apron up to her eyes. + +"But one hundred louis may have," replied O'Brien. + +"There is truth in that," observed the woman, after a pause, "but what +am I to do, if they come to search the house?" + +"Send us out of it, until you can find an opportunity to send us to +England. I leave it all to you--your sister expects it from you." + +"And she shall not be disappointed, if God helps us," replied the woman, +after a short pause: "but I fear you must leave this house and the town +also to-night." + +"How are we to leave the town?" + +"I will arrange that; be ready at four o'clock, for the gates are shut +at dusk. I must go now, for there is no time to be lost." + +"We are in a nice mess now, O'Brien," observed I, after the woman had +quitted the room. + +"Devil a bit, Peter; I feel no anxiety whatever, except at leaving such +good quarters." + +We packed up all our effects, not forgetting our two blankets, and +waited the return of the hostess. In about an hour she entered the room. +"I have spoken to my husband's sister, who lives about two miles on the +road to Middelburg. She is in town now, for it is market-day, and you +will be safe where she hides you. I told her, it was by my husband's +request, or she would not have consented. Here, boy, put on these +clothes; I will assist you." Once more I was dressed as a girl, and when +my clothes were on, O'Brien burst out into laughter at my blue stockings +and short petticoats. "_Il n'est pas mal_," observed the hostess, as she +fixed a small cap on my head, and then tied a kerchief under my chin, +which partly hid my face. O'Brien put on a greatcoat, which the woman +handed to him, with a wide-brimmed hat. "Now follow me!" She led us into +the street, which was thronged, till we arrived at the market-place, +when she met another woman, who joined her. At the end of the +market-place stood a small horse and cart, into which the strange woman +and I mounted, while O'Brien, by the directions of the landlady, led the +horse through the crowd until we arrived at the barriers, when she +wished us good day in a loud voice before the guard. The guard took no +notice of us, and we passed safely through, and found ourselves upon a +neatly-paved road, as straight as an arrow, and lined on each side with +high trees and a ditch. In about an hour, we stopped near to the +farmhouse of the woman who was in charge of us. "Do you observe that +wood?" said she to O'Brien, pointing to one about half a mile from the +road. "I dare not take you into the house, my husband is so violent +against the English, who captured his schuyt, and made him a poor man, +that he would inform against you immediately; but go you there, make +yourselves as comfortable as you can to-night, and to-morrow I will send +you what you want. _Adieu! Je vous plains, pauvre enfant_." said she, +looking at me, as she drove off in the cart towards her own house. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "I think that her kicking us out of her house is +a proof of her sincerity, and therefore I say no more about it; we have +the brandy-flask to keep up our spirits. Now then for the wood, though, +by the powers, I shall have no relish for any of your pic-nic parties, +as they call them, for the next twelve years." + +"But, O'Brien, how can I get over this ditch in petticoats? I could +hardly leap it in my own clothes." + +"You must tie your petticoats round your waist and make a good run; get +over as far as you can, and I will drag you through the rest." + +"But you forget that we are to sleep in the wood, and that it's no +laughing matter to get wet through, freezing so hard as it does now." + +"Very true, Peter; but as the snow lies so deep upon the ditch, perhaps +the ice may bear. I'll try; if it bears me, it will not condescend to +bend at your shrimp of a carcass." + +O'Brien tried the ice, which was firm, and we both walked over, and +making all the haste we could, arrived at the wood, as the woman called +it, but which was not more than a clump of trees of about half an acre. +We cleared away the snow for about six feet round a very hollow part, +and then O'Brien cut stakes and fixed them in the earth, to which we +stretched one blanket. The snow being about two feet deep, there was +plenty of room to creep underneath the blanket. We then collected all +the leaves we could, beating the snow off them, and laid them at the +bottom of the hole; over the leaves we spread the other blanket, and +taking our bundles in, we then stopped up with snow every side of the +upper blanket, except the hole to creep in at. It was quite astonishing +what a warm place this became in a short time after we had remained in +it. It was almost too warm, although the weather outside was piercingly +cold. After a good meal and a dose of brandy, we both fell fast asleep, +but not until I had taken off my woman's attire and resumed my own +clothes. We never slept better or more warmly than we did in this hole +which we had made on the ground, covered with ice and snow. + + + + +Chapter XXV + +O'Brien parts company to hunt for provisions, and I have other company +in consequence of another hunt--O'Brien pathetically mourns my death and +finds me alive--We escape. + + +The ensuing morning we looked out anxiously for the promised assistance, +for we were not very rich in provisions, although what we had were of a +very good quality. It was not until three o'clock in the afternoon that +we perceived a little girl coming towards us, escorted by a large +mastiff. When she arrived at the copse of trees where we lay concealed, +she cried out to the dog in Dutch, who immediately scoured the wood +until he came to our hiding-place, when he crouched down at the +entrance, barking furiously, and putting us in no small dread, lest he +should attack us; but the little girl spoke to him again, and he +remained in the same position, looking at us, wagging his tail, with his +under jaw lying on the snow. She soon came up, and looking underneath, +put a basket in, and nodded her head. We emptied the basket. O'Brien +took out a napoleon and offered it to her; she refused it, but O'Brien +forced it into her hand, upon which she again spoke to the dog, who +commenced barking so furiously at us, that we expected every moment he +would fly upon us. The girl at the same time presented the napoleon, and +pointing to the dog, I went forward and took the napoleon from her, at +which she immediately silenced the enormous brute, and laughing at us, +hastened away. + +"By the powers, that's a fine little girl!" said O'Brien; "I'll back her +and her dog against any man. Well, I never had a dog set at me for +giving money before, but we live and learn, Peter; now let's see what +she brought in the basket." We found hard-boiled eggs, bread, and a +smoked mutton ham, with a large bottle of gin. "What a nice little girl! +I hope she will often favour us with her company. I've been thinking, +Peter, that we're quite as well off here, as in a midshipman's berth." + +"You forget you are a lieutenant." + +"Well, so I did, Peter, and that's the truth, but it's the force of +habit. Now let's make our dinner. It's a new-fashioned way though, of +making a meal, lying down; but however, it's economical, for it must +take longer to swallow the victuals." + +"The Romans used to eat their meals lying down, so I have read, +O'Brien." + +"I can't say that I ever heard it mentioned in Ireland, but that don't +prove that it was not the case; so, Peter, I'll take your word for it. +Murder! how fast it snows again! I wonder what my father's thinking on +just at this moment." + +This observation of O'Brien induced us to talk about our friends and +relations in England, and after much conversation we fell fast asleep. +The next morning we found the snow had fallen about eight inches, and +weighed down our upper blanket so much, that we were obliged to go out +and cut stakes to support it up from the inside. While we were thus +employed, we heard a loud noise and shouting, and perceived several men, +apparently armed and accompanied with dogs, running straight in the +direction of the wood where we were encamped. We were much alarmed, +thinking that they were in search of us, but on a sudden they turned off +in another direction, continuing with the same speed as before. "What +could it be?" said I, to O'Brien. "I can't exactly say, Peter; but I +should think that they were hunting something, and the only game that I +think likely to be in such a place as this are otters." I was of the +same opinion. We expected the little girl, but she did not come, and +after looking out for her till dark, we crawled into our hole and supped +upon the remainder of our provisions. + +The next day, as may be supposed, we were very anxious for her arrival, +but she did not appear at the time expected. Night again came on, and we +went to bed without having any sustenance, except a small piece of bread +that was left, and some gin which was remaining in the flask. "Peter," +said O'Brien, "if she don't come again to-morrow, I'll try what I can +do; for I've no idea of our dying of hunger here, like the two babes in +the wood, and being found covered up with dead leaves. If she does not +appear at three o'clock, I'm off for provisions, and I don't see much +danger, for in this dress I look as much of a boor as any man in +Holland." + +We passed an uneasy night, as we felt convinced, either that the danger +was so great that they dared not venture to assist us, or, that being +over-ruled, they had betrayed us, and left us to manage how we could. +The next morning I climbed up the only large tree in the copse and +looked round, especially in the direction of the farm-house belonging to +the woman who had pointed out to us our place of concealment; but +nothing was to be seen but one vast tract of flat country covered with +snow, and now and then a vehicle passing at a distance on the Middelburg +road. I descended, and found O'Brien preparing for a start. He was very +melancholy, and said to me, "Peter, if I am taken, you must, at all +risks, put on your girl's clothes and go to Flushing to the cabaret. The +women there, I am sure, will protect you, and send you back to England. +I only want two napoleons; take all the rest, you will require them. If +I am not back by to-night, set off for Flushing to-morrow morning." +O'Brien waited some time longer, talking with me, and it then being past +four o'clock, he shook me by the hand, and, without speaking, left the +wood. I never felt more miserable during the whole time since we were +first put into prison at Toulon, till that moment, and, when he was a +hundred yards off, I knelt down and prayed. He had been absent two +hours, and it was quite dusk, when I heard a noise at a distance: it +advanced every moment nearer and nearer. On a sudden, I heard a rustling +of the bushes, and hastened under the blanket, which was covered with +snow, in hopes that they might not perceive the entrance; but I was +hardly there before in dashed after me an enormous wolf. I cried out, +expecting to be torn to pieces every moment, but the creature lay on his +belly, his mouth wide open, his eyes glaring, and his long tongue +hanging out of his mouth, and although he touched me, he was so +exhausted that he did not attack me. The noise increased, and I +immediately perceived that it was the hunters in pursuit of him. I had +crawled in feet first, the wolf ran in head foremost, so that we lay +head and tail. I crept out as fast as I could, and perceived men and +dogs not two hundred yards off in full chase. I hastened to the large +tree, and had not ascended six feet when they came up; the dogs flew to +the hole, and in a very short time the wolf was killed. The hunters +being too busy to observe me, I had in the meantime climbed up the trunk +of the tree, and hidden myself as well as I could. Being not fifteen +yards from them, I heard their expressions of surprise as they lifted up +the blanket and dragged out the dead wolf, which they carried away with +them; their conversation being in Dutch, I could not understand it, but +I was certain that they made use of the word "_English_." The hunters +and dogs quitted the copse, and I was about to descend, when one of them +returned, and pulling up the blankets, rolled them together and walked +away with them. Fortunately he did not perceive our bundles by the +little light given by the moon. I waited a short time and then came +down. What to do I knew not. If I did not remain and O'Brien returned, +what would he think? If I did, I should be dead with cold before the +morning. I looked for our bundles, and found that in the conflict +between the dogs and the wolf, they had been buried among the leaves. I +recollected O'Brien's advice, and dressed myself in the girl's clothes, +but I could not make up my mind to go to Flushing. So I resolved to walk +towards the farmhouse, which, being close to the road, would give me a +chance of meeting with O'Brien. I soon arrived there and prowled round +it for some time, but the doors and windows were all fast, and I dared +not knock, after what the woman had said about her husband's inveteracy +to the English. At last, as I looked round and round, quite at a loss +what to do, I thought I saw a figure at a distance proceeding in the +direction of the copse. I hastened after it and saw it enter. I then +advanced very cautiously, for although I thought it might be O'Brien, +yet it was possible that it was one of the men who chased the wolf in +search of more plunder. But I soon heard O'Brien's voice, and I hastened +towards him. I was close to him without his perceiving me, and found him +sitting down with his face covered up in his two hands. At last he +cried, "O Pater! my poor Pater! are you taken at last? Could I not leave +you for one hour in safety? Ochone! why did I leave you? My poor, poor +Pater! simple you were, sure enough, and that's why I loved you; but, +Pater, I would have made a man of you, for you'd all the materials, +that's the truth--and a fine man, too. Where am I to look for you, +Pater? Where am I to find you, Pater? You're fast locked up by this +time, and all my trouble's gone for nothing. But I'll be locked up too, +Pater. Where you are, will I be; and if we can't go to England together, +why then we'll go back to that blackguard hole at Givet together. +Ochone! Ochone!" O'Brien spoke no more, but burst into tears. I was much +affected with this proof of O'Brien's sincere regard, and I came to his +side and clasped him in my arms. O'Brien stared at me, "Who are you, you +ugly Dutch frow?" (for he had quite forgotten the woman's dress at the +moment), but recollecting himself, he hugged me in his arms. "Pater, you +come as near to an angel's shape as you can, for you come in that of a +woman, to comfort me; for, to tell the truth, I was very much distressed +at not finding you here; and all the blankets gone to boot. What has +been the matter?" I explained in as few words as I could. + +"Well, Peter, I'm happy to find you all safe, and much happier to find +that you can be trusted when I leave you, for you could not have behaved +more prudently; now I'll tell you what I did, which was not much, as it +happened. I knew that there was no cabaret between us and Flushing, for +I took particular notice as I came along; so I took the road to +Middelburg, and found but one, which was full of soldiers. I passed it, +and found no other. As I came back past the same cabaret, one of the +soldiers came out to me, but I walked along the road. He quickened his +pace, and so did I mine, for I expected mischief. At last he came up to +me, and spoke to me in Dutch, to which I gave him no answer. He collared +me, and then I thought it convenient to pretend that I was deaf and +dumb. I pointed to my mouth with an Au--au--and then to my ears, and +shook my head; but he would not be convinced, and I heard him say +something about English. I then knew that there was no time to be lost, +so I first burst out into a loud laugh and stopped; and on his +attempting to force me, I kicked up his heels, and he fell on the ice +with such a rap on the pate, that I doubt if he has recovered it by this +time. There I left him, and have run back as hard as I could, without +anything for Peter to fill his little hungry inside with. Now, Peter, +what's your opinion? for they say that out of the mouth of babes there +is wisdom; and although I never saw anything come out of their mouths +but sour milk, yet perhaps I may be more fortunate this time, for, +Peter, you're but a baby." + +"Not a small one, O'Brien, although not quite so large as Fingal's +_babby_ that you told me the story of. My idea is this.--Let us, at all +hazards, go to the farmhouse. They have assisted us, and may be inclined +to do so again; if they refuse, we must push on to Flushing and take our +chance." + +"Well," observed O'Brien, after a pause, "I think we can do no better, +so let's be off." We went to the farmhouse, and, as we approached the +door, were met by the great mastiff. I started back, O'Brien boldly +advanced. "He's a clever dog, and may know us again. I'll go up," said +O'Brien, not stopping while he spoke, "and pat his head: if he flies at +me, I shall be no worse than I was before, for depend upon it he will +not allow us to go back again." O'Brien by this time had advanced to the +dog, who looked earnestly and angrily at him. He patted his head, the +dog growled, but O'Brien put his arm round his neck, and patting him +again, whistled to him, and went to the door of the farmhouse. The dog +followed him silently but closely. O'Brien knocked, and the door was +opened by the little girl: the mastiff advanced to the girl, and then +turned round, facing O'Brien, as much as to say, "Is he to come in?" The +girl spoke to the dog, and went indoors. During her absence the mastiff +lay down at the threshold. In a few seconds the woman who had brought us +from Flushing, came out, and desired us to enter. She spoke very good +French, and told us that fortunately her husband was absent; that the +reason why we had not been supplied was, that a wolf had met her little +girl returning the other day, but had been beaten off by the mastiff, +and that she was afraid to allow her to go again; that she heard the +wolf had been killed this evening, and had intended her girl to have +gone to us early to-morrow morning; that wolves were hardly known in +that country, but that the severe winter had brought them down to the +lowlands, a very rare circumstance, occurring perhaps not once in twenty +years. "But how did you pass the mastiff?" said she; "that has surprised +my daughter and me." O'Brien told her, upon which she said "that the +English were really '_des braves_.' No other man had ever done the +same." So I thought, for nothing would have induced me to do it. O'Brien +then told the history of the death of the wolf, with all particulars, +and our intention, if we could not do better, of returning to Flushing. + +"I heard that Pierre Eustache came home yesterday," replied the woman; +"and I do think that you will be safer there than here, for they will +never think of looking for you among the _casernes_, which join their +cabaret." + +"Will you lend us your assistance to get in?" + +"I will see what I can do. But are you not hungry?" + +"About as hungry as men who have eaten nothing for two days." + +"_Mon Dieu! c'est vrai._ I never thought it was so long, but those whose +stomachs are filled forget those who are empty. God make us better and +more charitable!" + +She spoke to the little girl in Dutch, who hastened to load the table, +which we hastened to empty. The little girl stared at our voracity; but +at last she laughed out, and clapped her hands at every fresh mouthful +which we took, and pressed us to eat more. She allowed me to kiss her, +until her mother told her that I was not a woman, when she pouted at me, +and beat me off. Before midnight we were fast asleep upon the benches +before the kitchen fire, and at daybreak were roused up by the woman, +who offered us some bread and spirits, and then we went out to the door, +where we found the horse and cart all ready, and loaded with vegetables +for the market. The woman, the little girl, and myself got in, O'Brien +leading as before, and the mastiff following. We had learnt the dog's +name, which was "_Achille_," and he seemed to be quite fond of us. We +passed the dreaded barriers without interruption, and in ten minutes +entered the cabaret of Eustache; and immediately walked into the little +room through a crowd of soldiers, two of whom chucked me under the chin. +Whom should we find there but Eustache, the pilot himself, in +conversation with his wife, and it appeared that they were talking about +us, she insisting, and he unwilling to have any hand in the business. +"Well, here they are themselves, Eustache; the soldiers who have seen +them come in will never believe that this is their first entry if you +give them up. I leave them to make their own bargain; but mark me, +Eustache, I have slaved night and day in this cabaret for your profit; +if you do not oblige me and my family, I no longer keep a cabaret for +you." + +Madame Eustache then quitted the room with her husband's sister and +little girl, and O'Brien immediately accosted him. "I promise you," said +he to Eustache, "one hundred louis if you put us on shore at any part of +England, or on board of any English man-of-war; and if you do it within +a week, I will make it twenty louis more." O'Brien then pulled out the +fifty napoleons given us by Celeste, for our own were not yet expended, +and laid them on the table. "Here is this in advance, to prove my +sincerity. Say, is it a bargain or not?" + +"I never yet heard of a poor man who could withstand his wife's +arguments, backed with one hundred and twenty louis," said Eustache +smiling, and sweeping the money off the table. + +"I presume you have no objection to start to-night? That will be ten +louis more in your favour," replied O'Brien. + +"I shall earn them," replied Eustache. "The sooner I am off the better, +for I could not long conceal you here. The young frow with you is, I +suppose, your companion that my wife mentioned. He has begun to suffer +hardships early. Come, now, sit down and talk, for nothing can be done +till dark." + +O'Brien narrated the adventures attending our escape, at which Eustache +laughed heartily; the more so, at the mistake which his wife was under, +as to the obligations of the family. "If I did not feel inclined to +assist you before, I do now, just for the laugh I shall have at her when +I come back, and if she wants any more assistance for the sake of her +relations, I shall remind her of this anecdote; but she's a good woman +and a good wife to boot, only too fond of her sisters." At dusk he +equipped us both in sailor's jackets and trowsers, and desired us to +follow him boldly. He passed the guard, who knew him well. "What, to sea +already?" said one. "You have quarrelled with your wife." At which they +all laughed, and we joined. We gained the beach, jumped into his little +boat, pulled off to his vessel, and, in a few minutes, were under weigh. +With a strong tide and a fair wind we were soon clear of the Scheldt, +and the next morning a cutter hove in sight. We steered for her, ran +under her lee, O'Brien hailed for a boat, and Eustache, receiving my +bill for the remainder of his money, wished us success; we shook hands, +and in a few minutes found ourselves once more under the British +pennant. + + + + +Chapter XXVI + +Adventures at home--I am introduced to my grandfather--He obtains +employment for O'Brien and myself, and we join a frigate. + + +As soon as we were on the deck of the cutter, the lieutenant commanding +her inquired of us, in a consequential manner, who we were. O'Brien +replied that we were English prisoners who had escaped. "Oh, midshipmen, +I presume," replied the lieutenant; "I heard that some had contrived to +get away." + +"My name, sir," said O'Brien, "is Lieutenant O'Brien; and if you'll send +for a 'Steel's List,' I will have the honour of pointing it out to you. +This young gentleman is Mr Peter Simple, midshipman, and grandson to the +Right Honourable Lord Viscount Privilege." + +The lieutenant, who was a little snub-nosed man, with a pimply face, +then altered his manner towards us, and begged we would step down into +the cabin, where he offered, what perhaps was the greatest of all +luxuries to us, some English cheese and bottled porter. "Pray," said he, +"did you see anything of one of my officers, who was taken prisoner when +I was sent with despatches to the Mediterranean fleet?" + +"May I first ask the name of your lively little craft?" said O'Brien. + +"'The Snapper,'" replied the lieutenant. + +"Och, murder; sure enough we met him. He was sent to Verdun, but we had +the pleasure of his company _en route_ as far as Montpelier. A +remarkably genteel, well-dressed young man, was he not?" + +"Why, I can't say much about his gentility; indeed, I am not much of a +judge. As for his dress, he ought to have dressed well, but he never did +when on board of me. His father is my tailor, and I took him as +midshipman, just to square an account between us." + +"That's exactly what I thought," replied O'Brien. + +He did not say any more, which I was glad of, as the lieutenant might +not have been pleased at what had occurred. + +"When do you expect to run into port?" demanded O'Brien; for we were +rather anxious to put our feet ashore again in old England. The +lieutenant replied that his cruise was nearly up; and he considered our +arrival quite sufficient reason for him to run in directly, and that he +intended to put his helm up after the people had had their dinner. We +were much delighted with this intelligence, and still more to see the +intention put into execution half an hour afterwards. + +In three days we anchored at Spithead, and went on shore with the +lieutenant to report ourselves to the admiral. Oh! with what joy did I +first put my foot on the shingle beach at Sallyport, and then hasten to +the post-office to put in a long letter which I had written to my +mother. We did not go to the admiral's, but merely reported ourselves at +the admiral's office; for we had no clothes fit to appear in. But we +called at Meredith's the tailor, and he promised that, by the next +morning, we should be fitted complete. We then ordered new hats, and +everything we required, and went to the Fountain inn. O'Brien refused to +go to the Blue Posts, as being only a receptacle for midshipmen. By +eleven o'clock the next morning, we were fit to appear before the +admiral, who received us very kindly, and requested our company to +dinner. As I did not intend setting off for home until I had received an +answer from my mother, we, of course, accepted the invitation. + +There was a large party of naval officers and ladies, and O'Brien amused +them very much during dinner. When the ladies left the room, the +admiral's wife told me to come up with them; and when we arrived at the +drawing-room, the ladies all gathered round me, and I had to narrate the +whole of my adventures, which very much entertained and interested them. +The next morning I received a letter from my mother--such a kind one! +entreating me to come home as fast as I could, and bring my _preserver_ +O'Brien with me. I showed it to O'Brien, and asked him whether he would +accompany me. + +"Why, Peter, my boy, I have a little business of some importance to +transact; which is, to obtain my arrears of pay, and some prize-money +which I find due. When I have settled that point, I will go to town to +pay my respects to the First Lord of the Admiralty, and then I think I +will go and see your father and mother: for, until I know how matters +stand, and whether I shall be able to go with spare cash in my pocket, I +do not wish to see my own family; so write down your address here, and +you'll be sure I'll come, if it is only to square my accounts with you, +for I am not a little in your debt." + +I cashed a cheque sent by my father, and set off in the mail that night; +the next evening I arrived safe home. But I shall leave the reader to +imagine the scene: to my mother I was always dear, and circumstances had +rendered me of some importance to my father; for I was now an only son, +and his prospects were very different from what they were when I left +home. About a week afterwards, O'Brien joined us, having got through all +his business. His first act was to account with my father for his share +of the expenses; and he even insisted upon paying his half of the fifty +napoleons given me by Celeste, which had been remitted to a banker at +Paris before O'Brien's arrival, with a guarded letter of thanks from my +father to Colonel O'Brien, and another from me to dear little Celeste. +When O'Brien had remained with us about a week, he told me that he had +about one hundred and sixty pounds in his pocket, and that he intended +to go and see his friends, as he was sure that he would be welcome even +to Father M'Grath. "I mean to stay with them about a fortnight, and +shall then return and apply for employment. Now, Peter, will you like to +be again under my protection?" + +"O'Brien, I will never quit you or your ship, if I can help it." + +"Spoken like a sensible Peter. Well, then, I was promised immediate +employment, and I will let you know as soon as the promise is +performed." + +O'Brien took his leave of my family, who were already very partial to +him, and left that afternoon for Holyhead. My father no longer treated +me as a child; indeed, it would have been an injustice if he had. I do +not mean to say that I was a clever boy; but I had seen much of the +world in a short time, and could act and think for myself. He often +talked to me about his prospects, which were very different from what +they were when I left him. My two uncles, his elder brothers, had died, +the third was married and had two daughters. If he had no son, my father +would succeed to the title. The death of my elder brother Tom had +brought me next in succession. My grandfather, Lord Privilege, who had +taken no more notice of my father than occasionally sending him a basket +of game, had latterly often invited him to the house, and had even +requested, _some day or another_, to see his wife and family. He had +also made a handsome addition to my father's income, which the death of +my two uncles had enabled him to do. Against all this, my uncle's wife +was reported to be again in the family way. I cannot say that I was +pleased when my father used to speculate upon these chances so often as +he did. I thought, not only as a man, but more particularly as a +clergyman, he was much to blame; but I did not know then so much of the +world. We had not heard from O'Brien for two months, when a letter +arrived, stating that he had seen his family, and bought a few acres of +land, which had made them all quite happy, and had quitted with Father +M'Grath's double blessing, with unlimited absolution; that he had now +been a month in town trying for employment, but found that he could not +obtain it, although one promise was backed up by another. + +A few days after this, my father received a note from Lord Privilege, +requesting he would come and spend a few days with him, and bring his +son Peter who had escaped from the French prison. Of course this was an +invitation not to be neglected, and we accepted it forthwith. I must +say, I felt rather in awe of my grandfather; he had kept the family at +such a distance, that I had always heard his name mentioned more with +reverence than with any feeling of kindred, but I was a little wiser +now. We arrived at Eagle Park, a splendid estate, where he resided, and +were received by a dozen servants in and out of livery, and ushered into +his presence. He was in his library, a large room, surrounded with +handsome bookcases, sitting on an easy chair. A more venerable, placid +old gentleman I never beheld; his grey hairs hung down on each side of +his temples, and were collected in a small _queue_ behind. He rose and +bowed, as we were announced; to my father he held out _two_ fingers in +salutation, to me only _one_, but there was an elegance in the manner in +which it was done which was indescribable. He waved his hand to chairs, +placed by the _gentleman_ out of livery, and requested we would be +seated. I could not, at the time, help thinking of Mr Chucks, the +boatswain, and his remarks upon high breeding, which were so true: and I +laughed to myself when I recollected that Mr Chucks had once dined with +him. As soon as the servants had quitted the room, the distance on the +part of my grandfather appeared to wear off. He interrogated me on +several points, and seemed pleased with my replies; but he always called +me "child." After a conversation of half an hour, my father rose, saying +that his lordship must be busy, and that we would go over the grounds +till dinner-time. My grandfather rose, and we took a sort of formal +leave; but it was not a formal leave, after all, it was high breeding, +respecting yourself and respecting others. For my part, I was pleased +with the first interview, and so I told my father after we had left the +room. "My dear Peter," replied he, "your grandfather has one idea which +absorbs most others--the peerage, the estate, and the descent of it in +the right line. As long as your uncles were alive, we were not thought +of, as not being in the line of descent; nor should we now, but that +your uncle William has only daughters. Still we are not looked upon as +actual, but only contingent, inheritors of the title. Were your uncle to +die to-morrow, the difference in his behaviour would be manifested +immediately." + +"That is to say, instead of _two fingers_ you would receive the _whole_ +hand, and instead of _one_ finger, I should obtain promotion to _two_." + +At this my father laughed heartily, saying, "Peter, you have exactly hit +the mark. I cannot imagine how we ever could have been so blind as to +call you the fool of the family." + +To this I made no reply, for it was difficult so to do without +depreciating others or depreciating myself; but I changed the subject by +commenting on the beauties of the park, and the splendid timber with +which it was adorned. "Yes, Peter," replied my father, with a sigh, +"thirty-five thousand a year in land, money in the funds, and timber +worth at least forty thousand more, are not to be despised. But God +wills everything." After this remark, my father appeared to be in deep +thought, and I did not interrupt him. + +We stayed ten days with my grandfather, during which he would often +detain me for two hours after breakfast, listening to my adventures, and +I really believe was very partial to me. The day before I went away he +said, "Child, you are going to-morrow; now tell me what you would like, +as I wish to give you a token of regard. Don't be afraid; what shall it +be--a watch and seals, or--anything you most fancy?" + +"My lord," replied I, "if you wish to do me a favour, it is, that you +will apply to the First Lord of the Admiralty to appoint Lieutenant +O'Brien to a fine frigate, and, at the same time, ask for a vacancy as +midshipman for me." + +"O'Brien!" replied his lordship; "I recollect it was he who accompanied +you from France, and appears, by your account, to have been a true +friend. I am pleased with your request, my child, and it shall be +granted." + +His lordship then desired me to hand him the paper and ink-standish, +wrote by my directions, sealed the letter, and told me he would send me +the answer. The next day we quitted Eagle Park, his lordship wishing my +father good-bye with _two_ fingers, and to me extending _one_, as +before; but he said, "I am pleased with you, child; you may write +occasionally." + +When we were on our route home, my father observed that "I had made more +progress with my grandfather than he had known anyone to do, since he +could recollect. His saying that you might write to him is at least ten +thousand pounds to you in his will, for he never deceives any one, or +changes his mind." My reply was, that I should like to see the ten +thousand pounds, but that I was not so sanguine. + +A few days after our return home, I received a letter and enclosure from +Lord Privilege, the contents of which were as follow:-- + +"My dear Child,--I send you Lord----'s answer, which I trust will prove +satisfactory. My compliments to your family.--Yours, &c., PRIVILEGE." + +The inclosure was a handsome letter from the First Lord, stating that he +had appointed O'Brien to the _Sanglier_ frigate, and had ordered me to +be received on board as midshipman. I was delighted to forward this +letter to O'Brien's address, who, in a few days sent me an answer, +thanking me, and stating that he had received his 'appointment, and that +I need not join for a month, which was quite time enough, as the ship +was refitting; but, that if my family were tired of me, which was +sometimes the case in the best regulated families, why, then I should +learn something of my duty by coming to Portsmouth. He concluded by +sending his kind regards to all the family, and his _love_ to my +grandfather, which last I certainly did not forward in my letter of +thanks. About a month afterwards I received a letter from O'Brien, +stating that the ship was ready to go out of harbour, and would be +anchored off Spithead in a few days. + + + + +Chapter XXVII + +Captain and Mrs To--Pork--We go to Plymouth, and fall in with our old +Captain. + + +I immediately took leave of my family, and set off for Portsmouth, and +in two days arrived at the Fountain inn, where O'Brien was waiting to +receive me. "Peter, my boy, I feel so much obliged to you, that if your +uncle won't go out of the world by fair means, I'll pick a quarrel with +him, and shoot him, on purpose that you may be a lord, as I am +determined you shall be. Now come up into my room, where we'll be all +alone, and I'll tell you all about the ship and our new captain. In the +first place, we'll begin with the ship, as the most important personage +of the two: she's a beauty, I forget her name before she was taken, but +the French know how to build ships better than keep them. She's now +called the _Sanglier_, which means a wild pig, and, by the powers! a +_pig_ ship she is, as you will hear directly. The captain's name is a +very short one, and wouldn't please Mr Chucks, consisting only of two +letters, T and O, which makes To; his whole title is Captain John To. It +would almost appear as if somebody had broken off the better half of his +name, and only left him the commencement of it; but, however, it's a +handy name to sign when he pays off his ship. And now I'll tell you what +sort of a looking craft he is. He's built like a Dutch schuyt, great +breadth of beam, and very square tuck. He applied to have the quarter +galleries enlarged in the two last ships he commanded. He weighs about +eighteen stone, rather more than less. He is a good-natured sort of a +chap, amazingly ungenteel, not much of an officer, not much of a sailor, +but a devilish good hand at the trencher. But he's only part of the +concern; he has his wife on board, who is a red-herring sort of a lady, +and very troublesome to boot. What makes her still more annoying is, +that she has a _piano_ on board, very much out of _tune_, on which she +plays very much out of _time_. Holystoning is music compared with her +playing: even the captain's spaniel howls when she comes to the high +notes; but she affects the fine lady, and always treats the officers +with music when they dine in the cabin, which makes them very glad to +get out of it." + +"But, O'Brien, I thought wives were not permitted on board." + +"Very true, but there's the worst part in the man's character: he knows +that he is not allowed to take his wife to sea, and, in consequence, he +never says she _is_ his wife, or presents her on shore to anybody. If +any of the other captains ask how Mrs To is to-day? 'Why,' he replies, +'pretty well, I thank you;' but at the same time he gives a kind of +smirk, as if to say, 'She is not my wife;' and although everybody knows +that she is, yet he prefers that they should think otherwise, rather +than be at the expense of keeping her on shore; for you know, Peter, +that although there are regulations about wives, there are none with +regard to other women." + +"But does his wife know this?" inquired I. + +"I believe, from my heart, she is a party to the whole transaction, for +report says, that she would skin a flint if she could. She's always +trying for presents from the officers, and, in fact, she commands the +ship." + +"Really, O'Brien, this is not a very pleasant prospect." + +"Whist! wait a little; now I come to the wind-up. This Captain To is +very partial to pig's _mate_, and we have as many live pigs on board as +we have pigs of ballast. The first lieutenant is right mad about them. +At the same time he allows no pigs but his own on board, that there may +be no confusion. The manger is full of pigs; there are two cow-pens +between the main-deck guns, drawn from the dock-yard, and converted into +pig-pens. The two sheep-pens amidships are full of pigs, and the geese +and turkey-coops are divided off into apartments for four _sows_ in the +_family way_. Now, Peter, you see there's little or no expense in +keeping pigs on board of a large frigate, with so much _pay_-soup and +whole peas for them to eat, and this is the reason why he keeps them, +for the devil a bit of any other stock has he on board. I presume he +means to _milk_ one of the _old sows_ for breakfast when the ship sails. +The first thing that he does in the morning, is to go round to his pigs +with the butcher, feeling one, scratching the dirty ears of another, and +then he classes them--his _bacon_ pigs, his _porkers_, his _breeding_ +sows, and so on. The old boar is still at the stables of this inn, but I +hear he is to come on board with the sailing orders: but he is very +savage, and is therefore left on shore to the very last moment. Now +really, Peter, what with the squealing of the pigs and his wife's piano, +we are almost driven mad. I don't know which is the worse of the two; if +you go aft you hear the one, if you go forward you hear the other, by +way of variety, and that, they say, is charming. But, is it not shocking +that such a beautiful frigate should be turned into a pig-sty, and that +her main-deck should smell worse than a muckheap?" + +"But how does his wife like the idea of living only upon hog's flesh?" + +"She! Lord bless you, Peter! why, she looks as spare as a shark, and she +has just the appetite of one, for she'll _bolt_ a four-pound piece of +pork before it's well put on her plate." + +"Have you any more such pleasant intelligence to communicate, O'Brien?" + +"No, Peter; you have the worst of it. The lieutenants are good officers +and pleasant messmates: the doctor is a little queer, and the purser +thinks himself a wag; the master, an old north-countryman, who knows his +duty, and takes his glass of grog. The midshipmen are a very genteel set +of young men, and full of fun and frolic. I'll bet a wager there'll be a +bobbery in the pig-sty before long, for they are ripe for mischief. Now, +Peter, I hardly need say that my cabin and everything I have is at your +service; and I think if we could only have a devil of a gale of wind, or +a hard-fought action, to send the _pigs_ overboard and smash the +_piano_, we should do very well." + +The next day I went on board, and was shown down into the cabin, to +report my having joined. Mrs To, a tall thin woman, was at her piano; +she rose, and asked me several questions--who my friends were--how much +they allowed me a year, and many other questions, which I thought +impertinent: but a captain's wife is allowed to take liberties. She then +asked me if I was fond of music? That was a difficult question, as, if I +said that I was, I should in all probability be obliged to hear it: if I +said that I was not, I might have created a dislike in her. So I +replied, that I was very fond of music on shore, when it was not +interrupted by other noise. "Ah! then I perceive you are a real amateur, +Mr Simple," replied the lady. + +Captain To then came out of the after-cabin, half-dressed. "Well, +youngster, so you've joined us at last. Come and dine with us to-day? +and, as you go down to your berth, desire the sentry to pass the word +for the butcher; I want to speak with him." + +I bowed and retired. I was met in the most friendly manner by the +officers and by my own messmates, who had been prepossessed in my favour +by O'Brien, previous to my arrival. In our service you always find young +men of the best families on board large frigates, they being considered +the most eligible class of vessels; I found my messmates to be +gentlemen, with one or two exceptions, but I never met so many wild +young lads together. I sat down and ate some dinner with them, although +I was to dine in the cabin, for the sea air made me hungry. + +"Don't you dine in the cabin, Simple?" said the caterer. + +"Yes," replied I. + +"Then don't eat any pork, my boy, now, for you'll have plenty there. +Come, gentlemen, fill your glasses; we'll drink happiness to our new +messmate, and pledging him, we pledge ourselves to try to promote it." + +"I'll just join you in that toast," said O'Brien, walking into the +midshipmen's berth. "What is it you're drinking it in?" + +"Some of Collier's port, sir. Boy, bring a glass for Mr O'Brien." + +"Here's your health, Peter, and wishing you may keep out of a French +prison this cruise. Mr Montague, as caterer, I will beg you will order +another candle, that I may see what's on the table, and then perhaps I +may find something I should like to pick a bit off." + +"Here's the fag end of a leg of mutton, Mr O'Brien, and there's a piece +of boiled pork." + +"Then I'll just trouble you for a bit close to the knuckle. Peter, you +dine in the cabin, so do I--the doctor refused." + +"Have you heard when we sail, Mr O'Brien?" inquired one of my messmates. + +"I heard at the admiral's office, that we were expected to be ordered +round to Plymouth, and receive our orders there, either for the East or +West Indies, they thought; and, indeed, the stores we have taken on +board indicate that we are going foreign, but the captain's signal is +just made, and probably the admiral has intelligence to communicate." + +In about an hour afterwards, the captain returned, looking very red and +hot. He called the first lieutenant aside from the rest of the officers, +who were on deck to receive him, and told him, that we were to start for +Plymouth next morning; and the admiral had told him confidentially, that +we were to proceed to the West Indies with a convoy, which was then +collecting. He appeared to be very much alarmed at the idea of going to +make a feast for the land crabs; and certainly, his gross habit of body +rendered him very unfit for the climate. This news was soon spread +through the ship, and there was of course no little bustle and +preparation. The doctor, who had refused to dine in the cabin upon plea +of being unwell, sent up to say, that he felt himself so much better, +that he should have great pleasure to attend the summons, and he joined +the first lieutenant, O'Brien, and me, as we walked in. We sat down to +table; the covers were removed, and as the midshipmen prophesied, there +was plenty of _pork_--mock-turtle soup, made out of a pig's head--a +boiled leg of pork and peas-pudding--a roast spare-rib, with the +crackling on--sausages and potatoes, and pig's pettitoes. I cannot say +that I disliked my dinner, and I ate very heartily; but a roast +sucking-pig came on as a second course, which rather surprised me; but +what surprised me more, was the quantity devoured by Mrs To. She handed +her plate from the boiled pork to the roast, asked for some pettitoes, +tried the sausages, and finished with a whole plateful of sucking-pig +and stuffing. We had an apple pie at the end, but as we had already +eaten apple sauce with the roast pork, we did not care for it. The +doctor, who abominated pork, ate pretty well, and was excessively +attentive to Mrs To. + +"Will you not take a piece of the roast pig, doctor?" said the captain. + +"Why, really Captain To, as we are bound, by all reports, to a station +where we must not venture upon pork, I think I will not refuse to take a +piece, for I am very fond of it." + +"How do you mean?" inquired the captain and his lady, both in a breath. + +"Perhaps I may be wrongly informed," replied the doctor, "but I have +heard that we were ordered to the West Indies; now, if so, everyone +knows, that although you may eat salt pork there occasionally without +danger, in all tropical climates, and especially the West Indies, two or +three days' living upon this meat will immediately produce dysentery, +which is always fatal in that climate." + +"Indeed!" exclaimed the captain. + +"You don't say so!" rejoined the lady. + +"I do indeed: and have always avoided the West Indies for that very +reason--I am so fond of pork." + +The doctor then proceeded to give nearly one hundred instances of +messmates and shipmen who had been attacked with dysentery, from the +eating of fresh pork in the West Indies; and O'Brien, perceiving the +doctor's drift, joined him, telling some most astonishing accounts of +the dreadful effects of pork in a hot country. I think he said, that +when the French were blockaded, previous to the surrender of Martinique, +that, having nothing but pigs to eat, thirteen hundred out of seventeen +hundred soldiers and officers died in the course of three weeks, and the +others were so reduced by disease, that they were obliged to capitulate. +The doctor then changed the subject, and talked about the yellow fever, +and other diseases of the climate, so that, by his account, the West +India islands were but hospitals to die in. Those most likely to be +attacked, were men in full strong health. The spare men stood a better +chance. This conversation was carried on until it was time to leave--Mrs +To at last quite silent, and the captain gulping down his wine with a +sigh. When we rose from the table, Mrs To did not ask us, as usual, to +stay and hear a little music; she was, like her piano, not a little out +of tune. + +"By the powers, doctor, you did that nately," said O'Brien, as we left +the cabin. + +"O'Brien," said the doctor, "oblige me, and you, Mr Simple, oblige me +also, by not saying a word in the ship about what I have said; if it +once gets wind, I shall have done no good, but if you both hold your +tongues for a short time, I think I may promise you to get rid of +Captain To, his wife, and his pigs." We perceived the justice of his +observation, and promised secrecy. The next morning the ship sailed for +Plymouth, and Mrs To sent for the doctor, not being very well. The +doctor prescribed for her, and I believe, on my conscience, made her +worse on purpose. The illness of his wife, and his own fears, brought +Captain To more than usual in contact with the doctor, of whom he +frequently asked his candid opinion, as to his own chance in a hot +country. + +"Captain To," said the doctor, "_I_ never would have given my opinion, +if you had not asked it, for I am aware, that, as an officer, you would +never flinch from your duty, to whatever quarter of the globe you may be +ordered; but, as you have asked the question, I must say, with your full +habit of body, I think you would not stand a chance of living for more +than two months. At the same time, sir, I may be mistaken; but, at all +events, I must point out that Mrs To is of a very bilious habit, and I +trust you will not do such an injustice to an amiable woman, as to +permit her to accompany you." + +"Thanky, doctor, I'm much obliged to you," replied the captain, turning +round and going down the ladder to his cabin. We were then beating down +the channel; for, although we ran through the Needles with a fair wind, +it fell calm, and shifted to the westward, when we were abreast of +Portland. The next day the captain gave an order for a very fine pig to +be killed, for he was out of provisions. Mrs To still kept her bed, and +he therefore directed that a part should be salted, as he could have no +company. I was in the midshipman's berth, when some of them proposed +that we should get possession of the pig; and the plan they agreed upon +was as follows:--they were to go to the pen that night, and with a +needle stuck in a piece of wood, to prick the pig all over, and then rub +gunpowder into the parts wounded. This was done, and although the +butcher was up a dozen times during the night to ascertain what made the +pigs so uneasy, the midshipmen passed the needle from watch to watch, +until the pig was well tattooed in all parts. In the morning watch it +was killed, and when it had been scalded in the tub, and the hair taken +off, it appeared covered with blue spots. The midshipman of the morning +watch, who was on the main-deck, took care to point out to the butcher, +that the pork was _measly_, to which the man unwillingly assented, +stating, at the same time, that he could not imagine how it could be, +for a finer pig he had never put a knife into. The circumstance was +reported to the captain, who was much astonished. The doctor came in to +visit Mrs To, and the captain requested the doctor to examine the pig, +and give his opinion. Although this was not the doctor's province, yet, +as he had great reason for keeping intimate with the captain, he +immediately consented. Going forward, he met me, and I told him the +secret. "That will do," replied he; "it all tends to what we wish." The +doctor returned to the captain, and said, "that there was no doubt but +that the pig was measly, which was a complaint very frequent on board +ships, particularly in hot climates, where all pork became _measly_--one +great reason for its there proving so unwholesome." The captain sent for +the first lieutenant, and, with a deep sigh, ordered him to throw the +pig overboard; but the first lieutenant, who knew what had been done +from O'Brien, ordered the _master's mate_ to throw it overboard: the +master's mate, touching his hat, said, "Ay, ay, sir," and took it down +into the berth, where we cut it up, salted one half, and the other we +finished before we arrived at Plymouth, which was six days from the time +we left Portsmouth. On our arrival, we found part of the convoy lying +there, but no orders for us; and, to my great delight, on the following +day the _Diomede_ arrived, from a cruise off the Western Islands. I +obtained permission to go on board with O'Brien, and we once more +greeted our messmates. Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, went down to +Captain Savage, to say we were on board, and he requested us to come +into the cabin. He greeted us warmly, and gave us great credit for the +manner in which we had effected our escape. When we left the cabin, I +found Mr Chucks, the boatswain, waiting outside. + +"My dear Mr Simple, extend your flapper to me, for I'm delighted to see +you. I long to have a long talk with you." + +"And I should like it also, Mr Chucks, but I'm afraid we have not time; +I dine with Captain Savage to-day, and it only wants an hour of +dinner-time." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I've been looking at your frigate, and she's a beauty +--much larger than the _Diomede_." + +"And she behaves quite as well," replied I. "I think we are two hundred +tons larger. You've no idea of her size until you are on her decks." + +"I should like to be boatswain of her, Mr Simple; that is, with Captain +Savage, for I will not part with him." I had some more conversation with +Mr Chucks, but I was obliged to attend to others, who interrupted us. We +had a very pleasant dinner with our old captain, to whom we gave a +history of our adventures, and then we returned on board. + + + + +Chapter XXVIII + +We get rid of the pigs and piano-forte--The last boat on shore before +sailing--The First Lieutenant too hasty, and the consequences to me. + + +We waited three days, at the expiration of which, we heard that Captain +To was about to exchange with Captain Savage. We could not believe such +good news to be true, and we could not ascertain the truth of the +report, as the captain had gone on shore with Mrs To, who recovered fast +after she was out of our doctor's hands; so fast, indeed, that a week +afterwards, on questioning the steward, upon his return on board, how +Mrs To was, he replied, "O charming well again, sir, she has eaten a +_whole pig_, since she left the ship." But the report was true: Captain +To, afraid to go to the West Indies, had effected an exchange with +Captain Savage. Captain Savage was permitted, as was the custom of the +service, to bring his first lieutenant, his boatswain, and his barge's +crew with him. He joined a day or two before we sailed, and never was +there more joy on board: the only people miserable were the first +lieutenant, and those belonging to the _Sanglier_ who were obliged to +follow Captain To; who, with his wife, his pigs, and her piano, were all +got rid of in the course of one forenoon. + +I have already described pay-day on board of a man-of-war, but I think +that the two days before sailing are even more unpleasant; although, +generally speaking, all our money being spent, we are not sorry when we +once are fairly out of harbour, and find ourselves in _blue water_. The +men never work well on those days: they are thinking of their wives and +sweethearts, of the pleasure they had when at liberty on shore, where +they might get drunk without punishment; and many of them are either +half drunk at the time, or suffering from the effects of previous +intoxication. The ship is in disorder, and crowded with the variety of +stock and spare stores which are obliged to be taken on board in a +hurry, and have not yet been properly secured in their places. The first +lieutenant is cross, the officers are grave, and the poor midshipmen, +with all their own little comforts to attend to, are harassed and driven +about like post-horses. "Mr Simple," inquired the first lieutenant, +"where do you come from?" + +"From the gun wharf, sir, with the gunner's spare blocks, and +breechings." + +"Very well--send the marines aft to clear the boat, and pipe away the +first putter. Mr Simple, jump into the first cutter, and go to Mount +Wise for the officers. Be careful that none of your men leave the boat. +Come, be smart." + +Now, I had been away the whole morning, and it was then half-past one, +and I had had no dinner: but I said nothing, and went into the boat. As +soon as I was off, O'Brien, who stood by Mr Falcon, said, "Peter was +thinking of his dinner, poor fellow!" + +"I really quite forgot it," replied the first lieutenant, "there is so +much to do. He is a willing boy, and he shall dine in the gun-room when +he comes back." And so I did--so I lost nothing by not expostulating, +and gained more of the favour of the first lieutenant, who never forgot +what he called _zeal_. But the hardest trial of the whole, is to the +midshipman who is sent with the boat to purchase the supplies for the +cabin and gun-room on the day before the ship's sailing. It was my +misfortune to be ordered upon that service this time, and that very +unexpectedly. I had been ordered to dress myself to take the gig on +shore for the captain's orders, and was walking the deck with my very +best uniform and side arms, when the marine officer, who was the +gun-room caterer, came up to the first lieutenant, and asked him for a +boat. The boat was manned, and a midshipman ordered to take charge of +it; but when he came up, the first lieutenant recollecting that he had +come off two days before with only half his boat's crew, would not trust +him, and called out to me, "Here, Mr Simple, I must send you in this +boat; mind you are careful that none of the men leave it; and bring off +the sergeant of marines, who is on shore looking for the men who have +broken their liberty." Although I could not but feel proud of the +compliment, yet I did not much like going in my very best uniform, and +would have run down and changed it, but the marine officer and all the +people were in the boat, and I could not keep it waiting, so down the +side I went, and we shoved off. We had, besides the boat's crew, the +marine officer, the purser, the gun-room steward, the captain's steward, +and the purser's steward; so that we were pretty full. It blew hard from +the S.E., and there was a sea running, but as the tide was flowing into +the harbour there was not much bubble. We hoisted the foresail, flew +before the wind and tide, and in a quarter of an hour we were at Mutton +Cove, when the marine officer expressed his wish to land. The +landing-place was crowded with boats, and it was not without sundry +exchanges of foul words and oaths, and the bow-men dashing the point of +their boat-hooks into the shore-boats, to make them keep clear of us, +that we forced our way to the beach. The marine officer and all the +stewards then left the boat, and I had to look after the men. I had not +been there three minutes before the bow-man said that his wife was on +the wharf with his clothes from the wash, and begged leave to go and +fetch them. I refused, telling him that she could bring them to him. "Vy +now, Mr Simple," said the woman, "ar'n't you a nice lady's man, to go +for to ax me to muddle my way through all the dead dogs, cabbage-stalks, +and stinking hakes' heads, with my bran new shoes and clean stockings?" +I looked at her, and sure enough she was, as they say in France, _bien +chaussée_. "Come, Mr Simple, let him out to come for his clothes, and +you'll see that he's back in a moment." I did not like to refuse her, as +it was very dirty and wet, and the shingle was strewed with all that she +had mentioned. The bow-man made a spring out with his boat-hook, threw +it back, went up to his wife, and commenced talking with her, while I +watched him. "If you please, sir, there's my young woman come down, +mayn't I speak to her?" said another of the men. I turned round, and +refused him. He expostulated, and begged very hard, but I was resolute; +however, when I again turned my eyes to watch the bow-man, he and his +wife were gone. "There," says I to the coxswain, "I knew it would be so; +you see Hickman is off." + +"Only gone to take a parting glass, sir," replied the coxswain; "he'll +be here directly." + +"I hope so; but I'm afraid not." After this, I refused all the +solicitations of the men to be allowed to leave the boat, but I +permitted them to have some beer brought down to them. The gun-room +steward then came back with a basket of _soft-tack_, _i.e._ loaves of +bread, and told me that the marine officer requested I would allow two +of the men to go up with him to Glencross's shop, to bring down some of +the stores. Of course, I sent two of the men, and told the steward if he +saw Hickman, to bring him down to the boat. + +By this time many of the women belonging to the ship had assembled, and +commenced a noisy conversation with the boat's crew. One brought an +article for Jim, another some clothes for Bill; some of them climbed +into the boat, and sat with the men; others came and went, bringing beer +and tobacco, which the men desired them to purchase. The crowd, the +noise, and confusion were so great, that it was with the utmost +difficulty that I could keep my eyes on all my men, who, one after +another, made an attempt to leave the boat. Just at that time came down +the sergeant of the marines, with three of our men whom he had picked +up, _roaring drunk_. They were tumbled into the boat, and increased the +difficulty, as in looking after those who were riotous, and would try to +leave the boat by force, I was not so well able to keep my eyes on those +who were sober. The sergeant then went up after another man, and I told +him also about Hickman. About half an hour afterwards the steward came +down with the two men, loaded with cabbages, baskets of eggs, strings of +onions, crockery of all descriptions, paper parcels of groceries, legs +and shoulders of mutton, which were crowded in, until not only the +stern-sheets, but all under the thwarts of the boat were also crammed +full. They told me that they had a few more things to bring down, and +that the marine officer had gone to Stonehouse to see his wife, so that +they should be down long before him. In half an hour more, during which +I had the greatest difficulty to manage the boat's crew, they returned +with a dozen geese and two ducks, tied by the legs, but without the two +men, who had given them the slip, so that there were now three men gone, +and I knew Mr Falcon would be very angry, for they were three of the +smartest men in the ship. I was now determined not to run the risk of +losing more men, and I ordered the boat's crew to shove off, that I +might lie at the wharf, where they could not climb up. They were very +mutinous, grumbled very much, and would hardly obey me; the fact is, +they had drunk a great deal, and some of them were more than half tipsy. +However, at last I was obeyed, but not without being saluted with a +shower of invectives from the women, and the execrations of the men +belonging to the wherries and _shore_ boats which were washed against +our sides by the swell. The weather had become much worse, and looked +very threatening. I waited an hour more, when the sergeant of marines +came down with two more men, one of whom, to my great joy, was Hickman. +This made me more comfortable, as I was not answerable for the other +two; still I was in great trouble from the riotous and insolent +behaviour of the boat's crew, and the other men brought down by the +sergeant of marines. One of them fell back into a basket of eggs, and +smashed them all to atoms; still the marine officer did not come down, +and it was getting late. The tide being now at the ebb, running out +against the wind, there was a heavy sea, and I had to go off to the ship +with a boat deeply laden, and most of the people in her in a state of +intoxication. The coxswain, who was the only one who was sober, +recommended our shoving off, as it would soon be dark, and some accident +would happen. I reflected a minute, and agreeing with him, I ordered the +oars to be got out, and we shoved off, the sergeant of marines and the +gun-room steward perched up in the bows--drunken men, ducks and geese, +lying together at the bottom of the boat--the stern sheets loaded up to +the gunwale, and the other passengers and myself sitting how we could +among the crockery and a variety of other articles with which the boat +was crowded. It was a scene of much confusion--the half-drunken boat's +crew _catching crabs_, and falling forward upon the others--those who +were quite drunk swearing they _would_ pull. "Lay on your oar, Sullivan; +you are doing more harm than good. You drunken rascal, I'll report you +as soon as we get on board." + +"How the divil can I pull, your honour, when there's that fellow Jones +breaking the very back o' me with his oar, and he never touching the +water all the while?" + +"You lie," cried Jones; "I'm pulling the boat by myself against the +whole of the larbard oars." + +"He's rowing _dry_, your honour--only making bilave." + +"Do you call this rowing dry?" cried another, as a sea swept over the +boat, fore and aft, wetting everybody to the skin. + +"Now, your honour, just look and see if I ain't pulling the very arms +off me?" cried Sullivan. + +"Is there water enough to cross the bridge, Swinburne?" said I to the +coxswain. + +"Plenty, Mr Simple; it is but quarter ebb, and the sooner we are on +board the better." + +We were now past Devil's Point, and the sea was very heavy: the boat +plunged in the trough, so that I was afraid that she would break her +back. She was soon half full of water, and the two after-oars were laid +in for the men to bale. "Plase your honour, hadn't I better cut free the +legs of them ducks and geese, and allow them to swim for their lives?" +cried Sullivan, resting on his oar; "the poor birds will be drowned else +in their own _iliment_." + +"No, no--pull away as hard as you can." + +By this time the drunken men in the bottom of the boat began to be very +uneasy, from the quantity of water which washed about them, and made +several staggering attempts to get on their legs. They fell down again +upon the ducks and geese, the major part of which were saved from being +drowned by being suffocated. The sea on the bridge was very heavy; and +although the tide swept us out, we were nearly swamped. Soft bread was +washing about the bottom of the boat; the parcels of sugar, pepper, and +salt, were wet through with the salt water, and a sudden jerk threw the +captain's steward, who was seated upon the gunwale close to the +after-oar, right upon the whole of the crockery and eggs, which added to +the mass of destruction. A few more seas shipped completed the job, and +the gun-room steward was in despair. "That's a darling," cried Sullivan: +"the politest boat in the whole fleet. She makes more bows and curtseys +than the finest couple in the land. Give way, my lads, and work the +crater stuff out of your elbows, and the first lieutenant will see us +all so sober, and so wet in the bargain, and think we're all so dry, +that perhaps he'll be after giving us a raw nip when we get on board." + +In a quarter of an hour we were nearly alongside, but the men pulled so +badly, and the sea was so great, that we missed the ship and went +astern. They veered out a buoy with a line, which we got hold of, and +were hauled up by the marines and after-guard, the boat plunging bows +under, and drenching us through and through. At last we got under the +counter, and I climbed up by the stern ladder. Mr Falcon was on deck, +and very angry at the boat not coming alongside properly. "I thought, Mr +Simple, that you knew by this time how to bring a boat alongside." + +"So I do, sir, I hope," replied I; "but the boat was so full of water, +and the men would not give way." + +"What men has the sergeant brought on board?" + +"Three, sir," replied I, shivering with the cold, and unhappy at my very +best uniform being spoiled. + +"Are all your boat's crew with you, sir?" + +"No sir; there are two left on shore; they--" + +"Not a word, sir. Up to the mast-head, and stay there till I call you +down. If it were not so late, I would send you on shore, and not receive +you on board again without the men. Up, sir, immediately." + +I did not venture to explain, but up I went. It was very cold, blowing +hard from the S.E., with heavy squalls; I was so wet that the wind +appeared to blow through me, and it was now nearly dark. I reached the +cross-trees, and when I was seated there, I felt that I had done my +duty, and had not been fairly treated. During this time, the boat had +been hauled up alongside to clear, and a pretty clearance there was. All +the ducks and geese were dead, the eggs and crockery all broke, the +grocery almost all washed away; in short, as O'Brien observed, there was +"a very pretty general average." Mr Falcon was still very angry. "Who +are the men missing?" inquired he, of Swinburne, the coxswain, as he +came up the side. + +"Williams and Sweetman, sir." + +"Two of the smartest topmen, I am told. It really is too provoking; +there is not a midshipman in the ship I can trust. I must work all day, +and get no assistance. The service is really going to the devil now, +with the young men who are sent on board to be brought up as officers, +and who are above doing their duty. What made you so late, Swinburne?" + +"Waiting for the marine officer, who went to Stonehouse to see his wife; +but Mr Simple would not wait any longer, as it was getting dark, and we +had so many drunken men in the boat." + +"Mr Simple did right. I wish Mr Harrison would stay on shore with his +wife altogether--it's really trifling with the service. Pray, Mr +Swinburne, why had you not your eyes about you if Mr Simple was so +careless? How came you to allow these men to leave the boat?" + +"The men were ordered up by the marine officer to bring down your +stores, sir, and they gave the steward the slip. It was no fault of Mr +Simple's, nor of mine either. We lay off at the wharf for two hours +before we started, or we should have lost more; for what can a poor lad +do, when he has charge of drunken men who _will not_ obey orders?" And +the coxswain looked up at the mast-head, as much as to say, Why is he +sent there? "I'll take my oath, sir," continued Swinburne, "that Mr +Simple never put his foot out of the boat, from the time that he went +over the side until he came on board, and that no young gentleman could +have done his duty more strictly." + +Mr Falcon looked very angry at first at the coxswain speaking so freely, +but he said nothing. He took one or two turns on the deck, and then +hailing the mast-head, desired me to come down. But I _could not_; my +limbs were so cramped with the wind blowing upon my wet clothes, that I +could not move. He hailed again; I heard him, but was not able to +answer. One of the topmen then came up, and perceiving my condition, +hailed the deck, and said he believed I was dying, for I could not move, +and that he dared not leave me for fear I should fall. O'Brien, who had +been on deck all the while, jumped up the rigging, and was soon at the +cross-trees where I was. He sent the topman down into the top for a +tail-block and the studding-sail haulyards, made a whip, and lowered me +on deck. I was immediately put into my hammock; and the surgeon ordering +me some hot brandy-and-water, and plenty of blankets, in a few hours I +was quite restored. + +O'Brien, who was at my bedside, said, "Never mind, Peter, and don't be +angry with Mr Falcon, for he is very sorry." + +"I am not angry, O'Brien; for Mr Falcon has been too kind to me not to +make me forgive him for being once hasty." + +The surgeon came to my hammock, gave me some more hot drink, desired me +to go to sleep, and I woke the next morning quite well. + +When I came into the berth, my messmates asked me how I was, and many of +them railed against the tyranny of Mr Falcon; but I took his part, +saying, that he was hasty in this instance, perhaps, but that, generally +speaking, he was an excellent and very just officer. Some agreed with +me, but others did not. One of them, who was always in disgrace, sneered +at me, and said, "Peter reads the Bible, and knows that if you smite one +cheek, he must offer the other. Now, I'll answer for it, if I pull his +right ear he will offer me his left." So saying, he lugged me by the +ear, upon which I knocked him down for his trouble. The berth was then +cleared away for a fight, and in a quarter of an hour my opponent gave +in; but I suffered a little, and had a very black eye. I had hardly time +to wash myself and change my shirt, which was bloody, when I was +summoned on the quarter-deck. When I arrived, I found Mr Falcon walking +up and down. He looked very hard at me, but did not ask me any questions +as to the cause of my unusual appearance. + +"Mr Simple," said he, "I sent for you to beg your pardon for my +behaviour to you last night, which was not only very hasty but very +unjust. I find that you were not to blame for the loss of the men." + +I felt very sorry for him when I heard him speak so handsomely; and, to +make his mind more easy, I told him that, although I certainly was not +to blame for the loss of those two men, still I had done wrong in +permitting Hickman to leave the boat; and that had not the sergeant +picked him up, I should have come off without him, and therefore I _did_ +deserve the punishment which I had received. + +"Mr Simple," replied Mr Falcon, "I respect you, and admire your +feelings; still, I was to blame, and it is my duty to apologise. Now go +down below. I would have requested the pleasure of your company to +dinner, but I perceive that something else has occurred, which, under +any other circumstances, I would have inquired into, but at present I +shall not." + +I touched my hat and went below. In the meantime, O'Brien had been made +acquainted with the occasion of the quarrel, which he did not fail to +explain to Mr Falcon, who, O'Brien declared, "was not the least bit in +the world angry with me for what had occurred." Indeed, after that, Mr +Falcon always treated me with the greatest kindness, and employed me on +every duty which he considered of consequence. He was a sincere friend; +for he did not allow me to neglect my duty, but, at the same time, +treated me with consideration and confidence. + +The marine officer came on board very angry at being left behind, and +talked about a court-martial on me for disrespect, and neglect of stores +entrusted to my charge; but O'Brien told me not to mind him, or what he +said. "It's my opinion, Peter, that the gentleman has eaten no small +quantity of _flap-doodle_ in his lifetime." + +"What's that, O'Brien?" replied I; "I never heard of it." + +"Why, Peter," rejoined he, "it's the stuff they _feed fools on_." + + + + +Chapter XXIX + +A long conversation with Mr Chucks--The advantage of having a +prayer-book in your pocket--We run down the trades--Swinburne, the +quartermaster, and his yarns--The Captain falls sick. + + +The next day the captain came on board with sealed orders, with +directions not to open them until off Ushant. In the afternoon, we +weighed and made sail. It was a fine northerly wind, and the Bay of +Biscay was smooth. We bore up, set all the studding-sails, and ran along +at the rate of eleven miles an hour. As I could not appear on the +quarter-deck, I was put down on the sick-list. Captain Savage, who was +very particular, asked what was the matter with me. The surgeon replied, +"An inflamed eye." The captain asked no more questions; and I took care +to keep out of his way. I walked in the evening on the forecastle, when +I renewed my intimacy with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to whom I gave a +full narrative of all my adventures in France. "I have been ruminating, +Mr Simple," said he, "how such a stripling as you could have gone +through so much fatigue, and now I know how it is. It is _blood_, Mr +Simple--all blood--you are descended from good blood; and there's as +much difference between nobility and the lower classes, as there is +between a racer and a cart-horse." + +"I cannot agree with you, Mr Chucks. Common people are quite as brave as +those who are well-born. You do not mean to say that you are not brave-- +that the seamen on board this ship are not brave?" + +"No, no, Mr Simple; but as I observed about myself, my mother was a +woman who could not be trusted, and there is no saying who was my +father; and she was a very pretty woman to boot, which levels all +distinctions for the moment. As for the seamen, God knows, I should do +them an injustice if I did not acknowledge that they were as brave as +lions. But there are two kinds of bravery, Mr Simple--the bravery of the +moment, and the courage of bearing up for a long while. Do you +understand me?" + +"I think I do; but still do not agree with you. Who will bear more +fatigue than our sailors?" + +"Yes, yes, Mr Simple, that is because they are _endured_ to it from +their hard life: but if the common sailors were all such little +thread-papers as you, and had been brought up so carefully, they would +not have gone through all you have. That's my opinion, Mr Simple-- +there's nothing like _blood_." + +"I think, Mr Chucks, you carry your ideas on that subject too far." + +"I do not, Mr Simple; and I think, moreover, that he who has more to +lose than another will always strive more. Now a common man only fights +for his own credit; but when a man is descended from a long line of +people famous in history, and has a coat _in_ arms, criss-crossed, and +stuck all over with lions and unicorns to support the dignity of--why, +has he not to fight for the credit of all his ancestors, whose names +would be disgraced if he didn't behave well?" + +"I agree with you, Mr Chucks, in the latter remark, to a certain +extent." + +"Ah! Mr Simple, we never know the value of good descent when we have it, +but it's when we cannot get it that we can _'preciate_ it. I wish I had +been born a nobleman--I do, by heavens!" and Mr Chucks slapped his fist +against the funnel, so as to make it ring again. "Well, Mr Simple," +continued he, after a pause, "it is, however, a great comfort to me that +I have parted company with that fool, Mr Muddle, with his twenty-six +thousand and odd years, and that old woman, Dispart, the gunner. You +don't know how those two men used to fret me; it was very silly, but I +couldn't help it. Now the warrant officers of this ship appear to be +very respectable, quiet men, who know their duty and attend to it, and +are not too familiar, which I hate and detest. You went home to your +friends, of course, when you arrived in England?" + +"I did, Mr Chucks, and spent some days with my grandfather, Lord +Privilege, whom you say you once met at dinner." + +"Well, and how was the old gentleman?" inquired the boatswain, with a +sigh. + +"Very well, considering his age." + +"Now do, pray, Mr Simple, tell me all about it; from the time that the +servants met you at the door until you went away. Describe to me the +house and all the rooms, for I like to hear of all these things, +although I can never see them again." + +To please Mr Chucks, I entered into a full detail, which he listened to +very attentively, until it was late, and then with difficulty would he +permit me to leave off, and go down to my hammock. The next day, rather +a singular circumstance occurred. One of the midshipmen was mast-headed +by the second lieutenant, for not waiting on deck until he was relieved. +He was down below when he was sent for, and expecting to be punished +from what the quarter-master told him, he thrust the first book into his +jacket-pocket which he could lay his hand on, to amuse himself at the +mast-head, and then ran on deck. As he surmised, he was immediately +ordered aloft. He had not been there more than five minutes, when a +sudden squall carried away the main-top-gallant mast, and away he went +flying over to leeward (for the wind had shifted, and the yards were now +braced up). Had he gone overboard, as he could not swim, he would, in +all probability, have been drowned; but the book in his pocket brought +him up in the jaws of the fore-brace block, where he hung until taken +out by the main-topmen. Now it so happened that it was a prayer-book +which he had laid hold of in his hurry, and those who were superstitious +declared it was all owing to his having taken a religious book with him. +I did not think so, as any other book would have answered the purpose +quite as well: still the midshipman himself thought so, and it was +productive of good, as he was a sad scamp, and behaved much better +afterwards. But I had nearly forgotten to mention a circumstance which +occurred on the day of our sailing, which will be eventually found to +have had a great influence upon my after life. It was this. I received a +letter from my father, evidently written in great vexation and +annoyance, informing me that my uncle, whose wife I have already +mentioned had two daughters, and was again expected to be confined, had +suddenly broken up his housekeeping, discharged every servant, and +proceeded to Ireland under an assumed name. No reason had been given for +this unaccountable proceeding; and not even my grandfather, or any of +the members of the family, had had notice of his intention. Indeed, it +was by mere accident that his departure was discovered, about a +fortnight after it had taken place. My father had taken a great deal of +pains to find out where he was residing; but although my uncle was +traced to Cork, from that town all clue was lost, but still it was +supposed, from inquiries, that he was not very far from thence. "Now," +observed my father, in his letter, "I cannot help surmising, that my +brother, in his anxiety to retain the advantages of the title to his own +family, has resolved to produce to the world a spurious child as his +own, by some contrivance or other. His wife's health is very bad, and +she is not likely to have a large family. Should the one now expected +prove a daughter, there is little chance of his ever having another; and +I have no hesitation in declaring my conviction that the measure has +been taken with a view of defrauding you of your chance of eventually +being called to the House of Lords." + +I showed this letter to O'Brien, who, after reading it over two or three +times, gave his opinion that my father was right in his conjectures +"Depend upon it, Peter, there's foul play intended, that is, if foul +play is rendered necessary." + +"But, O'Brien, I cannot imagine why, if my uncle has no son of his own, +he should prefer acknowledging a son of any other person's, instead of +his own nephew." + +"But I can, Peter: your uncle is not a man likely to live very long, as +you know. The doctors say that, with his short neck, his life is not +worth two years' purchase. Now if he had a son, consider that his +daughters would be much better off, and much more likely to get married; +besides, there are many reasons which I won't talk about now, because +it's no use making you think your uncle to be a scoundrel. But I'll tell +you what I'll do. I'll go down to my cabin directly, and write to Father +M'Grath, telling him the whole affair, and desiring him to ferret him +out, and watch him narrowly, and I'll bet you a dozen of claret, that in +less than a week he'll find him out, and will dog him to the last. He'll +get hold of his Irish servants, and you little know the power that a +priest has in our country. Now give the description as well as you can +of your uncle's appearance, also of that of his wife, and the number of +their family, and their ages. Father M'Grath must have all particulars, +and then let him alone for doing what is needful." + +I complied with O'Brien's directions as well as I could, and he wrote a +very long letter to Father M'Grath, which was sent on shore by a careful +hand. I answered my father's letter, and then thought no more about the +matter. + +Our sealed orders were opened, and proved our destination to be the West +Indies, as we expected. We touched at Madeira to take in some wine for +the ship's company; but as we only remained one day, we were not +permitted to go on shore. Fortunate indeed would it have been if we had +never gone there; for the day after, our captain, who had dined with the +consul, was taken alarmingly ill. From the symptoms, the surgeon dreaded +that he had been poisoned by something which he had eaten, and which +most probably had been cooked in a copper vessel not properly tinned. We +were all very anxious that he should recover; but, on the contrary, he +appeared to grow worse and worse every day, wasting away, and dying, as +they say, by inches. At last he was put into his cot, and never rose +from it again. This melancholy circumstance, added to the knowledge that +we were proceeding to an unhealthy climate, caused a gloom throughout +the ship; and, although the trade wind carried us along bounding over +the bright blue sea--although the weather was now warm, yet not too +warm--although the sun rose in splendour, and all was beautiful and +cheering, the state of the captain's health was a check to all mirth. +Every one trod the deck softly, and spoke in a low voice, that he might +not be disturbed; all were anxious to have the morning report of the +surgeon, and our conversation was generally upon the sickly climate, the +yellow fever, of death, and the palisades where they buried us. +Swinburne, the quarter-master, was in my watch, and as he had been long +in the West Indies, I used to obtain all the information from him that I +could. The old fellow had a secret pleasure in frightening me as much +as he could. "Really, Mr Simple, you ax so many questions," he would +say, as I accosted him while he was at his station at the _conn_, "I +wish you wouldn't ax so many questions, and make yourself uncomfortable +--'steady so'--'steady it is;'--with regard to Yellow Jack, as we calls +the yellow fever, it's a devil incarnate, that's sartain--you're well +and able to take your allowance in the morning, and dead as a herring +'fore night. First comes a bit of a head-ache--you goes to the doctor, +who bleeds you like a pig--then you go out of your senses--then up comes +the black vomit, and then it's all over with you, and you go to the land +crabs, who pick your bones as clean and as white as a sea elephant's +tooth. But there be one thing to be said in favour of Yellow Jack, a'ter +all. You dies _straight,_ like a gentleman--not cribbled up like a +snow-fish, chucked out on the ice of the river St Lawrence, with your +knees up to your nose, or your toes stuck into your arm-pits, as does +take place in some of your foreign complaints; but straight, quite +straight, and limber, like a _gentleman_. Still Jack is a little +mischievous, that's sartain. In the Euridiscy we had as fine a ship's +company as was ever piped aloft--'Steady, starboard, my man, you're +half-a-pint off your course;'--we dropped our anchor in Port Royal, and +we thought that there was mischief brewing, for thirty-eight sharks +followed the ship into the harbour, and played about us day and night. I +used to watch them during the night watch, as their fins, above water, +skimmed along, leaving a trail of light behind them; and the second +night I said to the sentry abaft, as I was looking at them smelling +under the counter--'Soldier,' says I, 'them sharks are mustering under +the orders of Yellow Jack,' and I no sooner mentioned Yellow Jack, than +the sharks gave a frisky plunge, every one of them, as much as to say, +'Yes, so we are, d----n your eyes.' The soldier was so frightened that +he would have fallen overboard, if I hadn't caught him by the scruff of +the neck, for he was standing on the top of the taffrail. As it was, he +dropped his musket over the stern, which the sharks dashed at from every +quarter, making the sea look like fire--and he had it charged to his +wages, £1 16s. I think. However, the fate of his musket gave him an idea +of what would have happened to him if he had fallen in instead of it-- +and he never got on the taffrail again. 'Steady, port--mind your helm, +Smith--you can listen to my yarn all the same.' Well, Mr Simple, Yellow +Jack came, sure enough. First the purser was called to account for all +his roguery. We didn't care much about the land crabs eating him, who +had made so many poor dead men chew tobacco, cheating their wives and +relations, or Greenwich Hospital, as it might happen. Then went two of +the middies, just about your age, Mr Simple: they, poor fellows, went +off in a sad hurry; then went the master--and so it went on, till at +last we had no more nor sixty men left in the ship. The captain died +last, and then Yellow Jack had filled his maw, and left the rest of us +alone. As soon as the captain died, all the sharks left the ship, and we +never saw any more of them." + +Such were the yarns told to me and the other midshipmen during the night +watches; and I can assure the reader, that they gave us no small alarm. +Every day that we worked our day's work, and found ourselves so much +nearer to the islands, did we feel as if we were so much nearer to our +graves. I once spoke to O'Brien about it, and he laughed. "Peter," says +he, "fear kills more people than the yellow fever, or any other +complaint, in the West Indies. Swinburne is an old rogue, and only +laughing at you. The devil's not half so black as he's painted--nor the +yellow fever half so yellow, I presume." We were now fast nearing the +island of Barbadoes, the weather was beautiful, the wind always fair; +the flying fish rose in shoals, startled by the foaming seas, which +rolled away, and roared from the bows as our swift frigate cleaved +through the water; the porpoises played about us in thousands--the +bonetas and dolphins at one time chased the flying fish, and at others, +appeared to be delighted in keeping company with the rapid vessel. +Everything was beautiful, and we all should have been happy, had it not +been for the state of Captain Savage, in the first place, who daily +became worse and worse, and from the dread of the hell, which we were +about to enter through such a watery paradise. Mr Falcon, who was in +command, was grave and thoughtful; he appeared indeed to be quite +miserable at the chance which would insure his own promotion. In every +attention, and every care that could be taken to insure quiet and afford +relief to the captain, he was unremitting; the offence of making a noise +was now, with him, a greater crime than drunkenness, or even mutiny. +When within three days' sail of Barbadoes, it fell almost calm, and the +captain became much worse; and now for the first time did we behold the +great white shark of the Atlantic. There are several kinds of sharks, +but the most dangerous are the great white shark and the ground shark. +The former grows to an enormous length--the latter is seldom very long, +not more than twelve feet, but spreads to a great breadth. We could not +hook the sharks as they played around us, for Mr Falcon would not permit +it, lest the noise of hauling them on board should disturb the captain. +A breeze again sprang up. In two days we were close to the island, and +the men were desired to look out for the land. + + + + +Chapter XXX + +Death of Captain Savage--His funeral--Specimen of true Barbadian born-- +Sucking the monkey--Effects of a hurricane. + + +The next morning, having hove-to part of the night, land was discovered +on the bow, and was reported by the mast-head man at the same moment +that the surgeon came up and announced the death of our noble captain. +Although it had been expected for the last two or three days, the +intelligence created a heavy gloom throughout the ship; the men worked +in silence, and spoke to one another in whispers. Mr Falcon was deeply +affected, and so were we all. In the course of the morning, we ran in to +the island, and unhappy as I was, I never can forget the sensation of +admiration which I felt on closing with Needham Point to enter Carlisle +Bay. The beach of such a pure dazzling white, backed by the tall, green +cocoa-nut trees, waving their spreading heads to the fresh breeze, the +dark blue of the sky, and the deeper blue of the transparent sea, +occasionally varied into green as we passed by the coral rocks which +threw their branches out from the bottom--the town opening to our view +by degrees, houses after houses, so neat, with their green jalousies, +dotting the landscape, the fort with the colours flying, troops of +officers riding down, a busy population of all colours, relieved by the +whiteness of their dress. Altogether the scene realised my first ideas +of Fairyland, for I thought I had never witnessed anything so beautiful. +"And can this be such a dreadful place as it is described?" thought I. +The sails were clewed up, the anchor was dropped to the bottom, and a +salute from the ship, answered by the forts, added to the effect of the +scene. The sails were furled, the boats lowered down, the boatswain +squared the yards from the jolly-boat ahead. Mr Falcon dressed, and his +boat being manned, went on shore with the despatches. Then, as soon as +the work was over, a new scene of delight presented itself to the sight +of midshipmen who had been so long upon his Majesty's allowance. These +were the boats, which crowded round the ship, loaded with baskets of +bananas, oranges, shaddocks, soursops, and every other kind of tropical +fruit, fried flying fish, eggs, fowls, milk, and everything which could +tempt a poor boy after a long sea voyage. The watch being called, down +we all hastened into the boats, and returned loaded with treasures, +which we soon contrived to make disappear. After stowing away as much +fruit as would have sufficed for a dessert to a dinner given to twenty +people in England, I returned on deck. + +There was no other man-of-war in the bay; but my attention was directed +to a beautiful little vessel, a schooner, whose fairy form contrasted +strongly with a West India trader which lay close to her. All of a +sudden, as I was looking at her beautiful outline, a yell rose from her +which quite startled me, and immediately afterwards her deck was covered +with nearly two hundred naked figures with woolly heads, chattering and +grinning at each other. She was a Spanish slaver, which had been +captured, and had arrived the evening before. The slaves were still on +board, waiting the orders of the governor. They had been on deck about +ten minutes, when three or four men, with large panama straw hats on +their heads, and long rattans in their hands, jumped upon the gunnel, +and in a few seconds drove them all down below. I then turned round, and +observed a black woman who had just climbed up the side of the frigate. +O'Brien was on deck, and she walked up to him in the most consequential +manner. + +"How do you do, sar? Very happy you com back again," said she to +O'Brien. + +"I'm very well, I thank you, ma'am," replied O'Brien, "and I hope to go +back the same; but never having put my foot into this bay before, you +have the advantage of me." + +"Nebber here before, so help me Gad! me tink I know you--me tink I +recollect your handsome face--I Lady Rodney, sar. Ah, piccaninny buccra! +how you do?" said she, turning round to me. "Me hope to hab the honour +to wash for you, sar," courtesying to O'Brien. + +"What do you charge in this place?" + +"All the same price, one bit a piece." + +"What do you call a bit?" inquired I. + +"A bit, lilly massa?--what you call um _bit_? Dem four _sharp shins_ to +a pictareen." + +Our deck was now enlivened by several army officers, besides gentlemen +residents, who came off to hear the news. Invitations to the mess and to +the houses of the gentlemen followed, and as they departed Mr Falcon +returned on board. He told O'Brien and the other officers, that the +admiral and squadron were expected in a few days, and that we were to +remain in Carlisle Bay and refit immediately. But although the fright +about the yellow fever had considerably subsided in our breasts, the +remembrance that our poor captain was lying dead in the cabin was +constantly obtruding. All that night the carpenters were up making up +his coffin, for he was to be buried the next day. The body is never +allowed to remain many hours unburied in the tropical climates, where +putrefaction is so rapid. The following morning the men were up at +daylight, washing the decks and putting the ship in order; they worked +willingly, and yet with a silent decorum which showed what their +feelings were. Never were the decks better cleaned, never were the ropes +more carefully _flemished_ down; the hammocks were stowed in their white +cloths, the yards carefully squared, and the ropes hauled taut. At eight +o'clock, the colours and pennant were hoisted half-mast high. The men +were then ordered down to breakfast, and to clean themselves. During the +time that the men were at breakfast, all the officers went into the +cabin to take a last farewell look at our gallant captain. He appeared +to have died without pain, and there was a beautiful tranquillity in his +face; but even already a change had taken place, and we perceived the +necessity of his being buried so soon. We saw him placed in his coffin, +and then quitted the cabin without speaking to each other. When the +coffin was nailed down, it was brought up by the barge's crew to the +quarter-deck, and laid upon the gratings amidships, covered over with +the Union Jack. The men came up from below without waiting for the pipe, +and a solemnity appeared to pervade every motion. Order and quiet were +universal, out of respect to the deceased. When the boats were ordered +to be manned, the men almost appeared to steal into them. The barge +received the coffin, which was placed in the stern sheets. The other +boats then hauled up, and received the officers, marines, and sailors, +who were to follow the procession. When all was ready, the barge was +shoved off by the bow-men, the crew dropped their oars into the water +without a splash and pulled the _minute stroke:_ +the other boats +followed, and as soon as they were clear of the ship, the minute guns +boomed along the smooth surface of the bay from the opposite side of the +ship, while the yards were topped to starboard and to port, the ropes +were slackened and hung in bights, so as to give the idea of distress +and neglect. At the same time, a dozen or more of the men who had been +ready, dropped over the sides of the ship in differents [sic] parts, and +with their cans of paint and brushes in a few minutes effaced the whole +of the broad white riband which marked the beautiful run of the frigate, +and left her all black and in deep mourning. The guns from the forts now +responded to our own. The merchant ships lowered their colours, and the +men stood up respectfully with their hats off, as the procession moved +slowly to the landing-place. The coffin was borne to the burial-ground +by the crew of the barge, followed by Mr Falcon as chief mourner, all +the officers of the ship who could be spared, one hundred of the seamen +walking two and two, and the marines with their arms reversed. The +_cortege_ was joined by the army officers, while the troops lined the +streets, and the bands played the Dead March. The service was read, the +volleys were fired over the grave, and with oppressed feelings we +returned to the boats, and pulled on board. It then appeared to me, and +to a certain degree I was correct, that as soon as we had paid our last +respect to his remains, we had also forgotten our grief. The yards were +again squared, the ropes hauled taut, working dresses resumed, and all +was activity and bustle. The fact is, that sailors and soldiers have no +time for lamentation, and running as they do from clime to clime, so +does scene follow scene in the same variety and quickness. In a day or +two, the captain appeared to be, although he was not, forgotten. Our +first business was to _water_ the ship by rafting and towing off the +casks. I was in charge of the boat again, with Swinburne as coxswain. As +we pulled in, there were a number of negroes bathing in the surf, +bobbing their woolly heads under it, as it rolled into the beach. "Now, +Mr Simple," said Swinburne, "see how I'll make them _niggers_ scamper." +He then stood up in the stern sheets, and pointing with his finger, +roared out, "A shark! a shark!" Away started all the bathers for the +beach, puffing and blowing, from their dreaded enemy; nor did they stop +to look for him until they were high and dry out of his reach. Then, +when we all laughed, they called us "_all the hangman tiefs_," and every +other opprobrious name which they could select from their vocabulary. I +was very much amused with this scene, and as much afterwards with the +negroes who crowded round us when we landed. They appeared such merry +fellows, always laughing, chattering, singing, and showing their white +teeth. One fellow danced round us, snapping his fingers, and singing +songs without beginning or end. "Eh, massa, what you say now? Me no +slave--true Barbadian born, sir. Eh! + + "Nebba see de day + Dat Rodney run away, + Nebba see um night + Dat Rodney cannot fight. + +Massa me free man, sar. Suppose you give me pictareen, drink massa +health. + + "Nebba see de day, boy, + Pompey lickum de Caesar. + +Eh! and you nebba see de day dat de Grasshopper run on de Warrington." + +"Out of the way, you nigger," cried one of the men who was rolling down +a cask. + +"Eh! who you call nigger? Me free man, and true Barbadian born. Go along +you man-of-war man. + + "Man-of-war, buccra, + Man-of-war, buccra, + He de boy for me; + Sodger, buccra, + Sodger, buccra, + Nebba, nebba do, + Nebba, nebba do for me; + Sodger give me one shilling, + Sailor give me two. + +Massa, now suppose you give me only one pictareen now. You really +handsome young gentleman." + +"Now, just walk off," said Swinburne, lifting up a stick he found on the +beach. + +"Eh! walk off. + + "Nebba see de day, boy, + 'Badian run away, boy. + +Go, do your work, sar. Why you talk to me? Go, work, sar. I free man, +and real Barbadian born. + + "Negro on de shore + See de ship come in, + De buccra come on shore, + Wid de hand up to the chin; + Man-of-war buccra, + Man-of-war buccra, + He de boy for me, + Man-of-war, buccra, + Man-of-war, buccra, + Gib pictareen to me." + +At this moment my attention was directed to another negro, who lay on +the beach rolling and foaming at the mouth, apparently in a fit. "What's +the matter with that fellow?" said I to the same negro who continued +close to me, notwithstanding Swinburne's stick. "Eh! call him Sam Slack, +massa. He ab um _tic tic_ fit." And such was apparently the case. "Stop, +me cure him;" and he snatched the stick out of Swinburne's hand, and +running up to the man, who continued to roll on the beach, commenced +belabouring him without mercy. "Eh, Sambo!" cried he at last, quite out +of breath, "you no better yet--try again." He recommenced, until at last +the man got up and ran away as fast as he could. Now, whether the man +was shamming, or whether it was real _tic tic_, or epileptic fit, I know +not; but I never heard of such a cure for it before. I threw the fellow +half a pictareen, as much for the amusement he had afforded me as to get +rid of him. "Tanky, massa; now man-of-war man, here de tick for you +again to keep off all the dam niggers." So saying, he handed the stick +to Swinburne, made a polite bow, and departed. We were, however, soon +surrounded by others, particularly some dingy ladies with baskets of +fruit, and who, as they said, "sell ebery ting." I perceived that my +sailors were very fond of cocoa-nut milk, which, being a harmless +beverage, I did not object to their purchasing from these ladies, who +had chiefly cocoa-nuts in their baskets. As I had never tasted it, I +asked them what it was, and bought a cocoa-nut. I selected the largest. +"No, massa, dat not good for you. Better one for buccra officer." I then +selected another, but the same objection was made. "No, massa, dis very +fine milk. Very good for de tomac." I drank off the milk from the holes +on the top of the cocoa-nut, and found it very refreshing. As for the +sailors, they appeared very fond of it indeed. But I very soon found +that if good for de tomac, it was not very good for the head, as my men, +instead of rolling the casks, began to roll themselves in all +directions, and when it was time to go off to dinner, most of them were +dead drunk at the bottom of the boat. They insisted that it was the +_sun_ which affected them. Very hot it certainly was, and I believed +them at first, when they were only giddy; but I was convinced to the +contrary when I found that they became insensible; yet how they had +procured the liquor was to me a mystery. When I came on board, Mr +Falcon, who, although acting captain, continued his duties as first +lieutenant almost as punctually as before, asked how it was that I had +allowed my men to get so tipsy. I assured him that I could not tell, +that I had never allowed one to leave the watering-place, or to buy any +liquor: the only thing that they had to drink was a little cocoa-nut +milk, which, as it was so very hot, I thought there could be no +objection to. Mr Falcon smiled and said, "Mr Simple, I'm an old stager +in the West Indies, and I'll let you into a secret. Do you know what +'_sucking the monkey_' means?" "No, sir." "Well, then, I'll tell you; it +is a term used among seamen for drinking _rum_ out of _cocoa-nuts,_ the +milk having been poured out, and the liquor substituted. Now do you +comprehend why your men are tipsy?" I stared with all my eyes, for it +never would have entered into my head; and I then perceived why it was +that the black woman would not give me the first cocoa-nuts which I +selected. I told Mr Falcon of this circumstance, who replied, "Well, it +was not your fault, only you must not forget it another time." + +It was my first watch that night, and Swinburne was quarter-master on +deck. "Swinburne," said I, "you have often been in the West Indies +before, why did you not tell me that the men were '_sucking the monkey_' +when I thought that they were only drinking cocoa-nut milk?" + +Swinburne chuckled, and answered, "Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, it didn't +become me as a ship-mate to peach. It's but seldom that a poor fellow +has an opportunity of making himself a 'little happy,' and it would not +be fair to take away the chance. I suppose you'll never let them have +cocoa-nut milk again?" + +"No, that I will not; but I cannot imagine what pleasure they can find +in getting so tipsy." + +"It's merely because they are not allowed to be so, sir. That's the +whole story in few words." + +"Well, I think I could cure them if I were permitted to try." + +"I should like to hear how you'd manage that, Mr Simple." + +"Why, I would oblige a man to drink off a half pint of liquor, and then +put him by himself. I would not allow him companions to make merry with +so as to make a pleasure of intoxication. I would then wait until next +morning when he was sober, and leave him alone with a racking headache +until the evening, when I would give him another dose, and so on, +forcing him to get drunk until he hated the smell of liquor." + +"Well, Mr Simple, it might do with some, but many of our chaps would +require the dose you mention to be repeated pretty often before it would +effect a cure; and what's more, they'd be very willing patients, and +make no wry faces at their physic." + +"Well, that might be, but it would cure them at last. But tell me, +Swinburne, were you ever in a hurricane?" + +"I've been in everything, Mr Simple, I believe, except at school, and I +never had no time to go there. Do you see that battery at Needham Point? +Well, in the hurricane of '82, them same guns were whirled away by the +wind, right over to this point here on the opposite side, the sentries +in their sentry-boxes after them. Some of the soldiers who faced the +wind had their teeth blown down their throats like broken 'baccy-pipes, +others had their heads turned round like dog vanes, 'cause they waited +for orders to the '_right about face_,' and the whole air was full of +young _niggers_ blowing about like peelings of _ingons_." + +"You don't suppose I believe all this, Swinburne?" + +"That's as may be, Mr Simple, but I've told the story so often, that I +believe it myself." + +"What ship were you in?" + +"In the _Blanche_, Captain Faulkner, who was as fine a fellow as poor +Captain Savage, whom we buried yesterday; there could not be a finer +than either of them. I was at the taking of the Pique, and carried him +down below after he had received his mortal wound. We did a pretty thing +out here when we took Fort Royal by a coup-de-_main_, which means, +boarding from the _main_-yard of the frigate, and dropping from it into +the fort. But what's that under the moon?--there's a sail in the +offing." + +Swinburne fetched the glass and directed it to the spot. "One, two, +three, four. It's the admiral, sir, and the squadron hove-to for the +night. One's a line-of-battle ship, I'll swear." I examined the vessels, +and agreeing with Swinburne, reported them to Mr Falcon. My watch was +then over, and as soon as I was released I went to my hammock. + + +END OF VOL. I. + +TURNBULL AND SPEARS, PRINTERS, EDINBURGH. + + + + +PETER SIMPLE + +AND + +THE THREE CUTTERS + + +BY + +CAPTAIN MARRYAT + + +VOL. II. + + +LONDON + +J.M. DENT AND CO. + +BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN AND CO. + +MDCCCXCV + + + + +Contents + +VOLUME II + +PETER SIMPLE + +CHAPTER XXXI 1 + +CHAPTER XXXII 12 + +CHAPTER XXXIII 24 + +CHAPTER XXXIV 38 + +CHAPTER XXXV 45 + +CHAPTER XXXVI 53 + +CHAPTER XXXVII 59 + +CHAPTER XXXVIII 68 + +CHAPTER XXXIX 80 + +CHAPTER XL 87 + +CHAPTER XLI 96 + +CHAPTER XLII 105 + +CHAPTER XLIII 111 + +CHAPTER XLIV 117 + +CHAPTER XLV 123 + +CHAPTER XLVI 128 + +CHAPTER XLVII 134 + +CHAPTER XLVIII 140 + +CHAPTER XLIX 146 + +CHAPTER L 153 + +CHAPTER LI 160 + +CHAPTER LII 169 + +CHAPTER LIII 175 + +CHAPTER LIV 180 + +CHAPTER LV 186 + +CHAPTER LVI 195 + +CHAPTER LVII 203 + +CHAPTER LVIII 209 + +CHAPTER LIX 217 + +CHAPTER LX 221 + +CHAPTER LXI 225 + +CHAPTER LXII 232 + +CHAPTER LXIII 238 + +CHAPTER LXIV 244 + +CHAPTER LXV 255 + + + +_THE THREE CUTTERS_ + + +CHAPTER I 267 + +CHAPTER II 279 + +CHAPTER III 287 + +CHAPTER IV 293 + +CHAPTER V 302 + +CHAPTER VI 313 + +CHAPTER VII 321 + + + + + +Peter Simple + + + + +Chapter XXXI + +Captain Kearney--The dignity ball. + + +The next morning at daylight we exchanged numbers, and saluted the flag, +and by eight o'clock they all anchored. Mr Falcon went on board the +admiral's ship with despatches, and to report the death of Captain +Savage. In about half an hour he returned, and we were glad to perceive, +with a smile upon his face, from which we argued that he would receive +his acting order as commander, which was a question of some doubt, as +the admiral had the power to give the vacancy to whom he pleased, +although it would not have been fair if he had not given it to Mr +Falcon; not that Mr Falcon would not have received his commission, as +Captain Savage dying when the ship was under no admiral's command, he +_made himself_; but still the admiral might have sent him home, and not +have given him a ship. But this he did, the captain of the _Minerve_ +being appointed to the _Sanglier_, the captain of the _Opossum_ to the +_Minerve_, and Captain Falcon taking command of the _Opossum_. He +received his commission that evening, and the next day the exchanges +were made. Captain Falcon would have taken me with him, and offered so +to do; but I could not leave O'Brien, so I preferred remaining in the +_Sanglier_. + +We were all anxious to know what sort of a person our new captain was, +whose name was Kearney; but we had no time to ask the midshipmen, except +when they came in charge of the boats which brought his luggage; they +replied generally, that he was a very good sort of fellow, and there was +no harm in him. But when I had the night watch with Swinburne, he came +up to me, and said, "Well, Mr Simple, so we have a new captain. I sailed +with him for two years in a brig." + +"And pray, Swinburne, what sort of a person is he?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple: he's a good-tempered, kind fellow +enough, but--" + +"But what?" + +"Such a _bouncer_!!" + +"How do you mean? He's not a very stout man." + +"Bless you, Mr Simple, why you don't understand English. I mean that +he's the greatest liar that ever walked a deck. Now, Mr Simple, you know +I can spin a yarn occasionally." + +"Yes, that you can, witness the hurricane the other night." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I cannot _hold a candle_ to him. It a'n't that I might +not stretch now and then, just for fun, as far as he can, but, d----n +it, he's always on the stretch. In fact, Mr Simple, he never tells the +truth except _by mistake_. He's as poor as a rat, and has nothing but +his pay; yet to believe him, he is worth at least as much as Greenwich +Hospital. But you'll soon find him out, and he'll sarve to laugh at +behind his back, you know, Mr Simple, for that's _no go_ before his +face." + +Captain Kearney made his appearance on board the next day. The men were +mustered to receive him, and all the officers were on the quarter-deck. +"You've a fine set of marines here, Captain Falcon," observed he; "those +I left on board of the _Minerve_ were only fit to be _hung_; and you +have a good show of reefers too--those I left in the _Minerve_ were not +_worth hanging_. If you please, I'll read my commission, if you'll order +the men aft." His commission was read, all hands with their hats off +from respect to the authority from which it proceeded. "Now, my lads," +said Captain Kearney, addressing the ship's company, "I've but few words +to say to you. I am appointed to command this ship, and you appear to +have a very good character from your late first lieutenant. All I +request of you is this: be smart, keep sober, and always _tell the +truth_--that's enough. Pipe down. Gentlemen," continued he, addressing +the officers, "I trust that we shall be good friends; and I see no +reason that it should be otherwise." He then turned away with a bow, and +called his coxswain--"Williams, you'll go on board, and tell my steward +that I have promised to dine with the governor to-day, and that he must +come to dress me; and, coxswain, recollect to put the sheepskin mat on +the stern gratings of my gig--not the one I used to have when I was on +shore in my _carriage_, but the blue one which was used for the +_chariot_--you know which I mean." I happened to look Swinburne in the +face, who cocked his eye at me, as much as to say--"There he goes." We +afterwards met the officers of the _Minerve_, who corroborated all that +Swinburne had said, although it was quite unnecessary, as we had the +captain's own words every minute to satisfy us of the fact. + +Dinner parties were now very numerous, and the hospitality of the island +is but too well known. The invitations extended to the midshipmen, and +many was the good dinner and kind reception which I had during my stay. +There was, however, one thing I had heard so much of, that I was anxious +to witness it, which was a _dignity ball_. But I must enter a little +into explanation, or my readers will not understand me. The coloured +people of Barbadoes, for reasons best known to themselves, are +immoderately proud, and look upon all the negroes who are born on other +islands as _niggers_; they have also an extraordinary idea of their own +bravery, although I never heard that it has ever been put to the proof. +The free Barbadians are, most of them, very rich, and hold up their +heads as they walk with an air quite ridiculous. They ape the manners of +the Europeans, at the same time that they appear to consider them as +almost their inferiors. Now, a _dignity_ ball is a ball given by the +most consequential of their coloured people, and from the amusement and +various other reasons, is generally well attended by the officers both +on shore and afloat. The price of the tickets of admission was high--I +think they were half a joe, or eight dollars each. + +The governor sent out cards for a grand ball and supper for the ensuing +week, and Miss Betsy Austin, a quadroon woman, ascertaining the fact, +sent out her cards for the same evening. This was not altogether in +_rivalry_, but for another reason, which was, that she was aware that +most of the officers and midshipmen of the ships would obtain permission +to go to the governor's ball, and, preferring hers, would slip away and +join the party, by which means she ensured a full attendance. + +On the day of invitation our captain came on board, and told our new +first lieutenant (of whom I shall say more hereafter) that the governor +insisted that all _his_ officers should go--that he would take no +denial, and, therefore, he presumed, go they must; that the fact was, +that the governor was a _relation_ of his wife, and under some trifling +obligations to him in obtaining for him his present command. He +certainly had spoken to the _prime minister_, and he thought it not +impossible, considering the intimate terms which the minister and he had +been on from childhood, that his solicitation might have had some +effect; at all events, it was pleasant to find that there was some +little gratitude left in this world. After this, of course, every +officer went, with the exception of the master, who said that he'd as +soon have two round turns in his hawse as go to see people kick their +legs about like fools, and that he'd take care of the ship. + +The governor's ball was very splendid, but the ladies were rather +sallow, from the effects of the climate. However, there were exceptions, +and on the whole it was a very gay affair; but we were all anxious to go +to the _dignity_ ball of Miss Betsy Austin. I slipped away with three +other midshipmen, and we soon arrived there. A crowd of negroes were +outside of the house; but the ball had not yet commenced, from the want +of gentlemen, the ball being very correct, nothing under mulatto in +colour being admitted. Perhaps I ought to say here, that the progeny of +a white and a negro is a mulatto, or half and half--of a white and +mulatto, a _quadroon_, or one-quarter black, and of this class the +company were chiefly composed. I believe a quadroon and white make the +_mustee_ or one-eighth black, and the mustee and white the mustafina, or +one-sixteenth black. After that, they are _whitewashed_, and considered +as Europeans. The pride of colour is very great in the West Indies, and +they have as many quarterings as a German prince in his coat of arms; a +quadroon looks down upon a mulatto, while a mulatto looks down upon a +_sambo_, that is, half mulatto half negro, while a sambo in his turn +looks down upon a _nigger_. The quadroons are certainly the handsomest +race of the whole, some of the women are really beautiful; their hair is +long and perfectly straight, their eyes large and black, their figures +perfection, and you can see the colour mantle in their cheeks quite as +plainly, and with as much effect, as in those of a European. We found +the door of Miss Austin's house open, and ornamented with orange +branches, and on our presenting ourselves were accosted by a mulatto +gentleman, who was, we presumed, "usher of the black rod." His head was +well powdered, he was dressed in white jean trousers, a waistcoat not +six inches long, and a half-worn post-captain's coat on, as a livery, +With a low bow, he "took de liberty to trouble de gentlemen for de card +for de ball," which being produced, we were ushered on by him to the +ball-room, at the door of which Miss Austin was waiting to receive her +company. She made us a low courtesy, observing, "She really happy to see +de _gentlemen_ of de ship, but hoped to see de _officers_ also at her +_dignity_." + +This remark touched our _dignity_, and one of my companions replied, +"That we midshipmen considered ourselves officers, and no _small_ ones +either, and that if she waited for the lieutenants she must wait until +they were tired of the governor's ball, we having given the preference +to hers." This remark set all to rights; sangaree was handed about, and +I looked around at the company. I must acknowledge, at the risk of +losing the good opinion of my fair countrywomen, that I never saw before +so many pretty figures and faces. The _officers_ not having yet arrived, +we received all the attention, and I was successively presented to Miss +Eurydice, Miss Minerva, Miss Sylvia, Miss Aspasia, Miss Euterpe, and +many others, evidently borrowed from the different men-of-war which had +been on the station. All these young ladies gave themselves all the airs +of Almack's. Their dresses I cannot pretend to describe--jewels of value +were not wanting, but their drapery was slight; they appeared neither to +wear nor to require stays, and on the whole, their figures were so +perfect that they could only be ill dressed by having on too much dress. +A few more midshipmen and some lieutenants (O'Brien among the number) +having made their appearance, Miss Austin directed that the ball should +commence. I requested the honour of Miss Eurydice's hand in a cotillon, +which was to open the ball. At this moment stepped forth the premier +violin, master of the ceremonies and ballet-master, Massa Johnson, +really a very smart man, who gave lessons in dancing to all the "'Badian +ladies." He was a dark quadroon, his hair slightly powdered, dressed in +a light blue coat thrown well back, to show his lily-white waistcoat, +only one button of which he could afford to button to make full room for +the pride of his heart, the frill of his shirt, which really was _un +Jabot superb_, four inches wide, and extending from his collar to the +waistband of his nankeen tights, which were finished off at his knees +with huge bunches of ribbon; his legs were encased in silk stockings, +which, however, was not very good taste on his part, as they showed the +manifest advantage which an European has over a coloured man in the +formation of the leg: instead of being straight, his shins curved like a +cheese-knife, and, moreover, his leg was planted into his foot like the +handle into a broom or scrubbing-brush, there being quite as much of the +foot on the heel side as on the toe side. Such was the appearance of Mr +Apollo Johnson, whom the ladies considered as the _ne plus ultra_ of +fashion, and the _arbiter elegantiarum_. His _bow-tick_, or +fiddle-stick, was his wand, whose magic rap on the fiddle produced +immediate obedience to his mandates. "Ladies and gentle, take your +seats." All started up. "Miss Eurydice, you open de ball." + +Miss Eurydice had but a sorry partner, but she undertook to instruct me. +O'Brien was our _vis-à -vis_ with Miss Euterpe. The other gentlemen were +officers from the ships, and we stood up twelve, checkered brown and +white, like a chess-board. All eyes were fixed upon Mr Apollo Johnson, +who first looked at the couples, then at his fiddle, and lastly, at the +other musicians, to see if all was right, and then with a wave of his +_bow-tick_ the music began. "Massa lieutenant," cried Apollo to O'Brien, +"cross over to opposite lady, right hand and left, den figure to Miss +Eurydice--dat right; now four hand round. You lilly midshipman, set your +partner, sir; den twist her round; dat do; now stop. First figure all +over." + +At this time I thought I might venture to talk a little with my partner, +and I ventured a remark; to my surprise she answered very sharply, "I +come here for dance, sar, and not for chatter; look, Massa Johnson, he +tap um bow-tick." + +The second figure commenced, and I made a sad bungle; so I did of the +third, and fourth, and fifth, for I never had danced a cotillon. When I +handed my partner to her place, who certainly was the prettiest girl in +the room, she looked rather contemptuously at me, and observed to a +neighbour, "I really pity de gentleman as come from England dat no know +how to dance nor nothing at all, until em hab instruction at Barbadoes." + +A country dance was now called for, which was more acceptable to all +parties, as none of Mr Apollo Johnson's pupils were very perfect in +their cotillon, and none of the officers, except O'Brien, knew anything +about them. O'Brien's superior education on this point, added to his +lieutenant's epaulet and handsome person, made him much courted; but he +took up with Miss Eurydice after I had left her, and remained with her +the whole evening; thereby exciting the jealousy of Mr Apollo Johnson, +who, it appears, was amorous in that direction. Our party increased +every minute; all the officers of the garrison, and, finally, as soon as +they could get away, the governor's aid-de-camps, all dressed in _mufti_ +(i.e., plain clothes). The dancing continued until three o'clock in the +morning, when it was quite a squeeze, from the constant arrival of fresh +recruits from all the houses of Barbadoes. I must say, that a few +bottles of eau de Cologne thrown about the room would have improved the +atmosphere. By this time the heat was terrible, and the _mopping_ of the +ladies' faces everlasting. I would recommend a DIGNITY ball to all stout +gentlemen who wish to be reduced a stone or two. Supper was now +announced, and having danced the last country dance with Miss Minerva, I +of course had the pleasure of handing her into the supper-room. It was +my fate to sit opposite to a fine turkey, and I asked my partner if I +should have the pleasure of helping her to a piece of the breast. She +looked at me very indignantly, and said, "Curse your impudence, sar, I +wonder where you larn manners. Sar, I take a lilly turkey _bosom_, if +you please. Talk of _breast_ to a lady, sar;--really quite _horrid_." I +made two or three more barbarous mistakes before the supper was +finished. At last the eating was over, and I must say a better supper I +never sat down to. "Silence, gentlemen and ladies," cried Mr Apollo +Johnson. "Wid the permission of our amiable hostess, I will propose a +toast. Gentlemen and ladies--You all know, and if be so you don't, I say +that there no place in the world like Barbadoes. All de world fight +against England, but England nebber fear; King George nebber fear, while +_Barbadoes 'tand 'tiff_. 'Badian fight for King George to last drop of +him blood. Nebber see the day 'Badian run away; you all know dem +Frenchmans at San Lucee, give up Morne Fortunee, when he hear de 'Badian +volunteer come against him. I hope no 'fence present company, but um +sorry to say English come here too jealous of 'Badians. Gentlemen and +lady--Barbadian born ab only one fault--he _really too brave_. I propose +health of 'Island of Barbadoes.'" Acclamations from all quarters +followed this truly modest speech, and the toast was drunk with rapture; +the ladies were delighted with Mr Apollo's eloquence, and the lead which +he took in the company. + +O'Brien then rose and addressed the company as follows:-- + +"Ladies and gentlemen--Mr Poll has spoken better than the best parrot I +ever met with in this country, but as he has thought proper to drink the +'Island of Barbadoes,' I mean to be a little more particular. I wish, +with him, all good health to the island; but there is a charm without +which the island would be a desert--that is, the society of the lovely +girls which now surround us, and take our hearts by storm--" (here +O'Brien put his arm gently round Miss Eurydice's waist, and Mr Apollo +ground his teeth so as to be heard at the furthest end of the room)"-- +therefore, gentlemen, with your permission, I will propose the health of +the ''Badian Ladies.'" This speech of O'Brien's was declared, by the +females at least, to be infinitely superior to Mr Apollo Johnson's. Miss +Eurydice was even more gracious, and the other ladies were more envious. + +Many other toasts and much more wine was drunk, until the male part of +the company appeared to be rather riotous. Mr Apollo, however, had to +regain his superiority, and after some hems and hahs, begged permission +to give a sentiment. "Gentlemen and ladies, I beg then to say-- + + "Here's to de cock who make lub to de hen, + Crow till he hoarse and make lub again." + +This _sentiment_ was received with rapture; and after silence was +obtained, Miss Betsy Austin rose and said--"Unaccustomed as she was to +public 'peaking, she must not sit 'till and not tank de gentleman for +his very fine toast, and in de name of de ladies she begged to propose +another sentimen', which was-- + + "Here to de hen what nebber refuses, + Let cock pay compliment whenebber he chooses." + +If the first toast was received with applause, this was with enthusiasm; +but we received a damper after it was subsided, by the lady of the house +getting up and saying--"Now, gentlemen and ladies, me tink it right to +say dat it time to go home; I nebber allow people get drunk or kick up +bobbery in my house, so now I tink we better take parting-glass, and +very much obliged to you for your company." + +As O'Brien said, this was a broad hint to be off, so we all now took our +parting-glass, in compliance with her request, and our own wishes, and +proceeded to escort our partners on their way home. While I was +assisting Miss Minerva to her red crape shawl, a storm was brewing in +another quarter, to wit, between Mr Apollo Johnson and O'Brien. O'Brien +was assiduously attending to Miss Eurydice, whispering what he called +soft blarney in her ear, when Mr Apollo, who was above spirit-boiling +heat with jealousy, came up, and told Miss Eurydice that he would have +the honour of escorting her home. + +"You may save yourself the trouble, you dingy gut-scraper," replied +O'Brien; "the lady is under my protection, so take your ugly black face +out of the way, or I'll show you how I treat a ''Badian who is really +too brave.'" + +"So 'elp me Gad, Massa Lieutenant, 'pose you put finger on me, I show +you what 'Badian can do." + +Apollo then attempted to insert himself between O'Brien and his lady, +upon which O'Brien shoved him back with great violence, and continued +his course towards the door. They were in the passage when I came up, +for hearing O'Brien's voice in anger, I left Miss Minerva to shift for +herself. + +Miss Eurydice had now left O'Brien's arm, at his request, and he and Mr +Apollo were standing in the passage, O'Brien close to the door, which +was shut, and Apollo swaggering up to him. O'Brien, who knew the tender +part of a black, saluted Apollo with a kick on the shins which would +have broken my leg. Massa Johnson roared with pain, and recoiled two or +three paces, parting the crowd away behind him. The blacks never fight +with fists, but butt with their heads like rams, and with quite as much +force. When Mr Apollo had retreated, he gave his shin one more rub, +uttered a loud yell, and started at O'Brien, with his head aimed at +O'Brien's chest, like a battering-ram. O'Brien, who was aware of this +plan of fighting, stepped dexterously on one side, and allowed Mr Apollo +to pass by him, which he did with such force, that his head went clean +through the panel of the door behind O'Brien, and there he stuck as fast +as if in a pillory, squeaking like a pig for assistance, and foaming +with rage. After some difficulty he was released, and presented a very +melancholy figure. His face was much cut, and his superb _Jabot_ all in +tatters; he appeared, however, to have had quite enough of it, as he +retreated to the supper-room, followed by some of his admirers, without +asking or looking after O'Brien. + +But if Mr Apollo had had enough of it, his friends were too indignant to +allow us to go off scot free. A large mob was collected in the street, +vowing vengeance on us for our treatment of their flash man, and a row +was to be expected. Miss Eurydice had escaped, so that O'Brien had his +hands free. "Cam out, you hangman tiefs, cam out; only wish had rock +stones, to mash your heads with," cried the mob of negroes. The officers +now sallied out in a body, and were saluted with every variety of +missile, such as rotten oranges, cabbage-stalks, mud, and cocoa-nut +shells. We fought our way manfully, but as we neared the beach the mob +increased to hundreds, and at last we could proceed no further, being +completely jammed up by the niggers, upon whose heads we could make no +more impression than upon blocks of marble. "We must draw our swords," +observed an officer. "No, no," replied O'Brien, "that will not do; if +once we shed blood, they will never let us get on board with our lives. +The boat's crew by this time must be aware that there is a row." O'Brien +was right. He had hardly spoken, before a lane was observed to be made +through the crowd in the distance, which in two minutes was open to us. +Swinburne appeared in the middle of it, followed by the rest of the +boat's crew, armed with the boat's stretchers, which they did not aim at +the _heads_ of the blacks, but swept them like scythes against their +_shins_. This they continued to do, right and left of us, as we walked +through and went down to the boats, the seamen closing up the rear with +their stretchers, with which they ever and anon made a sweep at the +black fellows if they approached too near. It was now broad daylight, +and in a few minutes we were again safely on board the frigate. Thus +ended the first and last dignity ball that I attended. + + + + +Chapter XXXII + +I am claimed by Captain Kearney as a relation--Trial of skill between +first lieutenant and captain with the long bow--The shark, the pug-dog, +and the will--A quarter-deck picture. + + +As the admiral was not one who would permit the ships under his command +to lie idle in port, in a very few days after the dignity ball which I +have described, all the squadron sailed on their various destinations. I +was not sorry to leave the bay, for one soon becomes tired of profusion, +and cared nothing for either oranges, bananas, or shaddocks, nor even +for, the good dinners and claret at the tables of the army mess and +gentlemen of the island. The sea breeze soon became more precious to us +than anything else, and if we could have bathed without the fear of a +shark, we should have equally appreciated that most refreshing of all +luxuries under the torrid zone. It was therefore with pleasure that we +received the information that we were to sail the next day to cruise off +the French island of Martinique. Captain Kearney had been so much on +shore that we saw but little of him, and the ship was entirely under the +control of the first lieutenant, of whom I have hitherto not spoken. He +was a very short, pock-marked man, with red hair and whiskers, a good +sailor, and not a bad officer; that is, he was a practical sailor, and +could show any foremast man his duty in any department--and this seamen +very much appreciate, as it is not very common; but I never yet knew an +officer who prided himself upon his practical knowledge, who was at the +same time a good navigator, and too often, by assuming the Jack Tar, +they lower the respect due to them, and become coarse and vulgar in +their manners and language. This was the case with Mr Phillott, who +prided himself upon his slang, and who was at one time "hail fellow well +met" with the seamen, talking to them, and being answered as familiarly +as if they were equals, and at another, knocking the very same men down +with a handspike if he was displeased. He was not bad-tempered, but very +hasty; and his language to the officers was occasionally very incorrect; +to the midshipmen invariably so. However, on the whole, he was not +disliked, although he was certainly not respected as a first lieutenant +should have been. It is but fair to say, that he was the same to his +superiors as he was to his inferiors, and the bluntness with which he +used to contradict and assert his disbelief of Captain Kearney's +narratives often produced a coolness between them for some days. + +The day after we sailed from Carlisle Bay I was asked to dine in the +cabin. The dinner was served upon plated dishes, which looked very +grand, but there was not much in them. "This plate," observed the +captain, "was presented to me by some merchants for my exertions in +saving their property from the Danes when I was cruising off +Heligoland." + +"Why, that lying steward of yours told me that you bought it at +Portsmouth," replied the first lieutenant: "I asked him in the galley +this morning." + +"How came you to assert such a confounded falsehood, sir?" said the +captain to the man who stood behind his chair. + +"I only said that I thought so," replied the steward. + +"Why, didn't you say that the bill had been sent in, through you, seven +or eight times, and that the captain had paid it with a flowing sheet?" + +"Did you dare say that, sir?" interrogated the captain, very angrily. + +"Mr Phillott mistook me, sir?" replied the steward. "He was so busy +damning the sweepers, that he did not hear me right. I said, the +midshipmen had paid their crockery bill with the fore-topsail." + +"Ay! ay!" replied the captain, "that's much more likely." + +"Well, Mr Steward," replied Mr Phillott, "I'll be d----d if you ar'n't +as big a liar as your--" (master, he was going to plump out, but +fortunately the first lieutenant checked himself, and added)--"as your +father was before you." + +The captain changed the conversation by asking me whether I would take a +slice of ham. "It's real Westphalia, Mr Simple; I have them sent me +direct by Count Troningsken, an intimate friend of mine, who kills his +own wild boars in the Hartz mountains." + +"How the devil do you get them over, Captain Kearney?" + +"There are ways and means of doing everything, Mr Phillott, and the +First Consul is not quite so bad as he is represented. The first batch +was sent over with a very handsome letter to me, written in his own +hand, which I will show you some of these days. I wrote to him in +return, and sent to him two Cheshire cheeses by a smuggler, and since +that they came regularly. Did you ever eat Westphalia ham, Mr Simple?" + +"Yes," replied I; "once I partook of one at Lord Privilege's." + +"Lord Privilege! why he's a distant relation of mine, a sort of fifth +cousin," replied Captain Kearney. + +"Indeed, sir!" replied I. + +"Then you must allow me to introduce you to a relation, Captain +Kearney," said the first lieutenant; "for Mr Simple is his grandson." + +"Is it possible? I can only say, Mr Simple, that I shall be most happy +to show you every attention, and am very glad that I have you as one of +my officers." + +Now although this was all false, for Captain Kearney was not in the +remotest manner connected with my family, yet having once asserted it, +he could not retract, and the consequence was, that I was much the +gainer by his falsehood, as he treated me very kindly afterwards, always +calling me _cousin_. + +The first lieutenant smiled and gave me a wink, when the captain had +finished his speech to me, as much as to say, "You're in luck," and then +the conversation changed. Captain Kearney certainly dealt in the +marvellous to admiration, and really told his stories with such +earnestness, that I actually believe that he thought he was telling the +truth. Never was there such an instance of confirmed habit. Telling a +story of a cutting-out expedition, he said, "The French captain would +have fallen by my hand, but just as I levelled my musket, a ball came, +and cut off the cock of the lock as clean as if it was done with a +knife--a very remarkable instance," observed he. + +"Not equal to what occurred in a ship I was in," replied the first +lieutenant, "when the second lieutenant was grazed by a grape-shot, +which cut off one of his whiskers, and turning round his head to +ascertain what was the matter, another grape-shot came and took off the +other. Now that's what I call a _close shave_." + +"Yes," replied Captain Kearney, "very close, indeed, if it were true; +but you'll excuse me, Mr Phillott, but you sometimes tell strange +stories. I do not mind it myself, but the example is not good to my +young relation here, Mr Simple." + +"Captain Kearney," replied the first lieutenant, laughing very +immoderately, "do you know what the pot called the kettle?" + +"No, sir, I do not," retorted the captain, with offended dignity. "Mr +Simple, will you take a glass of wine?" + +I thought that this little _brouillerie_ would have checked the captain; +it did so, but only for a few minutes, when he again commenced. The +first lieutenant observed that it would be necessary to let water into +the ship every morning, and pump it out, to avoid the smell of the +bilge-water. "There are worse smells than bilge-water," replied the +captain. "What do you think of a whole ship's company being nearly +poisoned with otto of roses? Yet that occurred to me when in the +Mediterranean. I was off Smyrna, cruising for a French ship, that was to +sail to France, with a pasha on board, as an ambassador. I knew she +would be a good prize, and was looking sharp out, when one morning we +discovered her on the lee bow. We made all sail, but she walked away +from us, bearing away gradually till we were both before the wind, and +at night we lost sight of her. As I knew that she was bound to +Marseilles, I made all sail to fall in with her again. The wind was +light and variable; but five days afterwards, as I lay in my cot, just +before daylight, I smelt a very strong smell, blowing in at the weather +port, and coming down the skylight, which was open; and after sniffing +at it two or three times, I knew it to be otto of roses. I sent for the +officer of the watch, and asked him if there was anything in sight. He +replied 'that there was not;' and I ordered him to sweep the horizon +with his glass, and look well out to windward. As the wind freshened, +the smell became more powerful. I ordered him to get the royal yards +across, and all ready to make sail, for I knew that the Turk must be +near us. At daylight there he was, just three miles ahead in the wind's +eye. But although he beat us going free, he was no match for us, on a +wind, and before noon we had possession of him and all his harem. +By-the-by, I could tell you a good story about the ladies. She was a +very valuable prize, and among other things, she had a _puncheon_ of +otto of roses on board--." + +"Whew!" cried the first lieutenant. "What! a whole puncheon?" + +"Yes," replied the captain, "a Turkish puncheon--not quite so large, +perhaps, as ours on board; their weights and measures are different. I +took out most of the valuables into the brig I commanded--about 20,000 +sequins--carpets--and among the rest, this cask of otto of roses, which +we had smelt three miles off. We had it safe on board, when the mate of +the hold, not slinging it properly, it fell into the spirit-room with a +run, and was stove to pieces. Never was such a scene; my first +lieutenant and several men on deck fainted; and the men in the hold were +brought up lifeless; it was some time before they were recovered. We let +the water into the brig, and pumped it out, but nothing would take away +the smell, which was so overpowering, that before I could get to Malta I +had forty men on the sick list. When I arrived there, I turned the mate +out of the service for his carelessness. It was not until after having +smoked the brig, and finding that of little use, after having sunk her +for three weeks, that the smell was at all bearable; but even then it +could never be eradicated, and the admiral sent the brig home, and she +was sold out of the service. They could do nothing with her at the +dockyards. She was broken up, and bought by the people at Brighton and +Tunbridge Wells, who used her timbers for turning fancy articles, which, +smelling as they did, so strongly of otto of roses, proved very +profitable. Were you ever at Brighton, Mr Simple?" + +"Never, sir." + +Just at this moment, the officer of the watch came down to say that +there was a very large shark under the counter, and wished to know if +the captain had any objection to the officers attempting to catch it. + +"By no means," replied Captain Kearney; "I hate sharks as I do the +devil. I nearly lost £14,000 by one, when I was in the Mediterranean." + +"May I inquire how, Captain Kearney?" said the first lieutenant, with a +demure face; "I'm very anxious to know." + +"Why the story is simply this," replied the captain. "I had an old +relation at Malta, whom I found out by accident--an old maid of sixty, +who had lived all her life on the island. It was by mere accident that I +knew of her existence. I was walking upon Strada Reale, when I saw a +large baboon that was kept there, who had a little fat pug-dog by the +tail, which he was pulling away with him, while an old lady was +screaming out for help: for whenever she ran to assist her dog, the +baboon made at her as if he would have ravished her, and caught her by +the petticoats with one hand, while he held the pug-dog fast by the +other. I owed that brute a spite for having attacked me one night when I +passed him, and perceiving what was going on, I drew my sword and gave +Mr Jacko such a clip as sent him away howling, and bleeding like a pig, +leaving me in possession of the little pug, which I took up and handed +to his mistress. The old lady trembled very much, and begged me to see +her safe home. She had a very fine house, and after she was seated on +the sofa, thanked me very much for my gallant assistance, as she termed +it, and told me her name was Kearney: upon this I very soon proved my +relationship with her, at which she was much delighted, requesting me to +consider her house as my home. I was for two years afterwards on that +station, and played my cards very well; and the old lady gave me a hint +that I should be her heir, as she had no other relations that she knew +anything of. At last I was ordered home, and not wishing to leave her, I +begged her to accompany me, offering her my cabin. She was taken very +ill a fortnight before we sailed, and made a will, leaving me her sole +heir; but she recovered, and got as fat as ever. Mr Simple, the wine +stands with you. I doubt if Lord Privilege gave you better claret than +there is in that bottle; I imported it myself ten years ago, when I +commanded the _Coquette_." + +"Very odd," observed the first lieutenant--"we bought some at Barbadoes +with the same mark on the bottles and cork." + +"That may be," replied the captain; "old-established houses all keep up +the same marks; but I doubt if your wine can be compared to this." + +As Mr Phillott wished to hear the end of the captain's story, he would +not contradict him this time, by stating what he knew to be the case, +that the captain had sent it on board at Barbadoes; and the captain +proceeded. + +"Well, I gave up my cabin to the old lady, and hung up my cot in the +gun-room during the passage home. + +"We were becalmed abreast of Ceuta for two days. The old lady was very +particular about her pug-dog, and I superintended the washing of the +little brute twice a week; but at last I was tired of it, and gave him +to my coxswain to bathe. My coxswain, who was a lazy fellow, without my +knowledge, used to put the little beast into the bight of a rope, and +tow him overboard for a minute or so. It was during this calm that he +had him overboard in this way, when a confounded shark rose from under +the counter, and took in the pug-dog at one mouthful. The coxswain +reported the loss as a thing of no consequence; but I knew better, and +put the fellow in irons. I then went down and broke the melancholy fact +to Miss Kearney, stating that I had put the man in irons, and would flog +him well. The old lady broke out into a most violent passion at the +intelligence, declared that it was my fault, that I was jealous of the +dog, and had done it on purpose. The more I protested, the more she +raved; and at last I was obliged to go on deck to avoid her abuse and +keep my temper. I had not been on deck five minutes before she came up-- +that is, was shoved up--for she was so heavy that she could not get up +without assistance. You know how elephants in India push the cannon +through a morass with their heads from behind; well, my steward used to +shove her up the companion-ladder just in the same way, with his head +completely buried in her petticoats. As soon as she was up, he used to +pull his head out, looking as red and hot as a fresh-boiled lobster. +Well, up she came, with her will in her hand, and, looking at me very +fiercely, she said, 'Since the shark has taken my dear dog, he may have +my will also,' and, throwing it overboard, she plumped down on the +carronade slide. 'It's very well, madam,' said I, 'but you'll be cool +by-and-by, and then you'll make another will.' 'I swear by all the hopes +that I have of going to heaven that I never will!' she replied. 'Yes, +you will, madam,' replied I. 'Never, so help me God! Captain Kearney; my +money may now go to my next heir, and that, you know, will not be you.' +Now, as I knew very well that the old lady was very positive and as good +as her word, my object was to recover the will, which was floating about +fifty yards astern, without her knowledge. I thought a moment, and then +I called the boatswain's mate to _pipe all hands to bathe_. 'You'll +excuse me, Miss Kearney,' said I, 'but the men are going to bathe, and I +do not think you would like to see them all naked. If you would, you can +stay on deck.' She looked daggers at me, and, rising from the carronade +slide, hobbled to the ladder, saying, 'that the insult was another proof +of how little I deserved any kindness from her.' As soon as she was +below, the quarter-boats were lowered down, and I went in one of them +and picked up the will, which still floated. Brigs having no +stern-windows, of course she could not see my manoeuvre, but thought +that the will was lost for ever. We had very bad weather after that, +owing to which, with the loss of her favourite pug, and constant +quarrelling with me--for I did all I could to annoy her afterwards--she +fell ill, and was buried a fortnight after she was landed at Plymouth. +The old lady kept her word; she never made another will. I proved the +one I had recovered at Doctors' Commons, and touched the whole of her +money." + +As neither the first lieutenant nor I could prove whether the story was +true or not, of course we expressed our congratulations at his good +fortune, and soon afterwards left the cabin to report his marvellous +story to our messmates. When I went on deck, I found that the shark had +just been hooked, and was hauling on board. Mr Phillott had also come on +deck. The officers were all eager about the shark, and were looking over +the side, calling to each other, and giving directions to the men. Now, +although certainly there was a want of decorum on the quarter-deck, +still, the captain having given permission, it was to be excused; but Mr +Phillott thought otherwise, and commenced in his usual style, beginning +with the marine officer. + +"Mr Westley, I'll trouble you not to be getting upon the hammocks. +You'll get off directly, sir. If one of your fellows were to do so, I'd +stop his grog for a month, and I don't see why you are to set a bad +example; you've been too long in barracks, sir, by half. Who is that? Mr +Williams and Mr Moore--both on the hammocks, too. Up to the foretopmast +head, both of you, directly. Mr Thomas, up to the main; and I say, you +youngster, stealing off, perch yourself upon the spanker-boom, and let +me know when you've rode to London. By God! the service is going to +hell! I don't know what officers are made of now-a-days. I'll marry some +of you young gentlemen to the gunner's daughter before long. +Quarter-deck's no better than a bear-garden. No wonder, when lieutenants +set the example." + +This latter remark could only be applied to O'Brien, who stood in the +quarter-boat giving directions, before the tirade of Mr Phillott stopped +the amusement of the party. O'Brien immediately stepped out of the boat, +and going up to Mr Phillott, touched his hat, and said, "Mr Phillott, we +had the captain's permission to catch the shark, and a shark is not to +be got on board by walking up and down on the quarter-deck. As regards +myself, as long as the captain is on board, I hold myself responsible to +him alone for my conduct; and if you think I have done wrong, forward +your complaint; but if you pretend to use such language to me, as you +have to others, I shall hold you responsible. I am here, sir, as an +officer and a gentleman, and will be treated as such; and allow me to +observe, that I consider the quarter-deck more disgraced by foul and +ungentlemanly language, than I do by an officer accidentally standing +upon the hammocks. However, as you have thought proper to interfere, you +may now get the shark on board yourself." + +Mr Phillott turned very red, for he never had come in contact in this +way with O'Brien. All the other officers had submitted quietly to his +unpleasant manner of speaking to them. "Very well, Mr O'Brien; I shall +hold you answerable for this language," replied he, "and shall most +certainly report your conduct to the captain." + +"I will save you the trouble; Captain Kearney is now coming up, and I +will report it myself." + +This O'Brien did, upon the captain's putting his foot on the +quarter-deck. + +"Well," observed the captain to Mr Phillott, "what is it you complain +of?" + +"Mr O'Brien's language, sir. Am I to be addressed on the quarter-deck in +that manner?" + +"I really must say, Mr Phillott," replied Captain Kearney, "that I do +not perceive anything in what Mr O'Brien said, but what is correct. I +command here; and if an officer so nearly equal in rank to yourself has +committed himself, you are not to take the law into your own hands. The +fact is, Mr Phillott, your language is not quite so correct as I could +wish it. I overheard every word that passed, and I consider that _you_ +have treated _your superior_ officer with disrespect--that is, _me_. I +gave permission that the shark should be caught, and with that +permission, I consequently allowed those little deviations from the +discipline of the service which must inevitably take place. Yet you have +thought proper to interfere with my permission, which is tantamount to +an order, and have made use of harsh language, and punished the young +gentlemen for obeying my injunctions. You will oblige me, sir, by +calling them all down, and in restraining your petulance for the future. +I will always support your authority when you are correct; but I regret +that in this instance you have necessitated me to weaken it." + +This was a most severe check to Mr Phillott, who immediately went below, +after hailing the mastheads and calling down the midshipmen. As soon as +he was gone we were all on the hammocks again; the shark was hauled +forward, hoisted on board, and every frying-pan in the ship was in +requisition. We were all much pleased with Captain Kearney's conduct on +this occasion; and, as O'Brien observed to me, "He really is a good +fellow and clever officer. What a thousand pities it is, that he is such +a confounded liar!" I must do Mr Phillott the justice to say that he +bore no malice on this occasion, but treated us as before, which is +saying a great deal in his favour, when it is considered what power a +first lieutenant has of annoying and punishing his inferiors. + + + + +Chapter XXXIII + +Another set-to between the captain and first lieutenant--Cutting-out +expedition--Mr Chucks mistaken--He dies like a gentleman--Swinburne +begins his account of the battle off St Vincent. + + +We had not been more than a week under the Danish island of St Thomas +when we discovered a brig close in-shore. We made all sail in chase, and +soon came within a mile and a half of the shore, when she anchored under +a battery, which opened its fire upon us. Their elevation was too great, +and several shots passed over us and between our masts. + +"I once met with a very remarkable circumstance," observed Captain +Kearney. "Three guns were fired at a frigate I was on board of from a +battery, all at the same time. The three shots cut away the three +topsail ties, and down came all our topsail yards upon the cap at the +same time. That the Frenchmen might not suppose that they had taken such +good aim, we turned up our hands to reef topsails; and by the time that +the men were off the yards the ties were spliced and the topsails run up +again." + +Mr Phillott could not stand this most enormous fib, and he replied, +"Very odd, indeed, Captain Kearney; but I have known a stranger +circumstance. We had put in the powder to the four guns on the main deck +when we were fighting the Danish gun-boats in a frigate I was in, and, +as the men withdrew the rammer, a shot from the enemy entered the +muzzle, and completed the loading of each gun. We fired their own shot +back upon them, and this occurred three times running." + +"Upon my word," replied Captain Kearney, who had his glass upon the +battery, "I think you must have dreamt that circumstance, Mr Phillott." + +"Not more than you did about the topsail ties, Captain Kearney." + +Captain Kearney at that time had the long glass in his hand, holding it +up over his shoulder. A shot from the battery whizzed over his head, and +took the glass out of his hand, shivering it to pieces. "That's once," +said Captain Kearney, very coolly; "but will you pretend that that could +ever happen three times running? They might take my head off, or my arm, +next time, but not another glass; whereas the topsail ties might be cut +by three different shot. But give me another glass, Mr Simple: I am +certain that this vessel is a privateer. What think you, Mr O'Brien?" + +"I am every bit of your opinion, Captain Kearney," replied O'Brien; "and +I think it would be a very pretty bit of practice to the ship's company +to take her out from under that footy battery." + +"Starboard the helm, Mr Phillott; keep away four points, and then we +will think of it to-night." + +The frigate was now kept away, and ran out of the fire of the battery. +It was then about an hour before sunset, and in the West Indies the sun +does not set as it does in the northern latitudes. There is no twilight: +he descends in glory, surrounded with clouds of gold and rubies in their +gorgeous tints; and once below the horizon, all is dark. As soon as it +was dark, we hauled our wind off shore; and a consultation being held +between the captain, Mr Phillott, and O'Brien, the captain at last +decided that the attempt should be made. Indeed, although cutting-out is +a very serious affair, as you combat under every disadvantage, still the +mischief done to our trade by the fast-sailing privateers was so great +in the West Indies, that almost every sacrifice was warrantable for the +interests of the country. Still, Captain Kearney, although a brave and +prudent officer--one who calculated chances, and who would not risk his +men without he deemed that necessity imperiously demanded that such +should be done--was averse to this attack, from his knowledge of the bay +in which the brig was anchored; and although Mr Phillott and O'Brien +both were of opinion that it should be a night attack, Captain Kearney +decided otherwise. He considered, that although the risk might be +greater, yet the force employed would be more consolidated, and that +those who would hold back in the night dare not do so during the day. +Moreover, that the people on shore in the battery, as well as those in +the privateer, would be on the alert all night, and not expecting an +attack during the day, would be taken off their guard. It was therefore +directed that everything should be in preparation during the night, and +that the boats should shove off before daylight, and row in-shore, +concealing themselves behind some rocks under the cliffs which formed +the cape upon one side of the harbour; and, if not discovered, remain +there till noon, at which time it was probable that the privateer's men +would be on shore, and the vessel might be captured without difficulty. + +It is always a scene of much interest on board a man-of-war when +preparations are made for an expedition of this description; and, as the +reader may not have been witness to them, it may perhaps be interesting +to describe them. The boats of men-of-war have generally two crews; the +common boats' crews, which are selected so as not to take away the most +useful men from the ship; and the service, or fighting boats' crews, +which are selected from the very best men on board. The coxswains of the +boats are the most trustworthy men in the ship, and, on this occasion, +have to see that their boats are properly equipped. The launch, yawl, +first and second cutters, were the boats appointed for the expedition. +They all carried guns mounted upon slides, which ran fore and aft +between the men. After the boats were hoisted out, the guns were lowered +down into them and shipped in the bows of the boats. The arm-chests were +next handed in, which contain the cartridges and ammunition. The shot +were put into the bottom of the boats; and so far they were all ready. +The oars of the boats were fitted to pull with grummets upon iron +thole-pins, that they might make little noise, and might swing fore and +aft without falling overboard when the boats pulled alongside the +privateer. A breaker or two (that is, small casks holding about seven +gallons each) of water was put into each boat, and also the men's +allowance of spirits, in case they should be detained by any unforeseen +circumstances. The men belonging to the boats were fully employed in +looking after their arms; some fitting their flints to their pistols, +others, and the major part of them, sharpening their cutlasses at the +grindstone, or with a file borrowed from the armourer,--all were busy +and all merry. The very idea of going into action is a source of joy to +an English sailor, and more jokes are made, more merriment excited, at +that time than at any other. Then, as it often happens that one or two +of the service boats' crews may be on the sick list, urgent +solicitations are made by others that they may supply their places. The +only parties who appear at all grave are those who are to remain in the +frigate, and not share in the expedition. There is no occasion to order +the boats to be manned, for the men are generally in long before they +are piped away. Indeed, one would think that it was a party of pleasure, +instead of danger and of death, upon which they were about to proceed. + +Captain Kearney selected the officers who were to have the charge of the +boats. He would not trust any of the midshipmen on so dangerous a +service. He said that he had known so many occasions in which their +rashness and foolhardiness had spoilt an expedition; he therefore +appointed Mr Phillott, the first lieutenant, to the launch; O'Brien to +the yawl; the master to the first, and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to the +second cutter. Mr Chucks was much pleased with the idea of having the +command of a boat, and asked me to come with him, to which I consented, +although I had intended, as usual, to have gone with O'Brien. + +About an hour before daylight we ran the frigate to within a mile and a +half of the shore, and the boats shoved off; the frigate then wore +round, and stood out in the offing, that she might at daylight be at +such a distance as not to excite any suspicion that our boats were sent +away, while we in the boats pulled quietly in-shore. We were not a +quarter of an hour before we arrived at the cape forming one side of the +bay, and were well secreted among the cluster of rocks which were +underneath. Our oars were laid in; the boats' painters made fast; and +orders given for the strictest silence. The rocks were very high, and +the boats were not to be seen without any one should come to the edge of +the precipice; and even then they would, in all probability, have been +supposed to have been rocks. The water was as smooth as glass, and when +it was broad daylight, the men hung listlessly over the sides of the +boats, looking at the corals below, and watching the fish as they glided +between. + +"I can't say, Mr Simple," said Mr Chucks to me in an under tone, "that I +think well of this expedition; and I have an idea that some of us will +lose the number of our mess. After a calm comes a storm; and how quiet +is everything now! But I'll take off my great coat, for the sun is hot +already. Coxswain, give me my jacket." + +Mr Chucks had put on his great coat, but not his jacket underneath, +which he had left on one of the guns on the main deck, all ready to +change as soon as the heavy dew had gone off. The coxswain handed him +the jacket, and Mr Chucks threw off his great coat to put it on; but +when it was opened it proved, that by mistake he had taken away the +jacket, surmounted by two small epaulettes, belonging to Captain +Kearney, which the captain's steward, who had taken it out to brush, had +also laid upon the same gun. + +"By all the nobility of England!" cried Mr Chucks, "I have taken away +the captain's jacket by mistake. Here's a pretty mess! if I put on my +great coat I shall be dead with sweating; if I put on no jacket I shall +be roasted brown; but if I put on the captain's jacket I shall be +considered disrespectful." + +The men in the boats tittered; and Mr Phillott, who was in the launch +next to us, turned round to see what was the matter; O'Brien was sitting +in the stern-sheets of the launch with the first lieutenant, and I +leaned over and told them. + +"By the powers! I don't see why the captain's jacket will be at all hurt +by Mr Chucks putting it on," replied O'Brien; "unless, indeed, a bullet +were to go through it, and then it won't be any fault of Mr Chucks." + +"No," replied the first lieutenant; "and if one did, the captain might +keep the jacket, and swear that the bullet went round his body without +wounding him. He'll have a good yarn to spin. So put it on, Mr Chucks; +you'll make a good mark for the enemy." + +"That I will stand the risk of with pleasure," observed the boatswain to +me, "for the sake of being considered a gentleman. So here's on with +it." + +There was a general laugh when Mr Chucks pulled on the captain's jacket, +and sank down in the stern-sheets of the cutter, with great complacency +of countenance. One of the men in the boat that we were in thought +proper, however, to continue his laugh a little longer than Mr Chucks +considered necessary, who, leaning forward, thus addressed him: "I say, +Mr Webber, I beg leave to observe to you, in the most delicate manner in +the world--just to hint to you--that it is not the custom to laugh at +your superior officer. I mean just to insinuate, that you are a d----d +impudent son of a sea cook; and if we both live and do well, I will +prove to you, that if I am to be laughed at in a boat with the captain's +jacket on, that I am not to be laughed at on board the frigate with the +boatswain's rattan in my fist; and so look out, my hearty, for squalls, +when you come on the forecastle; for I'll be d----d if I don't make you +see more stars than God Almighty ever made, and cut more capers than all +the dancing-masters in France. Mark my words, you burgoo-eating, +pea-soup-swilling, trowsers-scrubbing son of a bitch." + +Mr Chucks, having at the end of this oration raised his voice above the +pitch required by the exigency of the service, was called to order by +the first lieutenant, and again sank back into the stern-sheets with all +the importance and authoritative show peculiarly appertaining to a pair +of epaulettes. + +We waited behind the rocks until noonday, without being discovered by +the enemy; so well were we concealed. We had already sent an officer, +who, carefully hiding himself by lying down on the rocks, had several +times reconnoitred the enemy. Boats were passing and repassing +continually from the privateer to the shore; and it appeared that they +went on shore full of men, and returned with only one or two; so that we +were in great hopes that we should find but few men to defend the +vessel. Mr Phillott looked at his watch, held it up to O'Brien, to prove +that he had complied exactly with the orders he had received from the +captain, and then gave the word to get the boats under weigh. The +painters were cast off by the bowmen, the guns were loaded and primed, +the men seized their oars, and in two minutes we were clear of the +rocks, and drawn up in a line within a quarter of a mile from the +harbour's mouth, and not half a mile from the privateer brig. We rowed +as quickly as possible, but we did not cheer until the enemy fired the +first gun; which he did from a quarter unexpected, as we entered the +mouth of the harbour, with our union jack trailing in the water over our +stern, for it was a dead calm. It appeared, that at the low point under +the cliffs, at each side of the little bay, they had raised a water +battery of two guns each. One of these guns, laden with grape shot, was +now fired at the boats, but the elevation was too low, and although the +water was ploughed up to within five yards of the launch, no injury was +received. We were equally fortunate in the discharge of the other three +guns; two of which we passed so quickly, that they were not aimed +sufficiently forward, so that their shot fell astern; and the other, +although the shot fell among us, did no further injury than cutting in +half two of the oars of the first cutter. + +In the meantime, we had observed that the boats had shoved off from the +privateer as soon as they had perceived us, and had returned to her +laden with men; the boats had been despatched a second time, but had not +yet returned. They were now about the same distance from the privateer +as were our boats, and it was quite undecided which of us would be first +on board. O'Brien perceiving this, painted out to Mr Phillott that we +should first attack the boats, and afterwards board on the side to which +they pulled; as, in all probability, there would be an opening left in +the boarding nettings, which were tied up to the yard-arms, and +presented a formidable obstacle to our success. Mr Phillott agreed with +O'Brien: he ordered the bowmen to lay in their oars and keep the guns +pointed ready to fire at the word given, and desiring the other men to +pull their best. Every nerve, every muscle was brought into play by our +anxious and intrepid seamen. When within about twenty yards of the +vessel, and also of the boats, the orders were given to fire--the +carronade of the launch poured out round and grape so well directed, +that one of the French boats sunk immediately; and the musket balls with +which our other smaller guns were loaded, did great execution among +their men. In one minute more, with three cheers from our sailors, we +were all alongside together, English and French boats pell-mell, and a +most determined close conflict took place. The French fought +desperately, and as they were overpowered, they were reinforced by those +from the privateer, who could not look on and behold their companions +requiring their assistance, without coming to their aid. Some jumped +down into our boats from the chains, into the midst of our men; others +darted cold shot at us, either to kill us or to sink our boats; and thus +did one of the most desperate hand-to-hand conflicts take place that +ever was witnessed. But it was soon decided in our favour, for we were +the stronger party and the better armed; and when all opposition was +over, we jumped into the privateer, and found not a man left on board, +only a large dog, who flew at O'Brien's throat as he entered the port. + +"Don't kill him," said O'Brien, as the sailors hastened to his +assistance; "only take away his gripe." + +The sailors disengaged the dog, and O'Brien led him up to a gun, saying, +"By Jasus, my boy, you are my prisoner." + +But although we had possession of the privateer, our difficulties, as it +will prove, were by no means over. We were now exposed not only to the +fire of the two batteries at the harbour-mouth which we had to pass, but +also to that of the battery at the bottom of the bay, which had fired at +the frigate. In the meantime, we were very busy in cutting the cable, +lowering the topsails, and taking the wounded men on board the +privateer, from out of the boats. All this was, however, but the work of +a few minutes. Most of the Frenchmen were killed; our own wounded +amounted to only nine seamen and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was shot +through the body, apparently with little chance of surviving. As Mr +Phillott observed, the captain's epaulettes had made him a mark for the +enemy, and he had fallen in his borrowed plumes. + +As soon as they were all on board, and laid on the deck--for there were, +as near as I can recollect, about fourteen wounded Frenchmen as well as +our own--tow-ropes were got out forwards, the boats were manned, and we +proceeded to tow the brig out of the harbour. + +It was a dead calm, and we made but little way, but our boat's crew, +flushed with victory, cheered, and rallied, and pulled with all their +strength. The enemy perceiving that the privateer was taken, and the +French boats drifting empty up the harbour, now opened their fire upon +us, and with great effect. Before we had towed abreast of the two water +batteries, we had received three-shots between wind and water from the +other batteries, and the sea was pouring fast into the vessel. I had +been attending to poor Mr Chucks, who lay on the starboard side, near +the wheel, the blood flowing from his wound, and tracing its course down +the planks of the deck, to a distance of some feet from where he lay. He +appeared very faint, and I tied my handkerchief round his body, so as to +stop the effusion of blood, and brought him some water, with which I +bathed his face, and poured some into his mouth. He opened his eyes +wide, and looked at me. + +"Ah, Mr Simple," said he, faintly, "is it you? It's all over with me; +but it could not be better--could it?" + +"How do you mean?" inquired I. + +"Why, have I not fallen dressed like an officer and a gentleman?" said +he, referring to the captain's jacket and epaulettes. "I'd sooner die +now with this dress on, than recover to put on the boatswain's uniform. +I feel quite happy." + +He pressed my hand, and then closed his eyes again, from weakness. We +were now nearly abreast of the two batteries on the points, the guns of +which had been trained so as to bear upon our boats that were towing out +the brig. The first shot went through the bottom of the launch, and sank +her; fortunately, all the men were saved; but as she was the boat that +towed next to the brig, great delay occurred in getting the others clear +of her, and taking the brig again in tow. The shot now poured in thick, +and the grape became very annoying. Still our men gave way, cheering at +every shot fired, and we had nearly passed the batteries, with trifling +loss, when we perceived that the brig was so full of water that she +could not swim many minutes longer, and that it would be impossible to +tow her alongside of the frigate. Mr Phillott, under these +circumstances, decided that it would be useless to risk more lives, and +that the wounded should be taken out of the brig, and the boats should +pull away for the ship. He desired me to get the wounded men into the +cutter, which he sent alongside, and then to follow the other boats. I +made all the haste I could, not wishing to be left behind; and as soon +as all our wounded men were in the boats, I went to Mr Chucks, to remove +him. He appeared somewhat revived, but would not allow us to remove him. + +"My dear Mr Simple," said he, "it is of no use; I never can recover it, +and I prefer dying here. I entreat you not to move me. If the enemy take +possession of the brig before she sinks, I shall be buried with military +honours; if they do not, I shall at least die in the dress of a +gentleman. Hasten away as fast as you can, before you lose more men. +Here I stay--that's decided." + +I expostulated with him, but at that time two boats full of men +appeared, pulling out of the harbour to the brig. The enemy had +perceived that our boats had deserted her, and were coming to take +possession. I had therefore no time to urge Mr Chucks to change his +resolution, and not wishing to force a dying man, I shook his hand and +left him. It was with some difficulty I escaped, for the boats had come +up close to the brig; they chased me a little while, but the yawl and +the cutter turning back to my assistance, they gave up the pursuit. On +the whole, this was a very well arranged and well conducted expedition. +The only man lost was Mr Chucks, for the wounds of the others were none +of them mortal. Captain Kearney was quite satisfied with our conduct, +and so was the admiral, when it was reported to him. Captain Kearney did +indeed grumble a little about his jacket, and sent for me to inquire why +I had not taken it off Mr Chucks, and brought it on board. As I did not +choose to tell him the exact truth, I replied, "That I could not disturb +a dying man, and that the jacket was so saturated with blood, that he +never could have worn it again," which was the case. + +"At all events, you might have brought away my epaulettes," replied he; +"but you youngsters think of nothing but gormandizing." + +I had the first watch that night, when Swinburne, the quarter-master, +came up to me, and asked me all the particulars of the affair, for he +was not in the boats. "Well," said he, "that Mr Chucks appeared to be a +very good boatswain in his way, if he could only have kept his rattan a +little quiet. He was a smart fellow, and knew his duty. We had just such +another killed in our ship, in the action off Cape St Vincent." + +"What! were you in that action?" replied I. + +"Yes, I was, and belonged to the _Captain_, Lord Nelson's ship." + +"Well, then, suppose you tell me all about it." + +"Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, I've no objection to spin you a yarn, now and +then," replied Swinburne, "but, as Mr Chucks used to say, allow me to +observe, in the most delicate manner in the world, that I perceive that +the man who has charge of your hammock, and slings you a clean one now +and then, has very often a good glass of grog for his _yarns_, and I do +not see but that mine are as well worth a glass of grog as his." + +"So they are, Swinburne, and better too, and I promise you a good stiff +one to-morrow evening." + +"That will do, sir: now then, I'll tell you all about it, and more about +it too than most can, for I know how the action was brought about." + +I have the log, marked the board, and then sat down abaft on the signal +chest with Swinburne, who commenced his narrative as follows:-- + +"You must know, Mr Simple, that when the English fleet came down the +Mediterranean, after the 'vackyation of Corsica, they did not muster +more than seventeen sail of the line, while the Spanish fleet from +Ferrol and Carthagena had joined company at Cadiz, and 'mounted to near +thirty. Sir John Jervis had the command of our fleet at the time, but as +the Dons did not seem at all inclined to come out and have a brush with +us, almost two to one, Sir John left Sir Hyde Parker, with six sail of +the line, to watch the Spanish beggars, while he went in to Lisbon with +the remainder of the fleet, to water and refit. Now, you see, Mr Simple, +Portugal was at that time what they calls neutral, that is to say, she +didn't meddle at all in the affair, being friends with both parties, and +just as willing to supply fresh beef and water to the Spaniards as to +the English, if so be the Spaniards had come out to ax for it, which +they dar'n't. The Portuguese and the English have always been the best +of friends, because we can't get no port wine anywhere else, and they +can't get nobody else to buy it of them; so the Portuguese gave up their +arsenal at Lisbon, for the use of the English, and there we kept all our +stores, under the charge of that old dare-devil, Sir Isaac Coffin. Now +it so happened, that one of the clerks in old Sir Isaac's _office_, a +Portuguese chap, had been some time before that in the office of the +Spanish ambassador; he was a very smart sort of a chap, and sarved as +interpreter, and the old commissioner put great faith in him." + +"But how did you learn all this, Swinburne?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple. I steered the yawl as coxswain, and when +admirals and captains talk in the stern-sheets, they very often forget +that the coxswain is close behind them. I only learnt half of it that +way; the rest I put together when I compared logs with the admiral's +steward, who, of course, heard a great deal now and then. The first I +heard of it was when old Sir John called out to Sir Isaac, after the +second bottle, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who killed the Spanish messenger?' +'Not I, by God!' replied Sir Isaac; 'I only left him for dead;' and then +they both laughed, and so did Nelson, who was sitting with them. Well, +Mr Simple, it was reported to Sir Isaac that his clerk was often seen +taking memorandums of the different orders given to the fleet, +particularly those as to there being no wasteful expenditure of his +Majesty's stores. Upon which, Sir Isaac goes to the admiral, and +requests that the man might be discharged. Now, old Sir John was a sly +old fox, and he answered, 'Not so, commissioner; perhaps we may catch +them in their own trap.' So the admiral sits down, and calls for pen and +ink, and he flourishes out a long letter to the commissioner, stating +that all the stores of the fleet were expended, representing as how it +would be impossible to go to sea without a supply, and wishing to know +when the commissioner expected more transports from England. He also +said that if the Spanish fleet were now to come out from Cadiz, it would +be impossible for him to protect Sir H. Parker with his six sail of the +line, who was watching the Spanish fleet, as he could not quit the port +in his present condition. To this letter the commissioner answered that, +from the last accounts, he thought that in the course of six weeks or +two months they might receive supplies from England, but that sooner +than that was impossible. These letters were put in the way of the +d----d Portuguese spy-clerk, who copied them, and was seen that evening +to go into the house of the Spanish ambassador. Sir John then sent a +message to Ferro--that's a small town on the Portuguese coast to the +southward--with a despatch to Sir Hyde Parker, desiring him to run away +to Cape St Vincent, and decoy the Spanish fleet there, in case they +should come out after him. Well, Mr Simple, so far d'ye see the train +was well laid. The next thing to do was to watch the Spanish +ambassador's house, and see if he sent away any despatches. Two days +after the letters had been taken to him by this rascal of a clerk, the +Spanish ambassador sent away two messengers--one for Cadiz and the other +for Madrid, which is the town where the King of Spain lives. The one to +Cadiz was permitted to go, but the one to Madrid was stopped by the +directions of the admiral, and this job was confided to the +commissioner, Sir Isaac, who settled it somehow or another; and this was +the reason why the admiral called out to him, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who +killed the messenger?' They brought back his despatches, by which they +found out that advice had been sent to the Spanish admiral--I forget his +name, something like _Magazine_--informing him of the supposed crippled +state of our squadron. Sir John, taking it for granted that the +Spaniards would not lose an opportunity of taking six sail of the line-- +more English ships than they have ever taken in their lives--waited a +few days to give them time, and then sailed from Lisbon for Cape St +Vincent, where he joined Sir Hyde Parker, and fell in with the Spaniards +sure enough, and a pretty drubbing we gave them. Now, it's not everybody +that could tell you all that, Mr Simple." + +"Well, but now for the action, Swinburne." + +"Lord bless you, Mr Simple! it's now past seven bells, and I can't fight +the battle of St Vincent in half an hour; besides which, it's well worth +another glass of grog to hear all about that battle." + +"Well, you shall have one, Swinburne; only don't forget to tell it to +me." + +Swinburne and I then separated, and in less than an hour afterwards I +was dreaming of despatches--Sir John Jervis--Sir Isaac Coffin--and +Spanish messengers. + + + + +Chapter XXXIV + +O'Brien's good advice--Captain Kearney again deals in the marvellous. + + +I do not remember any circumstance in my life which, at that time, lay +so heavily on my mind as the loss of poor Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who, +of course, I took it for granted I should never see again. I believe +that the chief cause was that at the time I entered the service, and +every one considered me to be the fool of the family, Mr Chucks and +O'Brien were the only two who thought of and treated me differently; and +it was their conduct which induced me to apply myself and encouraged me +to exertion. I believe that many a boy, who, if properly patronized, +would turn out well, is, by the injudicious system of browbeating and +ridicule, forced into the wrong path, and, in his despair, throws away +all self-confidence, and allows himself to be carried away by the stream +to perdition. O'Brien was not very partial to reading himself. He played +the German flute remarkably well, and had a very good voice. His chief +amusement was practising, or rather playing, which is a very different +thing; but although he did not study himself, he always made me come +into his cabin for an hour or two every day, and, after I had read, +repeat to him the contents of the book. By this method he not only +instructed me, but gained a great deal of information himself; for he +made so many remarks upon what I had read, that it was impressed upon +both our memories. + +"Well, Peter," he would say, as he came into the cabin, "what have you +to tell me this morning? Sure it's you that's the schoolmaster, and not +me--for I learn from you every day." + +"I have not read much, O'Brien, to-day, for I have been thinking of poor +Mr Chucks." + +"Very right for you so to do, Peter. Never forget your friends in a +hurry. You'll not find too many of them as you trot along the highway of +life." + +"I wonder whether he is dead?" + +"Why, that's a question I cannot answer. A bullet through the chest +don't lengthen a man's days, that's certain; but this I know, that he'll +not die if he can help it, now that he's got the captain's jacket on." + +"Yes; he always aspired to be a gentleman, which was absurd enough in a +boatswain." + +"Not at all absurd, Peter, but very absurd of you to talk without +thinking. When did any one of his shipmates ever know Mr Chucks to do an +unhandsome or mean action? Never; and why? Because he aspired to be a +gentleman, and that feeling kept him above it. Vanity's a confounded +donkey, very apt to put his head between his legs, and chuck us over; +but pride's a fine horse, who will carry us over the ground, and enable +us to distance our fellow-travellers. Mr Chucks has pride, and that's +always commendable, even in a boatswain. How often have you read of +people rising from nothing, and becoming great men? This was from +talent, sure enough; but it was talent with pride to force it onward, +not talent with vanity to check it." + +"You are very right, O'Brien; I spoke foolishly." + +"Never mind, Peter, nobody heard you but me; so it's of no consequence. +Don't you dine in the cabin to-day?" + +"Yes." + +"So do I. The captain is in a most marvellous humour this morning. He +told me one or two yarns that quite staggered my politeness and my +respect for him on the quarter-deck. What a pity it is that a man should +have gained such a bad habit!" + +"He's quite incurable, I'm afraid," replied I; "but, certainly, his fibs +do no harm; they are what they call white lies. I do not think he would +really tell a lie--that is, a lie which would be considered to disgrace +a gentleman." + +"Peter, _all_ lies disgrace a gentleman, white or black, although I +grant there is a difference. To say the least of it, it is a dangerous +habit; for white lies are but the gentlemen ushers to black ones. I know +but of one point on which a lie is excusable, and that is, when you wish +to deceive the enemy. Then your duty to your country warrants your lying +till you're black in the face; and, for the very reason that it goes +against your grain, it becomes, as it were, a sort of virtue." + +"What was the difference between the marine officer and Mr Phillott that +occurred this morning?" + +"Nothing at all in itself. The marine officer is a bit of a gaby, and +takes offence where none is meant. Mr Phillott has a foul tongue; but he +has a good heart." + +"What a pity it is!" + +"It is a pity, for he's a smart officer; but the fact is, Peter, that +junior officers are too apt to copy their superiors, and that makes it +very important that a young gentleman should sail with a captain who is +a gentleman. Now, Phillott served the best of his time with Captain +Ballover, who is notorious in the service for foul and abusive language. +What is the consequence? That Phillott and many others who have served +under him have learnt his bad habit." + +"I should think, O'Brien, that the very circumstance of having had your +feelings so often wounded by such language when you were a junior +officer, would make you doubly careful not to make use of it to others, +when you had advanced in the service." + +"Peter, that's just the _first_ feeling, which wears away after a time; +but at last, your own sense of indignation becomes blunted, and becoming +indifferent to it, you forget also that you wound the feelings of +others, and carry the habit with you, to the great injury and disgrace +of the service. But it's time to dress for dinner, so you'd better make +yourself scarce, Peter, while I tidivate myself off a little, according +to the rules and regulations of His Majesty's service, when you are +asked to dine with the skipper." + +We met at the captain's table, where we found, as usual, a great display +of plate, but very little else, except the ship's allowance. We +certainly had now been cruising some time, and there was some excuse for +it; but still, few captains would have been so unprovided. "I'm afraid, +gentlemen, you will not have a very grand dinner," observed the captain, +as the steward removed the plated covers of the dishes; "but when on +service we must rough it out how we can. Mr O'Brien, pea-soup? I +recollect faring harder than this through one cruise in a flush vessel. +We were thirteen weeks up to our knees in water, and living the whole +time upon raw pork--not being able to light a fire during the cruise." + +"Pray, Captain Kearney, may I ask where this happened?" + +"To be sure. It was off Bermudas: we cruised for seven weeks before we +could find the Islands, and began verily to think that the Bermudas were +themselves on a cruise." + +"I presume, sir, you were not so sorry to have a fire to cook your +provisions when you came to an anchor?" said O'Brien. + +"I beg your pardon," replied Captain Kearney; "we had become so +accustomed to raw provisions and wet feet, that we could not eat our +meals cooked, or help dipping our legs over the side, for a long while +afterwards. I saw one of the boat-keepers astern catch a large +barracouta and eat it alive--indeed, if I had not given the strictest +orders, and flogged half-a-dozen of them, I doubt whether they would not +have eaten their victuals raw to this day. The force of habit is +tremendous." + +"It is, indeed," observed Mr Phillott, drily, and winking to us, +referring to the captain's incredible stories. + +"It is, indeed," repeated O'Brien; "we see the ditch in our neighbour's +eye, and cannot observe the log of wood in our own;" and O'Brien winked +at me, referring to Phillott's habit of bad language. + +"I once knew a married man," observed the captain, "who had been always +accustomed to go to sleep with his hand upon his wife's head, and would +not allow her to wear a nightcap in consequence. Well, she caught cold +and died, and he never could sleep at night until he took a +clothes-brush to bed with him, and laid his hand upon that, which +answered the purpose--such was the force of habit." + +"I once saw a dead body galvanized," observed Mr Phillott: "it was the +body of a man who had taken a great deal of snuff during his lifetime, +and as soon as the battery was applied to his spine, the body very +gently raised its arm, and put its fingers to its nose, as if it was +taking a pinch." + +"You saw that yourself, Mr Phillott?" observed the captain, looking at +the first lieutenant earnestly in the face. + +"Yes, sir," replied Mr Phillott, coolly. + +"Have you told that story often?" + +"Very often, sir." + +"Because I know that some people, by constantly telling a story, at last +believe it to be true; not that I refer to you, Mr Phillott; but still, +I should recommend you not to tell that story where you are not well +known, or people may doubt your credibility." + +"I make it a rule to believe everything myself," observed Mr Phillott, +"out of politeness, and I expect the same courtesy from others." + +"Then, upon my soul! when you tell that story, you trespass very much +upon our good manners. Talking of courtesy, you must meet a friend of +mine, who has been a courtier all his life; he cannot help bowing, I +have seen him bow to his horse and thank him after he had dismounted-- +beg pardon of a puppy for treading on his tail; and one day, when he +fell over a scraper, he took his hat off, and made it a thousand +apologies for his inattention." + +"Force of habit again," said O'Brien. + +"Exactly so. Mr Simple, will you take a slice of this pork? and perhaps +you'll do me the honour to take a glass of wine? Lord Privilege would +not much admire our dinner to-day, would he, Mr Simple?" + +"As a variety he might, sir, but not for a continuance." + +"Very truly said. Variety is charming. The negroes here get so tired of +salt fish and occra broth, that they eat dirt by way of a relish. Mr +O'Brien, how remarkably well you played that sonata of Pleydel's this +morning." + +"I am happy that I did not annoy you, Captain Kearney, at all events," +replied O'Brien. + +"On the contrary, I am very partial to good music. My mother was a great +performer. I recollect once, she was performing a piece on the piano in +which she had to imitate a _thunderstorm_. So admirably did she hit it +off, that when we went to tea all the cream was _turned sour_, as well +as three casks of _beer_ in the cellar." + +At this assertion Mr Phillott could contain himself no longer; he burst +out into a loud laugh, and having a glass of wine to his lips, spattered +it all over the table, and over me, who unfortunately was opposite to +him. + +"I really beg pardon, Captain Kearney, but the idea of such an expensive +talent was too amusing. Will you permit me to ask you a question? As +there could not have been thunder without lightning, were any people +killed at the same time by the electric fluid of the piano?" + +"No sir," replied Captain Kearney, very angrily; "but her performance +_electrified_ us, which was something like it. Perhaps, Mr Phillott, as +you lost your last glass of wine, you will allow me to take another with +you?" + +"With great pleasure," replied the first lieutenant, who perceived that +he had gone far enough. + +"Well, gentlemen," said the captain, "we shall soon be in the land of +plenty. I shall cruise a fortnight more, and then join the admiral at +Jamaica. We must make out our despatch relative to the cutting out of +the _Sylvia_ (that was the name of the privateer brig), and I am happy +to say that I shall feel it my duty to make honourable mention of all +the party present. Steward, coffee." + +The first lieutenant, O'Brien, and I, bowed to this flattering avowal on +the part of the captain; as for me, I felt delighted. The idea of my +name being mentioned in the "Gazette," and the pleasure that it would +give to my father and mother, mantled the blood in my cheeks till I was +as red as a turkey-cock. + +"_Cousin_ Simple," said the captain, good-naturedly, "you have no +occasion to blush; your conduct deserves it; and you are indebted to Mr +Phillott for having made me acquainted with your gallantry." + +Coffee was soon over, and I was glad to leave the cabin, and be alone, +that I might compose my perturbed mind. I felt too happy. I did not, +however, say a word to my messmates, as it might have created feelings +of envy or ill-will. O'Brien gave me a caution not to do so, when I met +him afterwards, so that I was very glad that I had been so circumspect. + + + + +Chapter XXXV + +Swinburne continues his narrative of the battle off Cape St Vincent. + + +The second night after this, we had the middle watch, and I claimed +Swinburne's promise that he would spin his yarn, relative to the battle +of St Vincent. "Well, Mr Simple, so I will; but I require a little +priming, or I shall never go off." + +"Will you have your glass of grog before or after?" + +"Before, by all means, if you please, sir. Run down and get it, and I'll +heave the log for you in the meantime, when we shall have a good hour +without interruption, for the sea-breeze will be steady, and we are +under easy sail." I brought up a stiff glass of grog, which Swinburne +tossed off, and as he finished it, sighed deeply as if in sorrow that +there was no more. Having stowed away the tumbler in one of the capstern +holes for the present, we sat down upon a coil of ropes under the +weather bulwarks, and Swinburne, replacing his quid of tobacco, +commenced as follows-- + +"Well, Mr Simple, as I told you before, old Jervis started with all his +fleet for Cape St Vincent. We lost one of our fleet--and a three-decker +too--the _St George_; she took the ground, and was obliged to go back to +Lisbon; but we soon afterwards were joined by five sail of the line, +sent out from England, so that we mustered fifteen sail in all. We had +like to lose another of our mess, for d'ye see, the old _Culloden_ and +_Colossus_ fell foul of each other, and the _Culloden_ had the worst on +it; but Troubridge, who commanded her, was not a man to shy his work, +and ax to go in to refit, when there was a chance of meeting the enemy-- +so he patched her up somehow or another, and reported himself ready for +action the very next day. Ready for action he always was, that's sure +enough, but whether his ship was in a fit state to go into action is +quite another thing. But as the sailors used to say in joking, he was a +_true bridge_, and you might trust to him; which meant as much as to +say, that he knew how to take his ship into action, and how to fight her +when he was fairly in it. I think it was the next day that Cockburn +joined us in the _Minerve_, and he brought Nelson along with him with +the intelligence that the Dons had chased him, and that the whole +Spanish fleet was out in pursuit of us. Well, Mr Simple, you may guess +we were not a little happy in the _Captain_, when Nelson joined us, as +we knew that if he fell in with the Spaniards our ship would cut a +figure--and so she did sure enough. That was on the morning of the 13th, +and old Jervis made the signal to prepare for action, and keep close +order, which means, to have your flying jib-boom in at the starn windows +of the ship ahead of you; and we did keep close order, for a man might +have walked right round from one ship to the other, either lee or +weather line of the fleet. I sha'n't forget that night, Mr Simple, as +long as I live and breathe. Every now and then we heard the signal guns +of the Spanish fleet booming at a distance to windward of us, and you +may guess how our hearts leaped at the sound, and how we watched with +all our ears for the next gun that was fired, trying to make out their +bearings and distance, as we assembled in little knots upon the booms +and weather-gangway. It was my middle watch, and I was signalman at the +time, so of course I had no time to take a caulk if I was inclined. When +my watch was over I could not go down to my hammock, so I kept the +morning watch too, as did most of the men on board: as for Nelson, he +walked the deck the whole night, quite in a fever. At daylight it was +thick and hazy weather, and we could not make them out; but, about five +bells, the old _Culloden_, who, if she had broke her nose, had not lost +the use of her eyes, made the signal for a part of the Spanish fleet in +sight. Old Jervis repeated the signal to prepare for action, but he +might have saved the wear and tear of the bunting, for we were all +ready, bulk-heads down, screens up, guns shotted, tackles rove, yards +slung, powder filled, shot on deck, and fire out--and what's more, Mr +Simple, I'll be d----d if we weren't all willing too. About six bells +in the forenoon, the fog and haze all cleared away at once, just like +the raising of the foresail that they lower down at the Portsmouth +theatre, and discovered the whole of the Spanish fleet. I counted them +all. 'How many, Swinburne?' cries Nelson. 'Twenty-six sail, sir,' +answered I. Nelson walked the quarter-deck backwards and forwards, +rubbing his hands, and laughing to himself, and then he called for his +glass, and went to the gangway with Captain Miller. 'Swinburne, keep a +good look upon the admiral,' says he. 'Ay, ay, sir,' says I. Now you +see, Mr Simple, twenty-six sail against fifteen were great odds upon +paper; but we didn't think so, because we know'd the difference between +the two fleets. There was our fifteen sail of the line, all in apple-pie +order, packed up as close as dominoes, and every man on board of them +longing to come to the scratch; while there was their twenty-six, all +_somehow nohow_, two lines here and _no lines_ there, with a great gap +of water in the middle of them. For this gap between their ships we all +steered, with all the sail we could carry because, d'ye see, Mr Simple, +by getting them on both sides of us, we had the advantage of fighting +both broadsides, which is just as easy as fighting one, and makes +shorter work of it. Just as it struck seven bells, Troubridge opened the +ball _setting_ to half a dozen of the Spaniards, and making them _reel_ +'Tom Collins' whether or no. Bang--bang--bang, bang! Oh, Mr Simple, it's +a beautiful sight to see the first guns fired that are to bring on a +general action. He's the luckiest dog, that Troubridge,' said Nelson, +stamping with impatience. Our ships were soon hard at it, hammer and +tongs (my eyes, how they did pelt it in!), and old Sir John, in the +_Victory_, smashed the cabin windows of the Spanish admiral, with such a +hell of a raking broadside, that the fellow bore up as if the devil +kicked him. Lord a mercy, you might have drove a Portsmouth waggon into +his starn--the broadside of the _Victory_ had made room enough. However, +they were soon all smothered up in smoke, and we could not make out how +things were going on--but we made a pretty good guess. Well, Mr Simple, +as they say at the play, that was act the first, scene the first; and +now we had to make our appearance, and I'll leave you to judge, after +I've told my tale, whether the old _Captain_ wasn't principal performer, +and _top sawyer_ over them all. But stop a moment, I'll just look at the +binnacle, for that young topman's nodding at the wheel.--I say, Mr +Smith, are you shutting your eyes to keep them warm, and letting the +ship run half a point out of her course? Take care I don't send for +another helmsman, that's all, and give the reason why. You'll make a wry +face upon six-water grog to-morrow, at seven bells. D----n your eyes, +keep them open--can't you?" + +Swinburne, after this genteel admonition to the man at the wheel, +reseated himself and continued his narrative. + +"All this while, Mr Simple, we in the _Captain_ had not fired a gun; but +were ranging up as fast as we could to where the enemy lay in a heap. +There were plenty to pick and choose from; and Nelson looked out sharp +for a big one, as little boys do when they have to choose an apple; and, +by the piper that played before Moses! it was a big one that he ordered +the master to put him alongside of. She was a four-decker, called the +_Santissima Trinidad_. We had to pass some whoppers, which would have +satisfied any reasonable man; for there was the _San Josef_, and +_Salvador del Mondo_ and _San Nicolas_: but nothing would suit Nelson +but this four-decked ship; so we crossed the hawse of about six of them, +and as soon as we were abreast of her, and at the word 'Fire!' every gun +went off at once, slap into her, and the old _Captain_ reeled at the +discharge, as if she was drunk. I wish you'd only seen how we pitched it +into this _Holy Trinity_; she was _holy_ enough before we had done with +her, riddled like a sieve, several of her ports knocked into one, and +every scupper of her running blood and water. Not but what she stood to +it as bold as brass, and gave us nearly gun for gun, and made a very +pretty general average in our ship's company. Many of the old captains +went to kingdom-come in that business, and many more were obliged to +bear up for Greenwich Hospital. + +"'Fire away, my lads--steady aim!' cries Nelson. 'Jump down there, Mr +Thomas; pass the word to reduce the cartridges, the shot go clean +through her. Double shot the guns there, fore and aft.' + +"So we were at it for about half an hour, when our guns became so hot +from quick firing, that they bounced up to the beams overhead, tearing +away their ringbolts, and snapping their breechings like rope-yarns. By +this time we were almost as much unrigged as if we had been two days +paying off in Portsmouth harbour. The four-decker forged ahead, and +Troubridge, in the jolly old _Culloden_, came between us and two other +Spanish ships, who were playing into us. She was as fresh as a daisy, +and gave them a dose which quite astonished them. They shook their ears, +and fell astern, when the _Blenheim_ laid hold of them, and mauled them +so that they went astern again. But it was out of the frying-pan into, +the fire: for the _Orion, Prince George_, and one or two others, were +coming up, and knocked the very guts out of them. I'll be d----d if +they forget the 14th of April, and sarve them right, too. Wasn't a +four-decker enough for any two-decker, without any more coming on us? +and couldn't the beggars have matched themselves like gentlemen? Well, +Mr Simple, this gave us a minute or two to fetch, our breath, let the +guns cool, and repair damages, and swab the blood from the decks; but we +lost our four-decker, for we could not get near her again." + +"What odd names the Spaniards give to their ships, Swinburne?" + +"Why yes, they do; it would almost appear wicked to belabour the _Holy +Trinity_ as we did. But why they should call a four-decked ship the +_Holy Trinity_, seeing as how there's only three of them, Father, Son, +and Holy Ghost, I can't tell. Bill Saunders said that the fourth deck +was for the Pope, who was as great a personage as the others; but I +can't understand how that can be. Well, Mr Simple, as I was head +signalman, I was perched on the poop, and didn't serve at a gun. I had +to report all I could see, which was not much, the smoke was so thick; +but now and then I could get a peep, as it were through the holes in the +blanket. Of course I was obliged to keep my eye as much as possible upon +the admiral, not to make out his signals, for Commodore Nelson wouldn't +thank me for that; I knew he hated a signal when in action, so I never +took no notice of the bunting, but just watched to see what he was +about. So while we are repairing damages, I'll just tell you what I saw +of the rest of the fleet. As soon as old Jervis had done for the Spanish +admiral, he hauled his wind on the larboard tack, and followed by four +or five other ships, weathered the Spanish line, and joined Collingwood +in the _Excellent_. Then they all dashed through the line; the +_Excellent_ was the leading ship, and she first took the shine out of +the _Salvador del Mondo_, and then left her to be picked up by the other +ships, while she attacked a two-decker, who hauled down her colours--I +forget her name just now. As soon as the _Victory_ ran alongside of the +_Salvador del Mondo_, down went her colours, and _excellent_ reasons had +she for striking her flag. And now, Mr Simple. The old _Captain_ comes +into play again. Having parted company with the four-decker, we had +recommenced action with the _San Nicolas_, a Spanish eighty, and while +we were hard at it, old Collingwood comes up in the _Excellent_. The +_San Nicolas_, knowing that the _Excellent's_ broadside would send her +to old Nick, put her helm up to avoid being raked: in so doing, she fell +foul of the _San Josef_, a Spanish three-decker, and we being all cut to +pieces and unmanageable--all of us indeed reeling about like drunken +men--Nelson ordered his helm a-starboard, and in a jiffy there we were, +all three hugging each other, running in one another's guns, smashing +our chain-plates, and poking our yard-arms through each other's canvas. + +"'All hands to board!' roared Nelson, leaping on the hammocks and waving +his sword. + +"'Hurrah! hurrah!' echoed through the decks, and up flew the men, like +as many angry bees out of a bee-hive. In a moment pikes, tomahawks, +cutlasses, and pistols were seized (for it was quite unexpected, Mr +Simple), and our men poured into the eighty-gun ship, and in two minutes +the decks were cleared and all the Dons pitched below. I joined the +boarders and was on the main deck when Captain Miller came down, and +cried out 'On deck again immediately.' Up we went, and what do you think +it was for, Mr Simple? Why to board a second time; for Nelson having +taken the two-decker, swore that he'd have the three-decker as well. So +away we went again, clambering up her lofty sides how we could, and +dropping down on her decks like hailstones. We all made for the +quarter-deck, beat down every Spanish beggar that showed fight, and in +five minutes more we had hauled down the colours of two of the finest +ships in the Spanish navy. If that wasn't taking the shine out of the +Dons, I should like to know what is. And didn't the old captains cheer +and shake hands, as Commodore Nelson stood on the deck of the _San +Josef_, and received the swords of the Spanish officers! There was +enough of them to go right round the capstern, and plenty to spare. Now, +Mr Simple, what do you think of that for a spree?" + +"Why, Swinburne, I can only say that I wish I had been there." + +"So did every man in the fleet, Mr Simple, I can tell you." + +"But what became of the _Santissima Trinidad_? + +"Upon my word, she behaved one _deck_ better than all the others. She +held out against four of our ships for a long while, and then hauled +down her colours, and no disgrace to her, considering what a precious +hammering she had taken first. But the lee division of the Spanish +weather fleet, if I may so call it, consisting of eleven sail of the +line, came up to her assistance, and surrounded her, so that they got +her off. Our ships were too much cut up to commence a new action, and +the admiral made the signal to secure the prizes. The Spanish fleet then +did what they should have done before--got into line; and we lost no +time in doing the same. But we both had had fighting enough." + +"But do you think, Swinburne, that the Spaniards fought well?" + +"They'd have fought better, if they'd only have known how. There's no +want of courage in the Dons, Mr Simple, but they did not support each +other. Only observe how Troubridge supported us. By God, Mr Simple, he +was the _real fellow_, and Nelson knew it well. He was Nelson's +right-hand man; but you know, there wasn't room for _two_ Nelsons. Their +ships engaged held out well, it must be acknowledged, but why weren't +they all in their proper berths? Had they kept close order of sailing, +and had all fought as well as those who were captured, it would not have +been a very easy matter for fifteen ships to gain a victory over +twenty-six. That's long odds, even when backed with British seamen." + +"Well, how did you separate?" + +"Why, the next morning the Spaniards had the weathergage, so they had +the option whether to fight or not. At one time they had half a mind, +for they bore down to us; upon which we hauled our wind to show them we +were all ready to meet them, and then they thought better of it, and +rounded-to again. So as they wouldn't fight, and we didn't wish it, we +parted company in the night; and two days afterwards we anchored, with +our four prizes, in Lagos Bay. So now you have the whole of it, Mr +Simple, and I've talked till I'm quite hoarse. You haven't by chance +another drop of the stuff left to clear my throat? It would be quite a +charity." + +"I think I have, Swinburne; and as you deserve it, I will go and fetch +it." + + + + +Chapter XXXVI + +A letter from Father M'Grath, who diplomatizes--When priest meets +priest, then comes the tug of war--Father O'Toole not to be made a tool +of. + + +We continued our cruise for a fortnight, and then made sail for Jamaica, +where we found the admiral at anchor at Port Royal, but our signal was +made to keep under weigh, and Captain Kearney, having paid his respects +to the admiral, received orders to carry despatches to Halifax. Water +and provisions were sent on board by the boats of the admiral's ships, +and, to our great disappointment, as the evening closed in, we were +again standing out to sea, instead of, as we had anticipated, enjoying +ourselves on shore; but the fact was, that orders had arrived from +England to send a frigate immediately up to the admiral at Halifax, to +be at his disposal. + +I had, however, the satisfaction to know that Captain Kearney had been +true to his word in making mention of my name in the despatch, for the +clerk showed me a copy of it. Nothing occurred worth mentioning during +our passage, except that Captain Kearney was very unwell nearly the +whole of the time, and seldom quitted his cabin. It was in October that +we anchored in Halifax harbour, and the Admiralty, expecting our arrival +there, had forwarded our letters. There were none for me, but there was +one for O'Brien, from Father M'Grath, the contents of which were as +follows:-- + +"MY DEAR SON,--And a good son you are, and that's the truth on it, or +devil a bit should you be a son of mine. You've made your family quite +contented and peaceable, and they never fight for the _praties_ now-- +good reason why they shouldn't, seeing that there's a plenty for all of +them, and the pig craturs into the bargain. Your father and your mother, +and your brother, and your three sisters, send their duty to you, and +their blessings too--and you may add my blessing, Terence, which is +worth them all; for won't I get you out of purgatory in the twinkling of +a bed-post? Make yourself quite aisy on that score, and lave it all to +me; only just say a _pater_ now and then, that when St Peter lets you +in, he mayn't throw it in your teeth, that you've saved your soul by +contract, which is the only way by which emperors and kings ever get to +heaven. Your letter from Plymouth came safe to hand: Barney, the +post-boy, having dropped it under foot, close to our door, the big pig +took it into his mouth and ran away with it; but I caught sight of him, +and _speaking_ to him, he let it go, knowing (the 'cute cratur!) that I +could read it better than him. As soon as I had digested the contents, +which it was lucky the pig did not instead of me, I just took my meal +and my big stick, and then set off for Ballycleuch. + +"Now you know, Terence, if you haven't forgot--and if you have, I'll +just remind you--that there's a flaunty sort of young woman at the +poteen shop there, who calls herself Mrs O'Rourke, wife to a Corporal +O'Rourke, who was kilt or died one day, I don't know which, but that's +not of much consequence. The devil a bit do I think the priest ever gave +the marriage-blessing to that same; although she swears that she was +married on the rock of Gibraltar--it may be a strong rock fore I know, +but it's not the rock of salvation like the seven sacraments, of which +marriage is one. _Benedicite_! Mrs O'Rourke is a little too apt to fleer +and jeer at the priests; and if it were not that she softens down her +pertinent remarks with a glass or two of the real poteen, which proves +some respect for the church, I'd excommunicate her body and soul, and +every body and every soul that put their lips to the cratur at her door. +But she must leave that off, as I tell her, when she gets old and ugly, +for then all the whisky in the world sha'n't save her. But she's a fine +woman now, and it goes agin my conscience to help the devil to a fine +woman. Now this Mrs O'Rourke knows everybody and everything that's going +on in the country about; and she has a tongue which has never had a +holiday since it was let loose. + +"'Good morning to ye, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I. + +"'An' the top of the morning to you, Father M'Grath,' says she, with a +smile; 'what brings you here? Is it a journey that you're taking to buy +the true wood of the cross? or is it a purty girl that you wish to +confess, Father M'Grath? or is it only that you're come for a drop of +poteen, and a little bit of chat with Mrs O'Rourke?' + +"'Sure it's I who'd be glad to find the same true wood of the cross, Mrs +O'Rourke, but it's not grown, I suspect, at your town of Ballycleuch; +and it's no objection I'd have to confess a purty girl like yourself, +Mrs O'Rourke, who'll only tell me half her sins, and give me no trouble; +but it's the truth, that I'm here for nothing else but to have a bit of +chat with yourself, dainty dear, and taste your poteen, just by way of +keeping my mouth nate and clane.' + +"So Mrs O'Rourke poured out the real stuff, which I drank to her health; +and then says I, putting down the bit of a glass, 'So you've a stranger +come, I find, in your parts, Mrs O'Rourke.' + +"'I've heard the same,' replied she. So you observe, Terence, I came to +the fact all at once by a guess. + +"'I am tould,' says I, 'that he's a Scotchman, and spakes what nobody +can understand.' + +"'Devil a bit,' says she, 'he's an Englishman, and speaks plain enough.' + +"'But what can a man mane, to come here and sit down all alone?' says I. + +"'All alone, Father M'Grath!' replied she; 'is a man all alone when he's +got his wife and childer, and more coming, with the blessing of God?' + +"'But those boys are not his own childer, I believe,' says I. + +"'There again you're all in a mistake, Father M'Grath,' rejoins she. +'The childer are all his own, and all girls to boot. It appears that +it's just as well that you come down, now and then, for information, to +our town of Ballycleuch.' + +"'Very true, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I; 'and who is it that knows everything +so well as yourself?' You observe, Terence, that I just said everything +contrary and _arce versa_, as they call it, to the contents of your +letter; for always recollect, my son, that if you would worm a secret +out of a woman, you'll do more by contradiction than you ever will by +coaxing--so I went on: 'Anyhow, I think it's a burning shame, Mrs +O'Rourke, for a gentleman to bring over with him here from England a +parcel of lazy English servants, when there's so many nice boys and +girls here to attind upon them.' + +"'Now there you're all wrong again, Father M'Grath,' says she. 'Devil a +soul has he brought from the other country, but has hired them all here. +Arn't there Ella Flanagan for one maid, and Terence Driscol for a +footman? and it's well that he looks in his new uniform, when he comes +down for the newspapers; and arn't Moggy Cala there to cook the dinner, +and pretty Mary Sullivan for a nurse for the babby as soon as it comes +into the world?' + +"'Is it Mary Sullivan you mane?' says I; 'she that was married about +three months back, and is so quick in child-getting, that she's all but +ready to fall to pieces in this same time?' + +"'It's exactly she,' says Mrs O'Rourke; 'and do you know the reason?' + +"'Devil a bit,' says I; 'how should I?' + +"'Then it's just that she may send her own child away, and give her milk +to the English babby that's coming; because the lady is too much of a +lady to have a child hanging to her breast.' + +"'But suppose Mary Sullivan's child ar'n't born till afterwards, how +then?" says I. 'Speak, Mrs O'Rourke, for you're a sensible woman.' + +"'How then?' says she. 'Och! that's all arranged; for Mary says that +she'll be in bed a week before the lady, so that's all right, you'll +perceive, Father M'Grath.' + +"'But don't you perceive, sensible woman as you are, that a young woman, +who is so much out of her reckoning as to have a child three months +after her marriage, may make a little mistake in her lying-in +arithmetic, Mrs O'Rourke.' + +"'Never fear, Father M'Grath, Mary Sullivan will keep her word; and +sooner than disappoint the lady, and lose her place, she'll just tumble +down-stairs, and won't that put her to bed fast enough?' + +"'Well, that's what I call a faithful good servant that earns her +wages,' says I; 'so now I'll just take another glass, Mrs O'Rourke, and +thank you too. Sure you're the woman that knows everything, and a mighty +pretty woman into the bargain.' + +"'Let me alone now, Father M'Grath, and don't be pinching me that way, +anyhow.' + +"'It was only a big flea that I perceived hopping on your gown, my +darling, devil anything else.' + +"'Many thanks to you, father, for that same; but the next time you'd +kill my fleas, just wait until they're in a _more dacent_ situation.' + +"'Fleas are fleas, Mrs O'Rourke, and we must catch 'em when we can, and +how we can, and as we can, so no offence. A good night's rest to you, +Mrs O'Rourke--when do you mean to confess?' + +"'I've an idea that I've too many fleas about me to confess to you just +now, Father M'Grath, and that's the truth on it. So a pleasant walk back +to you.' + +"So you'll perceive, my son, that having got all the information from +Mrs O'Rourke, it's back I went to Ballyhinch, till I heard it whispered +that there were doings down at the old house at Ballycleuch. Off I set, +and went to the house itself, as priests always ought to be welcomed at +births, and marriages, and deaths, being, as you know, of great use on +such occasions--when who should open the door but Father O'Toole, the +biggest rapparee of a priest in the whole of Ireland. Didn't he steal a +horse, and only save his neck by benefit of clergy? and did he ever give +absolution to a young woman without making her sin over again? 'What may +be your pleasure here, Father M'Grath?' says he, holding the door with +his hand. + +"'Only just to call and hear what's going on.' + +"'For the matter of that,' says he, 'I'll just tell you that we're all +going on very well; but ar'n't you ashamed of yourself, Father M'Grath, +to come here to interfere with my flock, knowing that I confess the +house altogether?' + +"'That's as may be,' says I; 'but I only wanted to know what the lady +had brought into the world.' + +"'It's a _child_' says he. + +"'Indeed!' says I; 'many thanks for the information; and pray what is it +that Mary Sullivan has brought into the world?' + +"'That's a _child_ too,' says he; 'and now that you know all about it, +good evening to you, Father M'Grath.' And the ugly brute slammed the +door right in my face. + +"'Who stole a horse?' cries I; but he didn't hear me--more's the pity. + +"So you'll perceive, my dear boy, that I have found out something, at +all events, but not so much as I intended; for I'll prove to Father +O'Toole that he's no match for Father M'Grath. But what I find out must +be reserved for another letter, seeing that it's not possible to tell it +to you in this same. Praties look well, but somehow or another, +_clothes_ don't grow upon trees in ould Ireland; and one of your +half-quarterly bills, or a little prize-money, if it found its way here, +would add not a little to the respectability of the family appearance. +Even my cassock is becoming too _holy_ for a parish priest; not that I +care about it so much, only Father O'Toole, the baste! had on a bran new +one--not that I believe that he ever came honestly by it, as I have by +mine--but, get it how you may, a new gown always looks better than an +old one, that's certain. So no more at present from your loving friend +and confessor, + +"URTAGH M'GRATH." + +"Now, you'll observe, Peter," said O'Brien, after I had read the letter, +"that, as I supposed, your uncle meant mischief when he went over to +Ireland. Whether the children are both boys or both girls, or your +uncle's is a boy, and the other is a girl, there is no knowing at +present. If an exchange was required, it's made, that's certain; but I +will write again to Father M'Grath, and insist upon his finding out the +truth, if possible. Have you any letter from your father?" + +"None, I am sorry to say. I wish I had, for he would not have failed to +speak on the subject." + +"Well, never mind, it's no use dreaming over the matter; we must do our +best when we get to England ourselves, and in the meantime trust to +Father M'Grath. I'll go and write to him while my mind's full of it." +O'Brien wrote his letter, and the subject was not started again. + + + + +Chapter XXXVII + +Captain Kearney's illness--He makes his will, and devises sundry +châteaux en Espagne for the benefit of those concerned--The legacy duty +in this instance not ruinous--He signs, seals, and dies. + + +The captain, as was his custom, went on shore, and took up his quarters +at a friend's house; that is to say, the house of an acquaintance, or +any polite gentleman who would ask him to take a dinner and a bed. This +was quite sufficient for Captain Kearney, who would fill his +portmanteau, and take up his quarters, without thinking of leaving them +until the ship sailed, or some more advantageous invitation was given. +This conduct in England would have very much trespassed on our ideas of +hospitality; but in our foreign settlements and colonies, where the +society is confined and novelty is desirable, a person who could amuse +like Captain Kearney was generally welcome, let him stay as long as he +pleased. All sailors agree in asserting that Halifax is one of the most +delightful ports in which a ship can anchor. Everybody is hospitable, +cheerful, and willing to amuse and be amused. It is, therefore, a very +bad place to send a ship to if you wish her to refit in a hurry; unless, +indeed, the admiral is there to watch over your daily progress, and a +sharp commissioner to expedite your motions in the dockyard. The admiral +was there when we arrived, and we should not have lain there long, had +not the health of Captain Kearney, by the time that we were ready for +sea, been so seriously affected, that the doctor was of opinion that he +could not sail. Another frigate was sent to our intended +cruising-ground, and we lay idle in port. But we consoled ourselves: if +we did not make prize-money, at all events, we were very happy, and the +major part of the officers very much in love. + +We had remained in Halifax harbour about three weeks, when a very great +change for the worse took place in Captain Kearney's disease. Disease, +indeed, it could hardly be called. He had been long suffering from the +insidious attacks of a hot climate, and though repeatedly advised to +invalid, he never would consent. His constitution appeared now to be +breaking up. In a few days he was so ill, that, at the request of the +naval surgeons, he consented to be removed to the hospital, where he +could command more comforts than in any private house. He had not been +at the hospital more than two days, when he sent for me, and stated his +wish that I should remain with him. "You know, Peter, that you are a +cousin of mine, and one likes to have one's relations near one when we +are sick, so bring your traps on shore. The doctor has promised me a +nice little room for yourself, and you shall come and sit with me all +day." I certainly had no objection to remain with him, because I +considered it my duty so to do, and I must say that there was no +occasion for me to make any effort to entertain him, as he always +entertained me; but I could not help seriously reflecting, and feeling +much shocked, at a man, lying in so dangerous a state--for the doctors +had pronounced his recovery to be impossible--still continuing a system +of falsehood during the whole day, without intermission. But it really +appeared in him to be innate; and, as Swinburne said, "if he told truth, +it was entirely by mistake." + +"Peter," said he, one day, "there's a great draught. Shut the door, and +put on some more coals." + +"The fire does not draw well, sir," replied I, "without the door is +open." + +"It's astonishing how little people understand the nature of these +things. When I built my house, called Walcot Abbey, there was not a +chimney would draw; I sent for the architect and abused him, but he +could not manage it: I was obliged to do it myself." + +"Did you manage it, sir?" + +"Manage it--I think I did. The first time I lighted the fire, I opened +the door, and the draught was so great, that my little boy, William, who +was standing in the current of air, would have gone right up the +chimney, if I had not caught him by the petticoats; as it was, his frock +was on fire." + +"Why sir, it must have been as bad as a hurricane!" + +"No, no, not quite so bad--but it showed what a little knowledge of +philosophical arrangement could effect. We have no hurricanes in +England, Peter; but I have seen a very pretty whirlwind when I was at +Walcot Abbey." + +"Indeed, sir." + +"Yes; it cut four square haystacks quite round, and I lost twenty tons +of hay; it twisted the iron lamp-post at the entrance just as a porpoise +twists a harpoon, and took up a sow and her litter of pigs, that were +about a hundred yards from the back of the house, and landed them safe +over the house to the front, with the exception of the old sow putting +her shoulder out." + +"Indeed, sir." + +"Yes, but what was strange, there were a great many rats in the hayrick, +and up they went with the hay. Now, Peter, by the laws of gravitation, +they naturally come down before the hay, and I was walking with my +greyhound, or rather terrier, and after one coming down close to her, +which she killed, it was quite ridiculous to witness her looking up in +the air, and watching for the others." + +"A greyhound did you say, sir, or a terrier?" + +"Both, Peter; the fact is, she had been a greyhound, but breaking her +foreleg against a stump, when coursing, I had the other three amputated +as well, and then she made a capital terrier. She was a great favourite +of mine." + +"Well," observed I, "I have read something like that in Baron +Munchausen." + +"Mr Simple," said the captain, turning on his elbow and looking me +severely in the face, "what do you mean to imply?" + +"Oh, nothing, sir, but I have read a story of that kind." + +"Most probably; the great art of invention is to found it upon facts. +There are some people who out of a mole-hill will make a mountain; and +facts and fiction become so blended nowadays, that even truth becomes a +matter of doubt." + +"Very true, sir," replied I; and as he did not speak for some minutes, I +ventured to bring my Bible to his bedside, as if I was reading it to +myself. + +"What are you reading, Peter?" said he. + +"Only a chapter in the Bible, sir," said I. "Would you like that I +should read aloud?" + +"Yes, I'm very fond of the Bible--it's the book of _truth_. Peter, read +me about Jacob, and his weathering Esau with a mess of pottage, and +obtaining his father's blessing." I could not help thinking it singular +that he should select a portion in which, for divine reasons, a lie was +crowned with success and reward. + +When I had finished it, he asked me to read something more; I turned +over to the Acts of the Apostles, and commenced the chapter in which +Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead. When I had finished, he observed +very seriously, "That is a very good lesson for young people, Peter, and +points out that you never should swerve from the truth. Recollect, as +your motto, Peter, to 'tell truth and shame the devil.'" + +After this observation I laid down the book, as it appeared to me that +he was quite unaware of his propensity; and without a sense of your +fault, how can repentance and amendment be expected? He became more +feeble and exhausted every day, and, at last, was so weak that he could +scarcely raise himself in his bed. One afternoon he said, "Peter, I +shall make my will, not that I am going to kick the bucket just yet; but +still it is every man's duty to set his house in order, and it will +amuse me; so fetch pen and paper, and come and sit down by me." + +I did as he requested. + +"Write, Peter, that I, Anthony George William Charles Huskisson Kearney +(my father's name was Anthony, Peter; I was christened George, after the +present Regent, William and Charles after Mr Pitt and Mr Fox, who were +my sponsors; Huskisson is the name of my great uncle, whose property +devolves to me; he's eighty-three now, so he can't last long)--have you +written down that?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Being in sound mind, do hereby make my last will and testament, +revoking all former wills." + +"Yes, sir." + +"I bequeath to my dearly beloved wife, Augusta Charlotte Kearney (she +was named after the Queen and Princess Augusta, who held her at the +baptismal font), all my household furniture, books, pictures, plate, and +houses, for her own free use and will, and to dispose of at her pleasure +upon her demise. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Also, the interest of all my money in the three percents, reduced, and +in the long annuities, and the balance in my agent's hands, for her +natural life. At her death to be divided into equal portions between my +two children, William Mohamed Potemkin Kearney, and Caroline Anastasia +Kearney. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well, then, Peter, now for my real property. My estate in Kent (let me +see, what is the name of it?)--Walcot Abbey, my three farms in the Vale +of Aylesbury, and the marsh lands in Norfolk, I bequeath to my two +children aforenamed, the proceeds of the same to be laid up, deducting +all necessary expenses for their education, for their sole use and +benefit. Is that down?" + +"Not yet, sir--'use and benefit.' Now it is, sir." + +"Until they come to the age of twenty-one years; or in case of my +daughter, until she marries with the consent of my executors, then to be +equally and fairly valued and divided between them. You observe, Peter, +I never make any difference between girls and boys--a good father will +leave one child as much as another. Now, I'll take my breath a little." + +I was really astonished. It was well known that Captain Kearney had +nothing but his pay, and that it was the hopes of prize-money to support +his family, which had induced him to stay out so long in the West +Indies. It was laughable; yet I could not laugh: there was a melancholy +feeling at such a specimen of insanity, which prevented me. + +"Now, Peter, we'll go on," said Captain Kearney, after a pause of a few +minutes. "I have a few legacies to bequeath. First, to all my servants +£50 each, and two suits of mourning; to my nephew, Thomas Kearney, of +Kearney Hall, Yorkshire, I bequeath the sword presented me by the Grand +Sultan. I promised it to him, and although we have quarrelled, and not +spoken for years, I always keep my word. The plate presented me by the +merchants and underwriters of Lloyd's, I leave to my worthy friend, the +Duke of Newcastle. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well; my snuff-box, presented me by Prince Potemkin, I bequeath to +Admiral Sir Isaac Coffin; and, also, I release him from the mortgage +which I hold over his property of the Madeline Islands, in North +America. By-the-bye, say, and further, I bequeath to him the bag of +snuff presented to me by the Dey of Algiers; he may as well have the +snuff as he has the snuff-box. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well then, now, Peter, I must leave you something." + +"Oh, never mind me," replied I. + +"No, no, Peter, I must not forget my cousin. Let me see; you shall have +my fighting sword. A real good one, I can tell you. I once fought a duel +with it at Palermo, and ran a Sicilian prince so clean through the body, +and it held so tight, that we were obliged to send for a pair of +post-horses to pull it out again. Put that down as a legacy for my +cousin, Peter Simple. I believe that is all. Now for my executors; and I +request my particular friends, the Earl of Londonderry, the Marquis of +Chandos, and Mr John Lubbock, banker, to be my executors, and leave each +of them the sum of one thousand pounds for their trouble, and in token +of regard. That will do, Peter. Now, as I have left so much real +property, it is necessary that there should be three witnesses; so call +in two more, and let me sign in your presence." + +This order was obeyed, and this strange will duly attested, for I hardly +need say, that even the presents he had pretended to receive were +purchased by himself at different times; but such was the force of his +ruling passion even to the last. Mr Phillott and O'Brien used to come +and see him, as did occasionally some of the other officers, and he was +always cheerful and merry, and seemed to be quite indifferent about his +situation, although fully aware of it. His stories, if anything, became +more marvellous, as no one ventured to express a doubt as to their +credibility. + +I had remained in the hospital about a week, when Captain Kearney was +evidently dying: the doctor came, felt his pulse, and gave it as his +opinion that he could not outlive the day. This was on a Friday, and +there certainly was every symptom of dissolution. He was so exhausted +that he could scarcely articulate; his feet were cold, and his eyes +appeared glazed, and turned upwards. The doctor remained an hour, felt +his pulse again, shook his head, and said to me, in a low voice, "He is +quite gone." As soon as the doctor quitted the room, Captain Kearney +opened his eyes, and beckoned me to him. "He's a confounded fool, +Peter," said he: "he thinks I am slipping my wind now--but I know +better; going I am, 'tis true--but I shan't die till next Thursday." +Strange to say, from that moment he rallied; and although it was +reported that he was dead, and the admiral had signed the acting order +for his successor, the next morning, to the astonishment of everybody, +Captain Kearney was still alive. He continued in this state, between +life and death, until the Thursday next, the day on which he asserted +that he would die--and, on that morning, he was evidently sinking fast. +Towards noon, his breathing became much oppressed and irregular, and he +was evidently dying; the rattle in his throat commenced; and I watched +at his bedside, waiting for his last gasp, when he again opened his +eyes, and beckoning me, with an effort, to put my head close to him to +hear what he had to say, he contrived, in a sort of gurgling whisper, +and with much difficulty, to utter--"Peter, I'm going now--not that the +rattle--in my throat--is a sign of death: for I once knew a man--to +_live_ with--_the rattle in his throat_--for _six weeks_." He fell back +and expired, having, perhaps, at his last gasp, told the greatest lie of +his whole life. + +Thus died this most extraordinary character, who, in most other points, +commanded respect: he was a kind man and a good officer; but from the +idiosyncrasy of his disposition, whether from habit or from nature, +could not speak the truth. I say from _nature_, because I have witnessed +the vice of stealing equally strong, and never to be eradicated. It was +in a young messmate of good family, and who was supplied with money to +almost any extent: he was one of the most generous, open-hearted lads +that I ever knew; he would offer his purse, or the contents of his +chest, to any of his messmates, and, at the same time, would steal +everything that he could lay his hands upon. I have known him watch for +hours, to steal what could be of no use to him, as, for instance, an +_odd_ shoe, and that much too small for his foot. What he stole he would +give away the very next day; but to check it was impossible. It was so +well known, that if anything was missed, we used first to apply to his +chest to see if it was there, and usually found the article in question. +He appeared to be wholly insensible to shame upon this subject, though +in every other he showed no want of feeling or of honour; and, strange +to say, he never covered his theft with a lie. After vain attempts to +cure him of this propensity, he was dismissed the service as +incorrigible. + +Captain Kearney was buried in the churchyard with the usual military +honours. In his desk we found directions, in his own hand, relative to +his funeral, and the engraving on his tombstone. In these, he stated his +aged to be thirty-one years. If this was correct, Captain Kearney, from +the time that he had been in the service of his country, must have +entered the navy just _four months before_ he was born. It was +unfortunate that he commenced the inscription with "Here lies Captain +Kearney," &c. &c. His tombstone had not been set up twenty-four hours +before somebody, who knew his character, put a dash under one word, as +emphatic as it was true of the living man, "Here _lies_ Captain." + + + + +Chapter XXXVIII + +Captain Horton--Gloomy news from home--Get over head and ears in the +water, and find myself afterwards growing one way, and my clothes +another--Though neither as rich as a Jew, nor as large as a camel, I +pass through my examination, which my brother candidates think passing +strange. + + +The day after Captain Kearney's decease, his acting successor made his +appearance on board. The character of Captain Horton was well known to +us from the complaints made by the officers belonging to his ship, of +his apathy and indolence; indeed, he went by the _soubriquet_ of "the +Sloth." It certainly was very annoying to his officers to witness so +many opportunities of prize-money and distinction thrown away through +the indolence of his disposition. Captain Horton was a young man of +family who had advanced rapidly in the service from interest, and from +occasionally distinguishing himself. In the several cutting-out +expeditions, on which he had not volunteered but had been ordered, he +had shown, not only courage, but a remarkable degree of coolness in +danger and difficulty, which had gained him much approbation: but it was +said that this coolness arose from his very fault--an unaccountable +laziness. He would walk away, as it were, from the enemy's fire, when +others would hasten, merely because he was so apathetic that he would +not exert himself to run. In one cutting-out expedition in which he +distinguished himself, it is said that having to board a very high +vessel, and that in a shower of grape and musketry, when the boat dashed +alongside, and the men were springing up, he looked up at the height of +the vessel's sides, and exclaimed, with a look of despair, "My God! must +we really climb up that vessel's decks?" When he had gained the deck, +and became excited, he then proved how little fear had to do with the +remark, the captain of the ship falling by his hand, as he fought in +advance on his own men. But this peculiarity, which in a junior officer +was of little consequence, and a subject of mirth, in a captain became +of a very serious nature. The admiral was aware how often he had +neglected to annoy or capture the enemy when he might have done it; and, +by such neglect, Captain Horton infringed one of the articles of war, +the punishment awarded to which infringement is _death_. His +appointment, therefore, to the _Sanglier_ was as annoying to us as his +quitting his former ship was agreeable to those on board of her. + +As it happened, it proved of little consequence: the admiral had +instructions from home to advance Captain Horton to the first vacancy, +which of course he was obliged to comply with; but not wishing to keep +on the station an officer who would not exert himself, he resolved to +send her to England with despatches and retain the other frigate which +had been ordered home, and which we had been sent up to replace. We +therefore heard it announced with feelings of joy, mingled with regret, +that we were immediately to proceed to England. For my part, I was glad +of it. I had now served my time as midshipman, to within five months, +and I thought that I had a better chance of being made in England than +abroad. I was also very anxious to go home, for family reasons, which I +have already explained. In a fortnight we sailed with several vessels, +and directions to take charge of a large convoy from Quebec, which was +to meet us off the island of St John's. In a few days we joined our +convoy, and with a fair wind bore up for England. The weather soon +became very bad, and we were scudding before a heavy gale, under bare +poles. Our captain seldom quitted the cabin, but remained there on a +sofa, stretched at his length, reading a novel, or dozing, as he found +most agreeable. + +I recollect a circumstance which occurred, which will prove the apathy +of his disposition, and how unfit he was to command so fine a frigate. +We had been scudding three days, when the weather became much worse. + +O'Brien, who had the middle watch, went down to report that "it blew +very hard." + +"Very well," said the captain; "let me know if it blows harder." + +In about an hour more the gale increased, and O'Brien went down again. +"It blows much harder, Captain Horton." + +"Very well," answered Captain Horton, turning in his cot; "you may call +me again when it _blows harder_." + +At about six bells the gale was at its height, and the wind roared in +its fury. Down went O'Brien again. "It blows tremendous hard now, +Captain Horton." + +"Well, well, if the weather becomes worse--" + +"It can't be worse," interrupted O'Brien; "it's impossible to blow +harder." + +"Indeed! Well, then," replied the captain, "let me know when _it +lulls_." + +In the morning watch a similar circumstance took place. Mr Phillott went +down, and said that several of the convoy were out of sight astern. +"Shall we heave-to, Captain Horton?" + +"Oh, no," replied he, "she will be so uneasy. Let me know if you lose +sight of any more." + +In another hour the first lieutenant reported that "there were very few +to be seen." + +"Very well, Mr Phillott," replied the captain, turning round to sleep; +"let me know if you lose any more." + +Some time elapsed, and the first lieutenant reported "that they were all +out of sight." + +"Very well, then," said the captain; "call me when you see them again." + +This was not very likely to take place, as we were going twelve knots an +hour, and running away from them as fast as we could; so the captain +remained undisturbed until he thought proper to get up to breakfast. +Indeed, we never saw any more of our convoy, but taking the gale with +us, in fifteen days anchored in Plymouth Sound. The orders came down for +the frigate to be paid off, all standing, and recommissioned. I received +letters from my father, in which he congratulated me at my name being +mentioned in Captain Kearney's despatches, and requested me to come home +as soon as I could. The admiral allowed my name to be put down on the +books of the guard-ship, that I might not lose my time, and then gave me +two months' leave of absence. I bade farewell to my shipmates, shook +hands with O'Brien, who proposed to go over to Ireland previous to his +applying for another ship, and, with my pay in my pocket, set off in the +Plymouth mail, and in three days was once more in the arms of my +affectionate mother, and warmly greeted by my father and the remainder +of my family. + +Once more with my family, I must acquaint the reader with what had +occurred since my departure. My eldest sister, Lucy, had married an +officer in the army, a Captain Fielding, and his regiment having been +ordered out to India, had accompanied her husband, and letters had been +received, just before my return announcing their safe arrival at Ceylon. +My second sister, Mary, had also been engaged to be married, and from +her infancy was of extremely delicate health. She was very handsome, and +much admired. Her intended husband was a baronet of good family; but +unfortunately, she caught a cold at the assize ball and went off in a +decline. She died about two months before my arrival, and the family +were in deep mourning. My third sister, Ellen, was still unmarried; she +also was a very beautiful girl, and now seventeen. My mother's +constitution was much shaken by the loss of my sister Mary, and the +separation from her eldest child. As for my father, even the loss of his +daughter appeared to be wholly forgotten in the unwelcome intelligence +which he had received, that my uncle's wife had been safely delivered of +a _son_, which threw him out of the anticipated titles and estates of my +grandfather. It was indeed a house of mourning. My mother's grief I +respected, and tried all I could to console her; that of my father was +so evidently worldly, and so at variance with his clerical profession, +that I must acknowledge I felt more of anger at it than sorrow. He had +become morose and sullen, harsh to those around him, and not so kind to +my mother as her state of mind and health made it his duty to be, even +if inclination were wanted. He seldom passed any portion of the day with +her, and in the evening she went to bed very early, so that there was +little communication between them. My sister was a great consolation to +her, and so I hope was I; she often said so as she embraced me, and the +tears rolled down her cheeks, and I could not help surmising that those +tears were doubled from the coolness and indifference, if not +unkindness, with which my father behaved to her. As for my sister, she +was an angel; and as I witnessed her considerate attentions to my +mother, and the total forgetfulness of self which she displayed (so +different from my father, who was all self), I often thought what a +treasure she would prove to any man who was fortunate enough to win her +love. Such was the state of my family when I returned to it. + +I had been at home about a week, when one evening, after dinner, I +submitted to my father the propriety of trying to obtain my promotion. + +"I can do nothing for you, Peter; I have no interest whatever," replied +he, moodily. + +"I do not think that much is required, sir," replied I; "my time will be +served on the 20th of next month. If I pass, which I trust I shall be +able to do, my name having been mentioned in the public despatches will +render it a point of no very great difficulty to obtain my commission at +the request of my grandfather." + +"Yes, your grandfather might succeed, I have no doubt; but I think you +have little chance now in that quarter. My brother has a son, and we are +thrown out. You are not aware, Peter, how selfish people are, and how +little they will exert themselves for their relations. Your grandfather +has never invited me since the announcement of my brother's increase to +his family. Indeed, I have never been near him, for I know that it is of +no use." + +"I must think otherwise of Lord Privilege, my dear father, until your +opinion is confirmed by his own conduct. That I am not so much an object +of interest, I grant; but still he was very kind, and appeared to be +partial to me." + +"Well, well, you can try all you can, but you'll soon see of what stuff +this world is made; I am sure I hope it will be so, for what is to +become of you children if I die, I do not know;--I have saved little or +nothing. And now all my prospects are blasted by this--" and my father +dashed his fist upon the table in a manner by no means clerical, and +with a look very unworthy of an apostle. + +I am sorry that I must thus speak of my father, but I must not disguise +the truth. Still, I must say, there was much in extenuation of his +conduct. He had always a dislike to the profession of the church: his +ambition, as a young man, had been to enter the army, for which service +he was much better qualified; but, as it has been the custom for +centuries to entail all the property of the aristocracy upon the eldest +son, and leave the other brothers to be supported by the state, or +rather by the people, who are taxed for their provision, my father was +not permitted to follow the bent of his own inclination. An elder +brother had already selected the army as his profession, and it was +therefore decided that my father should enter the church; and thus it is +that we have had, and still have, so many people in that profession, who +are not only totally unfit for, but who actually disgrace, their +calling. The law of primogeniture is beset with evils and injustice; yet +without it, the aristocracy of a country must sink into insignificance. +It appears to me, that as long as the people of a country are content to +support the younger sons of the nobility, it is well that the +aristocracy should be held up as a third estate, and a link between the +sovereign and the people; but that if the people are either too poor, or +are unwilling to be so taxed, they have a right to refuse taxation for +such purposes, and to demand that the law of primogeniture should be +abolished. + +I remained at home until my time was complete, and then set off for +Plymouth to undergo my examination. The passing-day had been fixed by +the admiral for the Friday, and, as I arrived on Wednesday, I amused +myself during the day, walking about the dockyard, and trying all I +could to obtain further information in my profession. On the Thursday, a +party of soldiers from the depot were embarking at the landing-place in +men-of-war boats, and, as I understood, were about to proceed to India. +I witnessed the embarkation, and waited till they shoved off, and then +walked to the anchor wharf to ascertain the weights of the respective +anchors of the different classes of vessels in the King's service. + +I had not been there long, when I was attracted by the squabbling +created by a soldier, who, it appeared, had quitted the ranks to run up +to the tap in the dockyard to obtain liquor. He was very drunk, and was +followed by a young woman with a child in her arms, who was endeavouring +to pacify him. + +"Now be quiet, Patrick, jewel," said she, clinging to him; "sure it's +enough that you've left the ranks, and will come to disgrace when you +get on board. Now be quiet, Patrick, and let us ask for a boat, and then +perhaps the officer will think it was all a mistake, and let you off +aisy; and sure I'll speak to Mr O'Rourke, and he's a kind man." + +"Out wid you, you cratur, it is Mr O'Rourke you'd be having a +conversation wid, and he be chucking you under that chin of yours. Out +wid you, Mary, and lave me to find my way on board. Is it a boat I want, +when I can swim like St Patrick, wid my head under my arm, if it wasn't +on my shoulders? At all events, I can wid my nappersack and musket to +boot." + +The young woman cried, and tried to restrain him, but he broke from her, +and running down to the wharf, dashed off into the water. The young +woman ran to the edge of the wharf, perceived him sinking, and shrieking +with despair, threw up her arms in her agony. The child fell, struck on +the edge of the piles, turned over, and before I could catch hold of it, +sank into the sea. "The child! the child!" burst forth in another wild +scream, and the poor creature lay at my feet in violent fits. I looked +over, the child had disappeared; but the soldier was still struggling +with his head above water. He sank and rose again--a boat was pulling +towards him, but he was quite exhausted. He threw back his arms as if in +despair, and was about disappearing under a wave, when, no longer able +to restrain myself, I leaped off the high wharf, and swam to his +assistance, just in time to lay hold of him as he was sinking for the +last time. I had not been in the water a quarter of a minute before the +boat came up to us, and dragged us on board. The soldier was exhausted +and speechless. I, of course, was only very wet. The boat rowed to the +landing-place at my request, and we were both put on shore. The knapsack +which was fixed on the soldier's back, and his regimentals, indicated +that he belonged to the regiment just embarked; and I stated my opinion +that, as soon as he was a little recovered, he had better be taken on +board. As the boat which picked us up was one of the men-of-war boats, +the officer who had been embarking the troops, and had been sent on +shore again to know if there were any yet left behind, consented. In a +few minutes the soldier recovered, and was able to sit up and speak, and +I only waited to ascertain the state of the poor young woman whom I had +left on the wharf. In a few minutes she was led to us by the warder, and +the scene between her and her husband was most affecting. When she had +become a little composed, she turned round to me, where I stood dripping +wet, and, intermingled with lamentation for the child, showering down +emphatic blessings on my head, inquired my name. "Give it to me!" she +cried; "give it to me on paper, in writing, that I may wear it next my +heart, read and kiss it every day of my life, and never forget to pray +for you, and to bless you!" + +"I'll tell it you. My name--" + +"Nay, write it down for me--write it down. Sure you'll not refuse me. +All the saints bless you, dear young man, for saving a poor woman from +despair!" + +The officer commanding the boat handed me a pencil and a card; I wrote +my name and gave it to the poor woman; she took my hand as I gave it, +kissed the card repeatedly, and put it into her bosom. The officer, +impatient to shove off, ordered her husband into the boat--she followed, +clinging to him, wet as he was--the boat shoved off, and I hastened up +to the inn to dry my clothes. I could not help observing, at the time, +how the fear of a greater evil will absorb all consideration for a +minor. Satisfied that her husband had not perished, she had hardly once +appeared to remember that she had lost her child. + +I had only brought one suit of clothes with me: they were in very good +condition when I arrived, but salt water plays the devil with a uniform. +I laid in bed until they were dry; but when I put them on again, not +being before too large for me, for I grew very fast, they were now +shrunk and shrivelled up, so as to be much too small. My wrists appeared +below the sleeves of my coat--my trousers had shrunk half way up to my +knees--the buttons were all tarnished, and altogether I certainly did +not wear the appearance of a gentlemanly, smart midshipman. I would have +ordered another suit, but the examination was to take place at ten +o'clock the next morning, and there was no time. I was therefore obliged +to appear as I was, on the quarter-deck of the line-of-battle ship, on +board of which the passing was to take place. Many others were there to +undergo the same ordeal, all strangers to me, and as I perceived by +their nods and winks to each other, as they walked up and down in their +smart clothes, not at all inclined to make my acquaintance. + +There were many before me on the list, and our hearts beat every time +that a name was called, and the owner of it walked aft into the cabin. +Some returned with jocund faces, and our hopes mounted with the +anticipation of similar good fortune; others came out melancholy and +crest-fallen, and then the expression of their countenances was +communicated to our own, and we quailed with fear and apprehension. I +have no hesitation in asserting, that although "passing" may be a proof +of being qualified, "not passing" is certainly no proof to the contrary. +I have known many of the cleverest young men turned back (while others +of inferior abilities have succeeded), merely from the feeling of awe +occasioned by the peculiarity of the situation: and it is not to be +wondered at, when it is considered that all the labour and exertion of +six years are at stake at this appalling moment. At last my name was +called, and almost breathless from anxiety, I entered the cabin, where I +found myself in presence of the three captains who were to decide +whether I were fit to hold a commission in His Majesty's service. My +logs and certificates were examined and approved; my time calculated and +allowed to be correct. The questions in navigation which were put to me +were very few, for the best of all possible reasons, that most captains +in His Majesty's service know little or nothing of navigation. During +their servitude as midshipmen, they learn it by _rote_, without being +aware of the principles upon which the calculations they use are +founded. As lieutenants, their services as to navigation are seldom +required, and they rapidly forget all about it. As captains, their whole +remnant of mathematical knowledge consists in being able to set down the +ship's position on the chart. As for navigating the ship, the master is +answerable; and the captains not being responsible themselves, they +trust entirely to his reckoning. Of course there are exceptions, but +what I state is the fact; and if an order from the Admiralty was given, +that all captains should pass again, although they might acquit +themselves very well in seamanship, nineteen out of twenty would be +turned back when they were questioned in navigation. It is from the +knowledge of this fact that I think the service is injured by the +present system, and the captain should be held _wholly_ responsible for +the navigation of his ship. It has been long known that the officers of +every other maritime state are more scientific than our own, which is +easily explained, from the responsibility not being invested in our +captains. The origin of masters in our service is singular. When England +first became a maritime power, ships for the King's service were found +by the Cinque Ports and other parties--the fighting part of the crew was +composed of soldiers sent on board. All the vessels at that time had a +crew of sailors, with a master to navigate the vessel. During our bloody +naval engagements with the Dutch, the same system was acted upon. I +think it was the Earl of Sandwich, of whom it is stated, that his ship +being in a sinking state, he took a boat to hoist his flag on board of +another vessel in the fleet, but a shot cutting the boat in two, and the +_weight of his armour_ bearing him down, the Earl of Sandwich perished. +But to proceed. + +As soon as I had answered several questions satisfactorily, I was +desired to stand up. The captain who had interrogated me on navigation, +was very grave in his demeanour towards me, but at the same time not +uncivil. During his examination, he was not interfered with by the other +two, who only undertook the examination in "seamanship." The captain, +who now desired me to stand up, spoke in a very harsh tone, and quite +frightened me. I stood up pale and trembling, for I augured no good from +this commencement. Several questions in seamanship were put to me, which +I have no doubt I answered in a very lame way, for I cannot even now +recollect what I said. + +"I thought so," observed the captain; "I judged as much from your +appearance. An officer who is so careless of his dress, as not even to +put on a decent coat when he appears at his examination, generally turns +out an idle fellow, and no seaman. One would think you had served all +your time in a cutter, or a ten-gun brig, instead of dashing frigates. +Come, sir, I'll give you one more chance." + +I was so hurt at what the captain said, that I could not control my +feelings. I replied, with a quivering lip, "that I had had no time to +order another uniform,"--and I burst into tears. + +"Indeed, Burrows, you are rather too harsh," said the third captain; +"the lad is frightened. Let him sit down and compose himself for a +little while. Sit down, Mr Simple, and we will try you again directly." + +I sat down, checking my grief and trying to recall my scattered senses. +The captains, in the meantime, turning over the logs to pass away the +time; the one who had questioned me in navigation reading the Plymouth +newspaper, which had a few minutes before been brought on board and sent +into the cabin. "Heh! what's this? I say Burrows--Keats, look here," and +he pointed to a paragraph. "Mr Simple, may I ask whether it was you who +saved the soldier who leaped off the wharf yesterday?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I; "and that's the reason why my uniforms are so +shabby. I spoilt them then, and had no time to order others. I did not +like to say why they were spoilt." I saw a change in the countenances of +all the three, and it gave me courage. Indeed, now that my feelings had +found vent, I was no longer under any apprehension. + +"Come, Mr Simple, stand up again," said the captain, kindly, "that is, +if you feel sufficiently composed; if not, we will wait a little longer. +Don't be afraid, we _wish_ to pass you." + +I was not afraid, and stood up immediately. I answered every question +satisfactorily; and finding that I did so, they put more difficult ones. +"Very good, very good indeed, Mr Simple; now let me ask you one more; +it's seldom done in the service, and perhaps you may not be able to +answer it. Do you know how to _club-haul_ a ship?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I, having, as the reader may recollect, witnessed +the manoeuvre when serving under poor Captain Savage, and I immediately +stated how it was to be done. + +"That is sufficient, Mr Simple. I wish to ask you no more questions. I +thought at first you were a careless officer and no seaman: I now find +that you are a good seaman and a gallant young man. Do you wish to ask +any more questions?" continued he, turning to the two others. + +They replied in the negative; my passing certificate was signed, and the +captains did me the honour to shake hands with me, and wish me speedy +promotion. Thus ended happily this severe trial to my poor nerves; and, +as I came out of the cabin, no one could have imagined that I had been +in such distress within, when they beheld the joy that irradiated my +countenance. + + + + +Chapter XXXIX + +Is a chapter of plots--Catholic casuistry in a new cassock--Plotting +promotes promotion--A peasant's love and a peer's peevishness--Prospects +of prosperity. + + +As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I sent for a Plymouth paper, and cut +out the paragraph which had been of such importance to me in my +emergency, and the next morning returned home to receive the +congratulations of my family. I found a letter from O'Brien, which had +arrived the day before. It was as follows:-- + + "MY DEAR PETER,--Some people, they say, are lucky to 'have a father + born before them,' because they are helped on in the world--upon + which principle, mine was born _after_ me, that's certain; however, + that can't be helped. I found all my family well and hearty; but they + all shook a cloth in the wind with respect to toggery. As for Father + M'Grath's cassock, he didn't complain of it without reason. It was the + ghost of a garment; but, however, with the blessing of God, my last + quarterly bill, and the help of a tailor, we have had a regular refit, + and the ancient family of the O'Briens of Ballyhinch are now rigged + from stem to starn. My two sisters are both to be spliced to young + squireens in the neighbourhood; it appears that they only wanted for a + dacent town gown to go to the church in. They will be turned off next + Friday, and I only wish, Peter, you were here to dance at the + weddings. Never mind, I'll dance for you and for myself too. In the + meantime, I'll just tell you what Father M'Grath and I have been + doing, all about and consarning that thief of an uncle of yours. + + "It's very little or nothing at all that Father M'Grath did before I + came back, seeing as how Father O'Toole had a new cassock, and Father + M'Grath's was so shabby that he couldn't face him under such a + disadvantage; but still Father M'Grath spied about him, and had + several hints from here and from there, all of which, when I came to + add them up, amounted to just nothing at all. + + "But since I came home, we have been busy. Father M'Grath went down to + Ballycleuch, as bold as a lion in his new clothing, swearing that he'd + lead Father O'Toole by the nose for slamming the door in his face, and + so he would have done, if he could have found him; but as he wasn't to + be found, Father M'Grath came back again just as wise, and quite as + brave, as he went out. + + "So, Peter, I just took a walk that way myself, and, as I surrounded + the old house where your uncle had taken up his quarters, who should I + meet but the little girl, Ella Flanagan, who was in his service; and I + said to myself, 'There's two ways of obtaining things in this world, + one is for love, and the other is for money.' The O'Briens are better + off in the first article than in the last, as most of their countrymen + are, so I've been spending it very freely in your service, Peter. + + "'Sure,' says I, 'you are the little girl that my eyes were ever + looking upon when last I was in this way.' + + "'And who are you?' says she. + + "'Lieutenant O'Brien, of his Majesty's service, just come home for a + minute to look out for a wife,' says I; 'and it's one about your make, + and shape, and discretion that would please my fancy.' + + "And then I praised her eyes, and her nose, and her forehead, and so + downwards, until I came to the soles of her feet; and asked her leave + to see her again, and when she would meet me in the wood and tell me + her mind. At first, she thought (sure enough) that I couldn't be in + earnest, but I swore by all the saints that she was the prettiest girl + in the parts--and so she is altogether--and then she listened to my + blarney. The devil a word did I say about your uncle, or your aunt, or + Father M'Grath, that she might not suspect for I've an idea that + they're all in the story. I only talked about my love for her pretty + self, and that blinded her, as it will all women, 'cute as they may + be. + + "And now, Peter, it's three weeks last Sunday, that I've been + bespeaking this poor girl for your sake, and my conscience tells me + that it's not right to make the poor crature fond of me, seeing as how + that I don't care a fig for her in the way of a wife, and in any other + way it would be the ruin of the poor thing. I have spoken to Father + M'Grath on the subject, who says, 'that we may do evil that good may + come, and that, if she has been a party to the deceit, it's nothing + but proper that she should be punished in this world, and that will, + perhaps, save her in the next;' still I don't like it, Peter, and it's + only for you among the living that I'd do such a thing; for the poor + creature now hangs upon me so fondly, and talks about the wedding-day; + and tells me long stories about the connections which have taken place + between the O'Flanagans and the O'Briens, times bygone, when they were + all in their glory. Yesterday, as we sat in the wood, with her arm + round my waist, 'Ella, dear,' says I, 'who are these people that you + stay with?' And then she told me all she knew about their history, and + how Mary Sullivan was a nurse to the baby. + + "'And what is the baby?' says I. + + "'A boy, sure,' says she. + + "'And Sullivan's baby?' + + "'That's a girl.' + + "'And is Mary Sullivan there now?' + + "'No' says she; 'it's yestreen she left with her husband and baby, to + join the regiment that's going out to Ingy.' + + "'Yesterday she left?' says I, starting up. + + "'Yes,' replies she, 'and what do you care about them?' + + "'It's very much I care,' replied I, 'for a little bird has whispered + a secret to me.' + + "'And what may that be?' says she. + + "'Only that the childer were changed, and you know it as well as I + do.' But she swore that she knew nothing about it, and that she was + not there when either of the children was born, and I believe that she + told the truth. 'Well,' says I, 'who tended the lady?' + + "'My own mother,' says Ella. 'And if it was so, who can know but she?' + + "Then,' says I, 'Ella, jewel, I've made a vow that I'll never marry + till I find out the truth of this matter; so the sooner you get it out + of your mother the better.' Then she cried very much, and I was almost + ready to cry too, to see how the poor thing was vexed at the idea of + not being married. After a while, she swabbed up her cheeks, and + kissing me, wished me good-by, swearing by all the saints that the + truth should come out, somehow or another. + + "It's this morning that I saw her again, as agreed upon yesterday, and + red her eyes were with weeping, poor thing; and she clung to me, and + begged me to forgive her, and not to leave her; and then she told me + that her mother was startled when she put the question to her, and + chewed it, and cursed her when she insisted upon the truth; and how + she had fallen on her knees, and begged her mother not to stand in the + way of her happiness, as she would die if she did (I leave you to + guess if my heart didn't smite me when she said that, Peter, but the + mischief was done), and how her mother had talked about her oath and + Father O'Toole, and said that she would speak to him. + + "Now, Peter, I'm sure that the childer have been changed, and that the + nurse has been sent to the Indies to be out of the way. They say they + were to go to Plymouth. The husband's name is, of course, O'Sullivan; + so I'd recommend you to take a coach and see what you can do in that + quarter; in the meantime I'll try all I can for the truth in this, and + will write again as soon as I can find out anything more. All I want + to do is to get Father M'Grath to go to the old devil of a mother, and + I'll answer for it, he'll frighten her into swearing anything. God + bless you, Peter, and give my love to all the family. + + "Yours ever, + + "TERENCE O'BRIEN." + +This letter of O'Brien was the subject of much meditation. The advice to +go to Plymouth was too late, the troops having sailed some time; and I +had no doubt but that Mary Sullivan and her husband were among those who +had embarked at the time that I was at that port to pass my examination. +Show the letter to my father I would not, as it would only have put him +in a fever, and his interference would, in all probability, have done +more harm than good. I therefore waited quietly for more intelligence, +and resolved to apply to my grandfather to obtain my promotion. + +A few days afterwards I set off for Eagle Park, and arrived about eleven +o'clock in the morning. I sent in my name, and was admitted into the +library, where I found Lord Privilege in his easy chair as usual. + +"Well, child," said he, remaining on his chair, and not offering even +_one_ finger to me, "what do you want, that you come here without an +invitation?" + +"Only, my lord, to inquire after your health, and to thank you for your +kindness to me in procuring me and Mr O'Brien the appointment to a fine +frigate." + +"Yes," replied his lordship, "I recollect--I think I did so, at your +request, and I think I heard some one say that you have behaved well, +and had been mentioned in the despatches." + +"Yes, my lord," replied I, "and I have since passed my examination for +lieutenant." + +"Well, child, I'm glad to hear it. Remember me to your father and +family." And his lordship cast his eyes down upon the book which he had +been reading. + +My father's observations appeared to be well grounded, but I would not +leave the room until I had made some further attempt. + +"Has your lordship heard from my uncle?" + +"Yes," replied he, "I had a letter from him yesterday. The child is +quite well. I expect them all here in a fortnight or three weeks, to +live with me altogether. I am old--getting very old, and I shall have +much to arrange with your uncle before I die." + +"If I might request a favour of your lordship, it would be to beg that +you would interest yourself a little in obtaining my promotion. A letter +from your lordship to the First Lord--only a few lines--" + +"Well, child, I see no objection--only--I am very old, too old to write +now." And his lordship again commenced reading. + +I must do Lord Privilege the justice to state that he evidently was fast +verging to a state of second childhood. He was much bowed down since I +had last seen him, and appeared infirm in body as well as mind. + +I waited at least a quarter of an hour before his lordship looked up. + +"What, not gone yet, child? I thought you had gone home." + +"Your lordship was kind enough to say that you had no objection to write +a few lines to the First Lord in my behalf. I trust your lordship will +not refuse me." + +"Well," replied he, peevishly, "so I did--but I am too old, too old to +write--I cannot see--I can hardly hold a pen." + +"Will your lordship allow me the honour of writing the letter for your +lordship's signature?" + +"Well, child--yes--I've no objection. Write as follows--no--write +anything you please--and I'll sign it. I wish your uncle William were +come." + +This was more than I did. I had a great mind to show him O'Brien's +letter, but I thought it would be cruel to raise doubts, and harass the +mind of a person so close to the brink of the grave. The truth would +never be ascertained during his life, I thought, and why, therefore, +should I give him pain? At all events, although I had the letter in my +pocket, I resolved not to make use of it except as a _dernier_ resort. + +I went to another table, and sat down to write the letter. As his +lordship had said that I might write what I pleased, it occurred to me +that I might assist O'Brien, and I felt sure that his lordship would not +take the trouble to read the letter. I therefore wrote as follows, while +Lord Privilege continued to read his book:-- + + "MY LORD,--You will confer a very great favour upon me, if you will + hasten the commission which, I have no doubt, is in preparation for my + nephew, Mr Simple, who has passed his examination, and has been + mentioned in the public despatches, and also that you will not lose + sight of Lieutenant O'Brien, who has so distinguished himself by his + gallantry in the various cutting-out expeditions in the West Indies. + Trusting that your lordship will not fail to comply with my earnest + request, I have the honour to be, your lordship's very obedient humble + servant." + +I brought this letter, with a pen full of ink, and the noise of my +approach induced his lordship to look up. He stared at first, as having +forgotten the whole circumstance--then said--"Oh yes! I recollect, so I +did--give me the pen." With a trembling hand he signed his name, and +gave me back the letter without reading it, as I expected. + +"There, child, don't tease me any more. Good-bye; remember me to your +father." + +I wished his lordship a good morning, and went away well satisfied with +the result of my expedition. On my arrival I showed the letter to my +father, who was much surprised at my success, and he assured me that my +grandfather's interest was so great with the administration, that I +might consider my promotion as certain. That no accident might happen, I +immediately set off for London, and delivered the letter at the door of +the First Lord with my own hands, leaving my address with the porter. + + + + +Chapter XL + +O'Brien and myself take a step each, _pari passu_--A family reunion +productive of anything but unity--My uncle not always the best friend. + + +A few days afterwards I left my card with my address with the First +Lord, and the next day received a letter from his secretary, which, to +my delight, informed me that my commission had been made out some days +before. I hardly need say that I hastened to take it up, and when paying +my fee to the clerk, I ventured, at a hazard, to inquire whether he knew +the address of Lieutenant O'Brien. + +"No," replied he, "I wish to find it out, for he has this day been +promoted to the rank of Commander." + +I almost leaped with joy when I heard this good news. I gave O'Brien's +address to the clerk, hastened away with my invaluable piece of +parchment in my hand, and set off immediately for my father's house. + +But I was met with sorrow. My mother had been taken severely ill, and I +found the house in commotion--doctors, and apothecaries, and nurses, +running to and fro, my father in a state of excitement, and my dear +sister in tears. Spasm succeeded spasm; and although every remedy was +applied, the next evening she breathed her last. I will not attempt to +describe the grief of my father, who appeared to feel remorse at his +late unkind treatment of her, my sister, and myself. These scenes must +be imagined by those who have suffered under similar bereavements. I +exerted myself to console my poor sister, who appeared to cling to me as +to her only support, and, after the funeral was over, we recovered our +tranquillity, although the mourning was still deeper in our hearts than +in our outward dress. I had written to O'Brien to announce the mournful +intelligence, and, like a true friend, he immediately made his +appearance to console me. + +O'Brien had received the letter from the Admiralty, acquainting him with +his promotion; and, two days after he arrived, went to take up his +commission. I told him frankly by what means he had obtained it, and he +again concluded his thanks by a reference to the mistake of the former +supposition, that of my being "the fool of the family." + +"By the powers, it would be well for any man if he had a few of such +foolish friends about him," continued he; "but I won't blarney you, +Peter; you know what my opinion always has been, so we'll say no more +about it." + +When he came back, we had a long consultation as to the best method of +proceeding to obtain employment, for O'Brien was anxious to be again +afloat, and so was I. I regretted parting with my sister, but my father +was so morose and ill-tempered, that I had no pleasure at home, except +in her company. Indeed, my sister was of opinion, that it would be +better if I were away, as my father's misanthropy, now unchecked by my +mother, appeared to have increased, and he seemed to view me with +positive dislike. It was, therefore, agreed unanimously between my +sister, and me, and O'Brien, who was always of our councils, that it +would be advisable that I should be again afloat. + +"I can manage him much better when alone, Peter; I shall have nothing to +occupy me, and take me away from him, as your presence does now; and, +painful as it is to part with you, my duty to my father, and my wish for +your advancement, induce me to request that you will, if possible, find +some means of obtaining employment." + +"Spoken like a hero, as ye are, Miss Ellen, notwithstanding your pretty +face and soft eyes," said O'Brien. "And now, Peter, for the means to +bring it about. If I can get a ship, there is no fear for you, as I +shall choose you for my lieutenant; but how is that to be managed? Do +you think that you can come over the old gentleman at Eagle Park?" + +"At all events, I'll try," replied I; "I can but be floored, O'Brien." + +Accordingly, the next day I set off for my grandfather's, and was put +down at the lodge, at the usual hour, about eleven o'clock. I walked up +the avenue, and knocked at the door: when it was opened, I perceived a +hesitation among the servants, and a constrained air, which I did not +like. I inquired after Lord Privilege--the answer was, that he was +pretty well, but did not see _any_ body. + +"Is my uncle here?" said I. + +"Yes, sir," replied the servant, with a significant look, "and all his +family are here too." + +"Are you sure that I cannot see my _grandfather_" said I, laying a +stress upon the word. + +"I will tell him that you are here, sir," replied the man, "but even +that is against orders." + +I had never seen my uncle since I was a child, and could not even +recollect him--my cousins, or my aunt, I had never met with. In a minute +an answer was brought, requesting that I would walk into the library. +When I was ushered in, I found myself in the presence of Lord Privilege, +who sat in his usual place, and a tall gentleman, whom I knew at once to +be my uncle, from his likeness to my father. + +"Here is the young gentleman, my lord," said my uncle, looking at me +sternly. + +"Heh! what--oh? I recollect. Well, child, so you've been behaving very +ill--sorry to hear it. Good-bye." + +"Behaving ill, my lord!" replied I. "I am not aware of having so done." + +"Reports are certainly very much against you, nephew," observed my +uncle, drily. "Some one has told your grandfather what has much +displeased him. I know nothing about it myself." + +"Then some rascal has slandered me, sir," replied I. + +My uncle started at the word rascal; and then recovering himself, +replied, "Well, nephew, what is it that you require of Lord Privilege, +for I presume this visit is not without a cause?" + +"Sir," replied I, "my visit to Lord Privilege was, first to thank him +for having procured me my commission as lieutenant, and to request the +favour that he would obtain me active employment, which a line from him +will effect immediately." + +"I was not aware, nephew, that you had been made lieutenant; but I agree +with you, that the more you are at sea the better. His lordship shall +sign the letter. Sit down." + +"Shall I write it, sir?" said I to my uncle: "I know what to say." + +"Yes; and bring it to me when it is written." + +I felt convinced that the only reason which induced my uncle to obtain +me employment was the idea that I should be better out of the way, and +that there was more risk at sea than on shore. I took a sheet of paper, +and wrote as follows:-- + + "My LORD,--May I request that your lordship will be pleased to + appoint the bearer of this to a ship, as soon as convenient, as I wish + him to be actively employed. + + "I am, my lord, &c, &c." + +"Why not mention your name?" + +"It is of no consequence," replied I, "as it will be delivered in +person, and that will insure my speedy appointment." + +The letter was placed before his lordship for signature. It was with +some difficulty that he was made to understand that he was to sign it. +The old gentleman appeared much more imbecile than when I last saw him. +I thanked him, folded up the letter, and put it in my pocket. At last he +looked at me, and a sudden flash of recollection appeared to come across +his mind. + +"Well child so you escaped from the French prison--heh! and how's your +friend--what is his name, heh?" + +"O'Brien, my lord." + +"O'Brien!" cried my uncle, "he is _your_ friend; then, sir, I presume it +is to you that I am indebted for all the inquiries and reports which are +so industriously circulated in Ireland--the tampering with my servants-- +and other impertinences?" + +I did not choose to deny the truth, although I was a little fluttered by +the sudden manner in which it came to light. I replied, "I never tamper +with any people's servants, sir." + +"No," said he, "but you employ others so to do. I discovered the whole +of your proceedings after the scoundrel left for England." + +"If you apply the word scoundrel _to_ Captain O'Brien, sir, in his name +I contradict it." + +"As you please, sir," replied my uncle, in a passion; "but you will +oblige me by quitting this house immediately, and expect nothing more, +either from the present or the future Lord Privilege, except that +retaliation which your infamous conduct has deserved." + +I felt much irritated, and replied very sharply, "From the present Lord +Privilege I certainly expect nothing more, neither do I from his +successor; but after your death, uncle, I expect that the person who +succeeds to the title will do all he can for your humble servant. I wish +you a good morning, uncle." + +My uncle's eyes flashed fire as I finished my speech, which indeed was a +very bold, and a very foolish one too, as it afterwards proved. I +hastened out of the room, not only from the fear of being turned out of +the house before all the servants, but also from the dread that my +letter to the First Lord might be taken from me by force; but I shall +never forget the scowl of vengeance which crossed my uncle's brows, as I +turned round and looked at him as I shut the door. I found my way out +without the assistance of the servants, and hastened home as fast as I +could. + +"O'Brien," said I, on my return, "there is no time to be lost; the +sooner you hasten to town with this letter of introduction, the better +it will be, for depend upon it my uncle will do me all the harm that he +can." I then repeated to him all that had passed, and it was agreed that +O'Brien should take the letter, which, having reference to the bearer, +would do as well for him as for me; and, if O'Brien obtained an +appointment, I was sure not only of being one of his lieutenants, but +also of sailing with a dear friend. The next morning O'Brien set off for +London, and fortunately saw the First Lord the day after his arrival, +which was a levee day. The First Lord received the letter from O'Brien, +and requested him to sit down. He then read it, inquired after his +lordship, asked whether his health was good, &c. + +O'Brien replied, "that with the blessing of God, his lordship might live +many years: that he had never heard him complain of ill health." All +which was not false, if not true. I could not help observing to O'Brien, +when he returned home and told me what had passed, "that I thought, +considering what he had expressed with respect to white lies and black +lies, that he had not latterly adhered to his own creed." + +"That's very true, Peter; and I've thought of it myself, but it is my +creed nevertheless. We all know what's right, but we don't always follow +it. The fact is, I begin to think that it is absolutely necessary to +fight the world with its own weapons. I spoke to Father M'Grath on the +subject, and he replied--'That if anyone, by doing wrong, necessitated +another to do wrong to circumvent him, that the first party was +answerable, not only for his own sin, but also for the sin committed in +self-defence." + +"But, O'Brien, I do not fix my faith so implicitly upon Father M'Grath; +and I do not much admire many of his directions." + +"No more do I, Peter, when I think upon them; but how am I to puzzle my +head upon these points? All I know is, that when you are divided between +your inclination and your duty, it's mighty convenient to have a priest +like Father M'Grath to decide for you, and to look after your soul into +the bargain." + +It occurred to me that I myself, when finding fault with O'Brien, had, +in the instance of both the letters from Lord Privilege, been also +guilty of deceit. I was therefore blaming him for the same fault +committed by myself; and I am afraid that I was too ready in consoling +myself with Father M'Grath's maxim, "that one might do evil that good +might come." But to return to O'Brien's interview. + +After some little conversation, the First Lord said, "Captain O'Brien, I +am always very ready to oblige Lord Privilege, and the more so as his +recommendation is of an officer of your merit. In a day or two, if you +call at the Admiralty, you will hear further." O'Brien wrote to us +immediately, and we waited with impatience for his next letter: but, +instead of the letter, he made his appearance on the third day, and +first hugged me in his arms, he then came to my sister, embraced her, +and skipped and danced about the room. + +"What is the matter, O'Brien?" said I, while Ellen retreated in +confusion. + +O'Brien pulled a parchment out of his pocket. "Here, Peter, my dear +Peter; now for honour and glory. An eighteen-gun brig, Peter. The +_Rattlesnake_--Captain O'Brien--West India station. By the holy father! +my heart's bursting with joy!" and down he sank into an easy chair. +"A'n't I almost beside myself?" inquired he, after a short pause. + +"Ellen thinks so, I dare say," replied I, looking at my sister, who +stood in the corner of the room, thinking O'Brien was really out of his +senses, and still red with confusion. + +O'Brien, who then called to mind what a slip of decorum he had been +guilty of, immediately rose, and resuming his usual unsophisticated +politeness, as he walked up to my sister, took her hand, and said, +"Excuse me, my dear Miss Ellen; I must apologize for my rudeness; but my +delight was so great, and my gratitude to your brother so intense, that +I am afraid that in my warmth I allowed the expression of my feelings to +extend to one so dear to him, and so like him in person and in mind. +Will you only consider that you received the overflowings of a grateful +heart towards your brother, and for his sake pardon my indiscretion?" + +Ellen smiled, and held out her hand to O'Brien, who led her to the sofa, +where we all three sat down: and he then commenced a more intelligible +narrative of what had passed. He had called on the day appointed, and +sent up his card. The First Lord could not see him, but referred him to +the private secretary, who presented him with his commission to the +_Rattlesnake_, eighteen-gun brig. The secretary smiled most graciously, +and told O'Brien in confidence that he would proceed to the West India +station as soon as his vessel was manned and ready for sea. He inquired +of O'Brien whom he wished as his first lieutenant. O'Brien replied that +he wished for me; but as, in all probability, I should not be of +sufficient standing to be first lieutenant, that the Admiralty might +appoint any other to the duty, provided I joined the ship. The secretary +made a minute of O'Brien's wish, and requested him, if he had a vacancy +to spare as midshipman, to allow him to send one on board; to which +O'Brien willingly acceded, shook hands with him, and O'Brien quitted the +Admiralty to hasten down to us with the pleasing intelligence. + +"And now," said O'Brien, "I have made up my mind how to proceed. I shall +first run down to Plymouth and hoist my pennant; then I shall ask for a +fortnight's leave, and go to Ireland to see how they get on, and what +Father M'Grath may be about. So, Peter, let's pass this evening as +happily as we can; for though you and I shall soon meet again, yet it +may be years, or perhaps never, that we three shall sit down on the same +sofa as we do now." + +Ellen, who was still nervous, from the late death of my mother, looked +down, and I perceived the tears start in her eyes at the remark of +O'Brien, that perhaps we should never meet again. And I did pass a happy +evening. I had a dear sister on one side of me, and a sincere friend on +the other. How few situations more enviable! + +O'Brien left us early the next morning; and at breakfast-time a letter +was handed to my father. It was from my uncle, coldly communicating to +him that Lord Privilege had died the night before, very suddenly, and +informing him that the burial would take place on that day week, and +that the will would be opened immediately after the funeral. My father +handed the letter over to me without saying a word, and sipped his tea +with his tea-spoon. I cannot say that I felt very much on the occasion; +but I did feel, because he had been kind to me at one time: as for my +father's feelings, I could not--or rather I should say, I did not wish +to analyze them. As soon as he had finished his cup of tea, he left the +breakfast-table, and went into his study. I then communicated the +intelligence to my sister Ellen. + +"My God!" said she, after a pause, putting her hand up to her eyes; +"what a strange unnatural state of society must we have arrived at, when +my father can thus receive the intelligence of a parent's death! Is it +not dreadful?" + +"It is, my dearest girl," replied I; "but every feeling has been +sacrificed to worldly considerations and an empty name. The younger sons +have been neglected, if not deserted. Virtue, talent, everything set at +naught--intrinsic value despised--and the only claim to consideration +admitted, that of being the heir entail. When all the ties of nature are +cast loose by the parents, can you be surprised if the children are no +longer bound by them? Most truly do you observe, that it is a detestable +state of society." + +"I did not say detestable, brother; I said strange and unnatural." + +"Had you said what I said, Ellen, you would not have been wrong. I would +not for the title and wealth which it brings, be the heartless, +isolated, I may say neglected being that my grandfather was; were it +offered now, I would not barter for it Ellen's love." + +Ellen threw herself in my arms; we then walked into the garden, where we +had a long conversation relative to our future wishes, hopes, and +prospects. + + + + +Chapter XLI + +Pompous obsequies--The reading of the will, not exactly after Wilkie--I +am left a legacy--What becomes of it--My father, very warm, writes a +sermon to cool himself--I join O'Brien's brig, and fall in with +Swinburne. + + +On that day week I accompanied my father to Eagle Park, to assist at the +burial of Lord Privilege. We were ushered into the room where the body +had laid in state for three days. The black hangings, the lofty plumes, +the rich ornaments on the coffin, and the number of wax candles with +which the room was lighted, produced a solemn and grand effect. I could +not help, as I leaned against the balustrade before the coffin and +thought of its contents, calling to mind when my poor grandfather's +feelings seemed, as it were, inclined to thaw in my favour, when he +called me "his child," and, in all probability, had not my uncle had a +son, would have died in my arms, fond and attached to me for my own +sake, independently of worldly considerations. I felt that had I known +him longer, I could have loved him, and that he would have loved me; and +I thought to myself, how little all these empty honours, after his +decease, could compensate for the loss of those reciprocal feelings, +which would have so added to his happiness during his existence. But he +had lived for pomp and vanity; and pomp and vanity attended him to his +grave. I thought of my sister Ellen, and of O'Brien, and walked away +with the conviction that Peter Simple might have been an object of envy +to the late Right Honourable Lord Viscount Privilege, Baron Corston, +Lord Lieutenant of the county, and one of His Majesty's Most Honourable +Privy Councillors. + +When the funeral, which was very tedious and very splendid, was over, we +all returned in the carriages to Eagle Park, when my uncle, who had of +course assumed the title, and who had attended as chief mourner, was in +waiting to receive us. We were shown into the library, and in the chair +so lately and constantly occupied by my grandfather, sat the new lord. +Near to him were the lawyers, with parchments lying before them. As we +severally entered, he waved his hand to unoccupied chairs, intimating to +us to sit down; but no words were exchanged, except an occasional +whisper between him and the lawyers. When all the branches of the family +were present, down to the fourth and fifth cousins, the lawyer on the +right of my uncle put on his spectacles, and unrolling the parchment +commenced reading the will. I paid attention to it at first; but the +legal technicalities puzzled me, and I was soon thinking of other +matters, until after half an hour's reading, I was startled at the sound +of my own name. It was a bequest by codicil to me, of the sum of ten +thousand pounds. My father who sat by me, gave me a slight push, to +attract my attention; and I perceived that his face was not quite so +mournful as before. I was rejoicing at this unexpected intelligence. I +called to mind what my father had said to me when we were returning from +Eagle Park, "that my grandfather's attentions to me were as good as ten +thousand pounds in his will," and was reflecting how strange it was that +he had hit upon the exact sum. I also thought of what my father had said +of his own affairs, and his not having saved anything for his children, +and congratulated myself that I should now be able to support my dear +sister Ellen, in case of any accident happening to my father, when I was +roused by another mention of my name. It was a codicil dated about a +week back, in which my grandfather, not pleased at my conduct, revoked +the former codicil, and left me nothing. I knew where the blow came +from, and I looked my uncle in the face; a gleam of malignant pleasure +was in his eyes, which had been fixed on me, waiting to receive my +glance. I returned it with a smile expressive of scorn and contempt, and +then looked at my father, who appeared to be in a state of misery. His +head had fallen upon his breast, and his hands were clasped. Although I +was shocked at the blow, for I knew how much the money was required, I +felt too proud to show it; indeed, I felt that I would not for worlds +have exchanged situations with my uncle, much less feelings; for when +those who remain meet to ascertain the disposition made, by one who is +summoned away to the tribunal of his Maker, of those worldly and +perishable things which he must leave behind him, feelings of rancour +and ill-will might, for the time, be permitted to subside, and the +memory of a "departed brother" be productive of charity and good-will. +After a little reflection, I felt that I could forgive my uncle. + +Not so my father; the codicil which deprived me of my inheritance, was +the last of the will, and the lawyer rolled up the parchment and took +off his spectacles. Everybody rose; my father seized his hat, and +telling me in a harsh voice to follow him, tore off the crape weepers, +and then threw them on the floor as he walked away. I also took off +mine, and laid them on the table, and followed him. My father called his +carriage, waited in the hall till it was driven up, and jumped into it. +I followed him; he drew up the blind, and desired them to drive home. + +"Not a sixpence! By the God of heaven, not a sixpence! My name not even +mentioned, except for a paltry mourning ring! And yours--pray sir, what +have you been about, after having such a sum left you, to forfeit your +grandfather's good opinion? Heh! sir--tell me directly," continued he, +turning round to me in a rage. + +"Nothing, my dear father, that I'm aware of. My uncle is evidently my +enemy." + +"And why should he be particularly your enemy? Peter, there must be some +reason for his having induced your grandfather to alter his bequest in +your favour. I insist upon it, sir, that you tell me immediately." + +"My dear father, when you are more calm, I will talk this matter over +with you. I hope I shall not be considered wanting in respect, when I +say, that as a clergyman of the church of England--" + +"D--n the church of England, and those that put me into it!" replied my +father, maddened with rage. + +I was shocked, and held my tongue. My father appeared also to be +confused at his hasty expressions. He sank back in his carriage, and +preserved a gloomy silence until we arrived at our own door. As soon as +we entered, my father hastened to his own room, and I went up to my +sister Ellen, who was in her bed room. I revealed to her all that had +passed, and advised with her on the propriety of my communicating to my +father the reasons which had occasioned my uncle's extreme aversion +towards me. After much argument, she agreed with me, that the disclosure +had now become necessary. + +After the dinner-cloth had been removed, I then communicated to my +father the circumstances which had come to our knowledge relative to my +uncle's establishment in Ireland. He heard me very attentively, took out +tablets, and made notes. + +"Well, Peter," said he, after a few minutes' silence, when I had +finished, "I see clearly through this whole business. I have no doubt +but that a child has been substituted to defraud you and me of our just +inheritance of the title and estates; but I will now set to work and try +if I cannot find out the secret; and, with the help of Captain O'Brien +and Father M'Grath, I think it is not at all impossible." + +"O'Brien will do all that he can, sir," replied I; "and I expect soon to +hear from him. He must have now been a week in Ireland." + +"I shall go there myself," replied my father; "and there are no means +that I will not resort to, to discover this infamous plot. No," +exclaimed he, striking his fist on the table, so as to shiver two of the +wine-glasses into fragments--"no means but I will resort to." + +"That is," replied I, "my dear father, no means which may be +legitimately employed by one of your profession." + +"I tell you, no means that can be used by _man_ to recover his defrauded +rights! Tell me not of legitimate means, when I am to lose a title and +property by a spurious and illegitimate substitution! By the God of +heaven, I will meet them with fraud for fraud, with false swearing for +false swearing, and with blood for blood, if it should be necessary! My +brother has dissolved all ties, and I will have my right, even if I +demand it with a pistol at his ear." + +"For Heaven's sake, my dear father, do not be so violent--recollect your +profession." + +"I do," replied he, bitterly; "and how I was forced into it against my +will. I recollect my father's words, the solemn coolness with which he +told me, 'I had my choice of the church, or--to starve.'--But I have my +sermon to prepare for to-morrow, and I can sit here no longer. Tell +Ellen to send me in some tea." + +I did not think my father was in a very fit state of mind to write a +sermon, but I held my tongue. My sister joined me, and we saw no more of +him till breakfast the next day. Before we met, I received a letter from +O'Brien. + + "MY DEAR PETER,--I ran down to Plymouth, hoisted my pennant, drew my + jollies from the dockyard, and set my first lieutenant to work getting + in the ballast and water-tanks. I then set off for Ireland, and was + very well received as Captain O'Brien by my family, who were all + flourishing. + + "Now that my two sisters are so well married off, my father and mother + are very comfortable, but rather lonely; for I believe I told you long + before, that it had pleased Heaven to take all the rest of my brothers + and sisters, except the two now married, and one who bore up for a + nunnery, dedicating her service to God, after she was scarred with the + small-pox, and no man would look at her. Ever since the family have + been grown up, my father and mother have been lamenting and sorrowing + that none of them would go off; and now that they're all gone off one + way or another, they cry all day because they are left all alone with + no one to keep company with them, except Father M'Grath and the pigs. + We never are to be contented in this world, that's sartain; and now + that they are comfortable in every respect, they find that they are + very uncomfortable, and having obtained all their wishes, they wish + everything back again; but as old Maddocks used to say, 'A good growl + is better than a bad dinner' with some people; and the greatest + pleasure that they now have is to grumble; and if that makes them + happy, they must be happy all day long--for the devil a bit do they + leave off from morning till night. + + "The first thing that I did was to send for Father M'Grath, who had + been more away from home than usual--I presume, not finding things + quite so comfortable as they used to be. He told me that he had met + with Father O'Toole, and had a bit of a dialogue with him, which had + ended in a bit of a row, and that he had cudgelled Father O'Toole + well, and tore his gown off his back, and then tore it into shivers,-- + that Father O'Toole had referred the case to the bishop, and that was + how the matter stood just then. 'But,' says he, 'the spalpeen has left + this part of the country, and, what is more, has taken Ella and her + mother with him; and what is still worse, no one could find out where + they were gone; but it was believed that they had all been sent over + the water.' So you see, Peter, that this is a bad job in one point, + which is, that we have no chance of getting the truth out of the old + woman; for now that we have war with France, who is to follow them? On + the other hand, it is good news; for it prevents me from decoying that + poor young girl, and making her believe what will never come to pass; + and I am not a little glad on that score, for Father M'Grath was told + by those who were about her, that she did nothing but weep and moan + for two days before she went away, scolded as she was by her mother, + and threatened by that blackguard O'Toole. It appears to me, that all + our hopes now are in finding out the soldier, and his wife the + wet-nurse, who were sent to India--no doubt with the hope that the + climate and the fevers may carry them off. That uncle of yours is a + great blackguard, every bit of him. I shall leave here in three days, + and you must join me at Plymouth. Make my compliments to your father, + and my regards to your sister, whom may all the saints preserve! God + bless her, for ever and ever. Amen. + + "Yours ever, + + "TERENCE O'BRIEN." + +I put this letter into my father's hands when he came out of his room. +"This is a deep-laid plot," said he, "and I think we must immediately do +as O'Brien states--look after the nurse who was sent to India. Do you +know the regiment to which her husband belongs?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I; "it is the 33rd, and she sailed for India about +three months back." + +"The name, you say, I think, is O'Sullivan," said he, pulling out his +tablets. "Well, I will write immediately to Captain Fielding, and beg +him to make the minutest inquiries. I will also write to your sister +Lucy, for women are much keener than men in affairs of this sort. If the +regiment is ordered to Ceylon, all the better: if not, he must obtain +furlough to prosecute his inquiries. When that is done, I will go myself +to Ireland, and try if we cannot trace the other parties." + +My father then left the room, and I retired with Ellen to make +preparations for joining my ship at Plymouth. A letter announcing my +appointment had come down, and I had written to request my commission to +be forwarded to the clerk of the cheque at Plymouth, that I might save a +useless journey to London. On the following day I parted with my father +and my dear sister, and, without any adventure, arrived at Plymouth +Dock, where I met with O'Brien. The same day I reported myself to the +admiral, and joined my brig, which was lying alongside the hulk with her +topmasts pointed through. Returning from the brig, as I was walking up +Fore-street, I observed a fine stout sailor, whose back was turned to +me, reading the handbill which had been posted up everywhere announcing +that the _Rattlesnake_, Captain O'Brien (about to proceed to the West +India station, where _doubloons_ were so plentiful that dollars were +only used for ballast), was in want of a _few_ stout hands. It might +have been said, of a great many: for we had not entered six men, and +were doing all the work with the marines and riggers of the dockyard; +but it is not the custom to show your poverty in this world either with +regard to men or money. I stopped, and overheard him say, "Ay, as for +the doubloons, that cock won't fight. I've served long enough in the +West Indies not to be humbugged; but I wonder whether Captain O'Brien +was the second lieutenant of the _Sanglier_. If so, I shouldn't mind +trying a cruise with him." I thought that I recollected the voice, and +touching him on the shoulder, he turned round, and it proved to be +Swinburne. "What, Swinburne!" said I, shaking him by the hand, for I was +delighted to see him, "is it you?" + +"Why, Mr Simple! Well, then, I expect that I'm right, and that Mr +O'Brien is made, and commands this craft. When you meet the pilot-fish, +the shark arn't far off, you know." + +"You're very right, Swinburne," said I, "in all except calling Captain +O'Brien a shark. He's no shark." + +"No, that he arn't, except in one way; that is, that I expect he'll soon +show his teeth to the Frenchmen. But I beg your pardon, sir;" and +Swinburne took off his hat. + +"Oh! I understand; you did not perceive before that I had shipped the +swab. Yes, I'm lieutenant of the _Rattlesnake_, Swinburne, and hope +you'll join us." + +"There's my hand upon it, Mr Simple," said he, smacking his great fist +into mine so as to make it tingle. "I'm content if I know that the +captain's a good officer; but when there's two, I think myself lucky. +I'll just take a boat, and put my name on the books, and then I'll be on +shore again to spend the rest of my money, and try if I can't pick up a +few hands as volunteers, for I know where they all be stowed away. I was +looking at the craft this morning, and rather took a fancy to her. She +has a d--d pretty run; but I hope Captain O'Brien will take off her +fiddle-head, and get one carved: I never knew a vessel do much with a +_fiddle_-head." + +"I rather think that Captain O'Brien has already applied to the +Commissioner on the subject," replied I; "at all events, it won't be +very difficult to make the alteration ourselves." + +"To be sure not," replied Swinburne; "a coil of four-inch will make the +body of the snake; I can carve out the head; and as for a _rattle_, I be +blessed if I don't rob one of those beggars of watchmen this very night. +So good-bye, Mr Simple, till we meet again." + +Swinburne kept his word; he joined the ship that afternoon, and the next +day came off with six good hands, who had been induced from his +representations to join the brig. "Tell Captain O'Brien," said he to me, +"not to be in too great a hurry to man his ship. I know where there are +plenty to be had; but I'll try fair means first." This he did, and every +day, almost, he brought off a man, and all he did bring off were good +able seamen. Others volunteered, and we were now more than half-manned, +and ready for sea. The admiral then gave us permission to send +pressgangs on shore. + +"Mr Simple," said Swinburne, "I've tried all I can to persuade a lot of +fine chaps to enter, but they won't. Now I'm resolved that my brig shall +be well manned; and if they don't know what's good for them, I do, and +I'm sure that they will thank me for it afterwards; so I'm determined to +take every mother's son of them." + +The same night we mustered all Swinburne's men and went on shore to a +crimp's house which they knew, surrounded it with our marines in blue +jackets, and took out of it twenty-three fine able seamen, which nearly +filled up our complement. The remainder we obtained by a draft from the +admiral's ship; and I do not believe that there was a vessel that left +Plymouth harbour and anchored in the Sound, better manned than the +_Rattlesnake_. So much for good character, which is never lost upon +seamen O'Brien was universally liked by those who had sailed with him, +and Swinburne, who knew him well persuaded many, and forced the others, +to enter with him, whether they liked it or not. This they in the event +did, and, with the exception of those drafted from the flag-ship, we had +no desertions. Indeed, none deserted whom we would have wished to +retain, and their vacancies were soon filled up with better men. + + + + +Chapter XLII + +We sail for the West Indies--A volunteer for the ship refused and set on +shore again, for reasons which the chapter will satisfactorily explain +to the reader. + + +We were very glad when the master-attendant came on board to take us +into the Sound; and still more glad to perceive that the brig, which had +just been launched before O'Brien was appointed to her, appeared to sail +very fast as she ran out. So it proved after we went to sea; she sailed +wonderfully well, beating every vessel that she met, and overhauling in +a very short time everything that we chased; turning to windward like +magic, and tacking in a moment. Three days after we anchored in the +Sound the ship's company were paid, and our sailing orders came down to +proceed with despatches, by next evening's post, to the island of +Jamaica. We started with a fair wind, and were soon clear of the +channel. Our whole time was now occupied in training our new ship's +company at the guns, and learning them _to pull together;_ and by the +time that we had run down the trades, we were in a very fair state of +discipline. The first lieutenant was rather an odd character; his +brother was a sporting man of large property, and he had contracted, +from his example, a great partiality for such pursuits. He knew the +winning horses of the Derby and the Oaks for twenty years back, was an +adept at all athletic exercises, a capital shot, and had his pointer on +board. In other respects, he was a great dandy in his person, always +wore gloves, even on service, very gentlemanlike and handsome, and not a +very bad sailor; that is, he knew enough to carry on his duty very +creditably, and evidently, now that he was the first lieutenant, and +obliged to work, learnt more of his duty every day. I never met a more +pleasant messmate or a more honourable young man. A brig is only allowed +two lieutenants. The master was a rough, kind-hearted, intelligent young +man, always in good humour. The surgeon and purser completed our mess; +they were men of no character at all, except, perhaps, that the surgeon +was too much of a courtier, and the purser too much of a skin-flint; but +pursers are, generally speaking, more sinned against than sinning. + +But I have been led away, while talking of the brig and the officers, +and had almost forgotten to narrate a circumstance which occurred two +days before we sailed. I was with O'Brien in the cabin, when Mr +Osbaldistone, the first lieutenant, came in, and reported that a boy had +come on board to volunteer for the ship. + +"What sort of a lad is he?" said O'Brien. + +"A very nice lad--very slight, sir," replied the first lieutenant. "We +have two vacancies." + +"Well, see what you make of him; and if you think he will do, you may +put him on the books." + +"I have tried him, sir. He says that he has been a short time at sea. I +made him mount the main-rigging, but he did not much like it." + +"Well, do as you please, Osbaldistone," replied O'Brien; and the first +lieutenant quitted the cabin. + +In about a quarter of an hour he returned. "If you please, sir," said +he, laughing, "I sent the boy down to the surgeon to be examined, and he +refused to strip. The surgeon says that he thinks she is a woman. I have +had her up on the quarter-deck, and she refuses to answer any questions, +and requires to speak with you." + +"With me!" said O'Brien, with surprise. "Oh! one of the men's wives, I +suppose, trying to steal a march upon us. Well, send her down here, +Osbaldistone, and I'll prove to her the moral impossibility of her +sailing in his Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_." + +In a few minutes the first lieutenant sent her down to the cabin door, +and I was about to retire as she entered; but O'Brien stopped me. "Stay, +Peter: my reputation will be at stake if I'm left all alone," said he, +laughing. + +The sentry opened the door, and whether boy or girl, a more interesting +face I never beheld; the hair was cut close, and I could not tell +whether the surgeon's suspicions were correct. + +"You wish to speak--holy St Patrick!" cried O'Brien, looking earnestly +at her features; and O'Brien covered his face and bent over the table, +exclaiming, "My God, my God!" + +In the meantime the colour of the young person fled from her +countenance, and then rushed into it again, alternately leaving it pale +and suffused with blushes. I perceived a trembling over the frame, the +knees shook and knocked together, and had I not hastened, she--for a +female it was--would have fallen on the deck. I perceived that she had +fainted; I therefore laid her down on the deck, and hastened to obtain +some water. O'Brien ran up and went to her. + +"My poor, poor girl!" said he, sorrowfully. "Oh! Peter, this is all your +fault." + +"All my fault! how could she have come here?" + +"By all the saints who pray for us--dearly as I prize them, I would give +up my ship and my commission, that this could be undone." + +As O'Brien hung over her, the tears from his eyes fell upon her face, +while I bathed it with the water I had brought from the dressing-room. I +knew who it must be, although I had never seen her. It was the girl to +whom O'Brien had professed love, to worm out the secret of the exchange +of my uncle's child; and as I beheld the scene I could not help saying +to myself, "Who now will assert that evil may be done that good may +come?" The poor girl showed symptoms of recovering, and O'Brien waved +his hand to me, saying, "Leave us, Peter, and see that no one comes in." + +I remained nearly an hour at the cabin-door, by the sentry, and +prevented many from entering, when O'Brien opened the door, and +requested me to order his gig to be manned and then to come in. The poor +girl had evidently been weeping bitterly, and O'Brien was much affected. + +"All is arranged, Peter; you must go on shore with her, and not leave +her till you see her safe off by the night coach. Do me that favour, +Peter--you ought indeed," continued he, in a low voice, "for you have +been partly the occasion of this." + +I shook O'Brien's hand and made no answer--the boat was reported ready, +and the girl followed me with a firm step. I pulled on shore, saw her +safe in the coach without asking her any question, and then returned on +board. + +"Come on board, sir," said I, entering the cabin with my hat in my hand, +and reporting myself according to the regulations of the service. + +"Thank you," replied O'Brien: "shut the door, Peter. Tell me, how did +she behave? What did she say?" + +"She never spoke, and I never asked her a question. She seemed to be +willing to do as you had arranged." + +"Sit down, Peter. I never felt more unhappy, or more disgusted with +myself in all my life. I feel as if I never could be happy again. A +sailor's life mixes him up with the worst part of the female sex, and we +do not know the real value of the better. I little thought when I was +talking nonsense to that poor girl, that I was breaking one of the +kindest hearts in the world, and sacrificing the happiness of one who +would lay down her existence for me, Peter. Since you have been gone, +it's twenty times that I've looked in the glass just to see whether I +don't look like a villain. But, by the blood of St Patrick! I thought +woman's _love_ was just like our own, and that a three months' cruise +would set all to rights again." + +"I thought she had gone over to France." + +"So did I; but now she has told me all about it. Father M'Dermot[1] and +her mother brought her down to the coast near here to embark in a +smuggling boat for Dieppe. When the boat pulled in-shore in the night to +take them in, the mother and the rascally priest got in, but she felt as +if it was leaving the whole world to leave the country I was in, and she +held back. The officers came down, one or two pistols were fired, and +the boat shoved off without her, and she, with their luggage, was left +on the beach. She went back to the next town with the officers, where +she told the truth of the story, and they let her go. In Father +M'Dermot's luggage she found letters, which she read, and found out that +she and her mother were to have been placed in a convent at Dieppe; and, +as the convent was named in the letters,--which she says are very +important, but I have not had courage to read them yet,--she went to +the people from whose house they had embarked, requesting them to +forward the luggage and a letter to her mother--sending everything but +the letters, which she reserved for me. She has since received a letter +from her mother, telling her that she is safe and well in the convent, +and begging her to come over to her as soon as possible. The mother took +the vows a week after she arrived there, so we know where to find her, +Peter." + +"And where is the poor girl going to stay now, O'Brien?" + +"That's all the worst part of it. It appears that she hoped not to be +found out till after we had sailed, and then to have, as she said, poor +thing! to have laid at my feet and watched over me in the storms; but I +pointed out to her that it was not permitted, and that I would not be +allowed to marry her. O Peter! this is a very sad business," continued +O'Brien, passing his hand across his eyes. + +"Well, but, O'Brien, what is to become of the poor girl?" + +"She is going home to be with my father and mother, hoping one day that +I shall come back and marry her. I have written to Father M'Grath, to +see what he can do." + +"Have you then not undeceived her?" + +"Father M'Grath must do that, I could not. It would have been the death +of her. It would have stabbed her to the heart, and it's not for me to +give that blow. I'd sooner have died--sooner have married her, than have +done it, Peter. Perhaps when I'm far away she'll bear it better. Father +M'Grath will manage it." + +"O'Brien, I don't like that Father M'Grath." + +"Well, Peter, you may be right; I don't exactly like all he says myself; +but what is a man to do?--either he is a Catholic, and believes as a +Catholic, or he is not one. Will I abandon my religion, now that it is +persecuted? Never, Peter: I hope not, without I find a much better, at +all events. Still I do not like to feel that this advice of my confessor +is at variance with my own conscience. Father M'Grath is a worldly man; +but that only proves that he is wrong, not that our religion is--and I +don't mind speaking to you on this subject. No one knows that I'm a +Catholic except yourself: and at the Admiralty they never asked me to +take that oath which I never would have taken, although Father M'Grath +says I may take any oath I please with what he calls heretics, and he +will grant me absolution. Peter, my dear fellow, say no more about it." + +I did not; but I may as well end the history of poor Ella Flanagan at +once, as she will not appear again. About three months afterwards, we +received a letter from Father M'Grath, stating that the girl had arrived +safe, and had been a great comfort to O'Brien's father and mother, who +wished her to remain with them altogether; that Father M'Grath, had told +her that when a man took his commission as captain it was all the same +as going into a monastery as a monk, for he never could marry. The poor +girl believed him, and thinking that O'Brien was lost to her for ever, +with the advice of Father M'Grath, had entered as a nun in one of the +religious houses in Ireland, that, as she said, she might pray for him +night and day. + +Many years afterwards, we heard of her--she was well, and not unhappy; +but O'Brien never forgot his behaviour to this poor girl. It was a +source of continual regret; and I believe, until the last day of his +existence, his heart smote him for his inconsiderate conduct towards +her. But I must leave this distressing topic, and return to the +_Rattlesnake_, which had now arrived at the West Indies, and joined the +Admiral at Jamaica. + +[Footnote 1: The worthy priest formerly called Father O'Toole.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter XLIII + +Description of the Coast of Martinique--Popped at for peeping--No +heroism in making oneself a target--Board a miniature Noah's Ark, under +Yankee colours--Capture a French slaver--Parrot soup in lieu of mock +turtle. + + +We found orders at Barbadoes to cruise off Martinique, to prevent +supplies being furnished to the garrison of the island, and we proceeded +there immediately. I do not know anything more picturesque than running +down the east side of this beautiful island--the ridges of hill +spreading down to the water's edge, covered with the freshest verdure, +divided at the base by small bays, with the beach of dazzling white +sand, and where the little coasting vessels employed to bring the sugar +from the neighbouring estates were riding at anchor. Each hill, at its +adjutment towards the sea, crowned with a fort, on which waved the +tri-colour--certainly, in appearance, one of the most war-like flags in +the world. + +On the third morning we had rounded the Diamond Rock, and were scudding +along the lee-side of the island just opening Fort Royal bay, when +hauling rather too close round its eastern entrance, formed by a +promontory called Solomon's Point, which was covered with brush-wood, we +found ourselves nearer than agreeable to a newly constructed battery. A +column of smoke was poured along the blue water, and it was followed by +the whizzing of a shot, which passed through our boom main sail, first +cutting away the dog-vane, which was close to old Swinburne's head, as +he stood on the carronade, conning the brig. I was at dinner in the +cabin with O'Brien and the first lieutenant. + +"Where the devil have they got the brig now?" said O'Brien, rising from +his chair, and going on deck. + +We both followed; but before we were on deck, three or four more shot +passed between the masts. "If you please, sir," said the master's mate +in charge of the deck, whose name was O'Farrell, "the battery has opened +upon us." + +"Thank you very much for your information, Mr O'Farrell," replied +O'Brien; "but the French have reported it before you. May I ask if +you've any particular fancy to be made a target of, or if you think that +His Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_ was sent here to be riddled for nothing +at all? Starboard the helm, quartermaster." + +The helm was put up, and the brig was soon run out of the fire; not, +however, until a few more shot were pitched close to us, and one carried +away the foretopmast backstay. + +"Now, Mr O'Farrell," replied O'Brien, "I only wish to point out to you +that I trust neither I nor any one in this ship cares a fig about the +whizzing of a shot or two about our ears when there is anything to be +gained for it, either for ourselves or for our country; but I do care a +great deal about losing even the leg or the arm, much more the life of +any of my men, when there's no occasion for it; so, in future, recollect +it's no disgrace to keep out of the way of a battery when all the +advantage is on their side. I've always observed that chance shots pick +out the best men. Lower down the mainsail, and send the sailmakers aft +to repair it." + +When O'Brien returned to the cabin I remained on deck, for it was my +afternoon watch; and although O'Farrell had permission to look out for +me, I did not choose to go down again. The bay of Fort Royal was now +opened, and the view was extremely beautiful. Swinburne was still on the +carronade; and as I knew he had been there before, I applied to him for +information as to the _locale_. He told me the names of the batteries +above the town, pointed out Fort Edward and Negro Point, and +particularly Pigeon Island, the battery at the top of which wore the +appearance of a mural crown. + +"It's well I remember that place, Mr Simple," said he. "It was in '94 +when I was last here. The sodgers had 'sieged it for a whole month, and +were about to give it up, 'cause they couldn't get a gun up on that 'ere +hill you see there. So poor Captain Faulkner says, 'There's many a clear +head under a tarpaulin hat, and I'll give any chap five doubloons that +will hitch up a twenty-four pounder to the top of that hill.' Not quite +so easy a matter, as you may perceive from here, Mr Simple." + +"It certainly appears to me to have been almost impossible, Swinburne," +replied I. + +"And so it did to most of us, Mr Simple; but there was one Dick Smith, +mate of a transport, who had come on shore, and he steps out, saying, +'I've been looking at your men handling that gun, and my opinion is, +that if you gets a butt, crams in a carronade, well woulded up, and fill +it with old junk and rope yarns, you might parbuckle it up to the very +top.' So Captain Faulkner pulls out five doubloons, and gives them to +him, saying, 'You deserve the money for the hint, even if it don't +succeed.' But it did succeed, Mr Simple; and the next day, to their +surprise, we opened fire on the French beggars, and soon brought their +boasting down. One of the French officers, after he was taken prisoner, +axed me how we had managed to get the gun up there; but I wasn't going +to blow the gaff, so I told him, as a great secret, that we got it up +with a kite, upon which he opened all his eyes, and crying '_sacre +bleu!_' walked away, believing all I said was true; but a'n't that a +sail we have opened with the point, Mr Simple?" + +It was so, and I reported it to O'Brien, who came up and gave chase. In +half an hour we were alongside of her, when she hoisted American +colours, and proved to be a brigantine laden up to her gunwale, which +was not above a foot out of the water. Her cargo consisted of what the +Americans called _notions_; that is, in English, an assorted cargo. +Half-way up her masts down to the deck were hung up baskets containing +apples, potatoes, onions, and nuts of various kinds. Her deck was +crowded with cattle, sheep, pigs, and donkeys. Below was full of +shingle, lumber, and a variety of different articles too numerous to +mention. I boarded her, and asked the master whither he was bound? + +"Why," replied he, "I am bound for a market--nowise particular; and I +guess you won't stop me." + +"Not if all's right," replied I; "but I must look at your log." + +"Well, I've a notion there's no great objection to that," replied he; +and he brought it up on deck. + +I had no great time to examine it, but I could not help being amused at +the little I did read, such as--"Horse latitudes--water very short-- +killed white-faced bullock--caught a dolphin, and ate him for dinner-- +broached molasses cask No. I, letter A. Fine night--saw little round +things floating on the water--took up a bucket full--guessed they were +pearls--judge I guessed wrong, only little Portuguese men-of-war--threw +them overboard again--heard a scream, guessed it was a mermaid--looked +out, saw nothing. Witnessed a very strange rippling ahead--calculated it +might be the sea-serpent--stood on to see him plain, and nearly ran on +Barbuda. Hauled off again--met a Britisher--treated _politely_." + +Having overhauled his log, I then begged to overhaul his men to +ascertain if there were any Englishmen among his crew. This was not +pleasing, and he grumbled very much; but they were ordered aft. One man +I was satisfied was an Englishman, and told him so; but the man as well +as the master persisted to the contrary. Nevertheless, I resolved to +take him on board for O'Brien to decide, and ordered him into the boat. + +"Well, if you will use force, I can't help it. My decks an't clear as +you see, or else--I tell you what, Mr Lieutenant, your vessel there will +be another _Hermione_, I've a notion, if you presses true-blooded +Yankees; and, what's more, the States will take it up, as sure as +there's snakes in Virginny." + +Notwithstanding this remonstrance, I took them on board to O'Brien, who +had a long conversation with the American in the cabin. When they +returned on deck he was allowed to depart with his man, and we again +made sail. I had the first watch that night, and as we ran along the +coast I perceived a vessel under the high land in what the sailors +called the _doldrums_; that is, almost becalmed, or her sails flapping +about in every direction with the eddying winds. We steered for her, and +were very soon in the same situation, not more than a quarter of a mile +from her. The quarter-boat was lowered down, and I proceeded to board +her; but as she was large and rakish, O'Brien desired me to be careful, +and if there was the least show of resistance to return. As I pulled up +to her bows they hailed me in French, and desired me to keep off, or +they would fire. This was quite sufficient; and, in obedience to my +orders, I returned to the brig and reported to O'Brien. We lowered down +all the quarter-boats, and towed round the brig's broadside to her, and +then gave her half a dozen carronades of round and grape. Hearing great +noise and confusion on board after we had ceased firing, O'Brien again +sent me to know if they had surrendered. They replied in the +affirmative, and I boarded her. She proved to be the _Commerce de +Bordeaux_, with three hundred and thirty slaves on board, out of five +hundred embarked from the coast, bound to Martinique. The crew were very +sickly, and were most of them in their hammocks. Latterly, they had been +killing parrots to make soup for them; a few that were left, of the grey +species, spoke remarkably well. When they left the coast they had nearly +one thousand parrots on board. + +O'Brien perceiving that I had taken possession, sent another boat to +know what the vessel was. I desired the surgeon to be sent on board, as +some of the men and many of the poor slaves were wounded by our shot. Of +all the miserable objects, I know of none to be compared to the poor +devils of slaves on board of a slave vessel: the state of suffocation +between decks--the dreadful stench arising from their filth, which is +hardly ever cleared away--the sick lying without help, and looked upon +by those who are stronger with the utmost indifference--men, women, and +children, all huddled and crowded together in a state of nudity, worn to +skin and bone from stench, starvation, and living in an atmosphere that +none but a negro could exist in. If all that occurs in a slave-ship were +really known, I think it would be acknowledged that to make the +slave-trade piracy would be nothing more than a just retribution; and +this is certain, that unless it be made piracy, it never will be +discontinued. + +By daylight the vessel was ready, and O'Brien determined to take her to +Dominica, so that the poor devils might be immediately sent on shore. We +anchored with her, in a few days, in Prince Rupert's Bay, where we only +had twenty-four hours to obtain some refreshments and arrange about our +prize, which I hardly need say was of some value. + +During the short time that I was on shore, purchasing some fowls and +vegetables for O'Brien and our own mess, I was amused at witnessing a +black serjeant drilling some of his regiment of free negroes and +mulattoes. He appeared resolved to make the best appearance that he +could, for he began by saying, "You hab shoe and 'tocking, stand in +front--you hab shoe no 'tocking, stand in centre--you hab no shoe no +'tocking, stand in um rear. Face to mountain--back to sea-beach. Why you +no 'tep out, sar?--you hangman!" + +I was curious to count the numbers qualified for the front rank: there +were only two mulattoes. In the second rank there were also only two. No +shoe and no 'tocking appeared to be the fashion. As usual, we were +surrounded by the negroes; and although we had been there but a few +hours, they had a song composed for us, which they constantly +repeated:-- + + "Don't you see the _Rattlesnake_ + Coming under sail? + Don't you see the _Rattlesnake_ + With prizes at um tail?--' +_Rattlesnake_ hab all the money--ding, ding-- +She shall have all that's funny, ding, ding!" + + + + +Chapter XLIV + +Money can purchase anything in the new country--American information not +always to be depended upon--A night attack; we are beaten off--It proves +a _cut up_, instead of a _cut out_--After all, we save something out of +the fire. + + +The next morning we weighed anchor, and returned to our station off +Martinique. We had run within three miles of St Pierre's when we +discovered a vessel coming out under jury-masts. She steered directly +for us, and we made her out to be the American brigantine which we had +boarded some time before. O'Brien sent a boat to bring the master of her +on board. + +"Well, captain," said he, "so you met with a squall?" + +"I calculate not," replied he. + +"Why, then, what the devil have you been about?" + +"Why, I guess I sold all my cargo, and, what's more, I've sold my +masts." + +"Sold your masts! who did you sell them to?" + +"To an almighty pretty French privateer lying in St Pierre's, which had +lost her spars when she was chased by one of your brass-bottomed +sarpents; and I've a notion they paid pretty handsomely too." + +"But how do you mean to get home again?" + +"I calculate to get into the _stream_, and then I'll do very well. If I +meet a nor-wester, why then I'll make a signal of distress, and some one +will tow me in, I guess." + +"Well," replied O'Brien, "but step down into the cabin and take +something, captain." + +"With particular pleasure," replied this strange mortal; and down they +went. + +In about half an hour they returned on deck, and the boat took the +American on board. Soon afterwards, O'Brien desired Osbaldistone and +myself to step down into the cabin. The chart of the harbour of St +Pierre's lay on the table, and O'Brien said, "I have had a long +conversation with the American, and he states that the privateer is at +anchor in this spot" (pointing to a pencil-mark on the chart). "If so, +she is well out; and I see no difficulty in capturing her. You see that +she lays in four fathoms water, and so close under the outer battery, +that the guns could not be pointed down upon the boats. I have also +inquired if they keep a good look-out, and the American says that they +feel so secure that they keep no look-out at all; that the captain and +officers belonging to her are on shore all night, drinking, smoking, and +boasting of what they will do. Now the question is, whether this report +be correct. The American has been well-treated by us, and I see no +reason to doubt him; indeed, he gave the information voluntarily, as if +he wished to serve us." + +I allowed Osbaldistone to speak first: he coincided with O'Brien. I did +not: the very circumstance of her requiring new masts made me doubt the +truth of his assertion as to where she lay; and if one part of his story +was false, why not the whole? O'Brien appeared struck with my argument, +and it was agreed that if the boats did go away, it should be for a +reconnoissance, and that the attempt should only be made, provided it +was found that the privateer laid in the same spot pointed out by the +American master. It was, however, decided that the reconnoissance should +take place that very night, as, allowing the privateer to be anchored on +the spot supposed, there was every probability that she would not remain +there, but haul further in, to take in her new masts. The news that an +expedition was at hand was soon circulated through the ship, and all the +men had taken their cutlasses from the capstern to get them ready for +action. The lighting boats' crews, without orders, were busy with their +boats, some cutting up old blankets to muffle the oars, other making new +grummets. The ship's company were as busy as bees, bustling and buzzing +about the decks, and reminding you of the agitation which takes place in +a hive previous to a swarm. At last, Osbaldistone came on deck, and +ordered the boats' crews to be piped away, and prepare for service. He +was to have the command of the expedition in the launch--I had charge of +the first cutter--O'Farrell of the second, and Swinburne had the charge +of the jolly-boat. At dusk, the head of the brig was again turned +towards St Pierre's, and we ran slowly in. At ten we hove-to, and about +eleven the boats were ordered to haul up, O'Brien repeating his orders +to Mr Osbaldistone, not to make the attempt if the privateer were found +to be anchored close to the town. The men were all mustered on the +quarter-deck, to ascertain if they had the distinguishing mark on their +jackets, that is, square patches of canvas sewed on the left arm, so +that we might recognize friend from foe--a very necessary precaution in +a night expedition; and then they were manned, and ordered to shove off. +The oars were dropped in the water, throwing out a phosphorescent light, +so common in that climate, and away we went. After an hour's pulling, +Osbaldistone lay on his oars in the launch, and we closed with him. + +"We are now at the mouth of the harbour," said he, "and the most perfect +silence must be observed." + +"At the mouth of the harbour, sir!" said Swinburne; "I reckon we are +more than half way in; we passed the point at least ten minutes ago, and +this is the second battery we are now abreast of." + +To this Osbaldistone did not agree, nor indeed did I think that +Swinburne was right; but he persisted in it, and pointed out to us the +lights in the town, which were now all open to us, and which would not +be the case if we were only at the mouth of the harbour. Still we were +of a different opinion, and Swinburne, out of respect to his officers, +said no more. + +We resumed our oars, pulling with the greatest caution; the night was +intensely dark, and we could distinguish nothing. After pulling ten +minutes more, we appeared to be close to the lights in the town; still +we could see no privateer or any other vessel. Again we lay upon our +oars, and held a consultation. Swinburne declared that if the privateer +laid where we supposed, we had passed her long ago; but while we were +debating, O'Farrell cried out, "I see her," and he was right--she was +not more than a cable's length from us. Without waiting for orders, +O'Farrell desired his men to give way, and dashed alongside of the +privateer. Before he was half-way on board of her, lights flew about in +every direction, and a dozen muskets were discharged. We had nothing to +do but to follow him, and in a few seconds we were all alongside of her; +but she was well prepared, and on the alert. Boarding nettings were +triced up all round, every gun had been depressed as much as possible, +and she appeared to be full of men. A scene of confusion and slaughter +now occurred, which I trust never again to witness. All our attempts to +get on board were unavailing; if we tried at a port, a dozen pikes +thrust us back; if we attempted the boarding nettings, we were thrown +down, killed or wounded, into the boats. From every port, and from the +decks of the privateer, the discharge of musketry was incessant. Pistols +were protruded and fired in our faces, while occasionally her carronades +went off, stunning us with their deafening noise, and rocking the boats +in the disturbed water, if they had no other effect. For ten minutes our +exertions never ceased; at last, with half our numbers lying killed and +wounded in the bottom of the boats, the men, worn out and dispirited at +their unavailing attempts, sat down most of them on the boats' thwarts, +loading their muskets, and discharging them into the ports. Osbaldistone +was among the wounded; and perceiving that he was not in the launch, of +whose crew not six remained, I called to Swinburne, who was alongside of +me, and desired him to tell the other boats to make the best of their +way out of the harbour. This was soon communicated to the survivors, who +would have continued the unequal contest to the last man, if I had not +given the order. The launch and second cutter shoved off--O'Farrell also +having fallen; and, as soon as they were clear of the privateer, and had +got their oars to pass, I proceeded to do the same, amidst the shouts +and yells of the Frenchmen, who now jumped on their gunwale and pelted +us with their musketry, cheering, and mocking us. + +"Stop, sir," cried Swinburne, "we'll have a bit of revenge;" so saying, +he hauled-to the launch, and wending her bow to the privateer, directed +her carronade--which they had no idea that we had on board, as we had +not fired it--to where the Frenchmen were crowded the thickest. + +"Stop one moment, Swinburne; put another dose of canister in." We did +so, and then discharged the gun, which had the most murderous effect, +bringing the major part of them down upon the deck. I feel convinced, +from the cries and groans which followed, that if we had had a few more +men, we might have returned and captured the privateer; but it was too +late. The batteries were all lighted up, and although they could not see +the boats, fired in the direction where they supposed us to be; for they +were aware, from the shouting on board the vessel, that we had been +beaten off. The launch had but six hands capable of taking an oar; the +first cutter had but four. In my own boat I had five. Swinburne had two +besides himself in the jolly-boat. + +"This is a sorry business, sir," said Swinburne; "now, what's best to be +done? My idea is, that we had better put all the wounded men into the +launch, man the two cutters and jolly-boat, and tow her off. And, Mr +Simple, instead of keeping on this side, as they will expect in the +batteries, let us keep close in-shore, upon the near side, and their +shot will pass over us." + +This advice was too good not to be followed. It was now two o'clock, and +we had a long pull before us, and no time to lose: we lifted the dead +bodies and the wounded men out of the two cutters and jolly-boat into +the launch. I had no time for examination, but I perceived that +O'Farrell was quite dead, and also a youngster of the name of Pepper, +who must have smuggled himself into the boats. I did, however, look for +Osbaldistone, and found him in the stern sheets of the launch. He had +received a deep wound in the breast, apparently with a pike. He was +sensible, and asked me for a little water, which I procured from the +breaker which was in the launch, and gave it to him. At the word water, +and hearing it poured out from the breaker, many of the wounded men +faintly called out for some. Having no time to spare, I left two men in +the launch, one to steer and the other to give them water, and then +taking her in tow, pulled directly in for the batteries, as advised by +Swinburne, who now sat alongside of me. + +As soon as we were well in-shore, I pulled out of the harbour, with +feelings not by any means enviable. Swinburne said to me in a low voice, +"This will be a hard blow for the captain, Mr Simple. I've always been +told, that a young captain losing his men without bringing any dollars +to his admiral, is not very well received." + +"I am more sorry for him than I can well express, Swinburne," replied I; +"but--what is that a-head--a vessel under weigh?" + +Swinburne stood up in the stern of the cutter, and looked for a few +seconds. "Yes, a large ship standing in under royals--she must be a +Frenchman. Now's our time, sir; so long as we don't go out empty-handed, +all will be well. Oars, all of you. Shall we cast off the launch, sir?" + +"Yes," replied I; "and now, my lads, let us only have the vessel, and we +shall do. She is a merchantman, that's clear (not that I was sure of +it). Swinburne, I think it will be better to let her pass us in-shore; +they will all be looking out of the other side, for they must have seen +the firing." + +"Well thought of, sir," replied Swinburne. + +We laid on our oars, and let her pass us, which she did, creeping in at +the rate of two miles an hour. We then pulled for her quarter in the +three boats, leaving the launch behind us, and boarded. As we premised, +the crew were on deck, and all on the other side of the vessel, so +anxiously looking at the batteries, which were still firing occasional +random shot, that they did not perceive us until we were close to them, +and then they had no time to seize their arms. There were several ladies +on board; some of the people protected them, others ran below. In two +minutes we had possession of her, and had put her head the other way. To +our surprise we found that she mounted fourteen guns. One hatch we left +open for the ladies, some of whom had fainted, to be taken down below; +the others were fastened down by Swinburne. As soon as we had the deck +to ourselves, we manned one of the cutters, and sent it for the launch; +and as soon as she was made fast alongside, we had time to look about +us. The breeze freshened, and, in half an hour, we were out of gun-shot +of all the batteries. I then had the wounded men taken out of the +launch, and Swinburne and the other men bound up their wounds, and made +them as comfortable as they could. + + + + +Chapter XLV + +Some remarkable occurrences take place in the letter of marque--Old +friends with improved faces--The captor a captive; but not carried away, +though the captive is, by the ship's boat--The whole chapter a mixture +of love, war, and merchandise. + + +We had had possession of the vessel about an hour, when the man who was +sentry over the hatchway told me that one or the prisoners wished to +speak with the English commanding officer, and asked leave to come on +deck. I gave permission, and a gentleman came up, stating that he was a +passenger; that the ship was a letter of marque, from Bordeaux; that +there were seven lady passengers on board, who had come out to join +their husbands and families; and that he trusted I would have no +objection to put them on shore, as women could hardly be considered as +objects of warfare. As I knew that O'Brien would have done so, and that +he would be glad to get rid of both women and prisoners if he could, I +replied "Most certainly;" that I would heave-to, that they might not +have so far to pull on shore, and that I would permit the ladies and +other passengers to go on shore. I begged that they would be as quick as +possible in getting their packages ready, and that I would give them two +of the boats belonging to the ship, with a sufficient number of French +seamen belonging to her to man the boats. The Frenchman was very +grateful, thanked me in the name of the ladies, and went down below to +impart the intelligence. I then hove-to, lowered down the boats from the +quarters, and waited for them to come up. It was daylight before they +were ready, but that I did not care about; I saw the brig in the offing +about seven miles off, and I was well clear of the batteries. At last +they made their appearance, one by one coming up the ladder, escorted by +French gentlemen. They had to wait while the packages and bundles were +put into the boats. The first sight which struck them with horror was +the many dead and wounded Englishmen lying on the decks. Expressing +their commiseration, I told them that we had attempted to take the +privateer, and had been repulsed, and that it was coming out of the +harbour that I had fallen in with their ship and captured it. All the +ladies had severally thanked me for my kindness in giving them their +liberty, except one, whose eyes were fixed upon the wounded men, when +the French gentleman went up to her, and reminded her that she had not +expressed her thanks to the commanding officer. + +She turned round to me--I started back. I certainly had seen that face +before--I could not be mistaken; yet she had now grown up into a +beautiful young woman. "Celeste," said I, trembling. "Are you not +Celeste?" + +"Yes," replied she, looking earnestly at me, as if she would discover +who I was, but which it was not very easy to do, begrimed as my face was +with dust and gunpowder. + +"Have you forgotten Peter Simple?" + +"Oh! no--no--never forgot you!" cried Celeste, bursting into tears, and +holding out her hands. + +This scene occasioned no small astonishment to the parties on deck, who +could not comprehend it. She smiled through her tears, as I told her how +happy I was to have the means of being of service to her. "And where is +the colonel?" said I. + +"There," replied she, pointing to the island; "he is now general, and +commands the force in the garrison. And where is Mr O'Brien?" +interrogated Celeste. + +"There," replied I; "he commands that man-of-war, of which I am the +second lieutenant." + +A rapid exchange of inquiries took place, and the boats were stopped +while we were in conversation. Swinburne reported that the brig was +standing in for us, and I felt that in justice to the wounded I could no +longer delay. Still I found time to press her hand, to thank her for the +purse she had given me when I was on the stilts, and to tell her that I +had never forgotten her, and never would. With many remembrances to her +father, I was handing her into the boat, when she said, "I don't know +whether I am right to ask it, but you could do me such a favour." + +"What is it, Celeste?" + +"You have allowed more than one-half of the men to pull us on shore; +some must remain, and they are so miserable--indeed it is hardly yet +decided which of them are to go. Could you let them all go?" + +"That I will, for your sake, Celeste. As soon as your two boats have +shoved off, I will lower down the boat astern, and send the rest after +you; but I must make sail now--God bless you!" + +The boats then shoved off, the passengers waving their handkerchiefs to +us, and I made sail for the brig. As soon as the stern-boat was +alongside, the rest of the crew were called up and put into her, and +followed their companions. I felt that O'Brien would not be angry with +me for letting them all go: and especially when I told him who begged +for them. The vessel's name was the _Victorine_, mounting fourteen guns, +and twenty-four men, with eleven passengers. She was chiefly laden with +silks and wine, and was a very valuable prize. Celeste had time to tell +me that her father had been four years in Martinique, and had left her +at home for her education; and that she was then coming out to join him. +The other ladies were all wives or daughters of officers of the French +garrison on the island, and the gentlemen passengers were some of them +French officers; but as this was told me in secrecy, of course I was not +bound to know it, as they were not in uniform. + +As soon as we had closed with the brig, I hastened on board to O'Brien; +and as soon as a fresh supply of hands to man the boats, and the surgeon +had been despatched on board of the prize, to superintend the removal of +the wounded, I went down with him into the cabin, and narrated what had +occurred. + +"Well," said O'Brien, "all's well that ends well; but this is not the +luckiest hit in the world. Your taking the ship has saved me, Peter; and +I must make as flourishing a despatch as I can. By the powers but it's +very lucky that she has fourteen guns--it sounds grand. I must muddle it +all up together, so that the admiral must think we intended to cut them +both out--and so we did, sure enough, if we had known she had been +there. But I am most anxious to hear the surgeon's report, and whether +poor Osbaldistone will do well. Peter, oblige me by going on board, and +put two marines sentry over the hatchway, so that no one goes down and +pulls the traps about; for I'll send on shore everything belonging to +the passengers, for Colonel O'Brien's sake." + +The surgeon's report was made--six killed and sixteen wounded. The +killed were, O'Farren and Pepper, midshipmen, two seamen and two +marines. The first lieutenant, Osbaldistone, was severely wounded in +three places, but likely to do well; five other men were dangerously +wounded: the other ten would, in all probability, return to their duty +in less than a month. As soon as the wounded were on board, O'Brien +returned with me to the prize, and we went down into the cabin. All the +passengers' effects were collected; the trunks which had been left open +were nailed down: and O'Brien wrote a handsome letter to General +O'Brien, containing a list of the packages sent on shore. We sent the +launch with a flag of truce to the nearest battery; after some demur it +was accepted, and effects landed. We did not wait for an answer, but +made all sail to join the admiral at Barbadoes. + +The next morning we buried those who had fallen. O'Farrell was a fine +young man, brave as a lion, but very hot in his temper. He would have +made a good officer had he been spared. Poor little Pepper was also much +regretted. He was but twelve years old. He had bribed the bowman of the +second cutter to allow him to conceal himself under the fore-sheets of +the boat. His day's allowance of spirits had purchased him this object +of his ambition, which ended so fatally. But as soon as the bodies had +disappeared under the wave, and the service was over, we all felt +happier. There is something very unpleasant, particularly to sailors, in +having a corpse on board. + +We now sailed merrily along, the prize keeping company with us; and, +before we reached Barbadoes, most of the men were convalescent. +Osbaldistone's wounds, were, however, very severe; and he was +recommended to return home, which he did, and obtained his promotion as +soon as he arrived. He was a pleasant messmate, and I was sorry to lose +him; although, the lieutenant appointed in his room being junior to me, +I was promoted to be first lieutenant of the brig. Soon after +Osbaldistone went home, his brother broke his neck when hunting, and +Osbaldistone came into the property. He then quitted the service. + +We found the admiral at Barbadoes, who received O'Brien and his despatch +very well. O'Brien had taken two good prizes, and that was sufficient to +cover a multitude of sins, even if he had committed any; but the +despatch was admirably written, and the admiral, in his letter to the +Admiralty, commented upon Captain O'Brien's successful and daring +attack; whereas, if the truth had been known, it was Swinburne's advice +of pulling up the weather shore, which was the occasion of our capturing +the _Victorine_; but it is very hard to come at the real truth of these +sort of things, as I found out during the time that I was in His +Majesty's service. + + + + +Chapter XLVI + +O'Brien tells his crew that one Englishman is as good as three Frenchmen +on salt water--They prove it--We fall in with an old acquaintance, +although she could not be considered as a friend. + + +Our next cruise was on the coast of Guinea and Gulf of Mexico, where we +were running up and down for three months, without falling in with +anything but West Indiamen bound to Demerara, Berbice, and Surinam, and +occasionally chasing a privateer; but in the light winds they were too +fast for us. Still we were useful in protecting the trade, and O'Brien +had a letter of thanks from the merchants, and a handsome piece of plate +upon his quitting the station. We had made sail for Barbadoes two days, +and were within sight of the island of Trinidad, when we perceived six +sail on the lee-bow. We soon made them out to be three large ships and +three schooners; and immediately guessed, which afterwards proved to be +correct, that they were three privateers, with West India ships which +they had captured. We made all sail, and at first the three privateers +did the same; but afterwards, having made out our force, and not liking +to abandon their prizes, they resolved to fight. The West Indiamen +hauled to the wind on the other tack, and the three privateers shortened +sail and awaited our coming. We beat to quarters, and when everything +was ready, and we were within a mile of the enemy, who had now thrown +out the tri-coloured flag, O'Brien ordered all the men aft on the +quarter-deck, and addressed them: "Now, my men, you see that there are +three privateers, and you also see that there are three West Indiamen, +which they have captured. As for the privateers, it's just a fair match +for you one Englishman can always beat three Frenchmen. We must lick the +privateers for honour and glory, and we must re-capture the ships for +profit, because you'll all want some money when you get on shore again. +So you've just half-a-dozen things to do, and then we'll pipe to +dinner." + +This harangue suited the sailors very well, and they returned to their +guns. "Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "just call away the sail-trimmers from +the guns, for I mean to fight these fellows under sail, and +out-manoeuvre them, if I can. Tell Mr Webster I want to speak with him." + +Mr Webster was the second lieutenant, a very steady, quiet young man, +and a good officer. + +"Mr Webster," said O'Brien, "remember that all the foremost guns must be +very much depressed. I prefer that the shot should strike the water +before it reaches them, rather than it should go over them. See that +your screws are run up at once, and I will take care that no broadside +is thrown away. Starboard, Swinburne." + +"Starboard it is, sir." + +"Steady; so--that's right for the stern of the leeward vessel." + +We were within two cable lengths of the privateers, who still remained +hove-to within half a cable's length of each other. They were very large +schooners, full of men, with their boarding netting triced up, and +showing a very good set of teeth: as it afterwards proved, one mounted +sixteen, and the other two fourteen, guns. + +"Now, my lads, over to the lee guns, and fire as they bear, when we +round to. Hands by the lee head-braces, and jib-sheet, stretch along the +weather braces. Quarter-master abaft, tend the boom-sheet. Port hard, +Swinburne." + +"Port it is, sir," replied Swinburne; and the brig rounded up on the +wind, shooting up under the sterns of the two weathermost schooners, and +discharging the broadsides into them as the guns bore. + +"Be smart and load, my lads, and stand by the same guns. Round in the +weather head-braces. Peter, I don't want her to go about. Stand by to +haul over the boom-sheet, when she pays off. Swinburne, helm amidships." + +By this time another broadside was poured into the schooner, who had not +yet returned our fire, which, having foolishly remained hove to the +wind, they could not do. The brig had now stern way, and O'Brien then +executed a very skilful manoeuvre: he shifted the helm, and made a stern +board, so as to back in between the two weather schooners and the one to +leeward, bracing round at the same time on the other tack. + +"Man both sides, my lads, and give them your broadsides as we pass." + +The men stationed at the starboard guns flew over, and the other side +being again loaded, we exchanged broadsides with the leeward and one of +the windward schooners, the brig continuing her stern way until we +passed ahead of them. By the time that we had re-loaded, the brig had +gathered headway, and again passed between the same two schooners, +exchanging broadsides, and then passing astern of them. + +"Capital, my lads--capital!" said O'Brien; "this is what I call good +fighting." And so it was; for O'Brien had given two raking broadsides, +and four others, receiving only two in return, for the schooners were +not ready for us when we passed between them the last time. + +The smoke had now rolled away to leeward, and we were able to see the +effect of our broadsides. The middle schooner had lost her main-boom, +and appeared very much cut up in the hull. The schooner to leeward did +not appear to have suffered much; but they now perceived their error, +and made sail. They had expected that we should have run in between +them, and fought broadside to broadside, by which means the weathermost +schooner would have taken a raking position, while the others engaged us +to windward and to leeward. Our own damages were trifling--two men +slightly wounded, and one main shroud cut away. We ran about half a mile +astern from them; then with both broadsides ready, we tacked, and found +that, as we expected, we could weather the whole of them. This we did; +O'Brien running the brig within biscuit-throw of the weather schooner, +engaging him broadside to broadside, with the advantage that the other +two could not fire a shot into us without standing a chance of striking +their consort. If he made more sail, so did we; if he shortened, so did +we; so as to keep our position with little variation. The schooner +fought well; but her metal was not to be compared with our thirty-two +pound carronades, which ploughed up her sides at so short a distance, +driving two ports into one. At last her foremast went by the board, and +she dropped astern. In the meantime the other schooners had both tacked, +and were coming up under our stern to rake us, but the accident which +happened to the one we had engaged left us at liberty. We knew that she +could not escape, so we tacked and engaged the other two, nearing them +as fast as we could. The breeze now sprang up fast, and O'Brien put up +the helm and passed between them, giving them both a raking broadside of +grape and cannister, which brought the sticks about their ears. This +sickened them; the smallest schooner, which had been the leewardmost at +the commencement of the action, made all sail on a wind. We clapped on +the royals to follow her, when we perceived that the other schooner, +which had been in the middle, and whose main-boom we had shot away, had +put her helm up, and was crowding all sail before the wind. O'Brien then +said, "Must not try for too much, or we shall lose all. Put her about, +Peter, we must be content with the one that is left us." + +We went about, and ranged up to the schooner which had lost her +foremast; but she, finding that her consort had deserted her, hauled +down her colours just as we were about to pour in our broadside. Our men +gave three cheers; and it was pleasant to see them all shaking hands +with each other, congratulating and laughing at the successful result of +our action. + +"Now, my lads, be smart;--we've done enough for honour, now for profit. +Peter, take the two cutters full of men, and go on board of the +schooner, while I get hold of the three West Indiamen. Rig something +jury forward, and follow me." + +In a minute the cutters were down and full of men. I took possession of +the schooner, while the brig again tacked, and crowding all sail stood +after the captured vessels. The schooner, which was the largest of the +three, was called the _Jean d' Arc_, mounting sixteen guns, and had +fifty-three men on board, the remainder being away in the prizes. The +captain was wounded very badly, and one officer killed. Out of her +ship's company, she had but eight killed and five wounded. They informed +me, that they had sailed three months ago from St Pierre's, Martinique, +and had fallen in with the other two privateers, and cruised in company, +having taken nine West Indiamen since they had come out. "Pray," said I +to the officer who gave the information, "were you ever attacked by +boats when you laid at St Pierre's?" He replied, yes; and that they had +beaten them off. "Did you purchase these masts of an American?" He +replied in the affirmative; so that we had captured the very vessel, in +attempting to cut out which, we had lost so many men. + +We were all very glad of this, and Swinburne said, "Well, hang me if I +didn't think that I had seen that port-hole before; there it was that I +wrenched a pike out of one of the rascal's hands, who tried to stab me, +and into that port-hole I fired at least a dozen muskets. Well, I'm +d----d glad we've got hold of the beggar at last." + +We secured the prisoners below, and commenced putting the schooner in +order. In half an hour, we had completed our knotting and splicing, and +having two of the carpenters with us, in an hour we had got up a small +jury mast forward, sufficient for the present. We lowered the mainsail, +put try-sails on her, and stood after the brig, which was now close to +the prizes; but they separated, and it was not till dark that she had +possession of two. The third was then hull down on the other tack, with +the brig in chase. We followed the brig, as did the two re-captured +vessels, and even with our jury up, we found that we could sail as fast +as they. The next morning, we saw the brig hove-to, and about three +miles a-head, with the three vessels in her possession. We closed, and I +went on board. Webster was put in charge of the privateer; and, after +lying-to for that day to send our prize-masters and men on board to +remove the prisoners, we got up a proper jury-mast, and all made sail +together for Barbadoes. On my return on board, I found that we had but +one man and one boy killed and six wounded, which I was not aware of. I +forgot to say that the names of the other two privateers were _L'Etoile_ +and _La Madeleine_. + +In a fortnight we arrived with all our prizes safe in Carlisle Bay, +where we found the admiral, who had anchored but two days before. I +hardly need say that O'Brien was well received, and gained a great deal +of credit for the action. I found several letters from my sister, the +contents of which gave me much pain. My father had been some months in +Ireland, and returned without gaining any information. My sister said +that he was very unhappy, paid no attention to his clerical duties, and +would sit for days without speaking. That he was very much altered in +his appearance, and had grown thin and care-worn. "In short," said she +"my dear Peter, I am afraid that he is fretting himself to death. Of +course, I am very lonely and melancholy. I cannot help reflecting upon +what will be my situation if any accident should happen to my father. +Accept my uncle's protection I will not; yet, how am I to live, for my +father has saved nothing? I have been very busy lately, trying to +qualify myself for a governess, and practise the harp and piano for +several hours every day. I shall be very, very glad when you come home +again." I showed the letters to O'Brien, who read them with much +attention. I perceived the colour mount into his cheeks, when he read +those parts of her letters in which she mentioned his name, and +expressed her gratitude for his kindness towards me. + +"Never mind, Peter," said O'Brien, returning me the letters; "to whom is +it that I am indebted for my promotion, and this brig, but to you--and +for all the prize-money which I have made, and which, by the head of St +Patrick, comes to a very dacent sum, but to you? Make yourself quite +easy about your dear little sister. We'll club your prize-money and mine +together, and she shall marry a duke, if there is one in England +deserving her; and it's the French that shall furnish her dowry, as sure +as the _Rattlesnake_ carries a tail." + + + + +Chapter XLVII + +I am sent away after prizes, and meet with a hurricane--Am driven on +shore, with the loss of more than half my men--Where is the +_Rattlesnake?_ + + +In three weeks we were again ready for sea, and the admiral ordered us +to our old station off Martinique. We had cruised about a fortnight off +St Pierre's, and, as I walked the deck at night, often did I look at the +lights in the town, and wonder whether any of them were in the presence +of Celeste, when, one evening, being about six miles off shore, we +observed two vessels rounding Negro Point, close in-shore. It was quite +calm, and the boats were towing ahead. + +"It will be dark in half-an-hour, Peter," said O'Brien, "and I think we +might get them before they anchor, or, if they do anchor, it will be +well outside. What do you think?" + +I agreed with him, for in fact, I always seemed to be happier when the +brig was close in-shore, as I felt as if I was nearer to Celeste, and +the further we were off, the more melancholy I became. Continually +thinking of her, and the sight of her after so many years' separation, +had changed my youthful attachment into strong affection. I may say that +I was deeply in love. The very idea of going into the harbour, +therefore, gave me pleasure, and there was no mad or foolish thing that +I would not have done, only to gaze upon the walls which contained the +constant object of my thoughts. These were wild and visionary notions, +and with little chance of ever arriving to any successful issue; but at +one or two-and-twenty we are fond of building castles, and very apt to +fall in love, without considering our prospect of success. I replied, +that I thought it very possible, and wished he would permit me to make +the attempt, as, if I found there was much risk, I would return. + +"I know that I can trust you, Peter," replied O'Brien, "and it's a great +pleasure to know that you have an officer you can trust: but haven't I +brought you up myself, and made a man of you, as I promised I would, +when you were a little spalpeen, with a sniffling nose, and legs in the +shape of two carrots? So hoist out the launch, and get the boats ready-- +the sooner the better. What a hot day this has been--not a cat's-paw on +the water, and the sky all of a mist. Only look at the sun, how he goes +down, puffed out to three times his size, as if he were in a terrible +passion. I suspect we shall have the land breeze off strong." + +In half an hour I shoved off with the boats. It was now quite dark, and +I pulled towards the harbour of St Pierre. The heat was excessive and +unaccountable; not the slightest breath of wind moved in the heavens or +below; no clouds to be seen, and the stars were obscured by a sort of +mist: there appeared a total stagnation in the elements. The men in the +boats pulled off their jackets, for, after a few moments' pulling, they +could bear them no longer. As we pulled in, the atmosphere became more +opaque, and the darkness more intense. We supposed ourselves to be at +the mouth of the harbour, but could see nothing--not three yards ahead +of the boat. Swinburne, who always went with me, was steering the boat, +and I observed to him the unusual appearance of the night. + +"I've been watching it, sir," replied Swinburne, "and I tell you, Mr +Simple, that if we only know how to find the brig, that I would advise +you to get on board of her immediately. She'll want all her hands this +night, or I'm much mistaken." + +"Why do you say so?" replied I. + +"Because I think, nay, I may say that I'm sartin, we'll have a hurricane +afore morning. It's not the first time I've cruised in these latitudes. +I recollect in '94--" + +But I interrupted him: "Swinburne, I believe that you are right. At all +events, I'll turn back: perhaps we may reach the brig before it comes +on. She carries a light, and we can find her out." I then turned the +boat round, and steered, as near as I could guess, for where the brig +was lying. But we had not pulled out more than two minutes before a low +moaning was heard in the atmosphere--now here, now there--and we +appeared to be pulling through solid darkness, if I may use the +expression. Swinburne looked around him and pointed out on the starboard +bow. + +"It's a-coming, Mr Simple, sure enough; many's the living being that +will not rise on its legs to-morrow. See, sir." + +I looked, and dark as it was, it appeared as if a sort of black wall was +sweeping along the water right towards us. The moaning gradually +increased to a stunning roar, and then at once it broke upon us with a +noise to which no thunder can bear a comparison. The oars were caught by +the wind with such force that the men were dashed forward under the +thwarts, many of them severely hurt. Fortunately we pulled with tholes +and pins, or the gunwale and planks of the boat would have been wrenched +off, and we should have foundered. The wind soon caught the boat on her +broadside, and, had there been the least sea, would have inevitably +thrown her over; but Swinburne put the helm down, and she fell off +before the hurricane, darting through the boiling water at the rate of +ten miles an hour. All hands were aghast; they had recovered their +seats, but were obliged to relinquish them and sit down at the bottom, +holding on by the thwarts. The terrific roaring of the hurricane +prevented any communication, except by gesture. The other boats had +disappeared; lighter than ours, they had flown away faster before the +sweeping element; but we had not been a minute before the wind before +the sea rose in a most unaccountable manner--it appeared to be by magic. +Of all the horrors that ever I witnessed, nothing could be compared to +the scene of this night. We could see nothing, and heard only the wind, +before which we were darting like an arrow--to where we knew not, unless +it was to certain death. Swinburne steered the boat, every now and then +looking back as the waves increased. In a few minutes we were in a heavy +swell, that at one minute bore us all aloft, and at the next almost +sheltered us from the hurricane; and now the atmosphere was charged with +showers of spray, the wind cutting off the summits of the waves, as if +with a knife, and carrying them along with it, as it were, in its arms. +The boat was filling with water, and appeared to settle down fast. The +men baled with their hats in silence, when a large wave culminated over +the stern, filling us up to our thwarts. The next moment we all received +a shock so violent, that we were jerked from our seats. Swinburne was +thrown over my head. Every timber of the boat separated at once, and she +appeared to crumble from under us, leaving us floating on the raging +waters. We all struck out for our lives, but with little hope of +preserving them; but the next wave dashed us on the rocks, against which +the boat had already been hurled. That wave gave life to some and death +to others. Me, in Heaven's mercy, it preserved: I was thrown so high up +that I merely scraped against the top of the rock, breaking two of my +ribs. Swinburne, and eight more, escaped with me, but not unhurt: two +had their legs broken, three had broken arms, and the others were more +or less contused. Swinburne miraculously received no injury. We had been +eighteen in the boat, of which ten escaped: the others were hurled up at +our feet; and the next morning we found them dreadfully mangled. One or +two had their skulls literally shattered to pieces against the rocks. I +felt that I was saved, and was grateful; but still the hurricane howled +--still the waves were washing over us. I crawled further up upon the +beach, and found Swinburne sitting down with his eyes directed seaward. +He knew me, took my hand, squeezed it, and then held it in his. For some +moments we remained in this position, when the waves, which every moment +increased in volume, washed up to us, and obliged us to crawl further +up. I then looked around me; the hurricane continued in its fury, but +the atmosphere was not so dark. I could trace, for some distance, the +line of the harbour, from the ridge of foam upon the shore; and, for the +first time, I thought of O'Brien and the brig. I put my mouth close to +Swinburne's ear, and cried out, "O'Brien!" Swinburne shook his head, and +looked up again at the offing. I thought whether there was any chance of +the brig's escape. She was certainly six, if not seven miles off, and +the hurricane was not direct on the shore. She might have a drift of ten +miles, perhaps; but what was that against such tremendous power? I +prayed for those on board of the brig, and returned thanks for my own +preservation. I was, or soon should be, a prisoner, no doubt; but what +was that? I thought of Celeste, and felt almost happy. + +In about three hours the force of the wind subsided. It still blew a +heavy gale, but the sky cleared up, the stars again twinkled in the +heavens, and we could see to a considerable distance. + +"It's breaking now, sir," said Swinburne, at last; "satisfied with the +injury it has done--and that's no little. This is worse than '94." + +"Now, I'd give all my pay and prize-money if it were only daylight, and +I could know the fate of the poor _Rattlesnake_. What do you think, +Swinburne?" + +"All depends upon whether they were taken unprepared, sir. Captain +O'Brien is as good a seaman as ever trod a plank; but he never has been +in a hurricane, and may not have known, the signs and warnings which God +in His mercy has vouchsafed to us. Your flush vessels fill easily--but +we must hope for the best." + +Most anxiously did we look out for the day, which appeared to us as if +it never would break. At last the dawn appeared, and we stretched our +eyes to every part of the offing as it was lighted up, but we could not +see the brig. The sun rose, and all was bright and clear; but we looked +not around us, our eyes were directed to where we had left the brig. The +sea was still running high, but the wind abated fast. + +"Thank God!" ejaculated Swinburne, when he had directed his eyes along +the coast, "she is above water, at all events!" and looking in the +direction where he pointed, I perceived the brig within two miles of the +shore, dismantled, and tossing in the waves. + +"I see her," replied I, catching my breath with joy; "but--still--I +think she must go on shore." + +"All depends upon whether she can get a little bit of sail up to weather +the point," replied Swinburne; "and depend upon it, Captain O'Brien +knows that as well as we do." + +We were now joined by the other men who were saved. We all shook hands. +They pointed out to me the bodies of our shipmates who had perished. I +directed them to haul them further up, and put them all together; and +continued, with Swinburne, to watch the brig. In about half an hour we +perceived a triangle raised, and in ten minutes afterwards a jury-mast +abaft--a try-sail was hoisted and set. Then the shears were seen +forward, and in as short a time another try-sail and a storm-jib were +expanded to the wind. + +"That's all he can do now, Mr Simple," observed Swinburne; "he must +trust to them and Providence. They are not more than a mile from the +beach--it will be touch and go." + +Anxiously did we watch for more than half an hour; the other men +returned to us, and joined in our speculations. At one time we thought +it impossible--at another, we were certain that she would weather the +point. At last, as she neared us, she warped ahead: my anxiety became +almost insupportable. I stood first on one leg, and then on the other, +breathless with suspense. She appeared to be on the point--actually +touching the rocks--"God! she's struck!" said I. + +"No!" replied Swinburne;--and then we saw her pass on the other side of +the outermost rock and disappear. + +"Safe, Mr Simple!--weathered, by God!" cried Swinburne, waving his hat +with joy. + +"God be thanked!" replied I, overcome with delight. + + + + +Chapter XLVIII + +The devastation of the hurricane--Peter makes friends--At destroying or +saving, nothing like British seamen--Peter meets with General O'Brien, +much to his satisfaction--Has another meeting still more so--A great +deal of pressing of hands, "and all that," as Pope says. + + +Now that the brig was safe, we thought of ourselves. My first attention +was directed to the dead bodies, and as I looked at their mangled limbs, +I felt grateful to Heaven that I had been so miraculously spared. We +then cast our eyes along the beach to see if we could trace any remnants +of the other boats, but in vain. We were about three miles from the +town, which we could perceive had received considerable damage, and the +beach below it was strewed with wrecks and fragments. I told the men +that we might as well walk into the town and deliver ourselves up as +prisoners; to which they agreed, and we set forward, promising to send +for the poor fellows who were too much hurt to accompany us. + +As soon as we climbed up the rocks, and gained the inland, what a sight +presented itself to us! Trees torn up by the roots in every direction-- +cattle lying dead--here and there the remains of a house, of which the +other parts had been swept away for miles. Everything not built of solid +masonry had disappeared. We passed what had been a range of negro huts, +but they were levelled to the ground. The negroes were busily searching +for their property among the ruins, while the women held their infants +in their arms, and the other children by their sides. Here and there was +the mother wailing over the dead body of some poor little thing which +had been crushed to death. They took no notice of us. About half a mile +further on, to our great delight, we fell in with the crews of the other +boats, who were sitting by the side of the road. They had all escaped +unhurt; their boats, being so much more buoyant than ours, had been +thrown up high and dry. They joined us, and we proceeded on our way. On +our road we fell in with a cart blown over, under the wheel of which was +the leg of the negro who conducted it. We released the poor fellow; his +leg was fractured. We laid him by the side of the road in the shade, and +continued our march. Our whole route was one scene of desolation and +distress; but when we arrived at the town, we found that there it was +indeed accumulated. There was not one house in three standing entire-- +the beach was covered with remnants of bodies and fragments of vessels, +whose masts lay forced several feet into the sand, and broken into four +or five pieces. Parties of soldiers were busy taking away the bodies, +and removing what few valuables had been saved. We turned up into the +town, for no one accosted us or even noticed us; and here the scene was +even more dreadful. In some streets they were digging out those who were +still alive, and whose cries were heard among the ruins; in others they +were carrying away the dead bodies. The lamentations of the relatives-- +the howling of the negroes--the cries of the wounded--the cursing and +swearing of the French soldiers, and the orders delivered continually by +officers on horseback, with all the confusion arising from crowds of +spectators, mingling their voices together, formed a scene as dreadful +as it was novel. After surveying it for a few minutes, I went up to an +officer on horseback, and told him in French, that I wished to surrender +myself as a prisoner. + +"We have no time to take prisoners now," replied he; "hundreds are +buried in the ruins, and we must try to save them. We must now attend to +the claims of humanity." + +"Will you allow my men to assist you, sir?" replied I. "They are active +and strong fellows." + +"Sir," said he, taking off his hat, "I thank you in the name of my +unfortunate countrymen." + +"Show us, then, where we may be most useful." + +He turned and pointed to a house higher up, the offices of which were +blown down. "There are living beings under those ruins." + +"Come, my lads," said I; and sore as they were, my men hastened with +alacrity to perform their task. I could not help them myself, my side +was so painful; but I stood by giving them directions. In half an hour +we had cleared away, so as to arrive at a poor negro girl, whose cries +we had distinctly heard. We released her and laid her down in the +street, but she fainted. Her left hand was dreadfully shattered. I was +giving what assistance I could, and the men were busy clearing away, +throwing on one side the beams and rafters, when an officer on horseback +rode up. He stood and asked me who we were. I told him that we belonged +to the brig, and had been wrecked; and that we were giving what +assistance we could until they were at leisure to send us to prison. + +"You English are fine brave fellows," replied he, and he rode on. + +Another unfortunate object had been recovered by our men, an old +white-headed negro, but he was too much mangled to live. We brought him +out, and were laying him beside the negro girl, when several officers on +horseback rode down the street. The one who was foremost, in a general's +uniform, I immediately recognized as my former friend, then Colonel +O'Brien. They all stopped and looked at us. I told who we were. General +O'Brien took off his hat to the sailors, and thanked them. He did not +recognize me, and he was passing on, when I said to him in English, +"General O'Brien, you have forgotten me, but I shall never forget your +kindness." + +"My God!" said he, "is it you, my dear fellow?" and he sprang from his +horse and shook me warmly by the hand. "No wonder that I did not know +you; you are a very different person from little Peter Simple, who +dressed up as a girl and danced on stilts. But I have to thank you, and +so has Celeste for your kindness to her. I will not ask you to leave +your work of charity and kindness, but when you have done what you can, +come up to my house. Anyone will show it to you; and if you do not find +me you will find Celeste, as you must be aware cannot leave this +melancholy employment. God bless you!" He then rode off, followed by his +staff. + +"Come, my lads," said I, "depend upon it we shall not be very cruelly +treated. Let us work hard, and do all the good we can, and the Frenchmen +won't forget it." + +We had cleared that house, and went back to where the other people were +working under the orders of the officer on horseback. I went up to him, +and told him we had saved two, and if he had no objection, would assist +his party. He thankfully accepted our services. + +"And now, my lads," said Swinburne, "let us forget all our bruises, and +show these French fellows how to work." + +And they did so: they tossed away the beams and rafters right and left +with a quickness and dexterity which quite astonished the officer and +other inhabitants who were looking on, and in half an hour had done more +work than could have been possibly expected. Several lives were saved, +and the French expressed their admiration at our sailors' conduct, and +brought them something to drink, which they stood much in need of, poor +fellows. After that they worked double tides, as we say, and certainly +were the means of saving many lives which otherwise would have been +sacrificed. + +The disasters occasioned by this hurricane were very great, owing to its +having taken place at night, when the chief of the inhabitants were in +bed and asleep. I was told that most of the wood houses were down five +minutes after the hurricane burst upon them. About noon there was no +more work for us to do, and I was not sorry that it was over. My side +was very painful, and the burning heat of the sun made me feel giddy and +sick at the stomach. I inquired of a respectable looking old Frenchman +which was the General's house. He directed me to it, and I proceeded +there, followed by my men. When I arrived, I found the orderly leading +away the horse of General O'Brien, who had just returned. I desired a +sergeant, who was in attendance at the door, to acquaint the general +that I was below. He returned, and desired me to follow him. I was +conducted into a large room, where I found him in company with several +officers. He again greeted me warmly, and introduced me to the company +as the officer who had permitted the ladies who had been taken prisoners +to come on shore. + +"I have to thank you, then, for my wife," said an officer, coming up, +and offering his hand. + +Another came up, and told me that I had also released his. We then +entered into a conversation, in which I stated, the occasion of my +having been wrecked, and all the particulars; also, that I had seen the +brig in the morning dismasted, but that she had weathered the point, and +was safe. + +"That brig of yours, I must pay you the compliment to say, has been very +troublesome; and my namesake keeps the batteries more upon the alert +than ever I could have done," said General O'Brien. "I don't believe +there is a negro five years old upon the island who does not know your +brig." + +We then talked over the attack of the privateer, in which we were beaten +off. "Ah!" replied the aide-de-camp, "you made a mess of that. He has +been gone these four months. Captain Carnot swears that he'll fight you +if he falls in with you." + +"He has kept his word," replied I; and then I narrated our action with +the three French privateers, and the capture of the vessel; which +surprised and, I think, annoyed them very much. + +"Well, my friend," said General O'Brien, "you must stay with me while +you are on the island; if you want anything, let me know." + +"I am afraid that I want a surgeon," replied I; "for my side is so +painful that I can scarcely breathe." + +"Are you hurt then?" said General O'Brien, with an anxious look. + +"Not dangerously, I believe," said I, "but rather painfully." + +"Let me see," said an officer, who stepped forward; "I am surgeon to the +forces here, and perhaps you will trust yourself in my hands. Take off +your coat." + +I did so with difficulty. "You have two ribs broken," said he, "and a +very severe contusion. You must go to bed, or lie on a sofa, for a few +days. In a quarter of an hour I will come and dress you, and promise you +to make you all well in ten days, in return for your having given me my +daughter, who was on board of the _Victorine_ with the other ladies." +The officers now made their bows, and left me alone with General +O'Brien. + +"Recollect," said he, "that I tell it you once for all, that my purse, +and everything, is at your command. If you do not accept them freely, I +shall think you do not love us. It is not the first time, Peter, and you +repaid me honourably. However, of course, I was no party to that affair; +it was Celeste's doing," continued he, laughing. "Of course, I could not +imagine that it was you who was dressed up as a woman, and so impudently +danced through France on stilts. But I must hear all your adventures +by-and-by, Celeste is most anxious to see you. Will you go now, or wait +till after the surgeon comes?" + +"Oh, now, if you please, general. May I first beg that some care may be +taken of my poor men; they have had nothing to eat since yesterday, are +very much bruised, and have worked hard; and that a cart may be sent for +those who lie maimed on the beach?" + +"I should have thought of them before," replied he: "and I will also +order the same party to bury the other poor fellows who are lying on the +beach. Come, now--will take you to Celeste." + + + + +Chapter XLIX + +Broken ribs not likely to produce broken hearts--O'Brien makes something +very like a declaration of peace--Peter Simple actually makes a +declaration of love--Rash proceedings on all sides. + + +I followed the general into a handsomely furnished apartment, where I +found Celeste waiting to receive me. She ran to me as soon as I entered; +and with what pleasure did I take her hand, and look on her beautiful +expressive countenance! I could not say a word--neither did Celeste. For +a minute I held her hand in mine, looking at her; the general stood by +regarding us alternately. He then turned round, and walked to the +window. I lifted the hand to my lips, and then released it. + +"It appears to be a dream, almost," said Celeste. + +I could not make any reply, but continued to gaze upon her--she had +grown up into such a beautiful creature. Her figure was perfect, and the +expression of her countenance was so varied--so full of intellect and +feeling--it was angelic. Her eyes, suffused with tears, beamed so +softly, so kindly on me, I could have fallen down and worshipped her. + +"Come," said General O'Brien; "come, my dear friend, now that you have +seen Celeste, the surgeon must see you." + +"The surgeon," cried Celeste, with alarm. + +"Yes, my love; it is of no consequence--only a couple of ribs broken." + +I followed General O'Brien out of the room, and as I came to the door I +turned round to look at Celeste. She had retreated to the sofa, and her +handkerchief was up to her eyes. The surgeon was waiting for me; he +bandaged me, and applied some cooling lotion to my side, which made me +feel quite comfortable. + +"I must now leave you," said General O'Brien; "you had better lie down +for an hour or two, and then, if I am not back, you know your way to +Celeste." + +I lay down as he requested; but as soon as I heard the clatter of the +horse's hoofs, as he rode off, I left the room, and hurried to the +drawing-room. Celeste was there, and hastened to inquire if I was much +hurt. I replied in the negative, and told her that I had come down to +prove it to her; and we then sat down on the sofa together. + +"I have the misfortune never to appear before you, Celeste, except in a +very unprepossessing state. When you first saw me I was wounded; at our +next meeting I was in woman's clothes; the last time we met I was +covered with dirt and gunpowder; and now I return to you wounded and in +rags. I wonder whether I shall ever appear before you as a gentleman?" + +"It is not the clothes which make the gentleman, Peter. I am too happy +to see you to think of how you are dressed. I have never yet thanked you +for your kindness to us when we last met. My father will never forget +it." + +"Nor have I thanked you, Celeste, for your kindness in dropping the +purse into the hat, when you met me, trying to escape from France. I +have never forgotten you, and since we met the last time, you have +hardly ever been out of my thoughts. You don't know how thankful I am to +the hurricane for having blown me into your presence. When we cruised in +the brig, I have often examined the town with my glass, trying to fancy +that I had my eye upon the house you were in; and have felt so happy +when we were close in shore, because I knew that I was nearer to you." + +"And, Peter, I have often watched the brig, and have been so glad to see +it come nearer, and then so afraid that the batteries would fire at you. +What a pity it is that my father and you should be opposed to each +other--we might be so happy!" + +"And may be yet, Celeste," replied I. + +We conversed for two hours, which appeared to be but ten minutes. I felt +that I was in love, but I do not think that Celeste had any idea at the +time that she was--but I leave the reader to judge from the little +conversation I have quoted, whether she was not, or something very much +approaching to it. + +The next morning I went out early to look for the brig, and, to my great +delight, saw her about six miles off the harbour's mouth, standing in +for the land. She had now got up very respectable jury-masts, with +topgallants for topsails, and appeared to be well under command. When +she was within three miles of the harbour she lowered the jolly-boat, +the only one she had left, and it pulled in-shore with a flag of truce +hoisted at the bows. I immediately returned to my room, and wrote a +detailed account of what had taken place, ready to send to O'Brien when +the boat returned, and I, of course, requested him to send me my +effects, as I had nothing but what I stood in. I had just completed my +letter when General O'Brien came in. + +"My dear friend," said he, "I have just received a flag of truce from +Captain O'Brien, requesting to know the fate of his boats' crews, and +permission to send in return the clothes and effects of the survivors." + +"I have written down the whole circumstances for him, and made the same +request to him," replied I; and I handed him my letter. He read it over +and returned it. + +"But, my dear lad, you must think very poorly of us Frenchmen, if you +imagine that we intend to detain you here as a prisoner. In the first +place, your liberation of so many French subjects, when you captured the +_Victorine_, would entitle you to a similar act of kindness; and, in the +next place, you have not been fairly captured, but by a visitation of +Providence, which, by the means of the late storm, must destroy all +national antipathies, and promote that universal philanthropy between +all men, which your brave fellows proved that they possess. You are, +therefore, free to depart with all your men, and we shall still hold +ourselves your debtors. How is your side to-day?" + +"Oh, very bad, indeed," replied I; for I could not bear the idea of +returning to the brig so soon, for I had been obliged to quit Celeste +very soon after dinner the day before, and go to bed. I had not yet had +much conversation with her, nor had I told General O'Brien how it was +that we escaped from France. "I don't think I can possibly go on board +to-day, but I feel very grateful to you for your kindness." + +"Well, well," replied the general, who observed my feelings, "I do not +think it is necessary that you should go on board to-day. I will send +the men and your letter, and I will write to Captain O'Brien, to say +that you are in bed, and will not bear moving until the day after +tomorrow. Will that do?" + +I thought it but a very short time, but I saw that the general looked as +if he expected me to consent; so I did. + +"The boat can come and return again with some of your clothes," +continued the general, "and I will tell Captain O'Brien that if he comes +off the mouth of the harbour the day after to-morrow, I will send you on +board in one of our boats." + +He then took my letter and quitted the room. As soon as he was gone I +found myself quite well enough to go to Celeste, who waited for me, and +I told her what had passed. That morning I sat with her and the general, +and narrated all my adventures, which amused the general very much. I +did not conceal the conduct of my uncle, and the hopes which I faintly +entertained of being able, some day or another, to discover the fraud +which had been practised, or how very unfavourable were my future +prospects if I did not succeed. At this portion of my narrative the +general appeared very thoughtful and grave. When I had finished, it was +near dinner time, and I found that my clothes had arrived with a letter +from O'Brien, who stated how miserable he had been at the supposition of +my loss, and his delight at my escape. He stated that on going down into +the cabin, after I had shoved off, he, by chance, cast his eyes on the +barometer, and, to his surprise, found that it had fallen two inches, +which he had been told was the case previous to a hurricane. This, +combined with the peculiar state of the atmosphere, had induced him to +make every preparation, and that they had just completed their work when +it came on. The brig was thrown on her beam ends, and lay there for half +an hour, when they were forced to cut away the masts to right her. That +they did not weather the point the next morning by more than half a +cable's length; and concluded by saying, that the idea of my death had +made him so unhappy that, if it had not been for the sake of the men, it +was almost a matter of indifference to him whether he had been lost or +not. He had written to General O'Brien, thanking him for his kindness; +and that, if fifty vessels should pass the brig, he would not capture +one of them, until I was on board again, even if he were dismissed the +service for neglect of duty. He said, that the brig sailed almost as +fast under jury-masts as she did before, and that, as soon as I came on +board, he should go back to Barbadoes. "As for your ribs being so bad, +Peter, that's all bother," continued he; "I know that you are making +arrangements for another sort of _rib_, as soon as you can manage it; +but you must stop a little, my boy. You shall be a lord yet, as I always +promised you that you should. It's a long lane that has no turning--so +good-bye." + +When I was alone with Celeste, I showed her O'Brien's letter. I had read +the part of it relative to his not intending to make any capture while I +was on shore to General O'Brien, who replied, "that under such +circumstances he thought' he should do right to detain me a little +longer but," said he, "O'Brien is a man of honour, and worthy of his +name." + +When Celeste came to that part of the letter in which O'Brien stated +that I was looking after another rib, and which I had quite forgotten, +she asked me to explain it; for, although she could read and speak +English very well, she had not been sufficiently accustomed to it to +comprehend the play upon words. I translated, and then said, "Indeed, +Celeste, I had forgotten that observation of O'Brien's, or I should not +have shown you the letter; but he has stated the truth. After all your +kindness to me, how can I help being in love with you? and need I add, +that I should consider it the greatest blessing which Heaven could grant +me, if you could feel so much regard for me as one day to become my +wife! Don't be angry with me for telling you the truth," continued I, +for Celeste coloured up as I spoke to her. + +"Oh, no! I am not angry with you, Peter; far from it. It is very +complimentary to me--what you have just said." + +"I am aware," continued I, "that at present I have little to offer you-- +indeed, nothing. I am not even such a match as your father might approve +of; but you know my whole history, and what my desires are." + +"My dear father loves me, Peter, and he loves you too, very much--he +always did, from the hour he saw you--he was so pleased with your +candour and honesty of character. He has often told me so, and very +often talked of you." + +"Well, Celeste, tell me,--may I when far away, be permitted to think of +you, and indulge a hope, that some day we may meet never to part again?" +And I took Celeste by the hand, and put my arm round her waist. + +"I don't know what to say," replied she; "I will speak to my father, or +perhaps you will; but I will never marry anybody else, if I can help +it." + +I drew her close to me, and kissed her. Celeste burst into tears, and +laid her head upon my shoulder. When General O'Brien came I did not +attempt to move, nor did Celeste. + +"General," said I, "you may think me to blame, but I have not been able +to conceal what I feel for Celeste. You may think that I am imprudent, +and that I am wrong in thus divulging what I ought to have concealed, +until I was in a situation to warrant my aspiring to your daughter's +hand; but the short time allowed me to be in her company, the fear of +losing her, and my devoted attachment, will, I trust, plead my excuse." + +The general took one or two turns up and down the room, and then +replied, "What says Celeste?" + +"Celeste will never do anything to make her father unhappy," replied +she, going up to him and hiding her face in his breast, with her arm +round his neck. + +The general kissed his daughter, and then said, "I will be frank with +you, Mr Simple. I do not know any man whom I would prefer to you as a +son-in-law; but there are many considerations which young people are +very apt to forget. I do not interfere in your attachment, which appears +to be mutual; but, at the same time, I will have no promise and no +engagement, you may never meet again. However, Celeste is very young, +and I shall not put any constraint upon her; and at the same time you +are equally free, if time and circumstances should alter your present +feelings." + +"I can ask no more, my dear sir," replied I, taking the general by the +hand; "it is candid--more than I had any reason to expect. I shall now +leave you with a contented mind, and the hopes of one day claiming +Celeste shall spur me to exertion." + +"Now, if you please, we will drop the subject," said the general. +"Celeste, my dear, we have a large party to dinner, as you know. You had +better retire to your room and get ready. I have asked all the ladies +that you liberated, Peter, and all their husbands and fathers; so you +will have the pleasure of witnessing how many people you made happy by +your gallantry. Now that Celeste has left the room, Peter, I must beg +that, as a man of honour, you do not exact from her any more promises, +or induce her to tie herself down to you by oaths. Her attachment to you +has grown up with her unaccountably, and she is already too fond of you +for her peace of mind, should accident or circumstances part you for +ever. Let us hope for the best, and depend upon it that it shall be no +trifling obstacle which will hinder me from seeing you one day united." + +I thanked the general with tears; he shook me warmly by the hand as I +gave my promise, and we separated. + +How happy did I feel when I went into my room, and sat down to compose +my mind and think over what had happened. True, at one moment the +thought of my dependent situation threw a damp over my joy; but in the +next I was building castles, inventing a discovery of my uncle's plot, +fancying myself in possession of the title and property, and laying it +at the feet of my dear Celeste. Hope sustained my spirits, and I felt +satisfied for the present with the consideration that Celeste returned +my love. I decked myself carefully, and went down, where I found all the +company assembled. We had a very pleasant, happy party, and the ladies +entreated General O'Brien to detain me as a prisoner--very kind of them +--and I felt very much disposed to join in their request. + + + + +Chapter L + +Peter Simple first takes a command, then three West Indiamen, and twenty +prisoners--One good turn deserves another--The prisoners endeavour to +take him, but are themselves taken in. + + +The next day I was very unhappy. The brig was in the offing waiting for +me to come on hoard. I pointed her out to Celeste as we were at the +window, and her eyes met mine. An hour's conversation could not have +said more. General O'Brien showed that he had perfect confidence in me +for he left us together. + +"Celeste," said I, "I have promised your father--" + +"I know what has passed," interrupted she; "he told me everything." + +"How kind he is! But I did not say that I would not bind myself, +Celeste." + +"No! but my father made me promise that you should not--that if you +attempted, I was immediately to prevent you--and so I shall." + +"Then you shall keep your word, Celeste. Imagine everything that can be +said in this--" and I kissed her. + +"Don't think me forward, Peter, but I wish you to go away happy," said +Celeste; "and therefore, in return, imagine all I could say in this" and +she returned my salute. + +After this we had a conversation of two hours; but what lovers say is +very silly, except to themselves, and the reader need not be troubled +with it. General O'Brien came in and told me the boat was ready. I rose +up--I was satisfied with what had passed, and with a firm voice I said, +"Good-bye, Celeste; God bless you!" and followed the general, who, with +some of his officers, walked down with me to the beach. I thanked the +general, who embraced me, paid my adieus to the officers, and stepped +into the boat. In half an hour I was on board of the brig, and in +O'Brien's arms. We put the helm up, and in a short time the town of St +Pierre was shut out from my longing sight, and we were on our way to +Barbadoes. That day was passed in the cabin with O'Brien, giving him a +minute detail of all that had passed. + +When we anchored once more in Carlisle Bay, we found that the hurricane +had been much more extensive in the Windward Islands than we had +imagined. Several men of war were lying there, having lost one or more +of their masts, and there was great difficulty in supplying the wants of +so many. As we arrived the last, of course we were last served; and, +there being no boats left in store, there was no chance of our being +ready for sea under two or three months. The _Joan d' Arc_ schooner +privateer was still lying there, but had not been fitted out for want of +men; and the admiral proposed to O'Brien that he should man her with a +part of his ship's company, and send one of his lieutenants out to +cruise in her. This was gladly assented to by O'Brien, who came on board +and asked me whether I should like to have her, which I agreed to, as I +was quite tired of Barbadoes and fried flying fish. + +I selected two midshipmen, Swinburne, and twenty men, and having taken +on board provisions and water for three months, I received my written +instructions from O'Brien, and made sail. We soon discovered that the +masts which the American had sold to the schooner, were much too large +for her; she was considerably overmasted, and we were obliged to be very +careful. I stood for Trinidad, off which island was to be my cruising +ground, and in three weeks had recaptured three West Indiamen, when I +found myself so short of hands, that I was obliged to return to +Barbadoes. I had put four hands into the first vessel, which, with the +Englishmen, prisoners, were sufficient, and, three hands into the two +others; but I was very much embarrassed with my prisoners, who amounted +to nearly double my ship's company remaining on board. Both the +midshipmen I had sent away, and I consulted with Swinburne as to what +was best to be done. + +"Why, the fact is, Mr Simple, Captain O'Brien ought to have given us +more hands; twenty men are little enough for a vessel with a boom +mainsail like the one we have here; and now we have only ten left; but I +suppose he did not expect us to be so lucky, and it's true enough that +he has plenty of work for the ship's company, now that he has to turn +everything in afresh. As for the prisoners, I think we had better run +close in, and give them two of our boats to take them on shore. At all +events, we must be rid of them, and not be obliged to have one eye +aloft, and the other down the hatchway, as we must now." + +This advice corresponded with my own ideas, and I ran in-shore, gave +them the stern boat, and one of the larger ones, which held them all, +and sent them away, leaving only one boat for the schooner, which we +hoisted up in the star-board chess-tree. It fell a dead calm as we sent +away the prisoners; we saw them land and disappear over the rocks, and +thought ourselves well rid of them, as they were twenty-two in number, +most of them Spaniards, and very stout ferocious-looking fellows. It +continued calm during the whole day, much to our annoyance, as I was +very anxious to get away as soon as I could; still I could not help +admiring the beauty of the scenery--the lofty mountains rising abruptly +from the ocean, and towering in the clouds, reflected on the smooth +water, as clear as in a looking-glass, every colour, every tint, +beautifully distinct. The schooner gradually drifted close in-shore, and +we could perceive the rocks at the bottom, many fathoms deep. Not a +breath of wind was to be seen on the surface of the water for several +miles round, although the horizon in the offing showed that there was a +smart breeze outside. + +Night came on, and we still lay becalmed. I gave my orders to Swinburne, +who had the first watch, and retired to my standing bed-place in the +cabin. I was dreaming, and I hardly need say who was the object of my +visions. I thought I was in Eagle Park, sitting down with her under one +of the large chestnut trees, which formed the avenue, when I felt my +shoulder roughly pushed. I started up--"What is the matter? Who's that-- +Swinburne?" + +"Yes, sir. On with your clothes immediately, as we have work on hand, I +expect." And Swinburne left the cabin, and I heard him calling the other +men who were below. I knew that Swinburne would not give a false alarm. +In a minute I was on deck, and was looking at the stern of the schooner. +"What is that, Swinburne?" said I. + +"Silence, sir. Hark! don't you hear them?" + +"Yes," replied I; "the sound of oars." + +"Exactly, sir; depend upon it, those Spaniards have got more help, and +are coming back to take the vessel; they know we have only ten hands on +board." + +By this time the men were all on deck. I directed Swinburne to see all +the muskets loaded, and ran down for my own sword and pistols. The water +was so smooth, and the silence so profound, that Swinburne had heard the +sound of the oars at a considerable distance. Fortunate it was, that I +had such a trusty follower. Another might have slumbered, and the +schooner have been boarded and captured without our being prepared. When +I came on deck again, I spoke to the men, exhorted them to do their +duty, and pointed out to them that these cut-throat villains would +certainly murder us all if we were taken, which I firmly believe would +have been the case. The men declared that they would sell their lives as +dearly as they could. We had twenty muskets, and the same number of +pistols, all of which were now loaded. Our guns were also ready, but of +no use, now that the schooner had not steerage-way. + +The boats were in sight, about a quarter of a mile astern, when +Swinburne said, "There's a cat's-paw flying along the water, Mr Simple; +if we could only have a little wind, how we would laugh at them; but I'm +afraid there's no such luck. Shall we let them know that we are ready?" + +"Let every one of us take two muskets," said I: "when the first boat is +under the counter, take good aim, and discharge into one of the boats; +then seize the other musket, and discharge it at the other boat. After +that we must trust to our cutlasses and pistols; for if they come on, +there will be no time to load again. Keep silence, all of you." + +The boats now came up full of men; but as we remained perfectly quiet, +they pulled up gently, hoping to surprise us. Fortunately, one was a +little in advance of the other; upon which I altered my directions, and +desired my men to fire their second musket into the first boat, as, if +we could disable her, we were an equal match for those in the other. +When the boat was within six yards of the schooner's counter, "Now!" +said I, and all the muskets were discharged at once, and my men cheered. +Several of the oars dropped, and I was sure we had done great execution; +but they were laid hold of by the other men, who had not been pulling, +and again the boat advanced to the counter. + +"Good aim, my lads, this time," cried Swinburne; "the other boat will be +alongside as soon as you have fired. Mr Simple, the schooner has +headway, and there's a strong breeze coming up." + +Again we discharged our ten muskets into the boat, but this time we +waited until the bow-man had hooked on the planeshear with his +boat-hook, and our fire was very effective. I was surprised to find that +the other boat was not on board of us; but a light breeze had come up, +and the schooner glided through the water. Still she was close under our +counter, and would have been aboard in a minute. In the meantime, the +Spaniards who were in the first boat were climbing up the side, and were +repulsed by my men with great success. The breeze freshened, and +Swinburne ran to the helm. I perceived the schooner was going fast +through the water, and the second boat could hardly hold her course. I +ran to where the boat-hook was fixed on the planeshear, and unhooked it; +the boat fell astern, leaving two Spaniards clinging to the side, who +were cut down, and they fell into the water. "Hurrah! all safe!" cried +Swinburne; "and now to punish them." + +The schooner was now darting along at the rate of five miles, with an +increasing breeze. We stood in for two minutes, then tacked, and ran for +the boats. Swinburne steered, and I continued standing in the bows, +surrounded by the rest of the men. "Starboard a little, Swinburne."-- +"Starboard it is." + +"Steady--steady: I see the first boat, she is close under our bows. +Steady--port--port--port a little--port. Look out, my lads, and cut down +all who climb up." + +Crash went the schooner on to the boat, the men in her in vain +endeavouring to escape us. For a second or two she appeared to right, +until her further gunwale was borne down under the water; she turned up, +and the schooner went over her, sending every soul in her to their +account. One man clung on to a rope, and was towed for a few seconds, +but a cutlass divided the rope at the gunwale, and with a faint shriek +he disappeared. The other boat was close to us, and perceived what had +been done. They remained with their oars poised, all ready to pull so as +to evade the schooner. We steered for her, and the schooner was now +running at the rate of seven miles an hour. When close under our bows, +by very dexterously pulling short round with their starboard oars, we +only struck her with our bow; and before she went down many of the +Spaniards had gained the deck, or were clinging to the side of the +vessel. They fought with desperation, but we were too strong for them. +It was only those who had gained the deck which we had to contend with. +The others clung for a time, and, unable to get up the sides, one by one +dropped into the water and went astern. In a minute, those on deck were +lying at our feet, and in a minute more they were tossed overboard after +their companions; not, however, until one of them struck me through the +calf of the leg with his knife as we were lifting him over the gunwale. +I do not mean to say that the Spaniards were not justified in attempting +to take the schooner; but still, as we had liberated them but a few +hours before, we felt that it was unhandsome and treacherous on their +part, and therefore showed them no quarter. There were two of my men +wounded as well as myself, but not severely, which was fortunate, as we +had no surgeon on board, and only about half a yard of a diachylum +plaster in the vessel. + +"Well out of that, sir," said Swinburne, as I limped aft. "By the Lord +Harry! it might have been a _pretty go_." + +Having shaped our course for Barbadoes, I dressed my leg and went down +to sleep. This time I did not dream of Celeste, but fought the Spaniards +over again, thought I was wounded, and awoke with the pain of my leg. + + + + +Chapter LI + +Peter turned out of his command by his vessel turning bottom up--A +cruise on a main-boom, with sharks _en attendant_--Self and crew, with +several flying fish, taken on board a negro boat--Peter regenerates by +putting on a new outward man. + + +We made Barbadoes without any further adventure, and were about ten +miles off the bay, steering with a very light breeze, and I went down +into the cabin, expecting to be at anchor before breakfast the next +morning. It was just daylight, when I found myself thrown out of my +bed-place on the deck, on the other side of the cabin, and heard the +rushing of water. I sprang up, I knew the schooner was on her beam ends, +and gained the deck. I was correct in my supposition: she had been upset +by what is called a white squall, and in two minutes would be down. All +the men were up on deck, some dressed, others, like myself, in their +shirts. Swinburne was aft; he had an axe in his hand, cutting away the +rigging of the main-boom. I saw what he was about; I seized another, and +disengaged the jaw-rope and small gear about the mast. We had no other +chance; our boat was under the water, being hoisted up on the side to +leeward. All this, however, was but the work of two minutes; and I could +not help observing by what trifles lives are lost or saved. Had the axe +not been fortunately at the capstern, I should not have been able to cut +the jaw-rope, Swinburne would not have had time, and the main-boom would +have gone down with the schooner. Fortunately we had cleared it; the +schooner filled, righted a little, and then sank, dragging us and the +main-boom for a few seconds down in its vortex, and then we rose to the +surface. + +The squall still continued, but the water was smooth. It soon passed +over, and again it was nearly calm. I counted the men clinging to the +boom, and found that they were all there. Swinburne was next to me. He +was holding with one hand, while with the other he felt in his pocket +for a quid of tobacco, which he thrust into his cheek. "I wasn't on deck +at the time, Mr Simple," said he, "or this wouldn't have happened. I had +just been relieved, and I told Collins to look out sharp for squalls. I +only mention it, that if you are saved, and I am not, you mayn't think I +was neglectful of my duty. We arn't far from the land, but still we are +more likely to fall in with a shark than a friend, I'm thinking." + +These, indeed, had been my thoughts, but I had concealed them; but after +Swinburne had mentioned the shark, I very often looked along the water +for their fins, and down below to see if they were coming up to tear us +to pieces. It was a dreadful feeling. + +"It was not your fault, Swinburne, I am sure. I ought to have relieved +you myself, but I kept the first watch, and was tired. We must put our +trust in God; perhaps, we may yet be spared." + +It was now almost calm, and the sun had mounted in the heavens: the +scorching rays were intolerable upon our heads, for we had not the +defence of hats. I felt my brain on fire, and was inclined to drop into +the water, to screen myself from the intolerable heat. As the day +advanced so did our sufferings increase. It was a dead calm, the sun +perpendicular over us, actually burning that part of our bodies which +rose clear of the water. I could have welcomed even a shark to relieve +me of my torment; but I thought of Celeste, and I clung to life. Towards +the afternoon I felt sick and dizzy; my resolution failed me; my vision +was imperfect; but I was roused by Swinburne, who cried out, "A boat, by +all that's gracious! Hang on a little longer, my men, and you are +saved." + +It was a boat full of negroes, who had come out to catch flying-fish. +They had perceived the spar on the water, and hastened to secure the +prize. They dragged us all in, gave us water, which appeared like +nectar, and restored us to our fleeting senses. They made fast the boom, +and towed it in-shore. We had not been ten minutes on our way, when +Swinburne pointed to the fin of a large shark above the water. "Look +there, Mr Simple." I shuddered, and made no answer; but I thanked God in +my heart. + +In two hours we were landed, but were too ill to walk. We were carried +up to the hospital, bled, and put into cots. I had a brain fever, which +lasted six or seven days, during which O'Brien never left my bedside. My +head was shaved, all the skin came off my face like a mask, as well as +off my back and shoulders. We were put into baths of brandy and water, +and in three weeks were all recovered. + +"That was but an unlucky schooner from beginning to end," observed +O'Brien, after I had narrated the events of my cruise. "We had a bad +beginning with her, and we had a bad ending. She's gone to the bottom, +and the devil go with her; however, all's well that ends well, and, +Peter, you're worth a dozen dead men yet; but you occasion me a great +deal of trouble and anxiety, that's the truth of it, and I doubt if I +shall ever rear you, after all." + +I returned to my duty on board of the brig, which was now nearly ready +for sea. One morning O'Brien came on board and said, "Peter, I've a +piece of news for you. Our gunner is appointed to the _Araxes_, and the +admiral has given me a gunner's warrant for old Swinburne. Send for him +on deck." + +Swinburne was summoned, and came rolling up the hatchway. "Swinburne," +said O'Brien, "you have done your duty well, and you are now gunner of +the _Rattlesnake_. Here is your warrant, and I've great pleasure in +getting it for you." + +Swinburne turned the quid in his cheek, and then replied, "May I be so +bold as to ax, Captain O'Brien, whether I must wear one of them long +tog, swallow-tailed coats--because, if so, I'd prefer being a +quarter-master?" + +"A gunner may wear a jacket, Swinburne, if he likes; when you go on +shore you may bend the swallow-tail, if you please." + +"Well, sir, then if that's the case, I'll take the warrant, because I +know it will please the old woman." + +So saying, Swinburne hitched up his trousers, and went down below. I may +here observe that Swinburne kept his round jacket until our arrival in +England, when the "old woman," his wife, who thought her dignity at +stake, soon made him ship the swallow-tail; and, after it was once on, +Swinburne took a fancy to it, and always wore it, except when he was at +sea. + +The same evening, as I was coming with O'Brien from the governor's +house, where I had dined, we passed a building, lighted up. "What can +that be?" observed O'Brien; "not a dignity ball--there is no music." Our +curiosity induced us to enter, and we found it to be fitted up as a +temporary chapel, filled with black and coloured people, who were ranged +on the forms, and waiting for the preacher. + +"It is a Methodist meeting," said I to O'Brien. + +"Never mind," said he, "let us hear what is going on." + +In a moment afterwards the pulpit was filled, not by a white man, as we +had anticipated, but by a tall negro. He was dressed in black, and his +hair, which it was impossible to comb down straight, was plaited into +fifty little tails, well tied at the end of them, like you sometimes see +the mane of a horse; this produced a somewhat more clerical appearance. +His throat was open and collar laid back; the wristbands of his shirt +very large and white, and he flourished a white cambric handkerchief. + +"What a dandy he is!" whispered O'Brien. + +I thought it almost too absurd when he said he would take the liberty to +praise God in the 17th hymn, and beg all the company to join chorus. He +then gave out the stanzas in the most strange pronunciation. + + "Gentle Jesus, God um lub," &c. + +When the hymn was finished, which was sung by the whole congregation, in +the most delightful discord,--everyone chose his own key--he gave an +extempore prayer, which was most unfortunately incomprehensible, and +then commenced his discourse, which was on _Faith_. I shall omit the +head and front of his offending, which would, perhaps, hardly be +gratifying although ludicrous. He reminded me of a monkey imitating a +man; but what amused me most was his finale, in which he told his +audience that there could be no faith without charity. For a little +while he descanted upon this generally, and at last became personal. His +words were, as well as I can recollect, nearly as follows:-- + +"And now you see, my dear bredren, how unpossible to go to heaven, with +all the faith in the world, without charity. Charity mean, give away. +Suppose you no give--you no ab charity; suppose you no ab charity--you +no ab faith; suppose you no ab faith--you all go to hell and be damned. +Now den, let me see if you ab charity. Here, you see, I come to save all +your soul from hell-fire; and hell-fire dam hot, I can tell you. Dere +you all burn like coal, till you turn white powder, and den burn on till +you come black again; and so you go on, burn, burn, sometime white, +sometime black, for ebber and ebber. The debil never allow Sangoree to +cool tongue. No, no cocoa-nut milk,--not a lilly drap of water; debil +see you damned first. Suppose you ask, he poke um fire, and laugh. Well, +den, ab you charity? No, you ab not. You, Quashee, how you dare look me +in the face? You keep shop--you sell egg--you sell yam--you sell pepper +hot--but when you give to me? Eh! nebber, so help me God. Suppose you no +send--you no ab charity, and you go to hell. You black Sambo," continued +he, pointing to a man in the corner, "ab very fine boat, go out all day, +catch fly-fish, bring um back, fry um, and sell for money; but when you +send to me? not one little fish ebber find way to my mouth. What I tell +you 'bout Peter and 'postles--all fishermen; good men, give 'way to +poor. Sambo, you no ab charity; and 'spose you no repent this week, and +send one very fine fish in plantain leaf, you go to hell, and burn for +ebber and ebber. Eh! so you will run away, Massa Johnson," cried he out +to another, who was edging to the door; "but you no run away from +hell-fire: when debil catch you, he hold dam tight. You know you kill +sheep and goat ebery day. You send bell ring all 'bout town for people +to come buy; but when you send to me? nebber, 'cept once, you gave me +lilly bit of libber. That not do, Massa Johnson; you no ab charity; and +suppose you no send me sheep's head to-morrow morning, dam you libber, +that's all. I see many more, but I see um all very sorry, and dat they +mean to sin no more, so dis time I let um off, and say noting about it, +because I know plenty of plantain and banana (pointing to one) and +oranges and shaddock (pointing to another), and salt fish (pointing to a +fourth), and ginger-pop and spruce beer (pointing to a fifth), and a +straw hat (pointing to a sixth), and eberything else, come to my house +to-morrow. So I say no more 'bout it; I see you all very sorry--you only +forget. You all ab charity, and all ab faith; so now, my dear bredren, +we go down on our knees, and thank God for all this, and more especially +that I save all your souls from going to the debil, who run about +Barbadoes like one roaring lion, seeking what he may lay hold of, and +cram into his dam fiery jaw." + +"That will do, Peter," said O'Brien; "we have the cream of it, I think." + +We left the house, and walked down to the boat. "Surely, O'Brien," said +I, "this should not be permitted?" + +"He's no worse than his neighbours," replied O'Brien, "and perhaps does +less harm. I admire the rascal's ingenuity; he gave his flock what, in +Ireland, we should call a pretty broad hint." + +"Yes, there was no mistaking him: but is he a licensed preacher?" + +"Very little licence in his preaching, I take it; no, I suppose he has +had a _call_." + +"A call!--what do you mean?" + +"I mean that he wants to fill his belly. Hunger is a call of nature, +Peter." + +"He seems to want a good many things, if we were to judge by his +catalogue; what a pity it is that these poor people are not better +instructed." + +"That they never will be, Peter, while there is what may be called free +trade in religion." + +"You speak like a Catholic, O'Brien." + +"I am one," replied he. And here our conversation ended, for we were +close to the boat, which was waiting for us on the beach. + +The next day a man-of-war brig arrived from England, bringing letters +for the squadron on the station. I had two from my sister Ellen which +made me very uncomfortable. She stated that my father had seen my uncle, +Lord Privilege, and had had high words with him; indeed, as far as she +could ascertain of the facts, my father had struck my uncle, and had +been turned out of the house by the servants; that he had returned in a +state of great excitement, and was very ill ever since; that there was a +great deal of talk in the neighbourhood on the subject, people generally +highly blaming my father's conduct, thinking that he was deranged in his +intellect--a supposition very much encouraged by my uncle. She again +expressed her hopes of my speedy return. I had now been absent nearly +three years, and she had been so uncomfortable that she felt as if it +had been at least ten. O'Brien also received a letter from Father +M'Grath, which I shall lay before the reader:-- + + "MY DEAR SON,--Long life, and all the blessings of all the saints be + upon you now and for evermore! Amen. And may you live to be married, + and may I dance at your wedding, and may you never want children, and + may they grow up as handsome as their father and their mother (whoever + she may hereafter be), and may you die of a good old age, and in the + true faith, and be waked handsomely, as your own father was last + Friday s'ennight, seeing as how he took it into his head to leave this + world for a better. It was a very dacent funeral-procession, my dear + Terence, and your father must have been delighted to see himself so + well attinded. No man ever made a more handsome corpse, considering + how old, and thin, and haggard he had grown of late, and how gray his + hair had turned. He held the nosegay between his fingers, across his + breast as natural as life, and reminded us all of the blessed saint, + Pope Gregory, who was called to glory some hundred years before either + you or I was born. + + "Your mother's quite comfortable; and there she sits in her ould + chair, rocking to and fro all day long, and never speaking a word to + nobody, thinking about heaven, I dare to say; which is just what she + ought to do, seeing that she stands a very pretty chance of going + there in the course of a month or so. Divil a word has she ever said + since your father's departure, but then she screamed and yelled enough + to last for seven years at the least. She screamed away all her senses + anyhow, for she has done nothing since but cough, cough, and fumble at + her pater-nosters--a very blessed way to pass the remainder of her + days, seeing that I expect her to drop every minute like an over-ripe + sleepy pear. So don't think any more about her, my son, for without + you are back in a jiffy, her body will be laid in consecrated ground, + and her happy, blessed soul in purgatory. _Pax vobiscum._ Amen! amen! + + "And now having disposed of your father and your mother so much to + your satisfaction, I'll just tell you that Ella's mother died in the + convent at Dieppe, but whether she kept her secret or not I do not + know; but this I do know, that if she didn't relieve her soul by + confession, she's damned to all eternity. Thanks be to God for all his + mercies. Amen! Ella Flanagan is still alive, and, for a nun, is as + well as can be expected. I find that she knows nothing at all about + the matter of the exchanging the genders of the babbies--only that her + mother was on oath to Father M'Dermot, who ought to be hanged, drawn, + and quartered instead of those poor fellows whom the government called + rebels, but who were no more rebels than Father M'Grath himself, + who'll uphold the Pretender, as they call our true Catholic king, as + long as there's life in his body or a drop of whiskey left in ould + Ireland to drink his health wid.-- + + "Talking about Father M'Dermot puts me in mind that the bishop has not + yet decided our little bit of a dispute, saying that he must take time + to think about it. Now, considering that it's just three years since + the row took place, the old gentleman must be a very slow thinker not + to have found out by this time that I was in the right, and that + Father M'Dermot, the baste, is not good enough to be hanged. + + "Your two married sisters are steady and diligent young women, having + each made three children since you last saw them. Fine boys, every + mother's son of them, with elegant spacious features, and famous + mouths for taking in whole potatoes. By the powers, but the offsets of + the tree of the O'Briens begin to make a noise in the land, anyhow, as + you would say if you only heard them roaring for their bit of suppers. + + "And now, my dear son Terence, the real purport of this letter, which + is just to put to your soul's conscience, as a dutiful son, whether + you ought not to send me a small matter of money to save your poor + father's soul from pain and anguish--for it's no joke that being in + purgatory, I can tell you; and you wouldn't care how soon you were + tripped out of it yourself. I only wish you had but your little toe in + it, and then you'd burn with impatience to have it out again. But + you're a dutiful son, so I'll say no more about it--a nod's as good as + a wink to a blind horse. + + "When your mother goes, which, with the blessing of God, will be in a + very little while, seeing that she has only to follow her senses, + which are gone already, I'll take upon myself to sell everything, as + worldly goods and chattels are of no use to dead people; and I have no + doubt but that, what with the furniture and the two cows, and the + pigs, and the crops in the ground, there will be enough to save her + soul from the flames, and bury her dacently into the bargain. However, + as you are the heir-at-law, seeing that the property is all your own, + I'll keep a debtor and creditor account of the whole; and should there + be any over, I'll use it all out in masses, so as to send her up to + heaven by express; and if there's not sufficient, she must remain + where she is till you come back and make up the deficiency. In the + meanwhile I am your loving father in the faith, + + "URTAGH M'GRATH." + + + + +Chapter LII + +Good sense in Swinburne--No man a hero to his valet de chambre, or a +prophet in his own country--O'Brien takes a step by strategy--O'Brien +parts with his friend, and Peter's star no longer in the ascendant. + + +O'Brien was sorry for the death of his father, but he could not feel as +most people would have done, as his father had certainly never been a +father to him. He was sent to sea to be got rid of, and ever since he +had been there, had been the chief support of his family; his father was +very fond of whiskey, and not very fond of exertion. He was too proud of +the true Milesian blood in his veins to do anything to support himself, +but not too proud to live upon his son's hard-earned gains. For his +mother O'Brien felt very much; she had always been kind and +affectionate, and was very fond of him. Sailors, however, are so +estranged from their families when they have been long in their +profession and so accustomed to vicissitudes, that no grief for the loss +of a relation lasts very long, and in a week O'Brien had recovered his +usual spirits, when a vessel brought us the intelligence that a French +squadron had been seen off St Domingo. This put us all on the _qui +vive_. O'Brien was sent for by the admiral, and ordered to hasten his +brig for sea with all possible despatch, as he was to proceed with +despatches to England forthwith. In three days we were reported ready, +received our orders, and at eight o'clock in the evening made sail from +Carlisle Bay. "Well, Mr Swinburne," said I, "how do you like your new +situation?" + +"Why, Mr Simple, I like it well enough; and it's not disagreeable to be +an officer, and sit in your own cabin; but still I feel that I should +get on better if I were in another ship. I've been hail-fellow well met +with the ship's company so long, that I can't top the officer over them, +and we can't get the duty done as smart as I could wish: and then at +night I find it very lonely stuck up in my cabin like a parson's clerk, +and nobody to talk to; for the other warrants are particular, and say +that I'm only acting, and may not be confirmed, so they hold aloof. I +don't much like being answerable for all that lot of gunpowder--it's +queer stuff to handle." + +"Very true, Swinburne; but still, if there were no responsibility, we +should require no officers. You recollect that you are now provided for +life, and will have half-pay." + +"That's what made me bite, Mr Simple. I thought of the old woman, and +how comfortable it would make her in her old age; and so, d'ye see, I +sacrificed myself." + +"How long have you been married, Swinburne?" + +"Ever since Christmas '94. I wasn't going to be hooked carelessly, so I +nibbled afore I took the bait. Had four years' trial of her first, and, +finding that she had plenty of ballast, I sailed her as my own." + +"How do you mean by plenty of ballast?" + +"I don't mean, Mr Simple, a broad bow and square hulk. You know very +well that if a vessel has not ballast, she's bottom up in no time. Now, +what keeps a woman stiff under her canvas is her modesty." + +"Very true; but it's a rare commodity on the beach." + +"And why, Mr Simple? because liquor is more valued. Many a good man has +found it to be his bane; and as for a woman, when once she takes to it, +she's like a ship without a rudder, and goes right before the wind to +the devil. Not that I think a man ought not to take a nor-wester or two, +when he can get them. Rum was not given by God Almighty only to make the +niggers dance, but to make all our hearts glad; neither do I see why a +woman is to stand out neither; what's good for Jack can't hurt Poll; +only there is a medium, as they say, in all things, and half-an-half is +quite strong enough." + +"I should think it was," replied I, laughing. + +"But don't be letting me prevent you from keeping a look-out, Mr +Simple.--You, Hoskins, you're half a point off the wind. Luff you may.-- +I think, Mr Simple, that Captain O'Brien didn't pick out the best man, +when he made Tom Alsop a quarter-master in my place." + +"Why, he is a very steady, good man, Swinburne." + +"Yes, so he is; but he has natural defects, which shouldn't be +overlooked. I doubt if he can see so far as the head of the mainsail." + +"I was not aware of that." + +"No, but I was. Alsop wants to sarve out his time for his pension, and +when he has sarved, you see if, when the surgeons examine him, they +don't invalid him, as blind as a bat. I should like to have him as +gunner's mate, and that's just what he's fit for. But, Mr Simple, I +think we shall have some bad weather. The moon looks greasy, and the +stars want snuffing. You'll have two reefs in the topsails afore +morning. There's five bells striking. Now I'll turn in; if I didn't keep +half the first, and half the morning watch, I shouldn't sleep all the +night. I miss my regular watch very much, Mr Simple--habit's everything +--and I don't much fancy a standing bed-place, it's so large, and I feel +so cold of my sides. Nothing like a hammock, after all. Good-night, Mr +Simple." + +Our orders were to proceed with all _possible_ despatch; and O'Brien +carried on day and night, generally remaining up himself till one or two +o'clock in the morning. We had very favourable weather, and in a little +more than a month we passed the Lizard. The wind being fair, we passed +Plymouth, ran up Channel, and anchored at Spithead. + +After calling upon the admiral, O'Brien set off for town with his +despatches, and left me in command of the ship. In three days I received +a letter from him, informing me that he had seen the First Lord, who had +asked him a great many questions concerning the station he had quitted; +that he had also complimented O'Brien on his services. "On that hint I +spake," continued O'Brien; "I ventured to insinuate to his lordship, +that I had hoped I had earned my promotion; and as there is nothing like +_quartering on the enemy_, I observed that I had not applied to Lord +Privilege, as I considered my services would have been sufficient, +without any application on his part. His lordship returned a very +gracious answer: said that my Lord Privilege was a great ally of his, +and very friendly to the government; and inquired when I was going to +see him. I replied, that I certainly should not pay my respects to his +lordship at present, unless there was occasion for it, as I must take a +more favourable opportunity. So I hope that good may come from the great +lord's error, which, of course, I shall not correct, as I feel I deserve +my promotion--and you know, Peter, if you can't gain it by _hook_, you +must by _crook_." He then concluded his letter; but there was a +postscript as follows: + +"Wish me joy, my dear Peter. I have this moment received a letter from +the private secretary, to say that I am _posted_, and appointed to the +_Semiramis_ frigate, about to set sail for the East Indies. She is all +ready to start; and now I must try to get you with me, of which I have +no doubt; as, although her officers have been long appointed there will +be little difficulty of success, when I mention your relationship to +Lord Privilege, and while they remain in error as to his taking an +interest in my behalf." I rejoiced at O'Brien's good fortune. His +promotion I had considered certain, as his services had entitled him to +it; but the command of so fine a frigate must have been given upon the +supposition that it would be agreeable to my uncle, who was not only a +prime supporter, but a very useful member, of the Tory Government. I +could not help laughing to myself, at the idea of O'Brien obtaining his +wishes from the influence of a person who probably detested him as much +as one man could detest another; and I impatiently waited for O'Brien's +next letter, by which I hoped to find myself appointed to the +_Semiramis_; but a sad _contretemps_ took place. + +O'Brien did not write; but came down two days afterwards, hastened on +board the _Semiramis_, read his commission, and assumed the command +before even he had seen me; he then sent his gig on board of the +_Rattlesnake_ to desire me to come to him directly. I did so, and we +went down into the cabin of the frigate. "Peter," said he, "I was +obliged to hasten down and read myself captain of this ship, as I am in +fear that things are not going on well. I had called to pay my respects +at the Admiralty, previous to joining, and was kicking my heels in the +waiting-room, when who should walk up the passage, as if he were a +captain on his own quarter-deck, but your uncle, Lord Privilege. His eye +met mine--he recognised me immediately--and, if it did not flash fire, +it did something very like it. He asked a few questions of one of the +porters, and was giving his card, when my name was called for. I passed +him, and up I went to the First Lord, thanked him for the frigate; and +having received a great many compliments upon my exertions in the West +India station, made my bow and retired. I had intended to have requested +your appointment, but I knew that your name would bring up Lord +Privilege's; and, moreover, your uncle's card was brought up and laid +upon the table while I was sitting there. The First Lord, I presume, +thought that his lordship was come to thank him for his kindness to me, +which only made him more civil. I made my bow and went down, when I met +the eye of Lord Privilege; who looked daggers at me as he walked up +stairs--for, of course, he was admitted immediately after my audience +was finished. Instead of waiting to hear the result of the explanation, +I took a post-chaise, and have come down here as fast as four horses can +bring me, and have read myself in--for, Peter, I feel sure, that if not +on board, my commission will be cancelled; and I know that if once in +command, as I am now, I can call for a court-martial, to clear my +character if I am superseded. I know that the Admiralty _can_ do +anything, but still they will be cautious in departing from the rules of +the service, to please even Lord Privilege. I looked up at the sky as +soon as I left the Admiralty portico, and was glad to see that the +weather was so thick, and the telegraph not at work, or I might have +been too late. Now I'll go on shore, and report myself to the admiral, +as having taken the command of the _Semiramis_." + +O'Brien went on shore to report himself, was well received by the +admiral, who informed him, that if he had any arrangements to make, he +could not be too soon, as he should not be surprised if his sailing +orders came down the next morning. This was very annoying, as I could +not see how I should be able to join O'Brien's ship, even if I could +effect an exchange, in so short a time. I therefore hastened on board of +the _Semiramis_, and applied to the officers to know if any of them were +willing to exchange into the _Rattlesnake_; but, although they did not +much like going to the East Indies, they would not exchange into a brig, +and I returned disappointed. The next morning, the admiral sent for +O'Brien, and told him confidentially, for he was the same admiral who +had received O'Brien when he had escaped from prison with me, and was +very kind to him, that there was some _hitch_ about his having the +_Semiramis_, and that orders had come down to pay her off, all standing, +and examine her bottom, if Captain O'Brien had not joined her. "Do you +understand what this means?" said the admiral, who was anxious to know +the reason. + +O'Brien answered frankly, that Lord Privilege, by whose interest he had +obtained his former command, was displeased with him; and that, as he +saw him go up to the First Lord, he had no doubt but that his lordship +had said something to his disadvantage, as he was a very vindictive man. + +"Well," said the admiral, "it's lucky that you have taken the command, +as they cannot well displace you, or send her into dock without a +survey, and upon your representation." + +And so it proved; the First Lord, when he found that O'Brien had joined, +took no further steps, but allowed the frigate to proceed to her +intended destination. But all chance of my sailing with him was done +away, and now, for the first time, I had to part with O'Brien. I +remained with him the whole time that I could be spared from my duties. +O'Brien was very much annoyed, but there was no help. "Never mind, +Peter," said he, "I've been thinking that perhaps it's all for the best. +You will see more of the world, and be no longer in leading-strings. You +are now a fine man grown up, big enough and ugly enough, as they say, to +take care of yourself. We shall meet again; and if we don't, why then, +God bless you, my boy, and don't forget O'Brien." + +Three days afterwards, O'Brien's orders came down. I accompanied him on +board; and it was not until the ship was under weigh, and running +towards the Needles with a fair wind, that I shook hands with him, and +shoved off. Parting with O'Brien was a heavy blow to me; but I little +knew how much I was to suffer before I saw him again. + + + + +Chapter LIII + +I am pleased with my new captain--Obtain leave to go home--Find my +father afflicted with a very strange disease, and prove myself a very +good doctor, although the disorder always breaks out in a fresh place. + + +The day after O'Brien had sailed for the East Indies, the dockyard men +came on board to survey the brig, and she was found so defective as to +be ordered into dock. I had received letters from my sister, who was +overjoyed at the intelligence of my safe return, and the anticipation of +seeing me. The accounts of my father were, however, very unsatisfactory. +My sister wrote, that disappointment and anxiety had had such an effect +upon him, that he was deranged in his intellects. Our new captain came +down to join us. He was a very young man, and had never before commanded +a ship. His character as lieutenant was well known, and not very +satisfactory, being that of a harsh, unpleasant officer; but, as he had +never been first lieutenant, it was impossible to say what he might +prove when in command of a ship. Still we were a little anxious about +it, and severely regretted the loss of O'Brien. He came on board the +hulk to which the ship's company's had been turned over, and read his +commission. He proved to be all affability, condescension, and +good-nature. To me, he was particularly polite, stating that he should +not interfere with me in carrying on the duty, as I must be so well +acquainted with the ship's company. We thought that those who gave us +the information must have been prejudiced or mistaken in his character. +During the half hour that he remained on board, I stated, that now that +the brig was in dock, I should like very much to have an opportunity of +seeing my friends, if he would sanction my asking for leave. To this he +cheerfully consented, adding, that he would extend it upon his own +responsibility. My letter to the Admiralty was therefore forwarded +through him, and was answered in the affirmative. The day afterwards, I +set off by the coach, and once more embraced my dear sister. + +After the first congratulations were over, I inquired about my father; +she replied, that he was so wild that nobody could manage him. That he +was melancholy and irritable at the same time, and was certainly +deranged, fancying himself to be made of various substances, or to be in +a certain trade or capacity. That he generally remained in this way four +or five days, when he went to bed, and slept for twenty-four hours, or +more, and awoke with some new strange imagination in his head. His +language was violent, but that, in other respects, he seemed to be more +afraid of other people, than inclined to be mischievous, and that every +day he was getting more strange and ridiculous. He had now just risen +from one of his long naps, and was in his study; that before he had +fallen asleep he had fancied himself to be a carpenter, and had sawed +and chopped up several articles of furniture in the house. + +I quitted my sister to see my father, whom I found in his easy-chair. I +was much shocked at his appearance. He was thin and haggard, his eye was +wild, and he remained with his mouth constantly open. A sick-nurse, who +had been hired by my sister, was standing by him. + +"Pish, pish, pish, pish!" cried my father; "what can you, a stupid old +woman, know about my inside? I tell you the gas is generating fast, and +even now I can hardly keep on my chair. I'm lifting--lifting now; and if +you don't tie me down with cords, I shall go up like a balloon." + +"Indeed, sir," replied the woman, "it's only the wind in your stomach. +You'll break it off directly." + +"It's inflammable gas, you old Hecate!--I know it is. Tell me, will you +get a cord, or will you not? Hah! who's that--Peter? Why you've dropped +from the clouds, just in time to see me mount up to them." + +"I hope you feel yourself better, sir," said I. + +"I feel myself a great deal lighter every minute. Get a cord, Peter, and +tie me to the leg of the table." + +I tried to persuade him that he was under a mistake; but it was useless. +He became excessively violent, and said I wished him in heaven. As I had +heard that it was better to humour people afflicted with +hypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my father +laboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that if +we could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a good plan." + +"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully. + +"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of course +draw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth." + +"My dear Peter, you have saved my life: be quick, though, or I shall go +up, right through the ceiling." + +Fortunately, there was an instrument of that description in the house. I +applied it to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air, +and re-applied it. In two minutes he pronounced himself better, and I +left the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerably +pacified. I returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had passed; +but it was no source of mirth to us, although, had it happened to an +indifferent person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her, +as I must soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by my +father's unfortunate malady, was very distressing. But we entered into a +long conversation, in which I recounted the adventures that had taken +place since I had left her, and for the time forgot our source of +annoyance and regret. For three days my father insisted upon the old +woman pumping the gas out of his body; after that, he again fell into +one of his sleeps, which lasted nearly thirty hours. + +When he arose, I went again to see him. It was eight o'clock in the +evening, and I entered with a candle. "Take it away--quick, take it +away; put it out carefully." + +"Why, what's the matter, sir?" + +"Don't come near me, if you love me; don't come near me. Put it out, I +say--put it out." + +I obeyed his orders, and then asked him the reason. "Reason!" said he, +now that we were in the dark; "can't you see?" + +"No, father; I can see nothing in the dark." + +"Well, then, Peter, I'm a magazine, full of gunpowder; the least spark +in the world, and I am blown up. Consider the danger. You surely would +not be the destruction of your father, Peter?" and the poor old +gentleman burst into tears, and wept like a child. + +I knew that it was in vain to reason with him. "My dear father," said I, +"on board ship, when there is any danger of this kind, we always _float_ +the magazine. Now, if you were to drink a good deal of water, the powder +would be spoiled, and there would be no danger." My father was satisfied +with my proposal, and drank a tumbler of water every half-hour, which +the old nurse was obliged to supply as fast as he called for it; and +this satisfied him for three or four days, and I was again left to the +company of my dear Ellen, when my father again fell into his stupor, and +we wondered what would be his next fancy. I was hastily summoned by the +nurse, and found my poor father lying in bed, and breathing in a very +strange manner. "What is the matter, my dear sir?" inquired I. + +"Why don't you see what is the matter? How is a poor little infant, just +born, to live, unless its mother is near to suckle it, and take care of +it?" + +"Indeed, sir, do you mean to say that you are just born?" + +"To be sure I do. I'm dying for the breast." + +This was almost too absurd; but I gravely observed, "That it was all +very true, but unfortunately his mother had died in childbirth, and the +only remedy was to bring him up by hand." + +He agreed with me. I desired the nurse to make some gruel with brandy, +and feed him; which she did, and he took the gruel just as if he were a +baby. I was about to wish him goodnight, when he beckoned to me, and +said, "Peter, she hasn't changed my napkin." This was too much, and I +could not help laughing. I told the nurse what he said, and she replied, +"Lord bless you, sir, what matter? if the old gentleman takes a fancy, +why not indulge him? I'll fetch the kitchen table-cloth." This fit +lasted about six days; for he went to sleep, because a baby always slept +much: and I was in hopes it would last much longer: but he again went +off into his lethargic fit, and, after a long sleep, awoke with a new +fancy. My time had nearly expired, and I had written to my new captain, +requesting an extension of leave, but I received an answer stating that +it could not be granted, and requesting me to join the brig immediately. +I was rather surprised at this, but of course was compelled to obey; +and, embracing my dear sister once more, set off for Portsmouth. I +advised her to humour my father, and this advice she followed; but his +fancies were such, occasionally, as would have puzzled the most +inventive genius to combat, or to find the remedy which he might +acknowledge to be requisite. His health became certainly worse and +worse, and his constitution was evidently destroyed by a slow, +undermining, bodily and mental fever. The situation of my poor sister +was very distressing; and I quitted her with melancholy forebodings. + +I ought here to observe that I received all my prize-money, amounting to +£1560, a large sum for a lieutenant. I put it into the funds, and gave a +power of attorney to Ellen, requesting her to use it as her own. We +consulted as to what she should do if my father should die, and agreed +that all his debts, which we knew to amount to three or four hundred +pounds, should be paid, and that she should manage how she could upon +what was left of my father's property, and the interest of my +prize-money. + + + + +Chapter LIV + +We receive our sailing orders, and orders of every description--A +quarter-deck conversation--Listeners never hear any good of themselves. + + +When I arrived at Portsmouth, I reported myself to the captain, who +lived at the hotel. I was ushered into his room to wait for him, as he +was dressing to dine with the admiral. My eyes naturally turned to what +lay on the table, merely from the feeling which one has to pass away the +time, not from curiosity; and I was much surprised to see a pile of +letters, the uppermost of which was franked by Lord Privilege. This, +however, might be merely accidental; but my curiosity was excited, and I +lifted up the letter, and found that the second, the third, and indeed +at least ten of these were franked by my uncle. I could not imagine how +there could be any intimacy between him and my uncle, and was reflecting +upon it when Captain Hawkins, for that was his name, entered the room. +He was very kind and civil, apologized for not being able to extend my +leave, which, he said, was because he had consulted the admiral, who +would not sanction the absence of the first lieutenant, and had very +peremptorily desired he would recall me immediately. I was satisfied: he +shook my hand, and we parted. On my arrival on board the hulk, for the +brig was still in dock, I was warmly received by my messmates. They told +me that the captain had, generally speaking, been very civil, but that, +occasionally, the marks of the cloven foot appeared. + +"Webster," said I, to the second lieutenant, "do you know anything about +his family or connections?" + +"It is a question I have asked of those who have sailed with him, and +they all say that he never speaks of his own family, but very often +boasts of his intimacy with the nobility. Some say that he is a +_bye-blow_ of some great man." + +I reflected very much upon this, and connecting it with the numerous +franks of Lord Privilege, which I saw on the table, had my misgivings; +but then I knew that I could do my duty, and had no reason to fear any +man. I resolved, in my own mind, to be very correct, and put it out of +the power of any one to lay hold of me, and then dismissed the subject. +The brig was repaired and out of dock, and for some days I was very busy +getting her ready for sea. I never quitted her; in fact, I had no wish. +I never had any taste for bad company and midnight orgies, and I had no +acquaintance with the respectable portion of the inhabitants of +Portsmouth. At last the ship's company were removed into the brig: we +went out of harbour, and anchored at Spithead. + +Captain Hawkins came on board and gave me an order-book, saying, "Mr +Simple, I have a great objection to written orders, as I consider that +the articles of war are quite sufficient to regulate any ship. Still, a +captain is in a very responsible situation, and if any accident occurs +he is held amenable. I therefore have framed a few orders of my own for +the interior discipline of the vessel, which may probably save me +harmless, in case of being _hauled over the coals_; but not with any +wish that they should interfere with the comforts of the officers, only +to guard against any mischance, of which the _onus_ may fall upon +myself." + +I received the order-book, and the captain went ashore. When I went down +into the gun-room, to look through it, I at once perceived that if +rigidly conformed to, every officer in the ship would be rendered +uncomfortable; and if not conformed to, I should be the party that was +answerable. I showed it to Webster, who agreed with me, and gave it as +his opinion that the captain's good nature and amiability were all a +blind, and that he was intending to lay hold of us as soon as it was in +his power. I therefore called all the officers together, and told them +my opinion. Webster supported me, and it was unanimously agreed that the +orders should be obeyed, although not without remonstrance. The major +part of the orders, however, only referred to the time that the brig was +in harbour; and, as we were about to proceed to sea, it was hardly worth +while saying anything at present. The orders for the sailing of the brig +came down, and by the same post I received a letter from my sister +Ellen, stating that they had heard from Captain Fielding, who had +immediately written to Bombay, where the regiment was stationed, and had +received an answer, informing him that there was no married man in the +regiment of the name of Sullivan, and no woman who had followed that +regiment of that name. This at once put an end to all our researches +after the wet-nurse, who had been confined in my uncle's house. Where +she had been sent, it was of course impossible to say; but I gave up all +chance of discovering my uncle's treachery; and, as I thought of +Celeste, sighed at the little hope I had of ever being united to her. I +wrote a long letter to O'Brien, and the next day we sailed for our +station in the North Sea. + +The captain added a night order-book to the other, and sent it up every +evening, to be returned in the morning, with the signature of every +officer of the night watches. He also required all our signatures to his +general order-book, that we might not say we had not read them. I had +the first watch, when Swinburne came up to me. "Well, Mr Simple, I do +not think we have made much by our exchange of captains; and I have a +shrewd suspicion we shall have squalls ere long." + +"We must not judge too hastily, Swinburne," replied I. + +"No, no--I don't say that we should; but still, one must go a little by +looks in the world, and I'm sure his looks wouldn't help him much. He's +just like a winter's day, short and dirty; and he walks the deck as if +planks were not good enough for his feet. Mr Williams says, he looks as +if he were 'big with the fate of Cato and of Rome:' what that means, I +don't know--some joke, I suppose, for the youngsters are always joking. +Were you ever up the Baltic, Mr Simple? Now I think of it, I know you +never were. I've seen some tight work up there with the gun-boats; and +so we should now with Captain O'Brien; but as for this little man, I've +an idea 'twill be more talk than work." + +"You appear to have taken a great dislike to the captain, Swinburne. I +do not know whether, as first lieutenant, I ought to listen to you." + +"It's because you're first lieutenant that I tell it you, Mr Simple. I +never was mistaken, in the main, of an officer's character, when I could +look him in the face, and hear him talk for half an hour; and I came up +on purpose to put you on your guard: for I feel convinced, that towards +you he means mischief. What does he mean by having the greasy-faced +serjeant of marines in his cabin for half an hour every morning? His +reports as master of arms ought to come through you, as first +lieutenant; but he means him as a spy upon all, and upon you in +particular. The fellow has begun to give himself airs already, and +speaks to the young gentlemen as if they were beneath him. I thought you +might not know it, Mr Simple, so I thought it right to tell you." + +"I am much obliged to you, Swinburne, for your good wishes; but I can do +my duty, and why should I fear anything?" + +"A man may do his duty, Mr Simple; but if a captain is determined to +ruin him, he has the power. I have been longer in the service than you +have, and have been wide awake: only be careful of one thing, Mr Simple; +I beg your pardon for being so free, but in no case lose your temper." + +"No fear of that, Swinburne," replied I. + +"It's very easy to say 'no fear of that,' Mr Simple; but recollect, you +have not yet had your temper tried as some officers have. You have +always been treated like a gentleman; but should you find yourself +treated otherwise, you have too good blood in your veins not to speak--I +am sure of that. I've seen officers insulted and irritated, till no +angel could put up with the treatment--and then for an unguarded word, +which they would have been _swabs_ not to have made use of, sent out of +the service to the devil." + +"But you forget, Swinburne, that the articles of war are made for the +captain as well as for everybody else in the ship." + +"I know that; but still, at court-martials captains make a great +distinction between what a superior says to an inferior, and what an +inferior says to a superior." + +"True," replied I, quoting Shakespeare: + + "'That's in the captain but a choleric word, Which in the soldier is + rank blasphemy.'" + +"Exactly my meaning--I rather think," said Swinburne, "if a captain +calls you no gentleman, you mus'n't say the same to him." + +"Certainly not, but I can demand a court-martial." + +"Yes; and it will be granted: but what do you gain by that? It's like +beating against a heavy gale and a lee tide--thousand to one if you +fetch your port; and if you do, your vessel is strained to pieces, sails +worn as thin as a newspaper, and rigging chafed half through, wanting +fresh serving: no orders for a re-fit, and laid up in ordinary for the +rest of your life. No, no, Mr Simple, the best plan is to grin and bear +it, and keep a sharp look-out; for depend upon it, Mr Simple, in the +best ship's company in the world, a spy captain will always find spy +followers." + +"Do you refer that observation to me, Mr Swinburne?" said a voice from +under the bulwark. I started round, and found the captain, who had crept +upon deck, unperceived by us, during our conversation. Swinburne made no +reply; but touched his hat and walked over to leeward. "I presume, Mr +Simple," said the captain, turning to me, "that you consider yourself +justified in finding fault, and abusing your captain, to an inferior +officer, on His Majesty's quarter-deck." + +"If you heard the previous conversation, sir," replied I, "you must be +aware that we were speaking generally about court-martials. I do not +imagine that I have been guilty of any impropriety in conversing with an +officer upon points connected with the service." + +"You mean then to assert, sir, that the gunner did not refer to me when +he said the words, 'spy captain.'" + +"I acknowledge, sir, that as you were listening unperceived, the term +might appear to refer to you; but the gunner had no idea, at the time, +that you were listening. His observation was, that a spy captain would +always find spy followers. This I take to be a general observation; and +I am sorry that you think otherwise." + +"Very well, Mr Simple," said Captain Hawkins--and he walked down the +companion ladder into his cabin. + +"Now a'n't it odd, Mr Simple, that I should come up with the intention +of being of service to you, and yet get you into such a scrape? However, +perhaps it is all for the best; open war is preferable to watching in +the dark, and stabbing in the back. He never meant to have shown his +colours; but I hit him so hard, that he forgot himself." + +"I suspect that to be the case, Swinburne; but I think that you had +better not talk any more with me to-night." + +"Wish I hadn't talked quite so much, as things have turned out," replied +Swinburne. "Good-night, sir." + +I reflected upon what had passed, and felt convinced that Swinburne was +right in saying that it was better this had occurred than otherwise. I +now knew the ground which I stood upon; and forewarned was being +forearmed. + + + + +Chapter LV + +We encounter a Dutch brig of war--Captain Hawkins very contemplative +near the capstan--Hard knocks, and no thanks for it--Who's afraid?--Men +will talk--The brig goes about on the wrong tack. + + +At daylight the next morning we were off the Texel, and could see the +low sand-hills; but we had scarcely made them out, when the fog in the +offing cleared up, and we made a strange vessel. The hands were turned +up, and all sail made in chase. We made her out to be a brig of war; and +as she altered her course considerably, we had an idea that she was an +enemy. We made the private signal, which was unanswered, and we cleared +for action; the brig making all sail on the starboard tack, and we +following her--she bearing about two miles on our weather bow. The +breeze was not steady; at one time the brig was staggering under her +top-gallant sails, while we had our royals set; at another we would have +hands by the top-gallant sheets and topsail halyards, while she expanded +every stitch of canvas. On the whole, however, in an hour we had neared +about half a mile. Our men were all at their quarters, happy to be so +soon at their old work. Their jackets and hats were thrown off, a +bandana handkerchief tied round their heads, and another, or else their +black silk handkerchiefs, tied round their waists. Every gun was ready, +everything was in its place, and every soul, I was going to say, was +anxious for the set-to; but I rather think I must not include the +captain, who from the commencement, showed no signs of pleasure, and +anything but presence of mind. When we first chased the vessel, it was +reported that it was a merchantman; and it was not until we had broad +daylight, that we discovered her to be a man-of-war. There was one thing +to be said in his favour--he had never been in action in his life. + +The breeze now fell light, and we were both with our sails set, when a +thick fog obscured her from our sight. The fog rolled on till we met it, +and then we could not see ten yards from the brig. This was a source of +great mortification, as we had every chance of losing her. Fortunately, +the wind was settling down fast into a calm, and about twelve o'clock +the sails flapped against the mast. I reported twelve o'clock, and asked +the captain whether we should pipe to dinner. + +"Not yet," replied he; "we will put her head about." + +"Go about, sir?" replied I, with surprise. + +"Yes;" said he, "I'm convinced that the chase is on the other tack at +this moment; and if we do not, we shall lose her." + +"If she goes about, sir," said I, "she must get among the sands, and we +shall be sure of her." + +"Sir," replied he, "when I ask your advice, you will be pleased to give +it. I command this vessel." + +I touched my hat, and turned the hands up about ship, convinced that the +captain wished to avoid the action, as the only chance of escape for the +brig was her keeping her wind in the tack she was on. "'Bout ship--'bout +ship!" cried the men. "What the hell are we going about for?" inquired +they of one another, as they came up the ladder. "Silence there, fore +and aft!" cried I. "Captain Hawkins, I do not think we can get her +round, unless we wear--the wind is very light." + +"Then wear ship, Mr Simple." + +There are times when grumbling and discontent among the seamen is so +participated by the officers, although they do not show it, that the +expressions made use of are passed unheeded. Such was the case at +present. The officers looked at each other, and said nothing; but the +men were unguarded in their expressions. The brig wore gradually round; +and when the men were bracing up the yards, sharp on the other tack, +instead of the "Hurrah!" and "Down with the mark!" they fell back with a +groan. + +"Brace up those yards in silence, there," said I to the men. + +The ropes were coiled down, and we piped to dinner. The captain, who +continued on deck, could not fail to hear the discontented expressions +which occasionally were made use of on the lower deck. He made no +observation, but occasionally looked over the side, to see whether the +brig went through the water. This she did slowly for about ten minutes, +when it fell a perfect calm--so that, to use a common sea phrase, he +gained little by his motion. About half-past one, a slight breeze from +the opposite quarter sprung up--we turned round to it--it increased--the +fog blew away, and, in a quarter of an hour, the chase was again +visible, now upon our lee beam. The men gave three cheers. + +"Silence there, fore and aft," cried the captain, angrily. "Mr Simple, +is this the way that the ship's company have been disciplined under +their late commander, to halloo and bawl whenever they think proper?" + +I was irritated at any reflection upon O'Brien, and I replied, "Yes, +sir; they have been always accustomed to express their joy at the +prospect of engaging the enemy." + +"Very well, Mr Simple," replied he. + +"How are we to shift her head?" inquired the master, touching his hat: +"for the chase?" + +"Of course," replied the captain, who then descended into his cabin. + +"Come, my lads," said Swinburne, as soon as the captain was below, "I +have been going round, and I find that your _pets_ are all in good +fighting order. I promise ye, you sha'n't wait for powder. They'll find +that the _Rattlesnake_ can bite devilish hard yet, I expect."--"Aye, and +without its _head_, too," replied one of the men, who was the Joe Miller +of the brig. The chase, perceiving that she could not escape--for we +were coming up with her, hand over hand, now shortened sail for action, +hoisting Dutch colours. Captain Hawkins again made his appearance on the +quarter-deck, when we were within half a mile of her. + +"Are we to run alongside of her or how?" inquired I. + +"Mr Simple, I command her," replied he, "and want no interference +whatever." + +"Very well, sir," replied I, and I walked to the gangway. + +"Mr Thompson," cried the captain, who appeared to have screwed up his +courage to the right pitch, and had now taken his position for a moment +on one of the carronades; "you will lay the brig right--" + +Bang, bang--whiz, whiz--bang--whiz, came three shots from the enemy, +cleaving the air between our masts. The captain jumped down from the +carronade, and hastened to the capstern, without finishing his sentence. +"Shall we fire when we are ready, sir?" said I; for I perceived that he +was not capable of giving correct orders. + +"Yes--yes, to be sure," replied he, remaining where he was. + +"Thompson," said I to the master, "I think we can manage, in our present +commanding position, to get foul of him, so as to knock away his +jib-boom and fore topmast, and then she can't escape. We have good way +on her." + +"I'll manage it, Simple, or my name's not Thompson," replied the master, +jumping into the quarter-boat, conning the vessel in that exposed +situation, as we received the enemy's fire. + +"Look out, my lads, and pour it into her now, just as you please," said +I to the men. + +The seamen were, however, too well disciplined to take immediate +advantage of my permission; they waited until we passed her, and just as +the master put up his helm, so as to catch her jib-boom between our +masts, the whole broadside was poured into his bow and chess-tree. Her +jib-boom and fore-topgallant went down, and she had so much way through +the water, that we tore clear from her, and rounding to the wind shot +a-head. The enemy, although in confusion from the effects of our +broadside, put up his helm to rake us; we perceived his manoeuvre, and +did the same, and then, squaring our sails, we ran with him before the +wind, engaging broadside to broadside. This continued about half an +hour, and we soon found that we had no fool to play with. The brig was +well fought, and her guns well directed. We had several men taken down +below, and I thought it would be better to engage her even closer. There +was about a cable's length between both vessels, as we ran before the +wind, at about six miles an hour, with a slight rolling motion. + +"Thompson," said I, "let us see if we cannot beat them from their guns. +Let's port the helm and close her, till we can shy a biscuit on board." + +"Just my opinion, Simple; we'll see if they won't make another sort of +running fight of it." + +In a few minutes we were so close on board of her, that the men who +loaded the guns could touch each other with their rammers and sponges. +The men cheered; it was gallantly returned by the enemy, and havoc was +now commenced by the musketry on both sides. The French captain, who +appeared as brave a fellow as ever stepped, stood for some minutes on +the hammocks; I was also holding on by the swifter of the main rigging, +when he took off his hat and politely saluted me. I returned the +compliment; but the fire became too hot, and I wished to get under the +shelter of the bulwark. Still I would not go down first, and the French +captain appeared determined not to be the first either to quit the post +of honour. At last one of our marines hit him in the right arm: he +clapped his hand to the part, as if to point it out to me, nodded, and +was assisted down from the hammocks. I immediately quitted my post, for +I thought it foolish to stand as a mark for forty or fifty soldiers. I +had already received a bullet through the small of my leg. But the +effects of such close fire now became apparent: our guns were only half +manned, our sides terribly cut up, and our sails and rigging in tatters. +The enemy was even worse off, and two broadsides more brought her +mainmast by the board. Our men cheered, and threw in another broadside. +The enemy dropped astern; we rounded to rake her; she also attempted to +round to, but could not until she had cleared away her wreck, and taken +in her foresail, and lowered her topsail. She then continued the action +with as much spirit as ever. + +"He's a fine fellow, by God!" exclaimed Thompson; "I never saw a man +fight his ship better: but we have him. Webster's down, poor fellow!" + +"I'm sorry for it," replied I; "but I'm afraid that there are many poor +fellows who have lost the number of their mess. I think it useless +throwing away the advantage which we now have. He can't escape, and +he'll fight this way for ever. We had better run a-head, repair damages, +and then he must surrender, in his crippled state, when we attack him +again." + +"I agree with you," said Thompson; "the only point is, that it will soon +be dark." + +"I'll not lose sight of him, and he cannot get away. If he puts before +the wind, then we will be at him again." + +We gave him the loaded guns as we forged a-head, and when we were about +half a mile from him, hove-to to repair damages. + +The reader may now ask, "But where was the captain all this time?" My +answer is, that he was at the capstern, where he stood in silence, not +once interfering during the whole action, which was fought by Thompson, +the master, and myself. How he looked, or how he behaved in other points +during the engagement, I cannot pretend to say, for I had no time to +observe him. Even now I was busy knotting the rigging, rousing up new +sails to bend, and getting everything in order, and I should not have +observed him, had he not come up to me; for as soon as we had ceased +firing he appeared to recover himself. He did not, however, first +address me; he commenced speaking to the men. + +"Come, be smart, my lads; send a hand here to swab up the blood. Here, +youngster, run down to the surgeon, and let him know that I wish a +report of the killed and wounded." + +By degrees he talked more, and at last came up to me, "This has been +rather smartish, Mr Simple." + +"Very smart indeed, sir," replied I, and then turned away to give +directions. "Maintop there, send down the hauling line on the starboard +side." + +"Ay, ay, sir." + +"Now then, my lads, clap on, and run it up at once." + +"Maintop, there," hailed the captain, "be a little smarter, or by +G----d, I'll call you down for something." This did not come with a +good grace from one who had done nothing, to those who were working with +all their energy. "Mr Simple," said the captain, "I wish you would carry +on duty with less noise." + +"At all events, he set us that example during the action," muttered the +Joe Miller; and the other men laughed heartily at the implication. In +two hours, during which we had carefully watched the enemy, who still +lay where we left him, we were again ready for action. + +"Shall I give the men their grog now, sir?" said I to the captain; "they +must want it." + +"No, no," replied the captain; "no, no, Mr Simple, I don't like what you +call _Dutch_ courage." + +"I don't think he much does; and this fellow has shown plenty of it," +said the Joe Miller, softly; and the men about him laughed heartily. + +"I think, sir," observed I, "that it is an injustice to this fine ship's +company to hint at their requiring Dutch courage." (Dutch courage is a +term for courage screwed up by drinking freely.) "And I most +respectfully beg leave to observe, that the men have not had their +afternoon's allowance; and, after the fatigues they have undergone, +really require it." + +"I command this ship, sir," replied he. + +"Certainly, sir, I am aware of it," rejoined I. "She is now all ready +for action again, and I wait your orders. The enemy is two miles on the +lee quarter." + +The surgeon here came up with his report. + +"Good heavens!" said the captain, "forty-seven men killed and wounded, +Mr Webster dangerously. Why, the brig is crippled. We can do no more-- +positively, we can do no more." + +"_We can take that brig, anyhow_," cried one of the seamen from a dozen +of the men who were to leeward, expecting orders to renew the attack. + +"What man was that?" cried the captain. + +No one answered. + +"By G----d! this ship is in a state of mutiny, Mr Simple." + +"Will _soon_ be, I think," said a voice from the crowd, which I knew +very well; but the captain, having been but a short time with us, did +not know it. + +"Do you hear that, Mr Simple?" cried the captain. + +"I regret to say that I did hear it, sir; I little thought that ever +such an expression would have been made use of on board of the +_Rattlesnake_." Then, fearing he would ask me the man's name, and to +pretend not to have recognised it, I said, "Who was that who made use of +that expression?" But no one answered; and it was so dark, that it was +impossible to distinguish the men. + +"After such mutinous expressions," observed the captain, "I certainly +will not risk His Majesty's brig under my command, as I should have +wished to have done, even in her crippled state, by again engaging the +enemy. I can only regret that the officers appear as insolent as the +men." + +"Perhaps, Captain Hawkins, you will state in what, and when, I have +proved myself insolent. I cannot accuse myself." + +"I hope the expression was not applied to me, sir," said Thompson, the +master, touching his hat. + +"Silence, gentlemen, if you please. Mr Simple, wear round the ship." + +Whether the captain intended to attack the enemy or not, we could not +tell, but we were soon undeceived; for when we were round, he ordered +her to be kept away until the Dutch brig was on our lee quarter: then +ordering the master to shape his course for Yarmouth, he went down into +the cabin, and sent up word that I might pipe to supper and serve out +the spirits. + +The rage and indignation of the men could not be withheld. After they +went down to supper they gave three heavy groans in concert; indeed, +during the whole of that night, the officers who kept the watches had +great difficulty in keeping the men from venting their feeling, in what +might be almost termed justifiable mutiny. As for myself, I could hardly +control my vexation. The brig was our certain prize; and this was +proved, for the next day she hauled down her colours immediately to a +much smaller man-of-war, which fell in with her, still lying in the same +crippled state; the captain and first lieutenant killed, and nearly +two-thirds of her ship's company either killed or wounded. Had we +attacked her, she would have hauled down her colours immediately, for it +was our last broadside which had killed the captain. As first +lieutenant, I should have received my promotion, which was now lost. I +cried for vexation when I thought of it as I lay in bed. That his +conduct was severely commented upon by the officers in the gun-room, as +well as by the whole ship's company, I hardly need say. Thompson was for +bringing him to a court-martial, which I would most gladly have done, if +it only were to get rid of him; but I had a long conversation with old +Swinburne on the subject, and he proved to me that I had better not +attempt it. "For, d'ye see, Mr Simple, you have no proof. He did not run +down below; he stood his ground on deck, although he did nothing. You +can't _prove_ cowardice, then, although there can be no great doubt of +it. Again, with regard to his not renewing the attack, why, is not a +captain at liberty to decide what is the best for His Majesty's service? +And if he thought, in the crippled state of the brig, so close to the +enemy's coast, that it wasn't advisable, why, it could only be brought +in as an error in judgment. Then there's another thing which must be +remembered, Mr Simple, which is, that no captains sitting on a +court-martial will, if it be possible to extricate him, ever prove +_cowardice_ against a brother captain, because they feel that it's a +disgrace to the whole cloth." + +Swinburne's advice was good, and I gave up all thoughts of proceeding; +still it appeared to me, that the captain was very much afraid that I +would, he was so extremely amiable and polite during our run home. He +said, that he had watched how well I had behaved in the action, and +would not fail to notice it. This was something, but he did not keep his +word: for his despatch was published before we quitted the roadstead, +and not the name of one officer mentioned, only generally saying, that +they conducted themselves to his satisfaction. He called the enemy a +corvette, not specifying whether she was a brig or ship corvette; and +the whole was written in such a bombastic style, that any one would have +imagined that he had fought a vessel of superior force. He stated, at +the end, that as soon as he repaired damages, he wore round, but that +the enemy declined further action. So she did--certainly--for the best +of all possible reasons, that she was too disabled to come down to us. +All this might have been contested; but the enormous list of killed and +wounded proved that we had had a hard fight, and the capture of the brig +afterwards, that we had really overpowered her. So that, on the whole, +Captain Hawkins gained a great deal of credit with some; although +whispers were afloat which came to the ears of the Admiralty, and +prevented him from being posted--the more so, as he had the modesty not +to apply for it. + + + + +Chapter LVI + +Consequences of the action--A ship without a fighting captain is like a +thing without a head--So do the sailors think--A mutiny, and the loss +of our famous ship's company. + + +During our stay at Yarmouth, we were not allowed to put our foot on +shore, upon the plea that we must repair damages, and proceed +immediately to our station; but the real fact was, that Captain Hawkins +was very anxious that we should not be able to talk about the action. +Finding no charges preferred against him, he re-commenced his system of +annoyance. His apartments had windows which looked out upon where the +brig lay at anchor, and he constantly watched all our motions with his +spy-glass, noting down if I did not hoist up boats, &c., exactly at the +hour prescribed in his book of orders, so as to gather a list of charges +against me if he could. This we did not find out until afterwards. + +I mentioned before, that when Swinburne joined us at Plymouth, he had +recommended a figure-head being put on the brig. This had been done at +O'Brien's expense--not in the cheap way recommended by Swinburne, but in +a very handsome manner. It was a large snake coiled up in folds, with +its head darting out in a menacing attitude, and the tail, with its +rattle appeared below. The whole was gilded, and had a very good effect; +but after the dock-yard men had completed the repairs, and the brig was +painted, one night the head of the rattlesnake disappeared. It had been +sawed off by some malicious and evil disposed persons, and no traces of +it were to be found. I was obliged to report this to the captain, who +was very indignant, and offered twenty pounds for the discovery of the +offender; but had he offered twenty thousand he never would have found +out the delinquent. It was, however, never forgotten; for he understood +what was implied by these manoeuvres. A new head was carved, but +disappeared the night after it was fixed on. + +The rage of the captain was without bounds: he turned the hands up, and +declared that if the offender was not given up, he would flog every hand +on board. He gave the ship's company ten minutes, and then prepared to +execute his threat. "Mr Paul, turn the hands up for punishment," said +the captain, in a rage, and descended to his cabin for the articles of +war. When he was down below, the officers talked over the matter. To +flog every man for the crime of one was the height of injustice, but it +was not for us to oppose him; still the ship's company must have seen, +in our countenances, that we shared their feelings. The men were talking +with each other in groups, until they all appeared to have communicated +their ideas on the subject. The carpenters, who had been slowly bringing +aft the gratings, left off the job; the boatswain's mates, who had came +aft, rolled the tails of their cats round the red handles; and every man +walked down below. No one was left on the quarter-deck but the marines +under arms, and the officers. Perceiving this, I desired Mr Paul, the +boatswain, to send the men up to rig the gratings, and the +quarter-masters with their seizings. He came up, and said that he had +called them, but that they did not answer. Perceiving that the ship's +company would break out into open mutiny, if the captain persisted in +his intention, I went down into the cabin, and told the captain the +state of things, and wished for his orders or presence on deck. + +The captain, whose wrath appeared incapable of reflection, immediately +proceeded on deck, and ordered the marines to load with ball-cartridge. +This was done; but, as I was afterwards told by Thompson, who was +standing aft, the marines loaded with powder, and put the balls into +their pockets. They wished to keep up the character of their corps for +fidelity, and at the same time not fire upon men whom they loved as +brothers, and with whom they coincided in opinion. Indeed, we afterwards +discovered that it was a _marine_ who had taken off the _head_ of the +snake a second time. + +The captain then ordered the boatswain to turn the hands up. The +boatswain made his appearance with his right arm in a sling.--"What's +the matter with your arm, Mr Paul?" said I, as he passed me. + +"Tumbled down the hatchway just now--can't move my arm; I must go to the +surgeon as soon as this is over." + +The hands were piped up again, but no one obeyed the order. Thus was the +brig in a state of mutiny. "Mr Simple, go forward to the main hatchway +with the marines, and fire on the lower deck," cried the captain. + +"Sir," said I, "there are two frigates within a cable's length of us; +and would it not be better to send for assistance, without shedding +blood? Besides, sir, you have not yet tried the effect of calling up the +carpenter's and boatswain's mates by name. Will you allow me to go down +first, and bring them to a sense of their duty?" + +"Yes, I presume you know your power; but of this hereafter." + +I went down below and called the men by name. + +"Sir," said one of the boatswain's mates, "the ship's company say that +they will not submit to be flogged." + +"I do not speak to the ship's company generally, Collins," replied I; +"but you are now ordered to rig the gratings, and come on deck. It is an +order that you cannot refuse. Go up directly, and obey it. +Quarter-masters, go on deck with your seizings. When all is ready, you +can then expostulate." The men obeyed my orders; they crawled on deck, +rigged the gratings, and stood by. "All is ready, sir," said I, touching +my hat to the captain. + +"Send the ship's company aft, Mr Paul." + +"Aft, then, all of you, for punishment," cried the boatswain. + +"Yes, it is _all of us for punishment_," cried one voice. "We're all to +flog one another, and then pay off the _jollies_."[1] + +This time the men obeyed the order; they all appeared on the +quarter-deck. "The men are all aft, sir," reported the boatswain. + +"And now, my lads," said the captain, "I'll teach you what mutiny is. +You see the two frigates alongside of us. You had forgotten them, I +suppose, but I hadn't. Here, you scoundrel, Mr Jones"--(this was the Joe +Miller)--"strip, sir. If ever there was mischief in a ship, you are at +the head." + +"Head, sir," said the man, assuming a vacant look; "what head, sir? Do +you mean the snake's head? I don't know anything about it, sir."-- +"Strip, sir!" cried the captain in a rage; "I'll soon bring you to your +senses." + +"If you please, your honour, what have I done to be tied up?" said the +man. + +"Strip, you scoundrel!"--"Well, sir, if you please, it's hard to be +flogged for nothing." The man pulled off his clothes, and walked up to +the grating. The quarter-masters seized him up. + +"Seized up, sir," reported the scoundrel of a sergeant of marines who +acted as the captain's spy. + +The captain looked for the articles of war to read, as is necessary +previous to punishing a man, and was a little puzzled to find one, where +no positive offence had been committed. At last, he pitched upon the one +which refers to combination and conspiracy, and creating discontent. We +all took off our hats as he read it, and he then called Mr Paul, the +boatswain, and ordered him to give the man a dozen. "Please, sir," said +the boatswain, pointing to his arm in a sling, "I can't flog--I can't +lift up my arm."--"Your arm was well enough when I came on board, sir," +cried the captain. + +"Yes, sir; but in hurrying the men up, I slipped down the ladder, and +I'm afraid I've put my shoulder out." + +The captain bit his lips; he fully believed it was a sham on the part of +the boatswain (which indeed it was) to get off flogging the men. "Well, +then, where is the chief boatswain's mate, Miller?" + +"Here, sir," said Miller, coming forward: a stout, muscular man, nearly +six feet high, with a pig-tail nearly four feet long, and his open +breast covered with black, shaggy hair. + +"Give that man a dozen, sir," said the captain. + +The man looked at the captain, then at the ship's company, and then at +the man seized up, but did not commence the punishment. + +"Do you hear me, sir?" roared the captain. + +"If you please, your honour, I'd rather take my disrating--I--don't wish +to be chief boatswain's mate in this here business." + +"Obey your orders, immediately, sir," cried the captain; "or, by God, +I'll try you for mutiny." + +"Well, sir, I beg your pardon; but what must be, must be. I mean no +disrespect, Captain Hawkins, but I cannot flog that man--my conscience +won't let me." + +"Your _conscience_, sir!" + +"Beg your pardon, Captain Hawkins, I've always done my duty, foul +weather or fair; and I've been eighteen years in His Majesty's service, +without ever being brought to punishment; but if I am to be hung now, +saving your pleasure, and with all respect, I can't help it." + +"I give you but one moment more, sir," cried the captain; "do your +duty." The man looked at the captain, and then eyed the yard-arm. +"Captain Hawkins, I will _do my duty_, although I must swing for it." So +saying he threw his cat down on the quarter-deck, and fell back among +the ship's company. + +The captain was now confounded, and hardly knew how to act: to persevere +appeared useless--to fall back was almost as impossible. A dead silence +of a minute ensued. Every one was breathless with impatience, to know +what would be done next. The silence was, however, first broken by +Jones, the Joe Miller, who was seized up. "Beg your honour's pardon, +sir," said he, turning his head round; "but if I am to be flogged, will +you be pleased to let me have it over? I shall catch my death a-cold, +naked here all day." This was decided mockery, on the part of the man, +and roused the captain. + +"Sergeant of marines, put Miller and that man Collins, both legs in +irons, for mutiny. My men, I perceive that there is a conspiracy in the +ship, but I shall very soon put an end to it: I know the men, and, by +God, they shall repent it. Mr Paul, pipe down. Mr Simple, man my gig; +and recollect, it's my positive orders that no boat goes on shore." The +captain left the brig, looking daggers at me as he went over the side; +but I had done my duty, and cared little for that; indeed, I was now +watching his conduct as carefully as he did mine. + +"The captain wishes to tell his own story first," said Thompson, coming +up to me. "Now, if I were you, Simple, I would take care that the real +facts should be known." + +"How's that to be done," replied I; "he has ordered no communication +with the shore." + +"Simply by sending an officer on board of each of the frigates to state +that the brig is in a state of mutiny, and request that they will keep a +look-out upon her. This is no more than your duty as commanding officer; +you only send the message, leave me to state the facts of my own accord. +Recollect that the captains of these frigates will be summoned, if there +is a court of inquiry, which I expect will take place." + +I considered a little, and thought the advice good. I despatched +Thompson first to one frigate, and then to the other. The next day the +captain came on board. As soon as he stepped on the quarter-deck he +inquired how I dare disobey his orders in sending the boats away. My +reply was that his orders were, not to communicate with the shore, but +that, as commanding officer, I considered it my duty to make known to +the other ships that the men were in a state of insubordination, that +they might keep their eyes upon us. He _kept his eyes_ upon me for some +time, and then turned away without reply. As we expected, a court of +inquiry was called, upon his representations to the admiral. About +twenty of the men were examined, but so much came out as to the _reason +why_ the head of the snake had been removed--for the sailors spoke +boldly--that the admiral and officers who were appointed strongly +recommended Captain Hawkins not to proceed further than to state that +there were some disaffected characters in the ship, and move the admiral +to have them exchanged into others. This was done, and the captains of +the frigates, who immediately gave their advice, divided all our best +men between them. They spoke very freely to me, and asked me who were +the best men, which I told them honestly, for I was glad to be able to +get them out of the power of Captain Hawkins; these they marked as +disaffected, and exchanged them for all the worst they had on board. The +few that were left ran away, and thus, from having one of the finest and +best organised ship's companies in the service, we were now one of the +very worst. Miller was sent on board of the frigate, and under +surveillance: he soon proved that his character was as good as I stated +it to be, and two years afterwards was promoted to the rank of +boatswain. Webster, the second lieutenant, would not rejoin us, and +another was appointed. I must here remark, that there is hardly any +degree of severity which a captain may not exert towards his seamen, +provided they are confident of, or he has proved to them, his courage; +but if there be a doubt, or a confirmation to the contrary, all +discipline is destroyed by contempt, and the ship's company mutiny, +either directly or indirectly. There is an old saying, that all tyrants +are cowards; that tyranny is in itself a species of meanness, I +acknowledge: but still the saying ought to be modified. If it is +asserted that all mean tyrants are cowards, I agree; but I have known in +the service most special tyrants, who were not cowards: their tyranny +was excessive, but there was no meanness in their dispositions. On the +contrary, they were generous, open-hearted, and, occasionally, when not +influenced by anger, proved that their hearts, if not quite right, were +not very much out of their places. Yet they were tyrants; but, although +tyrants, the men forgave them, and one kind act, when they were not led +away by the impetuosity of their feelings, obliterated a hundred acts of +tyranny. But such is not the case in our service with men who, in their +tyranny, are mean; the seamen show no quarter to them, and will undergo +all the risk which the severity of the articles of war renders them +liable to, rather than not express their opinion of a man whom they +despise. I do not like to mention names, but I could point out specimens +of brave tyrants, and of cowardly tyrants who have existed, and do even +now exist in our service. The present regulations have limited tyranny +to a certain degree, but it cannot check the _mean_ tyrant; for it is +not in points of consequence, likely to be brought before the notice of +his superiors, that he effects his purpose. He resorts to paltry +measures--he smiles that he may betray--he confines himself within the +limit that may protect him; and he is never exposed, unless by his +courage being called in question, which but rarely occurs; and when it +does occur it is most difficult, as well as most dangerous, to attempt +to prove it. It may be asked why I did not quit the ship, after having +been aware of the character of the captain, and the enmity which he bore +to me. In reply, I can only say that I did often think of it, talked +over the subject with my messmates, but they persuaded me to remain, +and, as I was a first lieutenant, and knew that any successful action +would, in all probability, insure my promotion, I determined, to use a +nautical expression, to rough it out, and not throw away the only chance +which I now had of obtaining my rank as commander. + +[Footnote 1: Marines.] + + + + +Chapter LVII + +News from home not very agreeable, although the reader may laugh--We +arrive at Portsmouth, where I fall in with my old acquaintance, Mrs +Trotter--We sail with a convoy for the Baltic. + + +I had written to my sister Ellen, giving her an account of all that had +passed, and mentioning the character of the captain, and his apparent +intimacy with my uncle. I received an answer from her, telling me that +she had discovered, from a very communicative old maiden lady, that +Captain Hawkins was an illegitimate son of my uncle, by a lady with whom +he had been acquainted about the time that he was in the army. I +immediately conceived the truth, that my uncle had pointed me out to him +as an object of his vengeance, and that Captain Hawkins was too dutiful +and too dependent a son not to obey him. The state of my father was more +distressing than ever, but there was something very ludicrous in his +fancies. He had fancied himself a jackass, and had brayed for a week, +kicking the old nurse in the stomach, so as to double her up like a +hedgehog. He had taken it into his head that he was a pump; and, with +one arm held out as a spout, he had obliged the poor old nurse to work +the other up and down for hours together. At another time, he had an +idea that he was a woman in labour, and they were obliged to give him a +strong dose of calomel, and borrow a child of six years old from a +neighbour, to make him believe that he was delivered. He was perfectly +satisfied, although the child was born to him in cloth trousers, and a +jacket with three rows of sugar-loaf buttons. Aye, said he, it was those +buttons which hurt my side so much. In fact, there was a string of +strange conceptions of this kind that had accumulated, so as to drive my +poor sister almost mad; and sometimes his ideas would be attended with a +very heavy expense, as he would send for architects, make contracts, +&c., for building, supposing himself to have come to the title and +property of his brother. This, being the basis of his disease, occurred +frequently. I wrote to poor Ellen, giving her my best advice, and by +this time the brig was again ready for sea, and we expected to sail +immediately. I did not forget to write to O'Brien, but the distance +between us was so great that I knew I could not obtain his answer +probably for a year, and I felt a melancholy foreboding how much I +required his advice. + +Our orders were to proceed to Portsmouth, and join a convoy collected +there, bound up the Baltic, under the charge of the _Acasta_ frigate, +and two other vessels. We did not sail with any pleasure, or hopes of +gaining much in the way of prize-money. Our captain was enough to make +any ship a hell; and our ship's company were composed of a mutinous and +incorrigible set of scoundrels, with, of course, a few exceptions. How +different did the officers find the brig after losing such a captain as +O'Brien, and so fine a ship's company! But there was no help for it, and +all we had to do was to make the best of it, and hope for better times. +The cat was at work nearly every day, and I must acknowledge that, +generally speaking, it was deserved; although sometimes a report from +the sergeant of marines of any good man favoured by me, was certain to +be attended to. This system of receiving reports direct from an inferior +officer, instead of through me, as first lieutenant, became so annoying, +that I resolved, at all risk, to expostulate. I soon had an opportunity, +for one morning the captain said to me, "Mr Simple, I understand that +you had a fire in the galley last night after hours." + +"It is very true, sir, that I did order a stove to be lighted; but may I +inquire whether the first lieutenant has not a discretionary power in +that point? and further, how it is that I am reported to you by other +people? The discipline of this ship is carried on by me, under your +directions, and all reports ought to come through me; and I cannot +understand upon what grounds you permit them through any other channel." + +"I command my own ship, sir, and shall do as I please in that respect. +When I have officers I can confide in, I shall, in all probability, +allow them to report to me." + +"If there is anything in my conduct which has proved to you that I am +incapable, or not trustworthy, I would feel obliged to you, sir, if you +would, in the first place, point it out;--and, in the next, bring me to +a court-martial if I do not correct it." + +"I am no court-martial man, sir," replied he, "but I am not to be +dictated to by an inferior officer, so you'll oblige me by holding your +tongue. The sergeant of marines, as master-at-arms, is bound to report +to me any deviation from the regulations I have laid down for the +discipline of the ship." + +"Granted, sir; but that report, according to the custom of the service, +should come through the first lieutenant." + +"I prefer it coming direct, sir;--it stands less chance of being +garbled." + +"Thank you, Captain Hawkins, for the compliment." The captain walked +away without further reply, and shortly after went down below. Swinburne +ranged up alongside of me as soon as the captain disappeared. + +"Well, Mr Simple, so I hear we are bound to the Baltic. Why couldn't +they have ordered us to pick up the convoy off Yarmouth, instead of +coming all the way to Portsmouth? We shall be in to-morrow with this +slant of wind." + +"I suppose the convoy are not yet collected, Swinburne; and you +recollect there's no want of French privateers in the channel." + +"Very true, sir." + +"When were you up the Baltic, Swinburne?" + +"I was in the old _St George_, a regular old ninety-eight; she sailed +just like a hay-stack, one mile ahead and three to leeward. Lord bless +you, Mr Simple, the Cattegat wasn't wide enough for her; but she was a +comfortable sort of vessel after all, excepting on a lee-shore, so we +used always to give the land a wide berth, I recollect. By the bye, Mr +Simple, do you recollect how angry you were because I didn't peach at +Barbadoes, when the men _sucked the monkey?_" + +"To be sure I do." + +"Well, then, I didn't think it fair then, as I was one of them. But now +that I'm a bit of an officer, I just tell you that when we get to +Carlscrona there's a method of _sucking the monkey_ there, which, as +first lieutenant, with such a queer sort of captain, it is just as well +that you should be up to. In the old _St George_ we had seventy men +drunk one afternoon, and the first lieutenant couldn't find it out +nohow." + +"Indeed, Swinburne, you must let me into that secret." + +"So I will, Mr Simple. Don't you know there's a famous stuff for cuts +and wounds, called balsam?" + +"What, Riga balsam?" + +"Yes, that's it; well, all the boats will bring that for sale, as they +did to us in the old _St George_. Devilish good stuff it is for wounds, +I believe; but it's not bad to drink, and it's very strong. We used to +take it _inwardly_, Mr Simple, and the first lieutenant never guessed +it." + +"What! you all got tipsy upon Riga balsam?" + +"All that could; so I just give you a hint." + +"I'm much obliged to you, Swinburne; I certainly never should have +suspected it. I believe seamen would get drunk upon anything." + +The next morning we anchored at Spithead, and found the convoy ready for +sea. The captain went on shore to report himself to the admiral, and, as +usual, the brig was surrounded with bumboats and wherries, with people +who wished to come on board. As we were not known on the Portsmouth +station, and had no acquaintance with the people, all the bumboats were +very anxious to supply the ship: and, as this is at the option of the +first lieutenant, he is very much persecuted until he has made his +decision. Certificates of good conduct from other officers were handed +up the side from all of them; and I looked over the books at the +capstern. In the second book the name struck me; it was that of Mrs +Trotter, and I walked to the gangway out of curiosity, to ascertain +whether it was the same personage who, when I was a youngster, had taken +such care of my shirts. As I looked at the boats, a voice cried out, "O, +Mr Simple, have you forgot your old friend? don't you recollect Mrs +Trotter?" I certainly did not recollect her; she had grown very fat, +and, although more advanced in years, was a better-looking woman than +when I had first seen her, for she looked healthy and fresh. + +"Indeed, I hardly did recollect you, Mrs Trotter." + +"I've so much to tell you, Mr Simple," replied she, ordering the boat to +pull alongside; and, as she was coming up, desired the man to get the +things in, as if permission was quite unnecessary. I did not +counter-order it, as I knew none of the others, and, as far as honesty +was concerned, believed them all to be much on a par. On the strength, +then, of old acquaintance, Mrs Trotter was admitted. + +"Well, I'm sure, Mr Simple," cried Mrs Trotter, out of breath with +climbing up the brig's side; "what a man you've grown,--and such a +handsome man, too! Dear, dear, it makes me feel quite old to look at +you, when I call to mind the little boy whom I had charge of in the +cockpit. Don't you think I look very old and ugly, Mr Simple?" continued +she, smiling and smirking. + +"Indeed, Mrs Trotter, I think you wear very well. Pray, how is your +husband?" + +"Ah, Mr Simple, poor dear Mr Trotter--he's gone. Poor fellow! no wonder; +what with his drinking, and his love for me--and his jealousy--(do you +recollect how jealous he was, Mr Simple?)--he wore himself out at last. +No wonder, considering what he had been accustomed to, after keeping his +carriage and dogs with everybody, to be reduced to see his wife go a +_bumming_. It broke his heart, poor fellow! and, Mr Simple, I've been +much happier ever since, for I could not bear to see him fretting. Lord, +how jealous he was--and all about nothing! Don't you want some fresh +meat for the gun-room? I've a nice leg of mutton in the boat, and some +milk for tea." + +"Recollect, Mrs Trotter, I shall not overlook your bringing spirits on +board." + +"Lord, Mr Simple, how could you think of such a thing? It's very true +that these common people do it, but the company I have kept, the society +I have been in, Mr Simple! Besides, you must recollect that I never +drank anything but water." + +I could not exactly coincide with her, but I did not contradict her. + +"Would you like the Portsmouth paper, Mr Simple?" taking one out of her +pocket; "I know gentlemen are fond of the news. Poor Trotter used never +to stir from the breakfast table until he had finished the daily paper-- +but that was when we lived in very different style. Have you any clothes +to wash, Mr Simple,--or have any of the gentlemen?" + +"I fear we have no time, we sail too soon," replied I; "we go with the +convoy." + +"Indeed!" cried Mrs Trotter, who walked to the main hatchway and called +to her man Bill. I heard her give him directions to sell nothing upon +trust, in consequence of the intelligence of our immediate sailing. + +"I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, I was only desiring my head man to send +for your steward, that he might be supplied with the best, and to save +some milk for the gun-room." + +"And I must beg your pardon, Mrs Trotter, for I must attend to my duty." +Mrs Trotter made her courtesy and walked down the main ladder to attend +to _her duty_, and we separated. I was informed that she had a great +deal of custom, as she understood how to manage the officers, and made +herself generally useful to them. She had been a bumboat woman for six +years, and had made a great deal of money. Indeed, it was reported, that +if a _first lieutenant_ wanted forty or fifty pounds, Mrs Trotter would +always lend it to him, without requiring his promissory note. + +The captain came on board in the evening, having dined with the admiral, +and left directions for having all ready for unmooring and heaving short +at daylight. The signal was made from the frigate at sunrise, and before +twelve o'clock we were all under weigh, and running past St Helen's with +a favourable wind. Our force consisted of the _Acasta_ frigate, the +_Isis_ ship, sloop, mounting twenty guns, the _Reindeer_, eighteen, and +our own brig. The convoy amounted to nearly two hundred. Although the +wind was fair, and the water smooth, we were more than a week before we +made Anholt light, owing _to_ the bad sailing and inattention of many of +the vessels belonging to the convoy. We were constantly employed +repeating signals, firing guns, and often sent back to tow up the +sternmost vessels. At last we passed the Anholt light, with a light +breeze; and the next morning the main land was to be distinguished on +both bows. + + + + +Chapter LVIII + +How we passed the Sound, and what passed in the Sound The Captain +overhears again a conversation between Swinburne and me. + + +I was on the signal-chest abaft, counting the convoy, when Swinburne +came up to me. "There's a little difference between this part of the +world and the West Indies, Mr Simple," observed he. "Black rocks and fir +woods don't remind us of the Blue Mountains of Jamaica, or the cocoa-nut +waving to the sea-breeze." + +"Indeed not, Swinburne," replied I. + +"We shall have plenty of calms here, without panting with the heat, +although we may find the gun-boats a little too warm for us; for, depend +upon it, the very moment the wind goes down, they will come out from +every nook and corner, and annoy us not a little." + +"Have you been here before, with a convoy, Swinburne?" + +"To be sure I have; and it's sharp work that I've seen here, Mr Simple-- +work that I've an idea our captain won't have much stomach for." + +"Swinburne, I beg you will keep your thoughts relative to the captain to +yourself; recollect the last time. It is my duty not to listen to them." + +"And I should rather think to report them also, Mr Simple," said Captain +Hawkins, who had crept up to us, and overheard our conversation. + +"In this instance there is no occasion for my reporting them, sir," +replied I, "for you have heard what has passed." + +"I have, sir," replied he; "and I shall not forget the conversation." + +I turned forward. Swinburne had made his retreat the moment that he +heard the voice of the captain. "How many sails are there in sight, +sir?" inquired the captain. + +"One hundred and sixty-three, sir," replied I. + +"Signal for convoy to close from the _Acasta_" reported the midshipman +of the watch. + +We repeated it, and the captain descended to his cabin. We were then +running about four miles an hour, the water very smooth, and Anholt +lighthouse hardly visible on deck, bearing N.N.W. about twenty miles. In +fact, we were near the entrance of the Sound, which, the reader may be +aware, is a narrow passage leading into the Baltic Sea. We ran on, +followed by the convoy, some of which were eight or ten miles astern of +us, and we were well into the Sound, when the wind gradually died away, +until it fell quite calm, and the heads of the vessels were laid round +the compass. + +My watch was nearly out, when the midshipman, who was looking round with +his glass on the Copenhagen side, reported three gun-boats, sweeping out +from behind a point. I examined them and went down to report them to the +captain. When I came on deck, more were reported, until we counted ten, +two of them large vessels, called praams. The captain now came on deck, +and I reported them. We made the signal of enemy in sight, to the +_Acasta_, which was answered. They divided--six of them pulling along +shore towards the convoy in the rear, and four coming out right for the +brig. The _Acasta_ now made the signal for "Boats manned and armed to be +held in readiness." We hoisted out our pinnace, and lowered down our +cutters--the other men-of-war doing the same. In about a quarter of an +hour the gun-boats opened their fire with their long thirty-two +pounders, and their first shot went right through the hull of the brig, +just abaft the fore-bits; fortunately, no one was hurt. I turned round +to look at the captain; he was as white as a sheet. He caught my eye, +and turned aft, when he was met by Swinburne's eye, steadily fixed upon +him. He then walked to the other side of the deck. Another shot ploughed +up the water close to us, rose, and came through the hammock-netting, +tearing out two of the hammocks, and throwing them on the quarter-deck, +when the _Acasta_ hoisted out pennants, and made the signal to send our +pinnace and cutter to the assistance of vessels astern. The signal was +also made to the _Isis_ and _Reindeer_. I reported the signal, and +inquired who was to take the command. + +"You, Mr Simple, will take the pinnace, and order Mr Swinburne into the +cutter." + +"Mr Swinburne, sir!" replied I; "the brig will, in all probability, be +in action soon, and his services as a gunner will be required." + +"Well, then, Mr Hilton may go. Beat to quarters. Where is Mr +Webster?"[1] The second lieutenant was close to us, and he was ordered +to take the duty during my absence. + +I jumped into the pinnace, and shoved off; ten other boats from the +_Acasta_ and the other men-of-war were pulling in the same direction, +and I joined them. The gun-boats had now opened fire upon the convoy +astern, and were sweeping out to capture them, dividing themselves into +two parts, and pulling towards different portions of the convoy. In half +an hour we were within gunshot of the nearest, which directed its fire +at us; but the lieutenant of the _Acasta_, who commanded the detachment, +ordered us to lie on our oars for a minute, while he divided his force +in three divisions, of four boats each, with instructions that we should +each oppose a division of two gun-boats, by pulling to the outermost +vessel of the convoy, and securing ourselves as much as possible from +the fire, by remaining under her lee, and be in readiness to take them +by boarding, if they approached to capture any of our vessels. + +This was well arranged. I had the command of one division, for the first +lieutenants had not been sent away from the _Isis_ and _Reindeer_, and +having inquired which of the divisions of gun-boats I was to oppose, I +pulled for them. In the meantime, we observed that the two praams, and +two gun-boats, which had remained behind us, and had been firing at the +_Racehorse_, had also divided--one praam attacking the _Acasta_, the two +gun-boats playing upon the _Isis_, and the other praam engaging the +_Rattlesnake_ and _Reindeer_; the latter vessel being in a line with us, +and about half a mile further out, so that she could not return any +effectual fire, or, indeed, receive much damage. The _Rattlesnake_ had +the worst of it, the fire of the praam being chiefly directed to her. At +the distance chosen by the enemy, the frigate's guns reached, but the +other men-of-war, having only two long guns, were not able to return the +fire but with their two, the carronades being useless. + +One of the praams mounted ten guns, and the other eight. The last was +opposed to the _Rattlesnake_, and the fire was kept up very smartly, +particularly by the _Acasta_ and the enemy. In about a quarter of an +hour I arrived with my division close to the vessel which was nearest to +the enemy. It was a large Sunderland-built ship. The gun-boats, which +were within a quarter of a mile of her, sweeping to her as fast as they +could, as soon as they perceived our approach, directed their fire upon +us, but without success, except the last discharge, in which, we being +near enough, they had loaded with grape. The shot fell a little short, +but one piece of grape struck one of the bowmen of the pinnace, taking +off three fingers of his right hand as he was pulling his oar. Before +they could fire again, we were sheltered by the vessel, pulling close to +her side, hid from the enemy. My boat was the only one in the division +which carried a gun, and I now loaded, waiting for the discharge of the +gun-boats, and then, pulling a little ahead of the ship, fired at them, +and then returned under cover to load. This continued for some time, the +enemy not advancing nearer, but now firing into the Sunderland ship, +which protected us. At last the master of the ship looked over the side, +and said to me, "I say, my joker, do you call this _giving me +assistance?_ I think I was better off before you came. Then I had only +my share of the enemy's fire, but now that you have come, I have it all. +I'm riddled like a sieve, and have lost four men already. Suppose you +give me a spell now--pull behind the vessel ahead of us. I'll take my +chance." + +I thought this request very reasonable, and as I should be really nearer +to the enemy if I pulled to the next vessel, and all ready to support +him if attacked, I complied with his wish. I had positive orders not to +board with so small a force (the four boats containing but forty men, +and each gun-boat having at least seventy), unless they advanced to +capture, and then I was to run all risks. + +I pulled up to the other vessel, a large brig, and the captain, as soon +as we came alongside, said, "I see what you're about, and I'll just +leave you my vessel to take care of. No use losing my men, or being +knocked on the head." + +"All's right--you can't do better, and we can't do better either." + +His boat was lowered down, and getting in with his men, he pulled to +another vessel, and lay behind it, all ready to pull back if a breeze +sprang up. + +As was to be expected, the gun-boats shifted their fire to the deserted +vessel, which our boat lay behind; and thus did the action in our +quarter continue until it was dark, the gun-boats not choosing to +advance, and we restricted from pulling out to attack them. There was no +moon, and, as daylight disappeared, the effect was very beautiful. In +the distance, the cannonading of the frigate, and other men-of-war, +answered by the praams and gunboats, reinforced by six more, as we +afterwards found out--the vivid flashing of the guns, reflected by the +water, as smooth as glass--the dark outlines of the numerous convoy, +with their sails hanging down the masts, one portion of the convoy +appearing for a moment, as the guns were discharged in that direction, +and then disappearing, while others were momentarily seen--the roar of +the heavy guns opposed to us--the crashing of the timbers of the brig, +which was struck at every discharge, and very often perforated--with the +whizzing of the shot as it passed by;--all this in a dark yet clear +night, with every star in the heavens twinkling, and, as it were, +looking down upon us, was interesting as well as awful. But I soon +perceived that the gun-boats were nearing us every time that they fired, +and I now discharged grape alone, waiting for the flash of the fire to +ascertain their direction. At last I could perceive their long, low +hulls, not two cables' length from us, and their sweeps lifting from the +water. It was plain that they were advancing to board, and I resolved to +anticipate them if possible. I had fired ahead of the brig, and I now +pulled with all my boats astern, giving my orders to the officers, and +laying on our oars in readiness. The gun-boats were about half a cable's +length from each other, pulling up abreast, and passing us at about the +same distance, when I directed the men to give way. I had determined to +throw all my force upon the nearest boat, and in half a minute our bows +were forced between their sweeps, which we caught hold of to force our +way alongside. + +The resistance of the Danes was very determined. Three times did I +obtain a footing on the deck, and three times was I thrown back into the +boats. At last we had fairly obtained our ground, and were driving them +gradually forward, when, as I ran on the gunwale to obtain a position +more in advance of my men, I received a blow with the butt end of a +musket--I believe on the shoulder--which knocked me overboard, and I +fell between the sweeps, and sunk under the vessel's bottom. I rose +under her stern; but I was so shook with the violence of the blow, that +I was for some time confused; still I had strength to keep myself above +water, and paddled, as it appeared, away from the vessel, until I hit +against a sweep which had fallen overboard. This supported me, and I +gradually recovered myself. The loud report of a gun close to me +startled me, and I perceived that it was from the gun-boat which I had +boarded, and that her head was turned in the direction of the other +gun-boat. From this, with the noise of the sweeps pulling, I knew that +my men had succeeded in capturing her. I hallooed, but they did not hear +me, and I soon lost sight of her. Another gun was now fired; it was from +the other gun-boat retreating, and I perceived her pulling in-shore, for +she passed me not twenty yards off. I now held the sweep with my hands, +and struck out off the shore, in the direction of the convoy. + +A light breeze rippled the water, and I knew that I had no time to lose. +In about five minutes I heard the sound of oars, and perceived a boat +crossing me. I hailed as loud as I could--they heard me, laid on their +oars--and I hailed again--they pulled to me, and took me in. It was the +master of the brig, who, aware of the capture of one gun-boat, and the +retreat of the other, was looking for his vessel; or, as he told me, for +what was left of her. In a short time we found her, and, although very +much cut up, she had received no shot under water. In an hour the breeze +was strong, the cannonading had ceased in every direction, and we had +repaired her damages, so as to be able to make sail, and continue our +course through the Sound. + +Here I may as well relate the events of the action. One of the other +divisions of gun-boats had retreated when attacked by the boats. The +other had beaten off the boats, and killed many of the men, but had +suffered so much themselves, as to retreat without making any capture. +The _Acasta_ lost four men killed, and seven wounded; the _Isis_, three +men wounded; the _Reindeer_ had nobody hurt; the _Rattlesnake_ had six +men killed, and two wounded, including the captain; but of that I shall +speak hereafter. + +I found that I was by no means seriously hurt by the blow I had +received: my shoulder was stiff for a week, and very much discoloured, +but nothing more. When I fell overboard I had struck against a sweep, +which had cut my ear half off. The captain of the brig gave me dry +clothes, and in a few hours I was very comfortably asleep, hoping to +join my ship the next day; but in this I was disappointed. The breeze +was favourable and fresh, and we were clear of the Sound, but a long way +astern of the convoy, and none of the headmost men-of-war to be seen. I +dressed and went on deck, and immediately perceived that I had little +chance of joining my ship until we arrived at Carlscrona, which proved +to be the case. About ten o'clock, the wind died away, and we had from +that time such baffling light winds, that it was six days before we +dropped our anchor, every vessel of the convoy having arrived before us. + +[Footnote 1: Webster, however, had left the ship at Yarmouth. See p. +202.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter LIX + +The dead man attends at the auction of his own effects, and bids the +sale to stop--One more than was wanted--Peter steps into his shoes +again--Captain Hawkins takes a friendly interest in Peter's papers-- +Riga Balsam sternly refused to be admitted for the relief of the ship's +company. + + +As soon as the sails were furled, I thanked the master of the vessel for +his kindness, and requested the boat. He ordered it to be manned, +saying, "How glad your captain will be to see you!" I doubted that. We +shook hands, and I pulled to the _Rattlesnake_, which lay about two +cables' length astern of us. I had put on a jacket, when I left the brig +on service, and coming in a merchantman's boat, no attention was paid to +me; indeed, owing to circumstances, no one was on the look-out, and I +ascended the side unperceived. The men and officers were on the +quarter-deck, attending the sale of dead men's effects before the mast; +and every eye was fixed upon six pair of nankeen trousers exposed by the +purser's steward which I recognized as my own. "Nine shillings for six +pair of nankeen trousers," cried the purser's steward. + +"Come, my men, they're worth more than that," observed the captain, who +appeared to be very facetious. "It's better to be in his trousers than +in his shoes." This brutal remark created a silence for a moment. "Well, +then, steward, let them go. One would think that pulling on his trousers +would make you as afraid as he was," continued the captain, laughing. + +"Shame!" was cried out by one or two of the officers, and I recognised +Swinburne's voice as one. + +"More likely if they put on yours," cried I, in a loud, indignant tone. + +Everybody started, and turned round; Captain Hawkins staggered to a +carronade: "I beg to report myself as having rejoined my ship, sir," +continued I. + +"Hurrah, my lads! three cheers for Mr Simple!" said Swinburne. + +The men gave them with emphasis. The captain looked at me, and without +saying a word, hastily retreated to his cabin. I perceived, as he went +down, that he had his arm in a sling. I thanked the men for their kind +feeling towards me, shook hands with Thompson and Webster, who warmly +congratulated me, and then with old Swinburne, (who nearly wrung my arm +off, and gave my shoulder such pain as to make me cry out,) and with the +others who extended theirs. I desired the sale of my effects to be +stopped; fortunately for me, it had but just begun, and the articles +were all returned. Thompson had informed the captain that he knew my +father's address, and would take charge of my clothes, and send them +home, but the captain would not allow him. + +In a few minutes, I received a letter from the captain, desiring me to +acquaint him in writing, for the information of the senior officer, in +what manner I had escaped. I went down below, when I found one very +melancholy face, that of the passed midshipman of the _Acasta_, who had +received an acting order in my place. When I went to my desk, I found +two important articles missing; one, my private letter-book, and the +other, the journal which I kept of what passed, and from which this +narrative has been compiled. I inquired of my messmates, who stated that +the desk had not been looked into by any one but the captain, who, of +course, must have possessed himself of those important documents. + +I wrote a letter containing a short narrative of what had happened, and, +at the same time, another on service to the captain, requesting that he +would deliver up my property, the private journal, and letter-book in +his possession. The captain, as soon as he received my letters, sent up +word for his boat to be manned. As soon as it was manned, I reported it, +and then begged to know whether he intended to comply with my request. +He answered that he should not, and then went on deck, and quitted the +brig to pull on board of the senior officer. I therefore determined +immediately to write to the captain of the _Acasta_, acquainting him +with the conduct of Captain Hawkins, and requesting his interference. +This I did immediately, and the boat that had brought me on board not +having left the brig, I sent the letter by it, requesting them to put it +into the hands of one of the officers. The letter was received previous +to Captain Hawkins' visit being over, and the Captain of the _Acasta_ +put it into his hands, inquiring if the statement were correct. Captain +Hawkins replied that it was true that he had detained these papers, as +there was so much mutiny and disaffection in them, and that he should +not return them to me. + +"That I cannot permit," replied the captain of the _Acasta_, who was +aware of the character of Captain Hawkins; "if, by mistake, you have +been put in possession of any of Mr Simple's secrets, you are bound in +honour not to make use of them; neither can you retain property not your +own." But Captain Hawkins was determined, and refused to give them to +me. + +"Well, then, Captain Hawkins," replied the captain of the _Acasta_, "you +will oblige me by remaining on my quarter-deck till I come out of the +cabin." + +The captain of the _Acasta_ then wrote an order, directing Captain +Hawkins immediately to deliver up _to him_ the papers of mine in his +possession; and coming out of the cabin, put it into Captain Hawkins' +hands, saying, "Now, sir, here is a written order from your superior +officer. Disobey it, if you dare. If you do, I will put you under +arrest, and try you by a court-martial. I can only regret, that any +captain in His Majesty's service should be forced in this way to do his +duty as a gentleman and a man of honour." + +Captain Hawkins bit his lip at the order, and the cutting remarks +accompanying it. "Your boat is manned, sir," said the captain of the +_Acasta_, in a severe tone. Captain Hawkins came on board, sealed up the +books, and sent them to the captain of the _Acasta_, who re-directed +them to me, on His Majesty's service, and returned them by the same +boat. The public may therefore thank the captain of the _Acasta_ for the +memoirs which they are now reading. + +From my messmates I gained the following intelligence of what had passed +after I had quitted the brig. The fire of the praam had cut them up +severely, and Captain Hawkins had been struck in the arm with a piece of +the hammock-rail, which had been shot away shortly after I left. +Although the skin only was razed, he thought proper to consider himself +badly wounded; and giving up the command to Mr Webster, the second +lieutenant, had retreated below, where he remained until the action was +over. When Mr Webster reported the return of the boats, with the capture +of the gun-boat, and my supposed death, he was so delighted, that he +quite forgot his wound, and ran on deck, rubbing his hands as he walked +up and down. At last, he recollected himself, went down into his cabin, +and came up again with his arm in a sling. + +The next morning he went on board of the _Acasta_, and made his report +to the senior officer, bringing back with him the disappointed +passed-midshipman as my successor. He had also stated on the +quarter-deck, that if I had not been killed, he intended to have tried +me by a court-martial, and have turned me out of the service; that he +had quite enough charges to ruin me, for he had been collecting them +ever since I had been under his command; and that now he would make that +old scoundrel of a gunner repent his intimacy with me. All this was +confided to the surgeon, who, as I before observed, was very much of a +courtier; but the surgeon had repeated it to Thompson, the master, who +now gave me the information. There was one advantage in all this, which +was that I knew exactly the position in which I stood, and what I had to +expect. + +During the short time that we remained in port, I took care that _Riga +balsam_ should not be allowed to come alongside, and the men were all +sober. We received orders from the captain of the _Acasta_ to join the +admiral, who was off the Texel in pursuance of directions he had +received from the Admiralty to despatch one of the squadron, and we were +selected, from the dislike which he had taken to Captain Hawkins. + + + + +Chapter LX + +An old friend in a new case--Heart of oak in Swedish fur--A man's a man +all the world over, and something more in many parts of it--Peter gets +reprimanded for being dilatory, but proves a title to a defence-- +Allowed. + +When we were about forty miles off the harbour, a frigate hove in sight. +We made the private signal: she hoisted Swedish colours, and kept away a +couple of points to close with us. + +We were within two miles of her when she up courses and took in her +topgallant sails. As we closed to within two cables' lengths, she +hove-to. We did the same; and the captain desired me to lower down the +boat, and board her, ask her name, by whom she was commanded, and offer +any assistance if the captain required it. This was the usual custom of +the service, and I went on board in obedience to my orders. When I +arrived on the quarter-deck, I asked in French, whether there was any +one who spoke it. The first lieutenant came forward, and took off his +hat: I stated that I was requested to ask the name of the vessel and the +commanding officer, to insert it in our log, and to offer any service +that we could command. He replied that the captain was on deck, and +turned round, but the captain had gone down below. "I will inform him of +your message--I had no idea that he had quitted the deck;" and the first +lieutenant left me. I exchanged a few compliments and a little news with +the officers on deck, who appeared to be very gentlemanlike fellows, +when the first lieutenant requested my presence in the cabin. I +descended--the door was opened--I was announced by the first lieutenant, +and he quitted the cabin. I looked at the captain, who was sitting at +the table: he was a fine, stout man, with two or three ribands at his +button-hole, and a large pair of moustachios. I thought that I had seen +him before, but I could not recollect when: his face was certainly +familiar to me, but, as I had been informed by the officers on deck, +that the captain was a Count Shucksen, a person I had never heard of, I +thought that I must be mistaken. I therefore addressed him in French, +paying him a long compliment, with all the necessary _et ceteras_. + +The captain turned round to me, took his hand away from his forehead, +which it had shaded, and looking me full in the face, replied, "Mr +Simple, I don't understand but very little French. Spin your yarn in +plain English." + +I started--"I thought that I knew your face," replied I; "am I +mistaken?--no, it must be--Mr Chucks!" + +"You are right, my dear Mr Simple: it is your old friend, Chucks, the +boatswain, whom you now see. I knew you as soon as you came up the side, +and I was afraid that you would immediately recognize me, and I slipped +down into the cabin (for which apparent rudeness allow me to apologise), +that you might not explain before the officers." + +We shook hands heartily, and then he requested me to sit down. "But," +said I, "they told me on deck that the frigate was commanded by a Count +Shucksen." + +"That is my present rank, my dear Peter," said he; "but as you have no +time to lose, I will explain all. I know I can trust to your honour. You +remember that you left me, as you and I supposed, dying in the +privateer, with the captain's jacket and epaulettes on my shoulders. +When the boats came out, and you left the vessel, they boarded and found +me. I was still breathing; and judging of my rank by the coat, they put +me into the boat, and pushed on shore. The privateer sank very shortly +after. I was not expected to live, but in a few days a change took +place, and I was better. They asked me my name, and I gave my own, which +they lengthened into Shucksen, somehow or another. I recovered by a +miracle, and am now as well as ever I was in my life. They were not a +little proud of having captured a captain in the British service, as +they supposed, for they never questioned me as to my real rank. After +some weeks I was sent home to Denmark in a running vessel; but it so +happened, that we met with a gale, and were wrecked on the Swedish +coast, close to Carlscrona. The Danes were at that time at war, having +joined the Russians; and they were made prisoners, while I was of course +liberated, and treated with great distinction; but as I could not speak +either French or their own language, I could not get on very well. +However, I had a handsome allowance, and permission to go to England as +soon as I pleased. The Swedes were then at war with the Russians, and +were fitting out their fleet; but, Lord bless them! they didn't know +much about it. I amused myself walking in the dockyard, and looking at +their motions; but they had not thirty men in the fleet who knew what +they were about, and, as for a man to set them going, there wasn't one. +Well, Peter, you know I could not be idle, and so by degrees I told one, +and then told another--until they went the right way to work; and the +captains and officers were very much obliged to me. At last, they all +came to me, and if they did not understand me entirely, I showed them +how to do it with my own hands; and the fleet began to make a show with +their rigging. The admiral who commanded was very much obliged, and I +seemed to come as regularly to my work as if I was paid for it. At last, +the admiral came with an English interpreter, and asked me whether I was +anxious to go back to England, or would I like to join their service. I +saw what they wanted, and I replied that I had neither wife nor child in +England, and that I liked their country very much; but I must take time +to consider of it, and must also know what they had to propose. I went +home to my lodgings, and, to make them more anxious, I did not make my +appearance at the dockyard for three or four days, when a letter came +from the admiral, offering me the command of a frigate if I would join +their service. I replied, (for I knew how much they wanted me,) that I +would prefer an English frigate to a Swedish one, and that I would not +consent unless they offered something more; and then, with the express +stipulation that I should not take arms against my own country. They +then waited for a week, when they offered to make me a _Count_, and give +me the command of a frigate. This suited me, as you may suppose, Peter; +it was the darling wish of my heart--I was to be made a gentleman. I +consented, and was made Count Shucksen, and had a fine large frigate +under my command. I then set to work with a will, superintended the +fitting out of the whole fleet, and showed them what an Englishman could +do. We sailed, and you of course know the brush we had with the +Russians, which, I must say, did us no discredit. I was fortunate to +distinguish myself, for I exchanged several broadsides with a Russian +two-deck ship, and came off with honour. When we went into port I got +this riband. I was out afterwards, and fell in with a Russian frigate, +and captured her, for which I received this other riband. Since that I +have been in high favour, and now that I speak the languages, I like the +people very much. I am often at court when I am in harbour; and, Peter, +I am _married_." + +"I wish you joy, count, with all my heart." + +"Yes, and well married too--to a Swedish countess of very high family, +and I expect that I have a little boy or girl by this time. So you +observe, Peter, that I am at last a gentleman, and, what is more, my +children will be noble by two descents. Who would have thought that this +would have been occasioned by my throwing the captain's jacket into the +boat instead of my own? And now, my dear Mr Simple, that I have made you +my confidant, I need not say, do not say a word about it to anybody. +They certainly could not do me much harm, but still, they might do me +some; and although I am not likely to meet any one who may recognize me +in this uniform and these moustachios, it's just as well to keep the +secret, which to you and O'Brien only would I have confided." + +"My dear count," replied I, "your secret is safe with me. You have come +to your title before me, at all events; and I sincerely wish you joy, +for you have obtained it honourably; but, although I would like to talk +with you for days, I must return on board, for I am now sailing with a +very unpleasant captain." + +I then, in a few words, stated where O'Brien was; and when we parted, I +went with him on deck, Count Shucksen taking my arm, and introducing me +as an old shipmate to his officers. "I hope we may meet again," said I, +"but I am afraid there is little chance." + +"Who knows?" replied he; "see what chance has done for me. My dear +Peter, God bless you! You are one of the very few whom I always loved. +God bless you, my boy! and never forget that all I have is at your +command if you come my way." + +I thanked him, and saluting the officers, went down the side. As I +expected, when I came on board, the captain demanded, in an angry tone, +why I had stayed so long. I replied, that I was shown down into Count +Shucksen's cabin, and he conversed so long, that I could not get away +sooner, as it would not have been polite to have left him before he had +finished his questions. I then gave a very civil message, and the +captain said no more; the very name of a great man always silenced him. + + + + +Chapter LXI + +Bad news from home, and worse on board--Notwithstanding his previous +trials, Peter forced to prepare for another--Mrs Trotter again; improves +as she grows old--Captain Hawkins and his twelve charges. + + +No other event of consequence occurred until we joined the admiral, who +only detained us three hours with the fleet, and then sent us home with +his despatches. We arrived, after a quiet passage, at Portsmouth, where +I wrote immediately to my sister Ellen, requesting to know the state of +my father's health. I waited impatiently for an answer, and by return of +post received one with a black seal. My father had died the day before +from a brain fever; and Ellen conjured me to obtain leave of absence, to +come to her in her state of distress. The captain came on board the next +morning, and I had a letter ready written on service to the admiral, +stating the circumstances, and requesting leave of absence. I presented +it to him, and entreated him to forward it. At any other time I would +not have condescended, but the thoughts of my poor sister, unprotected +and alone, with my father lying dead in the house, made me humble and +submissive. Captain Hawkins read the letter, and very coolly replied, +"that it was very easy to say that my father was dead, but he required +proofs." Even this insult did not affect me; I put my sister's letter +into his hand--he read it, and as he returned it to me, he smiled +maliciously. "It is impossible for me to forward your letter, Mr Simple, +as I have one to deliver to you." + +He put a large folio packet into my hand, and went below. I opened it: +it was a copy of a letter demanding a court-martial upon me, with a long +list of the charges preferred by him. I was stupefied, not so much at +his asking for a court-martial, but at the conviction of the +impossibility of my now being able to go to the assistance of my poor +sister. I went down into the gunroom and threw myself on a chair, at the +same time tossing the letter to Thompson, the master. He read it over +carefully, and folded it up. + +"Upon my word, Simple, I do not see that you have much to fear. These +charges are very frivolous." + +"No, no--that I care little about; but it is my poor sister. I had +written for leave of absence, and now she is left, God knows how long, +in such distressing circumstances." + +Thompson looked grave. "I had forgotten your father's death, Simple: it +is indeed cruel. I would offer to go myself, but you will want my +evidence at the court-martial. It can't be helped. Write to your sister, +and keep up her spirits. Tell her why you cannot come, and that it will +all end well." + +I did so, and went early to bed, for I was really ill. The next morning, +the official letter from the port-admiral came off, acquainting me that +a court-martial had been ordered upon me, and that it would take place +that day week. I immediately resigned the command to the second +lieutenant, and commenced an examination into the charges preferred. +They were very numerous, and dated back almost to the very day that he +had joined the ship. There were twelve in all. I shall not trouble the +reader with the whole of them, as many were very frivolous. The +principal charges were-- + +1. For mutinous and disrespectful conduct to Captain Hawkins, on such a +date, having, in a conversation with an inferior officer on the +quarter-deck, stated that Captain Hawkins was a spy, and had spies in +the ship. + +2. For neglect of duty, in disobeying the orders of Captain Hawkins on +the night of the ---- of ----. + +3. For having, on the ---- of ----, sent away two boats from the ship, +in +direct opposition to the orders of Captain Hawkins. + +4. For having again, on the morning of the ---- of ----, held mutinous +and disrespectful conversation relative to Captain Hawkins with the +gunner of the ship, allowing the latter to accuse Captain Hawkins of +cowardice, without reporting the same. + +5. For insulting expressions on the quarter-deck to Captain Hawkins on +his rejoining the brig on the morning of the ---- of ----. + +6. For not causing the orders of Captain Hawkins to be put in force on +several occasions, &c. &c. &c. + +And further, as Captain Hawkins' testimony was necessary in two of the +charges, the king, on _those charges,_ was the prosecutor. Although most +of these charges were frivolous, yet I at once perceived my danger. Some +were dated back many months, to the time before our ship's company had +been changed: and I could not find the necessary witnesses. Indeed, in +all but the recent charges, not expecting to be called to a +court-martial, I had serious difficulties to contend with. But the most +serious was the first charge, which I knew not how to get over. +Swinburne had most decidedly referred to the captain when he talked of +spy captains. However, with the assistance of Thompson, I made the best +defence I could, ready for my trial. + +Two days before my court-martial I received a letter from Ellen, who +appeared in a state of distraction from this accumulation of misfortune. +She told me that my father was to be buried the next day, and that the +new rector had written to her, to know when it would be convenient for +the vicarage to be given up. That my father's bills had been sent in, +and amounted to twelve hundred pounds already; and that she knew not the +extent of the whole claims. There appeared to be nothing left but the +furniture of the house; and she wanted to know whether the debts were to +be paid with the money I had left in the funds for her use. I wrote +immediately, requesting her to liquidate every claim, as far as my money +went, sending her an order upon my agent to draw for the whole amount, +and a power of attorney to him to sell out the stock. + +I had just sealed the letter, when Mrs Trotter, who had attended the +ship since our return to Portsmouth, begged to speak with me, and walked +in after her message, without waiting for an answer. "My dear Mr +Simple," said she, "I know all that is going on, and I find that you +have no lawyer to assist you. Now I know that it is necessary, and will +very probably be of great service in your defence--for when people are +in distress and anxiety, they have not their wits about them; so I have +brought a friend of mine from Portsea, a very clever man, who, for my +sake, will undertake your cause, and I hope you will not refuse him. You +recollect giving me a dozen pair of stockings. I did not refuse them, +nor shall you refuse me now. I always said to Mr Trotter, 'Go to a +lawyer;' and if he had taken my advice he would have done well. I +recollect, when a hackney-coachman smashed the panel of our carriage-- +'Trotter,' says I, 'go to a lawyer;' and he very politely answered, 'Go +to the devil!' But what was the consequence!--he's dead and I'm +bumming. Now, Mr Simple, will you oblige me?--it's all free gratis for +nothing--not for nothing, for it's for my sake. You see, Mr Simple, I +have admirers yet," concluded she, smiling. + +Mrs Trotter's advice was good; and although I would not listen to +receiving his services gratuitously, I agreed to employ him; and very +useful did he prove against such charges, and such a man as Captain +Hawkins. He came on board that afternoon, carefully examined into all +the documents and the witnesses whom I could bring forward, showed me +the weak side of my defence, and took the papers on shore with him. +Every day he came on board to collect fresh evidence and examine into my +case. + +At last the day arrived. I dressed myself in my best uniform. The gun +fired from the admiral's ship, with the signal for a court-martial at +nine o'clock; and I went on board in a boat, with all the witnesses. On +my arrival, I was put under the custody of the provost-marshal. The +captains ordered to attend pulled alongside one after another, and were +received by a party of marines, presenting their arms. + +At half-past nine the court was all assembled, and I was ushered in. +Courts-martial are open courts, although no one is permitted to print +the evidence. At the head of the long table was the admiral, as +president; on his right hand, standing, was Captain Hawkins, as +prosecutor. On each side of the table were six captains, sitting near to +the admiral, according to their seniority. At the bottom, facing the +admiral, was the judge-advocate, on whose left hand I stood, as +prisoner. The witnesses called in to be examined were stationed on his +right; and behind him, by the indulgence of the court, was a small +table, at which sat my legal adviser, so close as to be able to +communicate with me. The court were all sworn, and then took their +seats. Stauncheons, with ropes covered with green baize, passed along, +were behind the chairs of the captains who composed the court, so that +they might not be crowded upon by those who came in to listen to what +passed. The charges were then read, as well as the letters to and from +the admiral, by which the court-martial was demanded and granted: and +then Captain Hawkins was desired to open his prosecution. He commenced +with observing his great regret that he had been forced to a measure so +repugnant to his feelings; his frequent cautions to me, and the +indifference with which I treated them; and, after a preamble composed +of every falsity that could be devised, he commenced with the first +charge, and stating himself to be the witness, gave his evidence. When +it was finished, I was asked if I had any questions to put. By the +advice of my lawyer, I replied, "No." The president then asked the +captains composing the court-martial, commencing according to their +seniority, whether they wished to ask any questions. + +"I wish," said the second captain who was addressed, "to ask Captain +Hawkins whether, when he came on deck, he came up in the usual way in +which a captain of a man-of-war comes on his quarter-deck, or whether he +slipped up without noise?" + +Captain Hawkins declared that he came up as he _usually did._ This was +true enough, for he invariably came up by stealth. + +"Pray, Captain Hawkins, as you have repeated a good deal of conversation +which passed between the first lieutenant and the gunner, may I ask you +how long you were by their side without their perceiving you?" + +"A very short time," was the answer. + +"But, Captain Hawkins, do you not think, allowing that you came up on +deck in your _usual_ way, as you term it, that you would have done +better to have hemmed or hawed, so as to let your officers know that you +were present? I should be very sorry to hear all that might be said of +me in my supposed absence." + +To this observation Captain Hawkins replied, that he was so astonished +at the conversation, that he was quite breathless, having, till then, +had the highest opinion of me. + +No more questions were asked, and they proceeded to the second charge. +This was a very trifling one--for lighting a stove, contrary to orders; +the evidence brought forward was the sergeant of marines. When his +evidence in favour of the charge had been given, I was asked by the +president if I had any questions to put to the witness. I put the +following:-- + +"Did you repeat to Captain Hawkins that I had ordered the stove to be +lighted?"--"I did." + +"Are you not in the custom of reporting, direct to the captain, any +negligence, or disobedience of orders, you may witness in the ship?"--"I +am." + +"Did you ever report anything of the sort to me, as first lieutenant, or +do you always report direct to the captain?" + +"I always report direct to the captain." + +"By the captain's orders?"--"Yes." + +The following questions were then put by some of the members of the +court:-- + +"You have served in other ships before?"--"Yes." + +"Did you ever, sailing with other captains, receive an order from them +to report direct to them, and not through the first lieutenant?" The +witness here prevaricated. + +"Answer directly, yes or no."--"No." + +The third charge was then brought forward--for sending away boats +contrary to express orders. This was substantiated by Captain Hawkins' +own evidence, the order having been verbal. By the advice of my counsel, +I put no questions to Captain Hawkins, neither did the court. + +The fourth charge--that of holding mutinous conversation with the +gunner, and allowing him to accuse the captain of unwillingness to +engage the enemy--was then again substantiated by Captain Hawkins, as +the only witness. I again left my reply for my defence; and only one +question was put by one of the members, which was, to inquire of Captain +Hawkins, as he appeared peculiarly unfortunate in overhearing +conversations, whether he walked up as usual to the taffrail, or whether +he _crept up._ Captain Hawkins gave the same answer as before. + +The fifth charge--for insulting expressions to Captain Hawkins, on my +rejoining the brig at Carlscrona--was then brought forward, and the +sergeant of marines and one of the seamen appeared as witnesses. This +charge excited a great deal of amusement. In the cross-examination by +the members of the court, Captain Hawkins was asked what he meant by the +expression, when disposing of the clothes of an officer who was killed +in action, that the men appeared to think that his trousers would instil +fear. + +"Nothing more, upon my honour, sir," replied Captain Hawkins, "than an +implication that they were alarmed lest they should be haunted by his +ghost." + +"Then, of course, Mr Simple meant the same in his reply," observed the +captain sarcastically. + +The remainder of the charges were then brought forward, but they were of +little consequence. The witnesses were chiefly the sergeant of marines, +and the spy-glass of Captain Hawkins, who had been watching me from the +shore. + +It was late in the afternoon before they were all gone through; and the +president then adjourned the court, that I might bring forward my own +witnesses, in my defence, on the following day, and I returned on board +the _Rattlesnake_. + + + + +Chapter LXII + +A good defence not always good against a bad accusation--Peter wins +the heart of his judges, yet loses his cause, and is dismissed his ship. + + +The next day I commenced my defence, and I preferred calling my own +witnesses first, and, by the advice of my counsel, and at the request of +Swinburne, I called him. I put the following questions:--"When we were +talking on the quarter-deck, was it fine weather?"--"Yes, it was." + +"Do you think that you might have heard any one coming on deck, in the +usual way, up the companion ladder?" + +"Sure of it." + +"Do you mean, then, to imply that Captain Hawkins came up stealthily?" + +"I have an idea he pounced upon us as a cat does on a mouse." + +"What were the expressions made use of?" + +"I said that a spy captain would always find spy followers." + +"In that remark were you and Mr Simple referring to your own captain?"-- + +"The remark was mine. What Mr Simple was thinking of, I can't tell; but +I _did_ refer to the captain, and he has proved that I was right." This +bold answer of Swinburne's rather astonished the court, who commenced +cross-questioning him; but he kept to his original assertion--that I had +only answered generally. To repel the second charge I produced no +witnesses; but to the third charge I brought forward three witnesses to +prove that Captain Hawkins's orders were that I should send no boats on +shore, not that I should not send them on board of the men-of-war close +to us. In answer to the fourth charge, I called Swinburne, who stated +that if I did not, he would come forward. Swinburne acknowledged that he +accused the captain of being shy, and that I reprimanded him for so +doing. "Did he say that he would report you?" inquired one of the +captains. "No, sir," replied Swinburne, "'cause he never meant to do +it." This was an unfortunate answer. + +To the fifth charge, I brought several witnesses to prove the words of +Captain Hawkins, and the sense in which they were taken by the ship's +company, and the men calling out "Shame!" when he used the expression. + +To refute the other charges I called one or two witnesses, and the court +then adjourned, inquiring of me when I would be ready to commence my +defence. I requested a day to prepare, which was readily granted; and +the ensuing day the court did not sit. I hardly need say that I was +busily employed, arranging my defence with my counsel. At last all was +done, and I went to bed tired and unhappy; but I slept soundly, which +could not be said of my counsel, for he went on shore at eleven o'clock, +and sat up all night making a fair copy. After all, the fairest court of +justice is a naval court-martial--no brow-beating of witnesses, an +evident inclination towards the prisoner--every allowance and every +favour granted him, and no legal quibbles attended to. It is a court of +equity, with very few exceptions; and the humbler the individual, the +greater the chance in his favour. + +I was awoke the following morning by my counsel, who had not gone to bed +the previous night, and who had come off at seven o'clock to read over +with me my defence. At nine o'clock I again proceeded on board, and in a +short time the court was sitting. I came in, handed my defence to the +judge-advocate, who read it aloud to the court. I have a copy still by +me, and will give the whole of it to the reader. + +"Mr President and Gentlemen,--After nearly fourteen years' service in +his Majesty's navy, during which I have been twice made prisoner, twice +wounded, and once wrecked; and, as I trust I shall prove to you, by +certificates and the public despatches, I have done my duty with zeal +and honour; I now find myself in a situation in which I never expected +to be placed--that of being arraigned before and brought to a +court-martial for charges of mutiny, disaffection, and disrespect +towards my superior officer. If the honourable court will examine the +certificates I am about to produce, they will find that, until I sailed +with Captain Hawkins, my conduct has always been supposed to have been +diametrically opposite to that which is now imputed to me. I have always +been diligent and obedient to command; and I have only to regret that +the captains with whom I have had the honour to sail are not now present +to corroborate by their oral evidence the truth of these documents. +Allow me, in the first place, to point out to the court, that the +charges against me are spread over a large space of time, amounting to +nearly eighteen months, during the whole of which period Captain Hawkins +never stated to me that it was his intention to try me by a +court-martial; and, although repeatedly in the presence of a senior +officer, has never preferred any charge against me. The articles of war +state expressly that if any officer, soldier, or marine has any +complaint to make he is to do so upon his arrival at any port or fleet +where he may fall in with a superior officer. I admit that this article +of war refers to complaints to be made by inferiors against superiors; +but, at the same time, I venture to submit to the honourable court that +a superior is equally bound to prefer a charge, or to give notice that +the charge will be preferred, on the first seasonable opportunity, +instead of lulling the offender into security, and disarming him in his +defence, by allowing the time to run on so long as to render him +incapable of bringing forward his witnesses. I take the liberty of +calling this to your attention, and shall now proceed to answer the +charges which have been brought against me. + +"I am accused of having held a conversation with an inferior officer on +the quarter-deck of his Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_, in which my +captain was treated with contempt. That it may not be supposed that Mr +Swinburne was a new acquaintance, made upon my joining the brig, I must +observe that he was an old shipmate, with whom I had served many years, +and with whose worth I was well acquainted. He was my instructor in my +more youthful days, and has been rewarded for his merit, with the +warrant which he now holds as gunner of His Majesty's brig +_Rattlesnake_. The offensive observation, in the first place, was not +mine; and, in the second, it was couched in general terms. Here Mr +Swinburne has pointedly confessed that _he_ did refer to the captain, +although the observation was in the plural; but that does not prove the +charge against me--on the contrary, adds weight to the assertion of Mr +Swinburne, that I was guiltless of the present charge. That Captain +Hawkins has acted as a spy, his own evidence on this charge, as well as +that brought forward by other witnesses, will decidedly prove; but as +the truth of the observation does not warrant the utterance, I am glad +that no such expression escaped my lips. + +"Upon the second charge I shall dwell but a short time. It is true that +there is a general order that no stoves shall be alight after a certain +hour; but I will appeal to the honourable court, whether a first +lieutenant is not considered to have a degree of licence of judgment in +all that concerns the interior discipline of the ship. The surgeon sent +to say that a stove was required for one of the sick. I was in bed at +the time, and replied immediately in the affirmative. Does Captain +Hawkins mean to assert to the honourable court, that he would have +refused the request of the surgeon? Most certainly not. The only error I +committed, if it were an error, was not going through the form of +awaking Captain Hawkins, to ask the permission, which, as first +lieutenant, I thought myself authorized to give. + +"The charge against me, of having sent away two boats, contrary to his +order, I have already disproved by witnesses. The order of Captain +Hawkins was, not to communicate with the shore. My reasons for sending +away the boats"--(Here Captain Hawkins interposed, and stated to the +president that my reasons were not necessary to be received. The court +was cleared, and, on our return, the court had decided, that my reasons +ought to be given, and I continued.) "My reasons for sending away these +boats, or rather it was one boat which was despatched to the two +frigates, if I remember well, were, that the brig was in a state of +mutiny. The captain had tied up one of the men, and the ship's company +refused to be flogged. Captain Hawkins then went on shore to the +admiral, to report the situation of his ship, and I conceived it my duty +to make it known to the men-of-war anchored close to us. I shall not +enter into further particulars, as they will only detain the honourable +court; and I am aware that this court-martial is held upon my conduct, +and not upon that of Captain Hawkins. To the charge of again holding +disrespectful language on the quarter-deck, as overheard by Captain. +Hawkins, I must refer the honourable court to the evidence, in which it +is plainly proved that the remarks upon him were not mine, but those of +Mr Swinburne, and that I remonstrated with Mr Swinburne for using such +unguarded expressions. The only point of difficulty is, whether it was +not my duty to have reported such language. I reply, that there is no +proof that I did not intend to report it; but the presence of Captain +Hawkins, who heard what was said, rendered such report unnecessary. + +"On the fifth charge, I must beg that the court will be pleased to +consider that some allowance ought to be made for a moment of +irritation. My character was traduced by Captain Hawkins, supposing that +I was dead; so much so, that even the ship's company cried out _shame._ +I am aware, that no language of a superior officer can warrant a retort +from an inferior; but, as what I intended to imply by that language is +not yet known, although Captain Hawkins has given an explanation to his, +I shall merely say, that I meant no more by my insinuations, than +Captain Hawkins did at the time, by those which he made use of with +respect to me. + +"Upon the other trifling charges brought forward, I lay no stress, as I +consider them fully refuted by the evidence which has been already +adduced; and I shall merely observe, that, for reasons best known to +himself, I have been met with a most decided hostility on the part of +Captain Hawkins, from the time that he first joined the ship; that, on +every occasion, he has used all his efforts to render me uncomfortable, +and embroil me with others; that, not content with narrowly watching my +conduct on board, he has resorted to his spy-glass from the shore; and, +instead of assisting me in the execution of a duty sufficiently arduous, +he has thrown every obstacle in my way, placed inferior officers as +spies over my conduct, and made me feel so humiliated in the presence of +the ship's company, over which I have had to superintend, and in the +disciplining of which I had a right to look to him for support, that, +were it not that some odium would necessarily be attached to the +sentence, I should feel it as one of the happiest events of my life that +I were dismissed from the situation which I now hold under his command. +I now beg that the honourable court will allow the documents I lay upon +the table to be read in support of my character." + +When this was over, the court was cleared, that they might decide upon +the sentence. I waited about half an hour in the greatest anxiety, when +I was again summoned to attend. The usual forms of reading the papers +were gone through, and then came the sentence, which was read by the +president, he and the whole court standing up with their cocked hats on +their heads. After the preamble, it concluded with saying, "that it was +the opinion of that court that the charges had been _partly_ proved, and +therefore, that Lieutenant Peter Simple was dismissed his ship; but, in +consideration of his good character and services, his case was strongly +recommended to the consideration of the Lords Commissioners of the +Admiralty." + + + + +Chapter LXIII + +Peter looks upon his loss as something gained--Goes on board the +_Rattlesnake_ to pack up, and is ordered to pack off--Polite +leave-taking between relations. Mrs Trotter better and better--Goes to +London, and afterwards falls into all manner of misfortunes by the hands +of robbers, and of his own uncle. + + +I hardly knew whether I felt glad or sorry at this sentence. On the one +hand, it was almost a deathblow to my future advancement or employment +in the service; on the other, the recommendation very much softened down +the sentence, and I was quite happy to be quit of Captain Hawkins, and +free to hasten to my poor sister. I bowed respectfully to the court, +which immediately adjourned. Captain Hawkins followed the captains on +the quarter-deck, but none of them would speak to him--so much to his +disadvantage had come out during the trial. + +About ten minutes afterwards, one of the elder captains composing the +court called me into the cabin. "Mr Simple," said he, "we are all very +sorry for you. Our sentence could not be more lenient, under the +circumstances: it was that conversation with the gunner at the taffrail +which floored you. It must be a warning to you to be more careful in +future, how you permit any one to speak of the conduct of your superiors +on the quarter-deck. I am desired by the president to let you know that +it is our intention to express ourselves very strongly to the admiral in +your behalf; so much so, that if another captain applies for you, you +will have no difficulty in being appointed to a ship; and as for leaving +your present ship, under any other circumstances I should consider it a +matter of congratulation." + +I returned my sincere thanks, and soon afterwards quitted the +guard-ship, and went on board of the brig to pack up my clothes, and +take leave of my messmates. On my arrival, I found that Captain Hawkins +had preceded me, and he was on deck when I came up the side. I hastened +down into the gun-room, where I received the condolements of my +messmates. + +"Simple, I wish you joy," cried Thompson, loud enough for the captain to +hear on deck. "I wish I had your luck; I wish somebody would try me by a +court-martial." + +"As it has turned out," replied I, in a loud voice, "and after the +communication made to me by the captains composing the court, of what +they intend to say to the Admiralty, I agree with you, Thompson, that it +is a very kind act on the part of Captain Hawkins, and I feel quite +grateful to them." + +"Steward, come--glasses," cried Thompson, "and let us drink success to +Mr Simple." + +All this was very annoying to Captain Hawkins, who overheard every word. +When our glasses were filled--"Simple, your good health, and may I meet +with as good a messmate," said Thompson. + +At this moment, the sergeant of marines put his head in at the gun-room +door, and said, in a most insolent tone, that I was to leave the ship +immediately. I was so irritated, that I threw my glass of grog in his +face, and he ran up to the captain to make the complaint; but I did not +belong to the ship, and even if I had, I would have resented such +impertinence. + +Captain Hawkins was in a great rage, and I believe would have written +for another court-martial, but he had had enough of them. He inquired +very particularly of the sergeant whether he had told me that I was to +leave the ship directly, or whether, that Captain Hawkins desired that I +should leave the ship immediately; and finding that he had not given the +latter message (which I was aware of, for had he given it, I dare not +have acted as I did); he then sent down again by one of the midshipmen, +desiring me to leave the ship immediately. My reply was, that I should +certainly obey his orders with the greatest pleasure. I hastened to pack +up my clothes, reported myself ready to the second lieutenant, who went +up for permission to man a boat, which was refused by Captain Hawkins, +who said I might go on shore in a shore-boat. I called one alongside, +shook hands with all my messmates, and when I arrived on the +quarter-deck, with Swinburne, and some of the best men, who came +forward; Captain Hawkins stood by the binnacle, bursting with rage. As I +went over the planeshear, I took my hat off to him, and wished him +good-morning very respectfully, adding, "If you have any commands for my +_uncle_, Captain Hawkins, I shall be glad to execute them." + +This observation, which showed him that I knew the connection and +correspondence between them, made him gasp with emotion. "Leave the +ship, sir, or by God I'll put you in irons for mutiny," cried he. I +again took off my hat, and went down the side, and shoved off. + +As soon as I was a few yards distant, the men jumped on the carronades +and cheered, and I perceived Captain Hawkins order them down, and before +I was a cable's length from her, the pipe "all hands to punishment;" so +I presume some of the poor fellows suffered for their insubordination in +showing their good will. I acknowledge that I might have left the ship +in a more dignified manner, and that my conduct was not altogether +correct; but still, I state what I really did do, and some allowance +must be made for my feelings. This is certain, that my conduct after the +court-martial, was more deserving of punishment, than that for which I +had been tried. But I was in a state of feverish excitement, and hardly +knew what I did. + +When I arrived at Sally Port, I had my effects wheeled up to the Blue +Posts, and packing up those which I most required, I threw off my +uniform, and was once more a gentleman at large. I took my place in the +mail for that evening, sent a letter of thanks, with a few bank notes, +to my counsel, and then sat down and wrote a long letter to O'Brien, +acquainting him with the events which had taken place. + +I had just finished, and sealed it up, when in came Mrs Trotter. "Oh my +dear Mr Simple! I'm so sorry, and I have come to console you. There's +nothing like women when men are in affliction, as poor Trotter used to +say, as he laid his head in my lap. When do you go to town?" + +"This evening, Mrs Trotter." + +"I hope I am to continue to attend the ship?" + +"I hope so too, Mrs Trotter, I have no doubt but you will." + +"Now, Mr Simple, how are you off for money? Do you want a little? You +can pay me by-and-by. Don't be afraid. I'm not quite so poor as I was +when you came down to mess with Trotter and me, and when you gave me the +dozen pair of stockings. I know what it is to want money, and what it is +to want friends." + +"Many thanks to you, Mrs Trotter," replied I; "but I have sufficient to +take me home, and then I can obtain more." + +"Well, I'm glad of it, but it was offered in earnest. Good-bye, God +bless you! Come, Mr Simple, give me a kiss; it won't be the first time." + +I kissed her, for I felt grateful for her kindness; and with a little +smirking and ogling she quitted the room. I could not help thinking, +after she was gone, how little we know the hearts of others. If I had +been asked if Mrs Trotter was a person to have done a generous action, +from what I had seen of her in adversity, I should have decidedly said, +No. Yet in this offer she was disinterested, for she knew the service +well enough to be aware that I had little chance of being a first +lieutenant again, and of being of service to her. And how often does it +also occur, that those who ought, from gratitude or long friendship, to +do all they can to assist you, turn from you in your necessity, and +prove false and treacherous! It is God alone who knows our hearts. I +sent my letter to O'Brien to the admiral's office, sat down to a dinner +which I could not taste, and at seven o'clock got into the mail. + +When I arrived in town I was much worse, but I did not wait more than an +hour. I took my place in a coach which did not go to the town near which +we resided; for I had inquired and found that coach was full, and I did +not choose to wait another day. The coach in which I took my place went +within forty miles of the vicarage, and I intended to post across the +country. The next evening I arrived at the point of separation, and +taking out my portmanteau, ordered a chaise, and set off for what had +once been my home. I could hardly hold my head up, I was so ill, and I +lay in a corner of the chaise in a sort of dream, kept from sleeping +from intense pain in the forehead and temples. It was about nine o'clock +at night, when we were in a dreadful jolting road, the shocks proceeding +from which gave me agonizing pain, that the chaise was stopped by two +men, who dragged me out on the grass. One stood over me, while the other +rifled the chaise. The post-boy, who appeared a party to the +transaction, remained quietly on his horse, and as soon as they had +taken my effects, turned round and drove off. They then rifled my +person, taking away everything that I had, leaving me nothing but my +trousers and shirt. After a short consultation, they ordered me to walk +on in the direction in which we had been proceeding in the chaise, and +to hasten as fast as I could, or they would blow my brains out. I +complied with their request, thinking myself fortunate to have escaped +so well. I knew that I was still thirty miles at least from the +vicarage; but ill as I was, I hoped to be able to reach it on foot. I +walked during the remainder of the night, but I got on but slowly. I +reeled from one side of the road to the other, and occasionally sat down +to rest. Morning dawned, and I perceived habitations not far from me. I +staggered on in my course. + +The fever now raged in me, my head was splitting with agony, and I +tottered to a bank near a small neat cottage, on the side of the road. I +have a faint recollection of some one coming to me and taking my hand, +but nothing further; and it was not till many months afterwards, that I +became acquainted with the circumstances which I now relate. It appears +that the owner of the cottage was a half-pay lieutenant in the army, who +had sold-out on account of his wounds. I was humanely taken into his +house, laid on a bed, and a surgeon requested to come to me immediately. +I had now lost all recollection, and who I was they could not ascertain. +My pockets were empty, and it was only by the mark on my linen that they +found that my name was Simple. For three weeks I remained in a state of +alternate stupor and delirium. When the latter came on, I raved of Lord +Privilege, O'Brien, and Celeste. Mr Selwin, the officer who had so +kindly assisted me, knew that Simple was the patronymic name of Lord +Privilege, and he immediately wrote to his lordship, stating that a +young man of the name of Simple, who, in his delirium called upon him +and Captain O'Brien, was lying in a most dangerous state in his house, +and, that as he presumed I was a relative of his lordship's he had +deemed it right to apprise him of the fact. + +My uncle, who knew that it must be me, thought this too favourable an +opportunity, provided I should live, not to have me in his power. He +wrote to say that he would be there in a day or two; at the same time +thanking Mr Selwin for his kind attention to his poor nephew, and +requesting that no expense might be spared. When my uncle arrived, which +he did in his own chariot, the crisis of the fever was over, but I was +still in a state of stupor, arising from extreme debility. He thanked Mr +Selwin for his attention, which he said he was afraid was of little +avail, as I was every year becoming more deranged; and he expressed his +fears that it would terminate in chronic lunacy. "His poor father died +in the same state," continued my uncle, passing his hand across his +eyes, as if much affected. "I have brought my physician with me, to see +if he can be moved. I shall not be satisfied unless I am with him night +and day." + +The physician (who was my uncle's valet) took me by the hand, felt my +pulse, examined my eyes, and pronounced that it would be very easy to +move me, and that I should recover sooner in a more airy room. Of +course, Mr Selwin raised no objections, putting down all to my uncle's +regard for me; and my clothes were put on me, as I lay in a state of +insensibility, and I was lifted into the chariot. It is most wonderful +that I did not die from being thus taken out of my bed in such a state, +but it pleased Heaven that it should be otherwise. Had such an event +taken place, it would probably have pleased my uncle much better than my +surviving. When I was in the carriage, supported by the +pseudo-physician, my uncle again thanked Mr Selwin, begged that he would +command his interest, wrote a handsome cheque for the surgeon who had +attended me, and getting into the carriage, drove off with me still in a +state of insensibility--that is, I was not so insensible, but I think I +felt I had been removed, and I heard the rattling of the wheels; but my +mind was so uncollected, and I was in a state of such weakness, that I +could not feel assured of it for a minute. + +For some days afterwards, for I recollect nothing about the journey, I +found myself in bed in a dark room and my arms confined. I recalled my +senses, and by degrees was able to recollect all that had occurred, +until I laid down by the roadside. Where was I? The room was dark, I +could distinguish nothing; that I had attempted to do myself some +injury, I took for granted, or my arms would not have been secured. I +had been in a fever and delirious, I supposed, and had now recovered. I +had been in a reverie for more than an hour, wondering why I was left +alone, when the door of the apartment opened. "Who is there?" inquired +I. + +"Oh! you've come to yourself again," said a gruff voice; "then I'll give +you a little daylight." + +He took down a shutter which covered the whole of the window, and a +flood of light poured in, which blinded me. I shut my eyes, and by +degrees admitted the light until I could bear it. I looked at the +apartment: the walls were bare and whitewashed. I was on a truckle-bed. +I looked at the window--it was closed up with iron bars.--"Why, where am +I?" inquired I of the man, with alarm. + +"Where are you?" replied he; "why, in Bedlam!" + + + + +Chapter LXIV + +As O'Brien said; it's a long lane that has no turning--I am rescued, and +happiness pours in upon me as fast as misery before overwhelmed me. + + +The shock was too great--I fell back on my pillow insensible. How long I +laid, I know not, but when I recovered the keeper was gone, and I found +a jug of water and some bread by the side of the bed, I drank the water, +and the effect it had upon me was surprising. I felt that I could get +up, and I rose: my arms had been unpinioned during my swoon. I got on my +feet, and staggered to the window. I looked out, saw the bright sun, the +passers-by, the houses opposite--all looked cheerful and gay, but I was +a prisoner in a madhouse. Had I been mad? I reflected, and supposed that +I had been, and had been confined by those who knew nothing of me. It +never came into my head that my uncle had been a party to it. I threw +myself on the bed, and relieved myself with tears. It was about noon +that the medical people, attended by the keepers and others, came into +my apartment. "Is he quite quiet?" "O Lord! yes, sir, as quiet as a +lamb," replied the man who had before entered. I then spoke to the +medical gentleman, begging him to tell why, and how, I had been brought +here. He answered mildly and soothingly, saying that I was there at the +wish of my friends, and that every care would be taken of me; that he +was aware that my paroxysms were only occasional, and that, during the +time I was quiet, I should have every indulgence that could be granted, +and that he hoped that I soon should be perfectly well, and be permitted +to leave the hospital. I replied by stating who I was, and how I had +been taken ill. The doctor shook his head, advised me to lie down as +much as possible, and then quitted me to visit the other patients. + +As I afterwards discovered, my uncle had had me confined upon the plea +that I was a young man who was deranged with an idea that his name was +Simple, and that he was the heir to the title and estates; that I was +very troublesome at times, forcing my way into his house and insulting +the servants, but in every other respect was harmless; that my paroxysms +generally ended in a violent fever, and it was more from the fear of my +coming to some harm, than from any ill-will towards the poor young man, +that he wished me to remain in the hospital, and be taken care of. The +reader may at once perceive the art of this communication: I, having no +idea why I was confined, would of course continue to style myself by my +true name; and as long as I did this, so long would I be considered in a +deranged state. The reader must not therefore be surprised when I tell +him that I remained in Bedlam for one year and eight months. The doctor +called upon me for two or three days, and finding me quiet, ordered me +to be allowed books, paper, and ink, to amuse myself; but every attempt +at explanation was certain to be the signal for him to leave my +apartment. I found, therefore, not only by him, but from the keeper, who +paid no attention to anything I said, that I had no chance of being +listened to, or of obtaining my release. + +After the first month, the doctor came to me no more: I was a quiet +patient, and he received the report of the keeper. I was sent there with +every necessary document to prove that I was mad; and, although a very +little may establish a case of lunacy, it requires something very strong +indeed to prove that you are in your right senses. In Bedlam I found it +impossible. At the same time I was well treated, was allowed all +necessary comforts, and such amusement as could be obtained from books, +&c. I had no reason to complain of the keeper--except that he was too +much employed to waste his time in listening to what he did not believe. +I wrote several letters to my sister and to O'Brien, during the first +two or three months, and requested the keeper to put them in the post. +This he promised to do, never refusing to take the letters; but, as I +afterwards found out, they were invariably destroyed. Yet I still bore +up with the hopes of release for some time; but the anxiety relative to +my sister, when I thought of her situation, my thoughts of Celeste and +of O'Brien, sometimes quite overcame me; then, indeed, I would almost +become frantic, and the keeper would report that I had had a paroxysm. +After six months I became melancholy, and I wasted away. I no longer +attempted to amuse myself, but sat all day with my eyes fixed upon +vacancy. I no longer attended to my person; I allowed my beard to grow-- +my face was never washed, unless mechanically, when ordered by the +keeper; and if I was not mad, there was every prospect of my soon +becoming so. Life passed away as a blank--I had become indifferent to +everything--I noted time no more--the change of seasons was unperceived +--even the day and the night followed without my regarding them. + +I was in this unfortunate situation, when one day the door was opened, +and, as had been often the custom during my imprisonment, visitors were +going round the establishment, to indulge their curiosity, in witnessing +the degradation of their fellow-creatures, or to offer their +commiseration. I paid no heed to them, not even casting up my eyes. +"This young man," said the medical gentleman who accompanied the party, +"has entertained the strange idea that his name is Simple, and that he +is the rightful heir to the title and property of Lord Privilege." + +One of the visitors came up to me, and looked me in the face. "And so he +is," cried he to the doctor, who looked with astonishment. "Peter, don't +you know me?" I started up. It was General O'Brien. I flew into his +arms, and burst into tears. + +"Sir," said General O'Brien, leading me to the chair, and seating me +upon it, "I tell you that _is_ Mr Simple, the nephew of Lord Privilege; +and I believe, the heir to the title. If, therefore, his assertion of +such being the case is the only proof of his insanity, he is illegally +confined. I am here, a foreigner, and a prisoner on parole; but I am not +without friends. My Lord Belmore," said he, turning to another of the +visitors who had accompanied him, "I pledge you my honour that what I +state is true; and I request that you will immediately demand the +release of this poor young man." + +"I assure you, sir, that I have Lord Privilege's letter," observed the +doctor. + +"Lord Privilege is a scoundrel," replied General O'Brien. "But there is +justice to be obtained in this country, and he shall pay dearly for his +_lettre de cachet_. My dear Peter, how fortunate was my visit to this +horrid place! I had heard so much of the excellent arrangements of this +establishment, that I agreed to walk round with Lord Belmore; but I find +that it is abused." + +"Indeed, General O'Brien, I have been treated with kindness," replied I; +"and particularly by this gentleman. It was not his fault." + +General O'Brien and Lord Belmore then inquired of the doctor if he had +any objection to my release. + +"None whatever, my lord, even if he were insane; although I now see how +I have been imposed upon. We allow the friends of any patient to remove +him, if they think that they can pay him more attention. He may leave +with you this moment." + +I now did feel my brain turn with the revulsion from despair to hope, +and I fell back in my seat. The doctor, perceiving my condition, bled me +copiously, and laid me on the bed, where I remained more than an hour, +watched by General O'Brien. I then got up, calm and thankful. I was +shaved by the barber of the establishment, washed and dressed myself, +and, leaning on the general's arm, was let out. I cast my eyes upon the +two celebrated stone figures of Melancholy and Raving Madness, as I +passed them; I trembled, and clung more tightly to the general's arm, +was assisted into the carriage, and bade farewell to madness and misery. +The general said nothing until we approached the hotel where he resided, +in Dover-street, and then he inquired, in a low voice, whether I could +bear more excitement. + +"It is Celeste you mean, general?" + +"It is, my dear boy; she is here;" and he squeezed my hand. + +"Alas!" cried I, "what hopes have I now of Celeste?" + +"More than you had before," replied the general. "She lives but for you; +and if you are a beggar, I have a competence to make you sufficiently +comfortable." + +I returned the general's pressure of the hand, but could not speak. We +descended, and in a minute I was led by the father into the arms of the +astonished daughter. + +I must pass over a few days, during which I had almost recovered my +health and spirits, and had narrated my adventures to General O'Brien +and Celeste. My first object was to discover my sister. What had become +of poor Ellen, in the destitute condition in which she had been left I +knew not; and I resolved to go down to the vicarage, and make inquiries. +I did not, however, set off until a legal adviser had been sent for by +General O'Brien, and due notice given to Lord Privilege of an action to +be immediately brought against him for false imprisonment. + +I set off in the mail, and the next evening arrived at the town of----. +I hastened to the parsonage, and the tears stood in my eyes as I thought +of my mother, my poor father, and the peculiar and doubtful situation of +my dear sister. I was answered by a boy in livery, and found the present +incumbent at home. He received me politely, listened to my story, and +then replied that my sister had set off for London on the day of his +arrival, and that she had not communicated her intentions to any one. +Here, then, was all clue lost, and I was in despair. I walked to the +town in time to throw myself into the mail, and the next evening joined +Celeste and the general, to whom I communicated the intelligence, and +requested advice how to proceed. + +Lord Belmore called the next morning, and the general consulted him. His +lordship took great interest in my concerns, and, previous to any +further steps, advised me to step into his carriage, and allow him to +relate my case to the First Lord of the Admiralty. This was done +immediately; and, as I had now an opportunity of speaking freely to his +lordship, I explained to him the conduct of Captain Hawkins, and his +connection with my uncle; also the reason of my uncle's persecution. His +lordship, finding me under such powerful protection as Lord Belmore's, +and having an eye to my future claims, which my uncle's conduct gave him +reason to suppose were well founded, was extremely gracious, and said +that I should hear from him in a day or two. He kept his word, and, on +the third day after my interview, I received a note, announcing my +promotion to the rank of commander. I was delighted with this good +fortune, as was General O'Brien and Celeste. + +When at the Admiralty, I inquired about O'Brien, and found that he was +expected home every day. He had gained great reputation in the East +Indies, was chief in command at the taking of some of the islands, and, +it was said, was to be created a baronet for his services. Everything +wore a favourable aspect, excepting the disappearance of my sister. This +was a weight on my mind I could not remove. + +But I have forgotten to inform the reader by what means General O'Brien +and Celeste arrived so opportunely in England. Martinique had been +captured by our forces about six months before, and the whole of the +garrison surrendered as prisoners of war. General O'Brien was sent home, +and allowed to be on parole; although born a Frenchman, he had very high +connections in Ireland, of whom Lord Belmore was one. When they arrived, +they had made every inquiry for me without success; they knew that I had +been tried by a court-martial, and dismissed my ship, but after that, no +clue could be found for my discovery. + +Celeste, who was fearful that some dreadful accident had occurred to me, +had suffered very much in health; and General O'Brien, perceiving how +much his daughter's happiness depended upon her attachment for me, had +made up his mind that if I were found we should be united. I hardly need +say how delighted he was when he discovered me, though in a situation so +little to be envied. + +The story of my incarceration, of the action to be brought against my +uncle, and the reports of foul play relative to the succession, had in +the meantime been widely circulated among the nobility; and I found that +every attention was paid me, and I was repeatedly invited out as an +object of curiosity and speculation. The loss of my sister also was a +subject of much interest, and many people, from goodwill, made every +inquiry to discover her. I had returned one day from the solicitor's, +who had advertised for her in the newspapers without success, when I +found a letter for me on the table, in an Admiralty enclosure. I opened +it--the enclosure was one from O'Brien, who had just cast anchor at +Spithead, and who had requested that the letter should be forwarded to +me, if any one could tell my address. I tore it open. + + "My dear Peter,--Where are, and what has become of, you? I have + received no letters for these two years, and I have fretted myself to + death. I received your letter about the rascally court-martial; but + perhaps you have not heard that the little scoundrel is dead. Yes, + Peter; he brought your letter out in his own ship, and that was his + death-warrant. I met him at a private party. He brought up your name-- + I allowed him to abuse you, and then told him he was a liar and a + scoundrel; upon which he challenged me, very much against his will; + but the affront was so public, that he couldn't help himself. Upon + which I shot him, with all the good-will in the world, and could he + have jumped up again twenty times, like Jack-in-the-Box, I would have + shot him every time. The dirty scoundrel! but there's an end of him. + Nobody pitied him, for every one hated him; and the admiral only + looked grave, and then was very much obliged to me for giving him a + vacancy for his nephew. By-the-bye, from some unknown hand, but I + presume from the officers of his ship, I received a packet of + correspondence between him and your worthy uncle, which is about as + elegant a piece of rascality as ever was carried on between two + scoundrels; but that's not all, Peter. I've got a young woman for you + who will make your heart glad--not Mademoiselle Celeste, for I don't + know where she is--but the wet-nurse who went out to India. Her + husband was sent home as an invalid, and she was allowed her passage + home with him in my frigate. Finding that he belonged to the regiment, + I talked to him about one O'Sullivan, who married in Ireland, and + mentioned the girl's name, and when he discovered that he was a + countryman of mine he told me that his real name was O'Sullivan, sure + enough, but that he had always served as O'Connell, and that his wife + on board was the young woman in question. Upon which I sent to speak + to her, and telling her that I knew all about it, and mentioning the + names of Ella Flanagan and her mother, who had given me the + information, she was quite astonished; and when I asked her what had + become of the child which she took in place of her own, she told me + that it had been drowned at Plymouth, and that her husband was saved + at the same time by a young officer, 'whose name I have here,' says + she; and then she pulled out of her neck your card, with Peter Simple + on it. 'Now,' says I, 'do you know, good woman, that in helping on the + rascally exchange of children, you ruin that very young man who saved + your husband, for you deprive him of his title and property?" She + stared like a stuck pig, when I said so, and then cursed and blamed + herself, and declared she'd right you as soon as we came home; and + most anxious she is still to do so, for she loves the very name of + you; so you see, Peter, a good action has its reward sometimes in this + world, and a bad action also, seeing as how I've shot that confounded + villain who dared to ill-use you. I have plenty more to say to you, + Peter; but I don't like writing what, perhaps, may never be read, so + I'll wait till I hear from you; and then, as soon as I get through my + business, we will set to and trounce that scoundrel of an uncle. I + have twenty thousand pounds jammed together in the Consolidated, + besides the Spice Islands, which will be a pretty penny; and every + farthing of it shall go to right you, Peter, and make a lord of you, + as I promised you often that you should be; and if you win you shall + pay, and if you don't then d--n the luck and d--n the money too. I beg + you will offer my best regards to Miss Ellen, and say how happy I + shall be to hear that she is well; but it has always been on my mind, + Peter, that your father did not leave too much behind him, and I wish + to know how you both get on. I left you a _carte blanche_ at my + agent's, and I only hope that you have taken advantage of it, if + required; if not, you're not the Peter that I left behind me. So now, + farewell, and don't forget to answer my letter in no time. Ever yours, + + "Terence O'Brien." + +This was indeed joyful intelligence. I handed the letter to General +O'Brien, who read it, Celeste hanging over his shoulder, and perusing it +at the same time. + +"This is well," said the General. "Peter, I wish you joy, and Celeste, I +ought to wish you joy also at your future prospects. It will indeed be a +gratification if ever I hail you as Lady Privilege." + +"Celeste," said I, "you did not reject me when I was pennyless, and in +disgrace. O my poor sister Ellen! If I could but find you, how happy +should I be!" + +I sat down to write to O'Brien, acquainting him with all that had +occurred, and the loss of my dear sister. The day after the receipt of +my letter, O'Brien burst into the room. After the first moments of +congratulation were past, he said, "My heart's broke, Peter, about your +sister Ellen: find her I must. I shall give up my ship, for I'll never +give up the search as long as I live. I must find her." + +"Do, pray, my dear O'Brien, and I only wish--" + +"Wish what, Peter? shall I tell you what I wish?--that if I find her, +you'll give her to me for my trouble." + +"As far as I am concerned, O'Brien, nothing would give me greater +pleasure; but God knows to what wretchedness and want may have compelled +her." + +"Shame on you, Peter, to think so of your sister. I pledge my honour for +her. Poor, miserable, and unhappy she may be--but no--no, Peter. You +don't know--you don't love her as I do, if you can allow such thoughts +to enter your mind." + +This conversation took place at the window: we then turned round to +General O'Brien and Celeste. + +"Captain O'Brien," said the general. + +"Sir Terence O'Brien, if you please, general. His Majesty has given me a +handle to my name." + +"I congratulate you, Sir Terence," said the general, shaking him by the +hand: "what I was about to say is, that I hope you will take up your +quarters at this hotel, and we will all live together. I trust that we +shall soon find Ellen: in the meanwhile we have no time to lose, in our +exposure of Lord Privilege. Is the woman in town?" + +"Yes, and under lock and key; but the devil a fear of her. Millions +would not bribe her to wrong him who risked his life for her husband. +She's Irish, general, to the back bone. Nevertheless, Peter, we must go +to our solicitor, to give the intelligence, that he may take the +necessary steps." + +For three weeks, O'Brien was diligent in his search for Ellen, employing +every description of emissary without success. In the meanwhile, the +general and I were prosecuting our cause against Lord Privilege. One +morning, Lord Belmore called upon us, and asked the general if we would +accompany him to the theatre, to see two celebrated pieces performed. In +the latter, which was a musical farce, a new performer was to come out, +of whom report spoke highly. Celeste consented, and after an early +dinner, we joined his lordship in his private box, which was above the +stage, on the first tier. The first piece was played, and Celeste, who +had never seen the performance of Young, was delighted. The curtain then +drew up for the second piece. In the second act, the new performer, a +Miss Henderson, was led by the manager on the stage; she was apparently +much frightened and excited, but three rounds of applause gave her +courage, and she proceeded. At the very first notes of her voice I was +startled, and O'Brien, who was behind, threw himself forward to look at +her; but as we were almost directly above, and her head was turned the +other way, we could not distinguish her features. As she proceeded in +her song, she gained courage, and her face was turned towards us, and +she cast her eyes up--saw me--the recognition was mutual--I held out my +arm, but could not speak--she staggered, and fell down in a swoon. + +"'Tis Ellen!" cried O'Brien, rushing past me; and making one spring down +on the stage, he carried her off, before any other person could come to +her assistance. I followed him, and found him with Ellen still in his +arms, and the actresses assisting in her recovery. The manager came +forward to apologize, stating that the young lady was too ill to +proceed, and the audience, who had witnessed the behaviour of O'Brien +and myself, were satisfied with the romance in real life which had been +exhibited. Her part was read by another, but the piece was little +attended to, every one trying to find out the occasion of this uncommon +occurrence. In the meantime, Ellen was put into a hackney-coach by +O'Brien and me, and we drove to the hotel, where we were soon joined by +the general and Celeste. + + + + +Chapter LXV + +It never rains but it pours, whether it be good or bad news--I succeed +in everything, and to everything, my wife, my title, and estate--And +"All's well that ends well." + + +I shall pass over the scenes which followed, and give my sister's +history in her own words. + +"I wrote to you, my dear Peter, to tell you that I considered it my duty +to pay all my father's debts with your money, and that there were but +sixty pounds left when every claim had been satisfied; and I requested +you to come to me as soon as you could, that I might have your counsel +and assistance as to my future arrangements." + +"I received your letter, Ellen, and was hastening to you, when--but no +matter, I will tell my story afterwards." + +"Day after day I waited with anxiety for a letter, and then wrote to the +officers of the ship to know if any accident had occurred. I received an +answer from the surgeon, informing me that you had quitted Portsmouth to +join me, and had not since been heard of. You may imagine my distress at +this communication, as I did not doubt but that something dreadful had +occurred, as I knew, too well, that nothing would have detained you from +me at such a time. The new vicar appointed had come down to look over +the house, and to make arrangements for bringing in his family. The +furniture he had previously agreed to take at a valuation, and the sum +had been appropriated in liquidation of your father's debts. I had +already been permitted to remain longer than was usual, and had no +alternative but to quit, which I did not do until the last moment. I +could not leave my address, for I knew not where I was to go. I took my +place in the coach, and arrived in London. My first object was to secure +the means of livelihood, by offering myself as a governess; but I found +great difficulties from not being able to procure a good reference, and +from not having already served in that capacity. At last I was taken +into a family to bring up three little girls; but I soon found out how +little chance I had of comfort. The lady had objected to me as too +good-looking--for this same reason the gentleman insisted upon my being +engaged. + +"Thus was I a source of disunion; the lady treated me with harshness, +and the gentleman with too much attention. At last her ill-treatment and +his persecution, were both so intolerable, that I gave notice that I +should leave my situation." + +"I beg pardon, Miss Ellen, but you will oblige me with the name and +residence of that gentleman?" said O'Brien. + +"Indeed, Ellen, do no such thing," replied I; "continue your story." + +"I could not obtain another situation as governess; for, as I always +stated where I had been, and did not choose to give the precise reason +for quitting, merely stating that I was not comfortable, whenever the +lady was called upon for my character, she invariably spoke of me so as +to prevent my obtaining a situation. At last I was engaged as teacher to +a school. I had better have taken a situation as housemaid. I was +expected to be everywhere, to do everything; was up at daylight, and +never in bed till past midnight; fared very badly, and was equally ill +paid; but still it was honest employment, and I remained there for more +than a year; but, though as economical as possible, my salary would not +maintain me in clothes and washing, which was all I required. There was +a master of elocution, who came every week, and whose wife was the +teacher of music. They took a great liking to me, and pointed out how +much better I should be off if I could succeed on the stage, of which +they had no doubt. For months I refused, hoping still to have some +tidings of you; but at last my drudgery became so insupportable, and my +means so decreased, that I unwillingly consented. It was then nineteen +months since I had heard of you, and I mourned you as dead. I had no +relations except my uncle, and I was unknown even to him. I quitted the +situation, and took up my abode with the teacher of elocution and his +wife, who treated me with every kindness, and prepared me for my new +career. Neither at the school, which was three miles from London, nor at +my new residence, which was over Westminster-bridge, did I ever see a +newspaper. It was no wonder, therefore, that I did not know of your +advertisements. After three months' preparation I was recommended and +introduced to the manager by my kind friends, and accepted. You know the +rest." + +"Well, Miss Ellen, if any one ever tells you that you were on the stage, +at all events you may reply that you wasn't there long." + +"I trust not long enough to be recognised," replied she. "I recollect +how often I have expressed my disgust at those who would thus consent to +exhibit themselves; but circumstances strangely alter our feelings. I +do, however, trust that I should have been respectable, even as an +actress." + +"That you would, Miss Ellen," replied O'Brien. "What did I tell you, +Peter?" + +"You pledged your honour that nothing would induce Ellen to disgrace her +family, I recollect, O'Brien." + +"Thank you, Sir Terence, for your good opinion," replied Ellen. + +My sister had been with us about three days, during which I had informed +her of all that had taken place, when, one evening, finding myself alone +with her, I candidly stated to her what were O'Brien's feelings towards +her, and pleaded his cause with all the earnestness in my power. + +"My dear brother," she replied, "I have always admired Captain O'Brien's +character, and always have felt grateful to him for his kindness and +attachment to you; but I cannot say that I love him. I have never +thought about him except as one to whom we are both much indebted." + +"But do you mean to say that you could not love him?" + +"No, I do not; and I will do all I can, Peter--I will try. I never will, +if possible, make him unhappy who has been so kind to you." + +"Depend upon it, Ellen, that with your knowledge of O'Brien, and with +feelings of gratitude to him, you will soon love him, if once you accept +him as a suitor. May I tell him--" + +"You may tell him that he may plead his own cause, my dear brother; and, +at all events, I will listen to no other until he has had fair play; but +recollect that at present I only _like_ him--like him _very much,_ it is +true; but still I only _like_ him." + +I was quite satisfied with my success, and so was O'Brien, when I told +him. "By the powers, Peter, she's an angel, and I can't expect her to +love an inferior being like myself; but if she'll only like me well +enough to marry me, I'll trust to after-marriage for the rest. Love +comes with the children, Peter. Well, but you need not say that to her-- +divil a bit--they shall come upon her like old age, without her +perceiving it." + +O'Brien having thus obtained permission, certainly lost no time in +taking advantage of it. Celeste and I were more fondly attached every +day. The solicitor declared my case so good, that he could raise fifty +thousand pounds upon it. In short, all our causes were prosperous, when +an event occurred, the details of which, of course, I did not obtain +until some time afterwards, but which I shall narrate here. + +My uncle was very much alarmed when he discovered that I had been +released from Bedlam--still more so, when he had notice given him of a +suit, relative to the succession to the title. His emissaries had +discovered that the wet-nurse had been brought home in O'Brien's +frigate, and was kept so close that they could not communicate with her. +He now felt that all his schemes would prove abortive. His legal adviser +was with him, and they had been walking in the garden, talking over the +contingencies, when they stopped close to the drawing-room windows of +the mansion at Eagle Park. + +"But, sir," observed the lawyer, "if you will not confide in me, I +cannot act for your benefit. You still assert that nothing of the kind +has taken place?" + +"I do," replied his lordship. "It is a foul invention." + +"Then, my lord, may I ask you why you considered it advisable to +imprison Mr Simple in Bedlam?" + +"Because I hate him," retorted his lordship,--"detest him." + +"And for what reason, my lord? his character is unimpeached, and he is +your near relative." + +"I tell you, sir, that I hate him--would that he were now lying dead at +my feet!" + +Hardly were the words out of my uncle's mouth, when a whizzing was heard +for a second, and then something fell down within a foot of where they +stood, with a heavy crash. They started--turned round--the adopted heir +lay lifeless at their feet, and their legs were bespattered with his +blood and his brains. The poor boy, seeing his lordship below, had +leaned out of one of the upper windows to call to him, but lost his +balance, and had fallen head foremost upon the wide stone pavement which +surrounded the mansion. For a few seconds the lawyer and my uncle looked +upon each other with horror. + +"A judgment!--a judgment!" cried the lawyer, looking at his client. My +uncle covered his face with his hands, and fell. Assistance now came +out, but there was more than one to help up. The violence of his emotion +had brought on an apoplectic fit, and my uncle, although he breathed, +never spoke again. + +It was in consequence of this tragical event, of which we did not know +the particulars until afterwards, that the next morning my solicitor +called upon me, and put a letter into my hand, saying, "Allow me to +congratulate your lordship." We were all at breakfast at the time, and +the general, O'Brien, and myself jumped up, all in such astonishment at +this unexpected title being so soon conferred upon me, that we had a +heavy bill for damages to pay; and had not Ellen caught the tea-urn, as +it was tipping over, there would, in all probability, have been a +doctor's bill into the bargain. The letter was eagerly read--it was from +my uncle's legal adviser, who had witnessed the catastrophe, informing +me, that all dispute as to the succession was at an end by the tragical +event that had taken place, and that he had put seals upon everything, +awaiting my arrival or instructions. The solicitor, as he presented the +letter, said that he would take his leave, and call again in an hour or +two, when I was more composed. My first movement, when I had read the +letter aloud, was to throw my arms round Celeste, and embrace her--and +O'Brien, taking the hint, did the same to Ellen, and was excused in +consideration of circumstances; but, as soon as she could disengage +herself, her arms were entwined round my neck, while Celeste was hanging +on her father's. Having disposed of the ladies, the gentlemen now shook +hands, and though we had not all appetites to finish our breakfasts, +never was there a happier quintette. + +In about an hour my solicitor returned, and congratulated me, and +immediately set about the necessary preparations. I desired him to go +down immediately to Eagle Park, attend to the funeral of my uncle, and +the poor little boy who had paid so dearly for his intended advancement, +and take charge from my uncle's legal adviser, who remained in the +house. The "dreadful accident in high life" found its way into the +papers of the day, and before dinner time a pile of visiting cards was +poured in, which covered the table. The next day a letter arrived from +the First Lord, announcing that he had made out my commission as +post-captain, and trusted that I would allow him the pleasure of +presenting it himself at his dinner hour, at half-past seven. Very much +obliged to him, the "fool of the family" might have waited a long while +for it. + +While I was reading this letter, the waiter came up to say that a young +woman below wanted to speak to me. I desired her to be shown up. As soon +as she came in, she burst into tears, knelt down, and kissed my hand. + +"Sure, it's you--oh! yes--it's you that saved my poor husband when I was +assisting to your ruin. And an't I punished for my wicked doings--an't +my poor boy dead?" + +She said no more, but remained on her knees, sobbing bitterly. Of +course, the reader recognises in her the wet-nurse who had exchanged her +child. I raised her up, and desired her to apply to my solicitor to pay +her expenses, and leave her address. + +"But do you forgive me, Mr Simple? It's not that I have forgiven +myself." + +"I do forgive you with all my heart, my good woman. You have been +punished enough." + +"I have, indeed," replied she, sobbing; "but don't I deserve it all, and +more too? God's blessing, and all the saints' too, upon your head, for +your kind forgiveness, anyhow. My heart is lighter." And she quitted the +room. + +She had scarcely quitted the hotel, when the waiter came up again. +"Another lady, my lord, wishes to speak with you, but she won't give her +name." + +"Really, my lord, you seem to have an extensive female acquaintance," +said the general. + +"At all events, I am not aware of any that I need be ashamed of. Show +the lady up, waiter." + +In a moment entered a fat, unwieldly little mortal, very warm from +walking; she sat down in a chair, threw back her tippet, and then +exclaimed, "Lord bless you, how you have grown! Gemini, if I can hardly +believe my eyes; and I declare he don't know me." + +"I really cannot exactly recollect where I had the pleasure of seeing +you before, madam." + +"Well, that's what I said to Jemima, when I went down in the kitchen. +'Jemima,' says I, 'I wonder if little Peter Simple will know me.' And +Jemima says, 'I think he would the parrot, marm.'" + +"Mrs Handycock, I believe," said I, recollecting Jemima and the parrot, +although, from a little thin woman, she had grown so fat as not to be +recognisable. + +"Oh! so you've found me out, Mr Simple--my lord, I ought to say. Well, I +need not ask after your grandfather now, for I know he's dead; but as I +was coming this way for orders, I thought I would just step in and see +how you looked." + +"I trust Mr Handycock is well, ma'am. Pray is he a bull or a bear?" + +"Lord bless you, Mr Simple, my lord, I should say, he's been neither +bull nor bear for this three years. He was obliged to _waddle_. If I +didn't know much about bulls and bears, I know very well what a _lame +duck_ is, to my cost. We're off the Stock Exchange, and Mr Handycock is +set up as a coal merchant." + +"Indeed!" + +"Yes; that is, we have no coals, but we take orders, and have +half-a-crown a chaldron for our trouble. As Mr Handycock says, it's a +very good business, if you only had enough of it. Perhaps your lordship +may be able to give us an order. It's nothing out of your pocket, and +something into ours." + +"I shall be very happy, when I return again to town, Mrs Handycock. I +hope the parrot is quite well." + +"Oh! my lord, that's a sore subject; only think of Mr Handycock, when we +retired from the 'Change, taking my parrot one day and selling it for +five guineas, saying, five guineas were better than a nasty squalling +bird. To be sure, there was nothing for dinner that day; but, as Jemima +agreed with me, we'd rather have gone without a dinner for a month, than +have parted with Poll. Since we've looked up a little in the world, I +saved up five guineas, by hook or by crook, and tried to get Poll back +again, but the lady said she wouldn't take fifty guineas for him." + +Mrs Handycock then jumped from her chair, saying, "Good morning, my +lord; I'll leave one of Mr Handycock's cards. Jemima would be so glad to +see you." + +As she left the room, Celeste laughingly asked me whether I had any more +such acquaintances. I replied, that I believed not; but I must +acknowledge that Mrs Trotter was brought to my recollection, and I was +under some alarm, lest she should also come and pay me her respects. + +The next day I had another unexpected visit. We had just sat down to +dinner, when we heard a disturbance below; and, shortly after, the +general's French servant came up in great haste, saying that there was a +foreigner below, who wished to see me: and that he had been caning one +of the waiters of the hotel, for not paying him proper respect. + +"Who can that be?" thought I: and I went out of the door, and looked +over the banisters, as the noise continued. + +"You must not come here to beat Englishmen, I can tell you," roared one +of the waiters. "What do we care for your foreign counts?" + +"Sacre, canaille?" cried the other party, in a contemptuous voice, which +I well knew. + +"Ay, canal!--we'll duck you in the canal, if you don't mind." + +"You will!" said the stranger, who had hitherto spoken French. "Allow me +to observe--in the most delicate manner in the world--just to hint, that +you are a d----d trencher-scraping, napkin-carrying, shilling-seeking, +up-and-down-stairs son of a bitch--and take this for your impudence!" + +The noise of the cane was again heard; and I hastened downstairs, where +I found Count Shucksen thrashing two or three of the waiters without +mercy. At my appearance, the waiters, who were showing fight, retreated +to a short distance, out of reach of the cane. + +"My dear count," exclaimed I, "is it you?" + +"My dear Lord Privilege, will you excuse me? but these fellows are +saucy." + +"Then I'll have them discharged," replied I. "If a friend of mine, and +an officer of your rank and distinction, cannot come to see me without +insult, I will seek another hotel." + +This threat of mine, and the reception I gave the count, put all to +rights. The waiters sneaked off, and the master of the hotel apologised. +It appeared that they had desired him to wait in the coffee-room until +they could announce him, which had hurt the count's dignity. + +"We are just sitting down to dinner, count; will you join us?" + +"As soon as I have improved my toilet, my dear lord," replied he; "you +must perceive that I am off a journey." + +The master of the hotel bowed, and proceeded to show the count to a +dressing-room. When I returned upstairs--"What was the matter?" +inquired O'Brien. + +"Oh, nothing!--a little disturbance in consequence of a foreigner not +understanding English." + +In about five minutes the waiter opened the door, and announced Count +Shucksen. + +"Now, O'Brien, you'll be puzzled," said I; and in came the count. + +"My dear Lord Privilege," said he, coming up and taking me by the hand, +"let me not be the last to congratulate you upon your accession. I was +running up the channel in my frigate when a pilot-boat gave me a +newspaper, in which I saw your unexpected change of circumstances. I +made an excuse for dropping my anchor at Spithead this morning, and I +have come up post, to express how sincerely I participate in your good +fortune." Count Shucksen then politely saluted the ladies and the +general, and turned round to O'Brien, who had been staring at him with +astonishment. "Count Shucksen, allow me to introduce Sir Terence +O'Brien." + +"By the piper that played before Moses, but it's a puzzle," said +O'Brien. "Blood and thunder! if it a'n't Chucks!--my dear fellow, when +did you rise from your grave?" + +"Fortunately," replied the count, as they shook each other's hands for +some time, "I never went into it, Sir Terence. But now, with your +permission, my lord, I'll take some food, as I really am not a little +hungry. After dinner, Captain O'Brien, you shall hear my history." + +His secret was confided to the whole party, upon my pledging myself for +their keeping it locked up in their own breasts, which was a bold thing +on my part, considering that two of them were ladies. The count stayed +with us for some time, and was introduced everywhere. It was impossible +to discover that he had not been bred up in a court, his manners were so +good. He was a great favourite with the ladies; and his moustachios, bad +French, and waltzing--an accomplishment he had picked up in Sweden--were +quite the vogue. All the ladies were sorry when the Swedish count +announced his departure by a P.P.C. + +Before I left town I called upon the First Lord of the Admiralty, and +procured for Swinburne a first-rate building--that is to say, ordered to +be built. This he had often said he wished, as he was tired of the sea, +after a service of forty-five years. Subsequently I obtained leave of +absence for him every year, and he used to make himself very happy at +Eagle Park. Most of his time was, however, passed on the lake, either +fishing or rowing about; telling long stories to all who would join him +in his water excursions. + +A fortnight after my assuming my title, we set off for Eagle Park, and +Celeste consented to my entreaties that the wedding should take place +that day month. Upon this hint O'Brien spake; and, to oblige _me_, Ellen +consented that we should be united on the same day. + +O'Brien wrote to Father M'Grath; but the letter was returned by post, +with "_dead_" marked upon the outside. O'Brien then wrote to one of his +sisters, who informed him that Father M'Grath would cross the bog one +evening when he had taken a very large proportion of whisky; and that he +was seen out of the right path, and had never been heard of afterwards. + +On the day appointed we were all united, and both unions have been +attended with as much happiness as this world can afford. Both O'Brien +and I are blessed with children, which, as O'Brien observed, have come +upon us like old age, until we now can muster a large Christmas party in +the two families. The general's head is white, and he sits and smiles, +happy in his daughter's happiness, and in the gambols of his +grandchildren. + +Such, reader, is the history of Peter Simple, Viscount Privilege, no +longer the fool, but the head of the family, who now bids you farewell. + +THE END. + + + + + + + + +The Three Cutters + + + + +Chapter I + +CUTTER THE FIRST + + +Reader, have you ever been at Plymouth? If you have, your eye must have +dwelt with ecstasy upon the beautiful property of the Earl of Mount +Edgcumbe: if you have not been at Plymouth, the sooner that you go +there, the better. At Mount Edgcumbe you will behold the finest timber +in existence, towering up to the summits of the hills, and feathering +down to the shingle on the beach. And from this lovely spot you will +witness one of the most splendid panoramas in the world. You will see--I +hardly know what you will not see--you will see Ram Head, and Cawsand +Bay; and then you will see the Breakwater, and Drake's Island, and the +Devil's Bridge below you; and the town of Plymouth and its +fortifications, and the Hoe; and then you will come to the Devil's +Point, round which the tide runs devilish strong; and then you will see +the New Victualling Office,--about which Sir James Gordon used to stump +all day, and take a pinch of snuff from every man who carried a box, +which all were delighted to give, and he was delighted to receive, +proving how much pleasure may be communicated merely by a pinch of +snuff--and then you will see Mount Wise and Mutton Cove; the town of +Devonport, with its magnificent dockyard and arsenals, North Corner, and +the way which leads to Saltash. And you will see ships building and +ships in ordinary; and ships repairing and ships fitting; and hulks and +convict ships, and the guardship; ships ready to sail and ships under +sail; besides lighters, men-of-war's boats, dockyard-boats, bumboats, +and shore-boats. In short, there is a great deal to see at Plymouth +besides the sea itself: but what I particularly wish now, is, that you +will stand at the battery of Mount Edgecumbe and look into Barn Pool +below you, and there you will see, lying at single anchor, a cutter; and +you may also see, by her pendant and ensign, that she is a yacht. + +Of all the amusements entered into by the nobility and gentry of our +island there is not one so manly, so exciting, so patriotic, or so +national, as yacht-sailing. It is peculiar to England, not only from our +insular position and our fine harbours, but because it requires a +certain degree of energy and a certain amount of income rarely to be +found elsewhere. It has been wisely fostered by our sovereigns, who have +felt that the security of the kingdom is increased by every man being +more or less a sailor, or connected with the nautical profession. It is +an amusement of the greatest importance to the country; as it has much +improved our ship-building and our ship-fitting, while it affords +employment to our seamen and shipwrights. But if I were to say all that +I could say in praise of yachts, I should never advance with my +narrative. I shall therefore drink a bumper to the health of Admiral +Lord Yarborough and the Yacht Club, and proceed. + +You observe that this yacht is cutter-rigged, and that she sits +gracefully on the smooth water. She is just heaving up her anchor; her +foresail is loose, all ready to cast her--in a few minutes she will be +under weigh. You see that there are some ladies sitting at the taffrail; +and there are five haunches of venison hanging over the stern. Of all +amusements, give me yachting. But we must go on board. The deck, you +observe, is of narrow deal planks as white as snow; the guns are of +polished brass; the bitts and binnacles of mahogany; she is painted with +taste; and all the mouldings are gilded. There is nothing wanting; and +yet how clear and unencumbered are her decks! Let us go below. This is +the ladies' cabin: can anything be more tasteful or elegant? is it not +luxurious? and, although so small, does not its very confined space +astonish you, when you view so many comforts so beautifully arranged? +This is the dining-room, and where the gentlemen repair. What can be +more complete or _recherché_? and just peep into their state-rooms and +bed-places. Here is the steward's room and the beaufet: the steward is +squeezing lemons for the punch, and there is the champagne in ice; and +by the side of the pail the long-corks are ranged up, all ready. Now, +let us go forwards: here are the men's berths, not confined as in a +man-of-war. No! luxury starts from abaft, and is not wholly lost, even +at the fore-peak. This is the kitchen: is it not admirably arranged? +What a _multum in parvo_! And how delightful are the fumes of the +turtle-soup! At sea we do meet with rough weather at times; but, for +roughing it out, give me a _yacht_. Now that I have shown you round the +vessel, I must introduce the parties on board. + +You observe that florid, handsome man in white trousers and blue jacket, +who has a telescope in one hand, and is sipping a glass of brandy and +water which he has just taken off the skylight. That is the owner of the +vessel, and a member of the Yacht Club. It is Lord B--: he looks like a +sailor, and he does not much belie his looks; yet I have seen him in his +robes of state at the opening of the House of Lords. The one near to him +is Mr Stewart, a lieutenant in the navy. He holds on by the rigging with +one hand, because, having been actively employed all his life, he does +not know what to do with hands which have nothing in them. He is +_protégé_ of Lord B., and is now on board as sailing-master of the +yacht. + +That handsome, well-built man who is standing by the binnacle, is a Mr +Hautaine. He served six years as midshipman in the navy, and did not +like it. He then served six years in a cavalry regiment, and did not +like it. He then married, and in a much shorter probation, found that he +did not like that. But he is very fond of yachts and other men's wives, +if he does not like his own; and wherever he goes, he is welcome. + +That young man with an embroidered silk waistcoat and white gloves, +bending to talk to one of the ladies, is a Mr Vaughan. He is to be seen +at Almack's, at Crockford's, and everywhere else. Everybody knows him, +and he knows everybody. He is a little in debt, and yachting is +convenient. + +The one who sits by the lady is a relation of Lord B.; you see at once +what he is. He apes the sailor; he has not shaved, because sailors have +no time to shave every day; he has not changed his linen, because +sailors cannot change every day. He has a cigar in his mouth, which +makes him half sick and annoys his company. He talks of the pleasure of +a rough sea, which will drive all the ladies below--and then they will +not perceive that he is more sick than themselves. He has the misfortune +to be born to a large estate, and to be a _fool_. His name is Ossulton. + +The last of the gentlemen on board whom I have to introduce, is Mr +Seagrove. He is slightly made, with marked features full of +intelligence. He has been brought up to the bar; and has every +qualification but application. He has never had a brief, nor has he a +chance of one. He is the fiddler of the company, and he has locked up +his chambers, and come, by invitation of his lordship, to play on board +of his yacht. + +I have yet to describe the ladies--perhaps I should have commenced with +them--I must excuse myself upon the principle of reserving the best to +the last. All puppet-showmen do so: and what is this but the first scene +in my puppet-show? + +We will describe them according to seniority. That tall, thin, +cross-looking lady of forty-five is a spinster, and sister to Lord B. +She has been persuaded very much against her will to come on board; but +her notions of propriety would not permit her niece to embark under the +protection of _only_ her father. She is frightened at everything: if a +rope is thrown down on the deck, up she starts, and cries, "Oh!" if on +the deck, she thinks the water is rushing in below; if down below, and +there is a noise, she is convinced there is danger; and, if it be +perfectly still, she is sure there is something wrong. She fidgets +herself and everybody, and is quite a nuisance with her pride and +ill-humour; but she has strict notions of propriety, and sacrifices +herself as a martyr. She is the Hon. Miss Ossulton. + +The lady who, when she smiles, shows so many dimples in her pretty oval +face, is a young widow of the name of Lascelles. She married an old man +to please her father and mother, which was very dutiful on her part. She +was rewarded by finding herself a widow with a large fortune. Having +married the first time to please her parents, she intends now to marry +to please herself; but she is very young, and is in no hurry. + +The young lady with such a sweet expression of countenance is the Hon. +Miss Cecilia Ossulton. She is lively, witty, and has no fear in her +composition; but she is very young yet, not more than seventeen--and +nobody knows what she really is--she does not know herself. These are +the parties who meet in the cabin of the yacht. The crew consists of ten +fine seamen, the steward, and the cook. There is also Lord B.'s valet, +Mr Ossulton's gentleman, and the lady's maid of Miss Ossulton. There not +being accommodation for them, the other servants have been left on +shore. + +The yacht is now under weigh, and her sails are all set. She is running +between Drake's Island and the main. Dinner has been announced. As the +reader has learnt something about the preparations, I leave him to judge +whether it be not very pleasant to sit down to dinner in a yacht. The +air has given everybody an appetite; and it was not until the cloth was +removed that the conversation became general. + +"Mr Seagrove," said his lordship, "you very nearly lost your passage; I +expected you last Thursday." + +"I am sorry, my lord, that business prevented my sooner attending to +your lordship's kind summons." + +"Come, Seagrove, don't be nonsensical," said Hautaine; "you told me +yourself, the other evening, when you were talkative, that you had never +had a brief in your life." + +"And a very fortunate circumstance," replied Seagrove; "for if I had had +a brief I should not have known what to have done with it. It is not my +fault; I am fit for nothing but a commissioner. But still I had +business, and very important business, too; I was summoned by Ponsonby +to go with him to Tattersall's, to give my opinion about a horse he +wishes to purchase, and then to attend him to Forest Wild to plead his +cause with his uncle." + +"It appears, then, that you were retained," replied Lord B.; "may I ask +you whether your friend gained his cause?" + +"No, my lord, he lost his cause, but he gained a suit." + +"Expound your riddle, sir," said Cecilia Ossulton. + +"The fact is, that old Ponsonby is very anxious that William should +marry Miss Percival, whose estates join on to Forest Wild. Now, my +friend William is about as fond of marriage as I am of law, and thereby +issue was joined." + +"But why were you to be called in?" inquired Mrs Lascelles. + +"Because, madam, as Ponsonby never buys a horse without consulting me--" + +"I cannot see the analogy, sir," observed Miss Ossulton, senior, +bridling up. + +"Pardon me, madam: the fact is," continued Seagrove, "that, as I always +have to back Ponsonby's horses, he thought it right that, in this +instance, I should back him: he required special pleading, but his uncle +tried him for the capital offence, and he was not allowed counsel. As +soon as we arrived, and I had bowed myself into the room, Mr Ponsonby +bowed me out again--which would have been infinitely more jarring to my +feelings, had not the door been left a-jar." + +"Do anything but pun, Seagrove," interrupted Hautaine. + +"Well, then, I will take a glass of wine." + +"Do so," said his lordship; "but, recollect, the whole company are +impatient for your story." + +"I can assure you, my lord, that it was equal to any scene in a comedy." + +Now be it observed that Mr Seagrove had a great deal of comic talent; he +was an excellent mimic, and could alter his voice almost as he pleased. +It was a custom of his to act a scene as between other people, and he +performed it remarkably well. Whenever he said that anything he was +going to narrate was "as good as a comedy," it was generally understood +by those who were acquainted with him, that he was to be asked so to do. +Cecilia Ossulton therefore immediately said, "Pray act it, Mr Seagrove." + +Upon which, Mr Seagrove--premising that he had not only heard, but also +seen all that passed--changing his voice, and suiting the action to the +word, commenced. + +"It may," said he, "be called + + "FIVE THOUSAND ACRES IN A RING-FENCE." + +We shall not describe Mr Seagrove's motions; they must be inferred from +his words. + +"'It will, then, William,' observed Mr Ponsonby, stopping, and turning +to his nephew, after a rapid walk up and down the room with his hands +behind him under his coat, so as to allow the tails to drop their +perpendicular about three inches clear of his body, 'I may say, without +contradiction, be the finest property in the county--five thousand acres +in a ring-fence.' + +"'I dare say it will, uncle,' replied William, tapping his foot as he +lounged in a green morocco easy-chair; 'and so, because you have set +your fancy upon having these two estates enclosed together in a +ring-fence, you wish that I should also be enclosed in a _ring_-fence.' + +"'And a beautiful property it will be,' replied Mr Ponsonby. + +"'Which, uncle?--the estate, or the wife?' + +"'Both, nephew, both; and I expect your consent.' + +"'Uncle, I am not avaricious. Your present property is sufficient for +me. With your permission, instead of doubling the property, and doubling +myself, I will remain your sole heir, and single.' + +"'Observe, William, such an opportunity may not occur again for +centuries. We shall restore Forest Wild to its ancient boundaries. You +know it has been divided nearly two hundred years. We now have a +glorious, golden opportunity of re-uniting the two properties; and when +joined, the estate will be exactly what it was when granted to our +ancestors by Henry the Eighth, at the period of the Reformation. This +house must be pulled down, and the monastery left standing. Then we +shall have our own again, and the property without encumbrance.' + +"'Without encumbrance, uncle! You forget that there will be a wife.' + +"'And you forget that there will be five thousand acres in a +ring-fence.' + +"'Indeed, uncle, you ring it too often in my ears that I should forget +it; but much as I should like to be the happy possessor of such a +property, I do not feel inclined to be the happy possessor of Miss +Percival; and the more so, as I have never seen the property.' + +"'We will ride over it to-morrow, William." + +"'Ride over Miss Percival, uncle! That will not be very gallant. I will, +however, one of these days, ride over the property with you, which, as +well as Miss Percival, I have not as yet seen.' + +"'Then I can tell you, she is a very pretty property.' + +"'If she were not in a ring-fence.' + +"'In good heart, William. That is, I mean an excellent disposition.' + +"'Valuable in matrimony.' + +"'And well tilled--I should say well-educated, by her thee maiden aunts, +who are the patterns of propriety.' + +"'Does any one follow the fashion?' + +"'In a high state of cultivation; that is, her mind highly cultivated, +and according to the last new system--what is it?' + +"'A four-course shift, I presume,' replied William, laughing; 'that is, +dancing, singing, music, and drawing.' + +"'And only seventeen! Capital soil, promising good crops. What would you +have more?' + +"'A very pretty estate, uncle, if it were not the estate of matrimony. I +am sorry, very sorry, to disappoint you; but I must decline taking a +lease of it for life.' + +"'Then, sir, allow me to hint to you that in my testament you are only +tenant-at-will. I consider it a duty that I owe to the family, that the +estate should be re-united. That can only be done by one of our family +marrying Miss Percival; and, as you will not, I shall now write to your +cousin James, and if he accept my proposal, shall make _him_ my heir. +Probably he will more fully appreciate the advantages of five thousand +acres in a ring-fence.' + +"And Mr Ponsonby directed his steps towards the door. + +"'Stop, my dear uncle,' cried William, rising up from his easy-chair; +'we do not quite understand one another. It is very true that I would +prefer half the property and remaining single to the two estates and the +estate of marriage; but, at the same time I did not tell you that I +would prefer beggary to a wife and five thousand acres in a ring-fence. +I know you to be a man of your word;--I accept your proposal, and you +need not put my cousin James to the expense of postage.' + +"'Very good, William; I require no more: and as I know you to be a man +of your word, I shall consider this match as settled. It was on this +account only that I sent for you, and now you may go back again as soon +as you please. I will let you know when all is ready.' + +"'I must be at Tattersall's on Monday, uncle; there is a horse I must +have for next season. Pray, uncle, may I ask when you are likely to want +me?' + +"'Let me see--this is May--about July, I should think.' + +"'July, uncle! Spare me--I cannot marry in the dog-days. No, hang it, +not July.' + +"'Well, William, perhaps, as you must come down once or twice to see the +property--Miss Percival, I should say--it may be too soon--suppose we +put it off till October.' + +"'October--I shall be down at Melton.' + +"'Pray, sir, may I then inquire what portion of the year is not, with +you, _dog_-days?' + +"'Why, uncle, next April, now--I think that would do.' + +"'Next April. Eleven months, and a winter between. Suppose Miss Percival +was to take a cold, and die.' + +"'I should be excessively obliged to her,' thought William. + +"'No! no!' continued Mr Ponsonby: 'there is nothing certain in this +world, William.' + +"'Well, then, uncle, suppose we arrange it for the first _hard frost_.' + +"'We have had no hard frosts lately, William.--We may wait for years.-- +The sooner it is over the better.--Go back to town, buy your horse, and +then come down here--my dear William, to oblige your uncle--never mind +the dog-days.' + +"'Well, sir, if I am to make a sacrifice, it shall not be done by +halves; out of respect for you I will even marry in July, without any +regard to the thermometer.' + +"'You are a good boy, William.--Do you want a cheque?' + +"'I have had one to-day,' thought William, and was almost at fault. 'I +shall be most thankful, sir--they sell horse-flesh by the +ounce now-a-days.' + +"'And you pay in pounds.--There, William.' + +"'Thank you, sir, I'm all obedience; and I'll keep my word, even if +there should be a comet. I'll go and buy the horse, and then I shall be +ready to take the ring-fence as soon as you please.' + +"'Yes, and you'll get over it cleverly, I've no doubt.--Five thousand +acres, William, and--a pretty wife!' + +"'Have you any further commands, uncle?' said William, depositing the +cheque in his pocket-book. + +"'Now, my dear boy, are you going?' + +"'Yes, sir; I dine at the Clarendon.' + +"'Well, then, good-bye.--Make my compliments and excuses to your friend +Seagrove.--You will come on Tuesday or Wednesday.' + +"Thus was concluded the marriage between William Ponsonby and Emily +Percival, and the junction of the two estates, which formed together the +great desideratum,--_five thousand acres in a ring-fence_." + +Mr Seagrove finished, and he looked round for approbation. + +"Very good, indeed, Seagrove," said his lordship, "you must take a glass +of wine after that." + +"I would not give much for Miss Percival's chance of happiness," +observed the elder Miss Ossulton. + +"Of two evils choose the least, they say," observed Mr Hautaine. "Poor +Ponsonby could not help himself." + +"That's a very polite observation of yours, Mr Hautaine--I thank you in +the name of the sex," replied Cecilia Ossulton. + +"Nay, Miss Ossulton; would you like to marry a person whom you never +saw?" + +"Most certainly not; but when you mentioned the two evils, Mr Hautaine, +I appeal to your honour, did you not refer to marriage or beggary?" + +"I must confess it, Miss Ossulton; but it is hardly fair to call on my +honour to get me into a scrape." + +"I only wish that the offer had been made to me," observed Vaughan; "I +should not have hesitated as Ponsonby did." + +"Then I beg you will not think of proposing for me," said Mrs Lascelles, +laughing;--for Mr Vaughan had been excessively attentive. + +"It appears to me, Vaughan," observed Seagrove, "that you have slightly +committed yourself by that remark." + +Vaughan, who thought so too, replied: "Mrs Lascelles must be aware that +I was only joking." + +"Fie! Mr Vaughan," cried Cecilia Ossulton; "you know it came from your +heart." + +"My dear Cecilia," said the elder Miss Ossulton, "you forget yourself-- +what can you possibly know about gentlemen's hearts?" + +"The Bible says, 'that they are deceitful and desperately wicked,' +aunt." + +"And cannot we also quote the Bible against your sex, Miss Ossulton?" +replied Seagrove. + +"Yes, you could, perhaps, if any of you had ever read it," replied Miss +Ossulton, carelessly. + +"Upon my word, Cissy, you are throwing the gauntlet down to the +gentlemen," observed Lord B.; "but I shall throw my warder down, and not +permit this combat _à l'outrance_.--I perceive you drink no more wine, +gentlemen, we will take our coffee on deck." + +"We were just about to retire, my lord," observed the elder Miss +Ossulton, with great asperity: "I have been trying to catch the eye of +Mrs Lascelles for some time, but--" + +"I was looking another way, I presume," interrupted Mrs Lascelles, +smiling. + +"I am afraid that I am the unfortunate culprit," said Mr Seagrove. "I +was telling a little anecdote to Mrs Lascelles--" + +"Which, of course, from its being communicated in an undertone, was not +proper for all the company to hear," replied the elder Miss Ossulton; +"but if Mrs Lascelles is now ready--" continued she, bridling up, as she +rose from her chair. "At all events, I can hear the remainder of it on +deck," replied Mrs Lascelles. The ladies rose, and went into the cabin, +Cecilia and Mrs Lascelles exchanging very significant smiles, as they +followed the precise spinster, who did not choose that Mrs Lascelles +should take the lead, merely because she had once happened to have been +married.--The gentlemen also broke up, and went on deck. + +"We have a nice breeze now, my lord," observed Mr Stewart, who had +remained on deck, "and we lie right up Channel." + +"So much the better," replied his lordship; "we ought to have been +anchored at Cowes a week ago. They will all be there before us." + +"Tell Mr Simpson to bring me a light for my cigar," said Mr Ossulton to +one of the men. + +Mr Stewart went down to his dinner; the ladies and the coffee came on +deck; the breeze was fine, the weather (it was April) almost warm; and +the yacht, whose name was the _Arrow_, assisted by the tide, soon left +the Mewstone far astern. + + + + +Chapter II + +CUTTER THE SECOND + + +Reader, have you ever been at Portsmouth? If you have, you must have +been delighted with the view from the saluting battery; and, if you have +not, you had better go there as soon as you can. From the saluting +battery you may look up the harbour, and see much of what I have +described at Plymouth; the scenery is different; but similar arsenals +and dockyards, and an equal portion of our stupendous navy, are to be +found there.--And you will see Gosport on the other side of the harbour, +and Sally Port close to you; besides a great many other places, which, +from the saluting battery, you cannot see. And then there is Southsea +Beach to your left. Before you, Spithead, with the men-of-war, and the +Motherbank, crowded with merchant vessels;--and there is the buoy where +the _Royal George_ was wrecked, and where she still lies, the fish +swimming in and out of her cabin windows; but that is not all; you can +also see the Isle of Wight,--Ryde, with its long wooden pier, and Cowes, +where the yachts lie. In fact, there is a great deal to be seen at +Portsmouth as well as at Plymouth; but what I wish you particularly to +see, just now, is a vessel holding fast to the buoy, just off the +saluting battery. She is a cutter; and you may know that she belongs to +the Preventive Service by the number of gigs and galleys which she has +hoisted up all round her. She looks like a vessel that was about to sail +with a cargo of boats. Two on deck, one astern, one on each side of her. +You observe that she is painted black, and all her boats are white. She +is not such an elegant vessel as the yacht, and she is much more +lumbered up. She has no haunches of venison over the stern; but I think +there is a leg of mutton, and some cabbages hanging by their stalks. But +revenue-cutters are not yachts.--You will find no turtle or champagne; +but, nevertheless, you will, perhaps, find a joint to carve at, a good +glass of grog, and a hearty welcome. + +Let us go on board.--You observe the guns are iron, and painted black, +and her bulwarks are painted red; it is not a very becoming colour; but +then it lasts a long while, and the dock-yard is not very generous on +the score of paint--or lieutenants of the navy troubled with much spare +cash. She has plenty of men, and fine men they are; all dressed in red +flannel shirts, and blue trousers; some of them have not taken off their +canvas or tarpaulin petticoats, which are very useful to them, as they +are in the boats night and day, and in all weathers. But we will at once +go down into the cabin, where we shall find the lieutenant who commands +her, a master's mate, and a midshipman. They have each their tumbler +before them, and are drinking gin-toddy, hot, with sugar--capital gin, +too, 'bove proof; it is from that small anker, standing under the table. +It was one that they forgot to return to the custom-house when they made +their last seizure. We must introduce them. + +The elderly personage, with grizzly hair and whiskers, a round pale +face, and a somewhat red nose (being too much in the wind will make the +nose red, and this old officer is very often "in the wind," of course, +from the very nature of his profession), is a Lieutenant Appleboy. He +has served in every class of vessel in the service, and done the duty of +first lieutenant for twenty years; he is now on promotion--that is to +say, after he has taken a certain number of tubs of gin, he will be +rewarded with his rank as commander. It is a pity that what he takes +inside of him does not count, for he takes it morning, noon, and night. +--He is just filling his fourteenth glass: he always keeps a regular +account, as he never exceeds his limited number, which is seventeen; +then he is exactly down to his bearings. + +The master's mate's name is Tomkins; he has served his six years three +times over, and has now outgrown his ambition; which is fortunate for +him, as his chances of promotion are small. He prefers a small vessel to +a large one, because he is not obliged to be so particular in his dress +--and looks for his lieutenancy whenever there shall be another charity +promotion. He is fond of soft bread, for his teeth are all absent +without leave; he prefers porter to any other liquor, but he can drink +his glass of grog, whether it be based upon rum, brandy, or the liquor +now before him. + +Mr Smith is the name of that young gentleman, whose jacket is so out at +the elbows; he has been intending to mend it these last two months, but +is too lazy to go to his chest for another. He has been turned out of +half the ships in the service for laziness; but he was born so--and +therefore it is not his fault.--A revenue-cutter suits him, she is half +her time hove to; and he has no objection to boat-service, as he sits +down always in the stern-sheets, which is not fatiguing. Creeping for +tubs is his delight, as he gets over so little ground. He is fond of +grog, but there is some trouble in carrying the tumbler so often to his +mouth; so he looks at it, and lets it stand. He says little, because he +is too lazy to speak. He has served more than _eight years;_ but as for +passing--it has never come into his head. Such are the three persons who +are now sitting in the cabin of the revenue-cutter, drinking hot +gin-toddy. + +"Let me see, it was, I think, in ninety-three or ninety-four. Before you +were in the service, Tomkins.--" + +"Maybe, sir; it's so long ago since I entered, that I can't recollect +dates,--but this I know, that my aunt died three days before." + +"Then the question is, when did your aunt die?" + +"Oh! she died about a year after my uncle." + +"And when did your uncle die?" + +"I'll be hanged if I know!" + +"Then, d'ye see, you've no departure to work from. However, I think you +cannot have been in the service at that time. We were not quite so +particular about uniform as we are now." + +"Then I think the service was all the better for it. Now-a-days, in your +crack ships, a mate has to go down in the hold or spirit-room, and after +whipping up fifty empty casks, and breaking out twenty full ones, he is +expected to come on quarter-deck as clean as if he was just come out of +a band-box." + +"Well, there's plenty of water alongside, as far as the outward man +goes, and iron dust is soon brushed off. However, as you say, perhaps a +little too much is expected; at least, in five of the ships in which I +was first-lieutenant, the captain was always hauling me over the coals +about the midshipmen not dressing properly, as if I was their dry-nurse. +I wonder what Captain Prigg would have said, if he had seen such a +turn-out as you, Mr Smith, on his quarter-deck." + +"I should have had one turn-out more," drawled Smith. + +"With your out-at-elbows jacket, there, heh!" continued Mr Appleboy. + +Smith turned up his elbows, looked at one and then at the other: after +so fatiguing an operation, he was silent. + +"Well, where was I? Oh! it was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I +said, that it happened--Tomkins, fill your glass, and hand me the sugar +--how do I get on? This is No. 15," said Appleboy, counting some white +lines on the table by him; and taking up a piece of chalk, he marked one +more line on his tally. "I don't think this is so good a tub as the +last, Tomkins, there's a twang about it--a want of juniper--however, I +hope we shall have better luck this time. Of course, you know we sail +to-morrow?" + +"I presume so, by the leg of mutton coming on board." + +"True--true--I'm regular--as clock-work.--After being twenty years a +first-lieutenant, one gets a little method--I like regularity. Now the +admiral has never omitted asking me to dinner once, every time I have +come into harbour, except this time--I was so certain of it, that I +never expected to sail; and I have but two shirts clean in consequence." + +"That's odd, isn't it? and the more so, because he has had such great +people down here, and has been giving large parties every day." + +"And yet I made three seizures, besides sweeping up those thirty-seven +tubs." + +"I swept them up," observed Smith. + +"That's all the same thing, _younker_.--When you've been a little longer +in the service, you'll find out that the commanding officer has the +merit of all that is done--but you're _green_ yet. Let me see, where was +I? Oh!--It was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I said. At that +time I was in the Channel fleet--Tomkins, I'll trouble you for the hot +water; this water's cold.--Mr Smith, do me the favour to ring the bell. +--Jem, some more hot water." + +"Please, sir," said Jem, who was barefooted as well as bare-headed, +touching the lock of hair on his forehead, "the cook has capsized the +kettle--but he has put more on." + +"Capsized the kettle! Ha!--very well--we'll talk about that to-morrow. +Mr Tomkins, do me the favour to put him in the report, I may forget it. +And pray, sir, how long is it since he has put more on?" + +"Just this moment, sir, as I came aft." + +"Very well, we'll see to that to-morrow:--You bring the kettle aft as +soon as it is ready. I say, Mr Jem, is that fellow sober?" + +"Yees, sir, he be sober as you be." + +"It's quite astonishing what a propensity the common sailors have to +liquor. Forty odd years have I been in the service, and I've never found +any difference: I only wish I had a guinea for every time that I have +given a fellow seven-water grog during my servitude as first-lieutenant, +I wouldn't call the king my cousin. Well, if there's no hot water, we +must take lukewarm--it won't do to heave to. By the Lord Harry! who +would have thought it?--I'm at number sixteen! Let me count--yes!-- +surely I must have made a mistake. A fact, by Heaven!" continued Mr +Appleboy, throwing the chalk down on the table. "Only one more glass, +after this--that is, if I have counted right--I may have seen double." + +"Yes," drawled Smith. + +"Well, never mind--let's go on with my story.--It was either in the year +ninety-three or ninety-four, that I was in the Channel fleet--we were +then abreast of Torbay--" + +"Here be the hot water, sir," cried Jem, putting the kettle down on the +deck. + +"Very well, boy--by-the-bye, has the jar of butter come on board?" + +"Yes, but it broke all down the middle; I tied him up with a ropeyarn." + +"Who broke it, sir?" + +"Coxswain says as how he didn't." + +"But who did, sir?" + +"Coxswain handed it up to Bill Jones, and he says as how he didn't." + +"But who did, sir?" + +"Bill Jones gave it to me, and I'm sure as how I didn't." + +"Then who did, sir, I ask you?" + +"I think it be Bill Jones, sir, 'cause he's fond of butter, I know, and +there be very little left in the jar." + +"Very _well_, we'll see to that to-morrow morning. Mr Tomkins, you'll +oblige me by putting the butter-jar down in the report, in case it +should slip my memory. Bill Jones, indeed, looks as if butter wouldn't +melt in his mouth--never mind. Well, it was, as I said before--it was in +the year ninety-three or ninety-four, when I was in the Channel fleet; +we were then off Torbay, and had just: taken two reefs in the top-sails. +Stop, before I go on with my story, I'll take my last glass--I think +it's the last: let me count--yes, by heavens I make out sixteen, well +told. Never mind, it shall be a stiff one. Boy, bring the kettle, and +mind you don't pour the hot water into my shoes, as you did the other +night. There, that will do. Now, Tomkins, fill up yours; and you, Mr +Smith: let us all start fair, and then you shall have my story--and a +very curious one it is, I can tell you; I wouldn't have believed it +myself if I hadn't seen it. Hilloa! what's this? confound it! what's the +matter with the toddy? Heh, Mr Tomkins?" + +Mr Tomkins tasted, but, like the lieutenant, he had made it very stiff; +and, as he had also taken largely before, he was, like him, not quite so +clear in his discrimination: "It has a queer _twang_, sir: Smith, what +is it?" + +Smith took up his glass, tasted the contents. + +"_Salt water"_ drawled the midshipman. + +"Salt water! so it is, by heavens!" cried Mr Appleboy. + +"Salt as Lot's wife!--by all that's infamous!" cried the master's mate. + +"Salt water, sir!" cried Jem in a fright, expecting a _salt_ eel for +supper. + +"Yes, sir," replied Mr Appleboy, tossing the contents of the tumbler in +the boy's face, "salt water. Very well, sir,--very well!" + +"It warn't me, sir," replied the boy, making up a piteous look. + +"No, sir, but you said the cook was sober." + +"He was not so _very_ much disguised, sir," replied Jem. + +"Oh! very well--never mind. Mr Tomkins, in case I should forget it, do +me the favour to put the kettle of salt water down in the report. The +scoundrel! I'm very sorry, gentlemen, but there's no means of having any +more gin-toddy,--but never mind, we'll see to this to-morrow. Two can +play at this; and if I don't salt-water their grog, and make them drink +it, too, I have been twenty years a first-lieutenant for nothing--that's +all. Good night, gentlemen; and," continued the lieutenant, in a severe +tone, "you'll keep a sharp look-out, Mr Smith--do you hear, sir?" + +"Yes," drawled Smith, "but it's not my watch; it was my first watch, +and, just now, it struck one bell." + +"You'll keep the middle watch, then, Mr Smith," said Mr Appleboy, who +was not a little put out; "and, Mr Tomkins, let me know as soon as it's +daylight. Boy, get my bed made. Salt water, by all that's blue! However, +we'll see to that to-morrow morning." + +Mr Appleboy then turned in; so did Mr Tomkins; and so did Mr Smith, who +had no idea of keeping the middle watch because the cook was drunk and +had filled up the kettle with salt water. As for what happened in +ninety-three or ninety-four, I really would inform the reader if I knew, +but I am afraid that that most curious story is never to be handed down +to posterity. + +The next morning, Mr Tomkins, as usual, forgot to report the cook, the +jar of butter, and the kettle of salt water; and Mr Appleboy's wrath had +long been appeased before he remembered them. At daylight the lieutenant +came on deck, having only slept away half of the sixteen, and a taste of +the seventeenth salt-water glass of gin-toddy. He rubbed his grey eyes, +that he might peer through the grey of the morning; the fresh breeze +blew about his grizzly locks, and cooled his rubicund nose. The +revenue-cutter, whose name was the _Active_, cast off from the buoy; +and, with a fresh breeze, steered her course for the Needles' passage. + + + + +Chapter III + +CUTTER THE THIRD + + +Reader! have you been to St Maloes? If you have, you were glad enough to +leave the hole; and, if you have not, take my advice, and do not give +yourself the trouble to go and see that, or any other French port in the +Channel. There is not one worth looking at. They have made one or two +artificial ports, and they are no great things; there is no getting out, +or getting in. In fact, they have no harbours in the Channel, while we +have the finest in the world; a peculiar dispensation of Providence, +because it knew that we should want them, and France would not. In +France, what are called ports are all alike, nasty narrow holes, only to +be entered at certain times of tide and certain winds; made up of basins +and back-waters, custom-houses, and cabarets; just fit for smugglers to +run into, and nothing more; and, therefore, they are used for very +little else. + +Now, in the dog-hole called St Maloes there is some pretty land, +although a great deficiency of marine scenery. But never mind that: stay +at home, and don't go abroad to drink sour wine, because they call it +Bordeaux, and eat villanous trash, so disguised by cooking that you +cannot possibly tell which of the birds of the air, or beasts of the +field, or fishes of the sea, you are cramming down your throat. "If all +is right, there is no occasion for disguise," is an old saying; so +depend upon it, that there is something wrong, and that you are eating +offal, under a grand French name. They eat everything in France, and +would serve you up the head of a monkey who has died of the smallpox, as +_singe au petite vérole_--that is, if you did not understand French; if +you did, they would call it, _Tête d'amour a l'Ethiopique,_ and then you +would be even more puzzled. As for their wine, there is no disguise in +that--it's half vinegar. No, no! stay at home; you can live just as +cheaply, if you choose; and then you will have good meat, good +vegetables, good ale, good beer, and a good glass of grog--and what is +of more importance, you will be in good company. Live with your friends, +and don't make a fool of yourself. + +I would not have condescended to have noticed this place, had it not +been that I wish you to observe a vessel which is lying along the +pier-wharf, with a plank from the shore to her gunnel. It is low water, +and she is aground, and the plank dips down at such an angle that it is +a work of danger to go either in or out of her. You observe that there +is nothing very remarkable in her. She is a cutter, and a good sea-boat, +and sails well before the wind. She is short for her breadth of beam, +and is not armed. Smugglers do not arm now--the service is too +dangerous; they effect their purpose by cunning, not by force. +Nevertheless, it requires that smugglers should be good seamen, smart, +active fellows, and keen-witted, or they can do nothing. This vessel has +not a large cargo in her, but it is valuable. She has some thousand +yards of lace, a few hundred pounds of tea, a few bales of silk, and +about forty ankers of brandy--just as much as they can land in one boat. +All they ask is a heavy gale or a thick fog, and they trust to +themselves for success. + +There is nobody on board except a boy; the crew are all up at the +cabaret, settling their little accounts of every description--for they +smuggle both ways, and every man has his own private venture. There they +are all, fifteen of them, and fine-looking fellows, too, sitting at that +long table. They are very merry, but quite sober, as they are to sail +to-night. + +The captain of the vessel (whose name, by-the-bye is the +"_Happy-go-lucky_,"--the captain christened her himself) is that +fine-looking young man, with dark whiskers, meeting under his throat. +His name is Jack Pickersgill. You perceive, at once, that he is much +above a common sailor in appearance. His manners are good, he is +remarkably handsome, very clean, and rather a dandy in his dress. +Observe, how very politely he takes off his hat to that Frenchman, with +whom he has just settled accounts; he beats Johnny Crapeau at his own +weapons. And then there is an air of command, a feeling of conscious +superiority about Jack; see how he treats the landlord, _de haut en +bas_, at the same time that he is very civil. The fact is, that Jack is +of a very good, old family, and received a very excellent education; but +he was an orphan, his friends were poor, and could do but little for +him: he went out to India as a cadet, ran away, and served in a schooner +which smuggled opium into China, and then came home. He took a liking to +the employment, and is now laying up a very pretty little sum: not that +he intends to stop: no, as soon as he has enough to fit out a vessel for +himself, he intends to start again for India, and with two cargoes of +opium, he will return, he trusts, with a handsome fortune, and re-assume +his family name. Such are Jack's intentions; and, as he eventually means +to reappear as a gentleman, he preserves his gentlemanly habits: he +neither drinks, nor chews, nor smokes. He keeps his hands clean, wears +rings, and sports a gold snuff-box; notwithstanding which, Jack is one +of the boldest and best of sailors, and the men know it. He is full of +fun, and as keen as a razor. Jack has a very heavy venture this time-- +all the lace is his own speculation, and if he gets it in safe, he will +clear some thousands of pounds. A certain fashionable shop in London has +already agreed to take the whole off his hands. + +That short, neatly-made young man is the second in command, and the +companion of the captain. He is clever, and always has a remedy to +propose when there is a difficulty, which is a great quality in a second +in command. His name is Corbett. He is always merry--half-sailor, +half-tradesman; knows the markets, runs up to London, and does business +as well as a chapman--lives for the day, and laughs at to-morrow. + +That little punchy old man, with long gray hair and fat face, with a +nose like a note of interrogation, is the next personage of importance. +He ought to be called the sailing-master, for, although he goes on shore +in France, off the English coast he never quits the vessel. When they +leave her with the goods, he remains on board; he is always to be found +off any part of the coast where he may be ordered; holding his position +in defiance of gales, and tides, and fogs: as for the revenue-vessels, +they all know him well enough, but they cannot touch a vessel in +ballast, if she has no more men on board than allowed by her tonnage. He +knows every creek, and hole, and corner, of the coast; how the tide runs +in--tide, half-tide, eddy, or current. That is his value. His name is +Morrison. + +You observe that Jack Pickersgill has two excellent supporters in +Corbett and Morrison; his other men are good seamen, active, and +obedient, which is all that he requires. I shall not particularly +introduce them. + +"Now you may call for another _litre_, my lads, and that must be the +last; the tide is flowing fast, and we shall be afloat in half an hour, +and we have just the breeze we want. What d'ye think, Morrison, shall we +have dirt?" + +"I've been looking just now, and if it were any other month in the year +I should say, yes; but there's no trusting April, captain. Howsomever, +if it does blow off, I'll promise you a fog in three hours afterwards." + +"That will do as well. Corbett, have you settled with Duval?" + +"Yes, after more noise and _charivari_ than a panic in the Stock +Exchange would make in England. He fought and squabbled for an hour, and +I found that, without some abatement, I never should have settled the +affair." + +"What did you let him off?" + +"Seventeen sous," replied Corbett, laughing. + +"And that satisfied him?" inquired Pickersgill. + +"Yes--it was all he could prove to be a _surfaire_: two of the knives +were a little rusty. But he will always have something off; he could not +be happy without it. I really think he would commit suicide, if he had +to pay a bill without a deduction." + +"Let him live," replied Pickersgill. "Jeannette, a bottle of Volnay, of +1811, and three glasses." + +Jeannette, who was the _fille de cabaret_, soon appeared with a bottle +of wine, seldom called for, except by the captain of the +_Happy-go-lucky_. + +"You sail to-night?" said she, as she placed the bottle before him. + +Pickersgill nodded his head. + +"I had a strange dream," said Jeannette; "I thought you were all taken +by a revenue cutter, and put in a _cachot_. I went to see you, and I did +not know one of you again--you were all changed." + +"Very likely, Jeannette--you would not be the first who did not know +their friends again when in misfortune. There was nothing strange in +your dream." + +"_Mais, mon Dieu! je ne suis pas comme ça moi_." + +"No, that you are not, Jeannette; you are a good girl, and some of these +fine days I'll marry you," said Corbett. + +"_Doit être bien beau ce jour là , par exemple_," replied Jeannette, +laughing; "you have promised to marry me every time you have come in, +these last three years." + +"Well, that proves I keep to my promise, any how." + +"Yes; but you never go any further." + +"I can't spare him, Jeannette, that is the real truth," said the +captain: "but wait a little--in the meantime, here is a five-franc piece +to add to your _petite fortune_." + +"_Merci bien, monsieur le capitaine; bon voyage!_" Jeannette held her +finger up to Corbett, saying, with a smile, "_méchant!_" and then +quitted the room. + +"Come, Morrison, help us to empty this bottle, and then we will all go +on board." + +"I wish that girl wouldn't come here with her nonsensical dreams," said +Morrison, taking his seat; "I don't like it. When she said that we +should be taken by a revenue cutter, I was looking at a blue and a white +pigeon sitting on the wall opposite; and I said to myself, now, if that +be a warning, I will see: if the _blue_ pigeon flies away first, I shall +be in jail in a week; if the _white,_ I shall be back here." + +"Well?" said Pickersgill, laughing. + +"It wasn't well," answered Morrison, tossing off his wine, and putting +the glass down with a deep sigh; "for the cursed _blue_ pigeon flew away +immediately." + +"Why, Morrison, you must have a chicken-heart to be frightened at a blue +pigeon," said Corbett, laughing, and looking out of the window; "at all +events, he has come back again, and there he is sitting by the white +one." + +"It's the first time that ever I was called chicken-hearted," replied +Morrison, in wrath. + +"Nor do you deserve it, Morrison," replied Pickersgill; "but Corbett is +only joking." + +"Well, at all events, I'll try my luck in the same way, and see whether +I am to be in jail: I shall take the blue pigeon as my bad omen, as you +did." + +The sailors and Captain Pickersgill all rose and went to the window, to +ascertain Corbett's fortune by this new species of augury. The blue +pigeon flapped his wings, and then he sidled up to the white one; at +last, the white pigeon flew off the wall and settled on the roof of the +adjacent house. "Bravo, white pigeon!" said Corbett; "I shall be here +again in a week." The whole party, laughing, then resumed their seats; +and Morrison's countenance brightened up. As he took the glass of wine +poured out by Pickersgill, he said, "Here's your health, Corbett; it was +all nonsense, after all--for, d'ye see, I can't be put in jail without +you are. We all sail in the same boat, and when you leave me, you take +with you everything that can condemn the vessel--so here's success to +our trip." + +"We will all drink that toast, my lads, and then on board," said the +captain; "here's success to our trip." + +The captain rose, as did the mates and men, drank the toast, turned down +the drinking-vessels on the table, hastened to the wharf, and, in half +an hour, the _Happy-go-lucky_ was clear of the port of St Maloes. + + + + +Chapter IV + +PORTLAND BILL + + +The _Happy-go-lucky_ sailed with a fresh breeze and a flowing sheet from +St Maloes, the evening before the _Arrow_ sailed from Barn Pool. The +_Active_ sailed from Portsmouth the morning after. + +The yacht, as we before observed, was bound to Cowes, in the Isle of +Wight. The _Active_ had orders to cruise wherever she pleased within the +limits of the admiral's station; and she ran for West Bay, on the other +side of the Bill of Portland. The _Happy-go-lucky_ was also bound for +that bay to land her cargo. + +The wind was light, and there was every appearance of fine weather, when +the _Happy-go-lucky_, at ten o'clock on the Tuesday night, made the +Portland lights; as it was impossible to run her cargo that night, she +hove to. + +At eleven o'clock, the Portland lights were made by the revenue cutter +_Active_. Mr Appleboy went up to have a look at them, ordered the cutter +to be hove to, and then went down to finish his allowance of gin-toddy. +At twelve o'clock, the yacht _Arrow_ made the Portland lights, and +continued her course, hardly stemming the ebb tide. + +Day broke, and the horizon was clear. The first on the look-out were, of +course, the smugglers; they, and those on board the revenue cutter, were +the only two interested parties--the yacht was neuter. + +"There are two cutters in sight, sir," said Corbett, who had the watch; +for Pickersgill, having been up the whole night, had thrown himself down +on the bed with his clothes on. + +"What do they look like?" said Pickersgill, who was up in a moment. + +"One is a yacht, and the other may be; but I rather think, as far as I +can judge in the gray, that it is our old friend off here." + +"What! old Appleboy?" + +"Yes, it looks like him; but the day has scarcely broke yet." + +"Well, he can do nothing in a light wind like this; and before the wind +we can show him our heels; but are you sure the other is a yacht?" said +Pickersgill, coming on deck. + +"Yes; the king is more careful of his canvas." + +"You're right," said Pickersgill, "that is a yacht; and you're right +there again in your guess--that is the stupid old _Active_, which creeps +about creeping for tubs. Well, I see nothing to alarm us at present, +provided it don't fall a dead calm, and then we must take to our boat as +soon as he takes to his; we are four miles from him at least. Watch his +motions, Corbett, and see if he lowers a boat. What does she go now? +Four knots?--that will soon tire their men." + +The positions of the three cutters were as follows:-- + +The _Happy-go-lucky_ was about four miles off Portland Head, and well +into West Bay. The revenue cutter was close to the Head. The yacht was +outside of the smuggler, about two miles to the westward, and about five +or six miles from the revenue cutter. + +"Two vessels in sight, sir," said Mr Smith, coming down into the cabin +to Mr Appleboy. + +"Very well," replied the lieutenant, who was _lying_ down in his +_standing_ bed-place. + +"The people say one is the _Happy-go-lucky,_ sir," drawled Smith. + +"Heh? what! _Happy-go-lucky?_ Yes, I recollect; I've boarded her twenty +times--always empty. How's she standing?" + +"She stands to the westward now, sir; but she was hove to, they say, +when they first saw her." + +"Then she has a cargo in her;" and Mr Appleboy shaved himself, dressed, +and went on deck. + +"Yes," said the lieutenant, rubbing his eyes again and again, and then +looking through the glass, "it is her sure enough. Let draw the fore +sheet--hands make sail. What vessel's the other?" + +"Don't know, sir,--she's a cutter." + +"A cutter? yes; may be a yacht, or may be the new cutter ordered on the +station. Make all sail, Mr Tomkins; hoist our pendant, and fire a gun-- +they will understand what we mean then; they don't know the +_Happy-go-lucky_ as well as we do." + +In a few minutes the _Active_ was under a press of sail; she hoisted her +pendant, and fired a gun. The smuggler perceived that the _Active_ had +recognised her, and she also threw out more canvas, and ran off more to +the westward. + +"There's a gun, sir," reported one of the men to Mr Stewart, on board of +the yacht. + +"Yes; give me the glass--a revenue cutter; then this vessel in shore, +running towards us, must be a smuggler." + +"She has just now made all sail, sir." + +"Yes, there's no doubt of it; I will go down to his lordship--keep her +as she goes." + +Mr Stewart then went down to inform Lord B. of the circumstance. Not +only Lord B., but most of the gentlemen came on deck; as did soon +afterwards the ladies, who had received the intelligence from Lord B., +who spoke to them through the door of the cabin. + +But the smuggler had more wind than the revenue cutter, and increased +her distance. + +"If we were to wear round now, my lord," observed Mr Stewart, "she is +just abreast of us and in shore, we could prevent her escape." + +"Round with her, Mr Stewart," said Lord B.; "we must do our duty, and +protect the laws." + +"That will not be fair, papa," said Cecilia Ossulton; "we have no +quarrel with the smugglers: I'm sure the ladies have not, for they bring +us beautiful things." + +"Miss Ossulton," observed her aunt, "it is not proper for you to offer +an opinion." + +The yacht wore round, and, sailing so fast, the smuggler had little +chance of escaping her; but to chase is one thing--to capture, another. + +"Let us give her a gun," said Lord B., "that will frighten her; and he +dare not cross our hawse." + +The gun was loaded, and not being more than a mile from the smuggler, +actually threw the ball almost a quarter of the way. + +The gentlemen, as well as Lord B., were equally excited by the ardour of +pursuit; but the wind died away, and at last it was nearly calm. The +revenue cutter's boats were out, and coming up fast. + +"Let us get our boat out, Stewart," said his lordship; "and help them; +it is quite calm now." + +The boat was soon out: it was a very large one, usually stowed on, and +occupied a large portion of, the deck. It pulled six oars; and when it +was manned, Mr Stewart jumped in, and Lord B. followed him. + +"But you have no arms," said Mr Hautaine. + +"The smugglers never resist now," observed Stewart. + +"Then you are going on a very gallant expedition, indeed," observed +Cecilia Ossulton; "I wish you joy." + +But Lord B. was too much excited to pay attention. They shoved off, and +pulled towards the smuggler. + +At this time, the revenue boats were about five miles astern of the +_Happy-go-lucky_, and the yacht about three-quarters of a mile from her +in the offing. Pickersgill had, of course, observed the motions of the +yacht; had seen her wear on chase, hoist her ensign and pendant, and +fire her gun. + +"Well," said he, "this is the blackest ingratitude; to be attacked by +the very people whom we smuggle for. I only wish she may come up with +us; and, let her attempt to interfere, she shall rue the day: I don't +much like this, though." + +As we before observed, it fell nearly calm, and the revenue boats were +in chase. Pickersgill watched them as they came up. + +"What shall we do," said Corbett,--"get the boat out?" + +"Yes," replied Pickersgill, "we will get the boat out, and have the +goods in her all ready; but we can pull faster than they do, in the +first place; and, in the next, they will be pretty well tired before +they come up to us. We are fresh, and shall soon walk away from them; so +I shall not leave the vessel till they are within half a mile. We must +sink the ankers, that they may not seize the vessel, for it is not worth +while taking them with us. Pass them along ready to run them over the +bows, that they may not see us and swear to it. But we have a good half +hour, and more." + +"Ay, and you may hold all fast if you choose," said Morrison, "although +it's better to be on the right side and get ready; otherwise, before +half an hour, I'll swear that we are out of their sight. Look there," +said he, pointing to the eastward at a heavy bank, "it's coming right +down upon us, as I said it would." + +"True enough; but still there is no saying which will come first, +Morrison; the boats or the fog, so we must be prepared." + +"Hilloa! what's this? why, there's a boat coming from the yacht!" + +Pickersgill took out his glass. + +"Yes, and the yacht's own boat, with the name painted on her bows. Well, +let them come--we will have no ceremony in resisting them; they are not +in the Act of Parliament, and must take the consequences. We have nought +to fear. Get stretchers, my lads, and hand-spikes; they row six oars, +and are three in the stern sheets--they must be good men if they take +us." + +In a few minutes Lord B. was close to the smuggler. + +"Boat, ahoy! what do you want?" + +"Surrender in the king's name." + +"To what, and to whom, and what are we to surrender? We are an English +vessel coasting along shore." + +"Pull on board, my lads," cried Stewart; "I am a king's officer--we know +her." + +The boat darted alongside, and Stewart and Lord B., followed by the men, +jumped on the deck. + +"Well, gentlemen, what do you want?" said Pickersgill. + +"We seize you--you are a smuggler; there's no denying it: look at the +casks of spirits stretched along the deck." + +"We never said that we were not smugglers," replied Pickersgill; "but +what is that to you? You are not a king's ship, or employed by the +revenue." + +"No, but we carry a pendant, and it is our duty to protect the laws." + +"And who are you?" said Pickersgill. + +"I am Lord B." + +"Then, my lord, allow me to say that you would do much better to attend +to the framing of laws, and leave people of less consequence, like those +astern of me, to execute them. 'Mind your own business,' is an old +adage. We shall not hurt you, my lord, as you have only employed words, +but we shall put it out of your power to hurt us. Come aft, my lads. +Now, my lord, resistance is useless; we are double your numbers, and you +have caught a Tartar." + +Lord B. and Mr Stewart perceived that they were in an awkward +predicament. + +"You may do what you please," observed Mr Stewart, "but the revenue +boats are coming up, recollect." + +"Look you, sir, do you see the revenue cutter?" said Pickersgill. + +Stewart looked in that direction, and saw that she was hidden in the +fog. + +"In five minutes, sir, the boats will be out of sight also, and so will +your vessel; we have nothing to fear from them." + +"Indeed, my lord, we had better return," said Mr Stewart, who perceived +that Pickersgill was right. + +"I beg your pardon, you will not go on board your yacht so soon as you +expect. Take the oars out of the boat, my lads, two or three of you, and +throw in a couple of our paddles for them to reach the shore with. The +rest of you knock down the first man who offers to resist. You are not +aware, perhaps, my lord, that you have attempted _piracy_ on the high +seas?" + +Stewart looked at Lord B. It was true enough. The men of the yacht could +offer no resistance; the oars were taken out of the boat, and the men +put in again. + +"My lord," said Pickersgill, "your boat is manned--do me the favour to +step into it; and you, sir, do the same. I should be sorry to lay my +hands upon a peer of the realm, or a king's officer even on half pay." + +Remonstrance was vain; his lordship was led to the boat by two of the +smugglers, and Stewart followed. + +"I will leave your oars, my lord, at the Weymouth Custom-house; and I +trust this will be a lesson to you in future to 'mind your own +business.'" + +The boat was shoved off from the sloop by the smugglers, and was soon +lost sight of in the fog, which had now covered the revenue boats as +well as the yacht; at the same time, it brought down a breeze from the +eastward. + +"Haul to the wind, Morrison," said Pickersgill, "we will stand out to +get rid of the boats; if they pull on, they will take it for granted +that we shall run into the bay, as will the revenue cutter." + +Pickersgill and Corbett were in conversation abaft for a short time, +when the former desired the course to be altered two points. + +"Keep silence all of you, my lads, and let me know if you hear a gun or +a bell from the yacht," said Pickersgill. + +"There is a gun, sir, close to us," said one of the men; "the sound was +right ahead." + +"That will do, keep her as she goes. Aft here, my lads; we cannot run +our cargo in the bay, for the cutter has been seen to chase us, and they +will all be on the look-out at the preventive stations for us on shore. +Now, my lads, I have made up my mind that, as these yacht gentlemen have +thought proper to interfere, I will take possession of the yacht for a +few days. We shall then out-sail everything, go where we like +unsuspected, and land our cargo with ease. I shall run alongside of her +--she can have but few hands on board; and mind, do not hurt anybody, +but be civil and obey my orders. Morrison, you and your four men and the +boy will remain on board as before, and take the vessel to Cherbourg, +where we will join you." + +In a short time another gun was fired from the yacht. + +Those on board, particularly the ladies, were alarmed; the fog was very +thick, and they could not distinguish the length of the vessel. They had +seen the boat board, but had not seen her turned adrift without oars, as +the fog came on just at that time. The yacht was left with only three +seamen on board, and, should it come on bad weather, they were in an +awkward predicament. Mr Hautaine had taken the command, and ordered the +guns to be fired that the boat might be enabled to find them. The fourth +gun was loading, when they perceived the smuggler's cutter close to them +looming through the fog. + +"Here they are," cried the seamen; "and they have brought the prize +along with them! Three cheers for the _Arrow_!" + +"Hilloa! you'll be on board of us?" cried Hautaine. + +"That's exactly what I intended to be, sir," replied Pickersgill, +jumping on the quarter-deck, followed by his men. + +"Who the devil are you?" + +"That's exactly the same question that I asked Lord B. when he boarded +us," replied Pickersgill, taking off his hat to the ladies. + +"Well, but what business have you here?" + +"Exactly the same question which I put to Lord B.," replied Pickersgill. + +"Where is Lord B., sir?" said Cecilia Ossulton, going up to the +smuggler; "is he safe?" + +"Yes, madam, he is safe; at least he is in his boat with all his men, +and unhurt: but you must excuse me if I request you and the other ladies +to go down below while I speak to these gentlemen. Be under no alarm, +miss; you will receive neither insult nor ill-treatment--I have only +taken possession of this vessel for the present." + +"Take possession," cried Hautaine, "of a yacht." + +"Yes, sir, since the owner of the yacht thought proper to attempt to +take possession of me. I always thought that yachts were +pleasure-vessels, sailing about for amusement, respected themselves, and +not interfering with others; but it appears that such is not the case. +The owner of this yacht has thought proper to break through the +neutrality, and commence aggression, and under such circumstances I have +now, in retaliation, taken possession of her." + +"And, pray, what do you mean to do, sir?" + +"Simply for a few days to make an exchange. I shall send you on board of +my vessel as smugglers, while I remain here with the ladies and amuse +myself with yachting." + +"Why, sir, you cannot mean--" + +"I have said, gentlemen, and that is enough; I should be sorry to resort +to violence, but I must be obeyed. You have, I perceive, three seamen +only left: they are not sufficient to take charge of the vessel, and +Lord B. and the others you will not meet for several days. My regard for +the ladies, even common humanity, points out to me that I cannot leave +the vessel in this crippled condition. At the same time, as I must have +hands on board of my own, you will oblige me by going on board and +taking her safely into port. It is the least return you can make for my +kindness. In those dresses, gentlemen, you will not be able to do your +duty; oblige me by shifting, and putting on these." Corbett handed a +flannel shirt, a rough jacket and trousers, to Messrs Hautaine, +Ossulton, Vaughan, and Seagrove. After some useless resistance they were +stripped, and having put on the smugglers' attire, they were handed on +board of the _Happy-go-lucky_. + +The three English seamen were also sent on board and confined below, as +well as Ossulton's servant, who was also equipped like his master, and +confined below with the seamen. Corbett and the men then handed up all +the smuggled goods into the yacht, dropped the boat, and made it fast +astern; and, Morrison having received his directions, the vessels +separated--Morrison running for Cherbourg, and Pickersgill steering the +yacht along shore to the westward. About an hour after this exchange had +been effected, the fog cleared up, and showed the revenue cutter hove to +for her boats, which had pulled back and were close on board of her; and +the _Happy-go-lucky_, about three miles in the offing. Lord B. and his +boat's crew were about four miles in shore, paddling and drifting with +the tide towards Portland. As soon as the boats were on board, the +revenue cutter made all sail after the smuggler, paying no attention to +the yacht, and either not seeing or not caring about the boat which was +drifting about in West Bay. + + + + +Chapter V + +THE TRAVESTIE + + +"Here we are, Corbett, and now I only wish my venture had been double," +observed Pickersgill; "but I shall not allow business to absorb me +wholly--we must add a little amusement. It appears to me, Corbett, that +the gentleman's clothes which lie there will fit you, and those of the +good-looking fellow who was spokesman will, I am sure, suit me well. +Now, let us dress ourselves, and then for breakfast." + +Pickersgill then exchanged his clothes for those of Mr Hautaine, and +Corbett fitted on those of Mr Ossulton. The steward was summoned up, and +he dared not disobey; he appeared on deck, trembling. + +"Steward--you will take these clothes below," said Pickersgill, "and, +observe, I now command this yacht; and, during the time that I am on +board, you will pay me the same respect as you did Lord B.: nay, more, +you will always address me as Lord B. You will prepare dinner and +breakfast, and do your duty just as if his lordship was on board, and +take care that you feed us well, for I will not allow the ladies to be +entertained in a less sumptuous manner than before.--You will tell the +cook what I say,--and now that you have heard me, take care that you +obey; if not, recollect that I have my own men here, and if I but point +with my finger, _overboard you go_.--Do you perfectly comprehend me?" + +"Yes,--sir," stammered the steward. + +"Yes, _sir_!--What did I tell you, sirrah?--Yes, my lord.--Do you +understand me?" + +"Yes--my lord." + +"Pray, steward, whose clothes has this gentleman put on?" + +"Mr--Mr Ossulton's, I think--sir--my lord, I mean." + +"Very well, steward; then recollect, in future you always address that +gentleman as _Mr Ossulton_." + +"Yes, my lord," and the steward went down below, and was obliged to take +a couple of glasses of brandy, to keep himself from fainting. + +"Who are they, and what are they! Mr Maddox?" cried the lady's-maid, who +had been weeping. + +"Pirates!--_bloody, murderous, stick-at-nothing_ pirates!" replied the +steward. + +"Oh!" screamed the lady's-maid, "what will become of us, poor +unprotected females?" And she hastened into the cabin, to impart this +dreadful intelligence. + +The ladies in the cabin were not in a very enviable situation. As for +the elder Miss Ossulton (but, perhaps, it will be better in future to +distinguish the two ladies, by calling the elder simply Miss Ossulton, +and her niece, Cecilia), she was sitting with her salts to her nose, +agonised with a mixture of trepidation and wounded pride. Mrs Lascelles +was weeping, but weeping gently. Cecilia was sad, and her heart was +beating with anxiety and suspense--when the maid rushed in. + +"O madam! O miss! O Mrs Lascelles! I have found it all out!--they are +murderous, bloody, do-everything pirates!!!" + +"Mercy on us!" exclaimed Miss Ossulton; "surely they will never dare--?" + +"Oh, ma'am, they dare anything!--they just now were throwing the steward +overboard--and they have rummaged all the portmanteaus, and dressed +themselves in the gentlemen's best clothes--the captain of them told the +steward that he was Lord B.--and that if he dared to call him anything +else, he would cut his throat from ear to ear--and if the cook don't +give them a good dinner, they swear that they'll chop his right hand +off, and make him eat it, without pepper or salt!" + +Miss Ossulton screamed, and went off into hysterics. Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia went to her assistance; but the latter had not forgotten the +very different behaviour of Jack Pickersgill, and his polite manners, +when he boarded the vessel. She did not, therefore, believe what the +maid had reported, but still her anxiety and suspense were great, +especially about her father. After having restored her aunt, she put on +her bonnet, which was lying on the sofa. + +"Where are you going, dear?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"On deck," replied Cecilia. "I must and will speak to these men." + +"Gracious heaven, Miss Ossulton going on deck! have you heard what +Phoebe says?" + +"Yes, aunt, I have; but I can wait here no longer." + +"Stop her! stop her!--she will be murdered!--she will be--she is mad!" +screamed Miss Ossulton; but no one attempted to stop Cecilia, and on +deck she went. On her arrival, she found Jack Pickersgill and Corbett +walking the deck; one of the smugglers at the helm, and the rest +forward, and as quiet as the crew of the yacht. As soon as she made her +appearance, Jack took off his hat, and made her a bow. + +"I do not know whom I have the honour of addressing, young lady! but I +am flattered with this mark of confidence. You feel, and I assure you, +you feel correctly, that you are not exactly in lawless hands." + +Cecilia looked with more surprise than fear at Pickersgill; Mr +Hautaine's dress became him, he was a handsome, fine-looking man, and +had nothing of the ruffian in his appearance; unless, like Byron's +Corsair, he was _half savage, half soft_. She could not help thinking +that she had met many with less pretensions, as far as appearance went, +to the claims of a gentleman, at Almack's, and other fashionable +circles. + +"I have ventured on deck, sir," said Cecilia, with a little +tremulousness in her voice, "to request, as a favour, that you will +inform me what your intentions may be, with regard to the vessel, and +with regard to the ladies!" + +"And I feel much obliged to you, for so doing, and I assure you, I will, +as far as I have made up my own mind, answer you candidly: but you +tremble--allow me to conduct you to a seat. In few words, then, to +remove your present alarm, I intend that the vessel shall be returned to +its owner, with every article in it, as religiously respected as if they +were church property. With respect to you, and the other ladies on +board, I pledge you my honour, that you have nothing to fear; that you +shall be treated with every respect; your privacy never invaded; and +that, in a few days, you will be restored to your friends. Young lady, I +pledge my hopes of future salvation to the truth of this; but, at the +same time, I must make a few conditions, which, however, will not be +very severe." + +"But, sir," replied Cecilia, much relieved, for Pickersgill had stood by +her in the most respectful manner, "you are, I presume, the captain of +the smuggler? Pray, answer me one question more--What became of the +boat, with Lord B.,--he is my father?" + +"I left him in his boat, without a hair of his head touched, young lady; +but I took away the oars." + +"Then he will perish!" cried Cecilia, putting her handkerchief to her +eyes. + +"No, young lady, he is on shore probably by this time; although I took +away his means of assisting to capture us, I left him the means of +gaining the land. It is not every one who would have done that, after +his conduct to us." + +"I begged him not to go," said Cecilia; "I told him that it was not +fair, and that he had no quarrel with the smugglers." + +"I thank you even for that," replied Pickersgill. "And now, Miss--I have +not the pleasure of recollecting his lordship's family name--" + +"Ossulton, sir," said Cecilia, looking at Pickersgill with surprise. + +"Then, with your permission, Miss Ossulton, I will now make you my +confidant: excuse my using so free a term, but it is because I wish to +relieve your fears; at the same time, I cannot permit you to divulge all +my intentions to the whole party on board; I feel that I may trust you, +for you have courage, and where there is courage, there generally is +truth; but you must first tell me whether you will condescend to accept +these terms?" + +Cecilia demurred a moment--the idea of being the confidant of a smuggler +rather startled her; but still, her knowledge of what his intentions +were, if she might not reveal them, might be important; as, perhaps, she +might dissuade him. She could be in no worse position than she was now, +and she might be in a much better. The conduct of Pickersgill had been +such, up to the present, as to inspire confidence; and, although he +defied the laws, he appeared to regard the courtesies of life. Cecilia +was a courageous girl, and at length she replied:-- + +"Provided what you desire me to keep secret will not be injurious to any +one, or compromise me, in my peculiar situation, I consent." + +"I would not hurt a fly, Miss Ossulton, but in self-defence, and I have +too much respect for you, from your conduct during our short meeting, to +compromise you. Allow me now to be very candid; and then, perhaps, you +will acknowledge that, in my situation, others would do the same; and, +perhaps, not show half so much forbearance. Your father, without any +right whatever, interferes with me, and my calling: he attempts to make +me a prisoner, to have me thrown in jail; heavily fined, and, perhaps, +sent out of the country. I will not enter into any defence of smuggling, +it is sufficient to say, that there are pains and penalties attached to +the infraction of certain laws, and that I choose to risk them--but Lord +B. was not empowered by Government to attack me; it was a gratuitous +act--and had I thrown him, and all his crew into the sea, I should have +been justified, for it was in short, an act of piracy on their part. +Now, as your father has thought to turn a yacht into a revenue cutter, +you cannot be surprised at my retaliating, in turning her into a +smuggler; and as he has mixed up looking after the revenue with +yachting, he cannot be surprised if I retaliate, by mixing up a little +yachting with smuggling. I have dressed your male companions as +smugglers, and have sent them in the smuggling vessel to Cherbourg, +where they will be safely landed; and I have dressed myself, and the +only person whom I could join with me in this frolic, as gentlemen, in +their places. My object is twofold: one is, to land my cargo, which I +have now on board, and which is very valuable; the other is, to +retaliate upon your father and his companions, for their attempt upon +me, by stepping into their shoes, and enjoying, for a day or two, their +luxuries. It is my intention to make free with nothing, but his +lordship's wine and eatables,--that you may be assured of; but I shall +have no pleasure, if the ladies do not sit down to the dinner-table with +us, as they did before with your father and his friends." + +"You can hardly expect that, sir," said Cecilia. + +"Yes, I do; and that will be not only the price of the early release of +the yacht and themselves, but it will also be the only means by which +they will obtain anything to eat. You observe, Miss Ossulton, the sins +of the fathers are visited on the children. I have now told you what I +mean to do, and what I wish. I leave you to think of it, and decide +whether it will not be the best for all parties to consent. You have my +permission to tell the other ladies, that whatever may be their conduct, +they are as secure from ill-treatment or rudeness, as if they were in +Grosvenor Square; but I cannot answer that they will not be hungry, if, +after such forbearance in every point, they show so little gratitude, as +not to honour me with their company." + +"Then I am to understand that we are to be starved into submission?" + +"No, not starved, Miss Ossulton; but recollect that you will be on bread +and water, and detained until you do consent, and your detention will +increase the anxiety of your father." + +"You know how to persuade, sir," said Cecilia. "As far as I am +concerned, I trust I shall ever be ready to sacrifice any feelings of +pride, to spare my father so much uneasiness. With your permission, I +will now go down into the cabin, and relieve my companions from the +worst of their fears. As for obtaining what you wish, I can only say, +that, as a young person, I am not likely to have much influence with +those older than myself, and must inevitably be overruled, as I have not +permission to point out to them reasons which might avail. Would you so +far allow me to be relieved from my promise, as to communicate all you +have said to me, to the only married woman on board? I think I then +might obtain your wishes, which, I must candidly tell you, I shall +attempt to effect, _only_ because I am most anxious to rejoin my +friends." + +"And be relieved of my company," replied Pickersgill, smiling, +ironically,--"of course you are; but I must and will have my petty +revenge: and although you may, and probably will detest me, at all +events you shall not have any very formidable charge to make against me +Before you go below, Miss Ossulton, I give you my permission to add the +married lady to the number of my confidants; and you must permit me to +introduce my friend, Mr Ossulton;" and Pickersgill waved his hand in the +direction of Corbett, who took off his hat, and made a low obeisance. + +It was impossible for Cecilia Ossulton to help smiling. + +"And," continued Pickersgill, "having taking the command of this yacht, +instead of his lordship, it is absolutely necessary that I also take his +lordship's name. While on board I am Lord B.; and allow me to introduce +myself under that name--I cannot be addressed otherwise. Depend upon it, +Miss Ossulton, that I shall have a most paternal solicitude to make you +happy and comfortable." + +Had Cecilia Ossulton dared to have given vent to her real feelings at +that time, she would have burst into a fit of laughter, it was too +ludicrous. At the same time, the very burlesque reassured her still +more. She went into the cabin with a heavy weight removed from her +heart. + +In the meantime, Miss Ossulton and Mrs Lascelles remained below, in the +greatest anxiety at Cecilia's prolonged stay; they knew not what to +think, and dared not go on deck. Mrs Lascelles had once determined at +all risks to go up; but Miss Ossulton and Phoebe had screamed, and +implored her so fervently not to leave them, that she unwillingly +consented to remain. Cecilia's countenance, when she entered the cabin, +reassured Mrs Lascelles, but not her aunt, who ran to her, crying and +sobbing, and clinging to her, saying, "What have they done to you, my +poor, poor Cecilia?" + +"Nothing at all, aunt," replied Cecilia, "the captain speaks very +fairly, and says he shall respect us in every possible way, provided +that we obey his orders, but if not--" + +"If not--what, Cecilia?" said Miss Ossulton, grasping her niece's arm. + +"He will starve us, and not let us go!" + +"God have mercy on us!"--cried Miss Ossulton, renewing her sobs. + +Cecilia then went to Mrs Lascelles, and communicated to her, apart, all +that had passed. Mrs Lascelles agreed with Cecilia, that they were in no +danger of insult; and as they talked over the matter, they at last began +to laugh; there was a novelty in it, and there was something so +ridiculous in all the gentlemen being turned into smugglers. Cecilia was +glad that she could not tell her aunt, as she wished her to be so +frightened, as never to have her company on board of the yacht again; +and Mrs Lascelles was too glad to annoy her for many and various insults +received. The matter was, therefore, canvassed over very satisfactorily, +and Mrs Lascelles felt a natural curiosity to see this new Lord B. and +the second Mr Ossulton. But they had had no breakfast and were feeling +very hungry, now that their alarm was over. They desired Phoebe to ask +the steward for some tea or coffee. The reply was, that, "Breakfast was +laid in the cabin, and Lord B. trusted that the ladies would come to +partake of it." + +"No, no," replied Mrs Lascelles, "I never can, without being introduced +to them first." + +"Nor will I go," replied Cecilia, "but I will write a note, and we will +have our breakfast here." Cecilia wrote a note in pencil as follows:-- + +"Miss Ossulton's compliments to Lord B., and, as the ladies feel rather +indisposed after the alarm of this morning, they trust that his lordship +will excuse their coming to breakfast; but hope to meet his lordship at +dinner, if not before that time, on deck." + +The answer was propitious, and the steward soon appeared with the +breakfast in the ladies' cabin. + +"Well Maddox," said Cecilia, "how do you get on with your new master?" + +The steward looked at the door to see if it was closed, shook his head, +and then said with a look of despair, "He has ordered a haunch of +venison for dinner, miss, and he has twice threatened to toss me +overboard." + +"You must obey him, Maddox, or he certainly will. These pirates are +dreadful fellows; be attentive, and serve him just as if he was my +father." + +"Yes, yes, ma'am, I will, but our time may come; it's _burglary_ on the +high seas, and I'll go fifty miles to see him hanged." + +"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, from the cabin. + +"O lord! he can't have heard me--d'ye-think he did, miss?" + +"The partitions are very thin, and you spoke very loud," said Mrs +Lascelles; "at all events, go to him quickly." + +"Good-bye, miss; good-bye, ma'am; if I shouldn't see you any more," said +Maddox, trembling with fear, as he obeyed the awful summons--which was +to demand a tooth-pick. + +Miss Ossulton would not touch the breakfast; not so Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia, who ate very heartily. + +"It's very dull to be shut up in this cabin," said Mrs Lascelles; "come, +Cecilia, let's go on deck." + +"And leave me," cried Miss Ossulton. + +"There is Phoebe here, aunt; we are going up to persuade the pirates to +put us all on shore." + +Mrs Lascelles and Cecilia put on their bonnets and went up. Lord B. took +off his hat, and begged the honour of being introduced to the pretty +widow. He handed the ladies to a seat, and then commenced conversing +upon various subjects, which, at the same time, possessed great novelty. +His lordship talked about France, and described its ports; told now and +then a good anecdote; pointed out the different headlands, bays, towns, +and villages, which they were passing rapidly, and always had some +little story connected with each. Before the ladies had been two hours +on deck, they found themselves, to their infinite surprise, not only +interested, but in conversation with the captain of the smuggler, and +more than once they laughed outright. But the _soi-disant_ Lord B. had +inspired them with confidence; they fully believed that what he had told +them was true, and that he had taken possession of the yacht to smuggle +his goods, to be revenged, and to have a laugh. Now none of these three +offences are capital in the eyes of the fair sex; and Jack was a +handsome, fine-looking fellow, of excellent manners, and very agreeable +conversation, at the same time, neither he nor his friend were in their +general deportment and behaviour otherwise than most respectful. + +"Ladies, as you are not afraid of me, which is a greater happiness than +I had reason to expect, I think you may be amused to witness the fear of +those who accuse your sex of cowardice. With your permission, I will +send for the cook and steward, and inquire about the dinner." + +"I should like to know what there is for dinner," observed Mrs Lascelles +demurely; "wouldn't you, Cecilia?" + +Cecilia put her handkerchief to her mouth. + +"Tell the steward and the cook both to come aft immediately," cried +Pickersgill. + +In a few seconds they both made their appearance. + +"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, with a loud voice. + +"Yes, my lord," replied Maddox, with his hat in his hand. + +"What wines have you put out for dinner?" + +"Champagne, my lord; and claret, my lord; and Madeira and sherry, my +lord." + +"No Burgundy, sir?" + +"No, my lord; there is no Burgundy on board." + +"No Burgundy, sir! do you dare to tell me that?" + +"Upon my soul, my lord," cried Maddox, dropping on his knees, "there is +no Burgundy on board--ask the ladies." + +"Very well, sir; you may go." + +"Cook, what have you got for dinner?" + +"Sir, a haunch of mutt--of venison, my lord," replied the cook, with his +white night-cap in his hand. + +"What else, sirrah?" + +"A boiled calf's head, my lord." + +"A boiled calf's head! Let it be roasted, or I'll roast you, sir!" cried +Pickersgill in an angry tone. + +"Yes, my lord; I'll roast it." + +"And what else, sir?" + +"Maintenon cutlets, my lord." + +"Maintenon cutlets! I hate them--I won't have them, sir. Let them be +dressed _à l'ombre Chinoise_." + +"I don't know what that is, my lord." + +"I don't care for that, sirrah; if you don't find out by dinner-time, +you're food for fishes--that's all; you may go." + +The cook walked off wringing his hands and his night-cap as well--for he +still held it in his right hand--and disappeared down the fore-hatchway. + +"I have done this to pay you a deserved compliment, ladies; you have +more courage than the other sex." + +"Recollect that we have had confidence given to us in consequence of +your pledging your word, my lord." + +"You do me, then, the honour of believing me?" + +"I did not until I saw you," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but now I am +convinced that you will perform your promise." + +"You do, indeed, encourage me, madam, to pursue what is right," said +Pickersgill, bowing; "for your approbation I should be most sorry to +lose, still more sorry to prove myself unworthy of it." + +As the reader will observe, everything was going on remarkably well. + + + + +Chapter VI + +THE SMUGGLING YACHT + + +Cecilia returned to the cabin, to ascertain whether her aunt was more +composed; but Mrs Lascelles remained on deck. She was much pleased with +Pickersgill; and they continued their conversation. Pickersgill entered +into a defence of his conduct to Lord B.; and Mrs Lascelles could not +but admit the provocation. After a long conversation, she hinted at his +profession, and how superior he appeared to be to such a lawless life. + +"You may be incredulous, madam," replied Pickersgill, "if I tell you +that I have as good a right to quarter my arms as Lord B. himself; and +that I am not under my real name. Smuggling is, at all events, no crime; +and I infinitely prefer the wild life I lead at the head of my men, to +being spurned by society because I am poor. The greatest crime in this +country is poverty. I may, if I am fortunate, some day resume my name. +You may, perhaps, meet me, and, if you please, you may expose me." + +"That I should not be likely to do," replied the widow; "but still I +regret to see a person, evidently intended for better things, employed +in so disreputable a profession." + +"I hardly know, madam, what is and what is not disreputable in this +conventional world. It is not considered disreputable to cringe to the +vices of a court, or to accept a pension wrung from the industry of the +nation, in return for base servility. It is not considered disreputable +to take tithes, intended for the service of God, and lavish them away at +watering-places or elsewhere, seeking pleasure instead of doing God +service. It is not considered disreputable to take fee after fee to +uphold injustice, to plead against innocence, to pervert truth, and to +aid the devil. It is not considered disreputable to gamble on the Stock +Exchange, or to corrupt the honesty of electors by bribes, to doing +which the penalty attached is equal to that decreed to the offence of +which I am guilty. All these, and much more, are not considered +disreputable; yet, by all these are the moral bonds of society loosened, +while in mine we cause no guilt in others--" + +"But still it is a crime." + +"A violation of the revenue laws, and no more. Observe, madam, the +English Government encourage the smuggling of our manufactures to the +Continent, at the same time that they take every step to prevent +articles being smuggled into this country. Now, madam, can that be a +_crime_, when the head of the vessel is turned north, which becomes _no +crime_ when she steers the opposite way?" + +"There is a stigma attached to it, you must allow." + +"That I grant you, madam; and as soon as I can quit the profession I +shall. No captive ever sighed more to be released from his chains; but I +will not leave it, till I find that I am in a situation not to be +spurned and neglected by those with whom I have a right to associate." + +At this moment, the steward was seen forward making signs to Mrs +Lascelles, who excused herself, and went to him. + +"For the love of God, madam," said Maddox, "as he appears to be friendly +with you, do pray find out how these cutlets are to be dressed; the cook +is tearing his hair, and we shall never have any dinner; and then it +will all fall upon me, and I--shall be tossed overboard." + +Mrs Lascelles desired poor Maddox to wait there while she obtained the +desired information. In a few minutes she returned to him. + +"I have found it out. They are first to be boiled in vinegar; then fried +in batter, and served up with a sauce of anchovy and Malaga raisins!" + +"First fried in vinegar; then boiled in batter, and served up with +almonds and raisins!" + +"No--no!" Mrs Lascelles repeated the injunction to the frightened +steward; and then returned aft, and re-entered into a conversation with +Pickersgill, in which for the first time, Corbett now joined. Corbett +had sense enough to feel, that the less he came forward until his +superior had established himself in the good graces of the ladies, the +more favourable would be the result. + +In the mean time Cecilia had gone down to her aunt, who still continued +to wail and lament. The young lady tried all she could to console her, +and to persuade her that if they were civil and obedient they had +nothing to fear. + +"Civil and obedient, indeed!" cried Miss Ossulton, "to a fellow who is a +smuggler and a pirate! I, the sister of Lord B.! Never! The presumption +of the wretch!" + +"That is all very well, aunt; but recollect, we must submit to +circumstances. These men insist upon our dining with them; and we must +go, or we shall have no dinner." + +"I sit down with a pirate! Never! I'll have no dinner--I'll starve--I'll +die!" + +"But, my dear aunt, it's the only chance we have of obtaining our +release; and if you do not do it Mrs Lascelles will think that you wish +to remain with them." + +"Mrs Lascelles judges of other people by herself." + +"The captain is certainly a very well-behaved, handsome man. He looks +like a nobleman in disguise. What an odd thing it would be, aunt, if +this should be all a hoax!" + +"A hoax, child?" replied Miss Ossulton, sitting up on the sofa. + +Cecilia found that she had hit the right nail, as the saying is; and she +brought forward so many arguments to prove that she thought it was a +hoax to frighten them, and that the gentleman above was a man of +consequence, that her aunt began to listen to reason, and at last +consented to join the dinner-party. Mrs Lascelles now came down below; +and when dinner was announced they repaired to the large cabin, where +they found Pickersgill and Corbett waiting for them. + +Miss Ossulton did not venture to look up, until she heard Pickersgill +say to Mrs Lascelles, "Perhaps, madam, you will do me the favour to +introduce me to that lady, whom I have not had the honour of seeing +before?" + +"Certainly, my lord," replied Mrs Lascelles. "Miss Ossulton, the aunt of +this young lady." + +Mrs Lascelles purposely did not introduce _his lordship_ in return, that +she might mystify the old spinster. + +"I feel highly honoured in finding myself in the company of Miss +Ossulton," said Pickersgill. "Ladies, we wait but for you to sit down. +Ossulton, take the head of the table and serve the soup." + +Miss Ossulton was astonished; she looked at the smugglers, and perceived +two well-dressed gentlemanly men, one of whom was apparently a lord, and +the other having the same family name. + +"It must be all a hoax," thought she; and she very quietly took to her +soup. + +The dinner passed off very pleasantly; Pickersgill was agreeable, +Corbett funny, and Miss Ossulton so far recovered herself as to drink +wine with his lordship, and to ask Corbett what branch of their family +he belonged to. + +"I presume it's the Irish branch," said Mrs Lascelles, prompting him. + +"Exactly, madam," replied Corbett. + +"Have you ever been to Torquay, ladies?" inquired Pickersgill. + +"No, my lord," answered Mrs Lascelles. + +"We shall anchor there in the course of an hour, and probably remain +there till to-morrow. Steward, bring coffee. Tell the cook these cutlets +were remarkably well dressed." + +The ladies retired to the cabin. Miss Ossulton was now convinced that it +was all a hoax; but said she, "I shall tell Lord B. my opinion of their +practical jokes when he returns. What is his lordship's name who is on +board?" + +"He won't tell us," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but I think I know; it is +Lord Blarney." + +"Lord Blaney you mean, I presume," said Miss Ossulton; "however, the +thing is carried too far. Cecilia, we will go on shore at Torquay, and +wait till the yacht returns with Lord B. I don't like these jokes; they +may do very well for widows, and people of no rank." + +Now, Mrs Lascelles was sorry to find Miss Ossulton so much at her ease. +She owed her no little spite, and wished for revenge. Ladies will go +very far to obtain this. How far Mrs Lascelles would have gone, I will +not pretend to say; but this is certain, that the last innuendo of Miss +Ossulton very much added to her determination. She took her bonnet and +went on deck, at once told Pickersgill that he could not please her or +Cecilia more than by frightening Miss Ossulton, who, under the idea that +it was all a hoax, had quite recovered her spirits; talked of her pride +and ill-nature, and wished her to receive a useful lesson. Thus, to +follow up her revenge, did Mrs Lascelles commit herself so far, as to be +confidential with the smuggler in return. + +"Mrs Lascelles, I shall be able to obey you, and, at the same time, to +combine business with pleasure." + +After a short conversation, the yacht dropped her anchor at Torquay. It +was then about two hours before sunset. As soon as the sails were +furled, one or two gentlemen, who resided there, came on board to pay +their respects to Lord B.; and, as Pickersgill had found out from +Cecilia that her father was acquainted with no one there, he received +them in person; asked them down in the cabin; called for wine; and +desired them to send their boat away, as his own was going on shore. The +smugglers took great care, that the steward, cook, and lady's maid, +should have no communication with the guests; one of them, by Corbett's +direction, being a sentinel over each individual. The gentlemen remained +about half-an-hour on board, during which Corbett and the smugglers had +filled the portmanteaus found in the cabin with the lace, and they were +put in the boat. Corbett then landed the gentlemen in the same boat, and +went up to the hotel, the smugglers following him with the portmanteaus, +without any suspicion or interruption. As soon as he was there, he +ordered post-horses, and set off for a town close by, where he had +correspondents; and thus the major part of the cargo was secured. +Corbett then returned in the night, bringing with him people to receive +the goods; and the smugglers landed the silks, teas, &c., with the same +good fortune. Everything was out of the yacht except a portion of the +lace, which the portmanteaus would not hold. Pickersgill might easily +have sent this on shore; but, to please Mrs Lascelles, he arranged +otherwise. + +The next morning, about an hour after breakfast was finished, Mrs +Lascelles entered the cabin pretending to be in the greatest +consternation, and fell on the sofa as if she were going to faint. + +"Good heavens! what is the matter?" exclaimed Cecilia, who knew very +well what was coming. + +"Oh, the wretch! he has made such proposals!" + +"Proposals! what proposals? what! Lord Blaney?" cried Miss Ossulton. + +"Oh, he's no lord! he's a villain and a smuggler! and he insists that we +shall both fill our pockets full of lace, and go on shore with him." + +"Mercy on me! Then it is no hoax after all; and I've been sitting down +to dinner with a smuggler!" + +"Sitting down, madam!--if it were to be no more than that--but we are to +take his arm up to the hotel. Oh, dear! Cecilia, I am ordered on deck, +pray come with me!" + +Miss Ossulton rolled on the sofa, and rang for Phoebe; she was in a +state of great alarm. + +A knock at the door. + +"Come in," said Miss Ossulton, thinking it was Phoebe; when Pickersgill +made his appearance. + +"What do you want, sir? Go out, sir! go out directly, or I'll scream!" + +"It is no use screaming, madam; recollect that all on board are at my +service. You will oblige me by listening to me, Miss Ossulton. I am, as +you know, a smuggler, and I must send this lace on shore. You will +oblige me by putting it into your pockets, or about your person, and +prepare to go on shore with me. As soon as we arrive at the hotel, you +will deliver it to me, and I then shall reconduct you on board of the +yacht. You are not the first lady who has gone on shore with contraband +articles about her person." + +"Me, sir! go on shore in that way? No, sir, never! What will the world +say? the Hon. Miss Ossulton walking with a smuggler! No, sir, never!" + +"Yes, madam, walking arm-in-arm with a smuggler: I shall have you on one +arm, and Mrs Lascelles on the other; and I would advise you to take it +very quietly; for, in the first place, it will be you who smuggle, as +the goods will be found on your person, and you will certainly be put in +prison, for, at the least appearance of insubordination, we run and +inform against you; and, further, your niece will remain on board as a +hostage for your good behaviour, and if you have any regard for her +liberty, you will consent immediately." + +Pickersgill left the cabin, and shortly afterwards Cecilia and Mrs +Lascelles entered, apparently much distressed. They had been informed of +all, and Mrs Lascelles declared, that, for her part, sooner than leave +her poor Cecilia to the mercy of such people, she had made up her mind +to submit to the smuggler's demands. Cecilia also begged so earnestly, +that Miss Ossulton, who had no idea that it was a trick, with much +sobbing and blubbering, consented. + +When all was ready, Cecilia left the cabin; Pickersgill came down, +handed up the two ladies, who had not exchanged a word with each other +during Cecilia's absence; the boat was ready alongside--they went in, +and pulled on shore. Everything succeeded to the smuggler's +satisfaction. Miss Ossulton, frightened out of her wits, took his arm; +and, with Mrs Lascelles on the other, they went up to the hotel, +followed by four of his boat's crew. As soon as they were shown into a +room, Corbett, who was already on shore, asked for Lord B., and joined +them. The ladies retired to another apartment, divested themselves of +their contraband goods, and, after calling for some sandwiches and wine, +Pickersgill waited an hour, and then returned on board. Mrs Lascelles +was triumphant; and she rewarded her new ally, the smuggler, with one of +her sweetest smiles. Community of interest will sometimes make strange +friendships. + + + + +Chapter VII + +CONCLUSION + + +We must now return to the other parties who have assisted in the acts of +this little drama. Lord B., after paddling and paddling, the men +relieving each other in order to make head against the wind which was +off shore, arrived about midnight at a small town in West Bay, from +whence he took a chaise on to Portsmouth, taking it for granted that his +yacht would arrive as soon as, if not before himself, little imagining +that it was in possession of the smugglers. There he remained three or +four days, when, becoming impatient, he applied to one of his friends +who had a yacht at Cowes, and sailed with him to look after his own. + +We left the _Happy-go-lucky_ chased by the revenue cutter. At first the +smuggler had the advantage before the wind; but, by degrees, the wind +went round with the sun, and brought the revenue cutter to leeward: it +was then a chase on a wind, and the revenue cutter came fast up with +her. + +Morrison, perceiving that he had no chance of escape, let run the ankers +of brandy that he might not be condemned; but still he was in an awkward +situation, as he had more men on board than allowed by Act of +Parliament. He therefore stood on, notwithstanding the shot of the +cutter went over and over him, hoping that a fog or night might enable +him to escape; but he had no such good fortune,--one of the shot carried +away the head of his mast, and the _Happy-go-lucky's_ luck was all over. +He was boarded and taken possession of; he asserted that the extra men +were only passengers; but, in the first place, they were dressed in +seamen's clothes; and, in the second, as soon as the boat was aboard of +her, Appleboy had gone down to his gin-toddy, and was not to be +disturbed. The gentlemen smugglers therefore passed an uncomfortable +night; and the cutter going to Portland by daylight before Appleboy was +out of bed, they were taken on shore to the magistrate. Hautaine +explained the whole affair, and they were immediately released and +treated with respect; but they were not permitted to depart until they +were bound over to appear against the smugglers, and prove the brandy +having been on board. They then set off for Portsmouth in the seamen's +clothes, having had quite enough of yachting for that season, Mr +Ossulton declaring that he only wanted to get his luggage, and then he +would take care how he put himself again in the way of the shot of a +revenue cruiser, or of sleeping a night on her decks. + +In the mean time Morrison and his men were locked up in the jail, the +old man, as the key was turned on him, exclaiming, as he raised his foot +in vexation, "That cursed blue pigeon!" + +We will now return to the yacht. + +About an hour after Pickersgill had come on board, Corbett had made all +his arrangements and followed him. It was not advisable to remain at +Torquay any longer, through fear of discovery; he, therefore, weighed +the anchor before dinner, and made sail. + +"What do you intend to do now, my lord?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"I intend to run down to Cowes, anchor the yacht in the night; and an +hour before daylight have you in my boat with all my men. I will take +care that you are in perfect safety, depend upon it, even if I run a +risk. I should, indeed, be miserable, if, through my wild freaks, any +accident should happen to Mrs Lascelles or Miss Ossulton." + +"I am very anxious about my father," observed Cecilia. "I trust that you +will keep your promise." + +"I always have hitherto, Miss Ossulton; have I not?" + +"Ours is but a short and strange acquaintance." + +"I grant it; but it will serve for you to talk about long after. I shall +disappear as suddenly as I have come--you will neither of you, in all +probability, ever see me again." + +The dinner was announced, and they sat down to table as before; but the +elderly spinster refused to make her appearance; and Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia, who thought she had been frightened enough, did not attempt to +force her. Pickersgill immediately yielded to these remonstrances, and, +from that time she remained undisturbed in the ladies' cabin, meditating +over the indignity of having sat down to table, having drank wine, and +been obliged to walk on shore, taking the arm of a smuggler, and appear +in such a humiliating situation. + +The wind was light, and they made but little progress, and were not +abreast of Portland till the second day, when another yacht appeared in +sight, and the two vessels slowly neared until in the afternoon they +were within four miles of each other. It then fell a dead calm--signals +were thrown out by the other yacht, but could not be distinguished, and, +for the last time, they sat down to dinner. Three days' companionship on +board of a vessel, cooped up together, and having no one else to +converse with, will produce intimacy; and Pickersgill was a young man of +so much originality and information, that he was listened to with +pleasure. He never attempted to advance beyond the line of strict +decorum and politeness; and his companion was equally unpresuming. +Situated as they were, and feeling what must have been the case had they +fallen into other hands, both Cecilia and Mrs Lascelles felt some degree +of gratitude towards him; and, although anxious to be relieved from so +strange a position, they had gradually acquired a perfect confidence in +him, and this had produced a degree of familiarity, on their parts, +although never ventured upon by the smuggler. As Corbett was at the +table, one of the men came down and made a sign. Corbett shortly after +quitted the table and went on deck. "I wish, my lord, you would come up +a moment, and see if you can make this flag out," said Corbett, giving a +significant nod to Pickersgill. "Excuse me, ladies, one moment," said +Pickersgill, who went on deck. + +"It is the boat of the yacht coming on board," said Corbett; "and Lord +B. is in the stern-sheets with the gentleman who was with him." + +"And how many men in the boat?--let me see--only four. Well, let his +lordship and his friend come: when they are on the deck, have the men +ready in case of accident; but if you can manage to tell the boat's crew +that they are to go on board again, and get rid of them that way, so +much the better. Arrange this with Adams, and then come down again--his +lordship must see us all at dinner." + +Pickersgill then descended, and Corbett had hardly time to give his +directions and to resume his seat, before his lordship and Mr Stewart +pulled up alongside and jumped on deck. There was no one to receive them +but the seamen, and those whom they did not know. They looked round in +amazement; at last his lordship said to Adams, who stood forward, + +"What men are you?" + +"Belong to the yacht, ye'r honour." + +Lord B. heard laughing in the cabin; he would not wait to interrogate +the men; he walked aft, followed by Mr Stewart, looked down the +skylight, and perceived his daughter and Mrs Lascelles with, as he +supposed, Hautaine and Ossulton. + +Pickersgill had heard the boat rub the side, and the sound of the feet +on deck, and he talked the more loudly, that the ladies might be caught +by Lord B. as they were. He heard their feet at the skylight, and knew +that they could hear what passed; and at that moment he proposed to the +ladies that as this was their last meeting at table they should all take +a glass of champagne to drink to "their happy meeting with Lord B." This +was a toast which they did not refuse. Maddox poured out the wine, and +they were all bowing to each other, when his lordship, who had come down +the ladder, walked into the cabin, followed by Mr Stewart. Cecilia +perceived her father; the champagne-glass dropped from her hand--she +flew into his arms, and burst into tears. + +"Who would not be a father, Mrs Lascelles?" said Pickersgill, quietly +seating himself, after having first risen to receive Lord B. + +"And pray, whom may I have the honour of finding established here?" said +Lord B., in an angry tone, speaking over his daughter's head, who still +lay in his arms. "By heavens, yes?--Stewart, it is the smuggling captain +dressed out." + +"Even so, my lord," replied Pickersgill. "You abandoned your yacht to +capture me; you left these ladies in a vessel crippled for want of men; +they might have been lost. I have returned good for evil by coming on +board with my own people, and taking charge of them. This night, I +expected to have anchored your vessel in Cowes, and have left them in +safety." + +"By the--" cried Stewart. + +"Stop, sir, if you please!" cried Pickersgill; "recollect you have once +already attacked one who never offended. Oblige me by refraining from +intemperate language; for I tell you I will not put up with it. +Recollect, sir, that I have refrained from that, and also from taking +advantage of you when you were in my power. Recollect, sir, also, that +the yacht is still in possession of the smugglers, and that you are in +no condition to insult with impunity. My lord, allow me to observe, that +we men are too hot of temperament to argue, or listen coolly. With your +permission, your friend, and my friend, and I, will repair on deck, +leaving you to hear from your daughter and that lady all that has +passed. After that, my lord, I shall be most happy to hear anything +which your lordship may please to say." + +"Upon my word--" commenced Mr Stewart. + +"Mr Stewart," interrupted Cecilia Ossulton, "I request your silence; +nay, more, if ever we are again to sail in the same vessel together, I +_insist_ upon it." + +"Your lordship will oblige me by enforcing Miss Ossulton's request," +said Mrs Lascelles. + +Mr Stewart was dumbfounded, no wonder, to find the ladies siding with +the smuggler. + +"I am obliged to you ladies for your interference," said Pickersgill; +"for, although I have the means of enforcing conditions, I should be +sorry to avail myself of them. I wait for his lordship's reply." + +Lord B. was very much surprised. He wished for an explanation; he bowed +with _hauteur_. Everybody appeared to be in a false position; even he, +Lord B., somehow or another had bowed to a smuggler. + +Pickersgill and Stewart went on deck, walking up and down, crossing each +other without speaking, but reminding you of two dogs who both are +anxious to fight, but have been restrained by the voice of their +masters. Corbett followed, and talked in a low tone to Pickersgill; +Stewart went over to leeward to see if the boat was still alongside, but +it had long before returned to the yacht. Miss Ossulton had heard her +brother's voice, but did not come out of the after-cabin; she wished to +be magnificent and, at the same time, she was not sure whether all was +right, Phoebe having informed her that there was nobody with her brother +and Mr Stewart, and that the smugglers still had the command of the +vessel. After a while, Pickersgill and Corbett went down forward, and +returned dressed in the smuggler's clothes, when they resumed their walk +on the deck. + +In the mean time, it was dark; the cutter flew along the coast; and the +Needles' lights were on the larboard bow. The conversation between +Cecilia, Mrs Lascelles, and her father, was long. When all had been +detailed, and the conduct of Pickersgill duly represented, Lord B. +acknowledged that, by attacking the smuggler, he had laid himself open +to retaliation; that Pickersgill had shown a great deal of forbearance +in every instance; and, after all, had he not gone on board the yacht +she might have been lost, with only three seamen on board. He was amused +with the smuggling and the fright of his sister; still more with the +gentlemen being sent to Cherbourg, and much consoled that he was not the +only one to be laughed at. He was also much pleased with Pickersgill's +intention of leaving the yacht safe in Cowes harbour, his respect to the +property on board, and his conduct to the ladies. On the whole, he felt +grateful to Pickersgill; and where there is gratitude there is always +good will. + +"But who can he be?" said Mrs Lascelles; "his name he acknowledges not +to be Pickersgill; and he told me confidentially that he was of good +family." + +"Confidentially, my dear Mrs Lascelles!" said Lord B. + +"Oh, yes! we are both his confidants. Are we not, Cecilia?" + +"Upon my honour, Mrs Lascelles, this smuggler appears to have made an +impression which many have attempted in vain." + +Mrs Lascelles did not reply to that remark, but said, "Now, my lord, you +must decide--and I trust you will to oblige us--treat him as he has +treated us, with the greatest respect and kindness." + +"Why should you suppose otherwise?" replied Lord B.; "it is not only my +wish but my interest so to do. He may take us over to France to-night, +or anywhere else. Has he not possession of the vessel?" + +"Yes," replied Cecilia; "but we flatter ourselves that we have _the +command_. Shall we call him down, papa?" + +"Ring for Maddox. Maddox, tell Mr Pickersgill, who is on deck, that I +wish to speak with him, and shall be obliged by his stepping down into +the cabin." + +"Who, my lord? What? _Him_?" + +"Yes, _him_," replied Cecilia, laughing. + +"Must I call him, my lord, now, miss?" + +"You may do as you please, Maddox; but recollect, he is still in +possession of the vessel," replied Cecilia. + +"Then, with your lordship's permission, I will; it's the safest way." + +The smuggler entered the cabin; the ladies started as he appeared in his +rough costume, with his throat open, and his loose black handkerchief. +He was the _beau idéal_ of a handsome sailor. + +"Your lordship wishes to communicate with me?" + +"Mr Pickersgill, I feel that you have had cause of enmity against me, +and that you have behaved with forbearance. I thank you for your +considerate treatment of the ladies; and I assure you, that I feel no +resentment for what has passed." + +"My lord, I am quite satisfied with what you have said; and I only hope +that, in future, you will not interfere with a poor smuggler, who may be +striving, by a life of danger and privation, to procure subsistence for +himself and, perhaps, his family. I stated to these ladies my intention +of anchoring the yacht this night at Cowes, and leaving her as soon as +she was in safety. Your unexpected presence will only make this +difference, which is, that I must previously obtain your lordship's +assurance that those with you will allow me and my men to quit her +without molestation, after we have performed this service." + +"I pledge you my word, Mr Pickersgill, and I thank you into the bargain. +I trust you will allow me to offer some remuneration." + +"Most certainly not, my lord." + +"At all events, Mr Pickersgill, if, at any other time, I can be of +service, you may command me." + +Pickersgill made no reply. + +"Surely, Mr Pickersgill,--" + +"Pickersgill! how I hate that name!" said the smuggler, musing. "I beg +your lordship's pardon--if I may require your assistance for any of my +unfortunate companions--" + +"Not for yourself, Mr Pickersgill?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"Madam, I smuggle no more." + +"For the pleasure I feel in hearing that resolution, Mr Pickersgill," +said Cecilia, "take my hand and thanks." + +"And mine," said Mrs Lascelles, half crying. + +"And mine, too," said Lord B., rising up. + +Pickersgill passed the back of his hand across his eyes, turned round, +and left the cabin. + +"I'm so happy!" said Mrs Lascelles, bursting into tears. + +"He's a magnificent fellow," observed Lord B. "Come, let us all go on +deck." + +"You have not seen my aunt, papa." + +"True; I'll go in to her, and then follow you." + +The ladies went upon deck. Cecilia entered into conversation with Mr +Stewart, giving him a narrative of what had happened. Mrs Lascelles sat +abaft at the taffrail, with her pretty hand supporting her cheek, +looking very much _à la Juliette_. + +"Mrs Lascelles," said Pickersgill, "before we part, allow me to observe, +that it is _you_ who have induced me to give up my profession--" + +"Why me, Mr Pickersgill?" + +"You said that you did not like it." + +Mrs Lascelles felt the force of the compliment. "You said, just now, +that you hated the name of Pickersgill: why do you call yourself so?" + +"It was my smuggling name, Mrs Lascelles." + +"And now, that you have left off smuggling, pray what may be the name we +are to call you by?" + +"I cannot resume it till I have not only left this vessel, but shaken +hands with, and bid farewell to, my companions; and by that time, Mrs +Lascelles, I shall be away from you." + +"But I've a great curiosity to know it, and a lady's curiosity must be +gratified. You must call upon me some day, and tell it me. Here is my +address." + +Pickersgill received the card with a low bow: and Lord B. coming on +deck, Mrs Lascelles hastened to meet him. + +The vessel was now passing the Bridge at the Needles, and the smuggler +piloted her on. As soon as they were clear and well inside, the whole +party went down into the cabin, Lord B. requesting Pickersgill and +Corbett to join him in a parting glass. Mr Stewart, who had received the +account of what had passed from Cecilia, was very attentive to +Pickersgill, and took an opportunity of saying, that he was sorry that +he had said or done anything to annoy him. Every one recovered his +spirits; and all was good humour and mirth, because Miss Ossulton +adhered to her resolution of not quitting the cabin till she could quit +the yacht. At ten o'clock the yacht was anchored. Pickersgill took his +leave of the honourable company, and went in his boat with his men; and +Lord B. was again in possession of his vessel, although he had not a +ship's company. Maddox recovered his usual tone; and the cook flourished +his knife, swearing that he should like to see the smuggler who would +again order him to dress cutlets _à l'ombre Chinoise_. + +The yacht had remained three days at Cowes, when Lord B. received a +letter from Pickersgill, stating that the men of his vessel had been +captured, and would be condemned, in consequence of their having the +gentlemen on board, who were bound to appear against them, to prove that +they had sunk the brandy. Lord B. paid all the recognisances, and the +men were liberated for want of evidence. + +It was about two years after this that Cecilia Ossulton, who was sitting +at her work-table in deep mourning for her aunt, was presented with a +letter by the butler. It was from her friend Mrs Lascelles, informing +her that she was married again to a Mr Davenant, and intended to pay her +a short visit on her way to the Continent. Mr and Mrs Davenant arrived +the next day; and when the latter introduced her husband, she said to +Miss Ossulton, "Look, Cecilia, dear, and tell me if you have ever seen +Davenant before." + +Cecilia looked earnestly: "I have, indeed," cried she at last, extending +her hand with warmth; "and happy am I to meet with him again." + +For in Mr Davenant she recognised her old acquaintance, the captain of +the _Happy-go-lucky_, Jack Pickersgill, the smuggler. + + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, +Vol. 1-2, by Captain Frederick Marryat + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13148 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ac2fb9e --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13148 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13148) diff --git a/old/13148-8.txt b/old/13148-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1f0934f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13148-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,22592 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 +by Frederick Marryat + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 + +Author: Captain Frederick Marryat + +Release Date: August 9, 2004 [EBook #13148] +[Last updated September 12, 2020] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PETER SIMPLE *** + + + + +Produced by Ted Garvin, Carol David and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + +[Transcriber's note: The spelling inconsistencies of the original have +been retained in this etext. In some cases, they have been denoted by +[sic].] + +PETER SIMPLE + +AND + +THE THREE CUTTERS + +BY +CAPTAIN MARRYAT + +VOL I + +LONDON + +J.M. DENT AND CO +BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN AND CO. +MDCCCXCV + + + + +Contents + +VOLUME I + + +LIST OF MARRYAT'S WORKS, ETC ix +BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION xi +PREFATORY NOTE TO PETER SIMPLE AND THE THREE CUTTERS xxxiv + +_PETER SIMPLE_ + +CHAPTER I 1 + +CHAPTER II 7 + +CHAPTER III 12 + +CHAPTER IV 18 + +CHAPTER V 24 + +CHAPTER VI 30 + +CHAPTER VII 37 + +CHAPTER VIII 43 + +CHAPTER IX 52 + +CHAPTER X 60 + +CHAPTER XI 67 + +CHAPTER XII 74 + +CHAPTER XIII 87 + +CHAPTER XIV 98 + +CHAPTER XV 111 + +CHAPTER XVI 124 + +CHAPTER XVII 139 + +CHAPTER XVIII 148 + +CHAPTER XIX 157 + +CHAPTER XX 164 + +CHAPTER XXI 172 + +CHAPTER XXII 181 + +CHAPTER XXIII 191 + +CHAPTER XXIV 197 + +CHAPTER XXV 203 + +CHAPTER XXVI 212 + +CHAPTER XXVII 219 + +CHAPTER XXVIII 228 + +CHAPTER XXIX 239 + +CHAPTER XXX 247 + + + + + + +LIST OF MARRYAT'S WORKS. + +IN THE ORDER OF PUBLICATION. + +By FREDERICK MARRYAT. _Born_, July 1792. _Died_, Aug. 1848. + +*SUGGESTIONS FOR THE ABOLITION OF THE PRESENT SYSTEM + OF IMPRESSMENT IN THE NAVAL SERVICE 1822 + +ADVENTURES OF A NAVAL OFFICER, OR FRANK MILDMAY 1829 + +THE KING'S OWN 1830 + +NEWTON FORSTER 1832 + +PETER SIMPLE 1834 + +JACOB FAITHFUL 1834 + +PACHA OF MANY TALES 1835 + +MR MIDSHIPMAN EASY 1836 + +JAPHET IN SEARCH OF A FATHER 1836 + +THE PIRATE AND THE THREE CUTTERS 1836 + +*A CODE OF SIGNALS FOR THE USE OF VESSELS EMPLOYED + IN THE MERCHANT SERVICE 1837 + +SNARLEY-YOW, OR THE DOG FIEND 1837 + +THE PHANTOM SHIP 1839 + +*DIARY IN AMERICA 1839 + +OLLA PODRIDA 1840 + +POOR JACK 1840 + +MASTERMAN READY 1841 + +JOSEPH RUSHBROOK, OR THE POACHER 1841 + +PERCIVAL KEENE 1842 + +NARRATIVE OF THE TRAVELS AND ADVENTURES OF MONSIEUR + VIOLET 1843 + +SETTLERS IN CANADA 1844 + +THE MISSION, OR SCENES IN AFRICA 1845 + +THE PRIVATEER'S MAN 1846 + +THE CHILDREN OF THE NEW FOREST 1847 + +THE LITTLE SAVAGE 1848-49 + +VALERIE 1849 + + + +This edition will include all the novels and tales, only omitting the +three items marked in the above list with an asterisk. The text will be, +for the most part, that of the first editions, except for the correction +of a few obvious errors and some modernisation of spelling. _Rattlin the +Reefer,_ so frequently attributed to Marryat, will not be reprinted +here. It was written by Edward Howard, subeditor, under Marryat, of the +_The Metropolitan Magazine,_ and author of _Outward Bound,_ etc. On the +title-page it is described simply as _edited_ by Marryat and, according +to his daughter, the Captain did no more than stand literary sponsor to +the production. In 1850, Saunders and Otley published:--_The Floral +Telegraph, or, Affections Signals_ by the late Captain Marryat, R.N., +but Mrs Lean knows nothing of the book, and it is probably not Marryat's +work. + +_The Life and Letters of Captain Marryat: by Florence Marryat (Mrs +Lean), in 2 vols.: Richard Bentley_ 1872, are the only biographical +record of the novelist extant. In some matters they are very detailed +and personal, in others reticent. The story has been spiritedly retold, +with reflections and criticisms, by Mr David Hannay in the "Great +Writers" Series, 1889. + +The frontispiece is from a print, published by Henry Colburn in 1836, +after the portrait by Simpson, the favourite pupil of Sir Thomas +Lawrence, which was "considered more like him than any other." Count +D'Orsay took a portrait of Marryat, in coloured crayons, about 1840, but +it was not a success. A portrait, in water colours, by Behnes, was +engraved as a frontispiece to _The Pirate and The Three Cutters._ His +bust was taken by Carew. + +R.B.J. + + + + +Frederick Marryat + + +Without yielding implicit credence to the handsome pedigree of the +Marryats supplied by Mrs Lean, the novelist's daughter, we may give a +glance in passing to the first-fruits of this family tree. They-- +naturally--came over with the Conqueror, and emerged from obscurity +under Stephen as the proud "possessors of much lands at the village of +Meryat, Ashton Meryat, and elsewhere in Somersetshire ... One Nicotas de +Maryet is deputed to collect the ransom of Richard Coeur de Leon through +the county of Somerset ... In the reign of Edward I., Sir John de +Maryet is called to attend the Great Parliament; in that of Edward II., +his son is excommunicated for embowelling his deceased wife; 'a fancy,' +says the county historian, 'peculiar to the knightly family of Meryat.'" +Mrs Lean quotes records of other Meryat "hearts" to which an honourable +burial has been accorded. The house of Meryat finally lost its property +on the fall of Lady Jane Grey, to whom it had descended through the +female line. + +Captain Marryat belonged to the Suffolk branch of the family, of whom +"one John de Maryat had the honour of dancing in a masque before the +Virgin Queen at Trinity College, Cambridge ... was sent to aid the +Huguenots in their wars in France ... escaped the massacre of St +Bartholemew and, in 1610, returned to England." Here he married "Mary, +the daughter and heiress of Daniel Luke, of the Covent Garden (a rank +Puritan family in _Hudibras_), and again settled in his paternal county +of Suffolk." Less partial biographers neglect to trace the Marryats +beyond this Huguenot officer, who is described by them as a refugee. + +Whatever may be the truth of these matters, it is certain that during +the 17th and 18th centuries the Maryats were a respectable, middle-class +Puritan family--ministers, doctors, and business men. In the days of the +merry monarch a John Marryat became distinguished as a "painful +preacher," and was twice expelled from his livings for non-conformity. +Captain Marryat's grandfather was a good doctor, and his father, Joseph +Marryat of Wimbledon House, was an M.P., chairman for the committee of +Lloyd's, and colonial agent for the island of Grenada--a substantial +man, who refused a baronetcy, and was honoured by an elegy from +Campbell. He married Charlotte Geyer, or Von Geyer, a Hessian of good +descent. + +Frederick, born July 10, 1792, was one of fifteen sons and daughters, +"of whom ten attained maturity, and several have entered the lists of +literature." His eldest brother, Joseph, was a famous collector of +china, and author of _Pottery and Porcelain_; the youngest, Horace, +wrote _One Year in Sweden, Jutland and the Danish Isles_; and his +sister, Mrs Bury Palliser, was the author of _Nature and Art_ (not to be +confounded with Mrs Inchbald's novel of that name), _The History of +Lace_, and _Historic Devices, Badges and War Cries_. His father and +grandfather published political and medical works, respectively, while +the generation below was equally prolific. Marryat's youngest son, +Frank, described his travels in _Borneo and the Eastern Archipelago_ and +_Mountains and Molehills_, or _Recollections of a Burnt Journal_; and +his daughter Florence, Mrs Lean, the author of his _Life and Letters_, +has written a great many popular novels. + +We can record little of Marryat's boyhood beyond a general impression of +his discontent with school-masters and parents. Mr Hannay is probably +right in regarding his hard pictures of home and school life as +reflections of his own experience. + +It is said that on one occasion he was found to be engaged in the +pursuit of knowledge while standing on his head; and that he accounted +for the circumstance with a humorous philosophy almost worthy of Jack +Easy--"Well! I've been trying for three hours to learn it on my feet, +but I couldn't, so I thought I would try whether it would be easier to +learn it on my head." Another anecdote, of a contest with his +school-fellow Babbage, is interesting and characteristic. It appears +that the inventor of the calculating machine, unlike Marryat, was a very +diligent lad; and that he accordingly arranged, with some kindred +spirits, to begin work at three in the morning. The restless Marryat +wished to join the party, but his motives were suspected and the +conspirators adopted the simple expedient of not waking him. Marryat +rolled his bed across the door, and Babbage pushed it away. Marryat tied +a string from his wrist to the door handle, and Babbage unfastened it. A +thicker string was cut, a chain was unlinked by pliers, but at last the +future captain forged a chain that was too stout for the future +mathematician. Babbage, however, secured his revenge; as soon as his +comrade was safely asleep he slipped a piece of pack thread through the +chain and, carrying the other end to his own bed, was enabled by a few +rapid jerks to waken Marryat whenever he chose. Apparently satisfied +with his victory in the gentle art of tormenting, Babbage yielded +voluntarily upon the original point of dispute. Marryat and others +joined the reading party, transformed it to a scene of carnival, and +were discovered by the authorities. + +Meanwhile Marryat was constantly running away--to sea; according to his +own account because he was obliged to wear his elder brother's old +clothes. On one occasion his father injudiciously sent him back in a +carriage with some money in his pocket. The wise youth slipped out, and +finding his way home by some quiet approach, carried off his younger +brothers to the theatre. He finally ran away from a private tutor, and +Mr Marryat recognised the wisdom of compliance. Being then fourteen, +that is of age to hold a commission, Frederick was allowed to enter the +navy, and on the 23rd of September 1806, he started on his first voyage +on board H.M.S. _Impérieuse_, Captain Lord Cochrane, for the +Mediterranean. + +He could scarcely have entered upon his career under better auspices. In +a line-of-battle ship he would have had no chance of service at this +stage of the war, when the most daring of the French could not be +decoyed out of port; but the frigates had always more exciting work on +hand than mere patrolling. There were cruisers to be captured, +privateers to be cut off, convoys to be taken, and work to be done on +the coast among the forts. And Lord Cochrane, Earl of Dundonald, was not +the man to neglect his opportunities. His daring gallantry and cool +judgment are accredited to most of Marryat's captains, particularly in +_Frank Mildmay_, where the cruise of the _Impérieuse_ along the Spanish +coast is most graphically and literally described. Cochrane's +_Autobiography_ betrays the strong, stern individuality of the man, +invaluable in action, somewhat disturbing in civil life. As a reformer +in season and out of season, at the Admiralty or in the House of +Commons, his zeal became a bye-word, but Marryat knew him only on board +his frigate, as an inspiring leader of men. He never passed an +opportunity of serving his country and winning renown, but his daring +was not reckless. + +"I must here remark," says Marryat in his private log, "that I never +knew any one so careful of the lives of his ship's company as Lord +Cochrane, or any one who calculated so closely the risks attending any +expedition. Many of the most brilliant achievements were performed +without loss of a single life, so well did he calculate the chances; and +one half the merit which he deserves for what he did accomplish has +never been awarded him, merely because, in the official despatches, +there has not been a long list of killed and wounded to please the +appetite of the English public." + +Marryat has left us a graphic account of his first day at sea:-- + + "The _Impérieuse_ sailed; the Admiral of the port was one who _would_ + be obeyed, but _would not_ listen always to reason or common sense. + The signal for sailing was enforced by gun after gun; the anchor was + hove up, and, with all her stores on deck, her guns not even mounted, + in a state of confusion unparalleled from her being obliged to hoist + in faster than it was possible she could stow away, she was driven out + of harbour to encounter a heavy gale. A few hours more would have + enabled her to proceed to sea with security, but they were denied; the + consequences were appalling, they might have been fatal. In the + general confusion some iron too near the binnacles had attracted the + needle of the compasses; the ship was steered out of her course. At + midnight, in a heavy gale at the close of November, so dark that you + could not distinguish any object, however close, the _Impérieuse_ + dashed upon the rocks between Ushant and the Main. The cry of terror + which ran through the lower decks; the grating of the keel as she was + forced in; the violence of the shocks which convulsed the frame of the + vessel; the hurrying up of the ship's company without their clothes; + and then the enormous wave which again bore her up, and carried her + clean over the reef, will never be effaced from my memory." + +This, after all, was not an inappropriate introduction to the stormy +three years which followed it. The story is written in the novels, +particularly _Frank Mildmay[1]_ where every item of his varied and +exciting experience is reproduced with dramatic effect. It would be +impossible to rival Marryat's narrative of episodes, and we shall gain +no sense of reality by adjusting the materials of fiction to an exact +accordance with fact. He says that these books, except _Frank Mildmay,_ +are "wholly fictitious in characters, in plot, and in events," but they +are none the less truthful pictures of his life at sea. Cochrane's +_Autobiography_ contains a history of the _Impérieuse_; it is from +_Peter Simple_ and his companions that we must learn what Marryat +thought and suffered while on board. + +Under Cochrane he cruised along the coast of France from Ushant to the +mouth of the Gironde, saw some active service in the Mediterranean, and, +after a return to the ocean, was finally engaged in the Basque Roads. A +page of his private log contains a lively _resumé_ of the whole +experience:-- + + "The cruises of the _Impérieuse_ were periods of continual excitement, + from the hour in which she hove up her anchor till she dropped it + again in port; the day that passed without a shot being fired in + anger, was to us a blank day: the boats were hardly secured on the + booms than they were cast loose and out again; the yard and stay + tackles were forever hoisting up and lowering down. The expedition + with which parties were formed for service; the rapidity of the + frigate's movements night and day; the hasty sleep snatched at all + hours; the waking up at the report of the guns, which seemed the only + keynote to the hearts of those on board, the beautiful precision of + our fire, obtained by constant practice; the coolness and courage of + our captain, inoculating the whole of the ship's company; the + suddenness of our attacks, the gathering after the combat, the killed + lamented, the wounded almost envied; the powder so burnt into our face + that years could not remove it; the proved character of every man and + officer on board, the implicit trust and adoration we felt for our + commander; the ludicrous situations which would occur in the extremest + danger and create mirth when death was staring you in the face, the + hair-breadth escapes, and the indifference to life shown by all--when + memory sweeps along these years of excitement even now, my pulse beats + more quickly with the reminiscence." + +After some comparatively colourless service in other frigates, during +which he gained the personal familiarity with West Indian life of which +his novels show many traces, he completed his time as a midshipman, and +in 1812, returned home to pass. As a lieutenant his cruises were +uneventful and, after being several times invalided, he was promoted +Commander in 1815, just as the Great War was closing. He was now only +twenty-three, and had certainly received an admirable training for the +work with which he was soon to enchant the public. Though never present +at a great battle, and many good officers were in the same position, he +had seen much smart service and knew from others what lay beyond his own +experience. He evidently took copious notes of all he saw and heard. He +had sailed in the North Sea, in the Channel, in the Mediterranean, and +along the Eastern coast of America from Nova Scotia to Surinam. He had +been rapidly promoted. + +It is tolerably obvious that, both as midshipman and lieutenant, he +evinced the cool daring and manly independence that characterises his +heroes, with a dash perhaps of Jack Easy's philosophy. It was a rough +life and he was not naturally amenable to discipline, but probably his +superiors made a favourite of the dashing handsome lad. The habit, which +helps to redeem Frank Mildmay and even graces Peter Simple, of saving +others from drowning, was always his own. His daughter records, with +pardonable pride, that he was presented while in the navy with +twenty-seven certificates, recommendations, and votes of thanks for +having saved the lives of others at the risk of his own, besides +receiving a gold medal from the Humane Society. + +During the peace of 1815 he "occupied himself in acquiring a perfect +knowledge of such branches of science as might prove useful should the +Lords of the Admiralty think fit to employ him in a voyage of discovery +or survey." A vaguely projected expedition to Africa was, however, +relinquished on account of his marriage with "Catherine, second daughter +of Sir Stephen Shairp, Knt., of Houston, Co. Linlithgow (for many years +Her Britannic Majesty's Consul-General, and twice _chargé d'affaires_ at +the court of Russia);" which took place in January 1819. In this same +year he was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society, according to +tradition on account of his skill in drawing caricatures. + +He was at sea again soon after his marriage as commander of the _Beaver_ +sloop, in which commission he was sent to mount guard over Napoleon at +St Helena until his death. He took a sketch of the dead emperor in full +profile, which was engraved in England and France, and considered a +striking likeness. He was meanwhile no doubt perfecting the code of +signals for the use of merchant vessels of all nations, including the +cipher for secret correspondence, which was immediately adopted, and +secured to its inventor the Cross of the Legion of Honour from Louis +Philippe. It was not actually published in book form till 1837, from +which date its sale produced an appreciable income. + +After returning in the _Rosario_ with the despatches concerning +Napoleon's death, he was sent to escort the body of Queen Caroline to +Cuxhaven. He was then told off for revenue duty in the Channel, and had +some smart cruising for smugglers until the _Rosario_ was pronounced +unseaworthy and paid off on the 22nd of February 1822. As a result of +this experience he wrote a long despatch to the Admiralty, in which he +freely criticised the working of the preventive service, and made some +practical suggestions for its improvement. In 1822 he also published +_Suggestions for the abolition of the present system of impressment in +the Naval Service_, a pamphlet which is said to have made him unpopular +with Royalty. He frequently in his novels urges the same reform, which +he very earnestly desired. + +He was appointed to the _Larne_ in March 1823, and saw some hard service +against the Burmese, for which he received the thanks of the general and +the Indian Government, the Companionship of the Bath, and the command of +the _Ariadne_. Two years later, in November 1830, he resigned his ship, +and quitted active service, according to Mrs Lean, because of his +appointment as equerry to His Royal Highness the Duke of Sussex. + +He was probably influenced, however, by a distaste for routine duties in +time of peace, the claims of a growing family, and literary ambitions. +He had already published _Frank Mildmay_, and received for it the +handsome sum of £400, and negotiations were very possibly on foot +concerning _The King's Own_, of which the composition had been +completed. + +There is considerable difficulty in following the remainder of Marryat's +life, owing to the silence of our only authority, Mrs Lean. No reasons +can be assigned for the sudden flittings in which he constantly +indulged, or for his hasty journeys to America and to the Continent. He +was clearly impulsive in all things, and, though occasionally shrewd, +betrayed a mania for speculation. Moreover, he was naturally addicted to +the Bohemian pleasures of life, being somewhat promiscuous in +hospitality, and absolutely prodigal in the art of making presents. To +satisfy these various demands on his pocket, he was often driven to +spells of desperate work, in spite of the really handsome sums he +received from the publishers and editors with whom he was always at +variance. + +His first regular establishment was Sussex House, Hampstead, which he +soon "swapped," after dinner and champagne, for a small estate of 1000 +acres at Langham, Norfolk; though he did not finally settle in the +country till 1843. His original occupation of Langham, which realised +him a steady annual deficit, was followed by a return to London, a visit +to Brighton and, in 1835, a journey on the Continent to Brussels and +Lausanne. + +He had, meanwhile, been contributing to _The Metropolitan Magazine,_ +which he edited from 1832 to 1835, finally selling his proprietary +rights to Saunders and Otley for £1050. His editorial work was arduous, +and many of his own compositions were first published in _The +Metropolitan._ Here appeared _Newton Forster,_ 1832, _Peter Simple,_ +1833, _Jacob Faithful, Midshipman Easy,_ and _Japhet in search of a +Father_(!) 1834, besides a comedy in three acts, entitled _The Gipsy,_ a +tragedy called _The Cavalier of Seville,_ and the miscellaneous papers +afterwards collected under the title, _Olla Podrida._ + +In 1833 he stood, as a reformer, for Tower Hamlets, but his methods of +canvassing were imprudent. He dwelt upon his own hobbies, and +disregarded those of the electors. He apparently expected to carry the +day by opposing the pressgang in a time of peace, and even permitted +himself to repudiate philanthropy towards the African negro. The +gallantry with which, on one occasion, he saved the lives of his +audience when the floor of the room had fallen in, was not permitted to +cover the rash energy of his reply to a persistent questioner:--"If ever +you, or one of your sons, should come under my command at sea and +deserve punishment, if there be no other effectual mode of conferring +it, _I shall flog you."_ It is hardly necessary to add that he lost the +election. + +He afterwards failed in a plan for the establishment of brevet rank in +the army, but gave some valuable assistance in the preparation of the +Merchant Shipping Bill of 1834. + +It was about this time that Marryat is currently reported to have +challenged F.D. Maurice to a duel. The latter had published an +anonymous novel, called _Eustace Conway,_ in which "a prominent +character, represented in no amiable colours, bore the name of Captain +Marryat." The truth of the story seems to be that the Captain went in +hot wrath to Bentley, and demanded an apology or a statement that the +coincidence was unintentional. Maurice replied, through his publisher, +that he had never heard of Captain Marryat. It may be questioned whether +the apology was not more galling than the original offence. + +In 1834 some legal difficulties arose in connection with his father's +memory, which Marryat accepted with admirable philosophy:-- + + "As for the Chancellor's judgment," he told his mother, "I cannot say + that I thought anything about it, on the contrary, it appears to me + that he might have been much more severe if he had thought proper. It + is easy to impute motives, and difficult to disprove them. I thought, + considering his enmity, that he let us off cheap; as there is no + _punishing a chancellor,_ and he might say what he pleased with + impunity. I did not therefore _roar_, I only _smiled_. The effect will + be nugatory. Not one in a thousand will read it; those who do, know it + refers to a person not in this world; and of those, those who knew my + father will not believe it, those who did not will care little about + it, and forget the name in a week. Had he given the decision in our + favour, I should have been better pleased, _but it's no use crying; + what's done can't be helped."_ + +This letter was written from Brighton, and the following year found +Marryat on the Continent, at home in a circle of gay spirits who might +almost be called the outcasts of English society. They were +pleasure-seekers, by no means necessarily depraved but, by narrow +incomes or other causes, driven into a cheerful exile. The captain was +always ready to give and take in the matter of entertainment, and he was +invited everywhere though, on one occasion at least, it is recorded that +he proved an uncongenial guest. Having dined, as a recognised lion among +lions, he "didn't make a single joke during the whole evening." His host +remarked on his silence the next morning, and Marryat replied:-- + + "Oh, if that's what you wanted you should have asked me when you were + alone. Why, did you imagine I was going to let out any of my jokes for + those fellows to put in their next books? No, that is not _my_ plan. + When I find myself in such company _as that_ I open my ears and hold + my tongue, glean all I can, and give them nothing in return." + +He did not always, however, play the professional author so offensively, +and we hear of his taking part in private theatricals and dances, +preparing a Christmas tree for the children, and cleverly packing his +friends' portmanteaux. + +Meanwhile, he was writing _The Pirate and Three Cutters,_ for which he +received £750, as well as _Snarley-yow_ and the _Pacha of many Tales._ +He had been contributing to the _Metropolitan_ at 15 guineas a sheet, +until he paid a flying visit to England in 1836 in order to transfer his +allegiance to the _New Monthly Magazine,_ from which he secured 20 +guineas. Mrs Lean states that her father received £1100 each for _Peter +Simple, Jacob Faithful, Japhet,_ and _The Pacha of many Tales;_ £1200 +for _Midshipman Easy,_ £1300 for _Snarley-yow,_ and £1600 for the _Diary +in America._ Yet "although Captain Marryat and his publishers mutually +benefited by their transactions with each other, one would have +imagined, from the letters exchanged between them, that they had been +natural enemies." She relates how one of the fraternity told Marryat he +was "somewhat eccentric--an odd creature," and added, "I am somewhat +warm-tempered myself, and therefore make allowance for yours, which is +certainly warm enough." + +Marryat justified the charge by replying:-- + + "There was no occasion for you to make the admission that you are + somewhat warm-tempered; your letter establishes that fact. Considering + your age, you are a little volcano, and if the insurance were aware of + your frequent visits at the Royal Exchange, they would demand double + premium for the building. Indeed, I have my surmises _now_ as to the + last conflagration. + + * * * * * + + Your remark as to the money I have received may sound well, mentioned + as an isolated fact; but how does it sound when it is put in + juxtaposition with the sums you have received? I, who have found + everything, receiving a pittance, while you, who have found nothing + but the shop to sell in, receiving such a lion's share. I assert again + that it is slavery. I am Sinbad the sailor, and you are the old man of + the mountain, clinging on my back, and you must not be surprised at my + wishing to throw you off the first convenient opportunity. + + The fact is, you have the vice of old age very strong upon you, and + you are blinded by it; but put the question to your sons, and ask them + whether they consider the present agreement fair. Let them arrange + with me, and do you go and read your Bible. We all have our ideas of + Paradise, and if other authors think like me, the most pleasurable + portion of anticipated bliss is that there will be no publishers + there. That idea often supports me after an interview with one of your + fraternity." + +Marryat only returned to England a few months before hurrying off to +America in April 1837. The reasons for this move it is impossible to +conjecture, as we can scarcely accept the apparent significance of his +comments on Switzerland in the _Diary on the Continent:--_ + + "Do the faults of these people arise from the peculiarity of their + constitutions, or from the nature of their government? To ascertain + this, one must compare them with those who live under similar + institutions. _I must go to America--that is decided_." + +He was received by the Americans with a curious mixture of suspicion and +enthusiasm. English men and women of letters in late years had been +visiting the Republic and criticising its institutions to the mother +country--with a certain forgetfulness of hospitalities received that was +not, to say the least of it, in good taste. Marryat was also an author, +and it seemed only too probable that he had come to spy out the land. On +the other hand, his books were immensely popular over the water and, but +for dread of possible consequences, Jonathan was delighted to see him. +His arrival at Saratoga Springs produced an outburst in the local papers +of the most pronounced journalese:-- + + "This distinguished writer is at present a sojourner in our city. + Before we knew the gallant Captain was respiring our balmy air, we + really did wonder what laughing gas had imbued our atmosphere--every + one we met in the streets appeared to be in such a state of + jollification; but when we heard that the author of _Peter Simple_ was + actually puffing a cigar amongst us we no longer marvelled at the + pleasant countenances of our citizens. He has often made them laugh + when he was thousands of miles away. Surely now it is but natural that + they ought to be tickled to death at the idea of having him present." + +The Bostonians were proud to claim him as a compatriot through his +mother, and a nautical drama from his pen--_The Ocean Wolf, or the +Channel Outlaw_--was performed at New York with acclamation. He had some +squabbles with American publishers concerning copyright, and was clever +enough to secure two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars from Messrs +Carey & Hart for his forthcoming _Diary in America_ and _The Phantom +Ship,_ which latter first appeared in the _New Monthly,_ 1837 and 1838. +He evidently pleased the Americans on the whole, and was not +unfavourably impressed by what he saw, but the six volumes which he +produced on his return are only respectable specimens of bookmaking, and +do not repay perusal. It was, indeed, his own opinion that he had +already written enough. "If I were not rather in want of money," he says +in a letter to his mother, "I certainly would not write any more, for I +am rather tired of it. I should like to disengage myself from the +fraternity of authors, and be known in future only in my profession as a +good officer and seaman." He had hoped to see some service in Canada, +but the opportunity never came. + +In England, to which he returned in 1839, the want of money soon came to +be felt more seriously. His father's fortune had been invested in the +West Indies, and began to show diminishing returns. For this and other +reasons he led a very wandering existence, for another four or five +years, until 1843. A year at 8 Duke Street, St James, was followed by a +short stay with his mother at Wimbledon House, from which he took +chambers at 120 Piccadilly, and then again moved to Spanish Place, +Manchester Square. Apparently at this time he made an unsuccessful +attempt to return to active service. He was meanwhile working hard at +_Poor Jack, Masterman Ready, The Poacher, Percival Keene,_ etc., and +living hard in the merry circle of a literary Bohemia, with Clarkson +Stanfield, Rogers, Dickens, and Forster; to whom were sometimes added +Lady Blessington, Ainsworth, Cruickshank, and Lytton. The rival +interests served to sour his spirits and weaken his constitution. + +The publication of _The Poacher_ in the _Era_ newspaper involved its +author in a very pretty controversy. A foolish contributor to _Fraser's +Magazine_ got into a rage with Harrison Ainsworth for _condescending_ to +write in the weekly papers, and expressed himself as follows:-- + + "If writing monthly fragments threatened to deteriorate Mr Ainsworth's + productions, what must be the result of this _hebdomadal_ habit? + Captain Marryat, we are sorry to say, has taken to the same line. Both + these popular authors may rely upon our warning, that they will live + to see their laurels fade unless they more carefully cultivate a + spirit of _self-respect._ That which was venial in a miserable + starveling of Grub Street is _perfectly disgusting_ in the + extravagantly paid novelists of these days--the _caressed_, of + generous booksellers. Mr Ainsworth and Captain Marryat ought to + disdain such _pitiful peddling._ Let them eschew it without delay." + +Marryat's reply was, spirited and manly. After ridiculing _Fraser's_ +attempt "to set up a standard of _precedency_ and _rank_ in literature," +and humorously proving that an author's works were not to be esteemed in +proportion to the length of time elapsing between their production, he +turned to the more serious and entirely honest defence that, like +Dickens, he was supplying the lower classes with wholesome recreation:-- + + "I would rather write for the instruction, or even the amusement of + the poor than for the amusement of the rich; and I would sooner raise + a smile or create an interest in the honest mechanic or agricultural + labourer who requires relaxation, than I would contribute to dispel + the _ennui_ of those who loll on their couches and wonder in their + idleness what they shall do next. Is the rich man only to be amused? + are mirth and laughter to be made a luxury, confined to the upper + classes, and denied to the honest and hard-working artisan?... + + In a moral point of view, I hold that I am right. We are educating the + lower classes; generations have sprung up who can read and write; and + may I enquire what it is that they have to read, in the way of + amusement?--for I speak not of the Bible, which is for private + examination. They have scarcely anything but the weekly newspapers, + and, as they cannot command amusement, they prefer those which create + the most excitement; and this I believe to be the cause of the great + circulation of the _Weekly Dispatch,_ which has but too well succeeded + in demoralising the public, in creating disaffection and ill-will + towards the government, and assisting the nefarious views of + demagogues and chartists. It is certain that men would rather laugh + than cry--would rather be amused than rendered gloomy and + discontented--would sooner dwell upon the joys or sorrows of others in + a tale of fiction than brood over their own supposed wrongs. If I put + good and wholesome food (and, as I trust, sound moral) before the + lower classes, they will eventually eschew that which is coarse and + disgusting, which is only resorted to because no better is supplied. + Our weekly newspapers are at present little better than records of + immorality and crime, and the effect which arises from having no other + matter to read and comment upon, is of serious injury to the morality + of the country ... I consider, therefore, that in writing for the + amusement and instruction of the poor man, I am doing that which has + but been too much neglected--that I am serving my country, and you + surely will agree with me that to do so in not _infra. dig._ in the + proudest Englishman; and, as a Conservative, you should commend rather + than stigmatise my endeavours in the manner which you have so hastily + done." + + +It has been said that Marryat's wandering ceased in 1843, and it was in +that year that he settled down at Langham to look after his own estate. +Langham is in the northern division of Norfolk, half way between +Wells-next-the-Sea and Holt. The Manor House, says Mrs Lean, "without +having any great architectural pretensions, had a certain unconventional +prettiness of its own. It was a cottage in the Elizabethan style, built +after the model of one at Virginia Water belonging to his late majesty, +George IV., with latticed windows opening on to flights of stone steps +ornamented with vases of flowers, and leading down from the long narrow +dining-room, where (surrounded by Clarkson Stanfield's illustrations of +_Poor Jack_, with which the walls were clothed) Marryat composed his +later works, to the lawn behind. The house was thatched and gabled, and +its pinkish white walls and round porch were covered with roses and ivy, +which in some parts climbed as high as the roof itself." + +In the unpublished fragment of his _Life of Lord Napier_ Marryat had +declared that retired sailors naturally turned to agriculture, and +frequently made good farmers. A sailor on land, he rather quaintly +remarks, is "but a sort of Adam--a new creature, starting into existence +as it were in his prime;" and "the greatest pleasures of man consist in +imitating the Deity in his _creative_ power." The anticipated _pleasure_ +in farming he did to a great extent realise, but the _profits_ were +still to seek. It can only be said that his losses were rather smaller +that they had been in his absence. + +Thus:-- + + 1842. Total receipts, £154 2 9 + " Expenditure, 1637 0 6 + 1846. Total receipts, 898 12 6 + " Expenditure, 2023 10 8 + +His former tenant had indeed shown but little respect for the property. +Besides taking all he could out of the land without putting anything +into it, he fitted up the drawing-room of the manor (which in its +brightest days had been known in the village as the "Room of Thousand +Columns," from an effect produced by mirrors set in the panels of +folding doors, reflecting trellised pillars,) with rows of beds, which +he let out to tramps at twopence a night! + +Of these latter years on the farm we can gather some distinctly pleasant +impressions. Marryat was evidently a good master at all times. He +delighted to arrange for festivities in the servants' hall, but he was +also very tolerant to poachers, and considered it his first duty to find +work for his men when times were bad. His model pigsties and cottages +were unpopular, but he loved his animals and understood them. The chief +merit of his lazy and somewhat asinine pony Dumpling consisted in his +talent for standing still. Upon this patient beast the captain would +occasionally sally forth to shoot, assisting his natural +short-sightedness by a curious "invention of his own;"--a plain piece of +crystal surrounded by a strip of whalebone, hanging in front of his +right eye from the brim of his "shocking bad hat." He was a careless +dresser, but scrupulously clean; no smoker, but very fond of snuff. He +had a fancy for pure white china which had to be procured from the +Continent. + +Cordial invitations from friends seldom drew him from his self-imposed +labours, and it appears that, in spite of his son's debts and other +domestic troubles, he led a fairly contented existence among his dogs +and his children. To the latter, though occasionally passionate, he was +"a most indulgent father and friend." He never locked anything away from +them, or shut them out of any room in the house. Though severe on +falsehood and cowardice, he was indifferent to mischief, and one is +certainly driven to pity for the governess who was summoned to look +after them. His methods in this connection were original. "He kept a +quantity of small articles for presents in his secretary; and at the +termination of each week the children and governess, armed with a report +of their general behaviour, were ushered with much solemnity into the +library to render up an account. Those who had behaved well during the +preceding seven days received a prize, because they had been so good; +and those who had behaved ill also received one, in hopes that they +would never be naughty again: the governess was also presented with a +gift, that her criticism on the justice of the transaction might be +disarmed." The father was not a strict disciplinarian, and it is related +that when a little one had made "a large rent in a new frock," for which +she expected punishment from her governess, and ran to him for advice, +he "took hold of the rent and tore off the whole lower part of the +skirt," saying, "Tell her I did it." + +The sons were seldom at home, but in spite of a certain constitutional +wildness and lack of prudence, they were evidently a gallant couple, +delighting their father's heart. Frederick, the eldest, became a +distinguished officer, after conquering a strong propensity to practical +joking, and was much regretted in the service when wrecked at the age of +twenty-seven. He was last seen "upbraiding, in his jocular manner, some +people who were frightened, when a sea swept over the ship and took him +with it." Frank was entered upon the roll of the navy at the tender age +of three, and presented to the Port Admiral of Plymouth in full costume. +The officer patted him on the head, saying "Well, you're a fine little +fellow," to which the youngster replied, "and you're a fine old cock, +too." + +He became a cultivated and bold traveller, beloved by his friends, and +not unknown to fame. He only survived his father a few years, and died +at the age of twenty-eight. + +Marryat now began his charming series of stories for children, a work to +which he turned for a practical reason that sounds strangely from his +impulsive lips:-- + +"I have lately taken to a different style of writing, that is, for +young people. My former productions, like all novels, have had their +day, and for the present, at least, will sell no more; but it is not +so with the _juveniles_; they have an annual demand, and become _a +little income_ to me; which I infinitely prefer to receiving any sum +in a mass, which very soon disappears somehow or other." Save for a +little tendency to preachment, these volumes, particularly _Masterman +Ready_, and _The Children of the New Forest_, are admirably suited to +their purpose from the genuine childlikeness of their conception and +treatment. + +Meanwhile Marryat's health was rapidly giving way, and almost his last +appearance before the public was in 1847, when he addressed a pathetic, +but fairly dignified letter to the First Lord of the Admiralty, as a +protest against some affront, which he suspected, to his professional +career. The exact circumstances of the case cannot be now discovered, +but it may be readily conjectured that the formalism of official +courtesy did not match with the Captain's taste, and that the necessity +for self-control on his own part had irritated his resentment. The First +Lord expressed his regret at having wounded a distinguished officer, and +bestowed on him a good service pension. + +It may be said that the pension came too late, if indeed it would at any +time have been particularly serviceable. Marryat was now engaged in that +melancholy chase for health which generally augurs the beginning of the +end. He had ruptured two blood vessels, and was in great danger from the +constitutional weakness which had first attacked him as a young +lieutenant in the West Indies. He moved to his mother's house in order +to consult the London doctors. A mild climate was recommended, and he +went down to Hastings, where the news of his son's death destroyed his +own chances of recovery. After about a month's trial of Brighton, he +came back to the London doctors who told him that "in six months he +would be numbered with his forefathers." + +He went home to Langham to die. Through the summer of 1848 he lingered +on, "in the 'room of a thousand columns,' with the mimic sky, and birds, +and flowers, above and around him, where he chose to lie upon a +mattress, placed on the ground, and there, almost in darkness, often in +pain, and without occupation, he lay--cheerful and uncomplaining, and at +times even humorous." His daughters frequently read aloud to him, and he +always asked for fresh flowers. At the last he became delirious, though +continuing to dictate pages of talk and reflection. On the morning of +August 9th, 1848, he expired in perfect quiet. + +"Although not handsome," says Mrs Lean, "Captain Marryat's personal +appearance was very prepossessing. In figure he was upright and +broad-shouldered for his height, which measured 5ft. 10in. His hands, +without being undersized, were remarkably perfect in form, and modelled +by a sculptor at Rome on account of their symmetry. The character of his +mind was borne out by his features, the most salient expression of which +was the frankness of an open heart. The firm decisive mouth, and massive +thoughtful forehead were redeemed from heaviness by the humorous light +that twinkled in his deep-set grey eyes, which, bright as diamonds, +positively flashed out their fun, or their reciprocation of the fun of +others. As a young man, dark crisp curls covered his head; but later in +life, when, having exchanged the sword for the pen and the +plougshare [sic], he affected a soberer and more patriarchal style of +dress and manner, he wore his grey hair long, and almost down to his +shoulder. His eyebrows were not alike, one being higher up and more +arched than the other, which peculiarity gave his face a look of +enquiry, even in repose. In the upper lip was a deep cleft, and in the +chin as deep a dimple." + +Christopher North describes Captain Marryat as "a captain in the navy, +and an honour to it--an admirable sailor, and an admirable writer--and +would that he were with us on the leads, my lads, for a pleasanter +fellow, _to those who know him,_ never enlivened the social board." It +is evident, indeed, that an intimate knowledge of his character was +necessary to its appreciation, for his daughter declares that "like most +warm-hearted people he was quick to take offence, and no one could have +decided, after an absence of six months, with whom he was friends, and +with whom he was not." One of the said friends wrote truly:-- + + "His faults proceeded from an _over-active_ mind, which could never be + quiet--morning, noon, or night. If he had no one to love, he + quarrelled for want of something better to do; he planned for himself + and for everybody, and changed his mind ten times a-day." + +"Many people have asked," says Mrs Lean "whether Captain Marryat, when +at home, was not 'very funny.' No, decidedly not. In society, with new +topics to discuss, and other wits about him on which to sharpen his own +--or, like flint and steel, to emit sparks by friction--he was as gay +and humorous as the best of them; but at home he was always a +thoughtful, and, at times, a very grave man; for he was not exempt from +those ills that all flesh is heir to, and had his sorrows and his +difficulties and moments of depression, like the rest of us. At such +times it was dangerous to thwart and disturb him, for he was a man of +strong passions and indomitable determination." + +It is not difficult to conceive the character in outline--"wise +English-hearted Captain Marryat," Kingsley calls him. He was incapable +of any mean low vices, but his zest for pleasure was keen, and never +restrained by motives of prudence or consideration for others. His +strong passions at times made him disagreeably selfish and overbearing, +qualities forgiven by acquaintances for his social brilliancy, and by +friends for his frank affection. With some business talents and +practical shrewdness, he was quite incapable of wisely conducting his +affairs, by reason of a mania for speculation and originality. There was +considerable waste of good material in his fiery composition. + +His books reveal the higher standard of his true nature. Their merits +and faults are alike on the surface. Lockhart declared that "he stood +second in merit to no living novelist but Miss Edgeworth. His happy +delineations and contrasts of character, and easy play of native fun, +redeem a thousand faults of verbosity, clumsiness, and coarseness. His +strong sense, and utter superiority to affectation of all sorts, command +respect, and in his quiet effectiveness of circumstantial narrative he +sometimes approaches old Defoe." + +It is easy to criticise Marryat, for his grammar is reckless, he could +not construct a plot, he wrote too much and too rapidly in order to earn +money. But then he was an altogether admirable _raconteur_, and for the +purposes of narration his style was peculiarly appropriate--simple, +rapid, lucid, and vigorous. He does not tax our powers of belief beyond +endurance, or weary us with wonder. His crises are the more effective +from the absence of any studied introduction or thunderous comment; and +he carries his readers through stirring adventures of storm and battle +with a business-like precision that silences doubt. He breathes the +spirit of the sea, himself a genuine sailor, almost as childlike and +simple as one of his own creations. His books are real voyages, in which +a day of bustle and danger is followed by peace and quiet, yarns on the +quarter-deck, and some practical joking among the middies. + +He delights in the exhibition of oddities, and the telling of tall +stories outside the regular course of the narrative, which bubbles over +with somewhat boisterous fun. And his humour is genuine and spontaneous; +it is farcical without descending to buffoonery. His comic types are +built up on character, and, if not subtle, are undeniably human and +living. They are drawn, moreover, with sympathy. + +The whole tone of Marryat's work is singularly fresh, wholesome, and +manly. His heroes endure rough handling, but they fight their way, for +the most part, to the essential qualities of gentlemen. They are no +saints; but excellent comrades, honest lovers, and brave tars. + +R. BRIMLEY JOHNSON. + +FOOTNOTES: +[1] In dwelling upon the autobiographical nature of the _incident_, in +_Frank Mildmay,_ it is necessary to guard against the supposition that +Marryat's _character_ in any way resembled his hero's. See further +Preface to _F M._ + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE + +TO + +PETER SIMPLE AND THE THREE CUTTERS + +From _Nodes Ambrosianæ_:-- + +_Shepherd_ [HOGG]. Did Marry yacht write _Peter Simple_? Peter Simple +in his ain way's as gude's Parson Adams ... He that invented Peter +Simple's a Sea-Fieldin'. + + * * * * * + +_Peter Simple_ is printed from the first edition, in three volumes. +Saunders and Otley, 1834. + +_The Three Cutters_ is printed from the first edition. Longman, Rees, +Orme, Brown, Green, and Longman, 1836. + +_The Three Cutters_ was first published in one volume with _The +Pirate_, containing a portrait of Marryat--Drawn by W. Behnes, engraved +by H. Cook; and "illustrated with twenty splendid engravings from +drawings by Clarkson Stanfield, Esq., R.A." + + + + +Peter Simple + + + + +Chapter I + +The great advantage of being the fool of the family--My destiny is +decided, and I am consigned to a stockbroker as part of His Majesty's +sea stock--Unfortunately for me Mr Handycock is a bear, and I get +very little dinner. + + +If I cannot narrate a life of adventurous and daring exploits, +fortunately I have no heavy crimes to confess; and, if I do not rise in +the estimation of the reader for acts of gallantry and devotion in my +country's cause, at least I may claim the merit of zealous and +persevering continuance in my vocation. We are all of us variously +gifted from Above, and he who is content to walk, instead of to run, on +his allotted path through life, although he may not so rapidly attain +the goal, has the advantage of not being out of breath upon his arrival. +Not that I mean to infer that my life has not been one of adventure. I +only mean to say that, in all which has occurred, I have been a passive, +rather than an active, personage; and, if events of interest are to be +recorded, they certainly have not been sought by me. + +As well as I can recollect and analyze my early propensities, I think +that, had I been permitted to select my own profession, I should in all +probability have bound myself apprentice to a tailor; for I always +envied the comfortable seat which they appeared to enjoy upon the +shopboard, and their elevated position, which enabled them to look down +upon the constant succession of the idle or the busy, who passed in +review before them in the main street of the country town, near to which +I passed the first fourteen years of my existence. + +But my father, who was a clergyman of the Church of England, and the +youngest brother of a noble family, had a lucrative living, and a "soul +above buttons," if his son had not. It has been from time immemorial the +heathenish custom to sacrifice the greatest fool of the family to the +prosperity and naval superiority of the country, and, at the age of +fourteen, I was selected as the victim. If the custom be judicious, I +had no reason to complain. There was not one dissentient voice, when it +was proposed before all the varieties of my aunts and cousins, invited +to partake of our new-year's festival. I was selected by general +acclamation. Flattered by such an unanimous acknowledgment of my +qualification, and a stroke of my father's hand down my head which +accompanied it, I felt as proud, and, alas! as unconscious as the calf +with gilded horns, who plays and mumbles with the flowers of the garland +which designates his fate to every one but himself. I even felt, or +thought I felt, a slight degree of military ardour, and a sort of vision +of future grandeur passed before me, in the distant vista of which I +perceived a coach with four horses and a service of plate. It was, +however, driven away before I could decipher it, by positive bodily +pain, occasioned by my elder brother Tom, who, having been directed by +my father to snuff the candles, took the opportunity of my abstraction +to insert a piece of the still ignited cotton into my left ear. But as +my story is not a very short one, I must not dwell too long on its +commencement. I shall therefore inform the reader, that my father, who +lived in the north of England, did not think it right to fit me out at +the country town, near to which we resided; but about a fortnight after +the decision which I have referred to, he forwarded me to London, on the +outside of the coach, with my best suit of bottle-green and six shirts. +To prevent mistakes, I was booked in the way-bill "to be delivered to Mr +Thomas Handycock, No. 14, Saint Clement's Lane--carriage paid." My +parting with the family was very affecting; my mother cried bitterly, +for, like all mothers, she liked the greatest fool which she had +presented to my father, better than all the rest; my sisters cried +because my mother cried; Tom roared for a short time more loudly than +all the rest, having been chastised by my father for breaking his fourth +window in that week;--during all which my father walked up and down the +room with impatience, because he was kept from his dinner, and, like all +orthodox divines, he was tenacious of the only sensual enjoyment +permitted to his cloth. + +At last I tore myself away. I had blubbered till my eyes were so red and +swollen, that the pupils were scarcely to be distinguished, and tears +and dirt had veined my cheeks like the marble of the chimney-piece. My +handkerchief was soaked through with wiping my eyes and blowing my nose, +before the scene was over. My brother Tom, with a kindness which did +honour to his heart, exchanged his for mine, saying, with fraternal +regard, "Here, Peter, take mine, it's as dry as a bone." But my father +would not wait for a second handkerchief to perform its duty. He led me +away through the hall, when, having shaken hands with all the men and +kissed all the maids, who stood in a row with their aprons to their +eyes, I quitted my paternal roof. + +The coachman accompanied me to the place from whence the stage was to +start. Having seen me securely wedged between two fat old women, and +having put my parcel inside, he took his leave, and in a few minutes I +was on my road to London. + +I was too much depressed to take notice of anything during my journey. +When we arrived in London, they drove to the Blue Boar (in a street, the +name of which I have forgotten). I had never seen or heard of such an +animal, and certainly it did appear very formidable; its mouth was open +and teeth very large. What surprised me still more was to observe that +its teeth and hoofs were of pure gold. Who knows, thought I, that in +some of the strange countries which I am doomed to visit, but that I may +fall in with, and shoot one of these terrific monsters? with what haste +shall I select those precious parts, and with what joy should I, on my +return, pour them as an offering of filial affection into my mother's +lap!--and then, as I thought of my mother, the tears again gushed into +my eyes. + +The coachman threw his whip to the ostler, and the reins upon the +horses' backs; he then dismounted, and calling to me, "Now, young +gentleman, I'se a-waiting," he put a ladder up for me to get down by; +then turning to a porter, he said to him, "Bill, you must take this here +young gem'man and that ere parcel to this here direction.--Please to +remember the coachman, sir." I replied that I certainly would, if he +wished it, and walked off with the porter; the coachman observing, as I +went away, "Well, he is a fool--that's sartain." I arrived quite safe at +St Clement's-lane, when the porter received a shilling for his trouble +from the maid who let me in, and I was shown up into a parlour, where I +found myself in company with Mrs Handycock. + +Mrs Handycock was a little meagre woman, who did not speak very good +English, and who appeared to me to employ the major part of her time in +bawling out from the top of the stairs to the servants below. I never +saw her either read a book or occupy herself with needlework, during the +whole time I was in the house. She had a large grey parrot, and I really +cannot tell which screamed the worse of the two--but she was very civil +and kind to me, and asked me ten times a day when I had last heard of my +grandfather, Lord Privilege. I observed that she always did so if any +company happened to call in during my stay at her house. Before I had +been there ten minutes, she told me that she "hadored sailors--they were +the defendiours and preserviours of their kings and countries," and that +"Mr Handycock would be home by four o'clock, and then we should go to +dinner." Then she jumped off her chair to bawl to the cook from the head +of the stairs--"Jemima, Jemima!--ve'll ha'e the viting biled instead of +fried." "Can't, marm," replied Jemima, "they be all begged and crumbed, +with their tails in their mouths." "Vell, then, never mind, Jemima," +replied the lady.--"Don't put your finger into the parrot's cage, my +love--he's apt to be cross with strangers. Mr Handycock will be home at +four o'clock, and then we shall have our dinner. Are you fond of +viting?" + +As I was very anxious to see Mr Handycock, and very anxious to have my +dinner, I was not sorry to hear the clock on the stairs strike four, +when Mrs Handycock again jumped up, and put her head over the banisters, +"Jemima, Jemima, it's four o'clock!" "I hear it, marm," replied the +cook; and she gave the frying-pan a twist, which made the hissing and +the smell come flying up into the parlour, and made me more hungry than +ever. + +Rap, tap, tap! "There's your master, Jemima," screamed the lady. "I hear +him, marm," replied the cook. "Run down, my dear, and let Mr Handycock +in," said his wife. "He'll be so surprised at seeing you open the door." + +I ran down, as Mrs Handycock desired me, and opened the street-door. +"Who the devil are you?" in a gruff voice, cried Mr Handycock; a man +about six feet high, dressed in blue cotton-net pantaloons and Hessian +boots, with a black coat and waistcoat. I was a little rebuffed, I must +own, but I replied that I was Mr Simple. "And pray, Mr Simple, what +would your grandfather say if he saw you now? I have servants in plenty +to open my door, and the parlour is the proper place for young +gentlemen." + +"Law, Mr Handycock," said his wife, from the top of the stairs, "how can +you be so cross? I told him to open the door to surprise you." + +"And you have surprised me," replied he, "with your cursed folly." + +While Mr Handycock was rubbing his boots on the mat, I went upstairs +rather mortified, I must own, as my father had told me that Mr Handycock +was his stockbroker, and would do all he could to make me comfortable: +indeed, he had written to that effect in a letter, which my father +showed to me before I left home. When I returned to the parlour, Mrs +Handycock whispered to me, "Never mind, my dear, it's only because +there's something wrong on 'Change. Mr Handycock is a _bear_ just now." +I thought so too, but I made no answer, for Mr Handycock came upstairs, +and walking with two strides from the door of the parlour to the +fire-place, turned his back to it, and lifting up his coat-tails, began +to whistle. + +"Are you ready for your dinner, my dear?" said the lady, almost +trembling. + +"If the dinner is ready for me. I believe we usually dine at four," +answered her husband, gruffly. + +"Jemima, Jemima, dish up! do you hear, Jemima?" "Yes, marm," replied the +cook, "directly I've thickened the butter;" and Mrs Handycock resumed +her seat, with, "Well, Mr Simple, and how is your grandfather, Lord +Privilege?" "He is quite well, ma'am," answered I, for the fifteenth +time at least. But dinner put an end to the silence which followed this +remark. Mr Handycock lowered his coat-tails and walked downstairs, +leaving his wife and me to follow at our leisure. + +"Pray, ma'am," inquired I, as soon as he was out of hearing, "what is +the matter with Mr Handycock, that he is so cross to you?" + +"Vy, my dear, it is one of the misfortunes of mater-mony, that ven the +husband's put out, the vife is sure to have her share of it. Mr +Handycock must have lost money on 'Change, and then he always comes home +cross. Ven he vins, then he is as merry as a cricket." + +"Are you people coming down to dinner?" roared Mr Handycock from below. +"Yes, my dear," replied the lady, "I thought that you were washing your +hands." We descended into the dining-room, where we found that Mr +Handycock had already devoured two of the whitings, leaving only one on +the dish for his wife and me. "Vould you like a little bit of viting, my +dear?" said the lady to me. "It's not worth halving," observed the +gentleman, in a surly tone, taking up the fish with his own knife and +fork, and putting it on his plate. + +"Well, I'm so glad you like them, my dear," replied the lady meekly; +then turning to me, "there's some nice roast _weal_ coming, my dear." + +The veal made its appearance, and fortunately for us, Mr Handycock could +not devour it all. He took the lion's share, nevertheless, cutting off +all the brown, and then shoving the dish over to his wife to help +herself and me. I had not put two pieces in my mouth before Mr Handycock +desired me to get up and hand him the porter-pot, which stood on the +sideboard. I thought that if it was not right for me to open a door, +neither was it for me to wait at table--but I obeyed him without making +a remark. + +After dinner, Mr Handycock went down to the cellar for a bottle of wine. +"O deary me!" exclaimed his wife, "he must have lost a mint of money--we +had better go up stairs and leave him alone; he'll be better after a +bottle of port, perhaps." I was very glad to go away, and being very +tired, I went to bed without any tea, for Mrs Handycock dared not +venture to make it before her husband came up stairs. + + + + +Chapter II + +Fitting out on the shortest notice--Fortunately for me, this day Mr +Handycock is a bear, and I fare very well--I set off for Portsmouth-- +Behind the coach I meet a man before the mast--He is disguised with +liquor, but is not the only disguise I fall in with in my journey. + + +The next morning Mr Handycock appeared to be in somewhat better humour. +One of the linendrapers who fitted out cadets, &c, "on the shortest +notice," was sent for, and orders given for my equipment, which Mr +Handycock insisted should be ready on the day afterwards, or the +articles would be left on his hands; adding, that my place was already +taken in the Portsmouth coach. + +"Really, sir," observed the man, "I'm afraid--on such very short +notice--" + +"Your card says, 'the shortest notice,'" rejoined Mr Handycock, with the +confidence and authority of a man who is enabled to correct another by +his own assertions. "If you do not choose to undertake the work, another +will." + +This silenced the man, who made his promise, took my measure, and +departed; and soon afterwards Mr Handycock also quitted the house. + +What with my grandfather and the parrot, and Mrs Handycock wondering how +much money her husband had lost, running to the head of the stairs and +talking to the cook, the day passed away pretty well till four o'clock; +when, as before, Mrs Handycock screamed, the cook screamed, the parrot +screamed, and Mr Handycock rapped at the door, and was let in--but not +by me. He ascended the stair swith [sic] three bounds, and coming into +the parlour, cried, "Well, Nancy, my love, how are you?" Then stooping +over her, "Give me a kiss, old girl. I'm as hungry as a hunter. Mr +Simple, how do you do? I hope you have passed the morning agreeably. I +must wash my hands and change my boots, my love; I am not fit to sit +down to table with you in this pickle. Well, Polly, how are you?" + +"I'm glad you're hungry, my dear, I've such a nice dinner for you," +replied the wife, all smiles. "Jemima, be quick and dish up--Mr +Handycock is so hungry." + +"Yes, marm," replied the cook; and Mrs Handycock followed her husband +into his bedroom on the same floor, to assist him at his toilet. + +"By Jove, Nancy, the _bulls_ have been nicely taken in," said Mr +Handycock, as we sat down to dinner. + +"O, I am so glad!" replied his wife, giggling; and so I believe she was, +but why I did not understand. + +"Mr Simple," said he, "will you allow me to offer you a little fish?" + +"If you do not want it all yourself, sir," replied I politely. + +Mrs Handycock frowned and shook her head at me, while her husband helped +me. "My dove, a bit of fish?" + +We both had our share to-day, and I never saw a man more polite than Mr +Handycock. He joked with his wife, asked me to drink wine with him two +or three times, talked about my grandfather; and, in short, we had a +very pleasant evening. + +The next morning all my clothes came home, but Mr Handycock, who still +continued in good humour, said that he would not allow me to travel by +night, that I should sleep there and set off the next morning; which I +did at six o'clock, and before eight I had arrived at the Elephant and +Castle, where we stopped for a quarter of an hour. I was looking at the +painting representing this animal with a castle on its back; and +assuming that of Alnwick, which I had seen, as a fair estimate of the +size and weight of that which he carried, was attempting to enlarge my +ideas so as to comprehend the stupendous bulk of the elephant, when I +observed a crowd assembled at the corner; and asking a gentleman who sat +by me in a plaid cloak, whether there was not something very uncommon to +attract so many people, he replied, "Not very, for it is only a drunken +sailor." + +I rose from my seat, which was on the hinder part of the coach, that I +might see him, for it was a new sight to me, and excited my curiosity, +when to my astonishment, he staggered from the crowd, and swore that +he'd go to Portsmouth. He climbed up by the wheel of the coach, and sat +down by me. I believe that I stared at him very much, for he said to me, +"What are you gaping at, you young sculping? Do you want to catch flies? +or did you never see a chap half-seas-over before?" + +I replied, "That I had never been at sea in my life, but that I was +going." + +"Well, then, you're like a young bear, all your sorrows to come--that's +all, my hearty," replied he. "When you get on board, you'll find +monkey's allowance--more kicks than half-pence. I say, you +pewter-carrier, bring us another pint of ale." + +The waiter of the inn, who was attending the coach, brought out the ale, +half of which the sailor drank, and the other half threw into the +waiter's face, telling him that was his "allowance: and now," said he, +"what's to pay?" The waiter, who looked very angry, but appeared too +much afraid of the sailor to say anything, answered fourpence; and the +sailor pulled out a handful of banknotes, mixed up with gold, silver, +and coppers, and was picking out the money to pay for his beer, when the +coachman, who was impatient, drove off. + +"There's cut and run," cried the sailor, thrusting all the money into +his breeches pocket. "That's what you'll learn to do, my joker, before +you've been two cruises to sea." + +In the meantime the gentleman in the plaid cloak, who was seated by me, +smoked his cigar without saying a word. I commenced a conversation with +him relative to my profession, and asked him whether it was not very +difficult to learn. "Larn," cried the sailor, interrupting us, "no; it +may be difficult for such chaps as me before the mast to larn; but you, +I presume, is a reefer, and they an't got much to larn, 'cause why, they +pipe-clays their weekly accounts, and walks up and down with their hands +in their pockets. You must larn to chaw baccy, drink grog, and call the +cat a beggar, and then you knows all a midshipman's expected to know +nowadays. Ar'n't I right, sir?" said the sailor, appealing to the +gentleman in a plaid cloak. "I axes you, because I see you're a sailor +by the cut of your jib. Beg pardon, sir," continued he, touching his +hat, "hope no offence." + +"I am afraid that you have nearly hit the mark, my good fellow," replied +the gentleman. + +The drunken fellow then entered into conversation with him, stating that +he had been paid off from the _Audacious_ at Portsmouth, and had come up +to London to spend his money with his messmates, but that yesterday he +had discovered that a Jew at Portsmouth had sold him a seal as gold, for +fifteen shillings, which proved to be copper, and that he was going +back to Portsmouth to give the Jew a couple of black eyes for his +rascality, and that when he had done that he was to return to his +messmates, who had promised to drink success to the expedition at the +Cock and Bottle, St Martin's Lane, until he should return. + +The gentleman in the plaid cloak commended him very much for his +resolution; for he said, "that although the journey to and from +Portsmouth would cost twice the value of a gold seal, yet, that in the +end it might be worth a _Jew's Eye_." What he meant I did not +comprehend. + +Whenever the coach stopped, the sailor called for more ale, and always +threw the remainder which he could not drink into the face of the man +who brought it out for him, just as the coach was starting off, and then +tossed the pewter pot on the ground for him to pick up. He became more +tipsy every stage, and the last from Portsmouth, when he pulled out his +money, he could find no silver, so he handed down a note, and desired +the waiter to change it. The waiter crumpled it up and put it into his +pocket, and then returned the sailor the change for a one-pound note; +but the gentleman in the plaid had observed that it was a five-pound +note which the sailor had given, and insisted upon the waiter producing +it, and giving the proper change. The sailor took his money, which the +waiter handed to him, begging pardon for the mistake, although he +coloured up very much at being detected. "I really beg your pardon," +said he again, "it was quite a mistake;" whereupon the sailor threw the +pewter pot at the waiter, saying, "I really beg your pardon, too,"--and +with such force, that it flattened upon the man's head, who fell +senseless on the road. The coachman drove off, and I never heard whether +the man was killed or not. + +After the coach had driven off, the sailor eyed the gentleman in the +plaid cloak for a minute or two, and then said, "When I first looked at +you I took you for some officer in mufti; but now that I see you look so +sharp after the rhino, it's my idea that you're some poor devil of a +Scotchman, mayhap second mate of a marchant vessel--there's half a crown +for your services--I'd give you more if I thought you would spend it." + +The gentleman laughed, and took the half-crown, which I afterwards +observed that he gave to a grey-headed beggar at the bottom of Portsdown +Hill. I inquired of him how soon we should be at Portsmouth; he answered +that we were passing the lines; but I saw no lines, and I was ashamed to +show my ignorance. He asked me what ship I was going to join. I could +not recollect her name, but I told him it was painted on the outside of +my chest, which was coming down by the waggon; all that I could +recollect was that it was a French name. + +"Have you no letter of introduction to the captain?" said he. + +"Yes I have," replied I; and I pulled out my pocket-book in which the +letter was. "Captain Savage, H.M. ship _Diomede_," continued I, reading +to him. + +To my surprise he very coolly proceeded to open the letter, which, when +I perceived what he was doing, occasioned me immediately to snatch the +letter from him, stating my opinion at the same time that it was a +breach of honour, and that in my opinion he was no gentleman. + +"Just as you please, youngster," replied he. "Recollect, you have told +me I am no gentleman." + +He wrapped his plaid around him, and said no more; and I was not a +little pleased at having silenced him by my resolute behaviour. + + + + +Chapter III + +I am made to look very blue at the Blue Posts--Find wild spirits around, +and, soon after, hot spirits within me; at length my spirits overcome me +Call to pay my respects to the Captain, and find that I had had the +pleasure of meeting him before--No sooner out of one scrape than into +another. + + +When we stopped, I inquired of the coachman which was the best inn. He +answered "that it was the Blue Postesses, where the midshipmen leave +their chestesses, call for tea and toastesses, and sometimes forget to +pay for their breakfastesses." He laughed when he said it, and I thought +that he was joking with me; but he pointed out two large blue posts at +the door next the coach-office, and told me that all the midshipmen +resorted to that hotel. He then asked me to remember the coachman, +which, by this time I had found out implied that I was not to forget to +give him a shilling, which I did, and then went into the inn. The +coffee-room was full of midshipmen, and, as I was anxious about my +chest, I inquired of one of them if he knew when the waggon would come +in. + +"Do you expect your mother by it?" replied he. + +"Oh no! but I expect my uniforms--I only wear these bottle-greens until +they come." + +"And pray what ship are you going to join?" + +"The _Die-a-maid_--Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage." + +"The _Diomede_--I say, Robinson, a'n't that the frigate in which the +midshipmen had four dozen apiece for not having pipe-clayed their weekly +accounts on the Saturday?" + +"To be sure it is," replied the other; "why the captain gave a youngster +five dozen the other day for wearing a scarlet watch-riband." + +"He's the greatest Tartar in the service," continued the other; "he +flogged the whole starboard watch the last time that he was on a cruise, +because the ship would only sail nine knots upon a bowline." + +"Oh dear," said I, "then I'm very sorry that I am going to join him." + +"'Pon my soul I pity you: you'll be fagged to death: for there's only +three midshipmen in the ship now--all the rest ran away. Didn't they, +Robinson?" + +"There's only two left now; for poor Matthews died of fatigue. He was +worked all day, and kept watch all night for six weeks, and one morning +he was found dead upon his chest." + +"God bless my soul!" cried I; "and yet, on shore, they say he is such a +kind man to his midshipmen." + +"Yes," replied Robinson, "he spreads that report every where. Now, +observe, when you first call upon him, and report your having come to +join his ship, he'll tell you that he is very happy to see you, and that +he hopes your family are well--then he'll recommend you to go on board +and learn your duty. After that, stand clear. Now, recollect what I have +said, and see if it does not prove true. Come, sit down with us and take +a glass of grog; it will keep your spirits up." + +These midshipmen told me so much about my captain, and the horrid +cruelties which he had practised, that I had some doubts whether I had +not better set off home again. When I asked their opinion, they said, +that if I did, I should be taken up as a deserter and hanged; that my +best plan was to beg his acceptance of a few gallons of rum, for he was +very fond of grog, and that then I might perhaps be in his good graces, +as long as the rum might last. + +I am sorry to state that the midshipmen made me very tipsy that evening. +I don't recollect being put to bed, but I found myself there the next +morning, with a dreadful headache, and a very confused recollection of +what had passed. I was very much shocked at my having so soon forgotten +the injunctions of my parents, and was making vows never to be so +foolish again, when in came the midshipman who had been so kind to me +the night before. "Come, Mr Bottlegreen," he bawled out, alluding, I +suppose, to the colour of my clothes, "rouse and bitt. There's the +captain's coxswain waiting for you below. By the powers, you're in a +pretty scrape for what you did last night!" + +"Did last night!" replied I, astonished. "Why, does the captain know +that I was tipsy?" + +"I think you took devilish good care to let him know it when you were at +the theatre." + +"At the theatre! was I at the theatre?" + +"To be sure you were. You would go, do all we could to prevent you, +though you were as drunk as David's sow. Your captain was there with the +admiral's daughters. You called him a tyrant and snapped your fingers at +him. Why, don't you recollect? You told him that you did not care a fig +for him." + +"Oh dear! oh dear! what shall I do? what shall I do?" cried I: "My +mother cautioned me so about drinking and bad company." + +"Bad company, you whelp--what do you mean by that?" + +"O, I did not particularly refer to you." + +"I should hope not! However, I recommend you, as a friend, to go to the +George Inn as fast as you can, and see your captain, for the longer you +stay away, the worse it will be for you. At all events, it will be +decided whether he receives you or not. It is fortunate for you that you +are not on the ship's books. Come, be quick, the coxswain is gone back." + +"Not on the ship's books," replied I sorrowfully. "Now I recollect there +was a letter from the captain to my father, stating that he had put me +on the books." + +"Upon my honour, I'm sorry--very sorry indeed," replied the midshipman; +--and he quitted the room, looking as grave as if the misfortune had +happened to himself. I got up with a heavy head, and heavier heart, and +as soon as I was dressed, I asked the way to the George Inn. I took my +letter of introduction with me, although I was afraid it would be of +little service. When I arrived, I asked, with a trembling voice, whether +Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage, of H.M. ship _Diomede_, was staying +there. The waiter replied, that he was at breakfast with Captain +Courtney, but that he would take up my name. I gave it him, and in a +minute the waiter returned, and desired that I would walk up. O how my +heart beat!--I never was so frightened--I thought I should have dropped +on the stairs. Twice I attempted to walk into the room, and each time my +legs failed me; at last I wiped the perspiration from my forehead, and +with a desperate effort I went into the room. + +"Mr Simple, I am glad to see you," said a voice. I had held my head +down, for I was afraid to look at him, but the voice was so kind that I +mustered up courage; and, when I did look up, there sat with his uniform +and epaulets, and his sword by his side, the passenger in the plaid +cloak, who wanted to open my letter, and whom I had told to his face, +that he was _no gentleman_. + +I thought I should have died as the other midshipman did upon his chest. +I was just sinking down upon my knees to beg for mercy, when the captain +perceiving my confusion, burst out into a laugh, and said, "So you know +me again, Mr Simple? Well, don't be alarmed, you did your duty in not +permitting me to open the letter, supposing me, as you did, to be some +other person, and you were perfectly right, under that supposition, to +tell me that I was not a gentleman. I give you credit for your conduct. +Now sit down and take some breakfast." + +"Captain Courtney," said he to the other captain, who was at the table, +"this is one of my youngsters just entering the service. We were +passengers yesterday by the same coach." He then told him the +circumstance which occurred, at which they laughed heartily. + +I now recovered my spirits a little--but still there was the affair at +the theatre, and I thought that perhaps he did not recognize me. I was, +however, soon relieved from my anxiety by the other captain inquiring, +"Were you at the theatre last night, Savage?" + +"No; I dined at the admiral's; there's no getting away from those girls, +they are so pleasant." + +"I rather think you are a little--_taken_ in that quarter." + +"No, on my word! I might be if I had time to discover which I liked +best; but my ship is at present my wife, and the only wife I intend to +have until I am laid on the shelf." + +Well, thought I, if he was not at the theatre, it could not have been +him that I insulted. Now if I can only give him the rum, and make +friends with him. + +"Pray, Mr Simple, how are your father and mother?" said the captain. + +"Very well, I thank you, sir, and desire me to present their +compliments." + +"I am obliged to them. Now I think the sooner you go on board and learn +your duty the better." (Just what the midshipman told me--the very +words, thought I--then it's all true--and I began to tremble again.) + +"I have a little advice to offer you," continued the captain. "In the +first place, obey your superior officers without hesitation; it is for +me, not you, to decide whether an order is unjust or not. In the next +place, never swear or drink spirits. The first is immoral and +ungentleman-like, the second is a vile habit which will grow upon you. I +never touch spirit myself, and I expect that my young gentlemen will +refrain from it also. Now you may go, and as soon as your uniforms +arrive, you will repair on board. In the meantime, as I had some little +insight into your character when we travelled together, let me recommend +you not to be too intimate at first sight with those you meet, or you +may be led into indiscretions. Good morning." + +I quitted the room with a low bow, glad to have surmounted so easily +what appeared to be a chaos of difficulty; but my mind was confused with +the testimony of the midshipman, so much at variance with the language +and behaviour of the captain. When I arrived at the Blue Posts, I found +all the midshipmen in the coffee-room, and I repeated to them all that +had passed. When I had finished, they burst out laughing, and said that +they had only been joking with me. "Well," said I to the one who had +called me up in the morning, "you may call it joking, but I call it +lying." + +"Pray, Mr Bottlegreen, do you refer to me?" + +"Yes, I do," replied I. + +"Then, sir, as a gentleman, I demand satisfaction. Slugs in a saw-pit. +Death before dishonour, d----e!" + +"I shall not refuse you," replied I, "although I had rather not fight a +duel; my father cautioned me on the subject, desiring me, if possible, +to avoid it, as it was flying in the face of my Creator; but aware that +I must uphold my character as an officer, he left me to my own +discretion, should I ever be so unfortunate as to be in such a dilemma." + +"Well, we don't want one of your father's sermons at second-hand," +replied the midshipman, (for I had told them that my father was a +clergyman); "the plain question is, will you fight, or will you not?" + +"Could not the affair be arranged otherwise?" interrupted another. "Will +not Mr Bottlegreen retract?" + +"My name is Simple, sir, and not Bottlegreen," replied I; "and as he did +tell a falsehood, I will not retract." + +"Then the affair must go on," said the midshipman. "Robinson, will you +oblige me by acting as my second?" + +"It's an unpleasant business," replied the other; "you are so good a +shot; but as you request it, I shall not refuse. Mr Simple is not, I +believe, provided with a friend." + +"Yes, he is," replied another of the midshipmen. "He is a spunky fellow, +and I'll be his second." + +It was then arranged that we should meet the next morning, with pistols. +I considered that as an officer and a gentleman, I could not well +refuse; but I was very unhappy. Not three days left to my own guidance, +and I had become intoxicated, and was now to fight a duel. I went up +into my room and wrote a long letter to my mother, enclosing a lock of +my hair; and having shed a few tears at the idea of how sorry she would +be if I were killed, I borrowed a bible from the waiter, and read it +during the remainder of the day. + + + + +Chapter IV + +I am taught on a cold morning, before breakfast, how to stand fire, and +thus prove my courage--After breakfast I also prove my gallantry--My +proof meets reproof--Woman at the bottom of all mischief--By one I lose +my liberty, and, by another, my money. + + +When I began to wake the next morning I could not think what it was that +felt like a weight upon my chest, but as I roused and recalled my +scattered thoughts, I remembered that in an hour or two it would be +decided whether I were to exist another day. I prayed fervently, and +made a resolution in my own mind that I would not have the blood of +another upon my conscience, and would fire my pistol up in the air. And +after I had made that resolution, I no longer felt the alarm which I did +before. Before I was dressed, the midshipman who had volunteered to be +my second, came into my room, and informed me that the affair was to be +decided in the garden behind the inn; that my adversary was a very good +shot, and that I must expect to be winged if not drilled. + +"And what is winged and drilled?" inquired I. "I have not only never +fought a duel, but I have not even fired a pistol in my life." + +He explained what he meant, which was, that being winged implied being +shot through the arm or leg, whereas being drilled was to be shot +through the body. "But," continued he, "is it possible that you have +never fought a duel?" + +"No," replied I; "I am not yet fifteen years old." + +"Not fifteen! why I thought you were eighteen at the least." (But I was +very tall and stout for my age, and people generally thought me older +than I actually was.) + +I dressed myself and followed my second into the garden, where I found +all the midshipmen and some of the waiters of the inn. They all seemed +very merry, as if the life of a fellow-creature was of no consequence. +The seconds talked apart for a little while, and then measured the +ground, which was twelve paces; we then took our stations. I believe +that I turned pale, for my second came to my side and whispered that I +must not be frightened. I replied, that I was not frightened, but that I +considered that it was an awful moment. The second to my adversary then +came up and asked me whether I would make an apology, which I refused to +do as before: they handed a pistol to each of us, and my second showed +me how I was to pull the trigger. It was arranged that at the word +given, we were to fire at the same time. I made sure that I should be +wounded, if not killed, and I shut my eyes as I fired my pistol in the +air. I felt my head swim, and thought I was hurt, but fortunately I was +not. The pistols were loaded again, and we fired a second time. The +seconds then interfered, and it was proposed that we should shake hands, +which I was very glad to do, for I considered my life to have been saved +by a miracle. We all went back to the coffee-room, and sat down to +breakfast. They then told me that they all belonged to the same ship +that I did, and that they were glad to see that I could stand fire, for +the captain was a terrible fellow for cutting-out and running under the +enemy's batteries. + +The next day my chest arrived by the waggon, and I threw off my +"bottle-greens" and put on my uniform. I had no cocked hat, or dirk, as +the warehouse people employed by Mr Handycock did not supply those +articles, and it was arranged that I should procure them at Portsmouth. +When I inquired the price, I found that they cost more money than I had +in my pocket, so I tore up the letter I had written to my mother before +the duel, and wrote another asking for a remittance, to purchase my dirk +and cocked hat. I then walked out in my uniform, not a little proud, I +must confess. I was now an officer in his Majesty's service, not very +high in rank, certainly, but still an officer and a gentleman, and I +made a vow that I would support the character, although I was considered +the greatest fool of the family. + +I had arrived opposite a place called Sally Port, when a young lady, +very nicely dressed, looked at me very hard and said, "Well, Reefer, how +are you off for soap?" I was astonished at the question, and more so at +the interest which she seemed to take in my affairs. I answered, "Thank +you, I am very well off; I have four cakes of Windsor, and two bars of +yellow for washing." She laughed at my reply, and asked me whether I +would walk home and take a bit of dinner with her. I was astonished at +this polite offer, which my modesty induced me to ascribe more to my +uniform than to my own merits, and, as I felt no inclination to refuse +the compliment, I said that I should be most happy. I thought I might +venture to offer my arm, which she accepted, and we proceeded up High +Street on our way to her home. + +Just as we passed the admiral's house, I perceived my captain walking +with two of the admiral's daughters. I was not a little proud to let him +see that I had female acquaintances as well as he had, and, as I passed +him with the young lady under my protection, I took off my hat, and made +him a low bow. To my surprise, not only did he not return the salute, +but he looked at me with a very stern countenance. I concluded that he +was a very proud man, and did not wish the admiral's daughters to +suppose that he knew midshipmen by sight; but I had not exactly made up +my mind on the subject, when the captain, having seen the ladies into +the admiral's house, sent one of the messengers after me to desire that +I would immediately come to him at the George Inn, which was nearly +opposite. + +I apologised to the young lady, and promised to return immediately if +she would wait for me; but she replied, if that was my captain, it was +her idea that I should have a confounded wigging and be sent on board. +So, wishing me good-bye, she left me and continued her way home. I could +as little comprehend all this as why the captain looked so black when I +passed him; but it was soon explained when I went up to him in the +parlour at the George Inn. "I am sorry, Mr Simple," said the captain, +when I entered, "that a lad like you should show such early symptoms of +depravity; still more so, that he should not have the grace which even +the most hardened are not wholly destitute of--I mean to practise +immorality in secret, and not degrade themselves and insult their +captain by unblushingly avowing (I may say glorying in) their iniquity, +by exposing it in broad day, and in the most frequented street of the +town." + +"Sir," replied I with astonishment, "O dear! O dear! what have I done?" + +The captain fixed his keen eyes upon me, so that they appeared to pierce +me through, and nail me to the wall. "Do you pretend to say, sir, that +you were not aware of the character of the person with whom you were +walking just now?" + +"No, sir," replied I; "except that she was very kind and good-natured;" +and then I told him how she had addressed me, and what subsequently took +place. + +"And is it possible, Mr Simple, that you are so great a fool?" I replied +that I certainly was considered the greatest fool of our family. "I +should think you were," replied he, drily. He then explained to me who +the person was with whom I was in company, and how any association with +her would inevitably lead to my ruin and disgrace. + +I cried very much, for I was shocked at the narrow escape which I had +had, and mortified at having fallen in his good opinion. He asked me how +I had employed my time since I had been at Portsmouth, and I made an +acknowledgment of having been made tipsy, related all that the +midshipmen had told me, and how I had that morning fought a duel. + +He listened to my whole story very attentively, and I thought that +occasionally there was a smile upon his face, although he bit his lips +to prevent it. When I had finished, he said, "Mr Simple, I can no longer +trust you on shore until you are more experienced in the world. I shall +desire my coxswain not to lose sight of you until you are safe on board +of the frigate. When you have sailed a few months with me, you will then +be able to decide whether I deserve the character which the young +gentlemen have painted, with, I must say, I believe, the sole intention +of practising upon your inexperience." + +Altogether I did not feel sorry when it was over. I saw that the captain +believed what I had stated, and that he was disposed to be kind to me, +although he thought me very silly. The coxswain, in obedience to his +orders, accompanied me to the Blue Posts. I packed up my clothes, paid +my bill, and the porter wheeled my chest down to the Sally Port, where +the boat was waiting. + +"Come, heave a-head, my lads, be smart. The captain says we are to take +the young gentleman on board directly. His liberty's stopped for getting +drunk and running after the Dolly Mops!" + +"I should thank you to be more respectful in your remarks, Mr Coxswain," +said I with displeasure. + +"Mister Coxswain! thanky, sir, for giving me a handle to my name," +replied he. "Come, be smart with your oars, my lads!" + +"La, Bill Freeman," said a young woman on the beach, "what a nice young +gentleman you have there! He looks like a sucking Nelson. I say, my +pretty young officer, could you lend me a shilling?" + +I was so pleased at the woman calling me a young Nelson, that I +immediately complied with her request. "I have not a shilling in my +pocket," said I, "but here is half-a-crown, and you can change it and +bring me back the eighteen pence." + +"Well, you are a nice young man," replied she, taking the half-crown; +"I'll be back directly, my dear." + +The men in the boat laughed, and the coxswain desired them to shove off. + +"No," observed I, "you must wait for my eighteen pence." + +"We shall wait a devilish long while then, I suspect. I know that girl, +and she has a very bad memory." + +"She cannot be so dishonest or ungrateful," replied I. "Coxswain, I +order you to stay--I am an officer." + +"I know you are, sir, about six hours old: well, then, I must go up and +tell the captain that you have another girl in tow, and that you won't +go on board." + +"Oh no, Mr Coxswain, pray don't; shove off as soon as you please, and +never mind the eighteen pence." + +The boat then shoved off, and pulled towards the ship, which lay at +Spithead. + + + + +Chapter V + +I am introduced to the quarter-deck and first lieutenant, who pronounces +me very clever--Trotted below to Mrs Trotter--Connubial bliss in a +cock-pit--Mr Trotter takes me in as a mess-mate--Feel very much +surprised that so many people know that I am the son of--my father. + + +On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to +the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note, +looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another +lieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. As long as it was not +popular, if we had not much education, we at least had the chance that +natural abilities gave us; but now that great people send their sons for +a provision into the navy, we have all the refuse of their families, as +if anything was good enough to make a captain of a man-of-war, who has +occasionally more responsibility on his shoulders, and is placed in +situations requiring more judgment, than any other people in existence. +Here's another of the fools of a family made a present of to the +country--another cub for me to lick into shape. Well, I never saw the +one yet I did not make something of. Where's Mr Simple?" + +"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I had +overheard. + +"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe, and pay +particular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note +that you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in +that way. You're something like the monkeys, who won't speak because +they are afraid they will be made to work. I have looked attentively at +your face, and I see at once that you are _very clever_, and if you do +not prove so in a very short time, why--you had better jump overboard, +that's all. Perfectly understand me. I know that you are a very clever +fellow, and having told you so, don't you pretend to impose upon me, for +it won't do." + +I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was +pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in +my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation. + +"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come on +deck." + +The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologized for being so +dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short, +thick-set man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red +club to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers. + +"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman who +has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock +slung. You must look after him a little." + +"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," replied +Mr Trotter; "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster." +Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another, +and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which +when I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit. + +"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest, +"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck above +this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you as +a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly; +the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind +that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is on +board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be here +directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net of +potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permission +for you to mess with us. You will then be away from the midshipmen, who +are a sad set, and will teach you nothing but what is immoral and +improper, and you will have the advantage of being in good society, for +Mrs Trotter has kept the very best in England. I make you this offer +because I want to oblige the first lieutenant, who appears to take an +interest about you, otherwise I am not very fond of having any intrusion +upon my domestic happiness." + +I replied that I was much obliged to him for his kindness, and that if +it would not put Mrs Trotter to an inconvenience, I should be happy to +accept of his offer; indeed, I thought myself very fortunate in having +met with such a friend. I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived a +pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us, +and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who came down the +ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes. + +"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a very +pretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to Mr +Simple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who, with +your permission, will join our mess." + +"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thought +that nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady, +simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed. + +"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there anything to be +ashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. I +believe I mentioned his desire to join our mess." + +"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange place +for me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have been +accustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than lose +the company of my dear Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniary +matters--" + +"Say no more about it, my love. Domestic happiness is everything, and +will enliven even the gloom of a cock-pit." + +"And yet," continued Mrs Trotter, "when I think of the time when we used +to live in London, and keep our carriage. Have you ever been in London, +Mr Simple?" I answered that I had. + +"Then, probably, you may have been acquainted with, or have heard of, +the Smiths?" + +I replied that the only people that I knew there were a Mr and Mrs +Handycock. + +"Well, if I had known that you were in London, I should have been very +glad to have given you a letter of introduction to the Smiths. They are +quite the topping people of the place." + +"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look after +our dinner?" + +"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces to-day. Mr +Simple, will you excuse me?" and then, with a great deal of flirtation +and laughing about her ankles, and requesting me, as a favour, to turn +my face away, Mrs Trotter ascended the ladder. + +As the reader may wish to know what sort of looking personage she was, I +will take this opportunity to describe her. Her figure was very good, +and at one period of her life I thought her face must have been very +handsome; at the time I was introduced to her, it showed the ravages of +time or hardship very distinctly; in short, she might be termed a faded +beauty, flaunting in her dress, and not very clean in her person. + +"Charming woman, Mrs Trotter, is she not, Mr Simple?" said the master's +mate; to which, of course, I immediately acquiesced. "Now, Mr Simple," +continued he, "there are a few arrangements which I had better mention +while Mrs Trotter is away, for she would be shocked at our talking about +such things. Of course, the style of living which we indulge in is +rather expensive. Mrs Trotter cannot dispense with her tea and her other +little comforts; at the same time I must put you to no extra expense--I +had rather be out of pocket myself. I propose that during the time you +mess with us you shall only pay one guinea per week; and as for entrance +money, why I think I must not charge you more than a couple of guineas. +Have you any money?" + +"Yes," I replied, "I have three guineas and a half left." + +"Well, then, give me the three guineas, and the half-guinea you can +reserve for pocket-money. You must write to your friends immediately for +a further supply." + +I handed him the money, which he put in his pocket. "Your chest," +continued he, "you shall bring down here, for Mrs Trotter will, I am +sure, if I request it, not only keep it in order for you, but see that +your clothes are properly mended. She is a charming woman, Mrs Trotter, +and very fond of young gentlemen. How old are you?" + +I replied that I was fifteen. + +"No more! well, I am glad of that, for Mrs Trotter is very particular +after a certain age. I should recommend you on no account to associate +with the other midshipmen. They are very angry with me, because I would +not permit Mrs Trotter to join their mess, and they are sad +story-tellers." + +"That they certainly are," replied I; but here we were interrupted by +Mrs Trotter coming down with a piece of stick in her hand upon which +were skewered about a dozen small pieces of beef and pork, which she +first laid on a plate, and then began to lay the cloth and prepare for +dinner. + +"Mr Simple is only fifteen, my dear," observed Mr Trotter. + +"Dear me!" replied Mrs Trotter, "why, how tall he is! He is quite as +tall for his age as young Lord Foutretown, whom you used to take out +with you in the _chay_. Do you know Lord Foutretown, Mr Simple?" + +"No, I do not, ma'am," replied I; but wishing to let them know that I +was well connected, I continued, "but I dare say that my grandfather, +Lord Privilege, does." + +"God bless me! is Lord Privilege your grandfather? Well, I thought I saw +a likeness somewhere. Don't you recollect Lord Privilege, my dear +Trotter, that we met at Lady Scamp's--an elderly person? It's very +ungrateful of you not to recollect him, for he sent you a very fine +haunch of venison." + +"Privilege--bless me, yes. Oh, yes! an old gentleman, is he not?" said +Mr Trotter, appealing to me. + +"Yes, sir," replied I, quite delighted to find myself among those who +were acquainted with my family. + +"Well, then, Mr Simple," said Mrs Trotter, "since we have the pleasure +of being acquainted with your family, I shall now take you under my own +charge, and I shall be so fond of you that Trotter shall become quite +jealous," added she, laughing. "We have but a poor dinner to-day, for +the bumboat woman disappointed me. I particularly requested her to bring +me off a leg of lamb, but she says that there was none in the market. It +is rather early for it, that's true; but Trotter is very nice in his +eating. Now, let us sit down to dinner." + +I felt very sick, indeed, and could eat nothing. Our dinner consisted of +the pieces of beef and pork, the potatoes, and a baked pudding in a tin +dish. Mr Trotter went up to serve the spirits out to the ship's company, +and returned with a bottle of rum. + +"Have you got Mr Simple's allowance, my love?" inquired Mrs Trotter. + +"Yes; he is victualled to-day, as he came on board before twelve +o'clock. Do you drink spirits, Mr Simple?" + +"No, I thank you," replied I; for I remembered the captain's injunction. + +"Taking, as I do, such an interest in your welfare, I must earnestly +recommend you to abstain from them," said Mr Trotter. "It is a very bad +habit, and once acquired, not easy to be left off. I am obliged to drink +them, that I may not check the perspiration after working in the hold; I +have, nevertheless, a natural abhorrence of them; but my champagne and +claret days are gone by, and I must submit to circumstances." + +"My poor Trotter!" said the lady. + +"Well," continued he, "it's a poor heart that never rejoiceth." He then +poured out half a tumbler of rum, and filled the glass up with water. + +"My love, will you taste it?" + +"Now, Trotter, you know that I never touch it, except when the water is +so bad that I must have the taste taken away. How is the water to-day?" + +"As usual, my dear, not drinkable." After much persuasion Mrs Trotter +agreed to sip a little out of his glass. I thought that she took it +pretty often, considering that she did not like it, but I felt so unwell +that I was obliged to go on the main-deck. There I was met by a +midshipman whom I had not seen before. He looked very earnestly in my +face, and then asked my name. "Simple," said he. "What, are you the son +of old Simple?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I, astonished that so many should know my family. + +"Well, I thought so by the likeness. And how is your father?" + +"Very well, I thank you, sir." + +"When you write to him, make my compliments, and tell him that I desired +to be particularly remembered to him;" and he walked forward, but as he +forgot to mention his own name, I could not do it. + +I went to bed very tired; Mr Trotter had my hammock hung up in the +cock-pit, separated by a canvas-screen from the cot in which he slept +with his wife. I thought this very odd, but they told me it was the +general custom on board ship, although Mrs Trotter's delicacy was very +much shocked by it. I was very sick, but Mrs Trotter was very kind. When +I was in bed she kissed me, and wished me good night, and very soon +afterwards I fell fast asleep. + + + + +Chapter VI + +Puzzled with very common words--Mrs Trotter takes care of my wardrobe--A +matrimonial duet, ending _con strepito_. + + +I awoke the next morning at daylight with a noise over my head which +sounded like thunder; I found it proceeded from holystoning and washing +down the main-deck. I was very much refreshed nevertheless, and did not +feel the least sick or giddy. Mr Trotter, who had been up at four +o'clock, came down, and directed one of the marines to fetch me some +water. I washed myself on my chest, and then went on the main-deck, +which they were swabbing dry. Standing by the sentry at the cabin-door, +I met one of the midshipmen with whom I had been in company at the Blue +Posts. + +"So, Master Simple, old Trotter and his faggot of a wife have got hold +of you--have they?" said he. I replied, that I did not know the meaning +of faggot, but that I considered Mrs Trotter a very charming woman. At +which he burst into a loud laugh. "Well," said he, "I'll just give you a +caution. Take care, or they'll make a clean sweep. Has Mrs Trotter shown +you her ankle yet?" + +"Yes," I replied, "and a very pretty one it is." + +"Ah! she's at her old tricks. You had much better have joined our mess +at once. You're not the first greenhorn that they have plucked. Well," +said he, as he walked away, "keep the key of your own chest--that's +all." + +But as Mr Trotter had warned me that the midshipmen would abuse them, I +paid very little attention to what he said. When he left me I went on +the quarter-deck. All the sailors were busy at work, and the first +lieutenant cried out to the gunner, "Now, Mr Dispart, if you are ready, +we'll breech these guns." + +"Now, my lads," said the first lieutenant, "we must slue (the part that +breeches cover) more forward." As I never heard of a gun having +breeches, I was very anxious to see what was going on, and went up close +to the first lieutenant, who said to me, "Youngster, hand me that +_monkey's tail_." I saw nothing like a _monkeys tail_, but I was so +frightened that I snatched up the first thing that I saw, which was a +short bar of iron, and it so happened that it was the very article which +he wanted. When I gave it to him, the first lieutenant looked at me, and +said, "So you know what a monkey's tail is already, do you? Now don't +you ever sham stupid after that." + +Thought I to myself, I'm very lucky, but if that's a monkey's tail it's +a very stiff one! + +I resolved to learn the names of everything as fast as I could, that I +might be prepared; so I listened attentively to what was said; but I +soon became quite confused, and despaired of remembering anything. + +"How is this to be finished off, sir?" inquired a sailor of the +boatswain. + +"Why, I beg leave to hint to you, sir, in the most delicate manner in +the world," replied the boatswain, "that it must be with a +_double-wall_--and be d----d to you--don't you know that yet? Captain +of the foretop," said he, "up on your _horses_, and take your _stirrups_ +up three inches."--"Ay, ay, sir." (I looked and looked, but I could see +no horses.) + +"Mr Chucks," said the first lieutenant to the boatswain, "what blocks +have we below--not on charge?" + +"Let me see, sir, I've one _sister_, t'other we split in half the other +day, and I think I have a couple of _monkeys_ down in the store-room.--I +say, you Smith, pass that brace through the _bull's eye,_ and take the +_sheepshank_ out before you come down." + +And then he asked the first lieutenant whether something should not be +fitted with a _mouse_ or only a _Turk's head_--told him the _goose-neck_ +must be spread out by the armourer as soon as the forge was up. In +short, what with _dead eyes_ and _shrouds, cats_ and _cat-blocks, +dolphins_ and _dolphin-strikers, whips_ and _puddings_, I was so puzzled +with what I heard, that I was about to leave the deck in absolute +despair. + +"And, Mr Chucks, recollect this afternoon that you _bleed_ all the +_buoys_." + +Bleed the boys, thought I, what can that be for? at all events, the +surgeon appears to be the proper person to perform that operation. + +This last incomprehensible remark drove me off the deck, and I retreated +to the cock-pit, where I found Mrs Trotter. "Oh, my dear!" said she, "I +am glad you are come, as I wish to put your clothes in order. Have you a +list of them--where is your key?" I replied that I had not a list, and I +handed her the key, although I did not forget the caution of the +midshipman; yet I considered that there could be no harm in her looking +over my clothes when I was present. She unlocked my chest, and pulled +everything out, and then commenced telling me what were likely to be +useful and what were not. + +"Now these worsted stockings," she said, "will be very comfortable in +cold weather, and in the summer time these brown cotton socks will be +delightfully cool, and you have enough of each to last you till you +outgrow them; but as for these fine cotton stockings, they are of no +use--only catch the dirt when the decks are swept, and always look +untidy. I wonder how they could be so foolish as to send them; nobody +wears them on board ship nowadays. They are only fit for women--I wonder +if they would fit me." + +She turned her chair away, and put on one of my stockings, laughing the +whole of the time. Then she turned round to me and showed me how nicely +they fitted her. "Bless you, Mr Simple, it's well that Trotter is in the +hold, he'd be so jealous--do you know what these stockings cost? They +are of no use to you, and they fit me. I will speak to Trotter, and take +them off your hands." I replied, that I could not think of selling them, +and as they were of no use to me and fitted her, I begged that she would +accept of the dozen pairs. At first she positively refused, but as I +pressed her, she at last consented, and I was very happy to give them to +her as she was very kind to me, and I thought, with her husband, that +she was a very charming woman. + +We had beef-steaks and onions for dinner that day, but I could not bear +the smell of the onions. Mr Trotter came down very cross, because the +first lieutenant had found fault with him. He swore that he would cut +the service--that he had only remained to oblige the captain, who said +that he would sooner part with his right arm, and that he would demand +satisfaction of the first lieutenant as soon as he could obtain his +discharge. Mrs Trotter did all she could to pacify him, reminded him +that he had the protection of Lord this and Sir Thomas that, who would +see him righted; but in vain. The first lieutenant had told him, he +said, that he was not worth his salt, and blood only could wipe away the +insult. He drank glass of grog after glass of grog, and at each glass +became more violent, and Mrs Trotter drank also, I observed, a great +deal more than I thought she ought to have done; but she whispered to +me, that she drank it that Trotter might not, as he would certainly be +tipsy. I thought this very devoted on her part; but they sat so late +that I went to bed and left them--he still drinking and vowing vengeance +against the first lieutenant. I had not been asleep above two or three +hours when I was awakened by a great noise and quarrelling, and I +discovered that Mr Trotter was drunk and beating his wife. Very much +shocked that such a charming woman should be beaten and ill-used, I +scrambled out of my hammock to see if I could be of any assistance, but +it was dark, although they scuffled as much as before. I asked the +marine, who was sentry at the gun-room door above, to bring his lantern, +and was very much shocked at his replying that I had better go to bed +and let them fight it out. + +Shortly afterwards Mrs Trotter, who had not taken off her clothes, came +from behind the screen. I perceived at once that the poor woman could +hardly stand; she reeled to my chest, where she sat down and cried. I +pulled on my clothes as fast as I could, and then went up to her to +console her, but she could not speak intelligibly. After attempting in +vain to comfort her, she made me no answer, but staggered to my hammock, +and, after several attempts, succeeded in getting into it. I cannot say +that I much liked that, but what could I do? So I finished dressing +myself, and went up on the quarter-deck. + +The midshipman who had the watch was the one who had cautioned me +against the Trotters; he was very friendly to me. "Well, Simple," said +he, "what brings you on deck?" I told him how ill Mr Trotter had behaved +to his wife, and how she had turned into my hammock. + +"The cursed drunken old catamaran," cried he; "I'll go and cut her down +by the head;" but I requested he would not, as she was a lady. + +"A lady!" replied he; "yes, there's plenty of ladies of her +description;" and then he informed me that she had many years ago been +the mistress of a man of fortune who kept a carriage for her; but that +he grew tired of her, and had given Trotter £200 to marry her, and that +now they did nothing but get drunk together and fight with each other. + +I was very much annoyed to hear all this; but as I perceived that Mrs +Trotter was not sober, I began to think that what the midshipman said +was true. "I hope," added he, "that she has not had time to wheedle you +out of any of your clothes." + +I told him that I had given her a dozen pairs of stockings, and had paid +Mr Trotter three guineas for my mess. "This must be looked to," replied +he; "I shall speak to the first lieutenant to-morrow. In the mean time, +I shall get your hammock for you. Quarter-master, keep a good look-out." +He then went below, and I followed him, to see what he would do. He went +to my hammock and lowered it down at one end, so that Mrs Trotter lay +with her head on the deck in a very uncomfortable position. To my +astonishment, she swore at him in a dreadful manner, but refused to turn +out. He was abusing her, and shaking her in the hammock, when Mr +Trotter, who had been roused at the noise, rushed from behind the +screen. "You villain! what are you doing with my wife?" cried he, +pommelling at him as well as he could, for he was so tipsy that he could +hardly stand. + +I thought the midshipman able to take care of himself, and did not wish +to interfere; so I remained above, looking on--the sentry standing by me +with his lantern over the coombings of the hatchway to give light to the +midshipman, and to witness the fray. Mr Trotter was soon knocked down, +when all of a sudden Mrs Trotter jumped up from the hammock, and caught +the midshipman by the hair, and pulled at him. Then the sentry thought +right to interfere; he called out for the master-at-arms, and went down +himself to help the midshipman, who was faring badly between the two. +But Mrs Trotter snatched the lantern out of his hand and smashed it all +to pieces, and then we were all left in darkness, and I could not see +what took place, although the scuffling continued. Such was the posture +of affairs when the master-at-arms came up with his light. The +midshipman and sentry went up the ladder, and Mr and Mrs Trotter +continued beating each other. To this, none of them paid any attention, +saying, as the sentry had said before, "Let them fight it out." + +After they had fought some time, they retired behind the screen, and I +followed the advice of the midshipman, and got into my hammock, which +the master-at-arms hung up again for me. I heard Mr and Mrs Trotter both +crying and kissing each other. "Cruel, cruel, Mr Trotter," said she, +blubbering. + +"My life, my love, I was so jealous!" replied he. + +"D--n and blast your jealousy," replied the lady; "I've two nice black +eyes for the galley to-morrow." After about an hour of kissing and +scolding, they both fell asleep again. + +The next morning before breakfast, the midshipman reported to the first +lieutenant the conduct of Mr Trotter and his wife. I was sent for and +obliged to acknowledge that it was all true. He sent for Mr Trotter, who +replied that he was not well, and could not come on deck. Upon which the +first lieutenant ordered the sergeant of marines to bring him up +directly. Mr Trotter made his appearance, with one eye closed, and his +face very much scratched. + +"Did not I desire you, sir," said the first lieutenant, "to introduce +this young gentleman into the midshipmen's berth? instead of which you +have introduced him to that disgraceful wife of yours, and have swindled +him out of his property. I order you immediately to return the three +guineas which you received as mess-money, and also that your wife give +back the stockings which she cajoled him out of." + +But then I interposed, and told the first lieutenant that the stockings +had been a free gift on my part and that, although I had been very +foolish, yet that I considered that I could not in honour demand them +back again. + +"Well, youngster," replied the first lieutenant, "perhaps your ideas are +correct, and if you wish it, I will not enforce that part of my order; +but," continued he to Mr Trotter, "I desire, sir, that your wife leave +the ship immediately; and I trust that when I have reported your conduct +to the captain, he will serve you in the same manner. In the meantime, +you will consider yourself under an arrest for drunkenness." + + + + +Chapter VII + +Scandalum magnatum clearly proved--I prove to the captain that I +consider him a gentleman, although I had told him the contrary, and I +prove to the midshipmen that I am a gentleman myself--They prove their +gratitude by practising upon me, because practice makes perfect. + + +The captain came on board about twelve o'clock, and ordered the +discharge of Mr Trotter to be made out, as soon as the first lieutenant +had reported what had occurred. He then sent for all the midshipmen on +the quarter-deck. + +"Gentlemen," said the captain to them, with a stern countenance, "I feel +very much indebted to some of you for the character which you have been +pleased to give of me to Mr Simple. I must now request that you will +answer a few questions which I am about to put in his presence. Did I +ever flog the whole starboard watch because the ship would only sail +nine knots on a bowline?" + +"No, sir, no!" replied they all, very much frightened. + +"Did I ever give a midshipman four dozen for not having his weekly +accounts pipe-clayed; or another five dozen for wearing a scarlet watch +ribbon?" + +"No, sir," replied they all together. + +"Did any midshipman ever die on his chest from fatigue?" + +They again replied in the negative. + +"Then, gentlemen, you will oblige me by stating which of you thought +proper to assert these falsehoods in a public coffee-room; and further, +which of you obliged this youngster to risk his life in a duel?" + +They were all silent. + +"Will you answer me, gentlemen?" + +"With respect to the duel, sir," replied the midshipman who had fought +me, "I _heard_ say, that the pistols were only charged with powder. It +was a joke." + +"Well, sir, we'll allow that the duel was only a joke, (and I hope and +trust that your report is correct); is the reputation of your captain +only a joke, allow me to ask? I request to know who of you dared to +propagate such injurious slander?" (Here there was a dead pause.) "Well, +then, gentlemen, since you will not confess yourselves, I must refer to +my authority. Mr Simple, have the goodness to point out the person or +persons who gave you the information." + +But I thought this would not be fair; and as they had all treated me +very kindly after the duel, I resolved not to tell; so I answered, "If +you please, sir, I consider that I told you all that in confidence." + +"Confidence, sir!" replied the captain; "who ever heard of confidence +between a post-captain and a midshipman?" + +"No, sir," replied I, "not between a post-captain and a midshipman, but +between two gentlemen." + +The first lieutenant, who stood by the captain, put his hand before his +face to hide a laugh. "He may be a fool, sir," observed he to the +captain, aside; "but I can assure you he is a very straight, forward +one." + +The captain bit his lip, and then turning to the midshipmen, said, "You +may thank Mr Simple, gentlemen, that I do not press this matter further. +I do believe that you were not serious when you calumniated me; but +recollect, that what is said in joke is too often repeated in earnest. I +trust that Mr Simple's conduct will have its effect, and that you leave +off practising upon him, who has saved you from a very severe +punishment." + +When the midshipmen went down below, they all shook hands with me, and +said that I was a good fellow for not peaching; but, as for the advice +of the captain that they should not practise upon me, as he termed it, +they forgot that, for they commenced again immediately, and never left +off until they found that I was not to be deceived any longer. + +I had not been ten minutes in the berth, before they began their remarks +upon me. One said that I looked like a hardy fellow, and asked me +whether I could not bear a great deal of sleep. + +I replied that I could, I dare say, if it was necessary for the good of +the service; at which they laughed, and I supposed that I had said a +good thing. + +"Why here's Tomkins," said the midshipman; "he'll show you how to +perform that part of your duty. He inherits it from his father, who was +a marine officer. He can snore for fourteen hours on a stretch without +once turning round in his hammock, and finish his nap on the chest +during the whole of the day, except meal-times." + +But Tomkins defended himself, by saying, that "some people were very +quick in doing things, and others were very slow; that he was one of the +slow ones, and that he did not in reality obtain more refreshment from +his long naps than other people did in short ones, because he slept much +slower than they did." + +This ingenious argument was, however, overruled _nem. con._, as it was +proved that he ate pudding faster than any one in the mess. + +The postman came on board with the letters, and put his head into the +midshipman's berth. I was very anxious to have one from home, but I was +disappointed. Some had letters and some had not. Those who had not, +declared that their parents were very undutiful, and that they would cut +them off with a shilling; and those who had letters, after they had read +them, offered them for sale to the others, usually at half-price. I +could not imagine why they sold, or why the others bought them; but they +did do so; and one that was full of good advice was sold three times, +from which circumstance I was inclined to form a better opinion of the +morals of my companions. The lowest-priced letters sold, were those +written by sisters. I was offered one for a penny, but I declined +buying, as I had plenty of sisters of my own. Directly I made that +observation, they immediately inquired all their names and ages, and +whether they were pretty or not. When I had informed them, they +quarrelled to whom they should belong. One would have Lucy, and another +took Mary; but there was a great dispute about Ellen, as I had said that +she was the prettiest of the whole. At last they agreed to put her up to +auction, and she was knocked down to a master's mate of the name of +O'Brien, who bid seventeen shillings and a bottle of rum. They requested +that I would write home to give their love to my sisters, and tell them +how they had been disposed of, which I thought very strange; but I ought +to have been flattered at the price bid for Ellen, as I repeatedly have +since been witness to a very pretty sister being sold for a glass of +grog. + +I mentioned the reason why I was so anxious for a letter, viz., because +I wanted to buy my dirk and cocked hat; upon which they told me that +there was no occasion for my spending my money, as, by the regulations +of the service, the purser's steward served them out to all the officers +who applied for them. As I knew where the purser's steward's room was, +having seen it when down in the cock-pit with the Trotters, I went down +immediately. "Mr Purser's Steward," said I, "let me have a cocked hat +and a dirk immediately." + +"Very good, sir," replied he, and he wrote an order upon a slip of +paper, which he handed to me. "There is the order for it, sir; but the +cocked hats are kept in the chest up in the main-top; and as for the +dirk, you must apply to the butcher, who has them under his charge." + +I went up with the order, and thought I would first apply for the dirk; +so I inquired for the butcher, whom I found sitting in the sheep-pen +with the sheep, mending his trousers. In reply to my demand, he told me +that he had not the key of the store-room, which was under the charge of +one of the corporals of marines. + +I inquired who, and he said, "Cheeks [1] the marine." + +I went everywhere about the ship, inquiring for Cheeks the marine, but +could not find him. Some said that they believed he was in the fore-top, +standing sentry over the wind, that it might not change; others, that he +was in the galley, to prevent the midshipmen from soaking their biscuit +in the captain's dripping-pan. At last, I inquired of some of the women +who were standing between the guns on the main-deck, and one of them +answered that it was no use looking for him among them, as they all had +husbands, and Cheeks was a _widows man._[2] + +As I could not find the marine, I thought I might as well go for my +cocked hat, and get my dirk afterwards. I did not much like going up the +rigging, because I was afraid of turning giddy, and if I fell overboard +I could not swim; but one of the midshipmen offered to accompany me, +stating that I need not be afraid, if I fell overboard, of sinking to +the bottom, as if I was giddy, my head, at all events, _would swim_; so +I determined to venture. I climbed up very near to the main-top, but not +without missing the little ropes very often, and grazing the skin of my +shins. Then I came to large ropes stretched out from the mast, so that +you must climb them with your head backwards. The midshipman told me +these were called the cat-harpings, because they were so difficult to +climb, that a cat would expostulate if ordered to go out by them. I was +afraid to venture, and then he proposed that I should go through +lubber's hole, which he said had been made for people like me. I agreed +to attempt it, as it appeared more easy, and at last arrived, quite out +of breath, and very happy to find myself in the main-top. + +The captain of the main-top was there with two other sailors. The +midshipman introduced me very politely:--"Mr Jenkins--Mr Simple, +midshipman,--Mr Simple, Mr Jenkins, captain of the main-top. Mr Jenkins, +Mr Simple has come up with an order for a cocked hat." The captain of +the top replied that he was very sorry that he had not one in store, but +the last had been served out to the captain's monkey. This was very +provoking. The captain of the top then asked me if I was ready with my +_footing_. + +I replied, "Not very, for I had lost it two or three times when coming +up." He laughed and replied, that I should lose it altogether before I +went down; and that I must _hand_ it out. "_Hand_ out my _footing_!" +said I, puzzled, and appealing to the midshipman; "what does he mean?" +"He means that you must fork out a seven-shilling bit." I was just as +wise as ever, and stared very much; when Mr Jenkins desired the other +men to get half a dozen _foxes_ and make a _spread eagle_ of me, unless +he had his parkisite. I never should have found out what it all meant, +had not the midshipman, who laughed till he cried, at last informed me +that it was the custom to give the men something to drink the first time +that I came aloft, and that if I did not, they would tie me up to the +rigging. + +Having no money in my pocket, I promised to pay them as soon as I went +below; but Mr Jenkins would not trust me. I then became very angry, and +inquired of him "if he doubted my honour." He replied, "Not in the +least, but that he must have the seven shillings before I went below." +"Why, sir," said I, "do you know whom you are speaking to? I am an +officer and a gentleman. Do you know who my grandfather is?" + +"O yes," replied he, "very well." + +"Then, who is he, sir?" replied I very angrily. + +"Who is he! why he's the _Lord knows who_." + +"No," replied I, "that's not his name; he is Lord Privilege." (I was +very much surprised that he knew that my grandfather was a lord.) "And +do you suppose," continued I, "that I would forfeit the honour of my +family for a paltry seven shillings?" + +This observation of mine, and a promise on the part of the midshipman, +who said he would be bail for me, satisfied Mr Jenkins, and he allowed +me to go down the rigging. I went to my chest, and paid the seven +shillings to one of the top-men who followed me, and then went up on the +main-deck, to learn as much as I could of my profession. I asked a great +many questions of the midshipmen relative to the guns, and they crowded +round me to answer them. One told me they were called the frigate's +_teeth_, because they stopped the Frenchman's _jaw._ Another midshipman +said that he had been so often in action, that he was called the +_Fire-eater_. I asked him how it was that he escaped being killed. He +replied that he always made it a rule, upon the first cannon-ball coming +through the ship's side, to put his head into the hole which it had +made; as, by a calculation made by Professor Innman, the odds were +32,647, and some decimals to boot, that another ball would not come in +at the same hole. That's what I never should have thought of. + +FOOTNOTES: +[1] This celebrated personage is the prototype of Mr Nobody on board of +a man-of-war. + +[B] Widows' men are imaginary sailors, borne on the books, and receiving +pay and prize-money, which is appropriated to Greenwich Hospital. + + + + +Chapter VIII + +My messmates show me the folly of running in debt--Duty carried on +politely--I become acquainted with some gentlemen of the home +department--The episode of Sholto M'Foy. + + +Now that I have been on board about a month, I find that my life is not +disagreeable. I don't smell the pitch and tar, and I can get into my +hammock without tumbling out on the other side. My messmates are +good-tempered, although they laugh at me very much; but I must say that +they are not very nice in their ideas of honour They appear to consider +that to take you in is a capital joke; and that because they laugh at +the time that they are cheating you, it then becomes no cheating at all. +Now I cannot think otherwise than that cheating is cheating, and that a +person is not a bit more honest, because he laughs at you in the +bargain. A few days after I came on board, I purchased some tarts of the +bumboat woman, as she is called; I wished to pay for them, but she had +no change, and very civilly told me she would trust me. She produced a +narrow book, and said that she would open an account with me, and I +could pay her when I thought proper. To this arrangement I had no +objection, and I sent up for different things until I thought that my +account must have amounted to eleven or twelve shillings. As I promised +my father that I never would run in debt, I considered that it was then +time that it should be settled. When I asked for it, what was my +surprise to find that it amounted to £2 14s. 6d. I declared that it was +impossible, and requested that she would allow me to look at the items, +when I found that I was booked for at least three or four dozen tarts +every day, ordered by the young gentlemen, "to be put down to Mr +Simple's account." I was very much shocked, not only at the sum of money +which I had to pay, but also at the want of honesty on the part of my +messmates; but when I complained of it in the berth, they all laughed at +me. + +At last one of them said, "Peter, tell the truth; did not your father +caution you not to run in debt?" + +"Yes, he did," replied I. + +"I know that very well," replied he; "all fathers do the same when their +sons leave them; it's a matter of course. Now observe, Peter; it is out +of regard to you, that your messmates have been eating tarts at your +expense You disobeyed your father's injunctions before you had been a +month from home; and it is to give you a lesson that may be useful in +after-life, that they have considered it their duty to order the tarts. +I trust that it will not be thrown away upon you. Go to the woman, pay +your bill, and never run up another." + +"That I certainly shall not," replied I; but as I could not prove who +ordered the tarts, and did not think it fair that the woman should lose +her money, I went up and paid the bill with a determination never to +open an account with anybody again. + +But this left my pockets quite empty, so I wrote to my father, stating +the whole transaction, and the consequent state of my finances. My +father, in his answer, observed that whatever might have been their +motives, my messmates had done me a friendly act; and that as I had lost +my money by my own carelessness, I must not expect that he would allow +me any more pocket-money. But my mother, who added a postscript to his +letter, slipped in a five-pound note, and I do believe that it was with +my father's sanction, although he pretended to be very angry at my +forgetting his injunctions. This timely relief made me quite comfortable +again. What a pleasure it is to receive a letter from one's friends when +far away, especially when there is same money in it! + +A few days before this, Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, ordered me to +put on my side-arms to go away on duty. I replied that I had neither +dirk nor cocked hat, although I had applied for them. He laughed at my +story, and sent me on shore with the master, who bought them, and the +first lieutenant sent up the bill to my father, who paid it, and wrote +to thank him for his trouble. That morning, the first lieutenant said to +me, "Now, Mr Simple, we'll take the shine off that cocked hat and dirk +of yours. You will go in the boat with Mr O'Brien, and take care that +none of the men slip away from it, and get drunk at the tap." + +This was the first time that I had ever been sent away on duty, and I +was very proud of being an officer in charge. I put on my full uniform, +and was ready at the gangway a quarter of an hour before the men were +piped away. We were ordered to the dockyard to draw sea stores. When we +arrived there, I was quite astonished at the piles of timber, the ranges +of storehouses, and the immense anchors which lay on the wharf. There +was such a bustle, every body appeared to be so busy, that I wanted to +look every way at once. Close to where the boat landed, they were +hauling a large frigate out of what they called the basin; and I was so +interested with the sight, that I am sorry to say I quite forgot all +about the boat's crew, and my orders to look after them. What surprised +me most was, that although the men employed appeared to be sailors, +their language was very different from what I had been lately accustomed +to on board of the frigate. Instead of damning and swearing, everybody +was so polite. "Oblige me with a pull of the starboard bow hawser, Mr +Jones."--"Ease off the larboard hawser, Mr Jenkins, if you please."-- +"Side her over, gentlemen, side her over."--"My compliments to Mr +Tompkins, and request that he will cast off the quarter-check."--"Side +her over, gentlemen, side her over, if you please."--"In the boat there, +pull to Mr Simmons, and beg he'll do me the favour to check her as she +swings. What's the matter, Mr Johnson?"--"Vy, there's one of them ere +midshipmites has thrown a red hot tater out of the stern-port, and hit +our officer in the eye."--"Report him to the commissioner, Mr Wiggins; +and oblige me by under-running the guess-warp. Tell Mr Simkins, with my +compliments, to coil away upon the jetty. Side her over, side her over, +gentlemen, if you please." + +I asked of a bystander who these people were, and he told me that they +were dockyard mateys. I certainly thought that it appeared to be quite +as easy to say "If you please," as "D----n your eyes," and that it +sounded much more agreeable. + +During the time that I was looking at the frigate being hauled out, two +of the men belonging to the boat slipped away, and on my return they +were not to be seen. I was very much frightened, for I knew that I had +neglected my duty, and that on the first occasion on which I had been +intrusted with a responsible service. What to do I did not know I ran up +and down every part of the dockyard until I was quite out of breath, +asking everybody I met whether they had seen my two men. Many of them +said that they had seen plenty of men, but did not exactly know mine; +some laughed, and called me a greenhorn. At last I met a midshipman, who +told me that he had seen two men answering to my description on the roof +of the coach starting for London, and that I must be quick if I wished +to catch them; but he would not stop to answer any more questions. I +continued walking about the yard until I met twenty or thirty men with +grey jackets and breeches, to whom I applied for information: they told +me that they had seen two sailors skulking behind the piles of timber. +They crowded round me, and appeared very anxious to assist me, when they +were summoned away to carry down a cable. I observed that they all had +numbers on their jackets, and either one or two bright iron rings on +their legs. I could not help inquiring, although I was in such a hurry, +why the rings were worn. One of them replied that they were orders of +merit, given to them for their good behaviour. + +I was proceeding on very disconsolately, when, as I turned a corner, to +my great delight, I met my two men, who touched their hats and said that +they had been looking for me. I did not believe that they told the +truth, but I was so glad to recover them that I did not scold, but went +with them down to the boat, which had been waiting some time for us. +O'Brien, the master's mate, called me a young sculping,[1] a word I +never heard before. When we arrived on board, the first lieutenant asked +O'Brien why he had remained so long. He answered that two of the men had +left the boat, but that I had found them. The first lieutenant appeared +to be pleased with me, observing, as he had said before, that I was no +fool, and I went down below, overjoyed at my good fortune, and very much +obliged to O'Brien for not telling the whole truth. After I had taken +off my dirk and cocked hat, I felt for my pocket-handkerchief, and found +that it was not in my pocket, having in all probability been taken out +by the men in grey jackets, whom, in conversation with my messmates, I +discovered to be convicts condemned to hard labour for stealing and +picking pockets. + +A day or two afterwards, we had a new messmate of the name of M'Foy. I +was on the quarter-deck when he came on board and presented a letter to +the captain, inquiring first if his name was "Captain Sauvage." He was a +florid young man, nearly six feet high, with sandy hair, yet very +good-looking. As his career in the service was very short, I will tell +at once, what I did not find out till some time afterwards. The captain +had agreed to receive him to oblige a brother officer, who had retired +from the service, and lived in the Highlands of Scotland. The first +notice which the captain had of the arrival of Mr M'Foy, was from a +letter written to him by the young man's uncle. This amused him so much, +that he gave it to the first lieutenant to read: it ran as follows:-- + + "Glasgow, April 25, 1--- + + "Sir,--Our much esteemed and mutual friend, Captain M'Alpine, having + communicated by letter, dated the 14th inst., your kind intentions + relative to my nephew Sholto M'Foy, (for which you will be pleased to + accept my best thanks), I write to acquaint you that he is now on his + way to join your ship, the _Diomede_, and will arrive, God + willing, twenty-six hours after the receipt of this letter. + + "As I have been given to understand by those who have some + acquaintance with the service of the king, that his equipment as an + officer will be somewhat expensive, I have considered it but fair to + ease your mind as to any responsibility on that score, and have + therefore enclosed the half of a Bank of England note for ten pounds + sterling, No. 3742, the other half of which will be duly forwarded in + a frank promised to me the day after to-morrow. I beg you will make + the necessary purchases, and apply the balance, should there be any, + to his mess account, or any other expenses which you may consider + warrantable or justifiable. + + "It is at the same time proper to inform you, that Sholto had ten + shillings in his pocket at the time of his leaving Glasgow; the + satisfactory expenditure of which I have no doubt you will inquire + into, as it is a large sum to be placed at the discretion of a youth + only fourteen years and five months old. I mention his age, as Sholto + is so tall that you might be deceived by his appearance, and be + induced to trust to his prudence in affairs of this serious nature. + Should he at any time require further assistance beyond his pay, which + I am told is extremely handsome to all king's officers, I beg you to + consider that any draught of yours, at ten days' sight, to the amount + of five pounds sterling English, will be duly honoured by the firm of + Monteith, M'Killop, and Company, of Glasgow. Sir, with many thanks for + your kindness and consideration, + + "I remain, your most obedient, + + "WALTER MONTEITH." + +The letter brought on board by M'Foy was to prove his identity. While +the captain read it, M'Foy stared about him like a wild stag. The +captain welcomed him to the ship, asked him one or two questions, +introduced him to the first lieutenant, and then went on shore. The +first lieutenant had asked me to dine in the gun-room; I supposed that +he was pleased with me because I had found the men; and when the captain +pulled on shore, he also invited Mr M'Foy, when the following +conversation took place. + +"Well, Mr M'Foy, you have had a long journey; I presume it is the first +that you have ever made." + +"Indeed it is, sir," replied M'Foy; "and sorely I've been pestered. Had +I minded all they whispered in my lug as I came along, I had need been +made of money--sax-pence here, sax-pence there, sax-pence every where. +Sich extortion I ne'er dreamt of." + +"How did you come from Glasgow?" + +"By the wheelboat, or steamboat, as they ca'd it, to Lunnon: where they +charged me sax-pence for taking my baggage on shore--a wee boxy nae +bigger than yon cocked-up hat. I would fain carry it mysel', but they +wadna let me." + +"Well, where did you go to when you arrived in London?" + +"I went to a place ca'd Chichester Rents, to the house of Storm and +Mainwaring, Warehousemen, and they must have another sax-pence for +showing me the way. There I waited half-an-hour in the counting-house, +till they took me to a place ca'd Bull and Mouth, and put me into a +coach, paying my whole fare: nevertheless they must din me for money the +whole of the way down. There was first the guard, and then the coachman, +and another guard, and another coachman; but I wudna listen to them, and +so they growled and abused me." + +"And when did you arrive?" + +"I came here last night; and I only had a bed and a breakfast at the twa +Blue Pillars' house, for which they extortioned me three shillings and +sax-pence, as I sit here. And then there was the chambermaid hussy and +waiter loon axed me to remember them, and wanted more siller; but I told +them as I told the guard and coachman, that I had none for them." + +"How much of your ten shillings have you left?" inquired the first +lieutenant, smiling. + +"Hoot, sir lieutenant, how came you for to ken that? Eh! it's my uncle +Monteith at Glasgow. Why, as I sit here, I've but three shillings and a +penny of it lift. But there's a smell here that's no canny; so I'll just +go up again into the fresh air." + +When Mr M'Foy quitted the gun-room they all laughed very much. After he +had been a short time on deck he went down into the midshipmen's berth; +but he made himself very unpleasant, quarrelling and wrangling with +everybody. It did not, however, last very long; for he would not obey +any orders that were given to him. On the third day, he quitted the ship +without asking the permission of the first lieutenant; when he returned +on board the following day, the first lieutenant put him under an +arrest, and in charge of the sentry at the cabin door. During the +afternoon I was under the half-deck, and perceived that he was +sharpening a long clasp-knife upon the after-truck of the gun. I went up +to him, and asked him why he was doing so, and he replied, as his eyes +flashed fire, that it was to revenge the insult offered to the bluid of +M'Foy. His look told me that he was in earnest. "But what do you mean?" +inquired I. "I mean," said he, drawing the edge and feeling the point of +his weapon, "to put it into the weam of that man with the gold podge on +his shoulder, who has dared to place me here." + +I was very much alarmed, and thought it my duty to state his murderous +intentions, or worse might happen; so I walked up on deck and told the +first lieutenant what M'Foy was intending to do, and how his life was in +danger. Mr Falcon laughed, and shortly afterwards went down on the +main-deck. M'Foy's eyes glistened, and he walked forward to where the +first lieutenant was standing; but the sentry, who had been cautioned by +me, kept him back with his bayonet. The first lieutenant turned round, +and perceiving what was going on, desired the sentry to see if Mr M'Foy +had a knife in his hand; and he had it sure enough, open, and held +behind his back. He was disarmed, and the first lieutenant, perceiving +that the lad meant mischief, reported his conduct to the captain, on his +arrival on board. The captain sent for M'Foy, who was very obstinate, +and when taxed with his intention would not deny it, or even say that he +would not again attempt it; so he was sent on shore immediately, and +returned to his friends in the Highlands. We never saw any more of him; +but I heard that he obtained a commission in the army, and three months +after he had joined his regiment, was killed in a duel, resenting some +fancied affront offered to the bluid of M'Foy. + +[Footnote 1: Peter's memory is short, p. 9.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter IX + +We post up to Portsdown Fair--Consequence of disturbing a lady at supper +--Natural affection of the pelican, proved at my expense--Spontaneous +combustion at Ranelagh Gardens--Pastry _versus_ Piety--Many are bid to +the feast; but not the halt, the lame, or the blind. + + +A few days after M'Foy quitted the ship, we all had leave from the first +lieutenant to go to Portsdown fair, but he would only allow the oldsters +to sleep on shore. We anticipated so much pleasure from our excursion, +that some of us were up early enough to go away in the boat sent for +fresh beef. This was very foolish. There were no carriages to take us to +the fair, nor indeed any fair so early in the morning; the shops were +all shut, and the Blue Posts, where we always rendezvoused, was hardly +opened. We waited there in the coffee-room, until we were driven out by +the maid sweeping away the dirt, and were forced to walk about until she +had finished, and lighted the fire, when we ordered our breakfast; but +how much better would it have been to have taken our breakfast +comfortably on board, and then to have come on shore, especially as we +had no money to spare. Next to being too late, being too soon is the +worst plan in the world. However, we had our breakfast, and paid the +bill; then we sallied forth, and went up George-street, where we found +all sorts of vehicles ready to take us to the fair. We got into one +which they called a dilly. I asked the man who drove it why it was so +called, and he replied, because he only charged a shilling. O'Brien, who +had joined us after breakfasting on board, said that this answer +reminded him of one given to him by a man who attended the hackney-coach +stands in London. "Pray," said he, "why are you called Waterman?" +"Waterman," replied the man, "vy, sir, 'cause we opens the hackney-coach +doors." At last, with plenty of whipping, and plenty of swearing, and a +great deal of laughing, the old horse, whose back curved upwards like a +bow, from the difficulty of dragging so many, arrived at the bottom of +Portsdown hill, where we got out, and walked up to the fair. It really +was a most beautiful sight. The bright blue sky, and the coloured flags +flapping about in all directions, the grass so green, and the white +tents and booths, the sun shining so bright, and the shining gilt +gingerbread, the variety of toys and the variety of noise, the quantity +of people and the quantity of sweetmeats; little boys so happy, and +shop-people so polite, the music at the booths, and the bustle and +eagerness of the people outside, made my heart quite jump. There was +Richardson, with a clown and harlequin, and such beautiful women, +dressed in clothes all over gold spangles, dancing reels and waltzes, +and looking so happy! There was Flint and Gyngell, with fellows tumbling +over head and heels, playing such tricks--eating fire, and drawing yards +of tape out of their mouths. Then there was the Royal Circus, all the +horses standing in a line, with men and women standing on their backs, +waving flags, while the trumpeters blew their trumpets. And the largest +giant in the world, and Mr Paap, the smallest dwarf in the world, and a +female dwarf, who was smaller still, and Miss Biffin, who did everything +without legs or arms. There was also the learned pig, and the +Herefordshire ox, and a hundred other sights which I cannot now +remember. We walked about for an hour or two seeing the outside of every +thing: we determined to go and see the inside. First we went into +Richardson's, where we saw a bloody tragedy, with a ghost and thunder, +and afterwards a pantomime, full of tricks, and tumbling over one +another. Then we saw one or two other things, I forget what; but this I +know, that, generally speaking, the outside was better, than the inside. +After this, feeling very hungry, we agreed to go into a booth and have +something to eat. The tables were ranged all round, and in the centre +there was a boarded platform for dancing. The ladies were there all +ready dressed for partners; and the music was so lively, that I felt +very much inclined to dance, but we had agreed to go and see the wild +beasts fed at Mr Polito's menagerie, and as it was now almost eight +o'clock, we paid our bill and set off. It was a very curious sight, and +better worth seeing than any thing in the fair; I never had an idea that +there were so many strange animals in existence. They were all secured +in iron cages, and a large chandelier with twenty lights, hung in the +centre of the booth, and lighted them up, while the keeper went round +and stirred them up with his long pole; at the same time he gave us +their histories, which were very interesting. I recollect a few of them. +There was the tapir, a great pig with a long nose, a variety of the +hiptostamass, which the keeper said was an amphibilious animal, as +couldn't live on land, and _dies_ in the water--however, it seemed to +live very well in a cage. Then there was the kangaroo with its young +ones peeping out of it--a most astonishing animal. The keeper said that +it brought forth two young ones at a birth, and then took them into its +stomach again, until they arrived at years of discretion. Then there was +the pelican of the wilderness, (I shall not forget him), with a large +bag under his throat, which the man put on his head as a night-cap: this +bird feeds its young with its own blood--when fish are scarce. And there +was the laughing hyæna, who cries in the wood like a human being in +distress, and devours those who come to his assistance--a sad instance +of the depravity of human nature, as the keeper observed. There was a +beautiful creature, the royal Bengal tiger, only three years old, what +growed ten inches every year, and never arrived at its full growth. The +one we saw, measured, as the keeper told us, sixteen feet from the snout +to the tail, and seventeen from the tail to the snout: but there must +have been some mistake there. There was a young elephant and three +lions, and several other animals which I forget now, so I shall go on to +describe the tragical scene which occurred. The keeper had poked up all +the animals, and had commenced feeding them. The great lion was growling +and snarling over the shin-bone of an ox, cracking it like a nut, when, +by some mismanagement, one end of the pole upon which the chandelier was +suspended fell down, striking the door of the cage in which the lioness +was at supper, and bursting it open. It was all done in a second; the +chandelier fell, the cage opened, and the lioness sprang out. I remember +to this moment seeing the body of the lioness in the air, and then all +was dark as pitch. What a change! not a moment before all of us staring +with delight and curiosity, and then to be left in darkness, horror, and +dismay! There was such screaming and shrieking, such crying, and +fighting, and pushing, and fainting, nobody knew where to go, or how to +find their way out. The people crowded first on one side, and then on +the other, as their fears instigated them. I was very soon jammed up +with my back against the bars of one of the cages, and feeling some +beast lay hold of me behind, made a desperate effort, and succeeded in +climbing up to the cage above, not however without losing the seat of my +trowsers, which the laughing hyæna would not let go. I hardly knew where +I was when I climbed up; but I knew the birds were mostly stationed +above. However, that I might not have the front of my trowsers torn as +well as the behind, as soon as I gained my footing I turned round, with +my back to the bars of the cage, but I had not been there a minute +before I was attacked by something which digged into me like a pickaxe, +and as the hyæna had torn my clothes, I had no defence against it. To +turn round would have been worse still; so, after having received above +a dozen stabs, I contrived by degrees to shift my position until I was +opposite to another cage, but not until the pelican, for it was that +brute, had drawn as much blood from me as would have fed his young for a +week. I was surmising what danger I should next encounter, when to my +joy I discovered that I had gained the open door from which the lioness +had escaped. I crawled in, and pulled the door to after me, thinking +myself very fortunate: and there I sat very quietly in a corner during +the remainder of the noise and confusion. I had been there but a few +minutes, when the beef-eaters, as they were called, who played the music +outside, came in with torches and loaded muskets. The sight which +presented itself was truly shocking, twenty or thirty men, women, and +children, lay on the ground, and I thought at first the lioness had +killed them all, but they were only in fits, or had been trampled down +by the crowd. No one was seriously hurt. As for the lioness, she was not +to be found: and as soon as it was ascertained that she had escaped, +there was as much terror and scampering away outside as there had been +in the menagerie. It appeared afterwards, that the animal had been as +much frightened as we had been, and had secreted herself under one of +the waggons. It was some time before she could be found. At last +O'Brien, who was a very brave fellow, went a-head of the beef-eaters, +and saw her eyes glaring. They borrowed a net or two from the carts +which had brought calves to the fair, and threw them over her. When she +was fairly entangled, they dragged her by the tail into the menagerie. +All this while I had remained very quietly in the den, but when I +perceived that its lawful owner had come back to retake possession, I +thought it was time to come out; so I called to my messmates, who, with +O'Brien were assisting the beef-eaters. They had not discovered me, and +laughed very much when they saw where I was. One of the midshipmen shot +the bolt of the door, so that I could not jump out, and then stirred me +up with a long pole. At last I contrived to unbolt it again, and got +out, when they laughed still more, at the seat of my trowsers being torn +off. It was not exactly a laughing matter to me, although I had to +congratulate myself upon a very lucky escape; and so did my messmates +think, when I narrated my adventures. The pelican was the worst part of +the business. O'Brien lent me a dark silk handkerchief, which I tied +round my waist, and let drop behind, so that my misfortunes might not +attract any notice, and then we quitted the menagerie; but I was so +stiff that I could scarcely walk. + +We then went to what they called the Ranelagh Gardens, to see the +fireworks, which were to be let off at ten o'clock. It was exactly ten +when we paid for our admission, and we waited very patiently for a +quarter of an hour, but there were no signs of the fireworks being +displayed. The fact was, that the man to whom the gardens belonged +waited until more company should arrive, although the place was already +very full of people. Now the first lieutenant had ordered the boat to +wait for us until twelve o'clock, and then return on board; and, as we +were seven miles from Portsmouth, we had not much time to spare. We +waited another quarter of an hour, and then it was agreed that as the +fireworks were stated in the handbill to commence precisely at ten +o'clock, we were fully justified in letting them off ourselves. O'Brien +went out, and returned with a dozen penny rattans, which he notched in +the end. The fireworks were on the posts and stages, all ready, and it +was agreed that we should light them all at once, and then mix with the +crowd. The oldsters lighted cigars, and fixing them in the notched end +of the canes, continued to puff them until they were all well lighted. +They handed one to each of us, and at a signal we all applied them to +the match papers, and as soon as the fire communicated we threw down our +canes and ran in among the crowd. In about half a minute, off they all +went, in a most beautiful confusion; there were silver stars and golden +stars, blue lights and Catherine-wheels, mines and bombs, Grecian-fires +and Roman-candles, Chinese-trees, rockets and illuminated mottoes, all +firing away, cracking, popping, and fizzing, at the same time. It was +unanimously agreed that it was a great improvement upon the intended +show. The man to whom the gardens belonged ran out of a booth, where he +had been drinking beer at his ease, while his company were waiting, +swearing vengeance against the perpetrators; indeed, the next day he +offered fifty pounds reward for the discovery of the offenders. But I +think that he was treated very properly. He was, in his situation, a +servant of the public, and he had behaved as if he was their master. We +all escaped very cleverly, and taking another dilly, arrived at +Portsmouth, and were down to the boat in good time. The next day I was +so stiff and in such pain, that I was obliged to go to the doctor, who +put me on the list, where I remained a week before I could return to my +duty. So much for Portsdown fair. + +It was on a Saturday that I returned to my duty, and Sunday being a fine +day, we all went on shore to church with Mr Falcon, the first +lieutenant. We liked going to church very much, not, I am sorry to say, +from religious feelings, but for the following reason:--The first +lieutenant sat in a pew below, and we were placed in the gallery above, +where he could not see us, nor indeed could we see him. We all remained +very quiet, and I may say very devout, during the time of the service; +but the clergyman who delivered the sermon was so tedious, and had such +a bad voice, that we generally slipped out as soon as he went up into +the pulpit, and adjourned to a pastry-cook's opposite, to eat cakes and +tarts and drink cherry-brandy, which we infinitely preferred to hearing +a sermon. Somehow or other, the first lieutenant had scent of our +proceedings: we believed that the marine officer informed against us, +and this Sunday he served us a pretty trick. We had been at the +pastry-cook's as usual, and as soon as we perceived the people coming +out of church, we put all our tarts and sweetmeats into our hats, which +we then slipped on our heads, and took our station at the church-door, +as if we had just come down from the gallery, and had been waiting for +him. Instead, however, of appearing at the church-door, he walked up the +street, and desired us to follow him to the boat. The fact was, he had +been in the back-room at the pastry-cook's watching our motions through +the green blinds. We had no suspicion, but thought that he had come out +of church a little sooner than usual. When we arrived on board and +followed him up the side, he said to us as we came on deck,--"Walk aft, +young gentlemen." We did; and he desired us to "toe a line," which means +to stand in a row. "Now, Mr Dixon," said he, "what was the text to-day?" +As he very often asked us that question, we always left one in the +church until the text was given out, who brought it to us in the +pastry-cook's shop, when we all marked it in our Bibles, to be ready if +he asked us. Dixon immediately pulled out his Bible where he had marked +down the leaf, and read it. "O! that was it," said Mr Falcon; "you must +have remarkably good ears, Mr Dixon, to have heard the clergyman from +the pastry-cook's shop. Now, gentlemen, hats off, if you please." We all +slided off our hats, which, as he expected, were full of pastry. +"Really, gentlemen," said he, feeling the different papers of pastry and +sweetmeats, "I am quite delighted to perceive that you have not been to +church for nothing. Few come away with so many good things pressed upon +their seat of memory. Master-at-arms, send all the ship's boys aft." + +The boys all came tumbling up the ladders, and the first lieutenant +desired each of them to take a seat upon the carronade slides. When they +were all stationed, he ordered us to go round with our hats, and request +of each his acceptance of a tart, which we were obliged to do, handing +first to one and then to another, until the hats were all empty. What +annoyed me more than all, was the grinning of the boys at their being +served by us like foot-men, as well as the ridicule and laughter of the +whole ship's company, who had assembled at the gangways. + +When all the pastry was devoured, the first lieutenant said, + +"There, gentlemen, now that you have had your lesson for the day, you +may go below." We could not help laughing ourselves, when we went down +into the berth; Mr Falcon always punished us good-humouredly, and, in +some way or other, his punishments were severally connected with the +description of the offence. He always had a remedy for every thing that +he disapproved of, and the ship's company used to call him "Remedy +Jack." I ought to observe that some of my messmates were very severe +upon the ship's boys after that circumstance, always giving them a kick +or a cuff on the head whenever they could, telling them at the same +time, "There's another tart for you, you whelp." I believe, if the boys +had known what was in reserve for them, they would much rather have left +the pastry alone. + + + + +Chapter X + +A pressgang; beaten off by one woman--Dangers at Spithead and Point--A +treat for both parties, of _pulled chicken_, at my expense--Also gin +for twenty--I am made a prisoner: escape and rejoin my ship. + + +I must now relate what occurred to me a few days before the ship sailed, +which will prove that it is not necessary to encounter the winds and +waves, or the cannon of the enemy, to be in danger, when you have +entered his Majesty's service: on the contrary, I have been in action +since, and I declare, without hesitation, that I did not feel so much +alarm on that occasion, as I did on the one of which I am about to give +the history. We were reported ready for sea, and the Admiralty was +anxious that we should proceed. The only obstacle to our sailing was, +that we had not yet completed our complement of men. The captain applied +to the port-admiral, and obtained permission to send parties on shore to +impress seamen. The second and third lieutenants, and the oldest +midshipman, were despatched on shore every night, with some of the most +trustworthy men, and generally brought on board in the morning about +half a dozen men, whom they had picked up in the different alehouses, or +grog-shops, as the sailors call them. Some of them were retained, but +most of them sent on shore as unserviceable; for it is the custom, when +a man either enters or is impressed, to send him down to the surgeon in +the cockpit, where he is stripped and examined all over, to see if he be +sound and fit for his majesty's service; and if not, he is sent on shore +again. Impressing appeared to be rather serious work, as far as I could +judge from the accounts which I heard, and from the way in which our +sailors, who were employed on the service, were occasionally beaten and +wounded; the seamen who were impressed appearing to fight as hard not to +be forced into the service, as they did for the honour of the country, +after they were fairly embarked in it. I had a great wish to be one of +the party before the ship sailed, and asked O'Brien, who was very kind +to me in general, and allowed nobody to thrash me but himself, if he +would take me with him, which he did on the night after I had made the +request. I put on my dirk, that they might know I was an officer, as +well as for my protection. About dusk we rowed on shore, and landed on +the Gosport side: the men were all armed with cutlasses, and wore pea +jackets, which are very short great-coats made of what they call +Flushing. We did not stop to look at any of the grog-shops in the town, +as it was too early, but walked out about three miles in the suburbs, +and went to a house, the door of which was locked, but we forced it open +in a minute, and hastened to enter the passage, where we found the +landlady standing to defend the entrance. The passage was long and +narrow, and she was a very tall corpulent woman, so that her body nearly +filled it up, and in her hands she held a long spit pointed at us, with +which she kept us at bay. The officers, who were the foremost, did not +like to attack a woman, and she made such drives at them with her spit, +that had they not retreated, some of them would soon have been ready for +roasting. The sailors laughed and stood outside, leaving the officers to +settle the business how they could. At last, the landlady called out to +her husband, "Be they all out, Jem?" "Yes," replied the husband, "they +be all safe gone." "Well, then," replied she, "I'll soon have all these +gone too;" and with these words she made such a rush forward upon us +with her spit, that had we not fallen back and tumbled one over another, +she certainly would have run it through the second lieutenant, who +commanded the party. The passage was cleared in an instant, and as soon +as we were all in the street she bolted us out: so there we were, three +officers and fifteen armed men, fairly beat off by a fat old woman; the +sailors who had been drinking in the house having made their escape to +some other place. But I do not well see how it could be otherwise; +either we must have killed or wounded the woman, or she would have run +us through, she was so resolute. Had her husband been in the passage, he +would have been settled in a very short time; but what can you do with a +woman who fights like a devil, and yet claims all the rights and +immunities of the softer sex? We all walked away, looking very foolish; +and O'Brien observed that the next time he called at that house he would +weather the old cat, for he would take her ladyship in the rear. + +We then called at other houses, where we picked up one or two men, but +most of them escaped, by getting out at the windows or the back doors, +as we entered the front. Now there was a grog-shop which was a very +favourite rendezvous of the seamen belonging to the merchant vessels, +and to which they were accustomed to retreat when they heard that the +pressgangs were out. Our officers were aware of this, and were therefore +indifferent as to the escape of the men, as they knew that they would +all go to that place, and confide in their numbers for beating us off. +As it was then one o'clock, they thought it time to go there; we +proceeded without any noise, but they had people on the look-out, and as +soon as we turned the corner of the lane the alarm was given. I was +afraid that they would all run away, and we should lose them; but, on +the contrary, they mustered very strong on that night, and had resolved +to "give fight." The men remained in the house, but an advanced guard of +about thirty of their wives saluted us with a shower of stones and mud. +Some of our sailors were hurt, but they did not appear to mind what the +women did. They rushed on, and then they were attacked by the women with +their fists and nails. Notwithstanding this, the sailors only laughed, +pushing the women on one side, and saying, "Be quiet, Poll;"--"Don't be +foolish, Molly;"--"Out of the way, Sukey; we a'n't come to take away +your fancy man;" with expressions of that sort, although the blood +trickled down many of their faces, from the way in which they had been +clawed. Thus we attempted to force our way through them, but I had a +very narrow escape even in this instance. A woman seized me by the arm, +and pulled me towards her; had it not been for one of the +quarter-masters I should have been separated from my party; but, just as +they dragged me away, she caught hold of me by the leg, and stopped +them. "Clap on here, Peg," cried the woman to another, "and let's have +this little midshipmite; I wants a baby to dry nurse." Two more women +came to her assistance, catching hold of my other arm, and they would +have dragged me out of the grasp of the quarter-master, had he not +called out for more help on his side, upon which two of the seamen laid +hold of my other leg, and there was such a tussle (all at my expense), +such pulling and hauling; sometimes the women gained an inch or two of +me, then the sailors got it back again. At one moment I thought it was +all over with me, and in the next I was with my own men. "Pull devil; +pull baker!" cried the women, and then they laughed, although I did not, +I can assure you, for I really think that I was pulled out an inch +taller, and my knees and shoulders pained me very much indeed. At last +the women laughed so much that they could not hold on, so I was dragged +into the middle of our own sailors, where I took care to remain; and, +after a little more squeezing and fighting, was carried by the crowd +into the house. The seamen of the merchant ships had armed themselves +with bludgeons and other weapons, and had taken a position on the +tables. They were more than two to one against us, and there was a +dreadful fight, as their resistance was very desperate. Our sailors were +obliged to use their cutlasses, and for a few minutes I was quite +bewildered with the shouting and swearing, pushing and scuffling, +collaring and fighting, together with the dust raised up, which not only +blinded, but nearly choked me. By the time that my breath was nearly +squeezed out of my body, our sailors got the best of it, which the +landlady and women of the house perceiving, they put out all the lights, +so that I could not tell where I was; but our sailors had every one +seized his man, and contrived to haul him out of the street door, where +they were collected together, and secured. + +Now again I was in great difficulty; I had been knocked down and trod +upon, and when I did contrive to get up again, I did not know the +direction in which the door lay. I felt about by the wall, and at last +came to a door, for the room was at that time nearly empty, the women +having followed the men out of the house. I opened it, and found that it +was not the right one, but led into a little side parlour, where there +was a fire, but no lights. I had just discovered my mistake, and was +about to retreat, when I was shoved in from behind, and the key turned +upon me: there I was all alone, and, I must acknowledge, very much +frightened, as I thought that the vengeance of the women would be +wreaked upon me. I considered that my death was certain, and that, like +the man Orpheus I had read of in my books, I should be torn to pieces by +these Bacchanals. However, I reflected that I was an officer in his +Majesty's service, and that it was my duty, if necessary, to sacrifice +my life for my king and country. I thought of my poor mother; but as it +made me unhappy, I tried to forget her, and call to my memory all I had +read of the fortitude and courage of various brave men, when death +stared them in the face. I peeped through the key-hole, and perceived +that the candles were re-lighted, and that there were only women in the +room, who were talking all at once, and not thinking about me. But in a +minute or two, a woman came in from the street, with her long black hair +hanging about her shoulders, and her cap in her hand. "Well," cried she, +"they've nabbed my husband; but I'll be dished if I hav'n't boxed up the +midshipmite in that parlour, and he shall take his place." I thought I +should have died when I looked at the woman, and perceived her coming up +to the door, followed by some others, to unlock it. As the door opened, +I drew my dirk, resolving to die like an officer, and as they advanced I +retreated to a corner, brandishing my dirk, without saying a word. +"Vell," cried the woman who had made me a prisoner, "I do declare I +likes to see a puddle in a storm--only look at the little +biscuit-nibbler showing fight! Come, my lovey, you belongs to me." + +"Never!" exclaimed I with indignation. "Keep off, I shall do you +mischief" (and I raised my dirk in advance); "I am an officer and a +gentleman." + +"Sall," cried the odious woman, "fetch a mop and a pail of dirty water, +and I'll trundle that dirk out of his fist." + +"No, no," replied another rather good-looking young woman, "leave him to +me--don't hurt him--he really is a very nice little man. What's your +name, my dear?" + +"Peter Simple is my name," replied I; "and I am a king's officer, so be +careful what you are about." + +"Don't be afraid, Peter, nobody shall hurt you; but you must not draw +your dirk before ladies, that's not like an officer and a gentleman--so +put up your dirk, that's a good boy." + +"I will not," replied I, "unless you promise me that I shall go away +unmolested." + +"I do promise you that you shall, upon my word, Peter--upon my honour-- +will that content you?" + +"Yes," replied I, "if every one else will promise the same." + +"Upon our honours," they all cried together; upon which I was satisfied, +and putting my dirk into its sheath, was about to quit the room. + +"Stop, Peter," said the young woman who had taken my part; "I must have +a kiss before you go." "And so must I; and so must we all," cried the +other women. + +I was very much shocked, and attempted to draw my dirk again, but they +had closed in with me, and prevented me. "Recollect your honour," cried +I to the young woman, as I struggled. + +"My honour!--Lord bless you, Peter, the less we say about that the +better." + +"But you promised that I should go away quietly," said I, appealing to +them. + +"Well, and so you shall; but recollect, Peter, that you are an officer +and a gentleman--you surely would not be so shabby as to go away without +treating us. What money have you got in your pocket?" and, without +giving me time to answer, she felt in my pocket, and pulled out my +purse, which she opened. "Why, Peter, you are as rich as a Jew," said +she, as they counted thirty shillings on the table. "Now, what shall we +have?" + +"Anything you please," said I, "provided that you will let me go." + +"Well, then, it shall be a gallon of gin. Sall, call Mrs Flanagan. Mrs +Flanagan, we want a gallon of gin, and clean glasses." + +Mrs Flanagan received the major part of my money, and in a minute +returned with the gin and wine-glasses. + +"Now, Peter, my cove, let's all draw round the table, and make ourselves +cosy." + +"O no," replied I, "take my money, drink the gin, but pray let me go;" +but they wouldn't listen to me. Then I was obliged to sit down with +them, the gin was poured out, and they made me drink a glass, which +nearly choked me. It had, however, one good effect, it gave me courage, +and in a minute or two, I felt as if I could fight them all. The door of +the room was on the same side as the fire-place, and I perceived that +the poker was between the bars, and red hot. I complained that I was +cold, although I was in a burning fever; and they allowed me to get up +to warm my hands. As soon as I reached the fire-place, I snatched out +the red-hot poker, and, brandishing it over my head, made for the door. +They all jumped up to detain me, but I made a poke at the foremost, +which made her run back with a shriek, (I do believe that I burnt her +nose.) I seized my opportunity, and escaped into the street, whirling +the poker round my head, while all the women followed, hooting and +shouting after me. I never stopped running and whirling my poker until I +was reeking with perspiration, and the poker was quite cold. Then I +looked back, and found that I was alone. It was very dark; every house +was shut up, and not a light to be seen anywhere. I stopped at the +corner, not knowing where I was, or what I was to do. I felt very +miserable indeed, and was reflecting on my wisest plan, when who should +turn the corner, but one of the quarter-masters who had been left on +shore by accident. I knew him by his pea-jacket and straw hat to be one +of our men, and I was delighted to see him. I told him what had +happened, and he replied that he was going to a house where the people +knew him and would let him in. When we arrived there, the people of the +house were very civil; the landlady made us some purl, which the +quarter-master ordered, and which I thought very good indeed. After we +had finished the jug, we both fell asleep in our chairs. I did not +awaken until I was roused by the quarter-master, at past seven o'clock, +when we took a wherry, and went off to the ship. + + + + +Chapter XI + +O'Brien takes me under his protection--The ship's company are paid, so +are the bumboat-women, the Jews, and the emancipationist after a +fashion--We go to sea--_Doctor_ O'Brien's cure for sea-sickness--One +pill of the doctor's more than a dose. + + +When we arrived, I reported myself to the first lieutenant, and told him +the whole story of the manner in which I had been treated, showing him +the poker, which I brought on board with me. He heard me very patiently, +and then said, "Well, Mr Simple, you may be the greatest fool of your +family for all I know to the contrary, but never pretend to be a fool +with me. That poker proves the contrary: and if your wit can serve you +upon your own emergency, I expect that it will be employed for the +benefit of the service." He then sent for O'Brien, and gave him a +lecture for allowing me to go with the pressgang, pointing out, what was +very true, that I could have been of no service, and might have met with +a serious accident. I went down on the main deck, and O'Brien came to +me. "Peter," said he, "I have been jawed for letting you go, so it is +but fair that you should be thrashed for having asked me." I wished to +argue the point, but he cut all argument short, by kicking me down the +hatchway; and thus ended my zealous attempt to procure seamen for his +majesty's service. + +At last the frigate was full manned; and, as we had received drafts of +men from other ships, we were ordered to be paid previously to our going +to sea. The people on shore always find out when a ship is to be paid, +and very early in the morning we were surrounded with wherries, laden +with Jews and other people, some requesting admittance to sell their +goods, others to get paid for what they had allowed the sailors to take +up upon credit. But the first lieutenant would not allow any of them to +come on board until after the ship was paid; although they were so +urgent that he was forced to place sentries in the chains with cold +shot, to stave the boats if they came alongside. I was standing at the +gangway, looking at the crowd of boats, when a black-looking fellow in +one of the wherries said to me, "I say, sir, let me slip in at the port, +and I have a very nice present to make you;" and he displayed a gold +seal, which he held up to me. I immediately ordered the sentry to keep +him further off, for I was very much affronted at his supposing me +capable of being bribed to disobey my orders. About eleven o'clock the +dockyard boat, with all the pay-clerks, and the cashier, with his chest +of money, came on board, and was shown into the fore-cabin, where the +captain attended the pay-table. The men were called in, one by one, and, +as the amount of the wages due had been previously calculated, they were +paid; very fast. The money was always received in their hats, after it +had been counted out in the presence of the officers and captain. +Outside the cabin door there stood a tall man in black, with hair +straight combed, who had obtained an order from the Port Admiral to be +permitted to come on board. He attacked every sailor as he came out; +with his money in his hat, for a subscription to emancipate the slaves +in the West Indies; but the sailors would not give him anything, +swearing that the niggers were better off than they were; for they did +not work harder by day, and had no watch and watch to keep during the +night. "Sarvitude is sarvitude all over the world, my old psalmsinger," +replied one. "They sarve their masters, as in duty bound; we sarve the +king, 'cause he can't do without us--and he never axes our leave, but +helps himself." + +"Yes," replied the straight-haired gentleman; "but slavery is a very +different thing." + +"Can't say that I see any difference; do you, Bill?" + +"Not I: and I suppose as if they didn't like it they'd run away." + +"Run away! poor creatures," said the black gentleman. "Why, if they did, +they would be flogged." + +"Flogged--heh; well, and if we run away we are to be hanged. The +nigger's better off nor we: ar'n't he, Tom?" Then the purser's steward +came out: he was what they call a bit of a lawyer,--that is, had +received more education than the seamen in general. + +"I trust, sir," said the man in black, "that you will contribute +something." + +"Not I, my hearty: I owe every farthing of my money, and more too, I'm +afraid." + +"Still, sir, a small trifle." + +"Why, what an infernal rascal you must be, to ask a man to give away +what is not his own property! Did I not tell you that I owed it all? +There's an old proverb--be just before you're generous. Now, it's my +opinion that, you are a methodistical, good-for-nothing blackguard; and +if any one is such a fool as to give you money, you will keep it for +yourself." + +When the man found that he could obtain nothing at the door, he went +down on the lower deck, in which he did not act very wisely; for now +that the men were paid, the boats were permitted to come alongside, and +so much spirits were smuggled in, that most of the seamen were more or +less intoxicated. As soon as he went below, he commenced distributing +prints of a black man kneeling in chains, and saying, "Am not I your +brother?" Some of the men laughed, and swore that they would paste their +brother up in the mess, to say prayers for the ship's company; but +others were very angry, and abused him. At last, one man, who was tipsy, +came up to him. "Do you pretend for to insinivate that this crying black +thief is my brother?" + +"To be sure I do," replied the methodist. + +"Then take that for your infernal lie," said the sailor, hitting him in +the face right and left, and knocking the man down into the cable tier, +from whence he climbed up, and made his escape out of the frigate as +soon as he was able. + +The ship was now in a state of confusion and uproar; there were Jews +trying to sell clothes, or to obtain money for clothes which they had +sold; bumboat-men and bumboat-women showing their long bills, and +demanding or coaxing for payment; other people from the shore, with +hundreds of small debts; and the sailors' wives, sticking close to them, +and disputing every bill presented, as an extortion or a robbery. There +was such bawling and threatening, laughing and crying--for the women +were all to quit the ship before sunset--at one moment a Jew was upset, +and all his hamper of clothes tossed into the hold; at another, a sailor +was seen hunting everywhere for a Jew who had cheated him,--all +squabbling or skylarking, and many of them very drunk. It appeared to me +that the sailors had rather a difficult point to settle. They had three +claimants upon them, the Jew for clothes, the bumboat-men for their mess +in harbour, and their wives for their support during their absence; and +the money which they received was, generally speaking, not more than +sufficient to meet one of the demands. As it may be supposed, the women +had the best of it; the others were paid a trifle, and promised the +remainder when they came back from their cruise; and although, as the +case stood then, it might appear that two of the parties were ill-used, +yet in the long run they were more than indemnified, for their charges +were so extravagant, that if one-third of their bills were paid, there +would still remain a profit. About five o'clock the orders were given +for the ship to be cleared. All disputed points were settled by the +sergeant of marines with a party, who divided their antagonists from the +Jews; and every description of persons not belonging to the ship, +whether male or female, was dismissed over the side. The hammocks were +piped down, those who were intoxicated were put to bed, and the ship was +once more quiet. Nobody was punished for having been tipsy, as pay-day +is considered, on board a man-of-war, as the winding-up of all incorrect +behaviour, and from that day the sailors turn over a new leaf; for, +although some latitude is permitted, and the seamen are seldom flogged +in harbour, yet the moment that the anchor is at the bows, strict +discipline is exacted, and intoxication must no longer hope to be +forgiven. + +The next day everything was prepared for sea, and no leave was permitted +to the officers. Stock of every kind was brought on board, and the large +boats hoisted and secured. On the morning after, at daylight, a signal +from the flag-ship in harbour was made for us to unmoor; our orders had +come down to cruise in the Bay of Biscay. The captain came on board, the +anchor weighed, and we ran through the Needles with a fine N.E. breeze. +I admired the scenery of the Isle of Wight, looked with admiration at +Alum Bay, was astonished at the Needle rocks, and then felt so very ill +that I went down below. What occurred for the next six days I cannot +tell. I thought that I should die every moment, and lay in my hammock or +on the chests for the whole of that time, incapable of eating, drinking, +or walking about. O'Brien came to me on the seventh morning, and said, +that if I did not exert myself I never should get well; that he was very +fond of me and had taken me under his protection, and, to prove his +regard, he would do for me what he would not take the trouble to do for +any other youngster in the ship, which was, to give me a good basting, +which was a sovereign remedy for sea-sickness. He suited the action to +the word, and drubbed me on the ribs without mercy, until I thought the +breath was out of my body, and then he took out a rope's end and +thrashed me until I obeyed his orders to go on deck immediately. Before +he came to me, I could never have believed it possible that I could have +obeyed him; but somehow or other I did contrive to crawl up the ladder +to the main-deck, where I sat down on the shot-racks and cried bitterly. +What would I have given to have been at home again! It was not my fault +that I was the greatest fool in the family, yet how was I punished for +it! If this was kindness from O'Brien, what had I to expect from those +who were not partial to me? But, by degrees, I recovered myself, and +certainly felt a great deal better, and that night I slept very soundly. +The next morning O'Brien came to me again. "It's a nasty slow fever, +that sea-sickness, my Peter, and we must drive it out of you;" and then +he commenced a repetition of yesterday's remedy until I was almost a +jelly. Whether the fear of being thrashed drove away my sea-sickness, or +whatever might be the real cause of it, I do not know, but this is +certain, that I felt no more of it after the second beating, and the +next morning when I awoke I was very hungry. I hastened to dress myself +before O'Brien came to me, and did not see him until we met at +breakfast. + +"Pater," said he, "let me feel your pulse." + +"Oh no!" replied I, "indeed I'm quite well." + +"Quite well! Can you eat biscuit and salt butter?" + +"Yes, I can." + +"And a piece of fat pork?" + +"Yes, that I can." + +"It's thanks to me then, Pater," replied he; "so you'll have no more of +my medicine until you fall sick again." + +"I hope not," replied I, "for it was not very pleasant." + +"Pleasant! you simple Simple, when did you ever hear of physic being +pleasant, unless a man prescribe for himself? I suppose you'd be after +lollipops for the yellow fever. Live and larn, boy, and thank Heaven +that you've found somebody who loves you well enough to baste you when +it's good for your health." + +I replied, "that I certainly hoped that much as I felt obliged to him, I +should not require any more proofs of his regard." + +"Any more such _striking_ proofs, you mean, Pater; but let me tell you +that they were sincere proofs, for since you've been ill I've been +eating your pork and drinking your grog, which latter can't be too +plentiful in the Bay of Biscay. And now that I've cured you, you'll be +tucking all that into your own little breadbasket, so that I'm no +gainer, and I think that you may be convinced that you never had or will +have two more disinterested thumpings in all your born days. However, +you're very welcome, so say no more about it." + +I held my tongue and ate a very hearty breakfast. From that day I +returned to my duty, and was put into the same watch with O'Brien, who +spoke to the first lieutenant, and told him that he had taken me under +his charge. + + + + +Chapter XII + +New theory of Mr Muddle remarkable for having no end to it--Novel +practice of Mr Chucks--O'Brien commences his history--There were giants +in those days--I bring up the master's _night-glass_. + + +As I have already mentioned sufficient of the captain and the first +lieutenant to enable the reader to gain an insight into their +characters, I shall now mention two very odd personages who were my +shipmates, the carpenter and the boatswain. The carpenter, whose name +was Muddle, used to go by the appellation of Philosopher Chips, not that +he followed any particular school, but had formed a theory of his own, +from which he was not to be dissuaded. This was, that the universe had +its cycle of events turned round, so that in a certain period of time +everything was to happen over again. I never could make him explain upon +what data his calculations were founded; he said, that if he explained +it, I was too young to comprehend it; but the fact was this, "that in +27,672 years everything that was going on now would be going on again, +with the same people as were existing at this present time." He very +seldom ventured to make the remark to Captain Savage, but to the first +lieutenant he did very often. "I've been as close to it as possible, +sir, I do assure you, although you find fault; but 27,672 years ago you +were first lieutenant of this ship, and I was carpenter, although we +recollect nothing about it; and 27,672 years hence we shall both be +standing by this boat, talking about the repairs, as we are now." + +"I do not doubt it, Mr Muddle," replied the first lieutenant; "I dare +say that it is all very true, but the repairs must be finished this +night, and 27,672 years hence you will have the order just as positive +as you have it now, so let it be done." + +This theory made him very indifferent as to danger, or indeed as to +anything. It was of no consequence, the affair took its station in the +course of time. It had happened at the above period, and would happen +again. Fate was fate. But the boatswain was a more amusing personage. He +was considered to be the _taughtest_ (that is, the most active and +severe) boatswain in the service. He went by the name of "Gentleman +Chucks"--the latter was his surname. He appeared to have received half +an education; sometimes his language was for a few sentences remarkably +well chosen, but, all of a sudden, he would break down at a hard word; +but I shall be able to let the reader into more of his history as I go +on with my adventures. He had a very handsome person, inclined to be +stout, keen eyes, and hair curling in ringlets. He held his head up, and +strutted as he walked. He declared "that an officer should look like an +officer, and _comport_ himself accordingly." In his person he was very +clean, wore rings on his great fingers, and a large frill to his bosom, +which stuck out like the back fin of a perch, and the collar of his +shirt was always pulled up to a level with his cheek-bones. He never +appeared on deck without his "persuader," which was three rattans +twisted into one, like a cable; sometimes he called it his Order of the +Bath, or his Tri_o_ junct_o_ in Uno; and this persuader was seldom idle. +He attempted to be very polite, even when addressing the common seamen, +and, certainly, he always commenced his observations to them in a very +gracious manner, but, as he continued, he became less choice in his +phraseology. O'Brien said that his speeches were like the Sin of the +poet, very fair at the upper part of them, but shocking at the lower +extremities. As a specimen of them, he would say to the man on the +forecastle, "Allow me to observe, my dear man, in the most delicate way +in the world, that you are spilling that tar upon the deck--a deck, sir, +if I may venture to make the observation, I had the duty of seeing +holystoned this morning. You understand me, sir, you have defiled his +majesty's forecastle. I must do my duty, sir, if you neglect yours; so +take that--and that--and that--(thrashing the man with his rattan)--you +d--d hay-making son of a sea-cook. Do it again, d--n your eyes, and I'll +cut your liver out." + +I remember one of the ship's boys going forward with a kid of dirty +water to empty in the head, without putting his hand up to his hat as he +passed the boatswain. "Stop, my little friend," said the boatswain, +pulling out his frill, and raising up both sides of his shirt-collar. +"Are you aware, sir, of my rank and station in society?" + +"Yes, sir," replied the boy, trembling, and eyeing the rattan. + +"Oh, you are!" replied Mr Chucks. "Had you not been aware of it, I +should have considered a gentle correction necessary, that you might +have avoided such an error in future; but, as you _were_ aware of it, +why then, d--n you, you have no excuse, so take that--and that--you +yelping, half-starved abortion. I really beg your pardon, Mr Simple," +said he to me, as the boy went howling forward, for I was walking with +him at the time; "but really the service makes brutes of us all. It is +hard to sacrifice our health, our night's rest, and our comforts; but +still more so, that in my responsible situation, I am obliged too often +to sacrifice my gentility." + +The master was the officer who had charge of the watch to which I was +stationed; he was a very rough sailor, who had been brought up in the +merchant service, not much of a gentleman in his appearance, very +good-tempered, and very fond of grog. He always quarrelled with the +boatswain, and declared that the service was going to the devil, now +that warrant officers put on white shirts, and wore frills to them. But +the boatswain did not care for him; he knew his duty, he did his duty, +and if the captain was satisfied, he said, that the whole ship's company +might grumble. As for the master, he said, the man was very well, but +having been brought up in a collier, he could not be expected to be very +refined; in fact, he observed, pulling up his shirt-collar--"it was +impossible to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." The master was very +kind to me, and used to send me down to my hammock before my watch was +half over. Until that time, I walked the deck with O'Brien, who was a +very pleasant companion, and taught me everything that he could, +connected with my profession. One night, when he had the middle watch, I +told him I should like very much if he would give me the history of his +life. "That I will, my honey," replied he, "all that I can remember of +it, though I have no doubt but that I've forgotten the best part of it. +It's now within five minutes of two bells, so we'll heave the log and +mark the board, and then I'll spin you a yarn, which will keep us both +from going to sleep." O'Brien reported the rate of sailing to the +master, marked it down on the log-board, and then returned. + +"So now, my boy, I'll come to an anchor on the topsail halyard rack, and +you may squeeze your thread-paper little carcass under my lee, and then +I'll tell you all about it. First and foremost, you must know that I am +descended from the great O'Brien Borru, who was king in his time, as the +great Fingal was before him. Of course you've heard of Fingal?" + +"I can't say that I ever did," replied I. + +"Never heard of Fingal!--murder! Where must you have been all your life? +Well, then, to give you some notion of Fingal, I will first tell you how +Fingal bothered the great Scotch giant, and then I'll go on with my own +story. Fingal, you must know, was a giant himself, and no fool of one, +and any one that affronted him was as sure of a bating, as I am to keep +the middle watch to-night. But there was a giant in Scotland as tall as +the mainmast, more or less, as we say when we a'n't quite sure, as it +saves telling more lies than there's occasion for. Well, this Scotch +giant heard of Fingal, and how he had beaten everybody, and he said, +'Who is this Fingal? By Jasus,' says he in Scotch, 'I'll just walk over +and see what he's made of.' So he walked across the Irish Channel, and +landed within half-a-mile of Belfast, but whether he was out of his +depth or not I can't tell, although I suspect that he was not +dry-footed. When Fingal heard that this great chap was coming over, he +was in a devil of a fright, for they told him that the Scotchman was +taller by a few feet or so. Giants, you know, measure by feet, and don't +bother themselves about the inches, as we little devils are obliged to +do. So Fingal kept a sharp look-out for the Scotchman, and one fine +morning, there he was, sure enough, coming up the hill to Fingal's +house. If Fingal was afraid before, he had more reason to be afraid when +he saw the fellow, for he looked for all the world like the Monument +upon a voyage of discovery. So Fingal ran into his house, and called to +his wife Shaya, 'My vourneen,' says he, 'be quick now; there's that big +bully of a Scotchman coming up the hill. Kiver me up with the blankets, +and if he asks who is in bed, tell him it's the child.' So Fingal laid +down on the bed, and his wife had just time to cover him up, when in +comes the Scotchman, and though he stooped low, he broke his head +against the portal. 'Where's that baste Fingal?' says he, rubbing his +forehead; 'show him to me, that I may give him a bating.' 'Whisht, +whisht!' cries Shaya, 'you'll wake the babby, and then him that you talk +of bating will be the death of you, if he comes in.' 'Is that the +babby?' cried the Scotchman with surprise, looking at the great carcass +muffled up in the blankets. 'Sure it is,' replied Shaya, 'and Fingal's +babby too; so don't you wake him, or Fingal will twist your neck in a +minute.' 'By the cross of St Andrew,' replied the giant, 'then it's time +for me to be off; for if that's his babby, I'll be but a mouthful to the +fellow himself. Good morning to ye.' So the Scotch giant ran out of the +house, and never stopped to eat or drink until he got back to his own +hills, foreby he was nearly drowned in having mistaken his passage +across the Channel in his great hurry. Then Fingal got up and laughed, +as well he might, at his own 'cuteness; and so ends my story about +Fingal. And now I'll begin about myself. As I said before, I am +descended from the great O'Brien, who was a king in his time, but that +time's past. I suppose, as the world turns round, my children's +children's posterity may be kings again, although there seems but little +chance of it just now; but there's ups and downs on a grand scale, as +well as in a man's own history, and the wheel of fortune keeps turning +for the comfort of those who are at the lowest spoke, as I may be just +now. To cut the story a little shorter, I skip down to my +great-grandfather, who lived like a real gentleman, as he was, upon his +ten thousand a year. At last he died, and eight thousand of the ten was +buried with him. My grandfather followed his father all in good course +of time, and only left my father about one hundred acres of bog, to keep +up the dignity of the family. I am the youngest of ten, and devil a +copper have I but my pay, or am I likely to have. You may talk about +_descent_, but a more _descending_ family than mine was never in +existence, for here am I with twenty-five pounds a-year, and a half-pay +of 'nothing a day, and find myself,' when my great ancestor did just +what he pleased with all Ireland, and everybody in it. But this is all +nothing, except to prove satisfactorily that I am not worth a +skillagalee, and that is the reason which induces me to condescend to +serve his Majesty. Father M'Grath, the priest, who lived with my father, +taught me the elements, as they call them. I thought I had enough of the +elements then, but I've seen a deal more of them since. 'Terence,' says +my father to me one day, 'what do you mane to do?' 'To get my dinner, +sure,' replied I, for I was not a little hungry. 'And so you shall +to-day, my vourneen,' replied my father, 'but in future you must do +something to get your own dinner: there's not praties enow for the whole +of ye. Will you go to the _say_?' 'I'll just step down and look at it,' +says I, for we lived but sixteen Irish miles from the coast; so when I +had finished my meal, which did not take long, for want of ammunition, I +trotted down to the Cove to see what a ship might be like, and I +happened upon a large one sure enough, for there lay a three-decker with +an admiral's flag at the fore. 'May be you'll be so civil as to tell me +what ship that is,' said I to a sailor on the pier. 'It's the Queen +Charlotte,' replied he, 'of one hundred and twenty guns.' Now when I +looked at her size, and compared her with all the little smacks and hoys +lying about her, I very naturally asked how old she was; he replied, +that she was no more than three years old. 'But three years old!' +thought I to myself, 'it's a fine vessel you'll be when you'll come of +age, if you grow at that rate: you'll be as tall as the top of +Bencrow,'(that's a mountain we have in our parts). You see, Peter, I was +a fool at that time, just as you are now; but by-and-by, when you've had +as many thrashings as I have had, you may chance to be as clever. I went +back to my father, and told him all I had seen, and he replied, that if +I liked it I might be a midshipman on board of her, with nine hundred +men under my command. He forgot to say how many I should have over me, +but I found that out afterwards. I agreed, and my father ordered his +pony and went to the lord-lieutenant, for he had interest enough for +that. The lord-lieutenant spoke to the admiral, who was staying at the +palace, and I was ordered on board as midshipman. My father fitted me +out pretty handsomely, telling all the tradesmen that their bills should +be paid with my first prize-money, and thus, by promises and blarney, he +got credit for all I wanted. At last all was ready: Father M'Grath gave +me his blessing, and told me that if I died like an O'Brien, he would +say a power of masses for the good of my soul. 'May you never have the +trouble, sir,' said I. 'Och, trouble! a pleasure, my dear boy,' replied +he, for he was a very polite man; so off I went with my big chest, not +quite so full as it ought to have been, for my mother cribbed one half +of my stock for my brothers and sisters. 'I hope to be back again soon, +father,' said I as I took my leave. 'I hope not, my dear boy,' replied +he: 'a'n't you provided for, and what more would you have?' So, after a +deal of bother, I was fairly on board, and I parted company with my +chest, for I stayed on deck, and that went down below. I stared about +with all my eyes for some time, when who should be coming off but the +captain, and the officers were ordered on deck to receive him. I wanted +to have a quiet survey of him, so I took up my station on one of the +guns, that I might examine him at my leisure. The boatswain whistled, +the marines presented arms, and the officers all took off their hats as +the captain came on the deck, and then the guard was dismissed, and they +all walked about the deck as before; but I found it very pleasant to be +astride on the gun, so I remained where I was. 'What do you mane by +that, you big young scoundrel?' says he, when he saw me. 'It's nothing +at all I mane,' replied I; 'but what do you mane by calling an O'Brien a +scoundrel?' 'Who is he?' said the captain to the first lieutenant. 'Mr +O'Brien, who joined the ship about an hour since.' 'Don't you know +better than to sit upon a gun?' said the captain. 'To be sure I do,' +replied I, 'when there's anything better to sit upon.' 'He knows no +better, sir,' observed the first lieutenant. 'Then he must be taught,' +replied the captain. 'Mr O'Brien, since you have perched yourself on +that gun to please yourself, you will now continue there for two hours +to please me. Do you understand, sir?--you'll ride on that gun for two +hours.' 'I understand, sir,' replied I; 'but I am afraid that he won't +move without spurs, although there's plenty of _metal_ in him.' The +captain turned away and laughed as he went into his cabin, and all the +officers laughed, and I laughed too, for I perceived no great hardship +in sitting down an hour or two, any more than I do now. Well, I soon +found that, like a young bear, all my troubles were to come. The first +month was nothing but fighting and squabbling with my messmates; they +called me a _raw_ Irishman, and _raw_ I was, sure enough, from the +constant thrashings and coltings I received from those who were bigger +and stronger than myself; but nothing lasts for ever--as they discovered +that whenever they found blows I could find back, they got tired of it, +and left me and my brogue alone. We sailed for the Toolong fleet." + +"What fleet?" inquired I. + +"Why, the Toolong fleet, so called, I thought, because they remained too +long in harbour, bad luck to them; and then we were off Cape See-see +(devil a bit could we see of them except their mast-heads) for I don't +know how many months. But I forgot to say that I got into another scrape +just before we left harbour. It was my watch when they piped to dinner, +and I took the liberty to run below, as my messmates had a knack of +forgetting absent friends. Well, the captain came on board, and there +were no side boys, no side ropes, and no officers to receive him. He +came on deck foaming with rage, for his dignity was hurt, and he +inquired who was the midshipman of the watch. 'Mr O'Brien,' said they +all. 'Devil a bit,' replied I, 'it was my forenoon watch.' 'Who relieved +you, sir?' said the first lieutenant. 'Devil a soul, sir,' replied I; +'for they were all too busy with their pork and beef.' 'Then why did you +leave the deck without relief?' 'Because, sir, my stomach would have had +but little relief if I had remained.' The captain, who stood by, said, +'Do you see those cross-trees, sir?' 'Is it those little bits of wood +that you mane, on the top there, captain?' 'Yes, sir; now just go up +there, and stay until I call you down. You must be brought to your +senses, young man, or you'll have but little prospect in the service.' +'I've an idea that I'll have plenty of prospect when I get up there,' +replied I, 'but it's all to please you.' So up I went, as I have many a +time since, and as you often will, Peter, just to enjoy the fresh air +and your own pleasant thoughts, all at one and the same time. + +"At last I became much more used to the manners and customs of +_say_-going people, and by the time that I had been fourteen months off +Cape See-see, I was considered a very genteel young midshipman, and my +messmates (that is, all that I could thrash, which didn't leave out +many) had a very great respect for me. + +"The first time that I put my foot on shore was at Minorca, and then I +put my foot into it (as we say), for I was nearly killed for a heretic, +and only saved by proving myself a true Catholic, which proves that +religion is a great comfort in distress, as Father M'Grath used to say. +Several of us went on shore, and having dined upon a roast turkey, +stuffed with plum-pudding (for everything else was cooked in oil, and we +could not eat it), and having drunk as much wine as would float a +jolly-boat, we ordered donkeys, to take a little equestrian exercise. +Some went off tail on end, some with their hind-quarters uppermost, and +then the riders went off instead of the donkeys; some wouldn't go off at +all; as for mine he would go--and where the devil do you think he went? +Why, into the church where all the people were at mass; the poor brute +was dying with thirst, and smelt water. As soon as he was in, +notwithstanding all my tugging and hauling, he ran his nose into the +holy-water font, and drank it all up. Although I thought, that seeing +how few Christians have any religion, you could not expect much from a +donkey, yet I was very much shocked at the sacrilege, and fearful of the +consequences. Nor was it without reason, for the people in the church +were quite horrified, as well they might be, for the brute drank as much +holy-water as would have purified the whole town of Port Mahon, suburbs +and all to boot. They rose up from their knees and seized me, calling +upon all the saints in the calendar. Although I knew what they meant, +not a word of their lingo could I speak, to plead for my life, and I was +almost torn to pieces before the priest came up. Perceiving the danger I +was in, I wiped my finger across the wet nose of the donkey, crossed +myself, and then went down on my knees to the priests, crying out _Culpa +mea_, as all good Catholics do--though 'twas no fault of mine, as I said +before, for I tried all I could, and tugged at the brute till my +strength was gone. The priests perceived by the manner in which I +crossed myself that I was a good Catholic, and guessed that it was all a +mistake of the donkey's. They ordered the crowd to be quiet, and sent +for an interpreter, when I explained the whole story. They gave me +absolution for what the donkey had done, and after that, as it was very +rare to meet an English officer who was a good Christian, I was in great +favour during my stay at Minorca, and was living in plenty, paying for +nothing, and as happy as a cricket. So the jackass proved a very good +friend, and, to reward him, I hired him every day, and galloped him all +over the island. But, at last, it occurred to me that I had broken my +leave, for I was so happy on shore that I quite forgot that I had only +permission for twenty-four hours, and I should not have remembered it so +soon, had it not been for a party of marines, headed by a sergeant, who +took me by the collar, and dragged me off my donkey. I was taken on +board, and put under an arrest for my misconduct. Now, Peter, I don't +know anything more agreeable than being put under an arrest. Nothing to +do all day but eat and drink, and please yourself, only forbid to appear +on the quarter-deck, the only place that a midshipman wishes to avoid. +Whether it was to punish me more severely, or whether he forgot all +about me, I can't tell, but it was nearly two months before I was sent +for to the cabin; and the captain, with a most terrible frown, said, +that he trusted that my punishment would be a warning to me, and that +now I might return to my duty. 'Plase your honour,' said I, 'I don't +think that I've been punished enough yet.' 'I am glad to find that you +are so penitent, but you are forgiven, so take care that you do not +oblige me to put you again in confinement.' So, as there was no +persuading him, I was obliged to return to my duty again; but I made a +resolution that I would get into another scrape again as soon as I +dared--" + +"Sail on the starboard bow!" cried the look-out man. + +"Very well," replied the master; "Mr O'Brien--where's Mr O'Brien?" + +"Is it me you mane, sir?" said O'Brien, walking up to the master, for he +had sat down so long in the topsail-halyard rack, that he was wedged in +and could not get out immediately. + +"Yes, sir; go forward, and see what that vessel is." + +"Aye, aye, sir," said O'Brien. "And Mr Simple," continued the master, +"go down and bring me up my night-glass." + +"Yes, sir," replied I. I had no idea of a night-glass; and as I observed +that about this time his servant brought him up a glass of grog, I +thought it very lucky that I knew what he meant. "Take care that you +don't break it, Mr Simple." "Oh, then, I'm all right," thought I; "he +means the tumbler." So down I went, called up the gunroom steward, and +desired him to give me a glass of grog for Mr Doball. The steward +tumbled out in his shirt, mixed the grog, and gave it to me, and I +carried it up very carefully to the quarter-deck. + +During my absence, the master had called the captain, and in pursuance +of his orders, O'Brien had called the first lieutenant, and when I came +up the ladder, they were both on deck. As I was ascending, I heard the +master say, "I have sent young Simple down for my night-glass, but he is +so long, that I suppose he has made some mistake. He's but half a fool." +"That I deny," replied Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, just as I put my +foot on the quarter-deck; "he's no fool." "Perhaps not," replied the +master. "Oh, here he is. What made you so long, Mr Simple--where is my +night-glass?" + +"Here it is, sir," replied I, handing him the tumbler of grog; "I told +the steward to make it stiff." The captain and the first lieutenant +burst out into a laugh for Mr Doball was known to be very fond of grog; +the former walked aft to conceal his mirth; but the latter remained. Mr +Doball was in a great rage. "Did not I say that the boy was half a +fool?" cried he to the first lieutenant. "At all events, I'll not allow +that he has proved himself so in this instance," replied Mr Falcon, "for +he has hit the right nail on the head." Then the first lieutenant joined +the captain, and they both went off laughing. "Put it on the capstan, +sir," said Mr Doball to me, in an angry voice. "I'll punish you +by-and-by." I was very much astonished; I hardly knew whether I had done +right or wrong; at all events, thought I to myself, I did for the best; +so I put it on the capstan and walked to my own side of the deck. The +captain and first lieutenant then went below, and O'Brien came aft. +"What vessel is it?" said I. + +"To the best of my belief, it's one of your bathing-machines going home +with despatches," replied he. + +"A bathing machine," said I; "why I thought that they were hauled up on +the beach." "That's the Brighton sort; but these are made not to go up +at all." + +"What then?" + +"Why, to _go down_, to be sure; and remarkably well they answer their +purpose. I won't puzzle you any more, my Peter--I'm spaking +helligorically, which I believe means telling a hell of a lie. It's one +of your ten-gun brigs, to the best of my knowledge." + +I then told O'Brien what had occurred, and how the master was angry with +me. O'Brien laughed very heartily, and told me never to mind, but to +keep in the lee-scuppers and watch him. "A glass of grog is a bait that +he'll play round till he gorges. When you see it to his lips, go up to +him boldly, and ask his pardon, if you have offended him, and then, if +he's a good Christian, as I believe him to be, he'll not refuse it." + +I thought this was very good advice, and I waited under the bulwark on +the lee-side. I observed that the master made shorter and shorter turns +every time, till at last he stopped at the capstan and looked at the +grog. He waited about half a minute, and then he took up the tumbler, +and drank about half of it. It was very strong, and he stopped to take +breath. I thought this was the right time, and I went up to him. The +tumbler was again to his lips, and before he saw me, I said, "I hope, +sir, you'll forgive me; I never heard of a night telescope, and knowing +that you had walked so long, I thought you were tired, and wanted +something to drink to refresh you." "Well, Mr Simple," said he, after he +had finished the glass, with a deep sigh of pleasure, "as you meant +kindly, I shall let you off this time; but recollect, that whenever you +bring me a glass of grog again, it must not be in the presence of the +captain or first lieutenant." I promised him very faithfully, and went +away quite delighted with my having made my peace with him, and more so, +that the first lieutenant had said that I was no fool for what I had +done. + +At last our watch was over, and about two bells I was relieved by the +midshipmen of the next watch. It is very unfair not to relieve in time, +but if I said a word I was certain to be thrashed the next day upon some +pretence or other. On the other hand, the midshipman whom I relieved was +also much bigger than I was, and if I was not up before one bell, I was +cut down and thrashed by him: so that between the two I kept much more +than my share of the watch, except when the master sent me to bed before +it was over. + + + + +Chapter XIII + +The first lieutenant prescribes for one of his patients, his +prescriptions consisting of _draughts_ only--O'Brien finishes the +history of his life, in which the proverb of "the more the merrier" is +sadly disproved--_Shipping_ a new pair of boots causes the _unshipping_ +of their owner--Walking home after a ball, O'Brien meets with an +accident. + + +The next morning I was on deck at seven bells, to see the hammocks +stowed, when I was witness to Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, having +recourse to one of his remedies to cure a mizen-top-boy of smoking, a +practice to which he had a great aversion. He never interfered with the +men smoking in the galley, or chewing tobacco; but he prevented the +boys, that is, lads under twenty or there-abouts, from indulging in the +habit too early. The first lieutenant smelt the tobacco as the boy +passed him on the quarter-deck. "Why, Neill, you have been smoking," +said the first lieutenant. "I thought you were aware that I did not +permit such lads as you to use tobacco." + +"If you please, sir," replied the mizen-top-man, touching his hat, "I'se +got worms, and they say that smoking be good for them." + +"Good for them!" said the first lieutenant; "yes, very good for them, +but very bad for you. Why, my good fellow, they'll thrive upon tobacco +until they grow as large as conger eels. Heat is what the worms are fond +of; but cold--cold will kill them. Now I'll cure you. Quarter-master, +come here. Walk this boy up and down the weather-gangway, and every time +you get forward abreast of the main-tack block, put his mouth to +windward, squeeze him sharp by the nape of the neck until he opens his +mouth wide, and there keep him and let the cold air blow down his +throat, while you count ten; then walk him aft, and when you are forward +again, proceed as before.--Cold kills worms, my poor boy, not tobacco--I +wonder that you are not dead by this time." + +The quarter-master, who liked the joke, as did all the seamen, seized +hold of the lad, and as soon as they arrived forward, gave him such a +squeeze of the neck as to force him to open his mouth, if it were only +to cry with pain. The wind was very fresh, and blew into his mouth so +strong, that it actually whistled while he was forced to keep it open; +and thus, he was obliged to walk up and down, cooling his inside, for +nearly two hours, when the first lieutenant sent for him, and told him, +that he thought all the worms must be dead by that time; but if they +were not, the lad was not to apply his own remedies, but come to him for +another dose. However, the boy was of the same opinion as the first +lieutenant, and never complained of worms again. + +A few nights afterwards, when we had the middle watch, O'Brien proceeded +with his story. + +"Where was it that I left off?" + +"You left off at the time that you were taken out of confinement." + +"So I did, sure enough; and it was with no good-will that I went to my +duty. However, as there was no help for it, I walked up and down the +deck as before, with my hands in my pockets, thinking of old Ireland, +and my great ancestor, Brien Borru. And so I went on behaving myself +like a real gentleman, and getting into no more scrapes, until the fleet +put into the Cove of Cork, and I found myself within a few miles of my +father's house. You may suppose that the anchor had hardly kissed the +mud, before I went to the first lieutenant, and asked leave to go on +shore. Now the first lieutenant was not in the sweetest of tempers, +seeing as how the captain had been hauling him over the coals for not +carrying on the duty according to his satisfaction. So he answered me +very gruffly, that I should not leave the ship. 'Oh, bother!' said I to +myself, 'this will never do.' So up I walked to the captain, and +touching my hat, reminded him that 'I had a father and mother, and a +pretty sprinkling of brothers and sisters, who were dying to see me, and +that I hoped that he would give me leave.' 'Ax the first lieutenant,' +said he, turning away. 'I have, sir,' replied I, 'and he says that the +devil a bit shall I put my foot on shore.' 'Then you have misbehaved +yourself,' said the captain. 'Not a bit of it, Captain Willis,' replied +I; 'it's the first lieutenant who has misbehaved.' 'How, sir?' answered +he, in an angry tone. 'Why, sir, didn't he misbehave just now in not +carrying on the duty according to your will and pleasure? and didn't you +serve him out just as he deserved--and isn't he sulky because you did-- +and arn't that the reason why I am not to go on shore? You see, your +honour, it's all true as I said; and the first lieutenant has misbehaved +and not I. I hope you will allow me to go on shore, captain, God bless +you! and make some allowance for my parental feelings towards the +arthers of my existence.' 'Have you any fault to find with Mr O'Brien?' +said the captain to the first lieutenant, as he came aft. 'No more than +I have with midshipmen in general; but I believe it is not the custom +for officers to ask leave to go on shore before the sails are furled and +the yards squared.' 'Very true,' replied the captain; 'therefore, Mr +O'Brien, you must wait until the watch is called, and then, if you ask +the first lieutenant, I have no doubt but you will have leave granted to +you to go and see your friends.' 'Thank'e kindly, sir,' replied I; and I +hoped that the yards and sails would be finished off as soon as +possible, for my heart was in my mouth, and I felt that if I had been +kept much longer, it would have flown on shore before me. + +"I thought myself very clever in this business, but I was never a +greater fool in my life; for there was no such hurry to have gone on +shore, and the first lieutenant never forgave me for appealing to the +captain--but of that by-and-by, and all in good time. At last I obtained +a grumbling assent to my going on shore, and off I went like a +sky-rocket. Being in a desperate hurry, I hired a jaunting-car to take +me to my father's house. 'Is it the O'Brien of Ballyhinch that you +mane?' inquired the spalpeen who drove the horse. 'Sure it is,' replied +I; 'and how is he, and all the noble family of the O'Briens?" 'All well +enough, bating the boy Tim, who caught a bit of confusion in his head +the other night at the fair, and now lies at home in bed quite +insensible to mate or drink; but the doctors give hopes of his recovery, +as all the O'Briens are known to have such thick heads.' 'What do you +mane by that, bad manners to you?' said I, 'but poor Tim--how did it +happen--was there a fight?' 'Not much of a fight--only a bit of a +skrummage--three crowners' inquests, no more.' 'But you are not going +the straight road, you thief,' said I, seeing that he had turned off to +the left. 'I've my reasons for that, your honour,' replied he; 'I always +turn away from the Castle out of principle--I lost a friend there, and +it makes me melancholy.' 'How came that for to happen?' 'All by +accident, your honour; they hung my poor brother Patrick there, because +he was a bad hand at arithmetic.' 'He should have gone to a better +school then,' said I. 'I've an idea that it was a bad school that he was +brought up in,' replied he, with a sigh. 'He was a cattle-dealer, your +honour, and one day, somehow or another, he'd a cow too much--all for +not knowing how to count, your honour,--bad luck to his school-master.' +'All that may be very true,' said I, 'and pace be to his soul; but I +don't see why you are to drag me, that's in such a hurry, two miles out +of my way, out of principle.' 'Is your honour in a hurry to get home? +Then I'll be thinking they'll not be in such a hurry to see you.' 'And +who told you that my name was O'Brien, you baste?--and do you dare to +say that my friends won't be glad to see me?' 'Plase your honour, it's +all an idea of mine--so say no more about it. Only this I know: Father +M'Grath, who gives me absolution, tould me the other day that I ought to +pay him, and not run in debt, and then run away like Terence O'Brien, +who went to say without paying for his shirts, and his shoes, and his +stockings, nor anything else, and who would live to be hanged as sure as +St Patrick swam over the Liffey with his head under his arm.' 'Bad luck +to that Father McGrath,' cried I; 'devil burn me, but I'll be revenged +upon him!' + +"By that time we had arrived at the door of my father's house. I paid +the rapparee, and in I popped. There was my father and mother, and all +my brothers and sisters (bating Tim, who was in bed sure enough, and +died next day), and that baste Father McGrath to boot. When my mother +saw me she ran to me and hugged me as she wept on my neck, and then she +wiped her eyes and sat down again; but nobody else said 'How d'ye do?' +or opened their mouths to me. I said to myself, 'Sure there's some +trifling mistake here,' but I held my tongue. At last they all opened +their mouths with a vengeance. My father commenced--'Ar'n't you ashamed +on yourself, Terence O'Brien?' 'Ar'n't you ashamed on yourself, Terence +O'Brien?' cried Father M'Grath. 'Ar'n't you ashamed on yourself?' cried +out all my brothers and sisters in full chorus, whilst my poor mother +put her apron to her eyes and said nothing. 'The devil a bit for myself, +but very much ashamed for you all,' replied I, 'to treat me in this +manner. What's the meaning of all this?' 'Haven't they seized my two +cows to pay for your toggery, you spalpeen?' cried my father. 'Haven't +they taken the hay to pay for your shoes and stockings?' cried Father +M'Grath. 'Haven't they taken the pig to pay for that ugly hat of yours?' +cried my eldest sister. 'And haven't they taken my hens to pay for that +dirk of yours?' cried another. 'And all our best furniture to pay for +your white shirts and black cravats?' cried Murdock, my brother. 'And +haven't we been starved to death ever since?' cried they all. 'Och +hone!' said my mother. 'The devil they have!' said I, when they'd all +done. 'Sure I'm sorry enough, but it's no fault of mine. Father, didn't +you send me to say?' 'Yes, you rapparee; but didn't you promise--or +didn't I promise for you, which is all one and the same thing--that +you'd pay it all back with your prize-money--and where is it? answer +that, Terence O'Brien.' 'Where is it, father? I'll tell you; it's where +next Christmas is--coming, but not come yet.' 'Spake to him, Father +M'Grath,' said my father. 'Is not that a lie of yours, Terence O'Brien, +that you're after telling now?' said Father McGrath; 'give me the +money.' 'It's no lie, Father McGrath; if it pleased you to die +to-morrow, the devil of a shilling have I to jingle on your tombstone +for good luck, bating those three or four, which you may divide between +you, and I threw them on the floor. + +"'Terence O'Brien,' said Father McGrath, 'its absolution that you'll be +wanting to-morrow, after all your sins and enormities; and the devil a +bit shall you have--take that now.' + +"'Father M'Grath,' replied I very angrily, 'it's no absolution that I'll +want from you, any how--take that now.' + +"'Then you have had your share of heaven; for I'll keep you out of it, +you wicked monster,' said Father M'Grath--'take that now.' + +"'If it's no better than a midshipman's berth,' replied I, 'I'd just as +soon stay out; but I'll creep in in spite of you--take that now, Father +M'Grath.' + +"'And who's to save your soul, and send you to heaven, if I don't, you +wicked wretch? but I'll see you d--d first--so take that now, Terence +O'Brien.' + +"'Then I'll turn Protestant, and damn the Pope--take that now, Father +M'Grath.' + +"At this last broadside of mine, my father and all my brothers and +sisters raised a cry of horror, and my mother burst into tears. Father +M'Grath seized hold of the pot of holy water, and dipping in the little +whisk, began to sprinkle the room, saying a Latin prayer, while they all +went on squalling at me. At last, my father seized the stool, which he +had been seated upon, and threw it at my head. I dodged, and it knocked +down Father M'Grath, who had just walked behind me in full song. I knew +that it was all over after that, so I sprang over his carcass, and +gained the door. 'Good morning to ye all, and better manners to you next +time we meet,' cried I, and off I set as fast as I could for the ship. + +"I was melancholy enough as I walked back, and thought of what had +passed. 'I need not have been in such a confounded hurry,' said I to +myself, 'to ask leave, thereby affronting the first lieutenant;' and I +was very sorry for what I had said to the priest, for my conscience +thumped me very hard at having even pretended that I'd turn Protestant, +which I never intended to do, nor never will, but live and die a good +Catholic, as all my posterity have done before me, and, as I trust, all +my ancestors will for generations to come. Well, I arrived on board, and +the first lieutenant was very savage. I hoped he would get over it, but +he never did; and he continued to treat me so ill that I determined to +quit the ship, which I did as soon as we arrived in Cawsand Bay. The +captain allowed me to go, for I told him the whole truth of the matter, +and he saw that it was true; so he recommended me to the captain of a +jackass frigate, who was in want of midshipmen." + +"What do you mean by a jackass frigate?" inquired I. + +"I mean one of your twenty-eight gun-ships, so called, because there is +as much difference between them and a real frigate, like the one we are +sailing in, as there is between a donkey and a racehorse. Well, the ship +was no sooner brought down to the dock-yard to have her ballast taken +in, than our captain came down to her--a little, thin, spare man, but a +man of weight nevertheless, for he brought a great pair of scales with +him, and weighed everything that was put on board. I forget his real +name, but the sailors christened him Captain Avoirdupois. He had a large +book, and in it he inserted the weight of the ballast, and of the shot, +water, provisions, coals, standing and running rigging, cables, and +everything else. Then he weighed all the men, and all the midshipmen, +and all the midshipmen's chests, and all the officers, with everything +belonging to them: lastly, he weighed himself, which did not add much to +the sum total. I don't exactly know what this was for; but he was always +talking about centres of gravity, displacement of fluid, and Lord knows +what. I believe it was to find out the longitude, somehow or other, but +I didn't remain long enough in her to know the end of it, for one day I +brought on board a pair of new boots, which I forgot to report that they +might be put into the scales, which swang on the gangway; and whether +the captain thought that they would sink his ship, or for what I can not +tell, but he ordered me to quit her immediately--so, there I was adrift +again. I packed up my traps and went on shore, putting on my new boots +out of spite, and trod into all the mud and mire I could meet, and +walked up and down from Plymouth to Dock until I was tired, as a +punishment to them, until I wore the scoundrels out in a fortnight. + +"One day I was in the dockyard, looking at a two-decker in the basin, +just brought forward for service, and I inquired who was to be the +captain. They told me that his name was O'Connor. Then's he's a +countryman of mine, thought I, and I'll try my luck. So I called at +Goud's Hotel, where he was lodging, and requested to speak with him. I +was admitted, and I told him, with my best bow, that I had come as a +volunteer for his ship, and that my name was O'Brien. As it happened, he +had some vacancies, and liking my brogue, he asked me in what ships I +had served. I told him, and also my reason for quitting my last--which +was, because I was turned out of it. I explained the story of the boots, +and he made inquiries, and found that it was all true; and then he gave +me a vacancy as master's mate. We were ordered to South America, and the +trade winds took us there in a jiffey. I liked my captain and officers +very much; and what was better, we took some good prizes. But somehow or +other, I never had the luck to remain long in one ship, and that by no +fault of mine; at least, not in this instance. All went on as smooth as +possible, until one day the captain took us on shore to a ball, at one +of the peaceable districts. We had a very merry night of it; but as luck +would have it, I had the morning watch to keep, and see the decks +cleaned, and as I never neglected my duty, I set off about three o'clock +in the morning, just at break of day, to go on board of the ship. I was +walking along the sands, thinking of the pretty girl that I'd been +dancing with, and had got about half way to the ship, when three +rapparees of Spanish soldiers came from behind a rock and attacked me +with their swords and bayonets. I had only my dirk, but I was not to be +run through for nothing, so I fought them as long as I could. I finished +one fellow, but at last they finished me; for a bayonet passed through +my body, and I forgot all about it. Well, it appears--for I can only say +to the best of my knowledge and belief--that after they had killed me, +they stripped me naked and buried me in the sand, carrying away with +them the body of their comrade. So there I was--dead and buried." + +"But, O'Brien," said I + +"Whist--hold your tongue--you've not heard the end of it. Well, I had +been buried about an hour--but not very deep it appears, for they were +in too great a hurry--when a fisherman and his daughter came along the +beach, on their way to the boat; and the daughter, God bless her! did me +the favour to tread upon my nose. It was clear that she had never trod +upon an Irishman's nose before, for it surprised her, and she looked +down to see what was there, and not seeing anything, she tried it again +with her foot, and then she scraped off the sand, and discovered my +pretty face. I was quite warm and still breathing, for the sand had +stopped the blood, and prevented my bleeding to death. The fisherman +pulled me out, and took me on his back to the house where the captain +and officers were still dancing. When he brought me in, there was a +great cry from the ladies, not because I was murdered, for they are used +to it in those countries, but because I was naked, which they considered +a much more serious affair. I was put to bed and a boat despatched on +board for our doctor; and in a few hours I was able to speak, and tell +them how it happened. But I was too ill to move when the ship sailed, +which she was obliged to do in a day or two afterwards, so the captain +made out my discharge, and left me there. The family were French, and I +remained with them for six months before I could obtain a passage home, +during which I learnt their language, and a very fair allowance of +Spanish to boot. When I arrived in England, I found that the prizes had +been sold, and that the money was ready for distribution. I produced my +certificate, and received £167 for my share. So it's come at last, +thought I. + +"I never had such a handful of money in my life; but I hope I shall +again very soon. I spread it out on the table as soon as I got home, and +looked at it, and then I said to myself, 'Now, Terence O'Brien, will you +keep this money to yourself, or send it home?' Then I thought of Father +M'Grath, and the stool that was thrown at my head, and I was very near +sweeping it all back into my pocket. But then I thought of my mother, +and of the cows, and the pig, and the furniture, all gone; and of my +brothers and sisters wanting praties, and I made a vow that I'd send +every farthing of it to them, after which Father M'Grath would no longer +think of not giving me absolution. So I sent them every doit, only +reserving for myself the pay which I had received, amounting to about +£30: and I never felt more happy in my life than when it was safe in the +post-office, and fairly out of my hands. I wrote a bit of a letter to my +father at the time, which was to this purpose:-- + + "'HONOURED FATHER,-- + Since our last pleasant meeting, at which you threw the stool at my + head, missing the pigeon and hitting the crow, I have been dead and + buried, but am now quite well, thank God, and want no absolution from + Father M'Grath, bad luck to him. And what's more to the point, I have + just received a batch of prize-money, the first I have handled since I + have served his Majesty, and every farthing of which I now send to + you, that you may get back your old cows, and the pig, and all the + rest of the articles seized to pay for my fitting out; so never again + ask me whether I am not ashamed of myself; more shame to you for + abusing a dutiful son like myself, who went to sea at your bidding, + and has never had a real good potato down his throat ever since. I'm a + true O'Brien, tell my mother, and don't mane to turn Protestant, but + uphold the religion of my country; although the devil may take Father + M'Grath and his holy water to boot. I sha'n't come and see you, as + perhaps you may have another stool ready for my head, and may take + better aim next time. + + So no more at present from your affectionate son, 'TERENCE O'BRIEN.'" + +"About three weeks afterwards I received a letter from my father, +telling me that I was a real O'Brien, and that if any one dared hint to +the contrary, he would break every bone in his body; that they had +received the money, and thanked me for a real gentleman as I was; that I +should have the best stool in the house next time I came, not for my +head, but for my tail; that Father M'Grath sent me his blessing, and had +given me absolution for all I had done, or should do for the next ten +years to come; that my mother had cried with joy at my dutiful +behaviour; and that all my brothers and sisters (bating Tim, who had +died the day after I left them) wished me good luck, and plenty more +prize-money to send home to them. + +"This was all very pleasant; and I had nothing left on my mind but to +get another ship; so I went to the port-admiral, and told him how it was +that I left my last: and he said, 'that being dead and buried was quite +sufficient reason for any one leaving his ship, and that he would +procure me another, now that I had come to life again.' I was sent on +board of the guard-ship, where I remained about ten days, and then was +sent round to join this frigate--and so my story's ended; and there's +eight bells striking--so the watch is ended too; jump down, Peter, and +call Robinson, and tell him that I'll trouble him to forget to go to +sleep again as he did last time, and leave me here kicking my heels, +contrary to the rules and regulations of the service." + + + + +Chapter XIV + +The first lieutenant has more patients--Mr Chucks the Boatswain, lets me +into the secret of his gentility. + + +Before I proceed with my narrative, I wish to explain to the reader that +my history was not written in after-life, when I had obtained a greater +knowledge of the world. When I first went to sea, I promised my mother +that I would keep a journal of what passed, with my reflections upon it. +To this promise I rigidly adhered, and since I have been my own master, +these journals have remained in my possession. In writing, therefore, +the early part of my adventures, everything is stated as it was +impressed on my mind at the time. Upon many points I have since had +reason to form a different opinion from that which is recorded, and upon +many others I have since laughed heartily at my folly and simplicity; +but still, I have thought it advisable to let the ideas of the period +remain, rather than correct them by those of dear-bought experience. A +boy of fifteen, brought up in a secluded country town, cannot be +expected to reason and judge as a young man who has seen much of life, +and passed through a variety of adventures. The reader must therefore +remember, that I have referred to my journal for the opinions and +feelings which guided me between each distinct anniversary of my +existence. + +We had now been cruising for six weeks, and I found that my profession +was much more agreeable than I had anticipated. My desire to please was +taken for the deed; and, although I occasionally made a blunder, yet the +captain and first lieutenant seemed to think that I was attentive to my +duty to the best of my ability, and only smiled at my mistakes. I also +discovered, that, however my natural capacity may have been estimated by +my family, that it was not so depreciated here; and every day I felt +more confidence in myself, and hoped, by attention and diligence, to +make up for a want of natural endowment. There certainly is something in +the life of a sailor which enlarges the mind. When I was at home six +months before, I allowed other people to think for me, and acted wholly +on the leading-strings of their suggestions; on board, to the best of my +ability, I thought for myself. I became happy with my messmates--those +who were harsh upon me left off, because I never resented their conduct, +and those who were kind to me were even kinder than before. The time +flew away quickly, I suppose, because I knew exactly what I had to do, +and each day was the forerunner of the ensuing. The first lieutenant was +one of the most amusing men I ever knew, yet he never relaxed from the +discipline of the service, or took the least liberty with either his +superiors or inferiors. His humour was principally shown in his various +modes of punishment; and, however severe the punishment was to the +party, the manner of inflicting it was invariably a source of amusement +to the remainder of the ship's company. I often thought, that although +no individual liked being punished, yet, that all the ship's company +were quite pleased when a punishment took place. He was very particular +about his decks; they were always as white as snow, and nothing +displeased him so much as their being soiled. It was for that reason +that he had such an objection to the use of tobacco. There were +spitting-pans placed in different parts of the decks for the use of the +men, that they might not dirty the planks with the tobacco-juice. +Sometimes a man in his hurry forgot to use these pans, but, as the mess +to which the stain might be opposite had their grog stopped if the party +were not found out, they took good care not only to keep a look-out, but +to inform against the offender. Now the punishment for the offence was +as follows--the man's hands were tied behind his back, and a large tin +spitting-box fixed to his chest by a strap over the shoulders. All the +other boxes on the lower deck were taken away, and he was obliged to +walk there, ready to attend the summons of any man who might wish to +empty his mouth of the tobacco-juice. The other men were so pleased at +the fancy, that they spat twice as much as before, for the pleasure of +making him run about. Mr Chucks, the boatswain, called it "the first +lieutenant's _perambulating_ spitting-pan." He observed to me one day, +"that really Mr Falcon was such an _epicure_ about his decks, that he +was afraid to pudding an anchor on the forecastle." + +I was much amused one morning watch that I kept. We were stowing the +hammocks in the quarter-deck nettings, when one of the boys came up with +his hammock on his shoulder, and as he passed the first lieutenant, the +latter perceived that he had a quid of tobacco in his cheek. "What have +you got there, my good lad--a gum-boil?--your cheek is very much +swelled." "No, sir," replied the boy, "there's nothing at all the +matter." "O there must be; it is a bad tooth, then. Open your mouth, and +let me see." Very reluctantly the boy opened his mouth, and discovered a +large roll of tobacco-leaf. "I see, I see," said the first lieutenant, +"your mouth wants overhauling, and your teeth cleaning. I wish we had a +dentist on board; but as we have not, I will operate as well as I can. +Send the armourer up here with his tongs." When the armourer made his +appearance, the boy was made to open his mouth, while the chaw of +tobacco was extracted with his rough instrument. "There now," said the +first lieutenant, "I'm sure that you must feel better already; you never +could have had any appetite. Now, captain of the afterguard, bring a +piece of old canvas and some sand here, and clean his teeth nicely." The +captain of the afterguard came forward, and putting the boy's head +between his knees, scrubbed his teeth well with the sand and canvas for +two or three minutes. "There, that will do," said the first lieutenant. +"Now, my little fellow, your mouth is nice and clean, and you'll enjoy +your breakfast. It was impossible for you to have eaten anything with +your mouth in such a nasty state. When it's dirty again, come to me, and +I'll be your dentist." + +One day I was on the forecastle with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was +very kind to me. He had been showing me how to make the various knots +and bends of rope which are used in our service. I am afraid that I was +very stupid, but he showed me over and over again, until I learnt how to +make them. Amongst others, he taught me a fisherman's bend, which he +pronounced to be the _king_ of all knots; "and, Mr Simple," continued +he, "there is a moral in that knot. You observe, that when the parts are +drawn the right way, and together, the more you pull the faster they +hold, and the more impossible to untie them; but see, by hauling them +apart, how a little difference, a pull the other way, immediately +disunites them, and then how easy they cast off in a moment. That points +out the necessity of pulling together in this world, Mr Simple, when we +wish to hold on, and that's a piece of philosophy worth all the +twenty-six thousand and odd years of my friend the carpenter, which +leads to nothing but a brown study, when he ought to be attending to his +duty." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks, you are the better philosopher of the two." + +"I am the better educated, Mr Simple, and I trust, more of a gentleman. +I consider a gentleman to be, to a certain degree, a philosopher, for +very often he is obliged, to support his character as such, to put up +with what another person may very properly fly in a passion about. I +think coolness is the great character-stick of a gentleman. In the +service, Mr Simple, one is obliged to appear angry without indulging the +sentiment. I can assure you, that I never lose my temper, even when I +use my rattan." + +"Why, then, Mr Chucks, do you swear so much at the men? Surely that is +not gentlemanly?" + +"Most certainly not, sir. But I must defend myself by observing the very +artificial state in which we live on board of a man-of-war. Necessity, +my dear Mr Simple, has no law. You must observe how gently I always +commence when I have to find fault. I do that to prove my gentility; +but, sir, my zeal for the service obliges me to alter my language, to +prove in the end that I am in earnest. Nothing would afford me more +pleasure than to be able to carry on the duty as a gentleman, but that's +impossible." + +"I really cannot see why." + +"Perhaps, then, Mr Simple, you will explain to me why the captain and +first lieutenant swear." + +"That I do not pretend to answer, but they only do so upon an +emergency." + +"Exactly so; but, sir, their 'mergency is my daily and hourly duty. In +the continual working of the ship I am answerable for all that goes +amiss. The life of a boatswain is a life of 'mergency, and therefore I +swear." + +"I still cannot allow it to be requisite, and certainly it is sinful." + +"Excuse me, my dear sir; it is absolutely requisite, and not at all +sinful. There is one language for the pulpit, and another for on board +ship, and, in either situation, a man must make use of those terms most +likely to produce the necessary effect upon his listeners. Whether it is +from long custom of the service, or from the indifference of a sailor to +all common things and language (I can't exactly explain myself, Mr +Simple, but I know what I mean), perhaps constant excitement may do, and +therefore he requires more 'stimilis,' as they call it, to make him +move. Certain it is, that common parlancy won't do with a common seaman. +It is not here as in the scriptures, 'Do this, and he doeth it' (by the +bye, that chap must have had his soldiers in tight order); but it is, +'Do this, d--n your eyes,' and then it is done directly. The order to +_do_ just carries the weight of a cannon-shot, but it wants the +perpelling power--the d--n is the gunpowder which sets it flying in the +execution of its duty. Do you comprehend me, Mr Simple?" + +"I perfectly understand you, Mr Chucks, and I cannot help remarking, and +that without flattery, that you are very different from the rest of the +warrant officers. Where did you receive your education?" + +"Mr Simple, I am here a boatswain with a clean shirt, and, I say it +myself, and no one dare gainsay it, also with a thorough knowledge of my +duty. But although I do not say that I ever was better off, I can say +this, that I've been in the best society, in the company of lords and +ladies. I once dined with your grandfather." + +"That's more than ever I did, for he never asked me, nor took the least +notice of me," replied I. + +"What I state is true. I did not know that he was your grandfather until +yesterday, when I was talking with Mr O'Brien; but I perfectly recollect +him, although I was very young at that time. Now, Mr Simple, if you will +promise me as a gentleman (and I know you are one), that you will not +repeat what I tell you, then I'll let you into the history of my life." + +"Mr Chucks, as I am a gentleman I never will divulge it until you are +dead and buried, and not then if you do not wish it." + +"When I am dead and buried, you may do as you please; it may then be of +service to other people, although my story is not a very long one." + +Mr Chucks then sat down upon the fore-end of the booms by the funnel, +and I took my place by his side, when he commenced as follows:-- + +"My father was a boatswain before me--one of the old school, rough as a +bear, and drunken as a Gosport fiddler. My mother was--my mother, and I +shall say no more. My father was invalided for harbour duty after a life +of intoxication, and died shortly afterwards. In the meantime I had +been, by the kindness of the port-admiral's wife, educated at a +foundation school. I was thirteen when my father died, and my mother, +not knowing what to do with me, wished to bind me apprentice to a +merchant vessel; but this I refused, and, after six months' quarrelling +on the subject, I decided the point by volunteering in the _Narcissus_ +frigate. I believe that my gentlemanly ideas were innate, Mr Simple; I +never, as a child, could bear the idea of the merchant service. After I +had been a week on board, I was appointed servant to the purser, where I +gave such satisfaction by my alertness and dexterity, that the first +lieutenant took me away from the purser to attend upon himself, so that +in two months I was a person of such consequence as to create a +disturbance in the gunroom, for the purser was very angry, and many of +the officers took his part. It was whispered that I was the son of the +first lieutenant, and that he was aware of it. How far that may be true +I know not, but there was a likeness between us; and my mother, who was +a very pretty woman, attended his ship many years before as a bumboat +girl. I can't pretend to say anything about it, but this I do say, Mr +Simple--and many will blame me for it, but I can't help my natural +feelings--that I had rather be the bye-blow of a gentleman, than the +'gitimate offspring of a boatswain and his wife. There's no chance of +good blood in your veins in the latter instance, whereas, in the former +you may have stolen a drop or two. It so happened, that after I had +served the first lieutenant for about a year, a young lord (I must not +mention his name, Mr Simple) was sent to sea by his friends, or by his +own choice, I don't know which, but I was told that his uncle, who was +'zeckative, and had an interest in his death, persuaded him to go. A +lord at that period, some twenty-five years ago, was a rarity in the +service, and they used to salute him when he came on board. The +consequence was, that the young lord must have a servant to himself, +although all the rest of the midshipmen had but one servant between +them. The captain inquired who was the best boy in the ship, and the +purser, to whom he appealed, recommended me. Accordingly, much to the +annoyance of the first lieutenant (for first lieutenants in those days +did not assume as they do now, not that I refer to Mr Falcon, who is a +gentleman), I was immediately surrendered to his lordship. I had a very +easy, comfortable life of it--I did little or nothing; if inquired for +when all hands were turned up, I was cleaning his lordship's boots, or +brushing his lordship's clothes, and there was nothing to be said when +his lordship's name was mentioned. We went to the Mediterranean (because +his lordship's mamma wished it), and we had been there about a year, +when his lordship ate so many grapes that he was seized with a +dysentery. He was ill for three weeks, and then he requested to be sent +to Malta in a transport going to Gibraltar, or rather to the Barbary +coast, for bullocks. He became worse every day, and made his will, +leaving me all his effects on board, which I certainly deserved for the +kindness with which I had nursed him. Off Malta we fell in with a +xebeque, bound to Civita Vecchia, and the captain of the transport, +anxious to proceed, advised our going on board of her, as the wind was +light and contrary, and these Mediterranean vessels sailed better on a +wind than the transport. My master, who was now sinking fast, consented, +and we changed our ships. The next day he died, and a gale of wind came +on, which prevented us from gaining the port for several days, and the +body of his lordship not only became so offensive, but affected the +superstition of the Catholic sailors so much, that it was hove +overboard. None of the people could speak English, nor could I speak +Maltese; they had no idea who we were, and I had plenty of time for +cogitation. I had often thought what a fine thing it was to be a lord, +and as often wished that I had been born one. The wind was still against +us, when a merchant vessel ran down to us, that had left Civita Vecchia +for Gibraltar. I desired the captain of the xebeque to make a signal of +distress, or rather I did myself, and the vessel, which proved to be +English, bore down to us. + +"I manned the boat to go on board, and the idea came into my head, that, +although they might refuse to take me, they would not refuse a lord. I +put on the midshipman's uniform belonging to his lordship (but then +certainly belonging to me), and went alongside of the merchant vessel; I +told them that I had left my ship for the benefit of my health, and +wanted a passage to Gibraltar, on my way home. My title, and immediate +acceptance of the terms demanded for my passage, was sufficient. My +property was brought from the xebeque; and, of course, as they could not +speak English, they could not contradict, even if they suspected. Here, +Mr Simple, I must acknowledge a slight flaw in my early history, which I +impart to you in confidence; or otherwise I should not have been able to +prove that I was correct in asserting that I had dined with your +grandfather. But the temptation was too strong, and I could not resist. +Think yourself, Mr Simple, after having served as a ship's boy clouted +here, kicked there, damned by one, and sent to hell by another--to find +myself treated with such respect and deference, and my lorded this and +my lorded that, every minute of the day. During my passage to Gibraltar, +I had plenty of time for arranging my plans. I hardly need say that my +lord's _kit_ was valuable; and what was better, they exactly fitted me. +I also had his watches and trinkets, and many other things, besides a +bag of dollars. However, they were honestly mine; the only thing that I +took was his name, which he had no further occasion for, poor fellow! +But it's no use defending what was wrong--it was dishonest, and there's +an end of it. + +"Now observe, Mr Simple, how one thing leads to another. I declare to +you, that my first idea of making use of his lordship's name, was to +procure a passage to Gibraltar. I then was undecided how to act; but, as +I had charge of his papers and letters to his mother and guardian, I +think--indeed I am almost sure--that I should have laid aside my dignity +and midshipman's dress, and applied for a passage home to the +commissioner of the yard. But it was fated to be otherwise; for the +master of the transport went on shore to report and obtain pratique, and +he told them everywhere that young Lord A---- was a passenger with him, +going to England for the benefit of his health. In less than +half-an-hour, off came the commissioner's boat, and another boat from +the governor, requesting the honour of my company, and that I would take +a bed at their houses during my stay. What could I do? I began to be +frightened; but I was more afraid to confess that I was an impostor, for +I am sure the master of the transport alone would have kicked me +overboard, if I had let him know that he had been so confounded polite +to a ship's boy. So I blushed half from modesty and half from guilt, and +accepted the invitation of the governor; sending a polite verbal refusal +to the commissioner, upon the plea of there being no paper or pens on +board. I had so often accompanied my late master, that I knew very well +how to conduct myself, and had borrowed a good deal of his air and +appearance--indeed, I had a natural taste for gentility. I could write +and read; not perhaps so well as I ought to have done, considering the +education I had received, but still quite well enough for a lord, and +indeed much better than my late master. I knew his signature well +enough, although the very idea of being forced to use it made me +tremble. However, the die was cast. I ought to observe, that in one +point we were not unlike--both had curly light hair and blue eyes; in +other points there was no resemblance. I was by far the better-looking +chap of the two; and as we had been up the Mediterranean for two years, +I had no fear of any doubt as to my identity until I arrived in England. +Well, Mr Simple, I dressed myself very carefully, put on my chains and +rings, and a little perfume on my handkerchief, and accompanied the +aide-de-camp to the governor's, where I was asked after my mother, Lady +----, and my uncle, my guardian, and a hundred other questions. At +first I was much confused, which was attributed to bashfulness; and so +it was, but not of the right sort. But before the day was over, I had +become so accustomed to be called 'my lord,' and to my situation, that I +was quite at my ease, and began to watch the motions and behaviour of +the company, that I might regulate my comportment by that of good +society. I remained at Gibraltar for a fortnight, and then was offered a +passage in a transport ordered to Portsmouth. Being an officer, of +course it was free to a certain extent. On my passage to England, I +again made up my mind that I would put off my dress and title as soon as +I could escape from observation; but I was prevented as before. The +port-admiral sent off to request the pleasure of my company to dinner. I +dared not refuse; and there I was, my lord, as before, courted and +feasted by everybody. Tradesmen called to request the honour of my +lordship's custom; my table at the hotel was covered with cards of all +descriptions; and, to confess the truth, I liked my situation so much, +and had been so accustomed to it, that I now began to dislike the idea +that one day or other I must resign it, which I determined to do as soon +as I quitted the place. My bill at the hotel was very extravagant, and +more than I could pay: but the master said it was not of the least +consequence; that of course his lordship had not provided himself with +cash, just coming from foreign parts, and offered to supply me with +money if I required it. This, I will say, I was honest enough to refuse. +I left my cards, P.P.C., as they do, Mr Simple, in all well-regulated +society, and set off in the mail for London, where I fully resolved to +drop my title, and to proceed to Scotland to his lordship's mother, with +the mournful intelligence of his death--for you see, Mr Simple, no one +knew that his lordship was dead. The captain of the transport had put +him into the xebeque alive, and the vessel bound to Gibraltar had +received him, as they imagined. The captain of the frigate had very soon +afterwards advices from Gibraltar, stating his lordship's recovery and +return to England. Well, I had not been in the coach more than five +minutes, when who should get in but a gentleman whom I had met at the +port-admiral's; besides which the coachman and others knew me very well. +When I arrived in London (I still wore my midshipman's uniform), I went +to an hotel recommended to me, as I afterwards found out, the most +fashionable in town, my title still following me. I now determined to +put off my uniform, and dress in plain clothes--my farce was over. I +went to bed that night, and the next morning made my appearance in a +suit of mufti, making inquiry of the waiter which was the best +conveyance to Scotland. + +"'Post chay and four, my lord. At what time shall I order it?' + +"'O,' replied I, 'I am not sure that I shall go tomorrow.' + +"Just at this moment in came the master of the hotel, with the _Morning +Post_ in his hand, making me a low bow, and pointing to the insertion of +my arrival at his hotel among the fashionables. This annoyed me; and now +that I found how difficult it was to get rid of my title, I became +particularly anxious to be William Chucks, as before. Before +twelve o'clock, three or four gentlemen were ushered into my +sitting-room, who observing my arrival in that damn'd _Morning Post_, +came to pay their respects; and before the day was over I was invited +and re-invited by a dozen people. I found that I could not retreat, and +I went away with the stream, as I did before at Gibraltar and +Portsmouth. For three weeks I was everywhere; and if I found it +agreeable at Portsmouth, how much more so in London! But I was not +happy, Mr Simple, because I was a cheat, every moment expecting to be +found out. But it really was a nice thing to be a lord. + +"At last the play was over. I had been enticed by some young men into a +gambling-house, where they intended to fleece me; but, for the first +night, they allowed me to win, I think, about £300. I was quite +delighted with my success, and had agreed to meet them the next evening; +but when I was at breakfast, with my legs crossed, reading the _Morning +Post_, who should come to see me but my guardian uncle. He knew his +nephew's features too well to be deceived; and my not recognising him +proved at once that I was an impostor. You must allow me to hasten over +the scene which took place--the wrath of the uncle, the confusion in the +hotel, the abuse of the waiters, the police officer, and being dragged +into a hackney coach to Bow-street. There I was examined and confessed +all. The uncle was so glad to find that his nephew was really dead, that +he felt no resentment towards me; and as, after all, I had only assumed +a name, but had cheated nobody, except the landlord at Portsmouth, I was +sent on board the tender off the Tower, to be drafted into a man-of-war. +As for my £300, my clothes, &c., I never heard any more of them; they +were seized, I presume, by the landlord of the hotel for my bill, and +very handsomely he must have paid himself. I had two rings on my +fingers, and a watch in my pocket, when I was sent on board the tender, +and I stowed them away very carefully. I had also a few pounds in my +purse. I was sent round to Plymouth, where I was drafted into a frigate. +After I had been there some time, I turned the watch and rings into +money, and bought myself a good kit of clothes; for I could not bear to +be dirty. I was put into the mizen-top, and no one knew that I had been +a lord." + +"You found some difference, I should think, in your situation?" + +"Yes, I did, Mr Simple; but I was much happier. I could not forget the +ladies, and the dinners, and the opera, and all the delights of London, +beside the respect paid to my title, and I often sighed for them; but +the police officer and Bow-street also came to my recollection, and I +shuddered at the remembrance. It had, however, one good effect; I +determined to be an officer if I could, and learnt my duty, and worked +my way up to quarter-master, and thence to boatswain--and I know my +duty, Mr Simple. But I've been punished for my folly ever since. I +formed ideas above my station in life, and cannot help longing to be a +gentleman. It's a bad thing for a man to have ideas above his station." + +"You certainly must find some difference between the company in London +and that of the warrant officers." + +"It's many years back now, sir; but I can't get over the feeling. I +can't 'sociate with them at all. A man may have the feelings of a +gentleman, although in a humble capacity; but how can I be intimate with +such people as Mr Dispart or Mr Muddle, the carpenter? All very well in +their way, Mr Simple, but what can you expect from officers who boil +their 'tators in a cabbage-net hanging in the ship's coppers, when they +know that there is one-third of a stove allowed them to cook their +victuals on?" + + + + +Chapter XV + +I go on service and am made prisoner by an old lady, who, not able to +obtain my hand, takes part of my finger as a token--O'Brien rescues me-- +A lee shore and narrow escape. + + +Two or three days after this conversation with Mr Chucks, the captain +ran the frigate in shore, and when within five miles we discovered two +vessels under the land. We made all sail in chase, and cut them off from +escaping round a sandy point which they attempted to weather. Finding +that they could not effect their purpose, they ran on shore under a +small battery of two guns, which commenced firing upon us. The first +shot which whizzed between the masts had to me a most terrific sound, +but the officers and men laughed at it, so of course I pretended to do +the same, but in reality I could see nothing to laugh at. The captain +ordered the starboard watch to be piped to quarters, and the boats to be +cleared, ready for hoisting out; we then anchored within a mile of the +battery, and returned the fire. In the meantime, the remainder of the +ship's company hoisted out and lowered down four boats, which were +manned and armed to storm the battery. I was very anxious to go on +service, and O'Brien, who had command of the first cutter, allowed me to +go with him, on condition that I stowed myself away under the +foresheets, that the captain might not see me before the boats had +shoved off. This I did, and was not discovered. We pulled in abreast +towards the battery, and in less than ten minutes the boats were run on +the beach, and we jumped out. The Frenchmen fired a gun at us as we +pulled close to the shore, and then ran away, so that we took possession +without any fighting, which, to confess the truth, I was not sorry for, +as I did not think that I was old or strong enough to cope hand to hand +with a grown-up man. There were a few fishermen's huts close to the +battery, and while two of the boats went on board of the vessels, to see +if they could be got off, and others were spiking the guns and +destroying the carriages, I went with O'Brien to examine them: they were +deserted by the people, as might have been supposed, but there was a +great quantity of fish in them, apparently caught that morning. O'Brien +pointed to a very large skate--"Murder in Irish!" cried he, "it's the +very ghost of my grandmother! we'll have her if it's only for the family +likeness. Peter, put your finger into the gills, and drag her down to +the boat." I could not force my finger into the gills, and as the animal +appeared quite dead, I hooked my finger into its mouth; but I made a sad +mistake, for the animal was alive, and immediately closed its jaws, +nipping my finger to the bone, and holding it so tight that I could not +withdraw it, and the pain was too great to allow me to pull it away by +main force, and tear my finger, which it held so fast. There I was, +caught in a trap, and made a prisoner by a flat-fish. Fortunately, I +hallooed loud enough to make O'Brien, who was close down to the boats, +with a large codfish under each arm, turn round and come to my +assistance. At first he could not help me, from laughing so much; but at +last he forced open the jaw of the fish with his cutlass, and I got my +finger out, but very badly torn indeed. I then took off my garter, tied +it round the tail of the skate, and dragged it to the boat, which was +all ready to shove off. The other boats had found it impossible to get +the vessels off without unloading--so, in pursuance of the captain's +orders, they were set on fire, and before we lost sight of them, had +burnt down to the water's edge. My finger was very bad for three weeks, +and the officers laughed at me very much, saying that I narrowly escaped +being made a prisoner of by an "old maid." + +We continued our cruise along the coast, until we had run down into the +Bay of Arcason, where we captured two or three vessels, and obliged many +more to run on shore. And here we had an instance showing, how very +important it is that a captain of a man-of-war should be a good sailor, +and have his ship in such discipline as to be strictly obeyed by his +ship's company. I heard the officers unanimously assert, after the +danger was over, that nothing but the presence of mind which was shown +by Captain Savage could have saved the ship and her crew. We had chased +a convoy of vessels to the bottom of the bay: the wind was very fresh +when we hauled off, after running them on shore, and the surf on the +beach even at that time was so great, that they were certain to go to +pieces before they could be got afloat again. We were obliged to +double-reef the topsails as soon as we hauled to the wind, and the +weather looked very threatening. In an hour afterwards, the whole sky +was covered with one black cloud, which sank so low as nearly to touch +our mast-heads, and a tremendous sea, which appeared to have risen up +almost by magic, rolled in upon us, setting the vessel on a dead lee +shore. As the night closed in, it blew a dreadful gale, and the ship was +nearly buried with the press of canvas which she was obliged to carry; +for had we sea-room, we should have been lying-to under storm staysails; +but we were forced to carry on at all risks, that we might claw off +shore. The sea broke over as we lay in the trough, deluging us with +water from the forecastle, aft to the binnacles; and very often as the +ship descended with a plunge, it was with such force that I really +thought she would divide in half with the violence of the shock. Double +breechings were rove on the guns, and they were further secured with +tackles, and strong cleats nailed behind the trunnions, for we heeled +over so much when we lurched, that the guns were wholly supported by the +breechings and tackles, and had one of them broken loose, it must have +burst right through the lee side of the ship, and she must have +foundered. The captain, first lieutenant, and most of the officers, +remained on deck during the whole of the night; and really, what with +the howling of the wind, the violence of the rain, the washing of the +water about the decks, the working of the chain-pumps, and the creaking +and groaning of the timbers, I thought that we must inevitably have been +lost; and I said my prayers at least a dozen times during the night, for +I felt it impossible to go to bed. I had often wished, out of curiosity, +that I might be in a gale of wind, but I little thought it was to have +been a scene of this description, or anything half so dreadful. What +made it more appalling was, that we were on a lee shore, and the +consultations of the captain and officers, and the eagerness with which +they looked out for daylight, told us that we had other dangers to +encounter besides the storm. At last the morning broke, and the look-out +man upon the gangway called out, "Land on the lee beam." I perceived the +master dash his fist against the hammock-rails, as if with vexation, and +walk away without saying a word, and looking very grave. + +"Up, there, Mr Wilson," said the captain, to the second lieutenant, "and +see how far the land trends forward, and whether you can distinguish the +point." The second lieutenant went up the main-rigging, and pointed with +his hand to about two points before the beam. + +"Do you see two hillocks inland?" + +"Yes, sir," replied the second lieutenant. + +"Then it is so," observed the captain to the master, "and if we weather +it, we shall have more sea-room. Keep her full, and let her go through +the water; do you hear, quarter-master?" + +"Ay, ay, sir." + +"Thus, and no nearer, my man. Ease her with a spoke or two when she +sends; but be careful, or she'll take the wheel out of your hands." + +It really was a very awful sight. When the ship was in the trough of the +sea, you could distinguish nothing but a waste of tumultuous water; but +when she was borne up on the summit of the enormous waves, you then +looked down, as it were, upon a low, sandy coast, close to you, and +covered with foam and breakers. "She behaves nobly," observed the +captain, stepping aft to the binnacle, and looking at the compass; "if +the wind does not baffle us, we shall weather." The captain had scarcely +time to make the observation, when the sails shivered and flapped like +thunder. "Up with the helm; what are you about, quarter-master?" + +"The wind has headed us, sir," replied the quarter-master, coolly. + +The captain and master remained at the binnacle watching the compass, +and when the sails were again full, she had broken off two points, and +the point of land was only a little on the lee bow. + +"We must wear her round, Mr Falcon. Hands, wear ship--ready, oh, ready." + +"She has come up again," cried the master, who was at the binnacle. + +"Hold fast there a minute. How's her head now?" + +"N.N.E., as she was before she broke off, sir." + +"Pipe belay," said the captain. "Falcon," continued he, "if she breaks +off again we may have no room to wear; indeed there is so little room +now, that I must run the risk. Which cable was ranged last night--the +best bower?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Jump down, then, and see it double-bitted and stoppered at thirty +fathoms. See it well done--our lives may depend upon it." + +The ship continued to hold her course good; and we were within half a +mile of the point, and fully expected to weather it, when again the wet +and heavy sails flapped in the wind, and the ship broke off two points +as before. The officers and seamen were aghast, for the ship's head was +right on to the breakers. "Luff now, all you can, quarter-master," cried +the captain. "Send the men aft directly. My lads, there is no time for +words--I am going to _club-haul_ the ship, for there is no room to wear. +The only chance you have of safety is to be cool, watch my eye, and +execute my orders with precision. Away to your stations for tacking +ship. Hands by the best bower anchor. Mr Wilson, attend below with the +carpenter and his mates, ready to cut away the cable at the moment that +I give the order. Silence, there, fore and aft. Quarter-master, keep her +full again for stays. Mind you ease the helm down when I tell you." +About a minute passed before the captain gave any further orders. The +ship had closed--to within a quarter of a mile of the beach, and the +waves curled and topped around us, bearing us down upon the shore, which +presented one continued surface of foam, extending to within half a +cable's length of our position. The captain waved his hand in silence to +the quarter-master at the wheel, and the helm was put down. The ship +turned slowly to the wind, pitching and chopping as the sails were +spilling. When she had lost her way, the captain gave the order, "Let go +the anchor. We will haul all at once, Mr Falcon," said the captain. Not +a word was spoken, the men went to the fore brace, which had not been +manned; most of them knew, although I did not, that if the ship's head +did not go round the other way, we should be on shore, and among the +breakers in half a minute. I thought at the time that the captain had +said that he would haul all the yards at once, there appeared to be +doubt or dissent on the countenance of Mr Falcon; and I was afterwards +told that he had not agreed with the captain, but he was too good an +officer, and knew that there was no time for discussion, to make any +remark; and the event proved that the captain was right. At last the +ship was head to wind, and the captain gave the signal. The yards flew +round with such a creaking noise, that I thought the masts had gone over +the side, and the next moment the wind had caught the sails, and the +ship, which for a moment or two had been on an even keel, careened over +to her gunnel with its force. The captain, who stood upon the +weather-hammock rails, holding by the main-rigging, ordered the helm +amidships, looked full at the sails, and then at the cable, which grew +broad upon the weather bow, and held the ship from nearing the shore. At +last he cried, "Cut away the cable!" A few strokes of the axes were +heard, and then the cable flew out of the hawsehole in a blaze of fire, +from the violence of the friction, and disappeared under a huge wave, +which struck us on the chess-tree, and deluged us with water fore and +aft. But we were now on the other tack, and the ship regained her way +and we had evidently increased our distance from the land. "My lads," +said the captain to the ship's company, "you have behaved well, and I +thank you; but I must tell you honestly that we have more difficulties +to get through. We have to weather a point of the bay on this tack. Mr +Falcon, splice the main-brace, and call the watch. How's her head, +quarter-master?" + +"S.W. by S. Southerly, sir." + +"Very well; let her go through the water;" and the captain, beckoning to +the master to follow him, went down into the cabin. As our immediate +danger was over, I went down into the berth to see if I could get +anything for breakfast, where I found O'Brien and two or three more. + +"By the powers, it was as nate a thing as ever I saw done," observed +O'Brien: "the slightest mistake as to time or management, and at this +moment the flatfish would have been dubbing at our ugly carcases. Peter, +you're not fond of flatfish, are you, my boy? We may thank Heaven and +the captain, I can tell you that, my lads; but now, where's the chart, +Robinson? Hand me down the parallel rules and compasses, Peter; they are +in the corner of the shelf. Here we are now, a devilish sight too near +this infernal point. Who knows how her head is?" + +"I do, O'Brien: I heard the quarter-master tell the captain S.W. by S. +Southerly." + +"Let me see," continued O'Brien, "variation 2 1/4 lee way--rather too +large an allowance of that, I'm afraid; but, however, we'll give her 2 +1/2 points; the _Diomede_ would blush to make any more, under any +circumstances. Here--the compass--now we'll see;" and O'Brien advanced +the parallel rule from the compass to the spot where the ship was placed +on the chart. "Bother! you see it's as much as she'll do to weather the +other point now, on this tack, and that's what the captain meant, when +he told us we had more difficulty. I could have taken my Bible oath that +we were clear of everything, if the wind held." + +"See what the distance is, O'Brien," said Robinson. It was measured, and +proved to be thirteen miles. "Only thirteen miles; and if we do weather, +we shall do very well, for the bay is deep beyond. It's a rocky point, +you see, just by way of variety. Well, my lads, I've a piece of comfort +for you, anyhow. It's not long that you'll be kept in suspense, for by +one o'clock this day, you'll either be congratulating each other upon +your good luck, or you'll be past praying for. Come, put up the chart, +for I hate to look at melancholy prospects; and, steward, see what you +can find in the way of comfort." Some bread and cheese, with the remains +of yesterday's boiled pork, were put on the table, with a bottle of rum, +procured at the time they "spliced the mainbrace;" but we were all too +anxious to eat much, and one by one returned on deck to see how the +weather was, and if the wind at all favoured us. On deck the superior +officers were in conversation with the captain, who had expressed the +same fear that O'Brien had in our berth. The men, who knew what they had +to expect--for this sort of intelligence is soon communicated through a +ship--were assembled in knots, looking very grave, but at the same time +not wanting in confidence. They knew that they could trust to the +captain, as far as skill or courage could avail them, and sailors are +too sanguine to despair, even at the last moment. As for myself, I felt +such admiration for the captain, after what I had witnessed that +morning, that, whenever the idea came over me, that in all probability I +should be lost in a few hours, I could not help acknowledging how much +more serious it was that such a man should be lost to his country. I do +not intend to say that it consoled me; but it certainly made me still +more regret the chances with which we were threatened. + +Before twelve o'clock, the rocky point which we so much dreaded was in +sight, broad on the lee-bow; and if the low sandy coast appeared +terrible, how much more did this, even at a distance: the black masses +of rock, covered with foam, which each minute dashed up in the air, +higher than our lower mast-heads. The captain eyed it for some minutes +in silence, as if in calculation. + +"Mr Falcon," said he at last, "we must put the mainsail on her." + +"She never can bear it, sir." + +"She _must_ bear it," was the reply. "Send the men aft to the mainsheet. +See that careful men attend the buntlines." + +The mainsail was set, and the effect of it upon the ship was tremendous. +She careened over so that her lee channels were under the water, and +when pressed by a sea, the lee-side of the quarter-deck and gangway were +afloat. She now reminded me of a goaded and fiery horse, mad with the +stimulus applied; not rising as before, but forcing herself through +whole seas, and dividing the waves, which poured in one continual +torrent from the forecastle down upon the decks below. Four men were +secured to the wheel--the sailors were obliged to cling, to prevent +being washed away--the ropes were thrown in confusion to leeward, the +shot rolled out of the lockers, and every eye was fixed aloft, watching +the masts, which were expected every moment to go over the side. A heavy +sea struck us on the broadside, and it was some moments before the ship +appeared to recover herself; she reeled, trembled, and stopped her way, +as if it had stupefied her. The first lieutenant looked at the captain, +as if to say, "This will not do." "It is our only chance," answered the +captain to the appeal. That the ship went faster through the water, and +held a better wind, was certain; but just before we arrived at the point +the gale increased in force. "If anything starts, we are lost, sir," +observed the first lieutenant again. + +"I am perfectly aware of it," replied the captain, in a calm tone; "but, +as I said before, and you must now be aware, it is our only chance. The +consequence of any carelessness or neglect in the fitting and securing +of the rigging, will be felt now; and this danger, if we escape it, +ought to remind us how much we have to answer for if we neglect our +duty. The lives of a whole ship's company may be sacrificed by the +neglect or incompetence of an officer when in harbour. I will pay you +the compliment, Falcon, to say, that I feel convinced that the masts of +the ship are as secure as knowledge and attention can make them." + +The first lieutenant thanked the captain for his good opinion, and hoped +it would not be the last compliment which he paid him. + +"I hope not too; but a few minutes will decide the point." + +The ship was now within two cables' lengths of the rocky point; some few +of the men I observed to clasp their hands, but most of them were +silently taking off their jackets, and kicking off their shoes, that +they might not lose a chance of escape provided the ship struck. + +"'Twill be touch and go indeed, Falcon," observed the captain (for I had +clung to the belaying-pins, close to them, for the last half-hour that +the mainsail had been set). "Come aft, you and I must take the helm. We +shall want _nerve_ there, and only there, now." + +The captain and first lieutenant went aft, and took the forespokes of +the wheel, and O'Brien, at a sign made by the captain, laid hold of the +spokes behind him. An old quarter-master kept his station at the fourth. +The roaring of the seas on the rocks, with the howling of the wind, were +dreadful; but the sight was more dreadful than the noise. For a few +moments I shut my eyes, but anxiety forced me to open them again. As +near as I could judge, we were not twenty yards from the rocks, at the +time that the ship passed abreast of them. We were in the midst of the +foam, which boiled around us; and as the ship was driven nearer to them, +and careened with the wave, I thought that our main-yard-arm would have +touched the rock; and at this moment a gust of wind came on, which laid +the ship on her beam-ends, and checked her progress through the water, +while the accumulated noise was deafening. A few moments more the ship +dragged on, another wave dashed over her and spent itself upon the +rocks, while the spray was dashed back from them, and returned upon the +decks. The main rock was within ten yards of her counter, when another +gust of wind laid us on our beam-ends, the foresail and mainsail split, +and were blown clean out of the bolt-ropes--the ship righted, trembling +fore and aft. I looked astern: the rocks were to windward on our +quarter, and we were safe. I thought at the time, that the ship, +relieved of her courses, and again lifting over the waves, was not a bad +similitude of the relief felt by us all at that moment; and, like her, +we trembled as we panted with the sudden reaction, and felt the removal +of the intense anxiety which oppressed our breasts. + +The captain resigned the helm, and walked aft to look at the point, +which was now broad on the weather quarter. In a minute or two, he +desired Mr Falcon to get new sails up and bend them, and then went below +to his cabin. I am sure it was to thank God for our deliverance: I did +most fervently, not only then, but when I went to my hammock at night. +We were now comparatively safe--in a few hours completely so; for +strange to say, immediately after we had weathered the rocks, the gale +abated, and before morning we had a reef out of the topsails. It was my +afternoon watch, and perceiving Mr Chucks on the forecastle, I went +forward to him, and asked him what he thought of it. + +"Thought of it, sir!" replied he; "why, I always think bad of it when +the elements won't allow my whistle to be heard; and I consider it +hardly fair play. I never care if we are left to our own exertions; but +how is it possible for a ship's company to do their best, when they +cannot hear the boatswain's pipe? However, God be thanked, nevertheless, +and make better Christians of us all! As for that carpenter, he is mad. +Just before we weathered the point, he told me that it was just the same +27,600 and odd years ago. I do believe that on his death-bed (and he was +not far from a very hard one yesterday), he will tell us how he died so +many thousand years ago, of the same complaint. And that gunner of ours +is a fool. Would you believe it, Mr Simple, he went crying about the +decks, 'O my poor guns, what will become of them if they break loose?' +He appeared to consider it of no consequence if the ship and ship's +company were all lost, provided that his guns were safely landed on the +beach. + +"'Mr Dispart,' said I, at last, 'allow me to observe, in the most +delicate way in the world, that you're a d----d old fool.' You see, Mr +Simple, it's the duty of an officer to generalise, and be attentive to +parts, only in consideration of the safety of the whole. I look after my +anchors and cables, as I do after the rigging; not that I care for any +of them in particular, but because the safety of a ship depends upon her +being well found. I might just as well cry because we sacrificed an +anchor and cable yesterday morning, to save the ship from going on +shore." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks," replied I. + +"Private feelings," continued he, "must always be sacrificed for the +public service. As you know, the lower deck was full of water, and all +our cabins and chests were afloat; but I did not think then about my +shirts, and look at them now, all blowing out in the forerigging, +without a particle of starch left in the collars or the frills. I shall +not be able to appear as an officer ought to do for the whole of the +cruise." + +As he said this, the cooper, going forward, passed by him, and jostled +him in passing. "Beg pardon, sir," said the man, "but the ship lurched." + +"The ship lurched, did it?" replied the boatswain, who, I am afraid, was +not in the best of humours about his wardrobe. "And pray, Mr Cooper, why +has heaven granted you two legs, with joints at the knees, except to +enable you to counteract the horizontal deviation? Do you suppose they +were meant for nothing but to work round a cask with? Hark, sir, did you +take me for a post to scrub your pig's hide against? Allow me just to +observe, Mr Cooper--just to insinuate, that when you pass an officer, it +is your duty to keep at a respectable distance, and not to soil his +clothes with your rusty iron jacket. Do you comprehend me, sir; or will +this make you recollect in future?" The rattan was raised, and descended +in a shower of blows, until the cooper made his escape into the head. +"There, take that, you contaminating, stave-dubbing, gimlet-carrying, +quintessence of a bung-hole! I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, for +interrupting the conversation, but when duty calls, we must obey." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks. It's now striking seven bells, and I must call +the master--so good-by." + + + + +Chapter XVI + +News from home--A _fatigue_ party employed at Gibraltar--More +particulars in the life of Mr Chucks--A brush with the enemy--A +court-martial and a lasting impression. + + +A few days afterwards, a cutter joined us from Plymouth, with orders for +the frigate to proceed forthwith to Gibraltar, where we should learn our +destination. We were all very glad of this: for we had had quite enough +of cruising in the Bay of Biscay; and, as we understood that we were to +be stationed in the Mediterranean, we hoped to exchange gales of wind +and severe weather, for fine breezes and a bright sky. The cutter +brought out our letters and newspapers. I never felt more happy than I +did when I found one put into my hands. It is necessary to be far from +home and friends, to feel the real delight of receiving a letter. I went +down into the most solitary place in the steerage, that I might enjoy it +without interruption. I cried with pleasure before I opened it, but I +cried a great deal more with grief, after I had read the contents--for +my eldest brother Tom was dead of a typhus fever. Poor Tom! when I +called to mind what tricks he used to play me--how he used to borrow my +money and never pay me--and how he used to thrash me and make me obey +him, because he was my eldest brother--I shed a torrent of tears at his +loss; and then I reflected how miserable my poor mother must be, and I +cried still more. + +"What's the matter, spooney?" said O'Brien, coming up to me. "Who has +been licking you now?" + +"O, nobody," replied I; "but my eldest brother Tom is dead, and I have +no other." + +"Well, Peter, I dare say that your brother was a very good brother; but +I'll tell you a secret. When you've lived long enough to have a beard to +scrape at, you'll know better than to make a fuss about an elder +brother. But you're a good, innocent boy just now, so I won't thrash you +for it. Come, dry your eyes, Peter, and never mind it. We'll drink his +health and long life to him, after supper, and then never think any more +about it." + +I was very melancholy for a few days; but it was so delightful running +down the Portuguese and Spanish coasts, the weather was so warm, and the +sea so smooth, that I am afraid I forgot my brother's death sooner than +I ought to have done; but my spirits were cheered up, and the novelty of +the scene prevented me from thinking. Every one, too, was so gay and +happy, that I could not well be otherwise. In a fortnight, we anchored +in Gibraltar Bay, and the ship was stripped to refit. There was so much +duty to be done, that I did not like to go on shore. Indeed, Mr Falcon +had refused some of my messmates, and I thought it better not to ask, +although I was very anxious to see a place which was considered so +extraordinary. One afternoon, I was looking over the gangway as the +people were at supper, and Mr Falcon came up to me and said, "Well, Mr +Simple, what are you thinking of?" I replied, touching my hat, that I +was wondering how they had cut out the solid rock into galleries, and +that they must be very curious. + +"That is to say, that you are very curious to see them. Well, then, +since you have been very attentive to your duty, and have not asked to +go on shore, I will give you leave to go to-morrow morning and stay till +gun-fire." + +I was very much pleased at this, as the officers had a general +invitation to dine with the mess, and all who could obtain leave being +requested to come, I was enabled to join the party. The first lieutenant +had excused himself on the plea of there being so much to attend to on +board; but most of the gun-room officers and some of the midshipmen +obtained leave. We walked about the town and fortifications until +dinner-time, and then we proceeded to the barracks. The dinner was very +good, and we were all very merry; but after the dessert had been brought +in, I slipped away with a young ensign, who took me all over the +galleries, and explained everything to me, which was a much better way +of employing my time than doing as the others did, which the reader will +acknowledge. I was at the sally-port before gun-fire--the boat was +there, but no officers made their appearance. The gun fired, the +drawbridge was hauled up, and I was afraid that I should be blamed; but +the boat was not ordered to shove off, as it was waiting for +commissioned officers. About an hour afterwards, when it was quite dark, +the sentry pointed his arms and challenged a person advancing with, "Who +comes there?"--"Naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow," was the reply, +in a loud singing voice. Upon which, the sentry recovered his arms, +singing in return, "Pass naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow--and +all's well!" and then appeared a soldier in his fatigue dress, wheeling +down the third lieutenant in a wheelbarrow, so tipsy that he could not +stand or speak. Then the sentry challenged again, and the answer was, +"Another naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow;" upon which the sentry +replied as before, "Pass, another naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow +--and all's well." This was my friend O'Brien, almost as bad as the +third lieutenant; and so they continued for ten minutes, challenging and +passing, until they wheeled down the remainder of the party, with the +exception of the second lieutenant, who walked arm and arm with the +officer who brought down the order for lowering the drawbridge. I was +much shocked, for I considered it very disgraceful; but I afterwards was +told, which certainly admitted of some excuse, that the mess were +notorious for never permitting any of their guests to leave the table +sober. They were all safely put into the boat, and I am glad to say, the +first lieutenant was in bed and did not see them; but I could not help +acknowledging the truth of an observation made by one of the men as the +officers were handed into the boat, "I say, Bill, if _them_ were _we_, +what a precious twisting we should get to-morrow at six bells!" + +The ship remained in Gibraltar Bay about three weeks, during which time +we had refitted the rigging fore and aft, restowed and cleaned the hold, +and painted outside. She never looked more beautiful than she did when, +in obedience to our orders, we made sail to join the admiral. We passed +Europa Point with a fair wind, and at sunset we were sixty miles from +the Rock, yet it was distinctly to be seen, like a blue cloud, but the +outline perfectly correct. I mention this, as perhaps my reader would +not have believed that it was possible to see land at such a distance. +We steered for Cape de Gatte, and we were next day close in shore. I was +very much delighted with the Spanish coast, mountain upon mountain, hill +upon hill, covered with vines nearly to their summits. We might have +gone on shore at some places, for at that time we were friendly with +the Spaniards, but the captain was in too great a hurry to join the +admiral. We had very light winds, and a day or two afterwards we were +off Valencia, nearly becalmed. I was on the gangway, looking through a +telescope at the houses and gardens round the city, when Mr Chucks, the +boatswain, came up to me. "Mr Simple, oblige me with that glass a +moment; I wish to see if a building remains there, which I have some +reason to remember." + +"What, were you ever on shore there?" + +"Yes I was, Mr Simple, and nearly _stranded_, but I got off again +without much damage." + +"How do you mean--were you wrecked, then?" + +"Not my ship, Mr Simple, but my peace of mind was for some time; but +it's many years ago, when I was first made boatswain of a corvette +(during this conversation he was looking through the telescope); yes, +there it is," said he; "I have it in the field. Look, Mr Simple, do you +see a small church, with a spire of glazed tiles, shining like a +needle?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"Well, then, just above it, a little to the right, there is a long white +house, with four small windows--below the grove of orange-trees." + +"I see it," replied I; "but what about that house, Mr Chucks?" + +"Why, thereby hangs a tale," replied he, giving a sigh, which raised and +then lowered the frill of his shirt at least six inches. + +"Why, what is the mystery, Mr Chucks?" + +"I'll tell you, Mr Simple. With one who lived in that house, I was for +the first, and for the last time, in love." + +"Indeed! I should like very much to hear the story." + +"So you shall, Mr Simple, but I must beg that you will not mention it, +as young gentlemen are apt to quiz; and I think that being quizzed hurts +my authority with the men. It is now about sixteen years back--we were +then on good terms with the Spaniards, as we are now. I was then little +more than thirty years old, and had just received my warrant as +boatswain. I was considered a well-looking young man at that time, +although lately I have, to a certain degree, got the better of that." + +"Well, I consider you a remarkably good-looking man now, Mr Chucks." + +"Thank you, Mr Simple, but nothing improves by age, that I know of, +except rum. I used to dress very smart, and 'cut the boatswain' when I +was on shore: and perhaps I had not lost so much of the polish I had +picked up in good society. One evening, I was walking in the Plaza, when +I saw a female ahead, who appeared to be the prettiest moulded little +vessel that I ever cast my eyes on. I followed in her wake, and examined +her: such a clean run I never beheld--so neat, too, in all her rigging-- +everything so nicely stowed under hatches. And then, she sailed along in +such a style, at one moment lifting so lightly, just like a frigate, +with her topsails on the caps, that can't help going along. At another +time, as she turned a corner sharp up in the wind--wake as straight as +an arrow--no leeway--I made all sail to sheer alongside of her, and, +when under quarter, examined her close. Never saw such a fine swell in +the counter, and all so trim--no ropes towing overboard. Well, Mr +Simple, I said to myself, 'D--n it, if her figurehead and bows be +finished off by the same builder, she's perfect.' So I shot ahead, and +yawed a little--caught a peep at her through her veil, and saw two black +eyes--as bright as beads, and as large as damsons. I saw quite enough, +and not wishing to frighten her, I dropped astern. Shortly afterwards +she altered her course, steering for that white house. Just as she was +abreast of it, and I playing about her weather quarter, the priests came +by in procession, taking the _host_ to somebody who was dying. My little +frigate lowered her top-gallant sails out of respect, as other nations +used to do, and ought now, and be d----d to them, whenever they pass +the flag of old England--" + +"How do you mean?" inquired I. + +"I mean that she spread her white handkerchief, which fluttered in her +hand as she went along, and knelt down upon it on one knee. I did the +same, because I was obliged to heave-to to keep my station, and I +thought, that if she saw me, it would please her. When she got up, I was +on my legs also; but in my hurry I had not chosen a very clean place, +and I found out, when I got up again, that my white jean trousers were +in a shocking mess. The young lady turned round, and seeing my +misfortune, laughed, and then went into the white house, while I stood +there like a fool, first looking at the door of the house, and then at +my trousers. However, I thought that I might make it the means of being +acquainted with her, so I went to the door and knocked. An old gentleman +in a large cloak, who was her father, came out; I pointed to my +trousers, and requested him in Spanish to allow me a little water to +clean them. The daughter then came from within, and told her father how +the accident had happened. The old gentleman was surprised that an +English officer was so good a Christian, and appeared to be pleased. He +asked me very politely to come in, and sent an old woman for some water. +I observed that he was smoking a bit of paper, and having very +fortunately about a couple of dozen of real Havannahs in my pocket (for +I never smoke anything else, Mr Simple, it being my opinion that no +gentleman can), I took them out, and begged his acceptance of them. His +eyes glistened at the sight of them, but he refused to take more than +one; however, I insisted upon his taking the whole bundle, telling him +that I had plenty more on board, reserving one for myself, that I might +smoke it with him. He then requested me to sit down, and the old woman +brought some sour wine, which I declared was very good, although it made +me quite ill afterwards. He inquired of me whether I was a good +Christian. I replied that I was. I knew that he meant a Catholic, for +they call us heretics, Mr Simple. The daughter then came in without her +veil, and she was perfection; but I did not look at her, or pay her any +attention after the first salutation, I was so afraid of making the old +gentleman suspicious. He then asked what I was--what sort of officer-- +was I captain? I replied that I was not. Was I 'tenente? which means +lieutenant; I answered that I was not, again, but with an air of +contempt, as if I was something better. What was I, then? I did not know +the Spanish for boatswain, and, to tell the truth, I was ashamed of my +condition. I knew that there was an officer in Spain called corregidor, +which means a corrector in English, or one who punishes. Now I thought +that quite near enough for my purpose, and I replied that I was the +corregidor. Now, Mr Simple, a corregidor in Spain is a person of rank +and consequence, so they imagined that I must be the same, and they +appeared to be pleased. The young lady then inquired if I was of good +family--whether I was a gentleman or not. I replied that I hoped so. I +remained with them for half-an-hour more, when my segar was finished; I +then rose, and thanking the old gentleman for his civility, begged that +I might be allowed to bring him a few more segars, and took my leave. +The daughter opened the street door, and I could not refrain from taking +her hand and kissing it--" + +"Where's Mr Chucks? call the boatswain there forward," hallooed out the +lieutenant. + +"Here I am, sir," replied Mr Chucks, hastening aft, and leaving me and +his story. + +"The captain of the maintop reports the breast backstay much chafed in +the serving. Go up and examine it," said the first lieutenant. + +"Yes, sir," replied the boatswain, who immediately went up the rigging. + +"And, Mr Simple, attend to the men scraping the spots off the +quarter-deck." + +"Yes, sir," replied I; and thus our conversation was broken up. + +The weather changed that night, and we had a succession of rain and +baffling winds for six or seven days, during which I had no opportunity +of hearing the remainder of the boatswain's history. We joined the fleet +off Toulon, closed the admiral's ship, and the captain went on board to +pay his respects. When he returned, we found out, through the first +lieutenant, that we were to remain with the fleet until the arrival of +another frigate, expected in about a fortnight, and then the admiral had +promised that we should have a cruise. The second day after we had +joined, we were ordered to form part of the in-shore squadron, +consisting of two line-of-battle ships and four frigates. The French +fleet used to come out and manoeuvre within range of their batteries, +or, if they proceeded further from the shore, they took good care that +they had a leading wind to return again into port. We had been in-shore +about a week, every day running close in, and counting the French fleet +in the harbour, to see that they were all safe, and reporting it to the +admiral by signal, when one fine morning, the whole of the French +vessels were perceived to hoist their topsails, and in less than an hour +they were under weigh, and came out of the harbour. We were always +prepared for action, night and day, and, indeed, often exchanged a shot +or two with the batteries when we reconnoitred; the in-shore squadron +could not, of course, cope with the whole French fleet, and our own was +about twelve miles in the offing, but the captain of the line-of-battle +ship who commanded us, hove-to, as if in defiance, hoping to entice them +further out. This was not very easy to do, as the French knew that a +shift of wind might put it out of their power to refuse an action, which +was what they would avoid, and what we were so anxious to bring about. I +say we, speaking of the English, not of myself, for to tell the truth, I +was not so very anxious. I was not exactly afraid, but I had an +unpleasant sensation at the noise of a cannon-ball, which I had not as +yet got over. However, four of the French frigates made sail towards us, +and hove-to, when within four miles, three or four line-of-battle ships +following them as if to support them. Our captain made signal for +permission to close the enemy, which was granted, with our pennants, and +those of another frigate. We immediately made all sail, beat to +quarters, put out the fires, and opened the magazines. The French +line-of-battle ships perceiving that only two of our frigates were sent +against their four, hove-to at about the same distance from their +frigates, as our line-of-battle ships and other frigates were from us. +In the meantime our main fleet continued to work in shore under a press +of sail, and the French main fleet also gradually approached the +detached ships. The whole scene reminded me of the tournaments I had +read of; it was a challenge in the lists, only that the enemy were two +to one; a fair acknowledgment on their parts of our superiority. In +about an hour we closed so near, that the French frigates made sail and +commenced firing. We reserved our fire until within a quarter of a mile, +when we poured our broadside into the headmost frigate, exchanging with +her on opposite tacks. The _Sea-horse_, who followed, also gave her a +broadside. In this way we exchanged broadsides with the whole four, and +we had the best of it, for they could not load so fast as we could. We +were both ready again for the frigates as they passed us, but they were +not ready with their broadside for the _Sea-horse_, who followed us very +closely, so that they had two broadsides each, and we had only four in +the _Diomede_, the _Sea-horse_ not having one. Our rigging was cut up a +great deal, and we had six or seven men wounded, but none killed. The +French frigates suffered more, and their admiral perceiving that they +were cut up a good deal, made a signal of recall. In the meantime we had +both tacked, and were ranging up on the weather quarter of the sternmost +frigate: the line-of-battle ships perceiving this, ran down with the +wind, two points free, to support their frigates, and our in-shore +squadron made all sail to support us, nearly laying up for where we +were. But the wind was what is called at sea a soldier's wind, that is, +blowing so that the ships could lie either way, so as to run out or into +the harbour, and the French frigates, in obedience to their orders, made +sail for their fleet in-shore, the line-of-battle ships coming out to +support them. But our captain would not give it up, although we all +continued to near the French line-of-battle ships every minute--we ran +in with the frigates, exchanging broadsides with them as fast as we +could. One of them lost her foretopmast, and dropped astern, and we +hoped to cut her off, but the others shortened sail to support her. This +continued for about twenty minutes, when the French line-of-battle ships +were not more than a mile from us, and our own commodore had made the +signal of our recall, for he thought that we should be overpowered and +taken. But the _Sea-horse_, who saw the recall up, did not repeat it, +and our captain was determined not to see it, and ordered the signal-man +not to look that way. The action continued, two of the French frigates +were cut to pieces, and complete wrecks, when the French line-of-battle +ships commenced firing. It was then high time to be off. We each of us +poured in another broadside, and then wore round for our own squadron, +which was about four miles off, and rather to leeward, standing in to +our assistance. As we wore round, our main-topmast, which had been badly +wounded, fell over the side, and the French perceiving this, made all +sail, with the hope of capturing us; but the _Sea-horse_ remained with +us, and we threw up in the wind, and raked them until they were within +two cables' lengths of us. Then we stood on for our own ships; at last +one of the line-of-battle ships, which sailed as well as the frigates, +came abreast of us, and poured in a broadside, which brought everything +about our ears, and I thought we must be taken; but on the contrary, +although we lost several men, the captain said to the first lieutenant, +"Now, if they only wait a little longer, they are nabbed, as sure as +fate." Just at this moment, our own line-of-battle ships opened their +fire, and then the tables were turned. The French tacked, and stood in +as fast as they could, followed by the in-shore squadron, with the +exception of our ship, which was too much crippled to chase them. One of +their frigates had taken in tow the other, who had lost her top-mast, +and our squadron came up with her very fast. The English fleet were also +within three miles, standing in, and the French fleet standing out, to +the assistance of the other ships which had been engaged. I thought, and +so did everybody, that there would be a general action, but we were +disappointed; the frigate which towed the other, finding that she could +not escape, cast her off, and left her to her fate, which was to haul +down her colours to the commodore of the in-shore squadron. The chase +was continued until the whole of the French vessels were close under +their batteries, and then our fleet returned to its station with the +prize, which proved to be the _Narcisse_, of thirty-six guns, Captain Le +Pelleteon. Our captain obtained a great deal of credit for his gallant +behaviour. We had three men killed, and Robinson, the midshipman, and +ten men wounded, some of them severely. I think this action cured me of +my fear of a cannon-ball, for during the few days we remained with the +fleet, we often were fired at when we reconnoitred, but I did not care +anything for them. About the time she was expected, the frigate joined, +and we had permission to part company. But before I proceed with the +history of our cruise, I shall mention the circumstances attending a +court-martial, which took place during the time that we were with the +fleet, our captain having been recalled from the in-shore squadron to +sit as one of the members. I was the midshipman appointed to the +captain's gig, and remained on board of the admiral's ship during the +whole of the time that the court was sitting. Two seamen, one an +Englishman, and the other a Frenchman, were tried for desertion from one +of our frigates. They had left their ship about three months, when the +frigate captured a French privateer, and found them on board as part of +her crew. For the Englishman, of course, there was no defence; he +merited the punishment of death, to which he was immediately sentenced. +There may be some excuse for desertion, when we consider that the seamen +are taken into the service by force, but there could be none for +fighting against his country. But the case of the Frenchman was +different. He was born and bred in France, had been one of the crew of +the French gunboats at Cadiz, where he had been made a prisoner by the +Spaniards, and expecting his throat to be cut every day, had contrived +to escape on board of the frigate lying in the harbour, and entered into +our service, I really believe to save his life. He was nearly two years +in the frigate before he could find an opportunity of deserting from +her, and returning to France, when he joined the French privateer. +During the time that he was in the frigate, he bore an excellent +character. The greatest point against him was, that on his arrival at +Gibraltar he had been offered, and had received the bounty. When the +Englishman was asked what he had to say in his defence, he replied that +he had been pressed out of an American ship, that he was an American +born, and that he had never taken the bounty. But this was not true. The +defence of the Frenchman was considered so very good for a person in his +station of life, that I obtained a copy of it, which ran as follows:-- + +"Mr President, and Officers of the Honourable Court;--It is with the +greatest humility that I venture to address you. I shall be very brief, +nor shall I attempt to disprove the charges which have been made against +me, but confine myself to a few facts, the consideration of which will, +I trust, operate upon your feelings in mitigation of the punishment to +which I may be sentenced for my fault--a fault which proceeded, not from +any evil motive, but from an ardent love for my country. I am by birth a +Frenchman; my life has been spent in the service of France until a few +months after the revolution in Spain, when I, together with those who +composed the French squadron at Cadiz, was made a prisoner. The +hardships and cruel usage which I endured became insupportable. I +effected my escape, and after wandering about the town for two or three +days, in hourly expectation of being assassinated, the fate of too many +of my unfortunate countrymen; desperate from famine, and perceiving no +other chance of escaping from the town, I was reduced to the necessity +of offering myself as a volunteer on board of an English frigate. I +dared not, as I ought to have done, acknowledge myself to have been a +prisoner, from the dread of being delivered up to the Spaniards. During +the period that I served on board of your frigate, I confidently rely +upon the captain and the officers for my character. + +"The love of our country, although dormant for a time, will ultimately +be roused, and peculiar circumstances occurred which rendered the +feeling irresistible. I returned to my duty, and for having so done, am +I to be debarred from again returning to that country so dear to me-- +from again beholding my aged parents, who bless me in my absence--from +again embracing my brothers and sisters--to end my days upon a scaffold; +not for the crime which I did commit in entering into your service, but +for an act of duty and repentance--that of returning to my own? Allow me +to observe, that the charge against me is not for entering your service, +but for having deserted from it. For the former, not even my misery can +be brought forward but in extenuation; for the latter I have a proud +consciousness, which will, I trust, be my support in my extremity. + +"Gentlemen, I earnestly entreat you to consider my situation, and I am +sure that your generous hearts will pity me. Let that love of your +country, which now animates your breasts, and induces you to risk your +lives and your all, now plead for me. Already has British humanity saved +thousands of my countrymen from the rage of the Spaniards; let that same +humanity be extended now, and induce my judges to add one more to the +list of those who, although our nations are at war, if they are endowed +with feeling, can have but one sentiment towards their generous enemy--a +sentiment overpowering all other, that of a deep-felt gratitude."[1] + +Whatever may have been the effect of the address upon the court +individually, it appeared at the time to have none upon them as a body. +Both the men were condemned to death, and the day after the morrow was +fixed for their execution. I watched the two prisoners as they went down +the side, to be conducted on board of their own ship. The Englishman +threw himself down in the stern sheets of the boat, every minor +consideration apparently swallowed up in the thought of his approaching +end; but the Frenchman, before he sat down, observing that the seat was +a little dirty, took out his silk handkerchief, and spread it on the +seat, that he might not soil his nankeen trowsers. + +I was ordered to attend the punishment on the day appointed. The sun +shone so brightly, and the sky was so clear, the wind so gentle and +mild, that it appeared hardly possible that it was to be a day of such +awe and misery to the two poor men, or of such melancholy to the fleet +in general. I pulled up my boat with the others belonging to the ships +of the fleet, in obedience to the orders of the officer superintending, +close to the fore-chains of the ship. In about half-an-hour afterwards, +the prisoners made their appearance on the scaffold, the caps were +pulled over their eyes, and the gun fired underneath them. When the +smoke rolled away, the Englishman was swinging at the yard-arm, but the +Frenchman was not; he had made a spring when the gun fired, hoping to +break his neck at once, and put an end to his misery; but he fell on the +edge of the scaffold, where he lay. We thought that his rope had given +way, and it appeared that he did the same, for he made an enquiry, but +they returned him no answer. He was kept on the scaffold during the +whole hour that the Englishman remained suspended; his cap had been +removed, and he looked occasionally at his fellow-sufferer. When the +body was lowered down, he considered that his time was come, and +attempted to leap overboard. He was restrained and led aft, where his +reprieve was read to him and his arms were unbound. But the effect of +the shock was too much for his mind; he fell down in a swoon, and when +he recovered, his senses had left him, and I heard that he never +recovered them, but was sent home to be confined as a maniac. I thought, +and the result proved, that it was carried too far. It is not the +custom, when a man is reprieved, to tell him so, until after he is on +the scaffold, with the intention that his awful situation at the time +may make a lasting impression upon him during the remainder of his life; +but, as a foreigner, he was not aware of our customs, and the hour of +intense feeling which he underwent was too much for his reason. I must +say, that this circumstance was always a source of deep regret in the +whole fleet, and that his being a Frenchman, instead of an Englishman, +increased the feeling of commiseration. + +[Footnote 1: This is fact.--AUTHOR.] + + + + +Chapter XVII + +Mr Chucks's opinion on proper names--He finishes his Spanish tale--March +of intellect among the Warrant Officers. + + +We were all delighted when our signal was hoisted to "part company," as +we anticipated plenty of prize-money under such an enterprising captain. +We steered for the French coast, near to its junction with Spain, the +captain having orders to intercept any convoys sent to supply the French +army with stores and provisions. + +The day after we parted company with the fleet, Mr Chucks finished his +story. + +"Where was I, Mr Simple, when I left off?" said he, as we took a seat +upon the long eighteen. + +"You had just left the house after having told them that you were a +corregidor, and had kissed the lady's hand." + +"Very true. Well, Mr Simple, I did not call there for two or three days +afterwards; I did not like to go too soon, especially as I saw the young +lady every day in the Plaza. She would not speak to me, but, to make use +of their expression, 'she gave me her eyes,' and sometimes a sweet +smile. I recollect I was so busy looking at her one day, that I tripped +over my sword, and nearly fell on my nose, at which she burst out a +laughing." + +"Your sword, Mr Chucks? I thought boatswains never wore swords." + +"Mr Simple, a boatswain is an officer, and is entitled to a sword as +well as the captain, although we have been laughed out of it by a set of +midshipman monkeys. I always wore my sword at that time; but now-a-days, +a boatswain is counted as nobody, unless there is hard work to do, and +then it's Mr Chucks this, and Mr Chucks that. But I'll explain to you +how it is, Mr Simple, that we boatswains have lost so much of +consequence and dignity. The first lieutenants are made to do the +boatswain's duty now-a-days, and if they could only wind the call, they +might scratch the boatswain's name off half the ships' books in his +Majesty's service. But to go on with my yarn. On the fourth day, I +called with my handkerchief full of segars for the father, but he was at +siesta, as they called it. The old serving-woman would not let me in at +first; but I shoved a dollar between her skinny old fingers, and that +altered her note. She put her old head out, and looked round to see if +there was anybody in the street to watch us, and then she let me in and +shut the door. I walked into the room, and found myself alone with +Seraphina." + +"Seraphina!--what a fine name!" + +"No name can be too fine for a pretty girl, or a good frigate, Mr +Simple; for my part, I'm very fond of these hard names. Your Bess, and +Poll, and Sue, do very well for the Point, or Castle Rag; but in my +opinion, they degrade a lady. Don't you observe, Mr Simple, that all our +gun-brigs, a sort of vessel that will certainly d----n the inventor to +all eternity, have nothing but low common names, such as Pincher, +Thrasher, Boxer, Badger, and all that sort, which are quite good enough +for them; whereas all our dashing saucy frigates have names as long as +the main-top bowling, and hard enough to break your jaw--such as +Melpomeny, Terpsichory, Arethusy, Bacchanty--fine flourishers, as long +as their pennants which dip alongside in a calm." + +"Very true," replied I; "but do you think, then, it is the same with +family names?" + +"Most certainly, Mr Simple. When I was in good society, I rarely fell in +with such names as Potts or Bell, or Smith or Hodges; it was always Mr +Fortescue, or Mr Fitzgerald, or Mr Fitzherbert--seldom bowed, sir, to +anything under _three_ syllables." + +"Then I presume, Mr Chucks, you are not fond of your own name?" + +"There you touch me, Mr Simple; but it is quite good enough for a +boatswain," replied Mr Chucks, with a sigh. "I certainly did very wrong +to impose upon people as I did, but I've been severely punished for it-- +it has made me discontented and unhappy ever since. Dearly have I paid +for my spree; for there is nothing so miserable as to have ideas above +your station in life, Mr Simple. But I must make sail again. I was three +hours with Seraphina before her father came home, and during that time I +never was quietly at an anchor for above a minute. I was on my knees, +vowing and swearing, kissing her feet and kissing her hand, till at last +I got to her lips, working my way up as regularly as one who gets in at +the hawsehole and crawls aft to the cabin windows. She was very kind, +and she smiled, and sighed, and pushed me off, and squeezed my hand, and +was angry--frowning till I was in despair, and then making me happy +again with her melting dark eyes beaming kindly, till at last she said +that she would try to love me, and asked me whether I would marry her +and live in Spain. I replied that I would; and, indeed, I felt as if I +could, only at the time the thought occurred to me where the rhino was +to come from, for I could not live, as her father did, upon a paper +segar and a piece of melon per day. At all events, as far as words went, +it was a settled thing. When her father came home, the old servant told +him that I had just at that moment arrived, and that, his daughter was +in her own room; so she was, for she ran away as soon as she heard her +father knock. I made my bow to the old gentleman, and gave him the +segars. He was serious at first, but the sight of them put him into good +humour, and in a few minutes Donna Seraphina (they call a lady a Donna +in Spain) came in, saluting me ceremoniously, as if we had not been +kissing for the hour together. I did not remain long, as it was getting +late, so I took a glass of the old gentleman's sour wine, and walked +off, with a request from him to call again, the young lady paying me +little or no attention during the time that I remained, or at my +departure." + +"Well, Mr Chucks," observed I, "it appears to me that she was a very +deceitful young person." + +"So she was, Mr Simple; but a man in love can't see, and I'll tell you +why. If he wins the lady, he is as much in love with himself as with +her, because he is so proud of his conquest. That was my case. If I had +had my eyes, I might have seen that she who could cheat her old father +for a mere stranger, would certainly deceive him in his turn. But if +love makes a man blind, vanity, Mr Simple, makes him blinder. In short, +I was an ass." + +"Never mind, Mr Chucks, there was a good excuse for it." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I met her again and again, until I was madly in love, +and the father appeared to be aware of what was going on, and to have no +objection. However, he sent for a priest to talk with me, and I again +said that I was a good Catholic. I told him that I was in love with the +young lady, and would marry her. The father made no objection on my +promising to remain in Spain, for he would not part with his only +daughter. And there again I was guilty of deceit, first, in making a +promise I did not intend to keep, and then in pretending that I was a +Catholic. Honesty is the best policy, Mr Simple, in the long run, you +may depend upon it." + +"So my father has always told me, and I have believed him," replied I. + +"Well, sir, I am ashamed to say that I did worse; for the priest, after +the thing was settled, asked me whether I had confessed lately. I knew +what he meant, and answered that I had not. He motioned me down on my +knees; but, as I could not speak Spanish enough for that, I +mumbled-jumbled something or another, half Spanish and half English, and +ended with putting four dollars in his hand for _carita_, which means +charity. He was satisfied at the end of my confession, whatever he might +have been at the beginning, and gave me absolution, although he could +not have understood what my crimes were; but four dollars, Mr Simple, +will pay for a deal of crime in that country. And now, sir, comes the +winding up of this business. Seraphina told me that she was going to the +opera with some of her relations, and asked me if I would be there; that +the captain of the frigate, and all the other officers were going, and +that she wished me to go with her. You see, Mr Simple, although +Seraphina's father was so poor, that a mouse would have starved in his +house, still he was of good family, and connected with those who were +much better off. He was a Don himself, and had fourteen or fifteen long +names, which I forget now. I refused to go with her, as I knew that the +service would not permit a boatswain to sit in an opera-box, when the +captain and first lieutenant were there. I told her that I had promised +to go on board and look after the men while the captain went on shore; +thus, as you'll see, Mr Simple, making myself a man of consequence, only +to be more mortified in the end. After she had gone to the opera, I was +very uncomfortable: I was afraid that the captain would see her, and +take a fancy to her. I walked up and down, outside, until I was so full +of love and jealousy that I determined to go into the pit and see what +she was about. I soon discovered her in a box, with some other ladies, +and with them were my captain and first lieutenant. The captain, who +spoke the language well, was leaning over her, talking and laughing, and +she was smiling at what he said. I resolved to leave immediately, lest +she should see me and discover that I had told her a falsehood; but they +appeared so intimate that I became so jealous I could not quit the +theatre. At last she perceived me, and beckoned her hand; I looked very +angry, and left the theatre cursing like a madman. It appeared that she +pointed me out to the captain, and asked him who I was; he told her my +real situation on board, and spoke of me with contempt. She asked +whether I was not a man of family; at this the captain and first +lieutenant both burst out laughing, and said that I was a common sailor +who had been promoted to a higher rank for good behaviour--not exactly +an officer, and anything but a gentleman. In short, Mr Simple, I was +_blown upon_, and, although the captain said more than was correct, as +I learnt afterwards through the officers, still I deserved it. +Determined to know the worst, I remained outside till the opera was +over, when I saw her come out, the captain and first lieutenant walking +with the party--so that I could not speak with her. I walked to a posada +(that's an inn), and drank seven bottles of rosolio to keep myself +quiet; then I went on board, and the second lieutenant, who was +commanding officer, put me under arrest for being intoxicated. It was a +week before I was released; and you can't imagine what I suffered, Mr +Simple. At last, I obtained leave to go on shore, and I went to the +house to decide my fate. The old woman opened the door, and then calling +me a thief, slammed it in my face; as I retreated, Donna Seraphina came +to the window, and, waving her hand with a contemptuous look, said, 'Go, +and God be with you, Mr Gentleman.' I returned on board in such a rage, +that if I could have persuaded the gunner to have given me a ball +cartridge, I should have shot myself through the head. What made the +matter worse, I was laughed at by everybody in the ship, for the captain +and first lieutenant had made the story public." + +"Well, Mr Chucks," replied I, "I cannot help being sorry for you, +although you certainly deserved to be punished for your dishonesty. Was +that the end of the affair?" + +"As far as I was concerned it was, Mr Simple; but not as respected +others. The captain took my place, but without the knowledge of the +father. After all, they neither had great reason to rejoice at the +exchange." + +"How so, Mr Chucks--what do you mean?" + +"Why, Mr Simple, the captain did not make an honest woman of her, as I +would have done; and the father discovered what was going on, and one +night the captain was brought on board run through the body. We sailed +immediately for Gibraltar, and it was a long while before he got round +again: and then he had another misfortune." + +"What was that?" + +"Why he lost his boatswain, Mr Simple; for I could not bear the sight of +him--and then he lost (as you must know, not from your own knowledge, +but from that of others) a boatswain who knows his duty." + +"Every one says so, Mr Chucks. I'm sure that our captain would be very +sorry to part with you." + +"I trust that every captain has been with whom I've sailed, Mr Simple. +But that was not all he lost, Mr Simple; for the next cruise he lost his +masts; and the loss of his masts occasioned the loss of his ship, since +which he has never been trusted with another, but is laid on the shelf. +Now he never carried away a spar of any consequence during the whole +time that I was with him. A mast itself is nothing, Mr Simple--only a +piece of wood--but fit your rigging properly, and then a mast is strong +as a rock. Only ask Mr Faulkner, and he'll tell you the same; and I +never met an officer who knew better how to support a mast." + +"Did you ever hear any more of the young lady?" + +"Yes; about a year afterwards I returned there in another ship. She had +been shut up in a convent, and forced to take the veil. Oh, Mr Simple! +if you knew how I loved that girl! I have never been more than polite to +a woman since, and shall die a bachelor. You can't think how I was +capsized the other day, when I looked at the house; I have hardly +touched beef or pork since, and am in debt two quarts of rum more than +my allowance. But, Mr Simple, I have told you this in confidence, and I +trust you are too much of a gentleman to repeat it; for I cannot bear +quizzing from young midshipmen." + +I promised that I would not mention it, and I kept my word; but +circumstances which the reader will learn in the sequel have freed me +from the condition. Nobody can quiz him now. + +We gained our station off the coast of Perpignan; and as soon as we made +the land, we were most provokingly driven off by a severe gale. I am not +about to make any remarks about the gale, for one storm is so like +another; but I mention it, to account for a conversation which took +place, and with which I was very much amused. I was near to the captain +when he sent for Mr Muddle, the carpenter, who had been up to examine +the main-topsail yard, which had been reported as sprung. + +"Well, Mr Muddle," said the captain. + +"Sprung, sir, most decidedly; but I think we'll be able to _mitigate_ +it." + +"Will you be able to secure it for the present, Mr Muddle?" replied the +captain, rather sharply. + +"We'll _mitigate_ it, sir, in half an hour." + +"I wish that you would use common phrases when you speak to me, Mr +Muddle. I presume, by mitigate, you mean to say that you can secure it. +Do you mean so, sir, or do you not?" + +"Yes, sir, that is what I mean, most decidedly. I hope no offence, +Captain Savage; but I did not intend to displease you by my language." + +"Very good, Mr Muddle," replied the captain; "it's the first time that I +have spoken to you on the subject, recollect that it will be the last." + +"The first time!" replied the carpenter, who could not forget his +philosophy; "I beg your pardon, Captain Savage, you found just the same +fault with me on this quarter-deck 27,672 years ago, and--" + +"If I did, Mr Muddle," interrupted the captain, very angrily, "depend +upon it that at the same time I ordered you to go aloft, and attend to +your duty, instead of talking nonsense on the quarter-deck; and, +although, as you say, you and I cannot recollect it, if you did not obey +that order instantaneously, I also put you in confinement, and obliged +you to leave the ship as soon as she returned to port. Do you understand +me, sir?" + +"I rather think, sir," replied the carpenter, humbly touching his hat, +and walking to the main rigging, "that no such thing took place, for I +went up immediately, as I do now; and," continued the carpenter, who was +incurable, as he ascended the rigging, "as I shall again in another +27,672 years." + +"That man is incorrigible with his confounded nonsense," observed the +captain to the first lieutenant. "Every mast in the ship would go over +the side, provided he could get any one to listen to his ridiculous +theory." + +"He is not a bad carpenter, sir," replied the first lieutenant. + +"He is not," rejoined the captain; "but there is a time for all things." + +Just at this moment, the boatswain came down the rigging. + +"Well, Mr Chucks, what do you think of the yard? Must we shift it?" +inquired the captain. + +"At present, Captain Savage," replied the boatswain, "I consider it to +be in a state which may be called precarious, and not at all permanent; +but, with a little human exertion, four fathom of three-inch, and +half-a-dozen tenpenny nails, it may last, for all I know, until it is +time for it to be sprung again." + +"I do not understand you, Mr Chucks. I know no time when a yard ought to +be sprung." + +"I did not refer to our time, sir," replied the boatswain, "but to the +27,672 years of Mr Muddle, when--" + +"Go forward immediately, sir, and attend to your duty," cried the +captain, in a very angry voice; and then he said to the first +lieutenant, "I believe the warrant officers are going mad. Who ever +heard a boatswain use such language--'precarious and not at all +permanent?' His stay in the ship will become so, if he does not mind +what he is about." + +"He is a very odd character, sir," replied the first lieutenant; "but I +have no hesitation in saying that he is the best boatswain in his +majesty's service." + +"I believe so too," replied the captain; "but--well, every one has his +faults. Mr Simple, what are you about sir?" + +"I was listening to what you said," replied I, touching my hat. + +"I admire your candour, sir," replied he, "but advise you to discontinue +the practice. Walk over to leeward, sir, and attend to your duty." + +When I was on the other side of the deck, I looked round, and saw the +captain and first lieutenant both laughing. + + + + +Chapter XVIII + +I go away on service, am wounded and taken prisoner with O'Brien-- +Diamond cut diamond between the O'Briens--Get into comfortable quarters +--My first interview with Celeste. + + +And now I have to relate an event, which, young as I was at the time, +will be found to have seriously affected me in after life. How little do +we know what to-morrow may bring forth! We had regained our station, and +for some days had been standing off and on the coast, when one morning +at daybreak, we found ourselves about four miles from the town of Cette, +and a large convoy of vessels coming round a point. We made all sail in +chase, and they anchored close in shore, under a battery, which we did +not discover until it opened fire upon us. The shot struck the frigate +two or three times, for the water was smooth, and the battery nearly +level with it. The captain tacked the ship, and stood out again, until +the boats were hoisted out, and all ready to pull on shore and storm the +battery. O'Brien, who was the officer commanding the first cutter on +service, was in his boat, and I again obtained permission from him to +smuggle myself into it. + +"Now, Peter, let's see what kind of a fish you'll bring on board this +time," said he, after we had shoved off: "or may be, the fish will not +let you off quite so easy." The men in the boat all laughed at this, and +I replied, "That I must be more seriously wounded than I was last time, +to be made a prisoner." We ran on shore, amidst the fire of the +gunboats, who protected the convoy, by which we lost three men, and made +for the battery, which we took without opposition, the French +artillery-men running out as we ran in. The directions of the captain +were very positive, not to remain in the battery a minute after it was +taken, but to board the gunboats, leaving only one of the small boats, +with the armourer to spike the guns, for the captain was aware that +there were troops stationed along the coast, who might come down upon us +and beat us off. The first lieutenant, who commanded, desired O'Brien to +remain with the first cutter, and after the armourer had spiked the +guns, as officer of the boat he was to shove off immediately. O'Brien +and I remained in the battery with the armourer, the boat's crew being +ordered down to the boat, to keep her afloat, and ready to shove off at +a moment's warning. We had spiked all the guns but one, when all of a +sudden a volley of musketry was poured upon us, which killed the +armourer, and wounded me in the leg above the knee. I fell down by +O'Brien, who cried out, "By the powers! here they are, and one gun not +spiked." He jumped down, wrenched the hammer from the armourer's hand, +and seizing a nail from the bag, in a few moments he had spiked the gun. +At this time I heard the tramping of the French soldiers advancing, when +O'Brien threw away the hammer, and lifting me upon his shoulders, cried, +"Come along, Peter, my boy," and made for the boat as fast as he could; +but he was too late; he had not got half way to the boat, before he was +collared by two French soldiers, and dragged back into the battery. The +French troops then advanced, and kept up a smart fire: our cutter +escaped, and joined the other boat, who had captured the gun-boats and +convoy with little opposition. Our large boats had carronades mounted in +their bows, and soon returned the fire with round and grape, which drove +the French troops back into the battery, where they remained, popping at +our men under cover, until most of the vessels were taken out; those +which they could not man were burnt. + +In the meantime, O'Brien had been taken into the battery, with me on his +back; but as soon as he was there, he laid me gently down, saying, +"Peter, my boy, as long as you were under my charge, I'd carry you +through thick and thin; but now that you are under the charge of these +French beggars, why let them carry you. Every man his own bundle, Peter, +that's fair play, so if they think you're worth the carrying, let them +bear the weight of ye." + +"And suppose they do not, O'Brien, will you leave me here?" + +"Will I lave you, Peter! not if I can help it, my boy; but they won't +leave you, never fear them; prisoners are so scarce with them, that they +would not leave the captain's monkey, if he were taken." + +As soon as our boats were clear of their musketry, the commanding +officer of the French troops examined the guns in the battery, with the +hope of reaching them, and was very much annoyed to find that every one +of them was spiked. "He'll look sharper than a magpie before he finds a +clear touch-hole, I expect," said O'Brien, as he watched the officer. +And here I must observe, that O'Brien showed great presence of mind in +spiking the last gun; for had they had one gun to fire at our boats +towing out the prizes, they must have done a great deal of mischief to +them, and we should have lost a great many men; but in so doing, and in +the attempt to save me, he sacrificed himself, and was taken prisoner. +When the troops ceased firing, the commanding officer came up to +O'Brien, and looking at him, said, "Officer?" to which O'Brien nodded +his head. He then pointed to me--"Officer?" O'Brien nodded his head +again, at which the French troops laughed, as O'Brien told me +afterwards, because I was what they called an _enfant_, which means an +infant. I was very stiff, and faint, and could not walk. The officer who +commanded the troops left a detachment in the battery, and prepared to +return to Cette, from whence they came. O'Brien walked, and I was +carried on three muskets by six of the French soldiers--not a very +pleasant conveyance at any time, but in my state excessively painful. +However, I must say, that they were very kind to me, and put a great +coat or something under my wounded leg, for I was in an agony, and +fainted several times. At last they brought me some water to drink. O +how delicious it was! I have often thought since, when I have been in +company, where people fond of good living have smacked their lips at +their claret, that if they could only be wounded, and taste a cup of +water, they would then know what it was to feel a beverage grateful. In +about an hour and a half, which appeared to me to be five days at the +least, we arrived at the town of Cette, and I was taken up to the house +of the officer who commanded the troops, and who had often looked at me +as I was carried there from the battery, saying, "_Pauvre enfant_!" I +was put on a bed, where I again fainted away. When I came to my senses, +I found a surgeon had bandaged my leg, and that I had been undressed. +O'Brien was standing by me, and I believe that he had been crying, for +he thought that I was dead. When I looked him in the face, he said, +"Pater, you baste, how you frightened me: bad luck to me if ever I take +charge of another youngster. What did you sham dead for?" + +"I am better now, O'Brien," replied I, "how much I am indebted to you: +you have been made prisoner in trying to save me." + +"I have been made prisoner in doing my duty, in one shape or another. If +that fool of an armourer hadn't held his hammer so tight, after he was +dead, and it was of no use to him, I should have been clear enough, and +so would you have been! but, however, all this is nothing at all, Peter; +as far as I can see, the life of a man consists in getting into scrapes, +and getting out of them. By the blessing of God, we've managed the +first, and by the blessing of God we'll manage the second also; so be +smart, my honey, and get well, for although a man may escape by running +away on two legs, I never heard of a boy who hopped out of a French +prison upon one." + +I squeezed the offered hand of O'Brien, and looked round me; the surgeon +stood at one side of the bed, and the officer who commanded the troops +at the other. At the head of the bed was a little girl about twelve +years old, who held a cup in her hand, out of which something had been +poured down my throat. I looked at her, and she had such pity in her +face, which was remarkably handsome, that she appeared to me as an +angel, and I turned round as well as I could, that I might look at her +alone. She offered me the cup, which I should have refused from any one +but her, and I drank a little. Another person then came into the room, +and a conversation took place in French. + +"I wonder what they mean to do with us," said I to O'Brien. + +"Whist, hold your tongue," replied he; and then he leaned over me, and +said in a whisper, "I understand all they say; don't you recollect, I +told you that I learnt the language after I was kilt and buried in the +sand, in South America?" After a little more conversation, the officer +and the others retired, leaving nobody but the little girl and O'Brien +in the room. + +"It's a message from the governor," said O'Brien, as soon as they were +gone, "wishing the prisoners to be sent to the gaol in the citadel, to +be examined; and the officer says (and he's a real gentleman, as far as +I can judge) that you're but a baby, and badly wounded in the bargain, +and that it would be a shame not to leave you to die in peace; so I +presume that I'll part company from you very soon." + +"I hope not, O'Brien," replied I; "if you go to prison, I will go also, +for I will not leave you, who are my best friend, to remain with +strangers; I should not be half so happy, although I might have more +comforts in my present situation." + +"Pater, my boy, I am glad to see that your heart is in the right place, +as I always thought it was, or I wouldn't have taken you under my +protection. We'll go together to prison, my jewel, and I'll fish at the +bars with a bag and a long string, just by way of recreation, and to +pick up a little money to buy you all manner of nice things; and when +you get well, you shall do it yourself, mayhap you'll have better luck, +as Peter your namesake had, who was a fisherman before you. There's +twice as much room in one of the cells as there is in a midshipman's +berth, my boy; and the prison yards, where you are allowed to walk, will +make a dozen quarter-decks, and no need of touching your hat out of +respect when you go into it. When a man has been cramped up on board of +a man-of-war, where midshipmen are stowed away like pilchards in a cask, +he finds himself quite at liberty in a prison, Peter. But somehow or +another, I think we mayn't be parted yet, for I heard the officer (who +appears to be a real gentleman, and worthy to have been an Irishman +born) say to the other, that he'd ask the governor for me to stay with +you on parole, until you are well again." The little girl handed me the +lemonade, of which I drank a little, and then I felt very faint again. I +laid my head on the pillow, and O'Brien having left off talking, I was +soon in a comfortable sleep. In an hour I was awakened by the return of +the officer, who was accompanied by the surgeon. The officer addressed +O'Brien in French who shook his head as before. + +"Why don't you answer, O'Brien," said I, "since you understand him?" + +"Peter, recollect that I cannot speak a word of their lingo; then I +shall know what they say before us, and they won't mind what they say, +supposing I do not understand them." + +"But is that honest, O'Brien?" + +"Is it honest you mean? If I had a five-pound note in my pocket, and +don't choose to show it to every fellow that I meet--is that dishonest?" + +"To be sure it's not." + +"And a'n't that what the lawyers call a case in pint?" + +"Well," replied I, "if you wish it, I shall of course say nothing; but I +think that I should tell them, especially as they are so kind to us." + +During this conversation, the officer occasionally spoke to the surgeon, +at the same time eyeing us, I thought, very hard. Two other persons then +came into the room; one of them addressed O'Brien in very bad English, +saying, that he was interpreter, and would beg him to answer a few +questions. He then inquired the name of our ship, number of guns, and +how long we had been cruising. After that, the force of the English +fleet, and a great many other questions relative to them; all of which +were put in French by the person who came with him, and the answer +translated, and taken down in a book. Some of the questions O'Brien +answered correctly, to others he pleaded ignorance; and to some, he +asserted what was not true. But I did not blame him for that, as it was +his duty not to give information to the enemy. At last they asked my +name, and rank, which O'Brien told them. "Was I noble?" + +"Yes," replied O'Brien. + +"Don't say so, O'Brien," interrupted I. + +"Peter, you know nothing about it, you are grandson to a lord." + +"I know that, but still I am not noble myself, although descended from +him; therefore pray don't say so." + +"Bother! Pater, I have said it, and I won't unsay it; besides, Pater, +recollect it's a French question, and in France you would be considered +noble. At all events, it can do no harm." + +"I feel too ill to talk, O'Brien; but I wish you had not said so." + +They then inquired O'Brien's name, which he told them; his rank in the +service, and also, whether he was noble. + +"I am an O'Brien," replied he; "and pray what's the meaning of the O +before my name, if I'm not noble? However, Mr Interpreter, you may add, +that we have dropped our title because it's not convanient." The French +officer burst out into a loud laugh, which surprised us very much. The +interpreter had great difficulty in explaining what O'Brien said; but as +O'Brien told me afterwards, the answer was put down _doubtful_. + +They all left the room except the officer, who then, to our +astonishment, addressed us in good English. "Gentlemen, I have obtained +permission from the governor for you to remain in my house, until Mr +Simple is recovered. Mr O'Brien, it is necessary that I should receive +your parole of honour that you will not attempt to escape. Are you +willing to give it?" + +O'Brien was quite amazed; "Murder an' Irish," cried he; "so you speak +English, colonel. It was not very genteel of you not to say so, +considering how we've been talking our little secrets together." + +"Certainly, Mr O'Brien, not more necessary," replied the officer, +smiling, "than for you to tell me that you understood French." + +"O, bother!" cried O'Brien, "how nicely I'm caught in my own trap! +You're an Irishman, sure?" + +"I'm of Irish descent," replied the officer, "and my name, as well as +yours, is O'Brien. I was brought up in this country, not being permitted +to serve my own, and retain the religion of my forefathers. I may now be +considered as a Frenchman, retaining nothing of my original country, +except the language, which my mother taught me, and a warm feeling +towards the English wherever I meet them. But to the question, Mr +O'Brien, will you give your parole?" + +"The word of an Irishman, and the hand to boot," replied O'Brien, +shaking the colonel by the hand; "and you're more than doubly sure, for +I'll never go away and leave little Peter here; and as for carrying him +on my back, I've had enough of that already." + +"It is sufficient," replied the colonel. "Mr O'Brien, I will make you as +comfortable as I can; and when you are tired of attending your friend, +my little daughter shall take your place. You'll find her a kind little +nurse, Mr Simple." + +I could not refrain from tears at the colonel's kindness: he shook me by +the hand; and telling O'Brien that dinner was ready, he called up his +daughter, the little girl who had attended me before; and desired her to +remain in the room. "Celeste," said he, "you understand a little +English; quite enough to find out what he is in want of. Go and fetch +your work, to amuse yourself when he is asleep." Celeste went out, and +returning with her embroidery, sat down by the head of the bed: the +colonel and O'Brien then quitted the room. Celeste then commenced her +embroidery, and as her eyes were cast down upon her work, I was able to +look at her without her observing it. As I said before, she was a very +beautiful little girl; her hair was light brown, eyes very large, and +eyebrows drawn as with a pair of compasses; her nose and mouth were also +very pretty; but it was not so much her features as the expression of +her countenance, which was so beautiful, so modest, so sweet, and so +intelligent. When she smiled, which she almost always did when she +spoke, her teeth were like two rows of little pearls. + +I had not looked at her long, before she raised her eyes from her work, +and perceiving that I was looking at her, said, "You want--something-- +want drink--I speak very little English." + +"Nothing, I thank ye," replied I; "I only want to go to sleep." + +"Then--shut--your--eye," replied she smiling; and she went to the +window, and drew down the blinds to darken the room. But I could not +sleep; the remembrance of what had occurred--in a few hours wounded, and +a prisoner--the thought of my father and mother's anxiety; with the +prospect of going to a prison and close confinement, as soon as I was +recovered, passed in succession in my mind, and, together with the +actual pain of my wound, prevented me from obtaining any rest. The +little girl several times opened the curtain to ascertain whether I +slept or wanted anything, and then as softly retired. In the evening, +the surgeon called again; he felt my pulse, and directing cold +applications to my leg, which had swelled considerably, and was becoming +very painful, told Colonel O'Brien, that, although I had considerable +fever, I was doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances. + +But I shall not dwell upon my severe sufferings for a fortnight, after +which the ball was extracted; nor upon how carefully I was watched by +O'Brien, the colonel, and little Celeste, during my peevishness and +irritation, arising from pain and fever. I feel grateful to them, but +partiqularly [sic] to Celeste, who seldom quitted me for more than +half-an-hour, and, as I gradually recovered, tried all she could to +amuse me. + + + + +Chapter XIX + +We remove to very unpleasant quarters--Birds of a feather won't always +flock together--O'Brien cuts a cutter midshipman, and gets a taste of +French steel--Altogether _flat_ work--A walk into the interior. + + +As soon as I was well enough to attend to my little nurse, we became +very intimate, as might be expected. Our chief employment was teaching +each other French and English. Having the advantage of me in knowing a +little before we met, and also being much quicker of apprehension, she +very soon began to speak English fluently, long before I could make out +a short sentence in French. However, as it was our chief employment, and +both were anxious to communicate with each other, I learnt it very fast. +In five weeks I was out of bed, and could limp about the room; and +before two months were over, I was quite recovered. The colonel, +however, would not report me to the governor; I remained on a sofa +during the day, but at dusk I stole out of the house, and walked about +with Celeste. I never passed such a happy time as the last fortnight; +the only drawback was the remembrance that I should soon have to +exchange it for a prison. I was more easy about my father and mother, as +O'Brien had written to them, assuring them that I was doing well; and +besides, a few days after our capture, the frigate had run in, and sent +a flag of truce to inquire if we were alive or made prisoners; at the +same time Captain Savage sent on shore all our clothes, and two hundred +dollars in cash for our use. I knew that even if O'Brien's letter did +not reach them, they were sure to hear from Captain Savage that I was +doing well. But the idea of parting with Celeste, towards whom I felt +such gratitude and affection, was most painful; and when I talked about +it, poor Celeste would cry so much, that I could not help joining her, +although I kissed away her tears. At the end of twelve weeks, the +surgeon could no longer withhold his report, and we were ordered to be +ready in two days to march to Toulon, where we were to join another +party of prisoners, to proceed with them into the interior. I must pass +over our parting, which the reader may imagine was very painful. I +promised to write to Celeste, and she promised that she would answer my +letters, if it were permitted. We shook hands with Colonel O'Brien, +thanking him for his kindness, and, much to his regret, we were taken in +charge by two French cuirassiers, who were waiting at the door. As we +preferred being continued on parole until our arrival at Toulon, the +soldiers were not at all particular about watching us; and we set off on +horseback, O'Brien and I going first, and the French cuirassiers +following us in the rear. + +We trotted or walked along the road very comfortably. The weather was +delightful: we were in high spirits, and almost forgot that we were +prisoners. The cuirassiers followed us at a distance of twenty yards, +conversing with each other, and O'Brien observed that it was amazingly +genteel of the French governor to provide us with two servants in such +handsome liveries. The evening of the second day we arrived at Toulon, +and as soon as we entered the gates, we were delivered into the custody +of an officer with a very sinister cast of countenance, who, after some +conversation with the cuirassiers, told us in a surly tone that our +parole was at an end, and gave us in charge of a corporal's guard, with +directions to conduct us to the prison near the Arsenal. We presented +the cuirassiers with four dollars each, for their civility, and were +then hurried away to our place of captivity. I observed to O'Brien, that +I was afraid that we must now bid farewell to anything like pleasure. +"You're right there, Peter," replied he: "but there's a certain jewel +called Hope, that somebody found at the bottom of his chest, when it was +clean empty, and so we must not lose sight of it, but try and escape as +soon as we can; but the less we talk about it the better." In a few +minutes we arrived at our destination: the door was opened, ourselves +and our bundles (for we had only selected a few things for our march, +the colonel promising to forward the remainder as soon as we wrote to +inform him to which depot we were consigned), were rudely shoved in; and +as the doors again closed, and the heavy bolts were shot, I felt a +creeping, chilly sensation pass through my whole body. + +As soon as we could see--for although the prison was not very dark, yet +so suddenly thrown in, after the glare of a bright sunshiny day, at +first we could distinguish nothing--we found ourselves in company with +about thirty English sailors. Most of them were sitting down on the +pavement, or on boxes, or bundles containing their clothes that they had +secured, conversing with each other, or playing at cards or draughts. +Our entrance appeared to excite little attention; after having raised +their eyes to indulge their curiosity, they continued their pursuits. I +have often thought what a feeling of selfishness appeared to pervade the +whole of them. At the time I was shocked, as I expected immediate +sympathy and commiseration; but afterwards I was not surprised. Many of +these poor fellows had been months in the prison, and a short +confinement will produce that indifference to the misfortunes of others, +which I then observed. Indeed, one man, who was playing at cards, looked +up for a moment as we came in, and cried out, "Hurrah, my lads! the more +the merrier," as if he really was pleased to find that there were others +who were as unfortunate as himself. We stood looking at the groups for +about ten minutes, when O'Brien observed, "that we might as well come to +an anchor, foul ground being better than no bottom;" so we sat down in a +corner, upon our bundles, where we remained for more than an hour, +surveying the scene, without speaking a word to each other. I could not +speak--I felt so very miserable. I thought of my father and mother in +England, of my captain and my messmates, who were sailing about so +happily in the frigate, of the kind Colonel O'Brien, and dear little +Celeste, and the tears trickled down my cheeks as these scenes of former +happiness passed through my mind in quick succession. O'Brien did not +speak but once, and then he only said, "This is dull work, Peter." + +We had been in the prison about two hours, when a lad in a very greasy, +ragged jacket, with a pale emaciated face, came up to us, and said, "I +perceive by your uniforms that you are both officers, as well as +myself." + +O'Brien stared at him for a little while, and then answered, "Upon my +soul and honour, then, you've the advantage of us, for it's more than I +could perceive in you; but I'll take your word for it. Pray what ship +may have had the misfortune of losing such a credit to the service?" + +"Why, I belonged to the _Snapper_ cutter," replied the young lad; "I was +taken in a prize, which the commanding officer had given in my charge to +take to Gibraltar: but they won't believe that I'm an officer. I have +applied for officer's allowance and rations, and they won't give them to +me." + +"Well, but they know that we are officers," replied O'Brien; "why do +they shove us in here, with the common seamen?" + +"I suppose you are only put in here for the present," replied the +cutter's midshipman; "but why I cannot tell." + +Nor could we, until afterwards, when we found out, as our narrative will +show, that the officer who received us from the cuirassiers had once +quarrelled with Colonel O'Brien, who first pulled his nose, and +afterwards ran him through the body. Being told by the cuirassiers that +we were much esteemed by Colonel O'Brien, he resolved to annoy us as +much as he could; and when he sent up the document announcing our +arrival, he left out the word "Officers," and put us in confinement with +the common seamen. "It's very hard upon me not to have my regular +allowance as an officer," continued the midshipman. "They only give me a +black loaf and three sous a day. If I had had my best uniform on, they +never would have disputed my being an officer; but the scoundrels who +retook the prize stole all my traps, and I have nothing but this old +jacket." + +"Why, then," replied O'Brien, "you'll know the value of dress for the +future. You cutter and gun-brig midshipmen go about in such a dirty +state, that you are hardly acknowledged by us who belong to frigates to +be officers, much less gentlemen. You look so dirty, and so slovenly +when we pass you in the dockyard, that we give you a wide berth; how +then can you suppose strangers to believe that you are either officers +or gentlemen? Upon my conscience, I absolve the Frenchmen from all +prejudice, for, as to, your being an officer, we, as Englishmen have +nothing but your bare word for it." + +"Well, it's very hard," replied the lad, "to be attacked this way by a +brother officer; your coat will be as shabby as mine, before you have +been here long." + +"That's very true, my darling," returned O'Brien: "but at least I shall +have the pleasant reflection that I came in as a gentleman, although I +may not exactly go out under the same appearance. Good night, and +pleasant dreams to you!" I thought O'Brien rather cross in speaking in +such a way, but he was himself always as remarkably neat and well +dressed, as he was handsome and well made. + +Fortunately we were not destined to remain long in this detestable hole. +After a night of misery, during which we remained sitting on our +bundles, and sleeping how we could, leaning with our backs against the +damp wall, we were roused, at daybreak by the unbarring of the prison +doors, followed up with an order to go into the prison yard. We were +huddled out like a flock of sheep, by a file of soldiers with loaded +muskets; and, as we went into the yard, were ranged two and two. The +same officer who ordered us into prison, commanded the detachment of +soldiers who had us in charge. O'Brien stepped out of the ranks, and, +addressing them, stated that we were officers, and had no right to be +treated like common sailors. The French officer replied, that he had +better information, and that we wore coats which did not belong to us; +upon which O'Brien was in a great rage, calling the officer a liar, and +demanding satisfaction for the insult, appealing to the French soldiers, +and stating, that Colonel O'Brien, who was at Cette, was his countryman, +and had received him for two months into his house upon parole, which +was quite sufficient to establish his being an officer. The French +soldiers appeared to side with O'Brien after they had heard this +explanation, stating that no common English sailor could speak such good +French, and that they were present when we were sent in on parole, and +they asked the officer whether he intended to give satisfaction. The +officer stormed, and drawing his sword out of the scabbard, struck +O'Brien with the flat of the blade, looking at him with contempt, and +ordering him into the ranks. I could not help observing that, during +this scene, the men-of-war sailors who were among the prisoners, were +very indignant, while, on the contrary, those captured in merchant +vessels appeared to be pleased with the insult offered to O'Brien. One +of the French soldiers then made a sarcastic remark, that the French +officer did not much like the name of O'Brien. This so enraged the +officer, that he flew at O'Brien, pushed him back into the ranks, and +taking out a pistol, threatened to shoot him through the head. I must do +the justice to the French soldiers, that they all cried out "Shame!" +They did not appear to have the same discipline, or the same respect for +an officer, as the soldiers have in our service, or they would not have +been so free in their language; yet, at the same time, they obeyed all +his orders on service very implicitly. + +When O'Brien returned to the ranks, he looked defiance at the officer, +telling him, "That he would pocket the affront very carefully, as he +intended to bring it out again upon a future and more suitable +occasion." We were then marched out in ranks, two and two, being met at +the street by two drummers, and a crowd of people, who had gathered to +witness our departure. The drums beat, and away we went. The officer who +had charge of us mounted a small horse, galloping up and down from one +end of the ranks to the other, with his sword drawn, bullying, swearing, +and striking with the flat of the blade at any one of the prisoners who +was not in his proper place. When we were close to the gates, we were +joined by another detachment of prisoners: we were then ordered to halt, +and were informed, through an interpreter, that any one attempting to +escape would immediately be shot, after which information we once more +proceeded on our route. + +Nothing remarkable occurred during our first day's march, except perhaps +a curious conversation between O'Brien and one of the French soldiers, +in which they disputed about the comparative bravery of the two nations. +O'Brien, in his argument, told the Frenchman that his countrymen could +not stand a charge of English bayonets. The Frenchman replied that there +was no doubt but the French were quite as brave as the English--even +more so; and that, as for not standing the charge of bayonets, it was +not because they were less brave; but the fact was, that they were most +excessively _ticklish_. We had black bread and sour wine served out to +us this day, when we halted to refresh. O'Brien persuaded a soldier to +purchase something for us more eatable; but the French officer heard of +it, and was very angry, ordering the soldier to the rear. + + + + +Chapter XX + +O'Brien fights a duel with a French officer, and proves that the great +art of fencing is knowing nothing about it--We arrive at our new +quarters, which we find very secure. + + +At night we arrived at a small town, the name of which I forget. Here we +were all put into an old church for the night, and a very bad night we +passed. They did not even give us a little straw to lie down upon: the +roof of the church had partly fallen in, and the moon shone through very +brightly. This was some comfort; for to have been shut up in the dark, +seventy-five in number, would have been very miserable. We were afraid +to lie down anywhere, as, like all ruined buildings in France, the +ground was covered with filth, and the smell was shocking. O'Brien was +very thoughtful, and would hardly answer any question that I put to him; +it was evident that he was brooding over the affront which he had +received from the French officer. At daybreak, the door of the church +was again opened by the French soldiers, and we were conducted to the +square of the town, where we found the troops quartered, drawn up with +their officers, to receive us from the detachment who had escorted us +from Toulon. We were very much pleased with this, as we knew that we +should be forwarded by another detachment, and thus be rid of the brutal +officer who had hitherto had charge of the prisoners. But we were rid of +him in another way. As the French officers walked along our ranks to +look at us, I perceived among them a captain, whom we had known very +intimately when we were living at Cette with Colonel O'Brien. I cried +out his name immediately; he turned round, and seeing O'Brien and me, he +came up to us, shaking us by the hand, and expressing his surprise at +finding us in such a situation. O'Brien explained to him how we had been +treated, at which he expressed his indignation, as did the other +officers who had collected round us. The major who commanded the troops +in the town turned to the French officer (he was only a lieutenant) who +had conducted us from Toulon, and demanded of him his reason for +behaving to us in such an unworthy manner. He denied having treated us +ill, and said that he had been informed that we had put on officers' +dresses which did not belong to us. At this O'Brien declared that he was +a liar, and a cowardly _foutre_, that he had struck him with the back of +his sabre, which he would not have dared do if he had not been a +prisoner; adding, that all he requested was satisfaction for the insult +offered to him, and appealed to the officers whether, if it were +refused, the lieutenant's epaulets ought not to be cut off his +shoulders. The major commandant and the officers retired to consult, +and, after a few minutes, they agreed that the lieutenant was bound to +give the satisfaction required. The lieutenant replied that he was +ready; but, at the same time, did not appear to be very willing. The +prisoners were left in charge of the soldiers, under a junior officer, +while the others, accompanied by O'Brien, myself, and the lieutenant, +walked to a short distance outside the town. As we proceeded there, I +asked O'Brien with what weapons they would fight. + +"I take it for granted," replied he, "that it will be with the small +sword." + +"But," said I, "do you know anything about fencing?" + +"Devil a bit, Peter; but that's all in my favour." + +"How can that be?" replied I. + +"I'll tell you, Peter. If one man fences well, and another is but an +indifferent hand at it, it is clear that the first will run the other +through the body; but, if the other knows nothing at all about it, why +then, Peter, the case is not quite so clear: because the good fencer is +almost as much puzzled by your ignorance as you are by his skill, and +you become on more equal terms. Now, Peter, I've made up my mind that +I'll run that fellow through the body, and so I will, as sure as I am an +O'Brien." + +"Well, I hope you will; but pray do not be too sure." + +"It's feeling sure that will make me able to do it, Peter. By the blood +of the O'Briens! didn't he slap me with his sword, as if I were a clown +in the pantomime. Peter, I'll kill the harlequin scoundrel, and my +word's as good as my bond!" + +By this time we had arrived at the ground. The French lieutenant +stripped to his shirt and trousers; O'Brien did the same, kicking his +boots off, and standing upon the wet grass in his stockings. The swords +were measured, and handed to them; they took their distance, and set to. +I must say, that I was breathless with anxiety; the idea of losing +O'Brien struck me with grief and terror. I then felt the value of all +his kindness to me, and would have taken his place, and have been run +through the body, rather than he should have been hurt. At first, +O'Brien put himself in the correct attitude of defence, in imitation of +the lieutenant, but this was for a very few seconds; he suddenly made a +spring, and rushed on to his adversary, stabbing at him with a velocity +quite astonishing, the lieutenant parrying in his defence, until at last +he had an opportunity of lungeing at O'Brien. O'Brien, who no longer +kept his left arm raised in equipoise, caught the sword of the +lieutenant at within six inches of the point, and directing it under his +left arm, as he rushed in, passed his own through the lieutenant's body. +It was all over in less than a minute--the lieutenant did not live half +an hour afterwards. The French officers were very much surprised at the +result, for they perceived at once that O'Brien knew nothing of fencing. +O'Brien gathered a tuft of grass, wiped the sword, which he presented to +the officer to whom it belonged, and thanking the major and the whole of +them for their impartiality and gentlemanlike conduct, led the way to +the square, where he again took his station in the ranks of the +prisoners. + +Shortly after, the major commandant came up to us, and asked whether we +would accept of our parole, as, in that case, we might travel as we +pleased. We consented, with many thanks for his civility and kindness; +but I could not help thinking at the time, that the French officers were +a little mortified at O'Brien's success, although they were too +honourable to express the feeling. O'Brien told me, after we had quitted +the town, that had it not been for the handsome conduct of the officers, +he would not have accepted our parole, as he felt convinced that we +could have easily made our escape. We talked over the matter a long +while, and at last agreed that there would be a better chance of success +by and by, when more closely guarded, than there would be now, under +consideration of all circumstances, as it required previously concerted +arrangements to get out of the country. + +I had almost forgotten to say, that on our return after the duel the +cutter's midshipman called out to O'Brien, requesting him to state to +the commandant that he was also an officer; but O'Brien replied, that +there was no evidence for it but his bare word. If he was an officer he +must prove it himself, as everything in his appearance flatly +contradicted his assertion. + +"It's very hard," replied the midshipman, "that because my jacket's a +little tarry or so I must lose my rank." + +"My dear fellow," replied O'Brien, "it's not because your jacket's a +little tarry; it is because what the Frenchmen call your _tout ensemble_ +is quite disgraceful in an officer. Look at your face in the first +puddle, and you'll find that it would dirty the water you look into. +Look at your shoulders above your ears, and your back with a bow like a +_kink_ in a cable. Your trowsers, sir, you have pulled your legs too far +through, showing a foot and a half of worsted stockings. In short, look +at yourself altogether, and then tell me, provided you be an officer, +whether, from respect to the service, it would not be my duty to +contradict it. It goes against my conscience, my dear fellow; but +recollect that when we arrive at the depot, you will be able to prove +it, so it's only waiting a little while, until the captains will pass +their word for you, which is more than I will." + +"Well, it's very hard," replied the midshipman, "that I must go on +eating this black rye bread; and very unkind of you." + +"It's very kind of me, you spalpeen of the Snapper. Prison will be a +paradise to you, when you get into good commons. How you'll relish your +grub by-and-by! So now shut your pan, or by the tail of Jonah's whale, +I'll swear you're a Spaniard." + +I could not help thinking that O'Brien was very severe upon the poor +lad, and I expostulated with him afterwards. He replied, "Peter, if, as +a cutter's midshipman, he is a bit of an officer, the devil a bit is he +of a gentleman, either born or bred: and I'm not bound to bail every +blackguard-looking chap that I meet. By the head of St Peter, I would +blush to be seen in his company, if I were in the wildest bog in +Ireland, with nothing but an old crow as spectator." + +We were now again permitted to be on our parole, and received every +attention and kindness from the different officers who commanded the +detachments which passed the prisoners from one town to another. In a +few days we arrived at Montpelier, where we had orders to remain a short +time until directions were received from Government as to the depots for +prisoners to which we were to be sent. At this delightful town, we had +unlimited parole, not even a gendarme accompanying us. We lived at the +table d'hote, were permitted to walk about where we pleased, and amused +ourselves every evening at the theatre. During our stay there we wrote +to Colonel O'Brien at Cette, thanking him for his kindness, and +narrating what had occurred since we parted. I also wrote to Celeste, +inclosing my letter unsealed in the one to Colonel O'Brien. I told her +the history of O'Brien's duel, and all I could think would interest her; +how sorry I was to have parted from her; that I never would forget her; +and trusted that some day, as she was only half a Frenchwoman, we should +meet again. Before we left Montpelier, we had the pleasure of receiving +answers to our letters: the colonel's letters were very kind, +particularly the one to me, in which he called me his dear boy, and +hoped that I should soon rejoin my friends, and prove an ornament to my +country. In his letter to O'Brien, he requested him not to run me into +useless danger--to recollect that I was not so well able to undergo +extreme hardship. I have no doubt but that this caution referred to +O'Brien's intention to escape from prison, which he had not concealed +from the colonel, and the probability that I would be a partner in the +attempt. The answer from Celeste was written in English; but she must +have had assistance from her father, or she could not have succeeded so +well. It was like herself, very kind and affectionate; and also ended +with wishing me a speedy return to my friends, who must (she said) be so +fond of me, that she despaired of ever seeing me more, but that she +consoled herself as well as she could with the assurance that I should +be happy. I forgot to say, that Colonel O'Brien, in his letter to me, +stated that he expected immediate orders to leave Cette, and take the +command of some military post in the interior, or join the army, but +which, he could not tell; that they had packed up everything, and he was +afraid that our correspondence must cease, as he could not state to what +place we should direct our letters. I could not help thinking at the +time, that it was a delicate way of pointing out to us that it was not +right that he should correspond with us in our relative situations; but +still, I was sure that he was about to leave Cette, for he never would +have made use of a subterfuge. I must here acquaint the reader with a +circumstance which I forgot to mention, which was that when Captain +Savage sent in a flag of truce with our clothes and money, I thought +that it was but justice to O'Brien that they should know on board of the +frigate the gallant manner in which he had behaved. I knew that he would +never tell himself, so, ill as I was at the time, I sent for Colonel +O'Brien, and requested him to write down my statement of the affair, in +which I mentioned how O'Brien had spiked the last gun, and had been +taken prisoner by so doing, together with his attempting to save me. +When the colonel had written all down, I requested that he would send +for the major, who first entered the fort with the troops, and translate +it to him in French. This he did in my presence, and the major declared +every word to be true. "Will he attest it, colonel, as it may be of +great service to O'Brien?" The major immediately assented. Colonel +O'Brien then enclosed my letter, with a short note from himself, to +Captain Savage, paying him a compliment, and assuring him that his +gallant young officers should be treated with every attention, and all +the kindness which the rules of war would admit of. O'Brien never knew +that I had sent that letter, as the colonel, at my request, kept the +secret. + +In ten days we received an order to march on the following morning. The +sailors, among whom was our poor friend the midshipman of the Snapper +cutter, were ordered to Verdun; O'Brien and I, with eight masters of +merchant vessels, who joined us at Montpelier, were directed by the +Government to be sent to Givet, a fortified town in the department of +Ardennes. But, at the same time, orders arrived from Government to treat +the prisoners with great strictness, and not to allow any parole; the +reason of this, we were informed, was that accounts had been sent to +Government of the death of the French officer in the duel with O'Brien, +and they had expressed their dissatisfaction at its having been +permitted. Indeed, I very much doubt whether it would have been +permitted in our country, but the French officers are almost +romantically chivalrous in their ideas of honour; in fact, as enemies, I +have always considered them as worthy antagonists to the English, and +they appear more respectable in themselves, and more demanding our +goodwill in that situation, than they do when we meet them as friends, +and are acquainted with the other points of their character, which +lessen them in our estimation. + +I shall not dwell upon a march of three weeks, during which we +alternately received kind or unhandsome treatment, according to the +dispositions of those who had us in charge; but I must observe, that it +was invariably the case, that officers who were gentlemen by birth +treated us with consideration, while those who had sprung from nothing +during the Revolution, were harsh, and sometimes even brutal. It was +exactly four months from the time of our capture that we arrived at our +destined prison at Givet. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, as he looked hastily at the fortifications, and +the river which divided the two towns, "I see no reason, either English +or French, that we should not eat our Christmas dinner in England. I've +a bird's eye view of the outside, and now, have only to find out +where-abouts we may be in the inside." + +I must say that, when I looked at the ditches and high ramparts, I had a +different opinion; so had a gendarme who was walking by our side, and +who had observed O'Brien's scrutiny, and who quietly said to him in +French, "_Vous le croyez possible!_" + +"Everything is possible to a brave man--the French armies have proved +that," answered O'Brien. + +"You are right," replied the gendarme, pleased with the compliment to +his nation; "I wish you success, you will deserve it; but--" and he +shook his head. + +"If I could but obtain a plan of the fortress," said O'Brien, "I would +give five Napoleons for one," and he looked at the gendarme. + +"I cannot see any objection to an officer, although a prisoner, studying +fortification," replied the gendarme. "In two hours you will be within +the walls; and now I recollect, in the map of the two towns, the +fortress is laid down sufficiently accurately to give you an idea of it. +But we have conversed too long." So saying, the gendarme dropped into +the rear. + +In a quarter of an hour, we arrived at the Place d'Armes, where we were +met, as usual, by another detachment of troops, and drummers, who +paraded us through the town previous to our being drawn up before the +governor's house. This, I ought to have observed, was, by order of +Government, done at every town we passed through; it was very +contemptible, but prisoners were so scarce, that they made all the +display of us that they could. As we stopped at the governor's house, +the gendarme, who had left us in the square, made a sign to O'Brien, as +much as to say, I have it. O'Brien took out five Napoleons, which he +wrapped in paper, and held in his hand. In a minute or two, the gendarme +came up and presented O'Brien with an old silk handkerchief, saying, +"_Votre mouchoir, monsieur_." + +"_Merci,"_ replied O'Brien, putting the handkerchief which contained the +map into his pocket, "_voici à boire, mon ami_;" and he slipped the +paper with the five Napoleons into the hand of the gendarme, who +immediately retreated. + +This was very fortunate for us, as we afterwards discovered that a mark +had been put against O'Brien's and my name, not to allow parole or +permission to leave the fortress, even under surveillance. Indeed, even +if it had not been so, we never should have obtained it, as the +lieutenant killed by O'Brien was nearly related to the commandant of the +fortress, who was as much a _mauvais sujet_ as his kinsman. Having +waited the usual hour before the governor's house, to answer to our +muster-roll, and to be stared at, we were dismissed; and in a few +minutes, found ourselves shut up in one of the strongest fortresses in +France. + + + + +Chapter XXI + +O'Brien receives his commission as lieutenant, and then we take French +leave of Givet. + + +If I doubted the practicability of escape when I examined the exterior, +when we were ushered into the interior of the fortress, I felt that it +was impossible, and I stated my opinion to O'Brien. We were conducted +into a yard surrounded by a high wall; the buildings appropriated for +the prisoners were built with _lean-to_ roofs on one side, and at each +side of the square was a sentry looking down upon us. It was very much +like the dens which they now build for bears, only so much larger. +O'Brien answered me with a "Pish! Peter, it's the very security of the +place which will enable us to get out of it. But don't talk, as there +are always spies about who understand English." + +We were shown into a room allotted to six of us; our baggage was +examined, and then delivered over to us. "Better and better, Peter," +observed O'Brien, "they've not found it out!" + +"What?" inquired I. + +"Oh, only a little selection of articles, which might be useful to us +by-and-by." + +He then showed me what I never before was aware of: that he had a false +bottom to his trunk; but it was papered over like the rest, and very +ingeniously concealed. "And what is there, O'Brien?" inquired I. + +"Never mind; I had them made at Montpelier. You'll see by-and-by." + +The others, who were lodged in the same room, then came in, and after +staying a quarter of an hour, went away at the sound of the dinner-bell. +"Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "I must get rid of my load. Turn the key." + +O'Brien then undressed himself, and when he threw off his shirt and +drawers, showed me a rope of silk, with a knot at every two feet, about +half-an-inch in size, wound round and round his body. There were about +sixty feet of it altogether. As I unwound it, he, turning round and +round, observed, "Peter, I've worn this rope ever since I left +Montpelier, and you've no idea of the pain I have suffered; but we must +go to England, that's decided upon." + +When I looked at O'Brien, as the rope was wound off, I could easily +imagine that he had really been in great pain; in several places his +flesh was quite raw from the continual friction, and after it was all +unwound, and he had put on his clothes, he fainted away. I was very much +alarmed, but I recollected to put the rope into the trunk, and take out +the key, before I called for assistance. He soon came to, and on being +asked what was the matter, said that he was subject to fits from his +infancy. He looked earnestly at me, and I showed him the key, which was +sufficient. + +For some days O'Brien, who really was not very well, kept to his room. +During this time, he often examined the map given him by the gendarme. +One day he said to me, "Peter, can you swim?" + +"No," replied I; "but never mind that." + +"But I must mind it, Peter; for observe, we shall have to cross the +river Meuse, and boats are not always to be had. You observe, that this +fortress is washed by the river on one side: and as it is the strongest +side, it is the least guarded--we must escape by it. I can see my way +clear enough till we get to the second rampart on the river, but when we +drop into the river, if you cannot swim, I must contrive to hold you up, +somehow or another." + +"Are you then determined to escape, O'Brien? I cannot perceive how we +are even to get up this wall, with four sentries staring us in the +face." + +"Never do you mind that, Peter, mind your own business; and first tell +me, do you intend to try your luck with me?" + +"Yes," replied I, "most certainly; if you have sufficient confidence in +me to take me as your companion." + +"To tell you the truth, Peter, I would not give a farthing to escape +without you. We were taken together, and, please God, we'll take +ourselves off together; but that must not be for this month; our +greatest help will be the dark nights and foul weather." + +The prison was by all accounts very different from Verdun and some +others. We had no parole, and but little communication with the +townspeople. Some were permitted to come in and supply us with various +articles; but their baskets were searched to see that they contained +nothing that might lead to an escape on the part of the prisoners. +Without the precautions that O'Brien had taken, any attempt would have +been useless. Still, O'Brien, as soon as he left his room, did obtain +several little articles--especially balls of twine--for one of the +amusements of the prisoners was flying kites. This, however, was put a +stop to, in consequence of one of the strings, whether purposely or +not, I cannot say, catching the lock of the musket carried by one of +the sentries who looked down upon us, and twitching it out of his hand; +after which an order was given by the commandant for no kites to be +permitted. This was fortunate for us, as O'Brien, by degrees, +purchased all the twine belonging to the other prisoners; and, as we +were more than three hundred in number, it amounted to sufficient to +enable him, by stealth, to lay it up into very strong cord, or rather, +into a sort of square plait, known only to sailors. "Now, Peter," said +he one day, "I want nothing more than an umbrella for you." + +"Why an umbrella for me?" + +"To keep you from being drowned with too much water, that's all." + +"Rain won't drown me." + +"No, no, Peter; but buy a new one as soon as you can." + +I did so. O'Brien boiled up a quantity of bees' wax and oil, and gave it +several coats of this preparation. He then put it carefully away in the +ticking of his bed. I asked him whether he intended to make known his +plan to any of the other prisoners; he replied in the negative, saying, +that there were so many of them who could not be trusted, that he +would trust no one. We had been now about two months in Givet, when a +Steel's List was sent to a lieutenant, who was confined there. The +lieutenant came up to O'Brien, and asked him his Christian name. + +"Terence, to be sure," replied O'Brien. + +"Then," answered the lieutenant, "I may congratulate you on your +promotion, for here you are upon the list of August." + +"Sure there must be some trifling mistake; let me look at it. Terence +O'Brien, sure enough; but now the question is, has any other fellow +robbed me of my name and promotion at the same time? Bother, what can it +mane? I won't belave it--not a word of it. I've no more interest than a +dog who drags cats'-meat." + +"Really, O'Brien," observed I, "I cannot see why you should not be made; +I am sure you deserve your promotion for your conduct when you were +taken prisoner." + +"And what did I do then, you simple Peter, but put you on my back as the +men do their hammocks when they are piped down; but, barring all claim, +how could any one know what took place in the battery, except you, and +I, and the armourer, who lay dead? So explain that, Peter, if you can." + +"I think I can," replied I, after the lieutenant had left us. And I then +told O'Brien how I had written to Captain Savage, and had had the fact +attested by the major who had made us prisoners. + +"Well, Peter," said O'Brien, after a pause, "there's a fable about a +lion and a mouse. If, by your means, I have obtained my promotion, why +then the mouse is a finer baste than the lion; but instead of being +happy, I shall now be miserable until the truth is ascertained one way +or the other, and that's another reason why I must set off to England as +fast as I can." + +For a few days after this O'Brien was very uneasy; but fortunately +letters arrived by that time; one to me from my father, in which he +requested me to draw for whatever money I might require, saying that the +whole family would retrench in every way to give me all the comfort +which might be obtained in my unfortunate situation. I wept at his +kindness, and more than ever longed to throw myself in his arms, and +thank him. He also told me that my uncle William was dead, and that +there was only one between him and the title, but that my grandfather +was in good health, and had been very kind to him lately. My mother was +much afflicted at my having been made a prisoner, and requested I would +write as often as I could. O'Brien's letter was from Captain Savage; the +frigate had been sent home with despatches, and O'Brien's conduct +represented to the Admiralty, which had, in consequence, promoted him to +the rank of lieutenant. O'Brien came to me with the letter, his +countenance radiant with joy as he put it into my hands. In return I put +mine into his, and he read it over. + +"Peter, my boy, I'm under great obligations to you. When you were +wounded and feverish, you thought of me at a time when you had quite +enough to think of yourself; but I never thank in words. I see your +uncle William is dead. How many more uncles have you?" + +"My uncle John, who is married, and has already two daughters." + +"Blessings on him; may he stick to the female line of business! Peter, +my boy, you shall be a lord before you die." + +"Nonsense, O'Brien; I have no chance. Don't put such foolish ideas in my +head." + +"What chance had I of being a lieutenant, and am I not one? Well, Peter, +you've helped to make a lieutenant of me, but I'll make a _man_ of you, +and that's better. Peter, I perceive, with all your simplicity, that +you're not over and above simple, and that, with all your asking for +advice, you can think and act for yourself on an emergency. Now, Peter, +these are talents that must not be thrown away in this cursed hole, and +therefore, my boy, prepare yourself to quit this place in a week, wind +and weather permitting; that is to say, not fair wind and weather, but +the fouler the better. Will you be ready at any hour of any night that I +call you up?" + +"Yes, O'Brien, I will, and do my best." + +"No man can do much more that ever I heard of. But, Peter, do me one +favour, as I am really a lieutenant, just touch your hat to me only +once, that's all; but I wish the compliment, just to see how it looks." + +"Lieutenant O'Brien," said I, touching my hat, "have you any further +orders?" + +"Yes, sir," replied he; "that you never presume to touch your hat to me +again, unless we sail together, and then that's a different sort of +thing." + +About a week afterwards, O'Brien came to me, and said, "The new moon's +quartered in with foul weather; if it holds, prepare for a start. I have +put what is necessary in your little haversack; it may be to-night. Go +to bed now, and sleep for a week if you can, for you'll get but little +sleep, if we succeed, for the week to come." + +This was about eight o'clock. I went to bed, and about twelve I was +roused by O'Brien, who told me to dress myself carefully, and come down +to him in the yard. I did so without disturbing any body, and found the +night as dark as pitch (it was then November), and raining in torrents; +the wind was high, howling round the yard, and sweeping in the rain in +every direction as it eddied to and fro. It was some time before I could +find O'Brien, who was hard at work; and, as I had already been made +acquainted with all his plans, I will now explain them. At Montpelier he +had procured six large pieces of iron, about eighteen inches long, with +a gimlet at one end of each, and a square at the other, which fitted to +a handle which unshipped. For precaution he had a spare handle, but each +handle fitted to all the irons. O'Brien had screwed one of these pieces +of iron between the interstices of the stones of which the wall was +built, and sitting astride on that, was fixing another about three feet +above. When he had accomplished this, he stood upon the lower iron, and +supporting himself by the second, which about met his hip, he screwed in +a third, always fixing them about six inches on one side of the other, +and not one above the other. When he had screwed in his six irons, he +was about half up the wall, and then he fastened his rope, which he had +carried round his neck, to the upper iron, and lowering himself down, +unscrewed the four lower irons: then ascending by the rope, he stood +upon the fifth iron, and supporting himself by the upper iron, +recommenced his task. By these means he arrived in the course of an hour +and a half to the top of the wall, where he fixed his last iron, and +making his rope fast, he came down again. "Now, Peter," said he, "there +is no fear of the sentries seeing us; if they had the eyes of cats, they +could not until we were on the top of the wall; but then we arrive at +the glacis, and we must creep to the ramparts on our bellies. I am going +up with all the materials. Give me your haversack--you will go up +lighter; and recollect, should any accident happen to me, you run to bed +again. If, on the contrary, I pull the rope up and down three or four +times, you may sheer up it as fast as you can." O'Brien then loaded +himself with the other rope, the two knapsacks, iron crows, and other +implements he had procured; and, last of all, with the umbrella. "Peter, +if the rope bears me with all this, it is clear it will bear such a +creature as you are, therefore don't be afraid." So whispering, he +commenced his ascent; in about three minutes he was up, and the rope +pulled. I immediately followed him, and found the rope very easy to +climb, from the knots at every two feet, which gave me a hold for my +feet, and I was up in as short a time as he was. He caught me by the +collar, putting his wet hand on my mouth, and I lay down beside him +while he pulled up the rope. We then crawled on our stomachs across the +glacis till we arrived at the rampart. The wind blew tremendously, and +the rain pattered down so fast, that the sentries did not perceive us; +indeed, it was no fault of theirs, for it was impossible to have made us +out. It was some time before O'Brien could find out the point exactly +above the drawbridge of the first ditch; at last he did--he fixed his +crow-bar in, and lowered down the rope. "Now, Peter, I had better go +first again; when I shake the rope from below, all's right." O'Brien +descended, and in a few minutes the rope again shook; I followed him, +and found myself received in his arms upon the meeting of the +drawbridge; but the drawbridge itself was up. O'Brien led the way across +the chains, and I followed him. When we had crossed the moat, we found a +barrier gate locked; this puzzled us. O'Brien pulled out his picklocks +to pick it, but without success; here we were fast. "We must undermine +the gate, O'Brien; we must pull up the pavement until we can creep +under." "Peter, you are a fine fellow; I never thought of that." We +worked very hard until the hole was large enough, using the crow-bar +which was left, and a little wrench which O'Brien had with him. By these +means we got under the gate in the course of an hour or more. This gate +led to the lower rampart, but we had a covered way to pass through +before we arrived at it. We proceeded very cautiously, when we heard a +noise: we stopped, and found that it was a sentry, who was fast asleep, +and snoring. Little expecting to find one here, we were puzzled; pass +him we could not well, as he was stationed on the very spot where we +required to place our crow-bar to descend the lower rampart into the +river. O'Brien thought for a moment. "Peter," said he, "now is the time +for you to prove yourself a man. He is fast asleep, but his noise must +be stopped. I will stop his mouth, but at the very moment that I do so +you must throw open the pan of his musket, and then he cannot fire it." +"I will, O'Brien; don't fear me." We crept cautiously up to him, and +O'Brien motioning to me to put my thumb upon the pan, I did so, and the +moment that O'Brien put his hand upon the soldier's mouth, I threw open +the pan. The fellow struggled, and snapped his lock as a signal, but of +course without discharging his musket, and in a minute he was not only +gagged but bound by O'Brien, with my assistance. Leaving him there, we +proceeded to the rampart, and fixing the crow-bar again, O'Brien +descended; I followed him, and found him in the river, hanging on to the +rope; the umbrella was opened and turned upwards; the preparation made +it resist the water, and, as previously explained to me by O'Brien, I +had only to hold on at arm's length to two beckets which he had affixed +to the point of the umbrella, which was under water. To the same part +O'Brien had a tow-line, which taking in his teeth, he towed me down with +the stream to about a hundred yards clear of the fortress, where we +landed. O'Brien was so exhausted that for a few minutes he remained +quite motionless; I also was benumbed with the cold. "Peter," said he, +"thank God we have succeeded so far; now must we push on as far as we +can, for we shall have daylight in two hours." O'Brien took out his +flask of spirits, and we both drank a half tumbler at least, but we +should not in our state have been affected with a bottle. We now walked +along the river-side till we fell in with a small craft, with a boat +towing astern: O'Brien swam to it, and cutting the painter without +getting in, towed it on shore. The oars were fortunately in the boat. I +got in, we shoved off, and rowed away down the stream till the dawn of +day. "All's right, Peter; now we'll land. This is the Forest of +Ardennes." We landed, replaced the oars in the boat, and pushed her off +into the stream, to induce people to suppose that she had broken adrift, +and then hastened into the thickest of the wood. It still rained hard; I +shivered, and my teeth chattered with the cold, but there was no help +for it. We again took a dram of spirits, and, worn out with fatigue and +excitement, soon fell fast asleep upon a bed of leaves which we had +collected together. + + + + +Chapter XXII + +Grave consequences of gravitation--O'Brien enlists himself as a +gendarme, and takes charge of me--We are discovered, and obliged to run +for it--The pleasures of a winter bivouac. + + +It was not until noon that I awoke, when I found that O'Brien had +covered me more than a foot deep with leaves to protect me from the +weather. I felt quite warm and comfortable; my clothes had dried on me, +but without giving me cold. "How very kind of you, O'Brien!" said I. + +"Not a bit, Peter: you have hard work to go through yet, and I must take +care of you. You're but a bud, and I'm a full-blown rose." So saying, he +put the spirit-flask to his mouth, and then handed it to me. "Now, +Peter, we must make a start, for depend upon it they will scour the +country for us; but this is a large wood, and they may as well attempt +to find a needle in a bundle of hay, if we once get into the heart of +it." + +"I think," said I, "that this forest is mentioned by Shakespeare, in one +of his plays." + +"Very likely, Peter," replied O'Brien; "but we are at no playwork now; +and what reads amazing prettily, is no joke in reality. I've often +observed, that your writers never take the weather into consideration." + +"I beg your pardon, O'Brien; in King Lear the weather was tremendous." + +"Very likely; but who was the king that went out in such weather?" + +"King Lear did, when he was mad." + +"So he was, that's certain, Peter; but runaway prisoners have some +excuse; so now for a start." + +We set off, forcing our way through the thicket, for about three hours, +O'Brien looking occasionally at his pocket compass; it then was again +nearly dark, and O'Brien proposed a halt. We made up a bed of leaves for +the night, and slept much more comfortably than we had the night before. +All our bread was wet, but as we had no water, it was rather a relief; +the meat we had with us was sufficient for a week. Once more we laid +down and fell fast asleep. About five o'clock in the morning I was +roused by O'Brien, who at the same time put his hand gently over my +mouth. I sat up, and perceived a large fire not far from us. "The +Philistines are upon us, Peter," said he; "I have reconnoitred, and they +are the gendarmes. I'm fearful of going away, as we may stumble upon +some more of them. I've been thinking what's best before I waked you; +and it appears to me, that we had better get up the tree, and lie +there." + +At that time we were hidden in a copse of underwood, with a large oak in +the centre, covered with ivy. "I think so too, O'Brien; shall we go up +now, or wait a little?" + +"Now, to be sure, that they're eating their prog. Mount you, Peter, and +I'll help you." + +O'Brien shoved me up the tree, and then waiting a little while to bury +our haversacks among the leaves, he followed me. He desired me to remain +in a very snug position, on the first fork of the tree, while he took +another, amongst a bunch of ivy, on the largest bough. There we remained +for about an hour, when day dawned. We observed the gendarmes mustered +at the break of day, by the corporal, and then they all separated in +different directions, to scour the wood. We were delighted to perceive +this, as we hoped soon to be able to get away; but there was one +gendarme who remained. He walked to and fro, looking everywhere, until +he came directly under the tree in which we were concealed. He poked +about, until at last he came to the bed of leaves upon which we had +slept; these he turned over and over with his bayonet, until he routed +out our haversacks. "Pardi!" exclaimed he, "where the nest and eggs are, +the birds are near." He then walked round the tree, looking up into +every part, but we were well concealed, and he did not discover us for +some time. At last he saw me, and ordered me to come down. I paid no +attention to him, as I had no signal from O'Brien. He walked round a +little farther, until he was directly under the branch on which O'Brien +lay. Taking up this position, he had a fairer aim at me, and levelled +his musket, saying, "_Descendez, ou je tire_." Still I continued +immoveable, for I knew not what to do. I shut my eyes, however; the +musket shortly afterwards was discharged, and, whether from fear or not +I can hardly tell, I lost my hold of a sudden, and down I came. I was +stunned with the fall, and thought that I must have been wounded, and +was very much surprised, when, instead of the gendarme, O'Brien came up +to me, and asked whether I was hurt. I answered, I believed not, and got +upon my legs, when I found the gendarme lying on the ground, breathing +heavily, but insensible. When O'Brien perceived the gendarme level his +musket at me, he immediately dropped from the bough, right upon his +head; this occasioned the musket to go off, without hitting me, and at +the same time, the weight of O'Brien's body from such a height killed +the gendarme, for he expired before we left him. "Now, Peter," said +O'Brien, "this is the most fortunate thing in the world, and will take +us half through the country; but we have no time to lose." He then +stripped the gendarme, who still breathed heavily, and dragging him to +our bed of leaves, covered him up, threw off his own clothes, which he +tied in a bundle, and gave to me to carry, and put on those of the +gendarme. I could not help laughing at the metamorphosis, and asked +O'Brien what he intended. "Sure, I'm a gendarme, bringing with me a +prisoner, who has escaped." He then tied my hands with a cord, +shouldered his musket, and off we set. We now quitted the wood as soon +as we could; for O'Brien said that he had no fear for the next ten days; +and so it proved. We had one difficulty, which was, that we were going +the wrong way; but that was obviated by travelling mostly at night, when +no questions were asked, except at the cabarets, where we lodged, and +they did not know which way we came. When we stopped at night, my youth +excited a great deal of commiseration, especially from the females; and +in one instance I was offered assistance to escape. I consented to it, +but at the same time informed O'Brien of the plan proposed. O'Brien kept +watch--I dressed myself, and was at the open window, when he rushed in, +seizing me, and declaring that he would inform the Government of the +conduct of the parties. Their confusion and distress were very great. +They offered O'Brien twenty, thirty, forty Napoleons, if he would hush +it up, for they were aware of the penalty and imprisonment. O'Brien +replied that he would not accept of any money in compromise of his duty; +that after he had given me into the charge of the gendarme of the next +post, his business was at an end, and he must return to Flushing, where +he was stationed. + +"I have a sister there," replied the hostess, "who keeps an inn. You'll +want good quarters, and a friendly cup; do not denounce us, and I'll +give you a letter to her, which, if it does not prove of service, you +can then return and give the information." + +O'Brien consented; the letter was delivered, and read to him, in which +the sister was requested, by the love she bore to the writer, to do all +she could for the bearer, who had the power of making the whole family +miserable, but had refused so to do. O'Brien pocketed the letter, filled +his brandy-flask, and saluting all the women, left the cabaret, dragging +me after him with a cord. The only difference, as O'Brien observed after +he went out, was, that he (O'Brien) kissed all the women, and all the +women kissed me. In this way, we had proceeded by Charleroy and Louvain, +and were within a few miles of Malines, when a circumstance occurred +which embarrassed us not a little. We were following our route, avoiding +Malines, which was a fortified town, and at the time were in a narrow +lane, with wide ditches, full of water, on each side. At the turning of +a sharp corner, we met the gendarme who had supplied O'Brien with a map +of the town of Givet. "Good morning, comrade," said he to O'Brien, +looking earnestly at him, "whom have we here?" + +"A young Englishman, whom I picked up close by, escaped from prison." + +"Where from?" + +"He will not say; but I suspect from Givet." + +"There are two who have escaped from Givet," replied he: "how they +escaped no one can imagine; but," continued he, again looking at +O'Brien, "_avec les braves, il n'y a rien d'impossible_." + +"That is true," replied O'Brien; "I have taken one, the other cannot be +far off. You had better look for him." + +"I should like to find him," replied the gendarme, "for you know that to +retake a runaway prisoner is certain promotion. You will be made a +corporal." + +"So much the better," replied O'Brien; "_adieu, mon ami_." + +"Nay, I merely came for a walk, and will return with you to Malines, +where of course you are bound." + +"We shall not get there to-night," said O'Brien, "my prisoner is too +much fatigued." + +"Well, then, we will go as far as we can; and I will assist you. Perhaps +we may find the second, who, I understand, obtained a map of the +fortress by some means or other." + +We at once perceived that we were discovered. He afterwards told us that +the body of a gendarme had been found in the wood, no doubt murdered by +the prisoners, and that the body was stripped naked. "I wonder," +continued he, "whether one of the prisoners put on his clothes, and +passed as a gendarme." + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "are we to murder this man or not?" + +"I should say not: pretend to trust him, and then we may give him the +slip." This was said during the time that the gendarme stopped a moment +behind us. + +"Well, we'll try; but first I'll put him off his guard." When the +gendarme came up with us, O'Brien observed, that the English prisoners +were very liberal; that he knew that a hundred Napoleons were often paid +for assistance, and he thought that no corporal's rank was equal to a +sum that would in France make a man happy and independent for life. + +"Very true," replied the gendarme; "and let me only look upon that sum, +and I will guarantee a positive safety out of France." + +"Then we understand each other," replied O'Brien; "this boy will give +two hundred--one half shall be yours, if you will assist." + +"I will think of it," replied the gendarme, who then talked about +indifferent subjects, until we arrived at a small town, called Acarchot, +where we proceeded to a cabaret. The usual curiosity passed over we were +left alone, O'Brien telling the gendarme that he would expect his reply +that night or to-morrow morning. The gendarme said, to-morrow morning. +O'Brien requesting him to take charge of me, he called the woman of the +cabaret to show him a room; she showed him one or two, which he refused, +as not sufficiently safe for the prisoner. The woman laughed at the +idea, observing, "What had he to fear from a _pauvre enfant_ like me?" + +"Yet this _pauvre enfant_ escaped from Givet," replied O'Brien; "these +Englishmen are devils from their birth." The last room showed to O'Brien +suited him, and he chose it--the woman not presuming to contradict a +gendarme. As soon as they came down again, O'Brien ordered me to bed, +and went up-stairs with me. He bolted the door, and pulling me to the +large chimney, we put our heads up, and whispered, that our conversation +should not be heard. "This man is not to be trusted," said O'Brien, "and +we must give him the slip. I know my way out of the inn, and we must +return the way we came, and then strike off in another direction." + +"But will he permit us?" + +"Not if he can help it; but I shall soon find out his manoeuvres." + +O'Brien then went and stopped the key-hole, by hanging his handkerchief +across it, and stripping himself of his gendarme uniform, put on his own +clothes; then he stuffed the blankets and pillow into the gendarme's +dress, and laid it down on the outside of the bed, as if it were a man +sleeping in his clothes--indeed, it was an admirable deception. He laid +his musket by the side of the image, and then did the same to my bed, +making it appear as if there was a person asleep in it, of my size, and +putting my cap on the pillow. "Now, Peter, we'll see if he is watching +us. He will wait till he thinks we are asleep." The light still remained +in the room, and about an hour afterwards we heard a noise of one +treading on the stairs, upon which, as agreed, we crept under the bed. +The latch of our door was tried, and finding it open, which he did not +expect, the gendarme entered, and looking at both beds, went away. +"Now," said I, after the gendarme had gone down-stairs, "O'Brien, ought +we not to escape?" + +"I've been thinking of it, Peter, and I have come to a resolution that +we can manage it better. He is certain to come again in an hour or two. +It is only eleven. Now I'll play him a trick." O'Brien then took one of +the blankets, make it fast to the window, which he left wide open, and +at the same time disarranged the images he had made up, so as to let the +gendarme perceive that they were counterfeit. We again crept under the +bed, and as O'Brien foretold, in about an hour more the gendarme +returned; our lamp was still burning, but he had a light of his own. He +looked at the beds, perceived at once that he had been duped, went to +the open window, and then exclaimed, "_Sacre Dieu! ils m'ont echappés et +je ne suis plus caporal. F----tre! à la chasse_!" He rushed out of the +room, and in a minute afterwards we heard him open the street door, and +go away. + +"That will do, Peter," said O'Brien, laughing; "now we'll be off also, +although there's no great hurry." O'Brien then resumed his dress of a +gendarme; and about an hour afterwards we went down, and wishing the +hostess all happiness, quitted the cabaret, returning the same road by +which we had come. "Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "we're in a bit of a +puzzle. This dress won't do any more, still there's a respectability +about it, which will not allow me to put it off till the last moment." +We walked on till daylight, when we hid ourselves in a copse of trees. +At night we again started for the forest of Ardennes, for O'Brien said +our best chance was to return, until they supposed that we had had time +to effect our escape; but we never reached the forest, for on the next +day a violent snowstorm came on; it continued without intermission for +four days, during which we suffered much. Our money was not exhausted, +as I had drawn upon my father for £60, which, with the disadvantageous +exchange, had given me fifty Napoleons. Occasionally O'Brien crept into +a cabaret, and obtained provisions; but, as we dared not be seen +together as before, we were always obliged to sleep in the open air, the +ground being covered more than three feet with snow. On the fifth day, +being then six days from the forest of Ardennes, we hid ourselves in a +small wood, about a quarter of a mile from the road. I remained there +while O'Brien, as a gendarme, went to obtain provisions. As usual, I +looked out for the best shelter during his absence, and what was my +horror at falling in with a man and woman who lay dead in the snow, +having evidently perished from the weather. Just as I discovered them, +O'Brien returned, and I told him; he went with me to view the bodies. +They were dressed in a strange attire, ribands pinned upon their +clothes, and two pairs of very high stilts lying by their sides. O'Brien +surveyed them, and then said, "Peter, this is the very best thing that +could have happened to us. We may now walk through France without +soiling our feet with the cursed country." + +"How do you mean?" + +"I mean," said he, "that these are the people that we met near +Montpelier, who come from the Landes, walking about on their stilts for +the amusement of others, to obtain money. In their own country they are +obliged to walk so. Now, Peter, it appears to me that the man's clothes +will fit me, and the girl's (poor creature, how pretty she looks, cold +in death!) will fit you. All we have to do is to practise a little, and +then away we start." + +O'Brien then, with some difficulty, pulled off the man's jacket and +trowsers, and having so done, buried him in the snow. The poor girl was +despoiled of her gown and upper petticoat, with every decency, and also +buried. We collected the clothes and stilts, and removed to another +quarter of the wood, where we found a well-sheltered spot, and took our +meal. As we did not travel that night as usual, we had to prepare our +own bed. We scraped away the snow, and made ourselves as comfortable as +we could without a fire, but the weather was dreadful. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "I'm melancholy. Here, drink plenty;" and he +handed me the flask of spirits, which had never been empty. + +"Drink more, Peter." + +"I cannot, O'Brien, without being tipsy." + +"Never mind that, drink more; see how these two poor devils lost their +lives by falling asleep in the snow. Peter," said O'Brien, starting up, +"you sha'n't sleep here--follow me." + +I expostulated in vain. It was almost dark, and he led me to the +village, near which he pitched upon a hovel (a sort of out-house). +"Peter, here is shelter; lie down and sleep, and I'll keep the watch. +Not a word, I will have it--down at once." + +I did so, and in a very few minutes was fast asleep, for I was worn out +with cold and fatigue. For several days we had walked all night, and the +rest we gained by day was trifling. Oh how I longed for a warm bed with +four or five blankets! Just as the day broke, O'Brien roused me; he had +stood sentry all night, and looked very haggard. + +"O'Brien, you are ill," said I. + +"Not a bit; but I've emptied the brandy-flask; and that's a bad job. +However, it is to be remedied." + +We then returned to the wood in a mizzling rain and fog, for the weather +had changed, and the frost had broken up. The thaw was even worse than +the frost, and we felt the cold more. O'Brien again insisted upon my +sleeping in the out-house, but this time I positively refused without he +would also sleep there, pointing out to him, that we ran no more risk, +and perhaps not so much, as if he stayed outside. Finding I was +positive, he at last consented, and we both gained it unperceived. We +lay down, but I did not go to sleep for some time, I was so anxious to +see O'Brien fast asleep. He went in and out several times, during which +I pretended to be fast asleep; at last it rained in torrents, and then +he lay down again, and in a few minutes, overpowered by nature, he fell +fast asleep, snoring so loudly, that I was afraid some one would hear +us. I then got up and watched, occasionally lying down and slumbering +awhile, and then going to the door. + + + + +Chapter XXIII + +Exalted with our success, we march through France without touching the +ground--I become feminine--We are voluntary conscripts. + + +At day-break I called O'Brien, who jumped up in a great hurry. + +"Sure I've been asleep, Peter." + +"Yes, you have," replied I, "and I thank Heaven that you have, for no +one could stand such fatigue as you have, much longer; and if you fall +ill, what would become of me?" This was touching him on the right point. + +"Well, Peter, since there's no harm come of it, there's no harm done. +I've had sleep enough for the next week, that's certain." + +We returned to the wood; the snow had disappeared, and the rain ceased; +the sun shone out from between the clouds, and we felt warm. + +"Don't pass so near that way," said O'Brien, "we shall see the poor +creatures, now that the snow is gone. Peter, we must shift our quarters +to-night, for I have been to every cabaret in the village, and I cannot +go there any more without suspicion, although I am a gendarme." + +We remained there till the evening, and then set off, still returning +towards Givet. About an hour before daylight we arrived at a copse of +trees, close to the road-side, and surrounded by a ditch, not above a +quarter of a mile from a village. "It appears to me," said O'Brien, +"that this will do: I will now put you there, and then go boldly to the +village and see what I can get, for here we must stay at least a week." + +We walked to the copse, and the ditch being rather too wide for me to +leap, O'Brien laid the four stilts together so as to form a bridge, over +which I contrived to walk. Tossing to me all the bundles, and desiring +me to leave the stilts as a bridge for him on his return, he set off to +the village with his musket on his shoulder. He was away two hours, when +he returned with a large supply of provisions, the best we had ever had. +French saucissons, seasoned with garlic, which I thought delightful; +four bottles of brandy, besides his flask; a piece of hung beef and six +loaves of bread, besides half a baked goose and part of a large pie. + +"There," said he, "we have enough for a good week; and look here, Peter, +this is better than all." And he showed me two large horse-rugs. + +"Excellent," replied I; "now we shall be comfortable." + +"I paid honestly for all but these rugs," observed O'Brien; "but I was +afraid to buy them, so I stole them. However, we'll leave them here for +those they belong to--it's only borrowing, after all." + +We now prepared a very comfortable shelter with branches, which we wove +together, and laying the leaves in the sun to dry, soon obtained a soft +bed to put one horse-rug on, while we covered ourselves up with the +other. Our bridge of stilts we had removed, so that we felt ourselves +quite secure from surprise. That evening we did nothing but carouse--the +goose, the pie, the saucissons as big as my arm, were alternately +attacked, and we went to the ditch to drink water, and then ate again. +This was quite happiness to what we had suffered, especially with the +prospect of a good bed. At dark, to bed we went, and slept soundly; I +never felt more refreshed during our wanderings. At daylight O'Brien got +up. + +"Now, Peter, a little practice before breakfast." + +"What practice do you mean?" + +"Mean! why on the stilts. I expect in a week that you'll be able to +dance a gavotte at least; for mind me, Peter, you travel out of France +upon these stilts, depend upon it." + +O'Brien then took the stilts belonging to the man, giving, me those of +the woman. We strapped them to our thighs, and by fixing our backs to a +tree, contrived to get upright upon them; but, at the first attempt to +walk, O'Brien fell to the right, and I fell to the left. O'Brien fell +against a tree, but I fell on my nose, and made it bleed very much; +however, we laughed and got up again, and although we had several falls, +at last we made a better hand of them. We then had some difficulty in +getting down again, but we found out how, by again resorting to a tree. +After breakfast we strapped them on again, and practised, and so we +continued to do for the whole day, when we again attacked our +provisions, and fell asleep under our horse-rug. This continued for five +days, by which time, being constantly on the stilts, we became very +expert; and although I could not dance a gavotte--for I did not know +what that was--I could hop about with them with the greatest ease. + +"One day's more practice," said O'Brien, "for our provisions will last +one day more, and then we start; but this time we must rehearse in +costume." + +O'Brien then dressed me in the poor girl's clothes, and himself in the +man's; they fitted very well, and the last day we practised as man and +woman. + +"Peter, you make a very pretty girl," said O'Brien. "Now, don't you +allow the men to take liberties." + +"Never fear," replied I. "But, O'Brien, as these petticoats are not very +warm, I mean to cut off my trowsers up to my knees, and wear them +underneath." + +"That's all right," said O'Brien, "for you may have a tumble, and then +they may find out that you're not a lady." + +The next morning we made use of our stilts to cross the ditch, and +carrying them in our hands we boldly set off on the high road to +Malines. We met several people, gens-d'armes and others, but with the +exception of some remarks upon my good looks, we passed unnoticed. +Towards the evening we arrived at the village where we had slept in the +outhouse, and as soon as we entered it we put on our stilts, and +commenced a march. When the crowd had gathered we held out our caps, and +receiving nine or ten sous, we entered a cabaret. Many questions were +asked us, as to where we came from, and O'Brien answered, telling lies +innumerable. I played the modest girl, and O'Brien, who stated I was his +sister, appeared very careful and jealous of any attention. We slept +well, and the next morning continued our route to Malines. We very often +put on our stilts for practice on the road, which detained us very much, +and it was not until the eighth day, without any variety or any +interruption, that we arrived at Malines. As we entered the barriers we +put on our stilts, and marched boldly on. The guard at the gate stopped +us, not from suspicion, but to amuse themselves, and I was forced to +submit to several kisses from their garlic lips, before we were allowed +to enter the town. We again mounted on our stilts, for the guard had +forced us to dismount, or they could not have kissed me, every now and +then imitating a dance, until we arrived at the _Grande Place_, where we +stopped opposite the hotel, and commenced a sort of waltz which we had +practised. The people in the hotel looked out of the window to see our +exhibition, and when we had finished I went up to the windows with +O'Brien's cap to collect money. What was my surprise to perceive Colonel +O'Brien looking full in my face, and staring very hard at me;--what was +my greater astonishment at seeing Celeste, who immediately recognised +me, and ran back to the sofa in the room, putting her hands up to her +eyes, and crying out "_C'est lui, c'est lui_!" Fortunately O'Brien was +close to me, or I should have fallen, but he supported me. "Peter, ask +the crowd for money, or you are lost." I did so, and collecting some +pence, then asked him what I should do. "Go back to the window--you can +then judge of what will happen." I returned to the window; Colonel +O'Brien had disappeared, but Celeste was there, as if waiting for me. I +held out the cap to her, and she thrust her hand into it. The cap sank +with the weight. I took out a purse, which I kept closed in my hand, and +put it into my bosom. Celeste then retired from the window, and when she +had gone to the back of the room kissed her hand to me, and went out at +the door. I remained stupefied for a moment, but O'Brien roused me, and +we quitted the _Grande Place_, taking up our quarters at a little +cabaret. On examining the purse, I found fifty Napoleons in it: these +must have been, obtained from her father. I cried over them with +delight. O'Brien was also much affected at the kindness of the colonel. +"He's a real O'Brien, every inch of him," said he: "even this cursed +country can't spoil the breed." + +At the cabaret where we stopped, we were informed, that the officer who +was at the hotel had been appointed to the command of the strong fort of +Bergen-op-Zoom, and was proceeding thither. + +"We must not chance to meet him again, if possible," said O'Brien; "it +would be treading too close upon the heels of his duty. Neither will it +do to appear on stilts among the dikes; so, Peter, we'll just jump on +clear of this town and then we'll trust to our wits." + +We walked out of the town early in the morning, after O'Brien had made +purchases of some of the clothes usually worn by the peasantry. When +within a few miles of St Nicholas, we threw away our stilts and the +clothes which we had on, and dressed ourselves in those O'Brien had +purchased. O'Brien had not forgotten to provide us with two large +brown-coloured blankets, which we strapped on to our shoulders, as the +soldiers do their coats. + +"But what are we to pass for now, O'Brien?" + +"Peter, I will settle that point before night. My wits are working, but +I like to trust to chance for a stray idea or so; we must walk fast, or +we shall be smothered with the snow." + +It was bitter cold weather, and the snow had fallen heavily during the +whole day; but although nearly dusk, there was a bright moon ready for +us. We walked very fast, and soon observed persons ahead of us. "Let us +overtake them, we may obtain some information." As we came up with them, +one of them (they were both lads of seventeen to eighteen) said to +O'Brien, "I thought we were the last, but I was mistaken. How far is it +now to St Nicholas?" + +"How should I know?" replied O'Brien, "I am a stranger in these parts as +well as yourself." + +"From what part of France do you come?" demanded the other, his teeth +chattering with the cold, for he was badly clothed, and with little +defence from the inclement weather. + +"From Montpelier," replied O'Brien. + +"And I from Toulouse. A sad change, comrade, from olives and vines to +such a climate as this. Curse the conscription: I intended to have +taken a little wife next year." + +O'Brien gave me a push, as if to say, "Here's something that will do," +and then continued,-- + +"And curse the conscription I say too, for I had just married, and now +my wife is left to be annoyed by the attention of the _fermier général_. +But it can't be helped. _C'est pour la France et pour la gloire_." + +"We shall be too late to get a billet," replied the other, "and not a +sou have I in my pocket. I doubt if I get up with the main body till +they are at Flushing. By our route, they are at Axel to-day." + +"If we arrive at St Nicholas, we shall do well," replied O'Brien; "but I +have a little money left, and I'll not see a comrade want a supper or a +bed who is going to serve his country. You can repay me when we meet at +Flushing." + +"That I will with thanks," replied the Frenchman; "and so will Jacques +here, if you will trust him." + +"With pleasure," replied O'Brien, who then entered into a long +conversation, by which he drew out from the Frenchmen that a party of +conscripts had been ordered to Flushing, and that they had dropped +behind the main body. O'Brien passed himself off as a conscript +belonging to the party, and me as his brother, who had resolved to join +the army as a drummer, rather than part with him. In about an hour we +arrived at St Nicholas, and after some difficulty obtained entrance into +a cabaret. "_Vive la France_!" said O'Brien, going up to the fire, and +throwing the snow off his hat. In a short time we were seated to a good +supper and very tolerable wine, the hostess sitting down by us, and +listening to the true narratives of the real conscripts, and the false +one of O'Brien. After supper the conscript who first addressed us pulled +out his printed paper, with the route laid down, and observed that we +were two days behind the others. O'Brien read it over, and laid it on +the table, at the same time calling for more wine, having already pushed +it round very freely. We did not drink much ourselves, but plied them +hard, and at last the conscript commenced the whole history of his +intended marriage and his disappointment, tearing his hair, and crying +now and then. "Never mind," interrupted O'Brien, every two or three +minutes, "_buvons un autre coup pour la gloire_!" and thus he continued +to make them both drink until they reeled away to bed, forgetting their +printed paper, which O'Brien had some time before slipped away from the +table. We also retired to our room, when O'Brien observed to me. "Peter, +this description is as much like me as I am to Old Nick; but that's of +no consequence, as nobody goes willingly as a conscript, and therefore +they will never have a doubt but that it is all right. We must be off +early to-morrow, while these good people are in bed, and steal a long +march upon them. I consider that we are now safe as far as Flushing." + + + + +Chapter XXIV + +What occurred at Flushing, and what occurred when we got out of +Flushing. + + +An hour before daybreak we started; the snow was thick on the ground, +but the sky was clear, and without any difficulty or interruption we +passed through the towns of Axel and Halst, arrived at Terneuse on the +fourth day, and went over to Flushing in company with about a dozen more +stragglers from the main body. As we landed, the guard asked us whether +we were conscripts. O'Brien replied that he was, and held out his paper. +They took his name, or rather that of the person it belonged to, down in +a book, and told him that he must apply to the _état major_ before +three o'clock. We passed on delighted with our success, and then O'Brien +pulled out the letter which had been given to him by the woman of the +cabaret, who had offered to assist me to escape, when O'Brien passed off +as a gendarme, and reading the address, demanded his way to the street. +We soon found out the house, and entered. + +"Conscripts!" said the woman of the house, looking at O'Brien; "I am +billeted full already. It must be a mistake. Where is your order?" + +"Read," said O'Brien, handing her the letter. + +She read the letter, and putting it into her neckerchief, desired him to +follow her. O'Brien beckoned me to come, and we went into a small room. +"What can I do for you?" said the woman; "I will do all in my power: +but, alas! you will march from here in two or three days." + +"Never mind," replied O'Brien, "we will talk the matter over by-and-by, +but at present only oblige us by letting us remain in this little room; +we do not wish to be seen." + +"_Comment done_!--you a conscript, and not wish to be seen! Are you, +then, intending to desert?" + +"Answer me one question; you have read that letter, do you intend to act +up to its purport, as your sister requests?" + +"As I hope for mercy I will, if I suffer everything. She is a dear +sister, and would not write so earnestly if she had not strong reason. +My house and everything you command are yours--can I say more?" + +"But," continued O'Brien, "suppose I did intend to desert, would you +then assist me?" + +"At my peril," replied the woman: "have you not assisted my family when +in difficulty?" + +"Well, then, I will not at present detain you from your business; I have +heard you called several times. Let us have dinner when convenient, and +we will remain here." + +"If I have any knowledge of phiz--_what d'ye call it_," observed +O'Brien, after she left us, "there is honesty in that woman, and I must +trust her, but not yet; we must wait till the conscripts have gone." I +agreed with O'Brien, and we remained talking until an hour afterwards, +when the woman brought us our dinner. + +"What is your name?" inquired O'Brien. + +"Louise Eustache; you might have read it on the letter." + +"Are you married?" + +"Oh yes, these six years. My husband is seldom at home; he is a Flushing +pilot. A hard life, harder even than that of a soldier. Who is this +lad?" + +"He is my brother, who, if I go as a soldier, intends to volunteer as a +drummer." + +"_Pauvre enfant! c'est dommage_." + +The cabaret was full of conscripts and other people, so that the hostess +had enough to do. At night, we were shown by her into a small bed-room, +adjoining the room we occupied. "You are quite alone here; the +conscripts are to muster to-morrow, I find, in the _Place d'Armes_, at +two o'clock; do you intend to go?" + +"No," replied O'Brien: "they will think that I am behind. It is of no +consequence." + +"Well," replied the woman, "do as you please, you may trust me: but I am +so busy, without any one to assist me, that until they leave the town, I +can hardly find time to speak to you." + +"That will be soon enough, my good hostess," replied O'Brien: "_au +revoir_." + +The next evening, the woman came in, in some alarm, stating that a +conscript had arrived whose name had been given in before, and that the +person who had given it in, had not mustered at the place. That the +conscript had declared, that his pass had been stolen from him by a +person with whom he had stopped at St Nicholas, and that there were +orders for a strict search to be made through the town, as it was known +that some English officers had escaped, and it was supposed that one of +them had obtained the pass. "Surely you're not English?" inquired the +woman, looking earnestly at O'Brien. + +"Indeed, but I am, my dear," replied O'Brien: "and so is this lad with +me: and the favour which your sister requires is, that you help us over +the water, for which service there are one hundred louis ready to be +paid upon delivery of us." + +"_Oh, mon Dieu! mais c'est impossible_." + +"Impossible!" replied O'Brien; "was that the answer I gave your sister +in her trouble?" + +"_Au moins c'est fort difficile_." + +"That's quite another concern; but with your husband a pilot, I should +think a great part of the difficulty removed." + +"My husband! I've no power over him," replied the woman, putting the +apron up to her eyes. + +"But one hundred louis may have," replied O'Brien. + +"There is truth in that," observed the woman, after a pause, "but what +am I to do, if they come to search the house?" + +"Send us out of it, until you can find an opportunity to send us to +England. I leave it all to you--your sister expects it from you." + +"And she shall not be disappointed, if God helps us," replied the woman, +after a short pause: "but I fear you must leave this house and the town +also to-night." + +"How are we to leave the town?" + +"I will arrange that; be ready at four o'clock, for the gates are shut +at dusk. I must go now, for there is no time to be lost." + +"We are in a nice mess now, O'Brien," observed I, after the woman had +quitted the room. + +"Devil a bit, Peter; I feel no anxiety whatever, except at leaving such +good quarters." + +We packed up all our effects, not forgetting our two blankets, and +waited the return of the hostess. In about an hour she entered the room. +"I have spoken to my husband's sister, who lives about two miles on the +road to Middelburg. She is in town now, for it is market-day, and you +will be safe where she hides you. I told her, it was by my husband's +request, or she would not have consented. Here, boy, put on these +clothes; I will assist you." Once more I was dressed as a girl, and when +my clothes were on, O'Brien burst out into laughter at my blue stockings +and short petticoats. "_Il n'est pas mal_," observed the hostess, as she +fixed a small cap on my head, and then tied a kerchief under my chin, +which partly hid my face. O'Brien put on a greatcoat, which the woman +handed to him, with a wide-brimmed hat. "Now follow me!" She led us into +the street, which was thronged, till we arrived at the market-place, +when she met another woman, who joined her. At the end of the +market-place stood a small horse and cart, into which the strange woman +and I mounted, while O'Brien, by the directions of the landlady, led the +horse through the crowd until we arrived at the barriers, when she +wished us good day in a loud voice before the guard. The guard took no +notice of us, and we passed safely through, and found ourselves upon a +neatly-paved road, as straight as an arrow, and lined on each side with +high trees and a ditch. In about an hour, we stopped near to the +farmhouse of the woman who was in charge of us. "Do you observe that +wood?" said she to O'Brien, pointing to one about half a mile from the +road. "I dare not take you into the house, my husband is so violent +against the English, who captured his schuyt, and made him a poor man, +that he would inform against you immediately; but go you there, make +yourselves as comfortable as you can to-night, and to-morrow I will send +you what you want. _Adieu! Je vous plains, pauvre enfant_." said she, +looking at me, as she drove off in the cart towards her own house. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "I think that her kicking us out of her house is +a proof of her sincerity, and therefore I say no more about it; we have +the brandy-flask to keep up our spirits. Now then for the wood, though, +by the powers, I shall have no relish for any of your pic-nic parties, +as they call them, for the next twelve years." + +"But, O'Brien, how can I get over this ditch in petticoats? I could +hardly leap it in my own clothes." + +"You must tie your petticoats round your waist and make a good run; get +over as far as you can, and I will drag you through the rest." + +"But you forget that we are to sleep in the wood, and that it's no +laughing matter to get wet through, freezing so hard as it does now." + +"Very true, Peter; but as the snow lies so deep upon the ditch, perhaps +the ice may bear. I'll try; if it bears me, it will not condescend to +bend at your shrimp of a carcass." + +O'Brien tried the ice, which was firm, and we both walked over, and +making all the haste we could, arrived at the wood, as the woman called +it, but which was not more than a clump of trees of about half an acre. +We cleared away the snow for about six feet round a very hollow part, +and then O'Brien cut stakes and fixed them in the earth, to which we +stretched one blanket. The snow being about two feet deep, there was +plenty of room to creep underneath the blanket. We then collected all +the leaves we could, beating the snow off them, and laid them at the +bottom of the hole; over the leaves we spread the other blanket, and +taking our bundles in, we then stopped up with snow every side of the +upper blanket, except the hole to creep in at. It was quite astonishing +what a warm place this became in a short time after we had remained in +it. It was almost too warm, although the weather outside was piercingly +cold. After a good meal and a dose of brandy, we both fell fast asleep, +but not until I had taken off my woman's attire and resumed my own +clothes. We never slept better or more warmly than we did in this hole +which we had made on the ground, covered with ice and snow. + + + + +Chapter XXV + +O'Brien parts company to hunt for provisions, and I have other company +in consequence of another hunt--O'Brien pathetically mourns my death and +finds me alive--We escape. + + +The ensuing morning we looked out anxiously for the promised assistance, +for we were not very rich in provisions, although what we had were of a +very good quality. It was not until three o'clock in the afternoon that +we perceived a little girl coming towards us, escorted by a large +mastiff. When she arrived at the copse of trees where we lay concealed, +she cried out to the dog in Dutch, who immediately scoured the wood +until he came to our hiding-place, when he crouched down at the +entrance, barking furiously, and putting us in no small dread, lest he +should attack us; but the little girl spoke to him again, and he +remained in the same position, looking at us, wagging his tail, with his +under jaw lying on the snow. She soon came up, and looking underneath, +put a basket in, and nodded her head. We emptied the basket. O'Brien +took out a napoleon and offered it to her; she refused it, but O'Brien +forced it into her hand, upon which she again spoke to the dog, who +commenced barking so furiously at us, that we expected every moment he +would fly upon us. The girl at the same time presented the napoleon, and +pointing to the dog, I went forward and took the napoleon from her, at +which she immediately silenced the enormous brute, and laughing at us, +hastened away. + +"By the powers, that's a fine little girl!" said O'Brien; "I'll back her +and her dog against any man. Well, I never had a dog set at me for +giving money before, but we live and learn, Peter; now let's see what +she brought in the basket." We found hard-boiled eggs, bread, and a +smoked mutton ham, with a large bottle of gin. "What a nice little girl! +I hope she will often favour us with her company. I've been thinking, +Peter, that we're quite as well off here, as in a midshipman's berth." + +"You forget you are a lieutenant." + +"Well, so I did, Peter, and that's the truth, but it's the force of +habit. Now let's make our dinner. It's a new-fashioned way though, of +making a meal, lying down; but however, it's economical, for it must +take longer to swallow the victuals." + +"The Romans used to eat their meals lying down, so I have read, +O'Brien." + +"I can't say that I ever heard it mentioned in Ireland, but that don't +prove that it was not the case; so, Peter, I'll take your word for it. +Murder! how fast it snows again! I wonder what my father's thinking on +just at this moment." + +This observation of O'Brien induced us to talk about our friends and +relations in England, and after much conversation we fell fast asleep. +The next morning we found the snow had fallen about eight inches, and +weighed down our upper blanket so much, that we were obliged to go out +and cut stakes to support it up from the inside. While we were thus +employed, we heard a loud noise and shouting, and perceived several men, +apparently armed and accompanied with dogs, running straight in the +direction of the wood where we were encamped. We were much alarmed, +thinking that they were in search of us, but on a sudden they turned off +in another direction, continuing with the same speed as before. "What +could it be?" said I, to O'Brien. "I can't exactly say, Peter; but I +should think that they were hunting something, and the only game that I +think likely to be in such a place as this are otters." I was of the +same opinion. We expected the little girl, but she did not come, and +after looking out for her till dark, we crawled into our hole and supped +upon the remainder of our provisions. + +The next day, as may be supposed, we were very anxious for her arrival, +but she did not appear at the time expected. Night again came on, and we +went to bed without having any sustenance, except a small piece of bread +that was left, and some gin which was remaining in the flask. "Peter," +said O'Brien, "if she don't come again to-morrow, I'll try what I can +do; for I've no idea of our dying of hunger here, like the two babes in +the wood, and being found covered up with dead leaves. If she does not +appear at three o'clock, I'm off for provisions, and I don't see much +danger, for in this dress I look as much of a boor as any man in +Holland." + +We passed an uneasy night, as we felt convinced, either that the danger +was so great that they dared not venture to assist us, or, that being +over-ruled, they had betrayed us, and left us to manage how we could. +The next morning I climbed up the only large tree in the copse and +looked round, especially in the direction of the farm-house belonging to +the woman who had pointed out to us our place of concealment; but +nothing was to be seen but one vast tract of flat country covered with +snow, and now and then a vehicle passing at a distance on the Middelburg +road. I descended, and found O'Brien preparing for a start. He was very +melancholy, and said to me, "Peter, if I am taken, you must, at all +risks, put on your girl's clothes and go to Flushing to the cabaret. The +women there, I am sure, will protect you, and send you back to England. +I only want two napoleons; take all the rest, you will require them. If +I am not back by to-night, set off for Flushing to-morrow morning." +O'Brien waited some time longer, talking with me, and it then being past +four o'clock, he shook me by the hand, and, without speaking, left the +wood. I never felt more miserable during the whole time since we were +first put into prison at Toulon, till that moment, and, when he was a +hundred yards off, I knelt down and prayed. He had been absent two +hours, and it was quite dusk, when I heard a noise at a distance: it +advanced every moment nearer and nearer. On a sudden, I heard a rustling +of the bushes, and hastened under the blanket, which was covered with +snow, in hopes that they might not perceive the entrance; but I was +hardly there before in dashed after me an enormous wolf. I cried out, +expecting to be torn to pieces every moment, but the creature lay on his +belly, his mouth wide open, his eyes glaring, and his long tongue +hanging out of his mouth, and although he touched me, he was so +exhausted that he did not attack me. The noise increased, and I +immediately perceived that it was the hunters in pursuit of him. I had +crawled in feet first, the wolf ran in head foremost, so that we lay +head and tail. I crept out as fast as I could, and perceived men and +dogs not two hundred yards off in full chase. I hastened to the large +tree, and had not ascended six feet when they came up; the dogs flew to +the hole, and in a very short time the wolf was killed. The hunters +being too busy to observe me, I had in the meantime climbed up the trunk +of the tree, and hidden myself as well as I could. Being not fifteen +yards from them, I heard their expressions of surprise as they lifted up +the blanket and dragged out the dead wolf, which they carried away with +them; their conversation being in Dutch, I could not understand it, but +I was certain that they made use of the word "_English_." The hunters +and dogs quitted the copse, and I was about to descend, when one of them +returned, and pulling up the blankets, rolled them together and walked +away with them. Fortunately he did not perceive our bundles by the +little light given by the moon. I waited a short time and then came +down. What to do I knew not. If I did not remain and O'Brien returned, +what would he think? If I did, I should be dead with cold before the +morning. I looked for our bundles, and found that in the conflict +between the dogs and the wolf, they had been buried among the leaves. I +recollected O'Brien's advice, and dressed myself in the girl's clothes, +but I could not make up my mind to go to Flushing. So I resolved to walk +towards the farmhouse, which, being close to the road, would give me a +chance of meeting with O'Brien. I soon arrived there and prowled round +it for some time, but the doors and windows were all fast, and I dared +not knock, after what the woman had said about her husband's inveteracy +to the English. At last, as I looked round and round, quite at a loss +what to do, I thought I saw a figure at a distance proceeding in the +direction of the copse. I hastened after it and saw it enter. I then +advanced very cautiously, for although I thought it might be O'Brien, +yet it was possible that it was one of the men who chased the wolf in +search of more plunder. But I soon heard O'Brien's voice, and I hastened +towards him. I was close to him without his perceiving me, and found him +sitting down with his face covered up in his two hands. At last he +cried, "O Pater! my poor Pater! are you taken at last? Could I not leave +you for one hour in safety? Ochone! why did I leave you? My poor, poor +Pater! simple you were, sure enough, and that's why I loved you; but, +Pater, I would have made a man of you, for you'd all the materials, +that's the truth--and a fine man, too. Where am I to look for you, +Pater? Where am I to find you, Pater? You're fast locked up by this +time, and all my trouble's gone for nothing. But I'll be locked up too, +Pater. Where you are, will I be; and if we can't go to England together, +why then we'll go back to that blackguard hole at Givet together. +Ochone! Ochone!" O'Brien spoke no more, but burst into tears. I was much +affected with this proof of O'Brien's sincere regard, and I came to his +side and clasped him in my arms. O'Brien stared at me, "Who are you, you +ugly Dutch frow?" (for he had quite forgotten the woman's dress at the +moment), but recollecting himself, he hugged me in his arms. "Pater, you +come as near to an angel's shape as you can, for you come in that of a +woman, to comfort me; for, to tell the truth, I was very much distressed +at not finding you here; and all the blankets gone to boot. What has +been the matter?" I explained in as few words as I could. + +"Well, Peter, I'm happy to find you all safe, and much happier to find +that you can be trusted when I leave you, for you could not have behaved +more prudently; now I'll tell you what I did, which was not much, as it +happened. I knew that there was no cabaret between us and Flushing, for +I took particular notice as I came along; so I took the road to +Middelburg, and found but one, which was full of soldiers. I passed it, +and found no other. As I came back past the same cabaret, one of the +soldiers came out to me, but I walked along the road. He quickened his +pace, and so did I mine, for I expected mischief. At last he came up to +me, and spoke to me in Dutch, to which I gave him no answer. He collared +me, and then I thought it convenient to pretend that I was deaf and +dumb. I pointed to my mouth with an Au--au--and then to my ears, and +shook my head; but he would not be convinced, and I heard him say +something about English. I then knew that there was no time to be lost, +so I first burst out into a loud laugh and stopped; and on his +attempting to force me, I kicked up his heels, and he fell on the ice +with such a rap on the pate, that I doubt if he has recovered it by this +time. There I left him, and have run back as hard as I could, without +anything for Peter to fill his little hungry inside with. Now, Peter, +what's your opinion? for they say that out of the mouth of babes there +is wisdom; and although I never saw anything come out of their mouths +but sour milk, yet perhaps I may be more fortunate this time, for, +Peter, you're but a baby." + +"Not a small one, O'Brien, although not quite so large as Fingal's +_babby_ that you told me the story of. My idea is this.--Let us, at all +hazards, go to the farmhouse. They have assisted us, and may be inclined +to do so again; if they refuse, we must push on to Flushing and take our +chance." + +"Well," observed O'Brien, after a pause, "I think we can do no better, +so let's be off." We went to the farmhouse, and, as we approached the +door, were met by the great mastiff. I started back, O'Brien boldly +advanced. "He's a clever dog, and may know us again. I'll go up," said +O'Brien, not stopping while he spoke, "and pat his head: if he flies at +me, I shall be no worse than I was before, for depend upon it he will +not allow us to go back again." O'Brien by this time had advanced to the +dog, who looked earnestly and angrily at him. He patted his head, the +dog growled, but O'Brien put his arm round his neck, and patting him +again, whistled to him, and went to the door of the farmhouse. The dog +followed him silently but closely. O'Brien knocked, and the door was +opened by the little girl: the mastiff advanced to the girl, and then +turned round, facing O'Brien, as much as to say, "Is he to come in?" The +girl spoke to the dog, and went indoors. During her absence the mastiff +lay down at the threshold. In a few seconds the woman who had brought us +from Flushing, came out, and desired us to enter. She spoke very good +French, and told us that fortunately her husband was absent; that the +reason why we had not been supplied was, that a wolf had met her little +girl returning the other day, but had been beaten off by the mastiff, +and that she was afraid to allow her to go again; that she heard the +wolf had been killed this evening, and had intended her girl to have +gone to us early to-morrow morning; that wolves were hardly known in +that country, but that the severe winter had brought them down to the +lowlands, a very rare circumstance, occurring perhaps not once in twenty +years. "But how did you pass the mastiff?" said she; "that has surprised +my daughter and me." O'Brien told her, upon which she said "that the +English were really '_des braves_.' No other man had ever done the +same." So I thought, for nothing would have induced me to do it. O'Brien +then told the history of the death of the wolf, with all particulars, +and our intention, if we could not do better, of returning to Flushing. + +"I heard that Pierre Eustache came home yesterday," replied the woman; +"and I do think that you will be safer there than here, for they will +never think of looking for you among the _casernes_, which join their +cabaret." + +"Will you lend us your assistance to get in?" + +"I will see what I can do. But are you not hungry?" + +"About as hungry as men who have eaten nothing for two days." + +"_Mon Dieu! c'est vrai._ I never thought it was so long, but those whose +stomachs are filled forget those who are empty. God make us better and +more charitable!" + +She spoke to the little girl in Dutch, who hastened to load the table, +which we hastened to empty. The little girl stared at our voracity; but +at last she laughed out, and clapped her hands at every fresh mouthful +which we took, and pressed us to eat more. She allowed me to kiss her, +until her mother told her that I was not a woman, when she pouted at me, +and beat me off. Before midnight we were fast asleep upon the benches +before the kitchen fire, and at daybreak were roused up by the woman, +who offered us some bread and spirits, and then we went out to the door, +where we found the horse and cart all ready, and loaded with vegetables +for the market. The woman, the little girl, and myself got in, O'Brien +leading as before, and the mastiff following. We had learnt the dog's +name, which was "_Achille_," and he seemed to be quite fond of us. We +passed the dreaded barriers without interruption, and in ten minutes +entered the cabaret of Eustache; and immediately walked into the little +room through a crowd of soldiers, two of whom chucked me under the chin. +Whom should we find there but Eustache, the pilot himself, in +conversation with his wife, and it appeared that they were talking about +us, she insisting, and he unwilling to have any hand in the business. +"Well, here they are themselves, Eustache; the soldiers who have seen +them come in will never believe that this is their first entry if you +give them up. I leave them to make their own bargain; but mark me, +Eustache, I have slaved night and day in this cabaret for your profit; +if you do not oblige me and my family, I no longer keep a cabaret for +you." + +Madame Eustache then quitted the room with her husband's sister and +little girl, and O'Brien immediately accosted him. "I promise you," said +he to Eustache, "one hundred louis if you put us on shore at any part of +England, or on board of any English man-of-war; and if you do it within +a week, I will make it twenty louis more." O'Brien then pulled out the +fifty napoleons given us by Celeste, for our own were not yet expended, +and laid them on the table. "Here is this in advance, to prove my +sincerity. Say, is it a bargain or not?" + +"I never yet heard of a poor man who could withstand his wife's +arguments, backed with one hundred and twenty louis," said Eustache +smiling, and sweeping the money off the table. + +"I presume you have no objection to start to-night? That will be ten +louis more in your favour," replied O'Brien. + +"I shall earn them," replied Eustache. "The sooner I am off the better, +for I could not long conceal you here. The young frow with you is, I +suppose, your companion that my wife mentioned. He has begun to suffer +hardships early. Come, now, sit down and talk, for nothing can be done +till dark." + +O'Brien narrated the adventures attending our escape, at which Eustache +laughed heartily; the more so, at the mistake which his wife was under, +as to the obligations of the family. "If I did not feel inclined to +assist you before, I do now, just for the laugh I shall have at her when +I come back, and if she wants any more assistance for the sake of her +relations, I shall remind her of this anecdote; but she's a good woman +and a good wife to boot, only too fond of her sisters." At dusk he +equipped us both in sailor's jackets and trowsers, and desired us to +follow him boldly. He passed the guard, who knew him well. "What, to sea +already?" said one. "You have quarrelled with your wife." At which they +all laughed, and we joined. We gained the beach, jumped into his little +boat, pulled off to his vessel, and, in a few minutes, were under weigh. +With a strong tide and a fair wind we were soon clear of the Scheldt, +and the next morning a cutter hove in sight. We steered for her, ran +under her lee, O'Brien hailed for a boat, and Eustache, receiving my +bill for the remainder of his money, wished us success; we shook hands, +and in a few minutes found ourselves once more under the British +pennant. + + + + +Chapter XXVI + +Adventures at home--I am introduced to my grandfather--He obtains +employment for O'Brien and myself, and we join a frigate. + + +As soon as we were on the deck of the cutter, the lieutenant commanding +her inquired of us, in a consequential manner, who we were. O'Brien +replied that we were English prisoners who had escaped. "Oh, midshipmen, +I presume," replied the lieutenant; "I heard that some had contrived to +get away." + +"My name, sir," said O'Brien, "is Lieutenant O'Brien; and if you'll send +for a 'Steel's List,' I will have the honour of pointing it out to you. +This young gentleman is Mr Peter Simple, midshipman, and grandson to the +Right Honourable Lord Viscount Privilege." + +The lieutenant, who was a little snub-nosed man, with a pimply face, +then altered his manner towards us, and begged we would step down into +the cabin, where he offered, what perhaps was the greatest of all +luxuries to us, some English cheese and bottled porter. "Pray," said he, +"did you see anything of one of my officers, who was taken prisoner when +I was sent with despatches to the Mediterranean fleet?" + +"May I first ask the name of your lively little craft?" said O'Brien. + +"'The Snapper,'" replied the lieutenant. + +"Och, murder; sure enough we met him. He was sent to Verdun, but we had +the pleasure of his company _en route_ as far as Montpelier. A +remarkably genteel, well-dressed young man, was he not?" + +"Why, I can't say much about his gentility; indeed, I am not much of a +judge. As for his dress, he ought to have dressed well, but he never did +when on board of me. His father is my tailor, and I took him as +midshipman, just to square an account between us." + +"That's exactly what I thought," replied O'Brien. + +He did not say any more, which I was glad of, as the lieutenant might +not have been pleased at what had occurred. + +"When do you expect to run into port?" demanded O'Brien; for we were +rather anxious to put our feet ashore again in old England. The +lieutenant replied that his cruise was nearly up; and he considered our +arrival quite sufficient reason for him to run in directly, and that he +intended to put his helm up after the people had had their dinner. We +were much delighted with this intelligence, and still more to see the +intention put into execution half an hour afterwards. + +In three days we anchored at Spithead, and went on shore with the +lieutenant to report ourselves to the admiral. Oh! with what joy did I +first put my foot on the shingle beach at Sallyport, and then hasten to +the post-office to put in a long letter which I had written to my +mother. We did not go to the admiral's, but merely reported ourselves at +the admiral's office; for we had no clothes fit to appear in. But we +called at Meredith's the tailor, and he promised that, by the next +morning, we should be fitted complete. We then ordered new hats, and +everything we required, and went to the Fountain inn. O'Brien refused to +go to the Blue Posts, as being only a receptacle for midshipmen. By +eleven o'clock the next morning, we were fit to appear before the +admiral, who received us very kindly, and requested our company to +dinner. As I did not intend setting off for home until I had received an +answer from my mother, we, of course, accepted the invitation. + +There was a large party of naval officers and ladies, and O'Brien amused +them very much during dinner. When the ladies left the room, the +admiral's wife told me to come up with them; and when we arrived at the +drawing-room, the ladies all gathered round me, and I had to narrate the +whole of my adventures, which very much entertained and interested them. +The next morning I received a letter from my mother--such a kind one! +entreating me to come home as fast as I could, and bring my _preserver_ +O'Brien with me. I showed it to O'Brien, and asked him whether he would +accompany me. + +"Why, Peter, my boy, I have a little business of some importance to +transact; which is, to obtain my arrears of pay, and some prize-money +which I find due. When I have settled that point, I will go to town to +pay my respects to the First Lord of the Admiralty, and then I think I +will go and see your father and mother: for, until I know how matters +stand, and whether I shall be able to go with spare cash in my pocket, I +do not wish to see my own family; so write down your address here, and +you'll be sure I'll come, if it is only to square my accounts with you, +for I am not a little in your debt." + +I cashed a cheque sent by my father, and set off in the mail that night; +the next evening I arrived safe home. But I shall leave the reader to +imagine the scene: to my mother I was always dear, and circumstances had +rendered me of some importance to my father; for I was now an only son, +and his prospects were very different from what they were when I left +home. About a week afterwards, O'Brien joined us, having got through all +his business. His first act was to account with my father for his share +of the expenses; and he even insisted upon paying his half of the fifty +napoleons given me by Celeste, which had been remitted to a banker at +Paris before O'Brien's arrival, with a guarded letter of thanks from my +father to Colonel O'Brien, and another from me to dear little Celeste. +When O'Brien had remained with us about a week, he told me that he had +about one hundred and sixty pounds in his pocket, and that he intended +to go and see his friends, as he was sure that he would be welcome even +to Father M'Grath. "I mean to stay with them about a fortnight, and +shall then return and apply for employment. Now, Peter, will you like to +be again under my protection?" + +"O'Brien, I will never quit you or your ship, if I can help it." + +"Spoken like a sensible Peter. Well, then, I was promised immediate +employment, and I will let you know as soon as the promise is +performed." + +O'Brien took his leave of my family, who were already very partial to +him, and left that afternoon for Holyhead. My father no longer treated +me as a child; indeed, it would have been an injustice if he had. I do +not mean to say that I was a clever boy; but I had seen much of the +world in a short time, and could act and think for myself. He often +talked to me about his prospects, which were very different from what +they were when I left him. My two uncles, his elder brothers, had died, +the third was married and had two daughters. If he had no son, my father +would succeed to the title. The death of my elder brother Tom had +brought me next in succession. My grandfather, Lord Privilege, who had +taken no more notice of my father than occasionally sending him a basket +of game, had latterly often invited him to the house, and had even +requested, _some day or another_, to see his wife and family. He had +also made a handsome addition to my father's income, which the death of +my two uncles had enabled him to do. Against all this, my uncle's wife +was reported to be again in the family way. I cannot say that I was +pleased when my father used to speculate upon these chances so often as +he did. I thought, not only as a man, but more particularly as a +clergyman, he was much to blame; but I did not know then so much of the +world. We had not heard from O'Brien for two months, when a letter +arrived, stating that he had seen his family, and bought a few acres of +land, which had made them all quite happy, and had quitted with Father +M'Grath's double blessing, with unlimited absolution; that he had now +been a month in town trying for employment, but found that he could not +obtain it, although one promise was backed up by another. + +A few days after this, my father received a note from Lord Privilege, +requesting he would come and spend a few days with him, and bring his +son Peter who had escaped from the French prison. Of course this was an +invitation not to be neglected, and we accepted it forthwith. I must +say, I felt rather in awe of my grandfather; he had kept the family at +such a distance, that I had always heard his name mentioned more with +reverence than with any feeling of kindred, but I was a little wiser +now. We arrived at Eagle Park, a splendid estate, where he resided, and +were received by a dozen servants in and out of livery, and ushered into +his presence. He was in his library, a large room, surrounded with +handsome bookcases, sitting on an easy chair. A more venerable, placid +old gentleman I never beheld; his grey hairs hung down on each side of +his temples, and were collected in a small _queue_ behind. He rose and +bowed, as we were announced; to my father he held out _two_ fingers in +salutation, to me only _one_, but there was an elegance in the manner in +which it was done which was indescribable. He waved his hand to chairs, +placed by the _gentleman_ out of livery, and requested we would be +seated. I could not, at the time, help thinking of Mr Chucks, the +boatswain, and his remarks upon high breeding, which were so true: and I +laughed to myself when I recollected that Mr Chucks had once dined with +him. As soon as the servants had quitted the room, the distance on the +part of my grandfather appeared to wear off. He interrogated me on +several points, and seemed pleased with my replies; but he always called +me "child." After a conversation of half an hour, my father rose, saying +that his lordship must be busy, and that we would go over the grounds +till dinner-time. My grandfather rose, and we took a sort of formal +leave; but it was not a formal leave, after all, it was high breeding, +respecting yourself and respecting others. For my part, I was pleased +with the first interview, and so I told my father after we had left the +room. "My dear Peter," replied he, "your grandfather has one idea which +absorbs most others--the peerage, the estate, and the descent of it in +the right line. As long as your uncles were alive, we were not thought +of, as not being in the line of descent; nor should we now, but that +your uncle William has only daughters. Still we are not looked upon as +actual, but only contingent, inheritors of the title. Were your uncle to +die to-morrow, the difference in his behaviour would be manifested +immediately." + +"That is to say, instead of _two fingers_ you would receive the _whole_ +hand, and instead of _one_ finger, I should obtain promotion to _two_." + +At this my father laughed heartily, saying, "Peter, you have exactly hit +the mark. I cannot imagine how we ever could have been so blind as to +call you the fool of the family." + +To this I made no reply, for it was difficult so to do without +depreciating others or depreciating myself; but I changed the subject by +commenting on the beauties of the park, and the splendid timber with +which it was adorned. "Yes, Peter," replied my father, with a sigh, +"thirty-five thousand a year in land, money in the funds, and timber +worth at least forty thousand more, are not to be despised. But God +wills everything." After this remark, my father appeared to be in deep +thought, and I did not interrupt him. + +We stayed ten days with my grandfather, during which he would often +detain me for two hours after breakfast, listening to my adventures, and +I really believe was very partial to me. The day before I went away he +said, "Child, you are going to-morrow; now tell me what you would like, +as I wish to give you a token of regard. Don't be afraid; what shall it +be--a watch and seals, or--anything you most fancy?" + +"My lord," replied I, "if you wish to do me a favour, it is, that you +will apply to the First Lord of the Admiralty to appoint Lieutenant +O'Brien to a fine frigate, and, at the same time, ask for a vacancy as +midshipman for me." + +"O'Brien!" replied his lordship; "I recollect it was he who accompanied +you from France, and appears, by your account, to have been a true +friend. I am pleased with your request, my child, and it shall be +granted." + +His lordship then desired me to hand him the paper and ink-standish, +wrote by my directions, sealed the letter, and told me he would send me +the answer. The next day we quitted Eagle Park, his lordship wishing my +father good-bye with _two_ fingers, and to me extending _one_, as +before; but he said, "I am pleased with you, child; you may write +occasionally." + +When we were on our route home, my father observed that "I had made more +progress with my grandfather than he had known anyone to do, since he +could recollect. His saying that you might write to him is at least ten +thousand pounds to you in his will, for he never deceives any one, or +changes his mind." My reply was, that I should like to see the ten +thousand pounds, but that I was not so sanguine. + +A few days after our return home, I received a letter and enclosure from +Lord Privilege, the contents of which were as follow:-- + +"My dear Child,--I send you Lord----'s answer, which I trust will prove +satisfactory. My compliments to your family.--Yours, &c., PRIVILEGE." + +The inclosure was a handsome letter from the First Lord, stating that he +had appointed O'Brien to the _Sanglier_ frigate, and had ordered me to +be received on board as midshipman. I was delighted to forward this +letter to O'Brien's address, who, in a few days sent me an answer, +thanking me, and stating that he had received his 'appointment, and that +I need not join for a month, which was quite time enough, as the ship +was refitting; but, that if my family were tired of me, which was +sometimes the case in the best regulated families, why, then I should +learn something of my duty by coming to Portsmouth. He concluded by +sending his kind regards to all the family, and his _love_ to my +grandfather, which last I certainly did not forward in my letter of +thanks. About a month afterwards I received a letter from O'Brien, +stating that the ship was ready to go out of harbour, and would be +anchored off Spithead in a few days. + + + + +Chapter XXVII + +Captain and Mrs To--Pork--We go to Plymouth, and fall in with our old +Captain. + + +I immediately took leave of my family, and set off for Portsmouth, and +in two days arrived at the Fountain inn, where O'Brien was waiting to +receive me. "Peter, my boy, I feel so much obliged to you, that if your +uncle won't go out of the world by fair means, I'll pick a quarrel with +him, and shoot him, on purpose that you may be a lord, as I am +determined you shall be. Now come up into my room, where we'll be all +alone, and I'll tell you all about the ship and our new captain. In the +first place, we'll begin with the ship, as the most important personage +of the two: she's a beauty, I forget her name before she was taken, but +the French know how to build ships better than keep them. She's now +called the _Sanglier_, which means a wild pig, and, by the powers! a +_pig_ ship she is, as you will hear directly. The captain's name is a +very short one, and wouldn't please Mr Chucks, consisting only of two +letters, T and O, which makes To; his whole title is Captain John To. It +would almost appear as if somebody had broken off the better half of his +name, and only left him the commencement of it; but, however, it's a +handy name to sign when he pays off his ship. And now I'll tell you what +sort of a looking craft he is. He's built like a Dutch schuyt, great +breadth of beam, and very square tuck. He applied to have the quarter +galleries enlarged in the two last ships he commanded. He weighs about +eighteen stone, rather more than less. He is a good-natured sort of a +chap, amazingly ungenteel, not much of an officer, not much of a sailor, +but a devilish good hand at the trencher. But he's only part of the +concern; he has his wife on board, who is a red-herring sort of a lady, +and very troublesome to boot. What makes her still more annoying is, +that she has a _piano_ on board, very much out of _tune_, on which she +plays very much out of _time_. Holystoning is music compared with her +playing: even the captain's spaniel howls when she comes to the high +notes; but she affects the fine lady, and always treats the officers +with music when they dine in the cabin, which makes them very glad to +get out of it." + +"But, O'Brien, I thought wives were not permitted on board." + +"Very true, but there's the worst part in the man's character: he knows +that he is not allowed to take his wife to sea, and, in consequence, he +never says she _is_ his wife, or presents her on shore to anybody. If +any of the other captains ask how Mrs To is to-day? 'Why,' he replies, +'pretty well, I thank you;' but at the same time he gives a kind of +smirk, as if to say, 'She is not my wife;' and although everybody knows +that she is, yet he prefers that they should think otherwise, rather +than be at the expense of keeping her on shore; for you know, Peter, +that although there are regulations about wives, there are none with +regard to other women." + +"But does his wife know this?" inquired I. + +"I believe, from my heart, she is a party to the whole transaction, for +report says, that she would skin a flint if she could. She's always +trying for presents from the officers, and, in fact, she commands the +ship." + +"Really, O'Brien, this is not a very pleasant prospect." + +"Whist! wait a little; now I come to the wind-up. This Captain To is +very partial to pig's _mate_, and we have as many live pigs on board as +we have pigs of ballast. The first lieutenant is right mad about them. +At the same time he allows no pigs but his own on board, that there may +be no confusion. The manger is full of pigs; there are two cow-pens +between the main-deck guns, drawn from the dock-yard, and converted into +pig-pens. The two sheep-pens amidships are full of pigs, and the geese +and turkey-coops are divided off into apartments for four _sows_ in the +_family way_. Now, Peter, you see there's little or no expense in +keeping pigs on board of a large frigate, with so much _pay_-soup and +whole peas for them to eat, and this is the reason why he keeps them, +for the devil a bit of any other stock has he on board. I presume he +means to _milk_ one of the _old sows_ for breakfast when the ship sails. +The first thing that he does in the morning, is to go round to his pigs +with the butcher, feeling one, scratching the dirty ears of another, and +then he classes them--his _bacon_ pigs, his _porkers_, his _breeding_ +sows, and so on. The old boar is still at the stables of this inn, but I +hear he is to come on board with the sailing orders: but he is very +savage, and is therefore left on shore to the very last moment. Now +really, Peter, what with the squealing of the pigs and his wife's piano, +we are almost driven mad. I don't know which is the worse of the two; if +you go aft you hear the one, if you go forward you hear the other, by +way of variety, and that, they say, is charming. But, is it not shocking +that such a beautiful frigate should be turned into a pig-sty, and that +her main-deck should smell worse than a muckheap?" + +"But how does his wife like the idea of living only upon hog's flesh?" + +"She! Lord bless you, Peter! why, she looks as spare as a shark, and she +has just the appetite of one, for she'll _bolt_ a four-pound piece of +pork before it's well put on her plate." + +"Have you any more such pleasant intelligence to communicate, O'Brien?" + +"No, Peter; you have the worst of it. The lieutenants are good officers +and pleasant messmates: the doctor is a little queer, and the purser +thinks himself a wag; the master, an old north-countryman, who knows his +duty, and takes his glass of grog. The midshipmen are a very genteel set +of young men, and full of fun and frolic. I'll bet a wager there'll be a +bobbery in the pig-sty before long, for they are ripe for mischief. Now, +Peter, I hardly need say that my cabin and everything I have is at your +service; and I think if we could only have a devil of a gale of wind, or +a hard-fought action, to send the _pigs_ overboard and smash the +_piano_, we should do very well." + +The next day I went on board, and was shown down into the cabin, to +report my having joined. Mrs To, a tall thin woman, was at her piano; +she rose, and asked me several questions--who my friends were--how much +they allowed me a year, and many other questions, which I thought +impertinent: but a captain's wife is allowed to take liberties. She then +asked me if I was fond of music? That was a difficult question, as, if I +said that I was, I should in all probability be obliged to hear it: if I +said that I was not, I might have created a dislike in her. So I +replied, that I was very fond of music on shore, when it was not +interrupted by other noise. "Ah! then I perceive you are a real amateur, +Mr Simple," replied the lady. + +Captain To then came out of the after-cabin, half-dressed. "Well, +youngster, so you've joined us at last. Come and dine with us to-day? +and, as you go down to your berth, desire the sentry to pass the word +for the butcher; I want to speak with him." + +I bowed and retired. I was met in the most friendly manner by the +officers and by my own messmates, who had been prepossessed in my favour +by O'Brien, previous to my arrival. In our service you always find young +men of the best families on board large frigates, they being considered +the most eligible class of vessels; I found my messmates to be +gentlemen, with one or two exceptions, but I never met so many wild +young lads together. I sat down and ate some dinner with them, although +I was to dine in the cabin, for the sea air made me hungry. + +"Don't you dine in the cabin, Simple?" said the caterer. + +"Yes," replied I. + +"Then don't eat any pork, my boy, now, for you'll have plenty there. +Come, gentlemen, fill your glasses; we'll drink happiness to our new +messmate, and pledging him, we pledge ourselves to try to promote it." + +"I'll just join you in that toast," said O'Brien, walking into the +midshipmen's berth. "What is it you're drinking it in?" + +"Some of Collier's port, sir. Boy, bring a glass for Mr O'Brien." + +"Here's your health, Peter, and wishing you may keep out of a French +prison this cruise. Mr Montague, as caterer, I will beg you will order +another candle, that I may see what's on the table, and then perhaps I +may find something I should like to pick a bit off." + +"Here's the fag end of a leg of mutton, Mr O'Brien, and there's a piece +of boiled pork." + +"Then I'll just trouble you for a bit close to the knuckle. Peter, you +dine in the cabin, so do I--the doctor refused." + +"Have you heard when we sail, Mr O'Brien?" inquired one of my messmates. + +"I heard at the admiral's office, that we were expected to be ordered +round to Plymouth, and receive our orders there, either for the East or +West Indies, they thought; and, indeed, the stores we have taken on +board indicate that we are going foreign, but the captain's signal is +just made, and probably the admiral has intelligence to communicate." + +In about an hour afterwards, the captain returned, looking very red and +hot. He called the first lieutenant aside from the rest of the officers, +who were on deck to receive him, and told him, that we were to start for +Plymouth next morning; and the admiral had told him confidentially, that +we were to proceed to the West Indies with a convoy, which was then +collecting. He appeared to be very much alarmed at the idea of going to +make a feast for the land crabs; and certainly, his gross habit of body +rendered him very unfit for the climate. This news was soon spread +through the ship, and there was of course no little bustle and +preparation. The doctor, who had refused to dine in the cabin upon plea +of being unwell, sent up to say, that he felt himself so much better, +that he should have great pleasure to attend the summons, and he joined +the first lieutenant, O'Brien, and me, as we walked in. We sat down to +table; the covers were removed, and as the midshipmen prophesied, there +was plenty of _pork_--mock-turtle soup, made out of a pig's head--a +boiled leg of pork and peas-pudding--a roast spare-rib, with the +crackling on--sausages and potatoes, and pig's pettitoes. I cannot say +that I disliked my dinner, and I ate very heartily; but a roast +sucking-pig came on as a second course, which rather surprised me; but +what surprised me more, was the quantity devoured by Mrs To. She handed +her plate from the boiled pork to the roast, asked for some pettitoes, +tried the sausages, and finished with a whole plateful of sucking-pig +and stuffing. We had an apple pie at the end, but as we had already +eaten apple sauce with the roast pork, we did not care for it. The +doctor, who abominated pork, ate pretty well, and was excessively +attentive to Mrs To. + +"Will you not take a piece of the roast pig, doctor?" said the captain. + +"Why, really Captain To, as we are bound, by all reports, to a station +where we must not venture upon pork, I think I will not refuse to take a +piece, for I am very fond of it." + +"How do you mean?" inquired the captain and his lady, both in a breath. + +"Perhaps I may be wrongly informed," replied the doctor, "but I have +heard that we were ordered to the West Indies; now, if so, everyone +knows, that although you may eat salt pork there occasionally without +danger, in all tropical climates, and especially the West Indies, two or +three days' living upon this meat will immediately produce dysentery, +which is always fatal in that climate." + +"Indeed!" exclaimed the captain. + +"You don't say so!" rejoined the lady. + +"I do indeed: and have always avoided the West Indies for that very +reason--I am so fond of pork." + +The doctor then proceeded to give nearly one hundred instances of +messmates and shipmen who had been attacked with dysentery, from the +eating of fresh pork in the West Indies; and O'Brien, perceiving the +doctor's drift, joined him, telling some most astonishing accounts of +the dreadful effects of pork in a hot country. I think he said, that +when the French were blockaded, previous to the surrender of Martinique, +that, having nothing but pigs to eat, thirteen hundred out of seventeen +hundred soldiers and officers died in the course of three weeks, and the +others were so reduced by disease, that they were obliged to capitulate. +The doctor then changed the subject, and talked about the yellow fever, +and other diseases of the climate, so that, by his account, the West +India islands were but hospitals to die in. Those most likely to be +attacked, were men in full strong health. The spare men stood a better +chance. This conversation was carried on until it was time to leave--Mrs +To at last quite silent, and the captain gulping down his wine with a +sigh. When we rose from the table, Mrs To did not ask us, as usual, to +stay and hear a little music; she was, like her piano, not a little out +of tune. + +"By the powers, doctor, you did that nately," said O'Brien, as we left +the cabin. + +"O'Brien," said the doctor, "oblige me, and you, Mr Simple, oblige me +also, by not saying a word in the ship about what I have said; if it +once gets wind, I shall have done no good, but if you both hold your +tongues for a short time, I think I may promise you to get rid of +Captain To, his wife, and his pigs." We perceived the justice of his +observation, and promised secrecy. The next morning the ship sailed for +Plymouth, and Mrs To sent for the doctor, not being very well. The +doctor prescribed for her, and I believe, on my conscience, made her +worse on purpose. The illness of his wife, and his own fears, brought +Captain To more than usual in contact with the doctor, of whom he +frequently asked his candid opinion, as to his own chance in a hot +country. + +"Captain To," said the doctor, "_I_ never would have given my opinion, +if you had not asked it, for I am aware, that, as an officer, you would +never flinch from your duty, to whatever quarter of the globe you may be +ordered; but, as you have asked the question, I must say, with your full +habit of body, I think you would not stand a chance of living for more +than two months. At the same time, sir, I may be mistaken; but, at all +events, I must point out that Mrs To is of a very bilious habit, and I +trust you will not do such an injustice to an amiable woman, as to +permit her to accompany you." + +"Thanky, doctor, I'm much obliged to you," replied the captain, turning +round and going down the ladder to his cabin. We were then beating down +the channel; for, although we ran through the Needles with a fair wind, +it fell calm, and shifted to the westward, when we were abreast of +Portland. The next day the captain gave an order for a very fine pig to +be killed, for he was out of provisions. Mrs To still kept her bed, and +he therefore directed that a part should be salted, as he could have no +company. I was in the midshipman's berth, when some of them proposed +that we should get possession of the pig; and the plan they agreed upon +was as follows:--they were to go to the pen that night, and with a +needle stuck in a piece of wood, to prick the pig all over, and then rub +gunpowder into the parts wounded. This was done, and although the +butcher was up a dozen times during the night to ascertain what made the +pigs so uneasy, the midshipmen passed the needle from watch to watch, +until the pig was well tattooed in all parts. In the morning watch it +was killed, and when it had been scalded in the tub, and the hair taken +off, it appeared covered with blue spots. The midshipman of the morning +watch, who was on the main-deck, took care to point out to the butcher, +that the pork was _measly_, to which the man unwillingly assented, +stating, at the same time, that he could not imagine how it could be, +for a finer pig he had never put a knife into. The circumstance was +reported to the captain, who was much astonished. The doctor came in to +visit Mrs To, and the captain requested the doctor to examine the pig, +and give his opinion. Although this was not the doctor's province, yet, +as he had great reason for keeping intimate with the captain, he +immediately consented. Going forward, he met me, and I told him the +secret. "That will do," replied he; "it all tends to what we wish." The +doctor returned to the captain, and said, "that there was no doubt but +that the pig was measly, which was a complaint very frequent on board +ships, particularly in hot climates, where all pork became _measly_--one +great reason for its there proving so unwholesome." The captain sent for +the first lieutenant, and, with a deep sigh, ordered him to throw the +pig overboard; but the first lieutenant, who knew what had been done +from O'Brien, ordered the _master's mate_ to throw it overboard: the +master's mate, touching his hat, said, "Ay, ay, sir," and took it down +into the berth, where we cut it up, salted one half, and the other we +finished before we arrived at Plymouth, which was six days from the time +we left Portsmouth. On our arrival, we found part of the convoy lying +there, but no orders for us; and, to my great delight, on the following +day the _Diomede_ arrived, from a cruise off the Western Islands. I +obtained permission to go on board with O'Brien, and we once more +greeted our messmates. Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, went down to +Captain Savage, to say we were on board, and he requested us to come +into the cabin. He greeted us warmly, and gave us great credit for the +manner in which we had effected our escape. When we left the cabin, I +found Mr Chucks, the boatswain, waiting outside. + +"My dear Mr Simple, extend your flapper to me, for I'm delighted to see +you. I long to have a long talk with you." + +"And I should like it also, Mr Chucks, but I'm afraid we have not time; +I dine with Captain Savage to-day, and it only wants an hour of +dinner-time." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I've been looking at your frigate, and she's a beauty +--much larger than the _Diomede_." + +"And she behaves quite as well," replied I. "I think we are two hundred +tons larger. You've no idea of her size until you are on her decks." + +"I should like to be boatswain of her, Mr Simple; that is, with Captain +Savage, for I will not part with him." I had some more conversation with +Mr Chucks, but I was obliged to attend to others, who interrupted us. We +had a very pleasant dinner with our old captain, to whom we gave a +history of our adventures, and then we returned on board. + + + + +Chapter XXVIII + +We get rid of the pigs and piano-forte--The last boat on shore before +sailing--The First Lieutenant too hasty, and the consequences to me. + + +We waited three days, at the expiration of which, we heard that Captain +To was about to exchange with Captain Savage. We could not believe such +good news to be true, and we could not ascertain the truth of the +report, as the captain had gone on shore with Mrs To, who recovered fast +after she was out of our doctor's hands; so fast, indeed, that a week +afterwards, on questioning the steward, upon his return on board, how +Mrs To was, he replied, "O charming well again, sir, she has eaten a +_whole pig_, since she left the ship." But the report was true: Captain +To, afraid to go to the West Indies, had effected an exchange with +Captain Savage. Captain Savage was permitted, as was the custom of the +service, to bring his first lieutenant, his boatswain, and his barge's +crew with him. He joined a day or two before we sailed, and never was +there more joy on board: the only people miserable were the first +lieutenant, and those belonging to the _Sanglier_ who were obliged to +follow Captain To; who, with his wife, his pigs, and her piano, were all +got rid of in the course of one forenoon. + +I have already described pay-day on board of a man-of-war, but I think +that the two days before sailing are even more unpleasant; although, +generally speaking, all our money being spent, we are not sorry when we +once are fairly out of harbour, and find ourselves in _blue water_. The +men never work well on those days: they are thinking of their wives and +sweethearts, of the pleasure they had when at liberty on shore, where +they might get drunk without punishment; and many of them are either +half drunk at the time, or suffering from the effects of previous +intoxication. The ship is in disorder, and crowded with the variety of +stock and spare stores which are obliged to be taken on board in a +hurry, and have not yet been properly secured in their places. The first +lieutenant is cross, the officers are grave, and the poor midshipmen, +with all their own little comforts to attend to, are harassed and driven +about like post-horses. "Mr Simple," inquired the first lieutenant, +"where do you come from?" + +"From the gun wharf, sir, with the gunner's spare blocks, and +breechings." + +"Very well--send the marines aft to clear the boat, and pipe away the +first putter. Mr Simple, jump into the first cutter, and go to Mount +Wise for the officers. Be careful that none of your men leave the boat. +Come, be smart." + +Now, I had been away the whole morning, and it was then half-past one, +and I had had no dinner: but I said nothing, and went into the boat. As +soon as I was off, O'Brien, who stood by Mr Falcon, said, "Peter was +thinking of his dinner, poor fellow!" + +"I really quite forgot it," replied the first lieutenant, "there is so +much to do. He is a willing boy, and he shall dine in the gun-room when +he comes back." And so I did--so I lost nothing by not expostulating, +and gained more of the favour of the first lieutenant, who never forgot +what he called _zeal_. But the hardest trial of the whole, is to the +midshipman who is sent with the boat to purchase the supplies for the +cabin and gun-room on the day before the ship's sailing. It was my +misfortune to be ordered upon that service this time, and that very +unexpectedly. I had been ordered to dress myself to take the gig on +shore for the captain's orders, and was walking the deck with my very +best uniform and side arms, when the marine officer, who was the +gun-room caterer, came up to the first lieutenant, and asked him for a +boat. The boat was manned, and a midshipman ordered to take charge of +it; but when he came up, the first lieutenant recollecting that he had +come off two days before with only half his boat's crew, would not trust +him, and called out to me, "Here, Mr Simple, I must send you in this +boat; mind you are careful that none of the men leave it; and bring off +the sergeant of marines, who is on shore looking for the men who have +broken their liberty." Although I could not but feel proud of the +compliment, yet I did not much like going in my very best uniform, and +would have run down and changed it, but the marine officer and all the +people were in the boat, and I could not keep it waiting, so down the +side I went, and we shoved off. We had, besides the boat's crew, the +marine officer, the purser, the gun-room steward, the captain's steward, +and the purser's steward; so that we were pretty full. It blew hard from +the S.E., and there was a sea running, but as the tide was flowing into +the harbour there was not much bubble. We hoisted the foresail, flew +before the wind and tide, and in a quarter of an hour we were at Mutton +Cove, when the marine officer expressed his wish to land. The +landing-place was crowded with boats, and it was not without sundry +exchanges of foul words and oaths, and the bow-men dashing the point of +their boat-hooks into the shore-boats, to make them keep clear of us, +that we forced our way to the beach. The marine officer and all the +stewards then left the boat, and I had to look after the men. I had not +been there three minutes before the bow-man said that his wife was on +the wharf with his clothes from the wash, and begged leave to go and +fetch them. I refused, telling him that she could bring them to him. "Vy +now, Mr Simple," said the woman, "ar'n't you a nice lady's man, to go +for to ax me to muddle my way through all the dead dogs, cabbage-stalks, +and stinking hakes' heads, with my bran new shoes and clean stockings?" +I looked at her, and sure enough she was, as they say in France, _bien +chaussée_. "Come, Mr Simple, let him out to come for his clothes, and +you'll see that he's back in a moment." I did not like to refuse her, as +it was very dirty and wet, and the shingle was strewed with all that she +had mentioned. The bow-man made a spring out with his boat-hook, threw +it back, went up to his wife, and commenced talking with her, while I +watched him. "If you please, sir, there's my young woman come down, +mayn't I speak to her?" said another of the men. I turned round, and +refused him. He expostulated, and begged very hard, but I was resolute; +however, when I again turned my eyes to watch the bow-man, he and his +wife were gone. "There," says I to the coxswain, "I knew it would be so; +you see Hickman is off." + +"Only gone to take a parting glass, sir," replied the coxswain; "he'll +be here directly." + +"I hope so; but I'm afraid not." After this, I refused all the +solicitations of the men to be allowed to leave the boat, but I +permitted them to have some beer brought down to them. The gun-room +steward then came back with a basket of _soft-tack_, _i.e._ loaves of +bread, and told me that the marine officer requested I would allow two +of the men to go up with him to Glencross's shop, to bring down some of +the stores. Of course, I sent two of the men, and told the steward if he +saw Hickman, to bring him down to the boat. + +By this time many of the women belonging to the ship had assembled, and +commenced a noisy conversation with the boat's crew. One brought an +article for Jim, another some clothes for Bill; some of them climbed +into the boat, and sat with the men; others came and went, bringing beer +and tobacco, which the men desired them to purchase. The crowd, the +noise, and confusion were so great, that it was with the utmost +difficulty that I could keep my eyes on all my men, who, one after +another, made an attempt to leave the boat. Just at that time came down +the sergeant of the marines, with three of our men whom he had picked +up, _roaring drunk_. They were tumbled into the boat, and increased the +difficulty, as in looking after those who were riotous, and would try to +leave the boat by force, I was not so well able to keep my eyes on those +who were sober. The sergeant then went up after another man, and I told +him also about Hickman. About half an hour afterwards the steward came +down with the two men, loaded with cabbages, baskets of eggs, strings of +onions, crockery of all descriptions, paper parcels of groceries, legs +and shoulders of mutton, which were crowded in, until not only the +stern-sheets, but all under the thwarts of the boat were also crammed +full. They told me that they had a few more things to bring down, and +that the marine officer had gone to Stonehouse to see his wife, so that +they should be down long before him. In half an hour more, during which +I had the greatest difficulty to manage the boat's crew, they returned +with a dozen geese and two ducks, tied by the legs, but without the two +men, who had given them the slip, so that there were now three men gone, +and I knew Mr Falcon would be very angry, for they were three of the +smartest men in the ship. I was now determined not to run the risk of +losing more men, and I ordered the boat's crew to shove off, that I +might lie at the wharf, where they could not climb up. They were very +mutinous, grumbled very much, and would hardly obey me; the fact is, +they had drunk a great deal, and some of them were more than half tipsy. +However, at last I was obeyed, but not without being saluted with a +shower of invectives from the women, and the execrations of the men +belonging to the wherries and _shore_ boats which were washed against +our sides by the swell. The weather had become much worse, and looked +very threatening. I waited an hour more, when the sergeant of marines +came down with two more men, one of whom, to my great joy, was Hickman. +This made me more comfortable, as I was not answerable for the other +two; still I was in great trouble from the riotous and insolent +behaviour of the boat's crew, and the other men brought down by the +sergeant of marines. One of them fell back into a basket of eggs, and +smashed them all to atoms; still the marine officer did not come down, +and it was getting late. The tide being now at the ebb, running out +against the wind, there was a heavy sea, and I had to go off to the ship +with a boat deeply laden, and most of the people in her in a state of +intoxication. The coxswain, who was the only one who was sober, +recommended our shoving off, as it would soon be dark, and some accident +would happen. I reflected a minute, and agreeing with him, I ordered the +oars to be got out, and we shoved off, the sergeant of marines and the +gun-room steward perched up in the bows--drunken men, ducks and geese, +lying together at the bottom of the boat--the stern sheets loaded up to +the gunwale, and the other passengers and myself sitting how we could +among the crockery and a variety of other articles with which the boat +was crowded. It was a scene of much confusion--the half-drunken boat's +crew _catching crabs_, and falling forward upon the others--those who +were quite drunk swearing they _would_ pull. "Lay on your oar, Sullivan; +you are doing more harm than good. You drunken rascal, I'll report you +as soon as we get on board." + +"How the divil can I pull, your honour, when there's that fellow Jones +breaking the very back o' me with his oar, and he never touching the +water all the while?" + +"You lie," cried Jones; "I'm pulling the boat by myself against the +whole of the larbard oars." + +"He's rowing _dry_, your honour--only making bilave." + +"Do you call this rowing dry?" cried another, as a sea swept over the +boat, fore and aft, wetting everybody to the skin. + +"Now, your honour, just look and see if I ain't pulling the very arms +off me?" cried Sullivan. + +"Is there water enough to cross the bridge, Swinburne?" said I to the +coxswain. + +"Plenty, Mr Simple; it is but quarter ebb, and the sooner we are on +board the better." + +We were now past Devil's Point, and the sea was very heavy: the boat +plunged in the trough, so that I was afraid that she would break her +back. She was soon half full of water, and the two after-oars were laid +in for the men to bale. "Plase your honour, hadn't I better cut free the +legs of them ducks and geese, and allow them to swim for their lives?" +cried Sullivan, resting on his oar; "the poor birds will be drowned else +in their own _iliment_." + +"No, no--pull away as hard as you can." + +By this time the drunken men in the bottom of the boat began to be very +uneasy, from the quantity of water which washed about them, and made +several staggering attempts to get on their legs. They fell down again +upon the ducks and geese, the major part of which were saved from being +drowned by being suffocated. The sea on the bridge was very heavy; and +although the tide swept us out, we were nearly swamped. Soft bread was +washing about the bottom of the boat; the parcels of sugar, pepper, and +salt, were wet through with the salt water, and a sudden jerk threw the +captain's steward, who was seated upon the gunwale close to the +after-oar, right upon the whole of the crockery and eggs, which added to +the mass of destruction. A few more seas shipped completed the job, and +the gun-room steward was in despair. "That's a darling," cried Sullivan: +"the politest boat in the whole fleet. She makes more bows and curtseys +than the finest couple in the land. Give way, my lads, and work the +crater stuff out of your elbows, and the first lieutenant will see us +all so sober, and so wet in the bargain, and think we're all so dry, +that perhaps he'll be after giving us a raw nip when we get on board." + +In a quarter of an hour we were nearly alongside, but the men pulled so +badly, and the sea was so great, that we missed the ship and went +astern. They veered out a buoy with a line, which we got hold of, and +were hauled up by the marines and after-guard, the boat plunging bows +under, and drenching us through and through. At last we got under the +counter, and I climbed up by the stern ladder. Mr Falcon was on deck, +and very angry at the boat not coming alongside properly. "I thought, Mr +Simple, that you knew by this time how to bring a boat alongside." + +"So I do, sir, I hope," replied I; "but the boat was so full of water, +and the men would not give way." + +"What men has the sergeant brought on board?" + +"Three, sir," replied I, shivering with the cold, and unhappy at my very +best uniform being spoiled. + +"Are all your boat's crew with you, sir?" + +"No sir; there are two left on shore; they--" + +"Not a word, sir. Up to the mast-head, and stay there till I call you +down. If it were not so late, I would send you on shore, and not receive +you on board again without the men. Up, sir, immediately." + +I did not venture to explain, but up I went. It was very cold, blowing +hard from the S.E., with heavy squalls; I was so wet that the wind +appeared to blow through me, and it was now nearly dark. I reached the +cross-trees, and when I was seated there, I felt that I had done my +duty, and had not been fairly treated. During this time, the boat had +been hauled up alongside to clear, and a pretty clearance there was. All +the ducks and geese were dead, the eggs and crockery all broke, the +grocery almost all washed away; in short, as O'Brien observed, there was +"a very pretty general average." Mr Falcon was still very angry. "Who +are the men missing?" inquired he, of Swinburne, the coxswain, as he +came up the side. + +"Williams and Sweetman, sir." + +"Two of the smartest topmen, I am told. It really is too provoking; +there is not a midshipman in the ship I can trust. I must work all day, +and get no assistance. The service is really going to the devil now, +with the young men who are sent on board to be brought up as officers, +and who are above doing their duty. What made you so late, Swinburne?" + +"Waiting for the marine officer, who went to Stonehouse to see his wife; +but Mr Simple would not wait any longer, as it was getting dark, and we +had so many drunken men in the boat." + +"Mr Simple did right. I wish Mr Harrison would stay on shore with his +wife altogether--it's really trifling with the service. Pray, Mr +Swinburne, why had you not your eyes about you if Mr Simple was so +careless? How came you to allow these men to leave the boat?" + +"The men were ordered up by the marine officer to bring down your +stores, sir, and they gave the steward the slip. It was no fault of Mr +Simple's, nor of mine either. We lay off at the wharf for two hours +before we started, or we should have lost more; for what can a poor lad +do, when he has charge of drunken men who _will not_ obey orders?" And +the coxswain looked up at the mast-head, as much as to say, Why is he +sent there? "I'll take my oath, sir," continued Swinburne, "that Mr +Simple never put his foot out of the boat, from the time that he went +over the side until he came on board, and that no young gentleman could +have done his duty more strictly." + +Mr Falcon looked very angry at first at the coxswain speaking so freely, +but he said nothing. He took one or two turns on the deck, and then +hailing the mast-head, desired me to come down. But I _could not_; my +limbs were so cramped with the wind blowing upon my wet clothes, that I +could not move. He hailed again; I heard him, but was not able to +answer. One of the topmen then came up, and perceiving my condition, +hailed the deck, and said he believed I was dying, for I could not move, +and that he dared not leave me for fear I should fall. O'Brien, who had +been on deck all the while, jumped up the rigging, and was soon at the +cross-trees where I was. He sent the topman down into the top for a +tail-block and the studding-sail haulyards, made a whip, and lowered me +on deck. I was immediately put into my hammock; and the surgeon ordering +me some hot brandy-and-water, and plenty of blankets, in a few hours I +was quite restored. + +O'Brien, who was at my bedside, said, "Never mind, Peter, and don't be +angry with Mr Falcon, for he is very sorry." + +"I am not angry, O'Brien; for Mr Falcon has been too kind to me not to +make me forgive him for being once hasty." + +The surgeon came to my hammock, gave me some more hot drink, desired me +to go to sleep, and I woke the next morning quite well. + +When I came into the berth, my messmates asked me how I was, and many of +them railed against the tyranny of Mr Falcon; but I took his part, +saying, that he was hasty in this instance, perhaps, but that, generally +speaking, he was an excellent and very just officer. Some agreed with +me, but others did not. One of them, who was always in disgrace, sneered +at me, and said, "Peter reads the Bible, and knows that if you smite one +cheek, he must offer the other. Now, I'll answer for it, if I pull his +right ear he will offer me his left." So saying, he lugged me by the +ear, upon which I knocked him down for his trouble. The berth was then +cleared away for a fight, and in a quarter of an hour my opponent gave +in; but I suffered a little, and had a very black eye. I had hardly time +to wash myself and change my shirt, which was bloody, when I was +summoned on the quarter-deck. When I arrived, I found Mr Falcon walking +up and down. He looked very hard at me, but did not ask me any questions +as to the cause of my unusual appearance. + +"Mr Simple," said he, "I sent for you to beg your pardon for my +behaviour to you last night, which was not only very hasty but very +unjust. I find that you were not to blame for the loss of the men." + +I felt very sorry for him when I heard him speak so handsomely; and, to +make his mind more easy, I told him that, although I certainly was not +to blame for the loss of those two men, still I had done wrong in +permitting Hickman to leave the boat; and that had not the sergeant +picked him up, I should have come off without him, and therefore I _did_ +deserve the punishment which I had received. + +"Mr Simple," replied Mr Falcon, "I respect you, and admire your +feelings; still, I was to blame, and it is my duty to apologise. Now go +down below. I would have requested the pleasure of your company to +dinner, but I perceive that something else has occurred, which, under +any other circumstances, I would have inquired into, but at present I +shall not." + +I touched my hat and went below. In the meantime, O'Brien had been made +acquainted with the occasion of the quarrel, which he did not fail to +explain to Mr Falcon, who, O'Brien declared, "was not the least bit in +the world angry with me for what had occurred." Indeed, after that, Mr +Falcon always treated me with the greatest kindness, and employed me on +every duty which he considered of consequence. He was a sincere friend; +for he did not allow me to neglect my duty, but, at the same time, +treated me with consideration and confidence. + +The marine officer came on board very angry at being left behind, and +talked about a court-martial on me for disrespect, and neglect of stores +entrusted to my charge; but O'Brien told me not to mind him, or what he +said. "It's my opinion, Peter, that the gentleman has eaten no small +quantity of _flap-doodle_ in his lifetime." + +"What's that, O'Brien?" replied I; "I never heard of it." + +"Why, Peter," rejoined he, "it's the stuff they _feed fools on_." + + + + +Chapter XXIX + +A long conversation with Mr Chucks--The advantage of having a +prayer-book in your pocket--We run down the trades--Swinburne, the +quartermaster, and his yarns--The Captain falls sick. + + +The next day the captain came on board with sealed orders, with +directions not to open them until off Ushant. In the afternoon, we +weighed and made sail. It was a fine northerly wind, and the Bay of +Biscay was smooth. We bore up, set all the studding-sails, and ran along +at the rate of eleven miles an hour. As I could not appear on the +quarter-deck, I was put down on the sick-list. Captain Savage, who was +very particular, asked what was the matter with me. The surgeon replied, +"An inflamed eye." The captain asked no more questions; and I took care +to keep out of his way. I walked in the evening on the forecastle, when +I renewed my intimacy with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to whom I gave a +full narrative of all my adventures in France. "I have been ruminating, +Mr Simple," said he, "how such a stripling as you could have gone +through so much fatigue, and now I know how it is. It is _blood_, Mr +Simple--all blood--you are descended from good blood; and there's as +much difference between nobility and the lower classes, as there is +between a racer and a cart-horse." + +"I cannot agree with you, Mr Chucks. Common people are quite as brave as +those who are well-born. You do not mean to say that you are not brave-- +that the seamen on board this ship are not brave?" + +"No, no, Mr Simple; but as I observed about myself, my mother was a +woman who could not be trusted, and there is no saying who was my +father; and she was a very pretty woman to boot, which levels all +distinctions for the moment. As for the seamen, God knows, I should do +them an injustice if I did not acknowledge that they were as brave as +lions. But there are two kinds of bravery, Mr Simple--the bravery of the +moment, and the courage of bearing up for a long while. Do you +understand me?" + +"I think I do; but still do not agree with you. Who will bear more +fatigue than our sailors?" + +"Yes, yes, Mr Simple, that is because they are _endured_ to it from +their hard life: but if the common sailors were all such little +thread-papers as you, and had been brought up so carefully, they would +not have gone through all you have. That's my opinion, Mr Simple-- +there's nothing like _blood_." + +"I think, Mr Chucks, you carry your ideas on that subject too far." + +"I do not, Mr Simple; and I think, moreover, that he who has more to +lose than another will always strive more. Now a common man only fights +for his own credit; but when a man is descended from a long line of +people famous in history, and has a coat _in_ arms, criss-crossed, and +stuck all over with lions and unicorns to support the dignity of--why, +has he not to fight for the credit of all his ancestors, whose names +would be disgraced if he didn't behave well?" + +"I agree with you, Mr Chucks, in the latter remark, to a certain +extent." + +"Ah! Mr Simple, we never know the value of good descent when we have it, +but it's when we cannot get it that we can _'preciate_ it. I wish I had +been born a nobleman--I do, by heavens!" and Mr Chucks slapped his fist +against the funnel, so as to make it ring again. "Well, Mr Simple," +continued he, after a pause, "it is, however, a great comfort to me that +I have parted company with that fool, Mr Muddle, with his twenty-six +thousand and odd years, and that old woman, Dispart, the gunner. You +don't know how those two men used to fret me; it was very silly, but I +couldn't help it. Now the warrant officers of this ship appear to be +very respectable, quiet men, who know their duty and attend to it, and +are not too familiar, which I hate and detest. You went home to your +friends, of course, when you arrived in England?" + +"I did, Mr Chucks, and spent some days with my grandfather, Lord +Privilege, whom you say you once met at dinner." + +"Well, and how was the old gentleman?" inquired the boatswain, with a +sigh. + +"Very well, considering his age." + +"Now do, pray, Mr Simple, tell me all about it; from the time that the +servants met you at the door until you went away. Describe to me the +house and all the rooms, for I like to hear of all these things, +although I can never see them again." + +To please Mr Chucks, I entered into a full detail, which he listened to +very attentively, until it was late, and then with difficulty would he +permit me to leave off, and go down to my hammock. The next day, rather +a singular circumstance occurred. One of the midshipmen was mast-headed +by the second lieutenant, for not waiting on deck until he was relieved. +He was down below when he was sent for, and expecting to be punished +from what the quarter-master told him, he thrust the first book into his +jacket-pocket which he could lay his hand on, to amuse himself at the +mast-head, and then ran on deck. As he surmised, he was immediately +ordered aloft. He had not been there more than five minutes, when a +sudden squall carried away the main-top-gallant mast, and away he went +flying over to leeward (for the wind had shifted, and the yards were now +braced up). Had he gone overboard, as he could not swim, he would, in +all probability, have been drowned; but the book in his pocket brought +him up in the jaws of the fore-brace block, where he hung until taken +out by the main-topmen. Now it so happened that it was a prayer-book +which he had laid hold of in his hurry, and those who were superstitious +declared it was all owing to his having taken a religious book with him. +I did not think so, as any other book would have answered the purpose +quite as well: still the midshipman himself thought so, and it was +productive of good, as he was a sad scamp, and behaved much better +afterwards. But I had nearly forgotten to mention a circumstance which +occurred on the day of our sailing, which will be eventually found to +have had a great influence upon my after life. It was this. I received a +letter from my father, evidently written in great vexation and +annoyance, informing me that my uncle, whose wife I have already +mentioned had two daughters, and was again expected to be confined, had +suddenly broken up his housekeeping, discharged every servant, and +proceeded to Ireland under an assumed name. No reason had been given for +this unaccountable proceeding; and not even my grandfather, or any of +the members of the family, had had notice of his intention. Indeed, it +was by mere accident that his departure was discovered, about a +fortnight after it had taken place. My father had taken a great deal of +pains to find out where he was residing; but although my uncle was +traced to Cork, from that town all clue was lost, but still it was +supposed, from inquiries, that he was not very far from thence. "Now," +observed my father, in his letter, "I cannot help surmising, that my +brother, in his anxiety to retain the advantages of the title to his own +family, has resolved to produce to the world a spurious child as his +own, by some contrivance or other. His wife's health is very bad, and +she is not likely to have a large family. Should the one now expected +prove a daughter, there is little chance of his ever having another; and +I have no hesitation in declaring my conviction that the measure has +been taken with a view of defrauding you of your chance of eventually +being called to the House of Lords." + +I showed this letter to O'Brien, who, after reading it over two or three +times, gave his opinion that my father was right in his conjectures +"Depend upon it, Peter, there's foul play intended, that is, if foul +play is rendered necessary." + +"But, O'Brien, I cannot imagine why, if my uncle has no son of his own, +he should prefer acknowledging a son of any other person's, instead of +his own nephew." + +"But I can, Peter: your uncle is not a man likely to live very long, as +you know. The doctors say that, with his short neck, his life is not +worth two years' purchase. Now if he had a son, consider that his +daughters would be much better off, and much more likely to get married; +besides, there are many reasons which I won't talk about now, because +it's no use making you think your uncle to be a scoundrel. But I'll tell +you what I'll do. I'll go down to my cabin directly, and write to Father +M'Grath, telling him the whole affair, and desiring him to ferret him +out, and watch him narrowly, and I'll bet you a dozen of claret, that in +less than a week he'll find him out, and will dog him to the last. He'll +get hold of his Irish servants, and you little know the power that a +priest has in our country. Now give the description as well as you can +of your uncle's appearance, also of that of his wife, and the number of +their family, and their ages. Father M'Grath must have all particulars, +and then let him alone for doing what is needful." + +I complied with O'Brien's directions as well as I could, and he wrote a +very long letter to Father M'Grath, which was sent on shore by a careful +hand. I answered my father's letter, and then thought no more about the +matter. + +Our sealed orders were opened, and proved our destination to be the West +Indies, as we expected. We touched at Madeira to take in some wine for +the ship's company; but as we only remained one day, we were not +permitted to go on shore. Fortunate indeed would it have been if we had +never gone there; for the day after, our captain, who had dined with the +consul, was taken alarmingly ill. From the symptoms, the surgeon dreaded +that he had been poisoned by something which he had eaten, and which +most probably had been cooked in a copper vessel not properly tinned. We +were all very anxious that he should recover; but, on the contrary, he +appeared to grow worse and worse every day, wasting away, and dying, as +they say, by inches. At last he was put into his cot, and never rose +from it again. This melancholy circumstance, added to the knowledge that +we were proceeding to an unhealthy climate, caused a gloom throughout +the ship; and, although the trade wind carried us along bounding over +the bright blue sea--although the weather was now warm, yet not too +warm--although the sun rose in splendour, and all was beautiful and +cheering, the state of the captain's health was a check to all mirth. +Every one trod the deck softly, and spoke in a low voice, that he might +not be disturbed; all were anxious to have the morning report of the +surgeon, and our conversation was generally upon the sickly climate, the +yellow fever, of death, and the palisades where they buried us. +Swinburne, the quarter-master, was in my watch, and as he had been long +in the West Indies, I used to obtain all the information from him that I +could. The old fellow had a secret pleasure in frightening me as much +as he could. "Really, Mr Simple, you ax so many questions," he would +say, as I accosted him while he was at his station at the _conn_, "I +wish you wouldn't ax so many questions, and make yourself uncomfortable +--'steady so'--'steady it is;'--with regard to Yellow Jack, as we calls +the yellow fever, it's a devil incarnate, that's sartain--you're well +and able to take your allowance in the morning, and dead as a herring +'fore night. First comes a bit of a head-ache--you goes to the doctor, +who bleeds you like a pig--then you go out of your senses--then up comes +the black vomit, and then it's all over with you, and you go to the land +crabs, who pick your bones as clean and as white as a sea elephant's +tooth. But there be one thing to be said in favour of Yellow Jack, a'ter +all. You dies _straight,_ like a gentleman--not cribbled up like a +snow-fish, chucked out on the ice of the river St Lawrence, with your +knees up to your nose, or your toes stuck into your arm-pits, as does +take place in some of your foreign complaints; but straight, quite +straight, and limber, like a _gentleman_. Still Jack is a little +mischievous, that's sartain. In the Euridiscy we had as fine a ship's +company as was ever piped aloft--'Steady, starboard, my man, you're +half-a-pint off your course;'--we dropped our anchor in Port Royal, and +we thought that there was mischief brewing, for thirty-eight sharks +followed the ship into the harbour, and played about us day and night. I +used to watch them during the night watch, as their fins, above water, +skimmed along, leaving a trail of light behind them; and the second +night I said to the sentry abaft, as I was looking at them smelling +under the counter--'Soldier,' says I, 'them sharks are mustering under +the orders of Yellow Jack,' and I no sooner mentioned Yellow Jack, than +the sharks gave a frisky plunge, every one of them, as much as to say, +'Yes, so we are, d----n your eyes.' The soldier was so frightened that +he would have fallen overboard, if I hadn't caught him by the scruff of +the neck, for he was standing on the top of the taffrail. As it was, he +dropped his musket over the stern, which the sharks dashed at from every +quarter, making the sea look like fire--and he had it charged to his +wages, £1 16s. I think. However, the fate of his musket gave him an idea +of what would have happened to him if he had fallen in instead of it-- +and he never got on the taffrail again. 'Steady, port--mind your helm, +Smith--you can listen to my yarn all the same.' Well, Mr Simple, Yellow +Jack came, sure enough. First the purser was called to account for all +his roguery. We didn't care much about the land crabs eating him, who +had made so many poor dead men chew tobacco, cheating their wives and +relations, or Greenwich Hospital, as it might happen. Then went two of +the middies, just about your age, Mr Simple: they, poor fellows, went +off in a sad hurry; then went the master--and so it went on, till at +last we had no more nor sixty men left in the ship. The captain died +last, and then Yellow Jack had filled his maw, and left the rest of us +alone. As soon as the captain died, all the sharks left the ship, and we +never saw any more of them." + +Such were the yarns told to me and the other midshipmen during the night +watches; and I can assure the reader, that they gave us no small alarm. +Every day that we worked our day's work, and found ourselves so much +nearer to the islands, did we feel as if we were so much nearer to our +graves. I once spoke to O'Brien about it, and he laughed. "Peter," says +he, "fear kills more people than the yellow fever, or any other +complaint, in the West Indies. Swinburne is an old rogue, and only +laughing at you. The devil's not half so black as he's painted--nor the +yellow fever half so yellow, I presume." We were now fast nearing the +island of Barbadoes, the weather was beautiful, the wind always fair; +the flying fish rose in shoals, startled by the foaming seas, which +rolled away, and roared from the bows as our swift frigate cleaved +through the water; the porpoises played about us in thousands--the +bonetas and dolphins at one time chased the flying fish, and at others, +appeared to be delighted in keeping company with the rapid vessel. +Everything was beautiful, and we all should have been happy, had it not +been for the state of Captain Savage, in the first place, who daily +became worse and worse, and from the dread of the hell, which we were +about to enter through such a watery paradise. Mr Falcon, who was in +command, was grave and thoughtful; he appeared indeed to be quite +miserable at the chance which would insure his own promotion. In every +attention, and every care that could be taken to insure quiet and afford +relief to the captain, he was unremitting; the offence of making a noise +was now, with him, a greater crime than drunkenness, or even mutiny. +When within three days' sail of Barbadoes, it fell almost calm, and the +captain became much worse; and now for the first time did we behold the +great white shark of the Atlantic. There are several kinds of sharks, +but the most dangerous are the great white shark and the ground shark. +The former grows to an enormous length--the latter is seldom very long, +not more than twelve feet, but spreads to a great breadth. We could not +hook the sharks as they played around us, for Mr Falcon would not permit +it, lest the noise of hauling them on board should disturb the captain. +A breeze again sprang up. In two days we were close to the island, and +the men were desired to look out for the land. + + + + +Chapter XXX + +Death of Captain Savage--His funeral--Specimen of true Barbadian born-- +Sucking the monkey--Effects of a hurricane. + + +The next morning, having hove-to part of the night, land was discovered +on the bow, and was reported by the mast-head man at the same moment +that the surgeon came up and announced the death of our noble captain. +Although it had been expected for the last two or three days, the +intelligence created a heavy gloom throughout the ship; the men worked +in silence, and spoke to one another in whispers. Mr Falcon was deeply +affected, and so were we all. In the course of the morning, we ran in to +the island, and unhappy as I was, I never can forget the sensation of +admiration which I felt on closing with Needham Point to enter Carlisle +Bay. The beach of such a pure dazzling white, backed by the tall, green +cocoa-nut trees, waving their spreading heads to the fresh breeze, the +dark blue of the sky, and the deeper blue of the transparent sea, +occasionally varied into green as we passed by the coral rocks which +threw their branches out from the bottom--the town opening to our view +by degrees, houses after houses, so neat, with their green jalousies, +dotting the landscape, the fort with the colours flying, troops of +officers riding down, a busy population of all colours, relieved by the +whiteness of their dress. Altogether the scene realised my first ideas +of Fairyland, for I thought I had never witnessed anything so beautiful. +"And can this be such a dreadful place as it is described?" thought I. +The sails were clewed up, the anchor was dropped to the bottom, and a +salute from the ship, answered by the forts, added to the effect of the +scene. The sails were furled, the boats lowered down, the boatswain +squared the yards from the jolly-boat ahead. Mr Falcon dressed, and his +boat being manned, went on shore with the despatches. Then, as soon as +the work was over, a new scene of delight presented itself to the sight +of midshipmen who had been so long upon his Majesty's allowance. These +were the boats, which crowded round the ship, loaded with baskets of +bananas, oranges, shaddocks, soursops, and every other kind of tropical +fruit, fried flying fish, eggs, fowls, milk, and everything which could +tempt a poor boy after a long sea voyage. The watch being called, down +we all hastened into the boats, and returned loaded with treasures, +which we soon contrived to make disappear. After stowing away as much +fruit as would have sufficed for a dessert to a dinner given to twenty +people in England, I returned on deck. + +There was no other man-of-war in the bay; but my attention was directed +to a beautiful little vessel, a schooner, whose fairy form contrasted +strongly with a West India trader which lay close to her. All of a +sudden, as I was looking at her beautiful outline, a yell rose from her +which quite startled me, and immediately afterwards her deck was covered +with nearly two hundred naked figures with woolly heads, chattering and +grinning at each other. She was a Spanish slaver, which had been +captured, and had arrived the evening before. The slaves were still on +board, waiting the orders of the governor. They had been on deck about +ten minutes, when three or four men, with large panama straw hats on +their heads, and long rattans in their hands, jumped upon the gunnel, +and in a few seconds drove them all down below. I then turned round, and +observed a black woman who had just climbed up the side of the frigate. +O'Brien was on deck, and she walked up to him in the most consequential +manner. + +"How do you do, sar? Very happy you com back again," said she to +O'Brien. + +"I'm very well, I thank you, ma'am," replied O'Brien, "and I hope to go +back the same; but never having put my foot into this bay before, you +have the advantage of me." + +"Nebber here before, so help me Gad! me tink I know you--me tink I +recollect your handsome face--I Lady Rodney, sar. Ah, piccaninny buccra! +how you do?" said she, turning round to me. "Me hope to hab the honour +to wash for you, sar," courtesying to O'Brien. + +"What do you charge in this place?" + +"All the same price, one bit a piece." + +"What do you call a bit?" inquired I. + +"A bit, lilly massa?--what you call um _bit_? Dem four _sharp shins_ to +a pictareen." + +Our deck was now enlivened by several army officers, besides gentlemen +residents, who came off to hear the news. Invitations to the mess and to +the houses of the gentlemen followed, and as they departed Mr Falcon +returned on board. He told O'Brien and the other officers, that the +admiral and squadron were expected in a few days, and that we were to +remain in Carlisle Bay and refit immediately. But although the fright +about the yellow fever had considerably subsided in our breasts, the +remembrance that our poor captain was lying dead in the cabin was +constantly obtruding. All that night the carpenters were up making up +his coffin, for he was to be buried the next day. The body is never +allowed to remain many hours unburied in the tropical climates, where +putrefaction is so rapid. The following morning the men were up at +daylight, washing the decks and putting the ship in order; they worked +willingly, and yet with a silent decorum which showed what their +feelings were. Never were the decks better cleaned, never were the ropes +more carefully _flemished_ down; the hammocks were stowed in their white +cloths, the yards carefully squared, and the ropes hauled taut. At eight +o'clock, the colours and pennant were hoisted half-mast high. The men +were then ordered down to breakfast, and to clean themselves. During the +time that the men were at breakfast, all the officers went into the +cabin to take a last farewell look at our gallant captain. He appeared +to have died without pain, and there was a beautiful tranquillity in his +face; but even already a change had taken place, and we perceived the +necessity of his being buried so soon. We saw him placed in his coffin, +and then quitted the cabin without speaking to each other. When the +coffin was nailed down, it was brought up by the barge's crew to the +quarter-deck, and laid upon the gratings amidships, covered over with +the Union Jack. The men came up from below without waiting for the pipe, +and a solemnity appeared to pervade every motion. Order and quiet were +universal, out of respect to the deceased. When the boats were ordered +to be manned, the men almost appeared to steal into them. The barge +received the coffin, which was placed in the stern sheets. The other +boats then hauled up, and received the officers, marines, and sailors, +who were to follow the procession. When all was ready, the barge was +shoved off by the bow-men, the crew dropped their oars into the water +without a splash and pulled the _minute stroke:_ +the other boats +followed, and as soon as they were clear of the ship, the minute guns +boomed along the smooth surface of the bay from the opposite side of the +ship, while the yards were topped to starboard and to port, the ropes +were slackened and hung in bights, so as to give the idea of distress +and neglect. At the same time, a dozen or more of the men who had been +ready, dropped over the sides of the ship in differents [sic] parts, and +with their cans of paint and brushes in a few minutes effaced the whole +of the broad white riband which marked the beautiful run of the frigate, +and left her all black and in deep mourning. The guns from the forts now +responded to our own. The merchant ships lowered their colours, and the +men stood up respectfully with their hats off, as the procession moved +slowly to the landing-place. The coffin was borne to the burial-ground +by the crew of the barge, followed by Mr Falcon as chief mourner, all +the officers of the ship who could be spared, one hundred of the seamen +walking two and two, and the marines with their arms reversed. The +_cortege_ was joined by the army officers, while the troops lined the +streets, and the bands played the Dead March. The service was read, the +volleys were fired over the grave, and with oppressed feelings we +returned to the boats, and pulled on board. It then appeared to me, and +to a certain degree I was correct, that as soon as we had paid our last +respect to his remains, we had also forgotten our grief. The yards were +again squared, the ropes hauled taut, working dresses resumed, and all +was activity and bustle. The fact is, that sailors and soldiers have no +time for lamentation, and running as they do from clime to clime, so +does scene follow scene in the same variety and quickness. In a day or +two, the captain appeared to be, although he was not, forgotten. Our +first business was to _water_ the ship by rafting and towing off the +casks. I was in charge of the boat again, with Swinburne as coxswain. As +we pulled in, there were a number of negroes bathing in the surf, +bobbing their woolly heads under it, as it rolled into the beach. "Now, +Mr Simple," said Swinburne, "see how I'll make them _niggers_ scamper." +He then stood up in the stern sheets, and pointing with his finger, +roared out, "A shark! a shark!" Away started all the bathers for the +beach, puffing and blowing, from their dreaded enemy; nor did they stop +to look for him until they were high and dry out of his reach. Then, +when we all laughed, they called us "_all the hangman tiefs_," and every +other opprobrious name which they could select from their vocabulary. I +was very much amused with this scene, and as much afterwards with the +negroes who crowded round us when we landed. They appeared such merry +fellows, always laughing, chattering, singing, and showing their white +teeth. One fellow danced round us, snapping his fingers, and singing +songs without beginning or end. "Eh, massa, what you say now? Me no +slave--true Barbadian born, sir. Eh! + + "Nebba see de day + Dat Rodney run away, + Nebba see um night + Dat Rodney cannot fight. + +Massa me free man, sar. Suppose you give me pictareen, drink massa +health. + + "Nebba see de day, boy, + Pompey lickum de Caesar. + +Eh! and you nebba see de day dat de Grasshopper run on de Warrington." + +"Out of the way, you nigger," cried one of the men who was rolling down +a cask. + +"Eh! who you call nigger? Me free man, and true Barbadian born. Go along +you man-of-war man. + + "Man-of-war, buccra, + Man-of-war, buccra, + He de boy for me; + Sodger, buccra, + Sodger, buccra, + Nebba, nebba do, + Nebba, nebba do for me; + Sodger give me one shilling, + Sailor give me two. + +Massa, now suppose you give me only one pictareen now. You really +handsome young gentleman." + +"Now, just walk off," said Swinburne, lifting up a stick he found on the +beach. + +"Eh! walk off. + + "Nebba see de day, boy, + 'Badian run away, boy. + +Go, do your work, sar. Why you talk to me? Go, work, sar. I free man, +and real Barbadian born. + + "Negro on de shore + See de ship come in, + De buccra come on shore, + Wid de hand up to the chin; + Man-of-war buccra, + Man-of-war buccra, + He de boy for me, + Man-of-war, buccra, + Man-of-war, buccra, + Gib pictareen to me." + +At this moment my attention was directed to another negro, who lay on +the beach rolling and foaming at the mouth, apparently in a fit. "What's +the matter with that fellow?" said I to the same negro who continued +close to me, notwithstanding Swinburne's stick. "Eh! call him Sam Slack, +massa. He ab um _tic tic_ fit." And such was apparently the case. "Stop, +me cure him;" and he snatched the stick out of Swinburne's hand, and +running up to the man, who continued to roll on the beach, commenced +belabouring him without mercy. "Eh, Sambo!" cried he at last, quite out +of breath, "you no better yet--try again." He recommenced, until at last +the man got up and ran away as fast as he could. Now, whether the man +was shamming, or whether it was real _tic tic_, or epileptic fit, I know +not; but I never heard of such a cure for it before. I threw the fellow +half a pictareen, as much for the amusement he had afforded me as to get +rid of him. "Tanky, massa; now man-of-war man, here de tick for you +again to keep off all the dam niggers." So saying, he handed the stick +to Swinburne, made a polite bow, and departed. We were, however, soon +surrounded by others, particularly some dingy ladies with baskets of +fruit, and who, as they said, "sell ebery ting." I perceived that my +sailors were very fond of cocoa-nut milk, which, being a harmless +beverage, I did not object to their purchasing from these ladies, who +had chiefly cocoa-nuts in their baskets. As I had never tasted it, I +asked them what it was, and bought a cocoa-nut. I selected the largest. +"No, massa, dat not good for you. Better one for buccra officer." I then +selected another, but the same objection was made. "No, massa, dis very +fine milk. Very good for de tomac." I drank off the milk from the holes +on the top of the cocoa-nut, and found it very refreshing. As for the +sailors, they appeared very fond of it indeed. But I very soon found +that if good for de tomac, it was not very good for the head, as my men, +instead of rolling the casks, began to roll themselves in all +directions, and when it was time to go off to dinner, most of them were +dead drunk at the bottom of the boat. They insisted that it was the +_sun_ which affected them. Very hot it certainly was, and I believed +them at first, when they were only giddy; but I was convinced to the +contrary when I found that they became insensible; yet how they had +procured the liquor was to me a mystery. When I came on board, Mr +Falcon, who, although acting captain, continued his duties as first +lieutenant almost as punctually as before, asked how it was that I had +allowed my men to get so tipsy. I assured him that I could not tell, +that I had never allowed one to leave the watering-place, or to buy any +liquor: the only thing that they had to drink was a little cocoa-nut +milk, which, as it was so very hot, I thought there could be no +objection to. Mr Falcon smiled and said, "Mr Simple, I'm an old stager +in the West Indies, and I'll let you into a secret. Do you know what +'_sucking the monkey_' means?" "No, sir." "Well, then, I'll tell you; it +is a term used among seamen for drinking _rum_ out of _cocoa-nuts,_ the +milk having been poured out, and the liquor substituted. Now do you +comprehend why your men are tipsy?" I stared with all my eyes, for it +never would have entered into my head; and I then perceived why it was +that the black woman would not give me the first cocoa-nuts which I +selected. I told Mr Falcon of this circumstance, who replied, "Well, it +was not your fault, only you must not forget it another time." + +It was my first watch that night, and Swinburne was quarter-master on +deck. "Swinburne," said I, "you have often been in the West Indies +before, why did you not tell me that the men were '_sucking the monkey_' +when I thought that they were only drinking cocoa-nut milk?" + +Swinburne chuckled, and answered, "Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, it didn't +become me as a ship-mate to peach. It's but seldom that a poor fellow +has an opportunity of making himself a 'little happy,' and it would not +be fair to take away the chance. I suppose you'll never let them have +cocoa-nut milk again?" + +"No, that I will not; but I cannot imagine what pleasure they can find +in getting so tipsy." + +"It's merely because they are not allowed to be so, sir. That's the +whole story in few words." + +"Well, I think I could cure them if I were permitted to try." + +"I should like to hear how you'd manage that, Mr Simple." + +"Why, I would oblige a man to drink off a half pint of liquor, and then +put him by himself. I would not allow him companions to make merry with +so as to make a pleasure of intoxication. I would then wait until next +morning when he was sober, and leave him alone with a racking headache +until the evening, when I would give him another dose, and so on, +forcing him to get drunk until he hated the smell of liquor." + +"Well, Mr Simple, it might do with some, but many of our chaps would +require the dose you mention to be repeated pretty often before it would +effect a cure; and what's more, they'd be very willing patients, and +make no wry faces at their physic." + +"Well, that might be, but it would cure them at last. But tell me, +Swinburne, were you ever in a hurricane?" + +"I've been in everything, Mr Simple, I believe, except at school, and I +never had no time to go there. Do you see that battery at Needham Point? +Well, in the hurricane of '82, them same guns were whirled away by the +wind, right over to this point here on the opposite side, the sentries +in their sentry-boxes after them. Some of the soldiers who faced the +wind had their teeth blown down their throats like broken 'baccy-pipes, +others had their heads turned round like dog vanes, 'cause they waited +for orders to the '_right about face_,' and the whole air was full of +young _niggers_ blowing about like peelings of _ingons_." + +"You don't suppose I believe all this, Swinburne?" + +"That's as may be, Mr Simple, but I've told the story so often, that I +believe it myself." + +"What ship were you in?" + +"In the _Blanche_, Captain Faulkner, who was as fine a fellow as poor +Captain Savage, whom we buried yesterday; there could not be a finer +than either of them. I was at the taking of the Pique, and carried him +down below after he had received his mortal wound. We did a pretty thing +out here when we took Fort Royal by a coup-de-_main_, which means, +boarding from the _main_-yard of the frigate, and dropping from it into +the fort. But what's that under the moon?--there's a sail in the +offing." + +Swinburne fetched the glass and directed it to the spot. "One, two, +three, four. It's the admiral, sir, and the squadron hove-to for the +night. One's a line-of-battle ship, I'll swear." I examined the vessels, +and agreeing with Swinburne, reported them to Mr Falcon. My watch was +then over, and as soon as I was released I went to my hammock. + + +END OF VOL. I. + +TURNBULL AND SPEARS, PRINTERS, EDINBURGH. + + + + +PETER SIMPLE + +AND + +THE THREE CUTTERS + + +BY + +CAPTAIN MARRYAT + + +VOL. II. + + +LONDON + +J.M. DENT AND CO. + +BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN AND CO. + +MDCCCXCV + + + + +Contents + +VOLUME II + +PETER SIMPLE + +CHAPTER XXXI 1 + +CHAPTER XXXII 12 + +CHAPTER XXXIII 24 + +CHAPTER XXXIV 38 + +CHAPTER XXXV 45 + +CHAPTER XXXVI 53 + +CHAPTER XXXVII 59 + +CHAPTER XXXVIII 68 + +CHAPTER XXXIX 80 + +CHAPTER XL 87 + +CHAPTER XLI 96 + +CHAPTER XLII 105 + +CHAPTER XLIII 111 + +CHAPTER XLIV 117 + +CHAPTER XLV 123 + +CHAPTER XLVI 128 + +CHAPTER XLVII 134 + +CHAPTER XLVIII 140 + +CHAPTER XLIX 146 + +CHAPTER L 153 + +CHAPTER LI 160 + +CHAPTER LII 169 + +CHAPTER LIII 175 + +CHAPTER LIV 180 + +CHAPTER LV 186 + +CHAPTER LVI 195 + +CHAPTER LVII 203 + +CHAPTER LVIII 209 + +CHAPTER LIX 217 + +CHAPTER LX 221 + +CHAPTER LXI 225 + +CHAPTER LXII 232 + +CHAPTER LXIII 238 + +CHAPTER LXIV 244 + +CHAPTER LXV 255 + + + +_THE THREE CUTTERS_ + + +CHAPTER I 267 + +CHAPTER II 279 + +CHAPTER III 287 + +CHAPTER IV 293 + +CHAPTER V 302 + +CHAPTER VI 313 + +CHAPTER VII 321 + + + + + +Peter Simple + + + + +Chapter XXXI + +Captain Kearney--The dignity ball. + + +The next morning at daylight we exchanged numbers, and saluted the flag, +and by eight o'clock they all anchored. Mr Falcon went on board the +admiral's ship with despatches, and to report the death of Captain +Savage. In about half an hour he returned, and we were glad to perceive, +with a smile upon his face, from which we argued that he would receive +his acting order as commander, which was a question of some doubt, as +the admiral had the power to give the vacancy to whom he pleased, +although it would not have been fair if he had not given it to Mr +Falcon; not that Mr Falcon would not have received his commission, as +Captain Savage dying when the ship was under no admiral's command, he +_made himself_; but still the admiral might have sent him home, and not +have given him a ship. But this he did, the captain of the _Minerve_ +being appointed to the _Sanglier_, the captain of the _Opossum_ to the +_Minerve_, and Captain Falcon taking command of the _Opossum_. He +received his commission that evening, and the next day the exchanges +were made. Captain Falcon would have taken me with him, and offered so +to do; but I could not leave O'Brien, so I preferred remaining in the +_Sanglier_. + +We were all anxious to know what sort of a person our new captain was, +whose name was Kearney; but we had no time to ask the midshipmen, except +when they came in charge of the boats which brought his luggage; they +replied generally, that he was a very good sort of fellow, and there was +no harm in him. But when I had the night watch with Swinburne, he came +up to me, and said, "Well, Mr Simple, so we have a new captain. I sailed +with him for two years in a brig." + +"And pray, Swinburne, what sort of a person is he?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple: he's a good-tempered, kind fellow +enough, but--" + +"But what?" + +"Such a _bouncer_!!" + +"How do you mean? He's not a very stout man." + +"Bless you, Mr Simple, why you don't understand English. I mean that +he's the greatest liar that ever walked a deck. Now, Mr Simple, you know +I can spin a yarn occasionally." + +"Yes, that you can, witness the hurricane the other night." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I cannot _hold a candle_ to him. It a'n't that I might +not stretch now and then, just for fun, as far as he can, but, d----n +it, he's always on the stretch. In fact, Mr Simple, he never tells the +truth except _by mistake_. He's as poor as a rat, and has nothing but +his pay; yet to believe him, he is worth at least as much as Greenwich +Hospital. But you'll soon find him out, and he'll sarve to laugh at +behind his back, you know, Mr Simple, for that's _no go_ before his +face." + +Captain Kearney made his appearance on board the next day. The men were +mustered to receive him, and all the officers were on the quarter-deck. +"You've a fine set of marines here, Captain Falcon," observed he; "those +I left on board of the _Minerve_ were only fit to be _hung_; and you +have a good show of reefers too--those I left in the _Minerve_ were not +_worth hanging_. If you please, I'll read my commission, if you'll order +the men aft." His commission was read, all hands with their hats off +from respect to the authority from which it proceeded. "Now, my lads," +said Captain Kearney, addressing the ship's company, "I've but few words +to say to you. I am appointed to command this ship, and you appear to +have a very good character from your late first lieutenant. All I +request of you is this: be smart, keep sober, and always _tell the +truth_--that's enough. Pipe down. Gentlemen," continued he, addressing +the officers, "I trust that we shall be good friends; and I see no +reason that it should be otherwise." He then turned away with a bow, and +called his coxswain--"Williams, you'll go on board, and tell my steward +that I have promised to dine with the governor to-day, and that he must +come to dress me; and, coxswain, recollect to put the sheepskin mat on +the stern gratings of my gig--not the one I used to have when I was on +shore in my _carriage_, but the blue one which was used for the +_chariot_--you know which I mean." I happened to look Swinburne in the +face, who cocked his eye at me, as much as to say--"There he goes." We +afterwards met the officers of the _Minerve_, who corroborated all that +Swinburne had said, although it was quite unnecessary, as we had the +captain's own words every minute to satisfy us of the fact. + +Dinner parties were now very numerous, and the hospitality of the island +is but too well known. The invitations extended to the midshipmen, and +many was the good dinner and kind reception which I had during my stay. +There was, however, one thing I had heard so much of, that I was anxious +to witness it, which was a _dignity ball_. But I must enter a little +into explanation, or my readers will not understand me. The coloured +people of Barbadoes, for reasons best known to themselves, are +immoderately proud, and look upon all the negroes who are born on other +islands as _niggers_; they have also an extraordinary idea of their own +bravery, although I never heard that it has ever been put to the proof. +The free Barbadians are, most of them, very rich, and hold up their +heads as they walk with an air quite ridiculous. They ape the manners of +the Europeans, at the same time that they appear to consider them as +almost their inferiors. Now, a _dignity_ ball is a ball given by the +most consequential of their coloured people, and from the amusement and +various other reasons, is generally well attended by the officers both +on shore and afloat. The price of the tickets of admission was high--I +think they were half a joe, or eight dollars each. + +The governor sent out cards for a grand ball and supper for the ensuing +week, and Miss Betsy Austin, a quadroon woman, ascertaining the fact, +sent out her cards for the same evening. This was not altogether in +_rivalry_, but for another reason, which was, that she was aware that +most of the officers and midshipmen of the ships would obtain permission +to go to the governor's ball, and, preferring hers, would slip away and +join the party, by which means she ensured a full attendance. + +On the day of invitation our captain came on board, and told our new +first lieutenant (of whom I shall say more hereafter) that the governor +insisted that all _his_ officers should go--that he would take no +denial, and, therefore, he presumed, go they must; that the fact was, +that the governor was a _relation_ of his wife, and under some trifling +obligations to him in obtaining for him his present command. He +certainly had spoken to the _prime minister_, and he thought it not +impossible, considering the intimate terms which the minister and he had +been on from childhood, that his solicitation might have had some +effect; at all events, it was pleasant to find that there was some +little gratitude left in this world. After this, of course, every +officer went, with the exception of the master, who said that he'd as +soon have two round turns in his hawse as go to see people kick their +legs about like fools, and that he'd take care of the ship. + +The governor's ball was very splendid, but the ladies were rather +sallow, from the effects of the climate. However, there were exceptions, +and on the whole it was a very gay affair; but we were all anxious to go +to the _dignity_ ball of Miss Betsy Austin. I slipped away with three +other midshipmen, and we soon arrived there. A crowd of negroes were +outside of the house; but the ball had not yet commenced, from the want +of gentlemen, the ball being very correct, nothing under mulatto in +colour being admitted. Perhaps I ought to say here, that the progeny of +a white and a negro is a mulatto, or half and half--of a white and +mulatto, a _quadroon_, or one-quarter black, and of this class the +company were chiefly composed. I believe a quadroon and white make the +_mustee_ or one-eighth black, and the mustee and white the mustafina, or +one-sixteenth black. After that, they are _whitewashed_, and considered +as Europeans. The pride of colour is very great in the West Indies, and +they have as many quarterings as a German prince in his coat of arms; a +quadroon looks down upon a mulatto, while a mulatto looks down upon a +_sambo_, that is, half mulatto half negro, while a sambo in his turn +looks down upon a _nigger_. The quadroons are certainly the handsomest +race of the whole, some of the women are really beautiful; their hair is +long and perfectly straight, their eyes large and black, their figures +perfection, and you can see the colour mantle in their cheeks quite as +plainly, and with as much effect, as in those of a European. We found +the door of Miss Austin's house open, and ornamented with orange +branches, and on our presenting ourselves were accosted by a mulatto +gentleman, who was, we presumed, "usher of the black rod." His head was +well powdered, he was dressed in white jean trousers, a waistcoat not +six inches long, and a half-worn post-captain's coat on, as a livery, +With a low bow, he "took de liberty to trouble de gentlemen for de card +for de ball," which being produced, we were ushered on by him to the +ball-room, at the door of which Miss Austin was waiting to receive her +company. She made us a low courtesy, observing, "She really happy to see +de _gentlemen_ of de ship, but hoped to see de _officers_ also at her +_dignity_." + +This remark touched our _dignity_, and one of my companions replied, +"That we midshipmen considered ourselves officers, and no _small_ ones +either, and that if she waited for the lieutenants she must wait until +they were tired of the governor's ball, we having given the preference +to hers." This remark set all to rights; sangaree was handed about, and +I looked around at the company. I must acknowledge, at the risk of +losing the good opinion of my fair countrywomen, that I never saw before +so many pretty figures and faces. The _officers_ not having yet arrived, +we received all the attention, and I was successively presented to Miss +Eurydice, Miss Minerva, Miss Sylvia, Miss Aspasia, Miss Euterpe, and +many others, evidently borrowed from the different men-of-war which had +been on the station. All these young ladies gave themselves all the airs +of Almack's. Their dresses I cannot pretend to describe--jewels of value +were not wanting, but their drapery was slight; they appeared neither to +wear nor to require stays, and on the whole, their figures were so +perfect that they could only be ill dressed by having on too much dress. +A few more midshipmen and some lieutenants (O'Brien among the number) +having made their appearance, Miss Austin directed that the ball should +commence. I requested the honour of Miss Eurydice's hand in a cotillon, +which was to open the ball. At this moment stepped forth the premier +violin, master of the ceremonies and ballet-master, Massa Johnson, +really a very smart man, who gave lessons in dancing to all the "'Badian +ladies." He was a dark quadroon, his hair slightly powdered, dressed in +a light blue coat thrown well back, to show his lily-white waistcoat, +only one button of which he could afford to button to make full room for +the pride of his heart, the frill of his shirt, which really was _un +Jabot superb_, four inches wide, and extending from his collar to the +waistband of his nankeen tights, which were finished off at his knees +with huge bunches of ribbon; his legs were encased in silk stockings, +which, however, was not very good taste on his part, as they showed the +manifest advantage which an European has over a coloured man in the +formation of the leg: instead of being straight, his shins curved like a +cheese-knife, and, moreover, his leg was planted into his foot like the +handle into a broom or scrubbing-brush, there being quite as much of the +foot on the heel side as on the toe side. Such was the appearance of Mr +Apollo Johnson, whom the ladies considered as the _ne plus ultra_ of +fashion, and the _arbiter elegantiarum_. His _bow-tick_, or +fiddle-stick, was his wand, whose magic rap on the fiddle produced +immediate obedience to his mandates. "Ladies and gentle, take your +seats." All started up. "Miss Eurydice, you open de ball." + +Miss Eurydice had but a sorry partner, but she undertook to instruct me. +O'Brien was our _vis-à-vis_ with Miss Euterpe. The other gentlemen were +officers from the ships, and we stood up twelve, checkered brown and +white, like a chess-board. All eyes were fixed upon Mr Apollo Johnson, +who first looked at the couples, then at his fiddle, and lastly, at the +other musicians, to see if all was right, and then with a wave of his +_bow-tick_ the music began. "Massa lieutenant," cried Apollo to O'Brien, +"cross over to opposite lady, right hand and left, den figure to Miss +Eurydice--dat right; now four hand round. You lilly midshipman, set your +partner, sir; den twist her round; dat do; now stop. First figure all +over." + +At this time I thought I might venture to talk a little with my partner, +and I ventured a remark; to my surprise she answered very sharply, "I +come here for dance, sar, and not for chatter; look, Massa Johnson, he +tap um bow-tick." + +The second figure commenced, and I made a sad bungle; so I did of the +third, and fourth, and fifth, for I never had danced a cotillon. When I +handed my partner to her place, who certainly was the prettiest girl in +the room, she looked rather contemptuously at me, and observed to a +neighbour, "I really pity de gentleman as come from England dat no know +how to dance nor nothing at all, until em hab instruction at Barbadoes." + +A country dance was now called for, which was more acceptable to all +parties, as none of Mr Apollo Johnson's pupils were very perfect in +their cotillon, and none of the officers, except O'Brien, knew anything +about them. O'Brien's superior education on this point, added to his +lieutenant's epaulet and handsome person, made him much courted; but he +took up with Miss Eurydice after I had left her, and remained with her +the whole evening; thereby exciting the jealousy of Mr Apollo Johnson, +who, it appears, was amorous in that direction. Our party increased +every minute; all the officers of the garrison, and, finally, as soon as +they could get away, the governor's aid-de-camps, all dressed in _mufti_ +(i.e., plain clothes). The dancing continued until three o'clock in the +morning, when it was quite a squeeze, from the constant arrival of fresh +recruits from all the houses of Barbadoes. I must say, that a few +bottles of eau de Cologne thrown about the room would have improved the +atmosphere. By this time the heat was terrible, and the _mopping_ of the +ladies' faces everlasting. I would recommend a DIGNITY ball to all stout +gentlemen who wish to be reduced a stone or two. Supper was now +announced, and having danced the last country dance with Miss Minerva, I +of course had the pleasure of handing her into the supper-room. It was +my fate to sit opposite to a fine turkey, and I asked my partner if I +should have the pleasure of helping her to a piece of the breast. She +looked at me very indignantly, and said, "Curse your impudence, sar, I +wonder where you larn manners. Sar, I take a lilly turkey _bosom_, if +you please. Talk of _breast_ to a lady, sar;--really quite _horrid_." I +made two or three more barbarous mistakes before the supper was +finished. At last the eating was over, and I must say a better supper I +never sat down to. "Silence, gentlemen and ladies," cried Mr Apollo +Johnson. "Wid the permission of our amiable hostess, I will propose a +toast. Gentlemen and ladies--You all know, and if be so you don't, I say +that there no place in the world like Barbadoes. All de world fight +against England, but England nebber fear; King George nebber fear, while +_Barbadoes 'tand 'tiff_. 'Badian fight for King George to last drop of +him blood. Nebber see the day 'Badian run away; you all know dem +Frenchmans at San Lucee, give up Morne Fortunee, when he hear de 'Badian +volunteer come against him. I hope no 'fence present company, but um +sorry to say English come here too jealous of 'Badians. Gentlemen and +lady--Barbadian born ab only one fault--he _really too brave_. I propose +health of 'Island of Barbadoes.'" Acclamations from all quarters +followed this truly modest speech, and the toast was drunk with rapture; +the ladies were delighted with Mr Apollo's eloquence, and the lead which +he took in the company. + +O'Brien then rose and addressed the company as follows:-- + +"Ladies and gentlemen--Mr Poll has spoken better than the best parrot I +ever met with in this country, but as he has thought proper to drink the +'Island of Barbadoes,' I mean to be a little more particular. I wish, +with him, all good health to the island; but there is a charm without +which the island would be a desert--that is, the society of the lovely +girls which now surround us, and take our hearts by storm--" (here +O'Brien put his arm gently round Miss Eurydice's waist, and Mr Apollo +ground his teeth so as to be heard at the furthest end of the room)"-- +therefore, gentlemen, with your permission, I will propose the health of +the ''Badian Ladies.'" This speech of O'Brien's was declared, by the +females at least, to be infinitely superior to Mr Apollo Johnson's. Miss +Eurydice was even more gracious, and the other ladies were more envious. + +Many other toasts and much more wine was drunk, until the male part of +the company appeared to be rather riotous. Mr Apollo, however, had to +regain his superiority, and after some hems and hahs, begged permission +to give a sentiment. "Gentlemen and ladies, I beg then to say-- + + "Here's to de cock who make lub to de hen, + Crow till he hoarse and make lub again." + +This _sentiment_ was received with rapture; and after silence was +obtained, Miss Betsy Austin rose and said--"Unaccustomed as she was to +public 'peaking, she must not sit 'till and not tank de gentleman for +his very fine toast, and in de name of de ladies she begged to propose +another sentimen', which was-- + + "Here to de hen what nebber refuses, + Let cock pay compliment whenebber he chooses." + +If the first toast was received with applause, this was with enthusiasm; +but we received a damper after it was subsided, by the lady of the house +getting up and saying--"Now, gentlemen and ladies, me tink it right to +say dat it time to go home; I nebber allow people get drunk or kick up +bobbery in my house, so now I tink we better take parting-glass, and +very much obliged to you for your company." + +As O'Brien said, this was a broad hint to be off, so we all now took our +parting-glass, in compliance with her request, and our own wishes, and +proceeded to escort our partners on their way home. While I was +assisting Miss Minerva to her red crape shawl, a storm was brewing in +another quarter, to wit, between Mr Apollo Johnson and O'Brien. O'Brien +was assiduously attending to Miss Eurydice, whispering what he called +soft blarney in her ear, when Mr Apollo, who was above spirit-boiling +heat with jealousy, came up, and told Miss Eurydice that he would have +the honour of escorting her home. + +"You may save yourself the trouble, you dingy gut-scraper," replied +O'Brien; "the lady is under my protection, so take your ugly black face +out of the way, or I'll show you how I treat a ''Badian who is really +too brave.'" + +"So 'elp me Gad, Massa Lieutenant, 'pose you put finger on me, I show +you what 'Badian can do." + +Apollo then attempted to insert himself between O'Brien and his lady, +upon which O'Brien shoved him back with great violence, and continued +his course towards the door. They were in the passage when I came up, +for hearing O'Brien's voice in anger, I left Miss Minerva to shift for +herself. + +Miss Eurydice had now left O'Brien's arm, at his request, and he and Mr +Apollo were standing in the passage, O'Brien close to the door, which +was shut, and Apollo swaggering up to him. O'Brien, who knew the tender +part of a black, saluted Apollo with a kick on the shins which would +have broken my leg. Massa Johnson roared with pain, and recoiled two or +three paces, parting the crowd away behind him. The blacks never fight +with fists, but butt with their heads like rams, and with quite as much +force. When Mr Apollo had retreated, he gave his shin one more rub, +uttered a loud yell, and started at O'Brien, with his head aimed at +O'Brien's chest, like a battering-ram. O'Brien, who was aware of this +plan of fighting, stepped dexterously on one side, and allowed Mr Apollo +to pass by him, which he did with such force, that his head went clean +through the panel of the door behind O'Brien, and there he stuck as fast +as if in a pillory, squeaking like a pig for assistance, and foaming +with rage. After some difficulty he was released, and presented a very +melancholy figure. His face was much cut, and his superb _Jabot_ all in +tatters; he appeared, however, to have had quite enough of it, as he +retreated to the supper-room, followed by some of his admirers, without +asking or looking after O'Brien. + +But if Mr Apollo had had enough of it, his friends were too indignant to +allow us to go off scot free. A large mob was collected in the street, +vowing vengeance on us for our treatment of their flash man, and a row +was to be expected. Miss Eurydice had escaped, so that O'Brien had his +hands free. "Cam out, you hangman tiefs, cam out; only wish had rock +stones, to mash your heads with," cried the mob of negroes. The officers +now sallied out in a body, and were saluted with every variety of +missile, such as rotten oranges, cabbage-stalks, mud, and cocoa-nut +shells. We fought our way manfully, but as we neared the beach the mob +increased to hundreds, and at last we could proceed no further, being +completely jammed up by the niggers, upon whose heads we could make no +more impression than upon blocks of marble. "We must draw our swords," +observed an officer. "No, no," replied O'Brien, "that will not do; if +once we shed blood, they will never let us get on board with our lives. +The boat's crew by this time must be aware that there is a row." O'Brien +was right. He had hardly spoken, before a lane was observed to be made +through the crowd in the distance, which in two minutes was open to us. +Swinburne appeared in the middle of it, followed by the rest of the +boat's crew, armed with the boat's stretchers, which they did not aim at +the _heads_ of the blacks, but swept them like scythes against their +_shins_. This they continued to do, right and left of us, as we walked +through and went down to the boats, the seamen closing up the rear with +their stretchers, with which they ever and anon made a sweep at the +black fellows if they approached too near. It was now broad daylight, +and in a few minutes we were again safely on board the frigate. Thus +ended the first and last dignity ball that I attended. + + + + +Chapter XXXII + +I am claimed by Captain Kearney as a relation--Trial of skill between +first lieutenant and captain with the long bow--The shark, the pug-dog, +and the will--A quarter-deck picture. + + +As the admiral was not one who would permit the ships under his command +to lie idle in port, in a very few days after the dignity ball which I +have described, all the squadron sailed on their various destinations. I +was not sorry to leave the bay, for one soon becomes tired of profusion, +and cared nothing for either oranges, bananas, or shaddocks, nor even +for, the good dinners and claret at the tables of the army mess and +gentlemen of the island. The sea breeze soon became more precious to us +than anything else, and if we could have bathed without the fear of a +shark, we should have equally appreciated that most refreshing of all +luxuries under the torrid zone. It was therefore with pleasure that we +received the information that we were to sail the next day to cruise off +the French island of Martinique. Captain Kearney had been so much on +shore that we saw but little of him, and the ship was entirely under the +control of the first lieutenant, of whom I have hitherto not spoken. He +was a very short, pock-marked man, with red hair and whiskers, a good +sailor, and not a bad officer; that is, he was a practical sailor, and +could show any foremast man his duty in any department--and this seamen +very much appreciate, as it is not very common; but I never yet knew an +officer who prided himself upon his practical knowledge, who was at the +same time a good navigator, and too often, by assuming the Jack Tar, +they lower the respect due to them, and become coarse and vulgar in +their manners and language. This was the case with Mr Phillott, who +prided himself upon his slang, and who was at one time "hail fellow well +met" with the seamen, talking to them, and being answered as familiarly +as if they were equals, and at another, knocking the very same men down +with a handspike if he was displeased. He was not bad-tempered, but very +hasty; and his language to the officers was occasionally very incorrect; +to the midshipmen invariably so. However, on the whole, he was not +disliked, although he was certainly not respected as a first lieutenant +should have been. It is but fair to say, that he was the same to his +superiors as he was to his inferiors, and the bluntness with which he +used to contradict and assert his disbelief of Captain Kearney's +narratives often produced a coolness between them for some days. + +The day after we sailed from Carlisle Bay I was asked to dine in the +cabin. The dinner was served upon plated dishes, which looked very +grand, but there was not much in them. "This plate," observed the +captain, "was presented to me by some merchants for my exertions in +saving their property from the Danes when I was cruising off +Heligoland." + +"Why, that lying steward of yours told me that you bought it at +Portsmouth," replied the first lieutenant: "I asked him in the galley +this morning." + +"How came you to assert such a confounded falsehood, sir?" said the +captain to the man who stood behind his chair. + +"I only said that I thought so," replied the steward. + +"Why, didn't you say that the bill had been sent in, through you, seven +or eight times, and that the captain had paid it with a flowing sheet?" + +"Did you dare say that, sir?" interrogated the captain, very angrily. + +"Mr Phillott mistook me, sir?" replied the steward. "He was so busy +damning the sweepers, that he did not hear me right. I said, the +midshipmen had paid their crockery bill with the fore-topsail." + +"Ay! ay!" replied the captain, "that's much more likely." + +"Well, Mr Steward," replied Mr Phillott, "I'll be d----d if you ar'n't +as big a liar as your--" (master, he was going to plump out, but +fortunately the first lieutenant checked himself, and added)--"as your +father was before you." + +The captain changed the conversation by asking me whether I would take a +slice of ham. "It's real Westphalia, Mr Simple; I have them sent me +direct by Count Troningsken, an intimate friend of mine, who kills his +own wild boars in the Hartz mountains." + +"How the devil do you get them over, Captain Kearney?" + +"There are ways and means of doing everything, Mr Phillott, and the +First Consul is not quite so bad as he is represented. The first batch +was sent over with a very handsome letter to me, written in his own +hand, which I will show you some of these days. I wrote to him in +return, and sent to him two Cheshire cheeses by a smuggler, and since +that they came regularly. Did you ever eat Westphalia ham, Mr Simple?" + +"Yes," replied I; "once I partook of one at Lord Privilege's." + +"Lord Privilege! why he's a distant relation of mine, a sort of fifth +cousin," replied Captain Kearney. + +"Indeed, sir!" replied I. + +"Then you must allow me to introduce you to a relation, Captain +Kearney," said the first lieutenant; "for Mr Simple is his grandson." + +"Is it possible? I can only say, Mr Simple, that I shall be most happy +to show you every attention, and am very glad that I have you as one of +my officers." + +Now although this was all false, for Captain Kearney was not in the +remotest manner connected with my family, yet having once asserted it, +he could not retract, and the consequence was, that I was much the +gainer by his falsehood, as he treated me very kindly afterwards, always +calling me _cousin_. + +The first lieutenant smiled and gave me a wink, when the captain had +finished his speech to me, as much as to say, "You're in luck," and then +the conversation changed. Captain Kearney certainly dealt in the +marvellous to admiration, and really told his stories with such +earnestness, that I actually believe that he thought he was telling the +truth. Never was there such an instance of confirmed habit. Telling a +story of a cutting-out expedition, he said, "The French captain would +have fallen by my hand, but just as I levelled my musket, a ball came, +and cut off the cock of the lock as clean as if it was done with a +knife--a very remarkable instance," observed he. + +"Not equal to what occurred in a ship I was in," replied the first +lieutenant, "when the second lieutenant was grazed by a grape-shot, +which cut off one of his whiskers, and turning round his head to +ascertain what was the matter, another grape-shot came and took off the +other. Now that's what I call a _close shave_." + +"Yes," replied Captain Kearney, "very close, indeed, if it were true; +but you'll excuse me, Mr Phillott, but you sometimes tell strange +stories. I do not mind it myself, but the example is not good to my +young relation here, Mr Simple." + +"Captain Kearney," replied the first lieutenant, laughing very +immoderately, "do you know what the pot called the kettle?" + +"No, sir, I do not," retorted the captain, with offended dignity. "Mr +Simple, will you take a glass of wine?" + +I thought that this little _brouillerie_ would have checked the captain; +it did so, but only for a few minutes, when he again commenced. The +first lieutenant observed that it would be necessary to let water into +the ship every morning, and pump it out, to avoid the smell of the +bilge-water. "There are worse smells than bilge-water," replied the +captain. "What do you think of a whole ship's company being nearly +poisoned with otto of roses? Yet that occurred to me when in the +Mediterranean. I was off Smyrna, cruising for a French ship, that was to +sail to France, with a pasha on board, as an ambassador. I knew she +would be a good prize, and was looking sharp out, when one morning we +discovered her on the lee bow. We made all sail, but she walked away +from us, bearing away gradually till we were both before the wind, and +at night we lost sight of her. As I knew that she was bound to +Marseilles, I made all sail to fall in with her again. The wind was +light and variable; but five days afterwards, as I lay in my cot, just +before daylight, I smelt a very strong smell, blowing in at the weather +port, and coming down the skylight, which was open; and after sniffing +at it two or three times, I knew it to be otto of roses. I sent for the +officer of the watch, and asked him if there was anything in sight. He +replied 'that there was not;' and I ordered him to sweep the horizon +with his glass, and look well out to windward. As the wind freshened, +the smell became more powerful. I ordered him to get the royal yards +across, and all ready to make sail, for I knew that the Turk must be +near us. At daylight there he was, just three miles ahead in the wind's +eye. But although he beat us going free, he was no match for us, on a +wind, and before noon we had possession of him and all his harem. +By-the-by, I could tell you a good story about the ladies. She was a +very valuable prize, and among other things, she had a _puncheon_ of +otto of roses on board--." + +"Whew!" cried the first lieutenant. "What! a whole puncheon?" + +"Yes," replied the captain, "a Turkish puncheon--not quite so large, +perhaps, as ours on board; their weights and measures are different. I +took out most of the valuables into the brig I commanded--about 20,000 +sequins--carpets--and among the rest, this cask of otto of roses, which +we had smelt three miles off. We had it safe on board, when the mate of +the hold, not slinging it properly, it fell into the spirit-room with a +run, and was stove to pieces. Never was such a scene; my first +lieutenant and several men on deck fainted; and the men in the hold were +brought up lifeless; it was some time before they were recovered. We let +the water into the brig, and pumped it out, but nothing would take away +the smell, which was so overpowering, that before I could get to Malta I +had forty men on the sick list. When I arrived there, I turned the mate +out of the service for his carelessness. It was not until after having +smoked the brig, and finding that of little use, after having sunk her +for three weeks, that the smell was at all bearable; but even then it +could never be eradicated, and the admiral sent the brig home, and she +was sold out of the service. They could do nothing with her at the +dockyards. She was broken up, and bought by the people at Brighton and +Tunbridge Wells, who used her timbers for turning fancy articles, which, +smelling as they did, so strongly of otto of roses, proved very +profitable. Were you ever at Brighton, Mr Simple?" + +"Never, sir." + +Just at this moment, the officer of the watch came down to say that +there was a very large shark under the counter, and wished to know if +the captain had any objection to the officers attempting to catch it. + +"By no means," replied Captain Kearney; "I hate sharks as I do the +devil. I nearly lost £14,000 by one, when I was in the Mediterranean." + +"May I inquire how, Captain Kearney?" said the first lieutenant, with a +demure face; "I'm very anxious to know." + +"Why the story is simply this," replied the captain. "I had an old +relation at Malta, whom I found out by accident--an old maid of sixty, +who had lived all her life on the island. It was by mere accident that I +knew of her existence. I was walking upon Strada Reale, when I saw a +large baboon that was kept there, who had a little fat pug-dog by the +tail, which he was pulling away with him, while an old lady was +screaming out for help: for whenever she ran to assist her dog, the +baboon made at her as if he would have ravished her, and caught her by +the petticoats with one hand, while he held the pug-dog fast by the +other. I owed that brute a spite for having attacked me one night when I +passed him, and perceiving what was going on, I drew my sword and gave +Mr Jacko such a clip as sent him away howling, and bleeding like a pig, +leaving me in possession of the little pug, which I took up and handed +to his mistress. The old lady trembled very much, and begged me to see +her safe home. She had a very fine house, and after she was seated on +the sofa, thanked me very much for my gallant assistance, as she termed +it, and told me her name was Kearney: upon this I very soon proved my +relationship with her, at which she was much delighted, requesting me to +consider her house as my home. I was for two years afterwards on that +station, and played my cards very well; and the old lady gave me a hint +that I should be her heir, as she had no other relations that she knew +anything of. At last I was ordered home, and not wishing to leave her, I +begged her to accompany me, offering her my cabin. She was taken very +ill a fortnight before we sailed, and made a will, leaving me her sole +heir; but she recovered, and got as fat as ever. Mr Simple, the wine +stands with you. I doubt if Lord Privilege gave you better claret than +there is in that bottle; I imported it myself ten years ago, when I +commanded the _Coquette_." + +"Very odd," observed the first lieutenant--"we bought some at Barbadoes +with the same mark on the bottles and cork." + +"That may be," replied the captain; "old-established houses all keep up +the same marks; but I doubt if your wine can be compared to this." + +As Mr Phillott wished to hear the end of the captain's story, he would +not contradict him this time, by stating what he knew to be the case, +that the captain had sent it on board at Barbadoes; and the captain +proceeded. + +"Well, I gave up my cabin to the old lady, and hung up my cot in the +gun-room during the passage home. + +"We were becalmed abreast of Ceuta for two days. The old lady was very +particular about her pug-dog, and I superintended the washing of the +little brute twice a week; but at last I was tired of it, and gave him +to my coxswain to bathe. My coxswain, who was a lazy fellow, without my +knowledge, used to put the little beast into the bight of a rope, and +tow him overboard for a minute or so. It was during this calm that he +had him overboard in this way, when a confounded shark rose from under +the counter, and took in the pug-dog at one mouthful. The coxswain +reported the loss as a thing of no consequence; but I knew better, and +put the fellow in irons. I then went down and broke the melancholy fact +to Miss Kearney, stating that I had put the man in irons, and would flog +him well. The old lady broke out into a most violent passion at the +intelligence, declared that it was my fault, that I was jealous of the +dog, and had done it on purpose. The more I protested, the more she +raved; and at last I was obliged to go on deck to avoid her abuse and +keep my temper. I had not been on deck five minutes before she came up-- +that is, was shoved up--for she was so heavy that she could not get up +without assistance. You know how elephants in India push the cannon +through a morass with their heads from behind; well, my steward used to +shove her up the companion-ladder just in the same way, with his head +completely buried in her petticoats. As soon as she was up, he used to +pull his head out, looking as red and hot as a fresh-boiled lobster. +Well, up she came, with her will in her hand, and, looking at me very +fiercely, she said, 'Since the shark has taken my dear dog, he may have +my will also,' and, throwing it overboard, she plumped down on the +carronade slide. 'It's very well, madam,' said I, 'but you'll be cool +by-and-by, and then you'll make another will.' 'I swear by all the hopes +that I have of going to heaven that I never will!' she replied. 'Yes, +you will, madam,' replied I. 'Never, so help me God! Captain Kearney; my +money may now go to my next heir, and that, you know, will not be you.' +Now, as I knew very well that the old lady was very positive and as good +as her word, my object was to recover the will, which was floating about +fifty yards astern, without her knowledge. I thought a moment, and then +I called the boatswain's mate to _pipe all hands to bathe_. 'You'll +excuse me, Miss Kearney,' said I, 'but the men are going to bathe, and I +do not think you would like to see them all naked. If you would, you can +stay on deck.' She looked daggers at me, and, rising from the carronade +slide, hobbled to the ladder, saying, 'that the insult was another proof +of how little I deserved any kindness from her.' As soon as she was +below, the quarter-boats were lowered down, and I went in one of them +and picked up the will, which still floated. Brigs having no +stern-windows, of course she could not see my manoeuvre, but thought +that the will was lost for ever. We had very bad weather after that, +owing to which, with the loss of her favourite pug, and constant +quarrelling with me--for I did all I could to annoy her afterwards--she +fell ill, and was buried a fortnight after she was landed at Plymouth. +The old lady kept her word; she never made another will. I proved the +one I had recovered at Doctors' Commons, and touched the whole of her +money." + +As neither the first lieutenant nor I could prove whether the story was +true or not, of course we expressed our congratulations at his good +fortune, and soon afterwards left the cabin to report his marvellous +story to our messmates. When I went on deck, I found that the shark had +just been hooked, and was hauling on board. Mr Phillott had also come on +deck. The officers were all eager about the shark, and were looking over +the side, calling to each other, and giving directions to the men. Now, +although certainly there was a want of decorum on the quarter-deck, +still, the captain having given permission, it was to be excused; but Mr +Phillott thought otherwise, and commenced in his usual style, beginning +with the marine officer. + +"Mr Westley, I'll trouble you not to be getting upon the hammocks. +You'll get off directly, sir. If one of your fellows were to do so, I'd +stop his grog for a month, and I don't see why you are to set a bad +example; you've been too long in barracks, sir, by half. Who is that? Mr +Williams and Mr Moore--both on the hammocks, too. Up to the foretopmast +head, both of you, directly. Mr Thomas, up to the main; and I say, you +youngster, stealing off, perch yourself upon the spanker-boom, and let +me know when you've rode to London. By God! the service is going to +hell! I don't know what officers are made of now-a-days. I'll marry some +of you young gentlemen to the gunner's daughter before long. +Quarter-deck's no better than a bear-garden. No wonder, when lieutenants +set the example." + +This latter remark could only be applied to O'Brien, who stood in the +quarter-boat giving directions, before the tirade of Mr Phillott stopped +the amusement of the party. O'Brien immediately stepped out of the boat, +and going up to Mr Phillott, touched his hat, and said, "Mr Phillott, we +had the captain's permission to catch the shark, and a shark is not to +be got on board by walking up and down on the quarter-deck. As regards +myself, as long as the captain is on board, I hold myself responsible to +him alone for my conduct; and if you think I have done wrong, forward +your complaint; but if you pretend to use such language to me, as you +have to others, I shall hold you responsible. I am here, sir, as an +officer and a gentleman, and will be treated as such; and allow me to +observe, that I consider the quarter-deck more disgraced by foul and +ungentlemanly language, than I do by an officer accidentally standing +upon the hammocks. However, as you have thought proper to interfere, you +may now get the shark on board yourself." + +Mr Phillott turned very red, for he never had come in contact in this +way with O'Brien. All the other officers had submitted quietly to his +unpleasant manner of speaking to them. "Very well, Mr O'Brien; I shall +hold you answerable for this language," replied he, "and shall most +certainly report your conduct to the captain." + +"I will save you the trouble; Captain Kearney is now coming up, and I +will report it myself." + +This O'Brien did, upon the captain's putting his foot on the +quarter-deck. + +"Well," observed the captain to Mr Phillott, "what is it you complain +of?" + +"Mr O'Brien's language, sir. Am I to be addressed on the quarter-deck in +that manner?" + +"I really must say, Mr Phillott," replied Captain Kearney, "that I do +not perceive anything in what Mr O'Brien said, but what is correct. I +command here; and if an officer so nearly equal in rank to yourself has +committed himself, you are not to take the law into your own hands. The +fact is, Mr Phillott, your language is not quite so correct as I could +wish it. I overheard every word that passed, and I consider that _you_ +have treated _your superior_ officer with disrespect--that is, _me_. I +gave permission that the shark should be caught, and with that +permission, I consequently allowed those little deviations from the +discipline of the service which must inevitably take place. Yet you have +thought proper to interfere with my permission, which is tantamount to +an order, and have made use of harsh language, and punished the young +gentlemen for obeying my injunctions. You will oblige me, sir, by +calling them all down, and in restraining your petulance for the future. +I will always support your authority when you are correct; but I regret +that in this instance you have necessitated me to weaken it." + +This was a most severe check to Mr Phillott, who immediately went below, +after hailing the mastheads and calling down the midshipmen. As soon as +he was gone we were all on the hammocks again; the shark was hauled +forward, hoisted on board, and every frying-pan in the ship was in +requisition. We were all much pleased with Captain Kearney's conduct on +this occasion; and, as O'Brien observed to me, "He really is a good +fellow and clever officer. What a thousand pities it is, that he is such +a confounded liar!" I must do Mr Phillott the justice to say that he +bore no malice on this occasion, but treated us as before, which is +saying a great deal in his favour, when it is considered what power a +first lieutenant has of annoying and punishing his inferiors. + + + + +Chapter XXXIII + +Another set-to between the captain and first lieutenant--Cutting-out +expedition--Mr Chucks mistaken--He dies like a gentleman--Swinburne +begins his account of the battle off St Vincent. + + +We had not been more than a week under the Danish island of St Thomas +when we discovered a brig close in-shore. We made all sail in chase, and +soon came within a mile and a half of the shore, when she anchored under +a battery, which opened its fire upon us. Their elevation was too great, +and several shots passed over us and between our masts. + +"I once met with a very remarkable circumstance," observed Captain +Kearney. "Three guns were fired at a frigate I was on board of from a +battery, all at the same time. The three shots cut away the three +topsail ties, and down came all our topsail yards upon the cap at the +same time. That the Frenchmen might not suppose that they had taken such +good aim, we turned up our hands to reef topsails; and by the time that +the men were off the yards the ties were spliced and the topsails run up +again." + +Mr Phillott could not stand this most enormous fib, and he replied, +"Very odd, indeed, Captain Kearney; but I have known a stranger +circumstance. We had put in the powder to the four guns on the main deck +when we were fighting the Danish gun-boats in a frigate I was in, and, +as the men withdrew the rammer, a shot from the enemy entered the +muzzle, and completed the loading of each gun. We fired their own shot +back upon them, and this occurred three times running." + +"Upon my word," replied Captain Kearney, who had his glass upon the +battery, "I think you must have dreamt that circumstance, Mr Phillott." + +"Not more than you did about the topsail ties, Captain Kearney." + +Captain Kearney at that time had the long glass in his hand, holding it +up over his shoulder. A shot from the battery whizzed over his head, and +took the glass out of his hand, shivering it to pieces. "That's once," +said Captain Kearney, very coolly; "but will you pretend that that could +ever happen three times running? They might take my head off, or my arm, +next time, but not another glass; whereas the topsail ties might be cut +by three different shot. But give me another glass, Mr Simple: I am +certain that this vessel is a privateer. What think you, Mr O'Brien?" + +"I am every bit of your opinion, Captain Kearney," replied O'Brien; "and +I think it would be a very pretty bit of practice to the ship's company +to take her out from under that footy battery." + +"Starboard the helm, Mr Phillott; keep away four points, and then we +will think of it to-night." + +The frigate was now kept away, and ran out of the fire of the battery. +It was then about an hour before sunset, and in the West Indies the sun +does not set as it does in the northern latitudes. There is no twilight: +he descends in glory, surrounded with clouds of gold and rubies in their +gorgeous tints; and once below the horizon, all is dark. As soon as it +was dark, we hauled our wind off shore; and a consultation being held +between the captain, Mr Phillott, and O'Brien, the captain at last +decided that the attempt should be made. Indeed, although cutting-out is +a very serious affair, as you combat under every disadvantage, still the +mischief done to our trade by the fast-sailing privateers was so great +in the West Indies, that almost every sacrifice was warrantable for the +interests of the country. Still, Captain Kearney, although a brave and +prudent officer--one who calculated chances, and who would not risk his +men without he deemed that necessity imperiously demanded that such +should be done--was averse to this attack, from his knowledge of the bay +in which the brig was anchored; and although Mr Phillott and O'Brien +both were of opinion that it should be a night attack, Captain Kearney +decided otherwise. He considered, that although the risk might be +greater, yet the force employed would be more consolidated, and that +those who would hold back in the night dare not do so during the day. +Moreover, that the people on shore in the battery, as well as those in +the privateer, would be on the alert all night, and not expecting an +attack during the day, would be taken off their guard. It was therefore +directed that everything should be in preparation during the night, and +that the boats should shove off before daylight, and row in-shore, +concealing themselves behind some rocks under the cliffs which formed +the cape upon one side of the harbour; and, if not discovered, remain +there till noon, at which time it was probable that the privateer's men +would be on shore, and the vessel might be captured without difficulty. + +It is always a scene of much interest on board a man-of-war when +preparations are made for an expedition of this description; and, as the +reader may not have been witness to them, it may perhaps be interesting +to describe them. The boats of men-of-war have generally two crews; the +common boats' crews, which are selected so as not to take away the most +useful men from the ship; and the service, or fighting boats' crews, +which are selected from the very best men on board. The coxswains of the +boats are the most trustworthy men in the ship, and, on this occasion, +have to see that their boats are properly equipped. The launch, yawl, +first and second cutters, were the boats appointed for the expedition. +They all carried guns mounted upon slides, which ran fore and aft +between the men. After the boats were hoisted out, the guns were lowered +down into them and shipped in the bows of the boats. The arm-chests were +next handed in, which contain the cartridges and ammunition. The shot +were put into the bottom of the boats; and so far they were all ready. +The oars of the boats were fitted to pull with grummets upon iron +thole-pins, that they might make little noise, and might swing fore and +aft without falling overboard when the boats pulled alongside the +privateer. A breaker or two (that is, small casks holding about seven +gallons each) of water was put into each boat, and also the men's +allowance of spirits, in case they should be detained by any unforeseen +circumstances. The men belonging to the boats were fully employed in +looking after their arms; some fitting their flints to their pistols, +others, and the major part of them, sharpening their cutlasses at the +grindstone, or with a file borrowed from the armourer,--all were busy +and all merry. The very idea of going into action is a source of joy to +an English sailor, and more jokes are made, more merriment excited, at +that time than at any other. Then, as it often happens that one or two +of the service boats' crews may be on the sick list, urgent +solicitations are made by others that they may supply their places. The +only parties who appear at all grave are those who are to remain in the +frigate, and not share in the expedition. There is no occasion to order +the boats to be manned, for the men are generally in long before they +are piped away. Indeed, one would think that it was a party of pleasure, +instead of danger and of death, upon which they were about to proceed. + +Captain Kearney selected the officers who were to have the charge of the +boats. He would not trust any of the midshipmen on so dangerous a +service. He said that he had known so many occasions in which their +rashness and foolhardiness had spoilt an expedition; he therefore +appointed Mr Phillott, the first lieutenant, to the launch; O'Brien to +the yawl; the master to the first, and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to the +second cutter. Mr Chucks was much pleased with the idea of having the +command of a boat, and asked me to come with him, to which I consented, +although I had intended, as usual, to have gone with O'Brien. + +About an hour before daylight we ran the frigate to within a mile and a +half of the shore, and the boats shoved off; the frigate then wore +round, and stood out in the offing, that she might at daylight be at +such a distance as not to excite any suspicion that our boats were sent +away, while we in the boats pulled quietly in-shore. We were not a +quarter of an hour before we arrived at the cape forming one side of the +bay, and were well secreted among the cluster of rocks which were +underneath. Our oars were laid in; the boats' painters made fast; and +orders given for the strictest silence. The rocks were very high, and +the boats were not to be seen without any one should come to the edge of +the precipice; and even then they would, in all probability, have been +supposed to have been rocks. The water was as smooth as glass, and when +it was broad daylight, the men hung listlessly over the sides of the +boats, looking at the corals below, and watching the fish as they glided +between. + +"I can't say, Mr Simple," said Mr Chucks to me in an under tone, "that I +think well of this expedition; and I have an idea that some of us will +lose the number of our mess. After a calm comes a storm; and how quiet +is everything now! But I'll take off my great coat, for the sun is hot +already. Coxswain, give me my jacket." + +Mr Chucks had put on his great coat, but not his jacket underneath, +which he had left on one of the guns on the main deck, all ready to +change as soon as the heavy dew had gone off. The coxswain handed him +the jacket, and Mr Chucks threw off his great coat to put it on; but +when it was opened it proved, that by mistake he had taken away the +jacket, surmounted by two small epaulettes, belonging to Captain +Kearney, which the captain's steward, who had taken it out to brush, had +also laid upon the same gun. + +"By all the nobility of England!" cried Mr Chucks, "I have taken away +the captain's jacket by mistake. Here's a pretty mess! if I put on my +great coat I shall be dead with sweating; if I put on no jacket I shall +be roasted brown; but if I put on the captain's jacket I shall be +considered disrespectful." + +The men in the boats tittered; and Mr Phillott, who was in the launch +next to us, turned round to see what was the matter; O'Brien was sitting +in the stern-sheets of the launch with the first lieutenant, and I +leaned over and told them. + +"By the powers! I don't see why the captain's jacket will be at all hurt +by Mr Chucks putting it on," replied O'Brien; "unless, indeed, a bullet +were to go through it, and then it won't be any fault of Mr Chucks." + +"No," replied the first lieutenant; "and if one did, the captain might +keep the jacket, and swear that the bullet went round his body without +wounding him. He'll have a good yarn to spin. So put it on, Mr Chucks; +you'll make a good mark for the enemy." + +"That I will stand the risk of with pleasure," observed the boatswain to +me, "for the sake of being considered a gentleman. So here's on with +it." + +There was a general laugh when Mr Chucks pulled on the captain's jacket, +and sank down in the stern-sheets of the cutter, with great complacency +of countenance. One of the men in the boat that we were in thought +proper, however, to continue his laugh a little longer than Mr Chucks +considered necessary, who, leaning forward, thus addressed him: "I say, +Mr Webber, I beg leave to observe to you, in the most delicate manner in +the world--just to hint to you--that it is not the custom to laugh at +your superior officer. I mean just to insinuate, that you are a d----d +impudent son of a sea cook; and if we both live and do well, I will +prove to you, that if I am to be laughed at in a boat with the captain's +jacket on, that I am not to be laughed at on board the frigate with the +boatswain's rattan in my fist; and so look out, my hearty, for squalls, +when you come on the forecastle; for I'll be d----d if I don't make you +see more stars than God Almighty ever made, and cut more capers than all +the dancing-masters in France. Mark my words, you burgoo-eating, +pea-soup-swilling, trowsers-scrubbing son of a bitch." + +Mr Chucks, having at the end of this oration raised his voice above the +pitch required by the exigency of the service, was called to order by +the first lieutenant, and again sank back into the stern-sheets with all +the importance and authoritative show peculiarly appertaining to a pair +of epaulettes. + +We waited behind the rocks until noonday, without being discovered by +the enemy; so well were we concealed. We had already sent an officer, +who, carefully hiding himself by lying down on the rocks, had several +times reconnoitred the enemy. Boats were passing and repassing +continually from the privateer to the shore; and it appeared that they +went on shore full of men, and returned with only one or two; so that we +were in great hopes that we should find but few men to defend the +vessel. Mr Phillott looked at his watch, held it up to O'Brien, to prove +that he had complied exactly with the orders he had received from the +captain, and then gave the word to get the boats under weigh. The +painters were cast off by the bowmen, the guns were loaded and primed, +the men seized their oars, and in two minutes we were clear of the +rocks, and drawn up in a line within a quarter of a mile from the +harbour's mouth, and not half a mile from the privateer brig. We rowed +as quickly as possible, but we did not cheer until the enemy fired the +first gun; which he did from a quarter unexpected, as we entered the +mouth of the harbour, with our union jack trailing in the water over our +stern, for it was a dead calm. It appeared, that at the low point under +the cliffs, at each side of the little bay, they had raised a water +battery of two guns each. One of these guns, laden with grape shot, was +now fired at the boats, but the elevation was too low, and although the +water was ploughed up to within five yards of the launch, no injury was +received. We were equally fortunate in the discharge of the other three +guns; two of which we passed so quickly, that they were not aimed +sufficiently forward, so that their shot fell astern; and the other, +although the shot fell among us, did no further injury than cutting in +half two of the oars of the first cutter. + +In the meantime, we had observed that the boats had shoved off from the +privateer as soon as they had perceived us, and had returned to her +laden with men; the boats had been despatched a second time, but had not +yet returned. They were now about the same distance from the privateer +as were our boats, and it was quite undecided which of us would be first +on board. O'Brien perceiving this, painted out to Mr Phillott that we +should first attack the boats, and afterwards board on the side to which +they pulled; as, in all probability, there would be an opening left in +the boarding nettings, which were tied up to the yard-arms, and +presented a formidable obstacle to our success. Mr Phillott agreed with +O'Brien: he ordered the bowmen to lay in their oars and keep the guns +pointed ready to fire at the word given, and desiring the other men to +pull their best. Every nerve, every muscle was brought into play by our +anxious and intrepid seamen. When within about twenty yards of the +vessel, and also of the boats, the orders were given to fire--the +carronade of the launch poured out round and grape so well directed, +that one of the French boats sunk immediately; and the musket balls with +which our other smaller guns were loaded, did great execution among +their men. In one minute more, with three cheers from our sailors, we +were all alongside together, English and French boats pell-mell, and a +most determined close conflict took place. The French fought +desperately, and as they were overpowered, they were reinforced by those +from the privateer, who could not look on and behold their companions +requiring their assistance, without coming to their aid. Some jumped +down into our boats from the chains, into the midst of our men; others +darted cold shot at us, either to kill us or to sink our boats; and thus +did one of the most desperate hand-to-hand conflicts take place that +ever was witnessed. But it was soon decided in our favour, for we were +the stronger party and the better armed; and when all opposition was +over, we jumped into the privateer, and found not a man left on board, +only a large dog, who flew at O'Brien's throat as he entered the port. + +"Don't kill him," said O'Brien, as the sailors hastened to his +assistance; "only take away his gripe." + +The sailors disengaged the dog, and O'Brien led him up to a gun, saying, +"By Jasus, my boy, you are my prisoner." + +But although we had possession of the privateer, our difficulties, as it +will prove, were by no means over. We were now exposed not only to the +fire of the two batteries at the harbour-mouth which we had to pass, but +also to that of the battery at the bottom of the bay, which had fired at +the frigate. In the meantime, we were very busy in cutting the cable, +lowering the topsails, and taking the wounded men on board the +privateer, from out of the boats. All this was, however, but the work of +a few minutes. Most of the Frenchmen were killed; our own wounded +amounted to only nine seamen and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was shot +through the body, apparently with little chance of surviving. As Mr +Phillott observed, the captain's epaulettes had made him a mark for the +enemy, and he had fallen in his borrowed plumes. + +As soon as they were all on board, and laid on the deck--for there were, +as near as I can recollect, about fourteen wounded Frenchmen as well as +our own--tow-ropes were got out forwards, the boats were manned, and we +proceeded to tow the brig out of the harbour. + +It was a dead calm, and we made but little way, but our boat's crew, +flushed with victory, cheered, and rallied, and pulled with all their +strength. The enemy perceiving that the privateer was taken, and the +French boats drifting empty up the harbour, now opened their fire upon +us, and with great effect. Before we had towed abreast of the two water +batteries, we had received three-shots between wind and water from the +other batteries, and the sea was pouring fast into the vessel. I had +been attending to poor Mr Chucks, who lay on the starboard side, near +the wheel, the blood flowing from his wound, and tracing its course down +the planks of the deck, to a distance of some feet from where he lay. He +appeared very faint, and I tied my handkerchief round his body, so as to +stop the effusion of blood, and brought him some water, with which I +bathed his face, and poured some into his mouth. He opened his eyes +wide, and looked at me. + +"Ah, Mr Simple," said he, faintly, "is it you? It's all over with me; +but it could not be better--could it?" + +"How do you mean?" inquired I. + +"Why, have I not fallen dressed like an officer and a gentleman?" said +he, referring to the captain's jacket and epaulettes. "I'd sooner die +now with this dress on, than recover to put on the boatswain's uniform. +I feel quite happy." + +He pressed my hand, and then closed his eyes again, from weakness. We +were now nearly abreast of the two batteries on the points, the guns of +which had been trained so as to bear upon our boats that were towing out +the brig. The first shot went through the bottom of the launch, and sank +her; fortunately, all the men were saved; but as she was the boat that +towed next to the brig, great delay occurred in getting the others clear +of her, and taking the brig again in tow. The shot now poured in thick, +and the grape became very annoying. Still our men gave way, cheering at +every shot fired, and we had nearly passed the batteries, with trifling +loss, when we perceived that the brig was so full of water that she +could not swim many minutes longer, and that it would be impossible to +tow her alongside of the frigate. Mr Phillott, under these +circumstances, decided that it would be useless to risk more lives, and +that the wounded should be taken out of the brig, and the boats should +pull away for the ship. He desired me to get the wounded men into the +cutter, which he sent alongside, and then to follow the other boats. I +made all the haste I could, not wishing to be left behind; and as soon +as all our wounded men were in the boats, I went to Mr Chucks, to remove +him. He appeared somewhat revived, but would not allow us to remove him. + +"My dear Mr Simple," said he, "it is of no use; I never can recover it, +and I prefer dying here. I entreat you not to move me. If the enemy take +possession of the brig before she sinks, I shall be buried with military +honours; if they do not, I shall at least die in the dress of a +gentleman. Hasten away as fast as you can, before you lose more men. +Here I stay--that's decided." + +I expostulated with him, but at that time two boats full of men +appeared, pulling out of the harbour to the brig. The enemy had +perceived that our boats had deserted her, and were coming to take +possession. I had therefore no time to urge Mr Chucks to change his +resolution, and not wishing to force a dying man, I shook his hand and +left him. It was with some difficulty I escaped, for the boats had come +up close to the brig; they chased me a little while, but the yawl and +the cutter turning back to my assistance, they gave up the pursuit. On +the whole, this was a very well arranged and well conducted expedition. +The only man lost was Mr Chucks, for the wounds of the others were none +of them mortal. Captain Kearney was quite satisfied with our conduct, +and so was the admiral, when it was reported to him. Captain Kearney did +indeed grumble a little about his jacket, and sent for me to inquire why +I had not taken it off Mr Chucks, and brought it on board. As I did not +choose to tell him the exact truth, I replied, "That I could not disturb +a dying man, and that the jacket was so saturated with blood, that he +never could have worn it again," which was the case. + +"At all events, you might have brought away my epaulettes," replied he; +"but you youngsters think of nothing but gormandizing." + +I had the first watch that night, when Swinburne, the quarter-master, +came up to me, and asked me all the particulars of the affair, for he +was not in the boats. "Well," said he, "that Mr Chucks appeared to be a +very good boatswain in his way, if he could only have kept his rattan a +little quiet. He was a smart fellow, and knew his duty. We had just such +another killed in our ship, in the action off Cape St Vincent." + +"What! were you in that action?" replied I. + +"Yes, I was, and belonged to the _Captain_, Lord Nelson's ship." + +"Well, then, suppose you tell me all about it." + +"Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, I've no objection to spin you a yarn, now and +then," replied Swinburne, "but, as Mr Chucks used to say, allow me to +observe, in the most delicate manner in the world, that I perceive that +the man who has charge of your hammock, and slings you a clean one now +and then, has very often a good glass of grog for his _yarns_, and I do +not see but that mine are as well worth a glass of grog as his." + +"So they are, Swinburne, and better too, and I promise you a good stiff +one to-morrow evening." + +"That will do, sir: now then, I'll tell you all about it, and more about +it too than most can, for I know how the action was brought about." + +I have the log, marked the board, and then sat down abaft on the signal +chest with Swinburne, who commenced his narrative as follows:-- + +"You must know, Mr Simple, that when the English fleet came down the +Mediterranean, after the 'vackyation of Corsica, they did not muster +more than seventeen sail of the line, while the Spanish fleet from +Ferrol and Carthagena had joined company at Cadiz, and 'mounted to near +thirty. Sir John Jervis had the command of our fleet at the time, but as +the Dons did not seem at all inclined to come out and have a brush with +us, almost two to one, Sir John left Sir Hyde Parker, with six sail of +the line, to watch the Spanish beggars, while he went in to Lisbon with +the remainder of the fleet, to water and refit. Now, you see, Mr Simple, +Portugal was at that time what they calls neutral, that is to say, she +didn't meddle at all in the affair, being friends with both parties, and +just as willing to supply fresh beef and water to the Spaniards as to +the English, if so be the Spaniards had come out to ax for it, which +they dar'n't. The Portuguese and the English have always been the best +of friends, because we can't get no port wine anywhere else, and they +can't get nobody else to buy it of them; so the Portuguese gave up their +arsenal at Lisbon, for the use of the English, and there we kept all our +stores, under the charge of that old dare-devil, Sir Isaac Coffin. Now +it so happened, that one of the clerks in old Sir Isaac's _office_, a +Portuguese chap, had been some time before that in the office of the +Spanish ambassador; he was a very smart sort of a chap, and sarved as +interpreter, and the old commissioner put great faith in him." + +"But how did you learn all this, Swinburne?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple. I steered the yawl as coxswain, and when +admirals and captains talk in the stern-sheets, they very often forget +that the coxswain is close behind them. I only learnt half of it that +way; the rest I put together when I compared logs with the admiral's +steward, who, of course, heard a great deal now and then. The first I +heard of it was when old Sir John called out to Sir Isaac, after the +second bottle, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who killed the Spanish messenger?' +'Not I, by God!' replied Sir Isaac; 'I only left him for dead;' and then +they both laughed, and so did Nelson, who was sitting with them. Well, +Mr Simple, it was reported to Sir Isaac that his clerk was often seen +taking memorandums of the different orders given to the fleet, +particularly those as to there being no wasteful expenditure of his +Majesty's stores. Upon which, Sir Isaac goes to the admiral, and +requests that the man might be discharged. Now, old Sir John was a sly +old fox, and he answered, 'Not so, commissioner; perhaps we may catch +them in their own trap.' So the admiral sits down, and calls for pen and +ink, and he flourishes out a long letter to the commissioner, stating +that all the stores of the fleet were expended, representing as how it +would be impossible to go to sea without a supply, and wishing to know +when the commissioner expected more transports from England. He also +said that if the Spanish fleet were now to come out from Cadiz, it would +be impossible for him to protect Sir H. Parker with his six sail of the +line, who was watching the Spanish fleet, as he could not quit the port +in his present condition. To this letter the commissioner answered that, +from the last accounts, he thought that in the course of six weeks or +two months they might receive supplies from England, but that sooner +than that was impossible. These letters were put in the way of the +d----d Portuguese spy-clerk, who copied them, and was seen that evening +to go into the house of the Spanish ambassador. Sir John then sent a +message to Ferro--that's a small town on the Portuguese coast to the +southward--with a despatch to Sir Hyde Parker, desiring him to run away +to Cape St Vincent, and decoy the Spanish fleet there, in case they +should come out after him. Well, Mr Simple, so far d'ye see the train +was well laid. The next thing to do was to watch the Spanish +ambassador's house, and see if he sent away any despatches. Two days +after the letters had been taken to him by this rascal of a clerk, the +Spanish ambassador sent away two messengers--one for Cadiz and the other +for Madrid, which is the town where the King of Spain lives. The one to +Cadiz was permitted to go, but the one to Madrid was stopped by the +directions of the admiral, and this job was confided to the +commissioner, Sir Isaac, who settled it somehow or another; and this was +the reason why the admiral called out to him, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who +killed the messenger?' They brought back his despatches, by which they +found out that advice had been sent to the Spanish admiral--I forget his +name, something like _Magazine_--informing him of the supposed crippled +state of our squadron. Sir John, taking it for granted that the +Spaniards would not lose an opportunity of taking six sail of the line-- +more English ships than they have ever taken in their lives--waited a +few days to give them time, and then sailed from Lisbon for Cape St +Vincent, where he joined Sir Hyde Parker, and fell in with the Spaniards +sure enough, and a pretty drubbing we gave them. Now, it's not everybody +that could tell you all that, Mr Simple." + +"Well, but now for the action, Swinburne." + +"Lord bless you, Mr Simple! it's now past seven bells, and I can't fight +the battle of St Vincent in half an hour; besides which, it's well worth +another glass of grog to hear all about that battle." + +"Well, you shall have one, Swinburne; only don't forget to tell it to +me." + +Swinburne and I then separated, and in less than an hour afterwards I +was dreaming of despatches--Sir John Jervis--Sir Isaac Coffin--and +Spanish messengers. + + + + +Chapter XXXIV + +O'Brien's good advice--Captain Kearney again deals in the marvellous. + + +I do not remember any circumstance in my life which, at that time, lay +so heavily on my mind as the loss of poor Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who, +of course, I took it for granted I should never see again. I believe +that the chief cause was that at the time I entered the service, and +every one considered me to be the fool of the family, Mr Chucks and +O'Brien were the only two who thought of and treated me differently; and +it was their conduct which induced me to apply myself and encouraged me +to exertion. I believe that many a boy, who, if properly patronized, +would turn out well, is, by the injudicious system of browbeating and +ridicule, forced into the wrong path, and, in his despair, throws away +all self-confidence, and allows himself to be carried away by the stream +to perdition. O'Brien was not very partial to reading himself. He played +the German flute remarkably well, and had a very good voice. His chief +amusement was practising, or rather playing, which is a very different +thing; but although he did not study himself, he always made me come +into his cabin for an hour or two every day, and, after I had read, +repeat to him the contents of the book. By this method he not only +instructed me, but gained a great deal of information himself; for he +made so many remarks upon what I had read, that it was impressed upon +both our memories. + +"Well, Peter," he would say, as he came into the cabin, "what have you +to tell me this morning? Sure it's you that's the schoolmaster, and not +me--for I learn from you every day." + +"I have not read much, O'Brien, to-day, for I have been thinking of poor +Mr Chucks." + +"Very right for you so to do, Peter. Never forget your friends in a +hurry. You'll not find too many of them as you trot along the highway of +life." + +"I wonder whether he is dead?" + +"Why, that's a question I cannot answer. A bullet through the chest +don't lengthen a man's days, that's certain; but this I know, that he'll +not die if he can help it, now that he's got the captain's jacket on." + +"Yes; he always aspired to be a gentleman, which was absurd enough in a +boatswain." + +"Not at all absurd, Peter, but very absurd of you to talk without +thinking. When did any one of his shipmates ever know Mr Chucks to do an +unhandsome or mean action? Never; and why? Because he aspired to be a +gentleman, and that feeling kept him above it. Vanity's a confounded +donkey, very apt to put his head between his legs, and chuck us over; +but pride's a fine horse, who will carry us over the ground, and enable +us to distance our fellow-travellers. Mr Chucks has pride, and that's +always commendable, even in a boatswain. How often have you read of +people rising from nothing, and becoming great men? This was from +talent, sure enough; but it was talent with pride to force it onward, +not talent with vanity to check it." + +"You are very right, O'Brien; I spoke foolishly." + +"Never mind, Peter, nobody heard you but me; so it's of no consequence. +Don't you dine in the cabin to-day?" + +"Yes." + +"So do I. The captain is in a most marvellous humour this morning. He +told me one or two yarns that quite staggered my politeness and my +respect for him on the quarter-deck. What a pity it is that a man should +have gained such a bad habit!" + +"He's quite incurable, I'm afraid," replied I; "but, certainly, his fibs +do no harm; they are what they call white lies. I do not think he would +really tell a lie--that is, a lie which would be considered to disgrace +a gentleman." + +"Peter, _all_ lies disgrace a gentleman, white or black, although I +grant there is a difference. To say the least of it, it is a dangerous +habit; for white lies are but the gentlemen ushers to black ones. I know +but of one point on which a lie is excusable, and that is, when you wish +to deceive the enemy. Then your duty to your country warrants your lying +till you're black in the face; and, for the very reason that it goes +against your grain, it becomes, as it were, a sort of virtue." + +"What was the difference between the marine officer and Mr Phillott that +occurred this morning?" + +"Nothing at all in itself. The marine officer is a bit of a gaby, and +takes offence where none is meant. Mr Phillott has a foul tongue; but he +has a good heart." + +"What a pity it is!" + +"It is a pity, for he's a smart officer; but the fact is, Peter, that +junior officers are too apt to copy their superiors, and that makes it +very important that a young gentleman should sail with a captain who is +a gentleman. Now, Phillott served the best of his time with Captain +Ballover, who is notorious in the service for foul and abusive language. +What is the consequence? That Phillott and many others who have served +under him have learnt his bad habit." + +"I should think, O'Brien, that the very circumstance of having had your +feelings so often wounded by such language when you were a junior +officer, would make you doubly careful not to make use of it to others, +when you had advanced in the service." + +"Peter, that's just the _first_ feeling, which wears away after a time; +but at last, your own sense of indignation becomes blunted, and becoming +indifferent to it, you forget also that you wound the feelings of +others, and carry the habit with you, to the great injury and disgrace +of the service. But it's time to dress for dinner, so you'd better make +yourself scarce, Peter, while I tidivate myself off a little, according +to the rules and regulations of His Majesty's service, when you are +asked to dine with the skipper." + +We met at the captain's table, where we found, as usual, a great display +of plate, but very little else, except the ship's allowance. We +certainly had now been cruising some time, and there was some excuse for +it; but still, few captains would have been so unprovided. "I'm afraid, +gentlemen, you will not have a very grand dinner," observed the captain, +as the steward removed the plated covers of the dishes; "but when on +service we must rough it out how we can. Mr O'Brien, pea-soup? I +recollect faring harder than this through one cruise in a flush vessel. +We were thirteen weeks up to our knees in water, and living the whole +time upon raw pork--not being able to light a fire during the cruise." + +"Pray, Captain Kearney, may I ask where this happened?" + +"To be sure. It was off Bermudas: we cruised for seven weeks before we +could find the Islands, and began verily to think that the Bermudas were +themselves on a cruise." + +"I presume, sir, you were not so sorry to have a fire to cook your +provisions when you came to an anchor?" said O'Brien. + +"I beg your pardon," replied Captain Kearney; "we had become so +accustomed to raw provisions and wet feet, that we could not eat our +meals cooked, or help dipping our legs over the side, for a long while +afterwards. I saw one of the boat-keepers astern catch a large +barracouta and eat it alive--indeed, if I had not given the strictest +orders, and flogged half-a-dozen of them, I doubt whether they would not +have eaten their victuals raw to this day. The force of habit is +tremendous." + +"It is, indeed," observed Mr Phillott, drily, and winking to us, +referring to the captain's incredible stories. + +"It is, indeed," repeated O'Brien; "we see the ditch in our neighbour's +eye, and cannot observe the log of wood in our own;" and O'Brien winked +at me, referring to Phillott's habit of bad language. + +"I once knew a married man," observed the captain, "who had been always +accustomed to go to sleep with his hand upon his wife's head, and would +not allow her to wear a nightcap in consequence. Well, she caught cold +and died, and he never could sleep at night until he took a +clothes-brush to bed with him, and laid his hand upon that, which +answered the purpose--such was the force of habit." + +"I once saw a dead body galvanized," observed Mr Phillott: "it was the +body of a man who had taken a great deal of snuff during his lifetime, +and as soon as the battery was applied to his spine, the body very +gently raised its arm, and put its fingers to its nose, as if it was +taking a pinch." + +"You saw that yourself, Mr Phillott?" observed the captain, looking at +the first lieutenant earnestly in the face. + +"Yes, sir," replied Mr Phillott, coolly. + +"Have you told that story often?" + +"Very often, sir." + +"Because I know that some people, by constantly telling a story, at last +believe it to be true; not that I refer to you, Mr Phillott; but still, +I should recommend you not to tell that story where you are not well +known, or people may doubt your credibility." + +"I make it a rule to believe everything myself," observed Mr Phillott, +"out of politeness, and I expect the same courtesy from others." + +"Then, upon my soul! when you tell that story, you trespass very much +upon our good manners. Talking of courtesy, you must meet a friend of +mine, who has been a courtier all his life; he cannot help bowing, I +have seen him bow to his horse and thank him after he had dismounted-- +beg pardon of a puppy for treading on his tail; and one day, when he +fell over a scraper, he took his hat off, and made it a thousand +apologies for his inattention." + +"Force of habit again," said O'Brien. + +"Exactly so. Mr Simple, will you take a slice of this pork? and perhaps +you'll do me the honour to take a glass of wine? Lord Privilege would +not much admire our dinner to-day, would he, Mr Simple?" + +"As a variety he might, sir, but not for a continuance." + +"Very truly said. Variety is charming. The negroes here get so tired of +salt fish and occra broth, that they eat dirt by way of a relish. Mr +O'Brien, how remarkably well you played that sonata of Pleydel's this +morning." + +"I am happy that I did not annoy you, Captain Kearney, at all events," +replied O'Brien. + +"On the contrary, I am very partial to good music. My mother was a great +performer. I recollect once, she was performing a piece on the piano in +which she had to imitate a _thunderstorm_. So admirably did she hit it +off, that when we went to tea all the cream was _turned sour_, as well +as three casks of _beer_ in the cellar." + +At this assertion Mr Phillott could contain himself no longer; he burst +out into a loud laugh, and having a glass of wine to his lips, spattered +it all over the table, and over me, who unfortunately was opposite to +him. + +"I really beg pardon, Captain Kearney, but the idea of such an expensive +talent was too amusing. Will you permit me to ask you a question? As +there could not have been thunder without lightning, were any people +killed at the same time by the electric fluid of the piano?" + +"No sir," replied Captain Kearney, very angrily; "but her performance +_electrified_ us, which was something like it. Perhaps, Mr Phillott, as +you lost your last glass of wine, you will allow me to take another with +you?" + +"With great pleasure," replied the first lieutenant, who perceived that +he had gone far enough. + +"Well, gentlemen," said the captain, "we shall soon be in the land of +plenty. I shall cruise a fortnight more, and then join the admiral at +Jamaica. We must make out our despatch relative to the cutting out of +the _Sylvia_ (that was the name of the privateer brig), and I am happy +to say that I shall feel it my duty to make honourable mention of all +the party present. Steward, coffee." + +The first lieutenant, O'Brien, and I, bowed to this flattering avowal on +the part of the captain; as for me, I felt delighted. The idea of my +name being mentioned in the "Gazette," and the pleasure that it would +give to my father and mother, mantled the blood in my cheeks till I was +as red as a turkey-cock. + +"_Cousin_ Simple," said the captain, good-naturedly, "you have no +occasion to blush; your conduct deserves it; and you are indebted to Mr +Phillott for having made me acquainted with your gallantry." + +Coffee was soon over, and I was glad to leave the cabin, and be alone, +that I might compose my perturbed mind. I felt too happy. I did not, +however, say a word to my messmates, as it might have created feelings +of envy or ill-will. O'Brien gave me a caution not to do so, when I met +him afterwards, so that I was very glad that I had been so circumspect. + + + + +Chapter XXXV + +Swinburne continues his narrative of the battle off Cape St Vincent. + + +The second night after this, we had the middle watch, and I claimed +Swinburne's promise that he would spin his yarn, relative to the battle +of St Vincent. "Well, Mr Simple, so I will; but I require a little +priming, or I shall never go off." + +"Will you have your glass of grog before or after?" + +"Before, by all means, if you please, sir. Run down and get it, and I'll +heave the log for you in the meantime, when we shall have a good hour +without interruption, for the sea-breeze will be steady, and we are +under easy sail." I brought up a stiff glass of grog, which Swinburne +tossed off, and as he finished it, sighed deeply as if in sorrow that +there was no more. Having stowed away the tumbler in one of the capstern +holes for the present, we sat down upon a coil of ropes under the +weather bulwarks, and Swinburne, replacing his quid of tobacco, +commenced as follows-- + +"Well, Mr Simple, as I told you before, old Jervis started with all his +fleet for Cape St Vincent. We lost one of our fleet--and a three-decker +too--the _St George_; she took the ground, and was obliged to go back to +Lisbon; but we soon afterwards were joined by five sail of the line, +sent out from England, so that we mustered fifteen sail in all. We had +like to lose another of our mess, for d'ye see, the old _Culloden_ and +_Colossus_ fell foul of each other, and the _Culloden_ had the worst on +it; but Troubridge, who commanded her, was not a man to shy his work, +and ax to go in to refit, when there was a chance of meeting the enemy-- +so he patched her up somehow or another, and reported himself ready for +action the very next day. Ready for action he always was, that's sure +enough, but whether his ship was in a fit state to go into action is +quite another thing. But as the sailors used to say in joking, he was a +_true bridge_, and you might trust to him; which meant as much as to +say, that he knew how to take his ship into action, and how to fight her +when he was fairly in it. I think it was the next day that Cockburn +joined us in the _Minerve_, and he brought Nelson along with him with +the intelligence that the Dons had chased him, and that the whole +Spanish fleet was out in pursuit of us. Well, Mr Simple, you may guess +we were not a little happy in the _Captain_, when Nelson joined us, as +we knew that if he fell in with the Spaniards our ship would cut a +figure--and so she did sure enough. That was on the morning of the 13th, +and old Jervis made the signal to prepare for action, and keep close +order, which means, to have your flying jib-boom in at the starn windows +of the ship ahead of you; and we did keep close order, for a man might +have walked right round from one ship to the other, either lee or +weather line of the fleet. I sha'n't forget that night, Mr Simple, as +long as I live and breathe. Every now and then we heard the signal guns +of the Spanish fleet booming at a distance to windward of us, and you +may guess how our hearts leaped at the sound, and how we watched with +all our ears for the next gun that was fired, trying to make out their +bearings and distance, as we assembled in little knots upon the booms +and weather-gangway. It was my middle watch, and I was signalman at the +time, so of course I had no time to take a caulk if I was inclined. When +my watch was over I could not go down to my hammock, so I kept the +morning watch too, as did most of the men on board: as for Nelson, he +walked the deck the whole night, quite in a fever. At daylight it was +thick and hazy weather, and we could not make them out; but, about five +bells, the old _Culloden_, who, if she had broke her nose, had not lost +the use of her eyes, made the signal for a part of the Spanish fleet in +sight. Old Jervis repeated the signal to prepare for action, but he +might have saved the wear and tear of the bunting, for we were all +ready, bulk-heads down, screens up, guns shotted, tackles rove, yards +slung, powder filled, shot on deck, and fire out--and what's more, Mr +Simple, I'll be d----d if we weren't all willing too. About six bells +in the forenoon, the fog and haze all cleared away at once, just like +the raising of the foresail that they lower down at the Portsmouth +theatre, and discovered the whole of the Spanish fleet. I counted them +all. 'How many, Swinburne?' cries Nelson. 'Twenty-six sail, sir,' +answered I. Nelson walked the quarter-deck backwards and forwards, +rubbing his hands, and laughing to himself, and then he called for his +glass, and went to the gangway with Captain Miller. 'Swinburne, keep a +good look upon the admiral,' says he. 'Ay, ay, sir,' says I. Now you +see, Mr Simple, twenty-six sail against fifteen were great odds upon +paper; but we didn't think so, because we know'd the difference between +the two fleets. There was our fifteen sail of the line, all in apple-pie +order, packed up as close as dominoes, and every man on board of them +longing to come to the scratch; while there was their twenty-six, all +_somehow nohow_, two lines here and _no lines_ there, with a great gap +of water in the middle of them. For this gap between their ships we all +steered, with all the sail we could carry because, d'ye see, Mr Simple, +by getting them on both sides of us, we had the advantage of fighting +both broadsides, which is just as easy as fighting one, and makes +shorter work of it. Just as it struck seven bells, Troubridge opened the +ball _setting_ to half a dozen of the Spaniards, and making them _reel_ +'Tom Collins' whether or no. Bang--bang--bang, bang! Oh, Mr Simple, it's +a beautiful sight to see the first guns fired that are to bring on a +general action. He's the luckiest dog, that Troubridge,' said Nelson, +stamping with impatience. Our ships were soon hard at it, hammer and +tongs (my eyes, how they did pelt it in!), and old Sir John, in the +_Victory_, smashed the cabin windows of the Spanish admiral, with such a +hell of a raking broadside, that the fellow bore up as if the devil +kicked him. Lord a mercy, you might have drove a Portsmouth waggon into +his starn--the broadside of the _Victory_ had made room enough. However, +they were soon all smothered up in smoke, and we could not make out how +things were going on--but we made a pretty good guess. Well, Mr Simple, +as they say at the play, that was act the first, scene the first; and +now we had to make our appearance, and I'll leave you to judge, after +I've told my tale, whether the old _Captain_ wasn't principal performer, +and _top sawyer_ over them all. But stop a moment, I'll just look at the +binnacle, for that young topman's nodding at the wheel.--I say, Mr +Smith, are you shutting your eyes to keep them warm, and letting the +ship run half a point out of her course? Take care I don't send for +another helmsman, that's all, and give the reason why. You'll make a wry +face upon six-water grog to-morrow, at seven bells. D----n your eyes, +keep them open--can't you?" + +Swinburne, after this genteel admonition to the man at the wheel, +reseated himself and continued his narrative. + +"All this while, Mr Simple, we in the _Captain_ had not fired a gun; but +were ranging up as fast as we could to where the enemy lay in a heap. +There were plenty to pick and choose from; and Nelson looked out sharp +for a big one, as little boys do when they have to choose an apple; and, +by the piper that played before Moses! it was a big one that he ordered +the master to put him alongside of. She was a four-decker, called the +_Santissima Trinidad_. We had to pass some whoppers, which would have +satisfied any reasonable man; for there was the _San Josef_, and +_Salvador del Mondo_ and _San Nicolas_: but nothing would suit Nelson +but this four-decked ship; so we crossed the hawse of about six of them, +and as soon as we were abreast of her, and at the word 'Fire!' every gun +went off at once, slap into her, and the old _Captain_ reeled at the +discharge, as if she was drunk. I wish you'd only seen how we pitched it +into this _Holy Trinity_; she was _holy_ enough before we had done with +her, riddled like a sieve, several of her ports knocked into one, and +every scupper of her running blood and water. Not but what she stood to +it as bold as brass, and gave us nearly gun for gun, and made a very +pretty general average in our ship's company. Many of the old captains +went to kingdom-come in that business, and many more were obliged to +bear up for Greenwich Hospital. + +"'Fire away, my lads--steady aim!' cries Nelson. 'Jump down there, Mr +Thomas; pass the word to reduce the cartridges, the shot go clean +through her. Double shot the guns there, fore and aft.' + +"So we were at it for about half an hour, when our guns became so hot +from quick firing, that they bounced up to the beams overhead, tearing +away their ringbolts, and snapping their breechings like rope-yarns. By +this time we were almost as much unrigged as if we had been two days +paying off in Portsmouth harbour. The four-decker forged ahead, and +Troubridge, in the jolly old _Culloden_, came between us and two other +Spanish ships, who were playing into us. She was as fresh as a daisy, +and gave them a dose which quite astonished them. They shook their ears, +and fell astern, when the _Blenheim_ laid hold of them, and mauled them +so that they went astern again. But it was out of the frying-pan into, +the fire: for the _Orion, Prince George_, and one or two others, were +coming up, and knocked the very guts out of them. I'll be d----d if +they forget the 14th of April, and sarve them right, too. Wasn't a +four-decker enough for any two-decker, without any more coming on us? +and couldn't the beggars have matched themselves like gentlemen? Well, +Mr Simple, this gave us a minute or two to fetch, our breath, let the +guns cool, and repair damages, and swab the blood from the decks; but we +lost our four-decker, for we could not get near her again." + +"What odd names the Spaniards give to their ships, Swinburne?" + +"Why yes, they do; it would almost appear wicked to belabour the _Holy +Trinity_ as we did. But why they should call a four-decked ship the +_Holy Trinity_, seeing as how there's only three of them, Father, Son, +and Holy Ghost, I can't tell. Bill Saunders said that the fourth deck +was for the Pope, who was as great a personage as the others; but I +can't understand how that can be. Well, Mr Simple, as I was head +signalman, I was perched on the poop, and didn't serve at a gun. I had +to report all I could see, which was not much, the smoke was so thick; +but now and then I could get a peep, as it were through the holes in the +blanket. Of course I was obliged to keep my eye as much as possible upon +the admiral, not to make out his signals, for Commodore Nelson wouldn't +thank me for that; I knew he hated a signal when in action, so I never +took no notice of the bunting, but just watched to see what he was +about. So while we are repairing damages, I'll just tell you what I saw +of the rest of the fleet. As soon as old Jervis had done for the Spanish +admiral, he hauled his wind on the larboard tack, and followed by four +or five other ships, weathered the Spanish line, and joined Collingwood +in the _Excellent_. Then they all dashed through the line; the +_Excellent_ was the leading ship, and she first took the shine out of +the _Salvador del Mondo_, and then left her to be picked up by the other +ships, while she attacked a two-decker, who hauled down her colours--I +forget her name just now. As soon as the _Victory_ ran alongside of the +_Salvador del Mondo_, down went her colours, and _excellent_ reasons had +she for striking her flag. And now, Mr Simple. The old _Captain_ comes +into play again. Having parted company with the four-decker, we had +recommenced action with the _San Nicolas_, a Spanish eighty, and while +we were hard at it, old Collingwood comes up in the _Excellent_. The +_San Nicolas_, knowing that the _Excellent's_ broadside would send her +to old Nick, put her helm up to avoid being raked: in so doing, she fell +foul of the _San Josef_, a Spanish three-decker, and we being all cut to +pieces and unmanageable--all of us indeed reeling about like drunken +men--Nelson ordered his helm a-starboard, and in a jiffy there we were, +all three hugging each other, running in one another's guns, smashing +our chain-plates, and poking our yard-arms through each other's canvas. + +"'All hands to board!' roared Nelson, leaping on the hammocks and waving +his sword. + +"'Hurrah! hurrah!' echoed through the decks, and up flew the men, like +as many angry bees out of a bee-hive. In a moment pikes, tomahawks, +cutlasses, and pistols were seized (for it was quite unexpected, Mr +Simple), and our men poured into the eighty-gun ship, and in two minutes +the decks were cleared and all the Dons pitched below. I joined the +boarders and was on the main deck when Captain Miller came down, and +cried out 'On deck again immediately.' Up we went, and what do you think +it was for, Mr Simple? Why to board a second time; for Nelson having +taken the two-decker, swore that he'd have the three-decker as well. So +away we went again, clambering up her lofty sides how we could, and +dropping down on her decks like hailstones. We all made for the +quarter-deck, beat down every Spanish beggar that showed fight, and in +five minutes more we had hauled down the colours of two of the finest +ships in the Spanish navy. If that wasn't taking the shine out of the +Dons, I should like to know what is. And didn't the old captains cheer +and shake hands, as Commodore Nelson stood on the deck of the _San +Josef_, and received the swords of the Spanish officers! There was +enough of them to go right round the capstern, and plenty to spare. Now, +Mr Simple, what do you think of that for a spree?" + +"Why, Swinburne, I can only say that I wish I had been there." + +"So did every man in the fleet, Mr Simple, I can tell you." + +"But what became of the _Santissima Trinidad_? + +"Upon my word, she behaved one _deck_ better than all the others. She +held out against four of our ships for a long while, and then hauled +down her colours, and no disgrace to her, considering what a precious +hammering she had taken first. But the lee division of the Spanish +weather fleet, if I may so call it, consisting of eleven sail of the +line, came up to her assistance, and surrounded her, so that they got +her off. Our ships were too much cut up to commence a new action, and +the admiral made the signal to secure the prizes. The Spanish fleet then +did what they should have done before--got into line; and we lost no +time in doing the same. But we both had had fighting enough." + +"But do you think, Swinburne, that the Spaniards fought well?" + +"They'd have fought better, if they'd only have known how. There's no +want of courage in the Dons, Mr Simple, but they did not support each +other. Only observe how Troubridge supported us. By God, Mr Simple, he +was the _real fellow_, and Nelson knew it well. He was Nelson's +right-hand man; but you know, there wasn't room for _two_ Nelsons. Their +ships engaged held out well, it must be acknowledged, but why weren't +they all in their proper berths? Had they kept close order of sailing, +and had all fought as well as those who were captured, it would not have +been a very easy matter for fifteen ships to gain a victory over +twenty-six. That's long odds, even when backed with British seamen." + +"Well, how did you separate?" + +"Why, the next morning the Spaniards had the weathergage, so they had +the option whether to fight or not. At one time they had half a mind, +for they bore down to us; upon which we hauled our wind to show them we +were all ready to meet them, and then they thought better of it, and +rounded-to again. So as they wouldn't fight, and we didn't wish it, we +parted company in the night; and two days afterwards we anchored, with +our four prizes, in Lagos Bay. So now you have the whole of it, Mr +Simple, and I've talked till I'm quite hoarse. You haven't by chance +another drop of the stuff left to clear my throat? It would be quite a +charity." + +"I think I have, Swinburne; and as you deserve it, I will go and fetch +it." + + + + +Chapter XXXVI + +A letter from Father M'Grath, who diplomatizes--When priest meets +priest, then comes the tug of war--Father O'Toole not to be made a tool +of. + + +We continued our cruise for a fortnight, and then made sail for Jamaica, +where we found the admiral at anchor at Port Royal, but our signal was +made to keep under weigh, and Captain Kearney, having paid his respects +to the admiral, received orders to carry despatches to Halifax. Water +and provisions were sent on board by the boats of the admiral's ships, +and, to our great disappointment, as the evening closed in, we were +again standing out to sea, instead of, as we had anticipated, enjoying +ourselves on shore; but the fact was, that orders had arrived from +England to send a frigate immediately up to the admiral at Halifax, to +be at his disposal. + +I had, however, the satisfaction to know that Captain Kearney had been +true to his word in making mention of my name in the despatch, for the +clerk showed me a copy of it. Nothing occurred worth mentioning during +our passage, except that Captain Kearney was very unwell nearly the +whole of the time, and seldom quitted his cabin. It was in October that +we anchored in Halifax harbour, and the Admiralty, expecting our arrival +there, had forwarded our letters. There were none for me, but there was +one for O'Brien, from Father M'Grath, the contents of which were as +follows:-- + +"MY DEAR SON,--And a good son you are, and that's the truth on it, or +devil a bit should you be a son of mine. You've made your family quite +contented and peaceable, and they never fight for the _praties_ now-- +good reason why they shouldn't, seeing that there's a plenty for all of +them, and the pig craturs into the bargain. Your father and your mother, +and your brother, and your three sisters, send their duty to you, and +their blessings too--and you may add my blessing, Terence, which is +worth them all; for won't I get you out of purgatory in the twinkling of +a bed-post? Make yourself quite aisy on that score, and lave it all to +me; only just say a _pater_ now and then, that when St Peter lets you +in, he mayn't throw it in your teeth, that you've saved your soul by +contract, which is the only way by which emperors and kings ever get to +heaven. Your letter from Plymouth came safe to hand: Barney, the +post-boy, having dropped it under foot, close to our door, the big pig +took it into his mouth and ran away with it; but I caught sight of him, +and _speaking_ to him, he let it go, knowing (the 'cute cratur!) that I +could read it better than him. As soon as I had digested the contents, +which it was lucky the pig did not instead of me, I just took my meal +and my big stick, and then set off for Ballycleuch. + +"Now you know, Terence, if you haven't forgot--and if you have, I'll +just remind you--that there's a flaunty sort of young woman at the +poteen shop there, who calls herself Mrs O'Rourke, wife to a Corporal +O'Rourke, who was kilt or died one day, I don't know which, but that's +not of much consequence. The devil a bit do I think the priest ever gave +the marriage-blessing to that same; although she swears that she was +married on the rock of Gibraltar--it may be a strong rock fore I know, +but it's not the rock of salvation like the seven sacraments, of which +marriage is one. _Benedicite_! Mrs O'Rourke is a little too apt to fleer +and jeer at the priests; and if it were not that she softens down her +pertinent remarks with a glass or two of the real poteen, which proves +some respect for the church, I'd excommunicate her body and soul, and +every body and every soul that put their lips to the cratur at her door. +But she must leave that off, as I tell her, when she gets old and ugly, +for then all the whisky in the world sha'n't save her. But she's a fine +woman now, and it goes agin my conscience to help the devil to a fine +woman. Now this Mrs O'Rourke knows everybody and everything that's going +on in the country about; and she has a tongue which has never had a +holiday since it was let loose. + +"'Good morning to ye, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I. + +"'An' the top of the morning to you, Father M'Grath,' says she, with a +smile; 'what brings you here? Is it a journey that you're taking to buy +the true wood of the cross? or is it a purty girl that you wish to +confess, Father M'Grath? or is it only that you're come for a drop of +poteen, and a little bit of chat with Mrs O'Rourke?' + +"'Sure it's I who'd be glad to find the same true wood of the cross, Mrs +O'Rourke, but it's not grown, I suspect, at your town of Ballycleuch; +and it's no objection I'd have to confess a purty girl like yourself, +Mrs O'Rourke, who'll only tell me half her sins, and give me no trouble; +but it's the truth, that I'm here for nothing else but to have a bit of +chat with yourself, dainty dear, and taste your poteen, just by way of +keeping my mouth nate and clane.' + +"So Mrs O'Rourke poured out the real stuff, which I drank to her health; +and then says I, putting down the bit of a glass, 'So you've a stranger +come, I find, in your parts, Mrs O'Rourke.' + +"'I've heard the same,' replied she. So you observe, Terence, I came to +the fact all at once by a guess. + +"'I am tould,' says I, 'that he's a Scotchman, and spakes what nobody +can understand.' + +"'Devil a bit,' says she, 'he's an Englishman, and speaks plain enough.' + +"'But what can a man mane, to come here and sit down all alone?' says I. + +"'All alone, Father M'Grath!' replied she; 'is a man all alone when he's +got his wife and childer, and more coming, with the blessing of God?' + +"'But those boys are not his own childer, I believe,' says I. + +"'There again you're all in a mistake, Father M'Grath,' rejoins she. +'The childer are all his own, and all girls to boot. It appears that +it's just as well that you come down, now and then, for information, to +our town of Ballycleuch.' + +"'Very true, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I; 'and who is it that knows everything +so well as yourself?' You observe, Terence, that I just said everything +contrary and _arce versa_, as they call it, to the contents of your +letter; for always recollect, my son, that if you would worm a secret +out of a woman, you'll do more by contradiction than you ever will by +coaxing--so I went on: 'Anyhow, I think it's a burning shame, Mrs +O'Rourke, for a gentleman to bring over with him here from England a +parcel of lazy English servants, when there's so many nice boys and +girls here to attind upon them.' + +"'Now there you're all wrong again, Father M'Grath,' says she. 'Devil a +soul has he brought from the other country, but has hired them all here. +Arn't there Ella Flanagan for one maid, and Terence Driscol for a +footman? and it's well that he looks in his new uniform, when he comes +down for the newspapers; and arn't Moggy Cala there to cook the dinner, +and pretty Mary Sullivan for a nurse for the babby as soon as it comes +into the world?' + +"'Is it Mary Sullivan you mane?' says I; 'she that was married about +three months back, and is so quick in child-getting, that she's all but +ready to fall to pieces in this same time?' + +"'It's exactly she,' says Mrs O'Rourke; 'and do you know the reason?' + +"'Devil a bit,' says I; 'how should I?' + +"'Then it's just that she may send her own child away, and give her milk +to the English babby that's coming; because the lady is too much of a +lady to have a child hanging to her breast.' + +"'But suppose Mary Sullivan's child ar'n't born till afterwards, how +then?" says I. 'Speak, Mrs O'Rourke, for you're a sensible woman.' + +"'How then?' says she. 'Och! that's all arranged; for Mary says that +she'll be in bed a week before the lady, so that's all right, you'll +perceive, Father M'Grath.' + +"'But don't you perceive, sensible woman as you are, that a young woman, +who is so much out of her reckoning as to have a child three months +after her marriage, may make a little mistake in her lying-in +arithmetic, Mrs O'Rourke.' + +"'Never fear, Father M'Grath, Mary Sullivan will keep her word; and +sooner than disappoint the lady, and lose her place, she'll just tumble +down-stairs, and won't that put her to bed fast enough?' + +"'Well, that's what I call a faithful good servant that earns her +wages,' says I; 'so now I'll just take another glass, Mrs O'Rourke, and +thank you too. Sure you're the woman that knows everything, and a mighty +pretty woman into the bargain.' + +"'Let me alone now, Father M'Grath, and don't be pinching me that way, +anyhow.' + +"'It was only a big flea that I perceived hopping on your gown, my +darling, devil anything else.' + +"'Many thanks to you, father, for that same; but the next time you'd +kill my fleas, just wait until they're in a _more dacent_ situation.' + +"'Fleas are fleas, Mrs O'Rourke, and we must catch 'em when we can, and +how we can, and as we can, so no offence. A good night's rest to you, +Mrs O'Rourke--when do you mean to confess?' + +"'I've an idea that I've too many fleas about me to confess to you just +now, Father M'Grath, and that's the truth on it. So a pleasant walk back +to you.' + +"So you'll perceive, my son, that having got all the information from +Mrs O'Rourke, it's back I went to Ballyhinch, till I heard it whispered +that there were doings down at the old house at Ballycleuch. Off I set, +and went to the house itself, as priests always ought to be welcomed at +births, and marriages, and deaths, being, as you know, of great use on +such occasions--when who should open the door but Father O'Toole, the +biggest rapparee of a priest in the whole of Ireland. Didn't he steal a +horse, and only save his neck by benefit of clergy? and did he ever give +absolution to a young woman without making her sin over again? 'What may +be your pleasure here, Father M'Grath?' says he, holding the door with +his hand. + +"'Only just to call and hear what's going on.' + +"'For the matter of that,' says he, 'I'll just tell you that we're all +going on very well; but ar'n't you ashamed of yourself, Father M'Grath, +to come here to interfere with my flock, knowing that I confess the +house altogether?' + +"'That's as may be,' says I; 'but I only wanted to know what the lady +had brought into the world.' + +"'It's a _child_' says he. + +"'Indeed!' says I; 'many thanks for the information; and pray what is it +that Mary Sullivan has brought into the world?' + +"'That's a _child_ too,' says he; 'and now that you know all about it, +good evening to you, Father M'Grath.' And the ugly brute slammed the +door right in my face. + +"'Who stole a horse?' cries I; but he didn't hear me--more's the pity. + +"So you'll perceive, my dear boy, that I have found out something, at +all events, but not so much as I intended; for I'll prove to Father +O'Toole that he's no match for Father M'Grath. But what I find out must +be reserved for another letter, seeing that it's not possible to tell it +to you in this same. Praties look well, but somehow or another, +_clothes_ don't grow upon trees in ould Ireland; and one of your +half-quarterly bills, or a little prize-money, if it found its way here, +would add not a little to the respectability of the family appearance. +Even my cassock is becoming too _holy_ for a parish priest; not that I +care about it so much, only Father O'Toole, the baste! had on a bran new +one--not that I believe that he ever came honestly by it, as I have by +mine--but, get it how you may, a new gown always looks better than an +old one, that's certain. So no more at present from your loving friend +and confessor, + +"URTAGH M'GRATH." + +"Now, you'll observe, Peter," said O'Brien, after I had read the letter, +"that, as I supposed, your uncle meant mischief when he went over to +Ireland. Whether the children are both boys or both girls, or your +uncle's is a boy, and the other is a girl, there is no knowing at +present. If an exchange was required, it's made, that's certain; but I +will write again to Father M'Grath, and insist upon his finding out the +truth, if possible. Have you any letter from your father?" + +"None, I am sorry to say. I wish I had, for he would not have failed to +speak on the subject." + +"Well, never mind, it's no use dreaming over the matter; we must do our +best when we get to England ourselves, and in the meantime trust to +Father M'Grath. I'll go and write to him while my mind's full of it." +O'Brien wrote his letter, and the subject was not started again. + + + + +Chapter XXXVII + +Captain Kearney's illness--He makes his will, and devises sundry +châteaux en Espagne for the benefit of those concerned--The legacy duty +in this instance not ruinous--He signs, seals, and dies. + + +The captain, as was his custom, went on shore, and took up his quarters +at a friend's house; that is to say, the house of an acquaintance, or +any polite gentleman who would ask him to take a dinner and a bed. This +was quite sufficient for Captain Kearney, who would fill his +portmanteau, and take up his quarters, without thinking of leaving them +until the ship sailed, or some more advantageous invitation was given. +This conduct in England would have very much trespassed on our ideas of +hospitality; but in our foreign settlements and colonies, where the +society is confined and novelty is desirable, a person who could amuse +like Captain Kearney was generally welcome, let him stay as long as he +pleased. All sailors agree in asserting that Halifax is one of the most +delightful ports in which a ship can anchor. Everybody is hospitable, +cheerful, and willing to amuse and be amused. It is, therefore, a very +bad place to send a ship to if you wish her to refit in a hurry; unless, +indeed, the admiral is there to watch over your daily progress, and a +sharp commissioner to expedite your motions in the dockyard. The admiral +was there when we arrived, and we should not have lain there long, had +not the health of Captain Kearney, by the time that we were ready for +sea, been so seriously affected, that the doctor was of opinion that he +could not sail. Another frigate was sent to our intended +cruising-ground, and we lay idle in port. But we consoled ourselves: if +we did not make prize-money, at all events, we were very happy, and the +major part of the officers very much in love. + +We had remained in Halifax harbour about three weeks, when a very great +change for the worse took place in Captain Kearney's disease. Disease, +indeed, it could hardly be called. He had been long suffering from the +insidious attacks of a hot climate, and though repeatedly advised to +invalid, he never would consent. His constitution appeared now to be +breaking up. In a few days he was so ill, that, at the request of the +naval surgeons, he consented to be removed to the hospital, where he +could command more comforts than in any private house. He had not been +at the hospital more than two days, when he sent for me, and stated his +wish that I should remain with him. "You know, Peter, that you are a +cousin of mine, and one likes to have one's relations near one when we +are sick, so bring your traps on shore. The doctor has promised me a +nice little room for yourself, and you shall come and sit with me all +day." I certainly had no objection to remain with him, because I +considered it my duty so to do, and I must say that there was no +occasion for me to make any effort to entertain him, as he always +entertained me; but I could not help seriously reflecting, and feeling +much shocked, at a man, lying in so dangerous a state--for the doctors +had pronounced his recovery to be impossible--still continuing a system +of falsehood during the whole day, without intermission. But it really +appeared in him to be innate; and, as Swinburne said, "if he told truth, +it was entirely by mistake." + +"Peter," said he, one day, "there's a great draught. Shut the door, and +put on some more coals." + +"The fire does not draw well, sir," replied I, "without the door is +open." + +"It's astonishing how little people understand the nature of these +things. When I built my house, called Walcot Abbey, there was not a +chimney would draw; I sent for the architect and abused him, but he +could not manage it: I was obliged to do it myself." + +"Did you manage it, sir?" + +"Manage it--I think I did. The first time I lighted the fire, I opened +the door, and the draught was so great, that my little boy, William, who +was standing in the current of air, would have gone right up the +chimney, if I had not caught him by the petticoats; as it was, his frock +was on fire." + +"Why sir, it must have been as bad as a hurricane!" + +"No, no, not quite so bad--but it showed what a little knowledge of +philosophical arrangement could effect. We have no hurricanes in +England, Peter; but I have seen a very pretty whirlwind when I was at +Walcot Abbey." + +"Indeed, sir." + +"Yes; it cut four square haystacks quite round, and I lost twenty tons +of hay; it twisted the iron lamp-post at the entrance just as a porpoise +twists a harpoon, and took up a sow and her litter of pigs, that were +about a hundred yards from the back of the house, and landed them safe +over the house to the front, with the exception of the old sow putting +her shoulder out." + +"Indeed, sir." + +"Yes, but what was strange, there were a great many rats in the hayrick, +and up they went with the hay. Now, Peter, by the laws of gravitation, +they naturally come down before the hay, and I was walking with my +greyhound, or rather terrier, and after one coming down close to her, +which she killed, it was quite ridiculous to witness her looking up in +the air, and watching for the others." + +"A greyhound did you say, sir, or a terrier?" + +"Both, Peter; the fact is, she had been a greyhound, but breaking her +foreleg against a stump, when coursing, I had the other three amputated +as well, and then she made a capital terrier. She was a great favourite +of mine." + +"Well," observed I, "I have read something like that in Baron +Munchausen." + +"Mr Simple," said the captain, turning on his elbow and looking me +severely in the face, "what do you mean to imply?" + +"Oh, nothing, sir, but I have read a story of that kind." + +"Most probably; the great art of invention is to found it upon facts. +There are some people who out of a mole-hill will make a mountain; and +facts and fiction become so blended nowadays, that even truth becomes a +matter of doubt." + +"Very true, sir," replied I; and as he did not speak for some minutes, I +ventured to bring my Bible to his bedside, as if I was reading it to +myself. + +"What are you reading, Peter?" said he. + +"Only a chapter in the Bible, sir," said I. "Would you like that I +should read aloud?" + +"Yes, I'm very fond of the Bible--it's the book of _truth_. Peter, read +me about Jacob, and his weathering Esau with a mess of pottage, and +obtaining his father's blessing." I could not help thinking it singular +that he should select a portion in which, for divine reasons, a lie was +crowned with success and reward. + +When I had finished it, he asked me to read something more; I turned +over to the Acts of the Apostles, and commenced the chapter in which +Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead. When I had finished, he observed +very seriously, "That is a very good lesson for young people, Peter, and +points out that you never should swerve from the truth. Recollect, as +your motto, Peter, to 'tell truth and shame the devil.'" + +After this observation I laid down the book, as it appeared to me that +he was quite unaware of his propensity; and without a sense of your +fault, how can repentance and amendment be expected? He became more +feeble and exhausted every day, and, at last, was so weak that he could +scarcely raise himself in his bed. One afternoon he said, "Peter, I +shall make my will, not that I am going to kick the bucket just yet; but +still it is every man's duty to set his house in order, and it will +amuse me; so fetch pen and paper, and come and sit down by me." + +I did as he requested. + +"Write, Peter, that I, Anthony George William Charles Huskisson Kearney +(my father's name was Anthony, Peter; I was christened George, after the +present Regent, William and Charles after Mr Pitt and Mr Fox, who were +my sponsors; Huskisson is the name of my great uncle, whose property +devolves to me; he's eighty-three now, so he can't last long)--have you +written down that?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Being in sound mind, do hereby make my last will and testament, +revoking all former wills." + +"Yes, sir." + +"I bequeath to my dearly beloved wife, Augusta Charlotte Kearney (she +was named after the Queen and Princess Augusta, who held her at the +baptismal font), all my household furniture, books, pictures, plate, and +houses, for her own free use and will, and to dispose of at her pleasure +upon her demise. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Also, the interest of all my money in the three percents, reduced, and +in the long annuities, and the balance in my agent's hands, for her +natural life. At her death to be divided into equal portions between my +two children, William Mohamed Potemkin Kearney, and Caroline Anastasia +Kearney. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well, then, Peter, now for my real property. My estate in Kent (let me +see, what is the name of it?)--Walcot Abbey, my three farms in the Vale +of Aylesbury, and the marsh lands in Norfolk, I bequeath to my two +children aforenamed, the proceeds of the same to be laid up, deducting +all necessary expenses for their education, for their sole use and +benefit. Is that down?" + +"Not yet, sir--'use and benefit.' Now it is, sir." + +"Until they come to the age of twenty-one years; or in case of my +daughter, until she marries with the consent of my executors, then to be +equally and fairly valued and divided between them. You observe, Peter, +I never make any difference between girls and boys--a good father will +leave one child as much as another. Now, I'll take my breath a little." + +I was really astonished. It was well known that Captain Kearney had +nothing but his pay, and that it was the hopes of prize-money to support +his family, which had induced him to stay out so long in the West +Indies. It was laughable; yet I could not laugh: there was a melancholy +feeling at such a specimen of insanity, which prevented me. + +"Now, Peter, we'll go on," said Captain Kearney, after a pause of a few +minutes. "I have a few legacies to bequeath. First, to all my servants +£50 each, and two suits of mourning; to my nephew, Thomas Kearney, of +Kearney Hall, Yorkshire, I bequeath the sword presented me by the Grand +Sultan. I promised it to him, and although we have quarrelled, and not +spoken for years, I always keep my word. The plate presented me by the +merchants and underwriters of Lloyd's, I leave to my worthy friend, the +Duke of Newcastle. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well; my snuff-box, presented me by Prince Potemkin, I bequeath to +Admiral Sir Isaac Coffin; and, also, I release him from the mortgage +which I hold over his property of the Madeline Islands, in North +America. By-the-bye, say, and further, I bequeath to him the bag of +snuff presented to me by the Dey of Algiers; he may as well have the +snuff as he has the snuff-box. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well then, now, Peter, I must leave you something." + +"Oh, never mind me," replied I. + +"No, no, Peter, I must not forget my cousin. Let me see; you shall have +my fighting sword. A real good one, I can tell you. I once fought a duel +with it at Palermo, and ran a Sicilian prince so clean through the body, +and it held so tight, that we were obliged to send for a pair of +post-horses to pull it out again. Put that down as a legacy for my +cousin, Peter Simple. I believe that is all. Now for my executors; and I +request my particular friends, the Earl of Londonderry, the Marquis of +Chandos, and Mr John Lubbock, banker, to be my executors, and leave each +of them the sum of one thousand pounds for their trouble, and in token +of regard. That will do, Peter. Now, as I have left so much real +property, it is necessary that there should be three witnesses; so call +in two more, and let me sign in your presence." + +This order was obeyed, and this strange will duly attested, for I hardly +need say, that even the presents he had pretended to receive were +purchased by himself at different times; but such was the force of his +ruling passion even to the last. Mr Phillott and O'Brien used to come +and see him, as did occasionally some of the other officers, and he was +always cheerful and merry, and seemed to be quite indifferent about his +situation, although fully aware of it. His stories, if anything, became +more marvellous, as no one ventured to express a doubt as to their +credibility. + +I had remained in the hospital about a week, when Captain Kearney was +evidently dying: the doctor came, felt his pulse, and gave it as his +opinion that he could not outlive the day. This was on a Friday, and +there certainly was every symptom of dissolution. He was so exhausted +that he could scarcely articulate; his feet were cold, and his eyes +appeared glazed, and turned upwards. The doctor remained an hour, felt +his pulse again, shook his head, and said to me, in a low voice, "He is +quite gone." As soon as the doctor quitted the room, Captain Kearney +opened his eyes, and beckoned me to him. "He's a confounded fool, +Peter," said he: "he thinks I am slipping my wind now--but I know +better; going I am, 'tis true--but I shan't die till next Thursday." +Strange to say, from that moment he rallied; and although it was +reported that he was dead, and the admiral had signed the acting order +for his successor, the next morning, to the astonishment of everybody, +Captain Kearney was still alive. He continued in this state, between +life and death, until the Thursday next, the day on which he asserted +that he would die--and, on that morning, he was evidently sinking fast. +Towards noon, his breathing became much oppressed and irregular, and he +was evidently dying; the rattle in his throat commenced; and I watched +at his bedside, waiting for his last gasp, when he again opened his +eyes, and beckoning me, with an effort, to put my head close to him to +hear what he had to say, he contrived, in a sort of gurgling whisper, +and with much difficulty, to utter--"Peter, I'm going now--not that the +rattle--in my throat--is a sign of death: for I once knew a man--to +_live_ with--_the rattle in his throat_--for _six weeks_." He fell back +and expired, having, perhaps, at his last gasp, told the greatest lie of +his whole life. + +Thus died this most extraordinary character, who, in most other points, +commanded respect: he was a kind man and a good officer; but from the +idiosyncrasy of his disposition, whether from habit or from nature, +could not speak the truth. I say from _nature_, because I have witnessed +the vice of stealing equally strong, and never to be eradicated. It was +in a young messmate of good family, and who was supplied with money to +almost any extent: he was one of the most generous, open-hearted lads +that I ever knew; he would offer his purse, or the contents of his +chest, to any of his messmates, and, at the same time, would steal +everything that he could lay his hands upon. I have known him watch for +hours, to steal what could be of no use to him, as, for instance, an +_odd_ shoe, and that much too small for his foot. What he stole he would +give away the very next day; but to check it was impossible. It was so +well known, that if anything was missed, we used first to apply to his +chest to see if it was there, and usually found the article in question. +He appeared to be wholly insensible to shame upon this subject, though +in every other he showed no want of feeling or of honour; and, strange +to say, he never covered his theft with a lie. After vain attempts to +cure him of this propensity, he was dismissed the service as +incorrigible. + +Captain Kearney was buried in the churchyard with the usual military +honours. In his desk we found directions, in his own hand, relative to +his funeral, and the engraving on his tombstone. In these, he stated his +aged to be thirty-one years. If this was correct, Captain Kearney, from +the time that he had been in the service of his country, must have +entered the navy just _four months before_ he was born. It was +unfortunate that he commenced the inscription with "Here lies Captain +Kearney," &c. &c. His tombstone had not been set up twenty-four hours +before somebody, who knew his character, put a dash under one word, as +emphatic as it was true of the living man, "Here _lies_ Captain." + + + + +Chapter XXXVIII + +Captain Horton--Gloomy news from home--Get over head and ears in the +water, and find myself afterwards growing one way, and my clothes +another--Though neither as rich as a Jew, nor as large as a camel, I +pass through my examination, which my brother candidates think passing +strange. + + +The day after Captain Kearney's decease, his acting successor made his +appearance on board. The character of Captain Horton was well known to +us from the complaints made by the officers belonging to his ship, of +his apathy and indolence; indeed, he went by the _soubriquet_ of "the +Sloth." It certainly was very annoying to his officers to witness so +many opportunities of prize-money and distinction thrown away through +the indolence of his disposition. Captain Horton was a young man of +family who had advanced rapidly in the service from interest, and from +occasionally distinguishing himself. In the several cutting-out +expeditions, on which he had not volunteered but had been ordered, he +had shown, not only courage, but a remarkable degree of coolness in +danger and difficulty, which had gained him much approbation: but it was +said that this coolness arose from his very fault--an unaccountable +laziness. He would walk away, as it were, from the enemy's fire, when +others would hasten, merely because he was so apathetic that he would +not exert himself to run. In one cutting-out expedition in which he +distinguished himself, it is said that having to board a very high +vessel, and that in a shower of grape and musketry, when the boat dashed +alongside, and the men were springing up, he looked up at the height of +the vessel's sides, and exclaimed, with a look of despair, "My God! must +we really climb up that vessel's decks?" When he had gained the deck, +and became excited, he then proved how little fear had to do with the +remark, the captain of the ship falling by his hand, as he fought in +advance on his own men. But this peculiarity, which in a junior officer +was of little consequence, and a subject of mirth, in a captain became +of a very serious nature. The admiral was aware how often he had +neglected to annoy or capture the enemy when he might have done it; and, +by such neglect, Captain Horton infringed one of the articles of war, +the punishment awarded to which infringement is _death_. His +appointment, therefore, to the _Sanglier_ was as annoying to us as his +quitting his former ship was agreeable to those on board of her. + +As it happened, it proved of little consequence: the admiral had +instructions from home to advance Captain Horton to the first vacancy, +which of course he was obliged to comply with; but not wishing to keep +on the station an officer who would not exert himself, he resolved to +send her to England with despatches and retain the other frigate which +had been ordered home, and which we had been sent up to replace. We +therefore heard it announced with feelings of joy, mingled with regret, +that we were immediately to proceed to England. For my part, I was glad +of it. I had now served my time as midshipman, to within five months, +and I thought that I had a better chance of being made in England than +abroad. I was also very anxious to go home, for family reasons, which I +have already explained. In a fortnight we sailed with several vessels, +and directions to take charge of a large convoy from Quebec, which was +to meet us off the island of St John's. In a few days we joined our +convoy, and with a fair wind bore up for England. The weather soon +became very bad, and we were scudding before a heavy gale, under bare +poles. Our captain seldom quitted the cabin, but remained there on a +sofa, stretched at his length, reading a novel, or dozing, as he found +most agreeable. + +I recollect a circumstance which occurred, which will prove the apathy +of his disposition, and how unfit he was to command so fine a frigate. +We had been scudding three days, when the weather became much worse. + +O'Brien, who had the middle watch, went down to report that "it blew +very hard." + +"Very well," said the captain; "let me know if it blows harder." + +In about an hour more the gale increased, and O'Brien went down again. +"It blows much harder, Captain Horton." + +"Very well," answered Captain Horton, turning in his cot; "you may call +me again when it _blows harder_." + +At about six bells the gale was at its height, and the wind roared in +its fury. Down went O'Brien again. "It blows tremendous hard now, +Captain Horton." + +"Well, well, if the weather becomes worse--" + +"It can't be worse," interrupted O'Brien; "it's impossible to blow +harder." + +"Indeed! Well, then," replied the captain, "let me know when _it +lulls_." + +In the morning watch a similar circumstance took place. Mr Phillott went +down, and said that several of the convoy were out of sight astern. +"Shall we heave-to, Captain Horton?" + +"Oh, no," replied he, "she will be so uneasy. Let me know if you lose +sight of any more." + +In another hour the first lieutenant reported that "there were very few +to be seen." + +"Very well, Mr Phillott," replied the captain, turning round to sleep; +"let me know if you lose any more." + +Some time elapsed, and the first lieutenant reported "that they were all +out of sight." + +"Very well, then," said the captain; "call me when you see them again." + +This was not very likely to take place, as we were going twelve knots an +hour, and running away from them as fast as we could; so the captain +remained undisturbed until he thought proper to get up to breakfast. +Indeed, we never saw any more of our convoy, but taking the gale with +us, in fifteen days anchored in Plymouth Sound. The orders came down for +the frigate to be paid off, all standing, and recommissioned. I received +letters from my father, in which he congratulated me at my name being +mentioned in Captain Kearney's despatches, and requested me to come home +as soon as I could. The admiral allowed my name to be put down on the +books of the guard-ship, that I might not lose my time, and then gave me +two months' leave of absence. I bade farewell to my shipmates, shook +hands with O'Brien, who proposed to go over to Ireland previous to his +applying for another ship, and, with my pay in my pocket, set off in the +Plymouth mail, and in three days was once more in the arms of my +affectionate mother, and warmly greeted by my father and the remainder +of my family. + +Once more with my family, I must acquaint the reader with what had +occurred since my departure. My eldest sister, Lucy, had married an +officer in the army, a Captain Fielding, and his regiment having been +ordered out to India, had accompanied her husband, and letters had been +received, just before my return announcing their safe arrival at Ceylon. +My second sister, Mary, had also been engaged to be married, and from +her infancy was of extremely delicate health. She was very handsome, and +much admired. Her intended husband was a baronet of good family; but +unfortunately, she caught a cold at the assize ball and went off in a +decline. She died about two months before my arrival, and the family +were in deep mourning. My third sister, Ellen, was still unmarried; she +also was a very beautiful girl, and now seventeen. My mother's +constitution was much shaken by the loss of my sister Mary, and the +separation from her eldest child. As for my father, even the loss of his +daughter appeared to be wholly forgotten in the unwelcome intelligence +which he had received, that my uncle's wife had been safely delivered of +a _son_, which threw him out of the anticipated titles and estates of my +grandfather. It was indeed a house of mourning. My mother's grief I +respected, and tried all I could to console her; that of my father was +so evidently worldly, and so at variance with his clerical profession, +that I must acknowledge I felt more of anger at it than sorrow. He had +become morose and sullen, harsh to those around him, and not so kind to +my mother as her state of mind and health made it his duty to be, even +if inclination were wanted. He seldom passed any portion of the day with +her, and in the evening she went to bed very early, so that there was +little communication between them. My sister was a great consolation to +her, and so I hope was I; she often said so as she embraced me, and the +tears rolled down her cheeks, and I could not help surmising that those +tears were doubled from the coolness and indifference, if not +unkindness, with which my father behaved to her. As for my sister, she +was an angel; and as I witnessed her considerate attentions to my +mother, and the total forgetfulness of self which she displayed (so +different from my father, who was all self), I often thought what a +treasure she would prove to any man who was fortunate enough to win her +love. Such was the state of my family when I returned to it. + +I had been at home about a week, when one evening, after dinner, I +submitted to my father the propriety of trying to obtain my promotion. + +"I can do nothing for you, Peter; I have no interest whatever," replied +he, moodily. + +"I do not think that much is required, sir," replied I; "my time will be +served on the 20th of next month. If I pass, which I trust I shall be +able to do, my name having been mentioned in the public despatches will +render it a point of no very great difficulty to obtain my commission at +the request of my grandfather." + +"Yes, your grandfather might succeed, I have no doubt; but I think you +have little chance now in that quarter. My brother has a son, and we are +thrown out. You are not aware, Peter, how selfish people are, and how +little they will exert themselves for their relations. Your grandfather +has never invited me since the announcement of my brother's increase to +his family. Indeed, I have never been near him, for I know that it is of +no use." + +"I must think otherwise of Lord Privilege, my dear father, until your +opinion is confirmed by his own conduct. That I am not so much an object +of interest, I grant; but still he was very kind, and appeared to be +partial to me." + +"Well, well, you can try all you can, but you'll soon see of what stuff +this world is made; I am sure I hope it will be so, for what is to +become of you children if I die, I do not know;--I have saved little or +nothing. And now all my prospects are blasted by this--" and my father +dashed his fist upon the table in a manner by no means clerical, and +with a look very unworthy of an apostle. + +I am sorry that I must thus speak of my father, but I must not disguise +the truth. Still, I must say, there was much in extenuation of his +conduct. He had always a dislike to the profession of the church: his +ambition, as a young man, had been to enter the army, for which service +he was much better qualified; but, as it has been the custom for +centuries to entail all the property of the aristocracy upon the eldest +son, and leave the other brothers to be supported by the state, or +rather by the people, who are taxed for their provision, my father was +not permitted to follow the bent of his own inclination. An elder +brother had already selected the army as his profession, and it was +therefore decided that my father should enter the church; and thus it is +that we have had, and still have, so many people in that profession, who +are not only totally unfit for, but who actually disgrace, their +calling. The law of primogeniture is beset with evils and injustice; yet +without it, the aristocracy of a country must sink into insignificance. +It appears to me, that as long as the people of a country are content to +support the younger sons of the nobility, it is well that the +aristocracy should be held up as a third estate, and a link between the +sovereign and the people; but that if the people are either too poor, or +are unwilling to be so taxed, they have a right to refuse taxation for +such purposes, and to demand that the law of primogeniture should be +abolished. + +I remained at home until my time was complete, and then set off for +Plymouth to undergo my examination. The passing-day had been fixed by +the admiral for the Friday, and, as I arrived on Wednesday, I amused +myself during the day, walking about the dockyard, and trying all I +could to obtain further information in my profession. On the Thursday, a +party of soldiers from the depot were embarking at the landing-place in +men-of-war boats, and, as I understood, were about to proceed to India. +I witnessed the embarkation, and waited till they shoved off, and then +walked to the anchor wharf to ascertain the weights of the respective +anchors of the different classes of vessels in the King's service. + +I had not been there long, when I was attracted by the squabbling +created by a soldier, who, it appeared, had quitted the ranks to run up +to the tap in the dockyard to obtain liquor. He was very drunk, and was +followed by a young woman with a child in her arms, who was endeavouring +to pacify him. + +"Now be quiet, Patrick, jewel," said she, clinging to him; "sure it's +enough that you've left the ranks, and will come to disgrace when you +get on board. Now be quiet, Patrick, and let us ask for a boat, and then +perhaps the officer will think it was all a mistake, and let you off +aisy; and sure I'll speak to Mr O'Rourke, and he's a kind man." + +"Out wid you, you cratur, it is Mr O'Rourke you'd be having a +conversation wid, and he be chucking you under that chin of yours. Out +wid you, Mary, and lave me to find my way on board. Is it a boat I want, +when I can swim like St Patrick, wid my head under my arm, if it wasn't +on my shoulders? At all events, I can wid my nappersack and musket to +boot." + +The young woman cried, and tried to restrain him, but he broke from her, +and running down to the wharf, dashed off into the water. The young +woman ran to the edge of the wharf, perceived him sinking, and shrieking +with despair, threw up her arms in her agony. The child fell, struck on +the edge of the piles, turned over, and before I could catch hold of it, +sank into the sea. "The child! the child!" burst forth in another wild +scream, and the poor creature lay at my feet in violent fits. I looked +over, the child had disappeared; but the soldier was still struggling +with his head above water. He sank and rose again--a boat was pulling +towards him, but he was quite exhausted. He threw back his arms as if in +despair, and was about disappearing under a wave, when, no longer able +to restrain myself, I leaped off the high wharf, and swam to his +assistance, just in time to lay hold of him as he was sinking for the +last time. I had not been in the water a quarter of a minute before the +boat came up to us, and dragged us on board. The soldier was exhausted +and speechless. I, of course, was only very wet. The boat rowed to the +landing-place at my request, and we were both put on shore. The knapsack +which was fixed on the soldier's back, and his regimentals, indicated +that he belonged to the regiment just embarked; and I stated my opinion +that, as soon as he was a little recovered, he had better be taken on +board. As the boat which picked us up was one of the men-of-war boats, +the officer who had been embarking the troops, and had been sent on +shore again to know if there were any yet left behind, consented. In a +few minutes the soldier recovered, and was able to sit up and speak, and +I only waited to ascertain the state of the poor young woman whom I had +left on the wharf. In a few minutes she was led to us by the warder, and +the scene between her and her husband was most affecting. When she had +become a little composed, she turned round to me, where I stood dripping +wet, and, intermingled with lamentation for the child, showering down +emphatic blessings on my head, inquired my name. "Give it to me!" she +cried; "give it to me on paper, in writing, that I may wear it next my +heart, read and kiss it every day of my life, and never forget to pray +for you, and to bless you!" + +"I'll tell it you. My name--" + +"Nay, write it down for me--write it down. Sure you'll not refuse me. +All the saints bless you, dear young man, for saving a poor woman from +despair!" + +The officer commanding the boat handed me a pencil and a card; I wrote +my name and gave it to the poor woman; she took my hand as I gave it, +kissed the card repeatedly, and put it into her bosom. The officer, +impatient to shove off, ordered her husband into the boat--she followed, +clinging to him, wet as he was--the boat shoved off, and I hastened up +to the inn to dry my clothes. I could not help observing, at the time, +how the fear of a greater evil will absorb all consideration for a +minor. Satisfied that her husband had not perished, she had hardly once +appeared to remember that she had lost her child. + +I had only brought one suit of clothes with me: they were in very good +condition when I arrived, but salt water plays the devil with a uniform. +I laid in bed until they were dry; but when I put them on again, not +being before too large for me, for I grew very fast, they were now +shrunk and shrivelled up, so as to be much too small. My wrists appeared +below the sleeves of my coat--my trousers had shrunk half way up to my +knees--the buttons were all tarnished, and altogether I certainly did +not wear the appearance of a gentlemanly, smart midshipman. I would have +ordered another suit, but the examination was to take place at ten +o'clock the next morning, and there was no time. I was therefore obliged +to appear as I was, on the quarter-deck of the line-of-battle ship, on +board of which the passing was to take place. Many others were there to +undergo the same ordeal, all strangers to me, and as I perceived by +their nods and winks to each other, as they walked up and down in their +smart clothes, not at all inclined to make my acquaintance. + +There were many before me on the list, and our hearts beat every time +that a name was called, and the owner of it walked aft into the cabin. +Some returned with jocund faces, and our hopes mounted with the +anticipation of similar good fortune; others came out melancholy and +crest-fallen, and then the expression of their countenances was +communicated to our own, and we quailed with fear and apprehension. I +have no hesitation in asserting, that although "passing" may be a proof +of being qualified, "not passing" is certainly no proof to the contrary. +I have known many of the cleverest young men turned back (while others +of inferior abilities have succeeded), merely from the feeling of awe +occasioned by the peculiarity of the situation: and it is not to be +wondered at, when it is considered that all the labour and exertion of +six years are at stake at this appalling moment. At last my name was +called, and almost breathless from anxiety, I entered the cabin, where I +found myself in presence of the three captains who were to decide +whether I were fit to hold a commission in His Majesty's service. My +logs and certificates were examined and approved; my time calculated and +allowed to be correct. The questions in navigation which were put to me +were very few, for the best of all possible reasons, that most captains +in His Majesty's service know little or nothing of navigation. During +their servitude as midshipmen, they learn it by _rote_, without being +aware of the principles upon which the calculations they use are +founded. As lieutenants, their services as to navigation are seldom +required, and they rapidly forget all about it. As captains, their whole +remnant of mathematical knowledge consists in being able to set down the +ship's position on the chart. As for navigating the ship, the master is +answerable; and the captains not being responsible themselves, they +trust entirely to his reckoning. Of course there are exceptions, but +what I state is the fact; and if an order from the Admiralty was given, +that all captains should pass again, although they might acquit +themselves very well in seamanship, nineteen out of twenty would be +turned back when they were questioned in navigation. It is from the +knowledge of this fact that I think the service is injured by the +present system, and the captain should be held _wholly_ responsible for +the navigation of his ship. It has been long known that the officers of +every other maritime state are more scientific than our own, which is +easily explained, from the responsibility not being invested in our +captains. The origin of masters in our service is singular. When England +first became a maritime power, ships for the King's service were found +by the Cinque Ports and other parties--the fighting part of the crew was +composed of soldiers sent on board. All the vessels at that time had a +crew of sailors, with a master to navigate the vessel. During our bloody +naval engagements with the Dutch, the same system was acted upon. I +think it was the Earl of Sandwich, of whom it is stated, that his ship +being in a sinking state, he took a boat to hoist his flag on board of +another vessel in the fleet, but a shot cutting the boat in two, and the +_weight of his armour_ bearing him down, the Earl of Sandwich perished. +But to proceed. + +As soon as I had answered several questions satisfactorily, I was +desired to stand up. The captain who had interrogated me on navigation, +was very grave in his demeanour towards me, but at the same time not +uncivil. During his examination, he was not interfered with by the other +two, who only undertook the examination in "seamanship." The captain, +who now desired me to stand up, spoke in a very harsh tone, and quite +frightened me. I stood up pale and trembling, for I augured no good from +this commencement. Several questions in seamanship were put to me, which +I have no doubt I answered in a very lame way, for I cannot even now +recollect what I said. + +"I thought so," observed the captain; "I judged as much from your +appearance. An officer who is so careless of his dress, as not even to +put on a decent coat when he appears at his examination, generally turns +out an idle fellow, and no seaman. One would think you had served all +your time in a cutter, or a ten-gun brig, instead of dashing frigates. +Come, sir, I'll give you one more chance." + +I was so hurt at what the captain said, that I could not control my +feelings. I replied, with a quivering lip, "that I had had no time to +order another uniform,"--and I burst into tears. + +"Indeed, Burrows, you are rather too harsh," said the third captain; +"the lad is frightened. Let him sit down and compose himself for a +little while. Sit down, Mr Simple, and we will try you again directly." + +I sat down, checking my grief and trying to recall my scattered senses. +The captains, in the meantime, turning over the logs to pass away the +time; the one who had questioned me in navigation reading the Plymouth +newspaper, which had a few minutes before been brought on board and sent +into the cabin. "Heh! what's this? I say Burrows--Keats, look here," and +he pointed to a paragraph. "Mr Simple, may I ask whether it was you who +saved the soldier who leaped off the wharf yesterday?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I; "and that's the reason why my uniforms are so +shabby. I spoilt them then, and had no time to order others. I did not +like to say why they were spoilt." I saw a change in the countenances of +all the three, and it gave me courage. Indeed, now that my feelings had +found vent, I was no longer under any apprehension. + +"Come, Mr Simple, stand up again," said the captain, kindly, "that is, +if you feel sufficiently composed; if not, we will wait a little longer. +Don't be afraid, we _wish_ to pass you." + +I was not afraid, and stood up immediately. I answered every question +satisfactorily; and finding that I did so, they put more difficult ones. +"Very good, very good indeed, Mr Simple; now let me ask you one more; +it's seldom done in the service, and perhaps you may not be able to +answer it. Do you know how to _club-haul_ a ship?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I, having, as the reader may recollect, witnessed +the manoeuvre when serving under poor Captain Savage, and I immediately +stated how it was to be done. + +"That is sufficient, Mr Simple. I wish to ask you no more questions. I +thought at first you were a careless officer and no seaman: I now find +that you are a good seaman and a gallant young man. Do you wish to ask +any more questions?" continued he, turning to the two others. + +They replied in the negative; my passing certificate was signed, and the +captains did me the honour to shake hands with me, and wish me speedy +promotion. Thus ended happily this severe trial to my poor nerves; and, +as I came out of the cabin, no one could have imagined that I had been +in such distress within, when they beheld the joy that irradiated my +countenance. + + + + +Chapter XXXIX + +Is a chapter of plots--Catholic casuistry in a new cassock--Plotting +promotes promotion--A peasant's love and a peer's peevishness--Prospects +of prosperity. + + +As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I sent for a Plymouth paper, and cut +out the paragraph which had been of such importance to me in my +emergency, and the next morning returned home to receive the +congratulations of my family. I found a letter from O'Brien, which had +arrived the day before. It was as follows:-- + + "MY DEAR PETER,--Some people, they say, are lucky to 'have a father + born before them,' because they are helped on in the world--upon + which principle, mine was born _after_ me, that's certain; however, + that can't be helped. I found all my family well and hearty; but they + all shook a cloth in the wind with respect to toggery. As for Father + M'Grath's cassock, he didn't complain of it without reason. It was the + ghost of a garment; but, however, with the blessing of God, my last + quarterly bill, and the help of a tailor, we have had a regular refit, + and the ancient family of the O'Briens of Ballyhinch are now rigged + from stem to starn. My two sisters are both to be spliced to young + squireens in the neighbourhood; it appears that they only wanted for a + dacent town gown to go to the church in. They will be turned off next + Friday, and I only wish, Peter, you were here to dance at the + weddings. Never mind, I'll dance for you and for myself too. In the + meantime, I'll just tell you what Father M'Grath and I have been + doing, all about and consarning that thief of an uncle of yours. + + "It's very little or nothing at all that Father M'Grath did before I + came back, seeing as how Father O'Toole had a new cassock, and Father + M'Grath's was so shabby that he couldn't face him under such a + disadvantage; but still Father M'Grath spied about him, and had + several hints from here and from there, all of which, when I came to + add them up, amounted to just nothing at all. + + "But since I came home, we have been busy. Father M'Grath went down to + Ballycleuch, as bold as a lion in his new clothing, swearing that he'd + lead Father O'Toole by the nose for slamming the door in his face, and + so he would have done, if he could have found him; but as he wasn't to + be found, Father M'Grath came back again just as wise, and quite as + brave, as he went out. + + "So, Peter, I just took a walk that way myself, and, as I surrounded + the old house where your uncle had taken up his quarters, who should I + meet but the little girl, Ella Flanagan, who was in his service; and I + said to myself, 'There's two ways of obtaining things in this world, + one is for love, and the other is for money.' The O'Briens are better + off in the first article than in the last, as most of their countrymen + are, so I've been spending it very freely in your service, Peter. + + "'Sure,' says I, 'you are the little girl that my eyes were ever + looking upon when last I was in this way.' + + "'And who are you?' says she. + + "'Lieutenant O'Brien, of his Majesty's service, just come home for a + minute to look out for a wife,' says I; 'and it's one about your make, + and shape, and discretion that would please my fancy.' + + "And then I praised her eyes, and her nose, and her forehead, and so + downwards, until I came to the soles of her feet; and asked her leave + to see her again, and when she would meet me in the wood and tell me + her mind. At first, she thought (sure enough) that I couldn't be in + earnest, but I swore by all the saints that she was the prettiest girl + in the parts--and so she is altogether--and then she listened to my + blarney. The devil a word did I say about your uncle, or your aunt, or + Father M'Grath, that she might not suspect for I've an idea that + they're all in the story. I only talked about my love for her pretty + self, and that blinded her, as it will all women, 'cute as they may + be. + + "And now, Peter, it's three weeks last Sunday, that I've been + bespeaking this poor girl for your sake, and my conscience tells me + that it's not right to make the poor crature fond of me, seeing as how + that I don't care a fig for her in the way of a wife, and in any other + way it would be the ruin of the poor thing. I have spoken to Father + M'Grath on the subject, who says, 'that we may do evil that good may + come, and that, if she has been a party to the deceit, it's nothing + but proper that she should be punished in this world, and that will, + perhaps, save her in the next;' still I don't like it, Peter, and it's + only for you among the living that I'd do such a thing; for the poor + creature now hangs upon me so fondly, and talks about the wedding-day; + and tells me long stories about the connections which have taken place + between the O'Flanagans and the O'Briens, times bygone, when they were + all in their glory. Yesterday, as we sat in the wood, with her arm + round my waist, 'Ella, dear,' says I, 'who are these people that you + stay with?' And then she told me all she knew about their history, and + how Mary Sullivan was a nurse to the baby. + + "'And what is the baby?' says I. + + "'A boy, sure,' says she. + + "'And Sullivan's baby?' + + "'That's a girl.' + + "'And is Mary Sullivan there now?' + + "'No' says she; 'it's yestreen she left with her husband and baby, to + join the regiment that's going out to Ingy.' + + "'Yesterday she left?' says I, starting up. + + "'Yes,' replies she, 'and what do you care about them?' + + "'It's very much I care,' replied I, 'for a little bird has whispered + a secret to me.' + + "'And what may that be?' says she. + + "'Only that the childer were changed, and you know it as well as I + do.' But she swore that she knew nothing about it, and that she was + not there when either of the children was born, and I believe that she + told the truth. 'Well,' says I, 'who tended the lady?' + + "'My own mother,' says Ella. 'And if it was so, who can know but she?' + + "Then,' says I, 'Ella, jewel, I've made a vow that I'll never marry + till I find out the truth of this matter; so the sooner you get it out + of your mother the better.' Then she cried very much, and I was almost + ready to cry too, to see how the poor thing was vexed at the idea of + not being married. After a while, she swabbed up her cheeks, and + kissing me, wished me good-by, swearing by all the saints that the + truth should come out, somehow or another. + + "It's this morning that I saw her again, as agreed upon yesterday, and + red her eyes were with weeping, poor thing; and she clung to me, and + begged me to forgive her, and not to leave her; and then she told me + that her mother was startled when she put the question to her, and + chewed it, and cursed her when she insisted upon the truth; and how + she had fallen on her knees, and begged her mother not to stand in the + way of her happiness, as she would die if she did (I leave you to + guess if my heart didn't smite me when she said that, Peter, but the + mischief was done), and how her mother had talked about her oath and + Father O'Toole, and said that she would speak to him. + + "Now, Peter, I'm sure that the childer have been changed, and that the + nurse has been sent to the Indies to be out of the way. They say they + were to go to Plymouth. The husband's name is, of course, O'Sullivan; + so I'd recommend you to take a coach and see what you can do in that + quarter; in the meantime I'll try all I can for the truth in this, and + will write again as soon as I can find out anything more. All I want + to do is to get Father M'Grath to go to the old devil of a mother, and + I'll answer for it, he'll frighten her into swearing anything. God + bless you, Peter, and give my love to all the family. + + "Yours ever, + + "TERENCE O'BRIEN." + +This letter of O'Brien was the subject of much meditation. The advice to +go to Plymouth was too late, the troops having sailed some time; and I +had no doubt but that Mary Sullivan and her husband were among those who +had embarked at the time that I was at that port to pass my examination. +Show the letter to my father I would not, as it would only have put him +in a fever, and his interference would, in all probability, have done +more harm than good. I therefore waited quietly for more intelligence, +and resolved to apply to my grandfather to obtain my promotion. + +A few days afterwards I set off for Eagle Park, and arrived about eleven +o'clock in the morning. I sent in my name, and was admitted into the +library, where I found Lord Privilege in his easy chair as usual. + +"Well, child," said he, remaining on his chair, and not offering even +_one_ finger to me, "what do you want, that you come here without an +invitation?" + +"Only, my lord, to inquire after your health, and to thank you for your +kindness to me in procuring me and Mr O'Brien the appointment to a fine +frigate." + +"Yes," replied his lordship, "I recollect--I think I did so, at your +request, and I think I heard some one say that you have behaved well, +and had been mentioned in the despatches." + +"Yes, my lord," replied I, "and I have since passed my examination for +lieutenant." + +"Well, child, I'm glad to hear it. Remember me to your father and +family." And his lordship cast his eyes down upon the book which he had +been reading. + +My father's observations appeared to be well grounded, but I would not +leave the room until I had made some further attempt. + +"Has your lordship heard from my uncle?" + +"Yes," replied he, "I had a letter from him yesterday. The child is +quite well. I expect them all here in a fortnight or three weeks, to +live with me altogether. I am old--getting very old, and I shall have +much to arrange with your uncle before I die." + +"If I might request a favour of your lordship, it would be to beg that +you would interest yourself a little in obtaining my promotion. A letter +from your lordship to the First Lord--only a few lines--" + +"Well, child, I see no objection--only--I am very old, too old to write +now." And his lordship again commenced reading. + +I must do Lord Privilege the justice to state that he evidently was fast +verging to a state of second childhood. He was much bowed down since I +had last seen him, and appeared infirm in body as well as mind. + +I waited at least a quarter of an hour before his lordship looked up. + +"What, not gone yet, child? I thought you had gone home." + +"Your lordship was kind enough to say that you had no objection to write +a few lines to the First Lord in my behalf. I trust your lordship will +not refuse me." + +"Well," replied he, peevishly, "so I did--but I am too old, too old to +write--I cannot see--I can hardly hold a pen." + +"Will your lordship allow me the honour of writing the letter for your +lordship's signature?" + +"Well, child--yes--I've no objection. Write as follows--no--write +anything you please--and I'll sign it. I wish your uncle William were +come." + +This was more than I did. I had a great mind to show him O'Brien's +letter, but I thought it would be cruel to raise doubts, and harass the +mind of a person so close to the brink of the grave. The truth would +never be ascertained during his life, I thought, and why, therefore, +should I give him pain? At all events, although I had the letter in my +pocket, I resolved not to make use of it except as a _dernier_ resort. + +I went to another table, and sat down to write the letter. As his +lordship had said that I might write what I pleased, it occurred to me +that I might assist O'Brien, and I felt sure that his lordship would not +take the trouble to read the letter. I therefore wrote as follows, while +Lord Privilege continued to read his book:-- + + "MY LORD,--You will confer a very great favour upon me, if you will + hasten the commission which, I have no doubt, is in preparation for my + nephew, Mr Simple, who has passed his examination, and has been + mentioned in the public despatches, and also that you will not lose + sight of Lieutenant O'Brien, who has so distinguished himself by his + gallantry in the various cutting-out expeditions in the West Indies. + Trusting that your lordship will not fail to comply with my earnest + request, I have the honour to be, your lordship's very obedient humble + servant." + +I brought this letter, with a pen full of ink, and the noise of my +approach induced his lordship to look up. He stared at first, as having +forgotten the whole circumstance--then said--"Oh yes! I recollect, so I +did--give me the pen." With a trembling hand he signed his name, and +gave me back the letter without reading it, as I expected. + +"There, child, don't tease me any more. Good-bye; remember me to your +father." + +I wished his lordship a good morning, and went away well satisfied with +the result of my expedition. On my arrival I showed the letter to my +father, who was much surprised at my success, and he assured me that my +grandfather's interest was so great with the administration, that I +might consider my promotion as certain. That no accident might happen, I +immediately set off for London, and delivered the letter at the door of +the First Lord with my own hands, leaving my address with the porter. + + + + +Chapter XL + +O'Brien and myself take a step each, _pari passu_--A family reunion +productive of anything but unity--My uncle not always the best friend. + + +A few days afterwards I left my card with my address with the First +Lord, and the next day received a letter from his secretary, which, to +my delight, informed me that my commission had been made out some days +before. I hardly need say that I hastened to take it up, and when paying +my fee to the clerk, I ventured, at a hazard, to inquire whether he knew +the address of Lieutenant O'Brien. + +"No," replied he, "I wish to find it out, for he has this day been +promoted to the rank of Commander." + +I almost leaped with joy when I heard this good news. I gave O'Brien's +address to the clerk, hastened away with my invaluable piece of +parchment in my hand, and set off immediately for my father's house. + +But I was met with sorrow. My mother had been taken severely ill, and I +found the house in commotion--doctors, and apothecaries, and nurses, +running to and fro, my father in a state of excitement, and my dear +sister in tears. Spasm succeeded spasm; and although every remedy was +applied, the next evening she breathed her last. I will not attempt to +describe the grief of my father, who appeared to feel remorse at his +late unkind treatment of her, my sister, and myself. These scenes must +be imagined by those who have suffered under similar bereavements. I +exerted myself to console my poor sister, who appeared to cling to me as +to her only support, and, after the funeral was over, we recovered our +tranquillity, although the mourning was still deeper in our hearts than +in our outward dress. I had written to O'Brien to announce the mournful +intelligence, and, like a true friend, he immediately made his +appearance to console me. + +O'Brien had received the letter from the Admiralty, acquainting him with +his promotion; and, two days after he arrived, went to take up his +commission. I told him frankly by what means he had obtained it, and he +again concluded his thanks by a reference to the mistake of the former +supposition, that of my being "the fool of the family." + +"By the powers, it would be well for any man if he had a few of such +foolish friends about him," continued he; "but I won't blarney you, +Peter; you know what my opinion always has been, so we'll say no more +about it." + +When he came back, we had a long consultation as to the best method of +proceeding to obtain employment, for O'Brien was anxious to be again +afloat, and so was I. I regretted parting with my sister, but my father +was so morose and ill-tempered, that I had no pleasure at home, except +in her company. Indeed, my sister was of opinion, that it would be +better if I were away, as my father's misanthropy, now unchecked by my +mother, appeared to have increased, and he seemed to view me with +positive dislike. It was, therefore, agreed unanimously between my +sister, and me, and O'Brien, who was always of our councils, that it +would be advisable that I should be again afloat. + +"I can manage him much better when alone, Peter; I shall have nothing to +occupy me, and take me away from him, as your presence does now; and, +painful as it is to part with you, my duty to my father, and my wish for +your advancement, induce me to request that you will, if possible, find +some means of obtaining employment." + +"Spoken like a hero, as ye are, Miss Ellen, notwithstanding your pretty +face and soft eyes," said O'Brien. "And now, Peter, for the means to +bring it about. If I can get a ship, there is no fear for you, as I +shall choose you for my lieutenant; but how is that to be managed? Do +you think that you can come over the old gentleman at Eagle Park?" + +"At all events, I'll try," replied I; "I can but be floored, O'Brien." + +Accordingly, the next day I set off for my grandfather's, and was put +down at the lodge, at the usual hour, about eleven o'clock. I walked up +the avenue, and knocked at the door: when it was opened, I perceived a +hesitation among the servants, and a constrained air, which I did not +like. I inquired after Lord Privilege--the answer was, that he was +pretty well, but did not see _any_ body. + +"Is my uncle here?" said I. + +"Yes, sir," replied the servant, with a significant look, "and all his +family are here too." + +"Are you sure that I cannot see my _grandfather_" said I, laying a +stress upon the word. + +"I will tell him that you are here, sir," replied the man, "but even +that is against orders." + +I had never seen my uncle since I was a child, and could not even +recollect him--my cousins, or my aunt, I had never met with. In a minute +an answer was brought, requesting that I would walk into the library. +When I was ushered in, I found myself in the presence of Lord Privilege, +who sat in his usual place, and a tall gentleman, whom I knew at once to +be my uncle, from his likeness to my father. + +"Here is the young gentleman, my lord," said my uncle, looking at me +sternly. + +"Heh! what--oh? I recollect. Well, child, so you've been behaving very +ill--sorry to hear it. Good-bye." + +"Behaving ill, my lord!" replied I. "I am not aware of having so done." + +"Reports are certainly very much against you, nephew," observed my +uncle, drily. "Some one has told your grandfather what has much +displeased him. I know nothing about it myself." + +"Then some rascal has slandered me, sir," replied I. + +My uncle started at the word rascal; and then recovering himself, +replied, "Well, nephew, what is it that you require of Lord Privilege, +for I presume this visit is not without a cause?" + +"Sir," replied I, "my visit to Lord Privilege was, first to thank him +for having procured me my commission as lieutenant, and to request the +favour that he would obtain me active employment, which a line from him +will effect immediately." + +"I was not aware, nephew, that you had been made lieutenant; but I agree +with you, that the more you are at sea the better. His lordship shall +sign the letter. Sit down." + +"Shall I write it, sir?" said I to my uncle: "I know what to say." + +"Yes; and bring it to me when it is written." + +I felt convinced that the only reason which induced my uncle to obtain +me employment was the idea that I should be better out of the way, and +that there was more risk at sea than on shore. I took a sheet of paper, +and wrote as follows:-- + + "My LORD,--May I request that your lordship will be pleased to + appoint the bearer of this to a ship, as soon as convenient, as I wish + him to be actively employed. + + "I am, my lord, &c, &c." + +"Why not mention your name?" + +"It is of no consequence," replied I, "as it will be delivered in +person, and that will insure my speedy appointment." + +The letter was placed before his lordship for signature. It was with +some difficulty that he was made to understand that he was to sign it. +The old gentleman appeared much more imbecile than when I last saw him. +I thanked him, folded up the letter, and put it in my pocket. At last he +looked at me, and a sudden flash of recollection appeared to come across +his mind. + +"Well child so you escaped from the French prison--heh! and how's your +friend--what is his name, heh?" + +"O'Brien, my lord." + +"O'Brien!" cried my uncle, "he is _your_ friend; then, sir, I presume it +is to you that I am indebted for all the inquiries and reports which are +so industriously circulated in Ireland--the tampering with my servants-- +and other impertinences?" + +I did not choose to deny the truth, although I was a little fluttered by +the sudden manner in which it came to light. I replied, "I never tamper +with any people's servants, sir." + +"No," said he, "but you employ others so to do. I discovered the whole +of your proceedings after the scoundrel left for England." + +"If you apply the word scoundrel _to_ Captain O'Brien, sir, in his name +I contradict it." + +"As you please, sir," replied my uncle, in a passion; "but you will +oblige me by quitting this house immediately, and expect nothing more, +either from the present or the future Lord Privilege, except that +retaliation which your infamous conduct has deserved." + +I felt much irritated, and replied very sharply, "From the present Lord +Privilege I certainly expect nothing more, neither do I from his +successor; but after your death, uncle, I expect that the person who +succeeds to the title will do all he can for your humble servant. I wish +you a good morning, uncle." + +My uncle's eyes flashed fire as I finished my speech, which indeed was a +very bold, and a very foolish one too, as it afterwards proved. I +hastened out of the room, not only from the fear of being turned out of +the house before all the servants, but also from the dread that my +letter to the First Lord might be taken from me by force; but I shall +never forget the scowl of vengeance which crossed my uncle's brows, as I +turned round and looked at him as I shut the door. I found my way out +without the assistance of the servants, and hastened home as fast as I +could. + +"O'Brien," said I, on my return, "there is no time to be lost; the +sooner you hasten to town with this letter of introduction, the better +it will be, for depend upon it my uncle will do me all the harm that he +can." I then repeated to him all that had passed, and it was agreed that +O'Brien should take the letter, which, having reference to the bearer, +would do as well for him as for me; and, if O'Brien obtained an +appointment, I was sure not only of being one of his lieutenants, but +also of sailing with a dear friend. The next morning O'Brien set off for +London, and fortunately saw the First Lord the day after his arrival, +which was a levee day. The First Lord received the letter from O'Brien, +and requested him to sit down. He then read it, inquired after his +lordship, asked whether his health was good, &c. + +O'Brien replied, "that with the blessing of God, his lordship might live +many years: that he had never heard him complain of ill health." All +which was not false, if not true. I could not help observing to O'Brien, +when he returned home and told me what had passed, "that I thought, +considering what he had expressed with respect to white lies and black +lies, that he had not latterly adhered to his own creed." + +"That's very true, Peter; and I've thought of it myself, but it is my +creed nevertheless. We all know what's right, but we don't always follow +it. The fact is, I begin to think that it is absolutely necessary to +fight the world with its own weapons. I spoke to Father M'Grath on the +subject, and he replied--'That if anyone, by doing wrong, necessitated +another to do wrong to circumvent him, that the first party was +answerable, not only for his own sin, but also for the sin committed in +self-defence." + +"But, O'Brien, I do not fix my faith so implicitly upon Father M'Grath; +and I do not much admire many of his directions." + +"No more do I, Peter, when I think upon them; but how am I to puzzle my +head upon these points? All I know is, that when you are divided between +your inclination and your duty, it's mighty convenient to have a priest +like Father M'Grath to decide for you, and to look after your soul into +the bargain." + +It occurred to me that I myself, when finding fault with O'Brien, had, +in the instance of both the letters from Lord Privilege, been also +guilty of deceit. I was therefore blaming him for the same fault +committed by myself; and I am afraid that I was too ready in consoling +myself with Father M'Grath's maxim, "that one might do evil that good +might come." But to return to O'Brien's interview. + +After some little conversation, the First Lord said, "Captain O'Brien, I +am always very ready to oblige Lord Privilege, and the more so as his +recommendation is of an officer of your merit. In a day or two, if you +call at the Admiralty, you will hear further." O'Brien wrote to us +immediately, and we waited with impatience for his next letter: but, +instead of the letter, he made his appearance on the third day, and +first hugged me in his arms, he then came to my sister, embraced her, +and skipped and danced about the room. + +"What is the matter, O'Brien?" said I, while Ellen retreated in +confusion. + +O'Brien pulled a parchment out of his pocket. "Here, Peter, my dear +Peter; now for honour and glory. An eighteen-gun brig, Peter. The +_Rattlesnake_--Captain O'Brien--West India station. By the holy father! +my heart's bursting with joy!" and down he sank into an easy chair. +"A'n't I almost beside myself?" inquired he, after a short pause. + +"Ellen thinks so, I dare say," replied I, looking at my sister, who +stood in the corner of the room, thinking O'Brien was really out of his +senses, and still red with confusion. + +O'Brien, who then called to mind what a slip of decorum he had been +guilty of, immediately rose, and resuming his usual unsophisticated +politeness, as he walked up to my sister, took her hand, and said, +"Excuse me, my dear Miss Ellen; I must apologize for my rudeness; but my +delight was so great, and my gratitude to your brother so intense, that +I am afraid that in my warmth I allowed the expression of my feelings to +extend to one so dear to him, and so like him in person and in mind. +Will you only consider that you received the overflowings of a grateful +heart towards your brother, and for his sake pardon my indiscretion?" + +Ellen smiled, and held out her hand to O'Brien, who led her to the sofa, +where we all three sat down: and he then commenced a more intelligible +narrative of what had passed. He had called on the day appointed, and +sent up his card. The First Lord could not see him, but referred him to +the private secretary, who presented him with his commission to the +_Rattlesnake_, eighteen-gun brig. The secretary smiled most graciously, +and told O'Brien in confidence that he would proceed to the West India +station as soon as his vessel was manned and ready for sea. He inquired +of O'Brien whom he wished as his first lieutenant. O'Brien replied that +he wished for me; but as, in all probability, I should not be of +sufficient standing to be first lieutenant, that the Admiralty might +appoint any other to the duty, provided I joined the ship. The secretary +made a minute of O'Brien's wish, and requested him, if he had a vacancy +to spare as midshipman, to allow him to send one on board; to which +O'Brien willingly acceded, shook hands with him, and O'Brien quitted the +Admiralty to hasten down to us with the pleasing intelligence. + +"And now," said O'Brien, "I have made up my mind how to proceed. I shall +first run down to Plymouth and hoist my pennant; then I shall ask for a +fortnight's leave, and go to Ireland to see how they get on, and what +Father M'Grath may be about. So, Peter, let's pass this evening as +happily as we can; for though you and I shall soon meet again, yet it +may be years, or perhaps never, that we three shall sit down on the same +sofa as we do now." + +Ellen, who was still nervous, from the late death of my mother, looked +down, and I perceived the tears start in her eyes at the remark of +O'Brien, that perhaps we should never meet again. And I did pass a happy +evening. I had a dear sister on one side of me, and a sincere friend on +the other. How few situations more enviable! + +O'Brien left us early the next morning; and at breakfast-time a letter +was handed to my father. It was from my uncle, coldly communicating to +him that Lord Privilege had died the night before, very suddenly, and +informing him that the burial would take place on that day week, and +that the will would be opened immediately after the funeral. My father +handed the letter over to me without saying a word, and sipped his tea +with his tea-spoon. I cannot say that I felt very much on the occasion; +but I did feel, because he had been kind to me at one time: as for my +father's feelings, I could not--or rather I should say, I did not wish +to analyze them. As soon as he had finished his cup of tea, he left the +breakfast-table, and went into his study. I then communicated the +intelligence to my sister Ellen. + +"My God!" said she, after a pause, putting her hand up to her eyes; +"what a strange unnatural state of society must we have arrived at, when +my father can thus receive the intelligence of a parent's death! Is it +not dreadful?" + +"It is, my dearest girl," replied I; "but every feeling has been +sacrificed to worldly considerations and an empty name. The younger sons +have been neglected, if not deserted. Virtue, talent, everything set at +naught--intrinsic value despised--and the only claim to consideration +admitted, that of being the heir entail. When all the ties of nature are +cast loose by the parents, can you be surprised if the children are no +longer bound by them? Most truly do you observe, that it is a detestable +state of society." + +"I did not say detestable, brother; I said strange and unnatural." + +"Had you said what I said, Ellen, you would not have been wrong. I would +not for the title and wealth which it brings, be the heartless, +isolated, I may say neglected being that my grandfather was; were it +offered now, I would not barter for it Ellen's love." + +Ellen threw herself in my arms; we then walked into the garden, where we +had a long conversation relative to our future wishes, hopes, and +prospects. + + + + +Chapter XLI + +Pompous obsequies--The reading of the will, not exactly after Wilkie--I +am left a legacy--What becomes of it--My father, very warm, writes a +sermon to cool himself--I join O'Brien's brig, and fall in with +Swinburne. + + +On that day week I accompanied my father to Eagle Park, to assist at the +burial of Lord Privilege. We were ushered into the room where the body +had laid in state for three days. The black hangings, the lofty plumes, +the rich ornaments on the coffin, and the number of wax candles with +which the room was lighted, produced a solemn and grand effect. I could +not help, as I leaned against the balustrade before the coffin and +thought of its contents, calling to mind when my poor grandfather's +feelings seemed, as it were, inclined to thaw in my favour, when he +called me "his child," and, in all probability, had not my uncle had a +son, would have died in my arms, fond and attached to me for my own +sake, independently of worldly considerations. I felt that had I known +him longer, I could have loved him, and that he would have loved me; and +I thought to myself, how little all these empty honours, after his +decease, could compensate for the loss of those reciprocal feelings, +which would have so added to his happiness during his existence. But he +had lived for pomp and vanity; and pomp and vanity attended him to his +grave. I thought of my sister Ellen, and of O'Brien, and walked away +with the conviction that Peter Simple might have been an object of envy +to the late Right Honourable Lord Viscount Privilege, Baron Corston, +Lord Lieutenant of the county, and one of His Majesty's Most Honourable +Privy Councillors. + +When the funeral, which was very tedious and very splendid, was over, we +all returned in the carriages to Eagle Park, when my uncle, who had of +course assumed the title, and who had attended as chief mourner, was in +waiting to receive us. We were shown into the library, and in the chair +so lately and constantly occupied by my grandfather, sat the new lord. +Near to him were the lawyers, with parchments lying before them. As we +severally entered, he waved his hand to unoccupied chairs, intimating to +us to sit down; but no words were exchanged, except an occasional +whisper between him and the lawyers. When all the branches of the family +were present, down to the fourth and fifth cousins, the lawyer on the +right of my uncle put on his spectacles, and unrolling the parchment +commenced reading the will. I paid attention to it at first; but the +legal technicalities puzzled me, and I was soon thinking of other +matters, until after half an hour's reading, I was startled at the sound +of my own name. It was a bequest by codicil to me, of the sum of ten +thousand pounds. My father who sat by me, gave me a slight push, to +attract my attention; and I perceived that his face was not quite so +mournful as before. I was rejoicing at this unexpected intelligence. I +called to mind what my father had said to me when we were returning from +Eagle Park, "that my grandfather's attentions to me were as good as ten +thousand pounds in his will," and was reflecting how strange it was that +he had hit upon the exact sum. I also thought of what my father had said +of his own affairs, and his not having saved anything for his children, +and congratulated myself that I should now be able to support my dear +sister Ellen, in case of any accident happening to my father, when I was +roused by another mention of my name. It was a codicil dated about a +week back, in which my grandfather, not pleased at my conduct, revoked +the former codicil, and left me nothing. I knew where the blow came +from, and I looked my uncle in the face; a gleam of malignant pleasure +was in his eyes, which had been fixed on me, waiting to receive my +glance. I returned it with a smile expressive of scorn and contempt, and +then looked at my father, who appeared to be in a state of misery. His +head had fallen upon his breast, and his hands were clasped. Although I +was shocked at the blow, for I knew how much the money was required, I +felt too proud to show it; indeed, I felt that I would not for worlds +have exchanged situations with my uncle, much less feelings; for when +those who remain meet to ascertain the disposition made, by one who is +summoned away to the tribunal of his Maker, of those worldly and +perishable things which he must leave behind him, feelings of rancour +and ill-will might, for the time, be permitted to subside, and the +memory of a "departed brother" be productive of charity and good-will. +After a little reflection, I felt that I could forgive my uncle. + +Not so my father; the codicil which deprived me of my inheritance, was +the last of the will, and the lawyer rolled up the parchment and took +off his spectacles. Everybody rose; my father seized his hat, and +telling me in a harsh voice to follow him, tore off the crape weepers, +and then threw them on the floor as he walked away. I also took off +mine, and laid them on the table, and followed him. My father called his +carriage, waited in the hall till it was driven up, and jumped into it. +I followed him; he drew up the blind, and desired them to drive home. + +"Not a sixpence! By the God of heaven, not a sixpence! My name not even +mentioned, except for a paltry mourning ring! And yours--pray sir, what +have you been about, after having such a sum left you, to forfeit your +grandfather's good opinion? Heh! sir--tell me directly," continued he, +turning round to me in a rage. + +"Nothing, my dear father, that I'm aware of. My uncle is evidently my +enemy." + +"And why should he be particularly your enemy? Peter, there must be some +reason for his having induced your grandfather to alter his bequest in +your favour. I insist upon it, sir, that you tell me immediately." + +"My dear father, when you are more calm, I will talk this matter over +with you. I hope I shall not be considered wanting in respect, when I +say, that as a clergyman of the church of England--" + +"D--n the church of England, and those that put me into it!" replied my +father, maddened with rage. + +I was shocked, and held my tongue. My father appeared also to be +confused at his hasty expressions. He sank back in his carriage, and +preserved a gloomy silence until we arrived at our own door. As soon as +we entered, my father hastened to his own room, and I went up to my +sister Ellen, who was in her bed room. I revealed to her all that had +passed, and advised with her on the propriety of my communicating to my +father the reasons which had occasioned my uncle's extreme aversion +towards me. After much argument, she agreed with me, that the disclosure +had now become necessary. + +After the dinner-cloth had been removed, I then communicated to my +father the circumstances which had come to our knowledge relative to my +uncle's establishment in Ireland. He heard me very attentively, took out +tablets, and made notes. + +"Well, Peter," said he, after a few minutes' silence, when I had +finished, "I see clearly through this whole business. I have no doubt +but that a child has been substituted to defraud you and me of our just +inheritance of the title and estates; but I will now set to work and try +if I cannot find out the secret; and, with the help of Captain O'Brien +and Father M'Grath, I think it is not at all impossible." + +"O'Brien will do all that he can, sir," replied I; "and I expect soon to +hear from him. He must have now been a week in Ireland." + +"I shall go there myself," replied my father; "and there are no means +that I will not resort to, to discover this infamous plot. No," +exclaimed he, striking his fist on the table, so as to shiver two of the +wine-glasses into fragments--"no means but I will resort to." + +"That is," replied I, "my dear father, no means which may be +legitimately employed by one of your profession." + +"I tell you, no means that can be used by _man_ to recover his defrauded +rights! Tell me not of legitimate means, when I am to lose a title and +property by a spurious and illegitimate substitution! By the God of +heaven, I will meet them with fraud for fraud, with false swearing for +false swearing, and with blood for blood, if it should be necessary! My +brother has dissolved all ties, and I will have my right, even if I +demand it with a pistol at his ear." + +"For Heaven's sake, my dear father, do not be so violent--recollect your +profession." + +"I do," replied he, bitterly; "and how I was forced into it against my +will. I recollect my father's words, the solemn coolness with which he +told me, 'I had my choice of the church, or--to starve.'--But I have my +sermon to prepare for to-morrow, and I can sit here no longer. Tell +Ellen to send me in some tea." + +I did not think my father was in a very fit state of mind to write a +sermon, but I held my tongue. My sister joined me, and we saw no more of +him till breakfast the next day. Before we met, I received a letter from +O'Brien. + + "MY DEAR PETER,--I ran down to Plymouth, hoisted my pennant, drew my + jollies from the dockyard, and set my first lieutenant to work getting + in the ballast and water-tanks. I then set off for Ireland, and was + very well received as Captain O'Brien by my family, who were all + flourishing. + + "Now that my two sisters are so well married off, my father and mother + are very comfortable, but rather lonely; for I believe I told you long + before, that it had pleased Heaven to take all the rest of my brothers + and sisters, except the two now married, and one who bore up for a + nunnery, dedicating her service to God, after she was scarred with the + small-pox, and no man would look at her. Ever since the family have + been grown up, my father and mother have been lamenting and sorrowing + that none of them would go off; and now that they're all gone off one + way or another, they cry all day because they are left all alone with + no one to keep company with them, except Father M'Grath and the pigs. + We never are to be contented in this world, that's sartain; and now + that they are comfortable in every respect, they find that they are + very uncomfortable, and having obtained all their wishes, they wish + everything back again; but as old Maddocks used to say, 'A good growl + is better than a bad dinner' with some people; and the greatest + pleasure that they now have is to grumble; and if that makes them + happy, they must be happy all day long--for the devil a bit do they + leave off from morning till night. + + "The first thing that I did was to send for Father M'Grath, who had + been more away from home than usual--I presume, not finding things + quite so comfortable as they used to be. He told me that he had met + with Father O'Toole, and had a bit of a dialogue with him, which had + ended in a bit of a row, and that he had cudgelled Father O'Toole + well, and tore his gown off his back, and then tore it into shivers,-- + that Father O'Toole had referred the case to the bishop, and that was + how the matter stood just then. 'But,' says he, 'the spalpeen has left + this part of the country, and, what is more, has taken Ella and her + mother with him; and what is still worse, no one could find out where + they were gone; but it was believed that they had all been sent over + the water.' So you see, Peter, that this is a bad job in one point, + which is, that we have no chance of getting the truth out of the old + woman; for now that we have war with France, who is to follow them? On + the other hand, it is good news; for it prevents me from decoying that + poor young girl, and making her believe what will never come to pass; + and I am not a little glad on that score, for Father M'Grath was told + by those who were about her, that she did nothing but weep and moan + for two days before she went away, scolded as she was by her mother, + and threatened by that blackguard O'Toole. It appears to me, that all + our hopes now are in finding out the soldier, and his wife the + wet-nurse, who were sent to India--no doubt with the hope that the + climate and the fevers may carry them off. That uncle of yours is a + great blackguard, every bit of him. I shall leave here in three days, + and you must join me at Plymouth. Make my compliments to your father, + and my regards to your sister, whom may all the saints preserve! God + bless her, for ever and ever. Amen. + + "Yours ever, + + "TERENCE O'BRIEN." + +I put this letter into my father's hands when he came out of his room. +"This is a deep-laid plot," said he, "and I think we must immediately do +as O'Brien states--look after the nurse who was sent to India. Do you +know the regiment to which her husband belongs?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I; "it is the 33rd, and she sailed for India about +three months back." + +"The name, you say, I think, is O'Sullivan," said he, pulling out his +tablets. "Well, I will write immediately to Captain Fielding, and beg +him to make the minutest inquiries. I will also write to your sister +Lucy, for women are much keener than men in affairs of this sort. If the +regiment is ordered to Ceylon, all the better: if not, he must obtain +furlough to prosecute his inquiries. When that is done, I will go myself +to Ireland, and try if we cannot trace the other parties." + +My father then left the room, and I retired with Ellen to make +preparations for joining my ship at Plymouth. A letter announcing my +appointment had come down, and I had written to request my commission to +be forwarded to the clerk of the cheque at Plymouth, that I might save a +useless journey to London. On the following day I parted with my father +and my dear sister, and, without any adventure, arrived at Plymouth +Dock, where I met with O'Brien. The same day I reported myself to the +admiral, and joined my brig, which was lying alongside the hulk with her +topmasts pointed through. Returning from the brig, as I was walking up +Fore-street, I observed a fine stout sailor, whose back was turned to +me, reading the handbill which had been posted up everywhere announcing +that the _Rattlesnake_, Captain O'Brien (about to proceed to the West +India station, where _doubloons_ were so plentiful that dollars were +only used for ballast), was in want of a _few_ stout hands. It might +have been said, of a great many: for we had not entered six men, and +were doing all the work with the marines and riggers of the dockyard; +but it is not the custom to show your poverty in this world either with +regard to men or money. I stopped, and overheard him say, "Ay, as for +the doubloons, that cock won't fight. I've served long enough in the +West Indies not to be humbugged; but I wonder whether Captain O'Brien +was the second lieutenant of the _Sanglier_. If so, I shouldn't mind +trying a cruise with him." I thought that I recollected the voice, and +touching him on the shoulder, he turned round, and it proved to be +Swinburne. "What, Swinburne!" said I, shaking him by the hand, for I was +delighted to see him, "is it you?" + +"Why, Mr Simple! Well, then, I expect that I'm right, and that Mr +O'Brien is made, and commands this craft. When you meet the pilot-fish, +the shark arn't far off, you know." + +"You're very right, Swinburne," said I, "in all except calling Captain +O'Brien a shark. He's no shark." + +"No, that he arn't, except in one way; that is, that I expect he'll soon +show his teeth to the Frenchmen. But I beg your pardon, sir;" and +Swinburne took off his hat. + +"Oh! I understand; you did not perceive before that I had shipped the +swab. Yes, I'm lieutenant of the _Rattlesnake_, Swinburne, and hope +you'll join us." + +"There's my hand upon it, Mr Simple," said he, smacking his great fist +into mine so as to make it tingle. "I'm content if I know that the +captain's a good officer; but when there's two, I think myself lucky. +I'll just take a boat, and put my name on the books, and then I'll be on +shore again to spend the rest of my money, and try if I can't pick up a +few hands as volunteers, for I know where they all be stowed away. I was +looking at the craft this morning, and rather took a fancy to her. She +has a d--d pretty run; but I hope Captain O'Brien will take off her +fiddle-head, and get one carved: I never knew a vessel do much with a +_fiddle_-head." + +"I rather think that Captain O'Brien has already applied to the +Commissioner on the subject," replied I; "at all events, it won't be +very difficult to make the alteration ourselves." + +"To be sure not," replied Swinburne; "a coil of four-inch will make the +body of the snake; I can carve out the head; and as for a _rattle_, I be +blessed if I don't rob one of those beggars of watchmen this very night. +So good-bye, Mr Simple, till we meet again." + +Swinburne kept his word; he joined the ship that afternoon, and the next +day came off with six good hands, who had been induced from his +representations to join the brig. "Tell Captain O'Brien," said he to me, +"not to be in too great a hurry to man his ship. I know where there are +plenty to be had; but I'll try fair means first." This he did, and every +day, almost, he brought off a man, and all he did bring off were good +able seamen. Others volunteered, and we were now more than half-manned, +and ready for sea. The admiral then gave us permission to send +pressgangs on shore. + +"Mr Simple," said Swinburne, "I've tried all I can to persuade a lot of +fine chaps to enter, but they won't. Now I'm resolved that my brig shall +be well manned; and if they don't know what's good for them, I do, and +I'm sure that they will thank me for it afterwards; so I'm determined to +take every mother's son of them." + +The same night we mustered all Swinburne's men and went on shore to a +crimp's house which they knew, surrounded it with our marines in blue +jackets, and took out of it twenty-three fine able seamen, which nearly +filled up our complement. The remainder we obtained by a draft from the +admiral's ship; and I do not believe that there was a vessel that left +Plymouth harbour and anchored in the Sound, better manned than the +_Rattlesnake_. So much for good character, which is never lost upon +seamen O'Brien was universally liked by those who had sailed with him, +and Swinburne, who knew him well persuaded many, and forced the others, +to enter with him, whether they liked it or not. This they in the event +did, and, with the exception of those drafted from the flag-ship, we had +no desertions. Indeed, none deserted whom we would have wished to +retain, and their vacancies were soon filled up with better men. + + + + +Chapter XLII + +We sail for the West Indies--A volunteer for the ship refused and set on +shore again, for reasons which the chapter will satisfactorily explain +to the reader. + + +We were very glad when the master-attendant came on board to take us +into the Sound; and still more glad to perceive that the brig, which had +just been launched before O'Brien was appointed to her, appeared to sail +very fast as she ran out. So it proved after we went to sea; she sailed +wonderfully well, beating every vessel that she met, and overhauling in +a very short time everything that we chased; turning to windward like +magic, and tacking in a moment. Three days after we anchored in the +Sound the ship's company were paid, and our sailing orders came down to +proceed with despatches, by next evening's post, to the island of +Jamaica. We started with a fair wind, and were soon clear of the +channel. Our whole time was now occupied in training our new ship's +company at the guns, and learning them _to pull together;_ and by the +time that we had run down the trades, we were in a very fair state of +discipline. The first lieutenant was rather an odd character; his +brother was a sporting man of large property, and he had contracted, +from his example, a great partiality for such pursuits. He knew the +winning horses of the Derby and the Oaks for twenty years back, was an +adept at all athletic exercises, a capital shot, and had his pointer on +board. In other respects, he was a great dandy in his person, always +wore gloves, even on service, very gentlemanlike and handsome, and not a +very bad sailor; that is, he knew enough to carry on his duty very +creditably, and evidently, now that he was the first lieutenant, and +obliged to work, learnt more of his duty every day. I never met a more +pleasant messmate or a more honourable young man. A brig is only allowed +two lieutenants. The master was a rough, kind-hearted, intelligent young +man, always in good humour. The surgeon and purser completed our mess; +they were men of no character at all, except, perhaps, that the surgeon +was too much of a courtier, and the purser too much of a skin-flint; but +pursers are, generally speaking, more sinned against than sinning. + +But I have been led away, while talking of the brig and the officers, +and had almost forgotten to narrate a circumstance which occurred two +days before we sailed. I was with O'Brien in the cabin, when Mr +Osbaldistone, the first lieutenant, came in, and reported that a boy had +come on board to volunteer for the ship. + +"What sort of a lad is he?" said O'Brien. + +"A very nice lad--very slight, sir," replied the first lieutenant. "We +have two vacancies." + +"Well, see what you make of him; and if you think he will do, you may +put him on the books." + +"I have tried him, sir. He says that he has been a short time at sea. I +made him mount the main-rigging, but he did not much like it." + +"Well, do as you please, Osbaldistone," replied O'Brien; and the first +lieutenant quitted the cabin. + +In about a quarter of an hour he returned. "If you please, sir," said +he, laughing, "I sent the boy down to the surgeon to be examined, and he +refused to strip. The surgeon says that he thinks she is a woman. I have +had her up on the quarter-deck, and she refuses to answer any questions, +and requires to speak with you." + +"With me!" said O'Brien, with surprise. "Oh! one of the men's wives, I +suppose, trying to steal a march upon us. Well, send her down here, +Osbaldistone, and I'll prove to her the moral impossibility of her +sailing in his Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_." + +In a few minutes the first lieutenant sent her down to the cabin door, +and I was about to retire as she entered; but O'Brien stopped me. "Stay, +Peter: my reputation will be at stake if I'm left all alone," said he, +laughing. + +The sentry opened the door, and whether boy or girl, a more interesting +face I never beheld; the hair was cut close, and I could not tell +whether the surgeon's suspicions were correct. + +"You wish to speak--holy St Patrick!" cried O'Brien, looking earnestly +at her features; and O'Brien covered his face and bent over the table, +exclaiming, "My God, my God!" + +In the meantime the colour of the young person fled from her +countenance, and then rushed into it again, alternately leaving it pale +and suffused with blushes. I perceived a trembling over the frame, the +knees shook and knocked together, and had I not hastened, she--for a +female it was--would have fallen on the deck. I perceived that she had +fainted; I therefore laid her down on the deck, and hastened to obtain +some water. O'Brien ran up and went to her. + +"My poor, poor girl!" said he, sorrowfully. "Oh! Peter, this is all your +fault." + +"All my fault! how could she have come here?" + +"By all the saints who pray for us--dearly as I prize them, I would give +up my ship and my commission, that this could be undone." + +As O'Brien hung over her, the tears from his eyes fell upon her face, +while I bathed it with the water I had brought from the dressing-room. I +knew who it must be, although I had never seen her. It was the girl to +whom O'Brien had professed love, to worm out the secret of the exchange +of my uncle's child; and as I beheld the scene I could not help saying +to myself, "Who now will assert that evil may be done that good may +come?" The poor girl showed symptoms of recovering, and O'Brien waved +his hand to me, saying, "Leave us, Peter, and see that no one comes in." + +I remained nearly an hour at the cabin-door, by the sentry, and +prevented many from entering, when O'Brien opened the door, and +requested me to order his gig to be manned and then to come in. The poor +girl had evidently been weeping bitterly, and O'Brien was much affected. + +"All is arranged, Peter; you must go on shore with her, and not leave +her till you see her safe off by the night coach. Do me that favour, +Peter--you ought indeed," continued he, in a low voice, "for you have +been partly the occasion of this." + +I shook O'Brien's hand and made no answer--the boat was reported ready, +and the girl followed me with a firm step. I pulled on shore, saw her +safe in the coach without asking her any question, and then returned on +board. + +"Come on board, sir," said I, entering the cabin with my hat in my hand, +and reporting myself according to the regulations of the service. + +"Thank you," replied O'Brien: "shut the door, Peter. Tell me, how did +she behave? What did she say?" + +"She never spoke, and I never asked her a question. She seemed to be +willing to do as you had arranged." + +"Sit down, Peter. I never felt more unhappy, or more disgusted with +myself in all my life. I feel as if I never could be happy again. A +sailor's life mixes him up with the worst part of the female sex, and we +do not know the real value of the better. I little thought when I was +talking nonsense to that poor girl, that I was breaking one of the +kindest hearts in the world, and sacrificing the happiness of one who +would lay down her existence for me, Peter. Since you have been gone, +it's twenty times that I've looked in the glass just to see whether I +don't look like a villain. But, by the blood of St Patrick! I thought +woman's _love_ was just like our own, and that a three months' cruise +would set all to rights again." + +"I thought she had gone over to France." + +"So did I; but now she has told me all about it. Father M'Dermot[1] and +her mother brought her down to the coast near here to embark in a +smuggling boat for Dieppe. When the boat pulled in-shore in the night to +take them in, the mother and the rascally priest got in, but she felt as +if it was leaving the whole world to leave the country I was in, and she +held back. The officers came down, one or two pistols were fired, and +the boat shoved off without her, and she, with their luggage, was left +on the beach. She went back to the next town with the officers, where +she told the truth of the story, and they let her go. In Father +M'Dermot's luggage she found letters, which she read, and found out that +she and her mother were to have been placed in a convent at Dieppe; and, +as the convent was named in the letters,--which she says are very +important, but I have not had courage to read them yet,--she went to +the people from whose house they had embarked, requesting them to +forward the luggage and a letter to her mother--sending everything but +the letters, which she reserved for me. She has since received a letter +from her mother, telling her that she is safe and well in the convent, +and begging her to come over to her as soon as possible. The mother took +the vows a week after she arrived there, so we know where to find her, +Peter." + +"And where is the poor girl going to stay now, O'Brien?" + +"That's all the worst part of it. It appears that she hoped not to be +found out till after we had sailed, and then to have, as she said, poor +thing! to have laid at my feet and watched over me in the storms; but I +pointed out to her that it was not permitted, and that I would not be +allowed to marry her. O Peter! this is a very sad business," continued +O'Brien, passing his hand across his eyes. + +"Well, but, O'Brien, what is to become of the poor girl?" + +"She is going home to be with my father and mother, hoping one day that +I shall come back and marry her. I have written to Father M'Grath, to +see what he can do." + +"Have you then not undeceived her?" + +"Father M'Grath must do that, I could not. It would have been the death +of her. It would have stabbed her to the heart, and it's not for me to +give that blow. I'd sooner have died--sooner have married her, than have +done it, Peter. Perhaps when I'm far away she'll bear it better. Father +M'Grath will manage it." + +"O'Brien, I don't like that Father M'Grath." + +"Well, Peter, you may be right; I don't exactly like all he says myself; +but what is a man to do?--either he is a Catholic, and believes as a +Catholic, or he is not one. Will I abandon my religion, now that it is +persecuted? Never, Peter: I hope not, without I find a much better, at +all events. Still I do not like to feel that this advice of my confessor +is at variance with my own conscience. Father M'Grath is a worldly man; +but that only proves that he is wrong, not that our religion is--and I +don't mind speaking to you on this subject. No one knows that I'm a +Catholic except yourself: and at the Admiralty they never asked me to +take that oath which I never would have taken, although Father M'Grath +says I may take any oath I please with what he calls heretics, and he +will grant me absolution. Peter, my dear fellow, say no more about it." + +I did not; but I may as well end the history of poor Ella Flanagan at +once, as she will not appear again. About three months afterwards, we +received a letter from Father M'Grath, stating that the girl had arrived +safe, and had been a great comfort to O'Brien's father and mother, who +wished her to remain with them altogether; that Father M'Grath, had told +her that when a man took his commission as captain it was all the same +as going into a monastery as a monk, for he never could marry. The poor +girl believed him, and thinking that O'Brien was lost to her for ever, +with the advice of Father M'Grath, had entered as a nun in one of the +religious houses in Ireland, that, as she said, she might pray for him +night and day. + +Many years afterwards, we heard of her--she was well, and not unhappy; +but O'Brien never forgot his behaviour to this poor girl. It was a +source of continual regret; and I believe, until the last day of his +existence, his heart smote him for his inconsiderate conduct towards +her. But I must leave this distressing topic, and return to the +_Rattlesnake_, which had now arrived at the West Indies, and joined the +Admiral at Jamaica. + +[Footnote 1: The worthy priest formerly called Father O'Toole.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter XLIII + +Description of the Coast of Martinique--Popped at for peeping--No +heroism in making oneself a target--Board a miniature Noah's Ark, under +Yankee colours--Capture a French slaver--Parrot soup in lieu of mock +turtle. + + +We found orders at Barbadoes to cruise off Martinique, to prevent +supplies being furnished to the garrison of the island, and we proceeded +there immediately. I do not know anything more picturesque than running +down the east side of this beautiful island--the ridges of hill +spreading down to the water's edge, covered with the freshest verdure, +divided at the base by small bays, with the beach of dazzling white +sand, and where the little coasting vessels employed to bring the sugar +from the neighbouring estates were riding at anchor. Each hill, at its +adjutment towards the sea, crowned with a fort, on which waved the +tri-colour--certainly, in appearance, one of the most war-like flags in +the world. + +On the third morning we had rounded the Diamond Rock, and were scudding +along the lee-side of the island just opening Fort Royal bay, when +hauling rather too close round its eastern entrance, formed by a +promontory called Solomon's Point, which was covered with brush-wood, we +found ourselves nearer than agreeable to a newly constructed battery. A +column of smoke was poured along the blue water, and it was followed by +the whizzing of a shot, which passed through our boom main sail, first +cutting away the dog-vane, which was close to old Swinburne's head, as +he stood on the carronade, conning the brig. I was at dinner in the +cabin with O'Brien and the first lieutenant. + +"Where the devil have they got the brig now?" said O'Brien, rising from +his chair, and going on deck. + +We both followed; but before we were on deck, three or four more shot +passed between the masts. "If you please, sir," said the master's mate +in charge of the deck, whose name was O'Farrell, "the battery has opened +upon us." + +"Thank you very much for your information, Mr O'Farrell," replied +O'Brien; "but the French have reported it before you. May I ask if +you've any particular fancy to be made a target of, or if you think that +His Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_ was sent here to be riddled for nothing +at all? Starboard the helm, quartermaster." + +The helm was put up, and the brig was soon run out of the fire; not, +however, until a few more shot were pitched close to us, and one carried +away the foretopmast backstay. + +"Now, Mr O'Farrell," replied O'Brien, "I only wish to point out to you +that I trust neither I nor any one in this ship cares a fig about the +whizzing of a shot or two about our ears when there is anything to be +gained for it, either for ourselves or for our country; but I do care a +great deal about losing even the leg or the arm, much more the life of +any of my men, when there's no occasion for it; so, in future, recollect +it's no disgrace to keep out of the way of a battery when all the +advantage is on their side. I've always observed that chance shots pick +out the best men. Lower down the mainsail, and send the sailmakers aft +to repair it." + +When O'Brien returned to the cabin I remained on deck, for it was my +afternoon watch; and although O'Farrell had permission to look out for +me, I did not choose to go down again. The bay of Fort Royal was now +opened, and the view was extremely beautiful. Swinburne was still on the +carronade; and as I knew he had been there before, I applied to him for +information as to the _locale_. He told me the names of the batteries +above the town, pointed out Fort Edward and Negro Point, and +particularly Pigeon Island, the battery at the top of which wore the +appearance of a mural crown. + +"It's well I remember that place, Mr Simple," said he. "It was in '94 +when I was last here. The sodgers had 'sieged it for a whole month, and +were about to give it up, 'cause they couldn't get a gun up on that 'ere +hill you see there. So poor Captain Faulkner says, 'There's many a clear +head under a tarpaulin hat, and I'll give any chap five doubloons that +will hitch up a twenty-four pounder to the top of that hill.' Not quite +so easy a matter, as you may perceive from here, Mr Simple." + +"It certainly appears to me to have been almost impossible, Swinburne," +replied I. + +"And so it did to most of us, Mr Simple; but there was one Dick Smith, +mate of a transport, who had come on shore, and he steps out, saying, +'I've been looking at your men handling that gun, and my opinion is, +that if you gets a butt, crams in a carronade, well woulded up, and fill +it with old junk and rope yarns, you might parbuckle it up to the very +top.' So Captain Faulkner pulls out five doubloons, and gives them to +him, saying, 'You deserve the money for the hint, even if it don't +succeed.' But it did succeed, Mr Simple; and the next day, to their +surprise, we opened fire on the French beggars, and soon brought their +boasting down. One of the French officers, after he was taken prisoner, +axed me how we had managed to get the gun up there; but I wasn't going +to blow the gaff, so I told him, as a great secret, that we got it up +with a kite, upon which he opened all his eyes, and crying '_sacre +bleu!_' walked away, believing all I said was true; but a'n't that a +sail we have opened with the point, Mr Simple?" + +It was so, and I reported it to O'Brien, who came up and gave chase. In +half an hour we were alongside of her, when she hoisted American +colours, and proved to be a brigantine laden up to her gunwale, which +was not above a foot out of the water. Her cargo consisted of what the +Americans called _notions_; that is, in English, an assorted cargo. +Half-way up her masts down to the deck were hung up baskets containing +apples, potatoes, onions, and nuts of various kinds. Her deck was +crowded with cattle, sheep, pigs, and donkeys. Below was full of +shingle, lumber, and a variety of different articles too numerous to +mention. I boarded her, and asked the master whither he was bound? + +"Why," replied he, "I am bound for a market--nowise particular; and I +guess you won't stop me." + +"Not if all's right," replied I; "but I must look at your log." + +"Well, I've a notion there's no great objection to that," replied he; +and he brought it up on deck. + +I had no great time to examine it, but I could not help being amused at +the little I did read, such as--"Horse latitudes--water very short-- +killed white-faced bullock--caught a dolphin, and ate him for dinner-- +broached molasses cask No. I, letter A. Fine night--saw little round +things floating on the water--took up a bucket full--guessed they were +pearls--judge I guessed wrong, only little Portuguese men-of-war--threw +them overboard again--heard a scream, guessed it was a mermaid--looked +out, saw nothing. Witnessed a very strange rippling ahead--calculated it +might be the sea-serpent--stood on to see him plain, and nearly ran on +Barbuda. Hauled off again--met a Britisher--treated _politely_." + +Having overhauled his log, I then begged to overhaul his men to +ascertain if there were any Englishmen among his crew. This was not +pleasing, and he grumbled very much; but they were ordered aft. One man +I was satisfied was an Englishman, and told him so; but the man as well +as the master persisted to the contrary. Nevertheless, I resolved to +take him on board for O'Brien to decide, and ordered him into the boat. + +"Well, if you will use force, I can't help it. My decks an't clear as +you see, or else--I tell you what, Mr Lieutenant, your vessel there will +be another _Hermione_, I've a notion, if you presses true-blooded +Yankees; and, what's more, the States will take it up, as sure as +there's snakes in Virginny." + +Notwithstanding this remonstrance, I took them on board to O'Brien, who +had a long conversation with the American in the cabin. When they +returned on deck he was allowed to depart with his man, and we again +made sail. I had the first watch that night, and as we ran along the +coast I perceived a vessel under the high land in what the sailors +called the _doldrums_; that is, almost becalmed, or her sails flapping +about in every direction with the eddying winds. We steered for her, and +were very soon in the same situation, not more than a quarter of a mile +from her. The quarter-boat was lowered down, and I proceeded to board +her; but as she was large and rakish, O'Brien desired me to be careful, +and if there was the least show of resistance to return. As I pulled up +to her bows they hailed me in French, and desired me to keep off, or +they would fire. This was quite sufficient; and, in obedience to my +orders, I returned to the brig and reported to O'Brien. We lowered down +all the quarter-boats, and towed round the brig's broadside to her, and +then gave her half a dozen carronades of round and grape. Hearing great +noise and confusion on board after we had ceased firing, O'Brien again +sent me to know if they had surrendered. They replied in the +affirmative, and I boarded her. She proved to be the _Commerce de +Bordeaux_, with three hundred and thirty slaves on board, out of five +hundred embarked from the coast, bound to Martinique. The crew were very +sickly, and were most of them in their hammocks. Latterly, they had been +killing parrots to make soup for them; a few that were left, of the grey +species, spoke remarkably well. When they left the coast they had nearly +one thousand parrots on board. + +O'Brien perceiving that I had taken possession, sent another boat to +know what the vessel was. I desired the surgeon to be sent on board, as +some of the men and many of the poor slaves were wounded by our shot. Of +all the miserable objects, I know of none to be compared to the poor +devils of slaves on board of a slave vessel: the state of suffocation +between decks--the dreadful stench arising from their filth, which is +hardly ever cleared away--the sick lying without help, and looked upon +by those who are stronger with the utmost indifference--men, women, and +children, all huddled and crowded together in a state of nudity, worn to +skin and bone from stench, starvation, and living in an atmosphere that +none but a negro could exist in. If all that occurs in a slave-ship were +really known, I think it would be acknowledged that to make the +slave-trade piracy would be nothing more than a just retribution; and +this is certain, that unless it be made piracy, it never will be +discontinued. + +By daylight the vessel was ready, and O'Brien determined to take her to +Dominica, so that the poor devils might be immediately sent on shore. We +anchored with her, in a few days, in Prince Rupert's Bay, where we only +had twenty-four hours to obtain some refreshments and arrange about our +prize, which I hardly need say was of some value. + +During the short time that I was on shore, purchasing some fowls and +vegetables for O'Brien and our own mess, I was amused at witnessing a +black serjeant drilling some of his regiment of free negroes and +mulattoes. He appeared resolved to make the best appearance that he +could, for he began by saying, "You hab shoe and 'tocking, stand in +front--you hab shoe no 'tocking, stand in centre--you hab no shoe no +'tocking, stand in um rear. Face to mountain--back to sea-beach. Why you +no 'tep out, sar?--you hangman!" + +I was curious to count the numbers qualified for the front rank: there +were only two mulattoes. In the second rank there were also only two. No +shoe and no 'tocking appeared to be the fashion. As usual, we were +surrounded by the negroes; and although we had been there but a few +hours, they had a song composed for us, which they constantly +repeated:-- + + "Don't you see the _Rattlesnake_ + Coming under sail? + Don't you see the _Rattlesnake_ + With prizes at um tail?--' +_Rattlesnake_ hab all the money--ding, ding-- +She shall have all that's funny, ding, ding!" + + + + +Chapter XLIV + +Money can purchase anything in the new country--American information not +always to be depended upon--A night attack; we are beaten off--It proves +a _cut up_, instead of a _cut out_--After all, we save something out of +the fire. + + +The next morning we weighed anchor, and returned to our station off +Martinique. We had run within three miles of St Pierre's when we +discovered a vessel coming out under jury-masts. She steered directly +for us, and we made her out to be the American brigantine which we had +boarded some time before. O'Brien sent a boat to bring the master of her +on board. + +"Well, captain," said he, "so you met with a squall?" + +"I calculate not," replied he. + +"Why, then, what the devil have you been about?" + +"Why, I guess I sold all my cargo, and, what's more, I've sold my +masts." + +"Sold your masts! who did you sell them to?" + +"To an almighty pretty French privateer lying in St Pierre's, which had +lost her spars when she was chased by one of your brass-bottomed +sarpents; and I've a notion they paid pretty handsomely too." + +"But how do you mean to get home again?" + +"I calculate to get into the _stream_, and then I'll do very well. If I +meet a nor-wester, why then I'll make a signal of distress, and some one +will tow me in, I guess." + +"Well," replied O'Brien, "but step down into the cabin and take +something, captain." + +"With particular pleasure," replied this strange mortal; and down they +went. + +In about half an hour they returned on deck, and the boat took the +American on board. Soon afterwards, O'Brien desired Osbaldistone and +myself to step down into the cabin. The chart of the harbour of St +Pierre's lay on the table, and O'Brien said, "I have had a long +conversation with the American, and he states that the privateer is at +anchor in this spot" (pointing to a pencil-mark on the chart). "If so, +she is well out; and I see no difficulty in capturing her. You see that +she lays in four fathoms water, and so close under the outer battery, +that the guns could not be pointed down upon the boats. I have also +inquired if they keep a good look-out, and the American says that they +feel so secure that they keep no look-out at all; that the captain and +officers belonging to her are on shore all night, drinking, smoking, and +boasting of what they will do. Now the question is, whether this report +be correct. The American has been well-treated by us, and I see no +reason to doubt him; indeed, he gave the information voluntarily, as if +he wished to serve us." + +I allowed Osbaldistone to speak first: he coincided with O'Brien. I did +not: the very circumstance of her requiring new masts made me doubt the +truth of his assertion as to where she lay; and if one part of his story +was false, why not the whole? O'Brien appeared struck with my argument, +and it was agreed that if the boats did go away, it should be for a +reconnoissance, and that the attempt should only be made, provided it +was found that the privateer laid in the same spot pointed out by the +American master. It was, however, decided that the reconnoissance should +take place that very night, as, allowing the privateer to be anchored on +the spot supposed, there was every probability that she would not remain +there, but haul further in, to take in her new masts. The news that an +expedition was at hand was soon circulated through the ship, and all the +men had taken their cutlasses from the capstern to get them ready for +action. The lighting boats' crews, without orders, were busy with their +boats, some cutting up old blankets to muffle the oars, other making new +grummets. The ship's company were as busy as bees, bustling and buzzing +about the decks, and reminding you of the agitation which takes place in +a hive previous to a swarm. At last, Osbaldistone came on deck, and +ordered the boats' crews to be piped away, and prepare for service. He +was to have the command of the expedition in the launch--I had charge of +the first cutter--O'Farrell of the second, and Swinburne had the charge +of the jolly-boat. At dusk, the head of the brig was again turned +towards St Pierre's, and we ran slowly in. At ten we hove-to, and about +eleven the boats were ordered to haul up, O'Brien repeating his orders +to Mr Osbaldistone, not to make the attempt if the privateer were found +to be anchored close to the town. The men were all mustered on the +quarter-deck, to ascertain if they had the distinguishing mark on their +jackets, that is, square patches of canvas sewed on the left arm, so +that we might recognize friend from foe--a very necessary precaution in +a night expedition; and then they were manned, and ordered to shove off. +The oars were dropped in the water, throwing out a phosphorescent light, +so common in that climate, and away we went. After an hour's pulling, +Osbaldistone lay on his oars in the launch, and we closed with him. + +"We are now at the mouth of the harbour," said he, "and the most perfect +silence must be observed." + +"At the mouth of the harbour, sir!" said Swinburne; "I reckon we are +more than half way in; we passed the point at least ten minutes ago, and +this is the second battery we are now abreast of." + +To this Osbaldistone did not agree, nor indeed did I think that +Swinburne was right; but he persisted in it, and pointed out to us the +lights in the town, which were now all open to us, and which would not +be the case if we were only at the mouth of the harbour. Still we were +of a different opinion, and Swinburne, out of respect to his officers, +said no more. + +We resumed our oars, pulling with the greatest caution; the night was +intensely dark, and we could distinguish nothing. After pulling ten +minutes more, we appeared to be close to the lights in the town; still +we could see no privateer or any other vessel. Again we lay upon our +oars, and held a consultation. Swinburne declared that if the privateer +laid where we supposed, we had passed her long ago; but while we were +debating, O'Farrell cried out, "I see her," and he was right--she was +not more than a cable's length from us. Without waiting for orders, +O'Farrell desired his men to give way, and dashed alongside of the +privateer. Before he was half-way on board of her, lights flew about in +every direction, and a dozen muskets were discharged. We had nothing to +do but to follow him, and in a few seconds we were all alongside of her; +but she was well prepared, and on the alert. Boarding nettings were +triced up all round, every gun had been depressed as much as possible, +and she appeared to be full of men. A scene of confusion and slaughter +now occurred, which I trust never again to witness. All our attempts to +get on board were unavailing; if we tried at a port, a dozen pikes +thrust us back; if we attempted the boarding nettings, we were thrown +down, killed or wounded, into the boats. From every port, and from the +decks of the privateer, the discharge of musketry was incessant. Pistols +were protruded and fired in our faces, while occasionally her carronades +went off, stunning us with their deafening noise, and rocking the boats +in the disturbed water, if they had no other effect. For ten minutes our +exertions never ceased; at last, with half our numbers lying killed and +wounded in the bottom of the boats, the men, worn out and dispirited at +their unavailing attempts, sat down most of them on the boats' thwarts, +loading their muskets, and discharging them into the ports. Osbaldistone +was among the wounded; and perceiving that he was not in the launch, of +whose crew not six remained, I called to Swinburne, who was alongside of +me, and desired him to tell the other boats to make the best of their +way out of the harbour. This was soon communicated to the survivors, who +would have continued the unequal contest to the last man, if I had not +given the order. The launch and second cutter shoved off--O'Farrell also +having fallen; and, as soon as they were clear of the privateer, and had +got their oars to pass, I proceeded to do the same, amidst the shouts +and yells of the Frenchmen, who now jumped on their gunwale and pelted +us with their musketry, cheering, and mocking us. + +"Stop, sir," cried Swinburne, "we'll have a bit of revenge;" so saying, +he hauled-to the launch, and wending her bow to the privateer, directed +her carronade--which they had no idea that we had on board, as we had +not fired it--to where the Frenchmen were crowded the thickest. + +"Stop one moment, Swinburne; put another dose of canister in." We did +so, and then discharged the gun, which had the most murderous effect, +bringing the major part of them down upon the deck. I feel convinced, +from the cries and groans which followed, that if we had had a few more +men, we might have returned and captured the privateer; but it was too +late. The batteries were all lighted up, and although they could not see +the boats, fired in the direction where they supposed us to be; for they +were aware, from the shouting on board the vessel, that we had been +beaten off. The launch had but six hands capable of taking an oar; the +first cutter had but four. In my own boat I had five. Swinburne had two +besides himself in the jolly-boat. + +"This is a sorry business, sir," said Swinburne; "now, what's best to be +done? My idea is, that we had better put all the wounded men into the +launch, man the two cutters and jolly-boat, and tow her off. And, Mr +Simple, instead of keeping on this side, as they will expect in the +batteries, let us keep close in-shore, upon the near side, and their +shot will pass over us." + +This advice was too good not to be followed. It was now two o'clock, and +we had a long pull before us, and no time to lose: we lifted the dead +bodies and the wounded men out of the two cutters and jolly-boat into +the launch. I had no time for examination, but I perceived that +O'Farrell was quite dead, and also a youngster of the name of Pepper, +who must have smuggled himself into the boats. I did, however, look for +Osbaldistone, and found him in the stern sheets of the launch. He had +received a deep wound in the breast, apparently with a pike. He was +sensible, and asked me for a little water, which I procured from the +breaker which was in the launch, and gave it to him. At the word water, +and hearing it poured out from the breaker, many of the wounded men +faintly called out for some. Having no time to spare, I left two men in +the launch, one to steer and the other to give them water, and then +taking her in tow, pulled directly in for the batteries, as advised by +Swinburne, who now sat alongside of me. + +As soon as we were well in-shore, I pulled out of the harbour, with +feelings not by any means enviable. Swinburne said to me in a low voice, +"This will be a hard blow for the captain, Mr Simple. I've always been +told, that a young captain losing his men without bringing any dollars +to his admiral, is not very well received." + +"I am more sorry for him than I can well express, Swinburne," replied I; +"but--what is that a-head--a vessel under weigh?" + +Swinburne stood up in the stern of the cutter, and looked for a few +seconds. "Yes, a large ship standing in under royals--she must be a +Frenchman. Now's our time, sir; so long as we don't go out empty-handed, +all will be well. Oars, all of you. Shall we cast off the launch, sir?" + +"Yes," replied I; "and now, my lads, let us only have the vessel, and we +shall do. She is a merchantman, that's clear (not that I was sure of +it). Swinburne, I think it will be better to let her pass us in-shore; +they will all be looking out of the other side, for they must have seen +the firing." + +"Well thought of, sir," replied Swinburne. + +We laid on our oars, and let her pass us, which she did, creeping in at +the rate of two miles an hour. We then pulled for her quarter in the +three boats, leaving the launch behind us, and boarded. As we premised, +the crew were on deck, and all on the other side of the vessel, so +anxiously looking at the batteries, which were still firing occasional +random shot, that they did not perceive us until we were close to them, +and then they had no time to seize their arms. There were several ladies +on board; some of the people protected them, others ran below. In two +minutes we had possession of her, and had put her head the other way. To +our surprise we found that she mounted fourteen guns. One hatch we left +open for the ladies, some of whom had fainted, to be taken down below; +the others were fastened down by Swinburne. As soon as we had the deck +to ourselves, we manned one of the cutters, and sent it for the launch; +and as soon as she was made fast alongside, we had time to look about +us. The breeze freshened, and, in half an hour, we were out of gun-shot +of all the batteries. I then had the wounded men taken out of the +launch, and Swinburne and the other men bound up their wounds, and made +them as comfortable as they could. + + + + +Chapter XLV + +Some remarkable occurrences take place in the letter of marque--Old +friends with improved faces--The captor a captive; but not carried away, +though the captive is, by the ship's boat--The whole chapter a mixture +of love, war, and merchandise. + + +We had had possession of the vessel about an hour, when the man who was +sentry over the hatchway told me that one or the prisoners wished to +speak with the English commanding officer, and asked leave to come on +deck. I gave permission, and a gentleman came up, stating that he was a +passenger; that the ship was a letter of marque, from Bordeaux; that +there were seven lady passengers on board, who had come out to join +their husbands and families; and that he trusted I would have no +objection to put them on shore, as women could hardly be considered as +objects of warfare. As I knew that O'Brien would have done so, and that +he would be glad to get rid of both women and prisoners if he could, I +replied "Most certainly;" that I would heave-to, that they might not +have so far to pull on shore, and that I would permit the ladies and +other passengers to go on shore. I begged that they would be as quick as +possible in getting their packages ready, and that I would give them two +of the boats belonging to the ship, with a sufficient number of French +seamen belonging to her to man the boats. The Frenchman was very +grateful, thanked me in the name of the ladies, and went down below to +impart the intelligence. I then hove-to, lowered down the boats from the +quarters, and waited for them to come up. It was daylight before they +were ready, but that I did not care about; I saw the brig in the offing +about seven miles off, and I was well clear of the batteries. At last +they made their appearance, one by one coming up the ladder, escorted by +French gentlemen. They had to wait while the packages and bundles were +put into the boats. The first sight which struck them with horror was +the many dead and wounded Englishmen lying on the decks. Expressing +their commiseration, I told them that we had attempted to take the +privateer, and had been repulsed, and that it was coming out of the +harbour that I had fallen in with their ship and captured it. All the +ladies had severally thanked me for my kindness in giving them their +liberty, except one, whose eyes were fixed upon the wounded men, when +the French gentleman went up to her, and reminded her that she had not +expressed her thanks to the commanding officer. + +She turned round to me--I started back. I certainly had seen that face +before--I could not be mistaken; yet she had now grown up into a +beautiful young woman. "Celeste," said I, trembling. "Are you not +Celeste?" + +"Yes," replied she, looking earnestly at me, as if she would discover +who I was, but which it was not very easy to do, begrimed as my face was +with dust and gunpowder. + +"Have you forgotten Peter Simple?" + +"Oh! no--no--never forgot you!" cried Celeste, bursting into tears, and +holding out her hands. + +This scene occasioned no small astonishment to the parties on deck, who +could not comprehend it. She smiled through her tears, as I told her how +happy I was to have the means of being of service to her. "And where is +the colonel?" said I. + +"There," replied she, pointing to the island; "he is now general, and +commands the force in the garrison. And where is Mr O'Brien?" +interrogated Celeste. + +"There," replied I; "he commands that man-of-war, of which I am the +second lieutenant." + +A rapid exchange of inquiries took place, and the boats were stopped +while we were in conversation. Swinburne reported that the brig was +standing in for us, and I felt that in justice to the wounded I could no +longer delay. Still I found time to press her hand, to thank her for the +purse she had given me when I was on the stilts, and to tell her that I +had never forgotten her, and never would. With many remembrances to her +father, I was handing her into the boat, when she said, "I don't know +whether I am right to ask it, but you could do me such a favour." + +"What is it, Celeste?" + +"You have allowed more than one-half of the men to pull us on shore; +some must remain, and they are so miserable--indeed it is hardly yet +decided which of them are to go. Could you let them all go?" + +"That I will, for your sake, Celeste. As soon as your two boats have +shoved off, I will lower down the boat astern, and send the rest after +you; but I must make sail now--God bless you!" + +The boats then shoved off, the passengers waving their handkerchiefs to +us, and I made sail for the brig. As soon as the stern-boat was +alongside, the rest of the crew were called up and put into her, and +followed their companions. I felt that O'Brien would not be angry with +me for letting them all go: and especially when I told him who begged +for them. The vessel's name was the _Victorine_, mounting fourteen guns, +and twenty-four men, with eleven passengers. She was chiefly laden with +silks and wine, and was a very valuable prize. Celeste had time to tell +me that her father had been four years in Martinique, and had left her +at home for her education; and that she was then coming out to join him. +The other ladies were all wives or daughters of officers of the French +garrison on the island, and the gentlemen passengers were some of them +French officers; but as this was told me in secrecy, of course I was not +bound to know it, as they were not in uniform. + +As soon as we had closed with the brig, I hastened on board to O'Brien; +and as soon as a fresh supply of hands to man the boats, and the surgeon +had been despatched on board of the prize, to superintend the removal of +the wounded, I went down with him into the cabin, and narrated what had +occurred. + +"Well," said O'Brien, "all's well that ends well; but this is not the +luckiest hit in the world. Your taking the ship has saved me, Peter; and +I must make as flourishing a despatch as I can. By the powers but it's +very lucky that she has fourteen guns--it sounds grand. I must muddle it +all up together, so that the admiral must think we intended to cut them +both out--and so we did, sure enough, if we had known she had been +there. But I am most anxious to hear the surgeon's report, and whether +poor Osbaldistone will do well. Peter, oblige me by going on board, and +put two marines sentry over the hatchway, so that no one goes down and +pulls the traps about; for I'll send on shore everything belonging to +the passengers, for Colonel O'Brien's sake." + +The surgeon's report was made--six killed and sixteen wounded. The +killed were, O'Farren and Pepper, midshipmen, two seamen and two +marines. The first lieutenant, Osbaldistone, was severely wounded in +three places, but likely to do well; five other men were dangerously +wounded: the other ten would, in all probability, return to their duty +in less than a month. As soon as the wounded were on board, O'Brien +returned with me to the prize, and we went down into the cabin. All the +passengers' effects were collected; the trunks which had been left open +were nailed down: and O'Brien wrote a handsome letter to General +O'Brien, containing a list of the packages sent on shore. We sent the +launch with a flag of truce to the nearest battery; after some demur it +was accepted, and effects landed. We did not wait for an answer, but +made all sail to join the admiral at Barbadoes. + +The next morning we buried those who had fallen. O'Farrell was a fine +young man, brave as a lion, but very hot in his temper. He would have +made a good officer had he been spared. Poor little Pepper was also much +regretted. He was but twelve years old. He had bribed the bowman of the +second cutter to allow him to conceal himself under the fore-sheets of +the boat. His day's allowance of spirits had purchased him this object +of his ambition, which ended so fatally. But as soon as the bodies had +disappeared under the wave, and the service was over, we all felt +happier. There is something very unpleasant, particularly to sailors, in +having a corpse on board. + +We now sailed merrily along, the prize keeping company with us; and, +before we reached Barbadoes, most of the men were convalescent. +Osbaldistone's wounds, were, however, very severe; and he was +recommended to return home, which he did, and obtained his promotion as +soon as he arrived. He was a pleasant messmate, and I was sorry to lose +him; although, the lieutenant appointed in his room being junior to me, +I was promoted to be first lieutenant of the brig. Soon after +Osbaldistone went home, his brother broke his neck when hunting, and +Osbaldistone came into the property. He then quitted the service. + +We found the admiral at Barbadoes, who received O'Brien and his despatch +very well. O'Brien had taken two good prizes, and that was sufficient to +cover a multitude of sins, even if he had committed any; but the +despatch was admirably written, and the admiral, in his letter to the +Admiralty, commented upon Captain O'Brien's successful and daring +attack; whereas, if the truth had been known, it was Swinburne's advice +of pulling up the weather shore, which was the occasion of our capturing +the _Victorine_; but it is very hard to come at the real truth of these +sort of things, as I found out during the time that I was in His +Majesty's service. + + + + +Chapter XLVI + +O'Brien tells his crew that one Englishman is as good as three Frenchmen +on salt water--They prove it--We fall in with an old acquaintance, +although she could not be considered as a friend. + + +Our next cruise was on the coast of Guinea and Gulf of Mexico, where we +were running up and down for three months, without falling in with +anything but West Indiamen bound to Demerara, Berbice, and Surinam, and +occasionally chasing a privateer; but in the light winds they were too +fast for us. Still we were useful in protecting the trade, and O'Brien +had a letter of thanks from the merchants, and a handsome piece of plate +upon his quitting the station. We had made sail for Barbadoes two days, +and were within sight of the island of Trinidad, when we perceived six +sail on the lee-bow. We soon made them out to be three large ships and +three schooners; and immediately guessed, which afterwards proved to be +correct, that they were three privateers, with West India ships which +they had captured. We made all sail, and at first the three privateers +did the same; but afterwards, having made out our force, and not liking +to abandon their prizes, they resolved to fight. The West Indiamen +hauled to the wind on the other tack, and the three privateers shortened +sail and awaited our coming. We beat to quarters, and when everything +was ready, and we were within a mile of the enemy, who had now thrown +out the tri-coloured flag, O'Brien ordered all the men aft on the +quarter-deck, and addressed them: "Now, my men, you see that there are +three privateers, and you also see that there are three West Indiamen, +which they have captured. As for the privateers, it's just a fair match +for you one Englishman can always beat three Frenchmen. We must lick the +privateers for honour and glory, and we must re-capture the ships for +profit, because you'll all want some money when you get on shore again. +So you've just half-a-dozen things to do, and then we'll pipe to +dinner." + +This harangue suited the sailors very well, and they returned to their +guns. "Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "just call away the sail-trimmers from +the guns, for I mean to fight these fellows under sail, and +out-manoeuvre them, if I can. Tell Mr Webster I want to speak with him." + +Mr Webster was the second lieutenant, a very steady, quiet young man, +and a good officer. + +"Mr Webster," said O'Brien, "remember that all the foremost guns must be +very much depressed. I prefer that the shot should strike the water +before it reaches them, rather than it should go over them. See that +your screws are run up at once, and I will take care that no broadside +is thrown away. Starboard, Swinburne." + +"Starboard it is, sir." + +"Steady; so--that's right for the stern of the leeward vessel." + +We were within two cable lengths of the privateers, who still remained +hove-to within half a cable's length of each other. They were very large +schooners, full of men, with their boarding netting triced up, and +showing a very good set of teeth: as it afterwards proved, one mounted +sixteen, and the other two fourteen, guns. + +"Now, my lads, over to the lee guns, and fire as they bear, when we +round to. Hands by the lee head-braces, and jib-sheet, stretch along the +weather braces. Quarter-master abaft, tend the boom-sheet. Port hard, +Swinburne." + +"Port it is, sir," replied Swinburne; and the brig rounded up on the +wind, shooting up under the sterns of the two weathermost schooners, and +discharging the broadsides into them as the guns bore. + +"Be smart and load, my lads, and stand by the same guns. Round in the +weather head-braces. Peter, I don't want her to go about. Stand by to +haul over the boom-sheet, when she pays off. Swinburne, helm amidships." + +By this time another broadside was poured into the schooner, who had not +yet returned our fire, which, having foolishly remained hove to the +wind, they could not do. The brig had now stern way, and O'Brien then +executed a very skilful manoeuvre: he shifted the helm, and made a stern +board, so as to back in between the two weather schooners and the one to +leeward, bracing round at the same time on the other tack. + +"Man both sides, my lads, and give them your broadsides as we pass." + +The men stationed at the starboard guns flew over, and the other side +being again loaded, we exchanged broadsides with the leeward and one of +the windward schooners, the brig continuing her stern way until we +passed ahead of them. By the time that we had re-loaded, the brig had +gathered headway, and again passed between the same two schooners, +exchanging broadsides, and then passing astern of them. + +"Capital, my lads--capital!" said O'Brien; "this is what I call good +fighting." And so it was; for O'Brien had given two raking broadsides, +and four others, receiving only two in return, for the schooners were +not ready for us when we passed between them the last time. + +The smoke had now rolled away to leeward, and we were able to see the +effect of our broadsides. The middle schooner had lost her main-boom, +and appeared very much cut up in the hull. The schooner to leeward did +not appear to have suffered much; but they now perceived their error, +and made sail. They had expected that we should have run in between +them, and fought broadside to broadside, by which means the weathermost +schooner would have taken a raking position, while the others engaged us +to windward and to leeward. Our own damages were trifling--two men +slightly wounded, and one main shroud cut away. We ran about half a mile +astern from them; then with both broadsides ready, we tacked, and found +that, as we expected, we could weather the whole of them. This we did; +O'Brien running the brig within biscuit-throw of the weather schooner, +engaging him broadside to broadside, with the advantage that the other +two could not fire a shot into us without standing a chance of striking +their consort. If he made more sail, so did we; if he shortened, so did +we; so as to keep our position with little variation. The schooner +fought well; but her metal was not to be compared with our thirty-two +pound carronades, which ploughed up her sides at so short a distance, +driving two ports into one. At last her foremast went by the board, and +she dropped astern. In the meantime the other schooners had both tacked, +and were coming up under our stern to rake us, but the accident which +happened to the one we had engaged left us at liberty. We knew that she +could not escape, so we tacked and engaged the other two, nearing them +as fast as we could. The breeze now sprang up fast, and O'Brien put up +the helm and passed between them, giving them both a raking broadside of +grape and cannister, which brought the sticks about their ears. This +sickened them; the smallest schooner, which had been the leewardmost at +the commencement of the action, made all sail on a wind. We clapped on +the royals to follow her, when we perceived that the other schooner, +which had been in the middle, and whose main-boom we had shot away, had +put her helm up, and was crowding all sail before the wind. O'Brien then +said, "Must not try for too much, or we shall lose all. Put her about, +Peter, we must be content with the one that is left us." + +We went about, and ranged up to the schooner which had lost her +foremast; but she, finding that her consort had deserted her, hauled +down her colours just as we were about to pour in our broadside. Our men +gave three cheers; and it was pleasant to see them all shaking hands +with each other, congratulating and laughing at the successful result of +our action. + +"Now, my lads, be smart;--we've done enough for honour, now for profit. +Peter, take the two cutters full of men, and go on board of the +schooner, while I get hold of the three West Indiamen. Rig something +jury forward, and follow me." + +In a minute the cutters were down and full of men. I took possession of +the schooner, while the brig again tacked, and crowding all sail stood +after the captured vessels. The schooner, which was the largest of the +three, was called the _Jean d' Arc_, mounting sixteen guns, and had +fifty-three men on board, the remainder being away in the prizes. The +captain was wounded very badly, and one officer killed. Out of her +ship's company, she had but eight killed and five wounded. They informed +me, that they had sailed three months ago from St Pierre's, Martinique, +and had fallen in with the other two privateers, and cruised in company, +having taken nine West Indiamen since they had come out. "Pray," said I +to the officer who gave the information, "were you ever attacked by +boats when you laid at St Pierre's?" He replied, yes; and that they had +beaten them off. "Did you purchase these masts of an American?" He +replied in the affirmative; so that we had captured the very vessel, in +attempting to cut out which, we had lost so many men. + +We were all very glad of this, and Swinburne said, "Well, hang me if I +didn't think that I had seen that port-hole before; there it was that I +wrenched a pike out of one of the rascal's hands, who tried to stab me, +and into that port-hole I fired at least a dozen muskets. Well, I'm +d----d glad we've got hold of the beggar at last." + +We secured the prisoners below, and commenced putting the schooner in +order. In half an hour, we had completed our knotting and splicing, and +having two of the carpenters with us, in an hour we had got up a small +jury mast forward, sufficient for the present. We lowered the mainsail, +put try-sails on her, and stood after the brig, which was now close to +the prizes; but they separated, and it was not till dark that she had +possession of two. The third was then hull down on the other tack, with +the brig in chase. We followed the brig, as did the two re-captured +vessels, and even with our jury up, we found that we could sail as fast +as they. The next morning, we saw the brig hove-to, and about three +miles a-head, with the three vessels in her possession. We closed, and I +went on board. Webster was put in charge of the privateer; and, after +lying-to for that day to send our prize-masters and men on board to +remove the prisoners, we got up a proper jury-mast, and all made sail +together for Barbadoes. On my return on board, I found that we had but +one man and one boy killed and six wounded, which I was not aware of. I +forgot to say that the names of the other two privateers were _L'Etoile_ +and _La Madeleine_. + +In a fortnight we arrived with all our prizes safe in Carlisle Bay, +where we found the admiral, who had anchored but two days before. I +hardly need say that O'Brien was well received, and gained a great deal +of credit for the action. I found several letters from my sister, the +contents of which gave me much pain. My father had been some months in +Ireland, and returned without gaining any information. My sister said +that he was very unhappy, paid no attention to his clerical duties, and +would sit for days without speaking. That he was very much altered in +his appearance, and had grown thin and care-worn. "In short," said she +"my dear Peter, I am afraid that he is fretting himself to death. Of +course, I am very lonely and melancholy. I cannot help reflecting upon +what will be my situation if any accident should happen to my father. +Accept my uncle's protection I will not; yet, how am I to live, for my +father has saved nothing? I have been very busy lately, trying to +qualify myself for a governess, and practise the harp and piano for +several hours every day. I shall be very, very glad when you come home +again." I showed the letters to O'Brien, who read them with much +attention. I perceived the colour mount into his cheeks, when he read +those parts of her letters in which she mentioned his name, and +expressed her gratitude for his kindness towards me. + +"Never mind, Peter," said O'Brien, returning me the letters; "to whom is +it that I am indebted for my promotion, and this brig, but to you--and +for all the prize-money which I have made, and which, by the head of St +Patrick, comes to a very dacent sum, but to you? Make yourself quite +easy about your dear little sister. We'll club your prize-money and mine +together, and she shall marry a duke, if there is one in England +deserving her; and it's the French that shall furnish her dowry, as sure +as the _Rattlesnake_ carries a tail." + + + + +Chapter XLVII + +I am sent away after prizes, and meet with a hurricane--Am driven on +shore, with the loss of more than half my men--Where is the +_Rattlesnake?_ + + +In three weeks we were again ready for sea, and the admiral ordered us +to our old station off Martinique. We had cruised about a fortnight off +St Pierre's, and, as I walked the deck at night, often did I look at the +lights in the town, and wonder whether any of them were in the presence +of Celeste, when, one evening, being about six miles off shore, we +observed two vessels rounding Negro Point, close in-shore. It was quite +calm, and the boats were towing ahead. + +"It will be dark in half-an-hour, Peter," said O'Brien, "and I think we +might get them before they anchor, or, if they do anchor, it will be +well outside. What do you think?" + +I agreed with him, for in fact, I always seemed to be happier when the +brig was close in-shore, as I felt as if I was nearer to Celeste, and +the further we were off, the more melancholy I became. Continually +thinking of her, and the sight of her after so many years' separation, +had changed my youthful attachment into strong affection. I may say that +I was deeply in love. The very idea of going into the harbour, +therefore, gave me pleasure, and there was no mad or foolish thing that +I would not have done, only to gaze upon the walls which contained the +constant object of my thoughts. These were wild and visionary notions, +and with little chance of ever arriving to any successful issue; but at +one or two-and-twenty we are fond of building castles, and very apt to +fall in love, without considering our prospect of success. I replied, +that I thought it very possible, and wished he would permit me to make +the attempt, as, if I found there was much risk, I would return. + +"I know that I can trust you, Peter," replied O'Brien, "and it's a great +pleasure to know that you have an officer you can trust: but haven't I +brought you up myself, and made a man of you, as I promised I would, +when you were a little spalpeen, with a sniffling nose, and legs in the +shape of two carrots? So hoist out the launch, and get the boats ready-- +the sooner the better. What a hot day this has been--not a cat's-paw on +the water, and the sky all of a mist. Only look at the sun, how he goes +down, puffed out to three times his size, as if he were in a terrible +passion. I suspect we shall have the land breeze off strong." + +In half an hour I shoved off with the boats. It was now quite dark, and +I pulled towards the harbour of St Pierre. The heat was excessive and +unaccountable; not the slightest breath of wind moved in the heavens or +below; no clouds to be seen, and the stars were obscured by a sort of +mist: there appeared a total stagnation in the elements. The men in the +boats pulled off their jackets, for, after a few moments' pulling, they +could bear them no longer. As we pulled in, the atmosphere became more +opaque, and the darkness more intense. We supposed ourselves to be at +the mouth of the harbour, but could see nothing--not three yards ahead +of the boat. Swinburne, who always went with me, was steering the boat, +and I observed to him the unusual appearance of the night. + +"I've been watching it, sir," replied Swinburne, "and I tell you, Mr +Simple, that if we only know how to find the brig, that I would advise +you to get on board of her immediately. She'll want all her hands this +night, or I'm much mistaken." + +"Why do you say so?" replied I. + +"Because I think, nay, I may say that I'm sartin, we'll have a hurricane +afore morning. It's not the first time I've cruised in these latitudes. +I recollect in '94--" + +But I interrupted him: "Swinburne, I believe that you are right. At all +events, I'll turn back: perhaps we may reach the brig before it comes +on. She carries a light, and we can find her out." I then turned the +boat round, and steered, as near as I could guess, for where the brig +was lying. But we had not pulled out more than two minutes before a low +moaning was heard in the atmosphere--now here, now there--and we +appeared to be pulling through solid darkness, if I may use the +expression. Swinburne looked around him and pointed out on the starboard +bow. + +"It's a-coming, Mr Simple, sure enough; many's the living being that +will not rise on its legs to-morrow. See, sir." + +I looked, and dark as it was, it appeared as if a sort of black wall was +sweeping along the water right towards us. The moaning gradually +increased to a stunning roar, and then at once it broke upon us with a +noise to which no thunder can bear a comparison. The oars were caught by +the wind with such force that the men were dashed forward under the +thwarts, many of them severely hurt. Fortunately we pulled with tholes +and pins, or the gunwale and planks of the boat would have been wrenched +off, and we should have foundered. The wind soon caught the boat on her +broadside, and, had there been the least sea, would have inevitably +thrown her over; but Swinburne put the helm down, and she fell off +before the hurricane, darting through the boiling water at the rate of +ten miles an hour. All hands were aghast; they had recovered their +seats, but were obliged to relinquish them and sit down at the bottom, +holding on by the thwarts. The terrific roaring of the hurricane +prevented any communication, except by gesture. The other boats had +disappeared; lighter than ours, they had flown away faster before the +sweeping element; but we had not been a minute before the wind before +the sea rose in a most unaccountable manner--it appeared to be by magic. +Of all the horrors that ever I witnessed, nothing could be compared to +the scene of this night. We could see nothing, and heard only the wind, +before which we were darting like an arrow--to where we knew not, unless +it was to certain death. Swinburne steered the boat, every now and then +looking back as the waves increased. In a few minutes we were in a heavy +swell, that at one minute bore us all aloft, and at the next almost +sheltered us from the hurricane; and now the atmosphere was charged with +showers of spray, the wind cutting off the summits of the waves, as if +with a knife, and carrying them along with it, as it were, in its arms. +The boat was filling with water, and appeared to settle down fast. The +men baled with their hats in silence, when a large wave culminated over +the stern, filling us up to our thwarts. The next moment we all received +a shock so violent, that we were jerked from our seats. Swinburne was +thrown over my head. Every timber of the boat separated at once, and she +appeared to crumble from under us, leaving us floating on the raging +waters. We all struck out for our lives, but with little hope of +preserving them; but the next wave dashed us on the rocks, against which +the boat had already been hurled. That wave gave life to some and death +to others. Me, in Heaven's mercy, it preserved: I was thrown so high up +that I merely scraped against the top of the rock, breaking two of my +ribs. Swinburne, and eight more, escaped with me, but not unhurt: two +had their legs broken, three had broken arms, and the others were more +or less contused. Swinburne miraculously received no injury. We had been +eighteen in the boat, of which ten escaped: the others were hurled up at +our feet; and the next morning we found them dreadfully mangled. One or +two had their skulls literally shattered to pieces against the rocks. I +felt that I was saved, and was grateful; but still the hurricane howled +--still the waves were washing over us. I crawled further up upon the +beach, and found Swinburne sitting down with his eyes directed seaward. +He knew me, took my hand, squeezed it, and then held it in his. For some +moments we remained in this position, when the waves, which every moment +increased in volume, washed up to us, and obliged us to crawl further +up. I then looked around me; the hurricane continued in its fury, but +the atmosphere was not so dark. I could trace, for some distance, the +line of the harbour, from the ridge of foam upon the shore; and, for the +first time, I thought of O'Brien and the brig. I put my mouth close to +Swinburne's ear, and cried out, "O'Brien!" Swinburne shook his head, and +looked up again at the offing. I thought whether there was any chance of +the brig's escape. She was certainly six, if not seven miles off, and +the hurricane was not direct on the shore. She might have a drift of ten +miles, perhaps; but what was that against such tremendous power? I +prayed for those on board of the brig, and returned thanks for my own +preservation. I was, or soon should be, a prisoner, no doubt; but what +was that? I thought of Celeste, and felt almost happy. + +In about three hours the force of the wind subsided. It still blew a +heavy gale, but the sky cleared up, the stars again twinkled in the +heavens, and we could see to a considerable distance. + +"It's breaking now, sir," said Swinburne, at last; "satisfied with the +injury it has done--and that's no little. This is worse than '94." + +"Now, I'd give all my pay and prize-money if it were only daylight, and +I could know the fate of the poor _Rattlesnake_. What do you think, +Swinburne?" + +"All depends upon whether they were taken unprepared, sir. Captain +O'Brien is as good a seaman as ever trod a plank; but he never has been +in a hurricane, and may not have known, the signs and warnings which God +in His mercy has vouchsafed to us. Your flush vessels fill easily--but +we must hope for the best." + +Most anxiously did we look out for the day, which appeared to us as if +it never would break. At last the dawn appeared, and we stretched our +eyes to every part of the offing as it was lighted up, but we could not +see the brig. The sun rose, and all was bright and clear; but we looked +not around us, our eyes were directed to where we had left the brig. The +sea was still running high, but the wind abated fast. + +"Thank God!" ejaculated Swinburne, when he had directed his eyes along +the coast, "she is above water, at all events!" and looking in the +direction where he pointed, I perceived the brig within two miles of the +shore, dismantled, and tossing in the waves. + +"I see her," replied I, catching my breath with joy; "but--still--I +think she must go on shore." + +"All depends upon whether she can get a little bit of sail up to weather +the point," replied Swinburne; "and depend upon it, Captain O'Brien +knows that as well as we do." + +We were now joined by the other men who were saved. We all shook hands. +They pointed out to me the bodies of our shipmates who had perished. I +directed them to haul them further up, and put them all together; and +continued, with Swinburne, to watch the brig. In about half an hour we +perceived a triangle raised, and in ten minutes afterwards a jury-mast +abaft--a try-sail was hoisted and set. Then the shears were seen +forward, and in as short a time another try-sail and a storm-jib were +expanded to the wind. + +"That's all he can do now, Mr Simple," observed Swinburne; "he must +trust to them and Providence. They are not more than a mile from the +beach--it will be touch and go." + +Anxiously did we watch for more than half an hour; the other men +returned to us, and joined in our speculations. At one time we thought +it impossible--at another, we were certain that she would weather the +point. At last, as she neared us, she warped ahead: my anxiety became +almost insupportable. I stood first on one leg, and then on the other, +breathless with suspense. She appeared to be on the point--actually +touching the rocks--"God! she's struck!" said I. + +"No!" replied Swinburne;--and then we saw her pass on the other side of +the outermost rock and disappear. + +"Safe, Mr Simple!--weathered, by God!" cried Swinburne, waving his hat +with joy. + +"God be thanked!" replied I, overcome with delight. + + + + +Chapter XLVIII + +The devastation of the hurricane--Peter makes friends--At destroying or +saving, nothing like British seamen--Peter meets with General O'Brien, +much to his satisfaction--Has another meeting still more so--A great +deal of pressing of hands, "and all that," as Pope says. + + +Now that the brig was safe, we thought of ourselves. My first attention +was directed to the dead bodies, and as I looked at their mangled limbs, +I felt grateful to Heaven that I had been so miraculously spared. We +then cast our eyes along the beach to see if we could trace any remnants +of the other boats, but in vain. We were about three miles from the +town, which we could perceive had received considerable damage, and the +beach below it was strewed with wrecks and fragments. I told the men +that we might as well walk into the town and deliver ourselves up as +prisoners; to which they agreed, and we set forward, promising to send +for the poor fellows who were too much hurt to accompany us. + +As soon as we climbed up the rocks, and gained the inland, what a sight +presented itself to us! Trees torn up by the roots in every direction-- +cattle lying dead--here and there the remains of a house, of which the +other parts had been swept away for miles. Everything not built of solid +masonry had disappeared. We passed what had been a range of negro huts, +but they were levelled to the ground. The negroes were busily searching +for their property among the ruins, while the women held their infants +in their arms, and the other children by their sides. Here and there was +the mother wailing over the dead body of some poor little thing which +had been crushed to death. They took no notice of us. About half a mile +further on, to our great delight, we fell in with the crews of the other +boats, who were sitting by the side of the road. They had all escaped +unhurt; their boats, being so much more buoyant than ours, had been +thrown up high and dry. They joined us, and we proceeded on our way. On +our road we fell in with a cart blown over, under the wheel of which was +the leg of the negro who conducted it. We released the poor fellow; his +leg was fractured. We laid him by the side of the road in the shade, and +continued our march. Our whole route was one scene of desolation and +distress; but when we arrived at the town, we found that there it was +indeed accumulated. There was not one house in three standing entire-- +the beach was covered with remnants of bodies and fragments of vessels, +whose masts lay forced several feet into the sand, and broken into four +or five pieces. Parties of soldiers were busy taking away the bodies, +and removing what few valuables had been saved. We turned up into the +town, for no one accosted us or even noticed us; and here the scene was +even more dreadful. In some streets they were digging out those who were +still alive, and whose cries were heard among the ruins; in others they +were carrying away the dead bodies. The lamentations of the relatives-- +the howling of the negroes--the cries of the wounded--the cursing and +swearing of the French soldiers, and the orders delivered continually by +officers on horseback, with all the confusion arising from crowds of +spectators, mingling their voices together, formed a scene as dreadful +as it was novel. After surveying it for a few minutes, I went up to an +officer on horseback, and told him in French, that I wished to surrender +myself as a prisoner. + +"We have no time to take prisoners now," replied he; "hundreds are +buried in the ruins, and we must try to save them. We must now attend to +the claims of humanity." + +"Will you allow my men to assist you, sir?" replied I. "They are active +and strong fellows." + +"Sir," said he, taking off his hat, "I thank you in the name of my +unfortunate countrymen." + +"Show us, then, where we may be most useful." + +He turned and pointed to a house higher up, the offices of which were +blown down. "There are living beings under those ruins." + +"Come, my lads," said I; and sore as they were, my men hastened with +alacrity to perform their task. I could not help them myself, my side +was so painful; but I stood by giving them directions. In half an hour +we had cleared away, so as to arrive at a poor negro girl, whose cries +we had distinctly heard. We released her and laid her down in the +street, but she fainted. Her left hand was dreadfully shattered. I was +giving what assistance I could, and the men were busy clearing away, +throwing on one side the beams and rafters, when an officer on horseback +rode up. He stood and asked me who we were. I told him that we belonged +to the brig, and had been wrecked; and that we were giving what +assistance we could until they were at leisure to send us to prison. + +"You English are fine brave fellows," replied he, and he rode on. + +Another unfortunate object had been recovered by our men, an old +white-headed negro, but he was too much mangled to live. We brought him +out, and were laying him beside the negro girl, when several officers on +horseback rode down the street. The one who was foremost, in a general's +uniform, I immediately recognized as my former friend, then Colonel +O'Brien. They all stopped and looked at us. I told who we were. General +O'Brien took off his hat to the sailors, and thanked them. He did not +recognize me, and he was passing on, when I said to him in English, +"General O'Brien, you have forgotten me, but I shall never forget your +kindness." + +"My God!" said he, "is it you, my dear fellow?" and he sprang from his +horse and shook me warmly by the hand. "No wonder that I did not know +you; you are a very different person from little Peter Simple, who +dressed up as a girl and danced on stilts. But I have to thank you, and +so has Celeste for your kindness to her. I will not ask you to leave +your work of charity and kindness, but when you have done what you can, +come up to my house. Anyone will show it to you; and if you do not find +me you will find Celeste, as you must be aware cannot leave this +melancholy employment. God bless you!" He then rode off, followed by his +staff. + +"Come, my lads," said I, "depend upon it we shall not be very cruelly +treated. Let us work hard, and do all the good we can, and the Frenchmen +won't forget it." + +We had cleared that house, and went back to where the other people were +working under the orders of the officer on horseback. I went up to him, +and told him we had saved two, and if he had no objection, would assist +his party. He thankfully accepted our services. + +"And now, my lads," said Swinburne, "let us forget all our bruises, and +show these French fellows how to work." + +And they did so: they tossed away the beams and rafters right and left +with a quickness and dexterity which quite astonished the officer and +other inhabitants who were looking on, and in half an hour had done more +work than could have been possibly expected. Several lives were saved, +and the French expressed their admiration at our sailors' conduct, and +brought them something to drink, which they stood much in need of, poor +fellows. After that they worked double tides, as we say, and certainly +were the means of saving many lives which otherwise would have been +sacrificed. + +The disasters occasioned by this hurricane were very great, owing to its +having taken place at night, when the chief of the inhabitants were in +bed and asleep. I was told that most of the wood houses were down five +minutes after the hurricane burst upon them. About noon there was no +more work for us to do, and I was not sorry that it was over. My side +was very painful, and the burning heat of the sun made me feel giddy and +sick at the stomach. I inquired of a respectable looking old Frenchman +which was the General's house. He directed me to it, and I proceeded +there, followed by my men. When I arrived, I found the orderly leading +away the horse of General O'Brien, who had just returned. I desired a +sergeant, who was in attendance at the door, to acquaint the general +that I was below. He returned, and desired me to follow him. I was +conducted into a large room, where I found him in company with several +officers. He again greeted me warmly, and introduced me to the company +as the officer who had permitted the ladies who had been taken prisoners +to come on shore. + +"I have to thank you, then, for my wife," said an officer, coming up, +and offering his hand. + +Another came up, and told me that I had also released his. We then +entered into a conversation, in which I stated, the occasion of my +having been wrecked, and all the particulars; also, that I had seen the +brig in the morning dismasted, but that she had weathered the point, and +was safe. + +"That brig of yours, I must pay you the compliment to say, has been very +troublesome; and my namesake keeps the batteries more upon the alert +than ever I could have done," said General O'Brien. "I don't believe +there is a negro five years old upon the island who does not know your +brig." + +We then talked over the attack of the privateer, in which we were beaten +off. "Ah!" replied the aide-de-camp, "you made a mess of that. He has +been gone these four months. Captain Carnot swears that he'll fight you +if he falls in with you." + +"He has kept his word," replied I; and then I narrated our action with +the three French privateers, and the capture of the vessel; which +surprised and, I think, annoyed them very much. + +"Well, my friend," said General O'Brien, "you must stay with me while +you are on the island; if you want anything, let me know." + +"I am afraid that I want a surgeon," replied I; "for my side is so +painful that I can scarcely breathe." + +"Are you hurt then?" said General O'Brien, with an anxious look. + +"Not dangerously, I believe," said I, "but rather painfully." + +"Let me see," said an officer, who stepped forward; "I am surgeon to the +forces here, and perhaps you will trust yourself in my hands. Take off +your coat." + +I did so with difficulty. "You have two ribs broken," said he, "and a +very severe contusion. You must go to bed, or lie on a sofa, for a few +days. In a quarter of an hour I will come and dress you, and promise you +to make you all well in ten days, in return for your having given me my +daughter, who was on board of the _Victorine_ with the other ladies." +The officers now made their bows, and left me alone with General +O'Brien. + +"Recollect," said he, "that I tell it you once for all, that my purse, +and everything, is at your command. If you do not accept them freely, I +shall think you do not love us. It is not the first time, Peter, and you +repaid me honourably. However, of course, I was no party to that affair; +it was Celeste's doing," continued he, laughing. "Of course, I could not +imagine that it was you who was dressed up as a woman, and so impudently +danced through France on stilts. But I must hear all your adventures +by-and-by, Celeste is most anxious to see you. Will you go now, or wait +till after the surgeon comes?" + +"Oh, now, if you please, general. May I first beg that some care may be +taken of my poor men; they have had nothing to eat since yesterday, are +very much bruised, and have worked hard; and that a cart may be sent for +those who lie maimed on the beach?" + +"I should have thought of them before," replied he: "and I will also +order the same party to bury the other poor fellows who are lying on the +beach. Come, now--will take you to Celeste." + + + + +Chapter XLIX + +Broken ribs not likely to produce broken hearts--O'Brien makes something +very like a declaration of peace--Peter Simple actually makes a +declaration of love--Rash proceedings on all sides. + + +I followed the general into a handsomely furnished apartment, where I +found Celeste waiting to receive me. She ran to me as soon as I entered; +and with what pleasure did I take her hand, and look on her beautiful +expressive countenance! I could not say a word--neither did Celeste. For +a minute I held her hand in mine, looking at her; the general stood by +regarding us alternately. He then turned round, and walked to the +window. I lifted the hand to my lips, and then released it. + +"It appears to be a dream, almost," said Celeste. + +I could not make any reply, but continued to gaze upon her--she had +grown up into such a beautiful creature. Her figure was perfect, and the +expression of her countenance was so varied--so full of intellect and +feeling--it was angelic. Her eyes, suffused with tears, beamed so +softly, so kindly on me, I could have fallen down and worshipped her. + +"Come," said General O'Brien; "come, my dear friend, now that you have +seen Celeste, the surgeon must see you." + +"The surgeon," cried Celeste, with alarm. + +"Yes, my love; it is of no consequence--only a couple of ribs broken." + +I followed General O'Brien out of the room, and as I came to the door I +turned round to look at Celeste. She had retreated to the sofa, and her +handkerchief was up to her eyes. The surgeon was waiting for me; he +bandaged me, and applied some cooling lotion to my side, which made me +feel quite comfortable. + +"I must now leave you," said General O'Brien; "you had better lie down +for an hour or two, and then, if I am not back, you know your way to +Celeste." + +I lay down as he requested; but as soon as I heard the clatter of the +horse's hoofs, as he rode off, I left the room, and hurried to the +drawing-room. Celeste was there, and hastened to inquire if I was much +hurt. I replied in the negative, and told her that I had come down to +prove it to her; and we then sat down on the sofa together. + +"I have the misfortune never to appear before you, Celeste, except in a +very unprepossessing state. When you first saw me I was wounded; at our +next meeting I was in woman's clothes; the last time we met I was +covered with dirt and gunpowder; and now I return to you wounded and in +rags. I wonder whether I shall ever appear before you as a gentleman?" + +"It is not the clothes which make the gentleman, Peter. I am too happy +to see you to think of how you are dressed. I have never yet thanked you +for your kindness to us when we last met. My father will never forget +it." + +"Nor have I thanked you, Celeste, for your kindness in dropping the +purse into the hat, when you met me, trying to escape from France. I +have never forgotten you, and since we met the last time, you have +hardly ever been out of my thoughts. You don't know how thankful I am to +the hurricane for having blown me into your presence. When we cruised in +the brig, I have often examined the town with my glass, trying to fancy +that I had my eye upon the house you were in; and have felt so happy +when we were close in shore, because I knew that I was nearer to you." + +"And, Peter, I have often watched the brig, and have been so glad to see +it come nearer, and then so afraid that the batteries would fire at you. +What a pity it is that my father and you should be opposed to each +other--we might be so happy!" + +"And may be yet, Celeste," replied I. + +We conversed for two hours, which appeared to be but ten minutes. I felt +that I was in love, but I do not think that Celeste had any idea at the +time that she was--but I leave the reader to judge from the little +conversation I have quoted, whether she was not, or something very much +approaching to it. + +The next morning I went out early to look for the brig, and, to my great +delight, saw her about six miles off the harbour's mouth, standing in +for the land. She had now got up very respectable jury-masts, with +topgallants for topsails, and appeared to be well under command. When +she was within three miles of the harbour she lowered the jolly-boat, +the only one she had left, and it pulled in-shore with a flag of truce +hoisted at the bows. I immediately returned to my room, and wrote a +detailed account of what had taken place, ready to send to O'Brien when +the boat returned, and I, of course, requested him to send me my +effects, as I had nothing but what I stood in. I had just completed my +letter when General O'Brien came in. + +"My dear friend," said he, "I have just received a flag of truce from +Captain O'Brien, requesting to know the fate of his boats' crews, and +permission to send in return the clothes and effects of the survivors." + +"I have written down the whole circumstances for him, and made the same +request to him," replied I; and I handed him my letter. He read it over +and returned it. + +"But, my dear lad, you must think very poorly of us Frenchmen, if you +imagine that we intend to detain you here as a prisoner. In the first +place, your liberation of so many French subjects, when you captured the +_Victorine_, would entitle you to a similar act of kindness; and, in the +next place, you have not been fairly captured, but by a visitation of +Providence, which, by the means of the late storm, must destroy all +national antipathies, and promote that universal philanthropy between +all men, which your brave fellows proved that they possess. You are, +therefore, free to depart with all your men, and we shall still hold +ourselves your debtors. How is your side to-day?" + +"Oh, very bad, indeed," replied I; for I could not bear the idea of +returning to the brig so soon, for I had been obliged to quit Celeste +very soon after dinner the day before, and go to bed. I had not yet had +much conversation with her, nor had I told General O'Brien how it was +that we escaped from France. "I don't think I can possibly go on board +to-day, but I feel very grateful to you for your kindness." + +"Well, well," replied the general, who observed my feelings, "I do not +think it is necessary that you should go on board to-day. I will send +the men and your letter, and I will write to Captain O'Brien, to say +that you are in bed, and will not bear moving until the day after +tomorrow. Will that do?" + +I thought it but a very short time, but I saw that the general looked as +if he expected me to consent; so I did. + +"The boat can come and return again with some of your clothes," +continued the general, "and I will tell Captain O'Brien that if he comes +off the mouth of the harbour the day after to-morrow, I will send you on +board in one of our boats." + +He then took my letter and quitted the room. As soon as he was gone I +found myself quite well enough to go to Celeste, who waited for me, and +I told her what had passed. That morning I sat with her and the general, +and narrated all my adventures, which amused the general very much. I +did not conceal the conduct of my uncle, and the hopes which I faintly +entertained of being able, some day or another, to discover the fraud +which had been practised, or how very unfavourable were my future +prospects if I did not succeed. At this portion of my narrative the +general appeared very thoughtful and grave. When I had finished, it was +near dinner time, and I found that my clothes had arrived with a letter +from O'Brien, who stated how miserable he had been at the supposition of +my loss, and his delight at my escape. He stated that on going down into +the cabin, after I had shoved off, he, by chance, cast his eyes on the +barometer, and, to his surprise, found that it had fallen two inches, +which he had been told was the case previous to a hurricane. This, +combined with the peculiar state of the atmosphere, had induced him to +make every preparation, and that they had just completed their work when +it came on. The brig was thrown on her beam ends, and lay there for half +an hour, when they were forced to cut away the masts to right her. That +they did not weather the point the next morning by more than half a +cable's length; and concluded by saying, that the idea of my death had +made him so unhappy that, if it had not been for the sake of the men, it +was almost a matter of indifference to him whether he had been lost or +not. He had written to General O'Brien, thanking him for his kindness; +and that, if fifty vessels should pass the brig, he would not capture +one of them, until I was on board again, even if he were dismissed the +service for neglect of duty. He said, that the brig sailed almost as +fast under jury-masts as she did before, and that, as soon as I came on +board, he should go back to Barbadoes. "As for your ribs being so bad, +Peter, that's all bother," continued he; "I know that you are making +arrangements for another sort of _rib_, as soon as you can manage it; +but you must stop a little, my boy. You shall be a lord yet, as I always +promised you that you should. It's a long lane that has no turning--so +good-bye." + +When I was alone with Celeste, I showed her O'Brien's letter. I had read +the part of it relative to his not intending to make any capture while I +was on shore to General O'Brien, who replied, "that under such +circumstances he thought' he should do right to detain me a little +longer but," said he, "O'Brien is a man of honour, and worthy of his +name." + +When Celeste came to that part of the letter in which O'Brien stated +that I was looking after another rib, and which I had quite forgotten, +she asked me to explain it; for, although she could read and speak +English very well, she had not been sufficiently accustomed to it to +comprehend the play upon words. I translated, and then said, "Indeed, +Celeste, I had forgotten that observation of O'Brien's, or I should not +have shown you the letter; but he has stated the truth. After all your +kindness to me, how can I help being in love with you? and need I add, +that I should consider it the greatest blessing which Heaven could grant +me, if you could feel so much regard for me as one day to become my +wife! Don't be angry with me for telling you the truth," continued I, +for Celeste coloured up as I spoke to her. + +"Oh, no! I am not angry with you, Peter; far from it. It is very +complimentary to me--what you have just said." + +"I am aware," continued I, "that at present I have little to offer you-- +indeed, nothing. I am not even such a match as your father might approve +of; but you know my whole history, and what my desires are." + +"My dear father loves me, Peter, and he loves you too, very much--he +always did, from the hour he saw you--he was so pleased with your +candour and honesty of character. He has often told me so, and very +often talked of you." + +"Well, Celeste, tell me,--may I when far away, be permitted to think of +you, and indulge a hope, that some day we may meet never to part again?" +And I took Celeste by the hand, and put my arm round her waist. + +"I don't know what to say," replied she; "I will speak to my father, or +perhaps you will; but I will never marry anybody else, if I can help +it." + +I drew her close to me, and kissed her. Celeste burst into tears, and +laid her head upon my shoulder. When General O'Brien came I did not +attempt to move, nor did Celeste. + +"General," said I, "you may think me to blame, but I have not been able +to conceal what I feel for Celeste. You may think that I am imprudent, +and that I am wrong in thus divulging what I ought to have concealed, +until I was in a situation to warrant my aspiring to your daughter's +hand; but the short time allowed me to be in her company, the fear of +losing her, and my devoted attachment, will, I trust, plead my excuse." + +The general took one or two turns up and down the room, and then +replied, "What says Celeste?" + +"Celeste will never do anything to make her father unhappy," replied +she, going up to him and hiding her face in his breast, with her arm +round his neck. + +The general kissed his daughter, and then said, "I will be frank with +you, Mr Simple. I do not know any man whom I would prefer to you as a +son-in-law; but there are many considerations which young people are +very apt to forget. I do not interfere in your attachment, which appears +to be mutual; but, at the same time, I will have no promise and no +engagement, you may never meet again. However, Celeste is very young, +and I shall not put any constraint upon her; and at the same time you +are equally free, if time and circumstances should alter your present +feelings." + +"I can ask no more, my dear sir," replied I, taking the general by the +hand; "it is candid--more than I had any reason to expect. I shall now +leave you with a contented mind, and the hopes of one day claiming +Celeste shall spur me to exertion." + +"Now, if you please, we will drop the subject," said the general. +"Celeste, my dear, we have a large party to dinner, as you know. You had +better retire to your room and get ready. I have asked all the ladies +that you liberated, Peter, and all their husbands and fathers; so you +will have the pleasure of witnessing how many people you made happy by +your gallantry. Now that Celeste has left the room, Peter, I must beg +that, as a man of honour, you do not exact from her any more promises, +or induce her to tie herself down to you by oaths. Her attachment to you +has grown up with her unaccountably, and she is already too fond of you +for her peace of mind, should accident or circumstances part you for +ever. Let us hope for the best, and depend upon it that it shall be no +trifling obstacle which will hinder me from seeing you one day united." + +I thanked the general with tears; he shook me warmly by the hand as I +gave my promise, and we separated. + +How happy did I feel when I went into my room, and sat down to compose +my mind and think over what had happened. True, at one moment the +thought of my dependent situation threw a damp over my joy; but in the +next I was building castles, inventing a discovery of my uncle's plot, +fancying myself in possession of the title and property, and laying it +at the feet of my dear Celeste. Hope sustained my spirits, and I felt +satisfied for the present with the consideration that Celeste returned +my love. I decked myself carefully, and went down, where I found all the +company assembled. We had a very pleasant, happy party, and the ladies +entreated General O'Brien to detain me as a prisoner--very kind of them +--and I felt very much disposed to join in their request. + + + + +Chapter L + +Peter Simple first takes a command, then three West Indiamen, and twenty +prisoners--One good turn deserves another--The prisoners endeavour to +take him, but are themselves taken in. + + +The next day I was very unhappy. The brig was in the offing waiting for +me to come on hoard. I pointed her out to Celeste as we were at the +window, and her eyes met mine. An hour's conversation could not have +said more. General O'Brien showed that he had perfect confidence in me +for he left us together. + +"Celeste," said I, "I have promised your father--" + +"I know what has passed," interrupted she; "he told me everything." + +"How kind he is! But I did not say that I would not bind myself, +Celeste." + +"No! but my father made me promise that you should not--that if you +attempted, I was immediately to prevent you--and so I shall." + +"Then you shall keep your word, Celeste. Imagine everything that can be +said in this--" and I kissed her. + +"Don't think me forward, Peter, but I wish you to go away happy," said +Celeste; "and therefore, in return, imagine all I could say in this" and +she returned my salute. + +After this we had a conversation of two hours; but what lovers say is +very silly, except to themselves, and the reader need not be troubled +with it. General O'Brien came in and told me the boat was ready. I rose +up--I was satisfied with what had passed, and with a firm voice I said, +"Good-bye, Celeste; God bless you!" and followed the general, who, with +some of his officers, walked down with me to the beach. I thanked the +general, who embraced me, paid my adieus to the officers, and stepped +into the boat. In half an hour I was on board of the brig, and in +O'Brien's arms. We put the helm up, and in a short time the town of St +Pierre was shut out from my longing sight, and we were on our way to +Barbadoes. That day was passed in the cabin with O'Brien, giving him a +minute detail of all that had passed. + +When we anchored once more in Carlisle Bay, we found that the hurricane +had been much more extensive in the Windward Islands than we had +imagined. Several men of war were lying there, having lost one or more +of their masts, and there was great difficulty in supplying the wants of +so many. As we arrived the last, of course we were last served; and, +there being no boats left in store, there was no chance of our being +ready for sea under two or three months. The _Joan d' Arc_ schooner +privateer was still lying there, but had not been fitted out for want of +men; and the admiral proposed to O'Brien that he should man her with a +part of his ship's company, and send one of his lieutenants out to +cruise in her. This was gladly assented to by O'Brien, who came on board +and asked me whether I should like to have her, which I agreed to, as I +was quite tired of Barbadoes and fried flying fish. + +I selected two midshipmen, Swinburne, and twenty men, and having taken +on board provisions and water for three months, I received my written +instructions from O'Brien, and made sail. We soon discovered that the +masts which the American had sold to the schooner, were much too large +for her; she was considerably overmasted, and we were obliged to be very +careful. I stood for Trinidad, off which island was to be my cruising +ground, and in three weeks had recaptured three West Indiamen, when I +found myself so short of hands, that I was obliged to return to +Barbadoes. I had put four hands into the first vessel, which, with the +Englishmen, prisoners, were sufficient, and, three hands into the two +others; but I was very much embarrassed with my prisoners, who amounted +to nearly double my ship's company remaining on board. Both the +midshipmen I had sent away, and I consulted with Swinburne as to what +was best to be done. + +"Why, the fact is, Mr Simple, Captain O'Brien ought to have given us +more hands; twenty men are little enough for a vessel with a boom +mainsail like the one we have here; and now we have only ten left; but I +suppose he did not expect us to be so lucky, and it's true enough that +he has plenty of work for the ship's company, now that he has to turn +everything in afresh. As for the prisoners, I think we had better run +close in, and give them two of our boats to take them on shore. At all +events, we must be rid of them, and not be obliged to have one eye +aloft, and the other down the hatchway, as we must now." + +This advice corresponded with my own ideas, and I ran in-shore, gave +them the stern boat, and one of the larger ones, which held them all, +and sent them away, leaving only one boat for the schooner, which we +hoisted up in the star-board chess-tree. It fell a dead calm as we sent +away the prisoners; we saw them land and disappear over the rocks, and +thought ourselves well rid of them, as they were twenty-two in number, +most of them Spaniards, and very stout ferocious-looking fellows. It +continued calm during the whole day, much to our annoyance, as I was +very anxious to get away as soon as I could; still I could not help +admiring the beauty of the scenery--the lofty mountains rising abruptly +from the ocean, and towering in the clouds, reflected on the smooth +water, as clear as in a looking-glass, every colour, every tint, +beautifully distinct. The schooner gradually drifted close in-shore, and +we could perceive the rocks at the bottom, many fathoms deep. Not a +breath of wind was to be seen on the surface of the water for several +miles round, although the horizon in the offing showed that there was a +smart breeze outside. + +Night came on, and we still lay becalmed. I gave my orders to Swinburne, +who had the first watch, and retired to my standing bed-place in the +cabin. I was dreaming, and I hardly need say who was the object of my +visions. I thought I was in Eagle Park, sitting down with her under one +of the large chestnut trees, which formed the avenue, when I felt my +shoulder roughly pushed. I started up--"What is the matter? Who's that-- +Swinburne?" + +"Yes, sir. On with your clothes immediately, as we have work on hand, I +expect." And Swinburne left the cabin, and I heard him calling the other +men who were below. I knew that Swinburne would not give a false alarm. +In a minute I was on deck, and was looking at the stern of the schooner. +"What is that, Swinburne?" said I. + +"Silence, sir. Hark! don't you hear them?" + +"Yes," replied I; "the sound of oars." + +"Exactly, sir; depend upon it, those Spaniards have got more help, and +are coming back to take the vessel; they know we have only ten hands on +board." + +By this time the men were all on deck. I directed Swinburne to see all +the muskets loaded, and ran down for my own sword and pistols. The water +was so smooth, and the silence so profound, that Swinburne had heard the +sound of the oars at a considerable distance. Fortunate it was, that I +had such a trusty follower. Another might have slumbered, and the +schooner have been boarded and captured without our being prepared. When +I came on deck again, I spoke to the men, exhorted them to do their +duty, and pointed out to them that these cut-throat villains would +certainly murder us all if we were taken, which I firmly believe would +have been the case. The men declared that they would sell their lives as +dearly as they could. We had twenty muskets, and the same number of +pistols, all of which were now loaded. Our guns were also ready, but of +no use, now that the schooner had not steerage-way. + +The boats were in sight, about a quarter of a mile astern, when +Swinburne said, "There's a cat's-paw flying along the water, Mr Simple; +if we could only have a little wind, how we would laugh at them; but I'm +afraid there's no such luck. Shall we let them know that we are ready?" + +"Let every one of us take two muskets," said I: "when the first boat is +under the counter, take good aim, and discharge into one of the boats; +then seize the other musket, and discharge it at the other boat. After +that we must trust to our cutlasses and pistols; for if they come on, +there will be no time to load again. Keep silence, all of you." + +The boats now came up full of men; but as we remained perfectly quiet, +they pulled up gently, hoping to surprise us. Fortunately, one was a +little in advance of the other; upon which I altered my directions, and +desired my men to fire their second musket into the first boat, as, if +we could disable her, we were an equal match for those in the other. +When the boat was within six yards of the schooner's counter, "Now!" +said I, and all the muskets were discharged at once, and my men cheered. +Several of the oars dropped, and I was sure we had done great execution; +but they were laid hold of by the other men, who had not been pulling, +and again the boat advanced to the counter. + +"Good aim, my lads, this time," cried Swinburne; "the other boat will be +alongside as soon as you have fired. Mr Simple, the schooner has +headway, and there's a strong breeze coming up." + +Again we discharged our ten muskets into the boat, but this time we +waited until the bow-man had hooked on the planeshear with his +boat-hook, and our fire was very effective. I was surprised to find that +the other boat was not on board of us; but a light breeze had come up, +and the schooner glided through the water. Still she was close under our +counter, and would have been aboard in a minute. In the meantime, the +Spaniards who were in the first boat were climbing up the side, and were +repulsed by my men with great success. The breeze freshened, and +Swinburne ran to the helm. I perceived the schooner was going fast +through the water, and the second boat could hardly hold her course. I +ran to where the boat-hook was fixed on the planeshear, and unhooked it; +the boat fell astern, leaving two Spaniards clinging to the side, who +were cut down, and they fell into the water. "Hurrah! all safe!" cried +Swinburne; "and now to punish them." + +The schooner was now darting along at the rate of five miles, with an +increasing breeze. We stood in for two minutes, then tacked, and ran for +the boats. Swinburne steered, and I continued standing in the bows, +surrounded by the rest of the men. "Starboard a little, Swinburne."-- +"Starboard it is." + +"Steady--steady: I see the first boat, she is close under our bows. +Steady--port--port--port a little--port. Look out, my lads, and cut down +all who climb up." + +Crash went the schooner on to the boat, the men in her in vain +endeavouring to escape us. For a second or two she appeared to right, +until her further gunwale was borne down under the water; she turned up, +and the schooner went over her, sending every soul in her to their +account. One man clung on to a rope, and was towed for a few seconds, +but a cutlass divided the rope at the gunwale, and with a faint shriek +he disappeared. The other boat was close to us, and perceived what had +been done. They remained with their oars poised, all ready to pull so as +to evade the schooner. We steered for her, and the schooner was now +running at the rate of seven miles an hour. When close under our bows, +by very dexterously pulling short round with their starboard oars, we +only struck her with our bow; and before she went down many of the +Spaniards had gained the deck, or were clinging to the side of the +vessel. They fought with desperation, but we were too strong for them. +It was only those who had gained the deck which we had to contend with. +The others clung for a time, and, unable to get up the sides, one by one +dropped into the water and went astern. In a minute, those on deck were +lying at our feet, and in a minute more they were tossed overboard after +their companions; not, however, until one of them struck me through the +calf of the leg with his knife as we were lifting him over the gunwale. +I do not mean to say that the Spaniards were not justified in attempting +to take the schooner; but still, as we had liberated them but a few +hours before, we felt that it was unhandsome and treacherous on their +part, and therefore showed them no quarter. There were two of my men +wounded as well as myself, but not severely, which was fortunate, as we +had no surgeon on board, and only about half a yard of a diachylum +plaster in the vessel. + +"Well out of that, sir," said Swinburne, as I limped aft. "By the Lord +Harry! it might have been a _pretty go_." + +Having shaped our course for Barbadoes, I dressed my leg and went down +to sleep. This time I did not dream of Celeste, but fought the Spaniards +over again, thought I was wounded, and awoke with the pain of my leg. + + + + +Chapter LI + +Peter turned out of his command by his vessel turning bottom up--A +cruise on a main-boom, with sharks _en attendant_--Self and crew, with +several flying fish, taken on board a negro boat--Peter regenerates by +putting on a new outward man. + + +We made Barbadoes without any further adventure, and were about ten +miles off the bay, steering with a very light breeze, and I went down +into the cabin, expecting to be at anchor before breakfast the next +morning. It was just daylight, when I found myself thrown out of my +bed-place on the deck, on the other side of the cabin, and heard the +rushing of water. I sprang up, I knew the schooner was on her beam ends, +and gained the deck. I was correct in my supposition: she had been upset +by what is called a white squall, and in two minutes would be down. All +the men were up on deck, some dressed, others, like myself, in their +shirts. Swinburne was aft; he had an axe in his hand, cutting away the +rigging of the main-boom. I saw what he was about; I seized another, and +disengaged the jaw-rope and small gear about the mast. We had no other +chance; our boat was under the water, being hoisted up on the side to +leeward. All this, however, was but the work of two minutes; and I could +not help observing by what trifles lives are lost or saved. Had the axe +not been fortunately at the capstern, I should not have been able to cut +the jaw-rope, Swinburne would not have had time, and the main-boom would +have gone down with the schooner. Fortunately we had cleared it; the +schooner filled, righted a little, and then sank, dragging us and the +main-boom for a few seconds down in its vortex, and then we rose to the +surface. + +The squall still continued, but the water was smooth. It soon passed +over, and again it was nearly calm. I counted the men clinging to the +boom, and found that they were all there. Swinburne was next to me. He +was holding with one hand, while with the other he felt in his pocket +for a quid of tobacco, which he thrust into his cheek. "I wasn't on deck +at the time, Mr Simple," said he, "or this wouldn't have happened. I had +just been relieved, and I told Collins to look out sharp for squalls. I +only mention it, that if you are saved, and I am not, you mayn't think I +was neglectful of my duty. We arn't far from the land, but still we are +more likely to fall in with a shark than a friend, I'm thinking." + +These, indeed, had been my thoughts, but I had concealed them; but after +Swinburne had mentioned the shark, I very often looked along the water +for their fins, and down below to see if they were coming up to tear us +to pieces. It was a dreadful feeling. + +"It was not your fault, Swinburne, I am sure. I ought to have relieved +you myself, but I kept the first watch, and was tired. We must put our +trust in God; perhaps, we may yet be spared." + +It was now almost calm, and the sun had mounted in the heavens: the +scorching rays were intolerable upon our heads, for we had not the +defence of hats. I felt my brain on fire, and was inclined to drop into +the water, to screen myself from the intolerable heat. As the day +advanced so did our sufferings increase. It was a dead calm, the sun +perpendicular over us, actually burning that part of our bodies which +rose clear of the water. I could have welcomed even a shark to relieve +me of my torment; but I thought of Celeste, and I clung to life. Towards +the afternoon I felt sick and dizzy; my resolution failed me; my vision +was imperfect; but I was roused by Swinburne, who cried out, "A boat, by +all that's gracious! Hang on a little longer, my men, and you are +saved." + +It was a boat full of negroes, who had come out to catch flying-fish. +They had perceived the spar on the water, and hastened to secure the +prize. They dragged us all in, gave us water, which appeared like +nectar, and restored us to our fleeting senses. They made fast the boom, +and towed it in-shore. We had not been ten minutes on our way, when +Swinburne pointed to the fin of a large shark above the water. "Look +there, Mr Simple." I shuddered, and made no answer; but I thanked God in +my heart. + +In two hours we were landed, but were too ill to walk. We were carried +up to the hospital, bled, and put into cots. I had a brain fever, which +lasted six or seven days, during which O'Brien never left my bedside. My +head was shaved, all the skin came off my face like a mask, as well as +off my back and shoulders. We were put into baths of brandy and water, +and in three weeks were all recovered. + +"That was but an unlucky schooner from beginning to end," observed +O'Brien, after I had narrated the events of my cruise. "We had a bad +beginning with her, and we had a bad ending. She's gone to the bottom, +and the devil go with her; however, all's well that ends well, and, +Peter, you're worth a dozen dead men yet; but you occasion me a great +deal of trouble and anxiety, that's the truth of it, and I doubt if I +shall ever rear you, after all." + +I returned to my duty on board of the brig, which was now nearly ready +for sea. One morning O'Brien came on board and said, "Peter, I've a +piece of news for you. Our gunner is appointed to the _Araxes_, and the +admiral has given me a gunner's warrant for old Swinburne. Send for him +on deck." + +Swinburne was summoned, and came rolling up the hatchway. "Swinburne," +said O'Brien, "you have done your duty well, and you are now gunner of +the _Rattlesnake_. Here is your warrant, and I've great pleasure in +getting it for you." + +Swinburne turned the quid in his cheek, and then replied, "May I be so +bold as to ax, Captain O'Brien, whether I must wear one of them long +tog, swallow-tailed coats--because, if so, I'd prefer being a +quarter-master?" + +"A gunner may wear a jacket, Swinburne, if he likes; when you go on +shore you may bend the swallow-tail, if you please." + +"Well, sir, then if that's the case, I'll take the warrant, because I +know it will please the old woman." + +So saying, Swinburne hitched up his trousers, and went down below. I may +here observe that Swinburne kept his round jacket until our arrival in +England, when the "old woman," his wife, who thought her dignity at +stake, soon made him ship the swallow-tail; and, after it was once on, +Swinburne took a fancy to it, and always wore it, except when he was at +sea. + +The same evening, as I was coming with O'Brien from the governor's +house, where I had dined, we passed a building, lighted up. "What can +that be?" observed O'Brien; "not a dignity ball--there is no music." Our +curiosity induced us to enter, and we found it to be fitted up as a +temporary chapel, filled with black and coloured people, who were ranged +on the forms, and waiting for the preacher. + +"It is a Methodist meeting," said I to O'Brien. + +"Never mind," said he, "let us hear what is going on." + +In a moment afterwards the pulpit was filled, not by a white man, as we +had anticipated, but by a tall negro. He was dressed in black, and his +hair, which it was impossible to comb down straight, was plaited into +fifty little tails, well tied at the end of them, like you sometimes see +the mane of a horse; this produced a somewhat more clerical appearance. +His throat was open and collar laid back; the wristbands of his shirt +very large and white, and he flourished a white cambric handkerchief. + +"What a dandy he is!" whispered O'Brien. + +I thought it almost too absurd when he said he would take the liberty to +praise God in the 17th hymn, and beg all the company to join chorus. He +then gave out the stanzas in the most strange pronunciation. + + "Gentle Jesus, God um lub," &c. + +When the hymn was finished, which was sung by the whole congregation, in +the most delightful discord,--everyone chose his own key--he gave an +extempore prayer, which was most unfortunately incomprehensible, and +then commenced his discourse, which was on _Faith_. I shall omit the +head and front of his offending, which would, perhaps, hardly be +gratifying although ludicrous. He reminded me of a monkey imitating a +man; but what amused me most was his finale, in which he told his +audience that there could be no faith without charity. For a little +while he descanted upon this generally, and at last became personal. His +words were, as well as I can recollect, nearly as follows:-- + +"And now you see, my dear bredren, how unpossible to go to heaven, with +all the faith in the world, without charity. Charity mean, give away. +Suppose you no give--you no ab charity; suppose you no ab charity--you +no ab faith; suppose you no ab faith--you all go to hell and be damned. +Now den, let me see if you ab charity. Here, you see, I come to save all +your soul from hell-fire; and hell-fire dam hot, I can tell you. Dere +you all burn like coal, till you turn white powder, and den burn on till +you come black again; and so you go on, burn, burn, sometime white, +sometime black, for ebber and ebber. The debil never allow Sangoree to +cool tongue. No, no cocoa-nut milk,--not a lilly drap of water; debil +see you damned first. Suppose you ask, he poke um fire, and laugh. Well, +den, ab you charity? No, you ab not. You, Quashee, how you dare look me +in the face? You keep shop--you sell egg--you sell yam--you sell pepper +hot--but when you give to me? Eh! nebber, so help me God. Suppose you no +send--you no ab charity, and you go to hell. You black Sambo," continued +he, pointing to a man in the corner, "ab very fine boat, go out all day, +catch fly-fish, bring um back, fry um, and sell for money; but when you +send to me? not one little fish ebber find way to my mouth. What I tell +you 'bout Peter and 'postles--all fishermen; good men, give 'way to +poor. Sambo, you no ab charity; and 'spose you no repent this week, and +send one very fine fish in plantain leaf, you go to hell, and burn for +ebber and ebber. Eh! so you will run away, Massa Johnson," cried he out +to another, who was edging to the door; "but you no run away from +hell-fire: when debil catch you, he hold dam tight. You know you kill +sheep and goat ebery day. You send bell ring all 'bout town for people +to come buy; but when you send to me? nebber, 'cept once, you gave me +lilly bit of libber. That not do, Massa Johnson; you no ab charity; and +suppose you no send me sheep's head to-morrow morning, dam you libber, +that's all. I see many more, but I see um all very sorry, and dat they +mean to sin no more, so dis time I let um off, and say noting about it, +because I know plenty of plantain and banana (pointing to one) and +oranges and shaddock (pointing to another), and salt fish (pointing to a +fourth), and ginger-pop and spruce beer (pointing to a fifth), and a +straw hat (pointing to a sixth), and eberything else, come to my house +to-morrow. So I say no more 'bout it; I see you all very sorry--you only +forget. You all ab charity, and all ab faith; so now, my dear bredren, +we go down on our knees, and thank God for all this, and more especially +that I save all your souls from going to the debil, who run about +Barbadoes like one roaring lion, seeking what he may lay hold of, and +cram into his dam fiery jaw." + +"That will do, Peter," said O'Brien; "we have the cream of it, I think." + +We left the house, and walked down to the boat. "Surely, O'Brien," said +I, "this should not be permitted?" + +"He's no worse than his neighbours," replied O'Brien, "and perhaps does +less harm. I admire the rascal's ingenuity; he gave his flock what, in +Ireland, we should call a pretty broad hint." + +"Yes, there was no mistaking him: but is he a licensed preacher?" + +"Very little licence in his preaching, I take it; no, I suppose he has +had a _call_." + +"A call!--what do you mean?" + +"I mean that he wants to fill his belly. Hunger is a call of nature, +Peter." + +"He seems to want a good many things, if we were to judge by his +catalogue; what a pity it is that these poor people are not better +instructed." + +"That they never will be, Peter, while there is what may be called free +trade in religion." + +"You speak like a Catholic, O'Brien." + +"I am one," replied he. And here our conversation ended, for we were +close to the boat, which was waiting for us on the beach. + +The next day a man-of-war brig arrived from England, bringing letters +for the squadron on the station. I had two from my sister Ellen which +made me very uncomfortable. She stated that my father had seen my uncle, +Lord Privilege, and had had high words with him; indeed, as far as she +could ascertain of the facts, my father had struck my uncle, and had +been turned out of the house by the servants; that he had returned in a +state of great excitement, and was very ill ever since; that there was a +great deal of talk in the neighbourhood on the subject, people generally +highly blaming my father's conduct, thinking that he was deranged in his +intellect--a supposition very much encouraged by my uncle. She again +expressed her hopes of my speedy return. I had now been absent nearly +three years, and she had been so uncomfortable that she felt as if it +had been at least ten. O'Brien also received a letter from Father +M'Grath, which I shall lay before the reader:-- + + "MY DEAR SON,--Long life, and all the blessings of all the saints be + upon you now and for evermore! Amen. And may you live to be married, + and may I dance at your wedding, and may you never want children, and + may they grow up as handsome as their father and their mother (whoever + she may hereafter be), and may you die of a good old age, and in the + true faith, and be waked handsomely, as your own father was last + Friday s'ennight, seeing as how he took it into his head to leave this + world for a better. It was a very dacent funeral-procession, my dear + Terence, and your father must have been delighted to see himself so + well attinded. No man ever made a more handsome corpse, considering + how old, and thin, and haggard he had grown of late, and how gray his + hair had turned. He held the nosegay between his fingers, across his + breast as natural as life, and reminded us all of the blessed saint, + Pope Gregory, who was called to glory some hundred years before either + you or I was born. + + "Your mother's quite comfortable; and there she sits in her ould + chair, rocking to and fro all day long, and never speaking a word to + nobody, thinking about heaven, I dare to say; which is just what she + ought to do, seeing that she stands a very pretty chance of going + there in the course of a month or so. Divil a word has she ever said + since your father's departure, but then she screamed and yelled enough + to last for seven years at the least. She screamed away all her senses + anyhow, for she has done nothing since but cough, cough, and fumble at + her pater-nosters--a very blessed way to pass the remainder of her + days, seeing that I expect her to drop every minute like an over-ripe + sleepy pear. So don't think any more about her, my son, for without + you are back in a jiffy, her body will be laid in consecrated ground, + and her happy, blessed soul in purgatory. _Pax vobiscum._ Amen! amen! + + "And now having disposed of your father and your mother so much to + your satisfaction, I'll just tell you that Ella's mother died in the + convent at Dieppe, but whether she kept her secret or not I do not + know; but this I do know, that if she didn't relieve her soul by + confession, she's damned to all eternity. Thanks be to God for all his + mercies. Amen! Ella Flanagan is still alive, and, for a nun, is as + well as can be expected. I find that she knows nothing at all about + the matter of the exchanging the genders of the babbies--only that her + mother was on oath to Father M'Dermot, who ought to be hanged, drawn, + and quartered instead of those poor fellows whom the government called + rebels, but who were no more rebels than Father M'Grath himself, + who'll uphold the Pretender, as they call our true Catholic king, as + long as there's life in his body or a drop of whiskey left in ould + Ireland to drink his health wid.-- + + "Talking about Father M'Dermot puts me in mind that the bishop has not + yet decided our little bit of a dispute, saying that he must take time + to think about it. Now, considering that it's just three years since + the row took place, the old gentleman must be a very slow thinker not + to have found out by this time that I was in the right, and that + Father M'Dermot, the baste, is not good enough to be hanged. + + "Your two married sisters are steady and diligent young women, having + each made three children since you last saw them. Fine boys, every + mother's son of them, with elegant spacious features, and famous + mouths for taking in whole potatoes. By the powers, but the offsets of + the tree of the O'Briens begin to make a noise in the land, anyhow, as + you would say if you only heard them roaring for their bit of suppers. + + "And now, my dear son Terence, the real purport of this letter, which + is just to put to your soul's conscience, as a dutiful son, whether + you ought not to send me a small matter of money to save your poor + father's soul from pain and anguish--for it's no joke that being in + purgatory, I can tell you; and you wouldn't care how soon you were + tripped out of it yourself. I only wish you had but your little toe in + it, and then you'd burn with impatience to have it out again. But + you're a dutiful son, so I'll say no more about it--a nod's as good as + a wink to a blind horse. + + "When your mother goes, which, with the blessing of God, will be in a + very little while, seeing that she has only to follow her senses, + which are gone already, I'll take upon myself to sell everything, as + worldly goods and chattels are of no use to dead people; and I have no + doubt but that, what with the furniture and the two cows, and the + pigs, and the crops in the ground, there will be enough to save her + soul from the flames, and bury her dacently into the bargain. However, + as you are the heir-at-law, seeing that the property is all your own, + I'll keep a debtor and creditor account of the whole; and should there + be any over, I'll use it all out in masses, so as to send her up to + heaven by express; and if there's not sufficient, she must remain + where she is till you come back and make up the deficiency. In the + meanwhile I am your loving father in the faith, + + "URTAGH M'GRATH." + + + + +Chapter LII + +Good sense in Swinburne--No man a hero to his valet de chambre, or a +prophet in his own country--O'Brien takes a step by strategy--O'Brien +parts with his friend, and Peter's star no longer in the ascendant. + + +O'Brien was sorry for the death of his father, but he could not feel as +most people would have done, as his father had certainly never been a +father to him. He was sent to sea to be got rid of, and ever since he +had been there, had been the chief support of his family; his father was +very fond of whiskey, and not very fond of exertion. He was too proud of +the true Milesian blood in his veins to do anything to support himself, +but not too proud to live upon his son's hard-earned gains. For his +mother O'Brien felt very much; she had always been kind and +affectionate, and was very fond of him. Sailors, however, are so +estranged from their families when they have been long in their +profession and so accustomed to vicissitudes, that no grief for the loss +of a relation lasts very long, and in a week O'Brien had recovered his +usual spirits, when a vessel brought us the intelligence that a French +squadron had been seen off St Domingo. This put us all on the _qui +vive_. O'Brien was sent for by the admiral, and ordered to hasten his +brig for sea with all possible despatch, as he was to proceed with +despatches to England forthwith. In three days we were reported ready, +received our orders, and at eight o'clock in the evening made sail from +Carlisle Bay. "Well, Mr Swinburne," said I, "how do you like your new +situation?" + +"Why, Mr Simple, I like it well enough; and it's not disagreeable to be +an officer, and sit in your own cabin; but still I feel that I should +get on better if I were in another ship. I've been hail-fellow well met +with the ship's company so long, that I can't top the officer over them, +and we can't get the duty done as smart as I could wish: and then at +night I find it very lonely stuck up in my cabin like a parson's clerk, +and nobody to talk to; for the other warrants are particular, and say +that I'm only acting, and may not be confirmed, so they hold aloof. I +don't much like being answerable for all that lot of gunpowder--it's +queer stuff to handle." + +"Very true, Swinburne; but still, if there were no responsibility, we +should require no officers. You recollect that you are now provided for +life, and will have half-pay." + +"That's what made me bite, Mr Simple. I thought of the old woman, and +how comfortable it would make her in her old age; and so, d'ye see, I +sacrificed myself." + +"How long have you been married, Swinburne?" + +"Ever since Christmas '94. I wasn't going to be hooked carelessly, so I +nibbled afore I took the bait. Had four years' trial of her first, and, +finding that she had plenty of ballast, I sailed her as my own." + +"How do you mean by plenty of ballast?" + +"I don't mean, Mr Simple, a broad bow and square hulk. You know very +well that if a vessel has not ballast, she's bottom up in no time. Now, +what keeps a woman stiff under her canvas is her modesty." + +"Very true; but it's a rare commodity on the beach." + +"And why, Mr Simple? because liquor is more valued. Many a good man has +found it to be his bane; and as for a woman, when once she takes to it, +she's like a ship without a rudder, and goes right before the wind to +the devil. Not that I think a man ought not to take a nor-wester or two, +when he can get them. Rum was not given by God Almighty only to make the +niggers dance, but to make all our hearts glad; neither do I see why a +woman is to stand out neither; what's good for Jack can't hurt Poll; +only there is a medium, as they say, in all things, and half-an-half is +quite strong enough." + +"I should think it was," replied I, laughing. + +"But don't be letting me prevent you from keeping a look-out, Mr +Simple.--You, Hoskins, you're half a point off the wind. Luff you may.-- +I think, Mr Simple, that Captain O'Brien didn't pick out the best man, +when he made Tom Alsop a quarter-master in my place." + +"Why, he is a very steady, good man, Swinburne." + +"Yes, so he is; but he has natural defects, which shouldn't be +overlooked. I doubt if he can see so far as the head of the mainsail." + +"I was not aware of that." + +"No, but I was. Alsop wants to sarve out his time for his pension, and +when he has sarved, you see if, when the surgeons examine him, they +don't invalid him, as blind as a bat. I should like to have him as +gunner's mate, and that's just what he's fit for. But, Mr Simple, I +think we shall have some bad weather. The moon looks greasy, and the +stars want snuffing. You'll have two reefs in the topsails afore +morning. There's five bells striking. Now I'll turn in; if I didn't keep +half the first, and half the morning watch, I shouldn't sleep all the +night. I miss my regular watch very much, Mr Simple--habit's everything +--and I don't much fancy a standing bed-place, it's so large, and I feel +so cold of my sides. Nothing like a hammock, after all. Good-night, Mr +Simple." + +Our orders were to proceed with all _possible_ despatch; and O'Brien +carried on day and night, generally remaining up himself till one or two +o'clock in the morning. We had very favourable weather, and in a little +more than a month we passed the Lizard. The wind being fair, we passed +Plymouth, ran up Channel, and anchored at Spithead. + +After calling upon the admiral, O'Brien set off for town with his +despatches, and left me in command of the ship. In three days I received +a letter from him, informing me that he had seen the First Lord, who had +asked him a great many questions concerning the station he had quitted; +that he had also complimented O'Brien on his services. "On that hint I +spake," continued O'Brien; "I ventured to insinuate to his lordship, +that I had hoped I had earned my promotion; and as there is nothing like +_quartering on the enemy_, I observed that I had not applied to Lord +Privilege, as I considered my services would have been sufficient, +without any application on his part. His lordship returned a very +gracious answer: said that my Lord Privilege was a great ally of his, +and very friendly to the government; and inquired when I was going to +see him. I replied, that I certainly should not pay my respects to his +lordship at present, unless there was occasion for it, as I must take a +more favourable opportunity. So I hope that good may come from the great +lord's error, which, of course, I shall not correct, as I feel I deserve +my promotion--and you know, Peter, if you can't gain it by _hook_, you +must by _crook_." He then concluded his letter; but there was a +postscript as follows: + +"Wish me joy, my dear Peter. I have this moment received a letter from +the private secretary, to say that I am _posted_, and appointed to the +_Semiramis_ frigate, about to set sail for the East Indies. She is all +ready to start; and now I must try to get you with me, of which I have +no doubt; as, although her officers have been long appointed there will +be little difficulty of success, when I mention your relationship to +Lord Privilege, and while they remain in error as to his taking an +interest in my behalf." I rejoiced at O'Brien's good fortune. His +promotion I had considered certain, as his services had entitled him to +it; but the command of so fine a frigate must have been given upon the +supposition that it would be agreeable to my uncle, who was not only a +prime supporter, but a very useful member, of the Tory Government. I +could not help laughing to myself, at the idea of O'Brien obtaining his +wishes from the influence of a person who probably detested him as much +as one man could detest another; and I impatiently waited for O'Brien's +next letter, by which I hoped to find myself appointed to the +_Semiramis_; but a sad _contretemps_ took place. + +O'Brien did not write; but came down two days afterwards, hastened on +board the _Semiramis_, read his commission, and assumed the command +before even he had seen me; he then sent his gig on board of the +_Rattlesnake_ to desire me to come to him directly. I did so, and we +went down into the cabin of the frigate. "Peter," said he, "I was +obliged to hasten down and read myself captain of this ship, as I am in +fear that things are not going on well. I had called to pay my respects +at the Admiralty, previous to joining, and was kicking my heels in the +waiting-room, when who should walk up the passage, as if he were a +captain on his own quarter-deck, but your uncle, Lord Privilege. His eye +met mine--he recognised me immediately--and, if it did not flash fire, +it did something very like it. He asked a few questions of one of the +porters, and was giving his card, when my name was called for. I passed +him, and up I went to the First Lord, thanked him for the frigate; and +having received a great many compliments upon my exertions in the West +India station, made my bow and retired. I had intended to have requested +your appointment, but I knew that your name would bring up Lord +Privilege's; and, moreover, your uncle's card was brought up and laid +upon the table while I was sitting there. The First Lord, I presume, +thought that his lordship was come to thank him for his kindness to me, +which only made him more civil. I made my bow and went down, when I met +the eye of Lord Privilege; who looked daggers at me as he walked up +stairs--for, of course, he was admitted immediately after my audience +was finished. Instead of waiting to hear the result of the explanation, +I took a post-chaise, and have come down here as fast as four horses can +bring me, and have read myself in--for, Peter, I feel sure, that if not +on board, my commission will be cancelled; and I know that if once in +command, as I am now, I can call for a court-martial, to clear my +character if I am superseded. I know that the Admiralty _can_ do +anything, but still they will be cautious in departing from the rules of +the service, to please even Lord Privilege. I looked up at the sky as +soon as I left the Admiralty portico, and was glad to see that the +weather was so thick, and the telegraph not at work, or I might have +been too late. Now I'll go on shore, and report myself to the admiral, +as having taken the command of the _Semiramis_." + +O'Brien went on shore to report himself, was well received by the +admiral, who informed him, that if he had any arrangements to make, he +could not be too soon, as he should not be surprised if his sailing +orders came down the next morning. This was very annoying, as I could +not see how I should be able to join O'Brien's ship, even if I could +effect an exchange, in so short a time. I therefore hastened on board of +the _Semiramis_, and applied to the officers to know if any of them were +willing to exchange into the _Rattlesnake_; but, although they did not +much like going to the East Indies, they would not exchange into a brig, +and I returned disappointed. The next morning, the admiral sent for +O'Brien, and told him confidentially, for he was the same admiral who +had received O'Brien when he had escaped from prison with me, and was +very kind to him, that there was some _hitch_ about his having the +_Semiramis_, and that orders had come down to pay her off, all standing, +and examine her bottom, if Captain O'Brien had not joined her. "Do you +understand what this means?" said the admiral, who was anxious to know +the reason. + +O'Brien answered frankly, that Lord Privilege, by whose interest he had +obtained his former command, was displeased with him; and that, as he +saw him go up to the First Lord, he had no doubt but that his lordship +had said something to his disadvantage, as he was a very vindictive man. + +"Well," said the admiral, "it's lucky that you have taken the command, +as they cannot well displace you, or send her into dock without a +survey, and upon your representation." + +And so it proved; the First Lord, when he found that O'Brien had joined, +took no further steps, but allowed the frigate to proceed to her +intended destination. But all chance of my sailing with him was done +away, and now, for the first time, I had to part with O'Brien. I +remained with him the whole time that I could be spared from my duties. +O'Brien was very much annoyed, but there was no help. "Never mind, +Peter," said he, "I've been thinking that perhaps it's all for the best. +You will see more of the world, and be no longer in leading-strings. You +are now a fine man grown up, big enough and ugly enough, as they say, to +take care of yourself. We shall meet again; and if we don't, why then, +God bless you, my boy, and don't forget O'Brien." + +Three days afterwards, O'Brien's orders came down. I accompanied him on +board; and it was not until the ship was under weigh, and running +towards the Needles with a fair wind, that I shook hands with him, and +shoved off. Parting with O'Brien was a heavy blow to me; but I little +knew how much I was to suffer before I saw him again. + + + + +Chapter LIII + +I am pleased with my new captain--Obtain leave to go home--Find my +father afflicted with a very strange disease, and prove myself a very +good doctor, although the disorder always breaks out in a fresh place. + + +The day after O'Brien had sailed for the East Indies, the dockyard men +came on board to survey the brig, and she was found so defective as to +be ordered into dock. I had received letters from my sister, who was +overjoyed at the intelligence of my safe return, and the anticipation of +seeing me. The accounts of my father were, however, very unsatisfactory. +My sister wrote, that disappointment and anxiety had had such an effect +upon him, that he was deranged in his intellects. Our new captain came +down to join us. He was a very young man, and had never before commanded +a ship. His character as lieutenant was well known, and not very +satisfactory, being that of a harsh, unpleasant officer; but, as he had +never been first lieutenant, it was impossible to say what he might +prove when in command of a ship. Still we were a little anxious about +it, and severely regretted the loss of O'Brien. He came on board the +hulk to which the ship's company's had been turned over, and read his +commission. He proved to be all affability, condescension, and +good-nature. To me, he was particularly polite, stating that he should +not interfere with me in carrying on the duty, as I must be so well +acquainted with the ship's company. We thought that those who gave us +the information must have been prejudiced or mistaken in his character. +During the half hour that he remained on board, I stated, that now that +the brig was in dock, I should like very much to have an opportunity of +seeing my friends, if he would sanction my asking for leave. To this he +cheerfully consented, adding, that he would extend it upon his own +responsibility. My letter to the Admiralty was therefore forwarded +through him, and was answered in the affirmative. The day afterwards, I +set off by the coach, and once more embraced my dear sister. + +After the first congratulations were over, I inquired about my father; +she replied, that he was so wild that nobody could manage him. That he +was melancholy and irritable at the same time, and was certainly +deranged, fancying himself to be made of various substances, or to be in +a certain trade or capacity. That he generally remained in this way four +or five days, when he went to bed, and slept for twenty-four hours, or +more, and awoke with some new strange imagination in his head. His +language was violent, but that, in other respects, he seemed to be more +afraid of other people, than inclined to be mischievous, and that every +day he was getting more strange and ridiculous. He had now just risen +from one of his long naps, and was in his study; that before he had +fallen asleep he had fancied himself to be a carpenter, and had sawed +and chopped up several articles of furniture in the house. + +I quitted my sister to see my father, whom I found in his easy-chair. I +was much shocked at his appearance. He was thin and haggard, his eye was +wild, and he remained with his mouth constantly open. A sick-nurse, who +had been hired by my sister, was standing by him. + +"Pish, pish, pish, pish!" cried my father; "what can you, a stupid old +woman, know about my inside? I tell you the gas is generating fast, and +even now I can hardly keep on my chair. I'm lifting--lifting now; and if +you don't tie me down with cords, I shall go up like a balloon." + +"Indeed, sir," replied the woman, "it's only the wind in your stomach. +You'll break it off directly." + +"It's inflammable gas, you old Hecate!--I know it is. Tell me, will you +get a cord, or will you not? Hah! who's that--Peter? Why you've dropped +from the clouds, just in time to see me mount up to them." + +"I hope you feel yourself better, sir," said I. + +"I feel myself a great deal lighter every minute. Get a cord, Peter, and +tie me to the leg of the table." + +I tried to persuade him that he was under a mistake; but it was useless. +He became excessively violent, and said I wished him in heaven. As I had +heard that it was better to humour people afflicted with +hypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my father +laboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that if +we could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a good plan." + +"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully. + +"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of course +draw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth." + +"My dear Peter, you have saved my life: be quick, though, or I shall go +up, right through the ceiling." + +Fortunately, there was an instrument of that description in the house. I +applied it to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air, +and re-applied it. In two minutes he pronounced himself better, and I +left the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerably +pacified. I returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had passed; +but it was no source of mirth to us, although, had it happened to an +indifferent person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her, +as I must soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by my +father's unfortunate malady, was very distressing. But we entered into a +long conversation, in which I recounted the adventures that had taken +place since I had left her, and for the time forgot our source of +annoyance and regret. For three days my father insisted upon the old +woman pumping the gas out of his body; after that, he again fell into +one of his sleeps, which lasted nearly thirty hours. + +When he arose, I went again to see him. It was eight o'clock in the +evening, and I entered with a candle. "Take it away--quick, take it +away; put it out carefully." + +"Why, what's the matter, sir?" + +"Don't come near me, if you love me; don't come near me. Put it out, I +say--put it out." + +I obeyed his orders, and then asked him the reason. "Reason!" said he, +now that we were in the dark; "can't you see?" + +"No, father; I can see nothing in the dark." + +"Well, then, Peter, I'm a magazine, full of gunpowder; the least spark +in the world, and I am blown up. Consider the danger. You surely would +not be the destruction of your father, Peter?" and the poor old +gentleman burst into tears, and wept like a child. + +I knew that it was in vain to reason with him. "My dear father," said I, +"on board ship, when there is any danger of this kind, we always _float_ +the magazine. Now, if you were to drink a good deal of water, the powder +would be spoiled, and there would be no danger." My father was satisfied +with my proposal, and drank a tumbler of water every half-hour, which +the old nurse was obliged to supply as fast as he called for it; and +this satisfied him for three or four days, and I was again left to the +company of my dear Ellen, when my father again fell into his stupor, and +we wondered what would be his next fancy. I was hastily summoned by the +nurse, and found my poor father lying in bed, and breathing in a very +strange manner. "What is the matter, my dear sir?" inquired I. + +"Why don't you see what is the matter? How is a poor little infant, just +born, to live, unless its mother is near to suckle it, and take care of +it?" + +"Indeed, sir, do you mean to say that you are just born?" + +"To be sure I do. I'm dying for the breast." + +This was almost too absurd; but I gravely observed, "That it was all +very true, but unfortunately his mother had died in childbirth, and the +only remedy was to bring him up by hand." + +He agreed with me. I desired the nurse to make some gruel with brandy, +and feed him; which she did, and he took the gruel just as if he were a +baby. I was about to wish him goodnight, when he beckoned to me, and +said, "Peter, she hasn't changed my napkin." This was too much, and I +could not help laughing. I told the nurse what he said, and she replied, +"Lord bless you, sir, what matter? if the old gentleman takes a fancy, +why not indulge him? I'll fetch the kitchen table-cloth." This fit +lasted about six days; for he went to sleep, because a baby always slept +much: and I was in hopes it would last much longer: but he again went +off into his lethargic fit, and, after a long sleep, awoke with a new +fancy. My time had nearly expired, and I had written to my new captain, +requesting an extension of leave, but I received an answer stating that +it could not be granted, and requesting me to join the brig immediately. +I was rather surprised at this, but of course was compelled to obey; +and, embracing my dear sister once more, set off for Portsmouth. I +advised her to humour my father, and this advice she followed; but his +fancies were such, occasionally, as would have puzzled the most +inventive genius to combat, or to find the remedy which he might +acknowledge to be requisite. His health became certainly worse and +worse, and his constitution was evidently destroyed by a slow, +undermining, bodily and mental fever. The situation of my poor sister +was very distressing; and I quitted her with melancholy forebodings. + +I ought here to observe that I received all my prize-money, amounting to +£1560, a large sum for a lieutenant. I put it into the funds, and gave a +power of attorney to Ellen, requesting her to use it as her own. We +consulted as to what she should do if my father should die, and agreed +that all his debts, which we knew to amount to three or four hundred +pounds, should be paid, and that she should manage how she could upon +what was left of my father's property, and the interest of my +prize-money. + + + + +Chapter LIV + +We receive our sailing orders, and orders of every description--A +quarter-deck conversation--Listeners never hear any good of themselves. + + +When I arrived at Portsmouth, I reported myself to the captain, who +lived at the hotel. I was ushered into his room to wait for him, as he +was dressing to dine with the admiral. My eyes naturally turned to what +lay on the table, merely from the feeling which one has to pass away the +time, not from curiosity; and I was much surprised to see a pile of +letters, the uppermost of which was franked by Lord Privilege. This, +however, might be merely accidental; but my curiosity was excited, and I +lifted up the letter, and found that the second, the third, and indeed +at least ten of these were franked by my uncle. I could not imagine how +there could be any intimacy between him and my uncle, and was reflecting +upon it when Captain Hawkins, for that was his name, entered the room. +He was very kind and civil, apologized for not being able to extend my +leave, which, he said, was because he had consulted the admiral, who +would not sanction the absence of the first lieutenant, and had very +peremptorily desired he would recall me immediately. I was satisfied: he +shook my hand, and we parted. On my arrival on board the hulk, for the +brig was still in dock, I was warmly received by my messmates. They told +me that the captain had, generally speaking, been very civil, but that, +occasionally, the marks of the cloven foot appeared. + +"Webster," said I, to the second lieutenant, "do you know anything about +his family or connections?" + +"It is a question I have asked of those who have sailed with him, and +they all say that he never speaks of his own family, but very often +boasts of his intimacy with the nobility. Some say that he is a +_bye-blow_ of some great man." + +I reflected very much upon this, and connecting it with the numerous +franks of Lord Privilege, which I saw on the table, had my misgivings; +but then I knew that I could do my duty, and had no reason to fear any +man. I resolved, in my own mind, to be very correct, and put it out of +the power of any one to lay hold of me, and then dismissed the subject. +The brig was repaired and out of dock, and for some days I was very busy +getting her ready for sea. I never quitted her; in fact, I had no wish. +I never had any taste for bad company and midnight orgies, and I had no +acquaintance with the respectable portion of the inhabitants of +Portsmouth. At last the ship's company were removed into the brig: we +went out of harbour, and anchored at Spithead. + +Captain Hawkins came on board and gave me an order-book, saying, "Mr +Simple, I have a great objection to written orders, as I consider that +the articles of war are quite sufficient to regulate any ship. Still, a +captain is in a very responsible situation, and if any accident occurs +he is held amenable. I therefore have framed a few orders of my own for +the interior discipline of the vessel, which may probably save me +harmless, in case of being _hauled over the coals_; but not with any +wish that they should interfere with the comforts of the officers, only +to guard against any mischance, of which the _onus_ may fall upon +myself." + +I received the order-book, and the captain went ashore. When I went down +into the gun-room, to look through it, I at once perceived that if +rigidly conformed to, every officer in the ship would be rendered +uncomfortable; and if not conformed to, I should be the party that was +answerable. I showed it to Webster, who agreed with me, and gave it as +his opinion that the captain's good nature and amiability were all a +blind, and that he was intending to lay hold of us as soon as it was in +his power. I therefore called all the officers together, and told them +my opinion. Webster supported me, and it was unanimously agreed that the +orders should be obeyed, although not without remonstrance. The major +part of the orders, however, only referred to the time that the brig was +in harbour; and, as we were about to proceed to sea, it was hardly worth +while saying anything at present. The orders for the sailing of the brig +came down, and by the same post I received a letter from my sister +Ellen, stating that they had heard from Captain Fielding, who had +immediately written to Bombay, where the regiment was stationed, and had +received an answer, informing him that there was no married man in the +regiment of the name of Sullivan, and no woman who had followed that +regiment of that name. This at once put an end to all our researches +after the wet-nurse, who had been confined in my uncle's house. Where +she had been sent, it was of course impossible to say; but I gave up all +chance of discovering my uncle's treachery; and, as I thought of +Celeste, sighed at the little hope I had of ever being united to her. I +wrote a long letter to O'Brien, and the next day we sailed for our +station in the North Sea. + +The captain added a night order-book to the other, and sent it up every +evening, to be returned in the morning, with the signature of every +officer of the night watches. He also required all our signatures to his +general order-book, that we might not say we had not read them. I had +the first watch, when Swinburne came up to me. "Well, Mr Simple, I do +not think we have made much by our exchange of captains; and I have a +shrewd suspicion we shall have squalls ere long." + +"We must not judge too hastily, Swinburne," replied I. + +"No, no--I don't say that we should; but still, one must go a little by +looks in the world, and I'm sure his looks wouldn't help him much. He's +just like a winter's day, short and dirty; and he walks the deck as if +planks were not good enough for his feet. Mr Williams says, he looks as +if he were 'big with the fate of Cato and of Rome:' what that means, I +don't know--some joke, I suppose, for the youngsters are always joking. +Were you ever up the Baltic, Mr Simple? Now I think of it, I know you +never were. I've seen some tight work up there with the gun-boats; and +so we should now with Captain O'Brien; but as for this little man, I've +an idea 'twill be more talk than work." + +"You appear to have taken a great dislike to the captain, Swinburne. I +do not know whether, as first lieutenant, I ought to listen to you." + +"It's because you're first lieutenant that I tell it you, Mr Simple. I +never was mistaken, in the main, of an officer's character, when I could +look him in the face, and hear him talk for half an hour; and I came up +on purpose to put you on your guard: for I feel convinced, that towards +you he means mischief. What does he mean by having the greasy-faced +serjeant of marines in his cabin for half an hour every morning? His +reports as master of arms ought to come through you, as first +lieutenant; but he means him as a spy upon all, and upon you in +particular. The fellow has begun to give himself airs already, and +speaks to the young gentlemen as if they were beneath him. I thought you +might not know it, Mr Simple, so I thought it right to tell you." + +"I am much obliged to you, Swinburne, for your good wishes; but I can do +my duty, and why should I fear anything?" + +"A man may do his duty, Mr Simple; but if a captain is determined to +ruin him, he has the power. I have been longer in the service than you +have, and have been wide awake: only be careful of one thing, Mr Simple; +I beg your pardon for being so free, but in no case lose your temper." + +"No fear of that, Swinburne," replied I. + +"It's very easy to say 'no fear of that,' Mr Simple; but recollect, you +have not yet had your temper tried as some officers have. You have +always been treated like a gentleman; but should you find yourself +treated otherwise, you have too good blood in your veins not to speak--I +am sure of that. I've seen officers insulted and irritated, till no +angel could put up with the treatment--and then for an unguarded word, +which they would have been _swabs_ not to have made use of, sent out of +the service to the devil." + +"But you forget, Swinburne, that the articles of war are made for the +captain as well as for everybody else in the ship." + +"I know that; but still, at court-martials captains make a great +distinction between what a superior says to an inferior, and what an +inferior says to a superior." + +"True," replied I, quoting Shakespeare: + + "'That's in the captain but a choleric word, Which in the soldier is + rank blasphemy.'" + +"Exactly my meaning--I rather think," said Swinburne, "if a captain +calls you no gentleman, you mus'n't say the same to him." + +"Certainly not, but I can demand a court-martial." + +"Yes; and it will be granted: but what do you gain by that? It's like +beating against a heavy gale and a lee tide--thousand to one if you +fetch your port; and if you do, your vessel is strained to pieces, sails +worn as thin as a newspaper, and rigging chafed half through, wanting +fresh serving: no orders for a re-fit, and laid up in ordinary for the +rest of your life. No, no, Mr Simple, the best plan is to grin and bear +it, and keep a sharp look-out; for depend upon it, Mr Simple, in the +best ship's company in the world, a spy captain will always find spy +followers." + +"Do you refer that observation to me, Mr Swinburne?" said a voice from +under the bulwark. I started round, and found the captain, who had crept +upon deck, unperceived by us, during our conversation. Swinburne made no +reply; but touched his hat and walked over to leeward. "I presume, Mr +Simple," said the captain, turning to me, "that you consider yourself +justified in finding fault, and abusing your captain, to an inferior +officer, on His Majesty's quarter-deck." + +"If you heard the previous conversation, sir," replied I, "you must be +aware that we were speaking generally about court-martials. I do not +imagine that I have been guilty of any impropriety in conversing with an +officer upon points connected with the service." + +"You mean then to assert, sir, that the gunner did not refer to me when +he said the words, 'spy captain.'" + +"I acknowledge, sir, that as you were listening unperceived, the term +might appear to refer to you; but the gunner had no idea, at the time, +that you were listening. His observation was, that a spy captain would +always find spy followers. This I take to be a general observation; and +I am sorry that you think otherwise." + +"Very well, Mr Simple," said Captain Hawkins--and he walked down the +companion ladder into his cabin. + +"Now a'n't it odd, Mr Simple, that I should come up with the intention +of being of service to you, and yet get you into such a scrape? However, +perhaps it is all for the best; open war is preferable to watching in +the dark, and stabbing in the back. He never meant to have shown his +colours; but I hit him so hard, that he forgot himself." + +"I suspect that to be the case, Swinburne; but I think that you had +better not talk any more with me to-night." + +"Wish I hadn't talked quite so much, as things have turned out," replied +Swinburne. "Good-night, sir." + +I reflected upon what had passed, and felt convinced that Swinburne was +right in saying that it was better this had occurred than otherwise. I +now knew the ground which I stood upon; and forewarned was being +forearmed. + + + + +Chapter LV + +We encounter a Dutch brig of war--Captain Hawkins very contemplative +near the capstan--Hard knocks, and no thanks for it--Who's afraid?--Men +will talk--The brig goes about on the wrong tack. + + +At daylight the next morning we were off the Texel, and could see the +low sand-hills; but we had scarcely made them out, when the fog in the +offing cleared up, and we made a strange vessel. The hands were turned +up, and all sail made in chase. We made her out to be a brig of war; and +as she altered her course considerably, we had an idea that she was an +enemy. We made the private signal, which was unanswered, and we cleared +for action; the brig making all sail on the starboard tack, and we +following her--she bearing about two miles on our weather bow. The +breeze was not steady; at one time the brig was staggering under her +top-gallant sails, while we had our royals set; at another we would have +hands by the top-gallant sheets and topsail halyards, while she expanded +every stitch of canvas. On the whole, however, in an hour we had neared +about half a mile. Our men were all at their quarters, happy to be so +soon at their old work. Their jackets and hats were thrown off, a +bandana handkerchief tied round their heads, and another, or else their +black silk handkerchiefs, tied round their waists. Every gun was ready, +everything was in its place, and every soul, I was going to say, was +anxious for the set-to; but I rather think I must not include the +captain, who from the commencement, showed no signs of pleasure, and +anything but presence of mind. When we first chased the vessel, it was +reported that it was a merchantman; and it was not until we had broad +daylight, that we discovered her to be a man-of-war. There was one thing +to be said in his favour--he had never been in action in his life. + +The breeze now fell light, and we were both with our sails set, when a +thick fog obscured her from our sight. The fog rolled on till we met it, +and then we could not see ten yards from the brig. This was a source of +great mortification, as we had every chance of losing her. Fortunately, +the wind was settling down fast into a calm, and about twelve o'clock +the sails flapped against the mast. I reported twelve o'clock, and asked +the captain whether we should pipe to dinner. + +"Not yet," replied he; "we will put her head about." + +"Go about, sir?" replied I, with surprise. + +"Yes;" said he, "I'm convinced that the chase is on the other tack at +this moment; and if we do not, we shall lose her." + +"If she goes about, sir," said I, "she must get among the sands, and we +shall be sure of her." + +"Sir," replied he, "when I ask your advice, you will be pleased to give +it. I command this vessel." + +I touched my hat, and turned the hands up about ship, convinced that the +captain wished to avoid the action, as the only chance of escape for the +brig was her keeping her wind in the tack she was on. "'Bout ship--'bout +ship!" cried the men. "What the hell are we going about for?" inquired +they of one another, as they came up the ladder. "Silence there, fore +and aft!" cried I. "Captain Hawkins, I do not think we can get her +round, unless we wear--the wind is very light." + +"Then wear ship, Mr Simple." + +There are times when grumbling and discontent among the seamen is so +participated by the officers, although they do not show it, that the +expressions made use of are passed unheeded. Such was the case at +present. The officers looked at each other, and said nothing; but the +men were unguarded in their expressions. The brig wore gradually round; +and when the men were bracing up the yards, sharp on the other tack, +instead of the "Hurrah!" and "Down with the mark!" they fell back with a +groan. + +"Brace up those yards in silence, there," said I to the men. + +The ropes were coiled down, and we piped to dinner. The captain, who +continued on deck, could not fail to hear the discontented expressions +which occasionally were made use of on the lower deck. He made no +observation, but occasionally looked over the side, to see whether the +brig went through the water. This she did slowly for about ten minutes, +when it fell a perfect calm--so that, to use a common sea phrase, he +gained little by his motion. About half-past one, a slight breeze from +the opposite quarter sprung up--we turned round to it--it increased--the +fog blew away, and, in a quarter of an hour, the chase was again +visible, now upon our lee beam. The men gave three cheers. + +"Silence there, fore and aft," cried the captain, angrily. "Mr Simple, +is this the way that the ship's company have been disciplined under +their late commander, to halloo and bawl whenever they think proper?" + +I was irritated at any reflection upon O'Brien, and I replied, "Yes, +sir; they have been always accustomed to express their joy at the +prospect of engaging the enemy." + +"Very well, Mr Simple," replied he. + +"How are we to shift her head?" inquired the master, touching his hat: +"for the chase?" + +"Of course," replied the captain, who then descended into his cabin. + +"Come, my lads," said Swinburne, as soon as the captain was below, "I +have been going round, and I find that your _pets_ are all in good +fighting order. I promise ye, you sha'n't wait for powder. They'll find +that the _Rattlesnake_ can bite devilish hard yet, I expect."--"Aye, and +without its _head_, too," replied one of the men, who was the Joe Miller +of the brig. The chase, perceiving that she could not escape--for we +were coming up with her, hand over hand, now shortened sail for action, +hoisting Dutch colours. Captain Hawkins again made his appearance on the +quarter-deck, when we were within half a mile of her. + +"Are we to run alongside of her or how?" inquired I. + +"Mr Simple, I command her," replied he, "and want no interference +whatever." + +"Very well, sir," replied I, and I walked to the gangway. + +"Mr Thompson," cried the captain, who appeared to have screwed up his +courage to the right pitch, and had now taken his position for a moment +on one of the carronades; "you will lay the brig right--" + +Bang, bang--whiz, whiz--bang--whiz, came three shots from the enemy, +cleaving the air between our masts. The captain jumped down from the +carronade, and hastened to the capstern, without finishing his sentence. +"Shall we fire when we are ready, sir?" said I; for I perceived that he +was not capable of giving correct orders. + +"Yes--yes, to be sure," replied he, remaining where he was. + +"Thompson," said I to the master, "I think we can manage, in our present +commanding position, to get foul of him, so as to knock away his +jib-boom and fore topmast, and then she can't escape. We have good way +on her." + +"I'll manage it, Simple, or my name's not Thompson," replied the master, +jumping into the quarter-boat, conning the vessel in that exposed +situation, as we received the enemy's fire. + +"Look out, my lads, and pour it into her now, just as you please," said +I to the men. + +The seamen were, however, too well disciplined to take immediate +advantage of my permission; they waited until we passed her, and just as +the master put up his helm, so as to catch her jib-boom between our +masts, the whole broadside was poured into his bow and chess-tree. Her +jib-boom and fore-topgallant went down, and she had so much way through +the water, that we tore clear from her, and rounding to the wind shot +a-head. The enemy, although in confusion from the effects of our +broadside, put up his helm to rake us; we perceived his manoeuvre, and +did the same, and then, squaring our sails, we ran with him before the +wind, engaging broadside to broadside. This continued about half an +hour, and we soon found that we had no fool to play with. The brig was +well fought, and her guns well directed. We had several men taken down +below, and I thought it would be better to engage her even closer. There +was about a cable's length between both vessels, as we ran before the +wind, at about six miles an hour, with a slight rolling motion. + +"Thompson," said I, "let us see if we cannot beat them from their guns. +Let's port the helm and close her, till we can shy a biscuit on board." + +"Just my opinion, Simple; we'll see if they won't make another sort of +running fight of it." + +In a few minutes we were so close on board of her, that the men who +loaded the guns could touch each other with their rammers and sponges. +The men cheered; it was gallantly returned by the enemy, and havoc was +now commenced by the musketry on both sides. The French captain, who +appeared as brave a fellow as ever stepped, stood for some minutes on +the hammocks; I was also holding on by the swifter of the main rigging, +when he took off his hat and politely saluted me. I returned the +compliment; but the fire became too hot, and I wished to get under the +shelter of the bulwark. Still I would not go down first, and the French +captain appeared determined not to be the first either to quit the post +of honour. At last one of our marines hit him in the right arm: he +clapped his hand to the part, as if to point it out to me, nodded, and +was assisted down from the hammocks. I immediately quitted my post, for +I thought it foolish to stand as a mark for forty or fifty soldiers. I +had already received a bullet through the small of my leg. But the +effects of such close fire now became apparent: our guns were only half +manned, our sides terribly cut up, and our sails and rigging in tatters. +The enemy was even worse off, and two broadsides more brought her +mainmast by the board. Our men cheered, and threw in another broadside. +The enemy dropped astern; we rounded to rake her; she also attempted to +round to, but could not until she had cleared away her wreck, and taken +in her foresail, and lowered her topsail. She then continued the action +with as much spirit as ever. + +"He's a fine fellow, by God!" exclaimed Thompson; "I never saw a man +fight his ship better: but we have him. Webster's down, poor fellow!" + +"I'm sorry for it," replied I; "but I'm afraid that there are many poor +fellows who have lost the number of their mess. I think it useless +throwing away the advantage which we now have. He can't escape, and +he'll fight this way for ever. We had better run a-head, repair damages, +and then he must surrender, in his crippled state, when we attack him +again." + +"I agree with you," said Thompson; "the only point is, that it will soon +be dark." + +"I'll not lose sight of him, and he cannot get away. If he puts before +the wind, then we will be at him again." + +We gave him the loaded guns as we forged a-head, and when we were about +half a mile from him, hove-to to repair damages. + +The reader may now ask, "But where was the captain all this time?" My +answer is, that he was at the capstern, where he stood in silence, not +once interfering during the whole action, which was fought by Thompson, +the master, and myself. How he looked, or how he behaved in other points +during the engagement, I cannot pretend to say, for I had no time to +observe him. Even now I was busy knotting the rigging, rousing up new +sails to bend, and getting everything in order, and I should not have +observed him, had he not come up to me; for as soon as we had ceased +firing he appeared to recover himself. He did not, however, first +address me; he commenced speaking to the men. + +"Come, be smart, my lads; send a hand here to swab up the blood. Here, +youngster, run down to the surgeon, and let him know that I wish a +report of the killed and wounded." + +By degrees he talked more, and at last came up to me, "This has been +rather smartish, Mr Simple." + +"Very smart indeed, sir," replied I, and then turned away to give +directions. "Maintop there, send down the hauling line on the starboard +side." + +"Ay, ay, sir." + +"Now then, my lads, clap on, and run it up at once." + +"Maintop, there," hailed the captain, "be a little smarter, or by +G----d, I'll call you down for something." This did not come with a +good grace from one who had done nothing, to those who were working with +all their energy. "Mr Simple," said the captain, "I wish you would carry +on duty with less noise." + +"At all events, he set us that example during the action," muttered the +Joe Miller; and the other men laughed heartily at the implication. In +two hours, during which we had carefully watched the enemy, who still +lay where we left him, we were again ready for action. + +"Shall I give the men their grog now, sir?" said I to the captain; "they +must want it." + +"No, no," replied the captain; "no, no, Mr Simple, I don't like what you +call _Dutch_ courage." + +"I don't think he much does; and this fellow has shown plenty of it," +said the Joe Miller, softly; and the men about him laughed heartily. + +"I think, sir," observed I, "that it is an injustice to this fine ship's +company to hint at their requiring Dutch courage." (Dutch courage is a +term for courage screwed up by drinking freely.) "And I most +respectfully beg leave to observe, that the men have not had their +afternoon's allowance; and, after the fatigues they have undergone, +really require it." + +"I command this ship, sir," replied he. + +"Certainly, sir, I am aware of it," rejoined I. "She is now all ready +for action again, and I wait your orders. The enemy is two miles on the +lee quarter." + +The surgeon here came up with his report. + +"Good heavens!" said the captain, "forty-seven men killed and wounded, +Mr Webster dangerously. Why, the brig is crippled. We can do no more-- +positively, we can do no more." + +"_We can take that brig, anyhow_," cried one of the seamen from a dozen +of the men who were to leeward, expecting orders to renew the attack. + +"What man was that?" cried the captain. + +No one answered. + +"By G----d! this ship is in a state of mutiny, Mr Simple." + +"Will _soon_ be, I think," said a voice from the crowd, which I knew +very well; but the captain, having been but a short time with us, did +not know it. + +"Do you hear that, Mr Simple?" cried the captain. + +"I regret to say that I did hear it, sir; I little thought that ever +such an expression would have been made use of on board of the +_Rattlesnake_." Then, fearing he would ask me the man's name, and to +pretend not to have recognised it, I said, "Who was that who made use of +that expression?" But no one answered; and it was so dark, that it was +impossible to distinguish the men. + +"After such mutinous expressions," observed the captain, "I certainly +will not risk His Majesty's brig under my command, as I should have +wished to have done, even in her crippled state, by again engaging the +enemy. I can only regret that the officers appear as insolent as the +men." + +"Perhaps, Captain Hawkins, you will state in what, and when, I have +proved myself insolent. I cannot accuse myself." + +"I hope the expression was not applied to me, sir," said Thompson, the +master, touching his hat. + +"Silence, gentlemen, if you please. Mr Simple, wear round the ship." + +Whether the captain intended to attack the enemy or not, we could not +tell, but we were soon undeceived; for when we were round, he ordered +her to be kept away until the Dutch brig was on our lee quarter: then +ordering the master to shape his course for Yarmouth, he went down into +the cabin, and sent up word that I might pipe to supper and serve out +the spirits. + +The rage and indignation of the men could not be withheld. After they +went down to supper they gave three heavy groans in concert; indeed, +during the whole of that night, the officers who kept the watches had +great difficulty in keeping the men from venting their feeling, in what +might be almost termed justifiable mutiny. As for myself, I could hardly +control my vexation. The brig was our certain prize; and this was +proved, for the next day she hauled down her colours immediately to a +much smaller man-of-war, which fell in with her, still lying in the same +crippled state; the captain and first lieutenant killed, and nearly +two-thirds of her ship's company either killed or wounded. Had we +attacked her, she would have hauled down her colours immediately, for it +was our last broadside which had killed the captain. As first +lieutenant, I should have received my promotion, which was now lost. I +cried for vexation when I thought of it as I lay in bed. That his +conduct was severely commented upon by the officers in the gun-room, as +well as by the whole ship's company, I hardly need say. Thompson was for +bringing him to a court-martial, which I would most gladly have done, if +it only were to get rid of him; but I had a long conversation with old +Swinburne on the subject, and he proved to me that I had better not +attempt it. "For, d'ye see, Mr Simple, you have no proof. He did not run +down below; he stood his ground on deck, although he did nothing. You +can't _prove_ cowardice, then, although there can be no great doubt of +it. Again, with regard to his not renewing the attack, why, is not a +captain at liberty to decide what is the best for His Majesty's service? +And if he thought, in the crippled state of the brig, so close to the +enemy's coast, that it wasn't advisable, why, it could only be brought +in as an error in judgment. Then there's another thing which must be +remembered, Mr Simple, which is, that no captains sitting on a +court-martial will, if it be possible to extricate him, ever prove +_cowardice_ against a brother captain, because they feel that it's a +disgrace to the whole cloth." + +Swinburne's advice was good, and I gave up all thoughts of proceeding; +still it appeared to me, that the captain was very much afraid that I +would, he was so extremely amiable and polite during our run home. He +said, that he had watched how well I had behaved in the action, and +would not fail to notice it. This was something, but he did not keep his +word: for his despatch was published before we quitted the roadstead, +and not the name of one officer mentioned, only generally saying, that +they conducted themselves to his satisfaction. He called the enemy a +corvette, not specifying whether she was a brig or ship corvette; and +the whole was written in such a bombastic style, that any one would have +imagined that he had fought a vessel of superior force. He stated, at +the end, that as soon as he repaired damages, he wore round, but that +the enemy declined further action. So she did--certainly--for the best +of all possible reasons, that she was too disabled to come down to us. +All this might have been contested; but the enormous list of killed and +wounded proved that we had had a hard fight, and the capture of the brig +afterwards, that we had really overpowered her. So that, on the whole, +Captain Hawkins gained a great deal of credit with some; although +whispers were afloat which came to the ears of the Admiralty, and +prevented him from being posted--the more so, as he had the modesty not +to apply for it. + + + + +Chapter LVI + +Consequences of the action--A ship without a fighting captain is like a +thing without a head--So do the sailors think--A mutiny, and the loss +of our famous ship's company. + + +During our stay at Yarmouth, we were not allowed to put our foot on +shore, upon the plea that we must repair damages, and proceed +immediately to our station; but the real fact was, that Captain Hawkins +was very anxious that we should not be able to talk about the action. +Finding no charges preferred against him, he re-commenced his system of +annoyance. His apartments had windows which looked out upon where the +brig lay at anchor, and he constantly watched all our motions with his +spy-glass, noting down if I did not hoist up boats, &c., exactly at the +hour prescribed in his book of orders, so as to gather a list of charges +against me if he could. This we did not find out until afterwards. + +I mentioned before, that when Swinburne joined us at Plymouth, he had +recommended a figure-head being put on the brig. This had been done at +O'Brien's expense--not in the cheap way recommended by Swinburne, but in +a very handsome manner. It was a large snake coiled up in folds, with +its head darting out in a menacing attitude, and the tail, with its +rattle appeared below. The whole was gilded, and had a very good effect; +but after the dock-yard men had completed the repairs, and the brig was +painted, one night the head of the rattlesnake disappeared. It had been +sawed off by some malicious and evil disposed persons, and no traces of +it were to be found. I was obliged to report this to the captain, who +was very indignant, and offered twenty pounds for the discovery of the +offender; but had he offered twenty thousand he never would have found +out the delinquent. It was, however, never forgotten; for he understood +what was implied by these manoeuvres. A new head was carved, but +disappeared the night after it was fixed on. + +The rage of the captain was without bounds: he turned the hands up, and +declared that if the offender was not given up, he would flog every hand +on board. He gave the ship's company ten minutes, and then prepared to +execute his threat. "Mr Paul, turn the hands up for punishment," said +the captain, in a rage, and descended to his cabin for the articles of +war. When he was down below, the officers talked over the matter. To +flog every man for the crime of one was the height of injustice, but it +was not for us to oppose him; still the ship's company must have seen, +in our countenances, that we shared their feelings. The men were talking +with each other in groups, until they all appeared to have communicated +their ideas on the subject. The carpenters, who had been slowly bringing +aft the gratings, left off the job; the boatswain's mates, who had came +aft, rolled the tails of their cats round the red handles; and every man +walked down below. No one was left on the quarter-deck but the marines +under arms, and the officers. Perceiving this, I desired Mr Paul, the +boatswain, to send the men up to rig the gratings, and the +quarter-masters with their seizings. He came up, and said that he had +called them, but that they did not answer. Perceiving that the ship's +company would break out into open mutiny, if the captain persisted in +his intention, I went down into the cabin, and told the captain the +state of things, and wished for his orders or presence on deck. + +The captain, whose wrath appeared incapable of reflection, immediately +proceeded on deck, and ordered the marines to load with ball-cartridge. +This was done; but, as I was afterwards told by Thompson, who was +standing aft, the marines loaded with powder, and put the balls into +their pockets. They wished to keep up the character of their corps for +fidelity, and at the same time not fire upon men whom they loved as +brothers, and with whom they coincided in opinion. Indeed, we afterwards +discovered that it was a _marine_ who had taken off the _head_ of the +snake a second time. + +The captain then ordered the boatswain to turn the hands up. The +boatswain made his appearance with his right arm in a sling.--"What's +the matter with your arm, Mr Paul?" said I, as he passed me. + +"Tumbled down the hatchway just now--can't move my arm; I must go to the +surgeon as soon as this is over." + +The hands were piped up again, but no one obeyed the order. Thus was the +brig in a state of mutiny. "Mr Simple, go forward to the main hatchway +with the marines, and fire on the lower deck," cried the captain. + +"Sir," said I, "there are two frigates within a cable's length of us; +and would it not be better to send for assistance, without shedding +blood? Besides, sir, you have not yet tried the effect of calling up the +carpenter's and boatswain's mates by name. Will you allow me to go down +first, and bring them to a sense of their duty?" + +"Yes, I presume you know your power; but of this hereafter." + +I went down below and called the men by name. + +"Sir," said one of the boatswain's mates, "the ship's company say that +they will not submit to be flogged." + +"I do not speak to the ship's company generally, Collins," replied I; +"but you are now ordered to rig the gratings, and come on deck. It is an +order that you cannot refuse. Go up directly, and obey it. +Quarter-masters, go on deck with your seizings. When all is ready, you +can then expostulate." The men obeyed my orders; they crawled on deck, +rigged the gratings, and stood by. "All is ready, sir," said I, touching +my hat to the captain. + +"Send the ship's company aft, Mr Paul." + +"Aft, then, all of you, for punishment," cried the boatswain. + +"Yes, it is _all of us for punishment_," cried one voice. "We're all to +flog one another, and then pay off the _jollies_."[1] + +This time the men obeyed the order; they all appeared on the +quarter-deck. "The men are all aft, sir," reported the boatswain. + +"And now, my lads," said the captain, "I'll teach you what mutiny is. +You see the two frigates alongside of us. You had forgotten them, I +suppose, but I hadn't. Here, you scoundrel, Mr Jones"--(this was the Joe +Miller)--"strip, sir. If ever there was mischief in a ship, you are at +the head." + +"Head, sir," said the man, assuming a vacant look; "what head, sir? Do +you mean the snake's head? I don't know anything about it, sir."-- +"Strip, sir!" cried the captain in a rage; "I'll soon bring you to your +senses." + +"If you please, your honour, what have I done to be tied up?" said the +man. + +"Strip, you scoundrel!"--"Well, sir, if you please, it's hard to be +flogged for nothing." The man pulled off his clothes, and walked up to +the grating. The quarter-masters seized him up. + +"Seized up, sir," reported the scoundrel of a sergeant of marines who +acted as the captain's spy. + +The captain looked for the articles of war to read, as is necessary +previous to punishing a man, and was a little puzzled to find one, where +no positive offence had been committed. At last, he pitched upon the one +which refers to combination and conspiracy, and creating discontent. We +all took off our hats as he read it, and he then called Mr Paul, the +boatswain, and ordered him to give the man a dozen. "Please, sir," said +the boatswain, pointing to his arm in a sling, "I can't flog--I can't +lift up my arm."--"Your arm was well enough when I came on board, sir," +cried the captain. + +"Yes, sir; but in hurrying the men up, I slipped down the ladder, and +I'm afraid I've put my shoulder out." + +The captain bit his lips; he fully believed it was a sham on the part of +the boatswain (which indeed it was) to get off flogging the men. "Well, +then, where is the chief boatswain's mate, Miller?" + +"Here, sir," said Miller, coming forward: a stout, muscular man, nearly +six feet high, with a pig-tail nearly four feet long, and his open +breast covered with black, shaggy hair. + +"Give that man a dozen, sir," said the captain. + +The man looked at the captain, then at the ship's company, and then at +the man seized up, but did not commence the punishment. + +"Do you hear me, sir?" roared the captain. + +"If you please, your honour, I'd rather take my disrating--I--don't wish +to be chief boatswain's mate in this here business." + +"Obey your orders, immediately, sir," cried the captain; "or, by God, +I'll try you for mutiny." + +"Well, sir, I beg your pardon; but what must be, must be. I mean no +disrespect, Captain Hawkins, but I cannot flog that man--my conscience +won't let me." + +"Your _conscience_, sir!" + +"Beg your pardon, Captain Hawkins, I've always done my duty, foul +weather or fair; and I've been eighteen years in His Majesty's service, +without ever being brought to punishment; but if I am to be hung now, +saving your pleasure, and with all respect, I can't help it." + +"I give you but one moment more, sir," cried the captain; "do your +duty." The man looked at the captain, and then eyed the yard-arm. +"Captain Hawkins, I will _do my duty_, although I must swing for it." So +saying he threw his cat down on the quarter-deck, and fell back among +the ship's company. + +The captain was now confounded, and hardly knew how to act: to persevere +appeared useless--to fall back was almost as impossible. A dead silence +of a minute ensued. Every one was breathless with impatience, to know +what would be done next. The silence was, however, first broken by +Jones, the Joe Miller, who was seized up. "Beg your honour's pardon, +sir," said he, turning his head round; "but if I am to be flogged, will +you be pleased to let me have it over? I shall catch my death a-cold, +naked here all day." This was decided mockery, on the part of the man, +and roused the captain. + +"Sergeant of marines, put Miller and that man Collins, both legs in +irons, for mutiny. My men, I perceive that there is a conspiracy in the +ship, but I shall very soon put an end to it: I know the men, and, by +God, they shall repent it. Mr Paul, pipe down. Mr Simple, man my gig; +and recollect, it's my positive orders that no boat goes on shore." The +captain left the brig, looking daggers at me as he went over the side; +but I had done my duty, and cared little for that; indeed, I was now +watching his conduct as carefully as he did mine. + +"The captain wishes to tell his own story first," said Thompson, coming +up to me. "Now, if I were you, Simple, I would take care that the real +facts should be known." + +"How's that to be done," replied I; "he has ordered no communication +with the shore." + +"Simply by sending an officer on board of each of the frigates to state +that the brig is in a state of mutiny, and request that they will keep a +look-out upon her. This is no more than your duty as commanding officer; +you only send the message, leave me to state the facts of my own accord. +Recollect that the captains of these frigates will be summoned, if there +is a court of inquiry, which I expect will take place." + +I considered a little, and thought the advice good. I despatched +Thompson first to one frigate, and then to the other. The next day the +captain came on board. As soon as he stepped on the quarter-deck he +inquired how I dare disobey his orders in sending the boats away. My +reply was that his orders were, not to communicate with the shore, but +that, as commanding officer, I considered it my duty to make known to +the other ships that the men were in a state of insubordination, that +they might keep their eyes upon us. He _kept his eyes_ upon me for some +time, and then turned away without reply. As we expected, a court of +inquiry was called, upon his representations to the admiral. About +twenty of the men were examined, but so much came out as to the _reason +why_ the head of the snake had been removed--for the sailors spoke +boldly--that the admiral and officers who were appointed strongly +recommended Captain Hawkins not to proceed further than to state that +there were some disaffected characters in the ship, and move the admiral +to have them exchanged into others. This was done, and the captains of +the frigates, who immediately gave their advice, divided all our best +men between them. They spoke very freely to me, and asked me who were +the best men, which I told them honestly, for I was glad to be able to +get them out of the power of Captain Hawkins; these they marked as +disaffected, and exchanged them for all the worst they had on board. The +few that were left ran away, and thus, from having one of the finest and +best organised ship's companies in the service, we were now one of the +very worst. Miller was sent on board of the frigate, and under +surveillance: he soon proved that his character was as good as I stated +it to be, and two years afterwards was promoted to the rank of +boatswain. Webster, the second lieutenant, would not rejoin us, and +another was appointed. I must here remark, that there is hardly any +degree of severity which a captain may not exert towards his seamen, +provided they are confident of, or he has proved to them, his courage; +but if there be a doubt, or a confirmation to the contrary, all +discipline is destroyed by contempt, and the ship's company mutiny, +either directly or indirectly. There is an old saying, that all tyrants +are cowards; that tyranny is in itself a species of meanness, I +acknowledge: but still the saying ought to be modified. If it is +asserted that all mean tyrants are cowards, I agree; but I have known in +the service most special tyrants, who were not cowards: their tyranny +was excessive, but there was no meanness in their dispositions. On the +contrary, they were generous, open-hearted, and, occasionally, when not +influenced by anger, proved that their hearts, if not quite right, were +not very much out of their places. Yet they were tyrants; but, although +tyrants, the men forgave them, and one kind act, when they were not led +away by the impetuosity of their feelings, obliterated a hundred acts of +tyranny. But such is not the case in our service with men who, in their +tyranny, are mean; the seamen show no quarter to them, and will undergo +all the risk which the severity of the articles of war renders them +liable to, rather than not express their opinion of a man whom they +despise. I do not like to mention names, but I could point out specimens +of brave tyrants, and of cowardly tyrants who have existed, and do even +now exist in our service. The present regulations have limited tyranny +to a certain degree, but it cannot check the _mean_ tyrant; for it is +not in points of consequence, likely to be brought before the notice of +his superiors, that he effects his purpose. He resorts to paltry +measures--he smiles that he may betray--he confines himself within the +limit that may protect him; and he is never exposed, unless by his +courage being called in question, which but rarely occurs; and when it +does occur it is most difficult, as well as most dangerous, to attempt +to prove it. It may be asked why I did not quit the ship, after having +been aware of the character of the captain, and the enmity which he bore +to me. In reply, I can only say that I did often think of it, talked +over the subject with my messmates, but they persuaded me to remain, +and, as I was a first lieutenant, and knew that any successful action +would, in all probability, insure my promotion, I determined, to use a +nautical expression, to rough it out, and not throw away the only chance +which I now had of obtaining my rank as commander. + +[Footnote 1: Marines.] + + + + +Chapter LVII + +News from home not very agreeable, although the reader may laugh--We +arrive at Portsmouth, where I fall in with my old acquaintance, Mrs +Trotter--We sail with a convoy for the Baltic. + + +I had written to my sister Ellen, giving her an account of all that had +passed, and mentioning the character of the captain, and his apparent +intimacy with my uncle. I received an answer from her, telling me that +she had discovered, from a very communicative old maiden lady, that +Captain Hawkins was an illegitimate son of my uncle, by a lady with whom +he had been acquainted about the time that he was in the army. I +immediately conceived the truth, that my uncle had pointed me out to him +as an object of his vengeance, and that Captain Hawkins was too dutiful +and too dependent a son not to obey him. The state of my father was more +distressing than ever, but there was something very ludicrous in his +fancies. He had fancied himself a jackass, and had brayed for a week, +kicking the old nurse in the stomach, so as to double her up like a +hedgehog. He had taken it into his head that he was a pump; and, with +one arm held out as a spout, he had obliged the poor old nurse to work +the other up and down for hours together. At another time, he had an +idea that he was a woman in labour, and they were obliged to give him a +strong dose of calomel, and borrow a child of six years old from a +neighbour, to make him believe that he was delivered. He was perfectly +satisfied, although the child was born to him in cloth trousers, and a +jacket with three rows of sugar-loaf buttons. Aye, said he, it was those +buttons which hurt my side so much. In fact, there was a string of +strange conceptions of this kind that had accumulated, so as to drive my +poor sister almost mad; and sometimes his ideas would be attended with a +very heavy expense, as he would send for architects, make contracts, +&c., for building, supposing himself to have come to the title and +property of his brother. This, being the basis of his disease, occurred +frequently. I wrote to poor Ellen, giving her my best advice, and by +this time the brig was again ready for sea, and we expected to sail +immediately. I did not forget to write to O'Brien, but the distance +between us was so great that I knew I could not obtain his answer +probably for a year, and I felt a melancholy foreboding how much I +required his advice. + +Our orders were to proceed to Portsmouth, and join a convoy collected +there, bound up the Baltic, under the charge of the _Acasta_ frigate, +and two other vessels. We did not sail with any pleasure, or hopes of +gaining much in the way of prize-money. Our captain was enough to make +any ship a hell; and our ship's company were composed of a mutinous and +incorrigible set of scoundrels, with, of course, a few exceptions. How +different did the officers find the brig after losing such a captain as +O'Brien, and so fine a ship's company! But there was no help for it, and +all we had to do was to make the best of it, and hope for better times. +The cat was at work nearly every day, and I must acknowledge that, +generally speaking, it was deserved; although sometimes a report from +the sergeant of marines of any good man favoured by me, was certain to +be attended to. This system of receiving reports direct from an inferior +officer, instead of through me, as first lieutenant, became so annoying, +that I resolved, at all risk, to expostulate. I soon had an opportunity, +for one morning the captain said to me, "Mr Simple, I understand that +you had a fire in the galley last night after hours." + +"It is very true, sir, that I did order a stove to be lighted; but may I +inquire whether the first lieutenant has not a discretionary power in +that point? and further, how it is that I am reported to you by other +people? The discipline of this ship is carried on by me, under your +directions, and all reports ought to come through me; and I cannot +understand upon what grounds you permit them through any other channel." + +"I command my own ship, sir, and shall do as I please in that respect. +When I have officers I can confide in, I shall, in all probability, +allow them to report to me." + +"If there is anything in my conduct which has proved to you that I am +incapable, or not trustworthy, I would feel obliged to you, sir, if you +would, in the first place, point it out;--and, in the next, bring me to +a court-martial if I do not correct it." + +"I am no court-martial man, sir," replied he, "but I am not to be +dictated to by an inferior officer, so you'll oblige me by holding your +tongue. The sergeant of marines, as master-at-arms, is bound to report +to me any deviation from the regulations I have laid down for the +discipline of the ship." + +"Granted, sir; but that report, according to the custom of the service, +should come through the first lieutenant." + +"I prefer it coming direct, sir;--it stands less chance of being +garbled." + +"Thank you, Captain Hawkins, for the compliment." The captain walked +away without further reply, and shortly after went down below. Swinburne +ranged up alongside of me as soon as the captain disappeared. + +"Well, Mr Simple, so I hear we are bound to the Baltic. Why couldn't +they have ordered us to pick up the convoy off Yarmouth, instead of +coming all the way to Portsmouth? We shall be in to-morrow with this +slant of wind." + +"I suppose the convoy are not yet collected, Swinburne; and you +recollect there's no want of French privateers in the channel." + +"Very true, sir." + +"When were you up the Baltic, Swinburne?" + +"I was in the old _St George_, a regular old ninety-eight; she sailed +just like a hay-stack, one mile ahead and three to leeward. Lord bless +you, Mr Simple, the Cattegat wasn't wide enough for her; but she was a +comfortable sort of vessel after all, excepting on a lee-shore, so we +used always to give the land a wide berth, I recollect. By the bye, Mr +Simple, do you recollect how angry you were because I didn't peach at +Barbadoes, when the men _sucked the monkey?_" + +"To be sure I do." + +"Well, then, I didn't think it fair then, as I was one of them. But now +that I'm a bit of an officer, I just tell you that when we get to +Carlscrona there's a method of _sucking the monkey_ there, which, as +first lieutenant, with such a queer sort of captain, it is just as well +that you should be up to. In the old _St George_ we had seventy men +drunk one afternoon, and the first lieutenant couldn't find it out +nohow." + +"Indeed, Swinburne, you must let me into that secret." + +"So I will, Mr Simple. Don't you know there's a famous stuff for cuts +and wounds, called balsam?" + +"What, Riga balsam?" + +"Yes, that's it; well, all the boats will bring that for sale, as they +did to us in the old _St George_. Devilish good stuff it is for wounds, +I believe; but it's not bad to drink, and it's very strong. We used to +take it _inwardly_, Mr Simple, and the first lieutenant never guessed +it." + +"What! you all got tipsy upon Riga balsam?" + +"All that could; so I just give you a hint." + +"I'm much obliged to you, Swinburne; I certainly never should have +suspected it. I believe seamen would get drunk upon anything." + +The next morning we anchored at Spithead, and found the convoy ready for +sea. The captain went on shore to report himself to the admiral, and, as +usual, the brig was surrounded with bumboats and wherries, with people +who wished to come on board. As we were not known on the Portsmouth +station, and had no acquaintance with the people, all the bumboats were +very anxious to supply the ship: and, as this is at the option of the +first lieutenant, he is very much persecuted until he has made his +decision. Certificates of good conduct from other officers were handed +up the side from all of them; and I looked over the books at the +capstern. In the second book the name struck me; it was that of Mrs +Trotter, and I walked to the gangway out of curiosity, to ascertain +whether it was the same personage who, when I was a youngster, had taken +such care of my shirts. As I looked at the boats, a voice cried out, "O, +Mr Simple, have you forgot your old friend? don't you recollect Mrs +Trotter?" I certainly did not recollect her; she had grown very fat, +and, although more advanced in years, was a better-looking woman than +when I had first seen her, for she looked healthy and fresh. + +"Indeed, I hardly did recollect you, Mrs Trotter." + +"I've so much to tell you, Mr Simple," replied she, ordering the boat to +pull alongside; and, as she was coming up, desired the man to get the +things in, as if permission was quite unnecessary. I did not +counter-order it, as I knew none of the others, and, as far as honesty +was concerned, believed them all to be much on a par. On the strength, +then, of old acquaintance, Mrs Trotter was admitted. + +"Well, I'm sure, Mr Simple," cried Mrs Trotter, out of breath with +climbing up the brig's side; "what a man you've grown,--and such a +handsome man, too! Dear, dear, it makes me feel quite old to look at +you, when I call to mind the little boy whom I had charge of in the +cockpit. Don't you think I look very old and ugly, Mr Simple?" continued +she, smiling and smirking. + +"Indeed, Mrs Trotter, I think you wear very well. Pray, how is your +husband?" + +"Ah, Mr Simple, poor dear Mr Trotter--he's gone. Poor fellow! no wonder; +what with his drinking, and his love for me--and his jealousy--(do you +recollect how jealous he was, Mr Simple?)--he wore himself out at last. +No wonder, considering what he had been accustomed to, after keeping his +carriage and dogs with everybody, to be reduced to see his wife go a +_bumming_. It broke his heart, poor fellow! and, Mr Simple, I've been +much happier ever since, for I could not bear to see him fretting. Lord, +how jealous he was--and all about nothing! Don't you want some fresh +meat for the gun-room? I've a nice leg of mutton in the boat, and some +milk for tea." + +"Recollect, Mrs Trotter, I shall not overlook your bringing spirits on +board." + +"Lord, Mr Simple, how could you think of such a thing? It's very true +that these common people do it, but the company I have kept, the society +I have been in, Mr Simple! Besides, you must recollect that I never +drank anything but water." + +I could not exactly coincide with her, but I did not contradict her. + +"Would you like the Portsmouth paper, Mr Simple?" taking one out of her +pocket; "I know gentlemen are fond of the news. Poor Trotter used never +to stir from the breakfast table until he had finished the daily paper-- +but that was when we lived in very different style. Have you any clothes +to wash, Mr Simple,--or have any of the gentlemen?" + +"I fear we have no time, we sail too soon," replied I; "we go with the +convoy." + +"Indeed!" cried Mrs Trotter, who walked to the main hatchway and called +to her man Bill. I heard her give him directions to sell nothing upon +trust, in consequence of the intelligence of our immediate sailing. + +"I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, I was only desiring my head man to send +for your steward, that he might be supplied with the best, and to save +some milk for the gun-room." + +"And I must beg your pardon, Mrs Trotter, for I must attend to my duty." +Mrs Trotter made her courtesy and walked down the main ladder to attend +to _her duty_, and we separated. I was informed that she had a great +deal of custom, as she understood how to manage the officers, and made +herself generally useful to them. She had been a bumboat woman for six +years, and had made a great deal of money. Indeed, it was reported, that +if a _first lieutenant_ wanted forty or fifty pounds, Mrs Trotter would +always lend it to him, without requiring his promissory note. + +The captain came on board in the evening, having dined with the admiral, +and left directions for having all ready for unmooring and heaving short +at daylight. The signal was made from the frigate at sunrise, and before +twelve o'clock we were all under weigh, and running past St Helen's with +a favourable wind. Our force consisted of the _Acasta_ frigate, the +_Isis_ ship, sloop, mounting twenty guns, the _Reindeer_, eighteen, and +our own brig. The convoy amounted to nearly two hundred. Although the +wind was fair, and the water smooth, we were more than a week before we +made Anholt light, owing _to_ the bad sailing and inattention of many of +the vessels belonging to the convoy. We were constantly employed +repeating signals, firing guns, and often sent back to tow up the +sternmost vessels. At last we passed the Anholt light, with a light +breeze; and the next morning the main land was to be distinguished on +both bows. + + + + +Chapter LVIII + +How we passed the Sound, and what passed in the Sound The Captain +overhears again a conversation between Swinburne and me. + + +I was on the signal-chest abaft, counting the convoy, when Swinburne +came up to me. "There's a little difference between this part of the +world and the West Indies, Mr Simple," observed he. "Black rocks and fir +woods don't remind us of the Blue Mountains of Jamaica, or the cocoa-nut +waving to the sea-breeze." + +"Indeed not, Swinburne," replied I. + +"We shall have plenty of calms here, without panting with the heat, +although we may find the gun-boats a little too warm for us; for, depend +upon it, the very moment the wind goes down, they will come out from +every nook and corner, and annoy us not a little." + +"Have you been here before, with a convoy, Swinburne?" + +"To be sure I have; and it's sharp work that I've seen here, Mr Simple-- +work that I've an idea our captain won't have much stomach for." + +"Swinburne, I beg you will keep your thoughts relative to the captain to +yourself; recollect the last time. It is my duty not to listen to them." + +"And I should rather think to report them also, Mr Simple," said Captain +Hawkins, who had crept up to us, and overheard our conversation. + +"In this instance there is no occasion for my reporting them, sir," +replied I, "for you have heard what has passed." + +"I have, sir," replied he; "and I shall not forget the conversation." + +I turned forward. Swinburne had made his retreat the moment that he +heard the voice of the captain. "How many sails are there in sight, +sir?" inquired the captain. + +"One hundred and sixty-three, sir," replied I. + +"Signal for convoy to close from the _Acasta_" reported the midshipman +of the watch. + +We repeated it, and the captain descended to his cabin. We were then +running about four miles an hour, the water very smooth, and Anholt +lighthouse hardly visible on deck, bearing N.N.W. about twenty miles. In +fact, we were near the entrance of the Sound, which, the reader may be +aware, is a narrow passage leading into the Baltic Sea. We ran on, +followed by the convoy, some of which were eight or ten miles astern of +us, and we were well into the Sound, when the wind gradually died away, +until it fell quite calm, and the heads of the vessels were laid round +the compass. + +My watch was nearly out, when the midshipman, who was looking round with +his glass on the Copenhagen side, reported three gun-boats, sweeping out +from behind a point. I examined them and went down to report them to the +captain. When I came on deck, more were reported, until we counted ten, +two of them large vessels, called praams. The captain now came on deck, +and I reported them. We made the signal of enemy in sight, to the +_Acasta_, which was answered. They divided--six of them pulling along +shore towards the convoy in the rear, and four coming out right for the +brig. The _Acasta_ now made the signal for "Boats manned and armed to be +held in readiness." We hoisted out our pinnace, and lowered down our +cutters--the other men-of-war doing the same. In about a quarter of an +hour the gun-boats opened their fire with their long thirty-two +pounders, and their first shot went right through the hull of the brig, +just abaft the fore-bits; fortunately, no one was hurt. I turned round +to look at the captain; he was as white as a sheet. He caught my eye, +and turned aft, when he was met by Swinburne's eye, steadily fixed upon +him. He then walked to the other side of the deck. Another shot ploughed +up the water close to us, rose, and came through the hammock-netting, +tearing out two of the hammocks, and throwing them on the quarter-deck, +when the _Acasta_ hoisted out pennants, and made the signal to send our +pinnace and cutter to the assistance of vessels astern. The signal was +also made to the _Isis_ and _Reindeer_. I reported the signal, and +inquired who was to take the command. + +"You, Mr Simple, will take the pinnace, and order Mr Swinburne into the +cutter." + +"Mr Swinburne, sir!" replied I; "the brig will, in all probability, be +in action soon, and his services as a gunner will be required." + +"Well, then, Mr Hilton may go. Beat to quarters. Where is Mr +Webster?"[1] The second lieutenant was close to us, and he was ordered +to take the duty during my absence. + +I jumped into the pinnace, and shoved off; ten other boats from the +_Acasta_ and the other men-of-war were pulling in the same direction, +and I joined them. The gun-boats had now opened fire upon the convoy +astern, and were sweeping out to capture them, dividing themselves into +two parts, and pulling towards different portions of the convoy. In half +an hour we were within gunshot of the nearest, which directed its fire +at us; but the lieutenant of the _Acasta_, who commanded the detachment, +ordered us to lie on our oars for a minute, while he divided his force +in three divisions, of four boats each, with instructions that we should +each oppose a division of two gun-boats, by pulling to the outermost +vessel of the convoy, and securing ourselves as much as possible from +the fire, by remaining under her lee, and be in readiness to take them +by boarding, if they approached to capture any of our vessels. + +This was well arranged. I had the command of one division, for the first +lieutenants had not been sent away from the _Isis_ and _Reindeer_, and +having inquired which of the divisions of gun-boats I was to oppose, I +pulled for them. In the meantime, we observed that the two praams, and +two gun-boats, which had remained behind us, and had been firing at the +_Racehorse_, had also divided--one praam attacking the _Acasta_, the two +gun-boats playing upon the _Isis_, and the other praam engaging the +_Rattlesnake_ and _Reindeer_; the latter vessel being in a line with us, +and about half a mile further out, so that she could not return any +effectual fire, or, indeed, receive much damage. The _Rattlesnake_ had +the worst of it, the fire of the praam being chiefly directed to her. At +the distance chosen by the enemy, the frigate's guns reached, but the +other men-of-war, having only two long guns, were not able to return the +fire but with their two, the carronades being useless. + +One of the praams mounted ten guns, and the other eight. The last was +opposed to the _Rattlesnake_, and the fire was kept up very smartly, +particularly by the _Acasta_ and the enemy. In about a quarter of an +hour I arrived with my division close to the vessel which was nearest to +the enemy. It was a large Sunderland-built ship. The gun-boats, which +were within a quarter of a mile of her, sweeping to her as fast as they +could, as soon as they perceived our approach, directed their fire upon +us, but without success, except the last discharge, in which, we being +near enough, they had loaded with grape. The shot fell a little short, +but one piece of grape struck one of the bowmen of the pinnace, taking +off three fingers of his right hand as he was pulling his oar. Before +they could fire again, we were sheltered by the vessel, pulling close to +her side, hid from the enemy. My boat was the only one in the division +which carried a gun, and I now loaded, waiting for the discharge of the +gun-boats, and then, pulling a little ahead of the ship, fired at them, +and then returned under cover to load. This continued for some time, the +enemy not advancing nearer, but now firing into the Sunderland ship, +which protected us. At last the master of the ship looked over the side, +and said to me, "I say, my joker, do you call this _giving me +assistance?_ I think I was better off before you came. Then I had only +my share of the enemy's fire, but now that you have come, I have it all. +I'm riddled like a sieve, and have lost four men already. Suppose you +give me a spell now--pull behind the vessel ahead of us. I'll take my +chance." + +I thought this request very reasonable, and as I should be really nearer +to the enemy if I pulled to the next vessel, and all ready to support +him if attacked, I complied with his wish. I had positive orders not to +board with so small a force (the four boats containing but forty men, +and each gun-boat having at least seventy), unless they advanced to +capture, and then I was to run all risks. + +I pulled up to the other vessel, a large brig, and the captain, as soon +as we came alongside, said, "I see what you're about, and I'll just +leave you my vessel to take care of. No use losing my men, or being +knocked on the head." + +"All's right--you can't do better, and we can't do better either." + +His boat was lowered down, and getting in with his men, he pulled to +another vessel, and lay behind it, all ready to pull back if a breeze +sprang up. + +As was to be expected, the gun-boats shifted their fire to the deserted +vessel, which our boat lay behind; and thus did the action in our +quarter continue until it was dark, the gun-boats not choosing to +advance, and we restricted from pulling out to attack them. There was no +moon, and, as daylight disappeared, the effect was very beautiful. In +the distance, the cannonading of the frigate, and other men-of-war, +answered by the praams and gunboats, reinforced by six more, as we +afterwards found out--the vivid flashing of the guns, reflected by the +water, as smooth as glass--the dark outlines of the numerous convoy, +with their sails hanging down the masts, one portion of the convoy +appearing for a moment, as the guns were discharged in that direction, +and then disappearing, while others were momentarily seen--the roar of +the heavy guns opposed to us--the crashing of the timbers of the brig, +which was struck at every discharge, and very often perforated--with the +whizzing of the shot as it passed by;--all this in a dark yet clear +night, with every star in the heavens twinkling, and, as it were, +looking down upon us, was interesting as well as awful. But I soon +perceived that the gun-boats were nearing us every time that they fired, +and I now discharged grape alone, waiting for the flash of the fire to +ascertain their direction. At last I could perceive their long, low +hulls, not two cables' length from us, and their sweeps lifting from the +water. It was plain that they were advancing to board, and I resolved to +anticipate them if possible. I had fired ahead of the brig, and I now +pulled with all my boats astern, giving my orders to the officers, and +laying on our oars in readiness. The gun-boats were about half a cable's +length from each other, pulling up abreast, and passing us at about the +same distance, when I directed the men to give way. I had determined to +throw all my force upon the nearest boat, and in half a minute our bows +were forced between their sweeps, which we caught hold of to force our +way alongside. + +The resistance of the Danes was very determined. Three times did I +obtain a footing on the deck, and three times was I thrown back into the +boats. At last we had fairly obtained our ground, and were driving them +gradually forward, when, as I ran on the gunwale to obtain a position +more in advance of my men, I received a blow with the butt end of a +musket--I believe on the shoulder--which knocked me overboard, and I +fell between the sweeps, and sunk under the vessel's bottom. I rose +under her stern; but I was so shook with the violence of the blow, that +I was for some time confused; still I had strength to keep myself above +water, and paddled, as it appeared, away from the vessel, until I hit +against a sweep which had fallen overboard. This supported me, and I +gradually recovered myself. The loud report of a gun close to me +startled me, and I perceived that it was from the gun-boat which I had +boarded, and that her head was turned in the direction of the other +gun-boat. From this, with the noise of the sweeps pulling, I knew that +my men had succeeded in capturing her. I hallooed, but they did not hear +me, and I soon lost sight of her. Another gun was now fired; it was from +the other gun-boat retreating, and I perceived her pulling in-shore, for +she passed me not twenty yards off. I now held the sweep with my hands, +and struck out off the shore, in the direction of the convoy. + +A light breeze rippled the water, and I knew that I had no time to lose. +In about five minutes I heard the sound of oars, and perceived a boat +crossing me. I hailed as loud as I could--they heard me, laid on their +oars--and I hailed again--they pulled to me, and took me in. It was the +master of the brig, who, aware of the capture of one gun-boat, and the +retreat of the other, was looking for his vessel; or, as he told me, for +what was left of her. In a short time we found her, and, although very +much cut up, she had received no shot under water. In an hour the breeze +was strong, the cannonading had ceased in every direction, and we had +repaired her damages, so as to be able to make sail, and continue our +course through the Sound. + +Here I may as well relate the events of the action. One of the other +divisions of gun-boats had retreated when attacked by the boats. The +other had beaten off the boats, and killed many of the men, but had +suffered so much themselves, as to retreat without making any capture. +The _Acasta_ lost four men killed, and seven wounded; the _Isis_, three +men wounded; the _Reindeer_ had nobody hurt; the _Rattlesnake_ had six +men killed, and two wounded, including the captain; but of that I shall +speak hereafter. + +I found that I was by no means seriously hurt by the blow I had +received: my shoulder was stiff for a week, and very much discoloured, +but nothing more. When I fell overboard I had struck against a sweep, +which had cut my ear half off. The captain of the brig gave me dry +clothes, and in a few hours I was very comfortably asleep, hoping to +join my ship the next day; but in this I was disappointed. The breeze +was favourable and fresh, and we were clear of the Sound, but a long way +astern of the convoy, and none of the headmost men-of-war to be seen. I +dressed and went on deck, and immediately perceived that I had little +chance of joining my ship until we arrived at Carlscrona, which proved +to be the case. About ten o'clock, the wind died away, and we had from +that time such baffling light winds, that it was six days before we +dropped our anchor, every vessel of the convoy having arrived before us. + +[Footnote 1: Webster, however, had left the ship at Yarmouth. See p. +202.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter LIX + +The dead man attends at the auction of his own effects, and bids the +sale to stop--One more than was wanted--Peter steps into his shoes +again--Captain Hawkins takes a friendly interest in Peter's papers-- +Riga Balsam sternly refused to be admitted for the relief of the ship's +company. + + +As soon as the sails were furled, I thanked the master of the vessel for +his kindness, and requested the boat. He ordered it to be manned, +saying, "How glad your captain will be to see you!" I doubted that. We +shook hands, and I pulled to the _Rattlesnake_, which lay about two +cables' length astern of us. I had put on a jacket, when I left the brig +on service, and coming in a merchantman's boat, no attention was paid to +me; indeed, owing to circumstances, no one was on the look-out, and I +ascended the side unperceived. The men and officers were on the +quarter-deck, attending the sale of dead men's effects before the mast; +and every eye was fixed upon six pair of nankeen trousers exposed by the +purser's steward which I recognized as my own. "Nine shillings for six +pair of nankeen trousers," cried the purser's steward. + +"Come, my men, they're worth more than that," observed the captain, who +appeared to be very facetious. "It's better to be in his trousers than +in his shoes." This brutal remark created a silence for a moment. "Well, +then, steward, let them go. One would think that pulling on his trousers +would make you as afraid as he was," continued the captain, laughing. + +"Shame!" was cried out by one or two of the officers, and I recognised +Swinburne's voice as one. + +"More likely if they put on yours," cried I, in a loud, indignant tone. + +Everybody started, and turned round; Captain Hawkins staggered to a +carronade: "I beg to report myself as having rejoined my ship, sir," +continued I. + +"Hurrah, my lads! three cheers for Mr Simple!" said Swinburne. + +The men gave them with emphasis. The captain looked at me, and without +saying a word, hastily retreated to his cabin. I perceived, as he went +down, that he had his arm in a sling. I thanked the men for their kind +feeling towards me, shook hands with Thompson and Webster, who warmly +congratulated me, and then with old Swinburne, (who nearly wrung my arm +off, and gave my shoulder such pain as to make me cry out,) and with the +others who extended theirs. I desired the sale of my effects to be +stopped; fortunately for me, it had but just begun, and the articles +were all returned. Thompson had informed the captain that he knew my +father's address, and would take charge of my clothes, and send them +home, but the captain would not allow him. + +In a few minutes, I received a letter from the captain, desiring me to +acquaint him in writing, for the information of the senior officer, in +what manner I had escaped. I went down below, when I found one very +melancholy face, that of the passed midshipman of the _Acasta_, who had +received an acting order in my place. When I went to my desk, I found +two important articles missing; one, my private letter-book, and the +other, the journal which I kept of what passed, and from which this +narrative has been compiled. I inquired of my messmates, who stated that +the desk had not been looked into by any one but the captain, who, of +course, must have possessed himself of those important documents. + +I wrote a letter containing a short narrative of what had happened, and, +at the same time, another on service to the captain, requesting that he +would deliver up my property, the private journal, and letter-book in +his possession. The captain, as soon as he received my letters, sent up +word for his boat to be manned. As soon as it was manned, I reported it, +and then begged to know whether he intended to comply with my request. +He answered that he should not, and then went on deck, and quitted the +brig to pull on board of the senior officer. I therefore determined +immediately to write to the captain of the _Acasta_, acquainting him +with the conduct of Captain Hawkins, and requesting his interference. +This I did immediately, and the boat that had brought me on board not +having left the brig, I sent the letter by it, requesting them to put it +into the hands of one of the officers. The letter was received previous +to Captain Hawkins' visit being over, and the Captain of the _Acasta_ +put it into his hands, inquiring if the statement were correct. Captain +Hawkins replied that it was true that he had detained these papers, as +there was so much mutiny and disaffection in them, and that he should +not return them to me. + +"That I cannot permit," replied the captain of the _Acasta_, who was +aware of the character of Captain Hawkins; "if, by mistake, you have +been put in possession of any of Mr Simple's secrets, you are bound in +honour not to make use of them; neither can you retain property not your +own." But Captain Hawkins was determined, and refused to give them to +me. + +"Well, then, Captain Hawkins," replied the captain of the _Acasta_, "you +will oblige me by remaining on my quarter-deck till I come out of the +cabin." + +The captain of the _Acasta_ then wrote an order, directing Captain +Hawkins immediately to deliver up _to him_ the papers of mine in his +possession; and coming out of the cabin, put it into Captain Hawkins' +hands, saying, "Now, sir, here is a written order from your superior +officer. Disobey it, if you dare. If you do, I will put you under +arrest, and try you by a court-martial. I can only regret, that any +captain in His Majesty's service should be forced in this way to do his +duty as a gentleman and a man of honour." + +Captain Hawkins bit his lip at the order, and the cutting remarks +accompanying it. "Your boat is manned, sir," said the captain of the +_Acasta_, in a severe tone. Captain Hawkins came on board, sealed up the +books, and sent them to the captain of the _Acasta_, who re-directed +them to me, on His Majesty's service, and returned them by the same +boat. The public may therefore thank the captain of the _Acasta_ for the +memoirs which they are now reading. + +From my messmates I gained the following intelligence of what had passed +after I had quitted the brig. The fire of the praam had cut them up +severely, and Captain Hawkins had been struck in the arm with a piece of +the hammock-rail, which had been shot away shortly after I left. +Although the skin only was razed, he thought proper to consider himself +badly wounded; and giving up the command to Mr Webster, the second +lieutenant, had retreated below, where he remained until the action was +over. When Mr Webster reported the return of the boats, with the capture +of the gun-boat, and my supposed death, he was so delighted, that he +quite forgot his wound, and ran on deck, rubbing his hands as he walked +up and down. At last, he recollected himself, went down into his cabin, +and came up again with his arm in a sling. + +The next morning he went on board of the _Acasta_, and made his report +to the senior officer, bringing back with him the disappointed +passed-midshipman as my successor. He had also stated on the +quarter-deck, that if I had not been killed, he intended to have tried +me by a court-martial, and have turned me out of the service; that he +had quite enough charges to ruin me, for he had been collecting them +ever since I had been under his command; and that now he would make that +old scoundrel of a gunner repent his intimacy with me. All this was +confided to the surgeon, who, as I before observed, was very much of a +courtier; but the surgeon had repeated it to Thompson, the master, who +now gave me the information. There was one advantage in all this, which +was that I knew exactly the position in which I stood, and what I had to +expect. + +During the short time that we remained in port, I took care that _Riga +balsam_ should not be allowed to come alongside, and the men were all +sober. We received orders from the captain of the _Acasta_ to join the +admiral, who was off the Texel in pursuance of directions he had +received from the Admiralty to despatch one of the squadron, and we were +selected, from the dislike which he had taken to Captain Hawkins. + + + + +Chapter LX + +An old friend in a new case--Heart of oak in Swedish fur--A man's a man +all the world over, and something more in many parts of it--Peter gets +reprimanded for being dilatory, but proves a title to a defence-- +Allowed. + +When we were about forty miles off the harbour, a frigate hove in sight. +We made the private signal: she hoisted Swedish colours, and kept away a +couple of points to close with us. + +We were within two miles of her when she up courses and took in her +topgallant sails. As we closed to within two cables' lengths, she +hove-to. We did the same; and the captain desired me to lower down the +boat, and board her, ask her name, by whom she was commanded, and offer +any assistance if the captain required it. This was the usual custom of +the service, and I went on board in obedience to my orders. When I +arrived on the quarter-deck, I asked in French, whether there was any +one who spoke it. The first lieutenant came forward, and took off his +hat: I stated that I was requested to ask the name of the vessel and the +commanding officer, to insert it in our log, and to offer any service +that we could command. He replied that the captain was on deck, and +turned round, but the captain had gone down below. "I will inform him of +your message--I had no idea that he had quitted the deck;" and the first +lieutenant left me. I exchanged a few compliments and a little news with +the officers on deck, who appeared to be very gentlemanlike fellows, +when the first lieutenant requested my presence in the cabin. I +descended--the door was opened--I was announced by the first lieutenant, +and he quitted the cabin. I looked at the captain, who was sitting at +the table: he was a fine, stout man, with two or three ribands at his +button-hole, and a large pair of moustachios. I thought that I had seen +him before, but I could not recollect when: his face was certainly +familiar to me, but, as I had been informed by the officers on deck, +that the captain was a Count Shucksen, a person I had never heard of, I +thought that I must be mistaken. I therefore addressed him in French, +paying him a long compliment, with all the necessary _et ceteras_. + +The captain turned round to me, took his hand away from his forehead, +which it had shaded, and looking me full in the face, replied, "Mr +Simple, I don't understand but very little French. Spin your yarn in +plain English." + +I started--"I thought that I knew your face," replied I; "am I +mistaken?--no, it must be--Mr Chucks!" + +"You are right, my dear Mr Simple: it is your old friend, Chucks, the +boatswain, whom you now see. I knew you as soon as you came up the side, +and I was afraid that you would immediately recognize me, and I slipped +down into the cabin (for which apparent rudeness allow me to apologise), +that you might not explain before the officers." + +We shook hands heartily, and then he requested me to sit down. "But," +said I, "they told me on deck that the frigate was commanded by a Count +Shucksen." + +"That is my present rank, my dear Peter," said he; "but as you have no +time to lose, I will explain all. I know I can trust to your honour. You +remember that you left me, as you and I supposed, dying in the +privateer, with the captain's jacket and epaulettes on my shoulders. +When the boats came out, and you left the vessel, they boarded and found +me. I was still breathing; and judging of my rank by the coat, they put +me into the boat, and pushed on shore. The privateer sank very shortly +after. I was not expected to live, but in a few days a change took +place, and I was better. They asked me my name, and I gave my own, which +they lengthened into Shucksen, somehow or another. I recovered by a +miracle, and am now as well as ever I was in my life. They were not a +little proud of having captured a captain in the British service, as +they supposed, for they never questioned me as to my real rank. After +some weeks I was sent home to Denmark in a running vessel; but it so +happened, that we met with a gale, and were wrecked on the Swedish +coast, close to Carlscrona. The Danes were at that time at war, having +joined the Russians; and they were made prisoners, while I was of course +liberated, and treated with great distinction; but as I could not speak +either French or their own language, I could not get on very well. +However, I had a handsome allowance, and permission to go to England as +soon as I pleased. The Swedes were then at war with the Russians, and +were fitting out their fleet; but, Lord bless them! they didn't know +much about it. I amused myself walking in the dockyard, and looking at +their motions; but they had not thirty men in the fleet who knew what +they were about, and, as for a man to set them going, there wasn't one. +Well, Peter, you know I could not be idle, and so by degrees I told one, +and then told another--until they went the right way to work; and the +captains and officers were very much obliged to me. At last, they all +came to me, and if they did not understand me entirely, I showed them +how to do it with my own hands; and the fleet began to make a show with +their rigging. The admiral who commanded was very much obliged, and I +seemed to come as regularly to my work as if I was paid for it. At last, +the admiral came with an English interpreter, and asked me whether I was +anxious to go back to England, or would I like to join their service. I +saw what they wanted, and I replied that I had neither wife nor child in +England, and that I liked their country very much; but I must take time +to consider of it, and must also know what they had to propose. I went +home to my lodgings, and, to make them more anxious, I did not make my +appearance at the dockyard for three or four days, when a letter came +from the admiral, offering me the command of a frigate if I would join +their service. I replied, (for I knew how much they wanted me,) that I +would prefer an English frigate to a Swedish one, and that I would not +consent unless they offered something more; and then, with the express +stipulation that I should not take arms against my own country. They +then waited for a week, when they offered to make me a _Count_, and give +me the command of a frigate. This suited me, as you may suppose, Peter; +it was the darling wish of my heart--I was to be made a gentleman. I +consented, and was made Count Shucksen, and had a fine large frigate +under my command. I then set to work with a will, superintended the +fitting out of the whole fleet, and showed them what an Englishman could +do. We sailed, and you of course know the brush we had with the +Russians, which, I must say, did us no discredit. I was fortunate to +distinguish myself, for I exchanged several broadsides with a Russian +two-deck ship, and came off with honour. When we went into port I got +this riband. I was out afterwards, and fell in with a Russian frigate, +and captured her, for which I received this other riband. Since that I +have been in high favour, and now that I speak the languages, I like the +people very much. I am often at court when I am in harbour; and, Peter, +I am _married_." + +"I wish you joy, count, with all my heart." + +"Yes, and well married too--to a Swedish countess of very high family, +and I expect that I have a little boy or girl by this time. So you +observe, Peter, that I am at last a gentleman, and, what is more, my +children will be noble by two descents. Who would have thought that this +would have been occasioned by my throwing the captain's jacket into the +boat instead of my own? And now, my dear Mr Simple, that I have made you +my confidant, I need not say, do not say a word about it to anybody. +They certainly could not do me much harm, but still, they might do me +some; and although I am not likely to meet any one who may recognize me +in this uniform and these moustachios, it's just as well to keep the +secret, which to you and O'Brien only would I have confided." + +"My dear count," replied I, "your secret is safe with me. You have come +to your title before me, at all events; and I sincerely wish you joy, +for you have obtained it honourably; but, although I would like to talk +with you for days, I must return on board, for I am now sailing with a +very unpleasant captain." + +I then, in a few words, stated where O'Brien was; and when we parted, I +went with him on deck, Count Shucksen taking my arm, and introducing me +as an old shipmate to his officers. "I hope we may meet again," said I, +"but I am afraid there is little chance." + +"Who knows?" replied he; "see what chance has done for me. My dear +Peter, God bless you! You are one of the very few whom I always loved. +God bless you, my boy! and never forget that all I have is at your +command if you come my way." + +I thanked him, and saluting the officers, went down the side. As I +expected, when I came on board, the captain demanded, in an angry tone, +why I had stayed so long. I replied, that I was shown down into Count +Shucksen's cabin, and he conversed so long, that I could not get away +sooner, as it would not have been polite to have left him before he had +finished his questions. I then gave a very civil message, and the +captain said no more; the very name of a great man always silenced him. + + + + +Chapter LXI + +Bad news from home, and worse on board--Notwithstanding his previous +trials, Peter forced to prepare for another--Mrs Trotter again; improves +as she grows old--Captain Hawkins and his twelve charges. + + +No other event of consequence occurred until we joined the admiral, who +only detained us three hours with the fleet, and then sent us home with +his despatches. We arrived, after a quiet passage, at Portsmouth, where +I wrote immediately to my sister Ellen, requesting to know the state of +my father's health. I waited impatiently for an answer, and by return of +post received one with a black seal. My father had died the day before +from a brain fever; and Ellen conjured me to obtain leave of absence, to +come to her in her state of distress. The captain came on board the next +morning, and I had a letter ready written on service to the admiral, +stating the circumstances, and requesting leave of absence. I presented +it to him, and entreated him to forward it. At any other time I would +not have condescended, but the thoughts of my poor sister, unprotected +and alone, with my father lying dead in the house, made me humble and +submissive. Captain Hawkins read the letter, and very coolly replied, +"that it was very easy to say that my father was dead, but he required +proofs." Even this insult did not affect me; I put my sister's letter +into his hand--he read it, and as he returned it to me, he smiled +maliciously. "It is impossible for me to forward your letter, Mr Simple, +as I have one to deliver to you." + +He put a large folio packet into my hand, and went below. I opened it: +it was a copy of a letter demanding a court-martial upon me, with a long +list of the charges preferred by him. I was stupefied, not so much at +his asking for a court-martial, but at the conviction of the +impossibility of my now being able to go to the assistance of my poor +sister. I went down into the gunroom and threw myself on a chair, at the +same time tossing the letter to Thompson, the master. He read it over +carefully, and folded it up. + +"Upon my word, Simple, I do not see that you have much to fear. These +charges are very frivolous." + +"No, no--that I care little about; but it is my poor sister. I had +written for leave of absence, and now she is left, God knows how long, +in such distressing circumstances." + +Thompson looked grave. "I had forgotten your father's death, Simple: it +is indeed cruel. I would offer to go myself, but you will want my +evidence at the court-martial. It can't be helped. Write to your sister, +and keep up her spirits. Tell her why you cannot come, and that it will +all end well." + +I did so, and went early to bed, for I was really ill. The next morning, +the official letter from the port-admiral came off, acquainting me that +a court-martial had been ordered upon me, and that it would take place +that day week. I immediately resigned the command to the second +lieutenant, and commenced an examination into the charges preferred. +They were very numerous, and dated back almost to the very day that he +had joined the ship. There were twelve in all. I shall not trouble the +reader with the whole of them, as many were very frivolous. The +principal charges were-- + +1. For mutinous and disrespectful conduct to Captain Hawkins, on such a +date, having, in a conversation with an inferior officer on the +quarter-deck, stated that Captain Hawkins was a spy, and had spies in +the ship. + +2. For neglect of duty, in disobeying the orders of Captain Hawkins on +the night of the ---- of ----. + +3. For having, on the ---- of ----, sent away two boats from the ship, +in +direct opposition to the orders of Captain Hawkins. + +4. For having again, on the morning of the ---- of ----, held mutinous +and disrespectful conversation relative to Captain Hawkins with the +gunner of the ship, allowing the latter to accuse Captain Hawkins of +cowardice, without reporting the same. + +5. For insulting expressions on the quarter-deck to Captain Hawkins on +his rejoining the brig on the morning of the ---- of ----. + +6. For not causing the orders of Captain Hawkins to be put in force on +several occasions, &c. &c. &c. + +And further, as Captain Hawkins' testimony was necessary in two of the +charges, the king, on _those charges,_ was the prosecutor. Although most +of these charges were frivolous, yet I at once perceived my danger. Some +were dated back many months, to the time before our ship's company had +been changed: and I could not find the necessary witnesses. Indeed, in +all but the recent charges, not expecting to be called to a +court-martial, I had serious difficulties to contend with. But the most +serious was the first charge, which I knew not how to get over. +Swinburne had most decidedly referred to the captain when he talked of +spy captains. However, with the assistance of Thompson, I made the best +defence I could, ready for my trial. + +Two days before my court-martial I received a letter from Ellen, who +appeared in a state of distraction from this accumulation of misfortune. +She told me that my father was to be buried the next day, and that the +new rector had written to her, to know when it would be convenient for +the vicarage to be given up. That my father's bills had been sent in, +and amounted to twelve hundred pounds already; and that she knew not the +extent of the whole claims. There appeared to be nothing left but the +furniture of the house; and she wanted to know whether the debts were to +be paid with the money I had left in the funds for her use. I wrote +immediately, requesting her to liquidate every claim, as far as my money +went, sending her an order upon my agent to draw for the whole amount, +and a power of attorney to him to sell out the stock. + +I had just sealed the letter, when Mrs Trotter, who had attended the +ship since our return to Portsmouth, begged to speak with me, and walked +in after her message, without waiting for an answer. "My dear Mr +Simple," said she, "I know all that is going on, and I find that you +have no lawyer to assist you. Now I know that it is necessary, and will +very probably be of great service in your defence--for when people are +in distress and anxiety, they have not their wits about them; so I have +brought a friend of mine from Portsea, a very clever man, who, for my +sake, will undertake your cause, and I hope you will not refuse him. You +recollect giving me a dozen pair of stockings. I did not refuse them, +nor shall you refuse me now. I always said to Mr Trotter, 'Go to a +lawyer;' and if he had taken my advice he would have done well. I +recollect, when a hackney-coachman smashed the panel of our carriage-- +'Trotter,' says I, 'go to a lawyer;' and he very politely answered, 'Go +to the devil!' But what was the consequence!--he's dead and I'm +bumming. Now, Mr Simple, will you oblige me?--it's all free gratis for +nothing--not for nothing, for it's for my sake. You see, Mr Simple, I +have admirers yet," concluded she, smiling. + +Mrs Trotter's advice was good; and although I would not listen to +receiving his services gratuitously, I agreed to employ him; and very +useful did he prove against such charges, and such a man as Captain +Hawkins. He came on board that afternoon, carefully examined into all +the documents and the witnesses whom I could bring forward, showed me +the weak side of my defence, and took the papers on shore with him. +Every day he came on board to collect fresh evidence and examine into my +case. + +At last the day arrived. I dressed myself in my best uniform. The gun +fired from the admiral's ship, with the signal for a court-martial at +nine o'clock; and I went on board in a boat, with all the witnesses. On +my arrival, I was put under the custody of the provost-marshal. The +captains ordered to attend pulled alongside one after another, and were +received by a party of marines, presenting their arms. + +At half-past nine the court was all assembled, and I was ushered in. +Courts-martial are open courts, although no one is permitted to print +the evidence. At the head of the long table was the admiral, as +president; on his right hand, standing, was Captain Hawkins, as +prosecutor. On each side of the table were six captains, sitting near to +the admiral, according to their seniority. At the bottom, facing the +admiral, was the judge-advocate, on whose left hand I stood, as +prisoner. The witnesses called in to be examined were stationed on his +right; and behind him, by the indulgence of the court, was a small +table, at which sat my legal adviser, so close as to be able to +communicate with me. The court were all sworn, and then took their +seats. Stauncheons, with ropes covered with green baize, passed along, +were behind the chairs of the captains who composed the court, so that +they might not be crowded upon by those who came in to listen to what +passed. The charges were then read, as well as the letters to and from +the admiral, by which the court-martial was demanded and granted: and +then Captain Hawkins was desired to open his prosecution. He commenced +with observing his great regret that he had been forced to a measure so +repugnant to his feelings; his frequent cautions to me, and the +indifference with which I treated them; and, after a preamble composed +of every falsity that could be devised, he commenced with the first +charge, and stating himself to be the witness, gave his evidence. When +it was finished, I was asked if I had any questions to put. By the +advice of my lawyer, I replied, "No." The president then asked the +captains composing the court-martial, commencing according to their +seniority, whether they wished to ask any questions. + +"I wish," said the second captain who was addressed, "to ask Captain +Hawkins whether, when he came on deck, he came up in the usual way in +which a captain of a man-of-war comes on his quarter-deck, or whether he +slipped up without noise?" + +Captain Hawkins declared that he came up as he _usually did._ This was +true enough, for he invariably came up by stealth. + +"Pray, Captain Hawkins, as you have repeated a good deal of conversation +which passed between the first lieutenant and the gunner, may I ask you +how long you were by their side without their perceiving you?" + +"A very short time," was the answer. + +"But, Captain Hawkins, do you not think, allowing that you came up on +deck in your _usual_ way, as you term it, that you would have done +better to have hemmed or hawed, so as to let your officers know that you +were present? I should be very sorry to hear all that might be said of +me in my supposed absence." + +To this observation Captain Hawkins replied, that he was so astonished +at the conversation, that he was quite breathless, having, till then, +had the highest opinion of me. + +No more questions were asked, and they proceeded to the second charge. +This was a very trifling one--for lighting a stove, contrary to orders; +the evidence brought forward was the sergeant of marines. When his +evidence in favour of the charge had been given, I was asked by the +president if I had any questions to put to the witness. I put the +following:-- + +"Did you repeat to Captain Hawkins that I had ordered the stove to be +lighted?"--"I did." + +"Are you not in the custom of reporting, direct to the captain, any +negligence, or disobedience of orders, you may witness in the ship?"--"I +am." + +"Did you ever report anything of the sort to me, as first lieutenant, or +do you always report direct to the captain?" + +"I always report direct to the captain." + +"By the captain's orders?"--"Yes." + +The following questions were then put by some of the members of the +court:-- + +"You have served in other ships before?"--"Yes." + +"Did you ever, sailing with other captains, receive an order from them +to report direct to them, and not through the first lieutenant?" The +witness here prevaricated. + +"Answer directly, yes or no."--"No." + +The third charge was then brought forward--for sending away boats +contrary to express orders. This was substantiated by Captain Hawkins' +own evidence, the order having been verbal. By the advice of my counsel, +I put no questions to Captain Hawkins, neither did the court. + +The fourth charge--that of holding mutinous conversation with the +gunner, and allowing him to accuse the captain of unwillingness to +engage the enemy--was then again substantiated by Captain Hawkins, as +the only witness. I again left my reply for my defence; and only one +question was put by one of the members, which was, to inquire of Captain +Hawkins, as he appeared peculiarly unfortunate in overhearing +conversations, whether he walked up as usual to the taffrail, or whether +he _crept up._ Captain Hawkins gave the same answer as before. + +The fifth charge--for insulting expressions to Captain Hawkins, on my +rejoining the brig at Carlscrona--was then brought forward, and the +sergeant of marines and one of the seamen appeared as witnesses. This +charge excited a great deal of amusement. In the cross-examination by +the members of the court, Captain Hawkins was asked what he meant by the +expression, when disposing of the clothes of an officer who was killed +in action, that the men appeared to think that his trousers would instil +fear. + +"Nothing more, upon my honour, sir," replied Captain Hawkins, "than an +implication that they were alarmed lest they should be haunted by his +ghost." + +"Then, of course, Mr Simple meant the same in his reply," observed the +captain sarcastically. + +The remainder of the charges were then brought forward, but they were of +little consequence. The witnesses were chiefly the sergeant of marines, +and the spy-glass of Captain Hawkins, who had been watching me from the +shore. + +It was late in the afternoon before they were all gone through; and the +president then adjourned the court, that I might bring forward my own +witnesses, in my defence, on the following day, and I returned on board +the _Rattlesnake_. + + + + +Chapter LXII + +A good defence not always good against a bad accusation--Peter wins +the heart of his judges, yet loses his cause, and is dismissed his ship. + + +The next day I commenced my defence, and I preferred calling my own +witnesses first, and, by the advice of my counsel, and at the request of +Swinburne, I called him. I put the following questions:--"When we were +talking on the quarter-deck, was it fine weather?"--"Yes, it was." + +"Do you think that you might have heard any one coming on deck, in the +usual way, up the companion ladder?" + +"Sure of it." + +"Do you mean, then, to imply that Captain Hawkins came up stealthily?" + +"I have an idea he pounced upon us as a cat does on a mouse." + +"What were the expressions made use of?" + +"I said that a spy captain would always find spy followers." + +"In that remark were you and Mr Simple referring to your own captain?"-- + +"The remark was mine. What Mr Simple was thinking of, I can't tell; but +I _did_ refer to the captain, and he has proved that I was right." This +bold answer of Swinburne's rather astonished the court, who commenced +cross-questioning him; but he kept to his original assertion--that I had +only answered generally. To repel the second charge I produced no +witnesses; but to the third charge I brought forward three witnesses to +prove that Captain Hawkins's orders were that I should send no boats on +shore, not that I should not send them on board of the men-of-war close +to us. In answer to the fourth charge, I called Swinburne, who stated +that if I did not, he would come forward. Swinburne acknowledged that he +accused the captain of being shy, and that I reprimanded him for so +doing. "Did he say that he would report you?" inquired one of the +captains. "No, sir," replied Swinburne, "'cause he never meant to do +it." This was an unfortunate answer. + +To the fifth charge, I brought several witnesses to prove the words of +Captain Hawkins, and the sense in which they were taken by the ship's +company, and the men calling out "Shame!" when he used the expression. + +To refute the other charges I called one or two witnesses, and the court +then adjourned, inquiring of me when I would be ready to commence my +defence. I requested a day to prepare, which was readily granted; and +the ensuing day the court did not sit. I hardly need say that I was +busily employed, arranging my defence with my counsel. At last all was +done, and I went to bed tired and unhappy; but I slept soundly, which +could not be said of my counsel, for he went on shore at eleven o'clock, +and sat up all night making a fair copy. After all, the fairest court of +justice is a naval court-martial--no brow-beating of witnesses, an +evident inclination towards the prisoner--every allowance and every +favour granted him, and no legal quibbles attended to. It is a court of +equity, with very few exceptions; and the humbler the individual, the +greater the chance in his favour. + +I was awoke the following morning by my counsel, who had not gone to bed +the previous night, and who had come off at seven o'clock to read over +with me my defence. At nine o'clock I again proceeded on board, and in a +short time the court was sitting. I came in, handed my defence to the +judge-advocate, who read it aloud to the court. I have a copy still by +me, and will give the whole of it to the reader. + +"Mr President and Gentlemen,--After nearly fourteen years' service in +his Majesty's navy, during which I have been twice made prisoner, twice +wounded, and once wrecked; and, as I trust I shall prove to you, by +certificates and the public despatches, I have done my duty with zeal +and honour; I now find myself in a situation in which I never expected +to be placed--that of being arraigned before and brought to a +court-martial for charges of mutiny, disaffection, and disrespect +towards my superior officer. If the honourable court will examine the +certificates I am about to produce, they will find that, until I sailed +with Captain Hawkins, my conduct has always been supposed to have been +diametrically opposite to that which is now imputed to me. I have always +been diligent and obedient to command; and I have only to regret that +the captains with whom I have had the honour to sail are not now present +to corroborate by their oral evidence the truth of these documents. +Allow me, in the first place, to point out to the court, that the +charges against me are spread over a large space of time, amounting to +nearly eighteen months, during the whole of which period Captain Hawkins +never stated to me that it was his intention to try me by a +court-martial; and, although repeatedly in the presence of a senior +officer, has never preferred any charge against me. The articles of war +state expressly that if any officer, soldier, or marine has any +complaint to make he is to do so upon his arrival at any port or fleet +where he may fall in with a superior officer. I admit that this article +of war refers to complaints to be made by inferiors against superiors; +but, at the same time, I venture to submit to the honourable court that +a superior is equally bound to prefer a charge, or to give notice that +the charge will be preferred, on the first seasonable opportunity, +instead of lulling the offender into security, and disarming him in his +defence, by allowing the time to run on so long as to render him +incapable of bringing forward his witnesses. I take the liberty of +calling this to your attention, and shall now proceed to answer the +charges which have been brought against me. + +"I am accused of having held a conversation with an inferior officer on +the quarter-deck of his Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_, in which my +captain was treated with contempt. That it may not be supposed that Mr +Swinburne was a new acquaintance, made upon my joining the brig, I must +observe that he was an old shipmate, with whom I had served many years, +and with whose worth I was well acquainted. He was my instructor in my +more youthful days, and has been rewarded for his merit, with the +warrant which he now holds as gunner of His Majesty's brig +_Rattlesnake_. The offensive observation, in the first place, was not +mine; and, in the second, it was couched in general terms. Here Mr +Swinburne has pointedly confessed that _he_ did refer to the captain, +although the observation was in the plural; but that does not prove the +charge against me--on the contrary, adds weight to the assertion of Mr +Swinburne, that I was guiltless of the present charge. That Captain +Hawkins has acted as a spy, his own evidence on this charge, as well as +that brought forward by other witnesses, will decidedly prove; but as +the truth of the observation does not warrant the utterance, I am glad +that no such expression escaped my lips. + +"Upon the second charge I shall dwell but a short time. It is true that +there is a general order that no stoves shall be alight after a certain +hour; but I will appeal to the honourable court, whether a first +lieutenant is not considered to have a degree of licence of judgment in +all that concerns the interior discipline of the ship. The surgeon sent +to say that a stove was required for one of the sick. I was in bed at +the time, and replied immediately in the affirmative. Does Captain +Hawkins mean to assert to the honourable court, that he would have +refused the request of the surgeon? Most certainly not. The only error I +committed, if it were an error, was not going through the form of +awaking Captain Hawkins, to ask the permission, which, as first +lieutenant, I thought myself authorized to give. + +"The charge against me, of having sent away two boats, contrary to his +order, I have already disproved by witnesses. The order of Captain +Hawkins was, not to communicate with the shore. My reasons for sending +away the boats"--(Here Captain Hawkins interposed, and stated to the +president that my reasons were not necessary to be received. The court +was cleared, and, on our return, the court had decided, that my reasons +ought to be given, and I continued.) "My reasons for sending away these +boats, or rather it was one boat which was despatched to the two +frigates, if I remember well, were, that the brig was in a state of +mutiny. The captain had tied up one of the men, and the ship's company +refused to be flogged. Captain Hawkins then went on shore to the +admiral, to report the situation of his ship, and I conceived it my duty +to make it known to the men-of-war anchored close to us. I shall not +enter into further particulars, as they will only detain the honourable +court; and I am aware that this court-martial is held upon my conduct, +and not upon that of Captain Hawkins. To the charge of again holding +disrespectful language on the quarter-deck, as overheard by Captain. +Hawkins, I must refer the honourable court to the evidence, in which it +is plainly proved that the remarks upon him were not mine, but those of +Mr Swinburne, and that I remonstrated with Mr Swinburne for using such +unguarded expressions. The only point of difficulty is, whether it was +not my duty to have reported such language. I reply, that there is no +proof that I did not intend to report it; but the presence of Captain +Hawkins, who heard what was said, rendered such report unnecessary. + +"On the fifth charge, I must beg that the court will be pleased to +consider that some allowance ought to be made for a moment of +irritation. My character was traduced by Captain Hawkins, supposing that +I was dead; so much so, that even the ship's company cried out _shame._ +I am aware, that no language of a superior officer can warrant a retort +from an inferior; but, as what I intended to imply by that language is +not yet known, although Captain Hawkins has given an explanation to his, +I shall merely say, that I meant no more by my insinuations, than +Captain Hawkins did at the time, by those which he made use of with +respect to me. + +"Upon the other trifling charges brought forward, I lay no stress, as I +consider them fully refuted by the evidence which has been already +adduced; and I shall merely observe, that, for reasons best known to +himself, I have been met with a most decided hostility on the part of +Captain Hawkins, from the time that he first joined the ship; that, on +every occasion, he has used all his efforts to render me uncomfortable, +and embroil me with others; that, not content with narrowly watching my +conduct on board, he has resorted to his spy-glass from the shore; and, +instead of assisting me in the execution of a duty sufficiently arduous, +he has thrown every obstacle in my way, placed inferior officers as +spies over my conduct, and made me feel so humiliated in the presence of +the ship's company, over which I have had to superintend, and in the +disciplining of which I had a right to look to him for support, that, +were it not that some odium would necessarily be attached to the +sentence, I should feel it as one of the happiest events of my life that +I were dismissed from the situation which I now hold under his command. +I now beg that the honourable court will allow the documents I lay upon +the table to be read in support of my character." + +When this was over, the court was cleared, that they might decide upon +the sentence. I waited about half an hour in the greatest anxiety, when +I was again summoned to attend. The usual forms of reading the papers +were gone through, and then came the sentence, which was read by the +president, he and the whole court standing up with their cocked hats on +their heads. After the preamble, it concluded with saying, "that it was +the opinion of that court that the charges had been _partly_ proved, and +therefore, that Lieutenant Peter Simple was dismissed his ship; but, in +consideration of his good character and services, his case was strongly +recommended to the consideration of the Lords Commissioners of the +Admiralty." + + + + +Chapter LXIII + +Peter looks upon his loss as something gained--Goes on board the +_Rattlesnake_ to pack up, and is ordered to pack off--Polite +leave-taking between relations. Mrs Trotter better and better--Goes to +London, and afterwards falls into all manner of misfortunes by the hands +of robbers, and of his own uncle. + + +I hardly knew whether I felt glad or sorry at this sentence. On the one +hand, it was almost a deathblow to my future advancement or employment +in the service; on the other, the recommendation very much softened down +the sentence, and I was quite happy to be quit of Captain Hawkins, and +free to hasten to my poor sister. I bowed respectfully to the court, +which immediately adjourned. Captain Hawkins followed the captains on +the quarter-deck, but none of them would speak to him--so much to his +disadvantage had come out during the trial. + +About ten minutes afterwards, one of the elder captains composing the +court called me into the cabin. "Mr Simple," said he, "we are all very +sorry for you. Our sentence could not be more lenient, under the +circumstances: it was that conversation with the gunner at the taffrail +which floored you. It must be a warning to you to be more careful in +future, how you permit any one to speak of the conduct of your superiors +on the quarter-deck. I am desired by the president to let you know that +it is our intention to express ourselves very strongly to the admiral in +your behalf; so much so, that if another captain applies for you, you +will have no difficulty in being appointed to a ship; and as for leaving +your present ship, under any other circumstances I should consider it a +matter of congratulation." + +I returned my sincere thanks, and soon afterwards quitted the +guard-ship, and went on board of the brig to pack up my clothes, and +take leave of my messmates. On my arrival, I found that Captain Hawkins +had preceded me, and he was on deck when I came up the side. I hastened +down into the gun-room, where I received the condolements of my +messmates. + +"Simple, I wish you joy," cried Thompson, loud enough for the captain to +hear on deck. "I wish I had your luck; I wish somebody would try me by a +court-martial." + +"As it has turned out," replied I, in a loud voice, "and after the +communication made to me by the captains composing the court, of what +they intend to say to the Admiralty, I agree with you, Thompson, that it +is a very kind act on the part of Captain Hawkins, and I feel quite +grateful to them." + +"Steward, come--glasses," cried Thompson, "and let us drink success to +Mr Simple." + +All this was very annoying to Captain Hawkins, who overheard every word. +When our glasses were filled--"Simple, your good health, and may I meet +with as good a messmate," said Thompson. + +At this moment, the sergeant of marines put his head in at the gun-room +door, and said, in a most insolent tone, that I was to leave the ship +immediately. I was so irritated, that I threw my glass of grog in his +face, and he ran up to the captain to make the complaint; but I did not +belong to the ship, and even if I had, I would have resented such +impertinence. + +Captain Hawkins was in a great rage, and I believe would have written +for another court-martial, but he had had enough of them. He inquired +very particularly of the sergeant whether he had told me that I was to +leave the ship directly, or whether, that Captain Hawkins desired that I +should leave the ship immediately; and finding that he had not given the +latter message (which I was aware of, for had he given it, I dare not +have acted as I did); he then sent down again by one of the midshipmen, +desiring me to leave the ship immediately. My reply was, that I should +certainly obey his orders with the greatest pleasure. I hastened to pack +up my clothes, reported myself ready to the second lieutenant, who went +up for permission to man a boat, which was refused by Captain Hawkins, +who said I might go on shore in a shore-boat. I called one alongside, +shook hands with all my messmates, and when I arrived on the +quarter-deck, with Swinburne, and some of the best men, who came +forward; Captain Hawkins stood by the binnacle, bursting with rage. As I +went over the planeshear, I took my hat off to him, and wished him +good-morning very respectfully, adding, "If you have any commands for my +_uncle_, Captain Hawkins, I shall be glad to execute them." + +This observation, which showed him that I knew the connection and +correspondence between them, made him gasp with emotion. "Leave the +ship, sir, or by God I'll put you in irons for mutiny," cried he. I +again took off my hat, and went down the side, and shoved off. + +As soon as I was a few yards distant, the men jumped on the carronades +and cheered, and I perceived Captain Hawkins order them down, and before +I was a cable's length from her, the pipe "all hands to punishment;" so +I presume some of the poor fellows suffered for their insubordination in +showing their good will. I acknowledge that I might have left the ship +in a more dignified manner, and that my conduct was not altogether +correct; but still, I state what I really did do, and some allowance +must be made for my feelings. This is certain, that my conduct after the +court-martial, was more deserving of punishment, than that for which I +had been tried. But I was in a state of feverish excitement, and hardly +knew what I did. + +When I arrived at Sally Port, I had my effects wheeled up to the Blue +Posts, and packing up those which I most required, I threw off my +uniform, and was once more a gentleman at large. I took my place in the +mail for that evening, sent a letter of thanks, with a few bank notes, +to my counsel, and then sat down and wrote a long letter to O'Brien, +acquainting him with the events which had taken place. + +I had just finished, and sealed it up, when in came Mrs Trotter. "Oh my +dear Mr Simple! I'm so sorry, and I have come to console you. There's +nothing like women when men are in affliction, as poor Trotter used to +say, as he laid his head in my lap. When do you go to town?" + +"This evening, Mrs Trotter." + +"I hope I am to continue to attend the ship?" + +"I hope so too, Mrs Trotter, I have no doubt but you will." + +"Now, Mr Simple, how are you off for money? Do you want a little? You +can pay me by-and-by. Don't be afraid. I'm not quite so poor as I was +when you came down to mess with Trotter and me, and when you gave me the +dozen pair of stockings. I know what it is to want money, and what it is +to want friends." + +"Many thanks to you, Mrs Trotter," replied I; "but I have sufficient to +take me home, and then I can obtain more." + +"Well, I'm glad of it, but it was offered in earnest. Good-bye, God +bless you! Come, Mr Simple, give me a kiss; it won't be the first time." + +I kissed her, for I felt grateful for her kindness; and with a little +smirking and ogling she quitted the room. I could not help thinking, +after she was gone, how little we know the hearts of others. If I had +been asked if Mrs Trotter was a person to have done a generous action, +from what I had seen of her in adversity, I should have decidedly said, +No. Yet in this offer she was disinterested, for she knew the service +well enough to be aware that I had little chance of being a first +lieutenant again, and of being of service to her. And how often does it +also occur, that those who ought, from gratitude or long friendship, to +do all they can to assist you, turn from you in your necessity, and +prove false and treacherous! It is God alone who knows our hearts. I +sent my letter to O'Brien to the admiral's office, sat down to a dinner +which I could not taste, and at seven o'clock got into the mail. + +When I arrived in town I was much worse, but I did not wait more than an +hour. I took my place in a coach which did not go to the town near which +we resided; for I had inquired and found that coach was full, and I did +not choose to wait another day. The coach in which I took my place went +within forty miles of the vicarage, and I intended to post across the +country. The next evening I arrived at the point of separation, and +taking out my portmanteau, ordered a chaise, and set off for what had +once been my home. I could hardly hold my head up, I was so ill, and I +lay in a corner of the chaise in a sort of dream, kept from sleeping +from intense pain in the forehead and temples. It was about nine o'clock +at night, when we were in a dreadful jolting road, the shocks proceeding +from which gave me agonizing pain, that the chaise was stopped by two +men, who dragged me out on the grass. One stood over me, while the other +rifled the chaise. The post-boy, who appeared a party to the +transaction, remained quietly on his horse, and as soon as they had +taken my effects, turned round and drove off. They then rifled my +person, taking away everything that I had, leaving me nothing but my +trousers and shirt. After a short consultation, they ordered me to walk +on in the direction in which we had been proceeding in the chaise, and +to hasten as fast as I could, or they would blow my brains out. I +complied with their request, thinking myself fortunate to have escaped +so well. I knew that I was still thirty miles at least from the +vicarage; but ill as I was, I hoped to be able to reach it on foot. I +walked during the remainder of the night, but I got on but slowly. I +reeled from one side of the road to the other, and occasionally sat down +to rest. Morning dawned, and I perceived habitations not far from me. I +staggered on in my course. + +The fever now raged in me, my head was splitting with agony, and I +tottered to a bank near a small neat cottage, on the side of the road. I +have a faint recollection of some one coming to me and taking my hand, +but nothing further; and it was not till many months afterwards, that I +became acquainted with the circumstances which I now relate. It appears +that the owner of the cottage was a half-pay lieutenant in the army, who +had sold-out on account of his wounds. I was humanely taken into his +house, laid on a bed, and a surgeon requested to come to me immediately. +I had now lost all recollection, and who I was they could not ascertain. +My pockets were empty, and it was only by the mark on my linen that they +found that my name was Simple. For three weeks I remained in a state of +alternate stupor and delirium. When the latter came on, I raved of Lord +Privilege, O'Brien, and Celeste. Mr Selwin, the officer who had so +kindly assisted me, knew that Simple was the patronymic name of Lord +Privilege, and he immediately wrote to his lordship, stating that a +young man of the name of Simple, who, in his delirium called upon him +and Captain O'Brien, was lying in a most dangerous state in his house, +and, that as he presumed I was a relative of his lordship's he had +deemed it right to apprise him of the fact. + +My uncle, who knew that it must be me, thought this too favourable an +opportunity, provided I should live, not to have me in his power. He +wrote to say that he would be there in a day or two; at the same time +thanking Mr Selwin for his kind attention to his poor nephew, and +requesting that no expense might be spared. When my uncle arrived, which +he did in his own chariot, the crisis of the fever was over, but I was +still in a state of stupor, arising from extreme debility. He thanked Mr +Selwin for his attention, which he said he was afraid was of little +avail, as I was every year becoming more deranged; and he expressed his +fears that it would terminate in chronic lunacy. "His poor father died +in the same state," continued my uncle, passing his hand across his +eyes, as if much affected. "I have brought my physician with me, to see +if he can be moved. I shall not be satisfied unless I am with him night +and day." + +The physician (who was my uncle's valet) took me by the hand, felt my +pulse, examined my eyes, and pronounced that it would be very easy to +move me, and that I should recover sooner in a more airy room. Of +course, Mr Selwin raised no objections, putting down all to my uncle's +regard for me; and my clothes were put on me, as I lay in a state of +insensibility, and I was lifted into the chariot. It is most wonderful +that I did not die from being thus taken out of my bed in such a state, +but it pleased Heaven that it should be otherwise. Had such an event +taken place, it would probably have pleased my uncle much better than my +surviving. When I was in the carriage, supported by the +pseudo-physician, my uncle again thanked Mr Selwin, begged that he would +command his interest, wrote a handsome cheque for the surgeon who had +attended me, and getting into the carriage, drove off with me still in a +state of insensibility--that is, I was not so insensible, but I think I +felt I had been removed, and I heard the rattling of the wheels; but my +mind was so uncollected, and I was in a state of such weakness, that I +could not feel assured of it for a minute. + +For some days afterwards, for I recollect nothing about the journey, I +found myself in bed in a dark room and my arms confined. I recalled my +senses, and by degrees was able to recollect all that had occurred, +until I laid down by the roadside. Where was I? The room was dark, I +could distinguish nothing; that I had attempted to do myself some +injury, I took for granted, or my arms would not have been secured. I +had been in a fever and delirious, I supposed, and had now recovered. I +had been in a reverie for more than an hour, wondering why I was left +alone, when the door of the apartment opened. "Who is there?" inquired +I. + +"Oh! you've come to yourself again," said a gruff voice; "then I'll give +you a little daylight." + +He took down a shutter which covered the whole of the window, and a +flood of light poured in, which blinded me. I shut my eyes, and by +degrees admitted the light until I could bear it. I looked at the +apartment: the walls were bare and whitewashed. I was on a truckle-bed. +I looked at the window--it was closed up with iron bars.--"Why, where am +I?" inquired I of the man, with alarm. + +"Where are you?" replied he; "why, in Bedlam!" + + + + +Chapter LXIV + +As O'Brien said; it's a long lane that has no turning--I am rescued, and +happiness pours in upon me as fast as misery before overwhelmed me. + + +The shock was too great--I fell back on my pillow insensible. How long I +laid, I know not, but when I recovered the keeper was gone, and I found +a jug of water and some bread by the side of the bed, I drank the water, +and the effect it had upon me was surprising. I felt that I could get +up, and I rose: my arms had been unpinioned during my swoon. I got on my +feet, and staggered to the window. I looked out, saw the bright sun, the +passers-by, the houses opposite--all looked cheerful and gay, but I was +a prisoner in a madhouse. Had I been mad? I reflected, and supposed that +I had been, and had been confined by those who knew nothing of me. It +never came into my head that my uncle had been a party to it. I threw +myself on the bed, and relieved myself with tears. It was about noon +that the medical people, attended by the keepers and others, came into +my apartment. "Is he quite quiet?" "O Lord! yes, sir, as quiet as a +lamb," replied the man who had before entered. I then spoke to the +medical gentleman, begging him to tell why, and how, I had been brought +here. He answered mildly and soothingly, saying that I was there at the +wish of my friends, and that every care would be taken of me; that he +was aware that my paroxysms were only occasional, and that, during the +time I was quiet, I should have every indulgence that could be granted, +and that he hoped that I soon should be perfectly well, and be permitted +to leave the hospital. I replied by stating who I was, and how I had +been taken ill. The doctor shook his head, advised me to lie down as +much as possible, and then quitted me to visit the other patients. + +As I afterwards discovered, my uncle had had me confined upon the plea +that I was a young man who was deranged with an idea that his name was +Simple, and that he was the heir to the title and estates; that I was +very troublesome at times, forcing my way into his house and insulting +the servants, but in every other respect was harmless; that my paroxysms +generally ended in a violent fever, and it was more from the fear of my +coming to some harm, than from any ill-will towards the poor young man, +that he wished me to remain in the hospital, and be taken care of. The +reader may at once perceive the art of this communication: I, having no +idea why I was confined, would of course continue to style myself by my +true name; and as long as I did this, so long would I be considered in a +deranged state. The reader must not therefore be surprised when I tell +him that I remained in Bedlam for one year and eight months. The doctor +called upon me for two or three days, and finding me quiet, ordered me +to be allowed books, paper, and ink, to amuse myself; but every attempt +at explanation was certain to be the signal for him to leave my +apartment. I found, therefore, not only by him, but from the keeper, who +paid no attention to anything I said, that I had no chance of being +listened to, or of obtaining my release. + +After the first month, the doctor came to me no more: I was a quiet +patient, and he received the report of the keeper. I was sent there with +every necessary document to prove that I was mad; and, although a very +little may establish a case of lunacy, it requires something very strong +indeed to prove that you are in your right senses. In Bedlam I found it +impossible. At the same time I was well treated, was allowed all +necessary comforts, and such amusement as could be obtained from books, +&c. I had no reason to complain of the keeper--except that he was too +much employed to waste his time in listening to what he did not believe. +I wrote several letters to my sister and to O'Brien, during the first +two or three months, and requested the keeper to put them in the post. +This he promised to do, never refusing to take the letters; but, as I +afterwards found out, they were invariably destroyed. Yet I still bore +up with the hopes of release for some time; but the anxiety relative to +my sister, when I thought of her situation, my thoughts of Celeste and +of O'Brien, sometimes quite overcame me; then, indeed, I would almost +become frantic, and the keeper would report that I had had a paroxysm. +After six months I became melancholy, and I wasted away. I no longer +attempted to amuse myself, but sat all day with my eyes fixed upon +vacancy. I no longer attended to my person; I allowed my beard to grow-- +my face was never washed, unless mechanically, when ordered by the +keeper; and if I was not mad, there was every prospect of my soon +becoming so. Life passed away as a blank--I had become indifferent to +everything--I noted time no more--the change of seasons was unperceived +--even the day and the night followed without my regarding them. + +I was in this unfortunate situation, when one day the door was opened, +and, as had been often the custom during my imprisonment, visitors were +going round the establishment, to indulge their curiosity, in witnessing +the degradation of their fellow-creatures, or to offer their +commiseration. I paid no heed to them, not even casting up my eyes. +"This young man," said the medical gentleman who accompanied the party, +"has entertained the strange idea that his name is Simple, and that he +is the rightful heir to the title and property of Lord Privilege." + +One of the visitors came up to me, and looked me in the face. "And so he +is," cried he to the doctor, who looked with astonishment. "Peter, don't +you know me?" I started up. It was General O'Brien. I flew into his +arms, and burst into tears. + +"Sir," said General O'Brien, leading me to the chair, and seating me +upon it, "I tell you that _is_ Mr Simple, the nephew of Lord Privilege; +and I believe, the heir to the title. If, therefore, his assertion of +such being the case is the only proof of his insanity, he is illegally +confined. I am here, a foreigner, and a prisoner on parole; but I am not +without friends. My Lord Belmore," said he, turning to another of the +visitors who had accompanied him, "I pledge you my honour that what I +state is true; and I request that you will immediately demand the +release of this poor young man." + +"I assure you, sir, that I have Lord Privilege's letter," observed the +doctor. + +"Lord Privilege is a scoundrel," replied General O'Brien. "But there is +justice to be obtained in this country, and he shall pay dearly for his +_lettre de cachet_. My dear Peter, how fortunate was my visit to this +horrid place! I had heard so much of the excellent arrangements of this +establishment, that I agreed to walk round with Lord Belmore; but I find +that it is abused." + +"Indeed, General O'Brien, I have been treated with kindness," replied I; +"and particularly by this gentleman. It was not his fault." + +General O'Brien and Lord Belmore then inquired of the doctor if he had +any objection to my release. + +"None whatever, my lord, even if he were insane; although I now see how +I have been imposed upon. We allow the friends of any patient to remove +him, if they think that they can pay him more attention. He may leave +with you this moment." + +I now did feel my brain turn with the revulsion from despair to hope, +and I fell back in my seat. The doctor, perceiving my condition, bled me +copiously, and laid me on the bed, where I remained more than an hour, +watched by General O'Brien. I then got up, calm and thankful. I was +shaved by the barber of the establishment, washed and dressed myself, +and, leaning on the general's arm, was let out. I cast my eyes upon the +two celebrated stone figures of Melancholy and Raving Madness, as I +passed them; I trembled, and clung more tightly to the general's arm, +was assisted into the carriage, and bade farewell to madness and misery. +The general said nothing until we approached the hotel where he resided, +in Dover-street, and then he inquired, in a low voice, whether I could +bear more excitement. + +"It is Celeste you mean, general?" + +"It is, my dear boy; she is here;" and he squeezed my hand. + +"Alas!" cried I, "what hopes have I now of Celeste?" + +"More than you had before," replied the general. "She lives but for you; +and if you are a beggar, I have a competence to make you sufficiently +comfortable." + +I returned the general's pressure of the hand, but could not speak. We +descended, and in a minute I was led by the father into the arms of the +astonished daughter. + +I must pass over a few days, during which I had almost recovered my +health and spirits, and had narrated my adventures to General O'Brien +and Celeste. My first object was to discover my sister. What had become +of poor Ellen, in the destitute condition in which she had been left I +knew not; and I resolved to go down to the vicarage, and make inquiries. +I did not, however, set off until a legal adviser had been sent for by +General O'Brien, and due notice given to Lord Privilege of an action to +be immediately brought against him for false imprisonment. + +I set off in the mail, and the next evening arrived at the town of----. +I hastened to the parsonage, and the tears stood in my eyes as I thought +of my mother, my poor father, and the peculiar and doubtful situation of +my dear sister. I was answered by a boy in livery, and found the present +incumbent at home. He received me politely, listened to my story, and +then replied that my sister had set off for London on the day of his +arrival, and that she had not communicated her intentions to any one. +Here, then, was all clue lost, and I was in despair. I walked to the +town in time to throw myself into the mail, and the next evening joined +Celeste and the general, to whom I communicated the intelligence, and +requested advice how to proceed. + +Lord Belmore called the next morning, and the general consulted him. His +lordship took great interest in my concerns, and, previous to any +further steps, advised me to step into his carriage, and allow him to +relate my case to the First Lord of the Admiralty. This was done +immediately; and, as I had now an opportunity of speaking freely to his +lordship, I explained to him the conduct of Captain Hawkins, and his +connection with my uncle; also the reason of my uncle's persecution. His +lordship, finding me under such powerful protection as Lord Belmore's, +and having an eye to my future claims, which my uncle's conduct gave him +reason to suppose were well founded, was extremely gracious, and said +that I should hear from him in a day or two. He kept his word, and, on +the third day after my interview, I received a note, announcing my +promotion to the rank of commander. I was delighted with this good +fortune, as was General O'Brien and Celeste. + +When at the Admiralty, I inquired about O'Brien, and found that he was +expected home every day. He had gained great reputation in the East +Indies, was chief in command at the taking of some of the islands, and, +it was said, was to be created a baronet for his services. Everything +wore a favourable aspect, excepting the disappearance of my sister. This +was a weight on my mind I could not remove. + +But I have forgotten to inform the reader by what means General O'Brien +and Celeste arrived so opportunely in England. Martinique had been +captured by our forces about six months before, and the whole of the +garrison surrendered as prisoners of war. General O'Brien was sent home, +and allowed to be on parole; although born a Frenchman, he had very high +connections in Ireland, of whom Lord Belmore was one. When they arrived, +they had made every inquiry for me without success; they knew that I had +been tried by a court-martial, and dismissed my ship, but after that, no +clue could be found for my discovery. + +Celeste, who was fearful that some dreadful accident had occurred to me, +had suffered very much in health; and General O'Brien, perceiving how +much his daughter's happiness depended upon her attachment for me, had +made up his mind that if I were found we should be united. I hardly need +say how delighted he was when he discovered me, though in a situation so +little to be envied. + +The story of my incarceration, of the action to be brought against my +uncle, and the reports of foul play relative to the succession, had in +the meantime been widely circulated among the nobility; and I found that +every attention was paid me, and I was repeatedly invited out as an +object of curiosity and speculation. The loss of my sister also was a +subject of much interest, and many people, from goodwill, made every +inquiry to discover her. I had returned one day from the solicitor's, +who had advertised for her in the newspapers without success, when I +found a letter for me on the table, in an Admiralty enclosure. I opened +it--the enclosure was one from O'Brien, who had just cast anchor at +Spithead, and who had requested that the letter should be forwarded to +me, if any one could tell my address. I tore it open. + + "My dear Peter,--Where are, and what has become of, you? I have + received no letters for these two years, and I have fretted myself to + death. I received your letter about the rascally court-martial; but + perhaps you have not heard that the little scoundrel is dead. Yes, + Peter; he brought your letter out in his own ship, and that was his + death-warrant. I met him at a private party. He brought up your name-- + I allowed him to abuse you, and then told him he was a liar and a + scoundrel; upon which he challenged me, very much against his will; + but the affront was so public, that he couldn't help himself. Upon + which I shot him, with all the good-will in the world, and could he + have jumped up again twenty times, like Jack-in-the-Box, I would have + shot him every time. The dirty scoundrel! but there's an end of him. + Nobody pitied him, for every one hated him; and the admiral only + looked grave, and then was very much obliged to me for giving him a + vacancy for his nephew. By-the-bye, from some unknown hand, but I + presume from the officers of his ship, I received a packet of + correspondence between him and your worthy uncle, which is about as + elegant a piece of rascality as ever was carried on between two + scoundrels; but that's not all, Peter. I've got a young woman for you + who will make your heart glad--not Mademoiselle Celeste, for I don't + know where she is--but the wet-nurse who went out to India. Her + husband was sent home as an invalid, and she was allowed her passage + home with him in my frigate. Finding that he belonged to the regiment, + I talked to him about one O'Sullivan, who married in Ireland, and + mentioned the girl's name, and when he discovered that he was a + countryman of mine he told me that his real name was O'Sullivan, sure + enough, but that he had always served as O'Connell, and that his wife + on board was the young woman in question. Upon which I sent to speak + to her, and telling her that I knew all about it, and mentioning the + names of Ella Flanagan and her mother, who had given me the + information, she was quite astonished; and when I asked her what had + become of the child which she took in place of her own, she told me + that it had been drowned at Plymouth, and that her husband was saved + at the same time by a young officer, 'whose name I have here,' says + she; and then she pulled out of her neck your card, with Peter Simple + on it. 'Now,' says I, 'do you know, good woman, that in helping on the + rascally exchange of children, you ruin that very young man who saved + your husband, for you deprive him of his title and property?" She + stared like a stuck pig, when I said so, and then cursed and blamed + herself, and declared she'd right you as soon as we came home; and + most anxious she is still to do so, for she loves the very name of + you; so you see, Peter, a good action has its reward sometimes in this + world, and a bad action also, seeing as how I've shot that confounded + villain who dared to ill-use you. I have plenty more to say to you, + Peter; but I don't like writing what, perhaps, may never be read, so + I'll wait till I hear from you; and then, as soon as I get through my + business, we will set to and trounce that scoundrel of an uncle. I + have twenty thousand pounds jammed together in the Consolidated, + besides the Spice Islands, which will be a pretty penny; and every + farthing of it shall go to right you, Peter, and make a lord of you, + as I promised you often that you should be; and if you win you shall + pay, and if you don't then d--n the luck and d--n the money too. I beg + you will offer my best regards to Miss Ellen, and say how happy I + shall be to hear that she is well; but it has always been on my mind, + Peter, that your father did not leave too much behind him, and I wish + to know how you both get on. I left you a _carte blanche_ at my + agent's, and I only hope that you have taken advantage of it, if + required; if not, you're not the Peter that I left behind me. So now, + farewell, and don't forget to answer my letter in no time. Ever yours, + + "Terence O'Brien." + +This was indeed joyful intelligence. I handed the letter to General +O'Brien, who read it, Celeste hanging over his shoulder, and perusing it +at the same time. + +"This is well," said the General. "Peter, I wish you joy, and Celeste, I +ought to wish you joy also at your future prospects. It will indeed be a +gratification if ever I hail you as Lady Privilege." + +"Celeste," said I, "you did not reject me when I was pennyless, and in +disgrace. O my poor sister Ellen! If I could but find you, how happy +should I be!" + +I sat down to write to O'Brien, acquainting him with all that had +occurred, and the loss of my dear sister. The day after the receipt of +my letter, O'Brien burst into the room. After the first moments of +congratulation were past, he said, "My heart's broke, Peter, about your +sister Ellen: find her I must. I shall give up my ship, for I'll never +give up the search as long as I live. I must find her." + +"Do, pray, my dear O'Brien, and I only wish--" + +"Wish what, Peter? shall I tell you what I wish?--that if I find her, +you'll give her to me for my trouble." + +"As far as I am concerned, O'Brien, nothing would give me greater +pleasure; but God knows to what wretchedness and want may have compelled +her." + +"Shame on you, Peter, to think so of your sister. I pledge my honour for +her. Poor, miserable, and unhappy she may be--but no--no, Peter. You +don't know--you don't love her as I do, if you can allow such thoughts +to enter your mind." + +This conversation took place at the window: we then turned round to +General O'Brien and Celeste. + +"Captain O'Brien," said the general. + +"Sir Terence O'Brien, if you please, general. His Majesty has given me a +handle to my name." + +"I congratulate you, Sir Terence," said the general, shaking him by the +hand: "what I was about to say is, that I hope you will take up your +quarters at this hotel, and we will all live together. I trust that we +shall soon find Ellen: in the meanwhile we have no time to lose, in our +exposure of Lord Privilege. Is the woman in town?" + +"Yes, and under lock and key; but the devil a fear of her. Millions +would not bribe her to wrong him who risked his life for her husband. +She's Irish, general, to the back bone. Nevertheless, Peter, we must go +to our solicitor, to give the intelligence, that he may take the +necessary steps." + +For three weeks, O'Brien was diligent in his search for Ellen, employing +every description of emissary without success. In the meanwhile, the +general and I were prosecuting our cause against Lord Privilege. One +morning, Lord Belmore called upon us, and asked the general if we would +accompany him to the theatre, to see two celebrated pieces performed. In +the latter, which was a musical farce, a new performer was to come out, +of whom report spoke highly. Celeste consented, and after an early +dinner, we joined his lordship in his private box, which was above the +stage, on the first tier. The first piece was played, and Celeste, who +had never seen the performance of Young, was delighted. The curtain then +drew up for the second piece. In the second act, the new performer, a +Miss Henderson, was led by the manager on the stage; she was apparently +much frightened and excited, but three rounds of applause gave her +courage, and she proceeded. At the very first notes of her voice I was +startled, and O'Brien, who was behind, threw himself forward to look at +her; but as we were almost directly above, and her head was turned the +other way, we could not distinguish her features. As she proceeded in +her song, she gained courage, and her face was turned towards us, and +she cast her eyes up--saw me--the recognition was mutual--I held out my +arm, but could not speak--she staggered, and fell down in a swoon. + +"'Tis Ellen!" cried O'Brien, rushing past me; and making one spring down +on the stage, he carried her off, before any other person could come to +her assistance. I followed him, and found him with Ellen still in his +arms, and the actresses assisting in her recovery. The manager came +forward to apologize, stating that the young lady was too ill to +proceed, and the audience, who had witnessed the behaviour of O'Brien +and myself, were satisfied with the romance in real life which had been +exhibited. Her part was read by another, but the piece was little +attended to, every one trying to find out the occasion of this uncommon +occurrence. In the meantime, Ellen was put into a hackney-coach by +O'Brien and me, and we drove to the hotel, where we were soon joined by +the general and Celeste. + + + + +Chapter LXV + +It never rains but it pours, whether it be good or bad news--I succeed +in everything, and to everything, my wife, my title, and estate--And +"All's well that ends well." + + +I shall pass over the scenes which followed, and give my sister's +history in her own words. + +"I wrote to you, my dear Peter, to tell you that I considered it my duty +to pay all my father's debts with your money, and that there were but +sixty pounds left when every claim had been satisfied; and I requested +you to come to me as soon as you could, that I might have your counsel +and assistance as to my future arrangements." + +"I received your letter, Ellen, and was hastening to you, when--but no +matter, I will tell my story afterwards." + +"Day after day I waited with anxiety for a letter, and then wrote to the +officers of the ship to know if any accident had occurred. I received an +answer from the surgeon, informing me that you had quitted Portsmouth to +join me, and had not since been heard of. You may imagine my distress at +this communication, as I did not doubt but that something dreadful had +occurred, as I knew, too well, that nothing would have detained you from +me at such a time. The new vicar appointed had come down to look over +the house, and to make arrangements for bringing in his family. The +furniture he had previously agreed to take at a valuation, and the sum +had been appropriated in liquidation of your father's debts. I had +already been permitted to remain longer than was usual, and had no +alternative but to quit, which I did not do until the last moment. I +could not leave my address, for I knew not where I was to go. I took my +place in the coach, and arrived in London. My first object was to secure +the means of livelihood, by offering myself as a governess; but I found +great difficulties from not being able to procure a good reference, and +from not having already served in that capacity. At last I was taken +into a family to bring up three little girls; but I soon found out how +little chance I had of comfort. The lady had objected to me as too +good-looking--for this same reason the gentleman insisted upon my being +engaged. + +"Thus was I a source of disunion; the lady treated me with harshness, +and the gentleman with too much attention. At last her ill-treatment and +his persecution, were both so intolerable, that I gave notice that I +should leave my situation." + +"I beg pardon, Miss Ellen, but you will oblige me with the name and +residence of that gentleman?" said O'Brien. + +"Indeed, Ellen, do no such thing," replied I; "continue your story." + +"I could not obtain another situation as governess; for, as I always +stated where I had been, and did not choose to give the precise reason +for quitting, merely stating that I was not comfortable, whenever the +lady was called upon for my character, she invariably spoke of me so as +to prevent my obtaining a situation. At last I was engaged as teacher to +a school. I had better have taken a situation as housemaid. I was +expected to be everywhere, to do everything; was up at daylight, and +never in bed till past midnight; fared very badly, and was equally ill +paid; but still it was honest employment, and I remained there for more +than a year; but, though as economical as possible, my salary would not +maintain me in clothes and washing, which was all I required. There was +a master of elocution, who came every week, and whose wife was the +teacher of music. They took a great liking to me, and pointed out how +much better I should be off if I could succeed on the stage, of which +they had no doubt. For months I refused, hoping still to have some +tidings of you; but at last my drudgery became so insupportable, and my +means so decreased, that I unwillingly consented. It was then nineteen +months since I had heard of you, and I mourned you as dead. I had no +relations except my uncle, and I was unknown even to him. I quitted the +situation, and took up my abode with the teacher of elocution and his +wife, who treated me with every kindness, and prepared me for my new +career. Neither at the school, which was three miles from London, nor at +my new residence, which was over Westminster-bridge, did I ever see a +newspaper. It was no wonder, therefore, that I did not know of your +advertisements. After three months' preparation I was recommended and +introduced to the manager by my kind friends, and accepted. You know the +rest." + +"Well, Miss Ellen, if any one ever tells you that you were on the stage, +at all events you may reply that you wasn't there long." + +"I trust not long enough to be recognised," replied she. "I recollect +how often I have expressed my disgust at those who would thus consent to +exhibit themselves; but circumstances strangely alter our feelings. I +do, however, trust that I should have been respectable, even as an +actress." + +"That you would, Miss Ellen," replied O'Brien. "What did I tell you, +Peter?" + +"You pledged your honour that nothing would induce Ellen to disgrace her +family, I recollect, O'Brien." + +"Thank you, Sir Terence, for your good opinion," replied Ellen. + +My sister had been with us about three days, during which I had informed +her of all that had taken place, when, one evening, finding myself alone +with her, I candidly stated to her what were O'Brien's feelings towards +her, and pleaded his cause with all the earnestness in my power. + +"My dear brother," she replied, "I have always admired Captain O'Brien's +character, and always have felt grateful to him for his kindness and +attachment to you; but I cannot say that I love him. I have never +thought about him except as one to whom we are both much indebted." + +"But do you mean to say that you could not love him?" + +"No, I do not; and I will do all I can, Peter--I will try. I never will, +if possible, make him unhappy who has been so kind to you." + +"Depend upon it, Ellen, that with your knowledge of O'Brien, and with +feelings of gratitude to him, you will soon love him, if once you accept +him as a suitor. May I tell him--" + +"You may tell him that he may plead his own cause, my dear brother; and, +at all events, I will listen to no other until he has had fair play; but +recollect that at present I only _like_ him--like him _very much,_ it is +true; but still I only _like_ him." + +I was quite satisfied with my success, and so was O'Brien, when I told +him. "By the powers, Peter, she's an angel, and I can't expect her to +love an inferior being like myself; but if she'll only like me well +enough to marry me, I'll trust to after-marriage for the rest. Love +comes with the children, Peter. Well, but you need not say that to her-- +divil a bit--they shall come upon her like old age, without her +perceiving it." + +O'Brien having thus obtained permission, certainly lost no time in +taking advantage of it. Celeste and I were more fondly attached every +day. The solicitor declared my case so good, that he could raise fifty +thousand pounds upon it. In short, all our causes were prosperous, when +an event occurred, the details of which, of course, I did not obtain +until some time afterwards, but which I shall narrate here. + +My uncle was very much alarmed when he discovered that I had been +released from Bedlam--still more so, when he had notice given him of a +suit, relative to the succession to the title. His emissaries had +discovered that the wet-nurse had been brought home in O'Brien's +frigate, and was kept so close that they could not communicate with her. +He now felt that all his schemes would prove abortive. His legal adviser +was with him, and they had been walking in the garden, talking over the +contingencies, when they stopped close to the drawing-room windows of +the mansion at Eagle Park. + +"But, sir," observed the lawyer, "if you will not confide in me, I +cannot act for your benefit. You still assert that nothing of the kind +has taken place?" + +"I do," replied his lordship. "It is a foul invention." + +"Then, my lord, may I ask you why you considered it advisable to +imprison Mr Simple in Bedlam?" + +"Because I hate him," retorted his lordship,--"detest him." + +"And for what reason, my lord? his character is unimpeached, and he is +your near relative." + +"I tell you, sir, that I hate him--would that he were now lying dead at +my feet!" + +Hardly were the words out of my uncle's mouth, when a whizzing was heard +for a second, and then something fell down within a foot of where they +stood, with a heavy crash. They started--turned round--the adopted heir +lay lifeless at their feet, and their legs were bespattered with his +blood and his brains. The poor boy, seeing his lordship below, had +leaned out of one of the upper windows to call to him, but lost his +balance, and had fallen head foremost upon the wide stone pavement which +surrounded the mansion. For a few seconds the lawyer and my uncle looked +upon each other with horror. + +"A judgment!--a judgment!" cried the lawyer, looking at his client. My +uncle covered his face with his hands, and fell. Assistance now came +out, but there was more than one to help up. The violence of his emotion +had brought on an apoplectic fit, and my uncle, although he breathed, +never spoke again. + +It was in consequence of this tragical event, of which we did not know +the particulars until afterwards, that the next morning my solicitor +called upon me, and put a letter into my hand, saying, "Allow me to +congratulate your lordship." We were all at breakfast at the time, and +the general, O'Brien, and myself jumped up, all in such astonishment at +this unexpected title being so soon conferred upon me, that we had a +heavy bill for damages to pay; and had not Ellen caught the tea-urn, as +it was tipping over, there would, in all probability, have been a +doctor's bill into the bargain. The letter was eagerly read--it was from +my uncle's legal adviser, who had witnessed the catastrophe, informing +me, that all dispute as to the succession was at an end by the tragical +event that had taken place, and that he had put seals upon everything, +awaiting my arrival or instructions. The solicitor, as he presented the +letter, said that he would take his leave, and call again in an hour or +two, when I was more composed. My first movement, when I had read the +letter aloud, was to throw my arms round Celeste, and embrace her--and +O'Brien, taking the hint, did the same to Ellen, and was excused in +consideration of circumstances; but, as soon as she could disengage +herself, her arms were entwined round my neck, while Celeste was hanging +on her father's. Having disposed of the ladies, the gentlemen now shook +hands, and though we had not all appetites to finish our breakfasts, +never was there a happier quintette. + +In about an hour my solicitor returned, and congratulated me, and +immediately set about the necessary preparations. I desired him to go +down immediately to Eagle Park, attend to the funeral of my uncle, and +the poor little boy who had paid so dearly for his intended advancement, +and take charge from my uncle's legal adviser, who remained in the +house. The "dreadful accident in high life" found its way into the +papers of the day, and before dinner time a pile of visiting cards was +poured in, which covered the table. The next day a letter arrived from +the First Lord, announcing that he had made out my commission as +post-captain, and trusted that I would allow him the pleasure of +presenting it himself at his dinner hour, at half-past seven. Very much +obliged to him, the "fool of the family" might have waited a long while +for it. + +While I was reading this letter, the waiter came up to say that a young +woman below wanted to speak to me. I desired her to be shown up. As soon +as she came in, she burst into tears, knelt down, and kissed my hand. + +"Sure, it's you--oh! yes--it's you that saved my poor husband when I was +assisting to your ruin. And an't I punished for my wicked doings--an't +my poor boy dead?" + +She said no more, but remained on her knees, sobbing bitterly. Of +course, the reader recognises in her the wet-nurse who had exchanged her +child. I raised her up, and desired her to apply to my solicitor to pay +her expenses, and leave her address. + +"But do you forgive me, Mr Simple? It's not that I have forgiven +myself." + +"I do forgive you with all my heart, my good woman. You have been +punished enough." + +"I have, indeed," replied she, sobbing; "but don't I deserve it all, and +more too? God's blessing, and all the saints' too, upon your head, for +your kind forgiveness, anyhow. My heart is lighter." And she quitted the +room. + +She had scarcely quitted the hotel, when the waiter came up again. +"Another lady, my lord, wishes to speak with you, but she won't give her +name." + +"Really, my lord, you seem to have an extensive female acquaintance," +said the general. + +"At all events, I am not aware of any that I need be ashamed of. Show +the lady up, waiter." + +In a moment entered a fat, unwieldly little mortal, very warm from +walking; she sat down in a chair, threw back her tippet, and then +exclaimed, "Lord bless you, how you have grown! Gemini, if I can hardly +believe my eyes; and I declare he don't know me." + +"I really cannot exactly recollect where I had the pleasure of seeing +you before, madam." + +"Well, that's what I said to Jemima, when I went down in the kitchen. +'Jemima,' says I, 'I wonder if little Peter Simple will know me.' And +Jemima says, 'I think he would the parrot, marm.'" + +"Mrs Handycock, I believe," said I, recollecting Jemima and the parrot, +although, from a little thin woman, she had grown so fat as not to be +recognisable. + +"Oh! so you've found me out, Mr Simple--my lord, I ought to say. Well, I +need not ask after your grandfather now, for I know he's dead; but as I +was coming this way for orders, I thought I would just step in and see +how you looked." + +"I trust Mr Handycock is well, ma'am. Pray is he a bull or a bear?" + +"Lord bless you, Mr Simple, my lord, I should say, he's been neither +bull nor bear for this three years. He was obliged to _waddle_. If I +didn't know much about bulls and bears, I know very well what a _lame +duck_ is, to my cost. We're off the Stock Exchange, and Mr Handycock is +set up as a coal merchant." + +"Indeed!" + +"Yes; that is, we have no coals, but we take orders, and have +half-a-crown a chaldron for our trouble. As Mr Handycock says, it's a +very good business, if you only had enough of it. Perhaps your lordship +may be able to give us an order. It's nothing out of your pocket, and +something into ours." + +"I shall be very happy, when I return again to town, Mrs Handycock. I +hope the parrot is quite well." + +"Oh! my lord, that's a sore subject; only think of Mr Handycock, when we +retired from the 'Change, taking my parrot one day and selling it for +five guineas, saying, five guineas were better than a nasty squalling +bird. To be sure, there was nothing for dinner that day; but, as Jemima +agreed with me, we'd rather have gone without a dinner for a month, than +have parted with Poll. Since we've looked up a little in the world, I +saved up five guineas, by hook or by crook, and tried to get Poll back +again, but the lady said she wouldn't take fifty guineas for him." + +Mrs Handycock then jumped from her chair, saying, "Good morning, my +lord; I'll leave one of Mr Handycock's cards. Jemima would be so glad to +see you." + +As she left the room, Celeste laughingly asked me whether I had any more +such acquaintances. I replied, that I believed not; but I must +acknowledge that Mrs Trotter was brought to my recollection, and I was +under some alarm, lest she should also come and pay me her respects. + +The next day I had another unexpected visit. We had just sat down to +dinner, when we heard a disturbance below; and, shortly after, the +general's French servant came up in great haste, saying that there was a +foreigner below, who wished to see me: and that he had been caning one +of the waiters of the hotel, for not paying him proper respect. + +"Who can that be?" thought I: and I went out of the door, and looked +over the banisters, as the noise continued. + +"You must not come here to beat Englishmen, I can tell you," roared one +of the waiters. "What do we care for your foreign counts?" + +"Sacre, canaille?" cried the other party, in a contemptuous voice, which +I well knew. + +"Ay, canal!--we'll duck you in the canal, if you don't mind." + +"You will!" said the stranger, who had hitherto spoken French. "Allow me +to observe--in the most delicate manner in the world--just to hint, that +you are a d----d trencher-scraping, napkin-carrying, shilling-seeking, +up-and-down-stairs son of a bitch--and take this for your impudence!" + +The noise of the cane was again heard; and I hastened downstairs, where +I found Count Shucksen thrashing two or three of the waiters without +mercy. At my appearance, the waiters, who were showing fight, retreated +to a short distance, out of reach of the cane. + +"My dear count," exclaimed I, "is it you?" + +"My dear Lord Privilege, will you excuse me? but these fellows are +saucy." + +"Then I'll have them discharged," replied I. "If a friend of mine, and +an officer of your rank and distinction, cannot come to see me without +insult, I will seek another hotel." + +This threat of mine, and the reception I gave the count, put all to +rights. The waiters sneaked off, and the master of the hotel apologised. +It appeared that they had desired him to wait in the coffee-room until +they could announce him, which had hurt the count's dignity. + +"We are just sitting down to dinner, count; will you join us?" + +"As soon as I have improved my toilet, my dear lord," replied he; "you +must perceive that I am off a journey." + +The master of the hotel bowed, and proceeded to show the count to a +dressing-room. When I returned upstairs--"What was the matter?" +inquired O'Brien. + +"Oh, nothing!--a little disturbance in consequence of a foreigner not +understanding English." + +In about five minutes the waiter opened the door, and announced Count +Shucksen. + +"Now, O'Brien, you'll be puzzled," said I; and in came the count. + +"My dear Lord Privilege," said he, coming up and taking me by the hand, +"let me not be the last to congratulate you upon your accession. I was +running up the channel in my frigate when a pilot-boat gave me a +newspaper, in which I saw your unexpected change of circumstances. I +made an excuse for dropping my anchor at Spithead this morning, and I +have come up post, to express how sincerely I participate in your good +fortune." Count Shucksen then politely saluted the ladies and the +general, and turned round to O'Brien, who had been staring at him with +astonishment. "Count Shucksen, allow me to introduce Sir Terence +O'Brien." + +"By the piper that played before Moses, but it's a puzzle," said +O'Brien. "Blood and thunder! if it a'n't Chucks!--my dear fellow, when +did you rise from your grave?" + +"Fortunately," replied the count, as they shook each other's hands for +some time, "I never went into it, Sir Terence. But now, with your +permission, my lord, I'll take some food, as I really am not a little +hungry. After dinner, Captain O'Brien, you shall hear my history." + +His secret was confided to the whole party, upon my pledging myself for +their keeping it locked up in their own breasts, which was a bold thing +on my part, considering that two of them were ladies. The count stayed +with us for some time, and was introduced everywhere. It was impossible +to discover that he had not been bred up in a court, his manners were so +good. He was a great favourite with the ladies; and his moustachios, bad +French, and waltzing--an accomplishment he had picked up in Sweden--were +quite the vogue. All the ladies were sorry when the Swedish count +announced his departure by a P.P.C. + +Before I left town I called upon the First Lord of the Admiralty, and +procured for Swinburne a first-rate building--that is to say, ordered to +be built. This he had often said he wished, as he was tired of the sea, +after a service of forty-five years. Subsequently I obtained leave of +absence for him every year, and he used to make himself very happy at +Eagle Park. Most of his time was, however, passed on the lake, either +fishing or rowing about; telling long stories to all who would join him +in his water excursions. + +A fortnight after my assuming my title, we set off for Eagle Park, and +Celeste consented to my entreaties that the wedding should take place +that day month. Upon this hint O'Brien spake; and, to oblige _me_, Ellen +consented that we should be united on the same day. + +O'Brien wrote to Father M'Grath; but the letter was returned by post, +with "_dead_" marked upon the outside. O'Brien then wrote to one of his +sisters, who informed him that Father M'Grath would cross the bog one +evening when he had taken a very large proportion of whisky; and that he +was seen out of the right path, and had never been heard of afterwards. + +On the day appointed we were all united, and both unions have been +attended with as much happiness as this world can afford. Both O'Brien +and I are blessed with children, which, as O'Brien observed, have come +upon us like old age, until we now can muster a large Christmas party in +the two families. The general's head is white, and he sits and smiles, +happy in his daughter's happiness, and in the gambols of his +grandchildren. + +Such, reader, is the history of Peter Simple, Viscount Privilege, no +longer the fool, but the head of the family, who now bids you farewell. + +THE END. + + + + + + + + +The Three Cutters + + + + +Chapter I + +CUTTER THE FIRST + + +Reader, have you ever been at Plymouth? If you have, your eye must have +dwelt with ecstasy upon the beautiful property of the Earl of Mount +Edgcumbe: if you have not been at Plymouth, the sooner that you go +there, the better. At Mount Edgcumbe you will behold the finest timber +in existence, towering up to the summits of the hills, and feathering +down to the shingle on the beach. And from this lovely spot you will +witness one of the most splendid panoramas in the world. You will see--I +hardly know what you will not see--you will see Ram Head, and Cawsand +Bay; and then you will see the Breakwater, and Drake's Island, and the +Devil's Bridge below you; and the town of Plymouth and its +fortifications, and the Hoe; and then you will come to the Devil's +Point, round which the tide runs devilish strong; and then you will see +the New Victualling Office,--about which Sir James Gordon used to stump +all day, and take a pinch of snuff from every man who carried a box, +which all were delighted to give, and he was delighted to receive, +proving how much pleasure may be communicated merely by a pinch of +snuff--and then you will see Mount Wise and Mutton Cove; the town of +Devonport, with its magnificent dockyard and arsenals, North Corner, and +the way which leads to Saltash. And you will see ships building and +ships in ordinary; and ships repairing and ships fitting; and hulks and +convict ships, and the guardship; ships ready to sail and ships under +sail; besides lighters, men-of-war's boats, dockyard-boats, bumboats, +and shore-boats. In short, there is a great deal to see at Plymouth +besides the sea itself: but what I particularly wish now, is, that you +will stand at the battery of Mount Edgecumbe and look into Barn Pool +below you, and there you will see, lying at single anchor, a cutter; and +you may also see, by her pendant and ensign, that she is a yacht. + +Of all the amusements entered into by the nobility and gentry of our +island there is not one so manly, so exciting, so patriotic, or so +national, as yacht-sailing. It is peculiar to England, not only from our +insular position and our fine harbours, but because it requires a +certain degree of energy and a certain amount of income rarely to be +found elsewhere. It has been wisely fostered by our sovereigns, who have +felt that the security of the kingdom is increased by every man being +more or less a sailor, or connected with the nautical profession. It is +an amusement of the greatest importance to the country; as it has much +improved our ship-building and our ship-fitting, while it affords +employment to our seamen and shipwrights. But if I were to say all that +I could say in praise of yachts, I should never advance with my +narrative. I shall therefore drink a bumper to the health of Admiral +Lord Yarborough and the Yacht Club, and proceed. + +You observe that this yacht is cutter-rigged, and that she sits +gracefully on the smooth water. She is just heaving up her anchor; her +foresail is loose, all ready to cast her--in a few minutes she will be +under weigh. You see that there are some ladies sitting at the taffrail; +and there are five haunches of venison hanging over the stern. Of all +amusements, give me yachting. But we must go on board. The deck, you +observe, is of narrow deal planks as white as snow; the guns are of +polished brass; the bitts and binnacles of mahogany; she is painted with +taste; and all the mouldings are gilded. There is nothing wanting; and +yet how clear and unencumbered are her decks! Let us go below. This is +the ladies' cabin: can anything be more tasteful or elegant? is it not +luxurious? and, although so small, does not its very confined space +astonish you, when you view so many comforts so beautifully arranged? +This is the dining-room, and where the gentlemen repair. What can be +more complete or _recherché_? and just peep into their state-rooms and +bed-places. Here is the steward's room and the beaufet: the steward is +squeezing lemons for the punch, and there is the champagne in ice; and +by the side of the pail the long-corks are ranged up, all ready. Now, +let us go forwards: here are the men's berths, not confined as in a +man-of-war. No! luxury starts from abaft, and is not wholly lost, even +at the fore-peak. This is the kitchen: is it not admirably arranged? +What a _multum in parvo_! And how delightful are the fumes of the +turtle-soup! At sea we do meet with rough weather at times; but, for +roughing it out, give me a _yacht_. Now that I have shown you round the +vessel, I must introduce the parties on board. + +You observe that florid, handsome man in white trousers and blue jacket, +who has a telescope in one hand, and is sipping a glass of brandy and +water which he has just taken off the skylight. That is the owner of the +vessel, and a member of the Yacht Club. It is Lord B--: he looks like a +sailor, and he does not much belie his looks; yet I have seen him in his +robes of state at the opening of the House of Lords. The one near to him +is Mr Stewart, a lieutenant in the navy. He holds on by the rigging with +one hand, because, having been actively employed all his life, he does +not know what to do with hands which have nothing in them. He is +_protégé_ of Lord B., and is now on board as sailing-master of the +yacht. + +That handsome, well-built man who is standing by the binnacle, is a Mr +Hautaine. He served six years as midshipman in the navy, and did not +like it. He then served six years in a cavalry regiment, and did not +like it. He then married, and in a much shorter probation, found that he +did not like that. But he is very fond of yachts and other men's wives, +if he does not like his own; and wherever he goes, he is welcome. + +That young man with an embroidered silk waistcoat and white gloves, +bending to talk to one of the ladies, is a Mr Vaughan. He is to be seen +at Almack's, at Crockford's, and everywhere else. Everybody knows him, +and he knows everybody. He is a little in debt, and yachting is +convenient. + +The one who sits by the lady is a relation of Lord B.; you see at once +what he is. He apes the sailor; he has not shaved, because sailors have +no time to shave every day; he has not changed his linen, because +sailors cannot change every day. He has a cigar in his mouth, which +makes him half sick and annoys his company. He talks of the pleasure of +a rough sea, which will drive all the ladies below--and then they will +not perceive that he is more sick than themselves. He has the misfortune +to be born to a large estate, and to be a _fool_. His name is Ossulton. + +The last of the gentlemen on board whom I have to introduce, is Mr +Seagrove. He is slightly made, with marked features full of +intelligence. He has been brought up to the bar; and has every +qualification but application. He has never had a brief, nor has he a +chance of one. He is the fiddler of the company, and he has locked up +his chambers, and come, by invitation of his lordship, to play on board +of his yacht. + +I have yet to describe the ladies--perhaps I should have commenced with +them--I must excuse myself upon the principle of reserving the best to +the last. All puppet-showmen do so: and what is this but the first scene +in my puppet-show? + +We will describe them according to seniority. That tall, thin, +cross-looking lady of forty-five is a spinster, and sister to Lord B. +She has been persuaded very much against her will to come on board; but +her notions of propriety would not permit her niece to embark under the +protection of _only_ her father. She is frightened at everything: if a +rope is thrown down on the deck, up she starts, and cries, "Oh!" if on +the deck, she thinks the water is rushing in below; if down below, and +there is a noise, she is convinced there is danger; and, if it be +perfectly still, she is sure there is something wrong. She fidgets +herself and everybody, and is quite a nuisance with her pride and +ill-humour; but she has strict notions of propriety, and sacrifices +herself as a martyr. She is the Hon. Miss Ossulton. + +The lady who, when she smiles, shows so many dimples in her pretty oval +face, is a young widow of the name of Lascelles. She married an old man +to please her father and mother, which was very dutiful on her part. She +was rewarded by finding herself a widow with a large fortune. Having +married the first time to please her parents, she intends now to marry +to please herself; but she is very young, and is in no hurry. + +The young lady with such a sweet expression of countenance is the Hon. +Miss Cecilia Ossulton. She is lively, witty, and has no fear in her +composition; but she is very young yet, not more than seventeen--and +nobody knows what she really is--she does not know herself. These are +the parties who meet in the cabin of the yacht. The crew consists of ten +fine seamen, the steward, and the cook. There is also Lord B.'s valet, +Mr Ossulton's gentleman, and the lady's maid of Miss Ossulton. There not +being accommodation for them, the other servants have been left on +shore. + +The yacht is now under weigh, and her sails are all set. She is running +between Drake's Island and the main. Dinner has been announced. As the +reader has learnt something about the preparations, I leave him to judge +whether it be not very pleasant to sit down to dinner in a yacht. The +air has given everybody an appetite; and it was not until the cloth was +removed that the conversation became general. + +"Mr Seagrove," said his lordship, "you very nearly lost your passage; I +expected you last Thursday." + +"I am sorry, my lord, that business prevented my sooner attending to +your lordship's kind summons." + +"Come, Seagrove, don't be nonsensical," said Hautaine; "you told me +yourself, the other evening, when you were talkative, that you had never +had a brief in your life." + +"And a very fortunate circumstance," replied Seagrove; "for if I had had +a brief I should not have known what to have done with it. It is not my +fault; I am fit for nothing but a commissioner. But still I had +business, and very important business, too; I was summoned by Ponsonby +to go with him to Tattersall's, to give my opinion about a horse he +wishes to purchase, and then to attend him to Forest Wild to plead his +cause with his uncle." + +"It appears, then, that you were retained," replied Lord B.; "may I ask +you whether your friend gained his cause?" + +"No, my lord, he lost his cause, but he gained a suit." + +"Expound your riddle, sir," said Cecilia Ossulton. + +"The fact is, that old Ponsonby is very anxious that William should +marry Miss Percival, whose estates join on to Forest Wild. Now, my +friend William is about as fond of marriage as I am of law, and thereby +issue was joined." + +"But why were you to be called in?" inquired Mrs Lascelles. + +"Because, madam, as Ponsonby never buys a horse without consulting me--" + +"I cannot see the analogy, sir," observed Miss Ossulton, senior, +bridling up. + +"Pardon me, madam: the fact is," continued Seagrove, "that, as I always +have to back Ponsonby's horses, he thought it right that, in this +instance, I should back him: he required special pleading, but his uncle +tried him for the capital offence, and he was not allowed counsel. As +soon as we arrived, and I had bowed myself into the room, Mr Ponsonby +bowed me out again--which would have been infinitely more jarring to my +feelings, had not the door been left a-jar." + +"Do anything but pun, Seagrove," interrupted Hautaine. + +"Well, then, I will take a glass of wine." + +"Do so," said his lordship; "but, recollect, the whole company are +impatient for your story." + +"I can assure you, my lord, that it was equal to any scene in a comedy." + +Now be it observed that Mr Seagrove had a great deal of comic talent; he +was an excellent mimic, and could alter his voice almost as he pleased. +It was a custom of his to act a scene as between other people, and he +performed it remarkably well. Whenever he said that anything he was +going to narrate was "as good as a comedy," it was generally understood +by those who were acquainted with him, that he was to be asked so to do. +Cecilia Ossulton therefore immediately said, "Pray act it, Mr Seagrove." + +Upon which, Mr Seagrove--premising that he had not only heard, but also +seen all that passed--changing his voice, and suiting the action to the +word, commenced. + +"It may," said he, "be called + + "FIVE THOUSAND ACRES IN A RING-FENCE." + +We shall not describe Mr Seagrove's motions; they must be inferred from +his words. + +"'It will, then, William,' observed Mr Ponsonby, stopping, and turning +to his nephew, after a rapid walk up and down the room with his hands +behind him under his coat, so as to allow the tails to drop their +perpendicular about three inches clear of his body, 'I may say, without +contradiction, be the finest property in the county--five thousand acres +in a ring-fence.' + +"'I dare say it will, uncle,' replied William, tapping his foot as he +lounged in a green morocco easy-chair; 'and so, because you have set +your fancy upon having these two estates enclosed together in a +ring-fence, you wish that I should also be enclosed in a _ring_-fence.' + +"'And a beautiful property it will be,' replied Mr Ponsonby. + +"'Which, uncle?--the estate, or the wife?' + +"'Both, nephew, both; and I expect your consent.' + +"'Uncle, I am not avaricious. Your present property is sufficient for +me. With your permission, instead of doubling the property, and doubling +myself, I will remain your sole heir, and single.' + +"'Observe, William, such an opportunity may not occur again for +centuries. We shall restore Forest Wild to its ancient boundaries. You +know it has been divided nearly two hundred years. We now have a +glorious, golden opportunity of re-uniting the two properties; and when +joined, the estate will be exactly what it was when granted to our +ancestors by Henry the Eighth, at the period of the Reformation. This +house must be pulled down, and the monastery left standing. Then we +shall have our own again, and the property without encumbrance.' + +"'Without encumbrance, uncle! You forget that there will be a wife.' + +"'And you forget that there will be five thousand acres in a +ring-fence.' + +"'Indeed, uncle, you ring it too often in my ears that I should forget +it; but much as I should like to be the happy possessor of such a +property, I do not feel inclined to be the happy possessor of Miss +Percival; and the more so, as I have never seen the property.' + +"'We will ride over it to-morrow, William." + +"'Ride over Miss Percival, uncle! That will not be very gallant. I will, +however, one of these days, ride over the property with you, which, as +well as Miss Percival, I have not as yet seen.' + +"'Then I can tell you, she is a very pretty property.' + +"'If she were not in a ring-fence.' + +"'In good heart, William. That is, I mean an excellent disposition.' + +"'Valuable in matrimony.' + +"'And well tilled--I should say well-educated, by her thee maiden aunts, +who are the patterns of propriety.' + +"'Does any one follow the fashion?' + +"'In a high state of cultivation; that is, her mind highly cultivated, +and according to the last new system--what is it?' + +"'A four-course shift, I presume,' replied William, laughing; 'that is, +dancing, singing, music, and drawing.' + +"'And only seventeen! Capital soil, promising good crops. What would you +have more?' + +"'A very pretty estate, uncle, if it were not the estate of matrimony. I +am sorry, very sorry, to disappoint you; but I must decline taking a +lease of it for life.' + +"'Then, sir, allow me to hint to you that in my testament you are only +tenant-at-will. I consider it a duty that I owe to the family, that the +estate should be re-united. That can only be done by one of our family +marrying Miss Percival; and, as you will not, I shall now write to your +cousin James, and if he accept my proposal, shall make _him_ my heir. +Probably he will more fully appreciate the advantages of five thousand +acres in a ring-fence.' + +"And Mr Ponsonby directed his steps towards the door. + +"'Stop, my dear uncle,' cried William, rising up from his easy-chair; +'we do not quite understand one another. It is very true that I would +prefer half the property and remaining single to the two estates and the +estate of marriage; but, at the same time I did not tell you that I +would prefer beggary to a wife and five thousand acres in a ring-fence. +I know you to be a man of your word;--I accept your proposal, and you +need not put my cousin James to the expense of postage.' + +"'Very good, William; I require no more: and as I know you to be a man +of your word, I shall consider this match as settled. It was on this +account only that I sent for you, and now you may go back again as soon +as you please. I will let you know when all is ready.' + +"'I must be at Tattersall's on Monday, uncle; there is a horse I must +have for next season. Pray, uncle, may I ask when you are likely to want +me?' + +"'Let me see--this is May--about July, I should think.' + +"'July, uncle! Spare me--I cannot marry in the dog-days. No, hang it, +not July.' + +"'Well, William, perhaps, as you must come down once or twice to see the +property--Miss Percival, I should say--it may be too soon--suppose we +put it off till October.' + +"'October--I shall be down at Melton.' + +"'Pray, sir, may I then inquire what portion of the year is not, with +you, _dog_-days?' + +"'Why, uncle, next April, now--I think that would do.' + +"'Next April. Eleven months, and a winter between. Suppose Miss Percival +was to take a cold, and die.' + +"'I should be excessively obliged to her,' thought William. + +"'No! no!' continued Mr Ponsonby: 'there is nothing certain in this +world, William.' + +"'Well, then, uncle, suppose we arrange it for the first _hard frost_.' + +"'We have had no hard frosts lately, William.--We may wait for years.-- +The sooner it is over the better.--Go back to town, buy your horse, and +then come down here--my dear William, to oblige your uncle--never mind +the dog-days.' + +"'Well, sir, if I am to make a sacrifice, it shall not be done by +halves; out of respect for you I will even marry in July, without any +regard to the thermometer.' + +"'You are a good boy, William.--Do you want a cheque?' + +"'I have had one to-day,' thought William, and was almost at fault. 'I +shall be most thankful, sir--they sell horse-flesh by the +ounce now-a-days.' + +"'And you pay in pounds.--There, William.' + +"'Thank you, sir, I'm all obedience; and I'll keep my word, even if +there should be a comet. I'll go and buy the horse, and then I shall be +ready to take the ring-fence as soon as you please.' + +"'Yes, and you'll get over it cleverly, I've no doubt.--Five thousand +acres, William, and--a pretty wife!' + +"'Have you any further commands, uncle?' said William, depositing the +cheque in his pocket-book. + +"'Now, my dear boy, are you going?' + +"'Yes, sir; I dine at the Clarendon.' + +"'Well, then, good-bye.--Make my compliments and excuses to your friend +Seagrove.--You will come on Tuesday or Wednesday.' + +"Thus was concluded the marriage between William Ponsonby and Emily +Percival, and the junction of the two estates, which formed together the +great desideratum,--_five thousand acres in a ring-fence_." + +Mr Seagrove finished, and he looked round for approbation. + +"Very good, indeed, Seagrove," said his lordship, "you must take a glass +of wine after that." + +"I would not give much for Miss Percival's chance of happiness," +observed the elder Miss Ossulton. + +"Of two evils choose the least, they say," observed Mr Hautaine. "Poor +Ponsonby could not help himself." + +"That's a very polite observation of yours, Mr Hautaine--I thank you in +the name of the sex," replied Cecilia Ossulton. + +"Nay, Miss Ossulton; would you like to marry a person whom you never +saw?" + +"Most certainly not; but when you mentioned the two evils, Mr Hautaine, +I appeal to your honour, did you not refer to marriage or beggary?" + +"I must confess it, Miss Ossulton; but it is hardly fair to call on my +honour to get me into a scrape." + +"I only wish that the offer had been made to me," observed Vaughan; "I +should not have hesitated as Ponsonby did." + +"Then I beg you will not think of proposing for me," said Mrs Lascelles, +laughing;--for Mr Vaughan had been excessively attentive. + +"It appears to me, Vaughan," observed Seagrove, "that you have slightly +committed yourself by that remark." + +Vaughan, who thought so too, replied: "Mrs Lascelles must be aware that +I was only joking." + +"Fie! Mr Vaughan," cried Cecilia Ossulton; "you know it came from your +heart." + +"My dear Cecilia," said the elder Miss Ossulton, "you forget yourself-- +what can you possibly know about gentlemen's hearts?" + +"The Bible says, 'that they are deceitful and desperately wicked,' +aunt." + +"And cannot we also quote the Bible against your sex, Miss Ossulton?" +replied Seagrove. + +"Yes, you could, perhaps, if any of you had ever read it," replied Miss +Ossulton, carelessly. + +"Upon my word, Cissy, you are throwing the gauntlet down to the +gentlemen," observed Lord B.; "but I shall throw my warder down, and not +permit this combat _à l'outrance_.--I perceive you drink no more wine, +gentlemen, we will take our coffee on deck." + +"We were just about to retire, my lord," observed the elder Miss +Ossulton, with great asperity: "I have been trying to catch the eye of +Mrs Lascelles for some time, but--" + +"I was looking another way, I presume," interrupted Mrs Lascelles, +smiling. + +"I am afraid that I am the unfortunate culprit," said Mr Seagrove. "I +was telling a little anecdote to Mrs Lascelles--" + +"Which, of course, from its being communicated in an undertone, was not +proper for all the company to hear," replied the elder Miss Ossulton; +"but if Mrs Lascelles is now ready--" continued she, bridling up, as she +rose from her chair. "At all events, I can hear the remainder of it on +deck," replied Mrs Lascelles. The ladies rose, and went into the cabin, +Cecilia and Mrs Lascelles exchanging very significant smiles, as they +followed the precise spinster, who did not choose that Mrs Lascelles +should take the lead, merely because she had once happened to have been +married.--The gentlemen also broke up, and went on deck. + +"We have a nice breeze now, my lord," observed Mr Stewart, who had +remained on deck, "and we lie right up Channel." + +"So much the better," replied his lordship; "we ought to have been +anchored at Cowes a week ago. They will all be there before us." + +"Tell Mr Simpson to bring me a light for my cigar," said Mr Ossulton to +one of the men. + +Mr Stewart went down to his dinner; the ladies and the coffee came on +deck; the breeze was fine, the weather (it was April) almost warm; and +the yacht, whose name was the _Arrow_, assisted by the tide, soon left +the Mewstone far astern. + + + + +Chapter II + +CUTTER THE SECOND + + +Reader, have you ever been at Portsmouth? If you have, you must have +been delighted with the view from the saluting battery; and, if you have +not, you had better go there as soon as you can. From the saluting +battery you may look up the harbour, and see much of what I have +described at Plymouth; the scenery is different; but similar arsenals +and dockyards, and an equal portion of our stupendous navy, are to be +found there.--And you will see Gosport on the other side of the harbour, +and Sally Port close to you; besides a great many other places, which, +from the saluting battery, you cannot see. And then there is Southsea +Beach to your left. Before you, Spithead, with the men-of-war, and the +Motherbank, crowded with merchant vessels;--and there is the buoy where +the _Royal George_ was wrecked, and where she still lies, the fish +swimming in and out of her cabin windows; but that is not all; you can +also see the Isle of Wight,--Ryde, with its long wooden pier, and Cowes, +where the yachts lie. In fact, there is a great deal to be seen at +Portsmouth as well as at Plymouth; but what I wish you particularly to +see, just now, is a vessel holding fast to the buoy, just off the +saluting battery. She is a cutter; and you may know that she belongs to +the Preventive Service by the number of gigs and galleys which she has +hoisted up all round her. She looks like a vessel that was about to sail +with a cargo of boats. Two on deck, one astern, one on each side of her. +You observe that she is painted black, and all her boats are white. She +is not such an elegant vessel as the yacht, and she is much more +lumbered up. She has no haunches of venison over the stern; but I think +there is a leg of mutton, and some cabbages hanging by their stalks. But +revenue-cutters are not yachts.--You will find no turtle or champagne; +but, nevertheless, you will, perhaps, find a joint to carve at, a good +glass of grog, and a hearty welcome. + +Let us go on board.--You observe the guns are iron, and painted black, +and her bulwarks are painted red; it is not a very becoming colour; but +then it lasts a long while, and the dock-yard is not very generous on +the score of paint--or lieutenants of the navy troubled with much spare +cash. She has plenty of men, and fine men they are; all dressed in red +flannel shirts, and blue trousers; some of them have not taken off their +canvas or tarpaulin petticoats, which are very useful to them, as they +are in the boats night and day, and in all weathers. But we will at once +go down into the cabin, where we shall find the lieutenant who commands +her, a master's mate, and a midshipman. They have each their tumbler +before them, and are drinking gin-toddy, hot, with sugar--capital gin, +too, 'bove proof; it is from that small anker, standing under the table. +It was one that they forgot to return to the custom-house when they made +their last seizure. We must introduce them. + +The elderly personage, with grizzly hair and whiskers, a round pale +face, and a somewhat red nose (being too much in the wind will make the +nose red, and this old officer is very often "in the wind," of course, +from the very nature of his profession), is a Lieutenant Appleboy. He +has served in every class of vessel in the service, and done the duty of +first lieutenant for twenty years; he is now on promotion--that is to +say, after he has taken a certain number of tubs of gin, he will be +rewarded with his rank as commander. It is a pity that what he takes +inside of him does not count, for he takes it morning, noon, and night. +--He is just filling his fourteenth glass: he always keeps a regular +account, as he never exceeds his limited number, which is seventeen; +then he is exactly down to his bearings. + +The master's mate's name is Tomkins; he has served his six years three +times over, and has now outgrown his ambition; which is fortunate for +him, as his chances of promotion are small. He prefers a small vessel to +a large one, because he is not obliged to be so particular in his dress +--and looks for his lieutenancy whenever there shall be another charity +promotion. He is fond of soft bread, for his teeth are all absent +without leave; he prefers porter to any other liquor, but he can drink +his glass of grog, whether it be based upon rum, brandy, or the liquor +now before him. + +Mr Smith is the name of that young gentleman, whose jacket is so out at +the elbows; he has been intending to mend it these last two months, but +is too lazy to go to his chest for another. He has been turned out of +half the ships in the service for laziness; but he was born so--and +therefore it is not his fault.--A revenue-cutter suits him, she is half +her time hove to; and he has no objection to boat-service, as he sits +down always in the stern-sheets, which is not fatiguing. Creeping for +tubs is his delight, as he gets over so little ground. He is fond of +grog, but there is some trouble in carrying the tumbler so often to his +mouth; so he looks at it, and lets it stand. He says little, because he +is too lazy to speak. He has served more than _eight years;_ but as for +passing--it has never come into his head. Such are the three persons who +are now sitting in the cabin of the revenue-cutter, drinking hot +gin-toddy. + +"Let me see, it was, I think, in ninety-three or ninety-four. Before you +were in the service, Tomkins.--" + +"Maybe, sir; it's so long ago since I entered, that I can't recollect +dates,--but this I know, that my aunt died three days before." + +"Then the question is, when did your aunt die?" + +"Oh! she died about a year after my uncle." + +"And when did your uncle die?" + +"I'll be hanged if I know!" + +"Then, d'ye see, you've no departure to work from. However, I think you +cannot have been in the service at that time. We were not quite so +particular about uniform as we are now." + +"Then I think the service was all the better for it. Now-a-days, in your +crack ships, a mate has to go down in the hold or spirit-room, and after +whipping up fifty empty casks, and breaking out twenty full ones, he is +expected to come on quarter-deck as clean as if he was just come out of +a band-box." + +"Well, there's plenty of water alongside, as far as the outward man +goes, and iron dust is soon brushed off. However, as you say, perhaps a +little too much is expected; at least, in five of the ships in which I +was first-lieutenant, the captain was always hauling me over the coals +about the midshipmen not dressing properly, as if I was their dry-nurse. +I wonder what Captain Prigg would have said, if he had seen such a +turn-out as you, Mr Smith, on his quarter-deck." + +"I should have had one turn-out more," drawled Smith. + +"With your out-at-elbows jacket, there, heh!" continued Mr Appleboy. + +Smith turned up his elbows, looked at one and then at the other: after +so fatiguing an operation, he was silent. + +"Well, where was I? Oh! it was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I +said, that it happened--Tomkins, fill your glass, and hand me the sugar +--how do I get on? This is No. 15," said Appleboy, counting some white +lines on the table by him; and taking up a piece of chalk, he marked one +more line on his tally. "I don't think this is so good a tub as the +last, Tomkins, there's a twang about it--a want of juniper--however, I +hope we shall have better luck this time. Of course, you know we sail +to-morrow?" + +"I presume so, by the leg of mutton coming on board." + +"True--true--I'm regular--as clock-work.--After being twenty years a +first-lieutenant, one gets a little method--I like regularity. Now the +admiral has never omitted asking me to dinner once, every time I have +come into harbour, except this time--I was so certain of it, that I +never expected to sail; and I have but two shirts clean in consequence." + +"That's odd, isn't it? and the more so, because he has had such great +people down here, and has been giving large parties every day." + +"And yet I made three seizures, besides sweeping up those thirty-seven +tubs." + +"I swept them up," observed Smith. + +"That's all the same thing, _younker_.--When you've been a little longer +in the service, you'll find out that the commanding officer has the +merit of all that is done--but you're _green_ yet. Let me see, where was +I? Oh!--It was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I said. At that +time I was in the Channel fleet--Tomkins, I'll trouble you for the hot +water; this water's cold.--Mr Smith, do me the favour to ring the bell. +--Jem, some more hot water." + +"Please, sir," said Jem, who was barefooted as well as bare-headed, +touching the lock of hair on his forehead, "the cook has capsized the +kettle--but he has put more on." + +"Capsized the kettle! Ha!--very well--we'll talk about that to-morrow. +Mr Tomkins, do me the favour to put him in the report, I may forget it. +And pray, sir, how long is it since he has put more on?" + +"Just this moment, sir, as I came aft." + +"Very well, we'll see to that to-morrow:--You bring the kettle aft as +soon as it is ready. I say, Mr Jem, is that fellow sober?" + +"Yees, sir, he be sober as you be." + +"It's quite astonishing what a propensity the common sailors have to +liquor. Forty odd years have I been in the service, and I've never found +any difference: I only wish I had a guinea for every time that I have +given a fellow seven-water grog during my servitude as first-lieutenant, +I wouldn't call the king my cousin. Well, if there's no hot water, we +must take lukewarm--it won't do to heave to. By the Lord Harry! who +would have thought it?--I'm at number sixteen! Let me count--yes!-- +surely I must have made a mistake. A fact, by Heaven!" continued Mr +Appleboy, throwing the chalk down on the table. "Only one more glass, +after this--that is, if I have counted right--I may have seen double." + +"Yes," drawled Smith. + +"Well, never mind--let's go on with my story.--It was either in the year +ninety-three or ninety-four, that I was in the Channel fleet--we were +then abreast of Torbay--" + +"Here be the hot water, sir," cried Jem, putting the kettle down on the +deck. + +"Very well, boy--by-the-bye, has the jar of butter come on board?" + +"Yes, but it broke all down the middle; I tied him up with a ropeyarn." + +"Who broke it, sir?" + +"Coxswain says as how he didn't." + +"But who did, sir?" + +"Coxswain handed it up to Bill Jones, and he says as how he didn't." + +"But who did, sir?" + +"Bill Jones gave it to me, and I'm sure as how I didn't." + +"Then who did, sir, I ask you?" + +"I think it be Bill Jones, sir, 'cause he's fond of butter, I know, and +there be very little left in the jar." + +"Very _well_, we'll see to that to-morrow morning. Mr Tomkins, you'll +oblige me by putting the butter-jar down in the report, in case it +should slip my memory. Bill Jones, indeed, looks as if butter wouldn't +melt in his mouth--never mind. Well, it was, as I said before--it was in +the year ninety-three or ninety-four, when I was in the Channel fleet; +we were then off Torbay, and had just: taken two reefs in the top-sails. +Stop, before I go on with my story, I'll take my last glass--I think +it's the last: let me count--yes, by heavens I make out sixteen, well +told. Never mind, it shall be a stiff one. Boy, bring the kettle, and +mind you don't pour the hot water into my shoes, as you did the other +night. There, that will do. Now, Tomkins, fill up yours; and you, Mr +Smith: let us all start fair, and then you shall have my story--and a +very curious one it is, I can tell you; I wouldn't have believed it +myself if I hadn't seen it. Hilloa! what's this? confound it! what's the +matter with the toddy? Heh, Mr Tomkins?" + +Mr Tomkins tasted, but, like the lieutenant, he had made it very stiff; +and, as he had also taken largely before, he was, like him, not quite so +clear in his discrimination: "It has a queer _twang_, sir: Smith, what +is it?" + +Smith took up his glass, tasted the contents. + +"_Salt water"_ drawled the midshipman. + +"Salt water! so it is, by heavens!" cried Mr Appleboy. + +"Salt as Lot's wife!--by all that's infamous!" cried the master's mate. + +"Salt water, sir!" cried Jem in a fright, expecting a _salt_ eel for +supper. + +"Yes, sir," replied Mr Appleboy, tossing the contents of the tumbler in +the boy's face, "salt water. Very well, sir,--very well!" + +"It warn't me, sir," replied the boy, making up a piteous look. + +"No, sir, but you said the cook was sober." + +"He was not so _very_ much disguised, sir," replied Jem. + +"Oh! very well--never mind. Mr Tomkins, in case I should forget it, do +me the favour to put the kettle of salt water down in the report. The +scoundrel! I'm very sorry, gentlemen, but there's no means of having any +more gin-toddy,--but never mind, we'll see to this to-morrow. Two can +play at this; and if I don't salt-water their grog, and make them drink +it, too, I have been twenty years a first-lieutenant for nothing--that's +all. Good night, gentlemen; and," continued the lieutenant, in a severe +tone, "you'll keep a sharp look-out, Mr Smith--do you hear, sir?" + +"Yes," drawled Smith, "but it's not my watch; it was my first watch, +and, just now, it struck one bell." + +"You'll keep the middle watch, then, Mr Smith," said Mr Appleboy, who +was not a little put out; "and, Mr Tomkins, let me know as soon as it's +daylight. Boy, get my bed made. Salt water, by all that's blue! However, +we'll see to that to-morrow morning." + +Mr Appleboy then turned in; so did Mr Tomkins; and so did Mr Smith, who +had no idea of keeping the middle watch because the cook was drunk and +had filled up the kettle with salt water. As for what happened in +ninety-three or ninety-four, I really would inform the reader if I knew, +but I am afraid that that most curious story is never to be handed down +to posterity. + +The next morning, Mr Tomkins, as usual, forgot to report the cook, the +jar of butter, and the kettle of salt water; and Mr Appleboy's wrath had +long been appeased before he remembered them. At daylight the lieutenant +came on deck, having only slept away half of the sixteen, and a taste of +the seventeenth salt-water glass of gin-toddy. He rubbed his grey eyes, +that he might peer through the grey of the morning; the fresh breeze +blew about his grizzly locks, and cooled his rubicund nose. The +revenue-cutter, whose name was the _Active_, cast off from the buoy; +and, with a fresh breeze, steered her course for the Needles' passage. + + + + +Chapter III + +CUTTER THE THIRD + + +Reader! have you been to St Maloes? If you have, you were glad enough to +leave the hole; and, if you have not, take my advice, and do not give +yourself the trouble to go and see that, or any other French port in the +Channel. There is not one worth looking at. They have made one or two +artificial ports, and they are no great things; there is no getting out, +or getting in. In fact, they have no harbours in the Channel, while we +have the finest in the world; a peculiar dispensation of Providence, +because it knew that we should want them, and France would not. In +France, what are called ports are all alike, nasty narrow holes, only to +be entered at certain times of tide and certain winds; made up of basins +and back-waters, custom-houses, and cabarets; just fit for smugglers to +run into, and nothing more; and, therefore, they are used for very +little else. + +Now, in the dog-hole called St Maloes there is some pretty land, +although a great deficiency of marine scenery. But never mind that: stay +at home, and don't go abroad to drink sour wine, because they call it +Bordeaux, and eat villanous trash, so disguised by cooking that you +cannot possibly tell which of the birds of the air, or beasts of the +field, or fishes of the sea, you are cramming down your throat. "If all +is right, there is no occasion for disguise," is an old saying; so +depend upon it, that there is something wrong, and that you are eating +offal, under a grand French name. They eat everything in France, and +would serve you up the head of a monkey who has died of the smallpox, as +_singe au petite vérole_--that is, if you did not understand French; if +you did, they would call it, _Tête d'amour a l'Ethiopique,_ and then you +would be even more puzzled. As for their wine, there is no disguise in +that--it's half vinegar. No, no! stay at home; you can live just as +cheaply, if you choose; and then you will have good meat, good +vegetables, good ale, good beer, and a good glass of grog--and what is +of more importance, you will be in good company. Live with your friends, +and don't make a fool of yourself. + +I would not have condescended to have noticed this place, had it not +been that I wish you to observe a vessel which is lying along the +pier-wharf, with a plank from the shore to her gunnel. It is low water, +and she is aground, and the plank dips down at such an angle that it is +a work of danger to go either in or out of her. You observe that there +is nothing very remarkable in her. She is a cutter, and a good sea-boat, +and sails well before the wind. She is short for her breadth of beam, +and is not armed. Smugglers do not arm now--the service is too +dangerous; they effect their purpose by cunning, not by force. +Nevertheless, it requires that smugglers should be good seamen, smart, +active fellows, and keen-witted, or they can do nothing. This vessel has +not a large cargo in her, but it is valuable. She has some thousand +yards of lace, a few hundred pounds of tea, a few bales of silk, and +about forty ankers of brandy--just as much as they can land in one boat. +All they ask is a heavy gale or a thick fog, and they trust to +themselves for success. + +There is nobody on board except a boy; the crew are all up at the +cabaret, settling their little accounts of every description--for they +smuggle both ways, and every man has his own private venture. There they +are all, fifteen of them, and fine-looking fellows, too, sitting at that +long table. They are very merry, but quite sober, as they are to sail +to-night. + +The captain of the vessel (whose name, by-the-bye is the +"_Happy-go-lucky_,"--the captain christened her himself) is that +fine-looking young man, with dark whiskers, meeting under his throat. +His name is Jack Pickersgill. You perceive, at once, that he is much +above a common sailor in appearance. His manners are good, he is +remarkably handsome, very clean, and rather a dandy in his dress. +Observe, how very politely he takes off his hat to that Frenchman, with +whom he has just settled accounts; he beats Johnny Crapeau at his own +weapons. And then there is an air of command, a feeling of conscious +superiority about Jack; see how he treats the landlord, _de haut en +bas_, at the same time that he is very civil. The fact is, that Jack is +of a very good, old family, and received a very excellent education; but +he was an orphan, his friends were poor, and could do but little for +him: he went out to India as a cadet, ran away, and served in a schooner +which smuggled opium into China, and then came home. He took a liking to +the employment, and is now laying up a very pretty little sum: not that +he intends to stop: no, as soon as he has enough to fit out a vessel for +himself, he intends to start again for India, and with two cargoes of +opium, he will return, he trusts, with a handsome fortune, and re-assume +his family name. Such are Jack's intentions; and, as he eventually means +to reappear as a gentleman, he preserves his gentlemanly habits: he +neither drinks, nor chews, nor smokes. He keeps his hands clean, wears +rings, and sports a gold snuff-box; notwithstanding which, Jack is one +of the boldest and best of sailors, and the men know it. He is full of +fun, and as keen as a razor. Jack has a very heavy venture this time-- +all the lace is his own speculation, and if he gets it in safe, he will +clear some thousands of pounds. A certain fashionable shop in London has +already agreed to take the whole off his hands. + +That short, neatly-made young man is the second in command, and the +companion of the captain. He is clever, and always has a remedy to +propose when there is a difficulty, which is a great quality in a second +in command. His name is Corbett. He is always merry--half-sailor, +half-tradesman; knows the markets, runs up to London, and does business +as well as a chapman--lives for the day, and laughs at to-morrow. + +That little punchy old man, with long gray hair and fat face, with a +nose like a note of interrogation, is the next personage of importance. +He ought to be called the sailing-master, for, although he goes on shore +in France, off the English coast he never quits the vessel. When they +leave her with the goods, he remains on board; he is always to be found +off any part of the coast where he may be ordered; holding his position +in defiance of gales, and tides, and fogs: as for the revenue-vessels, +they all know him well enough, but they cannot touch a vessel in +ballast, if she has no more men on board than allowed by her tonnage. He +knows every creek, and hole, and corner, of the coast; how the tide runs +in--tide, half-tide, eddy, or current. That is his value. His name is +Morrison. + +You observe that Jack Pickersgill has two excellent supporters in +Corbett and Morrison; his other men are good seamen, active, and +obedient, which is all that he requires. I shall not particularly +introduce them. + +"Now you may call for another _litre_, my lads, and that must be the +last; the tide is flowing fast, and we shall be afloat in half an hour, +and we have just the breeze we want. What d'ye think, Morrison, shall we +have dirt?" + +"I've been looking just now, and if it were any other month in the year +I should say, yes; but there's no trusting April, captain. Howsomever, +if it does blow off, I'll promise you a fog in three hours afterwards." + +"That will do as well. Corbett, have you settled with Duval?" + +"Yes, after more noise and _charivari_ than a panic in the Stock +Exchange would make in England. He fought and squabbled for an hour, and +I found that, without some abatement, I never should have settled the +affair." + +"What did you let him off?" + +"Seventeen sous," replied Corbett, laughing. + +"And that satisfied him?" inquired Pickersgill. + +"Yes--it was all he could prove to be a _surfaire_: two of the knives +were a little rusty. But he will always have something off; he could not +be happy without it. I really think he would commit suicide, if he had +to pay a bill without a deduction." + +"Let him live," replied Pickersgill. "Jeannette, a bottle of Volnay, of +1811, and three glasses." + +Jeannette, who was the _fille de cabaret_, soon appeared with a bottle +of wine, seldom called for, except by the captain of the +_Happy-go-lucky_. + +"You sail to-night?" said she, as she placed the bottle before him. + +Pickersgill nodded his head. + +"I had a strange dream," said Jeannette; "I thought you were all taken +by a revenue cutter, and put in a _cachot_. I went to see you, and I did +not know one of you again--you were all changed." + +"Very likely, Jeannette--you would not be the first who did not know +their friends again when in misfortune. There was nothing strange in +your dream." + +"_Mais, mon Dieu! je ne suis pas comme ça moi_." + +"No, that you are not, Jeannette; you are a good girl, and some of these +fine days I'll marry you," said Corbett. + +"_Doit être bien beau ce jour là, par exemple_," replied Jeannette, +laughing; "you have promised to marry me every time you have come in, +these last three years." + +"Well, that proves I keep to my promise, any how." + +"Yes; but you never go any further." + +"I can't spare him, Jeannette, that is the real truth," said the +captain: "but wait a little--in the meantime, here is a five-franc piece +to add to your _petite fortune_." + +"_Merci bien, monsieur le capitaine; bon voyage!_" Jeannette held her +finger up to Corbett, saying, with a smile, "_méchant!_" and then +quitted the room. + +"Come, Morrison, help us to empty this bottle, and then we will all go +on board." + +"I wish that girl wouldn't come here with her nonsensical dreams," said +Morrison, taking his seat; "I don't like it. When she said that we +should be taken by a revenue cutter, I was looking at a blue and a white +pigeon sitting on the wall opposite; and I said to myself, now, if that +be a warning, I will see: if the _blue_ pigeon flies away first, I shall +be in jail in a week; if the _white,_ I shall be back here." + +"Well?" said Pickersgill, laughing. + +"It wasn't well," answered Morrison, tossing off his wine, and putting +the glass down with a deep sigh; "for the cursed _blue_ pigeon flew away +immediately." + +"Why, Morrison, you must have a chicken-heart to be frightened at a blue +pigeon," said Corbett, laughing, and looking out of the window; "at all +events, he has come back again, and there he is sitting by the white +one." + +"It's the first time that ever I was called chicken-hearted," replied +Morrison, in wrath. + +"Nor do you deserve it, Morrison," replied Pickersgill; "but Corbett is +only joking." + +"Well, at all events, I'll try my luck in the same way, and see whether +I am to be in jail: I shall take the blue pigeon as my bad omen, as you +did." + +The sailors and Captain Pickersgill all rose and went to the window, to +ascertain Corbett's fortune by this new species of augury. The blue +pigeon flapped his wings, and then he sidled up to the white one; at +last, the white pigeon flew off the wall and settled on the roof of the +adjacent house. "Bravo, white pigeon!" said Corbett; "I shall be here +again in a week." The whole party, laughing, then resumed their seats; +and Morrison's countenance brightened up. As he took the glass of wine +poured out by Pickersgill, he said, "Here's your health, Corbett; it was +all nonsense, after all--for, d'ye see, I can't be put in jail without +you are. We all sail in the same boat, and when you leave me, you take +with you everything that can condemn the vessel--so here's success to +our trip." + +"We will all drink that toast, my lads, and then on board," said the +captain; "here's success to our trip." + +The captain rose, as did the mates and men, drank the toast, turned down +the drinking-vessels on the table, hastened to the wharf, and, in half +an hour, the _Happy-go-lucky_ was clear of the port of St Maloes. + + + + +Chapter IV + +PORTLAND BILL + + +The _Happy-go-lucky_ sailed with a fresh breeze and a flowing sheet from +St Maloes, the evening before the _Arrow_ sailed from Barn Pool. The +_Active_ sailed from Portsmouth the morning after. + +The yacht, as we before observed, was bound to Cowes, in the Isle of +Wight. The _Active_ had orders to cruise wherever she pleased within the +limits of the admiral's station; and she ran for West Bay, on the other +side of the Bill of Portland. The _Happy-go-lucky_ was also bound for +that bay to land her cargo. + +The wind was light, and there was every appearance of fine weather, when +the _Happy-go-lucky_, at ten o'clock on the Tuesday night, made the +Portland lights; as it was impossible to run her cargo that night, she +hove to. + +At eleven o'clock, the Portland lights were made by the revenue cutter +_Active_. Mr Appleboy went up to have a look at them, ordered the cutter +to be hove to, and then went down to finish his allowance of gin-toddy. +At twelve o'clock, the yacht _Arrow_ made the Portland lights, and +continued her course, hardly stemming the ebb tide. + +Day broke, and the horizon was clear. The first on the look-out were, of +course, the smugglers; they, and those on board the revenue cutter, were +the only two interested parties--the yacht was neuter. + +"There are two cutters in sight, sir," said Corbett, who had the watch; +for Pickersgill, having been up the whole night, had thrown himself down +on the bed with his clothes on. + +"What do they look like?" said Pickersgill, who was up in a moment. + +"One is a yacht, and the other may be; but I rather think, as far as I +can judge in the gray, that it is our old friend off here." + +"What! old Appleboy?" + +"Yes, it looks like him; but the day has scarcely broke yet." + +"Well, he can do nothing in a light wind like this; and before the wind +we can show him our heels; but are you sure the other is a yacht?" said +Pickersgill, coming on deck. + +"Yes; the king is more careful of his canvas." + +"You're right," said Pickersgill, "that is a yacht; and you're right +there again in your guess--that is the stupid old _Active_, which creeps +about creeping for tubs. Well, I see nothing to alarm us at present, +provided it don't fall a dead calm, and then we must take to our boat as +soon as he takes to his; we are four miles from him at least. Watch his +motions, Corbett, and see if he lowers a boat. What does she go now? +Four knots?--that will soon tire their men." + +The positions of the three cutters were as follows:-- + +The _Happy-go-lucky_ was about four miles off Portland Head, and well +into West Bay. The revenue cutter was close to the Head. The yacht was +outside of the smuggler, about two miles to the westward, and about five +or six miles from the revenue cutter. + +"Two vessels in sight, sir," said Mr Smith, coming down into the cabin +to Mr Appleboy. + +"Very well," replied the lieutenant, who was _lying_ down in his +_standing_ bed-place. + +"The people say one is the _Happy-go-lucky,_ sir," drawled Smith. + +"Heh? what! _Happy-go-lucky?_ Yes, I recollect; I've boarded her twenty +times--always empty. How's she standing?" + +"She stands to the westward now, sir; but she was hove to, they say, +when they first saw her." + +"Then she has a cargo in her;" and Mr Appleboy shaved himself, dressed, +and went on deck. + +"Yes," said the lieutenant, rubbing his eyes again and again, and then +looking through the glass, "it is her sure enough. Let draw the fore +sheet--hands make sail. What vessel's the other?" + +"Don't know, sir,--she's a cutter." + +"A cutter? yes; may be a yacht, or may be the new cutter ordered on the +station. Make all sail, Mr Tomkins; hoist our pendant, and fire a gun-- +they will understand what we mean then; they don't know the +_Happy-go-lucky_ as well as we do." + +In a few minutes the _Active_ was under a press of sail; she hoisted her +pendant, and fired a gun. The smuggler perceived that the _Active_ had +recognised her, and she also threw out more canvas, and ran off more to +the westward. + +"There's a gun, sir," reported one of the men to Mr Stewart, on board of +the yacht. + +"Yes; give me the glass--a revenue cutter; then this vessel in shore, +running towards us, must be a smuggler." + +"She has just now made all sail, sir." + +"Yes, there's no doubt of it; I will go down to his lordship--keep her +as she goes." + +Mr Stewart then went down to inform Lord B. of the circumstance. Not +only Lord B., but most of the gentlemen came on deck; as did soon +afterwards the ladies, who had received the intelligence from Lord B., +who spoke to them through the door of the cabin. + +But the smuggler had more wind than the revenue cutter, and increased +her distance. + +"If we were to wear round now, my lord," observed Mr Stewart, "she is +just abreast of us and in shore, we could prevent her escape." + +"Round with her, Mr Stewart," said Lord B.; "we must do our duty, and +protect the laws." + +"That will not be fair, papa," said Cecilia Ossulton; "we have no +quarrel with the smugglers: I'm sure the ladies have not, for they bring +us beautiful things." + +"Miss Ossulton," observed her aunt, "it is not proper for you to offer +an opinion." + +The yacht wore round, and, sailing so fast, the smuggler had little +chance of escaping her; but to chase is one thing--to capture, another. + +"Let us give her a gun," said Lord B., "that will frighten her; and he +dare not cross our hawse." + +The gun was loaded, and not being more than a mile from the smuggler, +actually threw the ball almost a quarter of the way. + +The gentlemen, as well as Lord B., were equally excited by the ardour of +pursuit; but the wind died away, and at last it was nearly calm. The +revenue cutter's boats were out, and coming up fast. + +"Let us get our boat out, Stewart," said his lordship; "and help them; +it is quite calm now." + +The boat was soon out: it was a very large one, usually stowed on, and +occupied a large portion of, the deck. It pulled six oars; and when it +was manned, Mr Stewart jumped in, and Lord B. followed him. + +"But you have no arms," said Mr Hautaine. + +"The smugglers never resist now," observed Stewart. + +"Then you are going on a very gallant expedition, indeed," observed +Cecilia Ossulton; "I wish you joy." + +But Lord B. was too much excited to pay attention. They shoved off, and +pulled towards the smuggler. + +At this time, the revenue boats were about five miles astern of the +_Happy-go-lucky_, and the yacht about three-quarters of a mile from her +in the offing. Pickersgill had, of course, observed the motions of the +yacht; had seen her wear on chase, hoist her ensign and pendant, and +fire her gun. + +"Well," said he, "this is the blackest ingratitude; to be attacked by +the very people whom we smuggle for. I only wish she may come up with +us; and, let her attempt to interfere, she shall rue the day: I don't +much like this, though." + +As we before observed, it fell nearly calm, and the revenue boats were +in chase. Pickersgill watched them as they came up. + +"What shall we do," said Corbett,--"get the boat out?" + +"Yes," replied Pickersgill, "we will get the boat out, and have the +goods in her all ready; but we can pull faster than they do, in the +first place; and, in the next, they will be pretty well tired before +they come up to us. We are fresh, and shall soon walk away from them; so +I shall not leave the vessel till they are within half a mile. We must +sink the ankers, that they may not seize the vessel, for it is not worth +while taking them with us. Pass them along ready to run them over the +bows, that they may not see us and swear to it. But we have a good half +hour, and more." + +"Ay, and you may hold all fast if you choose," said Morrison, "although +it's better to be on the right side and get ready; otherwise, before +half an hour, I'll swear that we are out of their sight. Look there," +said he, pointing to the eastward at a heavy bank, "it's coming right +down upon us, as I said it would." + +"True enough; but still there is no saying which will come first, +Morrison; the boats or the fog, so we must be prepared." + +"Hilloa! what's this? why, there's a boat coming from the yacht!" + +Pickersgill took out his glass. + +"Yes, and the yacht's own boat, with the name painted on her bows. Well, +let them come--we will have no ceremony in resisting them; they are not +in the Act of Parliament, and must take the consequences. We have nought +to fear. Get stretchers, my lads, and hand-spikes; they row six oars, +and are three in the stern sheets--they must be good men if they take +us." + +In a few minutes Lord B. was close to the smuggler. + +"Boat, ahoy! what do you want?" + +"Surrender in the king's name." + +"To what, and to whom, and what are we to surrender? We are an English +vessel coasting along shore." + +"Pull on board, my lads," cried Stewart; "I am a king's officer--we know +her." + +The boat darted alongside, and Stewart and Lord B., followed by the men, +jumped on the deck. + +"Well, gentlemen, what do you want?" said Pickersgill. + +"We seize you--you are a smuggler; there's no denying it: look at the +casks of spirits stretched along the deck." + +"We never said that we were not smugglers," replied Pickersgill; "but +what is that to you? You are not a king's ship, or employed by the +revenue." + +"No, but we carry a pendant, and it is our duty to protect the laws." + +"And who are you?" said Pickersgill. + +"I am Lord B." + +"Then, my lord, allow me to say that you would do much better to attend +to the framing of laws, and leave people of less consequence, like those +astern of me, to execute them. 'Mind your own business,' is an old +adage. We shall not hurt you, my lord, as you have only employed words, +but we shall put it out of your power to hurt us. Come aft, my lads. +Now, my lord, resistance is useless; we are double your numbers, and you +have caught a Tartar." + +Lord B. and Mr Stewart perceived that they were in an awkward +predicament. + +"You may do what you please," observed Mr Stewart, "but the revenue +boats are coming up, recollect." + +"Look you, sir, do you see the revenue cutter?" said Pickersgill. + +Stewart looked in that direction, and saw that she was hidden in the +fog. + +"In five minutes, sir, the boats will be out of sight also, and so will +your vessel; we have nothing to fear from them." + +"Indeed, my lord, we had better return," said Mr Stewart, who perceived +that Pickersgill was right. + +"I beg your pardon, you will not go on board your yacht so soon as you +expect. Take the oars out of the boat, my lads, two or three of you, and +throw in a couple of our paddles for them to reach the shore with. The +rest of you knock down the first man who offers to resist. You are not +aware, perhaps, my lord, that you have attempted _piracy_ on the high +seas?" + +Stewart looked at Lord B. It was true enough. The men of the yacht could +offer no resistance; the oars were taken out of the boat, and the men +put in again. + +"My lord," said Pickersgill, "your boat is manned--do me the favour to +step into it; and you, sir, do the same. I should be sorry to lay my +hands upon a peer of the realm, or a king's officer even on half pay." + +Remonstrance was vain; his lordship was led to the boat by two of the +smugglers, and Stewart followed. + +"I will leave your oars, my lord, at the Weymouth Custom-house; and I +trust this will be a lesson to you in future to 'mind your own +business.'" + +The boat was shoved off from the sloop by the smugglers, and was soon +lost sight of in the fog, which had now covered the revenue boats as +well as the yacht; at the same time, it brought down a breeze from the +eastward. + +"Haul to the wind, Morrison," said Pickersgill, "we will stand out to +get rid of the boats; if they pull on, they will take it for granted +that we shall run into the bay, as will the revenue cutter." + +Pickersgill and Corbett were in conversation abaft for a short time, +when the former desired the course to be altered two points. + +"Keep silence all of you, my lads, and let me know if you hear a gun or +a bell from the yacht," said Pickersgill. + +"There is a gun, sir, close to us," said one of the men; "the sound was +right ahead." + +"That will do, keep her as she goes. Aft here, my lads; we cannot run +our cargo in the bay, for the cutter has been seen to chase us, and they +will all be on the look-out at the preventive stations for us on shore. +Now, my lads, I have made up my mind that, as these yacht gentlemen have +thought proper to interfere, I will take possession of the yacht for a +few days. We shall then out-sail everything, go where we like +unsuspected, and land our cargo with ease. I shall run alongside of her +--she can have but few hands on board; and mind, do not hurt anybody, +but be civil and obey my orders. Morrison, you and your four men and the +boy will remain on board as before, and take the vessel to Cherbourg, +where we will join you." + +In a short time another gun was fired from the yacht. + +Those on board, particularly the ladies, were alarmed; the fog was very +thick, and they could not distinguish the length of the vessel. They had +seen the boat board, but had not seen her turned adrift without oars, as +the fog came on just at that time. The yacht was left with only three +seamen on board, and, should it come on bad weather, they were in an +awkward predicament. Mr Hautaine had taken the command, and ordered the +guns to be fired that the boat might be enabled to find them. The fourth +gun was loading, when they perceived the smuggler's cutter close to them +looming through the fog. + +"Here they are," cried the seamen; "and they have brought the prize +along with them! Three cheers for the _Arrow_!" + +"Hilloa! you'll be on board of us?" cried Hautaine. + +"That's exactly what I intended to be, sir," replied Pickersgill, +jumping on the quarter-deck, followed by his men. + +"Who the devil are you?" + +"That's exactly the same question that I asked Lord B. when he boarded +us," replied Pickersgill, taking off his hat to the ladies. + +"Well, but what business have you here?" + +"Exactly the same question which I put to Lord B.," replied Pickersgill. + +"Where is Lord B., sir?" said Cecilia Ossulton, going up to the +smuggler; "is he safe?" + +"Yes, madam, he is safe; at least he is in his boat with all his men, +and unhurt: but you must excuse me if I request you and the other ladies +to go down below while I speak to these gentlemen. Be under no alarm, +miss; you will receive neither insult nor ill-treatment--I have only +taken possession of this vessel for the present." + +"Take possession," cried Hautaine, "of a yacht." + +"Yes, sir, since the owner of the yacht thought proper to attempt to +take possession of me. I always thought that yachts were +pleasure-vessels, sailing about for amusement, respected themselves, and +not interfering with others; but it appears that such is not the case. +The owner of this yacht has thought proper to break through the +neutrality, and commence aggression, and under such circumstances I have +now, in retaliation, taken possession of her." + +"And, pray, what do you mean to do, sir?" + +"Simply for a few days to make an exchange. I shall send you on board of +my vessel as smugglers, while I remain here with the ladies and amuse +myself with yachting." + +"Why, sir, you cannot mean--" + +"I have said, gentlemen, and that is enough; I should be sorry to resort +to violence, but I must be obeyed. You have, I perceive, three seamen +only left: they are not sufficient to take charge of the vessel, and +Lord B. and the others you will not meet for several days. My regard for +the ladies, even common humanity, points out to me that I cannot leave +the vessel in this crippled condition. At the same time, as I must have +hands on board of my own, you will oblige me by going on board and +taking her safely into port. It is the least return you can make for my +kindness. In those dresses, gentlemen, you will not be able to do your +duty; oblige me by shifting, and putting on these." Corbett handed a +flannel shirt, a rough jacket and trousers, to Messrs Hautaine, +Ossulton, Vaughan, and Seagrove. After some useless resistance they were +stripped, and having put on the smugglers' attire, they were handed on +board of the _Happy-go-lucky_. + +The three English seamen were also sent on board and confined below, as +well as Ossulton's servant, who was also equipped like his master, and +confined below with the seamen. Corbett and the men then handed up all +the smuggled goods into the yacht, dropped the boat, and made it fast +astern; and, Morrison having received his directions, the vessels +separated--Morrison running for Cherbourg, and Pickersgill steering the +yacht along shore to the westward. About an hour after this exchange had +been effected, the fog cleared up, and showed the revenue cutter hove to +for her boats, which had pulled back and were close on board of her; and +the _Happy-go-lucky_, about three miles in the offing. Lord B. and his +boat's crew were about four miles in shore, paddling and drifting with +the tide towards Portland. As soon as the boats were on board, the +revenue cutter made all sail after the smuggler, paying no attention to +the yacht, and either not seeing or not caring about the boat which was +drifting about in West Bay. + + + + +Chapter V + +THE TRAVESTIE + + +"Here we are, Corbett, and now I only wish my venture had been double," +observed Pickersgill; "but I shall not allow business to absorb me +wholly--we must add a little amusement. It appears to me, Corbett, that +the gentleman's clothes which lie there will fit you, and those of the +good-looking fellow who was spokesman will, I am sure, suit me well. +Now, let us dress ourselves, and then for breakfast." + +Pickersgill then exchanged his clothes for those of Mr Hautaine, and +Corbett fitted on those of Mr Ossulton. The steward was summoned up, and +he dared not disobey; he appeared on deck, trembling. + +"Steward--you will take these clothes below," said Pickersgill, "and, +observe, I now command this yacht; and, during the time that I am on +board, you will pay me the same respect as you did Lord B.: nay, more, +you will always address me as Lord B. You will prepare dinner and +breakfast, and do your duty just as if his lordship was on board, and +take care that you feed us well, for I will not allow the ladies to be +entertained in a less sumptuous manner than before.--You will tell the +cook what I say,--and now that you have heard me, take care that you +obey; if not, recollect that I have my own men here, and if I but point +with my finger, _overboard you go_.--Do you perfectly comprehend me?" + +"Yes,--sir," stammered the steward. + +"Yes, _sir_!--What did I tell you, sirrah?--Yes, my lord.--Do you +understand me?" + +"Yes--my lord." + +"Pray, steward, whose clothes has this gentleman put on?" + +"Mr--Mr Ossulton's, I think--sir--my lord, I mean." + +"Very well, steward; then recollect, in future you always address that +gentleman as _Mr Ossulton_." + +"Yes, my lord," and the steward went down below, and was obliged to take +a couple of glasses of brandy, to keep himself from fainting. + +"Who are they, and what are they! Mr Maddox?" cried the lady's-maid, who +had been weeping. + +"Pirates!--_bloody, murderous, stick-at-nothing_ pirates!" replied the +steward. + +"Oh!" screamed the lady's-maid, "what will become of us, poor +unprotected females?" And she hastened into the cabin, to impart this +dreadful intelligence. + +The ladies in the cabin were not in a very enviable situation. As for +the elder Miss Ossulton (but, perhaps, it will be better in future to +distinguish the two ladies, by calling the elder simply Miss Ossulton, +and her niece, Cecilia), she was sitting with her salts to her nose, +agonised with a mixture of trepidation and wounded pride. Mrs Lascelles +was weeping, but weeping gently. Cecilia was sad, and her heart was +beating with anxiety and suspense--when the maid rushed in. + +"O madam! O miss! O Mrs Lascelles! I have found it all out!--they are +murderous, bloody, do-everything pirates!!!" + +"Mercy on us!" exclaimed Miss Ossulton; "surely they will never dare--?" + +"Oh, ma'am, they dare anything!--they just now were throwing the steward +overboard--and they have rummaged all the portmanteaus, and dressed +themselves in the gentlemen's best clothes--the captain of them told the +steward that he was Lord B.--and that if he dared to call him anything +else, he would cut his throat from ear to ear--and if the cook don't +give them a good dinner, they swear that they'll chop his right hand +off, and make him eat it, without pepper or salt!" + +Miss Ossulton screamed, and went off into hysterics. Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia went to her assistance; but the latter had not forgotten the +very different behaviour of Jack Pickersgill, and his polite manners, +when he boarded the vessel. She did not, therefore, believe what the +maid had reported, but still her anxiety and suspense were great, +especially about her father. After having restored her aunt, she put on +her bonnet, which was lying on the sofa. + +"Where are you going, dear?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"On deck," replied Cecilia. "I must and will speak to these men." + +"Gracious heaven, Miss Ossulton going on deck! have you heard what +Phoebe says?" + +"Yes, aunt, I have; but I can wait here no longer." + +"Stop her! stop her!--she will be murdered!--she will be--she is mad!" +screamed Miss Ossulton; but no one attempted to stop Cecilia, and on +deck she went. On her arrival, she found Jack Pickersgill and Corbett +walking the deck; one of the smugglers at the helm, and the rest +forward, and as quiet as the crew of the yacht. As soon as she made her +appearance, Jack took off his hat, and made her a bow. + +"I do not know whom I have the honour of addressing, young lady! but I +am flattered with this mark of confidence. You feel, and I assure you, +you feel correctly, that you are not exactly in lawless hands." + +Cecilia looked with more surprise than fear at Pickersgill; Mr +Hautaine's dress became him, he was a handsome, fine-looking man, and +had nothing of the ruffian in his appearance; unless, like Byron's +Corsair, he was _half savage, half soft_. She could not help thinking +that she had met many with less pretensions, as far as appearance went, +to the claims of a gentleman, at Almack's, and other fashionable +circles. + +"I have ventured on deck, sir," said Cecilia, with a little +tremulousness in her voice, "to request, as a favour, that you will +inform me what your intentions may be, with regard to the vessel, and +with regard to the ladies!" + +"And I feel much obliged to you, for so doing, and I assure you, I will, +as far as I have made up my own mind, answer you candidly: but you +tremble--allow me to conduct you to a seat. In few words, then, to +remove your present alarm, I intend that the vessel shall be returned to +its owner, with every article in it, as religiously respected as if they +were church property. With respect to you, and the other ladies on +board, I pledge you my honour, that you have nothing to fear; that you +shall be treated with every respect; your privacy never invaded; and +that, in a few days, you will be restored to your friends. Young lady, I +pledge my hopes of future salvation to the truth of this; but, at the +same time, I must make a few conditions, which, however, will not be +very severe." + +"But, sir," replied Cecilia, much relieved, for Pickersgill had stood by +her in the most respectful manner, "you are, I presume, the captain of +the smuggler? Pray, answer me one question more--What became of the +boat, with Lord B.,--he is my father?" + +"I left him in his boat, without a hair of his head touched, young lady; +but I took away the oars." + +"Then he will perish!" cried Cecilia, putting her handkerchief to her +eyes. + +"No, young lady, he is on shore probably by this time; although I took +away his means of assisting to capture us, I left him the means of +gaining the land. It is not every one who would have done that, after +his conduct to us." + +"I begged him not to go," said Cecilia; "I told him that it was not +fair, and that he had no quarrel with the smugglers." + +"I thank you even for that," replied Pickersgill. "And now, Miss--I have +not the pleasure of recollecting his lordship's family name--" + +"Ossulton, sir," said Cecilia, looking at Pickersgill with surprise. + +"Then, with your permission, Miss Ossulton, I will now make you my +confidant: excuse my using so free a term, but it is because I wish to +relieve your fears; at the same time, I cannot permit you to divulge all +my intentions to the whole party on board; I feel that I may trust you, +for you have courage, and where there is courage, there generally is +truth; but you must first tell me whether you will condescend to accept +these terms?" + +Cecilia demurred a moment--the idea of being the confidant of a smuggler +rather startled her; but still, her knowledge of what his intentions +were, if she might not reveal them, might be important; as, perhaps, she +might dissuade him. She could be in no worse position than she was now, +and she might be in a much better. The conduct of Pickersgill had been +such, up to the present, as to inspire confidence; and, although he +defied the laws, he appeared to regard the courtesies of life. Cecilia +was a courageous girl, and at length she replied:-- + +"Provided what you desire me to keep secret will not be injurious to any +one, or compromise me, in my peculiar situation, I consent." + +"I would not hurt a fly, Miss Ossulton, but in self-defence, and I have +too much respect for you, from your conduct during our short meeting, to +compromise you. Allow me now to be very candid; and then, perhaps, you +will acknowledge that, in my situation, others would do the same; and, +perhaps, not show half so much forbearance. Your father, without any +right whatever, interferes with me, and my calling: he attempts to make +me a prisoner, to have me thrown in jail; heavily fined, and, perhaps, +sent out of the country. I will not enter into any defence of smuggling, +it is sufficient to say, that there are pains and penalties attached to +the infraction of certain laws, and that I choose to risk them--but Lord +B. was not empowered by Government to attack me; it was a gratuitous +act--and had I thrown him, and all his crew into the sea, I should have +been justified, for it was in short, an act of piracy on their part. +Now, as your father has thought to turn a yacht into a revenue cutter, +you cannot be surprised at my retaliating, in turning her into a +smuggler; and as he has mixed up looking after the revenue with +yachting, he cannot be surprised if I retaliate, by mixing up a little +yachting with smuggling. I have dressed your male companions as +smugglers, and have sent them in the smuggling vessel to Cherbourg, +where they will be safely landed; and I have dressed myself, and the +only person whom I could join with me in this frolic, as gentlemen, in +their places. My object is twofold: one is, to land my cargo, which I +have now on board, and which is very valuable; the other is, to +retaliate upon your father and his companions, for their attempt upon +me, by stepping into their shoes, and enjoying, for a day or two, their +luxuries. It is my intention to make free with nothing, but his +lordship's wine and eatables,--that you may be assured of; but I shall +have no pleasure, if the ladies do not sit down to the dinner-table with +us, as they did before with your father and his friends." + +"You can hardly expect that, sir," said Cecilia. + +"Yes, I do; and that will be not only the price of the early release of +the yacht and themselves, but it will also be the only means by which +they will obtain anything to eat. You observe, Miss Ossulton, the sins +of the fathers are visited on the children. I have now told you what I +mean to do, and what I wish. I leave you to think of it, and decide +whether it will not be the best for all parties to consent. You have my +permission to tell the other ladies, that whatever may be their conduct, +they are as secure from ill-treatment or rudeness, as if they were in +Grosvenor Square; but I cannot answer that they will not be hungry, if, +after such forbearance in every point, they show so little gratitude, as +not to honour me with their company." + +"Then I am to understand that we are to be starved into submission?" + +"No, not starved, Miss Ossulton; but recollect that you will be on bread +and water, and detained until you do consent, and your detention will +increase the anxiety of your father." + +"You know how to persuade, sir," said Cecilia. "As far as I am +concerned, I trust I shall ever be ready to sacrifice any feelings of +pride, to spare my father so much uneasiness. With your permission, I +will now go down into the cabin, and relieve my companions from the +worst of their fears. As for obtaining what you wish, I can only say, +that, as a young person, I am not likely to have much influence with +those older than myself, and must inevitably be overruled, as I have not +permission to point out to them reasons which might avail. Would you so +far allow me to be relieved from my promise, as to communicate all you +have said to me, to the only married woman on board? I think I then +might obtain your wishes, which, I must candidly tell you, I shall +attempt to effect, _only_ because I am most anxious to rejoin my +friends." + +"And be relieved of my company," replied Pickersgill, smiling, +ironically,--"of course you are; but I must and will have my petty +revenge: and although you may, and probably will detest me, at all +events you shall not have any very formidable charge to make against me +Before you go below, Miss Ossulton, I give you my permission to add the +married lady to the number of my confidants; and you must permit me to +introduce my friend, Mr Ossulton;" and Pickersgill waved his hand in the +direction of Corbett, who took off his hat, and made a low obeisance. + +It was impossible for Cecilia Ossulton to help smiling. + +"And," continued Pickersgill, "having taking the command of this yacht, +instead of his lordship, it is absolutely necessary that I also take his +lordship's name. While on board I am Lord B.; and allow me to introduce +myself under that name--I cannot be addressed otherwise. Depend upon it, +Miss Ossulton, that I shall have a most paternal solicitude to make you +happy and comfortable." + +Had Cecilia Ossulton dared to have given vent to her real feelings at +that time, she would have burst into a fit of laughter, it was too +ludicrous. At the same time, the very burlesque reassured her still +more. She went into the cabin with a heavy weight removed from her +heart. + +In the meantime, Miss Ossulton and Mrs Lascelles remained below, in the +greatest anxiety at Cecilia's prolonged stay; they knew not what to +think, and dared not go on deck. Mrs Lascelles had once determined at +all risks to go up; but Miss Ossulton and Phoebe had screamed, and +implored her so fervently not to leave them, that she unwillingly +consented to remain. Cecilia's countenance, when she entered the cabin, +reassured Mrs Lascelles, but not her aunt, who ran to her, crying and +sobbing, and clinging to her, saying, "What have they done to you, my +poor, poor Cecilia?" + +"Nothing at all, aunt," replied Cecilia, "the captain speaks very +fairly, and says he shall respect us in every possible way, provided +that we obey his orders, but if not--" + +"If not--what, Cecilia?" said Miss Ossulton, grasping her niece's arm. + +"He will starve us, and not let us go!" + +"God have mercy on us!"--cried Miss Ossulton, renewing her sobs. + +Cecilia then went to Mrs Lascelles, and communicated to her, apart, all +that had passed. Mrs Lascelles agreed with Cecilia, that they were in no +danger of insult; and as they talked over the matter, they at last began +to laugh; there was a novelty in it, and there was something so +ridiculous in all the gentlemen being turned into smugglers. Cecilia was +glad that she could not tell her aunt, as she wished her to be so +frightened, as never to have her company on board of the yacht again; +and Mrs Lascelles was too glad to annoy her for many and various insults +received. The matter was, therefore, canvassed over very satisfactorily, +and Mrs Lascelles felt a natural curiosity to see this new Lord B. and +the second Mr Ossulton. But they had had no breakfast and were feeling +very hungry, now that their alarm was over. They desired Phoebe to ask +the steward for some tea or coffee. The reply was, that, "Breakfast was +laid in the cabin, and Lord B. trusted that the ladies would come to +partake of it." + +"No, no," replied Mrs Lascelles, "I never can, without being introduced +to them first." + +"Nor will I go," replied Cecilia, "but I will write a note, and we will +have our breakfast here." Cecilia wrote a note in pencil as follows:-- + +"Miss Ossulton's compliments to Lord B., and, as the ladies feel rather +indisposed after the alarm of this morning, they trust that his lordship +will excuse their coming to breakfast; but hope to meet his lordship at +dinner, if not before that time, on deck." + +The answer was propitious, and the steward soon appeared with the +breakfast in the ladies' cabin. + +"Well Maddox," said Cecilia, "how do you get on with your new master?" + +The steward looked at the door to see if it was closed, shook his head, +and then said with a look of despair, "He has ordered a haunch of +venison for dinner, miss, and he has twice threatened to toss me +overboard." + +"You must obey him, Maddox, or he certainly will. These pirates are +dreadful fellows; be attentive, and serve him just as if he was my +father." + +"Yes, yes, ma'am, I will, but our time may come; it's _burglary_ on the +high seas, and I'll go fifty miles to see him hanged." + +"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, from the cabin. + +"O lord! he can't have heard me--d'ye-think he did, miss?" + +"The partitions are very thin, and you spoke very loud," said Mrs +Lascelles; "at all events, go to him quickly." + +"Good-bye, miss; good-bye, ma'am; if I shouldn't see you any more," said +Maddox, trembling with fear, as he obeyed the awful summons--which was +to demand a tooth-pick. + +Miss Ossulton would not touch the breakfast; not so Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia, who ate very heartily. + +"It's very dull to be shut up in this cabin," said Mrs Lascelles; "come, +Cecilia, let's go on deck." + +"And leave me," cried Miss Ossulton. + +"There is Phoebe here, aunt; we are going up to persuade the pirates to +put us all on shore." + +Mrs Lascelles and Cecilia put on their bonnets and went up. Lord B. took +off his hat, and begged the honour of being introduced to the pretty +widow. He handed the ladies to a seat, and then commenced conversing +upon various subjects, which, at the same time, possessed great novelty. +His lordship talked about France, and described its ports; told now and +then a good anecdote; pointed out the different headlands, bays, towns, +and villages, which they were passing rapidly, and always had some +little story connected with each. Before the ladies had been two hours +on deck, they found themselves, to their infinite surprise, not only +interested, but in conversation with the captain of the smuggler, and +more than once they laughed outright. But the _soi-disant_ Lord B. had +inspired them with confidence; they fully believed that what he had told +them was true, and that he had taken possession of the yacht to smuggle +his goods, to be revenged, and to have a laugh. Now none of these three +offences are capital in the eyes of the fair sex; and Jack was a +handsome, fine-looking fellow, of excellent manners, and very agreeable +conversation, at the same time, neither he nor his friend were in their +general deportment and behaviour otherwise than most respectful. + +"Ladies, as you are not afraid of me, which is a greater happiness than +I had reason to expect, I think you may be amused to witness the fear of +those who accuse your sex of cowardice. With your permission, I will +send for the cook and steward, and inquire about the dinner." + +"I should like to know what there is for dinner," observed Mrs Lascelles +demurely; "wouldn't you, Cecilia?" + +Cecilia put her handkerchief to her mouth. + +"Tell the steward and the cook both to come aft immediately," cried +Pickersgill. + +In a few seconds they both made their appearance. + +"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, with a loud voice. + +"Yes, my lord," replied Maddox, with his hat in his hand. + +"What wines have you put out for dinner?" + +"Champagne, my lord; and claret, my lord; and Madeira and sherry, my +lord." + +"No Burgundy, sir?" + +"No, my lord; there is no Burgundy on board." + +"No Burgundy, sir! do you dare to tell me that?" + +"Upon my soul, my lord," cried Maddox, dropping on his knees, "there is +no Burgundy on board--ask the ladies." + +"Very well, sir; you may go." + +"Cook, what have you got for dinner?" + +"Sir, a haunch of mutt--of venison, my lord," replied the cook, with his +white night-cap in his hand. + +"What else, sirrah?" + +"A boiled calf's head, my lord." + +"A boiled calf's head! Let it be roasted, or I'll roast you, sir!" cried +Pickersgill in an angry tone. + +"Yes, my lord; I'll roast it." + +"And what else, sir?" + +"Maintenon cutlets, my lord." + +"Maintenon cutlets! I hate them--I won't have them, sir. Let them be +dressed _à l'ombre Chinoise_." + +"I don't know what that is, my lord." + +"I don't care for that, sirrah; if you don't find out by dinner-time, +you're food for fishes--that's all; you may go." + +The cook walked off wringing his hands and his night-cap as well--for he +still held it in his right hand--and disappeared down the fore-hatchway. + +"I have done this to pay you a deserved compliment, ladies; you have +more courage than the other sex." + +"Recollect that we have had confidence given to us in consequence of +your pledging your word, my lord." + +"You do me, then, the honour of believing me?" + +"I did not until I saw you," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but now I am +convinced that you will perform your promise." + +"You do, indeed, encourage me, madam, to pursue what is right," said +Pickersgill, bowing; "for your approbation I should be most sorry to +lose, still more sorry to prove myself unworthy of it." + +As the reader will observe, everything was going on remarkably well. + + + + +Chapter VI + +THE SMUGGLING YACHT + + +Cecilia returned to the cabin, to ascertain whether her aunt was more +composed; but Mrs Lascelles remained on deck. She was much pleased with +Pickersgill; and they continued their conversation. Pickersgill entered +into a defence of his conduct to Lord B.; and Mrs Lascelles could not +but admit the provocation. After a long conversation, she hinted at his +profession, and how superior he appeared to be to such a lawless life. + +"You may be incredulous, madam," replied Pickersgill, "if I tell you +that I have as good a right to quarter my arms as Lord B. himself; and +that I am not under my real name. Smuggling is, at all events, no crime; +and I infinitely prefer the wild life I lead at the head of my men, to +being spurned by society because I am poor. The greatest crime in this +country is poverty. I may, if I am fortunate, some day resume my name. +You may, perhaps, meet me, and, if you please, you may expose me." + +"That I should not be likely to do," replied the widow; "but still I +regret to see a person, evidently intended for better things, employed +in so disreputable a profession." + +"I hardly know, madam, what is and what is not disreputable in this +conventional world. It is not considered disreputable to cringe to the +vices of a court, or to accept a pension wrung from the industry of the +nation, in return for base servility. It is not considered disreputable +to take tithes, intended for the service of God, and lavish them away at +watering-places or elsewhere, seeking pleasure instead of doing God +service. It is not considered disreputable to take fee after fee to +uphold injustice, to plead against innocence, to pervert truth, and to +aid the devil. It is not considered disreputable to gamble on the Stock +Exchange, or to corrupt the honesty of electors by bribes, to doing +which the penalty attached is equal to that decreed to the offence of +which I am guilty. All these, and much more, are not considered +disreputable; yet, by all these are the moral bonds of society loosened, +while in mine we cause no guilt in others--" + +"But still it is a crime." + +"A violation of the revenue laws, and no more. Observe, madam, the +English Government encourage the smuggling of our manufactures to the +Continent, at the same time that they take every step to prevent +articles being smuggled into this country. Now, madam, can that be a +_crime_, when the head of the vessel is turned north, which becomes _no +crime_ when she steers the opposite way?" + +"There is a stigma attached to it, you must allow." + +"That I grant you, madam; and as soon as I can quit the profession I +shall. No captive ever sighed more to be released from his chains; but I +will not leave it, till I find that I am in a situation not to be +spurned and neglected by those with whom I have a right to associate." + +At this moment, the steward was seen forward making signs to Mrs +Lascelles, who excused herself, and went to him. + +"For the love of God, madam," said Maddox, "as he appears to be friendly +with you, do pray find out how these cutlets are to be dressed; the cook +is tearing his hair, and we shall never have any dinner; and then it +will all fall upon me, and I--shall be tossed overboard." + +Mrs Lascelles desired poor Maddox to wait there while she obtained the +desired information. In a few minutes she returned to him. + +"I have found it out. They are first to be boiled in vinegar; then fried +in batter, and served up with a sauce of anchovy and Malaga raisins!" + +"First fried in vinegar; then boiled in batter, and served up with +almonds and raisins!" + +"No--no!" Mrs Lascelles repeated the injunction to the frightened +steward; and then returned aft, and re-entered into a conversation with +Pickersgill, in which for the first time, Corbett now joined. Corbett +had sense enough to feel, that the less he came forward until his +superior had established himself in the good graces of the ladies, the +more favourable would be the result. + +In the mean time Cecilia had gone down to her aunt, who still continued +to wail and lament. The young lady tried all she could to console her, +and to persuade her that if they were civil and obedient they had +nothing to fear. + +"Civil and obedient, indeed!" cried Miss Ossulton, "to a fellow who is a +smuggler and a pirate! I, the sister of Lord B.! Never! The presumption +of the wretch!" + +"That is all very well, aunt; but recollect, we must submit to +circumstances. These men insist upon our dining with them; and we must +go, or we shall have no dinner." + +"I sit down with a pirate! Never! I'll have no dinner--I'll starve--I'll +die!" + +"But, my dear aunt, it's the only chance we have of obtaining our +release; and if you do not do it Mrs Lascelles will think that you wish +to remain with them." + +"Mrs Lascelles judges of other people by herself." + +"The captain is certainly a very well-behaved, handsome man. He looks +like a nobleman in disguise. What an odd thing it would be, aunt, if +this should be all a hoax!" + +"A hoax, child?" replied Miss Ossulton, sitting up on the sofa. + +Cecilia found that she had hit the right nail, as the saying is; and she +brought forward so many arguments to prove that she thought it was a +hoax to frighten them, and that the gentleman above was a man of +consequence, that her aunt began to listen to reason, and at last +consented to join the dinner-party. Mrs Lascelles now came down below; +and when dinner was announced they repaired to the large cabin, where +they found Pickersgill and Corbett waiting for them. + +Miss Ossulton did not venture to look up, until she heard Pickersgill +say to Mrs Lascelles, "Perhaps, madam, you will do me the favour to +introduce me to that lady, whom I have not had the honour of seeing +before?" + +"Certainly, my lord," replied Mrs Lascelles. "Miss Ossulton, the aunt of +this young lady." + +Mrs Lascelles purposely did not introduce _his lordship_ in return, that +she might mystify the old spinster. + +"I feel highly honoured in finding myself in the company of Miss +Ossulton," said Pickersgill. "Ladies, we wait but for you to sit down. +Ossulton, take the head of the table and serve the soup." + +Miss Ossulton was astonished; she looked at the smugglers, and perceived +two well-dressed gentlemanly men, one of whom was apparently a lord, and +the other having the same family name. + +"It must be all a hoax," thought she; and she very quietly took to her +soup. + +The dinner passed off very pleasantly; Pickersgill was agreeable, +Corbett funny, and Miss Ossulton so far recovered herself as to drink +wine with his lordship, and to ask Corbett what branch of their family +he belonged to. + +"I presume it's the Irish branch," said Mrs Lascelles, prompting him. + +"Exactly, madam," replied Corbett. + +"Have you ever been to Torquay, ladies?" inquired Pickersgill. + +"No, my lord," answered Mrs Lascelles. + +"We shall anchor there in the course of an hour, and probably remain +there till to-morrow. Steward, bring coffee. Tell the cook these cutlets +were remarkably well dressed." + +The ladies retired to the cabin. Miss Ossulton was now convinced that it +was all a hoax; but said she, "I shall tell Lord B. my opinion of their +practical jokes when he returns. What is his lordship's name who is on +board?" + +"He won't tell us," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but I think I know; it is +Lord Blarney." + +"Lord Blaney you mean, I presume," said Miss Ossulton; "however, the +thing is carried too far. Cecilia, we will go on shore at Torquay, and +wait till the yacht returns with Lord B. I don't like these jokes; they +may do very well for widows, and people of no rank." + +Now, Mrs Lascelles was sorry to find Miss Ossulton so much at her ease. +She owed her no little spite, and wished for revenge. Ladies will go +very far to obtain this. How far Mrs Lascelles would have gone, I will +not pretend to say; but this is certain, that the last innuendo of Miss +Ossulton very much added to her determination. She took her bonnet and +went on deck, at once told Pickersgill that he could not please her or +Cecilia more than by frightening Miss Ossulton, who, under the idea that +it was all a hoax, had quite recovered her spirits; talked of her pride +and ill-nature, and wished her to receive a useful lesson. Thus, to +follow up her revenge, did Mrs Lascelles commit herself so far, as to be +confidential with the smuggler in return. + +"Mrs Lascelles, I shall be able to obey you, and, at the same time, to +combine business with pleasure." + +After a short conversation, the yacht dropped her anchor at Torquay. It +was then about two hours before sunset. As soon as the sails were +furled, one or two gentlemen, who resided there, came on board to pay +their respects to Lord B.; and, as Pickersgill had found out from +Cecilia that her father was acquainted with no one there, he received +them in person; asked them down in the cabin; called for wine; and +desired them to send their boat away, as his own was going on shore. The +smugglers took great care, that the steward, cook, and lady's maid, +should have no communication with the guests; one of them, by Corbett's +direction, being a sentinel over each individual. The gentlemen remained +about half-an-hour on board, during which Corbett and the smugglers had +filled the portmanteaus found in the cabin with the lace, and they were +put in the boat. Corbett then landed the gentlemen in the same boat, and +went up to the hotel, the smugglers following him with the portmanteaus, +without any suspicion or interruption. As soon as he was there, he +ordered post-horses, and set off for a town close by, where he had +correspondents; and thus the major part of the cargo was secured. +Corbett then returned in the night, bringing with him people to receive +the goods; and the smugglers landed the silks, teas, &c., with the same +good fortune. Everything was out of the yacht except a portion of the +lace, which the portmanteaus would not hold. Pickersgill might easily +have sent this on shore; but, to please Mrs Lascelles, he arranged +otherwise. + +The next morning, about an hour after breakfast was finished, Mrs +Lascelles entered the cabin pretending to be in the greatest +consternation, and fell on the sofa as if she were going to faint. + +"Good heavens! what is the matter?" exclaimed Cecilia, who knew very +well what was coming. + +"Oh, the wretch! he has made such proposals!" + +"Proposals! what proposals? what! Lord Blaney?" cried Miss Ossulton. + +"Oh, he's no lord! he's a villain and a smuggler! and he insists that we +shall both fill our pockets full of lace, and go on shore with him." + +"Mercy on me! Then it is no hoax after all; and I've been sitting down +to dinner with a smuggler!" + +"Sitting down, madam!--if it were to be no more than that--but we are to +take his arm up to the hotel. Oh, dear! Cecilia, I am ordered on deck, +pray come with me!" + +Miss Ossulton rolled on the sofa, and rang for Phoebe; she was in a +state of great alarm. + +A knock at the door. + +"Come in," said Miss Ossulton, thinking it was Phoebe; when Pickersgill +made his appearance. + +"What do you want, sir? Go out, sir! go out directly, or I'll scream!" + +"It is no use screaming, madam; recollect that all on board are at my +service. You will oblige me by listening to me, Miss Ossulton. I am, as +you know, a smuggler, and I must send this lace on shore. You will +oblige me by putting it into your pockets, or about your person, and +prepare to go on shore with me. As soon as we arrive at the hotel, you +will deliver it to me, and I then shall reconduct you on board of the +yacht. You are not the first lady who has gone on shore with contraband +articles about her person." + +"Me, sir! go on shore in that way? No, sir, never! What will the world +say? the Hon. Miss Ossulton walking with a smuggler! No, sir, never!" + +"Yes, madam, walking arm-in-arm with a smuggler: I shall have you on one +arm, and Mrs Lascelles on the other; and I would advise you to take it +very quietly; for, in the first place, it will be you who smuggle, as +the goods will be found on your person, and you will certainly be put in +prison, for, at the least appearance of insubordination, we run and +inform against you; and, further, your niece will remain on board as a +hostage for your good behaviour, and if you have any regard for her +liberty, you will consent immediately." + +Pickersgill left the cabin, and shortly afterwards Cecilia and Mrs +Lascelles entered, apparently much distressed. They had been informed of +all, and Mrs Lascelles declared, that, for her part, sooner than leave +her poor Cecilia to the mercy of such people, she had made up her mind +to submit to the smuggler's demands. Cecilia also begged so earnestly, +that Miss Ossulton, who had no idea that it was a trick, with much +sobbing and blubbering, consented. + +When all was ready, Cecilia left the cabin; Pickersgill came down, +handed up the two ladies, who had not exchanged a word with each other +during Cecilia's absence; the boat was ready alongside--they went in, +and pulled on shore. Everything succeeded to the smuggler's +satisfaction. Miss Ossulton, frightened out of her wits, took his arm; +and, with Mrs Lascelles on the other, they went up to the hotel, +followed by four of his boat's crew. As soon as they were shown into a +room, Corbett, who was already on shore, asked for Lord B., and joined +them. The ladies retired to another apartment, divested themselves of +their contraband goods, and, after calling for some sandwiches and wine, +Pickersgill waited an hour, and then returned on board. Mrs Lascelles +was triumphant; and she rewarded her new ally, the smuggler, with one of +her sweetest smiles. Community of interest will sometimes make strange +friendships. + + + + +Chapter VII + +CONCLUSION + + +We must now return to the other parties who have assisted in the acts of +this little drama. Lord B., after paddling and paddling, the men +relieving each other in order to make head against the wind which was +off shore, arrived about midnight at a small town in West Bay, from +whence he took a chaise on to Portsmouth, taking it for granted that his +yacht would arrive as soon as, if not before himself, little imagining +that it was in possession of the smugglers. There he remained three or +four days, when, becoming impatient, he applied to one of his friends +who had a yacht at Cowes, and sailed with him to look after his own. + +We left the _Happy-go-lucky_ chased by the revenue cutter. At first the +smuggler had the advantage before the wind; but, by degrees, the wind +went round with the sun, and brought the revenue cutter to leeward: it +was then a chase on a wind, and the revenue cutter came fast up with +her. + +Morrison, perceiving that he had no chance of escape, let run the ankers +of brandy that he might not be condemned; but still he was in an awkward +situation, as he had more men on board than allowed by Act of +Parliament. He therefore stood on, notwithstanding the shot of the +cutter went over and over him, hoping that a fog or night might enable +him to escape; but he had no such good fortune,--one of the shot carried +away the head of his mast, and the _Happy-go-lucky's_ luck was all over. +He was boarded and taken possession of; he asserted that the extra men +were only passengers; but, in the first place, they were dressed in +seamen's clothes; and, in the second, as soon as the boat was aboard of +her, Appleboy had gone down to his gin-toddy, and was not to be +disturbed. The gentlemen smugglers therefore passed an uncomfortable +night; and the cutter going to Portland by daylight before Appleboy was +out of bed, they were taken on shore to the magistrate. Hautaine +explained the whole affair, and they were immediately released and +treated with respect; but they were not permitted to depart until they +were bound over to appear against the smugglers, and prove the brandy +having been on board. They then set off for Portsmouth in the seamen's +clothes, having had quite enough of yachting for that season, Mr +Ossulton declaring that he only wanted to get his luggage, and then he +would take care how he put himself again in the way of the shot of a +revenue cruiser, or of sleeping a night on her decks. + +In the mean time Morrison and his men were locked up in the jail, the +old man, as the key was turned on him, exclaiming, as he raised his foot +in vexation, "That cursed blue pigeon!" + +We will now return to the yacht. + +About an hour after Pickersgill had come on board, Corbett had made all +his arrangements and followed him. It was not advisable to remain at +Torquay any longer, through fear of discovery; he, therefore, weighed +the anchor before dinner, and made sail. + +"What do you intend to do now, my lord?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"I intend to run down to Cowes, anchor the yacht in the night; and an +hour before daylight have you in my boat with all my men. I will take +care that you are in perfect safety, depend upon it, even if I run a +risk. I should, indeed, be miserable, if, through my wild freaks, any +accident should happen to Mrs Lascelles or Miss Ossulton." + +"I am very anxious about my father," observed Cecilia. "I trust that you +will keep your promise." + +"I always have hitherto, Miss Ossulton; have I not?" + +"Ours is but a short and strange acquaintance." + +"I grant it; but it will serve for you to talk about long after. I shall +disappear as suddenly as I have come--you will neither of you, in all +probability, ever see me again." + +The dinner was announced, and they sat down to table as before; but the +elderly spinster refused to make her appearance; and Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia, who thought she had been frightened enough, did not attempt to +force her. Pickersgill immediately yielded to these remonstrances, and, +from that time she remained undisturbed in the ladies' cabin, meditating +over the indignity of having sat down to table, having drank wine, and +been obliged to walk on shore, taking the arm of a smuggler, and appear +in such a humiliating situation. + +The wind was light, and they made but little progress, and were not +abreast of Portland till the second day, when another yacht appeared in +sight, and the two vessels slowly neared until in the afternoon they +were within four miles of each other. It then fell a dead calm--signals +were thrown out by the other yacht, but could not be distinguished, and, +for the last time, they sat down to dinner. Three days' companionship on +board of a vessel, cooped up together, and having no one else to +converse with, will produce intimacy; and Pickersgill was a young man of +so much originality and information, that he was listened to with +pleasure. He never attempted to advance beyond the line of strict +decorum and politeness; and his companion was equally unpresuming. +Situated as they were, and feeling what must have been the case had they +fallen into other hands, both Cecilia and Mrs Lascelles felt some degree +of gratitude towards him; and, although anxious to be relieved from so +strange a position, they had gradually acquired a perfect confidence in +him, and this had produced a degree of familiarity, on their parts, +although never ventured upon by the smuggler. As Corbett was at the +table, one of the men came down and made a sign. Corbett shortly after +quitted the table and went on deck. "I wish, my lord, you would come up +a moment, and see if you can make this flag out," said Corbett, giving a +significant nod to Pickersgill. "Excuse me, ladies, one moment," said +Pickersgill, who went on deck. + +"It is the boat of the yacht coming on board," said Corbett; "and Lord +B. is in the stern-sheets with the gentleman who was with him." + +"And how many men in the boat?--let me see--only four. Well, let his +lordship and his friend come: when they are on the deck, have the men +ready in case of accident; but if you can manage to tell the boat's crew +that they are to go on board again, and get rid of them that way, so +much the better. Arrange this with Adams, and then come down again--his +lordship must see us all at dinner." + +Pickersgill then descended, and Corbett had hardly time to give his +directions and to resume his seat, before his lordship and Mr Stewart +pulled up alongside and jumped on deck. There was no one to receive them +but the seamen, and those whom they did not know. They looked round in +amazement; at last his lordship said to Adams, who stood forward, + +"What men are you?" + +"Belong to the yacht, ye'r honour." + +Lord B. heard laughing in the cabin; he would not wait to interrogate +the men; he walked aft, followed by Mr Stewart, looked down the +skylight, and perceived his daughter and Mrs Lascelles with, as he +supposed, Hautaine and Ossulton. + +Pickersgill had heard the boat rub the side, and the sound of the feet +on deck, and he talked the more loudly, that the ladies might be caught +by Lord B. as they were. He heard their feet at the skylight, and knew +that they could hear what passed; and at that moment he proposed to the +ladies that as this was their last meeting at table they should all take +a glass of champagne to drink to "their happy meeting with Lord B." This +was a toast which they did not refuse. Maddox poured out the wine, and +they were all bowing to each other, when his lordship, who had come down +the ladder, walked into the cabin, followed by Mr Stewart. Cecilia +perceived her father; the champagne-glass dropped from her hand--she +flew into his arms, and burst into tears. + +"Who would not be a father, Mrs Lascelles?" said Pickersgill, quietly +seating himself, after having first risen to receive Lord B. + +"And pray, whom may I have the honour of finding established here?" said +Lord B., in an angry tone, speaking over his daughter's head, who still +lay in his arms. "By heavens, yes?--Stewart, it is the smuggling captain +dressed out." + +"Even so, my lord," replied Pickersgill. "You abandoned your yacht to +capture me; you left these ladies in a vessel crippled for want of men; +they might have been lost. I have returned good for evil by coming on +board with my own people, and taking charge of them. This night, I +expected to have anchored your vessel in Cowes, and have left them in +safety." + +"By the--" cried Stewart. + +"Stop, sir, if you please!" cried Pickersgill; "recollect you have once +already attacked one who never offended. Oblige me by refraining from +intemperate language; for I tell you I will not put up with it. +Recollect, sir, that I have refrained from that, and also from taking +advantage of you when you were in my power. Recollect, sir, also, that +the yacht is still in possession of the smugglers, and that you are in +no condition to insult with impunity. My lord, allow me to observe, that +we men are too hot of temperament to argue, or listen coolly. With your +permission, your friend, and my friend, and I, will repair on deck, +leaving you to hear from your daughter and that lady all that has +passed. After that, my lord, I shall be most happy to hear anything +which your lordship may please to say." + +"Upon my word--" commenced Mr Stewart. + +"Mr Stewart," interrupted Cecilia Ossulton, "I request your silence; +nay, more, if ever we are again to sail in the same vessel together, I +_insist_ upon it." + +"Your lordship will oblige me by enforcing Miss Ossulton's request," +said Mrs Lascelles. + +Mr Stewart was dumbfounded, no wonder, to find the ladies siding with +the smuggler. + +"I am obliged to you ladies for your interference," said Pickersgill; +"for, although I have the means of enforcing conditions, I should be +sorry to avail myself of them. I wait for his lordship's reply." + +Lord B. was very much surprised. He wished for an explanation; he bowed +with _hauteur_. Everybody appeared to be in a false position; even he, +Lord B., somehow or another had bowed to a smuggler. + +Pickersgill and Stewart went on deck, walking up and down, crossing each +other without speaking, but reminding you of two dogs who both are +anxious to fight, but have been restrained by the voice of their +masters. Corbett followed, and talked in a low tone to Pickersgill; +Stewart went over to leeward to see if the boat was still alongside, but +it had long before returned to the yacht. Miss Ossulton had heard her +brother's voice, but did not come out of the after-cabin; she wished to +be magnificent and, at the same time, she was not sure whether all was +right, Phoebe having informed her that there was nobody with her brother +and Mr Stewart, and that the smugglers still had the command of the +vessel. After a while, Pickersgill and Corbett went down forward, and +returned dressed in the smuggler's clothes, when they resumed their walk +on the deck. + +In the mean time, it was dark; the cutter flew along the coast; and the +Needles' lights were on the larboard bow. The conversation between +Cecilia, Mrs Lascelles, and her father, was long. When all had been +detailed, and the conduct of Pickersgill duly represented, Lord B. +acknowledged that, by attacking the smuggler, he had laid himself open +to retaliation; that Pickersgill had shown a great deal of forbearance +in every instance; and, after all, had he not gone on board the yacht +she might have been lost, with only three seamen on board. He was amused +with the smuggling and the fright of his sister; still more with the +gentlemen being sent to Cherbourg, and much consoled that he was not the +only one to be laughed at. He was also much pleased with Pickersgill's +intention of leaving the yacht safe in Cowes harbour, his respect to the +property on board, and his conduct to the ladies. On the whole, he felt +grateful to Pickersgill; and where there is gratitude there is always +good will. + +"But who can he be?" said Mrs Lascelles; "his name he acknowledges not +to be Pickersgill; and he told me confidentially that he was of good +family." + +"Confidentially, my dear Mrs Lascelles!" said Lord B. + +"Oh, yes! we are both his confidants. Are we not, Cecilia?" + +"Upon my honour, Mrs Lascelles, this smuggler appears to have made an +impression which many have attempted in vain." + +Mrs Lascelles did not reply to that remark, but said, "Now, my lord, you +must decide--and I trust you will to oblige us--treat him as he has +treated us, with the greatest respect and kindness." + +"Why should you suppose otherwise?" replied Lord B.; "it is not only my +wish but my interest so to do. He may take us over to France to-night, +or anywhere else. Has he not possession of the vessel?" + +"Yes," replied Cecilia; "but we flatter ourselves that we have _the +command_. Shall we call him down, papa?" + +"Ring for Maddox. Maddox, tell Mr Pickersgill, who is on deck, that I +wish to speak with him, and shall be obliged by his stepping down into +the cabin." + +"Who, my lord? What? _Him_?" + +"Yes, _him_," replied Cecilia, laughing. + +"Must I call him, my lord, now, miss?" + +"You may do as you please, Maddox; but recollect, he is still in +possession of the vessel," replied Cecilia. + +"Then, with your lordship's permission, I will; it's the safest way." + +The smuggler entered the cabin; the ladies started as he appeared in his +rough costume, with his throat open, and his loose black handkerchief. +He was the _beau idéal_ of a handsome sailor. + +"Your lordship wishes to communicate with me?" + +"Mr Pickersgill, I feel that you have had cause of enmity against me, +and that you have behaved with forbearance. I thank you for your +considerate treatment of the ladies; and I assure you, that I feel no +resentment for what has passed." + +"My lord, I am quite satisfied with what you have said; and I only hope +that, in future, you will not interfere with a poor smuggler, who may be +striving, by a life of danger and privation, to procure subsistence for +himself and, perhaps, his family. I stated to these ladies my intention +of anchoring the yacht this night at Cowes, and leaving her as soon as +she was in safety. Your unexpected presence will only make this +difference, which is, that I must previously obtain your lordship's +assurance that those with you will allow me and my men to quit her +without molestation, after we have performed this service." + +"I pledge you my word, Mr Pickersgill, and I thank you into the bargain. +I trust you will allow me to offer some remuneration." + +"Most certainly not, my lord." + +"At all events, Mr Pickersgill, if, at any other time, I can be of +service, you may command me." + +Pickersgill made no reply. + +"Surely, Mr Pickersgill,--" + +"Pickersgill! how I hate that name!" said the smuggler, musing. "I beg +your lordship's pardon--if I may require your assistance for any of my +unfortunate companions--" + +"Not for yourself, Mr Pickersgill?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"Madam, I smuggle no more." + +"For the pleasure I feel in hearing that resolution, Mr Pickersgill," +said Cecilia, "take my hand and thanks." + +"And mine," said Mrs Lascelles, half crying. + +"And mine, too," said Lord B., rising up. + +Pickersgill passed the back of his hand across his eyes, turned round, +and left the cabin. + +"I'm so happy!" said Mrs Lascelles, bursting into tears. + +"He's a magnificent fellow," observed Lord B. "Come, let us all go on +deck." + +"You have not seen my aunt, papa." + +"True; I'll go in to her, and then follow you." + +The ladies went upon deck. Cecilia entered into conversation with Mr +Stewart, giving him a narrative of what had happened. Mrs Lascelles sat +abaft at the taffrail, with her pretty hand supporting her cheek, +looking very much _à la Juliette_. + +"Mrs Lascelles," said Pickersgill, "before we part, allow me to observe, +that it is _you_ who have induced me to give up my profession--" + +"Why me, Mr Pickersgill?" + +"You said that you did not like it." + +Mrs Lascelles felt the force of the compliment. "You said, just now, +that you hated the name of Pickersgill: why do you call yourself so?" + +"It was my smuggling name, Mrs Lascelles." + +"And now, that you have left off smuggling, pray what may be the name we +are to call you by?" + +"I cannot resume it till I have not only left this vessel, but shaken +hands with, and bid farewell to, my companions; and by that time, Mrs +Lascelles, I shall be away from you." + +"But I've a great curiosity to know it, and a lady's curiosity must be +gratified. You must call upon me some day, and tell it me. Here is my +address." + +Pickersgill received the card with a low bow: and Lord B. coming on +deck, Mrs Lascelles hastened to meet him. + +The vessel was now passing the Bridge at the Needles, and the smuggler +piloted her on. As soon as they were clear and well inside, the whole +party went down into the cabin, Lord B. requesting Pickersgill and +Corbett to join him in a parting glass. Mr Stewart, who had received the +account of what had passed from Cecilia, was very attentive to +Pickersgill, and took an opportunity of saying, that he was sorry that +he had said or done anything to annoy him. Every one recovered his +spirits; and all was good humour and mirth, because Miss Ossulton +adhered to her resolution of not quitting the cabin till she could quit +the yacht. At ten o'clock the yacht was anchored. Pickersgill took his +leave of the honourable company, and went in his boat with his men; and +Lord B. was again in possession of his vessel, although he had not a +ship's company. Maddox recovered his usual tone; and the cook flourished +his knife, swearing that he should like to see the smuggler who would +again order him to dress cutlets _à l'ombre Chinoise_. + +The yacht had remained three days at Cowes, when Lord B. received a +letter from Pickersgill, stating that the men of his vessel had been +captured, and would be condemned, in consequence of their having the +gentlemen on board, who were bound to appear against them, to prove that +they had sunk the brandy. Lord B. paid all the recognisances, and the +men were liberated for want of evidence. + +It was about two years after this that Cecilia Ossulton, who was sitting +at her work-table in deep mourning for her aunt, was presented with a +letter by the butler. It was from her friend Mrs Lascelles, informing +her that she was married again to a Mr Davenant, and intended to pay her +a short visit on her way to the Continent. Mr and Mrs Davenant arrived +the next day; and when the latter introduced her husband, she said to +Miss Ossulton, "Look, Cecilia, dear, and tell me if you have ever seen +Davenant before." + +Cecilia looked earnestly: "I have, indeed," cried she at last, extending +her hand with warmth; "and happy am I to meet with him again." + +For in Mr Davenant she recognised her old acquaintance, the captain of +the _Happy-go-lucky_, Jack Pickersgill, the smuggler. + + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, +Vol. 1-2, by Captain Frederick Marryat + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PETER SIMPLE *** + +***** This file should be named 13148-8.txt or 13148-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/1/4/13148/ + +Produced by Ted Garvin, Carol David and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/13148-8.zip b/old/13148-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..313fe6e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13148-8.zip diff --git a/old/13148.txt b/old/13148.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..58760c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13148.txt @@ -0,0 +1,22592 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 +by Frederick Marryat + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 + +Author: Frederick Marryat + +Release Date: August 9, 2004 [EBook #13148] +[Last updated September 12, 2020] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PETER SIMPLE *** + + + + +Produced by Ted Garvin, Carol David and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + +[Transcriber's note: The spelling inconsistencies of the original have +been retained in this etext. In some cases, they have been denoted by +[sic].] + +PETER SIMPLE + +AND + +THE THREE CUTTERS + +BY +CAPTAIN MARRYAT + +VOL I + +LONDON + +J.M. DENT AND CO +BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN AND CO. +MDCCCXCV + + + + +Contents + +VOLUME I + + +LIST OF MARRYAT'S WORKS, ETC ix +BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION xi +PREFATORY NOTE TO PETER SIMPLE AND THE THREE CUTTERS xxxiv + +_PETER SIMPLE_ + +CHAPTER I 1 + +CHAPTER II 7 + +CHAPTER III 12 + +CHAPTER IV 18 + +CHAPTER V 24 + +CHAPTER VI 30 + +CHAPTER VII 37 + +CHAPTER VIII 43 + +CHAPTER IX 52 + +CHAPTER X 60 + +CHAPTER XI 67 + +CHAPTER XII 74 + +CHAPTER XIII 87 + +CHAPTER XIV 98 + +CHAPTER XV 111 + +CHAPTER XVI 124 + +CHAPTER XVII 139 + +CHAPTER XVIII 148 + +CHAPTER XIX 157 + +CHAPTER XX 164 + +CHAPTER XXI 172 + +CHAPTER XXII 181 + +CHAPTER XXIII 191 + +CHAPTER XXIV 197 + +CHAPTER XXV 203 + +CHAPTER XXVI 212 + +CHAPTER XXVII 219 + +CHAPTER XXVIII 228 + +CHAPTER XXIX 239 + +CHAPTER XXX 247 + + + + + + +LIST OF MARRYAT'S WORKS. + +IN THE ORDER OF PUBLICATION. + +By FREDERICK MARRYAT. _Born_, July 1792. _Died_, Aug. 1848. + +*SUGGESTIONS FOR THE ABOLITION OF THE PRESENT SYSTEM + OF IMPRESSMENT IN THE NAVAL SERVICE 1822 + +ADVENTURES OF A NAVAL OFFICER, OR FRANK MILDMAY 1829 + +THE KING'S OWN 1830 + +NEWTON FORSTER 1832 + +PETER SIMPLE 1834 + +JACOB FAITHFUL 1834 + +PACHA OF MANY TALES 1835 + +MR MIDSHIPMAN EASY 1836 + +JAPHET IN SEARCH OF A FATHER 1836 + +THE PIRATE AND THE THREE CUTTERS 1836 + +*A CODE OF SIGNALS FOR THE USE OF VESSELS EMPLOYED + IN THE MERCHANT SERVICE 1837 + +SNARLEY-YOW, OR THE DOG FIEND 1837 + +THE PHANTOM SHIP 1839 + +*DIARY IN AMERICA 1839 + +OLLA PODRIDA 1840 + +POOR JACK 1840 + +MASTERMAN READY 1841 + +JOSEPH RUSHBROOK, OR THE POACHER 1841 + +PERCIVAL KEENE 1842 + +NARRATIVE OF THE TRAVELS AND ADVENTURES OF MONSIEUR + VIOLET 1843 + +SETTLERS IN CANADA 1844 + +THE MISSION, OR SCENES IN AFRICA 1845 + +THE PRIVATEER'S MAN 1846 + +THE CHILDREN OF THE NEW FOREST 1847 + +THE LITTLE SAVAGE 1848-49 + +VALERIE 1849 + + + +This edition will include all the novels and tales, only omitting the +three items marked in the above list with an asterisk. The text will be, +for the most part, that of the first editions, except for the correction +of a few obvious errors and some modernisation of spelling. _Rattlin the +Reefer,_ so frequently attributed to Marryat, will not be reprinted +here. It was written by Edward Howard, subeditor, under Marryat, of the +_The Metropolitan Magazine,_ and author of _Outward Bound,_ etc. On the +title-page it is described simply as _edited_ by Marryat and, according +to his daughter, the Captain did no more than stand literary sponsor to +the production. In 1850, Saunders and Otley published:--_The Floral +Telegraph, or, Affections Signals_ by the late Captain Marryat, R.N., +but Mrs Lean knows nothing of the book, and it is probably not Marryat's +work. + +_The Life and Letters of Captain Marryat: by Florence Marryat (Mrs +Lean), in 2 vols.: Richard Bentley_ 1872, are the only biographical +record of the novelist extant. In some matters they are very detailed +and personal, in others reticent. The story has been spiritedly retold, +with reflections and criticisms, by Mr David Hannay in the "Great +Writers" Series, 1889. + +The frontispiece is from a print, published by Henry Colburn in 1836, +after the portrait by Simpson, the favourite pupil of Sir Thomas +Lawrence, which was "considered more like him than any other." Count +D'Orsay took a portrait of Marryat, in coloured crayons, about 1840, but +it was not a success. A portrait, in water colours, by Behnes, was +engraved as a frontispiece to _The Pirate and The Three Cutters._ His +bust was taken by Carew. + +R.B.J. + + + + +Frederick Marryat + + +Without yielding implicit credence to the handsome pedigree of the +Marryats supplied by Mrs Lean, the novelist's daughter, we may give a +glance in passing to the first-fruits of this family tree. They-- +naturally--came over with the Conqueror, and emerged from obscurity +under Stephen as the proud "possessors of much lands at the village of +Meryat, Ashton Meryat, and elsewhere in Somersetshire ... One Nicotas de +Maryet is deputed to collect the ransom of Richard Coeur de Leon through +the county of Somerset ... In the reign of Edward I., Sir John de +Maryet is called to attend the Great Parliament; in that of Edward II., +his son is excommunicated for embowelling his deceased wife; 'a fancy,' +says the county historian, 'peculiar to the knightly family of Meryat.'" +Mrs Lean quotes records of other Meryat "hearts" to which an honourable +burial has been accorded. The house of Meryat finally lost its property +on the fall of Lady Jane Grey, to whom it had descended through the +female line. + +Captain Marryat belonged to the Suffolk branch of the family, of whom +"one John de Maryat had the honour of dancing in a masque before the +Virgin Queen at Trinity College, Cambridge ... was sent to aid the +Huguenots in their wars in France ... escaped the massacre of St +Bartholemew and, in 1610, returned to England." Here he married "Mary, +the daughter and heiress of Daniel Luke, of the Covent Garden (a rank +Puritan family in _Hudibras_), and again settled in his paternal county +of Suffolk." Less partial biographers neglect to trace the Marryats +beyond this Huguenot officer, who is described by them as a refugee. + +Whatever may be the truth of these matters, it is certain that during +the 17th and 18th centuries the Maryats were a respectable, middle-class +Puritan family--ministers, doctors, and business men. In the days of the +merry monarch a John Marryat became distinguished as a "painful +preacher," and was twice expelled from his livings for non-conformity. +Captain Marryat's grandfather was a good doctor, and his father, Joseph +Marryat of Wimbledon House, was an M.P., chairman for the committee of +Lloyd's, and colonial agent for the island of Grenada--a substantial +man, who refused a baronetcy, and was honoured by an elegy from +Campbell. He married Charlotte Geyer, or Von Geyer, a Hessian of good +descent. + +Frederick, born July 10, 1792, was one of fifteen sons and daughters, +"of whom ten attained maturity, and several have entered the lists of +literature." His eldest brother, Joseph, was a famous collector of +china, and author of _Pottery and Porcelain_; the youngest, Horace, +wrote _One Year in Sweden, Jutland and the Danish Isles_; and his +sister, Mrs Bury Palliser, was the author of _Nature and Art_ (not to be +confounded with Mrs Inchbald's novel of that name), _The History of +Lace_, and _Historic Devices, Badges and War Cries_. His father and +grandfather published political and medical works, respectively, while +the generation below was equally prolific. Marryat's youngest son, +Frank, described his travels in _Borneo and the Eastern Archipelago_ and +_Mountains and Molehills_, or _Recollections of a Burnt Journal_; and +his daughter Florence, Mrs Lean, the author of his _Life and Letters_, +has written a great many popular novels. + +We can record little of Marryat's boyhood beyond a general impression of +his discontent with school-masters and parents. Mr Hannay is probably +right in regarding his hard pictures of home and school life as +reflections of his own experience. + +It is said that on one occasion he was found to be engaged in the +pursuit of knowledge while standing on his head; and that he accounted +for the circumstance with a humorous philosophy almost worthy of Jack +Easy--"Well! I've been trying for three hours to learn it on my feet, +but I couldn't, so I thought I would try whether it would be easier to +learn it on my head." Another anecdote, of a contest with his +school-fellow Babbage, is interesting and characteristic. It appears +that the inventor of the calculating machine, unlike Marryat, was a very +diligent lad; and that he accordingly arranged, with some kindred +spirits, to begin work at three in the morning. The restless Marryat +wished to join the party, but his motives were suspected and the +conspirators adopted the simple expedient of not waking him. Marryat +rolled his bed across the door, and Babbage pushed it away. Marryat tied +a string from his wrist to the door handle, and Babbage unfastened it. A +thicker string was cut, a chain was unlinked by pliers, but at last the +future captain forged a chain that was too stout for the future +mathematician. Babbage, however, secured his revenge; as soon as his +comrade was safely asleep he slipped a piece of pack thread through the +chain and, carrying the other end to his own bed, was enabled by a few +rapid jerks to waken Marryat whenever he chose. Apparently satisfied +with his victory in the gentle art of tormenting, Babbage yielded +voluntarily upon the original point of dispute. Marryat and others +joined the reading party, transformed it to a scene of carnival, and +were discovered by the authorities. + +Meanwhile Marryat was constantly running away--to sea; according to his +own account because he was obliged to wear his elder brother's old +clothes. On one occasion his father injudiciously sent him back in a +carriage with some money in his pocket. The wise youth slipped out, and +finding his way home by some quiet approach, carried off his younger +brothers to the theatre. He finally ran away from a private tutor, and +Mr Marryat recognised the wisdom of compliance. Being then fourteen, +that is of age to hold a commission, Frederick was allowed to enter the +navy, and on the 23rd of September 1806, he started on his first voyage +on board H.M.S. _Imperieuse_, Captain Lord Cochrane, for the +Mediterranean. + +He could scarcely have entered upon his career under better auspices. In +a line-of-battle ship he would have had no chance of service at this +stage of the war, when the most daring of the French could not be +decoyed out of port; but the frigates had always more exciting work on +hand than mere patrolling. There were cruisers to be captured, +privateers to be cut off, convoys to be taken, and work to be done on +the coast among the forts. And Lord Cochrane, Earl of Dundonald, was not +the man to neglect his opportunities. His daring gallantry and cool +judgment are accredited to most of Marryat's captains, particularly in +_Frank Mildmay_, where the cruise of the _Imperieuse_ along the Spanish +coast is most graphically and literally described. Cochrane's +_Autobiography_ betrays the strong, stern individuality of the man, +invaluable in action, somewhat disturbing in civil life. As a reformer +in season and out of season, at the Admiralty or in the House of +Commons, his zeal became a bye-word, but Marryat knew him only on board +his frigate, as an inspiring leader of men. He never passed an +opportunity of serving his country and winning renown, but his daring +was not reckless. + +"I must here remark," says Marryat in his private log, "that I never +knew any one so careful of the lives of his ship's company as Lord +Cochrane, or any one who calculated so closely the risks attending any +expedition. Many of the most brilliant achievements were performed +without loss of a single life, so well did he calculate the chances; and +one half the merit which he deserves for what he did accomplish has +never been awarded him, merely because, in the official despatches, +there has not been a long list of killed and wounded to please the +appetite of the English public." + +Marryat has left us a graphic account of his first day at sea:-- + + "The _Imperieuse_ sailed; the Admiral of the port was one who _would_ + be obeyed, but _would not_ listen always to reason or common sense. + The signal for sailing was enforced by gun after gun; the anchor was + hove up, and, with all her stores on deck, her guns not even mounted, + in a state of confusion unparalleled from her being obliged to hoist + in faster than it was possible she could stow away, she was driven out + of harbour to encounter a heavy gale. A few hours more would have + enabled her to proceed to sea with security, but they were denied; the + consequences were appalling, they might have been fatal. In the + general confusion some iron too near the binnacles had attracted the + needle of the compasses; the ship was steered out of her course. At + midnight, in a heavy gale at the close of November, so dark that you + could not distinguish any object, however close, the _Imperieuse_ + dashed upon the rocks between Ushant and the Main. The cry of terror + which ran through the lower decks; the grating of the keel as she was + forced in; the violence of the shocks which convulsed the frame of the + vessel; the hurrying up of the ship's company without their clothes; + and then the enormous wave which again bore her up, and carried her + clean over the reef, will never be effaced from my memory." + +This, after all, was not an inappropriate introduction to the stormy +three years which followed it. The story is written in the novels, +particularly _Frank Mildmay[1]_ where every item of his varied and +exciting experience is reproduced with dramatic effect. It would be +impossible to rival Marryat's narrative of episodes, and we shall gain +no sense of reality by adjusting the materials of fiction to an exact +accordance with fact. He says that these books, except _Frank Mildmay,_ +are "wholly fictitious in characters, in plot, and in events," but they +are none the less truthful pictures of his life at sea. Cochrane's +_Autobiography_ contains a history of the _Imperieuse_; it is from +_Peter Simple_ and his companions that we must learn what Marryat +thought and suffered while on board. + +Under Cochrane he cruised along the coast of France from Ushant to the +mouth of the Gironde, saw some active service in the Mediterranean, and, +after a return to the ocean, was finally engaged in the Basque Roads. A +page of his private log contains a lively _resume_ of the whole +experience:-- + + "The cruises of the _Imperieuse_ were periods of continual excitement, + from the hour in which she hove up her anchor till she dropped it + again in port; the day that passed without a shot being fired in + anger, was to us a blank day: the boats were hardly secured on the + booms than they were cast loose and out again; the yard and stay + tackles were forever hoisting up and lowering down. The expedition + with which parties were formed for service; the rapidity of the + frigate's movements night and day; the hasty sleep snatched at all + hours; the waking up at the report of the guns, which seemed the only + keynote to the hearts of those on board, the beautiful precision of + our fire, obtained by constant practice; the coolness and courage of + our captain, inoculating the whole of the ship's company; the + suddenness of our attacks, the gathering after the combat, the killed + lamented, the wounded almost envied; the powder so burnt into our face + that years could not remove it; the proved character of every man and + officer on board, the implicit trust and adoration we felt for our + commander; the ludicrous situations which would occur in the extremest + danger and create mirth when death was staring you in the face, the + hair-breadth escapes, and the indifference to life shown by all--when + memory sweeps along these years of excitement even now, my pulse beats + more quickly with the reminiscence." + +After some comparatively colourless service in other frigates, during +which he gained the personal familiarity with West Indian life of which +his novels show many traces, he completed his time as a midshipman, and +in 1812, returned home to pass. As a lieutenant his cruises were +uneventful and, after being several times invalided, he was promoted +Commander in 1815, just as the Great War was closing. He was now only +twenty-three, and had certainly received an admirable training for the +work with which he was soon to enchant the public. Though never present +at a great battle, and many good officers were in the same position, he +had seen much smart service and knew from others what lay beyond his own +experience. He evidently took copious notes of all he saw and heard. He +had sailed in the North Sea, in the Channel, in the Mediterranean, and +along the Eastern coast of America from Nova Scotia to Surinam. He had +been rapidly promoted. + +It is tolerably obvious that, both as midshipman and lieutenant, he +evinced the cool daring and manly independence that characterises his +heroes, with a dash perhaps of Jack Easy's philosophy. It was a rough +life and he was not naturally amenable to discipline, but probably his +superiors made a favourite of the dashing handsome lad. The habit, which +helps to redeem Frank Mildmay and even graces Peter Simple, of saving +others from drowning, was always his own. His daughter records, with +pardonable pride, that he was presented while in the navy with +twenty-seven certificates, recommendations, and votes of thanks for +having saved the lives of others at the risk of his own, besides +receiving a gold medal from the Humane Society. + +During the peace of 1815 he "occupied himself in acquiring a perfect +knowledge of such branches of science as might prove useful should the +Lords of the Admiralty think fit to employ him in a voyage of discovery +or survey." A vaguely projected expedition to Africa was, however, +relinquished on account of his marriage with "Catherine, second daughter +of Sir Stephen Shairp, Knt., of Houston, Co. Linlithgow (for many years +Her Britannic Majesty's Consul-General, and twice _charge d'affaires_ at +the court of Russia);" which took place in January 1819. In this same +year he was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society, according to +tradition on account of his skill in drawing caricatures. + +He was at sea again soon after his marriage as commander of the _Beaver_ +sloop, in which commission he was sent to mount guard over Napoleon at +St Helena until his death. He took a sketch of the dead emperor in full +profile, which was engraved in England and France, and considered a +striking likeness. He was meanwhile no doubt perfecting the code of +signals for the use of merchant vessels of all nations, including the +cipher for secret correspondence, which was immediately adopted, and +secured to its inventor the Cross of the Legion of Honour from Louis +Philippe. It was not actually published in book form till 1837, from +which date its sale produced an appreciable income. + +After returning in the _Rosario_ with the despatches concerning +Napoleon's death, he was sent to escort the body of Queen Caroline to +Cuxhaven. He was then told off for revenue duty in the Channel, and had +some smart cruising for smugglers until the _Rosario_ was pronounced +unseaworthy and paid off on the 22nd of February 1822. As a result of +this experience he wrote a long despatch to the Admiralty, in which he +freely criticised the working of the preventive service, and made some +practical suggestions for its improvement. In 1822 he also published +_Suggestions for the abolition of the present system of impressment in +the Naval Service_, a pamphlet which is said to have made him unpopular +with Royalty. He frequently in his novels urges the same reform, which +he very earnestly desired. + +He was appointed to the _Larne_ in March 1823, and saw some hard service +against the Burmese, for which he received the thanks of the general and +the Indian Government, the Companionship of the Bath, and the command of +the _Ariadne_. Two years later, in November 1830, he resigned his ship, +and quitted active service, according to Mrs Lean, because of his +appointment as equerry to His Royal Highness the Duke of Sussex. + +He was probably influenced, however, by a distaste for routine duties in +time of peace, the claims of a growing family, and literary ambitions. +He had already published _Frank Mildmay_, and received for it the +handsome sum of L400, and negotiations were very possibly on foot +concerning _The King's Own_, of which the composition had been +completed. + +There is considerable difficulty in following the remainder of Marryat's +life, owing to the silence of our only authority, Mrs Lean. No reasons +can be assigned for the sudden flittings in which he constantly +indulged, or for his hasty journeys to America and to the Continent. He +was clearly impulsive in all things, and, though occasionally shrewd, +betrayed a mania for speculation. Moreover, he was naturally addicted to +the Bohemian pleasures of life, being somewhat promiscuous in +hospitality, and absolutely prodigal in the art of making presents. To +satisfy these various demands on his pocket, he was often driven to +spells of desperate work, in spite of the really handsome sums he +received from the publishers and editors with whom he was always at +variance. + +His first regular establishment was Sussex House, Hampstead, which he +soon "swapped," after dinner and champagne, for a small estate of 1000 +acres at Langham, Norfolk; though he did not finally settle in the +country till 1843. His original occupation of Langham, which realised +him a steady annual deficit, was followed by a return to London, a visit +to Brighton and, in 1835, a journey on the Continent to Brussels and +Lausanne. + +He had, meanwhile, been contributing to _The Metropolitan Magazine,_ +which he edited from 1832 to 1835, finally selling his proprietary +rights to Saunders and Otley for L1050. His editorial work was arduous, +and many of his own compositions were first published in _The +Metropolitan._ Here appeared _Newton Forster,_ 1832, _Peter Simple,_ +1833, _Jacob Faithful, Midshipman Easy,_ and _Japhet in search of a +Father_(!) 1834, besides a comedy in three acts, entitled _The Gipsy,_ a +tragedy called _The Cavalier of Seville,_ and the miscellaneous papers +afterwards collected under the title, _Olla Podrida._ + +In 1833 he stood, as a reformer, for Tower Hamlets, but his methods of +canvassing were imprudent. He dwelt upon his own hobbies, and +disregarded those of the electors. He apparently expected to carry the +day by opposing the pressgang in a time of peace, and even permitted +himself to repudiate philanthropy towards the African negro. The +gallantry with which, on one occasion, he saved the lives of his +audience when the floor of the room had fallen in, was not permitted to +cover the rash energy of his reply to a persistent questioner:--"If ever +you, or one of your sons, should come under my command at sea and +deserve punishment, if there be no other effectual mode of conferring +it, _I shall flog you."_ It is hardly necessary to add that he lost the +election. + +He afterwards failed in a plan for the establishment of brevet rank in +the army, but gave some valuable assistance in the preparation of the +Merchant Shipping Bill of 1834. + +It was about this time that Marryat is currently reported to have +challenged F.D. Maurice to a duel. The latter had published an +anonymous novel, called _Eustace Conway,_ in which "a prominent +character, represented in no amiable colours, bore the name of Captain +Marryat." The truth of the story seems to be that the Captain went in +hot wrath to Bentley, and demanded an apology or a statement that the +coincidence was unintentional. Maurice replied, through his publisher, +that he had never heard of Captain Marryat. It may be questioned whether +the apology was not more galling than the original offence. + +In 1834 some legal difficulties arose in connection with his father's +memory, which Marryat accepted with admirable philosophy:-- + + "As for the Chancellor's judgment," he told his mother, "I cannot say + that I thought anything about it, on the contrary, it appears to me + that he might have been much more severe if he had thought proper. It + is easy to impute motives, and difficult to disprove them. I thought, + considering his enmity, that he let us off cheap; as there is no + _punishing a chancellor,_ and he might say what he pleased with + impunity. I did not therefore _roar_, I only _smiled_. The effect will + be nugatory. Not one in a thousand will read it; those who do, know it + refers to a person not in this world; and of those, those who knew my + father will not believe it, those who did not will care little about + it, and forget the name in a week. Had he given the decision in our + favour, I should have been better pleased, _but it's no use crying; + what's done can't be helped."_ + +This letter was written from Brighton, and the following year found +Marryat on the Continent, at home in a circle of gay spirits who might +almost be called the outcasts of English society. They were +pleasure-seekers, by no means necessarily depraved but, by narrow +incomes or other causes, driven into a cheerful exile. The captain was +always ready to give and take in the matter of entertainment, and he was +invited everywhere though, on one occasion at least, it is recorded that +he proved an uncongenial guest. Having dined, as a recognised lion among +lions, he "didn't make a single joke during the whole evening." His host +remarked on his silence the next morning, and Marryat replied:-- + + "Oh, if that's what you wanted you should have asked me when you were + alone. Why, did you imagine I was going to let out any of my jokes for + those fellows to put in their next books? No, that is not _my_ plan. + When I find myself in such company _as that_ I open my ears and hold + my tongue, glean all I can, and give them nothing in return." + +He did not always, however, play the professional author so offensively, +and we hear of his taking part in private theatricals and dances, +preparing a Christmas tree for the children, and cleverly packing his +friends' portmanteaux. + +Meanwhile, he was writing _The Pirate and Three Cutters,_ for which he +received L750, as well as _Snarley-yow_ and the _Pacha of many Tales._ +He had been contributing to the _Metropolitan_ at 15 guineas a sheet, +until he paid a flying visit to England in 1836 in order to transfer his +allegiance to the _New Monthly Magazine,_ from which he secured 20 +guineas. Mrs Lean states that her father received L1100 each for _Peter +Simple, Jacob Faithful, Japhet,_ and _The Pacha of many Tales;_ L1200 +for _Midshipman Easy,_ L1300 for _Snarley-yow,_ and L1600 for the _Diary +in America._ Yet "although Captain Marryat and his publishers mutually +benefited by their transactions with each other, one would have +imagined, from the letters exchanged between them, that they had been +natural enemies." She relates how one of the fraternity told Marryat he +was "somewhat eccentric--an odd creature," and added, "I am somewhat +warm-tempered myself, and therefore make allowance for yours, which is +certainly warm enough." + +Marryat justified the charge by replying:-- + + "There was no occasion for you to make the admission that you are + somewhat warm-tempered; your letter establishes that fact. Considering + your age, you are a little volcano, and if the insurance were aware of + your frequent visits at the Royal Exchange, they would demand double + premium for the building. Indeed, I have my surmises _now_ as to the + last conflagration. + + * * * * * + + Your remark as to the money I have received may sound well, mentioned + as an isolated fact; but how does it sound when it is put in + juxtaposition with the sums you have received? I, who have found + everything, receiving a pittance, while you, who have found nothing + but the shop to sell in, receiving such a lion's share. I assert again + that it is slavery. I am Sinbad the sailor, and you are the old man of + the mountain, clinging on my back, and you must not be surprised at my + wishing to throw you off the first convenient opportunity. + + The fact is, you have the vice of old age very strong upon you, and + you are blinded by it; but put the question to your sons, and ask them + whether they consider the present agreement fair. Let them arrange + with me, and do you go and read your Bible. We all have our ideas of + Paradise, and if other authors think like me, the most pleasurable + portion of anticipated bliss is that there will be no publishers + there. That idea often supports me after an interview with one of your + fraternity." + +Marryat only returned to England a few months before hurrying off to +America in April 1837. The reasons for this move it is impossible to +conjecture, as we can scarcely accept the apparent significance of his +comments on Switzerland in the _Diary on the Continent:--_ + + "Do the faults of these people arise from the peculiarity of their + constitutions, or from the nature of their government? To ascertain + this, one must compare them with those who live under similar + institutions. _I must go to America--that is decided_." + +He was received by the Americans with a curious mixture of suspicion and +enthusiasm. English men and women of letters in late years had been +visiting the Republic and criticising its institutions to the mother +country--with a certain forgetfulness of hospitalities received that was +not, to say the least of it, in good taste. Marryat was also an author, +and it seemed only too probable that he had come to spy out the land. On +the other hand, his books were immensely popular over the water and, but +for dread of possible consequences, Jonathan was delighted to see him. +His arrival at Saratoga Springs produced an outburst in the local papers +of the most pronounced journalese:-- + + "This distinguished writer is at present a sojourner in our city. + Before we knew the gallant Captain was respiring our balmy air, we + really did wonder what laughing gas had imbued our atmosphere--every + one we met in the streets appeared to be in such a state of + jollification; but when we heard that the author of _Peter Simple_ was + actually puffing a cigar amongst us we no longer marvelled at the + pleasant countenances of our citizens. He has often made them laugh + when he was thousands of miles away. Surely now it is but natural that + they ought to be tickled to death at the idea of having him present." + +The Bostonians were proud to claim him as a compatriot through his +mother, and a nautical drama from his pen--_The Ocean Wolf, or the +Channel Outlaw_--was performed at New York with acclamation. He had some +squabbles with American publishers concerning copyright, and was clever +enough to secure two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars from Messrs +Carey & Hart for his forthcoming _Diary in America_ and _The Phantom +Ship,_ which latter first appeared in the _New Monthly,_ 1837 and 1838. +He evidently pleased the Americans on the whole, and was not +unfavourably impressed by what he saw, but the six volumes which he +produced on his return are only respectable specimens of bookmaking, and +do not repay perusal. It was, indeed, his own opinion that he had +already written enough. "If I were not rather in want of money," he says +in a letter to his mother, "I certainly would not write any more, for I +am rather tired of it. I should like to disengage myself from the +fraternity of authors, and be known in future only in my profession as a +good officer and seaman." He had hoped to see some service in Canada, +but the opportunity never came. + +In England, to which he returned in 1839, the want of money soon came to +be felt more seriously. His father's fortune had been invested in the +West Indies, and began to show diminishing returns. For this and other +reasons he led a very wandering existence, for another four or five +years, until 1843. A year at 8 Duke Street, St James, was followed by a +short stay with his mother at Wimbledon House, from which he took +chambers at 120 Piccadilly, and then again moved to Spanish Place, +Manchester Square. Apparently at this time he made an unsuccessful +attempt to return to active service. He was meanwhile working hard at +_Poor Jack, Masterman Ready, The Poacher, Percival Keene,_ etc., and +living hard in the merry circle of a literary Bohemia, with Clarkson +Stanfield, Rogers, Dickens, and Forster; to whom were sometimes added +Lady Blessington, Ainsworth, Cruickshank, and Lytton. The rival +interests served to sour his spirits and weaken his constitution. + +The publication of _The Poacher_ in the _Era_ newspaper involved its +author in a very pretty controversy. A foolish contributor to _Fraser's +Magazine_ got into a rage with Harrison Ainsworth for _condescending_ to +write in the weekly papers, and expressed himself as follows:-- + + "If writing monthly fragments threatened to deteriorate Mr Ainsworth's + productions, what must be the result of this _hebdomadal_ habit? + Captain Marryat, we are sorry to say, has taken to the same line. Both + these popular authors may rely upon our warning, that they will live + to see their laurels fade unless they more carefully cultivate a + spirit of _self-respect._ That which was venial in a miserable + starveling of Grub Street is _perfectly disgusting_ in the + extravagantly paid novelists of these days--the _caressed_, of + generous booksellers. Mr Ainsworth and Captain Marryat ought to + disdain such _pitiful peddling._ Let them eschew it without delay." + +Marryat's reply was, spirited and manly. After ridiculing _Fraser's_ +attempt "to set up a standard of _precedency_ and _rank_ in literature," +and humorously proving that an author's works were not to be esteemed in +proportion to the length of time elapsing between their production, he +turned to the more serious and entirely honest defence that, like +Dickens, he was supplying the lower classes with wholesome recreation:-- + + "I would rather write for the instruction, or even the amusement of + the poor than for the amusement of the rich; and I would sooner raise + a smile or create an interest in the honest mechanic or agricultural + labourer who requires relaxation, than I would contribute to dispel + the _ennui_ of those who loll on their couches and wonder in their + idleness what they shall do next. Is the rich man only to be amused? + are mirth and laughter to be made a luxury, confined to the upper + classes, and denied to the honest and hard-working artisan?... + + In a moral point of view, I hold that I am right. We are educating the + lower classes; generations have sprung up who can read and write; and + may I enquire what it is that they have to read, in the way of + amusement?--for I speak not of the Bible, which is for private + examination. They have scarcely anything but the weekly newspapers, + and, as they cannot command amusement, they prefer those which create + the most excitement; and this I believe to be the cause of the great + circulation of the _Weekly Dispatch,_ which has but too well succeeded + in demoralising the public, in creating disaffection and ill-will + towards the government, and assisting the nefarious views of + demagogues and chartists. It is certain that men would rather laugh + than cry--would rather be amused than rendered gloomy and + discontented--would sooner dwell upon the joys or sorrows of others in + a tale of fiction than brood over their own supposed wrongs. If I put + good and wholesome food (and, as I trust, sound moral) before the + lower classes, they will eventually eschew that which is coarse and + disgusting, which is only resorted to because no better is supplied. + Our weekly newspapers are at present little better than records of + immorality and crime, and the effect which arises from having no other + matter to read and comment upon, is of serious injury to the morality + of the country ... I consider, therefore, that in writing for the + amusement and instruction of the poor man, I am doing that which has + but been too much neglected--that I am serving my country, and you + surely will agree with me that to do so in not _infra. dig._ in the + proudest Englishman; and, as a Conservative, you should commend rather + than stigmatise my endeavours in the manner which you have so hastily + done." + + +It has been said that Marryat's wandering ceased in 1843, and it was in +that year that he settled down at Langham to look after his own estate. +Langham is in the northern division of Norfolk, half way between +Wells-next-the-Sea and Holt. The Manor House, says Mrs Lean, "without +having any great architectural pretensions, had a certain unconventional +prettiness of its own. It was a cottage in the Elizabethan style, built +after the model of one at Virginia Water belonging to his late majesty, +George IV., with latticed windows opening on to flights of stone steps +ornamented with vases of flowers, and leading down from the long narrow +dining-room, where (surrounded by Clarkson Stanfield's illustrations of +_Poor Jack_, with which the walls were clothed) Marryat composed his +later works, to the lawn behind. The house was thatched and gabled, and +its pinkish white walls and round porch were covered with roses and ivy, +which in some parts climbed as high as the roof itself." + +In the unpublished fragment of his _Life of Lord Napier_ Marryat had +declared that retired sailors naturally turned to agriculture, and +frequently made good farmers. A sailor on land, he rather quaintly +remarks, is "but a sort of Adam--a new creature, starting into existence +as it were in his prime;" and "the greatest pleasures of man consist in +imitating the Deity in his _creative_ power." The anticipated _pleasure_ +in farming he did to a great extent realise, but the _profits_ were +still to seek. It can only be said that his losses were rather smaller +that they had been in his absence. + +Thus:-- + + 1842. Total receipts, L154 2 9 + " Expenditure, 1637 0 6 + 1846. Total receipts, 898 12 6 + " Expenditure, 2023 10 8 + +His former tenant had indeed shown but little respect for the property. +Besides taking all he could out of the land without putting anything +into it, he fitted up the drawing-room of the manor (which in its +brightest days had been known in the village as the "Room of Thousand +Columns," from an effect produced by mirrors set in the panels of +folding doors, reflecting trellised pillars,) with rows of beds, which +he let out to tramps at twopence a night! + +Of these latter years on the farm we can gather some distinctly pleasant +impressions. Marryat was evidently a good master at all times. He +delighted to arrange for festivities in the servants' hall, but he was +also very tolerant to poachers, and considered it his first duty to find +work for his men when times were bad. His model pigsties and cottages +were unpopular, but he loved his animals and understood them. The chief +merit of his lazy and somewhat asinine pony Dumpling consisted in his +talent for standing still. Upon this patient beast the captain would +occasionally sally forth to shoot, assisting his natural +short-sightedness by a curious "invention of his own;"--a plain piece of +crystal surrounded by a strip of whalebone, hanging in front of his +right eye from the brim of his "shocking bad hat." He was a careless +dresser, but scrupulously clean; no smoker, but very fond of snuff. He +had a fancy for pure white china which had to be procured from the +Continent. + +Cordial invitations from friends seldom drew him from his self-imposed +labours, and it appears that, in spite of his son's debts and other +domestic troubles, he led a fairly contented existence among his dogs +and his children. To the latter, though occasionally passionate, he was +"a most indulgent father and friend." He never locked anything away from +them, or shut them out of any room in the house. Though severe on +falsehood and cowardice, he was indifferent to mischief, and one is +certainly driven to pity for the governess who was summoned to look +after them. His methods in this connection were original. "He kept a +quantity of small articles for presents in his secretary; and at the +termination of each week the children and governess, armed with a report +of their general behaviour, were ushered with much solemnity into the +library to render up an account. Those who had behaved well during the +preceding seven days received a prize, because they had been so good; +and those who had behaved ill also received one, in hopes that they +would never be naughty again: the governess was also presented with a +gift, that her criticism on the justice of the transaction might be +disarmed." The father was not a strict disciplinarian, and it is related +that when a little one had made "a large rent in a new frock," for which +she expected punishment from her governess, and ran to him for advice, +he "took hold of the rent and tore off the whole lower part of the +skirt," saying, "Tell her I did it." + +The sons were seldom at home, but in spite of a certain constitutional +wildness and lack of prudence, they were evidently a gallant couple, +delighting their father's heart. Frederick, the eldest, became a +distinguished officer, after conquering a strong propensity to practical +joking, and was much regretted in the service when wrecked at the age of +twenty-seven. He was last seen "upbraiding, in his jocular manner, some +people who were frightened, when a sea swept over the ship and took him +with it." Frank was entered upon the roll of the navy at the tender age +of three, and presented to the Port Admiral of Plymouth in full costume. +The officer patted him on the head, saying "Well, you're a fine little +fellow," to which the youngster replied, "and you're a fine old cock, +too." + +He became a cultivated and bold traveller, beloved by his friends, and +not unknown to fame. He only survived his father a few years, and died +at the age of twenty-eight. + +Marryat now began his charming series of stories for children, a work to +which he turned for a practical reason that sounds strangely from his +impulsive lips:-- + +"I have lately taken to a different style of writing, that is, for +young people. My former productions, like all novels, have had their +day, and for the present, at least, will sell no more; but it is not +so with the _juveniles_; they have an annual demand, and become _a +little income_ to me; which I infinitely prefer to receiving any sum +in a mass, which very soon disappears somehow or other." Save for a +little tendency to preachment, these volumes, particularly _Masterman +Ready_, and _The Children of the New Forest_, are admirably suited to +their purpose from the genuine childlikeness of their conception and +treatment. + +Meanwhile Marryat's health was rapidly giving way, and almost his last +appearance before the public was in 1847, when he addressed a pathetic, +but fairly dignified letter to the First Lord of the Admiralty, as a +protest against some affront, which he suspected, to his professional +career. The exact circumstances of the case cannot be now discovered, +but it may be readily conjectured that the formalism of official +courtesy did not match with the Captain's taste, and that the necessity +for self-control on his own part had irritated his resentment. The First +Lord expressed his regret at having wounded a distinguished officer, and +bestowed on him a good service pension. + +It may be said that the pension came too late, if indeed it would at any +time have been particularly serviceable. Marryat was now engaged in that +melancholy chase for health which generally augurs the beginning of the +end. He had ruptured two blood vessels, and was in great danger from the +constitutional weakness which had first attacked him as a young +lieutenant in the West Indies. He moved to his mother's house in order +to consult the London doctors. A mild climate was recommended, and he +went down to Hastings, where the news of his son's death destroyed his +own chances of recovery. After about a month's trial of Brighton, he +came back to the London doctors who told him that "in six months he +would be numbered with his forefathers." + +He went home to Langham to die. Through the summer of 1848 he lingered +on, "in the 'room of a thousand columns,' with the mimic sky, and birds, +and flowers, above and around him, where he chose to lie upon a +mattress, placed on the ground, and there, almost in darkness, often in +pain, and without occupation, he lay--cheerful and uncomplaining, and at +times even humorous." His daughters frequently read aloud to him, and he +always asked for fresh flowers. At the last he became delirious, though +continuing to dictate pages of talk and reflection. On the morning of +August 9th, 1848, he expired in perfect quiet. + +"Although not handsome," says Mrs Lean, "Captain Marryat's personal +appearance was very prepossessing. In figure he was upright and +broad-shouldered for his height, which measured 5ft. 10in. His hands, +without being undersized, were remarkably perfect in form, and modelled +by a sculptor at Rome on account of their symmetry. The character of his +mind was borne out by his features, the most salient expression of which +was the frankness of an open heart. The firm decisive mouth, and massive +thoughtful forehead were redeemed from heaviness by the humorous light +that twinkled in his deep-set grey eyes, which, bright as diamonds, +positively flashed out their fun, or their reciprocation of the fun of +others. As a young man, dark crisp curls covered his head; but later in +life, when, having exchanged the sword for the pen and the +plougshare [sic], he affected a soberer and more patriarchal style of +dress and manner, he wore his grey hair long, and almost down to his +shoulder. His eyebrows were not alike, one being higher up and more +arched than the other, which peculiarity gave his face a look of +enquiry, even in repose. In the upper lip was a deep cleft, and in the +chin as deep a dimple." + +Christopher North describes Captain Marryat as "a captain in the navy, +and an honour to it--an admirable sailor, and an admirable writer--and +would that he were with us on the leads, my lads, for a pleasanter +fellow, _to those who know him,_ never enlivened the social board." It +is evident, indeed, that an intimate knowledge of his character was +necessary to its appreciation, for his daughter declares that "like most +warm-hearted people he was quick to take offence, and no one could have +decided, after an absence of six months, with whom he was friends, and +with whom he was not." One of the said friends wrote truly:-- + + "His faults proceeded from an _over-active_ mind, which could never be + quiet--morning, noon, or night. If he had no one to love, he + quarrelled for want of something better to do; he planned for himself + and for everybody, and changed his mind ten times a-day." + +"Many people have asked," says Mrs Lean "whether Captain Marryat, when +at home, was not 'very funny.' No, decidedly not. In society, with new +topics to discuss, and other wits about him on which to sharpen his own +--or, like flint and steel, to emit sparks by friction--he was as gay +and humorous as the best of them; but at home he was always a +thoughtful, and, at times, a very grave man; for he was not exempt from +those ills that all flesh is heir to, and had his sorrows and his +difficulties and moments of depression, like the rest of us. At such +times it was dangerous to thwart and disturb him, for he was a man of +strong passions and indomitable determination." + +It is not difficult to conceive the character in outline--"wise +English-hearted Captain Marryat," Kingsley calls him. He was incapable +of any mean low vices, but his zest for pleasure was keen, and never +restrained by motives of prudence or consideration for others. His +strong passions at times made him disagreeably selfish and overbearing, +qualities forgiven by acquaintances for his social brilliancy, and by +friends for his frank affection. With some business talents and +practical shrewdness, he was quite incapable of wisely conducting his +affairs, by reason of a mania for speculation and originality. There was +considerable waste of good material in his fiery composition. + +His books reveal the higher standard of his true nature. Their merits +and faults are alike on the surface. Lockhart declared that "he stood +second in merit to no living novelist but Miss Edgeworth. His happy +delineations and contrasts of character, and easy play of native fun, +redeem a thousand faults of verbosity, clumsiness, and coarseness. His +strong sense, and utter superiority to affectation of all sorts, command +respect, and in his quiet effectiveness of circumstantial narrative he +sometimes approaches old Defoe." + +It is easy to criticise Marryat, for his grammar is reckless, he could +not construct a plot, he wrote too much and too rapidly in order to earn +money. But then he was an altogether admirable _raconteur_, and for the +purposes of narration his style was peculiarly appropriate--simple, +rapid, lucid, and vigorous. He does not tax our powers of belief beyond +endurance, or weary us with wonder. His crises are the more effective +from the absence of any studied introduction or thunderous comment; and +he carries his readers through stirring adventures of storm and battle +with a business-like precision that silences doubt. He breathes the +spirit of the sea, himself a genuine sailor, almost as childlike and +simple as one of his own creations. His books are real voyages, in which +a day of bustle and danger is followed by peace and quiet, yarns on the +quarter-deck, and some practical joking among the middies. + +He delights in the exhibition of oddities, and the telling of tall +stories outside the regular course of the narrative, which bubbles over +with somewhat boisterous fun. And his humour is genuine and spontaneous; +it is farcical without descending to buffoonery. His comic types are +built up on character, and, if not subtle, are undeniably human and +living. They are drawn, moreover, with sympathy. + +The whole tone of Marryat's work is singularly fresh, wholesome, and +manly. His heroes endure rough handling, but they fight their way, for +the most part, to the essential qualities of gentlemen. They are no +saints; but excellent comrades, honest lovers, and brave tars. + +R. BRIMLEY JOHNSON. + +FOOTNOTES: +[1] In dwelling upon the autobiographical nature of the _incident_, in +_Frank Mildmay,_ it is necessary to guard against the supposition that +Marryat's _character_ in any way resembled his hero's. See further +Preface to _F M._ + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE + +TO + +PETER SIMPLE AND THE THREE CUTTERS + +From _Nodes Ambrosianae_:-- + +_Shepherd_ [HOGG]. Did Marry yacht write _Peter Simple_? Peter Simple +in his ain way's as gude's Parson Adams ... He that invented Peter +Simple's a Sea-Fieldin'. + + * * * * * + +_Peter Simple_ is printed from the first edition, in three volumes. +Saunders and Otley, 1834. + +_The Three Cutters_ is printed from the first edition. Longman, Rees, +Orme, Brown, Green, and Longman, 1836. + +_The Three Cutters_ was first published in one volume with _The +Pirate_, containing a portrait of Marryat--Drawn by W. Behnes, engraved +by H. Cook; and "illustrated with twenty splendid engravings from +drawings by Clarkson Stanfield, Esq., R.A." + + + + +Peter Simple + + + + +Chapter I + +The great advantage of being the fool of the family--My destiny is +decided, and I am consigned to a stockbroker as part of His Majesty's +sea stock--Unfortunately for me Mr Handycock is a bear, and I get +very little dinner. + + +If I cannot narrate a life of adventurous and daring exploits, +fortunately I have no heavy crimes to confess; and, if I do not rise in +the estimation of the reader for acts of gallantry and devotion in my +country's cause, at least I may claim the merit of zealous and +persevering continuance in my vocation. We are all of us variously +gifted from Above, and he who is content to walk, instead of to run, on +his allotted path through life, although he may not so rapidly attain +the goal, has the advantage of not being out of breath upon his arrival. +Not that I mean to infer that my life has not been one of adventure. I +only mean to say that, in all which has occurred, I have been a passive, +rather than an active, personage; and, if events of interest are to be +recorded, they certainly have not been sought by me. + +As well as I can recollect and analyze my early propensities, I think +that, had I been permitted to select my own profession, I should in all +probability have bound myself apprentice to a tailor; for I always +envied the comfortable seat which they appeared to enjoy upon the +shopboard, and their elevated position, which enabled them to look down +upon the constant succession of the idle or the busy, who passed in +review before them in the main street of the country town, near to which +I passed the first fourteen years of my existence. + +But my father, who was a clergyman of the Church of England, and the +youngest brother of a noble family, had a lucrative living, and a "soul +above buttons," if his son had not. It has been from time immemorial the +heathenish custom to sacrifice the greatest fool of the family to the +prosperity and naval superiority of the country, and, at the age of +fourteen, I was selected as the victim. If the custom be judicious, I +had no reason to complain. There was not one dissentient voice, when it +was proposed before all the varieties of my aunts and cousins, invited +to partake of our new-year's festival. I was selected by general +acclamation. Flattered by such an unanimous acknowledgment of my +qualification, and a stroke of my father's hand down my head which +accompanied it, I felt as proud, and, alas! as unconscious as the calf +with gilded horns, who plays and mumbles with the flowers of the garland +which designates his fate to every one but himself. I even felt, or +thought I felt, a slight degree of military ardour, and a sort of vision +of future grandeur passed before me, in the distant vista of which I +perceived a coach with four horses and a service of plate. It was, +however, driven away before I could decipher it, by positive bodily +pain, occasioned by my elder brother Tom, who, having been directed by +my father to snuff the candles, took the opportunity of my abstraction +to insert a piece of the still ignited cotton into my left ear. But as +my story is not a very short one, I must not dwell too long on its +commencement. I shall therefore inform the reader, that my father, who +lived in the north of England, did not think it right to fit me out at +the country town, near to which we resided; but about a fortnight after +the decision which I have referred to, he forwarded me to London, on the +outside of the coach, with my best suit of bottle-green and six shirts. +To prevent mistakes, I was booked in the way-bill "to be delivered to Mr +Thomas Handycock, No. 14, Saint Clement's Lane--carriage paid." My +parting with the family was very affecting; my mother cried bitterly, +for, like all mothers, she liked the greatest fool which she had +presented to my father, better than all the rest; my sisters cried +because my mother cried; Tom roared for a short time more loudly than +all the rest, having been chastised by my father for breaking his fourth +window in that week;--during all which my father walked up and down the +room with impatience, because he was kept from his dinner, and, like all +orthodox divines, he was tenacious of the only sensual enjoyment +permitted to his cloth. + +At last I tore myself away. I had blubbered till my eyes were so red and +swollen, that the pupils were scarcely to be distinguished, and tears +and dirt had veined my cheeks like the marble of the chimney-piece. My +handkerchief was soaked through with wiping my eyes and blowing my nose, +before the scene was over. My brother Tom, with a kindness which did +honour to his heart, exchanged his for mine, saying, with fraternal +regard, "Here, Peter, take mine, it's as dry as a bone." But my father +would not wait for a second handkerchief to perform its duty. He led me +away through the hall, when, having shaken hands with all the men and +kissed all the maids, who stood in a row with their aprons to their +eyes, I quitted my paternal roof. + +The coachman accompanied me to the place from whence the stage was to +start. Having seen me securely wedged between two fat old women, and +having put my parcel inside, he took his leave, and in a few minutes I +was on my road to London. + +I was too much depressed to take notice of anything during my journey. +When we arrived in London, they drove to the Blue Boar (in a street, the +name of which I have forgotten). I had never seen or heard of such an +animal, and certainly it did appear very formidable; its mouth was open +and teeth very large. What surprised me still more was to observe that +its teeth and hoofs were of pure gold. Who knows, thought I, that in +some of the strange countries which I am doomed to visit, but that I may +fall in with, and shoot one of these terrific monsters? with what haste +shall I select those precious parts, and with what joy should I, on my +return, pour them as an offering of filial affection into my mother's +lap!--and then, as I thought of my mother, the tears again gushed into +my eyes. + +The coachman threw his whip to the ostler, and the reins upon the +horses' backs; he then dismounted, and calling to me, "Now, young +gentleman, I'se a-waiting," he put a ladder up for me to get down by; +then turning to a porter, he said to him, "Bill, you must take this here +young gem'man and that ere parcel to this here direction.--Please to +remember the coachman, sir." I replied that I certainly would, if he +wished it, and walked off with the porter; the coachman observing, as I +went away, "Well, he is a fool--that's sartain." I arrived quite safe at +St Clement's-lane, when the porter received a shilling for his trouble +from the maid who let me in, and I was shown up into a parlour, where I +found myself in company with Mrs Handycock. + +Mrs Handycock was a little meagre woman, who did not speak very good +English, and who appeared to me to employ the major part of her time in +bawling out from the top of the stairs to the servants below. I never +saw her either read a book or occupy herself with needlework, during the +whole time I was in the house. She had a large grey parrot, and I really +cannot tell which screamed the worse of the two--but she was very civil +and kind to me, and asked me ten times a day when I had last heard of my +grandfather, Lord Privilege. I observed that she always did so if any +company happened to call in during my stay at her house. Before I had +been there ten minutes, she told me that she "hadored sailors--they were +the defendiours and preserviours of their kings and countries," and that +"Mr Handycock would be home by four o'clock, and then we should go to +dinner." Then she jumped off her chair to bawl to the cook from the head +of the stairs--"Jemima, Jemima!--ve'll ha'e the viting biled instead of +fried." "Can't, marm," replied Jemima, "they be all begged and crumbed, +with their tails in their mouths." "Vell, then, never mind, Jemima," +replied the lady.--"Don't put your finger into the parrot's cage, my +love--he's apt to be cross with strangers. Mr Handycock will be home at +four o'clock, and then we shall have our dinner. Are you fond of +viting?" + +As I was very anxious to see Mr Handycock, and very anxious to have my +dinner, I was not sorry to hear the clock on the stairs strike four, +when Mrs Handycock again jumped up, and put her head over the banisters, +"Jemima, Jemima, it's four o'clock!" "I hear it, marm," replied the +cook; and she gave the frying-pan a twist, which made the hissing and +the smell come flying up into the parlour, and made me more hungry than +ever. + +Rap, tap, tap! "There's your master, Jemima," screamed the lady. "I hear +him, marm," replied the cook. "Run down, my dear, and let Mr Handycock +in," said his wife. "He'll be so surprised at seeing you open the door." + +I ran down, as Mrs Handycock desired me, and opened the street-door. +"Who the devil are you?" in a gruff voice, cried Mr Handycock; a man +about six feet high, dressed in blue cotton-net pantaloons and Hessian +boots, with a black coat and waistcoat. I was a little rebuffed, I must +own, but I replied that I was Mr Simple. "And pray, Mr Simple, what +would your grandfather say if he saw you now? I have servants in plenty +to open my door, and the parlour is the proper place for young +gentlemen." + +"Law, Mr Handycock," said his wife, from the top of the stairs, "how can +you be so cross? I told him to open the door to surprise you." + +"And you have surprised me," replied he, "with your cursed folly." + +While Mr Handycock was rubbing his boots on the mat, I went upstairs +rather mortified, I must own, as my father had told me that Mr Handycock +was his stockbroker, and would do all he could to make me comfortable: +indeed, he had written to that effect in a letter, which my father +showed to me before I left home. When I returned to the parlour, Mrs +Handycock whispered to me, "Never mind, my dear, it's only because +there's something wrong on 'Change. Mr Handycock is a _bear_ just now." +I thought so too, but I made no answer, for Mr Handycock came upstairs, +and walking with two strides from the door of the parlour to the +fire-place, turned his back to it, and lifting up his coat-tails, began +to whistle. + +"Are you ready for your dinner, my dear?" said the lady, almost +trembling. + +"If the dinner is ready for me. I believe we usually dine at four," +answered her husband, gruffly. + +"Jemima, Jemima, dish up! do you hear, Jemima?" "Yes, marm," replied the +cook, "directly I've thickened the butter;" and Mrs Handycock resumed +her seat, with, "Well, Mr Simple, and how is your grandfather, Lord +Privilege?" "He is quite well, ma'am," answered I, for the fifteenth +time at least. But dinner put an end to the silence which followed this +remark. Mr Handycock lowered his coat-tails and walked downstairs, +leaving his wife and me to follow at our leisure. + +"Pray, ma'am," inquired I, as soon as he was out of hearing, "what is +the matter with Mr Handycock, that he is so cross to you?" + +"Vy, my dear, it is one of the misfortunes of mater-mony, that ven the +husband's put out, the vife is sure to have her share of it. Mr +Handycock must have lost money on 'Change, and then he always comes home +cross. Ven he vins, then he is as merry as a cricket." + +"Are you people coming down to dinner?" roared Mr Handycock from below. +"Yes, my dear," replied the lady, "I thought that you were washing your +hands." We descended into the dining-room, where we found that Mr +Handycock had already devoured two of the whitings, leaving only one on +the dish for his wife and me. "Vould you like a little bit of viting, my +dear?" said the lady to me. "It's not worth halving," observed the +gentleman, in a surly tone, taking up the fish with his own knife and +fork, and putting it on his plate. + +"Well, I'm so glad you like them, my dear," replied the lady meekly; +then turning to me, "there's some nice roast _weal_ coming, my dear." + +The veal made its appearance, and fortunately for us, Mr Handycock could +not devour it all. He took the lion's share, nevertheless, cutting off +all the brown, and then shoving the dish over to his wife to help +herself and me. I had not put two pieces in my mouth before Mr Handycock +desired me to get up and hand him the porter-pot, which stood on the +sideboard. I thought that if it was not right for me to open a door, +neither was it for me to wait at table--but I obeyed him without making +a remark. + +After dinner, Mr Handycock went down to the cellar for a bottle of wine. +"O deary me!" exclaimed his wife, "he must have lost a mint of money--we +had better go up stairs and leave him alone; he'll be better after a +bottle of port, perhaps." I was very glad to go away, and being very +tired, I went to bed without any tea, for Mrs Handycock dared not +venture to make it before her husband came up stairs. + + + + +Chapter II + +Fitting out on the shortest notice--Fortunately for me, this day Mr +Handycock is a bear, and I fare very well--I set off for Portsmouth-- +Behind the coach I meet a man before the mast--He is disguised with +liquor, but is not the only disguise I fall in with in my journey. + + +The next morning Mr Handycock appeared to be in somewhat better humour. +One of the linendrapers who fitted out cadets, &c, "on the shortest +notice," was sent for, and orders given for my equipment, which Mr +Handycock insisted should be ready on the day afterwards, or the +articles would be left on his hands; adding, that my place was already +taken in the Portsmouth coach. + +"Really, sir," observed the man, "I'm afraid--on such very short +notice--" + +"Your card says, 'the shortest notice,'" rejoined Mr Handycock, with the +confidence and authority of a man who is enabled to correct another by +his own assertions. "If you do not choose to undertake the work, another +will." + +This silenced the man, who made his promise, took my measure, and +departed; and soon afterwards Mr Handycock also quitted the house. + +What with my grandfather and the parrot, and Mrs Handycock wondering how +much money her husband had lost, running to the head of the stairs and +talking to the cook, the day passed away pretty well till four o'clock; +when, as before, Mrs Handycock screamed, the cook screamed, the parrot +screamed, and Mr Handycock rapped at the door, and was let in--but not +by me. He ascended the stair swith [sic] three bounds, and coming into +the parlour, cried, "Well, Nancy, my love, how are you?" Then stooping +over her, "Give me a kiss, old girl. I'm as hungry as a hunter. Mr +Simple, how do you do? I hope you have passed the morning agreeably. I +must wash my hands and change my boots, my love; I am not fit to sit +down to table with you in this pickle. Well, Polly, how are you?" + +"I'm glad you're hungry, my dear, I've such a nice dinner for you," +replied the wife, all smiles. "Jemima, be quick and dish up--Mr +Handycock is so hungry." + +"Yes, marm," replied the cook; and Mrs Handycock followed her husband +into his bedroom on the same floor, to assist him at his toilet. + +"By Jove, Nancy, the _bulls_ have been nicely taken in," said Mr +Handycock, as we sat down to dinner. + +"O, I am so glad!" replied his wife, giggling; and so I believe she was, +but why I did not understand. + +"Mr Simple," said he, "will you allow me to offer you a little fish?" + +"If you do not want it all yourself, sir," replied I politely. + +Mrs Handycock frowned and shook her head at me, while her husband helped +me. "My dove, a bit of fish?" + +We both had our share to-day, and I never saw a man more polite than Mr +Handycock. He joked with his wife, asked me to drink wine with him two +or three times, talked about my grandfather; and, in short, we had a +very pleasant evening. + +The next morning all my clothes came home, but Mr Handycock, who still +continued in good humour, said that he would not allow me to travel by +night, that I should sleep there and set off the next morning; which I +did at six o'clock, and before eight I had arrived at the Elephant and +Castle, where we stopped for a quarter of an hour. I was looking at the +painting representing this animal with a castle on its back; and +assuming that of Alnwick, which I had seen, as a fair estimate of the +size and weight of that which he carried, was attempting to enlarge my +ideas so as to comprehend the stupendous bulk of the elephant, when I +observed a crowd assembled at the corner; and asking a gentleman who sat +by me in a plaid cloak, whether there was not something very uncommon to +attract so many people, he replied, "Not very, for it is only a drunken +sailor." + +I rose from my seat, which was on the hinder part of the coach, that I +might see him, for it was a new sight to me, and excited my curiosity, +when to my astonishment, he staggered from the crowd, and swore that +he'd go to Portsmouth. He climbed up by the wheel of the coach, and sat +down by me. I believe that I stared at him very much, for he said to me, +"What are you gaping at, you young sculping? Do you want to catch flies? +or did you never see a chap half-seas-over before?" + +I replied, "That I had never been at sea in my life, but that I was +going." + +"Well, then, you're like a young bear, all your sorrows to come--that's +all, my hearty," replied he. "When you get on board, you'll find +monkey's allowance--more kicks than half-pence. I say, you +pewter-carrier, bring us another pint of ale." + +The waiter of the inn, who was attending the coach, brought out the ale, +half of which the sailor drank, and the other half threw into the +waiter's face, telling him that was his "allowance: and now," said he, +"what's to pay?" The waiter, who looked very angry, but appeared too +much afraid of the sailor to say anything, answered fourpence; and the +sailor pulled out a handful of banknotes, mixed up with gold, silver, +and coppers, and was picking out the money to pay for his beer, when the +coachman, who was impatient, drove off. + +"There's cut and run," cried the sailor, thrusting all the money into +his breeches pocket. "That's what you'll learn to do, my joker, before +you've been two cruises to sea." + +In the meantime the gentleman in the plaid cloak, who was seated by me, +smoked his cigar without saying a word. I commenced a conversation with +him relative to my profession, and asked him whether it was not very +difficult to learn. "Larn," cried the sailor, interrupting us, "no; it +may be difficult for such chaps as me before the mast to larn; but you, +I presume, is a reefer, and they an't got much to larn, 'cause why, they +pipe-clays their weekly accounts, and walks up and down with their hands +in their pockets. You must larn to chaw baccy, drink grog, and call the +cat a beggar, and then you knows all a midshipman's expected to know +nowadays. Ar'n't I right, sir?" said the sailor, appealing to the +gentleman in a plaid cloak. "I axes you, because I see you're a sailor +by the cut of your jib. Beg pardon, sir," continued he, touching his +hat, "hope no offence." + +"I am afraid that you have nearly hit the mark, my good fellow," replied +the gentleman. + +The drunken fellow then entered into conversation with him, stating that +he had been paid off from the _Audacious_ at Portsmouth, and had come up +to London to spend his money with his messmates, but that yesterday he +had discovered that a Jew at Portsmouth had sold him a seal as gold, for +fifteen shillings, which proved to be copper, and that he was going +back to Portsmouth to give the Jew a couple of black eyes for his +rascality, and that when he had done that he was to return to his +messmates, who had promised to drink success to the expedition at the +Cock and Bottle, St Martin's Lane, until he should return. + +The gentleman in the plaid cloak commended him very much for his +resolution; for he said, "that although the journey to and from +Portsmouth would cost twice the value of a gold seal, yet, that in the +end it might be worth a _Jew's Eye_." What he meant I did not +comprehend. + +Whenever the coach stopped, the sailor called for more ale, and always +threw the remainder which he could not drink into the face of the man +who brought it out for him, just as the coach was starting off, and then +tossed the pewter pot on the ground for him to pick up. He became more +tipsy every stage, and the last from Portsmouth, when he pulled out his +money, he could find no silver, so he handed down a note, and desired +the waiter to change it. The waiter crumpled it up and put it into his +pocket, and then returned the sailor the change for a one-pound note; +but the gentleman in the plaid had observed that it was a five-pound +note which the sailor had given, and insisted upon the waiter producing +it, and giving the proper change. The sailor took his money, which the +waiter handed to him, begging pardon for the mistake, although he +coloured up very much at being detected. "I really beg your pardon," +said he again, "it was quite a mistake;" whereupon the sailor threw the +pewter pot at the waiter, saying, "I really beg your pardon, too,"--and +with such force, that it flattened upon the man's head, who fell +senseless on the road. The coachman drove off, and I never heard whether +the man was killed or not. + +After the coach had driven off, the sailor eyed the gentleman in the +plaid cloak for a minute or two, and then said, "When I first looked at +you I took you for some officer in mufti; but now that I see you look so +sharp after the rhino, it's my idea that you're some poor devil of a +Scotchman, mayhap second mate of a marchant vessel--there's half a crown +for your services--I'd give you more if I thought you would spend it." + +The gentleman laughed, and took the half-crown, which I afterwards +observed that he gave to a grey-headed beggar at the bottom of Portsdown +Hill. I inquired of him how soon we should be at Portsmouth; he answered +that we were passing the lines; but I saw no lines, and I was ashamed to +show my ignorance. He asked me what ship I was going to join. I could +not recollect her name, but I told him it was painted on the outside of +my chest, which was coming down by the waggon; all that I could +recollect was that it was a French name. + +"Have you no letter of introduction to the captain?" said he. + +"Yes I have," replied I; and I pulled out my pocket-book in which the +letter was. "Captain Savage, H.M. ship _Diomede_," continued I, reading +to him. + +To my surprise he very coolly proceeded to open the letter, which, when +I perceived what he was doing, occasioned me immediately to snatch the +letter from him, stating my opinion at the same time that it was a +breach of honour, and that in my opinion he was no gentleman. + +"Just as you please, youngster," replied he. "Recollect, you have told +me I am no gentleman." + +He wrapped his plaid around him, and said no more; and I was not a +little pleased at having silenced him by my resolute behaviour. + + + + +Chapter III + +I am made to look very blue at the Blue Posts--Find wild spirits around, +and, soon after, hot spirits within me; at length my spirits overcome me +Call to pay my respects to the Captain, and find that I had had the +pleasure of meeting him before--No sooner out of one scrape than into +another. + + +When we stopped, I inquired of the coachman which was the best inn. He +answered "that it was the Blue Postesses, where the midshipmen leave +their chestesses, call for tea and toastesses, and sometimes forget to +pay for their breakfastesses." He laughed when he said it, and I thought +that he was joking with me; but he pointed out two large blue posts at +the door next the coach-office, and told me that all the midshipmen +resorted to that hotel. He then asked me to remember the coachman, +which, by this time I had found out implied that I was not to forget to +give him a shilling, which I did, and then went into the inn. The +coffee-room was full of midshipmen, and, as I was anxious about my +chest, I inquired of one of them if he knew when the waggon would come +in. + +"Do you expect your mother by it?" replied he. + +"Oh no! but I expect my uniforms--I only wear these bottle-greens until +they come." + +"And pray what ship are you going to join?" + +"The _Die-a-maid_--Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage." + +"The _Diomede_--I say, Robinson, a'n't that the frigate in which the +midshipmen had four dozen apiece for not having pipe-clayed their weekly +accounts on the Saturday?" + +"To be sure it is," replied the other; "why the captain gave a youngster +five dozen the other day for wearing a scarlet watch-riband." + +"He's the greatest Tartar in the service," continued the other; "he +flogged the whole starboard watch the last time that he was on a cruise, +because the ship would only sail nine knots upon a bowline." + +"Oh dear," said I, "then I'm very sorry that I am going to join him." + +"'Pon my soul I pity you: you'll be fagged to death: for there's only +three midshipmen in the ship now--all the rest ran away. Didn't they, +Robinson?" + +"There's only two left now; for poor Matthews died of fatigue. He was +worked all day, and kept watch all night for six weeks, and one morning +he was found dead upon his chest." + +"God bless my soul!" cried I; "and yet, on shore, they say he is such a +kind man to his midshipmen." + +"Yes," replied Robinson, "he spreads that report every where. Now, +observe, when you first call upon him, and report your having come to +join his ship, he'll tell you that he is very happy to see you, and that +he hopes your family are well--then he'll recommend you to go on board +and learn your duty. After that, stand clear. Now, recollect what I have +said, and see if it does not prove true. Come, sit down with us and take +a glass of grog; it will keep your spirits up." + +These midshipmen told me so much about my captain, and the horrid +cruelties which he had practised, that I had some doubts whether I had +not better set off home again. When I asked their opinion, they said, +that if I did, I should be taken up as a deserter and hanged; that my +best plan was to beg his acceptance of a few gallons of rum, for he was +very fond of grog, and that then I might perhaps be in his good graces, +as long as the rum might last. + +I am sorry to state that the midshipmen made me very tipsy that evening. +I don't recollect being put to bed, but I found myself there the next +morning, with a dreadful headache, and a very confused recollection of +what had passed. I was very much shocked at my having so soon forgotten +the injunctions of my parents, and was making vows never to be so +foolish again, when in came the midshipman who had been so kind to me +the night before. "Come, Mr Bottlegreen," he bawled out, alluding, I +suppose, to the colour of my clothes, "rouse and bitt. There's the +captain's coxswain waiting for you below. By the powers, you're in a +pretty scrape for what you did last night!" + +"Did last night!" replied I, astonished. "Why, does the captain know +that I was tipsy?" + +"I think you took devilish good care to let him know it when you were at +the theatre." + +"At the theatre! was I at the theatre?" + +"To be sure you were. You would go, do all we could to prevent you, +though you were as drunk as David's sow. Your captain was there with the +admiral's daughters. You called him a tyrant and snapped your fingers at +him. Why, don't you recollect? You told him that you did not care a fig +for him." + +"Oh dear! oh dear! what shall I do? what shall I do?" cried I: "My +mother cautioned me so about drinking and bad company." + +"Bad company, you whelp--what do you mean by that?" + +"O, I did not particularly refer to you." + +"I should hope not! However, I recommend you, as a friend, to go to the +George Inn as fast as you can, and see your captain, for the longer you +stay away, the worse it will be for you. At all events, it will be +decided whether he receives you or not. It is fortunate for you that you +are not on the ship's books. Come, be quick, the coxswain is gone back." + +"Not on the ship's books," replied I sorrowfully. "Now I recollect there +was a letter from the captain to my father, stating that he had put me +on the books." + +"Upon my honour, I'm sorry--very sorry indeed," replied the midshipman; +--and he quitted the room, looking as grave as if the misfortune had +happened to himself. I got up with a heavy head, and heavier heart, and +as soon as I was dressed, I asked the way to the George Inn. I took my +letter of introduction with me, although I was afraid it would be of +little service. When I arrived, I asked, with a trembling voice, whether +Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage, of H.M. ship _Diomede_, was staying +there. The waiter replied, that he was at breakfast with Captain +Courtney, but that he would take up my name. I gave it him, and in a +minute the waiter returned, and desired that I would walk up. O how my +heart beat!--I never was so frightened--I thought I should have dropped +on the stairs. Twice I attempted to walk into the room, and each time my +legs failed me; at last I wiped the perspiration from my forehead, and +with a desperate effort I went into the room. + +"Mr Simple, I am glad to see you," said a voice. I had held my head +down, for I was afraid to look at him, but the voice was so kind that I +mustered up courage; and, when I did look up, there sat with his uniform +and epaulets, and his sword by his side, the passenger in the plaid +cloak, who wanted to open my letter, and whom I had told to his face, +that he was _no gentleman_. + +I thought I should have died as the other midshipman did upon his chest. +I was just sinking down upon my knees to beg for mercy, when the captain +perceiving my confusion, burst out into a laugh, and said, "So you know +me again, Mr Simple? Well, don't be alarmed, you did your duty in not +permitting me to open the letter, supposing me, as you did, to be some +other person, and you were perfectly right, under that supposition, to +tell me that I was not a gentleman. I give you credit for your conduct. +Now sit down and take some breakfast." + +"Captain Courtney," said he to the other captain, who was at the table, +"this is one of my youngsters just entering the service. We were +passengers yesterday by the same coach." He then told him the +circumstance which occurred, at which they laughed heartily. + +I now recovered my spirits a little--but still there was the affair at +the theatre, and I thought that perhaps he did not recognize me. I was, +however, soon relieved from my anxiety by the other captain inquiring, +"Were you at the theatre last night, Savage?" + +"No; I dined at the admiral's; there's no getting away from those girls, +they are so pleasant." + +"I rather think you are a little--_taken_ in that quarter." + +"No, on my word! I might be if I had time to discover which I liked +best; but my ship is at present my wife, and the only wife I intend to +have until I am laid on the shelf." + +Well, thought I, if he was not at the theatre, it could not have been +him that I insulted. Now if I can only give him the rum, and make +friends with him. + +"Pray, Mr Simple, how are your father and mother?" said the captain. + +"Very well, I thank you, sir, and desire me to present their +compliments." + +"I am obliged to them. Now I think the sooner you go on board and learn +your duty the better." (Just what the midshipman told me--the very +words, thought I--then it's all true--and I began to tremble again.) + +"I have a little advice to offer you," continued the captain. "In the +first place, obey your superior officers without hesitation; it is for +me, not you, to decide whether an order is unjust or not. In the next +place, never swear or drink spirits. The first is immoral and +ungentleman-like, the second is a vile habit which will grow upon you. I +never touch spirit myself, and I expect that my young gentlemen will +refrain from it also. Now you may go, and as soon as your uniforms +arrive, you will repair on board. In the meantime, as I had some little +insight into your character when we travelled together, let me recommend +you not to be too intimate at first sight with those you meet, or you +may be led into indiscretions. Good morning." + +I quitted the room with a low bow, glad to have surmounted so easily +what appeared to be a chaos of difficulty; but my mind was confused with +the testimony of the midshipman, so much at variance with the language +and behaviour of the captain. When I arrived at the Blue Posts, I found +all the midshipmen in the coffee-room, and I repeated to them all that +had passed. When I had finished, they burst out laughing, and said that +they had only been joking with me. "Well," said I to the one who had +called me up in the morning, "you may call it joking, but I call it +lying." + +"Pray, Mr Bottlegreen, do you refer to me?" + +"Yes, I do," replied I. + +"Then, sir, as a gentleman, I demand satisfaction. Slugs in a saw-pit. +Death before dishonour, d----e!" + +"I shall not refuse you," replied I, "although I had rather not fight a +duel; my father cautioned me on the subject, desiring me, if possible, +to avoid it, as it was flying in the face of my Creator; but aware that +I must uphold my character as an officer, he left me to my own +discretion, should I ever be so unfortunate as to be in such a dilemma." + +"Well, we don't want one of your father's sermons at second-hand," +replied the midshipman, (for I had told them that my father was a +clergyman); "the plain question is, will you fight, or will you not?" + +"Could not the affair be arranged otherwise?" interrupted another. "Will +not Mr Bottlegreen retract?" + +"My name is Simple, sir, and not Bottlegreen," replied I; "and as he did +tell a falsehood, I will not retract." + +"Then the affair must go on," said the midshipman. "Robinson, will you +oblige me by acting as my second?" + +"It's an unpleasant business," replied the other; "you are so good a +shot; but as you request it, I shall not refuse. Mr Simple is not, I +believe, provided with a friend." + +"Yes, he is," replied another of the midshipmen. "He is a spunky fellow, +and I'll be his second." + +It was then arranged that we should meet the next morning, with pistols. +I considered that as an officer and a gentleman, I could not well +refuse; but I was very unhappy. Not three days left to my own guidance, +and I had become intoxicated, and was now to fight a duel. I went up +into my room and wrote a long letter to my mother, enclosing a lock of +my hair; and having shed a few tears at the idea of how sorry she would +be if I were killed, I borrowed a bible from the waiter, and read it +during the remainder of the day. + + + + +Chapter IV + +I am taught on a cold morning, before breakfast, how to stand fire, and +thus prove my courage--After breakfast I also prove my gallantry--My +proof meets reproof--Woman at the bottom of all mischief--By one I lose +my liberty, and, by another, my money. + + +When I began to wake the next morning I could not think what it was that +felt like a weight upon my chest, but as I roused and recalled my +scattered thoughts, I remembered that in an hour or two it would be +decided whether I were to exist another day. I prayed fervently, and +made a resolution in my own mind that I would not have the blood of +another upon my conscience, and would fire my pistol up in the air. And +after I had made that resolution, I no longer felt the alarm which I did +before. Before I was dressed, the midshipman who had volunteered to be +my second, came into my room, and informed me that the affair was to be +decided in the garden behind the inn; that my adversary was a very good +shot, and that I must expect to be winged if not drilled. + +"And what is winged and drilled?" inquired I. "I have not only never +fought a duel, but I have not even fired a pistol in my life." + +He explained what he meant, which was, that being winged implied being +shot through the arm or leg, whereas being drilled was to be shot +through the body. "But," continued he, "is it possible that you have +never fought a duel?" + +"No," replied I; "I am not yet fifteen years old." + +"Not fifteen! why I thought you were eighteen at the least." (But I was +very tall and stout for my age, and people generally thought me older +than I actually was.) + +I dressed myself and followed my second into the garden, where I found +all the midshipmen and some of the waiters of the inn. They all seemed +very merry, as if the life of a fellow-creature was of no consequence. +The seconds talked apart for a little while, and then measured the +ground, which was twelve paces; we then took our stations. I believe +that I turned pale, for my second came to my side and whispered that I +must not be frightened. I replied, that I was not frightened, but that I +considered that it was an awful moment. The second to my adversary then +came up and asked me whether I would make an apology, which I refused to +do as before: they handed a pistol to each of us, and my second showed +me how I was to pull the trigger. It was arranged that at the word +given, we were to fire at the same time. I made sure that I should be +wounded, if not killed, and I shut my eyes as I fired my pistol in the +air. I felt my head swim, and thought I was hurt, but fortunately I was +not. The pistols were loaded again, and we fired a second time. The +seconds then interfered, and it was proposed that we should shake hands, +which I was very glad to do, for I considered my life to have been saved +by a miracle. We all went back to the coffee-room, and sat down to +breakfast. They then told me that they all belonged to the same ship +that I did, and that they were glad to see that I could stand fire, for +the captain was a terrible fellow for cutting-out and running under the +enemy's batteries. + +The next day my chest arrived by the waggon, and I threw off my +"bottle-greens" and put on my uniform. I had no cocked hat, or dirk, as +the warehouse people employed by Mr Handycock did not supply those +articles, and it was arranged that I should procure them at Portsmouth. +When I inquired the price, I found that they cost more money than I had +in my pocket, so I tore up the letter I had written to my mother before +the duel, and wrote another asking for a remittance, to purchase my dirk +and cocked hat. I then walked out in my uniform, not a little proud, I +must confess. I was now an officer in his Majesty's service, not very +high in rank, certainly, but still an officer and a gentleman, and I +made a vow that I would support the character, although I was considered +the greatest fool of the family. + +I had arrived opposite a place called Sally Port, when a young lady, +very nicely dressed, looked at me very hard and said, "Well, Reefer, how +are you off for soap?" I was astonished at the question, and more so at +the interest which she seemed to take in my affairs. I answered, "Thank +you, I am very well off; I have four cakes of Windsor, and two bars of +yellow for washing." She laughed at my reply, and asked me whether I +would walk home and take a bit of dinner with her. I was astonished at +this polite offer, which my modesty induced me to ascribe more to my +uniform than to my own merits, and, as I felt no inclination to refuse +the compliment, I said that I should be most happy. I thought I might +venture to offer my arm, which she accepted, and we proceeded up High +Street on our way to her home. + +Just as we passed the admiral's house, I perceived my captain walking +with two of the admiral's daughters. I was not a little proud to let him +see that I had female acquaintances as well as he had, and, as I passed +him with the young lady under my protection, I took off my hat, and made +him a low bow. To my surprise, not only did he not return the salute, +but he looked at me with a very stern countenance. I concluded that he +was a very proud man, and did not wish the admiral's daughters to +suppose that he knew midshipmen by sight; but I had not exactly made up +my mind on the subject, when the captain, having seen the ladies into +the admiral's house, sent one of the messengers after me to desire that +I would immediately come to him at the George Inn, which was nearly +opposite. + +I apologised to the young lady, and promised to return immediately if +she would wait for me; but she replied, if that was my captain, it was +her idea that I should have a confounded wigging and be sent on board. +So, wishing me good-bye, she left me and continued her way home. I could +as little comprehend all this as why the captain looked so black when I +passed him; but it was soon explained when I went up to him in the +parlour at the George Inn. "I am sorry, Mr Simple," said the captain, +when I entered, "that a lad like you should show such early symptoms of +depravity; still more so, that he should not have the grace which even +the most hardened are not wholly destitute of--I mean to practise +immorality in secret, and not degrade themselves and insult their +captain by unblushingly avowing (I may say glorying in) their iniquity, +by exposing it in broad day, and in the most frequented street of the +town." + +"Sir," replied I with astonishment, "O dear! O dear! what have I done?" + +The captain fixed his keen eyes upon me, so that they appeared to pierce +me through, and nail me to the wall. "Do you pretend to say, sir, that +you were not aware of the character of the person with whom you were +walking just now?" + +"No, sir," replied I; "except that she was very kind and good-natured;" +and then I told him how she had addressed me, and what subsequently took +place. + +"And is it possible, Mr Simple, that you are so great a fool?" I replied +that I certainly was considered the greatest fool of our family. "I +should think you were," replied he, drily. He then explained to me who +the person was with whom I was in company, and how any association with +her would inevitably lead to my ruin and disgrace. + +I cried very much, for I was shocked at the narrow escape which I had +had, and mortified at having fallen in his good opinion. He asked me how +I had employed my time since I had been at Portsmouth, and I made an +acknowledgment of having been made tipsy, related all that the +midshipmen had told me, and how I had that morning fought a duel. + +He listened to my whole story very attentively, and I thought that +occasionally there was a smile upon his face, although he bit his lips +to prevent it. When I had finished, he said, "Mr Simple, I can no longer +trust you on shore until you are more experienced in the world. I shall +desire my coxswain not to lose sight of you until you are safe on board +of the frigate. When you have sailed a few months with me, you will then +be able to decide whether I deserve the character which the young +gentlemen have painted, with, I must say, I believe, the sole intention +of practising upon your inexperience." + +Altogether I did not feel sorry when it was over. I saw that the captain +believed what I had stated, and that he was disposed to be kind to me, +although he thought me very silly. The coxswain, in obedience to his +orders, accompanied me to the Blue Posts. I packed up my clothes, paid +my bill, and the porter wheeled my chest down to the Sally Port, where +the boat was waiting. + +"Come, heave a-head, my lads, be smart. The captain says we are to take +the young gentleman on board directly. His liberty's stopped for getting +drunk and running after the Dolly Mops!" + +"I should thank you to be more respectful in your remarks, Mr Coxswain," +said I with displeasure. + +"Mister Coxswain! thanky, sir, for giving me a handle to my name," +replied he. "Come, be smart with your oars, my lads!" + +"La, Bill Freeman," said a young woman on the beach, "what a nice young +gentleman you have there! He looks like a sucking Nelson. I say, my +pretty young officer, could you lend me a shilling?" + +I was so pleased at the woman calling me a young Nelson, that I +immediately complied with her request. "I have not a shilling in my +pocket," said I, "but here is half-a-crown, and you can change it and +bring me back the eighteen pence." + +"Well, you are a nice young man," replied she, taking the half-crown; +"I'll be back directly, my dear." + +The men in the boat laughed, and the coxswain desired them to shove off. + +"No," observed I, "you must wait for my eighteen pence." + +"We shall wait a devilish long while then, I suspect. I know that girl, +and she has a very bad memory." + +"She cannot be so dishonest or ungrateful," replied I. "Coxswain, I +order you to stay--I am an officer." + +"I know you are, sir, about six hours old: well, then, I must go up and +tell the captain that you have another girl in tow, and that you won't +go on board." + +"Oh no, Mr Coxswain, pray don't; shove off as soon as you please, and +never mind the eighteen pence." + +The boat then shoved off, and pulled towards the ship, which lay at +Spithead. + + + + +Chapter V + +I am introduced to the quarter-deck and first lieutenant, who pronounces +me very clever--Trotted below to Mrs Trotter--Connubial bliss in a +cock-pit--Mr Trotter takes me in as a mess-mate--Feel very much +surprised that so many people know that I am the son of--my father. + + +On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to +the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note, +looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another +lieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. As long as it was not +popular, if we had not much education, we at least had the chance that +natural abilities gave us; but now that great people send their sons for +a provision into the navy, we have all the refuse of their families, as +if anything was good enough to make a captain of a man-of-war, who has +occasionally more responsibility on his shoulders, and is placed in +situations requiring more judgment, than any other people in existence. +Here's another of the fools of a family made a present of to the +country--another cub for me to lick into shape. Well, I never saw the +one yet I did not make something of. Where's Mr Simple?" + +"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I had +overheard. + +"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe, and pay +particular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note +that you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in +that way. You're something like the monkeys, who won't speak because +they are afraid they will be made to work. I have looked attentively at +your face, and I see at once that you are _very clever_, and if you do +not prove so in a very short time, why--you had better jump overboard, +that's all. Perfectly understand me. I know that you are a very clever +fellow, and having told you so, don't you pretend to impose upon me, for +it won't do." + +I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was +pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in +my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation. + +"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come on +deck." + +The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologized for being so +dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short, +thick-set man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red +club to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers. + +"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman who +has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock +slung. You must look after him a little." + +"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," replied +Mr Trotter; "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster." +Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another, +and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which +when I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit. + +"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest, +"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck above +this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you as +a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly; +the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind +that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is on +board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be here +directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net of +potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permission +for you to mess with us. You will then be away from the midshipmen, who +are a sad set, and will teach you nothing but what is immoral and +improper, and you will have the advantage of being in good society, for +Mrs Trotter has kept the very best in England. I make you this offer +because I want to oblige the first lieutenant, who appears to take an +interest about you, otherwise I am not very fond of having any intrusion +upon my domestic happiness." + +I replied that I was much obliged to him for his kindness, and that if +it would not put Mrs Trotter to an inconvenience, I should be happy to +accept of his offer; indeed, I thought myself very fortunate in having +met with such a friend. I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived a +pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us, +and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who came down the +ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes. + +"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a very +pretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to Mr +Simple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who, with +your permission, will join our mess." + +"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thought +that nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady, +simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed. + +"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there anything to be +ashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. I +believe I mentioned his desire to join our mess." + +"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange place +for me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have been +accustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than lose +the company of my dear Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniary +matters--" + +"Say no more about it, my love. Domestic happiness is everything, and +will enliven even the gloom of a cock-pit." + +"And yet," continued Mrs Trotter, "when I think of the time when we used +to live in London, and keep our carriage. Have you ever been in London, +Mr Simple?" I answered that I had. + +"Then, probably, you may have been acquainted with, or have heard of, +the Smiths?" + +I replied that the only people that I knew there were a Mr and Mrs +Handycock. + +"Well, if I had known that you were in London, I should have been very +glad to have given you a letter of introduction to the Smiths. They are +quite the topping people of the place." + +"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look after +our dinner?" + +"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces to-day. Mr +Simple, will you excuse me?" and then, with a great deal of flirtation +and laughing about her ankles, and requesting me, as a favour, to turn +my face away, Mrs Trotter ascended the ladder. + +As the reader may wish to know what sort of looking personage she was, I +will take this opportunity to describe her. Her figure was very good, +and at one period of her life I thought her face must have been very +handsome; at the time I was introduced to her, it showed the ravages of +time or hardship very distinctly; in short, she might be termed a faded +beauty, flaunting in her dress, and not very clean in her person. + +"Charming woman, Mrs Trotter, is she not, Mr Simple?" said the master's +mate; to which, of course, I immediately acquiesced. "Now, Mr Simple," +continued he, "there are a few arrangements which I had better mention +while Mrs Trotter is away, for she would be shocked at our talking about +such things. Of course, the style of living which we indulge in is +rather expensive. Mrs Trotter cannot dispense with her tea and her other +little comforts; at the same time I must put you to no extra expense--I +had rather be out of pocket myself. I propose that during the time you +mess with us you shall only pay one guinea per week; and as for entrance +money, why I think I must not charge you more than a couple of guineas. +Have you any money?" + +"Yes," I replied, "I have three guineas and a half left." + +"Well, then, give me the three guineas, and the half-guinea you can +reserve for pocket-money. You must write to your friends immediately for +a further supply." + +I handed him the money, which he put in his pocket. "Your chest," +continued he, "you shall bring down here, for Mrs Trotter will, I am +sure, if I request it, not only keep it in order for you, but see that +your clothes are properly mended. She is a charming woman, Mrs Trotter, +and very fond of young gentlemen. How old are you?" + +I replied that I was fifteen. + +"No more! well, I am glad of that, for Mrs Trotter is very particular +after a certain age. I should recommend you on no account to associate +with the other midshipmen. They are very angry with me, because I would +not permit Mrs Trotter to join their mess, and they are sad +story-tellers." + +"That they certainly are," replied I; but here we were interrupted by +Mrs Trotter coming down with a piece of stick in her hand upon which +were skewered about a dozen small pieces of beef and pork, which she +first laid on a plate, and then began to lay the cloth and prepare for +dinner. + +"Mr Simple is only fifteen, my dear," observed Mr Trotter. + +"Dear me!" replied Mrs Trotter, "why, how tall he is! He is quite as +tall for his age as young Lord Foutretown, whom you used to take out +with you in the _chay_. Do you know Lord Foutretown, Mr Simple?" + +"No, I do not, ma'am," replied I; but wishing to let them know that I +was well connected, I continued, "but I dare say that my grandfather, +Lord Privilege, does." + +"God bless me! is Lord Privilege your grandfather? Well, I thought I saw +a likeness somewhere. Don't you recollect Lord Privilege, my dear +Trotter, that we met at Lady Scamp's--an elderly person? It's very +ungrateful of you not to recollect him, for he sent you a very fine +haunch of venison." + +"Privilege--bless me, yes. Oh, yes! an old gentleman, is he not?" said +Mr Trotter, appealing to me. + +"Yes, sir," replied I, quite delighted to find myself among those who +were acquainted with my family. + +"Well, then, Mr Simple," said Mrs Trotter, "since we have the pleasure +of being acquainted with your family, I shall now take you under my own +charge, and I shall be so fond of you that Trotter shall become quite +jealous," added she, laughing. "We have but a poor dinner to-day, for +the bumboat woman disappointed me. I particularly requested her to bring +me off a leg of lamb, but she says that there was none in the market. It +is rather early for it, that's true; but Trotter is very nice in his +eating. Now, let us sit down to dinner." + +I felt very sick, indeed, and could eat nothing. Our dinner consisted of +the pieces of beef and pork, the potatoes, and a baked pudding in a tin +dish. Mr Trotter went up to serve the spirits out to the ship's company, +and returned with a bottle of rum. + +"Have you got Mr Simple's allowance, my love?" inquired Mrs Trotter. + +"Yes; he is victualled to-day, as he came on board before twelve +o'clock. Do you drink spirits, Mr Simple?" + +"No, I thank you," replied I; for I remembered the captain's injunction. + +"Taking, as I do, such an interest in your welfare, I must earnestly +recommend you to abstain from them," said Mr Trotter. "It is a very bad +habit, and once acquired, not easy to be left off. I am obliged to drink +them, that I may not check the perspiration after working in the hold; I +have, nevertheless, a natural abhorrence of them; but my champagne and +claret days are gone by, and I must submit to circumstances." + +"My poor Trotter!" said the lady. + +"Well," continued he, "it's a poor heart that never rejoiceth." He then +poured out half a tumbler of rum, and filled the glass up with water. + +"My love, will you taste it?" + +"Now, Trotter, you know that I never touch it, except when the water is +so bad that I must have the taste taken away. How is the water to-day?" + +"As usual, my dear, not drinkable." After much persuasion Mrs Trotter +agreed to sip a little out of his glass. I thought that she took it +pretty often, considering that she did not like it, but I felt so unwell +that I was obliged to go on the main-deck. There I was met by a +midshipman whom I had not seen before. He looked very earnestly in my +face, and then asked my name. "Simple," said he. "What, are you the son +of old Simple?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I, astonished that so many should know my family. + +"Well, I thought so by the likeness. And how is your father?" + +"Very well, I thank you, sir." + +"When you write to him, make my compliments, and tell him that I desired +to be particularly remembered to him;" and he walked forward, but as he +forgot to mention his own name, I could not do it. + +I went to bed very tired; Mr Trotter had my hammock hung up in the +cock-pit, separated by a canvas-screen from the cot in which he slept +with his wife. I thought this very odd, but they told me it was the +general custom on board ship, although Mrs Trotter's delicacy was very +much shocked by it. I was very sick, but Mrs Trotter was very kind. When +I was in bed she kissed me, and wished me good night, and very soon +afterwards I fell fast asleep. + + + + +Chapter VI + +Puzzled with very common words--Mrs Trotter takes care of my wardrobe--A +matrimonial duet, ending _con strepito_. + + +I awoke the next morning at daylight with a noise over my head which +sounded like thunder; I found it proceeded from holystoning and washing +down the main-deck. I was very much refreshed nevertheless, and did not +feel the least sick or giddy. Mr Trotter, who had been up at four +o'clock, came down, and directed one of the marines to fetch me some +water. I washed myself on my chest, and then went on the main-deck, +which they were swabbing dry. Standing by the sentry at the cabin-door, +I met one of the midshipmen with whom I had been in company at the Blue +Posts. + +"So, Master Simple, old Trotter and his faggot of a wife have got hold +of you--have they?" said he. I replied, that I did not know the meaning +of faggot, but that I considered Mrs Trotter a very charming woman. At +which he burst into a loud laugh. "Well," said he, "I'll just give you a +caution. Take care, or they'll make a clean sweep. Has Mrs Trotter shown +you her ankle yet?" + +"Yes," I replied, "and a very pretty one it is." + +"Ah! she's at her old tricks. You had much better have joined our mess +at once. You're not the first greenhorn that they have plucked. Well," +said he, as he walked away, "keep the key of your own chest--that's +all." + +But as Mr Trotter had warned me that the midshipmen would abuse them, I +paid very little attention to what he said. When he left me I went on +the quarter-deck. All the sailors were busy at work, and the first +lieutenant cried out to the gunner, "Now, Mr Dispart, if you are ready, +we'll breech these guns." + +"Now, my lads," said the first lieutenant, "we must slue (the part that +breeches cover) more forward." As I never heard of a gun having +breeches, I was very anxious to see what was going on, and went up close +to the first lieutenant, who said to me, "Youngster, hand me that +_monkey's tail_." I saw nothing like a _monkeys tail_, but I was so +frightened that I snatched up the first thing that I saw, which was a +short bar of iron, and it so happened that it was the very article which +he wanted. When I gave it to him, the first lieutenant looked at me, and +said, "So you know what a monkey's tail is already, do you? Now don't +you ever sham stupid after that." + +Thought I to myself, I'm very lucky, but if that's a monkey's tail it's +a very stiff one! + +I resolved to learn the names of everything as fast as I could, that I +might be prepared; so I listened attentively to what was said; but I +soon became quite confused, and despaired of remembering anything. + +"How is this to be finished off, sir?" inquired a sailor of the +boatswain. + +"Why, I beg leave to hint to you, sir, in the most delicate manner in +the world," replied the boatswain, "that it must be with a +_double-wall_--and be d----d to you--don't you know that yet? Captain +of the foretop," said he, "up on your _horses_, and take your _stirrups_ +up three inches."--"Ay, ay, sir." (I looked and looked, but I could see +no horses.) + +"Mr Chucks," said the first lieutenant to the boatswain, "what blocks +have we below--not on charge?" + +"Let me see, sir, I've one _sister_, t'other we split in half the other +day, and I think I have a couple of _monkeys_ down in the store-room.--I +say, you Smith, pass that brace through the _bull's eye,_ and take the +_sheepshank_ out before you come down." + +And then he asked the first lieutenant whether something should not be +fitted with a _mouse_ or only a _Turk's head_--told him the _goose-neck_ +must be spread out by the armourer as soon as the forge was up. In +short, what with _dead eyes_ and _shrouds, cats_ and _cat-blocks, +dolphins_ and _dolphin-strikers, whips_ and _puddings_, I was so puzzled +with what I heard, that I was about to leave the deck in absolute +despair. + +"And, Mr Chucks, recollect this afternoon that you _bleed_ all the +_buoys_." + +Bleed the boys, thought I, what can that be for? at all events, the +surgeon appears to be the proper person to perform that operation. + +This last incomprehensible remark drove me off the deck, and I retreated +to the cock-pit, where I found Mrs Trotter. "Oh, my dear!" said she, "I +am glad you are come, as I wish to put your clothes in order. Have you a +list of them--where is your key?" I replied that I had not a list, and I +handed her the key, although I did not forget the caution of the +midshipman; yet I considered that there could be no harm in her looking +over my clothes when I was present. She unlocked my chest, and pulled +everything out, and then commenced telling me what were likely to be +useful and what were not. + +"Now these worsted stockings," she said, "will be very comfortable in +cold weather, and in the summer time these brown cotton socks will be +delightfully cool, and you have enough of each to last you till you +outgrow them; but as for these fine cotton stockings, they are of no +use--only catch the dirt when the decks are swept, and always look +untidy. I wonder how they could be so foolish as to send them; nobody +wears them on board ship nowadays. They are only fit for women--I wonder +if they would fit me." + +She turned her chair away, and put on one of my stockings, laughing the +whole of the time. Then she turned round to me and showed me how nicely +they fitted her. "Bless you, Mr Simple, it's well that Trotter is in the +hold, he'd be so jealous--do you know what these stockings cost? They +are of no use to you, and they fit me. I will speak to Trotter, and take +them off your hands." I replied, that I could not think of selling them, +and as they were of no use to me and fitted her, I begged that she would +accept of the dozen pairs. At first she positively refused, but as I +pressed her, she at last consented, and I was very happy to give them to +her as she was very kind to me, and I thought, with her husband, that +she was a very charming woman. + +We had beef-steaks and onions for dinner that day, but I could not bear +the smell of the onions. Mr Trotter came down very cross, because the +first lieutenant had found fault with him. He swore that he would cut +the service--that he had only remained to oblige the captain, who said +that he would sooner part with his right arm, and that he would demand +satisfaction of the first lieutenant as soon as he could obtain his +discharge. Mrs Trotter did all she could to pacify him, reminded him +that he had the protection of Lord this and Sir Thomas that, who would +see him righted; but in vain. The first lieutenant had told him, he +said, that he was not worth his salt, and blood only could wipe away the +insult. He drank glass of grog after glass of grog, and at each glass +became more violent, and Mrs Trotter drank also, I observed, a great +deal more than I thought she ought to have done; but she whispered to +me, that she drank it that Trotter might not, as he would certainly be +tipsy. I thought this very devoted on her part; but they sat so late +that I went to bed and left them--he still drinking and vowing vengeance +against the first lieutenant. I had not been asleep above two or three +hours when I was awakened by a great noise and quarrelling, and I +discovered that Mr Trotter was drunk and beating his wife. Very much +shocked that such a charming woman should be beaten and ill-used, I +scrambled out of my hammock to see if I could be of any assistance, but +it was dark, although they scuffled as much as before. I asked the +marine, who was sentry at the gun-room door above, to bring his lantern, +and was very much shocked at his replying that I had better go to bed +and let them fight it out. + +Shortly afterwards Mrs Trotter, who had not taken off her clothes, came +from behind the screen. I perceived at once that the poor woman could +hardly stand; she reeled to my chest, where she sat down and cried. I +pulled on my clothes as fast as I could, and then went up to her to +console her, but she could not speak intelligibly. After attempting in +vain to comfort her, she made me no answer, but staggered to my hammock, +and, after several attempts, succeeded in getting into it. I cannot say +that I much liked that, but what could I do? So I finished dressing +myself, and went up on the quarter-deck. + +The midshipman who had the watch was the one who had cautioned me +against the Trotters; he was very friendly to me. "Well, Simple," said +he, "what brings you on deck?" I told him how ill Mr Trotter had behaved +to his wife, and how she had turned into my hammock. + +"The cursed drunken old catamaran," cried he; "I'll go and cut her down +by the head;" but I requested he would not, as she was a lady. + +"A lady!" replied he; "yes, there's plenty of ladies of her +description;" and then he informed me that she had many years ago been +the mistress of a man of fortune who kept a carriage for her; but that +he grew tired of her, and had given Trotter L200 to marry her, and that +now they did nothing but get drunk together and fight with each other. + +I was very much annoyed to hear all this; but as I perceived that Mrs +Trotter was not sober, I began to think that what the midshipman said +was true. "I hope," added he, "that she has not had time to wheedle you +out of any of your clothes." + +I told him that I had given her a dozen pairs of stockings, and had paid +Mr Trotter three guineas for my mess. "This must be looked to," replied +he; "I shall speak to the first lieutenant to-morrow. In the mean time, +I shall get your hammock for you. Quarter-master, keep a good look-out." +He then went below, and I followed him, to see what he would do. He went +to my hammock and lowered it down at one end, so that Mrs Trotter lay +with her head on the deck in a very uncomfortable position. To my +astonishment, she swore at him in a dreadful manner, but refused to turn +out. He was abusing her, and shaking her in the hammock, when Mr +Trotter, who had been roused at the noise, rushed from behind the +screen. "You villain! what are you doing with my wife?" cried he, +pommelling at him as well as he could, for he was so tipsy that he could +hardly stand. + +I thought the midshipman able to take care of himself, and did not wish +to interfere; so I remained above, looking on--the sentry standing by me +with his lantern over the coombings of the hatchway to give light to the +midshipman, and to witness the fray. Mr Trotter was soon knocked down, +when all of a sudden Mrs Trotter jumped up from the hammock, and caught +the midshipman by the hair, and pulled at him. Then the sentry thought +right to interfere; he called out for the master-at-arms, and went down +himself to help the midshipman, who was faring badly between the two. +But Mrs Trotter snatched the lantern out of his hand and smashed it all +to pieces, and then we were all left in darkness, and I could not see +what took place, although the scuffling continued. Such was the posture +of affairs when the master-at-arms came up with his light. The +midshipman and sentry went up the ladder, and Mr and Mrs Trotter +continued beating each other. To this, none of them paid any attention, +saying, as the sentry had said before, "Let them fight it out." + +After they had fought some time, they retired behind the screen, and I +followed the advice of the midshipman, and got into my hammock, which +the master-at-arms hung up again for me. I heard Mr and Mrs Trotter both +crying and kissing each other. "Cruel, cruel, Mr Trotter," said she, +blubbering. + +"My life, my love, I was so jealous!" replied he. + +"D--n and blast your jealousy," replied the lady; "I've two nice black +eyes for the galley to-morrow." After about an hour of kissing and +scolding, they both fell asleep again. + +The next morning before breakfast, the midshipman reported to the first +lieutenant the conduct of Mr Trotter and his wife. I was sent for and +obliged to acknowledge that it was all true. He sent for Mr Trotter, who +replied that he was not well, and could not come on deck. Upon which the +first lieutenant ordered the sergeant of marines to bring him up +directly. Mr Trotter made his appearance, with one eye closed, and his +face very much scratched. + +"Did not I desire you, sir," said the first lieutenant, "to introduce +this young gentleman into the midshipmen's berth? instead of which you +have introduced him to that disgraceful wife of yours, and have swindled +him out of his property. I order you immediately to return the three +guineas which you received as mess-money, and also that your wife give +back the stockings which she cajoled him out of." + +But then I interposed, and told the first lieutenant that the stockings +had been a free gift on my part and that, although I had been very +foolish, yet that I considered that I could not in honour demand them +back again. + +"Well, youngster," replied the first lieutenant, "perhaps your ideas are +correct, and if you wish it, I will not enforce that part of my order; +but," continued he to Mr Trotter, "I desire, sir, that your wife leave +the ship immediately; and I trust that when I have reported your conduct +to the captain, he will serve you in the same manner. In the meantime, +you will consider yourself under an arrest for drunkenness." + + + + +Chapter VII + +Scandalum magnatum clearly proved--I prove to the captain that I +consider him a gentleman, although I had told him the contrary, and I +prove to the midshipmen that I am a gentleman myself--They prove their +gratitude by practising upon me, because practice makes perfect. + + +The captain came on board about twelve o'clock, and ordered the +discharge of Mr Trotter to be made out, as soon as the first lieutenant +had reported what had occurred. He then sent for all the midshipmen on +the quarter-deck. + +"Gentlemen," said the captain to them, with a stern countenance, "I feel +very much indebted to some of you for the character which you have been +pleased to give of me to Mr Simple. I must now request that you will +answer a few questions which I am about to put in his presence. Did I +ever flog the whole starboard watch because the ship would only sail +nine knots on a bowline?" + +"No, sir, no!" replied they all, very much frightened. + +"Did I ever give a midshipman four dozen for not having his weekly +accounts pipe-clayed; or another five dozen for wearing a scarlet watch +ribbon?" + +"No, sir," replied they all together. + +"Did any midshipman ever die on his chest from fatigue?" + +They again replied in the negative. + +"Then, gentlemen, you will oblige me by stating which of you thought +proper to assert these falsehoods in a public coffee-room; and further, +which of you obliged this youngster to risk his life in a duel?" + +They were all silent. + +"Will you answer me, gentlemen?" + +"With respect to the duel, sir," replied the midshipman who had fought +me, "I _heard_ say, that the pistols were only charged with powder. It +was a joke." + +"Well, sir, we'll allow that the duel was only a joke, (and I hope and +trust that your report is correct); is the reputation of your captain +only a joke, allow me to ask? I request to know who of you dared to +propagate such injurious slander?" (Here there was a dead pause.) "Well, +then, gentlemen, since you will not confess yourselves, I must refer to +my authority. Mr Simple, have the goodness to point out the person or +persons who gave you the information." + +But I thought this would not be fair; and as they had all treated me +very kindly after the duel, I resolved not to tell; so I answered, "If +you please, sir, I consider that I told you all that in confidence." + +"Confidence, sir!" replied the captain; "who ever heard of confidence +between a post-captain and a midshipman?" + +"No, sir," replied I, "not between a post-captain and a midshipman, but +between two gentlemen." + +The first lieutenant, who stood by the captain, put his hand before his +face to hide a laugh. "He may be a fool, sir," observed he to the +captain, aside; "but I can assure you he is a very straight, forward +one." + +The captain bit his lip, and then turning to the midshipmen, said, "You +may thank Mr Simple, gentlemen, that I do not press this matter further. +I do believe that you were not serious when you calumniated me; but +recollect, that what is said in joke is too often repeated in earnest. I +trust that Mr Simple's conduct will have its effect, and that you leave +off practising upon him, who has saved you from a very severe +punishment." + +When the midshipmen went down below, they all shook hands with me, and +said that I was a good fellow for not peaching; but, as for the advice +of the captain that they should not practise upon me, as he termed it, +they forgot that, for they commenced again immediately, and never left +off until they found that I was not to be deceived any longer. + +I had not been ten minutes in the berth, before they began their remarks +upon me. One said that I looked like a hardy fellow, and asked me +whether I could not bear a great deal of sleep. + +I replied that I could, I dare say, if it was necessary for the good of +the service; at which they laughed, and I supposed that I had said a +good thing. + +"Why here's Tomkins," said the midshipman; "he'll show you how to +perform that part of your duty. He inherits it from his father, who was +a marine officer. He can snore for fourteen hours on a stretch without +once turning round in his hammock, and finish his nap on the chest +during the whole of the day, except meal-times." + +But Tomkins defended himself, by saying, that "some people were very +quick in doing things, and others were very slow; that he was one of the +slow ones, and that he did not in reality obtain more refreshment from +his long naps than other people did in short ones, because he slept much +slower than they did." + +This ingenious argument was, however, overruled _nem. con._, as it was +proved that he ate pudding faster than any one in the mess. + +The postman came on board with the letters, and put his head into the +midshipman's berth. I was very anxious to have one from home, but I was +disappointed. Some had letters and some had not. Those who had not, +declared that their parents were very undutiful, and that they would cut +them off with a shilling; and those who had letters, after they had read +them, offered them for sale to the others, usually at half-price. I +could not imagine why they sold, or why the others bought them; but they +did do so; and one that was full of good advice was sold three times, +from which circumstance I was inclined to form a better opinion of the +morals of my companions. The lowest-priced letters sold, were those +written by sisters. I was offered one for a penny, but I declined +buying, as I had plenty of sisters of my own. Directly I made that +observation, they immediately inquired all their names and ages, and +whether they were pretty or not. When I had informed them, they +quarrelled to whom they should belong. One would have Lucy, and another +took Mary; but there was a great dispute about Ellen, as I had said that +she was the prettiest of the whole. At last they agreed to put her up to +auction, and she was knocked down to a master's mate of the name of +O'Brien, who bid seventeen shillings and a bottle of rum. They requested +that I would write home to give their love to my sisters, and tell them +how they had been disposed of, which I thought very strange; but I ought +to have been flattered at the price bid for Ellen, as I repeatedly have +since been witness to a very pretty sister being sold for a glass of +grog. + +I mentioned the reason why I was so anxious for a letter, viz., because +I wanted to buy my dirk and cocked hat; upon which they told me that +there was no occasion for my spending my money, as, by the regulations +of the service, the purser's steward served them out to all the officers +who applied for them. As I knew where the purser's steward's room was, +having seen it when down in the cock-pit with the Trotters, I went down +immediately. "Mr Purser's Steward," said I, "let me have a cocked hat +and a dirk immediately." + +"Very good, sir," replied he, and he wrote an order upon a slip of +paper, which he handed to me. "There is the order for it, sir; but the +cocked hats are kept in the chest up in the main-top; and as for the +dirk, you must apply to the butcher, who has them under his charge." + +I went up with the order, and thought I would first apply for the dirk; +so I inquired for the butcher, whom I found sitting in the sheep-pen +with the sheep, mending his trousers. In reply to my demand, he told me +that he had not the key of the store-room, which was under the charge of +one of the corporals of marines. + +I inquired who, and he said, "Cheeks [1] the marine." + +I went everywhere about the ship, inquiring for Cheeks the marine, but +could not find him. Some said that they believed he was in the fore-top, +standing sentry over the wind, that it might not change; others, that he +was in the galley, to prevent the midshipmen from soaking their biscuit +in the captain's dripping-pan. At last, I inquired of some of the women +who were standing between the guns on the main-deck, and one of them +answered that it was no use looking for him among them, as they all had +husbands, and Cheeks was a _widows man._[2] + +As I could not find the marine, I thought I might as well go for my +cocked hat, and get my dirk afterwards. I did not much like going up the +rigging, because I was afraid of turning giddy, and if I fell overboard +I could not swim; but one of the midshipmen offered to accompany me, +stating that I need not be afraid, if I fell overboard, of sinking to +the bottom, as if I was giddy, my head, at all events, _would swim_; so +I determined to venture. I climbed up very near to the main-top, but not +without missing the little ropes very often, and grazing the skin of my +shins. Then I came to large ropes stretched out from the mast, so that +you must climb them with your head backwards. The midshipman told me +these were called the cat-harpings, because they were so difficult to +climb, that a cat would expostulate if ordered to go out by them. I was +afraid to venture, and then he proposed that I should go through +lubber's hole, which he said had been made for people like me. I agreed +to attempt it, as it appeared more easy, and at last arrived, quite out +of breath, and very happy to find myself in the main-top. + +The captain of the main-top was there with two other sailors. The +midshipman introduced me very politely:--"Mr Jenkins--Mr Simple, +midshipman,--Mr Simple, Mr Jenkins, captain of the main-top. Mr Jenkins, +Mr Simple has come up with an order for a cocked hat." The captain of +the top replied that he was very sorry that he had not one in store, but +the last had been served out to the captain's monkey. This was very +provoking. The captain of the top then asked me if I was ready with my +_footing_. + +I replied, "Not very, for I had lost it two or three times when coming +up." He laughed and replied, that I should lose it altogether before I +went down; and that I must _hand_ it out. "_Hand_ out my _footing_!" +said I, puzzled, and appealing to the midshipman; "what does he mean?" +"He means that you must fork out a seven-shilling bit." I was just as +wise as ever, and stared very much; when Mr Jenkins desired the other +men to get half a dozen _foxes_ and make a _spread eagle_ of me, unless +he had his parkisite. I never should have found out what it all meant, +had not the midshipman, who laughed till he cried, at last informed me +that it was the custom to give the men something to drink the first time +that I came aloft, and that if I did not, they would tie me up to the +rigging. + +Having no money in my pocket, I promised to pay them as soon as I went +below; but Mr Jenkins would not trust me. I then became very angry, and +inquired of him "if he doubted my honour." He replied, "Not in the +least, but that he must have the seven shillings before I went below." +"Why, sir," said I, "do you know whom you are speaking to? I am an +officer and a gentleman. Do you know who my grandfather is?" + +"O yes," replied he, "very well." + +"Then, who is he, sir?" replied I very angrily. + +"Who is he! why he's the _Lord knows who_." + +"No," replied I, "that's not his name; he is Lord Privilege." (I was +very much surprised that he knew that my grandfather was a lord.) "And +do you suppose," continued I, "that I would forfeit the honour of my +family for a paltry seven shillings?" + +This observation of mine, and a promise on the part of the midshipman, +who said he would be bail for me, satisfied Mr Jenkins, and he allowed +me to go down the rigging. I went to my chest, and paid the seven +shillings to one of the top-men who followed me, and then went up on the +main-deck, to learn as much as I could of my profession. I asked a great +many questions of the midshipmen relative to the guns, and they crowded +round me to answer them. One told me they were called the frigate's +_teeth_, because they stopped the Frenchman's _jaw._ Another midshipman +said that he had been so often in action, that he was called the +_Fire-eater_. I asked him how it was that he escaped being killed. He +replied that he always made it a rule, upon the first cannon-ball coming +through the ship's side, to put his head into the hole which it had +made; as, by a calculation made by Professor Innman, the odds were +32,647, and some decimals to boot, that another ball would not come in +at the same hole. That's what I never should have thought of. + +FOOTNOTES: +[1] This celebrated personage is the prototype of Mr Nobody on board of +a man-of-war. + +[B] Widows' men are imaginary sailors, borne on the books, and receiving +pay and prize-money, which is appropriated to Greenwich Hospital. + + + + +Chapter VIII + +My messmates show me the folly of running in debt--Duty carried on +politely--I become acquainted with some gentlemen of the home +department--The episode of Sholto M'Foy. + + +Now that I have been on board about a month, I find that my life is not +disagreeable. I don't smell the pitch and tar, and I can get into my +hammock without tumbling out on the other side. My messmates are +good-tempered, although they laugh at me very much; but I must say that +they are not very nice in their ideas of honour They appear to consider +that to take you in is a capital joke; and that because they laugh at +the time that they are cheating you, it then becomes no cheating at all. +Now I cannot think otherwise than that cheating is cheating, and that a +person is not a bit more honest, because he laughs at you in the +bargain. A few days after I came on board, I purchased some tarts of the +bumboat woman, as she is called; I wished to pay for them, but she had +no change, and very civilly told me she would trust me. She produced a +narrow book, and said that she would open an account with me, and I +could pay her when I thought proper. To this arrangement I had no +objection, and I sent up for different things until I thought that my +account must have amounted to eleven or twelve shillings. As I promised +my father that I never would run in debt, I considered that it was then +time that it should be settled. When I asked for it, what was my +surprise to find that it amounted to L2 14s. 6d. I declared that it was +impossible, and requested that she would allow me to look at the items, +when I found that I was booked for at least three or four dozen tarts +every day, ordered by the young gentlemen, "to be put down to Mr +Simple's account." I was very much shocked, not only at the sum of money +which I had to pay, but also at the want of honesty on the part of my +messmates; but when I complained of it in the berth, they all laughed at +me. + +At last one of them said, "Peter, tell the truth; did not your father +caution you not to run in debt?" + +"Yes, he did," replied I. + +"I know that very well," replied he; "all fathers do the same when their +sons leave them; it's a matter of course. Now observe, Peter; it is out +of regard to you, that your messmates have been eating tarts at your +expense You disobeyed your father's injunctions before you had been a +month from home; and it is to give you a lesson that may be useful in +after-life, that they have considered it their duty to order the tarts. +I trust that it will not be thrown away upon you. Go to the woman, pay +your bill, and never run up another." + +"That I certainly shall not," replied I; but as I could not prove who +ordered the tarts, and did not think it fair that the woman should lose +her money, I went up and paid the bill with a determination never to +open an account with anybody again. + +But this left my pockets quite empty, so I wrote to my father, stating +the whole transaction, and the consequent state of my finances. My +father, in his answer, observed that whatever might have been their +motives, my messmates had done me a friendly act; and that as I had lost +my money by my own carelessness, I must not expect that he would allow +me any more pocket-money. But my mother, who added a postscript to his +letter, slipped in a five-pound note, and I do believe that it was with +my father's sanction, although he pretended to be very angry at my +forgetting his injunctions. This timely relief made me quite comfortable +again. What a pleasure it is to receive a letter from one's friends when +far away, especially when there is same money in it! + +A few days before this, Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, ordered me to +put on my side-arms to go away on duty. I replied that I had neither +dirk nor cocked hat, although I had applied for them. He laughed at my +story, and sent me on shore with the master, who bought them, and the +first lieutenant sent up the bill to my father, who paid it, and wrote +to thank him for his trouble. That morning, the first lieutenant said to +me, "Now, Mr Simple, we'll take the shine off that cocked hat and dirk +of yours. You will go in the boat with Mr O'Brien, and take care that +none of the men slip away from it, and get drunk at the tap." + +This was the first time that I had ever been sent away on duty, and I +was very proud of being an officer in charge. I put on my full uniform, +and was ready at the gangway a quarter of an hour before the men were +piped away. We were ordered to the dockyard to draw sea stores. When we +arrived there, I was quite astonished at the piles of timber, the ranges +of storehouses, and the immense anchors which lay on the wharf. There +was such a bustle, every body appeared to be so busy, that I wanted to +look every way at once. Close to where the boat landed, they were +hauling a large frigate out of what they called the basin; and I was so +interested with the sight, that I am sorry to say I quite forgot all +about the boat's crew, and my orders to look after them. What surprised +me most was, that although the men employed appeared to be sailors, +their language was very different from what I had been lately accustomed +to on board of the frigate. Instead of damning and swearing, everybody +was so polite. "Oblige me with a pull of the starboard bow hawser, Mr +Jones."--"Ease off the larboard hawser, Mr Jenkins, if you please."-- +"Side her over, gentlemen, side her over."--"My compliments to Mr +Tompkins, and request that he will cast off the quarter-check."--"Side +her over, gentlemen, side her over, if you please."--"In the boat there, +pull to Mr Simmons, and beg he'll do me the favour to check her as she +swings. What's the matter, Mr Johnson?"--"Vy, there's one of them ere +midshipmites has thrown a red hot tater out of the stern-port, and hit +our officer in the eye."--"Report him to the commissioner, Mr Wiggins; +and oblige me by under-running the guess-warp. Tell Mr Simkins, with my +compliments, to coil away upon the jetty. Side her over, side her over, +gentlemen, if you please." + +I asked of a bystander who these people were, and he told me that they +were dockyard mateys. I certainly thought that it appeared to be quite +as easy to say "If you please," as "D----n your eyes," and that it +sounded much more agreeable. + +During the time that I was looking at the frigate being hauled out, two +of the men belonging to the boat slipped away, and on my return they +were not to be seen. I was very much frightened, for I knew that I had +neglected my duty, and that on the first occasion on which I had been +intrusted with a responsible service. What to do I did not know I ran up +and down every part of the dockyard until I was quite out of breath, +asking everybody I met whether they had seen my two men. Many of them +said that they had seen plenty of men, but did not exactly know mine; +some laughed, and called me a greenhorn. At last I met a midshipman, who +told me that he had seen two men answering to my description on the roof +of the coach starting for London, and that I must be quick if I wished +to catch them; but he would not stop to answer any more questions. I +continued walking about the yard until I met twenty or thirty men with +grey jackets and breeches, to whom I applied for information: they told +me that they had seen two sailors skulking behind the piles of timber. +They crowded round me, and appeared very anxious to assist me, when they +were summoned away to carry down a cable. I observed that they all had +numbers on their jackets, and either one or two bright iron rings on +their legs. I could not help inquiring, although I was in such a hurry, +why the rings were worn. One of them replied that they were orders of +merit, given to them for their good behaviour. + +I was proceeding on very disconsolately, when, as I turned a corner, to +my great delight, I met my two men, who touched their hats and said that +they had been looking for me. I did not believe that they told the +truth, but I was so glad to recover them that I did not scold, but went +with them down to the boat, which had been waiting some time for us. +O'Brien, the master's mate, called me a young sculping,[1] a word I +never heard before. When we arrived on board, the first lieutenant asked +O'Brien why he had remained so long. He answered that two of the men had +left the boat, but that I had found them. The first lieutenant appeared +to be pleased with me, observing, as he had said before, that I was no +fool, and I went down below, overjoyed at my good fortune, and very much +obliged to O'Brien for not telling the whole truth. After I had taken +off my dirk and cocked hat, I felt for my pocket-handkerchief, and found +that it was not in my pocket, having in all probability been taken out +by the men in grey jackets, whom, in conversation with my messmates, I +discovered to be convicts condemned to hard labour for stealing and +picking pockets. + +A day or two afterwards, we had a new messmate of the name of M'Foy. I +was on the quarter-deck when he came on board and presented a letter to +the captain, inquiring first if his name was "Captain Sauvage." He was a +florid young man, nearly six feet high, with sandy hair, yet very +good-looking. As his career in the service was very short, I will tell +at once, what I did not find out till some time afterwards. The captain +had agreed to receive him to oblige a brother officer, who had retired +from the service, and lived in the Highlands of Scotland. The first +notice which the captain had of the arrival of Mr M'Foy, was from a +letter written to him by the young man's uncle. This amused him so much, +that he gave it to the first lieutenant to read: it ran as follows:-- + + "Glasgow, April 25, 1--- + + "Sir,--Our much esteemed and mutual friend, Captain M'Alpine, having + communicated by letter, dated the 14th inst., your kind intentions + relative to my nephew Sholto M'Foy, (for which you will be pleased to + accept my best thanks), I write to acquaint you that he is now on his + way to join your ship, the _Diomede_, and will arrive, God + willing, twenty-six hours after the receipt of this letter. + + "As I have been given to understand by those who have some + acquaintance with the service of the king, that his equipment as an + officer will be somewhat expensive, I have considered it but fair to + ease your mind as to any responsibility on that score, and have + therefore enclosed the half of a Bank of England note for ten pounds + sterling, No. 3742, the other half of which will be duly forwarded in + a frank promised to me the day after to-morrow. I beg you will make + the necessary purchases, and apply the balance, should there be any, + to his mess account, or any other expenses which you may consider + warrantable or justifiable. + + "It is at the same time proper to inform you, that Sholto had ten + shillings in his pocket at the time of his leaving Glasgow; the + satisfactory expenditure of which I have no doubt you will inquire + into, as it is a large sum to be placed at the discretion of a youth + only fourteen years and five months old. I mention his age, as Sholto + is so tall that you might be deceived by his appearance, and be + induced to trust to his prudence in affairs of this serious nature. + Should he at any time require further assistance beyond his pay, which + I am told is extremely handsome to all king's officers, I beg you to + consider that any draught of yours, at ten days' sight, to the amount + of five pounds sterling English, will be duly honoured by the firm of + Monteith, M'Killop, and Company, of Glasgow. Sir, with many thanks for + your kindness and consideration, + + "I remain, your most obedient, + + "WALTER MONTEITH." + +The letter brought on board by M'Foy was to prove his identity. While +the captain read it, M'Foy stared about him like a wild stag. The +captain welcomed him to the ship, asked him one or two questions, +introduced him to the first lieutenant, and then went on shore. The +first lieutenant had asked me to dine in the gun-room; I supposed that +he was pleased with me because I had found the men; and when the captain +pulled on shore, he also invited Mr M'Foy, when the following +conversation took place. + +"Well, Mr M'Foy, you have had a long journey; I presume it is the first +that you have ever made." + +"Indeed it is, sir," replied M'Foy; "and sorely I've been pestered. Had +I minded all they whispered in my lug as I came along, I had need been +made of money--sax-pence here, sax-pence there, sax-pence every where. +Sich extortion I ne'er dreamt of." + +"How did you come from Glasgow?" + +"By the wheelboat, or steamboat, as they ca'd it, to Lunnon: where they +charged me sax-pence for taking my baggage on shore--a wee boxy nae +bigger than yon cocked-up hat. I would fain carry it mysel', but they +wadna let me." + +"Well, where did you go to when you arrived in London?" + +"I went to a place ca'd Chichester Rents, to the house of Storm and +Mainwaring, Warehousemen, and they must have another sax-pence for +showing me the way. There I waited half-an-hour in the counting-house, +till they took me to a place ca'd Bull and Mouth, and put me into a +coach, paying my whole fare: nevertheless they must din me for money the +whole of the way down. There was first the guard, and then the coachman, +and another guard, and another coachman; but I wudna listen to them, and +so they growled and abused me." + +"And when did you arrive?" + +"I came here last night; and I only had a bed and a breakfast at the twa +Blue Pillars' house, for which they extortioned me three shillings and +sax-pence, as I sit here. And then there was the chambermaid hussy and +waiter loon axed me to remember them, and wanted more siller; but I told +them as I told the guard and coachman, that I had none for them." + +"How much of your ten shillings have you left?" inquired the first +lieutenant, smiling. + +"Hoot, sir lieutenant, how came you for to ken that? Eh! it's my uncle +Monteith at Glasgow. Why, as I sit here, I've but three shillings and a +penny of it lift. But there's a smell here that's no canny; so I'll just +go up again into the fresh air." + +When Mr M'Foy quitted the gun-room they all laughed very much. After he +had been a short time on deck he went down into the midshipmen's berth; +but he made himself very unpleasant, quarrelling and wrangling with +everybody. It did not, however, last very long; for he would not obey +any orders that were given to him. On the third day, he quitted the ship +without asking the permission of the first lieutenant; when he returned +on board the following day, the first lieutenant put him under an +arrest, and in charge of the sentry at the cabin door. During the +afternoon I was under the half-deck, and perceived that he was +sharpening a long clasp-knife upon the after-truck of the gun. I went up +to him, and asked him why he was doing so, and he replied, as his eyes +flashed fire, that it was to revenge the insult offered to the bluid of +M'Foy. His look told me that he was in earnest. "But what do you mean?" +inquired I. "I mean," said he, drawing the edge and feeling the point of +his weapon, "to put it into the weam of that man with the gold podge on +his shoulder, who has dared to place me here." + +I was very much alarmed, and thought it my duty to state his murderous +intentions, or worse might happen; so I walked up on deck and told the +first lieutenant what M'Foy was intending to do, and how his life was in +danger. Mr Falcon laughed, and shortly afterwards went down on the +main-deck. M'Foy's eyes glistened, and he walked forward to where the +first lieutenant was standing; but the sentry, who had been cautioned by +me, kept him back with his bayonet. The first lieutenant turned round, +and perceiving what was going on, desired the sentry to see if Mr M'Foy +had a knife in his hand; and he had it sure enough, open, and held +behind his back. He was disarmed, and the first lieutenant, perceiving +that the lad meant mischief, reported his conduct to the captain, on his +arrival on board. The captain sent for M'Foy, who was very obstinate, +and when taxed with his intention would not deny it, or even say that he +would not again attempt it; so he was sent on shore immediately, and +returned to his friends in the Highlands. We never saw any more of him; +but I heard that he obtained a commission in the army, and three months +after he had joined his regiment, was killed in a duel, resenting some +fancied affront offered to the bluid of M'Foy. + +[Footnote 1: Peter's memory is short, p. 9.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter IX + +We post up to Portsdown Fair--Consequence of disturbing a lady at supper +--Natural affection of the pelican, proved at my expense--Spontaneous +combustion at Ranelagh Gardens--Pastry _versus_ Piety--Many are bid to +the feast; but not the halt, the lame, or the blind. + + +A few days after M'Foy quitted the ship, we all had leave from the first +lieutenant to go to Portsdown fair, but he would only allow the oldsters +to sleep on shore. We anticipated so much pleasure from our excursion, +that some of us were up early enough to go away in the boat sent for +fresh beef. This was very foolish. There were no carriages to take us to +the fair, nor indeed any fair so early in the morning; the shops were +all shut, and the Blue Posts, where we always rendezvoused, was hardly +opened. We waited there in the coffee-room, until we were driven out by +the maid sweeping away the dirt, and were forced to walk about until she +had finished, and lighted the fire, when we ordered our breakfast; but +how much better would it have been to have taken our breakfast +comfortably on board, and then to have come on shore, especially as we +had no money to spare. Next to being too late, being too soon is the +worst plan in the world. However, we had our breakfast, and paid the +bill; then we sallied forth, and went up George-street, where we found +all sorts of vehicles ready to take us to the fair. We got into one +which they called a dilly. I asked the man who drove it why it was so +called, and he replied, because he only charged a shilling. O'Brien, who +had joined us after breakfasting on board, said that this answer +reminded him of one given to him by a man who attended the hackney-coach +stands in London. "Pray," said he, "why are you called Waterman?" +"Waterman," replied the man, "vy, sir, 'cause we opens the hackney-coach +doors." At last, with plenty of whipping, and plenty of swearing, and a +great deal of laughing, the old horse, whose back curved upwards like a +bow, from the difficulty of dragging so many, arrived at the bottom of +Portsdown hill, where we got out, and walked up to the fair. It really +was a most beautiful sight. The bright blue sky, and the coloured flags +flapping about in all directions, the grass so green, and the white +tents and booths, the sun shining so bright, and the shining gilt +gingerbread, the variety of toys and the variety of noise, the quantity +of people and the quantity of sweetmeats; little boys so happy, and +shop-people so polite, the music at the booths, and the bustle and +eagerness of the people outside, made my heart quite jump. There was +Richardson, with a clown and harlequin, and such beautiful women, +dressed in clothes all over gold spangles, dancing reels and waltzes, +and looking so happy! There was Flint and Gyngell, with fellows tumbling +over head and heels, playing such tricks--eating fire, and drawing yards +of tape out of their mouths. Then there was the Royal Circus, all the +horses standing in a line, with men and women standing on their backs, +waving flags, while the trumpeters blew their trumpets. And the largest +giant in the world, and Mr Paap, the smallest dwarf in the world, and a +female dwarf, who was smaller still, and Miss Biffin, who did everything +without legs or arms. There was also the learned pig, and the +Herefordshire ox, and a hundred other sights which I cannot now +remember. We walked about for an hour or two seeing the outside of every +thing: we determined to go and see the inside. First we went into +Richardson's, where we saw a bloody tragedy, with a ghost and thunder, +and afterwards a pantomime, full of tricks, and tumbling over one +another. Then we saw one or two other things, I forget what; but this I +know, that, generally speaking, the outside was better, than the inside. +After this, feeling very hungry, we agreed to go into a booth and have +something to eat. The tables were ranged all round, and in the centre +there was a boarded platform for dancing. The ladies were there all +ready dressed for partners; and the music was so lively, that I felt +very much inclined to dance, but we had agreed to go and see the wild +beasts fed at Mr Polito's menagerie, and as it was now almost eight +o'clock, we paid our bill and set off. It was a very curious sight, and +better worth seeing than any thing in the fair; I never had an idea that +there were so many strange animals in existence. They were all secured +in iron cages, and a large chandelier with twenty lights, hung in the +centre of the booth, and lighted them up, while the keeper went round +and stirred them up with his long pole; at the same time he gave us +their histories, which were very interesting. I recollect a few of them. +There was the tapir, a great pig with a long nose, a variety of the +hiptostamass, which the keeper said was an amphibilious animal, as +couldn't live on land, and _dies_ in the water--however, it seemed to +live very well in a cage. Then there was the kangaroo with its young +ones peeping out of it--a most astonishing animal. The keeper said that +it brought forth two young ones at a birth, and then took them into its +stomach again, until they arrived at years of discretion. Then there was +the pelican of the wilderness, (I shall not forget him), with a large +bag under his throat, which the man put on his head as a night-cap: this +bird feeds its young with its own blood--when fish are scarce. And there +was the laughing hyaena, who cries in the wood like a human being in +distress, and devours those who come to his assistance--a sad instance +of the depravity of human nature, as the keeper observed. There was a +beautiful creature, the royal Bengal tiger, only three years old, what +growed ten inches every year, and never arrived at its full growth. The +one we saw, measured, as the keeper told us, sixteen feet from the snout +to the tail, and seventeen from the tail to the snout: but there must +have been some mistake there. There was a young elephant and three +lions, and several other animals which I forget now, so I shall go on to +describe the tragical scene which occurred. The keeper had poked up all +the animals, and had commenced feeding them. The great lion was growling +and snarling over the shin-bone of an ox, cracking it like a nut, when, +by some mismanagement, one end of the pole upon which the chandelier was +suspended fell down, striking the door of the cage in which the lioness +was at supper, and bursting it open. It was all done in a second; the +chandelier fell, the cage opened, and the lioness sprang out. I remember +to this moment seeing the body of the lioness in the air, and then all +was dark as pitch. What a change! not a moment before all of us staring +with delight and curiosity, and then to be left in darkness, horror, and +dismay! There was such screaming and shrieking, such crying, and +fighting, and pushing, and fainting, nobody knew where to go, or how to +find their way out. The people crowded first on one side, and then on +the other, as their fears instigated them. I was very soon jammed up +with my back against the bars of one of the cages, and feeling some +beast lay hold of me behind, made a desperate effort, and succeeded in +climbing up to the cage above, not however without losing the seat of my +trowsers, which the laughing hyaena would not let go. I hardly knew where +I was when I climbed up; but I knew the birds were mostly stationed +above. However, that I might not have the front of my trowsers torn as +well as the behind, as soon as I gained my footing I turned round, with +my back to the bars of the cage, but I had not been there a minute +before I was attacked by something which digged into me like a pickaxe, +and as the hyaena had torn my clothes, I had no defence against it. To +turn round would have been worse still; so, after having received above +a dozen stabs, I contrived by degrees to shift my position until I was +opposite to another cage, but not until the pelican, for it was that +brute, had drawn as much blood from me as would have fed his young for a +week. I was surmising what danger I should next encounter, when to my +joy I discovered that I had gained the open door from which the lioness +had escaped. I crawled in, and pulled the door to after me, thinking +myself very fortunate: and there I sat very quietly in a corner during +the remainder of the noise and confusion. I had been there but a few +minutes, when the beef-eaters, as they were called, who played the music +outside, came in with torches and loaded muskets. The sight which +presented itself was truly shocking, twenty or thirty men, women, and +children, lay on the ground, and I thought at first the lioness had +killed them all, but they were only in fits, or had been trampled down +by the crowd. No one was seriously hurt. As for the lioness, she was not +to be found: and as soon as it was ascertained that she had escaped, +there was as much terror and scampering away outside as there had been +in the menagerie. It appeared afterwards, that the animal had been as +much frightened as we had been, and had secreted herself under one of +the waggons. It was some time before she could be found. At last +O'Brien, who was a very brave fellow, went a-head of the beef-eaters, +and saw her eyes glaring. They borrowed a net or two from the carts +which had brought calves to the fair, and threw them over her. When she +was fairly entangled, they dragged her by the tail into the menagerie. +All this while I had remained very quietly in the den, but when I +perceived that its lawful owner had come back to retake possession, I +thought it was time to come out; so I called to my messmates, who, with +O'Brien were assisting the beef-eaters. They had not discovered me, and +laughed very much when they saw where I was. One of the midshipmen shot +the bolt of the door, so that I could not jump out, and then stirred me +up with a long pole. At last I contrived to unbolt it again, and got +out, when they laughed still more, at the seat of my trowsers being torn +off. It was not exactly a laughing matter to me, although I had to +congratulate myself upon a very lucky escape; and so did my messmates +think, when I narrated my adventures. The pelican was the worst part of +the business. O'Brien lent me a dark silk handkerchief, which I tied +round my waist, and let drop behind, so that my misfortunes might not +attract any notice, and then we quitted the menagerie; but I was so +stiff that I could scarcely walk. + +We then went to what they called the Ranelagh Gardens, to see the +fireworks, which were to be let off at ten o'clock. It was exactly ten +when we paid for our admission, and we waited very patiently for a +quarter of an hour, but there were no signs of the fireworks being +displayed. The fact was, that the man to whom the gardens belonged +waited until more company should arrive, although the place was already +very full of people. Now the first lieutenant had ordered the boat to +wait for us until twelve o'clock, and then return on board; and, as we +were seven miles from Portsmouth, we had not much time to spare. We +waited another quarter of an hour, and then it was agreed that as the +fireworks were stated in the handbill to commence precisely at ten +o'clock, we were fully justified in letting them off ourselves. O'Brien +went out, and returned with a dozen penny rattans, which he notched in +the end. The fireworks were on the posts and stages, all ready, and it +was agreed that we should light them all at once, and then mix with the +crowd. The oldsters lighted cigars, and fixing them in the notched end +of the canes, continued to puff them until they were all well lighted. +They handed one to each of us, and at a signal we all applied them to +the match papers, and as soon as the fire communicated we threw down our +canes and ran in among the crowd. In about half a minute, off they all +went, in a most beautiful confusion; there were silver stars and golden +stars, blue lights and Catherine-wheels, mines and bombs, Grecian-fires +and Roman-candles, Chinese-trees, rockets and illuminated mottoes, all +firing away, cracking, popping, and fizzing, at the same time. It was +unanimously agreed that it was a great improvement upon the intended +show. The man to whom the gardens belonged ran out of a booth, where he +had been drinking beer at his ease, while his company were waiting, +swearing vengeance against the perpetrators; indeed, the next day he +offered fifty pounds reward for the discovery of the offenders. But I +think that he was treated very properly. He was, in his situation, a +servant of the public, and he had behaved as if he was their master. We +all escaped very cleverly, and taking another dilly, arrived at +Portsmouth, and were down to the boat in good time. The next day I was +so stiff and in such pain, that I was obliged to go to the doctor, who +put me on the list, where I remained a week before I could return to my +duty. So much for Portsdown fair. + +It was on a Saturday that I returned to my duty, and Sunday being a fine +day, we all went on shore to church with Mr Falcon, the first +lieutenant. We liked going to church very much, not, I am sorry to say, +from religious feelings, but for the following reason:--The first +lieutenant sat in a pew below, and we were placed in the gallery above, +where he could not see us, nor indeed could we see him. We all remained +very quiet, and I may say very devout, during the time of the service; +but the clergyman who delivered the sermon was so tedious, and had such +a bad voice, that we generally slipped out as soon as he went up into +the pulpit, and adjourned to a pastry-cook's opposite, to eat cakes and +tarts and drink cherry-brandy, which we infinitely preferred to hearing +a sermon. Somehow or other, the first lieutenant had scent of our +proceedings: we believed that the marine officer informed against us, +and this Sunday he served us a pretty trick. We had been at the +pastry-cook's as usual, and as soon as we perceived the people coming +out of church, we put all our tarts and sweetmeats into our hats, which +we then slipped on our heads, and took our station at the church-door, +as if we had just come down from the gallery, and had been waiting for +him. Instead, however, of appearing at the church-door, he walked up the +street, and desired us to follow him to the boat. The fact was, he had +been in the back-room at the pastry-cook's watching our motions through +the green blinds. We had no suspicion, but thought that he had come out +of church a little sooner than usual. When we arrived on board and +followed him up the side, he said to us as we came on deck,--"Walk aft, +young gentlemen." We did; and he desired us to "toe a line," which means +to stand in a row. "Now, Mr Dixon," said he, "what was the text to-day?" +As he very often asked us that question, we always left one in the +church until the text was given out, who brought it to us in the +pastry-cook's shop, when we all marked it in our Bibles, to be ready if +he asked us. Dixon immediately pulled out his Bible where he had marked +down the leaf, and read it. "O! that was it," said Mr Falcon; "you must +have remarkably good ears, Mr Dixon, to have heard the clergyman from +the pastry-cook's shop. Now, gentlemen, hats off, if you please." We all +slided off our hats, which, as he expected, were full of pastry. +"Really, gentlemen," said he, feeling the different papers of pastry and +sweetmeats, "I am quite delighted to perceive that you have not been to +church for nothing. Few come away with so many good things pressed upon +their seat of memory. Master-at-arms, send all the ship's boys aft." + +The boys all came tumbling up the ladders, and the first lieutenant +desired each of them to take a seat upon the carronade slides. When they +were all stationed, he ordered us to go round with our hats, and request +of each his acceptance of a tart, which we were obliged to do, handing +first to one and then to another, until the hats were all empty. What +annoyed me more than all, was the grinning of the boys at their being +served by us like foot-men, as well as the ridicule and laughter of the +whole ship's company, who had assembled at the gangways. + +When all the pastry was devoured, the first lieutenant said, + +"There, gentlemen, now that you have had your lesson for the day, you +may go below." We could not help laughing ourselves, when we went down +into the berth; Mr Falcon always punished us good-humouredly, and, in +some way or other, his punishments were severally connected with the +description of the offence. He always had a remedy for every thing that +he disapproved of, and the ship's company used to call him "Remedy +Jack." I ought to observe that some of my messmates were very severe +upon the ship's boys after that circumstance, always giving them a kick +or a cuff on the head whenever they could, telling them at the same +time, "There's another tart for you, you whelp." I believe, if the boys +had known what was in reserve for them, they would much rather have left +the pastry alone. + + + + +Chapter X + +A pressgang; beaten off by one woman--Dangers at Spithead and Point--A +treat for both parties, of _pulled chicken_, at my expense--Also gin +for twenty--I am made a prisoner: escape and rejoin my ship. + + +I must now relate what occurred to me a few days before the ship sailed, +which will prove that it is not necessary to encounter the winds and +waves, or the cannon of the enemy, to be in danger, when you have +entered his Majesty's service: on the contrary, I have been in action +since, and I declare, without hesitation, that I did not feel so much +alarm on that occasion, as I did on the one of which I am about to give +the history. We were reported ready for sea, and the Admiralty was +anxious that we should proceed. The only obstacle to our sailing was, +that we had not yet completed our complement of men. The captain applied +to the port-admiral, and obtained permission to send parties on shore to +impress seamen. The second and third lieutenants, and the oldest +midshipman, were despatched on shore every night, with some of the most +trustworthy men, and generally brought on board in the morning about +half a dozen men, whom they had picked up in the different alehouses, or +grog-shops, as the sailors call them. Some of them were retained, but +most of them sent on shore as unserviceable; for it is the custom, when +a man either enters or is impressed, to send him down to the surgeon in +the cockpit, where he is stripped and examined all over, to see if he be +sound and fit for his majesty's service; and if not, he is sent on shore +again. Impressing appeared to be rather serious work, as far as I could +judge from the accounts which I heard, and from the way in which our +sailors, who were employed on the service, were occasionally beaten and +wounded; the seamen who were impressed appearing to fight as hard not to +be forced into the service, as they did for the honour of the country, +after they were fairly embarked in it. I had a great wish to be one of +the party before the ship sailed, and asked O'Brien, who was very kind +to me in general, and allowed nobody to thrash me but himself, if he +would take me with him, which he did on the night after I had made the +request. I put on my dirk, that they might know I was an officer, as +well as for my protection. About dusk we rowed on shore, and landed on +the Gosport side: the men were all armed with cutlasses, and wore pea +jackets, which are very short great-coats made of what they call +Flushing. We did not stop to look at any of the grog-shops in the town, +as it was too early, but walked out about three miles in the suburbs, +and went to a house, the door of which was locked, but we forced it open +in a minute, and hastened to enter the passage, where we found the +landlady standing to defend the entrance. The passage was long and +narrow, and she was a very tall corpulent woman, so that her body nearly +filled it up, and in her hands she held a long spit pointed at us, with +which she kept us at bay. The officers, who were the foremost, did not +like to attack a woman, and she made such drives at them with her spit, +that had they not retreated, some of them would soon have been ready for +roasting. The sailors laughed and stood outside, leaving the officers to +settle the business how they could. At last, the landlady called out to +her husband, "Be they all out, Jem?" "Yes," replied the husband, "they +be all safe gone." "Well, then," replied she, "I'll soon have all these +gone too;" and with these words she made such a rush forward upon us +with her spit, that had we not fallen back and tumbled one over another, +she certainly would have run it through the second lieutenant, who +commanded the party. The passage was cleared in an instant, and as soon +as we were all in the street she bolted us out: so there we were, three +officers and fifteen armed men, fairly beat off by a fat old woman; the +sailors who had been drinking in the house having made their escape to +some other place. But I do not well see how it could be otherwise; +either we must have killed or wounded the woman, or she would have run +us through, she was so resolute. Had her husband been in the passage, he +would have been settled in a very short time; but what can you do with a +woman who fights like a devil, and yet claims all the rights and +immunities of the softer sex? We all walked away, looking very foolish; +and O'Brien observed that the next time he called at that house he would +weather the old cat, for he would take her ladyship in the rear. + +We then called at other houses, where we picked up one or two men, but +most of them escaped, by getting out at the windows or the back doors, +as we entered the front. Now there was a grog-shop which was a very +favourite rendezvous of the seamen belonging to the merchant vessels, +and to which they were accustomed to retreat when they heard that the +pressgangs were out. Our officers were aware of this, and were therefore +indifferent as to the escape of the men, as they knew that they would +all go to that place, and confide in their numbers for beating us off. +As it was then one o'clock, they thought it time to go there; we +proceeded without any noise, but they had people on the look-out, and as +soon as we turned the corner of the lane the alarm was given. I was +afraid that they would all run away, and we should lose them; but, on +the contrary, they mustered very strong on that night, and had resolved +to "give fight." The men remained in the house, but an advanced guard of +about thirty of their wives saluted us with a shower of stones and mud. +Some of our sailors were hurt, but they did not appear to mind what the +women did. They rushed on, and then they were attacked by the women with +their fists and nails. Notwithstanding this, the sailors only laughed, +pushing the women on one side, and saying, "Be quiet, Poll;"--"Don't be +foolish, Molly;"--"Out of the way, Sukey; we a'n't come to take away +your fancy man;" with expressions of that sort, although the blood +trickled down many of their faces, from the way in which they had been +clawed. Thus we attempted to force our way through them, but I had a +very narrow escape even in this instance. A woman seized me by the arm, +and pulled me towards her; had it not been for one of the +quarter-masters I should have been separated from my party; but, just as +they dragged me away, she caught hold of me by the leg, and stopped +them. "Clap on here, Peg," cried the woman to another, "and let's have +this little midshipmite; I wants a baby to dry nurse." Two more women +came to her assistance, catching hold of my other arm, and they would +have dragged me out of the grasp of the quarter-master, had he not +called out for more help on his side, upon which two of the seamen laid +hold of my other leg, and there was such a tussle (all at my expense), +such pulling and hauling; sometimes the women gained an inch or two of +me, then the sailors got it back again. At one moment I thought it was +all over with me, and in the next I was with my own men. "Pull devil; +pull baker!" cried the women, and then they laughed, although I did not, +I can assure you, for I really think that I was pulled out an inch +taller, and my knees and shoulders pained me very much indeed. At last +the women laughed so much that they could not hold on, so I was dragged +into the middle of our own sailors, where I took care to remain; and, +after a little more squeezing and fighting, was carried by the crowd +into the house. The seamen of the merchant ships had armed themselves +with bludgeons and other weapons, and had taken a position on the +tables. They were more than two to one against us, and there was a +dreadful fight, as their resistance was very desperate. Our sailors were +obliged to use their cutlasses, and for a few minutes I was quite +bewildered with the shouting and swearing, pushing and scuffling, +collaring and fighting, together with the dust raised up, which not only +blinded, but nearly choked me. By the time that my breath was nearly +squeezed out of my body, our sailors got the best of it, which the +landlady and women of the house perceiving, they put out all the lights, +so that I could not tell where I was; but our sailors had every one +seized his man, and contrived to haul him out of the street door, where +they were collected together, and secured. + +Now again I was in great difficulty; I had been knocked down and trod +upon, and when I did contrive to get up again, I did not know the +direction in which the door lay. I felt about by the wall, and at last +came to a door, for the room was at that time nearly empty, the women +having followed the men out of the house. I opened it, and found that it +was not the right one, but led into a little side parlour, where there +was a fire, but no lights. I had just discovered my mistake, and was +about to retreat, when I was shoved in from behind, and the key turned +upon me: there I was all alone, and, I must acknowledge, very much +frightened, as I thought that the vengeance of the women would be +wreaked upon me. I considered that my death was certain, and that, like +the man Orpheus I had read of in my books, I should be torn to pieces by +these Bacchanals. However, I reflected that I was an officer in his +Majesty's service, and that it was my duty, if necessary, to sacrifice +my life for my king and country. I thought of my poor mother; but as it +made me unhappy, I tried to forget her, and call to my memory all I had +read of the fortitude and courage of various brave men, when death +stared them in the face. I peeped through the key-hole, and perceived +that the candles were re-lighted, and that there were only women in the +room, who were talking all at once, and not thinking about me. But in a +minute or two, a woman came in from the street, with her long black hair +hanging about her shoulders, and her cap in her hand. "Well," cried she, +"they've nabbed my husband; but I'll be dished if I hav'n't boxed up the +midshipmite in that parlour, and he shall take his place." I thought I +should have died when I looked at the woman, and perceived her coming up +to the door, followed by some others, to unlock it. As the door opened, +I drew my dirk, resolving to die like an officer, and as they advanced I +retreated to a corner, brandishing my dirk, without saying a word. +"Vell," cried the woman who had made me a prisoner, "I do declare I +likes to see a puddle in a storm--only look at the little +biscuit-nibbler showing fight! Come, my lovey, you belongs to me." + +"Never!" exclaimed I with indignation. "Keep off, I shall do you +mischief" (and I raised my dirk in advance); "I am an officer and a +gentleman." + +"Sall," cried the odious woman, "fetch a mop and a pail of dirty water, +and I'll trundle that dirk out of his fist." + +"No, no," replied another rather good-looking young woman, "leave him to +me--don't hurt him--he really is a very nice little man. What's your +name, my dear?" + +"Peter Simple is my name," replied I; "and I am a king's officer, so be +careful what you are about." + +"Don't be afraid, Peter, nobody shall hurt you; but you must not draw +your dirk before ladies, that's not like an officer and a gentleman--so +put up your dirk, that's a good boy." + +"I will not," replied I, "unless you promise me that I shall go away +unmolested." + +"I do promise you that you shall, upon my word, Peter--upon my honour-- +will that content you?" + +"Yes," replied I, "if every one else will promise the same." + +"Upon our honours," they all cried together; upon which I was satisfied, +and putting my dirk into its sheath, was about to quit the room. + +"Stop, Peter," said the young woman who had taken my part; "I must have +a kiss before you go." "And so must I; and so must we all," cried the +other women. + +I was very much shocked, and attempted to draw my dirk again, but they +had closed in with me, and prevented me. "Recollect your honour," cried +I to the young woman, as I struggled. + +"My honour!--Lord bless you, Peter, the less we say about that the +better." + +"But you promised that I should go away quietly," said I, appealing to +them. + +"Well, and so you shall; but recollect, Peter, that you are an officer +and a gentleman--you surely would not be so shabby as to go away without +treating us. What money have you got in your pocket?" and, without +giving me time to answer, she felt in my pocket, and pulled out my +purse, which she opened. "Why, Peter, you are as rich as a Jew," said +she, as they counted thirty shillings on the table. "Now, what shall we +have?" + +"Anything you please," said I, "provided that you will let me go." + +"Well, then, it shall be a gallon of gin. Sall, call Mrs Flanagan. Mrs +Flanagan, we want a gallon of gin, and clean glasses." + +Mrs Flanagan received the major part of my money, and in a minute +returned with the gin and wine-glasses. + +"Now, Peter, my cove, let's all draw round the table, and make ourselves +cosy." + +"O no," replied I, "take my money, drink the gin, but pray let me go;" +but they wouldn't listen to me. Then I was obliged to sit down with +them, the gin was poured out, and they made me drink a glass, which +nearly choked me. It had, however, one good effect, it gave me courage, +and in a minute or two, I felt as if I could fight them all. The door of +the room was on the same side as the fire-place, and I perceived that +the poker was between the bars, and red hot. I complained that I was +cold, although I was in a burning fever; and they allowed me to get up +to warm my hands. As soon as I reached the fire-place, I snatched out +the red-hot poker, and, brandishing it over my head, made for the door. +They all jumped up to detain me, but I made a poke at the foremost, +which made her run back with a shriek, (I do believe that I burnt her +nose.) I seized my opportunity, and escaped into the street, whirling +the poker round my head, while all the women followed, hooting and +shouting after me. I never stopped running and whirling my poker until I +was reeking with perspiration, and the poker was quite cold. Then I +looked back, and found that I was alone. It was very dark; every house +was shut up, and not a light to be seen anywhere. I stopped at the +corner, not knowing where I was, or what I was to do. I felt very +miserable indeed, and was reflecting on my wisest plan, when who should +turn the corner, but one of the quarter-masters who had been left on +shore by accident. I knew him by his pea-jacket and straw hat to be one +of our men, and I was delighted to see him. I told him what had +happened, and he replied that he was going to a house where the people +knew him and would let him in. When we arrived there, the people of the +house were very civil; the landlady made us some purl, which the +quarter-master ordered, and which I thought very good indeed. After we +had finished the jug, we both fell asleep in our chairs. I did not +awaken until I was roused by the quarter-master, at past seven o'clock, +when we took a wherry, and went off to the ship. + + + + +Chapter XI + +O'Brien takes me under his protection--The ship's company are paid, so +are the bumboat-women, the Jews, and the emancipationist after a +fashion--We go to sea--_Doctor_ O'Brien's cure for sea-sickness--One +pill of the doctor's more than a dose. + + +When we arrived, I reported myself to the first lieutenant, and told him +the whole story of the manner in which I had been treated, showing him +the poker, which I brought on board with me. He heard me very patiently, +and then said, "Well, Mr Simple, you may be the greatest fool of your +family for all I know to the contrary, but never pretend to be a fool +with me. That poker proves the contrary: and if your wit can serve you +upon your own emergency, I expect that it will be employed for the +benefit of the service." He then sent for O'Brien, and gave him a +lecture for allowing me to go with the pressgang, pointing out, what was +very true, that I could have been of no service, and might have met with +a serious accident. I went down on the main deck, and O'Brien came to +me. "Peter," said he, "I have been jawed for letting you go, so it is +but fair that you should be thrashed for having asked me." I wished to +argue the point, but he cut all argument short, by kicking me down the +hatchway; and thus ended my zealous attempt to procure seamen for his +majesty's service. + +At last the frigate was full manned; and, as we had received drafts of +men from other ships, we were ordered to be paid previously to our going +to sea. The people on shore always find out when a ship is to be paid, +and very early in the morning we were surrounded with wherries, laden +with Jews and other people, some requesting admittance to sell their +goods, others to get paid for what they had allowed the sailors to take +up upon credit. But the first lieutenant would not allow any of them to +come on board until after the ship was paid; although they were so +urgent that he was forced to place sentries in the chains with cold +shot, to stave the boats if they came alongside. I was standing at the +gangway, looking at the crowd of boats, when a black-looking fellow in +one of the wherries said to me, "I say, sir, let me slip in at the port, +and I have a very nice present to make you;" and he displayed a gold +seal, which he held up to me. I immediately ordered the sentry to keep +him further off, for I was very much affronted at his supposing me +capable of being bribed to disobey my orders. About eleven o'clock the +dockyard boat, with all the pay-clerks, and the cashier, with his chest +of money, came on board, and was shown into the fore-cabin, where the +captain attended the pay-table. The men were called in, one by one, and, +as the amount of the wages due had been previously calculated, they were +paid; very fast. The money was always received in their hats, after it +had been counted out in the presence of the officers and captain. +Outside the cabin door there stood a tall man in black, with hair +straight combed, who had obtained an order from the Port Admiral to be +permitted to come on board. He attacked every sailor as he came out; +with his money in his hat, for a subscription to emancipate the slaves +in the West Indies; but the sailors would not give him anything, +swearing that the niggers were better off than they were; for they did +not work harder by day, and had no watch and watch to keep during the +night. "Sarvitude is sarvitude all over the world, my old psalmsinger," +replied one. "They sarve their masters, as in duty bound; we sarve the +king, 'cause he can't do without us--and he never axes our leave, but +helps himself." + +"Yes," replied the straight-haired gentleman; "but slavery is a very +different thing." + +"Can't say that I see any difference; do you, Bill?" + +"Not I: and I suppose as if they didn't like it they'd run away." + +"Run away! poor creatures," said the black gentleman. "Why, if they did, +they would be flogged." + +"Flogged--heh; well, and if we run away we are to be hanged. The +nigger's better off nor we: ar'n't he, Tom?" Then the purser's steward +came out: he was what they call a bit of a lawyer,--that is, had +received more education than the seamen in general. + +"I trust, sir," said the man in black, "that you will contribute +something." + +"Not I, my hearty: I owe every farthing of my money, and more too, I'm +afraid." + +"Still, sir, a small trifle." + +"Why, what an infernal rascal you must be, to ask a man to give away +what is not his own property! Did I not tell you that I owed it all? +There's an old proverb--be just before you're generous. Now, it's my +opinion that, you are a methodistical, good-for-nothing blackguard; and +if any one is such a fool as to give you money, you will keep it for +yourself." + +When the man found that he could obtain nothing at the door, he went +down on the lower deck, in which he did not act very wisely; for now +that the men were paid, the boats were permitted to come alongside, and +so much spirits were smuggled in, that most of the seamen were more or +less intoxicated. As soon as he went below, he commenced distributing +prints of a black man kneeling in chains, and saying, "Am not I your +brother?" Some of the men laughed, and swore that they would paste their +brother up in the mess, to say prayers for the ship's company; but +others were very angry, and abused him. At last, one man, who was tipsy, +came up to him. "Do you pretend for to insinivate that this crying black +thief is my brother?" + +"To be sure I do," replied the methodist. + +"Then take that for your infernal lie," said the sailor, hitting him in +the face right and left, and knocking the man down into the cable tier, +from whence he climbed up, and made his escape out of the frigate as +soon as he was able. + +The ship was now in a state of confusion and uproar; there were Jews +trying to sell clothes, or to obtain money for clothes which they had +sold; bumboat-men and bumboat-women showing their long bills, and +demanding or coaxing for payment; other people from the shore, with +hundreds of small debts; and the sailors' wives, sticking close to them, +and disputing every bill presented, as an extortion or a robbery. There +was such bawling and threatening, laughing and crying--for the women +were all to quit the ship before sunset--at one moment a Jew was upset, +and all his hamper of clothes tossed into the hold; at another, a sailor +was seen hunting everywhere for a Jew who had cheated him,--all +squabbling or skylarking, and many of them very drunk. It appeared to me +that the sailors had rather a difficult point to settle. They had three +claimants upon them, the Jew for clothes, the bumboat-men for their mess +in harbour, and their wives for their support during their absence; and +the money which they received was, generally speaking, not more than +sufficient to meet one of the demands. As it may be supposed, the women +had the best of it; the others were paid a trifle, and promised the +remainder when they came back from their cruise; and although, as the +case stood then, it might appear that two of the parties were ill-used, +yet in the long run they were more than indemnified, for their charges +were so extravagant, that if one-third of their bills were paid, there +would still remain a profit. About five o'clock the orders were given +for the ship to be cleared. All disputed points were settled by the +sergeant of marines with a party, who divided their antagonists from the +Jews; and every description of persons not belonging to the ship, +whether male or female, was dismissed over the side. The hammocks were +piped down, those who were intoxicated were put to bed, and the ship was +once more quiet. Nobody was punished for having been tipsy, as pay-day +is considered, on board a man-of-war, as the winding-up of all incorrect +behaviour, and from that day the sailors turn over a new leaf; for, +although some latitude is permitted, and the seamen are seldom flogged +in harbour, yet the moment that the anchor is at the bows, strict +discipline is exacted, and intoxication must no longer hope to be +forgiven. + +The next day everything was prepared for sea, and no leave was permitted +to the officers. Stock of every kind was brought on board, and the large +boats hoisted and secured. On the morning after, at daylight, a signal +from the flag-ship in harbour was made for us to unmoor; our orders had +come down to cruise in the Bay of Biscay. The captain came on board, the +anchor weighed, and we ran through the Needles with a fine N.E. breeze. +I admired the scenery of the Isle of Wight, looked with admiration at +Alum Bay, was astonished at the Needle rocks, and then felt so very ill +that I went down below. What occurred for the next six days I cannot +tell. I thought that I should die every moment, and lay in my hammock or +on the chests for the whole of that time, incapable of eating, drinking, +or walking about. O'Brien came to me on the seventh morning, and said, +that if I did not exert myself I never should get well; that he was very +fond of me and had taken me under his protection, and, to prove his +regard, he would do for me what he would not take the trouble to do for +any other youngster in the ship, which was, to give me a good basting, +which was a sovereign remedy for sea-sickness. He suited the action to +the word, and drubbed me on the ribs without mercy, until I thought the +breath was out of my body, and then he took out a rope's end and +thrashed me until I obeyed his orders to go on deck immediately. Before +he came to me, I could never have believed it possible that I could have +obeyed him; but somehow or other I did contrive to crawl up the ladder +to the main-deck, where I sat down on the shot-racks and cried bitterly. +What would I have given to have been at home again! It was not my fault +that I was the greatest fool in the family, yet how was I punished for +it! If this was kindness from O'Brien, what had I to expect from those +who were not partial to me? But, by degrees, I recovered myself, and +certainly felt a great deal better, and that night I slept very soundly. +The next morning O'Brien came to me again. "It's a nasty slow fever, +that sea-sickness, my Peter, and we must drive it out of you;" and then +he commenced a repetition of yesterday's remedy until I was almost a +jelly. Whether the fear of being thrashed drove away my sea-sickness, or +whatever might be the real cause of it, I do not know, but this is +certain, that I felt no more of it after the second beating, and the +next morning when I awoke I was very hungry. I hastened to dress myself +before O'Brien came to me, and did not see him until we met at +breakfast. + +"Pater," said he, "let me feel your pulse." + +"Oh no!" replied I, "indeed I'm quite well." + +"Quite well! Can you eat biscuit and salt butter?" + +"Yes, I can." + +"And a piece of fat pork?" + +"Yes, that I can." + +"It's thanks to me then, Pater," replied he; "so you'll have no more of +my medicine until you fall sick again." + +"I hope not," replied I, "for it was not very pleasant." + +"Pleasant! you simple Simple, when did you ever hear of physic being +pleasant, unless a man prescribe for himself? I suppose you'd be after +lollipops for the yellow fever. Live and larn, boy, and thank Heaven +that you've found somebody who loves you well enough to baste you when +it's good for your health." + +I replied, "that I certainly hoped that much as I felt obliged to him, I +should not require any more proofs of his regard." + +"Any more such _striking_ proofs, you mean, Pater; but let me tell you +that they were sincere proofs, for since you've been ill I've been +eating your pork and drinking your grog, which latter can't be too +plentiful in the Bay of Biscay. And now that I've cured you, you'll be +tucking all that into your own little breadbasket, so that I'm no +gainer, and I think that you may be convinced that you never had or will +have two more disinterested thumpings in all your born days. However, +you're very welcome, so say no more about it." + +I held my tongue and ate a very hearty breakfast. From that day I +returned to my duty, and was put into the same watch with O'Brien, who +spoke to the first lieutenant, and told him that he had taken me under +his charge. + + + + +Chapter XII + +New theory of Mr Muddle remarkable for having no end to it--Novel +practice of Mr Chucks--O'Brien commences his history--There were giants +in those days--I bring up the master's _night-glass_. + + +As I have already mentioned sufficient of the captain and the first +lieutenant to enable the reader to gain an insight into their +characters, I shall now mention two very odd personages who were my +shipmates, the carpenter and the boatswain. The carpenter, whose name +was Muddle, used to go by the appellation of Philosopher Chips, not that +he followed any particular school, but had formed a theory of his own, +from which he was not to be dissuaded. This was, that the universe had +its cycle of events turned round, so that in a certain period of time +everything was to happen over again. I never could make him explain upon +what data his calculations were founded; he said, that if he explained +it, I was too young to comprehend it; but the fact was this, "that in +27,672 years everything that was going on now would be going on again, +with the same people as were existing at this present time." He very +seldom ventured to make the remark to Captain Savage, but to the first +lieutenant he did very often. "I've been as close to it as possible, +sir, I do assure you, although you find fault; but 27,672 years ago you +were first lieutenant of this ship, and I was carpenter, although we +recollect nothing about it; and 27,672 years hence we shall both be +standing by this boat, talking about the repairs, as we are now." + +"I do not doubt it, Mr Muddle," replied the first lieutenant; "I dare +say that it is all very true, but the repairs must be finished this +night, and 27,672 years hence you will have the order just as positive +as you have it now, so let it be done." + +This theory made him very indifferent as to danger, or indeed as to +anything. It was of no consequence, the affair took its station in the +course of time. It had happened at the above period, and would happen +again. Fate was fate. But the boatswain was a more amusing personage. He +was considered to be the _taughtest_ (that is, the most active and +severe) boatswain in the service. He went by the name of "Gentleman +Chucks"--the latter was his surname. He appeared to have received half +an education; sometimes his language was for a few sentences remarkably +well chosen, but, all of a sudden, he would break down at a hard word; +but I shall be able to let the reader into more of his history as I go +on with my adventures. He had a very handsome person, inclined to be +stout, keen eyes, and hair curling in ringlets. He held his head up, and +strutted as he walked. He declared "that an officer should look like an +officer, and _comport_ himself accordingly." In his person he was very +clean, wore rings on his great fingers, and a large frill to his bosom, +which stuck out like the back fin of a perch, and the collar of his +shirt was always pulled up to a level with his cheek-bones. He never +appeared on deck without his "persuader," which was three rattans +twisted into one, like a cable; sometimes he called it his Order of the +Bath, or his Tri_o_ junct_o_ in Uno; and this persuader was seldom idle. +He attempted to be very polite, even when addressing the common seamen, +and, certainly, he always commenced his observations to them in a very +gracious manner, but, as he continued, he became less choice in his +phraseology. O'Brien said that his speeches were like the Sin of the +poet, very fair at the upper part of them, but shocking at the lower +extremities. As a specimen of them, he would say to the man on the +forecastle, "Allow me to observe, my dear man, in the most delicate way +in the world, that you are spilling that tar upon the deck--a deck, sir, +if I may venture to make the observation, I had the duty of seeing +holystoned this morning. You understand me, sir, you have defiled his +majesty's forecastle. I must do my duty, sir, if you neglect yours; so +take that--and that--and that--(thrashing the man with his rattan)--you +d--d hay-making son of a sea-cook. Do it again, d--n your eyes, and I'll +cut your liver out." + +I remember one of the ship's boys going forward with a kid of dirty +water to empty in the head, without putting his hand up to his hat as he +passed the boatswain. "Stop, my little friend," said the boatswain, +pulling out his frill, and raising up both sides of his shirt-collar. +"Are you aware, sir, of my rank and station in society?" + +"Yes, sir," replied the boy, trembling, and eyeing the rattan. + +"Oh, you are!" replied Mr Chucks. "Had you not been aware of it, I +should have considered a gentle correction necessary, that you might +have avoided such an error in future; but, as you _were_ aware of it, +why then, d--n you, you have no excuse, so take that--and that--you +yelping, half-starved abortion. I really beg your pardon, Mr Simple," +said he to me, as the boy went howling forward, for I was walking with +him at the time; "but really the service makes brutes of us all. It is +hard to sacrifice our health, our night's rest, and our comforts; but +still more so, that in my responsible situation, I am obliged too often +to sacrifice my gentility." + +The master was the officer who had charge of the watch to which I was +stationed; he was a very rough sailor, who had been brought up in the +merchant service, not much of a gentleman in his appearance, very +good-tempered, and very fond of grog. He always quarrelled with the +boatswain, and declared that the service was going to the devil, now +that warrant officers put on white shirts, and wore frills to them. But +the boatswain did not care for him; he knew his duty, he did his duty, +and if the captain was satisfied, he said, that the whole ship's company +might grumble. As for the master, he said, the man was very well, but +having been brought up in a collier, he could not be expected to be very +refined; in fact, he observed, pulling up his shirt-collar--"it was +impossible to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." The master was very +kind to me, and used to send me down to my hammock before my watch was +half over. Until that time, I walked the deck with O'Brien, who was a +very pleasant companion, and taught me everything that he could, +connected with my profession. One night, when he had the middle watch, I +told him I should like very much if he would give me the history of his +life. "That I will, my honey," replied he, "all that I can remember of +it, though I have no doubt but that I've forgotten the best part of it. +It's now within five minutes of two bells, so we'll heave the log and +mark the board, and then I'll spin you a yarn, which will keep us both +from going to sleep." O'Brien reported the rate of sailing to the +master, marked it down on the log-board, and then returned. + +"So now, my boy, I'll come to an anchor on the topsail halyard rack, and +you may squeeze your thread-paper little carcass under my lee, and then +I'll tell you all about it. First and foremost, you must know that I am +descended from the great O'Brien Borru, who was king in his time, as the +great Fingal was before him. Of course you've heard of Fingal?" + +"I can't say that I ever did," replied I. + +"Never heard of Fingal!--murder! Where must you have been all your life? +Well, then, to give you some notion of Fingal, I will first tell you how +Fingal bothered the great Scotch giant, and then I'll go on with my own +story. Fingal, you must know, was a giant himself, and no fool of one, +and any one that affronted him was as sure of a bating, as I am to keep +the middle watch to-night. But there was a giant in Scotland as tall as +the mainmast, more or less, as we say when we a'n't quite sure, as it +saves telling more lies than there's occasion for. Well, this Scotch +giant heard of Fingal, and how he had beaten everybody, and he said, +'Who is this Fingal? By Jasus,' says he in Scotch, 'I'll just walk over +and see what he's made of.' So he walked across the Irish Channel, and +landed within half-a-mile of Belfast, but whether he was out of his +depth or not I can't tell, although I suspect that he was not +dry-footed. When Fingal heard that this great chap was coming over, he +was in a devil of a fright, for they told him that the Scotchman was +taller by a few feet or so. Giants, you know, measure by feet, and don't +bother themselves about the inches, as we little devils are obliged to +do. So Fingal kept a sharp look-out for the Scotchman, and one fine +morning, there he was, sure enough, coming up the hill to Fingal's +house. If Fingal was afraid before, he had more reason to be afraid when +he saw the fellow, for he looked for all the world like the Monument +upon a voyage of discovery. So Fingal ran into his house, and called to +his wife Shaya, 'My vourneen,' says he, 'be quick now; there's that big +bully of a Scotchman coming up the hill. Kiver me up with the blankets, +and if he asks who is in bed, tell him it's the child.' So Fingal laid +down on the bed, and his wife had just time to cover him up, when in +comes the Scotchman, and though he stooped low, he broke his head +against the portal. 'Where's that baste Fingal?' says he, rubbing his +forehead; 'show him to me, that I may give him a bating.' 'Whisht, +whisht!' cries Shaya, 'you'll wake the babby, and then him that you talk +of bating will be the death of you, if he comes in.' 'Is that the +babby?' cried the Scotchman with surprise, looking at the great carcass +muffled up in the blankets. 'Sure it is,' replied Shaya, 'and Fingal's +babby too; so don't you wake him, or Fingal will twist your neck in a +minute.' 'By the cross of St Andrew,' replied the giant, 'then it's time +for me to be off; for if that's his babby, I'll be but a mouthful to the +fellow himself. Good morning to ye.' So the Scotch giant ran out of the +house, and never stopped to eat or drink until he got back to his own +hills, foreby he was nearly drowned in having mistaken his passage +across the Channel in his great hurry. Then Fingal got up and laughed, +as well he might, at his own 'cuteness; and so ends my story about +Fingal. And now I'll begin about myself. As I said before, I am +descended from the great O'Brien, who was a king in his time, but that +time's past. I suppose, as the world turns round, my children's +children's posterity may be kings again, although there seems but little +chance of it just now; but there's ups and downs on a grand scale, as +well as in a man's own history, and the wheel of fortune keeps turning +for the comfort of those who are at the lowest spoke, as I may be just +now. To cut the story a little shorter, I skip down to my +great-grandfather, who lived like a real gentleman, as he was, upon his +ten thousand a year. At last he died, and eight thousand of the ten was +buried with him. My grandfather followed his father all in good course +of time, and only left my father about one hundred acres of bog, to keep +up the dignity of the family. I am the youngest of ten, and devil a +copper have I but my pay, or am I likely to have. You may talk about +_descent_, but a more _descending_ family than mine was never in +existence, for here am I with twenty-five pounds a-year, and a half-pay +of 'nothing a day, and find myself,' when my great ancestor did just +what he pleased with all Ireland, and everybody in it. But this is all +nothing, except to prove satisfactorily that I am not worth a +skillagalee, and that is the reason which induces me to condescend to +serve his Majesty. Father M'Grath, the priest, who lived with my father, +taught me the elements, as they call them. I thought I had enough of the +elements then, but I've seen a deal more of them since. 'Terence,' says +my father to me one day, 'what do you mane to do?' 'To get my dinner, +sure,' replied I, for I was not a little hungry. 'And so you shall +to-day, my vourneen,' replied my father, 'but in future you must do +something to get your own dinner: there's not praties enow for the whole +of ye. Will you go to the _say_?' 'I'll just step down and look at it,' +says I, for we lived but sixteen Irish miles from the coast; so when I +had finished my meal, which did not take long, for want of ammunition, I +trotted down to the Cove to see what a ship might be like, and I +happened upon a large one sure enough, for there lay a three-decker with +an admiral's flag at the fore. 'May be you'll be so civil as to tell me +what ship that is,' said I to a sailor on the pier. 'It's the Queen +Charlotte,' replied he, 'of one hundred and twenty guns.' Now when I +looked at her size, and compared her with all the little smacks and hoys +lying about her, I very naturally asked how old she was; he replied, +that she was no more than three years old. 'But three years old!' +thought I to myself, 'it's a fine vessel you'll be when you'll come of +age, if you grow at that rate: you'll be as tall as the top of +Bencrow,'(that's a mountain we have in our parts). You see, Peter, I was +a fool at that time, just as you are now; but by-and-by, when you've had +as many thrashings as I have had, you may chance to be as clever. I went +back to my father, and told him all I had seen, and he replied, that if +I liked it I might be a midshipman on board of her, with nine hundred +men under my command. He forgot to say how many I should have over me, +but I found that out afterwards. I agreed, and my father ordered his +pony and went to the lord-lieutenant, for he had interest enough for +that. The lord-lieutenant spoke to the admiral, who was staying at the +palace, and I was ordered on board as midshipman. My father fitted me +out pretty handsomely, telling all the tradesmen that their bills should +be paid with my first prize-money, and thus, by promises and blarney, he +got credit for all I wanted. At last all was ready: Father M'Grath gave +me his blessing, and told me that if I died like an O'Brien, he would +say a power of masses for the good of my soul. 'May you never have the +trouble, sir,' said I. 'Och, trouble! a pleasure, my dear boy,' replied +he, for he was a very polite man; so off I went with my big chest, not +quite so full as it ought to have been, for my mother cribbed one half +of my stock for my brothers and sisters. 'I hope to be back again soon, +father,' said I as I took my leave. 'I hope not, my dear boy,' replied +he: 'a'n't you provided for, and what more would you have?' So, after a +deal of bother, I was fairly on board, and I parted company with my +chest, for I stayed on deck, and that went down below. I stared about +with all my eyes for some time, when who should be coming off but the +captain, and the officers were ordered on deck to receive him. I wanted +to have a quiet survey of him, so I took up my station on one of the +guns, that I might examine him at my leisure. The boatswain whistled, +the marines presented arms, and the officers all took off their hats as +the captain came on the deck, and then the guard was dismissed, and they +all walked about the deck as before; but I found it very pleasant to be +astride on the gun, so I remained where I was. 'What do you mane by +that, you big young scoundrel?' says he, when he saw me. 'It's nothing +at all I mane,' replied I; 'but what do you mane by calling an O'Brien a +scoundrel?' 'Who is he?' said the captain to the first lieutenant. 'Mr +O'Brien, who joined the ship about an hour since.' 'Don't you know +better than to sit upon a gun?' said the captain. 'To be sure I do,' +replied I, 'when there's anything better to sit upon.' 'He knows no +better, sir,' observed the first lieutenant. 'Then he must be taught,' +replied the captain. 'Mr O'Brien, since you have perched yourself on +that gun to please yourself, you will now continue there for two hours +to please me. Do you understand, sir?--you'll ride on that gun for two +hours.' 'I understand, sir,' replied I; 'but I am afraid that he won't +move without spurs, although there's plenty of _metal_ in him.' The +captain turned away and laughed as he went into his cabin, and all the +officers laughed, and I laughed too, for I perceived no great hardship +in sitting down an hour or two, any more than I do now. Well, I soon +found that, like a young bear, all my troubles were to come. The first +month was nothing but fighting and squabbling with my messmates; they +called me a _raw_ Irishman, and _raw_ I was, sure enough, from the +constant thrashings and coltings I received from those who were bigger +and stronger than myself; but nothing lasts for ever--as they discovered +that whenever they found blows I could find back, they got tired of it, +and left me and my brogue alone. We sailed for the Toolong fleet." + +"What fleet?" inquired I. + +"Why, the Toolong fleet, so called, I thought, because they remained too +long in harbour, bad luck to them; and then we were off Cape See-see +(devil a bit could we see of them except their mast-heads) for I don't +know how many months. But I forgot to say that I got into another scrape +just before we left harbour. It was my watch when they piped to dinner, +and I took the liberty to run below, as my messmates had a knack of +forgetting absent friends. Well, the captain came on board, and there +were no side boys, no side ropes, and no officers to receive him. He +came on deck foaming with rage, for his dignity was hurt, and he +inquired who was the midshipman of the watch. 'Mr O'Brien,' said they +all. 'Devil a bit,' replied I, 'it was my forenoon watch.' 'Who relieved +you, sir?' said the first lieutenant. 'Devil a soul, sir,' replied I; +'for they were all too busy with their pork and beef.' 'Then why did you +leave the deck without relief?' 'Because, sir, my stomach would have had +but little relief if I had remained.' The captain, who stood by, said, +'Do you see those cross-trees, sir?' 'Is it those little bits of wood +that you mane, on the top there, captain?' 'Yes, sir; now just go up +there, and stay until I call you down. You must be brought to your +senses, young man, or you'll have but little prospect in the service.' +'I've an idea that I'll have plenty of prospect when I get up there,' +replied I, 'but it's all to please you.' So up I went, as I have many a +time since, and as you often will, Peter, just to enjoy the fresh air +and your own pleasant thoughts, all at one and the same time. + +"At last I became much more used to the manners and customs of +_say_-going people, and by the time that I had been fourteen months off +Cape See-see, I was considered a very genteel young midshipman, and my +messmates (that is, all that I could thrash, which didn't leave out +many) had a very great respect for me. + +"The first time that I put my foot on shore was at Minorca, and then I +put my foot into it (as we say), for I was nearly killed for a heretic, +and only saved by proving myself a true Catholic, which proves that +religion is a great comfort in distress, as Father M'Grath used to say. +Several of us went on shore, and having dined upon a roast turkey, +stuffed with plum-pudding (for everything else was cooked in oil, and we +could not eat it), and having drunk as much wine as would float a +jolly-boat, we ordered donkeys, to take a little equestrian exercise. +Some went off tail on end, some with their hind-quarters uppermost, and +then the riders went off instead of the donkeys; some wouldn't go off at +all; as for mine he would go--and where the devil do you think he went? +Why, into the church where all the people were at mass; the poor brute +was dying with thirst, and smelt water. As soon as he was in, +notwithstanding all my tugging and hauling, he ran his nose into the +holy-water font, and drank it all up. Although I thought, that seeing +how few Christians have any religion, you could not expect much from a +donkey, yet I was very much shocked at the sacrilege, and fearful of the +consequences. Nor was it without reason, for the people in the church +were quite horrified, as well they might be, for the brute drank as much +holy-water as would have purified the whole town of Port Mahon, suburbs +and all to boot. They rose up from their knees and seized me, calling +upon all the saints in the calendar. Although I knew what they meant, +not a word of their lingo could I speak, to plead for my life, and I was +almost torn to pieces before the priest came up. Perceiving the danger I +was in, I wiped my finger across the wet nose of the donkey, crossed +myself, and then went down on my knees to the priests, crying out _Culpa +mea_, as all good Catholics do--though 'twas no fault of mine, as I said +before, for I tried all I could, and tugged at the brute till my +strength was gone. The priests perceived by the manner in which I +crossed myself that I was a good Catholic, and guessed that it was all a +mistake of the donkey's. They ordered the crowd to be quiet, and sent +for an interpreter, when I explained the whole story. They gave me +absolution for what the donkey had done, and after that, as it was very +rare to meet an English officer who was a good Christian, I was in great +favour during my stay at Minorca, and was living in plenty, paying for +nothing, and as happy as a cricket. So the jackass proved a very good +friend, and, to reward him, I hired him every day, and galloped him all +over the island. But, at last, it occurred to me that I had broken my +leave, for I was so happy on shore that I quite forgot that I had only +permission for twenty-four hours, and I should not have remembered it so +soon, had it not been for a party of marines, headed by a sergeant, who +took me by the collar, and dragged me off my donkey. I was taken on +board, and put under an arrest for my misconduct. Now, Peter, I don't +know anything more agreeable than being put under an arrest. Nothing to +do all day but eat and drink, and please yourself, only forbid to appear +on the quarter-deck, the only place that a midshipman wishes to avoid. +Whether it was to punish me more severely, or whether he forgot all +about me, I can't tell, but it was nearly two months before I was sent +for to the cabin; and the captain, with a most terrible frown, said, +that he trusted that my punishment would be a warning to me, and that +now I might return to my duty. 'Plase your honour,' said I, 'I don't +think that I've been punished enough yet.' 'I am glad to find that you +are so penitent, but you are forgiven, so take care that you do not +oblige me to put you again in confinement.' So, as there was no +persuading him, I was obliged to return to my duty again; but I made a +resolution that I would get into another scrape again as soon as I +dared--" + +"Sail on the starboard bow!" cried the look-out man. + +"Very well," replied the master; "Mr O'Brien--where's Mr O'Brien?" + +"Is it me you mane, sir?" said O'Brien, walking up to the master, for he +had sat down so long in the topsail-halyard rack, that he was wedged in +and could not get out immediately. + +"Yes, sir; go forward, and see what that vessel is." + +"Aye, aye, sir," said O'Brien. "And Mr Simple," continued the master, +"go down and bring me up my night-glass." + +"Yes, sir," replied I. I had no idea of a night-glass; and as I observed +that about this time his servant brought him up a glass of grog, I +thought it very lucky that I knew what he meant. "Take care that you +don't break it, Mr Simple." "Oh, then, I'm all right," thought I; "he +means the tumbler." So down I went, called up the gunroom steward, and +desired him to give me a glass of grog for Mr Doball. The steward +tumbled out in his shirt, mixed the grog, and gave it to me, and I +carried it up very carefully to the quarter-deck. + +During my absence, the master had called the captain, and in pursuance +of his orders, O'Brien had called the first lieutenant, and when I came +up the ladder, they were both on deck. As I was ascending, I heard the +master say, "I have sent young Simple down for my night-glass, but he is +so long, that I suppose he has made some mistake. He's but half a fool." +"That I deny," replied Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, just as I put my +foot on the quarter-deck; "he's no fool." "Perhaps not," replied the +master. "Oh, here he is. What made you so long, Mr Simple--where is my +night-glass?" + +"Here it is, sir," replied I, handing him the tumbler of grog; "I told +the steward to make it stiff." The captain and the first lieutenant +burst out into a laugh for Mr Doball was known to be very fond of grog; +the former walked aft to conceal his mirth; but the latter remained. Mr +Doball was in a great rage. "Did not I say that the boy was half a +fool?" cried he to the first lieutenant. "At all events, I'll not allow +that he has proved himself so in this instance," replied Mr Falcon, "for +he has hit the right nail on the head." Then the first lieutenant joined +the captain, and they both went off laughing. "Put it on the capstan, +sir," said Mr Doball to me, in an angry voice. "I'll punish you +by-and-by." I was very much astonished; I hardly knew whether I had done +right or wrong; at all events, thought I to myself, I did for the best; +so I put it on the capstan and walked to my own side of the deck. The +captain and first lieutenant then went below, and O'Brien came aft. +"What vessel is it?" said I. + +"To the best of my belief, it's one of your bathing-machines going home +with despatches," replied he. + +"A bathing machine," said I; "why I thought that they were hauled up on +the beach." "That's the Brighton sort; but these are made not to go up +at all." + +"What then?" + +"Why, to _go down_, to be sure; and remarkably well they answer their +purpose. I won't puzzle you any more, my Peter--I'm spaking +helligorically, which I believe means telling a hell of a lie. It's one +of your ten-gun brigs, to the best of my knowledge." + +I then told O'Brien what had occurred, and how the master was angry with +me. O'Brien laughed very heartily, and told me never to mind, but to +keep in the lee-scuppers and watch him. "A glass of grog is a bait that +he'll play round till he gorges. When you see it to his lips, go up to +him boldly, and ask his pardon, if you have offended him, and then, if +he's a good Christian, as I believe him to be, he'll not refuse it." + +I thought this was very good advice, and I waited under the bulwark on +the lee-side. I observed that the master made shorter and shorter turns +every time, till at last he stopped at the capstan and looked at the +grog. He waited about half a minute, and then he took up the tumbler, +and drank about half of it. It was very strong, and he stopped to take +breath. I thought this was the right time, and I went up to him. The +tumbler was again to his lips, and before he saw me, I said, "I hope, +sir, you'll forgive me; I never heard of a night telescope, and knowing +that you had walked so long, I thought you were tired, and wanted +something to drink to refresh you." "Well, Mr Simple," said he, after he +had finished the glass, with a deep sigh of pleasure, "as you meant +kindly, I shall let you off this time; but recollect, that whenever you +bring me a glass of grog again, it must not be in the presence of the +captain or first lieutenant." I promised him very faithfully, and went +away quite delighted with my having made my peace with him, and more so, +that the first lieutenant had said that I was no fool for what I had +done. + +At last our watch was over, and about two bells I was relieved by the +midshipmen of the next watch. It is very unfair not to relieve in time, +but if I said a word I was certain to be thrashed the next day upon some +pretence or other. On the other hand, the midshipman whom I relieved was +also much bigger than I was, and if I was not up before one bell, I was +cut down and thrashed by him: so that between the two I kept much more +than my share of the watch, except when the master sent me to bed before +it was over. + + + + +Chapter XIII + +The first lieutenant prescribes for one of his patients, his +prescriptions consisting of _draughts_ only--O'Brien finishes the +history of his life, in which the proverb of "the more the merrier" is +sadly disproved--_Shipping_ a new pair of boots causes the _unshipping_ +of their owner--Walking home after a ball, O'Brien meets with an +accident. + + +The next morning I was on deck at seven bells, to see the hammocks +stowed, when I was witness to Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, having +recourse to one of his remedies to cure a mizen-top-boy of smoking, a +practice to which he had a great aversion. He never interfered with the +men smoking in the galley, or chewing tobacco; but he prevented the +boys, that is, lads under twenty or there-abouts, from indulging in the +habit too early. The first lieutenant smelt the tobacco as the boy +passed him on the quarter-deck. "Why, Neill, you have been smoking," +said the first lieutenant. "I thought you were aware that I did not +permit such lads as you to use tobacco." + +"If you please, sir," replied the mizen-top-man, touching his hat, "I'se +got worms, and they say that smoking be good for them." + +"Good for them!" said the first lieutenant; "yes, very good for them, +but very bad for you. Why, my good fellow, they'll thrive upon tobacco +until they grow as large as conger eels. Heat is what the worms are fond +of; but cold--cold will kill them. Now I'll cure you. Quarter-master, +come here. Walk this boy up and down the weather-gangway, and every time +you get forward abreast of the main-tack block, put his mouth to +windward, squeeze him sharp by the nape of the neck until he opens his +mouth wide, and there keep him and let the cold air blow down his +throat, while you count ten; then walk him aft, and when you are forward +again, proceed as before.--Cold kills worms, my poor boy, not tobacco--I +wonder that you are not dead by this time." + +The quarter-master, who liked the joke, as did all the seamen, seized +hold of the lad, and as soon as they arrived forward, gave him such a +squeeze of the neck as to force him to open his mouth, if it were only +to cry with pain. The wind was very fresh, and blew into his mouth so +strong, that it actually whistled while he was forced to keep it open; +and thus, he was obliged to walk up and down, cooling his inside, for +nearly two hours, when the first lieutenant sent for him, and told him, +that he thought all the worms must be dead by that time; but if they +were not, the lad was not to apply his own remedies, but come to him for +another dose. However, the boy was of the same opinion as the first +lieutenant, and never complained of worms again. + +A few nights afterwards, when we had the middle watch, O'Brien proceeded +with his story. + +"Where was it that I left off?" + +"You left off at the time that you were taken out of confinement." + +"So I did, sure enough; and it was with no good-will that I went to my +duty. However, as there was no help for it, I walked up and down the +deck as before, with my hands in my pockets, thinking of old Ireland, +and my great ancestor, Brien Borru. And so I went on behaving myself +like a real gentleman, and getting into no more scrapes, until the fleet +put into the Cove of Cork, and I found myself within a few miles of my +father's house. You may suppose that the anchor had hardly kissed the +mud, before I went to the first lieutenant, and asked leave to go on +shore. Now the first lieutenant was not in the sweetest of tempers, +seeing as how the captain had been hauling him over the coals for not +carrying on the duty according to his satisfaction. So he answered me +very gruffly, that I should not leave the ship. 'Oh, bother!' said I to +myself, 'this will never do.' So up I walked to the captain, and +touching my hat, reminded him that 'I had a father and mother, and a +pretty sprinkling of brothers and sisters, who were dying to see me, and +that I hoped that he would give me leave.' 'Ax the first lieutenant,' +said he, turning away. 'I have, sir,' replied I, 'and he says that the +devil a bit shall I put my foot on shore.' 'Then you have misbehaved +yourself,' said the captain. 'Not a bit of it, Captain Willis,' replied +I; 'it's the first lieutenant who has misbehaved.' 'How, sir?' answered +he, in an angry tone. 'Why, sir, didn't he misbehave just now in not +carrying on the duty according to your will and pleasure? and didn't you +serve him out just as he deserved--and isn't he sulky because you did-- +and arn't that the reason why I am not to go on shore? You see, your +honour, it's all true as I said; and the first lieutenant has misbehaved +and not I. I hope you will allow me to go on shore, captain, God bless +you! and make some allowance for my parental feelings towards the +arthers of my existence.' 'Have you any fault to find with Mr O'Brien?' +said the captain to the first lieutenant, as he came aft. 'No more than +I have with midshipmen in general; but I believe it is not the custom +for officers to ask leave to go on shore before the sails are furled and +the yards squared.' 'Very true,' replied the captain; 'therefore, Mr +O'Brien, you must wait until the watch is called, and then, if you ask +the first lieutenant, I have no doubt but you will have leave granted to +you to go and see your friends.' 'Thank'e kindly, sir,' replied I; and I +hoped that the yards and sails would be finished off as soon as +possible, for my heart was in my mouth, and I felt that if I had been +kept much longer, it would have flown on shore before me. + +"I thought myself very clever in this business, but I was never a +greater fool in my life; for there was no such hurry to have gone on +shore, and the first lieutenant never forgave me for appealing to the +captain--but of that by-and-by, and all in good time. At last I obtained +a grumbling assent to my going on shore, and off I went like a +sky-rocket. Being in a desperate hurry, I hired a jaunting-car to take +me to my father's house. 'Is it the O'Brien of Ballyhinch that you +mane?' inquired the spalpeen who drove the horse. 'Sure it is,' replied +I; 'and how is he, and all the noble family of the O'Briens?" 'All well +enough, bating the boy Tim, who caught a bit of confusion in his head +the other night at the fair, and now lies at home in bed quite +insensible to mate or drink; but the doctors give hopes of his recovery, +as all the O'Briens are known to have such thick heads.' 'What do you +mane by that, bad manners to you?' said I, 'but poor Tim--how did it +happen--was there a fight?' 'Not much of a fight--only a bit of a +skrummage--three crowners' inquests, no more.' 'But you are not going +the straight road, you thief,' said I, seeing that he had turned off to +the left. 'I've my reasons for that, your honour,' replied he; 'I always +turn away from the Castle out of principle--I lost a friend there, and +it makes me melancholy.' 'How came that for to happen?' 'All by +accident, your honour; they hung my poor brother Patrick there, because +he was a bad hand at arithmetic.' 'He should have gone to a better +school then,' said I. 'I've an idea that it was a bad school that he was +brought up in,' replied he, with a sigh. 'He was a cattle-dealer, your +honour, and one day, somehow or another, he'd a cow too much--all for +not knowing how to count, your honour,--bad luck to his school-master.' +'All that may be very true,' said I, 'and pace be to his soul; but I +don't see why you are to drag me, that's in such a hurry, two miles out +of my way, out of principle.' 'Is your honour in a hurry to get home? +Then I'll be thinking they'll not be in such a hurry to see you.' 'And +who told you that my name was O'Brien, you baste?--and do you dare to +say that my friends won't be glad to see me?' 'Plase your honour, it's +all an idea of mine--so say no more about it. Only this I know: Father +M'Grath, who gives me absolution, tould me the other day that I ought to +pay him, and not run in debt, and then run away like Terence O'Brien, +who went to say without paying for his shirts, and his shoes, and his +stockings, nor anything else, and who would live to be hanged as sure as +St Patrick swam over the Liffey with his head under his arm.' 'Bad luck +to that Father McGrath,' cried I; 'devil burn me, but I'll be revenged +upon him!' + +"By that time we had arrived at the door of my father's house. I paid +the rapparee, and in I popped. There was my father and mother, and all +my brothers and sisters (bating Tim, who was in bed sure enough, and +died next day), and that baste Father McGrath to boot. When my mother +saw me she ran to me and hugged me as she wept on my neck, and then she +wiped her eyes and sat down again; but nobody else said 'How d'ye do?' +or opened their mouths to me. I said to myself, 'Sure there's some +trifling mistake here,' but I held my tongue. At last they all opened +their mouths with a vengeance. My father commenced--'Ar'n't you ashamed +on yourself, Terence O'Brien?' 'Ar'n't you ashamed on yourself, Terence +O'Brien?' cried Father M'Grath. 'Ar'n't you ashamed on yourself?' cried +out all my brothers and sisters in full chorus, whilst my poor mother +put her apron to her eyes and said nothing. 'The devil a bit for myself, +but very much ashamed for you all,' replied I, 'to treat me in this +manner. What's the meaning of all this?' 'Haven't they seized my two +cows to pay for your toggery, you spalpeen?' cried my father. 'Haven't +they taken the hay to pay for your shoes and stockings?' cried Father +M'Grath. 'Haven't they taken the pig to pay for that ugly hat of yours?' +cried my eldest sister. 'And haven't they taken my hens to pay for that +dirk of yours?' cried another. 'And all our best furniture to pay for +your white shirts and black cravats?' cried Murdock, my brother. 'And +haven't we been starved to death ever since?' cried they all. 'Och +hone!' said my mother. 'The devil they have!' said I, when they'd all +done. 'Sure I'm sorry enough, but it's no fault of mine. Father, didn't +you send me to say?' 'Yes, you rapparee; but didn't you promise--or +didn't I promise for you, which is all one and the same thing--that +you'd pay it all back with your prize-money--and where is it? answer +that, Terence O'Brien.' 'Where is it, father? I'll tell you; it's where +next Christmas is--coming, but not come yet.' 'Spake to him, Father +M'Grath,' said my father. 'Is not that a lie of yours, Terence O'Brien, +that you're after telling now?' said Father McGrath; 'give me the +money.' 'It's no lie, Father McGrath; if it pleased you to die +to-morrow, the devil of a shilling have I to jingle on your tombstone +for good luck, bating those three or four, which you may divide between +you, and I threw them on the floor. + +"'Terence O'Brien,' said Father McGrath, 'its absolution that you'll be +wanting to-morrow, after all your sins and enormities; and the devil a +bit shall you have--take that now.' + +"'Father M'Grath,' replied I very angrily, 'it's no absolution that I'll +want from you, any how--take that now.' + +"'Then you have had your share of heaven; for I'll keep you out of it, +you wicked monster,' said Father M'Grath--'take that now.' + +"'If it's no better than a midshipman's berth,' replied I, 'I'd just as +soon stay out; but I'll creep in in spite of you--take that now, Father +M'Grath.' + +"'And who's to save your soul, and send you to heaven, if I don't, you +wicked wretch? but I'll see you d--d first--so take that now, Terence +O'Brien.' + +"'Then I'll turn Protestant, and damn the Pope--take that now, Father +M'Grath.' + +"At this last broadside of mine, my father and all my brothers and +sisters raised a cry of horror, and my mother burst into tears. Father +M'Grath seized hold of the pot of holy water, and dipping in the little +whisk, began to sprinkle the room, saying a Latin prayer, while they all +went on squalling at me. At last, my father seized the stool, which he +had been seated upon, and threw it at my head. I dodged, and it knocked +down Father M'Grath, who had just walked behind me in full song. I knew +that it was all over after that, so I sprang over his carcass, and +gained the door. 'Good morning to ye all, and better manners to you next +time we meet,' cried I, and off I set as fast as I could for the ship. + +"I was melancholy enough as I walked back, and thought of what had +passed. 'I need not have been in such a confounded hurry,' said I to +myself, 'to ask leave, thereby affronting the first lieutenant;' and I +was very sorry for what I had said to the priest, for my conscience +thumped me very hard at having even pretended that I'd turn Protestant, +which I never intended to do, nor never will, but live and die a good +Catholic, as all my posterity have done before me, and, as I trust, all +my ancestors will for generations to come. Well, I arrived on board, and +the first lieutenant was very savage. I hoped he would get over it, but +he never did; and he continued to treat me so ill that I determined to +quit the ship, which I did as soon as we arrived in Cawsand Bay. The +captain allowed me to go, for I told him the whole truth of the matter, +and he saw that it was true; so he recommended me to the captain of a +jackass frigate, who was in want of midshipmen." + +"What do you mean by a jackass frigate?" inquired I. + +"I mean one of your twenty-eight gun-ships, so called, because there is +as much difference between them and a real frigate, like the one we are +sailing in, as there is between a donkey and a racehorse. Well, the ship +was no sooner brought down to the dock-yard to have her ballast taken +in, than our captain came down to her--a little, thin, spare man, but a +man of weight nevertheless, for he brought a great pair of scales with +him, and weighed everything that was put on board. I forget his real +name, but the sailors christened him Captain Avoirdupois. He had a large +book, and in it he inserted the weight of the ballast, and of the shot, +water, provisions, coals, standing and running rigging, cables, and +everything else. Then he weighed all the men, and all the midshipmen, +and all the midshipmen's chests, and all the officers, with everything +belonging to them: lastly, he weighed himself, which did not add much to +the sum total. I don't exactly know what this was for; but he was always +talking about centres of gravity, displacement of fluid, and Lord knows +what. I believe it was to find out the longitude, somehow or other, but +I didn't remain long enough in her to know the end of it, for one day I +brought on board a pair of new boots, which I forgot to report that they +might be put into the scales, which swang on the gangway; and whether +the captain thought that they would sink his ship, or for what I can not +tell, but he ordered me to quit her immediately--so, there I was adrift +again. I packed up my traps and went on shore, putting on my new boots +out of spite, and trod into all the mud and mire I could meet, and +walked up and down from Plymouth to Dock until I was tired, as a +punishment to them, until I wore the scoundrels out in a fortnight. + +"One day I was in the dockyard, looking at a two-decker in the basin, +just brought forward for service, and I inquired who was to be the +captain. They told me that his name was O'Connor. Then's he's a +countryman of mine, thought I, and I'll try my luck. So I called at +Goud's Hotel, where he was lodging, and requested to speak with him. I +was admitted, and I told him, with my best bow, that I had come as a +volunteer for his ship, and that my name was O'Brien. As it happened, he +had some vacancies, and liking my brogue, he asked me in what ships I +had served. I told him, and also my reason for quitting my last--which +was, because I was turned out of it. I explained the story of the boots, +and he made inquiries, and found that it was all true; and then he gave +me a vacancy as master's mate. We were ordered to South America, and the +trade winds took us there in a jiffey. I liked my captain and officers +very much; and what was better, we took some good prizes. But somehow or +other, I never had the luck to remain long in one ship, and that by no +fault of mine; at least, not in this instance. All went on as smooth as +possible, until one day the captain took us on shore to a ball, at one +of the peaceable districts. We had a very merry night of it; but as luck +would have it, I had the morning watch to keep, and see the decks +cleaned, and as I never neglected my duty, I set off about three o'clock +in the morning, just at break of day, to go on board of the ship. I was +walking along the sands, thinking of the pretty girl that I'd been +dancing with, and had got about half way to the ship, when three +rapparees of Spanish soldiers came from behind a rock and attacked me +with their swords and bayonets. I had only my dirk, but I was not to be +run through for nothing, so I fought them as long as I could. I finished +one fellow, but at last they finished me; for a bayonet passed through +my body, and I forgot all about it. Well, it appears--for I can only say +to the best of my knowledge and belief--that after they had killed me, +they stripped me naked and buried me in the sand, carrying away with +them the body of their comrade. So there I was--dead and buried." + +"But, O'Brien," said I + +"Whist--hold your tongue--you've not heard the end of it. Well, I had +been buried about an hour--but not very deep it appears, for they were +in too great a hurry--when a fisherman and his daughter came along the +beach, on their way to the boat; and the daughter, God bless her! did me +the favour to tread upon my nose. It was clear that she had never trod +upon an Irishman's nose before, for it surprised her, and she looked +down to see what was there, and not seeing anything, she tried it again +with her foot, and then she scraped off the sand, and discovered my +pretty face. I was quite warm and still breathing, for the sand had +stopped the blood, and prevented my bleeding to death. The fisherman +pulled me out, and took me on his back to the house where the captain +and officers were still dancing. When he brought me in, there was a +great cry from the ladies, not because I was murdered, for they are used +to it in those countries, but because I was naked, which they considered +a much more serious affair. I was put to bed and a boat despatched on +board for our doctor; and in a few hours I was able to speak, and tell +them how it happened. But I was too ill to move when the ship sailed, +which she was obliged to do in a day or two afterwards, so the captain +made out my discharge, and left me there. The family were French, and I +remained with them for six months before I could obtain a passage home, +during which I learnt their language, and a very fair allowance of +Spanish to boot. When I arrived in England, I found that the prizes had +been sold, and that the money was ready for distribution. I produced my +certificate, and received L167 for my share. So it's come at last, +thought I. + +"I never had such a handful of money in my life; but I hope I shall +again very soon. I spread it out on the table as soon as I got home, and +looked at it, and then I said to myself, 'Now, Terence O'Brien, will you +keep this money to yourself, or send it home?' Then I thought of Father +M'Grath, and the stool that was thrown at my head, and I was very near +sweeping it all back into my pocket. But then I thought of my mother, +and of the cows, and the pig, and the furniture, all gone; and of my +brothers and sisters wanting praties, and I made a vow that I'd send +every farthing of it to them, after which Father M'Grath would no longer +think of not giving me absolution. So I sent them every doit, only +reserving for myself the pay which I had received, amounting to about +L30: and I never felt more happy in my life than when it was safe in the +post-office, and fairly out of my hands. I wrote a bit of a letter to my +father at the time, which was to this purpose:-- + + "'HONOURED FATHER,-- + Since our last pleasant meeting, at which you threw the stool at my + head, missing the pigeon and hitting the crow, I have been dead and + buried, but am now quite well, thank God, and want no absolution from + Father M'Grath, bad luck to him. And what's more to the point, I have + just received a batch of prize-money, the first I have handled since I + have served his Majesty, and every farthing of which I now send to + you, that you may get back your old cows, and the pig, and all the + rest of the articles seized to pay for my fitting out; so never again + ask me whether I am not ashamed of myself; more shame to you for + abusing a dutiful son like myself, who went to sea at your bidding, + and has never had a real good potato down his throat ever since. I'm a + true O'Brien, tell my mother, and don't mane to turn Protestant, but + uphold the religion of my country; although the devil may take Father + M'Grath and his holy water to boot. I sha'n't come and see you, as + perhaps you may have another stool ready for my head, and may take + better aim next time. + + So no more at present from your affectionate son, 'TERENCE O'BRIEN.'" + +"About three weeks afterwards I received a letter from my father, +telling me that I was a real O'Brien, and that if any one dared hint to +the contrary, he would break every bone in his body; that they had +received the money, and thanked me for a real gentleman as I was; that I +should have the best stool in the house next time I came, not for my +head, but for my tail; that Father M'Grath sent me his blessing, and had +given me absolution for all I had done, or should do for the next ten +years to come; that my mother had cried with joy at my dutiful +behaviour; and that all my brothers and sisters (bating Tim, who had +died the day after I left them) wished me good luck, and plenty more +prize-money to send home to them. + +"This was all very pleasant; and I had nothing left on my mind but to +get another ship; so I went to the port-admiral, and told him how it was +that I left my last: and he said, 'that being dead and buried was quite +sufficient reason for any one leaving his ship, and that he would +procure me another, now that I had come to life again.' I was sent on +board of the guard-ship, where I remained about ten days, and then was +sent round to join this frigate--and so my story's ended; and there's +eight bells striking--so the watch is ended too; jump down, Peter, and +call Robinson, and tell him that I'll trouble him to forget to go to +sleep again as he did last time, and leave me here kicking my heels, +contrary to the rules and regulations of the service." + + + + +Chapter XIV + +The first lieutenant has more patients--Mr Chucks the Boatswain, lets me +into the secret of his gentility. + + +Before I proceed with my narrative, I wish to explain to the reader that +my history was not written in after-life, when I had obtained a greater +knowledge of the world. When I first went to sea, I promised my mother +that I would keep a journal of what passed, with my reflections upon it. +To this promise I rigidly adhered, and since I have been my own master, +these journals have remained in my possession. In writing, therefore, +the early part of my adventures, everything is stated as it was +impressed on my mind at the time. Upon many points I have since had +reason to form a different opinion from that which is recorded, and upon +many others I have since laughed heartily at my folly and simplicity; +but still, I have thought it advisable to let the ideas of the period +remain, rather than correct them by those of dear-bought experience. A +boy of fifteen, brought up in a secluded country town, cannot be +expected to reason and judge as a young man who has seen much of life, +and passed through a variety of adventures. The reader must therefore +remember, that I have referred to my journal for the opinions and +feelings which guided me between each distinct anniversary of my +existence. + +We had now been cruising for six weeks, and I found that my profession +was much more agreeable than I had anticipated. My desire to please was +taken for the deed; and, although I occasionally made a blunder, yet the +captain and first lieutenant seemed to think that I was attentive to my +duty to the best of my ability, and only smiled at my mistakes. I also +discovered, that, however my natural capacity may have been estimated by +my family, that it was not so depreciated here; and every day I felt +more confidence in myself, and hoped, by attention and diligence, to +make up for a want of natural endowment. There certainly is something in +the life of a sailor which enlarges the mind. When I was at home six +months before, I allowed other people to think for me, and acted wholly +on the leading-strings of their suggestions; on board, to the best of my +ability, I thought for myself. I became happy with my messmates--those +who were harsh upon me left off, because I never resented their conduct, +and those who were kind to me were even kinder than before. The time +flew away quickly, I suppose, because I knew exactly what I had to do, +and each day was the forerunner of the ensuing. The first lieutenant was +one of the most amusing men I ever knew, yet he never relaxed from the +discipline of the service, or took the least liberty with either his +superiors or inferiors. His humour was principally shown in his various +modes of punishment; and, however severe the punishment was to the +party, the manner of inflicting it was invariably a source of amusement +to the remainder of the ship's company. I often thought, that although +no individual liked being punished, yet, that all the ship's company +were quite pleased when a punishment took place. He was very particular +about his decks; they were always as white as snow, and nothing +displeased him so much as their being soiled. It was for that reason +that he had such an objection to the use of tobacco. There were +spitting-pans placed in different parts of the decks for the use of the +men, that they might not dirty the planks with the tobacco-juice. +Sometimes a man in his hurry forgot to use these pans, but, as the mess +to which the stain might be opposite had their grog stopped if the party +were not found out, they took good care not only to keep a look-out, but +to inform against the offender. Now the punishment for the offence was +as follows--the man's hands were tied behind his back, and a large tin +spitting-box fixed to his chest by a strap over the shoulders. All the +other boxes on the lower deck were taken away, and he was obliged to +walk there, ready to attend the summons of any man who might wish to +empty his mouth of the tobacco-juice. The other men were so pleased at +the fancy, that they spat twice as much as before, for the pleasure of +making him run about. Mr Chucks, the boatswain, called it "the first +lieutenant's _perambulating_ spitting-pan." He observed to me one day, +"that really Mr Falcon was such an _epicure_ about his decks, that he +was afraid to pudding an anchor on the forecastle." + +I was much amused one morning watch that I kept. We were stowing the +hammocks in the quarter-deck nettings, when one of the boys came up with +his hammock on his shoulder, and as he passed the first lieutenant, the +latter perceived that he had a quid of tobacco in his cheek. "What have +you got there, my good lad--a gum-boil?--your cheek is very much +swelled." "No, sir," replied the boy, "there's nothing at all the +matter." "O there must be; it is a bad tooth, then. Open your mouth, and +let me see." Very reluctantly the boy opened his mouth, and discovered a +large roll of tobacco-leaf. "I see, I see," said the first lieutenant, +"your mouth wants overhauling, and your teeth cleaning. I wish we had a +dentist on board; but as we have not, I will operate as well as I can. +Send the armourer up here with his tongs." When the armourer made his +appearance, the boy was made to open his mouth, while the chaw of +tobacco was extracted with his rough instrument. "There now," said the +first lieutenant, "I'm sure that you must feel better already; you never +could have had any appetite. Now, captain of the afterguard, bring a +piece of old canvas and some sand here, and clean his teeth nicely." The +captain of the afterguard came forward, and putting the boy's head +between his knees, scrubbed his teeth well with the sand and canvas for +two or three minutes. "There, that will do," said the first lieutenant. +"Now, my little fellow, your mouth is nice and clean, and you'll enjoy +your breakfast. It was impossible for you to have eaten anything with +your mouth in such a nasty state. When it's dirty again, come to me, and +I'll be your dentist." + +One day I was on the forecastle with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was +very kind to me. He had been showing me how to make the various knots +and bends of rope which are used in our service. I am afraid that I was +very stupid, but he showed me over and over again, until I learnt how to +make them. Amongst others, he taught me a fisherman's bend, which he +pronounced to be the _king_ of all knots; "and, Mr Simple," continued +he, "there is a moral in that knot. You observe, that when the parts are +drawn the right way, and together, the more you pull the faster they +hold, and the more impossible to untie them; but see, by hauling them +apart, how a little difference, a pull the other way, immediately +disunites them, and then how easy they cast off in a moment. That points +out the necessity of pulling together in this world, Mr Simple, when we +wish to hold on, and that's a piece of philosophy worth all the +twenty-six thousand and odd years of my friend the carpenter, which +leads to nothing but a brown study, when he ought to be attending to his +duty." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks, you are the better philosopher of the two." + +"I am the better educated, Mr Simple, and I trust, more of a gentleman. +I consider a gentleman to be, to a certain degree, a philosopher, for +very often he is obliged, to support his character as such, to put up +with what another person may very properly fly in a passion about. I +think coolness is the great character-stick of a gentleman. In the +service, Mr Simple, one is obliged to appear angry without indulging the +sentiment. I can assure you, that I never lose my temper, even when I +use my rattan." + +"Why, then, Mr Chucks, do you swear so much at the men? Surely that is +not gentlemanly?" + +"Most certainly not, sir. But I must defend myself by observing the very +artificial state in which we live on board of a man-of-war. Necessity, +my dear Mr Simple, has no law. You must observe how gently I always +commence when I have to find fault. I do that to prove my gentility; +but, sir, my zeal for the service obliges me to alter my language, to +prove in the end that I am in earnest. Nothing would afford me more +pleasure than to be able to carry on the duty as a gentleman, but that's +impossible." + +"I really cannot see why." + +"Perhaps, then, Mr Simple, you will explain to me why the captain and +first lieutenant swear." + +"That I do not pretend to answer, but they only do so upon an +emergency." + +"Exactly so; but, sir, their 'mergency is my daily and hourly duty. In +the continual working of the ship I am answerable for all that goes +amiss. The life of a boatswain is a life of 'mergency, and therefore I +swear." + +"I still cannot allow it to be requisite, and certainly it is sinful." + +"Excuse me, my dear sir; it is absolutely requisite, and not at all +sinful. There is one language for the pulpit, and another for on board +ship, and, in either situation, a man must make use of those terms most +likely to produce the necessary effect upon his listeners. Whether it is +from long custom of the service, or from the indifference of a sailor to +all common things and language (I can't exactly explain myself, Mr +Simple, but I know what I mean), perhaps constant excitement may do, and +therefore he requires more 'stimilis,' as they call it, to make him +move. Certain it is, that common parlancy won't do with a common seaman. +It is not here as in the scriptures, 'Do this, and he doeth it' (by the +bye, that chap must have had his soldiers in tight order); but it is, +'Do this, d--n your eyes,' and then it is done directly. The order to +_do_ just carries the weight of a cannon-shot, but it wants the +perpelling power--the d--n is the gunpowder which sets it flying in the +execution of its duty. Do you comprehend me, Mr Simple?" + +"I perfectly understand you, Mr Chucks, and I cannot help remarking, and +that without flattery, that you are very different from the rest of the +warrant officers. Where did you receive your education?" + +"Mr Simple, I am here a boatswain with a clean shirt, and, I say it +myself, and no one dare gainsay it, also with a thorough knowledge of my +duty. But although I do not say that I ever was better off, I can say +this, that I've been in the best society, in the company of lords and +ladies. I once dined with your grandfather." + +"That's more than ever I did, for he never asked me, nor took the least +notice of me," replied I. + +"What I state is true. I did not know that he was your grandfather until +yesterday, when I was talking with Mr O'Brien; but I perfectly recollect +him, although I was very young at that time. Now, Mr Simple, if you will +promise me as a gentleman (and I know you are one), that you will not +repeat what I tell you, then I'll let you into the history of my life." + +"Mr Chucks, as I am a gentleman I never will divulge it until you are +dead and buried, and not then if you do not wish it." + +"When I am dead and buried, you may do as you please; it may then be of +service to other people, although my story is not a very long one." + +Mr Chucks then sat down upon the fore-end of the booms by the funnel, +and I took my place by his side, when he commenced as follows:-- + +"My father was a boatswain before me--one of the old school, rough as a +bear, and drunken as a Gosport fiddler. My mother was--my mother, and I +shall say no more. My father was invalided for harbour duty after a life +of intoxication, and died shortly afterwards. In the meantime I had +been, by the kindness of the port-admiral's wife, educated at a +foundation school. I was thirteen when my father died, and my mother, +not knowing what to do with me, wished to bind me apprentice to a +merchant vessel; but this I refused, and, after six months' quarrelling +on the subject, I decided the point by volunteering in the _Narcissus_ +frigate. I believe that my gentlemanly ideas were innate, Mr Simple; I +never, as a child, could bear the idea of the merchant service. After I +had been a week on board, I was appointed servant to the purser, where I +gave such satisfaction by my alertness and dexterity, that the first +lieutenant took me away from the purser to attend upon himself, so that +in two months I was a person of such consequence as to create a +disturbance in the gunroom, for the purser was very angry, and many of +the officers took his part. It was whispered that I was the son of the +first lieutenant, and that he was aware of it. How far that may be true +I know not, but there was a likeness between us; and my mother, who was +a very pretty woman, attended his ship many years before as a bumboat +girl. I can't pretend to say anything about it, but this I do say, Mr +Simple--and many will blame me for it, but I can't help my natural +feelings--that I had rather be the bye-blow of a gentleman, than the +'gitimate offspring of a boatswain and his wife. There's no chance of +good blood in your veins in the latter instance, whereas, in the former +you may have stolen a drop or two. It so happened, that after I had +served the first lieutenant for about a year, a young lord (I must not +mention his name, Mr Simple) was sent to sea by his friends, or by his +own choice, I don't know which, but I was told that his uncle, who was +'zeckative, and had an interest in his death, persuaded him to go. A +lord at that period, some twenty-five years ago, was a rarity in the +service, and they used to salute him when he came on board. The +consequence was, that the young lord must have a servant to himself, +although all the rest of the midshipmen had but one servant between +them. The captain inquired who was the best boy in the ship, and the +purser, to whom he appealed, recommended me. Accordingly, much to the +annoyance of the first lieutenant (for first lieutenants in those days +did not assume as they do now, not that I refer to Mr Falcon, who is a +gentleman), I was immediately surrendered to his lordship. I had a very +easy, comfortable life of it--I did little or nothing; if inquired for +when all hands were turned up, I was cleaning his lordship's boots, or +brushing his lordship's clothes, and there was nothing to be said when +his lordship's name was mentioned. We went to the Mediterranean (because +his lordship's mamma wished it), and we had been there about a year, +when his lordship ate so many grapes that he was seized with a +dysentery. He was ill for three weeks, and then he requested to be sent +to Malta in a transport going to Gibraltar, or rather to the Barbary +coast, for bullocks. He became worse every day, and made his will, +leaving me all his effects on board, which I certainly deserved for the +kindness with which I had nursed him. Off Malta we fell in with a +xebeque, bound to Civita Vecchia, and the captain of the transport, +anxious to proceed, advised our going on board of her, as the wind was +light and contrary, and these Mediterranean vessels sailed better on a +wind than the transport. My master, who was now sinking fast, consented, +and we changed our ships. The next day he died, and a gale of wind came +on, which prevented us from gaining the port for several days, and the +body of his lordship not only became so offensive, but affected the +superstition of the Catholic sailors so much, that it was hove +overboard. None of the people could speak English, nor could I speak +Maltese; they had no idea who we were, and I had plenty of time for +cogitation. I had often thought what a fine thing it was to be a lord, +and as often wished that I had been born one. The wind was still against +us, when a merchant vessel ran down to us, that had left Civita Vecchia +for Gibraltar. I desired the captain of the xebeque to make a signal of +distress, or rather I did myself, and the vessel, which proved to be +English, bore down to us. + +"I manned the boat to go on board, and the idea came into my head, that, +although they might refuse to take me, they would not refuse a lord. I +put on the midshipman's uniform belonging to his lordship (but then +certainly belonging to me), and went alongside of the merchant vessel; I +told them that I had left my ship for the benefit of my health, and +wanted a passage to Gibraltar, on my way home. My title, and immediate +acceptance of the terms demanded for my passage, was sufficient. My +property was brought from the xebeque; and, of course, as they could not +speak English, they could not contradict, even if they suspected. Here, +Mr Simple, I must acknowledge a slight flaw in my early history, which I +impart to you in confidence; or otherwise I should not have been able to +prove that I was correct in asserting that I had dined with your +grandfather. But the temptation was too strong, and I could not resist. +Think yourself, Mr Simple, after having served as a ship's boy clouted +here, kicked there, damned by one, and sent to hell by another--to find +myself treated with such respect and deference, and my lorded this and +my lorded that, every minute of the day. During my passage to Gibraltar, +I had plenty of time for arranging my plans. I hardly need say that my +lord's _kit_ was valuable; and what was better, they exactly fitted me. +I also had his watches and trinkets, and many other things, besides a +bag of dollars. However, they were honestly mine; the only thing that I +took was his name, which he had no further occasion for, poor fellow! +But it's no use defending what was wrong--it was dishonest, and there's +an end of it. + +"Now observe, Mr Simple, how one thing leads to another. I declare to +you, that my first idea of making use of his lordship's name, was to +procure a passage to Gibraltar. I then was undecided how to act; but, as +I had charge of his papers and letters to his mother and guardian, I +think--indeed I am almost sure--that I should have laid aside my dignity +and midshipman's dress, and applied for a passage home to the +commissioner of the yard. But it was fated to be otherwise; for the +master of the transport went on shore to report and obtain pratique, and +he told them everywhere that young Lord A---- was a passenger with him, +going to England for the benefit of his health. In less than +half-an-hour, off came the commissioner's boat, and another boat from +the governor, requesting the honour of my company, and that I would take +a bed at their houses during my stay. What could I do? I began to be +frightened; but I was more afraid to confess that I was an impostor, for +I am sure the master of the transport alone would have kicked me +overboard, if I had let him know that he had been so confounded polite +to a ship's boy. So I blushed half from modesty and half from guilt, and +accepted the invitation of the governor; sending a polite verbal refusal +to the commissioner, upon the plea of there being no paper or pens on +board. I had so often accompanied my late master, that I knew very well +how to conduct myself, and had borrowed a good deal of his air and +appearance--indeed, I had a natural taste for gentility. I could write +and read; not perhaps so well as I ought to have done, considering the +education I had received, but still quite well enough for a lord, and +indeed much better than my late master. I knew his signature well +enough, although the very idea of being forced to use it made me +tremble. However, the die was cast. I ought to observe, that in one +point we were not unlike--both had curly light hair and blue eyes; in +other points there was no resemblance. I was by far the better-looking +chap of the two; and as we had been up the Mediterranean for two years, +I had no fear of any doubt as to my identity until I arrived in England. +Well, Mr Simple, I dressed myself very carefully, put on my chains and +rings, and a little perfume on my handkerchief, and accompanied the +aide-de-camp to the governor's, where I was asked after my mother, Lady +----, and my uncle, my guardian, and a hundred other questions. At +first I was much confused, which was attributed to bashfulness; and so +it was, but not of the right sort. But before the day was over, I had +become so accustomed to be called 'my lord,' and to my situation, that I +was quite at my ease, and began to watch the motions and behaviour of +the company, that I might regulate my comportment by that of good +society. I remained at Gibraltar for a fortnight, and then was offered a +passage in a transport ordered to Portsmouth. Being an officer, of +course it was free to a certain extent. On my passage to England, I +again made up my mind that I would put off my dress and title as soon as +I could escape from observation; but I was prevented as before. The +port-admiral sent off to request the pleasure of my company to dinner. I +dared not refuse; and there I was, my lord, as before, courted and +feasted by everybody. Tradesmen called to request the honour of my +lordship's custom; my table at the hotel was covered with cards of all +descriptions; and, to confess the truth, I liked my situation so much, +and had been so accustomed to it, that I now began to dislike the idea +that one day or other I must resign it, which I determined to do as soon +as I quitted the place. My bill at the hotel was very extravagant, and +more than I could pay: but the master said it was not of the least +consequence; that of course his lordship had not provided himself with +cash, just coming from foreign parts, and offered to supply me with +money if I required it. This, I will say, I was honest enough to refuse. +I left my cards, P.P.C., as they do, Mr Simple, in all well-regulated +society, and set off in the mail for London, where I fully resolved to +drop my title, and to proceed to Scotland to his lordship's mother, with +the mournful intelligence of his death--for you see, Mr Simple, no one +knew that his lordship was dead. The captain of the transport had put +him into the xebeque alive, and the vessel bound to Gibraltar had +received him, as they imagined. The captain of the frigate had very soon +afterwards advices from Gibraltar, stating his lordship's recovery and +return to England. Well, I had not been in the coach more than five +minutes, when who should get in but a gentleman whom I had met at the +port-admiral's; besides which the coachman and others knew me very well. +When I arrived in London (I still wore my midshipman's uniform), I went +to an hotel recommended to me, as I afterwards found out, the most +fashionable in town, my title still following me. I now determined to +put off my uniform, and dress in plain clothes--my farce was over. I +went to bed that night, and the next morning made my appearance in a +suit of mufti, making inquiry of the waiter which was the best +conveyance to Scotland. + +"'Post chay and four, my lord. At what time shall I order it?' + +"'O,' replied I, 'I am not sure that I shall go tomorrow.' + +"Just at this moment in came the master of the hotel, with the _Morning +Post_ in his hand, making me a low bow, and pointing to the insertion of +my arrival at his hotel among the fashionables. This annoyed me; and now +that I found how difficult it was to get rid of my title, I became +particularly anxious to be William Chucks, as before. Before +twelve o'clock, three or four gentlemen were ushered into my +sitting-room, who observing my arrival in that damn'd _Morning Post_, +came to pay their respects; and before the day was over I was invited +and re-invited by a dozen people. I found that I could not retreat, and +I went away with the stream, as I did before at Gibraltar and +Portsmouth. For three weeks I was everywhere; and if I found it +agreeable at Portsmouth, how much more so in London! But I was not +happy, Mr Simple, because I was a cheat, every moment expecting to be +found out. But it really was a nice thing to be a lord. + +"At last the play was over. I had been enticed by some young men into a +gambling-house, where they intended to fleece me; but, for the first +night, they allowed me to win, I think, about L300. I was quite +delighted with my success, and had agreed to meet them the next evening; +but when I was at breakfast, with my legs crossed, reading the _Morning +Post_, who should come to see me but my guardian uncle. He knew his +nephew's features too well to be deceived; and my not recognising him +proved at once that I was an impostor. You must allow me to hasten over +the scene which took place--the wrath of the uncle, the confusion in the +hotel, the abuse of the waiters, the police officer, and being dragged +into a hackney coach to Bow-street. There I was examined and confessed +all. The uncle was so glad to find that his nephew was really dead, that +he felt no resentment towards me; and as, after all, I had only assumed +a name, but had cheated nobody, except the landlord at Portsmouth, I was +sent on board the tender off the Tower, to be drafted into a man-of-war. +As for my L300, my clothes, &c., I never heard any more of them; they +were seized, I presume, by the landlord of the hotel for my bill, and +very handsomely he must have paid himself. I had two rings on my +fingers, and a watch in my pocket, when I was sent on board the tender, +and I stowed them away very carefully. I had also a few pounds in my +purse. I was sent round to Plymouth, where I was drafted into a frigate. +After I had been there some time, I turned the watch and rings into +money, and bought myself a good kit of clothes; for I could not bear to +be dirty. I was put into the mizen-top, and no one knew that I had been +a lord." + +"You found some difference, I should think, in your situation?" + +"Yes, I did, Mr Simple; but I was much happier. I could not forget the +ladies, and the dinners, and the opera, and all the delights of London, +beside the respect paid to my title, and I often sighed for them; but +the police officer and Bow-street also came to my recollection, and I +shuddered at the remembrance. It had, however, one good effect; I +determined to be an officer if I could, and learnt my duty, and worked +my way up to quarter-master, and thence to boatswain--and I know my +duty, Mr Simple. But I've been punished for my folly ever since. I +formed ideas above my station in life, and cannot help longing to be a +gentleman. It's a bad thing for a man to have ideas above his station." + +"You certainly must find some difference between the company in London +and that of the warrant officers." + +"It's many years back now, sir; but I can't get over the feeling. I +can't 'sociate with them at all. A man may have the feelings of a +gentleman, although in a humble capacity; but how can I be intimate with +such people as Mr Dispart or Mr Muddle, the carpenter? All very well in +their way, Mr Simple, but what can you expect from officers who boil +their 'tators in a cabbage-net hanging in the ship's coppers, when they +know that there is one-third of a stove allowed them to cook their +victuals on?" + + + + +Chapter XV + +I go on service and am made prisoner by an old lady, who, not able to +obtain my hand, takes part of my finger as a token--O'Brien rescues me-- +A lee shore and narrow escape. + + +Two or three days after this conversation with Mr Chucks, the captain +ran the frigate in shore, and when within five miles we discovered two +vessels under the land. We made all sail in chase, and cut them off from +escaping round a sandy point which they attempted to weather. Finding +that they could not effect their purpose, they ran on shore under a +small battery of two guns, which commenced firing upon us. The first +shot which whizzed between the masts had to me a most terrific sound, +but the officers and men laughed at it, so of course I pretended to do +the same, but in reality I could see nothing to laugh at. The captain +ordered the starboard watch to be piped to quarters, and the boats to be +cleared, ready for hoisting out; we then anchored within a mile of the +battery, and returned the fire. In the meantime, the remainder of the +ship's company hoisted out and lowered down four boats, which were +manned and armed to storm the battery. I was very anxious to go on +service, and O'Brien, who had command of the first cutter, allowed me to +go with him, on condition that I stowed myself away under the +foresheets, that the captain might not see me before the boats had +shoved off. This I did, and was not discovered. We pulled in abreast +towards the battery, and in less than ten minutes the boats were run on +the beach, and we jumped out. The Frenchmen fired a gun at us as we +pulled close to the shore, and then ran away, so that we took possession +without any fighting, which, to confess the truth, I was not sorry for, +as I did not think that I was old or strong enough to cope hand to hand +with a grown-up man. There were a few fishermen's huts close to the +battery, and while two of the boats went on board of the vessels, to see +if they could be got off, and others were spiking the guns and +destroying the carriages, I went with O'Brien to examine them: they were +deserted by the people, as might have been supposed, but there was a +great quantity of fish in them, apparently caught that morning. O'Brien +pointed to a very large skate--"Murder in Irish!" cried he, "it's the +very ghost of my grandmother! we'll have her if it's only for the family +likeness. Peter, put your finger into the gills, and drag her down to +the boat." I could not force my finger into the gills, and as the animal +appeared quite dead, I hooked my finger into its mouth; but I made a sad +mistake, for the animal was alive, and immediately closed its jaws, +nipping my finger to the bone, and holding it so tight that I could not +withdraw it, and the pain was too great to allow me to pull it away by +main force, and tear my finger, which it held so fast. There I was, +caught in a trap, and made a prisoner by a flat-fish. Fortunately, I +hallooed loud enough to make O'Brien, who was close down to the boats, +with a large codfish under each arm, turn round and come to my +assistance. At first he could not help me, from laughing so much; but at +last he forced open the jaw of the fish with his cutlass, and I got my +finger out, but very badly torn indeed. I then took off my garter, tied +it round the tail of the skate, and dragged it to the boat, which was +all ready to shove off. The other boats had found it impossible to get +the vessels off without unloading--so, in pursuance of the captain's +orders, they were set on fire, and before we lost sight of them, had +burnt down to the water's edge. My finger was very bad for three weeks, +and the officers laughed at me very much, saying that I narrowly escaped +being made a prisoner of by an "old maid." + +We continued our cruise along the coast, until we had run down into the +Bay of Arcason, where we captured two or three vessels, and obliged many +more to run on shore. And here we had an instance showing, how very +important it is that a captain of a man-of-war should be a good sailor, +and have his ship in such discipline as to be strictly obeyed by his +ship's company. I heard the officers unanimously assert, after the +danger was over, that nothing but the presence of mind which was shown +by Captain Savage could have saved the ship and her crew. We had chased +a convoy of vessels to the bottom of the bay: the wind was very fresh +when we hauled off, after running them on shore, and the surf on the +beach even at that time was so great, that they were certain to go to +pieces before they could be got afloat again. We were obliged to +double-reef the topsails as soon as we hauled to the wind, and the +weather looked very threatening. In an hour afterwards, the whole sky +was covered with one black cloud, which sank so low as nearly to touch +our mast-heads, and a tremendous sea, which appeared to have risen up +almost by magic, rolled in upon us, setting the vessel on a dead lee +shore. As the night closed in, it blew a dreadful gale, and the ship was +nearly buried with the press of canvas which she was obliged to carry; +for had we sea-room, we should have been lying-to under storm staysails; +but we were forced to carry on at all risks, that we might claw off +shore. The sea broke over as we lay in the trough, deluging us with +water from the forecastle, aft to the binnacles; and very often as the +ship descended with a plunge, it was with such force that I really +thought she would divide in half with the violence of the shock. Double +breechings were rove on the guns, and they were further secured with +tackles, and strong cleats nailed behind the trunnions, for we heeled +over so much when we lurched, that the guns were wholly supported by the +breechings and tackles, and had one of them broken loose, it must have +burst right through the lee side of the ship, and she must have +foundered. The captain, first lieutenant, and most of the officers, +remained on deck during the whole of the night; and really, what with +the howling of the wind, the violence of the rain, the washing of the +water about the decks, the working of the chain-pumps, and the creaking +and groaning of the timbers, I thought that we must inevitably have been +lost; and I said my prayers at least a dozen times during the night, for +I felt it impossible to go to bed. I had often wished, out of curiosity, +that I might be in a gale of wind, but I little thought it was to have +been a scene of this description, or anything half so dreadful. What +made it more appalling was, that we were on a lee shore, and the +consultations of the captain and officers, and the eagerness with which +they looked out for daylight, told us that we had other dangers to +encounter besides the storm. At last the morning broke, and the look-out +man upon the gangway called out, "Land on the lee beam." I perceived the +master dash his fist against the hammock-rails, as if with vexation, and +walk away without saying a word, and looking very grave. + +"Up, there, Mr Wilson," said the captain, to the second lieutenant, "and +see how far the land trends forward, and whether you can distinguish the +point." The second lieutenant went up the main-rigging, and pointed with +his hand to about two points before the beam. + +"Do you see two hillocks inland?" + +"Yes, sir," replied the second lieutenant. + +"Then it is so," observed the captain to the master, "and if we weather +it, we shall have more sea-room. Keep her full, and let her go through +the water; do you hear, quarter-master?" + +"Ay, ay, sir." + +"Thus, and no nearer, my man. Ease her with a spoke or two when she +sends; but be careful, or she'll take the wheel out of your hands." + +It really was a very awful sight. When the ship was in the trough of the +sea, you could distinguish nothing but a waste of tumultuous water; but +when she was borne up on the summit of the enormous waves, you then +looked down, as it were, upon a low, sandy coast, close to you, and +covered with foam and breakers. "She behaves nobly," observed the +captain, stepping aft to the binnacle, and looking at the compass; "if +the wind does not baffle us, we shall weather." The captain had scarcely +time to make the observation, when the sails shivered and flapped like +thunder. "Up with the helm; what are you about, quarter-master?" + +"The wind has headed us, sir," replied the quarter-master, coolly. + +The captain and master remained at the binnacle watching the compass, +and when the sails were again full, she had broken off two points, and +the point of land was only a little on the lee bow. + +"We must wear her round, Mr Falcon. Hands, wear ship--ready, oh, ready." + +"She has come up again," cried the master, who was at the binnacle. + +"Hold fast there a minute. How's her head now?" + +"N.N.E., as she was before she broke off, sir." + +"Pipe belay," said the captain. "Falcon," continued he, "if she breaks +off again we may have no room to wear; indeed there is so little room +now, that I must run the risk. Which cable was ranged last night--the +best bower?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Jump down, then, and see it double-bitted and stoppered at thirty +fathoms. See it well done--our lives may depend upon it." + +The ship continued to hold her course good; and we were within half a +mile of the point, and fully expected to weather it, when again the wet +and heavy sails flapped in the wind, and the ship broke off two points +as before. The officers and seamen were aghast, for the ship's head was +right on to the breakers. "Luff now, all you can, quarter-master," cried +the captain. "Send the men aft directly. My lads, there is no time for +words--I am going to _club-haul_ the ship, for there is no room to wear. +The only chance you have of safety is to be cool, watch my eye, and +execute my orders with precision. Away to your stations for tacking +ship. Hands by the best bower anchor. Mr Wilson, attend below with the +carpenter and his mates, ready to cut away the cable at the moment that +I give the order. Silence, there, fore and aft. Quarter-master, keep her +full again for stays. Mind you ease the helm down when I tell you." +About a minute passed before the captain gave any further orders. The +ship had closed--to within a quarter of a mile of the beach, and the +waves curled and topped around us, bearing us down upon the shore, which +presented one continued surface of foam, extending to within half a +cable's length of our position. The captain waved his hand in silence to +the quarter-master at the wheel, and the helm was put down. The ship +turned slowly to the wind, pitching and chopping as the sails were +spilling. When she had lost her way, the captain gave the order, "Let go +the anchor. We will haul all at once, Mr Falcon," said the captain. Not +a word was spoken, the men went to the fore brace, which had not been +manned; most of them knew, although I did not, that if the ship's head +did not go round the other way, we should be on shore, and among the +breakers in half a minute. I thought at the time that the captain had +said that he would haul all the yards at once, there appeared to be +doubt or dissent on the countenance of Mr Falcon; and I was afterwards +told that he had not agreed with the captain, but he was too good an +officer, and knew that there was no time for discussion, to make any +remark; and the event proved that the captain was right. At last the +ship was head to wind, and the captain gave the signal. The yards flew +round with such a creaking noise, that I thought the masts had gone over +the side, and the next moment the wind had caught the sails, and the +ship, which for a moment or two had been on an even keel, careened over +to her gunnel with its force. The captain, who stood upon the +weather-hammock rails, holding by the main-rigging, ordered the helm +amidships, looked full at the sails, and then at the cable, which grew +broad upon the weather bow, and held the ship from nearing the shore. At +last he cried, "Cut away the cable!" A few strokes of the axes were +heard, and then the cable flew out of the hawsehole in a blaze of fire, +from the violence of the friction, and disappeared under a huge wave, +which struck us on the chess-tree, and deluged us with water fore and +aft. But we were now on the other tack, and the ship regained her way +and we had evidently increased our distance from the land. "My lads," +said the captain to the ship's company, "you have behaved well, and I +thank you; but I must tell you honestly that we have more difficulties +to get through. We have to weather a point of the bay on this tack. Mr +Falcon, splice the main-brace, and call the watch. How's her head, +quarter-master?" + +"S.W. by S. Southerly, sir." + +"Very well; let her go through the water;" and the captain, beckoning to +the master to follow him, went down into the cabin. As our immediate +danger was over, I went down into the berth to see if I could get +anything for breakfast, where I found O'Brien and two or three more. + +"By the powers, it was as nate a thing as ever I saw done," observed +O'Brien: "the slightest mistake as to time or management, and at this +moment the flatfish would have been dubbing at our ugly carcases. Peter, +you're not fond of flatfish, are you, my boy? We may thank Heaven and +the captain, I can tell you that, my lads; but now, where's the chart, +Robinson? Hand me down the parallel rules and compasses, Peter; they are +in the corner of the shelf. Here we are now, a devilish sight too near +this infernal point. Who knows how her head is?" + +"I do, O'Brien: I heard the quarter-master tell the captain S.W. by S. +Southerly." + +"Let me see," continued O'Brien, "variation 2 1/4 lee way--rather too +large an allowance of that, I'm afraid; but, however, we'll give her 2 +1/2 points; the _Diomede_ would blush to make any more, under any +circumstances. Here--the compass--now we'll see;" and O'Brien advanced +the parallel rule from the compass to the spot where the ship was placed +on the chart. "Bother! you see it's as much as she'll do to weather the +other point now, on this tack, and that's what the captain meant, when +he told us we had more difficulty. I could have taken my Bible oath that +we were clear of everything, if the wind held." + +"See what the distance is, O'Brien," said Robinson. It was measured, and +proved to be thirteen miles. "Only thirteen miles; and if we do weather, +we shall do very well, for the bay is deep beyond. It's a rocky point, +you see, just by way of variety. Well, my lads, I've a piece of comfort +for you, anyhow. It's not long that you'll be kept in suspense, for by +one o'clock this day, you'll either be congratulating each other upon +your good luck, or you'll be past praying for. Come, put up the chart, +for I hate to look at melancholy prospects; and, steward, see what you +can find in the way of comfort." Some bread and cheese, with the remains +of yesterday's boiled pork, were put on the table, with a bottle of rum, +procured at the time they "spliced the mainbrace;" but we were all too +anxious to eat much, and one by one returned on deck to see how the +weather was, and if the wind at all favoured us. On deck the superior +officers were in conversation with the captain, who had expressed the +same fear that O'Brien had in our berth. The men, who knew what they had +to expect--for this sort of intelligence is soon communicated through a +ship--were assembled in knots, looking very grave, but at the same time +not wanting in confidence. They knew that they could trust to the +captain, as far as skill or courage could avail them, and sailors are +too sanguine to despair, even at the last moment. As for myself, I felt +such admiration for the captain, after what I had witnessed that +morning, that, whenever the idea came over me, that in all probability I +should be lost in a few hours, I could not help acknowledging how much +more serious it was that such a man should be lost to his country. I do +not intend to say that it consoled me; but it certainly made me still +more regret the chances with which we were threatened. + +Before twelve o'clock, the rocky point which we so much dreaded was in +sight, broad on the lee-bow; and if the low sandy coast appeared +terrible, how much more did this, even at a distance: the black masses +of rock, covered with foam, which each minute dashed up in the air, +higher than our lower mast-heads. The captain eyed it for some minutes +in silence, as if in calculation. + +"Mr Falcon," said he at last, "we must put the mainsail on her." + +"She never can bear it, sir." + +"She _must_ bear it," was the reply. "Send the men aft to the mainsheet. +See that careful men attend the buntlines." + +The mainsail was set, and the effect of it upon the ship was tremendous. +She careened over so that her lee channels were under the water, and +when pressed by a sea, the lee-side of the quarter-deck and gangway were +afloat. She now reminded me of a goaded and fiery horse, mad with the +stimulus applied; not rising as before, but forcing herself through +whole seas, and dividing the waves, which poured in one continual +torrent from the forecastle down upon the decks below. Four men were +secured to the wheel--the sailors were obliged to cling, to prevent +being washed away--the ropes were thrown in confusion to leeward, the +shot rolled out of the lockers, and every eye was fixed aloft, watching +the masts, which were expected every moment to go over the side. A heavy +sea struck us on the broadside, and it was some moments before the ship +appeared to recover herself; she reeled, trembled, and stopped her way, +as if it had stupefied her. The first lieutenant looked at the captain, +as if to say, "This will not do." "It is our only chance," answered the +captain to the appeal. That the ship went faster through the water, and +held a better wind, was certain; but just before we arrived at the point +the gale increased in force. "If anything starts, we are lost, sir," +observed the first lieutenant again. + +"I am perfectly aware of it," replied the captain, in a calm tone; "but, +as I said before, and you must now be aware, it is our only chance. The +consequence of any carelessness or neglect in the fitting and securing +of the rigging, will be felt now; and this danger, if we escape it, +ought to remind us how much we have to answer for if we neglect our +duty. The lives of a whole ship's company may be sacrificed by the +neglect or incompetence of an officer when in harbour. I will pay you +the compliment, Falcon, to say, that I feel convinced that the masts of +the ship are as secure as knowledge and attention can make them." + +The first lieutenant thanked the captain for his good opinion, and hoped +it would not be the last compliment which he paid him. + +"I hope not too; but a few minutes will decide the point." + +The ship was now within two cables' lengths of the rocky point; some few +of the men I observed to clasp their hands, but most of them were +silently taking off their jackets, and kicking off their shoes, that +they might not lose a chance of escape provided the ship struck. + +"'Twill be touch and go indeed, Falcon," observed the captain (for I had +clung to the belaying-pins, close to them, for the last half-hour that +the mainsail had been set). "Come aft, you and I must take the helm. We +shall want _nerve_ there, and only there, now." + +The captain and first lieutenant went aft, and took the forespokes of +the wheel, and O'Brien, at a sign made by the captain, laid hold of the +spokes behind him. An old quarter-master kept his station at the fourth. +The roaring of the seas on the rocks, with the howling of the wind, were +dreadful; but the sight was more dreadful than the noise. For a few +moments I shut my eyes, but anxiety forced me to open them again. As +near as I could judge, we were not twenty yards from the rocks, at the +time that the ship passed abreast of them. We were in the midst of the +foam, which boiled around us; and as the ship was driven nearer to them, +and careened with the wave, I thought that our main-yard-arm would have +touched the rock; and at this moment a gust of wind came on, which laid +the ship on her beam-ends, and checked her progress through the water, +while the accumulated noise was deafening. A few moments more the ship +dragged on, another wave dashed over her and spent itself upon the +rocks, while the spray was dashed back from them, and returned upon the +decks. The main rock was within ten yards of her counter, when another +gust of wind laid us on our beam-ends, the foresail and mainsail split, +and were blown clean out of the bolt-ropes--the ship righted, trembling +fore and aft. I looked astern: the rocks were to windward on our +quarter, and we were safe. I thought at the time, that the ship, +relieved of her courses, and again lifting over the waves, was not a bad +similitude of the relief felt by us all at that moment; and, like her, +we trembled as we panted with the sudden reaction, and felt the removal +of the intense anxiety which oppressed our breasts. + +The captain resigned the helm, and walked aft to look at the point, +which was now broad on the weather quarter. In a minute or two, he +desired Mr Falcon to get new sails up and bend them, and then went below +to his cabin. I am sure it was to thank God for our deliverance: I did +most fervently, not only then, but when I went to my hammock at night. +We were now comparatively safe--in a few hours completely so; for +strange to say, immediately after we had weathered the rocks, the gale +abated, and before morning we had a reef out of the topsails. It was my +afternoon watch, and perceiving Mr Chucks on the forecastle, I went +forward to him, and asked him what he thought of it. + +"Thought of it, sir!" replied he; "why, I always think bad of it when +the elements won't allow my whistle to be heard; and I consider it +hardly fair play. I never care if we are left to our own exertions; but +how is it possible for a ship's company to do their best, when they +cannot hear the boatswain's pipe? However, God be thanked, nevertheless, +and make better Christians of us all! As for that carpenter, he is mad. +Just before we weathered the point, he told me that it was just the same +27,600 and odd years ago. I do believe that on his death-bed (and he was +not far from a very hard one yesterday), he will tell us how he died so +many thousand years ago, of the same complaint. And that gunner of ours +is a fool. Would you believe it, Mr Simple, he went crying about the +decks, 'O my poor guns, what will become of them if they break loose?' +He appeared to consider it of no consequence if the ship and ship's +company were all lost, provided that his guns were safely landed on the +beach. + +"'Mr Dispart,' said I, at last, 'allow me to observe, in the most +delicate way in the world, that you're a d----d old fool.' You see, Mr +Simple, it's the duty of an officer to generalise, and be attentive to +parts, only in consideration of the safety of the whole. I look after my +anchors and cables, as I do after the rigging; not that I care for any +of them in particular, but because the safety of a ship depends upon her +being well found. I might just as well cry because we sacrificed an +anchor and cable yesterday morning, to save the ship from going on +shore." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks," replied I. + +"Private feelings," continued he, "must always be sacrificed for the +public service. As you know, the lower deck was full of water, and all +our cabins and chests were afloat; but I did not think then about my +shirts, and look at them now, all blowing out in the forerigging, +without a particle of starch left in the collars or the frills. I shall +not be able to appear as an officer ought to do for the whole of the +cruise." + +As he said this, the cooper, going forward, passed by him, and jostled +him in passing. "Beg pardon, sir," said the man, "but the ship lurched." + +"The ship lurched, did it?" replied the boatswain, who, I am afraid, was +not in the best of humours about his wardrobe. "And pray, Mr Cooper, why +has heaven granted you two legs, with joints at the knees, except to +enable you to counteract the horizontal deviation? Do you suppose they +were meant for nothing but to work round a cask with? Hark, sir, did you +take me for a post to scrub your pig's hide against? Allow me just to +observe, Mr Cooper--just to insinuate, that when you pass an officer, it +is your duty to keep at a respectable distance, and not to soil his +clothes with your rusty iron jacket. Do you comprehend me, sir; or will +this make you recollect in future?" The rattan was raised, and descended +in a shower of blows, until the cooper made his escape into the head. +"There, take that, you contaminating, stave-dubbing, gimlet-carrying, +quintessence of a bung-hole! I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, for +interrupting the conversation, but when duty calls, we must obey." + +"Very true, Mr Chucks. It's now striking seven bells, and I must call +the master--so good-by." + + + + +Chapter XVI + +News from home--A _fatigue_ party employed at Gibraltar--More +particulars in the life of Mr Chucks--A brush with the enemy--A +court-martial and a lasting impression. + + +A few days afterwards, a cutter joined us from Plymouth, with orders for +the frigate to proceed forthwith to Gibraltar, where we should learn our +destination. We were all very glad of this: for we had had quite enough +of cruising in the Bay of Biscay; and, as we understood that we were to +be stationed in the Mediterranean, we hoped to exchange gales of wind +and severe weather, for fine breezes and a bright sky. The cutter +brought out our letters and newspapers. I never felt more happy than I +did when I found one put into my hands. It is necessary to be far from +home and friends, to feel the real delight of receiving a letter. I went +down into the most solitary place in the steerage, that I might enjoy it +without interruption. I cried with pleasure before I opened it, but I +cried a great deal more with grief, after I had read the contents--for +my eldest brother Tom was dead of a typhus fever. Poor Tom! when I +called to mind what tricks he used to play me--how he used to borrow my +money and never pay me--and how he used to thrash me and make me obey +him, because he was my eldest brother--I shed a torrent of tears at his +loss; and then I reflected how miserable my poor mother must be, and I +cried still more. + +"What's the matter, spooney?" said O'Brien, coming up to me. "Who has +been licking you now?" + +"O, nobody," replied I; "but my eldest brother Tom is dead, and I have +no other." + +"Well, Peter, I dare say that your brother was a very good brother; but +I'll tell you a secret. When you've lived long enough to have a beard to +scrape at, you'll know better than to make a fuss about an elder +brother. But you're a good, innocent boy just now, so I won't thrash you +for it. Come, dry your eyes, Peter, and never mind it. We'll drink his +health and long life to him, after supper, and then never think any more +about it." + +I was very melancholy for a few days; but it was so delightful running +down the Portuguese and Spanish coasts, the weather was so warm, and the +sea so smooth, that I am afraid I forgot my brother's death sooner than +I ought to have done; but my spirits were cheered up, and the novelty of +the scene prevented me from thinking. Every one, too, was so gay and +happy, that I could not well be otherwise. In a fortnight, we anchored +in Gibraltar Bay, and the ship was stripped to refit. There was so much +duty to be done, that I did not like to go on shore. Indeed, Mr Falcon +had refused some of my messmates, and I thought it better not to ask, +although I was very anxious to see a place which was considered so +extraordinary. One afternoon, I was looking over the gangway as the +people were at supper, and Mr Falcon came up to me and said, "Well, Mr +Simple, what are you thinking of?" I replied, touching my hat, that I +was wondering how they had cut out the solid rock into galleries, and +that they must be very curious. + +"That is to say, that you are very curious to see them. Well, then, +since you have been very attentive to your duty, and have not asked to +go on shore, I will give you leave to go to-morrow morning and stay till +gun-fire." + +I was very much pleased at this, as the officers had a general +invitation to dine with the mess, and all who could obtain leave being +requested to come, I was enabled to join the party. The first lieutenant +had excused himself on the plea of there being so much to attend to on +board; but most of the gun-room officers and some of the midshipmen +obtained leave. We walked about the town and fortifications until +dinner-time, and then we proceeded to the barracks. The dinner was very +good, and we were all very merry; but after the dessert had been brought +in, I slipped away with a young ensign, who took me all over the +galleries, and explained everything to me, which was a much better way +of employing my time than doing as the others did, which the reader will +acknowledge. I was at the sally-port before gun-fire--the boat was +there, but no officers made their appearance. The gun fired, the +drawbridge was hauled up, and I was afraid that I should be blamed; but +the boat was not ordered to shove off, as it was waiting for +commissioned officers. About an hour afterwards, when it was quite dark, +the sentry pointed his arms and challenged a person advancing with, "Who +comes there?"--"Naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow," was the reply, +in a loud singing voice. Upon which, the sentry recovered his arms, +singing in return, "Pass naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow--and +all's well!" and then appeared a soldier in his fatigue dress, wheeling +down the third lieutenant in a wheelbarrow, so tipsy that he could not +stand or speak. Then the sentry challenged again, and the answer was, +"Another naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow;" upon which the sentry +replied as before, "Pass, another naval officer, drunk on a wheelbarrow +--and all's well." This was my friend O'Brien, almost as bad as the +third lieutenant; and so they continued for ten minutes, challenging and +passing, until they wheeled down the remainder of the party, with the +exception of the second lieutenant, who walked arm and arm with the +officer who brought down the order for lowering the drawbridge. I was +much shocked, for I considered it very disgraceful; but I afterwards was +told, which certainly admitted of some excuse, that the mess were +notorious for never permitting any of their guests to leave the table +sober. They were all safely put into the boat, and I am glad to say, the +first lieutenant was in bed and did not see them; but I could not help +acknowledging the truth of an observation made by one of the men as the +officers were handed into the boat, "I say, Bill, if _them_ were _we_, +what a precious twisting we should get to-morrow at six bells!" + +The ship remained in Gibraltar Bay about three weeks, during which time +we had refitted the rigging fore and aft, restowed and cleaned the hold, +and painted outside. She never looked more beautiful than she did when, +in obedience to our orders, we made sail to join the admiral. We passed +Europa Point with a fair wind, and at sunset we were sixty miles from +the Rock, yet it was distinctly to be seen, like a blue cloud, but the +outline perfectly correct. I mention this, as perhaps my reader would +not have believed that it was possible to see land at such a distance. +We steered for Cape de Gatte, and we were next day close in shore. I was +very much delighted with the Spanish coast, mountain upon mountain, hill +upon hill, covered with vines nearly to their summits. We might have +gone on shore at some places, for at that time we were friendly with +the Spaniards, but the captain was in too great a hurry to join the +admiral. We had very light winds, and a day or two afterwards we were +off Valencia, nearly becalmed. I was on the gangway, looking through a +telescope at the houses and gardens round the city, when Mr Chucks, the +boatswain, came up to me. "Mr Simple, oblige me with that glass a +moment; I wish to see if a building remains there, which I have some +reason to remember." + +"What, were you ever on shore there?" + +"Yes I was, Mr Simple, and nearly _stranded_, but I got off again +without much damage." + +"How do you mean--were you wrecked, then?" + +"Not my ship, Mr Simple, but my peace of mind was for some time; but +it's many years ago, when I was first made boatswain of a corvette +(during this conversation he was looking through the telescope); yes, +there it is," said he; "I have it in the field. Look, Mr Simple, do you +see a small church, with a spire of glazed tiles, shining like a +needle?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"Well, then, just above it, a little to the right, there is a long white +house, with four small windows--below the grove of orange-trees." + +"I see it," replied I; "but what about that house, Mr Chucks?" + +"Why, thereby hangs a tale," replied he, giving a sigh, which raised and +then lowered the frill of his shirt at least six inches. + +"Why, what is the mystery, Mr Chucks?" + +"I'll tell you, Mr Simple. With one who lived in that house, I was for +the first, and for the last time, in love." + +"Indeed! I should like very much to hear the story." + +"So you shall, Mr Simple, but I must beg that you will not mention it, +as young gentlemen are apt to quiz; and I think that being quizzed hurts +my authority with the men. It is now about sixteen years back--we were +then on good terms with the Spaniards, as we are now. I was then little +more than thirty years old, and had just received my warrant as +boatswain. I was considered a well-looking young man at that time, +although lately I have, to a certain degree, got the better of that." + +"Well, I consider you a remarkably good-looking man now, Mr Chucks." + +"Thank you, Mr Simple, but nothing improves by age, that I know of, +except rum. I used to dress very smart, and 'cut the boatswain' when I +was on shore: and perhaps I had not lost so much of the polish I had +picked up in good society. One evening, I was walking in the Plaza, when +I saw a female ahead, who appeared to be the prettiest moulded little +vessel that I ever cast my eyes on. I followed in her wake, and examined +her: such a clean run I never beheld--so neat, too, in all her rigging-- +everything so nicely stowed under hatches. And then, she sailed along in +such a style, at one moment lifting so lightly, just like a frigate, +with her topsails on the caps, that can't help going along. At another +time, as she turned a corner sharp up in the wind--wake as straight as +an arrow--no leeway--I made all sail to sheer alongside of her, and, +when under quarter, examined her close. Never saw such a fine swell in +the counter, and all so trim--no ropes towing overboard. Well, Mr +Simple, I said to myself, 'D--n it, if her figurehead and bows be +finished off by the same builder, she's perfect.' So I shot ahead, and +yawed a little--caught a peep at her through her veil, and saw two black +eyes--as bright as beads, and as large as damsons. I saw quite enough, +and not wishing to frighten her, I dropped astern. Shortly afterwards +she altered her course, steering for that white house. Just as she was +abreast of it, and I playing about her weather quarter, the priests came +by in procession, taking the _host_ to somebody who was dying. My little +frigate lowered her top-gallant sails out of respect, as other nations +used to do, and ought now, and be d----d to them, whenever they pass +the flag of old England--" + +"How do you mean?" inquired I. + +"I mean that she spread her white handkerchief, which fluttered in her +hand as she went along, and knelt down upon it on one knee. I did the +same, because I was obliged to heave-to to keep my station, and I +thought, that if she saw me, it would please her. When she got up, I was +on my legs also; but in my hurry I had not chosen a very clean place, +and I found out, when I got up again, that my white jean trousers were +in a shocking mess. The young lady turned round, and seeing my +misfortune, laughed, and then went into the white house, while I stood +there like a fool, first looking at the door of the house, and then at +my trousers. However, I thought that I might make it the means of being +acquainted with her, so I went to the door and knocked. An old gentleman +in a large cloak, who was her father, came out; I pointed to my +trousers, and requested him in Spanish to allow me a little water to +clean them. The daughter then came from within, and told her father how +the accident had happened. The old gentleman was surprised that an +English officer was so good a Christian, and appeared to be pleased. He +asked me very politely to come in, and sent an old woman for some water. +I observed that he was smoking a bit of paper, and having very +fortunately about a couple of dozen of real Havannahs in my pocket (for +I never smoke anything else, Mr Simple, it being my opinion that no +gentleman can), I took them out, and begged his acceptance of them. His +eyes glistened at the sight of them, but he refused to take more than +one; however, I insisted upon his taking the whole bundle, telling him +that I had plenty more on board, reserving one for myself, that I might +smoke it with him. He then requested me to sit down, and the old woman +brought some sour wine, which I declared was very good, although it made +me quite ill afterwards. He inquired of me whether I was a good +Christian. I replied that I was. I knew that he meant a Catholic, for +they call us heretics, Mr Simple. The daughter then came in without her +veil, and she was perfection; but I did not look at her, or pay her any +attention after the first salutation, I was so afraid of making the old +gentleman suspicious. He then asked what I was--what sort of officer-- +was I captain? I replied that I was not. Was I 'tenente? which means +lieutenant; I answered that I was not, again, but with an air of +contempt, as if I was something better. What was I, then? I did not know +the Spanish for boatswain, and, to tell the truth, I was ashamed of my +condition. I knew that there was an officer in Spain called corregidor, +which means a corrector in English, or one who punishes. Now I thought +that quite near enough for my purpose, and I replied that I was the +corregidor. Now, Mr Simple, a corregidor in Spain is a person of rank +and consequence, so they imagined that I must be the same, and they +appeared to be pleased. The young lady then inquired if I was of good +family--whether I was a gentleman or not. I replied that I hoped so. I +remained with them for half-an-hour more, when my segar was finished; I +then rose, and thanking the old gentleman for his civility, begged that +I might be allowed to bring him a few more segars, and took my leave. +The daughter opened the street door, and I could not refrain from taking +her hand and kissing it--" + +"Where's Mr Chucks? call the boatswain there forward," hallooed out the +lieutenant. + +"Here I am, sir," replied Mr Chucks, hastening aft, and leaving me and +his story. + +"The captain of the maintop reports the breast backstay much chafed in +the serving. Go up and examine it," said the first lieutenant. + +"Yes, sir," replied the boatswain, who immediately went up the rigging. + +"And, Mr Simple, attend to the men scraping the spots off the +quarter-deck." + +"Yes, sir," replied I; and thus our conversation was broken up. + +The weather changed that night, and we had a succession of rain and +baffling winds for six or seven days, during which I had no opportunity +of hearing the remainder of the boatswain's history. We joined the fleet +off Toulon, closed the admiral's ship, and the captain went on board to +pay his respects. When he returned, we found out, through the first +lieutenant, that we were to remain with the fleet until the arrival of +another frigate, expected in about a fortnight, and then the admiral had +promised that we should have a cruise. The second day after we had +joined, we were ordered to form part of the in-shore squadron, +consisting of two line-of-battle ships and four frigates. The French +fleet used to come out and manoeuvre within range of their batteries, +or, if they proceeded further from the shore, they took good care that +they had a leading wind to return again into port. We had been in-shore +about a week, every day running close in, and counting the French fleet +in the harbour, to see that they were all safe, and reporting it to the +admiral by signal, when one fine morning, the whole of the French +vessels were perceived to hoist their topsails, and in less than an hour +they were under weigh, and came out of the harbour. We were always +prepared for action, night and day, and, indeed, often exchanged a shot +or two with the batteries when we reconnoitred; the in-shore squadron +could not, of course, cope with the whole French fleet, and our own was +about twelve miles in the offing, but the captain of the line-of-battle +ship who commanded us, hove-to, as if in defiance, hoping to entice them +further out. This was not very easy to do, as the French knew that a +shift of wind might put it out of their power to refuse an action, which +was what they would avoid, and what we were so anxious to bring about. I +say we, speaking of the English, not of myself, for to tell the truth, I +was not so very anxious. I was not exactly afraid, but I had an +unpleasant sensation at the noise of a cannon-ball, which I had not as +yet got over. However, four of the French frigates made sail towards us, +and hove-to, when within four miles, three or four line-of-battle ships +following them as if to support them. Our captain made signal for +permission to close the enemy, which was granted, with our pennants, and +those of another frigate. We immediately made all sail, beat to +quarters, put out the fires, and opened the magazines. The French +line-of-battle ships perceiving that only two of our frigates were sent +against their four, hove-to at about the same distance from their +frigates, as our line-of-battle ships and other frigates were from us. +In the meantime our main fleet continued to work in shore under a press +of sail, and the French main fleet also gradually approached the +detached ships. The whole scene reminded me of the tournaments I had +read of; it was a challenge in the lists, only that the enemy were two +to one; a fair acknowledgment on their parts of our superiority. In +about an hour we closed so near, that the French frigates made sail and +commenced firing. We reserved our fire until within a quarter of a mile, +when we poured our broadside into the headmost frigate, exchanging with +her on opposite tacks. The _Sea-horse_, who followed, also gave her a +broadside. In this way we exchanged broadsides with the whole four, and +we had the best of it, for they could not load so fast as we could. We +were both ready again for the frigates as they passed us, but they were +not ready with their broadside for the _Sea-horse_, who followed us very +closely, so that they had two broadsides each, and we had only four in +the _Diomede_, the _Sea-horse_ not having one. Our rigging was cut up a +great deal, and we had six or seven men wounded, but none killed. The +French frigates suffered more, and their admiral perceiving that they +were cut up a good deal, made a signal of recall. In the meantime we had +both tacked, and were ranging up on the weather quarter of the sternmost +frigate: the line-of-battle ships perceiving this, ran down with the +wind, two points free, to support their frigates, and our in-shore +squadron made all sail to support us, nearly laying up for where we +were. But the wind was what is called at sea a soldier's wind, that is, +blowing so that the ships could lie either way, so as to run out or into +the harbour, and the French frigates, in obedience to their orders, made +sail for their fleet in-shore, the line-of-battle ships coming out to +support them. But our captain would not give it up, although we all +continued to near the French line-of-battle ships every minute--we ran +in with the frigates, exchanging broadsides with them as fast as we +could. One of them lost her foretopmast, and dropped astern, and we +hoped to cut her off, but the others shortened sail to support her. This +continued for about twenty minutes, when the French line-of-battle ships +were not more than a mile from us, and our own commodore had made the +signal of our recall, for he thought that we should be overpowered and +taken. But the _Sea-horse_, who saw the recall up, did not repeat it, +and our captain was determined not to see it, and ordered the signal-man +not to look that way. The action continued, two of the French frigates +were cut to pieces, and complete wrecks, when the French line-of-battle +ships commenced firing. It was then high time to be off. We each of us +poured in another broadside, and then wore round for our own squadron, +which was about four miles off, and rather to leeward, standing in to +our assistance. As we wore round, our main-topmast, which had been badly +wounded, fell over the side, and the French perceiving this, made all +sail, with the hope of capturing us; but the _Sea-horse_ remained with +us, and we threw up in the wind, and raked them until they were within +two cables' lengths of us. Then we stood on for our own ships; at last +one of the line-of-battle ships, which sailed as well as the frigates, +came abreast of us, and poured in a broadside, which brought everything +about our ears, and I thought we must be taken; but on the contrary, +although we lost several men, the captain said to the first lieutenant, +"Now, if they only wait a little longer, they are nabbed, as sure as +fate." Just at this moment, our own line-of-battle ships opened their +fire, and then the tables were turned. The French tacked, and stood in +as fast as they could, followed by the in-shore squadron, with the +exception of our ship, which was too much crippled to chase them. One of +their frigates had taken in tow the other, who had lost her top-mast, +and our squadron came up with her very fast. The English fleet were also +within three miles, standing in, and the French fleet standing out, to +the assistance of the other ships which had been engaged. I thought, and +so did everybody, that there would be a general action, but we were +disappointed; the frigate which towed the other, finding that she could +not escape, cast her off, and left her to her fate, which was to haul +down her colours to the commodore of the in-shore squadron. The chase +was continued until the whole of the French vessels were close under +their batteries, and then our fleet returned to its station with the +prize, which proved to be the _Narcisse_, of thirty-six guns, Captain Le +Pelleteon. Our captain obtained a great deal of credit for his gallant +behaviour. We had three men killed, and Robinson, the midshipman, and +ten men wounded, some of them severely. I think this action cured me of +my fear of a cannon-ball, for during the few days we remained with the +fleet, we often were fired at when we reconnoitred, but I did not care +anything for them. About the time she was expected, the frigate joined, +and we had permission to part company. But before I proceed with the +history of our cruise, I shall mention the circumstances attending a +court-martial, which took place during the time that we were with the +fleet, our captain having been recalled from the in-shore squadron to +sit as one of the members. I was the midshipman appointed to the +captain's gig, and remained on board of the admiral's ship during the +whole of the time that the court was sitting. Two seamen, one an +Englishman, and the other a Frenchman, were tried for desertion from one +of our frigates. They had left their ship about three months, when the +frigate captured a French privateer, and found them on board as part of +her crew. For the Englishman, of course, there was no defence; he +merited the punishment of death, to which he was immediately sentenced. +There may be some excuse for desertion, when we consider that the seamen +are taken into the service by force, but there could be none for +fighting against his country. But the case of the Frenchman was +different. He was born and bred in France, had been one of the crew of +the French gunboats at Cadiz, where he had been made a prisoner by the +Spaniards, and expecting his throat to be cut every day, had contrived +to escape on board of the frigate lying in the harbour, and entered into +our service, I really believe to save his life. He was nearly two years +in the frigate before he could find an opportunity of deserting from +her, and returning to France, when he joined the French privateer. +During the time that he was in the frigate, he bore an excellent +character. The greatest point against him was, that on his arrival at +Gibraltar he had been offered, and had received the bounty. When the +Englishman was asked what he had to say in his defence, he replied that +he had been pressed out of an American ship, that he was an American +born, and that he had never taken the bounty. But this was not true. The +defence of the Frenchman was considered so very good for a person in his +station of life, that I obtained a copy of it, which ran as follows:-- + +"Mr President, and Officers of the Honourable Court;--It is with the +greatest humility that I venture to address you. I shall be very brief, +nor shall I attempt to disprove the charges which have been made against +me, but confine myself to a few facts, the consideration of which will, +I trust, operate upon your feelings in mitigation of the punishment to +which I may be sentenced for my fault--a fault which proceeded, not from +any evil motive, but from an ardent love for my country. I am by birth a +Frenchman; my life has been spent in the service of France until a few +months after the revolution in Spain, when I, together with those who +composed the French squadron at Cadiz, was made a prisoner. The +hardships and cruel usage which I endured became insupportable. I +effected my escape, and after wandering about the town for two or three +days, in hourly expectation of being assassinated, the fate of too many +of my unfortunate countrymen; desperate from famine, and perceiving no +other chance of escaping from the town, I was reduced to the necessity +of offering myself as a volunteer on board of an English frigate. I +dared not, as I ought to have done, acknowledge myself to have been a +prisoner, from the dread of being delivered up to the Spaniards. During +the period that I served on board of your frigate, I confidently rely +upon the captain and the officers for my character. + +"The love of our country, although dormant for a time, will ultimately +be roused, and peculiar circumstances occurred which rendered the +feeling irresistible. I returned to my duty, and for having so done, am +I to be debarred from again returning to that country so dear to me-- +from again beholding my aged parents, who bless me in my absence--from +again embracing my brothers and sisters--to end my days upon a scaffold; +not for the crime which I did commit in entering into your service, but +for an act of duty and repentance--that of returning to my own? Allow me +to observe, that the charge against me is not for entering your service, +but for having deserted from it. For the former, not even my misery can +be brought forward but in extenuation; for the latter I have a proud +consciousness, which will, I trust, be my support in my extremity. + +"Gentlemen, I earnestly entreat you to consider my situation, and I am +sure that your generous hearts will pity me. Let that love of your +country, which now animates your breasts, and induces you to risk your +lives and your all, now plead for me. Already has British humanity saved +thousands of my countrymen from the rage of the Spaniards; let that same +humanity be extended now, and induce my judges to add one more to the +list of those who, although our nations are at war, if they are endowed +with feeling, can have but one sentiment towards their generous enemy--a +sentiment overpowering all other, that of a deep-felt gratitude."[1] + +Whatever may have been the effect of the address upon the court +individually, it appeared at the time to have none upon them as a body. +Both the men were condemned to death, and the day after the morrow was +fixed for their execution. I watched the two prisoners as they went down +the side, to be conducted on board of their own ship. The Englishman +threw himself down in the stern sheets of the boat, every minor +consideration apparently swallowed up in the thought of his approaching +end; but the Frenchman, before he sat down, observing that the seat was +a little dirty, took out his silk handkerchief, and spread it on the +seat, that he might not soil his nankeen trowsers. + +I was ordered to attend the punishment on the day appointed. The sun +shone so brightly, and the sky was so clear, the wind so gentle and +mild, that it appeared hardly possible that it was to be a day of such +awe and misery to the two poor men, or of such melancholy to the fleet +in general. I pulled up my boat with the others belonging to the ships +of the fleet, in obedience to the orders of the officer superintending, +close to the fore-chains of the ship. In about half-an-hour afterwards, +the prisoners made their appearance on the scaffold, the caps were +pulled over their eyes, and the gun fired underneath them. When the +smoke rolled away, the Englishman was swinging at the yard-arm, but the +Frenchman was not; he had made a spring when the gun fired, hoping to +break his neck at once, and put an end to his misery; but he fell on the +edge of the scaffold, where he lay. We thought that his rope had given +way, and it appeared that he did the same, for he made an enquiry, but +they returned him no answer. He was kept on the scaffold during the +whole hour that the Englishman remained suspended; his cap had been +removed, and he looked occasionally at his fellow-sufferer. When the +body was lowered down, he considered that his time was come, and +attempted to leap overboard. He was restrained and led aft, where his +reprieve was read to him and his arms were unbound. But the effect of +the shock was too much for his mind; he fell down in a swoon, and when +he recovered, his senses had left him, and I heard that he never +recovered them, but was sent home to be confined as a maniac. I thought, +and the result proved, that it was carried too far. It is not the +custom, when a man is reprieved, to tell him so, until after he is on +the scaffold, with the intention that his awful situation at the time +may make a lasting impression upon him during the remainder of his life; +but, as a foreigner, he was not aware of our customs, and the hour of +intense feeling which he underwent was too much for his reason. I must +say, that this circumstance was always a source of deep regret in the +whole fleet, and that his being a Frenchman, instead of an Englishman, +increased the feeling of commiseration. + +[Footnote 1: This is fact.--AUTHOR.] + + + + +Chapter XVII + +Mr Chucks's opinion on proper names--He finishes his Spanish tale--March +of intellect among the Warrant Officers. + + +We were all delighted when our signal was hoisted to "part company," as +we anticipated plenty of prize-money under such an enterprising captain. +We steered for the French coast, near to its junction with Spain, the +captain having orders to intercept any convoys sent to supply the French +army with stores and provisions. + +The day after we parted company with the fleet, Mr Chucks finished his +story. + +"Where was I, Mr Simple, when I left off?" said he, as we took a seat +upon the long eighteen. + +"You had just left the house after having told them that you were a +corregidor, and had kissed the lady's hand." + +"Very true. Well, Mr Simple, I did not call there for two or three days +afterwards; I did not like to go too soon, especially as I saw the young +lady every day in the Plaza. She would not speak to me, but, to make use +of their expression, 'she gave me her eyes,' and sometimes a sweet +smile. I recollect I was so busy looking at her one day, that I tripped +over my sword, and nearly fell on my nose, at which she burst out a +laughing." + +"Your sword, Mr Chucks? I thought boatswains never wore swords." + +"Mr Simple, a boatswain is an officer, and is entitled to a sword as +well as the captain, although we have been laughed out of it by a set of +midshipman monkeys. I always wore my sword at that time; but now-a-days, +a boatswain is counted as nobody, unless there is hard work to do, and +then it's Mr Chucks this, and Mr Chucks that. But I'll explain to you +how it is, Mr Simple, that we boatswains have lost so much of +consequence and dignity. The first lieutenants are made to do the +boatswain's duty now-a-days, and if they could only wind the call, they +might scratch the boatswain's name off half the ships' books in his +Majesty's service. But to go on with my yarn. On the fourth day, I +called with my handkerchief full of segars for the father, but he was at +siesta, as they called it. The old serving-woman would not let me in at +first; but I shoved a dollar between her skinny old fingers, and that +altered her note. She put her old head out, and looked round to see if +there was anybody in the street to watch us, and then she let me in and +shut the door. I walked into the room, and found myself alone with +Seraphina." + +"Seraphina!--what a fine name!" + +"No name can be too fine for a pretty girl, or a good frigate, Mr +Simple; for my part, I'm very fond of these hard names. Your Bess, and +Poll, and Sue, do very well for the Point, or Castle Rag; but in my +opinion, they degrade a lady. Don't you observe, Mr Simple, that all our +gun-brigs, a sort of vessel that will certainly d----n the inventor to +all eternity, have nothing but low common names, such as Pincher, +Thrasher, Boxer, Badger, and all that sort, which are quite good enough +for them; whereas all our dashing saucy frigates have names as long as +the main-top bowling, and hard enough to break your jaw--such as +Melpomeny, Terpsichory, Arethusy, Bacchanty--fine flourishers, as long +as their pennants which dip alongside in a calm." + +"Very true," replied I; "but do you think, then, it is the same with +family names?" + +"Most certainly, Mr Simple. When I was in good society, I rarely fell in +with such names as Potts or Bell, or Smith or Hodges; it was always Mr +Fortescue, or Mr Fitzgerald, or Mr Fitzherbert--seldom bowed, sir, to +anything under _three_ syllables." + +"Then I presume, Mr Chucks, you are not fond of your own name?" + +"There you touch me, Mr Simple; but it is quite good enough for a +boatswain," replied Mr Chucks, with a sigh. "I certainly did very wrong +to impose upon people as I did, but I've been severely punished for it-- +it has made me discontented and unhappy ever since. Dearly have I paid +for my spree; for there is nothing so miserable as to have ideas above +your station in life, Mr Simple. But I must make sail again. I was three +hours with Seraphina before her father came home, and during that time I +never was quietly at an anchor for above a minute. I was on my knees, +vowing and swearing, kissing her feet and kissing her hand, till at last +I got to her lips, working my way up as regularly as one who gets in at +the hawsehole and crawls aft to the cabin windows. She was very kind, +and she smiled, and sighed, and pushed me off, and squeezed my hand, and +was angry--frowning till I was in despair, and then making me happy +again with her melting dark eyes beaming kindly, till at last she said +that she would try to love me, and asked me whether I would marry her +and live in Spain. I replied that I would; and, indeed, I felt as if I +could, only at the time the thought occurred to me where the rhino was +to come from, for I could not live, as her father did, upon a paper +segar and a piece of melon per day. At all events, as far as words went, +it was a settled thing. When her father came home, the old servant told +him that I had just at that moment arrived, and that, his daughter was +in her own room; so she was, for she ran away as soon as she heard her +father knock. I made my bow to the old gentleman, and gave him the +segars. He was serious at first, but the sight of them put him into good +humour, and in a few minutes Donna Seraphina (they call a lady a Donna +in Spain) came in, saluting me ceremoniously, as if we had not been +kissing for the hour together. I did not remain long, as it was getting +late, so I took a glass of the old gentleman's sour wine, and walked +off, with a request from him to call again, the young lady paying me +little or no attention during the time that I remained, or at my +departure." + +"Well, Mr Chucks," observed I, "it appears to me that she was a very +deceitful young person." + +"So she was, Mr Simple; but a man in love can't see, and I'll tell you +why. If he wins the lady, he is as much in love with himself as with +her, because he is so proud of his conquest. That was my case. If I had +had my eyes, I might have seen that she who could cheat her old father +for a mere stranger, would certainly deceive him in his turn. But if +love makes a man blind, vanity, Mr Simple, makes him blinder. In short, +I was an ass." + +"Never mind, Mr Chucks, there was a good excuse for it." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I met her again and again, until I was madly in love, +and the father appeared to be aware of what was going on, and to have no +objection. However, he sent for a priest to talk with me, and I again +said that I was a good Catholic. I told him that I was in love with the +young lady, and would marry her. The father made no objection on my +promising to remain in Spain, for he would not part with his only +daughter. And there again I was guilty of deceit, first, in making a +promise I did not intend to keep, and then in pretending that I was a +Catholic. Honesty is the best policy, Mr Simple, in the long run, you +may depend upon it." + +"So my father has always told me, and I have believed him," replied I. + +"Well, sir, I am ashamed to say that I did worse; for the priest, after +the thing was settled, asked me whether I had confessed lately. I knew +what he meant, and answered that I had not. He motioned me down on my +knees; but, as I could not speak Spanish enough for that, I +mumbled-jumbled something or another, half Spanish and half English, and +ended with putting four dollars in his hand for _carita_, which means +charity. He was satisfied at the end of my confession, whatever he might +have been at the beginning, and gave me absolution, although he could +not have understood what my crimes were; but four dollars, Mr Simple, +will pay for a deal of crime in that country. And now, sir, comes the +winding up of this business. Seraphina told me that she was going to the +opera with some of her relations, and asked me if I would be there; that +the captain of the frigate, and all the other officers were going, and +that she wished me to go with her. You see, Mr Simple, although +Seraphina's father was so poor, that a mouse would have starved in his +house, still he was of good family, and connected with those who were +much better off. He was a Don himself, and had fourteen or fifteen long +names, which I forget now. I refused to go with her, as I knew that the +service would not permit a boatswain to sit in an opera-box, when the +captain and first lieutenant were there. I told her that I had promised +to go on board and look after the men while the captain went on shore; +thus, as you'll see, Mr Simple, making myself a man of consequence, only +to be more mortified in the end. After she had gone to the opera, I was +very uncomfortable: I was afraid that the captain would see her, and +take a fancy to her. I walked up and down, outside, until I was so full +of love and jealousy that I determined to go into the pit and see what +she was about. I soon discovered her in a box, with some other ladies, +and with them were my captain and first lieutenant. The captain, who +spoke the language well, was leaning over her, talking and laughing, and +she was smiling at what he said. I resolved to leave immediately, lest +she should see me and discover that I had told her a falsehood; but they +appeared so intimate that I became so jealous I could not quit the +theatre. At last she perceived me, and beckoned her hand; I looked very +angry, and left the theatre cursing like a madman. It appeared that she +pointed me out to the captain, and asked him who I was; he told her my +real situation on board, and spoke of me with contempt. She asked +whether I was not a man of family; at this the captain and first +lieutenant both burst out laughing, and said that I was a common sailor +who had been promoted to a higher rank for good behaviour--not exactly +an officer, and anything but a gentleman. In short, Mr Simple, I was +_blown upon_, and, although the captain said more than was correct, as +I learnt afterwards through the officers, still I deserved it. +Determined to know the worst, I remained outside till the opera was +over, when I saw her come out, the captain and first lieutenant walking +with the party--so that I could not speak with her. I walked to a posada +(that's an inn), and drank seven bottles of rosolio to keep myself +quiet; then I went on board, and the second lieutenant, who was +commanding officer, put me under arrest for being intoxicated. It was a +week before I was released; and you can't imagine what I suffered, Mr +Simple. At last, I obtained leave to go on shore, and I went to the +house to decide my fate. The old woman opened the door, and then calling +me a thief, slammed it in my face; as I retreated, Donna Seraphina came +to the window, and, waving her hand with a contemptuous look, said, 'Go, +and God be with you, Mr Gentleman.' I returned on board in such a rage, +that if I could have persuaded the gunner to have given me a ball +cartridge, I should have shot myself through the head. What made the +matter worse, I was laughed at by everybody in the ship, for the captain +and first lieutenant had made the story public." + +"Well, Mr Chucks," replied I, "I cannot help being sorry for you, +although you certainly deserved to be punished for your dishonesty. Was +that the end of the affair?" + +"As far as I was concerned it was, Mr Simple; but not as respected +others. The captain took my place, but without the knowledge of the +father. After all, they neither had great reason to rejoice at the +exchange." + +"How so, Mr Chucks--what do you mean?" + +"Why, Mr Simple, the captain did not make an honest woman of her, as I +would have done; and the father discovered what was going on, and one +night the captain was brought on board run through the body. We sailed +immediately for Gibraltar, and it was a long while before he got round +again: and then he had another misfortune." + +"What was that?" + +"Why he lost his boatswain, Mr Simple; for I could not bear the sight of +him--and then he lost (as you must know, not from your own knowledge, +but from that of others) a boatswain who knows his duty." + +"Every one says so, Mr Chucks. I'm sure that our captain would be very +sorry to part with you." + +"I trust that every captain has been with whom I've sailed, Mr Simple. +But that was not all he lost, Mr Simple; for the next cruise he lost his +masts; and the loss of his masts occasioned the loss of his ship, since +which he has never been trusted with another, but is laid on the shelf. +Now he never carried away a spar of any consequence during the whole +time that I was with him. A mast itself is nothing, Mr Simple--only a +piece of wood--but fit your rigging properly, and then a mast is strong +as a rock. Only ask Mr Faulkner, and he'll tell you the same; and I +never met an officer who knew better how to support a mast." + +"Did you ever hear any more of the young lady?" + +"Yes; about a year afterwards I returned there in another ship. She had +been shut up in a convent, and forced to take the veil. Oh, Mr Simple! +if you knew how I loved that girl! I have never been more than polite to +a woman since, and shall die a bachelor. You can't think how I was +capsized the other day, when I looked at the house; I have hardly +touched beef or pork since, and am in debt two quarts of rum more than +my allowance. But, Mr Simple, I have told you this in confidence, and I +trust you are too much of a gentleman to repeat it; for I cannot bear +quizzing from young midshipmen." + +I promised that I would not mention it, and I kept my word; but +circumstances which the reader will learn in the sequel have freed me +from the condition. Nobody can quiz him now. + +We gained our station off the coast of Perpignan; and as soon as we made +the land, we were most provokingly driven off by a severe gale. I am not +about to make any remarks about the gale, for one storm is so like +another; but I mention it, to account for a conversation which took +place, and with which I was very much amused. I was near to the captain +when he sent for Mr Muddle, the carpenter, who had been up to examine +the main-topsail yard, which had been reported as sprung. + +"Well, Mr Muddle," said the captain. + +"Sprung, sir, most decidedly; but I think we'll be able to _mitigate_ +it." + +"Will you be able to secure it for the present, Mr Muddle?" replied the +captain, rather sharply. + +"We'll _mitigate_ it, sir, in half an hour." + +"I wish that you would use common phrases when you speak to me, Mr +Muddle. I presume, by mitigate, you mean to say that you can secure it. +Do you mean so, sir, or do you not?" + +"Yes, sir, that is what I mean, most decidedly. I hope no offence, +Captain Savage; but I did not intend to displease you by my language." + +"Very good, Mr Muddle," replied the captain; "it's the first time that I +have spoken to you on the subject, recollect that it will be the last." + +"The first time!" replied the carpenter, who could not forget his +philosophy; "I beg your pardon, Captain Savage, you found just the same +fault with me on this quarter-deck 27,672 years ago, and--" + +"If I did, Mr Muddle," interrupted the captain, very angrily, "depend +upon it that at the same time I ordered you to go aloft, and attend to +your duty, instead of talking nonsense on the quarter-deck; and, +although, as you say, you and I cannot recollect it, if you did not obey +that order instantaneously, I also put you in confinement, and obliged +you to leave the ship as soon as she returned to port. Do you understand +me, sir?" + +"I rather think, sir," replied the carpenter, humbly touching his hat, +and walking to the main rigging, "that no such thing took place, for I +went up immediately, as I do now; and," continued the carpenter, who was +incurable, as he ascended the rigging, "as I shall again in another +27,672 years." + +"That man is incorrigible with his confounded nonsense," observed the +captain to the first lieutenant. "Every mast in the ship would go over +the side, provided he could get any one to listen to his ridiculous +theory." + +"He is not a bad carpenter, sir," replied the first lieutenant. + +"He is not," rejoined the captain; "but there is a time for all things." + +Just at this moment, the boatswain came down the rigging. + +"Well, Mr Chucks, what do you think of the yard? Must we shift it?" +inquired the captain. + +"At present, Captain Savage," replied the boatswain, "I consider it to +be in a state which may be called precarious, and not at all permanent; +but, with a little human exertion, four fathom of three-inch, and +half-a-dozen tenpenny nails, it may last, for all I know, until it is +time for it to be sprung again." + +"I do not understand you, Mr Chucks. I know no time when a yard ought to +be sprung." + +"I did not refer to our time, sir," replied the boatswain, "but to the +27,672 years of Mr Muddle, when--" + +"Go forward immediately, sir, and attend to your duty," cried the +captain, in a very angry voice; and then he said to the first +lieutenant, "I believe the warrant officers are going mad. Who ever +heard a boatswain use such language--'precarious and not at all +permanent?' His stay in the ship will become so, if he does not mind +what he is about." + +"He is a very odd character, sir," replied the first lieutenant; "but I +have no hesitation in saying that he is the best boatswain in his +majesty's service." + +"I believe so too," replied the captain; "but--well, every one has his +faults. Mr Simple, what are you about sir?" + +"I was listening to what you said," replied I, touching my hat. + +"I admire your candour, sir," replied he, "but advise you to discontinue +the practice. Walk over to leeward, sir, and attend to your duty." + +When I was on the other side of the deck, I looked round, and saw the +captain and first lieutenant both laughing. + + + + +Chapter XVIII + +I go away on service, am wounded and taken prisoner with O'Brien-- +Diamond cut diamond between the O'Briens--Get into comfortable quarters +--My first interview with Celeste. + + +And now I have to relate an event, which, young as I was at the time, +will be found to have seriously affected me in after life. How little do +we know what to-morrow may bring forth! We had regained our station, and +for some days had been standing off and on the coast, when one morning +at daybreak, we found ourselves about four miles from the town of Cette, +and a large convoy of vessels coming round a point. We made all sail in +chase, and they anchored close in shore, under a battery, which we did +not discover until it opened fire upon us. The shot struck the frigate +two or three times, for the water was smooth, and the battery nearly +level with it. The captain tacked the ship, and stood out again, until +the boats were hoisted out, and all ready to pull on shore and storm the +battery. O'Brien, who was the officer commanding the first cutter on +service, was in his boat, and I again obtained permission from him to +smuggle myself into it. + +"Now, Peter, let's see what kind of a fish you'll bring on board this +time," said he, after we had shoved off: "or may be, the fish will not +let you off quite so easy." The men in the boat all laughed at this, and +I replied, "That I must be more seriously wounded than I was last time, +to be made a prisoner." We ran on shore, amidst the fire of the +gunboats, who protected the convoy, by which we lost three men, and made +for the battery, which we took without opposition, the French +artillery-men running out as we ran in. The directions of the captain +were very positive, not to remain in the battery a minute after it was +taken, but to board the gunboats, leaving only one of the small boats, +with the armourer to spike the guns, for the captain was aware that +there were troops stationed along the coast, who might come down upon us +and beat us off. The first lieutenant, who commanded, desired O'Brien to +remain with the first cutter, and after the armourer had spiked the +guns, as officer of the boat he was to shove off immediately. O'Brien +and I remained in the battery with the armourer, the boat's crew being +ordered down to the boat, to keep her afloat, and ready to shove off at +a moment's warning. We had spiked all the guns but one, when all of a +sudden a volley of musketry was poured upon us, which killed the +armourer, and wounded me in the leg above the knee. I fell down by +O'Brien, who cried out, "By the powers! here they are, and one gun not +spiked." He jumped down, wrenched the hammer from the armourer's hand, +and seizing a nail from the bag, in a few moments he had spiked the gun. +At this time I heard the tramping of the French soldiers advancing, when +O'Brien threw away the hammer, and lifting me upon his shoulders, cried, +"Come along, Peter, my boy," and made for the boat as fast as he could; +but he was too late; he had not got half way to the boat, before he was +collared by two French soldiers, and dragged back into the battery. The +French troops then advanced, and kept up a smart fire: our cutter +escaped, and joined the other boat, who had captured the gun-boats and +convoy with little opposition. Our large boats had carronades mounted in +their bows, and soon returned the fire with round and grape, which drove +the French troops back into the battery, where they remained, popping at +our men under cover, until most of the vessels were taken out; those +which they could not man were burnt. + +In the meantime, O'Brien had been taken into the battery, with me on his +back; but as soon as he was there, he laid me gently down, saying, +"Peter, my boy, as long as you were under my charge, I'd carry you +through thick and thin; but now that you are under the charge of these +French beggars, why let them carry you. Every man his own bundle, Peter, +that's fair play, so if they think you're worth the carrying, let them +bear the weight of ye." + +"And suppose they do not, O'Brien, will you leave me here?" + +"Will I lave you, Peter! not if I can help it, my boy; but they won't +leave you, never fear them; prisoners are so scarce with them, that they +would not leave the captain's monkey, if he were taken." + +As soon as our boats were clear of their musketry, the commanding +officer of the French troops examined the guns in the battery, with the +hope of reaching them, and was very much annoyed to find that every one +of them was spiked. "He'll look sharper than a magpie before he finds a +clear touch-hole, I expect," said O'Brien, as he watched the officer. +And here I must observe, that O'Brien showed great presence of mind in +spiking the last gun; for had they had one gun to fire at our boats +towing out the prizes, they must have done a great deal of mischief to +them, and we should have lost a great many men; but in so doing, and in +the attempt to save me, he sacrificed himself, and was taken prisoner. +When the troops ceased firing, the commanding officer came up to +O'Brien, and looking at him, said, "Officer?" to which O'Brien nodded +his head. He then pointed to me--"Officer?" O'Brien nodded his head +again, at which the French troops laughed, as O'Brien told me +afterwards, because I was what they called an _enfant_, which means an +infant. I was very stiff, and faint, and could not walk. The officer who +commanded the troops left a detachment in the battery, and prepared to +return to Cette, from whence they came. O'Brien walked, and I was +carried on three muskets by six of the French soldiers--not a very +pleasant conveyance at any time, but in my state excessively painful. +However, I must say, that they were very kind to me, and put a great +coat or something under my wounded leg, for I was in an agony, and +fainted several times. At last they brought me some water to drink. O +how delicious it was! I have often thought since, when I have been in +company, where people fond of good living have smacked their lips at +their claret, that if they could only be wounded, and taste a cup of +water, they would then know what it was to feel a beverage grateful. In +about an hour and a half, which appeared to me to be five days at the +least, we arrived at the town of Cette, and I was taken up to the house +of the officer who commanded the troops, and who had often looked at me +as I was carried there from the battery, saying, "_Pauvre enfant_!" I +was put on a bed, where I again fainted away. When I came to my senses, +I found a surgeon had bandaged my leg, and that I had been undressed. +O'Brien was standing by me, and I believe that he had been crying, for +he thought that I was dead. When I looked him in the face, he said, +"Pater, you baste, how you frightened me: bad luck to me if ever I take +charge of another youngster. What did you sham dead for?" + +"I am better now, O'Brien," replied I, "how much I am indebted to you: +you have been made prisoner in trying to save me." + +"I have been made prisoner in doing my duty, in one shape or another. If +that fool of an armourer hadn't held his hammer so tight, after he was +dead, and it was of no use to him, I should have been clear enough, and +so would you have been! but, however, all this is nothing at all, Peter; +as far as I can see, the life of a man consists in getting into scrapes, +and getting out of them. By the blessing of God, we've managed the +first, and by the blessing of God we'll manage the second also; so be +smart, my honey, and get well, for although a man may escape by running +away on two legs, I never heard of a boy who hopped out of a French +prison upon one." + +I squeezed the offered hand of O'Brien, and looked round me; the surgeon +stood at one side of the bed, and the officer who commanded the troops +at the other. At the head of the bed was a little girl about twelve +years old, who held a cup in her hand, out of which something had been +poured down my throat. I looked at her, and she had such pity in her +face, which was remarkably handsome, that she appeared to me as an +angel, and I turned round as well as I could, that I might look at her +alone. She offered me the cup, which I should have refused from any one +but her, and I drank a little. Another person then came into the room, +and a conversation took place in French. + +"I wonder what they mean to do with us," said I to O'Brien. + +"Whist, hold your tongue," replied he; and then he leaned over me, and +said in a whisper, "I understand all they say; don't you recollect, I +told you that I learnt the language after I was kilt and buried in the +sand, in South America?" After a little more conversation, the officer +and the others retired, leaving nobody but the little girl and O'Brien +in the room. + +"It's a message from the governor," said O'Brien, as soon as they were +gone, "wishing the prisoners to be sent to the gaol in the citadel, to +be examined; and the officer says (and he's a real gentleman, as far as +I can judge) that you're but a baby, and badly wounded in the bargain, +and that it would be a shame not to leave you to die in peace; so I +presume that I'll part company from you very soon." + +"I hope not, O'Brien," replied I; "if you go to prison, I will go also, +for I will not leave you, who are my best friend, to remain with +strangers; I should not be half so happy, although I might have more +comforts in my present situation." + +"Pater, my boy, I am glad to see that your heart is in the right place, +as I always thought it was, or I wouldn't have taken you under my +protection. We'll go together to prison, my jewel, and I'll fish at the +bars with a bag and a long string, just by way of recreation, and to +pick up a little money to buy you all manner of nice things; and when +you get well, you shall do it yourself, mayhap you'll have better luck, +as Peter your namesake had, who was a fisherman before you. There's +twice as much room in one of the cells as there is in a midshipman's +berth, my boy; and the prison yards, where you are allowed to walk, will +make a dozen quarter-decks, and no need of touching your hat out of +respect when you go into it. When a man has been cramped up on board of +a man-of-war, where midshipmen are stowed away like pilchards in a cask, +he finds himself quite at liberty in a prison, Peter. But somehow or +another, I think we mayn't be parted yet, for I heard the officer (who +appears to be a real gentleman, and worthy to have been an Irishman +born) say to the other, that he'd ask the governor for me to stay with +you on parole, until you are well again." The little girl handed me the +lemonade, of which I drank a little, and then I felt very faint again. I +laid my head on the pillow, and O'Brien having left off talking, I was +soon in a comfortable sleep. In an hour I was awakened by the return of +the officer, who was accompanied by the surgeon. The officer addressed +O'Brien in French who shook his head as before. + +"Why don't you answer, O'Brien," said I, "since you understand him?" + +"Peter, recollect that I cannot speak a word of their lingo; then I +shall know what they say before us, and they won't mind what they say, +supposing I do not understand them." + +"But is that honest, O'Brien?" + +"Is it honest you mean? If I had a five-pound note in my pocket, and +don't choose to show it to every fellow that I meet--is that dishonest?" + +"To be sure it's not." + +"And a'n't that what the lawyers call a case in pint?" + +"Well," replied I, "if you wish it, I shall of course say nothing; but I +think that I should tell them, especially as they are so kind to us." + +During this conversation, the officer occasionally spoke to the surgeon, +at the same time eyeing us, I thought, very hard. Two other persons then +came into the room; one of them addressed O'Brien in very bad English, +saying, that he was interpreter, and would beg him to answer a few +questions. He then inquired the name of our ship, number of guns, and +how long we had been cruising. After that, the force of the English +fleet, and a great many other questions relative to them; all of which +were put in French by the person who came with him, and the answer +translated, and taken down in a book. Some of the questions O'Brien +answered correctly, to others he pleaded ignorance; and to some, he +asserted what was not true. But I did not blame him for that, as it was +his duty not to give information to the enemy. At last they asked my +name, and rank, which O'Brien told them. "Was I noble?" + +"Yes," replied O'Brien. + +"Don't say so, O'Brien," interrupted I. + +"Peter, you know nothing about it, you are grandson to a lord." + +"I know that, but still I am not noble myself, although descended from +him; therefore pray don't say so." + +"Bother! Pater, I have said it, and I won't unsay it; besides, Pater, +recollect it's a French question, and in France you would be considered +noble. At all events, it can do no harm." + +"I feel too ill to talk, O'Brien; but I wish you had not said so." + +They then inquired O'Brien's name, which he told them; his rank in the +service, and also, whether he was noble. + +"I am an O'Brien," replied he; "and pray what's the meaning of the O +before my name, if I'm not noble? However, Mr Interpreter, you may add, +that we have dropped our title because it's not convanient." The French +officer burst out into a loud laugh, which surprised us very much. The +interpreter had great difficulty in explaining what O'Brien said; but as +O'Brien told me afterwards, the answer was put down _doubtful_. + +They all left the room except the officer, who then, to our +astonishment, addressed us in good English. "Gentlemen, I have obtained +permission from the governor for you to remain in my house, until Mr +Simple is recovered. Mr O'Brien, it is necessary that I should receive +your parole of honour that you will not attempt to escape. Are you +willing to give it?" + +O'Brien was quite amazed; "Murder an' Irish," cried he; "so you speak +English, colonel. It was not very genteel of you not to say so, +considering how we've been talking our little secrets together." + +"Certainly, Mr O'Brien, not more necessary," replied the officer, +smiling, "than for you to tell me that you understood French." + +"O, bother!" cried O'Brien, "how nicely I'm caught in my own trap! +You're an Irishman, sure?" + +"I'm of Irish descent," replied the officer, "and my name, as well as +yours, is O'Brien. I was brought up in this country, not being permitted +to serve my own, and retain the religion of my forefathers. I may now be +considered as a Frenchman, retaining nothing of my original country, +except the language, which my mother taught me, and a warm feeling +towards the English wherever I meet them. But to the question, Mr +O'Brien, will you give your parole?" + +"The word of an Irishman, and the hand to boot," replied O'Brien, +shaking the colonel by the hand; "and you're more than doubly sure, for +I'll never go away and leave little Peter here; and as for carrying him +on my back, I've had enough of that already." + +"It is sufficient," replied the colonel. "Mr O'Brien, I will make you as +comfortable as I can; and when you are tired of attending your friend, +my little daughter shall take your place. You'll find her a kind little +nurse, Mr Simple." + +I could not refrain from tears at the colonel's kindness: he shook me by +the hand; and telling O'Brien that dinner was ready, he called up his +daughter, the little girl who had attended me before; and desired her to +remain in the room. "Celeste," said he, "you understand a little +English; quite enough to find out what he is in want of. Go and fetch +your work, to amuse yourself when he is asleep." Celeste went out, and +returning with her embroidery, sat down by the head of the bed: the +colonel and O'Brien then quitted the room. Celeste then commenced her +embroidery, and as her eyes were cast down upon her work, I was able to +look at her without her observing it. As I said before, she was a very +beautiful little girl; her hair was light brown, eyes very large, and +eyebrows drawn as with a pair of compasses; her nose and mouth were also +very pretty; but it was not so much her features as the expression of +her countenance, which was so beautiful, so modest, so sweet, and so +intelligent. When she smiled, which she almost always did when she +spoke, her teeth were like two rows of little pearls. + +I had not looked at her long, before she raised her eyes from her work, +and perceiving that I was looking at her, said, "You want--something-- +want drink--I speak very little English." + +"Nothing, I thank ye," replied I; "I only want to go to sleep." + +"Then--shut--your--eye," replied she smiling; and she went to the +window, and drew down the blinds to darken the room. But I could not +sleep; the remembrance of what had occurred--in a few hours wounded, and +a prisoner--the thought of my father and mother's anxiety; with the +prospect of going to a prison and close confinement, as soon as I was +recovered, passed in succession in my mind, and, together with the +actual pain of my wound, prevented me from obtaining any rest. The +little girl several times opened the curtain to ascertain whether I +slept or wanted anything, and then as softly retired. In the evening, +the surgeon called again; he felt my pulse, and directing cold +applications to my leg, which had swelled considerably, and was becoming +very painful, told Colonel O'Brien, that, although I had considerable +fever, I was doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances. + +But I shall not dwell upon my severe sufferings for a fortnight, after +which the ball was extracted; nor upon how carefully I was watched by +O'Brien, the colonel, and little Celeste, during my peevishness and +irritation, arising from pain and fever. I feel grateful to them, but +partiqularly [sic] to Celeste, who seldom quitted me for more than +half-an-hour, and, as I gradually recovered, tried all she could to +amuse me. + + + + +Chapter XIX + +We remove to very unpleasant quarters--Birds of a feather won't always +flock together--O'Brien cuts a cutter midshipman, and gets a taste of +French steel--Altogether _flat_ work--A walk into the interior. + + +As soon as I was well enough to attend to my little nurse, we became +very intimate, as might be expected. Our chief employment was teaching +each other French and English. Having the advantage of me in knowing a +little before we met, and also being much quicker of apprehension, she +very soon began to speak English fluently, long before I could make out +a short sentence in French. However, as it was our chief employment, and +both were anxious to communicate with each other, I learnt it very fast. +In five weeks I was out of bed, and could limp about the room; and +before two months were over, I was quite recovered. The colonel, +however, would not report me to the governor; I remained on a sofa +during the day, but at dusk I stole out of the house, and walked about +with Celeste. I never passed such a happy time as the last fortnight; +the only drawback was the remembrance that I should soon have to +exchange it for a prison. I was more easy about my father and mother, as +O'Brien had written to them, assuring them that I was doing well; and +besides, a few days after our capture, the frigate had run in, and sent +a flag of truce to inquire if we were alive or made prisoners; at the +same time Captain Savage sent on shore all our clothes, and two hundred +dollars in cash for our use. I knew that even if O'Brien's letter did +not reach them, they were sure to hear from Captain Savage that I was +doing well. But the idea of parting with Celeste, towards whom I felt +such gratitude and affection, was most painful; and when I talked about +it, poor Celeste would cry so much, that I could not help joining her, +although I kissed away her tears. At the end of twelve weeks, the +surgeon could no longer withhold his report, and we were ordered to be +ready in two days to march to Toulon, where we were to join another +party of prisoners, to proceed with them into the interior. I must pass +over our parting, which the reader may imagine was very painful. I +promised to write to Celeste, and she promised that she would answer my +letters, if it were permitted. We shook hands with Colonel O'Brien, +thanking him for his kindness, and, much to his regret, we were taken in +charge by two French cuirassiers, who were waiting at the door. As we +preferred being continued on parole until our arrival at Toulon, the +soldiers were not at all particular about watching us; and we set off on +horseback, O'Brien and I going first, and the French cuirassiers +following us in the rear. + +We trotted or walked along the road very comfortably. The weather was +delightful: we were in high spirits, and almost forgot that we were +prisoners. The cuirassiers followed us at a distance of twenty yards, +conversing with each other, and O'Brien observed that it was amazingly +genteel of the French governor to provide us with two servants in such +handsome liveries. The evening of the second day we arrived at Toulon, +and as soon as we entered the gates, we were delivered into the custody +of an officer with a very sinister cast of countenance, who, after some +conversation with the cuirassiers, told us in a surly tone that our +parole was at an end, and gave us in charge of a corporal's guard, with +directions to conduct us to the prison near the Arsenal. We presented +the cuirassiers with four dollars each, for their civility, and were +then hurried away to our place of captivity. I observed to O'Brien, that +I was afraid that we must now bid farewell to anything like pleasure. +"You're right there, Peter," replied he: "but there's a certain jewel +called Hope, that somebody found at the bottom of his chest, when it was +clean empty, and so we must not lose sight of it, but try and escape as +soon as we can; but the less we talk about it the better." In a few +minutes we arrived at our destination: the door was opened, ourselves +and our bundles (for we had only selected a few things for our march, +the colonel promising to forward the remainder as soon as we wrote to +inform him to which depot we were consigned), were rudely shoved in; and +as the doors again closed, and the heavy bolts were shot, I felt a +creeping, chilly sensation pass through my whole body. + +As soon as we could see--for although the prison was not very dark, yet +so suddenly thrown in, after the glare of a bright sunshiny day, at +first we could distinguish nothing--we found ourselves in company with +about thirty English sailors. Most of them were sitting down on the +pavement, or on boxes, or bundles containing their clothes that they had +secured, conversing with each other, or playing at cards or draughts. +Our entrance appeared to excite little attention; after having raised +their eyes to indulge their curiosity, they continued their pursuits. I +have often thought what a feeling of selfishness appeared to pervade the +whole of them. At the time I was shocked, as I expected immediate +sympathy and commiseration; but afterwards I was not surprised. Many of +these poor fellows had been months in the prison, and a short +confinement will produce that indifference to the misfortunes of others, +which I then observed. Indeed, one man, who was playing at cards, looked +up for a moment as we came in, and cried out, "Hurrah, my lads! the more +the merrier," as if he really was pleased to find that there were others +who were as unfortunate as himself. We stood looking at the groups for +about ten minutes, when O'Brien observed, "that we might as well come to +an anchor, foul ground being better than no bottom;" so we sat down in a +corner, upon our bundles, where we remained for more than an hour, +surveying the scene, without speaking a word to each other. I could not +speak--I felt so very miserable. I thought of my father and mother in +England, of my captain and my messmates, who were sailing about so +happily in the frigate, of the kind Colonel O'Brien, and dear little +Celeste, and the tears trickled down my cheeks as these scenes of former +happiness passed through my mind in quick succession. O'Brien did not +speak but once, and then he only said, "This is dull work, Peter." + +We had been in the prison about two hours, when a lad in a very greasy, +ragged jacket, with a pale emaciated face, came up to us, and said, "I +perceive by your uniforms that you are both officers, as well as +myself." + +O'Brien stared at him for a little while, and then answered, "Upon my +soul and honour, then, you've the advantage of us, for it's more than I +could perceive in you; but I'll take your word for it. Pray what ship +may have had the misfortune of losing such a credit to the service?" + +"Why, I belonged to the _Snapper_ cutter," replied the young lad; "I was +taken in a prize, which the commanding officer had given in my charge to +take to Gibraltar: but they won't believe that I'm an officer. I have +applied for officer's allowance and rations, and they won't give them to +me." + +"Well, but they know that we are officers," replied O'Brien; "why do +they shove us in here, with the common seamen?" + +"I suppose you are only put in here for the present," replied the +cutter's midshipman; "but why I cannot tell." + +Nor could we, until afterwards, when we found out, as our narrative will +show, that the officer who received us from the cuirassiers had once +quarrelled with Colonel O'Brien, who first pulled his nose, and +afterwards ran him through the body. Being told by the cuirassiers that +we were much esteemed by Colonel O'Brien, he resolved to annoy us as +much as he could; and when he sent up the document announcing our +arrival, he left out the word "Officers," and put us in confinement with +the common seamen. "It's very hard upon me not to have my regular +allowance as an officer," continued the midshipman. "They only give me a +black loaf and three sous a day. If I had had my best uniform on, they +never would have disputed my being an officer; but the scoundrels who +retook the prize stole all my traps, and I have nothing but this old +jacket." + +"Why, then," replied O'Brien, "you'll know the value of dress for the +future. You cutter and gun-brig midshipmen go about in such a dirty +state, that you are hardly acknowledged by us who belong to frigates to +be officers, much less gentlemen. You look so dirty, and so slovenly +when we pass you in the dockyard, that we give you a wide berth; how +then can you suppose strangers to believe that you are either officers +or gentlemen? Upon my conscience, I absolve the Frenchmen from all +prejudice, for, as to, your being an officer, we, as Englishmen have +nothing but your bare word for it." + +"Well, it's very hard," replied the lad, "to be attacked this way by a +brother officer; your coat will be as shabby as mine, before you have +been here long." + +"That's very true, my darling," returned O'Brien: "but at least I shall +have the pleasant reflection that I came in as a gentleman, although I +may not exactly go out under the same appearance. Good night, and +pleasant dreams to you!" I thought O'Brien rather cross in speaking in +such a way, but he was himself always as remarkably neat and well +dressed, as he was handsome and well made. + +Fortunately we were not destined to remain long in this detestable hole. +After a night of misery, during which we remained sitting on our +bundles, and sleeping how we could, leaning with our backs against the +damp wall, we were roused, at daybreak by the unbarring of the prison +doors, followed up with an order to go into the prison yard. We were +huddled out like a flock of sheep, by a file of soldiers with loaded +muskets; and, as we went into the yard, were ranged two and two. The +same officer who ordered us into prison, commanded the detachment of +soldiers who had us in charge. O'Brien stepped out of the ranks, and, +addressing them, stated that we were officers, and had no right to be +treated like common sailors. The French officer replied, that he had +better information, and that we wore coats which did not belong to us; +upon which O'Brien was in a great rage, calling the officer a liar, and +demanding satisfaction for the insult, appealing to the French soldiers, +and stating, that Colonel O'Brien, who was at Cette, was his countryman, +and had received him for two months into his house upon parole, which +was quite sufficient to establish his being an officer. The French +soldiers appeared to side with O'Brien after they had heard this +explanation, stating that no common English sailor could speak such good +French, and that they were present when we were sent in on parole, and +they asked the officer whether he intended to give satisfaction. The +officer stormed, and drawing his sword out of the scabbard, struck +O'Brien with the flat of the blade, looking at him with contempt, and +ordering him into the ranks. I could not help observing that, during +this scene, the men-of-war sailors who were among the prisoners, were +very indignant, while, on the contrary, those captured in merchant +vessels appeared to be pleased with the insult offered to O'Brien. One +of the French soldiers then made a sarcastic remark, that the French +officer did not much like the name of O'Brien. This so enraged the +officer, that he flew at O'Brien, pushed him back into the ranks, and +taking out a pistol, threatened to shoot him through the head. I must do +the justice to the French soldiers, that they all cried out "Shame!" +They did not appear to have the same discipline, or the same respect for +an officer, as the soldiers have in our service, or they would not have +been so free in their language; yet, at the same time, they obeyed all +his orders on service very implicitly. + +When O'Brien returned to the ranks, he looked defiance at the officer, +telling him, "That he would pocket the affront very carefully, as he +intended to bring it out again upon a future and more suitable +occasion." We were then marched out in ranks, two and two, being met at +the street by two drummers, and a crowd of people, who had gathered to +witness our departure. The drums beat, and away we went. The officer who +had charge of us mounted a small horse, galloping up and down from one +end of the ranks to the other, with his sword drawn, bullying, swearing, +and striking with the flat of the blade at any one of the prisoners who +was not in his proper place. When we were close to the gates, we were +joined by another detachment of prisoners: we were then ordered to halt, +and were informed, through an interpreter, that any one attempting to +escape would immediately be shot, after which information we once more +proceeded on our route. + +Nothing remarkable occurred during our first day's march, except perhaps +a curious conversation between O'Brien and one of the French soldiers, +in which they disputed about the comparative bravery of the two nations. +O'Brien, in his argument, told the Frenchman that his countrymen could +not stand a charge of English bayonets. The Frenchman replied that there +was no doubt but the French were quite as brave as the English--even +more so; and that, as for not standing the charge of bayonets, it was +not because they were less brave; but the fact was, that they were most +excessively _ticklish_. We had black bread and sour wine served out to +us this day, when we halted to refresh. O'Brien persuaded a soldier to +purchase something for us more eatable; but the French officer heard of +it, and was very angry, ordering the soldier to the rear. + + + + +Chapter XX + +O'Brien fights a duel with a French officer, and proves that the great +art of fencing is knowing nothing about it--We arrive at our new +quarters, which we find very secure. + + +At night we arrived at a small town, the name of which I forget. Here we +were all put into an old church for the night, and a very bad night we +passed. They did not even give us a little straw to lie down upon: the +roof of the church had partly fallen in, and the moon shone through very +brightly. This was some comfort; for to have been shut up in the dark, +seventy-five in number, would have been very miserable. We were afraid +to lie down anywhere, as, like all ruined buildings in France, the +ground was covered with filth, and the smell was shocking. O'Brien was +very thoughtful, and would hardly answer any question that I put to him; +it was evident that he was brooding over the affront which he had +received from the French officer. At daybreak, the door of the church +was again opened by the French soldiers, and we were conducted to the +square of the town, where we found the troops quartered, drawn up with +their officers, to receive us from the detachment who had escorted us +from Toulon. We were very much pleased with this, as we knew that we +should be forwarded by another detachment, and thus be rid of the brutal +officer who had hitherto had charge of the prisoners. But we were rid of +him in another way. As the French officers walked along our ranks to +look at us, I perceived among them a captain, whom we had known very +intimately when we were living at Cette with Colonel O'Brien. I cried +out his name immediately; he turned round, and seeing O'Brien and me, he +came up to us, shaking us by the hand, and expressing his surprise at +finding us in such a situation. O'Brien explained to him how we had been +treated, at which he expressed his indignation, as did the other +officers who had collected round us. The major who commanded the troops +in the town turned to the French officer (he was only a lieutenant) who +had conducted us from Toulon, and demanded of him his reason for +behaving to us in such an unworthy manner. He denied having treated us +ill, and said that he had been informed that we had put on officers' +dresses which did not belong to us. At this O'Brien declared that he was +a liar, and a cowardly _foutre_, that he had struck him with the back of +his sabre, which he would not have dared do if he had not been a +prisoner; adding, that all he requested was satisfaction for the insult +offered to him, and appealed to the officers whether, if it were +refused, the lieutenant's epaulets ought not to be cut off his +shoulders. The major commandant and the officers retired to consult, +and, after a few minutes, they agreed that the lieutenant was bound to +give the satisfaction required. The lieutenant replied that he was +ready; but, at the same time, did not appear to be very willing. The +prisoners were left in charge of the soldiers, under a junior officer, +while the others, accompanied by O'Brien, myself, and the lieutenant, +walked to a short distance outside the town. As we proceeded there, I +asked O'Brien with what weapons they would fight. + +"I take it for granted," replied he, "that it will be with the small +sword." + +"But," said I, "do you know anything about fencing?" + +"Devil a bit, Peter; but that's all in my favour." + +"How can that be?" replied I. + +"I'll tell you, Peter. If one man fences well, and another is but an +indifferent hand at it, it is clear that the first will run the other +through the body; but, if the other knows nothing at all about it, why +then, Peter, the case is not quite so clear: because the good fencer is +almost as much puzzled by your ignorance as you are by his skill, and +you become on more equal terms. Now, Peter, I've made up my mind that +I'll run that fellow through the body, and so I will, as sure as I am an +O'Brien." + +"Well, I hope you will; but pray do not be too sure." + +"It's feeling sure that will make me able to do it, Peter. By the blood +of the O'Briens! didn't he slap me with his sword, as if I were a clown +in the pantomime. Peter, I'll kill the harlequin scoundrel, and my +word's as good as my bond!" + +By this time we had arrived at the ground. The French lieutenant +stripped to his shirt and trousers; O'Brien did the same, kicking his +boots off, and standing upon the wet grass in his stockings. The swords +were measured, and handed to them; they took their distance, and set to. +I must say, that I was breathless with anxiety; the idea of losing +O'Brien struck me with grief and terror. I then felt the value of all +his kindness to me, and would have taken his place, and have been run +through the body, rather than he should have been hurt. At first, +O'Brien put himself in the correct attitude of defence, in imitation of +the lieutenant, but this was for a very few seconds; he suddenly made a +spring, and rushed on to his adversary, stabbing at him with a velocity +quite astonishing, the lieutenant parrying in his defence, until at last +he had an opportunity of lungeing at O'Brien. O'Brien, who no longer +kept his left arm raised in equipoise, caught the sword of the +lieutenant at within six inches of the point, and directing it under his +left arm, as he rushed in, passed his own through the lieutenant's body. +It was all over in less than a minute--the lieutenant did not live half +an hour afterwards. The French officers were very much surprised at the +result, for they perceived at once that O'Brien knew nothing of fencing. +O'Brien gathered a tuft of grass, wiped the sword, which he presented to +the officer to whom it belonged, and thanking the major and the whole of +them for their impartiality and gentlemanlike conduct, led the way to +the square, where he again took his station in the ranks of the +prisoners. + +Shortly after, the major commandant came up to us, and asked whether we +would accept of our parole, as, in that case, we might travel as we +pleased. We consented, with many thanks for his civility and kindness; +but I could not help thinking at the time, that the French officers were +a little mortified at O'Brien's success, although they were too +honourable to express the feeling. O'Brien told me, after we had quitted +the town, that had it not been for the handsome conduct of the officers, +he would not have accepted our parole, as he felt convinced that we +could have easily made our escape. We talked over the matter a long +while, and at last agreed that there would be a better chance of success +by and by, when more closely guarded, than there would be now, under +consideration of all circumstances, as it required previously concerted +arrangements to get out of the country. + +I had almost forgotten to say, that on our return after the duel the +cutter's midshipman called out to O'Brien, requesting him to state to +the commandant that he was also an officer; but O'Brien replied, that +there was no evidence for it but his bare word. If he was an officer he +must prove it himself, as everything in his appearance flatly +contradicted his assertion. + +"It's very hard," replied the midshipman, "that because my jacket's a +little tarry or so I must lose my rank." + +"My dear fellow," replied O'Brien, "it's not because your jacket's a +little tarry; it is because what the Frenchmen call your _tout ensemble_ +is quite disgraceful in an officer. Look at your face in the first +puddle, and you'll find that it would dirty the water you look into. +Look at your shoulders above your ears, and your back with a bow like a +_kink_ in a cable. Your trowsers, sir, you have pulled your legs too far +through, showing a foot and a half of worsted stockings. In short, look +at yourself altogether, and then tell me, provided you be an officer, +whether, from respect to the service, it would not be my duty to +contradict it. It goes against my conscience, my dear fellow; but +recollect that when we arrive at the depot, you will be able to prove +it, so it's only waiting a little while, until the captains will pass +their word for you, which is more than I will." + +"Well, it's very hard," replied the midshipman, "that I must go on +eating this black rye bread; and very unkind of you." + +"It's very kind of me, you spalpeen of the Snapper. Prison will be a +paradise to you, when you get into good commons. How you'll relish your +grub by-and-by! So now shut your pan, or by the tail of Jonah's whale, +I'll swear you're a Spaniard." + +I could not help thinking that O'Brien was very severe upon the poor +lad, and I expostulated with him afterwards. He replied, "Peter, if, as +a cutter's midshipman, he is a bit of an officer, the devil a bit is he +of a gentleman, either born or bred: and I'm not bound to bail every +blackguard-looking chap that I meet. By the head of St Peter, I would +blush to be seen in his company, if I were in the wildest bog in +Ireland, with nothing but an old crow as spectator." + +We were now again permitted to be on our parole, and received every +attention and kindness from the different officers who commanded the +detachments which passed the prisoners from one town to another. In a +few days we arrived at Montpelier, where we had orders to remain a short +time until directions were received from Government as to the depots for +prisoners to which we were to be sent. At this delightful town, we had +unlimited parole, not even a gendarme accompanying us. We lived at the +table d'hote, were permitted to walk about where we pleased, and amused +ourselves every evening at the theatre. During our stay there we wrote +to Colonel O'Brien at Cette, thanking him for his kindness, and +narrating what had occurred since we parted. I also wrote to Celeste, +inclosing my letter unsealed in the one to Colonel O'Brien. I told her +the history of O'Brien's duel, and all I could think would interest her; +how sorry I was to have parted from her; that I never would forget her; +and trusted that some day, as she was only half a Frenchwoman, we should +meet again. Before we left Montpelier, we had the pleasure of receiving +answers to our letters: the colonel's letters were very kind, +particularly the one to me, in which he called me his dear boy, and +hoped that I should soon rejoin my friends, and prove an ornament to my +country. In his letter to O'Brien, he requested him not to run me into +useless danger--to recollect that I was not so well able to undergo +extreme hardship. I have no doubt but that this caution referred to +O'Brien's intention to escape from prison, which he had not concealed +from the colonel, and the probability that I would be a partner in the +attempt. The answer from Celeste was written in English; but she must +have had assistance from her father, or she could not have succeeded so +well. It was like herself, very kind and affectionate; and also ended +with wishing me a speedy return to my friends, who must (she said) be so +fond of me, that she despaired of ever seeing me more, but that she +consoled herself as well as she could with the assurance that I should +be happy. I forgot to say, that Colonel O'Brien, in his letter to me, +stated that he expected immediate orders to leave Cette, and take the +command of some military post in the interior, or join the army, but +which, he could not tell; that they had packed up everything, and he was +afraid that our correspondence must cease, as he could not state to what +place we should direct our letters. I could not help thinking at the +time, that it was a delicate way of pointing out to us that it was not +right that he should correspond with us in our relative situations; but +still, I was sure that he was about to leave Cette, for he never would +have made use of a subterfuge. I must here acquaint the reader with a +circumstance which I forgot to mention, which was that when Captain +Savage sent in a flag of truce with our clothes and money, I thought +that it was but justice to O'Brien that they should know on board of the +frigate the gallant manner in which he had behaved. I knew that he would +never tell himself, so, ill as I was at the time, I sent for Colonel +O'Brien, and requested him to write down my statement of the affair, in +which I mentioned how O'Brien had spiked the last gun, and had been +taken prisoner by so doing, together with his attempting to save me. +When the colonel had written all down, I requested that he would send +for the major, who first entered the fort with the troops, and translate +it to him in French. This he did in my presence, and the major declared +every word to be true. "Will he attest it, colonel, as it may be of +great service to O'Brien?" The major immediately assented. Colonel +O'Brien then enclosed my letter, with a short note from himself, to +Captain Savage, paying him a compliment, and assuring him that his +gallant young officers should be treated with every attention, and all +the kindness which the rules of war would admit of. O'Brien never knew +that I had sent that letter, as the colonel, at my request, kept the +secret. + +In ten days we received an order to march on the following morning. The +sailors, among whom was our poor friend the midshipman of the Snapper +cutter, were ordered to Verdun; O'Brien and I, with eight masters of +merchant vessels, who joined us at Montpelier, were directed by the +Government to be sent to Givet, a fortified town in the department of +Ardennes. But, at the same time, orders arrived from Government to treat +the prisoners with great strictness, and not to allow any parole; the +reason of this, we were informed, was that accounts had been sent to +Government of the death of the French officer in the duel with O'Brien, +and they had expressed their dissatisfaction at its having been +permitted. Indeed, I very much doubt whether it would have been +permitted in our country, but the French officers are almost +romantically chivalrous in their ideas of honour; in fact, as enemies, I +have always considered them as worthy antagonists to the English, and +they appear more respectable in themselves, and more demanding our +goodwill in that situation, than they do when we meet them as friends, +and are acquainted with the other points of their character, which +lessen them in our estimation. + +I shall not dwell upon a march of three weeks, during which we +alternately received kind or unhandsome treatment, according to the +dispositions of those who had us in charge; but I must observe, that it +was invariably the case, that officers who were gentlemen by birth +treated us with consideration, while those who had sprung from nothing +during the Revolution, were harsh, and sometimes even brutal. It was +exactly four months from the time of our capture that we arrived at our +destined prison at Givet. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, as he looked hastily at the fortifications, and +the river which divided the two towns, "I see no reason, either English +or French, that we should not eat our Christmas dinner in England. I've +a bird's eye view of the outside, and now, have only to find out +where-abouts we may be in the inside." + +I must say that, when I looked at the ditches and high ramparts, I had a +different opinion; so had a gendarme who was walking by our side, and +who had observed O'Brien's scrutiny, and who quietly said to him in +French, "_Vous le croyez possible!_" + +"Everything is possible to a brave man--the French armies have proved +that," answered O'Brien. + +"You are right," replied the gendarme, pleased with the compliment to +his nation; "I wish you success, you will deserve it; but--" and he +shook his head. + +"If I could but obtain a plan of the fortress," said O'Brien, "I would +give five Napoleons for one," and he looked at the gendarme. + +"I cannot see any objection to an officer, although a prisoner, studying +fortification," replied the gendarme. "In two hours you will be within +the walls; and now I recollect, in the map of the two towns, the +fortress is laid down sufficiently accurately to give you an idea of it. +But we have conversed too long." So saying, the gendarme dropped into +the rear. + +In a quarter of an hour, we arrived at the Place d'Armes, where we were +met, as usual, by another detachment of troops, and drummers, who +paraded us through the town previous to our being drawn up before the +governor's house. This, I ought to have observed, was, by order of +Government, done at every town we passed through; it was very +contemptible, but prisoners were so scarce, that they made all the +display of us that they could. As we stopped at the governor's house, +the gendarme, who had left us in the square, made a sign to O'Brien, as +much as to say, I have it. O'Brien took out five Napoleons, which he +wrapped in paper, and held in his hand. In a minute or two, the gendarme +came up and presented O'Brien with an old silk handkerchief, saying, +"_Votre mouchoir, monsieur_." + +"_Merci,"_ replied O'Brien, putting the handkerchief which contained the +map into his pocket, "_voici a boire, mon ami_;" and he slipped the +paper with the five Napoleons into the hand of the gendarme, who +immediately retreated. + +This was very fortunate for us, as we afterwards discovered that a mark +had been put against O'Brien's and my name, not to allow parole or +permission to leave the fortress, even under surveillance. Indeed, even +if it had not been so, we never should have obtained it, as the +lieutenant killed by O'Brien was nearly related to the commandant of the +fortress, who was as much a _mauvais sujet_ as his kinsman. Having +waited the usual hour before the governor's house, to answer to our +muster-roll, and to be stared at, we were dismissed; and in a few +minutes, found ourselves shut up in one of the strongest fortresses in +France. + + + + +Chapter XXI + +O'Brien receives his commission as lieutenant, and then we take French +leave of Givet. + + +If I doubted the practicability of escape when I examined the exterior, +when we were ushered into the interior of the fortress, I felt that it +was impossible, and I stated my opinion to O'Brien. We were conducted +into a yard surrounded by a high wall; the buildings appropriated for +the prisoners were built with _lean-to_ roofs on one side, and at each +side of the square was a sentry looking down upon us. It was very much +like the dens which they now build for bears, only so much larger. +O'Brien answered me with a "Pish! Peter, it's the very security of the +place which will enable us to get out of it. But don't talk, as there +are always spies about who understand English." + +We were shown into a room allotted to six of us; our baggage was +examined, and then delivered over to us. "Better and better, Peter," +observed O'Brien, "they've not found it out!" + +"What?" inquired I. + +"Oh, only a little selection of articles, which might be useful to us +by-and-by." + +He then showed me what I never before was aware of: that he had a false +bottom to his trunk; but it was papered over like the rest, and very +ingeniously concealed. "And what is there, O'Brien?" inquired I. + +"Never mind; I had them made at Montpelier. You'll see by-and-by." + +The others, who were lodged in the same room, then came in, and after +staying a quarter of an hour, went away at the sound of the dinner-bell. +"Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "I must get rid of my load. Turn the key." + +O'Brien then undressed himself, and when he threw off his shirt and +drawers, showed me a rope of silk, with a knot at every two feet, about +half-an-inch in size, wound round and round his body. There were about +sixty feet of it altogether. As I unwound it, he, turning round and +round, observed, "Peter, I've worn this rope ever since I left +Montpelier, and you've no idea of the pain I have suffered; but we must +go to England, that's decided upon." + +When I looked at O'Brien, as the rope was wound off, I could easily +imagine that he had really been in great pain; in several places his +flesh was quite raw from the continual friction, and after it was all +unwound, and he had put on his clothes, he fainted away. I was very much +alarmed, but I recollected to put the rope into the trunk, and take out +the key, before I called for assistance. He soon came to, and on being +asked what was the matter, said that he was subject to fits from his +infancy. He looked earnestly at me, and I showed him the key, which was +sufficient. + +For some days O'Brien, who really was not very well, kept to his room. +During this time, he often examined the map given him by the gendarme. +One day he said to me, "Peter, can you swim?" + +"No," replied I; "but never mind that." + +"But I must mind it, Peter; for observe, we shall have to cross the +river Meuse, and boats are not always to be had. You observe, that this +fortress is washed by the river on one side: and as it is the strongest +side, it is the least guarded--we must escape by it. I can see my way +clear enough till we get to the second rampart on the river, but when we +drop into the river, if you cannot swim, I must contrive to hold you up, +somehow or another." + +"Are you then determined to escape, O'Brien? I cannot perceive how we +are even to get up this wall, with four sentries staring us in the +face." + +"Never do you mind that, Peter, mind your own business; and first tell +me, do you intend to try your luck with me?" + +"Yes," replied I, "most certainly; if you have sufficient confidence in +me to take me as your companion." + +"To tell you the truth, Peter, I would not give a farthing to escape +without you. We were taken together, and, please God, we'll take +ourselves off together; but that must not be for this month; our +greatest help will be the dark nights and foul weather." + +The prison was by all accounts very different from Verdun and some +others. We had no parole, and but little communication with the +townspeople. Some were permitted to come in and supply us with various +articles; but their baskets were searched to see that they contained +nothing that might lead to an escape on the part of the prisoners. +Without the precautions that O'Brien had taken, any attempt would have +been useless. Still, O'Brien, as soon as he left his room, did obtain +several little articles--especially balls of twine--for one of the +amusements of the prisoners was flying kites. This, however, was put a +stop to, in consequence of one of the strings, whether purposely or +not, I cannot say, catching the lock of the musket carried by one of +the sentries who looked down upon us, and twitching it out of his hand; +after which an order was given by the commandant for no kites to be +permitted. This was fortunate for us, as O'Brien, by degrees, +purchased all the twine belonging to the other prisoners; and, as we +were more than three hundred in number, it amounted to sufficient to +enable him, by stealth, to lay it up into very strong cord, or rather, +into a sort of square plait, known only to sailors. "Now, Peter," said +he one day, "I want nothing more than an umbrella for you." + +"Why an umbrella for me?" + +"To keep you from being drowned with too much water, that's all." + +"Rain won't drown me." + +"No, no, Peter; but buy a new one as soon as you can." + +I did so. O'Brien boiled up a quantity of bees' wax and oil, and gave it +several coats of this preparation. He then put it carefully away in the +ticking of his bed. I asked him whether he intended to make known his +plan to any of the other prisoners; he replied in the negative, saying, +that there were so many of them who could not be trusted, that he +would trust no one. We had been now about two months in Givet, when a +Steel's List was sent to a lieutenant, who was confined there. The +lieutenant came up to O'Brien, and asked him his Christian name. + +"Terence, to be sure," replied O'Brien. + +"Then," answered the lieutenant, "I may congratulate you on your +promotion, for here you are upon the list of August." + +"Sure there must be some trifling mistake; let me look at it. Terence +O'Brien, sure enough; but now the question is, has any other fellow +robbed me of my name and promotion at the same time? Bother, what can it +mane? I won't belave it--not a word of it. I've no more interest than a +dog who drags cats'-meat." + +"Really, O'Brien," observed I, "I cannot see why you should not be made; +I am sure you deserve your promotion for your conduct when you were +taken prisoner." + +"And what did I do then, you simple Peter, but put you on my back as the +men do their hammocks when they are piped down; but, barring all claim, +how could any one know what took place in the battery, except you, and +I, and the armourer, who lay dead? So explain that, Peter, if you can." + +"I think I can," replied I, after the lieutenant had left us. And I then +told O'Brien how I had written to Captain Savage, and had had the fact +attested by the major who had made us prisoners. + +"Well, Peter," said O'Brien, after a pause, "there's a fable about a +lion and a mouse. If, by your means, I have obtained my promotion, why +then the mouse is a finer baste than the lion; but instead of being +happy, I shall now be miserable until the truth is ascertained one way +or the other, and that's another reason why I must set off to England as +fast as I can." + +For a few days after this O'Brien was very uneasy; but fortunately +letters arrived by that time; one to me from my father, in which he +requested me to draw for whatever money I might require, saying that the +whole family would retrench in every way to give me all the comfort +which might be obtained in my unfortunate situation. I wept at his +kindness, and more than ever longed to throw myself in his arms, and +thank him. He also told me that my uncle William was dead, and that +there was only one between him and the title, but that my grandfather +was in good health, and had been very kind to him lately. My mother was +much afflicted at my having been made a prisoner, and requested I would +write as often as I could. O'Brien's letter was from Captain Savage; the +frigate had been sent home with despatches, and O'Brien's conduct +represented to the Admiralty, which had, in consequence, promoted him to +the rank of lieutenant. O'Brien came to me with the letter, his +countenance radiant with joy as he put it into my hands. In return I put +mine into his, and he read it over. + +"Peter, my boy, I'm under great obligations to you. When you were +wounded and feverish, you thought of me at a time when you had quite +enough to think of yourself; but I never thank in words. I see your +uncle William is dead. How many more uncles have you?" + +"My uncle John, who is married, and has already two daughters." + +"Blessings on him; may he stick to the female line of business! Peter, +my boy, you shall be a lord before you die." + +"Nonsense, O'Brien; I have no chance. Don't put such foolish ideas in my +head." + +"What chance had I of being a lieutenant, and am I not one? Well, Peter, +you've helped to make a lieutenant of me, but I'll make a _man_ of you, +and that's better. Peter, I perceive, with all your simplicity, that +you're not over and above simple, and that, with all your asking for +advice, you can think and act for yourself on an emergency. Now, Peter, +these are talents that must not be thrown away in this cursed hole, and +therefore, my boy, prepare yourself to quit this place in a week, wind +and weather permitting; that is to say, not fair wind and weather, but +the fouler the better. Will you be ready at any hour of any night that I +call you up?" + +"Yes, O'Brien, I will, and do my best." + +"No man can do much more that ever I heard of. But, Peter, do me one +favour, as I am really a lieutenant, just touch your hat to me only +once, that's all; but I wish the compliment, just to see how it looks." + +"Lieutenant O'Brien," said I, touching my hat, "have you any further +orders?" + +"Yes, sir," replied he; "that you never presume to touch your hat to me +again, unless we sail together, and then that's a different sort of +thing." + +About a week afterwards, O'Brien came to me, and said, "The new moon's +quartered in with foul weather; if it holds, prepare for a start. I have +put what is necessary in your little haversack; it may be to-night. Go +to bed now, and sleep for a week if you can, for you'll get but little +sleep, if we succeed, for the week to come." + +This was about eight o'clock. I went to bed, and about twelve I was +roused by O'Brien, who told me to dress myself carefully, and come down +to him in the yard. I did so without disturbing any body, and found the +night as dark as pitch (it was then November), and raining in torrents; +the wind was high, howling round the yard, and sweeping in the rain in +every direction as it eddied to and fro. It was some time before I could +find O'Brien, who was hard at work; and, as I had already been made +acquainted with all his plans, I will now explain them. At Montpelier he +had procured six large pieces of iron, about eighteen inches long, with +a gimlet at one end of each, and a square at the other, which fitted to +a handle which unshipped. For precaution he had a spare handle, but each +handle fitted to all the irons. O'Brien had screwed one of these pieces +of iron between the interstices of the stones of which the wall was +built, and sitting astride on that, was fixing another about three feet +above. When he had accomplished this, he stood upon the lower iron, and +supporting himself by the second, which about met his hip, he screwed in +a third, always fixing them about six inches on one side of the other, +and not one above the other. When he had screwed in his six irons, he +was about half up the wall, and then he fastened his rope, which he had +carried round his neck, to the upper iron, and lowering himself down, +unscrewed the four lower irons: then ascending by the rope, he stood +upon the fifth iron, and supporting himself by the upper iron, +recommenced his task. By these means he arrived in the course of an hour +and a half to the top of the wall, where he fixed his last iron, and +making his rope fast, he came down again. "Now, Peter," said he, "there +is no fear of the sentries seeing us; if they had the eyes of cats, they +could not until we were on the top of the wall; but then we arrive at +the glacis, and we must creep to the ramparts on our bellies. I am going +up with all the materials. Give me your haversack--you will go up +lighter; and recollect, should any accident happen to me, you run to bed +again. If, on the contrary, I pull the rope up and down three or four +times, you may sheer up it as fast as you can." O'Brien then loaded +himself with the other rope, the two knapsacks, iron crows, and other +implements he had procured; and, last of all, with the umbrella. "Peter, +if the rope bears me with all this, it is clear it will bear such a +creature as you are, therefore don't be afraid." So whispering, he +commenced his ascent; in about three minutes he was up, and the rope +pulled. I immediately followed him, and found the rope very easy to +climb, from the knots at every two feet, which gave me a hold for my +feet, and I was up in as short a time as he was. He caught me by the +collar, putting his wet hand on my mouth, and I lay down beside him +while he pulled up the rope. We then crawled on our stomachs across the +glacis till we arrived at the rampart. The wind blew tremendously, and +the rain pattered down so fast, that the sentries did not perceive us; +indeed, it was no fault of theirs, for it was impossible to have made us +out. It was some time before O'Brien could find out the point exactly +above the drawbridge of the first ditch; at last he did--he fixed his +crow-bar in, and lowered down the rope. "Now, Peter, I had better go +first again; when I shake the rope from below, all's right." O'Brien +descended, and in a few minutes the rope again shook; I followed him, +and found myself received in his arms upon the meeting of the +drawbridge; but the drawbridge itself was up. O'Brien led the way across +the chains, and I followed him. When we had crossed the moat, we found a +barrier gate locked; this puzzled us. O'Brien pulled out his picklocks +to pick it, but without success; here we were fast. "We must undermine +the gate, O'Brien; we must pull up the pavement until we can creep +under." "Peter, you are a fine fellow; I never thought of that." We +worked very hard until the hole was large enough, using the crow-bar +which was left, and a little wrench which O'Brien had with him. By these +means we got under the gate in the course of an hour or more. This gate +led to the lower rampart, but we had a covered way to pass through +before we arrived at it. We proceeded very cautiously, when we heard a +noise: we stopped, and found that it was a sentry, who was fast asleep, +and snoring. Little expecting to find one here, we were puzzled; pass +him we could not well, as he was stationed on the very spot where we +required to place our crow-bar to descend the lower rampart into the +river. O'Brien thought for a moment. "Peter," said he, "now is the time +for you to prove yourself a man. He is fast asleep, but his noise must +be stopped. I will stop his mouth, but at the very moment that I do so +you must throw open the pan of his musket, and then he cannot fire it." +"I will, O'Brien; don't fear me." We crept cautiously up to him, and +O'Brien motioning to me to put my thumb upon the pan, I did so, and the +moment that O'Brien put his hand upon the soldier's mouth, I threw open +the pan. The fellow struggled, and snapped his lock as a signal, but of +course without discharging his musket, and in a minute he was not only +gagged but bound by O'Brien, with my assistance. Leaving him there, we +proceeded to the rampart, and fixing the crow-bar again, O'Brien +descended; I followed him, and found him in the river, hanging on to the +rope; the umbrella was opened and turned upwards; the preparation made +it resist the water, and, as previously explained to me by O'Brien, I +had only to hold on at arm's length to two beckets which he had affixed +to the point of the umbrella, which was under water. To the same part +O'Brien had a tow-line, which taking in his teeth, he towed me down with +the stream to about a hundred yards clear of the fortress, where we +landed. O'Brien was so exhausted that for a few minutes he remained +quite motionless; I also was benumbed with the cold. "Peter," said he, +"thank God we have succeeded so far; now must we push on as far as we +can, for we shall have daylight in two hours." O'Brien took out his +flask of spirits, and we both drank a half tumbler at least, but we +should not in our state have been affected with a bottle. We now walked +along the river-side till we fell in with a small craft, with a boat +towing astern: O'Brien swam to it, and cutting the painter without +getting in, towed it on shore. The oars were fortunately in the boat. I +got in, we shoved off, and rowed away down the stream till the dawn of +day. "All's right, Peter; now we'll land. This is the Forest of +Ardennes." We landed, replaced the oars in the boat, and pushed her off +into the stream, to induce people to suppose that she had broken adrift, +and then hastened into the thickest of the wood. It still rained hard; I +shivered, and my teeth chattered with the cold, but there was no help +for it. We again took a dram of spirits, and, worn out with fatigue and +excitement, soon fell fast asleep upon a bed of leaves which we had +collected together. + + + + +Chapter XXII + +Grave consequences of gravitation--O'Brien enlists himself as a +gendarme, and takes charge of me--We are discovered, and obliged to run +for it--The pleasures of a winter bivouac. + + +It was not until noon that I awoke, when I found that O'Brien had +covered me more than a foot deep with leaves to protect me from the +weather. I felt quite warm and comfortable; my clothes had dried on me, +but without giving me cold. "How very kind of you, O'Brien!" said I. + +"Not a bit, Peter: you have hard work to go through yet, and I must take +care of you. You're but a bud, and I'm a full-blown rose." So saying, he +put the spirit-flask to his mouth, and then handed it to me. "Now, +Peter, we must make a start, for depend upon it they will scour the +country for us; but this is a large wood, and they may as well attempt +to find a needle in a bundle of hay, if we once get into the heart of +it." + +"I think," said I, "that this forest is mentioned by Shakespeare, in one +of his plays." + +"Very likely, Peter," replied O'Brien; "but we are at no playwork now; +and what reads amazing prettily, is no joke in reality. I've often +observed, that your writers never take the weather into consideration." + +"I beg your pardon, O'Brien; in King Lear the weather was tremendous." + +"Very likely; but who was the king that went out in such weather?" + +"King Lear did, when he was mad." + +"So he was, that's certain, Peter; but runaway prisoners have some +excuse; so now for a start." + +We set off, forcing our way through the thicket, for about three hours, +O'Brien looking occasionally at his pocket compass; it then was again +nearly dark, and O'Brien proposed a halt. We made up a bed of leaves for +the night, and slept much more comfortably than we had the night before. +All our bread was wet, but as we had no water, it was rather a relief; +the meat we had with us was sufficient for a week. Once more we laid +down and fell fast asleep. About five o'clock in the morning I was +roused by O'Brien, who at the same time put his hand gently over my +mouth. I sat up, and perceived a large fire not far from us. "The +Philistines are upon us, Peter," said he; "I have reconnoitred, and they +are the gendarmes. I'm fearful of going away, as we may stumble upon +some more of them. I've been thinking what's best before I waked you; +and it appears to me, that we had better get up the tree, and lie +there." + +At that time we were hidden in a copse of underwood, with a large oak in +the centre, covered with ivy. "I think so too, O'Brien; shall we go up +now, or wait a little?" + +"Now, to be sure, that they're eating their prog. Mount you, Peter, and +I'll help you." + +O'Brien shoved me up the tree, and then waiting a little while to bury +our haversacks among the leaves, he followed me. He desired me to remain +in a very snug position, on the first fork of the tree, while he took +another, amongst a bunch of ivy, on the largest bough. There we remained +for about an hour, when day dawned. We observed the gendarmes mustered +at the break of day, by the corporal, and then they all separated in +different directions, to scour the wood. We were delighted to perceive +this, as we hoped soon to be able to get away; but there was one +gendarme who remained. He walked to and fro, looking everywhere, until +he came directly under the tree in which we were concealed. He poked +about, until at last he came to the bed of leaves upon which we had +slept; these he turned over and over with his bayonet, until he routed +out our haversacks. "Pardi!" exclaimed he, "where the nest and eggs are, +the birds are near." He then walked round the tree, looking up into +every part, but we were well concealed, and he did not discover us for +some time. At last he saw me, and ordered me to come down. I paid no +attention to him, as I had no signal from O'Brien. He walked round a +little farther, until he was directly under the branch on which O'Brien +lay. Taking up this position, he had a fairer aim at me, and levelled +his musket, saying, "_Descendez, ou je tire_." Still I continued +immoveable, for I knew not what to do. I shut my eyes, however; the +musket shortly afterwards was discharged, and, whether from fear or not +I can hardly tell, I lost my hold of a sudden, and down I came. I was +stunned with the fall, and thought that I must have been wounded, and +was very much surprised, when, instead of the gendarme, O'Brien came up +to me, and asked whether I was hurt. I answered, I believed not, and got +upon my legs, when I found the gendarme lying on the ground, breathing +heavily, but insensible. When O'Brien perceived the gendarme level his +musket at me, he immediately dropped from the bough, right upon his +head; this occasioned the musket to go off, without hitting me, and at +the same time, the weight of O'Brien's body from such a height killed +the gendarme, for he expired before we left him. "Now, Peter," said +O'Brien, "this is the most fortunate thing in the world, and will take +us half through the country; but we have no time to lose." He then +stripped the gendarme, who still breathed heavily, and dragging him to +our bed of leaves, covered him up, threw off his own clothes, which he +tied in a bundle, and gave to me to carry, and put on those of the +gendarme. I could not help laughing at the metamorphosis, and asked +O'Brien what he intended. "Sure, I'm a gendarme, bringing with me a +prisoner, who has escaped." He then tied my hands with a cord, +shouldered his musket, and off we set. We now quitted the wood as soon +as we could; for O'Brien said that he had no fear for the next ten days; +and so it proved. We had one difficulty, which was, that we were going +the wrong way; but that was obviated by travelling mostly at night, when +no questions were asked, except at the cabarets, where we lodged, and +they did not know which way we came. When we stopped at night, my youth +excited a great deal of commiseration, especially from the females; and +in one instance I was offered assistance to escape. I consented to it, +but at the same time informed O'Brien of the plan proposed. O'Brien kept +watch--I dressed myself, and was at the open window, when he rushed in, +seizing me, and declaring that he would inform the Government of the +conduct of the parties. Their confusion and distress were very great. +They offered O'Brien twenty, thirty, forty Napoleons, if he would hush +it up, for they were aware of the penalty and imprisonment. O'Brien +replied that he would not accept of any money in compromise of his duty; +that after he had given me into the charge of the gendarme of the next +post, his business was at an end, and he must return to Flushing, where +he was stationed. + +"I have a sister there," replied the hostess, "who keeps an inn. You'll +want good quarters, and a friendly cup; do not denounce us, and I'll +give you a letter to her, which, if it does not prove of service, you +can then return and give the information." + +O'Brien consented; the letter was delivered, and read to him, in which +the sister was requested, by the love she bore to the writer, to do all +she could for the bearer, who had the power of making the whole family +miserable, but had refused so to do. O'Brien pocketed the letter, filled +his brandy-flask, and saluting all the women, left the cabaret, dragging +me after him with a cord. The only difference, as O'Brien observed after +he went out, was, that he (O'Brien) kissed all the women, and all the +women kissed me. In this way, we had proceeded by Charleroy and Louvain, +and were within a few miles of Malines, when a circumstance occurred +which embarrassed us not a little. We were following our route, avoiding +Malines, which was a fortified town, and at the time were in a narrow +lane, with wide ditches, full of water, on each side. At the turning of +a sharp corner, we met the gendarme who had supplied O'Brien with a map +of the town of Givet. "Good morning, comrade," said he to O'Brien, +looking earnestly at him, "whom have we here?" + +"A young Englishman, whom I picked up close by, escaped from prison." + +"Where from?" + +"He will not say; but I suspect from Givet." + +"There are two who have escaped from Givet," replied he: "how they +escaped no one can imagine; but," continued he, again looking at +O'Brien, "_avec les braves, il n'y a rien d'impossible_." + +"That is true," replied O'Brien; "I have taken one, the other cannot be +far off. You had better look for him." + +"I should like to find him," replied the gendarme, "for you know that to +retake a runaway prisoner is certain promotion. You will be made a +corporal." + +"So much the better," replied O'Brien; "_adieu, mon ami_." + +"Nay, I merely came for a walk, and will return with you to Malines, +where of course you are bound." + +"We shall not get there to-night," said O'Brien, "my prisoner is too +much fatigued." + +"Well, then, we will go as far as we can; and I will assist you. Perhaps +we may find the second, who, I understand, obtained a map of the +fortress by some means or other." + +We at once perceived that we were discovered. He afterwards told us that +the body of a gendarme had been found in the wood, no doubt murdered by +the prisoners, and that the body was stripped naked. "I wonder," +continued he, "whether one of the prisoners put on his clothes, and +passed as a gendarme." + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "are we to murder this man or not?" + +"I should say not: pretend to trust him, and then we may give him the +slip." This was said during the time that the gendarme stopped a moment +behind us. + +"Well, we'll try; but first I'll put him off his guard." When the +gendarme came up with us, O'Brien observed, that the English prisoners +were very liberal; that he knew that a hundred Napoleons were often paid +for assistance, and he thought that no corporal's rank was equal to a +sum that would in France make a man happy and independent for life. + +"Very true," replied the gendarme; "and let me only look upon that sum, +and I will guarantee a positive safety out of France." + +"Then we understand each other," replied O'Brien; "this boy will give +two hundred--one half shall be yours, if you will assist." + +"I will think of it," replied the gendarme, who then talked about +indifferent subjects, until we arrived at a small town, called Acarchot, +where we proceeded to a cabaret. The usual curiosity passed over we were +left alone, O'Brien telling the gendarme that he would expect his reply +that night or to-morrow morning. The gendarme said, to-morrow morning. +O'Brien requesting him to take charge of me, he called the woman of the +cabaret to show him a room; she showed him one or two, which he refused, +as not sufficiently safe for the prisoner. The woman laughed at the +idea, observing, "What had he to fear from a _pauvre enfant_ like me?" + +"Yet this _pauvre enfant_ escaped from Givet," replied O'Brien; "these +Englishmen are devils from their birth." The last room showed to O'Brien +suited him, and he chose it--the woman not presuming to contradict a +gendarme. As soon as they came down again, O'Brien ordered me to bed, +and went up-stairs with me. He bolted the door, and pulling me to the +large chimney, we put our heads up, and whispered, that our conversation +should not be heard. "This man is not to be trusted," said O'Brien, "and +we must give him the slip. I know my way out of the inn, and we must +return the way we came, and then strike off in another direction." + +"But will he permit us?" + +"Not if he can help it; but I shall soon find out his manoeuvres." + +O'Brien then went and stopped the key-hole, by hanging his handkerchief +across it, and stripping himself of his gendarme uniform, put on his own +clothes; then he stuffed the blankets and pillow into the gendarme's +dress, and laid it down on the outside of the bed, as if it were a man +sleeping in his clothes--indeed, it was an admirable deception. He laid +his musket by the side of the image, and then did the same to my bed, +making it appear as if there was a person asleep in it, of my size, and +putting my cap on the pillow. "Now, Peter, we'll see if he is watching +us. He will wait till he thinks we are asleep." The light still remained +in the room, and about an hour afterwards we heard a noise of one +treading on the stairs, upon which, as agreed, we crept under the bed. +The latch of our door was tried, and finding it open, which he did not +expect, the gendarme entered, and looking at both beds, went away. +"Now," said I, after the gendarme had gone down-stairs, "O'Brien, ought +we not to escape?" + +"I've been thinking of it, Peter, and I have come to a resolution that +we can manage it better. He is certain to come again in an hour or two. +It is only eleven. Now I'll play him a trick." O'Brien then took one of +the blankets, make it fast to the window, which he left wide open, and +at the same time disarranged the images he had made up, so as to let the +gendarme perceive that they were counterfeit. We again crept under the +bed, and as O'Brien foretold, in about an hour more the gendarme +returned; our lamp was still burning, but he had a light of his own. He +looked at the beds, perceived at once that he had been duped, went to +the open window, and then exclaimed, "_Sacre Dieu! ils m'ont echappes et +je ne suis plus caporal. F----tre! a la chasse_!" He rushed out of the +room, and in a minute afterwards we heard him open the street door, and +go away. + +"That will do, Peter," said O'Brien, laughing; "now we'll be off also, +although there's no great hurry." O'Brien then resumed his dress of a +gendarme; and about an hour afterwards we went down, and wishing the +hostess all happiness, quitted the cabaret, returning the same road by +which we had come. "Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "we're in a bit of a +puzzle. This dress won't do any more, still there's a respectability +about it, which will not allow me to put it off till the last moment." +We walked on till daylight, when we hid ourselves in a copse of trees. +At night we again started for the forest of Ardennes, for O'Brien said +our best chance was to return, until they supposed that we had had time +to effect our escape; but we never reached the forest, for on the next +day a violent snowstorm came on; it continued without intermission for +four days, during which we suffered much. Our money was not exhausted, +as I had drawn upon my father for L60, which, with the disadvantageous +exchange, had given me fifty Napoleons. Occasionally O'Brien crept into +a cabaret, and obtained provisions; but, as we dared not be seen +together as before, we were always obliged to sleep in the open air, the +ground being covered more than three feet with snow. On the fifth day, +being then six days from the forest of Ardennes, we hid ourselves in a +small wood, about a quarter of a mile from the road. I remained there +while O'Brien, as a gendarme, went to obtain provisions. As usual, I +looked out for the best shelter during his absence, and what was my +horror at falling in with a man and woman who lay dead in the snow, +having evidently perished from the weather. Just as I discovered them, +O'Brien returned, and I told him; he went with me to view the bodies. +They were dressed in a strange attire, ribands pinned upon their +clothes, and two pairs of very high stilts lying by their sides. O'Brien +surveyed them, and then said, "Peter, this is the very best thing that +could have happened to us. We may now walk through France without +soiling our feet with the cursed country." + +"How do you mean?" + +"I mean," said he, "that these are the people that we met near +Montpelier, who come from the Landes, walking about on their stilts for +the amusement of others, to obtain money. In their own country they are +obliged to walk so. Now, Peter, it appears to me that the man's clothes +will fit me, and the girl's (poor creature, how pretty she looks, cold +in death!) will fit you. All we have to do is to practise a little, and +then away we start." + +O'Brien then, with some difficulty, pulled off the man's jacket and +trowsers, and having so done, buried him in the snow. The poor girl was +despoiled of her gown and upper petticoat, with every decency, and also +buried. We collected the clothes and stilts, and removed to another +quarter of the wood, where we found a well-sheltered spot, and took our +meal. As we did not travel that night as usual, we had to prepare our +own bed. We scraped away the snow, and made ourselves as comfortable as +we could without a fire, but the weather was dreadful. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "I'm melancholy. Here, drink plenty;" and he +handed me the flask of spirits, which had never been empty. + +"Drink more, Peter." + +"I cannot, O'Brien, without being tipsy." + +"Never mind that, drink more; see how these two poor devils lost their +lives by falling asleep in the snow. Peter," said O'Brien, starting up, +"you sha'n't sleep here--follow me." + +I expostulated in vain. It was almost dark, and he led me to the +village, near which he pitched upon a hovel (a sort of out-house). +"Peter, here is shelter; lie down and sleep, and I'll keep the watch. +Not a word, I will have it--down at once." + +I did so, and in a very few minutes was fast asleep, for I was worn out +with cold and fatigue. For several days we had walked all night, and the +rest we gained by day was trifling. Oh how I longed for a warm bed with +four or five blankets! Just as the day broke, O'Brien roused me; he had +stood sentry all night, and looked very haggard. + +"O'Brien, you are ill," said I. + +"Not a bit; but I've emptied the brandy-flask; and that's a bad job. +However, it is to be remedied." + +We then returned to the wood in a mizzling rain and fog, for the weather +had changed, and the frost had broken up. The thaw was even worse than +the frost, and we felt the cold more. O'Brien again insisted upon my +sleeping in the out-house, but this time I positively refused without he +would also sleep there, pointing out to him, that we ran no more risk, +and perhaps not so much, as if he stayed outside. Finding I was +positive, he at last consented, and we both gained it unperceived. We +lay down, but I did not go to sleep for some time, I was so anxious to +see O'Brien fast asleep. He went in and out several times, during which +I pretended to be fast asleep; at last it rained in torrents, and then +he lay down again, and in a few minutes, overpowered by nature, he fell +fast asleep, snoring so loudly, that I was afraid some one would hear +us. I then got up and watched, occasionally lying down and slumbering +awhile, and then going to the door. + + + + +Chapter XXIII + +Exalted with our success, we march through France without touching the +ground--I become feminine--We are voluntary conscripts. + + +At day-break I called O'Brien, who jumped up in a great hurry. + +"Sure I've been asleep, Peter." + +"Yes, you have," replied I, "and I thank Heaven that you have, for no +one could stand such fatigue as you have, much longer; and if you fall +ill, what would become of me?" This was touching him on the right point. + +"Well, Peter, since there's no harm come of it, there's no harm done. +I've had sleep enough for the next week, that's certain." + +We returned to the wood; the snow had disappeared, and the rain ceased; +the sun shone out from between the clouds, and we felt warm. + +"Don't pass so near that way," said O'Brien, "we shall see the poor +creatures, now that the snow is gone. Peter, we must shift our quarters +to-night, for I have been to every cabaret in the village, and I cannot +go there any more without suspicion, although I am a gendarme." + +We remained there till the evening, and then set off, still returning +towards Givet. About an hour before daylight we arrived at a copse of +trees, close to the road-side, and surrounded by a ditch, not above a +quarter of a mile from a village. "It appears to me," said O'Brien, +"that this will do: I will now put you there, and then go boldly to the +village and see what I can get, for here we must stay at least a week." + +We walked to the copse, and the ditch being rather too wide for me to +leap, O'Brien laid the four stilts together so as to form a bridge, over +which I contrived to walk. Tossing to me all the bundles, and desiring +me to leave the stilts as a bridge for him on his return, he set off to +the village with his musket on his shoulder. He was away two hours, when +he returned with a large supply of provisions, the best we had ever had. +French saucissons, seasoned with garlic, which I thought delightful; +four bottles of brandy, besides his flask; a piece of hung beef and six +loaves of bread, besides half a baked goose and part of a large pie. + +"There," said he, "we have enough for a good week; and look here, Peter, +this is better than all." And he showed me two large horse-rugs. + +"Excellent," replied I; "now we shall be comfortable." + +"I paid honestly for all but these rugs," observed O'Brien; "but I was +afraid to buy them, so I stole them. However, we'll leave them here for +those they belong to--it's only borrowing, after all." + +We now prepared a very comfortable shelter with branches, which we wove +together, and laying the leaves in the sun to dry, soon obtained a soft +bed to put one horse-rug on, while we covered ourselves up with the +other. Our bridge of stilts we had removed, so that we felt ourselves +quite secure from surprise. That evening we did nothing but carouse--the +goose, the pie, the saucissons as big as my arm, were alternately +attacked, and we went to the ditch to drink water, and then ate again. +This was quite happiness to what we had suffered, especially with the +prospect of a good bed. At dark, to bed we went, and slept soundly; I +never felt more refreshed during our wanderings. At daylight O'Brien got +up. + +"Now, Peter, a little practice before breakfast." + +"What practice do you mean?" + +"Mean! why on the stilts. I expect in a week that you'll be able to +dance a gavotte at least; for mind me, Peter, you travel out of France +upon these stilts, depend upon it." + +O'Brien then took the stilts belonging to the man, giving, me those of +the woman. We strapped them to our thighs, and by fixing our backs to a +tree, contrived to get upright upon them; but, at the first attempt to +walk, O'Brien fell to the right, and I fell to the left. O'Brien fell +against a tree, but I fell on my nose, and made it bleed very much; +however, we laughed and got up again, and although we had several falls, +at last we made a better hand of them. We then had some difficulty in +getting down again, but we found out how, by again resorting to a tree. +After breakfast we strapped them on again, and practised, and so we +continued to do for the whole day, when we again attacked our +provisions, and fell asleep under our horse-rug. This continued for five +days, by which time, being constantly on the stilts, we became very +expert; and although I could not dance a gavotte--for I did not know +what that was--I could hop about with them with the greatest ease. + +"One day's more practice," said O'Brien, "for our provisions will last +one day more, and then we start; but this time we must rehearse in +costume." + +O'Brien then dressed me in the poor girl's clothes, and himself in the +man's; they fitted very well, and the last day we practised as man and +woman. + +"Peter, you make a very pretty girl," said O'Brien. "Now, don't you +allow the men to take liberties." + +"Never fear," replied I. "But, O'Brien, as these petticoats are not very +warm, I mean to cut off my trowsers up to my knees, and wear them +underneath." + +"That's all right," said O'Brien, "for you may have a tumble, and then +they may find out that you're not a lady." + +The next morning we made use of our stilts to cross the ditch, and +carrying them in our hands we boldly set off on the high road to +Malines. We met several people, gens-d'armes and others, but with the +exception of some remarks upon my good looks, we passed unnoticed. +Towards the evening we arrived at the village where we had slept in the +outhouse, and as soon as we entered it we put on our stilts, and +commenced a march. When the crowd had gathered we held out our caps, and +receiving nine or ten sous, we entered a cabaret. Many questions were +asked us, as to where we came from, and O'Brien answered, telling lies +innumerable. I played the modest girl, and O'Brien, who stated I was his +sister, appeared very careful and jealous of any attention. We slept +well, and the next morning continued our route to Malines. We very often +put on our stilts for practice on the road, which detained us very much, +and it was not until the eighth day, without any variety or any +interruption, that we arrived at Malines. As we entered the barriers we +put on our stilts, and marched boldly on. The guard at the gate stopped +us, not from suspicion, but to amuse themselves, and I was forced to +submit to several kisses from their garlic lips, before we were allowed +to enter the town. We again mounted on our stilts, for the guard had +forced us to dismount, or they could not have kissed me, every now and +then imitating a dance, until we arrived at the _Grande Place_, where we +stopped opposite the hotel, and commenced a sort of waltz which we had +practised. The people in the hotel looked out of the window to see our +exhibition, and when we had finished I went up to the windows with +O'Brien's cap to collect money. What was my surprise to perceive Colonel +O'Brien looking full in my face, and staring very hard at me;--what was +my greater astonishment at seeing Celeste, who immediately recognised +me, and ran back to the sofa in the room, putting her hands up to her +eyes, and crying out "_C'est lui, c'est lui_!" Fortunately O'Brien was +close to me, or I should have fallen, but he supported me. "Peter, ask +the crowd for money, or you are lost." I did so, and collecting some +pence, then asked him what I should do. "Go back to the window--you can +then judge of what will happen." I returned to the window; Colonel +O'Brien had disappeared, but Celeste was there, as if waiting for me. I +held out the cap to her, and she thrust her hand into it. The cap sank +with the weight. I took out a purse, which I kept closed in my hand, and +put it into my bosom. Celeste then retired from the window, and when she +had gone to the back of the room kissed her hand to me, and went out at +the door. I remained stupefied for a moment, but O'Brien roused me, and +we quitted the _Grande Place_, taking up our quarters at a little +cabaret. On examining the purse, I found fifty Napoleons in it: these +must have been, obtained from her father. I cried over them with +delight. O'Brien was also much affected at the kindness of the colonel. +"He's a real O'Brien, every inch of him," said he: "even this cursed +country can't spoil the breed." + +At the cabaret where we stopped, we were informed, that the officer who +was at the hotel had been appointed to the command of the strong fort of +Bergen-op-Zoom, and was proceeding thither. + +"We must not chance to meet him again, if possible," said O'Brien; "it +would be treading too close upon the heels of his duty. Neither will it +do to appear on stilts among the dikes; so, Peter, we'll just jump on +clear of this town and then we'll trust to our wits." + +We walked out of the town early in the morning, after O'Brien had made +purchases of some of the clothes usually worn by the peasantry. When +within a few miles of St Nicholas, we threw away our stilts and the +clothes which we had on, and dressed ourselves in those O'Brien had +purchased. O'Brien had not forgotten to provide us with two large +brown-coloured blankets, which we strapped on to our shoulders, as the +soldiers do their coats. + +"But what are we to pass for now, O'Brien?" + +"Peter, I will settle that point before night. My wits are working, but +I like to trust to chance for a stray idea or so; we must walk fast, or +we shall be smothered with the snow." + +It was bitter cold weather, and the snow had fallen heavily during the +whole day; but although nearly dusk, there was a bright moon ready for +us. We walked very fast, and soon observed persons ahead of us. "Let us +overtake them, we may obtain some information." As we came up with them, +one of them (they were both lads of seventeen to eighteen) said to +O'Brien, "I thought we were the last, but I was mistaken. How far is it +now to St Nicholas?" + +"How should I know?" replied O'Brien, "I am a stranger in these parts as +well as yourself." + +"From what part of France do you come?" demanded the other, his teeth +chattering with the cold, for he was badly clothed, and with little +defence from the inclement weather. + +"From Montpelier," replied O'Brien. + +"And I from Toulouse. A sad change, comrade, from olives and vines to +such a climate as this. Curse the conscription: I intended to have +taken a little wife next year." + +O'Brien gave me a push, as if to say, "Here's something that will do," +and then continued,-- + +"And curse the conscription I say too, for I had just married, and now +my wife is left to be annoyed by the attention of the _fermier general_. +But it can't be helped. _C'est pour la France et pour la gloire_." + +"We shall be too late to get a billet," replied the other, "and not a +sou have I in my pocket. I doubt if I get up with the main body till +they are at Flushing. By our route, they are at Axel to-day." + +"If we arrive at St Nicholas, we shall do well," replied O'Brien; "but I +have a little money left, and I'll not see a comrade want a supper or a +bed who is going to serve his country. You can repay me when we meet at +Flushing." + +"That I will with thanks," replied the Frenchman; "and so will Jacques +here, if you will trust him." + +"With pleasure," replied O'Brien, who then entered into a long +conversation, by which he drew out from the Frenchmen that a party of +conscripts had been ordered to Flushing, and that they had dropped +behind the main body. O'Brien passed himself off as a conscript +belonging to the party, and me as his brother, who had resolved to join +the army as a drummer, rather than part with him. In about an hour we +arrived at St Nicholas, and after some difficulty obtained entrance into +a cabaret. "_Vive la France_!" said O'Brien, going up to the fire, and +throwing the snow off his hat. In a short time we were seated to a good +supper and very tolerable wine, the hostess sitting down by us, and +listening to the true narratives of the real conscripts, and the false +one of O'Brien. After supper the conscript who first addressed us pulled +out his printed paper, with the route laid down, and observed that we +were two days behind the others. O'Brien read it over, and laid it on +the table, at the same time calling for more wine, having already pushed +it round very freely. We did not drink much ourselves, but plied them +hard, and at last the conscript commenced the whole history of his +intended marriage and his disappointment, tearing his hair, and crying +now and then. "Never mind," interrupted O'Brien, every two or three +minutes, "_buvons un autre coup pour la gloire_!" and thus he continued +to make them both drink until they reeled away to bed, forgetting their +printed paper, which O'Brien had some time before slipped away from the +table. We also retired to our room, when O'Brien observed to me. "Peter, +this description is as much like me as I am to Old Nick; but that's of +no consequence, as nobody goes willingly as a conscript, and therefore +they will never have a doubt but that it is all right. We must be off +early to-morrow, while these good people are in bed, and steal a long +march upon them. I consider that we are now safe as far as Flushing." + + + + +Chapter XXIV + +What occurred at Flushing, and what occurred when we got out of +Flushing. + + +An hour before daybreak we started; the snow was thick on the ground, +but the sky was clear, and without any difficulty or interruption we +passed through the towns of Axel and Halst, arrived at Terneuse on the +fourth day, and went over to Flushing in company with about a dozen more +stragglers from the main body. As we landed, the guard asked us whether +we were conscripts. O'Brien replied that he was, and held out his paper. +They took his name, or rather that of the person it belonged to, down in +a book, and told him that he must apply to the _etat major_ before +three o'clock. We passed on delighted with our success, and then O'Brien +pulled out the letter which had been given to him by the woman of the +cabaret, who had offered to assist me to escape, when O'Brien passed off +as a gendarme, and reading the address, demanded his way to the street. +We soon found out the house, and entered. + +"Conscripts!" said the woman of the house, looking at O'Brien; "I am +billeted full already. It must be a mistake. Where is your order?" + +"Read," said O'Brien, handing her the letter. + +She read the letter, and putting it into her neckerchief, desired him to +follow her. O'Brien beckoned me to come, and we went into a small room. +"What can I do for you?" said the woman; "I will do all in my power: +but, alas! you will march from here in two or three days." + +"Never mind," replied O'Brien, "we will talk the matter over by-and-by, +but at present only oblige us by letting us remain in this little room; +we do not wish to be seen." + +"_Comment done_!--you a conscript, and not wish to be seen! Are you, +then, intending to desert?" + +"Answer me one question; you have read that letter, do you intend to act +up to its purport, as your sister requests?" + +"As I hope for mercy I will, if I suffer everything. She is a dear +sister, and would not write so earnestly if she had not strong reason. +My house and everything you command are yours--can I say more?" + +"But," continued O'Brien, "suppose I did intend to desert, would you +then assist me?" + +"At my peril," replied the woman: "have you not assisted my family when +in difficulty?" + +"Well, then, I will not at present detain you from your business; I have +heard you called several times. Let us have dinner when convenient, and +we will remain here." + +"If I have any knowledge of phiz--_what d'ye call it_," observed +O'Brien, after she left us, "there is honesty in that woman, and I must +trust her, but not yet; we must wait till the conscripts have gone." I +agreed with O'Brien, and we remained talking until an hour afterwards, +when the woman brought us our dinner. + +"What is your name?" inquired O'Brien. + +"Louise Eustache; you might have read it on the letter." + +"Are you married?" + +"Oh yes, these six years. My husband is seldom at home; he is a Flushing +pilot. A hard life, harder even than that of a soldier. Who is this +lad?" + +"He is my brother, who, if I go as a soldier, intends to volunteer as a +drummer." + +"_Pauvre enfant! c'est dommage_." + +The cabaret was full of conscripts and other people, so that the hostess +had enough to do. At night, we were shown by her into a small bed-room, +adjoining the room we occupied. "You are quite alone here; the +conscripts are to muster to-morrow, I find, in the _Place d'Armes_, at +two o'clock; do you intend to go?" + +"No," replied O'Brien: "they will think that I am behind. It is of no +consequence." + +"Well," replied the woman, "do as you please, you may trust me: but I am +so busy, without any one to assist me, that until they leave the town, I +can hardly find time to speak to you." + +"That will be soon enough, my good hostess," replied O'Brien: "_au +revoir_." + +The next evening, the woman came in, in some alarm, stating that a +conscript had arrived whose name had been given in before, and that the +person who had given it in, had not mustered at the place. That the +conscript had declared, that his pass had been stolen from him by a +person with whom he had stopped at St Nicholas, and that there were +orders for a strict search to be made through the town, as it was known +that some English officers had escaped, and it was supposed that one of +them had obtained the pass. "Surely you're not English?" inquired the +woman, looking earnestly at O'Brien. + +"Indeed, but I am, my dear," replied O'Brien: "and so is this lad with +me: and the favour which your sister requires is, that you help us over +the water, for which service there are one hundred louis ready to be +paid upon delivery of us." + +"_Oh, mon Dieu! mais c'est impossible_." + +"Impossible!" replied O'Brien; "was that the answer I gave your sister +in her trouble?" + +"_Au moins c'est fort difficile_." + +"That's quite another concern; but with your husband a pilot, I should +think a great part of the difficulty removed." + +"My husband! I've no power over him," replied the woman, putting the +apron up to her eyes. + +"But one hundred louis may have," replied O'Brien. + +"There is truth in that," observed the woman, after a pause, "but what +am I to do, if they come to search the house?" + +"Send us out of it, until you can find an opportunity to send us to +England. I leave it all to you--your sister expects it from you." + +"And she shall not be disappointed, if God helps us," replied the woman, +after a short pause: "but I fear you must leave this house and the town +also to-night." + +"How are we to leave the town?" + +"I will arrange that; be ready at four o'clock, for the gates are shut +at dusk. I must go now, for there is no time to be lost." + +"We are in a nice mess now, O'Brien," observed I, after the woman had +quitted the room. + +"Devil a bit, Peter; I feel no anxiety whatever, except at leaving such +good quarters." + +We packed up all our effects, not forgetting our two blankets, and +waited the return of the hostess. In about an hour she entered the room. +"I have spoken to my husband's sister, who lives about two miles on the +road to Middelburg. She is in town now, for it is market-day, and you +will be safe where she hides you. I told her, it was by my husband's +request, or she would not have consented. Here, boy, put on these +clothes; I will assist you." Once more I was dressed as a girl, and when +my clothes were on, O'Brien burst out into laughter at my blue stockings +and short petticoats. "_Il n'est pas mal_," observed the hostess, as she +fixed a small cap on my head, and then tied a kerchief under my chin, +which partly hid my face. O'Brien put on a greatcoat, which the woman +handed to him, with a wide-brimmed hat. "Now follow me!" She led us into +the street, which was thronged, till we arrived at the market-place, +when she met another woman, who joined her. At the end of the +market-place stood a small horse and cart, into which the strange woman +and I mounted, while O'Brien, by the directions of the landlady, led the +horse through the crowd until we arrived at the barriers, when she +wished us good day in a loud voice before the guard. The guard took no +notice of us, and we passed safely through, and found ourselves upon a +neatly-paved road, as straight as an arrow, and lined on each side with +high trees and a ditch. In about an hour, we stopped near to the +farmhouse of the woman who was in charge of us. "Do you observe that +wood?" said she to O'Brien, pointing to one about half a mile from the +road. "I dare not take you into the house, my husband is so violent +against the English, who captured his schuyt, and made him a poor man, +that he would inform against you immediately; but go you there, make +yourselves as comfortable as you can to-night, and to-morrow I will send +you what you want. _Adieu! Je vous plains, pauvre enfant_." said she, +looking at me, as she drove off in the cart towards her own house. + +"Peter," said O'Brien, "I think that her kicking us out of her house is +a proof of her sincerity, and therefore I say no more about it; we have +the brandy-flask to keep up our spirits. Now then for the wood, though, +by the powers, I shall have no relish for any of your pic-nic parties, +as they call them, for the next twelve years." + +"But, O'Brien, how can I get over this ditch in petticoats? I could +hardly leap it in my own clothes." + +"You must tie your petticoats round your waist and make a good run; get +over as far as you can, and I will drag you through the rest." + +"But you forget that we are to sleep in the wood, and that it's no +laughing matter to get wet through, freezing so hard as it does now." + +"Very true, Peter; but as the snow lies so deep upon the ditch, perhaps +the ice may bear. I'll try; if it bears me, it will not condescend to +bend at your shrimp of a carcass." + +O'Brien tried the ice, which was firm, and we both walked over, and +making all the haste we could, arrived at the wood, as the woman called +it, but which was not more than a clump of trees of about half an acre. +We cleared away the snow for about six feet round a very hollow part, +and then O'Brien cut stakes and fixed them in the earth, to which we +stretched one blanket. The snow being about two feet deep, there was +plenty of room to creep underneath the blanket. We then collected all +the leaves we could, beating the snow off them, and laid them at the +bottom of the hole; over the leaves we spread the other blanket, and +taking our bundles in, we then stopped up with snow every side of the +upper blanket, except the hole to creep in at. It was quite astonishing +what a warm place this became in a short time after we had remained in +it. It was almost too warm, although the weather outside was piercingly +cold. After a good meal and a dose of brandy, we both fell fast asleep, +but not until I had taken off my woman's attire and resumed my own +clothes. We never slept better or more warmly than we did in this hole +which we had made on the ground, covered with ice and snow. + + + + +Chapter XXV + +O'Brien parts company to hunt for provisions, and I have other company +in consequence of another hunt--O'Brien pathetically mourns my death and +finds me alive--We escape. + + +The ensuing morning we looked out anxiously for the promised assistance, +for we were not very rich in provisions, although what we had were of a +very good quality. It was not until three o'clock in the afternoon that +we perceived a little girl coming towards us, escorted by a large +mastiff. When she arrived at the copse of trees where we lay concealed, +she cried out to the dog in Dutch, who immediately scoured the wood +until he came to our hiding-place, when he crouched down at the +entrance, barking furiously, and putting us in no small dread, lest he +should attack us; but the little girl spoke to him again, and he +remained in the same position, looking at us, wagging his tail, with his +under jaw lying on the snow. She soon came up, and looking underneath, +put a basket in, and nodded her head. We emptied the basket. O'Brien +took out a napoleon and offered it to her; she refused it, but O'Brien +forced it into her hand, upon which she again spoke to the dog, who +commenced barking so furiously at us, that we expected every moment he +would fly upon us. The girl at the same time presented the napoleon, and +pointing to the dog, I went forward and took the napoleon from her, at +which she immediately silenced the enormous brute, and laughing at us, +hastened away. + +"By the powers, that's a fine little girl!" said O'Brien; "I'll back her +and her dog against any man. Well, I never had a dog set at me for +giving money before, but we live and learn, Peter; now let's see what +she brought in the basket." We found hard-boiled eggs, bread, and a +smoked mutton ham, with a large bottle of gin. "What a nice little girl! +I hope she will often favour us with her company. I've been thinking, +Peter, that we're quite as well off here, as in a midshipman's berth." + +"You forget you are a lieutenant." + +"Well, so I did, Peter, and that's the truth, but it's the force of +habit. Now let's make our dinner. It's a new-fashioned way though, of +making a meal, lying down; but however, it's economical, for it must +take longer to swallow the victuals." + +"The Romans used to eat their meals lying down, so I have read, +O'Brien." + +"I can't say that I ever heard it mentioned in Ireland, but that don't +prove that it was not the case; so, Peter, I'll take your word for it. +Murder! how fast it snows again! I wonder what my father's thinking on +just at this moment." + +This observation of O'Brien induced us to talk about our friends and +relations in England, and after much conversation we fell fast asleep. +The next morning we found the snow had fallen about eight inches, and +weighed down our upper blanket so much, that we were obliged to go out +and cut stakes to support it up from the inside. While we were thus +employed, we heard a loud noise and shouting, and perceived several men, +apparently armed and accompanied with dogs, running straight in the +direction of the wood where we were encamped. We were much alarmed, +thinking that they were in search of us, but on a sudden they turned off +in another direction, continuing with the same speed as before. "What +could it be?" said I, to O'Brien. "I can't exactly say, Peter; but I +should think that they were hunting something, and the only game that I +think likely to be in such a place as this are otters." I was of the +same opinion. We expected the little girl, but she did not come, and +after looking out for her till dark, we crawled into our hole and supped +upon the remainder of our provisions. + +The next day, as may be supposed, we were very anxious for her arrival, +but she did not appear at the time expected. Night again came on, and we +went to bed without having any sustenance, except a small piece of bread +that was left, and some gin which was remaining in the flask. "Peter," +said O'Brien, "if she don't come again to-morrow, I'll try what I can +do; for I've no idea of our dying of hunger here, like the two babes in +the wood, and being found covered up with dead leaves. If she does not +appear at three o'clock, I'm off for provisions, and I don't see much +danger, for in this dress I look as much of a boor as any man in +Holland." + +We passed an uneasy night, as we felt convinced, either that the danger +was so great that they dared not venture to assist us, or, that being +over-ruled, they had betrayed us, and left us to manage how we could. +The next morning I climbed up the only large tree in the copse and +looked round, especially in the direction of the farm-house belonging to +the woman who had pointed out to us our place of concealment; but +nothing was to be seen but one vast tract of flat country covered with +snow, and now and then a vehicle passing at a distance on the Middelburg +road. I descended, and found O'Brien preparing for a start. He was very +melancholy, and said to me, "Peter, if I am taken, you must, at all +risks, put on your girl's clothes and go to Flushing to the cabaret. The +women there, I am sure, will protect you, and send you back to England. +I only want two napoleons; take all the rest, you will require them. If +I am not back by to-night, set off for Flushing to-morrow morning." +O'Brien waited some time longer, talking with me, and it then being past +four o'clock, he shook me by the hand, and, without speaking, left the +wood. I never felt more miserable during the whole time since we were +first put into prison at Toulon, till that moment, and, when he was a +hundred yards off, I knelt down and prayed. He had been absent two +hours, and it was quite dusk, when I heard a noise at a distance: it +advanced every moment nearer and nearer. On a sudden, I heard a rustling +of the bushes, and hastened under the blanket, which was covered with +snow, in hopes that they might not perceive the entrance; but I was +hardly there before in dashed after me an enormous wolf. I cried out, +expecting to be torn to pieces every moment, but the creature lay on his +belly, his mouth wide open, his eyes glaring, and his long tongue +hanging out of his mouth, and although he touched me, he was so +exhausted that he did not attack me. The noise increased, and I +immediately perceived that it was the hunters in pursuit of him. I had +crawled in feet first, the wolf ran in head foremost, so that we lay +head and tail. I crept out as fast as I could, and perceived men and +dogs not two hundred yards off in full chase. I hastened to the large +tree, and had not ascended six feet when they came up; the dogs flew to +the hole, and in a very short time the wolf was killed. The hunters +being too busy to observe me, I had in the meantime climbed up the trunk +of the tree, and hidden myself as well as I could. Being not fifteen +yards from them, I heard their expressions of surprise as they lifted up +the blanket and dragged out the dead wolf, which they carried away with +them; their conversation being in Dutch, I could not understand it, but +I was certain that they made use of the word "_English_." The hunters +and dogs quitted the copse, and I was about to descend, when one of them +returned, and pulling up the blankets, rolled them together and walked +away with them. Fortunately he did not perceive our bundles by the +little light given by the moon. I waited a short time and then came +down. What to do I knew not. If I did not remain and O'Brien returned, +what would he think? If I did, I should be dead with cold before the +morning. I looked for our bundles, and found that in the conflict +between the dogs and the wolf, they had been buried among the leaves. I +recollected O'Brien's advice, and dressed myself in the girl's clothes, +but I could not make up my mind to go to Flushing. So I resolved to walk +towards the farmhouse, which, being close to the road, would give me a +chance of meeting with O'Brien. I soon arrived there and prowled round +it for some time, but the doors and windows were all fast, and I dared +not knock, after what the woman had said about her husband's inveteracy +to the English. At last, as I looked round and round, quite at a loss +what to do, I thought I saw a figure at a distance proceeding in the +direction of the copse. I hastened after it and saw it enter. I then +advanced very cautiously, for although I thought it might be O'Brien, +yet it was possible that it was one of the men who chased the wolf in +search of more plunder. But I soon heard O'Brien's voice, and I hastened +towards him. I was close to him without his perceiving me, and found him +sitting down with his face covered up in his two hands. At last he +cried, "O Pater! my poor Pater! are you taken at last? Could I not leave +you for one hour in safety? Ochone! why did I leave you? My poor, poor +Pater! simple you were, sure enough, and that's why I loved you; but, +Pater, I would have made a man of you, for you'd all the materials, +that's the truth--and a fine man, too. Where am I to look for you, +Pater? Where am I to find you, Pater? You're fast locked up by this +time, and all my trouble's gone for nothing. But I'll be locked up too, +Pater. Where you are, will I be; and if we can't go to England together, +why then we'll go back to that blackguard hole at Givet together. +Ochone! Ochone!" O'Brien spoke no more, but burst into tears. I was much +affected with this proof of O'Brien's sincere regard, and I came to his +side and clasped him in my arms. O'Brien stared at me, "Who are you, you +ugly Dutch frow?" (for he had quite forgotten the woman's dress at the +moment), but recollecting himself, he hugged me in his arms. "Pater, you +come as near to an angel's shape as you can, for you come in that of a +woman, to comfort me; for, to tell the truth, I was very much distressed +at not finding you here; and all the blankets gone to boot. What has +been the matter?" I explained in as few words as I could. + +"Well, Peter, I'm happy to find you all safe, and much happier to find +that you can be trusted when I leave you, for you could not have behaved +more prudently; now I'll tell you what I did, which was not much, as it +happened. I knew that there was no cabaret between us and Flushing, for +I took particular notice as I came along; so I took the road to +Middelburg, and found but one, which was full of soldiers. I passed it, +and found no other. As I came back past the same cabaret, one of the +soldiers came out to me, but I walked along the road. He quickened his +pace, and so did I mine, for I expected mischief. At last he came up to +me, and spoke to me in Dutch, to which I gave him no answer. He collared +me, and then I thought it convenient to pretend that I was deaf and +dumb. I pointed to my mouth with an Au--au--and then to my ears, and +shook my head; but he would not be convinced, and I heard him say +something about English. I then knew that there was no time to be lost, +so I first burst out into a loud laugh and stopped; and on his +attempting to force me, I kicked up his heels, and he fell on the ice +with such a rap on the pate, that I doubt if he has recovered it by this +time. There I left him, and have run back as hard as I could, without +anything for Peter to fill his little hungry inside with. Now, Peter, +what's your opinion? for they say that out of the mouth of babes there +is wisdom; and although I never saw anything come out of their mouths +but sour milk, yet perhaps I may be more fortunate this time, for, +Peter, you're but a baby." + +"Not a small one, O'Brien, although not quite so large as Fingal's +_babby_ that you told me the story of. My idea is this.--Let us, at all +hazards, go to the farmhouse. They have assisted us, and may be inclined +to do so again; if they refuse, we must push on to Flushing and take our +chance." + +"Well," observed O'Brien, after a pause, "I think we can do no better, +so let's be off." We went to the farmhouse, and, as we approached the +door, were met by the great mastiff. I started back, O'Brien boldly +advanced. "He's a clever dog, and may know us again. I'll go up," said +O'Brien, not stopping while he spoke, "and pat his head: if he flies at +me, I shall be no worse than I was before, for depend upon it he will +not allow us to go back again." O'Brien by this time had advanced to the +dog, who looked earnestly and angrily at him. He patted his head, the +dog growled, but O'Brien put his arm round his neck, and patting him +again, whistled to him, and went to the door of the farmhouse. The dog +followed him silently but closely. O'Brien knocked, and the door was +opened by the little girl: the mastiff advanced to the girl, and then +turned round, facing O'Brien, as much as to say, "Is he to come in?" The +girl spoke to the dog, and went indoors. During her absence the mastiff +lay down at the threshold. In a few seconds the woman who had brought us +from Flushing, came out, and desired us to enter. She spoke very good +French, and told us that fortunately her husband was absent; that the +reason why we had not been supplied was, that a wolf had met her little +girl returning the other day, but had been beaten off by the mastiff, +and that she was afraid to allow her to go again; that she heard the +wolf had been killed this evening, and had intended her girl to have +gone to us early to-morrow morning; that wolves were hardly known in +that country, but that the severe winter had brought them down to the +lowlands, a very rare circumstance, occurring perhaps not once in twenty +years. "But how did you pass the mastiff?" said she; "that has surprised +my daughter and me." O'Brien told her, upon which she said "that the +English were really '_des braves_.' No other man had ever done the +same." So I thought, for nothing would have induced me to do it. O'Brien +then told the history of the death of the wolf, with all particulars, +and our intention, if we could not do better, of returning to Flushing. + +"I heard that Pierre Eustache came home yesterday," replied the woman; +"and I do think that you will be safer there than here, for they will +never think of looking for you among the _casernes_, which join their +cabaret." + +"Will you lend us your assistance to get in?" + +"I will see what I can do. But are you not hungry?" + +"About as hungry as men who have eaten nothing for two days." + +"_Mon Dieu! c'est vrai._ I never thought it was so long, but those whose +stomachs are filled forget those who are empty. God make us better and +more charitable!" + +She spoke to the little girl in Dutch, who hastened to load the table, +which we hastened to empty. The little girl stared at our voracity; but +at last she laughed out, and clapped her hands at every fresh mouthful +which we took, and pressed us to eat more. She allowed me to kiss her, +until her mother told her that I was not a woman, when she pouted at me, +and beat me off. Before midnight we were fast asleep upon the benches +before the kitchen fire, and at daybreak were roused up by the woman, +who offered us some bread and spirits, and then we went out to the door, +where we found the horse and cart all ready, and loaded with vegetables +for the market. The woman, the little girl, and myself got in, O'Brien +leading as before, and the mastiff following. We had learnt the dog's +name, which was "_Achille_," and he seemed to be quite fond of us. We +passed the dreaded barriers without interruption, and in ten minutes +entered the cabaret of Eustache; and immediately walked into the little +room through a crowd of soldiers, two of whom chucked me under the chin. +Whom should we find there but Eustache, the pilot himself, in +conversation with his wife, and it appeared that they were talking about +us, she insisting, and he unwilling to have any hand in the business. +"Well, here they are themselves, Eustache; the soldiers who have seen +them come in will never believe that this is their first entry if you +give them up. I leave them to make their own bargain; but mark me, +Eustache, I have slaved night and day in this cabaret for your profit; +if you do not oblige me and my family, I no longer keep a cabaret for +you." + +Madame Eustache then quitted the room with her husband's sister and +little girl, and O'Brien immediately accosted him. "I promise you," said +he to Eustache, "one hundred louis if you put us on shore at any part of +England, or on board of any English man-of-war; and if you do it within +a week, I will make it twenty louis more." O'Brien then pulled out the +fifty napoleons given us by Celeste, for our own were not yet expended, +and laid them on the table. "Here is this in advance, to prove my +sincerity. Say, is it a bargain or not?" + +"I never yet heard of a poor man who could withstand his wife's +arguments, backed with one hundred and twenty louis," said Eustache +smiling, and sweeping the money off the table. + +"I presume you have no objection to start to-night? That will be ten +louis more in your favour," replied O'Brien. + +"I shall earn them," replied Eustache. "The sooner I am off the better, +for I could not long conceal you here. The young frow with you is, I +suppose, your companion that my wife mentioned. He has begun to suffer +hardships early. Come, now, sit down and talk, for nothing can be done +till dark." + +O'Brien narrated the adventures attending our escape, at which Eustache +laughed heartily; the more so, at the mistake which his wife was under, +as to the obligations of the family. "If I did not feel inclined to +assist you before, I do now, just for the laugh I shall have at her when +I come back, and if she wants any more assistance for the sake of her +relations, I shall remind her of this anecdote; but she's a good woman +and a good wife to boot, only too fond of her sisters." At dusk he +equipped us both in sailor's jackets and trowsers, and desired us to +follow him boldly. He passed the guard, who knew him well. "What, to sea +already?" said one. "You have quarrelled with your wife." At which they +all laughed, and we joined. We gained the beach, jumped into his little +boat, pulled off to his vessel, and, in a few minutes, were under weigh. +With a strong tide and a fair wind we were soon clear of the Scheldt, +and the next morning a cutter hove in sight. We steered for her, ran +under her lee, O'Brien hailed for a boat, and Eustache, receiving my +bill for the remainder of his money, wished us success; we shook hands, +and in a few minutes found ourselves once more under the British +pennant. + + + + +Chapter XXVI + +Adventures at home--I am introduced to my grandfather--He obtains +employment for O'Brien and myself, and we join a frigate. + + +As soon as we were on the deck of the cutter, the lieutenant commanding +her inquired of us, in a consequential manner, who we were. O'Brien +replied that we were English prisoners who had escaped. "Oh, midshipmen, +I presume," replied the lieutenant; "I heard that some had contrived to +get away." + +"My name, sir," said O'Brien, "is Lieutenant O'Brien; and if you'll send +for a 'Steel's List,' I will have the honour of pointing it out to you. +This young gentleman is Mr Peter Simple, midshipman, and grandson to the +Right Honourable Lord Viscount Privilege." + +The lieutenant, who was a little snub-nosed man, with a pimply face, +then altered his manner towards us, and begged we would step down into +the cabin, where he offered, what perhaps was the greatest of all +luxuries to us, some English cheese and bottled porter. "Pray," said he, +"did you see anything of one of my officers, who was taken prisoner when +I was sent with despatches to the Mediterranean fleet?" + +"May I first ask the name of your lively little craft?" said O'Brien. + +"'The Snapper,'" replied the lieutenant. + +"Och, murder; sure enough we met him. He was sent to Verdun, but we had +the pleasure of his company _en route_ as far as Montpelier. A +remarkably genteel, well-dressed young man, was he not?" + +"Why, I can't say much about his gentility; indeed, I am not much of a +judge. As for his dress, he ought to have dressed well, but he never did +when on board of me. His father is my tailor, and I took him as +midshipman, just to square an account between us." + +"That's exactly what I thought," replied O'Brien. + +He did not say any more, which I was glad of, as the lieutenant might +not have been pleased at what had occurred. + +"When do you expect to run into port?" demanded O'Brien; for we were +rather anxious to put our feet ashore again in old England. The +lieutenant replied that his cruise was nearly up; and he considered our +arrival quite sufficient reason for him to run in directly, and that he +intended to put his helm up after the people had had their dinner. We +were much delighted with this intelligence, and still more to see the +intention put into execution half an hour afterwards. + +In three days we anchored at Spithead, and went on shore with the +lieutenant to report ourselves to the admiral. Oh! with what joy did I +first put my foot on the shingle beach at Sallyport, and then hasten to +the post-office to put in a long letter which I had written to my +mother. We did not go to the admiral's, but merely reported ourselves at +the admiral's office; for we had no clothes fit to appear in. But we +called at Meredith's the tailor, and he promised that, by the next +morning, we should be fitted complete. We then ordered new hats, and +everything we required, and went to the Fountain inn. O'Brien refused to +go to the Blue Posts, as being only a receptacle for midshipmen. By +eleven o'clock the next morning, we were fit to appear before the +admiral, who received us very kindly, and requested our company to +dinner. As I did not intend setting off for home until I had received an +answer from my mother, we, of course, accepted the invitation. + +There was a large party of naval officers and ladies, and O'Brien amused +them very much during dinner. When the ladies left the room, the +admiral's wife told me to come up with them; and when we arrived at the +drawing-room, the ladies all gathered round me, and I had to narrate the +whole of my adventures, which very much entertained and interested them. +The next morning I received a letter from my mother--such a kind one! +entreating me to come home as fast as I could, and bring my _preserver_ +O'Brien with me. I showed it to O'Brien, and asked him whether he would +accompany me. + +"Why, Peter, my boy, I have a little business of some importance to +transact; which is, to obtain my arrears of pay, and some prize-money +which I find due. When I have settled that point, I will go to town to +pay my respects to the First Lord of the Admiralty, and then I think I +will go and see your father and mother: for, until I know how matters +stand, and whether I shall be able to go with spare cash in my pocket, I +do not wish to see my own family; so write down your address here, and +you'll be sure I'll come, if it is only to square my accounts with you, +for I am not a little in your debt." + +I cashed a cheque sent by my father, and set off in the mail that night; +the next evening I arrived safe home. But I shall leave the reader to +imagine the scene: to my mother I was always dear, and circumstances had +rendered me of some importance to my father; for I was now an only son, +and his prospects were very different from what they were when I left +home. About a week afterwards, O'Brien joined us, having got through all +his business. His first act was to account with my father for his share +of the expenses; and he even insisted upon paying his half of the fifty +napoleons given me by Celeste, which had been remitted to a banker at +Paris before O'Brien's arrival, with a guarded letter of thanks from my +father to Colonel O'Brien, and another from me to dear little Celeste. +When O'Brien had remained with us about a week, he told me that he had +about one hundred and sixty pounds in his pocket, and that he intended +to go and see his friends, as he was sure that he would be welcome even +to Father M'Grath. "I mean to stay with them about a fortnight, and +shall then return and apply for employment. Now, Peter, will you like to +be again under my protection?" + +"O'Brien, I will never quit you or your ship, if I can help it." + +"Spoken like a sensible Peter. Well, then, I was promised immediate +employment, and I will let you know as soon as the promise is +performed." + +O'Brien took his leave of my family, who were already very partial to +him, and left that afternoon for Holyhead. My father no longer treated +me as a child; indeed, it would have been an injustice if he had. I do +not mean to say that I was a clever boy; but I had seen much of the +world in a short time, and could act and think for myself. He often +talked to me about his prospects, which were very different from what +they were when I left him. My two uncles, his elder brothers, had died, +the third was married and had two daughters. If he had no son, my father +would succeed to the title. The death of my elder brother Tom had +brought me next in succession. My grandfather, Lord Privilege, who had +taken no more notice of my father than occasionally sending him a basket +of game, had latterly often invited him to the house, and had even +requested, _some day or another_, to see his wife and family. He had +also made a handsome addition to my father's income, which the death of +my two uncles had enabled him to do. Against all this, my uncle's wife +was reported to be again in the family way. I cannot say that I was +pleased when my father used to speculate upon these chances so often as +he did. I thought, not only as a man, but more particularly as a +clergyman, he was much to blame; but I did not know then so much of the +world. We had not heard from O'Brien for two months, when a letter +arrived, stating that he had seen his family, and bought a few acres of +land, which had made them all quite happy, and had quitted with Father +M'Grath's double blessing, with unlimited absolution; that he had now +been a month in town trying for employment, but found that he could not +obtain it, although one promise was backed up by another. + +A few days after this, my father received a note from Lord Privilege, +requesting he would come and spend a few days with him, and bring his +son Peter who had escaped from the French prison. Of course this was an +invitation not to be neglected, and we accepted it forthwith. I must +say, I felt rather in awe of my grandfather; he had kept the family at +such a distance, that I had always heard his name mentioned more with +reverence than with any feeling of kindred, but I was a little wiser +now. We arrived at Eagle Park, a splendid estate, where he resided, and +were received by a dozen servants in and out of livery, and ushered into +his presence. He was in his library, a large room, surrounded with +handsome bookcases, sitting on an easy chair. A more venerable, placid +old gentleman I never beheld; his grey hairs hung down on each side of +his temples, and were collected in a small _queue_ behind. He rose and +bowed, as we were announced; to my father he held out _two_ fingers in +salutation, to me only _one_, but there was an elegance in the manner in +which it was done which was indescribable. He waved his hand to chairs, +placed by the _gentleman_ out of livery, and requested we would be +seated. I could not, at the time, help thinking of Mr Chucks, the +boatswain, and his remarks upon high breeding, which were so true: and I +laughed to myself when I recollected that Mr Chucks had once dined with +him. As soon as the servants had quitted the room, the distance on the +part of my grandfather appeared to wear off. He interrogated me on +several points, and seemed pleased with my replies; but he always called +me "child." After a conversation of half an hour, my father rose, saying +that his lordship must be busy, and that we would go over the grounds +till dinner-time. My grandfather rose, and we took a sort of formal +leave; but it was not a formal leave, after all, it was high breeding, +respecting yourself and respecting others. For my part, I was pleased +with the first interview, and so I told my father after we had left the +room. "My dear Peter," replied he, "your grandfather has one idea which +absorbs most others--the peerage, the estate, and the descent of it in +the right line. As long as your uncles were alive, we were not thought +of, as not being in the line of descent; nor should we now, but that +your uncle William has only daughters. Still we are not looked upon as +actual, but only contingent, inheritors of the title. Were your uncle to +die to-morrow, the difference in his behaviour would be manifested +immediately." + +"That is to say, instead of _two fingers_ you would receive the _whole_ +hand, and instead of _one_ finger, I should obtain promotion to _two_." + +At this my father laughed heartily, saying, "Peter, you have exactly hit +the mark. I cannot imagine how we ever could have been so blind as to +call you the fool of the family." + +To this I made no reply, for it was difficult so to do without +depreciating others or depreciating myself; but I changed the subject by +commenting on the beauties of the park, and the splendid timber with +which it was adorned. "Yes, Peter," replied my father, with a sigh, +"thirty-five thousand a year in land, money in the funds, and timber +worth at least forty thousand more, are not to be despised. But God +wills everything." After this remark, my father appeared to be in deep +thought, and I did not interrupt him. + +We stayed ten days with my grandfather, during which he would often +detain me for two hours after breakfast, listening to my adventures, and +I really believe was very partial to me. The day before I went away he +said, "Child, you are going to-morrow; now tell me what you would like, +as I wish to give you a token of regard. Don't be afraid; what shall it +be--a watch and seals, or--anything you most fancy?" + +"My lord," replied I, "if you wish to do me a favour, it is, that you +will apply to the First Lord of the Admiralty to appoint Lieutenant +O'Brien to a fine frigate, and, at the same time, ask for a vacancy as +midshipman for me." + +"O'Brien!" replied his lordship; "I recollect it was he who accompanied +you from France, and appears, by your account, to have been a true +friend. I am pleased with your request, my child, and it shall be +granted." + +His lordship then desired me to hand him the paper and ink-standish, +wrote by my directions, sealed the letter, and told me he would send me +the answer. The next day we quitted Eagle Park, his lordship wishing my +father good-bye with _two_ fingers, and to me extending _one_, as +before; but he said, "I am pleased with you, child; you may write +occasionally." + +When we were on our route home, my father observed that "I had made more +progress with my grandfather than he had known anyone to do, since he +could recollect. His saying that you might write to him is at least ten +thousand pounds to you in his will, for he never deceives any one, or +changes his mind." My reply was, that I should like to see the ten +thousand pounds, but that I was not so sanguine. + +A few days after our return home, I received a letter and enclosure from +Lord Privilege, the contents of which were as follow:-- + +"My dear Child,--I send you Lord----'s answer, which I trust will prove +satisfactory. My compliments to your family.--Yours, &c., PRIVILEGE." + +The inclosure was a handsome letter from the First Lord, stating that he +had appointed O'Brien to the _Sanglier_ frigate, and had ordered me to +be received on board as midshipman. I was delighted to forward this +letter to O'Brien's address, who, in a few days sent me an answer, +thanking me, and stating that he had received his 'appointment, and that +I need not join for a month, which was quite time enough, as the ship +was refitting; but, that if my family were tired of me, which was +sometimes the case in the best regulated families, why, then I should +learn something of my duty by coming to Portsmouth. He concluded by +sending his kind regards to all the family, and his _love_ to my +grandfather, which last I certainly did not forward in my letter of +thanks. About a month afterwards I received a letter from O'Brien, +stating that the ship was ready to go out of harbour, and would be +anchored off Spithead in a few days. + + + + +Chapter XXVII + +Captain and Mrs To--Pork--We go to Plymouth, and fall in with our old +Captain. + + +I immediately took leave of my family, and set off for Portsmouth, and +in two days arrived at the Fountain inn, where O'Brien was waiting to +receive me. "Peter, my boy, I feel so much obliged to you, that if your +uncle won't go out of the world by fair means, I'll pick a quarrel with +him, and shoot him, on purpose that you may be a lord, as I am +determined you shall be. Now come up into my room, where we'll be all +alone, and I'll tell you all about the ship and our new captain. In the +first place, we'll begin with the ship, as the most important personage +of the two: she's a beauty, I forget her name before she was taken, but +the French know how to build ships better than keep them. She's now +called the _Sanglier_, which means a wild pig, and, by the powers! a +_pig_ ship she is, as you will hear directly. The captain's name is a +very short one, and wouldn't please Mr Chucks, consisting only of two +letters, T and O, which makes To; his whole title is Captain John To. It +would almost appear as if somebody had broken off the better half of his +name, and only left him the commencement of it; but, however, it's a +handy name to sign when he pays off his ship. And now I'll tell you what +sort of a looking craft he is. He's built like a Dutch schuyt, great +breadth of beam, and very square tuck. He applied to have the quarter +galleries enlarged in the two last ships he commanded. He weighs about +eighteen stone, rather more than less. He is a good-natured sort of a +chap, amazingly ungenteel, not much of an officer, not much of a sailor, +but a devilish good hand at the trencher. But he's only part of the +concern; he has his wife on board, who is a red-herring sort of a lady, +and very troublesome to boot. What makes her still more annoying is, +that she has a _piano_ on board, very much out of _tune_, on which she +plays very much out of _time_. Holystoning is music compared with her +playing: even the captain's spaniel howls when she comes to the high +notes; but she affects the fine lady, and always treats the officers +with music when they dine in the cabin, which makes them very glad to +get out of it." + +"But, O'Brien, I thought wives were not permitted on board." + +"Very true, but there's the worst part in the man's character: he knows +that he is not allowed to take his wife to sea, and, in consequence, he +never says she _is_ his wife, or presents her on shore to anybody. If +any of the other captains ask how Mrs To is to-day? 'Why,' he replies, +'pretty well, I thank you;' but at the same time he gives a kind of +smirk, as if to say, 'She is not my wife;' and although everybody knows +that she is, yet he prefers that they should think otherwise, rather +than be at the expense of keeping her on shore; for you know, Peter, +that although there are regulations about wives, there are none with +regard to other women." + +"But does his wife know this?" inquired I. + +"I believe, from my heart, she is a party to the whole transaction, for +report says, that she would skin a flint if she could. She's always +trying for presents from the officers, and, in fact, she commands the +ship." + +"Really, O'Brien, this is not a very pleasant prospect." + +"Whist! wait a little; now I come to the wind-up. This Captain To is +very partial to pig's _mate_, and we have as many live pigs on board as +we have pigs of ballast. The first lieutenant is right mad about them. +At the same time he allows no pigs but his own on board, that there may +be no confusion. The manger is full of pigs; there are two cow-pens +between the main-deck guns, drawn from the dock-yard, and converted into +pig-pens. The two sheep-pens amidships are full of pigs, and the geese +and turkey-coops are divided off into apartments for four _sows_ in the +_family way_. Now, Peter, you see there's little or no expense in +keeping pigs on board of a large frigate, with so much _pay_-soup and +whole peas for them to eat, and this is the reason why he keeps them, +for the devil a bit of any other stock has he on board. I presume he +means to _milk_ one of the _old sows_ for breakfast when the ship sails. +The first thing that he does in the morning, is to go round to his pigs +with the butcher, feeling one, scratching the dirty ears of another, and +then he classes them--his _bacon_ pigs, his _porkers_, his _breeding_ +sows, and so on. The old boar is still at the stables of this inn, but I +hear he is to come on board with the sailing orders: but he is very +savage, and is therefore left on shore to the very last moment. Now +really, Peter, what with the squealing of the pigs and his wife's piano, +we are almost driven mad. I don't know which is the worse of the two; if +you go aft you hear the one, if you go forward you hear the other, by +way of variety, and that, they say, is charming. But, is it not shocking +that such a beautiful frigate should be turned into a pig-sty, and that +her main-deck should smell worse than a muckheap?" + +"But how does his wife like the idea of living only upon hog's flesh?" + +"She! Lord bless you, Peter! why, she looks as spare as a shark, and she +has just the appetite of one, for she'll _bolt_ a four-pound piece of +pork before it's well put on her plate." + +"Have you any more such pleasant intelligence to communicate, O'Brien?" + +"No, Peter; you have the worst of it. The lieutenants are good officers +and pleasant messmates: the doctor is a little queer, and the purser +thinks himself a wag; the master, an old north-countryman, who knows his +duty, and takes his glass of grog. The midshipmen are a very genteel set +of young men, and full of fun and frolic. I'll bet a wager there'll be a +bobbery in the pig-sty before long, for they are ripe for mischief. Now, +Peter, I hardly need say that my cabin and everything I have is at your +service; and I think if we could only have a devil of a gale of wind, or +a hard-fought action, to send the _pigs_ overboard and smash the +_piano_, we should do very well." + +The next day I went on board, and was shown down into the cabin, to +report my having joined. Mrs To, a tall thin woman, was at her piano; +she rose, and asked me several questions--who my friends were--how much +they allowed me a year, and many other questions, which I thought +impertinent: but a captain's wife is allowed to take liberties. She then +asked me if I was fond of music? That was a difficult question, as, if I +said that I was, I should in all probability be obliged to hear it: if I +said that I was not, I might have created a dislike in her. So I +replied, that I was very fond of music on shore, when it was not +interrupted by other noise. "Ah! then I perceive you are a real amateur, +Mr Simple," replied the lady. + +Captain To then came out of the after-cabin, half-dressed. "Well, +youngster, so you've joined us at last. Come and dine with us to-day? +and, as you go down to your berth, desire the sentry to pass the word +for the butcher; I want to speak with him." + +I bowed and retired. I was met in the most friendly manner by the +officers and by my own messmates, who had been prepossessed in my favour +by O'Brien, previous to my arrival. In our service you always find young +men of the best families on board large frigates, they being considered +the most eligible class of vessels; I found my messmates to be +gentlemen, with one or two exceptions, but I never met so many wild +young lads together. I sat down and ate some dinner with them, although +I was to dine in the cabin, for the sea air made me hungry. + +"Don't you dine in the cabin, Simple?" said the caterer. + +"Yes," replied I. + +"Then don't eat any pork, my boy, now, for you'll have plenty there. +Come, gentlemen, fill your glasses; we'll drink happiness to our new +messmate, and pledging him, we pledge ourselves to try to promote it." + +"I'll just join you in that toast," said O'Brien, walking into the +midshipmen's berth. "What is it you're drinking it in?" + +"Some of Collier's port, sir. Boy, bring a glass for Mr O'Brien." + +"Here's your health, Peter, and wishing you may keep out of a French +prison this cruise. Mr Montague, as caterer, I will beg you will order +another candle, that I may see what's on the table, and then perhaps I +may find something I should like to pick a bit off." + +"Here's the fag end of a leg of mutton, Mr O'Brien, and there's a piece +of boiled pork." + +"Then I'll just trouble you for a bit close to the knuckle. Peter, you +dine in the cabin, so do I--the doctor refused." + +"Have you heard when we sail, Mr O'Brien?" inquired one of my messmates. + +"I heard at the admiral's office, that we were expected to be ordered +round to Plymouth, and receive our orders there, either for the East or +West Indies, they thought; and, indeed, the stores we have taken on +board indicate that we are going foreign, but the captain's signal is +just made, and probably the admiral has intelligence to communicate." + +In about an hour afterwards, the captain returned, looking very red and +hot. He called the first lieutenant aside from the rest of the officers, +who were on deck to receive him, and told him, that we were to start for +Plymouth next morning; and the admiral had told him confidentially, that +we were to proceed to the West Indies with a convoy, which was then +collecting. He appeared to be very much alarmed at the idea of going to +make a feast for the land crabs; and certainly, his gross habit of body +rendered him very unfit for the climate. This news was soon spread +through the ship, and there was of course no little bustle and +preparation. The doctor, who had refused to dine in the cabin upon plea +of being unwell, sent up to say, that he felt himself so much better, +that he should have great pleasure to attend the summons, and he joined +the first lieutenant, O'Brien, and me, as we walked in. We sat down to +table; the covers were removed, and as the midshipmen prophesied, there +was plenty of _pork_--mock-turtle soup, made out of a pig's head--a +boiled leg of pork and peas-pudding--a roast spare-rib, with the +crackling on--sausages and potatoes, and pig's pettitoes. I cannot say +that I disliked my dinner, and I ate very heartily; but a roast +sucking-pig came on as a second course, which rather surprised me; but +what surprised me more, was the quantity devoured by Mrs To. She handed +her plate from the boiled pork to the roast, asked for some pettitoes, +tried the sausages, and finished with a whole plateful of sucking-pig +and stuffing. We had an apple pie at the end, but as we had already +eaten apple sauce with the roast pork, we did not care for it. The +doctor, who abominated pork, ate pretty well, and was excessively +attentive to Mrs To. + +"Will you not take a piece of the roast pig, doctor?" said the captain. + +"Why, really Captain To, as we are bound, by all reports, to a station +where we must not venture upon pork, I think I will not refuse to take a +piece, for I am very fond of it." + +"How do you mean?" inquired the captain and his lady, both in a breath. + +"Perhaps I may be wrongly informed," replied the doctor, "but I have +heard that we were ordered to the West Indies; now, if so, everyone +knows, that although you may eat salt pork there occasionally without +danger, in all tropical climates, and especially the West Indies, two or +three days' living upon this meat will immediately produce dysentery, +which is always fatal in that climate." + +"Indeed!" exclaimed the captain. + +"You don't say so!" rejoined the lady. + +"I do indeed: and have always avoided the West Indies for that very +reason--I am so fond of pork." + +The doctor then proceeded to give nearly one hundred instances of +messmates and shipmen who had been attacked with dysentery, from the +eating of fresh pork in the West Indies; and O'Brien, perceiving the +doctor's drift, joined him, telling some most astonishing accounts of +the dreadful effects of pork in a hot country. I think he said, that +when the French were blockaded, previous to the surrender of Martinique, +that, having nothing but pigs to eat, thirteen hundred out of seventeen +hundred soldiers and officers died in the course of three weeks, and the +others were so reduced by disease, that they were obliged to capitulate. +The doctor then changed the subject, and talked about the yellow fever, +and other diseases of the climate, so that, by his account, the West +India islands were but hospitals to die in. Those most likely to be +attacked, were men in full strong health. The spare men stood a better +chance. This conversation was carried on until it was time to leave--Mrs +To at last quite silent, and the captain gulping down his wine with a +sigh. When we rose from the table, Mrs To did not ask us, as usual, to +stay and hear a little music; she was, like her piano, not a little out +of tune. + +"By the powers, doctor, you did that nately," said O'Brien, as we left +the cabin. + +"O'Brien," said the doctor, "oblige me, and you, Mr Simple, oblige me +also, by not saying a word in the ship about what I have said; if it +once gets wind, I shall have done no good, but if you both hold your +tongues for a short time, I think I may promise you to get rid of +Captain To, his wife, and his pigs." We perceived the justice of his +observation, and promised secrecy. The next morning the ship sailed for +Plymouth, and Mrs To sent for the doctor, not being very well. The +doctor prescribed for her, and I believe, on my conscience, made her +worse on purpose. The illness of his wife, and his own fears, brought +Captain To more than usual in contact with the doctor, of whom he +frequently asked his candid opinion, as to his own chance in a hot +country. + +"Captain To," said the doctor, "_I_ never would have given my opinion, +if you had not asked it, for I am aware, that, as an officer, you would +never flinch from your duty, to whatever quarter of the globe you may be +ordered; but, as you have asked the question, I must say, with your full +habit of body, I think you would not stand a chance of living for more +than two months. At the same time, sir, I may be mistaken; but, at all +events, I must point out that Mrs To is of a very bilious habit, and I +trust you will not do such an injustice to an amiable woman, as to +permit her to accompany you." + +"Thanky, doctor, I'm much obliged to you," replied the captain, turning +round and going down the ladder to his cabin. We were then beating down +the channel; for, although we ran through the Needles with a fair wind, +it fell calm, and shifted to the westward, when we were abreast of +Portland. The next day the captain gave an order for a very fine pig to +be killed, for he was out of provisions. Mrs To still kept her bed, and +he therefore directed that a part should be salted, as he could have no +company. I was in the midshipman's berth, when some of them proposed +that we should get possession of the pig; and the plan they agreed upon +was as follows:--they were to go to the pen that night, and with a +needle stuck in a piece of wood, to prick the pig all over, and then rub +gunpowder into the parts wounded. This was done, and although the +butcher was up a dozen times during the night to ascertain what made the +pigs so uneasy, the midshipmen passed the needle from watch to watch, +until the pig was well tattooed in all parts. In the morning watch it +was killed, and when it had been scalded in the tub, and the hair taken +off, it appeared covered with blue spots. The midshipman of the morning +watch, who was on the main-deck, took care to point out to the butcher, +that the pork was _measly_, to which the man unwillingly assented, +stating, at the same time, that he could not imagine how it could be, +for a finer pig he had never put a knife into. The circumstance was +reported to the captain, who was much astonished. The doctor came in to +visit Mrs To, and the captain requested the doctor to examine the pig, +and give his opinion. Although this was not the doctor's province, yet, +as he had great reason for keeping intimate with the captain, he +immediately consented. Going forward, he met me, and I told him the +secret. "That will do," replied he; "it all tends to what we wish." The +doctor returned to the captain, and said, "that there was no doubt but +that the pig was measly, which was a complaint very frequent on board +ships, particularly in hot climates, where all pork became _measly_--one +great reason for its there proving so unwholesome." The captain sent for +the first lieutenant, and, with a deep sigh, ordered him to throw the +pig overboard; but the first lieutenant, who knew what had been done +from O'Brien, ordered the _master's mate_ to throw it overboard: the +master's mate, touching his hat, said, "Ay, ay, sir," and took it down +into the berth, where we cut it up, salted one half, and the other we +finished before we arrived at Plymouth, which was six days from the time +we left Portsmouth. On our arrival, we found part of the convoy lying +there, but no orders for us; and, to my great delight, on the following +day the _Diomede_ arrived, from a cruise off the Western Islands. I +obtained permission to go on board with O'Brien, and we once more +greeted our messmates. Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, went down to +Captain Savage, to say we were on board, and he requested us to come +into the cabin. He greeted us warmly, and gave us great credit for the +manner in which we had effected our escape. When we left the cabin, I +found Mr Chucks, the boatswain, waiting outside. + +"My dear Mr Simple, extend your flapper to me, for I'm delighted to see +you. I long to have a long talk with you." + +"And I should like it also, Mr Chucks, but I'm afraid we have not time; +I dine with Captain Savage to-day, and it only wants an hour of +dinner-time." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I've been looking at your frigate, and she's a beauty +--much larger than the _Diomede_." + +"And she behaves quite as well," replied I. "I think we are two hundred +tons larger. You've no idea of her size until you are on her decks." + +"I should like to be boatswain of her, Mr Simple; that is, with Captain +Savage, for I will not part with him." I had some more conversation with +Mr Chucks, but I was obliged to attend to others, who interrupted us. We +had a very pleasant dinner with our old captain, to whom we gave a +history of our adventures, and then we returned on board. + + + + +Chapter XXVIII + +We get rid of the pigs and piano-forte--The last boat on shore before +sailing--The First Lieutenant too hasty, and the consequences to me. + + +We waited three days, at the expiration of which, we heard that Captain +To was about to exchange with Captain Savage. We could not believe such +good news to be true, and we could not ascertain the truth of the +report, as the captain had gone on shore with Mrs To, who recovered fast +after she was out of our doctor's hands; so fast, indeed, that a week +afterwards, on questioning the steward, upon his return on board, how +Mrs To was, he replied, "O charming well again, sir, she has eaten a +_whole pig_, since she left the ship." But the report was true: Captain +To, afraid to go to the West Indies, had effected an exchange with +Captain Savage. Captain Savage was permitted, as was the custom of the +service, to bring his first lieutenant, his boatswain, and his barge's +crew with him. He joined a day or two before we sailed, and never was +there more joy on board: the only people miserable were the first +lieutenant, and those belonging to the _Sanglier_ who were obliged to +follow Captain To; who, with his wife, his pigs, and her piano, were all +got rid of in the course of one forenoon. + +I have already described pay-day on board of a man-of-war, but I think +that the two days before sailing are even more unpleasant; although, +generally speaking, all our money being spent, we are not sorry when we +once are fairly out of harbour, and find ourselves in _blue water_. The +men never work well on those days: they are thinking of their wives and +sweethearts, of the pleasure they had when at liberty on shore, where +they might get drunk without punishment; and many of them are either +half drunk at the time, or suffering from the effects of previous +intoxication. The ship is in disorder, and crowded with the variety of +stock and spare stores which are obliged to be taken on board in a +hurry, and have not yet been properly secured in their places. The first +lieutenant is cross, the officers are grave, and the poor midshipmen, +with all their own little comforts to attend to, are harassed and driven +about like post-horses. "Mr Simple," inquired the first lieutenant, +"where do you come from?" + +"From the gun wharf, sir, with the gunner's spare blocks, and +breechings." + +"Very well--send the marines aft to clear the boat, and pipe away the +first putter. Mr Simple, jump into the first cutter, and go to Mount +Wise for the officers. Be careful that none of your men leave the boat. +Come, be smart." + +Now, I had been away the whole morning, and it was then half-past one, +and I had had no dinner: but I said nothing, and went into the boat. As +soon as I was off, O'Brien, who stood by Mr Falcon, said, "Peter was +thinking of his dinner, poor fellow!" + +"I really quite forgot it," replied the first lieutenant, "there is so +much to do. He is a willing boy, and he shall dine in the gun-room when +he comes back." And so I did--so I lost nothing by not expostulating, +and gained more of the favour of the first lieutenant, who never forgot +what he called _zeal_. But the hardest trial of the whole, is to the +midshipman who is sent with the boat to purchase the supplies for the +cabin and gun-room on the day before the ship's sailing. It was my +misfortune to be ordered upon that service this time, and that very +unexpectedly. I had been ordered to dress myself to take the gig on +shore for the captain's orders, and was walking the deck with my very +best uniform and side arms, when the marine officer, who was the +gun-room caterer, came up to the first lieutenant, and asked him for a +boat. The boat was manned, and a midshipman ordered to take charge of +it; but when he came up, the first lieutenant recollecting that he had +come off two days before with only half his boat's crew, would not trust +him, and called out to me, "Here, Mr Simple, I must send you in this +boat; mind you are careful that none of the men leave it; and bring off +the sergeant of marines, who is on shore looking for the men who have +broken their liberty." Although I could not but feel proud of the +compliment, yet I did not much like going in my very best uniform, and +would have run down and changed it, but the marine officer and all the +people were in the boat, and I could not keep it waiting, so down the +side I went, and we shoved off. We had, besides the boat's crew, the +marine officer, the purser, the gun-room steward, the captain's steward, +and the purser's steward; so that we were pretty full. It blew hard from +the S.E., and there was a sea running, but as the tide was flowing into +the harbour there was not much bubble. We hoisted the foresail, flew +before the wind and tide, and in a quarter of an hour we were at Mutton +Cove, when the marine officer expressed his wish to land. The +landing-place was crowded with boats, and it was not without sundry +exchanges of foul words and oaths, and the bow-men dashing the point of +their boat-hooks into the shore-boats, to make them keep clear of us, +that we forced our way to the beach. The marine officer and all the +stewards then left the boat, and I had to look after the men. I had not +been there three minutes before the bow-man said that his wife was on +the wharf with his clothes from the wash, and begged leave to go and +fetch them. I refused, telling him that she could bring them to him. "Vy +now, Mr Simple," said the woman, "ar'n't you a nice lady's man, to go +for to ax me to muddle my way through all the dead dogs, cabbage-stalks, +and stinking hakes' heads, with my bran new shoes and clean stockings?" +I looked at her, and sure enough she was, as they say in France, _bien +chaussee_. "Come, Mr Simple, let him out to come for his clothes, and +you'll see that he's back in a moment." I did not like to refuse her, as +it was very dirty and wet, and the shingle was strewed with all that she +had mentioned. The bow-man made a spring out with his boat-hook, threw +it back, went up to his wife, and commenced talking with her, while I +watched him. "If you please, sir, there's my young woman come down, +mayn't I speak to her?" said another of the men. I turned round, and +refused him. He expostulated, and begged very hard, but I was resolute; +however, when I again turned my eyes to watch the bow-man, he and his +wife were gone. "There," says I to the coxswain, "I knew it would be so; +you see Hickman is off." + +"Only gone to take a parting glass, sir," replied the coxswain; "he'll +be here directly." + +"I hope so; but I'm afraid not." After this, I refused all the +solicitations of the men to be allowed to leave the boat, but I +permitted them to have some beer brought down to them. The gun-room +steward then came back with a basket of _soft-tack_, _i.e._ loaves of +bread, and told me that the marine officer requested I would allow two +of the men to go up with him to Glencross's shop, to bring down some of +the stores. Of course, I sent two of the men, and told the steward if he +saw Hickman, to bring him down to the boat. + +By this time many of the women belonging to the ship had assembled, and +commenced a noisy conversation with the boat's crew. One brought an +article for Jim, another some clothes for Bill; some of them climbed +into the boat, and sat with the men; others came and went, bringing beer +and tobacco, which the men desired them to purchase. The crowd, the +noise, and confusion were so great, that it was with the utmost +difficulty that I could keep my eyes on all my men, who, one after +another, made an attempt to leave the boat. Just at that time came down +the sergeant of the marines, with three of our men whom he had picked +up, _roaring drunk_. They were tumbled into the boat, and increased the +difficulty, as in looking after those who were riotous, and would try to +leave the boat by force, I was not so well able to keep my eyes on those +who were sober. The sergeant then went up after another man, and I told +him also about Hickman. About half an hour afterwards the steward came +down with the two men, loaded with cabbages, baskets of eggs, strings of +onions, crockery of all descriptions, paper parcels of groceries, legs +and shoulders of mutton, which were crowded in, until not only the +stern-sheets, but all under the thwarts of the boat were also crammed +full. They told me that they had a few more things to bring down, and +that the marine officer had gone to Stonehouse to see his wife, so that +they should be down long before him. In half an hour more, during which +I had the greatest difficulty to manage the boat's crew, they returned +with a dozen geese and two ducks, tied by the legs, but without the two +men, who had given them the slip, so that there were now three men gone, +and I knew Mr Falcon would be very angry, for they were three of the +smartest men in the ship. I was now determined not to run the risk of +losing more men, and I ordered the boat's crew to shove off, that I +might lie at the wharf, where they could not climb up. They were very +mutinous, grumbled very much, and would hardly obey me; the fact is, +they had drunk a great deal, and some of them were more than half tipsy. +However, at last I was obeyed, but not without being saluted with a +shower of invectives from the women, and the execrations of the men +belonging to the wherries and _shore_ boats which were washed against +our sides by the swell. The weather had become much worse, and looked +very threatening. I waited an hour more, when the sergeant of marines +came down with two more men, one of whom, to my great joy, was Hickman. +This made me more comfortable, as I was not answerable for the other +two; still I was in great trouble from the riotous and insolent +behaviour of the boat's crew, and the other men brought down by the +sergeant of marines. One of them fell back into a basket of eggs, and +smashed them all to atoms; still the marine officer did not come down, +and it was getting late. The tide being now at the ebb, running out +against the wind, there was a heavy sea, and I had to go off to the ship +with a boat deeply laden, and most of the people in her in a state of +intoxication. The coxswain, who was the only one who was sober, +recommended our shoving off, as it would soon be dark, and some accident +would happen. I reflected a minute, and agreeing with him, I ordered the +oars to be got out, and we shoved off, the sergeant of marines and the +gun-room steward perched up in the bows--drunken men, ducks and geese, +lying together at the bottom of the boat--the stern sheets loaded up to +the gunwale, and the other passengers and myself sitting how we could +among the crockery and a variety of other articles with which the boat +was crowded. It was a scene of much confusion--the half-drunken boat's +crew _catching crabs_, and falling forward upon the others--those who +were quite drunk swearing they _would_ pull. "Lay on your oar, Sullivan; +you are doing more harm than good. You drunken rascal, I'll report you +as soon as we get on board." + +"How the divil can I pull, your honour, when there's that fellow Jones +breaking the very back o' me with his oar, and he never touching the +water all the while?" + +"You lie," cried Jones; "I'm pulling the boat by myself against the +whole of the larbard oars." + +"He's rowing _dry_, your honour--only making bilave." + +"Do you call this rowing dry?" cried another, as a sea swept over the +boat, fore and aft, wetting everybody to the skin. + +"Now, your honour, just look and see if I ain't pulling the very arms +off me?" cried Sullivan. + +"Is there water enough to cross the bridge, Swinburne?" said I to the +coxswain. + +"Plenty, Mr Simple; it is but quarter ebb, and the sooner we are on +board the better." + +We were now past Devil's Point, and the sea was very heavy: the boat +plunged in the trough, so that I was afraid that she would break her +back. She was soon half full of water, and the two after-oars were laid +in for the men to bale. "Plase your honour, hadn't I better cut free the +legs of them ducks and geese, and allow them to swim for their lives?" +cried Sullivan, resting on his oar; "the poor birds will be drowned else +in their own _iliment_." + +"No, no--pull away as hard as you can." + +By this time the drunken men in the bottom of the boat began to be very +uneasy, from the quantity of water which washed about them, and made +several staggering attempts to get on their legs. They fell down again +upon the ducks and geese, the major part of which were saved from being +drowned by being suffocated. The sea on the bridge was very heavy; and +although the tide swept us out, we were nearly swamped. Soft bread was +washing about the bottom of the boat; the parcels of sugar, pepper, and +salt, were wet through with the salt water, and a sudden jerk threw the +captain's steward, who was seated upon the gunwale close to the +after-oar, right upon the whole of the crockery and eggs, which added to +the mass of destruction. A few more seas shipped completed the job, and +the gun-room steward was in despair. "That's a darling," cried Sullivan: +"the politest boat in the whole fleet. She makes more bows and curtseys +than the finest couple in the land. Give way, my lads, and work the +crater stuff out of your elbows, and the first lieutenant will see us +all so sober, and so wet in the bargain, and think we're all so dry, +that perhaps he'll be after giving us a raw nip when we get on board." + +In a quarter of an hour we were nearly alongside, but the men pulled so +badly, and the sea was so great, that we missed the ship and went +astern. They veered out a buoy with a line, which we got hold of, and +were hauled up by the marines and after-guard, the boat plunging bows +under, and drenching us through and through. At last we got under the +counter, and I climbed up by the stern ladder. Mr Falcon was on deck, +and very angry at the boat not coming alongside properly. "I thought, Mr +Simple, that you knew by this time how to bring a boat alongside." + +"So I do, sir, I hope," replied I; "but the boat was so full of water, +and the men would not give way." + +"What men has the sergeant brought on board?" + +"Three, sir," replied I, shivering with the cold, and unhappy at my very +best uniform being spoiled. + +"Are all your boat's crew with you, sir?" + +"No sir; there are two left on shore; they--" + +"Not a word, sir. Up to the mast-head, and stay there till I call you +down. If it were not so late, I would send you on shore, and not receive +you on board again without the men. Up, sir, immediately." + +I did not venture to explain, but up I went. It was very cold, blowing +hard from the S.E., with heavy squalls; I was so wet that the wind +appeared to blow through me, and it was now nearly dark. I reached the +cross-trees, and when I was seated there, I felt that I had done my +duty, and had not been fairly treated. During this time, the boat had +been hauled up alongside to clear, and a pretty clearance there was. All +the ducks and geese were dead, the eggs and crockery all broke, the +grocery almost all washed away; in short, as O'Brien observed, there was +"a very pretty general average." Mr Falcon was still very angry. "Who +are the men missing?" inquired he, of Swinburne, the coxswain, as he +came up the side. + +"Williams and Sweetman, sir." + +"Two of the smartest topmen, I am told. It really is too provoking; +there is not a midshipman in the ship I can trust. I must work all day, +and get no assistance. The service is really going to the devil now, +with the young men who are sent on board to be brought up as officers, +and who are above doing their duty. What made you so late, Swinburne?" + +"Waiting for the marine officer, who went to Stonehouse to see his wife; +but Mr Simple would not wait any longer, as it was getting dark, and we +had so many drunken men in the boat." + +"Mr Simple did right. I wish Mr Harrison would stay on shore with his +wife altogether--it's really trifling with the service. Pray, Mr +Swinburne, why had you not your eyes about you if Mr Simple was so +careless? How came you to allow these men to leave the boat?" + +"The men were ordered up by the marine officer to bring down your +stores, sir, and they gave the steward the slip. It was no fault of Mr +Simple's, nor of mine either. We lay off at the wharf for two hours +before we started, or we should have lost more; for what can a poor lad +do, when he has charge of drunken men who _will not_ obey orders?" And +the coxswain looked up at the mast-head, as much as to say, Why is he +sent there? "I'll take my oath, sir," continued Swinburne, "that Mr +Simple never put his foot out of the boat, from the time that he went +over the side until he came on board, and that no young gentleman could +have done his duty more strictly." + +Mr Falcon looked very angry at first at the coxswain speaking so freely, +but he said nothing. He took one or two turns on the deck, and then +hailing the mast-head, desired me to come down. But I _could not_; my +limbs were so cramped with the wind blowing upon my wet clothes, that I +could not move. He hailed again; I heard him, but was not able to +answer. One of the topmen then came up, and perceiving my condition, +hailed the deck, and said he believed I was dying, for I could not move, +and that he dared not leave me for fear I should fall. O'Brien, who had +been on deck all the while, jumped up the rigging, and was soon at the +cross-trees where I was. He sent the topman down into the top for a +tail-block and the studding-sail haulyards, made a whip, and lowered me +on deck. I was immediately put into my hammock; and the surgeon ordering +me some hot brandy-and-water, and plenty of blankets, in a few hours I +was quite restored. + +O'Brien, who was at my bedside, said, "Never mind, Peter, and don't be +angry with Mr Falcon, for he is very sorry." + +"I am not angry, O'Brien; for Mr Falcon has been too kind to me not to +make me forgive him for being once hasty." + +The surgeon came to my hammock, gave me some more hot drink, desired me +to go to sleep, and I woke the next morning quite well. + +When I came into the berth, my messmates asked me how I was, and many of +them railed against the tyranny of Mr Falcon; but I took his part, +saying, that he was hasty in this instance, perhaps, but that, generally +speaking, he was an excellent and very just officer. Some agreed with +me, but others did not. One of them, who was always in disgrace, sneered +at me, and said, "Peter reads the Bible, and knows that if you smite one +cheek, he must offer the other. Now, I'll answer for it, if I pull his +right ear he will offer me his left." So saying, he lugged me by the +ear, upon which I knocked him down for his trouble. The berth was then +cleared away for a fight, and in a quarter of an hour my opponent gave +in; but I suffered a little, and had a very black eye. I had hardly time +to wash myself and change my shirt, which was bloody, when I was +summoned on the quarter-deck. When I arrived, I found Mr Falcon walking +up and down. He looked very hard at me, but did not ask me any questions +as to the cause of my unusual appearance. + +"Mr Simple," said he, "I sent for you to beg your pardon for my +behaviour to you last night, which was not only very hasty but very +unjust. I find that you were not to blame for the loss of the men." + +I felt very sorry for him when I heard him speak so handsomely; and, to +make his mind more easy, I told him that, although I certainly was not +to blame for the loss of those two men, still I had done wrong in +permitting Hickman to leave the boat; and that had not the sergeant +picked him up, I should have come off without him, and therefore I _did_ +deserve the punishment which I had received. + +"Mr Simple," replied Mr Falcon, "I respect you, and admire your +feelings; still, I was to blame, and it is my duty to apologise. Now go +down below. I would have requested the pleasure of your company to +dinner, but I perceive that something else has occurred, which, under +any other circumstances, I would have inquired into, but at present I +shall not." + +I touched my hat and went below. In the meantime, O'Brien had been made +acquainted with the occasion of the quarrel, which he did not fail to +explain to Mr Falcon, who, O'Brien declared, "was not the least bit in +the world angry with me for what had occurred." Indeed, after that, Mr +Falcon always treated me with the greatest kindness, and employed me on +every duty which he considered of consequence. He was a sincere friend; +for he did not allow me to neglect my duty, but, at the same time, +treated me with consideration and confidence. + +The marine officer came on board very angry at being left behind, and +talked about a court-martial on me for disrespect, and neglect of stores +entrusted to my charge; but O'Brien told me not to mind him, or what he +said. "It's my opinion, Peter, that the gentleman has eaten no small +quantity of _flap-doodle_ in his lifetime." + +"What's that, O'Brien?" replied I; "I never heard of it." + +"Why, Peter," rejoined he, "it's the stuff they _feed fools on_." + + + + +Chapter XXIX + +A long conversation with Mr Chucks--The advantage of having a +prayer-book in your pocket--We run down the trades--Swinburne, the +quartermaster, and his yarns--The Captain falls sick. + + +The next day the captain came on board with sealed orders, with +directions not to open them until off Ushant. In the afternoon, we +weighed and made sail. It was a fine northerly wind, and the Bay of +Biscay was smooth. We bore up, set all the studding-sails, and ran along +at the rate of eleven miles an hour. As I could not appear on the +quarter-deck, I was put down on the sick-list. Captain Savage, who was +very particular, asked what was the matter with me. The surgeon replied, +"An inflamed eye." The captain asked no more questions; and I took care +to keep out of his way. I walked in the evening on the forecastle, when +I renewed my intimacy with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to whom I gave a +full narrative of all my adventures in France. "I have been ruminating, +Mr Simple," said he, "how such a stripling as you could have gone +through so much fatigue, and now I know how it is. It is _blood_, Mr +Simple--all blood--you are descended from good blood; and there's as +much difference between nobility and the lower classes, as there is +between a racer and a cart-horse." + +"I cannot agree with you, Mr Chucks. Common people are quite as brave as +those who are well-born. You do not mean to say that you are not brave-- +that the seamen on board this ship are not brave?" + +"No, no, Mr Simple; but as I observed about myself, my mother was a +woman who could not be trusted, and there is no saying who was my +father; and she was a very pretty woman to boot, which levels all +distinctions for the moment. As for the seamen, God knows, I should do +them an injustice if I did not acknowledge that they were as brave as +lions. But there are two kinds of bravery, Mr Simple--the bravery of the +moment, and the courage of bearing up for a long while. Do you +understand me?" + +"I think I do; but still do not agree with you. Who will bear more +fatigue than our sailors?" + +"Yes, yes, Mr Simple, that is because they are _endured_ to it from +their hard life: but if the common sailors were all such little +thread-papers as you, and had been brought up so carefully, they would +not have gone through all you have. That's my opinion, Mr Simple-- +there's nothing like _blood_." + +"I think, Mr Chucks, you carry your ideas on that subject too far." + +"I do not, Mr Simple; and I think, moreover, that he who has more to +lose than another will always strive more. Now a common man only fights +for his own credit; but when a man is descended from a long line of +people famous in history, and has a coat _in_ arms, criss-crossed, and +stuck all over with lions and unicorns to support the dignity of--why, +has he not to fight for the credit of all his ancestors, whose names +would be disgraced if he didn't behave well?" + +"I agree with you, Mr Chucks, in the latter remark, to a certain +extent." + +"Ah! Mr Simple, we never know the value of good descent when we have it, +but it's when we cannot get it that we can _'preciate_ it. I wish I had +been born a nobleman--I do, by heavens!" and Mr Chucks slapped his fist +against the funnel, so as to make it ring again. "Well, Mr Simple," +continued he, after a pause, "it is, however, a great comfort to me that +I have parted company with that fool, Mr Muddle, with his twenty-six +thousand and odd years, and that old woman, Dispart, the gunner. You +don't know how those two men used to fret me; it was very silly, but I +couldn't help it. Now the warrant officers of this ship appear to be +very respectable, quiet men, who know their duty and attend to it, and +are not too familiar, which I hate and detest. You went home to your +friends, of course, when you arrived in England?" + +"I did, Mr Chucks, and spent some days with my grandfather, Lord +Privilege, whom you say you once met at dinner." + +"Well, and how was the old gentleman?" inquired the boatswain, with a +sigh. + +"Very well, considering his age." + +"Now do, pray, Mr Simple, tell me all about it; from the time that the +servants met you at the door until you went away. Describe to me the +house and all the rooms, for I like to hear of all these things, +although I can never see them again." + +To please Mr Chucks, I entered into a full detail, which he listened to +very attentively, until it was late, and then with difficulty would he +permit me to leave off, and go down to my hammock. The next day, rather +a singular circumstance occurred. One of the midshipmen was mast-headed +by the second lieutenant, for not waiting on deck until he was relieved. +He was down below when he was sent for, and expecting to be punished +from what the quarter-master told him, he thrust the first book into his +jacket-pocket which he could lay his hand on, to amuse himself at the +mast-head, and then ran on deck. As he surmised, he was immediately +ordered aloft. He had not been there more than five minutes, when a +sudden squall carried away the main-top-gallant mast, and away he went +flying over to leeward (for the wind had shifted, and the yards were now +braced up). Had he gone overboard, as he could not swim, he would, in +all probability, have been drowned; but the book in his pocket brought +him up in the jaws of the fore-brace block, where he hung until taken +out by the main-topmen. Now it so happened that it was a prayer-book +which he had laid hold of in his hurry, and those who were superstitious +declared it was all owing to his having taken a religious book with him. +I did not think so, as any other book would have answered the purpose +quite as well: still the midshipman himself thought so, and it was +productive of good, as he was a sad scamp, and behaved much better +afterwards. But I had nearly forgotten to mention a circumstance which +occurred on the day of our sailing, which will be eventually found to +have had a great influence upon my after life. It was this. I received a +letter from my father, evidently written in great vexation and +annoyance, informing me that my uncle, whose wife I have already +mentioned had two daughters, and was again expected to be confined, had +suddenly broken up his housekeeping, discharged every servant, and +proceeded to Ireland under an assumed name. No reason had been given for +this unaccountable proceeding; and not even my grandfather, or any of +the members of the family, had had notice of his intention. Indeed, it +was by mere accident that his departure was discovered, about a +fortnight after it had taken place. My father had taken a great deal of +pains to find out where he was residing; but although my uncle was +traced to Cork, from that town all clue was lost, but still it was +supposed, from inquiries, that he was not very far from thence. "Now," +observed my father, in his letter, "I cannot help surmising, that my +brother, in his anxiety to retain the advantages of the title to his own +family, has resolved to produce to the world a spurious child as his +own, by some contrivance or other. His wife's health is very bad, and +she is not likely to have a large family. Should the one now expected +prove a daughter, there is little chance of his ever having another; and +I have no hesitation in declaring my conviction that the measure has +been taken with a view of defrauding you of your chance of eventually +being called to the House of Lords." + +I showed this letter to O'Brien, who, after reading it over two or three +times, gave his opinion that my father was right in his conjectures +"Depend upon it, Peter, there's foul play intended, that is, if foul +play is rendered necessary." + +"But, O'Brien, I cannot imagine why, if my uncle has no son of his own, +he should prefer acknowledging a son of any other person's, instead of +his own nephew." + +"But I can, Peter: your uncle is not a man likely to live very long, as +you know. The doctors say that, with his short neck, his life is not +worth two years' purchase. Now if he had a son, consider that his +daughters would be much better off, and much more likely to get married; +besides, there are many reasons which I won't talk about now, because +it's no use making you think your uncle to be a scoundrel. But I'll tell +you what I'll do. I'll go down to my cabin directly, and write to Father +M'Grath, telling him the whole affair, and desiring him to ferret him +out, and watch him narrowly, and I'll bet you a dozen of claret, that in +less than a week he'll find him out, and will dog him to the last. He'll +get hold of his Irish servants, and you little know the power that a +priest has in our country. Now give the description as well as you can +of your uncle's appearance, also of that of his wife, and the number of +their family, and their ages. Father M'Grath must have all particulars, +and then let him alone for doing what is needful." + +I complied with O'Brien's directions as well as I could, and he wrote a +very long letter to Father M'Grath, which was sent on shore by a careful +hand. I answered my father's letter, and then thought no more about the +matter. + +Our sealed orders were opened, and proved our destination to be the West +Indies, as we expected. We touched at Madeira to take in some wine for +the ship's company; but as we only remained one day, we were not +permitted to go on shore. Fortunate indeed would it have been if we had +never gone there; for the day after, our captain, who had dined with the +consul, was taken alarmingly ill. From the symptoms, the surgeon dreaded +that he had been poisoned by something which he had eaten, and which +most probably had been cooked in a copper vessel not properly tinned. We +were all very anxious that he should recover; but, on the contrary, he +appeared to grow worse and worse every day, wasting away, and dying, as +they say, by inches. At last he was put into his cot, and never rose +from it again. This melancholy circumstance, added to the knowledge that +we were proceeding to an unhealthy climate, caused a gloom throughout +the ship; and, although the trade wind carried us along bounding over +the bright blue sea--although the weather was now warm, yet not too +warm--although the sun rose in splendour, and all was beautiful and +cheering, the state of the captain's health was a check to all mirth. +Every one trod the deck softly, and spoke in a low voice, that he might +not be disturbed; all were anxious to have the morning report of the +surgeon, and our conversation was generally upon the sickly climate, the +yellow fever, of death, and the palisades where they buried us. +Swinburne, the quarter-master, was in my watch, and as he had been long +in the West Indies, I used to obtain all the information from him that I +could. The old fellow had a secret pleasure in frightening me as much +as he could. "Really, Mr Simple, you ax so many questions," he would +say, as I accosted him while he was at his station at the _conn_, "I +wish you wouldn't ax so many questions, and make yourself uncomfortable +--'steady so'--'steady it is;'--with regard to Yellow Jack, as we calls +the yellow fever, it's a devil incarnate, that's sartain--you're well +and able to take your allowance in the morning, and dead as a herring +'fore night. First comes a bit of a head-ache--you goes to the doctor, +who bleeds you like a pig--then you go out of your senses--then up comes +the black vomit, and then it's all over with you, and you go to the land +crabs, who pick your bones as clean and as white as a sea elephant's +tooth. But there be one thing to be said in favour of Yellow Jack, a'ter +all. You dies _straight,_ like a gentleman--not cribbled up like a +snow-fish, chucked out on the ice of the river St Lawrence, with your +knees up to your nose, or your toes stuck into your arm-pits, as does +take place in some of your foreign complaints; but straight, quite +straight, and limber, like a _gentleman_. Still Jack is a little +mischievous, that's sartain. In the Euridiscy we had as fine a ship's +company as was ever piped aloft--'Steady, starboard, my man, you're +half-a-pint off your course;'--we dropped our anchor in Port Royal, and +we thought that there was mischief brewing, for thirty-eight sharks +followed the ship into the harbour, and played about us day and night. I +used to watch them during the night watch, as their fins, above water, +skimmed along, leaving a trail of light behind them; and the second +night I said to the sentry abaft, as I was looking at them smelling +under the counter--'Soldier,' says I, 'them sharks are mustering under +the orders of Yellow Jack,' and I no sooner mentioned Yellow Jack, than +the sharks gave a frisky plunge, every one of them, as much as to say, +'Yes, so we are, d----n your eyes.' The soldier was so frightened that +he would have fallen overboard, if I hadn't caught him by the scruff of +the neck, for he was standing on the top of the taffrail. As it was, he +dropped his musket over the stern, which the sharks dashed at from every +quarter, making the sea look like fire--and he had it charged to his +wages, L1 16s. I think. However, the fate of his musket gave him an idea +of what would have happened to him if he had fallen in instead of it-- +and he never got on the taffrail again. 'Steady, port--mind your helm, +Smith--you can listen to my yarn all the same.' Well, Mr Simple, Yellow +Jack came, sure enough. First the purser was called to account for all +his roguery. We didn't care much about the land crabs eating him, who +had made so many poor dead men chew tobacco, cheating their wives and +relations, or Greenwich Hospital, as it might happen. Then went two of +the middies, just about your age, Mr Simple: they, poor fellows, went +off in a sad hurry; then went the master--and so it went on, till at +last we had no more nor sixty men left in the ship. The captain died +last, and then Yellow Jack had filled his maw, and left the rest of us +alone. As soon as the captain died, all the sharks left the ship, and we +never saw any more of them." + +Such were the yarns told to me and the other midshipmen during the night +watches; and I can assure the reader, that they gave us no small alarm. +Every day that we worked our day's work, and found ourselves so much +nearer to the islands, did we feel as if we were so much nearer to our +graves. I once spoke to O'Brien about it, and he laughed. "Peter," says +he, "fear kills more people than the yellow fever, or any other +complaint, in the West Indies. Swinburne is an old rogue, and only +laughing at you. The devil's not half so black as he's painted--nor the +yellow fever half so yellow, I presume." We were now fast nearing the +island of Barbadoes, the weather was beautiful, the wind always fair; +the flying fish rose in shoals, startled by the foaming seas, which +rolled away, and roared from the bows as our swift frigate cleaved +through the water; the porpoises played about us in thousands--the +bonetas and dolphins at one time chased the flying fish, and at others, +appeared to be delighted in keeping company with the rapid vessel. +Everything was beautiful, and we all should have been happy, had it not +been for the state of Captain Savage, in the first place, who daily +became worse and worse, and from the dread of the hell, which we were +about to enter through such a watery paradise. Mr Falcon, who was in +command, was grave and thoughtful; he appeared indeed to be quite +miserable at the chance which would insure his own promotion. In every +attention, and every care that could be taken to insure quiet and afford +relief to the captain, he was unremitting; the offence of making a noise +was now, with him, a greater crime than drunkenness, or even mutiny. +When within three days' sail of Barbadoes, it fell almost calm, and the +captain became much worse; and now for the first time did we behold the +great white shark of the Atlantic. There are several kinds of sharks, +but the most dangerous are the great white shark and the ground shark. +The former grows to an enormous length--the latter is seldom very long, +not more than twelve feet, but spreads to a great breadth. We could not +hook the sharks as they played around us, for Mr Falcon would not permit +it, lest the noise of hauling them on board should disturb the captain. +A breeze again sprang up. In two days we were close to the island, and +the men were desired to look out for the land. + + + + +Chapter XXX + +Death of Captain Savage--His funeral--Specimen of true Barbadian born-- +Sucking the monkey--Effects of a hurricane. + + +The next morning, having hove-to part of the night, land was discovered +on the bow, and was reported by the mast-head man at the same moment +that the surgeon came up and announced the death of our noble captain. +Although it had been expected for the last two or three days, the +intelligence created a heavy gloom throughout the ship; the men worked +in silence, and spoke to one another in whispers. Mr Falcon was deeply +affected, and so were we all. In the course of the morning, we ran in to +the island, and unhappy as I was, I never can forget the sensation of +admiration which I felt on closing with Needham Point to enter Carlisle +Bay. The beach of such a pure dazzling white, backed by the tall, green +cocoa-nut trees, waving their spreading heads to the fresh breeze, the +dark blue of the sky, and the deeper blue of the transparent sea, +occasionally varied into green as we passed by the coral rocks which +threw their branches out from the bottom--the town opening to our view +by degrees, houses after houses, so neat, with their green jalousies, +dotting the landscape, the fort with the colours flying, troops of +officers riding down, a busy population of all colours, relieved by the +whiteness of their dress. Altogether the scene realised my first ideas +of Fairyland, for I thought I had never witnessed anything so beautiful. +"And can this be such a dreadful place as it is described?" thought I. +The sails were clewed up, the anchor was dropped to the bottom, and a +salute from the ship, answered by the forts, added to the effect of the +scene. The sails were furled, the boats lowered down, the boatswain +squared the yards from the jolly-boat ahead. Mr Falcon dressed, and his +boat being manned, went on shore with the despatches. Then, as soon as +the work was over, a new scene of delight presented itself to the sight +of midshipmen who had been so long upon his Majesty's allowance. These +were the boats, which crowded round the ship, loaded with baskets of +bananas, oranges, shaddocks, soursops, and every other kind of tropical +fruit, fried flying fish, eggs, fowls, milk, and everything which could +tempt a poor boy after a long sea voyage. The watch being called, down +we all hastened into the boats, and returned loaded with treasures, +which we soon contrived to make disappear. After stowing away as much +fruit as would have sufficed for a dessert to a dinner given to twenty +people in England, I returned on deck. + +There was no other man-of-war in the bay; but my attention was directed +to a beautiful little vessel, a schooner, whose fairy form contrasted +strongly with a West India trader which lay close to her. All of a +sudden, as I was looking at her beautiful outline, a yell rose from her +which quite startled me, and immediately afterwards her deck was covered +with nearly two hundred naked figures with woolly heads, chattering and +grinning at each other. She was a Spanish slaver, which had been +captured, and had arrived the evening before. The slaves were still on +board, waiting the orders of the governor. They had been on deck about +ten minutes, when three or four men, with large panama straw hats on +their heads, and long rattans in their hands, jumped upon the gunnel, +and in a few seconds drove them all down below. I then turned round, and +observed a black woman who had just climbed up the side of the frigate. +O'Brien was on deck, and she walked up to him in the most consequential +manner. + +"How do you do, sar? Very happy you com back again," said she to +O'Brien. + +"I'm very well, I thank you, ma'am," replied O'Brien, "and I hope to go +back the same; but never having put my foot into this bay before, you +have the advantage of me." + +"Nebber here before, so help me Gad! me tink I know you--me tink I +recollect your handsome face--I Lady Rodney, sar. Ah, piccaninny buccra! +how you do?" said she, turning round to me. "Me hope to hab the honour +to wash for you, sar," courtesying to O'Brien. + +"What do you charge in this place?" + +"All the same price, one bit a piece." + +"What do you call a bit?" inquired I. + +"A bit, lilly massa?--what you call um _bit_? Dem four _sharp shins_ to +a pictareen." + +Our deck was now enlivened by several army officers, besides gentlemen +residents, who came off to hear the news. Invitations to the mess and to +the houses of the gentlemen followed, and as they departed Mr Falcon +returned on board. He told O'Brien and the other officers, that the +admiral and squadron were expected in a few days, and that we were to +remain in Carlisle Bay and refit immediately. But although the fright +about the yellow fever had considerably subsided in our breasts, the +remembrance that our poor captain was lying dead in the cabin was +constantly obtruding. All that night the carpenters were up making up +his coffin, for he was to be buried the next day. The body is never +allowed to remain many hours unburied in the tropical climates, where +putrefaction is so rapid. The following morning the men were up at +daylight, washing the decks and putting the ship in order; they worked +willingly, and yet with a silent decorum which showed what their +feelings were. Never were the decks better cleaned, never were the ropes +more carefully _flemished_ down; the hammocks were stowed in their white +cloths, the yards carefully squared, and the ropes hauled taut. At eight +o'clock, the colours and pennant were hoisted half-mast high. The men +were then ordered down to breakfast, and to clean themselves. During the +time that the men were at breakfast, all the officers went into the +cabin to take a last farewell look at our gallant captain. He appeared +to have died without pain, and there was a beautiful tranquillity in his +face; but even already a change had taken place, and we perceived the +necessity of his being buried so soon. We saw him placed in his coffin, +and then quitted the cabin without speaking to each other. When the +coffin was nailed down, it was brought up by the barge's crew to the +quarter-deck, and laid upon the gratings amidships, covered over with +the Union Jack. The men came up from below without waiting for the pipe, +and a solemnity appeared to pervade every motion. Order and quiet were +universal, out of respect to the deceased. When the boats were ordered +to be manned, the men almost appeared to steal into them. The barge +received the coffin, which was placed in the stern sheets. The other +boats then hauled up, and received the officers, marines, and sailors, +who were to follow the procession. When all was ready, the barge was +shoved off by the bow-men, the crew dropped their oars into the water +without a splash and pulled the _minute stroke:_ +the other boats +followed, and as soon as they were clear of the ship, the minute guns +boomed along the smooth surface of the bay from the opposite side of the +ship, while the yards were topped to starboard and to port, the ropes +were slackened and hung in bights, so as to give the idea of distress +and neglect. At the same time, a dozen or more of the men who had been +ready, dropped over the sides of the ship in differents [sic] parts, and +with their cans of paint and brushes in a few minutes effaced the whole +of the broad white riband which marked the beautiful run of the frigate, +and left her all black and in deep mourning. The guns from the forts now +responded to our own. The merchant ships lowered their colours, and the +men stood up respectfully with their hats off, as the procession moved +slowly to the landing-place. The coffin was borne to the burial-ground +by the crew of the barge, followed by Mr Falcon as chief mourner, all +the officers of the ship who could be spared, one hundred of the seamen +walking two and two, and the marines with their arms reversed. The +_cortege_ was joined by the army officers, while the troops lined the +streets, and the bands played the Dead March. The service was read, the +volleys were fired over the grave, and with oppressed feelings we +returned to the boats, and pulled on board. It then appeared to me, and +to a certain degree I was correct, that as soon as we had paid our last +respect to his remains, we had also forgotten our grief. The yards were +again squared, the ropes hauled taut, working dresses resumed, and all +was activity and bustle. The fact is, that sailors and soldiers have no +time for lamentation, and running as they do from clime to clime, so +does scene follow scene in the same variety and quickness. In a day or +two, the captain appeared to be, although he was not, forgotten. Our +first business was to _water_ the ship by rafting and towing off the +casks. I was in charge of the boat again, with Swinburne as coxswain. As +we pulled in, there were a number of negroes bathing in the surf, +bobbing their woolly heads under it, as it rolled into the beach. "Now, +Mr Simple," said Swinburne, "see how I'll make them _niggers_ scamper." +He then stood up in the stern sheets, and pointing with his finger, +roared out, "A shark! a shark!" Away started all the bathers for the +beach, puffing and blowing, from their dreaded enemy; nor did they stop +to look for him until they were high and dry out of his reach. Then, +when we all laughed, they called us "_all the hangman tiefs_," and every +other opprobrious name which they could select from their vocabulary. I +was very much amused with this scene, and as much afterwards with the +negroes who crowded round us when we landed. They appeared such merry +fellows, always laughing, chattering, singing, and showing their white +teeth. One fellow danced round us, snapping his fingers, and singing +songs without beginning or end. "Eh, massa, what you say now? Me no +slave--true Barbadian born, sir. Eh! + + "Nebba see de day + Dat Rodney run away, + Nebba see um night + Dat Rodney cannot fight. + +Massa me free man, sar. Suppose you give me pictareen, drink massa +health. + + "Nebba see de day, boy, + Pompey lickum de Caesar. + +Eh! and you nebba see de day dat de Grasshopper run on de Warrington." + +"Out of the way, you nigger," cried one of the men who was rolling down +a cask. + +"Eh! who you call nigger? Me free man, and true Barbadian born. Go along +you man-of-war man. + + "Man-of-war, buccra, + Man-of-war, buccra, + He de boy for me; + Sodger, buccra, + Sodger, buccra, + Nebba, nebba do, + Nebba, nebba do for me; + Sodger give me one shilling, + Sailor give me two. + +Massa, now suppose you give me only one pictareen now. You really +handsome young gentleman." + +"Now, just walk off," said Swinburne, lifting up a stick he found on the +beach. + +"Eh! walk off. + + "Nebba see de day, boy, + 'Badian run away, boy. + +Go, do your work, sar. Why you talk to me? Go, work, sar. I free man, +and real Barbadian born. + + "Negro on de shore + See de ship come in, + De buccra come on shore, + Wid de hand up to the chin; + Man-of-war buccra, + Man-of-war buccra, + He de boy for me, + Man-of-war, buccra, + Man-of-war, buccra, + Gib pictareen to me." + +At this moment my attention was directed to another negro, who lay on +the beach rolling and foaming at the mouth, apparently in a fit. "What's +the matter with that fellow?" said I to the same negro who continued +close to me, notwithstanding Swinburne's stick. "Eh! call him Sam Slack, +massa. He ab um _tic tic_ fit." And such was apparently the case. "Stop, +me cure him;" and he snatched the stick out of Swinburne's hand, and +running up to the man, who continued to roll on the beach, commenced +belabouring him without mercy. "Eh, Sambo!" cried he at last, quite out +of breath, "you no better yet--try again." He recommenced, until at last +the man got up and ran away as fast as he could. Now, whether the man +was shamming, or whether it was real _tic tic_, or epileptic fit, I know +not; but I never heard of such a cure for it before. I threw the fellow +half a pictareen, as much for the amusement he had afforded me as to get +rid of him. "Tanky, massa; now man-of-war man, here de tick for you +again to keep off all the dam niggers." So saying, he handed the stick +to Swinburne, made a polite bow, and departed. We were, however, soon +surrounded by others, particularly some dingy ladies with baskets of +fruit, and who, as they said, "sell ebery ting." I perceived that my +sailors were very fond of cocoa-nut milk, which, being a harmless +beverage, I did not object to their purchasing from these ladies, who +had chiefly cocoa-nuts in their baskets. As I had never tasted it, I +asked them what it was, and bought a cocoa-nut. I selected the largest. +"No, massa, dat not good for you. Better one for buccra officer." I then +selected another, but the same objection was made. "No, massa, dis very +fine milk. Very good for de tomac." I drank off the milk from the holes +on the top of the cocoa-nut, and found it very refreshing. As for the +sailors, they appeared very fond of it indeed. But I very soon found +that if good for de tomac, it was not very good for the head, as my men, +instead of rolling the casks, began to roll themselves in all +directions, and when it was time to go off to dinner, most of them were +dead drunk at the bottom of the boat. They insisted that it was the +_sun_ which affected them. Very hot it certainly was, and I believed +them at first, when they were only giddy; but I was convinced to the +contrary when I found that they became insensible; yet how they had +procured the liquor was to me a mystery. When I came on board, Mr +Falcon, who, although acting captain, continued his duties as first +lieutenant almost as punctually as before, asked how it was that I had +allowed my men to get so tipsy. I assured him that I could not tell, +that I had never allowed one to leave the watering-place, or to buy any +liquor: the only thing that they had to drink was a little cocoa-nut +milk, which, as it was so very hot, I thought there could be no +objection to. Mr Falcon smiled and said, "Mr Simple, I'm an old stager +in the West Indies, and I'll let you into a secret. Do you know what +'_sucking the monkey_' means?" "No, sir." "Well, then, I'll tell you; it +is a term used among seamen for drinking _rum_ out of _cocoa-nuts,_ the +milk having been poured out, and the liquor substituted. Now do you +comprehend why your men are tipsy?" I stared with all my eyes, for it +never would have entered into my head; and I then perceived why it was +that the black woman would not give me the first cocoa-nuts which I +selected. I told Mr Falcon of this circumstance, who replied, "Well, it +was not your fault, only you must not forget it another time." + +It was my first watch that night, and Swinburne was quarter-master on +deck. "Swinburne," said I, "you have often been in the West Indies +before, why did you not tell me that the men were '_sucking the monkey_' +when I thought that they were only drinking cocoa-nut milk?" + +Swinburne chuckled, and answered, "Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, it didn't +become me as a ship-mate to peach. It's but seldom that a poor fellow +has an opportunity of making himself a 'little happy,' and it would not +be fair to take away the chance. I suppose you'll never let them have +cocoa-nut milk again?" + +"No, that I will not; but I cannot imagine what pleasure they can find +in getting so tipsy." + +"It's merely because they are not allowed to be so, sir. That's the +whole story in few words." + +"Well, I think I could cure them if I were permitted to try." + +"I should like to hear how you'd manage that, Mr Simple." + +"Why, I would oblige a man to drink off a half pint of liquor, and then +put him by himself. I would not allow him companions to make merry with +so as to make a pleasure of intoxication. I would then wait until next +morning when he was sober, and leave him alone with a racking headache +until the evening, when I would give him another dose, and so on, +forcing him to get drunk until he hated the smell of liquor." + +"Well, Mr Simple, it might do with some, but many of our chaps would +require the dose you mention to be repeated pretty often before it would +effect a cure; and what's more, they'd be very willing patients, and +make no wry faces at their physic." + +"Well, that might be, but it would cure them at last. But tell me, +Swinburne, were you ever in a hurricane?" + +"I've been in everything, Mr Simple, I believe, except at school, and I +never had no time to go there. Do you see that battery at Needham Point? +Well, in the hurricane of '82, them same guns were whirled away by the +wind, right over to this point here on the opposite side, the sentries +in their sentry-boxes after them. Some of the soldiers who faced the +wind had their teeth blown down their throats like broken 'baccy-pipes, +others had their heads turned round like dog vanes, 'cause they waited +for orders to the '_right about face_,' and the whole air was full of +young _niggers_ blowing about like peelings of _ingons_." + +"You don't suppose I believe all this, Swinburne?" + +"That's as may be, Mr Simple, but I've told the story so often, that I +believe it myself." + +"What ship were you in?" + +"In the _Blanche_, Captain Faulkner, who was as fine a fellow as poor +Captain Savage, whom we buried yesterday; there could not be a finer +than either of them. I was at the taking of the Pique, and carried him +down below after he had received his mortal wound. We did a pretty thing +out here when we took Fort Royal by a coup-de-_main_, which means, +boarding from the _main_-yard of the frigate, and dropping from it into +the fort. But what's that under the moon?--there's a sail in the +offing." + +Swinburne fetched the glass and directed it to the spot. "One, two, +three, four. It's the admiral, sir, and the squadron hove-to for the +night. One's a line-of-battle ship, I'll swear." I examined the vessels, +and agreeing with Swinburne, reported them to Mr Falcon. My watch was +then over, and as soon as I was released I went to my hammock. + + +END OF VOL. I. + +TURNBULL AND SPEARS, PRINTERS, EDINBURGH. + + + + +PETER SIMPLE + +AND + +THE THREE CUTTERS + + +BY + +CAPTAIN MARRYAT + + +VOL. II. + + +LONDON + +J.M. DENT AND CO. + +BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN AND CO. + +MDCCCXCV + + + + +Contents + +VOLUME II + +PETER SIMPLE + +CHAPTER XXXI 1 + +CHAPTER XXXII 12 + +CHAPTER XXXIII 24 + +CHAPTER XXXIV 38 + +CHAPTER XXXV 45 + +CHAPTER XXXVI 53 + +CHAPTER XXXVII 59 + +CHAPTER XXXVIII 68 + +CHAPTER XXXIX 80 + +CHAPTER XL 87 + +CHAPTER XLI 96 + +CHAPTER XLII 105 + +CHAPTER XLIII 111 + +CHAPTER XLIV 117 + +CHAPTER XLV 123 + +CHAPTER XLVI 128 + +CHAPTER XLVII 134 + +CHAPTER XLVIII 140 + +CHAPTER XLIX 146 + +CHAPTER L 153 + +CHAPTER LI 160 + +CHAPTER LII 169 + +CHAPTER LIII 175 + +CHAPTER LIV 180 + +CHAPTER LV 186 + +CHAPTER LVI 195 + +CHAPTER LVII 203 + +CHAPTER LVIII 209 + +CHAPTER LIX 217 + +CHAPTER LX 221 + +CHAPTER LXI 225 + +CHAPTER LXII 232 + +CHAPTER LXIII 238 + +CHAPTER LXIV 244 + +CHAPTER LXV 255 + + + +_THE THREE CUTTERS_ + + +CHAPTER I 267 + +CHAPTER II 279 + +CHAPTER III 287 + +CHAPTER IV 293 + +CHAPTER V 302 + +CHAPTER VI 313 + +CHAPTER VII 321 + + + + + +Peter Simple + + + + +Chapter XXXI + +Captain Kearney--The dignity ball. + + +The next morning at daylight we exchanged numbers, and saluted the flag, +and by eight o'clock they all anchored. Mr Falcon went on board the +admiral's ship with despatches, and to report the death of Captain +Savage. In about half an hour he returned, and we were glad to perceive, +with a smile upon his face, from which we argued that he would receive +his acting order as commander, which was a question of some doubt, as +the admiral had the power to give the vacancy to whom he pleased, +although it would not have been fair if he had not given it to Mr +Falcon; not that Mr Falcon would not have received his commission, as +Captain Savage dying when the ship was under no admiral's command, he +_made himself_; but still the admiral might have sent him home, and not +have given him a ship. But this he did, the captain of the _Minerve_ +being appointed to the _Sanglier_, the captain of the _Opossum_ to the +_Minerve_, and Captain Falcon taking command of the _Opossum_. He +received his commission that evening, and the next day the exchanges +were made. Captain Falcon would have taken me with him, and offered so +to do; but I could not leave O'Brien, so I preferred remaining in the +_Sanglier_. + +We were all anxious to know what sort of a person our new captain was, +whose name was Kearney; but we had no time to ask the midshipmen, except +when they came in charge of the boats which brought his luggage; they +replied generally, that he was a very good sort of fellow, and there was +no harm in him. But when I had the night watch with Swinburne, he came +up to me, and said, "Well, Mr Simple, so we have a new captain. I sailed +with him for two years in a brig." + +"And pray, Swinburne, what sort of a person is he?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple: he's a good-tempered, kind fellow +enough, but--" + +"But what?" + +"Such a _bouncer_!!" + +"How do you mean? He's not a very stout man." + +"Bless you, Mr Simple, why you don't understand English. I mean that +he's the greatest liar that ever walked a deck. Now, Mr Simple, you know +I can spin a yarn occasionally." + +"Yes, that you can, witness the hurricane the other night." + +"Well, Mr Simple, I cannot _hold a candle_ to him. It a'n't that I might +not stretch now and then, just for fun, as far as he can, but, d----n +it, he's always on the stretch. In fact, Mr Simple, he never tells the +truth except _by mistake_. He's as poor as a rat, and has nothing but +his pay; yet to believe him, he is worth at least as much as Greenwich +Hospital. But you'll soon find him out, and he'll sarve to laugh at +behind his back, you know, Mr Simple, for that's _no go_ before his +face." + +Captain Kearney made his appearance on board the next day. The men were +mustered to receive him, and all the officers were on the quarter-deck. +"You've a fine set of marines here, Captain Falcon," observed he; "those +I left on board of the _Minerve_ were only fit to be _hung_; and you +have a good show of reefers too--those I left in the _Minerve_ were not +_worth hanging_. If you please, I'll read my commission, if you'll order +the men aft." His commission was read, all hands with their hats off +from respect to the authority from which it proceeded. "Now, my lads," +said Captain Kearney, addressing the ship's company, "I've but few words +to say to you. I am appointed to command this ship, and you appear to +have a very good character from your late first lieutenant. All I +request of you is this: be smart, keep sober, and always _tell the +truth_--that's enough. Pipe down. Gentlemen," continued he, addressing +the officers, "I trust that we shall be good friends; and I see no +reason that it should be otherwise." He then turned away with a bow, and +called his coxswain--"Williams, you'll go on board, and tell my steward +that I have promised to dine with the governor to-day, and that he must +come to dress me; and, coxswain, recollect to put the sheepskin mat on +the stern gratings of my gig--not the one I used to have when I was on +shore in my _carriage_, but the blue one which was used for the +_chariot_--you know which I mean." I happened to look Swinburne in the +face, who cocked his eye at me, as much as to say--"There he goes." We +afterwards met the officers of the _Minerve_, who corroborated all that +Swinburne had said, although it was quite unnecessary, as we had the +captain's own words every minute to satisfy us of the fact. + +Dinner parties were now very numerous, and the hospitality of the island +is but too well known. The invitations extended to the midshipmen, and +many was the good dinner and kind reception which I had during my stay. +There was, however, one thing I had heard so much of, that I was anxious +to witness it, which was a _dignity ball_. But I must enter a little +into explanation, or my readers will not understand me. The coloured +people of Barbadoes, for reasons best known to themselves, are +immoderately proud, and look upon all the negroes who are born on other +islands as _niggers_; they have also an extraordinary idea of their own +bravery, although I never heard that it has ever been put to the proof. +The free Barbadians are, most of them, very rich, and hold up their +heads as they walk with an air quite ridiculous. They ape the manners of +the Europeans, at the same time that they appear to consider them as +almost their inferiors. Now, a _dignity_ ball is a ball given by the +most consequential of their coloured people, and from the amusement and +various other reasons, is generally well attended by the officers both +on shore and afloat. The price of the tickets of admission was high--I +think they were half a joe, or eight dollars each. + +The governor sent out cards for a grand ball and supper for the ensuing +week, and Miss Betsy Austin, a quadroon woman, ascertaining the fact, +sent out her cards for the same evening. This was not altogether in +_rivalry_, but for another reason, which was, that she was aware that +most of the officers and midshipmen of the ships would obtain permission +to go to the governor's ball, and, preferring hers, would slip away and +join the party, by which means she ensured a full attendance. + +On the day of invitation our captain came on board, and told our new +first lieutenant (of whom I shall say more hereafter) that the governor +insisted that all _his_ officers should go--that he would take no +denial, and, therefore, he presumed, go they must; that the fact was, +that the governor was a _relation_ of his wife, and under some trifling +obligations to him in obtaining for him his present command. He +certainly had spoken to the _prime minister_, and he thought it not +impossible, considering the intimate terms which the minister and he had +been on from childhood, that his solicitation might have had some +effect; at all events, it was pleasant to find that there was some +little gratitude left in this world. After this, of course, every +officer went, with the exception of the master, who said that he'd as +soon have two round turns in his hawse as go to see people kick their +legs about like fools, and that he'd take care of the ship. + +The governor's ball was very splendid, but the ladies were rather +sallow, from the effects of the climate. However, there were exceptions, +and on the whole it was a very gay affair; but we were all anxious to go +to the _dignity_ ball of Miss Betsy Austin. I slipped away with three +other midshipmen, and we soon arrived there. A crowd of negroes were +outside of the house; but the ball had not yet commenced, from the want +of gentlemen, the ball being very correct, nothing under mulatto in +colour being admitted. Perhaps I ought to say here, that the progeny of +a white and a negro is a mulatto, or half and half--of a white and +mulatto, a _quadroon_, or one-quarter black, and of this class the +company were chiefly composed. I believe a quadroon and white make the +_mustee_ or one-eighth black, and the mustee and white the mustafina, or +one-sixteenth black. After that, they are _whitewashed_, and considered +as Europeans. The pride of colour is very great in the West Indies, and +they have as many quarterings as a German prince in his coat of arms; a +quadroon looks down upon a mulatto, while a mulatto looks down upon a +_sambo_, that is, half mulatto half negro, while a sambo in his turn +looks down upon a _nigger_. The quadroons are certainly the handsomest +race of the whole, some of the women are really beautiful; their hair is +long and perfectly straight, their eyes large and black, their figures +perfection, and you can see the colour mantle in their cheeks quite as +plainly, and with as much effect, as in those of a European. We found +the door of Miss Austin's house open, and ornamented with orange +branches, and on our presenting ourselves were accosted by a mulatto +gentleman, who was, we presumed, "usher of the black rod." His head was +well powdered, he was dressed in white jean trousers, a waistcoat not +six inches long, and a half-worn post-captain's coat on, as a livery, +With a low bow, he "took de liberty to trouble de gentlemen for de card +for de ball," which being produced, we were ushered on by him to the +ball-room, at the door of which Miss Austin was waiting to receive her +company. She made us a low courtesy, observing, "She really happy to see +de _gentlemen_ of de ship, but hoped to see de _officers_ also at her +_dignity_." + +This remark touched our _dignity_, and one of my companions replied, +"That we midshipmen considered ourselves officers, and no _small_ ones +either, and that if she waited for the lieutenants she must wait until +they were tired of the governor's ball, we having given the preference +to hers." This remark set all to rights; sangaree was handed about, and +I looked around at the company. I must acknowledge, at the risk of +losing the good opinion of my fair countrywomen, that I never saw before +so many pretty figures and faces. The _officers_ not having yet arrived, +we received all the attention, and I was successively presented to Miss +Eurydice, Miss Minerva, Miss Sylvia, Miss Aspasia, Miss Euterpe, and +many others, evidently borrowed from the different men-of-war which had +been on the station. All these young ladies gave themselves all the airs +of Almack's. Their dresses I cannot pretend to describe--jewels of value +were not wanting, but their drapery was slight; they appeared neither to +wear nor to require stays, and on the whole, their figures were so +perfect that they could only be ill dressed by having on too much dress. +A few more midshipmen and some lieutenants (O'Brien among the number) +having made their appearance, Miss Austin directed that the ball should +commence. I requested the honour of Miss Eurydice's hand in a cotillon, +which was to open the ball. At this moment stepped forth the premier +violin, master of the ceremonies and ballet-master, Massa Johnson, +really a very smart man, who gave lessons in dancing to all the "'Badian +ladies." He was a dark quadroon, his hair slightly powdered, dressed in +a light blue coat thrown well back, to show his lily-white waistcoat, +only one button of which he could afford to button to make full room for +the pride of his heart, the frill of his shirt, which really was _un +Jabot superb_, four inches wide, and extending from his collar to the +waistband of his nankeen tights, which were finished off at his knees +with huge bunches of ribbon; his legs were encased in silk stockings, +which, however, was not very good taste on his part, as they showed the +manifest advantage which an European has over a coloured man in the +formation of the leg: instead of being straight, his shins curved like a +cheese-knife, and, moreover, his leg was planted into his foot like the +handle into a broom or scrubbing-brush, there being quite as much of the +foot on the heel side as on the toe side. Such was the appearance of Mr +Apollo Johnson, whom the ladies considered as the _ne plus ultra_ of +fashion, and the _arbiter elegantiarum_. His _bow-tick_, or +fiddle-stick, was his wand, whose magic rap on the fiddle produced +immediate obedience to his mandates. "Ladies and gentle, take your +seats." All started up. "Miss Eurydice, you open de ball." + +Miss Eurydice had but a sorry partner, but she undertook to instruct me. +O'Brien was our _vis-a-vis_ with Miss Euterpe. The other gentlemen were +officers from the ships, and we stood up twelve, checkered brown and +white, like a chess-board. All eyes were fixed upon Mr Apollo Johnson, +who first looked at the couples, then at his fiddle, and lastly, at the +other musicians, to see if all was right, and then with a wave of his +_bow-tick_ the music began. "Massa lieutenant," cried Apollo to O'Brien, +"cross over to opposite lady, right hand and left, den figure to Miss +Eurydice--dat right; now four hand round. You lilly midshipman, set your +partner, sir; den twist her round; dat do; now stop. First figure all +over." + +At this time I thought I might venture to talk a little with my partner, +and I ventured a remark; to my surprise she answered very sharply, "I +come here for dance, sar, and not for chatter; look, Massa Johnson, he +tap um bow-tick." + +The second figure commenced, and I made a sad bungle; so I did of the +third, and fourth, and fifth, for I never had danced a cotillon. When I +handed my partner to her place, who certainly was the prettiest girl in +the room, she looked rather contemptuously at me, and observed to a +neighbour, "I really pity de gentleman as come from England dat no know +how to dance nor nothing at all, until em hab instruction at Barbadoes." + +A country dance was now called for, which was more acceptable to all +parties, as none of Mr Apollo Johnson's pupils were very perfect in +their cotillon, and none of the officers, except O'Brien, knew anything +about them. O'Brien's superior education on this point, added to his +lieutenant's epaulet and handsome person, made him much courted; but he +took up with Miss Eurydice after I had left her, and remained with her +the whole evening; thereby exciting the jealousy of Mr Apollo Johnson, +who, it appears, was amorous in that direction. Our party increased +every minute; all the officers of the garrison, and, finally, as soon as +they could get away, the governor's aid-de-camps, all dressed in _mufti_ +(i.e., plain clothes). The dancing continued until three o'clock in the +morning, when it was quite a squeeze, from the constant arrival of fresh +recruits from all the houses of Barbadoes. I must say, that a few +bottles of eau de Cologne thrown about the room would have improved the +atmosphere. By this time the heat was terrible, and the _mopping_ of the +ladies' faces everlasting. I would recommend a DIGNITY ball to all stout +gentlemen who wish to be reduced a stone or two. Supper was now +announced, and having danced the last country dance with Miss Minerva, I +of course had the pleasure of handing her into the supper-room. It was +my fate to sit opposite to a fine turkey, and I asked my partner if I +should have the pleasure of helping her to a piece of the breast. She +looked at me very indignantly, and said, "Curse your impudence, sar, I +wonder where you larn manners. Sar, I take a lilly turkey _bosom_, if +you please. Talk of _breast_ to a lady, sar;--really quite _horrid_." I +made two or three more barbarous mistakes before the supper was +finished. At last the eating was over, and I must say a better supper I +never sat down to. "Silence, gentlemen and ladies," cried Mr Apollo +Johnson. "Wid the permission of our amiable hostess, I will propose a +toast. Gentlemen and ladies--You all know, and if be so you don't, I say +that there no place in the world like Barbadoes. All de world fight +against England, but England nebber fear; King George nebber fear, while +_Barbadoes 'tand 'tiff_. 'Badian fight for King George to last drop of +him blood. Nebber see the day 'Badian run away; you all know dem +Frenchmans at San Lucee, give up Morne Fortunee, when he hear de 'Badian +volunteer come against him. I hope no 'fence present company, but um +sorry to say English come here too jealous of 'Badians. Gentlemen and +lady--Barbadian born ab only one fault--he _really too brave_. I propose +health of 'Island of Barbadoes.'" Acclamations from all quarters +followed this truly modest speech, and the toast was drunk with rapture; +the ladies were delighted with Mr Apollo's eloquence, and the lead which +he took in the company. + +O'Brien then rose and addressed the company as follows:-- + +"Ladies and gentlemen--Mr Poll has spoken better than the best parrot I +ever met with in this country, but as he has thought proper to drink the +'Island of Barbadoes,' I mean to be a little more particular. I wish, +with him, all good health to the island; but there is a charm without +which the island would be a desert--that is, the society of the lovely +girls which now surround us, and take our hearts by storm--" (here +O'Brien put his arm gently round Miss Eurydice's waist, and Mr Apollo +ground his teeth so as to be heard at the furthest end of the room)"-- +therefore, gentlemen, with your permission, I will propose the health of +the ''Badian Ladies.'" This speech of O'Brien's was declared, by the +females at least, to be infinitely superior to Mr Apollo Johnson's. Miss +Eurydice was even more gracious, and the other ladies were more envious. + +Many other toasts and much more wine was drunk, until the male part of +the company appeared to be rather riotous. Mr Apollo, however, had to +regain his superiority, and after some hems and hahs, begged permission +to give a sentiment. "Gentlemen and ladies, I beg then to say-- + + "Here's to de cock who make lub to de hen, + Crow till he hoarse and make lub again." + +This _sentiment_ was received with rapture; and after silence was +obtained, Miss Betsy Austin rose and said--"Unaccustomed as she was to +public 'peaking, she must not sit 'till and not tank de gentleman for +his very fine toast, and in de name of de ladies she begged to propose +another sentimen', which was-- + + "Here to de hen what nebber refuses, + Let cock pay compliment whenebber he chooses." + +If the first toast was received with applause, this was with enthusiasm; +but we received a damper after it was subsided, by the lady of the house +getting up and saying--"Now, gentlemen and ladies, me tink it right to +say dat it time to go home; I nebber allow people get drunk or kick up +bobbery in my house, so now I tink we better take parting-glass, and +very much obliged to you for your company." + +As O'Brien said, this was a broad hint to be off, so we all now took our +parting-glass, in compliance with her request, and our own wishes, and +proceeded to escort our partners on their way home. While I was +assisting Miss Minerva to her red crape shawl, a storm was brewing in +another quarter, to wit, between Mr Apollo Johnson and O'Brien. O'Brien +was assiduously attending to Miss Eurydice, whispering what he called +soft blarney in her ear, when Mr Apollo, who was above spirit-boiling +heat with jealousy, came up, and told Miss Eurydice that he would have +the honour of escorting her home. + +"You may save yourself the trouble, you dingy gut-scraper," replied +O'Brien; "the lady is under my protection, so take your ugly black face +out of the way, or I'll show you how I treat a ''Badian who is really +too brave.'" + +"So 'elp me Gad, Massa Lieutenant, 'pose you put finger on me, I show +you what 'Badian can do." + +Apollo then attempted to insert himself between O'Brien and his lady, +upon which O'Brien shoved him back with great violence, and continued +his course towards the door. They were in the passage when I came up, +for hearing O'Brien's voice in anger, I left Miss Minerva to shift for +herself. + +Miss Eurydice had now left O'Brien's arm, at his request, and he and Mr +Apollo were standing in the passage, O'Brien close to the door, which +was shut, and Apollo swaggering up to him. O'Brien, who knew the tender +part of a black, saluted Apollo with a kick on the shins which would +have broken my leg. Massa Johnson roared with pain, and recoiled two or +three paces, parting the crowd away behind him. The blacks never fight +with fists, but butt with their heads like rams, and with quite as much +force. When Mr Apollo had retreated, he gave his shin one more rub, +uttered a loud yell, and started at O'Brien, with his head aimed at +O'Brien's chest, like a battering-ram. O'Brien, who was aware of this +plan of fighting, stepped dexterously on one side, and allowed Mr Apollo +to pass by him, which he did with such force, that his head went clean +through the panel of the door behind O'Brien, and there he stuck as fast +as if in a pillory, squeaking like a pig for assistance, and foaming +with rage. After some difficulty he was released, and presented a very +melancholy figure. His face was much cut, and his superb _Jabot_ all in +tatters; he appeared, however, to have had quite enough of it, as he +retreated to the supper-room, followed by some of his admirers, without +asking or looking after O'Brien. + +But if Mr Apollo had had enough of it, his friends were too indignant to +allow us to go off scot free. A large mob was collected in the street, +vowing vengeance on us for our treatment of their flash man, and a row +was to be expected. Miss Eurydice had escaped, so that O'Brien had his +hands free. "Cam out, you hangman tiefs, cam out; only wish had rock +stones, to mash your heads with," cried the mob of negroes. The officers +now sallied out in a body, and were saluted with every variety of +missile, such as rotten oranges, cabbage-stalks, mud, and cocoa-nut +shells. We fought our way manfully, but as we neared the beach the mob +increased to hundreds, and at last we could proceed no further, being +completely jammed up by the niggers, upon whose heads we could make no +more impression than upon blocks of marble. "We must draw our swords," +observed an officer. "No, no," replied O'Brien, "that will not do; if +once we shed blood, they will never let us get on board with our lives. +The boat's crew by this time must be aware that there is a row." O'Brien +was right. He had hardly spoken, before a lane was observed to be made +through the crowd in the distance, which in two minutes was open to us. +Swinburne appeared in the middle of it, followed by the rest of the +boat's crew, armed with the boat's stretchers, which they did not aim at +the _heads_ of the blacks, but swept them like scythes against their +_shins_. This they continued to do, right and left of us, as we walked +through and went down to the boats, the seamen closing up the rear with +their stretchers, with which they ever and anon made a sweep at the +black fellows if they approached too near. It was now broad daylight, +and in a few minutes we were again safely on board the frigate. Thus +ended the first and last dignity ball that I attended. + + + + +Chapter XXXII + +I am claimed by Captain Kearney as a relation--Trial of skill between +first lieutenant and captain with the long bow--The shark, the pug-dog, +and the will--A quarter-deck picture. + + +As the admiral was not one who would permit the ships under his command +to lie idle in port, in a very few days after the dignity ball which I +have described, all the squadron sailed on their various destinations. I +was not sorry to leave the bay, for one soon becomes tired of profusion, +and cared nothing for either oranges, bananas, or shaddocks, nor even +for, the good dinners and claret at the tables of the army mess and +gentlemen of the island. The sea breeze soon became more precious to us +than anything else, and if we could have bathed without the fear of a +shark, we should have equally appreciated that most refreshing of all +luxuries under the torrid zone. It was therefore with pleasure that we +received the information that we were to sail the next day to cruise off +the French island of Martinique. Captain Kearney had been so much on +shore that we saw but little of him, and the ship was entirely under the +control of the first lieutenant, of whom I have hitherto not spoken. He +was a very short, pock-marked man, with red hair and whiskers, a good +sailor, and not a bad officer; that is, he was a practical sailor, and +could show any foremast man his duty in any department--and this seamen +very much appreciate, as it is not very common; but I never yet knew an +officer who prided himself upon his practical knowledge, who was at the +same time a good navigator, and too often, by assuming the Jack Tar, +they lower the respect due to them, and become coarse and vulgar in +their manners and language. This was the case with Mr Phillott, who +prided himself upon his slang, and who was at one time "hail fellow well +met" with the seamen, talking to them, and being answered as familiarly +as if they were equals, and at another, knocking the very same men down +with a handspike if he was displeased. He was not bad-tempered, but very +hasty; and his language to the officers was occasionally very incorrect; +to the midshipmen invariably so. However, on the whole, he was not +disliked, although he was certainly not respected as a first lieutenant +should have been. It is but fair to say, that he was the same to his +superiors as he was to his inferiors, and the bluntness with which he +used to contradict and assert his disbelief of Captain Kearney's +narratives often produced a coolness between them for some days. + +The day after we sailed from Carlisle Bay I was asked to dine in the +cabin. The dinner was served upon plated dishes, which looked very +grand, but there was not much in them. "This plate," observed the +captain, "was presented to me by some merchants for my exertions in +saving their property from the Danes when I was cruising off +Heligoland." + +"Why, that lying steward of yours told me that you bought it at +Portsmouth," replied the first lieutenant: "I asked him in the galley +this morning." + +"How came you to assert such a confounded falsehood, sir?" said the +captain to the man who stood behind his chair. + +"I only said that I thought so," replied the steward. + +"Why, didn't you say that the bill had been sent in, through you, seven +or eight times, and that the captain had paid it with a flowing sheet?" + +"Did you dare say that, sir?" interrogated the captain, very angrily. + +"Mr Phillott mistook me, sir?" replied the steward. "He was so busy +damning the sweepers, that he did not hear me right. I said, the +midshipmen had paid their crockery bill with the fore-topsail." + +"Ay! ay!" replied the captain, "that's much more likely." + +"Well, Mr Steward," replied Mr Phillott, "I'll be d----d if you ar'n't +as big a liar as your--" (master, he was going to plump out, but +fortunately the first lieutenant checked himself, and added)--"as your +father was before you." + +The captain changed the conversation by asking me whether I would take a +slice of ham. "It's real Westphalia, Mr Simple; I have them sent me +direct by Count Troningsken, an intimate friend of mine, who kills his +own wild boars in the Hartz mountains." + +"How the devil do you get them over, Captain Kearney?" + +"There are ways and means of doing everything, Mr Phillott, and the +First Consul is not quite so bad as he is represented. The first batch +was sent over with a very handsome letter to me, written in his own +hand, which I will show you some of these days. I wrote to him in +return, and sent to him two Cheshire cheeses by a smuggler, and since +that they came regularly. Did you ever eat Westphalia ham, Mr Simple?" + +"Yes," replied I; "once I partook of one at Lord Privilege's." + +"Lord Privilege! why he's a distant relation of mine, a sort of fifth +cousin," replied Captain Kearney. + +"Indeed, sir!" replied I. + +"Then you must allow me to introduce you to a relation, Captain +Kearney," said the first lieutenant; "for Mr Simple is his grandson." + +"Is it possible? I can only say, Mr Simple, that I shall be most happy +to show you every attention, and am very glad that I have you as one of +my officers." + +Now although this was all false, for Captain Kearney was not in the +remotest manner connected with my family, yet having once asserted it, +he could not retract, and the consequence was, that I was much the +gainer by his falsehood, as he treated me very kindly afterwards, always +calling me _cousin_. + +The first lieutenant smiled and gave me a wink, when the captain had +finished his speech to me, as much as to say, "You're in luck," and then +the conversation changed. Captain Kearney certainly dealt in the +marvellous to admiration, and really told his stories with such +earnestness, that I actually believe that he thought he was telling the +truth. Never was there such an instance of confirmed habit. Telling a +story of a cutting-out expedition, he said, "The French captain would +have fallen by my hand, but just as I levelled my musket, a ball came, +and cut off the cock of the lock as clean as if it was done with a +knife--a very remarkable instance," observed he. + +"Not equal to what occurred in a ship I was in," replied the first +lieutenant, "when the second lieutenant was grazed by a grape-shot, +which cut off one of his whiskers, and turning round his head to +ascertain what was the matter, another grape-shot came and took off the +other. Now that's what I call a _close shave_." + +"Yes," replied Captain Kearney, "very close, indeed, if it were true; +but you'll excuse me, Mr Phillott, but you sometimes tell strange +stories. I do not mind it myself, but the example is not good to my +young relation here, Mr Simple." + +"Captain Kearney," replied the first lieutenant, laughing very +immoderately, "do you know what the pot called the kettle?" + +"No, sir, I do not," retorted the captain, with offended dignity. "Mr +Simple, will you take a glass of wine?" + +I thought that this little _brouillerie_ would have checked the captain; +it did so, but only for a few minutes, when he again commenced. The +first lieutenant observed that it would be necessary to let water into +the ship every morning, and pump it out, to avoid the smell of the +bilge-water. "There are worse smells than bilge-water," replied the +captain. "What do you think of a whole ship's company being nearly +poisoned with otto of roses? Yet that occurred to me when in the +Mediterranean. I was off Smyrna, cruising for a French ship, that was to +sail to France, with a pasha on board, as an ambassador. I knew she +would be a good prize, and was looking sharp out, when one morning we +discovered her on the lee bow. We made all sail, but she walked away +from us, bearing away gradually till we were both before the wind, and +at night we lost sight of her. As I knew that she was bound to +Marseilles, I made all sail to fall in with her again. The wind was +light and variable; but five days afterwards, as I lay in my cot, just +before daylight, I smelt a very strong smell, blowing in at the weather +port, and coming down the skylight, which was open; and after sniffing +at it two or three times, I knew it to be otto of roses. I sent for the +officer of the watch, and asked him if there was anything in sight. He +replied 'that there was not;' and I ordered him to sweep the horizon +with his glass, and look well out to windward. As the wind freshened, +the smell became more powerful. I ordered him to get the royal yards +across, and all ready to make sail, for I knew that the Turk must be +near us. At daylight there he was, just three miles ahead in the wind's +eye. But although he beat us going free, he was no match for us, on a +wind, and before noon we had possession of him and all his harem. +By-the-by, I could tell you a good story about the ladies. She was a +very valuable prize, and among other things, she had a _puncheon_ of +otto of roses on board--." + +"Whew!" cried the first lieutenant. "What! a whole puncheon?" + +"Yes," replied the captain, "a Turkish puncheon--not quite so large, +perhaps, as ours on board; their weights and measures are different. I +took out most of the valuables into the brig I commanded--about 20,000 +sequins--carpets--and among the rest, this cask of otto of roses, which +we had smelt three miles off. We had it safe on board, when the mate of +the hold, not slinging it properly, it fell into the spirit-room with a +run, and was stove to pieces. Never was such a scene; my first +lieutenant and several men on deck fainted; and the men in the hold were +brought up lifeless; it was some time before they were recovered. We let +the water into the brig, and pumped it out, but nothing would take away +the smell, which was so overpowering, that before I could get to Malta I +had forty men on the sick list. When I arrived there, I turned the mate +out of the service for his carelessness. It was not until after having +smoked the brig, and finding that of little use, after having sunk her +for three weeks, that the smell was at all bearable; but even then it +could never be eradicated, and the admiral sent the brig home, and she +was sold out of the service. They could do nothing with her at the +dockyards. She was broken up, and bought by the people at Brighton and +Tunbridge Wells, who used her timbers for turning fancy articles, which, +smelling as they did, so strongly of otto of roses, proved very +profitable. Were you ever at Brighton, Mr Simple?" + +"Never, sir." + +Just at this moment, the officer of the watch came down to say that +there was a very large shark under the counter, and wished to know if +the captain had any objection to the officers attempting to catch it. + +"By no means," replied Captain Kearney; "I hate sharks as I do the +devil. I nearly lost L14,000 by one, when I was in the Mediterranean." + +"May I inquire how, Captain Kearney?" said the first lieutenant, with a +demure face; "I'm very anxious to know." + +"Why the story is simply this," replied the captain. "I had an old +relation at Malta, whom I found out by accident--an old maid of sixty, +who had lived all her life on the island. It was by mere accident that I +knew of her existence. I was walking upon Strada Reale, when I saw a +large baboon that was kept there, who had a little fat pug-dog by the +tail, which he was pulling away with him, while an old lady was +screaming out for help: for whenever she ran to assist her dog, the +baboon made at her as if he would have ravished her, and caught her by +the petticoats with one hand, while he held the pug-dog fast by the +other. I owed that brute a spite for having attacked me one night when I +passed him, and perceiving what was going on, I drew my sword and gave +Mr Jacko such a clip as sent him away howling, and bleeding like a pig, +leaving me in possession of the little pug, which I took up and handed +to his mistress. The old lady trembled very much, and begged me to see +her safe home. She had a very fine house, and after she was seated on +the sofa, thanked me very much for my gallant assistance, as she termed +it, and told me her name was Kearney: upon this I very soon proved my +relationship with her, at which she was much delighted, requesting me to +consider her house as my home. I was for two years afterwards on that +station, and played my cards very well; and the old lady gave me a hint +that I should be her heir, as she had no other relations that she knew +anything of. At last I was ordered home, and not wishing to leave her, I +begged her to accompany me, offering her my cabin. She was taken very +ill a fortnight before we sailed, and made a will, leaving me her sole +heir; but she recovered, and got as fat as ever. Mr Simple, the wine +stands with you. I doubt if Lord Privilege gave you better claret than +there is in that bottle; I imported it myself ten years ago, when I +commanded the _Coquette_." + +"Very odd," observed the first lieutenant--"we bought some at Barbadoes +with the same mark on the bottles and cork." + +"That may be," replied the captain; "old-established houses all keep up +the same marks; but I doubt if your wine can be compared to this." + +As Mr Phillott wished to hear the end of the captain's story, he would +not contradict him this time, by stating what he knew to be the case, +that the captain had sent it on board at Barbadoes; and the captain +proceeded. + +"Well, I gave up my cabin to the old lady, and hung up my cot in the +gun-room during the passage home. + +"We were becalmed abreast of Ceuta for two days. The old lady was very +particular about her pug-dog, and I superintended the washing of the +little brute twice a week; but at last I was tired of it, and gave him +to my coxswain to bathe. My coxswain, who was a lazy fellow, without my +knowledge, used to put the little beast into the bight of a rope, and +tow him overboard for a minute or so. It was during this calm that he +had him overboard in this way, when a confounded shark rose from under +the counter, and took in the pug-dog at one mouthful. The coxswain +reported the loss as a thing of no consequence; but I knew better, and +put the fellow in irons. I then went down and broke the melancholy fact +to Miss Kearney, stating that I had put the man in irons, and would flog +him well. The old lady broke out into a most violent passion at the +intelligence, declared that it was my fault, that I was jealous of the +dog, and had done it on purpose. The more I protested, the more she +raved; and at last I was obliged to go on deck to avoid her abuse and +keep my temper. I had not been on deck five minutes before she came up-- +that is, was shoved up--for she was so heavy that she could not get up +without assistance. You know how elephants in India push the cannon +through a morass with their heads from behind; well, my steward used to +shove her up the companion-ladder just in the same way, with his head +completely buried in her petticoats. As soon as she was up, he used to +pull his head out, looking as red and hot as a fresh-boiled lobster. +Well, up she came, with her will in her hand, and, looking at me very +fiercely, she said, 'Since the shark has taken my dear dog, he may have +my will also,' and, throwing it overboard, she plumped down on the +carronade slide. 'It's very well, madam,' said I, 'but you'll be cool +by-and-by, and then you'll make another will.' 'I swear by all the hopes +that I have of going to heaven that I never will!' she replied. 'Yes, +you will, madam,' replied I. 'Never, so help me God! Captain Kearney; my +money may now go to my next heir, and that, you know, will not be you.' +Now, as I knew very well that the old lady was very positive and as good +as her word, my object was to recover the will, which was floating about +fifty yards astern, without her knowledge. I thought a moment, and then +I called the boatswain's mate to _pipe all hands to bathe_. 'You'll +excuse me, Miss Kearney,' said I, 'but the men are going to bathe, and I +do not think you would like to see them all naked. If you would, you can +stay on deck.' She looked daggers at me, and, rising from the carronade +slide, hobbled to the ladder, saying, 'that the insult was another proof +of how little I deserved any kindness from her.' As soon as she was +below, the quarter-boats were lowered down, and I went in one of them +and picked up the will, which still floated. Brigs having no +stern-windows, of course she could not see my manoeuvre, but thought +that the will was lost for ever. We had very bad weather after that, +owing to which, with the loss of her favourite pug, and constant +quarrelling with me--for I did all I could to annoy her afterwards--she +fell ill, and was buried a fortnight after she was landed at Plymouth. +The old lady kept her word; she never made another will. I proved the +one I had recovered at Doctors' Commons, and touched the whole of her +money." + +As neither the first lieutenant nor I could prove whether the story was +true or not, of course we expressed our congratulations at his good +fortune, and soon afterwards left the cabin to report his marvellous +story to our messmates. When I went on deck, I found that the shark had +just been hooked, and was hauling on board. Mr Phillott had also come on +deck. The officers were all eager about the shark, and were looking over +the side, calling to each other, and giving directions to the men. Now, +although certainly there was a want of decorum on the quarter-deck, +still, the captain having given permission, it was to be excused; but Mr +Phillott thought otherwise, and commenced in his usual style, beginning +with the marine officer. + +"Mr Westley, I'll trouble you not to be getting upon the hammocks. +You'll get off directly, sir. If one of your fellows were to do so, I'd +stop his grog for a month, and I don't see why you are to set a bad +example; you've been too long in barracks, sir, by half. Who is that? Mr +Williams and Mr Moore--both on the hammocks, too. Up to the foretopmast +head, both of you, directly. Mr Thomas, up to the main; and I say, you +youngster, stealing off, perch yourself upon the spanker-boom, and let +me know when you've rode to London. By God! the service is going to +hell! I don't know what officers are made of now-a-days. I'll marry some +of you young gentlemen to the gunner's daughter before long. +Quarter-deck's no better than a bear-garden. No wonder, when lieutenants +set the example." + +This latter remark could only be applied to O'Brien, who stood in the +quarter-boat giving directions, before the tirade of Mr Phillott stopped +the amusement of the party. O'Brien immediately stepped out of the boat, +and going up to Mr Phillott, touched his hat, and said, "Mr Phillott, we +had the captain's permission to catch the shark, and a shark is not to +be got on board by walking up and down on the quarter-deck. As regards +myself, as long as the captain is on board, I hold myself responsible to +him alone for my conduct; and if you think I have done wrong, forward +your complaint; but if you pretend to use such language to me, as you +have to others, I shall hold you responsible. I am here, sir, as an +officer and a gentleman, and will be treated as such; and allow me to +observe, that I consider the quarter-deck more disgraced by foul and +ungentlemanly language, than I do by an officer accidentally standing +upon the hammocks. However, as you have thought proper to interfere, you +may now get the shark on board yourself." + +Mr Phillott turned very red, for he never had come in contact in this +way with O'Brien. All the other officers had submitted quietly to his +unpleasant manner of speaking to them. "Very well, Mr O'Brien; I shall +hold you answerable for this language," replied he, "and shall most +certainly report your conduct to the captain." + +"I will save you the trouble; Captain Kearney is now coming up, and I +will report it myself." + +This O'Brien did, upon the captain's putting his foot on the +quarter-deck. + +"Well," observed the captain to Mr Phillott, "what is it you complain +of?" + +"Mr O'Brien's language, sir. Am I to be addressed on the quarter-deck in +that manner?" + +"I really must say, Mr Phillott," replied Captain Kearney, "that I do +not perceive anything in what Mr O'Brien said, but what is correct. I +command here; and if an officer so nearly equal in rank to yourself has +committed himself, you are not to take the law into your own hands. The +fact is, Mr Phillott, your language is not quite so correct as I could +wish it. I overheard every word that passed, and I consider that _you_ +have treated _your superior_ officer with disrespect--that is, _me_. I +gave permission that the shark should be caught, and with that +permission, I consequently allowed those little deviations from the +discipline of the service which must inevitably take place. Yet you have +thought proper to interfere with my permission, which is tantamount to +an order, and have made use of harsh language, and punished the young +gentlemen for obeying my injunctions. You will oblige me, sir, by +calling them all down, and in restraining your petulance for the future. +I will always support your authority when you are correct; but I regret +that in this instance you have necessitated me to weaken it." + +This was a most severe check to Mr Phillott, who immediately went below, +after hailing the mastheads and calling down the midshipmen. As soon as +he was gone we were all on the hammocks again; the shark was hauled +forward, hoisted on board, and every frying-pan in the ship was in +requisition. We were all much pleased with Captain Kearney's conduct on +this occasion; and, as O'Brien observed to me, "He really is a good +fellow and clever officer. What a thousand pities it is, that he is such +a confounded liar!" I must do Mr Phillott the justice to say that he +bore no malice on this occasion, but treated us as before, which is +saying a great deal in his favour, when it is considered what power a +first lieutenant has of annoying and punishing his inferiors. + + + + +Chapter XXXIII + +Another set-to between the captain and first lieutenant--Cutting-out +expedition--Mr Chucks mistaken--He dies like a gentleman--Swinburne +begins his account of the battle off St Vincent. + + +We had not been more than a week under the Danish island of St Thomas +when we discovered a brig close in-shore. We made all sail in chase, and +soon came within a mile and a half of the shore, when she anchored under +a battery, which opened its fire upon us. Their elevation was too great, +and several shots passed over us and between our masts. + +"I once met with a very remarkable circumstance," observed Captain +Kearney. "Three guns were fired at a frigate I was on board of from a +battery, all at the same time. The three shots cut away the three +topsail ties, and down came all our topsail yards upon the cap at the +same time. That the Frenchmen might not suppose that they had taken such +good aim, we turned up our hands to reef topsails; and by the time that +the men were off the yards the ties were spliced and the topsails run up +again." + +Mr Phillott could not stand this most enormous fib, and he replied, +"Very odd, indeed, Captain Kearney; but I have known a stranger +circumstance. We had put in the powder to the four guns on the main deck +when we were fighting the Danish gun-boats in a frigate I was in, and, +as the men withdrew the rammer, a shot from the enemy entered the +muzzle, and completed the loading of each gun. We fired their own shot +back upon them, and this occurred three times running." + +"Upon my word," replied Captain Kearney, who had his glass upon the +battery, "I think you must have dreamt that circumstance, Mr Phillott." + +"Not more than you did about the topsail ties, Captain Kearney." + +Captain Kearney at that time had the long glass in his hand, holding it +up over his shoulder. A shot from the battery whizzed over his head, and +took the glass out of his hand, shivering it to pieces. "That's once," +said Captain Kearney, very coolly; "but will you pretend that that could +ever happen three times running? They might take my head off, or my arm, +next time, but not another glass; whereas the topsail ties might be cut +by three different shot. But give me another glass, Mr Simple: I am +certain that this vessel is a privateer. What think you, Mr O'Brien?" + +"I am every bit of your opinion, Captain Kearney," replied O'Brien; "and +I think it would be a very pretty bit of practice to the ship's company +to take her out from under that footy battery." + +"Starboard the helm, Mr Phillott; keep away four points, and then we +will think of it to-night." + +The frigate was now kept away, and ran out of the fire of the battery. +It was then about an hour before sunset, and in the West Indies the sun +does not set as it does in the northern latitudes. There is no twilight: +he descends in glory, surrounded with clouds of gold and rubies in their +gorgeous tints; and once below the horizon, all is dark. As soon as it +was dark, we hauled our wind off shore; and a consultation being held +between the captain, Mr Phillott, and O'Brien, the captain at last +decided that the attempt should be made. Indeed, although cutting-out is +a very serious affair, as you combat under every disadvantage, still the +mischief done to our trade by the fast-sailing privateers was so great +in the West Indies, that almost every sacrifice was warrantable for the +interests of the country. Still, Captain Kearney, although a brave and +prudent officer--one who calculated chances, and who would not risk his +men without he deemed that necessity imperiously demanded that such +should be done--was averse to this attack, from his knowledge of the bay +in which the brig was anchored; and although Mr Phillott and O'Brien +both were of opinion that it should be a night attack, Captain Kearney +decided otherwise. He considered, that although the risk might be +greater, yet the force employed would be more consolidated, and that +those who would hold back in the night dare not do so during the day. +Moreover, that the people on shore in the battery, as well as those in +the privateer, would be on the alert all night, and not expecting an +attack during the day, would be taken off their guard. It was therefore +directed that everything should be in preparation during the night, and +that the boats should shove off before daylight, and row in-shore, +concealing themselves behind some rocks under the cliffs which formed +the cape upon one side of the harbour; and, if not discovered, remain +there till noon, at which time it was probable that the privateer's men +would be on shore, and the vessel might be captured without difficulty. + +It is always a scene of much interest on board a man-of-war when +preparations are made for an expedition of this description; and, as the +reader may not have been witness to them, it may perhaps be interesting +to describe them. The boats of men-of-war have generally two crews; the +common boats' crews, which are selected so as not to take away the most +useful men from the ship; and the service, or fighting boats' crews, +which are selected from the very best men on board. The coxswains of the +boats are the most trustworthy men in the ship, and, on this occasion, +have to see that their boats are properly equipped. The launch, yawl, +first and second cutters, were the boats appointed for the expedition. +They all carried guns mounted upon slides, which ran fore and aft +between the men. After the boats were hoisted out, the guns were lowered +down into them and shipped in the bows of the boats. The arm-chests were +next handed in, which contain the cartridges and ammunition. The shot +were put into the bottom of the boats; and so far they were all ready. +The oars of the boats were fitted to pull with grummets upon iron +thole-pins, that they might make little noise, and might swing fore and +aft without falling overboard when the boats pulled alongside the +privateer. A breaker or two (that is, small casks holding about seven +gallons each) of water was put into each boat, and also the men's +allowance of spirits, in case they should be detained by any unforeseen +circumstances. The men belonging to the boats were fully employed in +looking after their arms; some fitting their flints to their pistols, +others, and the major part of them, sharpening their cutlasses at the +grindstone, or with a file borrowed from the armourer,--all were busy +and all merry. The very idea of going into action is a source of joy to +an English sailor, and more jokes are made, more merriment excited, at +that time than at any other. Then, as it often happens that one or two +of the service boats' crews may be on the sick list, urgent +solicitations are made by others that they may supply their places. The +only parties who appear at all grave are those who are to remain in the +frigate, and not share in the expedition. There is no occasion to order +the boats to be manned, for the men are generally in long before they +are piped away. Indeed, one would think that it was a party of pleasure, +instead of danger and of death, upon which they were about to proceed. + +Captain Kearney selected the officers who were to have the charge of the +boats. He would not trust any of the midshipmen on so dangerous a +service. He said that he had known so many occasions in which their +rashness and foolhardiness had spoilt an expedition; he therefore +appointed Mr Phillott, the first lieutenant, to the launch; O'Brien to +the yawl; the master to the first, and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to the +second cutter. Mr Chucks was much pleased with the idea of having the +command of a boat, and asked me to come with him, to which I consented, +although I had intended, as usual, to have gone with O'Brien. + +About an hour before daylight we ran the frigate to within a mile and a +half of the shore, and the boats shoved off; the frigate then wore +round, and stood out in the offing, that she might at daylight be at +such a distance as not to excite any suspicion that our boats were sent +away, while we in the boats pulled quietly in-shore. We were not a +quarter of an hour before we arrived at the cape forming one side of the +bay, and were well secreted among the cluster of rocks which were +underneath. Our oars were laid in; the boats' painters made fast; and +orders given for the strictest silence. The rocks were very high, and +the boats were not to be seen without any one should come to the edge of +the precipice; and even then they would, in all probability, have been +supposed to have been rocks. The water was as smooth as glass, and when +it was broad daylight, the men hung listlessly over the sides of the +boats, looking at the corals below, and watching the fish as they glided +between. + +"I can't say, Mr Simple," said Mr Chucks to me in an under tone, "that I +think well of this expedition; and I have an idea that some of us will +lose the number of our mess. After a calm comes a storm; and how quiet +is everything now! But I'll take off my great coat, for the sun is hot +already. Coxswain, give me my jacket." + +Mr Chucks had put on his great coat, but not his jacket underneath, +which he had left on one of the guns on the main deck, all ready to +change as soon as the heavy dew had gone off. The coxswain handed him +the jacket, and Mr Chucks threw off his great coat to put it on; but +when it was opened it proved, that by mistake he had taken away the +jacket, surmounted by two small epaulettes, belonging to Captain +Kearney, which the captain's steward, who had taken it out to brush, had +also laid upon the same gun. + +"By all the nobility of England!" cried Mr Chucks, "I have taken away +the captain's jacket by mistake. Here's a pretty mess! if I put on my +great coat I shall be dead with sweating; if I put on no jacket I shall +be roasted brown; but if I put on the captain's jacket I shall be +considered disrespectful." + +The men in the boats tittered; and Mr Phillott, who was in the launch +next to us, turned round to see what was the matter; O'Brien was sitting +in the stern-sheets of the launch with the first lieutenant, and I +leaned over and told them. + +"By the powers! I don't see why the captain's jacket will be at all hurt +by Mr Chucks putting it on," replied O'Brien; "unless, indeed, a bullet +were to go through it, and then it won't be any fault of Mr Chucks." + +"No," replied the first lieutenant; "and if one did, the captain might +keep the jacket, and swear that the bullet went round his body without +wounding him. He'll have a good yarn to spin. So put it on, Mr Chucks; +you'll make a good mark for the enemy." + +"That I will stand the risk of with pleasure," observed the boatswain to +me, "for the sake of being considered a gentleman. So here's on with +it." + +There was a general laugh when Mr Chucks pulled on the captain's jacket, +and sank down in the stern-sheets of the cutter, with great complacency +of countenance. One of the men in the boat that we were in thought +proper, however, to continue his laugh a little longer than Mr Chucks +considered necessary, who, leaning forward, thus addressed him: "I say, +Mr Webber, I beg leave to observe to you, in the most delicate manner in +the world--just to hint to you--that it is not the custom to laugh at +your superior officer. I mean just to insinuate, that you are a d----d +impudent son of a sea cook; and if we both live and do well, I will +prove to you, that if I am to be laughed at in a boat with the captain's +jacket on, that I am not to be laughed at on board the frigate with the +boatswain's rattan in my fist; and so look out, my hearty, for squalls, +when you come on the forecastle; for I'll be d----d if I don't make you +see more stars than God Almighty ever made, and cut more capers than all +the dancing-masters in France. Mark my words, you burgoo-eating, +pea-soup-swilling, trowsers-scrubbing son of a bitch." + +Mr Chucks, having at the end of this oration raised his voice above the +pitch required by the exigency of the service, was called to order by +the first lieutenant, and again sank back into the stern-sheets with all +the importance and authoritative show peculiarly appertaining to a pair +of epaulettes. + +We waited behind the rocks until noonday, without being discovered by +the enemy; so well were we concealed. We had already sent an officer, +who, carefully hiding himself by lying down on the rocks, had several +times reconnoitred the enemy. Boats were passing and repassing +continually from the privateer to the shore; and it appeared that they +went on shore full of men, and returned with only one or two; so that we +were in great hopes that we should find but few men to defend the +vessel. Mr Phillott looked at his watch, held it up to O'Brien, to prove +that he had complied exactly with the orders he had received from the +captain, and then gave the word to get the boats under weigh. The +painters were cast off by the bowmen, the guns were loaded and primed, +the men seized their oars, and in two minutes we were clear of the +rocks, and drawn up in a line within a quarter of a mile from the +harbour's mouth, and not half a mile from the privateer brig. We rowed +as quickly as possible, but we did not cheer until the enemy fired the +first gun; which he did from a quarter unexpected, as we entered the +mouth of the harbour, with our union jack trailing in the water over our +stern, for it was a dead calm. It appeared, that at the low point under +the cliffs, at each side of the little bay, they had raised a water +battery of two guns each. One of these guns, laden with grape shot, was +now fired at the boats, but the elevation was too low, and although the +water was ploughed up to within five yards of the launch, no injury was +received. We were equally fortunate in the discharge of the other three +guns; two of which we passed so quickly, that they were not aimed +sufficiently forward, so that their shot fell astern; and the other, +although the shot fell among us, did no further injury than cutting in +half two of the oars of the first cutter. + +In the meantime, we had observed that the boats had shoved off from the +privateer as soon as they had perceived us, and had returned to her +laden with men; the boats had been despatched a second time, but had not +yet returned. They were now about the same distance from the privateer +as were our boats, and it was quite undecided which of us would be first +on board. O'Brien perceiving this, painted out to Mr Phillott that we +should first attack the boats, and afterwards board on the side to which +they pulled; as, in all probability, there would be an opening left in +the boarding nettings, which were tied up to the yard-arms, and +presented a formidable obstacle to our success. Mr Phillott agreed with +O'Brien: he ordered the bowmen to lay in their oars and keep the guns +pointed ready to fire at the word given, and desiring the other men to +pull their best. Every nerve, every muscle was brought into play by our +anxious and intrepid seamen. When within about twenty yards of the +vessel, and also of the boats, the orders were given to fire--the +carronade of the launch poured out round and grape so well directed, +that one of the French boats sunk immediately; and the musket balls with +which our other smaller guns were loaded, did great execution among +their men. In one minute more, with three cheers from our sailors, we +were all alongside together, English and French boats pell-mell, and a +most determined close conflict took place. The French fought +desperately, and as they were overpowered, they were reinforced by those +from the privateer, who could not look on and behold their companions +requiring their assistance, without coming to their aid. Some jumped +down into our boats from the chains, into the midst of our men; others +darted cold shot at us, either to kill us or to sink our boats; and thus +did one of the most desperate hand-to-hand conflicts take place that +ever was witnessed. But it was soon decided in our favour, for we were +the stronger party and the better armed; and when all opposition was +over, we jumped into the privateer, and found not a man left on board, +only a large dog, who flew at O'Brien's throat as he entered the port. + +"Don't kill him," said O'Brien, as the sailors hastened to his +assistance; "only take away his gripe." + +The sailors disengaged the dog, and O'Brien led him up to a gun, saying, +"By Jasus, my boy, you are my prisoner." + +But although we had possession of the privateer, our difficulties, as it +will prove, were by no means over. We were now exposed not only to the +fire of the two batteries at the harbour-mouth which we had to pass, but +also to that of the battery at the bottom of the bay, which had fired at +the frigate. In the meantime, we were very busy in cutting the cable, +lowering the topsails, and taking the wounded men on board the +privateer, from out of the boats. All this was, however, but the work of +a few minutes. Most of the Frenchmen were killed; our own wounded +amounted to only nine seamen and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was shot +through the body, apparently with little chance of surviving. As Mr +Phillott observed, the captain's epaulettes had made him a mark for the +enemy, and he had fallen in his borrowed plumes. + +As soon as they were all on board, and laid on the deck--for there were, +as near as I can recollect, about fourteen wounded Frenchmen as well as +our own--tow-ropes were got out forwards, the boats were manned, and we +proceeded to tow the brig out of the harbour. + +It was a dead calm, and we made but little way, but our boat's crew, +flushed with victory, cheered, and rallied, and pulled with all their +strength. The enemy perceiving that the privateer was taken, and the +French boats drifting empty up the harbour, now opened their fire upon +us, and with great effect. Before we had towed abreast of the two water +batteries, we had received three-shots between wind and water from the +other batteries, and the sea was pouring fast into the vessel. I had +been attending to poor Mr Chucks, who lay on the starboard side, near +the wheel, the blood flowing from his wound, and tracing its course down +the planks of the deck, to a distance of some feet from where he lay. He +appeared very faint, and I tied my handkerchief round his body, so as to +stop the effusion of blood, and brought him some water, with which I +bathed his face, and poured some into his mouth. He opened his eyes +wide, and looked at me. + +"Ah, Mr Simple," said he, faintly, "is it you? It's all over with me; +but it could not be better--could it?" + +"How do you mean?" inquired I. + +"Why, have I not fallen dressed like an officer and a gentleman?" said +he, referring to the captain's jacket and epaulettes. "I'd sooner die +now with this dress on, than recover to put on the boatswain's uniform. +I feel quite happy." + +He pressed my hand, and then closed his eyes again, from weakness. We +were now nearly abreast of the two batteries on the points, the guns of +which had been trained so as to bear upon our boats that were towing out +the brig. The first shot went through the bottom of the launch, and sank +her; fortunately, all the men were saved; but as she was the boat that +towed next to the brig, great delay occurred in getting the others clear +of her, and taking the brig again in tow. The shot now poured in thick, +and the grape became very annoying. Still our men gave way, cheering at +every shot fired, and we had nearly passed the batteries, with trifling +loss, when we perceived that the brig was so full of water that she +could not swim many minutes longer, and that it would be impossible to +tow her alongside of the frigate. Mr Phillott, under these +circumstances, decided that it would be useless to risk more lives, and +that the wounded should be taken out of the brig, and the boats should +pull away for the ship. He desired me to get the wounded men into the +cutter, which he sent alongside, and then to follow the other boats. I +made all the haste I could, not wishing to be left behind; and as soon +as all our wounded men were in the boats, I went to Mr Chucks, to remove +him. He appeared somewhat revived, but would not allow us to remove him. + +"My dear Mr Simple," said he, "it is of no use; I never can recover it, +and I prefer dying here. I entreat you not to move me. If the enemy take +possession of the brig before she sinks, I shall be buried with military +honours; if they do not, I shall at least die in the dress of a +gentleman. Hasten away as fast as you can, before you lose more men. +Here I stay--that's decided." + +I expostulated with him, but at that time two boats full of men +appeared, pulling out of the harbour to the brig. The enemy had +perceived that our boats had deserted her, and were coming to take +possession. I had therefore no time to urge Mr Chucks to change his +resolution, and not wishing to force a dying man, I shook his hand and +left him. It was with some difficulty I escaped, for the boats had come +up close to the brig; they chased me a little while, but the yawl and +the cutter turning back to my assistance, they gave up the pursuit. On +the whole, this was a very well arranged and well conducted expedition. +The only man lost was Mr Chucks, for the wounds of the others were none +of them mortal. Captain Kearney was quite satisfied with our conduct, +and so was the admiral, when it was reported to him. Captain Kearney did +indeed grumble a little about his jacket, and sent for me to inquire why +I had not taken it off Mr Chucks, and brought it on board. As I did not +choose to tell him the exact truth, I replied, "That I could not disturb +a dying man, and that the jacket was so saturated with blood, that he +never could have worn it again," which was the case. + +"At all events, you might have brought away my epaulettes," replied he; +"but you youngsters think of nothing but gormandizing." + +I had the first watch that night, when Swinburne, the quarter-master, +came up to me, and asked me all the particulars of the affair, for he +was not in the boats. "Well," said he, "that Mr Chucks appeared to be a +very good boatswain in his way, if he could only have kept his rattan a +little quiet. He was a smart fellow, and knew his duty. We had just such +another killed in our ship, in the action off Cape St Vincent." + +"What! were you in that action?" replied I. + +"Yes, I was, and belonged to the _Captain_, Lord Nelson's ship." + +"Well, then, suppose you tell me all about it." + +"Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, I've no objection to spin you a yarn, now and +then," replied Swinburne, "but, as Mr Chucks used to say, allow me to +observe, in the most delicate manner in the world, that I perceive that +the man who has charge of your hammock, and slings you a clean one now +and then, has very often a good glass of grog for his _yarns_, and I do +not see but that mine are as well worth a glass of grog as his." + +"So they are, Swinburne, and better too, and I promise you a good stiff +one to-morrow evening." + +"That will do, sir: now then, I'll tell you all about it, and more about +it too than most can, for I know how the action was brought about." + +I have the log, marked the board, and then sat down abaft on the signal +chest with Swinburne, who commenced his narrative as follows:-- + +"You must know, Mr Simple, that when the English fleet came down the +Mediterranean, after the 'vackyation of Corsica, they did not muster +more than seventeen sail of the line, while the Spanish fleet from +Ferrol and Carthagena had joined company at Cadiz, and 'mounted to near +thirty. Sir John Jervis had the command of our fleet at the time, but as +the Dons did not seem at all inclined to come out and have a brush with +us, almost two to one, Sir John left Sir Hyde Parker, with six sail of +the line, to watch the Spanish beggars, while he went in to Lisbon with +the remainder of the fleet, to water and refit. Now, you see, Mr Simple, +Portugal was at that time what they calls neutral, that is to say, she +didn't meddle at all in the affair, being friends with both parties, and +just as willing to supply fresh beef and water to the Spaniards as to +the English, if so be the Spaniards had come out to ax for it, which +they dar'n't. The Portuguese and the English have always been the best +of friends, because we can't get no port wine anywhere else, and they +can't get nobody else to buy it of them; so the Portuguese gave up their +arsenal at Lisbon, for the use of the English, and there we kept all our +stores, under the charge of that old dare-devil, Sir Isaac Coffin. Now +it so happened, that one of the clerks in old Sir Isaac's _office_, a +Portuguese chap, had been some time before that in the office of the +Spanish ambassador; he was a very smart sort of a chap, and sarved as +interpreter, and the old commissioner put great faith in him." + +"But how did you learn all this, Swinburne?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple. I steered the yawl as coxswain, and when +admirals and captains talk in the stern-sheets, they very often forget +that the coxswain is close behind them. I only learnt half of it that +way; the rest I put together when I compared logs with the admiral's +steward, who, of course, heard a great deal now and then. The first I +heard of it was when old Sir John called out to Sir Isaac, after the +second bottle, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who killed the Spanish messenger?' +'Not I, by God!' replied Sir Isaac; 'I only left him for dead;' and then +they both laughed, and so did Nelson, who was sitting with them. Well, +Mr Simple, it was reported to Sir Isaac that his clerk was often seen +taking memorandums of the different orders given to the fleet, +particularly those as to there being no wasteful expenditure of his +Majesty's stores. Upon which, Sir Isaac goes to the admiral, and +requests that the man might be discharged. Now, old Sir John was a sly +old fox, and he answered, 'Not so, commissioner; perhaps we may catch +them in their own trap.' So the admiral sits down, and calls for pen and +ink, and he flourishes out a long letter to the commissioner, stating +that all the stores of the fleet were expended, representing as how it +would be impossible to go to sea without a supply, and wishing to know +when the commissioner expected more transports from England. He also +said that if the Spanish fleet were now to come out from Cadiz, it would +be impossible for him to protect Sir H. Parker with his six sail of the +line, who was watching the Spanish fleet, as he could not quit the port +in his present condition. To this letter the commissioner answered that, +from the last accounts, he thought that in the course of six weeks or +two months they might receive supplies from England, but that sooner +than that was impossible. These letters were put in the way of the +d----d Portuguese spy-clerk, who copied them, and was seen that evening +to go into the house of the Spanish ambassador. Sir John then sent a +message to Ferro--that's a small town on the Portuguese coast to the +southward--with a despatch to Sir Hyde Parker, desiring him to run away +to Cape St Vincent, and decoy the Spanish fleet there, in case they +should come out after him. Well, Mr Simple, so far d'ye see the train +was well laid. The next thing to do was to watch the Spanish +ambassador's house, and see if he sent away any despatches. Two days +after the letters had been taken to him by this rascal of a clerk, the +Spanish ambassador sent away two messengers--one for Cadiz and the other +for Madrid, which is the town where the King of Spain lives. The one to +Cadiz was permitted to go, but the one to Madrid was stopped by the +directions of the admiral, and this job was confided to the +commissioner, Sir Isaac, who settled it somehow or another; and this was +the reason why the admiral called out to him, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who +killed the messenger?' They brought back his despatches, by which they +found out that advice had been sent to the Spanish admiral--I forget his +name, something like _Magazine_--informing him of the supposed crippled +state of our squadron. Sir John, taking it for granted that the +Spaniards would not lose an opportunity of taking six sail of the line-- +more English ships than they have ever taken in their lives--waited a +few days to give them time, and then sailed from Lisbon for Cape St +Vincent, where he joined Sir Hyde Parker, and fell in with the Spaniards +sure enough, and a pretty drubbing we gave them. Now, it's not everybody +that could tell you all that, Mr Simple." + +"Well, but now for the action, Swinburne." + +"Lord bless you, Mr Simple! it's now past seven bells, and I can't fight +the battle of St Vincent in half an hour; besides which, it's well worth +another glass of grog to hear all about that battle." + +"Well, you shall have one, Swinburne; only don't forget to tell it to +me." + +Swinburne and I then separated, and in less than an hour afterwards I +was dreaming of despatches--Sir John Jervis--Sir Isaac Coffin--and +Spanish messengers. + + + + +Chapter XXXIV + +O'Brien's good advice--Captain Kearney again deals in the marvellous. + + +I do not remember any circumstance in my life which, at that time, lay +so heavily on my mind as the loss of poor Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who, +of course, I took it for granted I should never see again. I believe +that the chief cause was that at the time I entered the service, and +every one considered me to be the fool of the family, Mr Chucks and +O'Brien were the only two who thought of and treated me differently; and +it was their conduct which induced me to apply myself and encouraged me +to exertion. I believe that many a boy, who, if properly patronized, +would turn out well, is, by the injudicious system of browbeating and +ridicule, forced into the wrong path, and, in his despair, throws away +all self-confidence, and allows himself to be carried away by the stream +to perdition. O'Brien was not very partial to reading himself. He played +the German flute remarkably well, and had a very good voice. His chief +amusement was practising, or rather playing, which is a very different +thing; but although he did not study himself, he always made me come +into his cabin for an hour or two every day, and, after I had read, +repeat to him the contents of the book. By this method he not only +instructed me, but gained a great deal of information himself; for he +made so many remarks upon what I had read, that it was impressed upon +both our memories. + +"Well, Peter," he would say, as he came into the cabin, "what have you +to tell me this morning? Sure it's you that's the schoolmaster, and not +me--for I learn from you every day." + +"I have not read much, O'Brien, to-day, for I have been thinking of poor +Mr Chucks." + +"Very right for you so to do, Peter. Never forget your friends in a +hurry. You'll not find too many of them as you trot along the highway of +life." + +"I wonder whether he is dead?" + +"Why, that's a question I cannot answer. A bullet through the chest +don't lengthen a man's days, that's certain; but this I know, that he'll +not die if he can help it, now that he's got the captain's jacket on." + +"Yes; he always aspired to be a gentleman, which was absurd enough in a +boatswain." + +"Not at all absurd, Peter, but very absurd of you to talk without +thinking. When did any one of his shipmates ever know Mr Chucks to do an +unhandsome or mean action? Never; and why? Because he aspired to be a +gentleman, and that feeling kept him above it. Vanity's a confounded +donkey, very apt to put his head between his legs, and chuck us over; +but pride's a fine horse, who will carry us over the ground, and enable +us to distance our fellow-travellers. Mr Chucks has pride, and that's +always commendable, even in a boatswain. How often have you read of +people rising from nothing, and becoming great men? This was from +talent, sure enough; but it was talent with pride to force it onward, +not talent with vanity to check it." + +"You are very right, O'Brien; I spoke foolishly." + +"Never mind, Peter, nobody heard you but me; so it's of no consequence. +Don't you dine in the cabin to-day?" + +"Yes." + +"So do I. The captain is in a most marvellous humour this morning. He +told me one or two yarns that quite staggered my politeness and my +respect for him on the quarter-deck. What a pity it is that a man should +have gained such a bad habit!" + +"He's quite incurable, I'm afraid," replied I; "but, certainly, his fibs +do no harm; they are what they call white lies. I do not think he would +really tell a lie--that is, a lie which would be considered to disgrace +a gentleman." + +"Peter, _all_ lies disgrace a gentleman, white or black, although I +grant there is a difference. To say the least of it, it is a dangerous +habit; for white lies are but the gentlemen ushers to black ones. I know +but of one point on which a lie is excusable, and that is, when you wish +to deceive the enemy. Then your duty to your country warrants your lying +till you're black in the face; and, for the very reason that it goes +against your grain, it becomes, as it were, a sort of virtue." + +"What was the difference between the marine officer and Mr Phillott that +occurred this morning?" + +"Nothing at all in itself. The marine officer is a bit of a gaby, and +takes offence where none is meant. Mr Phillott has a foul tongue; but he +has a good heart." + +"What a pity it is!" + +"It is a pity, for he's a smart officer; but the fact is, Peter, that +junior officers are too apt to copy their superiors, and that makes it +very important that a young gentleman should sail with a captain who is +a gentleman. Now, Phillott served the best of his time with Captain +Ballover, who is notorious in the service for foul and abusive language. +What is the consequence? That Phillott and many others who have served +under him have learnt his bad habit." + +"I should think, O'Brien, that the very circumstance of having had your +feelings so often wounded by such language when you were a junior +officer, would make you doubly careful not to make use of it to others, +when you had advanced in the service." + +"Peter, that's just the _first_ feeling, which wears away after a time; +but at last, your own sense of indignation becomes blunted, and becoming +indifferent to it, you forget also that you wound the feelings of +others, and carry the habit with you, to the great injury and disgrace +of the service. But it's time to dress for dinner, so you'd better make +yourself scarce, Peter, while I tidivate myself off a little, according +to the rules and regulations of His Majesty's service, when you are +asked to dine with the skipper." + +We met at the captain's table, where we found, as usual, a great display +of plate, but very little else, except the ship's allowance. We +certainly had now been cruising some time, and there was some excuse for +it; but still, few captains would have been so unprovided. "I'm afraid, +gentlemen, you will not have a very grand dinner," observed the captain, +as the steward removed the plated covers of the dishes; "but when on +service we must rough it out how we can. Mr O'Brien, pea-soup? I +recollect faring harder than this through one cruise in a flush vessel. +We were thirteen weeks up to our knees in water, and living the whole +time upon raw pork--not being able to light a fire during the cruise." + +"Pray, Captain Kearney, may I ask where this happened?" + +"To be sure. It was off Bermudas: we cruised for seven weeks before we +could find the Islands, and began verily to think that the Bermudas were +themselves on a cruise." + +"I presume, sir, you were not so sorry to have a fire to cook your +provisions when you came to an anchor?" said O'Brien. + +"I beg your pardon," replied Captain Kearney; "we had become so +accustomed to raw provisions and wet feet, that we could not eat our +meals cooked, or help dipping our legs over the side, for a long while +afterwards. I saw one of the boat-keepers astern catch a large +barracouta and eat it alive--indeed, if I had not given the strictest +orders, and flogged half-a-dozen of them, I doubt whether they would not +have eaten their victuals raw to this day. The force of habit is +tremendous." + +"It is, indeed," observed Mr Phillott, drily, and winking to us, +referring to the captain's incredible stories. + +"It is, indeed," repeated O'Brien; "we see the ditch in our neighbour's +eye, and cannot observe the log of wood in our own;" and O'Brien winked +at me, referring to Phillott's habit of bad language. + +"I once knew a married man," observed the captain, "who had been always +accustomed to go to sleep with his hand upon his wife's head, and would +not allow her to wear a nightcap in consequence. Well, she caught cold +and died, and he never could sleep at night until he took a +clothes-brush to bed with him, and laid his hand upon that, which +answered the purpose--such was the force of habit." + +"I once saw a dead body galvanized," observed Mr Phillott: "it was the +body of a man who had taken a great deal of snuff during his lifetime, +and as soon as the battery was applied to his spine, the body very +gently raised its arm, and put its fingers to its nose, as if it was +taking a pinch." + +"You saw that yourself, Mr Phillott?" observed the captain, looking at +the first lieutenant earnestly in the face. + +"Yes, sir," replied Mr Phillott, coolly. + +"Have you told that story often?" + +"Very often, sir." + +"Because I know that some people, by constantly telling a story, at last +believe it to be true; not that I refer to you, Mr Phillott; but still, +I should recommend you not to tell that story where you are not well +known, or people may doubt your credibility." + +"I make it a rule to believe everything myself," observed Mr Phillott, +"out of politeness, and I expect the same courtesy from others." + +"Then, upon my soul! when you tell that story, you trespass very much +upon our good manners. Talking of courtesy, you must meet a friend of +mine, who has been a courtier all his life; he cannot help bowing, I +have seen him bow to his horse and thank him after he had dismounted-- +beg pardon of a puppy for treading on his tail; and one day, when he +fell over a scraper, he took his hat off, and made it a thousand +apologies for his inattention." + +"Force of habit again," said O'Brien. + +"Exactly so. Mr Simple, will you take a slice of this pork? and perhaps +you'll do me the honour to take a glass of wine? Lord Privilege would +not much admire our dinner to-day, would he, Mr Simple?" + +"As a variety he might, sir, but not for a continuance." + +"Very truly said. Variety is charming. The negroes here get so tired of +salt fish and occra broth, that they eat dirt by way of a relish. Mr +O'Brien, how remarkably well you played that sonata of Pleydel's this +morning." + +"I am happy that I did not annoy you, Captain Kearney, at all events," +replied O'Brien. + +"On the contrary, I am very partial to good music. My mother was a great +performer. I recollect once, she was performing a piece on the piano in +which she had to imitate a _thunderstorm_. So admirably did she hit it +off, that when we went to tea all the cream was _turned sour_, as well +as three casks of _beer_ in the cellar." + +At this assertion Mr Phillott could contain himself no longer; he burst +out into a loud laugh, and having a glass of wine to his lips, spattered +it all over the table, and over me, who unfortunately was opposite to +him. + +"I really beg pardon, Captain Kearney, but the idea of such an expensive +talent was too amusing. Will you permit me to ask you a question? As +there could not have been thunder without lightning, were any people +killed at the same time by the electric fluid of the piano?" + +"No sir," replied Captain Kearney, very angrily; "but her performance +_electrified_ us, which was something like it. Perhaps, Mr Phillott, as +you lost your last glass of wine, you will allow me to take another with +you?" + +"With great pleasure," replied the first lieutenant, who perceived that +he had gone far enough. + +"Well, gentlemen," said the captain, "we shall soon be in the land of +plenty. I shall cruise a fortnight more, and then join the admiral at +Jamaica. We must make out our despatch relative to the cutting out of +the _Sylvia_ (that was the name of the privateer brig), and I am happy +to say that I shall feel it my duty to make honourable mention of all +the party present. Steward, coffee." + +The first lieutenant, O'Brien, and I, bowed to this flattering avowal on +the part of the captain; as for me, I felt delighted. The idea of my +name being mentioned in the "Gazette," and the pleasure that it would +give to my father and mother, mantled the blood in my cheeks till I was +as red as a turkey-cock. + +"_Cousin_ Simple," said the captain, good-naturedly, "you have no +occasion to blush; your conduct deserves it; and you are indebted to Mr +Phillott for having made me acquainted with your gallantry." + +Coffee was soon over, and I was glad to leave the cabin, and be alone, +that I might compose my perturbed mind. I felt too happy. I did not, +however, say a word to my messmates, as it might have created feelings +of envy or ill-will. O'Brien gave me a caution not to do so, when I met +him afterwards, so that I was very glad that I had been so circumspect. + + + + +Chapter XXXV + +Swinburne continues his narrative of the battle off Cape St Vincent. + + +The second night after this, we had the middle watch, and I claimed +Swinburne's promise that he would spin his yarn, relative to the battle +of St Vincent. "Well, Mr Simple, so I will; but I require a little +priming, or I shall never go off." + +"Will you have your glass of grog before or after?" + +"Before, by all means, if you please, sir. Run down and get it, and I'll +heave the log for you in the meantime, when we shall have a good hour +without interruption, for the sea-breeze will be steady, and we are +under easy sail." I brought up a stiff glass of grog, which Swinburne +tossed off, and as he finished it, sighed deeply as if in sorrow that +there was no more. Having stowed away the tumbler in one of the capstern +holes for the present, we sat down upon a coil of ropes under the +weather bulwarks, and Swinburne, replacing his quid of tobacco, +commenced as follows-- + +"Well, Mr Simple, as I told you before, old Jervis started with all his +fleet for Cape St Vincent. We lost one of our fleet--and a three-decker +too--the _St George_; she took the ground, and was obliged to go back to +Lisbon; but we soon afterwards were joined by five sail of the line, +sent out from England, so that we mustered fifteen sail in all. We had +like to lose another of our mess, for d'ye see, the old _Culloden_ and +_Colossus_ fell foul of each other, and the _Culloden_ had the worst on +it; but Troubridge, who commanded her, was not a man to shy his work, +and ax to go in to refit, when there was a chance of meeting the enemy-- +so he patched her up somehow or another, and reported himself ready for +action the very next day. Ready for action he always was, that's sure +enough, but whether his ship was in a fit state to go into action is +quite another thing. But as the sailors used to say in joking, he was a +_true bridge_, and you might trust to him; which meant as much as to +say, that he knew how to take his ship into action, and how to fight her +when he was fairly in it. I think it was the next day that Cockburn +joined us in the _Minerve_, and he brought Nelson along with him with +the intelligence that the Dons had chased him, and that the whole +Spanish fleet was out in pursuit of us. Well, Mr Simple, you may guess +we were not a little happy in the _Captain_, when Nelson joined us, as +we knew that if he fell in with the Spaniards our ship would cut a +figure--and so she did sure enough. That was on the morning of the 13th, +and old Jervis made the signal to prepare for action, and keep close +order, which means, to have your flying jib-boom in at the starn windows +of the ship ahead of you; and we did keep close order, for a man might +have walked right round from one ship to the other, either lee or +weather line of the fleet. I sha'n't forget that night, Mr Simple, as +long as I live and breathe. Every now and then we heard the signal guns +of the Spanish fleet booming at a distance to windward of us, and you +may guess how our hearts leaped at the sound, and how we watched with +all our ears for the next gun that was fired, trying to make out their +bearings and distance, as we assembled in little knots upon the booms +and weather-gangway. It was my middle watch, and I was signalman at the +time, so of course I had no time to take a caulk if I was inclined. When +my watch was over I could not go down to my hammock, so I kept the +morning watch too, as did most of the men on board: as for Nelson, he +walked the deck the whole night, quite in a fever. At daylight it was +thick and hazy weather, and we could not make them out; but, about five +bells, the old _Culloden_, who, if she had broke her nose, had not lost +the use of her eyes, made the signal for a part of the Spanish fleet in +sight. Old Jervis repeated the signal to prepare for action, but he +might have saved the wear and tear of the bunting, for we were all +ready, bulk-heads down, screens up, guns shotted, tackles rove, yards +slung, powder filled, shot on deck, and fire out--and what's more, Mr +Simple, I'll be d----d if we weren't all willing too. About six bells +in the forenoon, the fog and haze all cleared away at once, just like +the raising of the foresail that they lower down at the Portsmouth +theatre, and discovered the whole of the Spanish fleet. I counted them +all. 'How many, Swinburne?' cries Nelson. 'Twenty-six sail, sir,' +answered I. Nelson walked the quarter-deck backwards and forwards, +rubbing his hands, and laughing to himself, and then he called for his +glass, and went to the gangway with Captain Miller. 'Swinburne, keep a +good look upon the admiral,' says he. 'Ay, ay, sir,' says I. Now you +see, Mr Simple, twenty-six sail against fifteen were great odds upon +paper; but we didn't think so, because we know'd the difference between +the two fleets. There was our fifteen sail of the line, all in apple-pie +order, packed up as close as dominoes, and every man on board of them +longing to come to the scratch; while there was their twenty-six, all +_somehow nohow_, two lines here and _no lines_ there, with a great gap +of water in the middle of them. For this gap between their ships we all +steered, with all the sail we could carry because, d'ye see, Mr Simple, +by getting them on both sides of us, we had the advantage of fighting +both broadsides, which is just as easy as fighting one, and makes +shorter work of it. Just as it struck seven bells, Troubridge opened the +ball _setting_ to half a dozen of the Spaniards, and making them _reel_ +'Tom Collins' whether or no. Bang--bang--bang, bang! Oh, Mr Simple, it's +a beautiful sight to see the first guns fired that are to bring on a +general action. He's the luckiest dog, that Troubridge,' said Nelson, +stamping with impatience. Our ships were soon hard at it, hammer and +tongs (my eyes, how they did pelt it in!), and old Sir John, in the +_Victory_, smashed the cabin windows of the Spanish admiral, with such a +hell of a raking broadside, that the fellow bore up as if the devil +kicked him. Lord a mercy, you might have drove a Portsmouth waggon into +his starn--the broadside of the _Victory_ had made room enough. However, +they were soon all smothered up in smoke, and we could not make out how +things were going on--but we made a pretty good guess. Well, Mr Simple, +as they say at the play, that was act the first, scene the first; and +now we had to make our appearance, and I'll leave you to judge, after +I've told my tale, whether the old _Captain_ wasn't principal performer, +and _top sawyer_ over them all. But stop a moment, I'll just look at the +binnacle, for that young topman's nodding at the wheel.--I say, Mr +Smith, are you shutting your eyes to keep them warm, and letting the +ship run half a point out of her course? Take care I don't send for +another helmsman, that's all, and give the reason why. You'll make a wry +face upon six-water grog to-morrow, at seven bells. D----n your eyes, +keep them open--can't you?" + +Swinburne, after this genteel admonition to the man at the wheel, +reseated himself and continued his narrative. + +"All this while, Mr Simple, we in the _Captain_ had not fired a gun; but +were ranging up as fast as we could to where the enemy lay in a heap. +There were plenty to pick and choose from; and Nelson looked out sharp +for a big one, as little boys do when they have to choose an apple; and, +by the piper that played before Moses! it was a big one that he ordered +the master to put him alongside of. She was a four-decker, called the +_Santissima Trinidad_. We had to pass some whoppers, which would have +satisfied any reasonable man; for there was the _San Josef_, and +_Salvador del Mondo_ and _San Nicolas_: but nothing would suit Nelson +but this four-decked ship; so we crossed the hawse of about six of them, +and as soon as we were abreast of her, and at the word 'Fire!' every gun +went off at once, slap into her, and the old _Captain_ reeled at the +discharge, as if she was drunk. I wish you'd only seen how we pitched it +into this _Holy Trinity_; she was _holy_ enough before we had done with +her, riddled like a sieve, several of her ports knocked into one, and +every scupper of her running blood and water. Not but what she stood to +it as bold as brass, and gave us nearly gun for gun, and made a very +pretty general average in our ship's company. Many of the old captains +went to kingdom-come in that business, and many more were obliged to +bear up for Greenwich Hospital. + +"'Fire away, my lads--steady aim!' cries Nelson. 'Jump down there, Mr +Thomas; pass the word to reduce the cartridges, the shot go clean +through her. Double shot the guns there, fore and aft.' + +"So we were at it for about half an hour, when our guns became so hot +from quick firing, that they bounced up to the beams overhead, tearing +away their ringbolts, and snapping their breechings like rope-yarns. By +this time we were almost as much unrigged as if we had been two days +paying off in Portsmouth harbour. The four-decker forged ahead, and +Troubridge, in the jolly old _Culloden_, came between us and two other +Spanish ships, who were playing into us. She was as fresh as a daisy, +and gave them a dose which quite astonished them. They shook their ears, +and fell astern, when the _Blenheim_ laid hold of them, and mauled them +so that they went astern again. But it was out of the frying-pan into, +the fire: for the _Orion, Prince George_, and one or two others, were +coming up, and knocked the very guts out of them. I'll be d----d if +they forget the 14th of April, and sarve them right, too. Wasn't a +four-decker enough for any two-decker, without any more coming on us? +and couldn't the beggars have matched themselves like gentlemen? Well, +Mr Simple, this gave us a minute or two to fetch, our breath, let the +guns cool, and repair damages, and swab the blood from the decks; but we +lost our four-decker, for we could not get near her again." + +"What odd names the Spaniards give to their ships, Swinburne?" + +"Why yes, they do; it would almost appear wicked to belabour the _Holy +Trinity_ as we did. But why they should call a four-decked ship the +_Holy Trinity_, seeing as how there's only three of them, Father, Son, +and Holy Ghost, I can't tell. Bill Saunders said that the fourth deck +was for the Pope, who was as great a personage as the others; but I +can't understand how that can be. Well, Mr Simple, as I was head +signalman, I was perched on the poop, and didn't serve at a gun. I had +to report all I could see, which was not much, the smoke was so thick; +but now and then I could get a peep, as it were through the holes in the +blanket. Of course I was obliged to keep my eye as much as possible upon +the admiral, not to make out his signals, for Commodore Nelson wouldn't +thank me for that; I knew he hated a signal when in action, so I never +took no notice of the bunting, but just watched to see what he was +about. So while we are repairing damages, I'll just tell you what I saw +of the rest of the fleet. As soon as old Jervis had done for the Spanish +admiral, he hauled his wind on the larboard tack, and followed by four +or five other ships, weathered the Spanish line, and joined Collingwood +in the _Excellent_. Then they all dashed through the line; the +_Excellent_ was the leading ship, and she first took the shine out of +the _Salvador del Mondo_, and then left her to be picked up by the other +ships, while she attacked a two-decker, who hauled down her colours--I +forget her name just now. As soon as the _Victory_ ran alongside of the +_Salvador del Mondo_, down went her colours, and _excellent_ reasons had +she for striking her flag. And now, Mr Simple. The old _Captain_ comes +into play again. Having parted company with the four-decker, we had +recommenced action with the _San Nicolas_, a Spanish eighty, and while +we were hard at it, old Collingwood comes up in the _Excellent_. The +_San Nicolas_, knowing that the _Excellent's_ broadside would send her +to old Nick, put her helm up to avoid being raked: in so doing, she fell +foul of the _San Josef_, a Spanish three-decker, and we being all cut to +pieces and unmanageable--all of us indeed reeling about like drunken +men--Nelson ordered his helm a-starboard, and in a jiffy there we were, +all three hugging each other, running in one another's guns, smashing +our chain-plates, and poking our yard-arms through each other's canvas. + +"'All hands to board!' roared Nelson, leaping on the hammocks and waving +his sword. + +"'Hurrah! hurrah!' echoed through the decks, and up flew the men, like +as many angry bees out of a bee-hive. In a moment pikes, tomahawks, +cutlasses, and pistols were seized (for it was quite unexpected, Mr +Simple), and our men poured into the eighty-gun ship, and in two minutes +the decks were cleared and all the Dons pitched below. I joined the +boarders and was on the main deck when Captain Miller came down, and +cried out 'On deck again immediately.' Up we went, and what do you think +it was for, Mr Simple? Why to board a second time; for Nelson having +taken the two-decker, swore that he'd have the three-decker as well. So +away we went again, clambering up her lofty sides how we could, and +dropping down on her decks like hailstones. We all made for the +quarter-deck, beat down every Spanish beggar that showed fight, and in +five minutes more we had hauled down the colours of two of the finest +ships in the Spanish navy. If that wasn't taking the shine out of the +Dons, I should like to know what is. And didn't the old captains cheer +and shake hands, as Commodore Nelson stood on the deck of the _San +Josef_, and received the swords of the Spanish officers! There was +enough of them to go right round the capstern, and plenty to spare. Now, +Mr Simple, what do you think of that for a spree?" + +"Why, Swinburne, I can only say that I wish I had been there." + +"So did every man in the fleet, Mr Simple, I can tell you." + +"But what became of the _Santissima Trinidad_? + +"Upon my word, she behaved one _deck_ better than all the others. She +held out against four of our ships for a long while, and then hauled +down her colours, and no disgrace to her, considering what a precious +hammering she had taken first. But the lee division of the Spanish +weather fleet, if I may so call it, consisting of eleven sail of the +line, came up to her assistance, and surrounded her, so that they got +her off. Our ships were too much cut up to commence a new action, and +the admiral made the signal to secure the prizes. The Spanish fleet then +did what they should have done before--got into line; and we lost no +time in doing the same. But we both had had fighting enough." + +"But do you think, Swinburne, that the Spaniards fought well?" + +"They'd have fought better, if they'd only have known how. There's no +want of courage in the Dons, Mr Simple, but they did not support each +other. Only observe how Troubridge supported us. By God, Mr Simple, he +was the _real fellow_, and Nelson knew it well. He was Nelson's +right-hand man; but you know, there wasn't room for _two_ Nelsons. Their +ships engaged held out well, it must be acknowledged, but why weren't +they all in their proper berths? Had they kept close order of sailing, +and had all fought as well as those who were captured, it would not have +been a very easy matter for fifteen ships to gain a victory over +twenty-six. That's long odds, even when backed with British seamen." + +"Well, how did you separate?" + +"Why, the next morning the Spaniards had the weathergage, so they had +the option whether to fight or not. At one time they had half a mind, +for they bore down to us; upon which we hauled our wind to show them we +were all ready to meet them, and then they thought better of it, and +rounded-to again. So as they wouldn't fight, and we didn't wish it, we +parted company in the night; and two days afterwards we anchored, with +our four prizes, in Lagos Bay. So now you have the whole of it, Mr +Simple, and I've talked till I'm quite hoarse. You haven't by chance +another drop of the stuff left to clear my throat? It would be quite a +charity." + +"I think I have, Swinburne; and as you deserve it, I will go and fetch +it." + + + + +Chapter XXXVI + +A letter from Father M'Grath, who diplomatizes--When priest meets +priest, then comes the tug of war--Father O'Toole not to be made a tool +of. + + +We continued our cruise for a fortnight, and then made sail for Jamaica, +where we found the admiral at anchor at Port Royal, but our signal was +made to keep under weigh, and Captain Kearney, having paid his respects +to the admiral, received orders to carry despatches to Halifax. Water +and provisions were sent on board by the boats of the admiral's ships, +and, to our great disappointment, as the evening closed in, we were +again standing out to sea, instead of, as we had anticipated, enjoying +ourselves on shore; but the fact was, that orders had arrived from +England to send a frigate immediately up to the admiral at Halifax, to +be at his disposal. + +I had, however, the satisfaction to know that Captain Kearney had been +true to his word in making mention of my name in the despatch, for the +clerk showed me a copy of it. Nothing occurred worth mentioning during +our passage, except that Captain Kearney was very unwell nearly the +whole of the time, and seldom quitted his cabin. It was in October that +we anchored in Halifax harbour, and the Admiralty, expecting our arrival +there, had forwarded our letters. There were none for me, but there was +one for O'Brien, from Father M'Grath, the contents of which were as +follows:-- + +"MY DEAR SON,--And a good son you are, and that's the truth on it, or +devil a bit should you be a son of mine. You've made your family quite +contented and peaceable, and they never fight for the _praties_ now-- +good reason why they shouldn't, seeing that there's a plenty for all of +them, and the pig craturs into the bargain. Your father and your mother, +and your brother, and your three sisters, send their duty to you, and +their blessings too--and you may add my blessing, Terence, which is +worth them all; for won't I get you out of purgatory in the twinkling of +a bed-post? Make yourself quite aisy on that score, and lave it all to +me; only just say a _pater_ now and then, that when St Peter lets you +in, he mayn't throw it in your teeth, that you've saved your soul by +contract, which is the only way by which emperors and kings ever get to +heaven. Your letter from Plymouth came safe to hand: Barney, the +post-boy, having dropped it under foot, close to our door, the big pig +took it into his mouth and ran away with it; but I caught sight of him, +and _speaking_ to him, he let it go, knowing (the 'cute cratur!) that I +could read it better than him. As soon as I had digested the contents, +which it was lucky the pig did not instead of me, I just took my meal +and my big stick, and then set off for Ballycleuch. + +"Now you know, Terence, if you haven't forgot--and if you have, I'll +just remind you--that there's a flaunty sort of young woman at the +poteen shop there, who calls herself Mrs O'Rourke, wife to a Corporal +O'Rourke, who was kilt or died one day, I don't know which, but that's +not of much consequence. The devil a bit do I think the priest ever gave +the marriage-blessing to that same; although she swears that she was +married on the rock of Gibraltar--it may be a strong rock fore I know, +but it's not the rock of salvation like the seven sacraments, of which +marriage is one. _Benedicite_! Mrs O'Rourke is a little too apt to fleer +and jeer at the priests; and if it were not that she softens down her +pertinent remarks with a glass or two of the real poteen, which proves +some respect for the church, I'd excommunicate her body and soul, and +every body and every soul that put their lips to the cratur at her door. +But she must leave that off, as I tell her, when she gets old and ugly, +for then all the whisky in the world sha'n't save her. But she's a fine +woman now, and it goes agin my conscience to help the devil to a fine +woman. Now this Mrs O'Rourke knows everybody and everything that's going +on in the country about; and she has a tongue which has never had a +holiday since it was let loose. + +"'Good morning to ye, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I. + +"'An' the top of the morning to you, Father M'Grath,' says she, with a +smile; 'what brings you here? Is it a journey that you're taking to buy +the true wood of the cross? or is it a purty girl that you wish to +confess, Father M'Grath? or is it only that you're come for a drop of +poteen, and a little bit of chat with Mrs O'Rourke?' + +"'Sure it's I who'd be glad to find the same true wood of the cross, Mrs +O'Rourke, but it's not grown, I suspect, at your town of Ballycleuch; +and it's no objection I'd have to confess a purty girl like yourself, +Mrs O'Rourke, who'll only tell me half her sins, and give me no trouble; +but it's the truth, that I'm here for nothing else but to have a bit of +chat with yourself, dainty dear, and taste your poteen, just by way of +keeping my mouth nate and clane.' + +"So Mrs O'Rourke poured out the real stuff, which I drank to her health; +and then says I, putting down the bit of a glass, 'So you've a stranger +come, I find, in your parts, Mrs O'Rourke.' + +"'I've heard the same,' replied she. So you observe, Terence, I came to +the fact all at once by a guess. + +"'I am tould,' says I, 'that he's a Scotchman, and spakes what nobody +can understand.' + +"'Devil a bit,' says she, 'he's an Englishman, and speaks plain enough.' + +"'But what can a man mane, to come here and sit down all alone?' says I. + +"'All alone, Father M'Grath!' replied she; 'is a man all alone when he's +got his wife and childer, and more coming, with the blessing of God?' + +"'But those boys are not his own childer, I believe,' says I. + +"'There again you're all in a mistake, Father M'Grath,' rejoins she. +'The childer are all his own, and all girls to boot. It appears that +it's just as well that you come down, now and then, for information, to +our town of Ballycleuch.' + +"'Very true, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I; 'and who is it that knows everything +so well as yourself?' You observe, Terence, that I just said everything +contrary and _arce versa_, as they call it, to the contents of your +letter; for always recollect, my son, that if you would worm a secret +out of a woman, you'll do more by contradiction than you ever will by +coaxing--so I went on: 'Anyhow, I think it's a burning shame, Mrs +O'Rourke, for a gentleman to bring over with him here from England a +parcel of lazy English servants, when there's so many nice boys and +girls here to attind upon them.' + +"'Now there you're all wrong again, Father M'Grath,' says she. 'Devil a +soul has he brought from the other country, but has hired them all here. +Arn't there Ella Flanagan for one maid, and Terence Driscol for a +footman? and it's well that he looks in his new uniform, when he comes +down for the newspapers; and arn't Moggy Cala there to cook the dinner, +and pretty Mary Sullivan for a nurse for the babby as soon as it comes +into the world?' + +"'Is it Mary Sullivan you mane?' says I; 'she that was married about +three months back, and is so quick in child-getting, that she's all but +ready to fall to pieces in this same time?' + +"'It's exactly she,' says Mrs O'Rourke; 'and do you know the reason?' + +"'Devil a bit,' says I; 'how should I?' + +"'Then it's just that she may send her own child away, and give her milk +to the English babby that's coming; because the lady is too much of a +lady to have a child hanging to her breast.' + +"'But suppose Mary Sullivan's child ar'n't born till afterwards, how +then?" says I. 'Speak, Mrs O'Rourke, for you're a sensible woman.' + +"'How then?' says she. 'Och! that's all arranged; for Mary says that +she'll be in bed a week before the lady, so that's all right, you'll +perceive, Father M'Grath.' + +"'But don't you perceive, sensible woman as you are, that a young woman, +who is so much out of her reckoning as to have a child three months +after her marriage, may make a little mistake in her lying-in +arithmetic, Mrs O'Rourke.' + +"'Never fear, Father M'Grath, Mary Sullivan will keep her word; and +sooner than disappoint the lady, and lose her place, she'll just tumble +down-stairs, and won't that put her to bed fast enough?' + +"'Well, that's what I call a faithful good servant that earns her +wages,' says I; 'so now I'll just take another glass, Mrs O'Rourke, and +thank you too. Sure you're the woman that knows everything, and a mighty +pretty woman into the bargain.' + +"'Let me alone now, Father M'Grath, and don't be pinching me that way, +anyhow.' + +"'It was only a big flea that I perceived hopping on your gown, my +darling, devil anything else.' + +"'Many thanks to you, father, for that same; but the next time you'd +kill my fleas, just wait until they're in a _more dacent_ situation.' + +"'Fleas are fleas, Mrs O'Rourke, and we must catch 'em when we can, and +how we can, and as we can, so no offence. A good night's rest to you, +Mrs O'Rourke--when do you mean to confess?' + +"'I've an idea that I've too many fleas about me to confess to you just +now, Father M'Grath, and that's the truth on it. So a pleasant walk back +to you.' + +"So you'll perceive, my son, that having got all the information from +Mrs O'Rourke, it's back I went to Ballyhinch, till I heard it whispered +that there were doings down at the old house at Ballycleuch. Off I set, +and went to the house itself, as priests always ought to be welcomed at +births, and marriages, and deaths, being, as you know, of great use on +such occasions--when who should open the door but Father O'Toole, the +biggest rapparee of a priest in the whole of Ireland. Didn't he steal a +horse, and only save his neck by benefit of clergy? and did he ever give +absolution to a young woman without making her sin over again? 'What may +be your pleasure here, Father M'Grath?' says he, holding the door with +his hand. + +"'Only just to call and hear what's going on.' + +"'For the matter of that,' says he, 'I'll just tell you that we're all +going on very well; but ar'n't you ashamed of yourself, Father M'Grath, +to come here to interfere with my flock, knowing that I confess the +house altogether?' + +"'That's as may be,' says I; 'but I only wanted to know what the lady +had brought into the world.' + +"'It's a _child_' says he. + +"'Indeed!' says I; 'many thanks for the information; and pray what is it +that Mary Sullivan has brought into the world?' + +"'That's a _child_ too,' says he; 'and now that you know all about it, +good evening to you, Father M'Grath.' And the ugly brute slammed the +door right in my face. + +"'Who stole a horse?' cries I; but he didn't hear me--more's the pity. + +"So you'll perceive, my dear boy, that I have found out something, at +all events, but not so much as I intended; for I'll prove to Father +O'Toole that he's no match for Father M'Grath. But what I find out must +be reserved for another letter, seeing that it's not possible to tell it +to you in this same. Praties look well, but somehow or another, +_clothes_ don't grow upon trees in ould Ireland; and one of your +half-quarterly bills, or a little prize-money, if it found its way here, +would add not a little to the respectability of the family appearance. +Even my cassock is becoming too _holy_ for a parish priest; not that I +care about it so much, only Father O'Toole, the baste! had on a bran new +one--not that I believe that he ever came honestly by it, as I have by +mine--but, get it how you may, a new gown always looks better than an +old one, that's certain. So no more at present from your loving friend +and confessor, + +"URTAGH M'GRATH." + +"Now, you'll observe, Peter," said O'Brien, after I had read the letter, +"that, as I supposed, your uncle meant mischief when he went over to +Ireland. Whether the children are both boys or both girls, or your +uncle's is a boy, and the other is a girl, there is no knowing at +present. If an exchange was required, it's made, that's certain; but I +will write again to Father M'Grath, and insist upon his finding out the +truth, if possible. Have you any letter from your father?" + +"None, I am sorry to say. I wish I had, for he would not have failed to +speak on the subject." + +"Well, never mind, it's no use dreaming over the matter; we must do our +best when we get to England ourselves, and in the meantime trust to +Father M'Grath. I'll go and write to him while my mind's full of it." +O'Brien wrote his letter, and the subject was not started again. + + + + +Chapter XXXVII + +Captain Kearney's illness--He makes his will, and devises sundry +chateaux en Espagne for the benefit of those concerned--The legacy duty +in this instance not ruinous--He signs, seals, and dies. + + +The captain, as was his custom, went on shore, and took up his quarters +at a friend's house; that is to say, the house of an acquaintance, or +any polite gentleman who would ask him to take a dinner and a bed. This +was quite sufficient for Captain Kearney, who would fill his +portmanteau, and take up his quarters, without thinking of leaving them +until the ship sailed, or some more advantageous invitation was given. +This conduct in England would have very much trespassed on our ideas of +hospitality; but in our foreign settlements and colonies, where the +society is confined and novelty is desirable, a person who could amuse +like Captain Kearney was generally welcome, let him stay as long as he +pleased. All sailors agree in asserting that Halifax is one of the most +delightful ports in which a ship can anchor. Everybody is hospitable, +cheerful, and willing to amuse and be amused. It is, therefore, a very +bad place to send a ship to if you wish her to refit in a hurry; unless, +indeed, the admiral is there to watch over your daily progress, and a +sharp commissioner to expedite your motions in the dockyard. The admiral +was there when we arrived, and we should not have lain there long, had +not the health of Captain Kearney, by the time that we were ready for +sea, been so seriously affected, that the doctor was of opinion that he +could not sail. Another frigate was sent to our intended +cruising-ground, and we lay idle in port. But we consoled ourselves: if +we did not make prize-money, at all events, we were very happy, and the +major part of the officers very much in love. + +We had remained in Halifax harbour about three weeks, when a very great +change for the worse took place in Captain Kearney's disease. Disease, +indeed, it could hardly be called. He had been long suffering from the +insidious attacks of a hot climate, and though repeatedly advised to +invalid, he never would consent. His constitution appeared now to be +breaking up. In a few days he was so ill, that, at the request of the +naval surgeons, he consented to be removed to the hospital, where he +could command more comforts than in any private house. He had not been +at the hospital more than two days, when he sent for me, and stated his +wish that I should remain with him. "You know, Peter, that you are a +cousin of mine, and one likes to have one's relations near one when we +are sick, so bring your traps on shore. The doctor has promised me a +nice little room for yourself, and you shall come and sit with me all +day." I certainly had no objection to remain with him, because I +considered it my duty so to do, and I must say that there was no +occasion for me to make any effort to entertain him, as he always +entertained me; but I could not help seriously reflecting, and feeling +much shocked, at a man, lying in so dangerous a state--for the doctors +had pronounced his recovery to be impossible--still continuing a system +of falsehood during the whole day, without intermission. But it really +appeared in him to be innate; and, as Swinburne said, "if he told truth, +it was entirely by mistake." + +"Peter," said he, one day, "there's a great draught. Shut the door, and +put on some more coals." + +"The fire does not draw well, sir," replied I, "without the door is +open." + +"It's astonishing how little people understand the nature of these +things. When I built my house, called Walcot Abbey, there was not a +chimney would draw; I sent for the architect and abused him, but he +could not manage it: I was obliged to do it myself." + +"Did you manage it, sir?" + +"Manage it--I think I did. The first time I lighted the fire, I opened +the door, and the draught was so great, that my little boy, William, who +was standing in the current of air, would have gone right up the +chimney, if I had not caught him by the petticoats; as it was, his frock +was on fire." + +"Why sir, it must have been as bad as a hurricane!" + +"No, no, not quite so bad--but it showed what a little knowledge of +philosophical arrangement could effect. We have no hurricanes in +England, Peter; but I have seen a very pretty whirlwind when I was at +Walcot Abbey." + +"Indeed, sir." + +"Yes; it cut four square haystacks quite round, and I lost twenty tons +of hay; it twisted the iron lamp-post at the entrance just as a porpoise +twists a harpoon, and took up a sow and her litter of pigs, that were +about a hundred yards from the back of the house, and landed them safe +over the house to the front, with the exception of the old sow putting +her shoulder out." + +"Indeed, sir." + +"Yes, but what was strange, there were a great many rats in the hayrick, +and up they went with the hay. Now, Peter, by the laws of gravitation, +they naturally come down before the hay, and I was walking with my +greyhound, or rather terrier, and after one coming down close to her, +which she killed, it was quite ridiculous to witness her looking up in +the air, and watching for the others." + +"A greyhound did you say, sir, or a terrier?" + +"Both, Peter; the fact is, she had been a greyhound, but breaking her +foreleg against a stump, when coursing, I had the other three amputated +as well, and then she made a capital terrier. She was a great favourite +of mine." + +"Well," observed I, "I have read something like that in Baron +Munchausen." + +"Mr Simple," said the captain, turning on his elbow and looking me +severely in the face, "what do you mean to imply?" + +"Oh, nothing, sir, but I have read a story of that kind." + +"Most probably; the great art of invention is to found it upon facts. +There are some people who out of a mole-hill will make a mountain; and +facts and fiction become so blended nowadays, that even truth becomes a +matter of doubt." + +"Very true, sir," replied I; and as he did not speak for some minutes, I +ventured to bring my Bible to his bedside, as if I was reading it to +myself. + +"What are you reading, Peter?" said he. + +"Only a chapter in the Bible, sir," said I. "Would you like that I +should read aloud?" + +"Yes, I'm very fond of the Bible--it's the book of _truth_. Peter, read +me about Jacob, and his weathering Esau with a mess of pottage, and +obtaining his father's blessing." I could not help thinking it singular +that he should select a portion in which, for divine reasons, a lie was +crowned with success and reward. + +When I had finished it, he asked me to read something more; I turned +over to the Acts of the Apostles, and commenced the chapter in which +Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead. When I had finished, he observed +very seriously, "That is a very good lesson for young people, Peter, and +points out that you never should swerve from the truth. Recollect, as +your motto, Peter, to 'tell truth and shame the devil.'" + +After this observation I laid down the book, as it appeared to me that +he was quite unaware of his propensity; and without a sense of your +fault, how can repentance and amendment be expected? He became more +feeble and exhausted every day, and, at last, was so weak that he could +scarcely raise himself in his bed. One afternoon he said, "Peter, I +shall make my will, not that I am going to kick the bucket just yet; but +still it is every man's duty to set his house in order, and it will +amuse me; so fetch pen and paper, and come and sit down by me." + +I did as he requested. + +"Write, Peter, that I, Anthony George William Charles Huskisson Kearney +(my father's name was Anthony, Peter; I was christened George, after the +present Regent, William and Charles after Mr Pitt and Mr Fox, who were +my sponsors; Huskisson is the name of my great uncle, whose property +devolves to me; he's eighty-three now, so he can't last long)--have you +written down that?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Being in sound mind, do hereby make my last will and testament, +revoking all former wills." + +"Yes, sir." + +"I bequeath to my dearly beloved wife, Augusta Charlotte Kearney (she +was named after the Queen and Princess Augusta, who held her at the +baptismal font), all my household furniture, books, pictures, plate, and +houses, for her own free use and will, and to dispose of at her pleasure +upon her demise. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Also, the interest of all my money in the three percents, reduced, and +in the long annuities, and the balance in my agent's hands, for her +natural life. At her death to be divided into equal portions between my +two children, William Mohamed Potemkin Kearney, and Caroline Anastasia +Kearney. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well, then, Peter, now for my real property. My estate in Kent (let me +see, what is the name of it?)--Walcot Abbey, my three farms in the Vale +of Aylesbury, and the marsh lands in Norfolk, I bequeath to my two +children aforenamed, the proceeds of the same to be laid up, deducting +all necessary expenses for their education, for their sole use and +benefit. Is that down?" + +"Not yet, sir--'use and benefit.' Now it is, sir." + +"Until they come to the age of twenty-one years; or in case of my +daughter, until she marries with the consent of my executors, then to be +equally and fairly valued and divided between them. You observe, Peter, +I never make any difference between girls and boys--a good father will +leave one child as much as another. Now, I'll take my breath a little." + +I was really astonished. It was well known that Captain Kearney had +nothing but his pay, and that it was the hopes of prize-money to support +his family, which had induced him to stay out so long in the West +Indies. It was laughable; yet I could not laugh: there was a melancholy +feeling at such a specimen of insanity, which prevented me. + +"Now, Peter, we'll go on," said Captain Kearney, after a pause of a few +minutes. "I have a few legacies to bequeath. First, to all my servants +L50 each, and two suits of mourning; to my nephew, Thomas Kearney, of +Kearney Hall, Yorkshire, I bequeath the sword presented me by the Grand +Sultan. I promised it to him, and although we have quarrelled, and not +spoken for years, I always keep my word. The plate presented me by the +merchants and underwriters of Lloyd's, I leave to my worthy friend, the +Duke of Newcastle. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well; my snuff-box, presented me by Prince Potemkin, I bequeath to +Admiral Sir Isaac Coffin; and, also, I release him from the mortgage +which I hold over his property of the Madeline Islands, in North +America. By-the-bye, say, and further, I bequeath to him the bag of +snuff presented to me by the Dey of Algiers; he may as well have the +snuff as he has the snuff-box. Is that down?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well then, now, Peter, I must leave you something." + +"Oh, never mind me," replied I. + +"No, no, Peter, I must not forget my cousin. Let me see; you shall have +my fighting sword. A real good one, I can tell you. I once fought a duel +with it at Palermo, and ran a Sicilian prince so clean through the body, +and it held so tight, that we were obliged to send for a pair of +post-horses to pull it out again. Put that down as a legacy for my +cousin, Peter Simple. I believe that is all. Now for my executors; and I +request my particular friends, the Earl of Londonderry, the Marquis of +Chandos, and Mr John Lubbock, banker, to be my executors, and leave each +of them the sum of one thousand pounds for their trouble, and in token +of regard. That will do, Peter. Now, as I have left so much real +property, it is necessary that there should be three witnesses; so call +in two more, and let me sign in your presence." + +This order was obeyed, and this strange will duly attested, for I hardly +need say, that even the presents he had pretended to receive were +purchased by himself at different times; but such was the force of his +ruling passion even to the last. Mr Phillott and O'Brien used to come +and see him, as did occasionally some of the other officers, and he was +always cheerful and merry, and seemed to be quite indifferent about his +situation, although fully aware of it. His stories, if anything, became +more marvellous, as no one ventured to express a doubt as to their +credibility. + +I had remained in the hospital about a week, when Captain Kearney was +evidently dying: the doctor came, felt his pulse, and gave it as his +opinion that he could not outlive the day. This was on a Friday, and +there certainly was every symptom of dissolution. He was so exhausted +that he could scarcely articulate; his feet were cold, and his eyes +appeared glazed, and turned upwards. The doctor remained an hour, felt +his pulse again, shook his head, and said to me, in a low voice, "He is +quite gone." As soon as the doctor quitted the room, Captain Kearney +opened his eyes, and beckoned me to him. "He's a confounded fool, +Peter," said he: "he thinks I am slipping my wind now--but I know +better; going I am, 'tis true--but I shan't die till next Thursday." +Strange to say, from that moment he rallied; and although it was +reported that he was dead, and the admiral had signed the acting order +for his successor, the next morning, to the astonishment of everybody, +Captain Kearney was still alive. He continued in this state, between +life and death, until the Thursday next, the day on which he asserted +that he would die--and, on that morning, he was evidently sinking fast. +Towards noon, his breathing became much oppressed and irregular, and he +was evidently dying; the rattle in his throat commenced; and I watched +at his bedside, waiting for his last gasp, when he again opened his +eyes, and beckoning me, with an effort, to put my head close to him to +hear what he had to say, he contrived, in a sort of gurgling whisper, +and with much difficulty, to utter--"Peter, I'm going now--not that the +rattle--in my throat--is a sign of death: for I once knew a man--to +_live_ with--_the rattle in his throat_--for _six weeks_." He fell back +and expired, having, perhaps, at his last gasp, told the greatest lie of +his whole life. + +Thus died this most extraordinary character, who, in most other points, +commanded respect: he was a kind man and a good officer; but from the +idiosyncrasy of his disposition, whether from habit or from nature, +could not speak the truth. I say from _nature_, because I have witnessed +the vice of stealing equally strong, and never to be eradicated. It was +in a young messmate of good family, and who was supplied with money to +almost any extent: he was one of the most generous, open-hearted lads +that I ever knew; he would offer his purse, or the contents of his +chest, to any of his messmates, and, at the same time, would steal +everything that he could lay his hands upon. I have known him watch for +hours, to steal what could be of no use to him, as, for instance, an +_odd_ shoe, and that much too small for his foot. What he stole he would +give away the very next day; but to check it was impossible. It was so +well known, that if anything was missed, we used first to apply to his +chest to see if it was there, and usually found the article in question. +He appeared to be wholly insensible to shame upon this subject, though +in every other he showed no want of feeling or of honour; and, strange +to say, he never covered his theft with a lie. After vain attempts to +cure him of this propensity, he was dismissed the service as +incorrigible. + +Captain Kearney was buried in the churchyard with the usual military +honours. In his desk we found directions, in his own hand, relative to +his funeral, and the engraving on his tombstone. In these, he stated his +aged to be thirty-one years. If this was correct, Captain Kearney, from +the time that he had been in the service of his country, must have +entered the navy just _four months before_ he was born. It was +unfortunate that he commenced the inscription with "Here lies Captain +Kearney," &c. &c. His tombstone had not been set up twenty-four hours +before somebody, who knew his character, put a dash under one word, as +emphatic as it was true of the living man, "Here _lies_ Captain." + + + + +Chapter XXXVIII + +Captain Horton--Gloomy news from home--Get over head and ears in the +water, and find myself afterwards growing one way, and my clothes +another--Though neither as rich as a Jew, nor as large as a camel, I +pass through my examination, which my brother candidates think passing +strange. + + +The day after Captain Kearney's decease, his acting successor made his +appearance on board. The character of Captain Horton was well known to +us from the complaints made by the officers belonging to his ship, of +his apathy and indolence; indeed, he went by the _soubriquet_ of "the +Sloth." It certainly was very annoying to his officers to witness so +many opportunities of prize-money and distinction thrown away through +the indolence of his disposition. Captain Horton was a young man of +family who had advanced rapidly in the service from interest, and from +occasionally distinguishing himself. In the several cutting-out +expeditions, on which he had not volunteered but had been ordered, he +had shown, not only courage, but a remarkable degree of coolness in +danger and difficulty, which had gained him much approbation: but it was +said that this coolness arose from his very fault--an unaccountable +laziness. He would walk away, as it were, from the enemy's fire, when +others would hasten, merely because he was so apathetic that he would +not exert himself to run. In one cutting-out expedition in which he +distinguished himself, it is said that having to board a very high +vessel, and that in a shower of grape and musketry, when the boat dashed +alongside, and the men were springing up, he looked up at the height of +the vessel's sides, and exclaimed, with a look of despair, "My God! must +we really climb up that vessel's decks?" When he had gained the deck, +and became excited, he then proved how little fear had to do with the +remark, the captain of the ship falling by his hand, as he fought in +advance on his own men. But this peculiarity, which in a junior officer +was of little consequence, and a subject of mirth, in a captain became +of a very serious nature. The admiral was aware how often he had +neglected to annoy or capture the enemy when he might have done it; and, +by such neglect, Captain Horton infringed one of the articles of war, +the punishment awarded to which infringement is _death_. His +appointment, therefore, to the _Sanglier_ was as annoying to us as his +quitting his former ship was agreeable to those on board of her. + +As it happened, it proved of little consequence: the admiral had +instructions from home to advance Captain Horton to the first vacancy, +which of course he was obliged to comply with; but not wishing to keep +on the station an officer who would not exert himself, he resolved to +send her to England with despatches and retain the other frigate which +had been ordered home, and which we had been sent up to replace. We +therefore heard it announced with feelings of joy, mingled with regret, +that we were immediately to proceed to England. For my part, I was glad +of it. I had now served my time as midshipman, to within five months, +and I thought that I had a better chance of being made in England than +abroad. I was also very anxious to go home, for family reasons, which I +have already explained. In a fortnight we sailed with several vessels, +and directions to take charge of a large convoy from Quebec, which was +to meet us off the island of St John's. In a few days we joined our +convoy, and with a fair wind bore up for England. The weather soon +became very bad, and we were scudding before a heavy gale, under bare +poles. Our captain seldom quitted the cabin, but remained there on a +sofa, stretched at his length, reading a novel, or dozing, as he found +most agreeable. + +I recollect a circumstance which occurred, which will prove the apathy +of his disposition, and how unfit he was to command so fine a frigate. +We had been scudding three days, when the weather became much worse. + +O'Brien, who had the middle watch, went down to report that "it blew +very hard." + +"Very well," said the captain; "let me know if it blows harder." + +In about an hour more the gale increased, and O'Brien went down again. +"It blows much harder, Captain Horton." + +"Very well," answered Captain Horton, turning in his cot; "you may call +me again when it _blows harder_." + +At about six bells the gale was at its height, and the wind roared in +its fury. Down went O'Brien again. "It blows tremendous hard now, +Captain Horton." + +"Well, well, if the weather becomes worse--" + +"It can't be worse," interrupted O'Brien; "it's impossible to blow +harder." + +"Indeed! Well, then," replied the captain, "let me know when _it +lulls_." + +In the morning watch a similar circumstance took place. Mr Phillott went +down, and said that several of the convoy were out of sight astern. +"Shall we heave-to, Captain Horton?" + +"Oh, no," replied he, "she will be so uneasy. Let me know if you lose +sight of any more." + +In another hour the first lieutenant reported that "there were very few +to be seen." + +"Very well, Mr Phillott," replied the captain, turning round to sleep; +"let me know if you lose any more." + +Some time elapsed, and the first lieutenant reported "that they were all +out of sight." + +"Very well, then," said the captain; "call me when you see them again." + +This was not very likely to take place, as we were going twelve knots an +hour, and running away from them as fast as we could; so the captain +remained undisturbed until he thought proper to get up to breakfast. +Indeed, we never saw any more of our convoy, but taking the gale with +us, in fifteen days anchored in Plymouth Sound. The orders came down for +the frigate to be paid off, all standing, and recommissioned. I received +letters from my father, in which he congratulated me at my name being +mentioned in Captain Kearney's despatches, and requested me to come home +as soon as I could. The admiral allowed my name to be put down on the +books of the guard-ship, that I might not lose my time, and then gave me +two months' leave of absence. I bade farewell to my shipmates, shook +hands with O'Brien, who proposed to go over to Ireland previous to his +applying for another ship, and, with my pay in my pocket, set off in the +Plymouth mail, and in three days was once more in the arms of my +affectionate mother, and warmly greeted by my father and the remainder +of my family. + +Once more with my family, I must acquaint the reader with what had +occurred since my departure. My eldest sister, Lucy, had married an +officer in the army, a Captain Fielding, and his regiment having been +ordered out to India, had accompanied her husband, and letters had been +received, just before my return announcing their safe arrival at Ceylon. +My second sister, Mary, had also been engaged to be married, and from +her infancy was of extremely delicate health. She was very handsome, and +much admired. Her intended husband was a baronet of good family; but +unfortunately, she caught a cold at the assize ball and went off in a +decline. She died about two months before my arrival, and the family +were in deep mourning. My third sister, Ellen, was still unmarried; she +also was a very beautiful girl, and now seventeen. My mother's +constitution was much shaken by the loss of my sister Mary, and the +separation from her eldest child. As for my father, even the loss of his +daughter appeared to be wholly forgotten in the unwelcome intelligence +which he had received, that my uncle's wife had been safely delivered of +a _son_, which threw him out of the anticipated titles and estates of my +grandfather. It was indeed a house of mourning. My mother's grief I +respected, and tried all I could to console her; that of my father was +so evidently worldly, and so at variance with his clerical profession, +that I must acknowledge I felt more of anger at it than sorrow. He had +become morose and sullen, harsh to those around him, and not so kind to +my mother as her state of mind and health made it his duty to be, even +if inclination were wanted. He seldom passed any portion of the day with +her, and in the evening she went to bed very early, so that there was +little communication between them. My sister was a great consolation to +her, and so I hope was I; she often said so as she embraced me, and the +tears rolled down her cheeks, and I could not help surmising that those +tears were doubled from the coolness and indifference, if not +unkindness, with which my father behaved to her. As for my sister, she +was an angel; and as I witnessed her considerate attentions to my +mother, and the total forgetfulness of self which she displayed (so +different from my father, who was all self), I often thought what a +treasure she would prove to any man who was fortunate enough to win her +love. Such was the state of my family when I returned to it. + +I had been at home about a week, when one evening, after dinner, I +submitted to my father the propriety of trying to obtain my promotion. + +"I can do nothing for you, Peter; I have no interest whatever," replied +he, moodily. + +"I do not think that much is required, sir," replied I; "my time will be +served on the 20th of next month. If I pass, which I trust I shall be +able to do, my name having been mentioned in the public despatches will +render it a point of no very great difficulty to obtain my commission at +the request of my grandfather." + +"Yes, your grandfather might succeed, I have no doubt; but I think you +have little chance now in that quarter. My brother has a son, and we are +thrown out. You are not aware, Peter, how selfish people are, and how +little they will exert themselves for their relations. Your grandfather +has never invited me since the announcement of my brother's increase to +his family. Indeed, I have never been near him, for I know that it is of +no use." + +"I must think otherwise of Lord Privilege, my dear father, until your +opinion is confirmed by his own conduct. That I am not so much an object +of interest, I grant; but still he was very kind, and appeared to be +partial to me." + +"Well, well, you can try all you can, but you'll soon see of what stuff +this world is made; I am sure I hope it will be so, for what is to +become of you children if I die, I do not know;--I have saved little or +nothing. And now all my prospects are blasted by this--" and my father +dashed his fist upon the table in a manner by no means clerical, and +with a look very unworthy of an apostle. + +I am sorry that I must thus speak of my father, but I must not disguise +the truth. Still, I must say, there was much in extenuation of his +conduct. He had always a dislike to the profession of the church: his +ambition, as a young man, had been to enter the army, for which service +he was much better qualified; but, as it has been the custom for +centuries to entail all the property of the aristocracy upon the eldest +son, and leave the other brothers to be supported by the state, or +rather by the people, who are taxed for their provision, my father was +not permitted to follow the bent of his own inclination. An elder +brother had already selected the army as his profession, and it was +therefore decided that my father should enter the church; and thus it is +that we have had, and still have, so many people in that profession, who +are not only totally unfit for, but who actually disgrace, their +calling. The law of primogeniture is beset with evils and injustice; yet +without it, the aristocracy of a country must sink into insignificance. +It appears to me, that as long as the people of a country are content to +support the younger sons of the nobility, it is well that the +aristocracy should be held up as a third estate, and a link between the +sovereign and the people; but that if the people are either too poor, or +are unwilling to be so taxed, they have a right to refuse taxation for +such purposes, and to demand that the law of primogeniture should be +abolished. + +I remained at home until my time was complete, and then set off for +Plymouth to undergo my examination. The passing-day had been fixed by +the admiral for the Friday, and, as I arrived on Wednesday, I amused +myself during the day, walking about the dockyard, and trying all I +could to obtain further information in my profession. On the Thursday, a +party of soldiers from the depot were embarking at the landing-place in +men-of-war boats, and, as I understood, were about to proceed to India. +I witnessed the embarkation, and waited till they shoved off, and then +walked to the anchor wharf to ascertain the weights of the respective +anchors of the different classes of vessels in the King's service. + +I had not been there long, when I was attracted by the squabbling +created by a soldier, who, it appeared, had quitted the ranks to run up +to the tap in the dockyard to obtain liquor. He was very drunk, and was +followed by a young woman with a child in her arms, who was endeavouring +to pacify him. + +"Now be quiet, Patrick, jewel," said she, clinging to him; "sure it's +enough that you've left the ranks, and will come to disgrace when you +get on board. Now be quiet, Patrick, and let us ask for a boat, and then +perhaps the officer will think it was all a mistake, and let you off +aisy; and sure I'll speak to Mr O'Rourke, and he's a kind man." + +"Out wid you, you cratur, it is Mr O'Rourke you'd be having a +conversation wid, and he be chucking you under that chin of yours. Out +wid you, Mary, and lave me to find my way on board. Is it a boat I want, +when I can swim like St Patrick, wid my head under my arm, if it wasn't +on my shoulders? At all events, I can wid my nappersack and musket to +boot." + +The young woman cried, and tried to restrain him, but he broke from her, +and running down to the wharf, dashed off into the water. The young +woman ran to the edge of the wharf, perceived him sinking, and shrieking +with despair, threw up her arms in her agony. The child fell, struck on +the edge of the piles, turned over, and before I could catch hold of it, +sank into the sea. "The child! the child!" burst forth in another wild +scream, and the poor creature lay at my feet in violent fits. I looked +over, the child had disappeared; but the soldier was still struggling +with his head above water. He sank and rose again--a boat was pulling +towards him, but he was quite exhausted. He threw back his arms as if in +despair, and was about disappearing under a wave, when, no longer able +to restrain myself, I leaped off the high wharf, and swam to his +assistance, just in time to lay hold of him as he was sinking for the +last time. I had not been in the water a quarter of a minute before the +boat came up to us, and dragged us on board. The soldier was exhausted +and speechless. I, of course, was only very wet. The boat rowed to the +landing-place at my request, and we were both put on shore. The knapsack +which was fixed on the soldier's back, and his regimentals, indicated +that he belonged to the regiment just embarked; and I stated my opinion +that, as soon as he was a little recovered, he had better be taken on +board. As the boat which picked us up was one of the men-of-war boats, +the officer who had been embarking the troops, and had been sent on +shore again to know if there were any yet left behind, consented. In a +few minutes the soldier recovered, and was able to sit up and speak, and +I only waited to ascertain the state of the poor young woman whom I had +left on the wharf. In a few minutes she was led to us by the warder, and +the scene between her and her husband was most affecting. When she had +become a little composed, she turned round to me, where I stood dripping +wet, and, intermingled with lamentation for the child, showering down +emphatic blessings on my head, inquired my name. "Give it to me!" she +cried; "give it to me on paper, in writing, that I may wear it next my +heart, read and kiss it every day of my life, and never forget to pray +for you, and to bless you!" + +"I'll tell it you. My name--" + +"Nay, write it down for me--write it down. Sure you'll not refuse me. +All the saints bless you, dear young man, for saving a poor woman from +despair!" + +The officer commanding the boat handed me a pencil and a card; I wrote +my name and gave it to the poor woman; she took my hand as I gave it, +kissed the card repeatedly, and put it into her bosom. The officer, +impatient to shove off, ordered her husband into the boat--she followed, +clinging to him, wet as he was--the boat shoved off, and I hastened up +to the inn to dry my clothes. I could not help observing, at the time, +how the fear of a greater evil will absorb all consideration for a +minor. Satisfied that her husband had not perished, she had hardly once +appeared to remember that she had lost her child. + +I had only brought one suit of clothes with me: they were in very good +condition when I arrived, but salt water plays the devil with a uniform. +I laid in bed until they were dry; but when I put them on again, not +being before too large for me, for I grew very fast, they were now +shrunk and shrivelled up, so as to be much too small. My wrists appeared +below the sleeves of my coat--my trousers had shrunk half way up to my +knees--the buttons were all tarnished, and altogether I certainly did +not wear the appearance of a gentlemanly, smart midshipman. I would have +ordered another suit, but the examination was to take place at ten +o'clock the next morning, and there was no time. I was therefore obliged +to appear as I was, on the quarter-deck of the line-of-battle ship, on +board of which the passing was to take place. Many others were there to +undergo the same ordeal, all strangers to me, and as I perceived by +their nods and winks to each other, as they walked up and down in their +smart clothes, not at all inclined to make my acquaintance. + +There were many before me on the list, and our hearts beat every time +that a name was called, and the owner of it walked aft into the cabin. +Some returned with jocund faces, and our hopes mounted with the +anticipation of similar good fortune; others came out melancholy and +crest-fallen, and then the expression of their countenances was +communicated to our own, and we quailed with fear and apprehension. I +have no hesitation in asserting, that although "passing" may be a proof +of being qualified, "not passing" is certainly no proof to the contrary. +I have known many of the cleverest young men turned back (while others +of inferior abilities have succeeded), merely from the feeling of awe +occasioned by the peculiarity of the situation: and it is not to be +wondered at, when it is considered that all the labour and exertion of +six years are at stake at this appalling moment. At last my name was +called, and almost breathless from anxiety, I entered the cabin, where I +found myself in presence of the three captains who were to decide +whether I were fit to hold a commission in His Majesty's service. My +logs and certificates were examined and approved; my time calculated and +allowed to be correct. The questions in navigation which were put to me +were very few, for the best of all possible reasons, that most captains +in His Majesty's service know little or nothing of navigation. During +their servitude as midshipmen, they learn it by _rote_, without being +aware of the principles upon which the calculations they use are +founded. As lieutenants, their services as to navigation are seldom +required, and they rapidly forget all about it. As captains, their whole +remnant of mathematical knowledge consists in being able to set down the +ship's position on the chart. As for navigating the ship, the master is +answerable; and the captains not being responsible themselves, they +trust entirely to his reckoning. Of course there are exceptions, but +what I state is the fact; and if an order from the Admiralty was given, +that all captains should pass again, although they might acquit +themselves very well in seamanship, nineteen out of twenty would be +turned back when they were questioned in navigation. It is from the +knowledge of this fact that I think the service is injured by the +present system, and the captain should be held _wholly_ responsible for +the navigation of his ship. It has been long known that the officers of +every other maritime state are more scientific than our own, which is +easily explained, from the responsibility not being invested in our +captains. The origin of masters in our service is singular. When England +first became a maritime power, ships for the King's service were found +by the Cinque Ports and other parties--the fighting part of the crew was +composed of soldiers sent on board. All the vessels at that time had a +crew of sailors, with a master to navigate the vessel. During our bloody +naval engagements with the Dutch, the same system was acted upon. I +think it was the Earl of Sandwich, of whom it is stated, that his ship +being in a sinking state, he took a boat to hoist his flag on board of +another vessel in the fleet, but a shot cutting the boat in two, and the +_weight of his armour_ bearing him down, the Earl of Sandwich perished. +But to proceed. + +As soon as I had answered several questions satisfactorily, I was +desired to stand up. The captain who had interrogated me on navigation, +was very grave in his demeanour towards me, but at the same time not +uncivil. During his examination, he was not interfered with by the other +two, who only undertook the examination in "seamanship." The captain, +who now desired me to stand up, spoke in a very harsh tone, and quite +frightened me. I stood up pale and trembling, for I augured no good from +this commencement. Several questions in seamanship were put to me, which +I have no doubt I answered in a very lame way, for I cannot even now +recollect what I said. + +"I thought so," observed the captain; "I judged as much from your +appearance. An officer who is so careless of his dress, as not even to +put on a decent coat when he appears at his examination, generally turns +out an idle fellow, and no seaman. One would think you had served all +your time in a cutter, or a ten-gun brig, instead of dashing frigates. +Come, sir, I'll give you one more chance." + +I was so hurt at what the captain said, that I could not control my +feelings. I replied, with a quivering lip, "that I had had no time to +order another uniform,"--and I burst into tears. + +"Indeed, Burrows, you are rather too harsh," said the third captain; +"the lad is frightened. Let him sit down and compose himself for a +little while. Sit down, Mr Simple, and we will try you again directly." + +I sat down, checking my grief and trying to recall my scattered senses. +The captains, in the meantime, turning over the logs to pass away the +time; the one who had questioned me in navigation reading the Plymouth +newspaper, which had a few minutes before been brought on board and sent +into the cabin. "Heh! what's this? I say Burrows--Keats, look here," and +he pointed to a paragraph. "Mr Simple, may I ask whether it was you who +saved the soldier who leaped off the wharf yesterday?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I; "and that's the reason why my uniforms are so +shabby. I spoilt them then, and had no time to order others. I did not +like to say why they were spoilt." I saw a change in the countenances of +all the three, and it gave me courage. Indeed, now that my feelings had +found vent, I was no longer under any apprehension. + +"Come, Mr Simple, stand up again," said the captain, kindly, "that is, +if you feel sufficiently composed; if not, we will wait a little longer. +Don't be afraid, we _wish_ to pass you." + +I was not afraid, and stood up immediately. I answered every question +satisfactorily; and finding that I did so, they put more difficult ones. +"Very good, very good indeed, Mr Simple; now let me ask you one more; +it's seldom done in the service, and perhaps you may not be able to +answer it. Do you know how to _club-haul_ a ship?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I, having, as the reader may recollect, witnessed +the manoeuvre when serving under poor Captain Savage, and I immediately +stated how it was to be done. + +"That is sufficient, Mr Simple. I wish to ask you no more questions. I +thought at first you were a careless officer and no seaman: I now find +that you are a good seaman and a gallant young man. Do you wish to ask +any more questions?" continued he, turning to the two others. + +They replied in the negative; my passing certificate was signed, and the +captains did me the honour to shake hands with me, and wish me speedy +promotion. Thus ended happily this severe trial to my poor nerves; and, +as I came out of the cabin, no one could have imagined that I had been +in such distress within, when they beheld the joy that irradiated my +countenance. + + + + +Chapter XXXIX + +Is a chapter of plots--Catholic casuistry in a new cassock--Plotting +promotes promotion--A peasant's love and a peer's peevishness--Prospects +of prosperity. + + +As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I sent for a Plymouth paper, and cut +out the paragraph which had been of such importance to me in my +emergency, and the next morning returned home to receive the +congratulations of my family. I found a letter from O'Brien, which had +arrived the day before. It was as follows:-- + + "MY DEAR PETER,--Some people, they say, are lucky to 'have a father + born before them,' because they are helped on in the world--upon + which principle, mine was born _after_ me, that's certain; however, + that can't be helped. I found all my family well and hearty; but they + all shook a cloth in the wind with respect to toggery. As for Father + M'Grath's cassock, he didn't complain of it without reason. It was the + ghost of a garment; but, however, with the blessing of God, my last + quarterly bill, and the help of a tailor, we have had a regular refit, + and the ancient family of the O'Briens of Ballyhinch are now rigged + from stem to starn. My two sisters are both to be spliced to young + squireens in the neighbourhood; it appears that they only wanted for a + dacent town gown to go to the church in. They will be turned off next + Friday, and I only wish, Peter, you were here to dance at the + weddings. Never mind, I'll dance for you and for myself too. In the + meantime, I'll just tell you what Father M'Grath and I have been + doing, all about and consarning that thief of an uncle of yours. + + "It's very little or nothing at all that Father M'Grath did before I + came back, seeing as how Father O'Toole had a new cassock, and Father + M'Grath's was so shabby that he couldn't face him under such a + disadvantage; but still Father M'Grath spied about him, and had + several hints from here and from there, all of which, when I came to + add them up, amounted to just nothing at all. + + "But since I came home, we have been busy. Father M'Grath went down to + Ballycleuch, as bold as a lion in his new clothing, swearing that he'd + lead Father O'Toole by the nose for slamming the door in his face, and + so he would have done, if he could have found him; but as he wasn't to + be found, Father M'Grath came back again just as wise, and quite as + brave, as he went out. + + "So, Peter, I just took a walk that way myself, and, as I surrounded + the old house where your uncle had taken up his quarters, who should I + meet but the little girl, Ella Flanagan, who was in his service; and I + said to myself, 'There's two ways of obtaining things in this world, + one is for love, and the other is for money.' The O'Briens are better + off in the first article than in the last, as most of their countrymen + are, so I've been spending it very freely in your service, Peter. + + "'Sure,' says I, 'you are the little girl that my eyes were ever + looking upon when last I was in this way.' + + "'And who are you?' says she. + + "'Lieutenant O'Brien, of his Majesty's service, just come home for a + minute to look out for a wife,' says I; 'and it's one about your make, + and shape, and discretion that would please my fancy.' + + "And then I praised her eyes, and her nose, and her forehead, and so + downwards, until I came to the soles of her feet; and asked her leave + to see her again, and when she would meet me in the wood and tell me + her mind. At first, she thought (sure enough) that I couldn't be in + earnest, but I swore by all the saints that she was the prettiest girl + in the parts--and so she is altogether--and then she listened to my + blarney. The devil a word did I say about your uncle, or your aunt, or + Father M'Grath, that she might not suspect for I've an idea that + they're all in the story. I only talked about my love for her pretty + self, and that blinded her, as it will all women, 'cute as they may + be. + + "And now, Peter, it's three weeks last Sunday, that I've been + bespeaking this poor girl for your sake, and my conscience tells me + that it's not right to make the poor crature fond of me, seeing as how + that I don't care a fig for her in the way of a wife, and in any other + way it would be the ruin of the poor thing. I have spoken to Father + M'Grath on the subject, who says, 'that we may do evil that good may + come, and that, if she has been a party to the deceit, it's nothing + but proper that she should be punished in this world, and that will, + perhaps, save her in the next;' still I don't like it, Peter, and it's + only for you among the living that I'd do such a thing; for the poor + creature now hangs upon me so fondly, and talks about the wedding-day; + and tells me long stories about the connections which have taken place + between the O'Flanagans and the O'Briens, times bygone, when they were + all in their glory. Yesterday, as we sat in the wood, with her arm + round my waist, 'Ella, dear,' says I, 'who are these people that you + stay with?' And then she told me all she knew about their history, and + how Mary Sullivan was a nurse to the baby. + + "'And what is the baby?' says I. + + "'A boy, sure,' says she. + + "'And Sullivan's baby?' + + "'That's a girl.' + + "'And is Mary Sullivan there now?' + + "'No' says she; 'it's yestreen she left with her husband and baby, to + join the regiment that's going out to Ingy.' + + "'Yesterday she left?' says I, starting up. + + "'Yes,' replies she, 'and what do you care about them?' + + "'It's very much I care,' replied I, 'for a little bird has whispered + a secret to me.' + + "'And what may that be?' says she. + + "'Only that the childer were changed, and you know it as well as I + do.' But she swore that she knew nothing about it, and that she was + not there when either of the children was born, and I believe that she + told the truth. 'Well,' says I, 'who tended the lady?' + + "'My own mother,' says Ella. 'And if it was so, who can know but she?' + + "Then,' says I, 'Ella, jewel, I've made a vow that I'll never marry + till I find out the truth of this matter; so the sooner you get it out + of your mother the better.' Then she cried very much, and I was almost + ready to cry too, to see how the poor thing was vexed at the idea of + not being married. After a while, she swabbed up her cheeks, and + kissing me, wished me good-by, swearing by all the saints that the + truth should come out, somehow or another. + + "It's this morning that I saw her again, as agreed upon yesterday, and + red her eyes were with weeping, poor thing; and she clung to me, and + begged me to forgive her, and not to leave her; and then she told me + that her mother was startled when she put the question to her, and + chewed it, and cursed her when she insisted upon the truth; and how + she had fallen on her knees, and begged her mother not to stand in the + way of her happiness, as she would die if she did (I leave you to + guess if my heart didn't smite me when she said that, Peter, but the + mischief was done), and how her mother had talked about her oath and + Father O'Toole, and said that she would speak to him. + + "Now, Peter, I'm sure that the childer have been changed, and that the + nurse has been sent to the Indies to be out of the way. They say they + were to go to Plymouth. The husband's name is, of course, O'Sullivan; + so I'd recommend you to take a coach and see what you can do in that + quarter; in the meantime I'll try all I can for the truth in this, and + will write again as soon as I can find out anything more. All I want + to do is to get Father M'Grath to go to the old devil of a mother, and + I'll answer for it, he'll frighten her into swearing anything. God + bless you, Peter, and give my love to all the family. + + "Yours ever, + + "TERENCE O'BRIEN." + +This letter of O'Brien was the subject of much meditation. The advice to +go to Plymouth was too late, the troops having sailed some time; and I +had no doubt but that Mary Sullivan and her husband were among those who +had embarked at the time that I was at that port to pass my examination. +Show the letter to my father I would not, as it would only have put him +in a fever, and his interference would, in all probability, have done +more harm than good. I therefore waited quietly for more intelligence, +and resolved to apply to my grandfather to obtain my promotion. + +A few days afterwards I set off for Eagle Park, and arrived about eleven +o'clock in the morning. I sent in my name, and was admitted into the +library, where I found Lord Privilege in his easy chair as usual. + +"Well, child," said he, remaining on his chair, and not offering even +_one_ finger to me, "what do you want, that you come here without an +invitation?" + +"Only, my lord, to inquire after your health, and to thank you for your +kindness to me in procuring me and Mr O'Brien the appointment to a fine +frigate." + +"Yes," replied his lordship, "I recollect--I think I did so, at your +request, and I think I heard some one say that you have behaved well, +and had been mentioned in the despatches." + +"Yes, my lord," replied I, "and I have since passed my examination for +lieutenant." + +"Well, child, I'm glad to hear it. Remember me to your father and +family." And his lordship cast his eyes down upon the book which he had +been reading. + +My father's observations appeared to be well grounded, but I would not +leave the room until I had made some further attempt. + +"Has your lordship heard from my uncle?" + +"Yes," replied he, "I had a letter from him yesterday. The child is +quite well. I expect them all here in a fortnight or three weeks, to +live with me altogether. I am old--getting very old, and I shall have +much to arrange with your uncle before I die." + +"If I might request a favour of your lordship, it would be to beg that +you would interest yourself a little in obtaining my promotion. A letter +from your lordship to the First Lord--only a few lines--" + +"Well, child, I see no objection--only--I am very old, too old to write +now." And his lordship again commenced reading. + +I must do Lord Privilege the justice to state that he evidently was fast +verging to a state of second childhood. He was much bowed down since I +had last seen him, and appeared infirm in body as well as mind. + +I waited at least a quarter of an hour before his lordship looked up. + +"What, not gone yet, child? I thought you had gone home." + +"Your lordship was kind enough to say that you had no objection to write +a few lines to the First Lord in my behalf. I trust your lordship will +not refuse me." + +"Well," replied he, peevishly, "so I did--but I am too old, too old to +write--I cannot see--I can hardly hold a pen." + +"Will your lordship allow me the honour of writing the letter for your +lordship's signature?" + +"Well, child--yes--I've no objection. Write as follows--no--write +anything you please--and I'll sign it. I wish your uncle William were +come." + +This was more than I did. I had a great mind to show him O'Brien's +letter, but I thought it would be cruel to raise doubts, and harass the +mind of a person so close to the brink of the grave. The truth would +never be ascertained during his life, I thought, and why, therefore, +should I give him pain? At all events, although I had the letter in my +pocket, I resolved not to make use of it except as a _dernier_ resort. + +I went to another table, and sat down to write the letter. As his +lordship had said that I might write what I pleased, it occurred to me +that I might assist O'Brien, and I felt sure that his lordship would not +take the trouble to read the letter. I therefore wrote as follows, while +Lord Privilege continued to read his book:-- + + "MY LORD,--You will confer a very great favour upon me, if you will + hasten the commission which, I have no doubt, is in preparation for my + nephew, Mr Simple, who has passed his examination, and has been + mentioned in the public despatches, and also that you will not lose + sight of Lieutenant O'Brien, who has so distinguished himself by his + gallantry in the various cutting-out expeditions in the West Indies. + Trusting that your lordship will not fail to comply with my earnest + request, I have the honour to be, your lordship's very obedient humble + servant." + +I brought this letter, with a pen full of ink, and the noise of my +approach induced his lordship to look up. He stared at first, as having +forgotten the whole circumstance--then said--"Oh yes! I recollect, so I +did--give me the pen." With a trembling hand he signed his name, and +gave me back the letter without reading it, as I expected. + +"There, child, don't tease me any more. Good-bye; remember me to your +father." + +I wished his lordship a good morning, and went away well satisfied with +the result of my expedition. On my arrival I showed the letter to my +father, who was much surprised at my success, and he assured me that my +grandfather's interest was so great with the administration, that I +might consider my promotion as certain. That no accident might happen, I +immediately set off for London, and delivered the letter at the door of +the First Lord with my own hands, leaving my address with the porter. + + + + +Chapter XL + +O'Brien and myself take a step each, _pari passu_--A family reunion +productive of anything but unity--My uncle not always the best friend. + + +A few days afterwards I left my card with my address with the First +Lord, and the next day received a letter from his secretary, which, to +my delight, informed me that my commission had been made out some days +before. I hardly need say that I hastened to take it up, and when paying +my fee to the clerk, I ventured, at a hazard, to inquire whether he knew +the address of Lieutenant O'Brien. + +"No," replied he, "I wish to find it out, for he has this day been +promoted to the rank of Commander." + +I almost leaped with joy when I heard this good news. I gave O'Brien's +address to the clerk, hastened away with my invaluable piece of +parchment in my hand, and set off immediately for my father's house. + +But I was met with sorrow. My mother had been taken severely ill, and I +found the house in commotion--doctors, and apothecaries, and nurses, +running to and fro, my father in a state of excitement, and my dear +sister in tears. Spasm succeeded spasm; and although every remedy was +applied, the next evening she breathed her last. I will not attempt to +describe the grief of my father, who appeared to feel remorse at his +late unkind treatment of her, my sister, and myself. These scenes must +be imagined by those who have suffered under similar bereavements. I +exerted myself to console my poor sister, who appeared to cling to me as +to her only support, and, after the funeral was over, we recovered our +tranquillity, although the mourning was still deeper in our hearts than +in our outward dress. I had written to O'Brien to announce the mournful +intelligence, and, like a true friend, he immediately made his +appearance to console me. + +O'Brien had received the letter from the Admiralty, acquainting him with +his promotion; and, two days after he arrived, went to take up his +commission. I told him frankly by what means he had obtained it, and he +again concluded his thanks by a reference to the mistake of the former +supposition, that of my being "the fool of the family." + +"By the powers, it would be well for any man if he had a few of such +foolish friends about him," continued he; "but I won't blarney you, +Peter; you know what my opinion always has been, so we'll say no more +about it." + +When he came back, we had a long consultation as to the best method of +proceeding to obtain employment, for O'Brien was anxious to be again +afloat, and so was I. I regretted parting with my sister, but my father +was so morose and ill-tempered, that I had no pleasure at home, except +in her company. Indeed, my sister was of opinion, that it would be +better if I were away, as my father's misanthropy, now unchecked by my +mother, appeared to have increased, and he seemed to view me with +positive dislike. It was, therefore, agreed unanimously between my +sister, and me, and O'Brien, who was always of our councils, that it +would be advisable that I should be again afloat. + +"I can manage him much better when alone, Peter; I shall have nothing to +occupy me, and take me away from him, as your presence does now; and, +painful as it is to part with you, my duty to my father, and my wish for +your advancement, induce me to request that you will, if possible, find +some means of obtaining employment." + +"Spoken like a hero, as ye are, Miss Ellen, notwithstanding your pretty +face and soft eyes," said O'Brien. "And now, Peter, for the means to +bring it about. If I can get a ship, there is no fear for you, as I +shall choose you for my lieutenant; but how is that to be managed? Do +you think that you can come over the old gentleman at Eagle Park?" + +"At all events, I'll try," replied I; "I can but be floored, O'Brien." + +Accordingly, the next day I set off for my grandfather's, and was put +down at the lodge, at the usual hour, about eleven o'clock. I walked up +the avenue, and knocked at the door: when it was opened, I perceived a +hesitation among the servants, and a constrained air, which I did not +like. I inquired after Lord Privilege--the answer was, that he was +pretty well, but did not see _any_ body. + +"Is my uncle here?" said I. + +"Yes, sir," replied the servant, with a significant look, "and all his +family are here too." + +"Are you sure that I cannot see my _grandfather_" said I, laying a +stress upon the word. + +"I will tell him that you are here, sir," replied the man, "but even +that is against orders." + +I had never seen my uncle since I was a child, and could not even +recollect him--my cousins, or my aunt, I had never met with. In a minute +an answer was brought, requesting that I would walk into the library. +When I was ushered in, I found myself in the presence of Lord Privilege, +who sat in his usual place, and a tall gentleman, whom I knew at once to +be my uncle, from his likeness to my father. + +"Here is the young gentleman, my lord," said my uncle, looking at me +sternly. + +"Heh! what--oh? I recollect. Well, child, so you've been behaving very +ill--sorry to hear it. Good-bye." + +"Behaving ill, my lord!" replied I. "I am not aware of having so done." + +"Reports are certainly very much against you, nephew," observed my +uncle, drily. "Some one has told your grandfather what has much +displeased him. I know nothing about it myself." + +"Then some rascal has slandered me, sir," replied I. + +My uncle started at the word rascal; and then recovering himself, +replied, "Well, nephew, what is it that you require of Lord Privilege, +for I presume this visit is not without a cause?" + +"Sir," replied I, "my visit to Lord Privilege was, first to thank him +for having procured me my commission as lieutenant, and to request the +favour that he would obtain me active employment, which a line from him +will effect immediately." + +"I was not aware, nephew, that you had been made lieutenant; but I agree +with you, that the more you are at sea the better. His lordship shall +sign the letter. Sit down." + +"Shall I write it, sir?" said I to my uncle: "I know what to say." + +"Yes; and bring it to me when it is written." + +I felt convinced that the only reason which induced my uncle to obtain +me employment was the idea that I should be better out of the way, and +that there was more risk at sea than on shore. I took a sheet of paper, +and wrote as follows:-- + + "My LORD,--May I request that your lordship will be pleased to + appoint the bearer of this to a ship, as soon as convenient, as I wish + him to be actively employed. + + "I am, my lord, &c, &c." + +"Why not mention your name?" + +"It is of no consequence," replied I, "as it will be delivered in +person, and that will insure my speedy appointment." + +The letter was placed before his lordship for signature. It was with +some difficulty that he was made to understand that he was to sign it. +The old gentleman appeared much more imbecile than when I last saw him. +I thanked him, folded up the letter, and put it in my pocket. At last he +looked at me, and a sudden flash of recollection appeared to come across +his mind. + +"Well child so you escaped from the French prison--heh! and how's your +friend--what is his name, heh?" + +"O'Brien, my lord." + +"O'Brien!" cried my uncle, "he is _your_ friend; then, sir, I presume it +is to you that I am indebted for all the inquiries and reports which are +so industriously circulated in Ireland--the tampering with my servants-- +and other impertinences?" + +I did not choose to deny the truth, although I was a little fluttered by +the sudden manner in which it came to light. I replied, "I never tamper +with any people's servants, sir." + +"No," said he, "but you employ others so to do. I discovered the whole +of your proceedings after the scoundrel left for England." + +"If you apply the word scoundrel _to_ Captain O'Brien, sir, in his name +I contradict it." + +"As you please, sir," replied my uncle, in a passion; "but you will +oblige me by quitting this house immediately, and expect nothing more, +either from the present or the future Lord Privilege, except that +retaliation which your infamous conduct has deserved." + +I felt much irritated, and replied very sharply, "From the present Lord +Privilege I certainly expect nothing more, neither do I from his +successor; but after your death, uncle, I expect that the person who +succeeds to the title will do all he can for your humble servant. I wish +you a good morning, uncle." + +My uncle's eyes flashed fire as I finished my speech, which indeed was a +very bold, and a very foolish one too, as it afterwards proved. I +hastened out of the room, not only from the fear of being turned out of +the house before all the servants, but also from the dread that my +letter to the First Lord might be taken from me by force; but I shall +never forget the scowl of vengeance which crossed my uncle's brows, as I +turned round and looked at him as I shut the door. I found my way out +without the assistance of the servants, and hastened home as fast as I +could. + +"O'Brien," said I, on my return, "there is no time to be lost; the +sooner you hasten to town with this letter of introduction, the better +it will be, for depend upon it my uncle will do me all the harm that he +can." I then repeated to him all that had passed, and it was agreed that +O'Brien should take the letter, which, having reference to the bearer, +would do as well for him as for me; and, if O'Brien obtained an +appointment, I was sure not only of being one of his lieutenants, but +also of sailing with a dear friend. The next morning O'Brien set off for +London, and fortunately saw the First Lord the day after his arrival, +which was a levee day. The First Lord received the letter from O'Brien, +and requested him to sit down. He then read it, inquired after his +lordship, asked whether his health was good, &c. + +O'Brien replied, "that with the blessing of God, his lordship might live +many years: that he had never heard him complain of ill health." All +which was not false, if not true. I could not help observing to O'Brien, +when he returned home and told me what had passed, "that I thought, +considering what he had expressed with respect to white lies and black +lies, that he had not latterly adhered to his own creed." + +"That's very true, Peter; and I've thought of it myself, but it is my +creed nevertheless. We all know what's right, but we don't always follow +it. The fact is, I begin to think that it is absolutely necessary to +fight the world with its own weapons. I spoke to Father M'Grath on the +subject, and he replied--'That if anyone, by doing wrong, necessitated +another to do wrong to circumvent him, that the first party was +answerable, not only for his own sin, but also for the sin committed in +self-defence." + +"But, O'Brien, I do not fix my faith so implicitly upon Father M'Grath; +and I do not much admire many of his directions." + +"No more do I, Peter, when I think upon them; but how am I to puzzle my +head upon these points? All I know is, that when you are divided between +your inclination and your duty, it's mighty convenient to have a priest +like Father M'Grath to decide for you, and to look after your soul into +the bargain." + +It occurred to me that I myself, when finding fault with O'Brien, had, +in the instance of both the letters from Lord Privilege, been also +guilty of deceit. I was therefore blaming him for the same fault +committed by myself; and I am afraid that I was too ready in consoling +myself with Father M'Grath's maxim, "that one might do evil that good +might come." But to return to O'Brien's interview. + +After some little conversation, the First Lord said, "Captain O'Brien, I +am always very ready to oblige Lord Privilege, and the more so as his +recommendation is of an officer of your merit. In a day or two, if you +call at the Admiralty, you will hear further." O'Brien wrote to us +immediately, and we waited with impatience for his next letter: but, +instead of the letter, he made his appearance on the third day, and +first hugged me in his arms, he then came to my sister, embraced her, +and skipped and danced about the room. + +"What is the matter, O'Brien?" said I, while Ellen retreated in +confusion. + +O'Brien pulled a parchment out of his pocket. "Here, Peter, my dear +Peter; now for honour and glory. An eighteen-gun brig, Peter. The +_Rattlesnake_--Captain O'Brien--West India station. By the holy father! +my heart's bursting with joy!" and down he sank into an easy chair. +"A'n't I almost beside myself?" inquired he, after a short pause. + +"Ellen thinks so, I dare say," replied I, looking at my sister, who +stood in the corner of the room, thinking O'Brien was really out of his +senses, and still red with confusion. + +O'Brien, who then called to mind what a slip of decorum he had been +guilty of, immediately rose, and resuming his usual unsophisticated +politeness, as he walked up to my sister, took her hand, and said, +"Excuse me, my dear Miss Ellen; I must apologize for my rudeness; but my +delight was so great, and my gratitude to your brother so intense, that +I am afraid that in my warmth I allowed the expression of my feelings to +extend to one so dear to him, and so like him in person and in mind. +Will you only consider that you received the overflowings of a grateful +heart towards your brother, and for his sake pardon my indiscretion?" + +Ellen smiled, and held out her hand to O'Brien, who led her to the sofa, +where we all three sat down: and he then commenced a more intelligible +narrative of what had passed. He had called on the day appointed, and +sent up his card. The First Lord could not see him, but referred him to +the private secretary, who presented him with his commission to the +_Rattlesnake_, eighteen-gun brig. The secretary smiled most graciously, +and told O'Brien in confidence that he would proceed to the West India +station as soon as his vessel was manned and ready for sea. He inquired +of O'Brien whom he wished as his first lieutenant. O'Brien replied that +he wished for me; but as, in all probability, I should not be of +sufficient standing to be first lieutenant, that the Admiralty might +appoint any other to the duty, provided I joined the ship. The secretary +made a minute of O'Brien's wish, and requested him, if he had a vacancy +to spare as midshipman, to allow him to send one on board; to which +O'Brien willingly acceded, shook hands with him, and O'Brien quitted the +Admiralty to hasten down to us with the pleasing intelligence. + +"And now," said O'Brien, "I have made up my mind how to proceed. I shall +first run down to Plymouth and hoist my pennant; then I shall ask for a +fortnight's leave, and go to Ireland to see how they get on, and what +Father M'Grath may be about. So, Peter, let's pass this evening as +happily as we can; for though you and I shall soon meet again, yet it +may be years, or perhaps never, that we three shall sit down on the same +sofa as we do now." + +Ellen, who was still nervous, from the late death of my mother, looked +down, and I perceived the tears start in her eyes at the remark of +O'Brien, that perhaps we should never meet again. And I did pass a happy +evening. I had a dear sister on one side of me, and a sincere friend on +the other. How few situations more enviable! + +O'Brien left us early the next morning; and at breakfast-time a letter +was handed to my father. It was from my uncle, coldly communicating to +him that Lord Privilege had died the night before, very suddenly, and +informing him that the burial would take place on that day week, and +that the will would be opened immediately after the funeral. My father +handed the letter over to me without saying a word, and sipped his tea +with his tea-spoon. I cannot say that I felt very much on the occasion; +but I did feel, because he had been kind to me at one time: as for my +father's feelings, I could not--or rather I should say, I did not wish +to analyze them. As soon as he had finished his cup of tea, he left the +breakfast-table, and went into his study. I then communicated the +intelligence to my sister Ellen. + +"My God!" said she, after a pause, putting her hand up to her eyes; +"what a strange unnatural state of society must we have arrived at, when +my father can thus receive the intelligence of a parent's death! Is it +not dreadful?" + +"It is, my dearest girl," replied I; "but every feeling has been +sacrificed to worldly considerations and an empty name. The younger sons +have been neglected, if not deserted. Virtue, talent, everything set at +naught--intrinsic value despised--and the only claim to consideration +admitted, that of being the heir entail. When all the ties of nature are +cast loose by the parents, can you be surprised if the children are no +longer bound by them? Most truly do you observe, that it is a detestable +state of society." + +"I did not say detestable, brother; I said strange and unnatural." + +"Had you said what I said, Ellen, you would not have been wrong. I would +not for the title and wealth which it brings, be the heartless, +isolated, I may say neglected being that my grandfather was; were it +offered now, I would not barter for it Ellen's love." + +Ellen threw herself in my arms; we then walked into the garden, where we +had a long conversation relative to our future wishes, hopes, and +prospects. + + + + +Chapter XLI + +Pompous obsequies--The reading of the will, not exactly after Wilkie--I +am left a legacy--What becomes of it--My father, very warm, writes a +sermon to cool himself--I join O'Brien's brig, and fall in with +Swinburne. + + +On that day week I accompanied my father to Eagle Park, to assist at the +burial of Lord Privilege. We were ushered into the room where the body +had laid in state for three days. The black hangings, the lofty plumes, +the rich ornaments on the coffin, and the number of wax candles with +which the room was lighted, produced a solemn and grand effect. I could +not help, as I leaned against the balustrade before the coffin and +thought of its contents, calling to mind when my poor grandfather's +feelings seemed, as it were, inclined to thaw in my favour, when he +called me "his child," and, in all probability, had not my uncle had a +son, would have died in my arms, fond and attached to me for my own +sake, independently of worldly considerations. I felt that had I known +him longer, I could have loved him, and that he would have loved me; and +I thought to myself, how little all these empty honours, after his +decease, could compensate for the loss of those reciprocal feelings, +which would have so added to his happiness during his existence. But he +had lived for pomp and vanity; and pomp and vanity attended him to his +grave. I thought of my sister Ellen, and of O'Brien, and walked away +with the conviction that Peter Simple might have been an object of envy +to the late Right Honourable Lord Viscount Privilege, Baron Corston, +Lord Lieutenant of the county, and one of His Majesty's Most Honourable +Privy Councillors. + +When the funeral, which was very tedious and very splendid, was over, we +all returned in the carriages to Eagle Park, when my uncle, who had of +course assumed the title, and who had attended as chief mourner, was in +waiting to receive us. We were shown into the library, and in the chair +so lately and constantly occupied by my grandfather, sat the new lord. +Near to him were the lawyers, with parchments lying before them. As we +severally entered, he waved his hand to unoccupied chairs, intimating to +us to sit down; but no words were exchanged, except an occasional +whisper between him and the lawyers. When all the branches of the family +were present, down to the fourth and fifth cousins, the lawyer on the +right of my uncle put on his spectacles, and unrolling the parchment +commenced reading the will. I paid attention to it at first; but the +legal technicalities puzzled me, and I was soon thinking of other +matters, until after half an hour's reading, I was startled at the sound +of my own name. It was a bequest by codicil to me, of the sum of ten +thousand pounds. My father who sat by me, gave me a slight push, to +attract my attention; and I perceived that his face was not quite so +mournful as before. I was rejoicing at this unexpected intelligence. I +called to mind what my father had said to me when we were returning from +Eagle Park, "that my grandfather's attentions to me were as good as ten +thousand pounds in his will," and was reflecting how strange it was that +he had hit upon the exact sum. I also thought of what my father had said +of his own affairs, and his not having saved anything for his children, +and congratulated myself that I should now be able to support my dear +sister Ellen, in case of any accident happening to my father, when I was +roused by another mention of my name. It was a codicil dated about a +week back, in which my grandfather, not pleased at my conduct, revoked +the former codicil, and left me nothing. I knew where the blow came +from, and I looked my uncle in the face; a gleam of malignant pleasure +was in his eyes, which had been fixed on me, waiting to receive my +glance. I returned it with a smile expressive of scorn and contempt, and +then looked at my father, who appeared to be in a state of misery. His +head had fallen upon his breast, and his hands were clasped. Although I +was shocked at the blow, for I knew how much the money was required, I +felt too proud to show it; indeed, I felt that I would not for worlds +have exchanged situations with my uncle, much less feelings; for when +those who remain meet to ascertain the disposition made, by one who is +summoned away to the tribunal of his Maker, of those worldly and +perishable things which he must leave behind him, feelings of rancour +and ill-will might, for the time, be permitted to subside, and the +memory of a "departed brother" be productive of charity and good-will. +After a little reflection, I felt that I could forgive my uncle. + +Not so my father; the codicil which deprived me of my inheritance, was +the last of the will, and the lawyer rolled up the parchment and took +off his spectacles. Everybody rose; my father seized his hat, and +telling me in a harsh voice to follow him, tore off the crape weepers, +and then threw them on the floor as he walked away. I also took off +mine, and laid them on the table, and followed him. My father called his +carriage, waited in the hall till it was driven up, and jumped into it. +I followed him; he drew up the blind, and desired them to drive home. + +"Not a sixpence! By the God of heaven, not a sixpence! My name not even +mentioned, except for a paltry mourning ring! And yours--pray sir, what +have you been about, after having such a sum left you, to forfeit your +grandfather's good opinion? Heh! sir--tell me directly," continued he, +turning round to me in a rage. + +"Nothing, my dear father, that I'm aware of. My uncle is evidently my +enemy." + +"And why should he be particularly your enemy? Peter, there must be some +reason for his having induced your grandfather to alter his bequest in +your favour. I insist upon it, sir, that you tell me immediately." + +"My dear father, when you are more calm, I will talk this matter over +with you. I hope I shall not be considered wanting in respect, when I +say, that as a clergyman of the church of England--" + +"D--n the church of England, and those that put me into it!" replied my +father, maddened with rage. + +I was shocked, and held my tongue. My father appeared also to be +confused at his hasty expressions. He sank back in his carriage, and +preserved a gloomy silence until we arrived at our own door. As soon as +we entered, my father hastened to his own room, and I went up to my +sister Ellen, who was in her bed room. I revealed to her all that had +passed, and advised with her on the propriety of my communicating to my +father the reasons which had occasioned my uncle's extreme aversion +towards me. After much argument, she agreed with me, that the disclosure +had now become necessary. + +After the dinner-cloth had been removed, I then communicated to my +father the circumstances which had come to our knowledge relative to my +uncle's establishment in Ireland. He heard me very attentively, took out +tablets, and made notes. + +"Well, Peter," said he, after a few minutes' silence, when I had +finished, "I see clearly through this whole business. I have no doubt +but that a child has been substituted to defraud you and me of our just +inheritance of the title and estates; but I will now set to work and try +if I cannot find out the secret; and, with the help of Captain O'Brien +and Father M'Grath, I think it is not at all impossible." + +"O'Brien will do all that he can, sir," replied I; "and I expect soon to +hear from him. He must have now been a week in Ireland." + +"I shall go there myself," replied my father; "and there are no means +that I will not resort to, to discover this infamous plot. No," +exclaimed he, striking his fist on the table, so as to shiver two of the +wine-glasses into fragments--"no means but I will resort to." + +"That is," replied I, "my dear father, no means which may be +legitimately employed by one of your profession." + +"I tell you, no means that can be used by _man_ to recover his defrauded +rights! Tell me not of legitimate means, when I am to lose a title and +property by a spurious and illegitimate substitution! By the God of +heaven, I will meet them with fraud for fraud, with false swearing for +false swearing, and with blood for blood, if it should be necessary! My +brother has dissolved all ties, and I will have my right, even if I +demand it with a pistol at his ear." + +"For Heaven's sake, my dear father, do not be so violent--recollect your +profession." + +"I do," replied he, bitterly; "and how I was forced into it against my +will. I recollect my father's words, the solemn coolness with which he +told me, 'I had my choice of the church, or--to starve.'--But I have my +sermon to prepare for to-morrow, and I can sit here no longer. Tell +Ellen to send me in some tea." + +I did not think my father was in a very fit state of mind to write a +sermon, but I held my tongue. My sister joined me, and we saw no more of +him till breakfast the next day. Before we met, I received a letter from +O'Brien. + + "MY DEAR PETER,--I ran down to Plymouth, hoisted my pennant, drew my + jollies from the dockyard, and set my first lieutenant to work getting + in the ballast and water-tanks. I then set off for Ireland, and was + very well received as Captain O'Brien by my family, who were all + flourishing. + + "Now that my two sisters are so well married off, my father and mother + are very comfortable, but rather lonely; for I believe I told you long + before, that it had pleased Heaven to take all the rest of my brothers + and sisters, except the two now married, and one who bore up for a + nunnery, dedicating her service to God, after she was scarred with the + small-pox, and no man would look at her. Ever since the family have + been grown up, my father and mother have been lamenting and sorrowing + that none of them would go off; and now that they're all gone off one + way or another, they cry all day because they are left all alone with + no one to keep company with them, except Father M'Grath and the pigs. + We never are to be contented in this world, that's sartain; and now + that they are comfortable in every respect, they find that they are + very uncomfortable, and having obtained all their wishes, they wish + everything back again; but as old Maddocks used to say, 'A good growl + is better than a bad dinner' with some people; and the greatest + pleasure that they now have is to grumble; and if that makes them + happy, they must be happy all day long--for the devil a bit do they + leave off from morning till night. + + "The first thing that I did was to send for Father M'Grath, who had + been more away from home than usual--I presume, not finding things + quite so comfortable as they used to be. He told me that he had met + with Father O'Toole, and had a bit of a dialogue with him, which had + ended in a bit of a row, and that he had cudgelled Father O'Toole + well, and tore his gown off his back, and then tore it into shivers,-- + that Father O'Toole had referred the case to the bishop, and that was + how the matter stood just then. 'But,' says he, 'the spalpeen has left + this part of the country, and, what is more, has taken Ella and her + mother with him; and what is still worse, no one could find out where + they were gone; but it was believed that they had all been sent over + the water.' So you see, Peter, that this is a bad job in one point, + which is, that we have no chance of getting the truth out of the old + woman; for now that we have war with France, who is to follow them? On + the other hand, it is good news; for it prevents me from decoying that + poor young girl, and making her believe what will never come to pass; + and I am not a little glad on that score, for Father M'Grath was told + by those who were about her, that she did nothing but weep and moan + for two days before she went away, scolded as she was by her mother, + and threatened by that blackguard O'Toole. It appears to me, that all + our hopes now are in finding out the soldier, and his wife the + wet-nurse, who were sent to India--no doubt with the hope that the + climate and the fevers may carry them off. That uncle of yours is a + great blackguard, every bit of him. I shall leave here in three days, + and you must join me at Plymouth. Make my compliments to your father, + and my regards to your sister, whom may all the saints preserve! God + bless her, for ever and ever. Amen. + + "Yours ever, + + "TERENCE O'BRIEN." + +I put this letter into my father's hands when he came out of his room. +"This is a deep-laid plot," said he, "and I think we must immediately do +as O'Brien states--look after the nurse who was sent to India. Do you +know the regiment to which her husband belongs?" + +"Yes, sir," replied I; "it is the 33rd, and she sailed for India about +three months back." + +"The name, you say, I think, is O'Sullivan," said he, pulling out his +tablets. "Well, I will write immediately to Captain Fielding, and beg +him to make the minutest inquiries. I will also write to your sister +Lucy, for women are much keener than men in affairs of this sort. If the +regiment is ordered to Ceylon, all the better: if not, he must obtain +furlough to prosecute his inquiries. When that is done, I will go myself +to Ireland, and try if we cannot trace the other parties." + +My father then left the room, and I retired with Ellen to make +preparations for joining my ship at Plymouth. A letter announcing my +appointment had come down, and I had written to request my commission to +be forwarded to the clerk of the cheque at Plymouth, that I might save a +useless journey to London. On the following day I parted with my father +and my dear sister, and, without any adventure, arrived at Plymouth +Dock, where I met with O'Brien. The same day I reported myself to the +admiral, and joined my brig, which was lying alongside the hulk with her +topmasts pointed through. Returning from the brig, as I was walking up +Fore-street, I observed a fine stout sailor, whose back was turned to +me, reading the handbill which had been posted up everywhere announcing +that the _Rattlesnake_, Captain O'Brien (about to proceed to the West +India station, where _doubloons_ were so plentiful that dollars were +only used for ballast), was in want of a _few_ stout hands. It might +have been said, of a great many: for we had not entered six men, and +were doing all the work with the marines and riggers of the dockyard; +but it is not the custom to show your poverty in this world either with +regard to men or money. I stopped, and overheard him say, "Ay, as for +the doubloons, that cock won't fight. I've served long enough in the +West Indies not to be humbugged; but I wonder whether Captain O'Brien +was the second lieutenant of the _Sanglier_. If so, I shouldn't mind +trying a cruise with him." I thought that I recollected the voice, and +touching him on the shoulder, he turned round, and it proved to be +Swinburne. "What, Swinburne!" said I, shaking him by the hand, for I was +delighted to see him, "is it you?" + +"Why, Mr Simple! Well, then, I expect that I'm right, and that Mr +O'Brien is made, and commands this craft. When you meet the pilot-fish, +the shark arn't far off, you know." + +"You're very right, Swinburne," said I, "in all except calling Captain +O'Brien a shark. He's no shark." + +"No, that he arn't, except in one way; that is, that I expect he'll soon +show his teeth to the Frenchmen. But I beg your pardon, sir;" and +Swinburne took off his hat. + +"Oh! I understand; you did not perceive before that I had shipped the +swab. Yes, I'm lieutenant of the _Rattlesnake_, Swinburne, and hope +you'll join us." + +"There's my hand upon it, Mr Simple," said he, smacking his great fist +into mine so as to make it tingle. "I'm content if I know that the +captain's a good officer; but when there's two, I think myself lucky. +I'll just take a boat, and put my name on the books, and then I'll be on +shore again to spend the rest of my money, and try if I can't pick up a +few hands as volunteers, for I know where they all be stowed away. I was +looking at the craft this morning, and rather took a fancy to her. She +has a d--d pretty run; but I hope Captain O'Brien will take off her +fiddle-head, and get one carved: I never knew a vessel do much with a +_fiddle_-head." + +"I rather think that Captain O'Brien has already applied to the +Commissioner on the subject," replied I; "at all events, it won't be +very difficult to make the alteration ourselves." + +"To be sure not," replied Swinburne; "a coil of four-inch will make the +body of the snake; I can carve out the head; and as for a _rattle_, I be +blessed if I don't rob one of those beggars of watchmen this very night. +So good-bye, Mr Simple, till we meet again." + +Swinburne kept his word; he joined the ship that afternoon, and the next +day came off with six good hands, who had been induced from his +representations to join the brig. "Tell Captain O'Brien," said he to me, +"not to be in too great a hurry to man his ship. I know where there are +plenty to be had; but I'll try fair means first." This he did, and every +day, almost, he brought off a man, and all he did bring off were good +able seamen. Others volunteered, and we were now more than half-manned, +and ready for sea. The admiral then gave us permission to send +pressgangs on shore. + +"Mr Simple," said Swinburne, "I've tried all I can to persuade a lot of +fine chaps to enter, but they won't. Now I'm resolved that my brig shall +be well manned; and if they don't know what's good for them, I do, and +I'm sure that they will thank me for it afterwards; so I'm determined to +take every mother's son of them." + +The same night we mustered all Swinburne's men and went on shore to a +crimp's house which they knew, surrounded it with our marines in blue +jackets, and took out of it twenty-three fine able seamen, which nearly +filled up our complement. The remainder we obtained by a draft from the +admiral's ship; and I do not believe that there was a vessel that left +Plymouth harbour and anchored in the Sound, better manned than the +_Rattlesnake_. So much for good character, which is never lost upon +seamen O'Brien was universally liked by those who had sailed with him, +and Swinburne, who knew him well persuaded many, and forced the others, +to enter with him, whether they liked it or not. This they in the event +did, and, with the exception of those drafted from the flag-ship, we had +no desertions. Indeed, none deserted whom we would have wished to +retain, and their vacancies were soon filled up with better men. + + + + +Chapter XLII + +We sail for the West Indies--A volunteer for the ship refused and set on +shore again, for reasons which the chapter will satisfactorily explain +to the reader. + + +We were very glad when the master-attendant came on board to take us +into the Sound; and still more glad to perceive that the brig, which had +just been launched before O'Brien was appointed to her, appeared to sail +very fast as she ran out. So it proved after we went to sea; she sailed +wonderfully well, beating every vessel that she met, and overhauling in +a very short time everything that we chased; turning to windward like +magic, and tacking in a moment. Three days after we anchored in the +Sound the ship's company were paid, and our sailing orders came down to +proceed with despatches, by next evening's post, to the island of +Jamaica. We started with a fair wind, and were soon clear of the +channel. Our whole time was now occupied in training our new ship's +company at the guns, and learning them _to pull together;_ and by the +time that we had run down the trades, we were in a very fair state of +discipline. The first lieutenant was rather an odd character; his +brother was a sporting man of large property, and he had contracted, +from his example, a great partiality for such pursuits. He knew the +winning horses of the Derby and the Oaks for twenty years back, was an +adept at all athletic exercises, a capital shot, and had his pointer on +board. In other respects, he was a great dandy in his person, always +wore gloves, even on service, very gentlemanlike and handsome, and not a +very bad sailor; that is, he knew enough to carry on his duty very +creditably, and evidently, now that he was the first lieutenant, and +obliged to work, learnt more of his duty every day. I never met a more +pleasant messmate or a more honourable young man. A brig is only allowed +two lieutenants. The master was a rough, kind-hearted, intelligent young +man, always in good humour. The surgeon and purser completed our mess; +they were men of no character at all, except, perhaps, that the surgeon +was too much of a courtier, and the purser too much of a skin-flint; but +pursers are, generally speaking, more sinned against than sinning. + +But I have been led away, while talking of the brig and the officers, +and had almost forgotten to narrate a circumstance which occurred two +days before we sailed. I was with O'Brien in the cabin, when Mr +Osbaldistone, the first lieutenant, came in, and reported that a boy had +come on board to volunteer for the ship. + +"What sort of a lad is he?" said O'Brien. + +"A very nice lad--very slight, sir," replied the first lieutenant. "We +have two vacancies." + +"Well, see what you make of him; and if you think he will do, you may +put him on the books." + +"I have tried him, sir. He says that he has been a short time at sea. I +made him mount the main-rigging, but he did not much like it." + +"Well, do as you please, Osbaldistone," replied O'Brien; and the first +lieutenant quitted the cabin. + +In about a quarter of an hour he returned. "If you please, sir," said +he, laughing, "I sent the boy down to the surgeon to be examined, and he +refused to strip. The surgeon says that he thinks she is a woman. I have +had her up on the quarter-deck, and she refuses to answer any questions, +and requires to speak with you." + +"With me!" said O'Brien, with surprise. "Oh! one of the men's wives, I +suppose, trying to steal a march upon us. Well, send her down here, +Osbaldistone, and I'll prove to her the moral impossibility of her +sailing in his Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_." + +In a few minutes the first lieutenant sent her down to the cabin door, +and I was about to retire as she entered; but O'Brien stopped me. "Stay, +Peter: my reputation will be at stake if I'm left all alone," said he, +laughing. + +The sentry opened the door, and whether boy or girl, a more interesting +face I never beheld; the hair was cut close, and I could not tell +whether the surgeon's suspicions were correct. + +"You wish to speak--holy St Patrick!" cried O'Brien, looking earnestly +at her features; and O'Brien covered his face and bent over the table, +exclaiming, "My God, my God!" + +In the meantime the colour of the young person fled from her +countenance, and then rushed into it again, alternately leaving it pale +and suffused with blushes. I perceived a trembling over the frame, the +knees shook and knocked together, and had I not hastened, she--for a +female it was--would have fallen on the deck. I perceived that she had +fainted; I therefore laid her down on the deck, and hastened to obtain +some water. O'Brien ran up and went to her. + +"My poor, poor girl!" said he, sorrowfully. "Oh! Peter, this is all your +fault." + +"All my fault! how could she have come here?" + +"By all the saints who pray for us--dearly as I prize them, I would give +up my ship and my commission, that this could be undone." + +As O'Brien hung over her, the tears from his eyes fell upon her face, +while I bathed it with the water I had brought from the dressing-room. I +knew who it must be, although I had never seen her. It was the girl to +whom O'Brien had professed love, to worm out the secret of the exchange +of my uncle's child; and as I beheld the scene I could not help saying +to myself, "Who now will assert that evil may be done that good may +come?" The poor girl showed symptoms of recovering, and O'Brien waved +his hand to me, saying, "Leave us, Peter, and see that no one comes in." + +I remained nearly an hour at the cabin-door, by the sentry, and +prevented many from entering, when O'Brien opened the door, and +requested me to order his gig to be manned and then to come in. The poor +girl had evidently been weeping bitterly, and O'Brien was much affected. + +"All is arranged, Peter; you must go on shore with her, and not leave +her till you see her safe off by the night coach. Do me that favour, +Peter--you ought indeed," continued he, in a low voice, "for you have +been partly the occasion of this." + +I shook O'Brien's hand and made no answer--the boat was reported ready, +and the girl followed me with a firm step. I pulled on shore, saw her +safe in the coach without asking her any question, and then returned on +board. + +"Come on board, sir," said I, entering the cabin with my hat in my hand, +and reporting myself according to the regulations of the service. + +"Thank you," replied O'Brien: "shut the door, Peter. Tell me, how did +she behave? What did she say?" + +"She never spoke, and I never asked her a question. She seemed to be +willing to do as you had arranged." + +"Sit down, Peter. I never felt more unhappy, or more disgusted with +myself in all my life. I feel as if I never could be happy again. A +sailor's life mixes him up with the worst part of the female sex, and we +do not know the real value of the better. I little thought when I was +talking nonsense to that poor girl, that I was breaking one of the +kindest hearts in the world, and sacrificing the happiness of one who +would lay down her existence for me, Peter. Since you have been gone, +it's twenty times that I've looked in the glass just to see whether I +don't look like a villain. But, by the blood of St Patrick! I thought +woman's _love_ was just like our own, and that a three months' cruise +would set all to rights again." + +"I thought she had gone over to France." + +"So did I; but now she has told me all about it. Father M'Dermot[1] and +her mother brought her down to the coast near here to embark in a +smuggling boat for Dieppe. When the boat pulled in-shore in the night to +take them in, the mother and the rascally priest got in, but she felt as +if it was leaving the whole world to leave the country I was in, and she +held back. The officers came down, one or two pistols were fired, and +the boat shoved off without her, and she, with their luggage, was left +on the beach. She went back to the next town with the officers, where +she told the truth of the story, and they let her go. In Father +M'Dermot's luggage she found letters, which she read, and found out that +she and her mother were to have been placed in a convent at Dieppe; and, +as the convent was named in the letters,--which she says are very +important, but I have not had courage to read them yet,--she went to +the people from whose house they had embarked, requesting them to +forward the luggage and a letter to her mother--sending everything but +the letters, which she reserved for me. She has since received a letter +from her mother, telling her that she is safe and well in the convent, +and begging her to come over to her as soon as possible. The mother took +the vows a week after she arrived there, so we know where to find her, +Peter." + +"And where is the poor girl going to stay now, O'Brien?" + +"That's all the worst part of it. It appears that she hoped not to be +found out till after we had sailed, and then to have, as she said, poor +thing! to have laid at my feet and watched over me in the storms; but I +pointed out to her that it was not permitted, and that I would not be +allowed to marry her. O Peter! this is a very sad business," continued +O'Brien, passing his hand across his eyes. + +"Well, but, O'Brien, what is to become of the poor girl?" + +"She is going home to be with my father and mother, hoping one day that +I shall come back and marry her. I have written to Father M'Grath, to +see what he can do." + +"Have you then not undeceived her?" + +"Father M'Grath must do that, I could not. It would have been the death +of her. It would have stabbed her to the heart, and it's not for me to +give that blow. I'd sooner have died--sooner have married her, than have +done it, Peter. Perhaps when I'm far away she'll bear it better. Father +M'Grath will manage it." + +"O'Brien, I don't like that Father M'Grath." + +"Well, Peter, you may be right; I don't exactly like all he says myself; +but what is a man to do?--either he is a Catholic, and believes as a +Catholic, or he is not one. Will I abandon my religion, now that it is +persecuted? Never, Peter: I hope not, without I find a much better, at +all events. Still I do not like to feel that this advice of my confessor +is at variance with my own conscience. Father M'Grath is a worldly man; +but that only proves that he is wrong, not that our religion is--and I +don't mind speaking to you on this subject. No one knows that I'm a +Catholic except yourself: and at the Admiralty they never asked me to +take that oath which I never would have taken, although Father M'Grath +says I may take any oath I please with what he calls heretics, and he +will grant me absolution. Peter, my dear fellow, say no more about it." + +I did not; but I may as well end the history of poor Ella Flanagan at +once, as she will not appear again. About three months afterwards, we +received a letter from Father M'Grath, stating that the girl had arrived +safe, and had been a great comfort to O'Brien's father and mother, who +wished her to remain with them altogether; that Father M'Grath, had told +her that when a man took his commission as captain it was all the same +as going into a monastery as a monk, for he never could marry. The poor +girl believed him, and thinking that O'Brien was lost to her for ever, +with the advice of Father M'Grath, had entered as a nun in one of the +religious houses in Ireland, that, as she said, she might pray for him +night and day. + +Many years afterwards, we heard of her--she was well, and not unhappy; +but O'Brien never forgot his behaviour to this poor girl. It was a +source of continual regret; and I believe, until the last day of his +existence, his heart smote him for his inconsiderate conduct towards +her. But I must leave this distressing topic, and return to the +_Rattlesnake_, which had now arrived at the West Indies, and joined the +Admiral at Jamaica. + +[Footnote 1: The worthy priest formerly called Father O'Toole.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter XLIII + +Description of the Coast of Martinique--Popped at for peeping--No +heroism in making oneself a target--Board a miniature Noah's Ark, under +Yankee colours--Capture a French slaver--Parrot soup in lieu of mock +turtle. + + +We found orders at Barbadoes to cruise off Martinique, to prevent +supplies being furnished to the garrison of the island, and we proceeded +there immediately. I do not know anything more picturesque than running +down the east side of this beautiful island--the ridges of hill +spreading down to the water's edge, covered with the freshest verdure, +divided at the base by small bays, with the beach of dazzling white +sand, and where the little coasting vessels employed to bring the sugar +from the neighbouring estates were riding at anchor. Each hill, at its +adjutment towards the sea, crowned with a fort, on which waved the +tri-colour--certainly, in appearance, one of the most war-like flags in +the world. + +On the third morning we had rounded the Diamond Rock, and were scudding +along the lee-side of the island just opening Fort Royal bay, when +hauling rather too close round its eastern entrance, formed by a +promontory called Solomon's Point, which was covered with brush-wood, we +found ourselves nearer than agreeable to a newly constructed battery. A +column of smoke was poured along the blue water, and it was followed by +the whizzing of a shot, which passed through our boom main sail, first +cutting away the dog-vane, which was close to old Swinburne's head, as +he stood on the carronade, conning the brig. I was at dinner in the +cabin with O'Brien and the first lieutenant. + +"Where the devil have they got the brig now?" said O'Brien, rising from +his chair, and going on deck. + +We both followed; but before we were on deck, three or four more shot +passed between the masts. "If you please, sir," said the master's mate +in charge of the deck, whose name was O'Farrell, "the battery has opened +upon us." + +"Thank you very much for your information, Mr O'Farrell," replied +O'Brien; "but the French have reported it before you. May I ask if +you've any particular fancy to be made a target of, or if you think that +His Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_ was sent here to be riddled for nothing +at all? Starboard the helm, quartermaster." + +The helm was put up, and the brig was soon run out of the fire; not, +however, until a few more shot were pitched close to us, and one carried +away the foretopmast backstay. + +"Now, Mr O'Farrell," replied O'Brien, "I only wish to point out to you +that I trust neither I nor any one in this ship cares a fig about the +whizzing of a shot or two about our ears when there is anything to be +gained for it, either for ourselves or for our country; but I do care a +great deal about losing even the leg or the arm, much more the life of +any of my men, when there's no occasion for it; so, in future, recollect +it's no disgrace to keep out of the way of a battery when all the +advantage is on their side. I've always observed that chance shots pick +out the best men. Lower down the mainsail, and send the sailmakers aft +to repair it." + +When O'Brien returned to the cabin I remained on deck, for it was my +afternoon watch; and although O'Farrell had permission to look out for +me, I did not choose to go down again. The bay of Fort Royal was now +opened, and the view was extremely beautiful. Swinburne was still on the +carronade; and as I knew he had been there before, I applied to him for +information as to the _locale_. He told me the names of the batteries +above the town, pointed out Fort Edward and Negro Point, and +particularly Pigeon Island, the battery at the top of which wore the +appearance of a mural crown. + +"It's well I remember that place, Mr Simple," said he. "It was in '94 +when I was last here. The sodgers had 'sieged it for a whole month, and +were about to give it up, 'cause they couldn't get a gun up on that 'ere +hill you see there. So poor Captain Faulkner says, 'There's many a clear +head under a tarpaulin hat, and I'll give any chap five doubloons that +will hitch up a twenty-four pounder to the top of that hill.' Not quite +so easy a matter, as you may perceive from here, Mr Simple." + +"It certainly appears to me to have been almost impossible, Swinburne," +replied I. + +"And so it did to most of us, Mr Simple; but there was one Dick Smith, +mate of a transport, who had come on shore, and he steps out, saying, +'I've been looking at your men handling that gun, and my opinion is, +that if you gets a butt, crams in a carronade, well woulded up, and fill +it with old junk and rope yarns, you might parbuckle it up to the very +top.' So Captain Faulkner pulls out five doubloons, and gives them to +him, saying, 'You deserve the money for the hint, even if it don't +succeed.' But it did succeed, Mr Simple; and the next day, to their +surprise, we opened fire on the French beggars, and soon brought their +boasting down. One of the French officers, after he was taken prisoner, +axed me how we had managed to get the gun up there; but I wasn't going +to blow the gaff, so I told him, as a great secret, that we got it up +with a kite, upon which he opened all his eyes, and crying '_sacre +bleu!_' walked away, believing all I said was true; but a'n't that a +sail we have opened with the point, Mr Simple?" + +It was so, and I reported it to O'Brien, who came up and gave chase. In +half an hour we were alongside of her, when she hoisted American +colours, and proved to be a brigantine laden up to her gunwale, which +was not above a foot out of the water. Her cargo consisted of what the +Americans called _notions_; that is, in English, an assorted cargo. +Half-way up her masts down to the deck were hung up baskets containing +apples, potatoes, onions, and nuts of various kinds. Her deck was +crowded with cattle, sheep, pigs, and donkeys. Below was full of +shingle, lumber, and a variety of different articles too numerous to +mention. I boarded her, and asked the master whither he was bound? + +"Why," replied he, "I am bound for a market--nowise particular; and I +guess you won't stop me." + +"Not if all's right," replied I; "but I must look at your log." + +"Well, I've a notion there's no great objection to that," replied he; +and he brought it up on deck. + +I had no great time to examine it, but I could not help being amused at +the little I did read, such as--"Horse latitudes--water very short-- +killed white-faced bullock--caught a dolphin, and ate him for dinner-- +broached molasses cask No. I, letter A. Fine night--saw little round +things floating on the water--took up a bucket full--guessed they were +pearls--judge I guessed wrong, only little Portuguese men-of-war--threw +them overboard again--heard a scream, guessed it was a mermaid--looked +out, saw nothing. Witnessed a very strange rippling ahead--calculated it +might be the sea-serpent--stood on to see him plain, and nearly ran on +Barbuda. Hauled off again--met a Britisher--treated _politely_." + +Having overhauled his log, I then begged to overhaul his men to +ascertain if there were any Englishmen among his crew. This was not +pleasing, and he grumbled very much; but they were ordered aft. One man +I was satisfied was an Englishman, and told him so; but the man as well +as the master persisted to the contrary. Nevertheless, I resolved to +take him on board for O'Brien to decide, and ordered him into the boat. + +"Well, if you will use force, I can't help it. My decks an't clear as +you see, or else--I tell you what, Mr Lieutenant, your vessel there will +be another _Hermione_, I've a notion, if you presses true-blooded +Yankees; and, what's more, the States will take it up, as sure as +there's snakes in Virginny." + +Notwithstanding this remonstrance, I took them on board to O'Brien, who +had a long conversation with the American in the cabin. When they +returned on deck he was allowed to depart with his man, and we again +made sail. I had the first watch that night, and as we ran along the +coast I perceived a vessel under the high land in what the sailors +called the _doldrums_; that is, almost becalmed, or her sails flapping +about in every direction with the eddying winds. We steered for her, and +were very soon in the same situation, not more than a quarter of a mile +from her. The quarter-boat was lowered down, and I proceeded to board +her; but as she was large and rakish, O'Brien desired me to be careful, +and if there was the least show of resistance to return. As I pulled up +to her bows they hailed me in French, and desired me to keep off, or +they would fire. This was quite sufficient; and, in obedience to my +orders, I returned to the brig and reported to O'Brien. We lowered down +all the quarter-boats, and towed round the brig's broadside to her, and +then gave her half a dozen carronades of round and grape. Hearing great +noise and confusion on board after we had ceased firing, O'Brien again +sent me to know if they had surrendered. They replied in the +affirmative, and I boarded her. She proved to be the _Commerce de +Bordeaux_, with three hundred and thirty slaves on board, out of five +hundred embarked from the coast, bound to Martinique. The crew were very +sickly, and were most of them in their hammocks. Latterly, they had been +killing parrots to make soup for them; a few that were left, of the grey +species, spoke remarkably well. When they left the coast they had nearly +one thousand parrots on board. + +O'Brien perceiving that I had taken possession, sent another boat to +know what the vessel was. I desired the surgeon to be sent on board, as +some of the men and many of the poor slaves were wounded by our shot. Of +all the miserable objects, I know of none to be compared to the poor +devils of slaves on board of a slave vessel: the state of suffocation +between decks--the dreadful stench arising from their filth, which is +hardly ever cleared away--the sick lying without help, and looked upon +by those who are stronger with the utmost indifference--men, women, and +children, all huddled and crowded together in a state of nudity, worn to +skin and bone from stench, starvation, and living in an atmosphere that +none but a negro could exist in. If all that occurs in a slave-ship were +really known, I think it would be acknowledged that to make the +slave-trade piracy would be nothing more than a just retribution; and +this is certain, that unless it be made piracy, it never will be +discontinued. + +By daylight the vessel was ready, and O'Brien determined to take her to +Dominica, so that the poor devils might be immediately sent on shore. We +anchored with her, in a few days, in Prince Rupert's Bay, where we only +had twenty-four hours to obtain some refreshments and arrange about our +prize, which I hardly need say was of some value. + +During the short time that I was on shore, purchasing some fowls and +vegetables for O'Brien and our own mess, I was amused at witnessing a +black serjeant drilling some of his regiment of free negroes and +mulattoes. He appeared resolved to make the best appearance that he +could, for he began by saying, "You hab shoe and 'tocking, stand in +front--you hab shoe no 'tocking, stand in centre--you hab no shoe no +'tocking, stand in um rear. Face to mountain--back to sea-beach. Why you +no 'tep out, sar?--you hangman!" + +I was curious to count the numbers qualified for the front rank: there +were only two mulattoes. In the second rank there were also only two. No +shoe and no 'tocking appeared to be the fashion. As usual, we were +surrounded by the negroes; and although we had been there but a few +hours, they had a song composed for us, which they constantly +repeated:-- + + "Don't you see the _Rattlesnake_ + Coming under sail? + Don't you see the _Rattlesnake_ + With prizes at um tail?--' +_Rattlesnake_ hab all the money--ding, ding-- +She shall have all that's funny, ding, ding!" + + + + +Chapter XLIV + +Money can purchase anything in the new country--American information not +always to be depended upon--A night attack; we are beaten off--It proves +a _cut up_, instead of a _cut out_--After all, we save something out of +the fire. + + +The next morning we weighed anchor, and returned to our station off +Martinique. We had run within three miles of St Pierre's when we +discovered a vessel coming out under jury-masts. She steered directly +for us, and we made her out to be the American brigantine which we had +boarded some time before. O'Brien sent a boat to bring the master of her +on board. + +"Well, captain," said he, "so you met with a squall?" + +"I calculate not," replied he. + +"Why, then, what the devil have you been about?" + +"Why, I guess I sold all my cargo, and, what's more, I've sold my +masts." + +"Sold your masts! who did you sell them to?" + +"To an almighty pretty French privateer lying in St Pierre's, which had +lost her spars when she was chased by one of your brass-bottomed +sarpents; and I've a notion they paid pretty handsomely too." + +"But how do you mean to get home again?" + +"I calculate to get into the _stream_, and then I'll do very well. If I +meet a nor-wester, why then I'll make a signal of distress, and some one +will tow me in, I guess." + +"Well," replied O'Brien, "but step down into the cabin and take +something, captain." + +"With particular pleasure," replied this strange mortal; and down they +went. + +In about half an hour they returned on deck, and the boat took the +American on board. Soon afterwards, O'Brien desired Osbaldistone and +myself to step down into the cabin. The chart of the harbour of St +Pierre's lay on the table, and O'Brien said, "I have had a long +conversation with the American, and he states that the privateer is at +anchor in this spot" (pointing to a pencil-mark on the chart). "If so, +she is well out; and I see no difficulty in capturing her. You see that +she lays in four fathoms water, and so close under the outer battery, +that the guns could not be pointed down upon the boats. I have also +inquired if they keep a good look-out, and the American says that they +feel so secure that they keep no look-out at all; that the captain and +officers belonging to her are on shore all night, drinking, smoking, and +boasting of what they will do. Now the question is, whether this report +be correct. The American has been well-treated by us, and I see no +reason to doubt him; indeed, he gave the information voluntarily, as if +he wished to serve us." + +I allowed Osbaldistone to speak first: he coincided with O'Brien. I did +not: the very circumstance of her requiring new masts made me doubt the +truth of his assertion as to where she lay; and if one part of his story +was false, why not the whole? O'Brien appeared struck with my argument, +and it was agreed that if the boats did go away, it should be for a +reconnoissance, and that the attempt should only be made, provided it +was found that the privateer laid in the same spot pointed out by the +American master. It was, however, decided that the reconnoissance should +take place that very night, as, allowing the privateer to be anchored on +the spot supposed, there was every probability that she would not remain +there, but haul further in, to take in her new masts. The news that an +expedition was at hand was soon circulated through the ship, and all the +men had taken their cutlasses from the capstern to get them ready for +action. The lighting boats' crews, without orders, were busy with their +boats, some cutting up old blankets to muffle the oars, other making new +grummets. The ship's company were as busy as bees, bustling and buzzing +about the decks, and reminding you of the agitation which takes place in +a hive previous to a swarm. At last, Osbaldistone came on deck, and +ordered the boats' crews to be piped away, and prepare for service. He +was to have the command of the expedition in the launch--I had charge of +the first cutter--O'Farrell of the second, and Swinburne had the charge +of the jolly-boat. At dusk, the head of the brig was again turned +towards St Pierre's, and we ran slowly in. At ten we hove-to, and about +eleven the boats were ordered to haul up, O'Brien repeating his orders +to Mr Osbaldistone, not to make the attempt if the privateer were found +to be anchored close to the town. The men were all mustered on the +quarter-deck, to ascertain if they had the distinguishing mark on their +jackets, that is, square patches of canvas sewed on the left arm, so +that we might recognize friend from foe--a very necessary precaution in +a night expedition; and then they were manned, and ordered to shove off. +The oars were dropped in the water, throwing out a phosphorescent light, +so common in that climate, and away we went. After an hour's pulling, +Osbaldistone lay on his oars in the launch, and we closed with him. + +"We are now at the mouth of the harbour," said he, "and the most perfect +silence must be observed." + +"At the mouth of the harbour, sir!" said Swinburne; "I reckon we are +more than half way in; we passed the point at least ten minutes ago, and +this is the second battery we are now abreast of." + +To this Osbaldistone did not agree, nor indeed did I think that +Swinburne was right; but he persisted in it, and pointed out to us the +lights in the town, which were now all open to us, and which would not +be the case if we were only at the mouth of the harbour. Still we were +of a different opinion, and Swinburne, out of respect to his officers, +said no more. + +We resumed our oars, pulling with the greatest caution; the night was +intensely dark, and we could distinguish nothing. After pulling ten +minutes more, we appeared to be close to the lights in the town; still +we could see no privateer or any other vessel. Again we lay upon our +oars, and held a consultation. Swinburne declared that if the privateer +laid where we supposed, we had passed her long ago; but while we were +debating, O'Farrell cried out, "I see her," and he was right--she was +not more than a cable's length from us. Without waiting for orders, +O'Farrell desired his men to give way, and dashed alongside of the +privateer. Before he was half-way on board of her, lights flew about in +every direction, and a dozen muskets were discharged. We had nothing to +do but to follow him, and in a few seconds we were all alongside of her; +but she was well prepared, and on the alert. Boarding nettings were +triced up all round, every gun had been depressed as much as possible, +and she appeared to be full of men. A scene of confusion and slaughter +now occurred, which I trust never again to witness. All our attempts to +get on board were unavailing; if we tried at a port, a dozen pikes +thrust us back; if we attempted the boarding nettings, we were thrown +down, killed or wounded, into the boats. From every port, and from the +decks of the privateer, the discharge of musketry was incessant. Pistols +were protruded and fired in our faces, while occasionally her carronades +went off, stunning us with their deafening noise, and rocking the boats +in the disturbed water, if they had no other effect. For ten minutes our +exertions never ceased; at last, with half our numbers lying killed and +wounded in the bottom of the boats, the men, worn out and dispirited at +their unavailing attempts, sat down most of them on the boats' thwarts, +loading their muskets, and discharging them into the ports. Osbaldistone +was among the wounded; and perceiving that he was not in the launch, of +whose crew not six remained, I called to Swinburne, who was alongside of +me, and desired him to tell the other boats to make the best of their +way out of the harbour. This was soon communicated to the survivors, who +would have continued the unequal contest to the last man, if I had not +given the order. The launch and second cutter shoved off--O'Farrell also +having fallen; and, as soon as they were clear of the privateer, and had +got their oars to pass, I proceeded to do the same, amidst the shouts +and yells of the Frenchmen, who now jumped on their gunwale and pelted +us with their musketry, cheering, and mocking us. + +"Stop, sir," cried Swinburne, "we'll have a bit of revenge;" so saying, +he hauled-to the launch, and wending her bow to the privateer, directed +her carronade--which they had no idea that we had on board, as we had +not fired it--to where the Frenchmen were crowded the thickest. + +"Stop one moment, Swinburne; put another dose of canister in." We did +so, and then discharged the gun, which had the most murderous effect, +bringing the major part of them down upon the deck. I feel convinced, +from the cries and groans which followed, that if we had had a few more +men, we might have returned and captured the privateer; but it was too +late. The batteries were all lighted up, and although they could not see +the boats, fired in the direction where they supposed us to be; for they +were aware, from the shouting on board the vessel, that we had been +beaten off. The launch had but six hands capable of taking an oar; the +first cutter had but four. In my own boat I had five. Swinburne had two +besides himself in the jolly-boat. + +"This is a sorry business, sir," said Swinburne; "now, what's best to be +done? My idea is, that we had better put all the wounded men into the +launch, man the two cutters and jolly-boat, and tow her off. And, Mr +Simple, instead of keeping on this side, as they will expect in the +batteries, let us keep close in-shore, upon the near side, and their +shot will pass over us." + +This advice was too good not to be followed. It was now two o'clock, and +we had a long pull before us, and no time to lose: we lifted the dead +bodies and the wounded men out of the two cutters and jolly-boat into +the launch. I had no time for examination, but I perceived that +O'Farrell was quite dead, and also a youngster of the name of Pepper, +who must have smuggled himself into the boats. I did, however, look for +Osbaldistone, and found him in the stern sheets of the launch. He had +received a deep wound in the breast, apparently with a pike. He was +sensible, and asked me for a little water, which I procured from the +breaker which was in the launch, and gave it to him. At the word water, +and hearing it poured out from the breaker, many of the wounded men +faintly called out for some. Having no time to spare, I left two men in +the launch, one to steer and the other to give them water, and then +taking her in tow, pulled directly in for the batteries, as advised by +Swinburne, who now sat alongside of me. + +As soon as we were well in-shore, I pulled out of the harbour, with +feelings not by any means enviable. Swinburne said to me in a low voice, +"This will be a hard blow for the captain, Mr Simple. I've always been +told, that a young captain losing his men without bringing any dollars +to his admiral, is not very well received." + +"I am more sorry for him than I can well express, Swinburne," replied I; +"but--what is that a-head--a vessel under weigh?" + +Swinburne stood up in the stern of the cutter, and looked for a few +seconds. "Yes, a large ship standing in under royals--she must be a +Frenchman. Now's our time, sir; so long as we don't go out empty-handed, +all will be well. Oars, all of you. Shall we cast off the launch, sir?" + +"Yes," replied I; "and now, my lads, let us only have the vessel, and we +shall do. She is a merchantman, that's clear (not that I was sure of +it). Swinburne, I think it will be better to let her pass us in-shore; +they will all be looking out of the other side, for they must have seen +the firing." + +"Well thought of, sir," replied Swinburne. + +We laid on our oars, and let her pass us, which she did, creeping in at +the rate of two miles an hour. We then pulled for her quarter in the +three boats, leaving the launch behind us, and boarded. As we premised, +the crew were on deck, and all on the other side of the vessel, so +anxiously looking at the batteries, which were still firing occasional +random shot, that they did not perceive us until we were close to them, +and then they had no time to seize their arms. There were several ladies +on board; some of the people protected them, others ran below. In two +minutes we had possession of her, and had put her head the other way. To +our surprise we found that she mounted fourteen guns. One hatch we left +open for the ladies, some of whom had fainted, to be taken down below; +the others were fastened down by Swinburne. As soon as we had the deck +to ourselves, we manned one of the cutters, and sent it for the launch; +and as soon as she was made fast alongside, we had time to look about +us. The breeze freshened, and, in half an hour, we were out of gun-shot +of all the batteries. I then had the wounded men taken out of the +launch, and Swinburne and the other men bound up their wounds, and made +them as comfortable as they could. + + + + +Chapter XLV + +Some remarkable occurrences take place in the letter of marque--Old +friends with improved faces--The captor a captive; but not carried away, +though the captive is, by the ship's boat--The whole chapter a mixture +of love, war, and merchandise. + + +We had had possession of the vessel about an hour, when the man who was +sentry over the hatchway told me that one or the prisoners wished to +speak with the English commanding officer, and asked leave to come on +deck. I gave permission, and a gentleman came up, stating that he was a +passenger; that the ship was a letter of marque, from Bordeaux; that +there were seven lady passengers on board, who had come out to join +their husbands and families; and that he trusted I would have no +objection to put them on shore, as women could hardly be considered as +objects of warfare. As I knew that O'Brien would have done so, and that +he would be glad to get rid of both women and prisoners if he could, I +replied "Most certainly;" that I would heave-to, that they might not +have so far to pull on shore, and that I would permit the ladies and +other passengers to go on shore. I begged that they would be as quick as +possible in getting their packages ready, and that I would give them two +of the boats belonging to the ship, with a sufficient number of French +seamen belonging to her to man the boats. The Frenchman was very +grateful, thanked me in the name of the ladies, and went down below to +impart the intelligence. I then hove-to, lowered down the boats from the +quarters, and waited for them to come up. It was daylight before they +were ready, but that I did not care about; I saw the brig in the offing +about seven miles off, and I was well clear of the batteries. At last +they made their appearance, one by one coming up the ladder, escorted by +French gentlemen. They had to wait while the packages and bundles were +put into the boats. The first sight which struck them with horror was +the many dead and wounded Englishmen lying on the decks. Expressing +their commiseration, I told them that we had attempted to take the +privateer, and had been repulsed, and that it was coming out of the +harbour that I had fallen in with their ship and captured it. All the +ladies had severally thanked me for my kindness in giving them their +liberty, except one, whose eyes were fixed upon the wounded men, when +the French gentleman went up to her, and reminded her that she had not +expressed her thanks to the commanding officer. + +She turned round to me--I started back. I certainly had seen that face +before--I could not be mistaken; yet she had now grown up into a +beautiful young woman. "Celeste," said I, trembling. "Are you not +Celeste?" + +"Yes," replied she, looking earnestly at me, as if she would discover +who I was, but which it was not very easy to do, begrimed as my face was +with dust and gunpowder. + +"Have you forgotten Peter Simple?" + +"Oh! no--no--never forgot you!" cried Celeste, bursting into tears, and +holding out her hands. + +This scene occasioned no small astonishment to the parties on deck, who +could not comprehend it. She smiled through her tears, as I told her how +happy I was to have the means of being of service to her. "And where is +the colonel?" said I. + +"There," replied she, pointing to the island; "he is now general, and +commands the force in the garrison. And where is Mr O'Brien?" +interrogated Celeste. + +"There," replied I; "he commands that man-of-war, of which I am the +second lieutenant." + +A rapid exchange of inquiries took place, and the boats were stopped +while we were in conversation. Swinburne reported that the brig was +standing in for us, and I felt that in justice to the wounded I could no +longer delay. Still I found time to press her hand, to thank her for the +purse she had given me when I was on the stilts, and to tell her that I +had never forgotten her, and never would. With many remembrances to her +father, I was handing her into the boat, when she said, "I don't know +whether I am right to ask it, but you could do me such a favour." + +"What is it, Celeste?" + +"You have allowed more than one-half of the men to pull us on shore; +some must remain, and they are so miserable--indeed it is hardly yet +decided which of them are to go. Could you let them all go?" + +"That I will, for your sake, Celeste. As soon as your two boats have +shoved off, I will lower down the boat astern, and send the rest after +you; but I must make sail now--God bless you!" + +The boats then shoved off, the passengers waving their handkerchiefs to +us, and I made sail for the brig. As soon as the stern-boat was +alongside, the rest of the crew were called up and put into her, and +followed their companions. I felt that O'Brien would not be angry with +me for letting them all go: and especially when I told him who begged +for them. The vessel's name was the _Victorine_, mounting fourteen guns, +and twenty-four men, with eleven passengers. She was chiefly laden with +silks and wine, and was a very valuable prize. Celeste had time to tell +me that her father had been four years in Martinique, and had left her +at home for her education; and that she was then coming out to join him. +The other ladies were all wives or daughters of officers of the French +garrison on the island, and the gentlemen passengers were some of them +French officers; but as this was told me in secrecy, of course I was not +bound to know it, as they were not in uniform. + +As soon as we had closed with the brig, I hastened on board to O'Brien; +and as soon as a fresh supply of hands to man the boats, and the surgeon +had been despatched on board of the prize, to superintend the removal of +the wounded, I went down with him into the cabin, and narrated what had +occurred. + +"Well," said O'Brien, "all's well that ends well; but this is not the +luckiest hit in the world. Your taking the ship has saved me, Peter; and +I must make as flourishing a despatch as I can. By the powers but it's +very lucky that she has fourteen guns--it sounds grand. I must muddle it +all up together, so that the admiral must think we intended to cut them +both out--and so we did, sure enough, if we had known she had been +there. But I am most anxious to hear the surgeon's report, and whether +poor Osbaldistone will do well. Peter, oblige me by going on board, and +put two marines sentry over the hatchway, so that no one goes down and +pulls the traps about; for I'll send on shore everything belonging to +the passengers, for Colonel O'Brien's sake." + +The surgeon's report was made--six killed and sixteen wounded. The +killed were, O'Farren and Pepper, midshipmen, two seamen and two +marines. The first lieutenant, Osbaldistone, was severely wounded in +three places, but likely to do well; five other men were dangerously +wounded: the other ten would, in all probability, return to their duty +in less than a month. As soon as the wounded were on board, O'Brien +returned with me to the prize, and we went down into the cabin. All the +passengers' effects were collected; the trunks which had been left open +were nailed down: and O'Brien wrote a handsome letter to General +O'Brien, containing a list of the packages sent on shore. We sent the +launch with a flag of truce to the nearest battery; after some demur it +was accepted, and effects landed. We did not wait for an answer, but +made all sail to join the admiral at Barbadoes. + +The next morning we buried those who had fallen. O'Farrell was a fine +young man, brave as a lion, but very hot in his temper. He would have +made a good officer had he been spared. Poor little Pepper was also much +regretted. He was but twelve years old. He had bribed the bowman of the +second cutter to allow him to conceal himself under the fore-sheets of +the boat. His day's allowance of spirits had purchased him this object +of his ambition, which ended so fatally. But as soon as the bodies had +disappeared under the wave, and the service was over, we all felt +happier. There is something very unpleasant, particularly to sailors, in +having a corpse on board. + +We now sailed merrily along, the prize keeping company with us; and, +before we reached Barbadoes, most of the men were convalescent. +Osbaldistone's wounds, were, however, very severe; and he was +recommended to return home, which he did, and obtained his promotion as +soon as he arrived. He was a pleasant messmate, and I was sorry to lose +him; although, the lieutenant appointed in his room being junior to me, +I was promoted to be first lieutenant of the brig. Soon after +Osbaldistone went home, his brother broke his neck when hunting, and +Osbaldistone came into the property. He then quitted the service. + +We found the admiral at Barbadoes, who received O'Brien and his despatch +very well. O'Brien had taken two good prizes, and that was sufficient to +cover a multitude of sins, even if he had committed any; but the +despatch was admirably written, and the admiral, in his letter to the +Admiralty, commented upon Captain O'Brien's successful and daring +attack; whereas, if the truth had been known, it was Swinburne's advice +of pulling up the weather shore, which was the occasion of our capturing +the _Victorine_; but it is very hard to come at the real truth of these +sort of things, as I found out during the time that I was in His +Majesty's service. + + + + +Chapter XLVI + +O'Brien tells his crew that one Englishman is as good as three Frenchmen +on salt water--They prove it--We fall in with an old acquaintance, +although she could not be considered as a friend. + + +Our next cruise was on the coast of Guinea and Gulf of Mexico, where we +were running up and down for three months, without falling in with +anything but West Indiamen bound to Demerara, Berbice, and Surinam, and +occasionally chasing a privateer; but in the light winds they were too +fast for us. Still we were useful in protecting the trade, and O'Brien +had a letter of thanks from the merchants, and a handsome piece of plate +upon his quitting the station. We had made sail for Barbadoes two days, +and were within sight of the island of Trinidad, when we perceived six +sail on the lee-bow. We soon made them out to be three large ships and +three schooners; and immediately guessed, which afterwards proved to be +correct, that they were three privateers, with West India ships which +they had captured. We made all sail, and at first the three privateers +did the same; but afterwards, having made out our force, and not liking +to abandon their prizes, they resolved to fight. The West Indiamen +hauled to the wind on the other tack, and the three privateers shortened +sail and awaited our coming. We beat to quarters, and when everything +was ready, and we were within a mile of the enemy, who had now thrown +out the tri-coloured flag, O'Brien ordered all the men aft on the +quarter-deck, and addressed them: "Now, my men, you see that there are +three privateers, and you also see that there are three West Indiamen, +which they have captured. As for the privateers, it's just a fair match +for you one Englishman can always beat three Frenchmen. We must lick the +privateers for honour and glory, and we must re-capture the ships for +profit, because you'll all want some money when you get on shore again. +So you've just half-a-dozen things to do, and then we'll pipe to +dinner." + +This harangue suited the sailors very well, and they returned to their +guns. "Now, Peter," said O'Brien, "just call away the sail-trimmers from +the guns, for I mean to fight these fellows under sail, and +out-manoeuvre them, if I can. Tell Mr Webster I want to speak with him." + +Mr Webster was the second lieutenant, a very steady, quiet young man, +and a good officer. + +"Mr Webster," said O'Brien, "remember that all the foremost guns must be +very much depressed. I prefer that the shot should strike the water +before it reaches them, rather than it should go over them. See that +your screws are run up at once, and I will take care that no broadside +is thrown away. Starboard, Swinburne." + +"Starboard it is, sir." + +"Steady; so--that's right for the stern of the leeward vessel." + +We were within two cable lengths of the privateers, who still remained +hove-to within half a cable's length of each other. They were very large +schooners, full of men, with their boarding netting triced up, and +showing a very good set of teeth: as it afterwards proved, one mounted +sixteen, and the other two fourteen, guns. + +"Now, my lads, over to the lee guns, and fire as they bear, when we +round to. Hands by the lee head-braces, and jib-sheet, stretch along the +weather braces. Quarter-master abaft, tend the boom-sheet. Port hard, +Swinburne." + +"Port it is, sir," replied Swinburne; and the brig rounded up on the +wind, shooting up under the sterns of the two weathermost schooners, and +discharging the broadsides into them as the guns bore. + +"Be smart and load, my lads, and stand by the same guns. Round in the +weather head-braces. Peter, I don't want her to go about. Stand by to +haul over the boom-sheet, when she pays off. Swinburne, helm amidships." + +By this time another broadside was poured into the schooner, who had not +yet returned our fire, which, having foolishly remained hove to the +wind, they could not do. The brig had now stern way, and O'Brien then +executed a very skilful manoeuvre: he shifted the helm, and made a stern +board, so as to back in between the two weather schooners and the one to +leeward, bracing round at the same time on the other tack. + +"Man both sides, my lads, and give them your broadsides as we pass." + +The men stationed at the starboard guns flew over, and the other side +being again loaded, we exchanged broadsides with the leeward and one of +the windward schooners, the brig continuing her stern way until we +passed ahead of them. By the time that we had re-loaded, the brig had +gathered headway, and again passed between the same two schooners, +exchanging broadsides, and then passing astern of them. + +"Capital, my lads--capital!" said O'Brien; "this is what I call good +fighting." And so it was; for O'Brien had given two raking broadsides, +and four others, receiving only two in return, for the schooners were +not ready for us when we passed between them the last time. + +The smoke had now rolled away to leeward, and we were able to see the +effect of our broadsides. The middle schooner had lost her main-boom, +and appeared very much cut up in the hull. The schooner to leeward did +not appear to have suffered much; but they now perceived their error, +and made sail. They had expected that we should have run in between +them, and fought broadside to broadside, by which means the weathermost +schooner would have taken a raking position, while the others engaged us +to windward and to leeward. Our own damages were trifling--two men +slightly wounded, and one main shroud cut away. We ran about half a mile +astern from them; then with both broadsides ready, we tacked, and found +that, as we expected, we could weather the whole of them. This we did; +O'Brien running the brig within biscuit-throw of the weather schooner, +engaging him broadside to broadside, with the advantage that the other +two could not fire a shot into us without standing a chance of striking +their consort. If he made more sail, so did we; if he shortened, so did +we; so as to keep our position with little variation. The schooner +fought well; but her metal was not to be compared with our thirty-two +pound carronades, which ploughed up her sides at so short a distance, +driving two ports into one. At last her foremast went by the board, and +she dropped astern. In the meantime the other schooners had both tacked, +and were coming up under our stern to rake us, but the accident which +happened to the one we had engaged left us at liberty. We knew that she +could not escape, so we tacked and engaged the other two, nearing them +as fast as we could. The breeze now sprang up fast, and O'Brien put up +the helm and passed between them, giving them both a raking broadside of +grape and cannister, which brought the sticks about their ears. This +sickened them; the smallest schooner, which had been the leewardmost at +the commencement of the action, made all sail on a wind. We clapped on +the royals to follow her, when we perceived that the other schooner, +which had been in the middle, and whose main-boom we had shot away, had +put her helm up, and was crowding all sail before the wind. O'Brien then +said, "Must not try for too much, or we shall lose all. Put her about, +Peter, we must be content with the one that is left us." + +We went about, and ranged up to the schooner which had lost her +foremast; but she, finding that her consort had deserted her, hauled +down her colours just as we were about to pour in our broadside. Our men +gave three cheers; and it was pleasant to see them all shaking hands +with each other, congratulating and laughing at the successful result of +our action. + +"Now, my lads, be smart;--we've done enough for honour, now for profit. +Peter, take the two cutters full of men, and go on board of the +schooner, while I get hold of the three West Indiamen. Rig something +jury forward, and follow me." + +In a minute the cutters were down and full of men. I took possession of +the schooner, while the brig again tacked, and crowding all sail stood +after the captured vessels. The schooner, which was the largest of the +three, was called the _Jean d' Arc_, mounting sixteen guns, and had +fifty-three men on board, the remainder being away in the prizes. The +captain was wounded very badly, and one officer killed. Out of her +ship's company, she had but eight killed and five wounded. They informed +me, that they had sailed three months ago from St Pierre's, Martinique, +and had fallen in with the other two privateers, and cruised in company, +having taken nine West Indiamen since they had come out. "Pray," said I +to the officer who gave the information, "were you ever attacked by +boats when you laid at St Pierre's?" He replied, yes; and that they had +beaten them off. "Did you purchase these masts of an American?" He +replied in the affirmative; so that we had captured the very vessel, in +attempting to cut out which, we had lost so many men. + +We were all very glad of this, and Swinburne said, "Well, hang me if I +didn't think that I had seen that port-hole before; there it was that I +wrenched a pike out of one of the rascal's hands, who tried to stab me, +and into that port-hole I fired at least a dozen muskets. Well, I'm +d----d glad we've got hold of the beggar at last." + +We secured the prisoners below, and commenced putting the schooner in +order. In half an hour, we had completed our knotting and splicing, and +having two of the carpenters with us, in an hour we had got up a small +jury mast forward, sufficient for the present. We lowered the mainsail, +put try-sails on her, and stood after the brig, which was now close to +the prizes; but they separated, and it was not till dark that she had +possession of two. The third was then hull down on the other tack, with +the brig in chase. We followed the brig, as did the two re-captured +vessels, and even with our jury up, we found that we could sail as fast +as they. The next morning, we saw the brig hove-to, and about three +miles a-head, with the three vessels in her possession. We closed, and I +went on board. Webster was put in charge of the privateer; and, after +lying-to for that day to send our prize-masters and men on board to +remove the prisoners, we got up a proper jury-mast, and all made sail +together for Barbadoes. On my return on board, I found that we had but +one man and one boy killed and six wounded, which I was not aware of. I +forgot to say that the names of the other two privateers were _L'Etoile_ +and _La Madeleine_. + +In a fortnight we arrived with all our prizes safe in Carlisle Bay, +where we found the admiral, who had anchored but two days before. I +hardly need say that O'Brien was well received, and gained a great deal +of credit for the action. I found several letters from my sister, the +contents of which gave me much pain. My father had been some months in +Ireland, and returned without gaining any information. My sister said +that he was very unhappy, paid no attention to his clerical duties, and +would sit for days without speaking. That he was very much altered in +his appearance, and had grown thin and care-worn. "In short," said she +"my dear Peter, I am afraid that he is fretting himself to death. Of +course, I am very lonely and melancholy. I cannot help reflecting upon +what will be my situation if any accident should happen to my father. +Accept my uncle's protection I will not; yet, how am I to live, for my +father has saved nothing? I have been very busy lately, trying to +qualify myself for a governess, and practise the harp and piano for +several hours every day. I shall be very, very glad when you come home +again." I showed the letters to O'Brien, who read them with much +attention. I perceived the colour mount into his cheeks, when he read +those parts of her letters in which she mentioned his name, and +expressed her gratitude for his kindness towards me. + +"Never mind, Peter," said O'Brien, returning me the letters; "to whom is +it that I am indebted for my promotion, and this brig, but to you--and +for all the prize-money which I have made, and which, by the head of St +Patrick, comes to a very dacent sum, but to you? Make yourself quite +easy about your dear little sister. We'll club your prize-money and mine +together, and she shall marry a duke, if there is one in England +deserving her; and it's the French that shall furnish her dowry, as sure +as the _Rattlesnake_ carries a tail." + + + + +Chapter XLVII + +I am sent away after prizes, and meet with a hurricane--Am driven on +shore, with the loss of more than half my men--Where is the +_Rattlesnake?_ + + +In three weeks we were again ready for sea, and the admiral ordered us +to our old station off Martinique. We had cruised about a fortnight off +St Pierre's, and, as I walked the deck at night, often did I look at the +lights in the town, and wonder whether any of them were in the presence +of Celeste, when, one evening, being about six miles off shore, we +observed two vessels rounding Negro Point, close in-shore. It was quite +calm, and the boats were towing ahead. + +"It will be dark in half-an-hour, Peter," said O'Brien, "and I think we +might get them before they anchor, or, if they do anchor, it will be +well outside. What do you think?" + +I agreed with him, for in fact, I always seemed to be happier when the +brig was close in-shore, as I felt as if I was nearer to Celeste, and +the further we were off, the more melancholy I became. Continually +thinking of her, and the sight of her after so many years' separation, +had changed my youthful attachment into strong affection. I may say that +I was deeply in love. The very idea of going into the harbour, +therefore, gave me pleasure, and there was no mad or foolish thing that +I would not have done, only to gaze upon the walls which contained the +constant object of my thoughts. These were wild and visionary notions, +and with little chance of ever arriving to any successful issue; but at +one or two-and-twenty we are fond of building castles, and very apt to +fall in love, without considering our prospect of success. I replied, +that I thought it very possible, and wished he would permit me to make +the attempt, as, if I found there was much risk, I would return. + +"I know that I can trust you, Peter," replied O'Brien, "and it's a great +pleasure to know that you have an officer you can trust: but haven't I +brought you up myself, and made a man of you, as I promised I would, +when you were a little spalpeen, with a sniffling nose, and legs in the +shape of two carrots? So hoist out the launch, and get the boats ready-- +the sooner the better. What a hot day this has been--not a cat's-paw on +the water, and the sky all of a mist. Only look at the sun, how he goes +down, puffed out to three times his size, as if he were in a terrible +passion. I suspect we shall have the land breeze off strong." + +In half an hour I shoved off with the boats. It was now quite dark, and +I pulled towards the harbour of St Pierre. The heat was excessive and +unaccountable; not the slightest breath of wind moved in the heavens or +below; no clouds to be seen, and the stars were obscured by a sort of +mist: there appeared a total stagnation in the elements. The men in the +boats pulled off their jackets, for, after a few moments' pulling, they +could bear them no longer. As we pulled in, the atmosphere became more +opaque, and the darkness more intense. We supposed ourselves to be at +the mouth of the harbour, but could see nothing--not three yards ahead +of the boat. Swinburne, who always went with me, was steering the boat, +and I observed to him the unusual appearance of the night. + +"I've been watching it, sir," replied Swinburne, "and I tell you, Mr +Simple, that if we only know how to find the brig, that I would advise +you to get on board of her immediately. She'll want all her hands this +night, or I'm much mistaken." + +"Why do you say so?" replied I. + +"Because I think, nay, I may say that I'm sartin, we'll have a hurricane +afore morning. It's not the first time I've cruised in these latitudes. +I recollect in '94--" + +But I interrupted him: "Swinburne, I believe that you are right. At all +events, I'll turn back: perhaps we may reach the brig before it comes +on. She carries a light, and we can find her out." I then turned the +boat round, and steered, as near as I could guess, for where the brig +was lying. But we had not pulled out more than two minutes before a low +moaning was heard in the atmosphere--now here, now there--and we +appeared to be pulling through solid darkness, if I may use the +expression. Swinburne looked around him and pointed out on the starboard +bow. + +"It's a-coming, Mr Simple, sure enough; many's the living being that +will not rise on its legs to-morrow. See, sir." + +I looked, and dark as it was, it appeared as if a sort of black wall was +sweeping along the water right towards us. The moaning gradually +increased to a stunning roar, and then at once it broke upon us with a +noise to which no thunder can bear a comparison. The oars were caught by +the wind with such force that the men were dashed forward under the +thwarts, many of them severely hurt. Fortunately we pulled with tholes +and pins, or the gunwale and planks of the boat would have been wrenched +off, and we should have foundered. The wind soon caught the boat on her +broadside, and, had there been the least sea, would have inevitably +thrown her over; but Swinburne put the helm down, and she fell off +before the hurricane, darting through the boiling water at the rate of +ten miles an hour. All hands were aghast; they had recovered their +seats, but were obliged to relinquish them and sit down at the bottom, +holding on by the thwarts. The terrific roaring of the hurricane +prevented any communication, except by gesture. The other boats had +disappeared; lighter than ours, they had flown away faster before the +sweeping element; but we had not been a minute before the wind before +the sea rose in a most unaccountable manner--it appeared to be by magic. +Of all the horrors that ever I witnessed, nothing could be compared to +the scene of this night. We could see nothing, and heard only the wind, +before which we were darting like an arrow--to where we knew not, unless +it was to certain death. Swinburne steered the boat, every now and then +looking back as the waves increased. In a few minutes we were in a heavy +swell, that at one minute bore us all aloft, and at the next almost +sheltered us from the hurricane; and now the atmosphere was charged with +showers of spray, the wind cutting off the summits of the waves, as if +with a knife, and carrying them along with it, as it were, in its arms. +The boat was filling with water, and appeared to settle down fast. The +men baled with their hats in silence, when a large wave culminated over +the stern, filling us up to our thwarts. The next moment we all received +a shock so violent, that we were jerked from our seats. Swinburne was +thrown over my head. Every timber of the boat separated at once, and she +appeared to crumble from under us, leaving us floating on the raging +waters. We all struck out for our lives, but with little hope of +preserving them; but the next wave dashed us on the rocks, against which +the boat had already been hurled. That wave gave life to some and death +to others. Me, in Heaven's mercy, it preserved: I was thrown so high up +that I merely scraped against the top of the rock, breaking two of my +ribs. Swinburne, and eight more, escaped with me, but not unhurt: two +had their legs broken, three had broken arms, and the others were more +or less contused. Swinburne miraculously received no injury. We had been +eighteen in the boat, of which ten escaped: the others were hurled up at +our feet; and the next morning we found them dreadfully mangled. One or +two had their skulls literally shattered to pieces against the rocks. I +felt that I was saved, and was grateful; but still the hurricane howled +--still the waves were washing over us. I crawled further up upon the +beach, and found Swinburne sitting down with his eyes directed seaward. +He knew me, took my hand, squeezed it, and then held it in his. For some +moments we remained in this position, when the waves, which every moment +increased in volume, washed up to us, and obliged us to crawl further +up. I then looked around me; the hurricane continued in its fury, but +the atmosphere was not so dark. I could trace, for some distance, the +line of the harbour, from the ridge of foam upon the shore; and, for the +first time, I thought of O'Brien and the brig. I put my mouth close to +Swinburne's ear, and cried out, "O'Brien!" Swinburne shook his head, and +looked up again at the offing. I thought whether there was any chance of +the brig's escape. She was certainly six, if not seven miles off, and +the hurricane was not direct on the shore. She might have a drift of ten +miles, perhaps; but what was that against such tremendous power? I +prayed for those on board of the brig, and returned thanks for my own +preservation. I was, or soon should be, a prisoner, no doubt; but what +was that? I thought of Celeste, and felt almost happy. + +In about three hours the force of the wind subsided. It still blew a +heavy gale, but the sky cleared up, the stars again twinkled in the +heavens, and we could see to a considerable distance. + +"It's breaking now, sir," said Swinburne, at last; "satisfied with the +injury it has done--and that's no little. This is worse than '94." + +"Now, I'd give all my pay and prize-money if it were only daylight, and +I could know the fate of the poor _Rattlesnake_. What do you think, +Swinburne?" + +"All depends upon whether they were taken unprepared, sir. Captain +O'Brien is as good a seaman as ever trod a plank; but he never has been +in a hurricane, and may not have known, the signs and warnings which God +in His mercy has vouchsafed to us. Your flush vessels fill easily--but +we must hope for the best." + +Most anxiously did we look out for the day, which appeared to us as if +it never would break. At last the dawn appeared, and we stretched our +eyes to every part of the offing as it was lighted up, but we could not +see the brig. The sun rose, and all was bright and clear; but we looked +not around us, our eyes were directed to where we had left the brig. The +sea was still running high, but the wind abated fast. + +"Thank God!" ejaculated Swinburne, when he had directed his eyes along +the coast, "she is above water, at all events!" and looking in the +direction where he pointed, I perceived the brig within two miles of the +shore, dismantled, and tossing in the waves. + +"I see her," replied I, catching my breath with joy; "but--still--I +think she must go on shore." + +"All depends upon whether she can get a little bit of sail up to weather +the point," replied Swinburne; "and depend upon it, Captain O'Brien +knows that as well as we do." + +We were now joined by the other men who were saved. We all shook hands. +They pointed out to me the bodies of our shipmates who had perished. I +directed them to haul them further up, and put them all together; and +continued, with Swinburne, to watch the brig. In about half an hour we +perceived a triangle raised, and in ten minutes afterwards a jury-mast +abaft--a try-sail was hoisted and set. Then the shears were seen +forward, and in as short a time another try-sail and a storm-jib were +expanded to the wind. + +"That's all he can do now, Mr Simple," observed Swinburne; "he must +trust to them and Providence. They are not more than a mile from the +beach--it will be touch and go." + +Anxiously did we watch for more than half an hour; the other men +returned to us, and joined in our speculations. At one time we thought +it impossible--at another, we were certain that she would weather the +point. At last, as she neared us, she warped ahead: my anxiety became +almost insupportable. I stood first on one leg, and then on the other, +breathless with suspense. She appeared to be on the point--actually +touching the rocks--"God! she's struck!" said I. + +"No!" replied Swinburne;--and then we saw her pass on the other side of +the outermost rock and disappear. + +"Safe, Mr Simple!--weathered, by God!" cried Swinburne, waving his hat +with joy. + +"God be thanked!" replied I, overcome with delight. + + + + +Chapter XLVIII + +The devastation of the hurricane--Peter makes friends--At destroying or +saving, nothing like British seamen--Peter meets with General O'Brien, +much to his satisfaction--Has another meeting still more so--A great +deal of pressing of hands, "and all that," as Pope says. + + +Now that the brig was safe, we thought of ourselves. My first attention +was directed to the dead bodies, and as I looked at their mangled limbs, +I felt grateful to Heaven that I had been so miraculously spared. We +then cast our eyes along the beach to see if we could trace any remnants +of the other boats, but in vain. We were about three miles from the +town, which we could perceive had received considerable damage, and the +beach below it was strewed with wrecks and fragments. I told the men +that we might as well walk into the town and deliver ourselves up as +prisoners; to which they agreed, and we set forward, promising to send +for the poor fellows who were too much hurt to accompany us. + +As soon as we climbed up the rocks, and gained the inland, what a sight +presented itself to us! Trees torn up by the roots in every direction-- +cattle lying dead--here and there the remains of a house, of which the +other parts had been swept away for miles. Everything not built of solid +masonry had disappeared. We passed what had been a range of negro huts, +but they were levelled to the ground. The negroes were busily searching +for their property among the ruins, while the women held their infants +in their arms, and the other children by their sides. Here and there was +the mother wailing over the dead body of some poor little thing which +had been crushed to death. They took no notice of us. About half a mile +further on, to our great delight, we fell in with the crews of the other +boats, who were sitting by the side of the road. They had all escaped +unhurt; their boats, being so much more buoyant than ours, had been +thrown up high and dry. They joined us, and we proceeded on our way. On +our road we fell in with a cart blown over, under the wheel of which was +the leg of the negro who conducted it. We released the poor fellow; his +leg was fractured. We laid him by the side of the road in the shade, and +continued our march. Our whole route was one scene of desolation and +distress; but when we arrived at the town, we found that there it was +indeed accumulated. There was not one house in three standing entire-- +the beach was covered with remnants of bodies and fragments of vessels, +whose masts lay forced several feet into the sand, and broken into four +or five pieces. Parties of soldiers were busy taking away the bodies, +and removing what few valuables had been saved. We turned up into the +town, for no one accosted us or even noticed us; and here the scene was +even more dreadful. In some streets they were digging out those who were +still alive, and whose cries were heard among the ruins; in others they +were carrying away the dead bodies. The lamentations of the relatives-- +the howling of the negroes--the cries of the wounded--the cursing and +swearing of the French soldiers, and the orders delivered continually by +officers on horseback, with all the confusion arising from crowds of +spectators, mingling their voices together, formed a scene as dreadful +as it was novel. After surveying it for a few minutes, I went up to an +officer on horseback, and told him in French, that I wished to surrender +myself as a prisoner. + +"We have no time to take prisoners now," replied he; "hundreds are +buried in the ruins, and we must try to save them. We must now attend to +the claims of humanity." + +"Will you allow my men to assist you, sir?" replied I. "They are active +and strong fellows." + +"Sir," said he, taking off his hat, "I thank you in the name of my +unfortunate countrymen." + +"Show us, then, where we may be most useful." + +He turned and pointed to a house higher up, the offices of which were +blown down. "There are living beings under those ruins." + +"Come, my lads," said I; and sore as they were, my men hastened with +alacrity to perform their task. I could not help them myself, my side +was so painful; but I stood by giving them directions. In half an hour +we had cleared away, so as to arrive at a poor negro girl, whose cries +we had distinctly heard. We released her and laid her down in the +street, but she fainted. Her left hand was dreadfully shattered. I was +giving what assistance I could, and the men were busy clearing away, +throwing on one side the beams and rafters, when an officer on horseback +rode up. He stood and asked me who we were. I told him that we belonged +to the brig, and had been wrecked; and that we were giving what +assistance we could until they were at leisure to send us to prison. + +"You English are fine brave fellows," replied he, and he rode on. + +Another unfortunate object had been recovered by our men, an old +white-headed negro, but he was too much mangled to live. We brought him +out, and were laying him beside the negro girl, when several officers on +horseback rode down the street. The one who was foremost, in a general's +uniform, I immediately recognized as my former friend, then Colonel +O'Brien. They all stopped and looked at us. I told who we were. General +O'Brien took off his hat to the sailors, and thanked them. He did not +recognize me, and he was passing on, when I said to him in English, +"General O'Brien, you have forgotten me, but I shall never forget your +kindness." + +"My God!" said he, "is it you, my dear fellow?" and he sprang from his +horse and shook me warmly by the hand. "No wonder that I did not know +you; you are a very different person from little Peter Simple, who +dressed up as a girl and danced on stilts. But I have to thank you, and +so has Celeste for your kindness to her. I will not ask you to leave +your work of charity and kindness, but when you have done what you can, +come up to my house. Anyone will show it to you; and if you do not find +me you will find Celeste, as you must be aware cannot leave this +melancholy employment. God bless you!" He then rode off, followed by his +staff. + +"Come, my lads," said I, "depend upon it we shall not be very cruelly +treated. Let us work hard, and do all the good we can, and the Frenchmen +won't forget it." + +We had cleared that house, and went back to where the other people were +working under the orders of the officer on horseback. I went up to him, +and told him we had saved two, and if he had no objection, would assist +his party. He thankfully accepted our services. + +"And now, my lads," said Swinburne, "let us forget all our bruises, and +show these French fellows how to work." + +And they did so: they tossed away the beams and rafters right and left +with a quickness and dexterity which quite astonished the officer and +other inhabitants who were looking on, and in half an hour had done more +work than could have been possibly expected. Several lives were saved, +and the French expressed their admiration at our sailors' conduct, and +brought them something to drink, which they stood much in need of, poor +fellows. After that they worked double tides, as we say, and certainly +were the means of saving many lives which otherwise would have been +sacrificed. + +The disasters occasioned by this hurricane were very great, owing to its +having taken place at night, when the chief of the inhabitants were in +bed and asleep. I was told that most of the wood houses were down five +minutes after the hurricane burst upon them. About noon there was no +more work for us to do, and I was not sorry that it was over. My side +was very painful, and the burning heat of the sun made me feel giddy and +sick at the stomach. I inquired of a respectable looking old Frenchman +which was the General's house. He directed me to it, and I proceeded +there, followed by my men. When I arrived, I found the orderly leading +away the horse of General O'Brien, who had just returned. I desired a +sergeant, who was in attendance at the door, to acquaint the general +that I was below. He returned, and desired me to follow him. I was +conducted into a large room, where I found him in company with several +officers. He again greeted me warmly, and introduced me to the company +as the officer who had permitted the ladies who had been taken prisoners +to come on shore. + +"I have to thank you, then, for my wife," said an officer, coming up, +and offering his hand. + +Another came up, and told me that I had also released his. We then +entered into a conversation, in which I stated, the occasion of my +having been wrecked, and all the particulars; also, that I had seen the +brig in the morning dismasted, but that she had weathered the point, and +was safe. + +"That brig of yours, I must pay you the compliment to say, has been very +troublesome; and my namesake keeps the batteries more upon the alert +than ever I could have done," said General O'Brien. "I don't believe +there is a negro five years old upon the island who does not know your +brig." + +We then talked over the attack of the privateer, in which we were beaten +off. "Ah!" replied the aide-de-camp, "you made a mess of that. He has +been gone these four months. Captain Carnot swears that he'll fight you +if he falls in with you." + +"He has kept his word," replied I; and then I narrated our action with +the three French privateers, and the capture of the vessel; which +surprised and, I think, annoyed them very much. + +"Well, my friend," said General O'Brien, "you must stay with me while +you are on the island; if you want anything, let me know." + +"I am afraid that I want a surgeon," replied I; "for my side is so +painful that I can scarcely breathe." + +"Are you hurt then?" said General O'Brien, with an anxious look. + +"Not dangerously, I believe," said I, "but rather painfully." + +"Let me see," said an officer, who stepped forward; "I am surgeon to the +forces here, and perhaps you will trust yourself in my hands. Take off +your coat." + +I did so with difficulty. "You have two ribs broken," said he, "and a +very severe contusion. You must go to bed, or lie on a sofa, for a few +days. In a quarter of an hour I will come and dress you, and promise you +to make you all well in ten days, in return for your having given me my +daughter, who was on board of the _Victorine_ with the other ladies." +The officers now made their bows, and left me alone with General +O'Brien. + +"Recollect," said he, "that I tell it you once for all, that my purse, +and everything, is at your command. If you do not accept them freely, I +shall think you do not love us. It is not the first time, Peter, and you +repaid me honourably. However, of course, I was no party to that affair; +it was Celeste's doing," continued he, laughing. "Of course, I could not +imagine that it was you who was dressed up as a woman, and so impudently +danced through France on stilts. But I must hear all your adventures +by-and-by, Celeste is most anxious to see you. Will you go now, or wait +till after the surgeon comes?" + +"Oh, now, if you please, general. May I first beg that some care may be +taken of my poor men; they have had nothing to eat since yesterday, are +very much bruised, and have worked hard; and that a cart may be sent for +those who lie maimed on the beach?" + +"I should have thought of them before," replied he: "and I will also +order the same party to bury the other poor fellows who are lying on the +beach. Come, now--will take you to Celeste." + + + + +Chapter XLIX + +Broken ribs not likely to produce broken hearts--O'Brien makes something +very like a declaration of peace--Peter Simple actually makes a +declaration of love--Rash proceedings on all sides. + + +I followed the general into a handsomely furnished apartment, where I +found Celeste waiting to receive me. She ran to me as soon as I entered; +and with what pleasure did I take her hand, and look on her beautiful +expressive countenance! I could not say a word--neither did Celeste. For +a minute I held her hand in mine, looking at her; the general stood by +regarding us alternately. He then turned round, and walked to the +window. I lifted the hand to my lips, and then released it. + +"It appears to be a dream, almost," said Celeste. + +I could not make any reply, but continued to gaze upon her--she had +grown up into such a beautiful creature. Her figure was perfect, and the +expression of her countenance was so varied--so full of intellect and +feeling--it was angelic. Her eyes, suffused with tears, beamed so +softly, so kindly on me, I could have fallen down and worshipped her. + +"Come," said General O'Brien; "come, my dear friend, now that you have +seen Celeste, the surgeon must see you." + +"The surgeon," cried Celeste, with alarm. + +"Yes, my love; it is of no consequence--only a couple of ribs broken." + +I followed General O'Brien out of the room, and as I came to the door I +turned round to look at Celeste. She had retreated to the sofa, and her +handkerchief was up to her eyes. The surgeon was waiting for me; he +bandaged me, and applied some cooling lotion to my side, which made me +feel quite comfortable. + +"I must now leave you," said General O'Brien; "you had better lie down +for an hour or two, and then, if I am not back, you know your way to +Celeste." + +I lay down as he requested; but as soon as I heard the clatter of the +horse's hoofs, as he rode off, I left the room, and hurried to the +drawing-room. Celeste was there, and hastened to inquire if I was much +hurt. I replied in the negative, and told her that I had come down to +prove it to her; and we then sat down on the sofa together. + +"I have the misfortune never to appear before you, Celeste, except in a +very unprepossessing state. When you first saw me I was wounded; at our +next meeting I was in woman's clothes; the last time we met I was +covered with dirt and gunpowder; and now I return to you wounded and in +rags. I wonder whether I shall ever appear before you as a gentleman?" + +"It is not the clothes which make the gentleman, Peter. I am too happy +to see you to think of how you are dressed. I have never yet thanked you +for your kindness to us when we last met. My father will never forget +it." + +"Nor have I thanked you, Celeste, for your kindness in dropping the +purse into the hat, when you met me, trying to escape from France. I +have never forgotten you, and since we met the last time, you have +hardly ever been out of my thoughts. You don't know how thankful I am to +the hurricane for having blown me into your presence. When we cruised in +the brig, I have often examined the town with my glass, trying to fancy +that I had my eye upon the house you were in; and have felt so happy +when we were close in shore, because I knew that I was nearer to you." + +"And, Peter, I have often watched the brig, and have been so glad to see +it come nearer, and then so afraid that the batteries would fire at you. +What a pity it is that my father and you should be opposed to each +other--we might be so happy!" + +"And may be yet, Celeste," replied I. + +We conversed for two hours, which appeared to be but ten minutes. I felt +that I was in love, but I do not think that Celeste had any idea at the +time that she was--but I leave the reader to judge from the little +conversation I have quoted, whether she was not, or something very much +approaching to it. + +The next morning I went out early to look for the brig, and, to my great +delight, saw her about six miles off the harbour's mouth, standing in +for the land. She had now got up very respectable jury-masts, with +topgallants for topsails, and appeared to be well under command. When +she was within three miles of the harbour she lowered the jolly-boat, +the only one she had left, and it pulled in-shore with a flag of truce +hoisted at the bows. I immediately returned to my room, and wrote a +detailed account of what had taken place, ready to send to O'Brien when +the boat returned, and I, of course, requested him to send me my +effects, as I had nothing but what I stood in. I had just completed my +letter when General O'Brien came in. + +"My dear friend," said he, "I have just received a flag of truce from +Captain O'Brien, requesting to know the fate of his boats' crews, and +permission to send in return the clothes and effects of the survivors." + +"I have written down the whole circumstances for him, and made the same +request to him," replied I; and I handed him my letter. He read it over +and returned it. + +"But, my dear lad, you must think very poorly of us Frenchmen, if you +imagine that we intend to detain you here as a prisoner. In the first +place, your liberation of so many French subjects, when you captured the +_Victorine_, would entitle you to a similar act of kindness; and, in the +next place, you have not been fairly captured, but by a visitation of +Providence, which, by the means of the late storm, must destroy all +national antipathies, and promote that universal philanthropy between +all men, which your brave fellows proved that they possess. You are, +therefore, free to depart with all your men, and we shall still hold +ourselves your debtors. How is your side to-day?" + +"Oh, very bad, indeed," replied I; for I could not bear the idea of +returning to the brig so soon, for I had been obliged to quit Celeste +very soon after dinner the day before, and go to bed. I had not yet had +much conversation with her, nor had I told General O'Brien how it was +that we escaped from France. "I don't think I can possibly go on board +to-day, but I feel very grateful to you for your kindness." + +"Well, well," replied the general, who observed my feelings, "I do not +think it is necessary that you should go on board to-day. I will send +the men and your letter, and I will write to Captain O'Brien, to say +that you are in bed, and will not bear moving until the day after +tomorrow. Will that do?" + +I thought it but a very short time, but I saw that the general looked as +if he expected me to consent; so I did. + +"The boat can come and return again with some of your clothes," +continued the general, "and I will tell Captain O'Brien that if he comes +off the mouth of the harbour the day after to-morrow, I will send you on +board in one of our boats." + +He then took my letter and quitted the room. As soon as he was gone I +found myself quite well enough to go to Celeste, who waited for me, and +I told her what had passed. That morning I sat with her and the general, +and narrated all my adventures, which amused the general very much. I +did not conceal the conduct of my uncle, and the hopes which I faintly +entertained of being able, some day or another, to discover the fraud +which had been practised, or how very unfavourable were my future +prospects if I did not succeed. At this portion of my narrative the +general appeared very thoughtful and grave. When I had finished, it was +near dinner time, and I found that my clothes had arrived with a letter +from O'Brien, who stated how miserable he had been at the supposition of +my loss, and his delight at my escape. He stated that on going down into +the cabin, after I had shoved off, he, by chance, cast his eyes on the +barometer, and, to his surprise, found that it had fallen two inches, +which he had been told was the case previous to a hurricane. This, +combined with the peculiar state of the atmosphere, had induced him to +make every preparation, and that they had just completed their work when +it came on. The brig was thrown on her beam ends, and lay there for half +an hour, when they were forced to cut away the masts to right her. That +they did not weather the point the next morning by more than half a +cable's length; and concluded by saying, that the idea of my death had +made him so unhappy that, if it had not been for the sake of the men, it +was almost a matter of indifference to him whether he had been lost or +not. He had written to General O'Brien, thanking him for his kindness; +and that, if fifty vessels should pass the brig, he would not capture +one of them, until I was on board again, even if he were dismissed the +service for neglect of duty. He said, that the brig sailed almost as +fast under jury-masts as she did before, and that, as soon as I came on +board, he should go back to Barbadoes. "As for your ribs being so bad, +Peter, that's all bother," continued he; "I know that you are making +arrangements for another sort of _rib_, as soon as you can manage it; +but you must stop a little, my boy. You shall be a lord yet, as I always +promised you that you should. It's a long lane that has no turning--so +good-bye." + +When I was alone with Celeste, I showed her O'Brien's letter. I had read +the part of it relative to his not intending to make any capture while I +was on shore to General O'Brien, who replied, "that under such +circumstances he thought' he should do right to detain me a little +longer but," said he, "O'Brien is a man of honour, and worthy of his +name." + +When Celeste came to that part of the letter in which O'Brien stated +that I was looking after another rib, and which I had quite forgotten, +she asked me to explain it; for, although she could read and speak +English very well, she had not been sufficiently accustomed to it to +comprehend the play upon words. I translated, and then said, "Indeed, +Celeste, I had forgotten that observation of O'Brien's, or I should not +have shown you the letter; but he has stated the truth. After all your +kindness to me, how can I help being in love with you? and need I add, +that I should consider it the greatest blessing which Heaven could grant +me, if you could feel so much regard for me as one day to become my +wife! Don't be angry with me for telling you the truth," continued I, +for Celeste coloured up as I spoke to her. + +"Oh, no! I am not angry with you, Peter; far from it. It is very +complimentary to me--what you have just said." + +"I am aware," continued I, "that at present I have little to offer you-- +indeed, nothing. I am not even such a match as your father might approve +of; but you know my whole history, and what my desires are." + +"My dear father loves me, Peter, and he loves you too, very much--he +always did, from the hour he saw you--he was so pleased with your +candour and honesty of character. He has often told me so, and very +often talked of you." + +"Well, Celeste, tell me,--may I when far away, be permitted to think of +you, and indulge a hope, that some day we may meet never to part again?" +And I took Celeste by the hand, and put my arm round her waist. + +"I don't know what to say," replied she; "I will speak to my father, or +perhaps you will; but I will never marry anybody else, if I can help +it." + +I drew her close to me, and kissed her. Celeste burst into tears, and +laid her head upon my shoulder. When General O'Brien came I did not +attempt to move, nor did Celeste. + +"General," said I, "you may think me to blame, but I have not been able +to conceal what I feel for Celeste. You may think that I am imprudent, +and that I am wrong in thus divulging what I ought to have concealed, +until I was in a situation to warrant my aspiring to your daughter's +hand; but the short time allowed me to be in her company, the fear of +losing her, and my devoted attachment, will, I trust, plead my excuse." + +The general took one or two turns up and down the room, and then +replied, "What says Celeste?" + +"Celeste will never do anything to make her father unhappy," replied +she, going up to him and hiding her face in his breast, with her arm +round his neck. + +The general kissed his daughter, and then said, "I will be frank with +you, Mr Simple. I do not know any man whom I would prefer to you as a +son-in-law; but there are many considerations which young people are +very apt to forget. I do not interfere in your attachment, which appears +to be mutual; but, at the same time, I will have no promise and no +engagement, you may never meet again. However, Celeste is very young, +and I shall not put any constraint upon her; and at the same time you +are equally free, if time and circumstances should alter your present +feelings." + +"I can ask no more, my dear sir," replied I, taking the general by the +hand; "it is candid--more than I had any reason to expect. I shall now +leave you with a contented mind, and the hopes of one day claiming +Celeste shall spur me to exertion." + +"Now, if you please, we will drop the subject," said the general. +"Celeste, my dear, we have a large party to dinner, as you know. You had +better retire to your room and get ready. I have asked all the ladies +that you liberated, Peter, and all their husbands and fathers; so you +will have the pleasure of witnessing how many people you made happy by +your gallantry. Now that Celeste has left the room, Peter, I must beg +that, as a man of honour, you do not exact from her any more promises, +or induce her to tie herself down to you by oaths. Her attachment to you +has grown up with her unaccountably, and she is already too fond of you +for her peace of mind, should accident or circumstances part you for +ever. Let us hope for the best, and depend upon it that it shall be no +trifling obstacle which will hinder me from seeing you one day united." + +I thanked the general with tears; he shook me warmly by the hand as I +gave my promise, and we separated. + +How happy did I feel when I went into my room, and sat down to compose +my mind and think over what had happened. True, at one moment the +thought of my dependent situation threw a damp over my joy; but in the +next I was building castles, inventing a discovery of my uncle's plot, +fancying myself in possession of the title and property, and laying it +at the feet of my dear Celeste. Hope sustained my spirits, and I felt +satisfied for the present with the consideration that Celeste returned +my love. I decked myself carefully, and went down, where I found all the +company assembled. We had a very pleasant, happy party, and the ladies +entreated General O'Brien to detain me as a prisoner--very kind of them +--and I felt very much disposed to join in their request. + + + + +Chapter L + +Peter Simple first takes a command, then three West Indiamen, and twenty +prisoners--One good turn deserves another--The prisoners endeavour to +take him, but are themselves taken in. + + +The next day I was very unhappy. The brig was in the offing waiting for +me to come on hoard. I pointed her out to Celeste as we were at the +window, and her eyes met mine. An hour's conversation could not have +said more. General O'Brien showed that he had perfect confidence in me +for he left us together. + +"Celeste," said I, "I have promised your father--" + +"I know what has passed," interrupted she; "he told me everything." + +"How kind he is! But I did not say that I would not bind myself, +Celeste." + +"No! but my father made me promise that you should not--that if you +attempted, I was immediately to prevent you--and so I shall." + +"Then you shall keep your word, Celeste. Imagine everything that can be +said in this--" and I kissed her. + +"Don't think me forward, Peter, but I wish you to go away happy," said +Celeste; "and therefore, in return, imagine all I could say in this" and +she returned my salute. + +After this we had a conversation of two hours; but what lovers say is +very silly, except to themselves, and the reader need not be troubled +with it. General O'Brien came in and told me the boat was ready. I rose +up--I was satisfied with what had passed, and with a firm voice I said, +"Good-bye, Celeste; God bless you!" and followed the general, who, with +some of his officers, walked down with me to the beach. I thanked the +general, who embraced me, paid my adieus to the officers, and stepped +into the boat. In half an hour I was on board of the brig, and in +O'Brien's arms. We put the helm up, and in a short time the town of St +Pierre was shut out from my longing sight, and we were on our way to +Barbadoes. That day was passed in the cabin with O'Brien, giving him a +minute detail of all that had passed. + +When we anchored once more in Carlisle Bay, we found that the hurricane +had been much more extensive in the Windward Islands than we had +imagined. Several men of war were lying there, having lost one or more +of their masts, and there was great difficulty in supplying the wants of +so many. As we arrived the last, of course we were last served; and, +there being no boats left in store, there was no chance of our being +ready for sea under two or three months. The _Joan d' Arc_ schooner +privateer was still lying there, but had not been fitted out for want of +men; and the admiral proposed to O'Brien that he should man her with a +part of his ship's company, and send one of his lieutenants out to +cruise in her. This was gladly assented to by O'Brien, who came on board +and asked me whether I should like to have her, which I agreed to, as I +was quite tired of Barbadoes and fried flying fish. + +I selected two midshipmen, Swinburne, and twenty men, and having taken +on board provisions and water for three months, I received my written +instructions from O'Brien, and made sail. We soon discovered that the +masts which the American had sold to the schooner, were much too large +for her; she was considerably overmasted, and we were obliged to be very +careful. I stood for Trinidad, off which island was to be my cruising +ground, and in three weeks had recaptured three West Indiamen, when I +found myself so short of hands, that I was obliged to return to +Barbadoes. I had put four hands into the first vessel, which, with the +Englishmen, prisoners, were sufficient, and, three hands into the two +others; but I was very much embarrassed with my prisoners, who amounted +to nearly double my ship's company remaining on board. Both the +midshipmen I had sent away, and I consulted with Swinburne as to what +was best to be done. + +"Why, the fact is, Mr Simple, Captain O'Brien ought to have given us +more hands; twenty men are little enough for a vessel with a boom +mainsail like the one we have here; and now we have only ten left; but I +suppose he did not expect us to be so lucky, and it's true enough that +he has plenty of work for the ship's company, now that he has to turn +everything in afresh. As for the prisoners, I think we had better run +close in, and give them two of our boats to take them on shore. At all +events, we must be rid of them, and not be obliged to have one eye +aloft, and the other down the hatchway, as we must now." + +This advice corresponded with my own ideas, and I ran in-shore, gave +them the stern boat, and one of the larger ones, which held them all, +and sent them away, leaving only one boat for the schooner, which we +hoisted up in the star-board chess-tree. It fell a dead calm as we sent +away the prisoners; we saw them land and disappear over the rocks, and +thought ourselves well rid of them, as they were twenty-two in number, +most of them Spaniards, and very stout ferocious-looking fellows. It +continued calm during the whole day, much to our annoyance, as I was +very anxious to get away as soon as I could; still I could not help +admiring the beauty of the scenery--the lofty mountains rising abruptly +from the ocean, and towering in the clouds, reflected on the smooth +water, as clear as in a looking-glass, every colour, every tint, +beautifully distinct. The schooner gradually drifted close in-shore, and +we could perceive the rocks at the bottom, many fathoms deep. Not a +breath of wind was to be seen on the surface of the water for several +miles round, although the horizon in the offing showed that there was a +smart breeze outside. + +Night came on, and we still lay becalmed. I gave my orders to Swinburne, +who had the first watch, and retired to my standing bed-place in the +cabin. I was dreaming, and I hardly need say who was the object of my +visions. I thought I was in Eagle Park, sitting down with her under one +of the large chestnut trees, which formed the avenue, when I felt my +shoulder roughly pushed. I started up--"What is the matter? Who's that-- +Swinburne?" + +"Yes, sir. On with your clothes immediately, as we have work on hand, I +expect." And Swinburne left the cabin, and I heard him calling the other +men who were below. I knew that Swinburne would not give a false alarm. +In a minute I was on deck, and was looking at the stern of the schooner. +"What is that, Swinburne?" said I. + +"Silence, sir. Hark! don't you hear them?" + +"Yes," replied I; "the sound of oars." + +"Exactly, sir; depend upon it, those Spaniards have got more help, and +are coming back to take the vessel; they know we have only ten hands on +board." + +By this time the men were all on deck. I directed Swinburne to see all +the muskets loaded, and ran down for my own sword and pistols. The water +was so smooth, and the silence so profound, that Swinburne had heard the +sound of the oars at a considerable distance. Fortunate it was, that I +had such a trusty follower. Another might have slumbered, and the +schooner have been boarded and captured without our being prepared. When +I came on deck again, I spoke to the men, exhorted them to do their +duty, and pointed out to them that these cut-throat villains would +certainly murder us all if we were taken, which I firmly believe would +have been the case. The men declared that they would sell their lives as +dearly as they could. We had twenty muskets, and the same number of +pistols, all of which were now loaded. Our guns were also ready, but of +no use, now that the schooner had not steerage-way. + +The boats were in sight, about a quarter of a mile astern, when +Swinburne said, "There's a cat's-paw flying along the water, Mr Simple; +if we could only have a little wind, how we would laugh at them; but I'm +afraid there's no such luck. Shall we let them know that we are ready?" + +"Let every one of us take two muskets," said I: "when the first boat is +under the counter, take good aim, and discharge into one of the boats; +then seize the other musket, and discharge it at the other boat. After +that we must trust to our cutlasses and pistols; for if they come on, +there will be no time to load again. Keep silence, all of you." + +The boats now came up full of men; but as we remained perfectly quiet, +they pulled up gently, hoping to surprise us. Fortunately, one was a +little in advance of the other; upon which I altered my directions, and +desired my men to fire their second musket into the first boat, as, if +we could disable her, we were an equal match for those in the other. +When the boat was within six yards of the schooner's counter, "Now!" +said I, and all the muskets were discharged at once, and my men cheered. +Several of the oars dropped, and I was sure we had done great execution; +but they were laid hold of by the other men, who had not been pulling, +and again the boat advanced to the counter. + +"Good aim, my lads, this time," cried Swinburne; "the other boat will be +alongside as soon as you have fired. Mr Simple, the schooner has +headway, and there's a strong breeze coming up." + +Again we discharged our ten muskets into the boat, but this time we +waited until the bow-man had hooked on the planeshear with his +boat-hook, and our fire was very effective. I was surprised to find that +the other boat was not on board of us; but a light breeze had come up, +and the schooner glided through the water. Still she was close under our +counter, and would have been aboard in a minute. In the meantime, the +Spaniards who were in the first boat were climbing up the side, and were +repulsed by my men with great success. The breeze freshened, and +Swinburne ran to the helm. I perceived the schooner was going fast +through the water, and the second boat could hardly hold her course. I +ran to where the boat-hook was fixed on the planeshear, and unhooked it; +the boat fell astern, leaving two Spaniards clinging to the side, who +were cut down, and they fell into the water. "Hurrah! all safe!" cried +Swinburne; "and now to punish them." + +The schooner was now darting along at the rate of five miles, with an +increasing breeze. We stood in for two minutes, then tacked, and ran for +the boats. Swinburne steered, and I continued standing in the bows, +surrounded by the rest of the men. "Starboard a little, Swinburne."-- +"Starboard it is." + +"Steady--steady: I see the first boat, she is close under our bows. +Steady--port--port--port a little--port. Look out, my lads, and cut down +all who climb up." + +Crash went the schooner on to the boat, the men in her in vain +endeavouring to escape us. For a second or two she appeared to right, +until her further gunwale was borne down under the water; she turned up, +and the schooner went over her, sending every soul in her to their +account. One man clung on to a rope, and was towed for a few seconds, +but a cutlass divided the rope at the gunwale, and with a faint shriek +he disappeared. The other boat was close to us, and perceived what had +been done. They remained with their oars poised, all ready to pull so as +to evade the schooner. We steered for her, and the schooner was now +running at the rate of seven miles an hour. When close under our bows, +by very dexterously pulling short round with their starboard oars, we +only struck her with our bow; and before she went down many of the +Spaniards had gained the deck, or were clinging to the side of the +vessel. They fought with desperation, but we were too strong for them. +It was only those who had gained the deck which we had to contend with. +The others clung for a time, and, unable to get up the sides, one by one +dropped into the water and went astern. In a minute, those on deck were +lying at our feet, and in a minute more they were tossed overboard after +their companions; not, however, until one of them struck me through the +calf of the leg with his knife as we were lifting him over the gunwale. +I do not mean to say that the Spaniards were not justified in attempting +to take the schooner; but still, as we had liberated them but a few +hours before, we felt that it was unhandsome and treacherous on their +part, and therefore showed them no quarter. There were two of my men +wounded as well as myself, but not severely, which was fortunate, as we +had no surgeon on board, and only about half a yard of a diachylum +plaster in the vessel. + +"Well out of that, sir," said Swinburne, as I limped aft. "By the Lord +Harry! it might have been a _pretty go_." + +Having shaped our course for Barbadoes, I dressed my leg and went down +to sleep. This time I did not dream of Celeste, but fought the Spaniards +over again, thought I was wounded, and awoke with the pain of my leg. + + + + +Chapter LI + +Peter turned out of his command by his vessel turning bottom up--A +cruise on a main-boom, with sharks _en attendant_--Self and crew, with +several flying fish, taken on board a negro boat--Peter regenerates by +putting on a new outward man. + + +We made Barbadoes without any further adventure, and were about ten +miles off the bay, steering with a very light breeze, and I went down +into the cabin, expecting to be at anchor before breakfast the next +morning. It was just daylight, when I found myself thrown out of my +bed-place on the deck, on the other side of the cabin, and heard the +rushing of water. I sprang up, I knew the schooner was on her beam ends, +and gained the deck. I was correct in my supposition: she had been upset +by what is called a white squall, and in two minutes would be down. All +the men were up on deck, some dressed, others, like myself, in their +shirts. Swinburne was aft; he had an axe in his hand, cutting away the +rigging of the main-boom. I saw what he was about; I seized another, and +disengaged the jaw-rope and small gear about the mast. We had no other +chance; our boat was under the water, being hoisted up on the side to +leeward. All this, however, was but the work of two minutes; and I could +not help observing by what trifles lives are lost or saved. Had the axe +not been fortunately at the capstern, I should not have been able to cut +the jaw-rope, Swinburne would not have had time, and the main-boom would +have gone down with the schooner. Fortunately we had cleared it; the +schooner filled, righted a little, and then sank, dragging us and the +main-boom for a few seconds down in its vortex, and then we rose to the +surface. + +The squall still continued, but the water was smooth. It soon passed +over, and again it was nearly calm. I counted the men clinging to the +boom, and found that they were all there. Swinburne was next to me. He +was holding with one hand, while with the other he felt in his pocket +for a quid of tobacco, which he thrust into his cheek. "I wasn't on deck +at the time, Mr Simple," said he, "or this wouldn't have happened. I had +just been relieved, and I told Collins to look out sharp for squalls. I +only mention it, that if you are saved, and I am not, you mayn't think I +was neglectful of my duty. We arn't far from the land, but still we are +more likely to fall in with a shark than a friend, I'm thinking." + +These, indeed, had been my thoughts, but I had concealed them; but after +Swinburne had mentioned the shark, I very often looked along the water +for their fins, and down below to see if they were coming up to tear us +to pieces. It was a dreadful feeling. + +"It was not your fault, Swinburne, I am sure. I ought to have relieved +you myself, but I kept the first watch, and was tired. We must put our +trust in God; perhaps, we may yet be spared." + +It was now almost calm, and the sun had mounted in the heavens: the +scorching rays were intolerable upon our heads, for we had not the +defence of hats. I felt my brain on fire, and was inclined to drop into +the water, to screen myself from the intolerable heat. As the day +advanced so did our sufferings increase. It was a dead calm, the sun +perpendicular over us, actually burning that part of our bodies which +rose clear of the water. I could have welcomed even a shark to relieve +me of my torment; but I thought of Celeste, and I clung to life. Towards +the afternoon I felt sick and dizzy; my resolution failed me; my vision +was imperfect; but I was roused by Swinburne, who cried out, "A boat, by +all that's gracious! Hang on a little longer, my men, and you are +saved." + +It was a boat full of negroes, who had come out to catch flying-fish. +They had perceived the spar on the water, and hastened to secure the +prize. They dragged us all in, gave us water, which appeared like +nectar, and restored us to our fleeting senses. They made fast the boom, +and towed it in-shore. We had not been ten minutes on our way, when +Swinburne pointed to the fin of a large shark above the water. "Look +there, Mr Simple." I shuddered, and made no answer; but I thanked God in +my heart. + +In two hours we were landed, but were too ill to walk. We were carried +up to the hospital, bled, and put into cots. I had a brain fever, which +lasted six or seven days, during which O'Brien never left my bedside. My +head was shaved, all the skin came off my face like a mask, as well as +off my back and shoulders. We were put into baths of brandy and water, +and in three weeks were all recovered. + +"That was but an unlucky schooner from beginning to end," observed +O'Brien, after I had narrated the events of my cruise. "We had a bad +beginning with her, and we had a bad ending. She's gone to the bottom, +and the devil go with her; however, all's well that ends well, and, +Peter, you're worth a dozen dead men yet; but you occasion me a great +deal of trouble and anxiety, that's the truth of it, and I doubt if I +shall ever rear you, after all." + +I returned to my duty on board of the brig, which was now nearly ready +for sea. One morning O'Brien came on board and said, "Peter, I've a +piece of news for you. Our gunner is appointed to the _Araxes_, and the +admiral has given me a gunner's warrant for old Swinburne. Send for him +on deck." + +Swinburne was summoned, and came rolling up the hatchway. "Swinburne," +said O'Brien, "you have done your duty well, and you are now gunner of +the _Rattlesnake_. Here is your warrant, and I've great pleasure in +getting it for you." + +Swinburne turned the quid in his cheek, and then replied, "May I be so +bold as to ax, Captain O'Brien, whether I must wear one of them long +tog, swallow-tailed coats--because, if so, I'd prefer being a +quarter-master?" + +"A gunner may wear a jacket, Swinburne, if he likes; when you go on +shore you may bend the swallow-tail, if you please." + +"Well, sir, then if that's the case, I'll take the warrant, because I +know it will please the old woman." + +So saying, Swinburne hitched up his trousers, and went down below. I may +here observe that Swinburne kept his round jacket until our arrival in +England, when the "old woman," his wife, who thought her dignity at +stake, soon made him ship the swallow-tail; and, after it was once on, +Swinburne took a fancy to it, and always wore it, except when he was at +sea. + +The same evening, as I was coming with O'Brien from the governor's +house, where I had dined, we passed a building, lighted up. "What can +that be?" observed O'Brien; "not a dignity ball--there is no music." Our +curiosity induced us to enter, and we found it to be fitted up as a +temporary chapel, filled with black and coloured people, who were ranged +on the forms, and waiting for the preacher. + +"It is a Methodist meeting," said I to O'Brien. + +"Never mind," said he, "let us hear what is going on." + +In a moment afterwards the pulpit was filled, not by a white man, as we +had anticipated, but by a tall negro. He was dressed in black, and his +hair, which it was impossible to comb down straight, was plaited into +fifty little tails, well tied at the end of them, like you sometimes see +the mane of a horse; this produced a somewhat more clerical appearance. +His throat was open and collar laid back; the wristbands of his shirt +very large and white, and he flourished a white cambric handkerchief. + +"What a dandy he is!" whispered O'Brien. + +I thought it almost too absurd when he said he would take the liberty to +praise God in the 17th hymn, and beg all the company to join chorus. He +then gave out the stanzas in the most strange pronunciation. + + "Gentle Jesus, God um lub," &c. + +When the hymn was finished, which was sung by the whole congregation, in +the most delightful discord,--everyone chose his own key--he gave an +extempore prayer, which was most unfortunately incomprehensible, and +then commenced his discourse, which was on _Faith_. I shall omit the +head and front of his offending, which would, perhaps, hardly be +gratifying although ludicrous. He reminded me of a monkey imitating a +man; but what amused me most was his finale, in which he told his +audience that there could be no faith without charity. For a little +while he descanted upon this generally, and at last became personal. His +words were, as well as I can recollect, nearly as follows:-- + +"And now you see, my dear bredren, how unpossible to go to heaven, with +all the faith in the world, without charity. Charity mean, give away. +Suppose you no give--you no ab charity; suppose you no ab charity--you +no ab faith; suppose you no ab faith--you all go to hell and be damned. +Now den, let me see if you ab charity. Here, you see, I come to save all +your soul from hell-fire; and hell-fire dam hot, I can tell you. Dere +you all burn like coal, till you turn white powder, and den burn on till +you come black again; and so you go on, burn, burn, sometime white, +sometime black, for ebber and ebber. The debil never allow Sangoree to +cool tongue. No, no cocoa-nut milk,--not a lilly drap of water; debil +see you damned first. Suppose you ask, he poke um fire, and laugh. Well, +den, ab you charity? No, you ab not. You, Quashee, how you dare look me +in the face? You keep shop--you sell egg--you sell yam--you sell pepper +hot--but when you give to me? Eh! nebber, so help me God. Suppose you no +send--you no ab charity, and you go to hell. You black Sambo," continued +he, pointing to a man in the corner, "ab very fine boat, go out all day, +catch fly-fish, bring um back, fry um, and sell for money; but when you +send to me? not one little fish ebber find way to my mouth. What I tell +you 'bout Peter and 'postles--all fishermen; good men, give 'way to +poor. Sambo, you no ab charity; and 'spose you no repent this week, and +send one very fine fish in plantain leaf, you go to hell, and burn for +ebber and ebber. Eh! so you will run away, Massa Johnson," cried he out +to another, who was edging to the door; "but you no run away from +hell-fire: when debil catch you, he hold dam tight. You know you kill +sheep and goat ebery day. You send bell ring all 'bout town for people +to come buy; but when you send to me? nebber, 'cept once, you gave me +lilly bit of libber. That not do, Massa Johnson; you no ab charity; and +suppose you no send me sheep's head to-morrow morning, dam you libber, +that's all. I see many more, but I see um all very sorry, and dat they +mean to sin no more, so dis time I let um off, and say noting about it, +because I know plenty of plantain and banana (pointing to one) and +oranges and shaddock (pointing to another), and salt fish (pointing to a +fourth), and ginger-pop and spruce beer (pointing to a fifth), and a +straw hat (pointing to a sixth), and eberything else, come to my house +to-morrow. So I say no more 'bout it; I see you all very sorry--you only +forget. You all ab charity, and all ab faith; so now, my dear bredren, +we go down on our knees, and thank God for all this, and more especially +that I save all your souls from going to the debil, who run about +Barbadoes like one roaring lion, seeking what he may lay hold of, and +cram into his dam fiery jaw." + +"That will do, Peter," said O'Brien; "we have the cream of it, I think." + +We left the house, and walked down to the boat. "Surely, O'Brien," said +I, "this should not be permitted?" + +"He's no worse than his neighbours," replied O'Brien, "and perhaps does +less harm. I admire the rascal's ingenuity; he gave his flock what, in +Ireland, we should call a pretty broad hint." + +"Yes, there was no mistaking him: but is he a licensed preacher?" + +"Very little licence in his preaching, I take it; no, I suppose he has +had a _call_." + +"A call!--what do you mean?" + +"I mean that he wants to fill his belly. Hunger is a call of nature, +Peter." + +"He seems to want a good many things, if we were to judge by his +catalogue; what a pity it is that these poor people are not better +instructed." + +"That they never will be, Peter, while there is what may be called free +trade in religion." + +"You speak like a Catholic, O'Brien." + +"I am one," replied he. And here our conversation ended, for we were +close to the boat, which was waiting for us on the beach. + +The next day a man-of-war brig arrived from England, bringing letters +for the squadron on the station. I had two from my sister Ellen which +made me very uncomfortable. She stated that my father had seen my uncle, +Lord Privilege, and had had high words with him; indeed, as far as she +could ascertain of the facts, my father had struck my uncle, and had +been turned out of the house by the servants; that he had returned in a +state of great excitement, and was very ill ever since; that there was a +great deal of talk in the neighbourhood on the subject, people generally +highly blaming my father's conduct, thinking that he was deranged in his +intellect--a supposition very much encouraged by my uncle. She again +expressed her hopes of my speedy return. I had now been absent nearly +three years, and she had been so uncomfortable that she felt as if it +had been at least ten. O'Brien also received a letter from Father +M'Grath, which I shall lay before the reader:-- + + "MY DEAR SON,--Long life, and all the blessings of all the saints be + upon you now and for evermore! Amen. And may you live to be married, + and may I dance at your wedding, and may you never want children, and + may they grow up as handsome as their father and their mother (whoever + she may hereafter be), and may you die of a good old age, and in the + true faith, and be waked handsomely, as your own father was last + Friday s'ennight, seeing as how he took it into his head to leave this + world for a better. It was a very dacent funeral-procession, my dear + Terence, and your father must have been delighted to see himself so + well attinded. No man ever made a more handsome corpse, considering + how old, and thin, and haggard he had grown of late, and how gray his + hair had turned. He held the nosegay between his fingers, across his + breast as natural as life, and reminded us all of the blessed saint, + Pope Gregory, who was called to glory some hundred years before either + you or I was born. + + "Your mother's quite comfortable; and there she sits in her ould + chair, rocking to and fro all day long, and never speaking a word to + nobody, thinking about heaven, I dare to say; which is just what she + ought to do, seeing that she stands a very pretty chance of going + there in the course of a month or so. Divil a word has she ever said + since your father's departure, but then she screamed and yelled enough + to last for seven years at the least. She screamed away all her senses + anyhow, for she has done nothing since but cough, cough, and fumble at + her pater-nosters--a very blessed way to pass the remainder of her + days, seeing that I expect her to drop every minute like an over-ripe + sleepy pear. So don't think any more about her, my son, for without + you are back in a jiffy, her body will be laid in consecrated ground, + and her happy, blessed soul in purgatory. _Pax vobiscum._ Amen! amen! + + "And now having disposed of your father and your mother so much to + your satisfaction, I'll just tell you that Ella's mother died in the + convent at Dieppe, but whether she kept her secret or not I do not + know; but this I do know, that if she didn't relieve her soul by + confession, she's damned to all eternity. Thanks be to God for all his + mercies. Amen! Ella Flanagan is still alive, and, for a nun, is as + well as can be expected. I find that she knows nothing at all about + the matter of the exchanging the genders of the babbies--only that her + mother was on oath to Father M'Dermot, who ought to be hanged, drawn, + and quartered instead of those poor fellows whom the government called + rebels, but who were no more rebels than Father M'Grath himself, + who'll uphold the Pretender, as they call our true Catholic king, as + long as there's life in his body or a drop of whiskey left in ould + Ireland to drink his health wid.-- + + "Talking about Father M'Dermot puts me in mind that the bishop has not + yet decided our little bit of a dispute, saying that he must take time + to think about it. Now, considering that it's just three years since + the row took place, the old gentleman must be a very slow thinker not + to have found out by this time that I was in the right, and that + Father M'Dermot, the baste, is not good enough to be hanged. + + "Your two married sisters are steady and diligent young women, having + each made three children since you last saw them. Fine boys, every + mother's son of them, with elegant spacious features, and famous + mouths for taking in whole potatoes. By the powers, but the offsets of + the tree of the O'Briens begin to make a noise in the land, anyhow, as + you would say if you only heard them roaring for their bit of suppers. + + "And now, my dear son Terence, the real purport of this letter, which + is just to put to your soul's conscience, as a dutiful son, whether + you ought not to send me a small matter of money to save your poor + father's soul from pain and anguish--for it's no joke that being in + purgatory, I can tell you; and you wouldn't care how soon you were + tripped out of it yourself. I only wish you had but your little toe in + it, and then you'd burn with impatience to have it out again. But + you're a dutiful son, so I'll say no more about it--a nod's as good as + a wink to a blind horse. + + "When your mother goes, which, with the blessing of God, will be in a + very little while, seeing that she has only to follow her senses, + which are gone already, I'll take upon myself to sell everything, as + worldly goods and chattels are of no use to dead people; and I have no + doubt but that, what with the furniture and the two cows, and the + pigs, and the crops in the ground, there will be enough to save her + soul from the flames, and bury her dacently into the bargain. However, + as you are the heir-at-law, seeing that the property is all your own, + I'll keep a debtor and creditor account of the whole; and should there + be any over, I'll use it all out in masses, so as to send her up to + heaven by express; and if there's not sufficient, she must remain + where she is till you come back and make up the deficiency. In the + meanwhile I am your loving father in the faith, + + "URTAGH M'GRATH." + + + + +Chapter LII + +Good sense in Swinburne--No man a hero to his valet de chambre, or a +prophet in his own country--O'Brien takes a step by strategy--O'Brien +parts with his friend, and Peter's star no longer in the ascendant. + + +O'Brien was sorry for the death of his father, but he could not feel as +most people would have done, as his father had certainly never been a +father to him. He was sent to sea to be got rid of, and ever since he +had been there, had been the chief support of his family; his father was +very fond of whiskey, and not very fond of exertion. He was too proud of +the true Milesian blood in his veins to do anything to support himself, +but not too proud to live upon his son's hard-earned gains. For his +mother O'Brien felt very much; she had always been kind and +affectionate, and was very fond of him. Sailors, however, are so +estranged from their families when they have been long in their +profession and so accustomed to vicissitudes, that no grief for the loss +of a relation lasts very long, and in a week O'Brien had recovered his +usual spirits, when a vessel brought us the intelligence that a French +squadron had been seen off St Domingo. This put us all on the _qui +vive_. O'Brien was sent for by the admiral, and ordered to hasten his +brig for sea with all possible despatch, as he was to proceed with +despatches to England forthwith. In three days we were reported ready, +received our orders, and at eight o'clock in the evening made sail from +Carlisle Bay. "Well, Mr Swinburne," said I, "how do you like your new +situation?" + +"Why, Mr Simple, I like it well enough; and it's not disagreeable to be +an officer, and sit in your own cabin; but still I feel that I should +get on better if I were in another ship. I've been hail-fellow well met +with the ship's company so long, that I can't top the officer over them, +and we can't get the duty done as smart as I could wish: and then at +night I find it very lonely stuck up in my cabin like a parson's clerk, +and nobody to talk to; for the other warrants are particular, and say +that I'm only acting, and may not be confirmed, so they hold aloof. I +don't much like being answerable for all that lot of gunpowder--it's +queer stuff to handle." + +"Very true, Swinburne; but still, if there were no responsibility, we +should require no officers. You recollect that you are now provided for +life, and will have half-pay." + +"That's what made me bite, Mr Simple. I thought of the old woman, and +how comfortable it would make her in her old age; and so, d'ye see, I +sacrificed myself." + +"How long have you been married, Swinburne?" + +"Ever since Christmas '94. I wasn't going to be hooked carelessly, so I +nibbled afore I took the bait. Had four years' trial of her first, and, +finding that she had plenty of ballast, I sailed her as my own." + +"How do you mean by plenty of ballast?" + +"I don't mean, Mr Simple, a broad bow and square hulk. You know very +well that if a vessel has not ballast, she's bottom up in no time. Now, +what keeps a woman stiff under her canvas is her modesty." + +"Very true; but it's a rare commodity on the beach." + +"And why, Mr Simple? because liquor is more valued. Many a good man has +found it to be his bane; and as for a woman, when once she takes to it, +she's like a ship without a rudder, and goes right before the wind to +the devil. Not that I think a man ought not to take a nor-wester or two, +when he can get them. Rum was not given by God Almighty only to make the +niggers dance, but to make all our hearts glad; neither do I see why a +woman is to stand out neither; what's good for Jack can't hurt Poll; +only there is a medium, as they say, in all things, and half-an-half is +quite strong enough." + +"I should think it was," replied I, laughing. + +"But don't be letting me prevent you from keeping a look-out, Mr +Simple.--You, Hoskins, you're half a point off the wind. Luff you may.-- +I think, Mr Simple, that Captain O'Brien didn't pick out the best man, +when he made Tom Alsop a quarter-master in my place." + +"Why, he is a very steady, good man, Swinburne." + +"Yes, so he is; but he has natural defects, which shouldn't be +overlooked. I doubt if he can see so far as the head of the mainsail." + +"I was not aware of that." + +"No, but I was. Alsop wants to sarve out his time for his pension, and +when he has sarved, you see if, when the surgeons examine him, they +don't invalid him, as blind as a bat. I should like to have him as +gunner's mate, and that's just what he's fit for. But, Mr Simple, I +think we shall have some bad weather. The moon looks greasy, and the +stars want snuffing. You'll have two reefs in the topsails afore +morning. There's five bells striking. Now I'll turn in; if I didn't keep +half the first, and half the morning watch, I shouldn't sleep all the +night. I miss my regular watch very much, Mr Simple--habit's everything +--and I don't much fancy a standing bed-place, it's so large, and I feel +so cold of my sides. Nothing like a hammock, after all. Good-night, Mr +Simple." + +Our orders were to proceed with all _possible_ despatch; and O'Brien +carried on day and night, generally remaining up himself till one or two +o'clock in the morning. We had very favourable weather, and in a little +more than a month we passed the Lizard. The wind being fair, we passed +Plymouth, ran up Channel, and anchored at Spithead. + +After calling upon the admiral, O'Brien set off for town with his +despatches, and left me in command of the ship. In three days I received +a letter from him, informing me that he had seen the First Lord, who had +asked him a great many questions concerning the station he had quitted; +that he had also complimented O'Brien on his services. "On that hint I +spake," continued O'Brien; "I ventured to insinuate to his lordship, +that I had hoped I had earned my promotion; and as there is nothing like +_quartering on the enemy_, I observed that I had not applied to Lord +Privilege, as I considered my services would have been sufficient, +without any application on his part. His lordship returned a very +gracious answer: said that my Lord Privilege was a great ally of his, +and very friendly to the government; and inquired when I was going to +see him. I replied, that I certainly should not pay my respects to his +lordship at present, unless there was occasion for it, as I must take a +more favourable opportunity. So I hope that good may come from the great +lord's error, which, of course, I shall not correct, as I feel I deserve +my promotion--and you know, Peter, if you can't gain it by _hook_, you +must by _crook_." He then concluded his letter; but there was a +postscript as follows: + +"Wish me joy, my dear Peter. I have this moment received a letter from +the private secretary, to say that I am _posted_, and appointed to the +_Semiramis_ frigate, about to set sail for the East Indies. She is all +ready to start; and now I must try to get you with me, of which I have +no doubt; as, although her officers have been long appointed there will +be little difficulty of success, when I mention your relationship to +Lord Privilege, and while they remain in error as to his taking an +interest in my behalf." I rejoiced at O'Brien's good fortune. His +promotion I had considered certain, as his services had entitled him to +it; but the command of so fine a frigate must have been given upon the +supposition that it would be agreeable to my uncle, who was not only a +prime supporter, but a very useful member, of the Tory Government. I +could not help laughing to myself, at the idea of O'Brien obtaining his +wishes from the influence of a person who probably detested him as much +as one man could detest another; and I impatiently waited for O'Brien's +next letter, by which I hoped to find myself appointed to the +_Semiramis_; but a sad _contretemps_ took place. + +O'Brien did not write; but came down two days afterwards, hastened on +board the _Semiramis_, read his commission, and assumed the command +before even he had seen me; he then sent his gig on board of the +_Rattlesnake_ to desire me to come to him directly. I did so, and we +went down into the cabin of the frigate. "Peter," said he, "I was +obliged to hasten down and read myself captain of this ship, as I am in +fear that things are not going on well. I had called to pay my respects +at the Admiralty, previous to joining, and was kicking my heels in the +waiting-room, when who should walk up the passage, as if he were a +captain on his own quarter-deck, but your uncle, Lord Privilege. His eye +met mine--he recognised me immediately--and, if it did not flash fire, +it did something very like it. He asked a few questions of one of the +porters, and was giving his card, when my name was called for. I passed +him, and up I went to the First Lord, thanked him for the frigate; and +having received a great many compliments upon my exertions in the West +India station, made my bow and retired. I had intended to have requested +your appointment, but I knew that your name would bring up Lord +Privilege's; and, moreover, your uncle's card was brought up and laid +upon the table while I was sitting there. The First Lord, I presume, +thought that his lordship was come to thank him for his kindness to me, +which only made him more civil. I made my bow and went down, when I met +the eye of Lord Privilege; who looked daggers at me as he walked up +stairs--for, of course, he was admitted immediately after my audience +was finished. Instead of waiting to hear the result of the explanation, +I took a post-chaise, and have come down here as fast as four horses can +bring me, and have read myself in--for, Peter, I feel sure, that if not +on board, my commission will be cancelled; and I know that if once in +command, as I am now, I can call for a court-martial, to clear my +character if I am superseded. I know that the Admiralty _can_ do +anything, but still they will be cautious in departing from the rules of +the service, to please even Lord Privilege. I looked up at the sky as +soon as I left the Admiralty portico, and was glad to see that the +weather was so thick, and the telegraph not at work, or I might have +been too late. Now I'll go on shore, and report myself to the admiral, +as having taken the command of the _Semiramis_." + +O'Brien went on shore to report himself, was well received by the +admiral, who informed him, that if he had any arrangements to make, he +could not be too soon, as he should not be surprised if his sailing +orders came down the next morning. This was very annoying, as I could +not see how I should be able to join O'Brien's ship, even if I could +effect an exchange, in so short a time. I therefore hastened on board of +the _Semiramis_, and applied to the officers to know if any of them were +willing to exchange into the _Rattlesnake_; but, although they did not +much like going to the East Indies, they would not exchange into a brig, +and I returned disappointed. The next morning, the admiral sent for +O'Brien, and told him confidentially, for he was the same admiral who +had received O'Brien when he had escaped from prison with me, and was +very kind to him, that there was some _hitch_ about his having the +_Semiramis_, and that orders had come down to pay her off, all standing, +and examine her bottom, if Captain O'Brien had not joined her. "Do you +understand what this means?" said the admiral, who was anxious to know +the reason. + +O'Brien answered frankly, that Lord Privilege, by whose interest he had +obtained his former command, was displeased with him; and that, as he +saw him go up to the First Lord, he had no doubt but that his lordship +had said something to his disadvantage, as he was a very vindictive man. + +"Well," said the admiral, "it's lucky that you have taken the command, +as they cannot well displace you, or send her into dock without a +survey, and upon your representation." + +And so it proved; the First Lord, when he found that O'Brien had joined, +took no further steps, but allowed the frigate to proceed to her +intended destination. But all chance of my sailing with him was done +away, and now, for the first time, I had to part with O'Brien. I +remained with him the whole time that I could be spared from my duties. +O'Brien was very much annoyed, but there was no help. "Never mind, +Peter," said he, "I've been thinking that perhaps it's all for the best. +You will see more of the world, and be no longer in leading-strings. You +are now a fine man grown up, big enough and ugly enough, as they say, to +take care of yourself. We shall meet again; and if we don't, why then, +God bless you, my boy, and don't forget O'Brien." + +Three days afterwards, O'Brien's orders came down. I accompanied him on +board; and it was not until the ship was under weigh, and running +towards the Needles with a fair wind, that I shook hands with him, and +shoved off. Parting with O'Brien was a heavy blow to me; but I little +knew how much I was to suffer before I saw him again. + + + + +Chapter LIII + +I am pleased with my new captain--Obtain leave to go home--Find my +father afflicted with a very strange disease, and prove myself a very +good doctor, although the disorder always breaks out in a fresh place. + + +The day after O'Brien had sailed for the East Indies, the dockyard men +came on board to survey the brig, and she was found so defective as to +be ordered into dock. I had received letters from my sister, who was +overjoyed at the intelligence of my safe return, and the anticipation of +seeing me. The accounts of my father were, however, very unsatisfactory. +My sister wrote, that disappointment and anxiety had had such an effect +upon him, that he was deranged in his intellects. Our new captain came +down to join us. He was a very young man, and had never before commanded +a ship. His character as lieutenant was well known, and not very +satisfactory, being that of a harsh, unpleasant officer; but, as he had +never been first lieutenant, it was impossible to say what he might +prove when in command of a ship. Still we were a little anxious about +it, and severely regretted the loss of O'Brien. He came on board the +hulk to which the ship's company's had been turned over, and read his +commission. He proved to be all affability, condescension, and +good-nature. To me, he was particularly polite, stating that he should +not interfere with me in carrying on the duty, as I must be so well +acquainted with the ship's company. We thought that those who gave us +the information must have been prejudiced or mistaken in his character. +During the half hour that he remained on board, I stated, that now that +the brig was in dock, I should like very much to have an opportunity of +seeing my friends, if he would sanction my asking for leave. To this he +cheerfully consented, adding, that he would extend it upon his own +responsibility. My letter to the Admiralty was therefore forwarded +through him, and was answered in the affirmative. The day afterwards, I +set off by the coach, and once more embraced my dear sister. + +After the first congratulations were over, I inquired about my father; +she replied, that he was so wild that nobody could manage him. That he +was melancholy and irritable at the same time, and was certainly +deranged, fancying himself to be made of various substances, or to be in +a certain trade or capacity. That he generally remained in this way four +or five days, when he went to bed, and slept for twenty-four hours, or +more, and awoke with some new strange imagination in his head. His +language was violent, but that, in other respects, he seemed to be more +afraid of other people, than inclined to be mischievous, and that every +day he was getting more strange and ridiculous. He had now just risen +from one of his long naps, and was in his study; that before he had +fallen asleep he had fancied himself to be a carpenter, and had sawed +and chopped up several articles of furniture in the house. + +I quitted my sister to see my father, whom I found in his easy-chair. I +was much shocked at his appearance. He was thin and haggard, his eye was +wild, and he remained with his mouth constantly open. A sick-nurse, who +had been hired by my sister, was standing by him. + +"Pish, pish, pish, pish!" cried my father; "what can you, a stupid old +woman, know about my inside? I tell you the gas is generating fast, and +even now I can hardly keep on my chair. I'm lifting--lifting now; and if +you don't tie me down with cords, I shall go up like a balloon." + +"Indeed, sir," replied the woman, "it's only the wind in your stomach. +You'll break it off directly." + +"It's inflammable gas, you old Hecate!--I know it is. Tell me, will you +get a cord, or will you not? Hah! who's that--Peter? Why you've dropped +from the clouds, just in time to see me mount up to them." + +"I hope you feel yourself better, sir," said I. + +"I feel myself a great deal lighter every minute. Get a cord, Peter, and +tie me to the leg of the table." + +I tried to persuade him that he was under a mistake; but it was useless. +He became excessively violent, and said I wished him in heaven. As I had +heard that it was better to humour people afflicted with +hypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my father +laboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that if +we could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a good plan." + +"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully. + +"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of course +draw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth." + +"My dear Peter, you have saved my life: be quick, though, or I shall go +up, right through the ceiling." + +Fortunately, there was an instrument of that description in the house. I +applied it to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air, +and re-applied it. In two minutes he pronounced himself better, and I +left the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerably +pacified. I returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had passed; +but it was no source of mirth to us, although, had it happened to an +indifferent person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her, +as I must soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by my +father's unfortunate malady, was very distressing. But we entered into a +long conversation, in which I recounted the adventures that had taken +place since I had left her, and for the time forgot our source of +annoyance and regret. For three days my father insisted upon the old +woman pumping the gas out of his body; after that, he again fell into +one of his sleeps, which lasted nearly thirty hours. + +When he arose, I went again to see him. It was eight o'clock in the +evening, and I entered with a candle. "Take it away--quick, take it +away; put it out carefully." + +"Why, what's the matter, sir?" + +"Don't come near me, if you love me; don't come near me. Put it out, I +say--put it out." + +I obeyed his orders, and then asked him the reason. "Reason!" said he, +now that we were in the dark; "can't you see?" + +"No, father; I can see nothing in the dark." + +"Well, then, Peter, I'm a magazine, full of gunpowder; the least spark +in the world, and I am blown up. Consider the danger. You surely would +not be the destruction of your father, Peter?" and the poor old +gentleman burst into tears, and wept like a child. + +I knew that it was in vain to reason with him. "My dear father," said I, +"on board ship, when there is any danger of this kind, we always _float_ +the magazine. Now, if you were to drink a good deal of water, the powder +would be spoiled, and there would be no danger." My father was satisfied +with my proposal, and drank a tumbler of water every half-hour, which +the old nurse was obliged to supply as fast as he called for it; and +this satisfied him for three or four days, and I was again left to the +company of my dear Ellen, when my father again fell into his stupor, and +we wondered what would be his next fancy. I was hastily summoned by the +nurse, and found my poor father lying in bed, and breathing in a very +strange manner. "What is the matter, my dear sir?" inquired I. + +"Why don't you see what is the matter? How is a poor little infant, just +born, to live, unless its mother is near to suckle it, and take care of +it?" + +"Indeed, sir, do you mean to say that you are just born?" + +"To be sure I do. I'm dying for the breast." + +This was almost too absurd; but I gravely observed, "That it was all +very true, but unfortunately his mother had died in childbirth, and the +only remedy was to bring him up by hand." + +He agreed with me. I desired the nurse to make some gruel with brandy, +and feed him; which she did, and he took the gruel just as if he were a +baby. I was about to wish him goodnight, when he beckoned to me, and +said, "Peter, she hasn't changed my napkin." This was too much, and I +could not help laughing. I told the nurse what he said, and she replied, +"Lord bless you, sir, what matter? if the old gentleman takes a fancy, +why not indulge him? I'll fetch the kitchen table-cloth." This fit +lasted about six days; for he went to sleep, because a baby always slept +much: and I was in hopes it would last much longer: but he again went +off into his lethargic fit, and, after a long sleep, awoke with a new +fancy. My time had nearly expired, and I had written to my new captain, +requesting an extension of leave, but I received an answer stating that +it could not be granted, and requesting me to join the brig immediately. +I was rather surprised at this, but of course was compelled to obey; +and, embracing my dear sister once more, set off for Portsmouth. I +advised her to humour my father, and this advice she followed; but his +fancies were such, occasionally, as would have puzzled the most +inventive genius to combat, or to find the remedy which he might +acknowledge to be requisite. His health became certainly worse and +worse, and his constitution was evidently destroyed by a slow, +undermining, bodily and mental fever. The situation of my poor sister +was very distressing; and I quitted her with melancholy forebodings. + +I ought here to observe that I received all my prize-money, amounting to +L1560, a large sum for a lieutenant. I put it into the funds, and gave a +power of attorney to Ellen, requesting her to use it as her own. We +consulted as to what she should do if my father should die, and agreed +that all his debts, which we knew to amount to three or four hundred +pounds, should be paid, and that she should manage how she could upon +what was left of my father's property, and the interest of my +prize-money. + + + + +Chapter LIV + +We receive our sailing orders, and orders of every description--A +quarter-deck conversation--Listeners never hear any good of themselves. + + +When I arrived at Portsmouth, I reported myself to the captain, who +lived at the hotel. I was ushered into his room to wait for him, as he +was dressing to dine with the admiral. My eyes naturally turned to what +lay on the table, merely from the feeling which one has to pass away the +time, not from curiosity; and I was much surprised to see a pile of +letters, the uppermost of which was franked by Lord Privilege. This, +however, might be merely accidental; but my curiosity was excited, and I +lifted up the letter, and found that the second, the third, and indeed +at least ten of these were franked by my uncle. I could not imagine how +there could be any intimacy between him and my uncle, and was reflecting +upon it when Captain Hawkins, for that was his name, entered the room. +He was very kind and civil, apologized for not being able to extend my +leave, which, he said, was because he had consulted the admiral, who +would not sanction the absence of the first lieutenant, and had very +peremptorily desired he would recall me immediately. I was satisfied: he +shook my hand, and we parted. On my arrival on board the hulk, for the +brig was still in dock, I was warmly received by my messmates. They told +me that the captain had, generally speaking, been very civil, but that, +occasionally, the marks of the cloven foot appeared. + +"Webster," said I, to the second lieutenant, "do you know anything about +his family or connections?" + +"It is a question I have asked of those who have sailed with him, and +they all say that he never speaks of his own family, but very often +boasts of his intimacy with the nobility. Some say that he is a +_bye-blow_ of some great man." + +I reflected very much upon this, and connecting it with the numerous +franks of Lord Privilege, which I saw on the table, had my misgivings; +but then I knew that I could do my duty, and had no reason to fear any +man. I resolved, in my own mind, to be very correct, and put it out of +the power of any one to lay hold of me, and then dismissed the subject. +The brig was repaired and out of dock, and for some days I was very busy +getting her ready for sea. I never quitted her; in fact, I had no wish. +I never had any taste for bad company and midnight orgies, and I had no +acquaintance with the respectable portion of the inhabitants of +Portsmouth. At last the ship's company were removed into the brig: we +went out of harbour, and anchored at Spithead. + +Captain Hawkins came on board and gave me an order-book, saying, "Mr +Simple, I have a great objection to written orders, as I consider that +the articles of war are quite sufficient to regulate any ship. Still, a +captain is in a very responsible situation, and if any accident occurs +he is held amenable. I therefore have framed a few orders of my own for +the interior discipline of the vessel, which may probably save me +harmless, in case of being _hauled over the coals_; but not with any +wish that they should interfere with the comforts of the officers, only +to guard against any mischance, of which the _onus_ may fall upon +myself." + +I received the order-book, and the captain went ashore. When I went down +into the gun-room, to look through it, I at once perceived that if +rigidly conformed to, every officer in the ship would be rendered +uncomfortable; and if not conformed to, I should be the party that was +answerable. I showed it to Webster, who agreed with me, and gave it as +his opinion that the captain's good nature and amiability were all a +blind, and that he was intending to lay hold of us as soon as it was in +his power. I therefore called all the officers together, and told them +my opinion. Webster supported me, and it was unanimously agreed that the +orders should be obeyed, although not without remonstrance. The major +part of the orders, however, only referred to the time that the brig was +in harbour; and, as we were about to proceed to sea, it was hardly worth +while saying anything at present. The orders for the sailing of the brig +came down, and by the same post I received a letter from my sister +Ellen, stating that they had heard from Captain Fielding, who had +immediately written to Bombay, where the regiment was stationed, and had +received an answer, informing him that there was no married man in the +regiment of the name of Sullivan, and no woman who had followed that +regiment of that name. This at once put an end to all our researches +after the wet-nurse, who had been confined in my uncle's house. Where +she had been sent, it was of course impossible to say; but I gave up all +chance of discovering my uncle's treachery; and, as I thought of +Celeste, sighed at the little hope I had of ever being united to her. I +wrote a long letter to O'Brien, and the next day we sailed for our +station in the North Sea. + +The captain added a night order-book to the other, and sent it up every +evening, to be returned in the morning, with the signature of every +officer of the night watches. He also required all our signatures to his +general order-book, that we might not say we had not read them. I had +the first watch, when Swinburne came up to me. "Well, Mr Simple, I do +not think we have made much by our exchange of captains; and I have a +shrewd suspicion we shall have squalls ere long." + +"We must not judge too hastily, Swinburne," replied I. + +"No, no--I don't say that we should; but still, one must go a little by +looks in the world, and I'm sure his looks wouldn't help him much. He's +just like a winter's day, short and dirty; and he walks the deck as if +planks were not good enough for his feet. Mr Williams says, he looks as +if he were 'big with the fate of Cato and of Rome:' what that means, I +don't know--some joke, I suppose, for the youngsters are always joking. +Were you ever up the Baltic, Mr Simple? Now I think of it, I know you +never were. I've seen some tight work up there with the gun-boats; and +so we should now with Captain O'Brien; but as for this little man, I've +an idea 'twill be more talk than work." + +"You appear to have taken a great dislike to the captain, Swinburne. I +do not know whether, as first lieutenant, I ought to listen to you." + +"It's because you're first lieutenant that I tell it you, Mr Simple. I +never was mistaken, in the main, of an officer's character, when I could +look him in the face, and hear him talk for half an hour; and I came up +on purpose to put you on your guard: for I feel convinced, that towards +you he means mischief. What does he mean by having the greasy-faced +serjeant of marines in his cabin for half an hour every morning? His +reports as master of arms ought to come through you, as first +lieutenant; but he means him as a spy upon all, and upon you in +particular. The fellow has begun to give himself airs already, and +speaks to the young gentlemen as if they were beneath him. I thought you +might not know it, Mr Simple, so I thought it right to tell you." + +"I am much obliged to you, Swinburne, for your good wishes; but I can do +my duty, and why should I fear anything?" + +"A man may do his duty, Mr Simple; but if a captain is determined to +ruin him, he has the power. I have been longer in the service than you +have, and have been wide awake: only be careful of one thing, Mr Simple; +I beg your pardon for being so free, but in no case lose your temper." + +"No fear of that, Swinburne," replied I. + +"It's very easy to say 'no fear of that,' Mr Simple; but recollect, you +have not yet had your temper tried as some officers have. You have +always been treated like a gentleman; but should you find yourself +treated otherwise, you have too good blood in your veins not to speak--I +am sure of that. I've seen officers insulted and irritated, till no +angel could put up with the treatment--and then for an unguarded word, +which they would have been _swabs_ not to have made use of, sent out of +the service to the devil." + +"But you forget, Swinburne, that the articles of war are made for the +captain as well as for everybody else in the ship." + +"I know that; but still, at court-martials captains make a great +distinction between what a superior says to an inferior, and what an +inferior says to a superior." + +"True," replied I, quoting Shakespeare: + + "'That's in the captain but a choleric word, Which in the soldier is + rank blasphemy.'" + +"Exactly my meaning--I rather think," said Swinburne, "if a captain +calls you no gentleman, you mus'n't say the same to him." + +"Certainly not, but I can demand a court-martial." + +"Yes; and it will be granted: but what do you gain by that? It's like +beating against a heavy gale and a lee tide--thousand to one if you +fetch your port; and if you do, your vessel is strained to pieces, sails +worn as thin as a newspaper, and rigging chafed half through, wanting +fresh serving: no orders for a re-fit, and laid up in ordinary for the +rest of your life. No, no, Mr Simple, the best plan is to grin and bear +it, and keep a sharp look-out; for depend upon it, Mr Simple, in the +best ship's company in the world, a spy captain will always find spy +followers." + +"Do you refer that observation to me, Mr Swinburne?" said a voice from +under the bulwark. I started round, and found the captain, who had crept +upon deck, unperceived by us, during our conversation. Swinburne made no +reply; but touched his hat and walked over to leeward. "I presume, Mr +Simple," said the captain, turning to me, "that you consider yourself +justified in finding fault, and abusing your captain, to an inferior +officer, on His Majesty's quarter-deck." + +"If you heard the previous conversation, sir," replied I, "you must be +aware that we were speaking generally about court-martials. I do not +imagine that I have been guilty of any impropriety in conversing with an +officer upon points connected with the service." + +"You mean then to assert, sir, that the gunner did not refer to me when +he said the words, 'spy captain.'" + +"I acknowledge, sir, that as you were listening unperceived, the term +might appear to refer to you; but the gunner had no idea, at the time, +that you were listening. His observation was, that a spy captain would +always find spy followers. This I take to be a general observation; and +I am sorry that you think otherwise." + +"Very well, Mr Simple," said Captain Hawkins--and he walked down the +companion ladder into his cabin. + +"Now a'n't it odd, Mr Simple, that I should come up with the intention +of being of service to you, and yet get you into such a scrape? However, +perhaps it is all for the best; open war is preferable to watching in +the dark, and stabbing in the back. He never meant to have shown his +colours; but I hit him so hard, that he forgot himself." + +"I suspect that to be the case, Swinburne; but I think that you had +better not talk any more with me to-night." + +"Wish I hadn't talked quite so much, as things have turned out," replied +Swinburne. "Good-night, sir." + +I reflected upon what had passed, and felt convinced that Swinburne was +right in saying that it was better this had occurred than otherwise. I +now knew the ground which I stood upon; and forewarned was being +forearmed. + + + + +Chapter LV + +We encounter a Dutch brig of war--Captain Hawkins very contemplative +near the capstan--Hard knocks, and no thanks for it--Who's afraid?--Men +will talk--The brig goes about on the wrong tack. + + +At daylight the next morning we were off the Texel, and could see the +low sand-hills; but we had scarcely made them out, when the fog in the +offing cleared up, and we made a strange vessel. The hands were turned +up, and all sail made in chase. We made her out to be a brig of war; and +as she altered her course considerably, we had an idea that she was an +enemy. We made the private signal, which was unanswered, and we cleared +for action; the brig making all sail on the starboard tack, and we +following her--she bearing about two miles on our weather bow. The +breeze was not steady; at one time the brig was staggering under her +top-gallant sails, while we had our royals set; at another we would have +hands by the top-gallant sheets and topsail halyards, while she expanded +every stitch of canvas. On the whole, however, in an hour we had neared +about half a mile. Our men were all at their quarters, happy to be so +soon at their old work. Their jackets and hats were thrown off, a +bandana handkerchief tied round their heads, and another, or else their +black silk handkerchiefs, tied round their waists. Every gun was ready, +everything was in its place, and every soul, I was going to say, was +anxious for the set-to; but I rather think I must not include the +captain, who from the commencement, showed no signs of pleasure, and +anything but presence of mind. When we first chased the vessel, it was +reported that it was a merchantman; and it was not until we had broad +daylight, that we discovered her to be a man-of-war. There was one thing +to be said in his favour--he had never been in action in his life. + +The breeze now fell light, and we were both with our sails set, when a +thick fog obscured her from our sight. The fog rolled on till we met it, +and then we could not see ten yards from the brig. This was a source of +great mortification, as we had every chance of losing her. Fortunately, +the wind was settling down fast into a calm, and about twelve o'clock +the sails flapped against the mast. I reported twelve o'clock, and asked +the captain whether we should pipe to dinner. + +"Not yet," replied he; "we will put her head about." + +"Go about, sir?" replied I, with surprise. + +"Yes;" said he, "I'm convinced that the chase is on the other tack at +this moment; and if we do not, we shall lose her." + +"If she goes about, sir," said I, "she must get among the sands, and we +shall be sure of her." + +"Sir," replied he, "when I ask your advice, you will be pleased to give +it. I command this vessel." + +I touched my hat, and turned the hands up about ship, convinced that the +captain wished to avoid the action, as the only chance of escape for the +brig was her keeping her wind in the tack she was on. "'Bout ship--'bout +ship!" cried the men. "What the hell are we going about for?" inquired +they of one another, as they came up the ladder. "Silence there, fore +and aft!" cried I. "Captain Hawkins, I do not think we can get her +round, unless we wear--the wind is very light." + +"Then wear ship, Mr Simple." + +There are times when grumbling and discontent among the seamen is so +participated by the officers, although they do not show it, that the +expressions made use of are passed unheeded. Such was the case at +present. The officers looked at each other, and said nothing; but the +men were unguarded in their expressions. The brig wore gradually round; +and when the men were bracing up the yards, sharp on the other tack, +instead of the "Hurrah!" and "Down with the mark!" they fell back with a +groan. + +"Brace up those yards in silence, there," said I to the men. + +The ropes were coiled down, and we piped to dinner. The captain, who +continued on deck, could not fail to hear the discontented expressions +which occasionally were made use of on the lower deck. He made no +observation, but occasionally looked over the side, to see whether the +brig went through the water. This she did slowly for about ten minutes, +when it fell a perfect calm--so that, to use a common sea phrase, he +gained little by his motion. About half-past one, a slight breeze from +the opposite quarter sprung up--we turned round to it--it increased--the +fog blew away, and, in a quarter of an hour, the chase was again +visible, now upon our lee beam. The men gave three cheers. + +"Silence there, fore and aft," cried the captain, angrily. "Mr Simple, +is this the way that the ship's company have been disciplined under +their late commander, to halloo and bawl whenever they think proper?" + +I was irritated at any reflection upon O'Brien, and I replied, "Yes, +sir; they have been always accustomed to express their joy at the +prospect of engaging the enemy." + +"Very well, Mr Simple," replied he. + +"How are we to shift her head?" inquired the master, touching his hat: +"for the chase?" + +"Of course," replied the captain, who then descended into his cabin. + +"Come, my lads," said Swinburne, as soon as the captain was below, "I +have been going round, and I find that your _pets_ are all in good +fighting order. I promise ye, you sha'n't wait for powder. They'll find +that the _Rattlesnake_ can bite devilish hard yet, I expect."--"Aye, and +without its _head_, too," replied one of the men, who was the Joe Miller +of the brig. The chase, perceiving that she could not escape--for we +were coming up with her, hand over hand, now shortened sail for action, +hoisting Dutch colours. Captain Hawkins again made his appearance on the +quarter-deck, when we were within half a mile of her. + +"Are we to run alongside of her or how?" inquired I. + +"Mr Simple, I command her," replied he, "and want no interference +whatever." + +"Very well, sir," replied I, and I walked to the gangway. + +"Mr Thompson," cried the captain, who appeared to have screwed up his +courage to the right pitch, and had now taken his position for a moment +on one of the carronades; "you will lay the brig right--" + +Bang, bang--whiz, whiz--bang--whiz, came three shots from the enemy, +cleaving the air between our masts. The captain jumped down from the +carronade, and hastened to the capstern, without finishing his sentence. +"Shall we fire when we are ready, sir?" said I; for I perceived that he +was not capable of giving correct orders. + +"Yes--yes, to be sure," replied he, remaining where he was. + +"Thompson," said I to the master, "I think we can manage, in our present +commanding position, to get foul of him, so as to knock away his +jib-boom and fore topmast, and then she can't escape. We have good way +on her." + +"I'll manage it, Simple, or my name's not Thompson," replied the master, +jumping into the quarter-boat, conning the vessel in that exposed +situation, as we received the enemy's fire. + +"Look out, my lads, and pour it into her now, just as you please," said +I to the men. + +The seamen were, however, too well disciplined to take immediate +advantage of my permission; they waited until we passed her, and just as +the master put up his helm, so as to catch her jib-boom between our +masts, the whole broadside was poured into his bow and chess-tree. Her +jib-boom and fore-topgallant went down, and she had so much way through +the water, that we tore clear from her, and rounding to the wind shot +a-head. The enemy, although in confusion from the effects of our +broadside, put up his helm to rake us; we perceived his manoeuvre, and +did the same, and then, squaring our sails, we ran with him before the +wind, engaging broadside to broadside. This continued about half an +hour, and we soon found that we had no fool to play with. The brig was +well fought, and her guns well directed. We had several men taken down +below, and I thought it would be better to engage her even closer. There +was about a cable's length between both vessels, as we ran before the +wind, at about six miles an hour, with a slight rolling motion. + +"Thompson," said I, "let us see if we cannot beat them from their guns. +Let's port the helm and close her, till we can shy a biscuit on board." + +"Just my opinion, Simple; we'll see if they won't make another sort of +running fight of it." + +In a few minutes we were so close on board of her, that the men who +loaded the guns could touch each other with their rammers and sponges. +The men cheered; it was gallantly returned by the enemy, and havoc was +now commenced by the musketry on both sides. The French captain, who +appeared as brave a fellow as ever stepped, stood for some minutes on +the hammocks; I was also holding on by the swifter of the main rigging, +when he took off his hat and politely saluted me. I returned the +compliment; but the fire became too hot, and I wished to get under the +shelter of the bulwark. Still I would not go down first, and the French +captain appeared determined not to be the first either to quit the post +of honour. At last one of our marines hit him in the right arm: he +clapped his hand to the part, as if to point it out to me, nodded, and +was assisted down from the hammocks. I immediately quitted my post, for +I thought it foolish to stand as a mark for forty or fifty soldiers. I +had already received a bullet through the small of my leg. But the +effects of such close fire now became apparent: our guns were only half +manned, our sides terribly cut up, and our sails and rigging in tatters. +The enemy was even worse off, and two broadsides more brought her +mainmast by the board. Our men cheered, and threw in another broadside. +The enemy dropped astern; we rounded to rake her; she also attempted to +round to, but could not until she had cleared away her wreck, and taken +in her foresail, and lowered her topsail. She then continued the action +with as much spirit as ever. + +"He's a fine fellow, by God!" exclaimed Thompson; "I never saw a man +fight his ship better: but we have him. Webster's down, poor fellow!" + +"I'm sorry for it," replied I; "but I'm afraid that there are many poor +fellows who have lost the number of their mess. I think it useless +throwing away the advantage which we now have. He can't escape, and +he'll fight this way for ever. We had better run a-head, repair damages, +and then he must surrender, in his crippled state, when we attack him +again." + +"I agree with you," said Thompson; "the only point is, that it will soon +be dark." + +"I'll not lose sight of him, and he cannot get away. If he puts before +the wind, then we will be at him again." + +We gave him the loaded guns as we forged a-head, and when we were about +half a mile from him, hove-to to repair damages. + +The reader may now ask, "But where was the captain all this time?" My +answer is, that he was at the capstern, where he stood in silence, not +once interfering during the whole action, which was fought by Thompson, +the master, and myself. How he looked, or how he behaved in other points +during the engagement, I cannot pretend to say, for I had no time to +observe him. Even now I was busy knotting the rigging, rousing up new +sails to bend, and getting everything in order, and I should not have +observed him, had he not come up to me; for as soon as we had ceased +firing he appeared to recover himself. He did not, however, first +address me; he commenced speaking to the men. + +"Come, be smart, my lads; send a hand here to swab up the blood. Here, +youngster, run down to the surgeon, and let him know that I wish a +report of the killed and wounded." + +By degrees he talked more, and at last came up to me, "This has been +rather smartish, Mr Simple." + +"Very smart indeed, sir," replied I, and then turned away to give +directions. "Maintop there, send down the hauling line on the starboard +side." + +"Ay, ay, sir." + +"Now then, my lads, clap on, and run it up at once." + +"Maintop, there," hailed the captain, "be a little smarter, or by +G----d, I'll call you down for something." This did not come with a +good grace from one who had done nothing, to those who were working with +all their energy. "Mr Simple," said the captain, "I wish you would carry +on duty with less noise." + +"At all events, he set us that example during the action," muttered the +Joe Miller; and the other men laughed heartily at the implication. In +two hours, during which we had carefully watched the enemy, who still +lay where we left him, we were again ready for action. + +"Shall I give the men their grog now, sir?" said I to the captain; "they +must want it." + +"No, no," replied the captain; "no, no, Mr Simple, I don't like what you +call _Dutch_ courage." + +"I don't think he much does; and this fellow has shown plenty of it," +said the Joe Miller, softly; and the men about him laughed heartily. + +"I think, sir," observed I, "that it is an injustice to this fine ship's +company to hint at their requiring Dutch courage." (Dutch courage is a +term for courage screwed up by drinking freely.) "And I most +respectfully beg leave to observe, that the men have not had their +afternoon's allowance; and, after the fatigues they have undergone, +really require it." + +"I command this ship, sir," replied he. + +"Certainly, sir, I am aware of it," rejoined I. "She is now all ready +for action again, and I wait your orders. The enemy is two miles on the +lee quarter." + +The surgeon here came up with his report. + +"Good heavens!" said the captain, "forty-seven men killed and wounded, +Mr Webster dangerously. Why, the brig is crippled. We can do no more-- +positively, we can do no more." + +"_We can take that brig, anyhow_," cried one of the seamen from a dozen +of the men who were to leeward, expecting orders to renew the attack. + +"What man was that?" cried the captain. + +No one answered. + +"By G----d! this ship is in a state of mutiny, Mr Simple." + +"Will _soon_ be, I think," said a voice from the crowd, which I knew +very well; but the captain, having been but a short time with us, did +not know it. + +"Do you hear that, Mr Simple?" cried the captain. + +"I regret to say that I did hear it, sir; I little thought that ever +such an expression would have been made use of on board of the +_Rattlesnake_." Then, fearing he would ask me the man's name, and to +pretend not to have recognised it, I said, "Who was that who made use of +that expression?" But no one answered; and it was so dark, that it was +impossible to distinguish the men. + +"After such mutinous expressions," observed the captain, "I certainly +will not risk His Majesty's brig under my command, as I should have +wished to have done, even in her crippled state, by again engaging the +enemy. I can only regret that the officers appear as insolent as the +men." + +"Perhaps, Captain Hawkins, you will state in what, and when, I have +proved myself insolent. I cannot accuse myself." + +"I hope the expression was not applied to me, sir," said Thompson, the +master, touching his hat. + +"Silence, gentlemen, if you please. Mr Simple, wear round the ship." + +Whether the captain intended to attack the enemy or not, we could not +tell, but we were soon undeceived; for when we were round, he ordered +her to be kept away until the Dutch brig was on our lee quarter: then +ordering the master to shape his course for Yarmouth, he went down into +the cabin, and sent up word that I might pipe to supper and serve out +the spirits. + +The rage and indignation of the men could not be withheld. After they +went down to supper they gave three heavy groans in concert; indeed, +during the whole of that night, the officers who kept the watches had +great difficulty in keeping the men from venting their feeling, in what +might be almost termed justifiable mutiny. As for myself, I could hardly +control my vexation. The brig was our certain prize; and this was +proved, for the next day she hauled down her colours immediately to a +much smaller man-of-war, which fell in with her, still lying in the same +crippled state; the captain and first lieutenant killed, and nearly +two-thirds of her ship's company either killed or wounded. Had we +attacked her, she would have hauled down her colours immediately, for it +was our last broadside which had killed the captain. As first +lieutenant, I should have received my promotion, which was now lost. I +cried for vexation when I thought of it as I lay in bed. That his +conduct was severely commented upon by the officers in the gun-room, as +well as by the whole ship's company, I hardly need say. Thompson was for +bringing him to a court-martial, which I would most gladly have done, if +it only were to get rid of him; but I had a long conversation with old +Swinburne on the subject, and he proved to me that I had better not +attempt it. "For, d'ye see, Mr Simple, you have no proof. He did not run +down below; he stood his ground on deck, although he did nothing. You +can't _prove_ cowardice, then, although there can be no great doubt of +it. Again, with regard to his not renewing the attack, why, is not a +captain at liberty to decide what is the best for His Majesty's service? +And if he thought, in the crippled state of the brig, so close to the +enemy's coast, that it wasn't advisable, why, it could only be brought +in as an error in judgment. Then there's another thing which must be +remembered, Mr Simple, which is, that no captains sitting on a +court-martial will, if it be possible to extricate him, ever prove +_cowardice_ against a brother captain, because they feel that it's a +disgrace to the whole cloth." + +Swinburne's advice was good, and I gave up all thoughts of proceeding; +still it appeared to me, that the captain was very much afraid that I +would, he was so extremely amiable and polite during our run home. He +said, that he had watched how well I had behaved in the action, and +would not fail to notice it. This was something, but he did not keep his +word: for his despatch was published before we quitted the roadstead, +and not the name of one officer mentioned, only generally saying, that +they conducted themselves to his satisfaction. He called the enemy a +corvette, not specifying whether she was a brig or ship corvette; and +the whole was written in such a bombastic style, that any one would have +imagined that he had fought a vessel of superior force. He stated, at +the end, that as soon as he repaired damages, he wore round, but that +the enemy declined further action. So she did--certainly--for the best +of all possible reasons, that she was too disabled to come down to us. +All this might have been contested; but the enormous list of killed and +wounded proved that we had had a hard fight, and the capture of the brig +afterwards, that we had really overpowered her. So that, on the whole, +Captain Hawkins gained a great deal of credit with some; although +whispers were afloat which came to the ears of the Admiralty, and +prevented him from being posted--the more so, as he had the modesty not +to apply for it. + + + + +Chapter LVI + +Consequences of the action--A ship without a fighting captain is like a +thing without a head--So do the sailors think--A mutiny, and the loss +of our famous ship's company. + + +During our stay at Yarmouth, we were not allowed to put our foot on +shore, upon the plea that we must repair damages, and proceed +immediately to our station; but the real fact was, that Captain Hawkins +was very anxious that we should not be able to talk about the action. +Finding no charges preferred against him, he re-commenced his system of +annoyance. His apartments had windows which looked out upon where the +brig lay at anchor, and he constantly watched all our motions with his +spy-glass, noting down if I did not hoist up boats, &c., exactly at the +hour prescribed in his book of orders, so as to gather a list of charges +against me if he could. This we did not find out until afterwards. + +I mentioned before, that when Swinburne joined us at Plymouth, he had +recommended a figure-head being put on the brig. This had been done at +O'Brien's expense--not in the cheap way recommended by Swinburne, but in +a very handsome manner. It was a large snake coiled up in folds, with +its head darting out in a menacing attitude, and the tail, with its +rattle appeared below. The whole was gilded, and had a very good effect; +but after the dock-yard men had completed the repairs, and the brig was +painted, one night the head of the rattlesnake disappeared. It had been +sawed off by some malicious and evil disposed persons, and no traces of +it were to be found. I was obliged to report this to the captain, who +was very indignant, and offered twenty pounds for the discovery of the +offender; but had he offered twenty thousand he never would have found +out the delinquent. It was, however, never forgotten; for he understood +what was implied by these manoeuvres. A new head was carved, but +disappeared the night after it was fixed on. + +The rage of the captain was without bounds: he turned the hands up, and +declared that if the offender was not given up, he would flog every hand +on board. He gave the ship's company ten minutes, and then prepared to +execute his threat. "Mr Paul, turn the hands up for punishment," said +the captain, in a rage, and descended to his cabin for the articles of +war. When he was down below, the officers talked over the matter. To +flog every man for the crime of one was the height of injustice, but it +was not for us to oppose him; still the ship's company must have seen, +in our countenances, that we shared their feelings. The men were talking +with each other in groups, until they all appeared to have communicated +their ideas on the subject. The carpenters, who had been slowly bringing +aft the gratings, left off the job; the boatswain's mates, who had came +aft, rolled the tails of their cats round the red handles; and every man +walked down below. No one was left on the quarter-deck but the marines +under arms, and the officers. Perceiving this, I desired Mr Paul, the +boatswain, to send the men up to rig the gratings, and the +quarter-masters with their seizings. He came up, and said that he had +called them, but that they did not answer. Perceiving that the ship's +company would break out into open mutiny, if the captain persisted in +his intention, I went down into the cabin, and told the captain the +state of things, and wished for his orders or presence on deck. + +The captain, whose wrath appeared incapable of reflection, immediately +proceeded on deck, and ordered the marines to load with ball-cartridge. +This was done; but, as I was afterwards told by Thompson, who was +standing aft, the marines loaded with powder, and put the balls into +their pockets. They wished to keep up the character of their corps for +fidelity, and at the same time not fire upon men whom they loved as +brothers, and with whom they coincided in opinion. Indeed, we afterwards +discovered that it was a _marine_ who had taken off the _head_ of the +snake a second time. + +The captain then ordered the boatswain to turn the hands up. The +boatswain made his appearance with his right arm in a sling.--"What's +the matter with your arm, Mr Paul?" said I, as he passed me. + +"Tumbled down the hatchway just now--can't move my arm; I must go to the +surgeon as soon as this is over." + +The hands were piped up again, but no one obeyed the order. Thus was the +brig in a state of mutiny. "Mr Simple, go forward to the main hatchway +with the marines, and fire on the lower deck," cried the captain. + +"Sir," said I, "there are two frigates within a cable's length of us; +and would it not be better to send for assistance, without shedding +blood? Besides, sir, you have not yet tried the effect of calling up the +carpenter's and boatswain's mates by name. Will you allow me to go down +first, and bring them to a sense of their duty?" + +"Yes, I presume you know your power; but of this hereafter." + +I went down below and called the men by name. + +"Sir," said one of the boatswain's mates, "the ship's company say that +they will not submit to be flogged." + +"I do not speak to the ship's company generally, Collins," replied I; +"but you are now ordered to rig the gratings, and come on deck. It is an +order that you cannot refuse. Go up directly, and obey it. +Quarter-masters, go on deck with your seizings. When all is ready, you +can then expostulate." The men obeyed my orders; they crawled on deck, +rigged the gratings, and stood by. "All is ready, sir," said I, touching +my hat to the captain. + +"Send the ship's company aft, Mr Paul." + +"Aft, then, all of you, for punishment," cried the boatswain. + +"Yes, it is _all of us for punishment_," cried one voice. "We're all to +flog one another, and then pay off the _jollies_."[1] + +This time the men obeyed the order; they all appeared on the +quarter-deck. "The men are all aft, sir," reported the boatswain. + +"And now, my lads," said the captain, "I'll teach you what mutiny is. +You see the two frigates alongside of us. You had forgotten them, I +suppose, but I hadn't. Here, you scoundrel, Mr Jones"--(this was the Joe +Miller)--"strip, sir. If ever there was mischief in a ship, you are at +the head." + +"Head, sir," said the man, assuming a vacant look; "what head, sir? Do +you mean the snake's head? I don't know anything about it, sir."-- +"Strip, sir!" cried the captain in a rage; "I'll soon bring you to your +senses." + +"If you please, your honour, what have I done to be tied up?" said the +man. + +"Strip, you scoundrel!"--"Well, sir, if you please, it's hard to be +flogged for nothing." The man pulled off his clothes, and walked up to +the grating. The quarter-masters seized him up. + +"Seized up, sir," reported the scoundrel of a sergeant of marines who +acted as the captain's spy. + +The captain looked for the articles of war to read, as is necessary +previous to punishing a man, and was a little puzzled to find one, where +no positive offence had been committed. At last, he pitched upon the one +which refers to combination and conspiracy, and creating discontent. We +all took off our hats as he read it, and he then called Mr Paul, the +boatswain, and ordered him to give the man a dozen. "Please, sir," said +the boatswain, pointing to his arm in a sling, "I can't flog--I can't +lift up my arm."--"Your arm was well enough when I came on board, sir," +cried the captain. + +"Yes, sir; but in hurrying the men up, I slipped down the ladder, and +I'm afraid I've put my shoulder out." + +The captain bit his lips; he fully believed it was a sham on the part of +the boatswain (which indeed it was) to get off flogging the men. "Well, +then, where is the chief boatswain's mate, Miller?" + +"Here, sir," said Miller, coming forward: a stout, muscular man, nearly +six feet high, with a pig-tail nearly four feet long, and his open +breast covered with black, shaggy hair. + +"Give that man a dozen, sir," said the captain. + +The man looked at the captain, then at the ship's company, and then at +the man seized up, but did not commence the punishment. + +"Do you hear me, sir?" roared the captain. + +"If you please, your honour, I'd rather take my disrating--I--don't wish +to be chief boatswain's mate in this here business." + +"Obey your orders, immediately, sir," cried the captain; "or, by God, +I'll try you for mutiny." + +"Well, sir, I beg your pardon; but what must be, must be. I mean no +disrespect, Captain Hawkins, but I cannot flog that man--my conscience +won't let me." + +"Your _conscience_, sir!" + +"Beg your pardon, Captain Hawkins, I've always done my duty, foul +weather or fair; and I've been eighteen years in His Majesty's service, +without ever being brought to punishment; but if I am to be hung now, +saving your pleasure, and with all respect, I can't help it." + +"I give you but one moment more, sir," cried the captain; "do your +duty." The man looked at the captain, and then eyed the yard-arm. +"Captain Hawkins, I will _do my duty_, although I must swing for it." So +saying he threw his cat down on the quarter-deck, and fell back among +the ship's company. + +The captain was now confounded, and hardly knew how to act: to persevere +appeared useless--to fall back was almost as impossible. A dead silence +of a minute ensued. Every one was breathless with impatience, to know +what would be done next. The silence was, however, first broken by +Jones, the Joe Miller, who was seized up. "Beg your honour's pardon, +sir," said he, turning his head round; "but if I am to be flogged, will +you be pleased to let me have it over? I shall catch my death a-cold, +naked here all day." This was decided mockery, on the part of the man, +and roused the captain. + +"Sergeant of marines, put Miller and that man Collins, both legs in +irons, for mutiny. My men, I perceive that there is a conspiracy in the +ship, but I shall very soon put an end to it: I know the men, and, by +God, they shall repent it. Mr Paul, pipe down. Mr Simple, man my gig; +and recollect, it's my positive orders that no boat goes on shore." The +captain left the brig, looking daggers at me as he went over the side; +but I had done my duty, and cared little for that; indeed, I was now +watching his conduct as carefully as he did mine. + +"The captain wishes to tell his own story first," said Thompson, coming +up to me. "Now, if I were you, Simple, I would take care that the real +facts should be known." + +"How's that to be done," replied I; "he has ordered no communication +with the shore." + +"Simply by sending an officer on board of each of the frigates to state +that the brig is in a state of mutiny, and request that they will keep a +look-out upon her. This is no more than your duty as commanding officer; +you only send the message, leave me to state the facts of my own accord. +Recollect that the captains of these frigates will be summoned, if there +is a court of inquiry, which I expect will take place." + +I considered a little, and thought the advice good. I despatched +Thompson first to one frigate, and then to the other. The next day the +captain came on board. As soon as he stepped on the quarter-deck he +inquired how I dare disobey his orders in sending the boats away. My +reply was that his orders were, not to communicate with the shore, but +that, as commanding officer, I considered it my duty to make known to +the other ships that the men were in a state of insubordination, that +they might keep their eyes upon us. He _kept his eyes_ upon me for some +time, and then turned away without reply. As we expected, a court of +inquiry was called, upon his representations to the admiral. About +twenty of the men were examined, but so much came out as to the _reason +why_ the head of the snake had been removed--for the sailors spoke +boldly--that the admiral and officers who were appointed strongly +recommended Captain Hawkins not to proceed further than to state that +there were some disaffected characters in the ship, and move the admiral +to have them exchanged into others. This was done, and the captains of +the frigates, who immediately gave their advice, divided all our best +men between them. They spoke very freely to me, and asked me who were +the best men, which I told them honestly, for I was glad to be able to +get them out of the power of Captain Hawkins; these they marked as +disaffected, and exchanged them for all the worst they had on board. The +few that were left ran away, and thus, from having one of the finest and +best organised ship's companies in the service, we were now one of the +very worst. Miller was sent on board of the frigate, and under +surveillance: he soon proved that his character was as good as I stated +it to be, and two years afterwards was promoted to the rank of +boatswain. Webster, the second lieutenant, would not rejoin us, and +another was appointed. I must here remark, that there is hardly any +degree of severity which a captain may not exert towards his seamen, +provided they are confident of, or he has proved to them, his courage; +but if there be a doubt, or a confirmation to the contrary, all +discipline is destroyed by contempt, and the ship's company mutiny, +either directly or indirectly. There is an old saying, that all tyrants +are cowards; that tyranny is in itself a species of meanness, I +acknowledge: but still the saying ought to be modified. If it is +asserted that all mean tyrants are cowards, I agree; but I have known in +the service most special tyrants, who were not cowards: their tyranny +was excessive, but there was no meanness in their dispositions. On the +contrary, they were generous, open-hearted, and, occasionally, when not +influenced by anger, proved that their hearts, if not quite right, were +not very much out of their places. Yet they were tyrants; but, although +tyrants, the men forgave them, and one kind act, when they were not led +away by the impetuosity of their feelings, obliterated a hundred acts of +tyranny. But such is not the case in our service with men who, in their +tyranny, are mean; the seamen show no quarter to them, and will undergo +all the risk which the severity of the articles of war renders them +liable to, rather than not express their opinion of a man whom they +despise. I do not like to mention names, but I could point out specimens +of brave tyrants, and of cowardly tyrants who have existed, and do even +now exist in our service. The present regulations have limited tyranny +to a certain degree, but it cannot check the _mean_ tyrant; for it is +not in points of consequence, likely to be brought before the notice of +his superiors, that he effects his purpose. He resorts to paltry +measures--he smiles that he may betray--he confines himself within the +limit that may protect him; and he is never exposed, unless by his +courage being called in question, which but rarely occurs; and when it +does occur it is most difficult, as well as most dangerous, to attempt +to prove it. It may be asked why I did not quit the ship, after having +been aware of the character of the captain, and the enmity which he bore +to me. In reply, I can only say that I did often think of it, talked +over the subject with my messmates, but they persuaded me to remain, +and, as I was a first lieutenant, and knew that any successful action +would, in all probability, insure my promotion, I determined, to use a +nautical expression, to rough it out, and not throw away the only chance +which I now had of obtaining my rank as commander. + +[Footnote 1: Marines.] + + + + +Chapter LVII + +News from home not very agreeable, although the reader may laugh--We +arrive at Portsmouth, where I fall in with my old acquaintance, Mrs +Trotter--We sail with a convoy for the Baltic. + + +I had written to my sister Ellen, giving her an account of all that had +passed, and mentioning the character of the captain, and his apparent +intimacy with my uncle. I received an answer from her, telling me that +she had discovered, from a very communicative old maiden lady, that +Captain Hawkins was an illegitimate son of my uncle, by a lady with whom +he had been acquainted about the time that he was in the army. I +immediately conceived the truth, that my uncle had pointed me out to him +as an object of his vengeance, and that Captain Hawkins was too dutiful +and too dependent a son not to obey him. The state of my father was more +distressing than ever, but there was something very ludicrous in his +fancies. He had fancied himself a jackass, and had brayed for a week, +kicking the old nurse in the stomach, so as to double her up like a +hedgehog. He had taken it into his head that he was a pump; and, with +one arm held out as a spout, he had obliged the poor old nurse to work +the other up and down for hours together. At another time, he had an +idea that he was a woman in labour, and they were obliged to give him a +strong dose of calomel, and borrow a child of six years old from a +neighbour, to make him believe that he was delivered. He was perfectly +satisfied, although the child was born to him in cloth trousers, and a +jacket with three rows of sugar-loaf buttons. Aye, said he, it was those +buttons which hurt my side so much. In fact, there was a string of +strange conceptions of this kind that had accumulated, so as to drive my +poor sister almost mad; and sometimes his ideas would be attended with a +very heavy expense, as he would send for architects, make contracts, +&c., for building, supposing himself to have come to the title and +property of his brother. This, being the basis of his disease, occurred +frequently. I wrote to poor Ellen, giving her my best advice, and by +this time the brig was again ready for sea, and we expected to sail +immediately. I did not forget to write to O'Brien, but the distance +between us was so great that I knew I could not obtain his answer +probably for a year, and I felt a melancholy foreboding how much I +required his advice. + +Our orders were to proceed to Portsmouth, and join a convoy collected +there, bound up the Baltic, under the charge of the _Acasta_ frigate, +and two other vessels. We did not sail with any pleasure, or hopes of +gaining much in the way of prize-money. Our captain was enough to make +any ship a hell; and our ship's company were composed of a mutinous and +incorrigible set of scoundrels, with, of course, a few exceptions. How +different did the officers find the brig after losing such a captain as +O'Brien, and so fine a ship's company! But there was no help for it, and +all we had to do was to make the best of it, and hope for better times. +The cat was at work nearly every day, and I must acknowledge that, +generally speaking, it was deserved; although sometimes a report from +the sergeant of marines of any good man favoured by me, was certain to +be attended to. This system of receiving reports direct from an inferior +officer, instead of through me, as first lieutenant, became so annoying, +that I resolved, at all risk, to expostulate. I soon had an opportunity, +for one morning the captain said to me, "Mr Simple, I understand that +you had a fire in the galley last night after hours." + +"It is very true, sir, that I did order a stove to be lighted; but may I +inquire whether the first lieutenant has not a discretionary power in +that point? and further, how it is that I am reported to you by other +people? The discipline of this ship is carried on by me, under your +directions, and all reports ought to come through me; and I cannot +understand upon what grounds you permit them through any other channel." + +"I command my own ship, sir, and shall do as I please in that respect. +When I have officers I can confide in, I shall, in all probability, +allow them to report to me." + +"If there is anything in my conduct which has proved to you that I am +incapable, or not trustworthy, I would feel obliged to you, sir, if you +would, in the first place, point it out;--and, in the next, bring me to +a court-martial if I do not correct it." + +"I am no court-martial man, sir," replied he, "but I am not to be +dictated to by an inferior officer, so you'll oblige me by holding your +tongue. The sergeant of marines, as master-at-arms, is bound to report +to me any deviation from the regulations I have laid down for the +discipline of the ship." + +"Granted, sir; but that report, according to the custom of the service, +should come through the first lieutenant." + +"I prefer it coming direct, sir;--it stands less chance of being +garbled." + +"Thank you, Captain Hawkins, for the compliment." The captain walked +away without further reply, and shortly after went down below. Swinburne +ranged up alongside of me as soon as the captain disappeared. + +"Well, Mr Simple, so I hear we are bound to the Baltic. Why couldn't +they have ordered us to pick up the convoy off Yarmouth, instead of +coming all the way to Portsmouth? We shall be in to-morrow with this +slant of wind." + +"I suppose the convoy are not yet collected, Swinburne; and you +recollect there's no want of French privateers in the channel." + +"Very true, sir." + +"When were you up the Baltic, Swinburne?" + +"I was in the old _St George_, a regular old ninety-eight; she sailed +just like a hay-stack, one mile ahead and three to leeward. Lord bless +you, Mr Simple, the Cattegat wasn't wide enough for her; but she was a +comfortable sort of vessel after all, excepting on a lee-shore, so we +used always to give the land a wide berth, I recollect. By the bye, Mr +Simple, do you recollect how angry you were because I didn't peach at +Barbadoes, when the men _sucked the monkey?_" + +"To be sure I do." + +"Well, then, I didn't think it fair then, as I was one of them. But now +that I'm a bit of an officer, I just tell you that when we get to +Carlscrona there's a method of _sucking the monkey_ there, which, as +first lieutenant, with such a queer sort of captain, it is just as well +that you should be up to. In the old _St George_ we had seventy men +drunk one afternoon, and the first lieutenant couldn't find it out +nohow." + +"Indeed, Swinburne, you must let me into that secret." + +"So I will, Mr Simple. Don't you know there's a famous stuff for cuts +and wounds, called balsam?" + +"What, Riga balsam?" + +"Yes, that's it; well, all the boats will bring that for sale, as they +did to us in the old _St George_. Devilish good stuff it is for wounds, +I believe; but it's not bad to drink, and it's very strong. We used to +take it _inwardly_, Mr Simple, and the first lieutenant never guessed +it." + +"What! you all got tipsy upon Riga balsam?" + +"All that could; so I just give you a hint." + +"I'm much obliged to you, Swinburne; I certainly never should have +suspected it. I believe seamen would get drunk upon anything." + +The next morning we anchored at Spithead, and found the convoy ready for +sea. The captain went on shore to report himself to the admiral, and, as +usual, the brig was surrounded with bumboats and wherries, with people +who wished to come on board. As we were not known on the Portsmouth +station, and had no acquaintance with the people, all the bumboats were +very anxious to supply the ship: and, as this is at the option of the +first lieutenant, he is very much persecuted until he has made his +decision. Certificates of good conduct from other officers were handed +up the side from all of them; and I looked over the books at the +capstern. In the second book the name struck me; it was that of Mrs +Trotter, and I walked to the gangway out of curiosity, to ascertain +whether it was the same personage who, when I was a youngster, had taken +such care of my shirts. As I looked at the boats, a voice cried out, "O, +Mr Simple, have you forgot your old friend? don't you recollect Mrs +Trotter?" I certainly did not recollect her; she had grown very fat, +and, although more advanced in years, was a better-looking woman than +when I had first seen her, for she looked healthy and fresh. + +"Indeed, I hardly did recollect you, Mrs Trotter." + +"I've so much to tell you, Mr Simple," replied she, ordering the boat to +pull alongside; and, as she was coming up, desired the man to get the +things in, as if permission was quite unnecessary. I did not +counter-order it, as I knew none of the others, and, as far as honesty +was concerned, believed them all to be much on a par. On the strength, +then, of old acquaintance, Mrs Trotter was admitted. + +"Well, I'm sure, Mr Simple," cried Mrs Trotter, out of breath with +climbing up the brig's side; "what a man you've grown,--and such a +handsome man, too! Dear, dear, it makes me feel quite old to look at +you, when I call to mind the little boy whom I had charge of in the +cockpit. Don't you think I look very old and ugly, Mr Simple?" continued +she, smiling and smirking. + +"Indeed, Mrs Trotter, I think you wear very well. Pray, how is your +husband?" + +"Ah, Mr Simple, poor dear Mr Trotter--he's gone. Poor fellow! no wonder; +what with his drinking, and his love for me--and his jealousy--(do you +recollect how jealous he was, Mr Simple?)--he wore himself out at last. +No wonder, considering what he had been accustomed to, after keeping his +carriage and dogs with everybody, to be reduced to see his wife go a +_bumming_. It broke his heart, poor fellow! and, Mr Simple, I've been +much happier ever since, for I could not bear to see him fretting. Lord, +how jealous he was--and all about nothing! Don't you want some fresh +meat for the gun-room? I've a nice leg of mutton in the boat, and some +milk for tea." + +"Recollect, Mrs Trotter, I shall not overlook your bringing spirits on +board." + +"Lord, Mr Simple, how could you think of such a thing? It's very true +that these common people do it, but the company I have kept, the society +I have been in, Mr Simple! Besides, you must recollect that I never +drank anything but water." + +I could not exactly coincide with her, but I did not contradict her. + +"Would you like the Portsmouth paper, Mr Simple?" taking one out of her +pocket; "I know gentlemen are fond of the news. Poor Trotter used never +to stir from the breakfast table until he had finished the daily paper-- +but that was when we lived in very different style. Have you any clothes +to wash, Mr Simple,--or have any of the gentlemen?" + +"I fear we have no time, we sail too soon," replied I; "we go with the +convoy." + +"Indeed!" cried Mrs Trotter, who walked to the main hatchway and called +to her man Bill. I heard her give him directions to sell nothing upon +trust, in consequence of the intelligence of our immediate sailing. + +"I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, I was only desiring my head man to send +for your steward, that he might be supplied with the best, and to save +some milk for the gun-room." + +"And I must beg your pardon, Mrs Trotter, for I must attend to my duty." +Mrs Trotter made her courtesy and walked down the main ladder to attend +to _her duty_, and we separated. I was informed that she had a great +deal of custom, as she understood how to manage the officers, and made +herself generally useful to them. She had been a bumboat woman for six +years, and had made a great deal of money. Indeed, it was reported, that +if a _first lieutenant_ wanted forty or fifty pounds, Mrs Trotter would +always lend it to him, without requiring his promissory note. + +The captain came on board in the evening, having dined with the admiral, +and left directions for having all ready for unmooring and heaving short +at daylight. The signal was made from the frigate at sunrise, and before +twelve o'clock we were all under weigh, and running past St Helen's with +a favourable wind. Our force consisted of the _Acasta_ frigate, the +_Isis_ ship, sloop, mounting twenty guns, the _Reindeer_, eighteen, and +our own brig. The convoy amounted to nearly two hundred. Although the +wind was fair, and the water smooth, we were more than a week before we +made Anholt light, owing _to_ the bad sailing and inattention of many of +the vessels belonging to the convoy. We were constantly employed +repeating signals, firing guns, and often sent back to tow up the +sternmost vessels. At last we passed the Anholt light, with a light +breeze; and the next morning the main land was to be distinguished on +both bows. + + + + +Chapter LVIII + +How we passed the Sound, and what passed in the Sound The Captain +overhears again a conversation between Swinburne and me. + + +I was on the signal-chest abaft, counting the convoy, when Swinburne +came up to me. "There's a little difference between this part of the +world and the West Indies, Mr Simple," observed he. "Black rocks and fir +woods don't remind us of the Blue Mountains of Jamaica, or the cocoa-nut +waving to the sea-breeze." + +"Indeed not, Swinburne," replied I. + +"We shall have plenty of calms here, without panting with the heat, +although we may find the gun-boats a little too warm for us; for, depend +upon it, the very moment the wind goes down, they will come out from +every nook and corner, and annoy us not a little." + +"Have you been here before, with a convoy, Swinburne?" + +"To be sure I have; and it's sharp work that I've seen here, Mr Simple-- +work that I've an idea our captain won't have much stomach for." + +"Swinburne, I beg you will keep your thoughts relative to the captain to +yourself; recollect the last time. It is my duty not to listen to them." + +"And I should rather think to report them also, Mr Simple," said Captain +Hawkins, who had crept up to us, and overheard our conversation. + +"In this instance there is no occasion for my reporting them, sir," +replied I, "for you have heard what has passed." + +"I have, sir," replied he; "and I shall not forget the conversation." + +I turned forward. Swinburne had made his retreat the moment that he +heard the voice of the captain. "How many sails are there in sight, +sir?" inquired the captain. + +"One hundred and sixty-three, sir," replied I. + +"Signal for convoy to close from the _Acasta_" reported the midshipman +of the watch. + +We repeated it, and the captain descended to his cabin. We were then +running about four miles an hour, the water very smooth, and Anholt +lighthouse hardly visible on deck, bearing N.N.W. about twenty miles. In +fact, we were near the entrance of the Sound, which, the reader may be +aware, is a narrow passage leading into the Baltic Sea. We ran on, +followed by the convoy, some of which were eight or ten miles astern of +us, and we were well into the Sound, when the wind gradually died away, +until it fell quite calm, and the heads of the vessels were laid round +the compass. + +My watch was nearly out, when the midshipman, who was looking round with +his glass on the Copenhagen side, reported three gun-boats, sweeping out +from behind a point. I examined them and went down to report them to the +captain. When I came on deck, more were reported, until we counted ten, +two of them large vessels, called praams. The captain now came on deck, +and I reported them. We made the signal of enemy in sight, to the +_Acasta_, which was answered. They divided--six of them pulling along +shore towards the convoy in the rear, and four coming out right for the +brig. The _Acasta_ now made the signal for "Boats manned and armed to be +held in readiness." We hoisted out our pinnace, and lowered down our +cutters--the other men-of-war doing the same. In about a quarter of an +hour the gun-boats opened their fire with their long thirty-two +pounders, and their first shot went right through the hull of the brig, +just abaft the fore-bits; fortunately, no one was hurt. I turned round +to look at the captain; he was as white as a sheet. He caught my eye, +and turned aft, when he was met by Swinburne's eye, steadily fixed upon +him. He then walked to the other side of the deck. Another shot ploughed +up the water close to us, rose, and came through the hammock-netting, +tearing out two of the hammocks, and throwing them on the quarter-deck, +when the _Acasta_ hoisted out pennants, and made the signal to send our +pinnace and cutter to the assistance of vessels astern. The signal was +also made to the _Isis_ and _Reindeer_. I reported the signal, and +inquired who was to take the command. + +"You, Mr Simple, will take the pinnace, and order Mr Swinburne into the +cutter." + +"Mr Swinburne, sir!" replied I; "the brig will, in all probability, be +in action soon, and his services as a gunner will be required." + +"Well, then, Mr Hilton may go. Beat to quarters. Where is Mr +Webster?"[1] The second lieutenant was close to us, and he was ordered +to take the duty during my absence. + +I jumped into the pinnace, and shoved off; ten other boats from the +_Acasta_ and the other men-of-war were pulling in the same direction, +and I joined them. The gun-boats had now opened fire upon the convoy +astern, and were sweeping out to capture them, dividing themselves into +two parts, and pulling towards different portions of the convoy. In half +an hour we were within gunshot of the nearest, which directed its fire +at us; but the lieutenant of the _Acasta_, who commanded the detachment, +ordered us to lie on our oars for a minute, while he divided his force +in three divisions, of four boats each, with instructions that we should +each oppose a division of two gun-boats, by pulling to the outermost +vessel of the convoy, and securing ourselves as much as possible from +the fire, by remaining under her lee, and be in readiness to take them +by boarding, if they approached to capture any of our vessels. + +This was well arranged. I had the command of one division, for the first +lieutenants had not been sent away from the _Isis_ and _Reindeer_, and +having inquired which of the divisions of gun-boats I was to oppose, I +pulled for them. In the meantime, we observed that the two praams, and +two gun-boats, which had remained behind us, and had been firing at the +_Racehorse_, had also divided--one praam attacking the _Acasta_, the two +gun-boats playing upon the _Isis_, and the other praam engaging the +_Rattlesnake_ and _Reindeer_; the latter vessel being in a line with us, +and about half a mile further out, so that she could not return any +effectual fire, or, indeed, receive much damage. The _Rattlesnake_ had +the worst of it, the fire of the praam being chiefly directed to her. At +the distance chosen by the enemy, the frigate's guns reached, but the +other men-of-war, having only two long guns, were not able to return the +fire but with their two, the carronades being useless. + +One of the praams mounted ten guns, and the other eight. The last was +opposed to the _Rattlesnake_, and the fire was kept up very smartly, +particularly by the _Acasta_ and the enemy. In about a quarter of an +hour I arrived with my division close to the vessel which was nearest to +the enemy. It was a large Sunderland-built ship. The gun-boats, which +were within a quarter of a mile of her, sweeping to her as fast as they +could, as soon as they perceived our approach, directed their fire upon +us, but without success, except the last discharge, in which, we being +near enough, they had loaded with grape. The shot fell a little short, +but one piece of grape struck one of the bowmen of the pinnace, taking +off three fingers of his right hand as he was pulling his oar. Before +they could fire again, we were sheltered by the vessel, pulling close to +her side, hid from the enemy. My boat was the only one in the division +which carried a gun, and I now loaded, waiting for the discharge of the +gun-boats, and then, pulling a little ahead of the ship, fired at them, +and then returned under cover to load. This continued for some time, the +enemy not advancing nearer, but now firing into the Sunderland ship, +which protected us. At last the master of the ship looked over the side, +and said to me, "I say, my joker, do you call this _giving me +assistance?_ I think I was better off before you came. Then I had only +my share of the enemy's fire, but now that you have come, I have it all. +I'm riddled like a sieve, and have lost four men already. Suppose you +give me a spell now--pull behind the vessel ahead of us. I'll take my +chance." + +I thought this request very reasonable, and as I should be really nearer +to the enemy if I pulled to the next vessel, and all ready to support +him if attacked, I complied with his wish. I had positive orders not to +board with so small a force (the four boats containing but forty men, +and each gun-boat having at least seventy), unless they advanced to +capture, and then I was to run all risks. + +I pulled up to the other vessel, a large brig, and the captain, as soon +as we came alongside, said, "I see what you're about, and I'll just +leave you my vessel to take care of. No use losing my men, or being +knocked on the head." + +"All's right--you can't do better, and we can't do better either." + +His boat was lowered down, and getting in with his men, he pulled to +another vessel, and lay behind it, all ready to pull back if a breeze +sprang up. + +As was to be expected, the gun-boats shifted their fire to the deserted +vessel, which our boat lay behind; and thus did the action in our +quarter continue until it was dark, the gun-boats not choosing to +advance, and we restricted from pulling out to attack them. There was no +moon, and, as daylight disappeared, the effect was very beautiful. In +the distance, the cannonading of the frigate, and other men-of-war, +answered by the praams and gunboats, reinforced by six more, as we +afterwards found out--the vivid flashing of the guns, reflected by the +water, as smooth as glass--the dark outlines of the numerous convoy, +with their sails hanging down the masts, one portion of the convoy +appearing for a moment, as the guns were discharged in that direction, +and then disappearing, while others were momentarily seen--the roar of +the heavy guns opposed to us--the crashing of the timbers of the brig, +which was struck at every discharge, and very often perforated--with the +whizzing of the shot as it passed by;--all this in a dark yet clear +night, with every star in the heavens twinkling, and, as it were, +looking down upon us, was interesting as well as awful. But I soon +perceived that the gun-boats were nearing us every time that they fired, +and I now discharged grape alone, waiting for the flash of the fire to +ascertain their direction. At last I could perceive their long, low +hulls, not two cables' length from us, and their sweeps lifting from the +water. It was plain that they were advancing to board, and I resolved to +anticipate them if possible. I had fired ahead of the brig, and I now +pulled with all my boats astern, giving my orders to the officers, and +laying on our oars in readiness. The gun-boats were about half a cable's +length from each other, pulling up abreast, and passing us at about the +same distance, when I directed the men to give way. I had determined to +throw all my force upon the nearest boat, and in half a minute our bows +were forced between their sweeps, which we caught hold of to force our +way alongside. + +The resistance of the Danes was very determined. Three times did I +obtain a footing on the deck, and three times was I thrown back into the +boats. At last we had fairly obtained our ground, and were driving them +gradually forward, when, as I ran on the gunwale to obtain a position +more in advance of my men, I received a blow with the butt end of a +musket--I believe on the shoulder--which knocked me overboard, and I +fell between the sweeps, and sunk under the vessel's bottom. I rose +under her stern; but I was so shook with the violence of the blow, that +I was for some time confused; still I had strength to keep myself above +water, and paddled, as it appeared, away from the vessel, until I hit +against a sweep which had fallen overboard. This supported me, and I +gradually recovered myself. The loud report of a gun close to me +startled me, and I perceived that it was from the gun-boat which I had +boarded, and that her head was turned in the direction of the other +gun-boat. From this, with the noise of the sweeps pulling, I knew that +my men had succeeded in capturing her. I hallooed, but they did not hear +me, and I soon lost sight of her. Another gun was now fired; it was from +the other gun-boat retreating, and I perceived her pulling in-shore, for +she passed me not twenty yards off. I now held the sweep with my hands, +and struck out off the shore, in the direction of the convoy. + +A light breeze rippled the water, and I knew that I had no time to lose. +In about five minutes I heard the sound of oars, and perceived a boat +crossing me. I hailed as loud as I could--they heard me, laid on their +oars--and I hailed again--they pulled to me, and took me in. It was the +master of the brig, who, aware of the capture of one gun-boat, and the +retreat of the other, was looking for his vessel; or, as he told me, for +what was left of her. In a short time we found her, and, although very +much cut up, she had received no shot under water. In an hour the breeze +was strong, the cannonading had ceased in every direction, and we had +repaired her damages, so as to be able to make sail, and continue our +course through the Sound. + +Here I may as well relate the events of the action. One of the other +divisions of gun-boats had retreated when attacked by the boats. The +other had beaten off the boats, and killed many of the men, but had +suffered so much themselves, as to retreat without making any capture. +The _Acasta_ lost four men killed, and seven wounded; the _Isis_, three +men wounded; the _Reindeer_ had nobody hurt; the _Rattlesnake_ had six +men killed, and two wounded, including the captain; but of that I shall +speak hereafter. + +I found that I was by no means seriously hurt by the blow I had +received: my shoulder was stiff for a week, and very much discoloured, +but nothing more. When I fell overboard I had struck against a sweep, +which had cut my ear half off. The captain of the brig gave me dry +clothes, and in a few hours I was very comfortably asleep, hoping to +join my ship the next day; but in this I was disappointed. The breeze +was favourable and fresh, and we were clear of the Sound, but a long way +astern of the convoy, and none of the headmost men-of-war to be seen. I +dressed and went on deck, and immediately perceived that I had little +chance of joining my ship until we arrived at Carlscrona, which proved +to be the case. About ten o'clock, the wind died away, and we had from +that time such baffling light winds, that it was six days before we +dropped our anchor, every vessel of the convoy having arrived before us. + +[Footnote 1: Webster, however, had left the ship at Yarmouth. See p. +202.--ED.] + + + + +Chapter LIX + +The dead man attends at the auction of his own effects, and bids the +sale to stop--One more than was wanted--Peter steps into his shoes +again--Captain Hawkins takes a friendly interest in Peter's papers-- +Riga Balsam sternly refused to be admitted for the relief of the ship's +company. + + +As soon as the sails were furled, I thanked the master of the vessel for +his kindness, and requested the boat. He ordered it to be manned, +saying, "How glad your captain will be to see you!" I doubted that. We +shook hands, and I pulled to the _Rattlesnake_, which lay about two +cables' length astern of us. I had put on a jacket, when I left the brig +on service, and coming in a merchantman's boat, no attention was paid to +me; indeed, owing to circumstances, no one was on the look-out, and I +ascended the side unperceived. The men and officers were on the +quarter-deck, attending the sale of dead men's effects before the mast; +and every eye was fixed upon six pair of nankeen trousers exposed by the +purser's steward which I recognized as my own. "Nine shillings for six +pair of nankeen trousers," cried the purser's steward. + +"Come, my men, they're worth more than that," observed the captain, who +appeared to be very facetious. "It's better to be in his trousers than +in his shoes." This brutal remark created a silence for a moment. "Well, +then, steward, let them go. One would think that pulling on his trousers +would make you as afraid as he was," continued the captain, laughing. + +"Shame!" was cried out by one or two of the officers, and I recognised +Swinburne's voice as one. + +"More likely if they put on yours," cried I, in a loud, indignant tone. + +Everybody started, and turned round; Captain Hawkins staggered to a +carronade: "I beg to report myself as having rejoined my ship, sir," +continued I. + +"Hurrah, my lads! three cheers for Mr Simple!" said Swinburne. + +The men gave them with emphasis. The captain looked at me, and without +saying a word, hastily retreated to his cabin. I perceived, as he went +down, that he had his arm in a sling. I thanked the men for their kind +feeling towards me, shook hands with Thompson and Webster, who warmly +congratulated me, and then with old Swinburne, (who nearly wrung my arm +off, and gave my shoulder such pain as to make me cry out,) and with the +others who extended theirs. I desired the sale of my effects to be +stopped; fortunately for me, it had but just begun, and the articles +were all returned. Thompson had informed the captain that he knew my +father's address, and would take charge of my clothes, and send them +home, but the captain would not allow him. + +In a few minutes, I received a letter from the captain, desiring me to +acquaint him in writing, for the information of the senior officer, in +what manner I had escaped. I went down below, when I found one very +melancholy face, that of the passed midshipman of the _Acasta_, who had +received an acting order in my place. When I went to my desk, I found +two important articles missing; one, my private letter-book, and the +other, the journal which I kept of what passed, and from which this +narrative has been compiled. I inquired of my messmates, who stated that +the desk had not been looked into by any one but the captain, who, of +course, must have possessed himself of those important documents. + +I wrote a letter containing a short narrative of what had happened, and, +at the same time, another on service to the captain, requesting that he +would deliver up my property, the private journal, and letter-book in +his possession. The captain, as soon as he received my letters, sent up +word for his boat to be manned. As soon as it was manned, I reported it, +and then begged to know whether he intended to comply with my request. +He answered that he should not, and then went on deck, and quitted the +brig to pull on board of the senior officer. I therefore determined +immediately to write to the captain of the _Acasta_, acquainting him +with the conduct of Captain Hawkins, and requesting his interference. +This I did immediately, and the boat that had brought me on board not +having left the brig, I sent the letter by it, requesting them to put it +into the hands of one of the officers. The letter was received previous +to Captain Hawkins' visit being over, and the Captain of the _Acasta_ +put it into his hands, inquiring if the statement were correct. Captain +Hawkins replied that it was true that he had detained these papers, as +there was so much mutiny and disaffection in them, and that he should +not return them to me. + +"That I cannot permit," replied the captain of the _Acasta_, who was +aware of the character of Captain Hawkins; "if, by mistake, you have +been put in possession of any of Mr Simple's secrets, you are bound in +honour not to make use of them; neither can you retain property not your +own." But Captain Hawkins was determined, and refused to give them to +me. + +"Well, then, Captain Hawkins," replied the captain of the _Acasta_, "you +will oblige me by remaining on my quarter-deck till I come out of the +cabin." + +The captain of the _Acasta_ then wrote an order, directing Captain +Hawkins immediately to deliver up _to him_ the papers of mine in his +possession; and coming out of the cabin, put it into Captain Hawkins' +hands, saying, "Now, sir, here is a written order from your superior +officer. Disobey it, if you dare. If you do, I will put you under +arrest, and try you by a court-martial. I can only regret, that any +captain in His Majesty's service should be forced in this way to do his +duty as a gentleman and a man of honour." + +Captain Hawkins bit his lip at the order, and the cutting remarks +accompanying it. "Your boat is manned, sir," said the captain of the +_Acasta_, in a severe tone. Captain Hawkins came on board, sealed up the +books, and sent them to the captain of the _Acasta_, who re-directed +them to me, on His Majesty's service, and returned them by the same +boat. The public may therefore thank the captain of the _Acasta_ for the +memoirs which they are now reading. + +From my messmates I gained the following intelligence of what had passed +after I had quitted the brig. The fire of the praam had cut them up +severely, and Captain Hawkins had been struck in the arm with a piece of +the hammock-rail, which had been shot away shortly after I left. +Although the skin only was razed, he thought proper to consider himself +badly wounded; and giving up the command to Mr Webster, the second +lieutenant, had retreated below, where he remained until the action was +over. When Mr Webster reported the return of the boats, with the capture +of the gun-boat, and my supposed death, he was so delighted, that he +quite forgot his wound, and ran on deck, rubbing his hands as he walked +up and down. At last, he recollected himself, went down into his cabin, +and came up again with his arm in a sling. + +The next morning he went on board of the _Acasta_, and made his report +to the senior officer, bringing back with him the disappointed +passed-midshipman as my successor. He had also stated on the +quarter-deck, that if I had not been killed, he intended to have tried +me by a court-martial, and have turned me out of the service; that he +had quite enough charges to ruin me, for he had been collecting them +ever since I had been under his command; and that now he would make that +old scoundrel of a gunner repent his intimacy with me. All this was +confided to the surgeon, who, as I before observed, was very much of a +courtier; but the surgeon had repeated it to Thompson, the master, who +now gave me the information. There was one advantage in all this, which +was that I knew exactly the position in which I stood, and what I had to +expect. + +During the short time that we remained in port, I took care that _Riga +balsam_ should not be allowed to come alongside, and the men were all +sober. We received orders from the captain of the _Acasta_ to join the +admiral, who was off the Texel in pursuance of directions he had +received from the Admiralty to despatch one of the squadron, and we were +selected, from the dislike which he had taken to Captain Hawkins. + + + + +Chapter LX + +An old friend in a new case--Heart of oak in Swedish fur--A man's a man +all the world over, and something more in many parts of it--Peter gets +reprimanded for being dilatory, but proves a title to a defence-- +Allowed. + +When we were about forty miles off the harbour, a frigate hove in sight. +We made the private signal: she hoisted Swedish colours, and kept away a +couple of points to close with us. + +We were within two miles of her when she up courses and took in her +topgallant sails. As we closed to within two cables' lengths, she +hove-to. We did the same; and the captain desired me to lower down the +boat, and board her, ask her name, by whom she was commanded, and offer +any assistance if the captain required it. This was the usual custom of +the service, and I went on board in obedience to my orders. When I +arrived on the quarter-deck, I asked in French, whether there was any +one who spoke it. The first lieutenant came forward, and took off his +hat: I stated that I was requested to ask the name of the vessel and the +commanding officer, to insert it in our log, and to offer any service +that we could command. He replied that the captain was on deck, and +turned round, but the captain had gone down below. "I will inform him of +your message--I had no idea that he had quitted the deck;" and the first +lieutenant left me. I exchanged a few compliments and a little news with +the officers on deck, who appeared to be very gentlemanlike fellows, +when the first lieutenant requested my presence in the cabin. I +descended--the door was opened--I was announced by the first lieutenant, +and he quitted the cabin. I looked at the captain, who was sitting at +the table: he was a fine, stout man, with two or three ribands at his +button-hole, and a large pair of moustachios. I thought that I had seen +him before, but I could not recollect when: his face was certainly +familiar to me, but, as I had been informed by the officers on deck, +that the captain was a Count Shucksen, a person I had never heard of, I +thought that I must be mistaken. I therefore addressed him in French, +paying him a long compliment, with all the necessary _et ceteras_. + +The captain turned round to me, took his hand away from his forehead, +which it had shaded, and looking me full in the face, replied, "Mr +Simple, I don't understand but very little French. Spin your yarn in +plain English." + +I started--"I thought that I knew your face," replied I; "am I +mistaken?--no, it must be--Mr Chucks!" + +"You are right, my dear Mr Simple: it is your old friend, Chucks, the +boatswain, whom you now see. I knew you as soon as you came up the side, +and I was afraid that you would immediately recognize me, and I slipped +down into the cabin (for which apparent rudeness allow me to apologise), +that you might not explain before the officers." + +We shook hands heartily, and then he requested me to sit down. "But," +said I, "they told me on deck that the frigate was commanded by a Count +Shucksen." + +"That is my present rank, my dear Peter," said he; "but as you have no +time to lose, I will explain all. I know I can trust to your honour. You +remember that you left me, as you and I supposed, dying in the +privateer, with the captain's jacket and epaulettes on my shoulders. +When the boats came out, and you left the vessel, they boarded and found +me. I was still breathing; and judging of my rank by the coat, they put +me into the boat, and pushed on shore. The privateer sank very shortly +after. I was not expected to live, but in a few days a change took +place, and I was better. They asked me my name, and I gave my own, which +they lengthened into Shucksen, somehow or another. I recovered by a +miracle, and am now as well as ever I was in my life. They were not a +little proud of having captured a captain in the British service, as +they supposed, for they never questioned me as to my real rank. After +some weeks I was sent home to Denmark in a running vessel; but it so +happened, that we met with a gale, and were wrecked on the Swedish +coast, close to Carlscrona. The Danes were at that time at war, having +joined the Russians; and they were made prisoners, while I was of course +liberated, and treated with great distinction; but as I could not speak +either French or their own language, I could not get on very well. +However, I had a handsome allowance, and permission to go to England as +soon as I pleased. The Swedes were then at war with the Russians, and +were fitting out their fleet; but, Lord bless them! they didn't know +much about it. I amused myself walking in the dockyard, and looking at +their motions; but they had not thirty men in the fleet who knew what +they were about, and, as for a man to set them going, there wasn't one. +Well, Peter, you know I could not be idle, and so by degrees I told one, +and then told another--until they went the right way to work; and the +captains and officers were very much obliged to me. At last, they all +came to me, and if they did not understand me entirely, I showed them +how to do it with my own hands; and the fleet began to make a show with +their rigging. The admiral who commanded was very much obliged, and I +seemed to come as regularly to my work as if I was paid for it. At last, +the admiral came with an English interpreter, and asked me whether I was +anxious to go back to England, or would I like to join their service. I +saw what they wanted, and I replied that I had neither wife nor child in +England, and that I liked their country very much; but I must take time +to consider of it, and must also know what they had to propose. I went +home to my lodgings, and, to make them more anxious, I did not make my +appearance at the dockyard for three or four days, when a letter came +from the admiral, offering me the command of a frigate if I would join +their service. I replied, (for I knew how much they wanted me,) that I +would prefer an English frigate to a Swedish one, and that I would not +consent unless they offered something more; and then, with the express +stipulation that I should not take arms against my own country. They +then waited for a week, when they offered to make me a _Count_, and give +me the command of a frigate. This suited me, as you may suppose, Peter; +it was the darling wish of my heart--I was to be made a gentleman. I +consented, and was made Count Shucksen, and had a fine large frigate +under my command. I then set to work with a will, superintended the +fitting out of the whole fleet, and showed them what an Englishman could +do. We sailed, and you of course know the brush we had with the +Russians, which, I must say, did us no discredit. I was fortunate to +distinguish myself, for I exchanged several broadsides with a Russian +two-deck ship, and came off with honour. When we went into port I got +this riband. I was out afterwards, and fell in with a Russian frigate, +and captured her, for which I received this other riband. Since that I +have been in high favour, and now that I speak the languages, I like the +people very much. I am often at court when I am in harbour; and, Peter, +I am _married_." + +"I wish you joy, count, with all my heart." + +"Yes, and well married too--to a Swedish countess of very high family, +and I expect that I have a little boy or girl by this time. So you +observe, Peter, that I am at last a gentleman, and, what is more, my +children will be noble by two descents. Who would have thought that this +would have been occasioned by my throwing the captain's jacket into the +boat instead of my own? And now, my dear Mr Simple, that I have made you +my confidant, I need not say, do not say a word about it to anybody. +They certainly could not do me much harm, but still, they might do me +some; and although I am not likely to meet any one who may recognize me +in this uniform and these moustachios, it's just as well to keep the +secret, which to you and O'Brien only would I have confided." + +"My dear count," replied I, "your secret is safe with me. You have come +to your title before me, at all events; and I sincerely wish you joy, +for you have obtained it honourably; but, although I would like to talk +with you for days, I must return on board, for I am now sailing with a +very unpleasant captain." + +I then, in a few words, stated where O'Brien was; and when we parted, I +went with him on deck, Count Shucksen taking my arm, and introducing me +as an old shipmate to his officers. "I hope we may meet again," said I, +"but I am afraid there is little chance." + +"Who knows?" replied he; "see what chance has done for me. My dear +Peter, God bless you! You are one of the very few whom I always loved. +God bless you, my boy! and never forget that all I have is at your +command if you come my way." + +I thanked him, and saluting the officers, went down the side. As I +expected, when I came on board, the captain demanded, in an angry tone, +why I had stayed so long. I replied, that I was shown down into Count +Shucksen's cabin, and he conversed so long, that I could not get away +sooner, as it would not have been polite to have left him before he had +finished his questions. I then gave a very civil message, and the +captain said no more; the very name of a great man always silenced him. + + + + +Chapter LXI + +Bad news from home, and worse on board--Notwithstanding his previous +trials, Peter forced to prepare for another--Mrs Trotter again; improves +as she grows old--Captain Hawkins and his twelve charges. + + +No other event of consequence occurred until we joined the admiral, who +only detained us three hours with the fleet, and then sent us home with +his despatches. We arrived, after a quiet passage, at Portsmouth, where +I wrote immediately to my sister Ellen, requesting to know the state of +my father's health. I waited impatiently for an answer, and by return of +post received one with a black seal. My father had died the day before +from a brain fever; and Ellen conjured me to obtain leave of absence, to +come to her in her state of distress. The captain came on board the next +morning, and I had a letter ready written on service to the admiral, +stating the circumstances, and requesting leave of absence. I presented +it to him, and entreated him to forward it. At any other time I would +not have condescended, but the thoughts of my poor sister, unprotected +and alone, with my father lying dead in the house, made me humble and +submissive. Captain Hawkins read the letter, and very coolly replied, +"that it was very easy to say that my father was dead, but he required +proofs." Even this insult did not affect me; I put my sister's letter +into his hand--he read it, and as he returned it to me, he smiled +maliciously. "It is impossible for me to forward your letter, Mr Simple, +as I have one to deliver to you." + +He put a large folio packet into my hand, and went below. I opened it: +it was a copy of a letter demanding a court-martial upon me, with a long +list of the charges preferred by him. I was stupefied, not so much at +his asking for a court-martial, but at the conviction of the +impossibility of my now being able to go to the assistance of my poor +sister. I went down into the gunroom and threw myself on a chair, at the +same time tossing the letter to Thompson, the master. He read it over +carefully, and folded it up. + +"Upon my word, Simple, I do not see that you have much to fear. These +charges are very frivolous." + +"No, no--that I care little about; but it is my poor sister. I had +written for leave of absence, and now she is left, God knows how long, +in such distressing circumstances." + +Thompson looked grave. "I had forgotten your father's death, Simple: it +is indeed cruel. I would offer to go myself, but you will want my +evidence at the court-martial. It can't be helped. Write to your sister, +and keep up her spirits. Tell her why you cannot come, and that it will +all end well." + +I did so, and went early to bed, for I was really ill. The next morning, +the official letter from the port-admiral came off, acquainting me that +a court-martial had been ordered upon me, and that it would take place +that day week. I immediately resigned the command to the second +lieutenant, and commenced an examination into the charges preferred. +They were very numerous, and dated back almost to the very day that he +had joined the ship. There were twelve in all. I shall not trouble the +reader with the whole of them, as many were very frivolous. The +principal charges were-- + +1. For mutinous and disrespectful conduct to Captain Hawkins, on such a +date, having, in a conversation with an inferior officer on the +quarter-deck, stated that Captain Hawkins was a spy, and had spies in +the ship. + +2. For neglect of duty, in disobeying the orders of Captain Hawkins on +the night of the ---- of ----. + +3. For having, on the ---- of ----, sent away two boats from the ship, +in +direct opposition to the orders of Captain Hawkins. + +4. For having again, on the morning of the ---- of ----, held mutinous +and disrespectful conversation relative to Captain Hawkins with the +gunner of the ship, allowing the latter to accuse Captain Hawkins of +cowardice, without reporting the same. + +5. For insulting expressions on the quarter-deck to Captain Hawkins on +his rejoining the brig on the morning of the ---- of ----. + +6. For not causing the orders of Captain Hawkins to be put in force on +several occasions, &c. &c. &c. + +And further, as Captain Hawkins' testimony was necessary in two of the +charges, the king, on _those charges,_ was the prosecutor. Although most +of these charges were frivolous, yet I at once perceived my danger. Some +were dated back many months, to the time before our ship's company had +been changed: and I could not find the necessary witnesses. Indeed, in +all but the recent charges, not expecting to be called to a +court-martial, I had serious difficulties to contend with. But the most +serious was the first charge, which I knew not how to get over. +Swinburne had most decidedly referred to the captain when he talked of +spy captains. However, with the assistance of Thompson, I made the best +defence I could, ready for my trial. + +Two days before my court-martial I received a letter from Ellen, who +appeared in a state of distraction from this accumulation of misfortune. +She told me that my father was to be buried the next day, and that the +new rector had written to her, to know when it would be convenient for +the vicarage to be given up. That my father's bills had been sent in, +and amounted to twelve hundred pounds already; and that she knew not the +extent of the whole claims. There appeared to be nothing left but the +furniture of the house; and she wanted to know whether the debts were to +be paid with the money I had left in the funds for her use. I wrote +immediately, requesting her to liquidate every claim, as far as my money +went, sending her an order upon my agent to draw for the whole amount, +and a power of attorney to him to sell out the stock. + +I had just sealed the letter, when Mrs Trotter, who had attended the +ship since our return to Portsmouth, begged to speak with me, and walked +in after her message, without waiting for an answer. "My dear Mr +Simple," said she, "I know all that is going on, and I find that you +have no lawyer to assist you. Now I know that it is necessary, and will +very probably be of great service in your defence--for when people are +in distress and anxiety, they have not their wits about them; so I have +brought a friend of mine from Portsea, a very clever man, who, for my +sake, will undertake your cause, and I hope you will not refuse him. You +recollect giving me a dozen pair of stockings. I did not refuse them, +nor shall you refuse me now. I always said to Mr Trotter, 'Go to a +lawyer;' and if he had taken my advice he would have done well. I +recollect, when a hackney-coachman smashed the panel of our carriage-- +'Trotter,' says I, 'go to a lawyer;' and he very politely answered, 'Go +to the devil!' But what was the consequence!--he's dead and I'm +bumming. Now, Mr Simple, will you oblige me?--it's all free gratis for +nothing--not for nothing, for it's for my sake. You see, Mr Simple, I +have admirers yet," concluded she, smiling. + +Mrs Trotter's advice was good; and although I would not listen to +receiving his services gratuitously, I agreed to employ him; and very +useful did he prove against such charges, and such a man as Captain +Hawkins. He came on board that afternoon, carefully examined into all +the documents and the witnesses whom I could bring forward, showed me +the weak side of my defence, and took the papers on shore with him. +Every day he came on board to collect fresh evidence and examine into my +case. + +At last the day arrived. I dressed myself in my best uniform. The gun +fired from the admiral's ship, with the signal for a court-martial at +nine o'clock; and I went on board in a boat, with all the witnesses. On +my arrival, I was put under the custody of the provost-marshal. The +captains ordered to attend pulled alongside one after another, and were +received by a party of marines, presenting their arms. + +At half-past nine the court was all assembled, and I was ushered in. +Courts-martial are open courts, although no one is permitted to print +the evidence. At the head of the long table was the admiral, as +president; on his right hand, standing, was Captain Hawkins, as +prosecutor. On each side of the table were six captains, sitting near to +the admiral, according to their seniority. At the bottom, facing the +admiral, was the judge-advocate, on whose left hand I stood, as +prisoner. The witnesses called in to be examined were stationed on his +right; and behind him, by the indulgence of the court, was a small +table, at which sat my legal adviser, so close as to be able to +communicate with me. The court were all sworn, and then took their +seats. Stauncheons, with ropes covered with green baize, passed along, +were behind the chairs of the captains who composed the court, so that +they might not be crowded upon by those who came in to listen to what +passed. The charges were then read, as well as the letters to and from +the admiral, by which the court-martial was demanded and granted: and +then Captain Hawkins was desired to open his prosecution. He commenced +with observing his great regret that he had been forced to a measure so +repugnant to his feelings; his frequent cautions to me, and the +indifference with which I treated them; and, after a preamble composed +of every falsity that could be devised, he commenced with the first +charge, and stating himself to be the witness, gave his evidence. When +it was finished, I was asked if I had any questions to put. By the +advice of my lawyer, I replied, "No." The president then asked the +captains composing the court-martial, commencing according to their +seniority, whether they wished to ask any questions. + +"I wish," said the second captain who was addressed, "to ask Captain +Hawkins whether, when he came on deck, he came up in the usual way in +which a captain of a man-of-war comes on his quarter-deck, or whether he +slipped up without noise?" + +Captain Hawkins declared that he came up as he _usually did._ This was +true enough, for he invariably came up by stealth. + +"Pray, Captain Hawkins, as you have repeated a good deal of conversation +which passed between the first lieutenant and the gunner, may I ask you +how long you were by their side without their perceiving you?" + +"A very short time," was the answer. + +"But, Captain Hawkins, do you not think, allowing that you came up on +deck in your _usual_ way, as you term it, that you would have done +better to have hemmed or hawed, so as to let your officers know that you +were present? I should be very sorry to hear all that might be said of +me in my supposed absence." + +To this observation Captain Hawkins replied, that he was so astonished +at the conversation, that he was quite breathless, having, till then, +had the highest opinion of me. + +No more questions were asked, and they proceeded to the second charge. +This was a very trifling one--for lighting a stove, contrary to orders; +the evidence brought forward was the sergeant of marines. When his +evidence in favour of the charge had been given, I was asked by the +president if I had any questions to put to the witness. I put the +following:-- + +"Did you repeat to Captain Hawkins that I had ordered the stove to be +lighted?"--"I did." + +"Are you not in the custom of reporting, direct to the captain, any +negligence, or disobedience of orders, you may witness in the ship?"--"I +am." + +"Did you ever report anything of the sort to me, as first lieutenant, or +do you always report direct to the captain?" + +"I always report direct to the captain." + +"By the captain's orders?"--"Yes." + +The following questions were then put by some of the members of the +court:-- + +"You have served in other ships before?"--"Yes." + +"Did you ever, sailing with other captains, receive an order from them +to report direct to them, and not through the first lieutenant?" The +witness here prevaricated. + +"Answer directly, yes or no."--"No." + +The third charge was then brought forward--for sending away boats +contrary to express orders. This was substantiated by Captain Hawkins' +own evidence, the order having been verbal. By the advice of my counsel, +I put no questions to Captain Hawkins, neither did the court. + +The fourth charge--that of holding mutinous conversation with the +gunner, and allowing him to accuse the captain of unwillingness to +engage the enemy--was then again substantiated by Captain Hawkins, as +the only witness. I again left my reply for my defence; and only one +question was put by one of the members, which was, to inquire of Captain +Hawkins, as he appeared peculiarly unfortunate in overhearing +conversations, whether he walked up as usual to the taffrail, or whether +he _crept up._ Captain Hawkins gave the same answer as before. + +The fifth charge--for insulting expressions to Captain Hawkins, on my +rejoining the brig at Carlscrona--was then brought forward, and the +sergeant of marines and one of the seamen appeared as witnesses. This +charge excited a great deal of amusement. In the cross-examination by +the members of the court, Captain Hawkins was asked what he meant by the +expression, when disposing of the clothes of an officer who was killed +in action, that the men appeared to think that his trousers would instil +fear. + +"Nothing more, upon my honour, sir," replied Captain Hawkins, "than an +implication that they were alarmed lest they should be haunted by his +ghost." + +"Then, of course, Mr Simple meant the same in his reply," observed the +captain sarcastically. + +The remainder of the charges were then brought forward, but they were of +little consequence. The witnesses were chiefly the sergeant of marines, +and the spy-glass of Captain Hawkins, who had been watching me from the +shore. + +It was late in the afternoon before they were all gone through; and the +president then adjourned the court, that I might bring forward my own +witnesses, in my defence, on the following day, and I returned on board +the _Rattlesnake_. + + + + +Chapter LXII + +A good defence not always good against a bad accusation--Peter wins +the heart of his judges, yet loses his cause, and is dismissed his ship. + + +The next day I commenced my defence, and I preferred calling my own +witnesses first, and, by the advice of my counsel, and at the request of +Swinburne, I called him. I put the following questions:--"When we were +talking on the quarter-deck, was it fine weather?"--"Yes, it was." + +"Do you think that you might have heard any one coming on deck, in the +usual way, up the companion ladder?" + +"Sure of it." + +"Do you mean, then, to imply that Captain Hawkins came up stealthily?" + +"I have an idea he pounced upon us as a cat does on a mouse." + +"What were the expressions made use of?" + +"I said that a spy captain would always find spy followers." + +"In that remark were you and Mr Simple referring to your own captain?"-- + +"The remark was mine. What Mr Simple was thinking of, I can't tell; but +I _did_ refer to the captain, and he has proved that I was right." This +bold answer of Swinburne's rather astonished the court, who commenced +cross-questioning him; but he kept to his original assertion--that I had +only answered generally. To repel the second charge I produced no +witnesses; but to the third charge I brought forward three witnesses to +prove that Captain Hawkins's orders were that I should send no boats on +shore, not that I should not send them on board of the men-of-war close +to us. In answer to the fourth charge, I called Swinburne, who stated +that if I did not, he would come forward. Swinburne acknowledged that he +accused the captain of being shy, and that I reprimanded him for so +doing. "Did he say that he would report you?" inquired one of the +captains. "No, sir," replied Swinburne, "'cause he never meant to do +it." This was an unfortunate answer. + +To the fifth charge, I brought several witnesses to prove the words of +Captain Hawkins, and the sense in which they were taken by the ship's +company, and the men calling out "Shame!" when he used the expression. + +To refute the other charges I called one or two witnesses, and the court +then adjourned, inquiring of me when I would be ready to commence my +defence. I requested a day to prepare, which was readily granted; and +the ensuing day the court did not sit. I hardly need say that I was +busily employed, arranging my defence with my counsel. At last all was +done, and I went to bed tired and unhappy; but I slept soundly, which +could not be said of my counsel, for he went on shore at eleven o'clock, +and sat up all night making a fair copy. After all, the fairest court of +justice is a naval court-martial--no brow-beating of witnesses, an +evident inclination towards the prisoner--every allowance and every +favour granted him, and no legal quibbles attended to. It is a court of +equity, with very few exceptions; and the humbler the individual, the +greater the chance in his favour. + +I was awoke the following morning by my counsel, who had not gone to bed +the previous night, and who had come off at seven o'clock to read over +with me my defence. At nine o'clock I again proceeded on board, and in a +short time the court was sitting. I came in, handed my defence to the +judge-advocate, who read it aloud to the court. I have a copy still by +me, and will give the whole of it to the reader. + +"Mr President and Gentlemen,--After nearly fourteen years' service in +his Majesty's navy, during which I have been twice made prisoner, twice +wounded, and once wrecked; and, as I trust I shall prove to you, by +certificates and the public despatches, I have done my duty with zeal +and honour; I now find myself in a situation in which I never expected +to be placed--that of being arraigned before and brought to a +court-martial for charges of mutiny, disaffection, and disrespect +towards my superior officer. If the honourable court will examine the +certificates I am about to produce, they will find that, until I sailed +with Captain Hawkins, my conduct has always been supposed to have been +diametrically opposite to that which is now imputed to me. I have always +been diligent and obedient to command; and I have only to regret that +the captains with whom I have had the honour to sail are not now present +to corroborate by their oral evidence the truth of these documents. +Allow me, in the first place, to point out to the court, that the +charges against me are spread over a large space of time, amounting to +nearly eighteen months, during the whole of which period Captain Hawkins +never stated to me that it was his intention to try me by a +court-martial; and, although repeatedly in the presence of a senior +officer, has never preferred any charge against me. The articles of war +state expressly that if any officer, soldier, or marine has any +complaint to make he is to do so upon his arrival at any port or fleet +where he may fall in with a superior officer. I admit that this article +of war refers to complaints to be made by inferiors against superiors; +but, at the same time, I venture to submit to the honourable court that +a superior is equally bound to prefer a charge, or to give notice that +the charge will be preferred, on the first seasonable opportunity, +instead of lulling the offender into security, and disarming him in his +defence, by allowing the time to run on so long as to render him +incapable of bringing forward his witnesses. I take the liberty of +calling this to your attention, and shall now proceed to answer the +charges which have been brought against me. + +"I am accused of having held a conversation with an inferior officer on +the quarter-deck of his Majesty's brig _Rattlesnake_, in which my +captain was treated with contempt. That it may not be supposed that Mr +Swinburne was a new acquaintance, made upon my joining the brig, I must +observe that he was an old shipmate, with whom I had served many years, +and with whose worth I was well acquainted. He was my instructor in my +more youthful days, and has been rewarded for his merit, with the +warrant which he now holds as gunner of His Majesty's brig +_Rattlesnake_. The offensive observation, in the first place, was not +mine; and, in the second, it was couched in general terms. Here Mr +Swinburne has pointedly confessed that _he_ did refer to the captain, +although the observation was in the plural; but that does not prove the +charge against me--on the contrary, adds weight to the assertion of Mr +Swinburne, that I was guiltless of the present charge. That Captain +Hawkins has acted as a spy, his own evidence on this charge, as well as +that brought forward by other witnesses, will decidedly prove; but as +the truth of the observation does not warrant the utterance, I am glad +that no such expression escaped my lips. + +"Upon the second charge I shall dwell but a short time. It is true that +there is a general order that no stoves shall be alight after a certain +hour; but I will appeal to the honourable court, whether a first +lieutenant is not considered to have a degree of licence of judgment in +all that concerns the interior discipline of the ship. The surgeon sent +to say that a stove was required for one of the sick. I was in bed at +the time, and replied immediately in the affirmative. Does Captain +Hawkins mean to assert to the honourable court, that he would have +refused the request of the surgeon? Most certainly not. The only error I +committed, if it were an error, was not going through the form of +awaking Captain Hawkins, to ask the permission, which, as first +lieutenant, I thought myself authorized to give. + +"The charge against me, of having sent away two boats, contrary to his +order, I have already disproved by witnesses. The order of Captain +Hawkins was, not to communicate with the shore. My reasons for sending +away the boats"--(Here Captain Hawkins interposed, and stated to the +president that my reasons were not necessary to be received. The court +was cleared, and, on our return, the court had decided, that my reasons +ought to be given, and I continued.) "My reasons for sending away these +boats, or rather it was one boat which was despatched to the two +frigates, if I remember well, were, that the brig was in a state of +mutiny. The captain had tied up one of the men, and the ship's company +refused to be flogged. Captain Hawkins then went on shore to the +admiral, to report the situation of his ship, and I conceived it my duty +to make it known to the men-of-war anchored close to us. I shall not +enter into further particulars, as they will only detain the honourable +court; and I am aware that this court-martial is held upon my conduct, +and not upon that of Captain Hawkins. To the charge of again holding +disrespectful language on the quarter-deck, as overheard by Captain. +Hawkins, I must refer the honourable court to the evidence, in which it +is plainly proved that the remarks upon him were not mine, but those of +Mr Swinburne, and that I remonstrated with Mr Swinburne for using such +unguarded expressions. The only point of difficulty is, whether it was +not my duty to have reported such language. I reply, that there is no +proof that I did not intend to report it; but the presence of Captain +Hawkins, who heard what was said, rendered such report unnecessary. + +"On the fifth charge, I must beg that the court will be pleased to +consider that some allowance ought to be made for a moment of +irritation. My character was traduced by Captain Hawkins, supposing that +I was dead; so much so, that even the ship's company cried out _shame._ +I am aware, that no language of a superior officer can warrant a retort +from an inferior; but, as what I intended to imply by that language is +not yet known, although Captain Hawkins has given an explanation to his, +I shall merely say, that I meant no more by my insinuations, than +Captain Hawkins did at the time, by those which he made use of with +respect to me. + +"Upon the other trifling charges brought forward, I lay no stress, as I +consider them fully refuted by the evidence which has been already +adduced; and I shall merely observe, that, for reasons best known to +himself, I have been met with a most decided hostility on the part of +Captain Hawkins, from the time that he first joined the ship; that, on +every occasion, he has used all his efforts to render me uncomfortable, +and embroil me with others; that, not content with narrowly watching my +conduct on board, he has resorted to his spy-glass from the shore; and, +instead of assisting me in the execution of a duty sufficiently arduous, +he has thrown every obstacle in my way, placed inferior officers as +spies over my conduct, and made me feel so humiliated in the presence of +the ship's company, over which I have had to superintend, and in the +disciplining of which I had a right to look to him for support, that, +were it not that some odium would necessarily be attached to the +sentence, I should feel it as one of the happiest events of my life that +I were dismissed from the situation which I now hold under his command. +I now beg that the honourable court will allow the documents I lay upon +the table to be read in support of my character." + +When this was over, the court was cleared, that they might decide upon +the sentence. I waited about half an hour in the greatest anxiety, when +I was again summoned to attend. The usual forms of reading the papers +were gone through, and then came the sentence, which was read by the +president, he and the whole court standing up with their cocked hats on +their heads. After the preamble, it concluded with saying, "that it was +the opinion of that court that the charges had been _partly_ proved, and +therefore, that Lieutenant Peter Simple was dismissed his ship; but, in +consideration of his good character and services, his case was strongly +recommended to the consideration of the Lords Commissioners of the +Admiralty." + + + + +Chapter LXIII + +Peter looks upon his loss as something gained--Goes on board the +_Rattlesnake_ to pack up, and is ordered to pack off--Polite +leave-taking between relations. Mrs Trotter better and better--Goes to +London, and afterwards falls into all manner of misfortunes by the hands +of robbers, and of his own uncle. + + +I hardly knew whether I felt glad or sorry at this sentence. On the one +hand, it was almost a deathblow to my future advancement or employment +in the service; on the other, the recommendation very much softened down +the sentence, and I was quite happy to be quit of Captain Hawkins, and +free to hasten to my poor sister. I bowed respectfully to the court, +which immediately adjourned. Captain Hawkins followed the captains on +the quarter-deck, but none of them would speak to him--so much to his +disadvantage had come out during the trial. + +About ten minutes afterwards, one of the elder captains composing the +court called me into the cabin. "Mr Simple," said he, "we are all very +sorry for you. Our sentence could not be more lenient, under the +circumstances: it was that conversation with the gunner at the taffrail +which floored you. It must be a warning to you to be more careful in +future, how you permit any one to speak of the conduct of your superiors +on the quarter-deck. I am desired by the president to let you know that +it is our intention to express ourselves very strongly to the admiral in +your behalf; so much so, that if another captain applies for you, you +will have no difficulty in being appointed to a ship; and as for leaving +your present ship, under any other circumstances I should consider it a +matter of congratulation." + +I returned my sincere thanks, and soon afterwards quitted the +guard-ship, and went on board of the brig to pack up my clothes, and +take leave of my messmates. On my arrival, I found that Captain Hawkins +had preceded me, and he was on deck when I came up the side. I hastened +down into the gun-room, where I received the condolements of my +messmates. + +"Simple, I wish you joy," cried Thompson, loud enough for the captain to +hear on deck. "I wish I had your luck; I wish somebody would try me by a +court-martial." + +"As it has turned out," replied I, in a loud voice, "and after the +communication made to me by the captains composing the court, of what +they intend to say to the Admiralty, I agree with you, Thompson, that it +is a very kind act on the part of Captain Hawkins, and I feel quite +grateful to them." + +"Steward, come--glasses," cried Thompson, "and let us drink success to +Mr Simple." + +All this was very annoying to Captain Hawkins, who overheard every word. +When our glasses were filled--"Simple, your good health, and may I meet +with as good a messmate," said Thompson. + +At this moment, the sergeant of marines put his head in at the gun-room +door, and said, in a most insolent tone, that I was to leave the ship +immediately. I was so irritated, that I threw my glass of grog in his +face, and he ran up to the captain to make the complaint; but I did not +belong to the ship, and even if I had, I would have resented such +impertinence. + +Captain Hawkins was in a great rage, and I believe would have written +for another court-martial, but he had had enough of them. He inquired +very particularly of the sergeant whether he had told me that I was to +leave the ship directly, or whether, that Captain Hawkins desired that I +should leave the ship immediately; and finding that he had not given the +latter message (which I was aware of, for had he given it, I dare not +have acted as I did); he then sent down again by one of the midshipmen, +desiring me to leave the ship immediately. My reply was, that I should +certainly obey his orders with the greatest pleasure. I hastened to pack +up my clothes, reported myself ready to the second lieutenant, who went +up for permission to man a boat, which was refused by Captain Hawkins, +who said I might go on shore in a shore-boat. I called one alongside, +shook hands with all my messmates, and when I arrived on the +quarter-deck, with Swinburne, and some of the best men, who came +forward; Captain Hawkins stood by the binnacle, bursting with rage. As I +went over the planeshear, I took my hat off to him, and wished him +good-morning very respectfully, adding, "If you have any commands for my +_uncle_, Captain Hawkins, I shall be glad to execute them." + +This observation, which showed him that I knew the connection and +correspondence between them, made him gasp with emotion. "Leave the +ship, sir, or by God I'll put you in irons for mutiny," cried he. I +again took off my hat, and went down the side, and shoved off. + +As soon as I was a few yards distant, the men jumped on the carronades +and cheered, and I perceived Captain Hawkins order them down, and before +I was a cable's length from her, the pipe "all hands to punishment;" so +I presume some of the poor fellows suffered for their insubordination in +showing their good will. I acknowledge that I might have left the ship +in a more dignified manner, and that my conduct was not altogether +correct; but still, I state what I really did do, and some allowance +must be made for my feelings. This is certain, that my conduct after the +court-martial, was more deserving of punishment, than that for which I +had been tried. But I was in a state of feverish excitement, and hardly +knew what I did. + +When I arrived at Sally Port, I had my effects wheeled up to the Blue +Posts, and packing up those which I most required, I threw off my +uniform, and was once more a gentleman at large. I took my place in the +mail for that evening, sent a letter of thanks, with a few bank notes, +to my counsel, and then sat down and wrote a long letter to O'Brien, +acquainting him with the events which had taken place. + +I had just finished, and sealed it up, when in came Mrs Trotter. "Oh my +dear Mr Simple! I'm so sorry, and I have come to console you. There's +nothing like women when men are in affliction, as poor Trotter used to +say, as he laid his head in my lap. When do you go to town?" + +"This evening, Mrs Trotter." + +"I hope I am to continue to attend the ship?" + +"I hope so too, Mrs Trotter, I have no doubt but you will." + +"Now, Mr Simple, how are you off for money? Do you want a little? You +can pay me by-and-by. Don't be afraid. I'm not quite so poor as I was +when you came down to mess with Trotter and me, and when you gave me the +dozen pair of stockings. I know what it is to want money, and what it is +to want friends." + +"Many thanks to you, Mrs Trotter," replied I; "but I have sufficient to +take me home, and then I can obtain more." + +"Well, I'm glad of it, but it was offered in earnest. Good-bye, God +bless you! Come, Mr Simple, give me a kiss; it won't be the first time." + +I kissed her, for I felt grateful for her kindness; and with a little +smirking and ogling she quitted the room. I could not help thinking, +after she was gone, how little we know the hearts of others. If I had +been asked if Mrs Trotter was a person to have done a generous action, +from what I had seen of her in adversity, I should have decidedly said, +No. Yet in this offer she was disinterested, for she knew the service +well enough to be aware that I had little chance of being a first +lieutenant again, and of being of service to her. And how often does it +also occur, that those who ought, from gratitude or long friendship, to +do all they can to assist you, turn from you in your necessity, and +prove false and treacherous! It is God alone who knows our hearts. I +sent my letter to O'Brien to the admiral's office, sat down to a dinner +which I could not taste, and at seven o'clock got into the mail. + +When I arrived in town I was much worse, but I did not wait more than an +hour. I took my place in a coach which did not go to the town near which +we resided; for I had inquired and found that coach was full, and I did +not choose to wait another day. The coach in which I took my place went +within forty miles of the vicarage, and I intended to post across the +country. The next evening I arrived at the point of separation, and +taking out my portmanteau, ordered a chaise, and set off for what had +once been my home. I could hardly hold my head up, I was so ill, and I +lay in a corner of the chaise in a sort of dream, kept from sleeping +from intense pain in the forehead and temples. It was about nine o'clock +at night, when we were in a dreadful jolting road, the shocks proceeding +from which gave me agonizing pain, that the chaise was stopped by two +men, who dragged me out on the grass. One stood over me, while the other +rifled the chaise. The post-boy, who appeared a party to the +transaction, remained quietly on his horse, and as soon as they had +taken my effects, turned round and drove off. They then rifled my +person, taking away everything that I had, leaving me nothing but my +trousers and shirt. After a short consultation, they ordered me to walk +on in the direction in which we had been proceeding in the chaise, and +to hasten as fast as I could, or they would blow my brains out. I +complied with their request, thinking myself fortunate to have escaped +so well. I knew that I was still thirty miles at least from the +vicarage; but ill as I was, I hoped to be able to reach it on foot. I +walked during the remainder of the night, but I got on but slowly. I +reeled from one side of the road to the other, and occasionally sat down +to rest. Morning dawned, and I perceived habitations not far from me. I +staggered on in my course. + +The fever now raged in me, my head was splitting with agony, and I +tottered to a bank near a small neat cottage, on the side of the road. I +have a faint recollection of some one coming to me and taking my hand, +but nothing further; and it was not till many months afterwards, that I +became acquainted with the circumstances which I now relate. It appears +that the owner of the cottage was a half-pay lieutenant in the army, who +had sold-out on account of his wounds. I was humanely taken into his +house, laid on a bed, and a surgeon requested to come to me immediately. +I had now lost all recollection, and who I was they could not ascertain. +My pockets were empty, and it was only by the mark on my linen that they +found that my name was Simple. For three weeks I remained in a state of +alternate stupor and delirium. When the latter came on, I raved of Lord +Privilege, O'Brien, and Celeste. Mr Selwin, the officer who had so +kindly assisted me, knew that Simple was the patronymic name of Lord +Privilege, and he immediately wrote to his lordship, stating that a +young man of the name of Simple, who, in his delirium called upon him +and Captain O'Brien, was lying in a most dangerous state in his house, +and, that as he presumed I was a relative of his lordship's he had +deemed it right to apprise him of the fact. + +My uncle, who knew that it must be me, thought this too favourable an +opportunity, provided I should live, not to have me in his power. He +wrote to say that he would be there in a day or two; at the same time +thanking Mr Selwin for his kind attention to his poor nephew, and +requesting that no expense might be spared. When my uncle arrived, which +he did in his own chariot, the crisis of the fever was over, but I was +still in a state of stupor, arising from extreme debility. He thanked Mr +Selwin for his attention, which he said he was afraid was of little +avail, as I was every year becoming more deranged; and he expressed his +fears that it would terminate in chronic lunacy. "His poor father died +in the same state," continued my uncle, passing his hand across his +eyes, as if much affected. "I have brought my physician with me, to see +if he can be moved. I shall not be satisfied unless I am with him night +and day." + +The physician (who was my uncle's valet) took me by the hand, felt my +pulse, examined my eyes, and pronounced that it would be very easy to +move me, and that I should recover sooner in a more airy room. Of +course, Mr Selwin raised no objections, putting down all to my uncle's +regard for me; and my clothes were put on me, as I lay in a state of +insensibility, and I was lifted into the chariot. It is most wonderful +that I did not die from being thus taken out of my bed in such a state, +but it pleased Heaven that it should be otherwise. Had such an event +taken place, it would probably have pleased my uncle much better than my +surviving. When I was in the carriage, supported by the +pseudo-physician, my uncle again thanked Mr Selwin, begged that he would +command his interest, wrote a handsome cheque for the surgeon who had +attended me, and getting into the carriage, drove off with me still in a +state of insensibility--that is, I was not so insensible, but I think I +felt I had been removed, and I heard the rattling of the wheels; but my +mind was so uncollected, and I was in a state of such weakness, that I +could not feel assured of it for a minute. + +For some days afterwards, for I recollect nothing about the journey, I +found myself in bed in a dark room and my arms confined. I recalled my +senses, and by degrees was able to recollect all that had occurred, +until I laid down by the roadside. Where was I? The room was dark, I +could distinguish nothing; that I had attempted to do myself some +injury, I took for granted, or my arms would not have been secured. I +had been in a fever and delirious, I supposed, and had now recovered. I +had been in a reverie for more than an hour, wondering why I was left +alone, when the door of the apartment opened. "Who is there?" inquired +I. + +"Oh! you've come to yourself again," said a gruff voice; "then I'll give +you a little daylight." + +He took down a shutter which covered the whole of the window, and a +flood of light poured in, which blinded me. I shut my eyes, and by +degrees admitted the light until I could bear it. I looked at the +apartment: the walls were bare and whitewashed. I was on a truckle-bed. +I looked at the window--it was closed up with iron bars.--"Why, where am +I?" inquired I of the man, with alarm. + +"Where are you?" replied he; "why, in Bedlam!" + + + + +Chapter LXIV + +As O'Brien said; it's a long lane that has no turning--I am rescued, and +happiness pours in upon me as fast as misery before overwhelmed me. + + +The shock was too great--I fell back on my pillow insensible. How long I +laid, I know not, but when I recovered the keeper was gone, and I found +a jug of water and some bread by the side of the bed, I drank the water, +and the effect it had upon me was surprising. I felt that I could get +up, and I rose: my arms had been unpinioned during my swoon. I got on my +feet, and staggered to the window. I looked out, saw the bright sun, the +passers-by, the houses opposite--all looked cheerful and gay, but I was +a prisoner in a madhouse. Had I been mad? I reflected, and supposed that +I had been, and had been confined by those who knew nothing of me. It +never came into my head that my uncle had been a party to it. I threw +myself on the bed, and relieved myself with tears. It was about noon +that the medical people, attended by the keepers and others, came into +my apartment. "Is he quite quiet?" "O Lord! yes, sir, as quiet as a +lamb," replied the man who had before entered. I then spoke to the +medical gentleman, begging him to tell why, and how, I had been brought +here. He answered mildly and soothingly, saying that I was there at the +wish of my friends, and that every care would be taken of me; that he +was aware that my paroxysms were only occasional, and that, during the +time I was quiet, I should have every indulgence that could be granted, +and that he hoped that I soon should be perfectly well, and be permitted +to leave the hospital. I replied by stating who I was, and how I had +been taken ill. The doctor shook his head, advised me to lie down as +much as possible, and then quitted me to visit the other patients. + +As I afterwards discovered, my uncle had had me confined upon the plea +that I was a young man who was deranged with an idea that his name was +Simple, and that he was the heir to the title and estates; that I was +very troublesome at times, forcing my way into his house and insulting +the servants, but in every other respect was harmless; that my paroxysms +generally ended in a violent fever, and it was more from the fear of my +coming to some harm, than from any ill-will towards the poor young man, +that he wished me to remain in the hospital, and be taken care of. The +reader may at once perceive the art of this communication: I, having no +idea why I was confined, would of course continue to style myself by my +true name; and as long as I did this, so long would I be considered in a +deranged state. The reader must not therefore be surprised when I tell +him that I remained in Bedlam for one year and eight months. The doctor +called upon me for two or three days, and finding me quiet, ordered me +to be allowed books, paper, and ink, to amuse myself; but every attempt +at explanation was certain to be the signal for him to leave my +apartment. I found, therefore, not only by him, but from the keeper, who +paid no attention to anything I said, that I had no chance of being +listened to, or of obtaining my release. + +After the first month, the doctor came to me no more: I was a quiet +patient, and he received the report of the keeper. I was sent there with +every necessary document to prove that I was mad; and, although a very +little may establish a case of lunacy, it requires something very strong +indeed to prove that you are in your right senses. In Bedlam I found it +impossible. At the same time I was well treated, was allowed all +necessary comforts, and such amusement as could be obtained from books, +&c. I had no reason to complain of the keeper--except that he was too +much employed to waste his time in listening to what he did not believe. +I wrote several letters to my sister and to O'Brien, during the first +two or three months, and requested the keeper to put them in the post. +This he promised to do, never refusing to take the letters; but, as I +afterwards found out, they were invariably destroyed. Yet I still bore +up with the hopes of release for some time; but the anxiety relative to +my sister, when I thought of her situation, my thoughts of Celeste and +of O'Brien, sometimes quite overcame me; then, indeed, I would almost +become frantic, and the keeper would report that I had had a paroxysm. +After six months I became melancholy, and I wasted away. I no longer +attempted to amuse myself, but sat all day with my eyes fixed upon +vacancy. I no longer attended to my person; I allowed my beard to grow-- +my face was never washed, unless mechanically, when ordered by the +keeper; and if I was not mad, there was every prospect of my soon +becoming so. Life passed away as a blank--I had become indifferent to +everything--I noted time no more--the change of seasons was unperceived +--even the day and the night followed without my regarding them. + +I was in this unfortunate situation, when one day the door was opened, +and, as had been often the custom during my imprisonment, visitors were +going round the establishment, to indulge their curiosity, in witnessing +the degradation of their fellow-creatures, or to offer their +commiseration. I paid no heed to them, not even casting up my eyes. +"This young man," said the medical gentleman who accompanied the party, +"has entertained the strange idea that his name is Simple, and that he +is the rightful heir to the title and property of Lord Privilege." + +One of the visitors came up to me, and looked me in the face. "And so he +is," cried he to the doctor, who looked with astonishment. "Peter, don't +you know me?" I started up. It was General O'Brien. I flew into his +arms, and burst into tears. + +"Sir," said General O'Brien, leading me to the chair, and seating me +upon it, "I tell you that _is_ Mr Simple, the nephew of Lord Privilege; +and I believe, the heir to the title. If, therefore, his assertion of +such being the case is the only proof of his insanity, he is illegally +confined. I am here, a foreigner, and a prisoner on parole; but I am not +without friends. My Lord Belmore," said he, turning to another of the +visitors who had accompanied him, "I pledge you my honour that what I +state is true; and I request that you will immediately demand the +release of this poor young man." + +"I assure you, sir, that I have Lord Privilege's letter," observed the +doctor. + +"Lord Privilege is a scoundrel," replied General O'Brien. "But there is +justice to be obtained in this country, and he shall pay dearly for his +_lettre de cachet_. My dear Peter, how fortunate was my visit to this +horrid place! I had heard so much of the excellent arrangements of this +establishment, that I agreed to walk round with Lord Belmore; but I find +that it is abused." + +"Indeed, General O'Brien, I have been treated with kindness," replied I; +"and particularly by this gentleman. It was not his fault." + +General O'Brien and Lord Belmore then inquired of the doctor if he had +any objection to my release. + +"None whatever, my lord, even if he were insane; although I now see how +I have been imposed upon. We allow the friends of any patient to remove +him, if they think that they can pay him more attention. He may leave +with you this moment." + +I now did feel my brain turn with the revulsion from despair to hope, +and I fell back in my seat. The doctor, perceiving my condition, bled me +copiously, and laid me on the bed, where I remained more than an hour, +watched by General O'Brien. I then got up, calm and thankful. I was +shaved by the barber of the establishment, washed and dressed myself, +and, leaning on the general's arm, was let out. I cast my eyes upon the +two celebrated stone figures of Melancholy and Raving Madness, as I +passed them; I trembled, and clung more tightly to the general's arm, +was assisted into the carriage, and bade farewell to madness and misery. +The general said nothing until we approached the hotel where he resided, +in Dover-street, and then he inquired, in a low voice, whether I could +bear more excitement. + +"It is Celeste you mean, general?" + +"It is, my dear boy; she is here;" and he squeezed my hand. + +"Alas!" cried I, "what hopes have I now of Celeste?" + +"More than you had before," replied the general. "She lives but for you; +and if you are a beggar, I have a competence to make you sufficiently +comfortable." + +I returned the general's pressure of the hand, but could not speak. We +descended, and in a minute I was led by the father into the arms of the +astonished daughter. + +I must pass over a few days, during which I had almost recovered my +health and spirits, and had narrated my adventures to General O'Brien +and Celeste. My first object was to discover my sister. What had become +of poor Ellen, in the destitute condition in which she had been left I +knew not; and I resolved to go down to the vicarage, and make inquiries. +I did not, however, set off until a legal adviser had been sent for by +General O'Brien, and due notice given to Lord Privilege of an action to +be immediately brought against him for false imprisonment. + +I set off in the mail, and the next evening arrived at the town of----. +I hastened to the parsonage, and the tears stood in my eyes as I thought +of my mother, my poor father, and the peculiar and doubtful situation of +my dear sister. I was answered by a boy in livery, and found the present +incumbent at home. He received me politely, listened to my story, and +then replied that my sister had set off for London on the day of his +arrival, and that she had not communicated her intentions to any one. +Here, then, was all clue lost, and I was in despair. I walked to the +town in time to throw myself into the mail, and the next evening joined +Celeste and the general, to whom I communicated the intelligence, and +requested advice how to proceed. + +Lord Belmore called the next morning, and the general consulted him. His +lordship took great interest in my concerns, and, previous to any +further steps, advised me to step into his carriage, and allow him to +relate my case to the First Lord of the Admiralty. This was done +immediately; and, as I had now an opportunity of speaking freely to his +lordship, I explained to him the conduct of Captain Hawkins, and his +connection with my uncle; also the reason of my uncle's persecution. His +lordship, finding me under such powerful protection as Lord Belmore's, +and having an eye to my future claims, which my uncle's conduct gave him +reason to suppose were well founded, was extremely gracious, and said +that I should hear from him in a day or two. He kept his word, and, on +the third day after my interview, I received a note, announcing my +promotion to the rank of commander. I was delighted with this good +fortune, as was General O'Brien and Celeste. + +When at the Admiralty, I inquired about O'Brien, and found that he was +expected home every day. He had gained great reputation in the East +Indies, was chief in command at the taking of some of the islands, and, +it was said, was to be created a baronet for his services. Everything +wore a favourable aspect, excepting the disappearance of my sister. This +was a weight on my mind I could not remove. + +But I have forgotten to inform the reader by what means General O'Brien +and Celeste arrived so opportunely in England. Martinique had been +captured by our forces about six months before, and the whole of the +garrison surrendered as prisoners of war. General O'Brien was sent home, +and allowed to be on parole; although born a Frenchman, he had very high +connections in Ireland, of whom Lord Belmore was one. When they arrived, +they had made every inquiry for me without success; they knew that I had +been tried by a court-martial, and dismissed my ship, but after that, no +clue could be found for my discovery. + +Celeste, who was fearful that some dreadful accident had occurred to me, +had suffered very much in health; and General O'Brien, perceiving how +much his daughter's happiness depended upon her attachment for me, had +made up his mind that if I were found we should be united. I hardly need +say how delighted he was when he discovered me, though in a situation so +little to be envied. + +The story of my incarceration, of the action to be brought against my +uncle, and the reports of foul play relative to the succession, had in +the meantime been widely circulated among the nobility; and I found that +every attention was paid me, and I was repeatedly invited out as an +object of curiosity and speculation. The loss of my sister also was a +subject of much interest, and many people, from goodwill, made every +inquiry to discover her. I had returned one day from the solicitor's, +who had advertised for her in the newspapers without success, when I +found a letter for me on the table, in an Admiralty enclosure. I opened +it--the enclosure was one from O'Brien, who had just cast anchor at +Spithead, and who had requested that the letter should be forwarded to +me, if any one could tell my address. I tore it open. + + "My dear Peter,--Where are, and what has become of, you? I have + received no letters for these two years, and I have fretted myself to + death. I received your letter about the rascally court-martial; but + perhaps you have not heard that the little scoundrel is dead. Yes, + Peter; he brought your letter out in his own ship, and that was his + death-warrant. I met him at a private party. He brought up your name-- + I allowed him to abuse you, and then told him he was a liar and a + scoundrel; upon which he challenged me, very much against his will; + but the affront was so public, that he couldn't help himself. Upon + which I shot him, with all the good-will in the world, and could he + have jumped up again twenty times, like Jack-in-the-Box, I would have + shot him every time. The dirty scoundrel! but there's an end of him. + Nobody pitied him, for every one hated him; and the admiral only + looked grave, and then was very much obliged to me for giving him a + vacancy for his nephew. By-the-bye, from some unknown hand, but I + presume from the officers of his ship, I received a packet of + correspondence between him and your worthy uncle, which is about as + elegant a piece of rascality as ever was carried on between two + scoundrels; but that's not all, Peter. I've got a young woman for you + who will make your heart glad--not Mademoiselle Celeste, for I don't + know where she is--but the wet-nurse who went out to India. Her + husband was sent home as an invalid, and she was allowed her passage + home with him in my frigate. Finding that he belonged to the regiment, + I talked to him about one O'Sullivan, who married in Ireland, and + mentioned the girl's name, and when he discovered that he was a + countryman of mine he told me that his real name was O'Sullivan, sure + enough, but that he had always served as O'Connell, and that his wife + on board was the young woman in question. Upon which I sent to speak + to her, and telling her that I knew all about it, and mentioning the + names of Ella Flanagan and her mother, who had given me the + information, she was quite astonished; and when I asked her what had + become of the child which she took in place of her own, she told me + that it had been drowned at Plymouth, and that her husband was saved + at the same time by a young officer, 'whose name I have here,' says + she; and then she pulled out of her neck your card, with Peter Simple + on it. 'Now,' says I, 'do you know, good woman, that in helping on the + rascally exchange of children, you ruin that very young man who saved + your husband, for you deprive him of his title and property?" She + stared like a stuck pig, when I said so, and then cursed and blamed + herself, and declared she'd right you as soon as we came home; and + most anxious she is still to do so, for she loves the very name of + you; so you see, Peter, a good action has its reward sometimes in this + world, and a bad action also, seeing as how I've shot that confounded + villain who dared to ill-use you. I have plenty more to say to you, + Peter; but I don't like writing what, perhaps, may never be read, so + I'll wait till I hear from you; and then, as soon as I get through my + business, we will set to and trounce that scoundrel of an uncle. I + have twenty thousand pounds jammed together in the Consolidated, + besides the Spice Islands, which will be a pretty penny; and every + farthing of it shall go to right you, Peter, and make a lord of you, + as I promised you often that you should be; and if you win you shall + pay, and if you don't then d--n the luck and d--n the money too. I beg + you will offer my best regards to Miss Ellen, and say how happy I + shall be to hear that she is well; but it has always been on my mind, + Peter, that your father did not leave too much behind him, and I wish + to know how you both get on. I left you a _carte blanche_ at my + agent's, and I only hope that you have taken advantage of it, if + required; if not, you're not the Peter that I left behind me. So now, + farewell, and don't forget to answer my letter in no time. Ever yours, + + "Terence O'Brien." + +This was indeed joyful intelligence. I handed the letter to General +O'Brien, who read it, Celeste hanging over his shoulder, and perusing it +at the same time. + +"This is well," said the General. "Peter, I wish you joy, and Celeste, I +ought to wish you joy also at your future prospects. It will indeed be a +gratification if ever I hail you as Lady Privilege." + +"Celeste," said I, "you did not reject me when I was pennyless, and in +disgrace. O my poor sister Ellen! If I could but find you, how happy +should I be!" + +I sat down to write to O'Brien, acquainting him with all that had +occurred, and the loss of my dear sister. The day after the receipt of +my letter, O'Brien burst into the room. After the first moments of +congratulation were past, he said, "My heart's broke, Peter, about your +sister Ellen: find her I must. I shall give up my ship, for I'll never +give up the search as long as I live. I must find her." + +"Do, pray, my dear O'Brien, and I only wish--" + +"Wish what, Peter? shall I tell you what I wish?--that if I find her, +you'll give her to me for my trouble." + +"As far as I am concerned, O'Brien, nothing would give me greater +pleasure; but God knows to what wretchedness and want may have compelled +her." + +"Shame on you, Peter, to think so of your sister. I pledge my honour for +her. Poor, miserable, and unhappy she may be--but no--no, Peter. You +don't know--you don't love her as I do, if you can allow such thoughts +to enter your mind." + +This conversation took place at the window: we then turned round to +General O'Brien and Celeste. + +"Captain O'Brien," said the general. + +"Sir Terence O'Brien, if you please, general. His Majesty has given me a +handle to my name." + +"I congratulate you, Sir Terence," said the general, shaking him by the +hand: "what I was about to say is, that I hope you will take up your +quarters at this hotel, and we will all live together. I trust that we +shall soon find Ellen: in the meanwhile we have no time to lose, in our +exposure of Lord Privilege. Is the woman in town?" + +"Yes, and under lock and key; but the devil a fear of her. Millions +would not bribe her to wrong him who risked his life for her husband. +She's Irish, general, to the back bone. Nevertheless, Peter, we must go +to our solicitor, to give the intelligence, that he may take the +necessary steps." + +For three weeks, O'Brien was diligent in his search for Ellen, employing +every description of emissary without success. In the meanwhile, the +general and I were prosecuting our cause against Lord Privilege. One +morning, Lord Belmore called upon us, and asked the general if we would +accompany him to the theatre, to see two celebrated pieces performed. In +the latter, which was a musical farce, a new performer was to come out, +of whom report spoke highly. Celeste consented, and after an early +dinner, we joined his lordship in his private box, which was above the +stage, on the first tier. The first piece was played, and Celeste, who +had never seen the performance of Young, was delighted. The curtain then +drew up for the second piece. In the second act, the new performer, a +Miss Henderson, was led by the manager on the stage; she was apparently +much frightened and excited, but three rounds of applause gave her +courage, and she proceeded. At the very first notes of her voice I was +startled, and O'Brien, who was behind, threw himself forward to look at +her; but as we were almost directly above, and her head was turned the +other way, we could not distinguish her features. As she proceeded in +her song, she gained courage, and her face was turned towards us, and +she cast her eyes up--saw me--the recognition was mutual--I held out my +arm, but could not speak--she staggered, and fell down in a swoon. + +"'Tis Ellen!" cried O'Brien, rushing past me; and making one spring down +on the stage, he carried her off, before any other person could come to +her assistance. I followed him, and found him with Ellen still in his +arms, and the actresses assisting in her recovery. The manager came +forward to apologize, stating that the young lady was too ill to +proceed, and the audience, who had witnessed the behaviour of O'Brien +and myself, were satisfied with the romance in real life which had been +exhibited. Her part was read by another, but the piece was little +attended to, every one trying to find out the occasion of this uncommon +occurrence. In the meantime, Ellen was put into a hackney-coach by +O'Brien and me, and we drove to the hotel, where we were soon joined by +the general and Celeste. + + + + +Chapter LXV + +It never rains but it pours, whether it be good or bad news--I succeed +in everything, and to everything, my wife, my title, and estate--And +"All's well that ends well." + + +I shall pass over the scenes which followed, and give my sister's +history in her own words. + +"I wrote to you, my dear Peter, to tell you that I considered it my duty +to pay all my father's debts with your money, and that there were but +sixty pounds left when every claim had been satisfied; and I requested +you to come to me as soon as you could, that I might have your counsel +and assistance as to my future arrangements." + +"I received your letter, Ellen, and was hastening to you, when--but no +matter, I will tell my story afterwards." + +"Day after day I waited with anxiety for a letter, and then wrote to the +officers of the ship to know if any accident had occurred. I received an +answer from the surgeon, informing me that you had quitted Portsmouth to +join me, and had not since been heard of. You may imagine my distress at +this communication, as I did not doubt but that something dreadful had +occurred, as I knew, too well, that nothing would have detained you from +me at such a time. The new vicar appointed had come down to look over +the house, and to make arrangements for bringing in his family. The +furniture he had previously agreed to take at a valuation, and the sum +had been appropriated in liquidation of your father's debts. I had +already been permitted to remain longer than was usual, and had no +alternative but to quit, which I did not do until the last moment. I +could not leave my address, for I knew not where I was to go. I took my +place in the coach, and arrived in London. My first object was to secure +the means of livelihood, by offering myself as a governess; but I found +great difficulties from not being able to procure a good reference, and +from not having already served in that capacity. At last I was taken +into a family to bring up three little girls; but I soon found out how +little chance I had of comfort. The lady had objected to me as too +good-looking--for this same reason the gentleman insisted upon my being +engaged. + +"Thus was I a source of disunion; the lady treated me with harshness, +and the gentleman with too much attention. At last her ill-treatment and +his persecution, were both so intolerable, that I gave notice that I +should leave my situation." + +"I beg pardon, Miss Ellen, but you will oblige me with the name and +residence of that gentleman?" said O'Brien. + +"Indeed, Ellen, do no such thing," replied I; "continue your story." + +"I could not obtain another situation as governess; for, as I always +stated where I had been, and did not choose to give the precise reason +for quitting, merely stating that I was not comfortable, whenever the +lady was called upon for my character, she invariably spoke of me so as +to prevent my obtaining a situation. At last I was engaged as teacher to +a school. I had better have taken a situation as housemaid. I was +expected to be everywhere, to do everything; was up at daylight, and +never in bed till past midnight; fared very badly, and was equally ill +paid; but still it was honest employment, and I remained there for more +than a year; but, though as economical as possible, my salary would not +maintain me in clothes and washing, which was all I required. There was +a master of elocution, who came every week, and whose wife was the +teacher of music. They took a great liking to me, and pointed out how +much better I should be off if I could succeed on the stage, of which +they had no doubt. For months I refused, hoping still to have some +tidings of you; but at last my drudgery became so insupportable, and my +means so decreased, that I unwillingly consented. It was then nineteen +months since I had heard of you, and I mourned you as dead. I had no +relations except my uncle, and I was unknown even to him. I quitted the +situation, and took up my abode with the teacher of elocution and his +wife, who treated me with every kindness, and prepared me for my new +career. Neither at the school, which was three miles from London, nor at +my new residence, which was over Westminster-bridge, did I ever see a +newspaper. It was no wonder, therefore, that I did not know of your +advertisements. After three months' preparation I was recommended and +introduced to the manager by my kind friends, and accepted. You know the +rest." + +"Well, Miss Ellen, if any one ever tells you that you were on the stage, +at all events you may reply that you wasn't there long." + +"I trust not long enough to be recognised," replied she. "I recollect +how often I have expressed my disgust at those who would thus consent to +exhibit themselves; but circumstances strangely alter our feelings. I +do, however, trust that I should have been respectable, even as an +actress." + +"That you would, Miss Ellen," replied O'Brien. "What did I tell you, +Peter?" + +"You pledged your honour that nothing would induce Ellen to disgrace her +family, I recollect, O'Brien." + +"Thank you, Sir Terence, for your good opinion," replied Ellen. + +My sister had been with us about three days, during which I had informed +her of all that had taken place, when, one evening, finding myself alone +with her, I candidly stated to her what were O'Brien's feelings towards +her, and pleaded his cause with all the earnestness in my power. + +"My dear brother," she replied, "I have always admired Captain O'Brien's +character, and always have felt grateful to him for his kindness and +attachment to you; but I cannot say that I love him. I have never +thought about him except as one to whom we are both much indebted." + +"But do you mean to say that you could not love him?" + +"No, I do not; and I will do all I can, Peter--I will try. I never will, +if possible, make him unhappy who has been so kind to you." + +"Depend upon it, Ellen, that with your knowledge of O'Brien, and with +feelings of gratitude to him, you will soon love him, if once you accept +him as a suitor. May I tell him--" + +"You may tell him that he may plead his own cause, my dear brother; and, +at all events, I will listen to no other until he has had fair play; but +recollect that at present I only _like_ him--like him _very much,_ it is +true; but still I only _like_ him." + +I was quite satisfied with my success, and so was O'Brien, when I told +him. "By the powers, Peter, she's an angel, and I can't expect her to +love an inferior being like myself; but if she'll only like me well +enough to marry me, I'll trust to after-marriage for the rest. Love +comes with the children, Peter. Well, but you need not say that to her-- +divil a bit--they shall come upon her like old age, without her +perceiving it." + +O'Brien having thus obtained permission, certainly lost no time in +taking advantage of it. Celeste and I were more fondly attached every +day. The solicitor declared my case so good, that he could raise fifty +thousand pounds upon it. In short, all our causes were prosperous, when +an event occurred, the details of which, of course, I did not obtain +until some time afterwards, but which I shall narrate here. + +My uncle was very much alarmed when he discovered that I had been +released from Bedlam--still more so, when he had notice given him of a +suit, relative to the succession to the title. His emissaries had +discovered that the wet-nurse had been brought home in O'Brien's +frigate, and was kept so close that they could not communicate with her. +He now felt that all his schemes would prove abortive. His legal adviser +was with him, and they had been walking in the garden, talking over the +contingencies, when they stopped close to the drawing-room windows of +the mansion at Eagle Park. + +"But, sir," observed the lawyer, "if you will not confide in me, I +cannot act for your benefit. You still assert that nothing of the kind +has taken place?" + +"I do," replied his lordship. "It is a foul invention." + +"Then, my lord, may I ask you why you considered it advisable to +imprison Mr Simple in Bedlam?" + +"Because I hate him," retorted his lordship,--"detest him." + +"And for what reason, my lord? his character is unimpeached, and he is +your near relative." + +"I tell you, sir, that I hate him--would that he were now lying dead at +my feet!" + +Hardly were the words out of my uncle's mouth, when a whizzing was heard +for a second, and then something fell down within a foot of where they +stood, with a heavy crash. They started--turned round--the adopted heir +lay lifeless at their feet, and their legs were bespattered with his +blood and his brains. The poor boy, seeing his lordship below, had +leaned out of one of the upper windows to call to him, but lost his +balance, and had fallen head foremost upon the wide stone pavement which +surrounded the mansion. For a few seconds the lawyer and my uncle looked +upon each other with horror. + +"A judgment!--a judgment!" cried the lawyer, looking at his client. My +uncle covered his face with his hands, and fell. Assistance now came +out, but there was more than one to help up. The violence of his emotion +had brought on an apoplectic fit, and my uncle, although he breathed, +never spoke again. + +It was in consequence of this tragical event, of which we did not know +the particulars until afterwards, that the next morning my solicitor +called upon me, and put a letter into my hand, saying, "Allow me to +congratulate your lordship." We were all at breakfast at the time, and +the general, O'Brien, and myself jumped up, all in such astonishment at +this unexpected title being so soon conferred upon me, that we had a +heavy bill for damages to pay; and had not Ellen caught the tea-urn, as +it was tipping over, there would, in all probability, have been a +doctor's bill into the bargain. The letter was eagerly read--it was from +my uncle's legal adviser, who had witnessed the catastrophe, informing +me, that all dispute as to the succession was at an end by the tragical +event that had taken place, and that he had put seals upon everything, +awaiting my arrival or instructions. The solicitor, as he presented the +letter, said that he would take his leave, and call again in an hour or +two, when I was more composed. My first movement, when I had read the +letter aloud, was to throw my arms round Celeste, and embrace her--and +O'Brien, taking the hint, did the same to Ellen, and was excused in +consideration of circumstances; but, as soon as she could disengage +herself, her arms were entwined round my neck, while Celeste was hanging +on her father's. Having disposed of the ladies, the gentlemen now shook +hands, and though we had not all appetites to finish our breakfasts, +never was there a happier quintette. + +In about an hour my solicitor returned, and congratulated me, and +immediately set about the necessary preparations. I desired him to go +down immediately to Eagle Park, attend to the funeral of my uncle, and +the poor little boy who had paid so dearly for his intended advancement, +and take charge from my uncle's legal adviser, who remained in the +house. The "dreadful accident in high life" found its way into the +papers of the day, and before dinner time a pile of visiting cards was +poured in, which covered the table. The next day a letter arrived from +the First Lord, announcing that he had made out my commission as +post-captain, and trusted that I would allow him the pleasure of +presenting it himself at his dinner hour, at half-past seven. Very much +obliged to him, the "fool of the family" might have waited a long while +for it. + +While I was reading this letter, the waiter came up to say that a young +woman below wanted to speak to me. I desired her to be shown up. As soon +as she came in, she burst into tears, knelt down, and kissed my hand. + +"Sure, it's you--oh! yes--it's you that saved my poor husband when I was +assisting to your ruin. And an't I punished for my wicked doings--an't +my poor boy dead?" + +She said no more, but remained on her knees, sobbing bitterly. Of +course, the reader recognises in her the wet-nurse who had exchanged her +child. I raised her up, and desired her to apply to my solicitor to pay +her expenses, and leave her address. + +"But do you forgive me, Mr Simple? It's not that I have forgiven +myself." + +"I do forgive you with all my heart, my good woman. You have been +punished enough." + +"I have, indeed," replied she, sobbing; "but don't I deserve it all, and +more too? God's blessing, and all the saints' too, upon your head, for +your kind forgiveness, anyhow. My heart is lighter." And she quitted the +room. + +She had scarcely quitted the hotel, when the waiter came up again. +"Another lady, my lord, wishes to speak with you, but she won't give her +name." + +"Really, my lord, you seem to have an extensive female acquaintance," +said the general. + +"At all events, I am not aware of any that I need be ashamed of. Show +the lady up, waiter." + +In a moment entered a fat, unwieldly little mortal, very warm from +walking; she sat down in a chair, threw back her tippet, and then +exclaimed, "Lord bless you, how you have grown! Gemini, if I can hardly +believe my eyes; and I declare he don't know me." + +"I really cannot exactly recollect where I had the pleasure of seeing +you before, madam." + +"Well, that's what I said to Jemima, when I went down in the kitchen. +'Jemima,' says I, 'I wonder if little Peter Simple will know me.' And +Jemima says, 'I think he would the parrot, marm.'" + +"Mrs Handycock, I believe," said I, recollecting Jemima and the parrot, +although, from a little thin woman, she had grown so fat as not to be +recognisable. + +"Oh! so you've found me out, Mr Simple--my lord, I ought to say. Well, I +need not ask after your grandfather now, for I know he's dead; but as I +was coming this way for orders, I thought I would just step in and see +how you looked." + +"I trust Mr Handycock is well, ma'am. Pray is he a bull or a bear?" + +"Lord bless you, Mr Simple, my lord, I should say, he's been neither +bull nor bear for this three years. He was obliged to _waddle_. If I +didn't know much about bulls and bears, I know very well what a _lame +duck_ is, to my cost. We're off the Stock Exchange, and Mr Handycock is +set up as a coal merchant." + +"Indeed!" + +"Yes; that is, we have no coals, but we take orders, and have +half-a-crown a chaldron for our trouble. As Mr Handycock says, it's a +very good business, if you only had enough of it. Perhaps your lordship +may be able to give us an order. It's nothing out of your pocket, and +something into ours." + +"I shall be very happy, when I return again to town, Mrs Handycock. I +hope the parrot is quite well." + +"Oh! my lord, that's a sore subject; only think of Mr Handycock, when we +retired from the 'Change, taking my parrot one day and selling it for +five guineas, saying, five guineas were better than a nasty squalling +bird. To be sure, there was nothing for dinner that day; but, as Jemima +agreed with me, we'd rather have gone without a dinner for a month, than +have parted with Poll. Since we've looked up a little in the world, I +saved up five guineas, by hook or by crook, and tried to get Poll back +again, but the lady said she wouldn't take fifty guineas for him." + +Mrs Handycock then jumped from her chair, saying, "Good morning, my +lord; I'll leave one of Mr Handycock's cards. Jemima would be so glad to +see you." + +As she left the room, Celeste laughingly asked me whether I had any more +such acquaintances. I replied, that I believed not; but I must +acknowledge that Mrs Trotter was brought to my recollection, and I was +under some alarm, lest she should also come and pay me her respects. + +The next day I had another unexpected visit. We had just sat down to +dinner, when we heard a disturbance below; and, shortly after, the +general's French servant came up in great haste, saying that there was a +foreigner below, who wished to see me: and that he had been caning one +of the waiters of the hotel, for not paying him proper respect. + +"Who can that be?" thought I: and I went out of the door, and looked +over the banisters, as the noise continued. + +"You must not come here to beat Englishmen, I can tell you," roared one +of the waiters. "What do we care for your foreign counts?" + +"Sacre, canaille?" cried the other party, in a contemptuous voice, which +I well knew. + +"Ay, canal!--we'll duck you in the canal, if you don't mind." + +"You will!" said the stranger, who had hitherto spoken French. "Allow me +to observe--in the most delicate manner in the world--just to hint, that +you are a d----d trencher-scraping, napkin-carrying, shilling-seeking, +up-and-down-stairs son of a bitch--and take this for your impudence!" + +The noise of the cane was again heard; and I hastened downstairs, where +I found Count Shucksen thrashing two or three of the waiters without +mercy. At my appearance, the waiters, who were showing fight, retreated +to a short distance, out of reach of the cane. + +"My dear count," exclaimed I, "is it you?" + +"My dear Lord Privilege, will you excuse me? but these fellows are +saucy." + +"Then I'll have them discharged," replied I. "If a friend of mine, and +an officer of your rank and distinction, cannot come to see me without +insult, I will seek another hotel." + +This threat of mine, and the reception I gave the count, put all to +rights. The waiters sneaked off, and the master of the hotel apologised. +It appeared that they had desired him to wait in the coffee-room until +they could announce him, which had hurt the count's dignity. + +"We are just sitting down to dinner, count; will you join us?" + +"As soon as I have improved my toilet, my dear lord," replied he; "you +must perceive that I am off a journey." + +The master of the hotel bowed, and proceeded to show the count to a +dressing-room. When I returned upstairs--"What was the matter?" +inquired O'Brien. + +"Oh, nothing!--a little disturbance in consequence of a foreigner not +understanding English." + +In about five minutes the waiter opened the door, and announced Count +Shucksen. + +"Now, O'Brien, you'll be puzzled," said I; and in came the count. + +"My dear Lord Privilege," said he, coming up and taking me by the hand, +"let me not be the last to congratulate you upon your accession. I was +running up the channel in my frigate when a pilot-boat gave me a +newspaper, in which I saw your unexpected change of circumstances. I +made an excuse for dropping my anchor at Spithead this morning, and I +have come up post, to express how sincerely I participate in your good +fortune." Count Shucksen then politely saluted the ladies and the +general, and turned round to O'Brien, who had been staring at him with +astonishment. "Count Shucksen, allow me to introduce Sir Terence +O'Brien." + +"By the piper that played before Moses, but it's a puzzle," said +O'Brien. "Blood and thunder! if it a'n't Chucks!--my dear fellow, when +did you rise from your grave?" + +"Fortunately," replied the count, as they shook each other's hands for +some time, "I never went into it, Sir Terence. But now, with your +permission, my lord, I'll take some food, as I really am not a little +hungry. After dinner, Captain O'Brien, you shall hear my history." + +His secret was confided to the whole party, upon my pledging myself for +their keeping it locked up in their own breasts, which was a bold thing +on my part, considering that two of them were ladies. The count stayed +with us for some time, and was introduced everywhere. It was impossible +to discover that he had not been bred up in a court, his manners were so +good. He was a great favourite with the ladies; and his moustachios, bad +French, and waltzing--an accomplishment he had picked up in Sweden--were +quite the vogue. All the ladies were sorry when the Swedish count +announced his departure by a P.P.C. + +Before I left town I called upon the First Lord of the Admiralty, and +procured for Swinburne a first-rate building--that is to say, ordered to +be built. This he had often said he wished, as he was tired of the sea, +after a service of forty-five years. Subsequently I obtained leave of +absence for him every year, and he used to make himself very happy at +Eagle Park. Most of his time was, however, passed on the lake, either +fishing or rowing about; telling long stories to all who would join him +in his water excursions. + +A fortnight after my assuming my title, we set off for Eagle Park, and +Celeste consented to my entreaties that the wedding should take place +that day month. Upon this hint O'Brien spake; and, to oblige _me_, Ellen +consented that we should be united on the same day. + +O'Brien wrote to Father M'Grath; but the letter was returned by post, +with "_dead_" marked upon the outside. O'Brien then wrote to one of his +sisters, who informed him that Father M'Grath would cross the bog one +evening when he had taken a very large proportion of whisky; and that he +was seen out of the right path, and had never been heard of afterwards. + +On the day appointed we were all united, and both unions have been +attended with as much happiness as this world can afford. Both O'Brien +and I are blessed with children, which, as O'Brien observed, have come +upon us like old age, until we now can muster a large Christmas party in +the two families. The general's head is white, and he sits and smiles, +happy in his daughter's happiness, and in the gambols of his +grandchildren. + +Such, reader, is the history of Peter Simple, Viscount Privilege, no +longer the fool, but the head of the family, who now bids you farewell. + +THE END. + + + + + + + + +The Three Cutters + + + + +Chapter I + +CUTTER THE FIRST + + +Reader, have you ever been at Plymouth? If you have, your eye must have +dwelt with ecstasy upon the beautiful property of the Earl of Mount +Edgcumbe: if you have not been at Plymouth, the sooner that you go +there, the better. At Mount Edgcumbe you will behold the finest timber +in existence, towering up to the summits of the hills, and feathering +down to the shingle on the beach. And from this lovely spot you will +witness one of the most splendid panoramas in the world. You will see--I +hardly know what you will not see--you will see Ram Head, and Cawsand +Bay; and then you will see the Breakwater, and Drake's Island, and the +Devil's Bridge below you; and the town of Plymouth and its +fortifications, and the Hoe; and then you will come to the Devil's +Point, round which the tide runs devilish strong; and then you will see +the New Victualling Office,--about which Sir James Gordon used to stump +all day, and take a pinch of snuff from every man who carried a box, +which all were delighted to give, and he was delighted to receive, +proving how much pleasure may be communicated merely by a pinch of +snuff--and then you will see Mount Wise and Mutton Cove; the town of +Devonport, with its magnificent dockyard and arsenals, North Corner, and +the way which leads to Saltash. And you will see ships building and +ships in ordinary; and ships repairing and ships fitting; and hulks and +convict ships, and the guardship; ships ready to sail and ships under +sail; besides lighters, men-of-war's boats, dockyard-boats, bumboats, +and shore-boats. In short, there is a great deal to see at Plymouth +besides the sea itself: but what I particularly wish now, is, that you +will stand at the battery of Mount Edgecumbe and look into Barn Pool +below you, and there you will see, lying at single anchor, a cutter; and +you may also see, by her pendant and ensign, that she is a yacht. + +Of all the amusements entered into by the nobility and gentry of our +island there is not one so manly, so exciting, so patriotic, or so +national, as yacht-sailing. It is peculiar to England, not only from our +insular position and our fine harbours, but because it requires a +certain degree of energy and a certain amount of income rarely to be +found elsewhere. It has been wisely fostered by our sovereigns, who have +felt that the security of the kingdom is increased by every man being +more or less a sailor, or connected with the nautical profession. It is +an amusement of the greatest importance to the country; as it has much +improved our ship-building and our ship-fitting, while it affords +employment to our seamen and shipwrights. But if I were to say all that +I could say in praise of yachts, I should never advance with my +narrative. I shall therefore drink a bumper to the health of Admiral +Lord Yarborough and the Yacht Club, and proceed. + +You observe that this yacht is cutter-rigged, and that she sits +gracefully on the smooth water. She is just heaving up her anchor; her +foresail is loose, all ready to cast her--in a few minutes she will be +under weigh. You see that there are some ladies sitting at the taffrail; +and there are five haunches of venison hanging over the stern. Of all +amusements, give me yachting. But we must go on board. The deck, you +observe, is of narrow deal planks as white as snow; the guns are of +polished brass; the bitts and binnacles of mahogany; she is painted with +taste; and all the mouldings are gilded. There is nothing wanting; and +yet how clear and unencumbered are her decks! Let us go below. This is +the ladies' cabin: can anything be more tasteful or elegant? is it not +luxurious? and, although so small, does not its very confined space +astonish you, when you view so many comforts so beautifully arranged? +This is the dining-room, and where the gentlemen repair. What can be +more complete or _recherche_? and just peep into their state-rooms and +bed-places. Here is the steward's room and the beaufet: the steward is +squeezing lemons for the punch, and there is the champagne in ice; and +by the side of the pail the long-corks are ranged up, all ready. Now, +let us go forwards: here are the men's berths, not confined as in a +man-of-war. No! luxury starts from abaft, and is not wholly lost, even +at the fore-peak. This is the kitchen: is it not admirably arranged? +What a _multum in parvo_! And how delightful are the fumes of the +turtle-soup! At sea we do meet with rough weather at times; but, for +roughing it out, give me a _yacht_. Now that I have shown you round the +vessel, I must introduce the parties on board. + +You observe that florid, handsome man in white trousers and blue jacket, +who has a telescope in one hand, and is sipping a glass of brandy and +water which he has just taken off the skylight. That is the owner of the +vessel, and a member of the Yacht Club. It is Lord B--: he looks like a +sailor, and he does not much belie his looks; yet I have seen him in his +robes of state at the opening of the House of Lords. The one near to him +is Mr Stewart, a lieutenant in the navy. He holds on by the rigging with +one hand, because, having been actively employed all his life, he does +not know what to do with hands which have nothing in them. He is +_protege_ of Lord B., and is now on board as sailing-master of the +yacht. + +That handsome, well-built man who is standing by the binnacle, is a Mr +Hautaine. He served six years as midshipman in the navy, and did not +like it. He then served six years in a cavalry regiment, and did not +like it. He then married, and in a much shorter probation, found that he +did not like that. But he is very fond of yachts and other men's wives, +if he does not like his own; and wherever he goes, he is welcome. + +That young man with an embroidered silk waistcoat and white gloves, +bending to talk to one of the ladies, is a Mr Vaughan. He is to be seen +at Almack's, at Crockford's, and everywhere else. Everybody knows him, +and he knows everybody. He is a little in debt, and yachting is +convenient. + +The one who sits by the lady is a relation of Lord B.; you see at once +what he is. He apes the sailor; he has not shaved, because sailors have +no time to shave every day; he has not changed his linen, because +sailors cannot change every day. He has a cigar in his mouth, which +makes him half sick and annoys his company. He talks of the pleasure of +a rough sea, which will drive all the ladies below--and then they will +not perceive that he is more sick than themselves. He has the misfortune +to be born to a large estate, and to be a _fool_. His name is Ossulton. + +The last of the gentlemen on board whom I have to introduce, is Mr +Seagrove. He is slightly made, with marked features full of +intelligence. He has been brought up to the bar; and has every +qualification but application. He has never had a brief, nor has he a +chance of one. He is the fiddler of the company, and he has locked up +his chambers, and come, by invitation of his lordship, to play on board +of his yacht. + +I have yet to describe the ladies--perhaps I should have commenced with +them--I must excuse myself upon the principle of reserving the best to +the last. All puppet-showmen do so: and what is this but the first scene +in my puppet-show? + +We will describe them according to seniority. That tall, thin, +cross-looking lady of forty-five is a spinster, and sister to Lord B. +She has been persuaded very much against her will to come on board; but +her notions of propriety would not permit her niece to embark under the +protection of _only_ her father. She is frightened at everything: if a +rope is thrown down on the deck, up she starts, and cries, "Oh!" if on +the deck, she thinks the water is rushing in below; if down below, and +there is a noise, she is convinced there is danger; and, if it be +perfectly still, she is sure there is something wrong. She fidgets +herself and everybody, and is quite a nuisance with her pride and +ill-humour; but she has strict notions of propriety, and sacrifices +herself as a martyr. She is the Hon. Miss Ossulton. + +The lady who, when she smiles, shows so many dimples in her pretty oval +face, is a young widow of the name of Lascelles. She married an old man +to please her father and mother, which was very dutiful on her part. She +was rewarded by finding herself a widow with a large fortune. Having +married the first time to please her parents, she intends now to marry +to please herself; but she is very young, and is in no hurry. + +The young lady with such a sweet expression of countenance is the Hon. +Miss Cecilia Ossulton. She is lively, witty, and has no fear in her +composition; but she is very young yet, not more than seventeen--and +nobody knows what she really is--she does not know herself. These are +the parties who meet in the cabin of the yacht. The crew consists of ten +fine seamen, the steward, and the cook. There is also Lord B.'s valet, +Mr Ossulton's gentleman, and the lady's maid of Miss Ossulton. There not +being accommodation for them, the other servants have been left on +shore. + +The yacht is now under weigh, and her sails are all set. She is running +between Drake's Island and the main. Dinner has been announced. As the +reader has learnt something about the preparations, I leave him to judge +whether it be not very pleasant to sit down to dinner in a yacht. The +air has given everybody an appetite; and it was not until the cloth was +removed that the conversation became general. + +"Mr Seagrove," said his lordship, "you very nearly lost your passage; I +expected you last Thursday." + +"I am sorry, my lord, that business prevented my sooner attending to +your lordship's kind summons." + +"Come, Seagrove, don't be nonsensical," said Hautaine; "you told me +yourself, the other evening, when you were talkative, that you had never +had a brief in your life." + +"And a very fortunate circumstance," replied Seagrove; "for if I had had +a brief I should not have known what to have done with it. It is not my +fault; I am fit for nothing but a commissioner. But still I had +business, and very important business, too; I was summoned by Ponsonby +to go with him to Tattersall's, to give my opinion about a horse he +wishes to purchase, and then to attend him to Forest Wild to plead his +cause with his uncle." + +"It appears, then, that you were retained," replied Lord B.; "may I ask +you whether your friend gained his cause?" + +"No, my lord, he lost his cause, but he gained a suit." + +"Expound your riddle, sir," said Cecilia Ossulton. + +"The fact is, that old Ponsonby is very anxious that William should +marry Miss Percival, whose estates join on to Forest Wild. Now, my +friend William is about as fond of marriage as I am of law, and thereby +issue was joined." + +"But why were you to be called in?" inquired Mrs Lascelles. + +"Because, madam, as Ponsonby never buys a horse without consulting me--" + +"I cannot see the analogy, sir," observed Miss Ossulton, senior, +bridling up. + +"Pardon me, madam: the fact is," continued Seagrove, "that, as I always +have to back Ponsonby's horses, he thought it right that, in this +instance, I should back him: he required special pleading, but his uncle +tried him for the capital offence, and he was not allowed counsel. As +soon as we arrived, and I had bowed myself into the room, Mr Ponsonby +bowed me out again--which would have been infinitely more jarring to my +feelings, had not the door been left a-jar." + +"Do anything but pun, Seagrove," interrupted Hautaine. + +"Well, then, I will take a glass of wine." + +"Do so," said his lordship; "but, recollect, the whole company are +impatient for your story." + +"I can assure you, my lord, that it was equal to any scene in a comedy." + +Now be it observed that Mr Seagrove had a great deal of comic talent; he +was an excellent mimic, and could alter his voice almost as he pleased. +It was a custom of his to act a scene as between other people, and he +performed it remarkably well. Whenever he said that anything he was +going to narrate was "as good as a comedy," it was generally understood +by those who were acquainted with him, that he was to be asked so to do. +Cecilia Ossulton therefore immediately said, "Pray act it, Mr Seagrove." + +Upon which, Mr Seagrove--premising that he had not only heard, but also +seen all that passed--changing his voice, and suiting the action to the +word, commenced. + +"It may," said he, "be called + + "FIVE THOUSAND ACRES IN A RING-FENCE." + +We shall not describe Mr Seagrove's motions; they must be inferred from +his words. + +"'It will, then, William,' observed Mr Ponsonby, stopping, and turning +to his nephew, after a rapid walk up and down the room with his hands +behind him under his coat, so as to allow the tails to drop their +perpendicular about three inches clear of his body, 'I may say, without +contradiction, be the finest property in the county--five thousand acres +in a ring-fence.' + +"'I dare say it will, uncle,' replied William, tapping his foot as he +lounged in a green morocco easy-chair; 'and so, because you have set +your fancy upon having these two estates enclosed together in a +ring-fence, you wish that I should also be enclosed in a _ring_-fence.' + +"'And a beautiful property it will be,' replied Mr Ponsonby. + +"'Which, uncle?--the estate, or the wife?' + +"'Both, nephew, both; and I expect your consent.' + +"'Uncle, I am not avaricious. Your present property is sufficient for +me. With your permission, instead of doubling the property, and doubling +myself, I will remain your sole heir, and single.' + +"'Observe, William, such an opportunity may not occur again for +centuries. We shall restore Forest Wild to its ancient boundaries. You +know it has been divided nearly two hundred years. We now have a +glorious, golden opportunity of re-uniting the two properties; and when +joined, the estate will be exactly what it was when granted to our +ancestors by Henry the Eighth, at the period of the Reformation. This +house must be pulled down, and the monastery left standing. Then we +shall have our own again, and the property without encumbrance.' + +"'Without encumbrance, uncle! You forget that there will be a wife.' + +"'And you forget that there will be five thousand acres in a +ring-fence.' + +"'Indeed, uncle, you ring it too often in my ears that I should forget +it; but much as I should like to be the happy possessor of such a +property, I do not feel inclined to be the happy possessor of Miss +Percival; and the more so, as I have never seen the property.' + +"'We will ride over it to-morrow, William." + +"'Ride over Miss Percival, uncle! That will not be very gallant. I will, +however, one of these days, ride over the property with you, which, as +well as Miss Percival, I have not as yet seen.' + +"'Then I can tell you, she is a very pretty property.' + +"'If she were not in a ring-fence.' + +"'In good heart, William. That is, I mean an excellent disposition.' + +"'Valuable in matrimony.' + +"'And well tilled--I should say well-educated, by her thee maiden aunts, +who are the patterns of propriety.' + +"'Does any one follow the fashion?' + +"'In a high state of cultivation; that is, her mind highly cultivated, +and according to the last new system--what is it?' + +"'A four-course shift, I presume,' replied William, laughing; 'that is, +dancing, singing, music, and drawing.' + +"'And only seventeen! Capital soil, promising good crops. What would you +have more?' + +"'A very pretty estate, uncle, if it were not the estate of matrimony. I +am sorry, very sorry, to disappoint you; but I must decline taking a +lease of it for life.' + +"'Then, sir, allow me to hint to you that in my testament you are only +tenant-at-will. I consider it a duty that I owe to the family, that the +estate should be re-united. That can only be done by one of our family +marrying Miss Percival; and, as you will not, I shall now write to your +cousin James, and if he accept my proposal, shall make _him_ my heir. +Probably he will more fully appreciate the advantages of five thousand +acres in a ring-fence.' + +"And Mr Ponsonby directed his steps towards the door. + +"'Stop, my dear uncle,' cried William, rising up from his easy-chair; +'we do not quite understand one another. It is very true that I would +prefer half the property and remaining single to the two estates and the +estate of marriage; but, at the same time I did not tell you that I +would prefer beggary to a wife and five thousand acres in a ring-fence. +I know you to be a man of your word;--I accept your proposal, and you +need not put my cousin James to the expense of postage.' + +"'Very good, William; I require no more: and as I know you to be a man +of your word, I shall consider this match as settled. It was on this +account only that I sent for you, and now you may go back again as soon +as you please. I will let you know when all is ready.' + +"'I must be at Tattersall's on Monday, uncle; there is a horse I must +have for next season. Pray, uncle, may I ask when you are likely to want +me?' + +"'Let me see--this is May--about July, I should think.' + +"'July, uncle! Spare me--I cannot marry in the dog-days. No, hang it, +not July.' + +"'Well, William, perhaps, as you must come down once or twice to see the +property--Miss Percival, I should say--it may be too soon--suppose we +put it off till October.' + +"'October--I shall be down at Melton.' + +"'Pray, sir, may I then inquire what portion of the year is not, with +you, _dog_-days?' + +"'Why, uncle, next April, now--I think that would do.' + +"'Next April. Eleven months, and a winter between. Suppose Miss Percival +was to take a cold, and die.' + +"'I should be excessively obliged to her,' thought William. + +"'No! no!' continued Mr Ponsonby: 'there is nothing certain in this +world, William.' + +"'Well, then, uncle, suppose we arrange it for the first _hard frost_.' + +"'We have had no hard frosts lately, William.--We may wait for years.-- +The sooner it is over the better.--Go back to town, buy your horse, and +then come down here--my dear William, to oblige your uncle--never mind +the dog-days.' + +"'Well, sir, if I am to make a sacrifice, it shall not be done by +halves; out of respect for you I will even marry in July, without any +regard to the thermometer.' + +"'You are a good boy, William.--Do you want a cheque?' + +"'I have had one to-day,' thought William, and was almost at fault. 'I +shall be most thankful, sir--they sell horse-flesh by the +ounce now-a-days.' + +"'And you pay in pounds.--There, William.' + +"'Thank you, sir, I'm all obedience; and I'll keep my word, even if +there should be a comet. I'll go and buy the horse, and then I shall be +ready to take the ring-fence as soon as you please.' + +"'Yes, and you'll get over it cleverly, I've no doubt.--Five thousand +acres, William, and--a pretty wife!' + +"'Have you any further commands, uncle?' said William, depositing the +cheque in his pocket-book. + +"'Now, my dear boy, are you going?' + +"'Yes, sir; I dine at the Clarendon.' + +"'Well, then, good-bye.--Make my compliments and excuses to your friend +Seagrove.--You will come on Tuesday or Wednesday.' + +"Thus was concluded the marriage between William Ponsonby and Emily +Percival, and the junction of the two estates, which formed together the +great desideratum,--_five thousand acres in a ring-fence_." + +Mr Seagrove finished, and he looked round for approbation. + +"Very good, indeed, Seagrove," said his lordship, "you must take a glass +of wine after that." + +"I would not give much for Miss Percival's chance of happiness," +observed the elder Miss Ossulton. + +"Of two evils choose the least, they say," observed Mr Hautaine. "Poor +Ponsonby could not help himself." + +"That's a very polite observation of yours, Mr Hautaine--I thank you in +the name of the sex," replied Cecilia Ossulton. + +"Nay, Miss Ossulton; would you like to marry a person whom you never +saw?" + +"Most certainly not; but when you mentioned the two evils, Mr Hautaine, +I appeal to your honour, did you not refer to marriage or beggary?" + +"I must confess it, Miss Ossulton; but it is hardly fair to call on my +honour to get me into a scrape." + +"I only wish that the offer had been made to me," observed Vaughan; "I +should not have hesitated as Ponsonby did." + +"Then I beg you will not think of proposing for me," said Mrs Lascelles, +laughing;--for Mr Vaughan had been excessively attentive. + +"It appears to me, Vaughan," observed Seagrove, "that you have slightly +committed yourself by that remark." + +Vaughan, who thought so too, replied: "Mrs Lascelles must be aware that +I was only joking." + +"Fie! Mr Vaughan," cried Cecilia Ossulton; "you know it came from your +heart." + +"My dear Cecilia," said the elder Miss Ossulton, "you forget yourself-- +what can you possibly know about gentlemen's hearts?" + +"The Bible says, 'that they are deceitful and desperately wicked,' +aunt." + +"And cannot we also quote the Bible against your sex, Miss Ossulton?" +replied Seagrove. + +"Yes, you could, perhaps, if any of you had ever read it," replied Miss +Ossulton, carelessly. + +"Upon my word, Cissy, you are throwing the gauntlet down to the +gentlemen," observed Lord B.; "but I shall throw my warder down, and not +permit this combat _a l'outrance_.--I perceive you drink no more wine, +gentlemen, we will take our coffee on deck." + +"We were just about to retire, my lord," observed the elder Miss +Ossulton, with great asperity: "I have been trying to catch the eye of +Mrs Lascelles for some time, but--" + +"I was looking another way, I presume," interrupted Mrs Lascelles, +smiling. + +"I am afraid that I am the unfortunate culprit," said Mr Seagrove. "I +was telling a little anecdote to Mrs Lascelles--" + +"Which, of course, from its being communicated in an undertone, was not +proper for all the company to hear," replied the elder Miss Ossulton; +"but if Mrs Lascelles is now ready--" continued she, bridling up, as she +rose from her chair. "At all events, I can hear the remainder of it on +deck," replied Mrs Lascelles. The ladies rose, and went into the cabin, +Cecilia and Mrs Lascelles exchanging very significant smiles, as they +followed the precise spinster, who did not choose that Mrs Lascelles +should take the lead, merely because she had once happened to have been +married.--The gentlemen also broke up, and went on deck. + +"We have a nice breeze now, my lord," observed Mr Stewart, who had +remained on deck, "and we lie right up Channel." + +"So much the better," replied his lordship; "we ought to have been +anchored at Cowes a week ago. They will all be there before us." + +"Tell Mr Simpson to bring me a light for my cigar," said Mr Ossulton to +one of the men. + +Mr Stewart went down to his dinner; the ladies and the coffee came on +deck; the breeze was fine, the weather (it was April) almost warm; and +the yacht, whose name was the _Arrow_, assisted by the tide, soon left +the Mewstone far astern. + + + + +Chapter II + +CUTTER THE SECOND + + +Reader, have you ever been at Portsmouth? If you have, you must have +been delighted with the view from the saluting battery; and, if you have +not, you had better go there as soon as you can. From the saluting +battery you may look up the harbour, and see much of what I have +described at Plymouth; the scenery is different; but similar arsenals +and dockyards, and an equal portion of our stupendous navy, are to be +found there.--And you will see Gosport on the other side of the harbour, +and Sally Port close to you; besides a great many other places, which, +from the saluting battery, you cannot see. And then there is Southsea +Beach to your left. Before you, Spithead, with the men-of-war, and the +Motherbank, crowded with merchant vessels;--and there is the buoy where +the _Royal George_ was wrecked, and where she still lies, the fish +swimming in and out of her cabin windows; but that is not all; you can +also see the Isle of Wight,--Ryde, with its long wooden pier, and Cowes, +where the yachts lie. In fact, there is a great deal to be seen at +Portsmouth as well as at Plymouth; but what I wish you particularly to +see, just now, is a vessel holding fast to the buoy, just off the +saluting battery. She is a cutter; and you may know that she belongs to +the Preventive Service by the number of gigs and galleys which she has +hoisted up all round her. She looks like a vessel that was about to sail +with a cargo of boats. Two on deck, one astern, one on each side of her. +You observe that she is painted black, and all her boats are white. She +is not such an elegant vessel as the yacht, and she is much more +lumbered up. She has no haunches of venison over the stern; but I think +there is a leg of mutton, and some cabbages hanging by their stalks. But +revenue-cutters are not yachts.--You will find no turtle or champagne; +but, nevertheless, you will, perhaps, find a joint to carve at, a good +glass of grog, and a hearty welcome. + +Let us go on board.--You observe the guns are iron, and painted black, +and her bulwarks are painted red; it is not a very becoming colour; but +then it lasts a long while, and the dock-yard is not very generous on +the score of paint--or lieutenants of the navy troubled with much spare +cash. She has plenty of men, and fine men they are; all dressed in red +flannel shirts, and blue trousers; some of them have not taken off their +canvas or tarpaulin petticoats, which are very useful to them, as they +are in the boats night and day, and in all weathers. But we will at once +go down into the cabin, where we shall find the lieutenant who commands +her, a master's mate, and a midshipman. They have each their tumbler +before them, and are drinking gin-toddy, hot, with sugar--capital gin, +too, 'bove proof; it is from that small anker, standing under the table. +It was one that they forgot to return to the custom-house when they made +their last seizure. We must introduce them. + +The elderly personage, with grizzly hair and whiskers, a round pale +face, and a somewhat red nose (being too much in the wind will make the +nose red, and this old officer is very often "in the wind," of course, +from the very nature of his profession), is a Lieutenant Appleboy. He +has served in every class of vessel in the service, and done the duty of +first lieutenant for twenty years; he is now on promotion--that is to +say, after he has taken a certain number of tubs of gin, he will be +rewarded with his rank as commander. It is a pity that what he takes +inside of him does not count, for he takes it morning, noon, and night. +--He is just filling his fourteenth glass: he always keeps a regular +account, as he never exceeds his limited number, which is seventeen; +then he is exactly down to his bearings. + +The master's mate's name is Tomkins; he has served his six years three +times over, and has now outgrown his ambition; which is fortunate for +him, as his chances of promotion are small. He prefers a small vessel to +a large one, because he is not obliged to be so particular in his dress +--and looks for his lieutenancy whenever there shall be another charity +promotion. He is fond of soft bread, for his teeth are all absent +without leave; he prefers porter to any other liquor, but he can drink +his glass of grog, whether it be based upon rum, brandy, or the liquor +now before him. + +Mr Smith is the name of that young gentleman, whose jacket is so out at +the elbows; he has been intending to mend it these last two months, but +is too lazy to go to his chest for another. He has been turned out of +half the ships in the service for laziness; but he was born so--and +therefore it is not his fault.--A revenue-cutter suits him, she is half +her time hove to; and he has no objection to boat-service, as he sits +down always in the stern-sheets, which is not fatiguing. Creeping for +tubs is his delight, as he gets over so little ground. He is fond of +grog, but there is some trouble in carrying the tumbler so often to his +mouth; so he looks at it, and lets it stand. He says little, because he +is too lazy to speak. He has served more than _eight years;_ but as for +passing--it has never come into his head. Such are the three persons who +are now sitting in the cabin of the revenue-cutter, drinking hot +gin-toddy. + +"Let me see, it was, I think, in ninety-three or ninety-four. Before you +were in the service, Tomkins.--" + +"Maybe, sir; it's so long ago since I entered, that I can't recollect +dates,--but this I know, that my aunt died three days before." + +"Then the question is, when did your aunt die?" + +"Oh! she died about a year after my uncle." + +"And when did your uncle die?" + +"I'll be hanged if I know!" + +"Then, d'ye see, you've no departure to work from. However, I think you +cannot have been in the service at that time. We were not quite so +particular about uniform as we are now." + +"Then I think the service was all the better for it. Now-a-days, in your +crack ships, a mate has to go down in the hold or spirit-room, and after +whipping up fifty empty casks, and breaking out twenty full ones, he is +expected to come on quarter-deck as clean as if he was just come out of +a band-box." + +"Well, there's plenty of water alongside, as far as the outward man +goes, and iron dust is soon brushed off. However, as you say, perhaps a +little too much is expected; at least, in five of the ships in which I +was first-lieutenant, the captain was always hauling me over the coals +about the midshipmen not dressing properly, as if I was their dry-nurse. +I wonder what Captain Prigg would have said, if he had seen such a +turn-out as you, Mr Smith, on his quarter-deck." + +"I should have had one turn-out more," drawled Smith. + +"With your out-at-elbows jacket, there, heh!" continued Mr Appleboy. + +Smith turned up his elbows, looked at one and then at the other: after +so fatiguing an operation, he was silent. + +"Well, where was I? Oh! it was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I +said, that it happened--Tomkins, fill your glass, and hand me the sugar +--how do I get on? This is No. 15," said Appleboy, counting some white +lines on the table by him; and taking up a piece of chalk, he marked one +more line on his tally. "I don't think this is so good a tub as the +last, Tomkins, there's a twang about it--a want of juniper--however, I +hope we shall have better luck this time. Of course, you know we sail +to-morrow?" + +"I presume so, by the leg of mutton coming on board." + +"True--true--I'm regular--as clock-work.--After being twenty years a +first-lieutenant, one gets a little method--I like regularity. Now the +admiral has never omitted asking me to dinner once, every time I have +come into harbour, except this time--I was so certain of it, that I +never expected to sail; and I have but two shirts clean in consequence." + +"That's odd, isn't it? and the more so, because he has had such great +people down here, and has been giving large parties every day." + +"And yet I made three seizures, besides sweeping up those thirty-seven +tubs." + +"I swept them up," observed Smith. + +"That's all the same thing, _younker_.--When you've been a little longer +in the service, you'll find out that the commanding officer has the +merit of all that is done--but you're _green_ yet. Let me see, where was +I? Oh!--It was about ninety-three or ninety-four, as I said. At that +time I was in the Channel fleet--Tomkins, I'll trouble you for the hot +water; this water's cold.--Mr Smith, do me the favour to ring the bell. +--Jem, some more hot water." + +"Please, sir," said Jem, who was barefooted as well as bare-headed, +touching the lock of hair on his forehead, "the cook has capsized the +kettle--but he has put more on." + +"Capsized the kettle! Ha!--very well--we'll talk about that to-morrow. +Mr Tomkins, do me the favour to put him in the report, I may forget it. +And pray, sir, how long is it since he has put more on?" + +"Just this moment, sir, as I came aft." + +"Very well, we'll see to that to-morrow:--You bring the kettle aft as +soon as it is ready. I say, Mr Jem, is that fellow sober?" + +"Yees, sir, he be sober as you be." + +"It's quite astonishing what a propensity the common sailors have to +liquor. Forty odd years have I been in the service, and I've never found +any difference: I only wish I had a guinea for every time that I have +given a fellow seven-water grog during my servitude as first-lieutenant, +I wouldn't call the king my cousin. Well, if there's no hot water, we +must take lukewarm--it won't do to heave to. By the Lord Harry! who +would have thought it?--I'm at number sixteen! Let me count--yes!-- +surely I must have made a mistake. A fact, by Heaven!" continued Mr +Appleboy, throwing the chalk down on the table. "Only one more glass, +after this--that is, if I have counted right--I may have seen double." + +"Yes," drawled Smith. + +"Well, never mind--let's go on with my story.--It was either in the year +ninety-three or ninety-four, that I was in the Channel fleet--we were +then abreast of Torbay--" + +"Here be the hot water, sir," cried Jem, putting the kettle down on the +deck. + +"Very well, boy--by-the-bye, has the jar of butter come on board?" + +"Yes, but it broke all down the middle; I tied him up with a ropeyarn." + +"Who broke it, sir?" + +"Coxswain says as how he didn't." + +"But who did, sir?" + +"Coxswain handed it up to Bill Jones, and he says as how he didn't." + +"But who did, sir?" + +"Bill Jones gave it to me, and I'm sure as how I didn't." + +"Then who did, sir, I ask you?" + +"I think it be Bill Jones, sir, 'cause he's fond of butter, I know, and +there be very little left in the jar." + +"Very _well_, we'll see to that to-morrow morning. Mr Tomkins, you'll +oblige me by putting the butter-jar down in the report, in case it +should slip my memory. Bill Jones, indeed, looks as if butter wouldn't +melt in his mouth--never mind. Well, it was, as I said before--it was in +the year ninety-three or ninety-four, when I was in the Channel fleet; +we were then off Torbay, and had just: taken two reefs in the top-sails. +Stop, before I go on with my story, I'll take my last glass--I think +it's the last: let me count--yes, by heavens I make out sixteen, well +told. Never mind, it shall be a stiff one. Boy, bring the kettle, and +mind you don't pour the hot water into my shoes, as you did the other +night. There, that will do. Now, Tomkins, fill up yours; and you, Mr +Smith: let us all start fair, and then you shall have my story--and a +very curious one it is, I can tell you; I wouldn't have believed it +myself if I hadn't seen it. Hilloa! what's this? confound it! what's the +matter with the toddy? Heh, Mr Tomkins?" + +Mr Tomkins tasted, but, like the lieutenant, he had made it very stiff; +and, as he had also taken largely before, he was, like him, not quite so +clear in his discrimination: "It has a queer _twang_, sir: Smith, what +is it?" + +Smith took up his glass, tasted the contents. + +"_Salt water"_ drawled the midshipman. + +"Salt water! so it is, by heavens!" cried Mr Appleboy. + +"Salt as Lot's wife!--by all that's infamous!" cried the master's mate. + +"Salt water, sir!" cried Jem in a fright, expecting a _salt_ eel for +supper. + +"Yes, sir," replied Mr Appleboy, tossing the contents of the tumbler in +the boy's face, "salt water. Very well, sir,--very well!" + +"It warn't me, sir," replied the boy, making up a piteous look. + +"No, sir, but you said the cook was sober." + +"He was not so _very_ much disguised, sir," replied Jem. + +"Oh! very well--never mind. Mr Tomkins, in case I should forget it, do +me the favour to put the kettle of salt water down in the report. The +scoundrel! I'm very sorry, gentlemen, but there's no means of having any +more gin-toddy,--but never mind, we'll see to this to-morrow. Two can +play at this; and if I don't salt-water their grog, and make them drink +it, too, I have been twenty years a first-lieutenant for nothing--that's +all. Good night, gentlemen; and," continued the lieutenant, in a severe +tone, "you'll keep a sharp look-out, Mr Smith--do you hear, sir?" + +"Yes," drawled Smith, "but it's not my watch; it was my first watch, +and, just now, it struck one bell." + +"You'll keep the middle watch, then, Mr Smith," said Mr Appleboy, who +was not a little put out; "and, Mr Tomkins, let me know as soon as it's +daylight. Boy, get my bed made. Salt water, by all that's blue! However, +we'll see to that to-morrow morning." + +Mr Appleboy then turned in; so did Mr Tomkins; and so did Mr Smith, who +had no idea of keeping the middle watch because the cook was drunk and +had filled up the kettle with salt water. As for what happened in +ninety-three or ninety-four, I really would inform the reader if I knew, +but I am afraid that that most curious story is never to be handed down +to posterity. + +The next morning, Mr Tomkins, as usual, forgot to report the cook, the +jar of butter, and the kettle of salt water; and Mr Appleboy's wrath had +long been appeased before he remembered them. At daylight the lieutenant +came on deck, having only slept away half of the sixteen, and a taste of +the seventeenth salt-water glass of gin-toddy. He rubbed his grey eyes, +that he might peer through the grey of the morning; the fresh breeze +blew about his grizzly locks, and cooled his rubicund nose. The +revenue-cutter, whose name was the _Active_, cast off from the buoy; +and, with a fresh breeze, steered her course for the Needles' passage. + + + + +Chapter III + +CUTTER THE THIRD + + +Reader! have you been to St Maloes? If you have, you were glad enough to +leave the hole; and, if you have not, take my advice, and do not give +yourself the trouble to go and see that, or any other French port in the +Channel. There is not one worth looking at. They have made one or two +artificial ports, and they are no great things; there is no getting out, +or getting in. In fact, they have no harbours in the Channel, while we +have the finest in the world; a peculiar dispensation of Providence, +because it knew that we should want them, and France would not. In +France, what are called ports are all alike, nasty narrow holes, only to +be entered at certain times of tide and certain winds; made up of basins +and back-waters, custom-houses, and cabarets; just fit for smugglers to +run into, and nothing more; and, therefore, they are used for very +little else. + +Now, in the dog-hole called St Maloes there is some pretty land, +although a great deficiency of marine scenery. But never mind that: stay +at home, and don't go abroad to drink sour wine, because they call it +Bordeaux, and eat villanous trash, so disguised by cooking that you +cannot possibly tell which of the birds of the air, or beasts of the +field, or fishes of the sea, you are cramming down your throat. "If all +is right, there is no occasion for disguise," is an old saying; so +depend upon it, that there is something wrong, and that you are eating +offal, under a grand French name. They eat everything in France, and +would serve you up the head of a monkey who has died of the smallpox, as +_singe au petite verole_--that is, if you did not understand French; if +you did, they would call it, _Tete d'amour a l'Ethiopique,_ and then you +would be even more puzzled. As for their wine, there is no disguise in +that--it's half vinegar. No, no! stay at home; you can live just as +cheaply, if you choose; and then you will have good meat, good +vegetables, good ale, good beer, and a good glass of grog--and what is +of more importance, you will be in good company. Live with your friends, +and don't make a fool of yourself. + +I would not have condescended to have noticed this place, had it not +been that I wish you to observe a vessel which is lying along the +pier-wharf, with a plank from the shore to her gunnel. It is low water, +and she is aground, and the plank dips down at such an angle that it is +a work of danger to go either in or out of her. You observe that there +is nothing very remarkable in her. She is a cutter, and a good sea-boat, +and sails well before the wind. She is short for her breadth of beam, +and is not armed. Smugglers do not arm now--the service is too +dangerous; they effect their purpose by cunning, not by force. +Nevertheless, it requires that smugglers should be good seamen, smart, +active fellows, and keen-witted, or they can do nothing. This vessel has +not a large cargo in her, but it is valuable. She has some thousand +yards of lace, a few hundred pounds of tea, a few bales of silk, and +about forty ankers of brandy--just as much as they can land in one boat. +All they ask is a heavy gale or a thick fog, and they trust to +themselves for success. + +There is nobody on board except a boy; the crew are all up at the +cabaret, settling their little accounts of every description--for they +smuggle both ways, and every man has his own private venture. There they +are all, fifteen of them, and fine-looking fellows, too, sitting at that +long table. They are very merry, but quite sober, as they are to sail +to-night. + +The captain of the vessel (whose name, by-the-bye is the +"_Happy-go-lucky_,"--the captain christened her himself) is that +fine-looking young man, with dark whiskers, meeting under his throat. +His name is Jack Pickersgill. You perceive, at once, that he is much +above a common sailor in appearance. His manners are good, he is +remarkably handsome, very clean, and rather a dandy in his dress. +Observe, how very politely he takes off his hat to that Frenchman, with +whom he has just settled accounts; he beats Johnny Crapeau at his own +weapons. And then there is an air of command, a feeling of conscious +superiority about Jack; see how he treats the landlord, _de haut en +bas_, at the same time that he is very civil. The fact is, that Jack is +of a very good, old family, and received a very excellent education; but +he was an orphan, his friends were poor, and could do but little for +him: he went out to India as a cadet, ran away, and served in a schooner +which smuggled opium into China, and then came home. He took a liking to +the employment, and is now laying up a very pretty little sum: not that +he intends to stop: no, as soon as he has enough to fit out a vessel for +himself, he intends to start again for India, and with two cargoes of +opium, he will return, he trusts, with a handsome fortune, and re-assume +his family name. Such are Jack's intentions; and, as he eventually means +to reappear as a gentleman, he preserves his gentlemanly habits: he +neither drinks, nor chews, nor smokes. He keeps his hands clean, wears +rings, and sports a gold snuff-box; notwithstanding which, Jack is one +of the boldest and best of sailors, and the men know it. He is full of +fun, and as keen as a razor. Jack has a very heavy venture this time-- +all the lace is his own speculation, and if he gets it in safe, he will +clear some thousands of pounds. A certain fashionable shop in London has +already agreed to take the whole off his hands. + +That short, neatly-made young man is the second in command, and the +companion of the captain. He is clever, and always has a remedy to +propose when there is a difficulty, which is a great quality in a second +in command. His name is Corbett. He is always merry--half-sailor, +half-tradesman; knows the markets, runs up to London, and does business +as well as a chapman--lives for the day, and laughs at to-morrow. + +That little punchy old man, with long gray hair and fat face, with a +nose like a note of interrogation, is the next personage of importance. +He ought to be called the sailing-master, for, although he goes on shore +in France, off the English coast he never quits the vessel. When they +leave her with the goods, he remains on board; he is always to be found +off any part of the coast where he may be ordered; holding his position +in defiance of gales, and tides, and fogs: as for the revenue-vessels, +they all know him well enough, but they cannot touch a vessel in +ballast, if she has no more men on board than allowed by her tonnage. He +knows every creek, and hole, and corner, of the coast; how the tide runs +in--tide, half-tide, eddy, or current. That is his value. His name is +Morrison. + +You observe that Jack Pickersgill has two excellent supporters in +Corbett and Morrison; his other men are good seamen, active, and +obedient, which is all that he requires. I shall not particularly +introduce them. + +"Now you may call for another _litre_, my lads, and that must be the +last; the tide is flowing fast, and we shall be afloat in half an hour, +and we have just the breeze we want. What d'ye think, Morrison, shall we +have dirt?" + +"I've been looking just now, and if it were any other month in the year +I should say, yes; but there's no trusting April, captain. Howsomever, +if it does blow off, I'll promise you a fog in three hours afterwards." + +"That will do as well. Corbett, have you settled with Duval?" + +"Yes, after more noise and _charivari_ than a panic in the Stock +Exchange would make in England. He fought and squabbled for an hour, and +I found that, without some abatement, I never should have settled the +affair." + +"What did you let him off?" + +"Seventeen sous," replied Corbett, laughing. + +"And that satisfied him?" inquired Pickersgill. + +"Yes--it was all he could prove to be a _surfaire_: two of the knives +were a little rusty. But he will always have something off; he could not +be happy without it. I really think he would commit suicide, if he had +to pay a bill without a deduction." + +"Let him live," replied Pickersgill. "Jeannette, a bottle of Volnay, of +1811, and three glasses." + +Jeannette, who was the _fille de cabaret_, soon appeared with a bottle +of wine, seldom called for, except by the captain of the +_Happy-go-lucky_. + +"You sail to-night?" said she, as she placed the bottle before him. + +Pickersgill nodded his head. + +"I had a strange dream," said Jeannette; "I thought you were all taken +by a revenue cutter, and put in a _cachot_. I went to see you, and I did +not know one of you again--you were all changed." + +"Very likely, Jeannette--you would not be the first who did not know +their friends again when in misfortune. There was nothing strange in +your dream." + +"_Mais, mon Dieu! je ne suis pas comme ca moi_." + +"No, that you are not, Jeannette; you are a good girl, and some of these +fine days I'll marry you," said Corbett. + +"_Doit etre bien beau ce jour la, par exemple_," replied Jeannette, +laughing; "you have promised to marry me every time you have come in, +these last three years." + +"Well, that proves I keep to my promise, any how." + +"Yes; but you never go any further." + +"I can't spare him, Jeannette, that is the real truth," said the +captain: "but wait a little--in the meantime, here is a five-franc piece +to add to your _petite fortune_." + +"_Merci bien, monsieur le capitaine; bon voyage!_" Jeannette held her +finger up to Corbett, saying, with a smile, "_mechant!_" and then +quitted the room. + +"Come, Morrison, help us to empty this bottle, and then we will all go +on board." + +"I wish that girl wouldn't come here with her nonsensical dreams," said +Morrison, taking his seat; "I don't like it. When she said that we +should be taken by a revenue cutter, I was looking at a blue and a white +pigeon sitting on the wall opposite; and I said to myself, now, if that +be a warning, I will see: if the _blue_ pigeon flies away first, I shall +be in jail in a week; if the _white,_ I shall be back here." + +"Well?" said Pickersgill, laughing. + +"It wasn't well," answered Morrison, tossing off his wine, and putting +the glass down with a deep sigh; "for the cursed _blue_ pigeon flew away +immediately." + +"Why, Morrison, you must have a chicken-heart to be frightened at a blue +pigeon," said Corbett, laughing, and looking out of the window; "at all +events, he has come back again, and there he is sitting by the white +one." + +"It's the first time that ever I was called chicken-hearted," replied +Morrison, in wrath. + +"Nor do you deserve it, Morrison," replied Pickersgill; "but Corbett is +only joking." + +"Well, at all events, I'll try my luck in the same way, and see whether +I am to be in jail: I shall take the blue pigeon as my bad omen, as you +did." + +The sailors and Captain Pickersgill all rose and went to the window, to +ascertain Corbett's fortune by this new species of augury. The blue +pigeon flapped his wings, and then he sidled up to the white one; at +last, the white pigeon flew off the wall and settled on the roof of the +adjacent house. "Bravo, white pigeon!" said Corbett; "I shall be here +again in a week." The whole party, laughing, then resumed their seats; +and Morrison's countenance brightened up. As he took the glass of wine +poured out by Pickersgill, he said, "Here's your health, Corbett; it was +all nonsense, after all--for, d'ye see, I can't be put in jail without +you are. We all sail in the same boat, and when you leave me, you take +with you everything that can condemn the vessel--so here's success to +our trip." + +"We will all drink that toast, my lads, and then on board," said the +captain; "here's success to our trip." + +The captain rose, as did the mates and men, drank the toast, turned down +the drinking-vessels on the table, hastened to the wharf, and, in half +an hour, the _Happy-go-lucky_ was clear of the port of St Maloes. + + + + +Chapter IV + +PORTLAND BILL + + +The _Happy-go-lucky_ sailed with a fresh breeze and a flowing sheet from +St Maloes, the evening before the _Arrow_ sailed from Barn Pool. The +_Active_ sailed from Portsmouth the morning after. + +The yacht, as we before observed, was bound to Cowes, in the Isle of +Wight. The _Active_ had orders to cruise wherever she pleased within the +limits of the admiral's station; and she ran for West Bay, on the other +side of the Bill of Portland. The _Happy-go-lucky_ was also bound for +that bay to land her cargo. + +The wind was light, and there was every appearance of fine weather, when +the _Happy-go-lucky_, at ten o'clock on the Tuesday night, made the +Portland lights; as it was impossible to run her cargo that night, she +hove to. + +At eleven o'clock, the Portland lights were made by the revenue cutter +_Active_. Mr Appleboy went up to have a look at them, ordered the cutter +to be hove to, and then went down to finish his allowance of gin-toddy. +At twelve o'clock, the yacht _Arrow_ made the Portland lights, and +continued her course, hardly stemming the ebb tide. + +Day broke, and the horizon was clear. The first on the look-out were, of +course, the smugglers; they, and those on board the revenue cutter, were +the only two interested parties--the yacht was neuter. + +"There are two cutters in sight, sir," said Corbett, who had the watch; +for Pickersgill, having been up the whole night, had thrown himself down +on the bed with his clothes on. + +"What do they look like?" said Pickersgill, who was up in a moment. + +"One is a yacht, and the other may be; but I rather think, as far as I +can judge in the gray, that it is our old friend off here." + +"What! old Appleboy?" + +"Yes, it looks like him; but the day has scarcely broke yet." + +"Well, he can do nothing in a light wind like this; and before the wind +we can show him our heels; but are you sure the other is a yacht?" said +Pickersgill, coming on deck. + +"Yes; the king is more careful of his canvas." + +"You're right," said Pickersgill, "that is a yacht; and you're right +there again in your guess--that is the stupid old _Active_, which creeps +about creeping for tubs. Well, I see nothing to alarm us at present, +provided it don't fall a dead calm, and then we must take to our boat as +soon as he takes to his; we are four miles from him at least. Watch his +motions, Corbett, and see if he lowers a boat. What does she go now? +Four knots?--that will soon tire their men." + +The positions of the three cutters were as follows:-- + +The _Happy-go-lucky_ was about four miles off Portland Head, and well +into West Bay. The revenue cutter was close to the Head. The yacht was +outside of the smuggler, about two miles to the westward, and about five +or six miles from the revenue cutter. + +"Two vessels in sight, sir," said Mr Smith, coming down into the cabin +to Mr Appleboy. + +"Very well," replied the lieutenant, who was _lying_ down in his +_standing_ bed-place. + +"The people say one is the _Happy-go-lucky,_ sir," drawled Smith. + +"Heh? what! _Happy-go-lucky?_ Yes, I recollect; I've boarded her twenty +times--always empty. How's she standing?" + +"She stands to the westward now, sir; but she was hove to, they say, +when they first saw her." + +"Then she has a cargo in her;" and Mr Appleboy shaved himself, dressed, +and went on deck. + +"Yes," said the lieutenant, rubbing his eyes again and again, and then +looking through the glass, "it is her sure enough. Let draw the fore +sheet--hands make sail. What vessel's the other?" + +"Don't know, sir,--she's a cutter." + +"A cutter? yes; may be a yacht, or may be the new cutter ordered on the +station. Make all sail, Mr Tomkins; hoist our pendant, and fire a gun-- +they will understand what we mean then; they don't know the +_Happy-go-lucky_ as well as we do." + +In a few minutes the _Active_ was under a press of sail; she hoisted her +pendant, and fired a gun. The smuggler perceived that the _Active_ had +recognised her, and she also threw out more canvas, and ran off more to +the westward. + +"There's a gun, sir," reported one of the men to Mr Stewart, on board of +the yacht. + +"Yes; give me the glass--a revenue cutter; then this vessel in shore, +running towards us, must be a smuggler." + +"She has just now made all sail, sir." + +"Yes, there's no doubt of it; I will go down to his lordship--keep her +as she goes." + +Mr Stewart then went down to inform Lord B. of the circumstance. Not +only Lord B., but most of the gentlemen came on deck; as did soon +afterwards the ladies, who had received the intelligence from Lord B., +who spoke to them through the door of the cabin. + +But the smuggler had more wind than the revenue cutter, and increased +her distance. + +"If we were to wear round now, my lord," observed Mr Stewart, "she is +just abreast of us and in shore, we could prevent her escape." + +"Round with her, Mr Stewart," said Lord B.; "we must do our duty, and +protect the laws." + +"That will not be fair, papa," said Cecilia Ossulton; "we have no +quarrel with the smugglers: I'm sure the ladies have not, for they bring +us beautiful things." + +"Miss Ossulton," observed her aunt, "it is not proper for you to offer +an opinion." + +The yacht wore round, and, sailing so fast, the smuggler had little +chance of escaping her; but to chase is one thing--to capture, another. + +"Let us give her a gun," said Lord B., "that will frighten her; and he +dare not cross our hawse." + +The gun was loaded, and not being more than a mile from the smuggler, +actually threw the ball almost a quarter of the way. + +The gentlemen, as well as Lord B., were equally excited by the ardour of +pursuit; but the wind died away, and at last it was nearly calm. The +revenue cutter's boats were out, and coming up fast. + +"Let us get our boat out, Stewart," said his lordship; "and help them; +it is quite calm now." + +The boat was soon out: it was a very large one, usually stowed on, and +occupied a large portion of, the deck. It pulled six oars; and when it +was manned, Mr Stewart jumped in, and Lord B. followed him. + +"But you have no arms," said Mr Hautaine. + +"The smugglers never resist now," observed Stewart. + +"Then you are going on a very gallant expedition, indeed," observed +Cecilia Ossulton; "I wish you joy." + +But Lord B. was too much excited to pay attention. They shoved off, and +pulled towards the smuggler. + +At this time, the revenue boats were about five miles astern of the +_Happy-go-lucky_, and the yacht about three-quarters of a mile from her +in the offing. Pickersgill had, of course, observed the motions of the +yacht; had seen her wear on chase, hoist her ensign and pendant, and +fire her gun. + +"Well," said he, "this is the blackest ingratitude; to be attacked by +the very people whom we smuggle for. I only wish she may come up with +us; and, let her attempt to interfere, she shall rue the day: I don't +much like this, though." + +As we before observed, it fell nearly calm, and the revenue boats were +in chase. Pickersgill watched them as they came up. + +"What shall we do," said Corbett,--"get the boat out?" + +"Yes," replied Pickersgill, "we will get the boat out, and have the +goods in her all ready; but we can pull faster than they do, in the +first place; and, in the next, they will be pretty well tired before +they come up to us. We are fresh, and shall soon walk away from them; so +I shall not leave the vessel till they are within half a mile. We must +sink the ankers, that they may not seize the vessel, for it is not worth +while taking them with us. Pass them along ready to run them over the +bows, that they may not see us and swear to it. But we have a good half +hour, and more." + +"Ay, and you may hold all fast if you choose," said Morrison, "although +it's better to be on the right side and get ready; otherwise, before +half an hour, I'll swear that we are out of their sight. Look there," +said he, pointing to the eastward at a heavy bank, "it's coming right +down upon us, as I said it would." + +"True enough; but still there is no saying which will come first, +Morrison; the boats or the fog, so we must be prepared." + +"Hilloa! what's this? why, there's a boat coming from the yacht!" + +Pickersgill took out his glass. + +"Yes, and the yacht's own boat, with the name painted on her bows. Well, +let them come--we will have no ceremony in resisting them; they are not +in the Act of Parliament, and must take the consequences. We have nought +to fear. Get stretchers, my lads, and hand-spikes; they row six oars, +and are three in the stern sheets--they must be good men if they take +us." + +In a few minutes Lord B. was close to the smuggler. + +"Boat, ahoy! what do you want?" + +"Surrender in the king's name." + +"To what, and to whom, and what are we to surrender? We are an English +vessel coasting along shore." + +"Pull on board, my lads," cried Stewart; "I am a king's officer--we know +her." + +The boat darted alongside, and Stewart and Lord B., followed by the men, +jumped on the deck. + +"Well, gentlemen, what do you want?" said Pickersgill. + +"We seize you--you are a smuggler; there's no denying it: look at the +casks of spirits stretched along the deck." + +"We never said that we were not smugglers," replied Pickersgill; "but +what is that to you? You are not a king's ship, or employed by the +revenue." + +"No, but we carry a pendant, and it is our duty to protect the laws." + +"And who are you?" said Pickersgill. + +"I am Lord B." + +"Then, my lord, allow me to say that you would do much better to attend +to the framing of laws, and leave people of less consequence, like those +astern of me, to execute them. 'Mind your own business,' is an old +adage. We shall not hurt you, my lord, as you have only employed words, +but we shall put it out of your power to hurt us. Come aft, my lads. +Now, my lord, resistance is useless; we are double your numbers, and you +have caught a Tartar." + +Lord B. and Mr Stewart perceived that they were in an awkward +predicament. + +"You may do what you please," observed Mr Stewart, "but the revenue +boats are coming up, recollect." + +"Look you, sir, do you see the revenue cutter?" said Pickersgill. + +Stewart looked in that direction, and saw that she was hidden in the +fog. + +"In five minutes, sir, the boats will be out of sight also, and so will +your vessel; we have nothing to fear from them." + +"Indeed, my lord, we had better return," said Mr Stewart, who perceived +that Pickersgill was right. + +"I beg your pardon, you will not go on board your yacht so soon as you +expect. Take the oars out of the boat, my lads, two or three of you, and +throw in a couple of our paddles for them to reach the shore with. The +rest of you knock down the first man who offers to resist. You are not +aware, perhaps, my lord, that you have attempted _piracy_ on the high +seas?" + +Stewart looked at Lord B. It was true enough. The men of the yacht could +offer no resistance; the oars were taken out of the boat, and the men +put in again. + +"My lord," said Pickersgill, "your boat is manned--do me the favour to +step into it; and you, sir, do the same. I should be sorry to lay my +hands upon a peer of the realm, or a king's officer even on half pay." + +Remonstrance was vain; his lordship was led to the boat by two of the +smugglers, and Stewart followed. + +"I will leave your oars, my lord, at the Weymouth Custom-house; and I +trust this will be a lesson to you in future to 'mind your own +business.'" + +The boat was shoved off from the sloop by the smugglers, and was soon +lost sight of in the fog, which had now covered the revenue boats as +well as the yacht; at the same time, it brought down a breeze from the +eastward. + +"Haul to the wind, Morrison," said Pickersgill, "we will stand out to +get rid of the boats; if they pull on, they will take it for granted +that we shall run into the bay, as will the revenue cutter." + +Pickersgill and Corbett were in conversation abaft for a short time, +when the former desired the course to be altered two points. + +"Keep silence all of you, my lads, and let me know if you hear a gun or +a bell from the yacht," said Pickersgill. + +"There is a gun, sir, close to us," said one of the men; "the sound was +right ahead." + +"That will do, keep her as she goes. Aft here, my lads; we cannot run +our cargo in the bay, for the cutter has been seen to chase us, and they +will all be on the look-out at the preventive stations for us on shore. +Now, my lads, I have made up my mind that, as these yacht gentlemen have +thought proper to interfere, I will take possession of the yacht for a +few days. We shall then out-sail everything, go where we like +unsuspected, and land our cargo with ease. I shall run alongside of her +--she can have but few hands on board; and mind, do not hurt anybody, +but be civil and obey my orders. Morrison, you and your four men and the +boy will remain on board as before, and take the vessel to Cherbourg, +where we will join you." + +In a short time another gun was fired from the yacht. + +Those on board, particularly the ladies, were alarmed; the fog was very +thick, and they could not distinguish the length of the vessel. They had +seen the boat board, but had not seen her turned adrift without oars, as +the fog came on just at that time. The yacht was left with only three +seamen on board, and, should it come on bad weather, they were in an +awkward predicament. Mr Hautaine had taken the command, and ordered the +guns to be fired that the boat might be enabled to find them. The fourth +gun was loading, when they perceived the smuggler's cutter close to them +looming through the fog. + +"Here they are," cried the seamen; "and they have brought the prize +along with them! Three cheers for the _Arrow_!" + +"Hilloa! you'll be on board of us?" cried Hautaine. + +"That's exactly what I intended to be, sir," replied Pickersgill, +jumping on the quarter-deck, followed by his men. + +"Who the devil are you?" + +"That's exactly the same question that I asked Lord B. when he boarded +us," replied Pickersgill, taking off his hat to the ladies. + +"Well, but what business have you here?" + +"Exactly the same question which I put to Lord B.," replied Pickersgill. + +"Where is Lord B., sir?" said Cecilia Ossulton, going up to the +smuggler; "is he safe?" + +"Yes, madam, he is safe; at least he is in his boat with all his men, +and unhurt: but you must excuse me if I request you and the other ladies +to go down below while I speak to these gentlemen. Be under no alarm, +miss; you will receive neither insult nor ill-treatment--I have only +taken possession of this vessel for the present." + +"Take possession," cried Hautaine, "of a yacht." + +"Yes, sir, since the owner of the yacht thought proper to attempt to +take possession of me. I always thought that yachts were +pleasure-vessels, sailing about for amusement, respected themselves, and +not interfering with others; but it appears that such is not the case. +The owner of this yacht has thought proper to break through the +neutrality, and commence aggression, and under such circumstances I have +now, in retaliation, taken possession of her." + +"And, pray, what do you mean to do, sir?" + +"Simply for a few days to make an exchange. I shall send you on board of +my vessel as smugglers, while I remain here with the ladies and amuse +myself with yachting." + +"Why, sir, you cannot mean--" + +"I have said, gentlemen, and that is enough; I should be sorry to resort +to violence, but I must be obeyed. You have, I perceive, three seamen +only left: they are not sufficient to take charge of the vessel, and +Lord B. and the others you will not meet for several days. My regard for +the ladies, even common humanity, points out to me that I cannot leave +the vessel in this crippled condition. At the same time, as I must have +hands on board of my own, you will oblige me by going on board and +taking her safely into port. It is the least return you can make for my +kindness. In those dresses, gentlemen, you will not be able to do your +duty; oblige me by shifting, and putting on these." Corbett handed a +flannel shirt, a rough jacket and trousers, to Messrs Hautaine, +Ossulton, Vaughan, and Seagrove. After some useless resistance they were +stripped, and having put on the smugglers' attire, they were handed on +board of the _Happy-go-lucky_. + +The three English seamen were also sent on board and confined below, as +well as Ossulton's servant, who was also equipped like his master, and +confined below with the seamen. Corbett and the men then handed up all +the smuggled goods into the yacht, dropped the boat, and made it fast +astern; and, Morrison having received his directions, the vessels +separated--Morrison running for Cherbourg, and Pickersgill steering the +yacht along shore to the westward. About an hour after this exchange had +been effected, the fog cleared up, and showed the revenue cutter hove to +for her boats, which had pulled back and were close on board of her; and +the _Happy-go-lucky_, about three miles in the offing. Lord B. and his +boat's crew were about four miles in shore, paddling and drifting with +the tide towards Portland. As soon as the boats were on board, the +revenue cutter made all sail after the smuggler, paying no attention to +the yacht, and either not seeing or not caring about the boat which was +drifting about in West Bay. + + + + +Chapter V + +THE TRAVESTIE + + +"Here we are, Corbett, and now I only wish my venture had been double," +observed Pickersgill; "but I shall not allow business to absorb me +wholly--we must add a little amusement. It appears to me, Corbett, that +the gentleman's clothes which lie there will fit you, and those of the +good-looking fellow who was spokesman will, I am sure, suit me well. +Now, let us dress ourselves, and then for breakfast." + +Pickersgill then exchanged his clothes for those of Mr Hautaine, and +Corbett fitted on those of Mr Ossulton. The steward was summoned up, and +he dared not disobey; he appeared on deck, trembling. + +"Steward--you will take these clothes below," said Pickersgill, "and, +observe, I now command this yacht; and, during the time that I am on +board, you will pay me the same respect as you did Lord B.: nay, more, +you will always address me as Lord B. You will prepare dinner and +breakfast, and do your duty just as if his lordship was on board, and +take care that you feed us well, for I will not allow the ladies to be +entertained in a less sumptuous manner than before.--You will tell the +cook what I say,--and now that you have heard me, take care that you +obey; if not, recollect that I have my own men here, and if I but point +with my finger, _overboard you go_.--Do you perfectly comprehend me?" + +"Yes,--sir," stammered the steward. + +"Yes, _sir_!--What did I tell you, sirrah?--Yes, my lord.--Do you +understand me?" + +"Yes--my lord." + +"Pray, steward, whose clothes has this gentleman put on?" + +"Mr--Mr Ossulton's, I think--sir--my lord, I mean." + +"Very well, steward; then recollect, in future you always address that +gentleman as _Mr Ossulton_." + +"Yes, my lord," and the steward went down below, and was obliged to take +a couple of glasses of brandy, to keep himself from fainting. + +"Who are they, and what are they! Mr Maddox?" cried the lady's-maid, who +had been weeping. + +"Pirates!--_bloody, murderous, stick-at-nothing_ pirates!" replied the +steward. + +"Oh!" screamed the lady's-maid, "what will become of us, poor +unprotected females?" And she hastened into the cabin, to impart this +dreadful intelligence. + +The ladies in the cabin were not in a very enviable situation. As for +the elder Miss Ossulton (but, perhaps, it will be better in future to +distinguish the two ladies, by calling the elder simply Miss Ossulton, +and her niece, Cecilia), she was sitting with her salts to her nose, +agonised with a mixture of trepidation and wounded pride. Mrs Lascelles +was weeping, but weeping gently. Cecilia was sad, and her heart was +beating with anxiety and suspense--when the maid rushed in. + +"O madam! O miss! O Mrs Lascelles! I have found it all out!--they are +murderous, bloody, do-everything pirates!!!" + +"Mercy on us!" exclaimed Miss Ossulton; "surely they will never dare--?" + +"Oh, ma'am, they dare anything!--they just now were throwing the steward +overboard--and they have rummaged all the portmanteaus, and dressed +themselves in the gentlemen's best clothes--the captain of them told the +steward that he was Lord B.--and that if he dared to call him anything +else, he would cut his throat from ear to ear--and if the cook don't +give them a good dinner, they swear that they'll chop his right hand +off, and make him eat it, without pepper or salt!" + +Miss Ossulton screamed, and went off into hysterics. Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia went to her assistance; but the latter had not forgotten the +very different behaviour of Jack Pickersgill, and his polite manners, +when he boarded the vessel. She did not, therefore, believe what the +maid had reported, but still her anxiety and suspense were great, +especially about her father. After having restored her aunt, she put on +her bonnet, which was lying on the sofa. + +"Where are you going, dear?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"On deck," replied Cecilia. "I must and will speak to these men." + +"Gracious heaven, Miss Ossulton going on deck! have you heard what +Phoebe says?" + +"Yes, aunt, I have; but I can wait here no longer." + +"Stop her! stop her!--she will be murdered!--she will be--she is mad!" +screamed Miss Ossulton; but no one attempted to stop Cecilia, and on +deck she went. On her arrival, she found Jack Pickersgill and Corbett +walking the deck; one of the smugglers at the helm, and the rest +forward, and as quiet as the crew of the yacht. As soon as she made her +appearance, Jack took off his hat, and made her a bow. + +"I do not know whom I have the honour of addressing, young lady! but I +am flattered with this mark of confidence. You feel, and I assure you, +you feel correctly, that you are not exactly in lawless hands." + +Cecilia looked with more surprise than fear at Pickersgill; Mr +Hautaine's dress became him, he was a handsome, fine-looking man, and +had nothing of the ruffian in his appearance; unless, like Byron's +Corsair, he was _half savage, half soft_. She could not help thinking +that she had met many with less pretensions, as far as appearance went, +to the claims of a gentleman, at Almack's, and other fashionable +circles. + +"I have ventured on deck, sir," said Cecilia, with a little +tremulousness in her voice, "to request, as a favour, that you will +inform me what your intentions may be, with regard to the vessel, and +with regard to the ladies!" + +"And I feel much obliged to you, for so doing, and I assure you, I will, +as far as I have made up my own mind, answer you candidly: but you +tremble--allow me to conduct you to a seat. In few words, then, to +remove your present alarm, I intend that the vessel shall be returned to +its owner, with every article in it, as religiously respected as if they +were church property. With respect to you, and the other ladies on +board, I pledge you my honour, that you have nothing to fear; that you +shall be treated with every respect; your privacy never invaded; and +that, in a few days, you will be restored to your friends. Young lady, I +pledge my hopes of future salvation to the truth of this; but, at the +same time, I must make a few conditions, which, however, will not be +very severe." + +"But, sir," replied Cecilia, much relieved, for Pickersgill had stood by +her in the most respectful manner, "you are, I presume, the captain of +the smuggler? Pray, answer me one question more--What became of the +boat, with Lord B.,--he is my father?" + +"I left him in his boat, without a hair of his head touched, young lady; +but I took away the oars." + +"Then he will perish!" cried Cecilia, putting her handkerchief to her +eyes. + +"No, young lady, he is on shore probably by this time; although I took +away his means of assisting to capture us, I left him the means of +gaining the land. It is not every one who would have done that, after +his conduct to us." + +"I begged him not to go," said Cecilia; "I told him that it was not +fair, and that he had no quarrel with the smugglers." + +"I thank you even for that," replied Pickersgill. "And now, Miss--I have +not the pleasure of recollecting his lordship's family name--" + +"Ossulton, sir," said Cecilia, looking at Pickersgill with surprise. + +"Then, with your permission, Miss Ossulton, I will now make you my +confidant: excuse my using so free a term, but it is because I wish to +relieve your fears; at the same time, I cannot permit you to divulge all +my intentions to the whole party on board; I feel that I may trust you, +for you have courage, and where there is courage, there generally is +truth; but you must first tell me whether you will condescend to accept +these terms?" + +Cecilia demurred a moment--the idea of being the confidant of a smuggler +rather startled her; but still, her knowledge of what his intentions +were, if she might not reveal them, might be important; as, perhaps, she +might dissuade him. She could be in no worse position than she was now, +and she might be in a much better. The conduct of Pickersgill had been +such, up to the present, as to inspire confidence; and, although he +defied the laws, he appeared to regard the courtesies of life. Cecilia +was a courageous girl, and at length she replied:-- + +"Provided what you desire me to keep secret will not be injurious to any +one, or compromise me, in my peculiar situation, I consent." + +"I would not hurt a fly, Miss Ossulton, but in self-defence, and I have +too much respect for you, from your conduct during our short meeting, to +compromise you. Allow me now to be very candid; and then, perhaps, you +will acknowledge that, in my situation, others would do the same; and, +perhaps, not show half so much forbearance. Your father, without any +right whatever, interferes with me, and my calling: he attempts to make +me a prisoner, to have me thrown in jail; heavily fined, and, perhaps, +sent out of the country. I will not enter into any defence of smuggling, +it is sufficient to say, that there are pains and penalties attached to +the infraction of certain laws, and that I choose to risk them--but Lord +B. was not empowered by Government to attack me; it was a gratuitous +act--and had I thrown him, and all his crew into the sea, I should have +been justified, for it was in short, an act of piracy on their part. +Now, as your father has thought to turn a yacht into a revenue cutter, +you cannot be surprised at my retaliating, in turning her into a +smuggler; and as he has mixed up looking after the revenue with +yachting, he cannot be surprised if I retaliate, by mixing up a little +yachting with smuggling. I have dressed your male companions as +smugglers, and have sent them in the smuggling vessel to Cherbourg, +where they will be safely landed; and I have dressed myself, and the +only person whom I could join with me in this frolic, as gentlemen, in +their places. My object is twofold: one is, to land my cargo, which I +have now on board, and which is very valuable; the other is, to +retaliate upon your father and his companions, for their attempt upon +me, by stepping into their shoes, and enjoying, for a day or two, their +luxuries. It is my intention to make free with nothing, but his +lordship's wine and eatables,--that you may be assured of; but I shall +have no pleasure, if the ladies do not sit down to the dinner-table with +us, as they did before with your father and his friends." + +"You can hardly expect that, sir," said Cecilia. + +"Yes, I do; and that will be not only the price of the early release of +the yacht and themselves, but it will also be the only means by which +they will obtain anything to eat. You observe, Miss Ossulton, the sins +of the fathers are visited on the children. I have now told you what I +mean to do, and what I wish. I leave you to think of it, and decide +whether it will not be the best for all parties to consent. You have my +permission to tell the other ladies, that whatever may be their conduct, +they are as secure from ill-treatment or rudeness, as if they were in +Grosvenor Square; but I cannot answer that they will not be hungry, if, +after such forbearance in every point, they show so little gratitude, as +not to honour me with their company." + +"Then I am to understand that we are to be starved into submission?" + +"No, not starved, Miss Ossulton; but recollect that you will be on bread +and water, and detained until you do consent, and your detention will +increase the anxiety of your father." + +"You know how to persuade, sir," said Cecilia. "As far as I am +concerned, I trust I shall ever be ready to sacrifice any feelings of +pride, to spare my father so much uneasiness. With your permission, I +will now go down into the cabin, and relieve my companions from the +worst of their fears. As for obtaining what you wish, I can only say, +that, as a young person, I am not likely to have much influence with +those older than myself, and must inevitably be overruled, as I have not +permission to point out to them reasons which might avail. Would you so +far allow me to be relieved from my promise, as to communicate all you +have said to me, to the only married woman on board? I think I then +might obtain your wishes, which, I must candidly tell you, I shall +attempt to effect, _only_ because I am most anxious to rejoin my +friends." + +"And be relieved of my company," replied Pickersgill, smiling, +ironically,--"of course you are; but I must and will have my petty +revenge: and although you may, and probably will detest me, at all +events you shall not have any very formidable charge to make against me +Before you go below, Miss Ossulton, I give you my permission to add the +married lady to the number of my confidants; and you must permit me to +introduce my friend, Mr Ossulton;" and Pickersgill waved his hand in the +direction of Corbett, who took off his hat, and made a low obeisance. + +It was impossible for Cecilia Ossulton to help smiling. + +"And," continued Pickersgill, "having taking the command of this yacht, +instead of his lordship, it is absolutely necessary that I also take his +lordship's name. While on board I am Lord B.; and allow me to introduce +myself under that name--I cannot be addressed otherwise. Depend upon it, +Miss Ossulton, that I shall have a most paternal solicitude to make you +happy and comfortable." + +Had Cecilia Ossulton dared to have given vent to her real feelings at +that time, she would have burst into a fit of laughter, it was too +ludicrous. At the same time, the very burlesque reassured her still +more. She went into the cabin with a heavy weight removed from her +heart. + +In the meantime, Miss Ossulton and Mrs Lascelles remained below, in the +greatest anxiety at Cecilia's prolonged stay; they knew not what to +think, and dared not go on deck. Mrs Lascelles had once determined at +all risks to go up; but Miss Ossulton and Phoebe had screamed, and +implored her so fervently not to leave them, that she unwillingly +consented to remain. Cecilia's countenance, when she entered the cabin, +reassured Mrs Lascelles, but not her aunt, who ran to her, crying and +sobbing, and clinging to her, saying, "What have they done to you, my +poor, poor Cecilia?" + +"Nothing at all, aunt," replied Cecilia, "the captain speaks very +fairly, and says he shall respect us in every possible way, provided +that we obey his orders, but if not--" + +"If not--what, Cecilia?" said Miss Ossulton, grasping her niece's arm. + +"He will starve us, and not let us go!" + +"God have mercy on us!"--cried Miss Ossulton, renewing her sobs. + +Cecilia then went to Mrs Lascelles, and communicated to her, apart, all +that had passed. Mrs Lascelles agreed with Cecilia, that they were in no +danger of insult; and as they talked over the matter, they at last began +to laugh; there was a novelty in it, and there was something so +ridiculous in all the gentlemen being turned into smugglers. Cecilia was +glad that she could not tell her aunt, as she wished her to be so +frightened, as never to have her company on board of the yacht again; +and Mrs Lascelles was too glad to annoy her for many and various insults +received. The matter was, therefore, canvassed over very satisfactorily, +and Mrs Lascelles felt a natural curiosity to see this new Lord B. and +the second Mr Ossulton. But they had had no breakfast and were feeling +very hungry, now that their alarm was over. They desired Phoebe to ask +the steward for some tea or coffee. The reply was, that, "Breakfast was +laid in the cabin, and Lord B. trusted that the ladies would come to +partake of it." + +"No, no," replied Mrs Lascelles, "I never can, without being introduced +to them first." + +"Nor will I go," replied Cecilia, "but I will write a note, and we will +have our breakfast here." Cecilia wrote a note in pencil as follows:-- + +"Miss Ossulton's compliments to Lord B., and, as the ladies feel rather +indisposed after the alarm of this morning, they trust that his lordship +will excuse their coming to breakfast; but hope to meet his lordship at +dinner, if not before that time, on deck." + +The answer was propitious, and the steward soon appeared with the +breakfast in the ladies' cabin. + +"Well Maddox," said Cecilia, "how do you get on with your new master?" + +The steward looked at the door to see if it was closed, shook his head, +and then said with a look of despair, "He has ordered a haunch of +venison for dinner, miss, and he has twice threatened to toss me +overboard." + +"You must obey him, Maddox, or he certainly will. These pirates are +dreadful fellows; be attentive, and serve him just as if he was my +father." + +"Yes, yes, ma'am, I will, but our time may come; it's _burglary_ on the +high seas, and I'll go fifty miles to see him hanged." + +"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, from the cabin. + +"O lord! he can't have heard me--d'ye-think he did, miss?" + +"The partitions are very thin, and you spoke very loud," said Mrs +Lascelles; "at all events, go to him quickly." + +"Good-bye, miss; good-bye, ma'am; if I shouldn't see you any more," said +Maddox, trembling with fear, as he obeyed the awful summons--which was +to demand a tooth-pick. + +Miss Ossulton would not touch the breakfast; not so Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia, who ate very heartily. + +"It's very dull to be shut up in this cabin," said Mrs Lascelles; "come, +Cecilia, let's go on deck." + +"And leave me," cried Miss Ossulton. + +"There is Phoebe here, aunt; we are going up to persuade the pirates to +put us all on shore." + +Mrs Lascelles and Cecilia put on their bonnets and went up. Lord B. took +off his hat, and begged the honour of being introduced to the pretty +widow. He handed the ladies to a seat, and then commenced conversing +upon various subjects, which, at the same time, possessed great novelty. +His lordship talked about France, and described its ports; told now and +then a good anecdote; pointed out the different headlands, bays, towns, +and villages, which they were passing rapidly, and always had some +little story connected with each. Before the ladies had been two hours +on deck, they found themselves, to their infinite surprise, not only +interested, but in conversation with the captain of the smuggler, and +more than once they laughed outright. But the _soi-disant_ Lord B. had +inspired them with confidence; they fully believed that what he had told +them was true, and that he had taken possession of the yacht to smuggle +his goods, to be revenged, and to have a laugh. Now none of these three +offences are capital in the eyes of the fair sex; and Jack was a +handsome, fine-looking fellow, of excellent manners, and very agreeable +conversation, at the same time, neither he nor his friend were in their +general deportment and behaviour otherwise than most respectful. + +"Ladies, as you are not afraid of me, which is a greater happiness than +I had reason to expect, I think you may be amused to witness the fear of +those who accuse your sex of cowardice. With your permission, I will +send for the cook and steward, and inquire about the dinner." + +"I should like to know what there is for dinner," observed Mrs Lascelles +demurely; "wouldn't you, Cecilia?" + +Cecilia put her handkerchief to her mouth. + +"Tell the steward and the cook both to come aft immediately," cried +Pickersgill. + +In a few seconds they both made their appearance. + +"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, with a loud voice. + +"Yes, my lord," replied Maddox, with his hat in his hand. + +"What wines have you put out for dinner?" + +"Champagne, my lord; and claret, my lord; and Madeira and sherry, my +lord." + +"No Burgundy, sir?" + +"No, my lord; there is no Burgundy on board." + +"No Burgundy, sir! do you dare to tell me that?" + +"Upon my soul, my lord," cried Maddox, dropping on his knees, "there is +no Burgundy on board--ask the ladies." + +"Very well, sir; you may go." + +"Cook, what have you got for dinner?" + +"Sir, a haunch of mutt--of venison, my lord," replied the cook, with his +white night-cap in his hand. + +"What else, sirrah?" + +"A boiled calf's head, my lord." + +"A boiled calf's head! Let it be roasted, or I'll roast you, sir!" cried +Pickersgill in an angry tone. + +"Yes, my lord; I'll roast it." + +"And what else, sir?" + +"Maintenon cutlets, my lord." + +"Maintenon cutlets! I hate them--I won't have them, sir. Let them be +dressed _a l'ombre Chinoise_." + +"I don't know what that is, my lord." + +"I don't care for that, sirrah; if you don't find out by dinner-time, +you're food for fishes--that's all; you may go." + +The cook walked off wringing his hands and his night-cap as well--for he +still held it in his right hand--and disappeared down the fore-hatchway. + +"I have done this to pay you a deserved compliment, ladies; you have +more courage than the other sex." + +"Recollect that we have had confidence given to us in consequence of +your pledging your word, my lord." + +"You do me, then, the honour of believing me?" + +"I did not until I saw you," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but now I am +convinced that you will perform your promise." + +"You do, indeed, encourage me, madam, to pursue what is right," said +Pickersgill, bowing; "for your approbation I should be most sorry to +lose, still more sorry to prove myself unworthy of it." + +As the reader will observe, everything was going on remarkably well. + + + + +Chapter VI + +THE SMUGGLING YACHT + + +Cecilia returned to the cabin, to ascertain whether her aunt was more +composed; but Mrs Lascelles remained on deck. She was much pleased with +Pickersgill; and they continued their conversation. Pickersgill entered +into a defence of his conduct to Lord B.; and Mrs Lascelles could not +but admit the provocation. After a long conversation, she hinted at his +profession, and how superior he appeared to be to such a lawless life. + +"You may be incredulous, madam," replied Pickersgill, "if I tell you +that I have as good a right to quarter my arms as Lord B. himself; and +that I am not under my real name. Smuggling is, at all events, no crime; +and I infinitely prefer the wild life I lead at the head of my men, to +being spurned by society because I am poor. The greatest crime in this +country is poverty. I may, if I am fortunate, some day resume my name. +You may, perhaps, meet me, and, if you please, you may expose me." + +"That I should not be likely to do," replied the widow; "but still I +regret to see a person, evidently intended for better things, employed +in so disreputable a profession." + +"I hardly know, madam, what is and what is not disreputable in this +conventional world. It is not considered disreputable to cringe to the +vices of a court, or to accept a pension wrung from the industry of the +nation, in return for base servility. It is not considered disreputable +to take tithes, intended for the service of God, and lavish them away at +watering-places or elsewhere, seeking pleasure instead of doing God +service. It is not considered disreputable to take fee after fee to +uphold injustice, to plead against innocence, to pervert truth, and to +aid the devil. It is not considered disreputable to gamble on the Stock +Exchange, or to corrupt the honesty of electors by bribes, to doing +which the penalty attached is equal to that decreed to the offence of +which I am guilty. All these, and much more, are not considered +disreputable; yet, by all these are the moral bonds of society loosened, +while in mine we cause no guilt in others--" + +"But still it is a crime." + +"A violation of the revenue laws, and no more. Observe, madam, the +English Government encourage the smuggling of our manufactures to the +Continent, at the same time that they take every step to prevent +articles being smuggled into this country. Now, madam, can that be a +_crime_, when the head of the vessel is turned north, which becomes _no +crime_ when she steers the opposite way?" + +"There is a stigma attached to it, you must allow." + +"That I grant you, madam; and as soon as I can quit the profession I +shall. No captive ever sighed more to be released from his chains; but I +will not leave it, till I find that I am in a situation not to be +spurned and neglected by those with whom I have a right to associate." + +At this moment, the steward was seen forward making signs to Mrs +Lascelles, who excused herself, and went to him. + +"For the love of God, madam," said Maddox, "as he appears to be friendly +with you, do pray find out how these cutlets are to be dressed; the cook +is tearing his hair, and we shall never have any dinner; and then it +will all fall upon me, and I--shall be tossed overboard." + +Mrs Lascelles desired poor Maddox to wait there while she obtained the +desired information. In a few minutes she returned to him. + +"I have found it out. They are first to be boiled in vinegar; then fried +in batter, and served up with a sauce of anchovy and Malaga raisins!" + +"First fried in vinegar; then boiled in batter, and served up with +almonds and raisins!" + +"No--no!" Mrs Lascelles repeated the injunction to the frightened +steward; and then returned aft, and re-entered into a conversation with +Pickersgill, in which for the first time, Corbett now joined. Corbett +had sense enough to feel, that the less he came forward until his +superior had established himself in the good graces of the ladies, the +more favourable would be the result. + +In the mean time Cecilia had gone down to her aunt, who still continued +to wail and lament. The young lady tried all she could to console her, +and to persuade her that if they were civil and obedient they had +nothing to fear. + +"Civil and obedient, indeed!" cried Miss Ossulton, "to a fellow who is a +smuggler and a pirate! I, the sister of Lord B.! Never! The presumption +of the wretch!" + +"That is all very well, aunt; but recollect, we must submit to +circumstances. These men insist upon our dining with them; and we must +go, or we shall have no dinner." + +"I sit down with a pirate! Never! I'll have no dinner--I'll starve--I'll +die!" + +"But, my dear aunt, it's the only chance we have of obtaining our +release; and if you do not do it Mrs Lascelles will think that you wish +to remain with them." + +"Mrs Lascelles judges of other people by herself." + +"The captain is certainly a very well-behaved, handsome man. He looks +like a nobleman in disguise. What an odd thing it would be, aunt, if +this should be all a hoax!" + +"A hoax, child?" replied Miss Ossulton, sitting up on the sofa. + +Cecilia found that she had hit the right nail, as the saying is; and she +brought forward so many arguments to prove that she thought it was a +hoax to frighten them, and that the gentleman above was a man of +consequence, that her aunt began to listen to reason, and at last +consented to join the dinner-party. Mrs Lascelles now came down below; +and when dinner was announced they repaired to the large cabin, where +they found Pickersgill and Corbett waiting for them. + +Miss Ossulton did not venture to look up, until she heard Pickersgill +say to Mrs Lascelles, "Perhaps, madam, you will do me the favour to +introduce me to that lady, whom I have not had the honour of seeing +before?" + +"Certainly, my lord," replied Mrs Lascelles. "Miss Ossulton, the aunt of +this young lady." + +Mrs Lascelles purposely did not introduce _his lordship_ in return, that +she might mystify the old spinster. + +"I feel highly honoured in finding myself in the company of Miss +Ossulton," said Pickersgill. "Ladies, we wait but for you to sit down. +Ossulton, take the head of the table and serve the soup." + +Miss Ossulton was astonished; she looked at the smugglers, and perceived +two well-dressed gentlemanly men, one of whom was apparently a lord, and +the other having the same family name. + +"It must be all a hoax," thought she; and she very quietly took to her +soup. + +The dinner passed off very pleasantly; Pickersgill was agreeable, +Corbett funny, and Miss Ossulton so far recovered herself as to drink +wine with his lordship, and to ask Corbett what branch of their family +he belonged to. + +"I presume it's the Irish branch," said Mrs Lascelles, prompting him. + +"Exactly, madam," replied Corbett. + +"Have you ever been to Torquay, ladies?" inquired Pickersgill. + +"No, my lord," answered Mrs Lascelles. + +"We shall anchor there in the course of an hour, and probably remain +there till to-morrow. Steward, bring coffee. Tell the cook these cutlets +were remarkably well dressed." + +The ladies retired to the cabin. Miss Ossulton was now convinced that it +was all a hoax; but said she, "I shall tell Lord B. my opinion of their +practical jokes when he returns. What is his lordship's name who is on +board?" + +"He won't tell us," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but I think I know; it is +Lord Blarney." + +"Lord Blaney you mean, I presume," said Miss Ossulton; "however, the +thing is carried too far. Cecilia, we will go on shore at Torquay, and +wait till the yacht returns with Lord B. I don't like these jokes; they +may do very well for widows, and people of no rank." + +Now, Mrs Lascelles was sorry to find Miss Ossulton so much at her ease. +She owed her no little spite, and wished for revenge. Ladies will go +very far to obtain this. How far Mrs Lascelles would have gone, I will +not pretend to say; but this is certain, that the last innuendo of Miss +Ossulton very much added to her determination. She took her bonnet and +went on deck, at once told Pickersgill that he could not please her or +Cecilia more than by frightening Miss Ossulton, who, under the idea that +it was all a hoax, had quite recovered her spirits; talked of her pride +and ill-nature, and wished her to receive a useful lesson. Thus, to +follow up her revenge, did Mrs Lascelles commit herself so far, as to be +confidential with the smuggler in return. + +"Mrs Lascelles, I shall be able to obey you, and, at the same time, to +combine business with pleasure." + +After a short conversation, the yacht dropped her anchor at Torquay. It +was then about two hours before sunset. As soon as the sails were +furled, one or two gentlemen, who resided there, came on board to pay +their respects to Lord B.; and, as Pickersgill had found out from +Cecilia that her father was acquainted with no one there, he received +them in person; asked them down in the cabin; called for wine; and +desired them to send their boat away, as his own was going on shore. The +smugglers took great care, that the steward, cook, and lady's maid, +should have no communication with the guests; one of them, by Corbett's +direction, being a sentinel over each individual. The gentlemen remained +about half-an-hour on board, during which Corbett and the smugglers had +filled the portmanteaus found in the cabin with the lace, and they were +put in the boat. Corbett then landed the gentlemen in the same boat, and +went up to the hotel, the smugglers following him with the portmanteaus, +without any suspicion or interruption. As soon as he was there, he +ordered post-horses, and set off for a town close by, where he had +correspondents; and thus the major part of the cargo was secured. +Corbett then returned in the night, bringing with him people to receive +the goods; and the smugglers landed the silks, teas, &c., with the same +good fortune. Everything was out of the yacht except a portion of the +lace, which the portmanteaus would not hold. Pickersgill might easily +have sent this on shore; but, to please Mrs Lascelles, he arranged +otherwise. + +The next morning, about an hour after breakfast was finished, Mrs +Lascelles entered the cabin pretending to be in the greatest +consternation, and fell on the sofa as if she were going to faint. + +"Good heavens! what is the matter?" exclaimed Cecilia, who knew very +well what was coming. + +"Oh, the wretch! he has made such proposals!" + +"Proposals! what proposals? what! Lord Blaney?" cried Miss Ossulton. + +"Oh, he's no lord! he's a villain and a smuggler! and he insists that we +shall both fill our pockets full of lace, and go on shore with him." + +"Mercy on me! Then it is no hoax after all; and I've been sitting down +to dinner with a smuggler!" + +"Sitting down, madam!--if it were to be no more than that--but we are to +take his arm up to the hotel. Oh, dear! Cecilia, I am ordered on deck, +pray come with me!" + +Miss Ossulton rolled on the sofa, and rang for Phoebe; she was in a +state of great alarm. + +A knock at the door. + +"Come in," said Miss Ossulton, thinking it was Phoebe; when Pickersgill +made his appearance. + +"What do you want, sir? Go out, sir! go out directly, or I'll scream!" + +"It is no use screaming, madam; recollect that all on board are at my +service. You will oblige me by listening to me, Miss Ossulton. I am, as +you know, a smuggler, and I must send this lace on shore. You will +oblige me by putting it into your pockets, or about your person, and +prepare to go on shore with me. As soon as we arrive at the hotel, you +will deliver it to me, and I then shall reconduct you on board of the +yacht. You are not the first lady who has gone on shore with contraband +articles about her person." + +"Me, sir! go on shore in that way? No, sir, never! What will the world +say? the Hon. Miss Ossulton walking with a smuggler! No, sir, never!" + +"Yes, madam, walking arm-in-arm with a smuggler: I shall have you on one +arm, and Mrs Lascelles on the other; and I would advise you to take it +very quietly; for, in the first place, it will be you who smuggle, as +the goods will be found on your person, and you will certainly be put in +prison, for, at the least appearance of insubordination, we run and +inform against you; and, further, your niece will remain on board as a +hostage for your good behaviour, and if you have any regard for her +liberty, you will consent immediately." + +Pickersgill left the cabin, and shortly afterwards Cecilia and Mrs +Lascelles entered, apparently much distressed. They had been informed of +all, and Mrs Lascelles declared, that, for her part, sooner than leave +her poor Cecilia to the mercy of such people, she had made up her mind +to submit to the smuggler's demands. Cecilia also begged so earnestly, +that Miss Ossulton, who had no idea that it was a trick, with much +sobbing and blubbering, consented. + +When all was ready, Cecilia left the cabin; Pickersgill came down, +handed up the two ladies, who had not exchanged a word with each other +during Cecilia's absence; the boat was ready alongside--they went in, +and pulled on shore. Everything succeeded to the smuggler's +satisfaction. Miss Ossulton, frightened out of her wits, took his arm; +and, with Mrs Lascelles on the other, they went up to the hotel, +followed by four of his boat's crew. As soon as they were shown into a +room, Corbett, who was already on shore, asked for Lord B., and joined +them. The ladies retired to another apartment, divested themselves of +their contraband goods, and, after calling for some sandwiches and wine, +Pickersgill waited an hour, and then returned on board. Mrs Lascelles +was triumphant; and she rewarded her new ally, the smuggler, with one of +her sweetest smiles. Community of interest will sometimes make strange +friendships. + + + + +Chapter VII + +CONCLUSION + + +We must now return to the other parties who have assisted in the acts of +this little drama. Lord B., after paddling and paddling, the men +relieving each other in order to make head against the wind which was +off shore, arrived about midnight at a small town in West Bay, from +whence he took a chaise on to Portsmouth, taking it for granted that his +yacht would arrive as soon as, if not before himself, little imagining +that it was in possession of the smugglers. There he remained three or +four days, when, becoming impatient, he applied to one of his friends +who had a yacht at Cowes, and sailed with him to look after his own. + +We left the _Happy-go-lucky_ chased by the revenue cutter. At first the +smuggler had the advantage before the wind; but, by degrees, the wind +went round with the sun, and brought the revenue cutter to leeward: it +was then a chase on a wind, and the revenue cutter came fast up with +her. + +Morrison, perceiving that he had no chance of escape, let run the ankers +of brandy that he might not be condemned; but still he was in an awkward +situation, as he had more men on board than allowed by Act of +Parliament. He therefore stood on, notwithstanding the shot of the +cutter went over and over him, hoping that a fog or night might enable +him to escape; but he had no such good fortune,--one of the shot carried +away the head of his mast, and the _Happy-go-lucky's_ luck was all over. +He was boarded and taken possession of; he asserted that the extra men +were only passengers; but, in the first place, they were dressed in +seamen's clothes; and, in the second, as soon as the boat was aboard of +her, Appleboy had gone down to his gin-toddy, and was not to be +disturbed. The gentlemen smugglers therefore passed an uncomfortable +night; and the cutter going to Portland by daylight before Appleboy was +out of bed, they were taken on shore to the magistrate. Hautaine +explained the whole affair, and they were immediately released and +treated with respect; but they were not permitted to depart until they +were bound over to appear against the smugglers, and prove the brandy +having been on board. They then set off for Portsmouth in the seamen's +clothes, having had quite enough of yachting for that season, Mr +Ossulton declaring that he only wanted to get his luggage, and then he +would take care how he put himself again in the way of the shot of a +revenue cruiser, or of sleeping a night on her decks. + +In the mean time Morrison and his men were locked up in the jail, the +old man, as the key was turned on him, exclaiming, as he raised his foot +in vexation, "That cursed blue pigeon!" + +We will now return to the yacht. + +About an hour after Pickersgill had come on board, Corbett had made all +his arrangements and followed him. It was not advisable to remain at +Torquay any longer, through fear of discovery; he, therefore, weighed +the anchor before dinner, and made sail. + +"What do you intend to do now, my lord?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"I intend to run down to Cowes, anchor the yacht in the night; and an +hour before daylight have you in my boat with all my men. I will take +care that you are in perfect safety, depend upon it, even if I run a +risk. I should, indeed, be miserable, if, through my wild freaks, any +accident should happen to Mrs Lascelles or Miss Ossulton." + +"I am very anxious about my father," observed Cecilia. "I trust that you +will keep your promise." + +"I always have hitherto, Miss Ossulton; have I not?" + +"Ours is but a short and strange acquaintance." + +"I grant it; but it will serve for you to talk about long after. I shall +disappear as suddenly as I have come--you will neither of you, in all +probability, ever see me again." + +The dinner was announced, and they sat down to table as before; but the +elderly spinster refused to make her appearance; and Mrs Lascelles and +Cecilia, who thought she had been frightened enough, did not attempt to +force her. Pickersgill immediately yielded to these remonstrances, and, +from that time she remained undisturbed in the ladies' cabin, meditating +over the indignity of having sat down to table, having drank wine, and +been obliged to walk on shore, taking the arm of a smuggler, and appear +in such a humiliating situation. + +The wind was light, and they made but little progress, and were not +abreast of Portland till the second day, when another yacht appeared in +sight, and the two vessels slowly neared until in the afternoon they +were within four miles of each other. It then fell a dead calm--signals +were thrown out by the other yacht, but could not be distinguished, and, +for the last time, they sat down to dinner. Three days' companionship on +board of a vessel, cooped up together, and having no one else to +converse with, will produce intimacy; and Pickersgill was a young man of +so much originality and information, that he was listened to with +pleasure. He never attempted to advance beyond the line of strict +decorum and politeness; and his companion was equally unpresuming. +Situated as they were, and feeling what must have been the case had they +fallen into other hands, both Cecilia and Mrs Lascelles felt some degree +of gratitude towards him; and, although anxious to be relieved from so +strange a position, they had gradually acquired a perfect confidence in +him, and this had produced a degree of familiarity, on their parts, +although never ventured upon by the smuggler. As Corbett was at the +table, one of the men came down and made a sign. Corbett shortly after +quitted the table and went on deck. "I wish, my lord, you would come up +a moment, and see if you can make this flag out," said Corbett, giving a +significant nod to Pickersgill. "Excuse me, ladies, one moment," said +Pickersgill, who went on deck. + +"It is the boat of the yacht coming on board," said Corbett; "and Lord +B. is in the stern-sheets with the gentleman who was with him." + +"And how many men in the boat?--let me see--only four. Well, let his +lordship and his friend come: when they are on the deck, have the men +ready in case of accident; but if you can manage to tell the boat's crew +that they are to go on board again, and get rid of them that way, so +much the better. Arrange this with Adams, and then come down again--his +lordship must see us all at dinner." + +Pickersgill then descended, and Corbett had hardly time to give his +directions and to resume his seat, before his lordship and Mr Stewart +pulled up alongside and jumped on deck. There was no one to receive them +but the seamen, and those whom they did not know. They looked round in +amazement; at last his lordship said to Adams, who stood forward, + +"What men are you?" + +"Belong to the yacht, ye'r honour." + +Lord B. heard laughing in the cabin; he would not wait to interrogate +the men; he walked aft, followed by Mr Stewart, looked down the +skylight, and perceived his daughter and Mrs Lascelles with, as he +supposed, Hautaine and Ossulton. + +Pickersgill had heard the boat rub the side, and the sound of the feet +on deck, and he talked the more loudly, that the ladies might be caught +by Lord B. as they were. He heard their feet at the skylight, and knew +that they could hear what passed; and at that moment he proposed to the +ladies that as this was their last meeting at table they should all take +a glass of champagne to drink to "their happy meeting with Lord B." This +was a toast which they did not refuse. Maddox poured out the wine, and +they were all bowing to each other, when his lordship, who had come down +the ladder, walked into the cabin, followed by Mr Stewart. Cecilia +perceived her father; the champagne-glass dropped from her hand--she +flew into his arms, and burst into tears. + +"Who would not be a father, Mrs Lascelles?" said Pickersgill, quietly +seating himself, after having first risen to receive Lord B. + +"And pray, whom may I have the honour of finding established here?" said +Lord B., in an angry tone, speaking over his daughter's head, who still +lay in his arms. "By heavens, yes?--Stewart, it is the smuggling captain +dressed out." + +"Even so, my lord," replied Pickersgill. "You abandoned your yacht to +capture me; you left these ladies in a vessel crippled for want of men; +they might have been lost. I have returned good for evil by coming on +board with my own people, and taking charge of them. This night, I +expected to have anchored your vessel in Cowes, and have left them in +safety." + +"By the--" cried Stewart. + +"Stop, sir, if you please!" cried Pickersgill; "recollect you have once +already attacked one who never offended. Oblige me by refraining from +intemperate language; for I tell you I will not put up with it. +Recollect, sir, that I have refrained from that, and also from taking +advantage of you when you were in my power. Recollect, sir, also, that +the yacht is still in possession of the smugglers, and that you are in +no condition to insult with impunity. My lord, allow me to observe, that +we men are too hot of temperament to argue, or listen coolly. With your +permission, your friend, and my friend, and I, will repair on deck, +leaving you to hear from your daughter and that lady all that has +passed. After that, my lord, I shall be most happy to hear anything +which your lordship may please to say." + +"Upon my word--" commenced Mr Stewart. + +"Mr Stewart," interrupted Cecilia Ossulton, "I request your silence; +nay, more, if ever we are again to sail in the same vessel together, I +_insist_ upon it." + +"Your lordship will oblige me by enforcing Miss Ossulton's request," +said Mrs Lascelles. + +Mr Stewart was dumbfounded, no wonder, to find the ladies siding with +the smuggler. + +"I am obliged to you ladies for your interference," said Pickersgill; +"for, although I have the means of enforcing conditions, I should be +sorry to avail myself of them. I wait for his lordship's reply." + +Lord B. was very much surprised. He wished for an explanation; he bowed +with _hauteur_. Everybody appeared to be in a false position; even he, +Lord B., somehow or another had bowed to a smuggler. + +Pickersgill and Stewart went on deck, walking up and down, crossing each +other without speaking, but reminding you of two dogs who both are +anxious to fight, but have been restrained by the voice of their +masters. Corbett followed, and talked in a low tone to Pickersgill; +Stewart went over to leeward to see if the boat was still alongside, but +it had long before returned to the yacht. Miss Ossulton had heard her +brother's voice, but did not come out of the after-cabin; she wished to +be magnificent and, at the same time, she was not sure whether all was +right, Phoebe having informed her that there was nobody with her brother +and Mr Stewart, and that the smugglers still had the command of the +vessel. After a while, Pickersgill and Corbett went down forward, and +returned dressed in the smuggler's clothes, when they resumed their walk +on the deck. + +In the mean time, it was dark; the cutter flew along the coast; and the +Needles' lights were on the larboard bow. The conversation between +Cecilia, Mrs Lascelles, and her father, was long. When all had been +detailed, and the conduct of Pickersgill duly represented, Lord B. +acknowledged that, by attacking the smuggler, he had laid himself open +to retaliation; that Pickersgill had shown a great deal of forbearance +in every instance; and, after all, had he not gone on board the yacht +she might have been lost, with only three seamen on board. He was amused +with the smuggling and the fright of his sister; still more with the +gentlemen being sent to Cherbourg, and much consoled that he was not the +only one to be laughed at. He was also much pleased with Pickersgill's +intention of leaving the yacht safe in Cowes harbour, his respect to the +property on board, and his conduct to the ladies. On the whole, he felt +grateful to Pickersgill; and where there is gratitude there is always +good will. + +"But who can he be?" said Mrs Lascelles; "his name he acknowledges not +to be Pickersgill; and he told me confidentially that he was of good +family." + +"Confidentially, my dear Mrs Lascelles!" said Lord B. + +"Oh, yes! we are both his confidants. Are we not, Cecilia?" + +"Upon my honour, Mrs Lascelles, this smuggler appears to have made an +impression which many have attempted in vain." + +Mrs Lascelles did not reply to that remark, but said, "Now, my lord, you +must decide--and I trust you will to oblige us--treat him as he has +treated us, with the greatest respect and kindness." + +"Why should you suppose otherwise?" replied Lord B.; "it is not only my +wish but my interest so to do. He may take us over to France to-night, +or anywhere else. Has he not possession of the vessel?" + +"Yes," replied Cecilia; "but we flatter ourselves that we have _the +command_. Shall we call him down, papa?" + +"Ring for Maddox. Maddox, tell Mr Pickersgill, who is on deck, that I +wish to speak with him, and shall be obliged by his stepping down into +the cabin." + +"Who, my lord? What? _Him_?" + +"Yes, _him_," replied Cecilia, laughing. + +"Must I call him, my lord, now, miss?" + +"You may do as you please, Maddox; but recollect, he is still in +possession of the vessel," replied Cecilia. + +"Then, with your lordship's permission, I will; it's the safest way." + +The smuggler entered the cabin; the ladies started as he appeared in his +rough costume, with his throat open, and his loose black handkerchief. +He was the _beau ideal_ of a handsome sailor. + +"Your lordship wishes to communicate with me?" + +"Mr Pickersgill, I feel that you have had cause of enmity against me, +and that you have behaved with forbearance. I thank you for your +considerate treatment of the ladies; and I assure you, that I feel no +resentment for what has passed." + +"My lord, I am quite satisfied with what you have said; and I only hope +that, in future, you will not interfere with a poor smuggler, who may be +striving, by a life of danger and privation, to procure subsistence for +himself and, perhaps, his family. I stated to these ladies my intention +of anchoring the yacht this night at Cowes, and leaving her as soon as +she was in safety. Your unexpected presence will only make this +difference, which is, that I must previously obtain your lordship's +assurance that those with you will allow me and my men to quit her +without molestation, after we have performed this service." + +"I pledge you my word, Mr Pickersgill, and I thank you into the bargain. +I trust you will allow me to offer some remuneration." + +"Most certainly not, my lord." + +"At all events, Mr Pickersgill, if, at any other time, I can be of +service, you may command me." + +Pickersgill made no reply. + +"Surely, Mr Pickersgill,--" + +"Pickersgill! how I hate that name!" said the smuggler, musing. "I beg +your lordship's pardon--if I may require your assistance for any of my +unfortunate companions--" + +"Not for yourself, Mr Pickersgill?" said Mrs Lascelles. + +"Madam, I smuggle no more." + +"For the pleasure I feel in hearing that resolution, Mr Pickersgill," +said Cecilia, "take my hand and thanks." + +"And mine," said Mrs Lascelles, half crying. + +"And mine, too," said Lord B., rising up. + +Pickersgill passed the back of his hand across his eyes, turned round, +and left the cabin. + +"I'm so happy!" said Mrs Lascelles, bursting into tears. + +"He's a magnificent fellow," observed Lord B. "Come, let us all go on +deck." + +"You have not seen my aunt, papa." + +"True; I'll go in to her, and then follow you." + +The ladies went upon deck. Cecilia entered into conversation with Mr +Stewart, giving him a narrative of what had happened. Mrs Lascelles sat +abaft at the taffrail, with her pretty hand supporting her cheek, +looking very much _a la Juliette_. + +"Mrs Lascelles," said Pickersgill, "before we part, allow me to observe, +that it is _you_ who have induced me to give up my profession--" + +"Why me, Mr Pickersgill?" + +"You said that you did not like it." + +Mrs Lascelles felt the force of the compliment. "You said, just now, +that you hated the name of Pickersgill: why do you call yourself so?" + +"It was my smuggling name, Mrs Lascelles." + +"And now, that you have left off smuggling, pray what may be the name we +are to call you by?" + +"I cannot resume it till I have not only left this vessel, but shaken +hands with, and bid farewell to, my companions; and by that time, Mrs +Lascelles, I shall be away from you." + +"But I've a great curiosity to know it, and a lady's curiosity must be +gratified. You must call upon me some day, and tell it me. Here is my +address." + +Pickersgill received the card with a low bow: and Lord B. coming on +deck, Mrs Lascelles hastened to meet him. + +The vessel was now passing the Bridge at the Needles, and the smuggler +piloted her on. As soon as they were clear and well inside, the whole +party went down into the cabin, Lord B. requesting Pickersgill and +Corbett to join him in a parting glass. Mr Stewart, who had received the +account of what had passed from Cecilia, was very attentive to +Pickersgill, and took an opportunity of saying, that he was sorry that +he had said or done anything to annoy him. Every one recovered his +spirits; and all was good humour and mirth, because Miss Ossulton +adhered to her resolution of not quitting the cabin till she could quit +the yacht. At ten o'clock the yacht was anchored. Pickersgill took his +leave of the honourable company, and went in his boat with his men; and +Lord B. was again in possession of his vessel, although he had not a +ship's company. Maddox recovered his usual tone; and the cook flourished +his knife, swearing that he should like to see the smuggler who would +again order him to dress cutlets _a l'ombre Chinoise_. + +The yacht had remained three days at Cowes, when Lord B. received a +letter from Pickersgill, stating that the men of his vessel had been +captured, and would be condemned, in consequence of their having the +gentlemen on board, who were bound to appear against them, to prove that +they had sunk the brandy. Lord B. paid all the recognisances, and the +men were liberated for want of evidence. + +It was about two years after this that Cecilia Ossulton, who was sitting +at her work-table in deep mourning for her aunt, was presented with a +letter by the butler. It was from her friend Mrs Lascelles, informing +her that she was married again to a Mr Davenant, and intended to pay her +a short visit on her way to the Continent. Mr and Mrs Davenant arrived +the next day; and when the latter introduced her husband, she said to +Miss Ossulton, "Look, Cecilia, dear, and tell me if you have ever seen +Davenant before." + +Cecilia looked earnestly: "I have, indeed," cried she at last, extending +her hand with warmth; "and happy am I to meet with him again." + +For in Mr Davenant she recognised her old acquaintance, the captain of +the _Happy-go-lucky_, Jack Pickersgill, the smuggler. + + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Peter Simple and The Three Cutters, +Vol. 1-2, by Frederick Marryat + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PETER SIMPLE *** + +***** This file should be named 13148.txt or 13148.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/1/4/13148/ + +Produced by Ted Garvin, Carol David and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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