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diff --git a/old/1307.txt b/old/1307.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..237e4a2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1307.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10477 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Magic Skin, by Honore de Balzac + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Magic Skin + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Ellen Marriage + +Release Date: May, 1998 [Etext #1307] +Posting Date: February 22, 2010 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAGIC SKIN *** + + + + +Produced by Dagny, and Bonnie Sala + + + + + +THE MAGIC SKIN + + +By Honore De Balzac + + +Translated by Ellen Marriage + + + + To Monsieur Savary, Member of Le Academie des Sciences. + + + + [omitted: a drawing representing the serpentine + path made by the tip of a stick when flourished.] + + STERNE--Tristram Shandy, ch. cccxxii. + + + + + +THE MAGIC SKIN + + + + +I. THE TALISMAN + + +Towards the end of the month of October 1829 a young man entered the +Palais-Royal just as the gaming-houses opened, agreeably to the law +which protects a passion by its very nature easily excisable. He mounted +the staircase of one of the gambling hells distinguished by the number +36, without too much deliberation. + +"Your hat, sir, if you please?" a thin, querulous voice called out. A +little old man, crouching in the darkness behind a railing, suddenly +rose and exhibited his features, carved after a mean design. + +As you enter a gaming-house the law despoils you of your hat at the +outset. Is it by way of a parable, a divine revelation? Or by exacting +some pledge or other, is not an infernal compact implied? Is it done to +compel you to preserve a respectful demeanor towards those who are about +to gain money of you? Or must the detective, who squats in our social +sewers, know the name of your hatter, or your own, if you happen to have +written it on the lining inside? Or, after all, is the measurement of +your skull required for the compilation of statistics as to the cerebral +capacity of gamblers? The executive is absolutely silent on this point. +But be sure of this, that though you have scarcely taken a step towards +the tables, your hat no more belongs to you now than you belong to +yourself. Play possesses you, your fortune, your cap, your cane, your +cloak. + +As you go out, it will be made clear to you, by a savage irony, that +Play has yet spared you something, since your property is returned. For +all that, if you bring a new hat with you, you will have to pay for the +knowledge that a special costume is needed for a gambler. + +The evident astonishment with which the young man took a numbered tally +in exchange for his hat, which was fortunately somewhat rubbed at the +brim, showed clearly enough that his mind was yet untainted; and the +little old man, who had wallowed from his youth up in the furious +pleasures of a gambler's life, cast a dull, indifferent glance over +him, in which a philosopher might have seen wretchedness lying in the +hospital, the vagrant lives of ruined folk, inquests on numberless +suicides, life-long penal servitude and transportations to Guazacoalco. + +His pallid, lengthy visage appeared like a haggard embodiment of the +passion reduced to its simplest terms. There were traces of past anguish +in its wrinkles. He supported life on the glutinous soups at Darcet's, +and gambled away his meagre earnings day by day. Like some old hackney +which takes no heed of the strokes of the whip, nothing could move him +now. The stifled groans of ruined players, as they passed out, their +mute imprecations, their stupefied faces, found him impassive. He was +the spirit of Play incarnate. If the young man had noticed this sorry +Cerberus, perhaps he would have said, "There is only a pack of cards in +that heart of his." + +The stranger did not heed this warning writ in flesh and blood, put +here, no doubt, by Providence, who has set loathing on the threshold of +all evil haunts. He walked boldly into the saloon, where the rattle of +coin brought his senses under the dazzling spell of an agony of greed. +Most likely he had been drawn thither by that most convincing of Jean +Jacques' eloquent periods, which expresses, I think, this melancholy +thought, "Yes, I can imagine that a man may take to gambling when he +sees only his last shilling between him and death." + +There is an illusion about a gambling saloon at night as vulgar as that +of a bloodthirsty drama, and just as effective. The rooms are filled +with players and onlookers, with poverty-stricken age, which drags +itself thither in search of stimulation, with excited faces, and revels +that began in wine, to end shortly in the Seine. The passion is there +in full measure, but the great number of the actors prevents you from +seeing the gambling-demon face to face. The evening is a harmony or +chorus in which all take part, to which each instrument in the orchestra +contributes his share. You would see there plenty of respectable people +who have come in search of diversion, for which they pay as they pay for +the pleasures of the theatre, or of gluttony, or they come hither as +to some garret where they cheapen poignant regrets for three months to +come. + +Do you understand all the force and frenzy in a soul which impatiently +waits for the opening of a gambling hell? Between the daylight gambler +and the player at night there is the same difference that lies between +a careless husband and the lover swooning under his lady's window. Only +with morning comes the real throb of the passion and the craving in +its stark horror. Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither +eaten, slept, thought, nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge +of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup of +_trente-et-quarante_. At that accursed hour you encounter eyes whose +calmness terrifies you, faces that fascinate, glances that seem as if +they had power to turn the cards over and consume them. The grandest +hours of a gambling saloon are not the opening ones. If Spain has +bull-fights, and Rome once had her gladiators, Paris waxes proud of her +Palais-Royal, where the inevitable _roulettes_ cause blood to flow in +streams, and the public can have the pleasure of watching without fear +of their feet slipping in it. + +Take a quiet peep at the arena. How bare it looks! The paper on the +walls is greasy to the height of your head, there is nothing to bring +one reviving thought. There is not so much as a nail for the convenience +of suicides. The floor is worn and dirty. An oblong table stands in the +middle of the room, the tablecloth is worn by the friction of gold, +but the straw-bottomed chairs about it indicate an odd indifference to +luxury in the men who will lose their lives here in the quest of the +fortune that is to put luxury within their reach. + +This contradiction in humanity is seen wherever the soul reacts +powerfully upon itself. The gallant would clothe his mistress in silks, +would deck her out in soft Eastern fabrics, though he and she must lie +on a truckle-bed. The ambitious dreamer sees himself at the summit of +power, while he slavishly prostrates himself in the mire. The tradesman +stagnates in his damp, unhealthy shop, while he builds a great mansion +for his son to inherit prematurely, only to be ejected from it by law +proceedings at his own brother's instance. + +After all, is there a less pleasing thing in the world than a house of +pleasure? Singular question! Man is always at strife with himself. His +present woes give the lie to his hopes; yet he looks to a future which +is not his, to indemnify him for these present sufferings; setting upon +all his actions the seal of inconsequence and of the weakness of his +nature. We have nothing here below in full measure but misfortune. + +There were several gamblers in the room already when the young man +entered. Three bald-headed seniors were lounging round the green table. +Imperturbable as diplomatists, those plaster-cast faces of theirs +betokened blunted sensibilities, and hearts which had long forgotten +how to throb, even when a woman's dowry was the stake. A young Italian, +olive-hued and dark-haired, sat at one end, with his elbows on the +table, seeming to listen to the presentiments of luck that dictate a +gambler's "Yes" or "No." The glow of fire and gold was on that southern +face. Some seven or eight onlookers stood by way of an audience, +awaiting a drama composed of the strokes of chance, the faces of the +actors, the circulation of coin, and the motion of the croupier's rake, +much as a silent, motionless crowd watches the headsman in the Place de +Greve. A tall, thin man, in a threadbare coat, held a card in one hand, +and a pin in the other, to mark the numbers of Red or Black. He seemed +a modern Tantalus, with all the pleasures of his epoch at his lips, a +hoardless miser drawing in imaginary gains, a sane species of lunatic +who consoles himself in his misery by chimerical dreams, a man who +touches peril and vice as a young priest handles the unconsecrated wafer +in the white mass. + +One or two experts at the game, shrewd speculators, had placed +themselves opposite the bank, like old convicts who have lost all fear +of the hulks; they meant to try two or three coups, and then to depart +at once with the expected gains, on which they lived. Two elderly +waiters dawdled about with their arms folded, looking from time to time +into the garden from the windows, as if to show their insignificant +faces as a sign to passers-by. + +The croupier and banker threw a ghastly and withering glance at the +punters, and cried, in a sharp voice, "Make your game!" as the young man +came in. The silence seemed to grow deeper as all heads turned curiously +towards the new arrival. Who would have thought it? The jaded elders, +the fossilized waiters, the onlookers, the fanatical Italian himself, +felt an indefinable dread at sight of the stranger. Is he not wretched +indeed who can excite pity here? Must he not be very helpless to receive +sympathy, ghastly in appearance to raise a shudder in these places, +where pain utters no cry, where wretchedness looks gay, and despair is +decorous? Such thoughts as these produced a new emotion in these torpid +hearts as the young man entered. Were not executioners known to shed +tears over the fair-haired, girlish heads that had to fall at the +bidding of the Revolution? + +The gamblers saw at a glance a dreadful mystery in the novice's face. +His young features were stamped with a melancholy grace, his looks told +of unsuccess and many blighted hopes. The dull apathy of the suicide +had made his forehead so deadly pale, a bitter smile carved faint lines +about the corners of his mouth, and there was an abandonment about him +that was painful to see. Some sort of demon sparkled in the depths of +his eye, which drooped, wearied perhaps with pleasure. Could it have +been dissipation that had set its foul mark on the proud face, once pure +and bright, and now brought low? Any doctor seeing the yellow circles +about his eyelids, and the color in his cheeks, would have set them +down to some affection of the heart or lungs, while poets would have +attributed them to the havoc brought by the search for knowledge and to +night-vigils by the student's lamp. + +But a complaint more fatal than any disease, a disease more merciless +than genius or study, had drawn this young face, and had wrung a heart +which dissipation, study, and sickness had scarcely disturbed. When +a notorious criminal is taken to the convict's prison, the prisoners +welcome him respectfully, and these evil spirits in human shape, +experienced in torments, bowed before an unheard-of anguish. By the +depth of the wound which met their eyes, they recognized a prince among +them, by the majesty of his unspoken irony, by the refined wretchedness +of his garb. The frock-coat that he wore was well cut, but his cravat +was on terms so intimate with his waistcoat that no one could suspect +him of underlinen. His hands, shapely as a woman's were not perfectly +clean; for two days past indeed he had ceased to wear gloves. If the +very croupier and the waiters shuddered, it was because some traces +of the spell of innocence yet hung about his meagre, delicately-shaped +form, and his scanty fair hair in its natural curls. + +He looked only about twenty-five years of age, and any trace of vice +in his face seemed to be there by accident. A young constitution still +resisted the inroads of lubricity. Darkness and light, annihilation and +existence, seemed to struggle in him, with effects of mingled beauty +and terror. There he stood like some erring angel that has lost his +radiance; and these emeritus-professors of vice and shame were ready to +bid the novice depart, even as some toothless crone might be seized with +pity for a beautiful girl who offers herself up to infamy. + +The young man went straight up to the table, and, as he stood +there, flung down a piece of gold which he held in his hand, without +deliberation. It rolled on to the Black; then, as strong natures can, +he looked calmly, if anxiously, at the croupier, as if he held useless +subterfuges in scorn. + +The interest this coup awakened was so great that the old gamesters laid +nothing upon it; only the Italian, inspired by a gambler's enthusiasm, +smiled suddenly at some thought, and punted his heap of coin against the +stranger's stake. + +The banker forgot to pronounce the phrases that use and wont have +reduced to an inarticulate cry--"Make your game.... The game is made.... +Bets are closed." The croupier spread out the cards, and seemed to wish +luck to the newcomer, indifferent as he was to the losses or gains of +those who took part in these sombre pleasures. Every bystander thought +he saw a drama, the closing scene of a noble life, in the fortunes of +that bit of gold; and eagerly fixed his eyes on the prophetic cards; but +however closely they watched the young man, they could discover not the +least sign of feeling on his cool but restless face. + +"Even! red wins," said the croupier officially. A dumb sort of rattle +came from the Italian's throat when he saw the folded notes that +the banker showered upon him, one after another. The young man only +understood his calamity when the croupiers's rake was extended to sweep +away his last napoleon. The ivory touched the coin with a little click, +as it swept it with the speed of an arrow into the heap of gold before +the bank. The stranger turned pale at the lips, and softly shut his +eyes, but he unclosed them again at once, and the red color returned +as he affected the airs of an Englishman, to whom life can offer no +new sensation, and disappeared without the glance full of entreaty for +compassion that a desperate gamester will often give the bystanders. How +much can happen in a second's space; how many things depend on a throw +of the die! + +"That was his last cartridge, of course," said the croupier, smiling +after a moment's silence, during which he picked up the coin between his +finger and thumb and held it up. + +"He is a cracked brain that will go and drown himself," said a +frequenter of the place. He looked round about at the other players, who +all knew each other. + +"Bah!" said a waiter, as he took a pinch of snuff. + +"If we had but followed _his_ example," said an old gamester to the +others, as he pointed out the Italian. + +Everybody looked at the lucky player, whose hands shook as he counted +his bank-notes. + +"A voice seemed to whisper to me," he said. "The luck is sure to go +against that young man's despair." + +"He is a new hand," said the banker, "or he would have divided his money +into three parts to give himself more chance." + +The young man went out without asking for his hat; but the old +watch-dog, who had noted its shabby condition, returned it to him +without a word. The gambler mechanically gave up the tally, and went +downstairs whistling _Di tanti Palpiti_ so feebly, that he himself +scarcely heard the delicious notes. + +He found himself immediately under the arcades of the Palais-Royal, +reached the Rue Saint Honore, took the direction of the Tuileries, and +crossed the gardens with an undecided step. He walked as if he were in +some desert, elbowed by men whom he did not see, hearing through all the +voices of the crowd one voice alone--the voice of Death. He was lost in +the thoughts that benumbed him at last, like the criminals who used +to be taken in carts from the Palais de Justice to the Place de Greve, +where the scaffold awaited them reddened with all the blood spilt here +since 1793. + +There is something great and terrible about suicide. Most people's +downfalls are not dangerous; they are like children who have not far to +fall, and cannot injure themselves; but when a great nature is dashed +down, he is bound to fall from a height. He must have been raised almost +to the skies; he has caught glimpses of some heaven beyond his reach. +Vehement must the storms be which compel a soul to seek for peace from +the trigger of a pistol. + +How much young power starves and pines away in a garret for want of a +friend, for lack of a woman's consolation, in the midst of millions of +fellow-creatures, in the presence of a listless crowd that is burdened +by its wealth! When one remembers all this, suicide looms large. Between +a self-sought death and the abundant hopes whose voices call a young man +to Paris, God only knows what may intervene; what contending ideas have +striven within the soul; what poems have been set aside; what moans and +what despair have been repressed; what abortive masterpieces and vain +endeavors! Every suicide is an awful poem of sorrow. Where will you find +a work of genius floating above the seas of literature that can compare +with this paragraph: + + "Yesterday, at four o'clock, a young woman threw herself into the + Seine from the Pont des Arts." + +Dramas and romances pale before this concise Parisian phrase; so must +even that old frontispiece, _The Lamentations of the glorious king of +Kaernavan, put in prison by his children_, the sole remaining fragment +of a lost work that drew tears from Sterne at the bare perusal--the same +Sterne who deserted his own wife and family. + +The stranger was beset with such thoughts as these, which passed in +fragments through his mind, like tattered flags fluttering above the +combat. If he set aside for a moment the burdens of consciousness and of +memory, to watch the flower heads gently swayed by the breeze among the +green thickets, a revulsion came over him, life struggled against +the oppressive thought of suicide, and his eyes rose to the sky: gray +clouds, melancholy gusts of the wind, the stormy atmosphere, all decreed +that he should die. + +He bent his way toward the Pont Royal, musing over the last fancies of +others who had gone before him. He smiled to himself as he remembered +that Lord Castlereagh had satisfied the humblest of our needs before +he cut his throat, and that the academician Auger had sought for his +snuff-box as he went to his death. He analyzed these extravagances, +and even examined himself; for as he stood aside against the parapet +to allow a porter to pass, his coat had been whitened somewhat by the +contact, and he carefully brushed the dust from his sleeve, to his own +surprise. He reached the middle of the arch, and looked forebodingly at +the water. + +"Wretched weather for drowning yourself," said a ragged old woman, who +grinned at him; "isn't the Seine cold and dirty?" + +His answer was a ready smile, which showed the frenzied nature of his +courage; then he shivered all at once as he saw at a distance, by the +door of the Tuileries, a shed with an inscription above it in letters +twelve inches high: THE ROYAL HUMANE SOCIETY'S APPARATUS. + +A vision of M. Dacheux rose before him, equipped by his philanthropy, +calling out and setting in motion the too efficacious oars which break +the heads of drowning men, if unluckily they should rise to the surface; +he saw a curious crowd collecting, running for a doctor, preparing +fumigations, he read the maundering paragraph in the papers, put between +notes on a festivity and on the smiles of a ballet-dancer; he heard +the francs counted down by the prefect of police to the watermen. As a +corpse, he was worth fifteen francs; but now while he lived he was only +a man of talent without patrons, without friends, without a mattress +to lie on, or any one to speak a word for him--a perfect social cipher, +useless to a State which gave itself no trouble about him. + +A death in broad daylight seemed degrading to him; he made up his mind +to die at night so as to bequeath an unrecognizable corpse to a world +which had disregarded the greatness of life. He began his wanderings +again, turning towards the Quai Voltaire, imitating the lagging gait of +an idler seeking to kill time. As he came down the steps at the end of +the bridge, his notice was attracted by the second-hand books displayed +on the parapet, and he was on the point of bargaining for some. He +smiled, thrust his hands philosophically into his pockets, and fell to +strolling on again with a proud disdain in his manner, when he heard to +his surprise some coin rattling fantastically in his pocket. + +A smile of hope lit his face, and slid from his lips over his features, +over his brow, and brought a joyful light to his eyes and his dark +cheeks. It was a spark of happiness like one of the red dots that flit +over the remains of a burnt scrap of paper; but as it is with the black +ashes, so it was with his face, it became dull again when the stranger +quickly drew out his hand and perceived three pennies. "Ah, kind +gentleman! _carita_, _carita_; for the love of St. Catherine! only a +halfpenny to buy some bread!" + +A little chimney sweeper, with puffed cheeks, all black with soot, and +clad in tatters, held out his hand to beg for the man's last pence. + +Two paces from the little Savoyard stood an old _pauvre honteux_, sickly +and feeble, in wretched garments of ragged druggeting, who asked in a +thick, muffled voice: + +"Anything you like to give, monsieur; I will pray to God for you..." + +But the young man turned his eyes on him, and the old beggar stopped +without another word, discerning in that mournful face an abandonment of +wretchedness more bitter than his own. + +"_La carita_! _la carita_!" + +The stranger threw the coins to the old man and the child, left the +footway, and turned towards the houses; the harrowing sight of the Seine +fretted him beyond endurance. + +"May God lengthen your days!" cried the two beggars. + +As he reached the shop window of a print-seller, this man on the brink +of death met a young woman alighting from a showy carriage. He looked in +delight at her prettiness, at the pale face appropriately framed by the +satin of her fashionable bonnet. Her slender form and graceful movements +entranced him. Her skirt had been slightly raised as she stepped to the +pavement, disclosing a daintily fitting white stocking over the delicate +outlines beneath. The young lady went into the shop, purchased albums +and sets of lithographs; giving several gold coins for them, which +glittered and rang upon the counter. The young man, seemingly occupied +with the prints in the window, fixed upon the fair stranger a gaze as +eager as man can give, to receive in exchange an indifferent glance, +such as lights by accident on a passer-by. For him it was a leave-taking +of love and of woman; but his final and strenuous questioning glance was +neither understood nor felt by the slight-natured woman there; her color +did not rise, her eyes did not droop. What was it to her? one more piece +of adulation, yet another sigh only prompted the delightful thought at +night, "I looked rather well to-day." + +The young man quickly turned to another picture, and only left it when +she returned to her carriage. The horses started off, the final vision +of luxury and refinement went under an eclipse, just as that life of his +would soon do also. Slowly and sadly he followed the line of the shops, +listlessly examining the specimens on view. When the shops came to an +end, he reviewed the Louvre, the Institute, the towers of Notre Dame, of +the Palais, the Pont des Arts; all these public monuments seemed to have +taken their tone from the heavy gray sky. + +Fitful gleams of light gave a foreboding look to Paris; like a pretty +woman, the city has mysterious fits of ugliness or beauty. So the outer +world seemed to be in a plot to steep this man about to die in a painful +trance. A prey to the maleficent power which acts relaxingly upon us +by the fluid circulating through our nerves, his whole frame seemed +gradually to experience a dissolving process. He felt the anguish of +these throes passing through him in waves, and the houses and the crowd +seemed to surge to and fro in a mist before his eyes. He tried to escape +the agitation wrought in his mind by the revulsions of his physical +nature, and went toward the shop of a dealer in antiquities, thinking to +give a treat to his senses, and to spend the interval till nightfall in +bargaining over curiosities. + +He sought, one might say, to regain courage and to find a stimulant, +like a criminal who doubts his power to reach the scaffold. The +consciousness of approaching death gave him, for the time being, the +intrepidity of a duchess with a couple of lovers, so that he entered the +place with an abstracted look, while his lips displayed a set smile like +a drunkard's. Had not life, or rather had not death, intoxicated him? +Dizziness soon overcame him again. Things appeared to him in strange +colors, or as making slight movements; his irregular pulse was no +doubt the cause; the blood that sometimes rushed like a burning torrent +through his veins, and sometimes lay torpid and stagnant as tepid water. +He merely asked leave to see if the shop contained any curiosities which +he required. + +A plump-faced young shopman with red hair, in an otter-skin cap, left +an old peasant woman in charge of the shop--a sort of feminine Caliban, +employed in cleaning a stove made marvelous by Bernard Palissy's work. +This youth remarked carelessly: + +"Look round, _monsieur_! We have nothing very remarkable here +downstairs; but if I may trouble you to go up to the first floor, I will +show you some very fine mummies from Cairo, some inlaid pottery, and +some carved ebony--_genuine Renaissance_ work, just come in, and of +perfect beauty." + +In the stranger's fearful position this cicerone's prattle and shopman's +empty talk seemed like the petty vexations by which narrow minds destroy +a man of genius. But as he must even go through with it, he appeared +to listen to his guide, answering him by gestures or monosyllables; but +imperceptibly he arrogated the privilege of saying nothing, and gave +himself up without hindrance to his closing meditations, which were +appalling. He had a poet's temperament, his mind had entered by chance +on a vast field; and he must see perforce the dry bones of twenty future +worlds. + +At a first glance the place presented a confused picture in which every +achievement, human and divine, was mingled. Crocodiles, monkeys, and +serpents stuffed with straw grinned at glass from church windows, +seemed to wish to bite sculptured heads, to chase lacquered work, or to +scramble up chandeliers. A Sevres vase, bearing Napoleon's portrait +by Mme. Jacotot, stood beside a sphinx dedicated to Sesostris. The +beginnings of the world and the events of yesterday were mingled +with grotesque cheerfulness. A kitchen jack leaned against a pyx, a +republican sabre on a mediaeval hackbut. Mme. du Barry, with a star +above her head, naked, and surrounded by a cloud, seemed to look +longingly out of Latour's pastel at an Indian chibook, while she tried +to guess the purpose of the spiral curves that wound towards her. +Instruments of death, poniards, curious pistols, and disguised weapons +had been flung down pell-mell among the paraphernalia of daily life; +porcelain tureens, Dresden plates, translucent cups from china, old +salt-cellars, comfit-boxes belonging to feudal times. A carved ivory +ship sped full sail on the back of a motionless tortoise. + +The Emperor Augustus remained unmoved and imperial with an air-pump +thrust into one eye. Portraits of French sheriffs and Dutch +burgomasters, phlegmatic now as when in life, looked down pallid and +unconcerned on the chaos of past ages below them. + +Every land of earth seemed to have contributed some stray fragment of +its learning, some example of its art. Nothing seemed lacking to this +philosophical kitchen-midden, from a redskin's calumet, a green and +golden slipper from the seraglio, a Moorish yataghan, a Tartar idol, to +the soldier's tobacco pouch, to the priest's ciborium, and the plumes +that once adorned a throne. This extraordinary combination was rendered +yet more bizarre by the accidents of lighting, by a multitude of +confused reflections of various hues, by the sharp contrast of blacks +and whites. Broken cries seemed to reach the ear, unfinished dramas +seized upon the imagination, smothered lights caught the eye. A thin +coating of inevitable dust covered all the multitudinous corners and +convolutions of these objects of various shapes which gave highly +picturesque effects. + +First of all, the stranger compared the three galleries which +civilization, cults, divinities, masterpieces, dominions, carousals, +sanity, and madness had filled to repletion, to a mirror with numerous +facets, each depicting a world. After this first hazy idea he would fain +have selected his pleasures; but by dint of using his eyes, thinking and +musing, a fever began to possess him, caused perhaps by the gnawing pain +of hunger. The spectacle of so much existence, individual or national, +to which these pledges bore witness, ended by numbing his senses--the +purpose with which he entered the shop was fulfilled. He had left the +real behind, and had climbed gradually up to an ideal world; he had +attained to the enchanted palace of ecstasy, whence the universe +appeared to him by fragments and in shapes of flame, as once the future +blazed out before the eyes of St. John in Patmos. + +A crowd of sorrowing faces, beneficent and appalling, dark and luminous, +far and near, gathered in numbers, in myriads, in whole generations. +Egypt, rigid and mysterious, arose from her sands in the form of a mummy +swathed in black bandages; then the Pharaohs swallowed up nations, that +they might build themselves a tomb; and he beheld Moses and the Hebrews +and the desert, and a solemn antique world. Fresh and joyous, a marble +statue spoke to him from a twisted column of the pleasure-loving myths +of Greece and Ionia. Ah! who would not have smiled with him to see, +against the earthen red background, the brown-faced maiden dancing with +gleeful reverence before the god Priapus, wrought in the fine clay of an +Etruscan vase? The Latin queen caressed her chimera. + +The whims of Imperial Rome were there in life, the bath was disclosed, +the toilette of a languid Julia, dreaming, waiting for her Tibullus. +Strong with the might of Arabic spells, the head of Cicero evoked +memories of a free Rome, and unrolled before him the scrolls of Titus +Livius. The young man beheld _Senatus Populusque Romanus_; consuls, +lictors, togas with purple fringes; the fighting in the Forum, the angry +people, passed in review before him like the cloudy faces of a dream. + +Then Christian Rome predominated in his vision. A painter had laid +heaven open; he beheld the Virgin Mary wrapped in a golden cloud among +the angels, shining more brightly than the sun, receiving the prayers of +sufferers, on whom this second Eve Regenerate smiles pityingly. At the +touch of a mosaic, made of various lavas from Vesuvius and Etna, his +fancy fled to the hot tawny south of Italy. He was present at Borgia's +orgies, he roved among the Abruzzi, sought for Italian love intrigues, +grew ardent over pale faces and dark, almond-shaped eyes. He shivered +over midnight adventures, cut short by the cool thrust of a jealous +blade, as he saw a mediaeval dagger with a hilt wrought like lace, and +spots of rust like splashes of blood upon it. + +India and its religions took the shape of the idol with his peaked cap +of fantastic form, with little bells, clad in silk and gold. Close by, +a mat, as pretty as the bayadere who once lay upon it, still gave out +a faint scent of sandal wood. His fancy was stirred by a goggle-eyed +Chinese monster, with mouth awry and twisted limbs, the invention of +a people who, grown weary of the monotony of beauty, found an +indescribable pleasure in an infinite variety of ugliness. A salt-cellar +from Benvenuto Cellini's workshop carried him back to the Renaissance +at its height, to the time when there was no restraint on art or morals, +when torture was the sport of sovereigns; and from their councils, +churchmen with courtesans' arms about them issued decrees of chastity +for simple priests. + +On a cameo he saw the conquests of Alexander, the massacres of Pizarro +in a matchbox, and religious wars disorderly, fanatical, and cruel, in +the shadows of a helmet. Joyous pictures of chivalry were called up by +a suit of Milanese armor, brightly polished and richly wrought; a +paladin's eyes seemed to sparkle yet under the visor. + +This sea of inventions, fashions, furniture, works of art and fiascos, +made for him a poem without end. Shapes and colors and projects +all lived again for him, but his mind received no clear and perfect +conception. It was the poet's task to complete the sketches of the +great master, who had scornfully mingled on his palette the hues of the +numberless vicissitudes of human life. When the world at large at last +released him, when he had pondered over many lands, many epochs, and +various empires, the young man came back to the life of the individual. +He impersonated fresh characters, and turned his mind to details, +rejecting the life of nations as a burden too overwhelming for a single +soul. + +Yonder was a sleeping child modeled in wax, a relic of Ruysch's +collection, an enchanting creation which brought back the happiness of +his own childhood. The cotton garment of a Tahitian maid next fascinated +him; he beheld the primitive life of nature, the real modesty of naked +chastity, the joys of an idleness natural to mankind, a peaceful fate +by a slow river of sweet water under a plantain tree that bears its +pleasant manna without the toil of man. Then all at once he became a +corsair, investing himself with the terrible poetry that Lara has given +to the part: the thought came at the sight of the mother-of-pearl tints +of a myriad sea-shells, and grew as he saw madrepores redolent of the +sea-weeds and the storms of the Atlantic. + +The sea was forgotten again at a distant view of exquisite miniatures; +he admired a precious missal in manuscript, adorned with arabesques in +gold and blue. Thoughts of peaceful life swayed him; he devoted himself +afresh to study and research, longing for the easy life of the monk, +devoid alike of cares and pleasures; and from the depths of his cell +he looked out upon the meadows, woods, and vineyards of his convent. +Pausing before some work of Teniers, he took for his own the helmet +of the soldier or the poverty of the artisan; he wished to wear a +smoke-begrimed cap with these Flemings, to drink their beer and join +their game at cards, and smiled upon the comely plumpness of a peasant +woman. He shivered at a snowstorm by Mieris; he seemed to take part in +Salvator Rosa's battle-piece; he ran his fingers over a tomahawk +form Illinois, and felt his own hair rise as he touched a Cherokee +scalping-knife. He marveled over the rebec that he set in the hands of +some lady of the land, drank in the musical notes of her ballad, and in +the twilight by the gothic arch above the hearth he told his love in a +gloom so deep that he could not read his answer in her eyes. + +He caught at all delights, at all sorrows; grasped at existence in every +form; and endowed the phantoms conjured up from that inert and plastic +material so liberally with his own life and feelings, that the sound of +his own footsteps reached him as if from another world, or as the hum of +Paris reaches the towers of Notre Dame. + +He ascended the inner staircase which led to the first floor, with its +votive shields, panoplies, carved shrines, and figures on the wall at +every step. Haunted by the strangest shapes, by marvelous creations +belonging to the borderland betwixt life and death, he walked as if +under the spell of a dream. His own existence became a matter of doubt +to him; he was neither wholly alive nor dead, like the curious objects +about him. The light began to fade as he reached the show-rooms, but +the treasures of gold and silver heaped up there scarcely seemed to need +illumination from without. The most extravagant whims of prodigals, who +have run through millions to perish in garrets, had left their traces +here in this vast bazar of human follies. Here, beside a writing desk, +made at the cost of 100,000 francs, and sold for a hundred pence, lay a +lock with a secret worth a king's ransom. The human race was revealed +in all the grandeur of its wretchedness; in all the splendor of its +infinite littleness. An ebony table that an artist might worship, +carved after Jean Goujon's designs, in years of toil, had been purchased +perhaps at the price of firewood. Precious caskets, and things that +fairy hands might have fashioned, lay there in heaps like rubbish. + +"You must have the worth of millions here!" cried the young man as he +entered the last of an immense suite of rooms, all decorated and gilt by +eighteenth century artists. + +"Thousands of millions, you might say," said the florid shopman; "but +you have seen nothing as yet. Go up to the third floor, and you shall +see!" + +The stranger followed his guide to a fourth gallery, where one by one +there passed before his wearied eyes several pictures by Poussin, a +magnificent statue by Michael Angelo, enchanting landscapes by Claude +Lorraine, a Gerard Dow (like a stray page from Sterne), Rembrandts, +Murillos, and pictures by Velasquez, as dark and full of color as a poem +of Byron's; then came classic bas-reliefs, finely-cut agates, wonderful +cameos! Works of art upon works of art, till the craftsman's skill +palled on the mind, masterpiece after masterpiece till art itself became +hateful at last and enthusiasm died. He came upon a Madonna by Raphael, +but he was tired of Raphael; a figure by Correggio never received the +glance it demanded of him. A priceless vase of antique porphyry carved +round about with pictures of the most grotesquely wanton of Roman +divinities, the pride of some Corinna, scarcely drew a smile from him. + +The ruins of fifteen hundred vanished years oppressed him; he sickened +under all this human thought; felt bored by all this luxury and art. He +struggled in vain against the constantly renewed fantastic shapes that +sprang up from under his feet, like children of some sportive demon. + +Are not fearful poisons set up in the soul by a swift concentration of +all her energies, her enjoyments, or ideas; as modern chemistry, in its +caprice, repeats the action of creation by some gas or other? Do not +many men perish under the shock of the sudden expansion of some moral +acid within them? + +"What is there in that box?" he inquired, as he reached a large +closet--final triumph of human skill, originality, wealth, and splendor, +in which there hung a large, square mahogany coffer, suspended from a +nail by a silver chain. + +"Ah, _monsieur_ keeps the key of it," said the stout assistant +mysteriously. "If you wish to see the portrait, I will gladly venture to +tell him." + +"Venture!" said the young man; "then is your master a prince?" + +"I don't know what he is," the other answered. Equally astonished, each +looked for a moment at the other. Then construing the stranger's silence +as an order, the apprentice left him alone in the closet. + +Have you never launched into the immensity of time and space as you read +the geological writings of Cuvier? Carried by his fancy, have you hung +as if suspended by a magician's wand over the illimitable abyss of the +past? When the fossil bones of animals belonging to civilizations before +the Flood are turned up in bed after bed and layer upon layer of the +quarries of Montmartre or among the schists of the Ural range, the +soul receives with dismay a glimpse of millions of peoples forgotten +by feeble human memory and unrecognized by permanent divine tradition, +peoples whose ashes cover our globe with two feet of earth that yields +bread to us and flowers. + +Is not Cuvier the great poet of our era? Byron has given admirable +expression to certain moral conflicts, but our immortal naturalist has +reconstructed past worlds from a few bleached bones; has rebuilt cities, +like Cadmus, with monsters' teeth; has animated forests with all the +secrets of zoology gleaned from a piece of coal; has discovered a giant +population from the footprints of a mammoth. These forms stand erect, +grow large, and fill regions commensurate with their giant size. He +treats figures like a poet; a naught set beside a seven by him produces +awe. + +He can call up nothingness before you without the phrases of a +charlatan. He searches a lump of gypsum, finds an impression in it, says +to you, "Behold!" All at once marble takes an animal shape, the dead +come to life, the history of the world is laid open before you. After +countless dynasties of giant creatures, races of fish and clans of +mollusks, the race of man appears at last as the degenerate copy of a +splendid model, which the Creator has perchance destroyed. Emboldened +by his gaze into the past, this petty race, children of yesterday, +can overstep chaos, can raise a psalm without end, and outline for +themselves the story of the Universe in an Apocalypse that reveals the +past. After the tremendous resurrection that took place at the voice +of this man, the little drop in the nameless Infinite, common to all +spheres, that is ours to use, and that we call Time, seems to us a +pitiable moment of life. We ask ourselves the purpose of our triumphs, +our hatreds, our loves, overwhelmed as we are by the destruction of so +many past universes, and whether it is worth while to accept the pain of +life in order that hereafter we may become an intangible speck. Then we +remain as if dead, completely torn away from the present till the _valet +de chambre_ comes in and says, "_Madame la comtesse_ answers that she is +expecting _monsieur_." + +All the wonders which had brought the known world before the young man's +mind wrought in his soul much the same feeling of dejection that besets +the philosopher investigating unknown creatures. He longed more than +ever for death as he flung himself back in a curule chair and let his +eyes wander across the illusions composing a panorama of the past. +The pictures seemed to light up, the Virgin's heads smiled on him, the +statues seemed alive. Everything danced and swayed around him, with a +motion due to the gloom and the tormenting fever that racked his brain; +each monstrosity grimaced at him, while the portraits on the canvas +closed their eyes for a little relief. Every shape seemed to tremble +and start, and to leave its place gravely or flippantly, gracefully or +awkwardly, according to its fashion, character, and surroundings. + +A mysterious Sabbath began, rivaling the fantastic scenes witnessed +by Faust upon the Brocken. But these optical illusions, produced by +weariness, overstrained eyesight, or the accidents of twilight, could +not alarm the stranger. The terrors of life had no power over a soul +grown familiar with the terrors of death. He even gave himself up, half +amused by its bizarre eccentricities, to the influence of this moral +galvanism; its phenomena, closely connected with his last thoughts, +assured him that he was still alive. The silence about him was so deep +that he embarked once more in dreams that grew gradually darker and +darker as if by magic, as the light slowly faded. A last struggling ray +from the sun lit up rosy answering lights. He raised his head and saw a +skeleton dimly visible, with its skull bent doubtfully to one side, as +if to say, "The dead will none of thee as yet." + +He passed his hand over his forehead to shake off the drowsiness, and +felt a cold breath of air as an unknown furry something swept past his +cheeks. He shivered. A muffled clatter of the windows followed; it was +a bat, he fancied, that had given him this chilly sepulchral caress. He +could yet dimly see for a moment the shapes that surrounded him, by the +vague light in the west; then all these inanimate objects were blotted +out in uniform darkness. Night and the hour of death had suddenly come. +Thenceforward, for a while, he lost consciousness of the things about +him; he was either buried in deep meditation or sleep overcame him, +brought on by weariness or by the stress of those many thoughts that +lacerated his heart. + +Suddenly he thought that an awful voice called him by name; it was like +some feverish nightmare, when at a step the dreamer falls headlong over +into an abyss, and he trembled. He closed his eyes, dazzled by bright +rays from a red circle of light that shone out from the shadows. In the +midst of the circle stood a little old man who turned the light of the +lamp upon him, yet he had not heard him enter, nor move, nor speak. +There was something magical about the apparition. The boldest man, +awakened in such a sort, would have felt alarmed at the sight of this +figure, which might have issued from some sarcophagus hard by. + +A curiously youthful look in the unmoving eyes of the spectre forbade +the idea of anything supernatural; but for all that, in the brief space +between his dreaming and waking life, the young man's judgment remained +philosophically suspended, as Descartes advises. He was, in spite +of himself, under the influence of an unaccountable hallucination, a +mystery that our pride rejects, and that our imperfect science vainly +tries to resolve. + +Imagine a short old man, thin and spare, in a long black velvet gown +girded round him by a thick silk cord. His long white hair escaped on +either side of his face from under a black velvet cap which closely +fitted his head and made a formal setting for his countenance. His +gown enveloped his body like a winding sheet, so that all that was left +visible was a narrow bleached human face. But for the wasted arm, thin +as a draper's wand, which held aloft the lamp that cast all its light +upon him, the face would have seemed to hang in mid air. A gray pointed +beard concealed the chin of this fantastical appearance, and gave him +the look of one of those Jewish types which serve artists as models +for Moses. His lips were so thin and colorless that it needed a close +inspection to find the lines of his mouth at all in the pallid face. His +great wrinkled brow and hollow bloodless cheeks, the inexorably stern +expression of his small green eyes that no longer possessed eyebrows +or lashes, might have convinced the stranger that Gerard Dow's "Money +Changer" had come down from his frame. The craftiness of an inquisitor, +revealed in those curving wrinkles and creases that wound about his +temples, indicated a profound knowledge of life. There was no deceiving +this man, who seemed to possess a power of detecting the secrets of the +wariest heart. + +The wisdom and the moral codes of every people seemed gathered up in his +passive face, just as all the productions of the globe had been heaped +up in his dusty showrooms. He seemed to possess the tranquil luminous +vision of some god before whom all things are open, or the haughty power +of a man who knows all things. + +With two strokes of the brush a painter could have so altered the +expression of this face, that what had been a serene representation +of the Eternal Father should change to the sneering mask of a +Mephistopheles; for though sovereign power was revealed by the forehead, +mocking folds lurked about the mouth. He must have sacrificed all the +joys of earth, as he had crushed all human sorrows beneath his potent +will. The man at the brink of death shivered at the thought of the life +led by this spirit, so solitary and remote from our world; joyless, +since he had no one illusion left; painless, because pleasure had ceased +to exist for him. There he stood, motionless and serene as a star in a +bright mist. His lamp lit up the obscure closet, just as his green eyes, +with their quiet malevolence, seemed to shed a light on the moral world. + +This was the strange spectacle that startled the young man's returning +sight, as he shook off the dreamy fancies and thoughts of death that +had lulled him. An instant of dismay, a momentary return to belief +in nursery tales, may be forgiven him, seeing that his senses were +obscured. Much thought had wearied his mind, and his nerves were +exhausted with the strain of the tremendous drama within him, and by the +scenes that had heaped on him all the horrid pleasures that a piece of +opium can produce. + +But this apparition had appeared in Paris, on the Quai Voltaire, and in +the nineteenth century; the time and place made sorcery impossible. +The idol of French scepticism had died in the house just opposite, +the disciple of Gay-Lussac and Arago, who had held the charlatanism of +intellect in contempt. And yet the stranger submitted himself to the +influence of an imaginative spell, as all of us do at times, when we +wish to escape from an inevitable certainty, or to tempt the power of +Providence. So some mysterious apprehension of a strange force made him +tremble before the old man with the lamp. All of us have been stirred in +the same way by the sight of Napoleon, or of some other great man, made +illustrious by his genius or by fame. + +"You wish to see Raphael's portrait of Jesus Christ, monsieur?" the old +man asked politely. There was something metallic in the clear, sharp +ring of his voice. + +He set the lamp upon a broken column, so that all its light might fall +on the brown case. + +At the sacred names of Christ and Raphael the young man showed some +curiosity. The merchant, who no doubt looked for this, pressed a spring, +and suddenly the mahogany panel slid noiselessly back in its groove, and +discovered the canvas to the stranger's admiring gaze. At sight of this +deathless creation, he forgot his fancies in the show-rooms and the +freaks of his dreams, and became himself again. The old man became a +being of flesh and blood, very much alive, with nothing chimerical about +him, and took up his existence at once upon solid earth. + +The sympathy and love, and the gentle serenity in the divine face, +exerted an instant sway over the younger spectator. Some influence +falling from heaven bade cease the burning torment that consumed the +marrow of his bones. The head of the Saviour of mankind seemed to issue +from among the shadows represented by a dark background; an aureole of +light shone out brightly from his hair; an impassioned belief seemed to +glow through him, and to thrill every feature. The word of life had just +been uttered by those red lips, the sacred sounds seemed to linger still +in the air; the spectator besought the silence for those captivating +parables, hearkened for them in the future, and had to turn to the +teachings of the past. The untroubled peace of the divine eyes, the +comfort of sorrowing souls, seemed an interpretation of the Evangel. +The sweet triumphant smile revealed the secret of the Catholic religion, +which sums up all things in the precept, "Love one another." This +picture breathed the spirit of prayer, enjoined forgiveness, overcame +self, caused sleeping powers of good to waken. For this work of +Raphael's had the imperious charm of music; you were brought under the +spell of memories of the past; his triumph was so absolute that the +artist was forgotten. The witchery of the lamplight heightened the +wonder; the head seemed at times to flicker in the distance, enveloped +in cloud. + +"I covered the surface of that picture with gold pieces," said the +merchant carelessly. + +"And now for death!" cried the young man, awakened from his musings. His +last thought had recalled his fate to him, as it led him imperceptibly +back from the forlorn hopes to which he had clung. + +"Ah, ha! then my suspicions were well founded!" said the other, and his +hands held the young man's wrists in a grip like that of a vice. + +The younger man smiled wearily at his mistake, and said gently: + +"You, sir, have nothing to fear; it is not your life, but my own that +is in question.... But why should I hide a harmless fraud?" he went on, +after a look at the anxious old man. "I came to see your treasures to +while away the time till night should come and I could drown myself +decently. Who would grudge this last pleasure to a poet and a man of +science?" + +While he spoke, the jealous merchant watched the haggard face of his +pretended customer with keen eyes. Perhaps the mournful tones of his +voice reassured him, or he also read the dark signs of fate in the faded +features that had made the gamblers shudder; he released his hands, but, +with a touch of caution, due to the experience of some hundred years at +least, he stretched his arm out to a sideboard as if to steady himself, +took up a little dagger, and said: + +"Have you been a supernumerary clerk of the Treasury for three years +without receiving any perquisites?" + +The stranger could scarcely suppress a smile as he shook his head. + +"Perhaps your father has expressed his regret for your birth a little +too sharply? Or have you disgraced yourself?" + +"If I meant to be disgraced, I should live." + +"You have been hissed perhaps at the Funambules? Or you have had to +compose couplets to pay for your mistress' funeral? Do you want to be +cured of the gold fever? Or to be quit of the spleen? For what blunder +is your life forfeit?" + +"You must not look among the common motives that impel suicides for the +reason of my death. To spare myself the task of disclosing my unheard-of +sufferings, for which language has no name, I will tell you this--that +I am in the deepest, most humiliating, and most cruel trouble, and," he +went on in proud tones that harmonized ill with the words just uttered, +"I have no wish to beg for either help or sympathy." + +"Eh! eh!" + +The two syllables which the old man pronounced resembled the sound of a +rattle. Then he went on thus: + +"Without compelling you to entreat me, without making you blush for +it, and without giving you so much as a French centime, a para from the +Levant, a German heller, a Russian kopeck, a Scottish farthing, a single +obolus or sestertius from the ancient world, or one piastre from the +new, without offering you anything whatever in gold, silver, or copper, +notes or drafts, I will make you richer, more powerful, and of more +consequence than a constitutional king." + +The young man thought that the older was in his dotage, and waited in +bewilderment without venturing to reply. + +"Turn round," said the merchant, suddenly catching up the lamp in order +to light up the opposite wall; "look at that leathern skin," he went on. + +The young man rose abruptly, and showed some surprise at the sight of a +piece of shagreen which hung on the wall behind his chair. It was only +about the size of a fox's skin, but it seemed to fill the deep shadows +of the place with such brilliant rays that it looked like a small comet, +an appearance at first sight inexplicable. The young sceptic went up +to this so-called talisman, which was to rescue him from all points of +view, and he soon found out the cause of its singular brilliancy. The +dark grain of the leather had been so carefully burnished and polished, +the striped markings of the graining were so sharp and clear, that every +particle of the surface of the bit of Oriental leather was in itself a +focus which concentrated the light, and reflected it vividly. + +He accounted for this phenomenon categorically to the old man, who only +smiled meaningly by way of answer. His superior smile led the young +scientific man to fancy that he himself had been deceived by some +imposture. He had no wish to carry one more puzzle to his grave, and +hastily turned the skin over, like some child eager to find out the +mysteries of a new toy. + +"Ah," he cried, "here is the mark of the seal which they call in the +East the Signet of Solomon." + +"So you know that, then?" asked the merchant. His peculiar method of +laughter, two or three quick breathings through the nostrils, said more +than any words however eloquent. + +"Is there anybody in the world simple enough to believe in that idle +fancy?" said the young man, nettled by the spitefulness of the silent +chuckle. "Don't you know," he continued, "that the superstitions of the +East have perpetuated the mystical form and the counterfeit characters +of the symbol, which represents a mythical dominion? I have no more +laid myself open to a charge of credulity in this case, than if I had +mentioned sphinxes or griffins, whose existence mythology in a manner +admits." + +"As you are an Orientalist," replied the other, "perhaps you can read +that sentence." + +He held the lamp close to the talisman, which the young man held towards +him, and pointed out some characters inlaid in the surface of the +wonderful skin, as if they had grown on the animal to which it once +belonged. + +"I must admit," said the stranger, "that I have no idea how the letters +could be engraved so deeply on the skin of a wild ass." And he turned +quickly to the tables strewn with curiosities and seemed to look for +something. + +"What is it that you want?" asked the old man. + +"Something that will cut the leather, so that I can see whether the +letters are printed or inlaid." + +The old man held out his stiletto. The stranger took it and tried to cut +the skin above the lettering; but when he had removed a thin shaving of +leather from them, the characters still appeared below, so clear and so +exactly like the surface impression, that for a moment he was not sure +that he had cut anything away after all. + +"The craftsmen of the Levant have secrets known only to themselves," +he said, half in vexation, as he eyed the characters of this Oriental +sentence. + +"Yes," said the old man, "it is better to attribute it to man's agency +than to God's." + +The mysterious words were thus arranged: + + [Drawing of apparently Sanskrit characters omitted] + +Or, as it runs in English: + + POSSESSING ME THOU SHALT POSSESS ALL THINGS. + BUT THY LIFE IS MINE, FOR GOD HAS SO WILLED IT. + WISH, AND THY WISHES SHALL BE FULFILLED; + BUT MEASURE THY DESIRES, ACCORDING + TO THE LIFE THAT IS IN THEE. + THIS IS THY LIFE, + WITH EACH WISH I MUST SHRINK + EVEN AS THY OWN DAYS. + WILT THOU HAVE ME? TAKE ME. + GOD WILL HEARKEN UNTO THEE. + SO BE IT! + +"So you read Sanskrit fluently," said the old man. "You have been in +Persia perhaps, or in Bengal?" + +"No, sir," said the stranger, as he felt the emblematical skin +curiously. It was almost as rigid as a sheet of metal. + +The old merchant set the lamp back again upon the column, giving +the other a look as he did so. "He has given up the notion of dying +already," the glance said with phlegmatic irony. + +"Is it a jest, or is it an enigma?" asked the younger man. + +The other shook his head and said soberly: + +"I don't know how to answer you. I have offered this talisman with its +terrible powers to men with more energy in them than you seem to me to +have; but though they laughed at the questionable power it might exert +over their futures, not one of them was ready to venture to conclude the +fateful contract proposed by an unknown force. I am of their opinion, I +have doubted and refrained, and----" + +"Have you never even tried its power?" interrupted the young stranger. + +"Tried it!" exclaimed the old man. "Suppose that you were on the column +in the Place Vendome, would you try flinging yourself into space? Is it +possible to stay the course of life? Has a man ever been known to die +by halves? Before you came here, you had made up your mind to kill +yourself, but all at once a mystery fills your mind, and you think no +more about death. You child! Does not any one day of your life afford +mysteries more absorbing? Listen to me. I saw the licentious days of +Regency. I was like you, then, in poverty; I have begged my bread; but +for all that, I am now a centenarian with a couple of years to spare, +and a millionaire to boot. Misery was the making of me, ignorance has +made me learned. I will tell you in a few words the great secret of +human life. By two instinctive processes man exhausts the springs of +life within him. Two verbs cover all the forms which these two causes of +death may take--To Will and To have your Will. Between these two limits +of human activity the wise have discovered an intermediate formula, to +which I owe my good fortune and long life. To Will consumes us, and To +have our Will destroys us, but To Know steeps our feeble organisms +in perpetual calm. In me Thought has destroyed Will, so that Power is +relegated to the ordinary functions of my economy. In a word, it is not +in the heart which can be broken, or in the senses that become deadened, +but it is in the brain that cannot waste away and survives everything +else, that I have set my life. Moderation has kept mind and body +unruffled. Yet, I have seen the whole world. I have learned all +languages, lived after every manner. I have lent a Chinaman money, +taking his father's corpse as a pledge, slept in an Arab's tent on the +security of his bare word, signed contracts in every capital of Europe, +and left my gold without hesitation in savage wigwams. I have attained +everything, because I have known how to despise all things. + +"My one ambition has been to see. Is not Sight in a manner Insight? +And to have knowledge or insight, is not that to have instinctive +possession? To be able to discover the very substance of fact and to +unite its essence to our essence? Of material possession what abides +with you but an idea? Think, then, how glorious must be the life of a +man who can stamp all realities upon his thought, place the springs of +happiness within himself, and draw thence uncounted pleasures in idea, +unspoiled by earthly stains. Thought is a key to all treasures; the +miser's gains are ours without his cares. Thus I have soared above this +world, where my enjoyments have been intellectual joys. I have reveled +in the contemplation of seas, peoples, forests, and mountains! I have +seen all things, calmly, and without weariness; I have set my desires +on nothing; I have waited in expectation of everything. I have walked +to and fro in the world as in a garden round about my own dwelling. +Troubles, loves, ambitions, losses, and sorrows, as men call them, +are for me ideas, which I transmute into waking dreams; I express and +transpose instead of feeling them; instead of permitting them to prey +upon my life, I dramatize and expand them; I divert myself with them as +if they were romances which I could read by the power of vision within +me. As I have never overtaxed my constitution, I still enjoy robust +health; and as my mind is endowed with all the force that I have not +wasted, this head of mine is even better furnished than my galleries. +The true millions lie here," he said, striking his forehead. "I spend +delicious days in communings with the past; I summon before me whole +countries, places, extents of sea, the fair faces of history. In my +imaginary seraglio I have all the women that I have never possessed. +Your wars and revolutions come up before me for judgment. What is a +feverish fugitive admiration for some more or less brightly colored +piece of flesh and blood; some more or less rounded human form; what +are all the disasters that wait on your erratic whims, compared with +the magnificent power of conjuring up the whole world within your soul, +compared with the immeasurable joys of movement, unstrangled by the +cords of time, unclogged by the fetters of space; the joys of beholding +all things, of comprehending all things, of leaning over the parapet of +the world to question the other spheres, to hearken to the voice of God? +There," he burst out, vehemently, "there are To Will and To have your +Will, both together," he pointed to the bit of shagreen; "there are your +social ideas, your immoderate desires, your excesses, your pleasures +that end in death, your sorrows that quicken the pace of life, for pain +is perhaps but a violent pleasure. Who could determine the point where +pleasure becomes pain, where pain is still a pleasure? Is not the utmost +brightness of the ideal world soothing to us, while the lightest shadows +of the physical world annoy? Is not knowledge the secret of wisdom? And +what is folly but a riotous expenditure of Will or Power?" + +"Very good then, a life of riotous excess for me!" said the stranger, +pouncing upon the piece of shagreen. + +"Young man, beware!" cried the other with incredible vehemence. + +"I had resolved my existence into thought and study," the stranger +replied; "and yet they have not even supported me. I am not to be gulled +by a sermon worthy of Swedenborg, nor by your Oriental amulet, nor yet +by your charitable endeavors to keep me in a world wherein existence is +no longer possible for me.... Let me see now," he added, clutching the +talisman convulsively, as he looked at the old man, "I wish for a +royal banquet, a carouse worthy of this century, which, it is said, has +brought everything to perfection! Let me have young boon companions, +witty, unwarped by prejudice, merry to the verge of madness! Let one +wine succeed another, each more biting and perfumed than the last, and +strong enough to bring about three days of delirium! Passionate women's +forms should grace that night! I would be borne away to unknown regions +beyond the confines of this world, by the car and four-winged steed of +a frantic and uproarious orgy. Let us ascend to the skies, or plunge +ourselves in the mire. I do not know if one soars or sinks at such +moments, and I do not care! Next, I bid this enigmatical power +to concentrate all delights for me in one single joy. Yes, I must +comprehend every pleasure of earth and heaven in the final embrace that +is to kill me. Therefore, after the wine, I wish to hold high festival +to Priapus, with songs that might rouse the dead, and kisses without +end; the sound of them should pass like the crackling of flame through +Paris, should revive the heat of youth and passion in husband and wife, +even in hearts of seventy years." + +A laugh burst from the little old man. It rang in the young man's ears +like an echo from hell; and tyrannously cut him short. He said no more. + +"Do you imagine that my floors are going to open suddenly, so that +luxuriously-appointed tables may rise through them, and guests from +another world? No, no, young madcap. You have entered into the compact +now, and there is an end of it. Henceforward, your wishes will be +accurately fulfilled, but at the expense of your life. The compass of +your days, visible in that skin, will contract according to the strength +and number of your desires, from the least to the most extravagant. The +Brahmin from whom I had this skin once explained to me that it would +bring about a mysterious connection between the fortunes and wishes of +its possessor. Your first wish is a vulgar one, which I could fulfil, +but I leave that to the issues of your new existence. After all, you +were wishing to die; very well, your suicide is only put off for a +time." + +The stranger was surprised and irritated that this peculiar old man +persisted in not taking him seriously. A half philanthropic intention +peeped so clearly forth from his last jesting observation, that he +exclaimed: + +"I shall soon see, sir, if any change comes over my fortunes in the time +it will take to cross the width of the quay. But I should like us to be +quits for such a momentous service; that is, if you are not laughing +at an unlucky wretch, so I wish that you may fall in love with an +opera-dancer. You would understand the pleasures of intemperance then, +and might perhaps grow lavish of the wealth that you have husbanded so +philosophically." + +He went out without heeding the old man's heavy sigh, went back through +the galleries and down the staircase, followed by the stout assistant +who vainly tried to light his passage; he fled with the haste of a +robber caught in the act. Blinded by a kind of delirium, he did not even +notice the unexpected flexibility of the piece of shagreen, which coiled +itself up, pliant as a glove in his excited fingers, till it would go +into the pocket of his coat, where he mechanically thrust it. As he +rushed out of the door into the street, he ran up against three young +men who were passing arm-in-arm. + +"Brute!" + +"Idiot!" + +Such were the gratifying expressions exchanged between them. + +"Why, it is Raphael!" + +"Good! we were looking for you." + +"What! it is you, then?" + +These three friendly exclamations quickly followed the insults, as the +light of a street lamp, flickering in the wind, fell upon the astonished +faces of the group. + +"My dear fellow, you must come with us!" said the young man that Raphael +had all but knocked down. + +"What is all this about?" + +"Come along, and I will tell you the history of it as we go." + +By fair means or foul, Raphael must go along with his friends towards +the Pont des Arts; they surrounded him, and linked him by the arm among +their merry band. + +"We have been after you for about a week," the speaker went on. "At your +respectable hotel _de Saint Quentin_, where, by the way, the sign with +the alternate black and red letters cannot be removed, and hangs out +just as it did in the time of Jean Jacques, that Leonarda of yours told +us that you were off into the country. For all that, we certainly did +not look like duns, creditors, sheriff's officers, or the like. But no +matter! Rastignac had seen you the evening before at the Bouffons; we +took courage again, and made it a point of honor to find out whether +you were roosting in a tree in the Champs-Elysees, or in one of those +philanthropic abodes where the beggars sleep on a twopenny rope, or if, +more luckily, you were bivouacking in some boudoir or other. We could +not find you anywhere. Your name was not in the jailers' registers +at the St. Pelagie nor at La Force! Government departments, cafes, +libraries, lists of prefects' names, newspaper offices, restaurants, +greenrooms--to cut it short, every lurking place in Paris, good or bad, +has been explored in the most expert manner. We bewailed the loss of a +man endowed with such genius, that one might look to find him at Court +or in the common jails. We talked of canonizing you as a hero of July, +and, upon my word, we regretted you!" + +As he spoke, the friends were crossing the Pont des Arts. Without +listening to them, Raphael looked at the Seine, at the clamoring waves +that reflected the lights of Paris. Above that river, in which but +now he had thought to fling himself, the old man's prediction had been +fulfilled, the hour of his death had been already put back by fate. + +"We really regretted you," said his friend, still pursuing his theme. +"It was a question of a plan in which we included you as a superior +person, that is to say, somebody who can put himself above other people. +The constitutional thimble-rig is carried on to-day, dear boy, more +seriously than ever. The infamous monarchy, displaced by the heroism of +the people, was a sort of drab, you could laugh and revel with her; but +La Patrie is a shrewish and virtuous wife, and willy-nilly you must take +her prescribed endearments. Then besides, as you know, authority passed +over from the Tuileries to the journalists, at the time when the Budget +changed its quarters and went from the Faubourg Saint-Germain to the +Chaussee de Antin. But this you may not know perhaps. The Government, +that is, the aristocracy of lawyers and bankers who represent the +country to-day, just as the priests used to do in the time of the +monarchy, has felt the necessity of mystifying the worthy people of +France with a few new words and old ideas, like philosophers of +every school, and all strong intellects ever since time began. So now +Royalist-national ideas must be inculcated, by proving to us that it +is far better to pay twelve million francs, thirty-three centimes to +La Patrie, represented by Messieurs Such-and-Such, than to pay eleven +hundred million francs, nine centimes to a king who used to say _I_ +instead of _we_. In a word, a journal, with two or three hundred +thousand francs, good, at the back of it, has just been started, with a +view to making an opposition paper to content the discontented, without +prejudice to the national government of the citizen-king. We scoff +at liberty as at despotism now, and at religion or incredulity quite +impartially. And since, for us, 'our country' means a capital where +ideas circulate and are sold at so much a line, a succulent dinner every +day, and the play at frequent intervals, where profligate women swarm, +where suppers last on into the next day, and light loves are hired by +the hour like cabs; and since Paris will always be the most adorable of +all countries, the country of joy, liberty, wit, pretty women, _mauvais +sujets_, and good wine; where the truncheon of authority never makes +itself disagreeably felt, because one is so close to those who wield +it,--we, therefore, sectaries of the god Mephistopheles, have engaged to +whitewash the public mind, to give fresh costumes to the actors, to put +a new plank or two in the government booth, to doctor doctrinaires, +and warm up old Republicans, to touch up the Bonapartists a bit, and +revictual the Centre; provided that we are allowed to laugh _in petto_ +at both kings and peoples, to think one thing in the morning and another +at night, and to lead a merry life _a la_ Panurge, or to recline upon +soft cushions, _more orientali_. + +"The sceptre of this burlesque and macaronic kingdom," he went on, "we +have reserved for you; so we are taking you straightway to a dinner +given by the founder of the said newspaper, a retired banker, who, at a +loss to know what to do with his money, is going to buy some brains +with it. You will be welcomed as a brother, we shall hail you as king +of these free lances who will undertake anything; whose perspicacity +discovers the intentions of Austria, England, or Russia before either +Russia, Austria or England have formed any. Yes, we will invest you with +the sovereignty of those puissant intellects which give to the world its +Mirabeaus, Talleyrands, Pitts, and Metternichs--all the clever Crispins +who treat the destinies of a kingdom as gamblers' stakes, just as +ordinary men play dominoes for _kirschenwasser_. We have given you out +to be the most undaunted champion who ever wrestled in a drinking-bout +at close quarters with the monster called Carousal, whom all bold +spirits wish to try a fall with; we have gone so far as to say that +you have never yet been worsted. I hope you will not make liars of us. +Taillefer, our amphitryon, has undertaken to surpass the circumscribed +saturnalias of the petty modern Lucullus. He is rich enough to infuse +pomp into trifles, and style and charm into dissipation... Are you +listening, Raphael?" asked the orator, interrupting himself. + +"Yes," answered the young man, less surprised by the accomplishment +of his wishes than by the natural manner in which the events had come +about. + +He could not bring himself to believe in magic, but he marveled at the +accidents of human fate. + +"Yes, you say, just as if you were thinking of your grandfather's +demise," remarked one of his neighbors. + +"Ah!" cried Raphael, "I was thinking, my friends, that we are in a fair +way to become very great scoundrels," and there was an ingenuousness in +his tones that set these writers, the hope of young France, in a roar. +"So far our blasphemies have been uttered over our cups; we have passed +our judgments on life while drunk, and taken men and affairs in an +after-dinner frame of mind. We were innocent of action; we were bold in +words. But now we are to be branded with the hot iron of politics; +we are going to enter the convict's prison and to drop our illusions. +Although one has no belief left, except in the devil, one may regret +the paradise of one's youth and the age of innocence, when we devoutly +offered the tip of our tongue to some good priest for the consecrated +wafer of the sacrament. Ah, my good friends, our first peccadilloes gave +us so much pleasure because the consequent remorse set them off and lent +a keen relish to them; but nowadays----" + +"Oh! now," said the first speaker, "there is still left----" + +"What?" asked another. + +"Crime----" + +"There is a word as high as the gallows and deeper than the Seine," said +Raphael. + +"Oh, you don't understand me; I mean political crime. Since this +morning, a conspirator's life is the only one I covet. I don't know that +the fancy will last over to-morrow, but to-night at least my gorge rises +at the anaemic life of our civilization and its railroad evenness. I am +seized with a passion for the miseries of retreat from Moscow, for the +excitements of the Red Corsair, or for a smuggler's life. I should like +to go to Botany Bay, as we have no Chartreaux left us here in France; +it is a sort of infirmary reserved for little Lord Byrons who, having +crumpled up their lives like a serviette after dinner, have nothing left +to do but to set their country ablaze, blow their own brains out, plot +for a republic or clamor for a war----" + +"Emile," Raphael's neighbor called eagerly to the speaker, "on my honor, +but for the revolution of July I would have taken orders, and gone off +down into the country somewhere to lead the life of an animal, and----" + +"And you would have read your breviary through every day." + +"Yes." + +"You are a coxcomb!" + +"Why, we read the newspapers as it is!" + +"Not bad that, for a journalist! But hold your tongue, we are going +through a crowd of subscribers. Journalism, look you, is the religion of +modern society, and has even gone a little further." + +"What do you mean?" + +"Its pontiffs are not obliged to believe in it any more than the people +are." + +Chatting thus, like good fellows who have known their _De Viris +illustribus_ for years past, they reached a mansion in the Rue Joubert. + +Emile was a journalist who had acquired more reputation by dint of +doing nothing than others had derived from their achievements. A bold, +caustic, and powerful critic, he possessed all the qualities that his +defects permitted. An outspoken giber, he made numberless epigrams on +a friend to his face; but would defend him, if absent, with courage +and loyalty. He laughed at everything, even at his own career. Always +impecunious, he yet lived, like all men of his calibre, plunged in +unspeakable indolence. He would fling some word containing volumes +in the teeth of folk who could not put a syllable of sense into their +books. He lavished promises that he never fulfilled; he made a pillow of +his luck and reputation, on which he slept, and ran the risk of waking +up to old age in a workhouse. A steadfast friend to the gallows foot, +a cynical swaggerer with a child's simplicity, a worker only from +necessity or caprice. + +"In the language of Maitre Alcofribas, we are about to make a famous +_troncon de chiere lie_," he remarked to Raphael as he pointed out the +flower-stands that made a perfumed forest of the staircase. + +"I like a vestibule to be well warmed and richly carpeted," Raphael +said. "Luxury in the peristyle is not common in France. I feel as if +life had begun anew here." + +"And up above we are going to drink and make merry once more, my dear +Raphael. Ah! yes," he went on, "and I hope we are going to come off +conquerors, too, and walk over everybody else's head." + +As he spoke, he jestingly pointed to the guests. They were entering +a large room which shone with gilding and lights, and there all the +younger men of note in Paris welcomed them. Here was one who had just +revealed fresh powers, his first picture vied with the glories of +Imperial art. There, another, who but yesterday had launched forth a +volume, an acrid book filled with a sort of literary arrogance, which +opened up new ways to the modern school. A sculptor, not far away, with +vigorous power visible in his rough features, was chatting with one of +those unenthusiastic scoffers who can either see excellence anywhere or +nowhere, as it happens. Here, the cleverest of our caricaturists, +with mischievous eyes and bitter tongue, lay in wait for epigrams to +translate into pencil strokes; there, stood the young and audacious +writer, who distilled the quintessence of political ideas better than +any other man, or compressed the work of some prolific writer as he held +him up to ridicule; he was talking with the poet whose works would +have eclipsed all the writings of the time if his ability had been as +strenuous as his hatreds. Both were trying not to say the truth while +they kept clear of lies, as they exchanged flattering speeches. A famous +musician administered soothing consolation in a rallying fashion, to +a young politician who had just fallen quite unhurt, from his rostrum. +Young writers who lacked style stood beside other young writers who +lacked ideas, and authors of poetical prose by prosaic poets. + +At the sight of all these incomplete beings, a simple Saint Simonian, +ingenuous enough to believe in his own doctrine, charitably paired them +off, designing, no doubt, to convert them into monks of his order. A +few men of science mingled in the conversation, like nitrogen in the +atmosphere, and several _vaudevillistes_ shed rays like the sparking +diamonds that give neither light nor heat. A few paradox-mongers, +laughing up their sleeves at any folk who embraced their likes or +dislikes in men or affairs, had already begun a two-edged policy, +conspiring against all systems, without committing themselves to any +side. Then there was the self-appointed critic who admires nothing, and +will blow his nose in the middle of a _cavatina_ at the Bouffons, who +applauds before any one else begins, and contradicts every one who says +what he himself was about to say; he was there giving out the sayings +of wittier men for his own. Of all the assembled guests, a future lay +before some five; ten or so should acquire a fleeting renown; as for the +rest, like all mediocrities, they might apply to themselves the famous +falsehood of Louis XVIII., Union and oblivion. + +The anxious jocularity of a man who is expending two thousand crowns sat +on their host. His eyes turned impatiently towards the door from time to +time, seeking one of his guests who kept him waiting. Very soon a stout +little person appeared, who was greeted by a complimentary murmur; +it was the notary who had invented the newspaper that very morning. +A valet-de-chambre in black opened the doors of a vast dining-room, +whither every one went without ceremony, and took his place at an +enormous table. + +Raphael took a last look round the room before he left it. His wish had +been realized to the full. The rooms were adorned with silk and gold. +Countless wax tapers set in handsome candelabra lit up the slightest +details of gilded friezes, the delicate bronze sculpture, and the +splendid colors of the furniture. The sweet scent of rare flowers, set +in stands tastefully made of bamboo, filled the air. Everything, even +the curtains, was pervaded by elegance without pretension, and there was +a certain imaginative charm about it all which acted like a spell on the +mind of a needy man. + +"An income of a hundred thousand livres a year is a very nice beginning +of the catechism, and a wonderful assistance to putting morality into +our actions," he said, sighing. "Truly my sort of virtue can scarcely +go afoot, and vice means, to my thinking, a garret, a threadbare coat, a +gray hat in winter time, and sums owing to the porter.... I should like +to live in the lap of luxury a year, or six months, no matter! And then +afterwards, die. I should have known, exhausted, and consumed a thousand +lives, at any rate." + +"Why, you are taking the tone of a stockbroker in good luck," said +Emile, who overheard him. "Pooh! your riches would be a burden to you as +soon as you found that they would spoil your chances of coming out above +the rest of us. Hasn't the artist always kept the balance true between +the poverty of riches and the riches of poverty? And isn't struggle a +necessity to some of us? Look out for your digestion, and only look," +he added, with a mock-heroic gesture, "at the majestic, thrice holy, and +edifying appearance of this amiable capitalist's dining-room. That man +has in reality only made his money for our benefit. Isn't he a kind of +sponge of the polyp order, overlooked by naturalists, which should be +carefully squeezed before he is left for his heirs to feed upon? There +is style, isn't there, about those bas-reliefs that adorn the walls? And +the lustres, and the pictures, what luxury well carried out! If one may +believe those who envy him, or who know, or think they know, the origins +of his life, then this man got rid of a German and some others--his best +friend for one, and the mother of that friend, during the Revolution. +Could you house crimes under the venerable Taillefer's silvering locks? +He looks to me a very worthy man. Only see how the silver sparkles, and +is every glittering ray like a stab of a dagger to him?... Let us go in, +one might as well believe in Mahomet. If common report speak truth, here +are thirty men of talent, and good fellows too, prepared to dine off the +flesh and blood of a whole family;... and here are we ourselves, a pair +of youngsters full of open-hearted enthusiasm, and we shall be partakers +in his guilt. I have a mind to ask our capitalist whether he is a +respectable character...." + +"No, not now," cried Raphael, "but when he is dead drunk, we shall have +had our dinner then." + +The two friends sat down laughing. First of all, by a glance more rapid +than a word, each paid his tribute of admiration to the splendid general +effect of the long table, white as a bank of freshly-fallen snow, with +its symmetrical line of covers, crowned with their pale golden rolls of +bread. Rainbow colors gleamed in the starry rays of light reflected by +the glass; the lights of the tapers crossed and recrossed each other +indefinitely; the dishes covered with their silver domes whetted both +appetite and curiosity. + +Few words were spoken. Neighbors exchanged glances as the Maderia +circulated. Then the first course appeared in all its glory; it would +have done honor to the late Cambaceres, Brillat-Savarin would have +celebrated it. The wines of Bordeaux and Burgundy, white and red, were +royally lavished. This first part of the banquet might been compared in +every way to a rendering of some classical tragedy. The second act grew +a trifle noisier. Every guest had had a fair amount to drink, and had +tried various crus at this pleasure, so that as the remains of the +magnificent first course were removed, tumultuous discussions began; +a pale brow here and there began to flush, sundry noses took a purpler +hue, faces lit up, and eyes sparkled. + +While intoxication was only dawning, the conversation did not overstep +the bounds of civility; but banter and bon mots slipped by degrees from +every tongue; and then slander began to rear its little snake's heard, +and spoke in dulcet tones; a few shrewd ones here and there gave heed to +it, hoping to keep their heads. So the second course found their minds +somewhat heated. Every one ate as he spoke, spoke while he ate, and +drank without heeding the quantity of the liquor, the wine was so +biting, the bouquet so fragrant, the example around so infectious. +Taillefer made a point of stimulating his guests, and plied them with +the formidable wines of the Rhone, with fierce Tokay, and heady old +Roussillon. + +The champagne, impatiently expected and lavishly poured out, was a +scourge of fiery sparks to these men; released like post-horses from +some mail-coach by a relay; they let their spirits gallop away into the +wilds of argument to which no one listened, began to tell stories which +had no auditors, and repeatedly asked questions to which no answer was +made. Only the loud voice of wassail could be heard, a voice made up +of a hundred confused clamors, which rose and grew like a crescendo of +Rossini's. Insidious toasts, swagger, and challenges followed. + +Each renounced any pride in his own intellectual capacity, in order to +vindicate that of hogsheads, casks, and vats; and each made noise enough +for two. A time came when the footmen smiled, while their masters all +talked at once. A philosopher would have been interested, doubtless, by +the singularity of the thoughts expressed, a politician would have been +amazed by the incongruity of the methods discussed in the melee of words +or doubtfully luminous paradoxes, where truths, grotesquely caparisoned, +met in conflict across the uproar of brawling judgments, of arbitrary +decisions and folly, much as bullets, shells, and grapeshot are hurled +across a battlefield. + +It was at once a volume and a picture. Every philosophy, religion, and +moral code differing so greatly in every latitude, every government, +every great achievement of the human intellect, fell before a scythe as +long as Time's own; and you might have found it hard to decide whether +it was wielded by Gravity intoxicated, or by Inebriation grown sober and +clear-sighted. Borne away by a kind of tempest, their minds, like the +sea raging against the cliffs, seemed ready to shake the laws which +confine the ebb and flow of civilization; unconsciously fulfilling the +will of God, who has suffered evil and good to abide in nature, and +reserved the secret of their continual strife to Himself. A frantic +travesty of debate ensued, a Walpurgis-revel of intellects. Between the +dreary jests of these children of the Revolution over the inauguration +of a newspaper, and the talk of the joyous gossips at Gargantua's +birth, stretched the gulf that divides the nineteenth century from the +sixteenth. Laughingly they had begun the work of destruction, and our +journalists laughed amid the ruins. + +"What is the name of that young man over there?" said the notary, +indicating Raphael. "I thought I heard some one call him Valentin." + +"What stuff is this?" said Emile, laughing; "plain Valentin, say you? +Raphael DE Valentin, if you please. We bear an eagle or, on a field +sable, with a silver crown, beak and claws gules, and a fine motto: +NON CECIDIT ANIMUS. We are no foundling child, but a descendant of the +Emperor Valens, of the stock of the Valentinois, founders of the cities +of Valence in France, and Valencia in Spain, rightful heirs to the +Empire of the East. If we suffer Mahmoud on the throne of Byzantium, it +is out of pure condescension, and for lack of funds and soldiers." + +With a fork flourished above Raphael's head, Emile outlined a crown upon +it. The notary bethought himself a moment, but soon fell to drinking +again, with a gesture peculiar to himself; it was quite impossible, +it seemed to say to secure in his clientele the cities of Valence and +Byzantium, the Emperor Valens, Mahmoud, and the house of Valentinois. + +"Should not the destruction of those ant-hills, Babylon, Tyre, Carthage, +and Venice, each crushed beneath the foot of a passing giant, serve as +a warning to man, vouchsafed by some mocking power?" said Claude Vignon, +who must play the Bossuet, as a sort of purchased slave, at the rate of +fivepence a line. + +"Perhaps Moses, Sylla, Louis XI., Richelieu, Robespierre, and Napoleon +were but the same man who crosses our civilizations now and again, like +a comet across the sky," said a disciple of Ballanche. + +"Why try to fathom the designs of Providence?" said Canalis, maker of +ballads. + +"Come, now," said the man who set up for a critic, "there is nothing +more elastic in the world than your Providence." + +"Well, sir, Louis XIV. sacrificed more lives over digging the +foundations of the Maintenon's aqueducts, than the Convention expended +in order to assess the taxes justly, to make one law for everybody, and +one nation of France, and to establish the rule of equal inheritance," +said Massol, whom the lack of a syllable before his name had made a +Republican. + +"Are you going to leave our heads on our shoulders?" asked Moreau (of +the Oise), a substantial farmer. "You, sir, who took blood for wine just +now?" + +"Where is the use? Aren't the principles of social order worth some +sacrifices, sir?" + +"Hi! Bixiou! What's-his-name, the Republican, considers a landowner's +head a sacrifice!" said a young man to his neighbor. + +"Men and events count for nothing," said the Republican, following out +his theory in spite of hiccoughs; "in politics, as in philosophy, there +are only principles and ideas." + +"What an abomination! Then you would ruthlessly put your friends to +death for a shibboleth?" + +"Eh, sir! the man who feels compunction is your thorough scoundrel, for +he has some notion of virtue; while Peter the Great and the Duke of Alva +were embodied systems, and the pirate Monbard an organization." + +"But can't society rid itself of your systems and organizations?" said +Canalis. + +"Oh, granted!" cried the Republican. + +"That stupid Republic of yours makes me feel queasy. We sha'n't be able +to carve a capon in peace, because we shall find the agrarian law inside +it." + +"Ah, my little Brutus, stuffed with truffles, your principles are all +right enough. But you are like my valet, the rogue is so frightfully +possessed with a mania for property that if I left him to clean my +clothes after his fashion, he would soon clean me out." + +"Crass idiots!" replied the Republican, "you are for setting a nation +straight with toothpicks. To your way of thinking, justice is more +dangerous than thieves." + +"Oh, dear!" cried the attorney Deroches. + +"Aren't they a bore with their politics!" said the notary Cardot. "Shut +up. That's enough of it. There is no knowledge nor virtue worth shedding +a drop of blood for. If Truth were brought into liquidation, we might +find her insolvent." + +"It would be much less trouble, no doubt, to amuse ourselves with evil, +rather than dispute about good. Moreover, I would give all the speeches +made for forty years past at the Tribune for a trout, for one of +Perrault's tales or Charlet's sketches." + +"Quite right!... Hand me the asparagus. Because, after all, liberty +begets anarchy, anarchy leads to despotism, and despotism back again +to liberty. Millions have died without securing a triumph for any one +system. Is not that the vicious circle in which the whole moral world +revolves? Man believes that he has reached perfection, when in fact he +has but rearranged matters." + +"Oh! oh!" cried Cursy, the _vaudevilliste_; "in that case, gentlemen, +here's to Charles X., the father of liberty." + +"Why not?" asked Emile. "When law becomes despotic, morals are relaxed, +and vice versa. + +"Let us drink to the imbecility of authority, which gives us such an +authority over imbeciles!" said the good banker. + +"Napoleon left us glory, at any rate, my good friend!" exclaimed a naval +officer who had never left Brest. + +"Glory is a poor bargain; you buy it dear, and it will not keep. +Does not the egotism of the great take the form of glory, just as for +nobodies it is their own well-being?" + +"You are very fortunate, sir----" + +"The first inventor of ditches must have been a weakling, for society +is only useful to the puny. The savage and the philosopher, at either +extreme of the moral scale, hold property in equal horror." + +"All very fine!" said Cardot; "but if there were no property, there +would be no documents to draw up." + +"These green peas are excessively delicious!" + +"And the _cure_ was found dead in his bed in the morning...." + +"Who is talking about death? Pray don't trifle, I have an uncle." + +"Could you bear his loss with resignation?" + +"No question." + +"Gentlemen, listen to me! _How to kill an uncle_. Silence! (Cries of +"Hush! hush!") In the first place, take an uncle, large and stout, +seventy years old at least, they are the best uncles. (Sensation.) Get +him to eat a pate de foie gras, any pretext will do." + +"Ah, but my uncle is a thin, tall man, and very niggardly and +abstemious." + +"That sort of uncle is a monster; he misappropriates existence." + +"Then," the speaker on uncles went on, "tell him, while he is digesting +it, that his banker has failed." + +"How if he bears up?" + +"Let loose a pretty girl on him." + +"And if----?" asked the other, with a shake of the head. + +"Then he wouldn't be an uncle--an uncle is a gay dog by nature." + +"Malibran has lost two notes in her voice." + +"No, sir, she has not." + +"Yes, sir, she has." + +"Oh, ho! No and yes, is not that the sum-up of all religious, political, +or literary dissertations? Man is a clown dancing on the edge of an +abyss." + +"You would make out that I am a fool." + +"On the contrary, you cannot make me out." + +"Education, there's a pretty piece of tomfoolery. M. Heineffettermach +estimates the number of printed volumes at more than a thousand +millions; and a man cannot read more than a hundred and fifty thousand +in his lifetime. So, just tell me what that word _education_ means. For +some it consists in knowing the name of Alexander's horse, of the dog +Berecillo, of the Seigneur d'Accords, and in ignorance of the man to +whom we owe the discovery of rafting and the manufacture of porcelain. +For others it is the knowledge how to burn a will and live respected, be +looked up to and popular, instead of stealing a watch with half-a-dozen +aggravating circumstances, after a previous conviction, and so +perishing, hated and dishonored, in the Place de Greve." + +"Will Nathan's work live?" + +"He has very clever collaborators, sir." + +"Or Canalis?" + +"He is a great man; let us say no more about him." + +"You are all drunk!" + +"The consequence of a Constitution is the immediate stultification of +intellects. Art, science, public works, everything, is consumed by a +horribly egoistic feeling, the leprosy of the time. Three hundred of +your bourgeoisie, set down on benches, will only think of planting +poplars. Tyranny does great things lawlessly, while Liberty will +scarcely trouble herself to do petty ones lawfully." + +"Your reciprocal instruction will turn out counters in human flesh," +broke in an Absolutist. "All individuality will disappear in a people +brought to a dead level by education." + +"For all that, is not the aim of society to secure happiness to each +member of it?" asked the Saint-Simonian. + +"If you had an income of fifty thousand livres, you would not think much +about the people. If you are smitten with a tender passion for the race, +go to Madagascar; there you will find a nice little nation all ready to +Saint-Simonize, classify, and cork up in your phials, but here every one +fits into his niche like a peg in a hole. A porter is a porter, and a +blockhead is a fool, without a college of fathers to promote them to +those positions." + +"You are a Carlist." + +"And why not? Despotism pleases me; it implies a certain contempt for +the human race. I have no animosity against kings, they are so amusing. +Is it nothing to sit enthroned in a room, at a distance of thirty +million leagues from the sun?" + +"Let us once more take a broad view of civilization," said the man of +learning who, for the benefit of the inattentive sculptor, had opened a +discussion on primitive society and autochthonous races. "The vigor of a +nation in its origin was in a way physical, unitary, and crude; then as +aggregations increased, government advanced by a decomposition of the +primitive rule, more or less skilfully managed. For example, in remote +ages national strength lay in theocracy, the priest held both sword and +censer; a little later there were two priests, the pontiff and the king. +To-day our society, the latest word of civilization, has distributed +power according to the number of combinations, and we come to the forces +called business, thought, money, and eloquence. Authority thus divided +is steadily approaching a social dissolution, with interest as its one +opposing barrier. We depend no longer on either religion or physical +force, but upon intellect. Can a book replace the sword? Can discussion +be a substitute for action? That is the question." + +"Intellect has made an end of everything," cried the Carlist. "Come now! +Absolute freedom has brought about national suicides; their triumph left +them as listless as an English millionaire." + +"Won't you tell us something new? You have made fun of authority of all +sorts to-day, which is every bit as vulgar as denying the existence of +God. So you have no belief left, and the century is like an old Sultan +worn out by debauchery! Your Byron, in short, sings of crime and its +emotions in a final despair of poetry." + +"Don't you know," replied Bianchon, quite drunk by this time, "that +a dose of phosphorus more or less makes the man of genius or the +scoundrel, a clever man or an idiot, a virtuous person or a criminal?" + +"Can any one treat of virtue thus?" cried Cursy. "Virtue, the subject of +every drama at the theatre, the denoument of every play, the foundation +of every court of law...." + +"Be quiet, you ass. You are an Achilles for virtue, without his heel," +said Bixiou. + +"Some drink!" + +"What will you bet that I will drink a bottle of champagne like a flash, +at one pull?" + +"What a flash of wit!" + +"Drunk as lords," muttered a young man gravely, trying to give some wine +to his waistcoat. + +"Yes, sir; real government is the art of ruling by public opinion." + +"Opinion? That is the most vicious jade of all. According to you +moralists and politicians, the laws you set up are always to go before +those of nature, and opinion before conscience. You are right and wrong +both. Suppose society bestows down pillows on us, that benefit is made +up for by the gout; and justice is likewise tempered by red-tape, and +colds accompany cashmere shawls." + +"Wretch!" Emile broke in upon the misanthrope, "how can you slander +civilization here at table, up to the eyes in wines and exquisite +dishes? Eat away at that roebuck with the gilded horns and feet, and do +not carp at your mother..." + +"Is it any fault of mine if Catholicism puts a million deities in a sack +of flour, that Republics will end in a Napoleon, that monarchy dwells +between the assassination of Henry IV. and the trial of Louis XVI., and +Liberalism produces Lafayettes?" + +"Didn't you embrace him in July?" + +"No." + +"Then hold your tongue, you sceptic." + +"Sceptics are the most conscientious of men." + +"They have no conscience." + +"What are you saying? They have two apiece at least!" + +"So you want to discount heaven, a thoroughly commercial notion. Ancient +religions were but the unchecked development of physical pleasure, but +we have developed a soul and expectations; some advance has been made." + +"What can you expect, my friends, of a century filled with politics +to repletion?" asked Nathan. "What befell _The History of the King of +Bohemia and his Seven Castles_, a most entrancing conception?..." + +"I say," the would-be critic cried down the whole length of the table. +"The phrases might have been drawn at hap-hazard from a hat, 'twas a +work written 'down to Charenton.'" + +"You are a fool!" + +"And you are a rogue!" + +"Oh! oh!" + +"Ah! ah!" + +"They are going to fight." + +"No, they aren't." + +"You will find me to-morrow, sir." + +"This very moment," Nathan answered. + +"Come, come, you pair of fire-eaters!" + +"You are another!" said the prime mover in the quarrel. + +"Ah, I can't stand upright, perhaps?" asked the pugnacious Nathan, +straightening himself up like a stag-beetle about to fly. + +He stared stupidly round the table, then, completely exhausted by the +effort, sank back into his chair, and mutely hung his head. + +"Would it not have been nice," the critic said to his neighbor, "to +fight about a book I have neither read nor seen?" + +"Emile, look out for your coat; your neighbor is growing pale," said +Bixiou. + +"Kant? Yet another ball flung out for fools to sport with, sir! +Materialism and spiritualism are a fine pair of battledores with which +charlatans in long gowns keep a shuttlecock a-going. Suppose that God +is everywhere, as Spinoza says, or that all things proceed from God, as +says St. Paul... the nincompoops, the door shuts or opens, but isn't the +movement the same? Does the fowl come from the egg, or the egg from the +fowl?... Just hand me some duck... and there, you have all science." + +"Simpleton!" cried the man of science, "your problem is settled by +fact!" + +"What fact?" + +"Professors' chairs were not made for philosophy, but philosophy for the +professors' chairs. Put on a pair of spectacles and read the budget." + +"Thieves!" + +"Nincompoops!" + +"Knaves!" + +"Gulls!" + +"Where but in Paris will you find such a ready and rapid exchange of +thought?" cried Bixiou in a deep, bass voice. + +"Bixiou! Act a classical farce for us! Come now." + +"Would you like me to depict the nineteenth century?" + +"Silence." + +"Pay attention." + +"Clap a muffle on your trumpets." + +"Shut up, you Turk!" + +"Give him some wine, and let that fellow keep quiet." + +"Now, then, Bixiou!" + +The artist buttoned his black coat to the collar, put on yellow gloves, +and began to burlesque the _Revue des Deux Mondes_ by acting a squinting +old lady; but the uproar drowned his voice, and no one heard a word of +the satire. Still, if he did not catch the spirit of the century, he +represented the _Revue_ at any rate, for his own intentions were not +very clear to him. + +Dessert was served as if by magic. A huge epergne of gilded bronze +from Thomire's studio overshadowed the table. Tall statuettes, which a +celebrated artist had endued with ideal beauty according to conventional +European notions, sustained and carried pyramids of strawberries, pines, +fresh dates, golden grapes, clear-skinned peaches, oranges brought +from Setubal by steamer, pomegranates, Chinese fruit; in short, all +the surprises of luxury, miracles of confectionery, the most tempting +dainties, and choicest delicacies. The coloring of this epicurean work +of art was enhanced by the splendors of porcelain, by sparkling outlines +of gold, by the chasing of the vases. Poussin's landscapes, copied +on Sevres ware, were crowned with graceful fringes of moss, green, +translucent, and fragile as ocean weeds. + +The revenue of a German prince would not have defrayed the cost of this +arrogant display. Silver and mother-of-pearl, gold and crystal, were +lavished afresh in new forms; but scarcely a vague idea of this almost +Oriental fairyland penetrated eyes now heavy with wine, or crossed the +delirium of intoxication. The fire and fragrance of the wines acted like +potent philters and magical fumes, producing a kind of mirage in the +brain, binding feet, and weighing down hands. The clamor increased. +Words were no longer distinct, glasses flew in pieces, senseless peals +of laughter broke out. Cursy snatched up a horn and struck up a flourish +on it. It acted like a signal given by the devil. Yells, hisses, songs, +cries, and groans went up from the maddened crew. You might have smiled +to see men, light-hearted by nature, grow tragical as Crebillon's +dramas, and pensive as a sailor in a coach. Hard-headed men blabbed +secrets to the inquisitive, who were long past heeding them. Saturnine +faces were wreathed in smiles worthy of a pirouetting dancer. Claude +Vignon shuffled about like a bear in a cage. Intimate friends began to +fight. + +Animal likenesses, so curiously traced by physiologists in human faces, +came out in gestures and behavior. A book lay open for a Bichat if he +had repaired thither fasting and collected. The master of the house, +knowing his condition, did not dare stir, but encouraged his guests' +extravangances with a fixed grimacing smile, meant to be hospitable and +appropriate. His large face, turning from blue and red to a purple shade +terrible to see, partook of the general commotion by movements like the +heaving and pitching of a brig. + +"Now, did you murder them?" Emile asked him. + +"Capital punishment is going to be abolished, they say, in favor of +the Revolution of July," answered Taillefer, raising his eyebrows with +drunken sagacity. + +"Don't they rise up before you in dreams at times?" Raphael persisted. + +"There's a statute of limitations," said the murderer-Croesus. + +"And on his tombstone," Emile began, with a sardonic laugh, "the +stonemason will carve 'Passer-by, accord a tear, in memory of one that's +here!' Oh," he continued, "I would cheerfully pay a hundred sous to +any mathematician who would prove the existence of hell to me by an +algebraical equation." + +He flung up a coin and cried: + +"Heads for the existence of God!" + +"Don't look!" Raphael cried, pouncing upon it. "Who knows? Suspense is +so pleasant." + +"Unluckily," Emile said, with burlesque melancholy, "I can see no +halting-place between the unbeliever's arithmetic and the papal _Pater +noster_. Pshaw! let us drink. _Trinq_ was, I believe, the oracular +answer of the _dive bouteille_ and the final conclusion of Pantagruel." + +"We owe our arts and monuments to the _Pater noster_, and our knowledge, +too, perhaps; and a still greater benefit--modern government--whereby a +vast and teeming society is wondrously represented by some five hundred +intellects. It neutralizes opposing forces and gives free play to +_Civilization_, that Titan queen who has succeeded the ancient terrible +figure of the _King_, that sham Providence, reared by man between +himself and heaven. In the face of such achievements, atheism seems like +a barren skeleton. What do you say?" + +"I am thinking of the seas of blood shed by Catholicism." Emile replied, +quite unimpressed. "It has drained our hearts and veins dry to make a +mimic deluge. No matter! Every man who thinks must range himself beneath +the banner of Christ, for He alone has consummated the triumph of spirit +over matter; He alone has revealed to us, like a poet, an intermediate +world that separates us from the Deity." + +"Believest thou?" asked Raphael with an unaccountable drunken smile. +"Very good; we must not commit ourselves; so we will drink the +celebrated toast, _Diis ignotis_!" + +And they drained the chalice filled up with science, carbonic acid gas, +perfumes, poetry, and incredulity. + +"If the gentlemen will go to the drawing-room, coffee is ready for +them," said the major-domo. + +There was scarcely one of those present whose mind was not floundering +by this time in the delights of chaos, where every spark of intelligence +is quenched, and the body, set free from its tyranny, gives itself up +to the frenetic joys of liberty. Some who had arrived at the apogee of +intoxication were dejected, as they painfully tried to arrest a single +thought which might assure them of their own existence; others, deep in +the heavy morasses of indigestion, denied the possibility of movement. +The noisy and the silent were oddly assorted. + +For all that, when new joys were announced to them by the stentorian +tones of the servant, who spoke on his master's behalf, they all rose, +leaning upon, dragging or carrying one another. But on the threshold +of the room the entire crew paused for a moment, motionless, as if +fascinated. The intemperate pleasures of the banquet seemed to fade away +at this titillating spectacle, prepared by their amphitryon to appeal to +the most sensual of their instincts. + +Beneath the shining wax-lights in a golden chandelier, round about a +table inlaid with gilded metal, a group of women, whose eyes shone +like diamonds, suddenly met the stupefied stare of the revelers. Their +toilettes were splendid, but less magnificent than their beauty, which +eclipsed the other marvels of this palace. A light shone from their +eyes, bewitching as those of sirens, more brilliant and ardent than the +blaze that streamed down upon the snowy marble, the delicately carved +surfaces of bronze, and lit up the satin sheen of the tapestry. The +contrasts of their attitudes and the slight movements of their heads, +each differing in character and nature of attraction, set the heart +afire. It was like a thicket, where blossoms mingled with rubies, +sapphires, and coral; a combination of gossamer scarves that flickered +like beacon-lights; of black ribbons about snowy throats; of gorgeous +turbans and demurely enticing apparel. It was a seraglio that appealed +to every eye, and fulfilled every fancy. Each form posed to admiration +was scarcely concealed by the folds of cashmere, and half hidden, half +revealed by transparent gauze and diaphanous silk. The little slender +feet were eloquent, though the fresh red lips uttered no sound. + +Demure and fragile-looking girls, pictures of maidenly innocence, with +a semblance of conventional unction about their heads, were there like +apparitions that a breath might dissipate. Aristocratic beauties with +haughty glances, languid, flexible, slender, and complaisant, bent their +heads as though there were royal protectors still in the market. An +English-woman seemed like a spirit of melancholy--some coy, pale, +shadowy form among Ossian's mists, or a type of remorse flying from +crime. The Parisienne was not wanting in all her beauty that consists +in an indescribable charm; armed with her irresistible weakness, vain of +her costume and her wit, pliant and hard, a heartless, passionless siren +that yet can create factitious treasures of passion and counterfeit +emotion. + +Italians shone in the throng, serene and self-possessed in their bliss; +handsome Normans, with splendid figures; women of the south, with black +hair and well-shaped eyes. Lebel might have summoned together all the +fair women of Versailles, who since morning had perfected all their +wiles, and now came like a troupe of Oriental women, bidden by the slave +merchant to be ready to set out at dawn. They stood disconcerted and +confused about the table, huddled together in a murmuring group +like bees in a hive. The combination of timid embarrassment with +coquettishness and a sort of expostulation was the result either of +calculated effect or a spontaneous modesty. Perhaps a sentiment of which +women are never utterly divested prescribed to them the cloak of modesty +to heighten and enhance the charms of wantonness. So the venerable +Taillefer's designs seemed on the point of collapse, for these unbridled +natures were subdued from the very first by the majesty with which woman +is invested. There was a murmur of admiration, which vibrated like a +soft musical note. Wine had not taken love for traveling companion; +instead of a violent tumult of passions, the guests thus taken by +surprise, in a moment of weakness, gave themselves up to luxurious +raptures of delight. + +Artists obeyed the voice of poetry which constrains them, and studied +with pleasure the different delicate tints of these chosen examples of +beauty. Sobered by a thought perhaps due to some emanation from a +bubble of carbonic acid in the champagne, a philosopher shuddered at the +misfortunes which had brought these women, once perhaps worthy of the +truest devotion, to this. Each one doubtless could have unfolded a cruel +tragedy. Infernal tortures followed in the train of most of them, and +they drew after them faithless men, broken vows, and pleasures atoned +for in wretchedness. Polite advances were made by the guests, and +conversations began, as varied in character as the speakers. They broke +up into groups. It might have been a fashionable drawing-room where +ladies and young girls offer after dinner the assistance that coffee, +liqueurs, and sugar afford to diners who are struggling in the toils +of a perverse digestion. But in a little while laughter broke out, +the murmur grew, and voices were raised. The saturnalia, subdued for a +moment, threatened at times to renew itself. The alternations of sound +and silence bore a distant resemblance to a symphony of Beethoven's. + +The two friends, seated on a silken divan, were first approached by +a tall, well-proportioned girl of stately bearing; her features were +irregular, but her face was striking and vehement in expression, and +impressed the mind by the vigor of its contrasts. Her dark hair fell +in luxuriant curls, with which some hand seemed to have played havoc +already, for the locks fell lightly over the splendid shoulders that +thus attracted attention. The long brown curls half hid her queenly +throat, though where the light fell upon it, the delicacy of its fine +outlines was revealed. Her warm and vivid coloring was set off by the +dead white of her complexion. Bold and ardent glances came from under +the long eyelashes; the damp, red, half-open lips challenged a kiss. Her +frame was strong but compliant; with a bust and arms strongly developed, +as in figures drawn by the Caracci, she yet seemed active and elastic, +with a panther's strength and suppleness, and in the same way the +energetic grace of her figure suggested fierce pleasures. + +But though she might romp perhaps and laugh, there was something +terrible in her eyes and her smile. Like a pythoness possessed by the +demon, she inspired awe rather than pleasure. All changes, one after +another, flashed like lightning over every mobile feature of her face. +She might captivate a jaded fancy, but a young man would have feared +her. She was like some colossal statue fallen from the height of a Greek +temple, so grand when seen afar, too roughly hewn to be seen anear. +And yet, in spite of all, her terrible beauty could have stimulated +exhaustion; her voice might charm the deaf; her glances might put life +into the bones of the dead; and therefore Emile was vaguely reminded of +one of Shakespeare's tragedies--a wonderful maze, in which joy +groans, and there is something wild even about love, and the magic of +forgiveness and the warmth of happiness succeed to cruel storms of rage. +She was a siren that can both kiss and devour; laugh like a devil, or +weep as angels can. She could concentrate in one instant all a woman's +powers of attraction in a single effort (the sighs of melancholy and +the charms of maiden's shyness alone excepted), then in a moment rise +in fury like a nation in revolt, and tear herself, her passion, and her +lover, in pieces. + +Dressed in red velvet, she trampled under her reckless feet the stray +flowers fallen from other heads, and held out a salver to the two +friends, with careless hands. The white arms stood out in bold relief +against the velvet. Proud of her beauty; proud (who knows?) of her +corruption, she stood like a queen of pleasure, like an incarnation of +enjoyment; the enjoyment that comes of squandering the accumulations of +three generations; that scoffs at its progenitors, and makes merry over +a corpse; that will dissolve pearls and wreck thrones, turn old men into +boys, and make young men prematurely old; enjoyment only possible to +giants weary of their power, tormented by reflection, or for whom strife +has become a plaything. + +"What is your name?" asked Raphael. + +"Aquilina." + +"Out of _Venice Preserved_!" exclaimed Emile. + +"Yes," she answered. "Just as a pope takes a new name when he is exalted +above all other men, I, too, took another name when I raised myself +above women's level." + +"Then have you, like your patron saint, a terrible and noble lover, a +conspirator, who would die for you?" cried Emile eagerly--this gleam of +poetry had aroused his interest. + +"Once I had," she answered. "But I had a rival too in La Guillotine. I +have worn something red about me ever since, lest any happiness should +carry me away." + +"Oh, if you are going to get her on to the story of those four lads +of La Rochelle, she will never get to the end of it. That's enough, +Aquilina. As if every woman could not bewail some lover or other, though +not every one has the luck to lose him on the scaffold, as you have +done. I would a great deal sooner see a lover of mine in a trench at the +back of Clamart than in a rival's arms." + +All this in the gentlest and most melodious accents, and pronounced by +the prettiest, gentlest, and most innocent-looking little person that +a fairy wand ever drew from an enchanted eggshell. She had come +up noiselessly, and they became aware of a slender, dainty figure, +charmingly timid blue eyes, and white transparent brows. No ingenue +among the naiads, a truant from her river spring, could have been shyer, +whiter, more ingenuous than this young girl, seemingly about sixteen +years old, ignorant of evil and of the storms of life, and fresh from +some church in which she must have prayed the angels to call her to +heaven before the time. Only in Paris are such natures as this to be +found, concealing depths of depravity behind a fair mask, and the most +artificial vices beneath a brow as young and fair as an opening flower. + +At first the angelic promise of those soft lineaments misled the +friends. Raphael and Emile took the coffee which she poured into the +cups brought by Aquilina, and began to talk with her. In the eyes of the +two poets she soon became transformed into some sombre allegory, of +I know not what aspect of human life. She opposed to the vigorous +and ardent expression of her commanding acquaintance a revelation +of heartless corruption and voluptuous cruelty. Heedless enough to +perpetrate a crime, hardy enough to feel no misgivings; a pitiless demon +that wrings larger and kinder natures with torments that it is incapable +of knowing, that simpers over a traffic in love, sheds tears over a +victim's funeral, and beams with joy over the reading of the will. +A poet might have admired the magnificent Aquilina; but the winning +Euphrasia must be repulsive to every one--the first was the soul of sin; +the second, sin without a soul in it. + +"I should dearly like to know," Emile remarked to this pleasing being, +"if you ever reflect upon your future?" + +"My future!" she answered with a laugh. "What do you mean by my future? +Why should I think about something that does not exist as yet? I never +look before or behind. Isn't one day at a time more than I can concern +myself with as it is? And besides, the future, as we know, means the +hospital." + +"How can you forsee a future in the hospital, and make no effort to +avert it?" + +"What is there so alarming about the hospital?" asked the terrific +Aquilina. "When we are neither wives nor mothers, when old age draws +black stockings over our limbs, sets wrinkles on our brows, withers up +the woman in us, and darkens the light in our lover's eyes, what could +we need when that comes to pass? You would look on us then as mere +human clay; we with our habiliments shall be for you like so much +mud--worthless, lifeless, crumbling to pieces, going about with the +rustle of dead leaves. Rags or the daintiest finery will be as one to us +then; the ambergris of the boudoir will breathe an odor of death and dry +bones; and suppose there is a heart there in that mud, not one of you +but would make mock of it, not so much as a memory will you spare to +us. Is not our existence precisely the same whether we live in a fine +mansion with lap-dogs to tend, or sort rags in a workhouse? Does it make +much difference whether we shall hide our gray heads beneath lace or a +handkerchief striped with blue and red; whether we sweep a crossing with +a birch broom, or the steps of the Tuileries with satins; whether we sit +beside a gilded hearth, or cower over the ashes in a red earthen pot; +whether we go to the Opera or look on in the Place de Greve?" + +"_Aquilina mia_, you have never shown more sense than in this depressing +fit of yours," Euphrasia remarked. "Yes, cashmere, _point d'Alencon_, +perfumes, gold, silks, luxury, everything that sparkles, everything +pleasant, belongs to youth alone. Time alone may show us our folly, but +good fortune will acquit us. You are laughing at me," she went on, with +a malicious glance at the friends; "but am I not right? I would sooner +die of pleasure than of illness. I am not afflicted with a mania for +perpetuity, nor have I a great veneration for human nature, such as God +has made it. Give me millions, and I would squander them; I should not +keep one centime for the year to come. Live to be charming and have +power, that is the decree of my every heartbeat. Society sanctions my +life; does it not pay for my extravagances? Why does Providence pay me +every morning my income, which I spend every evening? Why are hospitals +built for us? And Providence did not put good and evil on either hand +for us to select what tires and pains us. I should be very foolish if I +did not amuse myself." + +"And how about others?" asked Emile. + +"Others? Oh, well, they must manage for themselves. I prefer laughing +at their woes to weeping over my own. I defy any man to give me the +slightest uneasiness." + +"What have you suffered to make you think like this?" asked Raphael. + +"I myself have been forsaken for an inheritance," she said, striking an +attitude that displayed all her charms; "and yet I had worked night and +day to keep my lover! I am not to be gulled by any smile or vow, and I +have set myself to make one long entertainment of my life." + +"But does not happiness come from the soul within?" cried Raphael. + +"It may be so," Aquilina answered; "but is it nothing to be conscious of +admiration and flattery; to triumph over other women, even over the most +virtuous, humiliating them before our beauty and our splendor? Not only +so; one day of our life is worth ten years of a bourgeoise existence, +and so it is all summed up." + +"Is not a woman hateful without virtue?" Emile said to Raphael. + +Euphrasia's glance was like a viper's, as she said, with an irony in her +voice that cannot be rendered: + +"Virtue! we leave that to deformity and to ugly women. What would the +poor things be without it?" + +"Hush, be quiet," Emile broke in. "Don't talk about something you have +never known." + +"That I have never known!" Euphrasia answered. "You give yourself for +life to some person you abominate; you must bring up children who will +neglect you, who wound your very heart, and you must say, 'Thank you!' +for it; and these are the virtues you prescribe to woman. And that is +not enough. By way of requiting her self-denial, you must come and +add to her sorrows by trying to lead her astray; and though you are +rebuffed, she is compromised. A nice life! How far better to keep one's +freedom, to follow one's inclinations in love, and die young!" + +"Have you no fear of the price to be paid some day for all this?" + +"Even then," she said, "instead of mingling pleasures and troubles, my +life will consist of two separate parts--a youth of happiness is secure, +and there may come a hazy, uncertain old age, during which I can suffer +at my leisure." + +"She has never loved," came in the deep tones of Aquilina's voice. "She +never went a hundred leagues to drink in one look and a denial with +untold raptures. She has not hung her own life on a thread, nor tried +to stab more than one man to save her sovereign lord, her king, her +divinity.... Love, for her, meant a fascinating colonel." + +"Here she is with her La Rochelle," Euphrasia made answer. "Love comes +like the wind, no one knows whence. And, for that matter, if one of +those brutes had once fallen in love with you, you would hold sensible +men in horror." + +"Brutes are put out of the question by the Code," said the tall, +sarcastic Aquilina. + +"I thought you had more kindness for the army," laughed Euphrasia. + +"How happy they are in their power of dethroning their reason in this +way," Raphael exclaimed. + +"Happy?" asked Aquilina, with dreadful look, and a smile full of pity +and terror. "Ah, you do not know what it is to be condemned to a life of +pleasure, with your dead hidden in your heart...." + +A moment's consideration of the rooms was like a foretaste of Milton's +Pandemonium. The faces of those still capable of drinking wore a hideous +blue tint, from burning draughts of punch. Mad dances were kept up with +wild energy; excited laughter and outcries broke out like the explosion +of fireworks. The boudoir and a small adjoining room were strewn like +a battlefield with the insensible and incapable. Wine, pleasure, +and dispute had heated the atmosphere. Wine and love, delirium and +unconsciousness possessed them, and were written upon all faces, upon +the furniture; were expressed by the surrounding disorder, and brought +light films over the vision of those assembled, so that the air seemed +full of intoxicating vapor. A glittering dust arose, as in the luminous +paths made by a ray of sunlight, the most bizarre forms flitted through +it, grotesque struggles were seen athwart it. Groups of interlaced +figures blended with the white marbles, the noble masterpieces of +sculpture that adorned the rooms. + +Though the two friends yet preserved a sort of fallacious clearness +in their ideas and voices, a feeble appearance and faint thrill of +animation, it was yet almost impossible to distinguish what was real +among the fantastic absurdities before them, or what foundation there +was for the impossible pictures that passed unceasingly before their +weary eyes. The strangest phenomena of dreams beset them, the lowering +heavens, the fervid sweetness caught by faces in our visions, and +unheard-of agility under a load of chains,--all these so vividly, that +they took the pranks of the orgy about them for the freaks of some +nightmare in which all movement is silent, and cries never reach +the ear. The valet de chambre succeeded just then, after some little +difficulty, in drawing his master into the ante-chamber to whisper to +him: + +"The neighbors are all at their windows, complaining of the racket, +sir." + +"If noise alarms them, why don't they lay down straw before their +doors?" was Taillefer's rejoinder. + +Raphael's sudden burst of laughter was so unseasonable and abrupt, that +his friend demanded the reason of his unseemly hilarity. + +"You will hardly understand me," he replied. "In the first place, I must +admit that you stopped me on the Quai Voltaire just as I was about to +throw myself into the Seine, and you would like to know, no doubt, my +motives for dying. And when I proceed to tell you that by an almost +miraculous chance the most poetic memorials of the material world had +but just then been summed up for me as a symbolical interpretation of +human wisdom; whilst at this minute the remains of all the intellectual +treasures ravaged by us at table are comprised in these two women, the +living and authentic types of folly, would you be any the wiser? Our +profound apathy towards men and things supplied the half-tones in a +crudely contrasted picture of two theories of life so diametrically +opposed. If you were not drunk, you might perhaps catch a gleam of +philosophy in this." + +"And if you had not both feet on that fascinating Aquilina, whose +heavy breathing suggests an analogy with the sounds of a storm about +to burst," replied Emile, absently engaged in the harmless amusement of +winding and unwinding Euphrasia's hair, "you would be ashamed of your +inebriated garrulity. Both your systems can be packed in a phrase, and +reduced to a single idea. The mere routine of living brings a stupid +kind of wisdom with it, by blunting our intelligence with work; and on +the other hand, a life passed in the limbo of the abstract or in the +abysses of the moral world, produces a sort of wisdom run mad. The +conditions may be summed up in brief; we may extinguish emotion, and so +live to old age, or we may choose to die young as martyrs to contending +passions. And yet this decree is at variance with the temperaments with +which we were endowed by the bitter jester who modeled all creatures." + +"Idiot!" Raphael burst in. "Go on epitomizing yourself after that +fashion, and you will fill volumes. If I attempted to formulate those +two ideas clearly, I might as well say that man is corrupted by the +exercise of his wits, and purified by ignorance. You are calling the +whole fabric of society to account. But whether we live with the wise +or perish with the fool, isn't the result the same sooner or later? And +have not the prime constituents of the quintessence of both systems been +before expressed in a couple of words--_Carymary_, _Carymara_." + +"You make me doubt the existence of a God, for your stupidity is greater +than His power," said Emile. "Our beloved Rabelais summed it all up in +a shorter word than your '_Carymary_, _Carymara_'; from his _Peut-etre_ +Montaigne derived his own _Que sais-je_? After all, this last word of +moral science is scarcely more than the cry of Pyrrhus set betwixt good +and evil, or Buridan's ass between the two measures of oats. But let +this everlasting question alone, resolved to-day by a 'Yes' and a 'No.' +What experience did you look to find by a jump into the Seine? Were you +jealous of the hydraulic machine on the Pont Notre Dame?" + +"Ah, if you but knew my history!" + +"Pooh," said Emile; "I did not think you could be so commonplace; that +remark is hackneyed. Don't you know that every one of us claims to have +suffered as no other ever did?" + +"Ah!" Raphael sighed. + +"What a mountebank art thou with thy 'Ah'! Look here, now. Does some +disease of the mind or body, by contracting your muscles, bring back +of a morning the wild horses that tear you in pieces at night, as with +Damiens once upon a time? Were you driven to sup off your own dog in a +garret, uncooked and without salt? Have your children ever cried, 'I am +hungry'? Have you sold your mistress' hair to hazard the money at play? +Have you ever drawn a sham bill of exchange on a fictitious uncle at a +sham address, and feared lest you should not be in time to take it up? +Come now, I am attending! If you were going to drown yourself for some +woman, or by way of a protest, or out of sheer dulness, I disown you. +Make your confession, and no lies! I don't at all want a historical +memoir. And, above all things, be as concise as your clouded intellect +permits; I am as critical as a professor, and as sleepy as a woman at +her vespers." + +"You silly fool!" said Raphael. "When has not suffering been keener for +a more susceptible nature? Some day when science has attained to a pitch +that enables us to study the natural history of hearts, when they +are named and classified in genera, sub-genera, and families; into +crustaceae, fossils, saurians, infusoria, or whatever it is,--then, my +dear fellow, it will be ascertained that there are natures as tender +and fragile as flowers, that are broken by the slight bruises that some +stony hearts do not even feel----" + +"For pity's sake, spare me thy exordium," said Emile, as, half +plaintive, half amused, he took Raphael's hand. + + + + +II. A WOMAN WITHOUT A HEART + + +After a moment's silence, Raphael said with a careless gesture: + +"Perhaps it is an effect of the fumes of punch--I really cannot +tell--this clearness of mind that enables me to comprise my whole +life in a single picture, where figures and hues, lights, shades, and +half-tones are faithfully rendered. I should not have been so surprised +at this poetical play of imagination if it were not accompanied with +a sort of scorn for my past joys and sorrows. Seen from afar, my life +appears to contract by some mental process. That long, slow agony of ten +years' duration can be brought to memory to-day in some few phrases, +in which pain is resolved into a mere idea, and pleasure becomes +a philosophical reflection. Instead of feeling things, I weigh and +consider them----" + +"You are as tiresome as the explanation of an amendment," cried Emile. + +"Very likely," said Raphael submissively. "I spare you the first +seventeen years of my life for fear of abusing a listener's patience. +Till that time, like you and thousands of others, I had lived my life +at school or the lycee, with its imaginary troubles and genuine +happinesses, which are so pleasant to look back upon. Our jaded palates +still crave for that Lenten fare, so long as we have not tried it +afresh. It was a pleasant life, with the tasks that we thought so +contemptible, but which taught us application for all that...." + +"Let the drama begin," said Emile, half-plaintively, half-comically. + +"When I left school," Raphael went on, with a gesture that claimed the +right of speaking, "my father submitted me to a strict discipline; he +installed me in a room near his own study, and I had to rise at five in +the morning and be in bed by nine at night. He meant me to take my law +studies seriously. I attended the Schools, and read with an advocate +as well, but my lectures and work were so narrowly circumscribed by the +laws of time and space, and my father required such a strict account of +my doings, at dinner, that..." + +"What is this to me?" asked Emile. + +"The devil take you!" said Raphael. "How are you to enter into my +feelings if I do not relate the facts that insensibly shaped my +character, made me timid, and prolonged the period of youthful +simplicity? In this manner I cowered under as strict a despotism as a +monarch's till I came of age. To depict the tedium of my life, it will +be perhaps enough to portray my father to you. He was tall, thin, and +slight, with a hatchet face, and pale complexion; a man of few words, +fidgety as an old maid, exacting as a senior clerk. His paternal +solicitude hovered over my merriment and gleeful thoughts, and seemed to +cover them with a leaden pall. Any effusive demonstration on my part was +received by him as a childish absurdity. I was far more afraid of him +than I had been of any of our masters at school. + +"I seem to see him before me at this moment. In his chestnut-brown +frock-coat he looked like a red herring wrapped up in the cover of a +pamphlet, and he held himself as erect as an Easter candle. But I was +fond of my father, and at heart he was right enough. Perhaps we never +hate severity when it has its source in greatness of character and pure +morals, and is skilfully tempered with kindness. My father, it is true, +never left me a moment to myself, and only when I was twenty years +old gave me so much as ten francs of my own, ten knavish prodigals +of francs, such a hoard as I had long vainly desired, which set me +a-dreaming of unutterable felicity; yet, for all that he sought to +procure relaxations for me. When he had promised me a treat beforehand, +he would take me to Les Boufoons, or to a concert or ball, where I hoped +to find a mistress.... A mistress! that meant independence. But bashful +and timid as I was, knowing nobody, and ignorant of the dialect of +drawing-rooms, I always came back as awkward as ever, and swelling with +unsatisfied desires, to be put in harness like a troop horse next day +by my father, and to return with morning to my advocate, the Palais de +Justice, and the law. To have swerved from the straight course which my +father had mapped out for me, would have drawn down his wrath upon me; +at my first delinquency, he threatened to ship me off as a cabin-boy +to the Antilles. A dreadful shiver ran through me if I had ventured to +spend a couple of hours in some pleasure party. + +"Imagine the most wandering imagination and passionate temperament, the +tenderest soul and most artistic nature, dwelling continually in the +presence of the most flint-hearted, atrabilious, and frigid man on +earth; think of me as a young girl married to a skeleton, and you will +understand the life whose curious scenes can only be a hearsay tale to +you; the plans for running away that perished at the sight of my father, +the despair soothed by slumber, the dark broodings charmed away by +music. I breathed my sorrows forth in melodies. Beethoven or Mozart +would keep my confidences sacred. Nowadays, I smile at recollections of +the scruples which burdened my conscience at that epoch of innocence and +virtue. + +"If I set foot in a restaurant, I gave myself up for lost; my fancy +led me to look on a cafe as a disreputable haunt, where men lost their +characters and embarrassed their fortunes; as for engaging in play, I +had not the money to risk. Oh, if I needed to send you to sleep, I would +tell you about one of the most frightful pleasures of my life, one of +those pleasures with fangs that bury themselves in the heart as the +branding-iron enters the convict's shoulder. I was at a ball at the +house of the Duc de Navarreins, my father's cousin. But to make +my position the more perfectly clear, you must know that I wore a +threadbare coat, ill-fitting shoes, a tie fit for a stableman, and a +soiled pair of gloves. I shrank into a corner to eat ices and watch +the pretty faces at my leisure. My father noticed me. Actuated by +some motive that I did not fathom, so dumfounded was I by this act of +confidence, he handed me his keys and purse to keep. Ten paces away some +men were gambling. I heard the rattling of gold; I was twenty years old; +I longed to be steeped for one whole day in the follies of my time of +life. It was a license of the imagination that would find a parallel +neither in the freaks of courtesans, nor in the dreams of young girls. +For a year past I had beheld myself well dressed, in a carriage, with +a pretty woman by my side, playing the great lord, dining at Very's, +deciding not to go back home till the morrow; but was prepared for my +father with a plot more intricate than the Marriage of Figaro, which +he could not possibly have unraveled. All this bliss would cost, I +estimated, fifty crowns. Was it not the artless idea of playing truant +that still had charms for me? + +"I went into a small adjoining room, and when alone counted my father's +money with smarting eyes and trembling fingers--a hundred crowns! The +joys of my escapade rose before me at the thought of the amount; joys +that flitted about me like Macbeth's witches round their caldron; +joys how alluring! how thrilling! how delicious! I became a deliberate +rascal. I heeded neither my tingling ears nor the violent beating of my +heart, but took out two twenty-franc pieces that I seem to see yet. The +dates had been erased, and Bonaparte's head simpered upon them. After I +had put back the purse in my pocket, I returned to the gaming-table with +the two pieces of gold in the palms of my damp hands, prowling about +the players like a sparrow-hawk round a coop of chickens. Tormented by +inexpressible terror, I flung a sudden clairvoyant glance round me, and +feeling quite sure that I was seen by none of my acquaintance, betted on +a stout, jovial little man, heaping upon his head more prayers and +vows than are put up during two or three storms at sea. Then, with an +intuitive scoundrelism, or Machiavelism, surprising in one of my age, I +went and stood in the door, and looked about me in the rooms, though +I saw nothing; for both mind and eyes hovered about that fateful green +cloth. + +"That evening fixes the date of a first observation of a physiological +kind; to it I owe a kind of insight into certain mysteries of our double +nature that I have since been enabled to penetrate. I had my back turned +on the table where my future felicity lay at stake, a felicity but so +much the more intense that it was criminal. Between me and the players +stood a wall of onlookers some five feet deep, who were chatting; the +murmur of voices drowned the clinking of gold, which mingled in +the sounds sent up by this orchestra; yet, despite all obstacles, I +distinctly heard the words of the two players by a gift accorded to the +passions, which enables them to annihilate time and space. I saw the +points they made; I knew which of the two turned up the king as well as +if I had actually seen the cards; at a distance of ten paces, in short, +the fortunes of play blanched my face. + +"My father suddenly went by, and then I knew what the Scripture meant by +'The Spirit of God passed before his face.' I had won. I slipped through +the crowd of men who had gathered about the players with the quickness +of an eel escaping through a broken mesh in a net. My nerves thrilled +with joy instead of anguish. I felt like some criminal on the way to +torture released by a chance meeting with the king. It happened that a +man with a decoration found himself short by forty francs. Uneasy eyes +suspected me; I turned pale, and drops of perspiration stood on my +forehead, I was well punished, I thought, for having robbed my father. +Then the kind little stout man said, in a voice like an angel's surely, +'All these gentlemen have paid their stakes,' and put down the forty +francs himself. I raised my head in triumph upon the players. After I +had returned the money I had taken from it to my father's purse, I left +my winnings with that honest and worthy gentleman, who continued to win. +As soon as I found myself possessed of a hundred and sixty francs, I +wrapped them up in my handkerchief, so that they could neither move or +rattle on the way back; and I played no more. + +"'What were you doing at the card-table?' said my father as we stepped +into the carriage. + +"'I was looking on,' I answered, trembling. + +"'But it would have been nothing out of the common if you had been +prompted by self-love to put some money down on the table. In the eyes +of men of the world you are quite old enough to assume the right to +commit such follies. So I should have pardoned you, Raphael, if you had +made use of my purse.....' + +"I did not answer. When we reached home, I returned the keys and money +to my father. As he entered his study, he emptied out his purse on the +mantelpiece, counted the money, and turned to me with a kindly look, +saying with more or less long and significant pauses between each +phrase: + +"'My boy, you are very nearly twenty now. I am satisfied with you. You +ought to have an allowance, if only to teach you how to lay it out, and +to gain some acquaintance with everyday business. Henceforward I shall +let you have a hundred francs each month. Here is your first quarter's +income for this year,' he added, fingering a pile of gold, as if to make +sure that the amount was correct. 'Do what you please with it.' + +"I confess that I was ready to fling myself at his feet, to tell him +that I was a thief, a scoundrel, and, worse than all, a liar! But a +feeling of shame held me back. I went up to him for an embrace, but he +gently pushed me away. + +"'You are a man now, _my child_,' he said. 'What I have just done was a +very proper and simple thing, for which there is no need to thank me. If +I have any claim to your gratitude, Raphael,' he went on, in a kind but +dignified way, 'it is because I have preserved your youth from the evils +that destroy young men in Paris. We will be two friends henceforth. In +a year's time you will be a doctor of law. Not without some hardship and +privations you have acquired the sound knowledge and the love of, and +application to, work that is indispensable to public men. You must +learn to know me, Raphael. I do not want to make either an advocate or +a notary of you, but a statesman, who shall be the pride of our poor +house.... Good-night,' he added. + +"From that day my father took me fully into confidence. I was an only +son; and ten years before, I had lost my mother. In time past my father, +the head of a historic family remembered even now in Auvergne, had come +to Paris to fight against his evil star, dissatisfied at the prospect +of tilling the soil, with his useless sword by his side. He was endowed +with the shrewdness that gives the men of the south of France a certain +ascendency when energy goes with it. Almost unaided, he made a position +for himself near the fountain of power. The revolution brought a reverse +of fortune, but he had managed to marry an heiress of good family, and, +in the time of the Empire, appeared to be on the point of restoring to +our house its ancient splendor. + +"The Restoration, while it brought back considerable property to my +mother, was my father's ruin. He had formerly purchased several estates +abroad, conferred by the Emperor on his generals; and now for ten years +he struggled with liquidators, diplomatists, and Prussian and Bavarian +courts of law, over the disputed possession of these unfortunate +endowments. My father plunged me into the intricate labyrinths of law +proceedings on which our future depended. We might be compelled to +return the rents, as well as the proceeds arising from sales of timber +made during the years 1814 to 1817; in that case my mother's property +would have barely saved our credit. So it fell out that the day on which +my father in a fashion emancipated me, brought me under a most galling +yoke. I entered on a conflict like a battlefield; I must work day and +night; seek interviews with statesmen, surprise their convictions, try +to interest them in our affairs, and gain them over, with their wives +and servants, and their very dogs; and all this abominable business had +to take the form of pretty speeches and polite attentions. Then I knew +the mortifications that had left their blighting traces on my father's +face. For about a year I led outwardly the life of a man of the world, +but enormous labors lay beneath the surface of gadding about, and eager +efforts to attach myself to influential kinsmen, or to people likely +to be useful to us. My relaxations were lawsuits, and memorials still +furnished the staple of my conversation. Hitherto my life had been +blameless, from the sheer impossibility of indulging the desires of +youth; but now I became my own master, and in dread of involving us both +in ruin by some piece of negligence, I did not dare to allow myself any +pleasure or expenditure. + +"While we are young, and before the world has rubbed off the delicate +bloom from our sentiments, the freshness of our impressions, the noble +purity of conscience which will never allow us to palter with evil, +the sense of duty is very strong within us, the voice of honor clamors +within us, and we are open and straightforward. At that time I was all +these things. I wished to justify my father's confidence in me. But +lately I would have stolen a paltry sum from him, with secret delight; +but now that I shared the burden of his affairs, of his name and of his +house, I would secretly have given up my fortune and my hopes for +him, as I was sacrificing my pleasures, and even have been glad of the +sacrifice! So when M. de Villele exhumed, for our special benefit, an +imperial decree concerning forfeitures, and had ruined us, I authorized +the sale of my property, only retaining an island in the middle of +the Loire where my mother was buried. Perhaps arguments and evasions, +philosophical, philanthropic, and political considerations would not +fail me now, to hinder the perpetration of what my solicitor termed +a 'folly'; but at one-and-twenty, I repeat, we are all aglow with +generosity and affection. The tears that stood in my father's eyes were +to me the most splendid of fortunes, and the thought of those tears has +often soothed my sorrow. Ten months after he had paid his creditors, my +father died of grief; I was his idol, and he had ruined me! The thought +killed him. Towards the end of the autumn of 1826, at the age of +twenty-two, I was the sole mourner at his graveside--the grave of my +father and my earliest friend. Not many young men have found themselves +alone with their thoughts as they followed a hearse, or have seen +themselves lost in crowded Paris, and without money or prospects. +Orphans rescued by public charity have at any rate the future of the +battlefield before them, and find a shelter in some institution and a +father in the government or in the _procureur du roi_. I had nothing. + +"Three months later, an agent made over to me eleven hundred and twelve +francs, the net proceeds of the winding up of my father's affairs. Our +creditors had driven us to sell our furniture. From my childhood I had +been used to set a high value on the articles of luxury about us, and +I could not help showing my astonishment at the sight of this meagre +balance. + +"'Oh, rococo, all of it!' said the auctioneer. A terrible word that fell +like a blight on the sacred memories of my childhood, and dispelled my +earliest illusions, the dearest of all. My entire fortune was comprised +in this 'account rendered,' my future lay in a linen bag with eleven +hundred and twelve francs in it, human society stood before me in the +person of an auctioneer's clerk, who kept his hat on while he spoke. +Jonathan, an old servant who was much attached to me, and whom my mother +had formerly pensioned with an annuity of four hundred francs, spoke to +me as I was leaving the house that I had so often gaily left for a drive +in my childhood. + +"'Be very economical, Monsieur Raphael!' + +"The good fellow was crying. + +"Such were the events, dear Emile, that ruled my destinies, moulded my +character, and set me, while still young, in an utterly false social +position," said Raphael after a pause. "Family ties, weak ones, it is +true, bound me to a few wealthy houses, but my own pride would have kept +me aloof from them if contempt and indifference had not shut their +doors on me in the first place. I was related to people who were very +influential, and who lavished their patronage on strangers; but I found +neither relations nor patrons in them. Continually circumscribed in my +affections, they recoiled upon me. Unreserved and simple by nature, I +must have appeared frigid and sophisticated. My father's discipline had +destroyed all confidence in myself. I was shy and awkward; I could not +believe that my opinion carried any weight whatever; I took no pleasure +in myself; I thought myself ugly, and was ashamed to meet my own +eyes. In spite of the inward voice that must be the stay of a man with +anything in him, in all his struggles, the voice that cries, 'Courage! +Go forward!' in spite of sudden revelations of my own strength in my +solitude; in spite of the hopes that thrilled me as I compared new +works, that the public admired so much, with the schemes that hovered in +my brain,--in spite of all this, I had a childish mistrust of myself. + +"An overweening ambition preyed upon me; I believed that I was meant for +great things, and yet I felt myself to be nothing. I had need of other +men, and I was friendless. I found I must make my way in the world, +where I was quite alone, and bashful, rather than afraid. + +"All through the year in which, by my father's wish, I threw myself into +the whirlpool of fashionable society, I came away with an inexperienced +heart, and fresh in mind. Like every grown child, I sighed in secret for +a love affair. I met, among young men of my own age, a set of swaggerers +who held their heads high, and talked about trifles as they seated +themselves without a tremor beside women who inspired awe in me. They +chattered nonsense, sucked the heads of their canes, gave themselves +affected airs, appropriated the fairest women, and laid, or pretended +that they had laid their heads on every pillow. Pleasure, seemingly, was +at their beck and call; they looked on the most virtuous and prudish as +an easy prey, ready to surrender at a word, at the slightest impudent +gesture or insolent look. I declare, on my soul and conscience, that the +attainment of power, or of a great name in literature, seemed to me an +easier victory than a success with some young, witty, and gracious lady +of high degree. + +"So I found the tumult of my heart, my feelings, and my creeds all at +variance with the axioms of society. I had plenty of audacity in my +character, but none in my manner. Later, I found out that women did +not like to be implored. I have from afar adored many a one to whom I +devoted a soul proof against all tests, a heart to break, energy that +shrank from no sacrifice and from no torture; _they_ accepted fools +whom I would not have engaged as hall porters. How often, mute and +motionless, have I not admired the lady of my dreams, swaying in the +dance; given up my life in thought to one eternal caress, expressed all +my hopes in a look, and laid before her, in my rapture, a young man's +love, which should outstrip all fables. At some moments I was ready to +barter my whole life for one single night. Well, as I could never find a +listener for my impassioned proposals, eyes to rest my own upon, a heart +made for my heart, I lived on in all the sufferings of impotent +force that consumes itself; lacking either opportunity or courage or +experience. I despaired, maybe, of making myself understood, or I feared +to be understood but too well; and yet the storm within me was ready to +burst at every chance courteous look. In spite of my readiness to take +the semblance of interest in look or word for a tenderer solicitude, +I dared neither to speak nor to be silent seasonably. My words grew +insignificant, and my silence stupid, by sheer stress of emotion. I was +too ingenuous, no doubt, for that artificial life, led by candle-light, +where every thought is expressed in conventional phrases, or by words +that fashion dictates; and not only so, I had not learned how to employ +speech that says nothing, and silence that says a great deal. In short, +I concealed the fires that consumed me, and with such a soul as women +wish to find, with all the elevation of soul that they long for, and +a mettle that fools plume themselves upon, all women have been cruelly +treacherous to me. + +"So in my simplicity I admired the heroes of this set when they bragged +about their conquests, and never suspected them of lying. No doubt it +was a mistake to wish for a love that springs for a word's sake; to +expect to find in the heart of a vain, frivolous woman, greedy for +luxury and intoxicated with vanity, the great sea of passion that surged +tempestuously in my own breast. Oh! to feel that you were born to love, +to make some woman's happiness, and yet to find not one, not even a +noble and courageous Marceline, not so much as an old Marquise! Oh! +to carry a treasure in your wallet, and not find even some child, or +inquisitive young girl, to admire it! In my despair I often wished to +kill myself." + +"Finely tragical to-night!" cried Emile. + +"Let me pass sentence on my life," Raphael answered. "If your friendship +is not strong enough to bear with my elegy, if you cannot put up with +half an hour's tedium for my sake, go to sleep! But, then, never ask +again for the reason of suicide that hangs over me, that comes nearer +and calls to me, that I bow myself before. If you are to judge a man, +you must know his secret thoughts, sorrows, and feelings; to know +merely the outward events of a man's life would only serve to make a +chronological table--a fool's notion of history." + +Emile was so much struck with the bitter tones in which these words were +spoken, that he began to pay close attention to Raphael, whom he watched +with a bewildered expression. + +"Now," continued the speaker, "all these things that befell me appear in +a new light. The sequence of events that I once thought so unfortunate +created the splendid powers of which, later, I became so proud. If I may +believe you, I possess the power of readily expressing my thoughts, and +I could take a forward place in the great field of knowledge; and is not +this the result of scientific curiosity, of excessive application, and +a love of reading which possessed me from the age of seven till my entry +on life? The very neglect in which I was left, and the consequent habits +of self-repression and self-concentration; did not these things teach me +how to consider and reflect? Nothing in me was squandered in obedience +to the exactions of the world, which humble the proudest soul and +reduce it to a mere husk; and was it not this very fact that refined the +emotional part of my nature till it became the perfected instrument of +a loftier purpose than passionate desires? I remember watching the women +who mistook me with all the insight of contemned love. + +"I can see now that my natural sincerity must have been displeasing to +them; women, perhaps, even require a little hypocrisy. And I, who in +the same hour's space am alternately a man and a child, frivolous and +thoughtful, free from bias and brimful of superstition, and oftentimes +myself as much a woman as any of them; how should they do otherwise than +take my simplicity for cynicism, my innocent candor for impudence? They +found my knowledge tiresome; my feminine languor, weakness. I was held +to be listless and incapable of love or of steady purpose; a too active +imagination, that curse of poets, was no doubt the cause. My silence was +idiotic; and as I daresay I alarmed them by my efforts to please, women +one and all have condemned me. With tears and mortification, I bowed +before the decision of the world; but my distress was not barren. I +determined to revenge myself on society; I would dominate the feminine +intellect, and so have the feminine soul at my mercy; all eyes should +be fixed upon me, when the servant at the door announced my name. I had +determined from my childhood that I would be a great man; I said with +Andre Chenier, as I struck my forehead, 'There is something underneath +that!' I felt, I believed, the thought within me that I must express, +the system I must establish, the knowledge I must interpret. + +"Let me pour out my follies, dear Emile; to-day I am barely twenty-six +years old, certain of dying unrecognized, and I have never been the +lover of the woman I dreamed of possessing. Have we not all of us, more +or less, believed in the reality of a thing because we wished it? I +would never have a young man for my friend who did not place himself in +dreams upon a pedestal, weave crowns for his head, and have complaisant +mistresses. I myself would often be a general, nay, emperor; I have been +a Byron, and then a nobody. After this sport on these pinnacles of human +achievement, I became aware that all the difficulties and steeps of life +were yet to face. My exuberant self-esteem came to my aid; I had that +intense belief in my destiny, which perhaps amounts to genius in those +who will not permit themselves to be distracted by contact with the +world, as sheep that leave their wool on the briars of every thicket +they pass by. I meant to cover myself with glory, and to work in silence +for the mistress I hoped to have one day. Women for me were resumed into +a single type, and this woman I looked to meet in the first that met +my eyes; but in each and all I saw a queen, and as queens must make the +first advances to their lovers, they must draw near to me--to me, so +sickly, shy, and poor. For her, who should take pity on me, my heart +held in store such gratitude over and beyond love, that I had worshiped +her her whole life long. Later, my observations have taught me bitter +truths. + +"In this way, dear Emile, I ran the risk of remaining companionless for +good. The incomprehensible bent of women's minds appears to lead them to +see nothing but the weak points in a clever man, and the strong points +of a fool. They feel the liveliest sympathy with the fool's good +qualities, which perpetually flatter their own defects; while they +find the man of talent hardly agreeable enough to compensate for his +shortcomings. All capacity is a sort of intermittent fever, and no woman +is anxious to share in its discomforts only; they look to find in their +lovers the wherewithal to gratify their own vanity. It is themselves +that they love in us! But the artist, poor and proud, along with his +endowment of creative power, is furnished with an aggressive egotism! +Everything about him is involved in I know not what whirlpool of his +ideas, and even his mistress must gyrate along with them. How is a +woman, spoilt with praise, to believe in the love of a man like that? +Will she go to seek him out? That sort of lover has not the leisure to +sit beside a sofa and give himself up to the sentimental simperings +that women are so fond of, and on which the false and unfeeling pride +themselves. He cannot spare the time from his work, and how can he +afford to humble himself and go a-masquerading! I was ready to give my +life once and for all, but I could not degrade it in detail. Besides, +there is something indescribably paltry in a stockbroker's tactics, who +runs on errands for some insipid affected woman; all this disgusts an +artist. Love in the abstract is not enough for a great man in poverty; +he has need of its utmost devotion. The frivolous creatures who spend +their lives in trying on cashmeres, or make themselves into clothes-pegs +to hang the fashions from, exact the devotion which is not theirs to +give; for them, love means the pleasure of ruling and not of obeying. +She who is really a wife, one in heart, flesh, and bone, must follow +wherever he leads, in whom her life, her strength, her pride, and +happiness are centered. Ambitious men need those Oriental women +whose whole thought is given to the study of their requirements; for +unhappiness means for them the incompatibility of their means with their +desires. But I, who took myself for a man of genius, must needs feel +attracted by these very she-coxcombs. So, as I cherished ideas so +different from those generally received; as I wished to scale the +heavens without a ladder, was possessed of wealth that could not +circulate, and of knowledge so wide and so imperfectly arranged and +digested that it overtaxed my memory; as I had neither relations nor +friends in the midst of this lonely and ghastly desert, a desert of +paving stones, full of animation, life, and thought, wherein every one +is worse than inimical, indifferent to wit; I made a very natural if +foolish resolve, which required such unknown impossibilities, that my +spirits rose. It was as if I had laid a wager with myself, for I was at +once the player and the cards. + +"This was my plan. The eleven hundred francs must keep life in me for +three years--the time I allowed myself in which to bring to light a +work which should draw attention to me, and make me either a name or a +fortune. I exulted at the thought of living on bread and milk, like +a hermit in the Thebaid, while I plunged into the world of books and +ideas, and so reached a lofty sphere beyond the tumult of Paris, a +sphere of silent labor where I would entomb myself like a chrysalis to +await a brilliant and splendid new birth. I imperiled my life in order +to live. By reducing my requirements to real needs and the barest +necessaries, I found that three hundred and sixty-five francs sufficed +for a year of penury; and, in fact, I managed to exist on that slender +sum, so long as I submitted to my own claustral discipline." + +"Impossible!" cried Emile. + +"I lived for nearly three years in that way," Raphael answered, with +a kind of pride. "Let us reckon it out. Three sous for bread, two for +milk, and three for cold meat, kept me from dying of hunger, and my +mind in a state of peculiar lucidity. I have observed, as you know, the +wonderful effects produced by diet upon the imagination. My lodgings +cost me three sous daily; I burnt three sous more in oil at night; I did +my own housework, and wore flannel shirts so as to reduce the laundress' +bill to two sous per day. The money I spent yearly in coal, if divided +up, never cost more than two sous for each day. I had three years' +supply of clothing, and I only dressed when going out to some library +or public lecture. These expenses, all told, only amounted to eighteen +sous, so two were left over for emergencies. I cannot recollect, during +that long period of toil, either crossing the Pont des Arts, or paying +for water; I went out to fetch it every morning from the fountain in +the Place Saint Michel, at the corner of the Rue de Gres. Oh, I wore my +poverty proudly. A man urged on towards a fair future walks through life +like an innocent person to his death; he feels no shame about it. + +"I would not think of illness. Like Aquilina, I faced the hospital +without terror. I had not a moment's doubt of my health, and besides, +the poor can only take to their beds to die. I cut my own hair till +the day when an angel of love and kindness... But I do not want to +anticipate the state of things that I shall reach later. You must simply +know that I lived with one grand thought for a mistress, a dream, an +illusion which deceives us all more or less at first. To-day I laugh at +myself, at that self, holy perhaps and heroic, which is now no more. I +have since had a closer view of society and the world, of our manners +and customs, and seen the dangers of my innocent credulity and the +superfluous nature of my fervent toil. Stores of that sort are quite +useless to aspirants for fame. Light should be the baggage of seekers +after fortune! + +"Ambitious men spend their youth in rendering themselves worthy of +patronage; it is their great mistake. While the foolish creatures are +laying in stores of knowledge and energy, so that they shall not sink +under the weight of responsible posts that recede from them, schemers +come and go who are wealthy in words and destitute in ideas, astonish +the ignorant, and creep into the confidence of those who have a little +knowledge. While the first kind study, the second march ahead; the one +sort is modest, and the other impudent; the man of genius is silent +about his own merits, but these schemers make a flourish of theirs, and +they are bound to get on. It is so strongly to the interest of men in +office to believe in ready-made capacity, and in brazen-faced merit, +that it is downright childish of the learned to expect material rewards. +I do not seek to paraphrase the commonplace moral, the song of songs +that obscure genius is for ever singing; I want to come, in a logical +manner, by the reason of the frequent successes of mediocrity. Alas! +study shows us such a mother's kindness that it would be a sin perhaps +to ask any other reward of her than the pure and delightful pleasures +with which she sustains her children. + +"Often I remember soaking my bread in milk, as I sat by the window to +take the fresh air; while my eyes wandered over a view of roofs--brown, +gray, or red, slated or tiled, and covered with yellow or green mosses. +At first the prospect may have seemed monotonous, but I very soon found +peculiar beauties in it. Sometimes at night, streams of light through +half-closed shutters would light up and color the dark abysses of this +strange landscape. Sometimes the feeble lights of the street lamps sent +up yellow gleams through the fog, and in each street dimly outlined the +undulations of a crowd of roofs, like billows in a motionless sea. +Very occasionally, too, a face appeared in this gloomy waste; above +the flowers in some skyey garden I caught a glimpse of an old woman's +crooked angular profile as she watered her nasturtiums; or, in a crazy +attic window, a young girl, fancying herself quite alone as she dressed +herself--a view of nothing more than a fair forehead and long tresses +held above her by a pretty white arm. + +"I liked to see the short-lived plant-life in the gutters--poor weeds +that a storm soon washed away. I studied the mosses, with their colors +revived by showers, or transformed by the sun into a brown velvet +that fitfully caught the light. Such things as these formed my +recreations--the passing poetic moods of daylight, the melancholy mists, +sudden gleams of sunlight, the silence and the magic of night, the +mysteries of dawn, the smoke wreaths from each chimney; every chance +event, in fact, in my curious world became familiar to me. I came to +love this prison of my own choosing. This level Parisian prairie +of roofs, beneath which lay populous abysses, suited my humor, and +harmonized with my thoughts. + +"Sudden descents into the world from the divine height of scientific +meditation are very exhausting; and, besides, I had apprehended +perfectly the bare life of the cloister. When I made up my mind to +carry out this new plan of life, I looked for quarters in the most +out-of-the-way parts of Paris. One evening, as I returned home to the +Rue des Cordiers from the Place de l'Estrapade, I saw a girl of fourteen +playing with a battledore at the corner of the Rue de Cluny, her winsome +ways and laughter amused the neighbors. September was not yet over; it +was warm and fine, so that women sat chatting before their doors as if +it were a fete-day in some country town. At first I watched the charming +expression of the girl's face and her graceful attitudes, her pose fit +for a painter. It was a pretty sight. I looked about me, seeking to +understand this blithe simplicity in the midst of Paris, and saw that +the street was a blind alley and but little frequented. I remembered +that Jean Jacques had once lived here, and looked up the Hotel +Saint-Quentin. Its dilapidated condition awakened hopes of a cheap +lodging, and I determined to enter. + +"I found myself in a room with a low ceiling; the candles, in +classic-looking copper candle-sticks, were set in a row under each key. +The predominating cleanliness of the room made a striking contrast to +the usual state of such places. This one was as neat as a bit of genre; +there was a charming trimness about the blue coverlet, the cooking pots +and furniture. The mistress of the house rose and came to me. She seemed +to be about forty years of age; sorrows had left their traces on her +features, and weeping had dimmed her eyes. I deferentially mentioned the +amount I could pay; it seemed to cause her no surprise; she sought out +a key from the row, went up to the attics with me, and showed me a room +that looked out on the neighboring roofs and courts; long poles with +linen drying on them hung out of the window. + +"Nothing could be uglier than this garret, awaiting its scholar, with +its dingy yellow walls and odor of poverty. The roofing fell in a steep +slope, and the sky was visible through chinks in the tiles. There was +room for a bed, a table, and a few chairs, and beneath the highest point +of the roof my piano could stand. Not being rich enough to furnish this +cage (that might have been one of the _Piombi_ of Venice), the poor +woman had never been able to let it; and as I had saved from the recent +sale the furniture that was in a fashion peculiarly mine, I very soon +came to terms with my landlady, and moved in on the following day. + +"For three years I lived in this airy sepulchre, and worked unflaggingly +day and night; and so great was the pleasure that study seemed to me the +fairest theme and the happiest solution of life. The tranquillity and +peace that a scholar needs is something as sweet and exhilarating as +love. Unspeakable joys are showered on us by the exertion of our +mental faculties; the quest of ideas, and the tranquil contemplation +of knowledge; delights indescribable, because purely intellectual and +impalpable to our senses. So we are obliged to use material terms to +express the mysteries of the soul. The pleasure of striking out in some +lonely lake of clear water, with forests, rocks, and flowers around, and +the soft stirring of the warm breeze,--all this would give, to those who +knew them not, a very faint idea of the exultation with which my soul +bathed itself in the beams of an unknown light, hearkened to the awful +and uncertain voice of inspiration, as vision upon vision poured from +some unknown source through my throbbing brain. + +"No earthly pleasure can compare with the divine delight of watching +the dawn of an idea in the space of abstractions as it rises like the +morning sun; an idea that, better still, attains gradually like a child +to puberty and man's estate. Study lends a kind of enchantment to all +our surroundings. The wretched desk covered with brown leather at which +I wrote, my piano, bed, and armchair, the odd wall-paper and furniture +seemed to have for me a kind of life in them, and to be humble friends +of mine and mute partakers of my destiny. How often have I confided my +soul to them in a glance! A warped bit of beading often met my eyes, +and suggested new developments,--a striking proof of my system, or a +felicitous word by which to render my all but inexpressible thought. By +sheer contemplation of the things about me I discerned an expression and +a character in each. If the setting sun happened to steal in through my +narrow window, they would take new colors, fade or shine, grow dull or +gay, and always amaze me with some new effect. These trifling incidents +of a solitary life, which escape those preoccupied with outward affairs, +make the solace of prisoners. And what was I but the captive of an +idea, imprisoned in my system, but sustained also by the prospect of a +brilliant future? At each obstacle that I overcame, I seemed to kiss the +soft hands of a woman with a fair face, a wealthy, well-dressed woman, +who should some day say softly, while she caressed my hair: + +"'Poor Angel, how thou hast suffered!' + +"I had undertaken two great works--one a comedy that in a very short +time must bring me wealth and fame, and an entry into those circles +whither I wished to return, to exercise the royal privileges of a man +of genius. You all saw nothing in that masterpiece but the blunder of a +young man fresh from college, a babyish fiasco. Your jokes clipped the +wings of a throng of illusions, which have never stirred since within +me. You, dear Emile, alone brought soothing to the deep wounds that +others had made in my heart. You alone will admire my 'Theory of the +Will.' I devoted most of my time to that long work, for which I studied +Oriental languages, physiology and anatomy. If I do not deceive myself, +my labors will complete the task begun by Mesmer, Lavater, Gall, and +Bichat, and open up new paths in science. + +"There ends that fair life of mine, the daily sacrifice, the +unrecognized silkworm's toil, that is, perhaps, its own sole recompense. +Since attaining years of discretion, until the day when I finished my +'Theory,' I observed, learned, wrote, and read unintermittingly; my +life was one long imposition, as schoolboys say. Though by nature +effeminately attached to Oriental indolence, sensual in tastes, and a +wooer of dreams, I worked incessantly, and refused to taste any of the +enjoyments of Parisian life. Though a glutton, I became abstemious; and +loving exercise and sea voyages as I did, and haunted by the wish to +visit many countries, still child enough to play at ducks and drakes +with pebbles over a pond, I led a sedentary life with a pen in my +fingers. I liked talking, but I went to sit and mutely listen to +professors who gave public lectures at the _Bibliotheque_ or the Museum. +I slept upon my solitary pallet like a Benedictine brother, though woman +was my one chimera, a chimera that fled from me as I wooed it! In short, +my life has been a cruel contradiction, a perpetual cheat. After that, +judge a man! + +"Sometimes my natural propensities broke out like a fire long smothered. +I was debarred from the women whose society I desired, stripped of +everything and lodged in an artist's garret, and by a sort of mirage or +calenture I was surrounded by captivating mistresses. I drove through +the streets of Paris, lolling on the soft cushions of a fine equipage. +I plunged into dissipation, into corroding vice, I desired and possessed +everything, for fasting had made me light-headed like the tempted Saint +Anthony. Slumber, happily, would put an end at last to these devastating +trances; and on the morrow science would beckon me, smiling, and I was +faithful to her. I imagine that women reputed virtuous, must often fall +a prey to these insane tempests of desire and passion, which rise in us +in spite of ourselves. Such dreams have a charm of their own; they are +something akin to evening gossip round the winter fire, when one sets +out for some voyage in China. But what becomes of virtue during these +delicious excursions, when fancy overleaps all difficulties? + +"During the first ten months of seclusion I led the life of poverty and +solitude that I have described to you; I used to steal out unobserved +every morning to buy my own provisions for the day; I tidied my room; I +was at once master and servant, and played the Diogenes with incredible +spirit. But afterwards, while my hostess and her daughter watched my +ways and behavior, scrutinized my appearance and divined my poverty, +there could not but be some bonds between us; perhaps because they were +themselves so very poor. Pauline, the charming child, whose latent +and unconscious grace had, in a manner, brought me there, did me many +services that I could not well refuse. All women fallen on evil days +are sisters; they speak a common language; they have the same +generosity--the generosity that possesses nothing, and so is lavish of +its affection, of its time, and of its very self. + +"Imperceptibly Pauline took me under her protection, and would do +things for me. No kind of objection was made by her mother, whom I even +surprised mending my linen; she blushed for the charitable occupation. +In spite of myself, they took charge of me, and I accepted their +services. + +"In order to understand the peculiar condition of my mind, my +preoccupation with work must be remembered, the tyranny of ideas, and +the instinctive repugnance that a man who leads an intellectual life +must ever feel for the material details of existence. Could I well +repulse the delicate attentions of Pauline, who would noiselessly bring +me my frugal repast, when she noticed that I had taken nothing for seven +or eight hours? She had the tact of a woman and the inventiveness of a +child; she would smile as she made sign to me that I must not see her. +Ariel glided under my roof in the form of a sylph who foresaw every want +of mine. + +"One evening Pauline told me her story with touching simplicity. Her +father had been a major in the horse grenadiers of the Imperial Guard. +He had been taken prisoner by the Cossacks, at the passage of Beresina; +and when Napoleon later on proposed an exchange, the Russian authorities +made search for him in Siberia in vain; he had escaped with a view of +reaching India, and since then Mme. Gaudin, my landlady, could hear no +news of her husband. Then came the disasters of 1814 and 1815; and, left +alone and without resource, she had decided to let furnished lodgings in +order to keep herself and her daughter. + +"She always hoped to see her husband again. Her greatest trouble was +about her daughter's education; the Princess Borghese was her Pauline's +godmother; and Pauline must not be unworthy of the fair future promised +by her imperial protectress. When Mme. Gaudin confided to me this heavy +trouble that preyed upon her, she said, with sharp pain in her voice, +'I would give up the property and the scrap of paper that makes Gaudin +a baron of the empire, and all our rights to the endowment of Wistchnau, +if only Pauline could be brought up at Saint-Denis?' Her words struck +me; now I could show my gratitude for the kindnesses expended on me +by the two women; all at once the idea of offering to finish Pauline's +education occurred to me; and the offer was made and accepted in the +most perfect simplicity. In this way I came to have some hours of +recreation. Pauline had natural aptitude; she learned so quickly, that +she soon surpassed me at the piano. As she became accustomed to think +aloud in my presence, she unfolded all the sweet refinements of a heart +that was opening itself out to life, as some flower-cup opens slowly to +the sun. She listened to me, pleased and thoughtful, letting her dark +velvet eyes rest upon me with a half smile in them; she repeated her +lessons in soft and gentle tones, and showed childish glee when I was +satisfied with her. Her mother grew more and more anxious every day to +shield the young girl from every danger (for all the beauty promised in +early life was developing in the crescent moon), and was glad to see her +spend whole days indoors in study. My piano was the only one she could +use, and while I was out she practised on it. When I came home, Pauline +would be in my room, in her shabby dress, but her slightest movement +revealed her slender figure in its attractive grace, in spite of the +coarse materials that she wore. As with the heroine of the fable of +'_Peau-d'Ane_,' a dainty foot peeped out of the clumsy shoes. But all +her wealth of girlish beauty was as lost upon me. I had laid commands +upon myself to see a sister only in Pauline. I dreaded lest I should +betray her mother's faith in me. I admired the lovely girl as if she had +been a picture, or as the portrait of a dead mistress; she was at once +my child and my statue. For me, another Pygmalion, the maiden with the +hues of life and the living voice was to become a form of inanimate +marble. I was very strict with her, but the more I made her feel my +pedagogue's severity, the more gentle and submissive she grew. + +"If a generous feeling strengthened me in my reserve and self-restraint, +prudent considerations were not lacking beside. Integrity of purpose +cannot, I think, fail to accompany integrity in money matters. To my +mind, to become insolvent or to betray a woman is the same sort of +thing. If you love a young girl, or allow yourself to be beloved by +her, a contract is implied, and its conditions should be thoroughly +understood. We are free to break with the woman who sells herself, but +not with the young girl who has given herself to us and does not know +the extent of her sacrifice. I must have married Pauline, and that would +have been madness. Would it not have given over that sweet girlish heart +to terrible misfortunes? My poverty made its selfish voice heard, and +set an iron barrier between that gentle nature and mine. Besides, I +am ashamed to say, that I cannot imagine love in the midst of poverty. +Perhaps this is a vitiation due to that malady of mankind called +civilization; but a woman in squalid poverty would exert no fascination +over me, were she attractive as Homer's Galatea, the fair Helen. + +"Ah, _vive l'amour_! But let it be in silk and cashmere, surrounded with +the luxury which so marvelously embellishes it; for is it not perhaps +itself a luxury? I enjoy making havoc with an elaborate erection of +scented hair; I like to crush flowers, to disarrange and crease a smart +toilette at will. A bizarre attraction lies for me in burning eyes that +blaze through a lace veil, like flame through cannon smoke. My way of +love would be to mount by a silken ladder, in the silence of a winter +night. And what bliss to reach, all powdered with snow, a perfumed +room, with hangings of painted silk, to find a woman there, who likewise +shakes away the snow from her; for what other name can be found for the +white muslin wrappings that vaguely define her, like some angel form +issuing from a cloud! And then I wish for furtive joys, for the security +of audacity. I want to see once more that woman of mystery, but let it +be in the throng, dazzling, unapproachable, adored on all sides, dressed +in laces and ablaze with diamonds, laying her commands upon every one; +so exalted above us, that she inspires awe, and none dares to pay his +homage to her. + +"She gives me a stolen glance, amid her court, a look that exposes the +unreality of all this; that resigns for me the world and all men in +it! Truly I have scorned myself for a passion for a few yards of lace, +velvet, and fine lawn, and the hairdresser's feats of skill; a love of +wax-lights, a carriage and a title, a heraldic coronet painted on window +panes, or engraved by a jeweler; in short, a liking for all that is +adventitious and least woman in woman. I have scorned and reasoned with +myself, but all in vain. + +"A woman of rank with her subtle smile, her high-born air, and +self-esteem captivates me. The barriers she erects between herself and +the world awaken my vanity, a good half of love. There would be more +relish for me in bliss that all others envied. If my mistress does +nothing that other women do, and neither lives nor conducts herself like +them, wears a cloak that they cannot attain, breathes a perfume of her +own, then she seems to rise far above me. The further she rises from +earth, even in the earthlier aspects of love, the fairer she becomes for +me. + +"Luckily for me we have had no queen in France these twenty years, for I +should have fallen in love with her. A woman must be wealthy to +acquire the manners of a princess. What place had Pauline among these +far-fetched imaginings? Could she bring me the love that is death, that +brings every faculty into play, the nights that are paid for by life? We +hardly die, I think, for an insignificant girl who gives herself to us; +and I could never extinguish these feelings and poet's dreams within +me. I was born for an inaccessible love, and fortune has overtopped my +desire. + +"How often have I set satin shoes on Pauline's tiny feet, confined her +form, slender as a young poplar, in a robe of gauze, and thrown a loose +scarf about her as I saw her tread the carpets in her mansion and led +her out to her splendid carriage! In such guise I should have adored +her. I endowed her with all the pride she lacked, stripped her of her +virtues, her natural simple charm, and frank smile, in order to plunge +her heart in our Styx of depravity that makes invulnerable, load her +with our crimes, make of her the fantastical doll of our drawing-rooms, +the frail being who lies about in the morning and comes to life again +at night with the dawn of tapers. Pauline was fresh-hearted and +affectionate--I would have had her cold and formal. + +"In the last days of my frantic folly, memory brought Pauline before me, +as it brings the scenes of our childhood, and made me pause to muse over +past delicious moments that softened my heart. I sometimes saw her, +the adorable girl who sat quietly sewing at my table, wrapped in her +meditations; the faint light from my window fell upon her and was +reflected back in silvery rays from her thick black hair; sometimes I +heard her young laughter, or the rich tones of her voice singing some +canzonet that she composed without effort. And often my Pauline seemed +to grow greater, as music flowed from her, and her face bore a striking +resemblance to the noble one that Carlo Dolci chose for the type of +Italy. My cruel memory brought her back athwart the dissipations of my +existence, like a remorse, or a symbol of purity. But let us leave the +poor child to her own fate. Whatever her troubles may have been, at any +rate I protected her from a menacing tempest--I did not drag her down +into my hell. + +"Until last winter I led the uneventful studious life of which I have +given you some faint picture. In the earliest days of December 1829, +I came across Rastignac, who, in spite of the shabby condition of my +wardrobe, linked his arm in mine, and inquired into my affairs with a +quite brotherly interest. Caught by his engaging manner, I gave him a +brief account of my life and hopes; he began to laugh, and treated me as +a mixture of a man of genius and a fool. His Gascon accent and knowledge +of the world, the easy life his clever management procured for him, all +produced an irresistible effect upon me. I should die an unrecognized +failure in a hospital, Rastignac said, and be buried in a pauper's +grave. He talked of charlatanism. Every man of genius was a charlatan, +he plainly showed me in that pleasant way of his that makes him so +fascinating. He insisted that I must be out of my senses, and would be +my own death, if I lived on alone in the Rue des Cordiers. According to +him, I ought to go into society, to accustom people to the sound of my +name, and to rid myself of the simple title of 'monsieur' which sits but +ill on a great man in his lifetime. + +"'Those who know no better,' he cried, 'call this sort of business +_scheming_, and moral people condemn it for a "dissipated life." We need +not stop to look at what people think, but see the results. You work, +you say? Very good, but nothing will ever come of that. Now, I am ready +for anything and fit for nothing. As lazy as a lobster? Very likely, but +I succeed everywhere. I go out into society, I push myself forward, the +others make way before me; I brag and am believed; I incur debts which +somebody else pays! Dissipation, dear boy, is a methodical policy. The +life of a man who deliberately runs through his fortune often becomes +a business speculation; his friends, his pleasures, patrons, and +acquaintances are his capital. Suppose a merchant runs a risk of a +million, for twenty years he can neither sleep, eat, nor amuse himself, +he is brooding over his million, it makes him run about all over +Europe; he worries himself, goes to the devil in every way that man has +invented. Then comes a liquidation, such as I have seen myself, which +very often leaves him penniless and without a reputation or a friend. +The spendthrift, on the other hand, takes life as a serious game and +sees his horses run. He loses his capital, perhaps, but he stands +a chance of being nominated Receiver-General, of making a wealthy +marriage, or of an appointment of attache to a minister or ambassador; +and he has his friends left and his name, and he never wants money. He +knows the standing of everybody, and uses every one for his own benefit. +Is this logical, or am I a madman after all? Haven't you there all the +moral of the comedy that goes on every day in this world?... Your work +is completed' he went on after a pause; 'you are immensely clever! Well, +you have only arrived at my starting-point. Now, you had better look +after its success yourself; it is the surest way. You will make allies +in every clique, and secure applause beforehand. I mean to go halves in +your glory myself; I shall be the jeweler who set the diamonds in +your crown. Come here to-morrow evening, by way of a beginning. I will +introduce you to a house where all Paris goes, all OUR Paris, that +is--the Paris of exquisites, millionaires, celebrities, all the folk +who talk gold like Chrysostom. When they have taken up a book, that book +becomes the fashion; and if it is something really good for once, they +will have declared it to be a work of genius without knowing it. If +you have any sense, my dear fellow, you will ensure the success of your +"Theory," by a better understanding of the theory of success. To-morrow +evening you shall go to see that queen of the moment--the beautiful +Countess Foedora....' + +"'I have never heard of her....' + +"'You Hottentot!' laughed Rastignac; 'you do not know Foedora? A great +match with an income of nearly eighty thousand livres, who has taken +a fancy to nobody, or else no one has taken a fancy to her. A sort of +feminine enigma, a half Russian Parisienne, or a half Parisian Russian. +All the romantic productions that never get published are brought out at +her house; she is the handsomest woman in Paris, and the most gracious! +You are not even a Hottentot; you are something between the Hottentot +and the beast.... Good-bye till to-morrow.' + +"He swung round on his heel and made off without waiting for my +answer. It never occurred to him that a reasoning being could refuse an +introduction to Foedora. How can the fascination of a name be explained? +FOEDORA haunted me like some evil thought, with which you seek to come +to terms. A voice said in me, 'You are going to see Foedora!' In vain +I reasoned with that voice, saying that it lied to me; all my arguments +were defeated by the name 'Foedora.' Was not the name, and even the +woman herself, the symbol of all my desires, and the object of my life? + +"The name called up recollections of the conventional glitter of the +world, the upper world of Paris with its brilliant fetes and the tinsel +of its vanities. The woman brought before me all the problems of passion +on which my mind continually ran. Perhaps it was neither the woman nor +the name, but my own propensities, that sprang up within me and tempted +me afresh. Here was the Countess Foedora, rich and loveless, proof +against the temptations of Paris; was not this woman the very +incarnation of my hopes and visions? I fashioned her for myself, drew +her in fancy, and dreamed of her. I could not sleep that night; I became +her lover; I overbrimmed a few hours with a whole lifetime--a lover's +lifetime; the experience of its prolific delights burned me. + +"The next day I could not bear the tortures of delay; I borrowed a +novel, and spent the whole day over it, so that I could not possibly +think nor keep account of the time till night. Foedora's name echoed +through me even as I read, but only as a distant sound; though it +could be heard, it was not troublesome. Fortunately, I owned a fairly +creditable black coat and a white waistcoat; of all my fortune there +now remained abut thirty francs, which I had distributed about among +my clothes and in my drawers, so as to erect between my whims and +the spending of a five-franc piece a thorny barrier of search, and an +adventurous peregrination round my room. While I as dressing, I dived +about for my money in an ocean of papers. This scarcity of specie will +give you some idea of the value of that squandered upon gloves and +cab-hire; a month's bread disappeared at one fell swoop. Alas! money is +always forthcoming for our caprices; we only grudge the cost of +things that are useful or necessary. We recklessly fling gold to an +opera-dancer, and haggle with a tradesman whose hungry family must wait +for the settlement of our bill. How many men are there that wear a coat +that cost a hundred francs, and carry a diamond in the head of their +cane, and dine for twenty-five SOUS for all that! It seems as though we +could never pay enough for the pleasures of vanity. + +"Rastignac, punctual to his appointment, smiled at the transformation, +and joked about it. On the way he gave me benevolent advice as to +my conduct with the countess; he described her as mean, vain, and +suspicious; but though mean, she was ostentatious, her vanity was +transparent, and her mistrust good-humored. + +"'You know I am pledged,' he said, 'and what I should lose, too, if I +tried a change in love. So my observation of Foedora has been quite cool +and disinterested, and my remarks must have some truth in them. I was +looking to your future when I thought of introducing you to her; so mind +very carefully what I am about to say. She has a terrible memory. She is +clever enough to drive a diplomatist wild; she would know it at once if +he spoke the truth. Between ourselves, I fancy that her marriage was +not recognized by the Emperor, for the Russian ambassador began to smile +when I spoke of her; he does not receive her either, and only bows very +coolly if he meets her in the Bois. For all that, she is in Madame de +Serizy's set, and visits Mesdames de Nucingen and de Restaud. There +is no cloud over her here in France; the Duchesse de Carigliano, the +most-strait-laced marechale in the whole Bonapartist coterie, often goes +to spend the summer with her at her country house. Plenty of young fops, +sons of peers of France, have offered her a title in exchange for her +fortune, and she has politely declined them all. Her susceptibilities, +maybe, are not to be touched by anything less than a count. Aren't you a +marquis? Go ahead if you fancy her. This is what you may call receiving +your instructions.' + +"His raillery made me think that Rastignac wished to joke and excite my +curiosity, so that I was in a paroxysm of my extemporized passion by the +time that we stopped before a peristyle full of flowers. My heart beat +and my color rose as we went up the great carpeted staircase, and I +noticed about me all the studied refinements of English comfort; I +was infatuatedly bourgeois; I forgot my origin and all my personal and +family pride. Alas! I had but just left a garret, after three years +of poverty, and I could not just then set the treasures there acquired +above such trifles as these. Nor could I rightly estimate the worth of +the vast intellectual capital which turns to riches at the moment when +opportunity comes within our reach, opportunity that does not overwhelm, +because study has prepared us for the struggles of public life. + +"I found a woman of about twenty-two years of age; she was of average +height, was dressed in white, and held a feather fire-screen in +her hand; a group of men stood around her. She rose at the sight +of Rastignac, and came towards us with a gracious smile and a +musically-uttered compliment, prepared no doubt beforehand, for me. Our +friend had spoken of me as a rising man, and his clever way of making +the most of me had procured me this flattering reception. I was confused +by the attention that every one paid to me; but Rastignac had luckily +mentioned my modesty. I was brought in contact with scholars, men +of letters, ex-ministers, and peers of France. The conversation, +interrupted a while by my coming, was resumed. I took courage, feeling +that I had a reputation to maintain, and without abusing my privilege, +I spoke when it fell to me to speak, trying to state the questions at +issue in words more or less profound, witty or trenchant, and I made a +certain sensation. Rastignac was a prophet for the thousandth time in +his life. As soon as the gathering was large enough to restore freedom +to individuals, he took my arm, and we went round the rooms. + +"'Don't look as if you were too much struck by the princess,' he said, +'or she will guess your object in coming to visit her.' + +"The rooms were furnished in excellent taste. Each apartment had a +character of its own, as in wealthy English houses; and the silken +hangings, the style of the furniture, and the ornaments, even the +most trifling, were all subordinated to the original idea. In a gothic +boudoir the doors were concealed by tapestried curtains, and the +paneling by hangings; the clock and the pattern of the carpet were made +to harmonize with the gothic surroundings. The ceiling, with its carved +cross-beams of brown wood, was full of charm and originality; the panels +were beautifully wrought; nothing disturbed the general harmony of +the scheme of decoration, not even the windows with their rich colored +glass. I was surprised by the extensive knowledge of decoration that +some artist had brought to bear on a little modern room, it was so +pleasant and fresh, and not heavy, but subdued with its dead gold hues. +It had all the vague sentiment of a German ballad; it was a retreat fit +for some romance of 1827, perfumed by the exotic flowers set in their +stands. Another apartment in the suite was a gilded reproduction of the +Louis Quatorze period, with modern paintings on the walls in odd but +pleasant contrast. + +"'You would not be so badly lodged,' was Rastignac's slightly sarcastic +comment. 'It is captivating, isn't it?' he added, smiling as he sat +down. Then suddenly he rose, and led me by the hand into a bedroom, +where the softened light fell upon the bed under its canopy of muslin +and white watered silk--a couch for a young fairy betrothed to one of +the genii. + +"'Isn't it wantonly bad taste, insolent and unbounded coquetry,' he +said, lowering his voice, 'that allows us to see this throne of love? +She gives herself to no one, and anybody may leave his card here. If I +were not committed, I should like to see her at my feet all tears and +submission.' + +"'Are you so certain of her virtue?' + +"'The boldest and even the cleverest adventurers among us, acknowledge +themselves defeated, and continue to be her lovers and devoted friends. +Isn't that woman a puzzle?' + +"His words seemed to intoxicate me; I had jealous fears already of the +past. I leapt for joy, and hurried back to the countess, whom I had seen +in the gothic boudoir. She stopped me by a smile, made me sit beside +her, and talked about my work, seeming to take the greatest interest in +it, and all the more when I set forth my theories amusingly, instead of +adopting the formal language of a professor for their explanation. It +seemed to divert her to be told that the human will was a material force +like steam; that in the moral world nothing could resist its power if +a man taught himself to concentrate it, to economize it, and to project +continually its fluid mass in given directions upon other souls. Such +a man, I said, could modify all things relatively to man, even the +peremptory laws of nature. The questions Foedora raised showed a certain +keenness of intellect. I took a pleasure in deciding some of them in her +favor, in order to flatter her; then I confuted her feminine reasoning +with a word, and roused her curiosity by drawing her attention to an +everyday matter--to sleep, a thing so apparently commonplace, that in +reality is an insoluble problem for science. The countess sat in silence +for a moment when I told her that our ideas were complete organic +beings, existing in an invisible world, and influencing our destinies; +and for witnesses I cited the opinions of Descartes, Diderot, and +Napoleon, who had directed, and still directed, all the currents of the +age. + +"So I had the honor of amusing this woman; who asked me to come to see +her when she left me; giving me _les grande entrees_, in the language +of the court. Whether it was by dint of substituting polite formulas for +genuine expressions of feeling, a commendable habit of mine, or because +Foedora hailed in me a coming celebrity, an addition to her learned +menagerie; for some reason I thought that I had pleased her. I called +all my previous physiological studies and knowledge of woman to my aid, +and minutely scrutinized this singular person and her ways all evening. +I concealed myself in the embrasure of a window, and sought to discover +her thoughts from her bearing. I studied the tactics of the mistress of +the house, as she came and went, sat and chatted, beckoned to this one +or that, asked questions, listened to the answers, as she leaned against +the frame of the door; I detected a languid charm in her movements, +a grace in the flutterings of her dress, remarked the nature of the +feelings she so powerfully excited, and became very incredulous as to +her virtue. If Foedora would none of love to-day, she had had strong +passions at some time; past experience of pleasure showed itself in the +attitudes she chose in conversation, in her coquettish way of leaning +against the panel behind her; she seemed scarcely able to stand alone, +and yet ready for flight from too bold a glance. There was a kind of +eloquence about her lightly folded arms, which, even for benevolent +eyes, breathed sentiment. Her fresh red lips sharply contrasted with her +brilliantly pale complexion. Her brown hair brought out all the golden +color in her eyes, in which blue streaks mingled as in Florentine +marble; their expression seemed to increase the significance of her +words. A studied grace lay in the charms of her bodice. Perhaps a rival +might have found the lines of the thick eyebrows, which almost met, a +little hard; or found a fault in the almost invisible down that covered +her features. I saw the signs of passion everywhere, written on those +Italian eyelids, on the splendid shoulders worthy of the Venus of Milo, +on her features, in the darker shade of down above a somewhat thick +under-lip. She was not merely a woman, but a romance. The whole +blended harmony of lines, the feminine luxuriance of her frame, and its +passionate promise, were subdued by a constant inexplicable reserve +and modesty at variance with everything else about her. It needed an +observation as keen as my own to detect such signs as these in her +character. To explain myself more clearly; there were two women in +Foedora, divided perhaps by the line between head and body: the one, +the head alone, seemed to be susceptible, and the other phlegmatic. +She prepared her glance before she looked at you, something unspeakably +mysterious, some inward convulsion seemed revealed by her glittering +eyes. + +"So, to be brief, either my imperfect moral science had left me a good +deal to learn in the moral world, or a lofty soul dwelt in the countess, +lent to her face those charms that fascinated and subdued us, and gave +her an ascendency only the more complete because it comprehended a +sympathy of desire. + +"I went away completely enraptured with this woman, dazzled by the +luxury around her, gratified in every faculty of my soul--noble and +base, good and evil. When I felt myself so excited, eager, and elated, +I thought I understood the attraction that drew thither those artists, +diplomatists, men in office, those stock-jobbers encased in triple +brass. They came, no doubt, to find in her society the delirious emotion +that now thrilled through every fibre in me, throbbing through my brain, +setting the blood a-tingle in every vein, fretting even the tiniest +nerve. And she had given herself to none, so as to keep them all. A +woman is a coquette so long as she knows not love. + +"'Well,' I said to Rastignac, 'they married her, or sold her perhaps, +to some old man, and recollections of her first marriage have caused her +aversion for love.' + +"I walked home from the Faubourg St. Honore, where Foedora lived. +Almost all the breadth of Paris lies between her mansion and the Rue des +Cordiers, but the distance seemed short, in spite of the cold. And I was +to lay siege to Foedora's heart, in winter, and a bitter winter, with +only thirty francs in my possession, and such a distance as that lay +between us! Only a poor man knows what such a passion costs in cab-hire, +gloves, linen, tailor's bills, and the like. If the Platonic stage lasts +a little too long, the affair grows ruinous. As a matter of fact, there +is many a Lauzun among students of law, who finds it impossible to +approach a ladylove living on a first floor. And I, sickly, thin, poorly +dressed, wan and pale as any artist convalescent after a work, how could +I compete with other young men, curled, handsome, smart, outcravatting +Croatia; wealthy men, equipped with tilburys, and armed with assurance? + +"'Bah, death or Foedora!' I cried, as I went round by a bridge; 'my +fortune lies in Foedora.' + +"That gothic boudoir and Louis Quatorze salon came before my eyes. I saw +the countess again in her white dress with its large graceful sleeves, +and all the fascinations of her form and movements. These pictures of +Foedora and her luxurious surroundings haunted me even in my bare, cold +garret, when at last I reached it, as disheveled as any naturalist's +wig. The contrast suggested evil counsel; in such a way crimes are +conceived. I cursed my honest, self-respecting poverty, my garret where +such teeming fancies had stirred within me. I trembled with fury, I +reproached God, the devil, social conditions, my own father, the whole +universe, indeed, with my fate and my misfortunes. I went hungry to bed, +muttering ludicrous imprecations, but fully determined to win Foedora. +Her heart was my last ticket in the lottery, my fortune depended upon +it. + +"I spare you the history of my earlier visits, to reach the drama +the sooner. In my efforts to appeal to her, I essayed to engage her +intellect and her vanity on my side; in order to secure her love, I gave +her any quantity of reasons for increasing her self-esteem; I never left +her in a state of indifference; women like emotions at any cost, I gave +them to her in plenty; I would rather have had her angry with me than +indifferent. + +"At first, urged by a strong will and a desire for her love, I assumed +a little authority, but my own feelings grew stronger and mastered me; I +relapsed into truth, I lost my head, and fell desperately in love. + +"I am not very sure what we mean by the word love in our poetry and our +talk; but I know that I have never found in all the ready rhetorical +phrases of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in whose room perhaps I was lodging; +nor among the feeble inventions of two centuries of our literature, nor +in any picture that Italy has produced, a representation of the feelings +that expanded all at once in my double nature. The view of the lake of +Bienne, some music of Rossini's, the Madonna of Murillo's now in +the possession of General Soult, Lescombat's letters, a few sayings +scattered through collections of anecdotes; but most of all the prayers +of religious ecstatics, and passages in our _fabliaux_,--these things +alone have power to carry me back to the divine heights of my first +love. + +"Nothing expressed in human language, no thought reproducible in color, +marble, sound, or articulate speech, could ever render the force, the +truth, the completeness, the suddenness with which love awoke in me. +To speak of art, is to speak of illusion. Love passes through endless +transformations before it passes for ever into our existence and makes +it glow with its own color of flame. The process is imperceptible, and +baffles the artist's analysis. Its moans and complaints are tedious to +an uninterested spectator. One would need to be very much in love +to share the furious transports of Lovelace, as one reads _Clarissa +Harlowe_. Love is like some fresh spring, that leaves its cresses, +its gravel bed and flowers to become first a stream and then a river, +changing its aspect and its nature as it flows to plunge itself in some +boundless ocean, where restricted natures only find monotony, but where +great souls are engulfed in endless contemplation. + +"How can I dare to describe the hues of fleeting emotions, the nothings +beyond all price, the spoken accents that beggar language, the looks +that hold more than all the wealth of poetry? Not one of the mysterious +scenes that draw us insensibly nearer and nearer to a woman, but has +depths in it which can swallow up all the poetry that ever was written. +How can the inner life and mystery that stirs in our souls penetrate +through our glozes, when we have not even words to describe the visible +and outward mysteries of beauty? What enchantment steeped me for how +many hours in unspeakable rapture, filled with the sight of Her! What +made me happy? I know not. That face of hers overflowed with light at +such times; it seemed in some way to glow with it; the outlines of her +face, with the scarcely perceptible down on its delicate surface, shone +with a beauty belonging to the far distant horizon that melts into the +sunlight. The light of day seemed to caress her as she mingled in +it; rather it seemed that the light of her eyes was brighter than the +daylight itself; or some shadow passing over that fair face made a kind +of change there, altering its hues and its expression. Some thought +would often seem to glow on her white brows; her eyes appeared to +dilate, and her eyelids trembled; a smile rippled over her features; +the living coral of her lips grew full of meaning as they closed and +unclosed; an indistinguishable something in her hair made brown shadows +on her fair temples; in each new phase Foedora spoke. Every slight +variation in her beauty made a new pleasure for my eyes, disclosed +charms my heart had never known before; I tried to read a separate +emotion or a hope in every change that passed over her face. This mute +converse passed between soul and soul, like sound and answering echo; +and the short-lived delights then showered upon me have left indelible +impressions behind. Her voice would cause a frenzy in me that I could +hardly understand. I could have copied the example of some prince of +Lorraine, and held a live coal in the hollow of my hand, if her fingers +passed caressingly through my hair the while. I felt no longer mere +admiration and desire: I was under the spell; I had met my destiny. When +back again under my own roof, I still vaguely saw Foedora in her own +home, and had some indefinable share in her life; if she felt ill, I +suffered too. The next day I used to say to her: + +"'You were not well yesterday.' + +"How often has she not stood before me, called by the power of ecstasy, +in the silence of the night! Sometimes she would break in upon me like +a ray of light, make me drop my pen, and put science and study to flight +in grief and alarm, as she compelled my admiration by the alluring pose +I had seen but a short time before. Sometimes I went to seek her in the +spirit world, and would bow down to her as to a hope, entreating her to +let me hear the silver sounds of her voice, and I would wake at length +in tears. + +"Once, when she had promised to go to the theatre with me, she took it +suddenly into her head to refuse to go out, and begged me to leave her +alone. I was in such despair over the perversity which cost me a day's +work, and (if I must confess it) my last shilling as well, that I went +alone where she was to have been, desiring to see the play she had +wished to see. I had scarcely seated myself when an electric shock went +through me. A voice told me, 'She is here!' I looked round, and saw the +countess hidden in the shadow at the back of her box in the first +tier. My look did not waver; my eyes saw her at once with incredible +clearness; my soul hovered about her life like an insect above its +flower. How had my senses received this warning? There is something +in these inward tremors that shallow people find astonishing, but the +phenomena of our inner consciousness are produced as simple as those of +external vision; so I was not surprised, but much vexed. My studies of +our mental faculties, so little understood, helped me at any rate to +find in my own excitement some living proofs of my theories. There +was something exceedingly odd in this combination of lover and man of +science, of downright idolatry of a woman with the love of knowledge. +The causes of the lover's despair were highly interesting to the man of +science; and the exultant lover, on the other hand, put science far away +from him in his joy. Foedora saw me, and grew grave: I annoyed her. +I went to her box during the first interval, and finding her alone, +I stayed there. Although we had not spoken of love, I foresaw an +explanation. I had not told her my secret, still there was a kind of +understanding between us. She used to tell me her plans for amusement, +and on the previous evening had asked with friendly eagerness if I meant +to call the next day. After any witticism of hers, she would give me +an inquiring glance, as if she had sought to please me alone by it. She +would soothe me if I was vexed; and if she pouted, I had in some sort +a right to ask an explanation. Before she would pardon any blunder, +she would keep me a suppliant for long. All these things that we so +relished, were so many lovers' quarrels. What arch grace she threw into +it all! and what happiness it was to me! + +"But now we stood before each other as strangers, with the close +relation between us both suspended. The countess was glacial: a +presentiment of trouble filled me. + +"'Will you come home with me?' she said, when the play was over. + +"There had been a sudden change in the weather, and sleet was falling +in showers as we went out. Foedora's carriage was unable to reach the +doorway of the theatre. At the sight of a well-dressed woman about to +cross the street, a commissionaire held an umbrella above us, and stood +waiting at the carriage-door for his tip. I would have given ten years +of life just then for a couple of halfpence, but I had not a penny. All +the man in me and all my vainest susceptibilities were wrung with an +infernal pain. The words, 'I haven't a penny about me, my good fellow!' +came from me in the hard voice of thwarted passion; and yet I was that +man's brother in misfortune, as I knew too well; and once I had so +lightly paid away seven hundred thousand francs! The footman pushed the +man aside, and the horses sprang forward. As we returned, Foedora, in +real or feigned abstraction, answered all my questions curtly and by +monosyllables. I said no more; it was a hateful moment. When we reached +her house, we seated ourselves by the hearth, and when the servant had +stirred the fire and left us alone, the countess turned to me with an +inexplicable expression, and spoke. Her manner was almost solemn. + +"'Since my return to France, more than one young man, tempted by my +money, has made proposals to me which would have satisfied my pride. I +have come across men, too, whose attachment was so deep and sincere that +they might have married me even if they had found me the penniless girl +I used to be. Besides these, Monsieur de Valentin, you must know that +new titles and newly-acquired wealth have been also offered to me, and +that I have never received again any of those who were so ill-advised as +to mention love to me. If my regard for you was but slight, I would not +give you this warning, which is dictated by friendship rather than +by pride. A woman lays herself open to a rebuff of some kind, if she +imagines herself to be loved, and declines, before it is uttered, to +listen to language which in its nature implies a compliment. I am well +acquainted with the parts played by Arsinoe and Araminta, and with the +sort of answer I might look for under such circumstances; but I hope +to-day that I shall not find myself misconstrued by a man of no ordinary +character, because I have frankly spoken my mind.' + +"She spoke with the cool self-possession of some attorney or solicitor +explaining the nature of a contract or the conduct of a lawsuit to a +client. There was not the least sign of feeling in the clear soft tones +of her voice. Her steady face and dignified bearing seemed to me now +full of diplomatic reserve and coldness. She had planned this scene, no +doubt, and carefully chosen her words beforehand. Oh, my friend, there +are women who take pleasure in piercing hearts, and deliberately plunge +the dagger back again into the wound; such women as these cannot but +be worshiped, for such women either love or would fain be loved. A day +comes when they make amends for all the pain they gave us; they repay +us for the pangs, the keenness of which they recognize, in joys a +hundred-fold, even as God, they tell us, recompenses our good works. +Does not their perversity spring from the strength of their feelings? +But to be so tortured by a woman, who slaughters you with indifference! +was not the suffering hideous? + +"Foedora did not know it, but in that minute she trampled all my hopes +beneath her feet; she maimed my life and she blighted my future with the +cool indifference and unconscious barbarity of an inquisitive child who +plucks its wings from a butterfly. + +"'Later on,' resumed Foedora, 'you will learn, I hope, the stability of +the affection that I keep for my friends. You will always find that I +have devotion and kindness for them. I would give my life to serve my +friends; but you could only despise me, if I allowed them to make love +to me without return. That is enough. You are the only man to whom I +have spoken such words as these last.' + +"At first I could not speak, or master the tempest that arose within me; +but I soon repressed my emotions in the depths of my soul, and began to +smile. + +"'If I own that I love you,' I said, 'you will banish me at once; if +I plead guilty to indifference, you will make me suffer for it. Women, +magistrates, and priests never quite lay the gown aside. Silence is +non-committal; be pleased then, madame, to approve my silence. You must +have feared, in some degree, to lose me, or I should not have received +this friendly admonition; and with that thought my pride ought to be +satisfied. Let us banish all personal considerations. You are perhaps +the only woman with whom I could discuss rationally a resolution so +contrary to the laws of nature. Considered with regard to your species, +you are a prodigy. Now let us investigate, in good faith, the causes of +this psychological anomaly. Does there exist in you, as in many women, +a certain pride in self, a love of your own loveliness, a refinement of +egoism which makes you shudder at the idea of belonging to another; +is it the thought of resigning your own will and submitting to a +superiority, though only of convention, which displeases you? You +would seem to me a thousand times fairer for it. Can love formerly have +brought you suffering? You probably set some value on your dainty +figure and graceful appearance, and may perhaps wish to avoid the +disfigurements of maternity. Is not this one of your strongest reasons +for refusing a too importunate love? Some natural defect perhaps makes +you insusceptible in spite of yourself? Do not be angry; my study, my +inquiry is absolutely dispassionate. Some are born blind, and nature may +easily have formed women who in like manner are blind, deaf, and dumb to +love. You are really an interesting subject for medical investigation. +You do not know your value. You feel perhaps a very legitimate distaste +for mankind; in that I quite concur--to me they all seem ugly and +detestable. And you are right,' I added, feeling my heart swell within +me; 'how can you do otherwise than despise us? There is not a man living +who is worthy of you.' + +"I will not repeat all the biting words with which I ridiculed her. In +vain; my bitterest sarcasms and keenest irony never made her wince nor +elicited a sign of vexation. She heard me, with the customary smile +upon her lips and in her eyes, the smile that she wore as a part of her +clothing, and that never varied for friends, for mere acquaintances, or +for strangers. + +"'Isn't it very nice of me to allow you to dissect me like this?' she +said at last, as I came to a temporary standstill, and looked at her +in silence. 'You see,' she went on, laughing, 'that I have no foolish +over-sensitiveness about my friendship. Many a woman would shut her door +on you by way of punishing you for your impertinence.' + +"'You could banish me without needing to give me the reasons for your +harshness.' As I spoke I felt that I could kill her if she dismissed me. + +"'You are mad,' she said, smiling still. + +"'Did you never think,' I went on, 'of the effects of passionate love? A +desperate man has often murdered his mistress.' + +"'It is better to die than to live in misery,' she said coolly. 'Such +a man as that would run through his wife's money, desert her, and leave +her at last in utter wretchedness.' + +"This calm calculation dumfounded me. The gulf between us was made +plain; we could never understand each other. + +"'Good-bye,' I said proudly. + +"'Good-bye, till to-morrow,' she answered, with a little friendly bow. + +"For a moment's space I hurled at her in a glance all the love I must +forego; she stood there with than banal smile of hers, the detestable +chill smile of a marble statue, with none of the warmth in it that it +seemed to express. Can you form any idea, my friend, of the pain that +overcame me on the way home through rain and snow, across a league of +icy-sheeted quays, without a hope left? Oh, to think that she not only +had not guessed my poverty, but believed me to be as wealthy as she was, +and likewise borne as softly over the rough ways of life! What failure +and deceit! It was no mere question of money now, but of the fate of all +that lay within me. + +"I went at haphazard, going over the words of our strange conversation +with myself. I got so thoroughly lost in my reflections that I ended by +doubts as to the actual value of words and ideas. But I loved her +all the same; I loved this woman with the untouched heart that might +surrender at any moment--a woman who daily disappointed the expectations +of the previous evening, by appearing as a new mistress on the morrow. + +"As I passed under the gateway of the Institute, a fevered thrill ran +through me. I remembered that I was fasting, and that I had not a penny. +To complete the measure of my misfortune, my hat was spoiled by the +rain. How was I to appear in the drawing-room of a woman of fashion with +an unpresentable hat? I had always cursed the inane and stupid custom +that compels us to exhibit the lining of our hats, and to keep them +always in our hands, but with anxious care I had so far kept mine in a +precarious state of efficiency. It had been neither strikingly new, nor +utterly shabby, neither napless nor over-glossy, and might have passed +for the hat of a frugally given owner, but its artificially prolonged +existence had now reached the final stage, it was crumpled, forlorn, and +completely ruined, a downright rag, a fitting emblem of its master. My +painfully preserved elegance must collapse for want of thirty sous. + +"What unrecognized sacrifices I had made in the past three months for +Foedora! How often I had given the price of a week's sustenance to see +her for a moment! To leave my work and go without food was the least of +it! I must traverse the streets of Paris without getting splashed, run +to escape showers, and reach her rooms at last, as neat and spruce as +any of the coxcombs about her. For a poet and a distracted wooer the +difficulties of this task were endless. My happiness, the course of my +love, might be affected by a speck of mud upon my only white waistcoat! +Oh, to miss the sight of her because I was wet through and bedraggled, +and had not so much as five sous to give to a shoeblack for removing the +least little spot of mud from my boot! The petty pangs of these nameless +torments, which an irritable man finds so great, only strengthened my +passion. + +"The unfortunate must make sacrifices which they may not mention to +women who lead refined and luxurious lives. Such women see things +through a prism that gilds all men and their surroundings. Egoism leads +them to take cheerful views, and fashion makes them cruel; they do +not wish to reflect, lest they lose their happiness, and the absorbing +nature of their pleasures absolves their indifference to the misfortunes +of others. A penny never means millions to them; millions, on the +contrary, seem a mere trifle. Perhaps love must plead his cause by great +sacrifices, but a veil must be lightly drawn across them, they must go +down into silence. So when wealthy men pour out their devotion, +their fortunes, and their lives, they gain somewhat by these commonly +entertained opinions, an additional lustre hangs about their lovers' +follies; their silence is eloquent; there is a grace about the drawn +veil; but my terrible distress bound me over to suffer fearfully or ever +I might speak of my love or of dying for her sake. + +"Was it a sacrifice after all? Was I not richly rewarded by the joy I +took in sacrificing everything to her? There was no commonest event of +my daily life to which the countess had not given importance, had not +overfilled with happiness. I had been hitherto careless of my clothes, +now I respected my coat as if it had been a second self. I should not +have hesitated between bodily harm and a tear in that garment. You must +enter wholly into my circumstances to understand the stormy thoughts, +the gathering frenzy, that shook me as I went, and which, perhaps, were +increased by my walk. I gloated in an infernal fashion which I cannot +describe over the absolute completeness of my wretchedness. I would +have drawn from it an augury of my future, but there is no limit to the +possibilities of misfortune. The door of my lodging-house stood ajar. +A light streamed from the heart-shaped opening cut in the shutters. +Pauline and her mother were sitting up for me and talking. I heard my +name spoken, and listened. + +"'Raphael is much nicer-looking than the student in number seven,' said +Pauline; 'his fair hair is such a pretty color. Don't you think there is +something in his voice, too, I don't know what it is, that gives you a +sort of a thrill? And, then, though he may be a little proud, he is very +kind, and he has such fine manners; I am sure that all the ladies must +be quite wild about him.' + +"'You might be fond of him yourself, to hear you talk,' was Madame +Gaudin's comment. + +"'He is just as dear to me as a brother,' she laughed. 'I should be +finely ungrateful if I felt no friendship for him. Didn't he teach me +music and drawing and grammar, and everything I know in fact? You don't +much notice how I get on, dear mother; but I shall know enough, in a +while, to give lessons myself, and then we can keep a servant.' + +"I stole away softly, made some noise outside, and went into their room +to take the lamp, that Pauline tried to light for me. The dear child had +just poured soothing balm into my wounds. Her outspoken admiration had +given me fresh courage. I so needed to believe in myself and to come +by a just estimate of my advantages. This revival of hope in me perhaps +colored my surroundings. Perhaps also I had never before really looked +at the picture that so often met my eyes, of the two women in their +room; it was a scene such as Flemish painters have reproduced so +faithfully for us, that I admired in its delightful reality. The mother, +with the kind smile upon her lips, sat knitting stockings by the dying +fire; Pauline was painting hand-screens, her brushes and paints, strewn +over the tiny table, made bright spots of color for the eye to dwell +on. When she had left her seat and stood lighting my lamp, one must +have been under the yoke of a terrible passion indeed, not to admire her +faintly flushed transparent hands, the girlish charm of her attitude, +the ideal grace of her head, as the lamplight fell full on her pale +face. Night and silence added to the charms of this industrious vigil +and peaceful interior. The light-heartedness that sustained such +continuous toil could only spring from devout submission and the lofty +feelings that it brings. + +"There was an indescribable harmony between them and their possessions. +The splendor of Foedora's home did not satisfy; it called out all my +worst instincts; something in this lowly poverty and unfeigned goodness +revived me. It may have been that luxury abased me in my own eyes, +while here my self-respect was restored to me, as I sought to extend the +protection that a man is so eager to make felt, over these two women, +who in the bare simplicity of the existence in their brown room seemed +to live wholly in the feelings of their hearts. As I came up to Pauline, +she looked at me in an almost motherly way; her hands shook a little as +she held the lamp, so that the light fell on me and cried: + +"'_Dieu_! how pale you are! and you are wet through! My mother will try +to wipe you dry. Monsieur Raphael,' she went on, after a little pause, +'you are so very fond of milk, and to-night we happen to have some +cream. Here, will you not take some?' + +"She pounced like a kitten, on a china bowl full of milk. She did it so +quickly, and put it before me so prettily, that I hesitated. + +"'You are going to refuse me?' she said, and her tones changed. + +"The pride in each felt for the other's pride. It was Pauline's poverty +that seemed to humiliate her, and to reproach me with my want of +consideration, and I melted at once and accepted the cream that might +have been meant for her morning's breakfast. The poor child tried not to +show her joy, but her eyes sparkled. + +"'I needed it badly,' I said as I sat down. (An anxious look passed over +her face.) 'Do you remember that passage, Pauline, where Bossuet tells +how God gave more abundant reward for a cup of cold water than for a +victory?' + +"'Yes,' she said, her heart beating like some wild bird's in a child's +hands. + +"'Well, as we shall part very soon, now,' I went on in an unsteady +voice, 'you must let me show my gratitude to you and to your mother for +all the care you have taken of me.' + +"'Oh, don't let us cast accounts,' she said laughing. But her laughter +covered an agitation that gave me pain. I went on without appearing to +hear her words: + +"'My piano is one of Erard's best instruments; and you must take it. +Pray accept it without hesitation; I really could not take it with me on +the journey I am about to make.' + +"Perhaps the melancholy tones in which I spoke enlightened the two +women, for they seemed to understand, and eyed me with curiosity and +alarm. Here was the affection that I had looked for in the glacial +regions of the great world, true affection, unostentatious but tender, +and possibly lasting. + +"'Don't take it to heart so,' the mother said; 'stay on here. My husband +is on his way towards us even now,' she went on. 'I looked into the +Gospel of St. John this evening while Pauline hung our door-key in a +Bible from her fingers. The key turned; that means that Gaudin is in +health and doing well. Pauline began again for you and for the young man +in number seven--it turned for you, but not for him. We are all going to +be rich. Gaudin will come back a millionaire. I dreamed once that I saw +him in a ship full of serpents; luckily the water was rough, and that +means gold or precious stones from over-sea.' + +"The silly, friendly words were like the crooning lullaby with which a +mother soothes her sick child; they in a manner calmed me. There was a +pleasant heartiness in the worthy woman's looks and tones, which, if +it could not remove trouble, at any rate soothed and quieted it, and +deadened the pain. Pauline, keener-sighted than her mother, studied me +uneasily; her quick eyes seemed to read my life and my future. I thanked +the mother and daughter by an inclination of the head, and hurried away; +I was afraid I should break down. + +"I found myself alone under my roof, and laid myself down in my misery. +My unhappy imagination suggested numberless baseless projects, and +prescribed impossible resolutions. When a man is struggling in the wreck +of his fortunes, he is not quite without resources, but I was engulfed. +Ah, my dear fellow, we are too ready to blame the wretched. Let us be +less harsh on the results of the most powerful of all social solvents. +Where poverty is absolute there exist no such things as shame or crime, +or virtue or intelligence. I knew not what to do; I was as defenceless +as a maiden on her knees before a beast of prey. A penniless man who +has no ties to bind him is master of himself at any rate, but a luckless +wretch who is in love no longer belongs to himself, and may not take his +own life. Love makes us almost sacred in our own eyes; it is the life +of another that we revere within us; then and so it begins for us the +cruelest trouble of all--the misery with a hope in it, a hope for which +we must even bear our torments. I thought I would go to Rastignac on the +morrow to confide Foedora's strange resolution to him, and with that I +slept. + +"'Ah, ha!' cried Rastignac, as he saw me enter his lodging at nine +o'clock in the morning. 'I know what brings you here. Foedora has +dismissed you. Some kind souls, who were jealous of your ascendency over +the countess, gave out that you were going to be married. Heaven only +knows what follies your rivals have equipped you with, and what slanders +have been directed at you.' + +"'That explains everything!' I exclaimed. I remembered all my +presumptuous speeches, and gave the countess credit for no little +magnanimity. It pleased me to think that I was a miscreant who had not +been punished nearly enough, and I saw nothing in her indulgence but the +long-suffering charity of love. + +"'Not quite so fast,' urged the prudent Gascon; 'Foedora has all the +sagacity natural to a profoundly selfish woman; perhaps she may have +taken your measure while you still coveted only her money and her +splendor; in spite of all your care, she could have read you through and +through. She can dissemble far too well to let any dissimulation pass +undetected. I fear,' he went on, 'that I have brought you into a +bad way. In spite of her cleverness and her tact, she seems to me a +domineering sort of person, like every woman who can only feel pleasure +through her brain. Happiness for her lies entirely in a comfortable life +and in social pleasures; her sentiment is only assumed; she will make +you miserable; you will be her head footman.' + +"He spoke to the deaf. I broke in upon him, disclosing, with an +affectation of light-heartedness, the state of my finances. + +"'Yesterday evening,' he rejoined, 'luck ran against me, and that +carried off all my available cash. But for that trivial mishap, I would +gladly have shared my purse with you. But let us go and breakfast at the +restaurant; perhaps there is good counsel in oysters.' + +"He dressed, and had his tilbury brought round. We went to the Cafe +de Paris like a couple of millionaires, armed with all the audacious +impertinence of the speculator whose capital is imaginary. That devil +of a Gascon quite disconcerted me by the coolness of his manners and his +absolute self-possession. While we were taking coffee after an excellent +and well-ordered repast, a young dandy entered, who did not escape +Rastignac. He had been nodding here and there among the crowd to this or +that young man, distinguished both by personal attractions and elegant +attire, and now he said to me: + +"'Here's your man,' as he beckoned to this gentleman with a wonderful +cravat, who seemed to be looking for a table that suited his ideas. + +"'That rogue has been decorated for bringing out books that he doesn't +understand a word of,' whispered Rastignac; 'he is a chemist, a +historian, a novelist, and a political writer; he has gone halves, +thirds, or quarters in the authorship of I don't know how many plays, +and he is as ignorant as Dom Miguel's mule. He is not a man so much as +a name, a label that the public is familiar with. So he would do well to +avoid shops inscribed with the motto, "_Ici l'on peut ecrire soi-meme_." +He is acute enough to deceive an entire congress of diplomatists. In +a couple of words, he is a moral half-caste, not quite a fraud, nor +entirely genuine. But, hush! he has succeeded already; nobody asks +anything further, and every one calls him an illustrious man.' + +"'Well, my esteemed and excellent friend, and how may Your Intelligence +be?' So Rastignac addressed the stranger as he sat down at a neighboring +table. + +"'Neither well nor ill; I am overwhelmed with work. I have all the +necessary materials for some very curious historical memoirs in my +hands, and I cannot find any one to whom I can ascribe them. It worries +me, for I shall have to be quick about it. Memoirs are falling out of +fashion.' + +"'What are the memoirs--contemporaneous, ancient, or memoirs of the +court, or what?' + +"'They relate to the Necklace affair.' + +"'Now, isn't that a coincidence?' said Rastignac, turning to me and +laughing. He looked again to the literary speculation, and said, +indicating me: + +"'This is M. de Valentin, one of my friends, whom I must introduce to +you as one of our future literary celebrities. He had formerly an aunt, +a marquise, much in favor once at court, and for about two years he has +been writing a Royalist history of the Revolution.' + +"Then, bending over this singular man of business, he went on: + +"'He is a man of talent, and a simpleton that will do your memoirs for +you, in his aunt's name, for a hundred crowns a volume.' + +"'It's a bargain,' said the other, adjusting his cravat. 'Waiter, my +oysters.' + +"'Yes, but you must give me twenty-five louis as commission, and you +will pay him in advance for each volume,' said Rastignac. + +"'No, no. He shall only have fifty crowns on account, and then I shall +be sure of having my manuscript punctually.' + +"Rastignac repeated this business conversation to me in low tones; and +then, without giving me any voice in the matter, he replied: + +"'We agree to your proposal. When can we call upon you to arrange the +affair?' + +"'Oh, well! Come and dine here to-morrow at seven o'clock.' + +"We rose. Rastignac flung some money to the waiter, put the bill in his +pocket, and we went out. I was quite stupified by the flippancy and ease +with which he had sold my venerable aunt, la Marquise de Montbauron. + +"'I would sooner take ship for the Brazils, and give the Indians lessons +in algebra, though I don't know a word of it, than tarnish my family +name.' + +"Rastignac burst out laughing. + +"'How dense you are! Take the fifty crowns in the first instance, and +write the memoirs. When you have finished them, you will decline to +publish them in your aunt's name, imbecile! Madame de Montbauron, with +her hooped petticoat, her rank and beauty, rouge and slippers, and her +death upon the scaffold, is worth a great deal more than six hundred +francs. And then, if the trade will not give your aunt her due, some old +adventurer, or some shady countess or other, will be found to put her +name to the memoirs.' + +"'Oh,' I groaned; 'why did I quit the blameless life in my garret? This +world has aspects that are very vilely dishonorable.' + +"'Yes,' said Rastignac, 'that is all very poetical, but this is a matter +of business. What a child you are! Now, listen to me. As to your work, +the public will decide upon it; and as for my literary middle-man, +hasn't he devoted eight years of his life to obtaining a footing in the +book-trade, and paid heavily for his experience? You divide the money +and the labor of the book with him very unequally, but isn't yours the +better part? Twenty-five louis means as much to you as a thousand francs +does to him. Come, you can write historical memoirs, a work of art +such as never was, since Diderot once wrote six sermons for a hundred +crowns!' + +"'After all,' I said, in agitation, 'I cannot choose but do it. So, +my dear friend, my thanks are due to you. I shall be quite rich with +twenty-five louis.' + +"'Richer than you think,' he laughed. 'If I have my commission from +Finot in this matter, it goes to you, can't you see? Now let us go to +the Bois de Boulogne,' he said; 'we shall see your countess there, and +I will show you the pretty little widow that I am to marry--a charming +woman, an Alsacienne, rather plump. She reads Kant, Schiller, Jean Paul, +and a host of lachrymose books. She has a mania for continually asking +my opinion, and I have to look as if I entered into all this German +sensibility, and to know a pack of ballads--drugs, all of them, that +my doctor absolutely prohibits. As yet I have not been able to wean her +from her literary enthusiasms; she sheds torrents of tears as she reads +Goethe, and I have to weep a little myself to please her, for she has an +income of fifty thousand livres, my dear boy, and the prettiest little +hand and foot in the world. Oh, if she would only say _mon ange_ +and _brouiller_ instead of _mon anche_ and _prouiller_, she would be +perfection!' + +"We saw the countess, radiant amid the splendors of her equipage. The +coquette bowed very graciously to us both, and the smile she gave me +seemed to me to be divine and full of love. I was very happy; I fancied +myself beloved; I had money, a wealth of love in my heart, and my +troubles were over. I was light-hearted, blithe, and content. I found +my friend's lady-love charming. Earth and air and heaven--all +nature--seemed to reflect Foedora's smile for me. + +"As we returned through the Champs-Elysees, we paid a visit +to Rastignac's hatter and tailor. Thanks to the 'Necklace,' my +insignificant peace-footing was to end, and I made formidable +preparations for a campaign. Henceforward I need not shrink from a +contest with the spruce and fashionable young men who made Foedora's +circle. I went home, locked myself in, and stood by my dormer window, +outwardly calm enough, but in reality I bade a last good-bye to the +roofs without. I began to live in the future, rehearsed my life drama, +and discounted love and its happiness. Ah, how stormy life can grow +to be within the four walls of a garret! The soul within us is like a +fairy; she turns straw into diamonds for us; and for us, at a touch of +her wand, enchanted palaces arise, as flowers in the meadows spring up +towards the sun. + +"Towards noon, next day, Pauline knocked gently at my door, and brought +me--who could guess it?--a note from Foedora. The countess asked me to +take her to the Luxembourg, and to go thence to see with her the Museum +and Jardin des Plantes. + +"'The man is waiting for an answer,' said Pauline, after quietly waiting +for a moment. + +"I hastily scrawled my acknowledgements, and Pauline took the note. I +changed my dress. When my toilette was ended, and I looked at myself +with some complaisance, an icy shiver ran through me as I thought: + +"'Will Foedora walk or drive? Will it rain or shine?--No matter, +though,' I said to myself; 'whichever it is, can one ever reckon with +feminine caprice? She will have no money about her, and will want +to give a dozen francs to some little Savoyard because his rags are +picturesque.' + +"I had not a brass farthing, and should have no money till the evening +came. How dearly a poet pays for the intellectual prowess that method +and toil have brought him, at such crises of our youth! Innumerable +painfully vivid thoughts pierced me like barbs. I looked out of my +window; the weather was very unsettled. If things fell out badly, I +might easily hire a cab for the day; but would not the fear lie on me +every moment that I might not meet Finot in the evening? I felt too weak +to endure such fears in the midst of my felicity. Though I felt sure +that I should find nothing, I began a grand search through my room; +I looked for imaginary coins in the recesses of my mattress; I hunted +about everywhere--I even shook out my old boots. A nervous fever seized +me; I looked with wild eyes at the furniture when I had ransacked it +all. Will you understand, I wonder, the excitement that possessed +me when, plunged deep in the listlessness of despair, I opened my +writing-table drawer, and found a fair and splendid ten-franc piece +that shone like a rising star, new and sparkling, and slily hiding in +a cranny between two boards? I did not try to account for its previous +reserve and the cruelty of which it had been guilty in thus lying +hidden; I kissed it for a friend faithful in adversity, and hailed it +with a cry that found an echo, and made me turn sharply, to find Pauline +with a face grown white. + +"'I thought,' she faltered, 'that you had hurt yourself! The man who +brought the letter----' (she broke off as if something smothered her +voice). 'But mother has paid him,' she added, and flitted away like a +wayward, capricious child. Poor little one! I wanted her to share in +my happiness. I seemed to have all the happiness in the world within +me just then; and I would fain have returned to the unhappy, all that I +felt as if I had stolen from them. + +"The intuitive perception of adversity is sound for the most part; the +countess had sent away her carriage. One of those freaks that pretty +women can scarcely explain to themselves had determined her to go on +foot, by way of the boulevards, to the Jardin des Plantes. + +"'It will rain,' I told her, and it pleased her to contradict me. + +"As it fell out, the weather was fine while we went through the +Luxembourg; when we came out, some drops fell from a great cloud, whose +progress I had watched uneasily, and we took a cab. At the Museum I was +about to dismiss the vehicle, and Foedora (what agonies!) asked me not +to do so. But it was like a dream in broad daylight for me, to chat +with her, to wander in the Jardin des Plantes, to stray down the shady +alleys, to feel her hand upon my arm; the secret transports repressed +in me were reduced, no doubt, to a fixed and foolish smile upon my +lips; there was something unreal about it all. Yet in all her movements, +however alluring, whether we stood or whether we walked, there was +nothing either tender or lover-like. When I tried to share in a measure +the action of movement prompted by her life, I became aware of a check, +or of something strange in her that I cannot explain, or an inner +activity concealed in her nature. There is no suavity about the +movements of women who have no soul in them. Our wills were opposed, +and we did not keep step together. Words are wanting to describe this +outward dissonance between two beings; we are not accustomed to read +a thought in a movement. We instinctively feel this phenomenon of our +nature, but it cannot be expressed. + +"I did not dissect my sensations during those violent seizures of +passion," Raphael went on, after a moment of silence, as if he were +replying to an objection raised by himself. "I did not analyze my +pleasures nor count my heartbeats then, as a miser scrutinizes and +weighs his gold pieces. No; experience sheds its melancholy light over +the events of the past to-day, and memory brings these pictures back, +as the sea-waves in fair weather cast up fragment after fragment of the +debris of a wrecked vessel upon the strand. + +"'It is in your power to render me a rather important service,' said the +countess, looking at me in an embarrassed way. 'After confiding in you +my aversion to lovers, I feel myself more at liberty to entreat your +good offices in the name of friendship. Will there not be very much more +merit in obliging me to-day?' she asked, laughing. + +"I looked at her in anguish. Her manner was coaxing, but in no wise +affectionate; she felt nothing for me; she seemed to be playing a part, +and I thought her a consummate actress. Then all at once my hopes awoke +once more, at a single look and word. Yet if reviving love expressed +itself in my eyes, she bore its light without any change in the +clearness of her own; they seemed, like a tiger's eyes, to have a sheet +of metal behind them. I used to hate her in such moments. + +"'The influence of the Duc de Navarreins would be very useful to me, +with an all-powerful person in Russia,' she went on, persuasion in every +modulation of her voice, 'whose intervention I need in order to have +justice done me in a matter that concerns both my fortune and my +position in the world, that is to say, the recognition of my marriage +by the Emperor. Is not the Duc de Navarreins a cousin of yours? A letter +from him would settle everything.' + +"'I am yours,' I answered; 'command me.' + +"'You are very nice,' she said, pressing my hand. 'Come and have dinner +with me, and I will tell you everything, as if you were my confessor.' + +"So this discreet, suspicious woman, who had never been heard to speak a +word about her affairs to any one, was going to consult me. + +"'Oh, how dear to me is this silence that you have imposed on me!' I +cried; 'but I would rather have had some sharper ordeal still.' And +she smiled upon the intoxication in my eyes; she did not reject my +admiration in any way; surely she loved me! + +"Fortunately, my purse held just enough to satisfy her cab-man. The day +spent in her house, alone with her, was delicious; it was the first time +that I had seen her in this way. Hitherto we had always been kept apart +by the presence of others, and by her formal politeness and reserved +manners, even during her magnificent dinners; but now it was as if I +lived beneath her own roof--I had her all to myself, so to speak. My +wandering fancy broke down barriers, arranged the events of life to my +liking, and steeped me in happiness and love. I seemed to myself her +husband, I liked to watch her busied with little details; it was a +pleasure to me even to see her take off her bonnet and shawl. She left +me alone for a little, and came back, charming, with her hair newly +arranged; and this dainty change of toilette had been made for me! + +"During the dinner she lavished attention upon me, and put charm without +end into those numberless trifles to all seeming, that make up half of +our existence nevertheless. As we sat together before a crackling +fire, on silken cushions surrounded by the most desirable creations +of Oriental luxury; as I saw this woman whose famous beauty made every +heart beat, so close to me; an unapproachable woman who was talking and +bringing all her powers of coquetry to bear upon me; then my blissful +pleasure rose almost to the point of suffering. To my vexation, I +recollected the important business to be concluded; I determined to go +to keep the appointment made for me for this evening. + +"'So soon?' she said, seeing me take my hat. + +"She loved me, then! or I thought so at least, from the bland tones in +which those two words were uttered. I would then have bartered a couple +of years of life for every hour she chose to grant to me, and so prolong +my ecstasy. My happiness was increased by the extent of the money I +sacrificed. It was midnight before she dismissed me. But on the morrow, +for all that, my heroism cost me a good many remorseful pangs; I was +afraid the affair of the Memoirs, now of such importance for me, might +have fallen through, and rushed off to Rastignac. We found the nominal +author of my future labors just getting up. + +"Finot read over a brief agreement to me, in which nothing whatever was +said about my aunt, and when it had been signed he paid me down fifty +crowns, and the three of us breakfasted together. I had only thirty +francs left over, when I had paid for my new hat, for sixty tickets at +thirty sous each, and settled my debts; but for some days to come the +difficulties of living were removed. If I had but listened to Rastignac, +I might have had abundance by frankly adopting the 'English system.' He +really wanted to establish my credit by setting me to raise loans, on +the theory that borrowing is the basis of credit. To hear him talk, the +future was the largest and most secure kind of capital in the world. +My future luck was hypothecated for the benefit of my creditors, and he +gave my custom to his tailor, an artist, and a young man's tailor, who +was to leave me in peace until I married. + +"The monastic life of study that I had led for three years past ended +on this day. I frequented Foedora's house very diligently, and tried to +outshine the heroes or the swaggerers to be found in her circle. When +I believed that I had left poverty for ever behind me, I regained my +freedom of mind, humiliated my rivals, and was looked upon as a very +attractive, dazzling, and irresistible sort of man. But acute folk used +to say with regard to me, 'A fellow as clever as that will keep all his +enthusiasms in his brain,' and charitably extolled my faculties at +the expense of my feelings. 'Isn't he lucky, not to be in love!' they +exclaimed. 'If he were, could he be so light-hearted and animated?' Yet +in Foedora's presence I was as dull as love could make me. When I was +alone with her, I had not a word to say, or if I did speak, I renounced +love; and I affected gaiety but ill, like a courtier who has a bitter +mortification to hide. I tried in every way to make myself indispensable +in her life, and necessary to her vanity and to her comfort; I was a +plaything at her pleasure, a slave always at her side. And when I had +frittered away the day in this way, I went back to my work at night, +securing merely two or three hours' sleep in the early morning. + +"But I had not, like Rastignac, the 'English system' at my finger-ends, +and I very soon saw myself without a penny. I fell at once into that +precarious way of life which industriously hides cold and miserable +depths beneath an elusive surface of luxury; I was a coxcomb without +conquests, a penniless fop, a nameless gallant. The old sufferings were +renewed, but less sharply; no doubt I was growing used to the painful +crisis. Very often my sole diet consisted of the scanty provision of +cakes and tea that is offered in drawing-rooms, or one of the countess' +great dinners must sustain me for two whole days. I used all my time, +and exerted every effort and all my powers of observation, to penetrate +the impenetrable character of Foedora. Alternate hope and despair had +swayed my opinions; for me she was sometimes the tenderest, sometimes +the most unfeeling of women. But these transitions from joy to sadness +became unendurable; I sought to end the horrible conflict within me by +extinguishing love. By the light of warning gleams my soul sometimes +recognized the gulfs that lay between us. The countess confirmed all my +fears; I had never yet detected any tear in her eyes; an affecting scene +in a play left her smiling and unmoved. All her instincts were selfish; +she could not divine another's joy or sorrow. She had made a fool of me, +in fact! + +"I had rejoiced over a sacrifice to make for her, and almost humiliated +myself in seeking out my kinsman, the Duc de Navarreins, a selfish man +who was ashamed of my poverty, and had injured me too deeply not to hate +me. He received me with the polite coldness that makes every word and +gesture seem an insult; he looked so ill at ease that I pitied him. I +blushed for this pettiness amid grandeur, and penuriousness surrounded +by luxury. He began to talk to me of his heavy losses in the three per +cents, and then I told him the object of my visit. The change in his +manners, hitherto glacial, which now gradually, became affectionate, +disgusted me. + +"Well, he called upon the countess, and completely eclipsed me with her. + +"On him Foedora exercised spells and witcheries unheard of; she drew him +into her power, and arranged her whole mysterious business with him; I +was left out, I heard not a word of it; she had made a tool of me! She +did not seem to be aware of my existence while my cousin was present; +she received me less cordially perhaps than when I was first presented +to her. One evening she chose to mortify me before the duke by a look, a +gesture, that it is useless to try to express in words. I went away with +tears in my eyes, planning terrible and outrageous schemes of vengeance +without end. + +"I often used to go with her to the theatre. Love utterly absorbed me +as I sat beside her; as I looked at her I used to give myself up to the +pleasure of listening to the music, putting all my soul into the double +joy of love and of hearing every emotion of my heart translated into +musical cadences. It was my passion that filled the air and the stage, +that was triumphant everywhere but with my mistress. Then I would take +Foedora's hand. I used to scan her features and her eyes, imploring of +them some indication that one blended feeling possessed us both, seeking +for the sudden harmony awakened by the power of music, which makes +our souls vibrate in unison; but her hand was passive, her eyes said +nothing. + +"When the fire that burned in me glowed too fiercely from the face +I turned upon her, she met it with that studied smile of hers, the +conventional expression that sits on the lips of every portrait in every +exhibition. She was not listening to the music. The divine pages of +Rossini, Cimarosa, or Zingarelli called up no emotion, gave no voice to +any poetry in her life; her soul was a desert. + +"Foedora presented herself as a drama before a drama. Her lorgnette +traveled restlessly over the boxes; she was restless too beneath the +apparent calm; fashion tyrannized over her; her box, her bonnet, her +carriage, her own personality absorbed her entirely. My merciless +knowledge thoroughly tore away all my illusions. If good breeding +consists in self-forgetfulness and consideration for others, in +constantly showing gentleness in voice and bearing, in pleasing others, +and in making them content in themselves, all traces of her plebeian +origin were not yet obliterated in Foedora, in spite of her cleverness. +Her self-forgetfulness was a sham, her manners were not innate but +painfully acquired, her politeness was rather subservient. And yet for +those she singled out, her honeyed words expressed natural kindness, her +pretentious exaggeration was exalted enthusiasm. I alone had scrutinized +her grimacings, and stripped away the thin rind that sufficed to conceal +her real nature from the world; her trickery no longer deceived me; I +had sounded the depths of that feline nature. I blushed for her when +some donkey or other flattered and complimented her. And yet I loved her +through it all! I hoped that her snows would melt with the warmth of a +poet's love. If I could only have made her feel all the greatness that +lies in devotion, then I should have seen her perfected, she would have +been an angel. I loved her as a man, a lover, and an artist; if it had +been necessary not to love her so that I might win her, some cool-headed +coxcomb, some self-possessed calculator would perhaps have had an +advantage over me. She was so vain and sophisticated, that the language +of vanity would appeal to her; she would have allowed herself to be +taken in the toils of an intrigue; a hard, cold nature would have gained +a complete ascendency over her. Keen grief had pierced me to my very +soul, as she unconsciously revealed her absolute love of self. I seemed +to see her as she one day would be, alone in the world, with no one to +whom she could stretch her hand, with no friendly eyes for her own +to meet and rest upon. I was bold enough to set this before her one +evening; I painted in vivid colors her lonely, sad, deserted old age. +Her comment on this prospect of so terrible a revenge of thwarted nature +was horrible. + +"'I shall always have money,' she said; 'and with money we can always +inspire such sentiments as are necessary for our comfort in those about +us.' + +"I went away confounded by the arguments of luxury, by the reasoning +of this woman of the world in which she lived; and blamed myself for +my infatuated idolatry. I myself had not loved Pauline because she +was poor; and had not the wealthy Foedora a right to repulse Raphael? +Conscience is our unerring judge until we finally stifle it. A specious +voice said within me, 'Foedora is neither attracted to nor repulses any +one; she has her liberty, but once upon a time she sold herself to the +Russian count, her husband or her lover, for gold. But temptation is +certain to enter into her life. Wait till that moment comes!' She lived +remote from humanity, in a sphere apart, in a hell or a heaven of +her own; she was neither frail nor virtuous. This feminine enigma in +embroideries and cashmeres had brought into play every emotion of the +human heart in me--pride, ambition, love, curiosity. + +"There was a craze just then for praising a play at a little Boulevard +theatre, prompted perhaps by a wish to appear original that besets us +all, or due to some freak of fashion. The countess showed some signs of +a wish to see the floured face of the actor who had so delighted several +people of taste, and I obtained the honor of taking her to a first +presentation of some wretched farce or other. A box scarcely cost five +francs, but I had not a brass farthing. I was but half-way through +the volume of Memoirs; I dared not beg for assistance of Finot, and +Rastignac, my providence, was away. These constant perplexities were the +bane of my life. + +"We had once come out of the theatre when it was raining heavily, +Foedora had called a cab for me before I could escape from her show +of concern; she would not admit any of my excuses--my liking for wet +weather, and my wish to go to the gaming-table. She did not read my +poverty in my embarrassed attitude, or in my forced jests. My eyes would +redden, but she did not understand a look. A young man's life is at the +mercy of the strangest whims! At every revolution of the wheels during +the journey, thoughts that burned stirred in my heart. I tried to pull +up a plank from the bottom of the vehicle, hoping to slip through the +hole into the street; but finding insuperable obstacles, I burst into a +fit of laughter, and then sat stupefied in calm dejection, like a man in +a pillory. When I reached my lodging, Pauline broke in through my first +stammering words with: + +"'If you haven't any money----?' + +"Ah, the music of Rossini was as nothing compared with those words. But +to return to the performance at the Funambules. + +"I thought of pawning the circlet of gold round my mother's portrait +in order to escort the countess. Although the pawnbroker loomed in +my thoughts as one of the doors of a convict's prison, I would rather +myself have carried my bed thither than have begged for alms. There is +something so painful in the expression of a man who asks money of you! +There are loans that mulct us of our self-respect, just as some rebuffs +from a friend's lips sweep away our last illusion. + +"Pauline was working; her mother had gone to bed. I flung a stealthy +glance over the bed; the curtains were drawn back a little; Madame +Gaudin was in a deep sleep, I thought, when I saw her quiet, sallow +profile outlined against the pillow. + +"'You are in trouble?' Pauline said, dipping her brush into the +coloring. + +"'It is in your power to do me a great service, my dear child,' I +answered. + +"The gladness in her eyes frightened me. + +"'Is it possible that she loves me?' I thought. 'Pauline,' I began. +I went and sat near to her, so as to study her. My tones had been so +searching that she read my thought; her eyes fell, and I scrutinized +her face. It was so pure and frank that I fancied I could see as clearly +into her heart as into my own. + +"'Do you love me?' I asked. + +"'A little,--passionately--not a bit!' she cried. + +"Then she did not love me. Her jesting tones, and a little gleeful +movement that escaped her, expressed nothing beyond a girlish, blithe +goodwill. I told her about my distress and the predicament in which I +found myself, and asked her to help me. + +"'You do not wish to go to the pawnbroker's yourself, M. Raphael,' she +answered, 'and yet you would send me!' + +"I blushed in confusion at the child's reasoning. She took my hand in +hers as if she wanted to compensate for this home-truth by her light +touch upon it. + +"'Oh, I would willingly go,' she said, 'but it is not necessary. I found +two five-franc pieces at the back of the piano, that had slipped without +your knowledge between the frame and the keyboard, and I laid them on +your table.' + +"'You will soon be coming into some money, M. Raphael,' said the kind +mother, showing her face between the curtains, 'and I can easily lend +you a few crowns meanwhile.' + +"'Oh, Pauline!' I cried, as I pressed her hand, 'how I wish that I were +rich!' + +"'Bah! why should you?' she said petulantly. Her hand shook in mine with +the throbbing of her pulse; she snatched it away, and looked at both of +mine. + +"'You will marry a rich wife,' she said, 'but she will give you a great +deal of trouble. Ah, _Dieu_! she will be your death,--I am sure of it.' + +"In her exclamation there was something like belief in her mother's +absurd superstitions. + +"'You are very credulous, Pauline!' + +"'The woman whom you will love is going to kill you--there is no doubt +of it,' she said, looking at me with alarm. + +"She took up her brush again and dipped it in the color; her great +agitation was evident; she looked at me no longer. I was ready to give +credence just then to superstitious fancies; no man is utterly wretched +so long as he is superstitious; a belief of that kind is often in +reality a hope. + +"I found that those two magnificent five-franc pieces were lying, in +fact, upon my table when I reached my room. During the first confused +thoughts of early slumber, I tried to audit my accounts so as to explain +this unhoped-for windfall; but I lost myself in useless calculations, +and slept. Just as I was leaving my room to engage a box the next +morning, Pauline came to see me. + +"'Perhaps your ten francs is not enough,' said the amiable, kind-hearted +girl; 'my mother told me to offer you this money. Take it, please, take +it!' + +"She laid three crowns upon the table, and tried to escape, but I would +not let her go. Admiration dried the tears that sprang to my eyes. + +"'You are an angel, Pauline,' I said. 'It is not the loan that touches +me so much as the delicacy with which it is offered. I used to wish for +a rich wife, a fashionable woman of rank; and now, alas! I would +rather possess millions, and find some girl, as poor as you are, with +a generous nature like your own; and I would renounce a fatal passion +which will kill me. Perhaps what you told me will come true.' + +"'That is enough,' she said, and fled away; the fresh trills of her +birdlike voice rang up the staircase. + +"'She is very happy in not yet knowing love,' I said to myself, thinking +of the torments I had endured for many months past. + +"Pauline's fifteen francs were invaluable to me. Foedora, thinking of +the stifling odor of the crowded place where we were to spend several +hours, was sorry that she had not brought a bouquet; I went in search of +flowers for her, as I had laid already my life and my fate at her feet. +With a pleasure in which compunction mingled, I gave her a bouquet. I +learned from its price the extravagance of superficial gallantry in +the world. But very soon she complained of the heavy scent of a Mexican +jessamine. The interior of the theatre, the bare bench on which she +was to sit, filled her with intolerable disgust; she upbraided me for +bringing her there. Although she sat beside me, she wished to go, and +she went. I had spent sleepless nights, and squandered two months of +my life for her, and I could not please her. Never had that tormenting +spirit been more unfeeling or more fascinating. + +"I sat beside her in the cramped back seat of the vehicle; all the way I +could feel her breath on me and the contact of her perfumed glove; I +saw distinctly all her exceeding beauty; I inhaled a vague scent of +orris-root; so wholly a woman she was, with no touch of womanhood. Just +then a sudden gleam of light lit up the depths of this mysterious life +for me. I thought all at once of a book just published by a poet, +a genuine conception of the artist, in the shape of the statue of +Polycletus. + +"I seemed to see that monstrous creation, at one time an officer, +breaking in a spirited horse; at another, a girl, who gives herself up +to her toilette and breaks her lovers' hearts; or again, a false lover +driving a timid and gentle maid to despair. Unable to analyze Foedora +by any other process, I told her this fanciful story; but no hint of +her resemblance to this poetry of the impossible crossed her--it simply +diverted her; she was like a child over a story from the _Arabian +Nights_. + +"'Foedora must be shielded by some talisman,' I thought to myself as +I went back, 'or she could not resist the love of a man of my age, the +infectious fever of that splendid malady of the soul. Is Foedora, like +Lady Delacour, a prey to a cancer? Her life is certainly an unnatural +one.' + +"I shuddered at the thought. Then I decided on a plan, at once the +wildest and the most rational that lover ever dreamed of. I would study +this woman from a physical point of view, as I had already studied her +intellectually, and to this end I made up my mind to spend a night in +her room without her knowledge. This project preyed upon me as a thirst +for revenge gnaws at the heart of a Corsican monk. This is how I carried +it out. On the days when Foedora received, her rooms were far too +crowded for the hall-porter to keep the balance even between goers and +comers; I could remain in the house, I felt sure, without causing a +scandal in it, and I waited the countess' coming soiree with impatience. +As I dressed I put a little English penknife into my waistcoat pocket, +instead of a poniard. That literary implement, if found upon me, could +awaken no suspicion, but I knew not whither my romantic resolution might +lead, and I wished to be prepared. + +"As soon as the rooms began to fill, I entered the bedroom and examined +the arrangements. The inner and outer shutters were closed; this was +a good beginning; and as the waiting-maid might come to draw back the +curtains that hung over the windows, I pulled them together. I was +running great risks in venturing to manoeuvre beforehand in this way, +but I had accepted the situation, and had deliberately reckoned with its +dangers. + +"About midnight I hid myself in the embrasure of the window. I tried to +scramble on to a ledge of the wainscoting, hanging on by the fastening +of the shutters with my back against the wall, in such a position that +my feet could not be visible. When I had carefully considered my points +of support, and the space between me and the curtains, I had become +sufficiently acquainted with all the difficulties of my position to +stay in it without fear of detection if undisturbed by cramp, coughs, +or sneezings. To avoid useless fatigue, I remained standing until the +critical moment, when I must hang suspended like a spider in its web. +The white-watered silk and muslin of the curtains spread before me in +great pleats like organ-pipes. With my penknife I cut loopholes in them, +through which I could see. + +"I heard vague murmurs from the salons, the laughter and the louder +tones of the speakers. The smothered commotion and vague uproar lessened +by slow degrees. One man and another came for his hat from the countess' +chest of drawers, close to where I stood. I shivered, if the curtains +were disturbed, at the thought of the mischances consequent on the +confused and hasty investigations made by the men in a hurry to depart, +who were rummaging everywhere. When I experienced no misfortunes of this +kind, I augured well of my enterprise. An old wooer of Foedora's came +for the last hat; he thought himself quite alone, looked at the bed, +and heaved a great sigh, accompanied by some inaudible exclamation, into +which he threw sufficient energy. In the boudoir close by, the countess, +finding only some five or six intimate acquaintances about her, proposed +tea. The scandals for which existing society has reserved the little +faculty of belief that it retains, mingled with epigrams and trenchant +witticisms, and the clatter of cups and spoons. Rastignac drew roars of +laughter by merciless sarcasms at the expense of my rivals. + +"'M. de Rastignac is a man with whom it is better not to quarrel,' said +the countess, laughing. + +"'I am quite of that opinion,' was his candid reply. 'I have always +been right about my aversions--and my friendships as well,' he added. +'Perhaps my enemies are quite as useful to me as my friends. I have made +a particular study of modern phraseology, and of the natural craft +that is used in all attack or defence. Official eloquence is one of our +perfect social products. + +"'One of your friends is not clever, so you speak of his integrity and +his candor. Another's work is heavy; you introduce it as a piece of +conscientious labor; and if the book is ill written, you extol the ideas +it contains. Such an one is treacherous and fickle, slips through +your fingers every moment; bah! he is attractive, bewitching, he is +delightful! Suppose they are enemies, you fling every one, dead or +alive, in their teeth. You reverse your phraseology for their benefit, +and you are as keen in detecting their faults as you were before adroit +in bringing out the virtues of your friends. This way of using the +mental lorgnette is the secret of conversation nowadays, and the whole +art of the complete courtier. If you neglect it, you might as well go +out as an unarmed knight-banneret to fight against men in armor. And I +make use of it, and even abuse it at times. So we are respected--I and +my friends; and, moreover, my sword is quite as sharp as my tongue.' + +"One of Foedora's most fervid worshipers, whose presumption was +notorious, and who even made it contribute to his success, took up the +glove thrown down so scornfully by Rastignac. He began an unmeasured +eulogy of me, my performances, and my character. Rastignac had +overlooked this method of detraction. His sarcastic encomiums misled +the countess, who sacrificed without mercy; she betrayed my secrets, and +derided my pretensions and my hopes, to divert her friends. + +"'There is a future before him,' said Rastignac. 'Some day he may be in +a position to take a cruel revenge; his talents are at least equal to +his courage; and I should consider those who attack him very rash, for +he has a good memory----' + +"'And writes Memoirs,' put in the countess, who seemed to object to the +deep silence that prevailed. + +"'Memoirs of a sham countess, madame,' replied Rastignac. 'Another sort +of courage is needed to write that sort of thing.' + +"'I give him credit for plenty of courage,' she answered; 'he is +faithful to me.' + +"I was greatly tempted to show myself suddenly among the railers, like +the shade of Banquo in Macbeth. I should have lost a mistress, but I +had a friend! But love inspired me all at once, with one of those +treacherous and fallacious subtleties that it can use to soothe all our +pangs. + +"If Foedora loved me, I thought, she would be sure to disguise her +feelings by some mocking jest. How often the heart protests against a +lie on the lips! + +"Well, very soon my audacious rival, left alone with the countess, rose +to go. + +"'What! already?' asked she in a coaxing voice that set my heart +beating. 'Will you not give me a few more minutes? Have you nothing more +to say to me? will you never sacrifice any of your pleasures for me?' + +"He went away. + +"'Ah!' she yawned; 'how very tiresome they all are!' + +"She pulled a cord energetically till the sound of a bell rang through +the place; then, humming a few notes of _Pria che spunti_, the countess +entered her room. No one had ever heard her sing; her muteness had +called forth the wildest explanations. She had promised her first lover, +so it was said, who had been held captive by her talent, and whose +jealousy over her stretched beyond his grave, that she would never allow +others to experience a happiness that he wished to be his and his alone. + +"I exerted every power of my soul to catch the sounds. Higher and higher +rose the notes; Foedora's life seemed to dilate within her; her throat +poured forth all its richest tones; something well-nigh divine entered +into the melody. There was a bright purity and clearness of tone in the +countess' voice, a thrilling harmony which reached the heart and stirred +its pulses. Musicians are seldom unemotional; a woman who could sing +like that must know how to love indeed. Her beautiful voice made one +more puzzle in a woman mysterious enough before. I beheld her then, as +plainly as I see you at this moment. She seemed to listen to herself, to +experience a secret rapture of her own; she felt, as it were, an ecstasy +like that of love. + +"She stood before the hearth during the execution of the principal theme +of the _rondo_; and when she ceased her face changed. She looked tired; +her features seemed to alter. She had laid the mask aside; her part as +an actress was over. Yet the faded look that came over her beautiful +face, a result either of this performance or of the evening's fatigues, +had its charms, too. + +"'This is her real self,' I thought. + +"She set her foot on a bronze bar of the fender as if to warm it, took +off her gloves, and drew over her head the gold chain from which her +bejeweled scent-bottle hung. It gave me a quite indescribable pleasure +to watch the feline grace of every movement; the supple grace a cat +displays as it adjusts its toilette in the sun. She looked at herself +in the mirror and said aloud ill-humoredly--'I did not look well this +evening, my complexion is going with alarming rapidity; perhaps I +ought to keep earlier hours, and give up this life of dissipation. Does +Justine mean to trifle with me?' She rang again; her maid hurried in. +Where she had been I cannot tell; she came in by a secret staircase. +I was anxious to make a study of her. I had lodged accusations, in +my romantic imaginings, against this invisible waiting-woman, a tall, +well-made brunette. + +"'Did madame ring?' + +"'Yes, twice,' answered Foedora; 'are you really growing deaf nowadays?' + +"'I was preparing madame's milk of almonds.' + +"Justine knelt down before her, unlaced her sandals and drew them off, +while her mistress lay carelessly back on her cushioned armchair beside +the fire, yawned, and scratched her head. Every movement was perfectly +natural; there was nothing whatever to indicate the secret sufferings or +emotions with which I had credited her. + +"'George must be in love!' she remarked. 'I shall dismiss him. He has +drawn the curtains again to-night. What does he mean by it?' + +"All the blood in my veins rushed to my heart at this observation, but +no more was said about curtains. + +"'Life is very empty,' the countess went on. 'Ah! be careful not to +scratch me as you did yesterday. Just look here, I still have the marks +of your nails about me,' and she held out a silken knee. She thrust her +bare feet into velvet slippers bound with swan's-down, and unfastened +her dress, while Justine prepared to comb her hair. + +"'You ought to marry, madame, and have children.' + +"'Children!' she cried; 'it wants no more than that to finish me at +once; and a husband! What man is there to whom I could----? Was my hair +well arranged to-night?' + +"'Not particularly.' + +"'You are a fool!' + +"'That way of crimping your hair too much is the least becoming way +possible for you. Large, smooth curls suit you a great deal better.' + +"'Really?' + +"'Yes, really, madame; that wavy style only looks nice in fair hair.' + +"'Marriage? never, never! Marriage is a commercial arrangement, for +which I was never made.' + +"What a disheartening scene for a lover! Here was a lonely woman, +without friends or kin, without the religion of love, without faith in +any affection. Yet however slightly she might feel the need to pour +out her heart, a craving that every human being feels, it could only +be satisfied by gossiping with her maid, by trivial and indifferent +talk.... I grieved for her. + +"Justine unlaced her. I watched her carefully when she was at last +unveiled. Her maidenly form, in its rose-tinged whiteness, was visible +through her shift in the taper light, as dazzling as some silver statue +behind its gauze covering. No, there was no defect that need shrink from +the stolen glances of love. Alas, a fair form will overcome the stoutest +resolutions! + +"The maid lighted the taper in the alabaster sconce that hung before +the bed, while her mistress sat thoughtful and silent before the fire. +Justine went for a warming-pan, turned down the bed, and helped to lay +her mistress in it; then, after some further time spent in punctiliously +rendering various services that showed how seriously Foedora respected +herself, her maid left her. The countess turned to and fro several +times, and sighed; she was ill at ease; faint, just perceptible sounds, +like sighs of impatience, escaped from her lips. She reached out a hand +to the table, and took a flask from it, from which she shook four or +five drops of some brown liquid into some milk before taking it; again +there followed some painful sighs, and the exclamation, '_Mon Dieu_!' + +"The cry, and the tone in which it was uttered, wrung my heart. By +degrees she lay motionless. This frightened me; but very soon I heard +a sleeper's heavy, regular breathing. I drew the rustling silk curtains +apart, left my post, went to the foot of the bed, and gazed at her with +feelings that I cannot define. She was so enchanting as she lay like a +child, with her arm above her head; but the sweetness of the fair, +quiet visage, surrounded by the lace, only irritated me. I had not been +prepared for the torture to which I was compelled to submit. + +"'_Mon Dieu_!' that scrap of a thought which I understood not, but must +even take as my sole light, had suddenly modified my opinion of Foedora. +Trite or profoundly significant, frivolous or of deep import, the words +might be construed as expressive of either pleasure or pain, of physical +or of mental suffering. Was it a prayer or a malediction, a forecast or +a memory, a fear or a regret? A whole life lay in that utterance, a life +of wealth or of penury; perhaps it contained a crime! + +"The mystery that lurked beneath this fair semblance of womanhood grew +afresh; there were so many ways of explaining Foedora, that she became +inexplicable. A sort of language seemed to flow from between her lips. +I put thoughts and feelings into the accidents of her breathing, whether +weak or regular, gentle, or labored. I shared her dreams; I would +fain have divined her secrets by reading them through her slumber. I +hesitated among contradictory opinions and decisions without number. +I could not deny my heart to the woman I saw before me, with the calm, +pure beauty in her face. I resolved to make one more effort. If I told +her the story of my life, my love, my sacrifices, might I not awaken +pity in her or draw a tear from her who never wept? + +"As I set all my hopes on this last experiment, the sounds in the +streets showed that day was at hand. For a moment's space I pictured +Foedora waking to find herself in my arms. I could have stolen softly +to her side and slipped them about her in a close embrace. Resolved +to resist the cruel tyranny of this thought, I hurried into the salon, +heedless of any sounds I might make; but, luckily, I came upon a secret +door leading to a little staircase. As I expected, the key was in the +lock; I slammed the door, went boldly out into the court, and gained +the street in three bounds, without looking round to see whether I was +observed. + +"A dramatist was to read a comedy at the countess' house in two days' +time; I went thither, intending to outstay the others, so as to make a +rather singular request to her; I meant to ask her to keep the following +evening for me alone, and to deny herself to other comers; but when I +found myself alone with her, my courage failed. Every tick of the clock +alarmed me. It wanted only a quarter of an hour of midnight. + +"'If I do not speak,' I thought to myself, 'I must smash my head against +the corner of the mantelpiece.' + +"I gave myself three minutes' grace; the three minutes went by, and +I did not smash my head upon the marble; my heart grew heavy, like a +sponge with water. + +"'You are exceedingly amusing,' said she. + +"'Ah, madame, if you could but understand me!' I answered. + +"'What is the matter with you?' she asked. 'You are turning pale.' + +"'I am hesitating to ask a favor of you.' + +"Her gesture revived my courage. I asked her to make the appointment +with me. + +"'Willingly,' she answered' 'but why will you not speak to me now?' + +"'To be candid with you, I ought to explain the full scope of your +promise: I want to spend this evening by your side, as if we were +brother and sister. Have no fear; I am aware of your antipathies; you +must have divined me sufficiently to feel sure that I should wish you +to do nothing that could be displeasing to you; presumption, moreover, +would not thus approach you. You have been a friend to me, you have +shown me kindness and great indulgence; know, therefore, that to-morrow +I must bid you farewell.--Do not take back your word,' I exclaimed, +seeing her about to speak, and I went away. + +"At eight o'clock one evening towards the end of May, Foedora and I were +alone together in her gothic boudoir. I feared no longer; I was secure +of happiness. My mistress should be mine, or I would seek a refuge in +death. I had condemned my faint-hearted love, and a man who acknowledges +his weakness is strong indeed. + +"The countess, in her blue cashmere gown, was reclining on a sofa, with +her feet on a cushion. She wore an Oriental turban such as painters +assign to early Hebrews; its strangeness added an indescribable +coquettish grace to her attractions. A transitory charm seemed to have +laid its spell on her face; it might have furnished the argument that +at every instant we become new and unparalleled beings, without any +resemblance to the _us_ of the future or of the past. I had never yet +seen her so radiant. + +"'Do you know that you have piqued my curiosity?' she said, laughing. + +"'I will not disappoint it,' I said quietly, as I seated myself near +to her and took the hand that she surrendered to me. 'You have a very +beautiful voice!' + +"'You have never heard me sing!' she exclaimed, starting involuntarily +with surprise. + +"'I will prove that it is quite otherwise, whenever it is necessary. Is +your delightful singing still to remain a mystery? Have no fear, I do +not wish to penetrate it.' + +"We spent about an hour in familiar talk. While I adopted the attitude +and manner of a man to whom Foedora must refuse nothing, I showed her +all a lover's deference. Acting in this way, I received a favor--I was +allowed to kiss her hand. She daintily drew off the glove, and my whole +soul was dissolved and poured forth in that kiss. I was steeped in the +bliss of an illusion in which I tried to believe. + +"Foedora lent herself most unexpectedly to my caress and my flatteries. +Do not accuse me of faint-heartedness; if I had gone a step beyond these +fraternal compliments, the claws would have been out of the sheath and +into me. We remained perfectly silent for nearly ten minutes. I was +admiring her, investing her with the charms she had not. She was mine +just then, and mine only,--this enchanting being was mine, as was +permissible, in my imagination; my longing wrapped her round and +held her close; in my soul I wedded her. The countess was subdued and +fascinated by my magnetic influence. Ever since I have regretted that +this subjugation was not absolute; but just then I yearned for her soul, +her heart alone, and for nothing else. I longed for an ideal and perfect +happiness, a fair illusion that cannot last for very long. At last I +spoke, feeling that the last hours of my frenzy were at hand. + +"'Hear me, madame. I love you, and you know it; I have said so a hundred +times; you must have understood me. I would not take upon me the airs +of a coxcomb, nor would I flatter you, nor urge myself upon you like a +fool; I would not owe your love to such arts as these! so I have been +misunderstood. What sufferings have I not endured for your sake! For +these, however, you were not to blame; but in a few minutes you shall +decide for yourself. There are two kinds of poverty, madame. One kind +openly walks the street in rags, an unconscious imitator of Diogenes, +on a scanty diet, reducing life to its simplest terms; he is happier, +maybe, than the rich; he has fewer cares at any rate, and accepts such +portions of the world as stronger spirits refuse. Then there is poverty +in splendor, a Spanish pauper, concealing the life of a beggar by his +title, his bravery, and his pride; poverty that wears a white waistcoat +and yellow kid gloves, a beggar with a carriage, whose whole career will +be wrecked for lack of a halfpenny. Poverty of the first kind belongs to +the populace; the second kind is that of blacklegs, of kings, and of men +of talent. I am neither a man of the people, nor a king, nor a swindler; +possibly I have no talent either, I am an exception. With the name I +bear I must die sooner than beg. Set your mind at rest, madame,' I +said; 'to-day I have abundance, I possess sufficient of the clay for my +needs'; for the hard look passed over her face which we wear whenever a +well-dressed beggar takes us by surprise. 'Do you remember the day +when you wished to go to the Gymnase without me, never believing that I +should be there?' I went on. + +"She nodded. + +"'I had laid out my last five-franc piece that I might see you +there.--Do you recollect our walk in the Jardin des Plantes? The hire of +your cab took everything I had.' + +"I told her about my sacrifices, and described the life I led; heated +not with wine, as I am to-day, but by the generous enthusiasm of my +heart, my passion overflowed in burning words; I have forgotten how the +feelings within me blazed forth; neither memory nor skill of mine +could possibly reproduce it. It was no colorless chronicle of blighted +affections; my love was strengthened by fair hopes; and such words came +to me, by love's inspiration, that each had power to set forth a whole +life--like echoes of the cries of a soul in torment. In such tones the +last prayers ascend from dying men on the battlefield. I stopped, for +she was weeping. _Grand Dieu_! I had reaped an actor's reward, the +success of a counterfeit passion displayed at the cost of five francs +paid at the theatre door. I had drawn tears from her. + +"'If I had known----' she said. + +"'Do not finish the sentence,' I broke in. 'Even now I love you well +enough to murder you----' + +"She reached for the bell-pull. I burst into a roar of laughter. + +"'Do not call any one,' I said. 'I shall leave you to finish your life +in peace. It would be a blundering kind of hatred that would murder you! +You need not fear violence of any kind; I have spent a whole night at +the foot of your bed without----' + +"'Monsieur----' she said, blushing; but after that first impulse of +modesty that even the most hardened women must surely own, she flung a +scornful glance at me, and said: + +"'You must have been very cold.' + +"'Do you think that I set such value on your beauty, madame,' I +answered, guessing the thoughts that moved her. 'Your beautiful face is +for me a promise of a soul yet more beautiful. Madame, those to whom +a woman is merely a woman can always purchase odalisques fit for the +seraglio, and achieve their happiness at a small cost. But I aspired +to something higher; I wanted the life of close communion of heart +and heart with you that have no heart. I know that now. If you were to +belong to another, I could kill him. And yet, no; for you would love +him, and his death might hurt you perhaps. What agony this is!' I cried. + +"'If it is any comfort to you,' she retorted cheerfully, 'I can assure +you that I shall never belong to any one----' + +"'So you offer an affront to God Himself,' I interrupted; 'and you +will be punished for it. Some day you will lie upon your sofa suffering +unheard-of ills, unable to endure the light or the slightest sound, +condemned to live as it were in the tomb. Then, when you seek the causes +of those lingering and avenging torments, you will remember the woes +that you distributed so lavishly upon your way. You have sown curses, +and hatred will be your reward. We are the real judges, the executioners +of a justice that reigns here below, which overrules the justice of man +and the laws of God.' + +"'No doubt it is very culpable in me not to love you,' she said, +laughing. 'Am I to blame? No. I do not love you; you are a man, that is +sufficient. I am happy by myself; why should I give up my way of living, +a selfish way, if you will, for the caprices of a master? Marriage is a +sacrament by virtue of which each imparts nothing but vexations to the +other. Children, moreover, worry me. Did I not faithfully warn you about +my nature? Why are you not satisfied to have my friendship? I wish I +could make you amends for all the troubles I have caused you, through +not guessing the value of your poor five-franc pieces. I appreciate the +extent of your sacrifices; but your devotion and delicate tact can be +repaid by love alone, and I care so little for you, that this scene has +a disagreeable effect upon me.' + +"'I am fully aware of my absurdity,' I said, unable to restrain my +tears. 'Pardon me,' I went on, 'it was a delight to hear those cruel +words you have just uttered, so well I love you. O, if I could testify +my love with every drop of blood in me!' + +"'Men always repeat these classic formulas to us, more or less +effectively,' she answered, still smiling. 'But it appears very +difficult to die at our feet, for I see corpses of that kind about +everywhere. It is twelve o'clock. Allow me to go to bed.' + +"'And in two hours' time you will cry to yourself, _Ah, mon Dieu_!' + +"'Like the day before yesterday! Yes,' she said, 'I was thinking of my +stockbroker; I had forgotten to tell him to convert my five per cent +stock into threes, and the three per cents had fallen during the day.' + +"I looked at her, and my eyes glittered with anger. Sometimes a +crime may be a whole romance; I understood that just then. She was so +accustomed, no doubt, to the most impassioned declarations of this kind, +that my words and my tears were forgotten already. + +"'Would you marry a peer of France?' I demanded abruptly. + +"'If he were a duke, I might.' + +"I seized my hat and made her a bow. + +"'Permit me to accompany you to the door,' she said, cutting irony in +her tones, in the poise of her head, and in her gesture. + +"'Madame----' + +"'Monsieur?' + +"'I shall never see you again.' + +"'I hope not,' and she insolently inclined her head. + +"'You wish to be a duchess?' I cried, excited by a sort of madness that +her insolence roused in me. 'You are wild for honors and titles? Well, +only let me love you; bid my pen write and my voice speak for you alone; +be the inmost soul of my life, my guiding star! Then, only accept me +for your husband as a minister, a peer of France, a duke. I will make of +myself whatever you would have me be!' + +"'You made good use of the time you spent with the advocate,' she said +smiling. 'There is a fervency about your pleadings.' + +"'The present is yours,' I cried, 'but the future is mine! I only lose a +woman; you are losing a name and a family. Time is big with my revenge; +time will spoil your beauty, and yours will be a solitary death; and +glory waits for me!' + +"'Thanks for your peroration!' she said, repressing a yawn; the wish +that she might never see me again was expressed in her whole bearing. + +"That remark silenced me. I flung at her a glance full of hatred, and +hurried away. + +"Foedora must be forgotten; I must cure myself of my infatuation, and +betake myself once more to my lonely studies, or die. So I set myself +tremendous tasks; I determined to complete my labors. For fifteen days I +never left my garret, spending whole nights in pallid thought. I worked +with difficulty, and by fits and starts, despite my courage and the +stimulation of despair. The music had fled. I could not exorcise the +brilliant mocking image of Foedora. Something morbid brooded over +every thought, a vague longing as dreadful as remorse. I imitated the +anchorites of the Thebaid. If I did not pray as they did, I lived a life +in the desert like theirs, hewing out my ideas as they were wont to hew +their rocks. I could at need have girdled my waist with spikes, that +physical suffering might quell mental anguish. + +"One evening Pauline found her way into my room. + +"'You are killing yourself,' she said imploringly; 'you should go out +and see your friends----' + +"'Pauline, you were a true prophet; Foedora is killing me, I want to +die. My life is intolerable.' + +"'Is there only one woman in the world?' she asked, smiling. 'Why make +yourself so miserable in so short a life?' + +"I looked at Pauline in bewilderment. She left me before I noticed her +departure; the sound of her words had reached me, but not their +sense. Very soon I had to take my Memoirs in manuscript to my +literary-contractor. I was so absorbed by my passion, that I could not +remember how I had managed to live without money; I only knew that the +four hundred and fifty francs due to me would pay my debts. So I went +to receive my salary, and met Rastignac, who thought me changed and +thinner. + +"'What hospital have you been discharged from?' he asked. + +"'That woman is killing me,' I answered; 'I can neither despise her nor +forget her.' + +"'You had much better kill her, then perhaps you would think no more of +her,' he said, laughing. + +"'I have often thought of it,' I replied; 'but though sometimes the +thought of a crime revives my spirits, of violence and murder, either or +both, I am really incapable of carrying out the design. The countess is +an admirable monster who would crave for pardon, and not every man is an +Othello.' + +"'She is like every woman who is beyond our reach,' Rastignac +interrupted. + +"'I am mad,' I cried; 'I can feel the madness raging at times in my +brain. My ideas are like shadows; they flit before me, and I cannot +grasp them. Death would be preferable to this life, and I have carefully +considered the best way of putting an end to the struggle. I am not +thinking of the living Foedora in the Faubourg Saint Honore, but of my +Foedora here,' and I tapped my forehead. 'What to you say to opium?' + +"'Pshaw! horrid agonies,' said Rastignac. + +"'Or charcoal fumes?' + +"'A low dodge.' + +"'Or the Seine?' + +"'The drag-nets, and the Morgue too, are filthy.' + +"'A pistol-shot?' + +"'And if you miscalculate, you disfigure yourself for life. Listen to +me,' he went on, 'like all young men, I have pondered over suicide. +Which of us hasn't killed himself two or three times before he is +thirty? I find there is no better course than to use existence as a +means of pleasure. Go in for thorough dissipation, and your passion or +you will perish in it. Intemperance, my dear fellow, commands all forms +of death. Does she not wield the thunderbolt of apoplexy? Apoplexy is +a pistol-shot that does not miscalculate. Orgies are lavish in all +physical pleasures; is not that the small change for opium? And the riot +that makes us drink to excess bears a challenge to mortal combat with +wine. That butt of Malmsey of the Duke of Clarence's must have had a +pleasanter flavor than Seine mud. When we sink gloriously under the +table, is not that a periodical death by drowning on a small scale? If +we are picked up by the police and stretched out on those chilly benches +of theirs at the police-station, do we not enjoy all the pleasures of +the Morgue? For though we are not blue and green, muddy and swollen +corpses, on the other hand we have the consciousness of the climax. + +"'Ah,' he went on, 'this protracted suicide has nothing in common with +the bankrupt grocer's demise. Tradespeople have brought the river into +disrepute; they fling themselves in to soften their creditors' hearts. +In your place I should endeavor to die gracefully; and if you wish +to invent a novel way of doing it, by struggling with life after this +manner, I will be your second. I am disappointed and sick of everything. +The Alsacienne, whom it was proposed that I should marry, had six toes +on her left foot; I cannot possibly live with a woman who has six toes! +It would get about to a certainty, and then I should be ridiculous. +Her income was only eighteen thousand francs; her fortune diminished +in quantity as her toes increased. The devil take it; if we begin an +outrageous sort of life, we may come on some bit of luck, perhaps!' + +"Rastignac's eloquence carried me away. The attractions of the plan +shone too temptingly, hopes were kindled, the poetical aspects of the +matter appealed to a poet. + +"'How about money?' I said. + +"'Haven't you four hundred and fifty francs?' + +"'Yes, but debts to my landlady and the tailor----' + +"'You would pay your tailor? You will never be anything whatever, not so +much as a minister.' + +"'But what can one do with twenty louis?' + +"'Go to the gaming-table.' + +"I shuddered. + +"'You are going to launch out into what I call systematic dissipation,' +said he, noticing my scruples, 'and yet you are afraid of a green +table-cloth.' + +"'Listen to me,' I answered. 'I promised my father never to set foot in +a gaming-house. Not only is that a sacred promise, but I still feel an +unconquerable disgust whenever I pass a gambling-hell; take the money +and go without me. While our fortune is at stake, I will set my own +affairs straight, and then I will go to your lodgings and wait for you.' + +"That was the way I went to perdition. A young man has only to come +across a woman who will not love him, or a woman who loves him too well, +and his whole life becomes a chaos. Prosperity swallows up our energy +just as adversity obscures our virtues. Back once more in my Hotel de +Saint-Quentin, I gazed about me a long while in the garret where I had +led my scholar's temperate life, a life which would perhaps have been +a long and honorable one, and that I ought not to have quitted for +the fevered existence which had urged me to the brink of a precipice. +Pauline surprised me in this dejected attitude. + +"'Why, what is the matter with you?' she asked. + +"I rose and quietly counted out the money owing to her mother, and added +to it sufficient to pay for six months' rent in advance. She watched me +in some alarm. + +"'I am going to leave you, dear Pauline.' + +"'I knew it!' she exclaimed. + +"'Listen, my child. I have not given up the idea of coming back. Keep +my room for me for six months. If I do not return by the fifteenth of +November, you will come into possession of my things. This sealed packet +of manuscript is the fair copy of my great work on "The Will,"' I went +on, pointing to a package. 'Will you deposit it in the King's Library? +And you may do as you wish with everything that is left here.' + +"Her look weighed heavily on my heart; Pauline was an embodiment of +conscience there before me. + +"'I shall have no more lessons,' she said, pointing to the piano. + +"I did not answer that. + +"'Will you write to me?' + +"'Good-bye, Pauline.' + +"I gently drew her towards me, and set a kiss on that innocent fair brow +of hers, like snow that has not yet touched the earth--a father's or a +brother's kiss. She fled. I would not see Madame Gaudin, hung my key in +its wonted place, and departed. I was almost at the end of the Rue de +Cluny when I heard a woman's light footstep behind me. + +"'I have embroidered this purse for you,' Pauline said; 'will you refuse +even that?' + +"By the light of the street lamp I thought I saw tears in Pauline's +eyes, and I groaned. Moved perhaps by a common impulse, we parted in +haste like people who fear the contagion of the plague. + +"As I waited with dignified calmness for Rastignac's return, his room +seemed a grotesque interpretation of the sort of life I was about to +enter upon. The clock on the chimney-piece was surmounted by a Venus +resting on her tortoise; a half-smoked cigar lay in her arms. Costly +furniture of various kinds--love tokens, very likely--was scattered +about. Old shoes lay on a luxurious sofa. The comfortable armchair into +which I had thrown myself bore as many scars as a veteran; the arms were +gnashed, the back was overlaid with a thick, stale deposit of pomade and +hair-oil from the heads of all his visitors. Splendor and squalor were +oddly mingled, on the walls, the bed, and everywhere. You might have +thought of a Neapolitan palace and the groups of lazzaroni about it. It +was the room of a gambler or a mauvais sujet, where the luxury exists +for one individual, who leads the life of the senses and does not +trouble himself over inconsistencies. + +"There was a certain imaginative element about the picture it presented. +Life was suddenly revealed there in its rags and spangles as +the incomplete thing it really is, of course, but so vividly and +picturesquely; it was like a den where a brigand has heaped up all the +plunder in which he delights. Some pages were missing from a copy of +Byron's poems: they had gone to light a fire of a few sticks for this +young person, who played for stakes of a thousand francs, and had not +a faggot; he kept a tilbury, and had not a whole shirt to his back. Any +day a countess or an actress or a run of luck at ecarte might set him up +with an outfit worthy of a king. A candle had been stuck into the green +bronze sheath of a vestaholder; a woman's portrait lay yonder, torn out +of its carved gold setting. How was it possible that a young man, whose +nature craved excitement, could renounce a life so attractive by reason +of its contradictions; a life that afforded all the delights of war in +the midst of peace? I was growing drowsy when Rastignac kicked the door +open and shouted: + +"'Victory! Now we can take our time about dying.' + +"He held out his hat filled with gold to me, and put it down on the +table; then we pranced round it like a pair of cannibals about to eat a +victim; we stamped, and danced, and yelled, and sang; we gave each other +blows fit to kill an elephant, at sight of all the pleasures of the +world contained in that hat. + +"'Twenty-seven thousand francs,' said Rastignac, adding a few bank-notes +to the pile of gold. 'That would be enough for other folk to live upon; +will it be sufficient for us to die on? Yes! we will breathe our last in +a bath of gold--hurrah!' and we capered afresh. + +"We divided the windfall. We began with double-napoleons, and came down +to the smaller coins, one by one. 'This for you, this for me,' we kept +saying, distilling our joy drop by drop. + +"'We won't go to sleep,' cried Rastignac. 'Joseph! some punch!' + +"He threw gold to his faithful attendant. + +"'There is your share,' he said; 'go and bury yourself if you can.' + +"Next day I went to Lesage and chose my furniture, took the rooms that +you know in the Rue Taitbout, and left the decoration to one of the best +upholsterers. I bought horses. I plunged into a vortex of pleasures, at +once hollow and real. I went in for play, gaining and losing +enormous sums, but only at friends' houses and in ballrooms; never in +gaming-houses, for which I still retained the holy horror of my early +days. Without meaning it, I made some friends, either through quarrels +or owing to the easy confidence established among those who are going +to the bad together; nothing, possibly, makes us cling to one another so +tightly as our evil propensities. + +"I made several ventures in literature, which were flatteringly +received. Great men who followed the profession of letters, having +nothing to fear from me, belauded me, not so much on account of my +merits as to cast a slur on those of their rivals. + +"I became a 'free-liver,' to make use of the picturesque expression +appropriated by the language of excess. I made it a point of honor not +to be long about dying, and that my zeal and prowess should eclipse +those displayed by all others in the jolliest company. I was always +spruce and carefully dressed. I had some reputation for cleverness. +There was no sign about me of the fearful way of living which makes a +man into a mere disgusting apparatus, a funnel, a pampered beast. + +"Very soon Debauch rose before me in all the majesty of its horror, and +I grasped all that it meant. Those prudent, steady-going characters who +are laying down wine in bottles for their heirs, can barely conceive, +it is true, of so wide a theory of life, nor appreciate its normal +condition; but when will you instill poetry into the provincial +intellect? Opium and tea, with all their delights, are merely drugs to +folk of that calibre. + +"Is not the imperfect sybarite to be met with even in Paris itself, that +intellectual metropolis? Unfit to endure the fatigues of pleasure, this +sort of person, after a drinking bout, is very much like those worthy +bourgeois who fall foul of music after hearing a new opera by Rossini. +Does he not renounce these courses in the same frame of mind that leads +an abstemious man to forswear Ruffec pates, because the first one, +forsooth, gave him the indigestion? + +"Debauch is as surely an art as poetry, and is not for craven spirits. +To penetrate its mysteries and appreciate its charms, conscientious +application is required; and as with every path of knowledge, the way is +thorny and forbidding at the outset. The great pleasures of humanity are +hedged about with formidable obstacles; not its single enjoyments, but +enjoyment as a system, a system which establishes seldom experienced +sensations and makes them habitual, which concentrates and multiplies +them for us, creating a dramatic life within our life, and imperatively +demanding a prompt and enormous expenditure of vitality. War, Power, +Art, like Debauch, are all forms of demoralization, equally remote from +the faculties of humanity, equally profound, and all are alike difficult +of access. But when man has once stormed the heights of these grand +mysteries, does he not walk in another world? Are not generals, +ministers, and artists carried, more or less, towards destruction by +the need of violent distractions in an existence so remote from ordinary +life as theirs? + +"War, after all, is the Excess of bloodshed, as the Excess of +self-interest produces Politics. Excesses of every sort are brothers. +These social enormities possess the attraction of the abyss; they draw +towards themselves as St. Helena beckoned Napoleon; we are fascinated, +our heads swim, we wish to sound their depths though we cannot +account for the wish. Perhaps the thought of Infinity dwells in these +precipices, perhaps they contain some colossal flattery for the soul of +man; for is he not, then, wholly absorbed in himself? + +"The wearied artist needs a complete contrast to his paradise of +imaginings and of studious hours; he either craves, like God, the +seventh day of rest, or with Satan, the pleasures of hell; so that +his senses may have free play in opposition to the employment of his +faculties. Byron could never have taken for his relaxation to the +independent gentleman's delights of boston and gossip, for he was a +poet, and so must needs pit Greece against Mahmoud. + +"In war, is not man an angel of extirpation, a sort of executioner on +a gigantic scale? Must not the spell be strong indeed that makes us +undergo such horrid sufferings so hostile to our weak frames, sufferings +that encircle every strong passion with a hedge of thorns? The tobacco +smoker is seized with convulsions, and goes through a kind of agony +consequent upon his excesses; but has he not borne a part in delightful +festivals in realms unknown? Has Europe ever ceased from wars? She +has never given herself time to wipe the stains from her feet that are +steeped in blood to the ankle. Mankind at large is carried away by fits +of intoxication, as nature has its accessions of love. + +"For men in private life, for a vegetating Mirabeau dreaming of storms +in a time of calm, Excess comprises all things; it perpetually embraces +the whole sum of life; it is something better still--it is a duel with +an antagonist of unknown power, a monster, terrible at first sight, that +must be seized by the horns, a labor that cannot be imagined. + +"Suppose that nature has endowed you with a feeble stomach or one of +limited capacity; you acquire a mastery over it and improve it; you +learn to carry your liquor; you grow accustomed to being drunk; you pass +whole nights without sleep; at last you acquire the constitution of a +colonel of cuirassiers; and in this way you create yourself afresh, as +if to fly in the face of Providence. + +"A man transformed after this sort is like a neophyte who has at last +become a veteran, has accustomed his mind to shot and shell and his legs +to lengthy marches. When the monster's hold on him is still uncertain, +and it is not yet known which will have the better of it, they roll over +and over, alternately victor and vanquished, in a world where everything +is wonderful, where every ache of the soul is laid to sleep, where only +the shadows of ideas are revived. + +"This furious struggle has already become a necessity for us. The +prodigal has struck a bargain for all the enjoyments with which life +teems abundantly, at the price of his own death, like the mythical +persons in legends who sold themselves to the devil for the power of +doing evil. For them, instead of flowing quietly on in its monotonous +course in the depths of some counting-house or study, life is poured out +in a boiling torrent. + +"Excess is, in short, for the body what the mystic's ecstasy is for +the soul. Intoxication steeps you in fantastic imaginings every whit as +strange as those of ecstatics. You know hours as full of rapture as a +young girl's dreams; you travel without fatigue; you chat pleasantly +with your friends; words come to you with a whole life in each, and +fresh pleasures without regrets; poems are set forth for you in a few +brief phrases. The coarse animal satisfaction, in which science has +tried to find a soul, is followed by the enchanted drowsiness that men +sigh for under the burden of consciousness. Is it not because they all +feel the need of absolute repose? Because Excess is a sort of toll that +genius pays to pain? + +"Look at all great men; nature made them pleasure-loving or base, every +one. Some mocking or jealous power corrupted them in either soul or +body, so as to make all their powers futile, and their efforts of no +avail. + +"All men and all things appear before you in the guise you choose, +in those hours when wine has sway. You are lord of all creation; you +transform it at your pleasure. And throughout this unceasing delirium, +Play may pour, at your will, its molten lead into your veins. + +"Some day you will fall into the monster's power. Then you will have, as +I had, a frenzied awakening, with impotence sitting by your pillow. Are +you an old soldier? Phthisis attacks you. A diplomatist? An aneurism +hangs death in your heart by a thread. It will perhaps be consumption +that will cry out to me, 'Let us be going!' as to Raphael of Urbino, in +old time, killed by an excess of love. + +"In this way I have existed. I was launched into the world too early or +too late. My energy would have been dangerous there, no doubt, if I had +not have squandered it in such ways as these. Was not the world rid of +an Alexander, by the cup of Hercules, at the close of a drinking bout? + +"There are some, the sport of Destiny, who must either have heaven or +hell, the hospice of St. Bernard or riotous excess. Only just now +I lacked the heart to moralize about those two," and he pointed to +Euphrasia and Aquilina. "They are types of my own personal history, +images of my life! I could scarcely reproach them; they stood before me +like judges. + +"In the midst of this drama that I was enacting, and while my +distracting disorder was at its height, two crises supervened; each +brought me keen and abundant pangs. The first came a few days after I +had flung myself, like Sardanapalus, on my pyre. I met Foedora under the +peristyle of the Bouffons. We both were waiting for our carriages. + +"'Ah! so you are living yet?' + +"That was the meaning of her smile, and probably of the spiteful words +she murmured in the ear of her cicisbeo, telling him my history no +doubt, rating mine as a common love affair. She was deceived, yet she +was applauding her perspicacity. Oh, that I should be dying for her, +must still adore her, always see her through my potations, see her still +when I was overcome with wine, or in the arms of courtesans; and know +that I was a target for her scornful jests! Oh, that I should be unable +to tear the love of her out of my breast and to fling it at her feet! + +"Well, I quickly exhausted my funds, but owing to those three years +of discipline, I enjoyed the most robust health, and on the day that I +found myself without a penny I felt remarkably well. In order to carry +on the process of dying, I signed bills at short dates, and the day came +when they must be met. Painful excitements! but how they quicken the +pulses of youth! I was not prematurely aged; I was young yet, and full +of vigor and life. + +"At my first debt all my virtues came to life; slowly and despairingly +they seemed to pace towards me; but I could compound with them--they +were like aged aunts that begin with a scolding and end by bestowing +tears and money upon you. + +"Imagination was less yielding; I saw my name bandied about through +every city in Europe. 'One's name is oneself' says Eusebe Salverte. +After these excursions I returned to the room I had never quitted, like +a doppelganger in a German tale, and came to myself with a start. + +"I used to see with indifference a banker's messenger going on his +errands through the streets of Paris, like a commercial Nemesis, wearing +his master's livery--a gray coat and a silver badge; but now I hated the +species in advance. One of them came one morning to ask me to meet some +eleven bills that I had scrawled my name upon. My signature was worth +three thousand francs! Taking me altogether, I myself was not worth +that amount. Sheriff's deputies rose up before me, turning their callous +faces upon my despair, as the hangman regards the criminal to whom he +says, 'It has just struck half-past three.' I was in the power of their +clerks; they could scribble my name, drag it through the mire, and jeer +at it. I was a defaulter. Has a debtor any right to himself? Could +not other men call me to account for my way of living? Why had I eaten +puddings _a la chipolata_? Why had I iced my wine? Why had I slept, or +walked, or thought, or amused myself when I had not paid them? + +"At any moment, in the middle of a poem, during some train of thought, +or while I was gaily breakfasting in the pleasant company of my friends, +I might look to see a gentleman enter in a coat of chestnut-brown, with +a shabby hat in his hand. This gentleman's appearance would signify my +debt, the bill I had drawn; the spectre would compel me to leave the +table to speak to him, blight my spirits, despoil me of my cheerfulness, +of my mistress, of all I possessed, down to my very bedstead. + +"Remorse itself is more easily endured. Remorse does not drive us into +the street nor into the prison of Sainte-Pelagie; it does not force +us into the detestable sink of vice. Remorse only brings us to the +scaffold, where the executioner invests us with a certain dignity; as we +pay the extreme penalty, everybody believes in our innocence; but people +will not credit a penniless prodigal with a single virtue. + +"My debts had other incarnations. There is the kind that goes about on +two feet, in a green cloth coat, and blue spectacles, carrying umbrellas +of various hues; you come face to face with him at the corner of +some street, in the midst of your mirth. These have the detestable +prerogative of saying, 'M. de Valentin owes me something, and does +not pay. I have a hold on him. He had better not show me any offensive +airs!' You must bow to your creditors, and moreover bow politely. 'When +are you going to pay me?' say they. And you must lie, and beg money of +another man, and cringe to a fool seated on his strong-box, and receive +sour looks in return from these horse-leeches; a blow would be less +hateful; you must put up with their crass ignorance and calculating +morality. A debt is a feat of the imaginative that they cannot +appreciate. A borrower is often carried away and over-mastered by +generous impulses; nothing great, nothing magnanimous can move or +dominate those who live for money, and recognize nothing but money. I +myself held money in abhorrence. + +"Or a bill may undergo a final transformation into some meritorious +old man with a family dependent upon him. My creditor might be a living +picture for Greuze, a paralytic with his children round him, a soldier's +widow, holding out beseeching hands to me. Terrible creditors are +these with whom we are forced to sympathize, and when their claims are +satisfied we owe them a further debt of assistance. + +"The night before the bills fell due, I lay down with the false calm of +those who sleep before their approaching execution, or with a duel in +prospect, rocked as they are by delusive hopes. But when I woke, when +I was cool and collected, when I found myself imprisoned in a banker's +portfolio, and floundering in statements covered with red ink--then my +debts sprang up everywhere, like grasshoppers, before my eyes. There +were my debts, my clock, my armchairs; my debts were inlaid in the very +furniture which I liked best to use. These gentle inanimate slaves were +to fall prey to the harpies of the Chatelet, were to be carried off by +the broker's men, and brutally thrown on the market. Ah, my property was +a part of myself! + +"The sound of the door-bell rang through my heart; while it seemed to +strike at me, where kings should be struck at--in the head. Mine was a +martyrdom, without heaven for its reward. For a magnanimous nature, debt +is a hell, and a hell, moreover, with sheriff's officers and brokers in +it. An undischarged debt is something mean and sordid; it is a beginning +of knavery; it is something worse, it is a lie; it prepares the way for +crime, and brings together the planks for the scaffold. My bills +were protested. Three days afterwards I met them, and this is how it +happened. + +"A speculator came, offering to buy the island in the Loire belonging +to me, where my mother lay buried. I closed with him. When I went to +his solicitor to sign the deeds, I felt a cavern-like chill in the dark +office that made me shudder; it was the same cold dampness that had laid +hold upon me at the brink of my father's grave. I looked upon this as +an evil omen. I seemed to see the shade of my mother, and to hear her +voice. What power was it that made my own name ring vaguely in my ears, +in spite of the clamor of bells? + +"The money paid down for my island, when all my debts were discharged, +left me in possession of two thousand francs. I could now have returned +to the scholar's tranquil life, it is true; I could have gone back to +my garret after having gained an experience of life, with my head filled +with the results of extensive observation, and with a certain sort of +reputation attaching to me. But Foedora's hold upon her victim was not +relaxed. We often met. I compelled her admirers to sound my name in her +ears, by dint of astonishing them with my cleverness and success, with +my horses and equipages. It all found her impassive and uninterested; so +did an ugly phrase of Rastignac's, 'He is killing himself for you.' + +"I charged the world at large with my revenge, but I was not happy. +While I was fathoming the miry depths of life, I only recognized the +more keenly at all times the happiness of reciprocal affection; it was +a shadow that I followed through all that befell me in my extravagance, +and in my wildest moments. It was my misfortune to be deceived in my +fairest beliefs, to be punished by ingratitude for benefiting others, +and to receive uncounted pleasures as the reward of my errors--a +sinister doctrine, but a true one for the prodigal! + +"The contagious leprosy of Foedora's vanity had taken hold of me at +last. I probed my soul, and found it cankered and rotten. I bore the +marks of the devil's claw upon my forehead. It was impossible to me +thenceforward to do without the incessant agitation of a life fraught +with danger at every moment, or to dispense with the execrable +refinements of luxury. If I had possessed millions, I should still have +gambled, reveled, and racketed about. I wished never to be alone with +myself, and I must have false friends and courtesans, wine and good +cheer to distract me. The ties that attach a man to family life had been +permanently broken for me. I had become a galley-slave of pleasure, +and must accomplish my destiny of suicide. During the last days of my +prosperity, I spent every night in the most incredible excesses; but +every morning death cast me back upon life again. I would have taken +a conflagration with as little concern as any man with a life annuity. +However, I at last found myself alone with a twenty-franc piece; I +bethought me then of Rastignac's luck---- + +"Eh, eh!----" Raphael exclaimed, interrupting himself, as he remembered +the talisman and drew it from his pocket. Perhaps he was wearied by the +long day's strain, and had no more strength left wherewith to pilot his +head through the seas of wine and punch; or perhaps, exasperated by this +symbol of his own existence, the torrent of his own eloquence gradually +overwhelmed him. Raphael became excited and elated and like one +completely deprived of reason. + +"The devil take death!" he shouted, brandishing the skin; "I mean to +live! I am rich, I have every virtue; nothing will withstand me. Who +would not be generous, when everything is in his power? Aha! Aha! I +wished for two hundred thousand livres a year, and I shall have them. +Bow down before me, all of you, wallowing on the carpets like swine in +the mire! You all belong to me--a precious property truly! I am rich; I +could buy you all, even the deputy snoring over there. Scum of society, +give me your benediction! I am the Pope." + +Raphael's vociferations had been hitherto drowned by a thorough-bass +of snores, but now they became suddenly audible. Most of the sleepers +started up with a cry, saw the cause of the disturbance on his feet, +tottering uncertainly, and cursed him in concert for a drunken brawler. + +"Silence!" shouted Raphael. "Back to your kennels, you dogs! Emile, I +have riches, I will give you Havana cigars!" + +"I am listening," the poet replied. "Death or Foedora! On with you! That +silky Foedora deceived you. Women are all daughters of Eve. There is +nothing dramatic about that rigmarole of yours." + +"Ah, but you were sleeping, slyboots." + +"No--'Death or Foedora!'--I have it!" + +"Wake up!" Raphael shouted, beating Emile with the piece of shagreen as +if he meant to draw electric fluid out of it. + +"_Tonnerre_!" said Emile, springing up and flinging his arms round +Raphael; "my friend, remember the sort of women you are with." + +"I am a millionaire!" + +"If you are not a millionaire, you are most certainly drunk." + +"Drunk with power. I can kill you!--Silence! I am Nero! I am +Nebuchadnezzar!" + +"But, Raphael, we are in queer company, and you ought to keep quiet for +the sake of your own dignity." + +"My life has been silent too long. I mean to have my revenge now on the +world at large. I will not amuse myself by squandering paltry five-franc +pieces; I will reproduce and sum up my epoch by absorbing human +lives, human minds, and human souls. There are the treasures of +pestilence--that is no paltry kind of wealth, is it? I will wrestle with +fevers--yellow, blue, or green--with whole armies, with gibbets. I can +possess Foedora--Yet no, I do not want Foedora; she is a disease; I am +dying of Foedora. I want to forget Foedora." + +"If you keep on calling out like this, I shall take you into the +dining-room." + +"Do you see this skin? It is Solomon's will. Solomon belongs to me--a +little varlet of a king! Arabia is mine, Arabia Petraea to boot; and the +universe, and you too, if I choose. If I choose--Ah! be careful. I can +buy up all our journalist's shop; you shall be my valet. You shall be +my valet, you shall manage my newspaper. Valet! _valet_, that is to say, +free from aches and pains, because he has no brains." + +At the word, Emile carried Raphael off into the dining-room. + +"All right," he remarked; "yes, my friend, I am your valet. But you +are about to be editor-in-chief of a newspaper; so be quiet, and behave +properly, for my sake. Have you no regard for me?" + +"Regard for you! You shall have Havana cigars, with this bit of +shagreen: always with this skin, this supreme bit of shagreen. It is +a cure for corns, and efficacious remedy. Do you suffer? I will remove +them." + +"Never have I known you so senseless----" + +"Senseless, my friend? Not at all. This skin contracts whenever I form a +wish--'tis a paradox. There is a Brahmin underneath it! The Brahmin must +be a droll fellow, for our desires, look you, are bound to expand----" + +"Yes, yes----" + +"I tell you----" + +"Yes, yes, very true, I am quite of your opinion--our desires +expand----" + +"The skin, I tell you." + +"Yes." + +"You don't believe me. I know you, my friend; you are as full of lies as +a new-made king." + +"How can you expect me to follow your drunken maunderings?" + +"I will bet you I can prove it. Let us measure it----" + +"Goodness! he will never get off to sleep," exclaimed Emile, as he +watched Raphael rummaging busily in the dining-room. + +Thanks to the peculiar clearness with which external objects are +sometimes projected on an inebriated brain, in sharp contrast to its own +obscure imaginings, Valentin found an inkstand and a table-napkin, with +the quickness of a monkey, repeating all the time: + +"Let us measure it! Let us measure it!" + +"All right," said Emile; "let us measure it!" + +The two friends spread out the table-napkin and laid the Magic Skin upon +it. As Emile's hand appeared to be steadier than Raphael's, he drew a +line with pen and ink round the talisman, while his friend said: + +"I wished for an income of two hundred thousand livres, didn't I? Well, +when that comes, you will observe a mighty diminution of my chagrin." + +"Yes--now go to sleep. Shall I make you comfortable on that sofa? Now +then, are you all right?" + +"Yes, my nursling of the press. You shall amuse me; you shall drive +the flies away from me. The friend of adversity should be the friend of +prosperity. So I will give you some Hava--na--cig----" + +"Come, now, sleep. Sleep off your gold, you millionaire!" + +"You! sleep off your paragraphs! Good-night! Say good-night to +Nebuchadnezzar!--Love! Wine! France!--glory and tr--treas----" + +Very soon the snorings of the two friends were added to the music with +which the rooms resounded--an ineffectual concert! The lights went out +one by one, their crystal sconces cracking in the final flare. Night +threw dark shadows over this prolonged revelry, in which Raphael's +narrative had been a second orgy of speech, of words without ideas, of +ideas for which words had often been lacking. + +Towards noon, next day, the fair Aquilina bestirred herself. She yawned +wearily. She had slept with her head upon a painted velvet footstool, +and her cheeks were mottled over by contact with the surface. Her +movement awoke Euphrasia, who suddenly sprang up with a hoarse cry; her +pretty face, that had been so fresh and fair in the evening, was sallow +now and pallid; she looked like a candidate for the hospital. The rest +awoke also by degrees, with portentous groanings, to feel themselves +over in every stiffened limb, and to experience the infinite varieties +of weariness that weighed upon them. + +A servant came in to throw back the shutters and open the windows. +There they all stood, brought back to consciousness by the warm rays +of sunlight that shone upon the sleepers' heads. Their movements during +slumber had disordered the elaborately arranged hair and toilettes of +the women. They presented a ghastly spectacle in the bright daylight. +Their hair fell ungracefully about them; their eyes, lately so +brilliant, were heavy and dim; the expression of their faces was +entirely changed. The sickly hues, which daylight brings out so +strongly, were frightful. An olive tint had crept over the lymphatic +faces, so fair and soft when in repose; the dainty red lips were +grown pale and dry, and bore tokens of the degradation of excess. Each +disowned his mistress of the night before; the women looked wan and +discolored, like flowers trampled under foot by a passing procession. + +The men who scorned them looked even more horrible. Those human faces +would have made you shudder. The hollow eyes with the dark circles round +them seemed to see nothing; they were dull with wine and stupefied with +heavy slumbers that had been exhausting rather than refreshing. There +was an indescribable ferocious and stolid bestiality about these haggard +faces, where bare physical appetite appeared shorn of all the poetical +illusion with which the intellect invests it. Even these fearless +champions, accustomed to measure themselves with excess, were struck +with horror at this awakening of vice, stripped of its disguises, at +being confronted thus with sin, the skeleton in rags, lifeless and +hollow, bereft of the sophistries of the intellect and the enchantments +of luxury. Artists and courtesans scrutinized in silence and with +haggard glances the surrounding disorder, the rooms where everything had +been laid waste, at the havoc wrought by heated passions. + +Demoniac laughter broke out when Taillefer, catching the smothered +murmurs of his guests, tried to greet them with a grin. His darkly +flushed, perspiring countenance loomed upon this pandemonium, like the +image of a crime that knows no remorse (see _L'Auberge rouge_). The +picture was complete. A picture of a foul life in the midst of luxury, a +hideous mixture of the pomp and squalor of humanity; an awakening after +the frenzy of Debauch has crushed and squeezed all the fruits of life in +her strong hands, till nothing but unsightly refuse is left to her, and +lies in which she believes no longer. You might have thought of Death +gloating over a family stricken with the plague. + +The sweet scents and dazzling lights, the mirth and the excitement +were all no more; disgust with its nauseous sensations and searching +philosophy was there instead. The sun shone in like truth, the pure +outer air was like virtue; in contrast with the heated atmosphere, heavy +with the fumes of the previous night of revelry. + +Accustomed as they were to their life, many of the girls thought of +other days and other wakings; pure and innocent days when they looked +out and saw the roses and honeysuckle about the casement, and the fresh +countryside without enraptured by the glad music of the skylark; while +earth lay in mists, lighted by the dawn, and in all the glittering +radiance of dew. Others imagined the family breakfast, the father and +children round the table, the innocent laughter, the unspeakable charm +that pervaded it all, the simple hearts and their meal as simple. + +An artist mused upon his quiet studio, on his statue in its severe +beauty, and the graceful model who was waiting for him. A young man +recollected a lawsuit on which the fortunes of a family hung, and an +important transaction that needed his presence. The scholar regretted +his study and that noble work that called for him. Emile appeared just +then as smiling, blooming, and fresh as the smartest assistant in a +fashionable shop. + +"You are all as ugly as bailiffs. You won't be fit for anything to-day, +so this day is lost, and I vote for breakfast." + +At this Taillefer went out to give some orders. The women went languidly +up to the mirrors to set their toilettes in order. Each one shook +herself. The wilder sort lectured the steadier ones. The courtesans made +fun of those who looked unable to continue the boisterous festivity; +but these wan forms revived all at once, stood in groups, and talked +and smiled. Some servants quickly and adroitly set the furniture and +everything else in its place, and a magnificent breakfast was got ready. + +The guests hurried into the dining-room. Everything there bore indelible +marks of yesterday's excess, it is true, but there were at any rate some +traces of ordinary, rational existence, such traces as may be found in a +sick man's dying struggles. And so the revelry was laid away and buried, +like carnival of a Shrove Tuesday, by masks wearied out with dancing, +drunk with drunkenness, and quite ready to be persuaded of the pleasures +of lassitude, lest they should be forced to admit their exhaustion. + +As soon as these bold spirits surrounded the capitalist's +breakfast-table, Cardot appeared. He had left the rest to make a night +of it after the dinner, and finished the evening after his own fashion +in the retirement of domestic life. Just now a sweet smile wandered over +his features. He seemed to have a presentiment that there would be some +inheritance to sample and divide, involving inventories and engrossing; +an inheritance rich in fees and deeds to draw up, and something as juicy +as the trembling fillet of beef in which their host had just plunged his +knife. + +"Oh, ho! we are to have breakfast in the presence of a notary," cried +Cursy. + +"You have come here just at the right time," said the banker, indicating +the breakfast; "you can jot down the numbers, and initial off all the +dishes." + +"There is no will to make here, but contracts of marriage there may be, +perhaps," said the scholar, who had made a satisfactory arrangement for +the first time in twelve months. + +"Oh! Oh!" + +"Ah! Ah!" + +"One moment," cried Cardot, fairly deafened by a chorus of wretched +jokes. "I came here on serious business. I am bringing six millions for +one of you." (Dead silence.) "Monsieur," he went on, turning to Raphael, +who at the moment was unceremoniously wiping his eyes on a corner of the +table-napkin, "was not your mother a Mlle. O'Flaharty?" + +"Yes," said Raphael mechanically enough; "Barbara Marie." + +"Have you your certificate of birth about you," Cardot went on, "and +Mme. de Valentin's as well?" + +"I believe so." + +"Very well then, monsieur; you are the sole heir of Major O'Flaharty, +who died in August 1828 at Calcutta." + +"An _incalcuttable_ fortune," said the critic. + +"The Major having bequeathed several amounts to public institutions in +his will, the French Government sent in a claim for the remainder to +the East India Company," the notary continued. "The estate is clear and +ready to be transferred at this moment. I have been looking in vain for +the heirs and assigns of Mlle. Barbara Marie O'Flaharty for a fortnight +past, when yesterday at dinner----" + +Just then Raphael suddenly staggered to his feet; he looked like a man +who has just received a blow. Acclamation took the form of silence, for +stifled envy had been the first feeling in every breast, and all eyes +devoured him like flames. Then a murmur rose, and grew like the voice of +a discontented audience, or the first mutterings of a riot, as everybody +made some comment on this news of great wealth brought by the notary. + +This abrupt subservience of fate brought Raphael thoroughly to his +senses. He immediately spread out the table-napkin with which he had +lately taken the measure of the piece of shagreen. He heeded nothing as +he laid the talisman upon it, and shuddered involuntarily at the sight +of a slight difference between the present size of the skin and the +outline traced upon the linen. + +"Why, what is the matter with him?" Taillefer cried. "He comes by his +fortune very cheaply." + +"_Soutiens-le Chatillon_!" said Bixiou to Emile. "The joy will kill +him." + +A ghastly white hue overspread every line of the wan features of the +heir-at-law. His face was drawn, every outline grew haggard; the hollows +in his livid countenance grew deeper, and his eyes were fixed and +staring. He was facing Death. + +The opulent banker, surrounded by faded women, and faces with satiety +written on them, the enjoyment that had reached the pitch of agony, was +a living illustration of his own life. + +Raphael looked thrice at the talisman, which lay passively within the +merciless outlines on the table-napkin; he tried not to believe it, +but his incredulity vanished utterly before the light of an inner +presentiment. The whole world was his; he could have all things, but the +will to possess them was utterly extinct. Like a traveler in the midst +of the desert, with but a little water left to quench his thirst, he +must measure his life by the draughts he took of it. He saw what every +desire of his must cost him in the days of his life. He believed in the +powers of the Magic Skin at last, he listened to every breath he drew; +he felt ill already; he asked himself: + +"Am I not consumptive? Did not my mother die of a lung complaint?" + +"Aha, Raphael! what fun you will have! What will you give me?" asked +Aquilina. + +"Here's to the death of his uncle, Major O'Flaharty! There is a man for +you." + +"He will be a peer of France." + +"Pooh! what is a peer of France since July?" said the amateur critic. + +"Are you going to take a box at the Bouffons?" + +"You are going to treat us all, I hope?" put in Bixiou. + +"A man of his sort will be sure to do things in style," said Emile. + +The hurrah set up by the jovial assembly rang in Valentin's ears, but he +could not grasp the sense of a single word. Vague thoughts crossed him +of the Breton peasant's life of mechanical labor, without a wish of any +kind; he pictured him burdened with a family, tilling the soil, living +on buckwheat meal, drinking cider out of a pitcher, believing in the +Virgin and the King, taking the sacrament at Easter, dancing of a Sunday +on the green sward, and understanding never a word of the rector's +sermon. The actual scene that lay before him, the gilded furniture, the +courtesans, the feast itself, and the surrounding splendors, seemed to +catch him by the throat and made him cough. + +"Do you wish for some asparagus?" the banker cried. + +"_I wish for nothing_!" thundered Raphael. + +"Bravo!" Taillefer exclaimed; "you understand your position; a +fortune confers the privilege of being impertinent. You are one of us. +Gentlemen, let us drink to the might of gold! M. Valentin here, six +times a millionaire, has become a power. He is a king, like all the +rich; everything is at his disposal, everything lies under his feet. +From this time forth the axiom that 'all Frenchmen are alike in the eyes +of the law,' is for him a fib at the head of the Constitutional Charter. +He is not going to obey the law--the law is going to obey him. There are +neither scaffolds nor executioners for millionaires." + +"Yes, there are," said Raphael; "they are their own executioners." + +"Here is another victim of prejudices!" cried the banker. + +"Let us drink!" Raphael said, putting the talisman into his pocket. + +"What are you doing?" said Emile, checking his movement. "Gentlemen," he +added, addressing the company, who were rather taken aback by Raphael's +behavior, "you must know that our friend Valentin here--what am I +saying?--I mean my Lord Marquis de Valentin--is in the possession of +a secret for obtaining wealth. His wishes are fulfilled as soon as he +knows them. He will make us all rich together, or he is a flunkey, and +devoid of all decent feeling." + +"Oh, Raphael dear, I should like a set of pearl ornaments!" Euphrasia +exclaimed. + +"If he has any gratitude in him, he will give me a couple of carriages +with fast steppers," said Aquilina. + +"Wish for a hundred thousand a year for me!" + +"Indian shawls!" + +"Pay my debts!" + +"Send an apoplexy to my uncle, the old stick!" + +"Ten thousand a year in the funds, and I'll cry quits with you, +Raphael!" + +"Deeds of gift and no mistake," was the notary's comment. + +"He ought, at least, to rid me of the gout!" + +"Lower the funds!" shouted the banker. + +These phrases flew about like the last discharge of rockets at the end +of a display of fireworks; and were uttered, perhaps, more in earnest +than in jest. + +"My good friend," Emile said solemnly, "I shall be quite satisfied with +an income of two hundred thousand livres. Please to set about it at +once." + +"Do you not know the cost, Emile?" asked Raphael. + +"A nice excuse!" the poet cried; "ought we not to sacrifice ourselves +for our friends?" + +"I have almost a mind to wish that you all were dead," Valentin made +answer, with a dark, inscrutable look at his boon companions. + +"Dying people are frightfully cruel," said Emile, laughing. "You are +rich now," he went on gravely; "very well, I will give you two months at +most before you grow vilely selfish. You are so dense already that +you cannot understand a joke. You have only to go a little further to +believe in your Magic Skin." + +Raphael kept silent, fearing the banter of the company; but he drank +immoderately, trying to drown in intoxication the recollection of his +fatal power. + + + + +III. THE AGONY + +In the early days of December an old man of some seventy years of age +pursued his way along the Rue de Varenne, in spite of the falling rain. +He peered up at the door of each house, trying to discover the address +of the Marquis Raphael de Valentin, in a simple, childlike fashion, +and with the abstracted look peculiar to philosophers. His face plainly +showed traces of a struggle between a heavy mortification and an +authoritative nature; his long, gray hair hung in disorder about a face +like a piece of parchment shriveling in the fire. If a painter had come +upon this curious character, he would, no doubt, have transferred him +to his sketchbook on his return, a thin, bony figure, clad in black, and +have inscribed beneath it: "Classical poet in search of a rhyme." +When he had identified the number that had been given to him, this +reincarnation of Rollin knocked meekly at the door of a splendid +mansion. + +"Is Monsieur Raphael in?" the worthy man inquired of the Swiss in +livery. + +"My Lord the Marquis sees nobody," said the servant, swallowing a huge +morsel that he had just dipped in a large bowl of coffee. + +"There is his carriage," said the elderly stranger, pointing to a fine +equipage that stood under the wooden canopy that sheltered the steps +before the house, in place of a striped linen awning. "He is going out; +I will wait for him." + +"Then you might wait here till to-morrow morning, old boy," said the +Swiss. "A carriage is always waiting for monsieur. Please to go away. If +I were to let any stranger come into the house without orders, I should +lose an income of six hundred francs." + +A tall old man, in a costume not unlike that of a subordinate in the +Civil Service, came out of the vestibule and hurried part of the +way down the steps, while he made a survey of the astonished elderly +applicant for admission. + +"What is more, here is M. Jonathan," the Swiss remarked; "speak to him." + +Fellow-feeling of some kind, or curiosity, brought the two old men +together in a central space in the great entrance-court. A few blades of +grass were growing in the crevices of the pavement; a terrible silence +reigned in that great house. The sight of Jonathan's face would have +made you long to understand the mystery that brooded over it, and that +was announced by the smallest trifles about the melancholy place. + +When Raphael inherited his uncle's vast estate, his first care had been +to seek out the old and devoted servitor of whose affection he knew that +he was secure. Jonathan had wept tears of joy at the sight of his young +master, of whom he thought he had taken a final farewell; and when the +marquis exalted him to the high office of steward, his happiness could +not be surpassed. So old Jonathan became an intermediary power between +Raphael and the world at large. He was the absolute disposer of his +master's fortune, the blind instrument of an unknown will, and a sixth +sense, as it were, by which the emotions of life were communicated to +Raphael. + +"I should like to speak with M. Raphael, sir," said the elderly person +to Jonathan, as he climbed up the steps some way, into a shelter from +the rain. + +"To speak with my Lord the Marquis?" the steward cried. "He scarcely +speaks even to me, his foster-father!" + +"But I am likewise his foster-father," said the old man. "If your wife +was his foster-mother, I fed him myself with the milk of the Muses. He +is my nursling, my child, carus alumnus! I formed his mind, cultivated +his understanding, developed his genius, and, I venture to say it, to +my own honor and glory. Is he not one of the most remarkable men of our +epoch? He was one of my pupils in two lower forms, and in rhetoric. I am +his professor." + +"Ah, sir, then you are M. Porriquet?" + +"Exactly, sir, but----" + +"Hush! hush!" Jonathan called to two underlings, whose voices broke the +monastic silence that shrouded the house. + +"But is the Marquis ill, sir?" the professor continued. + +"My dear sir," Jonathan replied, "Heaven only knows what is the matter +with my master. You see, there are not a couple of houses like ours +anywhere in Paris. Do you understand? Not two houses. Faith, that +there are not. My Lord the Marquis had this hotel purchased for him; it +formerly belonged to a duke and a peer of France; then he spent three +hundred thousand francs over furnishing it. That's a good deal, you +know, three hundred thousand francs! But every room in the house is a +perfect wonder. 'Good,' said I to myself when I saw this magnificence; +'it is just like it used to be in the time of my lord, his late +grandfather; and the young marquis is going to entertain all Paris +and the Court!' Nothing of the kind! My lord refused to see any one +whatever. 'Tis a funny life that he leads, M. Porriquet, you understand. +An _inconciliable_ life. He rises every day at the same time. I am the +only person, you see, that may enter his room. I open all the shutters +at seven o'clock, summer or winter. It is all arranged very oddly. As I +come in I say to him: + +"'You must get up and dress, my Lord Marquis.' + +"Then he rises and dresses himself. I have to give him his +dressing-gown, and it is always after the same pattern, and of the same +material. I am obliged to replace it when it can be used no longer, +simply to save him the trouble of asking for a new one. A queer fancy! +As a matter of fact, he has a thousand francs to spend every day, and +he does as he pleases, the dear child. And besides, I am so fond of him +that if he gave me a box on the ear on one side, I should hold out the +other to him! The most difficult things he will tell me to do, and yet I +do them, you know! He gives me a lot of trifles to attend to, that I +am well set to work! He reads the newspapers, doesn't he? Well, my +instructions are to put them always in the same place, on the same +table. I always go at the same hour and shave him myself; and don't I +tremble! The cook would forfeit the annuity of a thousand crowns that +he is to come into after my lord's death, if breakfast is not served +_inconciliably_ at ten o'clock precisely. The menus are drawn up for the +whole year round, day after day. My Lord the Marquis has not a thing +to wish for. He has strawberries whenever there are any, and he has the +earliest mackerel to be had in Paris. The programme is printed every +morning. He knows his dinner by rote. In the next place, he dresses +himself at the same hour, in the same clothes, the same linen, that +I always put on the same chair, you understand? I have to see that he +always has the same cloth; and if it should happen that his coat came +to grief (a mere supposition), I should have to replace it by another +without saying a word about it to him. If it is fine, I go in and say to +my master: + +"'You ought to go out, sir.' + +"He says Yes, or No. If he has a notion that he will go out, he doesn't +wait for his horses; they are always ready harnessed; the coachman stops +there _inconciliably_, whip in hand, just as you see him out there. +In the evening, after dinner, my master goes one day to the Opera, the +other to the Ital----no, he hasn't yet gone to the Italiens, though, +for I could not find a box for him until yesterday. Then he comes in at +eleven o'clock precisely, to go to bed. At any time in the day when +he has nothing to do, he reads--he is always reading, you see--it is a +notion he has. My instructions are to read the _Journal de la Librairie_ +before he sees it, and to buy new books, so that he finds them on his +chimney-piece on the very day that they are published. I have orders to +go into his room every hour or so, to look after the fire and everything +else, and to see that he wants nothing. He gave me a little book, sir, +to learn off by heart, with all my duties written in it--a regular +catechism! In summer I have to keep a cool and even temperature with +blocks of ice and at all seasons to put fresh flowers all about. He is +rich! He has a thousand francs to spend every day; he can indulge his +fancies! And he hadn't even necessaries for so long, poor child! He +doesn't annoy anybody; he is as good as gold; he never opens his mouth, +for instance; the house and garden are absolutely silent. In short, my +master has not a single wish left; everything comes in the twinkling +of an eye, if he raises his hand, and _instanter_. Quite right, too. +If servants are not looked after, everything falls into confusion. You +would never believe the lengths he goes about things. His rooms are +all--what do you call it?--er--er--_en suite_. Very well; just suppose, +now, that he opens his room door or the door of his study; presto! all +the other doors fly open of themselves by a patent contrivance; and then +he can go from one end of the house to the other and not find a single +door shut; which is all very nice and pleasant and convenient for us +great folk! But, on my word, it cost us a lot of money! And, after all, +M. Porriquet, he said to me at last: + +"'Jonathan, you will look after me as if I were a baby in long clothes,' +Yes, sir, 'long clothes!' those were his very words. 'You will think of +all my requirements for me.' I am the master, so to speak, and he is +the servant, you understand? The reason of it? Ah, my word, that is just +what nobody on earth knows but himself and God Almighty. It is quite +_inconciliable_!" + +"He is writing a poem!" exclaimed the old professor. + +"You think he is writing a poem, sir? It's a very absorbing affair, +then! But, you know, I don't think he is. He often tells me that he +wants to live like a _vergetation_; he wants to _vergetate_. Only +yesterday he was looking at a tulip while he was dressing, and he said +to me: + +"'There is my own life--I am _vergetating_, my poor Jonathan.' Now, some +of them insist that that is monomania. It is _inconciliable_!" + +"All this makes it very clear to me, Jonathan," the professor answered, +with a magisterial solemnity that greatly impressed the old servant, +"that your master is absorbed in a great work. He is deep in +vast meditations, and has no wish to be distracted by the petty +preoccupations of ordinary life. A man of genius forgets everything +among his intellectual labors. One day the famous Newton----" + +"Newton?--oh, ah! I don't know the name," said Jonathan. + +"Newton, a great geometrician," Porriquet went on, "once sat for +twenty-four hours leaning his elbow on the table; when he emerged from +his musings, he was a day out in his reckoning, just as if he had been +sleeping. I will go to see him, dear lad; I may perhaps be of some use +to him." + +"Not for a moment!" Jonathan cried. "Not though you were King of +France--I mean the real old one. You could not go in unless you forced +the doors open and walked over my body. But I will go and tell him you +are here, M. Porriquet, and I will put it to him like this, 'Ought he +to come up?' And he will say Yes or No. I never say, 'Do you wish?' +or 'Will you?' or 'Do you want?' Those words are scratched out of the +dictionary. He let out at me once with a 'Do you want to kill me?' he +was so very angry." + +Jonathan left the old schoolmaster in the vestibule, signing to him to +come no further, and soon returned with a favorable answer. He led the +old gentleman through one magnificent room after another, where every +door stood open. At last Porriquet beheld his pupil at some distance +seated beside the fire. + +Raphael was reading the paper. He sat in an armchair wrapped in a +dressing-gown with some large pattern on it. The intense melancholy that +preyed upon him could be discerned in his languid posture and feeble +frame; it was depicted on his brow and white face; he looked like some +plant bleached by darkness. There was a kind of effeminate grace about +him; the fancies peculiar to wealthy invalids were also noticeable. His +hands were soft and white, like a pretty woman's; he wore his fair hair, +now grown scanty, curled about his temples with a refinement of vanity. + +The Greek cap that he wore was pulled to one side by the weight of its +tassel; too heavy for the light material of which it was made. He +had let the paper-knife fall at his feet, a malachite blade with gold +mounting, which he had used to cut the leaves of the book. The amber +mouthpiece of a magnificent Indian hookah lay on his knee; the enameled +coils lay like a serpent in the room, but he had forgotten to draw out +its fresh perfume. And yet there was a complete contradiction between +the general feebleness of his young frame and the blue eyes, where all +his vitality seemed to dwell; an extraordinary intelligence seemed to +look out from them and to grasp everything at once. + +That expression was painful to see. Some would have read despair in +it, and others some inner conflict terrible as remorse. It was the +inscrutable glance of helplessness that must perforce consign its +desires to the depths of its own heart; or of a miser enjoying in +imagination all the pleasures that his money could procure for him, +while he declines to lessen his hoard; the look of a bound Prometheus, +of the fallen Napoleon of 1815, when he learned at the Elysee the +strategical blunder that his enemies had made, and asked for twenty-four +hours of command in vain; or rather it was the same look that Raphael +had turned upon the Seine, or upon his last piece of gold at the +gaming-table only a few months ago. + +He was submitting his intelligence and his will to the homely +common-sense of an old peasant whom fifty years of domestic service had +scarcely civilized. He had given up all the rights of life in order to +live; he had despoiled his soul of all the romance that lies in a wish; +and almost rejoiced at thus becoming a sort of automaton. The better to +struggle with the cruel power that he had challenged, he had followed +Origen's example, and had maimed and chastened his imagination. + +The day after he had seen the diminution of the Magic Skin, at his +sudden accession of wealth, he happened to be at his notary's house. A +well-known physician had told them quite seriously, at dessert, how +a Swiss attacked by consumption had cured himself. The man had never +spoken a word for ten years, and had compelled himself to draw six +breaths only, every minute, in the close atmosphere of a cow-house, +adhering all the time to a regimen of exceedingly light diet. "I will be +like that man," thought Raphael to himself. He wanted life at any price, +and so he led the life of a machine in the midst of all the luxury +around him. + +The old professor confronted this youthful corpse and shuddered; there +seemed something unnatural about the meagre, enfeebled frame. In the +Marquis, with his eager eyes and careworn forehead, he could hardly +recognize the fresh-cheeked and rosy pupil with the active limbs, +whom he remembered. If the worthy classicist, sage critic, and general +preserver of the traditions of correct taste had read Byron, he would +have thought that he had come on a Manfred when he looked to find Childe +Harold. + +"Good day, pere Porriquet," said Raphael, pressing the old +schoolmaster's frozen fingers in his own damp ones; "how are you?" + +"I am very well," replied the other, alarmed by the touch of that +feverish hand. "But how about you?" + +"Oh, I am hoping to keep myself in health." + +"You are engaged in some great work, no doubt?" + +"No," Raphael answered. "Exegi monumemtum, pere Porriquet; I have +contributed an important page to science, and have now bidden her +farewell for ever. I scarcely know where my manuscript is." + +"The style is no doubt correct?" queried the schoolmaster. "You, I hope, +would never have adopted the barbarous language of the new school, which +fancies it has worked such wonders by discovering Ronsard!" + +"My work treats of physiology pure and simple." + +"Oh, then, there is no more to be said," the schoolmaster answered. +"Grammar must yield to the exigencies of discovery. Nevertheless, young +man, a lucid and harmonious style--the diction of Massillon, of M. de +Buffon, of the great Racine--a classical style, in short, can never +spoil anything----But, my friend," the schoolmaster interrupted +himself, "I was forgetting the object of my visit, which concerns my own +interests." + +Too late Raphael recalled to mind the verbose eloquence and elegant +circumlocutions which in a long professorial career had grown habitual +to his old tutor, and almost regretted that he had admitted him; but +just as he was about to wish to see him safely outside, he promptly +suppressed his secret desire with a stealthy glance at the Magic Skin. +It hung there before him, fastened down upon some white material, +surrounded by a red line accurately traced about its prophetic outlines. +Since that fatal carouse, Raphael had stifled every least whim, and +had lived so as not to cause the slightest movement in the terrible +talisman. The Magic Skin was like a tiger with which he must live +without exciting its ferocity. He bore patiently, therefore, with the +old schoolmaster's prolixity. + +Porriquet spent an hour in telling him about the persecutions directed +against him ever since the Revolution of July. The worthy man, having +a liking for strong governments, had expressed the patriotic wish that +grocers should be left to their counters, statesmen to the management of +public business, advocates to the Palais de Justice, and peers of France +to the Luxembourg; but one of the popularity-seeking ministers of the +Citizen King had ousted him from his chair, on an accusation of Carlism, +and the old man now found himself without pension or post, and with no +bread to eat. As he played the part of guardian angel to a poor nephew, +for whose schooling at Saint Sulpice he was paying, he came less on his +own account than for his adopted child's sake, to entreat his former +pupil's interest with the new minister. He did not ask to be reinstated, +but only for a position at the head of some provincial school. + +QRaphael had fallen a victim to unconquerable drowsiness by the time +that the worthy man's monotonous voice ceased to sound in his ears. +Civility had compelled him to look at the pale and unmoving eyes of +the deliberate and tedious old narrator, till he himself had reached +stupefaction, magnetized in an inexplicable way by the power of inertia. + +"Well, my dear pere Porriquet," he said, not very certain what the +question was to which he was replying, "but I can do nothing for you, +nothing at all. _I wish very heartily_ that you may succeed----" + +All at once, without seeing the change wrought on the old man's sallow +and wrinkled brow by these conventional phrases, full of indifference +and selfishness, Raphael sprang to his feet like a startled roebuck. +He saw a thin white line between the black piece of hide and the red +tracing about it, and gave a cry so fearful that the poor professor was +frightened by it. + +"Old fool! Go!" he cried. "You will be appointed as headmaster! Couldn't +you have asked me for an annuity of a thousand crowns rather than a +murderous wish? Your visit would have cost me nothing. There are a +hundred thousand situations to be had in France, but I have only +one life. A man's life is worth more than all the situations in the +world.--Jonathan!" + +Jonathan appeared. + +"This is your doing, double-distilled idiot! What made you suggest +that I should see M. Porriquet?" and he pointed to the old man, who was +petrified with fright. "Did I put myself in your hands for you to tear +me in pieces? You have just shortened my life by ten years! Another +blunder of this kind, and you will lay me where I have laid my father. +Would I not far rather have possessed the beautiful Foedora? And I have +obliged that old hulk instead--that rag of humanity! I had money enough +for him. And, moreover, if all the Porriquets in the world were dying of +hunger, what is that to me?" + +Raphael's face was white with anger; a slight froth marked his trembling +lips; there was a savage gleam in his eyes. The two elders shook with +terror in his presence like two children at the sight of a snake. The +young man fell back in his armchair, a kind of reaction took place in +him, the tears flowed fast from his angry eyes. + +"Oh, my life!" he cried, "that fair life of mine. Never to know a kindly +thought again, to love no more; nothing is left to me!" + +He turned to the professor and went on in a gentle voice--"The harm +is done, my old friend. Your services have been well repaid; and my +misfortune has at any rate contributed to the welfare of a good and +worthy man." + +His tones betrayed so much feeling that the almost unintelligible +words drew tears from the two old men, such tears as are shed over some +pathetic song in a foreign tongue. + +"He is epileptic," muttered Porriquet. + +"I understand your kind intentions, my friend," Raphael answered +gently. "You would make excuses for me. Ill-health cannot be helped, but +ingratitude is a grievous fault. Leave me now," he added. "To-morrow or +the next day, or possibly to-night, you will receive your appointment; +Resistance has triumphed over Motion. Farewell." + +The old schoolmaster went away, full of keen apprehension as to +Valentin's sanity. A thrill of horror ran through him; there had been +something supernatural, he thought, in the scene he had passed through. +He could hardly believe his own impressions, and questioned them like +one awakened from a painful dream. + +"Now attend to me, Jonathan," said the young man to his old servant. +"Try to understand the charge confided to you." + +"Yes, my Lord Marquis." + +"I am as a man outlawed from humanity." + +"Yes, my Lord Marquis." + +"All the pleasures of life disport themselves round my bed of death, +and dance about me like fair women; but if I beckon to them, I must die. +Death always confronts me. You must be the barrier between the world and +me." + +"Yes, my Lord Marquis," said the old servant, wiping the drops of +perspiration from his wrinkled forehead. "But if you don't wish to +see pretty women, how will you manage at the Italiens this evening? An +English family is returning to London, and I have taken their box for +the rest of the season, and it is in a splendid position--superb; in the +first row." + +Raphael, deep in his own deep musings, paid no attention to him. + +"Do you see that splendid equipage, a brougham painted a dark brown +color, but with the arms of an ancient and noble family shining from +the panels? As it rolls past, all the shop-girls admire it, and look +longingly at the yellow satin lining, the rugs from la Savonnerie, +the daintiness and freshness of every detail, the silken cushions and +tightly-fitting glass windows. Two liveried footmen are mounted behind +this aristocratic carriage; and within, a head lies back among +the silken cushions, the feverish face and hollow eyes of Raphael, +melancholy and sad. Emblem of the doom of wealth! He flies across Paris +like a rocket, and reaches the peristyle of the Theatre Favart. The +passers-by make way for him; the two footmen help him to alight, an +envious crowd looking on the while." + +"What has that fellow done to be so rich?" asks a poor law-student, who +cannot listen to the magical music of Rossini for lack of a five-franc +piece. + +Raphael walked slowly along the gangway; he expected no enjoyment from +these pleasures he had once coveted so eagerly. In the interval before +the second act of Semiramide he walked up and down in the lobby, and +along the corridors, leaving his box, which he had not yet entered, to +look after itself. The instinct of property was dead within him already. +Like all invalids, he thought of nothing but his own sufferings. He was +leaning against the chimney-piece in the greenroom. A group had gathered +about it of dandies, young and old, of ministers, of peers without +peerages, and peerages without peers, for so the Revolution of July had +ordered matters. Among a host of adventurers and journalists, in fact, +Raphael beheld a strange, unearthly figure a few paces away among +the crowd. He went towards this grotesque object to see it better, +half-closing his eyes with exceeding superciliousness. + +"What a wonderful bit of painting!" he said to himself. The stranger's +hair and eyebrows and a Mazarin tuft on the chin had been dyed black, +but the result was a spurious, glossy, purple tint that varied its hues +according to the light; the hair had been too white, no doubt, to +take the preparation. Anxiety and cunning were depicted in the narrow, +insignificant face, with its wrinkles incrusted by thick layers of red +and white paint. This red enamel, lacking on some portions of his face, +strongly brought out his natural feebleness and livid hues. It was +impossible not to smile at this visage with the protuberant forehead +and pointed chin, a face not unlike those grotesque wooden figures that +German herdsmen carve in their spare moments. + +An attentive observer looking from Raphael to this elderly Adonis would +have remarked a young man's eyes set in a mask of age, in the case of +the Marquis, and in the other case the dim eyes of age peering forth +from behind a mask of youth. Valentin tried to recollect when and +where he had seen this little old man before. He was thin, fastidiously +cravatted, booted and spurred like one-and-twenty; he crossed his arms +and clinked his spurs as if he possessed all the wanton energy of +youth. He seemed to move about without constraint or difficulty. He +had carefully buttoned up his fashionable coat, which disguised his +powerful, elderly frame, and gave him the appearance of an antiquated +coxcomb who still follows the fashions. + +For Raphael this animated puppet possessed all the interest of an +apparition. He gazed at it as if it had been some smoke-begrimed +Rembrandt, recently restored and newly framed. This idea found him a +clue to the truth among his confused recollections; he recognized the +dealer in antiquities, the man to whom he owed his calamities! + +A noiseless laugh broke just then from the fantastical personage, +straightening the line of his lips that stretched across a row of +artificial teeth. That laugh brought out, for Raphael's heated fancy, a +strong resemblance between the man before him and the type of head +that painters have assigned to Goethe's Mephistopheles. A crowd +of superstitious thoughts entered Raphael's sceptical mind; he +was convinced of the powers of the devil and of all the sorcerer's +enchantments embodied in mediaeval tradition, and since worked up by +poets. Shrinking in horror from the destiny of Faust, he prayed for the +protection of Heaven with all the ardent faith of a dying man in God and +the Virgin. A clear, bright radiance seemed to give him a glimpse of +the heaven of Michael Angelo or of Raphael of Urbino: a venerable +white-bearded man, a beautiful woman seated in an aureole above the +clouds and winged cherub heads. Now he had grasped and received the +meaning of those imaginative, almost human creations; they seemed to +explain what had happened to him, to leave him yet one hope. + +But when the greenroom of the Italiens returned upon his sight he +beheld, not the Virgin, but a very handsome young person. The execrable +Euphrasia, in all the splendor of her toilette, with its orient pearls, +had come thither, impatient for her ardent, elderly admirer. She was +insolently exhibiting herself with her defiant face and glittering +eyes to an envious crowd of stockbrokers, a visible testimony to the +inexhaustible wealth that the old dealer permitted her to squander. + +Raphael recollected the mocking wish with which he had accepted the old +man's luckless gift, and tasted all the sweets of revenge when he beheld +the spectacle of sublime wisdom fallen to such a depth as this, +wisdom for which such humiliation had seemed a thing impossible. The +centenarian greeted Euphrasia with a ghastly smile, receiving her +honeyed words in reply. He offered her his emaciated arm, and went +twice or thrice round the greenroom with her; the envious glances and +compliments with which the crowd received his mistress delighted him; he +did not see the scornful smiles, nor hear the caustic comments to which +he gave rise. + +"In what cemetery did this young ghoul unearth that corpse of hers?" +asked a dandy of the Romantic faction. + +Euphrasia began to smile. The speaker was a slender, fair-haired youth, +with bright blue eyes, and a moustache. His short dress coat, hat tilted +over one ear, and sharp tongue, all denoted the species. + +"How many old men," said Raphael to himself, "bring an upright, +virtuous, and hard-working life to a close in folly! His feet are cold +already, and he is making love." + +"Well, sir," exclaimed Valentin, stopping the merchant's progress, while +he stared hard at Euphrasia, "have you quite forgotten the stringent +maxims of your philosophy?" + +"Ah, I am as happy now as a young man," said the other, in a cracked +voice. "I used to look at existence from a wrong standpoint. One hour of +love has a whole life in it." + +The playgoers heard the bell ring, and left the greenroom to take their +places again. Raphael and the old merchant separated. As he entered +his box, the Marquis saw Foedora sitting exactly opposite to him on the +other side of the theatre. The Countess had probably only just come, for +she was just flinging off her scarf to leave her throat uncovered, and +was occupied with going through all the indescribable manoeuvres of a +coquette arranging herself. All eyes were turned upon her. A young peer +of France had come with her; she asked him for the lorgnette she had +given him to carry. Raphael knew the despotism to which his successor +had resigned himself, in her gestures, and in the way she treated her +companion. He was also under the spell no doubt, another dupe beating +with all the might of a real affection against the woman's cold +calculations, enduring all the tortures from which Valentin had luckily +freed himself. + +Foedora's face lighted up with indescribable joy. After directing her +lorgnette upon every box in turn, to make a rapid survey of all the +dresses, she was conscious that by her toilette and her beauty she had +eclipsed the loveliest and best-dressed women in Paris. She laughed +to show her white teeth; her head with its wreath of flowers was never +still, in her quest of admiration. Her glances went from one box to +another, as she diverted herself with the awkward way in which a Russian +princess wore her bonnet, or over the utter failure of a bonnet with +which a banker's daughter had disfigured herself. + +All at once she met Raphael's steady gaze and turned pale, aghast at the +intolerable contempt in her rejected lover's eyes. Not one of her exiled +suitors had failed to own her power over them; Valentin alone was proof +against her attractions. A power that can be defied with impunity is +drawing to its end. This axiom is as deeply engraved on the heart of +woman as in the minds of kings. In Raphael, therefore, Foedora saw the +deathblow of her influence and her ability to please. An epigram of his, +made at the Opera the day before, was already known in the salons of +Paris. The biting edge of that terrible speech had already given the +Countess an incurable wound. We know how to cauterize a wound, but we +know of no treatment as yet for the stab of a phrase. As every other +woman in the house looked by turns at her and at the Marquis, Foedora +would have consigned them all to the oubliettes of some Bastille; for in +spite of her capacity for dissimulation, her discomfiture was discerned +by her rivals. Her unfailing consolation had slipped from her at last. +The delicious thought, "I am the most beautiful," the thought that at +all times had soothed every mortification, had turned into a lie. + +At the opening of the second act a woman took up her position not very +far from Raphael, in a box that had been empty hitherto. A murmur of +admiration went up from the whole house. In that sea of human faces +there was a movement of every living wave; all eyes were turned upon the +stranger lady. The applause of young and old was so prolonged, that when +the orchestra began, the musicians turned to the audience to request +silence, and then they themselves joined in the plaudits and swelled the +confusion. Excited talk began in every box, every woman equipped herself +with an opera glass, elderly men grew young again, and polished the +glasses of their lorgnettes with their gloves. The enthusiasm subsided +by degrees, the stage echoed with the voices of the singers, and order +reigned as before. The aristocratic section, ashamed of having yielded +to a spontaneous feeling, again assumed their wonted politely frigid +manner. The well-to-do dislike to be astonished at anything; at the +first sight of a beautiful thing it becomes their duty to discover the +defect in it which absolves them from admiring it,--the feeling of all +ordinary minds. Yet a few still remained motionless and heedless of the +music, artlessly absorbed in the delight of watching Raphael's neighbor. + +Valentin noticed Taillefer's mean, obnoxious countenance by Aquilina's +side in a lower box, and received an approving smirk from him. Then he +saw Emile, who seemed to say from where he stood in the orchestra, "Just +look at that lovely creature there, close beside you!" Lastly, he saw +Rastignac, with Mme. de Nucingen and her daughter, twisting his gloves +like a man in despair, because he was tethered to his place, and could +not leave it to go any nearer to the unknown fair divinity. + +Raphael's life depended upon a covenant that he had made with himself, +and had hitherto kept sacred. He would give no special heed to any +woman whatever; and the better to guard against temptation, he used +a cunningly contrived opera-glass which destroyed the harmony of the +fairest features by hideous distortions. He had not recovered from the +terror that had seized on him in the morning when, at a mere expression +of civility, the Magic Skin had contracted so abruptly. So Raphael was +determined not to turn his face in the direction of his neighbor. He sat +imperturbable as a duchess with his back against the corner of the box, +thereby shutting out half of his neighbor's view of the stage, appearing +to disregard her, and even to be unaware that a pretty woman sat there +just behind him. + +His neighbor copied Valentin's position exactly; she leaned her elbow +on the edge of her box and turned her face in three-quarter profile upon +the singers on the stage, as if she were sitting to a painter. These +two people looked like two estranged lovers still sulking, still turning +their backs upon each other, who will go into each other's arms at the +first tender word. + +Now and again his neighbor's ostrich feathers or her hair came in +contact with Raphael's head, giving him a pleasurable thrill, against +which he sternly fought. In a little while he felt the touch of the +soft frill of lace that went round her dress; he could hear the gracious +sounds of the folds of her dress itself, light rustling noises full of +enchantment; he could even feel her movements as she breathed; with the +gentle stir thus imparted to her form and to her draperies, it seemed +to Raphael that all her being was suddenly communicated to him in +an electric spark. The lace and tulle that caressed him imparted +the delicious warmth of her bare, white shoulders. By a freak in +the ordering of things, these two creatures, kept apart by social +conventions, with the abysses of death between them, breathed together +and perhaps thought of one another. Finally, the subtle perfume of aloes +completed the work of Raphael's intoxication. Opposition heated his +imagination, and his fancy, become the wilder for the limits imposed +upon it, sketched a woman for him in outlines of fire. He turned +abruptly, the stranger made a similar movement, startled no doubt at +being brought in contact with a stranger; and they remained face to +face, each with the same thought. + +"Pauline!" + +"M. Raphael!" + +Each surveyed the other, both of them petrified with astonishment. +Raphael noticed Pauline's daintily simple costume. A woman's experienced +eyes would have discerned and admired the outlines beneath the modest +gauze folds of her bodice and the lily whiteness of her throat. And +then her more than mortal clearness of soul, her maidenly modesty, her +graceful bearing, all were unchanged. Her sleeve was quivering with +agitation, for the beating of her heart was shaking her whole frame. + +"Come to the Hotel de Saint-Quentin to-morrow for your papers," she +said. "I will be there at noon. Be punctual." + +She rose hastily, and disappeared. Raphael thought of following Pauline, +feared to compromise her, and stayed. He looked at Foedora; she seemed +to him positively ugly. Unable to understand a single phrase of the +music, and feeling stifled in the theatre, he went out, and returned +home with a full heart. + +"Jonathan," he said to the old servant, as soon as he lay in bed, +"give me half a drop of laudanum on a piece of sugar, and don't wake me +to-morrow till twenty minutes to twelve." + +"I want Pauline to love me!" he cried next morning, looking at the +talisman the while in unspeakable anguish. + +The skin did not move in the least; it seemed to have lost its power to +shrink; doubtless it could not fulfil a wish fulfilled already. + +"Ah!" exclaimed Raphael, feeling as if a mantle of lead had fallen away, +which he had worn ever since the day when the talisman had been given to +him; "so you are playing me false, you are not obeying me, the pact is +broken! I am free; I shall live. Then was it all a wretched joke?" But +he did not dare to believe in his own thought as he uttered it. + +He dressed himself as simply as had formerly been his wont, and set out +on foot for his old lodging, trying to go back in fancy to the happy +days when he abandoned himself without peril to vehement desires, the +days when he had not yet condemned all human enjoyment. As he walked +he beheld Pauline--not the Pauline of the Hotel Saint-Quentin, but the +Pauline of last evening. Here was the accomplished mistress he had so +often dreamed of, the intelligent young girl with the loving nature and +artistic temperament, who understood poets, who understood poetry, and +lived in luxurious surroundings. Here, in short, was Foedora, +gifted with a great soul; or Pauline become a countess, and twice a +millionaire, as Foedora had been. When he reached the worn threshold, +and stood upon the broken step at the door, where in the old days he had +had so many desperate thoughts, an old woman came out of the room within +and spoke to him. + +"You are M. Raphael de Valentin, are you not?" + +"Yes, good mother," he replied. + +"You know your old room then," she replied; "you are expected up there." + +"Does Mme. Gaudin still own the house?" Raphael asked. + +"Oh no, sir. Mme. Gaudin is a baroness now. She lives in a fine house +of her own on the other side of the river. Her husband has come back. +My goodness, he brought back thousands and thousands. They say she could +buy up all the Quartier Saint-Jacques if she liked. She gave me her +basement room for nothing, and the remainder of her lease. Ah, she's +a kind woman all the same; she is no more proud to-day than she was +yesterday." + +Raphael hurried up the staircase to his garret; as he reached the last +few steps he heard the sounds of a piano. Pauline was there, simply +dressed in a cotton gown, but the way that it was made, like the gloves, +hat, and shawl that she had thrown carelessly upon the bed, revealed a +change of fortune. + +"Ah, there you are!" cried Pauline, turning her head, and rising with +unconcealed delight. + +Raphael went to sit beside her, flushed, confused, and happy; he looked +at her in silence. + +"Why did you leave us then?" she asked, dropping her eyes as the flush +deepened on his face. "What became of you?" + +"Ah, I have been very miserable, Pauline; I am very miserable still." + +"Alas!" she said, filled with pitying tenderness. "I guessed your fate +yesterday when I saw you so well dressed, and apparently so wealthy; but +in reality? Eh, M. Raphael, is it as it always used to be with you?" + +Valentin could not restrain the tears that sprang to his eyes. + +"Pauline," he exclaimed, "I----" + +He went no further, love sparkled in his eyes, and his emotion +overflowed his face. + +"Oh, he loves me! he loves me!" cried Pauline. + +Raphael felt himself unable to say one word; he bent his head. The young +girl took his hand at this; she pressed it as she said, half sobbing and +half laughing:-- + +"Rich, rich, happy and rich! Your Pauline is rich. But I? Oh, I ought +to be very poor to-day. I have said, times without number, that I would +give all the wealth upon this earth for those words, 'He loves me!' O +my Raphael! I have millions. You like luxury, you will be glad; but you +must love me and my heart besides, for there is so much love for you +in my heart. You don't know? My father has come back. I am a wealthy +heiress. Both he and my mother leave me completely free to decide my own +fate. I am free--do you understand?" + +Seized with a kind of frenzy, Raphael grasped Pauline's hands and kissed +them eagerly and vehemently, with an almost convulsive caress. Pauline +drew her hands away, laid them on Raphael's shoulders, and drew him +towards her. They understood one another--in that close embrace, in +the unalloyed and sacred fervor of that one kiss without an +afterthought--the first kiss by which two souls take possession of each +other. + +"Ah, I will not leave you any more," said Pauline, falling back in her +chair. "I do not know how I come to be so bold!" she added, blushing. + +"Bold, my Pauline? Do not fear it. It is love, love true and deep and +everlasting like my own, is it not?" + +"Speak!" she cried. "Go on speaking, so long your lips have been dumb +for me." + +"Then you have loved me all along?" + +"Loved you? _Mon Dieu_! How often I have wept here, setting your room +straight, and grieving for your poverty and my own. I would have sold +myself to the evil one to spare you one vexation! You are MY Raphael +to-day, really my own Raphael, with that handsome head of yours, and +your heart is mine too; yes, that above all, your heart--O wealth +inexhaustible! Well, where was I?" she went on after a pause. "Oh yes! +We have three, four, or five millions, I believe. If I were poor, I +should perhaps desire to bear your name, to be acknowledged as your +wife; but as it is, I would give up the whole world for you, I would +be your servant still, now and always. Why, Raphael, if I give you my +fortune, my heart, myself to-day, I do no more than I did that day when +I put a certain five-franc piece in the drawer there," and she pointed +to the table. "Oh, how your exultation hurt me then!" + +"Oh, why are you rich?" Raphael cried; "why is there no vanity in you? I +can do nothing for you." + +He wrung his hands in despair and happiness and love. + +"When you are the Marquise de Valentin, I know that the title and the +fortune for thee, heavenly soul, will not be worth----" + +"One hair of your head," she cried. + +"I have millions too. But what is wealth to either of us now? There is +my life--ah, that I can offer, take it." + +"Your love, Raphael, your love is all the world to me. Are your thoughts +of me? I am the happiest of the happy!" + +"Can any one overhear us?" asked Raphael. + +"Nobody," she replied, and a mischievous gesture escaped her. + +"Come, then!" cried Valentin, holding out his arms. + +She sprang upon his knees and clasped her arms about his neck. + +"Kiss me!" she cried, "after all the pain you have given me; to blot out +the memory of the grief that your joys have caused me; and for the sake +of the nights that I spent in painting hand-screens----" + +"Those hand-screens of yours?" + +"Now that we are rich, my darling, I can tell you all about it. Poor +boy! how easy it is to delude a clever man! Could you have had white +waistcoats and clean shirts twice a week for three francs every month to +the laundress? Why, you used to drink twice as much milk as your money +would have paid for. I deceived you all round--over firing, oil, and +even money. O Raphael mine, don't have me for your wife, I am far too +cunning!" she said laughing. + +"But how did you manage?" + +"I used to work till two o'clock in the morning; I gave my mother half +the money made by my screens, and the other half went to you." + +They looked at one another for a moment, both bewildered by love and +gladness. + +"Some day we shall have to pay for this happiness by some terrible +sorrow," cried Raphael. + +"Perhaps you are married?" said Pauline. "Oh, I will not give you up to +any other woman." + +"I am free, my beloved." + +"Free!" she repeated. "Free, and mine!" + +She slipped down upon her knees, clasped her hands, and looked at +Raphael in an enthusiasm of devotion. + +"I am afraid I shall go mad. How handsome you are!" she went on, passing +her fingers through her lover's fair hair. "How stupid your Countess +Foedora is! How pleased I was yesterday with the homage they all paid to +me! SHE has never been applauded. Dear, when I felt your arm against my +back, I heard a vague voice within me that cried, 'He is there!' and I +turned round and saw you. I fled, for I longed so to throw my arms about +you before them all." + +"How happy you are--you can speak!" Raphael exclaimed. "My heart is +overwhelmed; I would weep, but I cannot. Do not draw your hand away. +I could stay here looking at you like this for the rest of my life, I +think; happy and content." + +"O my love, say that once more!" + +"Ah, what are words?" answered Valentin, letting a hot tear fall on +Pauline's hands. "Some time I will try to tell you of my love; just now +I can only feel it." + +"You," she said, "with your lofty soul and your great genius, with that +heart of yours that I know so well; are you really mine, as I am yours?" + +"For ever and ever, my sweet creature," said Raphael in an uncertain +voice. "You shall be my wife, my protecting angel. My griefs have always +been dispelled by your presence, and my courage revived; that angelic +smile now on your lips has purified me, so to speak. A new life seems +about to begin for me. The cruel past and my wretched follies are hardly +more to me than evil dreams. At your side I breathe an atmosphere of +happiness, and I am pure. Be with me always," he added, pressing her +solemnly to his beating heart. + +"Death may come when it will," said Pauline in ecstasy; "I have lived!" + +Happy he who shall divine their joy, for he must have experienced it. + +"I wish that no one might enter this dear garret again, my Raphael," +said Pauline, after two hours of silence. + +"We must have the door walled up, put bars across the window, and buy +the house," the Marquis answered. + +"Yes, we will," she said. Then a moment later she added: "Our search for +your manuscripts has been a little lost sight of," and they both laughed +like children. + +"Pshaw! I don't care a jot for the whole circle of the sciences," +Raphael answered. + +"Ah, sir, and how about glory?" + +"I glory in you alone." + +"You used to be very miserable as you made these little scratches and +scrawls," she said, turning the papers over. + +"My Pauline----" + +"Oh yes, I am your Pauline--and what then?" + +"Where are you living now?" + +"In the Rue Saint Lazare. And you?" + +"In the Rue de Varenne." + +"What a long way apart we shall be until----" She stopped, and looked at +her lover with a mischievous and coquettish expression. + +"But at the most we need only be separated for a fortnight," Raphael +answered. + +"Really! we are to be married in a fortnight?" and she jumped for joy +like a child. + +"I am an unnatural daughter!" she went on. "I give no more thought to my +father or my mother, or to anything in the world. Poor love, you don't +know that my father is very ill? He returned from the Indies in very +bad health. He nearly died at Havre, where we went to find him. Good +heavens!" she cried, looking at her watch; "it is three o'clock already! +I ought to be back again when he wakes at four. I am mistress of the +house at home; my mother does everything that I wish, and my father +worships me; but I will not abuse their kindness, that would be wrong. +My poor father! He would have me go to the Italiens yesterday. You will +come to see him to-morrow, will you not?" + +"Will Madame la Marquise de Valentin honor me by taking my arm?" + +"I am going to take the key of this room away with me," she said. "Isn't +our treasure-house a palace?" + +"One more kiss, Pauline." + +"A thousand, _mon Dieu_!" she said, looking at Raphael. "Will it always +be like this? I feel as if I were dreaming." + +They went slowly down the stairs together, step for step, with arms +closely linked, trembling both of them beneath their load of joy. Each +pressing close to the other's side, like a pair of doves, they reached +the Place de la Sorbonne, where Pauline's carriage was waiting. + +"I want to go home with you," she said. "I want to see your own room and +your study, and to sit at the table where you work. It will be like old +times," she said, blushing. + +She spoke to the servant. "Joseph, before returning home I am going to +the Rue de Varenne. It is a quarter-past three now, and I must be back +by four o'clock. George must hurry the horses." And so in a few moments +the lovers came to Valentin's abode. + +"How glad I am to have seen all this for myself!" Pauline cried, +creasing the silken bed-curtains in Raphael's room between her fingers. +"As I go to sleep, I shall be here in thought. I shall imagine your dear +head on the pillow there. Raphael, tell me, did no one advise you about +the furniture of your hotel?" + +"No one whatever." + +"Really? It was not a woman who----" + +"Pauline!" + +"Oh, I know I am fearfully jealous. You have good taste. I will have a +bed like yours to-morrow." + +Quite beside himself with happiness, Raphael caught Pauline in his arms. + +"Oh, my father!" she said; "my father----" + +"I will take you back to him," cried Valentin, "for I want to be away +from you as little as possible." + +"How loving you are! I did not venture to suggest it----" + +"Are you not my life?" + +It would be tedious to set down accurately the charming prattle of the +lovers, for tones and looks and gestures that cannot be rendered alone +gave it significance. Valentin went back with Pauline to her own door, +and returned with as much happiness in his heart as mortal man can know. + +When he was seated in his armchair beside the fire, thinking over the +sudden and complete way in which his wishes had been fulfilled, a cold +shiver went through him, as if the blade of a dagger had been plunged +into his breast--he thought of the Magic Skin, and saw that it had +shrunk a little. He uttered the most tremendous of French oaths, without +any of the Jesuitical reservations made by the Abbess of Andouillettes, +leant his head against the back of the chair, and sat motionless, fixing +his unseeing eyes upon the bracket of the curtain pole. + +"Good God!" he cried; "every wish! Every desire of mine! Poor +Pauline!----" + +He took a pair of compasses and measured the extent of existence that +the morning had cost him. + +"I have scarcely enough for two months!" he said. + +A cold sweat broke out over him; moved by an ungovernable spasm of rage, +he seized the Magic Skin, exclaiming: + +"I am a perfect fool!" + +He rushed out of the house and across the garden, and flung the talisman +down a well. + +"_Vogue la galere_," cried he. "The devil take all this nonsense." + +So Raphael gave himself up to the happiness of being beloved, and led +with Pauline the life of heart and heart. Difficulties which it would +be somewhat tedious to describe had delayed their marriage, which was to +take place early in March. Each was sure of the other; their affection +had been tried, and happiness had taught them how strong it was. Never +has love made two souls, two natures, so absolutely one. The more they +came to know of each other, the more they loved. On either side there +was the same hesitating delicacy, the same transports of joy such as +angels know; there were no clouds in their heaven; the will of either +was the other's law. + +Wealthy as they both were, they had not a caprice which they could not +gratify, and for that reason had no caprices. A refined taste, a feeling +for beauty and poetry, was instinct in the soul of the bride; her +lover's smile was more to her than all the pearls of Ormuz. She +disdained feminine finery; a muslin dress and flowers formed her most +elaborate toilette. + +Pauline and Raphael shunned every one else, for solitude was abundantly +beautiful to them. The idlers at the Opera, or at the Italiens, saw this +charming and unconventional pair evening after evening. Some gossip +went the round of the salons at first, but the harmless lovers were +soon forgotten in the course of events which took place in Paris; their +marriage was announced at length to excuse them in the eyes of the +prudish; and as it happened, their servants did not babble; so their +bliss did not draw down upon them any very severe punishment. + +One morning towards the end of February, at the time when the +brightening days bring a belief in the nearness of the joys of spring, +Pauline and Raphael were breakfasting together in a small conservatory, +a kind of drawing-room filled with flowers, on a level with the garden. +The mild rays of the pale winter sunlight, breaking through the thicket +of exotic plants, warmed the air somewhat. The vivid contrast made by +the varieties of foliage, the colors of the masses of flowering shrubs, +the freaks of light and shadow, gladdened the eyes. While all the rest +of Paris still sought warmth from its melancholy hearth, these two were +laughing in a bower of camellias, lilacs, and blossoming heath. Their +happy faces rose above lilies of the valley, narcissus blooms, and +Bengal roses. A mat of plaited African grass, variegated like a carpet, +lay beneath their feet in this luxurious conservatory. The walls, +covered with a green linen material, bore no traces of damp. The +surfaces of the rustic wooden furniture shone with cleanliness. A +kitten, attracted by the odor of milk, had established itself upon the +table; it allowed Pauline to bedabble it in coffee; she was playing +merrily with it, taking away the cream that she had just allowed the +kitten to sniff at, so as to exercise its patience, and keep up the +contest. She burst out laughing at every antic, and by the comical +remarks she constantly made, she hindered Raphael from perusing the +paper; he had dropped it a dozen times already. This morning picture +seemed to overflow with inexpressible gladness, like everything that is +natural and genuine. + +Raphael, still pretending to read his paper, furtively watched Pauline +with the cat--his Pauline, in the dressing-gown that hung carelessly +about her; his Pauline, with her hair loose on her shoulders, with a +tiny, white, blue-veined foot peeping out of a velvet slipper. It was +pleasant to see her in this negligent dress; she was delightful as some +fanciful picture by Westall; half-girl, half-woman, as she seemed to +be, or perhaps more of a girl than a woman, there was no alloy in +the happiness she enjoyed, and of love she knew as yet only its first +ecstasy. When Raphael, absorbed in happy musing, had forgotten the +existence of the newspaper, Pauline flew upon it, crumpled it up into +a ball, and threw it out into the garden; the kitten sprang after the +rotating object, which spun round and round, as politics are wont to do. +This childish scene recalled Raphael to himself. He would have gone on +reading, and felt for the sheet he no longer possessed. Joyous laughter +rang out like the song of a bird, one peal leading to another. + +"I am quite jealous of the paper," she said, as she wiped away the tears +that her childlike merriment had brought into her eyes. "Now, is it not +a heinous offence," she went on, as she became a woman all at once, "to +read Russian proclamations in my presence, and to attend to the prosings +of the Emperor Nicholas rather than to looks and words of love!" + +"I was not reading, my dear angel; I was looking at you." + +Just then the gravel walk outside the conservatory rang with the sound +of the gardener's heavily nailed boots. + +"I beg your pardon, my Lord Marquis--and yours, too, madame--if I am +intruding, but I have brought you a curiosity the like of which I never +set eyes on. Drawing a bucket of water just now, with due respect, I +got out this strange salt-water plant. Here it is. It must be thoroughly +used to water, anyhow, for it isn't saturated or even damp at all. It is +as dry as a piece of wood, and has not swelled a bit. As my Lord Marquis +certainly knows a great deal more about things than I do, I thought I +ought to bring it, and that it would interest him." + +Therewith the gardener showed Raphael the inexorable piece of skin; +there were barely six square inches of it left. + +"Thanks, Vaniere," Raphael said. "The thing is very curious." + +"What is the matter with you, my angel; you are growing quite white!" +Pauline cried. + +"You can go, Vaniere." + +"Your voice frightens me," the girl went on; "it is so strangely +altered. What is it? How are you feeling? Where is the pain? You are in +pain!--Jonathan! here! call a doctor!" she cried. + +"Hush, my Pauline," Raphael answered, as he regained composure. "Let us +get up and go. Some flower here has a scent that is too much for me. It +is that verbena, perhaps." + +Pauline flew upon the innocent plant, seized it by the stalk, and flung +it out into the garden; then, with all the might of the love between +them, she clasped Raphael in a close embrace, and with languishing +coquetry raised her red lips to his for a kiss. + +"Dear angel," she cried, "when I saw you turn so white, I understood +that I could not live on without you; your life is my life too. Lay your +hand on my back, Raphael mine; I feel a chill like death. The feeling +of cold is there yet. Your lips are burning. How is your hand?--Cold as +ice," she added. + +"Mad girl!" exclaimed Raphael. + +"Why that tear? Let me drink it." + +"O Pauline, Pauline, you love me far too much!" + +"There is something very extraordinary going on in your mind, Raphael! +Do not dissimulate. I shall very soon find out your secret. Give that to +me," she went on, taking the Magic Skin. + +"You are my executioner!" the young man exclaimed, glancing in horror at +the talisman. + +"How changed your voice is!" cried Pauline, as she dropped the fatal +symbol of destiny. + +"Do you love me?" he asked. + +"Do I love you? Is there any doubt?" + +"Then, leave me, go away!" + +The poor child went. + +"So!" cried Raphael, when he was alone. "In an enlightened age, when we +have found out that diamonds are a crystallized form of charcoal, at +a time when everything is made clear, when the police would hale a new +Messiah before the magistrates, and submit his miracles to the Academie +des Sciences--in an epoch when we no longer believe in anything but a +notary's signature--that I, forsooth, should believe in a sort of _Mene, +Tekel, Upharsin_! No, by Heaven, I will not believe that the Supreme +Being would take pleasure in torturing a harmless creature.--Let us see +the learned about it." + +Between the Halle des Vins, with its extensive assembly of barrels, and +the Salpetriere, that extensive seminary of drunkenness, lies a small +pond, which Raphael soon reached. All sorts of ducks of rare varieties +were there disporting themselves; their colored markings shone in the +sun like the glass in cathedral windows. Every kind of duck in the +world was represented, quacking, dabbling, and moving about--a kind +of parliament of ducks assembled against its will, but luckily without +either charter or political principles, living in complete immunity from +sportsmen, under the eyes of any naturalist that chanced to see them. + +"That is M. Lavrille," said one of the keepers to Raphael, who had asked +for that high priest of zoology. + +The Marquis saw a short man buried in profound reflections, caused by +the appearance of a pair of ducks. The man of science was middle-aged; +he had a pleasant face, made pleasanter still by a kindly expression, +but an absorption in scientific ideas engrossed his whole person. His +peruke was strangely turned up, by being constantly raised to scratch +his head; so that a line of white hair was left plainly visible, a +witness to an enthusiasm for investigation, which, like every other +strong passion, so withdraws us from mundane considerations, that we +lose all consciousness of the "I" within us. Raphael, the student and +man of science, looked respectfully at the naturalist, who devoted his +nights to enlarging the limits of human knowledge, and whose very errors +reflected glory upon France; but a she-coxcomb would have laughed, +no doubt, at the break of continuity between the breeches and striped +waistcoat worn by the man of learning; the interval, moreover, was +modestly filled by a shirt which had been considerably creased, for +he stooped and raised himself by turns, as his zoological observations +required. + +After the first interchange of civilities, Raphael thought it necessary +to pay M. Lavrille a banal compliment upon his ducks. + +"Oh, we are well off for ducks," the naturalist replied. "The genus, +moreover, as you doubtless know, is the most prolific in the order +of palmipeds. It begins with the swan and ends with the zin-zin duck, +comprising in all one hundred and thirty-seven very distinct varieties, +each having its own name, habits, country, and character, and every one +no more like another than a white man is like a negro. Really, sir, +when we dine off a duck, we have no notion for the most part of the vast +extent----" + +He interrupted himself as he saw a small pretty duck come up to the +surface of the pond. + +"There you see the cravatted swan, a poor native of Canada; he has come +a very long way to show us his brown and gray plumage and his little +black cravat! Look, he is preening himself. That one is the famous eider +duck that provides the down, the eider-down under which our fine ladies +sleep; isn't it pretty? Who would not admire the little pinkish white +breast and the green beak? I have just been a witness, sir," he went on, +"to a marriage that I had long despaired of bringing about; they have +paired rather auspiciously, and I shall await the results very eagerly. +This will be a hundred and thirty-eighth species, I flatter myself, to +which, perhaps, my name will be given. That is the newly matched pair," +he said, pointing out two of the ducks; "one of them is a laughing goose +(_anas albifrons_), and the other the great whistling duck, Buffon's +_anas ruffina_. I have hesitated a long while between the whistling +duck, the duck with white eyebrows, and the shoveler duck (_anas +clypeata_). Stay, that is the shoveler--that fat, brownish black rascal, +with the greenish neck and that coquettish iridescence on it. But the +whistling duck was a crested one, sir, and you will understand that I +deliberated no longer. We only lack the variegated black-capped duck +now. These gentlemen here, unanimously claim that that variety of +duck is only a repetition of the curve-beaked teal, but for my own +part,"--and the gesture he made was worth seeing. It expressed at once +the modesty and pride of a man of science; the pride full of obstinacy, +and the modesty well tempered with assurance. + +"I don't think it is," he added. "You see, my dear sir, that we are not +amusing ourselves here. I am engaged at this moment upon a monograph on +the genus duck. But I am at your disposal." + +While they went towards a rather pleasant house in the Rue du Buffon, +Raphael submitted the skin to M. Lavrille's inspection. + +"I know the product," said the man of science, when he had turned his +magnifying glass upon the talisman. "It used to be used for covering +boxes. The shagreen is very old. They prefer to use skate's skin +nowadays for making sheaths. This, as you are doubtless aware, is the +hide of the _raja sephen_, a Red Sea fish." + +"But this, sir, since you are so exceedingly good----" + +"This," the man of science interrupted, as he resumed, "this is quite +another thing; between these two shagreens, sir, there is a difference +just as wide as between sea and land, or fish and flesh. The fish's skin +is harder, however, than the skin of the land animal. This," he said, as +he indicated the talisman, "is, as you doubtless know, one of the most +curious of zoological products." + +"But to proceed----" said Raphael. + +"This," replied the man of science, as he flung himself down into his +armchair, "is an ass' skin, sir." + +"Yes, I know," said the young man. + +"A very rare variety of ass found in Persia," the naturalist continued, +"the onager of the ancients, equus asinus, the _koulan_ of the Tartars; +Pallas went out there to observe it, and has made it known to science, +for as a matter of fact the animal for a long time was believed to be +mythical. It is mentioned, as you know, in Holy Scripture; Moses forbade +that it should be coupled with its own species, and the onager is yet +more famous for the prostitutions of which it was the object, and which +are often mentioned by the prophets of the Bible. Pallas, as you know +doubtless, states in his _Act. Petrop._ tome II., that these bizarre +excesses are still devoutly believed in among the Persians and the +Nogais as a sovereign remedy for lumbago and sciatic gout. We poor +Parisians scarcely believe that. The Museum has no example of the +onager. + +"What a magnificent animal!" he continued. "It is full of mystery; +its eyes are provided with a sort of burnished covering, to which the +Orientals attribute the powers of fascination; it has a glossier and +finer coat than our handsomest horses possess, striped with more or less +tawny bands, very much like the zebra's hide. There is something pliant +and silky about its hair, which is sleek to the touch. Its powers of +sight vie in precision and accuracy with those of man; it is rather +larger than our largest domestic donkeys, and is possessed of +extraordinary courage. If it is surprised by any chance, it defends +itself against the most dangerous wild beasts with remarkable success; +the rapidity of its movements can only be compared with the flight of +birds; an onager, sir, would run the best Arab or Persian horses to +death. According to the father of the conscientious Doctor Niebuhr, +whose recent loss we are deploring, as you doubtless know, the ordinary +average pace of one of these wonderful creatures would be seven thousand +geometric feet per hour. Our own degenerate race of donkeys can give no +idea of the ass in his pride and independence. He is active and spirited +in his demeanor; he is cunning and sagacious; there is grace about the +outlines of his head; every movement is full of attractive charm. In +the East he is the king of beasts. Turkish and Persian superstition even +credits him with a mysterious origin; and when stories of the prowess +attributed to him are told in Thibet or in Tartary, the speakers mingle +Solomon's name with that of this noble animal. A tame onager, in short, +is worth an enormous amount; it is well-nigh impossible to catch them +among the mountains, where they leap like roebucks, and seem as if they +could fly like birds. Our myth of the winged horse, our Pegasus, had its +origin doubtless in these countries, where the shepherds could see the +onager springing from one rock to another. In Persia they breed asses +for the saddle, a cross between a tamed onager and a she-ass, and they +paint them red, following immemorial tradition. Perhaps it was this +custom that gave rise to our own proverb, 'Surely as a red donkey.' At +some period when natural history was much neglected in France, I think a +traveler must have brought over one of these strange beasts that endures +servitude with such impatience. Hence the adage. The skin that you +have laid before me is the skin of an onager. Opinions differ as to the +origin of the name. Some claim that _Chagri_ is a Turkish word; others +insist that _Chagri_ must be the name of the place where this animal +product underwent the chemical process of preparation so clearly +described by Pallas, to which the peculiar graining that we admire is +due; Martellens has written to me saying that _Chaagri_ is a river----" + +"I thank you, sir, for the information that you have given me; it would +furnish an admirable footnote for some Dom Calmet or other, if such +erudite hermits yet exist; but I have had the honor of pointing out to +you that this scrap was in the first instance quite as large as that +map," said Raphael, indicating an open atlas to Lavrille; "but it has +shrunk visibly in three months' time----" + +"Quite so," said the man of science. "I understand. The remains of any +substance primarily organic are naturally subject to a process of +decay. It is quite easy to understand, and its progress depends upon +atmospherical conditions. Even metals contract and expand appreciably, +for engineers have remarked somewhat considerable interstices between +great blocks of stone originally clamped together with iron bars. The +field of science is boundless, but human life is very short, so that we +do not claim to be acquainted with all the phenomena of nature." + +"Pardon the question that I am about to ask you, sir," Raphael began, +half embarrassed, "but are you quite sure that this piece of skin is +subject to the ordinary laws of zoology, and that it can be stretched?" + +"Certainly----oh, bother!----" muttered M. Lavrille, trying to stretch +the talisman. "But if you, sir, will go to see Planchette," he added, +"the celebrated professor of mechanics, he will certainly discover some +method of acting upon this skin, of softening and expanding it." + +"Ah, sir, you are the preserver of my life," and Raphael took leave of +the learned naturalist and hurried off to Planchette, leaving the worthy +Lavrille in his study, all among the bottles and dried plants that +filled it up. + +Quite unconsciously Raphael brought away with him from this visit, +all of science that man can grasp, a terminology to wit. Lavrille, the +worthy man, was very much like Sancho Panza giving to Don Quixote the +history of the goats; he was entertaining himself by making out a list +of animals and ticking them off. Even now that his life was nearing its +end, he was scarcely acquainted with a mere fraction of the countless +numbers of the great tribes that God has scattered, for some unknown +end, throughout the ocean of worlds. + +Raphael was well pleased. "I shall keep my ass well in hand," cried he. +Sterne had said before his day, "Let us take care of our ass, if we wish +to live to old age." But it is such a fantastic brute! + +Planchette was a tall, thin man, a poet of a surety, lost in one +continual thought, and always employed in gazing into the bottomless +abyss of Motion. Commonplace minds accuse these lofty intellects of +madness; they form a misinterpreted race apart that lives in a wonderful +carelessness of luxuries or other people's notions. They will spend +whole days at a stretch, smoking a cigar that has gone out, and enter +a drawing-room with the buttons on their garments not in every case +formally wedded to the button-holes. Some day or other, after a long +time spent in measuring space, or in accumulating Xs under Aa-Gg, they +succeed in analyzing some natural law, and resolve it into its elemental +principles, and all on a sudden the crowd gapes at a new machine; or it +is a handcart perhaps that overwhelms us with astonishment by the apt +simplicity of its construction. The modest man of science smiles at +his admirers, and remarks, "What is that invention of mine? Nothing +whatever. Man cannot create a force; he can but direct it; and science +consists in learning from nature." + +The mechanician was standing bolt upright, planted on both feet, like +some victim dropped straight from the gibbet, when Raphael broke in upon +him. He was intently watching an agate ball that rolled over a sun-dial, +and awaited its final settlement. The worthy man had received neither +pension nor decoration; he had not known how to make the right use of +his ability for calculation. He was happy in his life spent on the watch +for a discovery; he had no thought either of reputation, of the outer +world, nor even of himself, and led the life of science for the sake of +science. + +"It is inexplicable," he exclaimed. "Ah, your servant, sir," he went on, +becoming aware of Raphael's existence. "How is your mother? You must go +and see my wife." + +"And I also could have lived thus," thought Raphael, as he recalled the +learned man from his meditations by asking of him how to produce any +effect on the talisman, which he placed before him. + +"Although my credulity must amuse you, sir," so the Marquis ended, "I +will conceal nothing from you. That skin seems to me to be endowed with +an insuperable power of resistance." + +"People of fashion, sir, always treat science rather superciliously," +said Planchette. "They all talk to us pretty much as the _incroyable_ +did when he brought some ladies to see Lalande just after an eclipse, +and remarked, 'Be so good as to begin it over again!' What effect do you +want to produce? The object of the science of mechanics is either the +application or the neutralization of the laws of motion. As for motion +pure and simple, I tell you humbly, that we cannot possibly define it. +That disposed of, unvarying phenomena have been observed which accompany +the actions of solids and fluids. If we set up the conditions by +which these phenomena are brought to pass, we can transport bodies or +communicate locomotive power to them at a predetermined rate of speed. +We can project them, divide them up in a few or an infinite number of +pieces, accordingly as we break them or grind them to powder; we can +twist bodies or make them rotate, modify, compress, expand, or extend +them. The whole science, sir, rests upon a single fact. + +"You see this ball," he went on; "here it lies upon this slab. Now, +it is over there. What name shall we give to what has taken place, +so natural from a physical point of view, so amazing from a moral? +Movement, locomotion, changing of place? What prodigious vanity lurks +underneath the words. Does a name solve the difficulty? Yet it is the +whole of our science for all that. Our machines either make direct use +of this agency, this fact, or they convert it. This trifling phenomenon, +applied to large masses, would send Paris flying. We can increase speed +by an expenditure of force, and augment the force by an increase of +speed. But what are speed and force? Our science is as powerless to tell +us that as to create motion. Any movement whatever is an immense power, +and man does not create power of any kind. Everything is movement, +thought itself is a movement, upon movement nature is based. Death is a +movement whose limitations are little known. If God is eternal, be +sure that He moves perpetually; perhaps God is movement. That is +why movement, like God is inexplicable, unfathomable, unlimited, +incomprehensible, intangible. Who has ever touched, comprehended, or +measured movement? We feel its effects without seeing it; we can even +deny them as we can deny the existence of a God. Where is it? Where +is it not? Whence comes it? What is its source? What is its end? It +surrounds us, it intrudes upon us, and yet escapes us. It is evident as +a fact, obscure as an abstraction; it is at once effect and cause. It +requires space, even as we, and what is space? Movement alone recalls +it to us; without movement, space is but an empty meaningless word. +Like space, like creation, like the infinite, movement is an insoluble +problem which confounds human reason; man will never conceive it, +whatever else he may be permitted to conceive. + +"Between each point in space occupied in succession by that ball," +continued the man of science, "there is an abyss confronting human +reason, an abyss into which Pascal fell. In order to produce any +effect upon an unknown substance, we ought first of all to study that +substance; to know whether, in accordance with its nature, it will be +broken by the force of a blow, or whether it will withstand it; if it +breaks in pieces, and you have no wish to split it up, we shall not +achieve the end proposed. If you want to compress it, a uniform impulse +must be communicated to all the particles of the substance, so as to +diminish the interval that separates them in an equal degree. If you +wish to expand it, we should try to bring a uniform eccentric force to +bear on every molecule; for unless we conform accurately to this law, +we shall have breaches in continuity. The modes of motion, sir, are +infinite, and no limit exists to combinations of movement. Upon what +effect have you determined?" + +"I want any kind of pressure that is strong enough to expand the skin +indefinitely," began Raphael, quite of out patience. + +"Substance is finite," the mathematician put in, "and therefore will not +admit of indefinite expansion, but pressure will necessarily increase +the extent of surface at the expense of the thickness, which will be +diminished until the point is reached when the material gives out----" + +"Bring about that result, sir," Raphael cried, "and you will have earned +millions." + +"Then I should rob you of your money," replied the other, phlegmatic as +a Dutchman. "I am going to show you, in a word or two, that a machine +can be made that is fit to crush Providence itself in pieces like a fly. +It would reduce a man to the conditions of a piece of waste paper; a +man--boots and spurs, hat and cravat, trinkets and gold, and all----" + +"What a fearful machine!" + +"Instead of flinging their brats into the water, the Chinese ought +to make them useful in this way," the man of science went on, without +reflecting on the regard man has for his progeny. + +Quite absorbed by his idea, Planchette took an empty flower-pot, with a +hole in the bottom, and put it on the surface of the dial, then he +went to look for a little clay in a corner of the garden. Raphael stood +spellbound, like a child to whom his nurse is telling some wonderful +story. Planchette put the clay down upon the slab, drew a pruning-knife +from his pocket, cut two branches from an elder tree, and began to +clean them of pith by blowing through them, as if Raphael had not been +present. + +"There are the rudiments of the apparatus," he said. Then he connected +one of the wooden pipes with the bottom of the flower-pot by way of +a clay joint, in such a way that the mouth of the elder stem was just +under the hole of the flower-pot; you might have compared it to a big +tobacco-pipe. He spread a bed of clay over the surface of the slab, in a +shovel-shaped mass, set down the flower-pot at the wider end of it, and +laid the pipe of the elder stem along the portion which represented the +handle of the shovel. Next he put a lump of clay at the end of the elder +stem and therein planted the other pipe, in an upright position, forming +a second elbow which connected it with the first horizontal pipe in such +a manner that the air, or any given fluid in circulation, could flow +through this improvised piece of mechanism from the mouth of the +vertical tube, along the intermediate passages, and so into the large +empty flower-pot. + +"This apparatus, sir," he said to Raphael, with all the gravity of an +academician pronouncing his initiatory discourse, "is one of the great +Pascal's grandest claims upon our admiration." + +"I don't understand." + +The man of science smiled. He went up to a fruit-tree and took down a +little phial in which the druggist had sent him some liquid for catching +ants; he broke off the bottom and made a funnel of the top, carefully +fitting it to the mouth of the vertical hollowed stem that he had set in +the clay, and at the opposite end to the great reservoir, represented +by the flower-pot. Next, by means of a watering-pot, he poured in +sufficient water to rise to the same level in the large vessel and in +the tiny circular funnel at the end of the elder stem. + +Raphael was thinking of his piece of skin. + +"Water is considered to-day, sir, to be an incompressible body," said +the mechanician; "never lose sight of that fundamental principle; still +it can be compressed, though only so very slightly that we should regard +its faculty for contracting as a zero. You see the amount of surface +presented by the water at the brim of the flower-pot?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Very good; now suppose that that surface is a thousand times larger +than the orifice of the elder stem through which I poured the liquid. +Here, I am taking the funnel away----" + +"Granted." + +"Well, then, if by any method whatever I increase the volume of that +quantity of water by pouring in yet more through the mouth of the little +tube; the water thus compelled to flow downwards would rise in the +reservoir, represented by the flower-pot, until it reached the same +level at either end." + +"That is quite clear," cried Raphael. + +"But there is this difference," the other went on. "Suppose that the +thin column of water poured into the little vertical tube there exerts +a force equal, say, to a pound weight, for instance, its action will +be punctually communicated to the great body of the liquid, and will be +transmitted to every part of the surface represented by the water in the +flower-pot so that at the surface there will be a thousand columns of +water, every one pressing upwards as if they were impelled by a force +equal to that which compels the liquid to descend in the vertical tube; +and of necessity they reproduce here," said Planchette, indicating to +Raphael the top of the flower-pot, "the force introduced over there, a +thousand-fold," and the man of science pointed out to the marquis the +upright wooden pipe set in the clay. + +"That is quite simple," said Raphael. + +Planchette smiled again. + +"In other words," he went on, with the mathematician's natural stubborn +propensity for logic, "in order to resist the force of the incoming +water, it would be necessary to exert, upon every part of the large +surface, a force equal to that brought into action in the vertical +column, but with this difference--if the column of liquid is a foot in +height, the thousand little columns of the wide surface will only have a +very slight elevating power. + +"Now," said Planchette, as he gave a fillip to his bits of stick, +"let us replace this funny little apparatus by steel tubes of suitable +strength and dimensions; and if you cover the liquid surface of the +reservoir with a strong sliding plate of metal, and if to this metal +plate you oppose another, solid enough and strong enough to resist any +test; if, furthermore, you give me the power of continually adding water +to the volume of liquid contents by means of the little vertical tube, +the object fixed between the two solid metal plates must of necessity +yield to the tremendous crushing force which indefinitely compresses it. +The method of continually pouring in water through a little tube, like +the manner of communicating force through the volume of the liquid to a +small metal plate, is an absurdly primitive mechanical device. A brace +of pistons and a few valves would do it all. Do you perceive, my dear +sir," he said taking Valentin by the arm, "there is scarcely a substance +in existence that would not be compelled to dilate when fixed in between +these two indefinitely resisting surfaces?" + +"What! the author of the _Lettres provinciales_ invented it?" Raphael +exclaimed. + +"He and no other, sir. The science of mechanics knows no simpler nor +more beautiful contrivance. The opposite principle, the capacity of +expansion possessed by water, has brought the steam-engine into +being. But water will only expand up to a certain point, while its +incompressibility, being a force in a manner negative, is, of necessity, +infinite." + +"If this skin is expanded," said Raphael, "I promise you to erect a +colossal statue to Blaise Pascal; to found a prize of a hundred thousand +francs to be offered every ten years for the solution of the grandest +problem of mechanical science effected during the interval; to find +dowries for all your cousins and second cousins, and finally to build an +asylum on purpose for impoverished or insane mathematicians." + +"That would be exceedingly useful," Planchette replied. "We will go to +Spieghalter to-morrow, sir," he continued, with the serenity of a man +living on a plane wholly intellectual. "That distinguished mechanic has +just completed, after my own designs, an improved mechanical arrangement +by which a child could get a thousand trusses of hay inside his cap." + +"Then good-bye till to-morrow." + +"Till to-morrow, sir." + +"Talk of mechanics!" cried Raphael; "isn't it the greatest of the +sciences? The other fellow with his onagers, classifications, ducks, and +species, and his phials full of bottled monstrosities, is at best only +fit for a billiard-marker in a saloon." + +The next morning Raphael went off in great spirits to find Planchette, +and together they set out for the Rue de la Sante--auspicious +appellation! Arrived at Spieghalter's, the young man found himself in a +vast foundry; his eyes lighted upon a multitude of glowing and roaring +furnaces. There was a storm of sparks, a deluge of nails, an ocean +of pistons, vices, levers, valves, girders, files, and nuts; a sea of +melted metal, baulks of timber and bar-steel. Iron filings filled your +throat. There was iron in the atmosphere; the men were covered with it; +everything reeked of iron. The iron seemed to be a living organism; it +became a fluid, moved, and seemed to shape itself intelligently after +every fashion, to obey the worker's every caprice. Through the uproar +made by the bellows, the crescendo of the falling hammers, and the +shrill sounds of the lathes that drew groans from the steel, Raphael +passed into a large, clean, and airy place where he was able to inspect +at his leisure the great press that Planchette had told him about. He +admired the cast-iron beams, as one might call them, and the twin bars +of steel coupled together with indestructible bolts. + +"If you were to give seven rapid turns to that crank," said Spieghalter, +pointing out a beam of polished steel, "you would make a steel bar spurt +out in thousands of jets, that would get into your legs like needles." + +"The deuce!" exclaimed Raphael. + +Planchette himself slipped the piece of skin between the metal plates +of the all-powerful press; and, brimful of the certainty of a scientific +conviction, he worked the crank energetically. + +"Lie flat, all of you; we are dead men!" thundered Spieghalter, as he +himself fell prone on the floor. + +A hideous shrieking sound rang through the workshops. The water in +the machine had broken the chamber, and now spouted out in a jet of +incalculable force; luckily it went in the direction of an old furnace, +which was overthrown, enveloped and carried away by a waterspout. + +"Ha!" remarked Planchette serenely, "the piece of skin is as safe and +sound as my eye. There was a flaw in your reservoir somewhere, or a +crevice in the large tube----" + +"No, no; I know my reservoir. The devil is in your contrivance, sir; you +can take it away," and the German pounced upon a smith's hammer, flung +the skin down on an anvil, and, with all the strength that rage gives, +dealt the talisman the most formidable blow that had ever resounded +through his workshops. + +"There is not so much as a mark on it!" said Planchette, stroking the +perverse bit of skin. + +The workmen hurried in. The foreman took the skin and buried it in the +glowing coal of a forge, while, in a semi-circle round the fire, they +all awaited the action of a huge pair of bellows. Raphael, Spieghalter, +and Professor Planchette stood in the midst of the grimy expectant +crowd. Raphael, looking round on faces dusted over with iron filings, +white eyes, greasy blackened clothing, and hairy chests, could have +fancied himself transported into the wild nocturnal world of German +ballad poetry. After the skin had been in the fire for ten minutes, the +foreman pulled it out with a pair of pincers. + +"Hand it over to me," said Raphael. + +The foreman held it out by way of a joke. The Marquis readily handled +it; it was cool and flexible between his fingers. An exclamation of +alarm went up; the workmen fled in terror. Valentin was left alone with +Planchette in the empty workshop. + +"There is certainly something infernal in the thing!" cried Raphael, +in desperation. "Is no human power able to give me one more day of +existence?" + +"I made a mistake, sir," said the mathematician, with a penitent +expression; "we ought to have subjected that peculiar skin to the action +of a rolling machine. Where could my eyes have been when I suggested +compression!" + +"It was I that asked for it," Raphael answered. + +The mathematician heaved a sigh of relief, like a culprit acquitted by a +dozen jurors. Still, the strange problem afforded by the skin interested +him; he meditated a moment, and then remarked: + +"This unknown material ought to be treated chemically by re-agents. Let +us call on Japhet--perhaps the chemist may have better luck than the +mechanic." + +Valentin urged his horse into a rapid trot, hoping to find the chemist, +the celebrated Japhet, in his laboratory. + +"Well, old friend," Planchette began, seeing Japhet in his armchair, +examining a precipitate; "how goes chemistry?" + +"Gone to sleep. Nothing new at all. The Academie, however, has +recognized the existence of salicine, but salicine, asparagine, +vauqueline, and digitaline are not really discoveries----" + +"Since you cannot invent substances," said Raphael, "you are obliged to +fall back on inventing names." + +"Most emphatically true, young man." + +"Here," said Planchette, addressing the chemist, "try to analyze this +composition; if you can extract any element whatever from it, I christen +it diaboline beforehand, for we have just smashed a hydraulic press in +trying to compress it." + +"Let's see! let's have a look at it!" cried the delighted chemist; "it +may, perhaps, be a fresh element." + +"It is simply a piece of the skin of an ass, sir," said Raphael. + +"Sir!" said the illustrious chemist sternly. + +"I am not joking," the Marquis answered, laying the piece of skin before +him. + +Baron Japhet applied the nervous fibres of his tongue to the skin; he +had skill in thus detecting salts, acids, alkalis, and gases. After +several experiments, he remarked: + +"No taste whatever! Come, we will give it a little fluoric acid to +drink." + +Subjected to the influence of this ready solvent of animal tissue, the +skin underwent no change whatsoever. + +"It is not shagreen at all!" the chemist cried. "We will treat this +unknown mystery as a mineral, and try its mettle by dropping it in a +crucible where I have at this moment some red potash." + +Japhet went out, and returned almost immediately. + +"Allow me to cut away a bit of this strange substance, sir," he said to +Raphael; "it is so extraordinary----" + +"A bit!" exclaimed Raphael; "not so much as a hair's-breadth. You may +try, though," he added, half banteringly, half sadly. + +The chemist broke a razor in his desire to cut the skin; he tried to +break it by a powerful electric shock; next he submitted it to the +influence of a galvanic battery; but all the thunderbolts his science +wotted of fell harmless on the dreadful talisman. + +It was seven o'clock in the evening. Planchette, Japhet, and Raphael, +unaware of the flight of time, were awaiting the outcome of a final +experiment. The Magic Skin emerged triumphant from a formidable +encounter in which it had been engaged with a considerable quantity of +chloride of nitrogen. + +"It is all over with me," Raphael wailed. "It is the finger of God! I +shall die!----" and he left the two amazed scientific men. + +"We must be very careful not to talk about this affair at the Academie; +our colleagues there would laugh at us," Planchette remarked to the +chemist, after a long pause, in which they looked at each other without +daring to communicate their thoughts. The learned pair looked like +two Christians who had issued from their tombs to find no God in the +heavens. Science had been powerless; acids, so much clear water; red +potash had been discredited; the galvanic battery and electric shock had +been a couple of playthings. + +"A hydraulic press broken like a biscuit!" commented Planchette. + +"I believe in the devil," said the Baron Japhet, after a moment's +silence. + +"And I in God," replied Planchette. + +Each spoke in character. The universe for a mechanician is a machine +that requires an operator; for chemistry--that fiendish employment of +decomposing all things--the world is a gas endowed with the power of +movement. + +"We cannot deny the fact," the chemist replied. + +"Pshaw! those gentlemen the doctrinaires have invented a nebulous +aphorism for our consolation--Stupid as a fact." + +"Your aphorism," said the chemist, "seems to me as a fact very stupid." + +They began to laugh, and went off to dine like folk for whom a miracle +is nothing more than a phenomenon. + +Valentin reached his own house shivering with rage and consumed with +anger. He had no more faith in anything. Conflicting thoughts shifted +and surged to and fro in his brain, as is the case with every man +brought face to face with an inconceivable fact. He had readily +believed in some hidden flaw in Spieghalter's apparatus; he had not been +surprised by the incompetence and failure of science and of fire; +but the flexibility of the skin as he handled it, taken with its +stubbornness when all means of destruction that man possesses had +been brought to bear upon it in vain--these things terrified him. The +incontrovertible fact made him dizzy. + +"I am mad," he muttered. "I have had no food since the morning, and yet +I am neither hungry nor thirsty, and there is a fire in my breast that +burns me." + +He put back the skin in the frame where it had been enclosed but lately, +drew a line in red ink about the actual configuration of the talisman, +and seated himself in his armchair. + +"Eight o'clock already!" he exclaimed. "To-day has gone like a dream." + +He leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair, propped his head with +his left hand, and so remained, lost in secret dark reflections and +consuming thoughts that men condemned to die bear away with them. + +"O Pauline!" he cried. "Poor child! there are gulfs that love can never +traverse, despite the strength of his wings." + +Just then he very distinctly heard a smothered sigh, and knew by one +of the most tender privileges of passionate love that it was Pauline's +breathing. + +"That is my death warrant," he said to himself. "If she were there, I +should wish to die in her arms." + +A burst of gleeful and hearty laughter made him turn his face towards +the bed; he saw Pauline's face through the transparent curtains, smiling +like a child for gladness over a successful piece of mischief. Her +pretty hair fell over her shoulders in countless curls; she looked like +a Bengal rose upon a pile of white roses. + +"I cajoled Jonathan," said she. "Doesn't the bed belong to me, to me who +am your wife? Don't scold me, darling; I only wanted to surprise you, to +sleep beside you. Forgive me for my freak." + +She sprang out of bed like a kitten, showed herself gleaming in her lawn +raiment, and sat down on Raphael's knee. + +"Love, what gulf were you talking about?" she said, with an anxious +expression apparent upon her face. + +"Death." + +"You hurt me," she answered. "There are some thoughts upon which we, +poor women that we are, cannot dwell; they are death to us. Is it +strength of love in us, or lack of courage? I cannot tell. Death does +not frighten me," she began again, laughingly. "To die with you, both +together, to-morrow morning, in one last embrace, would be joy. It seems +to me that even then I should have lived more than a hundred years. +What does the number of days matter if we have spent a whole lifetime of +peace and love in one night, in one hour?" + +"You are right; Heaven is speaking through that pretty mouth of yours. +Grant that I may kiss you, and let us die," said Raphael. + +"Then let us die," she said, laughing. + +Towards nine o'clock in the morning the daylight streamed through the +chinks of the window shutters. Obscured somewhat by the muslin curtains, +it yet sufficed to show clearly the rich colors of the carpet, the silks +and furniture of the room, where the two lovers were lying asleep. The +gilding sparkled here and there. A ray of sunshine fell and faded upon +the soft down quilt that the freaks of live had thrown to the ground. +The outlines of Pauline's dress, hanging from a cheval glass, appeared +like a shadowy ghost. Her dainty shoes had been left at a distance from +the bed. A nightingale came to perch upon the sill; its trills repeated +over again, and the sounds of its wings suddenly shaken out for flight, +awoke Raphael. + +"For me to die," he said, following out a thought begun in his dream, +"my organization, the mechanism of flesh and bone, that is quickened +by the will in me, and makes of me an individual MAN, must display some +perceptible disease. Doctors ought to understand the symptoms of any +attack on vitality, and could tell me whether I am sick or sound." + +He gazed at his sleeping wife. She had stretched her head out to him, +expressing in this way even while she slept the anxious tenderness of +love. Pauline seemed to look at him as she lay with her face turned +towards him in an attitude as full of grace as a young child's, with her +pretty, half-opened mouth held out towards him, as she drew her light, +even breath. Her little pearly teeth seemed to heighten the redness of +the fresh lips with the smile hovering over them. The red glow in her +complexion was brighter, and its whiteness was, so to speak, whiter +still just then than in the most impassioned moments of the waking day. +In her unconstrained grace, as she lay, so full of believing trust, +the adorable attractions of childhood were added to the enchantments of +love. + +Even the most unaffected women still obey certain social conventions, +which restrain the free expansion of the soul within them during their +waking hours; but slumber seems to give them back the spontaneity of +life which makes infancy lovely. Pauline blushed for nothing; she was +like one of those beloved and heavenly beings, in whom reason has not +yet put motives into their actions and mystery into their glances. +Her profile stood out in sharp relief against the fine cambric of the +pillows; there was a certain sprightliness about her loose hair in +confusion, mingled with the deep lace ruffles; but she was sleeping in +happiness, her long lashes were tightly pressed against her cheeks, as +if to secure her eyes from too strong a light, or to aid an effort of +her soul to recollect and to hold fast a bliss that had been perfect but +fleeting. Her tiny pink and white ear, framed by a lock of her hair and +outlined by a wrapping of Mechlin lace, would have made an artist, a +painter, an old man, wildly in love, and would perhaps have restored a +madman to his senses. + +Is it not an ineffable bliss to behold the woman that you love, +sleeping, smiling in a peaceful dream beneath your protection, loving +you even in dreams, even at the point where the individual seems to +cease to exist, offering to you yet the mute lips that speak to you in +slumber of the latest kiss? Is it not indescribable happiness to see +a trusting woman, half-clad, but wrapped round in her love as by a +cloak--modesty in the midst of dishevelment--to see admiringly her +scattered clothing, the silken stocking hastily put off to please you +last evening, the unclasped girdle that implies a boundless faith in +you. A whole romance lies there in that girdle; the woman that it +used to protect exists no longer; she is yours, she has become _you_; +henceforward any betrayal of her is a blow dealt at yourself. + +In this softened mood Raphael's eyes wandered over the room, now filled +with memories and love, and where the very daylight seemed to take +delightful hues. Then he turned his gaze at last upon the outlines of +the woman's form, upon youth and purity, and love that even now had no +thought that was not for him alone, above all things, and longed to live +for ever. As his eyes fell upon Pauline, her own opened at once as if a +ray of sunlight had lighted on them. + +"Good-morning," she said, smiling. "How handsome you are, bad man!" + +The grace of love and youth, of silence and dawn, shone in their faces, +making a divine picture, with the fleeting spell over it all that +belongs only to the earliest days of passion, just as simplicity and +artlessness are the peculiar possession of childhood. Alas! love's +springtide joys, like our own youthful laughter, must even take flight, +and live for us no longer save in memory; either for our despair, or +to shed some soothing fragrance over us, according to the bent of our +inmost thoughts. + +"What made me wake you?" said Raphael. "It was so great a pleasure to +watch you sleeping that it brought tears to my eyes." + +"And to mine, too," she answered. "I cried in the night while I watched +you sleeping, but not with happiness. Raphael, dear, pray listen to me. +Your breathing is labored while you sleep, and something rattles in +your chest that frightens me. You have a little dry cough when you are +asleep, exactly like my father's, who is dying of phthisis. In those +sounds from your lungs I recognized some of the peculiar symptoms of +that complaint. Then you are feverish; I know you are; your hand was +moist and burning----Darling, you are young," she added with a shudder, +"and you could still get over it if unfortunately----But, no," she cried +cheerfully, "there is no 'unfortunately,' the disease is contagious, so +the doctors say." + +She flung both arms about Raphael, drawing in his breath through one of +those kisses in which the soul reaches its end. + +"I do not wish to live to old age," she said. "Let us both die young, +and go to heaven while flowers fill our hands." + +"We always make such designs as those when we are well and strong," +Raphael replied, burying his hands in Pauline's hair. But even then a +horrible fit of coughing came on, one of those deep ominous coughs +that seem to come from the depths of the tomb, a cough that leaves the +sufferer ghastly pale, trembling, and perspiring; with aching sides and +quivering nerves, with a feeling of weariness pervading the very marrow +of the spine, and unspeakable languor in every vein. Raphael slowly laid +himself down, pale, exhausted, and overcome, like a man who has spent +all the strength in him over one final effort. Pauline's eyes, grown +large with terror, were fixed upon him; she lay quite motionless, pale, +and silent. + +"Let us commit no more follies, my angel," she said, trying not to let +Raphael see the dreadful forebodings that disturbed her. She covered her +face with her hands, for she saw Death before her--the hideous skeleton. +Raphael's face had grown as pale and livid as any skull unearthed from +a churchyard to assist the studies of some scientific man. Pauline +remembered the exclamation that had escaped from Valentin the previous +evening, and to herself she said: + +"Yes, there are gulfs that love can never cross, and therein love must +bury itself." + +On a March morning, some days after this wretched scene, Raphael found +himself seated in an armchair, placed in the window in the full light +of day. Four doctors stood round him, each in turn trying his pulse, +feeling him over, and questioning him with apparent interest. The +invalid sought to guess their thoughts, putting a construction on every +movement they made, and on the slightest contractions of their brows. +His last hope lay in this consultation. This court of appeal was about +to pronounce its decision--life or death. + +Valentin had summoned the oracles of modern medicine, so that he might +have the last word of science. Thanks to his wealth and title, there +stood before him three embodied theories; human knowledge fluctuated +round the three points. Three of the doctors brought among them the +complete circle of medical philosophy; they represented the points of +conflict round which the battle raged, between Spiritualism, Analysis, +and goodness knows what in the way of mocking eclecticism. + +The fourth doctor was Horace Bianchon, a man of science with a future +before him, the most distinguished man of the new school in medicine, a +discreet and unassuming representative of a studious generation that +is preparing to receive the inheritance of fifty years of experience +treasured up by the Ecole de Paris, a generation that perhaps will erect +the monument for the building of which the centuries behind us have +collected the different materials. As a personal friend of the Marquis +and of Rastignac, he had been in attendance on the former for some +days past, and was helping him to answer the inquiries of the three +professors, occasionally insisting somewhat upon those symptoms which, +in his opinion, pointed to pulmonary disease. + +"You have been living at a great pace, leading a dissipated life, no +doubt, and you have devoted yourself largely to intellectual work?" +queried one of the three celebrated authorities, addressing Raphael. He +was a square-headed man, with a large frame and energetic organization, +which seemed to mark him out as superior to his two rivals. + +"I made up my mind to kill myself with debauchery, after spending three +years over an extensive work, with which perhaps you may some day occupy +yourselves," Raphael replied. + +The great doctor shook his head, and so displayed his satisfaction. "I +was sure of it," he seemed to say to himself. He was the illustrious +Brisset, the successor of Cabanis and Bichat, head of the Organic +School, a doctor popular with believers in material and positive +science, who see in man a complete individual, subject solely to the +laws of his own particular organization; and who consider that his +normal condition and abnormal states of disease can both be traced to +obvious causes. + +After this reply, Brisset looked, without speaking, at a middle-sized +person, whose darkly flushed countenance and glowing eyes seemed to +belong to some antique satyr; and who, leaning his back against the +corner of the embrasure, was studying Raphael, without saying a word. +Doctor Cameristus, a man of creeds and enthusiasms, the head of the +"Vitalists," a romantic champion of the esoteric doctrines of Van +Helmont, discerned a lofty informing principle in human life, a +mysterious and inexplicable phenomenon which mocks at the scalpel, +deceives the surgeon, eludes the drugs of the pharmacopoeia, the +formulae of algebra, the demonstrations of anatomy, and derides all +our efforts; a sort of invisible, intangible flame, which, obeying some +divinely appointed law, will often linger on in a body in our opinion +devoted to death, while it takes flight from an organization well fitted +for prolonged existence. + +A bitter smile hovered upon the lips of the third doctor, Maugredie, a +man of acknowledged ability, but a Pyrrhonist and a scoffer, with the +scalpel for his one article of faith. He would consider, as a concession +to Brisset, that a man who, as a matter of fact, was perfectly well was +dead, and recognize with Cameristus that a man might be living on after +his apparent demise. He found something sensible in every theory, and +embraced none of them, claiming that the best of all systems of medicine +was to have none at all, and to stick to facts. This Panurge of the +Clinical Schools, the king of observers, the great investigator, a great +sceptic, the man of desperate expedients, was scrutinizing the Magic +Skin. + +"I should very much like to be a witness of the coincidence of its +retrenchment with your wish," he said to the Marquis. + +"Where is the use?" cried Brisset. + +"Where is the use?" echoed Cameristus. + +"Ah, you are both of the same mind," replied Maugredie. + +"The contraction is perfectly simple," Brisset went on. + +"It is supernatural," remarked Cameristus. + +"In short," Maugredie made answer, with affected solemnity, and handing +the piece of skin to Raphael as he spoke, "the shriveling faculty of the +skin is a fact inexplicable, and yet quite natural, which, ever since +the world began, has been the despair of medicine and of pretty women." + +All Valentin's observation could discover no trace of a feeling for his +troubles in any of the three doctors. The three received every answer +in silence, scanned him unconcernedly, and interrogated him +unsympathetically. Politeness did not conceal their indifference; +whether deliberation or certainty was the cause, their words at any +rate came so seldom and so languidly, that at times Raphael thought +that their attention was wandering. From time to time Brisset, the +sole speaker, remarked, "Good! just so!" as Bianchon pointed out the +existence of each desperate symptom. Cameristus seemed to be deep in +meditation; Maugredie looked like a comic author, studying two queer +characters with a view to reproducing them faithfully upon the stage. +There was deep, unconcealed distress, and grave compassion in Horace +Bianchon's face. He had been a doctor for too short a time to be +untouched by suffering and unmoved by a deathbed; he had not learned to +keep back the sympathetic tears that obscure a man's clear vision +and prevent him from seizing like the general of an army, upon the +auspicious moment for victory, in utter disregard of the groans of dying +men. + +After spending about half an hour over taking in some sort the measure +of the patient and the complaint, much as a tailor measures a young man +for a coat when he orders his wedding outfit, the authorities uttered +several commonplaces, and even talked of politics. Then they decided to +go into Raphael's study to exchange their ideas and frame their verdict. + +"May I not be present during the discussion, gentlemen?" Valentin had +asked them, but Brisset and Maugredie protested against this, and, in +spite of their patient's entreaties, declined altogether to deliberate +in his presence. + +Raphael gave way before their custom, thinking that he could slip into +a passage adjoining, whence he could easily overhear the medical +conference in which the three professors were about to engage. + +"Permit me, gentlemen," said Brisset, as they entered, "to give you my +own opinion at once. I neither wish to force it upon you nor to have it +discussed. In the first place, it is unbiased, concise, and based on +an exact similarity that exists between one of my own patients and the +subject that we have been called in to examine; and, moreover, I am +expected at my hospital. The importance of the case that demands my +presence there will excuse me for speaking the first word. The subject +with which we are concerned has been exhausted in an equal degree by +intellectual labors--what did he set about, Horace?" he asked of the +young doctor. + +"A 'Theory of the Will,'" + +"The devil! but that's a big subject. He is exhausted, I say, by too +much brain-work, by irregular courses, and by the repeated use of too +powerful stimulants. Violent exertion of body and mind has demoralized +the whole system. It is easy, gentlemen, to recognize in the symptoms +of the face and body generally intense irritation of the stomach, an +affection of the great sympathetic nerve, acute sensibility of the +epigastric region, and contraction of the right and left hypochondriac. +You have noticed, too, the large size and prominence of the liver. M. +Bianchon has, besides, constantly watched the patient, and he tells us +that digestion is troublesome and difficult. Strictly speaking, there is +no stomach left, and so the man has disappeared. The brain is atrophied +because the man digests no longer. The progressive deterioration wrought +in the epigastric region, the seat of vitality, has vitiated the whole +system. Thence, by continuous fevered vibrations, the disorder has +reached the brain by means of the nervous plexus, hence the excessive +irritation in that organ. There is monomania. The patient is burdened +with a fixed idea. That piece of skin really contracts, to his way of +thinking; very likely it always has been as we have seen it; but whether +it contracts or no, that thing is for him just like the fly that some +Grand Vizier or other had on his nose. If you put leeches at once on the +epigastrium, and reduce the irritation in that part, which is the very +seat of man's life, and if you diet the patient, the monomania will +leave him. I will say no more to Dr. Bianchon; he should be able to +grasp the whole treatment as well as the details. There may be, perhaps, +some complication of the disease--the bronchial tubes, possibly, may be +also inflamed; but I believe that treatment for the intestinal organs is +very much more important and necessary, and more urgently required than +for the lungs. Persistent study of abstract matters, and certain violent +passions, have induced serious disorders in that vital mechanism. +However, we are in time to set these conditions right. Nothing is too +seriously affected. You will easily get your friend round again," he +remarked to Bianchon. + +"Our learned colleague is taking the effect for the cause," Cameristus +replied. "Yes, the changes that he has observed so keenly certainly +exist in the patient; but it is not the stomach that, by degrees, has +set up nervous action in the system, and so affected the brain, like a +hole in a window pane spreading cracks round about it. It took a blow +of some kind to make a hole in the window; who gave the blow? Do we +know that? Have we investigated the patient's case sufficiently? Are we +acquainted with all the events of his life? + +"The vital principle, gentlemen," he continued, "the Archeus of Van +Helmont, is affected in his case--the very essence and centre of life is +attacked. The divine spark, the transitory intelligence which holds the +organism together, which is the source of the will, the inspiration of +life, has ceased to regulate the daily phenomena of the mechanism and +the functions of every organ; thence arise all the complications which +my learned colleague has so thoroughly appreciated. The epigastric +region does not affect the brain but the brain affects the epigastric +region. No," he went on, vigorously slapping his chest, "no, I am not +a stomach in the form of a man. No, everything does not lie there. I do +not feel that I have the courage to say that if the epigastric region is +in good order, everything else is in a like condition---- + +"We cannot trace," he went on more mildly, "to one physical cause the +serious disturbances that supervene in this or that subject which has +been dangerously attacked, nor submit them to a uniform treatment. +No one man is like another. We have each peculiar organs, differently +affected, diversely nourished, adapted to perform different functions, +and to induce a condition necessary to the accomplishment of an order +of things which is unknown to us. The sublime will has so wrought that +a little portion of the great All is set within us to sustain the +phenomena of living; in every man it formulates itself distinctly, +making each, to all appearance, a separate individual, yet in one point +co-existent with the infinite cause. So we ought to make a separate +study of each subject, discover all about it, find out in what its life +consists, and wherein its power lies. From the softness of a wet sponge +to the hardness of pumice-stone there are infinite fine degrees of +difference. Man is just like that. Between the sponge-like organizations +of the lymphatic and the vigorous iron muscles of such men as are +destined for a long life, what a margin for errors for the single +inflexible system of a lowering treatment to commit; a system that +reduces the capacities of the human frame, which you always conclude +have been over-excited. Let us look for the origin of the disease in the +mental and not in the physical viscera. A doctor is an inspired being, +endowed by God with a special gift--the power to read the secrets of +vitality; just as the prophet has received the eyes that foresee the +future, the poet his faculty of evoking nature, and the musician the +power of arranging sounds in an harmonious order that is possibly a copy +of an ideal harmony on high." + +"There is his everlasting system of medicine, arbitrary, monarchical, +and pious," muttered Brisset. + +"Gentlemen," Maugredie broke in hastily, to distract attention from +Brisset's comment, "don't let us lose sight of the patient." + +"What is the good of science?" Raphael moaned. "Here is my recovery +halting between a string of beads and a rosary of leeches, between +Dupuytren's bistoury and Prince Hohenlohe's prayer. There is Maugredie +suspending his judgment on the line that divides facts from words, mind +from matter. Man's 'it is,' and 'it is not,' is always on my track; +it is the _Carymary Carymara_ of Rabelais for evermore: my disorder is +spiritual, _Carymary_, or material, _Carymara_. Shall I live? They have +no idea. Planchette was more straightforward with me, at any rate, when +he said, 'I do not know.'" + +Just then Valentin heard Maugredie's voice. + +"The patient suffers from monomania; very good, I am quite of that +opinion," he said, "but he has two hundred thousand a year; monomaniacs +of that kind are very uncommon. As for knowing whether his epigastric +region has affected his brain, or his brain his epigastric region, we +shall find that out, perhaps, whenever he dies. But to resume. There +is no disputing the fact that he is ill; some sort of treatment he must +have. Let us leave theories alone, and put leeches on him, to counteract +the nervous and intestinal irritation, as to the existence of which we +all agree; and let us send him to drink the waters, in that way we shall +act on both systems at once. If there really is tubercular disease, we +can hardly expect to save his life; so that----" + +Raphael abruptly left the passage, and went back to his armchair. The +four doctors very soon came out of the study; Horace was the spokesman. + +"These gentlemen," he told him, "have unanimously agreed that leeches +must be applied to the stomach at once, and that both physical and +moral treatment are imperatively needed. In the first place, a carefully +prescribed rule of diet, so as to soothe the internal irritation"--here +Brisset signified his approval; "and in the second, a hygienic regimen, +to set your general condition right. We all, therefore, recommend you +to go to take the waters in Aix in Savoy; or, if you like it better, at +Mont Dore in Auvergne; the air and the situation are both pleasanter in +Savoy than in the Cantal, but you will consult your own taste." + +Here it was Cameristus who nodded assent. + +"These gentlemen," Bianchon continued, "having recognized a slight +affection of the respiratory organs, are agreed as to the utility of +the previous course of treatment that I have prescribed. They think +that there will be no difficulty about restoring you to health, and that +everything depends upon a wise and alternate employment of these various +means. And----" + +"And that is the cause of the milk in the cocoanut," said Raphael, +with a smile, as he led Horace into his study to pay the fees for this +useless consultation. + +"Their conclusions are logical," the young doctor replied. "Cameristus +feels, Brisset examines, Maugredie doubts. Has not man a soul, a body, +and an intelligence? One of these three elemental constituents always +influences us more or less strongly; there will always be the personal +element in human science. Believe me, Raphael, we effect no cures; we +only assist them. Another system--the use of mild remedies while Nature +exerts her powers--lies between the extremes of theory of Brisset and +Cameristus, but one ought to have known the patient for some ten years +or so to obtain a good result on these lines. Negation lies at the +back of all medicine, as in every other science. So endeavor to live +wholesomely; try a trip to Savoy; the best course is, and always will +be, to trust to Nature." + +It was a month later, on a fine summer-like evening, that several +people, who were taking the waters at Aix, returned from the promenade +and met together in the salons of the Club. Raphael remained alone by a +window for a long time. His back was turned upon the gathering, and he +himself was deep in those involuntary musings in which thoughts arise in +succession and fade away, shaping themselves indistinctly, passing over +us like thin, almost colorless clouds. Melancholy is sweet to us then, +and delight is shadowy, for the soul is half asleep. Valentin gave +himself up to this life of sensations; he was steeping himself in the +warm, soft twilight, enjoying the pure air with the scent of the +hills in it, happy in that he felt no pain, and had tranquilized his +threatening Magic Skin at last. It grew cooler as the red glow of the +sunset faded on the mountain peaks; he shut the window and left his +place. + +"Will you be so kind as not to close the windows, sir?" said an old +lady; "we are being stifled----" + +The peculiarly sharp and jarring tones in which the phrase was uttered +grated on Raphael's ears; it fell on them like an indiscreet remark let +slip by some man in whose friendship we would fain believe, a word which +reveals unsuspected depths of selfishness and destroys some pleasing +sentimental illusion of ours. The Marquis glanced, with the cool +inscrutable expression of a diplomatist, at the old lady, called a +servant, and, when he came, curtly bade him: + +"Open that window." + +Great surprise was clearly expressed on all faces at the words. The +whole roomful began to whisper to each other, and turned their eyes upon +the invalid, as though he had given some serious offence. Raphael, who +had never quite managed to rid himself of the bashfulness of his early +youth, felt a momentary confusion; then he shook off his torpor, exerted +his faculties, and asked himself the meaning of this strange scene. + +A sudden and rapid impulse quickened his brain; the past weeks appeared +before him in a clear and definite vision; the reasons for the feelings +he inspired in others stood out for him in relief, like the veins of +some corpse which a naturalist, by some cunningly contrived injection, +has colored so as to show their least ramifications. + +He discerned himself in this fleeting picture; he followed out his +own life in it, thought by thought, day after day. He saw himself, not +without astonishment, an absent gloomy figure in the midst of these +lively folk, always musing over his own fate, always absorbed by his own +sufferings, seemingly impatient of the most harmless chat. He saw how +he had shunned the ephemeral intimacies that travelers are so ready to +establish--no doubt because they feel sure of never meeting each other +again--and how he had taken little heed of those about him. He saw +himself like the rocks without, unmoved by the caresses or the stormy +surgings of the waves. + +Then, by a gift of insight seldom accorded, he read the thoughts of all +those about him. The light of a candle revealed the sardonic profile +and yellow cranium of an old man; he remembered now that he had won from +him, and had never proposed that the other should have his revenge; a +little further on he saw a pretty woman, whose lively advances he +had met with frigid coolness; there was not a face there that did not +reproach him with some wrong done, inexplicably to all appearance, but +the real offence in every case lay in some mortification, some invisible +hurt dealt to self-love. He had unintentionally jarred on all the small +susceptibilities of the circle round about him. + +His guests on various occasions, and those to whom he had lent his +horses, had taken offence at his luxurious ways; their ungraciousness +had been a surprise to him; he had spared them further humiliations of +that kind, and they had considered that he looked down upon them, and +had accused him of haughtiness ever since. He could read their inmost +thoughts as he fathomed their natures in this way. Society with its +polish and varnish grew loathsome to him. He was envied and hated for +his wealth and superior ability; his reserve baffled the inquisitive; +his humility seemed like haughtiness to these petty superficial natures. +He guessed the secret unpardonable crime which he had committed against +them; he had overstepped the limits of the jurisdiction of their +mediocrity. He had resisted their inquisitorial tyranny; he could +dispense with their society; and all of them, therefore, had +instinctively combined to make him feel their power, and to take revenge +upon this incipient royalty by submitting him to a kind of ostracism, +and so teaching him that they in their turn could do without him. + +Pity came over him, first of all, at this aspect of mankind, but very +soon he shuddered at the thought of the power that came thus, at will, +and flung aside for him the veil of flesh under which the moral nature +is hidden away. He closed his eyes, so as to see no more. A black +curtain was drawn all at once over this unlucky phantom show of truth; +but still he found himself in the terrible loneliness that surrounds +every power and dominion. Just then a violent fit of coughing seized +him. Far from receiving one single word--indifferent, and meaningless, +it is true, but still containing, among well-bred people brought +together by chance, at least some pretence of civil commiseration--he +now heard hostile ejaculations and muttered complaints. Society there +assembled disdained any pantomime on his account, perhaps because he had +gauged its real nature too well. + +"His complaint is contagious." + +"The president of the Club ought to forbid him to enter the salon." + +"It is contrary to all rules and regulations to cough in that way!" + +"When a man is as ill as that, he ought not to come to take the +waters----" + +"He will drive me away from the place." + +Raphael rose and walked about the rooms to screen himself from their +unanimous execrations. He thought to find a shelter, and went up to a +young pretty lady who sat doing nothing, minded to address some pretty +speeches to her; but as he came towards her, she turned her back upon +him, and pretended to be watching the dancers. Raphael feared lest he +might have made use of the talisman already that evening; and feeling +that he had neither the wish nor the courage to break into the +conversation, he left the salon and took refuge in the billiard-room. +No one there greeted him, nobody spoke to him, no one sent so much as +a friendly glance in his direction. His turn of mind, naturally +meditative, had discovered instinctively the general grounds and +reasons for the aversion he inspired. This little world was obeying, +unconsciously perhaps, the sovereign law which rules over polite +society; its inexorable nature was becoming apparent in its entirety +to Raphael's eyes. A glance into the past showed it to him, as a type +completely realized in Foedora. + +He would no more meet with sympathy here for his bodily ills than he had +received it at her hands for the distress in his heart. The fashionable +world expels every suffering creature from its midst, just as the body +of a man in robust health rejects any germ of disease. The world holds +suffering and misfortune in abhorrence; it dreads them like the plague; +it never hesitates between vice and trouble, for vice is a luxury. +Ill-fortune may possess a majesty of its own, but society can belittle +it and make it ridiculous by an epigram. Society draws caricatures, and +in this way flings in the teeth of fallen kings the affronts which it +fancies it has received from them; society, like the Roman youth at the +circus, never shows mercy to the fallen gladiator; mockery and money are +its vital necessities. "Death to the weak!" That is the oath taken by +this kind of Equestrian order, instituted in their midst by all the +nations of the world; everywhere it makes for the elevation of the +rich, and its motto is deeply graven in hearts that wealth has turned to +stone, or that have been reared in aristocratic prejudices. + +Assemble a collection of school-boys together. That will give you a +society in miniature, a miniature which represents life more truly, +because it is so frank and artless; and in it you will always find poor +isolated beings, relegated to some place in the general estimations +between pity and contempt, on account of their weakness and suffering. +To these the Evangel promises heaven hereafter. Go lower yet in the +scale of organized creation. If some bird among its fellows in the +courtyard sickens, the others fall upon it with their beaks, pluck +out its feathers, and kill it. The whole world, in accordance with its +character of egotism, brings all its severity to bear upon wretchedness +that has the hardihood to spoil its festivities, and to trouble its +joys. + +Any sufferer in mind or body, any helpless or poor man, is a pariah. He +had better remain in his solitude; if he crosses the boundary-line, he +will find winter everywhere; he will find freezing cold in other men's +looks, manners, words, and hearts; and lucky indeed is he if he does not +receive an insult where he expected that sympathy would be expended upon +him. Let the dying keep to their bed of neglect, and age sit lonely +by its fireside. Portionless maids, freeze and burn in your solitary +attics. If the world tolerates misery of any kind, it is to turn it to +account for its own purposes, to make some use of it, saddle and bridle +it, put a bit in its mouth, ride it about, and get some fun out of it. + +Crotchety spinsters, ladies' companions, put a cheerful face upon it, +endure the humors of your so-called benefactress, carry her lapdogs for +her; you have an English poodle for your rival, and you must seek to +understand the moods of your patroness, and amuse her, and--keep silence +about yourselves. As for you, unblushing parasite, uncrowned king +of unliveried servants, leave your real character at home, let your +digestion keep pace with your host's laugh when he laughs, mingle your +tears with his, and find his epigrams amusing; if you want to relieve +your mind about him, wait till he is ruined. That is the way the world +shows its respect for the unfortunate; it persecutes them, or slays them +in the dust. + +Such thoughts as these welled up in Raphael's heart with the suddenness +of poetic inspiration. He looked around him, and felt the influence of +the forbidding gloom that society breathes out in order to rid itself of +the unfortunate; it nipped his soul more effectually than the east wind +grips the body in December. He locked his arms over his chest, set his +back against the wall, and fell into a deep melancholy. He mused upon +the meagre happiness that this depressing way of living can give. What +did it amount to? Amusement with no pleasure in it, gaiety without +gladness, joyless festivity, fevered dreams empty of all delight, +firewood or ashes on the hearth without a spark of flame in them. When +he raised his head, he found himself alone, all the billiard players had +gone. + +"I have only to let them know my power to make them worship my coughing +fits," he said to himself, and wrapped himself against the world in the +cloak of his contempt. + +Next day the resident doctor came to call upon him, and took an anxious +interest in his health. Raphael felt a thrill of joy at the friendly +words addressed to him. The doctor's face, to his thinking, wore an +expression that was kind and pleasant; the pale curls of his wig seemed +redolent of philanthropy; the square cut of his coat, the loose folds +of his trousers, his big Quaker-like shoes, everything about him down +to the powder shaken from his queue and dusted in a circle upon his +slightly stooping shoulders, revealed an apostolic nature, and spoke of +Christian charity and of the self-sacrifice of a man, who, out of sheer +devotion to his patients, had compelled himself to learn to play whist +and tric-trac so well that he never lost money to any of them. + +"My Lord Marquis," said he, after a long talk with Raphael, "I can +dispel your uneasiness beyond all doubt. I know your constitution well +enough by this time to assure you that the doctors in Paris, whose great +abilities I know, are mistaken as to the nature of your complaint. +You can live as long as Methuselah, my Lord Marquis, accidents only +excepted. Your lungs are as sound as a blacksmith's bellows, your +stomach would put an ostrich to the blush; but if you persist in living +at high altitude, you are running the risk of a prompt interment in +consecrated soil. A few words, my Lord Marquis, will make my meaning +clear to you. + +"Chemistry," he began, "has shown us that man's breathing is a real +process of combustion, and the intensity of its action varies according +to the abundance or scarcity of the phlogistic element stored up by +the organism of each individual. In your case, the phlogistic, or +inflammatory element is abundant; if you will permit me to put it so, +you generate superfluous oxygen, possessing as you do the inflammatory +temperament of a man destined to experience strong emotions. While +you breath the keen, pure air that stimulates life in men of lymphatic +constitution, you are accelerating an expenditure of vitality already +too rapid. One of the conditions for existence for you is the heavier +atmosphere of the plains and valleys. Yes, the vital air for a man +consumed by his genius lies in the fertile pasture-lands of Germany, at +Toplitz or Baden-Baden. If England is not obnoxious to you, its misty +climate would reduce your fever; but the situation of our baths, a +thousand feet above the level of the Mediterranean, is dangerous for +you. That is my opinion at least," he said, with a deprecatory gesture, +"and I give it in opposition to our interests, for, if you act upon it, +we shall unfortunately lose you." + +But for these closing words of his, the affable doctor's seeming +good-nature would have completely won Raphael over; but he was too +profoundly observant not to understand the meaning of the tone, the +look and gesture that accompanied that mild sarcasm, not to see that +the little man had been sent on this errand, no doubt, by a flock of his +rejoicing patients. The florid-looking idlers, tedious old women, nomad +English people, and fine ladies who had given their husbands the slip, +and were escorted hither by their lovers--one and all were in a plot to +drive away a wretched, feeble creature to die, who seemed unable to hold +out against a daily renewed persecution! Raphael accepted the challenge, +he foresaw some amusement to be derived from their manoeuvres. + +"As you would be grieved at losing me," said he to the doctor, "I will +endeavor to avail myself of your good advice without leaving the place. +I will set about having a house built to-morrow, and the atmosphere +within it shall be regulated by your instructions." + +The doctor understood the sarcastic smile that lurked about Raphael's +mouth, and took his leave without finding another word to say. + +The Lake of Bourget lies seven hundred feet above the Mediterranean, in +a great hollow among the jagged peaks of the hills; it sparkles there, +the bluest drop of water in the world. From the summit of the Cat's +Tooth the lake below looks like a stray turquoise. This lovely sheet of +water is about twenty-seven miles round, and in some places is nearly +five hundred feet deep. + +Under the cloudless sky, in your boat in the midst of the great expanse +of water, with only the sound of the oars in your ears, only the +vague outline of the hills on the horizon before you; you admire the +glittering snows of the French Maurienne; you pass, now by masses of +granite clad in the velvet of green turf or in low-growing shrubs, now +by pleasant sloping meadows; there is always a wilderness on the one +hand and fertile lands on the other, and both harmonies and dissonances +compose a scene for you where everything is at once small and vast, +and you feel yourself to be a poor onlooker at a great banquet. +The configuration of the mountains brings about misleading optical +conditions and illusions of perspective; a pine-tree a hundred feet in +height looks to be a mere weed; wide valleys look as narrow as meadow +paths. The lake is the only one where the confidences of heart and heart +can be exchanged. There one can live; there one can meditate. Nowhere on +earth will you find a closer understanding between the water, the +sky, the mountains, and the fields. There is a balm there for all the +agitations of life. The place keeps the secrets of sorrow to itself, the +sorrow that grows less beneath its soothing influence; and to love, it +gives a grave and meditative cast, deepening passion and purifying it. +A kiss there becomes something great. But beyond all other things it is +the lake for memories; it aids them by lending to them the hues of its +own waves; it is a mirror in which everything is reflected. Only here, +with this lovely landscape all around him, could Raphael endure the +burden laid upon him; here he could remain as a languid dreamer, without +a wish of his own. + +He went out upon the lake after the doctor's visit, and was landed at a +lonely point on the pleasant slope where the village of Saint-Innocent +is situated. The view from this promontory, as one may call it, +comprises the heights of Bugey with the Rhone flowing at their foot, +and the end of the lake; but Raphael liked to look at the opposite +shore from thence, at the melancholy looking Abbey of Haute-Combe, the +burying-place of the Sardinian kings, who lie prostrate there before the +hills, like pilgrims come at last to their journey's end. The silence of +the landscape was broken by the even rhythm of the strokes of the oar; +it seemed to find a voice for the place, in monotonous cadences like the +chanting of monks. The Marquis was surprised to find visitors to this +usually lonely part of the lake; and as he mused, he watched the people +seated in the boat, and recognized in the stern the elderly lady who had +spoken so harshly to him the evening before. + +No one took any notice of Raphael as the boat passed, except the elderly +lady's companion, a poor old maid of noble family, who bowed to him, +and whom it seemed to him that he saw for the first time. A few seconds +later he had already forgotten the visitors, who had rapidly disappeared +behind the promontory, when he heard the fluttering of a dress and the +sound of light footsteps not far from him. He turned about and saw the +companion; and, guessing from her embarrassed manner that she wished to +speak with him, he walked towards her. + +She was somewhere about thirty-six years of age, thin and tall, reserved +and prim, and, like all old maids, seemed puzzled to know which way to +look, an expression no longer in keeping with her measured, springless, +and hesitating steps. She was both young and old at the same time, and, +by a certain dignity in her carriage, showed the high value which she +set upon her charms and perfections. In addition, her movements were +all demure and discreet, like those of women who are accustomed to take +great care of themselves, no doubt because they desire not to be cheated +of love, their destined end. + +"Your life is in danger, sir; do not come to the Club again!" she said, +stepping back a pace or two from Raphael, as if her reputation had +already been compromised. + +"But, mademoiselle," said Raphael, smiling, "please explain yourself +more clearly, since you have condescended so far----" + +"Ah," she answered, "unless I had had a very strong motive, I should +never have run the risk of offending the countess, for if she ever came +to know that I had warned you----" + +"And who would tell her, mademoiselle?" cried Raphael. + +"True," the old maid answered. She looked at him, quaking like an owl +out in the sunlight. "But think of yourself," she went on; "several +young men, who want to drive you away from the baths, have agreed to +pick a quarrel with you, and to force you into a duel." + +The elderly lady's voice sounded in the distance. + +"Mademoiselle," began the Marquis, "my gratitude----" But his +protectress had fled already; she had heard the voice of her mistress +squeaking afresh among the rocks. + +"Poor girl! unhappiness always understands and helps the unhappy," +Raphael thought, and sat himself down at the foot of a tree. + +The key of every science is, beyond cavil, the mark of interrogation; we +owe most of our greatest discoveries to a _Why_? and all the wisdom in +the world, perhaps, consists in asking _Wherefore_? in every connection. +But, on the other hand, this acquired prescience is the ruin of our +illusions. + +So Valentin, having taken the old maid's kindly action for the text of +his wandering thoughts, without the deliberate promptings of philosophy, +must find it full of gall and wormwood. + +"It is not at all extraordinary that a gentlewoman's gentlewoman should +take a fancy to me," said he to himself. "I am twenty-seven years old, +and I have a title and an income of two hundred thousand a year. But +that her mistress, who hates water like a rabid cat--for it would be +hard to give the palm to either in that matter--that her mistress should +have brought her here in a boat! Is not that very strange and wonderful? +Those two women came into Savoy to sleep like marmots; they ask if day +has dawned at noon; and to think that they could get up this morning +before eight o'clock, to take their chances in running after me!" + +Very soon the old maid and her elderly innocence became, in his eyes, a +fresh manifestation of that artificial, malicious little world. It was a +paltry device, a clumsy artifice, a piece of priest's or woman's craft. +Was the duel a myth, or did they merely want to frighten him? But +these petty creatures, impudent and teasing as flies, had succeeded in +wounding his vanity, in rousing his pride, and exciting his curiosity. +Unwilling to become their dupe, or to be taken for a coward, and even +diverted perhaps by the little drama, he went to the Club that very +evening. + +He stood leaning against the marble chimney-piece, and stayed there +quietly in the middle of the principal saloon, doing his best to give no +one any advantage over him; but he scrutinized the faces about him, and +gave a certain vague offence to those assembled, by his inspection. Like +a dog aware of his strength, he awaited the contest on his own ground, +without necessary barking. Towards the end of the evening he strolled +into the cardroom, walking between the door and another that opened into +the billiard-room, throwing a glance from time to time over a group of +young men that had gathered there. He heard his name mentioned after a +turn or two. Although they lowered their voices, Raphael easily guessed +that he had become the topic of their debate, and he ended by catching a +phrase or two spoken aloud. + +"You?" + +"Yes, I." + +"I dare you to do it!" + +"Let us make a bet on it!" + +"Oh, he will do it." + +Just as Valentin, curious to learn the matter of the wager, came up +to pay closer attention to what they were saying, a tall, strong, +good-looking young fellow, who, however, possessed the impertinent stare +peculiar to people who have material force at their back, came out of +the billiard-room. + +"I am deputed, sir," he said coolly addressing the Marquis, "to make you +aware of something which you do not seem to know; your face and person +generally are a source of annoyance to every one here, and to me in +particular. You have too much politeness not to sacrifice yourself to +the public good, and I beg that you will not show yourself in the Club +again." + +"This sort of joke has been perpetrated before, sir, in garrison towns +at the time of the Empire; but nowadays it is exceedingly bad form," +said Raphael drily. + +"I am not joking," the young man answered; "and I repeat it: your health +will be considerably the worse for a stay here; the heat and light, the +air of the saloon, and the company are all bad for your complaint." + +"Where did you study medicine?" Raphael inquired. + +"I took my bachelor's degree on Lepage's shooting-ground in Paris, and +was made a doctor at Cerizier's, the king of foils." + +"There is one last degree left for you to take," said Valentin; "study +the ordinary rules of politeness, and you will be a perfect gentlemen." + +The young men all came out of the billiard-room just then, some disposed +to laugh, some silent. The attention of other players was drawn to the +matter; they left their cards to watch a quarrel that rejoiced their +instincts. Raphael, alone among this hostile crowd, did his best to keep +cool, and not to put himself in any way in the wrong; but his adversary +having ventured a sarcasm containing an insult couched in unusually keen +language, he replied gravely: + +"We cannot box men's ears, sir, in these days, but I am at a loss for +any word by which to stigmatize such cowardly behavior as yours." + +"That's enough, that's enough. You can come to an explanation +to-morrow," several young men exclaimed, interposing between the two +champions. + +Raphael left the room in the character of aggressor, after he had +accepted a proposal to meet near the Chateau de Bordeau, in a little +sloping meadow, not very far from the newly made road, by which the man +who came off victorious could reach Lyons. Raphael must now either take +to his bed or leave the baths. The visitors had gained their point. At +eight o'clock next morning his antagonist, followed by two seconds and a +surgeon, arrived first on the ground. + +"We shall do very nicely here; glorious weather for a duel!" he cried +gaily, looking at the blue vault of sky above, at the waters of the +lake, and the rocks, without a single melancholy presentiment or doubt +of the issue. "If I wing him," he went on, "I shall send him to bed for +a month; eh, doctor?" + +"At the very least," the surgeon replied; "but let that willow twig +alone, or you will weary your wrist, and then you will not fire +steadily. You might kill your man instead of wounding him." + +The noise of a carriage was heard approaching. + +"Here he is," said the seconds, who soon descried a caleche coming along +the road; it was drawn by four horses, and there were two postilions. + +"What a queer proceeding!" said Valentin's antagonist; "here he comes +post-haste to be shot." + +The slightest incident about a duel, as about a stake at cards, makes an +impression on the minds of those deeply concerned in the results of the +affair; so the young man awaited the arrival of the carriage with a +kind of uneasiness. It stopped in the road; old Jonathan laboriously +descended from it, in the first place, to assist Raphael to alight; +he supported him with his feeble arms, and showed him all the minute +attentions that a lover lavishes upon his mistress. Both became lost to +sight in the footpath that lay between the highroad and the field where +the duel was to take place; they were walking slowly, and did not appear +again for some time after. The four onlookers at this strange spectacle +felt deeply moved by the sight of Valentin as he leaned on his servant's +arm; he was wasted and pale; he limped as if he had the gout, went with +his head bowed down, and said not a word. You might have taken them +for a couple of old men, one broken with years, the other worn out with +thought; the elder bore his age visibly written in his white hair, the +younger was of no age. + +"I have not slept all night, sir;" so Raphael greeted his antagonist. + +The icy tone and terrible glance that went with the words made the real +aggressor shudder; he know that he was in the wrong, and felt in secret +ashamed of his behavior. There was something strange in Raphael's +bearing, tone, and gesture; the Marquis stopped, and every one else was +likewise silent. The uneasy and constrained feeling grew to a height. + +"There is yet time," he went on, "to offer me some slight apology; +and offer it you must, or you will die sir! You rely even now on your +dexterity, and do not shrink from an encounter in which you believe all +the advantage to be upon your side. Very good, sir; I am generous, I am +letting you know my superiority beforehand. I possess a terrible power. +I have only to wish to do so, and I can neutralize your skill, dim your +eyesight, make your hand and pulse unsteady, and even kill you outright. +I have no wish to be compelled to exercise my power; the use of it costs +me too dear. You would not be the only one to die. So if you refuse to +apologize to me, not matter what your experience in murder, your ball +will go into the waterfall there, and mine will speed straight to your +heart though I do not aim it at you." + +Confused voices interrupted Raphael at this point. All the time that he +was speaking, the Marquis had kept his intolerably keen gaze fixed upon +his antagonist; now he drew himself up and showed an impassive face, +like that of a dangerous madman. + +"Make him hold his tongue," the young man had said to one of his +seconds; "that voice of his is tearing the heart out of me." + +"Say no more, sir; it is quite useless," cried the seconds and the +surgeon, addressing Raphael. + +"Gentlemen, I am fulfilling a duty. Has this young gentleman any final +arrangements to make?" + +"That is enough; that will do." + +The Marquis remained standing steadily, never for a moment losing sight +of his antagonist; and the latter seemed, like a bird before a snake, to +be overwhelmed by a well-nigh magical power. He was compelled to endure +that homicidal gaze; he met and shunned it incessantly. + +"I am thirsty; give me some water----" he said again to the second. + +"Are you nervous?" + +"Yes," he answered. "There is a fascination about that man's glowing +eyes." + +"Will you apologize?" + +"It is too late now." + +The two antagonists were placed at fifteen paces' distance from each +other. Each of them had a brace of pistols at hand, and, according to +the programme prescribed for them, each was to fire twice when and how +he pleased, but after the signal had been given by the seconds. + +"What are you doing, Charles?" exclaimed the young man who acted as +second to Raphael's antagonist; "you are putting in the ball before the +powder!" + +"I am a dead man," he muttered, by way of answer; "you have put me +facing the sun----" + +"The sun lies behind you," said Valentin sternly and solemnly, while he +coolly loaded his pistol without heeding the fact that the signal had +been given, or that his antagonist was carefully taking aim. + +There was something so appalling in this supernatural unconcern, that it +affected even the two postilions, brought thither by a cruel curiosity. +Raphael was either trying his power or playing with it, for he talked +to Jonathan, and looked towards him as he received his adversary's +fire. Charles' bullet broke a branch of willow, and ricocheted over the +surface of the water; Raphael fired at random, and shot his antagonist +through the heart. He did not heed the young man as he dropped; he +hurriedly sought the Magic Skin to see what another man's life had cost +him. The talisman was no larger than a small oak-leaf. + +"What are you gaping at, you postilions over there? Let us be off," said +the Marquis. + +That same evening he crossed the French border, immediately set out for +Auvergne, and reached the springs of Mont Dore. As he traveled, there +surged up in his heart, all at once, one of those thoughts that come +to us as a ray of sunlight pierces through the thick mists in some dark +valley--a sad enlightenment, a pitiless sagacity that lights up the +accomplished fact for us, that lays our errors bare, and leaves +us without excuse in our own eyes. It suddenly struck him that the +possession of power, no matter how enormous, did not bring with it the +knowledge how to use it. The sceptre is a plaything for a child, an axe +for a Richelieu, and for a Napoleon a lever by which to move the world. +Power leaves us just as it finds us; only great natures grow greater +by its means. Raphael had had everything in his power, and he had done +nothing. + +At the springs of Mont Dore he came again in contact with a little world +of people, who invariably shunned him with the eager haste that animals +display when they scent afar off one of their own species lying dead, +and flee away. The dislike was mutual. His late adventure had given him +a deep distaste for society; his first care, consequently, was to find +a lodging at some distance from the neighborhood of the springs. +Instinctively he felt within him the need of close contact with nature, +of natural emotions, and of the vegetative life into which we sink so +gladly among the fields. + +The day after he arrived he climbed the Pic de Sancy, not without +difficulty, and visited the higher valleys, the skyey nooks, +undiscovered lakes, and peasants' huts about Mont Dore, a country whose +stern and wild features are now beginning to tempt the brushes of our +artists, for sometimes wonderfully fresh and charming views are to be +found there, affording a strong contrast to the frowning brows of those +lonely hills. + +Barely a league from the village Raphael discovered a nook where nature +seemed to have taken a pleasure in hiding away all her treasures like +some glad and mischievous child. At the first sight of this unspoiled +and picturesque retreat, he determined to take up his abode in it. +There, life must needs be peaceful, natural, and fruitful, like the life +of a plant. + +Imagine for yourself an inverted cone of granite hollowed out on a large +scale, a sort of basin with its sides divided up by queer winding paths. +On one side lay level stretches with no growth upon them, a bluish +uniform surface, over which the rays of the sun fell as upon a mirror; +on the other lay cliffs split open by fissures and frowning ravines; +great blocks of lava hung suspended from them, while the action of rain +slowly prepared their impending fall; a few stunted trees tormented +by the wind, often crowned their summits; and here and there in some +sheltered angle of their ramparts a clump of chestnut-trees grew tall as +cedars, or some cavern in the yellowish rocks showed the dark entrance +into its depths, set about by flowers and brambles, decked by a little +strip of green turf. + +At the bottom of this cup, which perhaps had been the crater of an +old-world volcano, lay a pool of water as pure and bright as a diamond. +Granite boulders lay around the deep basin, and willows, mountain-ash +trees, yellow-flag lilies, and numberless aromatic plants bloomed about +it, in a realm of meadow as fresh as an English bowling-green. The fine +soft grass was watered by the streams that trickled through the fissures +in the cliffs; the soil was continually enriched by the deposits of loam +which storms washed down from the heights above. The pool might be +some three acres in extent; its shape was irregular, and the edges were +scalloped like the hem of a dress; the meadow might be an acre or two +acres in extent. The cliffs and the water approached and receded from +each other; here and there, there was scarcely width enough for the cows +to pass between them. + +After a certain height the plant life ceased. Aloft in air the granite +took upon itself the most fantastic shapes, and assumed those misty +tints that give to high mountains a dim resemblance to clouds in the +sky. The bare, bleak cliffs, with the fearful rents in their sides, +pictures of wild and barren desolation, contrasted strongly with the +pretty view of the valley; and so strange were the shapes they assumed, +that one of the cliffs had been called "The Capuchin," because it was so +like a monk. Sometimes these sharp-pointed peaks, these mighty masses +of rock, and airy caverns were lighted up one by one, according to the +direction of the sun or the caprices of the atmosphere; they caught +gleams of gold, dyed themselves in purple; took a tint of glowing +rose-color, or turned dull and gray. Upon the heights a drama of color +was always to be seen, a play of ever-shifting iridescent hues like +those on a pigeon's breast. + +Oftentimes at sunrise or at sunset a ray of bright sunlight would +penetrate between two sheer surfaces of lava, that might have been split +apart by a hatchet, to the very depths of that pleasant little garden, +where it would play in the waters of the pool, like a beam of golden +light which gleams through the chinks of a shutter into a room in Spain, +that has been carefully darkened for a siesta. When the sun rose above +the old crater that some antediluvian revolution had filled with water, +its rocky sides took warmer tones, the extinct volcano glowed again, and +its sudden heat quickened the sprouting seeds and vegetation, gave color +to the flowers, and ripened the fruits of this forgotten corner of the +earth. + +As Raphael reached it, he noticed several cows grazing in the +pasture-land; and when he had taken a few steps towards the water, he +saw a little house built of granite and roofed with shingle in the spot +where the meadowland was at its widest. The roof of this little cottage +harmonized with everything about it; for it had long been overgrown with +ivy, moss, and flowers of no recent date. A thin smoke, that did not +scare the birds away, went up from the dilapidated chimney. There was a +great bench at the door between two huge honey-suckle bushes, that were +pink with blossom and full of scent. The walls could scarcely be seen +for branches of vine and sprays of rose and jessamine that interlaced +and grew entirely as chance and their own will bade them; for the +inmates of the cottage seemed to pay no attention to the growth which +adorned their house, and to take no care of it, leaving to it the fresh +capricious charm of nature. + +Some clothes spread out on the gooseberry bushes were drying in the +sun. A cat was sitting on a machine for stripping hemp; beneath it lay a +newly scoured brass caldron, among a quantity of potato-parings. On +the other side of the house Raphael saw a sort of barricade of dead +thorn-bushes, meant no doubt to keep the poultry from scratching up +the vegetables and pot-herbs. It seemed like the end of the earth. The +dwelling was like some bird's-nest ingeniously set in a cranny of the +rocks, a clever and at the same time a careless bit of workmanship. A +simple and kindly nature lay round about it; its rusticity was genuine, +but there was a charm like that of poetry in it; for it grew and throve +at a thousand miles' distance from our elaborate and conventional +poetry. It was like none of our conceptions; it was a spontaneous +growth, a masterpiece due to chance. + +As Raphael reached the place, the sunlight fell across it from right to +left, bringing out all the colors of its plants and trees; the yellowish +or gray bases of the crags, the different shades of the green leaves, +the masses of flowers, pink, blue, or white, the climbing plants +with their bell-like blossoms, and the shot velvet of the mosses, the +purple-tinted blooms of the heather,--everything was either brought +into relief or made fairer yet by the enchantment of the light or by the +contrasting shadows; and this was the case most of all with the sheet of +water, wherein the house, the trees, the granite peaks, and the sky were +all faithfully reflected. Everything had a radiance of its own in this +delightful picture, from the sparkling mica-stone to the bleached tuft +of grass hidden away in the soft shadows; the spotted cow with its +glossy hide, the delicate water-plants that hung down over the pool like +fringes in a nook where blue or emerald colored insects were buzzing +about, the roots of trees like a sand-besprinkled shock of hair above +grotesque faces in the flinty rock surface,--all these things made a +harmony for the eye. + +The odor of the tepid water; the scent of the flowers, and the breath of +the caverns which filled the lonely place gave Raphael a sensation that +was almost enjoyment. Silence reigned in majesty over these woods, which +possibly are unknown to the tax-collector; but the barking of a couple +of dogs broke the stillness all at once; the cows turned their heads +towards the entrance of the valley, showing their moist noses to +Raphael, stared stupidly at him, and then fell to browsing again. A +goat and her kid, that seemed to hang on the side of the crags in some +magical fashion, capered and leapt to a slab of granite near to Raphael, +and stayed there a moment, as if to seek to know who he was. The yapping +of the dogs brought out a plump child, who stood agape, and next came a +white-haired old man of middle height. Both of these two beings were in +keeping with the surroundings, the air, the flowers, and the dwelling. +Health appeared to overflow in this fertile region; old age and +childhood thrived there. There seemed to be, about all these types of +existence, the freedom and carelessness of the life of primitive times, +a happiness of use and wont that gave the lie to our philosophical +platitudes, and wrought a cure of all its swelling passions in the +heart. + +The old man belonged to the type of model dear to the masculine brush +of Schnetz. The countless wrinkles upon his brown face looked as if +they would be hard to the touch; the straight nose, the prominent +cheek-bones, streaked with red veins like a vine-leaf in autumn, the +angular features, all were characteristics of strength, even where +strength existed no longer. The hard hands, now that they toiled no +longer, had preserved their scanty white hair, his bearing was that of +an absolutely free man; it suggested the thought that, had he been +an Italian, he would have perhaps turned brigand, for the love of the +liberty so dear to him. The child was a regular mountaineer, with the +black eyes that can face the sun without flinching, a deeply +tanned complexion, and rough brown hair. His movements were like a +bird's--swift, decided, and unconstrained; his clothing was ragged; the +white, fair skin showed through the rents in his garments. There they +both stood in silence, side by side, both obeying the same impulse; in +both faces were clear tokens of an absolutely identical and idle life. +The old man had adopted the child's amusements, and the child had fallen +in with the old man's humor; there was a sort of tacit agreement between +two kinds of feebleness, between failing powers well-nigh spent and +powers just about to unfold themselves. + +Very soon a woman who seemed to be about thirty years old appeared on +the threshold of the door, spinning as she came. She was an Auvergnate, +a high-colored, comfortable-looking, straightforward sort of person, +with white teeth; her cap and dress, the face, full figure, and general +appearance, were of the Auvergne peasant stamp. So was her dialect; she +was a thorough embodiment of her district; its hardworking ways, its +thrift, ignorance, and heartiness all met in her. + +She greeted Raphael, and they began to talk. The dogs quieted down; +the old man went and sat on a bench in the sun; the child followed his +mother about wherever she went, listening without saying a word, and +staring at the stranger. + +"You are not afraid to live here, good woman?" + +"What should we be afraid of, sir? When we bolt the door, who ever could +get inside? Oh, no, we aren't afraid at all. And besides," she said, +as she brought the Marquis into the principal room in the house, "what +should thieves come to take from us here?" + +She designated the room as she spoke; the smoke-blackened walls, with +some brilliant pictures in blue, red, and green, an "End of Credit," a +Crucifixion, and the "Grenadiers of the Imperial Guard" for their +sole ornament; the furniture here and there, the old wooden four-post +bedstead, the table with crooked legs, a few stools, the chest that +held the bread, the flitch that hung from the ceiling, a jar of salt, a +stove, and on the mantleshelf a few discolored yellow plaster figures. +As he went out again Raphael noticed a man half-way up the crags, +leaning on a hoe, and watching the house with interest. + +"That's my man, sir," said the Auvergnate, unconsciously smiling in +peasant fashion; "he is at work up there." + +"And that old man is your father?" + +"Asking your pardon, sir, he is my man's grandfather. Such as you see +him, he is a hundred and two, and yet quite lately he walked over to +Clermont with our little chap! Oh, he has been a strong man in his time; +but he does nothing now but sleep and eat and drink. He amuses himself +with the little fellow. Sometimes the child trails him up the hillsides, +and he will just go up there along with him." + +Valentin made up his mind immediately. He would live between this child +and old man, breathe the same air; eat their bread, drink the same +water, sleep with them, make the blood in his veins like theirs. It was +a dying man's fancy. For him the prime model, after which the customary +existence of the individual should be shaped, the real formula for the +life of a human being, the only true and possible life, the life-ideal, +was to become one of the oysters adhering to this rock, to save +his shell a day or two longer by paralyzing the power of death. One +profoundly selfish thought took possession of him, and the whole +universe was swallowed up and lost in it. For him the universe existed +no longer; the whole world had come to be within himself. For the sick, +the world begins at their pillow and ends at the foot of the bed; and +this countryside was Raphael's sick-bed. + +Who has not, at some time or other in his life, watched the comings +and goings of an ant, slipped straws into a yellow slug's one +breathing-hole, studied the vagaries of a slender dragon-fly, pondered +admiringly over the countless veins in an oak-leaf, that bring the +colors of a rose window in some Gothic cathedral into contrast with the +reddish background? Who has not looked long in delight at the effects +of sun and rain on a roof of brown tiles, at the dewdrops, or at the +variously shaped petals of the flower-cups? Who has not sunk into these +idle, absorbing meditations on things without, that have no conscious +end, yet lead to some definite thought at last. Who, in short, has not +led a lazy life, the life of childhood, the life of the savage without +his labor? This life without a care or a wish Raphael led for some days' +space. He felt a distinct improvement in his condition, a wonderful +sense of ease, that quieted his apprehensions and soothed his +sufferings. + +He would climb the crags, and then find a seat high up on some peak +whence he could see a vast expanse of distant country at a glance, and +he would spend whole days in this way, like a plant in the sun, or a +hare in its form. And at last, growing familiar with the appearances +of the plant-life about him, and of the changes in the sky, he minutely +noted the progress of everything working around him in the water, on the +earth, or in the air. He tried to share the secret impulses of nature, +sought by passive obedience to become a part of it, and to lie within +the conservative and despotic jurisdiction that regulates instinctive +existence. He no longer wished to steer his own course. + +Just as criminals in olden times were safe from the pursuit of justice, +if they took refuge under the shadow of the altar, so Raphael made an +effort to slip into the sanctuary of life. He succeeded in becoming an +integral part of the great and mighty fruit-producing organization; he +had adapted himself to the inclemency of the air, and had dwelt in every +cave among the rocks. He had learned the ways and habits of growth of +every plant, had studied the laws of the watercourses and their beds, +and had come to know the animals; he was at last so perfectly at +one with this teeming earth, that he had in some sort discerned its +mysteries and caught the spirit of it. + +The infinitely varied forms of every natural kingdom were, to his +thinking, only developments of one and the same substance, different +combinations brought about by the same impulse, endless emanations from +a measureless Being which was acting, thinking, moving, and growing, and +in harmony with which he longed to grow, to move, to think, and act. +He had fancifully blended his life with the life of the crags; he had +deliberately planted himself there. During the earliest days of +his sojourn in these pleasant surroundings, Valentin tasted all the +pleasures of childhood again, thanks to the strange hallucination of +apparent convalescence, which is not unlike the pauses of delirium +that nature mercifully provides for those in pain. He went about making +trifling discoveries, setting to work on endless things, and finishing +none of them; the evening's plans were quite forgotten in the morning; +he had no cares, he was happy; he thought himself saved. + +One morning he had lain in bed till noon, deep in the dreams between +sleep and waking, which give to realities a fantastic appearance, and +make the wildest fancies seem solid facts; while he was still uncertain +that he was not dreaming yet, he suddenly heard his hostess giving a +report of his health to Jonathan, for the first time. Jonathan came +to inquire after him daily, and the Auvergnate, thinking no doubt +that Valentin was still asleep, had not lowered the tones of a voice +developed in mountain air. + +"No better and no worse," she said. "He coughed all last night again fit +to kill himself. Poor gentleman, he coughs and spits till it is piteous. +My husband and I often wonder to each other where he gets the strength +from to cough like that. It goes to your heart. What a cursed complaint +it is! He has no strength at all. I am always afraid I shall find him +dead in his bed some morning. He is every bit as pale as a waxen Christ. +_Dame_! I watch him while he dresses; his poor body is as thin as a +nail. And he does not feel well now; but no matter. It's all the same; +he wears himself out with running about as if he had health and to +spare. All the same, he is very brave, for he never complains at all. +But really he would be better under the earth than on it, for he is +enduring the agonies of Christ. I don't wish that myself, sir; it is +quite in our interests; but even if he didn't pay us what he does, I +should be just as fond of him; it is not our own interest that is our +motive. + +"Ah, _mon Dieu_!" she continued, "Parisians are the people for these +dogs' diseases. Where did he catch it, now? Poor young man! And he is so +sure that he is going to get well! That fever just gnaws him, you know; +it eats him away; it will be the death of him. He has no notion whatever +of that; he does not know it, sir; he sees nothing----You mustn't cry +about him, M. Jonathan; you must remember that he will be happy, and +will not suffer any more. You ought to make a neuvaine for him; I have +seen wonderful cures come of the nine days' prayer, and I would gladly +pay for a wax taper to save such a gentle creature, so good he is, a +paschal lamb----" + +As Raphael's voice had grown too weak to allow him to make himself +heard, he was compelled to listen to this horrible loquacity. His +irritation, however, drove him out of bed at length, and he appeared +upon the threshold. + +"Old scoundrel!" he shouted to Jonathan; "do you mean to put me to +death?" + +The peasant woman took him for a ghost, and fled. + +"I forbid you to have any anxiety whatever about my health," Raphael +went on. + +"Yes, my Lord Marquis," said the old servant, wiping away his tears. + +"And for the future you had very much better not come here without my +orders." + +Jonathan meant to be obedient, but in the look full of pity and +devotion that he gave the Marquis before he went, Raphael read his own +death-warrant. Utterly disheartened, brought all at once to a sense of +his real position, Valentin sat down on the threshold, locked his arms +across his chest, and bowed his head. Jonathan turned to his master in +alarm, with "My Lord----" + +"Go away, go away," cried the invalid. + +In the hours of the next morning, Raphael climbed the crags, and sat +down in a mossy cleft in the rocks, whence he could see the narrow path +along which the water for the dwelling was carried. At the base of the +hill he saw Jonathan in conversation with the Auvergnate. Some malicious +power interpreted for him all the woman's forebodings, and filled the +breeze and the silence with her ominous words. Thrilled with horror, he +took refuge among the highest summits of the mountains, and stayed +there till the evening; but yet he could not drive away the gloomy +presentiments awakened within him in such an unfortunate manner by a +cruel solicitude on his account. + +The Auvergne peasant herself suddenly appeared before him like a shadow +in the dusk; a perverse freak of the poet within him found a vague +resemblance between her black and white striped petticoat and the bony +frame of a spectre. + +"The damp is falling now, sir," said she. "If you stop out there, you +will go off just like rotten fruit. You must come in. It isn't healthy +to breathe the damp, and you have taken nothing since the morning, +besides." + +"_Tonnerre de Dieu_! old witch," he cried; "let me live after my own +fashion, I tell you, or I shall be off altogether. It is quite bad +enough to dig my grave every morning; you might let it alone in the +evenings at least----" + +"Your grave, sir! I dig your grave!--and where may your grave be? I want +to see you as old as father there, and not in your grave by any +manner of means. The grave! that comes soon enough for us all; in the +grave----" + +"That is enough," said Raphael. + +"Take my arm, sir." + +"No." + +The feeling of pity in others is very difficult for a man to bear, and +it is hardest of all when the pity is deserved. Hatred is a tonic--it +quickens life and stimulates revenge; but pity is death to us--it makes +our weakness weaker still. It is as if distress simpered ingratiatingly +at us; contempt lurks in the tenderness, or tenderness in an affront. +In the centenarian Raphael saw triumphant pity, a wondering pity in the +child's eyes, an officious pity in the woman, and in her husband a pity +that had an interested motive; but no matter how the sentiment declared +itself, death was always its import. + +A poet makes a poem of everything; it is tragical or joyful, as things +happen to strike his imagination; his lofty soul rejects all half-tones; +he always prefers vivid and decided colors. In Raphael's soul this +compassion produced a terrible poem of mourning and melancholy. When +he had wished to live in close contact with nature, he had of course +forgotten how freely natural emotions are expressed. He would think +himself quite alone under a tree, whilst he struggled with an obstinate +coughing fit, a terrible combat from which he never issued victorious +without utter exhaustion afterwards; and then he would meet the clear, +bright eyes of the little boy, who occupied the post of sentinel, like +a savage in a bent of grass; the eyes scrutinized him with a childish +wonder, in which there was as much amusement as pleasure, and an +indescribable mixture of indifference and interest. The awful _Brother, +you must die_, of the Trappists seemed constantly legible in the eyes +of the peasants with whom Raphael was living; he scarcely knew which +he dreaded most, their unfettered talk or their silence; their presence +became torture. + +One morning he saw two men in black prowling about in his neighborhood, +who furtively studied him and took observations. They made as though +they had come there for a stroll, and asked him a few indifferent +questions, to which he returned short answers. He recognized them both. +One was the _cure_ and the other the doctor at the springs; Jonathan had +no doubt sent them, or the people in the house had called them in, or +the scent of an approaching death had drawn them thither. He beheld his +own funeral, heard the chanting of the priests, and counted the tall wax +candles; and all that lovely fertile nature around him, in whose lap +he had thought to find life once more, he saw no longer, save through a +veil of crape. Everything that but lately had spoken of length of days +to him, now prophesied a speedy end. He set out the next day for Paris, +not before he had been inundated with cordial wishes, which the people +of the house uttered in melancholy and wistful tones for his benefit. + +He traveled through the night, and awoke as they passed through one of +the pleasant valleys of the Bourbonnais. View after view swam before his +gaze, and passed rapidly away like the vague pictures of a dream. +Cruel nature spread herself out before his eyes with tantalizing grace. +Sometimes the Allier, a liquid shining ribbon, meandered through the +distant fertile landscape; then followed the steeples of hamlets, hiding +modestly in the depths of a ravine with its yellow cliffs; sometimes, +after the monotony of vineyards, the watermills of a little valley would +be suddenly seen; and everywhere there were pleasant chateaux, hillside +villages, roads with their fringes of queenly poplars; and the Loire +itself, at last, with its wide sheets of water sparkling like diamonds +amid its golden sands. Attractions everywhere, without end! This nature, +all astir with a life and gladness like that of childhood, scarcely able +to contain the impulses and sap of June, possessed a fatal attraction +for the darkened gaze of the invalid. He drew the blinds of his carriage +windows, and betook himself again to slumber. + +Towards evening, after they had passed Cesne, he was awakened by lively +music, and found himself confronted with a village fair. The horses +were changed near the marketplace. Whilst the postilions were engaged +in making the transfer, he saw the people dancing merrily, pretty and +attractive girls with flowers about them, excited youths, and finally +the jolly wine-flushed countenances of old peasants. Children prattled, +old women laughed and chatted; everything spoke in one voice, and there +was a holiday gaiety about everything, down to their clothing and the +tables that were set out. A cheerful expression pervaded the square and +the church, the roofs and windows; even the very doorways of the village +seemed likewise to be in holiday trim. + +Raphael could not repress an angry exclamation, nor yet a wish to +silence the fiddles, annihilate the stir and bustle, stop the clamor, +and disperse the ill-timed festival; like a dying man, he felt unable +to endure the slightest sound, and he entered his carriage much annoyed. +When he looked out upon the square from the window, he saw that all the +happiness was scared away; the peasant women were in flight, and the +benches were deserted. Only a blind musician, on the scaffolding of the +orchestra, went on playing a shrill tune on his clarionet. That piping +of his, without dancers to it, and the solitary old man himself, in the +shadow of the lime-tree, with his curmudgeon's face, scanty hair, and +ragged clothing, was like a fantastic picture of Raphael's wish. The +heavy rain was pouring in torrents; it was one of those thunderstorms +that June brings about so rapidly, to cease as suddenly. The thing was +so natural, that, when Raphael had looked out and seen some pale clouds +driven over by a gust of wind, he did not think of looking at the piece +of skin. He lay back again in the corner of his carriage, which was very +soon rolling upon its way. + +The next day found him back in his home again, in his own room, beside +his own fireside. He had had a large fire lighted; he felt cold. +Jonathan brought him some letters; they were all from Pauline. He opened +the first one without any eagerness, and unfolded it as if it had +been the gray-paper form of application for taxes made by the revenue +collector. He read the first sentence: + +"Gone! This really is a flight, my Raphael. How is it? No one can tell +me where you are. And who should know if not I?" + +He did not wish to learn any more. He calmly took up the letters +and threw them in the fire, watching with dull and lifeless eyes the +perfumed paper as it was twisted, shriveled, bent, and devoured by the +capricious flames. Fragments that fell among the ashes allowed him to +see the beginning of a sentence, or a half-burnt thought or word; he +took a pleasure in deciphering them--a sort of mechanical amusement. + +"Sitting at your door--expected--Caprice--I obey--Rivals--I, never!--thy +Pauline--love--no more of Pauline?--If you had wished to leave me for +ever, you would not have deserted me--Love eternal--To die----" + +The words caused him a sort of remorse; he seized the tongs, and rescued +a last fragment of the letter from the flames. + +"I have murmured," so Pauline wrote, "but I have never complained, my +Raphael! If you have left me so far behind you, it was doubtless because +you wished to hide some heavy grief from me. Perhaps you will kill me +one of these days, but you are too good to torture me. So do not go away +from me like this. There! I can bear the worst of torment, if only I +am at your side. Any grief that you could cause me would not be grief. +There is far more love in my heart for you than I have ever yet shown +you. I can endure anything, except this weeping far away from you, this +ignorance of your----" + +Raphael laid the scorched scrap on the mantelpiece, then all at once he +flung it into the fire. The bit of paper was too clearly a symbol of his +own love and luckless existence. + +"Go and find M. Bianchon," he told Jonathan. + +Horace came and found Raphael in bed. + +"Can you prescribe a draught for me--some mild opiate which will always +keep me in a somnolent condition, a draught that will not be injurious +although taken constantly." + +"Nothing is easier," the young doctor replied; "but you will have to +keep on your feet for a few hours daily, at any rate, so as to take your +food." + +"A few hours!" Raphael broke in; "no, no! I only wish to be out of bed +for an hour at most." + +"What is your object?" inquired Bianchon. + +"To sleep; for so one keeps alive, at any rate," the patient answered. +"Let no one come in, not even Mlle. Pauline de Wistchnau!" he added to +Jonathan, as the doctor was writing out his prescription. + +"Well, M. Horace, is there any hope?" the old servant asked, going as +far as the flight of steps before the door, with the young doctor. + +"He may live for some time yet, or he may die to-night. The chances of +life and death are evenly balanced in his case. I can't understand it +at all," said the doctor, with a doubtful gesture. "His mind ought to be +diverted." + +"Diverted! Ah, sir, you don't know him! He killed a man the other day +without a word!--Nothing can divert him!" + +For some days Raphael lay plunged in the torpor of this artificial +sleep. Thanks to the material power that opium exerts over the +immaterial part of us, this man with the powerful and active imagination +reduced himself to the level of those sluggish forms of animal life that +lurk in the depths of forests, and take the form of vegetable refuse, +never stirring from their place to catch their easy prey. He had +darkened the very sun in heaven; the daylight never entered his room. +About eight o'clock in the evening he would leave his bed, with no very +clear consciousness of his own existence; he would satisfy the claims +of hunger and return to bed immediately. One dull blighted hour after +another only brought confused pictures and appearances before him, and +lights and shadows against a background of darkness. He lay buried in +deep silence; movement and intelligence were completely annihilated for +him. He woke later than usual one evening, and found that his dinner was +not ready. He rang for Jonathan. + +"You can go," he said. "I have made you rich; you shall be happy in +your old age; but I will not let you muddle away my life any longer. +Miserable wretch! I am hungry--where is my dinner? How is it?--Answer +me!" + +A satisfied smile stole over Jonathan's face. He took a candle that +lit up the great dark rooms of the mansion with its flickering light; +brought his master, who had again become an automaton, into a great +gallery, and flung a door suddenly open. Raphael was all at once dazzled +by a flood of light and amazed by an unheard-of scene. + +His chandeliers had been filled with wax-lights; the rarest flowers +from his conservatory were carefully arranged about the room; the table +sparkled with silver, gold, crystal, and porcelain; a royal banquet was +spread--the odors of the tempting dishes tickled the nervous fibres of +the palate. There sat his friends; he saw them among beautiful women in +full evening dress, with bare necks and shoulders, with flowers in their +hair; fair women of every type, with sparkling eyes, attractively and +fancifully arrayed. One had adopted an Irish jacket, which displayed +the alluring outlines of her form; one wore the "basquina" of Andalusia, +with its wanton grace; here was a half-clad Dian the huntress, there the +costume of Mlle. de la Valliere, amorous and coy; and all of them alike +were given up to the intoxication of the moment. + +As Raphael's death-pale face showed itself in the doorway, a sudden +outcry broke out, as vehement as the blaze of this improvised banquet. +The voices, perfumes, and lights, the exquisite beauty of the women, +produced their effect upon his senses, and awakened his desires. +Delightful music, from unseen players in the next room, drowned the +excited tumult in a torrent of harmony--the whole strange vision was +complete. + +Raphael felt a caressing pressure on is own hand, a woman's white, +youthful arms were stretched out to grasp him, and the hand was +Aquilina's. He knew now that this scene was not a fantastic illusion +like the fleeting pictures of his disordered dreams; he uttered a +dreadful cry, slammed the door, and dealt his heartbroken old servant a +blow in the face. + +"Monster!" he cried, "so you have sworn to kill me!" and trembling at +the risks he had just now run, he summoned all his energies, reached his +room, took a powerful sleeping draught, and went to bed. + +"The devil!" cried Jonathan, recovering himself. "And M. Bianchon most +certainly told me to divert his mind." + +It was close upon midnight. By that time, owing to one of those physical +caprices that are the marvel and the despair of science, Raphael, in his +slumber, became radiant with beauty. A bright color glowed on his pale +cheeks. There was an almost girlish grace about the forehead in which +his genius was revealed. Life seemed to bloom on the quiet face that lay +there at rest. His sleep was sound; a light, even breath was drawn in +between red lips; he was smiling--he had passed no doubt through the +gate of dreams into a noble life. Was he a centenarian now? Did his +grandchildren come to wish him length of days? Or, on a rustic bench set +in the sun and under the trees, was he scanning, like the prophet on the +mountain heights, a promised land, a far-off time of blessing. + +"Here you are!" + +The words, uttered in silver tones, dispelled the shadowy faces of his +dreams. He saw Pauline, in the lamplight, sitting upon the bed; Pauline +grown fairer yet through sorrow and separation. Raphael remained +bewildered by the sight of her face, white as the petals of some water +flower, and the shadow of her long, dark hair about it seemed to make it +whiter still. Her tears had left a gleaming trace upon her cheeks, and +hung there yet, ready to fall at the least movement. She looked like an +angel fallen from the skies, or a spirit that a breath might waft away, +as she sat there all in white, with her head bowed, scarcely creasing +the quilt beneath her weight. + +"Ah, I have forgotten everything!" she cried, as Raphael opened his +eyes. "I have no voice left except to tell you, 'I am yours.' There is +nothing in my heart but love. Angel of my life, you have never been so +beautiful before! Your eyes are blazing---- But come, I can guess it +all. You have been in search of health without me; you were afraid of +me---- well----" + +"Go! go! leave me," Raphael muttered at last. "Why do you not go? If you +stay, I shall die. Do you want to see me die?" + +"Die?" she echoed. "Can you die without me? Die? But you are young; and +I love you! Die?" she asked, in a deep, hollow voice. She seized his +hands with a frenzied movement. "Cold!" she wailed. "Is it all an +illusion?" + +Raphael drew the little bit of skin from under his pillow; it was as +tiny and as fragile as a periwinkle petal. He showed it to her. + +"Pauline!" he said, "fair image of my fair life, let us say good-bye?" + +"Good-bye?" she echoed, looking surprised. + +"Yes. This is a talisman that grants me all my wishes, and that +represents my span of life. See here, this is all that remains of it. If +you look at me any longer, I shall die----" + +The young girl thought that Valentin had grown lightheaded; she took the +talisman and went to fetch the lamp. By its tremulous light which she +shed over Raphael and the talisman, she scanned her lover's face and the +last morsel of the magic skin. As Pauline stood there, in all the beauty +of love and terror, Raphael was no longer able to control his thoughts; +memories of tender scenes, and of passionate and fevered joys, +overwhelmed the soul that had so long lain dormant within him, and +kindled a fire not quite extinct. + +"Pauline! Pauline! Come to me----" + +A dreadful cry came from the girl's throat, her eyes dilated with +horror, her eyebrows were distorted and drawn apart by an unspeakable +anguish; she read in Raphael's eyes the vehement desire in which she had +once exulted, but as it grew she felt a light movement in her hand, and +the skin contracted. She did not stop to think; she fled into the next +room, and locked the door. + +"Pauline! Pauline!" cried the dying man, as he rushed after her; "I love +you, I adore you, I want you, Pauline! I wish to die in your arms!" + +With unnatural strength, the last effort of ebbing life, he broke down +the door, and saw his mistress writhing upon a sofa. Pauline had vainly +tried to pierce her heart, and now thought to find a rapid death by +strangling herself with her shawl. + +"If I die, he will live," she said, trying to tighten the knot that she +had made. + +In her struggle with death her hair hung loose, her shoulders were bare, +her clothing was disordered, her eyes were bathed in tears, her face +was flushed and drawn with the horror of despair; yet as her exceeding +beauty met Raphael's intoxicated eyes, his delirium grew. He sprang +towards her like a bird of prey, tore away the shawl, and tried to take +her in his arms. + +The dying man sought for words to express the wish that was consuming +his strength; but no sounds would come except the choking death-rattle +in his chest. Each breath he drew sounded hollower than the last, and +seemed to come from his very entrails. At the last moment, no longer +able to utter a sound, he set his teeth in Pauline's breast. Jonathan +appeared, terrified by the cries he had heard, and tried to tear away +the dead body from the grasp of the girl who was crouching with it in a +corner. + +"What do you want?" she asked. "He is mine, I have killed him. Did I not +foresee how it would be?" + + + +EPILOGUE + +"And what became of Pauline?" + +"Pauline? Ah! Do you sometimes spend a pleasant winter evening by your +own fireside, and give yourself up luxuriously to memories of love or +youth, while you watch the glow of the fire where the logs of oak are +burning? Here, the fire outlines a sort of chessboard in red squares, +there it has a sheen like velvet; little blue flames start up and +flicker and play about in the glowing depths of the brasier. A +mysterious artist comes and adapts that flame to his own ends; by +a secret of his own he draws a visionary face in the midst of those +flaming violet and crimson hues, a face with unimaginable delicate +outlines, a fleeting apparition which no chance will ever bring back +again. It is a woman's face, her hair is blown back by the wind, her +features speak of a rapture of delight; she breathes fire in the midst +of the fire. She smiles, she dies, you will never see her any more. +Farewell, flower of the flame! Farewell, essence incomplete and +unforeseen, come too early or too late to make the spark of some +glorious diamond." + +"But, Pauline?" + +"You do not see, then? I will begin again. Make way! make way! She +comes, she is here, the queen of illusions, a woman fleeting as a kiss, +a woman bright as lightning, issuing in a blaze like lightning from the +sky, a being uncreated, of spirit and love alone. She has wrapped her +shadowy form in flame, or perhaps the flame betokens that she exists +but for a moment. The pure outlines of her shape tell you that she +comes from heaven. Is she not radiant as an angel? Can you not hear the +beating of her wings in space? She sinks down beside you more lightly +than a bird, and you are entranced by her awful eyes; there is a magical +power in her light breathing that draws your lips to hers; she flies and +you follow; you feel the earth beneath you no longer. If you could but +once touch that form of snow with your eager, deluded hands, once twine +the golden hair round your fingers, place one kiss on those shining +eyes! There is an intoxicating vapor around, and the spell of a siren +music is upon you. Every nerve in you is quivering; you are filled with +pain and longing. O joy for which there is no name! You have touched the +woman's lips, and you are awakened at once by a horrible pang. Oh! ah! +yes, you have struck your head against the corner of the bedpost, you +have been clasping its brown mahogany sides, and chilly gilt ornaments; +embracing a piece of metal, a brazen Cupid." + +"But how about Pauline, sir?" + +"What, again? Listen. One lovely morning at Tours a young man, who held +the hand of a pretty woman in his, went on board the _Ville d'Angers_. +Thus united they both looked and wondered long at a white form that rose +elusively out of the mists above the broad waters of the Loire, like +some child of the sun and the river, or some freak of air and cloud. +This translucent form was a sylph or a naiad by turns; she hovered in +the air like a word that haunts the memory, which seeks in vain to grasp +it; she glided among the islands, she nodded her head here and there +among the tall poplar trees; then she grew to a giant's height; she +shook out the countless folds of her drapery to the light; she shot +light from the aureole that the sun had litten about her face; she +hovered above the slopes of the hills and their little hamlets, and +seemed to bar the passage of the boat before the Chateau d'Usse. You +might have thought that _La dame des belles cousines_ sought to protect +her country from modern intrusion." + +"Well, well, I understand. So it went with Pauline. But how about +Foedora?" + +"Oh! Foedora, you are sure to meet with her! She was at the Bouffons +last night, and she will go to the Opera this evening, and if you like +to take it so, she is Society." + + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + + Aquilina + Melmoth Reconciled + + Bianchon, Horace + Father Goriot + The Atheist's Mass + Cesar Birotteau + The Commission in Lunacy + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Secrets of a Princess + The Government Clerks + Pierrette + A Study of Woman + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Honorine + The Seamy Side of History + A Second Home + A Prince of Bohemia + Letters of Two Brides + The Muse of the Department + The Imaginary Mistress + The Middle Classes + Cousin Betty + The Country Parson + In addition, M. Bianchon narrated the following: + Another Study of Woman + La Grande Breteche + + Canalis, Constant-Cyr-Melchior, Baron de + Letters of Two Brides + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Modeste Mignon + Another Study of Woman + A Start in Life + Beatrix + The Unconscious Humorists + The Member for Arcis + + Dudley, Lady Arabella + The Lily of the Valley + The Ball at Sceaux + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + Letters of Two Brides + + Euphrasia + Melmoth Reconciled + + Joseph + A Study of Woman + + Massol + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + A Daughter of Eve + Cousin Betty + The Unconscious Humorists + + Navarreins, Duc de + A Bachelor's Establishment + Colonel Chabert + The Muse of the Department + The Thirteen + Jealousies of a Country Town + The Peasantry + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Country Parson + The Gondreville Mystery + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + + Rastignac, Eugene de + Father Goriot + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Ball at Sceaux + The Interdiction + A Study of Woman + Another Study of Woman + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + The Gondreville Mystery + The Firm of Nucingen + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + The Unconscious Humorists + + Taillefer, Jean-Frederic + The Firm of Nucingen + Father Goriot + The Red Inn + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Magic Skin, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAGIC SKIN *** + +***** This file should be named 1307.txt or 1307.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/0/1307/ + +Produced by Dagny, and Bonnie Sala + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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