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diff --git a/old/13035.txt b/old/13035.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b029ea9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13035.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1130 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Goop Directory, by Gelett Burgess + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Goop Directory + +Author: Gelett Burgess + +Release Date: July 28, 2004 [EBook #13035] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOOP DIRECTORY *** + + + + +Produced by David Newman. + + + + +THE GOOP DIRECTORY +OF +Juvenile Offenders Famous for their Misdeeds +and Serving as a Salutary Example for all Virtuous Children + +with Pictures by +GELETT BURGESS +Author of "Goops," "The Lively City o' Ligg," etc. + +[Illustration] + +1913 + + + + +INDEX + +Argyll, Marmaduke Talking while Eating +Beal, Nancy Throwing away Things +Bildad, Master Selfish with Toys +Bingg, Percy In the Way +Birch, Betsy Talking in Church +Boing, Levi Going Carelessly +Call, Mary C. C. Crying Continually +Coralie, Little Getting Feet Wet +Crossett, Andrew Playing with Faucet +Day, Annabella Obeying Slowly +De Witt, Gwendolyn De V. Sulking +Elfinstone, Adolphus Playing with Matches +Fish, Amanda Stealing Sweets +Fisher, Frederick Not Eating Crusts +Hecht, Ezra Not Minding Mother +Hopper, Midget and Bridget Restless while Dressing +James, Amanda M. Calling Names +Klein, Susie Whining +Lees, Roberto Teasing Animals +LeGrand, Annie A. Lying and Fibbing +Mackadoo, Miss Not Answering +McClung, Isabel Sticking out Tongue +McGiff, Alexander B. Not Wiping Nose +McGuff, Elias E. Rough and Rude +McKim, Solomon Scuffing Feet +Pell, John D. Ordering People +Pound, Esau Leaving Things Around +Puddingfoot, Eliza Cheating at Play +Pratt, Amelia Saying "I won't" +Ray, Jumbo Snatching Toys +Riff, Annie F. R. Snuffling and Sniffling +Ropps, Felicia Handling Things +Sloop, Percival B. Acting Uncleanly +Smalt, Susie Blaming Others +Sprooks, Sperry Tearing Books +Stead, Uriah Not Going to Bed +Trood, Rosie L. V. Playing with Food + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +[Illustration] + +In this DIRECTORY you'll see +Just what you never ought to be; +And so, it should Direct your way +To Good Behavior, every day. +The children of whose faults I tell +Are known by other names, as well, +So see that _you_ aren't in this group +Of Naughty Ones. _Don't be a Goop_! + + +MARMADUKE ARGYLL + +A Goop that always + makes me smile +Is this one: + Marmaduke Argyll. +His mouth is full + from cheek to cheek, +Why should he then + attempt to speak? +It makes me smile, + but still, the fact is, +It is a most + unpleasant practice. + +[Illustration: Talking while Eating] + + +NANCY BEAL + +On the sidewalk + Nancy Beal +Throws her old + banana peel; +Throws her apple + skin and cores, +Right in front + of people's doors! +Isn't that a + shocking trick? +Ask that Goop + to stop it, quick! + +[Illustration: Throwing away Things] + + +MASTER BILDAD + +A puppy, when he + gets a bone, +Will keep it for + himself alone. +So Bildad would not + share his toys +Or lend them to + the other boys. +He was a Goop; + and so are you +If you are ever + selfish, too! + +[Illustration: Selfish with Toys] + + +PERCY BINGG + +Percy Bingg, + when he's at play, +Is almost always + in the way; +In the room, + or in the street, +Always under + people's feet! +Goops like that + annoy me so! +_You_ keep out + the way, I know! + +[Illustration: In the Way] + + +BETSY BIRCH + +Look at little + Betsy Birch, +Always whispering + in church! +Always playing + with the books, +Never caring + how she looks! +Never knowing + Goops like her +Ought to neither + talk nor stir! + +[Illustration: Talking in Church] + + +LEVI BOING + +Are you a Goop, + like Levi Boing? +He never looks + where he is going; +He's always bumping + into chairs, +And stumbling, when + he goes upstairs; +He tips things over, + bumps his nose. +He _can't_ be careful, + I suppose! + +[Illustration: Going Carelessly] + + +MARY C. C. CALL + +Mary Carey + Cory Call-- +Hear her cry and + hear her bawl! +Hear her groan! + Hear her growl! +Hear her moan!-- + Hear her howl! +She's the goopiest + Goop of all, +Mary Carey + Cory Call! + +[Illustration: Crying Continually] + + +LITTLE CORALIE + +Though Coralie + was small and sweet, +She always, always + had wet feet. +She liked to walk + through puddles; so, +She always had + a cold, you know. +But as _you_ aren't + a Goop, you try +To keep your tootsies + warm and dry. + +[Illustration: Getting Feet Wet] + + +ANDREW CROSSETT + +Have you heard how + Andrew Crossett +Meddled with the + water-faucet? +Letting water + flood the sink? +Andrew was + a Goop, I think; +Otherwise he + would have known +He should let + such things alone! + +[Illustration: Playing with Faucet] + + +ANNABELLA DAY + +How slow is + Annabella Day! +She's _so_ reluctant + to obey! +She acts so sluggish + and so sickly! +Oh, Anna, why not + do it quickly? +Oh, Anna, do be + prompt, and then, +No one will call + you "Goop" again! + +[Illustration: Obeying Slowly] + + +GWENDOLYN De V. De WITT + +Miss Gwendolyn + De Vere De Witt +Is having _such_ + a sulky fit! +Because she couldn't + have her way +With other children + at their play. +A sulky Goop + I really call +As bad as those + who cry and bawl. + +[Illustration: Sulking] + + +ADOLPHUS ELFINSTONE + +Adolphus Elfinstone, + of Nachez, +Thought it was fun + to play with matches +Until the little Goop + had learned +It hurt a lot + when he got burned! +A _little_ fire + is queer and curious; +But soon it grows + quite big and furious. + +[Illustration: Playing with Matches] + + +AMANDA FISH + +If there's sugar + in the dish, +Who will take it? + Mandy Fish? +If there is a + box of candy, +Just look out + for little Mandy! +She goops the fruit, + and leaves the peeling-- +_She_ calls it fun; + I call it stealing! + +[Illustration: Stealing Sweets] + + +FREDERICK FISHER + +Freddie Fisher + fairly fussed +When he came + to eat his crust! +Often on the floor + he'd throw it, +Hoping mother + wouldn't know it! +Goops all hate + to eat the crust; +If you're told to, + then you must! + +[Illustration: Not Eating Crusts] + + +EZRA HECHT + +What in the world + would you expect +Of a Goop whose name + was Ezra Hecht? +Of _course_ he would + refuse to heed +Or mind his mother-- + yes indeed! +Of course he would. + Of course he did. +But _you_ must do + what you are bid. + +[Illustration: Not Minding Mother] + + +M. AND B. HOPPER + +Mother always + is distressed +If you fidget + when you're dressed. +If you fidget + like Miss Midget, +Hopper, or her + sister Bridget. +Goops like that + are _so_ much bother, +That they ought to + dress each other! + +[Illustration: Restless while Dressing] + + +AMANDA M. JAMES + +Amanda Minnesinger + James +She called her sister + horrid names! +She called her brother + names, as well, +So bad I wouldn't + dare to tell! +It's shocking how + a Goop will act! +They have no manners, + that's a fact. + +[Illustration: Calling Names] + + +SUSIE KLEIN + +When e'er I hear + a puppy whine, +I always think + of Susie Klein; +I think of how + she hangs her head, +She doesn't speak-- + she _whines_, instead! +Don't whine! If you + don't speak right out, +You are a Goop, + without a doubt! + +[Illustration: Whining] + + +ROBERTO LEES + +How thoughtless was + Roberto Lees! +(For only thoughtless + children tease). +He teased the little + pussy cat, +He teased the puppy! + Think of that! +He even teased + his sister, too! +I think he was + a Goop--don't you? + +[Illustration: Teasing Animals] + + +ANNIE A. LeGRAND + +The queerest Goop + in all the land +Was Annie Annabelle + LeGrand; +She often said + what wasn't true-- +Which is an awful + thing to do! +But we are honest, + you and I, +We think it's wrong + to tell a lie! + +[Illustration: Lying and Fibbing] + + +MISS MACKADOO + +This is a Goop-- + Miss Mackadoo; +She never speaks + when spoken to. +When spoken to, + she turns her eyes, +And never answers + or replies. +She hangs her head + and sucks her thumb-- +You'd think that she + was deaf and dumb! + +[Illustration: Not Answering] + + +ISABEL McCLUNG + +Do you ever + stick your tongue +Out, like + Isabel McClung? +No one but + a Goop would show +Rudeness such as that, + I know! +If you're good, + take my advice; +_Please_ don't do it! + 'Tisn't nice. + +[Illustration: Sticking out Tongue] + + +ALEXANDER B. McGIFF + +Young Alexander + B. McGiff +Each day had a + clean handkerchief. +In spite of this, + if you'll believe, +He wiped his nose + upon his sleeve! +Nobody but a Goop + would do it; +His mother'd scold him, + if she knew it. + +[Illustration: Not Wiping Nose] + + +ELIAS E. McGUFF + +Elias Ethelbert + McGuff, +Oh, he was rude + and he was rough! +He used to pinch, + he used to poke, +And called his rudeness + just a joke. +What made him plague + his playmates so? +He was a Goop + and didn't know! + +[Illustration: Rough and Rude] + + +SOLOMON McKIM + +I wonder if + you ever meet +The Goop who always + scuffs his feet? +He makes them drag + along the floor +As if they weighed + a ton or more. +Just think of + Solomon McKim, +And don't be slovenly + like him! + +[Illustration: Scuffing Feet] + + +JOHN D. PELL + +When John D. Pell + wants something done, +D'you think he _asks_ + of anyone? +Oh, no! He _orders_ + someone to, +With "Get my hat!" + or, "Tie my shoe!" +The Goops all say + rude things like these, +But you, of course, + say, "If you please!" + +[Illustration: Ordering People] + + +ESAU POUND + +When you're finished + with your play, +Do you put + your toys away? +Do you put + away your hat, +And your coat, + and things like that? +Or, are you + like Esau Pound? +He's the Goop + who leaves things 'round! + +[Illustration: Leaving Things Around] + + +ELIZA PUDDINGFOOT + +If you should ask + why Rosamund +Eliza Puddingfoot + was shunned, +I'd say, because + she'd always cheat +In every game, + so she could beat. +Only a Goop + would act that way +And be dishonest + in her play. + +[Illustration: Cheating at Play] + + +AMELIA PRATT + +"I won't!" says young + Amelia Pratt; +"I won't do this!" + "I won't do that!" +Now isn't "won't" + the naughtiest word +That anyone + has ever heard? +Now isn't that + the rudest way +A Goop could answer? + I should say! + +[Illustration: Saying "I won't"] + + +JUMBO RAY + +No children ever + like to play +With such a Goop + as Jumbo Ray. +For he will snatch + and grab the toys +Of all the little + girls and boys. +Though Jumbo loves + to fuss and fight, +_You_ know, of course, + it isn't right. + +[Illustration: Snatching Toys] + + +ANNIE F. R. RIFF + +Annie Fanny + Ruffle Riff; +Hear her snuffle! + Hear her sniff! +Hear her sniffle! + Hear her snuff!-- +See her--well, + I've said enough. +_You_ have seen her, + I suppose, +The Goop who seldom + blows her nose? + +[Illustration: Snuffling and Sniffling] + + +FELICIA ROPPS + +Funny, how + Felicia Ropps +Always handles + things in shops! +Always pinching, + always poking, +Alwyas feeling, + always stroking +Things she has + no right to touch! +Goops like that + annoy me much! + +[Illustration: Handling Things] + + +PERCIVAL B. SLOOP + +Just look at + Percival B. Sloop, +A most unpleasant + sort of Goop; +He pokes his fingers + in his nose +And wipes his hands + upon his clothes; +He does a lot + of things that you, +I know, would never, + never do! + +[Illustration: Acting Uncleanly] + + +SUSIE SMALT + +"Oh," says little + Susie Smalt, +"It is someone + else's fault!" +"_She_ began it!" + "_She's_ to blame!" +"_She's_ the one that + spoiled the game!" +So Goops always + blame each other; +Do _you_ own up + your fault to Mother? + +[Illustration: Blaming Others] + + +SPERRY SPROOKS + +Have you ever + chanced to look +At a torn and + dirty book? +At a book that's + ragged, soiled, +Inked and finger- + marked and spoiled? +Who has done it? + Sperry Sprooks! +He's the Goop + that spoils the books! + +[Illustration: Tearing Books] + + +URIAH STEAD + +I never saw + Uriah Stead +When he was glad + to go to bed. +There always was + _one_ thing to do +Before he could + take off a shoe! +The little Goop + was always late; +I hope _you_ don't + pro-cras-ti-nate! + +[Illustration: Not Going to Bed] + + +ROSIE L. V. TROOD + +Rosie Lily + Violet Trood, +Always messes + with her food; +Always plays with + her potatoes, +Meat and gravy + and tomatoes! +Callers, who are + asked to dine, +Knowing she's + a Goop, decline! + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Goop Directory, by Gelett Burgess + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GOOP DIRECTORY *** + +***** This file should be named 13035.txt or 13035.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/0/3/13035/ + +Produced by David Newman. + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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