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diff --git a/old/12496.txt b/old/12496.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a1ab3e7 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12496.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1920 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and +Instruction, Vol. 10, No. 287, December 15, 1827, by Various + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 10, No. +287, December 15, 1827 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: June 2, 2004 [eBook #12496] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, +AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 10, NO. 287, DECEMBER 15, 1827*** + + +E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, David Garcia, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 12496-h.htm or 12496-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/4/9/12496/12496-h/12496-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/4/9/12496/12496-h.zip) + + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 10, No. 287.] SATURDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1827. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + + +[Illustration: NEW STEAM CARRIAGE.] + + +Explanation of the References. + +1. The Guide and Engineer, to whom the whole management of the machinery +and conduct of the carriage is intrusted. Besides this man, a guard will +be employed. + +2. The handle which guides the Pole and Pilot Wheels. + +3. The Pilot Wheels. + +4. The Pole. + +5. The Fore Boot, for luggage. + +6. The "Throttle Valve" of the main steam-pipe, which, by means of the +handle, is opened or closed at pleasure, the power of the steam and the +progress of the carriage being thereby regulated from 1 to 10 or 20 +miles per hour. + +7. The Tank for Water, running from end to end, and the full breadth of +the carriage; it will contain 60 gallons of water. + +8. The Carriage, capable of holding six inside-passengers. + +9. Outside Passengers, of which the present carriage will carry 15. + +10. The Hind Boot, containing the Boiler and Furnace. The Boiler is +incased with sheet-iron, and between the pipes the coke and charcoal are +put, the front being closed in the ordinary way with an iron door. The +pipes extend from the cylindrical reservoir of water at the bottom to +the cylindrical chamber for steam at the top, forming a succession of +lines something like a horse-shoe, turned edgeways. The steam enters the +"separators" through large pipes, which are observable on the Plan, and +is thence conducted to its proper destination. + +11. "Separators," in which the steam is separated from the water, the +water descending and returning to the boiler, while the steam ascends, +and is forced into the steam-pipes or main arteries of the machine. + +12. The Pump, by which the water is pumped from the tank, by means of +a flexible hose, to the reservoir, communicating with the boiler. + +13. The Main Steam Pipe, descending from the "separators," and +proceeding in a direct line under the body of the coach to the "throttle +valve" (No. 6,) and thence, under the tank, to the cylinders from which +the pistons work. + +14. Flues of the Furnace, from which there is no smoke, coke and +charcoal being used. + +15. The Perches, of which there are three, conjoined, to support the +machinery. + +16. The Cylinders. There is one between each perch. + +17. Valve Motion, admitting steam alternately to each side of the +pistons. + +18. Cranks, operating on the axle: at the ends of the axle are crotches +(No. 21,) which, as the axle turns round, catch projecting pieces of +iron on the boxes of the wheels, and give them the rotatory motion. The +hind wheels only are thus operated upon. + +19. Propellers, which, as the carriage ascends a hill, are set in +motion, and move like the hind legs of a horse, catching the ground, and +then forcing the machine forward, increasing the rapidity of its motion, +and assisting the steam power. + +20. The Drag, which is applied to increase the friction on the wheel in +going down a hill. This is also assisted by diminishing the pressure of +the steam--or, if necessary, inverting the motion of the wheels. + +21. The Clutch, by which the wheel is sent round. + +22. The Safety Valve, which regulates the proper pressure of the steam +in the pipe. + +23. The Orifice for filling the Tank. This is done by means of a +flexible hose and a funnel, and occupies but a few seconds. + + * * * * * + +Mr. Goldsworthy Gurney, whose name is already familiar to most of our +readers, after a variety of experiments, during the last two years, has +completed a STEAM CARRIAGE on a new principle; or, as a wag said the +other day, he has at length _brought his plan to bear_. We have, +accordingly, procured a drawing of this extraordinary invention, which +we shall proceed to describe generally, since the letters, introduced +in the annexed Engraving, with the accompanying references, will enable +our readers to enter into the details of the machinery:--First, as to +its _safety_, upon which point the public are most sceptical. +In the present invention, it is stated, that, even from the bursting +of the boiler, there is not the most distant chance of mischief to the +passengers. This boiler is tubular, constructed upon philosophical +principles, and upon a plan totally distinct from any thing previously +in use. Instead of being, as in ordinary cases, a large vessel closed on +all sides, with the exception of the valves and steam conductors, which +a high pressure or accidental defect may burst, it is composed of a +succession of welded iron pipes, perhaps forty in number, screwed +together in the manner of the common gas-pipes, at given distances, +extending in a direct line, and in a row, at equal distances from a +small reservoir of water, to the distance of about a yard and a half, +and then curving over in a semi-circle of about half a yard in diameter, +returning in parallel lines to the pipes beneath, to a reservoir above, +thus forming a sort of inverted horse-shoe. This horse-shoe of pipes, +in fact, forms the boiler, and the space between is the furnace; the +whole being enclosed with sheet-iron. The advantage of this arrangement +is obvious; for, while more than a sufficient quantity of steam is +generated for the purposes requited, the only possible accident that +could happen would be, the bursting of one of these barrels, and a +temporary diminution of the steam-power of one-fortieth part. The +effects of the accident could, of course, only be felt within its own +enclosure; and the Engineer could, in ten minutes, repair the injury, by +extracting the wounded barrel, and plugging up the holes at each end; +but the fact is, that such are the proofs to which these barrels are +subjected, before they are used, by the application of a steam-pressure +five hundred times more than can ever be required, that the accident, +trifling as it is, is scarcely possible. + +A contemporary journal illustrates Mr. Gurney's invention by the +following analogy:--"It will appear not a little singular that +Mr. Gurney, who was educated a medical man, has actually made the +construction of the human body, and of animals in general, the model +of his invention. His reservoirs of steam and water, or rather +'_separators_,' as they are called, and which are seen at the end +of our plate, are, as it were, the heart of his steam apparatus, the +lower pipes of the boiler are the arteries, and the upper pipes the +veins. The water, which is the substitute for blood, is first sent from +the reservoirs into the pipes--the operation of fire soon produces +steam, which ascends through the pipes to the upper part of the +reservoir, carrying with it a portion of water into the separators, +which of course descends to the lower part, and returns to fill the +pipes which have been exhausted by the evaporation of the steam--the +steam above pressing it down with an elastic force, so as to keep the +arteries or pipes constantly full, and preserve a regular circulation. +In the centre of the _separators_ are perforated steam pipes, which +ascend nearly to the tops, these tops being of course closed, so as to +prevent the escape of the steam. Through these pipes the steam descends +with its customary force, and is conducted by one main pipe all along +under the carriage to the end of the platform, which is, in point of +fact, the _water tank_, where it turns under till it reaches two +large branch pipes which communicate with the cylinders, from which the +pistons move and give motion to the machinery. The cranks of the axle +are thus set in action, and the rotatory movement is given to the +wheels. By the power thus engendered also a pump is worked, and which, +by means of a flexible hose, pumps the water into the boiler, keeping +the supply complete. The tank and furnace, it is calculated will hold +sufficient water and fuel for one hour's consumption, the former being +sixty gallons." + +The vehicle resembles the ordinary stage-coaches, but is rather larger +and higher. Coke or charcoal are to form the fuel, by which means smoke +will be avoided; the flues will be above the level of the seated +passenger, and it is calculated that the motion of the carriage will +always disperse the heated rarefied air from the flues. + +The present carriage would carry six inside and fifteen outside +passengers, independent of the guide, who is also the engineer. In front +of the coach is a very capacious boot; while behind, that which assumes +the appearance of a boot is the case for the boiler and the furnace. +The length of the vehicle, from end to end, is fifteen feet, and, with +the pole and pilot-wheels, twenty feet. The diameter of the hind wheels +is five feet; of the front wheels three feet nine inches; and of the +pilot-wheels three feet. There is a treble perch, by which the machinery +is supported, and beneath which two propellers, in going up a hill, may +be set in motion, somewhat similar to the action of a horse's legs under +similar circumstances. In descending a hill, there is a break fixed on +the hind wheel to increase the friction; but independent of this, the +guide has the power of lessening the force of the steam to any extent, +by means of the lever to his right hand, which operates upon, what is +called the _throttle valve_, and by which he may stop the action +of the steam altogether, and effect a counter vacuum in the cylinders. +By this means also he regulates the rate of progress on the road, going +at a pace of two miles or ten miles per hour, or even quicker if +necessary. There is another lever also by which he can stop the vehicle +_instanter_, and, in fact, in a moment reverse the motion of the +wheels, so as to prevent accident, as is the practice with the paddles +of steam-vessels. The guide, who sits in front, keeps the vehicle in its +proper course, by means of the pilot-wheels acting upon the pole, like +the handle of a garden-chair. + +The weight of the carriage and its apparatus is estimated at 1-1/2 tons, +and its wear and tear of the road, as compared with a carriage drawn by +four horses, is as one to six. When the carriage is in progress the +machinery is not heard, nor is there so much vibration as in an ordinary +vehicle, from the superior solidity of the structure. The engine has a +twelve-horse power, but may be increased to sixteen; while the actual +power in use, except in ascending a hill, is but eight-horse. + +The success of the present improved invention is stated to be decided; +but the public will shortly have an opportunity of judging for +themselves, as several experimental journeys are projected. If it should +attain its anticipated perfection, the contrivance will indeed be a +proud triumph of human ingenuity, which, aided by its economy, will +doubtless recommend it to universal patronage. Mr. Gurney has already +secured a patent for his invention; and he has our best wishes for his +permanent success. + + * * * * * + + +HISTORICAL FACTS RELATIVE TO THE EARLY CONDITION OF THE ENGLISH. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + +London, in early times (King Ethelred's reign) consisted only of +scattered buildings from Ludgate to Westminster, and none where the +heart of the city now is; it was afterwards extended more westward and +continued increasing---eastward being neglected until a more later +period. Who can view its present well constructed houses, its numerous +elegant squares and terraces, and its general superior appearance, +without almost doubting that the inhabitants of Britain once dwelt in +the most miserable habitations, regardless in every respect of comfort +and cleanliness. Indeed, at an early period we seem to have been in a +very wretched condition. Without carrying ourselves too far back, we +will look at the state of the English about the year 1520, (Henry the +Eighth's reign.) The houses were built entirely regardless of all that +health and comfort could suggest. The situation of the doors and windows +was never thought of, and the former only opened. The floors were made +either of clay, or sand, covered with rushes, which were very seldom +removed.[1] Some few houses were built of stone, but generally they were +composed of wood, coated over with _mud_, or cement, with straw or +reed roofs. Things seem to have been in no very enviable condition +during this reign. The laws were little obeyed; thefts and robbery were +frequent, for "22,000 criminals are said to have been executed by the +rigid justice of Henry VIII." + +It is not surprising that crime should have been great in this reign, +for Henry himself was not only guilty of many crimes, but patronised +vice in the regular system of bull and bear-baiting, particularly on +_Sundays_, about four in the afternoon, which exhibitions were +attended by great crowds of persons of all classes. The accommodations +of a royal establishment at this period are thus described:--"The +apartments at Hampton Court had been furnished on a particular occasion, +each with a candlestick, a basin, goblet and ewer of silver; yet the +furniture of Henry's chamber, independent of the bed and cupboard, +consisted only of a joint-stool, a pair of andirons, and a small mirror. +The halls and chambers of the wealthy were replenished with a cupboard, +long tables, or rather loose boards placed upon tressels, forms, a +chair, and a few joint-stools. Carpets were only employed to garnish +cupboards." The food in this reign appears to be in character with +everything else. From a household book of the Earl of Northumberland, +it appears that his family, during the winter, fed mostly on salt meat +and salt fish, with "an appointment of 160 gallons of mustard." On flesh +days through the year, _breakfast_ for my lord and _lady_ was +a loaf of bread, two manchets, a quart of beer, a quart of wine, half a +chine of mutton, or a chine of beef, boiled. The earl had only two cooks +to dress victuals for more than two hundred people. Hens, chickens, and +partridges, were reckoned delicacies, and were forbidden except at my +lord's table. + +This excessive love for eating was not, however, confined to Henry's +time, for about two centuries previous to this, (Edward III.) feasting +was endeavoured to be restrained by a law, though Edward himself did not +follow his own law, for when his "son, Lionel, of Clarence, married +Violentes, of Milant there were thirty courses, and the fragments fed +1,500 persons." + +The formation of London was but tardy and very irregular until the reign +of Henry VIII. at which time, some extensive buildings and improvements +were made. On the other hand, building seems at length to have gone on +too rapidly, and caused such alarm, that about a century after Henry's +reign, a proclamation was issued by James I. after mature deliberation, +forbidding all new buildings within ten miles of London; and commanding +if any were built after this they should be pulled down, though no +notice was taken of them for seven years. + +It is somewhat singular, that though the population in these early +days were but a handful in comparison to the present number, the +_redundancy_ of population was as bitterly complained of as it ever +has been in modern days. About thirty years after Henry's reign +(Elizabeth) we learn from one Harrison, who wrote in 1577, that "a great +number complain of the increase of povertie, laying the cause upon God, +as though he were in fault for sending such increase of people, or want +of wars that should consume them, affirming that the land was never +so full. Some affirming that youth by marrying too soon do nothing to +profit the countrie; but fill it full of beggars, to the hurte and utter +undooing, they say, of the common wealth. The better minded doo forsake +the realme for altogether, complaining of _no room to be left for them +at home_." If there was no room in Elizabeth's time, what must be our +present situation? Indeed the present crowded state of the metropolis, +and the general closeness of the buildings, has frequently been a +subject for regret, as tending to render it unhealthy and impure; but +on referring to its state, when in comparison it was but a village, the +old writers state that in the city, and all round it were a great number +of pits and ditches, and sloughs, which were made the receptacle of all +kind of filth, dead and putrid horses, and cattle, &c. In the time of +Henry VIII. many parts are described as "exceedingly foul and full of +pits and sloughs, and very noisome," and some years after (1625) in a +tract, the author says, "Let not carkasses of horses, dogs, cats, &c. +lye rotting and poisoning the aire, as they have done in _More_ and +_Finsbury_ Fields, and elsewhere round about the cittie. Let the +ditches towards Islington, Olde-street, and towards Shoreditch and +Whitechapel, be well cleansed." In another tract published in 1665, it +states, that "there are all sorts of unsavoury stenches, proceeding +either from carrion, ditches, rotten dung-hills, vaults, sinks, nasty +kennels, and streets, (strewed with all manner of filth) seldom +cleansed." From these statements it is evident that notwithstanding all +the present inconveniences that the inhabitants of London live in more +healthy situations now that they are surrounded by houses, than when +they were exposed to extensive open fields. + +A.B.C. + + + [1] It was reckoned an extraordinary luxury for Thomas a Becket to + have his parlour strewed every day with clean rushes. + + * * * * * + + +A PORTRAIT. + +_Sketched in the year of the world,_ 5831; _and, of my bachelorship_, 24. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + + Chaste, as the icicle, + That's curded by the frost from purer snow, + And hangs on Dian's temple; Dear--_old maid_. + +SHAKSPEARE'S _Coriolanus_. + + Sed mihi vel tellus optem prius ima dehiscat, + Vel Pater omnipotens adigat me fulmine ad umbras, + Pallentes umbras Erebi, noctemque profundum, + Ante, pudor, quam te violem, aut tua jure resolvam. + +VIRGIL. + + I have years on my back _forty-eight_, + +SHAKSPEARE'S _King Lear_. + + Four-and-twenty lap-dogs, all of a row, + Four-and-twenty monkeys, kits, and cats, dit-to; + Four-and-twenty colours in her tawdry dress, + (A rainbow she in all--but its loveliness!) + Four-and-twenty tempers, in the four-and-twenty hours; + Four-and-twenty dreams of _suppos'd_ vanquished pow'rs, + To wit of four-and-twenty swains--more or less; + Who have four-and-twenty times, curs'd her ugliness! + Four-and-twenty trials, ere as many hours are o'er, + Of four-and-twenty genera of rival Kalydor; + Four-and-twenty scentings with her dear bergamot, + Four-and-twenty daubs of her dear paint-pot; + Four-and-twenty visitings to four-and-twenty friends, + And four-and-twenty tales of 'em, before the day ends; + Of these said four-and-twenty tales just four-and-twenty versions, + And all of them of all the facts most farcica perversions. + Four-and-twenty false curls, * * + + * * * * * + + Four-and-twenty false teeth, and quite as false a tongue, + Which tells how virtuous was the world when--_she and it were young_. + Or rather for these thirty years has moralizing told, + How this good deed and that she'll do, _before_ she grows old: + Four-and-twenty sighs a-day, that our rude English sky + Is not _precise_ as _she_--and may wash off the dye + Meretricious of her cheeks, which are then like gold, + (Though _less tempting_;) _sweet_ and yellow as a marigold![2] + Four-and-twenty wailings o'er the wedded state, + Yet twice as many every day 'tis not _her_ fate; + Pretending to the world 'tis mere _choice_ that has led + To singleness--yet choosing all the while to be wed, + If any doting fool could be doting fool enough + To bid for such a breaking down piece of stuff; + For any such a winter, that has shed the flowers of spring, + Whose autumn too is flown; nor left its fruit or any thing! + + * * * * * + + Yes, _such_ are the marks deep branded on a class + Of busy blanks, non-entities, creation's very farce; + In _these_ scales then be every piece of Eve's flesh weighed, + Find _these_ criteria, and be sure you've found an--Ancient Maid! + +W. P----N. + + [2] So much for the "heinous crime of _self-painting_;" as Lord + Chesterfield says; in speaking of which, "It is even whispered + about the town, (he observes) of that excellent artist, + Mr. Liobard, that he lately refused a fine woman to draw her + picture, alleging that he never copied any body's works but his + own and God Almighty's!" + + * * * * * + + +ANECDOTES, ROYAL AND NOBLE. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + +_James the First._ + +Robert Cecil, great grandson to the first Earl of Salisbury, told Lord +Dartmouth that his ancestor, inquiring into the character of king James, +Bruce (his majesty's own ambassador) answered, "Ken ye a John Ape? en +I's have him, he'll bite _you_; en you's have him, he'll bite _me_." + + +_Sir Edward Seymour._ + +Speaker of the House of Commons, was one day coming to his duty, when +his coach happening to break down, he ordered the beadle to stop the +first gentleman's coach they met, and bring it to him. The owner felt +much surprised to be turned out of his own coach; but Sir Edward told +him it was much more proper for him to walk in the streets than the +speaker of the House of Commons; and accordingly left him to do so +without farther apology.--This arbitrary exercise of authority is +perhaps without a parallel. + + +_Henry the Fourth._ + +Of France used to say that a king should have the heart of a child +towards God, but the heart of a father towards his subjects. + + +_George the Third._ + +His late majesty was very partial to Mr. Carbonel, the wine-merchant, +and frequently admitted him to the royal hunts. Returning from the chase +one day, the king entered affably into conversation with his +wine-merchant, and rode with him side by side a considerable distance. +Lord Walsingham was in attendance, and watching an opportunity, called +Mr. C. aside, and whispered something to him. "What's that? what has +Walsingham been saying to you?" inquired the good-humoured monarch. +"I find, sire, I have been unintentionally guilty of disrespect by not +taking off my hat when I address your majesty; but you will please to +observe, that whenever I hunt my hat is fastened to my wig, and my wig +to my head; and as I am mounted on a very spirited horse, if any thing +goes off, we must all go off together." The king laughed heartily at +the whimsical apology. + + +_The Duke of Wellington._ + +A certain noble lord, who was the duke's aide-de-camp, visited his +grace early on the morning of the battle of Salamanca, and perceiving +him lying on a very small camp bedstead, observed, "that his grace had +not room to turn himself;" who immediately, in his usual characteristic +manner, rejoined, "When you have lived as long and seen so much as +I have, you will know, that when a general thinks of turning _in_ his +bed, it is full time to turn _out_." + + +_Rubens._ + +An artist named Brendel, possessed with the folly of the "philosopher's +stone," proposed to Rubens to join him in the discovery of that +mystery. He replied, "Your application is too late; for these twenty +years past my pencils and pallet have revealed to me the secret about +which you are so anxious." + + +_Queen Elizabeth._ + +When the ambassador of Henry IV. of France was in England, the queen +asked him one birth-night, which was attended by a splendid assembly of +the court, how he liked her ladies. Knowing her majesty was not averse +to flattery, he made the following elegant reply: "It is hard, madam, +to judge of _stars_ in the presence of the _sun_." + + +_Louis XIII._ + +Was remarkable in his youth for piety; entering a little village, +the better sort of inhabitants wished to attend him with a canopy. +He answered, "I hear you have no church here. I cannot suffer a canopy +of state to be borne over my head in a place where God hath not a +consecrated roof to dwell under." + + +_Sigismund._ + +Emperor of Germany, being once asked what was the surest method of +living happy in the world, replied, "By doing in health those good works +you promised to do on the bed of sickness." + +JACOBUS. + + * * * * * + + + + +ARCANA OF SCIENCE. + + * * * * * + + +_Thunder and Lightning._ + +Conductors affixed to houses should always be pointed, and the point +should be kept in a state of cleanliness, and the conductors should +terminate in a moist stratum of earth, or in London it might safely be +conveyed into the common sewer. It has been objected to the use of +pointed conductors, that we invite the lightning to the point; and that +is true to a certain extent, and in gunpowder mills the conductor should +be placed at some distance from the building. The conducting rod should +be of copper or iron, and from half to three-fourths of an inch in +diameter, so as not to be readily forced. Its upper end should be +elevated about three or four feet above the highest part of the +building, and all the metallic parts of the roof should be connected +with the rod, which should be continuous throughout. As regards the +question of what is the safest situation in a thunder-storm, we should +be pretty safe in the middle of a large room in bed; we should be pretty +safe among the feathers, which are bad conductors; but as the bell-wires +will conduct the electricity into the room, the bed should be removed +from them. It would be well to stand at a distance from the chimney on +a woollen rug, which is a non-conductor. When out of doors, I scarcely +need to say, that you should never stand under a tree; the tree being +moist, the electric fluid generally passes down between the bark and the +substance of the tree, splitting it in all directions, and the lightning +will pass to the best conductor near it; if any unfortunate animal +should happen to be under the tree, it will be killed. The safest plan +is to go toward the middle of the field, at a distance from any tree, +and to stretch yourself out upon the ground, although this is not a very +pleasant situation, especially in hard rain. During a thunder-storm, the +earth is in a state of electricity as well as the clouds, and the light +and heat which are produced at the explosion indicate the annihilation +of the two electricities. Sometimes the discharge is only from cloud to +cloud, sometimes from the earth to the clouds, and sometimes from the +clouds to the earth, as one or other may be in the positive or negative +state. The clouds are usually more or less electrical when the vapour, +floating about in the atmosphere, is condensed, and the earth being +brought into an opposite state of electricity by induction, a discharge +takes place, when the clouds approach within a certain distance, and +sometimes the electric cloud perches upon a hill, and then discharges +itself. The electricity passes through the clouds in a zig-zag +direction, and the undulation of the air which it produces is the cause +of the noise which we hear, called thunder, which is more or less +intense, and of longer or shorter duration, according to the quantity of +air acted upon, and the distance of the place where the report is heard +from the point of discharge. If the danger be great, we have seldom any +opportunity to count the time which elapses between the appearance of +the lightning and the report: electrical effects take place at no +sensible time; it has been found, that a discharge through a circuit of +four miles is instantaneous, whilst sound moves at the rate of about +twelve miles in a minute. So that, supposing the lightning to pass +through a space of some miles, the explosion will be first heard from +the point of the air agitated nearest to the spectator; it will +gradually come from the more remote parts of the course of the +electricity, and, last of all, will be heard from the very extremity; +and the different degrees of the agitation of the air, and the +difference of the distance, will account for the different intensities +of the sound, and its apparent reverberations and changes. If you can +count from two to three seconds between the appearance of the lightning +and the sound, there is seldom much danger; and when the interval is a +quarter of a minute, you are secure.--_Brande's Lectures.--Lancet._ + + +_New Crane._ + +A crane for raising weights, on an entirely new principle--that of the +application of the lever, assisted by wedges, instead of the usual +plan of wheel and pinion, for multiplying power--has recently been +constructed at the West India Docks. The power of two men, with the +patent crane, is stated to be capable of lifting from 2-1/2 to 3 times +the weight lifted through the same space in a given time, by the best +constructed cranes on the old principle of wheel machinery. + + +_Etching on Ivory_. + +The usual mode of ornamenting ivory in black, is to engrave the pattern +or design, and to fill up the cavities thus produced with hard black +varnish. Mr. Cathery has much improved and simplified the process, by +covering the ivory with engraver's varnish, and drawing the design with +an etching needle; he then pours on a menstruum, composed of 120 grains +of fine silver, dissolved in an ounce measure of nitric acid, and +diluted with one quart of pure distilled water. After half an hour, more +or less, according to the required depth of tint, the liquor is to be +poured off, and the surface is to be washed with distilled water, and +dried with blotting paper. It is then to be exposed to the light for +an hour, after, which the varnish may be removed by oil of turpentine. +The design will now appear permanently impressed on the ivory, and of +a black or blackish brown colour, which will come to its full tint after +exposure for a day or two to the light. Varieties of colour may be given +by substituting the salt of gold, platina, copper, &c. for the solution +of silver.--_Trans. of the Society of Arts._ + + +_Geology._ + +Among the fossil bones lately dug from under the lava of the mountain +of Boulade, in the neighbourhood of Issoire, in France, none have been +discovered belonging to the human body. The same is the case in the +other mountains of the vicinity. But, although there are no human bones, +in several places, and especially in the mountain of Boutaresa, (which +is not far from the mountain of Boulade,) pieces of wood have been +discovered, buried under the ancient lava, which observers worthy of +credit declare seem to have been fashioned by the hand of man, and to +have been cut with a hatchet, although rudely, and as might be expected +in the infancy of the arts. Did man exist then, at that remote period +when elephants, lions, and tapirs, lived in Europe, with rein-deer and +bears? This is an exceedingly difficult question, and one which hitherto +does not, by any means, appear to have been satisfactorily +resolved.--_New Monthly Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + + + +THE MONTHS. + +[Illustration: THE MONTHS. DECEMBER.] + + +The characteristics of November, for the most part, extend through the +present month. Wind, rain, and gloom are its attributes; the sun + + Scarce spreads through ether the dejected day, + Faint are his gleams, and ineffectual shoot + His struggling rays, in horizontal lines, + Through the thick air; as clothed in cloudy storm, + Weak, wan, and broad, he skirts the southern sky; + And soon descending, to the long dark night. + Wide-shading all, the prostrate world resigns. + + +Such is the gloomy picture of December, as drawn by the _poet of the +year_. + +To the contemplatist, and the man who has + + ----------No enemy, + But winter and rough weather, + +the rural walk at this season is equally inviting with any of its +predecessors; whilst he who can "suck melancholy from a song," will find +melody in its storms and music in its wind. What are more beautiful than +the fretwork frostings of rime and hoar spread on the hedges, glistening +in the broad sun-beam, and in brilliancy and variety of colours vying +with the richest display of oriental splendour--with here and there +berries clustering on evergreens, or pendent in solitary beauty, like +the "rich jewel in the Aethiop's ear." The winter stillness of animal +life is a sublime subject for our meditation. Insects which floated on +the gay sunshine of summer and autumn have now retired to their winter +quarters, there to remain dormant till regenerated in the enlivening +warmth of spring; and even the labours of husbandry are in a state of +torpidity. + +Within the circuit of gardens and shrubberies Nature, however, reserves +the evergreen pride of firs and pines; and even flowers are left to +gladden the eye of the winter observer; and the rose, that sweet emblem +of our fragile and transitory state, will live and prosper during this +month. In the forest, the oak, beech, and hornbeam in part retain their +leaves; there, too, is the endless variety of mosses, and lichens, and +ivy, spreading and clinging round aged trunks, as if to protect them +with their fond warmth, or mantling over the neglected labours of human +art, and mocking their proud import. + +At this season, too, the social economy of man is wont to ripen into +mirth; and in olden time, winter was the summer of hospitality, when the +sunshine of Christmas shed its holy light on the hearts and faces of +young and old. What the present generation have gained in head, they +have lost in heart, and Christmas is almost the only surviving holiday +of the calendar. But now, alas! "we live too late in time." + +If knowledge be valuable only in the proportion in which it conduces +to our happiness, then we have cause to deplore the loss of the +wassail-bowl, the sports and wrestlings of the town green, the evening +tales, and the elegant pastimes of masque, song, and dance, of our +ancestors, which the taste of our times has narrowed into a commercial +channel, or pared down to a few formal visits and their insipid returns; +and friends, families, and fortunes are often sacrificed in this +exchange. + +But there are minds so attuned as not to be shut out from + + "The gayest, happiest attitudes of things," + +nor to allow their social blaze to be darkened by such narrow conceits; +and for a picture of this portion of mankind, we quote Mr. Bucke's +_Harmonies_:-- + +"Awed by the progress of time, winter, ushered into existence by +the howling of storms, and the rushing of impetuous torrents, and +contemplating, with the satisfaction of a giant, the ruins of the year, +still affords ample food for enjoyments, which the vulgar never dream +of, if sympathy and association diffuse their attractive spells around +us! In the bosom of retirement, how delightful is it to feel exempt from +the mean intrigues, the endless difficulties and tumults, which active +life ensures, and which retirement enables us so well to contemplate +through the telescope of recollection. When seated by the cheerful +fire among friends, loving and beloved, our hopes, our wishes, and our +pleasures are concentrated; the soul seems imparadised in an enchanted +circle; and the world, vain, idle, and offensive as it is, presents +nothing to the judgment, and little to the imagination, that can induce +the enlightened or the good to regret, that the knowledge they possess +of it is chiefly from the report of others, or from the tumultuous +murmur, which from a distance invades the tranquillity of their retreat, +and operates as a discord in a soft sonata. These are the moments which +affect us more than all the harmony of Italy, or all the melody of +Scotland--moments, in which we appear almost to emulate the gods +in happiness." + +"Change," in the quaint language of Feltham, "is the great lord of +the universe, and Time is the agent which brings all things under his +dominion." This has been demonstrated through our past calendar of +monthly characteristics; to which are subjoined, from a still more +quaint authority than Feltham, said to be printed in the reign of +Henry VII., in a Sarum black-letter missal: + + +THE MONTHS MORALIZED. + +(_From our Correspondent, M.L.B._) + + + _Januarius._ + + The fyrst six yeres of mannesbyrth and aege + May well be compared to Janyere, + For in this moneth, is no strengeth nor courage + More than in a chylde of the aege of six yere. + + _Februarius._ + + The other six yeres is like February, + In the end thereof beguyneth (1) the Sprynge, + That tyme chyldren is moost asst and redy + To receyve chastysement, nurture and lernynge. + + _Martinus._ + + March betokeneth the six yeres followynge, + Arayeng the erthe with pleasaunt verdure; + That season youth thought for nothynge, + And wothout thought dooth his sporte and pleasure. + + _Aprilis._ + + The next six yere maketh four-and-twenty, + And figured is to jolly Aprill + That tyme of pleasures man hath most plenty + Fresh, and louying (2) his lustes tofulfyll. + + _Maius._ + + As in the moneth of Maye all thing in mygth (3) + So at thirty yeres man is in chief lyking, + Pleasaunt and lustie to every mannes sygth, (4) + In beauti and strengthe to women pleasynge. + + _Junius._ + + In June, all thyns falleth to rypenesse, + And so dooth man at Ihirty-six yere old, + And studyetli for to acquyre rychesse. + And taketh a wyfe, to keepe his householde. + + _Julius._ + + At forty yere of aege, or elles never + Is ony man endewed with wysdome + For than forgth (5) his mygth fayleth ever + As in July doth every blossome. + + _Augustus._ + + The goodes of the erthe is gadered evermore + In August, so at forty-eight yere + Man ought to gather some goodes in store + To susteyne aege that then draweth nere. + + _September._ + + Let no man thynke, for to gather plenty + Yf, at fifty-four yere he have none + No more than yf his barne were empty + In September when all the come is gone. + + _October._ + + By Octobre betokenyth sixty yere + That aege hastely dooth man assayle, + Yf he have outgh (6) than (7) it dooth appere + To lyve quyetly after his travayle. + + _November._ + + When man is at sixty-six yere olde + Which lykened is to bareyne Novembre + He waxeth unweldy, (8) sekely (9) and cold + Than (7) his soule helth is time to remember. + + _December._ + + The yere by Decembre takelh his ende, + And so dooth man at three-score and twelve, + Nature with aege wyll hym on message sende + Tho tyme is come that he must go hymselve. + + +_Glossary._ + +1. Beginneth. 3. Loving. 3. Might 4. Sight. 5. Waste or barren, applied +to mind. 6. Aught, anything. 7. Then. 8. Unwieldy. 9. Sickly. + + +A few words at parting, or rather in closing our calendar. Whilst we +have endeavoured to attract by the little emblematic display of art +at the head of each month, we have not neglected to direct the attention +of our readers to "the good in every thing" which is scattered through +each season of the year, by constantly recurring to the beneficence of +the OMNIPOTENT BEING--thus enabling them to look + + "Through Nature up to Nature's God." + + +Her study will moderate our joys and griefs, and enable us to carry the +principle of "good in every thing" into every relation of social life. +Let us learn to cherish in our remembrance that (in the language of the +sublime Sterne) "God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb;" and that the +storms of the world, like those of nature, will at length clear off, and +open to us a prospect unclouded and eternal. + + * * * * * + + + + +THE SKETCH-BOOK. + +No. LII. + + * * * * * + +THE UNKNOWN REGION. + +[For the following _Gulliverian_ sketch we are indebted to a lively +volume of whim, humour, and pleasant sentiment, entitled _Snatches +from Oblivion_: the work likewise contains some springy +versification.--Ed.] + + +An honourable member of a certain enlightened assembly, who had greatly +distinguished himself by his topographical ingenuity and taste for good +society, had, in the course of some statistical researches, discovered +a part of the globe hitherto unknown, called by the natives Russell +Square, and which was considered would be an important acquisition to +the English dominions. A council of state was called upon this occasion, +who, after six successive meetings, determined upon sending out an +expedition, at the head of which was the original discoverer, to +reconnoitre, and, if eligible, to take possession of the _terra +incognita_ in the name and behalf of the British crown. Unfortunately +I was myself at that time engaged in oddity-hunting in another part of +the world, and was consequently unable to join the adventurous party, +but have learned the whole particulars from the mouth of an intimate +friend, who formed a portion of it, and who obliged me with the tie of a +cravat of one of the extraordinary inhabitants of the soil. His relation +is to the following effect:-- + +"The conditions of our enterprise having been finally arranged, and +our instructions delivered, sealed by the Lords of the Admiralty, after +a few months' preparation we were enabled to commence our adventurous +career. Prayers having been put up for our safe return, our, wills +having been made, and, in case of our never returning from + + "'That undiscovered country (Russell Square), + From whence (it was dreaded) no traveller returns,' + + +"our property secured, as well as handsome annuities to our wives and +children, we embarked on board the Admiralty yacht from Whitehall +Stairs. Here a scene that would have melted the heart of a stoic took +place. The difficulties and horrors of our campaign, the melancholy +fates of Mungo Park, and Captains Cook and Bowditch, the agonizing +consequences of starvation, cannibalism, and vulgarity, which we were +likely to encounter in these unknown regions, were depicted in their +most vivid and powerful colours. But each of us was a Roman, a Columbus, +prepared to stand or fall in the service of his country. + +"The vessel left the shores amidst the tears, groans, and perfumed +handkerchiefs of the surrounding multitude; so heart-rending were +our _adieux_, that three officers of the guards, overcome by the +afflicting crisis, went into strong hysterics, and were obliged to have +their stay-laces cut. Standing on the poop of the vessel with a white +handkerchief in one glove, and a bottle of _Eau de Cologne_ in the +other, we waved farewell to our friends, and, as the last vestige of +their whiskers disappeared from our sight, a sad presentiment filled +our minds that it was for ever. Groups of beings, wearing the form and +countenances of men, though most barbarously disguised, occasionally +passed us in what we supposed to be canoes, saluting us in an unknown +and discordant tone. Our voyage concluded at a point which, we have +since been informed, was discovered by a noble lord in a sailing +expedition, where he was driven by adverse winds and tides, and baptized +by him 'Waterloo Bridge,' after a certain victory supposed to have been +obtained by the ancient Britons some time previous to the flood. Having +landed, we were immediately surrounded by a native tribe of a warlike +and barbarous aspect, being in almost a primitive dress, having only the +lower part of their persons covered. The appearance of their skin was +most remarkable; it was intersected by blue seams, as if nature had +supplied them with a shirt of her own formation--for not the slightest +appearance of muslin or cambric was visible. The name of this horde of +barbarism is, as we were afterwards informed, in their native +_patois_, Scullers, and from the circumstance of their appearing +peculiar to the river and its banks, the Professor of Natural History, +whom we carried with us, after an elaborate investigation, declared them +to be, peculiar to the soil, members of the animal kingdom, of a species +between the alligator and crocodile. + +"After reference to our geographical charts, we took our seats in +our stanhopes, being preceded by our travelling chariots, a detachment +of the Lancers, by way of security, two interpreters, a guide, and a +surgeon, in case of casualties. By the instructions of the guide we +steered in a direction N.E.E., and as we proceeded farther into the +country, the barbarity and uncivilization became more apparent. Crossing +a swamp called the _Strand_, we arrived at a native settlement called +Drury Lane, inhabited by a horde infinitely more barbarous and rude than +the tribe by which we were accosted on landing. The _indigites_ of +this soil, in ferocity of appearance, exceeded all our previous idea of +savage life. They are generally _tattooed_, but the crevices in +their skin, instead of variegated colours as the savages of the South +Seas, seemed to be filled up by a composition much resembling dirt. They +had, however, no tomahawks, nor implements of a warlike description, nor +were any of them dressed in skins; although some of them had the hide of +a beast hanging from their waist downwards, which appeared their only +covering, and we understand is called by them--_leathern apron_. + +"Passing by a native wigwam, which we found in our maps defined as +_Vinegar Yard_, we were surrounded by a motley and terrific group +of the inhabitants, both male and female. Of their sex we were in great +doubt, especially of those who carried on their heads a kind of wicker +basket, in which were a quantity of fish, of whose _genus_ our +naturalist declared himself perfectly ignorant. As we had often heard of +the simplicity of man when undefiled by a knowledge of the world, of his +hospitality, and his overflowing milk of human kindness, and feeling +besides exhausted from the length and difficulties of our journey, we +determined upon putting these fabled attributes to the proof. Holding +up his stick, as an emblem of peaceable intentions, and backed by the +Lancers, our interpreter advanced, and inquired for the hut of their +chief, and requested, as we were much exhausted, they would oblige us +with a small quantity of their ava, and a few of their native yams. As +they seemed unable to detect his meaning, which we endeavoured to make +more palpable, by all of us at the same time advancing, simultaneously +putting our fingers down our mouths, and rubbing our stomachs, in order +to have our urgent necessities immediately gratified. + +"Instead of our wants having been anticipated, as we had naturally +supposed, the whole tribe immediately set up a discordant yell. +Believing that we were still misunderstood, we resolved on asking for +food, and assuring them of our peaceable intentions in all the languages +we were masters of. One of the Lancers who had, during foreign service, +picked up a few expressions of the Cherokee Indians, and also a +knowledge of their habits, proposed addressing them. A consultation +being held, and the result being favourable, he advanced; and, in the +Cherokian language, asked for food, invoked at the same time the great +spirit, which he did by spitting on his hands (an Indian custom), and +holding up his right foot for the purpose of his auditor kissing it, as +a token of conciliation. The person whom he addressed, in an uncouth, +but certainly melodious language, answered in these words: + + "'Dom hew-er hies, gie us none o' hew-er-jaw.' + + +"Another, whom I had willingly entreated in my native tongue for a place +of shelter, answered in the following couplet, which convinced me of the +truth of the supposition of Mr. Thomas Campbell, the intended lecturer +of poetry to the London University, that mankind in an aboriginal state +is essentially poetical, and express their ideas either in rhythmical or +figurative language-- + + "'Hax hay-bout, + An find it hout.' + +"Others shouted with a peculiar strength of lungs, _Bedlam! Bedlam! +ha! ha!_ These words appeared to be instantly caught up by the +surrounding groups, and communicated like wild-fire, amongst the +different tribes, which by this time had increased to an alarming +magnitude. * * * + +"Arriving at a settlement, marked out in the maps as Great Russell +Street, the marks of civilization became more apparent, particularly +when we saw a native approaching in shoes, stockings, and a _bona +fide_ pair of breeches; but our surprise was increased on reaching +the place of our destination, 'Russell Square,' to find very few traces +of savage life, and a wigwam of considerable extent erected in close +imitation of our beloved and long-lost homes! + +"Having stopped at a house which had the appearance of being inhabited +by a civilized being, our interpreter, in the _patois_ of the country, +requested we might be admitted inside, for tire sole purpose of judging +of the manners and customs of foreign nations. The creature who received +our request was habited much after the same fashion as our footmen, +only the wretch, as if to put his uncivilization beyond a doubt, +actually wore white cotton stockings, and his hair without powder. +Being shown up stairs, we entered a room of considerable dimensions, +and our astonishment may be more easily conceived than expressed, on our +finding, instead of naked beings, squatted cross-legged on mats on the +floor, we found them decently attired, and sitting upright in most +Christian-like and indubitable chairs. The master of the house, a short, +fat, and, for a savage, an apparently inoffensive man, having by no +means a blood-thirsty appearance, made us welcome according to the +fashion of the country, which he did by the following ceremony:--Placing +himself about half a yard before us, with both sets of his toes so +drawn in as to nearly meet, one of his his hands being stuck where his +breeches pocket should be placed, he ducked his head and shoulders (as +if he would make a bow), at the same time drawing one of his feet from +the other, and scraping it on the floor; this accomplished, he resumed +his former position, muttered some unintelligible words, which sounded +like 'perdigiously happy,' tucked up the collar of his shirt (for the +wretch actually wore one), and stalked away. + +"It is needless to say that we were regarded with symptoms of infinite +astonishment by the natives, with whom the room was filled, and who +appeared to be mimicking the manners of civilized life, and often +calling out words, which we have since understood to be names of liquids +peculiar to the country, viz--'port,' 'sherry,' and 'lemonade.' Our +curiosity being amply gratified, the short fat native, who had first +addressed us, marched up to me, and to my indescribable alarm offered to +introduce me to his daughter, a young savage of about seventeen, who he +pointed out sitting in a nearly civilized attitude on a legitimate sofa. +Perceiving me shudder at the proposal, for I had heard that the New +Zealanders, and other barbarous tribes, sometimes eat their friends, as +well as their enemies, he inquired of me the cause, and fearful of the +consequence of exciting the anger of these savages while in their power, +I expressed my total willingness to the introduction, and declared that +my only objection was, lest she should scratch; upon his assuring me she +was perfectly tame. I consented to be led (though like a lamb to the +slaughter) to the couch, praying most fervently, though silently, she +would not make a meal of me. What was my horror when the short fat +gentleman addressed her with a horrid wink of the eye--'Poppett, as +I know you to be partial to these smart young fellows (Heavens! she was +then addicted to cannibalism), I have brought you one.' I heard no more, +but making up my mind I was to be served up for supper, flew with the +utmost' rapidity my stays would permit me, when my ears were electrified +at the sounds of Stultz and Nugee. I knew not how it was, but the hearing +of these words, surrounded as I was by doubt and danger, calmed at once +my agitated spirits, like some well-remembered air which we have heard +in our infancy, stealing over the waste of years and distance, I felt +completely overcome by my feelings. Home, and my native land, with a +thousand sweet associations of relatives, and all the charms of +friendship and love, seemed to accompany the sounds, and I gazed with +unqualified mildness on the innocent source of my happiness, who stood +gazing in simple wonder at my ill-suppressed surprise. I was nearly +fainting, and should have fallen, had it not been for a kind-hearted +squaw in a satin slip, and blond trimmings, bathing my temples with +a grateful distillation of otto of roses. The natural reserve of my +disposition having been overcome by the force of nature, I proposed to +our entertainer, if he would part with his daughter to take her back +with us, and make her a member of the civilized world. He shook his +head, and declared his inability to relinquish her; so great do we +find the force of parental affection even in savage life; but upon the +approach of his son, an eligible and ductile youth, with a promising +pair of whiskers, and irreproachable pantaloons, he consented to part +with him, declaring that next to his daughter he was the only solace of +his life. As the youth bore the name of his tribe, the semi-barbarous +cognomen of Simpson, he agreed to accept that of _Lee boo_, not +only as being more civilized, but expressive of his situation. As he +was of an ambitious nature, he had made, unknown to his parent, many +excursions towards the west; we therefore agreed to accept of him as our +guide; and we left our simple and promising friends with the assurance +of a speedy return: as a pledge, we exchanged one of our cravats, well +stiffened, and with the Petersham tie, for one of the collars worn by +the male, and a flounce of the she-savage's petticoats; promising also +to send them, on our arrival, a pattern of Lord H------h's beard, which +approached nearer to savage life than any other object we could think +of in the civilized world. + +"We reached Connaught Place without any accident, with the young +savage as a trophy, and received the most affectionate welcome on our +unexpected and safe return. Prayers were put up the following day at +most of the fashionable churches, and a solemn _te deum_ was +composed expressly for the occasion. The young savage has already +realized the expectation we formed of his docility and capacity; +already he speaks our language equal to a native--has run through the +whole of his property--keeps race-horses--and has an opera singer under +his protection--never pays a bill, and is admitted without a voucher +at every hell in the metropolis; has forgot his father's name, and +never hears the unknown region of 'Russell Square' mentioned, but he +in-quires--'if that is not the place where the people drink porter, +and don't wear shoes and stockings?'" + + * * * * * + + + + +SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS. + + * * * * * + + +THE DUST CART. + +Dust, than which nothing can, upon a superficial view, be considered +more insignificant, was, a few years back, of very considerable value, +far surpassing the value of many things acquired by difficulty and +danger, and for which the breadth of oceans are traversed, through +storms and tempests. Perhaps a cruise to the Gold Coast, with all its +drawbacks and contingencies, is scarcely so profitable as the returns on +the quantity of dust collected in the City of London, during the time +necessary for the voyage, and its accomplished return. About the period +I allude to, the parish of St. Luke received no less a sum than between +one and two thousand pounds a-year for dust collected, which, being +placed to the parish account, tended in a _great measure_ to keep +down the poor'-rates. In addition to its value, no kind of property is +better secured; as will be evinced, when the reader is informed that his +present Majesty, George IV., when he was Prince Regent, lost an action +for the recovery of the value of dust, carried away from the palace, by +his servants, to be used as manure. In order to a further illustration +of the subject, it is necessary to inform the reader, that what has +hitherto been considered is but a part of that incongruous combination, +the contents of a dust-cart--the very last residuum--the matter called +"brize;" previous to which, by the result of much labour, of picking, +raking, sorting, and sifting, a very pretty property is collected by the +various shareholders of this joint, stock company, as a recent case that +was brought forward at the Bow-street office will suffice to convince +us.[3] + +Perhaps the reader may have never witnessed the ejection of a +dust-cart: presuming he has not, I will endeavour to give him a general +outline of the ceremony; together with all the circumstances attending +it, and a sketch of the group and foreground. Suppose an eminence of +about five or six feet already collected, in a circular form; on the +heap is a man raking about, and a little child playing with a small +brown shaggy mongrel of a dog, with a community of pigs battening on +the acclivity; a youth below, with spade and axe, is supplying three +women with stuff--if women they may be called, who, of all the progeny +of old Mother Nox, seemed most the resemblances of age, misery, and +want; I say _seemed_, for when one was called--one of three--I +beheld, as she raised her dilapidated Dunstable, a face, where beams of +pensive beauty struggled through dusty darkness, and which mantled to a +smile at the sound of notes whistled to the tune of--"In Bunhill-row +there liv'd a Maid"--indicating the approach of Joe--for it was _his +cart:_--the dying cadence now gave way to the gee-up! uttered in deep +bass, accompanied with a smart smack of the whip, to urge the horse up +the ascent. Joe was a decent sort of boy enough for his avocation, not +to be ranked among those who "troop under the sooty flag of Acheron;" +but a clean, square-built fellow, with a broadish face and forehead, +blue eyes, nose rather short, expanded, and inclined upwards, and tinted +with that imperial hue that indicated his knowledge was not confined +to dry measure; this, with a mouth a little elongated, formed a +countenance, upon the whole, full of mirth and good-humour. This piece +of device was surmounted by a hat of the usual professional form--a +domed piece of felt, with a most prodigious margin: he wore a good stout +flannel jacket, and waistcoat; his shirt collar fastened by a leaden +brooch, in the shape of a heart, deviating from the general costume. +His continuations were of white drill; but, mark the vanity! short +enough to display a pair of hoppers, otherwise gaiters, of the same +material; these, with a stout pair of ancle-Johns, completed his +outward man of an order "simply Doric." + +At Joe's approach, all was stir and bustle; the pigs, to the third and +fourth generation, moved "in perfect phalanx," not "to the Dorian mood +of flutes and soft recorders," but to their own equally inspiring grunt; +varying from the shrill treble to the deep-toned bass. Jewler, too, ran +barking; but with less interested feelings; and his little patron ran +to take the whip. + +A few interrogatories on each side, a joke, and its accompanying laugh, +occupy brief space; when, suddenly, a general rush proclaims the load is +strewed upon the ground! a chaotic mass--"old hats, old wigs, old boots, +old shoes, and all the tribe of leather," remnants of all things, the +ends and the beginnings, horticultural fragments and broken crockery, +the hunter's bone and the beggar's rags, pilfered lace suspected, and +the stolen jewel, the lost gold, and the mislaid spoon: and, for a +climax, rejoice! gentle reader--for when the designs of the crafty are +defeated by inadvertence, or otherwise, with the weird sisters, "we +should rejoice! we should rejoice!"--a bill for fifteen pounds, drawn +by a lawyer for expenses, and which was taken to the acceptor by the +dustman, for which he received a considerate remuneration. Complicated +as this mass appears, it is all reduced to the most perfect order, and +each portion arranged according to the purposes intended for. Thus, the +vegetable matter, so eagerly seized upon by the pigs, contributes to +keep up a supply of _dairy-fed_ pork and _Epping sausages:_ +the bones are laid aside for the purposes of making hartshorn and +phosphorus, dominoes, and apple-scoops, &c. The old boots and shoes, +with the tribe of leather, after a slight examination of their utter +inefficiency, find their way, through divers passages to the glue-pot. +How fractured bottles, and broken glass of every description, is +disposed of, is easily _seen through_--to the furnace; and how the +old iron is appropriated, is not hard to guess. The old woollen, if +perchance any should exist in the shape of a pair of innominables, +after exploring the pockets, and a sigh for their insolvency, are +unceremoniously cast aside along with the worthless remains of rags of +every description, string, paper, &c. &c., to pass through the operation +necessary for making brown paper. What still remains, of coals, and +cinders unconsumed, the dustman's perquisite, are measured first, +"thence hurried back to fire:" the wood, the sifters take. Broken tiles, +bricks, delf, crockery, with a variety of substances and etceteras, go +towards the formation of roads. I had almost forgotten the crowning +item, viz. old wigs! Towards the close of the last century, so much were +they in request, that the supply was scarcely equal to the demand. Yes, +in the days of Beau Tibbs, every street had its corner and every corner +its shoe-black, and to every shoe-black might be traced an old wig, +sometimes _two_. In those days of ruffles and etiquette, when +a well-formed leg was advantageously displayed in _whole_ silk +stockings, shoes, and buckles, it was the custom with pedestrians, when +making a call, to have their shoes wiped and touched up at the corner +of the street nearest the place they were going to visit: and what so +efficient for the purpose as an old wig? nothing. But, alas! those days +are gone! and Beau Tibbs is gone! and, if we question where? only Echo +answers. But what becomes of the old wigs? is the question at issue. +Alas! again, such is the degeneracy of modern days, that, instead of +being used as an appendage to the toilet, though humble, I fear they +will be traced to the vulgar bricklayer and plasterer, to be mingled +with mortar, and "patch a wall, to expel the winter's flaw." Now, I +believe, every particle is accounted for; and any little article, in the +shape of a bijou, is the perquisite of those pickers-up of unconsidered +trifles, the sifters. + +_Monthly Magazine._ + + [3] It was a dispute between a dustman and a sifter, as to which had + the most rightful claim to a five-pound note, found in the ashes; + and certainly nothing could be more impartially decided; for + as their claims, or rather their non-claims, turned out to be + equal--that is, in point of law--it was retained by the presiding + magistrate in trust. In the course of the inquiry, it appeared + that the sifter had realized sufficient property to enable her to + be proprietress of three houses. + + * * * * * + + + + +THE SELECTOR, AND LITERARY NOTICES OF _NEW WORKS._ + + * * * * * + + +NAPOLEON'S DIVORCE. + +_Communication of his Intention to Josephine._ + +I was on duty at the Tuilleries from Monday, November 27; on that day, +the Tuesday and Wednesday following, it was easy for me to observe a +great alteration in the features of the empress, and a silent constraint +in Napoleon. If in the course of dinner he broke the silence, it was +to ask me some brief questions, to which he did not hear the reply. +On those days the dinner did not last for more than ten minutes. +The storm burst on Thursday the 30th. + +Their majesties went to table. Josephine wore a large white hat, tied +under her chin, and which concealed part of her face. I thought, +however, that I perceived she had been weeping, and that she then +restrained her tears with difficulty. She appeared to me the image of +grief and of despair. The most profound silence reigned throughout the +dinner; and they only touched the dishes which were presented to them +out of mere form. The only words uttered were those addressed to me by +Napoleon: "What o'clock is it?" In pronouncing them, he rose from table. +Josephine followed slowly. Coffee was served, and Napoleon took himself +the cup which was held by the page on duty, and gave the sign that he +wished to be alone. I immediately retired, but restless, and a prey to +my sad thoughts, I sat down in the attendance-room, which was commonly +used for their majesties to dine in, in an armchair, on the side of +which was the door to the emperor's room. I was mechanically watching +the servants who were clearing the table, when on a sudden I heard +violent cries from the empress Josephine issue from the emperor's +chamber. The usher of the chamber, thinking she was taken ill, was on +the point of opening the door, when I prevented him, observing, that +the emperor would call for assistance if he thought it necessary. I was +standing close to the door, when the emperor himself opened it, and +perceiving me, said quickly "Come in, Bausset, and shut the door." +I entered the chamber, and saw the empress Josephine stretched on the +carpet, uttering piercing cries and complaints. "No, I will never +survive it," said she. Napoleon said to me, "Are you sufficiently strong +to raise Josephine, and to carry her to her apartments by the private +staircase, in order that she may receive the care and assistance which +she requires?" I obeyed, and raised the princess, who, I thought, was +seized with a nervous affection. With the aid of Napoleon, I raised her +into my arms, and he himself taking a light from the table, opened the +door, which, by an obscure passage, led to the little staircase of +which he had spoken. When we reached the first step of the staircase, +I observed to Napoleon, that it was too narrow for it to be possible +for me to descend without the danger of falling. He forthwith called the +keeper of the portfolio, who day and night was in attendance at one of +the doors of his closet, the entrance to which was on the landing-place +of this little staircase. Napoleon gave him the light, of which we had +little need, for the passages had become light. He commanded the keeper +to go on before, and took himself the legs of Josephine in order to +assist me in descending with less difficulty. At one moment, however, +I was embarrassed by my sword, and I thought we must have fallen, but +fortunately we descended without any accident, and deposited the +precious burden on an ottoman in the sleeping-chamber. Napoleon +immediately pulled the little bell, and summoned the empress's women. +When I raised the empress in the chamber she ceased to moan, and I +thought that she had fainted; but at the time I was embarrassed by my +sword in the middle of the little staircase, of which I have already +spoken, I was obliged to hold her firmly to prevent a fall which would +have been dreadful to the actors in this melancholy scene. I held the +empress in my arms, which encircled her waist, her back rested against +my chest, and her hand leaned upon my right shoulder. When she felt the +efforts which I made to prevent falling, she said to me in a very low +tone, "You press me too hard." I then saw that I had nothing to fear for +her health, and that she had not for an instant lost her senses. During +the whole of this scene I was wholly occupied with Josephine, whose +situation afflicted me; I had not power to observe Napoleon; but when +the empress's women had come, he retired into a little room which +preceded the sleeping-chamber, and I followed him. His agitation, his +inquietude were extreme. In the distress which he felt he made me +acquainted with the cause of every thing that had happened, and said to +me these words:--"The interest of France and of my dynasty does violence +to my heart--the divorce has become a rigorous duty to me--I am the more +afflicted by what has happened to Josephine, because three days ago she +must have learned it from Hortensia--the unhappy obligation which +condemns me to separate myself from her--I deplore it with all my heart, +but I thought she possessed more strength of character, and I was not +prepared for the bursts of her grief." In fact, the emotion which +oppressed him, compelled him to make a long pause between each phrase he +uttered, in order to breathe. His words came from him with labour and +without connexion; his voice was tremulous and oppressed, and tears +moistened his eyes. It really seemed as if he were beside himself to +give so many details to me, who was so far removed from his councils and +his confidence. The whole of this transaction did not occupy more than +seven or eight minutes. Napoleon immediately went to seek for Corvisart, +queen Hortensia, Cambaceres, and Fouche; and before he returned to his +apartment, he assured himself of the condition of Josephine, whom he +found more calm and more resigned. I followed him, and after having +recovered my hat, which I had thrown on the carpet that my motions might +be more free, I retired to the attendance-chamber. To avoid all kinds of +commentaries, I said before the pages and the ushers that the empress +had been seized with a violent affection of the nerves. + +_Private Anecdotes of Foreign Courts._ + + * * * * * + + + + +THE GATHERER. + + +"I am but a _Gatherer_ and disposer of other men's +stuff."--_Wotton_. + + * * * * * + + +STORY OF CINDERELLA. + +The origin of this nursery tale is sufficiently curious. About the year +1730, a French actor of equal talent and wealth, named Thevenard, in +passing through the streets of Paris, observed upon a cobbler's stall, +the shoe of a female, which struck him by the remarkable smallness of +its size. After admiring it for some time, he returned to his house; +but his thoughts reverted to the shoe with such intensity, that he +reappeared at the stall the next day; but the cobbler could give him no +other clue to the owner, than that it had been left in his absence, for +the purpose of being repaired. Day after day did Thevenard return to his +post to watch the re-integration of the slipper, which proceeded slowly; +nor did the proprietor appear to claim it. Although he had completed +the sixtieth year of his age, so extravagant became his passion for the +unknown fair one, that he became (were it possible for a Frenchman of +that day to be so) melancholy and miserable. His pain was, however, +somewhat appeased by the avatar of the little foot itself, appertaining +to a pretty and youthful girl in the very humblest class of life. All +distinctions were levelled at once by love: the actor sought the parents +of the female, procured their consent to the match, and actually made +her his wife. + + * * * * * + + +DIVINE WORSHIP. + +When Archbishop Fenelon was Almoner to Louis XIV. his majesty +was astonished one Sunday to find, instead of the usual crowded +congregation, only himself and his attendants, the priest, and the +other officers of the chapel. "What is the meaning of this?" said the +king; the prelate answered, "I caused it to be given out, that your +majesty did not attend chapel to-day, in order that you might see, who +came here to worship God, and who to flatter the king." + + * * * * * + + +RUSTIC WIT. + +A poor man, having disposed of the letters of his name, according to +his own fancy, upon his tax-cart, was summoned for the offence, and for +turning the act of parliament into ridicule, by having the following +letters on his tax-cart:-- + + A MOST + ODD ACT + ON A TAX + CART. + + +The poor fellow observed he was no scholar, but his name was Amos Todd, +he lived at Acton, and he understood he was obliged to paint the +letters, "A Tax-Cart." + + * * * * * + + +PROMISES. + +A young fellow of the _Surface_ school was one day heard to boast +that from his continually breaking his promises made to his creditors, +they must imagine him to have been brought up in a court:--"Yes," +replied a byestander, "the Insolvent's Court." + +PHILO. + + * * * * * + +_LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS._ + +Now publishing in numbers, price 3d. each, Embellished with Engravings +on Steel. The BEAUTIES of SCOTT, forming the second of a Series of + +_ELEGANT EXTRACTS._ + +VOL. I. comprises The BEAUTIES of BYRON, embellished with Four +Engravings, price 3s. 6d. in boards, or half-bound, 4s. 6d. + +VOL. II. comprises The BEAUTIES of WAVERLEY, GUY MANNERING, and IVANHOE, +embellished with Engraving on Steel; price 3s. 6d. in boards, or +half-bound, 4s. 6d. + +"The BEAUTIES are selected with great skill, and a nice perception of +the excellencies of the author, and altogether compose a most attractive +volume."--_Weekly Times_. + +PLUTARCH'S LIVES, translated from the Original Greek, with Notes, +Critical and Historical, by Dr Langhorne, and William Langhorne, M.A. +In 73 Numbers at 2d. each, forming Two Volumes, price 13s in boards, +or 16s. half-bound, embellished with Fifty Portraits. + +COWPER'S POEMS complete in 12 Numbers, price 3d. each, in boards, 3s. +6d. or half-bound, 4s. 6d. With Eleven Engravings, and a Portrait on +Steel. + +The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS, Embellished with nearly 150 +Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. in boards, half-bound, 8s. + +The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s. + +COOK'S VOYAGES. Price only 7s. 6d. in boards, or half-bound 9s. + +The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD DISPLAYED. Price +5s. boards. + +The MICROCOSM. Price 2s. or in boards, 2s. 6d. By the Rt. Hon. G. +CANNING, M.P. and other Writers, with a Memoir and Two Portraits. + +GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d. + +DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d. + +BACON'S ESSAYS Price 8d. + +SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d. + + * * * * * + +Printed and Published by J. 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