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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Note-Book of Anton Chekhov, by Anton
+Pavlovich Chekhov, Translated by S. S. Koteliansky and Leonard Woolf
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Note-Book of Anton Chekhov
+
+Author: Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
+
+Release Date: June 2, 2004  [eBook #12494]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTE-BOOK OF ANTON CHEKHOV***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Leah Moser and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team from images provided by the Million Book Project
+
+
+
+NOTE-BOOK OF ANTON CHEKHOV
+
+Translated by S. S. KOTELIANSKY and LEONARD WOOLF
+
+1921
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+This volume consists of notes, themes, and sketches for works which
+Anton Chekhov intended to write, and are characteristic of the methods
+of his artistic production. Among his papers was found a series of
+sheets in a special cover with the inscription: "Themes, thoughts,
+notes, and fragments." Madame L.O. Knipper-Chekhov, Chekhov's wife,
+also possesses his note-book, in which he entered separate themes
+for his future work, quotations which he liked, etc. If he used any
+material, he used to strike it out in the note-book. The significance
+which Chekhov attributed to this material may be judged from the fact
+that he recopied most of it into a special copy book.
+
+
+
+
+ANTON CHEKHOV'S DIARY.
+
+1896
+
+
+My neighbor V.N.S. told me that his uncle Fet-Shenshin, the famous
+poet, when driving through the Mokhovaia Street, would invariably let
+down the window of his carriage and spit at the University. He would
+expectorate and spit: Bah! His coachman got so used to this that every
+time he drove past the University, he would stop.
+
+In January I was in Petersburg and stayed with Souvorin. I often
+saw Potapenko. Met Korolenko. I often went to the Maly Theatre.
+As Alexander [Chekhov's brother] came downstairs one day, B.V.G.
+simultaneously came out of the editorial office of the _Novoye
+Vremya_ and said to me indignantly: "Why do you set the old man
+(i.e. Souvorin) against Burenin?" I have never spoken ill of the
+contributors to the _Novoye Vremya_ in Souvorin's presence, although I
+have the deepest disrespect for the majority of them.
+
+In February, passing through Moscow, I went to see L.N. Tolstoi. He
+was irritated, made stinging remarks about the _decadents_, and for
+an hour and a half argued with B. Tchitcherin, who, I thought, talked
+nonsense all the time. Tatyana and Mary [Tolstoi's daughters] laid
+out a patience; they both wished, and asked me to pick a card out;
+I picked out the ace of spades separately for each of them, and that
+annoyed them. By accident there were two aces of spades in the pack.
+Both of them are extraordinarily sympathetic, and their attitude to
+their father is touching. The countess denounced the painter Ge all
+the evening. She too was irritated.
+
+May 5. The sexton Ivan Nicolayevitch brought my portrait, which he has
+painted from a photograph. In the evening V.N.S. brought his friend N.
+He is director of the Foreign Department ... editor of a magazine ...
+and doctor of medicine. He gives the impression of being an unusually
+stupid person and a reptile. He said: "There's nothing more pernicious
+on earth than a rascally liberal paper," and told us that, apparently,
+the peasants whom he doctors, having got his advice and medicine free
+of charge, ask him for a tip. He and S. speak of the peasants with
+exasperation and loathing.
+
+June 1. I was at the Vagankov Cemetery and saw the graves there of
+the victims of the Khodinka. [During the coronation of Nicholas II
+in Moscow hundreds of people were crushed to death in the Khodinka
+Fields.] I. Pavlovsky, the Paris correspondent of the _Novoye Vremya_,
+came with me to Melikhovo.
+
+August 4. Opening of the school in Talezh. The peasants of Talezh,
+Bershov, Doubechnia and Sholkovo presented me with four loaves, an
+icon and two silver salt-cellars. The Sholkovo peasant Postnov made a
+speech.
+
+N. stayed with me from the 15th to the 18th August. He has been
+forbidden [by the authorities] to publish anything: he speaks
+contemptuously now of the younger G., who said to the new Chief of
+the Central Press Bureau that he was not going to sacrifice his weekly
+_Nedelya_ for N.'s sake and that "We have always anticipated the
+wishes of the Censorship." In fine weather N. walks in goloshes, and
+carries an umbrella, so as not to die of sunstroke; he is afraid to
+wash in cold water, and complains of palpitations of the heart. From
+me he went on to L.N. Tolstoi.
+
+I left Taganrog on August 24. In Rostov I had supper with a
+school-friend, L. Volkenstein, the barrister, who has already a
+house in town and a villa in Kislovodsk [in the Caucasus]. I was in
+Nakhichevan--what a change! All the streets are lit by electric light.
+In Kislovodsk, at the funeral of General Safonov, I met A.I. Tchouprov
+[a famous economist], later I met A.N. Vesselovsky [litterateur] in
+the park. On the 28th I went on a hunting party with Baron Steingel,
+passed the night in Bermamut. It was cold with a violent wind.
+
+2 September in Novorissisk. Steamer _Alexander II_. On the 3rd I
+arrived at Feodossia and stopped with Souvorin. I saw I.K. Aivasovsky
+[famous painter] who said to me: "You no longer come to see me, an old
+man." In his opinion I ought to have paid him a visit. On the 16th in
+Kharkov, I was in the theatre at the performance of "The Dangers of
+Intelligence." 17th at home: wonderful weather.
+
+Vladimir Sloviov [famous philosopher] told me that he always carried
+an oak-gall in his trouser pocket,--in his opinion, it is a radical
+cure for piles.
+
+October 17. Performance of my "Seagull" at the Alexandrinsky Theatre.
+It was not a success.
+
+29th. I was at a meeting of the Zemstvo Council at Sezpukhovo.
+
+On the 10th November I had a letter from A.F. Koni who says he liked
+my "Seagull" very much.
+
+November 26th. A fire broke out in our house. Count S.I. Shakhovsky
+helped to put it out. When it was over, Sh. related that once, when
+a fire broke out in his house at night, he lifted a tank of water
+weighing 4-1/2 cwt. and poured the water on the flames.
+
+December 4. For the performance [of the "Seagull"] on the 17th October
+see "Theatral," No. 95, page 75. It is true that I fled from the
+theatre, but only when the play was over. In L.'s dressing-room during
+two or three acts. During the intervals there came to her officials of
+the State Theatres in uniform, wearing their orders, P.--with a Star;
+a handsome young official of the Department of the State Police also
+came to her. If a man takes up work which is alien to him, art for
+instance, then, since it is impossible for him to become an artist, he
+becomes an official. What a lot of people thus play the parasite round
+science, the theatre, the painting,--by putting on a uniform! Likewise
+the man to whom life is alien, who is incapable of living, nothing
+else remains for him, but to become an official. The fat actresses,
+who were in the dressing-room, made themselves pleasant to the
+officials--respectfully and flatteringly. (L. expressed her delight
+that P., so young, had already got the Star.) They were old,
+respectable house-keepers, serf-women, whom the masters honored with
+their presence.
+
+December 21. Levitan suffers from dilation of the aorta. He carries
+clay on his chest. He has superb studies for pictures, and a
+passionate thirst for life.
+
+December 31. P.I. Seryogin, the landscape painter, came.
+
+
+1897.
+
+From January 10 to February 3 busy with the census. I am enumerator
+of the 16th district, and have to instruct the other (fifteen)
+enumerators of our Bavykin Section. They all work superbly, except
+the priest of the Starospassky parish and the Government official,
+appointed to the Zemstvo, G., (who is in charge of the census
+district); he is away nearly all the time in Serpukhovo, spends every
+evening at the Club and keeps on wiring that he is not well. All the
+rest of the Government officials of our district are also said to do
+nothing.
+
+With such critics as we have, authors like N.S. Lyeskov and S.V.
+Maximov cannot be a success.
+
+Between "there is a God" and "there is no God" lies a whole vast
+tract, which the really wise man crosses with great effort. A Russian
+knows one or other of these two extremes, and the middle tract between
+them does not interest him; and therefore he usually knows nothing, or
+very little.
+
+The ease with which Jews change their religion is justified by many on
+the ground of indifference. But this is not a justification. One has
+to respect even one's indifference, and not change it for anything,
+since indifference in a decent man is also a religion.
+
+February 13. Dinner at Mme. Morosov's. Tchouprov, Sololevsky,
+Blaramberg, Sablin and myself were present.
+
+February 15. Pancakes at Soldatienkov's [a Moscow publisher]. Only
+Golziev [editor of _Russian Thought_] and myself were present. Many
+fine pictures, nearly all badly hung. After the pancakes we drove to
+Levitan, from whom Soldatienkov bought a picture and two studies for
+1,100 roubles. Met Polyenov [famous painter]. In the evening I was
+at professor Ostroumov's; he says that Levitan "can't help dying." O.
+himself is ill and obviously frightened.
+
+February 16. Several of us met in the evening in the offices of
+_Russian Thought_ to discuss the People's Theatre. Every one liked
+Shekhtel's plan.
+
+February 19. Dinner at the "Continental" to commemorate the
+great reform [the abolition of the serfdom in 1861]. Tedious and
+incongruous. To dine, drink champagne, make a racket, and deliver
+speeches about national consciousness, the conscience of the people,
+freedom, and such things, while slaves in tail-coats are running round
+your tables, veritable serfs, and your coachmen wait outside in the
+street, in the bitter cold--that is lying to the Holy Ghost.
+
+February 22. I went to Serpukhovo to an amateur performance in aid of
+the school at Novossiolki. As far as Zarizin I was accompanied by ... a
+little queen in exile,--an actress who imagines herself great;
+uneducated and a bit vulgar.
+
+From March 25 till April 10 I was laid up in Ostroumov's clinic.
+Haemorrhage. Creaking, moisture in the apices of both my lungs;
+congestion in the apex of the right. On March 28 L.N. Tolstoi came
+to see me. We spoke of immortality. I told him the gist of Nossilov's
+story "The Theatre of the Voguls," and he evidently listened with
+great pleasure.
+
+May 1. N. arrived. He is always thanking you for tea and dinner,
+apologizing, afraid of being late for the train; he talks a great
+deal, keeps mentioning his wife, like Gogol's Mijniev, pushes the
+proofs of his play over to you, first one sheet then another, giggles,
+attacks Menshikov, whom Tolstoi has "swallowed"; assures you that he
+would shoot Stassiulevitch, if the latter were to show himself at a
+review, as President of the Russian Republic; giggles again, wets his
+mustaches with the soup, eats hardly anything, and yet is quite a nice
+man after all.
+
+May 4. The monks from the monastery paid us a visit. Dasha
+Moussin-Poushkin, the wife of the engineer Gliebov, who has been
+killed hunting, was there. She sang a great deal.
+
+May 24. I was present at the examination of two schools in Tchirkov.
+[The Tchirkov and Mikhailovo schools.]
+
+July 13. Opening of the school at Novossiolki which I have had built.
+The peasants gave me an icon with an inscription. The Zemstvo people
+were absent.
+
+Braz [painter] does my portrait (for the Tretiakov Gallery). Two
+sittings a day.
+
+July 22. I received a medal for my work on the census.
+
+July 23. In Petersburg. Stopped at Souvorin's, in the drawing-room.
+Met VI. T.... who complained of his hysteria and praised his own
+books. I saw P. Gnyeditch and E. Karpov, who imitated Leykin showing
+off as a Spanish grandee.
+
+July 27. At Leykin's at Ivanovsk. 28th in Moscow. In the editorial
+offices of _Russian Thought_, bugs in the sofa.
+
+September 4. Arrived in Paris. "Moulin Rouge," danse du ventre, Cafe
+du Neon with Coffins, Cafe du Ciel, etc.
+
+September 8. In Biarritz. V.M. Sobolevsky and Mme. V.A. Morosov are
+here. Every Russian in Biarritz complains of the number of Russians
+here.
+
+September 14. Bayonne. Grande course landoise. Bull-fight.
+
+September 22. From Biarritz to Nice via Toulouse.
+
+September 23. Nice. I settled into the Pension Russe. Met Maxim
+Kovalevsky; lunched at his house at Beaulieu, with N.I. Yurassov and
+Yakobi, the artist. In Monte Carlo.
+
+October 7. Confession of a spy.
+
+October 9. I saw B.'s mother playing roulette. Unpleasant sight.
+
+November 15. Monte Carlo. I saw how the croupier stole a louis d'or.
+
+
+1898.
+
+April 16. In Paris. Acquaintance with M.M. Antokolsky [sculptor] and
+negotiations for a statue of Peter the Great.
+
+May 5. Returned home.
+
+May 26. Sobolevsky came to Melikhovo. Must put down the fact that,
+in Paris, in spite of the rain and cold, I spent two or three weeks
+without being bored. Arrived here with M. Kovalevsky. Many interesting
+acquaintances: Paul Boyer, Art Roe, Bonnie, M. Dreyfus, De Roberti,
+Waliczewsky, Onieguin. Luncheons and dinners, at I.I. Schoukin's
+house. Left by Nord-express for Petersburg, whence to Moscow. At home,
+found wonderful weather.
+
+An example of clerical boorishness. At a dinner party the critic
+Protopopov came up to M. Kovalevsky, clinked glasses and said: "I
+drink to science, so long as it does no harm to the people."
+
+
+1901.
+
+September 12. I was at L. Tolstoi's.
+
+December 7. Talked to L. Tolstoi over the telephone.
+
+
+1903.
+
+January 8. "Istorichesky Vestnik," November 1902, "The Artistic Life
+of Moscow in the Seventies," by I.N. Zakharin. It is said in that
+article that I sent in my "Three Sisters" to the Theatrical and
+Literary Committee. It is not true.
+
+
+
+
+ANTON CHEKHOV'S NOTE-BOOKS
+
+(1892-1904)
+
+
+Mankind has conceived history as a series of battles; hitherto it has
+considered fighting as the main thing in life.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Solomon made a great mistake when he asked for wisdom.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: Among Chekhov's papers the following monologue was found,
+written in his own hand:
+
+_Solomon_ (alone): Oh! how dark is life! No night, when I was a child,
+so terrified me by its darkness as does my invisible existence. Lord,
+to David my father thou gavest only the gift of harmonizing words and
+sounds, to sing and praise thee on strings, to lament sweetly, to make
+people weep or admire beauty; but why hast thou given me a meditative,
+sleepless, hungry mind? Like an insect born of the dust, I hide in
+darkness; and in fear and despair, all shaking and shivering, I see
+and hear in everything an invisible mystery. Why this morning? Why
+does the sun come out from behind the temple and gild the palm tree?
+Why this beauty of women? Where does the bird hurry, what is the
+meaning of its flight, if it and its young and the place to which it
+hastens will, like myself, turn to dust? It were better I had never
+been born or were a stone, to which God has given neither eyes
+nor thoughts. In order to tire out my body by nightfall, all day
+yesterday, like a mere workman I carried marble to the temple; but
+now the night has come and I cannot sleep ... I'll go and lie down.
+Phorses told me that if one imagines a flock of sheep running and
+fixes one's attention upon it, the mind gets confused and one falls
+asleep, I'll do it ...(exit).]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ordinary hypocrites pretend to be doves; political and literary
+hypocrites pretend to be eagles. But don't be disconcerted by their
+aquiline appearance. They are not eagles, but rats or dogs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Those who are more stupid and more dirty than we are called the
+people. The administration classifies the population into taxpayers
+and non-taxpayers. But neither classification will do; we are all the
+people and all the best we are doing is the people's work.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If the Prince of Monaco has a roulette table, surely convicts may play
+at cards.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Iv. (Chekhov's brother Ivan) could philosophize about love, but he
+could not love.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Aliosha_: "My mind, mother, is weakened by illness and I am now like
+a child: now I pray to God, now I cry, now I am happy."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Why did Hamlet trouble about ghosts after death, when life itself is
+haunted by ghosts so much more terrible?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Daughter_: "Felt boots are not the correct thing."
+
+_Father_: "Yes they are clumsy, I'll have to get leather ones." The
+father fell ill and his deportation to Siberia was postponed.
+
+_Daughter_: "You are not at all ill, father. Look, you have your coat
+and boots on...."
+
+_Father_: "I long to be exiled to Siberia. One could sit somewhere by
+the Yenissey or Obi river and fish, and on the ferry there would be
+nice little convicts, emigrants.... Here I hate everything: this lilac
+tree in front of the window, these gravel paths...."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A bedroom. The light of the moon shines so brightly through the window
+that even the buttons on his night shirt are visible.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A nice man would feel ashamed even before a dog....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A certain Councillor of State, looking at a beautiful landscape, said:
+"What a marvelous function of nature!" From the note-book of an old
+dog: "People don't eat slops and bones which the cooks throw away.
+Fools!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He had nothing in his soul except recollections of his schooldays.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The French say: "Laid comme un chenille"--as ugly as a caterpillar.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+People are bachelors or old maids because they rouse no interest, not
+even a physical one.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The children growing up talked at meals about religion and laughed
+at fasts, monks, etc. The old mother at first lost her temper, then,
+evidently getting used to it, only smiled, but at last she told
+the children that they had convinced her, that she is now of their
+opinion. The children felt awkward and could not imagine what their
+old mother would do without her religion.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There is no national science, just as there is no national
+multiplication table; what is national is no longer science.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The dog walked in the street and was ashamed of its crooked legs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The difference between man and woman: a woman, as she grows old gives
+herself up more and more to female affairs; a man, as he grows old,
+withdraws himself more and more from female affairs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+That sudden and ill-timed love-affair may be compared to this: you
+take boys somewhere for a walk; the walk is jolly and interesting--and
+suddenly one of them gorges himself with oil paint.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The character in the play says to every one: "You've got worms." He
+cures his daughter of the worms, and she turns yellow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A scholar, without talent, a blockhead, worked for twenty-four years
+and produced nothing good, gave the world only scholars as untalented
+and as narrow-minded as himself. At night he secretly bound
+books--that was his true vocation: in that he was an artist and felt
+the joy of it. There came to him a bookbinder, who loved learning and
+studied secretly at night.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+But perhaps the universe is suspended on the tooth of some monster.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Keep to the right, you of the yellow eye!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Do you want to eat? No, on the contrary.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A pregnant woman with short arms and a long neck, like a kangaroo.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+How pleasant it is to respect people! When I see books, I am not
+concerned with how the authors loved or played cards; I see only their
+marvelous works.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+To demand that the woman one loves should be pure is egotistical: to
+look for that in a woman which I have not got myself is not love, but
+worship, since one ought to love one's equals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The so-called pure childlike joy of life is animal joy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I cannot bear the crying of children, but when my child cries, I don't
+hear.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A schoolboy treats a lady to dinner in a restaurant. He has only one
+rouble, twenty kopecks. The bill comes to four roubles thirty kopecks.
+He has no money and begins to cry. The proprietor boxes his ears. He
+was talking to the lady about Abyssinia.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man, who, to judge from his appearance, loves nothing but sausages
+and sauerkraut.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+We judge human activities by their goal; that activity is great of
+which the goal is great.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+You drive on the Nevski, you look to the left on the Haymarket;
+the clouds are the color of smoke, the ball of the setting sun
+purple--Dante's hell!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+His income is twenty-five to fifty thousand, and yet out of poverty he
+shoots himself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Terrible poverty, desperate situation. The mother a widow, her
+daughter a very ugly girl. At last the mother takes courage and
+advises the daughter to go on the streets. She herself when young went
+on the streets without her husband's knowledge in order to get money
+for her dresses; she has some experience. She instructs her daughter.
+The latter goes out, walks all night; not a single man takes her; she
+is ugly. A couple of days later, three young rascals on the boulevard
+take her. She brought home a note which turned out to be a lottery
+ticket no longer valid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Two wives: one in Petersburg, the other in Kertch. Constant rows,
+threats, telegrams. They nearly reduce him to suicide. At last
+he finds a way: he settles them both in the same house. They are
+perplexed, petrified; they grow silent and quiet down.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+His character is so undeveloped that one can hardly believe that he
+has been to the University.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+And I dreamt that, as it were, what I considered reality was a dream,
+and the dream was reality.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I observed that after marriage people cease to be curious.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It usually takes as much time to feel happy as to wind up one's watch.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A dirty tavern near the station. And in every tavern like that you
+will find salted white sturgeon with horse radish. What a lot of
+sturgeon must be salted in Russia!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z. goes on Sundays to the Sukharevka (a market-place in Moscow) to
+look for books; he finds a book, written by his father, with the
+inscription: "To darling Nadya from the author."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Government official wears on his chest the portrait of the
+Governor's wife; he feeds a turkey on nuts and makes her a present of
+it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One should be mentally clear, morally pure, and physically tidy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It was said of a certain lady that she had a cat's factory; her lover
+tortured the cats by treading on their tails.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An officer and his wife went to the baths together, and both were
+bathed by the orderly, whom they evidently did not consider a man.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"And now he appeared with all his decorations."
+
+"And what decorations has he got?"
+
+"He has a bronze medal for the census of 1897."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A government clerk gave his son a thrashing because he had only
+obtained five marks in all his subjects at school. It seemed to him
+not good enough. When he was told that he was in the wrong, that five
+is the highest mark obtainable, he thrashed his son again--out of
+vexation with himself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A very good man has such a face that people take him for a detective;
+he is suspected of having stolen shirt-studs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A serious phlegmatic doctor fell in love with a girl who danced very
+well, and, to please her, he started to learn a mazurka.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The hen sparrow believes that her cock sparrow is not chirping but
+singing beautifully.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When one is peacefully at home, life seems ordinary, but as soon as
+one walks into the street and begins to observe, to question women,
+for instance, then life becomes terrible. The neighborhood of
+Patriarshi Prudy (a park and street in Moscow) looks quiet and
+peaceful, but in reality life there is hell.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+These red-faced young and old women are so healthy that steam seems to
+exhale from them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The estate will soon be brought under the hammer; there is poverty all
+round; and the footmen are still dressed like jesters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There has been an increase not in the number of nervous diseases and
+nervous patients, but in the number of doctors able to study those
+diseases.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The more refined the more unhappy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Life does not agree with philosophy: there is no happiness which is
+not idleness and only the useless is pleasurable.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The grandfather is given fish to eat, and if it does not poison him
+and he remains alive, then all the family eat it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A correspondence. A young man dreams of devoting himself to literature
+and constantly writes to his father about it; at last he gives up
+the civil service, goes to Petersburg, and devotes himself to
+literature--he becomes a censor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+First class sleeping car. Passengers numbers 6, 7, 8 and 9. They
+discuss daughters-in-law. Simple people suffer from mothers-in-law,
+intellectuals from daughters-in-law.
+
+"My elder son's wife is educated, arranges Sunday schools and
+libraries, but she is tactless, cruel, capricious, and physically
+revolting. At dinner she will suddenly go off into sham hysterics
+because of some article in the newspaper. An affected thing." Another
+daughter-in-law: "In society she behaves passably, but at home she
+is a dolt, smokes, is miserly, and when she drinks tea, she keeps the
+sugar between her lips and teeth and speaks at the same time."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Miss Mieschankina.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the servants' quarters Roman, a more or less dissolute peasant,
+thinks it his duty to look after the morals of the women servants.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A large fat barmaid--a cross between a pig and white sturgeon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At Malo-Bronnaya (a street in Moscow). A little girl who has never
+been in the country feels it and raves about it, speaks about
+jackdaws, crows and colts, imagining parks and birds on trees.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Two young officers in stays.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A certain captain taught his daughter the art of fortification.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+New literary forms always produce new forms of life and that is why
+they are so revolting to the conservative human mind.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A neurasthenic undergraduate comes home to a lonely country-house,
+reads French monologues, and finds them stupid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+People love talking of their diseases, although they are the most
+uninteresting things in their lives.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An official, who wore the portrait of the Governor's wife, lent money
+on interest; he secretly becomes rich. The late Governor's wife, whose
+portrait he has worn for fourteen years, now lives in a suburb, a poor
+widow; her son gets into trouble and she needs 4,000 roubles. She goes
+to the official, and he listens to her with a bored look and says: "I
+can't do anything for you, my lady."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Women deprived of the company of men pine, men deprived of the company
+of women become stupid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A sick innkeeper said to the doctor: "If I get ill, then for the love
+of God come without waiting for a summons. My sister will never
+call you in, whatever happens; she is a miser, and your fee is three
+roubles a visit." A month or two later the doctor heard that the
+innkeeper was seriously ill, and while he was making his preparations
+to go and see him, he received a letter from the sister saying: "My
+brother is dead." Five days later the doctor happened to go to the
+village and was told there that the innkeeper had died that morning.
+Disgusted he went to the inn. The sister dressed in black stood in the
+corner reading a psalm book. The doctor began to upbraid her for her
+stinginess and cruelty. The sister went on reading the psalms, but
+between every two sentences she stopped to quarrel with him--"Lots
+of your like running about here.... The devils brought you here." She
+belongs to the old faith, hates passionately and swears desperately.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The new governor made a speech to his clerks. He called the merchants
+together--another speech. At the annual prize-giving of the
+secondary school for girls--a speech on true enlightenment. To the
+representatives of the press a speech. He called the Jews together:
+"Jews, I have summoned you." ... A month or two passes--he does
+nothing. Again he calls the merchants together--a speech. Again the
+Jews: "Jews, I have summoned you."... He has wearied them all. At last
+he says to his Chancellor: "No, the work is too much for me, I shall
+have to resign."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A student at a village theological school was learning Latin by heart.
+Every half-hour he runs down to the maids' room and, closing his eyes,
+feels and pinches them; they scream and giggle; he returns to his book
+again. He calls it "refreshing oneself."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Governor's wife invited an official, who had a thin voice and
+was her adorer, to have a cup of chocolate with her, and for a week
+afterwards he was in bliss. He had saved money and lent it but not on
+interest. "I can't lend you any, your son-in-law would gamble it away.
+No, I can't." The son-in-law is the husband of the daughter who once
+sat in a box in a boa; he lost at cards and embezzled Government
+money. The official, who was accustomed to herring and vodka, and who
+had never before drunk chocolate, felt sick after the chocolate. The
+expression on the lady's face: "Aren't I a darling?"; she spent any
+amount of money on dresses and looked forward to making a display of
+them--so she gave parties.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Going to Paris with one's wife is like going to Tula[1] with one's
+samovar.
+
+[Footnote 1: Tula is a Russian city where samovars are manufactured.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The young do not go in for literature, because the best of them work
+on steam engines, in factories, in industrial undertakings. All of
+them have now gone into industry, and industry is making enormous
+progress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Families where the woman is bourgeoise easily breed adventurers,
+swindlers, and brutes without ideals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A professor's opinion: not Shakespeare, but the commentaries on him
+are the thing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Let the coming generation attain happiness; but they surely ought to
+ask themselves, for what did their ancestors live and for what did
+they suffer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Love, friendship, respect do not unite people as much as common hatred
+for something.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+13th December. I saw the owner of a mill, the mother of a family, a
+rich Russian woman, who has never seen a lilac bush in Russia.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In a letter: "A Russian abroad, if not a spy, is a fool." The neighbor
+goes to Florence to cure himself of love, but at a distance his love
+grows stronger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Yalta. A young man, interesting, liked by a lady of forty. He is
+indifferent to her, avoids her. She suffers and at last, out of spite,
+gets up a scandal about him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Pete's mother even in her old age beaded her eyes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Viciousness is a bag with which man is born.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+B. said seriously that he is the Russian Maupassant. And so did S.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Jewish surname: Cap.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A lady looking like a fish standing on its head; her mouth like a
+slit, one longs to put a penny in it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Russians abroad: the men love Russia passionately, but the women don't
+like her and soon forget her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Chemist Propter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Rosalie Ossipovna Aromat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is easier to ask of the poor than of the rich.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+And she began to engage in prostitution, got used to sleeping on the
+bed, while her aunt, fallen into poverty, used to lie on the little
+carpet by her side and jumped up each time the bell rang; when they
+left, she would say mindingly, with a pathetic grimace; "Something for
+the chamber-maid." And they would tip her sixpence.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Prostitutes in Monte Carlo, the whole tone is prostitutional; the palm
+trees, it seems, are prostitutes, and the chickens are prostitutes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A big dolt, Z., a qualified nurse, of the Petersburg Rozhdestvensky
+School, having ideals, fell in love with X., a teacher, and believed
+him to be ideal, a public spirited worker after the manner of novels
+and stories of which she was so fond. Little by little she found
+him out, a drunkard, an idler, good-natured and not very clever.
+Dismissed, he began to live on his wife, sponged on her. He was an
+excrescence, a kind of sarcoma, who wasted her completely. She was
+once engaged to attend some intellectual country people, she went to
+them every day; they felt it awkward to give her money--and, to her
+great vexation, gave her husband a suit as a present. He would drink
+tea for hours and this infuriated her. Living with her husband she
+grew thin, ugly, spiteful, stamped her foot and shouted at him: "Leave
+me, you low fellow." She hated him. She worked, and people paid the
+money to him, for, being a Zemstvo worker, she took no money, and it
+enraged her that their friends did not understand him and thought him
+ideal.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A young man made a million marks, lay down on them, and shot himself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"That woman." ... "I married when I was twenty; I have not drunk a
+glass of vodka all my life, haven't smoked a single cigarette." After
+he had run off with another woman, people got to like him more and
+to believe him more, and, when he walked in the street, he began to
+notice that they had all become kinder and nicer to him--because he
+had fallen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man and woman marry because both of them don't know what to do with
+themselves.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The power and salvation of a people lie in its intellegentsia, in the
+intellectuals who think honestly, feel, and can work.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man without a mustache is like a woman with a mustache.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man who cannot win a woman by a kiss will not win her by a blow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For one sensible person there are a thousand fools, and for one
+sensible word there are a thousand stupid ones; the thousand
+overwhelms the one, and that is why cities and villages progress so
+slowly. The majority, the mass, always remain stupid; it will always
+overwhelm; the sensible man should give up hope of educating and
+lifting it up to himself; he had better call in the assistance of
+material force, build railways, telegraphs, telephones--in that way he
+will conquer and help life forward.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Really decent people are only to be found amongst men who have
+definite, either conservative or radical, convictions; so-called
+moderate men are much inclined to rewards, commissions, orders,
+promotions.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"What did your uncle die of?"
+
+"Instead of fifteen Botkin drops,[1] as the doctor prescribed, he took
+sixteen."
+
+[Footnote 1: A very harmless purgative.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A young philologist, who has just left the University, comes home to
+his native town. He is elected churchwarden. He does not believe in
+God, but goes to church regularly, makes the sign of the cross when
+passing near a church or chapel, thinking that that sort of thing is
+necessary for the people and that the salvation of Russia is bound up
+with it. He is elected chairman of the Zemstvo board and a Justice of
+the Peace, he wins orders and medals; he does not notice that he has
+reached the age of forty-five; then suddenly he realizes that all the
+time he has been acting and making a fool of himself, but it is now
+too late to change his way of life. Once in his sleep he suddenly
+hears like the report of a gun the words: "What are you doing?"--and
+he starts up all in a sweat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One cannot resist evil, but one can resist good.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He flatters the authorities like a priest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Instead of sheets--dirty tablecloths.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Jewish surname: Perchik (little pepper).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man in conversation: "And all the rest of it."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A rich man, usually insolent, his conceit enormous, but bears his
+riches like a cross. If the ladies and generals did not dispense
+charity on his account, if it were not for the poor students and
+the beggars, he would feel the anguish of loneliness. If the beggars
+struck and agreed not to beg from him, he would go to them himself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The husband invites his friends to his country-house in the Crimea,
+and afterwards his wife, without her husband's knowledge, brings them
+the bill and is paid for board and lodging.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Potapov becomes attached to the brother, and this is the beginning of
+his falling in love with the sister. Divorces his wife. Afterwards the
+son sends him plans for a rabbit-hutch.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"I have sown clover and oats."'
+
+"No good; you had much better sow lucerne."
+
+"I have begun to keep a pig."
+
+"No good. It does not pay. You had better go in for mares."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A girl, a devoted friend, out of the best of motives, went about with
+a subscription list for X., who was not in want.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Why are the dogs of Constantinople so often described?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Disease: "He has got hydropathy."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I visit a friend, find him at supper; there are many guests. It
+is very gay; I am glad to chatter with the women and drink wine.
+A wonderfully pleasant mood. Suddenly up gets N. with an air of
+importance, as though he were a public prosecutor, and makes a speech
+in my honor. "The magician of words ... ideals ... in our time when
+ideals grow dim ... you are sowing wisdom, undying things...." I feel
+as if I had had a cover over me and that now the cover had been taken
+off and some one was aiming a pistol at me.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+After the speech--a murmur of conversation, then silence. The gayety
+has gone. "You must speak now," says my neighbor. But what can I say?
+I would gladly throw the bottle at him. And I go to bed with some
+sediment in my soul. "Look what a fool sits among you!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The maid, when she makes the bed, always puts the slippers under the
+bed close to the wall. The fat master, unable to bear it any longer,
+gives the maid notice. It turns out that the doctor told her to put
+the slippers as far as possible under the bed so as to cure the man of
+his obesity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The club blackballed a respectable man because all of the members were
+out of humor; they ruined his prospects.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A large factory. The young employer plays the superior to all and is
+rude to the employees who have University degrees. Only the gardener,
+a German, has the courage to be offended: "How dare you, gold bag?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A tiny little schoolboy with the name of Trachtenbauer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Whenever he reads in the newspaper about the death of a great man, he
+wears mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the theatre. A gentleman asks a lady to take her hat off, as it
+is in his way. Grumbling, disagreeableness, entreaties. At last a
+confession: "Madam, I am the author of the play." She answered: "I
+don't care."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In order to act wisely it is not enough to be wise (Dostoevsky).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A. and B. have a bet. A. wins the wager, by eating twelve cutlets; B.
+does not pay even for the cutlets.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is terrible to dine every day with a person who stammers and says
+stupid things.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Glancing at a plump, appetizing woman: "It is not a woman, it is a
+full moon."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+From her face one would imagine that under her stays she has got
+gills.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For a farce: Kapiton Ivanovitch Boil.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An income-tax inspector and an excise official, in order to justify
+their occupations to themselves, say spontaneously: "It is an
+interesting profession, there is a lot of work, it is a live
+occupation."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At twenty she loved Z., at twenty-four she married N. not because she
+loved him, but because she thought him a good, wise, ideal man. The
+couple lived happily; every one envies them, and indeed their life
+passes smoothly and placidly; she is satisfied, and, when people
+discuss love, she says that for family life not love nor passion is
+wanted, but affection. But once the music played suddenly, and, inside
+her heart, everything broke up like ice in spring: she remembered Z.
+and her love for him, and she thought with despair that her life was
+ruined, spoilt for ever, and that she was unhappy. Then it happened
+to her with the New Year greetings; when people wished her "New
+Happiness," she indeed longed for new happiness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z. goes to a doctor, who examines him and finds that he is suffering
+from heart disease. Z. abruptly changes his way of life, takes
+medicine, can only talk about his disease; the whole town knows that
+he has heart disease and all the doctors, whom he regularly consults,
+say that he has got heart disease. He does not marry, gives up amateur
+theatricals, does not drink, and when he walks does so slowly and
+hardly breathes. Eleven years later he has to go to Moscow and there
+he consults a specialist. The latter finds that his heart is perfectly
+sound. Z. is overjoyed, but he can no longer return to a normal life,
+for he has got accustomed to going to bed early and to walking slowly,
+and he is bored if he cannot speak of his disease. The only result is
+that he gets to hate doctors--that is all.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A woman is fascinated not by art, but by the noise made by those who
+have to do with art.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., a dramatic critic, has a mistress X., an actress. Her benefit
+night. The play is rotten, the acting poor, but N. has to praise.
+He writes briefly: "The play and the leading actress had an enormous
+success. Particulars to-morrow." As he wrote the last two words, he
+gave a sigh of relief. Next day he goes to X.; she opens the door,
+allows him to kiss and embrace her, and in a cutting tone says:
+"Particulars to-morrow."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In Kislovodsk or some other watering-place Z. picked up a girl of
+twenty-two; she was poor, straightforward, he took pity on her and,
+in addition to her fee, he left twenty-five roubles on the chest of
+drawers; he left her room with the feeling of a man who has done
+a good deed. The next time he visited her, he noticed an expensive
+ash-tray and a man's fur cap, bought out of his twenty-five
+roubles--the girl again starving, her cheeks hollow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. mortgages his estate with the Bank of the Nobility at 4 per cent,
+and then lends the money on mortgage at 12 per cent.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Aristocrats? The same ugly bodies and physical uncleanliness, the same
+toothless old age and disgusting death, as with market-women.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., when a group is being photographed, always stands in the front
+row; on addresses he always signs the first; at anniversaries he is
+always the first to speak. Always wonders: "O soup! O pastries!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z. got tired of having visitors, and he hired a French woman to live
+in his house as if she were his mistress. This shocked the ladies and
+he no longer had visitors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z. is a torch-bearer at funerals. He is an idealist. "In the
+undertaker's shop."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. and Z. are intimate friends, but when they meet in society, they at
+once make fun of one another--out of shyness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Complaint: "My son Stepan was delicate, and I therefore sent him to
+school in the Crimea, but there he was caned with a vine-branch, and
+that gave him philoxera in the behind and now the doctors can not cure
+him."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mitya and Katya were told that their papa blasted rocks in the quarry.
+They wanted to blow up their cross grandpapa, so they took a pound of
+powder from their father's room, put it in a bottle, inserted a wick,
+and placed it under their grandfather's chair, when he was dozing
+after dinner; but soldiers marched by with the band playing--and this
+was the only thing that prevented them from carrying out their plan.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Sleep is a marvelous mystery of Nature which renews all the powers of
+man, bodily and spiritual. (Bishop Porphyrius Usgensky, "The Book of
+My Life.")
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A woman imagines that she has a peculiar, exceptional constitution,
+whose ailments are different from other people's and which cannot
+stand ordinary medicine. She thinks that her son is unlike other
+people's sons, that he has to be brought up differently. She believes
+in principles, but she thinks that they apply to every one but
+herself, because she lives in exceptional circumstances. The son grows
+up, and she tries to find an exceptional wife for him. Those around
+her suffer. The son turns out a scoundrel.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Poor long-suffering art!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man whose madness takes the form of an idea that he is a ghost:
+walks at night.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A sentimental man, like Lavrov, has moments of pleasant emotion and
+makes the request: "Write a letter to my auntie in Briansk; she is a
+darling...."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There is a bad smell in the barn: ten years ago haymakers slept the
+night in it and ever since it smells.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An officer at a doctor's. The money on a plate. The doctor can see in
+the looking-glass that the patient takes twenty-five roubles from the
+plate and pays him with it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Russia is a nobody's country!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z. who is always saying banal things: "With the agility of a bear,"
+"on one's favorite corn."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A savings bank: the clerk, a very nice man, looks down on the bank,
+considers it useless--and yet goes on working there.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A radical lady, who crosses herself at night, is secretly full of
+prejudice and superstition, hears that in order to be happy one should
+boil a black cat by night. She steals a cat and tries to boil it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A publisher's twenty-fifth anniversary. Tears, a speech: "I offer ten
+roubles to the literary fund, the interest to be paid to the poorest
+writer, but on condition that a special committee is appointed to work
+out the rules according to which the distribution shall be made."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He wore a blouse and despised those who wore frock coats. A stew of
+trousers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The ice cream is made of milk in which, as it were, the patients
+bathed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It was a grand forest of timber, but a Government Conservator was
+appointed, and in two years time there was no more timber; the
+caterpillar pest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+X.: "Choleraic disorder in my stomach started with the cider."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Of some writers each work taken separately is brilliant, but taken as
+a whole they are indefinite; of others each particular work represents
+nothing outstanding; but, for all that, taken as a whole they are
+distinct and brilliant.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. rings at the door of an actress; he is nervous, his heart beats, at
+the critical moment he gets into a panic and runs away; the maid opens
+the door and sees nobody. He returns, rings again--but has not the
+courage to go in. In the end the porter comes out and gives him a
+thrashing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A gentle quiet schoolmistress secretly beats her pupils, because she
+believes in the good of corporal punishment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N.: "Not only the dog, but even the horses howled."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. marries. His mother and sister see a great many faults in his wife;
+they are distressed, and only after four or five years realize that
+she is just like themselves.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The wife cried. The husband took her by the shoulders and shook her,
+and she stopped crying.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+After his marriage everything--politics, literature, society--did not
+seem to him as interesting as they had before; but now every trifle
+concerning his wife and child became a most important matter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Why are thy songs so short?" a bird was once asked. "Is it because
+thou art short of breath?"
+
+"I have very many songs and I should like to sing them all."
+
+(A. Daudet.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The dog hates the teacher; they tell it not to bark at him; it looks,
+does not bark, only whimpers with rage.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Faith is a spiritual faculty; animals have not got it; savages and
+uncivilized people have merely fear and doubt. Only highly developed
+natures can have faith.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Death is terrible, but still more terrible is the feeling that you
+might live for ever and never die.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The public really loves in art that which is banal and long familiar,
+that to which they have grown accustomed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A progressive, educated, young, but stingy school guardian inspects
+the school every day, makes long speeches there, but does not spend a
+penny on it: the school is falling to pieces, but he considers himself
+useful and necessary. The teacher hates him, but he does not notice
+it. The harm is great. Once the teacher, unable to stand it any
+longer, facing him with anger and disgust, bursts out swearing at him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Teacher_: "Poushkin's centenary should not be celebrated; he did
+nothing for the church."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Miss Guitarov (actress).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you wish to become an optimist and understand life, stop believing
+what people say and write, observe and discover for yourself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Husband and wife zealously followed X.'s idea and built up their life
+according to it as if it were a formula. Only just before death they
+asked themselves: "Perhaps that idea is wrong? Perhaps the saying
+'mens sana in corpore sano' is untrue?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I detest: a playful Jew, a radical Ukrainian, and a drunken German.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The University brings out all abilities, including stupidity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Taking into consideration, dear sir, as a result of this view, dear
+sir....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The most intolerable people are provincial celebrities.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Owing to our flightiness, because the majority of us are unable and
+unaccustomed to think or to look deeply into life's phenomena, nowhere
+else do people so often say: "How banal!" nowhere else do people
+regard so superficially, and often contemptuously other people's
+merits or serious questions. On the other hand nowhere else does the
+authority of a name weigh so heavily as with us Russians, who have
+been abased by centuries of slavery and fear freedom....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A doctor advised a merchant to eat soup and chicken. The merchant
+thought the advice ironical. At first he ate a dinner of botvinia and
+pork, and then, as if recollecting the doctor's orders, ordered soup
+and chicken and swallowed them down too, thinking it a great joke.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Father Epaminond catches fish and puts them in his pocket; then, when
+he gets home, he takes out a fish at a time, as he wants it, and fries
+it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The nobleman X. sold his estate to N. with all the furniture according
+to an inventory, but he took away everything else, even the oven
+dampers, and after that N. hated all noblemen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The rich, intellectual X., of peasant origin, implored his
+son:--"Mike, don't get out of your class. Be a peasant until you die,
+do not become a nobleman, nor a merchant, nor a bourgeois. If, as
+you say, the Zemstvo officer now has the right to inflict corporal
+punishment on peasants, then let him also have the right to punish
+you." He was proud of his peasant origin, he was even haughty about
+it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They celebrated the birthday of an honest man. Took the opportunity
+to show off and praise one another. Only towards the end of the dinner
+they suddenly discovered that the man had not been invited; they had
+forgotten.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A gentle quiet woman, getting into a temper, says: "If I were a man, I
+would just bash your filthy mug."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Mussulman for the salvation of his soul digs a well. It would be a
+pleasant thing if each of us left a school, a well, or something like
+that, so that life should not pass away into eternity without leaving
+a trace behind it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+We are tired out by servility and hypocrisy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. once had his clothes torn by dogs, and now, when he pays a call
+anywhere, he asks: "Aren't there any dogs here?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A young pimp, in order to keep up his powers, always eats garlic.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+School guardian. Widowed priest plays the harmonium and sings: "Rest
+with the saints."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In July the red bird sings the whole morning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"A large selection of _cigs"_[1]--so read X. every day when he went
+down the street, and wondered how one could deal only in _cigs_ and
+who wanted them. It took him thirty years before he read it correctly:
+"A large selection of cigars."
+
+[Footnote 1: _Cigs_ in Russian is a kind of fish.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A bride to an engineer: a dynamite cartridge filled with
+one-hundred-rouble notes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"I have not read Herbert Spencer. Tell me his subjects. What does
+he write about?" "I want to paint a panel for the Paris exhibition.
+Suggest a subject." (A wearisome lady.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The idle, so-called governing, classes cannot remain long without war.
+When there is no war they are bored, idleness fatigues and irritates
+them, they do not know what they live for; they bite one another, try
+to say unpleasant things to one another, if possible with impunity,
+and the best of them make the greatest efforts not to bore the others
+and themselves. But when war comes, it possesses all, takes hold of
+the imagination, and the common misfortune unites all.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An unfaithful wife is a large cold cutlet which one does not want to
+touch, because some one else has had it in his hands.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An old maid writes a treatise: "The tramline of piety."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ryzeborsky, Tovbin, Gremoukhin, Koptin.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She had not sufficient skin on her face; in order to open her eyes she
+had to shut her mouth and _vice versa_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When she raises her skirt and shows her lace petticoat, it is obvious
+that she dresses like a woman who is accustomed to be seen by men.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+X. philosophizes: "Take the word 'nose.' In Russia it seems something
+unmentionable means the deuce knows what, one may say the indecent
+part of the body, and in French it means wedding." And indeed X.'s
+nose was an indecent part of the body.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A girl, flirting, chatters: "All are afraid of me ... men, and
+the wind ... all leave me alone! I shall never marry." And at home
+poverty, her father a regular drunkard. And if people could see how
+she and her mother work, how she screens her father, they would feel
+the deepest respect for her and would wonder why she is so ashamed of
+poverty and work, and is not ashamed of that chatter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A restaurant. An advanced conversation Andrey Andreyevitch, a
+good-natured bourgeois, suddenly declares: "Do you know gentlemen,
+I was once an anarchist!" Every one is astonished. A.A. tells the
+following tale: a strict father; a technical school opened in the
+provincial town in a craze for technical education; they have no ideas
+and they did not know what to teach (since, if you are going to make
+shoemakers of all the inhabitants, who will buy the shoes?); he was
+expelled and his father turned him out of the house; he had to take
+a job as an assistant clerk on the squire's estate; he became enraged
+with the rich, the well-fed, and the fat; the squire planted cherry
+trees, A.A. helped him, and suddenly a desire came over him to cut
+off the squire's white fat fingers with the spade, as if it were by
+accident; and closing his eyes he struck a blow with the shovel as
+hard as he could, but it missed. Then he went away; the forest, the
+quiet in the fields, rain; he longed for warmth, went to his aunt, she
+gave him tea and rolls--and his anarchism was gone. After the story
+there passed by the table Councillor of State L. Immediately A.A. gets
+up and explains how L., Councillor of State, owns houses, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I was apprenticed to a tailor. He cut the trousers; I did the
+sewing, but the stripe came down here right over the knee. Then I was
+apprenticed to a cabinet-maker. I was planing once when the plane flew
+out of my hands and hit the window; it broke the glass. The squire was
+a Lett, his name Shtoppev[1]; and he had an expression on his face
+as if he were going to wink and say: "Wouldn't it be nice to have a
+drink?" In the evenings he drank, drank by himself--and I felt hurt.
+
+[Footnote 1: _Shtopov_ means "cork-screw."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A dealer in cider puts labels on his bottles with a crown printed on
+them. It irritates and vexes X. who torments himself with the
+idea that a mere trader is usurping the crown. X complains to the
+authorities, worries every one, seeks redress and so on; he dies from
+irritation and worry.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A governess is teased with the nickname Gesticulation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Shaptcherigin, Zambisebulsky, Sveentchutka, Chemburaklya.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Senile pomposity, senile vindictiveness. What a number of despicable
+old men I have known!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+How delightful when on a bright frosty morning a new sleigh with a rug
+comes to the door.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+X. arrived to take up duty at N., he shows himself a despot: he is
+annoyed when some one else is a success; he becomes quite different
+in the presence of a third person; when a woman is present, his tone
+changes; when he pours out wine, he first puts a little in his own
+glass and then helps the company; when he walks with a lady he takes
+her arm; in general he tries to show refinement. He does not laugh at
+other people's jokes: "You repeat yourself." "There is nothing new in
+that." Every one is sick of him; he sermonizes. The old women nickname
+him "the top."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man who can not do anything, does not know how to act, how to enter
+a room, how to ask for anything.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Utiujny
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man who always insists: "I haven't got syphilis. I'm an honest man.
+My wife is an honest woman."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+X. all his life spoke and wrote about the vices of servants and about
+the way to manage and control them, and he died deserted by every one
+except his valet and his cook.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A little girl with rapture about her aunt: "She is very beautiful, as
+beautiful as our dog!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Marie Ivanovna Kolstovkin.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In a love letter: "Stamp enclosed for a reply."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The best men leave the villages for the towns, and therefore the
+villages decline and will continue to decline.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Pavel was a cook for forty years; he loathed the things which he
+cooked and he never ate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He ceased to love a woman; the sensation of not being in love; a
+peaceful state of mind; long peaceful thoughts.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Conservative people do so little harm because they are timid and have
+no confidence in themselves; harm is done not by conservative but by
+malicious people.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One of two things: either sit in the carriage or get out of it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For a play: an old woman of radical views dresses like a girl, smokes,
+cannot exist without company, sympathetic.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In a Pullman car--these are the dregs of society.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On the lady's bosom was the portrait of a fat German.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man who at all elections all his life long always voted against the
+Left.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They undressed the corpse, but had no time to take the gloves off; a
+corpse in gloves.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A farmer at dinner boasts: "Life in the country is cheap--one has
+one's own chickens, one's own pigs--life is cheap."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A customs official, from want of love for his work, searches the
+passengers, looking for documents of a suspicious political nature,
+and makes even the gendarmes indignant.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A real male (mouzhtchina) consists of man (mouzh) and title (tchin).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Education: "Masticate your food properly," their father told them. And
+they masticated properly, and walked two hours every day, and washed
+in cold water, and yet they turned out unhappy and without talent.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Commercial and industrial medicine.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. forty years old married a girl seventeen. The first night, when
+they returned to his mining village, she went to bed and suddenly
+burst into tears, because she did not love him. He is a good soul, is
+overwhelmed with distress, and goes off to sleep in his little working
+room.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On the spot where the former manor house stood there is no trace left;
+only one lilac bush remains and that for some reason does not bloom.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Son: "To-day I believe is Thursday."
+
+Mother: (not having heard) "What?"
+
+Son: (angrily) "Thursday!" (quietly) "I ought to take a bath."
+
+Mother: "What?"
+
+Son: (angry and offended) "Bath!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. goes to X. every day, talks to him, and shows real sympathy in his
+grief; suddenly X. leaves his house, where he was so comfortable. N.
+asks X.'s mother why he went away. She answers: "Because you came to
+see him every day."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It was such a romantic wedding, and later--what fools! what babies!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Love. Either it is a remnant of something degenerating, something
+which once has been immense, or it is a particle of what will in
+the future develop into something immense; but in the present it is
+unsatisfying, it gives much less than one expects.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A very intellectual man all his life tells lies about hypnotism,
+spiritualism--and people believe him; yet he is quite a nice man.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In Act I, X., a respectable man, borrows a hundred roubles from N.,
+and in the course of all four acts he does not pay it back.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A grandmother has six sons and three daughters, and best of all she
+loves the failure, who drinks and has been in prison.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., the manager of a factory, rich, with a wife and children, happy,
+has written "An investigation into the mineral spring at X." He was
+much praised for it and was invited to join the staff of a newspaper;
+he gave up his post, went to Petersburg, divorced his wife, spent his
+money--and went to the dogs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+(Looking at a photograph album): "Whose ugly face is that?"
+
+"That's my uncle."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Alas, what is terrible is not the skeletons, but the fact that I am no
+longer terrified by them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A boy of good family, capricious, full of mischief, obstinate, wore
+out his whole family. The father, an official who played the piano,
+got to hate him, took him into a corner of the garden, flogged him
+with considerable pleasure, and then felt disgusted with himself. The
+son has grown up and is an officer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. courted Z. for a long time. She was very religious, and, when he
+proposed to her, she put a dried flower, which he had once given to
+her, into her prayer-book.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z: "As you are going to town, post my letter in the letter-box."
+
+N: (alarmed) "Where? I don't know where the letter-box is."
+
+Z: "Will you also call at the chemist's and get me some naphthaline?"
+
+N: (alarmed) "I'll forget the naphthaline, I'll forget."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A storm at sea. Lawyers ought to regard it as a crime.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+X. went to stay with his friend in the country. The place was
+magnificent, but the servants treated him badly, he was uncomfortable,
+although his friend considered him a big man. The bed was hard, he was
+not provided with a night shirt and he felt ashamed to ask for one.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At a rehearsal. The wife:
+
+"How does that melody in Pagliacci go? Whistle it."
+
+"One must not whistle on the stage; the stage is a temple."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He died from fear of cholera.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As like as a nail is to a requiem.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A conversation on another planet about the earth a thousand years
+hence. "Do you remember that white tree?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Anakhthema!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Zigzagovsky, Oslizin, Svintchulka, Derbaliguin.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A woman with money, the money hidden everywhere, in her bosom and
+between her legs....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+All that procedure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Treat your dismissal as you would an atmospheric phenomenon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A conversation at a conference of doctors. First doctor: "All diseases
+can be cured by salt." Second doctor, military: "Every disease can
+be cured by prescribing no salt." The first points to his wife, the
+second to his daughter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The mother has ideals, the father too; they delivered lectures; they
+built schools, museums, etc. They grow rich. And their children are
+most ordinary; spend money, gamble on the Stock Exchange.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. married a German when she was seventeen. He took her to live in
+Berlin. At forty she became a widow and by that time spoke Russian
+badly and German badly.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The husband and wife loved having visitors, because, when there were
+no visitors they quarreled.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is an absurdity! It is an anachronism!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Shut the window! You are perspiring! Put on an overcoat! Put on
+goloshes!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you wish to have little spare time, do nothing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On a Sunday morning in summer is heard the rumble of a
+carriage--people driving to mass.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For the first time in her life a man kissed her hand; it was too much
+for her, it turned her head.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+What wonderful names: the little tears of Our Lady, warbler,
+crows-eyes.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: The names of flowers.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A government forest officer with shoulder straps, who has never seen a
+forest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A gentleman owns a villa near Mentone; he bought it out of the
+proceeds of the sale of his estate in the Tula province. I saw him in
+Kharkhov to which he had come on business; he gambled away the villa
+at cards and became a railway clerk; after that he died.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At supper he noticed a pretty woman and choked; a little later he
+caught sight of another pretty woman and choked again, so that he did
+not eat his supper--there were a lot of pretty women.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A doctor, recently qualified, supervises the food in a restaurant.
+"The food is tinder the special supervision of a doctor." He copies
+out the chemical composition of the mineral water; the students
+believe him--and all is well.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He did not eat, he partook of food.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man, married to an actress, during a performance of a play in which
+his wife was acting, sat in a box, with beaming face, and from time to
+time got up and bowed to the audience.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Dinner at Count O.D.'s. Fat lazy footmen; tasteless cutlets; a feeling
+that a lot of money is being spent, that the situation is hopeless,
+and that it is impossible to change the course of things.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A district doctor: "What other damned creature but a doctor would have
+to go out in such weather?"--he is proud of it, grumbles about it to
+every one, and is proud to think that his work is so troublesome; he
+does not drink and often sends articles to medical journals that do
+not publish them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When N. married her husband, he was junior Public Prosecutor; he
+became judge of the High Court and then judge of the Court of Appeals;
+he is an average uninteresting man. N. loves her husband very much.
+She loves him to the grave, writes him meek and touching letters when
+she hears of his unfaithfulness, and dies with a touching expression
+of love on her lips. Evidently she loved, not her husband, but some
+one else, superior, beautiful, non-existent, and she lavished that
+love upon her husband. And after her death footsteps could be heard in
+her house.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They are members of a temperance society and now and again take a
+glass of wine.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They say: "In the long run truth will triumph;" but it is untrue.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A clever man says: "This is a lie, but since the people can not do
+without the lie, since it has the sanction of history, it is dangerous
+to root it out all at once; let it go on for the time being but with
+certain corrections." But the genius says: "This is a lie, therefore
+it must not exist."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Marie Ivanovna Kladovaya.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A schoolboy with mustaches, in order to show off, limps with one leg.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A writer of no talent, who has been writing for a long time, with his
+air of importance reminds one of a high priest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mr. N. and Miss Z. in the city of X. Both clever, educated, of radical
+views, and both working for the good of their fellow men, but both
+hardly know each other and in conversation always rail at each other
+in order to please the stupid and coarse crowd.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He flourished his hand as if he were going to seize him by the hair
+and said: "You won't escape by that there trick."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. has never been in the country and thinks that in the winter country
+people use skis. "How I would enjoy ski-ing now!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Madam N., who sells herself, says to each man who has her: "I love you
+because you are not like the rest."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An intellectual woman, or rather a woman who belongs to an
+intellectual circle, excels in deceit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. struggled all his life investigating a disease and studying its
+bacilli; he devoted his whole life to the struggle, expended on it all
+his powers, and suddenly just before his death it turned out that the
+disease is not in the least infectious or dangerous.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A theatrical manager, lying in bed, read a new play. He read three or
+four pages and then in irritation threw the play on to the floor,
+put out the candle, and drew the bedclothes over him; a little later,
+after thinking over it, he took the play up again and began to read
+it; then, getting angry with the uninspired tedious work, he again
+threw it on the floor and put out the candle. A little later he once
+more took up the play and read it, then he produced it and it was a
+failure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., heavy, morose, gloomy, says: "I love a joke, I am always joking."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The wife writes; the husband does not like her writing, but out of
+delicacy says nothing and suffers all his life.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The fate of an actress: the beginning--a well-to-do family in Kertch,
+life dull and empty; the stage, virtue, passionate love, then lovers;
+the end: unsuccessful attempt to poison herself, then Kertch, life
+at her fat uncle's house, the delight of being left alone. Experience
+shows that an artist must dispense with wine, marriage, pregnancy. The
+stage will become art only in the future, now it is only struggling
+for the future.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+(Angrily and sententiously) "Why don't you give me your wife's letters
+to read? Aren't we relations?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Lord, don't allow me to condemn or to speak of what I do not know or
+do not understand.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Why do people describe only the weak, surly and frail as sinners? And
+every one when he advises others to describe only the strong, healthy,
+and interesting, means himself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For a play: a character always lying without rhyme or reason.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Sexton Catacombov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N.N., a litterateur, critic, plausible, self-confident, very liberal
+minded, talks about poetry; condescendingly agrees with one--and I see
+that he is a man absolutely without talent (I haven't read him). Some
+one suggests going to Ai-Petri. I say that it is going to rain, but
+we set out. The road is muddy, it rains; the critic sits next to me, I
+feel his lack of talent. He is wooed and made a fuss of as if he were
+a bishop. And when it cleared up, I went back on foot. How easily
+people deceive themselves, how they love prophets and soothsayers;
+what a herd it is! Another person went with us, a Councillor of State,
+middle-aged, silent, because he thinks he is right and despises the
+critic, because he too is without talent. A girl afraid to smile
+because she is among clever people.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Alexey Ivanitch Prokhladitelny (refreshing) or Doushespasitelny
+(soul-saving). A girl: "I would marry him, but am afraid of the
+name--Madam Refreshing."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A dream of a keeper in the zoological gardens. He dreams that there
+was presented to the Zoo first a marmot, then an emu, then a vulture,
+then a she-goat, then another emu; the presentations are made without
+end and the Zoo is crowded out--the keeper wakes up in horror wet with
+perspiration.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"To harness slowly but drive rapidly is in the nature of this people,"
+said Bismarck.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When an actor has money, he doesn't send letters but telegrams.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+With insects, out of the caterpillar comes the butterfly; with
+mankind it is the other way round, out of the butterfly comes the
+caterpillar.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: There is a play on words here, the Russian word for
+butterfly also means a woman.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The dogs in the house became attached not to their masters who fed and
+fondled them, but to the cook, a foreigner, who beat them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Sophie was afraid that her dog might catch cold, because of the
+draught.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The soil is so good, that, were you to plant a shaft, in a year's time
+a cart would grow out of it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+X. and Z., very well educated and of radical views, married. In the
+evening they talked together pleasantly, then quarreled, then came to
+blows. In the morning both are ashamed and surprised, they think
+that it must have been the result of some exceptional state of their
+nerves. Next night again a quarrel and blows. And so every night until
+at last they realize that they are not at all educated, but savage,
+just like the majority of people.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A play: in order to avoid having visitors, Z. pretends to be a regular
+tippler, although he drinks nothing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When children appear on the scene, then we justify all our weaknesses,
+our compromises, and our snobbery, by saying: "It's for the children's
+sake."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Count, I am going away to Mordegundia. (A land of horrible faces.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Barbara Nedotyopin.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Z., an engineer or doctor, went on a visit to his uncle, an editor;
+he became interested, began to go there frequently; then became a
+contributor to the paper, little by little gave up his profession; one
+night he came out of the newspaper office, remembered, and seized his
+head in his hands--"all is lost!" He began to go gray. Then it became
+a habit, he was quite white now and flabby, an editor, respectable but
+obscure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Privy Councillor, an old man, looking at his children, became a
+radical himself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A newspaper: "Cracknel."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The clown in the circus--that is talent, and the waiter in the frock
+coat speaking to him--that is the crowd; the waiter with an ironical
+smile on his face.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Auntie from Novozybkov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He has a rarefaction of the brain and his brains have leaked into his
+ears.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"What? Writers? If you like, for a shilling I'll make a writer of
+you."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Instead of translator, contractor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An actress, forty years old, ugly, ate a partridge for dinner, and I
+felt sorry for the partridge, for it occurred to me that in its life
+it had been more talented, more sensible, and more honest than that
+actress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The doctor said to me: "If," says he, "your constitution holds out,
+drink to your heart's content." (Gorbunov.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Carl Kremertartarlau.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A field with a distant view, one tiny birch tree. The inscription
+under the picture: loneliness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The guests had gone: they had played cards and everything was in
+disorder: tobacco smoke, scraps of paper, and chiefly--the dawn and
+memories.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Better to perish from fools than to accept praises from them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Why do trees grow and so luxuriantly, when the owners are dead?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The character keeps a library, but he is always away visiting; there
+are no readers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Life seems great, enormous, and yet one sits on one's _piatachok_.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: The word means five kopecks and also a pig's snout.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Zolotonosha?[1] There is no such town! No!
+
+[Footnote 1: The name of a Russian town, meaning literally
+"Gold-carrier."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When he laughs, he shows his teeth and gums.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He loved the sort of literature which did not upset him, Schiller,
+Homer, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., a teacher, on her way home in the evening was told by her friend
+that X. had fallen in love with her, N., and wanted to propose. N.,
+ungainly, who had never before thought of marriage, when she got home,
+sat for a long time trembling with fear, could not sleep, cried, and
+towards morning fell in love with X.; next day she heard that the
+whole thing was a supposition on the part of her friend and that X.
+was going to marry not her but Y.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He had a liaison with a woman of forty-five after which he began to
+write ghost stories.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I dreamt that I was in India and that one of the local princes
+presented me with an elephant, two elephants even. I was so worried
+about the elephant that I woke up.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An old man of eighty says to another old man of sixty: "You ought to
+be ashamed, young man."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When they sang in church, "Now is the beginning of our salvation," he
+ate _glavizna_ at home; on the day of St. John the Baptist he ate no
+food that was circular and flogged his children.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: _Glavizna_ in Russian is the name of a fish and also
+means beginning; the root of the verbs "to behead" and "to flog" are
+the same.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A journalist wrote lies in the newspaper, but he thought he was
+writing the truth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He himself is rich, but his mother is in the workhouse.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He married, furnished a house, bought a writing-table, got everything
+in order, but found he had nothing to write.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Faust: "What you don't know is just what you want; what you know is
+what you can't use."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Although you may tell lies, people will believe you, if only you speak
+with authority.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As I shall lie in the grave alone, so in fact I live alone.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A German: "Lord have mercy on us, _grieshniki_."[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: _Grieshniki_ means "sinners," but sounds like
+_grietchnieviki_ which means "buckwheat cakes."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"O my dear little pimple!" said the bride tenderly. The bridegroom
+thought for a while, then felt hurt--they parted.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They were mineral water bottles with preserved cherries in them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An actress who spoilt all her parts by very bad acting--and this
+continued all her life long until she died. Nobody liked her; she
+ruined all the best parts; and yet she went on acting until she was
+seventy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He alone is all right and can repent who feels himself to be wrong.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The archdeacon curses the "doubters," and they stand in the choir and
+sing anathema to themselves (Skitalez).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He imagined that his wife lay with her legs cut off and that he nursed
+her in order to save his soul....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Madame Snuffley.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The black-beetles have left the house; the house will be burnt down.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Dmitri, the Pretender, and Actors." "Turgenev and the Tigers."
+Articles like that can be and are written.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A title: Lemon Peel.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I am your legitimate husband.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An abortion, because while birthing a wave struck her, a wave of the
+ocean; because of the eruption of Vesuvius.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It seems to me: the sea and myself--and nothing else.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Education: his three-year-old son wore a black frock-coat, boots, and
+waistcoat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+With pride: "I'm not of Yuriev, but of Dorpat University."[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: Yuriev is the Russian name of the town Dorpat.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+His beard looked like the tail of a fish.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Jew, Ziptchik.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A girl, when she giggles, makes noises as if she were putting her head
+in cold water.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Mamma, what is a thunderbolt made of?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On the estate there is a bad smell, and bad taste; the trees
+are planted anyhow, stupidly; and away in a remote corner the
+lodge-keeper's wife all day long washes the guest's linen--and nobody
+sees her; and the owners are allowed to talk away whole days about
+their rights and their nobility.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She fed her dog on the best caviare.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Our self-esteem and conceit are European, but our culture and actions
+are Asiatic.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A black dog--he looks as if he were wearing goloshes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Russian's only hope--to win two hundred thousand roubles in a
+lottery.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She is wicked, but she taught her children good.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Every one has something to hide.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The title of N.'s story: The Power of Harmonies.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+O how nice it would be if bachelors or widowers were appointed
+Governors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Moscow actress never in her life saw a turkey-hen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On the lips of the old I hear either stupidity or malice.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Mamma, Pete did not say his prayers." Pete is woken up, he says his
+prayers, cries, then lies down and shakes his fist at the child who
+made the complaint.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He imagined that only doctors could say whether it is male or female.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One became a priest, the other a _Dukhobor_, the third a philosopher,
+and in each case instinctively because no one wants really to work
+with bent back from morning to night.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A passion for the word uterine: my uterine brother, my uterine wife,
+my uterine brother-in-law, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+To Doctor N., an illegitimate child, who has never lived with his
+father and knew him very little, his bosom friend Z., says with
+agitation: "You see, the fact of the matter is that your father misses
+you very much, he is ill and wants to have a look at you." The father
+keeps "Switzerland," furnished apartments. He takes the fried fish out
+of the dish with his hands and only afterwards uses a fork. The vodka
+smells rank. N. went, looked about him, had dinner--his only feeling
+that that fat peasant, with the grizzled beard, should sell such
+filth. But once, when passing the house at midnight, he looked in at
+the window: his father was sitting with bent back reading a book. He
+recognized himself and his own manners.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As stupid as a gray gelding.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They teased the girl with castor oil, and therefore she did not marry.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. all his life used to write abusive letters to famous singers,
+actors, and authors: "You think, you scamp,..."--without signing his
+name.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When the man who carried the torch at funerals came out in his
+three-cornered hat, his frock coat with laces and stripes, she fell in
+love with him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A sparkling, joyous nature, a kind of living protest against
+grumblers; he is fat and healthy, eats a great deal, every one likes
+him but only because they are afraid of the grumblers; he is a nobody,
+a Ham, only eats and laughs loud, and that's all; when he dies, every
+one sees that he had done nothing, that they had mistaken him for some
+one else.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+After the inspection of the building, the Commission, which was
+bribed, lunched heartily, and it was precisely a funeral feast over
+honesty.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He who tells lies is dirty.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At three o'clock in the morning they wake him: he has to go to his job
+at the railway station, and so every day for the last fourteen years.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A lady grumbles: "I write to my son that he should change his linen
+every Saturday. He replies: 'Why Saturday, not Monday?' I answer:
+'Well, all right, let it be Monday.' And he: 'Why Monday, not
+Tuesday?' He is a nice honest man, but I get worried by him."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A clever man loves learning but is a fool at teaching.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The sermons of priests, archimandrites, and bishops are wonderfully
+like one another.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One remembers the arguments about the brotherhood of man, public good,
+and work for the people, but really there were no such arguments, one
+only drank at the University. They write: "One feels ashamed of the
+men with University degrees who once fought for human rights and
+freedom of religion and conscience"--but they never fought.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Every day after dinner the husband threatens his wife that he will
+become a monk, and the wife cries.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mordokhvostov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Husband and wife have lived together and quarreled for eighteen years.
+At last he makes a confession, which was in fact untrue, of having
+been false to her, and they part to his great pleasure and to the
+wrath of the whole town.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A useless thing, an album with forgotten, uninteresting photographs,
+lies in the corner on a chair; it has been lying there for the last
+twenty years and no one makes up his mind to throw it away.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. tells how forty years ago X., a wonderful and extraordinary man,
+had saved the lives of five people, and N. feels it strange that every
+one listened with indifference, that the history of X. is already
+forgotten, uninteresting....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They fell upon the soft caviare greedily, and devoured it in a minute.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the middle of a serious conversation he says to his little son:
+"Button up your trousers."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Dove-colored face.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The squire feeds his pigeons, canaries, and fowls on pepper, acids,
+and all kinds of rubbish in order that the birds may change their
+color--and that is his sole occupation: he boasts of it to every
+visitor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They invited a famous singer to recite the Acts of the Apostles at the
+wedding; he recited it, but they have not paid his fee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For a farce: I have a friend by name Krivomordy (crooked face) and
+he's all right. Not crooked leg or crooked arm but crooked face: he
+was married and his wife loved him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. drank milk every day, and every time he put a fly in the glass and
+then, with the air of a victim, asked the old butler: "What's that?"
+He could not live a single day without that.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She is surly and smells of a vapor bath.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. learned of his wife's adultery. He is indignant, distressed, but
+hesitates and keeps silent. He keeps silence and ends by borrowing
+money from Z., the lover, and continues to consider himself an honest
+man.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When I stop drinking tea and eating bread and butter, I say: "I have
+had enough." But when I stop reading poems or novels, I say: "No more
+of that, no more of that."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A solicitor lends money at a high rate of interest, and justifies
+himself because he is leaving everything to the University of Moscow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A little sexton, with radical views: "Nowadays our fellows crawl out
+from all sorts of unexpected holes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The squire N. always quarrels with his neighbors who are Molokans[1];
+he goes to court, abuses and curses them; but when at last they leave,
+he feels there is an empty place; he ages rapidly and pines away.
+
+[Footnote 1: Molokans are a religious sect in Russia.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mordukhanov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+With N. and his wife there lives the wife's brother, a lachrymose
+young man who at one time steals, at another tells lies, at another
+attempts suicide; N. and his wife do not know what to do, they are
+afraid to turn him out because he might kill himself; they would like
+to turn him out, but they do not know how to manage it. For forging
+a bill he gets into prison, and N. and his wife feel that they are to
+blame; they cry, grieve. She died from grief; he too died some time
+later and everything was left to the brother who squandered it and got
+into prison again.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Suppose I had to marry a woman and live in her house, I would run away
+in two days, but a woman gets used so quickly to her husband's house,
+as though she had been born there.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Well, you are a Councillor; but whom do you counsel? God forbid that
+any one should listen to your counsels.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The little town of Torjok. A sitting of the town council. Subject: the
+raising of the rates. Decision: to invite the Pope to settle down in
+Torjok--to choose it as his residence.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+S.'s logic: I am for religious toleration, but against religious
+freedom; one cannot allow what is not in the strict sense orthodox.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+St. Piony and Epinach. ii March, Pupli 13 m.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Poetry and works of art contain not what is needed but what people
+desire; they do not go further than the crowd and they express only
+what the best in the crowd desire.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A little man is very cautious; he sends even letters of congratulation
+by registered post in order to get a receipt.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Russia is an enormous plain across which wander mischievous men.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Platonida Ivanovna.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you are politically sound, that is enough for you to be considered
+a perfectly satisfactory citizen; the same thing with radicals, to be
+politically unsound is enough, everything else will be ignored.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man who when he fails opens his eyes wide.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ziuzikov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Councillor of State, a respectable man; it suddenly comes out that
+he has secretly kept a brothel.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. has written a good play; no one praises him or is pleased; they all
+say: "We'll see what you write next."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The more important people came in by the front door, the simple folk
+by the back door.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He: "And in our town there lived a man whose name was Kishmish
+(raisin). He called himself Kishmish, but every one knew that he was
+Kishmish."
+
+She (after some thought): "How annoying ... if only his name had been
+Sultana, but Kishmish!..."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Blagovospitanny.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Most honored Iv-Iv-itch!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+How intolerable people are sometimes who are happy and successful in
+everything.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They begin gossiping that N. is living with Z.; little by little
+an atmosphere is created in which a liaison of N. and Z. becomes
+inevitable.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When the locust was a plague, I wrote against the locust and enchanted
+every one, I was rich and famous; but now, when the locust has long
+ago disappeared and is forgotten, I am merged in the crowd, forgotten,
+and not wanted.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Merrily, joyfully: "I have the honor to introduce you to Iv. Iv.
+Izgoyev, my wife's lover."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Everywhere on the estate are notices: "Trespassers will be
+prosecuted," "Keep off the flowers," etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the great house is a fine library which is talked about but is
+never used; they give you watery coffee which you cannot drink; the
+garden is tasteless with no flowers in it--and they pretend that all
+this is something Tolstoian.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He learnt Swedish in order to study Ibsen, spent a lot of time and
+trouble, and suddenly realized that Ibsen is not important; he could
+not conceive what use he could now make of the Swedish language.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: Ibsen wrote in Norwegian of course. Responding to
+a request for his interpretation of this curious paragraph. Mr.
+Koteliansky writes:
+
+"Chekhov had a very high opinion of Ibsen; the paragraph, I am sure,
+is by no means aimed at Ibsen. Most probably the paragraph, as well as
+many others in the Notes, is something which C. either personally or
+indirectly heard someone say. You will see that Kuprin ["Reminiscences
+of Chekhov," by Gorky, Kuprin and Bunin, New York: Huebsch.] told C.
+the anecdote about the actor whose wife asked him to whistle a melody
+on the stage during a rehearsal. In C.'s Notes you have that anecdote,
+somewhat shortened and the names changed, without mentioning the
+source."
+
+"The reader, on the whole, may puzzle his head over many paragraphs
+in the Notes, but he will hardly find explanations each time. What the
+reader has to remember is that the Notes are material used by C. in
+his creative activity and as such it throws a great deal of light on
+C.'s mentality and process of working."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. makes a living by exterminating bugs; and for the purposes of his
+trade he reads the works of ----. If in "The Cossacks," bugs are not
+mentioned, it means that "The Cossacks" is a bad book.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Man is what he believes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A clever girl: "I cannot pretend ... I never tell a lie ... I have
+principles"--and all the time "I ... I ... I ..."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. is angry with his wife who is an actress, and without her knowledge
+gets abusive criticisms published about her in the newspapers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A nobleman boasts "This house of mine was built in the time of Dmitry
+Donskoy."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Your Worship, he called my dog a bad name: 'son of a bitch.'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The snow fell and did not lie on the ground reddened with blood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He left everything to charity, so that nothing should go to his
+relations and children, whom he hated.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A very amorous man; he is no sooner introduced to a girl than he
+becomes a he-goat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A nobleman Drekoliev.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I dread the idea that a chamberlain will be present at the opening of
+my petition.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He was a rationalist, but he had to confess that he liked the ringing
+of church bells.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The father a famous general, nice pictures, expensive furniture; he
+died; the daughters received a good education, but are slovenly, read
+little, ride, and are dull.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They are honest and truthful so long as it is unnecessary.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A rich merchant would like to have a shower bath in his W.C.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the early morning they ate _okroshka_.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: A cold dish composed of cider and hash.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"If you lose this talisman," said grandmother, "you will die." And
+suddenly I lost it, tortured myself, was afraid that I would die. And
+now, imagine, a miracle happened: I found it and continued to live.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Everybody goes to the theatre to see my play, to learn something
+instantly from it, to make some sort of profit, and I tell you: I have
+not the time to bother about that canaille.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The people hate and despise everything new and useful; when there was
+cholera, they hated and killed the doctors and they love vodka; by the
+people's love or hatred one can estimate the value of what they love
+or hate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Looking out of the window at the corpse which is being borne to the
+cemetery: "You are dead, you are being carried to the cemetery, and I
+will go and have my breakfast."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Tchech Vtitchka.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A man, forty years old, married a girl of twenty-two who read only the
+very latest writers, wore green ribbons, slept on yellow pillows, and
+believed in her taste and her opinions as if they were law; she is
+nice, not silly, and gentle, but he separates from her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When one longs for a drink, it seems as though one could drink a whole
+ocean--that is faith; but when one begins to drink, one can only drink
+altogether two glasses--that is science.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For a farce: Fildekosov, Poprygunov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In former times a nice man, with principles, who wanted to be
+respected, would try to become a general or priest, but now he goes in
+for being a writer, professor....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There is nothing which history will not justify.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Zievoulia.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: A name or word invented by Chekhov meaning "One who yawns
+for a long time with pleasure."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The crying of a nice child is ugly; so in bad verses you may recognize
+that the author is a nice man.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who used to
+wear felt boots summer and winter, and women fell in love with him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I arrive at Yalta. Every room is engaged. I go to the "Italy"--not
+a room available. "What about my room number 35"--"It is engaged." A
+lady. They say: "Would you like to stay with this lady? The lady has
+no objection." I stay in her room. Conversation. Evening. The Tartar
+guide comes in. My ears are stopped, my eyes blindfolded; I sit and
+see nothing and hear nothing....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A young lady complains: "My poor brother gets such a small
+salary--only seven thousand!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She: "I see only one thing now: you have a large mouth! A large mouth!
+An enormous mouth!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The horse is a useless and pernicious animal; a great deal of land has
+to be tilled for it, it accustoms man not to employ his own muscles,
+it is often an object of luxury; it makes man effeminate. For the
+future not a single horse.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. a singer; speaks to nobody, his throat muffled up--he takes care of
+his voice, but no one has ever heard him sing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+About absolutely everything: "What's the good of that? It's useless!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He wears felt boots summer and winter and gives this explanation:
+"It's better for the head, because the blood, owing to the heat, is
+drawn down into the feet, and the thoughts are clearer."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A woman is jocularly called Fiodor Ivanovitch.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A farce: N., in order to marry, greased the bald patch on his head
+with an ointment which he read of in an advertisement, and suddenly
+there began to grow on his head pig's bristles.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+What does your husband do?--He takes castor oil.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A girl writes: "We shall live intolerably near you."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. has been for long in love with Z. who married X.; two years after
+the marriage Z. comes to N., cries, wishes to tell him something; N.
+expects to hear her complain against her husband; but it turns out
+that Z. has come to tell of her love for K.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. a well known lawyer in Moscow; Z., who like N. was born in
+Taganrog, comes to Moscow and goes to see the celebrity; he is
+received warmly, but he remembers the school to which they both went,
+remembers how N. looked in his uniform, becomes agitated by envy, sees
+that N.'s flat is in bad taste, that N. himself talks a great deal;
+and he leaves disenchanted by envy and by the meanness which before he
+did not even suspect was in him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The title of a play: The Bat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Everything which the old cannot enjoy is forbidden or considered
+wrong.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When he was getting on in years, he married a very young girl, and so
+she faded and withered away with him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+All his life he wrote about capitalism and millions, and he had never
+had any money.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A young lady fell in love with a handsome constable.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. was a very good, fashionable tailor; but he was spoiled and ruined
+by trifles; at one time he made an overcoat without pockets, at
+another a collar which was much too high.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A farce: Agent of freight transport company and of fire insurance
+company.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Any one can write a play which might be produced.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A country house. Winter. N., ill, sits in his room. In the evening
+there suddenly arrives from the railway station a stranger Z., a young
+girl, who introduces herself and says that she has come to look after
+the invalid. He is perplexed, frightened, he refuses; then Z. says
+that at any rate she will stay the night. A day passes, two, and she
+goes on living there. She has an unbearable temper, she poisons one's
+existence.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A private room in a restaurant. A rich man Z., tying his napkin round
+his neck, touching the sturgeon with his fork: "At least I'll have
+a snack before I die"--and he has been saying this for a long time,
+daily.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+By his remarks on Strindberg and literature generally L.L. Tolstoi
+reminds one very much of Madam Loukhmav.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: L.L. Tolstoi was Leo Nicolaievitch'a son, Madame Loukhmav
+a tenth rate woman-writer.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Diedlov, when he speaks of the Deputy Governor or the Governor,
+becomes a romanticist, remembering "The Arrival of the Deputy
+Governor" in the book _A Hundred Russian Writers_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A play: the Bean of Life.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A vet. belongs to the stallion class of people.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Consultation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The sun shines and in my soul is darkness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In S. I made the acquaintance of the barrister Z.--a sort of Nika, The
+Fair ... He has several children; with all of them he is magisterial,
+gentle, kind, not a single rude word; I soon learn that he has another
+family. Then he invites me to his daughter's wedding; he prays, makes
+a genuflection, and says: "I still preserve religious feeling; I am
+a believer." And when in his presence people speak of education, of
+women, he has a naive expression, exactly as if he did not understand.
+When he makes a speech in Court, his face looks as if he were praying.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Mammy, don't show yourself to the guests, you are very fat."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Love? In love? Never! I am a Government clerk.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He knows little, even as a babe who has not yet come out of his
+mother's womb.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+From childhood until extreme old age N. has had a passion for spying.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He uses clever words, that's all--philosophy ... equator ... (for a
+play).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The stars have gone out long ago, but they still shine for the crowd.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As soon as he became a scholar, he began to expect honors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He was a prompter, but got disgusted and gave it up; for about
+fifteen years he did not go to the theatre; then he went and saw a
+play, cried with emotion, felt sad, and, when his wife asked him on
+his return how he liked the theatre, he answered: "I do not like it."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The parlormaid Nadya fell in love with an exterminator of bugs and
+black beetles.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Councillor of State; it came out after his death that, in order to
+earn a rouble, he was employed at the theatre to bark like a dog; he
+was poor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+You must have decent, well-dressed children, and your children too
+must have a nice house and children, and their children again children
+and nice houses; and what is it all for?--The devil knows.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Perkaturin.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Every day he forces himself to vomit--for the sake of his health, on
+the advice of a friend.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Government official began to live an original life; a very tall
+chimney on his house, green trousers, blue waistcoat, a dyed dog,
+dinner at midnight; after a week he gave it up.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Success has already given that man a lick with its tongue.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the bill presented by the hotel-keeper: was among other things:
+"Bugs--fifteen kopecks." Explanation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"N. has fallen into poverty."--"What? I can't hear."--"I say N. has
+fallen into poverty."--"What exactly do you say? I can't make out.
+What N.?"--"The N. who married Z."--"Well, what of it?"--"I say we
+ought to help him."--"Eh? What him? Why help? What do you mean?"--and
+so on.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+How pleasant to sit at home, when the rain is drumming on the roof,
+and to feel that there are no heavy dull guests coming to one's house.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. always even after five glasses of wine, takes valerian drops.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He lives with a parlormaid who respectfully calls him Your Honor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I rented a country house for the summer; the owner, a very fat old
+lady, lived in the lodge, I in the great house; her husband was dead
+and so were all her children, she was left alone, very fat, the estate
+sold for debt, her furniture old and in good taste; all day long she
+reads letters which her husband and son had written to her. Yet she is
+an optimist. When some one fell ill in my house, she smiled and said
+again and again: "My dear, God will help."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. and Z. are school friends, each seventeen or eighteen years old;
+and suddenly N. learns that Z. is with child by N.'s father.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The priezt came ... zaint ... praize to thee, O Lord.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+What empty words these discussions about the rights of women! If a dog
+writes a work of talent, they will even accept the dog.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Haemorrhage: "It's an abscess that's just burst inside you ... it's all
+right, have some more vodka."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The intelligentsia are good for nothing, because they drink a lot of
+tea, talk a lot in stuffy rooms, with empty bottles.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When she was young, she ran away with a doctor, a Jew, and had
+a daughter by him; now she hates her past, hates the red-haired
+daughter, and the father still loves her as well as the daughter, and
+walks under her window, chubby and handsome.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He picked his teeth and put the toothpick back into the glass.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The husband and wife could not sleep; they began to discuss how bad
+literature had become and how nice it would be to publish a magazine:
+the idea carried them away; they lay awake silent for awhile. "Shall
+we ask Boborykin to write?" he asked. "Certainly, do ask him." At five
+in the morning he starts for his work at the depot; she sees him off
+walking in the snow to the gate, shuts the gate after him.... "And
+shall we ask Potapenko?" he asks, already outside the gate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When he learnt that his father had been raised to the nobility he
+began to sign himself Alexis.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Teacher: "'The collision of a train with human victims' ... that is
+wrong ... it ought to be 'the collision of a train that resulted in
+human victims' ... for the cause of the people on the line."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Title of play: Golden Rain.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There is not a single criterion which can serve as the measure of the
+non-existent, of the non-human.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A patriot: "And do you know that our Russian macaroni is better
+than the Italian? I'll prove it to you. Once at Nice they brought me
+sturgeon--do you know, I nearly cried." And the patriot did not see
+that he was only gastronomically patriotic.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A grumbler: "But is turkey food? Is caviare food?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A very sensible, clever young woman; when she was bathing, he noticed
+that she had a narrow pelvis and pitifully thin hips--and he got to
+hate her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A clock. Yegor the locksmith's clock at one time loses and at another
+gains exactly as if to spite him; deliberately it is now at twelve and
+then quite suddenly at eight. It does it out of animosity as though
+the devil were in it. The locksmith tries to find out the cause, and
+once he plunges it in holy water.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Formerly the heroes in novels and stories (e.g. Petchorin, Onyeguin)
+were twenty years old, but now one cannot have a hero under thirty to
+thirty-five years. The same will soon happen with heroines.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. is the son of a famous father; he is very nice, but, whatever he
+does, every one says: "That is very well, but it is nothing to the
+father." Once he gave a recitation at an evening party; all the
+performers had a success, but of him they said: "That is very well,
+but still it is nothing to the father." He went home and got into bed
+and, looking at his father's portrait, shook his fist at him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+We fret ourselves to reform life, in order that posterity may be
+happy, and posterity will say as usual: "In the past it used to be
+better, the present is worse than the past."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+My motto: I don't want anything.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When a decent working-man takes himself and his work critically,
+people call him grumbler, idler, bore; but when an idle scoundrel
+shouts that it is necessary to work, he is applauded.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When a woman destroys things like a man, people think it natural and
+everybody understands it; but when like a man, she wishes or tries to
+create, people think it unnatural and cannot reconcile themselves to
+it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When I married, I became an old woman.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He looked down on the world from the height of his baseness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Your fiancee is very pretty." "To me all women are alike."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He dreamt of winning three hundred thousand in lottery, twice in
+succession, because three hundred thousand would not be enough for
+him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., a retired Councillor of State, lives in the country; he is
+sixty-six. He is educated, liberal-minded, reads, likes an argument.
+He learns from his guests that the new coroner Z. walks about with a
+slipper on one foot and a boot on the other, and lives with another
+man's wife. N. thinks all the time of Z.; he does nothing but talk
+about him, how he walks about in one slipper and lives with another
+man's wife; he talks of nothing else; at last he goes to sleep with
+his own wife (he has not slept with her for the last eight years), he
+is agitated and the whole time talks about Z. Finally he has a stroke,
+his arm and leg are paralyzed--and all this from agitation about Z.
+The doctor comes. With him too N. talks about Z. The doctor says that
+he knows Z., that Z. now wears two boots, his leg being well, and that
+he has married the lady.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I hope that in the next world I shall be able to look back at this
+life and say: "Those were beautiful dreams...."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The squire N., looking at the undergraduate and the young girl,
+the children of his steward Z.: "I am sure Z. steals from me, lives
+grandly on stolen money, the undergraduate and the girl know it or
+ought to know it; why then do they look so decent?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She is fond of the word "compromise," and often uses it; "I am
+incapable of compromise...." "A board which has the shape of a
+parallelepiped."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The hereditary honorable citizen Oziaboushkin always tries to make out
+that his ancestors had the right to the title of Count.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"He is a perfect dab at it." "O, O, don't use that expression; my
+mother is very particular."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I have just married my third husband ... the name of the first
+was Ivan Makarivitch ... of the second Peter ... Peter ... I have
+forgotten.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The writer Gvozdikov thinks that he is very famous, that every one
+knows him. He arrives at S., meets an officer who shakes his hand for
+a long time, looking with rapture into his face. G. is glad, he
+too shakes hands warmly.... At last the officer: "And how is your
+orchestra? Aren't you the conductor?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Morning; M.'s mustaches are in curl papers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+And it seemed to him that he was highly respected and valued
+everywhere, anywhere, even in railway buffets, and so he always ate
+with a smile on his face.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The birds sing, and already it begins to seem to him that they do not
+sing, but whine.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N., father of a family, listens to his son reading aloud J.J. Rousseau
+to the family, and thinks: "Well, at any rate, J.J. Rousseau had no
+gold medal on his breast, but I have one."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. has a spree with his step-son, an undergraduate, and they go to a
+brothel. In the morning the undergraduate is going away, his leave is
+up; N. sees him off. The undergraduate reads him a sermon on their
+bad behavior; they quarrel. N: "As your father, I curse you."--"And I
+curse you."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A doctor is called in, but a nurse sent for.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N.N.V. never agrees with anyone: "Yes, the ceiling is white, that
+can be admitted; but white, as far as is known, consists of the seven
+colors of the spectrum, and it is quite possible that in this case
+one of the colors is darker or brighter than is necessary for the
+production of pure white; I had rather think a bit before saying that
+the ceiling is white."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He holds himself exactly as though he were an icon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Are you in love?"--"There's a little bit of that in it."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Whatever happens, he says: "It is the priests."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Firzikov.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N. dreams that he is returning from abroad, and that at Verzhbolovo,
+in spite of his protests, they make him pay duty on his wife.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When that radical, having dined with his coat off, walked into his
+bedroom and I saw the braces on his back, it became clear to me that
+that radical is a bourgeois, a hopeless bourgeois.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Some one saw Z., an unbeliever and blasphemer, secretly praying in
+front of the icon in the cathedral, and they all teased him.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They called the manager "four-funneled cruiser," because he had
+already gone "through the chimney" (bankrupt) four times.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He is not stupid, he was at the university, has studied long and
+assiduously, but in writing he makes gross mistakes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Countess Nadin's daughter gradually turns into a housekeeper; she is
+very timid, and can only say "No-o," "Yes-s," and her hands always
+tremble. Somehow or other a Zemstvo official wished to marry her; he
+is a widower and she marries him, with him too it was "Yes-s," "No-o";
+she was very much afraid of her husband and did not love him; one day
+he happened to give a loud cough, it gave her a fright, and she died.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Caressing her lover: "My vulture."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For a play: If only you would say something funny. But for twenty
+years we have lived together and you have always talked of serious
+things; I hate serious things.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A cook, with a cigarette in her mouth, lies: "I studied at a high
+school ... I know what for the earth is round."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Society for finding and raising anchors of steamers and barges," and
+the Society's agent at all functions without fail makes a speech, a la
+N., and without fail promises.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Super-mysticism.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When I become rich, I shall have a harem in which I shall keep fat
+naked women, with their buttocks painted green.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A shy young man came on a visit for the night: suddenly a deaf old
+woman came into his room, carrying a cupping-glass, and bled him; he
+thought that this must be the usual thing and so did not protest; in
+the morning it turned out that the old woman had made a mistake.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Surname: Verstax.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The more stupid the peasant, the better does the horse understand him.
+
+
+
+
+THEMES, THOUGHTS, NOTES, AND FRAGMENTS.
+
+
+... How stupid and for the most part how false, since if one man seeks
+to devour another or tell him something unpleasant it has nothing to
+do with Granovsky.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: A well-known Radical professor, a Westerner.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I left Gregory Ivanovitch's feeling crushed and mortally offended.
+I was irritated by smooth words and by those who speak them, and on
+reaching home I meditated thus: some rail at the world, others at the
+crowd, that is to say praise the past and blame the present; they cry
+out that there are no ideals and so on, but all this has already been
+said twenty or thirty years ago; these are worn-out forms which have
+already served their time, and whoever repeats them now, he too is no
+longer young and is himself worn out. With last year's foliage there
+decay too those who live in it. I thought, we uncultured, worn-out
+people, banal in speech, stereotyped in intentions, have grown quite
+mouldy, and, while we intellectuals are rummaging among old rags and,
+according to the old Russian custom, biting one another, there is
+boiling up around us a life which we neither know nor notice. Great
+events will take us unawares, like sleeping fairies, and you will see
+that Sidorov, the merchant, and the teacher of the school at
+Yeletz, who see and know more than we do, will push us far into the
+background, because they will accomplish more than all of us put
+together. And I thought that were we now to obtain political liberty,
+of which we talk so much, while engaged in biting one another, we
+should not know what to do with it, we should waste it in accusing one
+another in the newspapers of being spies and money-grubbers, we should
+frighten society with the assurance that we have neither men, nor
+science, nor literature, nothing! Nothing! And to scare society as we
+are doing now, and as we shall continue to do, means to deprive it
+of courage; it means simply to declare that we have no social or
+political sense in us. And I also thought that, before the dawn of a
+new life has broken, we shall turn into sinister old men and women and
+we shall be the first who, in our hatred of that dawn, will calumniate
+it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mother never stops talking about poverty. It is very strange. In the
+first place, it is strange that we are poor, beg like beggars, and at
+the same time eat superbly, live in a large house; in the summer we go
+to our own country house, and generally speaking we do not look like
+beggars. Evidently this is not poverty, but something else, and rather
+worse. Secondly, it is strange that for the last ten years mother has
+been spending all her energy solely on getting money to pay interest.
+It seems to me that were mother to spend that terrible energy on
+something else, we could have twenty such houses. Thirdly, it seems to
+me strange that the hardest work in the family is done by mother, not
+by me. To me that is the strangest thing of all, most terrible. She
+has, as she has just said, a thought on her brain, she begs, she
+humiliates herself; our debts grow daily and up till now I have not
+done a single thing to help her. What can I do? I think and think and
+cannot make it out. I only see clearly that we are rushing down an
+inclined plane, but to what, the devil knows. They say that poverty
+threatens us and that in poverty there is disgrace, but that too I
+cannot understand, since I was never poor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The spiritual life of these women is as gray and dull as their faces
+and dresses; they speak of science, literature, tendencies, and the
+like, only because they are the wives and sisters of scholars and
+literary men; were they the wives and sisters of inspectors or of
+dentists, they would speak with the same zeal of fires or teeth.
+To allow them to speak of science, which is foreign to them, and to
+listen to them, is to flatter their ignorance.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Essentially all this is crude and meaningless, and romantic love
+appears as meaningless as an avalanche which involuntarily rolls down
+a mountain and overwhelms people. But when one listens to music, all
+this is: that some people lie in their graves and sleep, and that one
+woman is alive--gray-haired, she is sitting in a box in the theatre,
+quiet and majestic, and the avalanche seems no longer meaningless,
+since in nature everything has a meaning. And everything is forgiven,
+and it would be strange not to forgive.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Olga Ivanovna regarded old chairs, stools, sofas, with the same
+respectful tenderness as she regarded old dogs and horses, and her
+room, therefore, was something like an alms-house for furniture.
+Round the mirror, on all tables and shelves, stood photographs of
+uninteresting, half-forgotten people; on the walls hung pictures at
+which nobody ever looked; and it was always dark in the room, because
+there burnt there only one lamp with a blue shade.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you cry "Forward," you must without fail explain in which direction
+one must go. Do you not see that, if without explaining the
+direction, you fire off this word simultaneously at a monk and at a
+revolutionary, they will proceed in precisely opposite directions?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is said in Holy Writ: "Fathers, do not irritate your children,"
+even the wicked and good-for-nothing children; but the fathers
+irritate me, irritate me terribly. My contemporaries chime in with
+them and the youngsters follow, and every minute they strike me in the
+face with their smooth words.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+That the aunt suffered and did not show it gave him the impression of
+a trick.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+O.I. was in constant motion; such women, like bees, carry about a
+fertilizing pollen....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Don't marry a rich woman--she will drive you out of the house; don't
+marry a poor woman--you won't sleep; but marry the freest freedom, the
+lot and life of a Cossack. (Ukrainian saying.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Aliosha_: "I often hear people say: 'Before marriage there is
+romance, and then--goodbye, illusion!' How heartless and coarse it
+is."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+So long as a man likes the splashing of a fish, he is a poet; but when
+he knows that the splashing is nothing but the chase of the weak by
+the strong, he is a thinker; but when he does not understand what
+sense there is in the chase, or what use in the equilibrium which
+results from destruction, he is becoming silly and dull, as he
+was when a child. And the more he knows and thinks, the sillier he
+becomes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_The death of a child_. I have no sooner sat down in peace
+than--bang--fate lets fly at me.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The she-wolf, nervous and anxious, fond of her young, dragged away a
+foal into her winter-shelter, thinking him a lamb. She knew that there
+was a ewe there and that the ewe had young. While she was dragging
+the foal away, suddenly some one whistled; she was alarmed and dropped
+him, but he followed her. They arrived at the shelter. He began to
+suck like the young wolves. Throughout the winter he changed but
+little; he only grew thin and his legs longer, and the spot on
+his forehead turned into a triangle. The she-wolf was in delicate
+health.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: A sketch of part of the story "Whitehead."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They invited celebrities to these evening parties, and it was dull
+because there are few people of talent in Moscow, and the same singers
+and reciters performed at all evening parties.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She has not before felt herself so free and easy with a man.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+You wait until you grow up and I'll teach you declamation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It seemed to her that at the show many of the pictures were alike.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There filed up before you a whole line of laundry-maids.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Kostya insisted that the women had robbed themselves.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+L. put himself in the place of the juryman and interpreted it thus: if
+it was a case of house-breaking, then there was no theft, because the
+laundresses themselves sold the linen and spent the money on
+drink; but if it was a case of theft, then there could have been no
+house-breaking.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Fiodor was flattered that his brother had found him at the same table
+with a famous actor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+When Y. spoke or ate, his beard moved as if he had no teeth in his
+mouth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ivashin loved Nadya Vishnyevsky and was afraid of his love. When the
+butler told him that the old lady had just gone out, but the young
+lady was at home, he fumbled in his fur coat and dress-coat pocket,
+found his card, and said: "Right."
+
+But it was not all right. Driving from his house in the morning, to
+pay a visit, he thought that he was compelled to it by conventions of
+society, which weighed heavily upon him. But now it was clear to
+him that he went to pay calls only because somewhere far away in the
+depths of his soul, as under a veil, there lay hidden a hope that he
+would see Nadya.... And he suddenly felt pitiful, sad, and a little
+frightened....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In his soul, it seemed to him, it was snowing, and everything faded
+away. He was afraid to love Nadya, because he was too old for her,
+thought his appearance unattractive, and did not believe that
+young girls like Nadya could love men for their minds and spiritual
+qualities. Still there would at times rise in him something like a
+hope. But now, from the moment when the officer's spurs jingled and
+then died away, there also died away his timid love.... All was at an
+end, hope was impossible.... "Yes, now all is finished," he thought,
+"I am glad, very glad."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He imagined his wife to be not Nadya, but always, for some reason, a
+stout woman with a large bosom, covered with Venetian lace.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The clerks in the office of the Governor of the island have a drunken
+headache. They long for a drink. They have no money. What is to be
+done? One of them, a convict who is serving his time here for forgery,
+devises a plan. He goes to the church, where a former officer, now
+exiled for giving his superior a box on the ears, sings in the choir,
+and says to him panting: "Here! There's a pardon come for you! They
+have got a telegram in the office."
+
+The late officer turns pale, trembles, and can hardly walk for
+excitement.
+
+"But for such news you ought to give something for a drink," says the
+clerk.
+
+"Take all I have! All!"
+
+And he hands him some five roubles.... He arrives at the office. The
+officer is afraid that he may die from joy and presses his hand to his
+heart.
+
+"Where is the telegram?"
+
+"The bookkeeper has put it away." (He goes to the bookkeeper.) General
+laughter and an invitation to drink with them.
+
+"How terrible!"
+
+After that the officer was ill for a week.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: An episode which Chekhov heard during his journey in the
+island, Saghalien.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Fedya, the steward's brother-in-law, told Ivanov that wild-duck were
+feeding on the other side of the wood. He loaded his gun with slugs.
+Suddenly a wolf appeared. He fired and smashed both the wolf's hips.
+The wolf was mad with pain and did not see him. "What can I do for
+you, dear?" He thought and thought, and then went home and called
+Peter.... Peter took a stick, and with an awful grimace, began to beat
+the wolf.... He beat and beat and beat until it died.... He broke into
+a sweat and went away, without saying a single word.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Vera_: "I do not respect you, because you married so strangely,
+because nothing came of you.... That is why I have secrets from you."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is unfortunate that we try to solve the simplest questions
+cleverly, and therefore make them unusually complicated. We should
+seek a simple solution.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There is no Monday which will not give its place to Tuesday.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I am happy and satisfied, sister, but if I were born a second time
+and were asked: "Do you want to marry?" I should answer: "No." "Do you
+want to have money?" "No...."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Lenstchka liked dukes and counts in novels, not ordinary persons. She
+loved the chapters in which there is love, pure and ideal not sensual.
+Descriptions of nature she did not like. She preferred conversations
+to descriptions. While reading the beginning she would glance
+impatiently at the end. She did not remember the names of authors.
+She wrote with a pencil in the margins: "Wonderful!" "Beautiful!" or
+"Serve him right!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Lenstchka sang without opening her mouth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Post coitum_: We Balderiovs always excelled in vigor and health.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He drove in a cab, and, as he watched his son walking away, thought:
+"Perhaps, he belongs to the race of men who will no longer trundle in
+scurvy cabs, as I do, but will fly through the skies in balloons."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+She is so beautiful that it is even frightening; dark eye-brows.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The son says nothing, but the wife feels him to be an enemy; she feels
+that he has overheard everything....
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+What a lot of idiots there are among ladies. People get so used to it
+that they do not notice it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+They often go to the theatre and read serious magazines--and yet are
+spiteful and immoral.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Nat_: "I never have fits of hysterics. I am not a pampered
+darling."[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: This and the following few passages are from the rough
+draft of Chekhov's play _Three Sisters_.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Nat_: (continually to her sisters): "O, how ugly you have grown. O,
+how old you do look!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+To live one must have something to hang on to.... In the provinces
+only the body works, not the spirit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+You won't become a saint through other people's sins.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Koulyguin_: "I am a jolly fellow, I infect every one with my mood."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Koul_. Gives lessons at rich houses.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Koul_. In Act IV without mustaches.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The wife implores the husband: "Don't get fat."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+O if there were a life in which every one grew younger and more
+beautiful.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Irene_: "It is hard to live without a father, without a
+mother."--"And without a husband."--"Yes, without a husband. Whom
+could one confide in? To whom could one complain? With whom could one
+share ones's joy? One must love some one strongly."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_Koulyguin_ (to his wife): "I am so happy to be married to you, that
+I consider it ungentlemanly and improper to speak of or even mention a
+dowry. Hush, don't say anything...."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The doctor enjoys being at the duel.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is difficult to live without orderlies. You cannot make the
+servants answer your bell.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The 2nd, 3rd, and 6th companies left at 4, and we leave at 12
+sharp.[1]
+
+[Footnote 1: Here the fragments from the rough draft of _Three
+Sisters_ end.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the daytime conversations about the loose manners of the girls in
+secondary schools, in the evening a lecture on degeneration and the
+decline of everything, and at night, after all this, one longs to
+shoot oneself.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the life of our towns there is no pessimism, no Marxism, and no
+movements, but there is stagnation, stupidity, mediocrity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He had a thirst for life, but it seemed to him to mean that he wanted
+a drink--and he drank wine.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+F. in the town-hall: Serguey Nik. in a plaintive voice: "Gentlemen,
+where can we get the means? Our town is poor."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+To be idle involuntarily means to listen to what is being said, to see
+what is being done; but he who works and is occupied hears little and
+sees little.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the skating rink he raced after L.; he wanted to overtake her and
+it seemed as if it were life which he wanted to overtake, that life
+which one cannot bring back or overtake or catch, just as one cannot
+catch one's shadow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Only one thought reconciled him to the doctor: just as he had suffered
+from the doctor's ignorance, so perhaps some one was suffering from
+his mistakes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+But isn't it strange? In the whole town there is not a single
+musician, not a single orator, not a prominent man.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Honorable Justice of the Peace, Honorable Member of the Children's
+Shelter--all honorable.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+L. studied and studied--but people who had finished developing could
+not understand her, nor could the young. _Ut consecutivum_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He is dark, with little side-whiskers, dressed like a dandy, dark
+eyes, a warm brunet. He exterminates bugs, talks about earthquakes and
+China. His fiancee has a dowry of 8,000 roubles; she is very handsome,
+as her aunt says. He is an agent for a fire-insurance company, etc.
+"You're awfully pretty, my darling, awfully. And 8,000 into the
+bargain! You are a beauty; when I looked at you to-day, a shiver ran
+down my back."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_He_: Earthquakes are caused by the evaporation of water.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Names: Goose, Pan, Oyster.
+
+"Were I abroad, they would give me a medal for such a surname."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I can't be said to be handsome, but I am rather pretty.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTE-BOOK OF ANTON CHEKHOV***
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