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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The House of Dust, by Conrad Aiken
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The House of Dust
+ A Symphony
+
+Author: Conrad Aiken
+
+Posting Date: August 21, 2008 [EBook #1246]
+Release Date: March, 1998
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOUSE OF DUST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Judy Boss
+
+
+
+
+
+THE HOUSE OF DUST
+
+A Symphony
+
+
+By Conrad Aiken
+
+
+
+ To Jessie
+
+
+ NOTE
+
+ . . . Parts of this poem have been printed in "The North American
+ Review, Others, Poetry, Youth, Coterie, The Yale Review". . . . I am
+ indebted to Lafcadio Hearn for the episode called "The Screen Maiden"
+ in Part II.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE HOUSE OF DUST
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ The sun goes down in a cold pale flare of light.
+ The trees grow dark: the shadows lean to the east:
+ And lights wink out through the windows, one by one.
+ A clamor of frosty sirens mourns at the night.
+ Pale slate-grey clouds whirl up from the sunken sun.
+
+ And the wandering one, the inquisitive dreamer of dreams,
+ The eternal asker of answers, stands in the street,
+ And lifts his palms for the first cold ghost of rain.
+ The purple lights leap down the hill before him.
+ The gorgeous night has begun again.
+
+ 'I will ask them all, I will ask them all their dreams,
+ I will hold my light above them and seek their faces.
+ I will hear them whisper, invisible in their veins . . .'
+ The eternal asker of answers becomes as the darkness,
+ Or as a wind blown over a myriad forest,
+ Or as the numberless voices of long-drawn rains.
+
+ We hear him and take him among us, like a wind of music,
+ Like the ghost of a music we have somewhere heard;
+ We crowd through the streets in a dazzle of pallid lamplight,
+ We pour in a sinister wave, ascend a stair,
+ With laughter and cry, and word upon murmured word;
+ We flow, we descend, we turn . . . and the eternal dreamer
+ Moves among us like light, like evening air . . .
+
+ Good-night! Good-night! Good-night! We go our ways,
+ The rain runs over the pavement before our feet,
+ The cold rain falls, the rain sings.
+ We walk, we run, we ride. We turn our faces
+ To what the eternal evening brings.
+
+ Our hands are hot and raw with the stones we have laid,
+ We have built a tower of stone high into the sky,
+ We have built a city of towers.
+
+ Our hands are light, they are singing with emptiness.
+ Our souls are light; they have shaken a burden of hours . . .
+ What did we build it for? Was it all a dream? . . .
+ Ghostly above us in lamplight the towers gleam . . .
+ And after a while they will fall to dust and rain;
+ Or else we will tear them down with impatient hands;
+ And hew rock out of the earth, and build them again.
+
+
+ II.
+
+ One, from his high bright window in a tower,
+ Leans out, as evening falls,
+ And sees the advancing curtain of the shower
+ Splashing its silver on roofs and walls:
+ Sees how, swift as a shadow, it crosses the city,
+ And murmurs beyond far walls to the sea,
+ Leaving a glimmer of water in the dark canyons,
+ And silver falling from eave and tree.
+
+ One, from his high bright window, looking down,
+ Peers like a dreamer over the rain-bright town,
+ And thinks its towers are like a dream.
+ The western windows flame in the sun's last flare,
+ Pale roofs begin to gleam.
+
+ Looking down from a window high in a wall
+ He sees us all;
+ Lifting our pallid faces towards the rain,
+ Searching the sky, and going our ways again,
+ Standing in doorways, waiting under the trees . . .
+ There, in the high bright window he dreams, and sees
+ What we are blind to,--we who mass and crowd
+ From wall to wall in the darkening of a cloud.
+
+ The gulls drift slowly above the city of towers,
+ Over the roofs to the darkening sea they fly;
+ Night falls swiftly on an evening of rain.
+ The yellow lamps wink one by one again.
+ The towers reach higher and blacker against the sky.
+
+
+ III.
+
+ One, where the pale sea foamed at the yellow sand,
+ With wave upon slowly shattering wave,
+ Turned to the city of towers as evening fell;
+ And slowly walked by the darkening road toward it;
+ And saw how the towers darkened against the sky;
+ And across the distance heard the toll of a bell.
+
+ Along the darkening road he hurried alone,
+ With his eyes cast down,
+ And thought how the streets were hoarse with a tide of people,
+ With clamor of voices, and numberless faces . . .
+ And it seemed to him, of a sudden, that he would drown
+ Here in the quiet of evening air,
+ These empty and voiceless places . . .
+ And he hurried towards the city, to enter there.
+
+ Along the darkening road, between tall trees
+ That made a sinister whisper, loudly he walked.
+ Behind him, sea-gulls dipped over long grey seas.
+ Before him, numberless lovers smiled and talked.
+ And death was observed with sudden cries,
+ And birth with laughter and pain.
+ And the trees grew taller and blacker against the skies
+ And night came down again.
+
+
+ IV.
+
+ Up high black walls, up sombre terraces,
+ Clinging like luminous birds to the sides of cliffs,
+ The yellow lights went climbing towards the sky.
+ From high black walls, gleaming vaguely with rain,
+ Each yellow light looked down like a golden eye.
+
+ They trembled from coign to coign, and tower to tower,
+ Along high terraces quicker than dream they flew.
+ And some of them steadily glowed, and some soon vanished,
+ And some strange shadows threw.
+
+ And behind them all the ghosts of thoughts went moving,
+ Restlessly moving in each lamplit room,
+ From chair to mirror, from mirror to fire;
+ From some, the light was scarcely more than a gloom:
+ From some, a dazzling desire.
+
+ And there was one, beneath black eaves, who thought,
+ Combing with lifted arms her golden hair,
+ Of the lover who hurried towards her through the night;
+ And there was one who dreamed of a sudden death
+ As she blew out her light.
+
+ And there was one who turned from clamoring streets,
+ And walked in lamplit gardens among black trees,
+ And looked at the windy sky,
+ And thought with terror how stones and roots would freeze
+ And birds in the dead boughs cry . . .
+
+ And she hurried back, as snow fell, mixed with rain,
+ To mingle among the crowds again,
+ To jostle beneath blue lamps along the street;
+ And lost herself in the warm bright coiling dream,
+ With a sound of murmuring voices and shuffling feet.
+
+ And one, from his high bright window looking down
+ On luminous chasms that cleft the basalt town,
+ Hearing a sea-like murmur rise,
+ Desired to leave his dream, descend from the tower,
+ And drown in waves of shouts and laughter and cries.
+
+
+ V.
+
+ The snow floats down upon us, mingled with rain . . .
+ It eddies around pale lilac lamps, and falls
+ Down golden-windowed walls.
+ We were all born of flesh, in a flare of pain,
+ We do not remember the red roots whence we rose,
+ But we know that we rose and walked, that after a while
+ We shall lie down again.
+
+ The snow floats down upon us, we turn, we turn,
+ Through gorges filled with light we sound and flow . . .
+ One is struck down and hurt, we crowd about him,
+ We bear him away, gaze after his listless body;
+ But whether he lives or dies we do not know.
+
+ One of us sings in the street, and we listen to him;
+ The words ring over us like vague bells of sorrow.
+ He sings of a house he lived in long ago.
+ It is strange; this house of dust was the house I lived in;
+ The house you lived in, the house that all of us know.
+ And coiling slowly about him, and laughing at him,
+ And throwing him pennies, we bear away
+ A mournful echo of other times and places,
+ And follow a dream . . . a dream that will not stay.
+
+ Down long broad flights of lamplit stairs we flow;
+ Noisy, in scattered waves, crowding and shouting;
+ In broken slow cascades.
+ The gardens extend before us . . . We spread out swiftly;
+ Trees are above us, and darkness. The canyon fades . . .
+
+ And we recall, with a gleaming stab of sadness,
+ Vaguely and incoherently, some dream
+ Of a world we came from, a world of sun-blue hills . . .
+ A black wood whispers around us, green eyes gleam;
+ Someone cries in the forest, and someone kills.
+
+ We flow to the east, to the white-lined shivering sea;
+ We reach to the west, where the whirling sun went down;
+ We close our eyes to music in bright cafees.
+ We diverge from clamorous streets to streets that are silent.
+ We loaf where the wind-spilled fountain plays.
+
+ And, growing tired, we turn aside at last,
+ Remember our secret selves, seek out our towers,
+ Lay weary hands on the banisters, and climb;
+ Climbing, each, to his little four-square dream
+ Of love or lust or beauty or death or crime.
+
+
+ VI.
+
+ Over the darkened city, the city of towers,
+ The city of a thousand gates,
+ Over the gleaming terraced roofs, the huddled towers,
+ Over a somnolent whisper of loves and hates,
+ The slow wind flows, drearily streams and falls,
+ With a mournful sound down rain-dark walls.
+ On one side purples the lustrous dusk of the sea,
+ And dreams in white at the city's feet;
+ On one side sleep the plains, with heaped-up hills.
+ Oaks and beeches whisper in rings about it.
+ Above the trees are towers where dread bells beat.
+
+ The fisherman draws his streaming net from the sea
+ And sails toward the far-off city, that seems
+ Like one vague tower.
+ The dark bow plunges to foam on blue-black waves,
+ And shrill rain seethes like a ghostly music about him
+ In a quiet shower.
+
+ Rain with a shrill sings on the lapsing waves;
+ Rain thrills over the roofs again;
+ Like a shadow of shifting silver it crosses the city;
+ The lamps in the streets are streamed with rain;
+ And sparrows complain beneath deep eaves,
+ And among whirled leaves
+ The sea-gulls, blowing from tower to lower tower,
+ From wall to remoter wall,
+ Skim with the driven rain to the rising sea-sound
+ And close grey wings and fall . . .
+
+ . . . Hearing great rain above me, I now remember
+ A girl who stood by the door and shut her eyes:
+ Her pale cheeks glistened with rain, she stood and shivered.
+ Into a forest of silver she vanished slowly . . .
+ Voices about me rise . . .
+
+ Voices clear and silvery, voices of raindrops,--
+ 'We struck with silver claws, we struck her down.
+ We are the ghosts of the singing furies . . . '
+ A chorus of elfin voices blowing about me
+ Weaves to a babel of sound. Each cries a secret.
+ I run among them, reach out vain hands, and drown.
+
+ 'I am the one who stood beside you and smiled,
+ Thinking your face so strangely young . . . '
+ 'I am the one who loved you but did not dare.'
+ 'I am the one you followed through crowded streets,
+ The one who escaped you, the one with red-gleamed hair.'
+
+ 'I am the one you saw to-day, who fell
+ Senseless before you, hearing a certain bell:
+ A bell that broke great memories in my brain.'
+ 'I am the one who passed unnoticed before you,
+ Invisible, in a cloud of secret pain.'
+
+ 'I am the one who suddenly cried, beholding
+ The face of a certain man on the dazzling screen.
+ They wrote me that he was dead. It was long ago.
+ I walked in the streets for a long while, hearing nothing,
+ And returned to see it again. And it was so.'
+
+
+ Weave, weave, weave, you streaks of rain!
+ I am dissolved and woven again . . .
+ Thousands of faces rise and vanish before me.
+ Thousands of voices weave in the rain.
+
+ 'I am the one who rode beside you, blinking
+ At a dazzle of golden lights.
+ Tempests of music swept me: I was thinking
+ Of the gorgeous promise of certain nights:
+ Of the woman who suddenly smiled at me this day,
+ Smiled in a certain delicious sidelong way,
+ And turned, as she reached the door,
+ To smile once more . . .
+ Her hands are whiter than snow on midnight water.
+ Her throat is golden and full of golden laughter,
+ Her eyes are strange as the stealth of the moon
+ On a night in June . . .
+ She runs among whistling leaves; I hurry after;
+ She dances in dreams over white-waved water;
+ Her body is white and fragrant and cool,
+ Magnolia petals that float on a white-starred pool . . .
+ I have dreamed of her, dreaming for many nights
+ Of a broken music and golden lights,
+ Of broken webs of silver, heavily falling
+ Between my hands and their white desire:
+ And dark-leaved boughs, edged with a golden radiance,
+ Dipping to screen a fire . . .
+ I dream that I walk with her beneath high trees,
+ But as I lean to kiss her face,
+ She is blown aloft on wind, I catch at leaves,
+ And run in a moonless place;
+ And I hear a crashing of terrible rocks flung down,
+ And shattering trees and cracking walls,
+ And a net of intense white flame roars over the town,
+ And someone cries; and darkness falls . . .
+ But now she has leaned and smiled at me,
+ My veins are afire with music,
+ Her eyes have kissed me, my body is turned to light;
+ I shall dream to her secret heart tonight . . . '
+
+ He rises and moves away, he says no word,
+ He folds his evening paper and turns away;
+ I rush through the dark with rows of lamplit faces;
+ Fire bells peal, and some of us turn to listen,
+ And some sit motionless in their accustomed places.
+
+ Cold rain lashes the car-roof, scurries in gusts,
+ Streams down the windows in waves and ripples of lustre;
+ The lamps in the streets are distorted and strange.
+ Someone takes his watch from his pocket and yawns.
+ One peers out in the night for the place to change.
+
+ Rain . . . rain . . . rain . . . we are buried in rain,
+ It will rain forever, the swift wheels hiss through water,
+ Pale sheets of water gleam in the windy street.
+ The pealing of bells is lost in a drive of rain-drops.
+ Remote and hurried the great bells beat.
+
+ 'I am the one whom life so shrewdly betrayed,
+ Misfortune dogs me, it always hunted me down.
+ And to-day the woman I love lies dead.
+ I gave her roses, a ring with opals;
+ These hands have touched her head.
+
+ 'I bound her to me in all soft ways,
+ I bound her to me in a net of days,
+ Yet now she has gone in silence and said no word.
+ How can we face these dazzling things, I ask you?
+ There is no use: we cry: and are not heard.
+
+ 'They cover a body with roses . . . I shall not see it . . .
+ Must one return to the lifeless walls of a city
+ Whose soul is charred by fire? . . . '
+ His eyes are closed, his lips press tightly together.
+ Wheels hiss beneath us. He yields us our desire.
+
+ 'No, do not stare so--he is weak with grief,
+ He cannot face you, he turns his eyes aside;
+ He is confused with pain.
+ I suffered this. I know. It was long ago . . .
+ He closes his eyes and drowns in death again.'
+
+ The wind hurls blows at the rain-starred glistening windows,
+ The wind shrills down from the half-seen walls.
+ We flow on the mournful wind in a dream of dying;
+ And at last a silence falls.
+
+
+ VII.
+
+ Midnight; bells toll, and along the cloud-high towers
+ The golden lights go out . . .
+ The yellow windows darken, the shades are drawn,
+ In thousands of rooms we sleep, we await the dawn,
+ We lie face down, we dream,
+ We cry aloud with terror, half rise, or seem
+ To stare at the ceiling or walls . . .
+ Midnight . . . the last of shattering bell-notes falls.
+ A rush of silence whirls over the cloud-high towers,
+ A vortex of soundless hours.
+
+ 'The bells have just struck twelve: I should be sleeping.
+ But I cannot delay any longer to write and tell you.
+ The woman is dead.
+ She died--you know the way. Just as we planned.
+ Smiling, with open sunlit eyes.
+ Smiling upon the outstretched fatal hand . . .'
+
+ He folds his letter, steps softly down the stairs.
+ The doors are closed and silent. A gas-jet flares.
+ His shadow disturbs a shadow of balustrades.
+ The door swings shut behind. Night roars above him.
+ Into the night he fades.
+
+ Wind; wind; wind; carving the walls;
+ Blowing the water that gleams in the street;
+ Blowing the rain, the sleet.
+ In the dark alley, an old tree cracks and falls,
+ Oak-boughs moan in the haunted air;
+ Lamps blow down with a crash and tinkle of glass . . .
+ Darkness whistles . . . Wild hours pass . . .
+
+ And those whom sleep eludes lie wide-eyed, hearing
+ Above their heads a goblin night go by;
+ Children are waked, and cry,
+ The young girl hears the roar in her sleep, and dreams
+ That her lover is caught in a burning tower,
+ She clutches the pillow, she gasps for breath, she screams . . .
+ And then by degrees her breath grows quiet and slow,
+ She dreams of an evening, long ago:
+ Of colored lanterns balancing under trees,
+ Some of them softly catching afire;
+ And beneath the lanterns a motionless face she sees,
+ Golden with lamplight, smiling, serene . . .
+ The leaves are a pale and glittering green,
+ The sound of horns blows over the trampled grass,
+ Shadows of dancers pass . . .
+ The face smiles closer to hers, she tries to lean
+ Backward, away, the eyes burn close and strange,
+ The face is beginning to change,--
+ It is her lover, she no longer desires to resist,
+ She is held and kissed.
+ She closes her eyes, and melts in a seethe of flame . . .
+ With a smoking ghost of shame . . .
+
+ Wind, wind, wind . . . Wind in an enormous brain
+ Blowing dark thoughts like fallen leaves . . .
+ The wind shrieks, the wind grieves;
+ It dashes the leaves on walls, it whirls then again;
+ And the enormous sleeper vaguely and stupidly dreams
+ And desires to stir, to resist a ghost of pain.
+
+ One, whom the city imprisoned because of his cunning,
+ Who dreamed for years in a tower,
+ Seizes this hour
+ Of tumult and wind. He files through the rusted bar,
+ Leans his face to the rain, laughs up at the night,
+ Slides down the knotted sheet, swings over the wall,
+ To fall to the street with a cat-like fall,
+ Slinks round a quavering rim of windy light,
+ And at last is gone,
+ Leaving his empty cell for the pallor of dawn . . .
+
+ The mother whose child was buried to-day
+ Turns her face to the window; her face is grey;
+ And all her body is cold with the coldness of rain.
+ He would have grown as easily as a tree,
+ He would have spread a pleasure of shade above her,
+ He would have been his father again . . .
+ His growth was ended by a freezing invisible shadow.
+ She lies, and does not move, and is stabbed by the rain.
+
+ Wind, wind, wind; we toss and dream;
+ We dream we are clouds and stars, blown in a stream:
+ Windows rattle above our beds;
+ We reach vague-gesturing hands, we lift our heads,
+ Hear sounds far off,--and dream, with quivering breath,
+ Our curious separate ways through life and death.
+
+
+ VIII.
+
+ The white fog creeps from the cold sea over the city,
+ Over the pale grey tumbled towers,--
+ And settles among the roofs, the pale grey walls.
+ Along damp sinuous streets it crawls,
+ Curls like a dream among the motionless trees
+ And seems to freeze.
+
+ The fog slips ghostlike into a thousand rooms,
+ Whirls over sleeping faces,
+ Spins in an atomy dance round misty street lamps;
+ And blows in cloudy waves over open spaces . . .
+
+ And one from his high window, looking down,
+ Peers at the cloud-white town,
+ And thinks its island towers are like a dream . . .
+ It seems an enormous sleeper, within whose brain
+ Laborious shadows revolve and break and gleam.
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ The round red sun heaves darkly out of the sea.
+ The walls and towers are warmed and gleam.
+ Sounds go drowsily up from streets and wharves.
+ The city stirs like one that is half in dream.
+
+ And the mist flows up by dazzling walls and windows,
+ Where one by one we wake and rise.
+ We gaze at the pale grey lustrous sea a moment,
+ We rub the darkness from our eyes,
+
+ And face our thousand devious secret mornings . . .
+ And do not see how the pale mist, slowly ascending,
+ Shaped by the sun, shines like a white-robed dreamer
+ Compassionate over our towers bending.
+
+ There, like one who gazes into a crystal,
+ He broods upon our city with sombre eyes;
+ He sees our secret fears vaguely unfolding,
+ Sees cloudy symbols shape to rise.
+
+ Each gleaming point of light is like a seed
+ Dilating swiftly to coiling fires.
+ Each cloud becomes a rapidly dimming face,
+ Each hurrying face records its strange desires.
+
+ We descend our separate stairs toward the day,
+ Merge in the somnolent mass that fills the street,
+ Lift our eyes to the soft blue space of sky,
+ And walk by the well-known walls with accustomed feet.
+
+
+ II. THE FULFILLED DREAM
+
+ More towers must yet be built--more towers destroyed--
+ Great rocks hoisted in air;
+ And he must seek his bread in high pale sunlight
+ With gulls about him, and clouds just over his eyes . . .
+ And so he did not mention his dream of falling
+ But drank his coffee in silence, and heard in his ears
+ That horrible whistle of wind, and felt his breath
+ Sucked out of him, and saw the tower flash by
+ And the small tree swell beneath him . . .
+ He patted his boy on the head, and kissed his wife,
+ Looked quickly around the room, to remember it,--
+ And so went out . . . For once, he forgot his pail.
+
+ Something had changed--but it was not the street--
+ The street was just the same--it was himself.
+ Puddles flashed in the sun. In the pawn-shop door
+ The same old black cat winked green amber eyes;
+ The butcher stood by his window tying his apron;
+ The same men walked beside him, smoking pipes,
+ Reading the morning paper . . .
+
+ He would not yield, he thought, and walk more slowly,
+ As if he knew for certain he walked to death:
+ But with his usual pace,--deliberate, firm,
+ Looking about him calmly, watching the world,
+ Taking his ease . . . Yet, when he thought again
+ Of the same dream, now dreamed three separate times,
+ Always the same, and heard that whistling wind,
+ And saw the windows flashing upward past him,--
+ He slowed his pace a little, and thought with horror
+ How monstrously that small tree thrust to meet him! . . .
+ He slowed his pace a little and remembered his wife.
+
+ Was forty, then, too old for work like this?
+ Why should it be? He'd never been afraid--
+ His eye was sure, his hand was steady . . .
+ But dreams had meanings.
+ He walked more slowly, and looked along the roofs,
+ All built by men, and saw the pale blue sky;
+ And suddenly he was dizzy with looking at it,
+ It seemed to whirl and swim,
+ It seemed the color of terror, of speed, of death . . .
+ He lowered his eyes to the stones, he walked more slowly;
+ His thoughts were blown and scattered like leaves;
+ He thought of the pail . . . Why, then, was it forgotten?
+ Because he would not need it?
+
+ Then, just as he was grouping his thoughts again
+ About that drug-store corner, under an arc-lamp,
+ Where first he met the girl whom he would marry,--
+ That blue-eyed innocent girl, in a soft blouse,--
+ He waved his hand for signal, and up he went
+ In the dusty chute that hugged the wall;
+ Above the tree; from girdered floor to floor;
+ Above the flattening roofs, until the sea
+ Lay wide and waved before him . . . And then he stepped
+ Giddily out, from that security,
+ To the red rib of iron against the sky,
+ And walked along it, feeling it sing and tremble;
+ And looking down one instant, saw the tree
+ Just as he dreamed it was; and looked away,
+ And up again, feeling his blood go wild.
+
+ He gave the signal; the long girder swung
+ Closer to him, dropped clanging into place,
+ Almost pushing him off. Pneumatic hammers
+ Began their madhouse clatter, the white-hot rivets
+ Were tossed from below and deftly caught in pails;
+ He signalled again, and wiped his mouth, and thought
+ A place so high in the air should be more quiet.
+ The tree, far down below, teased at his eyes,
+ Teased at the corners of them, until he looked,
+ And felt his body go suddenly small and light;
+ Felt his brain float off like a dwindling vapor;
+ And heard a whistle of wind, and saw a tree
+ Come plunging up to him, and thought to himself,
+ 'By God--I'm done for now, the dream was right . . .'
+
+
+ III. INTERLUDE
+
+ The warm sun dreams in the dust, the warm sun falls
+ On bright red roofs and walls;
+ The trees in the park exhale a ghost of rain;
+ We go from door to door in the streets again,
+ Talking, laughing, dreaming, turning our faces,
+ Recalling other times and places . . .
+ We crowd, not knowing why, around a gate,
+ We crowd together and wait,
+ A stretcher is carried out, voices are stilled,
+ The ambulance drives away.
+ We watch its roof flash by, hear someone say
+ 'A man fell off the building and was killed--
+ Fell right into a barrel . . .' We turn again
+ Among the frightened eyes of white-faced men,
+ And go our separate ways, each bearing with him
+ A thing he tries, but vainly, to forget,--
+ A sickened crowd, a stretcher red and wet.
+
+ A hurdy-gurdy sings in the crowded street,
+ The golden notes skip over the sunlit stones,
+ Wings are upon our feet.
+ The sun seems warmer, the winding street more bright,
+ Sparrows come whirring down in a cloud of light.
+ We bear our dreams among us, bear them all,
+ Like hurdy-gurdy music they rise and fall,
+ Climb to beauty and die.
+ The wandering lover dreams of his lover's mouth,
+ And smiles at the hostile sky.
+ The broker smokes his pipe, and sees a fortune.
+ The murderer hears a cry.
+
+
+ IV. NIGHTMARE
+
+ 'Draw three cards, and I will tell your future . . .
+ Draw three cards, and lay them down,
+ Rest your palms upon them, stare at the crystal,
+ And think of time . . . My father was a clown,
+ My mother was a gypsy out of Egypt;
+ And she was gotten with child in a strange way;
+ And I was born in a cold eclipse of the moon,
+ With the future in my eyes as clear as day.'
+
+ I sit before the gold-embroidered curtain
+ And think her face is like a wrinkled desert.
+ The crystal burns in lamplight beneath my eyes.
+ A dragon slowly coils on the scaly curtain.
+ Upon a scarlet cloth a white skull lies.
+
+ 'Your hand is on the hand that holds three lilies.
+ You will live long, love many times.
+ I see a dark girl here who once betrayed you.
+ I see a shadow of secret crimes.
+
+ 'There was a man who came intent to kill you,
+ And hid behind a door and waited for you;
+ There was a woman who smiled at you and lied.
+ There was a golden girl who loved you, begged you,
+ Crawled after you, and died.
+
+ 'There is a ghost of murder in your blood--
+ Coming or past, I know not which.
+ And here is danger--a woman with sea-green eyes,
+ And white-skinned as a witch . . .'
+
+ The words hiss into me, like raindrops falling
+ On sleepy fire . . . She smiles a meaning smile.
+ Suspicion eats my brain; I ask a question;
+ Something is creeping at me, something vile;
+
+ And suddenly on the wall behind her head
+ I see a monstrous shadow strike and spread,
+ The lamp puffs out, a great blow crashes down.
+ I plunge through the curtain, run through dark to the street,
+ And hear swift steps retreat . . .
+
+ The shades are drawn, the door is locked behind me.
+ Behind the door I hear a hammer sounding.
+ I walk in a cloud of wonder; I am glad.
+ I mingle among the crowds; my heart is pounding;
+ You do not guess the adventure I have had! . . .
+
+ Yet you, too, all have had your dark adventures,
+ Your sudden adventures, or strange, or sweet . . .
+ My peril goes out from me, is blown among you.
+ We loiter, dreaming together, along the street.
+
+
+ V. RETROSPECT
+
+ Round white clouds roll slowly above the housetops,
+ Over the clear red roofs they flow and pass.
+ A flock of pigeons rises with blue wings flashing,
+ Rises with whistle of wings, hovers an instant,
+ And settles slowly again on the tarnished grass.
+
+ And one old man looks down from a dusty window
+ And sees the pigeons circling about the fountain
+ And desires once more to walk among those trees.
+ Lovers walk in the noontime by that fountain.
+ Pigeons dip their beaks to drink from the water.
+ And soon the pond must freeze.
+
+ The light wind blows to his ears a sound of laughter,
+ Young men shuffle their feet, loaf in the sunlight;
+ A girl's laugh rings like a silver bell.
+ But clearer than all these sounds is a sound he hears
+ More in his secret heart than in his ears,--
+ A hammer's steady crescendo, like a knell.
+ He hears the snarl of pineboards under the plane,
+ The rhythmic saw, and then the hammer again,--
+ Playing with delicate strokes that sombre scale . . .
+ And the fountain dwindles, the sunlight seems to pale.
+
+ Time is a dream, he thinks, a destroying dream;
+ It lays great cities in dust, it fills the seas;
+ It covers the face of beauty, and tumbles walls.
+ Where was the woman he loved? Where was his youth?
+ Where was the dream that burned his brain like fire?
+ Even a dream grows grey at last and falls.
+
+ He opened his book once more, beside the window,
+ And read the printed words upon that page.
+ The sunlight touched his hand; his eyes moved slowly,
+ The quiet words enchanted time and age.
+
+ 'Death is never an ending, death is a change;
+ Death is beautiful, for death is strange;
+ Death is one dream out of another flowing;
+ Death is a chorded music, softly going
+ By sweet transition from key to richer key.
+ Death is a meeting place of sea and sea.'
+
+
+ VI. ADELE AND DAVIS
+
+ She turned her head on the pillow, and cried once more.
+ And drawing a shaken breath, and closing her eyes,
+ To shut out, if she could, this dingy room,
+ The wigs and costumes scattered around the floor,--
+ Yellows and greens in the dark,--she walked again
+ Those nightmare streets which she had walked so often . . .
+ Here, at a certain corner, under an arc-lamp,
+ Blown by a bitter wind, she stopped and looked
+ In through the brilliant windows of a drug-store,
+ And wondered if she dared to ask for poison:
+ But it was late, few customers were there,
+ The eyes of all the clerks would freeze upon her,
+ And she would wilt, and cry . . . Here, by the river,
+ She listened to the water slapping the wall,
+ And felt queer fascination in its blackness:
+ But it was cold, the little waves looked cruel,
+ The stars were keen, and a windy dash of spray
+ Struck her cheek, and withered her veins . . . And so
+ She dragged herself once more to home, and bed.
+
+ Paul hadn't guessed it yet--though twice, already,
+ She'd fainted--once, the first time, on the stage.
+ So she must tell him soon--or else--get out . . .
+ How could she say it? That was the hideous thing.
+ She'd rather die than say it! . . . and all the trouble,
+ Months when she couldn't earn a cent, and then,
+ If he refused to marry her . . . well, what?
+ She saw him laughing, making a foolish joke,
+ His grey eyes turning quickly; and the words
+ Fled from her tongue . . . She saw him sitting silent,
+ Brooding over his morning coffee, maybe,
+ And tried again . . . she bit her lips, and trembled,
+ And looked away, and said . . . 'Say Paul, boy,--listen--
+ There's something I must tell you . . . ' There she stopped,
+ Wondering what he'd say . . . What would he say?
+ 'Spring it, kid! Don't look so serious!'
+ 'But what I've got to say--IS--serious!'
+ Then she could see how, suddenly, he would sober,
+ His eyes would darken, he'd look so terrifying--
+ He always did--and what could she do but cry?
+ Perhaps, then, he would guess--perhaps he wouldn't.
+ And if he didn't, but asked her 'What's the matter?'--
+ She knew she'd never tell--just say she was sick . . .
+ And after that, when would she dare again?
+ And what would he do--even suppose she told him?
+
+ If it were Felix! If it were only Felix!--
+ She wouldn't mind so much. But as it was,
+ Bitterness choked her, she had half a mind
+ To pay out Felix for never having liked her,
+ By making people think that it was he . . .
+ She'd write a letter to someone, before she died,--
+ Just saying 'Felix did it--and wouldn't marry.'
+ And then she'd die . . . But that was hard on Paul . . .
+ Paul would never forgive her--he'd never forgive her!
+ Sometimes she almost thought Paul really loved her . . .
+ She saw him look reproachfully at her coffin.
+
+ And then she closed her eyes and walked again
+ Those nightmare streets that she had walked so often:
+ Under an arc-lamp swinging in the wind
+ She stood, and stared in through a drug-store window,
+ Watching a clerk wrap up a little pill-box.
+ But it was late. No customers were there,--
+ Pitiless eyes would freeze her secret in her!
+ And then--what poison would she dare to ask for?
+ And if they asked her why, what would she say?
+
+
+ VII. TWO LOVERS: OVERTONES
+
+ Two lovers, here at the corner, by the steeple,
+ Two lovers blow together like music blowing:
+ And the crowd dissolves about them like a sea.
+ Recurring waves of sound break vaguely about them,
+ They drift from wall to wall, from tree to tree.
+ 'Well, am I late?' Upward they look and laugh,
+ They look at the great clock's golden hands,
+ They laugh and talk, not knowing what they say:
+ Only, their words like music seem to play;
+ And seeming to walk, they tread strange sarabands.
+
+ 'I brought you this . . . ' the soft words float like stars
+ Down the smooth heaven of her memory.
+ She stands again by a garden wall,
+ The peach tree is in bloom, pink blossoms fall,
+ Water sings from an opened tap, the bees
+ Glisten and murmur among the trees.
+ Someone calls from the house. She does not answer.
+ Backward she leans her head,
+ And dreamily smiles at the peach-tree leaves, wherethrough
+ She sees an infinite May sky spread
+ A vault profoundly blue.
+ The voice from the house fades far away,
+ The glistening leaves more vaguely ripple and sway . .
+ The tap is closed, the water ceases to hiss . . .
+ Silence . . . blue sky . . . and then, 'I brought you this . . . '
+ She turns again, and smiles . . . He does not know
+ She smiles from long ago . . .
+
+ She turns to him and smiles . . . Sunlight above him
+ Roars like a vast invisible sea,
+ Gold is beaten before him, shrill bells of silver;
+ He is released of weight, his body is free,
+ He lifts his arms to swim,
+ Dark years like sinister tides coil under him . . .
+ The lazy sea-waves crumble along the beach
+ With a whirring sound like wind in bells,
+ He lies outstretched on the yellow wind-worn sands
+ Reaching his lazy hands
+ Among the golden grains and sea-white shells . . .
+
+ 'One white rose . . . or is it pink, to-day?'
+ They pause and smile, not caring what they say,
+ If only they may talk.
+ The crowd flows past them like dividing waters.
+ Dreaming they stand, dreaming they walk.
+
+ 'Pink,--to-day!'--Face turns to dream-bright face,
+ Green leaves rise round them, sunshine settles upon them,
+ Water, in drops of silver, falls from the rose.
+ She smiles at a face that smiles through leaves from the mirror.
+ She breathes the fragrance; her dark eyes close . . .
+
+ Time is dissolved, it blows like a little dust:
+ Time, like a flurry of rain,
+ Patters and passes, starring the window-pane.
+ Once, long ago, one night,
+ She saw the lightning, with long blue quiver of light,
+ Ripping the darkness . . . and as she turned in terror
+ A soft face leaned above her, leaned softly down,
+ Softly around her a breath of roses was blown,
+ She sank in waves of quiet, she seemed to float
+ In a sea of silence . . . and soft steps grew remote . .
+
+ 'Well, let us walk in the park . . . The sun is warm,
+ We'll sit on a bench and talk . . .' They turn and glide,
+ The crowd of faces wavers and breaks and flows.
+ 'Look how the oak-tops turn to gold in the sunlight!
+ Look how the tower is changed and glows!'
+
+ Two lovers move in the crowd like a link of music,
+ We press upon them, we hold them, and let them pass;
+ A chord of music strikes us and straight we tremble;
+ We tremble like wind-blown grass.
+
+ What was this dream we had, a dream of music,
+ Music that rose from the opening earth like magic
+ And shook its beauty upon us and died away?
+ The long cold streets extend once more before us.
+ The red sun drops, the walls grow grey.
+
+
+ VIII. THE BOX WITH SILVER HANDLES
+
+ Well,--it was two days after my husband died--
+ Two days! And the earth still raw above him.
+ And I was sweeping the carpet in their hall.
+ In number four--the room with the red wall-paper--
+ Some chorus girls and men were singing that song
+ 'They'll soon be lighting candles
+ Round a box with silver handles'--and hearing them sing it
+ I started to cry. Just then he came along
+ And stopped on the stairs and turned and looked at me,
+ And took the cigar from his mouth and sort of smiled
+ And said, 'Say, what's the matter?' and then came down
+ Where I was leaning against the wall,
+ And touched my shoulder, and put his arm around me . . .
+ And I was so sad, thinking about it,--
+ Thinking that it was raining, and a cold night,
+ With Jim so unaccustomed to being dead,--
+ That I was happy to have him sympathize,
+ To feel his arm, and leaned against him and cried.
+ And before I knew it, he got me into a room
+ Where a table was set, and no one there,
+ And sat me down on a sofa, and held me close,
+ And talked to me, telling me not to cry,
+ That it was all right, he'd look after me,--
+ But not to cry, my eyes were getting red,
+ Which didn't make me pretty. And he was so nice,
+ That when he turned my face between his hands,
+ And looked at me, with those blue eyes of his,
+ And smiled, and leaned, and kissed me--
+ Somehow I couldn't tell him not to do it,
+ Somehow I didn't mind, I let him kiss me,
+ And closed my eyes! . . . Well, that was how it started.
+ For when my heart was eased with crying, and grief
+ Had passed and left me quiet, somehow it seemed
+ As if it wasn't honest to change my mind,
+ To send him away, or say I hadn't meant it--
+ And, anyway, it seemed so hard to explain!
+ And so we sat and talked, not talking much,
+ But meaning as much in silence as in words,
+ There in that empty room with palms about us,
+ That private dining-room . . . And as we sat there
+ I felt my future changing, day by day,
+ With unknown streets opening left and right,
+ New streets with farther lights, new taller houses,
+ Doors swinging into hallways filled with light,
+ Half-opened luminous windows, with white curtains
+ Streaming out in the night, and sudden music,--
+ And thinking of this, and through it half remembering
+ A quick and horrible death, my husband's eyes,
+ The broken-plastered walls, my boy asleep,--
+ It seemed as if my brain would break in two.
+ My voice began to tremble . . . and when I stood,
+ And told him I must go, and said good-night--
+ I couldn't see the end. How would it end?
+ Would he return to-morrow? Or would he not?
+ And did I want him to--or would I rather
+ Look for another job?--He took my shoulders
+ Between his hands, and looked down into my eyes,
+ And smiled, and said good-night. If he had kissed me,
+ That would have--well, I don't know; but he didn't . .
+ And so I went downstairs, then, half elated,
+ Hoping to close the door before that party
+ In number four should sing that song again--
+ 'They'll soon be lighting candles round a box with silver handles'--
+ And sure enough, I did. I faced the darkness.
+ And my eyes were filled with tears. And I was happy.
+
+
+ IX. INTERLUDE
+
+ The days, the nights, flow one by one above us,
+ The hours go silently over our lifted faces,
+ We are like dreamers who walk beneath a sea.
+ Beneath high walls we flow in the sun together.
+ We sleep, we wake, we laugh, we pursue, we flee.
+
+ We sit at tables and sip our morning coffee,
+ We read the papers for tales of lust or crime.
+ The door swings shut behind the latest comer.
+ We set our watches, regard the time.
+
+ What have we done? I close my eyes, remember
+ The great machine whose sinister brain before me
+ Smote and smote with a rhythmic beat.
+ My hands have torn down walls, the stone and plaster.
+ I dropped great beams to the dusty street.
+
+ My eyes are worn with measuring cloths of purple,
+ And golden cloths, and wavering cloths, and pale.
+ I dream of a crowd of faces, white with menace.
+ Hands reach up to tear me. My brain will fail.
+
+ Here, where the walls go down beneath our picks,
+ These walls whose windows gap against the sky,
+ Atom by atom of flesh and brain and marble
+ Will build a glittering tower before we die . . .
+
+ The young boy whistles, hurrying down the street,
+ The young girl hums beneath her breath.
+ One goes out to beauty, and does not know it.
+ And one goes out to death.
+
+
+ X. SUDDEN DEATH
+
+ 'Number four--the girl who died on the table--
+ The girl with golden hair--'
+ The purpling body lies on the polished marble.
+ We open the throat, and lay the thyroid bare . . .
+
+ One, who held the ether-cone, remembers
+ Her dark blue frightened eyes.
+ He heard the sharp breath quiver, and saw her breast
+ More hurriedly fall and rise.
+ Her hands made futile gestures, she turned her head
+ Fighting for breath; her cheeks were flushed to scarlet,--
+ And, suddenly, she lay dead.
+
+ And all the dreams that hurried along her veins
+ Came to the darkness of a sudden wall.
+ Confusion ran among them, they whirled and clamored,
+ They fell, they rose, they struck, they shouted,
+ Till at last a pallor of silence hushed them all.
+
+ What was her name? Where had she walked that morning?
+ Through what dark forest came her feet?
+ Along what sunlit walls, what peopled street?
+
+ Backward he dreamed along a chain of days,
+ He saw her go her strange and secret ways,
+ Waking and sleeping, noon and night.
+ She sat by a mirror, braiding her golden hair.
+ She read a story by candlelight.
+
+ Her shadow ran before her along the street,
+ She walked with rhythmic feet,
+ Turned a corner, descended a stair.
+ She bought a paper, held it to scan the headlines,
+ Smiled for a moment at sea-gulls high in sunlight,
+ And drew deep breaths of air.
+
+ Days passed, bright clouds of days. Nights passed. And music
+ Murmured within the walls of lighted windows.
+ She lifted her face to the light and danced.
+ The dancers wreathed and grouped in moving patterns,
+ Clustered, receded, streamed, advanced.
+
+ Her dress was purple, her slippers were golden,
+ Her eyes were blue; and a purple orchid
+ Opened its golden heart on her breast . . .
+ She leaned to the surly languor of lazy music,
+ Leaned on her partner's arm to rest.
+ The violins were weaving a weft of silver,
+ The horns were weaving a lustrous brede of gold,
+ And time was caught in a glistening pattern,
+ Time, too elusive to hold . . .
+
+ Shadows of leaves fell over her face,--and sunlight:
+ She turned her face away.
+ Nearer she moved to a crouching darkness
+ With every step and day.
+
+ Death, who at first had thought of her only an instant,
+ At a great distance, across the night,
+ Smiled from a window upon her, and followed her slowly
+ From purple light to light.
+
+ Once, in her dreams, he spoke out clearly, crying,
+ 'I am the murderer, death.
+ I am the lover who keeps his appointment
+ At the doors of breath!'
+
+ She rose and stared at her own reflection,
+ Half dreading there to find
+ The dark-eyed ghost, waiting beside her,
+ Or reaching from behind
+ To lay pale hands upon her shoulders . . .
+ Or was this in her mind? . . .
+
+ She combed her hair. The sunlight glimmered
+ Along the tossing strands.
+ Was there a stillness in this hair,--
+ A quiet in these hands?
+
+ Death was a dream. It could not change these eyes,
+ Blow out their light, or turn this mouth to dust.
+ She combed her hair and sang. She would live forever.
+ Leaves flew past her window along a gust . . .
+ And graves were dug in the earth, and coffins passed,
+ And music ebbed with the ebbing hours.
+ And dreams went along her veins, and scattering clouds
+ Threw streaming shadows on walls and towers.
+
+
+ XI.
+
+ Snow falls. The sky is grey, and sullenly glares
+ With purple lights in the canyoned street.
+ The fiery sign on the dark tower wreathes and flares . . .
+ The trodden grass in the park is covered with white,
+ The streets grow silent beneath our feet . . .
+ The city dreams, it forgets its past to-night.
+
+ And one, from his high bright window looking down
+ Over the enchanted whiteness of the town,
+ Seeing through whirls of white the vague grey towers,
+ Desires like this to forget what will not pass,
+ The littered papers, the dust, the tarnished grass,
+ Grey death, stale ugliness, and sodden hours.
+ Deep in his heart old bells are beaten again,
+ Slurred bells of grief and pain,
+ Dull echoes of hideous times and poisonous places.
+ He desires to drown in a cold white peace of snow.
+ He desires to forget a million faces . . .
+
+ In one room breathes a woman who dies of hunger.
+ The clock ticks slowly and stops. And no one winds it.
+ In one room fade grey violets in a vase.
+ Snow flakes faintly hiss and melt on the window.
+ In one room, minute by minute, the flutist plays
+ The lamplit page of music, the tireless scales.
+ His hands are trembling, his short breath fails.
+
+ In one room, silently, lover looks upon lover,
+ And thinks the air is fire.
+ The drunkard swears and touches the harlot's heartstrings
+ With the sudden hand of desire.
+
+ And one goes late in the streets, and thinks of murder;
+ And one lies staring, and thinks of death.
+ And one, who has suffered, clenches her hands despairing,
+ And holds her breath . . .
+
+ Who are all these, who flow in the veins of the city,
+ Coil and revolve and dream,
+ Vanish or gleam?
+ Some mount up to the brain and flower in fire.
+ Some are destroyed; some die; some slowly stream.
+
+ And the new are born who desire to destroy the old;
+ And fires are kindled and quenched; and dreams are broken,
+ And walls flung down . . .
+ And the slow night whirls in snow over towers of dreamers,
+ And whiteness hushes the town.
+
+
+
+
+PART III
+
+
+ I
+
+ As evening falls,
+ And the yellow lights leap one by one
+ Along high walls;
+ And along black streets that glisten as if with rain,
+ The muted city seems
+ Like one in a restless sleep, who lies and dreams
+ Of vague desires, and memories, and half-forgotten pain . . .
+ Along dark veins, like lights the quick dreams run,
+ Flash, are extinguished, flash again,
+ To mingle and glow at last in the enormous brain
+ And die away . . .
+ As evening falls,
+ A dream dissolves these insubstantial walls,--
+ A myriad secretly gliding lights lie bare . . .
+ The lovers rise, the harlot combs her hair,
+ The dead man's face grows blue in the dizzy lamplight,
+ The watchman climbs the stair . . .
+ The bank defaulter leers at a chaos of figures,
+ And runs among them, and is beaten down;
+ The sick man coughs and hears the chisels ringing;
+ The tired clown
+ Sees the enormous crowd, a million faces,
+ Motionless in their places,
+ Ready to laugh, and seize, and crush and tear . . .
+ The dancer smooths her hair,
+ Laces her golden slippers, and runs through the door
+ To dance once more,
+ Hearing swift music like an enchantment rise,
+ Feeling the praise of a thousand eyes.
+
+ As darkness falls
+ The walls grow luminous and warm, the walls
+ Tremble and glow with the lives within them moving,
+ Moving like music, secret and rich and warm.
+ How shall we live tonight? Where shall we turn?
+ To what new light or darkness yearn?
+ A thousand winding stairs lead down before us;
+ And one by one in myriads we descend
+ By lamplit flowered walls, long balustrades,
+ Through half-lit halls which reach no end.
+
+
+ II. THE SCREEN MAIDEN
+
+ You read--what is it, then that you are reading?
+ What music moves so silently in your mind?
+ Your bright hand turns the page.
+ I watch you from my window, unsuspected:
+ You move in an alien land, a silent age . . .
+
+ . . . The poet--what was his name--? Tokkei--Tokkei--
+ The poet walked alone in a cold late rain,
+ And thought his grief was like the crying of sea-birds;
+ For his lover was dead, he never would love again.
+
+ Rain in the dreams of the mind--rain forever--
+ Rain in the sky of the heart--rain in the willows--
+ But then he saw this face, this face like flame,
+ This quiet lady, this portrait by Hiroshigi;
+ And took it home with him; and with it came
+
+ What unexpected changes, subtle as weather!
+ The dark room, cold as rain,
+ Grew faintly fragrant, stirred with a stir of April,
+ Warmed its corners with light again,
+
+ And smoke of incense whirled about this portrait,
+ And the quiet lady there,
+ So young, so quietly smiling, with calm hands,
+ Seemed ready to loose her hair,
+
+ And smile, and lean from the picture, or say one word,
+ The word already clear,
+ Which seemed to rise like light between her eyelids . .
+ He held his breath to hear,
+
+ And smiled for shame, and drank a cup of wine,
+ And held a candle, and searched her face
+ Through all the little shadows, to see what secret
+ Might give so warm a grace . . .
+
+ Was it the quiet mouth, restrained a little?
+ The eyes, half-turned aside?
+ The jade ring on her wrist, still almost swinging? . . .
+ The secret was denied,
+
+ He chose his favorite pen and drew these verses,
+ And slept; and as he slept
+ A dream came into his heart, his lover entered,
+ And chided him, and wept.
+
+ And in the morning, waking, he remembered,
+ And thought the dream was strange.
+ Why did his darkened lover rise from the garden?
+ He turned, and felt a change,
+
+ As if a someone hidden smiled and watched him . . .
+ Yet there was only sunlight there.
+ Until he saw those young eyes, quietly smiling,
+ And held his breath to stare,
+
+ And could have sworn her cheek had turned--a little . . .
+ Had slightly turned away . . .
+ Sunlight dozed on the floor . . . He sat and wondered,
+ Nor left his room that day.
+
+ And that day, and for many days thereafter,
+ He sat alone, and thought
+ No lady had ever lived so beautiful
+ As Hiroshigi wrought . . .
+
+ Or if she lived, no matter in what country,
+ By what far river or hill or lonely sea,
+ He would look in every face until he found her . . .
+ There was no other as fair as she.
+
+ And before her quiet face he burned soft incense,
+ And brought her every day
+ Boughs of the peach, or almond, or snow-white cherry,
+ And somehow, she seemed to say,
+
+ That silent lady, young, and quietly smiling,
+ That she was happy there;
+ And sometimes, seeing this, he started to tremble,
+ And desired to touch her hair,
+
+ To lay his palm along her hand, touch faintly
+ With delicate finger-tips
+ The ghostly smile that seemed to hover and vanish
+ Upon her lips . . .
+
+ Until he knew he loved this quiet lady;
+ And night by night a dread
+ Leered at his dreams, for he knew that Hiroshigi
+ Was many centuries dead,--
+
+ And the lady, too, was dead, and all who knew her . .
+ Dead, and long turned to dust . . .
+ The thin moon waxed and waned, and left him paler,
+ The peach leaves flew in a gust,
+
+ And he would surely have died; but there one day
+ A wise man, white with age,
+ Stared at the portrait, and said, 'This Hiroshigi
+ Knew more than archimage,--
+
+ Cunningly drew the body, and called the spirit,
+ Till partly it entered there . . .
+ Sometimes, at death, it entered the portrait wholly . .
+ Do all I say with care,
+
+ And she you love may come to you when you call her . . . '
+ So then this ghost, Tokkei,
+ Ran in the sun, bought wine of a hundred merchants,
+ And alone at the end of day
+
+ Entered the darkening room, and faced the portrait,
+ And saw the quiet eyes
+ Gleaming and young in the dusk, and held the wine-cup,
+ And knelt, and did not rise,
+
+ And said, aloud, 'Lo-san, will you drink this wine?'
+ Said it three times aloud.
+ And at the third the faint blue smoke of incense
+ Rose to the walls in a cloud,
+
+ And the lips moved faintly, and the eyes, and the calm hands stirred;
+ And suddenly, with a sigh,
+ The quiet lady came slowly down from the portrait,
+ And stood, while worlds went by,
+
+ And lifted her young white hands and took the wine cup;
+ And the poet trembled, and said,
+ 'Lo-san, will you stay forever?'--'Yes, I will stay.'--
+ 'But what when I am dead?'
+
+ 'When you are dead your spirit will find my spirit,
+ And then we shall die no more.'
+ Music came down upon them, and spring returning,
+ They remembered worlds before,
+
+ And years went over the earth, and over the sea,
+ And lovers were born and spoke and died,
+ But forever in sunlight went these two immortal,
+ Tokkei and the quiet bride . . .
+
+
+ III. HAUNTED CHAMBERS
+
+ The lamplit page is turned, the dream forgotten;
+ The music changes tone, you wake, remember
+ Deep worlds you lived before,--deep worlds hereafter
+ Of leaf on falling leaf, music on music,
+ Rain and sorrow and wind and dust and laughter.
+
+ Helen was late and Miriam came too soon.
+ Joseph was dead, his wife and children starving.
+ Elaine was married and soon to have a child.
+ You dreamed last night of fiddler-crabs with fiddles;
+ They played a buzzing melody, and you smiled.
+
+ To-morrow--what? And what of yesterday?
+ Through soundless labyrinths of dream you pass,
+ Through many doors to the one door of all.
+ Soon as it's opened we shall hear a music:
+ Or see a skeleton fall . . .
+
+ We walk with you. Where is it that you lead us?
+ We climb the muffled stairs beneath high lanterns.
+ We descend again. We grope through darkened cells.
+ You say: this darkness, here, will slowly kill me.
+ It creeps and weighs upon me . . . Is full of bells.
+
+ This is the thing remembered I would forget--
+ No matter where I go, how soft I tread,
+ This windy gesture menaces me with death.
+ Fatigue! it says, and points its finger at me;
+ Touches my throat and stops my breath.
+
+ My fans--my jewels--the portrait of my husband--
+ The torn certificate for my daughter's grave--
+ These are but mortal seconds in immortal time.
+ They brush me, fade away: like drops of water.
+ They signify no crime.
+
+ Let us retrace our steps: I have deceived you:
+ Nothing is here I could not frankly tell you:
+ No hint of guilt, or faithlessness, or threat.
+ Dreams--they are madness. Staring eyes--illusion.
+ Let us return, hear music, and forget . . .
+
+
+ IV. ILLICIT
+
+ Of what she said to me that night--no matter.
+ The strange thing came next day.
+ My brain was full of music--something she played me--;
+ I couldn't remember it all, but phrases of it
+ Wreathed and wreathed among faint memories,
+ Seeking for something, trying to tell me something,
+ Urging to restlessness: verging on grief.
+ I tried to play the tune, from memory,--
+ But memory failed: the chords and discords climbed
+ And found no resolution--only hung there,
+ And left me morbid . . . Where, then, had I heard it? . . .
+ What secret dusty chamber was it hinting?
+ 'Dust', it said, 'dust . . . and dust . . . and sunlight . .
+ A cold clear April evening . . . snow, bedraggled,
+ Rain-worn snow, dappling the hideous grass . . .
+ And someone walking alone; and someone saying
+ That all must end, for the time had come to go . . . '
+ These were the phrases . . . but behind, beneath them
+ A greater shadow moved: and in this shadow
+ I stood and guessed . . . Was it the blue-eyed lady?
+ The one who always danced in golden slippers--
+ And had I danced with her,--upon this music?
+ Or was it further back--the unplumbed twilight
+ Of childhood?--No--much recenter than that.
+
+ You know, without my telling you, how sometimes
+ A word or name eludes you, and you seek it
+ Through running ghosts of shadow,--leaping at it,
+ Lying in wait for it to spring upon it,
+ Spreading faint snares for it of sense or sound:
+ Until, of a sudden, as if in a phantom forest,
+ You hear it, see it flash among the branches,
+ And scarcely knowing how, suddenly have it--
+ Well, it was so I followed down this music,
+ Glimpsing a face in darkness, hearing a cry,
+ Remembering days forgotten, moods exhausted,
+ Corners in sunlight, puddles reflecting stars--;
+ Until, of a sudden, and least of all suspected,
+ The thing resolved itself: and I remembered
+ An April afternoon, eight years ago--
+ Or was it nine?--no matter--call it nine--
+ A room in which the last of sunlight faded;
+ A vase of violets, fragrance in white curtains;
+ And, she who played the same thing later, playing.
+
+ She played this tune. And in the middle of it
+ Abruptly broke it off, letting her hands
+ Fall in her lap. She sat there so a moment,
+ With shoulders drooped, then lifted up a rose,
+ One great white rose, wide opened like a lotos,
+ And pressed it to her cheek, and closed her eyes.
+
+ 'You know--we've got to end this--Miriam loves you . . .
+ If she should ever know, or even guess it,--
+ What would she do?--Listen!--I'm not absurd . . .
+ I'm sure of it. If you had eyes, for women--
+ To understand them--which you've never had--
+ You'd know it too . . . ' So went this colloquy,
+ Half humorous, with undertones of pathos,
+ Half grave, half flippant . . . while her fingers, softly,
+ Felt for this tune, played it and let it fall,
+ Now note by singing note, now chord by chord,
+ Repeating phrases with a kind of pleasure . . .
+ Was it symbolic of the woman's weakness
+ That she could neither break it--nor conclude?
+ It paused . . . and wandered . . . paused again; while she,
+ Perplexed and tired, half told me I must go,--
+ Half asked me if I thought I ought to go . . .
+
+ Well, April passed with many other evenings,
+ Evenings like this, with later suns and warmer,
+ With violets always there, and fragrant curtains . . .
+ And she was right: and Miriam found it out . . .
+ And after that, when eight deep years had passed--
+ Or nine--we met once more,--by accident . . .
+ But was it just by accident, I wonder,
+ She played this tune?--Or what, then, was intended? . . .
+
+
+ V. MELODY IN A RESTAURANT
+
+ The cigarette-smoke loops and slides above us,
+ Dipping and swirling as the waiter passes;
+ You strike a match and stare upon the flame.
+ The tiny fire leaps in your eyes a moment,
+ And dwindles away as silently as it came.
+
+ This melody, you say, has certain voices--
+ They rise like nereids from a river, singing,
+ Lift white faces, and dive to darkness again.
+ Wherever you go you bear this river with you:
+ A leaf falls,--and it flows, and you have pain.
+
+ So says the tune to you--but what to me?
+ What to the waiter, as he pours your coffee,
+ The violinist who suavely draws his bow?
+ That man, who folds his paper, overhears it.
+ A thousand dreams revolve and fall and flow.
+
+ Some one there is who sees a virgin stepping
+ Down marble stairs to a deep tomb of roses:
+ At the last moment she lifts remembering eyes.
+ Green leaves blow down. The place is checked with shadows.
+ A long-drawn murmur of rain goes down the skies.
+ And oaks are stripped and bare, and smoke with lightning:
+ And clouds are blown and torn upon high forests,
+ And the great sea shakes its walls.
+ And then falls silence . . . And through long silence falls
+ This melody once more:
+ 'Down endless stairs she goes, as once before.'
+
+ So says the tune to him--but what to me?
+ What are the worlds I see?
+ What shapes fantastic, terrible dreams? . . .
+ I go my secret way, down secret alleys;
+ My errand is not so simple as it seems.
+
+
+ VI. PORTRAIT OF ONE DEAD
+
+ This is the house. On one side there is darkness,
+ On one side there is light.
+ Into the darkness you may lift your lanterns--
+ O, any number--it will still be night.
+ And here are echoing stairs to lead you downward
+ To long sonorous halls.
+ And here is spring forever at these windows,
+ With roses on the walls.
+
+ This is her room. On one side there is music--
+ On one side not a sound.
+ At one step she could move from love to silence,
+ Feel myriad darkness coiling round.
+ And here are balconies from which she heard you,
+ Your steady footsteps on the stair.
+ And here the glass in which she saw your shadow
+ As she unbound her hair.
+
+ Here is the room--with ghostly walls dissolving--
+ The twilight room in which she called you 'lover';
+ And the floorless room in which she called you 'friend.'
+ So many times, in doubt, she ran between them!--
+ Through windy corridors of darkening end.
+
+ Here she could stand with one dim light above her
+ And hear far music, like a sea in caverns,
+ Murmur away at hollowed walls of stone.
+ And here, in a roofless room where it was raining,
+ She bore the patient sorrow of rain alone.
+
+ Your words were walls which suddenly froze around her.
+ Your words were windows,--large enough for moonlight,
+ Too small to let her through.
+ Your letters--fragrant cloisters faint with music.
+ The music that assuaged her there was you.
+
+ How many times she heard your step ascending
+ Yet never saw your face!
+ She heard them turn again, ring slowly fainter,
+ Till silence swept the place.
+ Why had you gone? . . . The door, perhaps, mistaken . . .
+ You would go elsewhere. The deep walls were shaken.
+
+ A certain rose-leaf--sent without intention--
+ Became, with time, a woven web of fire--
+ She wore it, and was warm.
+ A certain hurried glance, let fall at parting,
+ Became, with time, the flashings of a storm.
+
+ Yet, there was nothing asked, no hint to tell you
+ Of secret idols carved in secret chambers
+ From all you did and said.
+ Nothing was done, until at last she knew you.
+ Nothing was known, till, somehow, she was dead.
+
+ How did she die?--You say, she died of poison.
+ Simple and swift. And much to be regretted.
+ You did not see her pass
+ So many thousand times from light to darkness,
+ Pausing so many times before her glass;
+
+ You did not see how many times she hurried
+ To lean from certain windows, vainly hoping,
+ Passionate still for beauty, remembered spring.
+ You did not know how long she clung to music,
+ You did not hear her sing.
+
+ Did she, then, make the choice, and step out bravely
+ From sound to silence--close, herself, those windows?
+ Or was it true, instead,
+ That darkness moved,--for once,--and so possessed her? . . .
+ We'll never know, you say, for she is dead.
+
+
+ VII. PORCELAIN
+
+ You see that porcelain ranged there in the window--
+ Platters and soup-plates done with pale pink rosebuds,
+ And tiny violets, and wreaths of ivy?
+ See how the pattern clings to the gleaming edges!
+ They're works of art--minutely seen and felt,
+ Each petal done devoutly. Is it failure
+ To spend your blood like this?
+
+ Study them . . . you will see there, in the porcelain,
+ If you stare hard enough, a sort of swimming
+ Of lights and shadows, ghosts within a crystal--
+ My brain unfolding! There you'll see me sitting
+ Day after day, close to a certain window,
+ Looking down, sometimes, to see the people . . .
+
+ Sometimes my wife comes there to speak to me . . .
+ Sometimes the grey cat waves his tail around me . . .
+ Goldfish swim in a bowl, glisten in sunlight,
+ Dilate to a gorgeous size, blow delicate bubbles,
+ Drowse among dark green weeds. On rainy days,
+ You'll see a gas-light shedding light behind me--
+ An eye-shade round my forehead. There I sit,
+ Twirling the tiny brushes in my paint-cups,
+ Painting the pale pink rosebuds, minute violets,
+ Exquisite wreaths of dark green ivy leaves.
+ On this leaf, goes a dream I dreamed last night
+ Of two soft-patterned toads--I thought them stones,
+ Until they hopped! And then a great black spider,--
+ Tarantula, perhaps, a hideous thing,--
+ It crossed the room in one tremendous leap.
+ Here,--as I coil the stems between two leaves,--
+ It is as if, dwindling to atomy size,
+ I cried the secret between two universes . . .
+ A friend of mine took hasheesh once, and said
+ Just as he fell asleep he had a dream,--
+ Though with his eyes wide open,--
+ And felt, or saw, or knew himself a part
+ Of marvelous slowly-wreathing intricate patterns,
+ Plane upon plane, depth upon coiling depth,
+ Amazing leaves, folding one on another,
+ Voluted grasses, twists and curves and spirals--
+ All of it darkly moving . . . as for me,
+ I need no hasheesh for it--it's too easy!
+ Soon as I shut my eyes I set out walking
+ In a monstrous jungle of monstrous pale pink roseleaves,
+ Violets purple as death, dripping with water,
+ And ivy-leaves as big as clouds above me.
+
+ Here, in a simple pattern of separate violets--
+ With scalloped edges gilded--here you have me
+ Thinking of something else. My wife, you know,--
+ There's something lacking--force, or will, or passion,
+ I don't know what it is--and so, sometimes,
+ When I am tired, or haven't slept three nights,
+ Or it is cloudy, with low threat of rain,
+ I get uneasy--just like poplar trees
+ Ruffling their leaves--and I begin to think
+ Of poor Pauline, so many years ago,
+ And that delicious night. Where is she now?
+ I meant to write--but she has moved, by this time,
+ And then, besides, she might find out I'm married.
+ Well, there is more--I'm getting old and timid--
+ The years have gnawed my will. I've lost my nerve!
+ I never strike out boldly as I used to--
+ But sit here, painting violets, and remember
+ That thrilling night. Photographers, she said,
+ Asked her to pose for them; her eyes and forehead,--
+ Dark brown eyes, and a smooth and pallid forehead,--
+ Were thought so beautiful.--And so they were.
+ Pauline . . . These violets are like words remembered . . .
+ Darling! she whispered . . . Darling! . . . Darling! . . . Darling!
+ Well, I suppose such days can come but once.
+ Lord, how happy we were! . . .
+
+ Here, if you only knew it, is a story--
+ Here, in these leaves. I stopped my work to tell it,
+ And then, when I had finished, went on thinking:
+ A man I saw on a train . . . I was still a boy . . .
+ Who killed himself by diving against a wall.
+ Here is a recollection of my wife,
+ When she was still my sweetheart, years ago.
+ It's funny how things change,--just change, by growing,
+ Without an effort . . . And here are trivial things,--
+ A chill, an errand forgotten, a cut while shaving;
+ A friend of mine who tells me he is married . . .
+ Or is that last so trivial? Well, no matter!
+
+ This is the sort of thing you'll see of me,
+ If you look hard enough. This, in its way,
+ Is a kind of fame. My life arranged before you
+ In scrolls of leaves, rosebuds, violets, ivy,
+ Clustered or wreathed on plate and cup and platter . . .
+ Sometimes, I say, I'm just like John the Baptist--
+ You have my head before you . . . on a platter.
+
+
+ VIII. COFFINS: INTERLUDE
+
+ Wind blows. Snow falls. The great clock in its tower
+ Ticks with reverberant coil and tolls the hour:
+ At the deep sudden stroke the pigeons fly . . .
+ The fine snow flutes the cracks between the flagstones.
+ We close our coats, and hurry, and search the sky.
+
+ We are like music, each voice of it pursuing
+ A golden separate dream, remote, persistent,
+ Climbing to fire, receding to hoarse despair.
+ What do you whisper, brother? What do you tell me? . . .
+ We pass each other, are lost, and do not care.
+
+ One mounts up to beauty, serenely singing,
+ Forgetful of the steps that cry behind him;
+ One drifts slowly down from a waking dream.
+ One, foreseeing, lingers forever unmoving . . .
+ Upward and downward, past him there, we stream.
+
+ One has death in his eyes: and walks more slowly.
+ Death, among jonquils, told him a freezing secret.
+ A cloud blows over his eyes, he ponders earth.
+ He sees in the world a forest of sunlit jonquils:
+ A slow black poison huddles beneath that mirth.
+
+ Death, from street to alley, from door to window,
+ Cries out his news,--of unplumbed worlds approaching,
+ Of a cloud of darkness soon to destroy the tower.
+ But why comes death,--he asks,--in a world so perfect?
+ Or why the minute's grey in the golden hour?
+
+ Music, a sudden glissando, sinister, troubled,
+ A drift of wind-torn petals, before him passes
+ Down jangled streets, and dies.
+ The bodies of old and young, of maimed and lovely,
+ Are slowly borne to earth, with a dirge of cries.
+
+ Down cobbled streets they come; down huddled stairways;
+ Through silent halls; through carven golden doorways;
+ From freezing rooms as bare as rock.
+ The curtains are closed across deserted windows.
+ Earth streams out of the shovel; the pebbles knock.
+
+ Mary, whose hands rejoiced to move in sunlight;
+ Silent Elaine; grave Anne, who sang so clearly;
+ Fugitive Helen, who loved and walked alone;
+ Miriam too soon dead, darkly remembered;
+ Childless Ruth, who sorrowed, but could not atone;
+
+ Jean, whose laughter flashed over depths of terror,
+ And Eloise, who desired to love but dared not;
+ Doris, who turned alone to the dark and cried,--
+ They are blown away like windflung chords of music,
+ They drift away; the sudden music has died.
+
+ And one, with death in his eyes, comes walking slowly
+ And sees the shadow of death in many faces,
+ And thinks the world is strange.
+ He desires immortal music and spring forever,
+ And beauty that knows no change.
+
+
+ IX. CABARET
+
+ We sit together and talk, or smoke in silence.
+ You say (but use no words) 'this night is passing
+ As other nights when we are dead will pass . . .'
+ Perhaps I misconstrue you: you mean only,
+ 'How deathly pale my face looks in that glass . . .'
+
+ You say: 'We sit and talk, of things important . . .
+ How many others like ourselves, this instant,
+ Mark the pendulum swinging against the wall?
+ How many others, laughing, sip their coffee--
+ Or stare at mirrors, and do not talk at all? . . .
+
+ 'This is the moment' (so you would say, in silence)
+ When suddenly we have had too much of laughter:
+ And a freezing stillness falls, no word to say.
+ Our mouths feel foolish . . . For all the days hereafter
+ What have we saved--what news, what tune, what play?
+
+ 'We see each other as vain and futile tricksters,--
+ Posturing like bald apes before a mirror;
+ No pity dims our eyes . . .
+ How many others, like ourselves, this instant,
+ See how the great world wizens, and are wise? . . .'
+
+ Well, you are right . . . No doubt, they fall, these seconds . . .
+ When suddenly all's distempered, vacuous, ugly,
+ And even those most like angels creep for schemes.
+ The one you love leans forward, smiles, deceives you,
+ Opens a door through which you see dark dreams.
+
+ But this is momentary . . . or else, enduring,
+ Leads you with devious eyes through mists and poisons
+ To horrible chaos, or suicide, or crime . . .
+ And all these others who at your conjuration
+ Grow pale, feeling the skeleton touch of time,--
+
+ Or, laughing sadly, talk of things important,
+ Or stare at mirrors, startled to see their faces,
+ Or drown in the waveless vacuum of their days,--
+ Suddenly, as from sleep, awake, forgetting
+ This nauseous dream; take up their accustomed ways,
+
+ Exhume the ghost of a joke, renew loud laughter,
+ Forget the moles above their sweethearts' eyebrows,
+ Lean to the music, rise,
+ And dance once more in a rose-festooned illusion
+ With kindness in their eyes . . .
+
+ They say (as we ourselves have said, remember)
+ 'What wizardry this slow waltz works upon us!
+ And how it brings to mind forgotten things!'
+ They say 'How strange it is that one such evening
+ Can wake vague memories of so many springs!'
+
+ And so they go . . . In a thousand crowded places,
+ They sit to smile and talk, or rise to ragtime,
+ And, for their pleasures, agree or disagree.
+ With secret symbols they play on secret passions.
+ With cunning eyes they see
+
+ The innocent word that sets remembrance trembling,
+ The dubious word that sets the scared heart beating . . .
+ The pendulum on the wall
+ Shakes down seconds . . . They laugh at time, dissembling;
+ Or coil for a victim and do not talk at all.
+
+
+ X. LETTER
+
+ From time to time, lifting his eyes, he sees
+ The soft blue starlight through the one small window,
+ The moon above black trees, and clouds, and Venus,--
+ And turns to write . . . The clock, behind ticks softly.
+
+ It is so long, indeed, since I have written,--
+ Two years, almost, your last is turning yellow,--
+ That these first words I write seem cold and strange.
+ Are you the man I knew, or have you altered?
+ Altered, of course--just as I too have altered--
+ And whether towards each other, or more apart,
+ We cannot say . . . I've just re-read your letter--
+ Not through forgetfulness, but more for pleasure--
+
+ Pondering much on all you say in it
+ Of mystic consciousness--divine conversion--
+ The sense of oneness with the infinite,--
+ Faith in the world, its beauty, and its purpose . . .
+ Well, you believe one must have faith, in some sort,
+ If one's to talk through this dark world contented.
+ But is the world so dark? Or is it rather
+ Our own brute minds,--in which we hurry, trembling,
+ Through streets as yet unlighted? This, I think.
+
+ You have been always, let me say, "romantic,"--
+ Eager for color, for beauty, soon discontented
+ With a world of dust and stones and flesh too ailing:
+ Even before the question grew to problem
+ And drove you bickering into metaphysics,
+ You met on lower planes the same great dragon,
+ Seeking release, some fleeting satisfaction,
+ In strange aesthetics . . . You tried, as I remember,
+ One after one, strange cults, and some, too, morbid,
+ The cruder first, more violent sensations,
+ Gorgeously carnal things, conceived and acted
+ With splendid animal thirst . . . Then, by degrees,--
+ Savoring all more delicate gradations
+
+ In all that hue and tone may play on flesh,
+ Or thought on brain,--you passed, if I may say so,
+ From red and scarlet through morbid greens to mauve.
+ Let us regard ourselves, you used to say,
+ As instruments of music, whereon our lives
+ Will play as we desire: and let us yield
+ These subtle bodies and subtler brains and nerves
+ To all experience plays . . . And so you went
+ From subtle tune to subtler, each heard once,
+ Twice or thrice at the most, tiring of each;
+ And closing one by one your doors, drew in
+ Slowly, through darkening labyrinths of feeling,
+ Towards the central chamber . . . Which now you've reached.
+
+ What, then's, the secret of this ultimate chamber--
+ Or innermost, rather? If I see it clearly
+ It is the last, and cunningest, resort
+ Of one who has found this world of dust and flesh,--
+ This world of lamentations, death, injustice,
+ Sickness, humiliation, slow defeat,
+ Bareness, and ugliness, and iteration,--
+ Too meaningless; or, if it has a meaning,
+ Too tiresomely insistent on one meaning:
+
+ Futility . . . This world, I hear you saying,--
+ With lifted chin, and arm in outflung gesture,
+ Coldly imperious,--this transient world,
+ What has it then to give, if not containing
+ Deep hints of nobler worlds? We know its beauties,--
+ Momentary and trivial for the most part,
+ Perceived through flesh, passing like flesh away,--
+ And know how much outweighed they are by darkness.
+ We are like searchers in a house of darkness,
+ A house of dust; we creep with little lanterns,
+ Throwing our tremulous arcs of light at random,
+ Now here, now there, seeing a plane, an angle,
+ An edge, a curve, a wall, a broken stairway
+ Leading to who knows what; but never seeing
+ The whole at once . . . We grope our way a little,
+ And then grow tired. No matter what we touch,
+ Dust is the answer--dust: dust everywhere.
+ If this were all--what were the use, you ask?
+ But this is not: for why should we be seeking,
+ Why should we bring this need to seek for beauty,
+ To lift our minds, if there were only dust?
+ This is the central chamber you have come to:
+ Turning your back to the world, until you came
+ To this deep room, and looked through rose-stained windows,
+ And saw the hues of the world so sweetly changed.
+
+ Well, in a measure, so only do we all.
+ I am not sure that you can be refuted.
+ At the very last we all put faith in something,--
+ You in this ghost that animates your world,
+ This ethical ghost,--and I, you'll say, in reason,--
+ Or sensuous beauty,--or in my secret self . . .
+ Though as for that you put your faith in these,
+ As much as I do--and then, forsaking reason,--
+ Ascending, you would say, to intuition,--
+ You predicate this ghost of yours, as well.
+ Of course, you might have argued,--and you should have,--
+ That no such deep appearance of design
+ Could shape our world without entailing purpose:
+ For can design exist without a purpose?
+ Without conceiving mind? . . . We are like children
+ Who find, upon the sands, beside a sea,
+ Strange patterns drawn,--circles, arcs, ellipses,
+ Moulded in sand . . . Who put them there, we wonder?
+
+ Did someone draw them here before we came?
+ Or was it just the sea?--We pore upon them,
+ But find no answer--only suppositions.
+ And if these perfect shapes are evidence
+ Of immanent mind, it is but circumstantial:
+ We never come upon him at his work,
+ He never troubles us. He stands aloof--
+ Well, if he stands at all: is not concerned
+ With what we are or do. You, if you like,
+ May think he broods upon us, loves us, hates us,
+ Conceives some purpose of us. In so doing
+ You see, without much reason, will in law.
+ I am content to say, 'this world is ordered,
+ Happily so for us, by accident:
+ We go our ways untroubled save by laws
+ Of natural things.' Who makes the more assumption?
+
+ If we were wise--which God knows we are not--
+ (Notice I call on God!) we'd plumb this riddle
+ Not in the world we see, but in ourselves.
+ These brains of ours--these delicate spinal clusters--
+ Have limits: why not learn them, learn their cravings?
+ Which of the two minds, yours or mine, is sound?
+ Yours, which scorned the world that gave it freedom,
+ Until you managed to see that world as omen,--
+ Or mine, which likes the world, takes all for granted,
+ Sorrow as much as joy, and death as life?--
+ You lean on dreams, and take more credit for it.
+ I stand alone . . . Well, I take credit, too.
+ You find your pleasure in being at one with all things--
+ Fusing in lambent dream, rising and falling
+ As all things rise and fall . . . I do that too--
+ With reservations. I find more varied pleasure
+ In understanding: and so find beauty even
+ In this strange dream of yours you call the truth.
+
+ Well, I have bored you. And it's growing late.
+ For household news--what have you heard, I wonder?
+ You must have heard that Paul was dead, by this time--
+ Of spinal cancer. Nothing could be done--
+ We found it out too late. His death has changed me,
+ Deflected much of me that lived as he lived,
+ Saddened me, slowed me down. Such things will happen,
+ Life is composed of them; and it seems wisdom
+ To see them clearly, meditate upon them,
+ And understand what things flow out of them.
+ Otherwise, all goes on here much as always.
+ Why won't you come and see us, in the spring,
+ And bring old times with you?--If you could see me
+ Sitting here by the window, watching Venus
+ Go down behind my neighbor's poplar branches,--
+ Just where you used to sit,--I'm sure you'd come.
+ This year, they say, the springtime will be early.
+
+
+ XI. CONVERSATION: UNDERTONES
+
+ What shall we talk of? Li Po? Hokusai?
+ You narrow your long dark eyes to fascinate me;
+ You smile a little. . . . Outside, the night goes by.
+ I walk alone in a forest of ghostly trees . . .
+ Your pale hands rest palm downwards on your knees.
+
+ 'These lines--converging, they suggest such distance!
+ The soul is drawn away, beyond horizons.
+ Lured out to what? One dares not think.
+ Sometimes, I glimpse these infinite perspectives
+ In intimate talk (with such as you) and shrink . . .
+
+ 'One feels so petty!--One feels such--emptiness!--'
+ You mimic horror, let fall your lifted hand,
+ And smile at me; with brooding tenderness . . .
+ Alone on darkened waters I fall and rise;
+ Slow waves above me break, faint waves of cries.
+
+ 'And then these colors . . . but who would dare describe them?
+ This faint rose-coral pink . . this green--pistachio?--
+ So insubstantial! Like the dim ghostly things
+ Two lovers find in love's still-twilight chambers . . .
+ Old peacock-fans, and fragrant silks, and rings . . .
+
+ 'Rings, let us say, drawn from the hapless fingers
+ Of some great lady, many centuries nameless,--
+ Or is that too sepulchral?--dulled with dust;
+ And necklaces that crumble if you touch them;
+ And gold brocades that, breathed on, fall to rust.
+
+ 'No--I am wrong . . . it is not these I sought for--!
+ Why did they come to mind? You understand me--
+ You know these strange vagaries of the brain!--'
+ --I walk alone in a forest of ghostly trees;
+ Your pale hands rest palm downwards on your knees;
+ These strange vagaries of yours are all too plain.
+
+ 'But why perplex ourselves with tedious problems
+ Of art or . . . such things? . . . while we sit here, living,
+ With all that's in our secret hearts to say!--'
+ Hearts?--Your pale hand softly strokes the satin.
+ You play deep music--know well what you play.
+ You stroke the satin with thrilling of finger-tips,
+ You smile, with faintly perfumed lips,
+ You loose your thoughts like birds,
+ Brushing our dreams with soft and shadowy words . .
+ We know your words are foolish, yet sit here bound
+ In tremulous webs of sound.
+
+ 'How beautiful is intimate talk like this!--
+ It is as if we dissolved grey walls between us,
+ Stepped through the solid portals, become but shadows,
+ To hear a hidden music . . . Our own vast shadows
+ Lean to a giant size on the windy walls,
+ Or dwindle away; we hear our soft footfalls
+ Echo forever behind us, ghostly clear,
+ Music sings far off, flows suddenly near,
+ And dies away like rain . . .
+ We walk through subterranean caves again,--
+ Vaguely above us feeling
+ A shadowy weight of frescos on the ceiling,
+ Strange half-lit things,
+ Soundless grotesques with writhing claws and wings . . .
+ And here a beautiful face looks down upon us;
+ And someone hurries before, unseen, and sings . . .
+ Have we seen all, I wonder, in these chambers--
+ Or is there yet some gorgeous vault, arched low,
+ Where sleeps an amazing beauty we do not know? . . '
+
+ The question falls: we walk in silence together,
+ Thinking of that deep vault and of its secret . . .
+ This lamp, these books, this fire
+ Are suddenly blown away in a whistling darkness.
+ Deep walls crash down in the whirlwind of desire.
+
+
+ XII. WITCHES' SABBATH
+
+ Now, when the moon slid under the cloud
+ And the cold clear dark of starlight fell,
+ He heard in his blood the well-known bell
+ Tolling slowly in heaves of sound,
+ Slowly beating, slowly beating,
+ Shaking its pulse on the stagnant air:
+ Sometimes it swung completely round,
+ Horribly gasping as if for breath;
+ Falling down with an anguished cry . . .
+ Now the red bat, he mused, will fly;
+ Something is marked, this night, for death . . .
+ And while he mused, along his blood
+ Flew ghostly voices, remote and thin,
+ They rose in the cavern of his brain,
+ Like ghosts they died away again;
+ And hands upon his heart were laid,
+ And music upon his flesh was played,
+ Until, as he was bidden to do,
+ He walked the wood he so well knew.
+ Through the cold dew he moved his feet,
+ And heard far off, as under the earth,
+ Discordant music in shuddering tones,
+ Screams of laughter, horrible mirth,
+ Clapping of hands, and thudding of drums,
+ And the long-drawn wail of one in pain.
+ To-night, he thought, I shall die again,
+ We shall die again in the red-eyed fire
+ To meet on the edge of the wood beyond
+ With the placid gaze of fed desire . . .
+ He walked; and behind the whisper of trees,
+ In and out, one walked with him:
+ She parted the branches and peered at him,
+ Through lowered lids her two eyes burned,
+ He heard her breath, he saw her hand,
+ Wherever he turned his way, she turned:
+ Kept pace with him, now fast, now slow;
+ Moving her white knees as he moved . . .
+ This is the one I have always loved;
+ This is the one whose bat-soul comes
+ To dance with me, flesh to flesh,
+ In the starlight dance of horns and drums . . .
+
+ The walls and roofs, the scarlet towers,
+ Sank down behind a rushing sky.
+ He heard a sweet song just begun
+ Abruptly shatter in tones and die.
+ It whirled away. Cold silence fell.
+ And again came tollings of a bell.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ This air is alive with witches: the white witch rides
+ Swifter than smoke on the starlit wind.
+ In the clear darkness, while the moon hides,
+ They come like dreams, like something remembered . .
+ Let us hurry! beloved; take my hand,
+ Forget these things that trouble your eyes,
+ Forget, forget! Our flesh is changed,
+ Lighter than smoke we wreathe and rise . . .
+
+ The cold air hisses between us . . . Beloved, beloved,
+ What was the word you said?
+ Something about clear music that sang through water . . .
+ I cannot remember. The storm-drops break on the leaves.
+ Something was lost in the darkness. Someone is dead.
+ Someone lies in the garden and grieves.
+ Look how the branches are tossed in this air,
+ Flinging their green to the earth!
+ Black clouds rush to devour the stars in the sky,
+ The moon stares down like a half-closed eye.
+ The leaves are scattered, the birds are blown,
+ Oaks crash down in the darkness,
+ We run from our windy shadows; we are running alone.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ The moon was darkened: across it flew
+ The swift grey tenebrous shape he knew,
+ Like a thing of smoke it crossed the sky,
+ The witch! he said. And he heard a cry,
+ And another came, and another came,
+ And one, grown duskily red with blood,
+ Floated an instant across the moon,
+ Hung like a dull fantastic flame . . .
+ The earth has veins: they throb to-night,
+ The earth swells warm beneath my feet,
+ The tips of the trees grow red and bright,
+ The leaves are swollen, I feel them beat,
+ They press together, they push and sigh,
+ They listen to hear the great bat cry,
+ The great red bat with the woman's face . . .
+ Hurry! he said. And pace for pace
+ That other, who trod the dark with him,
+ Crushed the live leaves, reached out white hands
+ And closed her eyes, the better to see
+ The priests with claws, the lovers with hooves,
+ The fire-lit rock, the sarabands.
+ I am here! she said. The bough he broke--
+ Was it the snapping bough that spoke?
+ I am here! she said. The white thigh gleamed
+ Cold in starlight among dark leaves,
+ The head thrown backward as he had dreamed,
+ The shadowy red deep jasper mouth;
+ And the lifted hands, and the virgin breasts,
+ Passed beside him, and vanished away.
+ I am here! she cried. He answered 'Stay!'
+ And laughter arose, and near and far
+ Answering laughter rose and died . . .
+ Who is there? in the dark? he cried.
+ He stood in terror, and heard a sound
+ Of terrible hooves on the hollow ground;
+ They rushed, were still; a silence fell;
+ And he heard deep tollings of a bell.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ Look beloved! Why do you hide your face?
+ Look, in the centre there, above the fire,
+ They are bearing the boy who blasphemed love!
+ They are playing a piercing music upon him
+ With a bow of living wire! . . .
+ The virgin harlot sings,
+ She leans above the beautiful anguished body,
+ And draws slow music from those strings.
+ They dance around him, they fling red roses upon him,
+ They trample him with their naked feet,
+ His cries are lost in laughter,
+ Their feet grow dark with his blood, they beat and
+ beat,
+ They dance upon him, until he cries no more . . .
+ Have we not heard that cry before?
+ Somewhere, somewhere,
+ Beside a sea, in the green evening,
+ Beneath green clouds, in a copper sky . . .
+ Was it you? was it I?
+ They have quenched the fires, they dance in the darkness,
+ The satyrs have run among them to seize and tear,
+ Look! he has caught one by the hair,
+ She screams and falls, he bears her away with him,
+ And the night grows full of whistling wings.
+ Far off, one voice, serene and sweet,
+ Rises and sings . . .
+
+ 'By the clear waters where once I died,
+ In the calm evening bright with stars. . . .'
+ Where have I heard these words? Was it you who sang them?
+ It was long ago.
+ Let us hurry, beloved! the hard hooves trample;
+ The treetops tremble and glow.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ In the clear dark, on silent wings,
+ The red bat hovers beneath her moon;
+ She drops through the fragrant night, and clings
+ Fast in the shadow, with hands like claws,
+ With soft eyes closed and mouth that feeds,
+ To the young white flesh that warmly bleeds.
+ The maidens circle in dance, and raise
+ From lifting throats, a soft-sung praise;
+ Their knees and breasts are white and bare,
+ They have hung pale roses in their hair,
+ Each of them as she dances by
+ Peers at the blood with a narrowed eye.
+ See how the red wing wraps him round,
+ See how the white youth struggles in vain!
+ The weak arms writhe in a soundless pain;
+ He writhes in the soft red veiny wings,
+ But still she whispers upon him and clings. . . .
+ This is the secret feast of love,
+ Look well, look well, before it dies,
+ See how the red one trembles above,
+ See how quiet the white one lies! . . . .
+
+ Wind through the trees. . . . and a voice is heard
+ Singing far off. The dead leaves fall. . . .
+ 'By the clear waters where once I died,
+ In the calm evening bright with stars,
+ One among numberless avatars,
+ I wedded a mortal, a mortal bride,
+ And lay on the stones and gave my flesh,
+ And entered the hunger of him I loved.
+ How shall I ever escape this mesh
+ Or be from my lover's body removed?'
+ Dead leaves stream through the hurrying air
+ And the maenads dance with flying hair.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ The priests with hooves, the lovers with horns,
+ Rise in the starlight, one by one,
+ They draw their knives on the spurting throats,
+ They smear the column with blood of goats,
+ They dabble the blood on hair and lips
+ And wait like stones for the moon's eclipse.
+ They stand like stones and stare at the sky
+ Where the moon leers down like a half-closed eye. . .
+ In the green moonlight still they stand
+ While wind flows over the darkened sand
+ And brood on the soft forgotten things
+ That filled their shadowy yesterdays. . . .
+ Where are the breasts, the scarlet wings? . . . .
+ They gaze at each other with troubled gaze. . . .
+ And then, as the shadow closes the moon,
+ Shout, and strike with their hooves the ground,
+ And rush through the dark, and fill the night
+ With a slowly dying clamor of sound.
+ There, where the great walls crowd the stars,
+ There, by the black wind-riven walls,
+ In a grove of twisted leafless trees. . . .
+ Who are these pilgrims, who are these,
+ These three, the one of whom stands upright,
+ While one lies weeping and one of them crawls?
+ The face that he turned was a wounded face,
+ I heard the dripping of blood on stones. . . .
+ Hooves had trampled and torn this place,
+ And the leaves were strewn with blood and bones.
+ Sometimes, I think, beneath my feet,
+ The warm earth stretches herself and sighs. . . .
+ Listen! I heard the slow heart beat. . . .
+ I will lie on this grass as a lover lies
+ And reach to the north and reach to the south
+ And seek in the darkness for her mouth.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ Beloved, beloved, where the slow waves of the wind
+ Shatter pale foam among great trees,
+ Under the hurrying stars, under the heaving arches,
+ Like one whirled down under shadowy seas,
+ I run to find you, I run and cry,
+ Where are you? Where are you? It is I. It is I.
+ It is your eyes I seek, it is your windy hair,
+ Your starlight body that breathes in the darkness there.
+ Under the darkness I feel you stirring. . . .
+ Is this you? Is this you?
+ Bats in this air go whirring. . . .
+ And this soft mouth that darkly meets my mouth,
+ Is this the soft mouth I knew?
+ Darkness, and wind in the tortured trees;
+ And the patter of dew.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!
+ Dance till the brain is red with speed!
+ Dance till you fall! Lift your torches!
+ Kiss your lovers until they bleed!
+ Backward I draw your anguished hair
+ Until your eyes are stretched with pain;
+ Backward I press you until you cry,
+ Your lips grow white, I kiss you again,
+ I will take a torch and set you afire,
+ I will break your body and fling it away. . . .
+ Look, you are trembling. . . . Lie still, beloved!
+ Lock your hands in my hair, and say
+ Darling! darling! darling! darling!
+ All night long till the break of day.
+
+ Is it your heart I hear beneath me. . . .
+ Or the far tolling of that tower?
+ The voices are still that cried around us. . . .
+ The woods grow still for the sacred hour.
+ Rise, white lover! the day draws near.
+ The grey trees lean to the east in fear.
+ 'By the clear waters where once I died . . . .'
+ Beloved, whose voice was this that cried?
+ 'By the clear waters that reach the sun
+ By the clear waves that starward run. . . .
+ I found love's body and lost his soul,
+ And crumbled in flame that should have annealed. . .
+ How shall I ever again be whole,
+ By what dark waters shall I be healed?'
+
+ Silence. . . . the red leaves, one by one,
+ Fall. Far off, the maenads run.
+
+ Silence. Beneath my naked feet
+ The veins of the red earth swell and beat.
+ The dead leaves sigh on the troubled air,
+ Far off the maenads bind their hair. . . .
+ Hurry, beloved! the day comes soon.
+ The fire is drawn from the heart of the moon.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ The great bell cracks and falls at last.
+ The moon whirls out. The sky grows still.
+ Look, how the white cloud crosses the stars
+ And suddenly drops behind the hill!
+ Your eyes are placid, you smile at me,
+ We sit in the room by candle-light.
+ We peer in each other's veins and see
+ No sign of the things we saw this night.
+ Only, a song is in your ears,
+ A song you have heard, you think, in dream:
+ The song which only the demon hears,
+ In the dark forest where maenads scream . . .
+
+ 'By the clear waters where once I died . . .
+ In the calm evening bright with stars . . . '
+ What do the strange words mean? you say,--
+ And touch my hand, and turn away.
+
+
+ XIII.
+
+ The half-shut doors through which we heard that music
+ Are softly closed. Horns mutter down to silence.
+ The stars whirl out, the night grows deep.
+ Darkness settles upon us. A vague refrain
+ Drowsily teases at the drowsy brain.
+ In numberless rooms we stretch ourselves and sleep.
+
+ Where have we been? What savage chaos of music
+ Whirls in our dreams?--We suddenly rise in darkness,
+ Open our eyes, cry out, and sleep once more.
+ We dream we are numberless sea-waves languidly foaming
+ A warm white moonlit shore;
+
+ Or clouds blown windily over a sky at midnight,
+ Or chords of music scattered in hurrying darkness,
+ Or a singing sound of rain . . .
+ We open our eyes and stare at the coiling darkness,
+ And enter our dreams again.
+
+
+
+
+PART IV.
+
+
+ I. CLAIRVOYANT
+
+ 'This envelope you say has something in it
+ Which once belonged to your dead son--or something
+ He knew, was fond of? Something he remembers?--
+ The soul flies far, and we can only call it
+ By things like these . . . a photograph, a letter,
+ Ribbon, or charm, or watch . . . '
+
+ . . . Wind flows softly, the long slow even wind,
+ Over the low roofs white with snow;
+ Wind blows, bearing cold clouds over the ocean,
+ One by one they melt and flow,--
+
+ Streaming one by one over trees and towers,
+ Coiling and gleaming in shafts of sun;
+ Wind flows, bearing clouds; the hurrying shadows
+ Flow under them one by one . . .
+
+ ' . . . A spirit darkens before me . . . it is the spirit
+ Which in the flesh you called your son . . . A spirit
+ Young and strong and beautiful . . .
+
+ He says that he is happy, is much honored;
+ Forgives and is forgiven . . . rain and wind
+ Do not perplex him . . . storm and dust forgotten . .
+ The glittering wheels in wheels of time are broken
+ And laid aside . . . '
+
+ 'Ask him why he did the thing he did!'
+
+ 'He is unhappy. This thing, he says, transcends you:
+ Dust cannot hold what shines beyond the dust . . .
+ What seems calamity is less than a sigh;
+ What seems disgrace is nothing.'
+
+ 'Ask him if the one he hurt is there,
+ And if she loves him still!'
+
+ 'He tells you she is there, and loves him still,--
+ Not as she did, but as all spirits love . . .
+ A cloud of spirits has gathered about him.
+ They praise him and call him, they do him honor;
+ He is more beautiful, he shines upon them.'
+
+ . . . Wind flows softly, the long deep tremulous wind,
+ Over the low roofs white with snow . . .
+ Wind flows, bearing dreams; they gather and vanish,
+ One by one they sing and flow;
+
+ Over the outstretched lands of days remembered,
+ Over remembered tower and wall,
+ One by one they gather and talk in the darkness,
+ Rise and glimmer and fall . . .
+
+ 'Ask him why he did the thing he did!
+ He knows I will understand!'
+
+ 'It is too late:
+ He will not hear me: I have lost my power.'
+
+ 'Three times I've asked him! He will never tell me.
+ God have mercy upon him. I will ask no more.'
+
+
+ II. DEATH: AND A DERISIVE CHORUS
+
+ The door is shut. She leaves the curtained office,
+ And down the grey-walled stairs comes trembling slowly
+ Towards the dazzling street.
+ Her withered hand clings tightly to the railing.
+ The long stairs rise and fall beneath her feet.
+
+ Here in the brilliant sun we jostle, waiting
+ To tear her secret out . . . We laugh, we hurry,
+ We go our way, revolving, sinister, slow.
+ She blinks in the sun, and then steps faintly downward.
+ We whirl her away, we shout, we spin, we flow.
+
+ Where have you been, old lady? We know your secret!--
+ Voices jangle about her, jeers, and laughter. . . .
+ She trembles, tries to hurry, averts her eyes.
+ Tell us the truth, old lady! where have you been?
+ She turns and turns, her brain grows dark with cries.
+
+ Look at the old fool tremble! She's been paying,--
+ Paying good money, too,--to talk to spirits. . . .
+ She thinks she's heard a message from one dead!
+ What did he tell you? Is he well and happy?
+ Don't lie to us--we all know what he said.
+
+ He said the one he murdered once still loves him;
+ He said the wheels in wheels of time are broken;
+ And dust and storm forgotten; and all forgiven. . . .
+ But what you asked he wouldn't tell you, though,--
+ Ha ha! there's one thing you will never know!
+ That's what you get for meddling so with heaven!
+
+ Where have you been, old lady? Where are you going?
+ We know, we know! She's been to gab with spirits.
+ Look at the old fool! getting ready to cry!
+ What have you got in an envelope, old lady?
+ A lock of hair? An eyelash from his eye?
+
+ How do you know the medium didn't fool you?
+ Perhaps he had no spirit--perhaps he killed it.
+ Here she comes! the old fool's lost her son.
+ What did he have--blue eyes and golden hair?
+ We know your secret! what's done is done.
+
+ Look out, you'll fall--and fall, if you're not careful,
+ Right into an open grave. . . but what's the hurry?
+ You don't think you will find him when you're dead?
+ Cry! Cry! Look at her mouth all twisted,--
+ Look at her eyes all red!
+
+ We know you--know your name and all about you,
+ All you remember and think, and all you scheme for.
+ We tear your secret out, we leave you, go
+ Laughingly down the street. . . . Die, if you want to!
+ Die, then, if you're in such a hurry to know!--
+
+ . . . . She falls. We lift her head. The wasted body
+ Weighs nothing in our hands. Does no one know her?
+ Was no one with her when she fell? . . .
+ We eddy about her, move away in silence.
+ We hear slow tollings of a bell.
+
+
+ III. PALIMPSEST: A DECEITFUL PORTRAIT
+
+ Well, as you say, we live for small horizons:
+ We move in crowds, we flow and talk together,
+ Seeing so many eyes and hands and faces,
+ So many mouths, and all with secret meanings,--
+ Yet know so little of them; only seeing
+ The small bright circle of our consciousness,
+ Beyond which lies the dark. Some few we know--
+ Or think we know. . . Once, on a sun-bright morning,
+ I walked in a certain hallway, trying to find
+ A certain door: I found one, tried it, opened,
+ And there in a spacious chamber, brightly lighted,
+ A hundred men played music, loudly, swiftly,
+ While one tall woman sent her voice above them
+ In powerful sweetness. . . . Closing then the door
+ I heard it die behind me, fade to whisper,--
+ And walked in a quiet hallway as before.
+ Just such a glimpse, as through that opened door,
+ Is all we know of those we call our friends. . . .
+ We hear a sudden music, see a playing
+ Of ordered thoughts--and all again is silence.
+ The music, we suppose, (as in ourselves)
+ Goes on forever there, behind shut doors,--
+ As it continues after our departure,
+ So, we divine, it played before we came . . .
+ What do you know of me, or I of you? . . .
+ Little enough. . . . We set these doors ajar
+ Only for chosen movements of the music:
+ This passage, (so I think--yet this is guesswork)
+ Will please him,--it is in a strain he fancies,--
+ More brilliant, though, than his; and while he likes it
+ He will be piqued . . . He looks at me bewildered
+ And thinks (to judge from self--this too is guesswork)
+
+ The music strangely subtle, deep in meaning,
+ Perplexed with implications; he suspects me
+ Of hidden riches, unexpected wisdom. . . .
+ Or else I let him hear a lyric passage,--
+ Simple and clear; and all the while he listens
+ I make pretence to think my doors are closed.
+ This too bewilders him. He eyes me sidelong
+ Wondering 'Is he such a fool as this?
+ Or only mocking?'--There I let it end. . . .
+ Sometimes, of course, and when we least suspect it--
+ When we pursue our thoughts with too much passion,
+ Talking with too great zeal--our doors fly open
+ Without intention; and the hungry watcher
+ Stares at the feast, carries away our secrets,
+ And laughs. . . . but this, for many counts, is seldom.
+ And for the most part we vouchsafe our friends,
+ Our lovers too, only such few clear notes
+ As we shall deem them likely to admire:
+ 'Praise me for this' we say, or 'laugh at this,'
+ Or 'marvel at my candor'. . . . all the while
+ Withholding what's most precious to ourselves,--
+ Some sinister depth of lust or fear or hatred,
+ The sombre note that gives the chord its power;
+ Or a white loveliness--if such we know--
+ Too much like fire to speak of without shame.
+
+ Well, this being so, and we who know it being
+ So curious about those well-locked houses,
+ The minds of those we know,--to enter softly,
+ And steal from floor to floor up shadowy stairways,
+ From room to quiet room, from wall to wall,
+ Breathing deliberately the very air,
+ Pressing our hands and nerves against warm darkness
+ To learn what ghosts are there,--
+ Suppose for once I set my doors wide open
+ And bid you in. . . . Suppose I try to tell you
+ The secrets of this house, and how I live here;
+ Suppose I tell you who I am, in fact. . . .
+ Deceiving you--as far as I may know it--
+ Only so much as I deceive myself.
+
+ If you are clever you already see me
+ As one who moves forever in a cloud
+ Of warm bright vanity: a luminous cloud
+ Which falls on all things with a quivering magic,
+ Changing such outlines as a light may change,
+ Brightening what lies dark to me, concealing
+ Those things that will not change . . . I walk sustained
+ In a world of things that flatter me: a sky
+ Just as I would have had it; trees and grass
+ Just as I would have shaped and colored them;
+ Pigeons and clouds and sun and whirling shadows,
+ And stars that brightening climb through mist at nightfall,--
+ In some deep way I am aware these praise me:
+ Where they are beautiful, or hint of beauty,
+ They point, somehow, to me. . . . This water says,--
+ Shimmering at the sky, or undulating
+ In broken gleaming parodies of clouds,
+ Rippled in blue, or sending from cool depths
+ To meet the falling leaf the leaf's clear image,--
+ This water says, there is some secret in you
+ Akin to my clear beauty, silently responsive
+ To all that circles you. This bare tree says,--
+ Austere and stark and leafless, split with frost,
+ Resonant in the wind, with rigid branches
+ Flung out against the sky,--this tall tree says,
+ There is some cold austerity in you,
+ A frozen strength, with long roots gnarled on rocks,
+ Fertile and deep; you bide your time, are patient,
+ Serene in silence, bare to outward seeming,
+ Concealing what reserves of power and beauty!
+ What teeming Aprils!--chorus of leaves on leaves!
+ These houses say, such walls in walls as ours,
+ Such streets of walls, solid and smooth of surface,
+ Such hills and cities of walls, walls upon walls;
+ Motionless in the sun, or dark with rain;
+ Walls pierced with windows, where the light may enter;
+ Walls windowless where darkness is desired;
+ Towers and labyrinths and domes and chambers,--
+ Amazing deep recesses, dark on dark,--
+ All these are like the walls which shape your spirit:
+ You move, are warm, within them, laugh within them,
+ Proud of their depth and strength; or sally from them,
+ When you are bold, to blow great horns at the world. .
+ This deep cool room, with shadowed walls and ceiling,
+ Tranquil and cloistral, fragrant of my mind,
+ This cool room says,--just such a room have you,
+ It waits you always at the tops of stairways,
+ Withdrawn, remote, familiar to your uses,
+ Where you may cease pretence and be yourself. . . .
+ And this embroidery, hanging on this wall,
+ Hung there forever,--these so soundless glidings
+ Of dragons golden-scaled, sheer birds of azure,
+ Coilings of leaves in pale vermilion, griffins
+ Drawing their rainbow wings through involutions
+ Of mauve chrysanthemums and lotus flowers,--
+ This goblin wood where someone cries enchantment,--
+ This says, just such an involuted beauty
+ Of thought and coiling thought, dream linked with dream,
+ Image to image gliding, wreathing fires,
+ Soundlessly cries enchantment in your mind:
+ You need but sit and close your eyes a moment
+ To see these deep designs unfold themselves.
+
+ And so, all things discern me, name me, praise me--
+ I walk in a world of silent voices, praising;
+ And in this world you see me like a wraith
+ Blown softly here and there, on silent winds.
+ 'Praise me'--I say; and look, not in a glass,
+ But in your eyes, to see my image there--
+ Or in your mind; you smile, I am contented;
+ You look at me, with interest unfeigned,
+ And listen--I am pleased; or else, alone,
+ I watch thin bubbles veering brightly upward
+ From unknown depths,--my silver thoughts ascending;
+ Saying now this, now that, hinting of all things,--
+ Dreams, and desires, velleities, regrets,
+ Faint ghosts of memory, strange recognitions,--
+ But all with one deep meaning: this is I,
+ This is the glistening secret holy I,
+ This silver-winged wonder, insubstantial,
+ This singing ghost. . . . And hearing, I am warmed.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ You see me moving, then, as one who moves
+ Forever at the centre of his circle:
+ A circle filled with light. And into it
+ Come bulging shapes from darkness, loom gigantic,
+ Or huddle in dark again. . . . A clock ticks clearly,
+ A gas-jet steadily whirs, light streams across me;
+ Two church bells, with alternate beat, strike nine;
+ And through these things my pencil pushes softly
+ To weave grey webs of lines on this clear page.
+ Snow falls and melts; the eaves make liquid music;
+ Black wheel-tracks line the snow-touched street; I turn
+ And look one instant at the half-dark gardens,
+ Where skeleton elm-trees reach with frozen gesture
+ Above unsteady lamps,--with black boughs flung
+ Against a luminous snow-filled grey-gold sky.
+ 'Beauty!' I cry. . . . My feet move on, and take me
+ Between dark walls, with orange squares for windows.
+ Beauty; beheld like someone half-forgotten,
+ Remembered, with slow pang, as one neglected . . .
+ Well, I am frustrate; life has beaten me,
+ The thing I strongly seized has turned to darkness,
+ And darkness rides my heart. . . . These skeleton elm-trees--
+ Leaning against that grey-gold snow filled sky--
+ Beauty! they say, and at the edge of darkness
+ Extend vain arms in a frozen gesture of protest . . .
+ A clock ticks softly; a gas-jet steadily whirs:
+ The pencil meets its shadow upon clear paper,
+ Voices are raised, a door is slammed. The lovers,
+ Murmuring in an adjacent room, grow silent,
+ The eaves make liquid music. . . . Hours have passed,
+ And nothing changes, and everything is changed.
+ Exultation is dead, Beauty is harlot,--
+ And walks the streets. The thing I strongly seized
+ Has turned to darkness, and darkness rides my heart.
+
+ If you could solve this darkness you would have me.
+ This causeless melancholy that comes with rain,
+ Or on such days as this when large wet snowflakes
+ Drop heavily, with rain . . . whence rises this?
+ Well, so-and-so, this morning when I saw him,
+ Seemed much preoccupied, and would not smile;
+ And you, I saw too much; and you, too little;
+ And the word I chose for you, the golden word,
+ The word that should have struck so deep in purpose,
+ And set so many doors of wish wide open,
+ You let it fall, and would not stoop for it,
+ And smiled at me, and would not let me guess
+ Whether you saw it fall. . . These things, together,
+ With other things, still slighter, wove to music,
+ And this in time drew up dark memories;
+ And there I stand. This music breaks and bleeds me,
+ Turning all frustrate dreams to chords and discords,
+ Faces and griefs, and words, and sunlit evenings,
+ And chains self-forged that will not break nor lengthen,
+ And cries that none can answer, few will hear.
+ Have these things meaning? Or would you see more clearly
+ If I should say 'My second wife grows tedious,
+ Or, like gay tulip, keeps no perfumed secret'?
+
+ Or 'one day dies eventless as another,
+ Leaving the seeker still unsatisfied,
+ And more convinced life yields no satisfaction'?
+ Or 'seek too hard, the sight at length grows callous,
+ And beauty shines in vain'?--
+
+ These things you ask for,
+ These you shall have. . . So, talking with my first wife,
+ At the dark end of evening, when she leaned
+ And smiled at me, with blue eyes weaving webs
+ Of finest fire, revolving me in scarlet,--
+ Calling to mind remote and small successions
+ Of countless other evenings ending so,--
+ I smiled, and met her kiss, and wished her dead;
+ Dead of a sudden sickness, or by my hands
+ Savagely killed; I saw her in her coffin,
+ I saw her coffin borne downstairs with trouble,
+ I saw myself alone there, palely watching,
+ Wearing a masque of grief so deeply acted
+ That grief itself possessed me. Time would pass,
+ And I should meet this girl,--my second wife--
+ And drop the masque of grief for one of passion.
+ Forward we move to meet, half hesitating,
+ We drown in each others' eyes, we laugh, we talk,
+ Looking now here, now there, faintly pretending
+ We do not hear the powerful pulsing prelude
+ Roaring beneath our words . . . The time approaches.
+ We lean unbalanced. The mute last glance between us,
+ Profoundly searching, opening, asking, yielding,
+ Is steadily met: our two lives draw together . . .
+ . . . .'What are you thinking of?'. . . . My first wife's voice
+ Scattered these ghosts. 'Oh nothing--nothing much--
+ Just wondering where we'd be two years from now,
+ And what we might be doing . . . ' And then remorse
+ Turned sharply in my mind to sudden pity,
+ And pity to echoed love. And one more evening
+ Drew to the usual end of sleep and silence.
+
+ And, as it is with this, so too with all things.
+ The pages of our lives are blurred palimpsest:
+ New lines are wreathed on old lines half-erased,
+ And those on older still; and so forever.
+ The old shines through the new, and colors it.
+ What's new? What's old? All things have double meanings,--
+ All things return. I write a line with passion
+ (Or touch a woman's hand, or plumb a doctrine)
+ Only to find the same thing, done before,--
+ Only to know the same thing comes to-morrow. . . .
+ This curious riddled dream I dreamed last night,--
+ Six years ago I dreamed it just as now;
+ The same man stooped to me; we rose from darkness,
+ And broke the accustomed order of our days,
+ And struck for the morning world, and warmth, and freedom. . . .
+ What does it mean? Why is this hint repeated?
+ What darkness does it spring from, seek to end?
+
+ You see me, then, pass up and down these stairways,
+ Now through a beam of light, and now through shadow,--
+ Pursuing silent ends. No rest there is,--
+ No more for me than you. I move here always,
+ From quiet room to room, from wall to wall,
+ Searching and plotting, weaving a web of days.
+ This is my house, and now, perhaps, you know me. . .
+ Yet I confess, for all my best intentions,
+ Once more I have deceived you. . . . I withhold
+ The one thing precious, the one dark thing that guides me;
+ And I have spread two snares for you, of lies.
+
+
+ IV. COUNTERPOINT: TWO ROOMS
+
+ He, in the room above, grown old and tired,
+ She, in the room below--his floor her ceiling--
+ Pursue their separate dreams. He turns his light,
+ And throws himself on the bed, face down, in laughter. . . .
+ She, by the window, smiles at a starlight night,
+
+ His watch--the same he has heard these cycles of ages--
+ Wearily chimes at seconds beneath his pillow.
+ The clock, upon her mantelpiece, strikes nine.
+ The night wears on. She hears dull steps above her.
+ The world whirs on. . . . New stars come up to shine.
+
+ His youth--far off--he sees it brightly walking
+ In a golden cloud. . . . Wings flashing about it. . . . Darkness
+ Walls it around with dripping enormous walls.
+ Old age--far off--her death--what do they matter?
+ Down the smooth purple night a streaked star falls.
+
+ She hears slow steps in the street--they chime like music;
+ They climb to her heart, they break and flower in beauty,
+ Along her veins they glisten and ring and burn. . . .
+ He hears his own slow steps tread down to silence.
+ Far off they pass. He knows they will never return.
+
+ Far off--on a smooth dark road--he hears them faintly.
+ The road, like a sombre river, quietly flowing,
+ Moves among murmurous walls. A deeper breath
+ Swells them to sound: he hears his steps more clearly.
+ And death seems nearer to him: or he to death.
+
+ What's death?--She smiles. The cool stone hurts her elbows.
+ The last of the rain-drops gather and fall from elm-boughs,
+ She sees them glisten and break. The arc-lamp sings,
+ The new leaves dip in the warm wet air and fragrance.
+ A sparrow whirs to the eaves, and shakes his wings.
+
+ What's death--what's death? The spring returns like music,
+ The trees are like dark lovers who dream in starlight,
+ The soft grey clouds go over the stars like dreams.
+ The cool stone wounds her arms to pain, to pleasure.
+ Under the lamp a circle of wet street gleams. . . .
+ And death seems far away, a thing of roses,
+ A golden portal, where golden music closes,
+ Death seems far away:
+ And spring returns, the countless singing of lovers,
+ And spring returns to stay. . . .
+
+ He, in the room above, grown old and tired,
+ Flings himself on the bed, face down, in laughter,
+ And clenches his hands, and remembers, and desires to die.
+ And she, by the window, smiles at a night of starlight.
+ . . . The soft grey clouds go slowly across the sky.
+
+
+ V. THE BITTER LOVE-SONG
+
+ No, I shall not say why it is that I love you--
+ Why do you ask me, save for vanity?
+ Surely you would not have me, like a mirror,
+ Say 'yes,--your hair curls darkly back from the temples,
+ Your mouth has a humorous, tremulous, half-shy sweetness,
+ Your eyes are April grey. . . . with jonquils in them?'
+ No, if I tell at all, I shall tell in silence . . .
+ I'll say--my childhood broke through chords of music
+ --Or were they chords of sun?--wherein fell shadows,
+ Or silences; I rose through seas of sunlight;
+ Or sometimes found a darkness stooped above me
+ With wings of death, and a face of cold clear beauty. .
+ I lay in the warm sweet grass on a blue May morning,
+ My chin in a dandelion, my hands in clover,
+ And drowsed there like a bee. . . . blue days behind me
+ Stretched like a chain of deep blue pools of magic,
+ Enchanted, silent, timeless. . . . days before me
+ Murmured of blue-sea mornings, noons of gold,
+ Green evenings streaked with lilac, bee-starred nights.
+ Confused soft clouds of music fled above me.
+
+ Sharp shafts of music dazzled my eyes and pierced me.
+ I ran and turned and spun and danced in the sunlight,
+ Shrank, sometimes, from the freezing silence of beauty,
+ Or crept once more to the warm white cave of sleep.
+
+ No, I shall not say 'this is why I praise you--
+ Because you say such wise things, or such foolish. . .'
+ You would not have me say what you know better?
+ Let me instead be silent, only saying--:
+ My childhood lives in me--or half-lives, rather--
+ And, if I close my eyes cool chords of music
+ Flow up to me . . . long chords of wind and sunlight. . . .
+ Shadows of intricate vines on sunlit walls,
+ Deep bells beating, with aeons of blue between them,
+ Grass blades leagues apart with worlds between them,
+ Walls rushing up to heaven with stars upon them. . .
+ I lay in my bed and through the tall night window
+ Saw the green lightning plunging among the clouds,
+ And heard the harsh rain storm at the panes and roof. . . .
+ How should I know--how should I now remember--
+ What half-dreamed great wings curved and sang above me?
+ What wings like swords? What eyes with the dread night in them?
+
+ This I shall say.--I lay by the hot white sand-dunes. .
+ Small yellow flowers, sapless and squat and spiny,
+ Stared at the sky. And silently there above us
+ Day after day, beyond our dreams and knowledge,
+ Presences swept, and over us streamed their shadows,
+ Swift and blue, or dark. . . . What did they mean?
+ What sinister threat of power? What hint of beauty?
+ Prelude to what gigantic music, or subtle?
+ Only I know these things leaned over me,
+ Brooded upon me, paused, went flowing softly,
+ Glided and passed. I loved, I desired, I hated,
+ I struggled, I yielded and loved, was warmed to blossom . . .
+ You, when your eyes have evening sunlight in them,
+ Set these dunes before me, these salt bright flowers,
+ These presences. . . . I drowse, they stream above me,
+ I struggle, I yield and love, I am warmed to dream.
+
+ You are the window (if I could tell I'd tell you)
+ Through which I see a clear far world of sunlight.
+ You are the silence (if you could hear you'd hear me)
+ In which I remember a thin still whisper of singing.
+ It is not you I laugh for, you I touch!
+ My hands, that touch you, suddenly touch white cobwebs,
+ Coldly silvered, heavily silvered with dewdrops;
+ And clover, heavy with rain; and cold green grass. . .
+
+
+ VI. CINEMA
+
+ As evening falls,
+ The walls grow luminous and warm, the walls
+ Tremble and glow with the lives within them moving,
+ Moving like music, secret and rich and warm.
+ How shall we live to-night, where shall we turn?
+ To what new light or darkness yearn?
+ A thousand winding stairs lead down before us;
+ And one by one in myriads we descend
+ By lamplit flowered walls, long balustrades,
+ Through half-lit halls which reach no end. . . .
+
+ Take my arm, then, you or you or you,
+ And let us walk abroad on the solid air:
+ Look how the organist's head, in silhouette,
+ Leans to the lamplit music's orange square! . . .
+ The dim-globed lamps illumine rows of faces,
+ Rows of hands and arms and hungry eyes,
+ They have hurried down from a myriad secret places,
+ From windy chambers next to the skies. . . .
+ The music comes upon us. . . . it shakes the darkness,
+ It shakes the darkness in our minds. . . .
+ And brilliant figures suddenly fill the darkness,
+ Down the white shaft of light they run through darkness,
+ And in our hearts a dazzling dream unwinds . . .
+
+ Take my hand, then, walk with me
+ By the slow soundless crashings of a sea
+ Down miles on miles of glistening mirrorlike sand,--
+ Take my hand
+ And walk with me once more by crumbling walls;
+ Up mouldering stairs where grey-stemmed ivy clings,
+ To hear forgotten bells, as evening falls,
+ Rippling above us invisibly their slowly widening rings. . . .
+ Did you once love me? Did you bear a name?
+ Did you once stand before me without shame? . . .
+ Take my hand: your face is one I know,
+ I loved you, long ago:
+ You are like music, long forgotten, suddenly come to mind;
+ You are like spring returned through snow.
+ Once, I know, I walked with you in starlight,
+ And many nights I slept and dreamed of you;
+ Come, let us climb once more these stairs of starlight,
+ This midnight stream of cloud-flung blue! . . .
+ Music murmurs beneath us like a sea,
+ And faints to a ghostly whisper . . . Come with me.
+
+ Are you still doubtful of me--hesitant still,
+ Fearful, perhaps, that I may yet remember
+ What you would gladly, if you could, forget?
+ You were unfaithful once, you met your lover;
+ Still in your heart you bear that red-eyed ember;
+ And I was silent,--you remember my silence yet . . .
+ You knew, as well as I, I could not kill him,
+ Nor touch him with hot hands, nor yet with hate.
+ No, and it was not you I saw with anger.
+ Instead, I rose and beat at steel-walled fate,
+ Cried till I lay exhausted, sick, unfriended,
+ That life, so seeming sure, and love, so certain,
+ Should loose such tricks, be so abruptly ended,
+ Ring down so suddenly an unlooked-for curtain.
+
+ How could I find it in my heart to hurt you,
+ You, whom this love could hurt much more than I?
+ No, you were pitiful, and I gave you pity;
+ And only hated you when I saw you cry.
+ We were two dupes; if I could give forgiveness,--
+ Had I the right,--I should forgive you now . . .
+ We were two dupes . . . Come, let us walk in starlight,
+ And feed our griefs: we do not break, but bow.
+
+ Take my hand, then, come with me
+ By the white shadowy crashings of a sea . . .
+ Look how the long volutes of foam unfold
+ To spread their mottled shimmer along the sand! . . .
+ Take my hand,
+ Do not remember how these depths are cold,
+ Nor how, when you are dead,
+ Green leagues of sea will glimmer above your head.
+ You lean your face upon your hands and cry,
+ The blown sand whispers about your feet,
+ Terrible seems it now to die,--
+ Terrible now, with life so incomplete,
+ To turn away from the balconies and the music,
+ The sunlit afternoons,
+ To hear behind you there a far-off laughter
+ Lost in a stirring of sand among dry dunes . . .
+ Die not sadly, you whom life has beaten!
+ Lift your face up, laughing, die like a queen!
+ Take cold flowers of foam in your warm white fingers!
+ Death's but a change of sky from blue to green . . .
+
+ As evening falls,
+ The walls grow luminous and warm, the walls
+ Tremble and glow . . . the music breathes upon us,
+ The rayed white shaft plays over our heads like magic,
+ And to and fro we move and lean and change . . .
+ You, in a world grown strange,
+ Laugh at a darkness, clench your hands despairing,
+ Smash your glass on a floor, no longer caring,
+ Sink suddenly down and cry . . .
+ You hear the applause that greets your latest rival,
+ You are forgotten: your rival--who knows?--is I . . .
+ I laugh in the warm bright light of answering laughter,
+ I am inspired and young . . . and though I see
+ You sitting alone there, dark, with shut eyes crying,
+ I bask in the light, and in your hate of me . . .
+ Failure . . . well, the time comes soon or later . . .
+ The night must come . . . and I'll be one who clings,
+ Desperately, to hold the applause, one instant,--
+ To keep some youngster waiting in the wings.
+
+ The music changes tone . . . a room is darkened,
+ Someone is moving . . . the crack of white light widens,
+ And all is dark again; till suddenly falls
+ A wandering disk of light on floor and walls,
+ Winks out, returns again, climbs and descends,
+ Gleams on a clock, a glass, shrinks back to darkness;
+ And then at last, in the chaos of that place,
+ Dazzles like frozen fire on your clear face.
+ Well, I have found you. We have met at last.
+ Now you shall not escape me: in your eyes
+ I see the horrible huddlings of your past,--
+ All you remember blackens, utters cries,
+ Reaches far hands and faint. I hold the light
+ Close to your cheek, watch the pained pupils shrink,--
+ Watch the vile ghosts of all you vilely think . . .
+ Now all the hatreds of my life have met
+ To hold high carnival . . . we do not speak,
+ My fingers find the well-loved throat they seek,
+ And press, and fling you down . . . and then forget.
+
+ Who plays for me? What sudden drums keep time
+ To the ecstatic rhythm of my crime?
+ What flute shrills out as moonlight strikes the floor? . .
+ What violin so faintly cries
+ Seeing how strangely in the moon he lies? . . .
+ The room grows dark once more,
+ The crack of white light narrows around the door,
+ And all is silent, except a slow complaining
+ Of flutes and violins, like music waning.
+
+ Take my hand, then, walk with me
+ By the slow soundless crashings of a sea . . .
+ Look, how white these shells are, on this sand!
+ Take my hand,
+ And watch the waves run inward from the sky
+ Line upon foaming line to plunge and die.
+ The music that bound our lives is lost behind us,
+ Paltry it seems . . . here in this wind-swung place
+ Motionless under the sky's vast vault of azure
+ We stand in a terror of beauty, face to face.
+ The dry grass creaks in the wind, the blown sand whispers,
+
+ The soft sand seethes on the dunes, the clear grains glisten,
+ Once they were rock . . . a chaos of golden boulders . . .
+ Now they are blown by the wind . . . we stand and listen
+ To the sliding of grain upon timeless grain
+ And feel our lives go past like a whisper of pain.
+ Have I not seen you, have we not met before
+ Here on this sun-and-sea-wrecked shore?
+ You shade your sea-gray eyes with a sunlit hand
+ And peer at me . . . far sea-gulls, in your eyes,
+ Flash in the sun, go down . . . I hear slow sand,
+ And shrink to nothing beneath blue brilliant skies . . .
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ The music ends. The screen grows dark. We hurry
+ To go our devious secret ways, forgetting
+ Those many lives . . . We loved, we laughed, we killed,
+ We danced in fire, we drowned in a whirl of sea-waves.
+ The flutes are stilled, and a thousand dreams are stilled.
+
+ Whose body have I found beside dark waters,
+ The cold white body, garlanded with sea-weed?
+ Staring with wide eyes at the sky?
+ I bent my head above it, and cried in silence.
+ Only the things I dreamed of heard my cry.
+
+ Once I loved, and she I loved was darkened.
+ Again I loved, and love itself was darkened.
+ Vainly we follow the circle of shadowy days.
+ The screen at last grows dark, the flutes are silent.
+ The doors of night are closed. We go our ways.
+
+
+ VII.
+
+ The sun goes down in a cold pale flare of light.
+ The trees grow dark: the shadows lean to the east:
+ And lights wink out through the windows, one by one.
+ A clamor of frosty sirens mourns at the night.
+ Pale slate-grey clouds whirl up from the sunken sun.
+
+ And the wandering one, the inquisitive dreamer of dreams,
+ The eternal asker of answers, stands in the street,
+ And lifts his palms for the first cold ghost of rain.
+ The purple lights leap down the hill before him.
+ The gorgeous night has begun again.
+
+ 'I will ask them all, I will ask them all their dreams,
+ I will hold my light above them and seek their faces,
+ I will hear them whisper, invisible in their veins. . . . '
+ The eternal asker of answers becomes as the darkness,
+ Or as a wind blown over a myriad forest,
+ Or as the numberless voices of long-drawn rains.
+
+ We hear him and take him among us like a wind of music,
+ Like the ghost of a music we have somewhere heard;
+ We crowd through the streets in a dazzle of pallid lamplight,
+ We pour in a sinister mass, we ascend a stair,
+ With laughter and cry, with word upon murmured word,
+ We flow, we descend, we turn. . . . and the eternal dreamer
+ Moves on among us like light, like evening air . . .
+
+ Good night! good night! good night! we go our ways,
+ The rain runs over the pavement before our feet,
+ The cold rain falls, the rain sings.
+ We walk, we run, we ride. We turn our faces
+ To what the eternal evening brings.
+
+ Our hands are hot and raw with the stones we have laid,
+ We have built a tower of stone high into the sky.
+ We have built a city of towers.
+ Our hands are light, they are singing with emptiness.
+ Our souls are light. They have shaken a burden of hours. . . .
+ What did we build it for? Was it all a dream? . . .
+ Ghostly above us in lamplight the towers gleam . . .
+ And after a while they will fall to dust and rain;
+ Or else we will tear them down with impatient hands;
+ And hew rock out of the earth, and build them again.
+
+ 1916-1917
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The House of Dust, by Conrad Aiken
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