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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Morgesons, by Elizabeth Stoddard
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Morgesons
+
+Author: Elizabeth Stoddard
+
+Release Date: May 14, 2004  [eBook #12347]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MORGESONS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Leah Moser and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+THE MORGESONS
+
+A Novel
+
+BY ELIZABETH STODDARD
+
+1901
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  "Time is a clever devil,"--BALZAC
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Portrait of Elizabeth Stoddard from a Daguerreotype.]
+
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+
+I suppose it was environment that caused me to write these novels;
+but the mystery of it is, that when I left my native village I did
+not dream that imagination would lead me there again, for the simple
+annals of our village and domestic ways did not interest me; neither
+was I in the least studious. My years were passed in an attempt to
+have a good time, according to the desires and fancies of youth. Of
+literature and the literary life, I and my tribe knew nothing; we had
+not discovered "sermons in stones." Where then was the panorama of
+my stories and novels stored, that was unrolled in my new sphere? Of
+course, being moderately intelligent I read everything that came in
+my way, but merely for amusement. It had been laid up against me as a
+persistent fault, which was not profitable; I should peruse moral,
+and pious works, or take up sewing,--that interminable thing, "white
+seam," which filled the leisure moments of the right-minded. To
+the _personnel_ of writers I gave little heed; it was the hero they
+created that charmed me, like Miss Porter's gallant Pole, Sobieski, or
+the ardent Ernest Maltravers, of Bulwer.
+
+I had now come to live among those who made books, and were interested
+in all their material, for all was for the glory of the whole.
+Prefaces, notes, indexes, were unnoticed by me,--even Walter Scott's
+and Lord Byron's. I began to get glimpses of a profound ignorance, and
+did not like the position as an outside consideration. These mental
+productive adversities abased me. I was well enough in my way, but
+nothing was expected from me in their way, and when I beheld their
+ardor in composition, and its fine emulation, like "a sheep before her
+shearers," I was dumb. The environment pressed upon me, my pride was
+touched; my situation, though "tolerable, was not to be endured."
+
+Fortunate or not, we were poor. It was not strange that I should
+marry, said those who knew the step I had taken; but that I should
+follow that old idyl; and accept the destiny of a garret and a
+crust with a poet, was incredible! Therefore, being apart from the
+diversions of society, I had many idle hours. One day when my husband
+was sitting at the receipt of customs, for he had obtained a modest
+appointment, I sat by a little desk, where my portfolio lay open.
+A pen was near, which I took up, and it began to write, wildly like
+"Planchette" upon her board, or like a kitten clutching a ball of yarn
+fearfully. But doing it again--I could not say why--my mind began upon
+a festival in my childhood, which my mother arranged for several poor
+old people at Thanksgiving. I finished the sketch in private, and gave
+it the title of "A Christmas Dinner," as one more modern. I put in
+occasional "fiblets" about the respectable guests, Mrs. Carver
+and Mrs. Chandler, and one dreadful little girl foisted upon me to
+entertain. It pleased the editor of _Harper's Magazine_, who accepted
+it, and sent me a check which would look wondrous small now. I wrote
+similar sketches, which were published in that magazine. Then I
+announced my intention of writing a "long story," and was told by him
+of the customs that he thought I "lacked the constructive faculty."
+I hope that I am writing an object lesson, either of learning how, or
+not learning how, to write.
+
+I labored daily, when alone, for weeks; how many sheets of foolscap I
+covered, and dashed to earth, was never told. Since, by my "infinite
+pains and groans," I have been reminded of Barkis, in "David
+Copperfield," when he crawled out of his bed to get a guinea from
+his strong box for David's dinner. Naturally, I sent the story to
+_Harper's Magazine_, and it was curtly refused. My husband, moved by
+pity by my discouragement, sent it to Mr. Lowell, then editor of the
+_Atlantic Monthly_. In a few days I received a letter from him, which
+made me very happy. He accepted the story, and wrote me then, and
+afterwards, letters of advice and suggestion. I think he saw through
+my mind, its struggles, its ignorance, and its ambition. Also I got my
+guinea for my pains. The _Atlantic Monthly_ sent me a hundred dollars.
+I doubt but for Mr. Lowell's interest and kindness I should ever have
+tried prose again. I owe a debt of gratitude to him which I shall
+always give to his noble memory.
+
+My story did not set the river on fire, as stories are apt to do
+nowadays. It attracted so little notice from those I knew, and
+knew of, that naturally my ambition would have been crushed.
+Notwithstanding, and saying nothing to anybody, I began "The
+Morgesons," and everywhere I went, like Mary's lamb, my MS. was sure
+to go. Meandering along the path of that family, I took them much to
+heart, and finished their record within a year. I may say here, that
+the clans I marshaled for my pages had vanished from the sphere
+of reality--in my early day the village Squire, peerless in blue
+broadcloth, who scolded, advised, and helped his poorer neighbors; the
+widows, or maidens, who accepting service "as a favor," often remained
+a lifetime as friend as well as "help;" the race of coast-wise
+captains and traders, from Maine to Florida, as acute as they were
+ignorant; the rovers of the Atlantic and the Pacific, were gone not
+to return. If with these characters I have deserved the name of
+"realist," I have also clothed my skeletons with the robe of romance.
+"The Morgesons" completed, and no objections made to its publication,
+it was published. As an author friend happened to be with us, almost
+on the day it was out, I gave it to him to read, and he returned it to
+me with the remark that there were "a good many _whiches_ in it." That
+there were, I must own, and that it was difficult to extirpate them. I
+was annoyed at their fertility. The inhabitants of my ancient dwelling
+place pounced upon "The Morgesons," because they were convinced it
+would prove to be a version of my relations, and my own life. I think
+one copy passed from hand to hand, but the interest in it soon blew
+over, and I have not been noticed there since.
+
+"Two Men" I began as I did the others, with a single motive; the
+shadow of a man passed before me, and I built a visionary fabric round
+him. I have never tried to girdle the earth; my limits are narrow; the
+modern novel, as Andrew Lang lately calls it,--with its love-making,
+disquisition, description, history, theology, ethics,--I have
+no sprinkling of. My last novel, "Temple House," was personally
+conducted, so far that I went to Plymouth to find a suitable abode for
+my hero, Angus Gates, and to measure with my eye the distance between
+the bar in the bay and the shore, the scene of a famous wreck before
+the Revolution. As my stories and novels were never in touch with my
+actual life, they seem now as if they were written by a ghost of
+their time. It is to strangers from strange places that I owe the most
+sympathetic recognition. Some have come to me, and from many I have
+had letters that warmed my heart, and cheered my mind. Beside the name
+of Mr. Lowell, I mention two New England names, to spare me the
+fate of the prophet of the Gospel, the late Maria Louise Pool, whose
+lamentable death came far too early, and Nathaniel Hawthorne, who
+lived to read "The Morgesons" only, and to write me a characteristic
+letter. With some slight criticism, he wrote, "Pray pardon my
+frankness, for what is the use of saying anything, unless we say what
+we think?... Otherwise it seemed to me as genuine and lifelike as
+anything that pen and ink can do. There are very few books of which
+I take the trouble to have any opinion at all, or of which I
+could retain any memory so long after reading them as I do of 'The
+Morgesons.'"
+
+Could better words be written for the send-off of these novels?
+
+ELIZABETH STODDARD. New York, May 2nd, 1901.
+
+
+
+
+TO MRS. KATHARINE HOOKER
+
+OF LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
+
+THESE NOVELS ARE DEDICATED IN GRATEFUL REMEMBRANCE OF A KIND DEED
+
+ELIZABETH STODDARD
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+
+"That child," said my aunt Mercy, looking at me with indigo-colored
+eyes, "is possessed."
+
+When my aunt said this I was climbing a chest of drawers, by its
+knobs, in order to reach the book-shelves above it, where my favorite
+work, "The Northern Regions," was kept, together with "Baxter's
+Saints' Rest," and other volumes of that sort, belonging to my mother;
+and those my father bought for his own reading, and which I liked,
+though I only caught a glimpse of their meaning by strenuous study.
+To this day Sheridan's Comedies, Sterne's Sentimental Journey, and
+Captain Cook's Voyages are so mixed up in my remembrance that I am
+still uncertain whether it was Sterne who ate baked dog with Maria, or
+Sheridan who wept over a dead ass in the Sandwich Islands.
+
+After I had made a dash at and captured my book, I seated myself with
+difficulty on the edge of the chest of drawers, and was soon lost in
+an Esquimaux hut. Presently, in crossing my feet, my shoes, which were
+large, dropped on the painted floor with a loud noise. I looked at my
+aunt; her regards were still fixed upon me, but they did not interfere
+with her occupation of knitting; neither did they interrupt her habit
+of chewing cloves, flagroot, or grains of rice. If these articles were
+not at hand, she chewed a small chip.
+
+"Aunt Merce, poor Hepburn chewed his shoes, when he was in Davis's
+Straits."
+
+"Mary, look at that child's stockings."
+
+Mother raised her eyes from the _Boston Recorder_, and the article
+she had been absorbed in the proceedings of an Ecclesiastical Council,
+which had discussed (she read aloud to Aunt Merce) the conduct of
+Brother Thaddeus Turner, pastor of the Congregational Church of
+Hyena. Brother Thaddeus had spoken lightly of the difference between
+Sprinkling and Immersion, and had even called Hyena's Baptist minister
+"_Brother_." He was contumacious at first, was Brother Thaddeus, but
+Brother Boanerges from Andover finally floored him.
+
+"Cassandra," said mother, presently, "come here."
+
+I obeyed with reluctance, making a show of turning down a leaf.
+
+"Child," she continued, and her eyes wandered over me dreamily, till
+they dropped on my stockings; "why will you waste so much time on
+unprofitable stories?"
+
+"Mother, I hate good stories, all but the Shepherd of Salisbury Plain;
+I like that, because it makes me hungry to read about the roasted
+potatoes the shepherd had for breakfast and supper. Would it make me
+thankful if you only gave me potatoes without salt?"
+
+"Not unless your heart is right before God."
+
+"'_The Lord my Shepherd is_,'" sang Aunt Merce.
+
+I put my hands over my ears, and looked defiantly round the room.
+Its walls are no longer standing, and the hands of its builders have
+crumbled to dust. Some mental accident impressed this picture on the
+purblind memory of childhood.
+
+We were in mother's winter room. She was in a low, chintz-covered
+chair; Aunt Merce sat by the window, in a straight-backed chair, that
+rocked querulously, and likewise covered with chintz, of a red and
+yellow pattern. Before the lower half of the windows were curtains of
+red serge, which she rattled apart on their brass rods, whenever she
+heard a footstep, or the creak of a wheel in the road below. The walls
+were hung with white paper, through which ran thread-like stripes of
+green. A square of green and chocolate-colored English carpet covered
+the middle of the floor, and a row of straw chairs stood around it,
+on the bare, lead-colored boards. A huge bed, with a chintz top shaped
+like an elephant's back, was in one corner, and a six-legged mahogany
+table in another. One side of the room where the fireplace was set
+was paneled in wood; its fire had burned down in the shining Franklin
+stove, and broken brands were standing upright. The charred backlog
+still smoldered, its sap hissed and bubbled at each end.
+
+Aunt Merce rummaged her pocket for flagroot; mother resumed her paper.
+
+"May I put on, for a little while, my new slippers?" I asked, longing
+to escape the oppressive atmosphere of the room.
+
+"Yes," answered mother, "but come in soon, it will be supper-time."
+
+I bounded away, found my slippers, and was walking down stairs on
+tiptoe, holding up my linsey-woolsey frock, when I saw the door of my
+great-grandfather's room ajar. I pushed it open, went in, and saw a
+very old man, his head bound with a red-silk handkerchief, bolstered
+in bed. His wife, grandmother-in-law, sat by the fire reading a great
+Bible.
+
+"Marm Tamor, will you please show me Ruth and Boaz?" I asked.
+
+She complied by turning over the leaves till she came to the picture.
+
+"Did Ruth love Boaz dreadfully much?"
+
+"Oh, oh," groaned the old man, "what is the imp doing here? Drive her
+away. Scat."
+
+I skipped out by a side door, down an alley paved with blue pebbles,
+swung the high gate open, and walked up and down the gravel walk which
+bordered the roadside, admiring my slippers, and wishing that some
+acquaintance with poor shoes could see me. I thought then I would
+climb the high gateposts, which had a flat top, and take there the
+position of the little girl in "The Shawl Dance." I had no sooner
+taken it than Aunt Merce appeared at the door, and gave a shriek at
+the sight, which tempted me to jump toward her with extended arms. I
+was seized and carried into the house, where supper was administered,
+and I was put to bed.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+
+At this time I was ten years old. We lived in a New England village,
+Surrey, which was situated on an inlet of a large bay that opened into
+the Atlantic. From the observatory of our house we could see how the
+inlet was pinched by the long claws of the land, which nearly enclosed
+it. Opposite the village, some ten miles across, a range of islands
+shut out the main waters of the bay. For miles on the outer side
+of the curving prongs of land stretched a rugged, desolate coast,
+indented with coves and creeks, lined with bowlders of granite half
+sunken in the sea, and edged by beaches overgrown with pale sedge, or
+covered with beds of seaweed. Nothing alive, except the gulls, abode
+on these solitary shores. No lighthouse stood on any point, to shake
+its long, warning light across the mariners' wake. Now and then a
+drowned man floated in among the sedge, or a small craft went to
+pieces on the rocks. When an easterly wind prevailed, the coast
+resounded with the bellowing sea, which brought us tidings from those
+inaccessible spots. We heard its roar as it leaped over the rocks
+on Gloster Point, and its long, unbroken wail when it rolled in on
+Whitefoot Beach. In mild weather, too, when our harbor was quiet, we
+still heard its whimper. Behind the village, the ground rose toward
+the north, where the horizon was bounded by woods of oak and pine,
+intersected by crooked roads, which led to towns and villages near
+us. The inland scenery was tame; no hill or dale broke its dull
+uniformity. Cornfields and meadows of red grass walled with gray
+stone, lay between the village and the border of the woods. Seaward
+it was enchanting--beautiful under the sun and moon and clouds. Our
+family had lived in Surrey for years. Probably some Puritan of
+the name of Morgeson had moved from an earlier settlement, and,
+appropriating a few acres in what was now its center, lived long
+enough upon them to see his sons and daughters married to the sons and
+daughters of similar settlers. So our name was in perpetuation, though
+none of our race ever made a mark in his circle, or attained a place
+among the great ones of his day. The family recipes for curing herbs
+and hams, and making cordials, were in better preservation than the
+memory of their makers. It is certain that they were not a progressive
+or changeable family. No tradition of any individuality remains
+concerning them. There was a confusion in the minds of the survivors
+of the various generations about the degree of their relationship to
+those who were buried, and whose names and ages simply were cut in the
+stones which headed their graves. The _meum_ and _tuum_ of blood were
+inextricably mixed; so they contented themselves with giving their
+children the old Christian names which were carved on the headstones,
+and which, in time, added a still more profound darkness to the
+anti-heraldic memory of the Morgesons. They had no knowledge of
+that treasure which so many of our New England families are boastful
+of--the Ancestor who came over in the Mayflower, or by himself, with
+a grant of land from Parliament. It was not known whether two or three
+brothers sailed together from the Old World and settled in the New.
+They had no portrait, nor curious chair, nor rusty weapon--no old
+Bible, nor drinking cup, nor remnant of brocade.
+
+_Morgeson_--_Born_--_Lived_--_Died_--were all their archives. But
+there is a dignity in mere perpetuity, a strength in the narrowest
+affinities. This dignity and strength were theirs. They are still
+vital in our rural population. Occasionally something fine is their
+result; an aboriginal reappears to prove the plastic powers of nature.
+
+My great-grandfather, Locke Morgeson, the old man whose head I saw
+bound in a red handkerchief, was the first noticeable man of the name.
+He was a scale of enthusiasms, ranging from the melancholy to the
+sarcastic. When I heard him talked of, it seemed to me that he was
+born under the influence of the sea, while the rest of the tribe
+inherited the character of the landscape. Comprehension of life, and
+comprehension of self, came too late for him to make either of value.
+The spirit of progress, however, which prompted his schemes benefited
+others. The most that could be said of him was that he had the
+rudiments of a Founder.
+
+My father, whose name was Locke Morgeson also, married early. My
+mother was five years his elder; her maiden name was Mary Warren. She
+was the daughter of Philip Warren, of Barmouth, near Surrey. He was
+the best of the Barmouth tailors, though he never changed the cut of
+his garments; he was a rigidly pious man, of great influence in the
+church, and was descended from Sir Edward Warren, a gentleman of
+Devon, who was knighted by Queen Elizabeth. The name of his more
+immediate ancestor, Richard Warren, was in "New England's Memorial."
+How father first met mother I know not. She was singularly
+beautiful--beautiful even to the day of her death; but she was poor,
+and without connection, for Philip Warren was the last of his name.
+What the Warrens might have been was nothing to the Morgesons; they
+themselves had no past, and only realized the present. They never
+thought of inquiring into that matter, so they opposed, with great
+promptness, father's wish to marry Mary Warren. All, except old Locke
+Morgeson, his grandfather, who rode over to Barmouth to see her one
+day, and when he came back told father to take her, offered him half
+his house to live in, and promised to push him in the world. His offer
+quelled the rioters, silencing in particular the opposition of John
+Morgeson, father's father.
+
+In a month from this time, Locke Morgeson, Jr., took Mary Warren from
+her father's house as his wife. Grandfather Warren prayed a long,
+unintelligible prayer over them, helped them into the large,
+yellow-bottomed chaise which belonged to Grandfather Locke, and the
+young couple drove to their new home, the old mansion. Grandfather
+Locke went away in the same yellow-bottomed chaise a week after, and
+returned in a few days with a tall lady of fifty by his side--"Marm
+Tamor," a twig of the Morgeson tree, being his third cousin, whom he
+had married. This marriage was Grandfather Locke's last mistake. He
+was then near eighty, but lived long enough to fulfill his promises
+to father. The next year I was born, and four years after, my sister
+Veronica. Grandfather Locke named us, and charged father not to
+consult the Morgeson tombstones for names.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+
+"Mrs. Saunders," said mother, "don't let that soap boil over. Cassy,
+keep away from it."
+
+"Lord," replied Mrs. Saunders, "there's no fat in the bones to bile.
+Cassy's grown dreadful fast, ain't she? How long has the old man been
+dead, Mis Morgeson?"
+
+"Three years, Mrs. Saunders."
+
+"How time do fly," remarked Mrs. Saunders, mopping her wrinkled face
+with a dark-blue handkerchief. "The winter's sass is hardly put in
+the cellar 'fore we have to cut off the sprouts, and up the taters
+for planting agin. We shall all foller him soon." And she stirred the
+bones in the great kettle with the vigor of an ogress.
+
+When I heard her ask the question about Grandfather Locke, the
+interval that had elapsed since his death swept through my mind. What
+a little girl I was at the time! How much had since happened! But no
+thought remained with me long. I was about to settle whether I would
+go to the beach and wade, or into the woods for snake-flowers, till
+school-time, when my attention was again arrested by Mrs. Saunders
+saying, "I spose Marm Tamor went off with a large slice, and Mr. John
+Morgeson is mad to this day?"
+
+Mother was prevented from answering by the appearance of the said Mr.
+John Morgeson, who darkened the threshold of the kitchen door, but
+advanced no further. I looked at him with curiosity; if he were mad,
+he might be interesting. He was a large, portly man, over sixty, with
+splendid black hair slightly grizzled, a prominent nose, and fair
+complexion. I did not like him, and determined not to speak to him.
+
+"Say good-morning, Cassandra," said mother, in a low voice.
+
+"No," I answered loudly, "I am not fond of my grandfather."
+
+Mrs. Saunders mopped her face again, grinning with delight behind her
+handkerchief.
+
+"Debby, my wife, wants you, Mis Saunders, after you have made Mary's
+soap," he said.
+
+"Surely," she answered.
+
+"Where is the black horse to-day?" he asked mother.
+
+"Locke has gone to Milford with him."
+
+"I wanted the black horse to-day," he said, turning away.
+
+"He's a mighty grand man, he is," commented Mrs. Saunders. "I am
+pesky glad, Mis Morgeson, that you have never put foot in his house. I
+'plaud your sperit!"
+
+"School-time, Cassy," said mother. "Will you have some gingerbread
+to carry? Tell me when you come home what you have read in the New
+Testament."
+
+"My boy does read beautiful," said Mrs. Saunders. "Where's the potash,
+Mis Morgeson?"
+
+I heard the bell toll as I loitered along the roadside, pulling a
+dandelion here and there, for it was in the month of May, and
+throwing it in the rut for the next wheel to crush. When I reached
+the schoolhouse I saw through the open door that the New Testament
+exercise was over. The teacher, Mrs. Desire Cushman, a tall, slender
+woman, in a flounced calico dress, was walking up and down the room; a
+class of boys and girls stood in a zigzag line before her, swaying to
+and fro, and drawling the multiplication table. She was yawning as
+I entered, which exercise forbade her speaking, and I took my seat
+without a reprimand. The flies were just coming; I watched their
+sticky legs as they feebly crawled over my old unpainted notched
+desk, and crumbled my gingerbread for them; but they seemed to have no
+appetite. Some of the younger children were drowsy already, lulled by
+the hum of the whisperers. Feeling very dull, I asked permission to go
+to the water-pail for a drink; let the tin cup fall into the water so
+that the floor might be splashed; made faces at the good scholars, and
+did what I could to make the time pass agreeably. At noon mother sent
+my dinner, with the request that I should stay till night, on account
+of my being in the way while the household was in the crisis of
+soap-making and whitewashing. I was exasperated, but I stayed. In the
+afternoon the minister came with two strangers to visit the school. I
+went through my lessons with dignified inaccuracy, and was commended.
+Going back, I happened to step on a loose board under my seat. I
+determined to punish Mrs. Desire for the undeserved praise I had just
+received, and pushed the board till it clattered and made a dust.
+When Mrs. Desire detected me she turned white with anger. I pushed it
+again, making so much noise that the visitors turned to see the cause.
+She shook her head in my direction, and I knew what was in store, as
+we had been at enmity a long time, and she only waited for a decisive
+piece of mischief on my part. As soon as the visitors had gone, she
+said in a loud voice: "Cassandra Morgeson, take your books and go
+home. You shall not come here another day."
+
+I was glad to go, and marched home with the air of a conqueror, going
+to the keeping-room where mother sat with a basket of sewing. I saw
+Temperance Tinkham, the help, a maiden of thirty, laying the table for
+supper.
+
+"Don't wrinkle the tablecloth," she said crossly; "and hang up your
+bonnet in the entry, where it belongs," taking it from me as she gave
+the order, and going out to hang it up herself.
+
+"I am turned out of school, mother, for pushing a board with my foot."
+
+"Hi," said father, who was waiting for his supper; "come here," and he
+whistled to me. He took me on his knee, while mother looked at me with
+doubt and sorrow.
+
+"She is almost a woman, Mary."
+
+"Locke, do you know that I am thirty-eight?"
+
+"And you are thirty-three, father," I exclaimed. He looked younger.
+I thought him handsome; he had a frank, firm face, an abundance of
+light, curly hair, and was very robust. I took off his white
+beaver hat, and pushed the curls away from his forehead. He had his
+riding-whip in his hand. I took that, too, and snapped it at our
+little dog, Kip. Father's clothes also pleased me--a lavender-colored
+coat, with brass buttons, and trousers of the same color. I mentally
+composed for myself a suit to match his, and thought how well we
+should look calling at Lady Teazle's house in London, only I was
+worried because my bonnet seemed to be too large for me. A loud crash
+in the kitchen disturbed my dream, and Temperance rushed in, dragging
+my sister Veronica, whose hair was streaming with milk; she had pulled
+a panful over her from the buttery shelf, while Temperance was taking
+up the supper. Father laughed, but mother said:
+
+"What have I done, to be so tormented by these terrible children?"
+
+Her mild blue eyes blazed, as she stamped her foot and clenched her
+hands. Father took his hat and left the room. Veronica sat down on the
+floor, with her eyes fixed upon her, and I leaned against the wall. It
+was a gust that I knew would soon blow over. Veronica knew it also. At
+the right moment she cried out: "Help Verry, she is sorry."
+
+"Do eat your supper," Temperance called out in a loud voice. "The hash
+is burnt to flinders."
+
+She remained in the room to comment on our appetites, and encourage
+Veronica, who was never hungry, to eat.
+
+Veronica was an elfish creature, nine years old, diminutive and pale.
+Her long, silky brown hair, which was as straight as an Indian's, like
+mother's, and which she tore out when angry, usually covered her face,
+and her wild eyes looked wilder still peeping through it. She was too
+strange-looking for ordinary people to call her pretty, and so odd in
+her behavior, so full of tricks, that I did not love her. She was a
+silent child, and liked to be alone. But whoever had the charge of her
+must be watchful. She tasted everything, and burnt everything, within
+her reach. A blazing fire was too strong a temptation to be resisted.
+The disappearance of all loose articles was ascribed to her; but
+nothing was said about it, for punishment made her more impish and
+daring in her pursuits. She had a habit of frightening us by hiding,
+and appearing from places where no one had thought of looking for her.
+People shook their heads when they observed her. The Morgesons smiled
+significantly when she was spoken of, and asked:
+
+"Do you think she is like her mother?"
+
+There was a conflict in mother's mind respecting Veronica. She did not
+love her as she loved me; but strove the harder to fulfill her duty.
+When Verry suffered long and mysterious illnesses, which made her
+helpless for weeks, she watched her day and night, but rarely caressed
+her. At other times Verry was left pretty much to herself and her
+ways, which were so separate from mine that I scarcely saw her. We
+grew up ignorant of each other's character, though Verry knew me
+better than I knew her; in time I discovered that she had closely
+observed me, when I was most unaware.
+
+We began to prosper about this time.
+
+"Old Locke Morgeson had a long head," people said, when they talked
+of our affairs. Father profited by his grandfather's plans, and
+his means, too; less visionary, he had modified and brought out
+practically many of his projections. Old Locke had left little to his
+son John Morgeson, in the belief that father was the man to carry out
+his ideas. Besides money, he left him a tract of ground running north
+and south, a few rods beyond the old house, and desired him to build
+upon it. This he was now doing, and we expected to move into our new
+house before autumn.
+
+All the Morgesons wished to put money in a company, as soon as father
+could prove that it would be profitable. They were ready to own shares
+in the ships which he expected to build, when it was certain that
+they would make lucky voyages. He declined their offers, but they all
+"knuckled" to the man who had been bold enough to break the life-long
+stagnation of Surrey, and approved his plans as they matured. His mind
+was filled with the hope of creating a great business which should
+improve Surrey. New streets had been cut through his property and that
+of grandfather, who, narrow as he was, could not resist the popular
+spirit; lots had been laid out, and cottages had gone up upon them. To
+matters of minor importance father gave little heed; his domestic life
+was fast becoming a habit. The constant enlargement of his schemes was
+already a necessary stimulant.
+
+I did not go back to Mrs. Desire's school. Mother said that I must be
+useful at home. She sent me to Temperance, and Temperance sent me to
+play, or told me to go "a visitin'." I did not care to visit, for in
+consequence of being turned out of school, which was considered an
+indelible disgrace and long remembered, my schoolmates regarded me in
+the light of a Pariah, and put on insufferably superior airs when they
+saw me. So, like Veronica, I amused myself, and passed days on the
+sea-shore, or in the fields and woods, mother keeping me in long
+enough to make a square of patchwork each day and to hear her read
+a Psalm--a duty which I bore with patience, by guessing when the
+"Selahs" would come in, and counting them. But wherever I was, or
+whatever I did, no feeling of beauty ever stole into my mind. I never
+turned my face up to the sky to watch the passing of a cloud, or mused
+before the undulating space of sea, or looked down upon the earth with
+the curiosity of thought, or spiritual aspiration. I was moved and
+governed by my sensations, which continually changed, and passed
+away--to come again, and deposit vague ideas which ignorantly haunted
+me. The literal images of all things which I saw were impressed on my
+shapeless mind, to be reproduced afterward by faculties then latent.
+But what satisfaction was that? Doubtless the ideal faculty was
+active in Veronica from the beginning; in me it was developed by the
+experience of years. No remembrance of any ideal condition comes with
+the remembrance of my childish days, and I conclude that my mind, if I
+had any, existed in so rudimental a state that it had little influence
+upon my character.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+One afternoon in the following July, tired of walking in the mown
+fields, and of carrying a nest of mice, which I had discovered under
+a hay-rick, I concluded I would begin a system of education with them;
+so arranging them on a grape-leaf, I started homeward. Going in by the
+kitchen, I saw Temperance wiping the dust from the best china, which
+elated me, for it was a sign that we were going to have company to
+tea.
+
+"You evil child," she said, "where have you been? Your mother has
+wanted you these hours, to dress you in your red French calico with
+wings to it. Some of the members are coming to tea; Miss Seneth
+Jellatt, and she that was Clarissa Tripp, Snow now, and Miss Sophrony
+G. Dexter, and more besides."
+
+I put my mice in a basket, and begged Temperance to allow me to finish
+wiping the china; she consented, adjuring me not to let it fall. "Mis
+Morgeson would die if any of it should be broken." I adored it, too.
+Each piece had a peach, or pear, or a bunch of cherries painted on it,
+in lustrous brown. The handles were like gold cords, and the covers
+had knobs of gilt grapes.
+
+"What preserves are you going to put on the table?" I asked.
+
+"Them West Ingy things Capen Curtis's son brought home, and quartered
+quince, though I expect Mis Dexter will remark that the surup is
+ropy."
+
+"I wish you wouldn't have cheese."
+
+"We _must_ have cheese," she said solemnly. "I expect they'll drink
+our green tea till they make bladders of themselves, it is so good.
+Your father is a first-rate man; he is an excellent provider, and
+any woman ought to be proud of him, for he does buy number one in
+provisions."
+
+I looked at her with admiration and respect.
+
+"Capen Curtis," she continued, pursuing a train of thought which the
+preserves had started, "will never come home, I guess. He has been in
+furen parts forever and a day; his wife has looked for him, a-twirling
+her thumb and fingers, every day for ten years. I heard your mother
+had engaged her to go in the new house; she'll take the upper hand of
+us all. Your grandfather, Mr. John Morgeson, is willing to part with
+her; tired of her, I spose. She has been housekeeping there, off
+and on, these thirty years. She's fifty, if she is a day, is Hepsy
+Curtis."
+
+"Is she as stingy as you are?" I asked.
+
+"You'll find out for yourself, Miss. I rather think you won't be
+allowed to crumble over the buttery shelves."
+
+I finished the cup, and was watching her while she grated loaf-sugar
+over a pile of doughnuts, when mother entered, and begged me to come
+upstairs with her to be dressed.
+
+"Where is Verry, mother?"
+
+"In the parlor, with a lemon in one hand and Robinson Crusoe in the
+other. She will be good, she says. Cassy, you won't teaze me to-day,
+will you?"
+
+"No, indeed, mother," and clapping my hands, "I like you too well."
+
+She laughed.
+
+"These Morgesons beat the dogs," I heard Temperance say, as we shut
+the door and went upstairs.
+
+I skipped over the shiny, lead-colored floor of the chamber in my
+stockings, while mother was taking from the bureau a clean suit for
+me, and singing "Bonny Doon," with the sweetest voice in the world.
+She soon arrayed me in my red calico dress, spotted with yellow stars.
+I was proud of its buckram undersleeves, though they scratched my
+arms, and admired its wings, which extended over the protecting
+buckram.
+
+"It is three o'clock; the company will come soon. Be careful of your
+dress. You must stand by me at the table to hand the cups of tea."
+
+She left me standing in a chair, so that I might see my pantalettes in
+the high-hung glass, and the effect of my balloon-like sleeves. Then
+I went back to the kitchen to show myself to Temperance, and to enjoy
+the progress of tea.
+
+The table was laid in the long keeping-room adjoining the kitchen,
+covered with a striped cloth of crimson and blue, smooth as satin to
+the touch. Temperance had turned the plates upside-down around the
+table, and placed in a straight line through the middle a row of
+edibles. She was going to have waffles, she said, and shortcake; they
+were all ready to bake, and she wished to the Lord they would come and
+have it over with. With the silver sugar-tongs I slyly nipped lumps
+of sugar for my private eating, and surveyed my features in the
+distorting mirror of the pot-bellied silver teapot, ordinarily laid up
+in flannel. When the company had arrived, Temperance advised me to go
+in the parlor.
+
+"Sit down, when you get there, and show less," she said. I went in
+softly, and stood behind mother's chair, slightly abashed for a moment
+in the presence of the party--some eight or ten ladies, dressed
+in black levantine, or cinnamon-colored silks, who were seated in
+rocking-chairs, all the rocking-chairs in the house having been
+carried to the parlor for the occasion. They were knitting, and every
+one had a square velvet workbag. Most of them wore lace caps, trimmed
+with white satin ribbon. They were larger, more rotund, and older than
+mother, whose appearance struck me by contrast. Perhaps it was the
+first time I observed her dress; her face I must have studied before,
+for I knew all her moods by it. Her long, lusterless, brown hair was
+twisted around a high-topped tortoise-shell comb; it was so heavy and
+so carelessly twisted that the comb started backward, threatening
+to fall out. She had minute rings of filigreed gold in her ears.
+Her dress was a gray pongee, simply made and short; I could see her
+round-toed morocco shoes, tied with black ribbon. She usually took
+out her shoestrings, not liking the trouble of tying them. A ruffle of
+fine lace fell around her throat, and the sleeves of her short-waisted
+dress were puffed at the shoulders. Her small white hands were folded
+in her lap, for she was idle; on the little finger of her left hand
+twinkled a brilliant garnet ring, set with diamonds. Her face was
+colorless, the forehead extremely low, the nose and mouth finely cut,
+the eyes of heavenly blue. Although youth had gone, she was beautiful,
+with an indescribable air of individuality. She influenced all who
+were near her; her atmosphere enveloped them. She was not aware of it,
+being too indifferent to the world to observe what effect she had
+in it, and only realized that she was to herself a self-tormentor.
+Whether she attracted or repelled, the power was the same. I make no
+attempt to analyze her character. I describe her as she appeared,
+and as my memory now holds her. I never understood her, and for that
+reason she attracted my attention. I felt puzzled now, she seemed
+so different from anybody else. My observation was next drawn to
+Veronica, who, entirely at home, walked up and down the room in a
+blue cambric dress. She was twisting in her fingers a fine gold
+chain, which hung from her neck. I caught her cunning glance as she
+flourished some tansy leaves before her face, imitating Mrs. Dexter to
+the life. I laughed, and she came to me.
+
+"See," she said softly, "I have something from heaven." She lifted her
+white apron, and I saw under it, pinned to her dress, a splendid black
+butterfly, spotted with red and gold.
+
+"It is mine," she said, "you shall not touch it. God blew it in
+through the window; but it has not breathed yet."
+
+"Pooh; I have three mice in the kitchen."
+
+"Where is the mother?"
+
+"In the hayrick, I suppose, I left it there."
+
+"I hate you," she said, in an enraged voice. "I would strike you, if
+it wasn't for this holy butterfly."
+
+"Cassandra," said Mrs. Dexter, "does look like her pa; the likeness is
+ex-tri-ordinary. They say my William resembles me; but parients are no
+judges."
+
+A faint murmur rose from the knitters, which signified agreement with
+her remark.
+
+"I do think," she continued, "that it is high time Dr. Snell had a
+colleague; he has outlived his usefulness. I never could say that
+I thought he was the right kind of man for our congregation; his
+principals as a man I have nothing to say against; but _why_ don't we
+have revivals?"
+
+When Mrs. Dexter wished to be elegant she stepped out of the
+vernacular. She was about to speak again when the whole party broke
+into a loud talk on the subject she had started, not observing
+Temperance, who appeared at the door, and beckoned to mother. I
+followed her out.
+
+"The members are goin' it, ain't they?" she said. "Do see if things
+are about right, Mis Morgeson." Mother made a few deviations from the
+straight lines in which Temperance had ranged the viands, and told her
+to put the tea on the tray, and the chairs round the table.
+
+"There's no place for Mr. Morgeson," observed Temperance.
+
+"He is in Milford," mother replied.
+
+"The brethren wont come, I spose, till after dark?"
+
+"I suppose not."
+
+"Glad to get rid of their wives' clack, I guess."
+
+From the silence which followed mother's return to the parlor, I
+concluded they were performing the ancient ceremony of waiting for
+some one to go through the doorway first. They came at last with an
+air of indifference, as if the idea of eating had not yet occurred,
+and delayed taking seats till mother urged it; then they drew up to
+the table, hastily, turned the plates right-side up, spread large silk
+handkerchiefs over their laps, and, with their eyes fixed on space,
+preserved a dead silence, which was only broken by mother's inquiries
+about their taste in milk or sugar. Temperance came in with plates
+of waffles and buttered shortcake, which she offered with a cut and
+thrust air, saying, as she did so, "I expect you can't eat them; I
+know they are tough."
+
+Everybody, however, accepted both. She then handed round the
+preserves, and went out to bake more waffles.
+
+By this time the cups had circled the table, but no one had tasted a
+morsel.
+
+"Do help yourselves," mother entreated, whereat they fell upon the
+waffles.
+
+"Temperance is as good a cook as ever," said one; "she is a prize,
+isn't she, Mis Morgeson?"
+
+"She is faithful and industrious," mother replied.
+
+All began at once on the subject of help, and were as suddenly
+quenched by the reappearance of Temperance, with fresh waffles, and a
+dish of apple-fritters.
+
+"Do eat these if you can, ladies; the apples are only russets, and
+they are kinder dead for flavoring. I see you don't eat a mite; I
+expected you could not; it's poor trash." And she passed the cake
+along, everybody taking a piece of each kind.
+
+After drinking a good many cups of tea, and praising it, their
+asceticism gave way to its social effect, and they began to gossip,
+ridiculing their neighbors, and occasionally launching innuendoes
+against their absent lords. It is well known that when women meet
+together they do not discuss their rights, but take them, in revealing
+the little weaknesses and peculiarities of their husbands. The worst
+wife-driver would be confounded at the air of easy superiority assumed
+on these occasions by the meekest and most unsuspicious of her sex.
+Insinuations of So and So's not being any better than she should
+be passed from mouth to mouth, with a glance at me; and I heard the
+proverb of "Little pitchers," when mother rose suddenly from the
+table, and led the way to the parlor.
+
+"Where is Veronica?" asked Temperance, who was piling the debris
+of the feast. "She has been in mischief, I'll warrant; find her,
+Cassandra."
+
+She was upstairs putting away her butterfly, in the leaves of her
+little Bible. She came down with me, and Temperance coaxed her to eat
+her supper, by vowing that she should be sick abed, unless she
+liked her fritters and waffles. I thought of my mice, while making
+a desultory meal standing, and went to look at them; they were gone.
+Wondering if Temperance had thrown the creatures away, I remembered
+that I had been foolish enough to tell Veronica, and rushed back to
+her. When she saw me, she raised a saucer to her face, pretending to
+drink from it.
+
+"Verry, where are the mice?"
+
+"Are they gone?"
+
+"Tell me."
+
+"What will you do if I don't?"
+
+"I know," and I flew upstairs, tore the poor butterfly from between
+the leaves of the Bible, crushed it in my hand, and brought it down to
+her. She did not cry when she saw it, but choked a little, and turned
+away her head.
+
+It was now dark, and hearing a bustle in the entry I looked out, and
+saw several staid men slowly rubbing their feet on the door-mat; the
+husbands had come to escort their wives home, and by nine o'clock they
+all went. Veronica and I stayed by the door after they had gone.
+
+"Look at Mrs. Dexter," she said; "I put the mice in her workbag."
+
+I burst into a laugh, which she joined in presently.
+
+"I am sorry about the butterfly, Verry." And I attempted to take her
+hand, but she pushed me away, and marched off whistling.
+
+A few days after this, sitting near the window at twilight, intent
+upon a picture in a book of travels, of a Hindoo swinging from a high
+pole with hooks in his flesh, and trying to imagine how much it
+hurt him, my attention was arrested by a mention of my name in a
+conversation held between mother and Mr. Park, one of the neighbors.
+He occasionally spent an evening at our house, passing it in polemical
+discussion, revising the prayers and exhortations which he made at
+conference meetings. The good man was a little vain of having the
+formulas of his creed at his tongue's end. She sometimes lost the
+thread of his discourse, but argued also as if to convince herself
+that she could rightly distinguish between Truth and Illusion, but
+never discussed religious topics with father. Like all the Morgesons,
+he was Orthodox, accepting what had been provided by others for his
+spiritual accommodation. He thought it well that existing Institutions
+should not be disturbed. "Something worse might be established
+instead." His turn of mind, in short, was not Evangelical.
+
+"Are the Hindoos in earnest, mother?" and I thrust the picture before
+her. She warned me off.
+
+"Do you think, Mr. Park, that Cassandra can understand the law of
+transgression?"
+
+An acute perception that it was in my power to escape a moral penalty,
+by willful ignorance, was revealed to me, that I could continue the
+privilege of sinning with impunity. His answer was complicated, and
+he quoted several passages from the Scriptures. Presently he began to
+sing, and I grew lonesome; the life within me seemed a black cave.
+
+    "_Our nature's totally depraved--
+      The heart a sink of sin;
+    Without a change we can't be saved,
+      Ye must be born again_."
+
+Temperance opened the door. "Is Veronica going to bed to-night?" she
+asked.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+
+The next September we moved. Our new house was large and handsome. On
+the south side there was nothing between it and the sea, except a few
+feet of sand. No tree or shrub intercepted the view. To the eastward a
+promontory of rocks jutted into the sea, serving as a pier against
+the wash of the tide, and adding a picturesqueness to the curve of the
+beach. On the north side flourished an orchard, which was planted by
+Grandfather Locke. Looking over the tree-tops from the upper north
+windows, one would have had no suspicion of being in the neighborhood
+of the sea. From these windows, in winter, we saw the nimbus of the
+Northern Light. The darkness of our sky, the stillness of the night,
+mysteriously reflected the perpetual condition of its own solitary
+world. In summer ragged white clouds rose above the horizon, as if
+they had been torn from the sky of an underworld, to sail up the
+blue heaven, languish away, or turn livid with thunder, and roll off
+seaward. Between the orchard and the house a lawn sloped easterly to
+the border of a brook, which straggled behind the outhouses into a
+meadow, and finally lost itself among the rocks on the shore. Up by
+the lawn a willow hung over it, and its outer bank was fringed by
+the tangled wild-grape, sweet-briar, and alder bushes. The premises,
+except on the seaside, were enclosed by a high wall of rough granite.
+No houses were near us, on either side of the shore; up the north road
+they were scattered at intervals.
+
+Mother said I must be considered a young lady, and should have my own
+room. Veronica was to have one opposite, divided from it by a wide
+passage. This passage extended beyond the angle of the stairway, and
+was cut off by a glass door. A wall ran across the lower end of the
+passage; half the house was beyond its other side, so that when the
+door was fastened, Veronica and myself were in a cul-de-sac.
+
+The establishment was put on a larger footing. Mrs. Hepsey Curtis was
+installed mistress of the kitchen. Temperance declared that she could
+not stand it; that she wasn't a nigger; that she must go, but she had
+no home, and no friends--nothing but a wood lot, which was left her
+by her father the miller. As the trees thereon grew, promising to make
+timber, its value increased; at present her income was limited to the
+profit from the annual sale of a cord or two of wood. So she staid on,
+in spite of Hepsey. There were also two men for the garden and stable.
+A boy was always attached to the house; not the same boy, but a Boy
+dynasty, for as soon as one went another came, who ate a great deal--a
+crime in Hepsey's eyes--and whose general duty was to carry armfuls of
+wood, pails of milk, or swill, and to shut doors.
+
+We had many visitors. Though father had no time to devote to guests,
+he was continually inviting people for us to entertain, and his
+invitations were taken as a matter of course, and finally for granted.
+A rich Morgeson was a new feature in the family annals, and distant
+relations improved the advantage offered them by coming to spend the
+summer with us, because their own houses were too hot, or the winter,
+because they were too cold! Infirm old ladies, who were not related to
+us, but who had nowhere else to visit, came. As his business extended,
+our visiting list extended. The captains of his ships whose homes were
+elsewhere brought their wives to be inconsolable with us after their
+departure on their voyages. We had ministers often, who always quarter
+at the best houses, and chance visitors to dinner and supper, who made
+our house a way-station. There was but small opportunity to cultivate
+family affinities; they were forever disturbed. Somebody was always
+sitting in the laps of our Lares and Penates. Another class of
+visitors deserving notice were those who preferred to occupy the
+kitchen and back chambers, humbly proud and bashfully arrogant people,
+who kept their hats and bonnets by them, and small bundles, to delude
+themselves and us with the idea that they "had not come to stay, and
+had no occasion for any attention." These people criticised us
+with insinuating severity, and proposed amendments with unrelenting
+affability. To this class Veronica was most attracted--it repelled me;
+consequently she was petted, and I was amiably sneered at.
+
+This period of our family life has left small impression of dramatic
+interest. There was no development of the sentiments, no betrayal of
+the fluctuations of the passions which must have existed. There was
+no accident to reveal, no coincidence to surprise us. Hidden among
+the Powers That Be, which rule New England, lurks the Deity of the
+Illicit. This Deity never obtained sovereignty in the atmosphere
+where the Morgesons lived. Instead of the impression which my
+after-experience suggests to me to seek, I recall arrivals and
+departures, an eternal smell of cookery, a perpetual changing of beds,
+and the small talk of vacant minds.
+
+Despite the rigors of Hepsey in the kitchen, and the careful
+supervision of Temperance, there was little systematic housekeeping.
+Mother had severe turns of planning, and making rules, falling upon
+us in whirlwinds of reform, shortly allowing the band of habit to snap
+back, and we resumed our former condition. She had no assistance from
+father in her ideas of change. It was enough for him to know that he
+had built a good house to shelter us, and to order the best that could
+be bought for us to eat and to wear. He liked, when he went where
+there were fine shops, to buy and bring home handsome shawls, bonnets,
+and dresses, wholly unsuited in general to the style and taste of each
+of us, but much handsomer than were needful for Surrey. They answered,
+however, as patterns for the plainer materials of our neighbors. He
+also bought books for us, recommended by their covers, or the opinion
+of the bookseller. His failing was to buy an immense quantity of
+everything he fancied.
+
+"I shall never have to buy this thing again," he would say; "let us
+have enough."
+
+Veronica and I grew up ignorant of practical or economical ways. We
+never saw money, never went shopping. Mother was indifferent in regard
+to much of the business of ordinary life which children are taught to
+understand. Father and mother both stopped at the same point with us,
+but for a different reason; father, because he saw nothing beyond the
+material, and mother, because her spiritual insight was confused and
+perplexing. But whatever a household may be, the Destinies spin the
+web to their will, put of the threads which drop hither and thither,
+floating in its atmosphere, white, black, or gray.
+
+From the time we moved, however, we were a stirring, cheerful family,
+independent of each other, but spite of our desultory tastes, mutual
+habits were formed. When the want of society was felt, we sought the
+dining-room, sure of meeting others with the same want. This room was
+large and central, connecting with the halls, kitchen, and mother's
+room. It was a caravansary where people dropped in and out on
+their way to some other place. Our most public moments were during
+meal-time. It was known that father was at home at breakfast and
+supper, and could be consulted. As he was away at our noonday dinner,
+generally we were the least disturbed then, and it was a lawless,
+irregular, and unceremonious affair. Mother establisher her arm-chair
+here, and a stand for her workbasket. Hepsey and Temperance were at
+hand, the men came for orders, and it was convenient for the boy to
+transmit the local intelligence it was his vocation to collect. The
+windows commanded a view of the sea, the best in the house. This
+prospect served mother for exercise. Her eyes roved over it when she
+wanted a little out-of-doors life. If she desired more variety, which
+was seldom, she went to the kitchen. After we moved she grew averse
+to leaving the house, except to go to church. She never quitted the
+dining-room after our supper till bedtime, because father rarely came
+from Milford, where he went on bank days, and indeed almost every
+other day, till late, and she liked to be by him while he ate his
+supper and smoked a cigar. All except Veronica frequented this room;
+but she was not missed or inquired for. She liked the parlor, because
+the piano was there. As soon as father had bought it she astonished us
+by a persistent fingering of the keys, which produced a feeble melody.
+She soon played all the airs she had heard. When I saw what she could
+do, I refused to take music lessons, for while I was trying to
+learn "The White Cockade," she pushed me away, played it, and made
+variations upon it. I pounded the keys with my fist, by way of a
+farewell, and told her she should have the piano for her own.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+One winter morning before daylight, Veronica came to my room, and
+asked me if I had heard any walking about the house during the night.
+She had, and was going to inquire about it. She soon returned with,
+"You have a brother. Temperance says my nose is broken. He will be
+like you, I suppose, and have everything he asks for. I don't care
+for him; but," crying out with passion, "get up. Mother wants to see
+_you_, I know."
+
+I dressed quickly, and went downstairs with a feeling of indignation
+that such an event should have happened without my knowledge.
+
+There was an unwonted hush. A bright fire was burning on the
+dining-room hearth, the lamps were still lighted, and father was by
+the fire, smoking in a meditative manner. He put out his hand, which I
+did not take, and said, "Do you like his name--Arthur?"
+
+"Yes," I mumbled, as I passed him, and went to the kitchen, where
+Hepsey and Temperance were superintending the steeping of certain
+aromatic herbs, which stood round the fire in silver porringers and
+earthen pitchers.
+
+"Another Morgeson's come," said Temperance. "There's enough of them,
+such as they are--not but what they are good enough," correcting
+herself hastily.
+
+"Go into your mother's room, softly," said Hepsey, rubbing her fingers
+against her thumb--her habit when she was in a tranquil frame of mind.
+
+"_You_ are mighty glad, Hepsey," said Temperance.
+
+"Locke Morgeson ought to have a son," she replied, "to leave his money
+to."
+
+"I vow," answered Temperance, "girls are thought nothing of in this
+'ligous section; they may go to the poor house, as long as the sons
+have plenty."
+
+An uncommon fit or shyness seized me, mixed with a feeling of dread,
+as I crept into the room where mother was. My eyes first fell upon
+an elderly woman, who wore a long, wide, black apron, whose strings
+girded the middle of her cushion-like form. She was taking snuff. It
+was the widow Mehitable Allen, a lady whom I had often seen in other
+houses on similar occasions.
+
+"Shoo," she whispered nasally.
+
+I was arrested, but turned my eyes toward mother; hers were closed.
+Presently she murmured, "Thank God," opened them, and saw me. A smile
+lighted her pale countenance. "Cassy, my darling, kiss me. I am glad
+it is not a woman." As I returned her kiss her glance dropped on a
+small bunch by her side, which Mehitable took and deftly unrolled,
+informing me as she did so that it was a "Rouser."
+
+Aunt Mercy came the next day. She had not paid us a visit in a long
+time, being confined at home with the care of her father, Grandfather
+Warren. She took charge of Veronica and me, if taking charge means
+a series of guerilla skirmishes on both sides. I soon discovered,
+however, that she was prone to laughter, and that I could provoke
+it; we got on better after that discovery; but Veronica, disdaining
+artifice, was very cross with her. Aunt Mercy had a spark of fun in
+her composition, which was not quite crushed out by her religious
+education. She frequented the church oftener than mother, sang more
+hymns, attended all the anniversary celebrations, but she had no
+dreams, no enthusiasm. Her religion had leveled all needs and all
+aspirations. What the day brought forth answered her. She inspired me
+with a secret pity; for I knew she carried in her bosom the knowledge
+that she was an old maid.
+
+Before mother left her room Veronica was taken ill, and was not
+convalescent till spring. Delicacy of constitution the doctor called
+her disorder. She had no strength, no appetite, and looked more elfish
+than ever. She would not stay in bed, and could not sit up, so father
+had a chair made for her, in which she could recline comfortably. Aunt
+Merce put her in it every morning, and took her out every evening. My
+presence irritated her, so I visited her but seldom. She said I looked
+so well, it hurt her, and wished me to keep out of her sight, begged
+me never to talk loud in the vicinity of her room, my voice was
+so breezy. She amused herself in her own strange way. One of her
+amusements was to cut off her hair, lock by lock, and cut it short
+before she was well enough to walk about. She played on a jewsharp,
+and on a little fife when her breath permitted, and invented grotesque
+costumes out of bits of silk and lace. Temperance was much engaged,
+at her dictation, in the composition of elaborate dishes, which she
+rarely ate, but forced Temperance to. She was more patient with her
+than any other person; with us she was excessively high-tempered,
+especially with father. She could not bear to catch a glimpse of the
+sea, nor to hear it; if she heard it echoing in the house, she played
+on her fife, or jewsharp, or asked Aunt Merce to sing some old song.
+But she liked the view from the north windows, even when the boughs
+were bare and the fields barren. When the grass came, she ordered
+handfuls to be brought her and put in saucers of water. With the
+coming of the blossoms she began to mend. As for me, I was as much an
+animal as ever--robust in health--inattentive, and seeking excitement
+and exhilaration. I went everywhere, to Bible class, to Sunday school,
+and to every funeral which took place within our precincts. But I
+never looked upon the dead; perhaps that sight would have marred the
+slumbrous security which possessed me--the instinctive faith in the
+durability of my own powers of life.
+
+But a change was approaching. Aunt Merce considered my present state a
+hopeless one. She was outside the orbit of the family planet, and saw
+the tendency of its revolutions, perceiving that father and mother
+were absorbed in their individual affairs. She called mother's
+attention to my non-improvement, and proposed that I should return
+to Barmouth with her for a year, and become a pupil in a young lady's
+school, which had been recently established there, by a graduate of
+the Nipswich Female Seminary, a school distinguished for its ethics.
+Mother looked astonished, when she heard this proposal. "What!" she
+began with vehemence, "shall I subject"--but checked herself when she
+caught my eye, and continued more calmly: "We will decide soon."
+
+It was decided that I should go, without my being consulted in the
+matter. I felt resentful against mother, and could not understand
+till afterward, why she had consented to the plan. It was because she
+wished me to comprehend the influences of her early life, and learn
+some of the lessons she had been taught. At first, father "poohed"
+at the plan, but finally said it was a good place to tame me. When
+Veronica heard that I was going, she told me that I would be stifled,
+if I lived at Grandfather Warren's; but added that the plums in his
+garden were good, and advised me to sit on the yellow stone doorstep,
+under which the toads lived. She also informed me that she was glad of
+it, and hoped I would stay forever.
+
+To Barmouth I went, and in May entered Miss Black's genteel school.
+Miss Black had a conviction that her vocation was teaching. Necessity
+did not compel it, for she was connected with one of the richest
+families in Barmouth. At the end of the week my curiosity regarding my
+new position was quenched, and I dropped into the depths of my first
+wretchedness. I frantically demanded of father, who had stopped to
+see me on his way to Milford, to be taken home. He firmly resisted me.
+Once a month, I should go home and spend a Sunday, if I chose, and he
+would come to Barmouth every week.
+
+My agitation and despair clouded his face for a moment, then it
+cleared, and pinching my chin, he said, "Why don't you look like your
+mother?"
+
+"But she _is_ like her mother," said Aunt Merce.
+
+"Well, Cassy, good-by"; and he gave me a kiss with cruel nonchalance.
+I knew my year must be stayed out.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+My life at Grandfather Warren's was one kind of penance and my life
+in Miss Black's school another. Both differed from our home-life.
+My filaments found no nourishment, creeping between the two; but
+the fibers of youth are strong, and they do not perish. Grandfather
+Warren's house reminded me of the casket which imprisoned the Genii.
+I had let loose a Presence I had no power over--the embodiment of its
+gloom, its sternness, and its silence.
+
+With feeling comes observation; after that, one reasons. I began to
+observe. Aunt Mercy was not the Aunt Merce I had known at home. She
+wore a mask before her father. There was constraint between them;
+each repressed the other. The result of this relation was a formal,
+petrifying, unyielding system,--a system which, from the fact of its
+satisfying neither, was kept up the more rigidly; on the one side
+from a morbid conscience, which reiterated its monitions against
+the dictates of the natural heart; on the other, out of respect and
+timidity.
+
+Grandfather Warren was a little, lean, leather-colored man. His head
+was habitually bent, his eyes cast down; but when he raised them to
+peer about, their sharpness and clear intelligence gave his face
+a wonderful vitality. He chafed his small, well-shaped hands
+continually; his long polished nails clicked together with a shelly
+noise, like that which beetles make flying against the ceiling. His
+features were delicate and handsome; gentle blood ran in his veins,
+as I have said. All classes in Barmouth treated him with invariable
+courtesy. He was aboriginal in character, not to be moved by
+antecedent or changed by innovation--a Puritan, without gentleness or
+tenderness. He scarcely concealed his contempt for the emollients
+of life, or for those who needed them. He whined over no misfortune,
+pined for no pleasure. His two sons, who broke loose from him, went
+into the world, lived a wild, merry life, and died there, he never
+named. He found his wife dead by his side one morning. He did not go
+frantic, but selected a text for the funeral sermon; and when he stood
+by the uncovered grave, took off his hat and thanked his friends for
+their kindness with a loud, steady voice. Aunt Mercy told me that
+after her mother's death his habit of chafing his hands commenced;
+it was all the difference she saw in him, for he never spoke of his
+trouble or acknowledged his grief by sign or word.
+
+Though he had been frugal and industrious all his life, he had no more
+property than the old, rambling house we lived in, and a long, narrow
+garden attached to it, where there were a few plum and quince trees, a
+row of currant bushes, Aunt Mercy's beds of chamomile and sage, and a
+few flowers. At the end of the garden was a peaked-roof pigsty; it
+was cleanly kept, and its inhabitant had his meals served with the
+regularity which characterized all that Grandfather Warren did.
+Beautiful pigeons lived in the roof, and were on friendly terms with
+the occupant on the lower floor. The house was not unpicturesque. It
+was built on a corner, facing two streets. One front was a story high,
+with a slanting roof; the other, which was two-storied, sloped like
+a giraffe's back, down to a wood-shed. Clean cobwebs hung from its
+rafters, and neat heaps of fragrant chips were piled on the floor.
+
+The house had many rooms, all more or less dark and irregularly
+shaped. The construction of the chambers was so involved, I could
+not get out of one without going into another. Some of the ceilings
+slanted suddenly, and some so gradually that where I could stand
+erect, and where I must stoop, I never remembered, until my head
+was unpleasantly grazed, or my eyes filled with flakes of ancient
+lime-dust. A long chamber in the middle of the house was the shop,
+always smelling of woolen shreds. At sunset, summer or winter, Aunt
+Mercy sprinkled water on the unpainted floor, and swept it. While she
+swept I made my thumb sore, by snipping the bits of cloth that were
+scattered on the long counter by the window with Grand'ther's shears,
+or I scrawled figures with gray chalk, where I thought they might
+catch his eye. When she had finished sweeping she carefully sorted
+the scraps, and put them into boxes under the counter; then she neatly
+rolled up the brown-paper curtains, which had been let down to
+exclude the afternoon sun; shook the old patchwork cushions in the
+osier-bottomed chairs; watered the rose-geranium and the monthly rose,
+which flourished wonderfully in that fluffy atmosphere; set every pin
+and needle in its place, and shut the door, which was opened again at
+sunrise. Of late years, Grand'ther's occupation had declined. No new
+customers came. A few, who did not change the fashion of their garb,
+still patronized him. His income was barely three hundred dollars a
+year--eked out to this amount by some small pay for offices connected
+with the church, of which he was a prominent member. From this income
+he paid his pulpit tithe, gave to the poor, and lived independent and
+respectable. Mother endeavored in an unobtrusive way to add to his
+comfort; but he would only accept a few herrings from the Surrey
+Weir every spring, and a basket of apples every fall. He invariably
+returned her presents by giving her a share of his plums and quinces.
+
+I had only seen Grand'ther Warren at odd intervals. He rarely came
+to our house; when he did, he rode down on the top of the Barmouth
+stagecoach, returning in a few hours. As mother never liked to go to
+Barmouth, she seldom came to see me.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+
+It was five o'clock on Saturday afternoon when father left me. Aunt
+Mercy continued her preparations for tea, and when it was ready, went
+to the foot of the stairs, and called, "Supper." Grand'ther came down
+immediately followed by two tall, cadaverous women, Ruth and Sally
+Aikin, tailoresses, who sewed for him spring and fall. Living several
+miles from Barmouth, they stayed through the week, going home on
+Saturday night, to return on Monday morning. We stood behind the heavy
+oak chairs round the table, one of which Grand'ther tipped backward,
+and said a long grace, not a word of which was heard; for his teeth
+were gone, and he prayed in his throat. Aunt Mercy's "Moltee" rubbed
+against me, with her back and tail erect. I pinched the latter, and
+she gave a wail. Aunt Mercy passed her hand across her mouth, but the
+eyes of the two women were stony in their sockets. Grand'ther ended
+his grace with an upward jerk of his head as we seated ourselves.
+He looked sharply at me, his gray eyebrows rising hair by hair,
+and shaking a spoon at me said, "You are playing over your mother's
+capers."
+
+"The caper-bush grows on the shores of the Mediterranean sea,
+Grand'ther. Miss Black had it for a theme, out of the _Penny
+Magazine_; it is full of themes."
+
+"She had better give you a gospel theme."
+
+He was as inarticulate when he quoted Scripture as when he prayed, but
+I heard something about "thorns"; then he helped us to baked Indian
+pudding--our invariable Saturday night's repast. Aunt Mercy passed
+cups of tea; I heard the gulping swallow of it in every throat, the
+silence was so profound. After the pudding we had dried apple-pie,
+which we ate from our hands, like bread. Grand'ther ate fast, not
+troubling himself to ask us if we would have more, but making the
+necessary motions to that effect by touching the spoon in the pudding
+or knife on the pie. Ruth and Sally still kept their eyes fixed on
+some invisible object at a distance. What a disagreeable interest I
+felt in them! What had they in common with me? What could they enjoy?
+How unpleasant their dingy, crumbled, needle-pricked fingers were!
+Sally hiccoughed, and Ruth suffered from internal rumblings. Without
+waiting for each other when we had finished, we put our chairs against
+the wall and left the room. I rushed into the garden and trampled the
+chamomile bed. I had heard that it grew faster for being subjected
+to that process, and thought of the two women I had just seen while I
+crushed the spongy plants. Had _they_ been trampled upon? A feeling
+of pity stung me; I ran into the house, and found them on the point of
+departure, with little bundles in their hands.
+
+"Aunt Mercy will let me carry your bundles a part of the way for you;
+shall I?"
+
+"No, indeed," said Ruth, in a mild voice; "there's no heft in them;
+they are mites to carry."
+
+"Besides," chimed Sally, "you couldn't be trusted with them."
+
+"Are they worth anything?" I inquired, noticing then that both wore
+better dresses, and that the bundles contained their shop-gowns.
+
+"What made you pinch the moltee's tail?" asked Sally. "If you pinched
+my cat's tail, I would give you a sound whipping."
+
+"How could she, Sally," said Ruth, "when our cat's tail is cut short
+off?"
+
+"For all the world," remarked Sally, "that's the only way she can
+be managed. If things are cut off, and kept out of sight, or never
+mentioned before her, she may behave very well; not otherwise."
+
+"Good-by, Miss Ruth, and Sally, good-by," modulating my voice to
+accents of grief, and making a "cheese."
+
+They retreated with a less staid pace than usual, and I sought Aunt
+Mercy, who was preparing the Sunday's dinner. Twilight drew near, and
+the Sunday's clouds began to fall on my spirits. Between sundown and
+nine o'clock was a tedious interval. I was not allowed to go to bed,
+nor to read a secular book, or to amuse myself with anything. A dim
+oil-lamp burned on the high shelf of the middle room, our ordinary
+gathering-place. Aunt Mercy sat there, rocking in a low chair; the
+doors were open, and I wandered softly about. The smell of the
+garden herbs came in faintly, and now and then I heard a noise in
+the water-butt under the spout, the snapping of an old rafter, or
+something falling behind the wall. The toads crawled from under the
+plantain leaves, and hopped across the broad stone before the kitchen
+door, and the irreverent cat, with whom I sympathized, raced like mad
+in the grass. Growing duller, I went to the cellar door, which was in
+the front entry, opened it, and stared down in the black gulf, till
+I saw a gray rock rise at the foot of the stairs which affected my
+imagination. The foundation of the house was on the spurs of a great
+granite bed, which rose from the Surrey shores, dipped and cropped
+out in the center of Barmouth. It came through the ground again in the
+woodhouse, smooth and round, like the bald head of some old Titan, and
+in the border of the garden it burst through in narrow ridges full
+of seams. As I contemplated the rock, and inhaled a moldy atmosphere
+whose component parts were charcoal and potatoes, I heard the first
+stroke of the nine o'clock bell, which hung in the belfry of the
+church across the street. Although it was so near us that we could
+hear the bellrope whistle in its grooves, and its last hoarse breath
+in the belfry, there was no reverberation of its clang in the house;
+the rock under us struck back its voice. It was an old Spanish bell,
+Aunt Mercy told me. How it reached Barmouth she did not know. I
+recognized its complaining voice afterward. It told me it could never
+forget it had been baptized a Catholic; and it pined for the beggar
+who rang it in the land of fan-leaved chestnuts! It would growl and
+strangle as much as possible in the hands of Benjamin Beals, the
+bell-ringer and coffin-maker of Barmouth. Except in the morning when
+it called me up, I was glad to hear it. It was the signal of time
+past; the oftener I heard it, the nearer I was to the end of my year.
+Before it ceased to ring now Aunt Mercy called me in a low voice. I
+returned to the middle room, and took a seat in one of the oak chairs,
+whose back of upright rods was my nightly penance. Aunt Mercy took the
+lamp from the shelf, and placed it upon a small oak stand, where
+the Bible lay. Grand'ther entered, and sitting by the stand read a
+chapter. His voice was like opium. Presently my head rolled across the
+rods, and I felt conscious of slipping down the glassy seat. After
+he had read the chapter he prayed. If the chapter had been long, the
+prayer was short; if the chapter had been short, the prayer was long.
+When he had ceased praying, he left the room without speaking, and
+betook himself to bed. Aunt Mercy dragged me up the steep stairs,
+undressed me, and I crept into bed, drugged with a monotony which
+served but to deepen the sleep of youth and health. When the bell rang
+the next morning, Aunt Mercy gave me a preparatory shake before she
+began to dress, and while she walked up and down the room lacing her
+stays entreated me to get up.
+
+If the word lively could ever be used in reference to our life, it
+might be in regard to Sunday. The well was so near the church that the
+house was used as an inn for the accommodation of the church-goers who
+lived at any distance, and who did not return home between the morning
+and afternoon services. A regular set took dinner with us, and
+there were parties who brought lunch, which they ate off their
+handkerchiefs, on their knees. It was also a watering-place for the
+Sunday-school scholars, who filed in troops before the pail in the
+well-room, and drank from the cocoanut dipper. When the weather was
+warm our parlor was open, as it was to-day. Aunt Mercy had dusted it
+and ornamented the hearth with bunches of lilacs in a broken pitcher.
+Twelve yellow chairs, a mahogany stand, a dark rag-carpet, some
+speckled Pacific sea-shells on the shelf, among which stood a whale's
+tooth with a drawing of a cranky ship thereon, and an ostrich's egg
+that hung by a string from the ceiling, were the adornments of the
+room. When we were dressed for church, we looked out of the window
+till the bell tolled, and the chaise of the Baxters and Sawyers had
+driven to the gate; then we went ourselves. Grand'ther had preceded
+us, and was already in his seat. Aunt Mercy went up to the head of the
+pew, a little out of breath, from the tightness of her dress, and the
+ordeal of the Baxter and Sawyer eyes, for the pew, though off a side
+aisle, was in the neighborhood of the elite of the church; a clove,
+however, tranquilized her. I fixed my feet on a cricket, and examined
+the bonnets. The house filled rapidly, and last of all the minister
+entered. The singers began an anthem, singing in an advanced style of
+the art, I observed, for they shouted "_Armen_," while our singers in
+Surrey bellowed "_Amen_." When the sermon began I settled myself
+into a vague speculation concerning my future days of freedom; but my
+dreams were disturbed by the conduct of the Hickspold boys, who were
+in a pew in front of us. As in the morning, so in the afternoon and
+all the Sundays in the year. The variations of the season served but
+to deepen the uniformity of my heartsickness.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+
+Aunt Mercy had not introduced me to Miss Black as the daughter of
+Locke Morgeson, the richest man in Surrey, but simply as her niece.
+Her pride prevented her from making any exhibition of my antecedents,
+which was wise, considering that I had none. My grandfather,
+John Morgeson, was a nobody,--merely a "Co."; and though my
+great-grandfather, Locke Morgeson, was worthy to be called a Somebody,
+it was not his destiny to make a stir in the world. Many of the
+families of my Barmouth schoolmates had the fulcrum of a moneyed
+grandfather. The knowledge of the girls did not extend to that period
+in the family history when its patriarchs started in the pursuit of
+Gain. Elmira Sawyer, one of Miss Black's pupils, never heard that her
+grandfather "Black Peter," as he was called, had made excursions,
+in an earlier part of his life, on the River Congo, or that he was
+familiar with the soundings of Loango Bay. As he returned from his
+voyages, bringing more and more money, he enlarged his estate, and
+grew more and more respectable, retiring at last from the sea, to
+become a worthy landsman; he paid taxes to church and state, and
+even had a silver communion cup, among the pewter service used on
+the occasion of the Lord's Supper; but he never was brought to
+the approval of that project of the Congregational Churches,--the
+colonization of the Blacks to Liberia. Neither was Hersila Allen aware
+that the pink calico in which I first saw her was remotely owing to
+West India Rum. Nor did Charlotte Alden, the proudest girl in school,
+know that her grandfather's, Squire Alden's, stepping-stone to
+fortune was the loss of the brig _Capricorn_, which was wrecked in
+the vicinity of a comfortable port, on her passage out to the
+whaling-ground. An auger had been added to the meager outfit, and long
+after the sea had leaked through the hole bored through her bottom,
+and swallowed her, and the insurance had been paid, the truth leaked
+out that the captain had received instructions, which had been
+fulfilled. Whereupon two Insurance Companies went to law with him, and
+a suit ensued, which ended in their paying costs, in addition to what
+they had before paid Squire Alden, who winked in a derisive manner at
+the Board of Directors when he received its check.
+
+There were others who belonged in the category of Decayed Families,
+as exclusive as they were shabby. There were parvenus, which included
+myself. When I entered the school it was divided into clans, each
+with its spites, jealousies, and emulations. Its _esprit de corps_,
+however, was developed by my arrival; the girls united against me, and
+though I perceived, when I compared myself with them, that they were
+partly right in their opinions, their ridicule stupefied and crushed
+me. They were trained, intelligent, and adroit; I uncouth, ignorant,
+and without tact. It was impossible for Miss Black not to be affected
+by the general feeling in regard to me. Her pupils knew sooner than I
+that she sympathized with them. She embarrassed me, when I should have
+despised her. At first her regimen surprised, then filled me with a
+dumb, clouded anger, which made me appear apathetic.
+
+Miss Emily Black was a young woman, and, I thought, a handsome one.
+She had crenelated black hair, large black eyes, a Roman nose,
+and long white teeth. She bit her nails when annoyed, and when her
+superiority made her perceive the mental darkness of others she often
+laughed. Being pious, she conducted her school after the theologic
+pattern of the Nipswich Seminary, at which she had been educated.
+She opened the school each day with a religious exercise, reading
+something from the Bible, and commenting upon it, or questioning us
+regarding our ideas of what she read. She often selected the character
+of David, and was persistent in her efforts to explain and reconcile
+the discrepancies in the history of the royal Son of Israel.
+
+"Miss _C._ Morgeson, we will call you," she said, in our first
+interview; "the name of Cassandra is too peculiar."
+
+"My Grandfather Locke liked the name; my sister's is Veronica; do you
+like that better?"
+
+"It is of no consequence in the premises what your sister may be
+named," she replied, running her eyes over me. "What will she study,
+Miss Warren?"
+
+Aunt Mercy's recollections of my studies were dim, and her knowledge
+of my school days was not calculated to prepossess a teacher in my
+favor; but after a moment's delay, she said: "What you think best."
+
+"Very well," she answered; "I will endeavor to fulfill my Christian
+duty toward her. We will return to the school-room."
+
+We had held the conversation in the porch, and now Aunt Mercy gave me
+a nod of encouragement, and bidding Miss Black "Good day," departed,
+looking behind her as long as possible. I followed my teacher. As she
+opened the door forty eyes were leveled at me; my hands were in my way
+suddenly; my feet impeded my progress; how could I pass that wall of
+eyes? A wisp of my dry, rough hair fell on my neck and tickled it; as
+I tried to poke it under my comb, I glanced at the faces before me.
+How spirited and delicate they were! The creatures had their heads
+dressed as if they were at a party--in curls, or braids and ribbons.
+An open, blank, _noli me tangere_ expression met my perturbed glance.
+I stood still, but my head went round. Miss Black mounted her desk,
+and surveyed the school-room. "Miss Charlotte Alden, the desk next you
+is vacant; Miss C. Morgeson, the new pupil, may take it."
+
+Miss Charlotte answered, "Yes mim," and ostentatiously swept away an
+accumulation of pencils, sponges, papers, and books, to make room for
+me. I took the seat, previously stumbling against her, whereat all
+the girls, whose regards were fixed upon me, smiled. That was my
+initiation.
+
+The first day I was left to myself, to make studies. The school-room
+was in the vestry of the church, a building near grand'ther's house.
+Each girl had a desk before her. Miss Black occupied a high stool in
+a square box, where she heard single recitations, or lectured a pupil.
+The vestry yard, where the girls romped, and exercised with skipping
+ropes, a swing, and a set of tilting-boards, commanded a view of
+grand'ther's premises; his street windows were exposed to the fire of
+their eyes and tongues.
+
+After I went home I examined myself in the glass, and drew an
+unfavorable conclusion from the inspection. My hair was parted zigzag;
+one shoulder was higher than the other; my dress came up to my chin,
+and slipped down to my shoulder-blades. I was all waist; no hips were
+developed my hands were red, and my nails chipped. I opened the trunk
+where my wardrobe was packed; what belonged to me was comfortable,
+in reference to weather and the wash, but not pretty. I found a
+molasses-colored silk, called Turk satin--one of mother's old dresses,
+made over for me, or an invidious selection of hers from the purchases
+of father, who sometimes made a mistake in taste, owing to the
+misrepresentations of shopkeepers and milliners. While thus engaged
+Aunt Mercy came for me, and began to scold when she saw that I had
+tumbled my clothes out of the trunk.
+
+"Aunt Mercy, these things are horrid, all of them. Look at this
+shawl," and I unrolled a square silk fabric, the color of a sick
+orange. "Where did this come from?"
+
+"Saints upon earth!" she exclaimed, "your father bought it at the best
+store in New York. It was costly."
+
+"Now tell me, why do the pantalettes of those girls look so graceful?
+They do not twirl round the ankle like a rope, as mine do."
+
+"I can't say," she answered, with a sigh. "But you ought to wear long
+dresses; now yours are tucked, and could be let down."
+
+"And these red prunella boots--they look like boiled crabs." I put
+them on, and walked round the room crab-fashion, till she laughed
+hysterically. "Miss Charlotte Alden wears French kid slippers every
+day, and I must wear mine."
+
+"No," she said, "you must only wear them to church."
+
+"I shall talk to father about that, when he comes here next."
+
+"Cassy, did Charlotte Alden speak to you to-day?"
+
+"No; but she made an acquaintance by stares."
+
+"Well, never mind her if she says anything unpleasant to you; the
+Aldens are a high set."
+
+"Are they higher than we are in Surrey? Have they heard of my father,
+who is equal to the President?"
+
+"We are all equal in the sight of God."
+
+"You do not look as if you thought so, Aunt Mercy. Why do you say
+things in Barmouth you never said in Surrey?"
+
+"Come downstairs, Cassandra, and help me finish the dishes."
+
+Our conversation was ended; but I still had my thoughts on the clothes
+question, and revolved my plans.
+
+After the morning exercises the next day, Miss Black called me in to
+her desk. "I think," she said, "you had better study Geology. It is
+important, for it will lead your mind up from nature to nature's
+God. My young ladies have finished their studies in that direction;
+therefore you will recite alone, once a day."
+
+"Yes 'em," I replied; but it was the first time that I had heard of
+Geology. The compendium she gave me must have been dull and dry. I
+could not get its lessons perfectly. It never inspired me with any
+interest for land or sea. I could not associate any of its terms, or
+descriptions, with the great rock under grand'ther's house. It was
+not for Miss Black to open the nodules of my understanding, with her
+hammer of instruction. She proposed Botany also. The young ladies made
+botanical excursions to the fields and woods outside Barmouth; I
+might as well join the class at once. It was now in the family of the
+Legumes. I accompanied the class on one excursion. Not a soul appeared
+to know that I was present, and I declined going again. Composition
+I must write once a month. A few more details closed the interview. I
+mentioned in it that father desired me to study arithmetic. Miss Black
+placed me in a class; but her interests were in the higher and more
+elegant branches of education. I made no more advance in the humble
+walks of learning than in those adorned by the dissection of flowers,
+the disruption of rocks, or the graces of composition. Though I
+entered upon my duties under protest, I soon became accustomed to
+their routine, and the rest of my life seemed more like a dream of the
+future than a realization of the present. I refused to go home at the
+end of the month. I preferred waiting, I said, to the end of the year.
+I was not urged to change my mind; neither was I applauded for my
+resolution. The day that I could have gone home, I asked father to
+drive me to Milford, on the opposite side of the river which ran by
+Barmouth. I shut my eyes tight, when the horse struck the boards of
+the long wooden bridge between the towns, and opened them when we
+stopped at an inn by the water side of Milford. Father took me into a
+parlor, where sat a handsome, fat woman, hemming towels.
+
+"Is that you, Morgeson?" she said. "Is this your daughter?"
+
+"Yes; can I leave her with you, while I go to the bank? She has not
+been here before."
+
+"Lord ha' mercy on us; you clip her wings, don't you? Come here,
+child, and let me pull off your pelisse."
+
+I went to her with a haughty air; it did not please me to hear my
+father called "Morgeson," by a person unknown to me. She understood my
+expression, and looked up at father; they both smiled, and I was vexed
+with him for his unwarrantable familiarity. Pinching my cheek with her
+fat fingers, which were covered with red and green rings, she said,
+"We shall do very well together. What a pretty silk pelisse, and
+silver buckles, too."
+
+After father went out, and my bonnet was disposed of, Mrs. Tabor gave
+me a huge piece of delicious sponge-cake, which softened me somewhat.
+
+"What is your name, dear?"
+
+"Morgeson."
+
+"It is easy to see that."
+
+"Well, Cassandra."
+
+"Oh, what a lovely name," and she drew from her workbasket a
+paper-covered book; "there is no name in this novel half so pretty; I
+wish the heroine's name had been Cassandra instead of Aldebrante."
+
+"Let me see it," I begged.
+
+"There is a horrid monk in it"; but she gave it to me, and was
+presently called out. I devoured its pages, and for the only time in
+that year of Barmouth life, I forgot my own wants and woes. She saw
+my interest in the book when she came back, and coaxed it from me,
+offering me more cake, which I accepted. She told me that she had
+known father for years, and that he kept his horse at the inn stables,
+and dined with her. "But I never knew that he had a daughter," she
+continued. "Are you the only child?"
+
+"I have a sister," and after a moment remembered that I had a brother,
+too; but did not think it a fact necessary to mention.
+
+"I have no children."
+
+"But you have novels to read."
+
+She laughed, and by the time father returned we were quite chatty.
+After dinner I asked him to go to some shops with me. He took me to a
+jeweler's, and without consulting me bought an immense mosaic brooch,
+with a ruined castle on it, and a pretty ring with a gold stone.
+
+"Is there anything more?" he asked, "you would like?"
+
+"Yes, I want a pink calico dress."
+
+"Why?"
+
+"Because the girls at Miss Black's wear pink calico."
+
+"Why not get a pink silk?"
+
+"I must have a pink French calico, with a three-cornered white cloud
+on it; it is the fashion."
+
+"The fashion!" he echoed with contempt. But the dress was bought, and
+we went back to Barmouth.
+
+When I appeared in school with my new brooch and ring the girls
+crowded round me.
+
+"What does that pin represent, whose estate?" inquired one, with envy
+in her voice.
+
+"Don't the ring make the blood rush into your hand?" asked another;
+"it looks so."
+
+"Does it?" I answered; "I'll hold up my hand in the air, as you do, to
+make it white."
+
+"What is your father's business?" asked Elmira Sawyer, "is he a
+tailor?"
+
+Her insolence made my head swim; but I did not reply. When recess was
+over a few minutes afterward, I cried under the lid of my desk. These
+girls overpowered me, for I could not conciliate them, and had no idea
+of revenge, believing that their ridicule was deserved. But I thought
+I should like to prove myself respectable. How could I? Grand'ther
+_was_ a tailor, and I could not demean myself by assuring them that my
+father was a gentleman.
+
+In the course of a month Aunt Mercy had my pink calico made up by
+the best dressmaker in Barmouth. When I put it on I thought I looked
+better than I ever had before, and went into school triumphantly
+with it. The girls surveyed me in silence; but criticised me. At last
+Charlotte Alden asked me in a whisper if old Mr. Warren made my dress.
+She wrote on a piece of paper, in large letters--"Girls, don't let's
+wear our pink calicoes again," and pushing it over to Elmira Sawyer,
+made signs that the paper should be passed to all the girls. They read
+it, and turning to Charlotte Alden nodded. I watched the paper as
+it made its round, and saw Mary Bennett drop it on the floor with a
+giggle.
+
+It was a rainy day, and we passed the recess indoors. I remained
+quiet, looking over my lesson. "The first period ends with the
+carboniferous system; the second includes the saliferous and magnesian
+systems; the third comprises the oolitic and chalk systems; the
+fourth--" "How attentive some people are to their lessons," I heard
+Charlotte Alden say. Looking up, I saw her near me with Elmira Sawyer.
+
+"What is that you say?" I asked sharply.
+
+"I am not speaking to you."
+
+"I am angry," I said in a low tone, and rising, "and have borne
+enough."
+
+"Who are _you_ that you should be angry? We have heard about your
+mother, when she was in love, poor thing."
+
+I struck her so violent a blow in the face that she staggered
+backward. "You are a liar," I said, "and you must let me alone."
+Elmira Sawyer turned white, and moved away. I threw my book at her; it
+hit her head, and her comb was broken by my geological systems. There
+was a stir; Miss Black hurried from her desk, saying, "Young ladies,
+what does this mean? Miss C. Morgeson, your temper equals your
+vulgarity, I find. Take your seat in my desk."
+
+I obeyed her, and as we passed Mary Bennett's desk, where I saw the
+paper fall, I picked it up. "See the good manners of your favorite,
+Miss Black; read it." She bit her lips as she glanced over it, turned
+back as if to speak to Charlotte Alden, looked at me again, and went
+on: "Sit down, Miss C. Morgeson, and reflect on the blow you have
+given. Will you ask pardon?"
+
+"I will not; you know that."
+
+"I have never resorted to severe punishment yet; but I fear I shall be
+obliged to in your case."
+
+"Let me go from here." I clenched my hands, and tried to get up. She
+held me down on the seat, and we looked close in each other's eyes.
+"You are a bad girl." "And you are a bad woman," I replied; "mean and
+cruel." She made a motion to strike me, but her hand dropped; I felt
+my nostrils quiver strangely. "For shame," she said, in a tremulous
+voice, and turned away. I sat on the bench at the back of the desk,
+heartily tired, till school was dismissed; as Charlotte Alden passed
+out, courtesying, Miss Black said she hoped she would extend a
+Christian forgiveness to Miss C. Morgeson, for her unladylike
+behavior. "Miss C. Morgeson is a peculiar case."
+
+She gave her a meaning look, which was not lost upon me. Charlotte
+answered, "Certainly," and bowed to me gracefully, whereat I felt a
+fresh sense of my demerits, and concluded that I was worsted in the
+fray.
+
+Miss Black asked no explanation of the affair; it was dropped, and
+none of the girls alluded to it by hint or look afterward. When I told
+Aunt Mercy of it, she turned pale, and said she knew what Charlotte
+Alden meant, and that perhaps mother would tell me in good time.
+
+"We had a good many troubles in our young days, Cassy."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+
+The atmosphere of my two lives was so different, that when I passed
+into one, the other ceased to affect me. I forgot all that I suffered
+and hated at Miss Black's, as soon as I crossed the threshold, and
+entered grand'ther's house. The difference kept up a healthy mean;
+either alone would perhaps have been more than I could then have
+sustained. All that year my life was narrowed to that house, my
+school, and the church. Father offered to take me to ride, when
+he came to Barmouth, or carry me to Milford; but the motion of the
+carriage, and the conveying power of the horse, created such a fearful
+and realizing sense of escape, that I gave up riding with him. Aunt
+Mercy seldom left home; my schoolmates did not invite me to visit
+them; the seashore was too distant for me to ramble there; the
+storehouses and wharves by the river-side offered no agreeable
+saunterings; and the street, in Aunt Mercy's estimation, was not the
+place for an idle promenade. My exercise, therefore, was confined
+to the garden--a pleasant spot, now that midsummer had come, and
+inhabited with winged and crawling creatures, with whom I claimed
+companionship, especially with the red, furry caterpillars, that have,
+alas, nearly passed away, and given place to a variegated, fantastic
+tribe, which gentleman farmers are fond of writing about.
+
+Mother rode over to Barmouth occasionally, but seemed more glad when
+she went away than when she came. Veronica came with her once, but
+said she would come no more while I was there. She too would wait till
+the end of the year, for I spoiled the place. She said this so calmly
+that I never thought of being offended by it. I told her the episode
+of the pink calico. "It is a lovely color," she said, when I showed it
+to her. "If you like, I will take it home and burn it."
+
+As I developed the dramatic part of my story--the blow given Charlotte
+Alden, Verry rubbed her face shrinkingly, as if she had felt the blow.
+"Let me see your hand," she asked; "did I ever strike anybody?"
+
+"You threw a pail of salt downstairs, once, upon my head, and put out
+my sight."
+
+"I wish, when you are home, you would pound Mr. Park; he talks too
+much about the Resurrection. And," she added mysteriously, "he likes
+mother."
+
+"Likes mother!" I said aghast.
+
+"He watches her so when she holds Arthur! Why do you stare at me? Why
+do I talk to you? I am going. Now mind, I shall never leave home to go
+to any school; I shall know enough without."
+
+While Veronica was holding this placable talk with me, I discovered in
+her the high-bred air, the absence of which I deplored in myself.
+
+How cool and unimpressionable she looked! She did not attract me then.
+My mind wandered to what I had heard Mary Bennett say, in recess one
+day, that her brother had seen me in church, and came home with the
+opinion that I was the handsomest girl in Miss Black's school.
+
+"Is it possible!" replied the girl to whom she had made the remark. "I
+never should think of calling her pretty."
+
+"Stop, Veronica," I called; "am I pretty?" She turned back. "Everybody
+in Surrey says so; and everybody says I am not." And she banged the
+door against me.
+
+She did not come to Barmouth again. She was ill in the winter, and,
+father told me, queerer than ever, and more trouble. The summer
+passed, and I had no particular torment, except Miss Black's reference
+to composition. I could not do justice to the themes she gave us, not
+having the books from which she took them at command, and betrayed
+an ignorance which excited her utmost contempt, on "The Scenery of
+Singapore," "The Habits of the Hottentots," and "The Relative Merits
+of Homer and Virgil."
+
+In October Sally and Ruth Aiken came for the fall sewing. They had
+farmed it all summer, they said, and were tanned so deep a hue that
+their faces bore no small resemblance to ham. Ruth brought me some
+apples in an ochre-colored bag, and Sally eyed me with her old
+severity. As they took their accustomed seats at the table, I thought
+they had swallowed the interval of time which had gone by since they
+left, so precisely the same was the moment of their leaving and that
+of their coming back. I knew grand'ther no better than when I saw him
+first. He was sociable to those who visited the house, but never with
+those abiding in his family. Me he never noticed, except when I ate
+less than usual; then he peered into my face, and said, "What ails
+you?" We had the benefit of his taciturn presence continually, for he
+rarely went out; and although he did not interfere with Aunt Mercy's
+work, he supervised it, weighed and measured every article that was
+used, and kept the cellar and garden in perfect order.
+
+It was approaching the season of killing the pig, and he conferred
+often with Aunt Mercy on the subject. The weather was watched, and the
+pig poked daily, in the hope that the fat was thickening on his ribs.
+When the day of his destiny arrived, there was almost confusion in the
+house, and for a week after, of evenings, grand'ther went about with a
+lantern, and was not himself till a new occupant was obtained for the
+vacant pen, and all his idiosyncracies revealed and understood.
+
+"Grand'ther," I asked, "will the beautiful pigeons that live in the
+pig's roof like the horrid new pig?"
+
+"Yes," he answered, briskly rubbing his hands, "but they eat the pig's
+corn; and I can't afford that; I shall have to shoot them, I guess."
+
+"Oh, don't, grand'ther."
+
+"I will this very day. Where's the gun, Mercy?"
+
+In an hour the pigeons were shot, except two which had flown away.
+
+"Why did you ask him not to shoot the pigeons?" said Aunt Mercy. "If
+you had said nothing, he would not have done, it."
+
+"He is a disagreeable relation," I answered, "and I am glad he is a
+tailor."
+
+Aunt Mercy reproved me; but the loss of the pigeons vexed her. Perhaps
+grand'ther thought so, for that night he asked after her geraniums,
+and told her that a gardener had promised him some fine slips for
+her. She looked pleased, but did not thank him. There was already a
+beautiful stand of flowers in the middle room, which was odorous the
+year round with their perfume.
+
+The weather was now cold, and we congregated about the fire; for there
+was no other comfortable room in the house. One afternoon, when I
+was digging in Aunt Mercy's geranium pots, and picking off the dead
+leaves, two deacons came to visit grand'ther, and, hovering over the
+fire with him, complained of the lukewarmness of the church brethren
+in regard to the spiritual condition of the Society. A shower of grace
+was needed; there were reviving symptoms in some of the neighboring
+churches, but none in Barmouth. Something must be done--a fast day
+appointed, or especial prayer-meetings held. This was on Saturday;
+the next day the ceremony of the Lord's Supper would take place, and
+grand'ther recommended that the minister should be asked to suggest
+something to the church which might remove it from its hardness.
+
+"Are the vessels scoured, Mercy?" he asked, after the deacons had
+gone.
+
+"I have no sand."
+
+He presently brought her a biggin of fine white sand, which brought
+the shore of Surrey to my mind's eye. I followed her as she carried
+it to the well-room, where I saw, on the meal-chest, two large pewter
+plates, two flagons of the same metal, and a dozen or more cups, some
+of silver, and marked with the owner's name. They were soon cleaned.
+Then she made a fire in the oven, and mixed loaves in a peculiar
+shape, and launched them into the oven. She watched the bread
+carefully, and took it out before it had time to brown.
+
+"This work belongs to the deacons' wives," she said; "but it has
+been done in this house for years. The bread is not like ours--it is
+unleavened."
+
+Grand'ther carried it into the church after she had cut it with a
+sharp knife so that at the touch it would fall apart into square bits.
+When the remains were brought back, I went to the closet, where they
+were deposited, and took a piece of the bread, eating it reflectively,
+to test its solemnizing powers. I felt none, and when Aunt Mercy
+boiled the remnants with milk for a pudding, the sacred ideality of
+the ceremony I had seen at church was destroyed for me.
+
+Was it a pity that my life was not conducted on Nature's plan, who
+shows us the beautiful, while she conceals the interior? We do not see
+the roots of her roses, and she hides from us her skeletons.
+
+November passed, with its Thanksgiving--the sole day of all the year
+which grand'ther celebrated, by buying a goose for dinner, which goose
+was stewed with rye dumplings, that slid over my plate like glass
+balls. Sally and Ruth betook themselves to their farm, and hybernated.
+December came, and with it a young woman named Caroline, to learn the
+tailor's trade. Lively and pretty, she changed our atmosphere.
+She broke the silence of the morning by singing the "Star-spangled
+Banner," or the "Braes of Balquhither," and disturbed the monotony of
+the evenings by making molasses candy, which grand'ther ate, and which
+seemed to have a mollifying influence. Grand'ther kept his eye on
+Caroline; but his eye had no disturbing effect. She had no perception
+of his character; was fearless with him, and went contrary to all his
+ideas, and he liked her for it. She even reproved him for keeping such
+a long face. Her sewing, which was very bad, tried his patience so,
+that if it had not been for her mother, who was a poor widow, he would
+have given up the task of teaching her the trade. She said she knew
+she couldn't learn it; what was the use of trying? She meant to go
+West, and thought she might make a good home-missionary, as she did,
+for she married a poor young man, who had forsaken the trade of a
+cooper, to study for the ministry, and was helped off to Ohio by
+the Society of Home Missions. She came to see me in Surrey ten years
+afterward, a gaunt, hollow-eyed woman, of forbidding manners, and an
+implacable faith in no rewards or punishments this side of the grave.
+
+I suffered so from the cold that December that I informed mother of
+the fact by letter. She wrote back:
+
+"My child, have courage. One of these days you will feel a tender
+pity, when you think of your mother's girlhood. You are learning how
+she lived at your age. I trembled at the prosperity of your opening
+life, and believed it best for you to have a period of contrast. I
+thought you would, by and by, understand me better than I do myself;
+for you are not like me, Cassy, you are like your father. You shall
+never go back to Barmouth, unless you wish it. Dear Cassy, do you pray
+any? I send you some new petticoats, and a shawl. Does Mercy warm the
+bed for you? Your affectionate Mother."
+
+I dressed and undressed in Aunt Mercy's room, which was under the
+roof, with benumbed fingers. My hair was like the coat of a cow in
+frosty weather; it was so frowzy, and so divided against itself, that
+when I tried to comb it, it streamed out like the tail of a comet.
+Aunt Mercy discovered that I was afflicted with chilblains, and had
+a good cry over them, telling me, at the same moment, that my French
+slippers were the cause. We had but one fire in the house, except the
+fire in the shop, which was allowed to go down at sunset. Sometimes
+I found a remaining warmth in the goose, which had been left in
+the ashes, and borrowed it for my stiffened fingers. I did not get
+thoroughly warm all day, for the fire in the middle room, made of
+green wood, was continually in the process of being stifled with a
+greener stick, as the others kindled. The school-room was warm; but I
+had a back seat by a window, where my feet were iced by a current, and
+my head exposed to a draught. In January I had so bad an ague that
+I was confined at home a week. But I grew fast in spite of all my
+discomforts. Aunt Mercy took the tucks out of my skirts, and I burst
+out where there were no tucks. I assumed a womanly shape. Stiff as
+my hands were, and purple as were my arms, I could see that they were
+plump and well shaped. I had lost the meagerness of childhood and
+began to feel a new and delightful affluence. What an appetite I had,
+too!
+
+"The creature will eat us out of house and home," said grand'ther one
+day, looking at me, for him good-humoredly.
+
+"Well, don't shoot me, as you shot the pigeons."
+
+"Pah, have pigeons a soul?"
+
+In February the weather softened, and a great revival broke out. It
+was the dullest time of the year in Barmouth. The ships were at
+sea still, and the farmers had only to fodder their cattle, so that
+everybody could attend the protracted meeting. It was the same as
+Sunday at our house for nine days. Miss Black, in consequence of the
+awakening, dismissed the school for two weeks, that the pupils might
+profit in what she told us was The Scheme of Salvation.
+
+Caroline was among the first converts. I observed her from the moment
+I was told she was under Conviction, till she experienced Religion.
+She sang no more of mornings, and the making of molasses candy was
+suspended in the evenings. I thought her less pleasing, and felt shy
+of holding ordinary conversations with her, for had she not been set
+apart for a mysterious work? I perceived that when she sewed between
+meetings her work was worse done than ever; but grand'ther made no
+mention of it. I went with Aunt Mercy to meetings three times a day,
+and employed myself in scanning the countenances around me, curious to
+discover the first symptoms of Conviction.
+
+One night when grand'ther came in to prayers, he told Aunt Mercy that
+Pardon Hitch was awfully distressed in mind, in view of his sins. She
+replied that he was always a good man.
+
+"As good as any unregenerate man can be."
+
+"I might as well be a thorough reprobate then," I thought, "like Sal
+Thompson, who seems remarkably happy, as to try to behave as well as
+Pardon Hitch, who is a model in Barmouth."
+
+When we went to church the next morning, I saw him in one of the back
+pews, leaning against the rail, as if he had no strength. His face was
+full of anguish. He sat there motionless all day. He was prayed for,
+but did not seem to hear the prayers. At night his wife led him home.
+By the end of the third day, he interrupted an exhorting brother by
+rising, and uttering an inarticulate cry. We all looked. The tears
+were streaming down his pale face, which was lighted up by a smile
+of joy. He seemed like a man escaped from some great danger, torn,
+bruised, breathless, but alive. The minister left the pulpit to shake
+hands with him; the brethren crowded round to congratulate him, and
+the meeting broke up at once.
+
+Neither grand'ther nor Aunt Mercy had spoken to me concerning
+my interest in Religion; but on that very evening Mr. Boold, the
+minister, came in to tea and asked me, while he was taking off his
+overcoat, if I knew that Christ had died for me? I answered that I was
+not sure of it.
+
+"Do you read your Bible, child?"
+
+"Every day."
+
+"And what does it teach you?"
+
+"I do not know."
+
+"Miss Mercy, I will thank you for another cup. 'Now is the day, and
+now is the hour; come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, I
+will give you rest.'"
+
+"But I do not want rest; I have no burden," I said.
+
+"Cassandra," thundered grand'ther, "have you no respect for God nor
+man?"
+
+"Have you read," went on the minister, "the memoir of Nathan
+Dickerman? A mere child, he realized his burden of sin in time, and
+died sanctified."
+
+I thought it best to say no more. Aunt Mercy looked disturbed, and
+left the table as soon as she could with decency.
+
+"Cassandra," she said, when we were alone, "what will become of you?"
+
+"What will, indeed? You have always said that I was possessed. Why did
+you not explain this fact to Mr. Boold?"
+
+She kissed me,--her usual treatment when she was perplexed.
+
+The revival culminated and declined. Sixty new members were admitted
+into the church, and things settled into the old state. School was
+resumed; I found that not one of my schoolmates had met with a change,
+but Miss Black did not touch on the topic. My year was nearly out;
+March had come and gone, and it was now April. One mild day, in
+the latter part of the month, the girls went to the yard at recess.
+Charlotte Alden said pleasantly that the weather was fair enough for
+out-of-doors play, and asked if I would try the tilt. I gave a cordial
+assent. We balanced the board so that each could seat herself, and
+began to tilt slowly. As she was heavy, I was obliged to exert my
+strength to keep my place, and move her. She asked if I dared to go
+higher. "Oh yes, if you wish it." Happening to look round, I caught
+her winking at the girls near us, and felt that she was brewing
+mischief, but I had no time to dwell on it. She bore the end she was
+on to the ground with a sudden jerk, and I fell from the other, some
+eight feet, struck a stone, and fainted.
+
+The next thing that I recollect was Aunt Mercy's carrying me across
+the street in her arms. She had seen my fall from the window. Reaching
+the house, she let me slide on the floor in a heap, and began to wring
+her hands and stamp her feet.
+
+"I am not hurt, Aunt Mercy."
+
+"You are nearly killed, you know you are. This is your last day at
+that miserable school. I am going for the doctor, as soon as you say
+you wont faint again."
+
+Thus my education at Miss Black's was finished with a blow.
+
+When Aunt Mercy represented to Miss Black that I was not to return to
+school, and that she feared I had not made the improvement that was
+expected, Miss Black asked, with hauteur, what had been expected--what
+my friends _could_ expect. Aunt Mercy was intimidated, and retired as
+soon as she had paid her the last quarter's bills.
+
+A week after my tournament with Charlotte Alden I went back to Surrey.
+There was little preparation to make--few friends to bid farewell.
+Ruth and Sally had emerged from their farm, and were sewing again at
+grand'ther's. Sally bade me remember that riches took to themselves
+wings and flew away; she _hoped_ they had not been a snare to my
+mother; but she wasn't what she was, it was a fact.
+
+"No, she isn't," Ruth affirmed. "Do you remember, Sally, when she came
+out to the farm once, and rode the white colt bare-back round the big
+meadow, with her hair flying?"
+
+"Hold your tongue, Ruth."
+
+Ruth looked penitent as she gave me a paper of hollyhock seeds, and
+said the flowers were a beautiful blood-red, and that I must plant
+them near the sink drain. Caroline had already gone home, so Aunt
+Mercy had nothing cheery but her plants and her snuff; for she had
+lately contracted the habit of snuff-taking but very privately.
+
+"Train her well, Locke; she is skittish," said grand'ther as we got
+into the chaise to go home.
+
+"Grand'ther, if I am ever rich enough to own a peaked-roof pig-sty,
+will you come and see me?"
+
+"Away with you." And he went nimbly back to the house, chafing his
+little hands.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+
+I was going home! When we rode over the brow of the hill within a
+mile of Surrey, and I saw the crescent-shaped village, and the tall
+chimneys of our house on its outer edge, instead of my heart leaping
+for joy, as I had expected, a sudden indifference filled it. I felt
+averse to the change from the narrow ways of Barmouth, which, for the
+moment, I regretted. When I entered the house, and saw mother in her
+old place, her surroundings unaltered, I suffered a disappointment.
+I had not had the power of transferring the atmosphere of my year's
+misery to Surrey.
+
+The family gathered round me. I heard the wonted sound of the banging
+of doors. "The doors at grand'ther's," I mused, "had list nailed
+round their edges; but then he _had_ the list, being a tailor."
+
+"I vum," said Temperance, with her hand on her hip, and not offering to
+approach me, "your hair is as thick as a mop."
+
+Hepsey, rubbing her fingers against her thumb, remarked that she
+hoped learning had not taken away my appetite. "I have made an Indian
+bannock for you, and we are going to have broiled sword-fish, besides,
+for supper. Is it best to cook more, Mrs. Morgeson, now that Cassandra
+has come?"
+
+The boy, by name Charles, came to see the new arrival, but smitten
+with diffidence crept under the table, and examined me from his
+retreat.
+
+"Don't you wish to see Arthur?" inquired mother; "he is getting his
+double teeth."
+
+"Oh yes, and where's Veronica?"
+
+"She's up garret writing geography, and told me nothing in the world
+must disturb her, till she had finished an account of the city of
+Palmiry," said Temperance.
+
+"Call her when supper is ready," replied mother, who asked me to come
+into the bedroom where Arthur was sleeping. He was a handsome child,
+large and fair, and as I lifted his white, lax fingers, a torrent of
+love swept through me, and I kissed him.
+
+"I am afraid I make an idol of him, Cassy."
+
+"Are you unhappy because you love him so well, mother, and feel that
+you must make expiation?"
+
+"Cassandra," she spoke with haste, "did you experience any shadow of a
+change during the revival at Barmouth?"
+
+"No more than the baby here did."
+
+"I shall have faith, though, that it will be well with you, because
+you have had the blessing of so good a man as your grand'ther."
+
+"But I never heard a word of grand'ther's prayers. Do you remember his
+voice?"
+
+A smile crept into her blue eye, as she said: "My hearing him, or not,
+would make no difference, since God could hear and answer."
+
+"Grand'ther does not like me; I never pleased him."
+
+She looked astonished, then reflective. It occurred to her that she,
+also, had been no favorite of his. She changed the subject. We talked
+on what had happened in Surrey, and commenced a discussion on my
+wardrobe, when we were summoned to tea. Temperance brought Arthur to
+the table half asleep, but he roused when she drummed on his plate
+with a spoon. Hepsey was stationed by the bannock, knife in hand, to
+serve it. As we began our meal, Veronica came in from the kitchen,
+with a plate of toasted crackers. She set the plate down, and gravely
+shook hands with me, saying she had concluded to live entirely on
+toast, but supposed I would eat all sorts of food, as usual. She had
+grown tall; her face was still long and narrow, but prettier, and
+her large, dark eyes had a slight cast, which gave her face an
+indescribable expression. Distant, indifferent, and speculative as the
+eyes were, a ray of fire shot into them occasionally, which made her
+gaze powerful and concentrated. I was within a month of sixteen, and
+Veronica was in her thirteenth year; but she looked as old as I did.
+She carefully prepared her toast with milk and butter, and ate it in
+silence. The plenty around me, the ease and independence, gave me a
+delightful sense of comfort. The dishes were odd, some of china, some
+of delf, and were continually moved out of their places, for we helped
+ourselves, although Temperance stayed in the room, ostensibly as a
+waiter. She was too much engaged in conversation to fulfill her duties
+that way. I looked round the room; nothing had been added to it,
+except red damask curtains, which were out of keeping with the
+old chintz covers. It was a delightful room, however; the blue sea
+glimmered between the curtains, and, turning my eyes toward it, my
+heart gave the leap which I had looked for. I grew blithe as I saw it
+winking under the rays of the afternoon sun, and, clapping my hands,
+said I was glad to get home. We left Veronica at the table, and mother
+resumed her conversation with me in a corner of the room. Presently
+Temperance came in with Charles, bringing fresh plates. As soon
+as they began their supper, Veronica asked Temperance how the fish
+tasted.
+
+"Is it salt?"
+
+"Middling."
+
+"How is the bannock?"
+
+"Excellent. I will say it for Hepsey that she hasn't her beat as a
+cook; been at it long enough," she added, in expiation of her praise.
+
+"Temperance, is that pound cake, or sponge?"
+
+"Pound."
+
+"Charles can eat it," Verry said with a sigh.
+
+"A mighty small piece he'll have--the glutton. But he has not been
+here long; they are all so when they first come."
+
+She then gave him a large slice of the cake.
+
+Veronica, contrary to her wont, huddled herself on the sofa. Arthur
+played round the chair of mother, who looked happy and forgetful.
+After Temperance had rearranged the table for father's supper we were
+quiet. I meditated how I could best amuse myself, where I should go,
+and what I should do, when Veronica, whom I had forgotten, interrupted
+my thoughts.
+
+"Mother," she said, "eating toast does not make me better-tempered;
+I feel evil still. You know," turning to me, "that my temper is worse
+than ever; it is like a tiger's."
+
+"Oh, Verry," said mother, "not quite so bad; you are too hard upon
+yourself."
+
+"Mother, you said so to Hepsey, when I tore her turban from her head,
+it was _so_ ugly. Can you forget you said such a thing?"
+
+"Verry, you drive me wild. Must I say that I was wrong? Say so to my
+own child?"
+
+Verry turned her face to the wall and said no more; but she had
+started a less pleasant train of thought. It was changed again by
+Temperance coming with lights. Though the tall brass lamps glittered
+like gold, their circle of light was small; the corners of the room
+were obscure. Mr. Park, entering, retreated into one, and mother was
+obliged to forego the pleasure of undressing Arthur; so she sent him
+off with Temperance and Charles, whose duty it was to rock the cradle
+as long as his babyship required.
+
+Soon after father came, and Hepsey brought in his hot supper; while he
+was eating it, Grandfather John Morgeson bustled in. As he shook hands
+with me, I saw that his hair had whitened; he held a tasseled cane
+between his knees, and thumped the floor whenever he asked a question.
+Mr. Park buzzed about the last Sunday's discourse, and mother listened
+with a vague, respectful attention. Her hand was pressed against her
+breast, as if she were repressing an inward voice which claimed her
+attention. Leaning her head against her chair, she had quite pushed
+out her comb, her hair dropped on her shoulder, and looked like a
+brown, coiled serpent. Veronica, who had been silently observing her,
+rose from the sofa, picked up the comb, and fastened her hair, without
+speaking. As she passed she gave me a dark look.
+
+"Eh, Verry," said father, "are you there? Were you glad to see Cassy
+home again?"
+
+"Should I be glad? What can _she_ do?"
+
+Grandfather pursed up his mouth, and turned toward mother, as if he
+would like to say: "You understand bringing up children, don't you?"
+
+She comprehended him, and, giving her head a slight toss, told Verry
+to go and play on the piano.
+
+"I was going," she answered pettishly, and darting out a moment after
+we heard her.
+
+Grandfather went, and presently Mr. Park got up in a lingering way,
+said that Verry must learn to play for the Lord, and bade us "Good
+night." But he came back again, to ask me if I would join Dr. Snell's
+Bible Class. It would meet the next evening; the boys and girls of my
+own age went. I promised him to go, wondering whether I should meet an
+ancient beau, Joe Bacon. Mother retired; Verry still played.
+
+"Her talent is wonderful," said father, taking the cigar from his
+mouth. "By the way, you must take lessons in Milford; I wish you would
+learn to sing." I acquiesced, but I had no wish to learn to play. I
+could never perform mechanically what I heard now from Verry. When she
+ceased, I woke from a dream, chaotic, but not tumultuous, beautiful,
+but inharmonious. Though the fire had gone out, the lamps winked
+brightly, and father, moving his cigar to the other side of his mouth,
+changed his regards from one lamp to the other, and said he thought
+I was growing to be an attractive girl. He asked me if I would take
+pains to make myself an accomplished one also? I must, of course, be
+left to myself in many things; but he hoped that I would confide in
+him, if I did not ask his advice. A very strong relation of reserve
+generally existed between parent and child, instead of a confidential
+one, and the child was apt to discover that reserve on the part of the
+parent was not superiority, but cowardice, or indifference. "Let it
+not be so with us," was his conclusion. He threw away the stump of
+his cigar, and went to fasten the hall-door. I took one of the brass
+lamps, proposing to go to bed. As I passed through the upper entry,
+Veronica opened her door. She was undressed, and had a little book
+in her hand, which she shook at me, saying, "There is the day of the
+month put down on which you came home; and now mind," then shut the
+door. I pondered over what father had said; he had perceived something
+in me which I was not aware of. I resolved to think seriously over it;
+in the morning I found I had not thought of it at all.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+
+The next evening I dressed my hair after the fashion of the Barmouth
+girls, with the small pride of wishing to make myself look different
+from the Surrey girls. I expected they would stare at me in the Bible
+Class. It would be my debut as a grown girl, and I must offer myself
+to their criticism. I went late, so that I might be observed by the
+assembled class. It met in the upper story of Temperance Hall--a new
+edifice. As I climbed the steep stairs, Joe Bacon's head came in view;
+he had stationed himself on a bench at the landing to watch for my
+arrival, of which he had been apprized by our satellite, Charles. Joe
+was the first boy who had ever offered his arm as my escort home from
+a party. After that event I had felt that there was something between
+us which the world did not understand. I was flattered, therefore,
+at the first glimpse of him on this occasion. When Dr. Snell made his
+opening prayer, Joe thrust a Bible before me, open at the lesson of
+the evening, and then, rubbing his nose with embarrassment, fixed his
+eyes with timid assurance on the opposite wall. Several of my Morgeson
+cousins were present, greeting me with sniffs. But I was disappointed
+in Joe Bacon; how young and shabby he looked! He wore a monkey jacket,
+probably a remnant of his sea-going father's wardrobe. He had done
+his best, however, for his hair was greased, and combed to a marble
+smoothness; its sleekness vexed me, not remembering at that moment the
+pains I had taken to dress my own hair, for a more ignoble end.
+
+The girls gathered round me, after the class was dismissed; and when
+Dr. Snell came down from his desk, he said he was glad to see me,
+and that I must come to his rooms to look over the new books he had
+received. Dr. Snell was no exception to the rule that a minister must
+not be a native among his own people. His long residence in Surrey had
+failed to make him appear like one. A bachelor, with a small
+private fortune, his style of living differed from the average
+of Congregational parsons. His library was the only lion in our
+neighborhood. His taste as a collector made him known abroad, and he
+had a reputation which was not dreamed of by his parishioners,
+who thought him queer and simple. He loved old fashions; wore
+knee-breeches, and silver buckles in his shoes; brewed metheglin in
+his closet, and drank it from silver-pegged flagons; and kept diet
+bread on a salver to offer his visitors. He lived near us on the north
+road, and was very much afraid of his landlady, Mrs. Grossman, who
+sat in terrible state in her parlor, the year through, wearing a black
+satin cloak and an awful structure of a cap, which had a potent nod.
+
+I was pleased with Dr. Snell's notice; his smile was courtly and his
+bow Grandisonian.
+
+Joe Bacon was waiting at the foot of the stairs. He obtruded his arm,
+and hoarsely muttered, "See you home." I took it, and we marched along
+silently, till we were beyond the sound of voices. He began, rather
+inarticulately, to say how glad he was to see me, and that he hoped
+he was going to have better times now; but I could make no response
+to his wishes; the suspicion that he had a serious liking for me was
+disgusting. As he talked on I grew irritable, and replied shortly.
+When we reached our house, I slipped my hand from his arm, and ran
+up the steps, turning back with my hand on the door-knob to say,
+"Good-night." The lamp in the hall shone through the fanlight upon
+his face; it looked intelligent with pain. I skipped down the steps.
+"Please open the door, Joe." He brightened, but before he could comply
+with my request Temperance flung it wide, for the purpose of making a
+survey of the clouds and guessing at to-morrow's weather. His retreat
+was precipitate.
+
+"Oh ho," said Temperance, "a feller came home with you. We shall have
+somebody sitting up a-Thursday nights, I reckon, before long."
+
+"Nonsense with your Thursday nights."
+
+"Everybody is just alike. We shall have rain, see if we don't; rain or
+no rain, I'll whitewash to-morrow."
+
+Poor Joe! That night ended my first sentiment. He died with the
+measles in less than a month.
+
+"I wish," said Temperance, who was spelling over a newspaper, "that
+Dr. Snell would come in before the plum-cake is gone, that Hepsey made
+last. The old dear loves it; he is always hungry. I candidly believe
+Mis Grossman keeps him short."
+
+I expected that Temperance would break out then about Joe; but she
+never mentioned him, except to tell me that she had heard of his
+death. She did not whitewash the next day, for Charles came down with
+the measles, and was tended by her with a fretful tenderness. Veronica
+was seized soon after, and then Arthur, and then I had them. Veronica
+was the worst patient. When her room was darkened she got out of bed,
+tore down the quilt that was fastened to the window, and broke three
+panes of glass before she could be captured and taken back. The quilt
+was not put up again, however. She cried with anger, unless her hands
+were continually washed with lavender water, and made little pellets
+of cotton which she stuffed in her ears and nose, so that she might
+not hear or smell.
+
+I went to Dr. Snell's as soon as I was able. He was in his bedchamber,
+writing a sermon on fine note-paper, and had disarranged the wide
+ruffles of his shirt so that he looked like a mildly angry turkey.
+Thrusting his spectacles up into the roots of his hair, he rose,
+and led me into a large room adjoining his bedroom, which contained
+nothing but tall bookcases, threw open the doors of one, pushed up a
+little ladder before it, for me to mount to a row of volumes bound in
+calf, whose backs were labeled "British Classics." "There," he said,
+"you will find 'The Spectator,'" and trotted back to his sermon, with
+his pen in his mouth. I examined the books, and selected Tom Jones and
+Goldsmith's Plays to take home. From that time I grazed at pleasure in
+his oddly assorted library, ranging from "The Gentleman's Magazine"
+to a file of the "Boston Recorder"; but never a volume of poetry
+anywhere. I became a devourer of books which I could not digest, and
+their influence located in my mind curious and inconsistent relations
+between facts and ideas.
+
+My music lessons in Milford were my only task. I remained inapt, while
+Veronica played better and better; when I saw her fingers interpreting
+her feelings, touching the keys of the piano as if they were the
+chords of her thoughts, practice by note seemed a soulless, mechanical
+effort, which I would not make. One day mother and I were reading the
+separate volumes of charming Miss Austen's "Mansfield Park," when a
+message arrived from Aunt Mercy, with the news of Grand'ther Warren's
+dangerous illness. Mother dropped her book on the floor, but I turned
+down the leaf where I was reading. She went to Barmouth immediately,
+and the next day grand'ther died. He gave all he had to Aunt Mercy,
+except six silver spoons, which he directed the Barmouth silversmith
+to make for Caroline, who was now married to her missionary. Mother
+came home to prepare for the funeral. When the bonnets, veils, and
+black gloves came home, Veronica declared she would not go. As she had
+been allowed to stay away from Grand'ther Warren living, why should
+she be forced to go to him when dead? She was so violent in her
+opposition that mother ordered Temperance to keep her in her room.
+Father tried to persuade her, but she grew white, and trembled so that
+he told her she should stay at home. While we were gone she sent her
+bonnet to the Widow Smith's daughter, who appeared in the Poor Seats
+wearing it, on the very Sunday after the funeral, when we all went
+to church in our mourning to make the discovery, which discomposed us
+exceedingly.
+
+All the church were present at grand'ther's funeral,--obsequies, as
+Mr. Boold called it, who exalted his character and behavior so greatly
+in his discourse that his nearest friends would not have recognized
+him, although everybody knew that he was a good man. Mr. Boold
+expatiated on his tenderness and delicate appreciation, and his
+study of the feelings and wants of others, till he was moved to tears
+himself by the picture he drew. I thought of the pigeons he had shot,
+and of the summary treatment he gave me--of his coldness and silence
+toward Aunt Mercy, and my eyes remained dry; but mother and Aunt Mercy
+wept bitterly. After it was over, and they had gone back to the empty
+house, they removed their heavy bonnets, kissed each other, said they
+knew that he was in heaven, and held a comforting conversation about
+the future; but my mind was chained to the edge of the yawning grave
+into which I had seen his coffin lowered.
+
+"Shut up the old shell, Mercy," said father. "Come, and live with us."
+
+She was rejoiced at the prospect, for the life at our house was
+congenial, and she readily and gratefully consented. She came in a few
+days, with a multitude of boxes, and her plants. Mother established
+her in the room next the stairs--good place for her, Veronica said,
+for she could be easily locked out of our premises. The plants were
+placed on a new revolving stand, which stood on the landing-place
+beneath the stair window. Veronica was so delighted with them that she
+made amicable overtures to Aunt Mercy, and never quarreled with her
+afterward, except when she was ill. She entreated her to leave off her
+bombazine dresses; the touch of them interfered with her feelings for
+her, she said; in fact, their contact made her crawl all over.
+
+Aunt Mercy took upon herself many of mother's irksome cares; such
+as remembering where the patches and old linen were--the hammer and
+nails; watching the sweetmeat pots; keeping the run of the napkins and
+blankets; packing the winter clothing, and having an eye on mice and
+ants, moth and mold. Occasionally she read a novel; but was faithful
+to all the week-day meetings, making the acquaintance thereby of
+mother's tea-drinking friends, who considered her an accomplished
+person, because she worked lace so beautifully, and had _such_ a
+faculty for raising plants! Mother left the house in her charge, and
+made several journeys with father this year. This period was perhaps
+her happiest. The only annoyance, visible to me, that I can remember,
+was one between her and father on the subject of charity. He was for
+giving to all needy persons, while she only desired to bestow it on
+the deserving, but they had renounced the wish of manufacturing
+each other's habits and opinions. Whether mother ever desired the
+expression of that exaltation of feeling which only lasts in a man
+while he is in love, I cannot say. It was not for me to know her
+heart. It is not ordained that these beautiful secrets of feeling
+should be revealed, where they might prove to be the sweetest
+knowledge we could have.
+
+Though the days flew by, days filled with the busy nothings of
+prosperity, they bore no meaning. I shifted the hours, as one shifts
+the kaleidoscope, with an eye only to their movement. Neither the
+remembrance of yesterday nor the hope of to-morrow stimulated me. The
+mere fact of breathing had ceased to be a happiness, since the day I
+entered Miss Black's school. But I was not yet thoughtful. As for my
+position, I was loved and I was hated, and it pleased me as much to be
+hated as to be loved. My acquaintances were kind enough to let me know
+that I was generally thought proud, exacting, ill-natured, and apt
+to expect the best of everything. But one thing I know of myself
+then--that I concealed nothing; the desires and emotions which are
+usually kept as a private fund I displayed and exhausted. My audacity
+shocked those who possessed this fund. My candor was called anything
+but truthfulness; they named it sarcasm, cunning, coarseness, or tact,
+as those were constituted who came in contact with me. Insight into
+character, frankness, generosity, disinterestedness, were sometimes
+given me. Veronica alone was uncompromising; she put aside by instinct
+what baffled or attracted others, and, setting my real value upon me,
+acted accordingly. I do not accuse her of injustice, but of a fierce
+harshness which kept us apart for long years. As for her, she was
+the most reticent girl I ever knew, and but for her explosive temper,
+which betrayed her, she would have been a mystery. The difference in
+our physical constitutions would have separated us, if there had been
+no other cause. The weeks that she was confined to her room, preyed
+upon by some inscrutable disease, were weeks of darkness and solitude.
+Temperance and Aunt Merce took as much care of her as she would allow;
+but she preferred being alone most of the time. Thus she acquired
+the fortitude of an Indian; pain could extort no groan from her.
+It reacted on her temper, though, for after an attack she was
+exasperating. Her invention was put to the rack to tease and offend.
+I kept out of her way; if by chance she caught sight of me, she forced
+me to hear the bitter truth of myself. Sometimes she examined me to
+learn if I had improved by the means which father so _generously_
+provided for me. "Is he not yet tired of his task?" she asked once.
+And, "Do you carry everything before you, with your wide eyebrows and
+sharp teeth? Temperance, where's the Buffon Dr. Snell sent me? I want
+to classify Cass."
+
+"I'll warrant you'll find her a sheep," Temperance replied.
+
+"Sheep are innocent," said Veronica. "You may go," nodding to me, over
+the book, and Temperance also made energetic signs to me to go, and
+not bother the poor girl.
+
+Always regarding her from the point of view she presented, I felt
+little love for her; her peculiarities offended me as they did mother.
+We did not perceive the process, but Verry was educated by sickness;
+her mind fed and grew on pain, and at last mastered it. The darkness
+in her nature broke; by slow degrees she gained health, though never
+much strength. Upon each recovery a change was visible; a spiritual
+dawn had risen in her soul; moral activity blending with her ideality
+made her life beautiful, even in the humblest sense. Veronica! you
+were endowed with genius; but while its rays penetrated you, we did
+not see them. How could we profit by what you saw and heard, when we
+were blind and deaf? To us, the voices of the deep sang no epic of
+grief; the speech of the woods was not articulate; the sea-gull's
+flashing flight, and the dark swallow's circling sweep, were facts
+only. Sunrise and sunset were not a paean to day and night, but five
+o'clock A.M. or P.M. The seasons that came and went were changes
+from hot to cold; to you, they were the moods of nature, which found
+response in those of your own life and soul; her storms and calms were
+pulses which bore a similitude to the emotions of your heart!
+
+Veronica's habits of isolation clung to her; she would never leave
+home. The teaching she had was obtained in Surrey. But her knowledge
+was greater than mine. When I went to Rosville she was reading
+"Paradise Lost," and writing her opinions upon it in a large blank
+book. She was also devising a plan for raising trees and flowers
+in the garret, so that she might realize a picture of a tropical
+wilderness. Her tastes were so contradictory that time never hung
+heavy with her; though she had as little practical talent as any
+person I ever knew, she was a help to both sick and well. She
+remembered people's ill turns, and what was done for them; and for the
+well she remembered dates and suggested agreeable occupations--gave
+them happy ideas. Besides being a calendar of domestic traditions, she
+was weather-wise, and prognosticated gales, meteors, high tides, and
+rains.
+
+Home, father said, was her sphere. All that she required, he thought
+he could do; but of me he was doubtful. Where did I belong? he asked.
+
+I was still "possessed," Aunt Merce said, and mother called me
+"lawless." "What upon earth are you coming to?" asked Temperance. "You
+are sowing your wild oats with a vengeance."
+
+"Locke Morgeson's daughter can do anything," commented the villagers.
+In consequence of the unlimited power accorded me I was unpopular.
+"Do you think she is handsome?" inquired my friends of each other. "In
+what respect _can_ she be called a beauty?" "Though she reads, she
+has no great wit," said one. "She dresses oddly for effect," another
+avowed, "and her manners are ridiculous." But they borrowed my dresses
+for patterns, imitated my bonnets, and adopted my colors. When I
+learned to manage a sailboat, they had an aquatic mania. When I
+learned to ride a horse, the ancient and moth-eaten sidesaddles of the
+town were resuscitated, and old family nags were made back-sore
+with the wearing of them, and their youthful spirits revived by new
+beginners sliding about on their rounded sides. My whims were sneered
+at, and then followed. Of course I was driven from whim to whim, to
+keep them busy, and to preserve my originality, and at last I became
+eccentric for eccentricity's sake. All this prepared the way for my
+Nemesis. But as yet my wild oats were green and flourishing in the
+field of youth.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+
+I was preaching one day to mother and Aunt Merce a sermon after the
+manner of Mr. Boold, of Barmouth, taking the sofa for a desk, and
+for my text "Like David's Harp of solemn sound," and had attracted
+Temperance and Charles into the room by my declamation, when my
+audience was unexpectedly increased by the entrance of father, with a
+strange gentleman. Aunt Merce laughed hysterically; I waved my hand to
+her, _à la_ Boold, and descended from my position.
+
+"Take a chair," said Temperance, who was never abashed, thumping one
+down before the stranger.
+
+"What is all this?" inquired father.
+
+"Only a _Ranz des Vaches_, father, to please Aunt Merce."
+
+The stranger's eyes were fastened upon me, while father introduced us
+to "Mr. Charles Morgeson, of Rosville."
+
+"Please receive me as a relative," he said, turning to shake hands
+with mother. "We have an ancestor in common that makes a sufficient
+cousinship for a claim, Mrs. Morgeson."
+
+"Why not have looked us up before?" I asked.
+
+"Why," said Veronica, who had just come in, "there are six Charles
+Morgesons buried in our graveyard."
+
+"I supposed," he said, "that the name was extinct. I lately saw your
+father's in a State Committee List, and feeling curious regarding it,
+I came here."
+
+He bowed distantly to Veronica when she entered, but she did not
+return his bow, though she looked at him fixedly. Temperance and
+Hepsey hurried up a fine supper immediately. A visitor was a creature
+to be fed. Feeding together removes embarrassment, and before supper
+was over we were all acquainted with Mr. Morgeson. There were three
+cheerful old ladies spending the week with us--the widow Desire
+Carver, and her two maiden sisters, Polly and Serepta Chandler.
+They filled the part of chorus in the domestic drama, saying, "Aha,"
+whenever there was a pause. Veronica affected these old ladies
+greatly, and when they were in the house gave them her society. But
+for their being there at this time, I doubt whether she would have
+seen Mr. Morgeson again. That evening she played for them. Her wild,
+pathetic melodies made our visitor's gray eyes flash with pleasure,
+and light up his cold face with gleams of feeling; but she was not
+gratified by his interest. "I think it strange that you should like my
+music," she said crossly.
+
+"Do you" he answered, amused at her tone, "perhaps it is; but why
+should I not as well as your friends here?" indicating the old ladies.
+
+"Ah, we like it very much," said the three, clicking their
+snuff-boxes.
+
+"You, too, play?" he asked me.
+
+"Miss Cassy don't play," answered the three, looking at me over their
+spectacles. "Miss Verry's sun puts out her fire."
+
+"Cassandra does other things better than playing," Veronica said to
+Mr. Morgeson.
+
+"Why, Veronica," I said, surprised, going toward her.
+
+"Go off, go off," she replied, in an undertone, and struck up a loud
+march. He had heard her, and while she played looked at her earnestly.
+Then, seeming to forget the presence of the three, he turned and put
+out his hand to me, with an authority I did not resist. I laid my hand
+in his; it was not grasped, but upheld. Veronica immediately stopped
+playing.
+
+He stayed several days at our house. After the first evening we found
+him taciturn. He played with Arthur, spoke of his children to him,
+and promised him a pony if he would go to Rosville. With father he
+discussed business matters, and went out with him to the shipyards and
+offices. I scarcely remember that he spoke to me, except in a casual
+way, more than once. He asked me if I knew whether the sea had any
+influence upon me; I replied that I had not thought of it. "There are
+so many things you have not thought of," he answered, "that this is
+not strange."
+
+Veronica observed him closely; he was aware of it, but was not
+embarrassed; he met her dark gaze with one keener than her own, and
+neither talked with the other. The morning he went away, while the
+chaise was waiting, which was to go to Milford to meet the stagecoach,
+and he was inviting us to visit him, a thought seemed to strike
+him. "By the way, Morgeson, why not give Miss Cassandra a finish at
+Rosville? I have told you of our Academy, and of the advantages
+which Rosville affords in the way of society. What do you say, Mrs.
+Morgeson, will you let her come to my house for a year?"
+
+"Locke decides for Cassy," she answered; "I never do now," looking at
+me reproachfully.
+
+Cousin Charles's hawk eyes caught the look, and he heard me too, when
+I tapped her shoulder till she turned round and smiled. I whispered,
+"Mother, your eyes are as blue as the sea yonder, and I love you." She
+glanced toward it; it was murmuring softly, creeping along the shore,
+licking the rocks and sand as if recognizing a master. And I saw and
+felt its steady, resistless heaving, insidious and terrible.
+
+"Well," said father, "we will talk of it on the way to Milford."
+
+"I have a kinder of a-creeping about your Cousin Charles, as you call
+him," said Temperance, after she had closed the porch door. "He is too
+much shut up for me. How's Mis Cousin Charles, I wonder?"
+
+"He is fond of flowers," remarked Aunt Merce; "he examined all my
+plants, and knew all their botanical names."
+
+"That's a balm for every wound with you, isn't it?" Temperance said.
+"I spose I can clean the parlor, unless Mis Carver and Chandler are
+sitting in a row there?"
+
+Veronica, who had hovered between the parlor and the hall while Cousin
+Charles was taking his leave, so that she might avoid the necessity
+of any direct notice of him, had heard his proposition about Rosville,
+said, "Cassandra will go there."
+
+"Do you feel it in your bones, Verry?" Temperance asked.
+
+"Cassandra does."
+
+"Do I? I believe I do."
+
+"You are eighteen; you are too old to go to school."
+
+"But I am not too old to have an agreeable time; besides, I am not
+eighteen, and shall not be till four days from now."
+
+"You think too much of having a good time, Cassandra," said mother. "I
+foresee the day when the pitcher will come back from the well broken.
+You are idle and frivolous; eternally chasing after amusement."
+
+"God knows I don't find it."
+
+"I know you are not happy."
+
+"Tell me," I cried, striking the table with my hand, making Veronica
+wink, "tell me how to feel and act."
+
+"I have no influence with you, nor with Veronica."
+
+"Because," said Verry, "we are all so different; but I like you,
+mother, and all that you do."
+
+"Different!" she exclaimed, "children talk to parents about a
+difference between them."
+
+"I never thought about it before." I said, "but _where_ is the family
+likeness?"
+
+Aunt Merce laughed.
+
+"There's the Morgesons," I continued, "I hate 'em all."
+
+"All?" she echoed; "you are like this new one."
+
+"And Grand'ther Warren"--I continued.
+
+"Your talk," interrupted Aunt Merce, jumping up and walking about, "is
+enough to make him rise out of his grave."
+
+"I believe," said Veronica, "that Grand'ther Warren nearly crushed
+you and mother, when girls of our age. Did you know that you had any
+wants then? or dare to dream anything beside that he laid down for
+you?"
+
+Aunt Merce and mother exchanged glances.
+
+"Say, mother, what shall I do?" I asked again.
+
+"Do," she answered in a mechanical voice; "read the Bible, and sew
+more."
+
+"Veronica's life is not misspent," she continued, and seeming to
+forget that Verry was still there. "Why should she find work for her
+hands when neither you nor I do?"
+
+Veronica slipped out of the room; and I sat on the floor beside
+mother. I loved her in an unsatisfactory way. What could we be to
+each other? We kissed tenderly; I saw she was saddened by something
+regarding me, which she could not explain, because she refused to
+explain me naturally. I thought she wished me to believe she could
+have no infirmity in common with me--no temptations, no errors--that
+she must repress all the doubts and longings of her heart for
+example's sake.
+
+There was a weight upon me all that day, a dreary sense of
+imperfection.
+
+When father came home he asked me if I would like to go to Rosville.
+I answered, "Yes." Mother must travel with me, for he could not leave
+home. The sooner I went the better. He also thought Veronica should
+go. She was called and consulted, and, provided Temperance would
+accompany us to take care of her, she consented. It was all arranged
+that evening. Temperance said we must wait a week at least, for her
+corns to be cured, and the plum-colored silk made, which had been shut
+up in a band-box for three years.
+
+We started on our journey one bright morning in June, to go to Boston
+in a stagecoach, a hundred miles from Surrey, and thence to Rosville,
+forty miles further, by railroad. We stopped a night on the way
+to Boston at a country inn, which stood before an egg-shaped
+pond. Temperance remade our beds, declaiming the while against the
+unwholesome situation of the house; the idea of anybody's living in
+the vicinity of fresh water astonished her; to impose upon travelers'
+health that way was too much. She went to the kitchen to learn whether
+the landlady cooked, or hired a cook. She sat up all night with our
+luggage in sight, to keep off what she called "prowlers"--she did
+not like to say robbers, for fear of exciting our imaginations--and
+frightened us by falling out of her chair toward morning. Veronica
+insisted upon her going to bed, but she refused, till Veronica
+threatened to sit up herself, when she carried her own carpet-bag to
+bed with her.
+
+We arrived in Boston the next day and went to the Bromfield House in
+Bromfield Street, whither father had directed us. We were ushered to
+the parlor by a waiter, who seemed struck by Temperance, and who was
+treated by her with respect. "Mr. Shepherd, the landlord, himself, I
+guess," she whispered.
+
+Three cadaverous children were there eating bread and butter from a
+black tray on the center-table.
+
+"Good Lord!" exclaimed Temperance, "what bread those children are
+eating! It is made of sawdust."
+
+"It's good, you old cat," screamed the little girl.
+
+Veronica sat down by her, and offered her some sugar-plums, which the
+child snatched from her hand.
+
+"We are missionaries," said the oldest boy, "and we are going to
+Bombay next week in the _Cabot_. I'll make the natives gee, I tell
+ye."
+
+"Mercy on us!" exclaimed Temperance, "did you ever?"
+
+Presently a sickly, gentle-looking man entered, in a suit of black
+camlet, and carrying an umbrella; he took a seat by the children, and
+ran his fingers through his hair, which already stood upright.
+
+"That girl gave Sis some sugar-plums," remarked the boy.
+
+"I hope you thanked her, Clarissa," said the father.
+
+"No; she didn't give me enough," the child answered.
+
+"They have no mother," the poor man said apologetically to Veronica,
+looking up at her, and, as he caught her eye, blushing deeply. She
+bowed, and moved away. Mother rang the bell, and when the waiter came
+gave him a note for Mr. Shepherd, which father had written, bespeaking
+his attention. Mr. Shepherd soon appeared, and conveyed us to two
+pleasant rooms with an unmitigated view of the wall of the next house
+from the windows.
+
+"This," remarked Temperance, "is worse than the pond."
+
+Mr. Shepherd complimented mother on her fine daughters; hoped Mr.
+Morgeson would run for Congress soon told her she should have the best
+the house afforded, and retired.
+
+I wanted to shop, and mother gave me money. I found Washington Street,
+and bought six wide, embroidered belts, a gilt buckle, a variety of
+ribbons, and a dozen yards of lace. I repented the whole before I got
+back; for I saw other articles I wanted more. I found mother alone;
+Temperance had gone out with Veronica, she said, and she had given
+Veronica the same amount of money, curious to know how she would
+spend it, as she had never been shopping. It was nearly dark when they
+returned.
+
+"I like Boston," said Verry.
+
+"But what have you bought?"
+
+She displayed a beautiful gold chain, and a little cross for the
+throat; a bundle of picture-books for the missionary children; a
+sewing-silk shawl for Hepsey, and some toys for Arthur.
+
+"To-morrow, _I_ shall go shopping," said mother. "What did you buy,
+Temperance?"
+
+"A mean shawl. In my opinion, Boston is a den of thieves."
+
+She untied a box, from which she took a sky-blue silk shawl, with
+brown flowers woven in it.
+
+"I gave eighteen dollars for it, if I gave a cent, Mis Morgeson; I
+know I am cheated. It's sleazy, isn't it?"
+
+The bell for tea rang, and Mr. Shepherd came up to escort us to the
+table. Temperance delayed us, to tie on a silk apron, to protect
+the plum-colored silk, for, as she observed to Mr. Shepherd, she was
+afraid it would show grease badly. I could not help exchanging smiles
+with Mr. Shepherd, which made Veronica frown. The whole table stared
+as we seated ourselves, for we derived an importance from the fact
+that we were under the personal charge of the landlord.
+
+"How they gawk at you," whispered Temperance. I felt my color rise.
+
+"The gentlemen do not guess that we are sisters," said Veronica
+quietly.
+
+"How do I look?" I asked.
+
+"You know how, and that I do not agree with your opinion. You look
+cruel."
+
+"I am cruel hungry."
+
+Her eyes sparkled with disdain.
+
+"What do you mean to do for a year?" I continued.
+
+"Forget you, for one thing."
+
+"I hope you wont be ill again, Verry."
+
+"I shall be," she answered with a shudder; "I need all the illnesses
+that come."
+
+"As for me," I said, biting my bread and butter, "I feel well to my
+fingers' ends; they tingle with strength. I am elated with health."
+
+I had not spoken the last word before I became conscious of a streak
+of pain which cut me like a knife and vanished; my surprise at it was
+so evident that she asked me what ailed me."
+
+"Nothing."
+
+"I never had the feeling you speak of in my finger ends," she said
+sadly, looking at her slender hand.
+
+"Poor girl!"
+
+"What has come over you, Cass? An attack of compassion? Are you
+meaning to leave an amiable impression with me?"
+
+After supper Mr. Shepherd asked mother if she would go to the theater.
+The celebrated tragedian, Forrest, was playing; would the young ladies
+like to see Hamlet? We all went, and my attention was divided between
+Hamlet and two young men who lounged in the box door till Mr. Shepherd
+looked them away. Veronica laughed at Hamlet, and Temperance said it
+was stuff and nonsense. Veronica laughed at Ophelia, also, who was a
+superb, black-haired woman, toying with an elegant Spanish fan, which
+Hamlet in his energy broke. "It is not Shakespeare," she said.
+
+"Has she read Shakespeare?" I asked mother.
+
+"I am sure I do not know."
+
+That night, after mother and Veronica were asleep, I persuaded
+Temperance to get up, and bore my ears with a coarse needle, which I
+had bought for the purpose. It hurt me so, when she pierced one, that
+I could not summon resolution to have the other operated on; so I went
+to bed with a bit of sewing silk in the hole she had made. But in the
+morning I roused her, to tell her I thought I could bear to have the
+other ear bored. When mother appeared I showed her my ears red and
+sore, insisting that I must have a certain pair of white cornelian
+ear-rings, set in chased gold, and three inches long, which I had seen
+in a shop window. She scolded Temperance, and then gave me the money.
+
+The next day mother and I started for Rosville. Veronica decided to
+remain in Boston with Temperance till mother returned. She said
+that if she went she might find Mrs. Morgeson as disagreeable as Mr.
+Morgeson was; that she liked the Bromfield; besides, she wanted to see
+the missionary children off for Bombay, and intended to go down to
+the ship on the day they were to sail. She was also going to ask Mr.
+Shepherd to look up a celebrated author for her. She must see one if
+possible.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+
+It was sunset when we arrived in Rosville, and found Mr. Morgeson
+waiting for us with his carriage at the station. From its open sides
+I looked out on a tranquil, agreeable landscape; there was nothing
+saline in the atmosphere. The western breeze, which blew in our faces,
+had an earthy scent, with fluctuating streams of odors from trees and
+flowers. As we passed through the town, Cousin Charles pointed to the
+Academy, which stood at the head of a green. Pretty houses stood round
+it, and streets branched from it in all directions. Flower gardens,
+shrubbery, and trees were scattered everywhere. Rosville was larger
+and handsomer than Surrey.
+
+"That is my house, on the right," he said.
+
+We looked down the shady street through which we were going, and saw a
+modern cottage, with a piazza, and peaked roof, and on the side toward
+us a large yard, and stables.
+
+We drove into the yard, and a woman came out on the piazza to receive
+us. It was Mrs. Morgeson, or "My wife, Cousin Alice," as Mr. Morgeson
+introduced her. Giving us a cordial welcome, she led us into a parlor
+where tea was waiting. A servant came in for our bonnets and baskets.
+Cousin Alice begged us to take tea at once. We were hardly seated when
+we heard the cry of a young child; she left the table hastily, to come
+back in a moment with an apology, which she made to Cousin Charles
+rather than to us. I had never seen a table so well arranged, so
+fastidiously neat; it glittered with glass and French china. Cousin
+Charles sent away a glass and a plate, frowning at the girl who
+waited; there must have been a speck or a flaw in them. The viands
+were as pretty as the dishes, the lamb chops were fragile; the bread
+was delicious, but cut in transparent slices, and the butter pat was
+nearly stamped through with its bouquet of flowers. This was all the
+feast except sponge cake, which felt like muslin in the fingers; I
+could have squeezed the whole of it into my mouth. Still hungry, I
+observed that Cousin Charles and Alice had finished; and though she
+shook her spoon in the cup, feigning to continue, and he snipped
+crumbs in his plate, I felt constrained to end my repast. He rose
+then, and pushing back folding-doors, we entered a large room, leaving
+Alice at the table. Windows extending to the floor opening on the
+piazza, but notwithstanding the stream of light over the carpet, I
+thought it somber, and out of keeping with the cottage exterior. The
+walls were covered with dark red velvet paper, the furniture was
+dark, the mantel and table tops were black marble, and the vases
+and candelabra were bronze. He directed mother's attention to the
+portraits of his children, explaining them, while I went to a table
+between the windows to examine the green and white sprays of
+some delicate flower I had never before seen. Its fragrance was
+intoxicating. I lifted the heavy vase which contained it; it was taken
+from me gently by Charles, and replaced.
+
+"It will hardly bear touching," he said. "By to-morrow these little
+white bells will be dead."
+
+I looked up at him. "What a contrast!" I said.
+
+"Where?"
+
+"Here, in this room, and in you."
+
+"And between you and me?"
+
+His face was serene, dark, and delicate, but to look at it made me
+shiver. Mother came toward us, pleading fatigue as an excuse for
+retiring, and Cousin Charles called Cousin Alice, who went with us to
+our room. In the morning, she said, we should see her three children.
+She never left them, she was so afraid of their being ill, also
+telling mother that she would do all in her power to make my stay in
+Rosville pleasant and profitable. As a mother, she could appreciate
+her anxiety and sadness in leaving me. Mother thanked her warmly, and
+was sure that I should be happy; but I had an inward misgiving that I
+should not have enough to eat.
+
+"I hear Edward," said Alice. "Good-night."
+
+Presently a girl, the same who had taken our bonnets, came in with
+a pitcher of warm water and a plate of soda biscuit. She directed us
+where to find the apparel she had nicely smoothed and folded; took off
+the handsome counterpane, and the pillows trimmed with lace, putting
+others of a plainer make in their places; shook down the window
+curtains; asked us if we would have anything more, and quietly
+disappeared. I offered mother the warm water, and appropriated the
+biscuits. There were six. I ate every one, undressing meanwhile, and
+surveying the apartment.
+
+"Cassy, Mrs. Morgeson is an excellent housekeeper."
+
+"Yes," I said huskily, for the dry biscuit choked me.
+
+"What would Temperance and Hepsey say to this?"
+
+"I think they would grumble, and admire. Look at this," showing her
+the tassels of the inner window curtains done up in little bags. "And
+the glass is pinned up with nice yellow paper; and here is a damask
+napkin fastened to the wall behind the washstand. And everything
+stands on a mat. I wonder if this is to be my room?"
+
+"It is probably the chamber for visitors. Why, these are beautiful
+pillow-cases, too," she exclaimed, as she put her head on the pillow.
+"Come to bed; don't read."
+
+I had taken up a red morocco-bound book, which was lying alone on the
+bureau. It was Byron, and turning over the leaves till I came to
+Don Juan, I read it through, and began Childe Harold, but the candle
+expired. I struck out my hands through the palpable darkness, to find
+the bed without disturbing mother, whose soul was calmly threading
+the labyrinth of sleep. I finished Childe Harold early in the morning,
+though, and went down to breakfast, longing to be a wreck!
+
+The three children were in the breakfast-room, which was not the one
+we had taken tea in, but a small apartment, with a door opening
+into the garden. They were beautifully dressed, and their mother was
+tending and watching them. The oldest was eight years, the youngest
+three months. Cousin Alice gave us descriptions of their tastes and
+habits, dwelling with emphasis on those of the baby. I drew from her
+conversation the opinion that she had a tendency to the rearing of
+children. I was glad when Cousin Charles came in, looking at his
+watch. "Send off the babies, Alice, and ring the bell for breakfast."
+
+She sent out the two youngest, put little Edward in his chair, and
+breakfast began.
+
+"Mrs. Morgeson," said Charles, "the horses will be ready to take you
+round Rosville. We will call on Dr. Price, for you to see the kind
+of master Cassandra will have. I have already spoken to him about
+receiving a new pupil."
+
+"Oh, I am homesick at the idea of school and a master," I said.
+
+Mother tried in vain to look hard-hearted, and to persuade that it was
+good for me, but she lost her appetite, with the thought of losing me,
+which the mention of Dr. Price brought home. The breakfast was as well
+adapted to a delicate taste as the preceding supper. The ham was most
+savory, but cut in such thin slices that it curled; and the biscuits
+were as white and feathery as snowflakes. I think also that the boiled
+eggs were smaller than any I had seen. Cousin Alice gave unremitting
+attention to Edward, who ate as little as the rest.
+
+"Mother," I said afterward, "I am afraid I am an animal. Did you
+notice how little the Morgesons ate?"
+
+"I noticed how elegant their table appointments were, and I shall buy
+new china in Boston to-morrow. I wish Hepsey would not load our table
+as she does."
+
+"Hepsey is a good woman, mother; do give my love to her. Now that
+I think of it, she was always making up some nice dish; tell her I
+remember it, will you?"
+
+When Cousin Charles put us into the carriage, and hoisted little
+Edward on the front seat, mother noticed that two men held the horses,
+and that they were not the same he had driven the night before. She
+said she was afraid to go, they looked ungovernable; but he reassured
+her, and one of the men averring that Mr. Morgeson could drive
+anything, she repressed her fears, and we drove out of the yard
+behind a pair of horses that stood on their hind legs as often as that
+position was compatible with the necessity they were under of getting
+on, for they evidently understood that they were guided by a firm
+hand. Edward was delighted with their behavior, and for the first time
+I saw his father smile on him.
+
+"These are fine brutes," he said, not taking his eyes from them; "but
+they are not equal to my mare, Nell. Alice is afraid of her; but I
+hope that you, Cassandra, will ride with me sometimes when I drive
+her."
+
+"Oh!" exclaimed mother, grasping my arm.
+
+"You would, would you?" he said, taking out the whip, as the horses
+recoiled from a man who lay by the roadside, leaping so high that the
+harness seemed rattling from their backs. He struck them, and
+said, "Go on now, go on, devils." There was no further trouble. He
+encouraged mother not to be afraid, looking keenly at me. I looked
+back at him.
+
+"How much worse is the mare, cousin Charles?"
+
+"You shall see."
+
+After driving round the town we stopped at the Academy. Morning
+prayers were over, and the scholars, some sixty boys and girls, were
+coming downstairs from the hall, to go into the rooms, each side of a
+great door. Dr. Price was behind them. He stopped when he saw us,
+an introduction took place, and he inquired for Dr. Snell, as an old
+college friend. Locke Morgeson sounded familiarly, he said; a member
+of his mother's family named Somers had married a gentleman of that
+name. He remembered it from an old ivory miniature which his mother
+had shown him, telling him it was the likeness of her cousin Rachel's
+husband. I replied we knew that grandfather had married a Rachel
+Somers. Cousin Charles was surprised and a little vexed that the
+doctor had never told him, when he must have known that he had been
+anxiously looking up the Morgeson pedigree; but the doctor declared
+he had not thought of it before, and that only the name of Locke had
+recalled it to his mind. He then proposed our going to Miss Prior, the
+lady who had charge of the girls' department, and we followed him to
+her school-room.
+
+I was at once interested and impressed by the appearance of my teacher
+that was to be. She was a dignified, kind-looking woman, who asked me
+a few questions in such a pleasant, direct manner that I frankly told
+her I was eighteen years old, very ignorant, and averse from learning;
+but I did not speak loud enough for anybody beside herself to hear.
+
+"Now," said mother, when we came away, "think how much greater your
+advantages are than mine have ever been. How miserable was my youth!
+It is too late for me to make any attempt at cultivation. I have
+no wish that way. Yet now I feel sometimes as if I were leaving the
+confines of my old life to go I know not whither, to do I know not
+what."
+
+But her countenance fell when she heard that Dr. Price had been a
+Unitarian minister, and that there was no Congregational church in
+Rosville.
+
+She went to Boston that Friday afternoon, anxious to get safely home
+with Veronica. We parted with many a kiss and shake of the hand and
+last words. I cried when I went up to my room, for I found a present
+there--a beautiful workbox, and in it was a small Bible with my name
+and hers written on the fly-leaf in large print-like, but tremulous
+letters. I composed my feelings by putting it away carefully and
+unpacking my trunk.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV.
+
+
+Rosville was a county town. The courts were held there, and its
+society was adorned with several lawyers of note who had law students,
+which fact was to the lawyers' daughters the most agreeable feature
+of their fathers' profession. It had a weekly market day and an
+annual cattle show. I saw a turnout of whips and wagons about the
+hitching-posts round the green of a Tuesday the year through, and
+going to and from school met men with a bovine smell. Caucuses were
+prevalent, and occasionally a State Convention was held, when Rosville
+paid honor to some political hero of the day with banners and brass
+bands. It was a favorite spot for the rustication of naughty boys from
+Harvard or Yale. Dr. Price had one or two at present who boarded in
+his house so as to be immediately under his purblind eyes, and who
+took Greek and Latin at the Academy.
+
+Social feuds raged in the Academy coteries between the collegians
+and the natives on account of the superior success of the former in
+flirtation. The latter were not consoled by their experience that no
+flirtation lasted beyond the period of rustication. Dr. Price usually
+had several young men fitting for college also, which fact added more
+piquancy to the provincial society. In the summer riding parties were
+fashionable, and in the winter county balls and cotillion parties;
+a professor came down from Boston at this season to set up a dancing
+school, which was always well attended.
+
+The secular concerns of life engaged the greatest share of the
+interests of its inhabitants; and although there existed social and
+professional dissensions, there was little sectarian spirit among them
+and no religious zeal. The rich and fashionable were Unitarians.
+The society owned a tumble-down church; a mild preacher stood in its
+pulpit and prayed and preached, sideways and slouchy. This degree of
+religious vitality accorded with the habits of its generations. Surrey
+and Barmouth would have howled over the Total Depravity of Rosville.
+There was no probationary air about it. Human Nature was the
+infallible theme there. At first I missed the vibration of the moral
+sword which poised in our atmosphere. When I felt an emotion without
+seeing the shadow of its edge turning toward me, I discovered my
+conscience, which hitherto had only been described to me.
+
+There were churches in the town beside the Unitarian. The
+Universalists had a bran-new one, and there was still another
+frequented by the sedimentary part of the population--Methodists.
+
+I toned down perfectly within three months. Soon after my arrival at
+his house I became afraid of Cousin Charles. Not that he ever said
+anything to justify fear of him--he was more silent at home than
+elsewhere; but he was imperious, fastidious, and sarcastic with me by
+a look, a gesture, an inflection of his voice. My perception of any
+defect in myself was instantaneous with his discovery of it. I fell
+into the habit of guessing each day whether I was to offend or please
+him, and then into that of intending to please. An intangible, silent,
+magnetic feeling existed between us, changing and developing according
+to its own mysterious law, remaining intact in spite of the contests
+between us of resistance and defiance. But my feeling died or
+slumbered when I was beyond the limits of his personal influence. When
+in his presence I was so pervaded by it that whether I went contrary
+to the dictates of his will or not I moved as if under a pivot; when
+away my natural elasticity prevailed, and I held the same relation to
+others that I should have held if I had not known him. This continued
+till the secret was divined, and then his influence was better
+remembered.
+
+I discovered that there was little love between him and Alice. I never
+heard from either an expression denoting that each felt an interest
+in the other's individual life; neither was there any of that conjugal
+freemasonry which bores one so to witness. But Alice was not unhappy.
+Her ideas of love ended with marriage; what came afterward--children,
+housekeeping, and the claims of society--sufficed her needs. If she
+had any surplus of feeling it was expended upon her children, who had
+much from her already, for she was devoted and indulgent to them.
+In their management she allowed no interference, on this point only
+thwarting her husband. In one respect she and Charles harmonized; both
+were worldly, and in all the material of living there was sympathy.
+Their relation was no unhappiness to him; he thought, I dare say,
+if he thought at all, that it was a natural one. The men of his
+acquaintance called him a lucky man, for Alice was handsome,
+kind-hearted, intelligent, and popular.
+
+Whether Cousin Alice would have found it difficult to fulfill
+the promise she made mother regarding me, if I had been a plain,
+unnoticeable girl, I cannot say, or whether her anxiety that I should
+make an agreeable impression would have continued beyond a few days.
+She looked after my dress and my acquaintances. When she found that
+I was sought by the young people of her set and the Academy, she was
+gratified, and opened her house for them, giving little parties and
+large ones, which were pleasant to everybody except Cousin Charles,
+who detested company--"it made him lie so." But he was very well
+satisfied that people should like to visit and praise his house and
+its belongings, if Alice would take the trouble of it upon herself. I
+made calls with her Wednesday afternoons, and went to church with
+her Sunday mornings. At home I saw little of her. She was almost
+exclusively occupied with the children--their ailments or their
+pleasures--and staid in her own room, or the nursery.
+
+When in the house I never occupied one spot long, but wandered in the
+garden, which had a row of elms, or haunted the kitchen and stables,
+to watch black Phoebe, the cook, or the men as they cleaned the horses
+or carriages. My own room was in a wing of the cottage, with a window
+overlooking the entrance into the yard and the carriage drive; this
+was its sole view, except the wall of a house on the other side of a
+high fence. I heard Charles when he drove home at night, or away in
+the morning; knew when Nell was in a bad humor by the tone of his
+voice, which I heard whether my window was open or shut. It was
+a pretty room, with a set of maple furniture, and amber and white
+wallpaper, and amber and white chintz curtains and coverings. It
+suited the color of my hair, Alice declared, and was becoming to my
+complexion.
+
+"Yes," said Charles, looking at my hair with an expression that
+made me put my hand up to my head as if to hide it; I knew it was
+carelessly dressed.
+
+I made a study that day of the girls' heads at school, and from that
+time improved in my style of wearing it, and I brushed it with zeal
+every day afterward. Alice had my room kept so neatly for me that it
+soon came to be a reproach, and I was finally taught by her example
+how to adjust chairs, books, and mats in straight lines, to fold
+articles without making odd corners and wrinkles; at last I improved
+so much that I could find what I was seeking in a drawer, without
+harrowing it with my fingers, and began to see beauty in order. Alice
+had a talent for housekeeping, and her talent was fostered by the
+exacting, systematic taste of her husband. He examined many matters
+which are usually left to women, and he applied his business talent to
+the art of living, succeeding in it as he did in everything else.
+
+Alice told me that Charles had been poor; that his father was never on
+good terms with him. She fancied they were too much alike; so he had
+turned him off to shift for himself, when quite young. When she met
+him, he was the agent of a manufacturing company, in the town where
+her parents lived, and even then, in his style of living, he surpassed
+the young men of her acquaintance. The year before they were married
+his father died, and as Charles was his only child, he left his farm
+to him, and ten thousand dollars--all he had. The executors of the
+will were obliged to advertise for him, not having any clue to his
+place of residence. He sold the farm as soon as it was put in his
+hands, took the ten thousand dollars, and came back to be married.
+A year after, he went to Rosville, and built a cotton factory, three
+miles from town, and the cottage, and then brought her and Edward, who
+was a few months old, to live in it. He had since enlarged the works,
+employed more operatives, and was making a great deal of money.
+Morgeson's Mills, she believed, were known all over the country.
+Charles was his own agent, as well as sole owner. There were no mills
+beside his in the neighborhood; to that fact she ascribed the reason
+of his having no difficulties in Rosville, and no enmities; for she
+knew he had no wish to make friends. The Rosville people, having no
+business in common with him, had no right to meddle, and could find
+but small excuse for comment. They spent, she said, five or six
+thousand a year; most of it went in horses, she was convinced, and
+she believed his flowers cost him a great deal too. "You must know,
+Cassandra, that his heart is with his horses and his flowers. He is
+more interested in them than he is in his children."
+
+She looked vexed when she said this; but I took hold of the edge
+of her finely embroidered cape, and asked her how much it cost. She
+laughed, and said, "Fifty dollars; but you see how many lapels it has.
+I have still a handsomer one that was seventy-five."
+
+"Are they a part of the six thousand a year, Alice?"
+
+"Of course; but Charles wishes me to dress, and never stints me in
+money; and, after all, I like for him to spend his money in his own
+way. It vexes me sometimes, he buys such wild brutes, and endangers
+his life with them. He rides miles and miles every year; and it
+relieves the tedium of his journeys to have horses he must watch, I
+suppose."
+
+Nobody in Rosville lived at so fast a rate as the Morgesons. The
+oldest families there were not the richest--the Ryders, in particular.
+Judge Ryder had four unmarried daughters; they were the only girls
+in our set who never invited us to visit them. They could not help
+saying, with a fork of the neck, "Who are the Morgesons?" But all the
+others welcomed Cousin Alice, and were friendly with me. She was too
+pretty and kind-hearted not to be liked, if she was rich; and Cousin
+Charles was respected, because he made no acquaintance beyond bows,
+and "How-de-do's." It was rather a stirring thing to have such a
+citizen, especially when he met with an accident, and he broke many
+carriages in the course of time; and now and then there was a row at
+the mills, which made talk. His being considered a hard man did not
+detract from the interest he inspired.
+
+My advent in Rosville might be considered a fortunate one; appearances
+indicated it; I am sure I thought so, and was very well satisfied with
+my position. I conformed to the ways of the family with ease, even in
+the matter of small breakfasts and light suppers. I found that I was
+more elastic than before, and more susceptible to sudden impressions;
+I was conscious of the ebb and flow of blood through my heart, felt
+it when it eddied up into my face, and touched my brain with its
+flame-colored wave. I loved life again. The stuff of which each day
+was woven was covered with an arabesque which suited my fancy. I
+missed nothing that the present unrolled for me, but looked neither
+to the past nor to the future. In truth there was little that was
+elevated in me. Could I have perceived it if there had been? Whichever
+way the circumstances of my life vacillated, I was not yet reached to
+the quick; whether spiritual or material influences made sinuous the
+current of being, it still flowed toward an undiscovered ocean.
+
+Half the girls at the Academy, like myself, came from distant towns.
+Some had been there three years. They were all younger than myself.
+There never had been a boarding-house attached to the school, and it
+was not considered a derogatory thing for the best families to receive
+these girls as boarders. We were therefore on the same footing, in a
+social sense. I was also on good terms with Miss Prior. She was a cold
+and kindly woman, faithful as a teacher, gifted with an insight into
+the capacity of a pupil. She gave me a course of History first, and
+after that Physical Philosophy; but never recommended me to Moral
+Science. When I had been with her a few months, she proposed that I
+should study the common branches; my standing in the school was such
+that I went down into the primary classes without shame, and I must
+say that I was the dullest scholar in them. We also had a drawing
+master and a music-teacher. The latter was an amiable woman, with
+theatrical manners. She was a Mrs. Lane; but no Mr. Lane had ever been
+seen in Rosville. We girls supposed he had deserted her, which was
+the fact, as she told me afterward. She cried whenever she sang a
+sentimental song, but never gave up to her tears, singing on with
+blinded eyes and quavering voice. I laughed at her dresses which had
+been handsome, with much frayed trimming about them, the hooks and
+eyes loosened and the seams strained, but liked her, and although
+I did not take lessons, saw her every day when she came up to the
+Academy. She asked me once if I had any voice. I answered her by
+singing one of our Surrey hymns, "_Once on the raging seas he rode_."
+She grew pale, and said, "Don't for heaven's sake sing that! I can
+see my old mother, as she looked when she sang that hymn of a stormy
+night, when father was out to sea. Both are dead now, and where am I?"
+
+She turned round on the music stool, and banged out the accompaniment
+of "_O pilot, 'tis a fearful night_," and sang it with great energy.
+After her feelings were composed, she begged me to allow her to
+teach me to sing. "You can at least learn the simple chords of
+song accompaniments, and I think you have a voice that can be made
+effective."
+
+I promised to try, and as I had taken lessons before, in three months
+I could play and sing "_Should those fond hopes e'er forsake thee_,"
+tolerably well. But Mrs. Lane persisted in affirming that I had
+a dramatic talent, and as she supposed that I never should be an
+actress, I must bring it out in singing; so I persevered, and, thanks
+to her, improved so much that people said, when I was mentioned, "She
+sings."
+
+The Moral Sciences went to Dr. Price, and he had a class of girls
+in Latin; but my only opportunity of going before him was at morning
+prayers and Wednesday afternoons, when we assembled in the hall to
+hear orations in Latin, or translations, and "pieces" spoken by the
+boys; and at the quarterly reviews, when he marched us backward and
+forward through the books we had conned, like the sharp old gentleman
+he was, notwithstanding his purblind eyes.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI.
+
+
+I heard from home regularly; father, however, was my only
+correspondent. He stipulated that I should write him every other
+Saturday, if not more than a line; but I did more than that at first,
+writing up the events of the fortnight, interspersing my opinions of
+the actors engaged therein, and dwindling by degrees down to the mere
+acknowledgment of his letter. He read without comment, but now and
+then he asked me questions which puzzled me to answer.
+
+"Do you like Mr. Morgeson?" he asked once.
+
+"He is very attentive," I wrote back. "But so is Cousin Alice,--she is
+fond of me."
+
+"You do not like Morgeson?" again.
+
+"Are there no agreeable young men," he asked another time, "with Dr.
+Price?"
+
+"Only boys," I wrote--"cubs of my own age."
+
+Among the first letters I received was one with the news of the death
+of my grandfather, John Morgeson. He had left ten thousand dollars
+for Arthur, the sum to be withdrawn from the house of Locke Morgeson
+& Co., and invested elsewhere, for the interest to accumulate, and
+be added to the principal, till he should be of age. The rest of
+his property he gave to the Foreign Missionary Society. "Now," wrote
+father, "it will come your turn next, to stand in the gap, when your
+mother and I fall back from the forlorn hope--life." This merry and
+unaccustomed view of things did not suggest to my mind the change
+he intimated; I could not dwell on such an idea, so steadfast
+a home-principle were father and mother. It was different with
+grandfathers and grandmothers, of course; they died, since it was
+not particularly necessary for them to live after their children were
+married.
+
+It was early June when I went to Rosville; it was now October. There
+was nothing more for me to discover there. My relations at home and
+at school were established, and it was probable that the next year's
+plans were all settled.
+
+"It is the twentieth," said my friend, Helen Perkins, as we lingered
+in the Academy yard, after school hours. "The trees have thinned so
+we can see up and down the streets. Isn't that Mr. Morgeson who
+is tearing round the corner of Gold Street? Do you think he is
+strange-looking? I do. His hair, and eyes, and complexion are exactly
+the same hue; what color is it? A pale brown, or a greenish gray?"
+
+"Is he driving this way?"
+
+"Yes; the fore-legs of his horse have nearly arrived."
+
+I moved on in advance of Helen, toward the gate; he beckoned when he
+saw me, and presently reined Nell close to us. "You can decide now
+what color he is," I whispered to her.
+
+"Will you ride home?" he asked. "And shall I take you down to
+Bancroft's, Miss Helen?"
+
+She would have declined, but I took her arm, pushed her into the
+chaise, and then sprang in after her; she seized the hand-loop, in
+view of an upset.
+
+"You are afraid of my horse, Miss Helen," he said, without having
+looked at her.
+
+"I am afraid of your driving," she answered, leaning back and looking
+behind him at me. She shook her head and put her finger on her eyelid
+to make me understand that she did not like the color of his eyes.
+
+"Cassandra is afraid of neither," he said.
+
+"Why should I be?" I replied coldly.
+
+We were soon at the Bancrofts', where Helen lived, which was a mile
+from the Academy, and half a mile from our house. When we were going
+home, he asked:
+
+"Is she your intimate friend?"
+
+"The most in school."
+
+"Is there the usual nonsense about her?"
+
+"What do you mean by nonsense?"
+
+"When a girl talks about her lover or proposes one to her friend."
+
+"I think she is not gifted that way."
+
+"Then I like her."
+
+"Why should she not talk about lovers, though? The next time I see her
+I will bring up the subject."
+
+"You shall think and talk of your lessons, and nothing more, I charge
+you. Go on, Nell," he said, in a loud voice, turning into the yard
+and grazing one of the gate-posts, so that we struck together. I was
+vexed, thinking it was done purposely, and brushed my shoulder where
+he came in contact, as if dust had fallen on me, and jumped out
+without looking at him, and ran into the house.
+
+"Are you losing your skill in driving, Charles?" Alice asked, when we
+were at tea, "or is Nell too much for you? I saw you crash against the
+gate-post."
+
+"Did you? My hand was not steady, and we made a lurch."
+
+"Was there a fight at the mills last night? Jesse said so."
+
+"Jesse must mind his business."
+
+"He told Phoebe about it."
+
+"I knocked one of the clerks over and sprained my wrist."
+
+I met his eye then. "It was your right hand?" I asked.
+
+"It was my right hand," in a deferential tone, and with a slight bow
+in my direction.
+
+"Was it Parker?" she asked.
+
+"Yes, he is a puppy; but don't talk about it."
+
+Nothing more was said, even by Edward, who observed his father with
+childish gravity, I meditated on the injustice I had done him about
+the gate-post. After tea he busied himself in the garden among the
+flowers which were still remaining. I lingered in the parlor or walked
+the piazza with an undefined desire of speaking to him before I should
+go to my room. After he had finished his garden work he went to the
+stable; I heard the horses stepping about the floor as they were
+taken out for his inspection. The lamps were lighted before he came in
+again; Alice was upstairs as usual. When I heard him coming, I opened
+my book, and seated myself in a corner of a sofa; he walked to the
+window without noticing me, and drummed on the piano.
+
+"Does your wrist pain you, Charles?" still reading.
+
+"A trifle," adjusting his wristband.
+
+"Do you often knock men down in your employ?"
+
+"When they deserve it."
+
+"It is a generous and manly sort of pastime."
+
+"I am a generous man and very strong; do you know that, you little
+fool? Here, will you take this flower? There will be no more this
+year." I took it from his hand; it was a pink, faintly odorous
+blossom.
+
+"I love these fragile flowers best," he continued--"where I have to
+protect them from my own touch, even." He relapsed into forgetfulness
+for a moment, and then began to study his memorandum book.
+
+"A note from the mills, sir," said Jesse, "by one of the hands."
+
+"Tell him to wait."
+
+He read it, and threw it over to me. It was from Parker, who informed
+Mr. Morgeson that he was going by the morning's train to Boston,
+thinking it was time for him to leave his employ; that, though the
+fault was his own in the difficulty of the day before, a Yankee could
+not stand a knock-down. It was too damned aristocratic for an employer
+to have that privilege; our institutions did not permit it. He thanked
+Mr. Morgeson for his liberality; he couldn't thank him for being
+a good fellow. "And would he oblige him by sending per bearer the
+arrears of salary?"
+
+"Parker is in love with a factory girl. He quarreled with one of the
+hands because he was jealous of him, and would have been whipped by
+the man and his friends; to spare him that, I knocked him down. Do you
+feel better now, Cassy?"
+
+"Better? How does it concern me?"
+
+He laughed.
+
+"Put Black Jake in the wagon," he called to Jesse.
+
+Alice heard him and came downstairs; we went out on the _piazza_, to
+see him off. "Why do you go?" she asked, in an uneasy tone.
+
+"I must. Wont you go too?"
+
+She refused; but whispered to me, asking if I were afraid?
+
+"Of what?"
+
+"Men quarreling."
+
+"Cassandra, will you go?" he asked. "If not, I am off. Jump in behind,
+Sam, will you?"
+
+"Go," said Alice; and she ran in for a shawl, which she wrapped round
+me.
+
+"Alice," said Charles, "you are a silly woman."
+
+"As you have always said," she answered, laughing. "Ward the blows
+from him, Cassandra."
+
+"It's a pretty dark night for a ride," remarked Sam.
+
+"I have rode in darker ones."
+
+"I dessay," replied Sam.
+
+"Cover your hand with my handkerchief," I said; "the wind is cutting."
+
+"Do you wish it?"
+
+"No, I do not wish it; it was a humanitary idea merely."
+
+He refused to have it covered.
+
+The air had a moldy taint, and the wind blew the dead leaves around
+us. As we rode through the darkness I counted the glimmering lights
+which flashed across our way till we got out on the high-road where
+they grew scarce, and the wind whistled loud about our faces. He laid
+his hand on my shawl. "It is too light; you will take cold."
+
+"No."
+
+We reached the mills, and pulled up by the corner of a building, where
+a light shone through a window.
+
+"This is my office. You must go in--it is too chilly for you to wait
+in the wagon. Hold Jake, Sam, till I come back."
+
+I followed him. In the farthest corner of the room where we had
+seen the light, behind the desk, sat Mr. Parker, with his light hair
+rumpled, and a pen behind his ear.
+
+I stopped by the door, while Charles went to the desk and stood before
+him to intercept my view, but he could not help my hearing what was
+said, though he spoke low.
+
+"Did you give something to Sam, Parker, for bringing me your note at
+such a late hour?"
+
+"Certainly," in a loud voice.
+
+"He must be fifty, at least."
+
+"I should say so," rather lower.
+
+"Well, here is your money; you had better stay. I shall be devilish
+sorry for your father, who is my friend; you know he will be
+disappointed if you leave; depend upon it he will guess at the girl.
+Of course you would like to have me say I was in fault about giving
+you a blow--as I was. Stay. You will get over the affair. We all do.
+Is she handsome?"
+
+"Beautiful," in a meek but enthusiastic tone.
+
+"That goes, like the flowers; but they come every year again."
+
+"Yes?"
+
+"Yes, I say."
+
+"No; I'll stay and see."
+
+Charles turned away.
+
+"Good-evening, Mr. Parker," I said, stepping forward. I had met him at
+several parties at Rosville, but never at our house.
+
+"Excuse me, Miss Morgeson; I did not know you. I hope you are well."
+
+"Come," said Charles, with his hand on the latch.
+
+"Are you going to Mrs. Bancroft's whist party on Wednesday night, Mr.
+Parker?"
+
+"Yes; Miss Perkins was kind enough to invite me."
+
+"Cassandra, come." And Charles opened the door. I fumbled for the
+flower at my belt. "It's nice to have flowers so late; don't you think
+so?" inhaling the fragrance of my crushed specimens; "if they would
+but last. Will you have it?" stretching it toward him. He was about
+to take it, with a blush, when Charles struck it out of my hand and
+stepped on it.
+
+"Are you ready now?" he said, in a quick voice.
+
+I declared it was nothing, when I found I was too ill to rise the next
+morning. At the end of three days, as I still felt a disinclination to
+get up, Alice sent for her physician. I told him I was sleepy and felt
+dull pains. He requested me to sit up in bed, and rapped my shoulders
+and chest with his knuckles, in a forgetful way.
+
+"Nothing serious," he said; "but, like many women, you will continue
+to do something to keep in continual pain. If Nature does not endow
+your constitution with suffering, you will make up the loss by some
+fatal trifling, which will bring it. I dare say, now, that after this,
+you never will be quite well."
+
+"I will take care of my health."
+
+He looked into my face attentively.
+
+"You wont--you can't. Did you ever notice your temperament?"
+
+"No, never; what is it?"
+
+"How old are you?"
+
+"Eighteen, and four months."
+
+"Is it possible? How backward you are! You are quite interesting."
+
+"When may I get up?"
+
+"Next week; don't drink coffee. Remember to live in the day. Avoid
+stirring about in the night, as you would avoid Satan. Sleep, sleep
+then, and you'll make that beauty of yours last longer."
+
+"Am I a beauty? No living creature ever said so before."
+
+"Adipose beauty."
+
+"Fat?"
+
+"No; not that exactly. Good-day."
+
+He came again, and asked me questions concerning my father and mother;
+what my grandparents died of; and whether any of my family were
+strumous. He struck me as being very odd.
+
+My school friends were attentive, but I only admitted Helen Perkins to
+see me. Her liking for me opened my heart still more toward her. She
+was my first intimate friend--and my last. Though younger than I, she
+was more experienced, and had already passed through scenes I knew
+nothing of, which had sobered her judgment, and given her feelings a
+practical tinge. She was noted for having the highest spirits of any
+girl in school--another result of her experiences. She never allowed
+them to appear fluctuating; she was, therefore, an aid to me, whose
+moods varied.
+
+After my illness came a sense of change. I had lost that careless
+security in my strength which I had always possessed, and was troubled
+with vague doubts, that made me feel I needed help from without.
+
+I did not see Charles while I was ill, for he was absent most of the
+time. I knew when he was at home by the silence which pervaded the
+premises. When he was not there, Alice spread the children in all
+directions, and the servants gave tongue.
+
+He was not at home the day I went downstairs, and I missed him,
+continually asking myself, "Why do I?" As I sat with Alice in the
+garden-room, I said, "Alice." She looked up from her sewing. "I am
+thinking of Charles."
+
+"Yes. He will be glad to see you again."
+
+"Is he really related to me?"
+
+"He told you so, did he not? And his name certainly is Morgeson."
+
+"But we are wholly unlike, are we not?"
+
+"Wholly; but why do you ask?"
+
+"He influences me so strongly."
+
+"Influences you?" she echoed.
+
+"Yes"; and, with an effort, "I believe I influence him."
+
+"You are very handsome," she said, with a little sharpness. "So are
+flowers," I said to myself.
+
+"It is not that, Alice," I answered peevishly; "you know better."
+
+"You are peculiar, then; it may be he likes you for being so. He is
+odd, you know; but his oddity never troubles me." And she resumed her
+sewing with a placid face.
+
+"Veronica is odd, also," was my thought; "but oddity there runs in
+a different direction." Her image appeared to me, pale, delicate,
+unyielding. I seemed to wash like a weed at her base.
+
+"You should see my sister, Alice."
+
+"Charles spoke of her; he says she plays beautifully. If you feel
+strong next week, we will go to Boston, and make our winter purchases.
+By the way, I hope you are not nervous. To go back to Charles, I
+have noticed how little you say to him. You know he never talks. The
+influence you speak of--it does not make you dislike him?"
+
+"No; I meant to say--my choice of words must be poor--that it was
+possible I might be thinking too much of him; he is your husband,
+you know, though I do not think he is particularly interesting, or
+pleasing."
+
+She laughed, as if highly amused, and said: "Well, about our dresses.
+You need a ball dress, so do I; for we shall have balls this winter,
+and if the children are well, we will go. I think, too, that you had
+better get a gray cloth pelisse, with a fur trimming. We dress so much
+at church."
+
+"Perhaps," I said. "And how will a gray hat with feathers look? I must
+first write father, and ask for more money."
+
+"Of course; but he allows you all you want."
+
+"He is not so very rich; we do not live as handsomely as you do."
+
+It was tea-time when we had finished our confab, and Alice sent me to
+bed soon after. I was comfortably drowsy when I heard Charles driving
+into the stable. "There he is," I thought, with a light heart, for I
+felt better since I had spoken to Alice of him. Her matter-of-fact air
+had blown away the cobwebs that had gathered across my fancy.
+
+I saw him at the breakfast-table the next morning. He was noting
+something in his memorandum book, which excused him from offering me
+his hand; but he spoke kindly, said he was glad to see me, hoped I was
+well, and could find a breakfast that I liked.
+
+"For some reason or other, I do not eat so much as I did in Surrey."
+
+Alice laughed, and I blushed.
+
+"What do you think, Charles?" she said, "Cassandra seems worried by
+the influence, as she calls it, you have upon each other."
+
+"Does she?"
+
+He raised his strange, intense eyes to mine; a blinding, intelligent
+light flowed from them which I could not defy, nor resist, a light
+which filled my veins with a torrent of fire.
+
+"You think Cassandra is not like you," he continued with a curious
+intonation.
+
+"I told her that your oddities never troubled me."
+
+"That is right."
+
+"To-day," I muttered, "Alice, I shall go back to school."
+
+"You must ride," she answered.
+
+"Jesse will drive you up," said Charles, rising. Alice called him
+back, to tell him her plan of the Boston visit.
+
+"Certainly; go by all means," he said, and went on his way.
+
+I made my application to father, telling him I had nothing to wear. He
+answered with haste, begging me to clothe myself at once.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII.
+
+
+It was November when we returned from Boston. One morning when the
+frost sparkled on the dead leaves, which still dropped on the walks,
+Helen Perkins and I were taking a stroll down Silver Street, behind
+the Academy, when we saw Dr. White coming down the street in his
+sulky, rocking from side to side like a cradle. He stopped when he
+came up to us.
+
+"Do ye sit up late of evenings, Miss Morgeson?"
+
+"No, Doctor; only once a week or so."
+
+"You are a case." And he meditatively pulled his shaggy whiskers
+with a loose buckskin glove. "There's a ripple coming under your eyes
+already; what did I tell you? Let me see, did you say you were like
+father or mother?"
+
+"I look like my father. By the way, Doctor, I am studying my
+temperament. You will make an infidel of me by your inquiries."
+
+Helen laughed, and staring at him, called him a bear, and told him he
+ought to live in a hospital, where he would have plenty of sick women
+to tease.
+
+"I should find few like you there."
+
+He chirruped to his horse, but checked it again, put out his head and
+called, "Keep your feet warm, wont you? And read Shakespeare."
+
+Helen said that Dr. White had been crossed in love, and long after had
+married a deformed woman--for science's sake, perhaps. His talent was
+well known out of Rosville; but he was unambitious and eccentric.
+
+"He is interested in you, Cass, that I see. Are you quite well? What
+about the change you spoke of?"
+
+"Dr. White has theories; he has attached one to me. Nature has
+adjusted us nicely, he thinks, with fine strings; if we laugh too
+much, or cry too long, a knot slips somewhere, which 'all the king's
+men' can't take up again. Perhaps he judges women by his deformed
+wife. Men do judge that way, I suppose, and then pride themselves
+on their experience, commencing their speeches about us, with 'you
+women.' I'll answer your question, though,--there's a blight creeping
+over me, or a mildew."
+
+"Is there a worm i' the bud?"
+
+"There may be one at the root; my top is green and flourishing, isn't
+it?"
+
+"You expect to be in a state of beatitude always. What is a mote of
+dust in another's eye, in yours is a cataract. You are mad at your
+blindness, and fight the air because you can't see."
+
+"I feel that I see very little, especially when I understand the
+clearness of your vision. Your good sense is monstrous."
+
+"It will come right somehow, with you; when twenty years are wasted,
+maybe," she answered sadly. "There's the first bell! I haven't a word
+yet of my rhetoric lesson," opening her book and chanting, "'Man,
+thou pendulum betwixt a smile and tear.' Are you going to Professor
+Simpson's class?" shutting it again. "I know the new dance"; and
+she began to execute it on the walk. The door of a house opposite
+us opened, and a tall youth came out, hat in hand. Without evincing
+surprise, he advanced toward Helen, gravely dancing the same step;
+they finished the figure with unmoved countenances. "Come now," I
+said, taking her arm. He then made a series of bows to us, retreating
+to the house, with his face toward us, till he reached the door and
+closed it. He was tall and stout, with red hair, and piercing black
+eyes, and looked about twenty-three. "Who can that be, Helen?"
+
+"A stranger; probably some young man come to Dr. Price, or a law
+student. He is new here, at all events. His is not an obscure face; if
+it had been seen, we should have known it."
+
+"We shall meet him, then."
+
+And we did, the very next day, which was Wednesday, in the hall, where
+we went to hear the boys declaim. I saw him, sitting by himself in
+a chair, instead of being with the classes. He was in a brown study,
+unaware that he was observed; both hands were in his pockets, and his
+legs were stretched out till his pantaloons had receded up his boots,
+whose soles he knocked together, oblivious of the noise they made. In
+spite of his red hair, I thought him handsome, with his Roman nose and
+firm, clefted chin. Helen and I were opposite him at the lower part
+of the hall, but he did not see us, till the first boy mounted the
+platform, and began to spout one of Cicero's orations; then he looked
+up, and a smile spread over his face. He withdrew his hands from his
+pockets, updrew his legs, and surveyed the long row of girls opposite,
+beginning at the head of the hall. As his eyes reached us, a flash of
+recognition shot across; he raised his hand as if to salute us, and
+I noticed that it was remarkably handsome, small and white, and
+ornamented with an old-fashioned ring. It was our habit, after the
+exercises were over, to gather round Dr. Price, to exchange a few
+words with him. And this occasion was no exception, for Dr. Price,
+with his double spectacles, and his silk handkerchief in his hand,
+was answering our questions, when feeling a touch, he stopped, turned
+hastily, and saw the stranger.
+
+"Will you be so good as to introduce me to the two young ladies near
+you? We have met before, but I do not know their names."
+
+"Ah," said the Doctor, taking off his spectacles and wiping them
+leisurely; then raising his voice, said, "Miss Cassandra Morgeson and
+Miss Helen Perkins, Mr. Ben Somers, of Belem, requests me to present
+him to you. I add the information that he is, although a senior,
+suspended from Harvard College, for participating in a disgraceful
+fight. It is at your option to notice him."
+
+"If he would be kind enough," said Mr. Somers, moving toward us, "to
+say that I won it."
+
+"With such hands?" I asked.
+
+"Oh, Somers," interposed the Doctor, "have you much knowledge of the
+Bellevue Pickersgills' pedigree?"
+
+"Certainly; my grandpa, Desmond Pickersgill, although he came to this
+country as a cabin boy, was brother to an English earl. This is our
+coat of arms," showing the ring he wore.
+
+"That is a great fact," answered the Doctor.
+
+"This lad," addressing me, "belongs to the family I spoke of to you, a
+member of which married one of your name."
+
+"Is it possible? I never heard much of my father's family."
+
+"No," said the Doctor dryly; "Somers has no coat of arms. I expected,
+when I asked you, to hear that the Pickergills' history was at your
+fingers' ends."
+
+"Only above the second joint of the third finger of my left hand."
+
+I thought Dr. Price was embarrassing.
+
+"Is your family from Troy?" Mr. Somers asked me, in a low tone.
+
+"Do you dislike my name? Is that of Veronica a better one? It is my
+sister's, and we were named by our great-grandfather, who married a
+Somers, a hundred years ago."
+
+Miss Black, my Barmouth teacher, came into my mind, for I had said the
+same thing to her in my first interview; but I was recalled from my
+wandering by Mr. Somers asking, "Are you looking for your sister? Far
+be it from me to disparage any act of your great-grandfather's, but
+I prefer the name of Veronica, and fancy that the person to whom
+the name belongs has a narrow face, with eyes near together, and a
+quantity of light hair, which falls straight; that she has long hands;
+is fond of Gothic architecture, and has a will of her own."
+
+"But never dances," said Helen.
+
+There was a whist party at somebody's house every Wednesday evening.
+Alice had selected the present for one, and had invited more than the
+usual number. I asked Mr. Somers to come.
+
+"Dress coat?" he inquired.
+
+"Oh, no."
+
+"Is Rosville highly starched?"
+
+"Oh, no."
+
+"I'll be sure to go into society, then, as long as I can go limp."
+
+He bowed, and, retiring with Dr. Price, walked through the green with
+him, perusing the ground.
+
+I wore a dark blue silk for the party, with a cinnamon-colored satin
+stripe through it; a dress that Alice supervised. She fastened a pair
+of pearl ear-rings in my ears, and told me that I never looked better.
+It was the first time since grandfather's death that I had worn any
+dress except a black one. My short sleeves were purled velvet, and
+a lace tucker was drawn with a blue ribbon across the corsage. As
+I adjusted my dress, a triumphant sense of beauty possessed me;
+Cleopatra could not have been more convinced of her charms than I was
+of mine. "It is a pleasant thing," I thought, "that a woman's mind may
+come and go by the gate Beautiful."
+
+I went down before Alice, who stayed with the children till she heard
+the first ring at the door.
+
+"Where is Charles?" I asked, after we had greeted the Bancrofts.
+
+"He will come in time to play, for he likes whist; do you?"
+
+"No."
+
+We did not speak again, but I noticed how gay and agreeable she was
+through the evening.
+
+Ben Somers came early, suffering from a fit of nonchalance, to the
+disgust of several young men, standard beaux, who regarded him with an
+impertinence which delighted him.
+
+"Here comes," he said, "'a daughter of the gods, divinely tall, and
+most divinely fair.'" Meaning me, which deepened their disgust.
+
+"Come to the piano," I begged. Helen was there, but his eyes did not
+rest upon her, but upon Charles, whom I saw for the first time that
+evening. I introduced them.
+
+"Cassandra," said Charles, "let us make up a game in the East Room.
+Miss Helen, will you join? Mr. Somers, will you take a hand?"
+
+"Certainly. Miss Morgeson, will you be my partner?"
+
+"Will you play with me then, Miss Helen?" asked Charles.
+
+"If you desire it," she answered, rather ungraciously.
+
+We took our seats in the East Room, which opened from the parlor, at a
+little table by the chimney. The astral lamp from the center table in
+the parlor shone into our room, intercepting any view toward us. I sat
+by the window, the curtain of which was drawn apart, and the shutters
+unclosed. A few yellow leaves stuck against the panes, unstirred by
+the melancholy wind, which sighed through the crevices. Charles was at
+my right hand, by the mantel; the light from a candelabra illuminated
+him and Mr. Somers, while Helen and I were in shadow. Mr. Somers dealt
+the cards, and we began the game.
+
+"We shall beat you," he said to Charles.
+
+"Not unless Cassandra has improved," he replied.
+
+I promised to do my best, but soon grew weary, and we were beaten. To
+my surprise Mr. Somers was vexed. His imperturbable manner vanished;
+he sat erect, his eyes sparkled, and he told me I must play better. We
+began another game, which he was confident of winning. I kept my eyes
+on the cards, and there was silence till Mr. Somers exclaimed, "Don't
+trump now, Mr. Morgeson."
+
+I watched the table for his card to fall, but as it did not, looked
+at him for the reason. He had forgotten us, and was lost in
+contemplation, with his eyes fixed upon me. The recognition of
+some impulse had mastered him. I must prevent Helen and Mr. Somers
+perceiving this! I shuffled the cards noisily, rustled my dress,
+looked right and left for my handkerchief to break the spell.
+
+"How the wind moans!" said Helen. I understood her tone; she
+understood him, as I did.
+
+"I _like_ Rosville, Miss Perkins," cried Mr. Somers.
+
+"Do you?" said Charles, clicking down his card, as though his turn had
+just come. "I must trump this in spite of you."
+
+"I am tired of playing," I said.
+
+"We are beaten, Miss Perkins," said Mr. Somers, rising. "Bring it
+here," to a servant going by with a tray and glasses. He drank
+a goblet of wine, before he offered us any. "Now give us music!"
+offering his arm to Helen, and taking her away. Charles and I remained
+at the table. "By the way," he said abruptly, "I have forgotten to
+give you a letter from your father--here it is." I stretched my hand
+across the table, he retained it. I rose from my chair and stood
+beside him.
+
+"Cassandra," he said at last, growing ashy pale, "is there any other
+world than this we are in now?"
+
+I raised my eyes, and saw my own pale face in the glass over the
+mantel above his head.
+
+"What do you see?" he asked, starting up.
+
+I pointed to the glass.
+
+"I begin to think," I said, "there is another world, one peopled
+with creatures like those we see there. What are they--base, false,
+cowardly?"
+
+"Cowardly," he muttered, "will you make me crush you? Can we lie to
+each other? Look!"
+
+He turned me from the glass.
+
+At that moment Helen struck a crashing blow on the piano keys.
+
+"Charles, give me--give me the letter."
+
+He looked vaguely round the floor, it was crumpled in his hand. A side
+door shut, and I stood alone. Pinching my cheeks and wiping my lips to
+force the color back, I returned to the parlor. Mr. Somers came to me
+with a glass of wine. It was full, and some spilled on my dress; he
+made no offer to wipe it off. After that, he devoted himself to Alice;
+talked lightly with her, observing her closely. I made the tour of the
+party, overlooked the whist players, chatted with the talkers, finally
+taking a seat, where Helen joined me.
+
+"Now I am going," she said.
+
+"Why don't they all go?"
+
+"Look at Mr. Somers playing the agreeable to Mrs. Morgeson. What kind
+of a woman is she, Cass?"
+
+"Go and learn for yourself."
+
+"I fear I have not the gift for divining people that you have."
+
+"Do you hear the wind moan now, Helen?"
+
+She turned crimson, and said: "Let us go to the window; I think it
+rains."
+
+We stood within the curtains, and listened to its pattering on the
+floor of the piazza, and trickling down the glass like tears.
+
+"Helen, if one could weep as quietly as this rain falls, and keep the
+face as unwrinkled as the glass, it would be pretty to weep."
+
+"Is it hard for you to cry?"
+
+"I can't remember; it is so long since."
+
+My ear caught the sound of a step on the piazza.
+
+"Who is that?" she asked.
+
+"It is a man."
+
+"Morgeson?"
+
+"Morgeson."
+
+"Cassandra?"
+
+"Cassandra."
+
+"I can cry," and Helen covered her face.
+
+"Cry away, then. Give me a fierce shower of tears, with thunder and
+lightning between, if you like. Don't sop, and soak, and drizzle."
+
+The step came close to the window; it was not in harmony with the rain
+and darkness, but with the hot beating of my heart.
+
+"We are breaking up," called Mr. Somers. "Mr. Bancroft's carriage is
+ready, I am bid to say. It is inky outside."
+
+"Yes," said Helen, "I am quite ready."
+
+"There are a dozen chaises in the yard; Mr. Morgeson is there, and
+lanterns. He is at home among horses, I believe."
+
+"Do you like horses?" I asked.
+
+"Not in the least."
+
+Somebody called Helen.
+
+"Good-night, Cass."
+
+"Good-night; keep out of the rain."
+
+"Good-night, Miss Morgeson," said Mr. Somers, when she had gone.
+"Good-night and good-morning. My acquaintance with you has begun; it
+will never end. You thought me a boy; I am just your age."
+
+"'Never,' is a long word, Boy Somers."
+
+"It is."
+
+It rained all night; I wearied of its monotonous fall; if I slept it
+turned into a voice which was pent up in a letter which I could not
+open.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII.
+
+
+Alice was unusually gay the next morning. She praised Mr. Somers, and
+could not imagine what had been the cause of his being expelled from
+the college.
+
+"Don't you like him, Cassandra? His family are unexceptionable."
+
+"So is he, I believe, except in his fists. But how did you learn that
+his family were unexceptionable?"
+
+"Charles inquired in Boston, and heard that his mother was one of the
+greatest heiresses in Belem."
+
+"Did you enjoy last night, Alice?"
+
+"Yes, I am fond of whist parties. You noticed that Charles has not a
+remarkable talent that way. Did he speak to Mr. Somers at all, while
+you played? I was too busy to come in. By the by, I must go now, and
+see if the parlor is in order."
+
+I followed her with my bonnet in hand, for it was school time.
+She looked about, then went up to the mantel, and taking out the
+candle-ends from the candelabra, looked in the glass, and said, "I am
+a fright this morning."
+
+"Am I?" I asked over her shoulder, for I was nearly a head taller.
+
+"No; you are too young to look jaded in the morning. Your eyes are as
+clear as a child's; and how blue they are."
+
+"Mild and babyish-like, are they not? almost green with innocence. But
+Charles has devilish eyes, don't you think so?"
+
+She turned with her mouth open in astonishment, and her hand full of
+candle-ends. "Cassandra Morgeson, are you mad?"
+
+"Good-by," Alice.
+
+I only saw Mr. Somers at prayers during the following fortnight. But
+in that short time he made many acquaintances. Helen told me that he
+had decided to study law with Judge Ryder, and that he had asked her
+how long I expected to stay in Rosville. Nothing eccentric had been
+discovered in his behavior; but she was convinced that he would
+astonish us before long. The first Wednesday after our party, I was
+absent from the elocutionary exercise; but the second came round, and
+I took my place as usual beside Helen.
+
+"This will be Mr. Somers's first and last appearance on our stage,"
+she whispered; "some whim prompts him to come to-day."
+
+He delighted Dr. Price by translating from the Agamemnon of Æschylus.
+
+"Re-enter Clytemnestra."
+
+"_Men! Citizens! ye Elders of Argos present here._"
+
+"Who was Agamemnon?" I whispered.
+
+"He gave Cassandra her last ride."
+
+"Did he upset her?"
+
+"Study Greek and you will know," she replied, frowning at him as he
+stepped from the platform.
+
+We went to walk in Silver Street after school, and he joined us.
+
+"Do you read Greek?" he asked her.
+
+"My father is a Greek Professor, and he made me study it when I was a
+little girl."
+
+"The name of Cassandra inspired me to rub up my knowledge of the
+tragedies."
+
+Helen and he had a Homeric talk, while I silently walked by them,
+thinking that Cassandra would have suited Veronica, and that no name
+suited me. From some reason I did not discover, Helen began to loiter,
+pretending that she wanted to have a look at the clouds. But when I
+looked back her head was bent to the ground. Mr. Somers offered to
+carry my books.
+
+"Carry Helen's; she is smaller than I am."
+
+"Confound Helen!"
+
+"And the books, too, if you like. Helen," I called, "why do you
+loiter? It is time for dinner. We must go home."
+
+"I am quite ready for my dinner," she replied. "Wont you come to our
+house this afternoon and take tea with me?"
+
+"Oh, Miss Perkins, do invite me also," he begged. "I want to bring
+Tennyson to you."
+
+"Is he related to Agamemnon?" I asked.
+
+"I'll ask Mrs. Bancroft if I may invite you," said Helen, "if you are
+sure that you would like a stupid, family tea."
+
+"I am positive that I should. Tennyson, though an eminent Grecian, is
+not related to the person you spoke of."
+
+We parted at the foot of Silver Street, with the expectation of
+meeting before night. Helen sent me word not to fail, as she had sent
+for Mr. Somers, and that Mrs. Bancroft was already preparing tea.
+Alice drove down there with me, to call on Mrs. Bancroft. The two
+ladies compared children, and by the time Alice was ready to go, Mr.
+Somers arrived. She staid a few moments more to chat with him, and
+when she went at last, told me Charles would come for me on his way
+from the mills.
+
+My eyes wandered in the direction of Mr. Somers. His said: "No; go
+home with _me_."
+
+"Very well, Alice, whatever is convenient," I answered quietly.
+
+Mrs. Bancroft was a motherly woman, and Mr. Bancroft was a fatherly
+man. Five children sat round the tea-table, distinguished by the
+Bancroft nose. Helen and I were seated each side of Mr. Somers. The
+table reminded me of our table at Surrey, it was so covered with vast
+viands; but the dishes were alike, and handsome. I wondered whether
+mother had bought the new china in Boston, and, buttering my second
+hot biscuit, I thought of Veronica; then, of the sea. How did it look?
+Hark! Its voice was in my ear! Could I climb the housetop? Might I not
+see the mist which hung over our low-lying sea by Surrey?
+
+"Will you take quince or apple jelly, Miss Morgeson?" asked Mrs.
+Bancroft.
+
+"Apple, if you please."
+
+"Do you write that sister of yours often?" asked Mr. Somers, as he
+passed me the apple jelly.
+
+"I never write her."
+
+"Will you tell me something of Surrey?"
+
+"Mr. Somers, shall I give you a cup-custard?"
+
+"No, thank you, mam."
+
+"Surrey is lonely, evangelical, primitive."
+
+"Belem is dreary too; most of it goes to Boston, or to India."
+
+"Does it smell of sandal wood? And has everybody tea-caddies? _Vide_
+Indian stories."
+
+"We have a crate of queer things from Calcutta."
+
+"Are you going to study law with Judge Ryder?" Mr. Bancroft inquired.
+
+"I think so."
+
+Then Helen pushed back her chair; and Mrs. Bancroft stood in her place
+long enough for us to reach the parlor door.
+
+"And I must go to the office," Mr. Bancroft said, so we had the parlor
+to ourselves; but Mr. Somers did not read from Tennyson--for he had
+forgotten to bring the book.
+
+"Now for a compact," he said. "I must be called Ben Somers by you; and
+may I call you Cassandra, and Helen?"
+
+"Yes," we answered.
+
+"Let us be confidential."
+
+And we were. I was drawn into speaking of my life at home; my remarks,
+made without premeditation, proved that I possessed ideas and feelings
+hitherto unknown. I felt no shyness before him, and, although I saw
+his interest in me, no agitation. Helen was also moved to tell us
+that she was engaged. She rolled up her sleeve to show us a bracelet,
+printed in ink on her arm, with the initials, "L.N." Those of her
+cousin, she said; he was a sailor, and some time, she supposed, they
+would marry.
+
+"How could you consent to have your arm so defaced?" I asked.
+
+Her eyes flashed as she replied that she had not looked upon the mark
+in that light before.
+
+"We may all be tattooed," said Mr. Somers.
+
+"I am," I thought.
+
+He told us in his turn that he should be rich. "There are five of us.
+My mother's fortune cuts up rather; but it wont be divided till the
+youngest is twenty-one. I assure you we are impatient."
+
+"Some one of your family happened to marry a Morgeson," I here
+remarked.
+
+"I wrote father about that; he must know the circumstance, though he
+never has a chance to expatiate on _his_ side of the house. Poor man!
+he has the gout, and passes his time in experiments with temperature
+and diet. Will you ever visit Belem? I shall certainly go to Surrey."
+
+Mrs. Bancroft interrupted us, and soon after Mr. Bancroft arrived,
+redolent of smoke. Ten o'clock came, and nobody for me. At half-past
+ten I put on my shawl to walk home, when Charles drove up to the gate.
+
+"Say," said Ben Somers, in a low voice, "that you will walk with me."
+
+"I am not too late, Cassandra?" called Charles, coming up the steps,
+bowing to all. "I am glad you are ready; Nell is impatient."
+
+"My dear," asked Mrs. Bancroft, "how dare you trust to the mercy of
+such vicious beasts as Mr. Morgeson loves to drive?"
+
+"Come," he said, touching my arm.
+
+"Wont you walk?" said Mr. Somers aloud.
+
+"Walk?" echoed Charles. "No."
+
+"I followed him. Nell had already bitten off a paling; and as he
+untied her he boxed her ears. She did not jump, for she knew the hand
+that struck her. We rushed swiftly away through the long shadows of
+the moonlight.
+
+"Charles, what did Ben Somers do at Harvard?"
+
+"He was in a night-fight, and he sometimes got drunk; it is a family
+habit."
+
+"Pray, why did you inquire about him?"
+
+"From the interest I feel in him."
+
+"You like him, then?"
+
+"I detest him; do you too?"
+
+"I like him."
+
+He bent down and looked into my face.
+
+"You are telling me a lie."
+
+I made no reply.
+
+"I should beg your pardon, but I will not. I am going away to-morrow.
+Give me your hand, and say farewell."
+
+"Farewell then. Is Alice up? I see a light moving in her chamber."
+
+"If you do, she is not waiting for me."
+
+"I have been making coffee for you," she said, as soon as we entered,
+"in my French biggin. I have packed your valise too, Charles, and have
+ordered your breakfast. Cassy, we will breakfast after he has gone."
+
+"I have to sit up to write, Alice. See that the horses are exercised.
+Ask Parker to drive them. The men will be here to-morrow to enlarge
+the conservatory."
+
+"Yes."
+
+"I shall get a better stock while I am away."
+
+I sipped my coffee; Alice yawned fearfully, with her hand on the
+coffee-pot, ready to pour again. "Why, Charles," she exclaimed, "there
+is no cream in your coffee."
+
+"No, there isn't," looking into his cup; "nor sugar."
+
+She threw a lump at him, which he caught, laughing one of his abrupt
+laughs.
+
+"How extraordinarily affectionate," I thought, but somehow it pleased
+me.
+
+"Why do you tempt me, Alice?" I said. "Doctor White says I must not
+drink coffee."
+
+"Tempted!" Charles exclaimed. "Cassandra is never tempted. What she
+does, she does because she will. Don't worry yourself, Alice, about
+her."
+
+"Because I will," I repeated.
+
+A nervous foreboding possessed me, the moment I entered my room. Was
+it the coffee? Twice in the night I lighted my candle, looked at the
+little French clock on the mantel, and under the bed. At last I fell
+asleep, but starting violently from its oblivious dark, to become
+aware that the darkness of the room was sentient. A breath passed over
+my face; but I caught no sound, though I held my breath to listen for
+one. I moved my hands before me then, but they came in contact with
+nothing. My forebodings passed away, and I slept till Alice sent for
+me. I sat up in bed philosophizing, and examining the position of
+the chairs, the tops of the tables and the door. No change had taken
+place. But my eyes happened to fall on my handkerchief, which had
+dropped by the bedside. I picked it up; there was a dusty footprint
+upon it. The bell rang, and, throwing it under the bed, I dressed and
+ran down. Alice was taking breakfast, tired of waiting. She said the
+baby had cried till after midnight, and that Charles never came to bed
+at all.
+
+"Do eat this hot toast; it has just come in."
+
+"I shall stay at home to-day, Alice, I feel chilly; is it cold?"
+
+"You must have a fire in your room."
+
+"Let me have one to day; I should like to sit there."
+
+She gave orders for the fire, and went herself to see that it burned.
+Soon I was sitting before it, my feet on a stool, and a poker in my
+hand with which I smashed the smoky lumps of coal which smoldered in
+the grate.
+
+I stayed there all day, looking out of the window when I heard the
+horses tramp in the stable or a step on the piazza. It was a dull
+November day; the atmosphere was glutinous with a pale mist, which
+made the leaves stick together in bunches, helplessly cumbering the
+ground. The boughs dropped silent tears over them, under the gray,
+pitiless sky. I read Byron, which was the only book in the house,
+I believe; for neither Charles nor Alice read anything except the
+newspapers. I looked over my small stores also, and my papers, which
+consisted of father's letters. As I was sorting them the thought
+struck me of writing to Veronica, and I arranged my portfolio, pulled
+the table nearer the fire, and began, "Dear Veronica." After writing
+this a few times I gave it up, cut off the "Dear Veronicas," and made
+lamplighters of the paper.
+
+Ben Somers called at noon, to inquire the reason of my absence from
+school, and left a book for me. It was the poems he had spoken of.
+I lighted on "Fatima," read it and copied it. In the afternoon Alice
+came up with the baby.
+
+"Let me braid your hair," she said, "in a different fashion."
+
+I assented; the baby was bestowed on a rug, and a chair was put before
+the glass, that I might witness the operation.
+
+"What magnificent hair!" she said, as she unrolled it. "It is a yard
+long."
+
+"It is a regular mane, isn't it?"
+
+She began combing it; the baby crawled under the bed, and coming out
+with the handkerchief in its hand, crept up to her, trying to make her
+take it. She had combed my hair over my face, but I saw it.
+
+"Do I hurt you, Cass?"
+
+"No, do I ever hurt you, Alice?" And I divided the long bands over my
+eyes, and looked up at her.
+
+"Were any of your family ever cracked? I have long suspected you of a
+disposition that way."
+
+"The child is choking itself with that handkerchief."
+
+She took it, and, tossing it on the bed, gave Byron to the child to
+play with, and went on with the hair-dressing.
+
+"There, now," she said, "is not this a masterpiece of barber's craft?
+Look at the back of your head, and then come down."
+
+"Yes, I will, for I feel better."
+
+When I returned to my room again it was like meeting a confidential
+friend.
+
+A few days after, father came to Rosville. I invited Ben Somers and
+Helen to spend with us the only evening he stayed. After they were
+gone, we sat in my room and talked over many matters. His spirits were
+not as buoyant as usual, and I felt an undefinable anxiety which I did
+not mention. When he said that mother was more abstracted than
+ever, he sighed. I asked him how many years he thought I must waste;
+eighteen had already gone for nothing.
+
+"You must go in the way ordained, waste or no waste. I have tried to
+make your life differ from mine at the same age, for you are like me,
+and I wanted to see the result."
+
+"We shall see."
+
+"Veronica has been let alone--is master of herself, except when in a
+rage. She is an extraordinary girl; independent of kith and kin, and
+everything else. I assure you, Miss Cassy, she is very good."
+
+"Does she ever ask for me?"
+
+"I never heard her mention your name but once. She asked one day what
+your teachers were. You do not love each other, I suppose. What hatred
+there is between near relations! Bitter, bitter," he said calmly, as
+if he thought of some object incapable of the hatred he spoke of.
+
+"That's Grandfather John Morgeson you think of. I do not hate
+Veronica. I think I love her; at least she interests me."
+
+"The same creeping in the blood of us all, Cassy. I did not like my
+father; but thank God I behaved decently toward him. It must be late."
+
+As he kissed me, and we stood face to face, I recognized my likeness
+to him. "He has had experiences that I shall never know," I thought.
+"Why should I tell him mine?" But an overpowering impulse seized me
+to speak to him of Charles. "Father," and I put my hands on his
+shoulders. He set his candle back on the table.
+
+"You look hungry-eyed, eager. What is it? Are you well?"
+
+"No."
+
+"You are faded a little. Your face has lost its firmness."
+
+My impulse died a sudden death. I buried it with a swallow.
+
+"Do you think so?"
+
+"You are all alike. Let me tell you something; don't get sick. If you
+are, hide it as much as possible. Men do not like sick women."
+
+"I'll end this fading business as soon as possible. It _is_ late.
+Good-night, dad."
+
+I examined my face as soon as he closed the door. There _was_ a
+change. Not the change from health to disease, but an expression
+lurking there--a reflection of some unrevealed secret.
+
+The next morning was passed with Alice and the children. He was
+pleased with her prettiness and sprightliness, and his gentle manner
+and disposition pleased her. She asked him to let me spend another
+year in Rosville; but he said that I must return to Surrey, and that
+he never would allow me to leave home again.
+
+"She will marry."
+
+"Not early."
+
+"Never, I believe," I said.
+
+"It will be as well."
+
+"Yes," she replied; "if you leave her a fortune, or teach her some
+trade, that will give her some importance in the world."
+
+Her wisdom astonished me.
+
+He was sorry, he said, that Morgeson was not at home. When he
+mentioned him I looked out of the window, and saw Ben Somers coming
+into the yard. As he entered, Alice gave him a meaning look, which was
+not lost upon me, and which induced him to observe Ben closely.
+
+"The train is nearly due, Mr. Morgeson; shall I walk to the station
+with you?"
+
+"Certainly; come, Cassy."
+
+On the way he touched me, making a sign toward Ben. I shook my head,
+which appeared satisfactory. The rest of the time was consumed in the
+discussion of the relationship, which ended in an invitation, as I
+expected, to Surrey.
+
+"The governor is not worried, is he?" asked Ben, on our way back.
+
+"No more than I am."
+
+"What a pity Morgeson was not at home!"
+
+"Why a pity?"
+
+"I should like to see them together, they are such antipodal men. Does
+your father know him well?"
+
+"Does any one know him well?"
+
+"Yes, I know him. I do not like him. He is a savage, living by his
+instincts, with one element of civilization--he loves Beauty--beauty
+like yours." He turned pale when he said this, but went on. "He has
+never seen a woman like you; who has? Forgive me, but I watch you
+both."
+
+"I have perceived it."
+
+"I suppose so, and it makes you more willful."
+
+"You said you were but a boy."
+
+"Yes, but I have had one or two manly wickednesses. I have done with
+them, I hope."
+
+"So that you have leisure to pry into those of others."
+
+"You do not forgive me."
+
+"I like you; but what can I do?"
+
+"Keep up your sophistry to the last."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX.
+
+
+Alice and I were preparing for the first ball, when Charles came home,
+having been absent several weeks. The conservatory was finished, and
+looked well, jutting from the garden-room, which we used often, since
+the weather had been cold. The flowers and plants it was filled with
+were more fragrant and beautiful than rare. I never saw him look so
+genial as when he inspected it with us. Alice was in good-humor, also,
+for he had brought her a set of jewels.
+
+"Is it not her birthday," he said, when he gave her the jewel case,
+"or something, that I can give Cassandra this?" taking a little box
+from his pocket.
+
+"Oh yes," said Alice; "show it to us."
+
+"Will you have it?" he asked me.
+
+I held out my hand, and he put on my third finger a diamond ring,
+which was like a star.
+
+"How well it looks on your long hand!" said Alice.
+
+"What unsuspected tastes I find I have!" I answered. "I am
+passionately fond of rings; this delights me."
+
+His swarthy face flushed with pleasure at my words; but, according to
+his wont, he said nothing.
+
+A few days after his return, a man came into the yard, leading a
+powerful horse chafing in his halter, which he took to the
+stable. Charles asked me to look at a new purchase he had made in
+Pennsylvania. The strange man was lounging about the stalls when we
+went in, inspecting the horses with a knowing air.
+
+"I declare, sir," said Jesse, "I am afeared to tackle this ere animal;
+he's a reglar brute, and no mistake."
+
+"He'll be tame enough; he is but four years old."
+
+"He's never been in a carriage," said the man.
+
+"Lead him out, will you?"
+
+The man obeyed. The horse was a fine creature, black, and thick-maned;
+but the whites of his eyes were not clear; they were streaked with
+red, and he attempted continually to turn his nostrils inside out.
+Altogether, I thought him diabolical.
+
+"What's the matter with his eyes?" Charles asked.
+
+"I think, sir," the man replied, "as how they got inflamed like, in
+the boat coming from New York. It's nothing perticalar, I believe."
+
+Alice declared it was too bad, when she heard there was another horse
+in the stable. She would not look at him, and said she would never
+ride with Charles when he drove him.
+
+I had been taking lessons of Professor Simpson, and was ready for
+the ball. All the girls from the Academy were going in white, except
+Helen, who was to wear pink silk. It was to be a military ball, and
+strangers were expected. Ben Somers, and our Rosville beaux, were
+of course to be there, all in uniform, except Ben, who preferred the
+dress of a gentleman, he said,--silk stockings, pumps, and a white
+cravat.
+
+We were dressed by nine o'clock, Alice in black velvet, with a wreath
+of flowers in her black hair--I in a light blue velvet bodice, and
+white silk skirt. We were waiting for the ball hack to come for us, as
+that was the custom, for no one owned a close coach in Rosville, when
+Charles brought in some splendid scarlet flowers which he gave to
+Alice.
+
+"Where are Cassandra's?"
+
+"She does not care for flowers; besides, she would throw them away on
+her first partner."
+
+He put us in the coach, and went back. I was glad he did not come with
+us, and gave myself up to the excitement of my first ball. Alice was
+surrounded by her acquaintances at once, and I was asked to dance a
+quadrille by Mr. Parker, whose gloves were much too large, and whose
+white trowsers were much too long.
+
+"I kept the flowers you gave me," he said in a breathless way.
+
+"Oh yes, I remember; mustn't we forward now?"
+
+"Mr. Morgeson's very fond of flowers."
+
+"So he is. How de do, Miss Ryder."
+
+Miss Ryder, my vis-à-vis, bowed, looking scornfully at my partner, who
+was only a clerk, while hers was a law student. I immediately turned
+to Mr. Parker with affable smiles, and went into a kind of dumb-show
+of conversation, which made him warm and uncomfortable. Mrs. Judge
+Ryder sailed by on Ben Somers's arm.
+
+"Put your shoulders down," she whispered to her daughter, who had
+poked one very much out of her dress. "My love," she spoke aloud, "you
+mustn't dance _every_ set."
+
+"No, ma," and she passed on, Ben giving a faint cough, for my benefit.
+We could not find Alice after the dance was over. A brass band
+alternated with the quadrille band, and it played so loudly that we
+had to talk at the top of our voices to be heard. Mine soon gave out,
+and I begged Mr. Parker to bring Helen, for I had not yet seen her.
+She was with Dr. White, who had dropped in to see the miserable
+spectacle. The air, he said, shaking his finger at me, was already
+miasmal; it would be infernal by midnight Christians ought not to be
+there. "Go home early, Miss. Your mother never went to a ball, I'll
+warrant."
+
+"We are wiser than our mothers."
+
+"And wickeder; you will send for me to-morrow."
+
+"Your Valenciennes lace excruciates the Ryders," said Helen. "I was
+standing near Mrs. Judge Ryder and the girls just now. 'Did you ever
+see such an upstart?' And, 'What an extravagant dress she has on--it
+is ridiculous,' Josephine Ryder said. When Ben Somers heard this
+attack on you, he told them that your lace was an heirloom. Here he
+is." Mr. Parker took her away, and Ben Somers went in pursuit of a
+seat. The quadrille was over, I was engaged for the next, and he had
+not come back. I saw nothing of him till the country dance before
+supper. He was at the foot of the long line, opposite a pretty girl
+in blue, looking very solemn and stately. I took off the glove from my
+hand which wore the new diamond, and held it up, expecting him to look
+my way soon. Its flash caught his eyes, as they roamed up and down,
+and, as I expected, he left his place and came up behind me.
+
+"Where did you get that ring?" wiping his face with his handkerchief.
+
+"Ask Alice."
+
+"You are politic."
+
+"Handsome, isn't it?"
+
+"And valuable; it cost as much as the new horse."
+
+"Have you made a memorandum of it?"
+
+"Destiny has brilliant spokes in her wheel, hasn't she?"
+
+"Is that from the Greek tragedies?"
+
+"To your places, gentlemen," the floor-manager called, and the band
+struck up the Fisher's Hornpipe. At supper, I saw Ben Somers, still
+with the pretty girl in blue; but he came to my chair and asked me if
+I did not think she was a pretty toy for a man to play with.
+
+"How much wine have you drunk? Enough to do justice to the family
+annals?"
+
+"Really, you have been well informed. No, I have _not_ drunk enough
+for that; but Mrs. Ryder has sent her virgins home with me. I am
+afraid their lamps are upset again. I drink nothing after to-night.
+You shall not ask again, 'How much?'"
+
+My fire was out when I reached home. My head was burning and aching.
+I was too tired to untwist my hair, and I pulled and dragged at my
+dress, which seemed to have a hundred fastenings. Creeping into bed,
+I perceived the odor of flowers, and looking at my table discovered a
+bunch of white roses.
+
+"Roses are nonsense, and life is nonsense," I thought.
+
+When I opened my eyes, Alice was standing by the bed, with a glass of
+roses in her hand.
+
+"Charles put these roses here, hey?"
+
+"I suppose so; throw them out of the window, and me too; my head is
+splitting."
+
+"To make amends for not giving you any last night," she went on; "he
+is quite childish."
+
+"Can't you unbraid my hair, it hurts my head so?"
+
+She felt my hands. I was in a fever, she said, and ran down for
+Charles. "Cass is sick, in spite of your white roses."
+
+"The devil take the roses. Can't you get up, Cassandra?"
+
+"Not now. Go away, will you?"
+
+He left the room abruptly. Alice loosened my hair, bound my head, and
+poured cologne-water over me, lamenting all the while that she had not
+brought me home; and then went down for some tea, presently returning
+to say that Charles had been for Dr. White, who said he would not
+come. But he was there shortly afterward. By night I was well again.
+
+Dr. Price gave us a lecture on late hours that week, requesting us, if
+we had any interest in our education, or expected him to have any, to
+abstain from balls.
+
+Ben Somers disappeared; no one knew where he had gone. The Ryders were
+in consternation, for he was an intimate of the family, since he
+had gone into Judge Ryder's office, six weeks before. He returned,
+however, with a new overcoat trimmed with fur, the same as that with
+which my new cloak was trimmed. A great snowstorm began the day of his
+return, and blocked us indoors for several days, and we had permanent
+sleighing afterward.
+
+In January it was proposed that we should go to the Swan Tavern, ten
+miles out of Rosville.
+
+I had made good resolutions since the ball, and declined going to the
+second, which came off three weeks afterward. The truth was, I did not
+enjoy the first; but I preferred to give my decision a virtuous tinge.
+I also determined to leave the Academy when the spring came, for I
+felt no longer a schoolgirl. But for Helen, I could not have remained
+as I did. She stayed for pastime now, she confessed, it was so dull at
+home; her father was wrapped in his studies, and she had a stepmother.
+I resolved again that I would study more, and was translating, in view
+of this resolve, "Corinne," with Miss Prior, and singing sedulously
+with Mrs. Lane, and had begun a course of reading with Dr. Price.
+
+I refused two invitations to join the sleighing party, and on the
+night it was to be had prepared to pass the evening in my own room
+with Oswald and Corinne. Before the fire, with lighted candles, I
+heard a ringing of bells in the yard and a stamping of feet on the
+piazza. Alice sent up for me. I found Ben Somers with her, who begged
+me to take a seat in his sleigh. Helen was there, and Amelia Bancroft.
+Alice applauded me for refusing him; but when he whispered in my ear
+that he had been to Surrey I changed my mind. She assisted me with
+cheerful alacrity to put on a merino dress, its color was purple;--a
+color I hate now, and never wear--and wrapped me warmly. Charles
+appeared before we started. "Are you really going?" he asked, in a
+tone of displeasure.
+
+"She is really going," Ben answered for me. "Mr. and Mrs. Bancroft are
+going," Helen said. "Why not drive out with Mrs. Morgeson?"
+
+"The night is splendid," Ben remarked.
+
+"Wont you come?" I asked.
+
+"If Alice wishes it. Will you go?" he asked her.
+
+"Would you?" she inquired of all, and all replied, "Yes."
+
+We started in advance. Helen and Amelia were packed on the back seat,
+in a buffalo robe, while Ben and I sat in the shelter of the driver's
+box, wrapped in another. It was moonlight, and as we passed the
+sleighs of the rest of the party, exchanging greetings, we grew very
+merry. Ben, voluble and airy, enlivened us by his high spirits.
+
+We were drinking mulled wine round the long pine dinner-table of the
+Swan, when Charles and Alice arrived. There were about thirty in the
+room, which was lighted by tallow candles. When he entered, it seemed
+as if the candles suddenly required snuffing, and we ceased to laugh.
+All spoke to him with respect, but with an inflection of the voice
+which denoted that he was not one of us. As he carelessly passed round
+the table all made a movement as he approached, scraping their chairs
+on the bare floor, moving their glass of mulled wine, or altering the
+position of their arms or legs. An indescribable appreciation of the
+impression which he made upon others filled my heart. His isolation
+from the sympathy of every person there gave me a pain and a pity, and
+for the first time I felt a pang of tenderness, and a throe of pride
+for him. But Alice, upon whom he never made any impression, saw
+nothing of this; her gayety soon removed the stiffness and silence he
+created. The party grew noisy again, except Ben, who had not broken
+the silence into which he fell as soon as he saw Charles. The mulled
+wine stood before him untouched. I moved to the corner of the table
+to allow room for the chair which Charles was turning toward me. Ben
+ordered more wine, and sent a glass full to him. Taking it from
+the boy who brought it, I gave it to him. "Drink," I said. My voice
+sounded strangely. Barely tasting it, he set the glass down, and
+leaning his arm on the table, turned his face to me, shielding it with
+his hand from the gaze of those about us. I pushed away a candle that
+flared in our faces.
+
+"You never drink wine?"
+
+"No, Cassandra."
+
+"How was the ride down?"
+
+"Delightful."
+
+"What about the new horse?"
+
+"He is an awful brute."
+
+"When shall we have a ride with him?"
+
+"When you please."
+
+The boy came in to say would we please go to the parlor; our room was
+wanted for supper. An immediate rush, with loud laughing, took place,
+for the parlor fire; but Charles and I did not move. I was busy
+remaking the bow of my purple silk cravat.
+
+"'I drink the cup of a costly death,'" Ben hummed, as he sauntered
+along by us, hands in his pockets--the last in the room, except us
+two.
+
+"Indeed, Somers; perhaps you would like this too." And Charles offered
+him his glass of wine.
+
+Ben took it, and with his thumb and finger snapped it off at the stem,
+tipping the wine over Charles's hand.
+
+I saw it staining his wristband, like blood. He did not stir, but a
+slight smile traveled swiftly over his face.
+
+"I know Veronica," said Ben, looking at me. "Has this man seen _her_?"
+
+His voice crushed me. What a barrier his expression of contempt made
+between her and me!
+
+Withal, I felt a humiliating sense of defeat.
+
+Charles read me.
+
+As he folded his wristband under his sleeve, carefully and slowly, his
+slender fingers did not tremble with the desire that possessed him,
+which I saw in his terrible eyes as plainly as if he had spoken, "I
+would kill him."
+
+They looked at my hands, for I was wringing them, and a groan burst
+from me.
+
+"Somers," said Charles, rising and touching his shoulder, "behave like
+a man, and let us alone; I love this girl."
+
+His pale face changed, his eyes softened, and mine filled with tears.
+
+"Cassandra," urged Ben, in a gentle voice, "come with me; come away."
+
+"Fool," I answered; "leave _me_ alone, and go."
+
+He hesitated, moved toward the door, and again urged me to come.
+
+"Go! go!" stamping my foot, and the door closed without a sound.
+
+For a moment we stood, transfixed in an isolation which separated us
+from all the world beside.
+
+"Now Charles, we"--a convulsive sob choked me, a strange taste filled
+my mouth, I put my handkerchief to my lips and wiped away streaks of
+blood. I showed it to him.
+
+"It is nothing, by God!" snatching the handkerchief. "Take mine--oh,
+my dear--"
+
+I tried to laugh, and muttered the imperative fact of joining the
+rest.
+
+"Be quiet, Cassandra."
+
+He opened the window, took a handful of snow from the sill and put it
+to my mouth. It revived me.
+
+"Do you hear, Charles? Never say those frightful words again. Never,
+never."
+
+"Never, if it must be so."
+
+He touched my hand; I opened it; his closed over mine.
+
+"Go, now," he said, and springing to the window, threw it up, and
+jumped out. The boy came in with a tablecloth on his arm, and behind
+him Ben.
+
+"Glass broken, sir."
+
+"Put it in the bill."
+
+He offered me his arm, which I was glad to take.
+
+"Where is Charles?" Alice asked, when we went in.
+
+"He has just left us," Ben answered; "looking after his horses,
+probably."
+
+"Of course," she replied. "You look blue, Cass. Here, take my chair by
+the fire; we are going to dance a Virginia reel."
+
+I accepted her offer, and was thankful that the dance would take them
+away. I wanted to be alone forever. Helen glided behind my chair, and
+laid her hand on my shoulder; I shook it off.
+
+"What is the matter, Cass?"
+
+"I am going away from Char--school."
+
+"We are all going; but not to-night."
+
+"I am going to-night."
+
+"So you shall, dear; but wait till after supper."
+
+"Do you think, Helen, that I shall ever have consumption?" fumbling
+for my handkerchief, forgetting in whose possession it was. Charles
+came in at that instant, and I remembered that he had it.
+
+"What on earth has happened to you? Oh!" she exclaimed, as I looked at
+her. "You were out there with Morgeson and Ben Somers," she whispered;
+"something has occurred; what is it?"
+
+"You shall never know; never--never--never."
+
+"Cassandra, that man is a devil."
+
+"I like devils."
+
+"The same blood rages in both of you."
+
+"It's mulled wine,--thick and stupid."
+
+"Nonsense."
+
+"Will there be tea, at supper?"
+
+"You shall have some."
+
+"Ask Ben to order it."
+
+"Heaven forgive us all, Cassandra!"
+
+"Remember the tea."
+
+Charles stood near his wife; wherever she moved afterwards he moved.
+I saw it, and felt that it was the shadow of something which would
+follow.
+
+At last the time came for us to return. Helen had plied me with tea,
+and was otherwise watchful, but scarcely spoke.
+
+"It is an age," I said, "since I left Rosville."
+
+She raised her eyebrows merely, and asked me if I would have more tea.
+
+"In my room," I thought, "I shall find myself again." And as I opened
+my door, it welcomed me with so friendly and silent an aspect, that I
+betrayed my grief, and it covered my misery as with a cloak.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX.
+
+
+Helen was called home by the illness of her father and did not return
+to Rosville. She would write me, she said; but it was many weeks
+before I received a letter. Ben Somers about this time took a fit of
+industry, and made a plan for what he called a well-regulated life,
+averring that he should always abide by it. Every hour had its duty,
+which must be fulfilled. He weighed his bread and meat, ate so many
+ounces a day, and slept watch and watch, as he nautically termed it.
+I guessed that the meaning of his plan was to withdraw from the
+self-chosen post of censor. His only alienation was an occasional
+disappearance for a few days. I never asked him where he went, and had
+never spoken to him concerning his mysterious remark about having
+been in Surrey. Neither had I heard anything of his being there from
+father. Once he told me that his father had explained the marriage of
+old Locke Morgeson; but that it was not clear to him that we were at
+all related.
+
+In consequence of his rigorous life, I saw little of him. Though
+urged by Alice, he did not come to our house, and we rarely met him
+elsewhere. People called him eccentric, but as he was of a rich family
+he could afford to be, and they felt no slight by his neglect.
+
+There was a change everywhere. The greatest change of all was in
+Charles. From the night of the sleigh-ride his manner toward me was
+totally altered. As far as I could discern, the change was a confirmed
+one. The days grew monotonous, but my mind avenged itself by night in
+dreams, which renewed our old relation in all its mysterious vitality.
+So strong were their impressions that each morning I expected to
+receive some token from him which would prove that they were not
+lies. As my expectation grew cold and faint, the sense of a double
+hallucination tormented me--the past and the present.
+
+The winter was over. I passed it like the rest of Rosville, going out
+when Alice went, staying at home when she stayed. It was all one what
+I did, for my aspect was one of content.
+
+Alice alone was unchanged; her spirits and pursuits were always the
+same. Judging by herself, if she judged at all, she perceived no
+change in us. Her theory regarding Charles was too firm to be shaken,
+and all his oddity was a matter of course. As long as I ate, and
+drank, and slept as usual, I too must be the same. He was not at home
+much. Business, kept him at the mills, where he often slept, or out of
+town. But the home machinery was still under his controlling hand. Not
+a leaf dropped in the conservatory that he did not see; not a meal
+was served whose slightest detail was not according to his desire. The
+horses were exercised, the servants managed, the children kept within
+bounds; nothing in the formula of our daily life was ever dropped, and
+yet I scarcely ever saw him! When we met, I shared his attentions. He
+gave me flowers; noticed my dress; spoke of the affairs of the day;
+but all in so public and matter-of-fact a way that I thought I must be
+the victim of a vicious sentimentality, or that he had amused himself
+with me. Either way, the sooner I cured myself of my vice the better.
+But my dreams continued.
+
+"I miss something in your letters," father complained. "What is it?
+Would you like to come home? Your mother is failing in health--she may
+need you, though she says not."
+
+I wrote him that I should come home.
+
+"Are you prepared," he asked in return, "to remain at home for the
+future? Have you laid the foundation of anything by which you can
+abide contented, and employed? Veronica has been spending two months
+in New York, with the family of one of my business friends. All that
+she brings back serves to embellish her quiet life, not to change it.
+Will it be so with you?"
+
+I wrote back, "No; but I am coming."
+
+He wrote again of changes in Surrey. Dr. Snell had gone, library and
+all, and a new minister, red hot from Andover, had taken his place. An
+ugly new church was building. His best ship, the _Locke Morgeson_,
+was at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, he had just heard. Her loss
+bothered him, but his letters were kinder than ever.
+
+I consulted with Alice about leaving the Academy. She approved
+my plan, but begged me not to leave her. I said nothing of my
+determination to that effect, feeling a strange disinclination toward
+owning it, though I persisted in repeating it to myself. I applied
+diligently to my reading, emulating Ben Somers in the regularity of
+my habits, and took long walks daily--a mode of exercise I had adopted
+since I had ceased my rides with Charles. The pale blue sky of spring
+over me, and the pale green grass under me, were charming perhaps;
+but there was the same monotony in them, as in other things. I did not
+frequent our old promenade, Silver Street, but pushed my walks
+into the outskirts of Rosville, by farms bordered with woods. My
+schoolmates, who were familiar with all the pleasant spots of the
+neighborhood, met me in groups. "Are you really taking walks like the
+rest of us?" they asked. "Only alone," I answered.
+
+I bade farewell at last to Miss Prior. We parted with all friendliness
+and respect; from the fact, possibly, that we parted ignorant of each
+other. It was the most rational relation that I had ever held with any
+one. We parted without emotion or regret, and I started on my usual
+walk.
+
+As I was returning I met Ben Somers. When he saw me he threw his cap
+into the air, with the information that he had done with his plans,
+and had ordered an indigestible supper, in honor of his resolve. As
+people had truly remarked, he could afford to be eccentric. He was
+tired of it; he had money enough to do without law. "Not as much as
+your cousin Morgeson, who can do without the Gospel, too."
+
+This was the first time that he had referred to Charles since that
+memorable night. Trifling as his words were, they broke into the
+foundations of my stagnant will, and set the tide flowing once more.
+
+"You went to Surrey."
+
+"I was there a few hours. Your father was not at home. He asked me
+there, you remember. I introduced myself, therefore, and was politely
+received by your mother, who sent for Veronica. She came in with an
+occupied air, her hands full of what I thought were herbs; but they
+were grasses, which she had been re-arranging, she said.
+
+"'You know my sister?' she asked, coming close, and looking at me with
+the most singular eyes that were ever on earth." He stopped a moment.
+"Not like yours, in the least," he continued. "'Cassandra is very
+handsome now, is she?'
+
+"'Why, Veronica,' said your mother, 'you astonish Mr. Somers.'
+
+"'You are not astonished,' she said with vehemence, 'you are
+embarrassed.'
+
+"'Upon my soul I am,' I replied, feeling at ease as soon as I had said
+so.
+
+"'Tell me, what has Cassandra been taught? Is Rosville suited to her?
+We are not.'
+
+"'Veronica!' said your mother again.
+
+"'Mother," and she shook the grasses, and made a little snow fall
+round her; 'what shall I say then? I am sure he knows Cassandra. What
+did you come here for?' turning to me again.
+
+"'To see you,' I answered foolishly.
+
+"'And has Cassandra spoken of me?' Her pale face grew paler, and an
+indescribable expression passed over it. 'I do not often speak of
+her.'
+
+"'She does not of you,' I was obliged to answer. And then I said I
+must go. But your mother made me dine with them. When I came away
+Veronica offered me her hand, but she sent no message to you. She has
+never been out of my mind a moment since."
+
+"You remember the particulars of the interview very well."
+
+"Why not?"
+
+"Would she bear your supervision?"
+
+"Forgive me, Cassandra. Have I not been making a hermit of myself,
+eating bread and meat by the ounce, for an expiation?"
+
+"How did it look there? Oh, tell me!"
+
+"You strange girl, have you a soul then? It is a grand place, where
+it has not been meddled with. I hired a man to drive me as far as any
+paths went, into those curving horns of land, on each side of Surrey
+to the south. The country is crazy with barrenness, and the sea mocks
+it with its terrible beauty."
+
+"You will visit us, won't you?"
+
+"Certainly; I intend to go there."
+
+"Do you know that I left school to-day?"
+
+"It is time."
+
+I hurried into the house, for I did not wish to hear any questions
+from him concerning my future. Charlotte, who was rolling up an
+umbrella in the hall, said it was tea-time, adding that Mr. Morgeson
+had come, and that he was in the dining-room. I went upstairs to leave
+my bonnet. As I pulled off my glove the ring on my finger twisted
+round. I took it off, for the first time since Charles had given it
+to me. A sense of haste came upon me; my hands trembled. I brushed
+my hair with the back of the brush, shook it out, and wound it into
+a loose mass, thrust in my comb and went down. Charlotte was putting
+candles on the tea table. Edward was on his father's knee; Alice was
+waiting by the tray.
+
+"Here--is--Cassandra," said Charles, mentioning the fact as if he
+merely wished to attract the child's attention.
+
+"Here--is--Cassandra," I repeated, imitating his tone. He started.
+Some devil broke loose in him, and looking through his eyes an
+instant, disappeared, like a maniac who looks through the bars of his
+cell, and dodges from the eye of his keeper. Jesse brought me a letter
+while we were at the table. It was from Helen. I broke its seal to see
+how long it was, and put it aside.
+
+"I am free, Alice. I have left the Academy, and am going to set up for
+an independent woman."
+
+"What?" said Charles; "you did not tell me. Did you know it, Alice?"
+
+"Yes; we can't expect her to be at school all her days."
+
+"Cassandra," he said suddenly, "will you give me the salt?"
+
+He looked for the ring on the hand which I stretched toward him.
+
+He not only missed that, but he observed the disregard of his wishes
+in the way I had arranged my hair. I shook it looser from the comb and
+pushed it from my face. An expression of unspeakable passion, pride,
+and anguish came into his eyes; his mouth trembled; he caught up a
+glass of water to hide his face, and drank slowly from it.
+
+"Are you going away again soon?" Alice asked him presently.
+
+"No."
+
+"To keep Cassandra, I intend to ask Mrs. Morgeson to come again. Will
+you write Mr. Morgeson to urge it?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"I shall ask them to give up Cass altogether to us."
+
+"You like her so much, do you, Alice?"
+
+His voice sounded far off and faint.
+
+Again I refrained from speaking my resolution of going home. I would
+give up thinking of it even! I felt again the tension of the chain
+between us. That night I ceased to dream of him.
+
+"My letter is from Helen, Alice," I said.
+
+"When did you see Somers?" Charles asked.
+
+"To-day. I have an idea he will not remain here long."
+
+"He is an amusing young man," Alice remarked.
+
+"Very," said Charles.
+
+Helen's letter was long and full of questions. What had I done? How
+had I been? She gave an account of her life at home. She was her
+father's nurse, and seldom left him. It was a dreary sort of business,
+but she was not melancholy. In truth, she felt better pleased with
+herself than she had been in Rosville. She could not help thinking
+that a chronic invalid would be a good thing for me. How was Ben
+Somers? How much longer should I stay in Rosville? It would know us no
+more forever when we left, and both of us would leave it at the same
+time. Would I visit her ever? They lived in a big house with a red
+front door. On the left was a lane with tall poplars dying on each
+side of it, up which the cows passed every night. At the back of it
+was a huge barn round which martins and pigeons flew the year through.
+It was dull but respectable and refined, and no one knew that she was
+tattooed on the arm.
+
+I treasured this letter and all she wrote me. It was my first
+school-girl correspondence and my last.
+
+Relations of Alice came from a distance to pay her a visit. There was
+a father, a mother, a son about twenty-one, and two girls who were
+younger. Alice wished that they had stayed at home; but she was polite
+and endeavored to make their visit agreeable. The son, called by his
+family "Bill," informed Charles that he was a judge of horseflesh, and
+would like to give his nags a try, having a high-flyer himself at
+home that the old gentleman would not hear of his bringing along. His
+actions denoted an admiration of me. He looked over the book I was
+reading or rummaged my workbox, trying on my thimble with an air of
+tenderness, and peeping into my needlebook. He told Alice that he
+thought I was a whole team and a horse to let, but he felt rather
+balky when he came near me, I had such a smartish eye.
+
+"What am I to do, marm?" asked Jesse one morning when Charles was
+away. "That ere young man wants to ride the new horse, and it is jist
+the one he mus'n't ride."
+
+"I will speak to Cousin Bill myself," she said.
+
+"He seems a sperrited young feller, and if he wants to break his neck
+it's most a pity he shouldn't."
+
+"I think," she said when Jesse had retired, "that Charles must be
+saving up that beast to kill himself with. He will not pull a chaise
+yet."
+
+"Has Charles tried him?"
+
+"In the lane in an open wagon. He has a whim of having him broken to
+drive without blinders, bare of harness; he has been away so of late
+that he has not accomplished it."
+
+Bill entered while we were talking, and Alice told him he must not
+attempt to use the horse, but proposed he should take her pair and
+drive out with me. I shook my head in vain; she was bent on mischief.
+He was mollified by the proposal, and I was obliged to get ready. On
+starting he placed his cap on one side, held his whip upright, telling
+me that it was not up to the mark in length, and doubled his knuckles
+over the reins. He was a good Jehu, but I could not induce him to
+observe anything along the road.
+
+"Where's Mr. Morgeson's mills?"
+
+We turned in their direction.
+
+"He is a man of property, ain't he?"
+
+"I think so."
+
+"He has prime horses anyhow. That stallion of his would bring a
+first-rate price if he wanted to sell. Do you play the piano?"
+
+"A little."
+
+"And sing?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"I have not heard you. Will you sing '_A place in thy memory,
+dearest,'_ some time for me?"
+
+"Certainly."
+
+"Are you fond of flowers and the like?"
+
+"Very fond of them."
+
+"So am I; our tastes agree. Here we are, hey?"
+
+Charles came out when he saw us coming over the bridge, and Bill
+pulled up the horses scientifically, giving him a coachman's salute.
+"You see I am quite a whip."
+
+"You are," said Charles.
+
+"What a cub!" he whispered me. "I think I'll give up my horses and
+take to walking as you have."
+
+On the way home Bill held the reins in one hand and attempted to take
+mine with the other, a proceeding which I checked, whereupon he was
+exceedingly confused. The whip fell from his clutch over the dasher,
+and in recovering it his hat fell off; shame kept him silent for the
+rest of the ride.
+
+I begged Alice to propose no more rides with Cousin Bill. That night
+he composed a letter which he sent me by Charlotte early the next
+morning.
+
+"Why, Charlotte, what nonsense is this?"
+
+"I expect," she answered sympathizingly, "that it is an offer of his
+hand and heart."
+
+"Don't mention it, Charlotte."
+
+"Never while I have breath."
+
+In an hour she told Phoebe, who told Alice, who told Charles, and
+there it ended. It was an offer, as Charlotte predicted. My first! I
+was crestfallen! I wrote a reply, waited till everybody had gone to
+breakfast, and slipping into his room, pinned it to the pincushion.
+In the evening he asked if I ever sang "_Should these fond hopes e'er
+forsake thee."_ I gave him the "_Pirate's Serenade_" instead, which
+his mother declared beautiful. I saw Alice and Charles laughing,
+and could hardly help joining them, when I looked at Bill, in whose
+countenance relief and grief were mingled.
+
+It was a satisfaction to us when they went away. Their visit was
+shortened, I suspected, by the representations Bill made to his
+mother. She said, "Good-by," with coldness; but he shook hands with
+me, and said it was all right he supposed.
+
+The day they went I had a letter from father which informed me that
+mother would not come to Rosville. He reminded me that I had been
+in Rosville over a year. "I am going home soon," I said to myself,
+putting away the letter. It was a summer day, bright and hot. Alice,
+busy all day, complained of fatigue and went to bed soon after tea.
+The windows were open and the house was perfumed with odors from
+the garden. At twilight I went out and walked under the elms, whose
+pendant boughs were motionless. I watched the stars as they came out
+one by one above the pale green ring of the horizon and glittered in
+the evening sky, which darkened slowly. I was coming up the gravel
+walk when I heard a step at the upper end of it which arrested me. I
+recognized it, and slipped behind a tree to wait till it should pass
+by me; but it ceased, and I saw Charles pulling off a twig of the
+tree, which brushed against his face. Presently he sprang round the
+tree, caught me, and held me fast.
+
+"I am glad you are here, my darling. Do you smell the roses?"
+
+"Yes; let me go."
+
+"Not till you tell me one thing. Why do you stay in Rosville?"
+
+The baby gave a loud cry in Alice's chamber which resounded through
+the garden.
+
+"Go and take care of your baby," I said roughly, "and not busy
+yourself with me."
+
+"Cassandra," he said, with a menacing voice, "how dare you defy me?
+How dare you tempt me?"
+
+I put my hand on his arm. "Charles, is love a matter of temperament?"
+
+"Are you mad? It is life--it is heaven--it is hell."
+
+"There is something in this soft, beautiful, odorous night that makes
+one mad. Still I shall not say to you what you once said to me."
+
+"Ah! you do not forget those words--'_I love you_.'"
+
+Some one came down the lane which ran behind the garden whistling an
+opera air.
+
+"There is your Providence," he said quietly, resting his hand against
+the tree.
+
+I ran round to the front piazza, just as Ben Somers turned out of the
+lane, and called him.
+
+"I have wandered all over Rosville since sunset," he said "and at last
+struck upon that lane. To whom does it belong?"
+
+"It is ours, and the horses are exercised there."
+
+       "'In such a night,
+  Troilus, methinks, mounted the Trojan walls,
+  And sighed his soul towards the Grecian tents,
+  Where Cressid lay that night.'"
+
+       '"In such a night,
+  Stood Dido with a willow in her hand,
+  Upon the wild sea banks, and waved her love
+  To come again to Carthage.'"
+
+"Talk to me about Surrey, Cassandra."
+
+"Not a word."
+
+"Why did you call me?"
+
+"To see what mood you were in."
+
+"How disagreeable you are! What is the use of venturing one's mood
+with you?"
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI.
+
+
+Alice called me to her chamber window one morning. "Look into the
+lane. Charles and Jesse are there with that brute. He goes very well,
+now that they have thrown the top of the chaise back; he quivered like
+a jelly at first."
+
+"I must have a ride, Alice."
+
+"Charles," she called. "Breakfast is waiting."
+
+"What shall be his name, girls?" he asked.
+
+"Aspen," I suggested.
+
+"That will do," said Alice.
+
+
+"Shall we ride soon?" I asked.
+
+"Will you?" he spoke quickly. "In a day or two, then."
+
+"Know what you undertake, Cass," said Alice.
+
+"She always does," he answered.
+
+"Let me go, papa," begged Edward.
+
+"By and by, my boy."
+
+"What a compliment, Cass! He does not object to venture you."
+
+He proposed Fairtown, six miles from Rosville, as he had business
+there. The morning we were to go proved cloudy, and we waited till
+afternoon, when Charles, declaring that it would not rain, ordered
+Aspen to be harnessed. I went into Alice's room tying my bonnet; he
+was there, leaning over the baby's crib, who lay in it crowing and
+laughing at the snapping of his fingers. Alice was hemming white
+muslin.
+
+"Take a shawl with you, Cass; I think it will rain, the air is so
+heavy."
+
+"I guess not," said Charles, going to the window. "What a nuisance
+that lane is, so near the garden! I'll have it plowed soon, and
+enclosed."
+
+"For all those wild primroses you value so?" she asked.
+
+"I'll spare those."
+
+Charlotte came to tell us that the chaise was ready.
+
+"Good-bye, Alice," he said, passing her, and giving her work a toss up
+to the ceiling.
+
+"Be careful."
+
+"Take care, sir," said Penn, after we were in the chaise, "and don't
+give way to him; if you do, he'll punish you. May be he feels the
+thunder in the air."
+
+We reached Fairtown without any indication of mischief from Aspen,
+although he trotted along as if under protest. Charles was delighted,
+and thought he would be very fast, by the time he was trained. It grew
+murky and hot every moment, and when we reached Fairtown the air was
+black and sultry with the coming storm. Charles left me at the little
+hotel, and returned so late in the afternoon that we decided not to
+wait for the shower. Two men led Aspen to the door. He pulled at his
+bridle, and attempted to run backward, playing his old trick of trying
+to turn his nostrils inside out, and drawing back his upper lip.
+
+"Something irritates him, Charles."
+
+"If you are afraid, you must not come with me. I can have you sent
+home in a carriage from the tavern."
+
+"I shall go back with you."
+
+But I felt a vague alarm, and begged him to watch Aspen, and not talk.
+Aspen went faster and faster, seeming to have lost his shyness, and my
+fears subsided. We were within a couple of miles of Rosville, when a
+splashing rain fell.
+
+"You must not be wet," said Charles. "I will put up the top. Aspen is
+so steady now, it may not scare him."
+
+"No, no," I said; but he had it up already, and asked me to snap the
+spring on my side. I had scarcely taken my arm inside the chaise when
+Aspen stopped, turned his head, and looked at us with glazed eyes;
+flakes of foam flew from his mouth over his mane. The flesh on his
+back contracted and quivered. I thought he was frightened by the
+chaise-top, and looked at Charles in terror.
+
+"He has some disorder," he cried. "Oh, Cassandra! My God!"
+
+He tried to spring at his head, but was too late, for the horse was
+leaping madly. He fell back on his seat.
+
+"If he will keep the road," he muttered.
+
+I could not move my eyes from him. How pale he was! But he did
+not speak again. The horse ran a few rods, leaped across a ditch,
+clambered up a stone wall with his fore-feet, and fell backward!
+
+Dr. White was in my room, washing my face. There was a smell of
+camphor about the bed. "You crawled out of a small hole, my child," he
+said, as I opened my eyes. It was quite dark, but I saw people at
+the door, and two or three at the foot of my bed, and I heard low,
+constrained talking everywhere.
+
+"His iron feet made a dreadful noise on the stones, Doctor!"
+
+I shut my eyes again and dozed. Suddenly a great tumult came to my
+heart.
+
+"Was he killed?" I cried, and tried to rise from the bed. "Let me go,
+will you?"
+
+"He is dead," whispered Dr. White.
+
+I laughed loudly.
+
+"Be a good girl--be a good girl. Get out, all of you. Here, Miss
+Prior."
+
+"You are crying, Doctor; my eyes feel dry."
+
+"Pooh, pooh, little one. Now I am going to set your arm; simple
+fracture, that's all. The blow was tempered, but you are paralyzed by
+the shock."
+
+"Miss Prior, is my face cut?"
+
+"Not badly, my dear."
+
+My arm was set, my face bandaged, some opium administered, and then
+I was left alone with Miss Prior. I grew drowsy, but suffered so from
+the illusion that I was falling out of bed that I could not sleep.
+
+It was near morning when I shook off my drowsiness and looked about;
+Miss Prior was nodding in an arm-chair. I asked for drink, and when
+she gave it to me, begged her to lie down on the sofa; she did not
+need urging, and was soon asleep.
+
+"What room is he in?" I thought. "I must know where he is."
+
+I sat up in the bed, and pushed myself out by degrees, keeping my eyes
+on Miss Prior; but she did not stir. I staggered when I got into the
+passage, but the cool air from some open window revived me, and I
+crept on, stopping at Alice's door to listen. I heard a child murmur
+in its sleep. He could not be there. The doors of all the
+chambers were locked, and I must go downstairs. I went into the
+garden-room--the door was open, the scent of roses came in and made me
+deadly sick; into the dining-room, and into the parlor--he was there,
+lying on a table covered with a sheet. Alice sat on the floor, her
+face hid in her hands, crying softly. I touched her. She started on
+seeing me. "Go away, Cassy, for God's sake! How came you out of bed?"
+
+"Hush! Tell me!" And I went down on the floor beside her. "Was he dead
+when they found us?"
+
+She nodded.
+
+"What was said? Did you hear?"
+
+"They said he must have made a violent effort to save you. The side
+of the chaise was torn. The horse kicked him after you were thrust out
+over the wheel. Or did you creep out?"
+
+I groaned. "Why did he thrust me out?"
+
+"What?"
+
+"Where is Aspen?"
+
+She pointed to the stable. "He had a fit. Penn says he has had one
+before; but he thought him cured. He stood quiet in the ditch after he
+had broken from the chaise."
+
+"Alice, did you love him?"
+
+"My husband!"
+
+A door near us opened, and Ben Somers and young Parker looked in. They
+were the watchers. Parker went back when he saw me; but Ben came in.
+He knelt down by me, put his arm around me, and said, "Poor girl!"
+Alice raised her tear-stained face, looking at me curiously, when
+he said this. She took hold of my streaming hair and pulled my head
+round. "Did _you_ love him?" Ben rose quickly and went to the window.
+
+"Alice!" I whispered, "you may or you may not forgive me, but I was
+strangely bound to him. And I must tell you that I hunger now for the
+kiss he never gave me."
+
+"I see. Enough. Go back to your room. I must stay by him till all is
+over."
+
+"I can't go back. Ben!"
+
+"What is it?"
+
+"Take me upstairs."
+
+Raising me in his arms, he whispered: "Leave him forever, body and
+soul. I am not sorry he is dead." He called Charlotte on the way, and
+with her he put me to back to bed. I asked him to let me see the dress
+they had taken off.
+
+"That is enough," I said, "Charles broke my arm."
+
+It was torn through the shoulder, and the skirt had been twisted like
+a rope. Ben made no reply, but bent over me and kissed me tenderly.
+All this time Miss Prior had slept the sleep of the just; but he had
+barely gone when she started up and said, "Did you call, my dear?"
+
+"No, it is day."
+
+"So it is; but you must sleep more."
+
+I could not obey, and kept awake so long that Dr. White said he
+himself should go crazy unless I slept.
+
+"Presently, presently," I reiterated; "and am I going home?"
+
+At last my mind went astray; it journeyed into a dismal world, and
+came back without an account of its adventures. While it was gone,
+my friends were summoned to witness a contest, where the odds were
+in favor of death. But I recovered. Whether it was youth, a good
+constitution, or the skill of Dr. White, no one could decide. It was a
+faint, feeble, fluttering return at first. The faces round me, mobile
+with life, wearied me. I was indifferent to existence, and was more
+than once in danger of lapsing into the void I had escaped.
+
+When I first tottered downstairs, he had been buried more than three
+weeks. It was a bright morning; the windows of the parlor, where
+Charlotte led me, were open. Little Edward was playing round the table
+upon which I had seen his father stretched, dead. I measured it with
+my eye, remembering how tall he looked. I would have retreated, when
+I saw that Alice had visitors, but it was too late. They rose, and
+offered congratulations. I was angry that there was no change in the
+house. The rooms should have been dismantled, reflecting disorder and
+death, by their perpetual darkness and disorder. It was not so. No
+dust had been allowed to gather on the furniture, no wrinkles or
+stains. No mist on the mirrors, no dimness anywhere. Alice was
+elegantly dressed, in the deepest mourning. I examined her with a
+cynical eye; her bombazine was trimmed with crape, and the edge of her
+collar was beautifully crimped. A mourning brooch fastened it, and
+she wore jet ear-rings. She looked handsome, composed, and contented,
+holding a black-edged handkerchief. Charlotte had placed my chair
+opposite a glass; I caught sight of my elongated visage in it. How
+dull I looked! My hair was faded and rough; my eyes were a pale,
+lusterless blue. The visitors departed, while I still contemplated my
+rueful aspect, and Alice and I were alone.
+
+"I want some broth, Alice. I am hungry."
+
+"How many bowls have you had this morning?"
+
+"Only two."
+
+"You must wait an hour for the third; it is not twelve o'clock."
+
+We were silent. The flies buzzed in and out of the windows; a great
+bee flew in, tumbled against the panes, loudly hummed, and after a
+while got out again. Alice yawned, and I pulled the threads out of the
+border of my handkerchief.
+
+"The hour is up; I will get your broth."
+
+"Bring me a great deal."
+
+She came back with a thin, impoverished liquid.
+
+"There is no chicken in it," I said tearfully.
+
+"I took it out."
+
+"How could you?" And I wept.
+
+She smiled. "You are very weak, but shall have a bit." She went for
+it, returning with an infinitesimal portion of chicken.
+
+"What a young creature it must have been, Alice!"
+
+She laughed, promising me more, by and by.
+
+"Now you must lie down. Take my arm and come to the sofa.
+
+"Not here; let us go into another room."
+
+"Come, then."
+
+"Don't leave me," I begged, after she had arranged me comfortably. She
+sat down by me with a fan.
+
+"What happened while I was ill?"
+
+She fanned rapidly for an instant, taking thought what to say.
+
+"I shot Aspen, a few days after."
+
+"With your own hand?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Good."
+
+"Penn protested, said I interfered with Providence. Jesse added, also,
+that what had happened was ordained, and no mistake, and then I sent
+them both away."
+
+"And I am going at last, Alice; father will be here again in a few
+days."
+
+"You did not recognize Veronica, when they came."
+
+"Was she here?"
+
+"Yes, and went the same day. What great tears rolled down her
+unmovable face, when she stood by your bed! She would not stay; the
+atmosphere distressed her so, she went back to Boston to wait for your
+father. I could neither prevail on her to eat, drink, or rest."
+
+"What will you do, Alice?"
+
+"Take care of the children, and manage the mills."
+
+"Manage the mills?"
+
+"I can. No wonder you look astonished," she said, with a sigh. "I am
+changed. When perhaps I should feel that I have done with life, I am
+eager to begin it. I have lamented over myself lately."
+
+"How is Ben?"
+
+"He has been here often. How strange it was that to him alone Veronica
+gave her hand when they met! Indeed, she gave him both her hands."
+
+"And he?"
+
+"Took them, bowing over them, till I thought he wasn't coming up
+again. I do not call people eccentric any more," she said, faintly
+blushing. "I look for a reason in every action. Tell me fairly, have
+you had a contempt for me--for my want of perception? I understand you
+now, to the bone and marrow, I assure you."
+
+"Then you understand more than I do. But you will remember that once
+or twice I attempted to express my doubts to you?"
+
+"Yes, yes, with a candor which misled me. But you are talking too
+much."
+
+"Give me more broth, then."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXII.
+
+
+I was soon well enough to go home. Father came for me, bringing Aunt
+Merce. There was no alteration in her, except that she had taken to
+wearing a false front, which had a claret tinge when the light struck
+it, and a black lace cap. She walked the room in speechless distress
+when she saw me, and could not refrain from taking an immense pinch of
+snuff in my presence.
+
+"Didn't you bring any flag-root, Aunt Merce?"
+
+"Oh Lord, Cassandra, won't anything upon earth change you?"
+
+And then we both laughed, and felt comfortable together. Her knitting
+mania had given way to one she called transferring. She brought a
+little basket filled with rags, worn-out embroideries, collars, cuffs,
+and edges of handkerchiefs, from which she cut the needle-work, to sew
+again on new muslin. She looked at embroidery with an eye merely to
+its capacity for being transferred. Alice proved a treasure to her,
+by giving her heaps of fine work. She and Aunt Merce were pleased with
+each other, and when we were ready to come away, Alice begged her to
+visit her every year. I made no farewell visits--my ill health was
+sufficient excuse; but my schoolmates came to bid me good-bye, and
+brought presents of needlebooks, and pincushions, which I returned by
+giving away yards of ribbon, silver fruit-knives, and Mrs. Hemans's
+poems, which poetess had lately given my imagination an apostrophizing
+direction. Miss Prior came also, with a copy of "Young's Night
+Thoughts," bound in speckled leather This hilarious and refreshing
+poem remained at the bottom of my trunk, till Temperance fished it
+out, to read on Sundays, in her own room, where she usually passed her
+hours of solitude in hemming dish-towels, or making articles called
+"Takers." Dr. Price came, too, and even the haughty four Ryders. Alice
+was gratified with my popularity. But I felt cold at heart, doubtful
+of myself, drifting to nothingness in thought and purpose. None saw my
+doubts or felt my coldness.
+
+I shook hands with all, exchanged hopes and wishes, and repeated the
+last words which people say on departure. Alice and I neither kissed
+nor shook hands. There was that between us which kept us apart.
+A hard, stern face was still in our recollection. We remembered a
+certain figure, whose steps had ceased about the house, whose voice
+was hushed, but who was potent yet.
+
+"We shall not forget each other," she said.
+
+And so I took my way out of Rosville. Ben Somers went with us to
+Boston, and stayed at the Bromfield. In the morning he disappeared,
+and when he returned had an emerald ring, which he begged me to wear,
+and tried to put it on my finger, where he had seen the diamond. I put
+it back in its box, thanking him, and saying it must be stored with
+the farewell needlebooks and pincushions.
+
+"Shall we have some last words now?"
+
+Aunt Merce slipped out, with an affectation of not having heard him.
+We laughed, and Ben was glad that I could laugh.
+
+"How do you feel?"
+
+"Rather weak still."
+
+"I do not mean so, but in your mind; how are you?"
+
+"I have no mind."
+
+"Must I give up trying to understand you, Cassandra?"
+
+"Yes, do. You'll visit Alice? You can divine her intentions. She is a
+good woman."
+
+"She will be, when she knows how."
+
+"What o'clock is it?"
+
+"Incorrigible! Near ten."
+
+"Here is father, and we must start."
+
+The carriage was ready; where was Aunt Merce?
+
+"Locke," she said, when she came in, "I have got a bottle of port for
+Cassandra, some essence of peppermint, and sandwiches; do you think
+that will do?"
+
+"We can purchase supplies along the road, if yours give out. Come, we
+are ready. Mr. Somers, we shall see you at Surrey? Take care, Cassy.
+Now we are off."
+
+"I shall leave Rosville," were Ben's last words.
+
+"What a fine, handsome young man he is! He is a gentleman," said Aunt
+Merce.
+
+"Of course, Aunt Merce."
+
+"Why of course? I should think from the way you speak that you had
+only seen young gentlemen of his stamp. Have you forgotten Surrey?"
+
+Father and she laughed. They could laugh very easily, for they were
+overjoyed to have me going home with them. Mother would be glad, they
+said. I felt it, though I did not say so.
+
+How soundly I slept that night at the inn on the road! A little after
+sunset, on the third day, for we traveled slowly, we reached the woods
+which bordered Surrey, and soon came in sight of the sea encircling it
+like a crescent moon. It was as if I saw the sea for the first time.
+A vague sense of its power surprised me; it seemed to express my
+melancholy. As we approached the house, the orchard, and I saw
+Veronica's window, other feelings moved me. Not because I saw familiar
+objects, nor because I was going home--it was the relation in which
+_I_ stood to them, that I felt. We drove through the gate, and saw
+a handsome little boy astride a window-sill, with two pipes in his
+mouth, "Papa!" he shrieked, threw his pipes down, and dropped on the
+ground, to run after us.
+
+"Hasn't Arthur grown?" Aunt Merce asked. "He is almost seven."
+
+"Almost seven? Where have the years gone?"
+
+I looked about. I had been away so long, the house looked diminished.
+Mother was in the door, crying when she put her arms round me; she
+could not speak. I know now there should have been no higher beatitude
+than to live in the presence of an unselfish, unasking, vital love. I
+only said, "Oh, mother, how gray your hair is! Are you glad to see me?
+I have grown old too!"
+
+We went in by the kitchen, where the men were, and a young girl with a
+bulging forehead. Hepsey looked out from the buttery door, and put
+her apron to her eyes, without making any further demonstration of
+welcome. Temperance was mixing dough. She made an effort to giggle,
+but failed; and as she could not cover her face with her doughy hands,
+was obliged to let the tears run their natural course. Recovering
+herself in a moment, she exclaimed:
+
+"Heavenly Powers, how you're altered! I shouldn't have known you. Your
+hair and skin are as dry as chips; they didn't wash you with Castile
+soap, I'll bet."
+
+"How you do talk, Temperance," Hepsey quavered.
+
+The girl with the bulging forehead laughed a shrill laugh.
+
+"Why, Fanny!" said mother.
+
+The hall door opened. "Here _she_ is," muttered this Fanny.
+
+"Veronica!"
+
+"Cassandra!"
+
+We grasped hands, and stared mutely at each other. I felt a
+contraction in the region of my heart, as if a cord of steel were
+binding it. She, at least, was glad that I was alive!
+
+"They look something alike now," Hepsey remarked.
+
+"Not at all," said Veronica, dropping my hand, and retreating.
+
+"Why, Arthur dear, come here!"
+
+He clambered into my lap.
+
+"Were you killed, my dear sister?"
+
+"Not quite, little boy."
+
+"Well; do you know that I am a veteran officer, and smoke my pipe,
+lots?"
+
+"You must rest, Cassy," said mother. "Don't go upstairs, though, till
+you have had your supper. Hurry it up, Temperance."
+
+"It will be on the table in less than no time, Miss Morgeson," she
+answered, "provided Miss Fanny is agreeable about taking in the
+teapot."
+
+I had a comfortable sense of property, when I took possession of my
+own room. It was better, after all, to live with a father and mother,
+who would adopt my ideas. Even the sea might be mine. I asked father
+the next morning, at breakfast, how far out at sea his property
+extended.
+
+"I trust, Cassandra, you will now stay at home," said mother; "I am
+tired of table duty; you must pour the coffee and tea, for I wish to
+sit beside your father."
+
+"You and Aunt Merce have settled down into a venerable condition. You
+wear caps, too! What a stage forward!"
+
+"The cap is not ugly, like Aunt Merce's; I made it," Veronica called,
+sipping from a great glass.
+
+"Gothic pattern, isn't it?" father asked, "with a tower, and a bridge
+at the back of the neck?"
+
+"This hash is Fanny's work, mother," said Verry.
+
+"So I perceive."
+
+"Hepsey is not at the table," I said.
+
+"It is her idea not to come, since I have taken Fanny. Did you notice
+her? She prefers to have her wait."
+
+"Who is Fanny?"
+
+"Her father is old Ichabod Bowles, who lives on the Neck. Last winter
+her mother sent for me, and begged me to take her. I could not refuse,
+for she was dying of consumption; so I promised. The poor woman died,
+in the bitterest weather, and a few days after Ichabod brought Fanny
+here, and told me he had done with womankind forever. Fanny was sulky
+and silent for a long time. I thought she never would get warm. If
+obliged to leave the fire, she sat against the wall, with her face hid
+in her arms. Veronica has made some impression on her; but she is not
+a good girl."
+
+"She will be, mother. I am better than I was."
+
+"Never; her disposition is hateful. She is angry with those who are
+better off than herself. I have not seen a spark of gratitude in her."
+
+"I never thought of gratitude," said Verry, "it is true; but why must
+people be grateful?"
+
+"We might expect little from Fanny, perhaps; she saw her mother die in
+want, her father stern, almost cruel to them, and soured by poverty.
+Fanny never had what she liked to eat or wear, till she came here,
+or even saw anything that pleased her; and the contrast makes her
+bitter."
+
+"She is proud, too," said Aunt Merce. "I hear her boasting of what she
+would have had if she had stayed at home."
+
+"She is a child, you know," said Verry.
+
+"A year younger than you are."
+
+"Where is the universal boy?"
+
+"Abolished," father answered. "Arthur is growing into that estate."
+
+"Papa, don't forget that I am a veteran officer."
+
+"Here, you rascal, come and get this nice egg."
+
+He slipped down, went to his father, who took him on his knee.
+
+"What shall I do first? the garden, orchard, village, or what?" I
+asked.
+
+"Gardens?" said Verry. "Have they been a part of your education?"
+
+"I like flowers."
+
+"Have you seen my plants?" Aunt Merce inquired.
+
+"I will look at them. How different this is from Rosville?"
+
+Then a pang cut me to the soul. The past whirled up, to disappear,
+leaving me stunned and helpless. Veronica's eye was upon me. I forced
+myself to observe her. The difference between us was plainer than
+ever. I was in my twentieth year, she was barely sixteen; handsome,
+and as peculiar-looking as when a child. Her straight hair was a vivid
+chestnut color. Her large eyes were near together; and, as Ben Somers
+said, the most singular eyes that were ever upon earth. They tormented
+me. There was nothing willful in them; on the contrary, when she
+was willful, she had no power over them; the strange cast was then
+perceptible. Neither were they imperious nor magnetic; they were
+_baffling_. She pushed her chair from the table, and stood by me
+quiet. Tall and slender, she stooped slightly, as if she were not
+strong enough to stand upright. Her dress was a buff-colored cambric,
+trimmed with knots of ribbon of the same color, dotted with green
+crosses. It harmonized with her colorless, fixedly pale complexion.
+I counted the bows of ribbon on her dress, and would have counted the
+crosses, if she had not interrupted me with, "What do you think of
+me?"
+
+"Do you ever blush, Verry?"
+
+"I grow paler, you know, when I blush."
+
+"What do you think of me?"
+
+"As wide-eyed as ever, and your eyebrows as black. Who ever saw light,
+ripply hair with such eyebrows? I see wrinkles, too."
+
+"Where?"
+
+"Round your eyes, like an opening umbrella."
+
+We dispersed as our talk ended, in the old fashion. I followed
+Aunt Merce to the flower-stand, which stood in its old place on the
+landing.
+
+"I have a poor lot of roses," she said, "but some splendid cactuses."
+
+"I do not love roses."
+
+"Is it possible? But Verry does not care so much for them, either.
+Lilies are her favorites; she has a variety. Look at this Arab lily;
+it is like a tongue of fire."
+
+"Where does she keep her flowers?"
+
+"In wire baskets, in her room. But I must go to make Arthur some
+gingerbread. He likes mine the best, and I like to please him."
+
+"I dare say you spoil him."
+
+"Just as you were spoiled."
+
+"Not in Barmouth, Aunt Merce."
+
+"No, not in Barmouth, Cassy."
+
+I went from room to room, seeing little to interest me. My zeal oozed
+away for exploration, and when I entered my chamber I could have said,
+"This spot is the summary of my wants, for it contains me." I must
+be my own society, and as my society was not agreeable, the more
+circumscribed it was, the better I could endure it. What a dreary
+prospect! The past was vital, the present dead! Life in Surrey must be
+dull. How could I forget or enjoy? I put the curtains down, and told
+Temperance, who was wandering about, not to call me to dinner. I
+determined, if possible, to surpass my dullness by indulgence. But
+underneath it all I could not deny that there was a specter, whose
+aimless movements kept me from stagnating. I determined to drag it up
+and face it.
+
+"Come," I called, "and stand before me; we will reason together."
+
+It uncovered, and asked:
+
+"Do you feel remorse and repentance?"
+
+"Neither!"
+
+"Why suffer then?"
+
+"I do not know why."
+
+"You confess ignorance. Can you confess that you are selfish,
+self-seeking--devilish?"
+
+"Are you my devil?"
+
+No answer.
+
+"Am I cowardly, or a liar?"
+
+It laughed, a faint, sarcastic laugh.
+
+"At all events," I continued, "are not my actions better than my
+thoughts?"
+
+"Which makes the sinner, and which the saint?"
+
+"Can I decide?"
+
+"Why not?"
+
+"My teachers and myself are so far apart! I have found a counterpart;
+but, specter, you were born of the union."
+
+My head was buried in my arms; but I heard a voice at my elbow--a
+shrill, scornful voice it was. "Are you coming down to tea, then?"
+
+Looking up, I saw Fanny. "Tea-time so soon?"
+
+"Yes, it is. You think nothing of time; have nothing to do, I
+suppose."
+
+And she clasped her hands over her apron--hands so small and thin that
+they looked like those of an old woman. Her hair was light and scanty,
+her complexion sallow, and her eyes a palish gray; but her features
+were delicate and pretty. She seemed to understand my thoughts.
+
+"You think I am stunted, don't you?"
+
+"You are not large to my eye."
+
+"Suppose you had been fed mostly on Indian meal, with a herring or a
+piece of salted pork for a relish, and clams or tautog for a luxury,
+as I have been, would you be as tall and as grand-looking as you are
+now? And would you be covering up your face, making believe worry?"
+
+"May be not. You may tell mother that I am coming."
+
+"I shall not say 'Miss Morgeson,' but 'Cassandra.' 'Cassandra
+Morgeson,' if I like."
+
+"Call me what you please, only tone down that voice of yours; it is
+sharper than the east wind."
+
+I heard her beating a tattoo on Veronica's door next. She had been
+taught to be ceremonious with her, at least. No reply was made, and
+she came to my door again. "I expect Miss Veronica has gone to see
+poor folks; it is a way _she_ has," and spitefully closed it.
+
+After tea mother came up to inquire the reason of my seclusion. My
+excuse of fatigue she readily accepted, for she thought I still looked
+ill. I had changed so much, she said, it made her heart ache to look
+at me. When I could speak of the accident at Rosville, would I tell
+her all? And would I describe my life there; what friends I had made;
+would they visit me? She hoped so. And Mr. Somers, who made them so
+hurried a visit, would he come? She liked him. While she talked, she
+kept a pitying but resolute eye upon me.
+
+"Dear mother, I never can tell you all, as you wish. It is hard
+enough for me to bear my thoughts, without the additional one that my
+feelings are understood and speculated upon. If I should tell you, the
+barrier between me and self-control would give way. You will see Alice
+Morgeson, and if she chooses she can tell you what my life was in her
+house. She knows it well."
+
+"Cassandra, what does your bitter face and voice mean?"
+
+"I mean, mother, all your woman's heart might guess, if you were not
+so pure, so single-hearted."
+
+"No, no, no."
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Then I understand the riddle you have been, one to bring a curse."
+
+"There is nothing to curse, mother; our experiences are not foretold
+by law. We may be righteous by rule, we do not sin that way. There was
+no beginning, no end, to mine."
+
+"Should women curse themselves, then, for giving birth to daughters?"
+
+"Wait, mother; what is bad this year may be good the next. You blame
+yourself, because you believe your ignorance has brought me into
+danger. Wait, mother."
+
+"You are beyond me; everything is beyond."
+
+"I will be a good girl. Kiss me, mother. I have been unworthy of you.
+When have I ever done anything for you? If you hadn't been my mother,
+I dare say we might have helped each other, my friendship and sympathy
+have sustained you. As it is, I have behaved as all young animals
+behave to their mothers. One thing you may be sure of. The doubt
+you feel is needless. You must neither pray nor weep over me. Have I
+agitated you?"
+
+"My heart _will_ flutter too much, anyway. Oh, Cassy, Cassy, why
+are you such a girl? Why will you be so awfully headstrong?" But she
+hugged and kissed me. As I felt the irregular beating of her heart,
+a pain smote me. What if she should not live long? Was I not a wicked
+fool to lacerate myself with an intangible trouble--the reflex of
+selfish emotions?
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIII.
+
+
+Veronica's room was like no other place. I was in a new atmosphere
+there. A green carpet covered the floor, and the windows had light
+blue silk curtains.
+
+"Green and blue together, Veronica?"
+
+"Why not? The sky is blue, and the carpet of the earth is green."
+
+"If you intend to represent the heavens and the earth here, it is very
+well."
+
+The paper on the wall was ash-colored, with penciled lines. She had
+cloudy days probably. A large-eyed Saint Cecilia, with white roses in
+her hair, was pasted on the wall. This frameless picture had a curious
+effect. Veronica, in some mysterious way, had contrived to dispose
+of the white margin of the picture, and the saint looked out from the
+soft ashy tint of the wallpaper. Opposite was an exquisite engraving,
+which was framed with dark red velvet. At the end of an avenue of
+old trees, gnarled and twisted into each other, a man stood. One hand
+grasped the stalk of a ragged vine, which ran over the tree near him;
+the other hung helpless by his side, as if the wrist was broken. His
+eyes were fixed on some object behind the trees, where nothing was
+visible but a portion of the wall of a house. His expression of
+concentrated fury--his attitude of waiting--testified that he would
+surely accomplish his intention.
+
+"What a picture!"
+
+"The foliage attracted me, and I bought it; but when I unpacked it,
+the man seemed to come out for the first time. Will you take it?"
+
+"No; I mean to give my room a somnolent aspect. The man is too
+terribly sleepless."
+
+A table stood near the window, methodically covered with labelled
+blank-books, a morocco portfolio, and a Wedgewood inkstand and vase.
+In an arch, which she had manufactured from the space under the garret
+stairs, stood her bed. At its foot, against the wall, a bunch of
+crimson autumn leaves was fastened, and a bough, black and bare, with
+an empty nest on it.
+
+"Where is the feminine portion of your furnishing?"
+
+"Look in the closet."
+
+I opened a door. What had formerly been appropriated by mother to
+blankets and comfortables, she had turned into a magazine of toilet
+articles. There were drawers and boxes for everything which pertained
+to a wardrobe, arranged with beautiful skill and neatness. She
+directed my attention to her books, on hanging shelves, within reach
+of the bed. Beneath them was a small stand, with a wax candle in a
+silver candlestick.
+
+"You read o' nights?"
+
+"Yes; and the wax candle is my pet weakness."
+
+"Have you put away Gray, and Pope, and Thomson?"
+
+"The Arabian Nights and the Bible are still there. Mother thought you
+would like to refurnish your room. It is the same as when we moved,
+you know."
+
+"Did she? I will have it done. Good-by."
+
+"Good-by."
+
+She was at the window now, and had opened a pane.
+
+"What's that you are doing?"
+
+"Looking through my wicket."
+
+I went back again to understand the wicket. It had been made, she
+said, so that she might have fresh air in all weathers, without
+raising the windows. In the night she could look out without danger of
+taking cold. We looked over the autumn fields; the crows were flying
+seaward over the stubble, or settling in the branches of an old fir,
+standing alone, midway between the woods and the orchard. The ground
+before us, rising so gradually, and shortening the horizon, reminded
+me of my childish notion that we were near the North Pole, and that
+if we could get behind the low rim of sky we should be in the Arctic
+Zone.
+
+"The Northern Lights have not deserted us, Veronica?"
+
+"No; they beckon me over there, in winter."
+
+"Do you never tire of this limited, monotonous view--of a few uneven
+fields, squared by grim stone walls?"
+
+"That is not all. See those eternal travelers, the clouds, that hurry
+up from some mysterious region to go over your way, where I never
+look. If the landscape were wider, I could never learn it. And the
+orchard--have you noticed that? There are bird and butterfly lives
+in it, every year. Why, morning and night are wonderful from these
+windows. But I must say the charm vanishes if I go from them. Surrey
+is not lovely." She closed the wicket, and sat down by the table. My
+dullness vanished with her. There might be something to interest me
+beneath the calm surface of our family life after all.
+
+"Veronica, do you think mother is changed? I think so."
+
+"She is always the same to me. But I have had fears respecting her
+health."
+
+Outside the door I met Temperance, with a clothes-basket.
+
+"Oh ho!" she said, "you are going the rounds. Verry's room beats all
+possessed, don't it? It is cleaned spick and span every three months.
+She calls it inaugurating the seasons. She is as queer as Dick's
+hatband. Have you any fine things to do up?"
+
+Her question put me in mind of my trunks, and I hastened to them, with
+the determination of putting my room to rights. The call to dinner
+interrupted me before I had begun, and the call to supper came before
+anything in the way of improvement had been accomplished. My mind
+was chaotic by bed-time. The picture of Veronica, reading by her wax
+candle, or looking through the wicket, collected and happy in her
+orderly perfection, came into my mind, and with it an admiration which
+never ceased, though I had no sympathy with her. We seemed as far
+apart as when we were children.
+
+I was eager for employment, promising to perform many tasks, but the
+attempt killed my purpose and interest. My will was nerveless, when I
+contemplated Time, which stretched before me--a vague, limitless sea;
+and I only kept Endeavor in view, near enough to be tormented.
+
+One day father asked me to go to Milford, and I then asked him for
+money to spend for the adornment of my room.
+
+"Be prudent," he replied. "I am not so rich as people think me.
+Although the _Locke Morgeson_ was insured, she was a loss. But you
+need not speak of this to your mother. I never worry her with my
+business cares. As for Veronica, she has not the least idea of the
+value of money, or care for what it represents."
+
+When we went into the shops, I found him disposed to be more
+extravagant than I was. I bought a blue and white carpet; a piece
+of blue and white flowered chintz; two stuffed chairs, covered with
+hair-cloth (father remonstrated against these), and a long mirror to
+go between the windows, astonishing him with my vanity. What I wanted
+besides I could construct myself, with the help of the cabinet maker
+in Surrey.
+
+In one of the shops I heard a familiar voice, which gave me a thrill
+of anger. I turned and saw Charlotte Alden, of Barmouth, the girl who
+had given me the fall on the tilt. She could not control an expression
+of surprise at the sight of the well-dressed woman before her. It was
+my dress that astonished her. Where could _I_ have obtained style?
+
+"Miss Alden, how do you do? Pray tell me whether you have collected
+any correct legends respecting my mother's early history. And do you
+tilt off little girls nowadays?"
+
+She made no reply, and I left her standing where she was when I began
+speaking. When we got out of town, my anger cooled, and I grew ashamed
+of my spitefulness, and by way of penance I related the affair to
+father. He laughed at what I said to her, and told me that he had long
+known her family. Charlotte's uncle had paid his addresses to mother.
+There might have been an engagement; whether there was or not, the
+influence of his family had broken the acquaintance. This explained
+what Charlotte said to me in Miss Black's school about mother's being
+in love.
+
+"You might have been angry with the girl, but you should not have felt
+hurt at the fact implied. Are you so young still as to believe that
+only those who love marry? or that those who marry have never loved,
+except each other?"
+
+"I have thought of these things; but I am afraid that Love, like
+Theology, if examined, makes one skeptical."
+
+We jogged along in silence for a mile or two.
+
+"Whether every man's children overpower him, I wonder? I am positively
+afraid of you and Veronica."
+
+"What do you mean?"
+
+"I am always unprepared for the demonstrations of character you and
+she make. My traditional estimate, which comes from thoughtfulness, or
+the putting off of responsibility, or God knows what, I find will not
+answer. I have been on my guard against that which everyday life might
+present--a lie, a theft, or a meanness; but of the undercurrent, which
+really bears you on, I have known nothing."
+
+"If you happen to dive below the surface, and find the roots of our
+actions which are fixed beneath its tide--what then? Must you lament
+over us?"
+
+"No, no; but this is vague talk."
+
+Was he dissatisfied with me? What could he expect? We all went our
+separate ways, it is true; was it that? Perhaps he felt alone. I
+studied his face; it was not so cheerful as I remembered it once, but
+still open, honest, and wholesome. I promised myself to observe his
+tastes and consult them. It might be that his self-love had never been
+encouraged. But I failed in that design, as in all others.
+
+"Much of my time is consumed in passing between Milford and Surrey,
+you perceive."
+
+"I will go with you often."
+
+According to habit, on arriving, I went into the kitchen. It was dusk
+there, and still. Temperance was by the fire, attending to something
+which was cooking.
+
+"What is there for supper, Temperance? I am hungry."
+
+"I spose you are," she answered crossly. "You'll see when it's on the
+table."
+
+She took a coal of fire with the tongs, and blew it fiercely, to
+light a lamp by. When it was alight, she set it on the chimney-shelf,
+revealing thereby a man at the back of the room, balancing his chair
+on two legs against the wail; his feet were on its highest round, and
+he twirled his thumbs.
+
+"Hum," he said, when he saw me observing him; "this is the oldest
+darter, is it?"
+
+"Yes," Temperance bawled.
+
+"She is a good solid gal; but I can't recollect her christened name."
+
+"It is Cassandra."
+
+"Why, 'taint Scriptur'."
+
+"Why don't you go and take off your things?" Temperance asked,
+abruptly.
+
+"I'll leave them here; the fire is agreeable."
+
+"There is a better fire in the keeping-room."
+
+"How are you, Mr. Handy?" father inquired, coming in.
+
+"I should be well, if my grinders didn't trouble me; they play the
+mischief o'nights. Have you heard from the _Adamant_, Mr. Morgeson?
+I should like to get my poor boy's chist. The Lord ha' mercy on him,
+whose bones are in the caverns of the deep."
+
+"Now, Abram, do shut up. Tea is ready, Mr. Morgeson. I'll bring in the
+ham directly," said Temperance.
+
+There was no news from the _Adamant_. I lingered in the hope of
+discovering why Mr. Handy irritated Temperance. He was a man of sixty,
+with a round head, and a large, tender wart on one cheek; the two
+tusks under his upper lip suggested a walrus. Though he was no beauty,
+he looked thoroughly respectable, in garments whose primal colors
+had disappeared, and blue woolen stockings gartered to a miracle of
+tightness.
+
+"Temperance," he said, "my quinces have done fust rate this year. I
+haint pulled 'em yet; but I've counted them over and over agin. But my
+pig wont weigh nothin' like what I calkerlated on. Sarved me right. I
+needn't have bought him out of a drove; if Charity had been alive, I
+shouldn't ha' done it. A man can't--I say, Tempy--a man _can't_ git
+along while here below, without a woman."
+
+She gave my arm a severe pinch as she passed with the ham, and I
+thought it best to follow her. Mother looked at her with a smile, and
+said: "Deal gently with Brother Abram, Temperance."
+
+"Brother be fiddlesticked!" she said tartly. "Miss Morgeson, _do_ you
+want some quinces?"
+
+"Certainly."
+
+"We'll make hard marmalade this year, then. You shall have the quinces
+to-morrow." And she retired with a softened face. I was told that
+Abram Handy was a widower anxious to take Temperance for a second
+helpmeet, and that she could not decide whether to accept or refuse
+him. She had confessed to mother that she was on the fence, and didn't
+know which way to jump. He was a poor, witless thing, she knew; but
+he was as good a man as ever breathed, and stood as good a chance
+of being saved as the wisest church-member that ever lived! Mother
+thought her inclined to be mistress of an establishment over which she
+might have sole control. Abram owned a house, a garden, and kept pigs,
+hens, and a cow; these were his themes of conversation. Mother could
+not help thinking he was influenced by Temperance's fortune. She was
+worth two thousand dollars, at least. The care of her wood-lot,
+the cutting, selling, or burning the wood on it, would be a supreme
+happiness to Abram, who loved property next to the kingdom of heaven.
+The tragedy of the old man's life was the loss of his only son, who
+had been killed by a whale a year since. The _Adamant_, the ship he
+sailed in, had not returned, and it was a consoling hope with Abram
+that his boy's chist might come back.
+
+"We heard of poor Charming Handy's death the tenth of September, about
+three months after Abram began his visits to Temperance," Veronica
+said.
+
+"Was his name Charming?" I asked.
+
+"His mother named him," Abram said, "with a name that she had picked
+out of Novel's works, which she was forever and 'tarnally reading."
+
+"What day of the month is it, Verry?"
+
+"Third of October."
+
+"What happened a year ago to-day?"
+
+"Arthur fell off the roof of the wood-house."
+
+"Verry," he cried, "you needn't tell my sister of that; now she knows
+about my scar. You tell everything; she does not. You have scars," he
+whispered to me; "they look red sometimes. May I put my finger on your
+cheek?"
+
+I took his hand, and rubbed his fingers over the cuts; they were not
+deep, but they would never go away.
+
+"I wish mine were as nice; it is only a little hole under my hair.
+Soldiers ought to have long scars, made with great big swords, and I
+am a soldier, ain't I, Cassy?"
+
+"Have I heard you sing, Cassy?" asked father. "Come, let us have some
+music."
+
+"'And the cares which infest the day,'" added Verry.
+
+I had scarcely been in the parlor since my return, though the fact had
+not been noticed. Our tacit compact was that we should be ignorant of
+each other's movements. I ran up to my room for some music, and, not
+having a lamp, stumbled over my shawl and bonnet and various bundles
+which somebody had deposited on the floor. I went down by the back
+way, to the kitchen; Fanny was there alone, standing before the fire,
+and whistling a sharp air.
+
+"Did you carry my bonnet and shawl upstairs?"
+
+"I did."
+
+"Will you be good enough to take this music to the parlor for me?"
+
+She turned and put her hands behind her. "Who was your waiter last
+year?"
+
+"I had one," putting the leaves under her arm; they fluttered to the
+floor, one by one.
+
+"You must pick them up, or we shall spend the night here, and father
+is waiting for me."
+
+"Is he?" and she began to take them up.
+
+"I am quite sure, Fanny, that I could punish you awfully. I am sick to
+try."
+
+She moved toward the door slowly. "Don't tell him," she said, stopping
+before it.
+
+"I'll tell nobody, but I am angry. Let us arrive."
+
+She marched to the piano, laid the music on it, and marched out.
+
+"By the way, Fanny," I whispered, "the bonnet and shawl are yours, if
+you need them."
+
+"I guess I do," she whispered back.
+
+When I returned to my room, I found it in order and the bundles
+removed.
+
+One day some Surrey friends called. They told me I had changed very
+much, and I inferred from their tone they did not consider the change
+one for the better.
+
+"How much Veronica has improved," they continued, "do not you think
+so?"
+
+"You know," she interrupted, "that Cassandra has been dangerously ill,
+and has barely recovered."
+
+Yes, they had heard of the accident, everybody had; Mr. Morgeson must
+be a loss to his family, a man in the prime of life, too.
+
+"The prime of life," Veronica repeated.
+
+She was asked to play, and immediately went to the piano. Strange
+girl; her music was so filled with a wild lament that I again fathomed
+my desires and my despair. Her eyes wandered toward me, burning with
+the fires of her creative power, not with the feelings which stung
+me to the quick. Her face was calm, white, and fixed. She stopped and
+touched her eyelids, as if she were weeping, but there were no tears
+in her eyes. They were in mine, welling painfully beneath the lids. I
+turned over the music books to hide them.
+
+"That is a singular piece," said one. "Now, Cassandra, will you favor
+us? We expect to find you highly accomplished."
+
+"I sang myself out before you came in."
+
+In the bustle of their going, Veronica stooped over my hand and kissed
+it, unseen. It was more like a sigh upon it than a kiss, but it swept
+through me, tingling the scars on my face, as if the flesh had become
+alive again.
+
+"Take tea with us soon, do. We do not see you in the street or at
+church. It must be dull for you after coming from a boarding-school.
+Still, Surrey has its advantages." And the doors closed on them.
+
+"Still, Surrey has its advantages," Veronica repeated.
+
+"Yes, the air is sleepy; I am going to bed."
+
+I made resolutions before I slept that night, which I kept, for I
+said, "Let the dead bury its dead."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIV.
+
+
+Helen's letters followed me. She had heard from Rosville all that had
+happened, but did not expatiate on it. Her letters were full of minute
+details respecting her affairs. It was her way of diverting me from
+the thoughts which she believed troubled me. "L.N." was expected soon.
+Since his last letter, she had caught herself more than once making
+inventories of what she would like to have in the way of a wardrobe
+for a particular occasion, which he had hinted at.
+
+I heard nothing from Alice, and was content that it should be so. Our
+acquaintance would be resumed in good time, I had no doubt. Neither
+did I hear from Ben Somers. He very likely was investing in another
+plan. Of its result I should also hear.
+
+My chief occupation was to drive with father. The wharves of Milford,
+the doors of its banks and shipping offices, became familiar. I
+witnessed bargains and contracts, and listened to talk of shipwrecks,
+mutinies, insurance cases, perjuries, failures, ruin, and rascalities.
+His private opinions, and those who sought him, were kept in the
+background; the sole relation between them was--Traffic. Personality
+was forgotten in the absorbed attention which was given to business.
+They appeared to me, though, as if pursuing something beyond Gain,
+which should narcotize or stimulate them to forget that man's life was
+a vain going to and fro.
+
+Mother reproached father for allowing me to adopt the habits of a man.
+He thought it a wholesome change; besides, it would not last. While
+I was his companion there were moments when he left his ledger for
+another book.
+
+"You never call yourself a gambler, do you, Locke?" mother asked.
+"Strange, too, that you think of Cassy in your business life instead
+of me."
+
+"Mary, could I break your settled habits. Cassy is afloat yet. I can
+guide her hither and yon. Moreover, with her, I dream of youth."
+
+"Is youth so happy?" we both asked.
+
+"We think so, when we see it in others."
+
+"Not all of us," she said. "You think Cassandra has no ways of her
+own! She can make us change ours; do you know that?"
+
+"May be."
+
+A habit grew upon me of consulting the sea as soon as I rose in the
+morning. Its aspect decided how my day would be spent. I watched it,
+studying its changes, seeking to understand its effect, ever attracted
+by an awful materiality and its easy power to drown me. By the shore
+at night the vague tumultuous sphere, swayed by an influence mightier
+than itself, gave voice, which drew my soul to utter speech for
+speech. I went there by day unobserved, except by our people, for I
+never walked toward the village. Mother descried me, as she would a
+distant sail, or Aunt Merce, who had a vacant habit of looking from
+all the windows a moment at a time, as if she were forever expecting
+the arrival of somebody who never came. Arthur, too, saw me, as he
+played among the rocks, waded, caught crabs and little fish, like all
+boys whose hereditary associations are amphibious. But Veronica never
+came to the windows on that side of the house, unless a ship was
+arriving from a long voyage. Then her interest was in the ship alone,
+to see whether her colors were half-mast, or if she were battered and
+torn, recalling to mind those who had died or married since the ship
+sailed from port; for she knew the names of all who ever left Surrey,
+and their family relations.
+
+Weeks passed before I had completed the furnishing of my room; I
+had been to Helen's wedding, and had returned, and it was still in
+progress. The ground was covered with snow. The sea was dark and rough
+under the frequent north wind, sometimes gray and silent in an icy
+atmosphere; sometimes blue and shining beneath the pale winter sun.
+The day when the room was ready, Fanny made a wood fire, which burned
+merrily, and encouraged the new chairs, tables, carpet, and curtains
+into a friendly assimilation; they met and danced on the round tops
+of the brass dogs. It already seemed to me that I was like the room.
+Unlike Veronica, I had nothing odd, nothing suggestive. My curtains
+were blue chintz, and the sofa and chairs were covered with the
+same; the ascetic aspect of my two hair-cloth arm-chairs was entirely
+concealed. The walls were painted amber color, and varnished. There
+were no pictures but the shining shadows. A row of shelves covered
+with blue damask was on one side, and my tall mirror on the other. The
+doors were likewise covered with blue damask, nailed round with brass
+nails. When I had nothing else to do I counted the nails. The wooden
+mantel shelf, originally painted in imitation of black marble, I
+covered with damask, and fringed it. I sent Fanny down for mother and
+Aunt Merce. They declared, at once, they were stifled; too many things
+in the room; too warm; too dark; the fringe on the mantel would catch
+fire and burn me up; too much trouble to take care of it. What was
+under the carpet that made it so soft and the steps so noiseless? How
+nice it was! Temperance, who had been my aid, arrived at this juncture
+and croaked.
+
+"Did you ever see such a stived-up hole, Mis Morgeson?"
+
+"I like it now," she answered, "it is so comfortable. How lovely this
+blue is!"
+
+"It's a pity she wont keep the blinds shut. The curtains will fade to
+rags in no time; the sun pours on 'em."
+
+"How could I watch the sea then?" I asked.
+
+"Good Lord! it's a mystery to me how you can bother over that salt
+water."
+
+"And the smell of the sea-weed," added Aunt Merce.
+
+"And its thousand dreary cries," said mother.
+
+"Do you like my covered doors?" I inquired.
+
+"I vow," Temperance exclaimed, "the nails are put in crooked! And I
+stood over Dexter the whole time. He said it was damned nonsense, and
+that you must be awfully spoiled to want such a thing. 'You get your
+pay, Dexter,' says I, 'for what you do, don't you?' 'I guess I do,'
+says he, and then he winked. 'None of your gab,' says I. I do believe
+that man is a cheat and a rascal, I vow I do. But they are all so."
+
+"In my young days," Aunt Merce remarked, "young girls were not allowed
+to have fires in their chambers."
+
+"In our young days, Mercy," mother replied, "_we_ were not allowed to
+have much of anything."
+
+"Fires are not wholesome to sleep by," Temperance added.
+
+"Miss Veronica never has a fire," piped Fanny, who had remained,
+occasionally making a stir with the tongs.
+
+"But she ought to have!" Temperance exclaimed vehemently. "I do
+wonder, Mis Morgeson, that you do not insist upon it, though it's none
+of my business."
+
+Father was conducted upstairs, after supper. The fire was freshly
+made; the shaded lamp on the table before the sofa and the easy-chair
+pleased him. He came often afterward, and stayed so long, sometimes,
+that I fell asleep, and found him there, when I woke, still smoking
+and watching the fire.
+
+Veronica looked in at bed-time. "I recognize you here," she said as
+she passed. But she came back in a few moments in a wrapper, with a
+comb in her hand, and stood on the hearth combing her hair, which was
+longer than a mermaid's. The fire was grateful to her, and I believe
+that she was surprised at the fact.
+
+"Why not have a fire in your room, Verry?"
+
+"A fire would put me out. One belongs in this room, though. It is the
+only reality here."
+
+"What if I should say you provoke me, perverse girl?"
+
+"What if you should?"
+
+She gathered up her hair and shook it round her face, with the same
+elfish look she wore when she pulled it over her eyes as a child. It
+made me feel how much older I was.
+
+"I do not say so, and I will not."
+
+"I wish you would; I should like to hear something natural from you."
+
+Fanny, coming in with an armful of wood, heard her. Instead of putting
+it on the fire, she laid it on the hearth, and, sitting upon it with
+an expression of enjoyment, looked at both of us with an expectant
+air.
+
+"You love mischief, Fanny," I said.
+
+"Is it mischief for me to look at sisters that don't love each other?"
+and, laughing shrilly, she pulled a stick from under her, and threw it
+on the fire.
+
+Veronica's eyes shot more sparks than the disturbed coals, for Fanny's
+speech enraged her. Giving her head a toss, which swept her hair
+behind her shoulders, she darted at Fanny, and picked her up from the
+wood, with as much ease as if it had been her handkerchief, instead of
+a girl nearly as heavy as herself. I started up.
+
+"Sit still," she said to me, in her low, inflexible voice, holding
+Fanny against the wall. "I must attend to this little demon. Do you
+dare to think," addressing Fanny with a gentle vehemence, "that what
+you have just said, is true of _me_? Are you, with your small, starved
+spirit, equal to any judgment against _her?_ I admire her; you do,
+too. I _love_ her, and I love you, you pitiful, ignorant brat."
+
+Her strength gave way, and she let her go.
+
+"All declarations in my behalf are made to third persons," I thought.
+
+"I do believe, Miss Veronica," said Fanny, who did not express any
+astonishment or resentment at the treatment she had received, "that
+you are going to be sick; I feel so in my bones."
+
+"Never mind your bones. Twist up my hair, and think, while you do it,
+how to get rid of your diabolical curiosity."
+
+"I have had nothing to do all my life," she answered, carefully
+knotting Verry's hair, "but to be curious. I never found out much,
+though, till lately"; and she cast her eyes in my direction.
+
+"Put her out, Cassandra," said Verry, "if you like to touch her."
+
+"I'll sweep the hearth, if you please, first," Fanny answered. "I am a
+good drudge, you know. Good-night, ladies."
+
+I followed Veronica, wishing to know if her room was uncomfortable.
+She had made slight changes since my visit to her. The flowers had
+been moved, the stand where the candle stood was covered with crimson
+cloth. The dead bough and the autumn leaves were gone; but instead
+there was a branch of waving grasses, green and fresh, and on the
+table was a white flower, in a vase.
+
+"It is freezing here, but it looks like summer. Is it design?"
+
+"Yes; I can't sit here much; still, I can read in bed, and write,
+especially under my new quilt, which you have not seen."
+
+It was composed of red, black, and blue bits of silk, and beautifully
+quilted. Hepsey and Temperance had made it for her.
+
+"How about the wicket, these winter nights?"
+
+"I drag the quilt off, and wrap it round me when I want to look out."
+
+We heard a bump on the floor, and Temperance appeared with warm bricks
+wrapped in flannel.
+
+"You know that I will not have those things," Verry said.
+
+"Dear me, how contrary you are! And you have not eaten a thing
+to-day."
+
+"Carry them out."
+
+Her voice was so unyielding, but always so gentle! Temperance was
+obliged to deposit the bricks outside the door, which she did with a
+bang.
+
+"I should think you might sleep in Cassandra's room; her bed is big
+enough for three."
+
+No answer was made to this proposition, but Verry said,
+
+"You may undress me, if you like, and stay till you are convinced I
+shall not freeze."
+
+"I've staid till I am in an ager. I might as well finish the night
+here, I spose."
+
+She called me after midnight, for she had not left Verry, who had been
+attacked with one of her mysterious disorders.
+
+"You can do nothing for her; but I am scared out, when she faints so
+dreadful; I don't like to be alone."
+
+Veronica could not speak, but she shook her head at me to go away.
+Her will seemed to be concentrated against losing consciousness; it
+slipped from her occasionally, and she made a rotary motion with
+her arms, which I attempted to stop, but her features contracted so
+terribly, I let her alone.
+
+"Mustn't touch her," said Temperance, whose efforts to relieve her
+were confined to replacing the coverings of the bed, and drawing her
+nightgown over her bosom, which she often threw off again. Her breath
+scarcely stirred her breast. I thought more than once she did not
+breathe at all. Its delicate, virgin beauty touched me with a holy
+pity. We sat by her bed in silence a long time, and although it was
+freezing cold, did not suffer. Suddenly she turned her head and
+closed her eyes. Temperance softly pulled up the clothes over her and
+whispered: "It is over for this time; but Lord, how awful it is! I
+hoped she was cured of these spells."
+
+In a few minutes she asked, "What time is it?"
+
+"It must be about eleven," Temperance replied; but it was nearly four.
+She dozed again, but, opening her eyes presently, made a motion toward
+the window.
+
+"There's no help for it," muttered Temperance, "she must go."
+
+I understood her, and put my arm under Verry's neck to raise her.
+Temperance wrapped the quilt round her, and we carried her to the
+window. Temperance pushed open the pane; an icy wind blew against us.
+
+"It is the winter that kills little Verry," she said, in a childlike
+voice. "God's breath is cold over the world, and my life goes. But the
+spring is coming; it will come back."
+
+I looked at Temperance, whose face was so corrugated with the desire
+for crying and the effort to keep from it, that for the life of me,
+I could not help smiling. As soon as I smiled I laughed, and then
+Temperance gave way to crying and laughing together. Veronica stared,
+and realized the circumstances in a second. She walked back to the
+bed, laughing faintly, too. "Go to bed, do. You have been here a long
+time, have you?"
+
+I left Temperance tucking the clothes about her, kissing her, and
+calling her "deary and her best child."
+
+I could not go to bed at once, for Fanny was on my hearth before the
+fire, which she had rekindled, watching the boiling of something.
+
+"She has come to, hasn't she?" stirring the contents of the kettle. "I
+knew it was going to be so with her, she was so mad with me. She is
+like the Old Harry before she has a turn, and like an angel after.
+I am fond of people who have their ups and downs. I have seen her so
+before. She asked me to keep the doors locked once; they are locked
+now. But I couldn't keep _you_ out. The doctor said she must have warm
+drinks as soon as she was better. This is gruel."
+
+"If it is done, away with you. Calamity improves you, don't it? You
+seem in excellent spirits."
+
+"First-rate; I can be somebody then."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXV.
+
+
+Before spring there were three public events in Surrey. A lighthouse
+was built on Gloster Point, below our house. At night there was a
+bridge of red, tremulous light between my window and its tower, which
+seemed to shorten the distance. A town-clock had been placed in the
+belfry of the new church in the western part of the village. Veronica
+could see the tips of its gilded hands from the top of her window, and
+hear it strike through the night, whether the wind was fair to bring
+the sound or not. She liked to hear the hours cry that they had gone.
+Soon after the clock was up, she recollected that Mrs. Crossman's
+dog had ceased to bark at night, as was his wont, and sent her a note
+inquiring about it, for she thought there was something poetical in
+connection with nocturnal noises, which she hoped Mrs. Crossman felt
+also. Fanny conveyed the note, and read it likewise, as Mrs. Crossman
+declared her inability to read writing with her new spectacles, which
+a peddler had cheated her with lately. She laughed at it, and sent
+word to Veronica that she was the curiousest young woman for her age
+that she had ever heard of; that the dog slept in the house of nights,
+for he was blind and deaf now; but that Crossman should get a new dog
+with a loud bark, if the dear child wanted it.
+
+A new dog soon came, so fierce that Abram told Temperance that people
+were afraid to pass Crossman's. She guessed it wasn't the dog the
+people were afraid of, but of their evil consciences, which pricked
+them when they remembered Dr. Snell.
+
+The third event was Mr. Thrasher's revival. It began in February, and
+before it was over, I heard the April frogs croaking in the marshy
+field behind the church. We went to all the meetings, except Veronica,
+who continued her custom of going only on Sunday afternoons. Mr.
+Thrasher endeavored to proselyte me, but he never conversed with her.
+His manner changed when he was at our house; if she appeared, the man
+tore away the mask of the minister. She called him a Bible-banger,
+that he made the dust fly from the pulpit cushions too much to suit
+her; besides, he denounced sinners with vituperation, larding his
+piety with a grim wit which was distasteful. He was resentful toward
+me, especially after he had seen her. It was needful, he said, from my
+influence in Surrey, that I should become an example, and asked me
+if I did not think my escape from sudden death in Rosville was an
+indication from Providence that I was reserved for some especial work?
+
+Surrey was never so evangelical as under his ministration, and it
+remained so until he was called to a larger field of usefulness, and
+offered a higher salary to till it. We settled into a milder theocracy
+after he left us. Mr. Park renewed his zeal, about this time, resuming
+his discussions; but mother paid little attention to what he said.
+There were days now when she was confined to her room. Sometimes I
+found her softly praying. Once when I went there she was crying aloud,
+in a bitter voice, with her hands over her head. She was her old
+self when she recovered, except that she was indifferent to practical
+details. She sought amusement, indeed, liked to have me with her to
+make her laugh, and Aunt Merce was always near to pet her as of old,
+and so we forgot those attacks.
+
+Abram Handy, inspired with religious fervor during the revival, was
+also inspired with the twin passion--love--to visit Temperance, and
+begged her, with so much eloquence, to marry him before his cow should
+calve, that she consented, and he was happy. He spent the Sunday
+evenings with her, coming after conference meeting, hymn-book in hand.
+She was angry and ashamed, if I happened to see them sitting in
+the same chair, and singing, in a quavering voice, "Greenland's Icy
+Mountains," and continued morose for a week, in consequence.
+
+"What will Veronica do without me?" she said. "I vow I wish Abram
+Handy would keep himself out of my way; who wants him?"
+
+"She will visit you, and so shall I."
+
+"Certain true, will you, really?"
+
+"If you will promise to return our visits, and leave Abram at home,
+for a week now and then."
+
+"Done. I can mend your things and look after Mis Morgeson. Your mother
+is not the woman she was, and you and Veronica haven't a mite of
+faculty. What you are all coming to is more than I can fathom."
+
+"Who will fill your place?"
+
+"I don't want to brag, but you wont find a soul in Surrey to come here
+and live as I have lived. You will have to take a Paddy; the Paddies
+are spreading, the old housekeeping race is going. Hepsey and I are
+the last of the Mohicans, and Hepsey is failing."
+
+She was right, we never found her equal, and when she went, in May,
+a Celtic dynasty came in. We missed her sadly. Verry refused to be
+comforted. Symptoms of disorganization appeared everywhere.
+
+In the summer Helen visited Surrey. Her enlivening gayety was the
+means of our uniting about her. She was never tired of Veronica's
+playing, nor of our society; so we must stay where she and the
+piano were. We trimmed the parlor with flowers every day. Veronica
+transferred some of her favorite books to the round table, and
+privately sent for a set of flower vases. When they came, she said we
+must have a new carpet to match them, and although mother protested
+against it, she was loud in her admiration when she saw the
+handsome white Brussels, thickly covered with crimson roses. Helen's
+introduction proved an astonishing incentive; we set a new value on
+ourselves. I never saw so much of Veronica as at that time; her health
+improved with her temper. She threw us into fits of laughter with her
+whimsical talk, never laughing herself, but enjoying the effect she
+produced. To please her, Helen changed her style of dress, and bought
+a dress at Milford, which Veronica selected and made. The trying on
+of this dress was the means of her discovering the letters on Helen's
+arm, which never ceased to be a source of interest. She asked to see
+them every day afterward, and touched them with her fingers, as if
+they had some occult power.
+
+"You think her strange, do you not?" I asked Helen.
+
+"She has genius, but will be a child always."
+
+"You are mistaken; she was always mature."
+
+"She stopped in the process of maturity long ago. It is her genius
+which takes her on. You advance by experience."
+
+"I shall learn nothing more."
+
+"Of course you have suffered immensely, and endured that which
+isolates you from the rest of us."
+
+"You are as wise as ever."
+
+"Well, I am married, you know, and shall grow no wiser. Marriage puts
+an end to the wisdom of women; they need it no longer."
+
+"You are nineteen years old?"
+
+"What is the use of talking to you? Besides, if we keep on we may tell
+secrets that had better not be revealed. We might not like each
+other so well; friendship is apt to dull if there is no ground for
+speculation left. Let us keep the bloom on the fruit, even if we know
+there is a worm at the core."
+
+I owed it to her that I never had any confidante. My proclivities were
+for speaking what I felt; but her strong common-sense influenced me
+greatly against it; her teaching was the more easy to me, as she never
+invaded my sentiments.
+
+Her visit was the occasion of our exchanging civilities with our
+acquaintances, which we neglected when alone. Tea parties were always
+fashionable in Surrey. Veronica went with us to one, given by our
+cousin, Susan Morgeson. She had taken tea out but twice, since she
+was grown, she told us, then it was with her friend Lois Randall, a
+seamstress. To this girl she read the contents of her blank-books,
+and Lois in her turn confided to Veronica her own compositions. Essays
+were her forte. We met her at Susan Morgeson's, and, as I never saw
+her without her having on some article given her by Veronica, this
+occasion was no exception. She wore an exquisitely embroidered purple
+silk apron, over a dull blue dress. I saw Verry's grimace when her
+eyes fell on it, and could not help saying, "I hope Lois's essays are
+better than her taste in dress."
+
+"She is an idiot in colors; but she admires what I wear so much that
+she fancies the same must become her."
+
+"As they become you?"
+
+"I make a study of dress--an anomaly must. It may be wicked, but what
+can I do? I love to look well."
+
+The dress she wore then was an India stuff, of linen, with a
+cream-colored ground, and a vivid yellow silk thread woven in stripes
+through it; each stripe had a cinnamon-colored edge. There were no
+ornaments about her, except a band of violet-colored ribbon round her
+head. When tea was brought in, she asked me in a whisper whether it
+was tea or coffee in the cup which was given her.
+
+"Why, Cass," said Helen, "are you making a wonderment because she
+does not know? It is strange that you have not known that she drinks
+neither."
+
+"What does she drink?"
+
+"Is it eccentric to drink milk?" Verry asked, swallowing the tea with
+an accustomed air. "I think this must be coffee, it stings my mouth
+so."
+
+"It is green tea," said Helen; "don't drink it, Verry."
+
+"Green tea," she said, in a dreamy voice. "We drank green tea ten
+years ago, in our old house; and I did not know it! Cassandra, do
+you remember that I drank four cups once, when mother had company? I
+laughed all night, and Temperance cried."
+
+She contributed her share toward entertaining, and invariably received
+the most attention. My indifference was called pride, and her reserve
+was called dignity, and dignity was more popular than pride.
+
+Before Helen went, Ben wrote me that he was going to India. It was a
+favorite journey with the Belemites. By the time the letter reached
+me he should be gone. Would I bear him in remembrance? He would not
+forget me, and promised me an Indian idol. In eighteen months he
+expected to be at home again; sooner, perhaps. P.S. Would I give
+his true regards to my sister? N.B. The property might be divided
+according to his grandfather's will, before his return, and he wanted
+to be out of the way for sundry reasons, which he hoped to tell me
+some day. I read the letter to Helen and Veronica. Helen laughed, and
+said "Unstable as water"; but Veronica looked displeased; she closed
+her eyes as if to recall him to mind, and asked Helen abruptly if she
+did not like him.
+
+"Yes; but I doubt him. With all his strength of character he has a
+capacity for failure."
+
+"I consider him a relation," I said.
+
+"_I_ do not own him," said Veronica.
+
+"At all events, he is not an affectionate one," Helen remarked. "You
+have not heard from him in a year."
+
+"But I knew that I should hear," I said.
+
+"We shall _see_ him," said Veronica, "again."
+
+I was dull after I received his letter. My youth grew dim; somehow
+I felt a self-pity. I found no chance to embalm those phases of
+sensation which belonged to my period, and I grew careless; Helen's
+influence went with her. The observances so vital to Veronica, so
+charming in her, I became utterly neglectful of. For all this a mad
+longing sometimes seized me to depart into a new world, which should
+contain no element of the old, least of all a reminiscence of what my
+experience had made me.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI.
+
+
+Alice Morgeson sent for Aunt Merce, asking her to fulfill the promise
+she had made when she was in Rosville.
+
+With misgivings she went, stayed a month, and returned with Alice. I
+felt a throe of pain when we met, which she must have seen, for she
+turned pale, and the hand she had extended toward me fell by her side;
+overcoming the impulse, she offered it again, but I did not take it. I
+had no evidence to prove that she came to Surrey on my account; but I
+was sure that such was the fact, as I was sure that there was a bond
+between us, which she did not choose to break, nor to acknowledge. She
+appeared as if expecting some explanation or revelation from me; but
+I gave her none, though I liked her better than ever. She was
+business-like and observant. Her tendencies, never romantic, were less
+selfish; it was no longer society, dress, housekeeping, which absorbed
+her, but a larger interest in the world which gave her a desire
+to associate with men and women, independent of caste. None of her
+children were with her; had it been three years earlier, she would not
+have left home without them. Her hair was a little gray, and a wrinkle
+or two had gathered about her mouth; but there was no other change.
+I was not sorry to have her go, for she paid me a close and quiet
+observation. At the moment of departure, she said in an undertone:
+"What has become of that candor of which you were so proud?" "I am
+more candid than ever," I answered, "for I am silent."
+
+"I understand you better, now that I have seen you _en famille."_
+
+"What do you think now?"
+
+"I don't think I know; the Puritans have much to answer for in
+your mother--" Turning to her she said, "My children, too, are so
+different."
+
+Mother gave her a sad smile, as Fanny announced the carriage, and they
+drove away.
+
+"No more visitors this year," said Veronica, yawning.
+
+"No agreeable ones, I fancy," I answered.
+
+"All the relations have had their turn for this year," remarked Aunt
+Merce. But she was mistaken; an old lady came soon after this to spend
+the winter. She lived but four miles from Surrey, but brought with her
+all her clothes, and a large green parrot, which her son had brought
+from foreign parts. Her name was Joy Morgeson; the fact of her being
+cousin to father's grandmother entitled her to a raid upon us at any
+season, and to call us "cousins." She felt, she said, that she must
+come and attend the meetings regular, for her time upon earth was
+short. But Joy was a hearty woman still, and, pious as she was,
+delighted in rough and scandalous stories, the telling of which gave
+her severe fits of repentance. She quilted elaborate petticoats for
+us, knit stockings for Arthur, and was useful. Mr. and Mrs. Elisha
+Peckham surprised us next. They arrived from "up country" and stayed
+two weeks. I did not clearly understand why they came before they
+went; but as they enjoyed their visit, it was of little consequence
+whether I did or not.
+
+Midwinter passed, and we still had company. There was much to do, but
+it was done without system. Mother or Aunt Merce detailed from their
+ordinary duties as keeper of the visitors, Fanny was for the first
+time able to make herself of importance in the family tableaux,
+and assumed cares no one had thought of giving her. She left the
+town-school, telling mother that learning would be of no use to her.
+The rights of a human being merely was what she wanted; she should
+fight for them; that was what paupers must do. Mother allowed her
+to do as she pleased. Her duties commenced with calling us up to
+breakfast _en masse_, and for once the experiment was successful,
+for we all met at the table. The dining-room was in complete order, a
+thing that had never happened early before; the rest of us missed the
+straggling breakfast which consumed so much time.
+
+"Whose doing is this?" asked father, looking round the table.
+
+"It is Fanny's," I answered, rattling the cups. "All the coffee to be
+poured out at once, don't agitate me."
+
+Fanny, bearing buckwheat cakes, looked proud and modest, as people do
+who appreciate their own virtues.
+
+"Why, Fanny," said the father, "you have done wonders; you are more
+original than Cassy or Verry."
+
+Her green eyes glowed; her aspect was so feline that I expected her
+hair to rise.
+
+"Father's praise pleases you more than ours," Verry said.
+
+"You never gave me any," she answered, marching out.
+
+Father looked up at Verry, annoyed, but said nothing. We paid no
+attention to Fanny's call afterward; but she continued her labors,
+which proved acceptable to him. Temperance told me, when she was with
+us for a week, that his overcoats, hats, umbrellas, and whips never
+had such care as Fanny gave them. He omitted from this time to ask us
+if we knew where his belongings were, but went to Fanny; and I noticed
+that he required much attendance.
+
+Temperance, who had arrived in the thick of the company, as she termed
+it, was sorry to go back to Abram. He _was_ a good man, she said; but
+it was a dreadful thing for a woman to lose her liberty, especially
+when liberty brought so much idle time. "Why, girls, I have quilted
+and darned up every rag in the house. He _will_ do half the housework
+himself; he is an everlasting Betty." She was cheerful, however, and
+helped Hepsey, as well as the rest of us.
+
+The guests did not encroach on my time, but it was a relief to have
+them gone and the house our own once more.
+
+I went to Milford again, almost daily, to feast my eyes on the bleak,
+flat, gray landscape. The desolation of winter sustains our frail
+hopes. Nature is kindest then; she does not taunt us with fruition.
+It is the luxury of summer which tantalizes--her long, brilliant,
+blossoming days, her dewy, radiant nights.
+
+Entering the house one March evening, when it was unusually still,
+I had reached the front hall, when masculine tones struck my ears. I
+opened the parlor door softly, and saw Ben Somers in an easy-chair,
+basking before a glowing fire, his luminous face set toward Veronica,
+who was near him, holding a small screen between her and the fire.
+"She is always ready," I thought, contemplating her as I would a
+picture. Her ruby-colored merino dress absorbed the light; she was
+a mass of deep red, except her face and hair, above which her silver
+crescent comb shone. Her slender feet were tapping the rug. She wore
+boots the color of her dress; Ben was looking at them. Mother was
+there, and in the background Aunt Merce and Fanny figured. I pushed
+the door wide; as the stream of cold air reached them, they looked
+toward it, and cried--"Cassandra!" Ben started up with extended hands.
+
+"I went as far as Cape Horn only, but I bought you the idol and lots
+of things I promised from a passing ship. I have been home a week, and
+I am _here_. Are you glad? Can I stay?"
+
+"Yes, yes," chorused the company, and I was too busy trying to get
+off my gloves to speak. Father came in, and welcomed him with warmth.
+Fanny ran out for a lamp; when she brought it, Veronica changed the
+position of her screen, and held it close to her face.
+
+"Did you have a cold ride, Locke?" asked mother, gazing into the
+fire with that expression of satisfaction we have when somebody beside
+ourselves has been exposed to hardships. It is the same principle
+entertained by those who depend upon and enjoy seeing criminals hung.
+
+Meanwhile my bonnet-strings got in a knot, which Fanny saw, and
+was about to apply scissors, when Aunt Merce, unable to bear the
+sacrifice, interfered and untied them, all present so interested in
+the operation that conversation was suspended. Presently Aunt Merce
+was called out, and was shortly followed by mother and Fanny. Ben
+stood before me; his eyes, darting sharp rays, pierced me through;
+they rested on the thread-like scars which marked my cheek, and which
+were more visible from the effect of cold.
+
+"Tattooed still," I said in a low voice, pointing to them.
+
+"I see"--a sorrowful look crossed his face; he took my hand and kissed
+it. Veronica, who had dropped the screen, met my glance toward her
+with one perfectly impassive. As they watched me, I saw myself as they
+did. A tall girl in gray, whose deep, controlled voice vibrated in
+their ears, like the far-off sounds we hear at night from woods or the
+sea, whose face was ineffaceably marked, whose air impressed with a
+sense of mystery. I think both would have annihilated my personality
+if possible, for the sake of comprehending me, for both loved me in
+their way.
+
+"What are you reading, father?" asked Veronica suddenly.
+
+"To-day's letters, and I must be off for Boston; would you like to
+go?"
+
+"My sister Adelaide has sent for you, Cassandra, to visit us," said
+Ben, "and will you go too, Veronica?"
+
+"Thanks, I must decline. If Cass should go--and she will--I may go to
+Boston."
+
+He looked at her curiously. "It would not be pleasant for you to
+attempt Belem. I hate it, but I feel a fate-impelling power in regard
+to Cassandra; I want her there."
+
+"May I go then?" I asked.
+
+"Certainly," father replied.
+
+"Please come out to supper," called Fanny. "We have something
+particular for you, Mr. Morgeson."
+
+We saw mother at the table, a book in her hand. She was finishing a
+chapter in "The Hour and the Man." Aunt Merce stood eyeing the dishes
+with the aspect of a judge. As father took his seat, near Veronica,
+Fanny, according to habit, stood behind it. With the most _degagé_
+air, Ben suffered nothing to escape him, and I never forgot the
+picture of that moment.
+
+We talked of Helen's visit--a subject that could be commented
+on freely. Veronica told Ben Helen's opinion of him; he reddened
+slightly, and said that such a sage could not be contradicted. When
+father remarked that the opinions of women were whimsical, Fanny gave
+an audible sniff, which made Ben smile.
+
+Soon after tea I met Veronica in the hall, with a note in her hand.
+She stopped and hesitatingly said that she was going to send for
+Temperance; she wanted her while Mr. Somers stayed.
+
+"Your forethought astonishes me."
+
+"She is a comfort always to me."
+
+"Do you stand in especial need of a comforter?"
+
+She looked puzzled, laughed, and left me.
+
+Temperance arrived that evening, in time to administer a scolding to
+Fanny.
+
+"That girl needs looking after," she said. "She is as sharp as a
+needle. She met me in the yard and told me that a man fit for a
+nobleman had come on a visit. 'It may be for Cass,' says she, 'and it
+may not be. I have my doubts.' Did you ever?" concluded Temperance,
+counting the knives. "There's one missing. By jingo! it has been
+thrown to the pigs, I'll bet."
+
+When Ben made a show of going, we asked him to stay longer. He said
+"Yes," so cordially, that we laughed. But it hurt me to see that he
+had forgotten all about my going to Belem. "I like Surrey so much,"
+he said, "and you all, I have a fancy that I am in the Hebrides,
+in Magnus Troil's dwelling; it is so wild here, so _naïve_. The
+unadulterated taste of sea-spray is most beautiful."
+
+"We will have Cass for Norna," said Verry; "but, by the way, it is you
+that must be of the fitful head; have you forgotten that she is going
+to Belem soon?"
+
+"I shall remember Belem in good time; no fear of my forgetting that
+ace--ancient spot. At least I may wait till your father goes to
+Boston, and we can make a party. You will be ready, Cassandra? I wrote
+Adelaide yesterday that you were coming, and mother will expect you."
+
+It often stormed during his visit. We had driving rains, and a gale
+from the southeast, oceanward, which made our sea dark and miry, even
+after the storm had ceased and patches of blue sky were visible.
+
+Our rendezvous was in the parlor, which, from the way in which Ben
+knocked about the furniture, cushions, and books, assumed an air which
+somehow subdued Veronica's love for order; she played for him, or they
+read together, and sometimes talked; he taught her chess, and then
+they quarreled. One day--a long one to me,--they were so much absorbed
+in each other, I did not seek them till dusk.
+
+"Come and sing to me," called Ben.
+
+"So you remember that I do sing?"
+
+"Sing; there is a spell in this weird twilight; sing, or I go out on
+the rocks to break it."
+
+He dropped the window curtains and sat by me at the piano, and I sang:
+
+  "I feel the breath of the summer night,
+      Aromatic fire;
+  The trees, the vines, the flowers are astir
+      With tender desire.
+
+  "If I were alone, I could not sing,
+      Praises to thee;
+  O night! unveil the beautiful soul
+      That awaiteth me!"
+
+"A foolish song," said Veronica, pulling her hair across her face.
+No reply. She glided to the flower-basket, broke a rosebud from its
+stalk, and mutely offered it to him. Whether he took it, I know not;
+but he rose up from beside me, like a dark cloud, and my eyes followed
+him.
+
+"Come Veronica," he whispered, "give me yourself. I love you,
+Veronica."
+
+He sank down before her; she clasped her hands round his head, and
+kissed his hair.
+
+"I know it," she said, in a clear voice.
+
+I shut the door softly, thinking of the Wandering Jew, went upstairs,
+humming a little air between my teeth, and came down again into the
+dining-room, which was in a blaze of light.
+
+"What preserves are these, Temperance?" I asked, going to the table.
+"Some of Abram's quinces?"
+
+"Best you ever tasted, since you were born."
+
+"Call Mr. Somers, Fanny," said mother. "Is Verry in the parlor, too?"
+
+"I'll call them," I said; "I have left my handkerchief there."
+
+"Is anything else of yours there?" said Fanny, close to my ear.
+
+Ben had pushed back the curtain, and was staring into the darkness;
+Veronica was walking to and fro on the rug.
+
+"Haven't I a great musical talent?" I inquired.
+
+"Am I happy?" she asked, coming toward me.
+
+Ben turned to speak, but Veronica put her hand over his mouth, and
+said:
+
+"Why should I be 'hushed,' my darling?"
+
+"Come to supper, and be sensible," I urged.
+
+The light revealed a new expression in Verry's face--an unsettled,
+dispossessed look; her brows were knitted, yet she smiled over and
+over again, while she seemed hardly aware that she was eating like an
+ordinary mortal. The imp Fanny tried experiments with her, by offering
+the same dishes repeatedly, till her plate was piled high with food
+she did not taste.
+
+The next day was clear, and mild with spring. Ben and I started for a
+walk on the shore. We were half-way to the lighthouse before he asked
+why it was that Veronica would not come with us.
+
+"She never walks by the shore; she detests the sea."
+
+"Is it so? I did not know that."
+
+"Do you mind that you know few of her tastes or habits? I speak of
+this as a general truth."
+
+"I am a spectacle to you, I suppose. But this sea charms me; I shall
+live by it, and build a house with all the windows and doors toward
+it."
+
+"Not if you mean to have Verry in it."
+
+"I do mean to have her in it. She shall like it. Are you willing to
+have me for a brother? Will you go to Belem, and help break the ice?
+_She_ could never go," and he began to skip pebbles in the water.
+
+"I will take you for a brother gladly. You are a fool--not for loving
+her, but all men are fools when in love, they are so besotted with
+themselves. But I am afraid of one fault in you."
+
+"Yes," he answered hurriedly, "don't I know? On my honor, I have
+tried; why not leave me to God? Didn't you leave yourself that way
+once?"
+
+"Oh, you are cruel."
+
+"Pardon me, dear Cass. I _must_ do well now, surely. Will you believe
+in me? Oh, do you not know the strength, the power, that comes to us
+in the stress of passion and duty?"
+
+"This is from _you_, Ben."
+
+"Never mind; I knew I wanted to marry her, when I saw her. I love her
+passionately," and he threw a pebble in the water farther than he had
+yet; "but she is so pure, so delicate, that when I approach her, in
+spite of my besottedness, my love grows lambent. That's not like me,
+you know," with great vehemence. "Will she never understand me?"
+
+His face darkened, and he looked so strangely intent into my eyes that
+I was obliged to turn away; he disturbed me.
+
+"Veronica probably will not understand you, but you must manage for
+yourself. As you have discerned, she and I are far apart. She is pure,
+noble, beautiful, and peculiar. I will have no voice between you."
+
+"You must, you do. We shall hear it if you do not speak. You have a
+great power, tall enchantress."
+
+"Certainly. What a powerful life is mine!"
+
+"You come to these shores often. Are you not different beside them?
+This colorless picture before us--these vague spaces of sea and
+land--the motion of the one--the stillness of the other--have you no
+sense that you have a powerful spirit?"
+
+"Is it power? It is pain."
+
+"Your gold has not been refined then."
+
+"Yes, I confess I have a sense of power; but it is not a spiritual
+sense."
+
+"Let us go back," he said abruptly.
+
+We mused by our footprints in the wet sand, as we passed them. We were
+told when we reached home that Veronica had gone on some expedition
+with Fanny. She did not return till time for supper, looking elfish,
+and behaving whimsically, as if she had received instructions
+accordingly. I fancied that the expression Ben regarded her with might
+be the Bellevue Pickersgill expression, it was so different from any
+I had seen. There was a haughty curiosity in his face; as she passed
+near him, he looked into her eyes, and saw the strange cast which made
+their sight so far off.
+
+"Veronica, where are you?" he asked.
+
+The tone of his voice attracted mother's regards; an intelligent
+glance was exchanged, and then her eyes sought mine. "It is not as you
+thought, mamma," I telegraphed. But Verry, not bringing her eyes back
+into the world, merely said, "I am here, am I not?" and went to shut
+herself up in her room. I found her there, looking through the wicket.
+
+"The buds are beginning to swell," she said. "I should hear small
+voices breaking out from the earth. I grow happy every day now."
+
+"Because the earth will be green again?" I asked, in a coaxing voice.
+
+She shut the wicket, and, looking in my face, said, "I will go down
+immediately." For some reason the tears came into my eyes, which she,
+taking up the candle, saw. "I am going to play," she said hurriedly,
+"come." She ran down before me, but turning, by the foot of the
+stairs, she pointed to the parlor door, and said, "Is he my husband?"
+
+"Answer for yourself. Go in, in God's name."
+
+Ben was chatting with father over the fire; he stretched out his hand
+to her, with so firm and assured an air, and looked so noble, that I
+felt a pang of admiration for him. She laid her hand in his a moment,
+passed on to the piano, and began to play divinely, drawing him to
+her side. Father peeled and twisted his cigar, as he contemplated them
+with a thoughtful countenance.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII.
+
+
+When we went to Boston we went to a new hotel, as Ben had advised,
+deserting the old Bromfield for the Tremont. It was dusk when we
+arrived, and tea was served immediately, in a large room full of
+somber mahogany furniture. Its atmosphere oppressed Veronica, who ate
+her supper in silence.
+
+"Charles Dickens is here, sir," said the waiter, who knew Ben. "Two
+models of the Curiosity Shop have just gone upstairs, sir. His room is
+right over here, sir."
+
+Veronica looked adoringly at the ceiling.
+
+"Then," said Ben, "our hunters are up from Belem. Anybody in from
+Belem, John?"
+
+"Oh yes, sir, every day."
+
+"I'll look them up," he said to us; but he returned soon, and begged
+us not to look at Dickens, if we had a chance.
+
+Veronica, with a sigh, gave him up, and lost a chance of being
+immortalized with that perpetual and imperturbable beefsteak, covered
+with "the blackest of all possible pepper," which was daily served to
+him.
+
+Father being out in pursuit of a cigar, Ben asked Veronica what she
+would do while he was in Belem.
+
+"Walk round this lion-clawed table."
+
+"I shall be gone from you."
+
+"Alas!"
+
+"Are we to part this way?"
+
+"Father," she cried, as he entered with a theater bill, "had I better
+marry this friend of Cassy's?"
+
+"Have you the courage? Do you know each other?"
+
+"Having known Cassandra so long, sir," began Ben, but was interrupted
+by Veronica's exclaiming, "We do not know each other at all. What is
+the use of making _that_ futile attempt? I am over eighteen, and do
+you know me, father?"
+
+"If I do not, it is because you have no shadow."
+
+"Shall I, then?" giving Ben a delicious smile. "I promise."
+
+"I promise, too, Veronica," heaven dawning in his eyes.
+
+"We will see about it," said father. "Now who will go to the theater?"
+
+We declined, but Ben signified his willingness to accompany him.
+
+We took the first morning train, so that father could return before
+evening, and ran through in the course of an hour the wooden suburbs
+of Belem, bordered by an ancient marsh, from which the sea had long
+retired. Taking a cab, we turned into Norfolk Street, at the head of
+which, Ben said, a mile distant, was his father's house. It was not
+a cheerful street, and when we stopped before an immense square,
+three-storied house, it looked still more gloomy! There was a gate on
+one side, with white wooden urns on the posts, that shut off a paved
+courtway. On each side of the street were houses of the same pattern,
+with the same gates. Down the paved court of the opposite house a
+coach pulled by two fat horses clattered, and as the coach turned we
+saw two old ladies inside, highly dressed, bowing and smiling at Ben.
+
+"The Miss Hiticutts--hundred thousand apiece."
+
+"Hundred thousand apiece," I echoed in an anguish of admiration, which
+made my father laugh and Ben scowl. A servant in a linen jacket opened
+the door. "Is it yourself, Mr. Ben?"
+
+"Open the parlor door, Murph. Where's my mother and my sister?"
+
+"Miss Somers is taking her exercise, sir, and Mrs. Somers is with
+the owld gentleman"; opening the door, with the performance of taking
+father's hat.
+
+"Sit down, Cassandra. I'll look up somebody."
+
+It was a bewildering matter where to go; the room, vast and dark, was
+a complete litter of tables and sofas. The tables were loaded with
+lamps, books, and knick-knacks of every description; the sofas were
+strewn with English and French magazines, novels, and papers. I went
+to the window, while father perched on the music stool.
+
+My attention was diverted to a large dog in the court, chained to
+a post near a pump, where a man was giving water to a handsome bay
+horse, at the same time keeping his eye on an individual who stood on
+a stone block, dressed in a loose velvet coat, a white felt hat,
+and slippers down at the heel. He had a coach whip in his hand--the
+handsomest hand I ever saw, which he snapped at the dog, who growled
+with rage. I heard Ben's voice in remonstrance; then a lazy laugh from
+velvet coat, who gave the dog a cut which made him bound. Ben, untying
+him, was overwhelmed with caresses. "Down, you fool! Off, Rash!"
+he said. "Look there," pointing to the window where I stood. The
+gentleman with the coach whip looked at me also. The likeness to
+Ben turned my suspicion into certainty that they were brothers. His
+disposition, I thought, must be lovely, judging from the episode with
+"Rash." I turned away, almost running against a lady, who extended her
+fingers toward me with a quick little laugh, and said:
+
+"How de do? Where's Ben, to introduce us properly?"
+
+"Here, mother," he said behind her, followed by the dog. "You were
+expecting Cassandra, my old chum; and Mr. Morgeson has come to leave
+her with us."
+
+"Certainly. Rash, go out, dear. Mr. Morgeson, I am sorry to say," she
+spoke with more politeness, "that Mr. Somers is confined to his room
+with gout. May I take you up?"
+
+"I have a short time to stay," looking at his watch and rising. "Do
+you consider the old school friendship between your son and Cassandra
+a sufficient reason for leaving her with you? To say nothing of the
+faint relationship which, we suppose, exists."
+
+"Of course, very happy; Adelaide expects her," she said vaguely. I saw
+at once that she had never heard a word of our being relations. Ben
+had managed nicely in the affair of my invitation to Belem. But I
+desired to remain, in spite of Mrs. Somers's reception.
+
+Mr. Somers was bolstered up in bed, in a flowered dressing gown, with
+a bottle of colchicum and a pile of Congressional reports on a stand
+beside him. His urbanity was extreme; it was evident that the gout was
+not allowed to interfere with his deportment, though the joints of
+his hands were twisted and knotty. He expatiated upon Ben's long
+ungratified wish for a visit from me, and thanked father for complying
+with it. He mentioned the memento of the miniature, and gave every
+particular of Locke Morgeson's early marriage, explaining the exact
+shade of consanguinity--a faint one. I glanced at Mrs. Somers, who
+sat remote, in the act of inspecting me, with an eye askance, which I
+afterward found was her mode of looking at those whom she doubted
+or disliked; it changed its expression, as it met mine, into one of
+haughty wonder, that said there could be no tie of blood between us.
+She irritated and embarrassed me. I tried to think of something
+to say, and uttered a few words, which were uncommonly trivial and
+awkward. Mr. Somers touched on politics. The door opened, and Ben's
+brother entered, with downcast eyes. Advancing to the footboard of the
+bed, he leaned his chin on its edge, looked at his father, and in a
+remarkably clear, ringing voice, said:
+
+"The check."
+
+Mr. Somers coughed behind his hand. "To-morrow will do, Desmond."
+
+"To-day will do."
+
+"Desmond," said Ben in a low voice, "you do not see Mr. Morgeson and
+Miss Morgeson. My brother, Cassandra."
+
+"Beg pardon, good-morning"; and he pulled off his hat with an air of
+grace which became him, though it was very indifferent. Mrs. Somers in
+a soft voice said: "Ring, Des, dear, will you?" He warned her with
+a satirical smile, and gave such a pull at the bell-rope that it came
+down. Her florid face flushed a deeper red, but he had gone. Father
+looked at his watch, and got up with alacrity.
+
+"You are to dine with us, at least, Mr. Morgeson."
+
+"I must return to Boston on account of my daughter, who is there
+alone."
+
+"Have you been remiss, Ben," said his father affectionately, "in not
+bringing her also?"
+
+"She would not come, of course, father."
+
+A tall, black-haired girl of twenty-five rushed in.
+
+"Why, Ben," she said, "you were not expected. And this is Miss
+Morgeson," shaking hands with me. "You will spend a month, won't
+you?" She put her chin in her hand, and scanned me with a cool
+deliberateness. "Pa, do you think she is like Caroline Bingham?"
+
+"Yes, so she is; but fairer. She is a great belle," nodding to me.
+
+"Do you _really_ think she looks like her, Somers?" said Mrs. Somers,
+in a tone of denial.
+
+"Certainly, but handsomer," Adelaide replied for him, without looking
+at her mother.
+
+"Would you like to go to your room?" she asked. "What a pretty dress
+this is!" taking hold of the sleeve, her chin in her hand still. "We
+will have some walks; Belem is nice for walking. Pa, how do you feel
+now?"
+
+She allowed me to go downstairs with father, without following, and
+sent Murphy in with wine and biscuit. I put my arms round his neck and
+kissed him, for I had a lonesome feeling, which I could not define at
+the last moment.
+
+"You will not stay long," he said; "there is something oppressive in
+this atmosphere."
+
+"Something artificial, is it? It must be the blood of the Bellevue
+Pickersgills that thickens the air."
+
+"Now," said Ben, with father's hat in his hand, "the time is up."
+
+Adelaide was at the door to take courteous leave of him, and Mrs.
+Somers bowed from the top of the stairs, revealing a pair of large
+ankles, whose base rested in a pair of shabby, pudgy slippers.
+Adelaide then took me to my room, telling me not to change my dress,
+but to come down soon, for dinner was ready. Hearing a bell, I hurried
+down to the parlor which we were in before, and waited for directions
+respecting the dinner. Adelaide came presently. "We are dining; come
+and sit next me," offering her arm. Mrs. Somers, Desmond, and a girl
+of fifteen were at the table. The latter had just come from school,
+I concluded, as a satchel of books hung at her chair. Murphy was
+removing the soup, and I derived the impression that I had been
+forgotten. While taking mine, they vaguely stared about till Murphy
+brought in the roast mutton, except Adelaide, who rubbed her teeth
+with a dry crust, making a feint of eating it. Desmond kept the
+decanter, occasionally swallowing a glassful.
+
+"What wine is that, Murphy?" Mrs. Somers asked. He hesitatingly
+answered, "I think it is the Juno, mum."
+
+"You stole the key from pa's room, Des," said the girl. He shook the
+carving-knife at her, at which gesture she said "Pooh!" and applied
+herself to the roast mutton with avidity. They all ate largely,
+especially the girl, whose wide mouth was filled with splendid teeth.
+Mrs. Somers made a motion with her glass for Murphy to bring her the
+wine, and pouring a teaspoonful, held it to her mouth, as if she were
+practicing drinking healths. Her hands were beautiful, too; they all
+had handsome hands, whose movements were graceful and expressive. When
+Ben arrived, Murphy set the dishes before him, and Adelaide began to
+talk in a lively, brilliant way. He did not ask for wine, but I saw
+him look toward it and Desmond. The decanter was empty. After the
+dessert, Mrs. Somers arose and we followed; but she soon left us, and
+we went to the parlor. The girl, taking a seat beside me, said: "My
+name is Ann Somers. I am never introduced; Adder, my sister, is in
+the way, you know. I dare say Ben never spoke of me to you. I am never
+spoken of, am never noticed. I have never had new dresses; yet pa is
+my friend, the dear soul."
+
+Adelaide looked upon her with the same superb indifference with which
+she regarded her mother and Desmond.
+
+"Would you like to go to your room?" she asked again. "You are too
+tired to take a walk, perhaps?"
+
+"Lord!" said Ann, "do let her do as she likes. Adder, don't be too
+disagreeable."
+
+I picked up my bonnet, which she took from me, and put on the top of
+her head as we went upstairs.
+
+"Murph must bring up your trunk," said Ann, opening the closet. "But
+there is no space to hang anything; the great Mogul's wardrobe stops
+the way."
+
+My chamber was stately in size and appointments. The afternoon sun
+shone in, where a shutter was open, behind the dull red curtains,
+and illuminated the portrait of a nimble old lady in a scarlet cloak,
+which hung near the gigantic curtained bed, over a vast chair, covered
+with faded green damask.
+
+"Grandmother Pickersgill," said Ann, who saw me observing the picture.
+Adelaide contemplated it also. "It was painted by Copley," she said,
+"Lord Lyndhurst afterwards. Grandfather entertained him, and he went
+to one of grandmother's parties; he complimented her on her beauty.
+But you see that she has not a handsome hand. Ours is the Pickersgill
+hand," and she spread her fingers like a fan. "She was a regular old
+screw," continued Ann, "and used to have mother's underclothes tucked
+to last for ever; she was a beast to servants, too."
+
+My trunk was brought in, which I unlocked and unpacked, while Adelaide
+opened a drawer in a great bureau.
+
+"Oh, you know it is full of Marm's fineries," said Ann, in a
+confidential tone; "I'll ring for Hannah." Adelaide busied herself in
+throwing the contents of the drawers on the floor. "There's her ball
+dresses," commented Ann, as a pink satin, trimmed with magnificent
+lace, tumbled out. "Old Carew brought the lace over for her."
+
+"Bring a basket, Hannah, and take these away somewhere, to some other
+closet of Mrs. Somers's."
+
+"That gold fringe, do you remember, Adder? She looked like an elephant
+with his howdah on when she wore it."
+
+Her impertinence inspired Adelaide, who joined her in a flow of
+vituperative wit at the expense of their mother and other relatives,
+incidentally brought in. Instead of being aghast, I enjoyed it, and
+was feverish with a desire to be as brilliant, for my vocabulary was
+deficient and my sense of inferiority was active during the whole
+of my visit in Belem. I blushed often, smiled foolishly, and was
+afflicted with a general apprehension in regard to _gaucherie_.
+
+I changed my traveling dress, as they were not inclined to leave me,
+with anxiety, for I was weak enough to wish to make an impression
+with my elegant bearing and appointments. Being so anatomized, I was
+oppressed with an indefinite discouragement. Their stealthy, sharp,
+selfish scrutiny brought out my failures. My dress seemed ill-made; my
+hair unbecomingly dressed; my best collar and ribbon, which I put on,
+were nothing to the lace I had just seen falling on the floor. When we
+descended it was twilight. Ann said she must study, and left us by the
+parlor fire. Adelaide lighted a candle, and took a novel, which she
+read reclining on a sofa. Reclining on sofas, I discovered, was a
+family trait, though they were all in a state of the most robust
+health, with the exception of Mr. Somers. I walked up and down the
+rooms. "They were fine once," said Ben, who appeared from a dark
+corner, "but faded now. Mother never changes anything if she can
+help it. She is a terrible aristocrat," he continued, in a low voice,
+"fixed in the ideas imbedded in the Belem institutions, which only
+move backward. We laugh, though, at everybody's claims but our own.
+You despised me for mentioning the Hiticutts' income; it was the
+atmosphere."
+
+"It amuses me to be here."
+
+"Of course; but stir up Adelaide, she is genuine; has fine sense, and
+half despises her life; but she knows no other, and is proud."
+
+"Let's go and find tea," she said, yawning, dropping her book. "Why
+don't that lazy Murph light the lamp? I wish pa was down to regulate
+affairs." No one was at the tea-table but Mrs. Somers.
+
+"Ben is very polite, don't you think so?" she said with her peculiar
+laugh, which made my flesh creep, as he pulled up a chair for me. Her
+voice made me dizzy, but I smiled. Ben was not the same in Belem,
+I saw at once, and no longer wondered at its influence, or at the
+vacillating nature of his plans and pursuits. Mrs. Somers gave me
+some tea from a spider-shaped silver tea-pot, which was related to a
+spider-shaped cream-jug and a spider-shaped sugar-dish. The polished
+surface of the mahogany table reflected a pair of tall silver
+candlesticks, and the plates, being of warped blue and white Chinese
+ware, joggled and clattered when we touched them. The tea was
+delicious; I said so, but Mrs. Somers deigned no answer. We were
+regaled with spread bread and butter and baked apples. Adelaide ate
+six.
+
+"We do not have your Surrey suppers," Ben remarked.
+
+"How should you know?" his mother asked. Ben's eyes looked violent
+and he bit his lips. Adelaide commenced speaking before her mother had
+finished her question, as if she only needed the spur of her voice to
+be lively and agreeable, _per contra_.
+
+"Hepburn must ask us to tea. Her jam and her gossip are wonderful.
+Aunt Tucker might ask us too, with housekeeper Beck's permission. I
+like tea fights with the old Hindoos. They like us too, Ben; we are
+the children of Hindoos also--superior to the rest of the world. There
+will be a party or two for this young person."
+
+"Parties be hanged!" he said. "Then we must have a rout here, and I
+hate 'em."
+
+"But we owe an entertainment," said Mrs. Somers. "I have been thinking
+of giving one as soon as Mr. Somers gets out."
+
+"I have no such idea," said Adelaide, with her back toward her mother.
+"We shall have no party until some one has been given to our young
+friend, Ben."
+
+Ben and I visited his father, who asked questions relative to the
+temperature, the water, and the dietetic qualities of Surrey. He was
+affable, but there was no nearness in his affability. He skated on
+the ice of appearances, and that was his vocation in his family. He
+fulfilled it well, but it was a strain sometimes. His family broke the
+ice now and then, which must have made him plunge into the depths
+of reality. I learned to respect his courage, bad as his cause was.
+Marrying Bellevue Pickersgill for her money, he married his master,
+and was endowed only with the privilege of settling her taxes. Simon
+Pickersgill, her father, tied up the main part of his money for his
+grandchildren. It was to be divided among them when the youngest son
+should arrive at the age of twenty-one--an event which took place, I
+supposed, while Ben was on his way to India. Desmond and an older son,
+who resided anywhere except at home, made havoc with the income. As
+the principal prospectively was theirs, or nearly the whole of it, why
+should they not dispose of that?
+
+At last Mr. Somers looked at his watch, a gentle reminder that it was
+time for us to withdraw. Adelaide was still in the parlor, lying on
+her favorite sofa contemplating the ceiling. I asked permission to
+retire, which she granted without removing her regards. In spite of my
+sound sleep that night, I was started from it by the wail of a young
+child. The strangeness of the chamber, and the continued crying,
+which I could not locate, kept me awake at intervals till dawn peeped
+through the curtains.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII.
+
+
+A few days after my arrival, some friends dined with Mrs. Somers. The
+daughters of a senator, as Ann informed me, and an ex-governor, or I
+should not have known this fact, for I was not introduced. The dinner
+was elaborate, and Desmond did the honors. With the walnuts one of the
+ladies asked for the baby.
+
+Mrs. Somers made a sign to Desmond, who pulled the bell-rope--mildly
+this time. An elderly woman instantly appeared with a child a few
+months old, puny and anxious-looking. Mrs. Somers took it from her,
+and placed it on the table; it tottered and nodded to the chirrups of
+the guests. Ben, from the opposite side of the table, addressed me by
+a look, which enlightened me. His voyage to India was useless, as the
+property would stand for twenty-one years more, lacking some months,
+unless Providence interposed. Adelaide was oblivious of the child,
+but Desmond thumped his glass on the mahogany to attract it, for its
+energies were absorbed in swallowing its fists and fretfully crying.
+When Murphy announced coffee in the parlor, the nurse took it away;
+and after coffee and sponge cake were served the visitors drove off.
+That afternoon some friends of Adelaide called, to whom she introduced
+me as "cousin." She gave graphic descriptions of them, after their
+departure. One had achieved greatness by spending her winters in
+Washington, and contracting a friendship with John C. Calhoun. Another
+was an artist who had painted an ideal head of her ancestor, Sir
+Roger de Roger, not he who had arrived some years ago as a weaver from
+Glasgow, but the one who had remained on the family estate. A third
+reviewed books and collected autographs.
+
+The next afternoon one of the Miss Hiticutts from across the way came,
+in a splendid camel's-hair shawl and a shabby dress. "How _is_ Mr.
+Somers?" she asked. "He is such a martyr."
+
+Here Mrs. Somers entered. "My dear Bellevue, you are worn out with
+your devotion to him; when have you taken the air?" She did not wait
+for a reply, but addressed Adelaide with, "This is your young friend,
+and where is my favorite, Mr. Ben, and little Miss Ann? Have you
+anything new? I went down to Harris yesterday to tell her she must
+sweep away her old trash of a circulating library, and begin with the
+New Regime of Novels, which threatens to overwhelm us."
+
+Adelaide talked slowly at first, and then soared into a region where
+I had never seen a woman--an intellectual one. Miss Hiticutt followed
+her, and I experienced a new pleasure. Mrs. Somers was silent, but
+listened with respect to Miss Hiticutt, for she was of the real Belem
+azure in blood as well as in brain; besides, she was rich, and would
+never marry. It was a Pickersgill hallucination to be attentive to
+people who had legacies in their power. Mrs. Somers had a bequested
+fortune already in hair rings and silver ware. While appearing to
+listen to Adelaide, her eyes wandered over me with speculation askant
+in them. Adelaide was so full of _esprit_ that I was again smitten
+with my inferiority, and from this time I felt a respect for her,
+which never declined, although she married an Englishman, who, too
+choleric to live in America, took her to Florence, where they settled
+with their own towels and silver, and are likely to remain, for her
+heart is too narrow to comprise any further interest in Belem.
+
+Miss Hiticutt chatted herself out, giving us an invitation to tea, for
+any day, including Ben and Miss Ann, who had not been visible since
+breakfast.
+
+April rains kept us indoors for several days. Ann refused to go to
+school. She must have a holiday; besides, pa needed her; she alone
+could take care of him, after all. Her mother said that she must go.
+
+"Who can make me, mum?"
+
+Desmond ordered the coach for her. When it was ready he put her in it,
+seated himself beside her, with provoking nonchalance, and carried her
+to school. Murphy, with his velvet-banded hat, left her satchel at the
+door, with a ceremonious air, which made Ann slap his cheek and call
+him an old grimalkin. But she was obliged to walk home in the rain,
+after waiting an hour for him to come back.
+
+Mr. Somers hobbled about his room, with the help of his cane, and said
+that he should be out soon, and requested Adelaide to put in order
+some book-shelves that were in the third story, for he wanted to
+read without confusion. We went there together, and sorted some odd
+volumes; piles of Unitarian sermons, bound magazines, political works,
+and a heap of histories. Ben found a seat on a bunch of books, pleased
+to see us together.
+
+"This is a horrid hole," he said. "I have not been up in this floor
+for ages. How do the shelves look?"
+
+A hiccough near us caused us to look toward the door.
+
+"It is only Des, in his usual afternoon trim," said Ben.
+
+She nodded, as he pushed open the door, thrusting in his head. "What
+the hell are you doing here? This region is sacred to Chaos and old
+Night," striking the panels, first one and then the other, with the
+tassels of his dressing-gown. No one answered him. Adelaide counted a
+row of books, and Ben whistled.
+
+"Damn you, Ben," he said, in a languid voice: "you never seem bored.
+Curse you all. I hate ye, especially that she-Calmuck yonder--that
+Siberian-steppe-natured, malachite-hearted girl, our sister."
+
+"Oh come away, Mr. Desmond. What are the poor things doing that you
+should harry them?" and the woman who had brought in the baby the day
+of the dinner laid her hands on him and pulled him away.
+
+"Sarah will never give him up," said Ben.
+
+"She swears there is good in him. I think he is a wretch," turning
+over the leaves of a book with her beautiful hand, such a hand as I
+had just seen beating the door--such a hand as clasped its fellow in
+Ben's hair. Adelaide was not embarrassed at my presence. She neither
+sought nor avoided my look. But Ben said, "You are thinking."
+
+"Is she?" And Adelaide raised her eyes.
+
+"You are all so much alike," I said.
+
+"You are right," she answered seriously. "Our grandfather--"
+
+"Confound him!" broke in Ben. "I wish he had never been born. Are
+you proud, Addie, of being like the Pickersgills? But I know you are.
+Remember that the part of us which is Pickersgill hates its like. I am
+off; I am going to walk."
+
+Adelaide coolly said, after he had gone, that he was very visionary,
+predicting changes that could not be, and determined to bring them
+about.
+
+"Why did he bring me here?" I asked, as if I were asking in a dream.
+
+"Ben's hospitality is genuine. He is like pa. Besides, you are related
+to us--on the Somers side, and are the first visitor we ever saw,
+outside of mother's connection. Do you not know, too, that Ben's
+friendship is very sincere--very strong?"
+
+"I begin to comprehend the Pickersgills," I remarked as if in a dream.
+"How words with any meaning glance off, when addressed to them. How
+impossible it is to return the impression they give. How incapable
+they are of appreciating what they cannot appropriate to the use of
+their idiosyncrasies."
+
+She gazed at me, as if she heard an abstract subject discussed, with a
+slight interest in her black eyes.
+
+"Are they vicious to the death?" I went on with this dream. "It is
+not fair--their overpowering personality--it is not fair to others. It
+overpowers me, though I know it is _all_ fallacious."
+
+"I am ignorant of Ethical Philosophy."
+
+"Miss Somers," said Murphy, knocking, "if Major Millard is below?"
+
+"I am coming."
+
+She smiled when she looked at me again. I stared at her with a
+singular feeling. Had I touched her, or had I made a fool of myself?
+
+"There is some nice gingerbread in the closet. Sha'n't I get you a
+piece?"
+
+I fell out of my dream.
+
+"Major Millard is an old beau. Come down and captivate him. He likes
+fair women."
+
+Declining the gingerbread, I accepted the Major. He was an old
+gentleman, in a good deal of highly starched linen, amusing himself
+by teazing Ann, who liked it, and paid him in impertinence. Adelaide
+played chess with him. Desmond sauntered in about nine, threw himself
+into a chair behind the sofa where I sat, and swung his arm over the
+back. The chessboard was put aside, and a gossipy conversation was
+started, which included Mrs. Somers, who was on a sofa across the
+room, but he did not join in it. I watched Mrs. Somers, as her fingers
+moved with her Berlin knitting, feeling more composed and settled as
+to my identity, in spite of my late outburst, than I had felt at
+any moment since my arrival in Belem. They were laughing at a funny
+description, which Ann was giving of a meeting she had witnessed
+between Miss Hiticutt and Mr. Pearsall, a gentleman lately arrived
+from China, after a twenty years' residence, with several lacs of
+rupees. Her delineation of Miss Hiticutt, who attempted to appear as
+she had twenty years before, was excellent. Ben, who was rolling and
+unrolling his mother's yarn, laughed till the tears ran, but Major
+Millard looked uneasy, as if he expected to be served _à-la_-Hiticutt
+by the satirical Ann after his departure. Before the laughter
+subsided, I heard a low voice at my ear, and felt a slight touch from
+the tip of a finger on my cheek.
+
+"How came those scars?"
+
+I brushed my cheek with my handkerchief, and answered, "I got them in
+battle."
+
+He left his chair, and walked slowly through the room into the dark
+front parlor. Major Millard took leave, and was followed by Mrs.
+Somers and Ann, neither of whom returned. As Ben stretched himself
+on his sofa with an air of relief, Desmond emerged from the dark and
+stood behind him, leaning against a column, with his hands in his coat
+pockets and his eyes searchingly fixed upon me. Ben, turning his head
+in my direction, sprang up so suddenly that I started; but Desmond's
+eyes did not move till Ben confronted him; then he gave him a haughty
+smile, and begged him to take his repose again.
+
+I went to the piano and ran my fingers over the keys.
+
+"Do you play? Can you sing?" asked Adelaide, rousing herself.
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Do sing. I never talk music; but I like it."
+
+"Some old song," said Ben.
+
+Singing
+
+  "Drink to me only with thine eyes,
+    And I will pledge with mine,"
+
+I became conscious that Desmond was near me. With a perfectly pure
+voice he joined in the song:
+
+  "The thirst that from the soul doth rise,
+    Doth ask a drink divine."
+
+As the tones of his voice floated through the room, I was where I saw
+the white sea-birds flashing between the blue deeps of our summer
+sea and sky, and the dark rocks that rose and dipped in the murmuring
+waves.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX.
+
+
+One pleasant afternoon Adelaide and I started on a walk. We must go
+through the crooked length of Norfolk Street, till we reached the
+outskirts of Belem, and its low fields not yet green; that was the
+fashionable promenade, she said. After the two o'clock dinner, Belem
+walked. All her acquaintances seemed to be in the street, so many bows
+were given and returned with ceremony. Nothing familiar was attempted,
+nothing beyond the courtliness of an artificial smile.
+
+Returning, we met Desmond with a lady, and a series of bows took
+place. Desmond held his hat in his hand till we had passed; his
+expression varied so much from what it was when I saw him last, at the
+breakfast table, he being in a desperate humor then, that it served me
+for mental comment for some minutes.
+
+"That is Miss Brewster," said Adelaide. "She is an heiress, and
+fancies Desmond's attentions: she will not marry him, though."
+
+"Is every woman in Belem an heiress?"
+
+"Those we talk about are, and every man is a fortune-hunter. Money
+marries money; those who have none do not marry. Those who wait hope.
+But the great fortunes of Belem are divided; the race of millionaires
+is decaying."
+
+"Is that Ann yonder?"
+
+"I think so, from that bent bonnet."
+
+It proved to be Ann, who went by us with the universal bow and
+grimace, sacrificing to the public spirit with her fine manners. She
+turned soon, however, and overtook us, proposing to make a detour
+to Drummond Street, where an intimate family friend, "Old Hepburn,"
+lived, so that the prospect of our going to tea with her might be made
+probable by her catching a passing glimpse of us; at this time
+she must be at the window with her Voltaire, or her Rousseau. The
+proposition was accepted, and we soon came near the house, which
+stood behind a row of large trees, and looked very dismal, with
+three-fourths of its windows barred with board shutters.
+
+"Walk slow," Ann entreated. "I see her blinking at us. She has not
+shed her satin pelisse yet."
+
+Before we got beyond it a dirty little girl came out of the gate, in
+a pair of huge shoes and a canvas apron, which covered her, to call us
+back. Mrs. Hepburn had seen us, and wished us to come in, wanting to
+know who Miss Adelaide had with her, and to talk with her. She ran
+back, reappearing again at the door, out of breath, and minus a shoe.
+As we entered a small parlor, an old lady in a black dress, with
+a deep cape, held out her withered hand, without rising from her
+straight-backed arm-chair, smiling at us, but shaking her head
+furiously at the small girl, who lingered in the door.
+
+"Mari, Mari," she called, but no Mari came, and the small girl took
+our shawls, for Mrs. Hepburn said we must stay, now that she had
+inveigled us inside her doors. Ann mimicked her at her back, but to
+her face behaved servilely. The name of Morgeson belonged to the early
+historical time of New England, Mrs. Hepburn informed me. I never
+knew it; but bowed, as if not ignorant. Old Mari must be consulted
+respecting the sweetmeats, and she went after her.
+
+"What an old mouser it is!" said Ann. "What unexpected ways she has!
+She scours Belem in her velvet shoes, to find out everybody's history.
+Don't you smell buttered toast?"
+
+"Your father is getting the best of the gout," said Mrs. Hepburn,
+returning. "How is Desmond? He may be the wickedest of you all, but
+I like him the best. I shall not throw away praise of him on you,
+Adelaide." And she looked at me.
+
+"He bows well," I said.
+
+"He resembles his mother, who was a great beauty. Mr. Somers was
+handsome, too. I was at a ball at Governor Flam's thirty years ago.
+Your mother was barely fifteen, then, Adelaide; she was just married,
+and opened the ball."
+
+She examined me all the while, with a pair of small, round eyes, from
+which the color had faded, but which were capable of reading me.
+
+Tea was served by candlelight, on a small table. Mrs. Hepburn kept
+her eyes on everything, talking volubly, and pulled the small, girl's
+ears, or pushed her by the shoulder, with faith that we were not
+observing her. The toast was well buttered, the sweetmeats were
+delicious, and the cake was heavenly, as Ann said. Mrs. Hepburn ate
+little, but told us a great deal about marriages in prospect and
+incomes which waxed or waned in consequence. When tea was over, she
+said to the small girl who removed the tea things, "On your life taste
+not of the cake or the sweetmeats; and bring me two sticks of wood,
+you huzzy." She arranged the sticks on a decaying fire, inside a high
+brass fender, pulled up a stand near the hearth, lighted two candles,
+and placed on it a pack of cards.
+
+"Some one may come, so that we can play."
+
+Meantime she dozed upright, walking, talking, and dozing again, like a
+crafty old parrot.
+
+"She has a great deal of money saved," Ann whispered behind a book.
+"She is over seventy. Oh, she is opening her puss eyes!"
+
+Adelaide mused, after her fashion, on the slippery hair-cloth sofa,
+looking at the dim fire, and I surveyed the room. Its aspect attracted
+me, though it was precise and stiff. An ugly Turkey carpet covered
+the floor; a sideboard was against the wall, with a pair of silver
+pitchers on it, and two tall vases, filled with artificial flowers,
+under glass shades. Old portraits hung over it. Upon one I fixed my
+attention.
+
+"That is the portrait of Count Rumford," Mrs. Hepburn said.
+
+"Can't we see the letters?" begged Ann. "And wont you show us your
+trinkets? It is three or four years since we looked them over."
+
+"Yes," she answered, good-humoredly; "ring the bell."
+
+An old woman answered it, to whom Mrs. Hepburn said, in a friendly
+voice, "The box in my desk." Adelaide and Ann said, "How do you
+do, Mari?" When she brought the box, Mrs. Hepburn unlocked it, and
+produced some yellow letters, which we looked over, picking out here
+and there bits of Parisian gossip, many, many years old. They were
+directed to Cavendish Hepburn, by his friend, the original of the
+portrait. But the letters were soon laid aside, and we examined
+the contents of the box. Old brooches, miniatures painted on
+ivory, silhouettes, hair rings, necklaces, ear-rings, chains, and
+finger-rings.
+
+"Did you wear this?" asked Ann with a longing voice, slipping an
+immense sapphire ring on her forefinger.
+
+"In Mr. Hepburn's day," she answered, taking up a small case, which
+she unfastened and gave me. It contained a peculiar pair of ear-rings,
+and a brooch of aqua-marina stones, in a setting perforated like a
+net.
+
+"They suit you. Will you accept such an old-fashioned ornament? Put
+the rings in; here Ann, fasten them."
+
+Ann glared at her in astonishment, and then at me, for the reason
+which had prompted so unexpected a gift.
+
+"Is it possible that I am to have them? Why do you give them to me?
+They are beautiful," I replied.
+
+"They came from Europe long ago," she said. "And they happen to suit
+you."
+
+                'Sabrina fair,
+  Under the glassy, cool, translucent wave,
+  In twisted braids of lilies knitting
+  The loose train of thy amber-dropping hair.'"
+
+"Those lines make me forgive Paradise Lost," said Adelaide.
+
+"They are very long, these ear-rings," Ann remarked.
+
+I put the brooch in the knot of ribbon I wore; Mrs. Hepburn joggled
+the white satin bows of her cap in approbation.
+
+The knocker resounded. "There is our partner," she cried.
+
+"It must be late, ma'am," said Adelaide; "and I suspect it is some one
+for us. You know we never venture on impromptu visits, except to you,
+and our people know where to send."
+
+"Late or not, you shall stay for a game," she said, as Ben came in,
+hat in hand, declaring he had been scouting for us since dark. Mrs.
+Hepburn snuffed the candles, and rang the bell. The small girl, with
+a perturbed air, like one hurried out of a nap, brought in a waiter,
+which she placed on the sideboard.
+
+"Get to bed," Mrs. Hepburn loudly whispered, looking over the waiter,
+and taking from it a silver porringer, she put it inside the fender,
+and then shuffled the cards.
+
+"Now, Ann, you may sit beside me and learn."
+
+"If it is whist, mum, I know it. I played every afternoon at Hampton
+last summer, and we spoiled a nice polished table, we scratched it so
+with our nails, picking up the cards."
+
+"Young people do too much, nowadays."
+
+I was in the shadow of the sideboard; Ben stood against it.
+
+"When have you played whist, Cassandra?" he asked in a low voice. "Do
+you remember?"
+
+"Is my name Cassandra?"
+
+"Have you forgotten that, too?"
+
+"I remember the rain."
+
+"It is not October, yet."
+
+"And the yellow leaves do not stick to the panes. Would you like to
+see Helen?"
+
+"Come, play with me, Ben," called Mrs. Hepburn.
+
+"Ann, try your skill," I entreated, "and let me off."
+
+"She can try," Mrs. Hepburn said sharply. "Don't you like games? I
+should have said you were by nature a bold gamester." She dealt the
+cards rapidly, and was soon absorbed in the game, though she quarreled
+with Ann occasionally, and knocked over the candlestick once. Adelaide
+played heroically, and was praised, though I knew she hated play.
+
+Two hours passed before we were released. The fire went out, the
+candles burnt low, and whatever the contents of the silver porringer,
+they had long been cold. When Mrs. Hepburn saw us determined to go,
+she sent us to the sideboard for some refreshment. "My caudle is
+cold," taking off the cover of the porringer. "Why, Mari, what is
+this?" she said, as the woman made a noiseless entrance with a bowl of
+hot caudle.
+
+"I knew how it would be," she answered, putting it into the hands of
+her mistress.
+
+"I am a desperate old rake, you mean, Mari. There, take your virtue
+off, you appall me."
+
+She poured the caudle into small silver tumblers, and gave them to us.
+"The Bequest of a Friend" was engraved on them. Her fingers were like
+ice, and her head shook with fatigue; but her voice was sprightly and
+her smile bright. Ann ate a good deal of sponge cake, and omitted the
+caudle, but I drank mine to the memory of the donor of the cup.
+
+"You know that sherry, Ben," and Mrs. Hepburn nodded him toward a
+decanter. He put his hand on it, and took it away. "None to-night,"
+he said. Mari came with our shawls, and we hastened away, hearing her
+shoot the bolt of the door behind us. Ben drew my arm in his, and the
+girls walked rapidly before us. It was a white, hazy night, and the
+moon was wallowing in clouds.
+
+"Let us walk off the flavor of Hep's cards," said Adelaide, "and go to
+Wolf's Point."
+
+"Do you wish to go?" he asked me.
+
+"Yes."
+
+Ann skipped. A nocturnal excursion suited her exactly.
+
+"You are not to have the toothache to-morrow, or pretend to be lame,"
+said Adelaide.
+
+"Not another hiss, Adder. _En avant!_"
+
+We passed down Norfolk Street, now dark and silent, and reached our
+house. A light was burning in a room in the third story, and a
+window was open. Desmond sat by it, his arms folded across his chest,
+smoking, and contemplating some object beyond our view. Ann derisively
+apostrophized him, under her breath, while Ben unlocked the court gate
+and went in after Rash, who came out quietly, and we proceeded. In
+looking behind me, I stumbled.
+
+"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you afraid?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Of what?"
+
+"The Prince of Darkness."
+
+"The devil lives a little behind us."
+
+"In you, too, then?"
+
+"In Rash. Look at him; he is bigger than Faust's dog, jumps higher,
+and is blacker. You can't hear the least sound from him as he gambols
+with his familiar."
+
+We left the last regular street on that side of the city, and entered
+a road, bordered by trees and bushes, which hid the country from us.
+We crept through a gap in it, crossed two or three spongy fields,
+and ascended a hill, reaching an abrupt edge of the rocks, over whose
+earthy crest we walked. Below it I saw a strip of the sea, hemmed in
+on all sides, for the light was too vague for me to see its narrow
+outlet. It looked milky, misty, and uncertain; the predominant shores
+stifled its voice, if it ever had one. Adelaide and Ann crouched
+over the edge of the rock, reciting, in a chanting tone, from a poem
+beginning:
+
+  "The river of thy thoughts must keep
+  its solemn course too still and deep
+  For idle eyes to see."
+
+Their false intonation of voice and the wordy spirit of the poem
+convinced me that poetry with them was an artificial taste. I turned
+away. The dark earth and the rolling sky were better. Ben followed.
+
+"I hope Veronica's letter will come to-morrow," he said with a groan.
+
+"Veronica! Why Veronica?"
+
+"Don't torment me."
+
+"She writes letters seldom."
+
+"I have written her."
+
+"She has never written me."
+
+"It might be the means of revealing you to each other to do so."
+
+"Ben, your native air is deleterious."
+
+"You laugh. I feel what you say. I do not attempt to play the
+missionary at home, for my field is not here."
+
+"You were wise not to bring Veronica, I see already."
+
+"She would see what I hate myself for."
+
+"One may venture farther with a friend than a lover."
+
+"I thought that _you_ might understand the results of my associations.
+Curse them all! Come, girls, we must go back."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX.
+
+
+I took a cold that night. Belem was damp always, but its midnight damp
+was worse than any other. Mrs. Somers sent me medicine. Adelaide asked
+me, with an air of contemplation, what made me sick, and felt her own
+pulse. Ann criticised my nightgown ruffles, and accused me of wearing
+imitation lace; but nursing was her forte, and she stayed by me,
+annoying me by a frequent beating up of my pillow, and the bringing
+in of bowls of strange mixtures for me to swallow, which she persuaded
+the cook to make and her father to taste.
+
+Before I left my room, Mrs. Somers came to see me.
+
+"You are about well, I hear," she said, in a cold voice.
+
+I felt as if I had been shamming sickness.
+
+"I thought you were in remarkable health, your frame is so large."
+
+Adelaide was there, and answered for me. "You _are_ delicate. It must
+be because you do not take care of yourself."
+
+"Wolf's Point to be avoided, perhaps!"
+
+"I have walked to Wolf's Point for fifteen years, night and day, many
+times."
+
+"Mr. Munster's man left this note for you," her mother said, handing
+it to her.
+
+She read an invitation from Miss Munster, a cousin, to a small party.
+
+"You will not be able to go," Mrs. Somers remarked to me.
+
+"You will go," Adelaide said; "it is an attention to you altogether."
+
+She never replied to her mother, never asked her any questions, so
+that talking between them was a one-sided affair.
+
+"Let us go out shopping, Adelaide; I want some lace to wear," I
+begged.
+
+Mrs. Somers looked into her drawers, out of which Adelaide had thrust
+her finery, and found mine, but said nothing.
+
+"We are going to a party, Ann. Thanks to your messes and your
+nursing," as I passed her in the hall.
+
+"Where is your evening dress?"
+
+"Pinned in a napkin--like my talent."
+
+"Old Cousin Munster, the pirate, who made his money in the opium
+trade, has good things in his house. I suppose," with a coquettish
+air, "that you will see Ned Munster; he _would_ walk to the door with
+me to-day. He wishes me out, I know."
+
+We consumed that evening in talking of dress. Adelaide showed me her
+camel's-hair scarfs which Desmond had brought, and her dresses. Ann
+tried them all on, walking up and down, and standing tiptoe before the
+glass, while I trimmed a handkerchief with the lace I had purchased. I
+unfolded my dress after they were gone, with a dubious mind. It was
+a heavy white silk, with a blue satin stripe. It might be too
+old-fashioned, for it belonged to mother, who would never wear it.
+The sleeves were puffed with bands of blue velvet, and the waist was
+covered with a berthé of the same. It must do, however, for I had no
+other.
+
+We were to go at nine. Adelaide came to my room dressed, and with
+her hair arranged exactly like mine. She looked well, in spite of her
+Mongolic face.
+
+"Pa wants to see us in his room; he has gone to bed."
+
+"Wait a moment," I begged. I took my hair down, unbraided it, brushed
+it out of curl as much as I could, twisted it into a loose mass,
+through which I stuck pins enough to hold it, bound a narrow fillet of
+red velvet round my head, and ran after her.
+
+"That is much better," she said; "you are entirely changed." Desmond
+was there, in his usual careless dress, hanging over the footboard of
+the bed, and Ann was huddled on the outside. Mrs. Somers was reading.
+
+"Pa," said Ann, "just think of Old Hepburn's giving her a pair of
+lovely ear-rings."
+
+"Did she? Where are they?" asked Mrs. Somers.
+
+"I am not surprised," said Mr. Somers. "Mrs. Hepburn knows where to
+bestow. Why not wear them?"
+
+"I'll get them," said Ann.
+
+Mr. Somers continued his compliments. He thought there was a pleasing
+contrast between Adelaide and myself, referred to Diana, mentioned
+that my hair was remarkably thick, and proceeded with a dissertation
+on the growth and decay of the hair, when she returned with the
+ear-rings.
+
+"It is too dark here," she said.
+
+Desmond, who had remained silent, took the candle, which Mrs. Somers
+was reading by, and held it for Ann, close to my face. The operation
+was over, but the candle was not taken away till Mrs. Somers asked for
+it sharply.
+
+"I dare say," murmured Mr. Somers, who was growing drowsy, "that Mrs.
+Hepburn wore them some night, when she went to John Munster's, forty
+years ago, and now you wear them to the son's. How things come round!"
+
+The Munsters' man opened the door for us.
+
+The rooms were full. "Very glad," said Mr., Mrs., and Miss Munster,
+and amid a loud buzz we fell back into obscurity. Adelaide joined
+a group, who were talking at the top of their voices, with most
+hilarious countenances.
+
+"They pretend to have a Murillo here, let us go and find it," said
+Ben.
+
+It was in a small room. While we looked at a dark-haired, handsome
+woman, standing on brown clouds, with hands so fat that every finger
+stood apart, Miss Munster brought up a young gentleman with the
+Munster cast of countenance.
+
+"My brother begs an introduction, Miss Morgeson."
+
+Ben retired, and Mr. Munster began to talk volubly, with wandering
+eyes, repeating words he was in danger of forgetting. No remarks were
+required from me. At the proper moment he asked me to make the tour
+of the rooms, and offered his arm. As we were crossing the hall, I saw
+Desmond, hat in hand, and in faultless evening dress, bowing to Miss
+Munster.
+
+"Your Cousin Desmond, and mine, is a fine-looking man, is he not? Let
+us speak to him."
+
+I drew back. "I'll not interrupt his _devoir_."
+
+He bowed submissively.
+
+"My cousin Desmond," I thought; "let me examine this beauty." He was
+handsomer than Ben, his complexion darker, and his hair black. There
+was a flush across his cheek-bones, as if he had once blushed, and the
+blush had settled. The color of his eyes I could not determine. As if
+to resolve my doubt, he came toward us; they were a deep violet,
+and the lids were fringed with long black lashes. I speculated on
+something animal in those eyes. He stood beside me, and twisted his
+heavy mustache.
+
+"What a pretty boudoir this is," I said, backing into a little room
+behind us.
+
+"Ned," he said abruptly, "you must resign Miss Morgeson; I am here to
+see her."
+
+"Of course," Ned answered; "I relinquish."
+
+Before a word was spoken between us, Mrs. Munster touched Desmond
+on the shoulder, and told him that he must come with her, to be
+introduced to Count Montholon.
+
+"Bring him here, please."
+
+"Tyrant," she answered playfully, "the Count shall come."
+
+He brought a chair. "Take this; you are pale. You have been ill."
+Bringing another, he seated himself before me and fanned himself with
+his hat.
+
+Mrs. Munster came back with the Count, an elderly man, and Desmond
+rose to meet him, keeping his hand on the back of his chair. They
+spoke French. The freedom of their conversation precluded the idea
+of my understanding it. The Count made a remark about me. Desmond
+replied, glancing at me, and both pulled their mustaches. The Count
+was called away soon, and Desmond resumed his chair.
+
+"I understood you," I said.
+
+"The deuce you did."
+
+He placed his hat over a vase of flowers, which tipping over, he
+leisurely righted, and bending toward me, said:
+
+"It was in battle."
+
+"Yes."
+
+"And women like you, pure, with no vice of blood, sometimes are
+tempted, struggle, and suffer."
+
+His words, still more his voice, made we wince.
+
+"Even drawn battles bring their scars," I replied.
+
+"Convince me beyond all doubt that a woman can reason with her
+impulses, or even fathom them, and I will be in your debt."
+
+"Maybe--but Ben is coming."
+
+He looked at me strangely.
+
+"You must find this very dull, Cassandra," said Ben, joining us.
+
+"_Cassandra_," said Desmond, "are you bored?"
+
+The accent with which he spoke my name set my pulses striking like a
+clock. I got up mechanically, as Ben directed.
+
+"They are going to supper. There's game. Des. Munster told me to take
+the northeast corner of the table."
+
+"I shall take the southwest, then," he replied, nodding to a tall
+gentleman who passed with Adelaide. When we left him, he was observing
+a carved oak chair, in occult sympathy probably with the grain of
+the wood. Nature strikes us with _her_ phenomena at times when other
+resources are not at hand.
+
+We were compelled to wait at the door of the supper-room, the jam was
+so great.
+
+"What fairy story do you like best?" asked Ben
+
+"I know which you like."
+
+"Well?"
+
+"Bluebeard. You have an affinity with Sister Ann in the tower."
+
+"Do you think I see nothing 'but the sun which makes a dust and the
+grass which looks green?' I believe you like Bluebeard, too."
+
+That was a great joke, at which we both laughed.
+
+When I saw Desmond again, he was surrounded by men, the French Count
+among them, drinking champagne. He held a bottle, and was talking
+fast. The others were laughing. His listless, morose expression had
+disappeared; in the place of a brutal-tempered, selfish, bored man, I
+saw a brilliant, jovial gentleman. Which was the real man?
+
+"Finish your jelly," said Ben.
+
+"I prefer looking at your brother."
+
+"Leave my brother alone."
+
+"You see nothing but 'the sun which makes a dust, and the grass which
+looks green.'"
+
+Miss Munster hoped I was cared for. How gay Desmond was! she had not
+seen such a look in his face in a long time. And how strongly he was
+marked with the family traits.
+
+"How am I marked, May?" asked Ben.
+
+"Oh, we know worse eccentrics than you are. What are you up to now?
+You are not as frank as Desmond."
+
+He laughed as he looked at me, and then Adelaide called to us that it
+was time to leave.
+
+We were among the last; the carriage was waiting. We made our bows to
+Mrs. Munster, who complained of not having seen more of us. "You are
+a favorite of Mrs. Hepburn's, Miss Morgeson, I am told. She is a
+remarkable woman, has great powers." I mentioned my one interview with
+her. Guests were going upstairs with smiles, and coming down without,
+released from their company manners. We rode home in silence, except
+that Adelaide yawned fearfully, and then we toiled up the long stairs,
+separating with a tired, "good-night."
+
+I extinguished my candle by dropping my shawl upon it, and groped in
+vain for matches over the tops of table and shelf.
+
+"To bed in the dark, then," I said, pulling off my gloves and the
+band, from my head, for I felt a tightness in it, and pulled out
+the hairpins. But a desire to look in the glass overcame me. I felt
+unacquainted with myself, and must see what my aspect indicated just
+then.
+
+I crept downstairs, to the dining-room, passed my hands over the
+sideboard, the mantel shelf, and took the round of the dinner-table,
+but found nothing to light my candle with.
+
+"The fire may not be out in the parlor," I thought; "it can be lighted
+there." I ran against the hatstand in the hall, knocking a cane down,
+which fell with a loud noise. The parlor door was ajar; the fire was
+not out, and Desmond was before it, watching its decay.
+
+"What is it?" he asked.
+
+"The candle," I stammered, confused with the necessity of staying to
+have it lighted, and the propriety of retreating in the dark.
+
+"Shall I light it?"
+
+I stepped a little further inside the door and gave it to him. He
+grew warm with thrusting it between the bars of the grate, and I grew
+chilly. Shivering, and with chattering teeth, I made out to say, "A
+piece of paper would do it." Raising his head hastily, it came crash
+against the edge of the marble shelf. Involuntarily I shut the door,
+and leaned against it, to wait for the effect of the blow; but feeling
+a pressure against the outside, I yielded to it, and moved aside. Mrs.
+Somers entered, with a candle flaring in one hand, and holding with
+the other her dressing-gown across her bosom.
+
+"What are you doing here?" she asked harshly, but in a whisper, her
+eyes blazing like a panther's.
+
+"Doing?" I replied; "stay and see."
+
+She swept along, and I followed, bringing up close to Desmond, who had
+his hand round his head, and was very pale, either from the effect
+of the blow or some other cause. Even the flush across his cheeks had
+faded. She looked at him sharply; he moved his hands from his head,
+and met her eyes. "I am not drunk, you see," he said in a low voice.
+She made an insulting gesture toward me, which meant, "Is this an
+adventure of yours?"
+
+The blaze in her eyes kindled a more furious one in his; he stepped
+forward with a threatening motion.
+
+Anger raged through me--like a fierce rain that strikes flat a violent
+sea. I laid my hand on her arm, which she snapped at like a wolf, but
+I spoke calmly:
+
+"You tender, true-hearted creature, full of womanly impulses, allow me
+to light my candle by yours!"
+
+I picked it from the hearth, lighted it, and held it close to her
+face, laughing, though I never felt less merry. But I had restrained
+him.
+
+He took the candle away gently.
+
+"Leave the room," he said to her.
+
+She beckoned me to go.
+
+"No, you shall go."
+
+They made a simultaneous movement with their hands, he to insist, she
+to deprecate, and I again observed how exactly alike they were.
+
+"_Desmond_," I implored, "pray allow me to go."
+
+A deep flush suffused his face. He bowed, threw wide the door, and
+followed me to the foot of the stairs. I reached my hand for the
+candle, for he retained both.
+
+"You, pardon first."
+
+"For what?"
+
+"For much? oh--for much."
+
+What story my face told, I could not have told him. He kissed my hand
+and turned away.
+
+At the top of the stairs I looked down. He was there with upturned
+face, watching me. Whether he went back to confer with his mother,
+I never knew; if he did, the expression which he wore then must have
+troubled her. I went to bed, wondering over the mischief that a candle
+could do. After I had extinguished it, its wick glowed in the dark
+like a one-eyed demon.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXI.
+
+
+Another week passed. Ben had received a letter from Veronica,
+informing him that letter-writing was a kind of composition she was
+not fond of. He must come to her, and then there would be no need for
+writing. Her letter exasperated him. His tenacious mind, lying in wait
+to close upon hers, was irritated by her simple, candid behavior. I
+could give him no consolation, nor did I care to. It suited me that
+his feelings for her weakened his penetration in regard to me.
+
+When he roused at the expression which he saw Desmond fix upon me the
+night that Major Millard was there, I expected a rehearsal from him of
+watchfulness and suspicion; but no symptom appeared. I was glad, for
+I was in love with Desmond. I had known it from the night of Miss
+Munster's party. The morning after I woke to know my soul had built
+itself a lordly pleasure-house; its dome and towers were firm and
+finished, glowing in the light that "never was on land or sea." How
+elate I grew in this atmosphere! The face of Nemesis was veiled even.
+No eye saw the pure, pale nimbus ringed above it. I did not see
+_him_, except as an apparition, for suddenly he had become the most
+unobtrusive member of the family, silent and absent. Immunity from
+espionage was the immutable family rule. Mrs. Somers, under the
+direction of that spirit which isolated me from all exterior
+influences, for a little time had shut down the lid of her evil
+feelings, and was quiet; watching me, perhaps, but not annoying. Mr.
+Somers was engaged with the subject of ventilation. Ann, to convince
+herself that she had a musical talent, practiced of afternoons till
+she was turned out by Adelaide, who had a fit of reading abstruse
+works, sometimes seeking me with fingers thrust between their leaves
+to hold abstract conversations, which, though I took small part in
+them, were of service.
+
+That portion of the world of emotions which I was mapping out she
+was profoundly indifferent to. My experiences to her would have been
+debasing. As she would not come to me, I went to her, and gained
+something.
+
+Ben, always a favorite with his father, pursued him, rode with him,
+and made visits of pleasure or business, with a latent object which
+kept him on the alert.
+
+I had been in Belem three weeks; in a week more I decided to return
+home. My indignation against Mrs. Somers, from our midnight interview,
+had not suggested that I should shorten my visit. On the contrary, it
+had freed me from any regard or fear of her opinion. I had discovered
+her limits.
+
+It was Saturday afternoon. Reflecting that I had but a few days more
+for Belem, and summing up the events of my visit and the people I had
+met, their fashions and differences, I unrolled a tolerable panorama,
+with patches in it of vivid color, and laid it away in my memory, to
+be unrolled again at some future time. Then a faint shadow dropped
+across my mind like a curtain, the first that clouded my royal palace,
+my mental paradise!
+
+I sighed. Joyless, vacant, barren hours prefigured themselves to me,
+drifting through my brain, till their vacant shapes crowded it into
+darkness. I must do something! I would go out; a walk would be good
+for me. Moreover, wishing to purchase a parting gift for Adelaide and
+Ann, I would go alone. Wandering from shop to shop in Norfolk Street,
+without finding the articles I desired, I turned into a street which
+crossed it, and found the right shop. Seeing Drummond Street on an old
+gable-end house, a desire to exchange with some one a language which
+differed from my thoughts prompted me to look up Mrs. Hepburn. I soon
+came to her house, and knocked at the door, which Mari opened. The
+current was already changed, as I followed her into a room different
+from the one where I had seen Mrs. Hepburn. It was dull of aspect,
+long and narrow, with one large window opening on the old-fashioned
+garden, and from which I saw a discolored marble Flora. Mrs. Hepburn
+was by the window, in her high chair. She held out her hand and
+thanked me for coming to see an old woman. Motioning her head toward a
+dark corner, she said, "There is a young man who likes occasionally to
+visit an old woman also."
+
+The young man, twenty-nine years old, was Desmond. He crossed the
+room and offered me his hand. We had not spoken since we parted at
+the stairs that memorable night. He hastily brought chairs, and placed
+them near Mrs. Hepburn, who seized her spectacles, which were on a
+silk workbag beside her, scanned us through them, and exclaimed, "Ah
+ha! what is this?"
+
+"Is it something in me, ma'am?" said Desmond, putting his head before
+my face so that it was hid from her.
+
+"Something in both of you; thief! thief!"
+
+She rubbed her frail hand against my sleeve, muttering, "See now,
+so!--the same characteristics."
+
+"I spoke of the difference of the rooms; the one we were in reminded
+me of a lizard! The walls were faint gray, and every piece of
+furniture was covered with plain yellow chintz, while the carpet was
+a pale green. She replied that she always moved from her winter parlor
+to this summer room on the twenty-second day of April, which had
+fallen the day before, for she liked to watch the coming out of the
+shrubs in the garden, which were as old as herself. The chestnut had
+leaved seventy times and more; and the crippled plum, whose fruit was
+so wormy to eat, was dying with age. As for the elms at the bottom of
+the garden, for all she knew they were a thousand years old.
+
+"The elms are a thousand years old," I repeated and repeated to
+myself, while she glided from topic to topic with Desmond, whose
+conversation indicated that he was as cultivated as any ordinary
+gentleman, when the Pickersgill element was not apparent. The form of
+the garden-goddess faded, the sun had gone below the garden wall. The
+garden grew dusk, and the elms began to nod their tops at me. I became
+silent, listening to the fall of the plummet, which dropped again
+and again from the topmost height of that lordly domain, over which
+shadows had come. Were they sounding its foundations?
+
+My eyes roved the garden, seeking the nucleus of an emotion which
+beset me now--not they, but my senses, formed it--in a garden miles
+away, where nodded a row of elms, under which _Charles Morgeson_
+stood.
+
+"_I am glad you're here, my darling, do you smell the roses?_"
+
+"Are you going?" I heard Mrs. Hepburn say in a far-off voice. I was
+standing by the door.
+
+"Yes, madam; the summer parlor does not delay the sunset."
+
+"Come again. When do you leave Belem?"
+
+"In few days."
+
+Desmond made a grimace, and went to the window.
+
+"Who returns with you," she continued, "Ben? He likes piloting."
+
+"I hope he will; I came here to please him."
+
+"Pooh! You came here because Mr. Somers had a crotchet."
+
+"Well; I was permitted somehow to come."
+
+"It was perfectly right. A woman like you need not question whether a
+thing is convenable."
+
+Desmond turned from the window, and bestowed upon her a benign smile,
+which she returned with a satisfied nod.
+
+This implied flattery tinkled pleasantly on my ears, allaying a doubt
+which I suffered from. Did I realize how much the prestige of those
+Belem saints influenced me, or how proud I was with the conviction of
+affiliation with those who were plainly marked with Caste?
+
+"Walk with me," he demanded, as we were going down the steps.
+
+We passed out of Drummond Street into a wide open common. Rosy clouds
+floated across the zenith, and a warm, balmy wind was blowing. I
+thought of Veronica, calm and happy, as the spring always made her,
+and the thought was a finishing blow to the variety of moods I had
+passed through. The helm of my will was broken.
+
+"There is a good view from Moss Hill yonder," he said. "Shall we go
+up?"
+
+I bowed, declining his arm, and trudged beside him. From its summit
+Belem was only half in sight. Its old, crooked streets sloped and
+disappeared from view; Wolf's Point was at the right of us, and its
+thread of sea. I began talking of our walk, and was giving an extended
+description of it, when he abruptly asked why I came to Belem.
+
+"I know," he said, "that you would not have come, had there been any
+sentiment between you and Ben."
+
+"Thanks for your implication. But I must have made the visit, you
+know, or how could I learn that I should not have made it?"
+
+"You regret coming?"
+
+"Veronica will give me no thanks."
+
+"Who is she?"
+
+"My sister, whom Ben loves."
+
+"Ben love a sister of yours? My God--how? when first? where? And how
+came you to meet him?"
+
+"That chapter of accidents need not be recounted. Can you help him?"
+
+"What can I do?" he said roughly. "There is little love between us.
+You know what a devil's household ours is; but he is one of us--he is
+afraid."
+
+"Of what?"
+
+"Of mother--of our antecedents--of himself."
+
+"I could not expect you to speak well of him."
+
+"Of course not. Your sister has no fortune?"
+
+"She has not. Men whose merchandise is ships are apt to die bankrupt."
+
+"Your father is a merchant?"
+
+"Even at that, the greatest of the name.
+
+"We are all tied up, you know. Ben's allowance is smaller than mine.
+He is easy about money; therefore he is pa's favorite."
+
+"Why do you not help yourselves?"
+
+"Do you think so? You have not known us long. Have you influenced Ben
+to help himself?"
+
+I marched down the hill without reply. Repassing Mrs. Hepburn's, he
+said, "My grandfather was an earl's son."
+
+"Mrs. Hepburn likes you for that. My grandfather was a tailor; I
+should have told her so, when she gave me the aqua marina jewels."
+
+"Had you the courage?"
+
+"I forgot both the fact and the courage."
+
+I hurried along, for it grew dark, and presently saw Ben on the steps
+of the house.
+
+"Have you been walking?" he asked.
+
+"It looks so. Yes, with me," answered Desmond. "Wont you give me
+thanks for attention to your friend?"
+
+"It must have been a whim of Cassandra's."
+
+"Break her of whims, if you can--"
+
+"I _will_."
+
+We went into the parlor together.
+
+"Where do you think I have been?" Ben asked.
+
+"Where?"
+
+"For the doctor. The _baby_ is sick"; and he looked hard at Desmond.
+
+"I hope it will live for years and years," I said.
+
+"I know what you are at, Ben," said Desmond. "I have wished the brat
+dead; but upon my soul, I have a stronger wish than that--I have
+_forgotten_ it."
+
+There was no falseness in his voice; he spoke the truth.
+
+"Forgive me, Des."
+
+"No matter about that," he answered, sauntering off.
+
+I felt happier; that spark of humanity warmed me. I might not have
+another. "I would," I said, "that the last day, the last moments of my
+visit had come. You will see me henceforth in Surrey. I will live and
+die there."
+
+"To-night," Ben said, "I am going to tell pa."
+
+"That is best."
+
+"Horrible atmosphere!"
+
+"It would kill Verry."
+
+"You thrive in it," he said, with a spice of irritation in his voice.
+
+"Thrive!"
+
+Adelaide and Ann proved gracious over my gift. They were talking of
+the doctor's visit. Ann said the child was teething, for she had
+felt its gums; nothing else was the matter. There need be no
+_apprehension_. She should say so to Desmond and Ben, and would post a
+letter to her brother in unknown parts.
+
+"Miss Hiticutt has sent for us to come over to tea," Adelaide informed
+me. The black silk I wore would do, for we must go at once.
+
+The quiet, formal evening was a pleasant relief, although I was
+troubled with a desire to inform Mrs. Somers of Ben's engagement, for
+the sake of exasperating her. We came home too early for bed, Adelaide
+said; beside, she had music-hunger. I must sing. Mrs. Somers was by
+the fire, darning fine napkins, winking over her task, maintaining
+in her aspect the determination to avert any danger of a midnight
+interview with Desmond. That gentleman was at present sleeping on a
+sofa. I seated myself before the piano, wondering whether he slept
+from wine, ennui, or to while away the time till I should come. I
+touched the keys softly, waiting for an interpreting voice, and half
+unconsciously sang the lines of Schiller:
+
+  "I hear the sound of music, and the halls
+  Are full of light. Who are the revelers?"
+
+Desmond made an inarticulate noise and sprang up, as if in answer to a
+call. A moment after he stepped quietly over the back of the sofa
+and stood bending over me. I looked up. His eyes were clear, his face
+alive with intuition. Though Adelaide was close by, she was oblivious;
+her eyes were cast upward and her fingers lay languid in her lap. Ann,
+more lively, introduced a note here and there into my song to her own
+satisfaction. Mrs. Somers I could not see; but I stopped and, giving
+the music stool a turn, faced her. She met me with her pale, opaque
+stare, and began to swing her foot over her knee; her slipper, already
+down at her heel, fell off. I picked it up in spite of her negative
+movement and hung it on the foot again.
+
+"I shall speak with you presently," she whispered, glancing at
+Desmond.
+
+He heard her and his face flashed with the instinct of sport, which
+made me ashamed of any desire for a struggle with her.
+
+"Good-night," I said abruptly, turning away.
+
+"We are all sleepy except this exemplary housewife with her napkins,"
+cried Ann. "We will leave her."
+
+"Cassandra," said Adelaide, when we were on the stairs, "how well you
+look!"
+
+Ann, elevating her candle, remarked my eyes shone like a cat's.
+
+"Hiticutt's tea was too strong," added Adelaide; "it dilates the
+pupils. I am sorry you are going away," and she kissed me; this favor
+would have moved me at any other time, but now I rejoiced to see her
+depart and leave me alone. I sat down by the toilet table and was
+arranging some bottles, when Mrs. Somers rustled in. Out of breath,
+she began haughtily:
+
+"What do you mean?"
+
+A lethargic feeling crept over me; my thoughts wandered; I never spoke
+nor stirred till she pulled my sleeve violently.
+
+"If you touch me it will rouse me. Did a child of yours ever inflict a
+blow upon you?"
+
+She turned purple with rage, looming up before my vision like a peony.
+
+"When are you going home?"
+
+I counted aloud, "Sunday--Monday," and stopped at Wednesday. "Ben is
+going back with me."
+
+"_He_ may go."
+
+"And not Desmond?"
+
+"Do you know Desmond?"
+
+"Not entirely."
+
+"He has played with such toys as you are, and broken them."
+
+"Alas, he is hereditarily cruel! Could _I_ expect not to be broken?"
+
+She caught up a glass goblet as if to throw it, but only grasped it so
+tight that it shivered. "There goes one of the Pickersgill treasures,
+I am sure," I thought.
+
+"I am already scarred, you see. I have been 'nurtured in
+convulsions.'"
+
+The action seemed to loosen her speech; but she had to nerve herself
+to say what she intended; for some reason or other, she could not
+remain as angry as she wished. What she said I will not repeat.
+
+"Madam, I have no plans. If I have a Purpose, it is formless yet. If
+God saves us what can you do?"
+
+She made a gesture of contempt.
+
+"You have no soul to thank me for what may be my work," and I opened
+the door.
+
+Ben stood on the threshhold.
+
+"In God's name, what is this?"
+
+I pointed to his mother. She looked uneasy, and stepping forward put
+her hand on his arm; but he shook her off.
+
+"You may call me a fool, Cassandra, for bringing you here," he said in
+a bitter voice, "besides calling me cruel for subjecting you to these
+ordeals. I knew how it would be with mother. What is it, madam?" he
+asked imperiously, looking so much like her that I shuddered.
+
+"It is not you she is after," she hotly exclaimed.
+
+"No, I should think not." And he led her out swiftly.
+
+I heard Mrs. Somers say at breakfast, as I went in, "We are to lose
+Miss Cassandra on Wednesday." I looked at Desmond, who was munching
+toast abstractedly. He made a motion for me to take the chair beside
+him, which I obeyed. Ben saw this movement, and an expression of pain
+passed over his face. At that instant I remembered that Desmond's
+being seen in the evening and in the morning was a rare occurrence.
+Mr. Somers took up the remark of Mrs. Somers where she had left it,
+and expatiated on it till breakfast was over, so courteously and so
+ramblingly that I was convinced the affair Ben had at heart had been
+revealed. He invited me to go to church, and he spent the whole of the
+evening in the parlor; and although Desmond hovered near me all day
+and all the evening, we had no opportunity of speaking to each other.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXII.
+
+
+On Tuesday morning Adelaide sent out invitations to a farewell
+entertainment, as she called it, for Tuesday evening. Mrs. Somers,
+affecting great interest in it, engaged my services in wiping the
+dust from glass and china; "too valuable," she said, "for servants to
+handle." We spent a part of the morning in the dining-room and pantry.
+Ann was with us. If she went out, Mrs. Somers was silent; when present
+she chatted. While we were busy Desmond came in, in riding trousers
+and whip in hand.
+
+"What nonsense!" he said, touching my hand with the whiplash. "Will
+you ride with me after dinner?"
+
+"I must have the horses at three o'clock," said his mother, "to go to
+Mrs. Flint's funeral. She was a family friend, you know." The funeral
+could not be postponed, even for Desmond; but he grew ill-humored at
+once, swore at Murphy, who was packing a waiter at the sideboard, for
+rattling the plates; called Ann a minx, because she laughed at him;
+and bit a cigar to pieces because he could not light it. Rash had
+followed him, his nose against his velveteens, in entreaty to go with
+him; I was pleased at this sign of amity between them. At a harder
+push than common he looked down and kicked him away.
+
+"Noble creature," I said, "try your whip on him. Rash, go to your
+master," and I opened the door. Two smaller dogs, Desmond's property,
+made a rush to come in; but I shut them out, whereat they whined so
+loudly that Mrs. Somers was provoked to attack him for bringing his
+dogs in the house. An altercation took place, and was ended by Desmond
+declaring that he was on his way after a bitch terrier, to bring it
+home. He went out, giving me a look from the door, which I answered
+with a smile that made him stamp all the way through the hall. Mrs.
+Somers's feelings as she heard him peeped out at me. Groaning in
+spirit, I finished my last saucer and betook myself to my room and
+read, till summoned by Mrs. Somers to a consultation respecting the
+furniture coverings. Desmond came home, but spoke to no one, hovering
+in my vicinity as on the day before.
+
+In the afternoon Adelaide and I went in the carriage to make calls
+upon those we did not expect to see in the evening. She wrote P.P.C.
+on my cards and laughed at the idea of paying farewell visits to
+strangers. The last one was made to Mrs. Hepburn. A soft melancholy
+crept over me when I entered the room where I had met Desmond last. We
+should probably not see each other alone again. Mrs. Somers's policy
+to that effect would be a success, for I should make no opposition to
+it. Not a word of my feelings could I speak to Mrs. Hepburn--Adelaide
+was there--provided I had the impulse; and Mrs. Hepburn would be the
+last to forgive me should I make the conventional mistake of a scene
+or an aside. This old lady had taught me something. I went to the
+window, curious to know whether any nerve of association would vibrate
+again. Nothing stirred me; the machinery which had agitated and
+controlled me was effete.
+
+Mrs. Hepburn said, as we were taking leave:
+
+"If you come to Belem next year, and I am above the sod, I invite you
+to pass a month with me. But let it be in the summer. I ride then, and
+should like you for a companion."
+
+She might have seen irresolution in me, for she added quickly, "You
+need not promise--let time decide," and shook my hands kindly.
+
+"Hep, is smitten with you, in her selfish way," Adelaide remarked, as
+we rode from the door. She ordered the coachman to drive home by the
+"Leslie House," which she wanted me to see. A great aunt had lived
+and died there, leaving the house--one of the oldest in Belem--to her
+brother Ned.
+
+"Who is he like?"
+
+"Desmond; but worse. There's only a year's difference in their ages.
+They were educated together, kept in the nursery till they were great
+boys and tyrants, and then sent abroad. They were in Amiens three
+years."
+
+"There are Desmond and Ben; they are walking in the street we are
+passing."
+
+She looked out.
+
+"They are quarreling, I dare say. Ben is a prig, and preaches to Des."
+
+While we were in the house, and Adelaide talked with the old servant
+of her aunt, my thoughts were occupied with Desmond. What had they
+quarreled on? Desmond was pale, and laughed; but Ben was red, and
+looked angry.
+
+"Why do you look at me so fixedly?" Adelaide asked, when we were in
+the carriage again.
+
+It was on my tongue to say, "Because I am beset." I did not, however;
+instead I asked her if she never noticed what a rigid look people wore
+in their best bonnets, and holding a card-case? She said, "Yes," and
+shook out her handkerchief, as if to correct her own rigidity.
+
+After an early tea she compelled me to sing, and we delayed dressing
+till Mrs. Somers bloomed in, with purple satin and feather head-dress.
+
+"Now we must go," she said, "and get ready."
+
+"What shall you wear?" Mrs. Somers asked, advising a certain ugly,
+claret-colored silk.
+
+"Be sure not," said Adelaide on the stairs. "That dress makes your
+hair too yellow."
+
+I heard loud laughing in the third story, and heavy steps, while I
+was in my room; and when I went down, I saw two gentlemen in evening
+dress, standing by Desmond, at the piano, and singing, "_Fill, fill
+the sparkling brimmer_." They were, as Ann informed me, college
+friends of Des, who had arrived for a few days' visit, she supposed;
+disagreeable persons, of course. They were often in Belem to ride,
+fish, or play billiards. "Pa hates them," she said in conclusion. Mr.
+Somers entering at this moment, in his _diplomatique_ style, his gouty
+white hands shaded with wristbands, and his throat tied with a white
+cravat, appeared to contradict her assertion, he was so affable in his
+salutations to the young men. Desmond turned from the piano when he
+heard his father's voice, and caught sight of me. He started toward
+me; but his attention was claimed by one of the gentlemen, who had
+been giving me a prolonged stare, and he dropped back on his seat,
+with an indifferent air, answering some question relating to myself.
+He looked as when I first saw him--flushed, haughty, and bored. His
+hair and dress were disordered, his boots splashed with mud; and it
+was evident that he did not intend to appear at the party.
+
+Adelaide called me to remain by her; but I slipped away when I thought
+no more would arrive, and sought a retired corner, to which Mr. Somers
+brought Desmond's friends, introducing them as the sons of his college
+chums, and leaving them, one lolling against the mantel, the other
+over the back of a chair. They were muzzy with drink, and seemed to
+grow warm, as I looked from one to the other, with an attentive air.
+
+"You are visiting in Belem," said one.
+
+"That is true," I replied.
+
+"It is too confoundedly aristocratic for me; it knocks Beacon Street
+into nothingness."
+
+"Where is Beacon Street?"
+
+"Don't you know _that_? Nor the Mall?"
+
+"No."
+
+Our conversation was interrupted by Ben, whom I had not seen since the
+day before. He had been out of town, transacting some business for
+his father. We looked at each other without speaking, but divined each
+other's thoughts. "You _are_ as true and noble as I think you are,
+Cassy. I must have it so. You _shall not_ thwart me." "Faithful
+and good Ben,--do you pass a sufficiently strict examination upon
+yourself? Are you not disposed to carry through your own ideas without
+considering _me_?" Whatever our internal comments were, we smiled upon
+each other with the sincerity of friendship, and I detected Mr. Digby
+in the act of elevating his eyebrows at Mr. Devereaux, who signified
+his opinion by telegraphing back: "It is all over with them."
+
+"Hey, Somers," said the first; "what are you doing nowadays?"
+
+"Pretty much the same work that I always have on hand."
+
+"Do you mean to stick to Belem?"
+
+"No."
+
+"I thought so. But what has come over Des. lately? He is spoony."
+
+"He is going backward, may be, to some course he omitted in his career
+with you fellows. We must run the same round somehow, you know."
+
+"He'll not find much reason for it, when he arrives," Mr. Devereaux
+said.
+
+Miss Munster joined us, with the intention of breaking up our
+conclave, and soon moved away, with Mr. Digby and Devereaux in her
+train.
+
+"I have changed my mind," said Ben, "about going home with you."
+
+"Are your plans growing complicated again?"
+
+"Can you go to Surrey alone?"
+
+"Why not, pray?"
+
+"I have an idea of going to Switzerland to spend the summer. Will
+Veronica be ready in the autumn?"
+
+"How can I answer? Shall you not take leave of her?"
+
+"Perhaps. Yes,--I must," he said excitedly; "but to-morrow we will
+talk more about it. I shall go to Boston with you; pa is going too.
+How well you look to-night, Cassy! What sort of dress is this?" taking
+up a fold of it. "Is it cotton-silk, or silk-cotton? It is soft and
+light. How delicate you are, with your gold hair and morning-glory
+eyes!"
+
+"How poetical! My dress is new, and was made by Adelaide's
+dressmaker."
+
+"Mother beckons me. What a headdress that is of hers!"
+
+"What beckons you to go to Switzerland?" I mused.
+
+I listened for Desmond's voice, which would have sounded like a silver
+bell, in the loud, coarse buzz which pervaded the rooms. All the women
+were talking shrill, and the men answering in falsetto. He was
+not among them, and I moved to and fro unnoticed, for the tide of
+entertainment had set in, and I could withdraw, if I chose. I took a
+chair near an open door, commanded a view into a small room, on the
+other side of the hall, opened only on occasions like these; there
+was no one in it. Perceiving that my shoelace was untied, I stooped to
+refasten it, and when I looked in the room again saw Desmond standing
+under the chandelier, his hands in his pockets, his eyes on the floor,
+his hair disordered and falling over his forehead; its blackness was
+intense against the relief of the crimson wall-paper. Was it that
+which had unaccountably changed his appearance?
+
+He raised his head, looked across the hall, and saw me.
+
+"Come here," he signaled. I rose like an automaton, and cast an
+involuntary glance about me; the guests were filing through the
+drawing-room, into the room where refreshments were laid. When the
+last had gone, I left the friendly protection of the niche by the
+fire-place, and stood so near him that I saw his nostrils quiver! Then
+there came into his face an expression of pain, which softened it. I
+had wished him to please me; _now_ I wished to please him. It seemed
+that he had no intention of speaking, and that he had called me to
+him to witness a struggle which I must find a key to hereafter, in the
+depths of my own heart. I watched him in silence, and it passed. As
+he pushed the door to with his foot, the movement caused something
+to swing and glitter against his breast--a ring on his watch-ribbon
+smaller than I could wear, a woman's ruby ring. The small, feminine
+imp, who abides with those who have beams in their eyes, and helps
+them to extract motes from the eyes of others, inspired me. I pointed
+to the ring. Dropping his eyes, he said: "I loved her shamefully, and
+she loved me shamefully. When shall I take it off--cursed sign?" And
+he snapped it with his thumb and finger.
+
+I grew rigid with virtue.
+
+"You may not conjure up any tragic ideas on the subject. She is no
+outcast. She is here to-night; if there was ruin, it was mutual."
+
+"And your other faults?"
+
+"Ah!" he said, with a terrible accent, "we shall see."
+
+There was a tap on the door; it was Ben's. I fell back a step, and
+he came in. "Will you bring Cassandra to the supper-room?" he said,
+turning pale.
+
+"No."
+
+"Come with me, then; you must." And he put my arm in his.
+
+"Hail, and farewell, Cassandra!" said Desmond, standing before the
+door. "Give me your hand."
+
+I gave him both my hands. He kissed one, and then the other, and
+moved to let us pass out. But Ben did not go; he fumbled for his
+handkerchief to wipe his forehead, on which stood beads of sweat.
+
+"_Allons,_ Ben," I said.
+
+"Go on, go on," said Desmond, holding the door wide open.
+
+A painful curiosity made me anxious to discover the owner of the ruby
+ring! The friendly but narrow-minded imp I have spoken of composed
+speeches, with which I might assail her, should she be found. I looked
+in vain at every women present; there was not a sorrowful or guilty
+face among them. Another feeling took the place of my curiosity. I
+forgot the woman I was seeking, to remember the love I bore Desmond. I
+was mad for the sight of him--mad to touch his hand once more. I could
+have put the asp on my breast to suck me to sleep, as Cleopatra did;
+but _Cæsar_ was in the way. He stayed by me till the lights were
+turned down.
+
+Digby and Devereaux were commenting on Desmond's disappearance, and
+Mrs. Somers was politely yawning, waiting their call for candles.
+
+"If you are to accompany me, Ben," I said, "now is the time." And
+he slipped out. He preserved a determined silence. I shook him, and
+said--"_Veronica_." He put his hand over my mouth with an indignant
+look, which was lost upon me, for I whispered in his ear; "Do you know
+now that I _love_ Desmond?"
+
+"Will you bring him into our Paradise?"
+
+"Where?"
+
+"Our home, in Surrey."
+
+"Wont an angel with a flaming sword make it piquant?"
+
+"If you marry Desmond Somers," he said austerely, "you will contradict
+three lives,--yours, mine, and Veronica's. What beast was it that
+suggested this horrible discord? Have you so much passion that you
+cannot discern the future you offer yourself?"
+
+"Imperator, you have an agreeable way of putting things. But they are
+coming through the hall. Good-night."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII.
+
+
+At eleven o'clock the next day I was ready for departure. All stood by
+the open hall door, criticising Murphy's strapping of my trunks on a
+hack. Messrs. Digby and Devereaux, in black satin scarfs, hung over
+the step railings; Mrs. Somers, Adelaide, and Ann were within the
+door. Mr. Somers and Ben were already on the walk, waiting for me; so
+I went through the ceremony of bidding good-by--a ceremony performed
+with so much cheerfulness on all sides that it was an occasion for
+well-bred merriment, and I made my exit as I should have made it in a
+genteel comedy, but with a bitter feeling of mortification, because of
+their artificial, willful imperturbability I was forced to oppose them
+with manners copied after their own.
+
+I looked from the carriage window for a last view of my room. The
+chambermaid was already there, and had thrown open the shutters, to
+let in daylight upon the scene of the most royal dreams I had ever
+had. The ghost of my individuality would lurk there no longer than
+the chairs I had placed, the books I had left, the shreds of paper or
+flowers I had scattered, could be moved or swept away.
+
+All the way to Boston the transition to my old condition oppressed me.
+I felt a dreary disgust at the necessity of resuming relations which
+had no connection with the sentiment that bound me to Belem. After we
+were settled at the Tremont, while watching a sad waiter engaged
+in the ceremonial of folding napkins like fans, I discovered an
+intermediate tone of mind, which gave my thoughts a picturesque tinge.
+My romance, its regrets, and its pleasures, should be set in the frame
+of the wild sea and shores of Surrey. I invested our isolated house
+with the dignity of a stage, where the drama, which my thoughts must
+continually represent, could go on without interruption, and remain a
+secret I should have no temptation to reveal. Until after the tedious
+dinner, a complete rainbow of dreams spanned the arc of my brain. Mr.
+Somers dispersed it by asking Ben to go out on some errand. That it
+was a pretext, I knew by Ben's expression; therefore, when he had gone
+I turned to Mr. Somers an attentive face. First, he circumlocuted;
+second, he skirmished. I still waited for what he wished to say,
+without giving him any aid. He was sure, he said at last, that my
+visit in his family had convinced me that his children could not vary
+the destiny imposed upon them by their antecedents, without bringing
+upon _others_ lamentable consequences. "Cunning pa," I commented
+internally. Had I not seen the misery of unequal marriages?
+
+"As in a glass, darkly."
+
+Doubtless, he went on, I had comprehended the erratic tendency in
+_Ben's_ character, good and honorable as he was, but impressive and
+visionary. Did I think so?
+
+"Quite the contrary. Have you never perceived the method of his
+visions in an unvarying opposition to those antecedents you boast of?"
+
+"Well, _well_, well?"
+
+"Money, Family, Influence,--are a ding-dong bell which you must weary
+of, Mr. Somers--sometimes."
+
+"Ben has disappointed me; I must confess that."
+
+"My sister is eccentric. Provided she marries him, the family
+programme will be changed. You must lop him from the family tree."
+
+He took up a paper, bowed to me with an unvexed air, and read a column
+or so.
+
+"It may be absurd," and he looked over his spectacle tops, as if
+he had found the remark in his paper, "for parents to oppose the
+marriages their children choose to make, and I beg you to understand
+that I may _oppose_, not _resist_ Ben. You know very well," and he
+dropped the paper in a burst of irritation and candor, "that the devil
+will be to pay with Mrs. Somers, who has a right of dictation in the
+affair. She does not suspect it. I must say that Ben is mistaking
+himself again. I mean, I think so."
+
+I looked upon him with a more friendly countenance. The one rude word
+he had spoken had a wonderful effect, after the surprise of it was
+over. Real eyes appeared in his face, and a truthful accent pervaded
+his voice. I think he was beginning to think that he might confide his
+perplexities to me on other subjects, when Ben returned. As it was,
+a friendly feeling had been established between us. He said in a
+confidential tone to Ben, as if we were partners in some guilty
+secret, "You must mention it to your mother; indeed you must."
+
+"You have been speaking with Cassandra, in reference to her sister,"
+he answered indifferently. Mr. Somers was chilled in his attempt at a
+mutual confidence.
+
+"Can you raise money, if Desmond should marry?" asked Ben. "Enough for
+both of us?"
+
+"Desmond? he will never marry."
+
+"It is certainly possible."
+
+"You know how I am clogged."
+
+I rang for some ice-water, and when the waiter brought it, said that
+it was time to retire.
+
+"Now," said Mr. Somers, "I shall give you just such a breakfast as
+will enable you to travel well--a beefsteak, and old bread made into
+toast. Don't drink that ice-water; take some wine."
+
+I set the glass of ice-water down, and declined the wine. Ben elevated
+his eyebrows, and asked:
+
+"What time shall I get up, sir?"
+
+"I will call you; so you may sleep untroubled."
+
+He opened the door, and bade me an affectionate good night.
+
+"The coach is ready," a waiter announced, as we finished our
+breakfast. "We are ready," said Mr. Somers. "I have ordered a packet
+of sandwiches for you--_beef_, not ham sandwiches--and here is a flask
+of wine mixed with water."
+
+I thanked him, and tied my bonnet.
+
+"Here is a note, also," opening his pocketbook and extracting it, "for
+your father. It contains our apologies for not accompanying you, and
+one or two allusions," making an attempt to wink at Ben, which failed,
+his eyes being unused to such an undignified style of humor.
+
+He excused himself from going to the station on account of the morning
+air, and Ben and I proceeded. In the passage, the waiter met us with a
+paper box. "For you, Miss. A florist's boy just left it." I opened it
+in the coach, and seeing flowers, was about to take them out to show
+Ben, when I caught sight of the ribbon which tied them--a piece of one
+of my collar knots I had not missed. Of course the flowers came from
+Desmond, and half the ribbon was in his possession; the ends were
+jagged, as if it had been divided with a knife. Instead of taking out
+the flowers, I showed him the box.
+
+"What a curious bouquet," he said.
+
+In the cars he put into my hand a jewel box, and a thick letter for
+Verry, kissed me, and was out of sight.
+
+"No vestige but these flowers," uncovering them again. "In my room at
+Surrey I will take you out," and I shut the box. The clanking of the
+car wheels revolved through my head in rhythm, excluding thought for
+miles. Then I looked out at the flying sky--it was almost May. The
+day was mild and fair; in the hollows, the young grass spread over the
+earth like a smooth cloth; over the hills and unsheltered fields, the
+old grass lay like coarse mats. A few birds roved the air in anxiety,
+for the time of love was at hand, and their nests were not finished.
+By twelve I arrived at the town where the railroad branched in a
+direction opposite the road to Surrey, and where a stage was waiting
+for its complement of passengers from the cars. I was the only lady
+"aboard," as one of the passengers intelligently remarked, when we
+started. They were desirable companions, for they were gruff to
+each other and silent to me. We rode several miles in a state
+of unadjustment, and then yielded to the sedative qualities of a
+stagecoach. I lunched on my sandwiches, thanking Mr. Somers for his
+forethought, though I should have preferred them of ham, instead of
+beef. When I took a sip from my flask, two men looked surprised, and
+spat vehemently out of the windows. I offered it to them. They
+refused it, saying they had had what was needful at the Depot Saloon,
+conducted on the strictest temperance principles.
+
+"Those principles are cruel, provided travelers ever have colic, or an
+aversion to Depot tea and coffee," I said.
+
+There was silence for the space of fifteen minutes, then one of them
+turned and said: "You have a good head, marm."
+
+"Too good?"
+
+"Forgetful, may be."
+
+I bowed, not wishing to prolong the conversation.
+
+"Your circulation is too rapid," he continued.
+
+The man on the seat with him now turned round, and, examining me,
+informed me that electricity would be first-rate for me.
+
+"Shoo!" he replied, "it's a humbug."
+
+I was forgotten in the discussion which followed, and which lasted
+till our arrival at a village, where one of them resided. He left,
+telling us he was a "natral bone-setter." One by one the passengers
+left the stage, and for the last five miles I was alone. I beguiled
+the time by elaborating a multitude of trivial opinions, suggested by
+objects I saw along the roadside, till the old and new church spires
+of Surrey came in sight, and the curving lines at either end of the
+ascending shores. We reached the point in the north road, where the
+ground began its descent to the sea, and I hung from the window, to
+see all the village roofs humble before it. The streets and dwellings
+looked as insignificant as those of a toy village. I perceived no
+movement in it, heard no hum of life. At a cross-road, which would
+take the stage into the village without its passing our house, a whim
+possessed me. I would surprise them at home, and go in at the back
+door, while they were expecting to hear the stage. The driver let me
+out, and I stood in the road till he was out of sight.
+
+A breeze blew round me, penetrating, but silent; the fields, and the
+distant houses which dotted them, were asleep in the pale sunshine,
+undisturbed by it. The crows cawed, and flew over the eastern woods.
+I walked slowly. The road was deserted. Mrs. Grossman's house was
+the only one I must pass; its shutters were closed, and the yard was
+empty. As I drew near home a violent haste grew upon me, yet my feet
+seemed to impede my progress. They were like lead; I impelled myself
+along, as in a dream. Under the protection of our orchard wall I
+turned my merino mantle, which was lined with an indefinite color,
+spread my veil over my bonnet, and bent my shoulders, and passed down
+the carriage-drive, by the dining-room windows, into the stable-yard.
+The rays of sunset struck the lantern-panes in the light-house, and
+gave the atmosphere a yellow stain. The pigeons were skimming up and
+down the roof of the wood-house, and cooing round the horses that were
+in the yard. A boy was driving cows into the shed, whistling a lively
+air; he suspended it when he saw me, but I shook my finger at him, and
+ran in. Slipping into the side hall, I dropped my bonnet and shawl,
+and listened at the door for the familiar voices. Mother must be
+there, as was her wont, and Aunt Merce. All of them, perhaps, for
+I had seen nobody on my way. There was no talking within. The last
+sunset ray struck on my hand its yellow shade, through the fan-light,
+and faded before I opened the door. I was arrested on the threshold by
+a silence which rushed upon me, clutching me in a suffocating embrace.
+Mother was in her chair by the fire, which was out, for the brands
+were black, and one had fallen close to her feet. A white flannel
+shawl covered her shoulders; her chin rested on her breast. "She
+is ill, and has dropped asleep," I thought, thrusting my hands out,
+through this terrible silence, to break her slumber, and looked at the
+clock; it was near seven. A door slammed, somewhere upstairs, so loud
+it made me jump; but she did not wake. I went toward her, confused,
+and stumbling against the table, which was between us, but reached her
+at last. Oh, I knew it! She was dead! People must die, even in their
+chairs, alone! What difference did it make, how? An empty cup was in
+her lap, bottom up; I set it carefully on the mantel shelf above her
+head. Her handkerchief was crumpled in her nerveless hand; I drew it
+away and thrust it into my bosom. My gloves tightened my hands as I
+tried to pull them off, and was tugging at them, when a door opened,
+and Veronica came in.
+
+"She is dead," I said. "I can't get them off."
+
+"It is false"; and she staggered backward, with her hand on her heart,
+till she fell against the wall. I do not know how long we remained
+so, but I became aware of a great confusion--cries, and exclamations;
+people were running in and out. Fanny rolled on the floor in
+hysterics.
+
+"Get up," I said. "I can't move; help me. Where did Verry go?"
+
+She got up, and pulled me along. I saw father raise mother in his
+arms. The dreadful sight of her swaying arms and drooping head made me
+lose my breath; but Veronica forced me to endurance by clinging to me,
+and dragging me out of the room and upstairs. She turned the key of
+the glass-door at the head of the passage, not letting go of me. I
+took her by the arms, placed her in a chair, and closing my window
+curtains, sat down beside her in the dark.
+
+"Where will they carry her?" she asked, shuddering, and putting her
+fingers in her ears. "How the water splashes on the beach! Is the tide
+coming in?"
+
+She was appalled by the physical horror of death, and asked me
+incessant questions.
+
+"Let us keep her away from the grave," she said.
+
+I could not answer, or hear her at last, for sleep overpowered me. I
+struggled against it in vain. It seemed the greatest good; let death
+and judgment come, I must sleep. I threw myself on my bed, and the
+touch of the pillow sealed my eyes. I started from a dream about
+something that happened when I was a little child. "Veronica, are you
+here?"
+
+"Mother is dead," she answered.
+
+A mighty anguish filled my breast. Mother!--her goodness and beauty,
+her pure heart, her simplicity--I felt them all. I pitied her dead,
+because she would never know how I valued her. Veronica shed no tears,
+but sighed heavily. _Duty_ sounded through her sighs. "Verry,
+shall _I_ take care of you? I think I can." She shook her head; but
+presently she stretched her hands in search of my face, kissed it, and
+answered, "Perhaps."
+
+"You must go to your own room and rest."
+
+"Can you keep everybody from me?"
+
+"I will try."
+
+Opening her window, she looked out over the earth wistfully, and at
+the sky, thickly strewn with stars, which revealed her face. We heard
+somebody coming up the back stairs.
+
+"Temperance," said Verry.
+
+"Are you in the dark, girls?" she asked, wringing her hands, when she
+had put down her lamp. "What an awful Providence!" She looked with a
+painful anxiety at Veronica.
+
+"It is all Providence, Temperance, whether we are alive or dead," I
+said. "Let us let Providence alone."
+
+"What did I ever leave her for? She wasn't fit to take care of
+herself. Why, Cassandra Morgeson, you haven't got off all your things
+yet. And what's this sticking out of your bosom?"
+
+"It is her handkerchief." I kissed it, and now Verry began to weep
+over it, begging me for it. I gave it up to her.
+
+"It will kill your father."
+
+I had not thought of him.
+
+"It's most nine o'clock. Sofrony Beals is here; she lays out
+beautifully."
+
+"No, no; don't let anybody touch her!" shrieked Verry.
+
+"No, they shan't. Come into the kitchen; you must have something to
+eat."
+
+I was faint from the want of food, and when Temperance prepared us
+something I ate heartily. Veronica drank a little milk, but would
+taste nothing. Aunt Merce, who had been out to tea, Temperance said,
+came into the kitchen.
+
+"My poor girl, I have not seen you," embracing me, half blind with
+crying, "How pale you are! How sunken! Keep up as well as you can.
+I little thought that the worthless one of us two would be left to
+suffer. Go to your father, as soon as possible."
+
+"Drink this tea right down, Mercy," said Temperance, holding a cup
+before her. "There isn't much to eat in the house. Of all times in the
+world to be without good victuals! What could Hepsey have meant?"
+
+"Poor old soul," Aunt Merce replied, "she is quite broken. Fanny had
+to help her upstairs."
+
+The kitchen door opened, and Temperance's husband, Abram, came in.
+
+"Good Lord!" she said in an irate voice, "have you come, too? Did you
+think I couldn't get home to get your breakfast?"
+
+She hung the kettle on the fire again, muttering too low for him to
+hear: "Some folks could be spared better than other folks."
+
+Abram shoved back his hat. "'The Lord gives and the Lord takes away,'
+but she is a dreadful loss to the poor. There's my poor boy, whose
+clothes--"
+
+"Ain't he the beatum of all the men that ever you see?" broke in
+Temperance, taking to him a large piece of pie, which he took with a
+short laugh, and sat down to eat. I could not help exchanging a look
+with Aunt Merce; we both laughed. Veronica, lost in revery, paid no
+attention to anything about her. I saw that Temperance suffered; she
+was perplexed and irritated.
+
+"Let Abram stay, if he likes," I whispered to her; "and be sure to
+stay yourself, for you are needed."
+
+She brightened with an expression of gratitude. "He is a nuisance,"
+she whispered back; "but as I made a fool of myself, I must be
+punished according to my folly. I'll stay, you may depend. I'll do
+_everything_ for you. I vow I am mad, that I ever went away."
+
+"Have the neighbors gone?" I asked.
+
+"There's a couple or so round, and will be, you know. I'll take Verry
+to bed, and sleep on the floor by her. You go to your father."
+
+He was in their bedroom, on the bed. She was lying on a frame of wood,
+covered with canvas, a kind of bed which went from house to house in
+Surrey, on occasions of sickness or death.
+
+"Our last night together has passed," he said in a tremulous voice,
+while scanty tears fell from his seared eyes. "The space between then
+and now--when her arm was round me, when she slept beside me, when I
+woke from a bad dream, and she talked gently close to my face, till
+I slept again--is so narrow that I recall it with a sense of
+reality which agonizes me; it is so immeasurable when I see her
+there--_there_, that I am crushed."
+
+If I had had any thought of speaking to him, it was gone. And I must
+go too. Were the hands folded across her breast, where I, also, had
+slept? Were the blue eyes closed that had watched me there? I should
+never see. A shroud covered her from all eyes but his now. Till I
+closed the door upon him, I looked my last farewell. An elderly woman
+met me as I was going upstairs, and offered me a small packet; it was
+her hair. "It was very long," she said. I tried in vain to thank her.
+"I will place it in a drawer for you," she said kindly.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV.
+
+
+The house was thronged till after the funeral. We sat in state, to be
+condoled with and waited upon. Not a jot of the customary rites
+was abated, though I am sure the performers thereof had small
+encouragement. Veronica alone would see no one; her room was the only
+one not invaded; for the neighbors took the house into their hands,
+assisted by that part of the Morgesons who were too distantly related
+to consider themselves as mourners to be shut up with us. It was put
+under rigorous funeral law, and inspected from garret to cellar. They
+supervised all the arrangements, if there were any that they did not
+make, received the guests who came from a distance, and aided their
+departure. Every child in Surrey was allowed to come in, to look at
+the dead, with the idle curiosity of childhood. Veronica knew nothing
+of this. Her course was taken for granted; mine was imposed upon me.
+I remonstrated with Temperance, but she replied that it was all well
+meant, and always done. I endured the same annoyances over and over
+again, from relays of people. Bed-time especially was their occasion.
+I was not allowed to undress alone. I must have drinks, either to
+compose or stimulate; I must have something read to me; I must be
+watched when I slept, or I must be kept awake to give advice or be
+told items of news. All the while, like a chorus, they reiterated the
+character, the peculiarities, the virtues of the mother I had lost,
+who could never be replaced--who was in a better world. However, I
+was, in a measure, kept from myself during this interval. The matter
+is often subservient to the manner. Arthur's feelings were played upon
+also. He wept often, confiding to me his grief and his plans for the
+future. "If people would die at the age of seventy-five, things would
+go well," he said, "for everybody must expect to die then; the Bible
+says so." He informed me also that he expected to be an architect, and
+that mother liked it. He had an idea, which he had imparted to her, of
+an arch; it must be made of black marble, with gold veins, and ought
+to stand in Egypt, with the word "_Pandemonium_" on it. The kitchen
+was the focus of interest to him, for meals were prepared at all hours
+for comers and goers. Temperance told me that the mild and indifferent
+mourners were fond of good victuals, and she thought their hearts were
+lighter than their stomachs when they went away. She presided there
+and wrangled with Fanny, who seemed to have lost her capacity for
+doing anything steadily, except, as Temperance said, where father was
+concerned. "It's a pity she isn't his dog; she might keep at his
+feet then. I found her crying awfully yesterday, because he looked so
+grief-struck."
+
+Aunt Merce was engaged with a dressmaker, and with the orders for
+bonnets and veils. She discussed the subject of the mourning with the
+Morgesons. I acquiesced in all her arrangements, for she derived a
+simple comfort from these external tokens. Veronica refused to wear
+the bonnet and veil and the required bombazine. Bombazine made her
+flesh crawl. Why should she wear it? Mother hated it, too, for she had
+never worn out the garments made for Grand'ther Warren.
+
+"She's a bigger child than ever," Temperance remarked, "and must have
+her way."
+
+"Do you think the border on my cap is too deep?" asked Aunt Merce,
+coming into my room dressed for the funeral.
+
+"No."
+
+"The cap came from Miss Nye in Milford; she says they wear them so. I
+could have made it myself for half the price. Shall you be ready
+soon? I am going to put on my bonnet. The yard is full of carriages
+already."
+
+Somebody handed me gloves; my bonnet was tied, a handkerchief given
+to me, and the door opened. In the passage I heard a knocking from
+Veronica's room, and crossed to learn what she wanted.
+
+"Is this like her?" she asked, showing me a drawing.
+
+"How could you have done this?"
+
+"Because I have tried. _Is_ it like?"
+
+"Yes, the idea."
+
+But what a picture she had attempted to make! Mother's shadowy face
+serenely looked from a high, small window, set in clouds, like those
+which gather over the sun when it "draws water." It was closely
+pressed to the glass, and she was regarding dark, indefinite creatures
+below it, which Veronica either could not or would not shape.
+
+"Keep it; but don't work on it any more." And I put it away. She was
+wan and languid, but collected.
+
+"I see you are ready. Somebody must bury the dead. Go. Will the house
+be empty?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Good; I can walk through it once more."
+
+"The dead must be buried, that is certain; but why should it be
+certain that _I_ must be the one to do it?"
+
+"You think I can go through with it, then?"
+
+"I have set your behavior down to your will."
+
+"You may be right. Perhaps mother was always right about me too; she
+was against me."
+
+She looked at me with a timidity and apprehension that made my heart
+bleed. "I think we might kiss each other _now_," she said.
+
+I opened my arms, holding her against my breast so tightly that she
+drew back, but kissed my cheek gently, and took from her pocket a
+flaçon of salts, which she fastened to my belt by its little chain,
+and said again, "Go," but recalling me, said, "One thing more; I will
+never lose temper with you again."
+
+The landing-stair was full of people. I locked the door, and took out
+the key; the stairs were crowded. All made way for me with a silent
+respect. Aunt Merce, when she saw me, put her hand on an empty chair,
+beside father, who sat by the coffin. Those passages in the Bible
+which contain the beautifully poetic images relating to the going of
+man to his long home were read, and to my ear they seemed to fall on
+the coffin in dull strife with its inmate, who mutely contradicted
+them. A discourse followed, which was calculated to harrow the
+feelings to the utmost. Arthur began to cry so nervously, that some
+considerate friend took him out, and Aunt Merce wept so violently that
+she grew faint, and caught hold of me. I gave her the flaçon of salts,
+which revived her; but I felt as father looked--stern, and anxious to
+escape the unprofitable trial.
+
+As the coffin was taken out to the hearse, my heart twisted and
+palpitated, as if a command had been laid upon it to follow, and not
+leave her. But I was imprisoned in the cage of Life--the Keeper would
+not let me go; her he had let loose.
+
+We were still obliged to sit an intolerable while, till all present
+had passed before her for the last time. When the hearse moved down
+the street, father, Arthur, and I were called, and assisted in our own
+chaise, as if we were helpless; the reins were put in father's hands,
+and the horse was led behind the hearse. At last the word was given,
+and the long procession began to move through the street, which was
+deserted. A cat ran out of a house, and scampered across the way;
+Arthur laughed, and father jumped nervously at the sound of his laugh.
+
+The graveyard was a mile outside the village--a sandy plain where a
+few stunted pines transplanted from the woods near it struggled to
+keep alive. As we turned from the street into the lane which led
+to it, and rode up a little hill where the sand was so deep that it
+muffled the wheels and feet of the horses, the whole round of the gray
+sky was visible. It hung low over us. I wished it to drop and blot out
+the vague nothings under it. We left the carriage at the palings and
+walked up the narrow path, among the mounds, where every stone was
+marked "Morgeson." Some so old that they were stained with blotches
+of yellow moss, slanting backward and forward, in protest against the
+folly of indicating what was no longer beneath them. The mounds were
+covered with mats of scanty, tangled grass, with here and there a rank
+spot of green. I was tracing the shape of one of those green patches
+when I felt father's arm tremble. I shut my eyes, but could not close
+my ears to the sound of the spadeful of sand which fell on the coffin.
+
+It was over. We must leave her to the creatures Veronica had seen. I
+looked upward, to discern the shadowy reflection behind the gray haze
+of cloud, where she might have paused a moment on her eternal journey
+to the eternal world of souls.
+
+It was the custom, and father took his hat off to thank his friends
+for their sympathy and attention. His lips moved, but no words were
+audible.
+
+The procession moved down the path again. Arthur's hand was in mine;
+he stamped his feet firmly on the sand, as if to break the oppressive
+silence which no one seemed disposed to disturb. The same ceremonies
+were performed in starting us homeward, by the same person, who let
+go the reins, and lifted his hat as we passed, as the final token of
+attention and respect.
+
+The windows were open; a wind was blowing through the house, the
+furniture was set in order, the doors were thrown back, but not a soul
+was there when we went in. The duties of friendship and tradition had
+been fulfilled; the neighbors had gone home to their avocations. For
+the public, the tragedy was over; all speculation on the degree of
+our grief, or our indifference, was settled. We could take off our
+mourning garments and our mourning countenance, now that we were
+alone; or we could give way to that anguish we are afraid and ashamed
+to show, except before the One above human emotion.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXV.
+
+
+Temperance stayed to the house-cleaning. It was lucky, she could not
+help saying, as house-cleaning must always be after a funeral, that
+it should have happened at the regular cleaning-time. She went back
+to her own house as soon as it was over. Father drove to Milford as
+usual; Arthur resumed his school, and Aunt Merce, who had at first
+busied herself in looking over her wardrobe, and selecting from it
+what she thought could be dyed, folded it away. She passed hours in
+mother's room, from which father had fled, crying over her Bible,
+looking in her boxes and drawers to feed her sorrow with the sight of
+the familiar things, alternating those periods with her old occupation
+of looking out of the windows. In regard to myself, and Veronica, she
+evinced a distress at the responsibility which, she feared, must
+rest upon her. Veronica, dark and silent, played such heart-piercing
+strains that father could not bear to hear her; so when she played,
+for he dared not ask her to desist, he went away. To me she had
+scarcely spoken since the funeral. She wore the same dress each
+day--one of black silk--and a small black mantle, pinned across her
+bosom. Soon the doors began to open and shut after their old fashion,
+and people came and went as of old on errands of begging or borrowing.
+
+At the table we felt a sense of haste; instead of lingering, as was
+our wont, we separated soon, with an indifferent air, as if we were
+called by business, not sent away by sorrow. But if our eyes fell on a
+certain chair, empty against the wall, a cutting pang was felt,
+which was not at all concealed; for there were sudden breaks in our
+commonplace talk, which diverged into wandering channels, betraying
+the tension of feeling.
+
+Many weeks passed, through which I endured an aching, aimless
+melancholy. My thoughts continually drifted through the vacuum in
+our atmosphere, and returned to impress me with a disbelief in the
+enjoyment, or necessity of keeping myself employed with the keys of an
+instrument, which, let me strike ever so cunningly, it was certain I
+could never obtain mastery over.
+
+One day I went to walk by the shore, for the first time since my
+return. When I set my foot on the ground, the intolerable light of the
+brilliant day blazed through me; I was luminously dark, for it blinded
+me. Picking my way over the beach, left bare by the tide, with my eyes
+fixed downward till I could see, I reached the point between our
+house and the lighthouse and turned toward the sea, inhaling its cool
+freshness. I climbed out to a flat, low rock, on the point; it was dry
+in the sun, and the weeds hanging from its sides were black and crisp;
+I put my woolen shawl on it, and stretched myself along its edge.
+Little pools meshed from the sea by the numberless rocks round me
+engrossed my attention. How white and pellucid was the shallow near
+me--no shadow but the shadow of my face bending over it--nothing to
+ripple its surface, but my imperceptible breath! By and by a bunch of
+knotted wrack floated in from the outside and lodged in a crevice; a
+minute creature with fringed feet darted from it and swam across
+it. After the knotted wrack came the fragment of a green and silky
+substance, delicate enough to have been the remnant of a web, woven
+in the palace of Circe. "There must be a current," I thought, "which
+sends them here." And I watched the inlet for other waifs; but nothing
+more came. Eye-like bubbles rose from among the fronds of the knotted
+wrack, and, sailing on uncertain voyages, broke one by one and were
+wrecked to nothingness. The last vanished; the pool showed me the
+motionless shadow of my face again, on which I pondered, till I
+suddenly became aware of a slow, internal oscillation, which increased
+till I felt in a strange tumult. I put my hand in the pool and
+troubled its surface.
+
+"Hail, Cassandra! Hail!"
+
+I sprang up the highest rock on the point, and looked seaward, to
+catch a glimpse of the flying Spirit who had touched me. My soul was
+brought in poise and quickened with the beauty before me! The wide,
+shimmering plain of sea--its aerial blue, stretching beyond the
+limits of my vision in one direction, upbearing transverse, cloud-like
+islands in another, varied and shadowed by shore and sky--mingled its
+essence with mine.
+
+The wind was coming; under the far horizon the mass of waters begun to
+undulate. Dark, spear-like clouds rose above it and menaced the east.
+The speedy wind tossed and teased the sea nearer and nearer, till I
+was surrounded by a gulf of milky green foam. As the tide rolled in
+I retreated, stepping back from rock to rock, round which the waves
+curled and hissed, baffled in their attempt to climb over me. I
+stopped on the verge of the tide-mark; the sea was seeking me and I
+must wait. It gave tongue as its lips touched my feet, roaring in the
+caves, falling on the level beaches with a mad, boundless joy!
+
+"Have then at life!" my senses cried. "We will possess its longing
+silence, rifle its waiting beauty. We will rise up in its light
+and warmth, and cry, 'Come, for we wait.' Its roar, its beauty, its
+madness--we will have--_all_." I turned and walked swiftly homeward,
+treading the ridges of white sand, the black drifts of sea-weed, as if
+they had been a smooth floor.
+
+Aunt Merce was at the door.
+
+"Now," she said, "we are going to have the long May storm. The gulls
+are flying round the lighthouse. How high the tide is! You must want
+your dinner. I wish you _would_ see to Fanny; she is lording it over
+us all."
+
+"Yes, yes, I will do it; you may depend on me. I will reign, and serve
+also."
+
+"Oh, Cassandra, _can_ you give up _yourself?_"
+
+"I must, I suppose. Confound the spray; it is flying against the
+windows."
+
+"Come in; your hair is wet, and your shawl is wringing. Now for a
+cold."
+
+"I never shall have any more colds, Aunt Merce; never mean to have
+anything to myself--entirely, you know."
+
+"You do me good, you dear girl; I love you"; and she began to cry.
+"There's nothing but cold ham and boiled rice for your dinner."
+
+"What time is it?"
+
+"Near three."
+
+I opened the door of the dining-room; the table was laid, and I walked
+round it, on a tour of inspection.
+
+"I thought you might as well have your dinner, all at once," said
+Fanny, by the window, with her feet tucked up on the rounds of her
+chair. "Here it is."
+
+"I perceive. Who arranged it?"
+
+"Me and Paddy Margaret."
+
+"How many tablecloths have we?"
+
+"Plenty. I thought as you didn't seem to care about any regular hour
+for dinner, and made us all wait, _I_ needn't be particular; besides,
+I am not the waiter, you know."
+
+She had set on the dishes used in the kitchen. I pulled off cloth and
+all--the dishes crashed, of course--and sat down on the floor, picking
+out the remains for my repast.
+
+"What will Mr. Morgeson say?" she asked, turning very red.
+
+"Shall you clear away this rubbish by the time he comes home?"
+
+"Why, I must, mustn't I?"
+
+"I hope so. Where's Veronica?"
+
+"She has been gone since twelve; Sam carried her to Temperance's
+house."
+
+I continued my meal. Fanny brought a chair for me, which I did not
+take. I scarcely tasted what I ate. A wall had risen up suddenly
+before me, which divided me from my dreams; I was inside it, on a
+prosaic domain I must henceforth be confined to. The unthought-of
+result of mother's death--disorganization, began to show itself. The
+individuality which had kept the weakness and faults of our family
+life in abeyance must have been powerful; and I had never recognized
+it! I attempted to analyze this influence, so strong, yet so
+invisibly produced. I thought of her mildness, her dreamy habits, her
+indifference, and her incapacity of comprehending natures unlike her
+own. Would endowment of character explain it--that faculty which
+we could not change, give, or take? Character was a mysterious and
+indestructible fact, and a fact that I had had little respect for.
+Upon what a false basis I had gone--a basis of extremes. I had seen
+men as trees walking; that was my experience.
+
+"You'll choke yourself with that dry bread," exclaimed Fanny, really
+concerned at my abstraction.
+
+"Where is my trunk? Did you unlock it?"
+
+"I took from it what you needed at the time: but it is not unpacked,
+and it is in the upper hall closet."
+
+She was picking up the broken delf meekly.
+
+"Did you see a small bag I brought? And where's my satchel? Good
+heavens! What has made me put off that letter so? For I have thought
+of it, and yet I have kept it back."
+
+"It is safe, in your closet, Miss Cassandra; and the box is there."
+
+"Aunt Merce," I called, "will you have nothing to eat?"
+
+She laughed hysterically, when she saw what I had done.
+
+"Where is Hepsey, Aunt Merce?"
+
+"She goes to bed after dinner, you know, for an hour or two."
+
+"She must go from here."
+
+"Oh!" they both chorused, "what for?"
+
+"She is too old."
+
+"She _has_ money, and a good house," said Aunt Merce, "if she must go.
+I wonder how Mary stood it so long."
+
+"Turn 'em off," said Fanny, "when they grow useless."
+
+Aunt Merce reddened, and looked hurt.
+
+"I shall keep _you_; look sharp now after your own disinterestedness."
+
+I wanted to go to my room, as I thought it time to arrange my trunks
+and boxes; besides, I needed rest--the sad luxury of reaction. But
+word was brought to the house that Arthur had disappeared, in company
+with two boys notorious for mischief. His teacher was afraid they
+might have put out to sea in a crazy sailboat. We were in a state of
+alarm till dark, when father came home, bringing him, having found
+him on the way to Milford. Veronica had not returned. It stormed
+violently, and father was vexed because a horse must be sent through
+the storm for her. At last I obtained the asylum of my room, in an
+irritable frame of mind, convinced that such would be my condition
+each day. Composure came with putting my drawers and shelves in order.
+The box with Desmond's flowers I threw into the fire, without opening
+it, ribbon and all, for I could not endure the sight of them. I
+unfolded the dresses I had worn on the occasions of my meeting him;
+even the collars and ribbons I had adorned myself with were conned
+with jealous, greedy eyes; in looking at them all other remembrances
+connected with my visit vanished. The handkerchief scented with
+violets, which I found in the pocket of the dress I had worn when I
+met him at Mrs. Hepburn's, made me childish. I was holding it when
+Veronica entered, bringing with her an atmosphere of dampness.
+
+"Violet! I like it. There is not one blooming yet, Temperance says.
+Why are they so late? There's only this pitiful snake-grass," holding
+up a bunch of drooping, pale blossoms.
+
+"Oh, Verry, can you forgive me? I did not forget these, but I felt the
+strangest disinclination to look them up." And I gave her the jewel
+box and letter.
+
+She seized them, and opened the box first.
+
+"Child-Verry."
+
+"I never was a child, you know; but I am always trying to find my
+childhood."
+
+She took a necklace from the box, composed of a single string of
+small, beautiful pearls, from which hung an egg-shaped amethyst of
+pure violet. She fastened the necklace round her throat.
+
+"It is as lucent as the moon," she said, looking down at the amethyst,
+which shed a watery light; "I wish you had given it to me before."
+
+Breaking the seal of the letter, with a twist of her mouth at the
+coat-of-arms impressed upon it, she shook out the closely written
+pages, and saying, "There is a volume," began reading. "It is
+very good," she observed at the end of the first page, "a regular
+composition," and went on with an air of increasing interest. "How
+does he look?" she asked, stopping again.
+
+"As if he longed to see you."
+
+Her eyes went in quest of him so far that I thought they must be
+startled by a sudden vision.
+
+"How did you find his family?"
+
+"Not like him much."
+
+"I knew that; he would not have loved me so suddenly had I not been
+wholly unlike any woman he had known."
+
+"His character is individual."
+
+"I should know that from his influence upon you."
+
+She looked at me wistfully, smoothed my hair with her cool hand, and
+resumed the letter.
+
+"He thinks he will not come to Surrey with you; asks me to tell him my
+wishes," she repeated rapidly, translating from the original. "What do
+I think of our future? How shall we propose any change? Will Cassandra
+describe her visit? Will she tell me that he thinks of going abroad?"
+
+She dropped the letter. "What pivot is he swinging on? What is he
+uncertain about?"
+
+"There must be more to read."
+
+She turned another page.
+
+"If I go to Switzerland (I think of going on account of family
+affairs), when shall I return? My family, of course, expected me to
+marry in their pale; that is, my mother rather prefers to select a
+wife for me than that I should do it. But, as you shall never come to
+Belem, her plans or wishes need make no difference to us. If Cassandra
+would be to us what she might, how things would clear! Don't you
+think, my love, that there should be the greatest sympathy between
+sisters?"
+
+I laughed.
+
+Verry said she did not like his letter much after all. He evidently
+thought her incapable of understanding ordinary matters. It was well,
+though; it made their love idyllic.
+
+"Let us speak of matters nearer home."
+
+"Let us go to my room; the storm is so loud this side of the house."
+
+"No; you must stay till the walls tremble. Have you seen, Verry, any
+work for me to do here?"
+
+"Everything is changed. I have tried to be as steady as when mother
+was here, but I cannot; I whirl with a vague idea of liberty. Did she
+keep the family conscience? Now that she has gone I feel responsible
+no more."
+
+"An idea of responsibility has come to me--what plain people call
+Duty."
+
+"I do not feel it," she cried mournfully. "I must yield to you then.
+You can be good.'
+
+"I must act so; but help me, Verry; I have contrary desires."
+
+"What do they find to feed on? What are they? Have you your evil
+spirit?"
+
+"Yes; a devil named Temperament."
+
+"Now teach me, Cassandra."
+
+"Not I. Go, and write Ben. Make excuses for my negligence toward you
+about his letter. Tell him to come. I shall write Alice and Helen this
+evening. We have been shut off from the world by the gate of Death;
+but we must come back."
+
+"One thing you may be sure of--though I shall be no help, I shall
+never annoy you. I know that my instincts are fine only in a
+self-centering direction; yours are different. I shall trust them.
+Since you have spoken, I perceive the shadows you have raised and
+must encounter. I retreat before them, admiring your discernment, and
+placing confidence in your powers. You convince if you do not win
+me. Who can guess how your every plan and hope of well-doing may be
+thwarted? I need say no more?"
+
+"Nothing more."
+
+She left the room. There would be no antagonism between us; but there
+would be pain--on one side. The distance which had kept us apart was
+shortened, but not annihilated. What could I expect? The silent and
+serene currents which flow from souls like Veronica's and Ben's, whose
+genius is not of the heart, refuse to enter a nature so turbulent as
+mine. But my destiny must be changed by such! It was taken for granted
+that my own spirit should not rule me. And with what reward? Any, but
+that of sympathy. But I muttered:
+
+                  "'I dimly see
+  My far-off doubtful purpose, as a mother
+  Conjectures of the features of her child
+  Ere it is born.'"
+
+The house trembled in the fury of the storm. The waves were hoarse
+with their vain bawling, and the wind shrieked at every crevice of
+chimney, door, and window. No answering excitement in me now! I had
+grown older.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI.
+
+
+A few days after, I went to Milford with father, to make some
+purchases. I sought a way to speak to him about the future, intending
+also to go on with various remarks; but it seemed difficult to begin.
+Observing him, as he contemplated the road before us, grave and
+abstracted, I recollected the difference between his age and mother's,
+and wondered at my blindness, while I compared the old man of my
+childhood, who existed for the express purpose of making money for the
+support and pleasure of his family, and to accommodate all its whims,
+with the man before me,--barely forty-eight, without a wrinkle in
+his firm, ruddy face, and only an occasional white hair, in ambuscade
+among his fair, curly locks. My exclusive right over him I felt
+doubtful about. I gave my attention to the road also, and remarked
+that I thought the season was late.
+
+"Yes. Why didn't Somers come home with you?"
+
+"I hardly know. The matter of the marriage was not settled, nor a plan
+of spending a summer abroad."
+
+"Will it suit him to vegetate in Surrey? Veronica will not leave
+home."
+
+"He has no ambition."
+
+"It is a curse to inherit money in this country. Mr. Somers writes
+that Ben will have three thousand a year; but that the disposal, at
+present, is not in his power."
+
+I explained as well as I could the Pickersgill property.
+
+"I see how it is. The children are waiting for the principal, and have
+exacted the income; and their lives have been warped for this reason.
+Ben has not begun life yet. But I like Somers exceedingly."
+
+"He is the best of them, his mother the worst."
+
+"Did you have a passage?"
+
+"She attempted."
+
+"I can give Veronica nothing beyond new clothes or furniture; whatever
+she likes that way. To draw money from my business is impossible. My
+business fluctuates like quicksilver, and it is enormously extended.
+If they should have two thousand a year, it would be a princely
+income; I should feel so now, if they had it clear of incumbrance."
+
+"Do you mean to say that your income does not amount to so much?"
+
+"My outgoes and incomes have for a long time been involved with each
+other. I do not separate them. I have never lived extravagantly. My
+luxury has been in doing too much."
+
+A cold feeling came over me.
+
+"By the way, Mr. Somers pays you compliments in his note. How old are
+you? I forget." He surveyed me with a doubtful look. Are you thin, or
+what is it?"
+
+"East wind, I guess. I am twenty-five."
+
+"And Veronica?"
+
+"Over twenty."
+
+"She must be married. I hope she will cut her practical eye-teeth
+then, for Somers's sake."
+
+"He does not require a practically minded woman."
+
+"What do men require!"
+
+"They require the souls and bodies of women, without having the
+trouble of knowing the difference between the one and other."
+
+"So bad as that? Whoa!"
+
+He stopped to pay toll, and the conversation stopped.
+
+On the way home, however, I found a place to begin my proposed talk,
+and burst out with, "I think Hepsey should leave us."
+
+"What ails Hepsey?"
+
+"She is so old, and is such a poke."
+
+"You must tell her yourself to go. She has money enough to be
+comfortable; I have some of it, as well as that of half the widows,
+old maids, and sailors' wives in Surrey,' being better than the
+Milford banks, they think."
+
+I felt another cold twinge.
+
+"What! are our servants your creditors?"
+
+"Servants--don't say that," he said harshly; "we do not have these
+distinctions here."
+
+"It costs you more than two thousand a year."
+
+"How do you know?"
+
+"Think of the hired people--the horses, the cows, pigs, hens, garden,
+fields--all costing more than they yield."
+
+"What has come over you? Did you ever think of money before? Tell me,
+have you ever been in our cellar?"
+
+"Yes, to look at the kittens."
+
+"In the store-room?"
+
+"For apples and sweetmeats."
+
+"Look into these matters, if you like; they never troubled your
+mother, at least I never knew that they did; but don't make your
+reforms tiresome."
+
+What encouragement!
+
+In the yard we saw Fanny contemplating a brood of hens, which were
+picking up corn before her. "Take Fanny for a coadjutor; she is
+eighteen, and a bright girl." She sprang to the chaise, and caught the
+reins, which he threw into her hands, unbuckled the girth, and, before
+I was out of sight, was leading the horse to water.
+
+"We might economize in the way of a stable-boy," I said.
+
+"Pooh! you are not indulgent. Here," whistling to Fanny, "let Sam do
+that." She pouted her lips at him, and he laughed.
+
+Aunt Merce gave me a letter the moment I entered. "It is in Alice's
+hand; sit down and read it."
+
+She took her handkerchief and a bit of flagroot from her pocket, to be
+ready for the sympathetic flow which she expected. But the letter was
+short. She had seen, it said, the announcement of mother's death in a
+newspaper at the time. She knew what a change it had made. We might
+be sure that we should never find our old level, however happy and
+forgetful we might grow. She bore us all in mind but sent no message,
+except to Aunt Merce; she must come to Rosville before summer was
+over. And could she assist me by taking Arthur for a while? Edward was
+a quiet, companionable lad, and Arthur would be safe with him at home
+and at school.
+
+"I wish you would go, Aunt Merce."
+
+"Yes, why not, Mercy?" asked father. "Would it be a good thing for
+Arthur, Cassandra? You know what Surrey is for a boy."
+
+"I know what Rosville was for a girl," I thought. It was an excellent
+plan for Arthur; but a feeling of repulsion at the idea of his going
+kept me silent.
+
+"Is it a good idea?" he repeated.
+
+"Yes, yes, father; send him by all means."
+
+Aunt Merce sighed. "If he goes, I must go; I can be the receptacle
+for his griefs and trials for a while at least, and be a little useful
+that way. You know, Locke, I am but a poor creature."
+
+"I was not aware of that fact, and am astonished to hear you say so,
+Mercy, when you know how far back I can remember. Mary shines all
+along those years, and you with her."
+
+"Locke, you are the kindest man in the world."
+
+"He feels fifty years younger than she appears to him," I thought; but
+I thanked him for his consideration for her.
+
+"Veronica has had a letter to-day from Mr. Somers. What did you buy in
+Milford?"
+
+"Mr. Morgeson," Fanny called, "Bumpus, the horse-jockey, is in the
+yard. He says Bill is spavined. I think he lies; he wants to trade."
+
+He went out with her.
+
+"Aunt Merce, let us be more together. What do you think of spending
+our evenings in the parlor?"
+
+"Do you expect to break up our habits?"
+
+"I would if I could."
+
+"Try Veronica."
+
+"I have."
+
+"Will she give up solitude?"
+
+"Bring your knitting to the parlor and see."
+
+Veronica came in to tell me that Ben was coming in a week.
+
+"Glad of it."
+
+"Sends love to you."
+
+"Obliged."
+
+"Calls me 'poor girl'; speaks beautifully of his remembrance of
+mother, and--"
+
+"What?"
+
+"Tells me to rely on your faithful soul; to trust in the reasonable
+hope of our remaining together; to try to establish an equality of
+tastes and habits between us. He tells me what I never knew,--that I
+need you--that we need each other."
+
+"Is that all?"
+
+"There is more for _me_."
+
+I left her. Closing the door of my room gently, I thought: "Ben is a
+good man; but for all that, I feel like blind Sampson just now. Could
+I lay my hands on the pillars which supported the temple he has built,
+I would wrench them from their foundation and surprise him by toppling
+the roof on his head."
+
+His arrival was delayed for a few days. When he came Surrey looked its
+best, for it was June; and though the winds were chilly, the grass was
+grown and the orchard leaves were crowding off the blossoms. The woods
+were vividly green. The fauns were playing there, and the sirens sang
+under the sea. But I had other thoughts; the fauns and sirens were
+not for me, perplexed as I was with household cares. Hepsey proposed
+staying another year, but I was firm; and she went, begging Fanny to
+go with her and be as a daughter. She declined; but the proposition
+influenced her to be troublesome to me. She told me she was of age
+now, and that no person had a right to control her. At present she was
+useful where she was, and might remain.
+
+"Will you have wages?" I asked her.
+
+"That is Mr. Morgeson's business."
+
+My anger would have pleased her, so I concealed it.
+
+"Your ability, Fanny, is better than your disposition. Me,--you do
+not suit at all; but it is certain that father depends on you for his
+small comforts, and Veronica likes you. I wish you would stay."
+
+She placed her arms akimbo.
+
+"I should like to find you out, exactly. I can't. I never could find
+out your mother; all the rest of you are as clear as daylight." And
+she snapped her fingers as if 'the rest' were between them.
+
+"You lack faith."
+
+"You believe that this is a beautiful world, don't you? I hate it. I
+should think _you_ had reason, too, for hating it. Pray what have you
+got?"
+
+"An ungrateful imp that was bequeathed to me."
+
+She saw father in the garden beckoning me. "He wants you. I do _not_
+hate the world always," she added, with her eyes fixed on him.
+
+I was disposed to trouble the still waters of our domestic life with
+theories. Our ways were too mechanical. The old-fashioned asceticism
+which considered air, sleep, food, as mere necessities was stupid. But
+I had no assistance; Veronica thought that her share of my plans must
+consist of a diligent notice of all that I did, which she gave, and
+then went to her own life, kept sacredly apart. Fanny laughed in her
+sleeve and took another side--the practical, and shone in it, becoming
+in fact the true manager and worker, while I played. Aunt Merce was
+helpless. She neglected her former cares; and father was, what he
+always had been at home,--heedless and indifferent.
+
+One morning we stood on the landing stair--Ben, Veronica, and
+myself--looking from the window. A silver mist so thinly wrapped the
+orchard that the wet, shining leaves thrust themselves through in
+patches. Birds were singing beneath, feeling the warmth of the sun,
+scarcely hid. The young leaves and blossoms steeping in the mist sent
+up a delicious odor.
+
+"I like Surrey better and better," he said; "the atmosphere suits me."
+
+"Oh, I am glad," answered Verry. "I could never go away. It is not
+beautiful, I know; in fact, it is meager when it comes to be talked
+of; but there are suggestions here which occasionally stimulate me."
+
+"Verry, can you keep people away from me when I live here?"
+
+"I do not like that feeling in you."
+
+"I like fishermen."
+
+"And a boat?"
+
+"Yes, I'll have a boat."
+
+"I shall never go out with you."
+
+"Cass will. I shall cruise with her, and you, in your house, need not
+see us depart. Eric the Red made excursions in this region. We will
+skirt the shores, which are the same, nearly, as when he sailed from
+them, with his Northmen; and the ancient barnacles will think, when
+they see her fair hair, which she will let ripple around her stately
+shoulders, that he has come back with his bride."
+
+Verry looked with delight at him and then at me. "Her long, yellow
+hair and her stately shoulders," she repeated.
+
+"Will you go?" he asked.
+
+"Of course," I answered, going downstairs. I happened to look back
+on the way. His arm was round Verry, but he was looking after me. He
+withdrew it as our eyes met, and came down; but she remained, looking
+from the window. We went into the parlor, and I shut the door.
+
+"Now then," I said.
+
+He took a note from his pocket and gave it to me.
+
+I broke its seal, and read: "Tell Ben, before you can reflect upon it,
+that _I_ will go abroad, and then repent of it,--as I shall. Desmond."
+
+"'Tell Ben,'" I repeated aloud, "'that _I_ will go abroad. Desmond.'"
+
+"Do you guess, as he does, that my reason for going was that I might
+be kept aloof from all sight and sound of you and him? In the result
+toward which I saw _you_ drive I could have no part."
+
+"Stay; I know that he will go."
+
+"You do not know. Nor do you know what such a man is when--" checking
+himself.
+
+"He is in love?"
+
+"If you choose to call it that."
+
+"I do."
+
+All there was to say should be said now; but I felt more agitated
+than was my wont. These feelings, not according with my housewifely
+condition, upset me. I looked at him; he began to walk about, taking
+up a book, which he leaned his head over, and whose covers he bent
+back till they cracked.
+
+"You would read me that way," I said.
+
+"It is rather your way of reading."
+
+"Can you remember that Desmond and I influence each other to act
+alike? And that we comprehend each other without collision? I
+love him, as a mature woman may love,--once, Ben, only once; the
+fire-tipped arrows rarely pierce soul and sense, blood and brain."
+
+He made a gesture, expressive of contempt.
+
+"Men are different; he is different."
+
+"You have already spoken for me, and, I suppose, you will for him."
+
+"I venture to. Desmond is a violent, tyrannical, sensual man; his
+perceptions are his pulses. That he is handsome, clever, resolute, and
+sings well, I can admit; but no more."
+
+"We will not bandy his merits or his demerits between us. Let us
+observe him. And now, tell me,--what am I?"
+
+"You have been my delight and misery ever since I knew you. I saw you
+first, so impetuous, yet self-contained! Incapable of insincerity,
+devoid of affection and courageously naturally beautiful. Then, to
+my amazement, I saw that, unlike most women, you understood your
+instincts; that you dared to define them, and were impious enough to
+follow them. You debased my ideal, you confused me, also, for I could
+never affirm that you were wrong; forcing me to consult abstractions,
+they gave a verdict in your favor, which almost unsexed you in my
+estimation. I must own that the man who is willing to marry you
+has more courage than I have. Is it strange that when I found your
+counterpart, Veronica, that I yielded? Her delicate, pure, ignorant
+soul suggests to me eternal repose."
+
+"It is not necessary that you should fatigue your mind with
+abstractions concerning her. It will be the literal you will hunger
+for, dear Ben."
+
+"Damn it! the world has got a twist in it, and we all go round with
+it, devilishly awry."
+
+I said no more. He had defined my limits, he would, as far as
+possible, control me without pity or compassion, thinking, probably,
+that I needed none; the powers he had always given me credit for must
+be sufficing. I could not comprehend him. How was it that he and Verry
+gave me such horrible pain? Was it exceptional? Could I claim nothing
+from women? Had they thought me an anomaly?--while I thought it was
+Veronica who was called peculiar and original? The end of it all must
+be for me to assimilate with their happiness!
+
+"Well?" he said.
+
+"Thank you."
+
+Then Veronica came, swinging her bonnet. "The _Sagamore_ has arrived,
+and I am going to stand on the wharf to count the sailors, and learn
+if they have all come home. Will you go, Ben?"
+
+He complied, and I was left alone.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII.
+
+
+When Ben left Surrey, I sent no message or letter by him, and he asked
+for none. But at once I wrote to Desmond, and did not finish my letter
+till after midnight. Intoxicated with the liberty my pen offered me,
+I roamed over a wide field of paper. The next morning I burnt it. But
+there was something to be said to him before his departure, and again
+I wrote. I might have condensed still more. In this way--
+
+  VESTIGIA RETRORSUM.
+
+  CHARLES MORGESON.
+
+When the answer came I reflected before I read it, that it might be
+the last link of the chain between us. Not a bright one at the best,
+nor garlanded with flowers, nor was it metal, silver, or gold. There
+was rust on it, it was corroded, for it was forged out of his and my
+substance.
+
+I read it: "I am yours, as I have been, since the night I asked you
+'How came those scars?' Did you guess that I read your story? I go
+from you with one idea; I love you, and I _must_ go. Brave woman! you
+have shamed me to death almost."
+
+He sent me a watch. I was to wear it from the second of July. It was
+small and plain, but there were a few words scratched inside the case
+with the point of a knife, which I read every day. Veronica's eye fell
+on it the first time I put it on.
+
+"What time is it?"
+
+"Near one."
+
+"I thought, from the look of it, that it might be near two."
+
+"Don't mar my ideal of you, Verry, by growing witty."
+
+She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess you found it washed ashore, among
+the rocks; was it bruised?"
+
+"A man gave it to me."
+
+"A merman, who fills the sea-halls with a voice of power?"
+
+"May be."
+
+"Tut, Ben gave it to you. It is a kind of housekeepish present; did he
+add scissors and needle-case?"
+
+"What if the merman should take me some day to the 'pale sea-groves
+straight and high?'"
+
+"You must never, never go. You cannot leave me, Cass!" She grasped my
+sleeve, and pulled me round. "How much was there for you to do in the
+life before us, which you talked about?"
+
+"I remember. There is much, to be sure."
+
+Fanny's quick eye caught the glitter of the watch. The mystery teased
+her, but she said nothing.
+
+Aunt Merce had gone to Rosville with Arthur. There was no visitor with
+us; there had been none beside Ben since mother died. All seemed kept
+at bay. I wrote to Helen to come and pass the summer, but her child
+was too young for such a journey, she concluded. Ben had sailed for
+Switzerland. The summer, whose biography like an insignificant life
+must be written in a few words, was a long one to live through. It
+happened to be a dry season, which was unfrequent on our coast. Days
+rolled by without the variation of wind, rain, or hazy weather. The
+sky was an opaque blue till noon, when solid white clouds rose in the
+north, and sailed seaward, or barred the sunset, which turned them
+crimson and black. The mown fields grew yellow under the stare of
+the brassy sun, and the leaves cracked and curled for the want of
+moisture. It was dull in the village, no ships were building, none
+sailed, none arrived. But father was more absorbed than ever, more
+away from home. He wrote often in the evening, and pored over ledgers
+with his bookkeeper. Late at night I found him sorting and reading
+papers. He forgot us. But Fanny, as he grew forgetful, improved as
+housekeeper. Her energy was untiring; she waited so much on him that
+I grew forgetful of him. Veronica was the same as before; her room
+was pleasant with color and perfume, the same delicate pains with her
+dress each day was taken. She looked as fair as a lily, as serene as
+the lake on which it floats, except when Fanny tried her. With me she
+never lost temper. But I saw little of her; she was as fixed in her
+individual pursuits as ever.
+
+There were intervals now when all my grief for mother returned, and
+I sat in my darkened chamber, recalling with a sad persistence her
+gestures, her motions, the tones of her voice, through all the past
+back to my first remembrance. The places she inhabited, her opinions
+and her actions I commented on with a minuteness that allowed no
+detail to escape. When my thoughts turned from her, it seemed as if
+she were newly lost in the vast and wandering Universe of the Dead,
+whence I had brought her.
+
+In September a letter came from Ben, which promised a return by the
+last of October. With the ruffling autumnal breezes my stagnation
+vanished, and I began my shore life again in a mood which made memory
+like hope; but staying out too late one evening, I came home in a
+chill. From the chill I went to a fever, which lasted some days.
+Veronica came every day to see me, and groaned over my hair, which
+fell off, but she could not stay long, the smell of medicine made her
+ill, the dark room gave her an uneasiness; besides, she did not know
+what she should say. I sent her away always. Fanny took care of me
+till I was able to move about the room, then she absented herself most
+of the time. One afternoon Veronica came to tell me that Margaret, the
+Irish girl, was going; she supposed that Fanny was insufferable, and
+that she could not stay.
+
+"I must be well by to-morrow," I said.
+
+The next day I went down stairs, and was greeted with the epithet of
+"Scarecrow."
+
+"Do you feel pretty strong?" asked Fanny, with a peculiar accent, when
+we happened to be alone.
+
+"What is the matter? Out with it!"
+
+"Something's going to turn up here; something ails Mr. Morgeson."
+
+I guess his ailment.
+
+"He is going to fail, he is smashed all to nothing. He knows what will
+be said about him, yet he goes about with perfect calmness. But he
+feels it. I tried him this morning, I gave him tea instead of coffee,
+and he didn't know it!"
+
+"Margaret's gone?"
+
+"There must be rumors; for she asked him for her wages a day or two
+ago. He paid her, and said she had better go."
+
+I examined my hands involuntarily. She tittered.
+
+"How easily you will wash the long-necked glasses and pitchers, with
+your slim hand!"
+
+I dropped into a mental calculation, respecting the cost of an
+entire change of wardrobe suitable to our reduced circumstances, and
+speculated on a neat cottage-style of cookery.
+
+"I think I must go, too," she said with cunning eyes.
+
+"How can you bear to, when there will be so much trouble for you to
+enjoy?"
+
+"How tired you look, Cass," said Veronica, slipping in quietly. "What
+are you talking about? Has Fanny been tormenting you?"
+
+"Of course," she answered. "But if am not mistaken, you will be
+tormented by others besides me."
+
+"Go out!" said Veronica. "Leave us, pale pest."
+
+"You may want me here yet."
+
+"What does she mean, Cass?"
+
+I hesitated.
+
+"Tell me," she said, in her imperative, gentle voice. "What is there
+that I cannot know?"
+
+"Now she is what you call high-toned, isn't it?" inquired Fanny.
+
+Veronica threw her book at her.
+
+"The truth is, ladies, that your father, the principal man in Surrey,
+is not worth a dollar. What do you think of it? And how will you come
+off the high horse?" And Fanny drummed on the table energetically.
+
+"Did you really think of going, Fanny?" asked Veronica. "You will
+stay, and do better than ever, for if you attempt to go, I shall bring
+you back."
+
+This was the invitation she wanted, and was satisfied with.
+
+"I must give up flowers," said Veronica, "of course."
+
+"I wonder if we shall keep pigs this fall?" said Fanny. "Must we sit
+in the free seats in the meeting-house? It will be fine for the boys
+to drop paper balls on our heads from the gallery. I'd like to see
+them do it, though," she concluded, as if she felt that such an insult
+would infringe upon her rights.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII.
+
+
+It was true. Locke Morgeson had been insolvent for five years. All
+this time he had thrown ballast out from every side in the shape
+of various ventures, which he trusted would lighten the ship, that,
+nevertheless, drove steadily on to ruin. Then he steered blindly,
+straining his credit to the utmost; and then--the crash. His losses
+were so extended and gradual that the public were not aware of his
+condition till he announced it. There was a general exasperation
+against him. The Morgeson family rose up with one accord to represent
+the public mind, which drove Veronica wild.
+
+"Have you acted wrongly, father?" she asked.
+
+"I have confessed, Verry, will that suit you!"
+
+Our house was thronged for several days. "Pay us," cried the female
+portion of his creditors. In vain father represented that he was still
+young--that his business days were not over--that they must wait, for
+paid they should be. "Pay us now, for we are women," they still cried.
+Fanny opened the doors for these persons as wide as possible when they
+came, and shut them with a bang when they went, astonishing them
+with a satirical politeness, or confounding them with an impertinent
+silence. The important creditors held meetings to agree what should
+be done, and effected an arrangement by which his property was left
+in his hands for three years, to arrange for the benefit of his
+creditors. The arrangement proved that his integrity was not
+suspected; but it was an ingenious punishment, that he should keep in
+sight, improve, or change, for others, what had been his own. I was
+glad when he decided to sell his real estate and personal property,
+and trust to the ships alone, but would build no more. I begged him to
+keep our house till Ben should return. He consented to wait; but I
+did not tell Verry what I had done. All the houses he owned, lots,
+carriages, horses, domestic stock, the fields lying round our
+house--were sold. When he began to sell, the fury of retrenchment
+seized him, and he laid out a life of self-denial for us three.
+Arthur's ten thousand dollars were safe, who was therefore provided
+for. He would bring wood and water for us; the rest we must do, with
+Fanny's help. We could dine in the kitchen, and put our beds in one
+room; by shutting up the house in part, we should have less labor
+to perform. We attempted to carry out his ideas, but Veronica was so
+dreadfully in Fanny's way and mine, that we were obliged to entreat
+her to resume her old rôle. As for Fanny, she was happy--working
+like a beaver day and night. Father was much at home, and took an
+extraordinary interest in the small details that Fanny carried out.
+
+When Temperance heard of these arrangements, she came down with Abram
+in their green and yellow wagon. Temperance drove the shaggy old white
+horse, for Abram was intrusted with the care of a meal bag, in which
+were fastened a cock and four hens. We should see, she said when she
+let them out, whether we were to keep hens or not. Was Veronica to go
+without new-laid eggs? Had he sold the cat, she sarcastically inquired
+of father.
+
+"Who is going to do your washing, girls?" she asked, taking off her
+bonnet.
+
+"We all do it."
+
+"Now I shall die a-laughing!" But she contradicted herself by crying
+heartily. "One day in every week, I tell _you_, I am coming; and Fanny
+and I can do the washing in a jiffy."
+
+"Sure," said Abram, "you can; the sass is in."
+
+"Sass or no sass, I'm coming."
+
+She made me laugh for the first time in a month. I was too tired
+generally to be merry, with my endeavors to carry out father's wishes,
+and keep up the old aspect of the house. When she left us we all felt
+more cheerful. Aunt Merce wanted to come home, but Verry and I thought
+she had better stay at Rosville. We could not deny it to ourselves,
+that home was sadly altered, or that we were melancholy; and though
+we never needed her more, we begged her not to come. Happily father's
+zeal soon died away. A boy was hired, and as there was no out-of-doors
+work for him to do, he relieved Fanny, who in her turn relieved
+me. Finding time to look into myself, I perceived a change in my
+estimation of father; a vague impression of weakness in him troubled
+me. I also discovered that I had lost my atmosphere. My life was
+coarse, hard, colorless! I lived in an insignificant country
+village; I was poor. My theories had failed; my practice was like my
+moods--variable. But I concluded that if _to-day_ would go on without
+bestowing upon me sharp pains, depriving me of sleep, mutilating me
+with an accident, or sending a disaster to those belonging to me, I
+would be content. Arthur held out a hope, by writing me, that he meant
+to support me handsomely. He wished me to send him some shirt studs;
+and told me to keep the red horse. He had heard that I was very
+handsome when I was in Rosville. A girl had asked him how I looked
+now. When he told her I was handsomer than any woman Rosville could
+boast of, she laughed.
+
+October had gone, and we had not heard from Ben. Veronica came to my
+room of nights, and listened to wind and sea, as she never had before.
+Sometimes she was there long after I had gone to bed, to look out of
+the windows. If it was calm, she went away quietly; if the sea was
+rough, she was sorrowful, but said nothing. The lethargic summer had
+given way to a boisterous autumn of cold, gray weather, driving rains,
+and hollow gales. At last he came--to Veronica first. He gave a deep
+breath of delight when he stood again on the hearth-rug, before our
+now unwonted parlor fire. The sight of his ruddy face, vigorous form,
+and gay voice made me as merry as the attendants of a feast are when
+they inhale the odor of the viands they carry, hear the gurgle of the
+wine they pour, and echo the laughter of the guests.
+
+There was much to tell that astonished him, but he could not be
+depressed; everything must be arranged to suit us. He would buy the
+house, provided he could pay for it in instalments. Did I know that
+his mother had docked his allowance as soon as she knew that he would
+marry Verry?
+
+"How should I know it?"
+
+I had not heard then that Desmond's was doubled, when she heard his
+intention of going to Spain.
+
+"How should I know that?"
+
+One thing I should learn, however--and that was, that Desmond had
+begged his mother to make no change in the disposition of her income.
+He had declined the extra allowance, and then accepted it, to offer
+him--Ben. Was not that astonishing?
+
+"Did you take it?"
+
+"No; but pa did."
+
+All he could call his was fifteen hundred a year. Was that enough for
+them to live on, and pay a little every year for the house? Could we
+all live there together, just the same? Would we, he asked father, and
+allow him to be an inmate?
+
+Father shook hands with him so violently that he winced; and Verry
+crumpled up a handful of his tawny locks and kissed them, whereat he
+said: "Are you grown a human woman?"
+
+About the wedding? He could only stay to appoint a time, for he must
+post to Belem. It must be very soon.
+
+"In a year or two," said Verry.
+
+"Verry!"
+
+"In three weeks, then."
+
+"From to-day?"
+
+"No, that will be the date of the wreck of the _Locke Morgeson_; but
+three weeks from to-morrow. Must we have anybody here, Ben?"
+
+"Helen, and Alice, Cassandra?"
+
+"Certainly."
+
+"I have no friends," said Verry.
+
+"What will you wear, Verry?" I asked.
+
+"Why, this dress," designating her old black silk. Her eyes filled
+with tears, and went on a pilgrimage toward the unknown heaven where
+our mother was. _She_ could only come to the wedding as a ghost. I
+imagined her flitting through the empty spaces, from room to room,
+scared and troubled by the pressure of mortal life around her.
+
+"I shall not wear white," Verry said hastily.
+
+The very day Ben went to Belem one of father's outstanding ships
+arrived. She came into the harbor presenting the unusual sight of
+trying oil on deck. Black and greasy from hull to spar, she was a
+pleasant sight, for she was full of sperm oil. Little boys ran down to
+the house to inform us of that fact before she was moored. "Wouldn't
+Mr. Morgeson be all right now that his luck had changed?" they asked.
+
+At supper father said "By George!" several times, by that oath
+resuming something of his old self. "Those women can now be paid," he
+said. "If I could have held out till now, I could have gone on without
+failing. This is the first good voyage the _Oswego_ ever made me; if
+another ship, the _Adamant_, will come full while oil is high, I shall
+arrange matters with my creditors before the three years are up. To
+hold my own again--ah! I never will venture all upon the uncertain
+field of the sea."
+
+The _Oswego's_ captain sent us a box of shells next day, and a small
+Portuguese boy, named Manuel--a handsome, black-eyed, husky-voiced
+fellow, in a red shirt, which was bound round his waist with a leather
+belt, from which hung a sailor's sheath-knife.
+
+"He is volcanic," said Verry.
+
+"The Portuguese are all handsome," said Fanny, poking him, to see if
+he would notice it. But he did not remove his eyes from Veronica.
+
+"He shall be your page, Verry."
+
+The next night a message came to us that Abram was dying. If we ever
+meant to come, Temperance sent word, some of us might come now; but
+she would rather have Mr. Morgeson. Fanny insisted upon going with him
+to carry a lantern. Manuel offered her his knife, when he comprehended
+that she was going through a dark road.
+
+"You are a perfect heathen. There's nothing to be afraid of, except
+that Mr. Morgeson may walk into a ditch; will a knife keep us out of
+that?"
+
+"Knife is good--it kills," he said, showing his white, vegetable-ivory
+teeth.
+
+Verry and I sat up till they returned, at two in the morning. Abram
+had died about midnight, distressed to the last with worldly cares.
+"He asked," said father, "if I remembered his poor boy, whose chest
+never came home, and wished to hear some one read a hymn; Temperance
+broke down when I read it, while Fanny cried hysterically."
+
+"I was freezing cold," she answered haughtily.
+
+In the morning Verry and I started for Temperance's house; but she
+waited on the doorstep till I had inquired whether we were wanted. I
+called her in, for Temperance asked for her as soon as she saw me.
+
+"He was a good man, girls," she said with emphasis.
+
+"Indeed he was."
+
+"A little mean, I spose."
+
+I put in a demurrer; her face cleared instantly.
+
+"He thought a great deal of your folks."
+
+"And a great deal of you."
+
+"Oh, what a loss I have met with! He had just bought a first-rate
+overcoat."
+
+"But Temperance," said Verry, with a lamentable candor, "you can come
+back now."
+
+"Can't you wait for him to be put into the ground?" And she tried to
+look shocked, but failed.
+
+A friend entered with a doleful face, and Temperance groaned slightly.
+
+"It is all done complete now, Mis Handy. He looks as easy as if he
+slept, he was _so_ limber."
+
+"Yes, yes," answered Temperance, starting up, and hurrying us out
+of the room, pinching me, with a significant look at Verry. She was
+afraid that her feelings might be distressed. "The funeral will be day
+after to-morrow. Don't come; your father will be all that must be here
+of the family. I shall shut up the house and come straight to you. I
+know that I am needed; but you mustn't say a word about pay--I can't
+stand it, I have had too much affliction to be pestered about wages."
+
+Verry hugged her, and Temperance shed the honestest tears of the day
+then, she was so gratified at Verry's fondness. Before Abram had been
+buried a week, she was back again--a fixture, although she declared
+that she had only come for a spell, as we might know by the size
+of the bundle she had, showing us one, tied in a blue cotton
+handkerchief. What should she stay from her own house for, when as
+good a man as ever lived left it to her? We knew that she merely
+comforted a tender conscience by praising the departed, for whom she
+had small respect when living. We felt her brightening influence, but
+Fanny sulked, feeling dethroned.
+
+Ben Pickersgill Somers and Veronica Morgeson were "published."
+Contrary to the usual custom, Verry went to hear her own banns read
+at the church. She must do all she could, she told me, to realize that
+she was to be married; had I any thoughts about it, with which I might
+aid her? She thought it strange that people should marry, and could
+not decide whether it was the sublimest or the most inglorious act of
+one's life. I begged her to think about what she should wear--the time
+was passing. Father gave me so small a sum for the occasion, I had
+little opportunity for the splendid; but I purchased what Veronica
+wanted for a dress, and superintended the making of it--black lace
+over lavender-colored silk. She said no more about it; but I observed
+that she put in order all her possessions, as if she were going to
+undertake a long and uncertain journey. Every box and drawer was
+arranged. All her clothes were repaired, refolded, and laid away;
+every article was refreshed by a turn or shake-up. She made her room a
+miracle of cleanliness. What she called rubbish she destroyed--her old
+papers, things with chipped edges, or those that were defaced by wear.
+She went once to Milford in the time, and bought a purple Angola rug,
+which she put before her arm-chair, and two small silver cups, with
+covers; in one was a perfume which Ben liked, the other was empty.
+Her favorite blank-books were laid on a shelf, and the table, with its
+inkstand and portfolio, was pushed against the wall. The last ornament
+which she added to her room was a beautifully woven mat of evergreens,
+with which she concealed the picture of the avenue and the nameless
+man. After it was done, she inhabited my room, appearing to feel at
+home, and glad to have me with her. As the time drew near, she grew
+silent, and did not play at all. Temperance watched her with anxiety.
+"If ever she can have one of those nervous spells again she will have
+one now," she said. "Don't let her dream. I am turning myself inside
+out to keep up her appetite."
+
+"Do you ever feel worried about _me_, Tempy?"
+
+"Lord 'a marcy! you great, strong thing, why should I? May be you do
+want a little praise. I never saw anybody get along as well as you do,
+nowadays; you have altered very much; I never would have believed it."
+
+"What _was_ the trouble with me?"
+
+"_I_ always stuck up for you, gracious knows. Do you know what has
+been said of you in Surrey?"
+
+"No."
+
+"Then I shan't tell you; if I were you, though, I shouldn't trouble
+myself to be overpolite to the folks who have come and gone here, nigh
+on to twenty years,--hang 'em!"
+
+A few days before the wedding Aunt Merce and Arthur came home. Arthur
+was shy at first regarding the great change, but being agreeably
+disappointed, grew lively. I perceived that Aunt Merce had aged since
+mother's death; her manner was changed; the same objects no longer
+possessed an interest. She looked at me penitentially. "I wish I
+could say," she said, "what I used to say to you,--that you were
+'possessed.' Now that there is no occasion for me to comprehend
+people, I begin to. My education began wrong end foremost. I think
+Mary's death has taught me something. Do you think of her? She was the
+love of my life."
+
+"Women do keep stupid a long time; but I think they are capable of
+growth, beyond the period when men cease to grow or change."
+
+"Oh, I don't know anything about men, you know."
+
+Temperance and I cleaned the house, opened every room, and made every
+fire-place ready for a fire--a fire being the chief luxury which I
+could command. Baking went on up to within a day of the wedding, under
+Hepsey's supervision, who had been summoned as a helper; Fanny was
+busy everywhere.
+
+"Mr. Morgeson," said Temperance, "the furniture is too darned shabby
+for a wedding."
+
+"It is not mine, you must remember."
+
+"Plague take the creditors! they know as well as I that you turned
+Surrey from a herring-weir into a whaling-port, and that the houses
+they live in were built out of the wages you gave them. I am thankful
+that most of them have water in their cellars."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX.
+
+
+The day came. Alice Morgeson, and Helen with her baby, arrived the
+night before; and Ben and Mr. Somers drove from Milford early in the
+afternoon. Mr. Somers was affable and patronizing. When introduced to
+Veronica, he betrayed astonishment. "She is not like you, Cassandra.
+Are you in delicate health, my dear!" addressing her.
+
+"I have a peculiar constitution, I believe." He made excuses to her
+for Mrs. Somers and his daughters to which she answered not a word.
+He was in danger of being embarrassed, and I enticed him away from
+her--not before she whispered gravely, "Why did _he_ come?" I went
+over the house with him, he remarking on its situation, for sun and
+shade, and protection from, or exposure to, the winds; and tasting
+the water, pronounced it excellent. He thought I had a true idea of
+hospitality; the fires everywhere proclaimed that. Temperance had the
+air of a retainer; there was an atmosphere about our premises which
+placed them at a distance from the present. Then Alice came to my
+assistance and entertained him so well that I could leave him.
+
+We had invited a few friends and relations to witness the ceremony, at
+eight o'clock. I had been consulted so often on various matters that
+it was dark before I finished my tasks. The last was to arrange some
+flowers I had ordered in Milford. I kept a bunch of them in reserve
+for Verry's plate; for we were to have a supper, at father's request,
+who thought it would be less tiresome to feed the guests than to talk
+to them. Verry did not know this, though she had asked several times
+why we were all so busy.
+
+It was near seven when I went upstairs to find her. Temperance had
+sent Manuel and Fanny to the different rooms with tea, bread and
+butter, and the message that it was all we were to have at present.
+Ben had been extremely silent since his arrival, and disposed to
+reading. I looked over his shoulder once, and saw that it was "Scott's
+Life of Napoleon" he perused; and an hour after, being obliged to ask
+him a question, saw him still at the same page. He was now dressing
+probably. Helen and Alice were in their rooms. Mr. Somers was napping
+on the parlor sofa; father was meditating at his old post in the
+dining-room and smoking. It was a familiar picture; but there was
+a rent in the canvas and a figure was missing--she who had been its
+light!
+
+I found Verry sound asleep on the sofa in my room.
+
+A glass full of milk was on the floor beside her, and a plate with a
+slice of bread. The lamp had been lighted by some one, and carefully
+shaded from her face. She had been restless, I thought, for her hair
+had fallen out of the comb and half covered her face, which was like
+marble in its whiteness and repose. Her right arm was extended; I took
+her hand, and her warm, humid fingers closed over mine.
+
+"Wake up, Verry; it is time to be married."
+
+She opened her eyes without stirring and fixed them upon me. "Do you
+know any man who is like Ben? Or was it he whom I have just left in
+the dark world of sleep?"
+
+"I know his brother, who is like him, but dark in complexion--and his
+hair is black."
+
+"His hair is not black."
+
+I rushed out of the room, muttering some excuse, came back and
+arranged her toilette; but she remained with her arm still extended,
+and continued:
+
+"It was a strange place where we met; curious, dusty old trees grew
+about it. He was cutting the back of one with a dagger, and the pieces
+he carved out fell to the ground, as if they were elastic. He made me
+pick them up, though I wished to listen to a man who was lying under
+one of the trees, wrapped in a cloak, keeping time with _his_ dagger,
+and singing a wild air.
+
+"'What do you see?' said the first.
+
+"'A letter on every piece,' I answered, and spelt Cassandra. 'Are you
+Ben transformed?' I asked, for he had his features, his air, though
+he was a swarthy, spare man, with black, curly hair, dashed with gray;
+but he pricked my arm with his dagger, and said, 'Go on.' I picked up
+the rest, and spelt 'Somers.'
+
+"'Cassandra Somers! now tell her,' he whispered, turning me gently
+from him, with a hand precisely like Ben's."
+
+"No, it is handsomer," I muttered.
+
+"Before me was a space of sea. Before I crossed I wanted to hear that
+wild music; but your voice broke my dream."
+
+She sat up and unbuttoned her sleeve. _As I live_, there was a red
+mark on her arm above her elbow!
+
+I crushed my hands together and set my teeth, for I would have kissed
+the mark and washed it with my tears. But Verry must not be agitated
+now. She divined my feelings for the first time in her life. "I have
+indeed been in a long sleep, as far _you_ are concerned; this means
+something. My blindness is removed by a dream. Do you despise me?" Two
+large, limpid tears dropped down her smooth cheeks without ruffling
+the expression of her face.
+
+"I have prided myself upon my delicacy of feeling. You may have
+remarked that I considered myself your superior?"
+
+"You are all wrong. I have no delicate feelings at all; they are as
+coarse and fibrous as the husk of a cocoanut. Do for heaven's sake get
+up and let me dress you."
+
+She burst into laughter. "Bring me some water, then."
+
+I brought her a bowl full, and stood near her with a towel; but
+she splashed it over me, and dribbled her hands in it till I was in
+despair. I took it away and wiped her face, which looked at me so
+childly, so elfish, so willful, and so tenderly, that I took it
+between my hands and kissed it. I pulled her up to a chair, for she
+was growing willful every moment; but she must be humored. I combed
+her hair, put on her shoes and stockings, and in short dressed her.
+Father came up and begged me to hurry, as everybody had come. I sent
+him for Ben, who came with a pale, happy face and shining eyes. She
+looked at him seriously. "I like you best," she said.
+
+"It _is_ time you said that. Oh, Verry! how lovely you are!"
+
+"I feel so."
+
+"Come, come," urged father.
+
+"I do not want these gloves," she said, dropping them.
+
+Ben slipped on the third finger of her left hand a plain ring. She
+kissed it, and he looked as if about to be translated.
+
+"Forever, Verry?"
+
+"Forever."
+
+"Wait a moment," I said, "I want a collar," giving a glance into the
+glass. What a starved, thin, haggard face I saw, with its border of
+pale hair! Whose were those wide, pitiful, robbed eyes?
+
+I hurried into the room in advance to show them their place in front
+of a screen of plants. When they entered the company rose, and the
+ceremony was performed. Veronica's dress was commented upon and not
+approved of; being black, it was considered ominous. She looked like
+a 'cloud with a silver lining.' I also made my comments. Temperance,
+whose tearful eyes were fixed on her darling, was unconscious that she
+had taken from her pocket, and was flourishing, a large red and yellow
+silk handkerchief, while the cambric one she intended to use was
+neatly folded in her left hand. She wore the famous plum-colored silk,
+old style, which had come into a fortune in the way of wrinkles. A
+large bow of black ribbon testified that she was in mourning. Hepsey
+rubbed her thumb across her fingers with the vacant air of habit. I
+glanced at Alice; she was looking intently at Fanny, whose eyes were
+fixed upon father. A strange feeling of annoyance troubled me, but
+the ceremony was over. Arthur congratulated himself on having a big
+brother. Ben was so pale, and wore so exalted an expression, that he
+agitated me almost beyond control.
+
+After the general shaking of hands, there came retorts for me. "When
+shall we have occasion to congratulate you?" And, "You are almost at
+the corner." And, "Your traveling from home seems only to have been an
+advantage to Veronica."
+
+"I tell you, Cousin Sue," said Arthur, who overheard the last remark,
+"that you don't know what they say of Cassandra in Rosville. She's the
+biggest beauty they ever had, and had lots of beaus."
+
+A significant expression passed over Cousin Sue's face, which was
+noticed by Alice Morgeson, who colored deeply.
+
+"Have you not forgotten?" I asked her.
+
+"It was of you I thought, not myself. I cannot tell you how utterly
+the past has gone, or how insignificant the result has proved."
+
+"Alice," said father, "can you carve?"
+
+"Splendidly."
+
+"Come and sit at the foot of my table; Mr. Somers will take charge of
+the smaller one."
+
+"With pleasure."
+
+"Slip out," whispered Fanny, "and look at the table; Temperance wants
+you."
+
+"For the Lord's sake!" cried Temperance, "say whether things are
+ship-shape."
+
+I was surprised at the taste she had displayed, and told her so.
+
+"For once I have tried to do my best," she said; "all for Verry. Call
+'em in; the turkeys will be on in a whiffle."
+
+Tables were set in the hall, as well as in the dining-room. "They
+must sit down," she continued, "so that they may eat their victuals
+in peace." The supper was a relief to Veronica, and I blessed
+father's forethought. Nobody was exactly merry, but there was a proper
+cheerfulness. Temperance, Fanny, and Manuel were in attendance; the
+latter spilled a good deal of coffee on the carpet in his enjoyment of
+the scene; and when he saw Veronica take the flowers in her hand, he
+exclaimed, "Santa Maria!"
+
+Everybody turned to look at him.
+
+"What are you doing here, Manuel?" asked Ben.
+
+"I wait on the señoritas," he answered. "Take plum-duff?"
+
+Everybody laughed.
+
+"Do you like widows?" whispered Fanny at the back of my chair. I made
+a sign to her to attend to her business, but, as she suggested, looked
+at Alice. At that moment she and father were drinking wine together. I
+thought her handsomer than ever; she had expanded into a fair, smooth
+middle age.
+
+The talking and clattering melted vaguely into my ears; I was a
+lay-figure in the scene, and my soul wandered elsewhere. Mr. Somers
+began to fidget gently, which father perceiving, rose from the table.
+Soon after the guests departed. The remains of the feast vanished; the
+fires burnt down, "winding sheets" wrapped the flame of the candles,
+and suppressed gaping set in.
+
+The flowers, left to themselves, began to give out odors which
+perfumed the rooms. I went about extinguishing the waning candles and
+stifling the dying fires, finished my work, and was going upstairs
+when I heard Veronica playing, and stopped to listen. It was not a
+paean nor a lament that she played, but a fluctuating, vibratory air,
+expressive of mutation. I hung over the stair-railing after she had
+ceased, convinced that she had been playing for herself a farewell,
+which freed me from my bond to her. Mr. Somers came along the hall
+with a candle, and I waited to ask him if I could do anything for his
+comfort.
+
+"My dear," he said with apprehension, "your sister is a genius, I
+think."
+
+"In music--yes."
+
+"What a deplorable thing for a woman!"
+
+"A woman of genius is but a heavenly lunatic, or an anomaly sphered
+between the sexes; do you agree?"
+
+He laughed, and pushed his spectacles up on his forehead.
+
+"My dear, I am astonished that Ben's choice fell as it did--"
+
+"Good-night, sir," I said so loudly that he almost dropped his candle,
+and I retired to my room, taking a chair by the fire, with a sigh of
+relief. After a while Ben and Veronica came up.
+
+"It is a cold night," I remarked.
+
+"I am in an enchanted palace," said Ben, "where there is no weather."
+
+"Cassy, will you take these pins out of my hair?" asked Verry, seating
+herself in an easy-chair. "Ben, we will excuse you."
+
+"How good of you." He strode across the passage, went into her room,
+and shut the door.
+
+"There, Verry, I have unbound your hair."
+
+"But I want to talk."
+
+I took her hand, and led her out. She stood before her door for a
+moment silently, and then gave a little knock. No answer came. She
+knocked again; the same silence as before. At last she was obliged to
+open it herself, and enter without any bidding.
+
+"Which will rule?" I thought, as I slipped down the back stairs, and
+listened at the kitchen door. I heard nothing. Finding an old cloak
+in the entry, I wrapped myself in it and left the house. The moon was
+out-riding black, scudding clouds, and the wind moaned round the sea,
+which looked like a vast, wrinkled serpent in the moonlight.
+
+I walked to Gloster Point, and rested under the lee of the lighthouse,
+but could not, when I made the attempt, see to read the inscription
+inside my watch, by the light of the lantern. I must have fallen
+asleep from fatigue, still holding it in my hand; for when I started
+homeward, there was a pale reflection of light in the east, and the
+sea was creeping quietly toward it with a murmuring morning song.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL.
+
+
+I looked across the bay from my window. "The snow is making 'Pawshee's
+Land' white again, and I remain this year the same. No change, no
+growth or development! The fulfillment of duty avails me nothing; and
+self-discipline has passed the necessary point."
+
+I struck the sash with my closed hand, for I would now give my life a
+new direction, and it was fettered. But I would be resolute, and break
+the fetters; had I not endured a "mute case" long enough? Manuel, who
+had been throwing snowballs against the house, stopped, and looked
+toward the gate, and then ran toward it. A pair of tired, splashed
+horses dashed down the drive. Manuel had the reins, and Ben was beside
+him, reeling slightly on the seat of the wagon. I ran down to meet
+him; he had been on a trip to Belem, where he never went except when
+he wanted money.
+
+"I have some news for you," he said, putting his arm in mine, as he
+jumped from the wagon. "Come in, and pull off my boots, Manuel." I
+brought a chair for him, and waited till his boots were off. "Bring me
+a glass of brandy."
+
+I stamped my foot. Verry entered with a book. "Ah, Verry, darling,
+come here."
+
+"Why do you drink brandy? Have you over-driven the horses?"
+
+He drank the brandy. She nodded kindly to him, shut her book, and
+slipped out, without approaching him.
+
+"That's _her_ way," he said, staring hard at me. "She always says in
+the same unmoved voice, 'Why do you drink brandy?'"
+
+"And then--she will not come to kiss you."
+
+"The child is dead, for the first thing. (Cigar, Manuel.) Second,
+I was possessed to come home by the way of Rosville. When did your
+father go away, Cass?"
+
+I felt faint, and sat down.
+
+"Ah, we _all_ have a weakness; does yours overcome you?"
+
+"He went three days ago."
+
+"I saw him at Alice Morgeson's."
+
+"Arthur?"
+
+"He didn't go to see Arthur. He will marry Alice, and I must build my
+house now."
+
+A devil ripped open my heart; its fragments flew all over me, blinding
+and deafening me.
+
+"He will be home to-night."
+
+"Very well."
+
+"What shall you say, Cassy?"
+
+"Expose that little weakness to him."
+
+"When will you learn real life?"
+
+"Please ask him, when he comes, if he will see me in my room."
+
+I waited there. My cup was filled at last. My sin swam on the top.
+
+Father came in smoking, and taking a chair between his legs, sat
+opposite me, and tapped softly the back of it with his fingers. "You
+sent for me?"
+
+"I wanted to tell you that Charles Morgeson loved me from the first,
+and you remember that I stayed by him to the last."
+
+"What more is there?" knocking over the chair, and seizing me; "tell
+me."
+
+His eyes, that were bloodshot with anger, fastened on my mouth. "I
+know, though, damn him! I know his cunning. Was Alice aware of this?"
+And he pushed me backward.
+
+"All."
+
+An expression of pain and disappointment crossed his face; he ground
+his teeth fiercely.
+
+"Don't marry her, father; you will kill me if you do!"
+
+"Must you alone have license?"
+
+He resumed his cigar, which he picked up from the floor.
+
+"It would seem that we have not known each other. What evasiveness
+there is in our natures! Your mother was the soul of candor, yet I am
+convinced I never knew her."
+
+"If you bring Alice here, I must go. We cannot live together."
+
+"I understand why she would not come here. She said that she must see
+you first. She is in Milford."
+
+He knocked the ashes from his cigar, looked round the room, and then
+at me, who wept bitterly. His face contracted with a spasm.
+
+"We were married two days ago." And turning from me quickly, he left
+the room.
+
+I was never so near groveling on the face of the earth as then; let me
+but fall, and I was sure that I never should rise.
+
+Ben knew it, but left it to me to tell Veronica.
+
+My grief broke all bounds, and we changed places; she tried to comfort
+me, forgetting herself.
+
+"Let us go away to the world's end with Ben." But suddenly
+recollecting that she liked Alice, she cried, "What shall I do?"
+
+What could she do, but offer an unreasoning opposition? Aunt Merce
+cried herself sick, fond as she was of Alice, and Temperance declared
+that if she hadn't married a widower herself, she would put in an oar.
+Anyhow, she hadn't married a man with grown-up daughters.
+
+"What ails Fanny?" she asked me the next day. "She looks like a froze
+pullet."
+
+"Where is she now?"
+
+"Making the beds."
+
+Temperance knew well what was the matter, but was too wise to
+interfere. I found her, not bed-making, but in a spare room, staring
+at the wall. She looked at me with dry eyes, bit her lips, and folded
+her hands across her chest, after her old, defiant fashion. I did not
+speak.
+
+"It is so," she said; "you need not tear me to pieces with your eyes,
+I can confess it to _you_, for you are as I am. I love him!" And she
+got up to shake her fist in my face. "My heart and brain and soul are
+as good as hers, and _he_ knows it."
+
+I could not utter a word.
+
+"I know him as you never knew him, and have for years, since I was
+that starved, poor-house brat your mother took. Don't trouble yourself
+to make a speech about ingratitude. I know that your mother was good
+and merciful, and that I should have worshiped her; but I never did.
+Do you suppose I ever thought he was perfect, as the rest of you
+thought? He is full of faults. I thought he was dependant on me. He
+knows how I feel. Oh, what shall I do?" She threw up her arms, and
+dropped on the floor in a hysteric fit. I locked the door, and picked
+her up. "Come out of it, Fanny; I shall stay here till you do."
+
+By dint of shaking her, and opening the window, she began to come to.
+After two or three fearful laughs and shudders, she opened her eyes.
+She saw my compassion, and tears fell in torrents; I cried too. The
+poor girl kissed my hands; a new soul came into her face.
+
+"Oh, Fanny, bear it as well as you can! You and I will be friends."
+
+"Forgive me! I was always bad; I am now. If that woman comes here,
+I'll stab her with Manuel's knife."
+
+"Pooh! The knife is too rusty; it would give her the lockjaw. Besides,
+she will never come. I know her. She is already more than half-way to
+meet me; but I shall not perform my part of the journey, and she will
+return."
+
+"You don't say so!" her ancient curiosity reviving.
+
+"Manuel keeps it sharp," she said presently, relapsing into jealousy.
+
+"You are a fool. Have you eaten anything to-day?"
+
+"I can't eat."
+
+"That's the matter with you--an empty stomach is the cause of most
+distressing pangs."
+
+Ben urged me to go to Milford to meet Alice, and to ask her to come to
+our house. But father said no more to me on the subject. Neither did
+Veronica. In the afternoon they drove over to Milford, returning
+at dusk. She refused to come with them, Ben said, and never would
+probably. "You have thrown out your father terribly."
+
+"You notice it, do you?"
+
+"It is pretty evident."
+
+"What is your opinion?"
+
+He was about to condemn, when he recollected his own interference in
+my life. "Ah! you have me. I think you are right, as far as the past
+which relates to Alice is concerned. But if she chooses to forget,
+why don't you? We do much that is contrary to our moral ideas, to make
+people comfortable. Besides, if we do not lay our ghosts, our closets
+will be overcrowded."
+
+"We may determine some things for ourselves, irrespective of
+consequences."
+
+"Well, there is a mess of it."
+
+Fanny had watched for their return, counting on an access of misery,
+for she believed that Alice would come also. It was what _she_ would
+have done. Rage took possession of her when she saw father alone.
+She planted herself before him, in my presence, in a contemptuous
+attitude. He changed color, and then her mood changed.
+
+"What shall I do?" she asked piteously.
+
+I tried to get away before she made any further progress; but
+he checked me, dreading the scene which he foreboded, without
+comprehending.
+
+"Fanny," he said harshly, but with a confused face, "you mistake me."
+
+"Not I; it was your wife and children who mistook you."
+
+"What is it you would say?"
+
+"You have let me be your slave."
+
+"It is not true, I hope--what your behavior indicates?"
+
+I forgave him everything then. Fanny had made a mistake. He had only
+behaved very selfishly toward her, without having any perception of
+her--that was all! She was confounded, stared at him a moment, and
+rushed out. That interview settled her; she was a different girl from
+that day.
+
+"Father, you will go to Rosville, and be rich again. Can you buy this
+house from Ben, for me? A very small income will suffice me and Fanny,
+for you may be sure that I shall keep her. Temperance will live with
+Verry; Ben will build, now that his share of his grandfather's estate
+will come to him."
+
+"Very well," he said with a sigh, "I will bring it about."
+
+"It is useless for us to disguise the fact--I have lost you. You are
+more dead to me than mother is."
+
+"You say so."
+
+It was the truth. I was the only one of the family who never went
+to Rosville. Aunt Merce took up her abode with Alice, on account of
+Arthur, whom she idolized. When father was married again, the Morgeson
+family denounced him for it, and for leaving Surrey; but they accepted
+his invitations to Rosville, and returned with glowing accounts of his
+new house and his hospitality.
+
+By the next June, Ben's house was completed and they moved. Its site
+was a knoll to the east of our house, which Veronica had chosen. Her
+rooms were toward the orchard, and Ben's commanded a view of the sea.
+He had not ventured to intrude, he told her, upon the Northern Lights,
+and she must not bother him about his boat-house or his pier. They
+were both delighted with the change, and kept house like children.
+Temperance indulged their whims to the utmost, though she thought
+Ben's new-fangled notions were silly; but they might keep him from
+_something worse_. This something was a shadow which frightened me,
+though I fought it off. I was weary of trouble, and shut my eyes as
+long as possible. Whenever Ben went from home, and he often drove to
+Milford, or to some of the towns near, he came back disordered with
+drink. At the sight my hopes would sink. But they rose again, he was
+so genial, so loving, so calmly contented afterward. As Verry never
+spoke of it either to Temperance or me, I imagined she was not
+troubled much. She could not feel as I felt, for she knew nothing of
+the Bellevue Pickersgill family history.
+
+The day they moved was a happy one for me. I was at last left alone in
+my own house, and I regained an absolute self-possession, and a sense
+of occupation I had long been a stranger to. My ownership oppressed
+me, almost, there was so much liberty to realize.
+
+I had an annoyance, soon after I came into sole possession. Father's
+business was not yet settled, and he came to Surrey. He was paying his
+debts in full, he told me, eking out what he lacked himself with the
+property of Alice. He could not have used much of it, however, for the
+vessels that were out at the time of the failure came home with good
+cargoes. I fancied that he had more than one regret while settling his
+affairs; that he missed the excitement and vicissitudes of a maritime
+business. Nothing disagreeable arose between us, till I happened to
+ask him what were the contents of a box which had arrived the day
+before.
+
+"Something Alice sent you; shall we open it?"
+
+"I made no answer; but it was opened, and he took out a sea-green
+and white velvet carpet, with a scarlet leaf on it, and a piece of
+sea-green and white brocade for curtains. Had she sought the world
+over, she could have found nothing to suit me so well.
+
+"She thought that Verry might have a fancy for some of the old
+furniture, and that you would accept these in its place."
+
+"There's nothing here to match this splendor, and I cannot bear to
+make a change. Verry must have them, for she took nothing from me."
+
+"Just as you please."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI.
+
+
+"What a hot day!" said Fanny. "Every door and window is open. There is
+not a breath of air."
+
+"It will be calm all day," I said. "We have two or three days like
+this in a year. Give me another cup of coffee. Is it nine yet?"
+
+"Nearly. I ought to go to Hepsey's to-day. She wont be able to leave
+her bed, the heat weakens her so."
+
+"Do go. How still it is! The shadows of the trees on the Neck reach
+almost from shore to shore, and there's a fish-boat motionless."
+
+"The boat was there when I got up."
+
+"Everything is blue and yellow, or blue and white."
+
+"How your hair waves this morning! It is handsomer than ever."
+
+I went to the glass with my cup of coffee. "I look younger in the
+summer."
+
+"What's the use of looking younger here?" she asked gruffly. "You
+never see a man."
+
+"I see Ben coming with Verry, and Manuel behind."
+
+"Hillo!" cried Ben, pulling up his horses in front of the window. "We
+are going on a picnic. Wont you go?"
+
+"How far?"
+
+"Fifteen or twenty miles."
+
+"Go on; I had rather imprison the splendid day here."
+
+"There's nothing for dinner," said Fanny.
+
+"The fish-boat may come in, in time."
+
+"Will three o'clock do for you? If so, I'll stay with Hepsey till
+then."
+
+"Four will answer?"
+
+She cleared away my breakfast things and left me. I sat by the window
+an hour, looking over the water, my thoughts drifting through a golden
+haze, and then went up to my room and looked out again. If I turned my
+eyes inside the walls, I was aware of the yearning, yawning empty void
+within me, which I did not like. I sauntered into Verry's room, to see
+if any clouds were coming up from the north. There were none. The sun
+had transfixed the sky, and walked through its serene blue, "burning
+without beams." Neither bird nor insect chirped; they were hid from
+the radiant heat in tree and sod. I went back again to my own window.
+The subtle beauty of these inorganic powers stirred me to mad regret
+and frantic longing. I stretched out my arms to embrace the presence
+which my senses evoked.
+
+It would be better to get a book, I concluded, and hunted up Barry
+Cornwall's songs. With it I would go to the parlor, which was shaded.
+I turned the leaves going down, and went in humming:
+
+"Mount on the dolphin Pleasure," and threw myself on the sofa
+beside--_Desmond_!
+
+I dropped Barry Cornwall.
+
+"I have come," he said, in a voice deathly faint.
+
+"How old you have grown, Desmond!"
+
+"But I have taken such pains with my hands for you! You said they were
+handsome; are they?"
+
+I kissed them.
+
+He was so spare, and brown, and his hair was quite gray! Even his
+mustache looked silvery.
+
+"Two years to-day since I have worn the watch, Desmond."
+
+He took one exactly like it from his pocket, and showed me the
+inscription inside.
+
+"And the ruby ring, on the guard?"
+
+"It is gone, you see; you must put one there now."
+
+"Forgive me."
+
+"Ah, Cassy! I couldn't come till now. You see what battles _I_ must
+have had since I saw you. It took me so long to break my cursed
+habits. I was afraid of myself, afraid to come; but I have tried
+myself to the utmost, and hope I am worthy of you. Will you trust me?"
+
+"I am yours, as I always have been."
+
+"I have eaten an immense quantity of oil and garlic," he said with a
+sigh. "But Spain is a good place to reform in. How is Ben?"
+
+I shook my head.
+
+"Don't tell me anything sad now. Poor fellow! God help him."
+
+Fanny was talking to some one on the walk; the fisherman probably, who
+was bringing fish.
+
+"Do you want some dinner?"
+
+"I have had no breakfast."
+
+"I must see about something for you."
+
+"Not to leave me, Cassy."
+
+"Just for a few minutes."
+
+"No."
+
+"But I want to cry by myself, besides looking after the dinner."
+
+"Cry here then, with me. Come, Cassandra, my wife! My God, I shall die
+with happiness."
+
+A mortal paleness overspread his face.
+
+"Desmond, Desmond, do you know how I love you? Feel my heart,--it has
+throbbed with the weight of you since that night in Belem, when you
+struck your head under the mantel."
+
+He was speechless. I murmured loving words to him, till he drew a deep
+breath of life and strength.
+
+"These fish are small," said Fanny at the door. "Shall I take them!"
+
+"Certainly," said Desmond, "I'll pay for them."
+
+"It is Ben in black lead," said Fanny.
+
+We laughed.
+
+At dusk Ben and Veronica drove up. Desmond was seated in the window.
+Ben fixed his eyes upon him, without stopping.
+
+We ran out, and called to him.
+
+"Old fellow," said Desmond, "willing or not, I have come."
+
+Ben's face was a study; so many emotions assailed him that my heart
+was wrung with pity.
+
+"Give her to me," Desmond continued in a touching voice. "You are her
+oldest friend, and have a right."
+
+"She was always yours," he answered. "To contend with her was folly."
+
+Veronica took hold of Ben's chin and raised his head to look into his
+face. "What dreams have you had?"
+
+But he made no reply to her. We were all silent for a moment, then he
+said, "Was I wrong, Des.?"
+
+"No, no."
+
+While, I was saying to myself, in behalf of Veronica, whose calm face
+baffled me, "Enigma, Sphinx"; she turned to Desmond, holding out her
+right arm, and said, "You are the man I saw in my dream."
+
+"And you are like the Virgin I made an offering to, only not quite so
+bedizened." He took her extended hand and kissed it.
+
+Ben threw the reins with a sudden dash toward Manuel, who was standing
+by, and jumped down.
+
+"Have tea with me," I asked, "and music, too. Verry, will you play for
+Desmond?"
+
+She took his arm, and entered the house.
+
+"Friend," I said to Ben, who lingered by the door, "to contend with me
+was not folly, unless it has kept you from contending with yourself.
+Tell me--how is it with you?"
+
+"Cassandra, the jaws of hell are open. If you are satisfied with the
+end, I must be."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+After I was married, I went to Belem. But Mrs. Somers never forgave
+me; and Mr. Somers liked Desmond no better than he had in former
+times. Neither did Adelaide and Ann ever consider the marriage in any
+light but that of a misalliance. Nor did they recognize any change
+in him. It might be permanent, but it was no less an aberration which
+they mistrusted. The ground plan of the Bellevue Pickersgill character
+could not be altered.
+
+In a short time after we were married we went to Europe and stayed two
+years.
+
+These last words I write in the summer time at our house in Surrey,
+for Desmond likes to be here at this season, and I write in my old
+chamber. Before its windows rolls the blue summer sea. Its beauty
+wears a relentless aspect to me now; its eternal monotone expresses no
+pity, no compassion.
+
+Veronica is lying on the floor watching her year-old baby. It smiles
+continually, but never cries, never moves, except when it is moved.
+Her face, thin and melancholy, is still calm and lovely. But her
+eyes go no more in quest of something beyond. A wall of darkness lies
+before her, which she will not penetrate. Aunt Merce sits near me with
+her knitting. When I look at her I think how long it is since mother
+went, and wonder whether death is not a welcome idea to those who
+have died. Aunt Merce looks at Verry and the child with a sorrowful
+countenance, exchanges a glance with me, shakes her head. If Verry
+speaks to her, she answers cheerfully, and tries to conceal the grief
+which she feels when she sees the mother and child together.
+
+Ben has been dead six months. Only Desmond and I were with him in his
+last moments. When he sprang from his bed, staggered backwards, and
+fell dead, we clung together with faint hearts, and mutely questioned
+each other.
+
+"God is the Ruler," he said at last. "Otherwise let this mad world
+crush us now."
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MORGESONS***
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