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diff --git a/old/12243.txt b/old/12243.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..11c684f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12243.txt @@ -0,0 +1,17710 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Round the Block, by John Bell Bouton + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Round the Block + +Author: John Bell Bouton + +Release Date: May 3, 2004 [eBook #12243] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUND THE BLOCK*** + + +E-text prepared by Curtis Weyant, Charlie Kirschner, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 12243-h.htm or 12243-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/2/4/12243/12243-h/12243-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/2/4/12243/12243-h.zip) + + + + + +ROUND THE BLOCK + +An American Novel + +WITH ILLUSTRATIONS + +by + +JOHN BELL BOUTON + +1864 + + + + + + +[Illustration: MRS. SLAPMAN AT HOME--(Book First, Chap. IX.)] + + + + +CONTENTS. + + +BOOK FIRST. + +NEW YEAR'S DAY. + + I. THE BLOCK. + II. THREE BACHELORS. + III. PEEPS. + IV. QUIGG. + V. PLEASURE AS BUSINESS. + VI. SOMETHING HIDDEN. + VII. THE BOY BOG. +VIII. MALTBOY'S TWENTIETH AFFAIR. + IX. MRS. SLAPMAN AT HOME. + X. INFIRMITIES OF GENIUS. + + +BOOK SECOND. + +POLISHING. + + I. THE ENIGMA. + II. A DELICATE PROPOSITION. + III. AN AUXILIARY OF MODERN CIVILIZATION. + IV. MISS PILLBODY. + V. A FRIEND IN NEED. + VI. BRANCHING OUT. + VII. THE LITTLE PUPIL. + + +BOOK THIRD. + +TRAIL OF THE SERPENT. + + I. "ONE--TWO--THREE--FOUR." + II. THE FALLING BOARD. + III. SNEAKING JUSTIFIED. + IV. UP IN THE AIR. + V. TONGUES OF FIRE. + + +BOOK FOURTH. + +CHILDREN OF THE WORLD. + + I. MENDERT VAN QUINTEM AND SON. + II. BUYING GOOD BEHAVIOR. + III. THE YOUNG MONSTER. + IV. WESLEY TIFFINS. + V. THE PANORAMA OF AFRICA. + + +BOOK FIFTH. + +MANOEUVRES. + + I. STOLEN--MORE THAN A PURSE. + II. CONSOLATIONS OF HIGH ART. + III. LOVING AFAR OFF. + IV. LEGERDEMAIN. + + +BOOK SIXTH. + +MYSTERIES OF THE NIGHT. + + I. THE UNKNOWN HAND. + II. IN VAIN--IN VAIN. + III. THE CLASHING ORBS. + IV. A VISION OP HORRORS. + V. WHAT THE MORNING BROUGHT. + + +BOOK SEVENTH. + +JOURNEYINGS AGAINST FATE. + + I. PEA-SHOOTING AS A SCIENCE. + II. BY STEAM. + III. PIGWORTH, J.P. + IV. STOOP. + V. AN AUDIENCE ANALYZED. + VI. HUMORS OF THE MANY-HEADED. + VII. SCENES NOT IN THE BILLS. + + +BOOK EIGHTH. + +A DRAMATIC INTERLUDE. + + I. THE OVERTURE. + II. CURTAIN UP. + III. ACT SECOND. + IV. HOW THE PLAY ENDED. + + +BOOK NINTH. + +THE INQUEST. + + I. CORONER AND JURY. + II. STATEMENT OF THE PRISONER. + III. JUSTICE GOES TO DINNER. + IV. LIGHT IN THE PRISON. + V. THE SORROW OF WHITE HAIRS. + VI. WHAT PAPER, TYPES, AND INK CAN DO. + VII. PET AS A WITNESS. +VIII. THE BENEFICENCE OF FIRE BELLS. + IX. AN OLD MAN'S OFFERING. + + +BOOK TENTH. + +DONE ON BOTH SIDES. + + I. A FISHER OF MEN. + II. PLAYING WITH THE LINE. + III. PULLING IN. + IV. THE FIRST OF MAY. + V. DEMOLITION OF CERTAIN AIR CASTLES. + VI. MR. WHEDELL'S CREDITORS IN CONVENTION ASSEMBLED. + VII. DEUS EX MACHINA. + + +BOOK ELEVENTH. + +DISCOVERIES. + + I. THE OLD HOUSE REVISITED. + II. A POSTHUMOUS SECRET. + III. OVERTOP FINDS A SENSIBLE WOMAN. + IV. INNOCENCE ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. + V. BOG'S OPEN SESAME. + VI. TRACKED. + VII. FOUND AND LOST. + + +BOOK TWELFTH. + +SPECULATIONS--PECUNIARY AND MATRIMONIAL. + + I. THE "COSMOPOLITAN WINDOW FASTENER." + II. MIDDLE-AGED CUPID. + III. SLAPMAN _vs_. SLAPMAN. + IV. HOW OVERTOP SEALED A CONTRACT IN A WAY UNKNOWN TO CHITTY. + V. A RETURNED CALIFORNIAN. + VI. REVELATIONS OF A LAUGH. + + +BOOK THIRTEENTH. + +THE STRANGE LADY. + + I. A STORY OP THE PAST. + II. POSSIBLE LOVE. + III. UNCLE AND NIECE. + + +BOOK FOURTEENTH. + +HAPPY DAYS. + + I. OWNERS OF THE BEAUTIFUL. + II. THE LAST OF A MYSTERY. + III. LOVE CROWNED. + IV. FIVE YEARS. + + + + +BOOK FIRST. + +NEW YEAR'S DAY + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE BLOCK. + +On the east side of the block were four brownstone houses, wide, tall, +and roomy. Seen from the street, they had the appearance of not being +inhabited. In the upper stories, all the curtains or blinds were closely +drawn. In the lower story, the heavy lace that hung in carefully +careless folds on each side of the window, seemed never to have been +disturbed since it left the upholsterer's hands. Whatever life and +motion there might have been in the basement, were sheltered from +observation by conical firs or square-clipped box borders, set out on +strictly geometrical principles in each of the four front yards. The +doors were ponderous and tight fitting, as if they were never meant to +be opened; and the vivid polish of their surfaces showed no trace of +human handling. No marks of feet could be detected on the smooth, heavy +flagstones which led up from the sidewalk, or on the great steps flanked +by massive balustrades. The four mansions, in their new, lofty, and +apparently tenantless state, looked, like the occasional residences of +people for some purpose of ceremony, rather than the dear homes of the +small, loving, domestic circles that really lived there. + +Such was the outer view of the east side of the block, and it is the +only view that the reader of this book will get; for it is the author's +intention profoundly to respect the select seclusion of the occupants. + +Now, the west side of the block was in all respects, exactly opposite to +the east side. The houses were built of bricks, dingy with the whirling +dust of twenty years. Two of the three stories swarmed with women and +children, always visible at all seasons; and the lower story was devoted +to some kind of cheap trade. Wholesale business is gregarious in its +ways; but it is the habit of retail business to scatter, so as to +present, in the same neighborhood, no two people in exactly the same +line. Thus it happened that, on the west side of the block, there was +only one drygoods dealer, whose shop front and awning posts were +festooned with calicoes and other fabrics, ticketed with ingeniously +deformed figures, and bearing some attractive adjective, expressing the +owners private and conscientious opinion of their excellence. There was +one boot-maker, who strung up his products in long branches, like +onions; and, although his business was not at all flourishing, solaced +himself with the reflection that he had a monopoly of it on the block. +There was one apothecary, between whose flashing red and yellow lights +and those of his nearest rival there was a desirable distance. A +solitary coffinmaker, a butcher, a baker, a newspaper vender, a barber, +a confectioner, a hardware merchant, a hatter, and a tailor, each +encroaching rather extensively on the sidewalk with the emblems of his +trade, rejoiced in their exemption from a ruinous competition. The only +people on the block whose interests appeared to clash, were the grocers, +who flanked either corner, and made a large and delusive show of boxes, +barrels, and tea chests; and it was strongly suspected that they were +identical in interests, under different names, and maintained a secret +league to catch all the custom of the vicinity. + +The south side was a gradation of buildings, from the two-story brick +grocery on the west corner to the grandest of the stone mansions on the +east. With the exception of two or three houses built in the early +history of the block, and occupied by obstinate old proprietors, it +presented such a regularly ascending line of roofs, that a giant could +have walked up stairs from one end to the other. Although each house was +built upon a plan peculiar to itself, and supposed to reflect the +long-cherished views of the original owner, there were certain +resemblances among them. This was sometimes the effect of a jealous +rivalry; sometimes of imitation. In one dozen houses there was a costly +struggle for supremacy in window curtains. In another dozen, the +harmless contest pertained to Grecian urns crowned with flowers, or dry +dolphins, tritons, or naiads, rising from the bosoms of little gravel +beds in miniature front yards. In a third dozen, there was a perspective +of broad iron balconies elegantly constructed for show, and sometimes +put to hazardous use, on warm summer nights, by venturesome gentlemen +with cigars, or ladies with fans. + +About the middle of the block was a colony of doctors, who had +increased, in five years, from two to ten. Their march was eastward, and +it could be calculated to a nicety how long it would be before the small +black, gilt-lettered signs of their profession would press hard upon the +great house at the corner. Why they thus congregated together, unless +with the friendly purpose of relieving each other's patients in each +other's absence, and so saving humanity from sudden suffering and death, +was a mystery to everybody but themselves. + +The north side lacked variety. One part of it, comprising twenty lots, +had been built up on speculation by an enterprising landowner. The +houses were precisely alike, from coal cellar to chimney top, with front +railings of exactly the same pattern, crowned with iron pineapples from +the same mould, encompassing little plots of ground laid out in walks +similar to the fraction of a hair; the sole ornaments of which were four +little spruce trees, planted at equal distances apart. + +This row of houses was very distracting even to the occupants, with whom +it was a feat of arithmetic to identify their homes in the daytime, and +much more so at night, when the landmarks were shadowy and +indistinguishable. Occasionally, well-meaning tenants found themselves +pulling at wrong doorbells; and there was one man who got tipsy every +Saturday night, and rang himself quite through the row before he tumbled +in on his own hall carpet. It was in counting the spruce trees, he said, +which had a perplexing way of doubling, that he invariably lost +the track. + +In nearly every house on this block there was a piano. The piano was the +great equalizer of the block. And, though in the loftier houses the +pianos might have been larger and costlier, and unquestionably noisier, +it did not follow that they were better played or pleasanter to hear +than the humbler instruments which served to swell the tumultuous chorus +in hours of morning practice. With regard to these pianos, it may here +be observed, that a gentleman with a passion for statistics, who chanced +to be well acquainted through the block, made the remarkable discovery +that the players were usually unmarried ladies; and that, when they +acquired husbands (as they occasionally did on that block), they put +aside the piano as something quite incapable of contributing to their +new-found happiness. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THREE BACHELOKS. + +Near the centre of the north side of the block stood a house in which +three men, who have much to do in this story, were whiling away an hour +before dinner, at the edge of evening, in the month of December, 185-. +The house had strange stones let in over the windows and door, and was +broad and sturdy, and was entered by steps slightly worn, and was shaded +by a tall and old chestnut tree, and showed many signs of age. It was +because of these evidences of antiquity, although the house was in good +preservation and vastly comfortable, that it had been picked out and +rented by the three men, two weeks previously. + +Yet the three men exhibited no marks of age, past or coming, upon them. +The oldest, Mr. Marcus Wilkeson, looked no more than thirty-two; but +frankly owned to thirty-six. Being six feet and two inches high, having +a slim figure, round face, smooth brow, gentle eyes, perfect teeth to +the utmost extent of his laugh, and a head of hair free from the +plague-spot of incipient baldness which haunts the young men of this +generation, his appearance, now that he was confessedly a man, was very +much like that of an overgrown boy. On the contrary, when he was really +a boy, his extraordinary height (six feet at sixteen years) had given +him the outward semblance of a premature man. Probably his long legs and +arms, which were exceedingly supple, and were always swinging about with +a certain juvenile awkwardness, contributed much to the youthfulness of +his appearance. + +At the time of his introduction here, his legs were as quiet as in their +nature they could be, having been elevated, for the greater comfort of +the owner, to the top of a pianoforte, and presenting an inclination of +forty-five degrees to Mr. Wilkeson's body, reposing calmly and smoking +an antique pipe in his favorite chair below. One of his long arms was +hanging listlessly by his side, and the other made a sharp projecting +elbow, and terminated in the interior of his vest. This was the attitude +which, of all possible adjustments of the human anatomy, Mr. Wilkeson +preferred; and he always assumed it and his pipe the moment he had put +on his dressing gown and Turkey slippers. He was well aware that popular +treatises on the "Art of Behavior" and the "Code of Politeness" were +extremely hard upon this disposition of the legs. His half-sister, +Philomela Wilkeson, who was high authority, had often visited his legs +with the severest censure, when, upon suddenly entering the room where +he was seated, she found the offending members confronting her from the +top of the piano, or the table, or a chair, or sometimes from the +mantelpiece. While Marcus Wilkeson admitted the full force of her +strictures as applied to legs in general, he claimed an exception for +his legs, which were always in his own or other people's way when they +rested on the floor, or were crossed after the many fashions popular +with the short-legged part of mankind. + +Marcus Wilkeson's heretical opinion concerning legs was part of a system +of independent views which he entertained of life generally. He had +given up a profitable broker's shop in Wall street, a year before, +because he had made a fortune ten times larger than he would ever spend. +Having fulfilled the object for which he started in business, and for +which he had toiled like a slave ten years, he conceived that nothing +could be more sensible than to retire from it, make room for other +deserving men, and enjoy his ample earnings in the ways which pleased +him most, before an old age of money getting had deadened his five +senses, his intellect, and his heart. + +Persons who knew Marcus Wilkeson well were aware that he was a shy, +self-distrustful fellow, amiable, generous, and that the only faults +which could possibly be alleged against him were an excessive fondness +for old books, old cigars, and profitless meditations, and a catlike +affection for quiet corners. And when his half-sister Philomela--who had +no hypocritical concealment about her, thank heaven! and always told +people what she thought of them--pronounced the first of those luxuries +"trash," the second "disgusting," and the other two "idiotic," he met +her candid criticisms with a pleasant laugh, and said that, at any rate, +they hurt nobody but himself. + +To which Philomela invariably retorted: "But suppose every strapping +fellow, at your time of life, should take to novel-reading, and such +fooleries, what would become of the world, I would like to know?" + +And her brother, puffing out a long stream of smoke, would respond: +"Suppose, my dear sister, every woman was destined to be an old maid, as +you are, what would become of the world, _I_ would like to know?" + +The conversation always terminated at this point, by Philomela declaring +that coarse personality was the refuge of weak-minded people when they +could not answer arguments, and that, for her part, she would never take +the trouble to say another plain, straightforward word for his good; +whereupon there would be a truce, lasting sometimes a whole day. + +Fayette Overtop, the second of the three young men--the one looking out +of the window, drumming idly on the glass, and continually tossing back +his head to clear the long black hair from his brow, over which it hung +in an incurable cowlick--was a short, compact, nervous person, +twenty-five years old. Mr. Overtop had been educated for the law, but, +finding the profession uncomfortably crowded when he came into it, had +not yet achieved those brilliant triumphs which he once fondly imagined +within his reach. For three years he had been in regular attendance at +his office from nine A.M. to three P.M. (as per written card on the +door), except in term time, when he was a patient frequenter of the +courts. During these three years he had picked up something less than +enough to pay his half of the rent of two small, dimly lighted, but +expensive rooms on the fourth floor of a labyrinth in the lower part +of the city. + +Mr. Overtop, when asked to explain this state of things, about which he +made no concealment, always attributed it to a "lack of clients." + +If he had clients enough, and of the right kind, he felt confident that +he could make a figure in the profession. Having few clients, and those +in insignificant cases only, of course he had no opportunities for +distinction. He could not stand in the street and beg for clients, or +drag men forcibly into his chambers and compel them to be clients; and +he would not degrade the dignity of his calling by advertising for +clients, or taking any means whatever to get them, except by +establishing a reputation for professional learning and integrity. The +only inducement which he ever put in the way of clients, was a series of +signs, outside the street door, on the first flight of stairs, at the +head of the first landing, on the second flight of stairs, at the head +of the second landing, and so on to the fourth floor, where the firm +name of "Overtop & Maltboy" confronted the panting climber for the +eighth and last time, painted in large gold letters on black tin, nailed +to the office door. + +Mr. Overtop was willing to give clients every facility for finding him, +when they had once started at the bottom of the building; and would, as +it were, lead them gently on, by successive signs; but good luck and a +good name, slowly but surely acquired, must do the rest. + +A snug property, of which Mr. Overtop spent less than the income, +fortunately enabled him to indulge in these novel views, and to regard +clients, much as they were desired, as by no means indispensable to his +existence. In his unprofessional hours, Mr. Overtop was everything but a +lawyer. He was chiefly a philosopher, a discoverer, a searcher after +truth, a turner-up of undeveloped beauties in every-day things, which, +he said, were rich in instruction when intelligently examined. He could +trace out lines of beauty in a gridiron, and detect the subtle charm +that lurks in the bootjack. + +As not unfrequently happens, in partnerships of business and of other +descriptions, Matthew Maltboy--the young man standing before the blazing +coal fire, and critically surveying his own person--was quite the +opposite of Fayette Overtop. Maltboy was fat and calm. Portraits were in +existence showing Maltboy as a young lad in a jacket and turn-down +collar, having a slim, graceful figure, a delicate face, and a sad but +interesting promise of early decay upon him. Other portraits, of the +same original, taken at later periods of the photographic art, +represented a gradual squaring out of the shoulders, a progressive +puffiness in the cheeks, lips, and hands, incipient folds in the chin, +and a prevalent swollen appearance over all of Matthew Maltboy that the +artist permitted the sun to copy. + +Portraits of Maltboy for a series of years would have proved a valuable +contribution to human knowledge, as showing the steady and remarkable +changes through which a man who is doomed to be fat passes onward to his +destiny. But Maltboy stopped sitting for portraits when he reached the +age of twenty, deciding, as many another public character has done, to +transmit only the earlier and more ethereal representations of himself +to posterity. + +By some compensating law of Nature, there were given to Maltboy a light +and cheerful heart, a tendency to laugh on the smallest provocation, and +a nice susceptibility to the beautiful. Not the beautiful in rivers, +forests, skies, and other inanimate things, but the beautiful in woman. +And as Overtop was gifted to discover charms in material objects which +were plain in other eyes, so Maltboy possessed the wonderful faculty of +seeing beauty in female faces, where other people saw, perhaps, only a +bad nose, dull eyes, and a pinched-up mouth. This mental endowment might +have been a priceless gift to a portrait painter, who was desirous of +gratifying his sitters; but it was for Matthew Maltboy a fatal +possession. It had led him to love too many women too much at first +sight, and to shift his admiration from one dear object to another with +a suddenness and rapidity destructive to a well-ordered state +of society. + +Though these multiplied transfers of affection occasionally caused some +disappointment among the victims of Mr. Maltboy's inconstancy, it was +wisely ordained that he should be the principal sufferer--that every new +passion should involve him in new difficulties, and subject him to a +degree of mental distress which would have reduced the flesh of any man +not hopelessly predisposed to fatness. As Mr. Matthew Maltboy stood by +the fire, he was not taking the profitable retrospective view of his +life which he should have taken, but was glancing with an expression of +concern at the circumference of a showy vest pattern which cut off the +view of his legs. + +The apartment in which the three bachelors were keeping a meditative +silence, was large, square, high, on the first floor back, commanding an +ample prospect of neglected rear yards, and all the strange things that +are usually huddled into those strictly private domains. The furniture +of the room was rich and substantial, but not too good to be used. The +chairs were none of those frail, slippery structures of horsehair and +mahogany so inhospitably cold to the touch; but they were oak, high +backed, deep, long armed, softly but stoutly cushioned with leather, and +yawned to receive nodding tenants and send them comfortably to sleep +amid the fragrant clouds of the after-dinner pipe or cigar. + +At one end of the room was Marcus Wilkeson's library, consisting of +about five hundred volumes, of poems, novels, travels by land and sea, +histories, and biographies, which the owner dogmatically held to be all +the books in the world worth reading. The admission of a new book to +this select company of standard worthies, Mr. Wilkeson was vain enough +to regard as a high compliment to the author, and as a final settlement +of any disputes which might have been abroad as to its merits. + +On another side of the room was a grand piano, open, and covered with +the latest music, and sometimes played on in a surprisingly graceful +manner by the fat fingers of Matthew Maltboy. On the walls hung some +pictures, that were not unpleasant to look at. There were two portraits +of danseuses, with little gauzy wings, and wands tipped with magic +stars; one large, full-faced likeness of a pet actress, taken in just +the right attitude to show the rounding shoulders, the lightly poised +head, and the heavy hair, to the best advantage; some charming French +prints, among them "Niobe and her Daughters" and "Di Vernon;" and a half +dozen pictures of the fine old English stage-coach days. Over the +fireplace were suspended several pairs of boxing gloves, garnishing the +picture of a tall fellow in fighting attitude, whose prodigious muscles +were only a little smaller than those of all the saints and angels of +all the accredited masterpieces of ancient art. A pair of foils and +masks, neatly arranged over each corner of the mantelpiece, completed +the decorations of the room. + +The three bachelors had gone into housekeeping by way of experiment, as +a relief from the tedium and oppression of hotels and boarding houses, +and as an escape from female society, which was beginning to pall even +upon the huge appetite of Matthew Maltboy. + +But two weeks of this self-imposed exile--with no female society but +Miss Philomela Wilkeson, and Mash, the cook--proved rather too much for +Matthew's fortitude. He yawned audibly. + +"I understand you," said Marcus; "you are sick of this." + +"Well--hum--it's a little prosy at times." Maltboy yawned again. + +"Incorrigible monster!" cried Marcus. "What shall we do with him, Top?" + +The person addressed swung back the rebellious cowlick from his +forehead, as if to clear his thinking faculties from a load while he +considered the grave question. "Do with him? Do with him? Oh! I'll tell +you." Here the speaker's eyes flashed with the light of a great +discovery. "Tether him like a horse, with a certain limited area to feed +in. D'ye see? D'ye see?" + +"A horse? Can't say that I do," returned Mr. Marcus Wilkeson. + +"And I can't say that _I_ do, either," added Mr. Matthew Maltboy. "A +horse! Why not say a donkey? I should see it quite as well." + +"As you please," resumed the impetuous Overtop. "A donkey, then. Perhaps +the metaphor will be better. What I mean--what you two are so dull as +not to see--is to put this unreliable Maltboy on a moderate allowance of +flirtation; to keep him, for example, within the limits of this block. +D'ye see? D'ye catch the idea?" + +"It begins to dawn on me," said Wilkeson. + +"And I catch a ray or two of it," added Maltboy. But--" + +"Excuse me," interrupted Overtop, stepping between his two companions, +and gesticulating wildly at each of them in turn, as if he would dart +conviction into them like electricity from the tips of his fingers. +"Here is a block full of people. Their houses are joined together, or +nearly so, all the way round. The inhabitants hear each other's pianos +playing and each other's babies squalling all day long. If a fire breaks +out in the block, it may be all burned down together. If the measles +makes its appearance on the block, it probably runs through it. Is there +not, therefore, a community of dangers among us; and if of dangers, why +not of pleasures? Why should not the inhabitants of a block be regarded +as a distinct settlement, or tribe, whose members owe kindness and +goodwill to each other before the rest of the world? Looking at it in +the light of humanity, is it not our duty to know our neighbors?" + +"And Matt would say, To love them too--that is, the young and pretty +ones," observed "Wilkeson. + +"Precisely," said Maltboy. + +"Excuse me," continued Overtop, deprecating further interruption with +both hands. "That is the point I was just coming to. Since Maltboy +_must_ have female society, and cannot be kept out of it by main force, +why not give him the range of this block? Catch the idea, eh?--in its +full force and bearings?" + +"Wilkeson and Maltboy implied, by nods, that they caught it. + +"And--ahem--I think I'll take the same range too," added Overtop. "Not +because I care a pin about female society, but just to test my +new theory." + +Cries of "Oh! oh!" from Marcus Wilkeson. + +Overtop laughed. "You'll be a convert to it yet, my good fellow." + +"Never," said Marcus, inflexibly, "so long as books and tobacco hold +out." + +"We'll see," replied Overtop. "But let me think how we are to begin." He +rubbed his nose with a forefinger, then tossed back the cowlick, and +said, impetuously: "I have it--I have it! We know Quigg, the grocer, at +the corner below, for we are customers of his. Of course, he has an +immense number of customers on the block, and will make New Year's +calls on all of them, in the way of business. Why can't he take us in +tow? It's as plain as daylight." + +"Plain enough, I admit," said Marcus Wilkeson; "but what will Quigg's +customers say?" + +"Poor fellow!" returned Overtop. "How feebly you hermits reason about +society! If you had knocked round town on New Year's days, as Matt and I +have often done, you would know that visitors are valued only because +they swell the number of calls, and that it is entirely immaterial who +they are, or who introduces them. The militia general, the banker, the +judge, the D.D., the butcher, the drygoods clerk, are units of equal +value on that day, each adding one more to the score which is privately +kept behind the door. We shall be welcome; never fear for that. You must +come with us, and see for yourself." + +"I thank you," said Marcus Wilkeson, laughing. "No such fooleries at my +time of life." + +"Very well," said Overtop. "Matt and I will try to represent the new +firm of bachelor housekeepers creditably. Matt will look after the +pretty girls, and I after the sensible ones--that is, if there happen to +be any on this block." + +"Agreed," observed Matthew Maltboy, catching a view of himself in a +glass over the fireplace, and not wholly displeased with his appearance. + +"Another thought strikes me," said Overtop, explosively. "It's nearly +half an hour to sunset. I am impatient to begin my acquaintance with our +fellow citizens--our future friends, if I may so call them. Let us look +out of the windows, and see what the excellent people are doing. Perhaps +it may interest even a recluse and bookworm like you." + +"Nonsense," rejoined Marcus Wilkeson. "There's no curiosity in my +composition." + +And yet, when his two companions stood at the window of the little back +parlor, pressing their noses against the glass, and looking out, he +could not resist the temptation to join them, although he thought +proper to punch them in the ribs, and call them a pair of inquisitive +puppies, by way of showing how much he was superior to the great human +infirmity. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +PEEPS. + +The uniform row of houses on the other side of a dead waste of snow, to +which the attention of the three friends was ardently directed, +promised, at first sight, a poor return of instruction and +entertainment. The rear view presented one dull stretch of bricks +irregularly set even in those houses which displayed imposing fronts of +brown stone. The blinds were of a faded green color, and broken. The +stoops, the doors opening on them, and the steps leading down to the +dirty, sodden snow, had a generic look of cheapness and frailty. +"Whatever the censorious critic might say of the front, he could not +charge the rear with false pretences; for there was apparent, all over +it, an utter indifference to the opinions of mankind. Perhaps because +the owners of the houses did not expect mankind to study their property +from that point of view. + +"Say!" was Mr. Fayette Overtop's first remark, after a moment's +observation; "do not those rustic fences on the roofs remind you of the +sweet, fresh country in summer time?" Mr. Overtop alluded to the +barriers which are erected to keep people from getting into each other's +houses, and which are scaled not without difficulty even by cats. + +Neither of his friends answering this remark except by a quiet, +incredulous smile, Overtop continued, a little pettishly: + +"And you really mean to tell me that that pastoral object, happily +introduced on the roofs of houses, does not recall the green fields, +daisies, babbling brooks, and cloudless skies of early boyhood? Humbug!" +The speaker flattened his nose still more against the glass by way +of emphasis. + +"You look for beauties among the chimney pots, while I search for them +in back-parlor windows," said Matthew Maltboy. "Observe where I throw +my eye now." + +Mr. Maltboy threw his eye toward a house near the middle of the block. +His companions followed it, and saw a tall girl with prodigious skirts +standing at a window, and looking, as they thought, at them. The view +which she obtained was evidently not satisfactory, for with her +handkerchief she wiped off the moisture from several of the panes; and, +when the glass was clear to her liking, shook out the folds of her +dress, and peered forth again, this time more decidedly, at the window +occupied by the three friends. Her use of the handkerchief was not lost +upon Maltboy, who straightway pulled out his extensive cambric, and +polished up their window too. This improvement of the medium of vision +on both sides, enabled the three friends to form some idea of the tall +girl's personal charms. Her figure was straight; her hair was black; her +eyes were brilliant; her complexion was healthy; she exhibited jewelry +in her ears, on her neck, her bosom, her wrists, and her fingers; her +dress gave her a great deal of trouble, as she leaned forward to +look out. + +"Charming, is she not?" said Maltboy. + +"Hard to say, at this distance," returned Overtop, who, feeling +neglected in the matter of the rustic fence, was controversially +disposed. + +"You may find it so," said Maltboy; "but as for me, the flash of her +eyes--there, now, for instance!--is convincing enough." + +"Perhaps you have seen her before," remarked Marcus Wilkeson. + +"Perhaps," was that gentleman's answer, implying, by his accent and +accompanying wink, that he had seen her repeatedly. + +"And said nothing about her to us, you inveterate humbug," added Marcus. + +Mr. Maltboy felt the compliment conveyed in the word "humbug"--as most +people do when that accusation of shrewdness and deep dissembling is +brought against them--and smiled. + +"I confess," he replied, as he polished the window simultaneously with +the performance of that process across the way, "I confess I have +noticed her several times; but what was the use of mentioning it to a +pair of woman haters like you?" + +His two companions laughed pleasantly, thereby expressing their +gratification at the return compliment involved in the phrase +"woman haters." + +"You are such dull fellows now," continued Maltboy, "that perhaps you +will say this fair stranger is not looking at us; that she does not +desire to be seen by us--that is, by me; and that her rubbing of the +window with a handkerchief is not a signal which she expects to be +answered." + +"We say nothing," replied the disputatious Overtop. "We only wait for +proof. It is easy to find out whether a signal is meant or not. Rub the +window now." + +Maltboy did so, concluding the act with an unmistakable flourish of the +handkerchief. Whereupon the tall girl averted her face, pulled down the +curtain, and eclipsed herself. + +Wilkeson and Overtop laughed, and, with a common impulse, punched +Maltboy triumphantly in the ribs--a friendly salute that was always +vastly amusing to that gentleman. + +"Be it understood, at this stage of affairs," said Marcus, solemnly, +"that I reject the Overtop theory, and wash my hands of all +responsibility for Maltboy's misdeeds.--Hallo! There he is again." + +"Who? Where?" exclaimed his two friends. + +"In the house nearly opposite--the one with the grape arbor. Isn't he a +fine old fellow?" + +Overtop and Maltboy looked, and there saw, sitting at a window, and +placidly gazing out of it, an old gentleman with long and thick white +hair, a ruddy face, a white neckcloth, and a large projecting shirt +frill--which were all the peculiarities of person and dress that could +be distinctly made out. He was smoking a long pipe, and placidly rocking +himself to and fro. His appearance, through the two windows, was that +of a finely preserved relic of a past generation, + +"He always has a long pipe in his mouth, and looks benignantly into the +open air," said Wilkeson, + +"So even _you_ are not wholly devoid of curiosity, and do take some +interest in the people on our block," remarked Matthew Maltboy, + +"I have noticed the old gentleman often, when I have been reading near +the window; and own that I should like to know him. I think, too, from +certain signs, that he would not object to knowing me. Unless I am much +mistaken, he has bowed to me several times. But fearing that the +supposed bow might have been nothing more than a sleepy nod, I have +never ventured to answer it. Step back a moment, and see if he +observes me." + +Maltboy and Overtop retired a few paces. A moment afterward, the old +gentleman looked over to Wilkeson, and made a bow at him about which +there could be no mistake. + +"Answer him." "Answer him," said his two friends. Acting upon this +advice, Marcus Wilkeson, blushing, returned a courtly salute, which was +immediately reciprocated by a still lower bow, and a pleasant smile from +the old gentleman. Wilkeson bowed again, and added a smile. The old +gentleman did the same; and this odd exchange of civilities was +beginning to get awkward for Wilkeson, when the old gentleman's +attention was suddenly called off. + +A slender young man, whose broad black mustache contrasted unpleasantly +with the sallow whiteness of his face, dressed in the jauntiest costume +of the period, and bearing in one hand a black cane with a large ivory +handle, which looked, even in the distance, like a human leg, stood by +the old gentleman's side. The old gentleman put down his pipe, seized +the young man's disengaged hand, and gazed affectionately at him (so the +three observers thought). Some conversation then took place between +them, during which the old gentleman repeatedly pressed the young man's +hand, and sometimes reached up and softly patted him on the shoulder. +The young man appeared to receive the words and caresses of the old +gentleman with a sullen indifference. Several times he pettishly drew +his hand away, and at last shook his head fiercely, folded his arms, and +seemed (though the spectators could only conjecture that) to stamp the +floor with his foot. At this, the old gentleman bowed his head in his +hands. The young man held his defiant attitude unmoved, until, glancing +out of the window, he saw for the first time that he was watched. "With +a jerk, he pulled down the curtain, and cut off a scene which the three +observers had begun to find profoundly interesting. + +"Well," said Marcus Wilkeson, "though I have given up making calls as a +business, I shall certainly take the New-Year's privilege of dropping in +on the venerable unknown over the way." + +"Two things are plain," said Fayette Overtop. "One is, that the pale, +rascally looking young man is the old man's son. Now, I don't suppose +either of you will dispute that?" (Overtop paused a moment to receive +and dispose of objections, but none were made.) "The other is, that the +old fellow is immensely rich--worth a million or two, maybe. Perhaps you +_would_ like to argue that point." Overtop smiled, as if nothing would +give him greater pleasure than to annihilate a few dozen opinions to +the contrary. + +"To save argument, as usual, we admit everything," responded Wilkeson. +"But, pray condescend to tell us how you know this fine old boy to be +superlatively rich." + +Overtop smiled upon his ignorant friends, and answered: + +"Because he wears a white cravat. The man isn't a clergyman, is he? Do +clergymen smoke pipes? He isn't a Quaker, is he? Do Quakers, or those of +them who indulge in white cravats, wear their coat collars turned down? +Consult your own experience, now, and tell me whether you ever saw +anybody but a very rich man (with the exceptions already stated) wearing +a white cravat. I leave it to your candor." + +Wilkeson and Maltboy nodded their heads, as if stricken dumb with +conviction. + +Overtop, gratified with this ready acquiescence, modestly went on to say +that he would not undertake to explain the phenomenon; that task he left +to some more philosophical mind. He contented himself with making a +humble record of facts. + +"And now that each of you have made a discovery in the row of houses, +let me try my luck." Overtop rubbed the window, looked out, and +carefully surveyed the row from end to end, and back again. "Ah, I have +it!" he said. "A real mystery, too. Look at that four-story house near +the western end of the block, the one a trifle shabbier than its +neighbors. Do you see, in the open window, a man with a pale, +intellectual face, gray hair, and arms bare to the elbows, filing away +at something held in a vise before him? Now he stops to examine a +paper--a plan, probably--which he holds in his hand. Now he wipes the +perspiration from his forehead. Can't you see him?" + +"Distinctly," was the joint reply. + +"What do you suppose he is doing?" asked Overtop. + +"No idea," said Wilkeson. "Perhaps mending a teakettle." + +"Or repairing an umbrella," suggested Maltboy. + +Overtop smiled, and said: + +"A person with the slightest powers of observation, would see that that +man has genius in his face; that his thin arm is not used to hard +mechanical labor; that his brain is so heated with great ideas, that he +tries to cool it by opening the window. The tinkering of an umbrella or +teakettle would not make a man sweat in midwinter. You won't deny the +force of that suggestion." + +As he spoke, a young girl advanced from the back part of the room, and +stood by the pale workman's side. She wore a bonnet, and a shawl +tightly wrapped around her. Though the features of her face could not be +distinguished in the distance, it was not hard to detect a pleasant +expression in her eyes, a smile on her lips, and a high color on her +cheeks, as if she had just come in from the street. She held up a little +basket for the workman's inspection. + +He paused in his labor, took the girl's head between his hands, and +kissed her fondly on the brow. Then he opened the little basket, and +drew from it a loaf of bread and a piece of cheese, which he began +eating hurriedly. He also seemed, by signs, to press the girl to eat; +but she shook her head, smiled more than before, and looked up +affectionately into his face. Having bolted a few mouthfuls, the workman +placed the remains of the repast on the bench or table before him, +kissed the young girl, and resumed his work. She watched every motion of +his hand with eager eyes. Once she moved as if to close the window, but +he shook his head, and again wiped the sweat from his brow. + +He had consulted the paper, and attacked his task with fresh energy for +the third or fourth time, when his eyes happened to rest upon the window +full of scrutinizing faces. His lips moved in some sudden exclamation, +and then he shut the window with vehemence, and drew the curtain which +obscured the lower half of it. + +"Not a very kind reception of your theory, so far," said Marcus. + +"Prejudice--nothing more," said Overtop. "When they see that we have no +wish to pry into their private affairs, but are animated with a +neighborly regard for them, they will not repel our advances. It isn't +human nature." + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +QIGG. + +During the following two weeks, up to New Year's day, the three friends +made little progress in their observations. The tall girl in the immense +skirts appeared rarely to reward Matthew Maltboy's ardent gaze, and even +then seemed to look down at the dingy snow beneath, or the clouds +overhead, or to something or somebody across the way, but never to the +fluttering Maltboy. + +Nothing more was seen of the pale and grayhaired workman; for he kept +the lower curtain of his window jealously drawn. But at night his +shadow, strongly projected on the curtain, was in incessant motion; and +far into the morning hours a gigantic head and arms shifted and blended +upon it in grotesque forms. At the other window of the workman's +apartment the young girl often sat, book in hand, and moved her lips as +if she were reading aloud. Her eyes were never seen to wander to the +outer world with those longings for freedom and fresh air which are +natural to the youthful heart, but were always fixed upon the book, or +upon some object within the room. She was entirely unconscious of the +distant and imperfect scrutiny to which her form and movements were +subjected by Marcus Wilkeson, who had begun to take a strange interest +in her, and in the shadow on the curtain, since the healthy and amiable +old gentleman directly opposite had ceased to smoke his pipe and indulge +in his tranquil meditation daily. + +Twice only had he shown himself, and then, after a grave bow to Marcus +Wilkeson, who returned it with more than the usual inclination of head, +the old gentleman had taken a few whiffs at his pipe, looked out of the +window with a troubled air, and vanished from the sight of his +sympathizing observer, as if the quiet old sitting place had lost its +charm for him. The young man--the disturbing element of the old +gentleman's life, as Marcus Wilkeson regarded him--was not again seen +in the room where he had made his first appearance, but was discovered, +several days after that event, sitting at a table near a window in the +second story, and writing industriously. His labors were evidently not +disagreeable; for, after an hour's engagement with his pen, he would sit +back in his chair, laugh, take a long drink from a black bottle which +stood at his elbow, and light a fresh cigar. Whatever his occupation, he +was completely absorbed in it, and did not notice the pair of keen eyes +peering at him from behind a book in the house opposite. Every +afternoon, about three o'clock, the young man sat at the table with his +bottle, cigars, and writing materials, and pursued his pleasant labors. + +Marcus Wilkeson would never have pretended that it was not highly +improper to watch one's neighbors. He would have denounced it as +deserving of the severest reprobation. But he would have said, that if, +while he was sitting, according to his invariable custom, at his own +window, for the sole purpose of reading a book, people chose to bring +themselves within the range of his vision, he was not therefore under +obligations to vacate his seat. He would have insisted that any glances +which he might have directed at his neighbors, were so levelled in fits +of mental abstraction, or in the exercise of a friendly regard for them. +The Overtop theory he discarded as fallacious, and likely to get its +talented founder into trouble. + +That founder and his only follower, Maltboy, were determined, however, +to put the new social system into practice on New Year's day, and had +secured the ready services of Quigg, the grocer, as originally proposed +by the sagacious Overtop. Marcus Wilkeson obstinately refused to +participate in this projected grand tour; which refusal was too bad, +said Overtop, because the fourth seat in the double sleigh that had been +hired for the occasion would be left vacant. + +At last came New Year's day; and the sky was cloudless, and the sun was +bright, and the weather was just cold enough to make the blood tingle +pleasantly, and the snow was a foot deep, and well beaten down in the +side streets. The elements themselves had conspired to give the Overtop +theory every chance of success. + +J.M. Quigg, grocer, was elaborately attiring himself in the snug +sleeping room behind his store, at ten o'clock on the morning of the +eventful day. He little knew the tremendous importance of the part which +he was about to perform. He looked upon Overtop and Maltboy, not as the +expounders of a new social philosophy, but as cash customers to a +considerable extent, and as partners in defraying the heavy expenses of +a large double team. Mr. Quigg exercised the virtue of prudence even in +his dissipations, and derived pleasure from the reflection that he would +make his annual round of complimentary calls in an elegant turnout at a +moderate cost. + +Therefore Mr. Quigg hummed pleasantly as he dressed himself, by the aid +of a large mirror which he had taken for a bad debt, and which was the +only ornament of the plainly furnished little room. Mr. Quigg was a man +of business, and never fretted with cravats, nor made himself unhappy on +the subject of hair. Three turns and a pull adjusted the former; and a +half dozen well-directed dabs with a stiff brush regulated the latter. +Fifteen minutes after he began his toilet, he took a comprehensive view +of himself in the large mirror, and mentally expressed the conviction +that, for a man of thirty-seven, he was not bad looking. + +Quigg was right; and his just opinion of himself was shared by the young +widows and unmarried ladies of his acquaintance. He was about six feet +high, with a graceful figure, and the head of a statesman. A more +intellectual face, and a broader or more massive brow, assisted, +perhaps, in its general effect, by a slight baldness, were rarely if +ever seen. A distinguished professor of phrenology had picked out +Quigg's head from among half an acre of heads at a lecture upon that +subject in the city, and had pronounced it the "model head," greatly to +the disgust of all the other large-skulled men in the hall. The +professor had also assured Quigg, upon learning who and what he was, +that it was a solemn duty he owed to society to abandon the grocery +business, and devote himself to "philosophical culture, the development +of the humanities, and the true expansion of his interior +individuality." Notwithstanding this flattering opinion, Quigg still +sanded his sugar, and reduced his whiskey, and found his delight as well +as his-profit in those gross material pursuits. + +The interior Quigg, of whom the professor had spoken so hopefully, was +still undeveloped. The professor's views of Quigg's head had, however, +made a deep impression upon the owner of it, and had given to Quigg's +ordinary observations on the weather, the state of his health, and the +other familiar topics to which his remarks were principally addressed, +an oracular importance in his own opinion. Such were the deceptive +effects produced by his large, polished brow, and slow, imposing speech, +that he always seemed to be on the point of uttering vital truths. But +the listener's ear ached in vain for them. + +Quigg put on his overcoat, took a small glass of bitters from a bottle +kept behind the large mirror, locked up the store, proceeded to the +nearest restaurant, hastily despatched a lean, unsatisfactory chop and a +cup of weak tea, gave a half dime to the waiter who bade him, in a loud +and significant voice, "Happy New Year, sir," and then returning found +the double sleigh punctual to appointment. + +It was a swan-shaped vehicle, brightly painted, thickly covered with +buffalo robes, and drawn by two high-stepping horses, which tossed their +heads and shook their bells merrily as if they shared in the prevailing +jovialty of the day. + +On the front seat, and nearly filling up the whole width of the sleigh, +sat the driver. His shoulders were broad enough for two men; his legs +and arms were of twice the common size, and he had two well-defined +chins. He seemed to be double in all his dimensions, like the sleigh. + +"Hallo, Quigg!" said the driver, in a voice of double strength, snapping +his whip playfully at that gentleman as he approached. + +"Hallo to _you_, Cap," returned Quigg, pleasantly. "It is a very fine +day. I guess there will be a great many calls made." Quigg uttered these +words slowly, as if they were precious, and he hated to part with them. + +"Shouldn't wonder," answered Cap, which was a short name for Captain +(nobody knew of what), and added, without any apparent sequence of +ideas: "I s'pose you're goin' to take some brandy along, old fellow? +It's hardly fair for me to be sittin' into the cold outside, with +nothin' to drink, while you chaps are drinkin' your champagne punch +before a warm fire." + +Mr. Quigg reflected a moment, as one who reckons up profit and loss. He +then said: + +"A good idea, Cap. Brandy is not a bad thing on a cold day." He spoke +with impressive solemnity. + +"Or any other day," added the driver. "Partickley 'lection day. +Leastways, such was the 'pinion of the voters into my ward, last +December, when I run for School Inspector, you know. Unfortunately, I +didn't know the ropes then; and thought, when I got the nomination, I +was sure to be 'lected. My 'ponent issued tickets for free drinks at all +the rum mills into the ward. I didn't find out his game till about two +o'clock in the afternoon, and then I tried it myself. But I was too +late. He had six hours' start of me, and beat me by five hundred +drinks--I mean votes." + +Mr. Quigg nodded, and said, "Of course," as if he had often heard of +such instances, and there was nothing surprising in them. He then +abruptly cut off the Captain's political reminiscences, by unlocking the +store and entering it. After a few minutes' absence, he returned with a +half-gallon jug and a tin dipper. + +"A nice, fat little feller," rapturously exclaimed Captain Tonkins, +taking the proffered jug. Placing it in the bottom of the sleigh, where +such of the public as were stirring in that vicinity could not see the +operation, he half filled the tin dipper, and, raising it suddenly to +his mouth, drank the contents with a double gulp. "Prime stuff, that," +said the Captain, smacking his lips. "A hogshead of it would make a +school commissioner, an alderman, mebbe a major of you, Quigg." + +"I dare say," said Quigg. "But what would a dull, practical fellow like +me be good for in public life?" This was Quigg's habitual way of +depreciating himself, and it always impressed the hearer with a sense of +Quigg's eminent ability. + +Quigg then drew a pair of yellow gloves on his large, hairy hands, +slightly ripping the two thumbs and most of the fingers in the +operation, took a seat in the double sleigh, and proclaimed himself +ready to start. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +PLEASURE AS BUSINESS. + +Captain Tonkins cracked his whip with professional sonority over the +heads of his lively horses, and they started off at a slapping pace, +which brought them to the house of the three friends before the bells +had fairly begun to jingle in unison. The door was instantly opened, and +Overtop and Maltboy presented themselves, dressed in the most elaborate +and captivating style. Marcus Wilkeson appeared just behind them, in his +dressing gown and slippers, calmly smoking his well-browned Meerschaum. + +After the salutations of the day, both Overtop and Maltboy addressed a +last appeal to Marcus to give up his ridiculous prejudices, and join the +party; but he obstinately refused, saying that he should make only one +call, and that was upon the old gentleman over the way. + +The arrangements for the day had already been made. The party were to +call on a few dozen of Quigg's customers (selected from a carefully +prepared list of one hundred) within range of a mile or two; also on a +few friends of Overtop and Maltboy, who could not well be slighted, and +then come back to the block. + +Quigg looked upon the day as one of business, and not of pleasure, and +had methodized a system of callmaking, which was submitted to his +companions, and highly approved by them. The order of exercises was as +follows: First, a jerk at the doorbell; second, precipitate entrance, +hat in hand; third, "Happy New Year," remark on fine weather, and +introduction of friends; fourth, a second remark on fine weather, or any +other one remark which might occur to friends on inspiration of moment; +fifth, acceptance of one sip of wine, and one bite of cake, if any +offered, with compliments on excellence of both; sixth, reference to +list in hand, observation on the necessity of retiring, and regret for +the same; seventh, precipitate retreat. + +The system did not work smoothly at first, in consequence of Overtop's +and Maltboy's strained, excessive efforts to make themselves agreeable. +It happened that, at the first two or three houses visited, Maltboy +discovered charming young ladies, and could not resist the temptation to +linger beyond the prescribed minutes, and talk trifles to them. It also +fell out, that Overtop found a number of those sensible women for whom +his heart ever longed, and whose starving souls, as he called them, were +not to be satisfied with the dry crust of ordinary compliment. To them, +therefore, he addressed observations on the inner or spiritual +significance of the New Year's call; on the reminiscences of childhood +suggested by sleigh bells; on the typical meaning of snow as the shroud +of death, and, at the same time, the warming garment of coming life; on +wine or lemonade (as the case might be), as an emblem of hospitality; +and on many other little things as expressive of the loftiest truths. + +It was only after earnest remonstrances from Quigg, that the discursive +Overtop brought himself down to the rules of the day. In deference to +Quigg, Mr. Maltboy also steeled his too susceptible heart against the +attractions which he was perpetually encountering, and kept strictly to +the weather. He, as well as Overtop, was surprised to find that the +single stereotyped observation, "It's a fine day," was, after all, more +acceptable than a longer and more strikingly original remark for it +imposed no tax upon the conversational resources of the ladies, and left +them unfatigued to succeeding scores of visitors. + +About this time, it was observed of Captain Tonkins that he began to +show signs of fatigue, rocking heavily in his seat with every +oscillation of the sleigh, and talking thick like a jaded man. These +phenomena seeming to require some explanation, the Captain stated that +he had been up late the past three nights, and could keep himself awake +only by taking occasional draughts of Quigg's brandy. The Captain then +proceeded to indulge in random recollections of his political career, +and withering denunciations of one Larry Mulcahy, his successful rival +for the office of School Inspector, whom the Captain did not hesitate to +brand as a jailbird. + +When the party returned to the block where the Overtop theory was to be +tested, Mr. Quigg's services were found invaluable. He had not only been +the principal grocer in the vicinity for five years, but he had served +on Ward Committees for the relief of the poor at other people's expense, +and had participated largely in those admirable institutions for the +promotion of matrimony known as Sociables. Therefore, Quigg knew about +everybody on the block worth knowing. There were a few persons in that +old house near the corner, who sent in for herrings, cheap butter, and +pounds of flour, and whom, of course, he did not know. There was a queer +old Dutchman in that square, old-fashioned house in the middle of the +block, whom neither he nor anybody else knew. + +They went through half of the south side of the block, and found only +plain and commonplace people. Overtop and Maltboy began to be weary. The +former was gradually discovering that his theory was a bore. The latter +wondered whether Quigg knew the tall girl, concerning the identity of +the front part of whose residence Maltboy was at fault, although he knew +every brick of the rear. + +"In this 'ere house," said Quigg, "I shall be treated rudely, because +they owe me fifty dollars for groceries. It's a curious fact, but I have +noticed that debtors always act kind o' cold to creditors, as if it was +the creditors that owed the money." + +Mr. Quigg spoke with an important air, as if he had made an original +discovery in human nature. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +SOMETHING HIDDEN. + +While this exploring party were going through the block, Mr. Marcus +Wilkeson dressed himself with more than usual care, preparatory to a +call upon the unknown old gentleman over the way, who that very morning +had appeared at his window, the first time in three days, and tendered +the compliments of the season in two low bows and a smile. Having +carefully adjusted his necktie, and smoothed the creases of his gloves, +Mr. Wilkeson grasped his old friend, a hickory cane, by its sturdy +elbow, and marched forth to make his solitary visit. + +As 'he turned the corner of the street upon which the unknown old +gentleman's residence was situated, thinking of the oddity of the call +he was about to make, and half inclined to abandon it, he saw, in a +doorway a few yards in front of him, a little girl who bore a striking +resemblance to the patient creature that he had often noticed sitting at +a window in the room of the pale mechanic. A single glance at the +cracked and dirty front of the building established its connection with +the weather-stained and shaky rear premises in which the worker toiled +at his strange task from morning to night, and far into the +morning again. + +The little girl was earnestly talking with a rough, hungry-looking +fellow in a greasy cap and tattered blue overalls. As Marcus approached, +he heard the following fragment of conversation: + +"Yer can't fool this child again, now, I tell yer. Why don't he pay me? +_that's_ what I want to know. I _will_ go up." The man stepped forward, +as if to ascend the stairs. + +"Please don't, Mr. Gilsum," said the girl, in a sweet, pleading tone, +laying a red and toilworn little hand softly on his arm. "Papa will pay +you next week. He will, believe me, sir." + +"So you told me last week," growled Mr. Gilsum, "and the week before +that. It's all humbug. Why don't he pay me now? _that's_ what I want to +know." Again he put a foot forward, and was again restrained by the hand +of the little girl. + +"I have tried very hard to earn money, Mr. Gilsum," said the musical and +plaintive voice, _but_ have been disappointed. Next week I am sure I +will have some for you." + +"Pshaw!" ejaculated the man, pulling the greasy cap over his eyes in a +spirit of savage determination. "I can't waste time talking. I _will_ +find out why he don't pay me now." + +The inexorable Mr. Gilsum pushed aside the feeble hand of the little +girl, and was about to go up the stairs in good earnest, when Marcus +Wilkeson, who had lingered near the door to catch the exact purport of +the conversation, called out to him: + +"Hallo, my friend! what's the row?" + +Mr. Gilsum stopped, and, turning, said snappishly: + +"None of yer business. Unless," he prudently added, "yer a friend of the +comical old chap up stairs, and want to pay his debts." + +"I am a friend, and I will pay them," rejoined Marcus, speaking from the +impulse of the moment. Since he had become rich, and could afford the +luxury, he frequently spoke and acted upon impulse, without regard to +consequences. + +Mr. Gilsum's face suddenly changed from an aspect of moroseness to one +of bewitching amiability. He stood in the doorway, and said: + +"It's only a matter of ten shillings, sir, for brass and screws, and +little odds and ends from my shop--the locksmith's shop over in the next +street--you may remember it, sir. I'm sure I don't want to be hard on +the gentleman." + +To cut short explanations, which he hated, Marcus paid the locksmith his +ten shillings, and suggested that he need not wait longer. The +locksmith, having received the money, thought it incumbent upon him to +apologize and explain still further, till Marcus took hold of the door, +as if to close it, when he accepted the hint, and departed, mumbling an +apology as he went. + +The young girl, who had looked on in amazement, turned a pair of soft +blue eyes toward the face of the stranger, and said: + +"Papa will thank you very much, sir." + +Marcus now had an opportunity to observe her more closely. Her figure +was slightly formed, and undersized for her apparent age of seventeen +years. Her face would have been plain, but for one peculiarity which +made it charming, in his practised judgment. This rare excellence was +her complexion, which showed a perfect pink and white, without +roughness, spot, or blemish, under the strong light of a noonday sun, +made more dazzling by its reflection from the snow. Marcus had never +seen but one such complexion, and that was many years ago. He looked at +it in silent wonder, until the delicate bloom in the centre of her +cheeks began to invade the neighboring white, and the large blue eyes +drooped in confusion. + +"Pardon me, my child," said Marcus, in a gentle, reassuring voice. + +She looked up, much embarrassed, and said: + +"Will you be so good as to walk up and see my poor father, sir? He will +be delighted to meet a friend, for he is very much in want of one, sir." + +"I do not know him, my child; but I should be happy to make his +acquaintance." + +The girl was surprised to learn that her father's benefactor was a +stranger to him, and looked doubtingly at him for a moment--but only a +moment--and then ran briskly up the stairs, asking him to follow. + +The stairs were uncarpeted, and had little feet-worn hollows in the +middle of them. The banisters were rickety, and had been notched by the +knives of reckless tenants. The first and second floors were occupied by +different families (so Marcus inferred from the distinct set of baby +cries issuing from each), and the halls were dirty, and flavored with a +decided odor of washing day. But on the third story he saw a clean, +white floor, and drew breaths of pure air from an open rear window, and +heard no noise save the dull sound of filing. + +The little girl paused a second at a door bearing the inscription, +"Private," asked the visitor to please wait, and opened the door just +wide enough to admit her body, and entered, nearly closing it behind +her. In the one glance which Marcus then obtained of the interior of the +room, he saw the pale mechanic hastily rise from a jumble of cog wheels +before him, and put up a screen to shelter his work from observation, +after which he stepped forward, or rather sprang, to meet his child. + +Mr. Wilkeson heard a few words of hurried conversation between the +father and daughter, and then the door was thrown wide open, and the +mechanic stood in full view. He was a man of medium height, of a spare +build, and attired in faded, seedy black. His head seemed altogether too +large for his body; and his almost livid complexion, hollow cheeks, and +gleaming eyes, told a story of constant and consuming thought. The +strange, fixed glitter of his eyes was unpleasant to behold. Marcus had +noticed the same thing in insane persons. + +"My name is Minford," said the mechanic, in a deep and solemn voice, +"and I thank you for saving me from the annoying visits of that +impertinent fellow. I beg, sir, that you will give me your address, and +assure you that the sum shall positively be repaid to you next week." + +"Never mind the repayment," said Marcus, kindly. "The sum was a trifle +for me." + +The mechanic's eyes flashed with new fire, and his lower lip curved +with pride, as he answered: + +"But I shall insist on returning it, sir. We are temporarily poor, sir; +but we are not beggars yet, I trust that, some day, we shall be in a +position to confer benefits, instead of receiving them." + +Marcus knew that the man was turning over in his mind the troublesome +question of "MOTIVE," with which so many people like to make themselves +unhappy; and he therefore said: + +"I took the liberty of assisting you, sir, because I am a neighbor of +yours, living on the other side of the block, in a house which can be +plainly seen from your window; and I think it is the duty of neighbors +to be neighborly, on New Year's day at least. My name is Marcus +Wilkeson." + +The mechanic's face assumed a pleasanter expression. "Perhaps," said he, +"you are the gentleman that I have sometimes seen sitting with a book, +in a window covered with grape vines?" + +"I am," returned Marcus. + +"As a scholar, then--as one who is superior to mean motives and vulgar +curiosity--you are welcome to my poor home. Pray, walk in, sir. Pet, +give the gentleman a chair." + +The girl, whose face had been clouded during the first part of this +conversation, brightened up at its close, and obeyed her father with +alacrity, brushing the clean chair with her handkerchief, to make it the +more acceptable to their visitor. She also took his hat and cane, and +placed them carefully away. + +The room was simply but neatly furnished, and very clean. The hand of +taste and order was everywhere visible. Snow-white curtains festooned +the two small windows, and concealed all of a turn-up bedstead but two +of its legs. A small array of white crockery shone from an open closet; +and a squat-looking stove, which made the apartment agreeably warm, was +smartly polished, and was evaporating cheerful music out of a bright +teakettle. Through a door partly ajar could be seen another room, +covered with a rag carpet, and the companion of the first in simplicity +and neatness. + +Marcus had not intended to look at the mechanic's corner, which was +almost completely screened from view, being desirous to justify the high +opinion which Mr. Minford had expressed of him; but his eyes were +irresistibly attracted to the mysterious spot, and obtained a clearer +glimpse, through an open space between the two screens, of a something +composed of cogwheels, springs, bands, and levers. His host, observing +this casual glance, much to the guest's mortification, rose, and placed +the screens close together at right angles, thus shutting out a view of +the corner. + +Mr. Minford opened his lips as if to offer some explanation of the act, +but did not offer it. A moment afterward, he said: + +"I have not always been a poor man, Mr. Wilkeson. Six years ago I +possessed a handsome fortune, which enabled me to pursue certain +philosophical experiments, in which I had taken great interest, at +leisure. An unfortunate speculation in real estate, year before last, +nearly ruined me. I converted the remains of my property into cash, and +went on with my experiments, undiscouraged. Like all laborers in the +cause of science--which is the cause of humanity--I have met with many +obstacles. Several times, when I have been on the point of perfecting my +great invention, some small, unforeseen difficulty has occurred, +compelling me to reconstruct large portions of the machinery. Eighteen +months passed away, and I found myself penniless. I tried to borrow +money, but without success. Now, who do you suppose has supported us the +last three months?" + +"Some benevolent relative, perhaps," said Mr. Wilkeson, hazarding a wild +guess. + +"You are right, sir. And a near and dear relative it is--no other than +my little Pet here." Mr. Minford placed his right hand fondly on the +shining head of the young girl, who sat on a low stool by his side, +looking into his face. + +She blushed deeply, and said: + +"You forget the unknown good friend who sent the letters with money to +you, papa." + +"No, no, I don't, Pet," continued Mr. Minford, patting her playfully on +the cheeks; "but you were the dearest and sweetest of my guardian +angels. You know you were, you rogue. Why, sir, you will hardly believe +it, but this little creature, when she knew our money was nearly gone, +taught herself the art of embroidery, with the aid of some illustrations +from an old magazine, and in less than a fortnight could work so +beautifully, that she was able to earn from three to four dollars a +week. When she first told me that she was going out to look for work, I +opposed it fiercely; but the obstinate little Pet would have her way. +She was lucky enough to get a job from a milliner, and pleased her +employer so well, that steady work was given to her, until last week, +when the kind-hearted lady died, and now little Pet has nothing to do. +Some people think, because she is young--" + +"Please don't talk about me any more, papa," said Pet, who had been +blushing deeply, and looking very beautiful in the visitor's eyes. "You +forget what the postman used to bring you every Saturday." + +"No, I don't, you little, troublesome, impertinent Pet. I was just about +to speak of it, when you interrupted me. You must know, Mr. Wilkeson, +that every Saturday the postman, on his first morning round, delivered +to me a letter, marked 'New York City,' containing two dollars, without +a word of writing inside, and addressed to me in large capitals, each +nearly half an inch long. The object of this singular style of address +was either to make it so plain that the postman could not mistake, or to +disguise some handwriting which otherwise I might recognize. Now, as I +have no relatives living, and no friends that I know of, who would lend +me a dollar except on the best security, I am greatly puzzled, as you +may suppose, to guess the name of my unknown benefactor. Generous man! +For aught I know, he may now be dead, or himself reduced to poverty; +for, last Saturday, the regular weekly remittance failed to come." + +"Then I see that I am just in season to help you," said Marcus Wilkeson, +who, during the recital of this brief history, had decided upon his +course of action. + +"I thank you most gratefully," returned Mr. Minford, "and fully +appreciate the noble motives of your conduct. Your appearance convinces +me that you are entirely disinterested. But I should feel ashamed to +take money from you, without giving some security for its repayment. I +shall therefore insist upon making over to you a certain interest in the +invention, the most valuable of modern times, which lies almost finished +behind those screens. Let me give you some idea of it, and you can then +decide how much money you will advance, merely as a matter of business. +I cannot consent to put our negotiations upon any other ground. The +invention, then, is--" The speaker looked at the corner as he spoke, +and paused. + +Marcus Wilkeson knew that the inventor was about to part with his secret +unwillingly, and that he would regret it forever after. To save him from +unpleasant feelings on that score, and to maintain friendly relations +between them for the future, Marcus put a stop to the reluctant +disclosure. He said: + +"Never mind it, Mr. Minford. I know nothing of mechanical matters, and +take no interest in them. Your explanation would only be wasted on me. +Besides, it is entirely uncalled for, as I am willing to take your own +opinion of the invention, and will pay you five hundred dollars for a +one-tenth interest in it, if those terms will suit." Marcus took a keen +delight in acting upon this singular impulse, and was sorry he had not +said a "thousand," when he saw the glow of happiness that irradiated the +sweet face of Pet, still sitting on the stool by her father's side. + +[Illustration: THE BOY BOG] + +"Heaven bless you, sir!" said Mr. Minford. "You will be the means not +only of relieving me and my dear child, but also of conferring the boon +of a great discovery upon mankind. But your terms are too liberal, +sir. I shall insist upon assigning one fifth of my right to you, which, +mark my prediction, will prove of itself a fortune. Furthermore, I feel +that I ought, if only to show my complete confidence in you, to tell you +what it is. It is--" Mr. Minford hesitated for a word. + +"Now I beg, as a particular favor, that you won't tell me," said Marcus, +goodhumoredly. "If you bore me with any of those dull details, +I'll--I'll take back my offer. As to the proportion of the invention +which I am to have, I will accept one fifth, since you insist on it, not +because I want it, but that we may not say another word about +the matter." + +"As you please, sir. But how shall I sufficiently thank you?" + +Marcus, who was already overcome with the gratitude which shone from the +large, soft eyes of the young girl, answered, with a laugh and a blush +(he had not outgrown the habit of reddening on occasions): + +"By changing the subject." + +Mr. Minford was about to protest against this extraordinary method of +thanking a benefactor, when a rap was heard at the door. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +THE BOY BOG. + +In reply to the invitation, "Come in," a tall boy opened the door, and +started back on seeing a stranger. + +"Do come in, Bog," said Mr. Minford. "I have good news to tell you. This +is a friend of ours, Mr. Wilkeson. What with his running of errands, and +doing little jobs for us, we really couldn't get along without him. Oh, +walk in, Bog; you're always welcome here." + +"Now _do_ come in, Bog," added the little girl, in a winning tone, +rising from her stool, stepping to the door, and placing a hand on +his shoulder. + +The new comer, after a few shuffles on the threshold, and an +unintelligible murmur of words, walked in with painful awkwardness, and +took a seat upon a corner of the chair which Pet offered him, as if the +whole chair were more of a favor than he could conscientiously accept; +He was a bony, strongly built stripling, with a record of anywhere from +seventeen to nineteen years written in his red, resolute, honest face. +He wore a coarse but neat suit of boy's clothes, one inch too small in +every dimension, a white turn-down collar, and a black neckerchief +fastidiously tied; and carried a slouched cloth cap in his hand, with +which he slapped his knees alternately, after he had taken a seat, and +continued to do so without cessation. + +"Well, Bog," said Mr. Minford, kindly, but condescendingly, "you are +just in time to hear good news. This gentleman has taken a partnership +in my invention (Mr. Minford thought it best to state the case that +way), and, with his assistance, I shall be able to complete it and bring +it before the public immediately." + +"Glad to hear it, sir," answered the boy Bog, blushing hard, lifting his +eyes from the floor long enough to glance at Mr. Minford and his +daughter, and all the while slapping his knees vigorously. + +"He is in the bill-posting business," said Mr. Minford to Marcus. "You +may have seen him at the head of his company of walking advertisers. +Ha! ha!" + +Marcus remembered having seen that honest face, that thick head of hair, +and that identical cap, sticking out of the top of a portable wooden +frame covered with placards, setting forth the virtues of quack +medicines, the excellencies of dry goods, or the unequalled attractions +of concert saloons. He also remembered that this wooden frame was much +taller than any of the long procession of frames which followed it, and +that, from a hole in the right side thereof, protruded a fist about the +size of the boy Bog's, clutching a broomstick, with which the inmate +kept a semblance of order among the wilful and eccentric occupants of +the frames behind him. "Oh, yes; I have seen you very often, Bog. How +do you like the business?" said Marcus, pleasantly. + +"Very well, sir, thank you," replied Bog, with his eyes still on the +floor, "'cept when the boys poke fun at us; 'cos we can't run after 'em +in them boxes, and wollop 'em. 'S rather hard, that." Bog caught Miss +Minford's eye as he concluded these remarks, and blushed till he +perspired, to think that he should have dropped such a brutal +observation in presence of that young lady. + +Mr. Minford noticed the confusion of his young friend, and +unintentionally added to it, by saying: + +"Bog is a good boy. By his industry, he earns eight or ten dollars a +week, not only supporting himself, but his aunt." + +"Not this week, nor last week neither, Mr. Minford," said Bog, mopping +the modest sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his coat. "The +adv'tisin' line a'n't as good as't used to be. I only got three jobs +with my company the last fortnight, and nary cent of pay from any of +'em. Of course, all my boys had to be paid just the same." + +"And you paid them?" asked Marcus. + +"Certainly," said Bog. + +"Then be good enough to accept five dollars from me, as a reward for +your honesty," said Marcus, acting upon another of his impulses. + +"No, thank you, sir. No, thank you," returned Bog, quickly, to prevent +Marcus from pulling the money out of his pocket. "I sha'n't take it, +sir; I won't have it anyway. I'm goin' into the reg'lar bill-postin' +business, as Jack Fink's assistant, to-morrow, and can earn all I want." +Bog blushed, but this time with honest pride, though he was flustered to +look up and see that Miss Minford nodded in approval of his +independent spirit. + +Bog then slapped each knee about a dozen times with his cap, and +betrayed many symptoms of fever heat and great mental distress. After +which, he said that he had only called to see if he could do +anything for them. + +"Now do you mean to tell us that it is not a regular New Year's call," +said Mr. Minford, playfully, "and that you have not a dozen more +to make?" + +Bog looked guilty of an enormous fraud, dropped his cap, in his +confusion, twice, murmured something inaudible, rose to his feet, and +backed out of the room, making one comprehensive bow to everybody, and +saying "Good-night" before it was two P.M. + +As Bog shut the door, everybody laughed, but not so loud as to be heard +by the boy; and, under the cover of the general good humor, Marcus rose, +and said that he must go. He was afraid he had made his visit too long +for a first one. He would call again on the following day, if agreeable, +and complete the proposed arrangement. In conclusion, he placed his card +in Mr. Minford's hand, with the names of a few references pencilled on +the margin. + +Mr. Minford was very sorry that their pleasant acquaintance should take +his leave so abruptly, and hoped that they would enjoy many visits from +him, not merely as a business partner (Mr. Minford laid emphasis on +this), but as a friend. + +Pet repeated her father's regrets and hopes in the more impressive +language of her sweet eyes, and, for the twentieth time that day, +conjured up, in the memory of Marcus Wilkeson, a vague reminiscence of +the distant past. + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +MALTBOY'S TWENTIETH AFFAIR. + +The house which had elicited Quigg's last sagacious remark, was a +three-story brownstone front, and was one of the finest looking on the +south side. The heavy mahogany door was opened by a slovenly girl, who +ushered the callers into the front parlor, which was carefully darkened, +according to the custom of the day. The only objects plainly visible +were two female figures, each seated near a front window, under the +rosy shade of damask curtains artfully disposed. One of the ladies, whom +Matthew Maltboy was not slow to recognize, looked like a fountain of +pink silk, gushing out with great vehemence in high, curving jets on +every side; from which fountain a slim, graceful figure had risen, as +far as the waist, like a modern Arethusa. The gleam of a shapely neck, +of a pearl necklace and diamond cross, of diamond earrings, of an +enormous gold brooch, of golden gyves an inch broad on each wrist, as +the rose-tinted rays fell on those natural and artificial charms, +produced a dazzling effect in the shady corner. On plainer persons, this +display might have seemed, in Maltboy's eyes, a glaring instance of bad +taste. But, looking at that small, oval face, those large, flashing +black eyes, complexion of red and white, so beautifully blended that it +hardly seemed a work of nature, pouting lips, even, white teeth, and +heavily braided hair, Maltboy thought that no decorations could be-too +gaudy for a creature of such radiant loveliness. + +At the same instant (as their feet passed the parlor threshold) that +Maltboy made these comprehensive observations, the quick eyes of Fayette +Overtop were scanning the lady that basked in the subdued light of the +other window. She rose from a smaller fountain of silk to a less height +than her companion. She was fat to such a degree, that the bodice of her +dress seemed ready to burst with the excessive pressure beneath, +immediately suggesting to every beholder the obvious humanity of +enlarging it, by taking only a small portion from the superfluous silk +below. She was quite pretty, and very healthy, and had a smile lurking +on her lips, and in the corners of her small blue eyes, and in the +dimples of her round, red cheeks, and in the curved crease which was +beginning to show under her apple of a chin. She wore plain colors, and +exhibited no ornaments save a large brooch with braided hair in it. The +lean Overtop immediately felt a tender inclination toward this fat +young lady. + +Mr. Quigg paid the compliments of the season in his neat, settled +style, to Miss Whedell--the tall young lady--who received them with +marked coldness, and then begged leave to introduce Messrs. Overtop and +Maltboy, to whom she smiled graciously, rising slightly from her chair, +and sinking back again, without disturbing the symmetrical flow of the +silken fountain. With a wave of her jewelled right hand she performed +the ceremony of introduction between the three callers and Mrs. +Frump--the fat young lady--who also carefully raised herself about two +inches from her chair, and lowered herself again, without disarranging +a ripple. + +In compliance with an invitation from Miss Whedell, the three callers +sat down. Mr. Maltboy gravitated by a natural instinct to the side of +his charmer. Mr. Overtop was drawn by an irresistible impulse into the +vicinity of Mrs. Frump, having detected in her general appearance +certain indications of what he called "a sensible woman." Mr. Quigg, +feeling that he was one too many, took a "seat equally removed from the +two ladies, and commenced playing soft tunes on his hat, and looking +vacantly about the room. + +"I had begun to wonder, Mr. Maltboy," said Miss Whedell, "what makes our +friends so backward to-day. I do declare, we have not had a caller for +more than--how long is it, Gusty, since Colonel Bigford dropped in?" + +Maltboy thought her voice had a sweet, metallic ring. + +"About half an hour," replied Mrs. Frump, after a brief mental +calculation. + +"Why, Gusty!" exclaimed Miss Whedell; "how can you sit there and tell +such stories? You know it is not five minutes." + +"Just as you please, dear," said Mrs. Frump, leaving on the minds of her +hearers the impression that her estimate was the correct one. + +"I never saw anything so slow," pursued Miss Whedell. "Would you believe +it, Mr. Maltboy--here are two hours gone, and we have not had more +than--how many callers have we had, Gusty? You keep account of them." + +Mrs. Frump drew out a little memorandum book from one of her pockets, +and consulted. "Exactly eleven, Clemmy," said she. + +"Gusty Frump," returned Miss Whedell, with some warmth, "you ought to be +ashamed of yourself! We have had fifty callers, to my certain +knowledge." + +"I presume you are right," said Mrs. Frump, with a smile that irradiated +the whole of her fat face, and again imparted the idea that Miss Whedell +was wrong. + +"For one," said Matthew Maltboy, improving the opportunity to put in a +word, "I should not be surprised to learn that you had a hundred." + +Miss Whedell appreciated the delicate compliment, and beamed fascination +upon him. + +"It has been a horrid, dreary winter, has it not, Mr. Maltboy?" said +she, in a tone that invited sympathy and confidence. + +Mr. Maltboy, supposing that she alluded to the prevalent snow and ice of +the season, said that it certainly had. + +"No balls, no opera--or none to speak of--no parties, no anything. You +will hardly believe it, Mr. Maltboy, but I declare I haven't been to +twenty parties this winter--have I, Gusty?" + +"To only two that I know of," responded Mrs. Frump, in a winning voice. + +"You provoking creature," said Miss Whedell, "to talk so, when you know +that I have been to at least eighteen parties!" Miss Whedell scowled +charmingly as she spoke, and then added, with a pleasant smile, for the +benefit of Mr. Maltboy: "She's a gay young widow; and you know what +widows are." + +Mr. Maltboy's knowledge of that species of the human family was +extensive and exact. He nodded, to signify that he knew something of +them, and felt forearmed, from that moment, against the charms of +Mrs. Frump. + +Mrs. Frump told Miss Whedell that she thanked her very much for the +compliment, and laughed so prettily, that Fayette Overtop determined to +apply some of his grand tests for the discovery of sensible women. + +Abandoning the vein of commonplace conversation which he had worked +during the five minutes since his arrival, he remarked: + +"It really makes us feel young again--does it not, Mrs. Frump?--to renew +this charming custom of receiving and making calls." + +Mr. Overtop spoke in general terms, like a philosopher; whereas Mrs. +Frump made a personal application of the remark to herself, and replied, +rather coldly: "I have no doubt that it makes _old_ persons feel +younger," and then she looked at Matthew Maltboy, and seemed to be +listening to the conversation between him and Miss Whedell. + +Mr. Overtop paused a moment, and tried again: "Is it not pleasant, +though sad, Mrs. Frump, to think of the friends whom we knew many, many +years ago, who no longer live to greet us on this festal day?" The +speaker alluded to mankind at large. + +Mrs. Frump responded tartly, that she could not speak from experience, +of course, but she presumed that Mr. Overtop's opinion was correct. And +again she glanced at Maltboy. + +Mr. Overtop briefly rested, and then remarked: + +"It may be merely a poetical conceit of mine, but it seems to me that +the horses prance higher, and shake their bells more merrily on New +Year's than any other day, as if they partook in our enjoyment of the +occasion. May not the horse, by some mysterious instinct, know that it +is the beginning of the year?" + +Mrs. Frump smiled, and answered: "Not being a horse, of course I can't +say. But I would suggest, whether ostlers do not give their animals an +extra quantity of oats on New Year's day, to make their action +more stylish?" + +Mr. Overtop marked a quizzical expression in the widow's left eye, and +was disgusted. + +For the third time she looked intently at Matthew Maltboy, who was +putting in a few words with great animation; and then turned her face +toward Mr. Quigg, who was taking his third mental inventory of the +furniture, and executing "Hail Columbia," with variations, on his hat. + +"It's a finer New Year's day than the last one, is it not, Mr. Quigg?" + +Mr. Quigg, who had an astonishing memory for dates and conditions of the +weather, replied, after a second's reflection: + +"It is a much finer day, Mrs. Frump. It rained last New Year's. Perhaps +you may remember my leaving an umbrella at the house where you were then +stopping, in Sixteenth street, and my calling for it again, on which +occasion you said I reminded you of Paul Pry, in the play, who was +always forgetting his umbrella." + +The widow laughed, and said that she distinctly remembered the +circumstances. + +Mr. Quigg, thus encouraged, went on: + +"New Year's days differ very much. The one before the last was very +snowy in the forenoon, with hail in the afternoon; and the one before +that was so mild, that I found an overcoat really uncomfortable. The +one before--" + +"Excuse me for the interruption," said Mrs. Frump, suddenly, "but I +can't help saying how much Mr. Maltboy looks like Dr. Warts. Doesn't +he, Clemmy?" + +"Like Dr. Warts!" exclaimed Miss Whedell. "Who's he?" + +"Why, don't you remember, Clemmy, the doctor that you consulted about +your hair?" The widow looked the picture of guilelessness as she asked +the question. + +Miss Whedell turned slightly red in parts of her face that were not red +before, and involuntarily raised her hands to two heavy braids of hair +which fronted each ear, and adjusted them. Then she said, sarcastically: + +"Mr. Maltboy must feel much flattered at being compared with a notorious +quack." + +Mrs. Frump, with a laugh spreading all over her gentle face, replied: + +"Oh! of course you call him a quack, because he could not save your--" + +"You are rude, madam," said Miss Whedell, with emotion. + +"And you are silly, miss," retorted Mrs. Frump, still smiling, "to take +offence at nothing." + +"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, madam." + +Greatly to the relief of the three callers, who were seized with a +desire to laugh aloud during this short, snapping dialogue, a bell rang, +and a new figure entered upon the scene. The two ladies rose about three +inches, and greeted him as Mr. Chiffield. Mr. Chiffield bowed stiffly, +smiled mechanically, and cast a sweeping glance at the three men +present. This glance, and the looks with which it was met, called up a +singular train of associations. + +Maltboy remembered the new comer as a fellow who had trod on his corns +getting into an Amity street stage. Overtop remembered him as an +eccentric individual, who always carried, without the slightest +reference to existing weather, an umbrella under his arm, with the point +rearward, and held at just the angle to pierce the eye of a person +walking incautiously after him. Overtop had frequently felt a strong +inclination to pull the umbrella out from behind, and ask the bearer to +carry it in a less threatening manner. + +Mr. Chiffield, on the other hand, readily recalled Matthew Maltboy as a +suspicious person whom he had seen hanging around an up-town hotel, +about a year and a half before (when Maltboy was paying his ineffectual +addresses to a cruel Cuban beauty who passed the summer months at that +house). Mr. Chiffield had always supposed him to be a confidence man of +superior abilities. + +Of Overtop, Mr. Chiffield was vaguely reminiscent. Unless he was +mistaken, that person was the one who wore an entire suit of pepper and +salt, including a felt hat, necktie, and gaiters, two summers before. + +Mr. Quigg was a novelty in Mr. Chiffield's eyes; but Mr. Chiffield was +well known by sight to Mr. Quigg, who also remembered to have heard that +he was a partner in the great drygoods house of Upjack, Chiffield & Co. + +Mr. Chiffield was about forty years of age, and had a bald head, a +square, heavy face, scanty whiskers, small, shrewd eyes, and a bilious +complexion. He dressed in profound black, wore his necktie negligently, +exhibited neither ring nor breastpin nor gold chain, spoke as if he were +always thinking inwardly of his private business, and never laughed. +These peculiarities indicated, beyond any doubt, that Mr. Chiffield was +a wealthy man; though it might be difficult to trace the exact processes +of reasoning by which this conclusion was reached. Any unprejudiced +stranger, seeing Mr. Chiffield, and being told that he was a partner in +a large drygoods house, would instantly think, "That drygoods house will +stand in the midst of fires, earthquakes, and financial revulsions." + +With that fine instinct peculiar to lovers, Matthew Maltboy immediately +recognized in Mr. Chiffield a rival--and a dangerous one. Having seen +much of society, Maltboy was well aware that Mr. Chiffield's mature age, +his grim appearance, his sparse whiskers, and even the bald spot on the +top of his head, were eminent advantages with which youth and bloom, and +a full head of hair could not cope--unless with the aid of that +fascination which Matthew flattered himself that he possessed, and +which, he thought, he had used to some purpose during his hurried +conversation with his twentieth enslaver, Miss Whedell. The usages of +New Year's day, as well as frequent impatient nods from Quigg, and +suggestive coughs from Overtop, would not permit of his staying longer. +He therefore, rose to take his leave, his fellow pilgrims doing +likewise, when Miss Whedell remarked that they were in a great hurry, +and regretted that they could not remain a few minutes more. + +The captivated Maltboy toyed, with his hat in an uncertain way, and was +half disposed to sit down again, when Quigg hastily produced his +visiting list, and said, with his best business smile: + +"We Should certainly be very happy, Miss Whedell; but we have +seventy-five calls still to make, and it is now (consulting his watch) +two o'clock."' + +As the three visitors withdrew (declining, at every step, a pressing +invitation to taste the refreshments which were piled in mountainous +form on a table in an adjoining alcove), Maltboy exchanged a look of +deep, sentimental meaning with Miss Whedell, who rose at least six +inches from her chair, and followed it with a slight hostile glare at +Mr. Chiffield, upon whose equable face it fell harmless. Overtop bowed +coldly to everybody, as if he were disappointed in the human species; +and Quigg gave a parting grin at the room in general, and at nobody or +nothing in particular, + +"We're all right, Top," whispered Maltboy, as they descended the steps +to the sidewalk. "She smiled slightly when I mentioned having seen her +from our back parlor window. I have obtained permission to call again." + +"You'll have to do it without me, my dear fellow," returned Overtop, +tossing back his head from force of habit, the offensive cowlick being +then suppressed by his hat. "Nothing on earth could induce me to speak +to that dull widow again." + +"She doesn't live there," said Quigg. "She is some connection, I +believe, of the queer old Dutchman that I spoke of, and is probably only +helping Miss Whedell to receive callers. I should think, from the way +they abuse each other, that they were old and dear friends." + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +MRS. SLAPMAN AT HOME. + +Full of new and pleasant thoughts, Marcus Wilkeson walked on toward the +half-antique house which contained the strange old gentleman. Just as he +was about to swing back the iron gate of the front yard, he saw, at a +distance, the two friends of his bosom and Mr. Quigg descending a flight +of steps to the sidewalk. They saw him at the same time; and both +Overtop and Maltboy violently beckoned him to approach. Mr. Quigg added +his solicitations in a calmer and more dignified manner, moving his arm +like an automaton three times from the elbow. Even the driver, Captain +Tonkins, in the spirit of invitation peculiar to his mental state, +steadied himself on the seat, poked his right arm and his long whip +toward Marcus, and said: "Hu-hullo there--come along?" Having done this, +Captain Tonkins furtively poured a gill of brandy into the tin cup, and +drank it under cover of the buffalo robe. + +In compliance with this general request, Marcus forbore to open the gate +of the old gentleman's house, and joined his friends. + +"How many people have you called on, you old humbug?" asked Overtop, as +Marcus drew near. + +Marcus was on the point of alluding to the chance acquaintances that he +had made that morning; but a moment's reflection stopped him. + +"I told you," said he, "that my only visit was to be to our odd old +neighbor. I was at his gate, when you called. And now, what do +you want?" + +"I want to tell you," said Matthew Maltboy, "that Miss Whedell--the +Juno-like young lady with the handkerchief, you know--is--" + +"All your fancy painted her," interrupted Marcus. + +"She's lovely--she's divine," said Maltboy, rapturously finishing the +quotation. "I have made an impression. Congratulate me, old boy!" + +"I do," said Marcus, laughing, "and only hope that you will find it as +easy getting out of the scrape as into it. And what have you +discovered, Top?" + +"That there isn't a sensible woman or an original idea, so far, on the +block. I wouldn't budge an inch farther, but for Quigg's promise to +introduce me to a young widow who lives next door--a regular prodigy of +science and art, according to his story. I think you said she was a +widow, Quigg?" + +"I suppose so," said Quigg, "as I never saw nor heard of her husband; +and she's lived on this block five years last May." + +The three besieged Marcus to lay aside his scruples for once, and join +them in visiting this accomplished lady. Marcus fought them until his +patience was exhausted, and then gave in. + +The door to which they climbed, bore, on a large and shining plate, the +name "Slapman." This door was opened to them by a tall negro in livery, +which, like the wearer, had a borrowed appearance. As they entered, they +saw a little wiry man, with a pale face full of wrinkles and crowsfeet, +bounding up the first flight of stairs, two steps at a time. When the +little man reached the first landing he looked back, and directed a +strange, suspicious glance at the callers. + +The opening of the parlor door discovered a room full of men, who were +sipping wine, eating cold fowl and confections, talking and laughing +loudly with each other, or exchanging repartees with a lady who stood in +the centre of the apartment and shed her light upon all. This lady was +Mrs. Grazella Jigbee Slapman. + +Previous to her marriage, she had been not altogether unknown to the +corners of several weekly newspapers, under the name of "Grazella." She +had also cultivated a natural talent for painting, so assiduously, that +a little cabinet piece of hers, representing a cat, a lobster, and a +plate of fruit, was considered good enough to exhibit in the window of a +Broadway print shop, in which her uncle was a silent partner, and was +approvingly paragraphed in a paper partly owned by her first cousin. To +gifts capable of producing results like these, she added a great +aptitude for music; although an incurable indolence, she gracefully +said, had always prevented her from learning the piano. While yet +sustaining the name of Jigbee, she had achieved a high reputation in +private circles as a merciless judge of music. But her conversation had +been, from earliest girlhood, her chief attraction. She possessed the +extraordinary faculty of talking with a dozen persons upon a dozen +different subjects at the same time. + +Unlike many people similarly endowed, she did not exercise this +wonderful gift for the brutal purpose of putting down feebler +intellects, but only to elicit TRUTH, which she often declared to be the +sole object of her existence. When, by her alliance with Mr. Slapman, a +thrifty speculator in real estate, she was installed as mistress of a +fine house and furniture, and a few thousand a year, the lady naturally +gathered about her a still larger circle of admirers. Her researches for +TRUTH were met halfway by people that were supposed to deal in that +article, abstractly considered; such as poets, painters, sculptors, +reformers, inventors. Anybody with a new idea was sure to be understood +and encouraged by her. Her fondness for new ideas was as keen as an +entomologist's for new bugs or butterflies. + +Mrs. Slapman had not made the mistake of neglecting her physical and +perishable charms in deference to her intellectual and immortal nature. +She was twenty-four years old, and had clear, sparkling eyes, a fresh +complexion, good teeth, rich, heavy hair, and a substantial figure. The +pursuit of TRUTH did not disagree with her health. + +Mrs. Slapman bustled out of the little knot of persons about her, and +advanced in a frank, hearty way to meet her visitors. To Mr. Quigg she +nodded patronizingly, as to one whom she had long known to be guiltless +of new ideas; but to the strangers who sought her society, she addressed +a cordial smile. + +Mr. Quigg, having performed his office, judiciously stepped aside, and +left the honors and burdens of conversation with the three friends. + +Matthew Maltboy, with the rashness of youth, opened the verbal +engagement, by remarking that it was a fine day. + +This wretched conventionalism was met by a "Very," so obviously +sarcastic, that Marcus Wilkeson decided not to utter a remark which was +at that moment on his lips. + +At this embarrassing juncture, Fayette Overtop came to the rescue. "As +we alighted from our sleigh, Mrs. Slapman, I noticed how firmly the snow +at the edge of the street was pressed down by the feet of the hundreds +who have called on you; and I could not but think how truly that white +surface, upon which the prints of so many boots were beautifully +blended, typified the purity of the motives which brought the owners of +those boots to your door." + +"A most original and charming remark!" said Mrs. Slapman. "I must repeat +it to Chickson. The author of 'A Snowflake's Lament' will appreciate +that felicitous observation. You have heard of Chickson?" + +Mr. Overtop read new books, magazines, literary papers, in considerable +quantities, but did not remember to have ever met with the name. +Speaking upon impulse, and to avoid explanation, however, he said: + +"Oh, yes--certainly, but have not the pleasure of his acquaintance." + +"You should know each other," said Mrs. Slapman. "Excuse me a minute." +She ran with girlish haste to the other end of the parlors, and brought +back an undersized young man. When he had been introduced to Overtop, +and shaken hands with him, the enthusiastic hostess quoted, somewhat +imperfectly, the beautiful conceit which Overtop had just uttered, and +remarked that it would be a capital subject for a poem. + +Mr. Chickson turned his eyes upward to the ceiling, and then downward to +the floor, as if he were committing what he had heard to memory, and +then said it was very curious, but he had thought of the same theme +before, and was intending to write a poem on it next week. + +"Now, that's just like you, you provoking creature!" said Mrs. Slapman, +tapping the poet playfully with her fan. "It's really selfish of you to +keep all your poetical thoughts for your poems." + +Mr. Chickson smiled pleasantly, but said nothing; and when Mrs. +Slapman's attention was momentarily attracted by a passing remark from +another person, the poet improved the opportunity to slip away and take +another glass of champagne in the corner. + +"Ah! gone, is he?" said Mrs. Slapman, remarking his disappearance. +"Though one of the most promising of our young poets, he is dull enough +in conversation. It may be said of him, as of Goldsmith, 'He writes like +an angel, but talks like poor Poll.' You may have read his poem, 'Echoes +of the Empyrean,' published in the _Weekly Lotus_." + +Mr. Overtop was wicked enough to say that he had read and admired it. + +"It is a curious fact in the history of the poem, that the subtle +thoughts which it evolves were the topic of discussion at one of my +_conversazioni_; and on that very night Chickson told me he had +forty-five lines written on the subject. The knowledge of that trifling +circumstance lends additional interest to the poem." + +"That is, if anything could lend additional interest to it," observed +Overtop. + +"You are right," said Mrs. Slapman. "TRUTH, like that which animates +every line of the 'Empyrean,' needs no factitious attractions. You have +read the 'Empyrean?'"--turning to Wilkeson and Maltboy, who had stood +hard by during this conversation, calm patterns of politeness. + +Mr. Wilkeson, not understanding the question (his thoughts wandering +back to the pale mechanic and his child), nodded "Yes," and was +immediately put down on Mrs. Slapman's mental tablet as a quiet +gentleman of good taste. But Matthew Maltboy, distinctly understanding +it, was candid enough to say "No," and from that moment was as nothing +in the eyes of the lady. + +Overtop proceeded to deepen the favorable impression which he had made +upon this charming patroness of intellect. + +"Did it ever occur to you how many subjects for the highest order of +poetry lie unnoticed all about us? Take that chandelier, for example, +the prismatic drops of which are dull in the shade, but sparkle with +all the colors of the rainbow in the gaslight. Might not those hidden +splendors be compared to that genius whose brilliancy is alone evoked by +Beauty's radiant smile?" + +Marcus Wilkeson squirmed, and Matthew Maltboy felt uneasy, while their +friend was delivering this elaborate idea, and felt easier when he +reached the end in safety. Mr. Overtop himself shared in the sensation +of relief. + +"Beautiful! beautiful!" cried Mrs. Slapman, in a species of rapture. "I +must repeat that delicious thought to Chickson. But not now." And she +looked inquiringly at Overtop, as if in expectation that he would utter +another new TRUTH immediately. That gentleman not happening to have one +on his tongue's end, Mrs. Slapman was kind enough to give him time for +reflection. + + + +CHAPTER X. + +INFIRMITIES OF GENIUS. + +"Allow me to point out some of my friends, Mr. Overtop. Among them are +faces which you may have seen. If not, you will at least recognize +several of the names." + +"But I must protest that I am monopolizing too much of your time, +madam," interposed Overtop, conscious that his neglected friends were +looking on awkwardly, and waiting for him. + +"And I protest against your protesting," said Mrs. Slapman, with a merry +laugh. So saying, she motioned him to one of the front windows, and, +under the shade of heavy blue and gold curtains, commenced to point out +notable guests. + +Mr. Overtop observed, first with regret and then with pride, that their +withdrawal into a corner elicited looks of surprise and curiosity, not +unmingled with envy, from the little group that hovered about the +refreshment table, and drank Mrs. Slapman's fine wines, and laughed and +joked together. He was glad to see that his two friends sauntered +through the parlors, examining the pictures and articles of taste which +caught the eye on every side; and that Mr. Quigg was engrossed in the +examination of some books on a centre table, opening them, and smoothing +their fair pages with his hand as if they were ledgers. + +"You see that stout man with the double chin--the one drinking +champagne, to the left of the table? That is Mr. Scrymser, a gentleman +who has made several aeronautic excursions, and talked about a balloon +voyage to Europe last year. You may remember his portrait, and plans of +his air ship, in the illustrated papers." + +"I do," said Overtop; "and also that he didn't go." "Precisely. Some +trouble about the currents, I believe. You note that small man, with the +sharp face--the one sipping a glass, to the right of the table? That is +Mr. Boskirk, inventor of the _'Submarine Summer House,'_ a species of +diving bell, which is to be owned and managed by a Joint-Stock Company. +I have promised to take a few shares in the concern." + +"Excuse the digression, madam," said Overtop, "but ought not these two +gentlemen to change places in life? Is not the heavy one peculiarly +adapted to the diving bell, and the light one to the balloon?" + +Mrs. Slapman smiled, and looked faintly surprised, as if the remark were +unworthy of her guest. "Probably you know that gentleman under the +picture of a landscape, talking very earnestly to another gentleman, who +seems to want to be getting away." + +"The man with the long, curly, red hair? I know his face well, and, +though I have no further knowledge of him, am morally certain that he is +a social reformer." + +"Why?" asked Mrs. Slapman. + +"Because I never saw a man with long, curly, red hair, who was not a +social reformer. Men with red hair--the true carrot tint, I mean--have a +natural propensity for reform. Some of them repress it, but others give +rein to their inclinations, go into the reform business, and hang out +their curls as a sign to all mankind. And all mankind interpret it as +readily as they do the striped pole in front of a barber's shop." + +"A striking thought, truly, and full of TRUTH," said Mrs. Slapman. "I +will mention it to Mr. Gormit. On reflection, however, I won't. I might +wound his feelings, for he is an exquisitely sensitive creature. As you +have ingeniously discovered, he _is_ a social reformer. At present he is +only known to the public as the editor of the 'Humanitarian Harbinger;' +but his select circle of friends are well aware that he is devoting his +ripened genius to the production of a work called the 'Progressional +Principia,' which will be in four volumes, and exhaust the whole subject +of social science. This immense undertaking is a favorite subject of his +ordinary conversation. He is probably, at this very moment, giving a +general outline of the book to that gentleman on his right. + +"That slender young man with the Vandyke beard, cutting into a cake, you +may not need to be told, is Patching, the painter of those delicious +interiors which have been seen every year by those who had eyes to find +them, in obscure corners at the rooms of the National Academy of Design. +In short, Patching is the subject of a conspiracy in which the Hanging +Committee is implicated. But though professional envy may place his +works in the worst possible light, and for some time cast a shadow over +his prospects, an independent public taste will ultimately appreciate +his genius. Mark the melancholy that overspreads his features, as he +tastes that glass of sherry. Next to TRUTH, melancholy is the chief +characteristic of his style. In a miniature portrait which he painted of +me, last year, and which is regarded as a capital likeness, he +introduced a shade of sadness, which is, at least, not habitual +with me." + +Mr. Overtop hastened to say, that of _that_ fact he needed no assurance. + +"Without giving a minute account of all my guests, I may say generally, +that they include novelists, dramatists, actors, and musicians. Some +you may know by sight. The acquaintance of all you may make at a +future time." + +At this strong hint, Mr. Overtop replied, that he should be only too +happy. He had by this time come to the conclusion that there never was a +more candid and delightful widow than Mrs. Slapman; and, furthermore, +that she was that rarity--a sensible woman--of which he had been so long +in search. Mr. Overtop mentally hugged himself. + +"By the way, sir--you will pardon the impertinence of the question--but +to what profession do you belong?" + +"I am a lawyer, madam," said he, fearful that the announcement would not +be well received. "Fayette Overtop, firm of Overtop & Maltboy." + +Mrs. Slapman mused a moment, and said: + +"It is a little singular, that, among my large collection--I mean +circle--of friends, there shouldn't be a single lawyer." + +"As I am a _single_ lawyer, Mrs. Slapman, it is within my power to +supply that deficiency among those who are honored with your +friendship." Mr. Overtop thought, with some reason, as he finished this +remark, that he had never said a better thing in his life. + +Mrs. Slapman's severe taste rejected Overtop's pun, but not himself, and +she was about to say that she should put him on the list for her next +_conversazione_, when another awkward interruption occurred, in +this wise: + +Signor Mancussi was a gentleman with an Italian name and a perfect +knowledge of English, who sang bass parts in a church up town, and +enjoyed the reputation of having personated the chief Druid in Norma, at +an early period of the New York opera. M. Bartin played one of numerous +violins at the Academy of Music, and was believed to be kept down only +by a powerful combination. Three months before this New Year's day, both +of these gentlemen had volunteered their services, in company with many +other musical people, to give a grand concert in aid of a benevolent +enterprise. To M. Bartin, as a man supposed to know something of sharp +management, from his connection with the opera, was intrusted the +supreme control of the whole affair. It is due to M. Bartin to say, that +he tried to perform his laborious duties faithfully and with perfect +justice to his associates. + +When, therefore, in ordering the printing of the gigantic posters which +heralded the concert, he directed his own name to be placed at the head +of the "eminent artists who had offered their services for the +occasion," and in type half as large again as any of the rest, he only +expressed a conscientious opinion of his superiority over all of them. +In this opinion his associates happened to disagree with him, each one +claiming that himself, and nobody else, was entitled to typographical +precedence. + +Most keenly was the alleged injustice felt by Signer Mancussi, who stood +at the foot of the sloping list in letters less than an inch long; and +he had made a solemn vow to revenge himself on M. Bartin the first time +that they met after the concert. Their simultaneous appearance at Mrs. +Slapman's was that time. M. Bartin had been privately informed of the +Signer's intentions, and regretted that that gentleman's ridiculous +vanity should get the better of his judgment. Seeing him at Mrs. +Slapman's, M. Bartin avoided the Signer's presence, fearing they might +come into a collision disgraceful to the time and the place. The Signer, +for the same considerate reasons, kept shy of M. Bartin. After dodging +each other for a long time, they were at last brought, by accident, face +to face. M. Bartin was calm. Signor Mancussi tried to be tranquil, but +those small, lean black letters at the foot of the list rose vividly to +his mind; and, before he could check himself, he had whispered, or +hissed, between his set teeth, the word, + +"SCOUNDREL!" + +M. Bartin was taken unawares, but had sufficient presence of mind to +reply, "You're another," in a whisper, low, but freighted with meaning. + +Whereupon the Signor responded, also under his breath, "You're no +gentleman." To this assertion, M. Bartin answered, with masterly irony, +"And you _are_ a gentleman, now, a'n't you?" + +Up to this point the controversy had been pleasantly conducted in +whispers, and was unnoticed by the bystanders; but M. Bartin's last +insinuation had the strange effect of maddening the Signor still more. +He lost his self-control, and said, in an audible voice: + +"You're only a scraper of catgut, anyhow." + +M. Bartin, also oblivious of the proprieties, retorted, louder still: + +"And what are you but an infernal screech owl?" + +Cries of "Hallo!" "What's the row?" "Hush!" and "For shame!" rose from +all parts of the room, and the two musical gentlemen, conscious that +they had grossly misconducted themselves, stepped back a yard from each +other, and were immediately surrounded by several friends, and kindly +told that they were a pair of fools. + +Mrs. Slapman and Overtop rushed to the spot. The latter measured the two +combatants with his eye, to see if he could safely undertake to pitch +both, or either of them, out of the room, if requested so to do by the +widow, and concluded that he could not. + +Mrs. Slapman was much embarrassed by this painful outbreak. It was only +three weeks ago that M. Bartin had dedicated a new quadrille to her; and +but a fortnight since Signor Mancussi had sung four operatic airs +gratuitously at one of her musical and dramatic _soirees_. But respect +for herself and for her guests--especially for Mr. Overtop, of whose +talents she had formed an exalted opinion--pointed out her path of duty, +and she followed it. She stepped between the two disputants, and cast a +look of surprise and regret at each. + +"I was hasty," said Signor Mancussi. + +"And I was too impulsive," said M. Bartin. + +"Then, gentlemen, if you would merit my continued friendship, please +make up your little difference, by shaking hands." + +They recoiled from the proposition a moment, but, being pushed together +by their respective friends from behind, took each other's right hand, +shook it once feebly, and said distinctly, with their eyes, "We shall +meet again!" + +"Very well done," said Mrs. Slapman, with the air of an empress, +tempered by a charming smile. "And let us hope that is the end of it. +Now, Mr. Overtop, allow me to offer you some refreshment." + +Mrs. Slapman was in the act of handing a glass of champagne to the +favored Overtop, when an unearthly shriek was heard, which startled the +steadiest nerves. This shriek was repeated three times in quick +succession, and seemed to come from the sidewalk in front of the house. +There was a general rush to the window; but Wilkeson, Overtop, Maltboy, +and Quigg ran for the street at once, surmising the source of the cry. + +There stood Captain Tonkins, in the sleigh, leaning against the +dashboard, holding in one hand an empty jug, and in the other his whip. +Around the sleigh were a dozen men and boys, who had been convoked by +the cry of "FELL' CITIZENS!" More men and more boys were seen coming in +the distance. + +As the four lessees of the sleigh approached him, the Captain again +yelled, "FELL' CITIZENS!" + +"For heaven's sake, stop, Captain!" cried Quigg. + +A smile of contempt played upon the Captain's large lips, as, shaking +his whip defiantly at the agitated group, he shouted: + +"I--I know ye. Don' think I doknowye. You're Mulcahy men, ev' moth's +sonofye; and you've come to this 'ere meet'n' to put down free-ee-dom of +speech. But yer carndoit. 'Peat it, yer ca-arn-doit. I d'fy ye. I +d'fy ye." + +The Captain was a powerful man; and Quigg, as well as his companions, +singly and collectively, shrank from trying physical persuasion on him. +Besides, a crowd of people had gathered, who were greatly enjoying the +scene, and desiring its continuance for an indefinite period. + +"FELL' CITIZENS!" continued the Captain, "now these vile tools o' +Mulca-a-hy silenced, warntellye I'm can'date School 'Spector in this +ward. Fuss place, I'm only reg'l can'date. Secun' place, I feel great +int'st mor'l wants of all your chi-i-ld'n, Masay they are my own +child'n, Go'bless'em. Third place, my dear FELL' CIT'Z'NS, if yer'll +jess step in ter Phil Rooney's 'fore ye vote, yer'll find some whi-i-sky +there; and that--that's bess arg'ment, after all." + +Having reached the logical end of the first and last speech ever made in +public by Captain Tonkins, the Captain tumbled out of his sleigh, and +sprawled upon the snow; whereat the bystanders shouted for joy, and the +widow Slapman and two large windows full of guests shook with laughter. + +"'S pla-at-form fall'n'?" asked the Captain. + +"Yes," replied one of the citizens, humoring the idea; "the platform +gave way, and you tumbled to the ground." + +"I--I'no' who di't," resumed the Captain. "Them Mulca'men. They saw-awed +posts." Here the Captain descried two widow Slapmans smiling on him from +a window, and gallantly kissed his hand at them. + +His heavy body was tumbled into the rear of the sleigh, a buffalo robe +thrown over it, and Captain Tonkins was then unconsciously borne toward +the bosom of his family, in Minetta lane (a friend officiating as +driver), amid the cheers of his late audience. + +The three bachelors were satiated with their day's experiences. They +raised their hats to Mrs. Slapman, still laughing at the window, and +walked smartly home. Mr. Quigg, deriving much comfort from the thought +that Captain Tonkins had not been paid for his sleigh, and would not be, +hastened to a neighboring stable, hired the only remaining team, and +continued his round of calls, giving one minute to each. + + + +BOOK SECOND. + +POLISHING. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE ENIGMA. + +Marcus Wilkeson's new acquaintance throve rapidly. Mr. Minford's +dealings with the world had made him shy and suspicious, and he was at +first disposed to keep his benevolent visitor at a safe business +distance. But the heart of the thoughtful mechanic could not long resist +the kind and earnest sympathy of the man who sought to be his friend. + +With a caution born of experience, however, Mr. Minford, before +admitting the new guest to his full confidence, called upon a number of +Wall street brokers and South street merchants, to whom Marcus had +referred him, and learned from them that that gentleman bore a +reputation of the rarest honor and purity of character. While giving +this united testimony, however, they all agreed in condemning Mr. +Wilkeson's eccentricity--insanity, one broker called it--in retiring +from business at the very moment when he was most successful, and had a +great fortune within easy reach. The fact that he had retired with one +hundred and fifty thousand dollars, instead of mitigating his offence in +the eyes of those critics, increased it. "Why," said a noted bear, "with +that amount of capital, and Wilkeson's first-rate talents--when he chose +to use them--he might have become the king of Wall street. It's a pity +so smart a fellow should make a wreck of himself." And the bear heaved a +sigh of commiseration; which was by no means echoed by Mr. Minford, who +gathered, from all this evidence, an increased esteem for his +benefactor. + +From the time when he first crossed the threshold of the house on his +mission of mercy, Pet had looked upon him with the deepest reverence. +She had read, in story books, of mysterious gentlemen who went about +doing good merely for the pleasure of it, and who always reached the +scene of distress with fairy-like certainty, when everybody and +everything would have gone to ruin without them. Such a strange, +supernatural embodiment of goodness seemed Marcus Wilkeson to her +childish fancy. When he entered the room--and he was an every-day caller +now--she looked around with great anxiety to see that all the chairs +were in their proper places; that there was no dirt or dust visible +anywhere; that everything was in a state of order and cleanliness worthy +so exalted a guest. + +She would run to take his overcoat and hat and cane, and place them as +carefully in the clothes press as if they had been the robe, crown, and +sceptre of a king. Then she would sit in her little chair, and take her +sewing, or knitting, or embroidery, and pretend to be all absorbed in +it, while she was listening eagerly to every word that Marcus addressed +to her father, and occasionally looked up at the face of their guest, +and thought how noble it was, and how proud she should be to call +him uncle. + +When he spoke to her, as he often did, and asked her about her work, or +her companions, or her studies (upon the latter subject he had grown +quite curious, of late), she would feel that she was blushing, and +answer, with downcast eyes, and be half glad and half sorry when he +ceased to question her, and would then sit and torment herself by +recalling what she had said, and thinking how much it might have +been improved. + +A sharp-eyed observer, had such been present, accustomed to studying +the human face and weighing motives, would have been puzzled to guess +the exact nature of the feelings which Marcus entertained for the +pretty, innocent young creature who sat there, always plying her little +fingers at some useful work. The puzzle would have been a still greater +one for Mr. Wilkeson himself. He felt a profound interest in Pet; and +she it was, and not the pale mechanic or his novel machine, that led him +daily up those three flights of rickety stairs to that humble room. He +said to himself, and he would have said to anybody who was entitled to +call upon him for an explanation, that he had always loved children, and +that the beauty and goodness of this child had deeply interested him. If +there was any other motive at the bottom of his heart, he studiously +concealed it from himself, as he would have concealed it from all +the world. + +During these visits, Mr. Minford pursued his work without interruption. +The screens, which were at first jealously closed, were now thrown open, +and the inventor sat there in full sight of his visitor, laboring at his +great mechanical problem. Repeatedly he had begged of Marcus the +privilege of explaining to him the principles of the machine; but that +gentleman had always resolutely declined, for the reasons before stated. +And he had always observed that, a few moments after such refusal, the +face of the inventor would brighten up, as if with joy that he had not +parted with his secret even to one who held a fifth interest in it. + +Of the wonderful results which the machine was sure to accomplish, Mr. +Minford was never tired of talking, nor Mr. Wilkeson of hearing, +although, at these times, his eyes followed the flying motions of Pet's +fingers, as if they were a part of the wonder of which the inventor +discoursed so glowingly. + +Precisely what the machine was to effect, when completed, Marcus +Wilkeson would never have known, if he had been the most attentive of +listeners. Mr. Minford spoke in vague, general terms, that afforded no +clue to the mystery. He talked of old philosophers and mechanicians, who +had failed to discover an unnamed secret of Nature, because they had no +faith in its existence. Complete faith in the existence of the thing to +be discovered, as well as in the ability of the searcher to find it, he +regarded as indispensable conditions of an inventor's success. + +The fact that the natural law which he was trying to demonstrate had +been pronounced an impossibility by professors of science, should weigh +as nothing in the mind of any man who remembered how every great +invention of the age had in turn been stamped "impossible" by those +dogmatizers in their academical chairs, their books, and their reviews. +Latterly (Mr. Minford confessed), the scientific theorists had been more +tolerant toward other people's inventions (they never invent anything +themselves); but with regard to the one upon which he was now engaged, +they had, with complete unanimity, decided that the thing could not be +done, and charitably called every man an idiot or a lunatic who +attempted to do it. + +"The world has at last fallen into this belief," Mr. Minford would say, +bitterly, "and the few people with whom I am acquainted would all agree +in echoing these scientific opinions, if they knew what I am working at. +But no one shall know--excepting you, Mr. Wilkeson, to whom I should be +most happy to explain everything, if you would only let me. This +prejudice is too deep rooted to be readily pulled up. Even when my +invention is perfected, and has entered upon its boundless career of +usefulness, I know that it will be called a humbug; that people will +look at it, and see it in operation, and still say it is a lie. Yet the +time will come when the professors of science will feel proud to +expound, by formulas, the very invention which they have shown, by +formulas, to be an absolute contradiction of all the laws of Nature. As +for the rabble who make up the world (the inventor's lips curled as he +said this), they will be glad to atone for the mad hue-and-cry with +which they will follow me at first, by giving me, at last, limitless +wealth and immortal fame." + +Mr. Minford's eyes flashed; and Marcus Wilkeson, looking up at them from +Pet's volant fingers, saw in their sudden glare what he took to be the +evidence of genius; but what, in an ordinary man, he would have called a +decided symptom of insanity. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +A DELICATE PROPOSITION. + +One afternoon--when Mr. Minford was in excellent humor, having made a +great discovery in the course of his experiments the previous +night--Marcus thought it a good opportunity to propose something that +had been on his mind for a week past. + +"Mr. Minford," he said, "will you excuse me for meddling a little in +your household affairs?" + +"Not if you offer me any more kindness," returned the inventor, smiling +gratefully at his guest. "I am too much in your debt already." + +"But you forget that I hold an interest in your invention, which you +would make me take. I consider that more than payment in full." + +"So you have confidence in my success?" + +"You have begun to inspire me with it, I confess," replied Marcus, +indulging in a little unavoidable flattery. "But--but it was not to +_you_ that I was about to offer any kindness," he continued, emphasizing +the personal pronoun, and looking hard at Pet, who bent patiently over +her work, and began to blush in anticipation that her name would be +mentioned, Mr. Minford raised his eyes from a ratchet which he was +finishing in a vice, and glanced with curiosity at the speaker. + +"Do you not think, sir, that your daughter might profitably spare a few +hours every day toward the completion of her education? You have told +me that her studies were interrupted by a change in your circumstances, +some years ago." + +"Certainly she might," answered the inventor, "and I thank you for the +suggestion. This machine has so completely engaged my thoughts, that I +had quite lost sight of the dear girl's education. I should say, +however, that I have been expecting at any moment to put the finishing +touch on my invention, the very first profits of which I shall spend in +employing a dozen teachers, if need be, for my little Pet. She shall be +an educated lady, if money can make her so. Sha'n't you, Pet?" + +The young girl's fingers twinkled faster at her work. "I hope so, +father," said she. + +"But, Mr. Minford, it is possible--barely possible, you know--that your +invention may not be completed, nor money be realized from it, for many +months; perhaps one or two years. Suppose--only suppose, of course--your +triumph to be postponed for even one year; your daughter will then be +one year older, and less fitted to acquire the accomplishments which you +desire her to possess, than she now is. Pardon the suggestion, if it is +an obtrusive one. I plead the sincere interest which I take in you and +her as my only excuse." + +"No apology is needed, my dear sir," replied the inventor "I know and +appreciate your thoughtful kindness toward us; and I consider your +advice most excellent, especially as I intend to travel in Europe, and +take out patents for my invention there. It would be desirable to have +my Pet learn French, and also to improve her knowledge of music. You +understand the English branches pretty well, I believe, my dear. Let me +see--how long is it since you left school?" + +"Three years, pa." + +"True! true!" said the inventor, sadly. "It was when our troubles first +began, and I found it necessary to economize. But I did very wrong to +take you from school at that time." + +"You forget, pa," replied his daughter, in a sweet, chiding voice. "You +wanted me to go on with my studies, but I said that you must save the +tuition money, and let me learn to keep house. Don't you remember, pa?" + +"Yes, child; I remember. And I was selfish enough to allow you to make +the sacrifice. But you shall have schooling to your heart's content now, +whether you will or not. I agree with our dear friend, that no time +should be lost in resuming your education. I shall insist upon setting +apart two hundred dollars for that purpose. Enough money will still be +left to perfect my invention; and that, too, within a month, +notwithstanding" (he added, playfully) "Mr. Wilkeson's discouraging +remarks a moment ago." + +"And I shall insist upon not taking the money, pa," said Pet, laughing, +but shaking her head, and patting her feet on the floor in the most +decisive manner. + +"And I shall insist on furnishing the money," said Marcus Wilkeson, +folding his arms, and looking very much in earnest. "Let us see who can +be obstinate the longest." + +"Then _I_ shall insist on your taking another fifth interest in the +invention. Upon that point I am immovable." Mr. Minford folded his arms +likewise, to imply that nothing could shake his granitic determination. + +"Ah, now I see some prospect of a friendly arrangement. I will pay five +hundred dollars for another fifth, and esteem it a good bargain, +provided your daughter consents to let one half of it be spent on her +education. What do you say to that, Pet?" + +"That I thank you very much for your kind offer," said the young girl, +whose eyes sparkled with gratitude; "but I must not accept it. Pa will +need all the money he can get to finish his work. I know it." + +Marcus and the father exchanged pleasant looks, and the former said, +with an ill-assumed sternness: + +"Then I don't advance another cent to him. I have named my conditions, +and they must be accepted. You have no idea, Pet, what a tremendously +obstinate fellow I am when I'm roused." + +Nobody could have gathered the idea from his intensely amiable face at +that moment. + +"I see, my dear, that we must yield to this determined man," said Mr. +Minford, winking at Marcus. "We shall never have any peace with him +until we do." + +"You know best, pa," returned his daughter, who shrank timidly from any +further discussion with their guest. + +Marcus Wilkeson was delighted with the perfect confidence which father +and child reposed in him. "Now that this little matter is happily +settled," said he, "I must tell you that I have already taken the +liberty of selecting a school for her." + +"How can we ever repay your goodness?" said Mr. Minford. + +"It is situated only two blocks away," pursued Marcus. + +"Capital!" cried Mr. Minford; "for then she will never be far from +home." + +"And if you want me at any time, pa, you can send for me, and I can be +here in a moment," said Pet. "It will be so delightful!" + +"It is a private school, and, if your daughter prefers, she can be +taught separately from the other pupils. Miss Pillbody, the teacher, +tells me that she can give her an hour and a half in the morning, before +ten o'clock, and half an hour in the afternoon, after four o'clock." + +"That will suit me exactly, pa," cried Pet, clapping her hands with +glee; "because then I can get your breakfast, dinner, and supper, and do +all the housework, without any interruption in my studies." + +"Miss Pillbody thought the arrangement would suit you. She is a +perfectly competent teacher of French, Italian, the English branches, +music, drawing, the dead languages, and higher mathematics--quite a +prodigy, I assure you, for a lady not yet twenty-two years old." (Marcus +was addressing the father.) "I have been particular in my inquiries, and +all who know her speak in the highest terms of her remarkable +attainments, her ability to teach others, and her goodness of heart. +Your daughter will like her, without doubt." + +"I know I shall," said Pet, with enthusiasm. "There are so many things +that I will learn, pa. First, music--" + +"She has a fine piano, and plays splendidly," remarked the guest. "I +heard her." + +"And French and Italian, to please you, pa--that is, if I can learn +them--and everything else that the lady will teach me. I shall be so +happy, sir." + +The father and the guest smiled at the zeal with which this young +beginner proposed to grapple with the difficulties of human knowledge. +It was fortunate for her that a long series of hard and injudicious +teachers had not already sickened her of learning, and that she brought +a fresh and uncorrupted taste to the work. + +Pet was thinking which one of her two dresses (equally faded) she should +wear to school, and what bit of ribbon or trimming she could introduce +in her old bonnet, to improve its general effect. Marcus Wilkeson was +marvelling at the confidence which the inventor and his daughter placed +in him, and at what there was about him to inspire it. Mr. Minford was +congratulating himself on having met with a man so generous and sincere +as this Mr. Wilkeson, and so entirely disinterested, too: "For," +reasoned the inventor, "he cannot appreciate, as I do, the enormous +value of my discovery, and does not dream that his portion of it will +compensate him for his outlay more than a hundred times over." + +The silence was broken by a sound as of heavy boots trying to move +softly on the stairs, and a subsequent modest rap at the door. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +AN AUXILIARY OF MODERN CIVILIZATION. + +The boy Bog rapped, and entered. He was more neatly dressed than when +Marcus saw him on the occasion of his first visit. His patched and +threadbare coat was replaced by a neat roundabout jacket; his greasy, +visorless cap, by a flat felt hat, of which the brim was symmetrically +turned up; his tattered shoes by great cowhide boots. The boy was of +that age when the human frame grows with vegetable-like rapidity; and he +seemed to hare increased a little all around within three weeks. + +The boy looked distressingly awkward in his new articles of attire. Had +he stolen them, he could not have appeared more guilty in presence of +the rightful owner. + +"Why, Bog!" said Mr. Minford, reproachfully; "where have you been these +three weeks? Not called to see us once!" + +The boy's confusion increased at this unexpected salutation, and he hung +down his head at the threshold of the door. Mr. Minford partly reassured +his bashful visitor, by springing forward, shaking him heartily by the +hand, and saying, with earnestness, "My good lad, I am always glad to +see you." Pet was also by his side in an instant, and warmly shaking the +other hand. "You look real nice, Bog," said she. Mr. Wilkeson also came +forward, and said, "Don't you remember me, Bog?" and clasped him by the +right hand when the inventor had relinquished It. + +Bog bowed and scraped and blushed, and murmured "Thank you, very well," +several times, confusedly, and at last settled down into a chair which +was pushed under him by Pet. Having crossed his legs, he began to feel a +little more at ease. + +"You've been very busy of late, haven't you, Bog?" asked Pet, charitably +anticipating an excuse for the boy's long absence. + +"You'd better believe it," replied Bog, not looking at her, but studying +the pattern of his left boot. "The day after I called here last, Mr. +Fink he got a job to stick up bills for a new hair dye, all the way from +here to Dunkirk, on the Erie Railroad. Well, he couldn't go, cos he had +lots o' city posting, ye see; so he hires me to do it for ten dollars a +week and expenses. The pay was good, he said, because the work was +extry hard. The bills was to be posted on new whitewashed fences, new +houses, and places generally where there was signs up telling people not +to 'post no bills.'" + +"That was a singular direction, Bog," said Mr. Minford. + +"So I told Mr. Fink," replied the boy; "but he said as how them were the +hair-dye man's orders. He said the idea was to make folks look at bills +who wouldn't notice 'em if they was on a place all covered over with +adv'tisements. They was to be posted up high and strong, so that the +owner of the property couldn't tear 'em down easy. Mr. Fink thought the +idea was a good one; but he owned it was a little risky." + +"Perhaps that is why he didn't care to do it himself," suggested Marcus +Wilkeson. + +"Mebbe," said Bog; "but I didn't consider it no objection. I told him I +was goin' to be a bill poster, and wanted to study every branch o' the +business." At this point Bog hitched his chair nervously, uncrossed and +recrossed his legs, as if he were conscious of trespassing on the +patience of his auditors, and then went on: "Well, I hurried home, and +saw that aunt didn't want for nothin', and then I started on my travels. +I should ha' called and seen you, Mr. Minford," he added, casting a side +glance at the inventor, "but I hadn't time." + +"No excuse necessary, my good Bog," returned Mr. Minford, kindly. +"Business before pleasure, you know. But I am anxious to hear how you +got along with the job." + +"Well, pooty hard," said Bog, emphatically, "though I made out to go all +through the State, and stick up six thousand bills, every one on 'em on +a new house, shop, or fence. Lemme see--I was chased seven times by big +dogs that was set on me, shot at three times" + +"Why, poor Bog!" interrupted Pet; "you wern't hurt, I hope?" + +"No, Miss Minford; I wasn't hurt," answered Bog, looking her in the face +for the first time since he entered the house, "though I got one through +my old cap." + +"I'm _so_ glad it was no worse, Bog." + +These words of sympathy from the young girl flustered the poor boy for a +minute. Then he rallied: + +"Besides that, I was took up four times by the perlice, and was carried +afore justices of the peace. When they asked what I had to say why I +shouldn't be fined, I told 'em the whole truth about it, and they all +laughed except one, and said it was really funny, and they hadn't no +doubt the hair dye was a very good thing to take, but could tell better +after they had tried some. I told 'em that the hair-dye man would send +'em a dozen bottles apiece. Mr. Fink had d'rected me to say this, if I +was 'rested and brought afore a justice. The justices--that is, all of +'em but one--then said they didn't want to be hard on me; and as that +was my first offence, they would let me go without any fine. And they +did, after givin' me their names, and tellin' me to be sure to have the +bottles sent on jest as soon as could be. Ye see, they were all as bald +on the top o' their heads as punkins. But the fourth justice that I was +took to, he wasn't bald, but had a crop o' hair like a picter; and when +I offered to put down his name for a dozen bottles, he swore, and fined +me five dollars for what he said was a insult to the dignity of justice, +and five dollars for postin' up bills in places where it was agin the +law. Mr. Fink had give me money from the hair-dye man to pay fines, as +well as my board; so I didn't care. But--but I am talking too much." + +Bog paused, because, on taking a stealthy observation around him, he +suddenly become conscious that his three auditors were listening +attentively to his story. + +"Not at all, my dear Bog," said Mr. Minford. "I, for one, am curious to +know how this ingenious plan of advertising, in defiance of the law, +succeeded." Mr. Wilkeson expressed himself curious on the same point. +Bog, thus encouraged, continued: + +"When I come home, after havin' stuck up six thousand bills in the +principal towns and villages along the route, I went right to Mr. Fink. +He shook hands with me, and ses he, 'Bog, your fortun's made.' 'How's +that?' said I. 'Why, ses he, 'you're the greatest bill poster I ever +heerd of. Professor Macfuddle" (that was the hair-dye man) "ses the +money has begun to pour in to him like sixty, and he is buyin' up all +the hair dye in the market, and puttin' his labils on it to supply the +demand. He has given me ten dollars to present to you, besides the +thirty for your wages.' Mr. Fink then give me forty dollars, and ses he, +'That a'n't all; for I have so much business now, I want a pardner, and +I'll take you, and give you one third of the earnin's.' I rather guess I +snapped at the offer; and we is goin' into pardnership to-morrer." + +"Success to you," said Marcus and the inventor together. They saw, in +this illustration of his bill-posting talents, only an evidence of +business shrewdness that deserved encouragement. The young girl, +however, viewed it in the light of a violation of law, and therefore +could not conscientiously approve of it. Bog noticed her silence, and +guessed the cause. + +"Thank you very much," said he; "but I forgot to say I a'n't goin' to do +any more business on the Erie plan. It a'n't right. Come to think it +over, I was sorry I done it; and so I told Mr. Fink; and he sed it +wasn't exackly reg'lar either, and he shouldn't never ask me to do +it agen." + +"I am glad of that," said Pet, quietly. + +Bog's eyes were instantly turned toward her with an expression of pride +and gratitude. + +"Oh! of course, it is always best to obey the laws," observed Mr. +Minford. + +"And I wouldn't for a moment be thought to advise anything else," added +Marcus Wilkeson; "though I never could help admiring pluck and sharpness +in business affairs." + +"I am going to school again, Bog," said the young girl, hastening to +change the subject of conversation. + +Bog looked up, surprised and pleased. + +"Mr. Wilkeson," said Mr. Minford, "has taken another small share in my +invention, and pays me in advance for it. With that, Pet will finish her +education." The inventor would have made this disclosure of his private +affairs to no other human being but Bog; for this simple boy was the +only person he had ever known (excepting Marcus Wilkeson) who had not +openly ridiculed his mysterious labors. + +"I am very glad to hear of it, sir," said Bog, awkwardly, but with an +air of profound respect. "How--how is the _ma_sheen, sir?" Bog asked the +question hurriedly, as if the machine were a sick person, whose health +he had until then forgotten to inquire after. + +"Getting on finely, Bog. Only two or three springs, a cog here, a +ratchet here, a band at this point, and a lever up there (Mr. Minford +touched portions of the machine rapidly), and then look out for +a noise!" + +"A noise!" repeated Bog, with juvenile earnestness. + +"Not an explosion, my good fellow, but tremendous public +excitement--plenty of fame, mixed with a good deal of abuse at first, +and a _little_ money, I hope." The inventor's eyes flashed with the fire +that Bog had often seen; and when he emphasized the word "little," Bog +knew that he meant to express the boundlessness of the wealth that his +labors would bring to him. + +"I believe it," said Bog, with sincerity pictured in every lineament of +his honest face. "I've always believed it." + +"So you have, my dear Bog; and your faith has often cheered me," replied +the inventor, patronizingly. "By the way, how's your aunt?" + +"Oh, yes; how _is_ your aunt, Bog?" asked Pet. "I had quite forgotten +her." + +"She's pooty well, ony them rheumatics troubles her some. They're +workin' their way from her left arm into her head, aunt says. Week afore +last they was in her feet, and they've ben clear round her and goin' +back agen since then. Queer things, them rheumatics!" + +"They are very painful, Bog, you know," said Pet. + +"Yes; so aunt says." Bog did not add, as he might have truly done, "A +thousand times a day." + +"Give her my kind regards, Bog, and say I will call and see her," +continued Pet. + +"My respectful regards also," added Mr. Minford. + +"Thank you," said the boy; "but I guess you better not call, Miss +Minford. Aunt's a good woman, but kind o' cur'us, you know. Them +rheumatics has made a great change in her." Bog here referred, but made +no verbal allusion, to a certain friendly call which Pet had once made +upon his aunt, on which occasion that elderly lady had entertained her +visitor with a monologue two hours long, giving her a complete history +of the malady, from its birth in the right great toe, three years +previous, through all its eccentric phenomena, to that stage of the +disease which made it, as the venerable sufferer observed with, some +pride, the "very wust case the doctors ever heerd of." + +Upon this fruitful theme, Bog's aunt could and would have discoursed for +hours longer, but for the appearance of Bog, when she sought a new +relief from her agonies by abusing that poor fellow, charging him with +neglect and ingratitude, finding fault with the food which he brought +home for her from market, and asking him when he was going to buy that +soft armchair he had promised her so long. Bog laughed, and explained +this outburst, by saying to Pet, "It's only aunt's rheumatics;" but the +old lady rejected the explanation, and went on scolding and faultfinding +with such increased fierceness, that Pet hastily put on her bonnet and +shawl, and bade the rheumatic grumbler "good-by," saying (which was +true) that her father would be anxious about her. Since then, the young +girl had kept away from Bog's aunt. + +"I've bought her a nice, soft armchair lately," continued Bog; "but it +don't do her no good. The rheumatics seem to be getting wusser all the +time; and the thing that makes them wussest of all is calls. So I guess +it's better for aunt you should keep away, Miss Minford." Bog prided +himself on his tact in putting forth the last argument. + +Then the conversation turned on Pet's education; Marcus and her father +fondly discussing what it ought to be, and Bog listening, and looking +stealthily at the young girl, still busy at her work; and they all sat, +happy in thoughts of the future, far into the twilight. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +MISS PILLBODY. + +Miss Pillbody's school was unknown to the pages of the City Directory. +It was never advertised in the newspapers, with a long list of "Hons." +and bank presidents as unimpeachable references. The bright little plate +on her door exhibited only "Pillbody," in neat script, and no hint of +the existence of a school within. The school was select to such an +extent, that not more than a dozen pupils were admitted to its +privileges; and so private, that, outside of that number, its name was +not known except among its graduates; and there were reasons why they +should hesitate to spread its reputation abroad. If strictly classified +among the institutions of the city, it might be termed, "A school for +female adults in good circumstances, whose early education had been +neglected." + +The idea of this school originated with Miss Pillbody; and, like many +other valuable ideas, it was hit upon quite accidentally. + +Dorcas Pillbody was the only daughter of a man who had amassed a fortune +in the oyster business, and had finally retired to a four-story house in +Sixteenth street, near the Sixth Avenue, where he purposed to spend the +balance of his days in the dignified enjoyment of his hard-earned money. +To this secluded oyster dealer, as solitary and happy in the midst of +his new grandeur as a bivalve in its native bed, came a plausible +stockbroker, who, after a series of interviews, persuaded Mr. Pillbody +to make a small investment in the "Sky Blue Ridge Pure Vein Copper +Mining Company." + +The small investment unfortunately turned out well. In less than sixty +days, the shares that he had bought at ten per cent, sold at +seventy-five, and ultimately advanced to par. Delighted with this +unexpected result, Mr. Pillbody determined to stake largely (he had been +a wholesale oyster dealer, and was a man of comprehensive ideas). Again +his venture prospered. Mr. Pillbody, intoxicated with success, invested +his entire means in the purchase of two new mines in a Southern State, +whose unparalleled richness was certified to by mineralogists of great +reputation. + +Just as Mr. Pillbody was making arrangements to bring these mines before +the public, his stockbroking friend, through whom he had effected the +purchase, left for Europe, and it was then discovered that Mr. +Pillbody's mines, if they existed at all, were ten feet under a swamp, +on property which belonged to somebody else, the title deeds of which +had been forged by the adroit operator. Mr. Pillbody could not endure +his misfortune. He wrote notes bidding farewell to his wife and child, +and commending them to the care of their relatives, to whom he had +always been bountifully generous. Then he went to Staten Island by +ferry, there took a row boat, proceeded to a celebrated oyster bed which +was the scene of his youthful labors, and drowned himself. + +The widow and daughter (the latter twenty years of age, healthy, and +finely educated) applied to the two brothers of the deceased for +assistance, and were at once kindly received into their families, and +sat upon sofas and ate from tables purchased with money (never repaid) +of the late Mr. Pillbody. The two brothers, upon application to the +proper tribunal, were appointed executors of the estate, and were not +long in discovering that it was insolvent. Mother and daughter were +shifted about with almost monthly regularity from one house to the +other; and, though they tried to make themselves useful in every +capacity except that of a servant, they could not disguise the +conviction that their departure was an event a great deal more welcome +than their coming. The widow's talent for dressmaking (she had been a +milliner's apprentice before marriage), though of a high order, and +exerted to the utmost, failed to please. Miss Pillbody's thorough +knowledge of French, and the higher branches of an elegant education, as +well as her proficiency on the piano, and her sweet, simple style of +ballad singing, were worse than useless acquirements in her +uncles' families. + +Her uncles were cold, stern, ignorant men, who had an intense hatred for +the mere accomplishments of life. Each had two daughters, who, with the +natural tastes of the sex, were not averse to the graces of education, +in the abstract, but could not bear to see them displayed by their +"stuck-up, pauper cousin," as they often termed that hapless young lady +in private conversation. A kind offer, which she was imprudent enough, +to make, to teach them all she knew, had set them against her from +the first. + +The widow endured the cold looks and cutting words of her husband's +relatives, and even the reproaches which they heaped upon his folly, +with a widow's patience, and seemed content to remain a poor, +broken-down, dependent creature. Miss Pillbody, on the contrary, was +quick to discern and to resent, mentally, the uncivil treatment daily +experienced by her mother and herself. Had she been alone in the world, +she would have left those inhospitable roofs when the unkind hints first +began to be dropped, and trusted to the cold charity of strangers; but +she could not bear the thought of being separated from her mother. So +she endured her wretched state of dependence as best she could, while +she quietly sought for some means of employment that would yield them +a living. + +Profiting by the lessons she had learned from her uncles, she did not +apply to any person who had known her father and received favors from +him in their better days. She asked no favor from any one--only work, at +a fair price. By diligent hunting, she found several opportunities. She +could earn four dollars a week by embroidering (at which she was +skilful, and had taken premiums); or two dollars and a half for +teaching French, twice a week, in a country seminary; or her board and +washing for inducting a family of four little musical prodigies into all +the mysteries of the piano. But these tempting offers would still have +left her mother with her uncles, and she spurned them all. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +A FRIEND IN NEED. + +One day, as Miss Pillbody was riding up Broadway, in tending to visit a +Teachers' Agency for the sixteenth time, she accidentally made the +acquaintance of a middle-aged lady, who talked a great deal upon the +slightest provocation, trifled sadly with grammar and pronunciation, and +was excessively friendly and amiable. The diamonds in her ears and on +her fingers, and her overdone and gaudy style of dressing, were some +indication, though not a convincing one, that she was a woman of wealth; +and Miss Pillbody made bold to ask her if she knew anybody who wanted a +private teacher in her family. + +The lady said she did not, "unless," she added, laughing very loud at +the humor of the suggestion, "you come into my family, and learn me +something." + +The remark was unpremeditated, but, the moment it was made, the lady +seemed to be greatly struck with its force, and immediately followed it +up with the question, "Do you s'pose you could learn grammar and +pronunciation, and how to talk French, to a grown-up woman like me?" +Miss Pillbody thought the lady with the diamonds was joking, and laughed +by way of reply. "But I am ra-ally in earnest," continued the lady, +thoughtfully, turning three heavy cluster rings on her little left +finger. "Ye see, my early eddication was rather poor, 'cos I was poor +then; but my old man made a spec' in tobacco, last year, and now I'm +pooty well off, and live in good s'ciety. I kinder feel the want of +grammar, French, and a few o' them things. I like your face and your +manners, and if you can learn me 'em, I'll give you ten dollars a week +to come to my house one hour every day, and be my private +schoolmistress. It'll be rather hard, I s'pose, to learn an old dog new +tricks; but there is no harm a-tryin'." + +Notwithstanding the oddity of the proposition, Miss Pillbody saw by the +lady's face that she meant what she said. "I think I understand English +grammar, and French, and the other branches usually taught at +academies," she replied, "and should be very happy to accept +your offer." + +"Then consider the bargain closed," returned the lady. "Here is my +'dress" (handing her a card), "and you may come to-morrer mornin', at +ten o'clock, if that'll suit you. I have no children, and the old man +will be out at that time, and we shall be as snug as two bugs in a +rug, ye see." + +Miss Pillbody was delighted with the sudden prospect of an honest living +thus opened to her, and she only feared that she would not be able to do +enough for her money. So, after she had again thanked the lady for her +kindness, she said: + +"I think I could give you lessons on the piano, madam--unless you +understand that instrument better than I do." + +"Lor' bless me, child!" responded the lady, holding up her thick, red +hands, and making the diamonds flash in the sunlight; "Lor' bless me! +them fingers is too stiff to play the pianner now. I've got a splendid +pianner, though, with an oleon 'tachment, three pedals, and pearl +keys--cost eight hundred dollar; and a nice piece of furniture it is, +you may believe. I let it be out of tune all the time. That's an excuse +for not playing when anybody asks me to, ye know. I don't mind tellin' +you this, because you'll be sure to find it out." And the lady laughed +very loudly at the confession of this small deceit, which Miss Pillbody +assured her was by no means confined to herself, but had been adopted by +her ingenious sex from time immemorial. + +When the middle-aged pupil and her young teacher separated, as they did +on the arrival of the stage at an up-town jeweller's, where the former +got out to make a few purchases, Miss Pillbody felt as if she had known +her patroness for years, and that, in that coarse, showy, good-hearted +woman, she had found a true friend. + +And so it turned out. However dull Mrs. Crull might be as a scholar, she +was quick-witted as a friend, and was constantly bestowing unexpected +kindnesses upon Miss Pillbody. Scarcely a day passed that the young +teacher did not receive from her pupil some little present--at times +rising to the value of a bonnet or a shawl. Mrs. Crull's all-embracing +kindness would have extended to the widow Pillbody too (in whom she was +much interested from the daughter's accounts of her), but for the shrewd +objection which she entertained against intrusting any one with the +secret of her pupilage. Miss Pillbody was often and particularly +enjoined by her not to tell any one--- not even her mother--of it; and +she saw the advantages of carefully observing the request. Great pains +were taken to keep Mr. Crull, and the housemaid, cook, and coachman, +from a knowledge of the mystery. + +On Miss Pillbody's arrival daily at ten A.M., she was ushered into the +drawing room, where Mrs. Crull was always anxiously awaiting her. The +servant was told to say to callers that "Mistress is out" (Mrs. Crull +bolted at this trifling deception at first, but soon got used to it), +and the lesson began. + +Mrs. Crull at first thought she was competent to learn her native tongue +and French together, in a series of half-hour lessons; but she soon +found out that the latter language had some eccentric peculiarities +quite beyond her powers of articulation, and that the spelling of a word +did not afford the slightest clue to the method of pronouncing it. After +floundering about heroically but hopelessly through the introductory +chapter of the first French grammar, she gave up the polite tongue in +despair, consoling herself with the reflection, that speaking bad French +was worse than speaking no French at all. + +Miss Pillbody, who did not venture to advise her pupil on her choice of +studies, but left her to consult her own fancies undisturbed, heartily +approved of Mrs. Crull's conclusion, though she acknowledged that New +York society by no means took that view of the case, but tolerated bad +French with a courtesy worthy of France itself. + +Mrs. Crull's studies were thereafter confined to English spelling, +grammar, and writing. She declared that she knew enough of arithmetic to +count change correctly, and wanted to know no more; and that geography +was of no earthly use to her. Besides, she never could remember the +names of places. + +It was in pronunciation that Miss Pillbody's system achieved the +greatest good. Anxious to strengthen herself on that weak point, Mrs. +Crull set a watch on her language, and gave every word a good look +before she sent it forth. The effect of this constant introspection was +most happy; but, at times, Mrs. Crull would be thrown off her guard by a +rush of ideas, and all the old blunders would come out. Toward other +persons, she became, to some extent, a free teacher, and would, in the +most obliging manner, rectify their little errors of pronunciation, when +she was sure of them, and sometimes when she was not. + +Of course, Mr. Crull was taken in training by her. That gentleman, +having made the discovery, early in life, that the less a man says, the +more he is supposed to know, had acquired a habit of taciturnity which +had become a second nature to him. His conversation consisted mainly of +grunts and nods; and it was astonishing how much he could express by +them. At any rate, they had "made his fortin', and he couldn't ha' done +more'n that if he'd talked like a house a-fire"--which explanation, +often repeated, was about the longest one ever known to be uttered by +Mr. Crull. Therefore Mr. Crull did not offer a large field for the +exhibition of his wife's new acquirements; but, by drawing him into +conversation, and then lying in wait for him, she found opportunities to +exhibit them for his good. + +At first, Mr. Crull only stared and grunted. Then he laughed (his laugh +and Mrs. Crull's laugh were very similar, and were their strongest bond +of union). Once he said, "Wonder what's the matter with the ole woman?" +And, on a subsequent occasion, when Mrs. Crull had convicted him of +three mistakes in five words, he ventured upon this protracted remark: +"Guess the ole gal feels rather big since she got inter wot they call +good s'ciety, eh?" This was in allusion to the recent successful +speculation in tobacco, which had enabled Mr. Crull to buy the best +house in Twenty-third street, and take the second best pew in a +fashionable church, thereby placing Mrs. Crull at once within the +charmed circle of society. + +As for himself, Mr. Crull took very little interest in society, having +observed that society had taken very little interest in him until that +"lucky turn in terbacker." Mrs. Crull would smile, and confess that +society had claims upon people, and that, when one is in Rome, one must +do as the Romans do. The moral of which proverb was, that Mr. Crull +ought to improve his speech. Mr. Crull replied, by asking "wot +difference 'twould make a hunderd years from now?" Which observation, +when Mr. Crull condescended to speak at such length, was a favorite +argument with him. But he little suspected his wife's secret. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +BRANCHING OUT. + +To Miss Pillbody, this quiet little arrangement proved a fortune indeed. +In two weeks after she became acquainted with her benefactress, she was +rich enough to take lodgings for her mother and herself at a decent +boarding house. The old lady entertained singular notions about the +rights of relationship, and held that it was the duty of her husband's +brothers to give them a home for the balance of their lives, and +regarded her daughter's desire to cut loose from her uncles, and be +independent, as a romantic and absurd notion, born of novel reading, to +which Miss Pillbody was a good deal addicted. + +To gratify her daughter's whim, the widow Pillbody finally consented to +move into a boarding house, though she did it in the firm belief that +the good luck which the young lady had fallen upon would be of brief +duration, and they would be glad to come back to their relatives +again--their "natteral protectors," as Mrs. P. called them. + +In their new residence, Miss Pillbody was happy. The money which she +earned weekly, and which was always paid to her in advance, was +sufficient for her own and her mother's board. In addition to other +presents, Mrs. Crull had forced small sums upon her acceptance, at +different times; and Miss Pillbody began to enjoy the odd sensation of +laying up money in a savings bank. Of the future she thought but little; +first, because she had no head for plans; and second, because Mrs. Crull +had promised to set her up in a private school; and Miss Pillbody placed +a blind trust in that lady. An accident, in this wise, caused the +fulfilment of the promise much sooner than was expected. + +Mr. Crull, in getting out of a stage, one day, slipped on the step, and +dislocated his left shoulder. At his age, careful treatment was +necessary for an injury of that kind; and the family doctor peremptorily +forbade him to leave the house for a month. Mr. Crull therefore stayed +at home, growling like a bear in a cage, and solacing himself with the +determination to bring a suit for damages against the stage company, the +carelessness of whose driver (in Mr. Crull's opinion) caused +the accident. + +Mr. Crull, like a good husband, would have nobody to nurse him, apply +his embrocations, and put on his bandages, but his wife; and Mrs. Crull, +like a good wife, cheerfully and tenderly performed that duty. But this +rendered necessary the abandonment of the daily lessons at her house; +for she was liable to be summoned to her husband's bedside at any moment +(he sent for her at every new twinge of pain); and, furthermore, it was +his custom to crawl out of his couch every half hour, and wander +restlessly through the house, until his wife, under the stern +instructions of the family doctor, sent him back to bed again. + +Mrs. Crull, though not wanting in love for her disabled consort, was +loth to abandon her lessons. Having tasted of the Pierian spring, she +desired to drink deeply. + +As Miss Pillbody could not continue her course of instruction at Mrs. +Crull's residence, without being detected in the act by the invalid lord +of that mansion; and as it was clearly impracticable for Mrs. Crull to +go to Miss Pillbody's boarding house, and turn the widow Pillbody out of +the little room which mother and daughter jointly occupied, the generous +pupil hit upon the idea of renting the ground floor of a house for her +teacher, setting apart one room as a schoolroom, fitting it up for her +in comfortable style, and helping her to get wealthy adult pupils enough +to pay all the expenses of the establishment, and a handsome +income besides. + +Miss Pillbody thankfully accepted the noble offer; though she feared +that she would never obtain scholars enough to repay the money which +Mrs. Crull was willing to advance, and also to defray the current +expenses of housekeeping. + +Mrs. Crull entertained no such fears. She had great faith in the +efficacy of advertising. She had personally known three quacks who made +half a million apiece out of patent medicines; and one woman who had +turned a common recipe for removing superfluous hair into an eligible +establishment in Thirty-second street, and a country cottage, with +sixteen acres under good cultivation. She believed that newspaper +advertising was the shortest and surest road to fortune; and the only +standing cause of quarrel between her and her husband was the latter's +incredulous "Pooh! pooh!" at her theory upon this subject. + +At her request, Miss Pillbody drew up this advertisement, and caused it +to be inserted twice in three daily papers: + +"To LADIES IN GOOD SOCIETY WHO DESIRE TO IMPROVE THEIR EDUCATION.--A +young lady who has moved in wealthy and fashionable circles, and has +received the best education that New York city could afford, having met +with reverses in fortune, would be happy to accept, as private pupils, a +few ladies whose early cultivation was, for any reason, neglected. +French, Italian, Spanish, vocal music, the piano, and all the English +rudiments, taught at reasonable prices. Particular attention paid to +pronunciation, spelling, and writing. Satisfactory references given +and required. + +"N.B.--Pupils taught separately, and at different hours. + +"For further information, address 'Educatrix, New York Post Office.'" + + * * * * * + +There were many points in this advertisement to which Miss Pillbody's +modesty took exception; but Mrs. Crull insisted upon them in a way that +permitted no refusal. The little bit of bragging was the principal +thing, she said. She had always observed that people are inclined to +believe bragging advertisements, though they openly profess that they +can't be taken in by them. As for the satisfactory references, she would +undertake to give them, if they were required--which, of course, they +would not be, as the mere offering of them invariably sufficed. If +called upon, she would say that she knew a wealthy lady, the head of a +family, who had derived the greatest possible benefit from the +instructions of "Educatrix." If asked who she was, she could answer, +that "Educatrix" would on no account allow the name to be made known, as +it was a great merit of her system that she kept the names of her pupils +a profound secret from each other, and from the rest of the world. The +good sense of this regulation would at once be appreciated by all mature +ladies who wished to repair the defects of their early education. Her +own position as the mistress of an elegant mansion in Twenty-third +street, would (Mrs. Crull reasoned) entitle her statement to +ready belief. + +The plan worked capitally. "Educatrix" received fifty answers to her +advertisement, and was busy more than a week calling at the houses of +those who desired an interview with her. The ladies were all in good +circumstances, and, without an exception, were the wives of men who had +made sudden fortunes, after the manner common in the United States. +Finding themselves elevated above the necessity of cooking their own +dinners and washing their own clothes, they keenly felt the want, +hitherto unknown, of an education which would fit them, in a measure, +for that society whose portals were now thrown wide open to them. Miss +Pillbody's gentle manners and polished ways gained for her the +confidence of all; and she could have had fifty pupils daily, at two +dollars a lesson (the fixed price), of one hour each, if it had been +possible to teach that number. + +Acting on the advice of Mrs. Crull, Miss Pillbody decided to accept only +twelve pupils, for twenty-four lessons each, and devote six hours daily +to them. This arrangement would give her six pupils a day; and the +twelve would complete their course in about two months. Then she could +take twelve more, and so on. It was plain, from the success of the first +experiment, that there would never be a scarcity of pupils. + +Mrs. Crull then rented the first floor and basement of a suitable house +in a quiet neighborhood, furnished it nicely, hired a grand piano for +the front parlor, and turned over the premises and their contents to her +young teacher. Miss Pillbody brought her mother to their new home, a +fair share of which had been set apart and fitted up expressly for her. + +The old lady admitted, with some reluctance, that the house was not +badly furnished, and that her daughter's prospects might be worse than +they were. But who was this mysterious woman, that took such an interest +in her daughter? What was her motive? she would like to know. And why +was she so anxious to avoid her (Mrs. Pillbody)? To which questions her +daughter responded, as she had done fifty times before, that her +teaching was strictly private, and that none of her pupils would visit +her, except under a pledge of the profoundest secrecy. Mrs. Pillbody +shook her head doubtingly, and said, "We shall see," adding that she +only hoped they would be as comfortable there as they were at Uncle +John's and Daniel's, that was all. + +The school throve. The pupils came with great punctuality at their +different hours, and were unknown to each other and to the world. The +secret of the school would never have got abroad, but for the incaution +of a certain Mrs. Brigback (wife of a man who had been connected with +the City Government for two years on a nominal salary, and retired +rich). She was so delighted at the progress which she made in the +English rudiments, and in the French (being able to ask for bread, or +fish, or concerning a person's health, in that language), that she could +not refrain from confidentially advising another lady (the wife of a +street contractor, suddenly opulent) to take a few lessons from the same +accomplished teacher. The street contractor's wife was perfectly +indifferent to society, and had no wish to remedy the defects of her +early education. She promised secrecy, and the next day told the story, +at the expense of her friend, to a mutual female acquaintance, who +passed it on with embellishments to a third, who amused a fourth with +its narration; and so it went through a succession of confidential +people, until, one day, it became the subject of conversation in a stage +in which Marcus Wilkeson was riding. He could not avoid hearing it; and, +although the two ladies (themselves shockingly astray in their grammar) +laughed at the absurdity of the thing, Marcus Wilkeson thought it was a +capital idea. A plan which he had been idly revolving in his mind for +the education of Miss Minford, began to take shape. The inventor (he +reasoned) would not be likely to object to a strictly private school for +his daughter, if the teacher were a lady of correct principles, and +highly educated. + +Upon the last point, Marcus Wilkeson determined to satisfy himself. So +he addressed a note, through the General Post Office, to "Miss Pillbody, +New York City," requesting the privilege of an interview on business, at +the residence of the lady, the exact location of which she was asked to +designate. + +The letter was advertised (Miss Pillbody's address being unknown to the +carrier), and, about two weeks after it was written, an answer came back +to Mr. Wilkeson, at his house, giving information as to the whereabouts +of the lady, and appointing the time for an interview. + +Mr. Wilkeson called, and in five minutes' conversation was satisfied of +Miss Pillbody's moral and intellectual qualifications as teacher, and +thought himself very fortunate in securing a vacancy among the pupils +(caused by sudden illness) for Miss Minford. With what perfect +confidence the suspicious inventor, as well as his simple-hearted +daughter, accepted the frank offer of their friend and benefactor, we +have already seen. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +THE LITTLE PUPIL. + +It was a pleasant winter's morning, when Mr. Minford and his daughter, +and their singular friend, made a formal call on Miss Pillbody, by +appointment. The inventor had overcome a difficulty in his machine, by +introducing a cam movement, and was in excellent humor. As he walked +along the streets, he said that the snow and the sky and his future all +looked bright to him now. Of the two former objects his assertion was +obviously true, and Pet enjoyed the shining scene, as youth, health, and +innocence always do, without reference to the future. + +A few minutes' walk brought them to Miss Pillbody's private schoolhouse. +A pull at the bell summoned a stout, red-faced servant girl to the door. +To the question, if Miss Pillbody was in, she said, "Yaas, sir, ef yer +plaze" (Miss P. had vainly endeavored to correct her English), and +ushered her visitors into the reception parlor, or schoolroom. + +A pleasant place it was, and nicely warmed with a smouldering coal +fire, the coziness and comfort of which, were fitly reflected from the +red carpet, and red curtains, and red plush covered furniture. The grand +piano, hired for use, gave the room that completely furnished appearance +that nothing but a piano can give. A book of instruction, open at a +passage which strongly resembled a rail fence through a rolling country, +showed that inexperienced hands had recently been pounding the +instrument. There was no sign of a school or any side, excepting a small +blackboard, which had been hastily thrust into a corner, and which bore, +faintly traced in chalk, a sum in simple division. + +The visitors sat down in the warm red chairs, and looked around the room +but a moment, when Miss Pillbody entered by a door connecting with the +rear parlor. She bowed gracefully to Mr. Wilkeson, and was by him +introduced to his two companions. To the father she was profoundly +respectful, and to the daughter tender and affectionate, grasping her +hand closely, and smiling a welcome upon her. + +Pet was instantly fascinated with her future teacher. There was +something lovable not only in her intelligent face, pale with the +protracted labors of her daily life, but in the infirmity of her eyes, +for she was shortsighted, and could see objects distinctly only by +nearly closing the lids. This peculiarity, not disagreeable in itself, +won upon Pet's compassion, and made her feel more at home in the strange +lady's presence than if she were conscious that a pair of full-sighted +orbs were looking at her, and accurately noting her defects. + +Miss Pillbody's occupation, for some weeks past, had given her a new +idea of the value of time, and she proceeded at once to business, +without wasting a single word upon the weather. In less than five +minutes, she had, by artful inquiries and a winning voice, found out the +exact range and extent of Miss Minford's acquirements, and agreed with +the father that a further education in the English branches was +unnecessary at that time (with the exception, perhaps, of an occasional +exercise in reading), and that his daughter might devote twenty-four +lessons to French and the piano, with hopes of success, provided she +could study and practise several hours a day at her own home. + +Mr. Minford replied, that she could study French at home to her heart's +content, but he had no piano. Whereupon Mr. Wilkeson took the liberty of +suggesting that it might be possible to borrow one, at a moderate rate, +by the month, and set it up in their front room. Miss Pillbody applauded +this idea, and it was instantly agreed to. + +"For certain reasons, which I will not now mention," said Mr. Minford, +"I am anxious to hurry up her education." + +"By the way, what is your first name, my dear?" asked Miss Pillbody. "It +is quite awkward to call you Miss Minford, you know." + +The inventor answered for his daughter. "Her name is Patty, miss; and we +call her Pet, for short, instead of Pat, which would be hardly +appropriate." + +"A pretty name," said Miss Pillbody; "and she _is_ a pet, if I mistake +not." The teacher looked archly at Mr. Minford, and then affectionately +at the daughter, through her half-shut eyes. "I promise you she shall be +a pet here, provided, always, she learns her lessons like a good girl. +We always insist on that first." The teacher waved her hand with +magisterial authority as she spoke, but accompanied the act with a +laugh, which made Pet laugh also. + +During this conversation, Mr. Minford had dwelt upon his machine in an +undercurrent of thought; and an idea just then occurred to him, which he +was desirous to test immediately. He therefore rose, and said that they +would not detain Miss Pillbody any longer, and that his daughter would +call and receive the first lesson at any time which that lady +would name. + +"Her hour will be from nine to ten o'clock every other morning, and from +three to four on alternate afternoons," said Miss Pillbody. "It is now +half past ten," she added, consulting a watch. "Mrs. Penfeather, my +eleven-o'clock pupil, is put of town to-day: so Miss Minford--that is. +Pet--can commence now, and I will give her until twelve o'clock. This +will save time." + +"Good!" remarked the inventor. "The great point is to save time. For +certain reasons, as I said before, you have none to lose in educating my +daughter. And, that we may not detain her a moment, Mr. Wilkeson, we +will leave, if you please." + +Marcus Wilkeson was glad to do this, for the conversation had already +reached its natural terminus. He therefore followed Mr. Minford's +motion, and grasped his hat and cane. + +"You are not afraid to stay here, child?" said-the inventor. + +"Oh, no," replied Pet, with a happy laugh. "I already feel quite at +home." + +"And she shall always feel so here, I assure you, sir," added Miss +Pillbody. + +Mr. Minford's new idea occurred to him again with fresh force, and he +hurriedly said: "Good-by, Pet. Be a good girl, now, and see how much you +can learn in your first lesson." Then he kissed her, jerked a bow at +Miss Pillbody, and made his exit into the hall. Marcus Wilkeson added +his best wishes for the progress of the little scholar, bade her and her +teacher a pleasant farewell, and followed Mr. Minford. + +The child ran after them to the front door, and exchanged good-bys with +them until they had turned the corner of the next street, when she +entered the schoolroom, and straightway began her first lesson in the +accomplishments of life. + + + +BOOK THIRD. + +THE TRAIL OF THE SERPENT. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +"ONE--TWO--THBEE--FOUR." + +Pet studied hard, and made great progress. Her father and Marcus +Wilkeson watched her developing education with equal pride, and +constantly applauded and encouraged her. + +The inventor did not know one word of French beyond the colloquial +phrases with which everybody is familiar; but he would ask his daughter +to read the crisp and tinkling tongue to him for hours at a time. He +would hammer softly and file gently as she read, so that he might not +lose a word of it. He would hear no news but that which she translated +from the triweekly French paper published in the city. With correct and +careful tuition at Miss Pillbody's, these constant exercises at home, +ambition, and an excellent memory for languages, Pet was soon able not +only to satisfy her teacher, but to make herself understood, in a small +way, by a real French woman, Mdlle. Duchette, the forewoman of a candy +store on the nearest business avenue. + +Pet followed every lesson on the piano at Miss Pillbody's by three hours +of daily practice at home. Marcus had hired for her a small piano, +warranted to be just the thing for beginners. In other words, the keys +and pedals were nearly worn out, and could not be much further damaged +by unpractised hands and feet. This instrument was squeezed in between +the bureau and the washstand, filling up the last spare place in the +crowded little room. Pet wanted to have it set up in the next apartment, +and practise there in the cold, alone; but neither her father nor Marcus +would listen to that proposition for a moment. + +Mr. Minford's nerves were extremely sensitive to sound. They vibrated to +it, like Aeolian harp in the wind. He placed pianos, cats, fish +peddlers, and hand organs on precisely the same footing, as nuisances. +Nothing but the ruling desire to make a lady of his child, could have +steeled him to the endurance, hour after hour, of her monotonous +"One--two--three--four," and the discordant banging which accompanied +those plaintive utterances. + +The permanent discords with which the piano was afflicted, or the +striking of a false note, would sometimes set his teeth on edge; but he +would only hold his jaws tightly together, beat time with his head, and +smile a hypocritical approval. Sometimes he would torture himself +playfully, and make Pet laugh, by running a musical opposition with his +three-cornered file--a small but effective instrument. + +Marcus Wilkeson was equally tolerant of Pet's practice, and there was +little false pretence in the patience with which he listened. Happily, +he was not all alive to sounds. Screeches and harmonies were pretty much +the same to him. Since he was a boy, he had been trying (privately) to +sing, or whistle, "Auld Lang Syne," and had not yet mastered the first +bar of it. He watched Pet's little fingers moving up and down the piano +with mechanical repetition, and was truly interested in the sight--for +two reasons: first, the motion was graceful; and second, she was +acquiring an accomplishment which he held in the highest esteem, because +Nature had put it entirely beyond his reach. + +Sometimes, but not often, Bog was a listener at these rudimental +concerts. Since Marcus had come to the relief of the family, Bog felt +that his mission was ended. He knew that it was a piece of pure +hypocrisy to call once or twice a week to see if he could be of any +service, when he was aware that Mr. Minford had hired a woman, who lived +on the floor below, to do all their household work, marketing, cooking, +and general errands. He knew that Pet, on these occasions, asked him to +go for a spool of thread, or a paper of needles, or a package of candy, +merely to gratify him with the idea that he was making himself useful. +When he came into the room tidily dressed, and highly polished as to his +boots, he blushed even redder than he used to. It was not the +acquisition of a little money by Mr. Minford that had exalted his +daughter in the-eyes of Bog, but the French and the music. These two +accomplishments seemed to lift her into an upper air of delicacy and +refinement, for which Bog felt that his miserable education and clumsy +manners quite unfitted him. After Bog had performed some little invented +errand for her, she would reward him with a short exercise, and Bog +would sit, with open mouth and crossed legs, staring at Pet's face and +hands alternately, and beating time with his large red hands on +his knees. + +Bog knew the negro songs of the period, and admired them. He would have +liked to hear Pet play them, but feared she would think his musical +taste very bad if he asked her to. Her "exercises," as she called them, +he considered something perfectly wonderful, and belonging to a class of +scientific music which a poor fellow like him could not be expected to +enjoy. But, like many an older and more worldly-wise person, he +pretended to be thrown into raptures by it, and, at every pause in the +playing, would say, "Beautiful! a'n't it?" "That's prime!" or +"Splendid!" or "The best I ever heerd." Sometimes, at his earnest +entreaty, Pet would read a page of French to him; and he would listen +with awe and reverence, as to a beautiful sibyl prophesying in an +unknown tongue. + +Bog always paid these visits in the afternoon. Marcus Wilkeson always +called in the evening. The two had met in the house rarely since New +Year's. When they accidentally met on the sidewalk, within a square or +two of the house, as they sometimes did, Bog colored up as if he were +guilty of something. Once Marcus Wilkeson saw Bog at a distance, turning +suddenly down a side street, as if to avoid him; and Marcus wondered +what could be the matter with the boy. By industry and tact, Bog made +money in his new partnership, and had already laid up a snug sum in the +savings bank. + +Between Pet and her teacher a feeling of sisterly affection had sprung +up. Miss Pillbody turned with a feeling of relief from her dull elderly +pupils, stiff in manners, and firmly set in their habits, to this fresh, +impressible young creature. What she did conscientiously to the others +for pay, she would have done to Pet for love, had not her bills been +settled in advance. Whenever Miss Pillbody had a spare hour or two, +afforded by the indisposition of one of her older scholars (from +excessive fatigue occasioned by a dinner party or other laborious +hospitality the night before), she would send the red-headed servant to +Mr. Minford's, and notify Pet, who was only too happy to go to her +beloved teacher, and take an extra lesson. + +Mrs. Crull could not be called a promising pupil. Her intentions were +excellent. Her patience and her good nature were unbounded. She was +always punctual at her lessons. Neither cold nor storm could keep her +away. While she was in the schoolroom, she would resolutely deny herself +the pleasure of indulging in more than a dozen episodes on the fashions +and bits of scandal which she picked up in her cruise through society. + +With the exception of these little wanderings, she would go through her +recitations with as much correctness and docility as a sharp-witted +child of twelve years. She felt a childlike pride in gaining the +approval of her teacher. When she was under Miss Pillbody's +instructions, and knew that every mistake would be courteously but +firmly corrected on the spot (the teacher's invariable custom), she kept +such a guard upon her tongue that she sometimes read or conversed in +long sentences without making a single error. But when she was out of +Miss Pillbody's sight, there were certain blunders which she fell into +as surely as she opened her mouth. + +Sometimes Mrs. Crull and Pet would meet on the doorsteps of Miss +Pillbody's house--the one going in and the other coming out--or on the +sidewalk in the neighborhood. Mrs. Crull would catch the child by both +hands, smack her heartily on the cheek (no matter how public the kiss), +and then a conversation something like this would follow: + +"How bright and pretty you look this mornin', my darlin!" (Mrs. Crull +could not remember to pick up the "g's," except under Miss Pillbody's +eye, and then not always.) + +"Thank you, Mrs. Crull; I am quite well. How are you, marm?" + +"Oh! smart as a trap. Haven't known not a sick day these ten years." +(Mrs. Crull was weak on the double negatives.) + +"How do you get along?" From motives of delicacy, Pet never added, "in +your studies." + +"Well, I don't mind tellin' you, as you are my confidential little +friend." Here Mrs. Crull would look around cautiously, to be sure no one +was listening. "The other studies isn't so hard, but grammar knocks me." +(Mrs. Crull's nominatives and verbs were irreconcilable.) + +Then Pet would say, telling an innocent fib: + +"I don't observe anything very wrong, Mrs. Crull." + +"Ha! ha! there you are flattering me, you little chick. I know, or +think, I have improved a good deal with our dear Miss Pillbody; but a +smart little scholar like you must see lots of mistakes in me." + +At this point, Pet would blush, and murmur, "No--no!" + +"Humbug!" Mrs. Crull would say. "I know my incurable faults, and I know +that you know 'em. But Lor' bless you, child! there is plenty of ladies +in good s'ciety" (Mrs. C. always slurred on the first syllable of that +word) "who talk as bad as me. Their husbands, just like mine, got rich +suddenly, you see. I tell you, I was 'stonished to find how many of 'em +there was. They are thicker'n blackberries. I found out something else, +too." Here Mrs. Crull would shake her head knowingly, like one who had +discovered a great truth. + +Pet would know what was coming, but would ask: "Pray, what is it, Mrs. +Crull?" + +"Why, I found out that, if you give good dinners and big parties, and +keep a carriage, and have a conservatory, and rent a pew up near the +altar, your little shortcomin's in grammar isn't no objection to you. +'Money makes the mare go.' However, eddication, as Miss Pillbody says, +is a good thing of itself, and I shall keep on tryin' to get it." + +These conversations always ended by an invitation to Pet to visit Mrs. +Crull. "I'll have our carriage call for you," she would say, "at your +father's house. We have no children, you know, and the old man would be +very good to you; though, of course, it wouldn't do to hint about the +school. But I can trust my little friend for that. Come, now, +won't you?" + +But Pet always modestly declined these kind invitations. She knew her +father's pride, and his aversion to the patronage of rich people. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE FALLING BOARD. + +One afternoon, Pet had been taking an extra lesson from Miss Pillbody, +and had started homeward with a light heart, humming to herself a +musical exercise which she had practised for the first time that day. A +few doors from Miss Pillbody's, some workmen were repairing a wooden +awning. The framework was covered with loose boards, which the +carpenters were about to nail down. A feminine dread of danger would +have induced Pet to make a wide detour of this awning; but her mind was +so fully occupied by the musical exercise, that she walked, unheeding, +right under it. + +"Look out! look out!" shrieked a chorus of voices overhead, accompanied +by a rattle of falling boards. Pet sprang forward just in time to escape +one of them, and to catch another on her shoulder. It touched her +gently, not even abrading her skin, for its fall had been stopped midway +by a young man. + +"Stupid!" "Silly creature!" "The girl's a blockhead!" "Where's her eyes, +I wonder?" shouted the carpenters, after the manner of carmen and stage +drivers, when you narrowly escape being run over by _their_ +carelessness, at the crossings. + +"Shut up!" said the young man, savagely. "Why the d---l don't you keep +your boards where they belong, instead of tumbling them down on people's +heads?--I hope you are not hurt, miss?" (in a gentle voice). + +"Oh, no; not at all. I am sure I thank you, sir, very much." Pet +blushed, and hurried away. + +The young man and the carpenters then exchanged the customary abusive +epithets with each other, which might have resulted in something more +serious (though such verbal encounters rarely do), but for the desire of +the young man to overtake the young girl whom he had saved from a +bruised shoulder, or a worse accident. Shaking his fist at the four +jeering carpenters, and muttering a farewell execration between his +teeth, he rapidly followed Pet, and soon came up with her. + +"You are sure you are not hurt?" said he. "Those scoundrelly workmen! +I'll thrash one of them yet." + +Pet was confused by the second appearance of the young man at her side, +though she knew that he would follow her; even her brief experience +having taught her that it is not in the nature of man to do a kindness +to a woman, without exacting a full acknowledgment for it. + +"No, sir; I am not hurt the least bit," she replied, looking in his face +no more than gratitude and civility required. Here she would have +stopped, but she feared (charming simplicity of girlhood) that the +young man would, some future day, get into trouble with the four +carpenters. So she added, timidly: "As for the workmen, sir, they were +not to blame. It was all my fault, running into the danger. I--I beg, +sir, that you won't say another word to them." + +This was a long speech for timid Pet to make to a stranger, and she +blushed fearfully at the end of it, and wished that the young man +would go away. + +"They deserve a thrashing, every one of them," said he; "but, for your +sake, I let them go." The young man spoke in a sweet voice, and his +manner was respectful. Pet had observed, in several hasty side glances, +that he was nicely dressed, and not ill-featured, in all except the +eyes. But had his eyes been large and handsome, instead of small and +forbidding, she would have desired his absence all the same. + +"You say you are not hurt," he continued; "but you may be, without +knowing it. I have heard of people receiving serious injuries, and never +finding them out till they got home. Have you far to go, miss?" + +"Only two blocks farther," said Pet, turning the corner. + +"The very route I was going," observed the young man. + +Although Pet felt that the young man's company was unnecessary and +disagreeable, she did not like to tell him so. She kept silence until +she reached her home, when she said, "I stop here, sir." She would have +added, "Good-by, sir," or "Thank you, sir," or something equivalent, but +instinct checked the expression, and she darted into the entry (the door +being accidentally ajar), and shut the door after her, before the young +man could say a word. Although the door was shut, he raised his hat +respectfully as one often does on Broadway _after_ he has passed a +female acquaintance upon whom he suddenly comes--the salute being +received and acknowledged with a stare by the next lady, or ladies, +following after. The young man then noted the number of the house, +nodded satisfactorily to himself, and strolled very leisurely along the +street, as if neither business nor pleasure had urgent demands upon him. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +SNEAKING JUSTIFIED. + +Neither Pet nor the young man saw the awkward figure of an overgrown +boy, who had followed them at a distance, on the other side of the +street, keeping the trunks of trees between them and him. This clumsy +figure, upon which a suit of good clothes and a new cap looked strangely +out of place, was Bog. + +The boy Bog was often seen lounging about the neighborhood of Miss +Pillbody's school; and if the policeman on that beat had not known him +to be an honest lad from childhood, he would have watched him as a +suspicious character. From whatever part of the city Bog came home after +a bill-posting expedition, he invariably made a circuit past Miss +Pillbody's school, keeping the other side of the street always, and +never looking at the house. He walked hurriedly by, but came to a sudden +stop at a grocery store halfway up the second block beyond, and there he +would stand, partly covered by an awning post, and look strangely +around, letting his eyes fall occasionally, and as if by accident, on +that house. If his object in these singular manoeuvres was to see Miss +Minford, he always failed to improve the opportunity when it offered; +for, as surely as Pet came out from the school, or turned into the +street to go toward it, so surely did the boy Bog walk off whistling in +another direction. Nobody can understand the motives of Bog's conduct, +except those who have done the same thing in their youthful days. + +On this eventful afternoon (eventful as a starting point in a history of +sorrows), Bog had taken his usual circuitous route home from a +profitable professional tour on the east side of town. Reaching the +grocery store, he sheltered himself behind the friendly post, and +commenced looking up and down the street, and across the way, and into +the sky, always winding up his mysterious observations by a single +glance at Miss Pillbody's front door. When Pet came out, after her +musical exercise, the boy Bog flushed up a little, turned upon his +heels, and walked quickly away. He had not gone a dozen steps, before +the shouts of the workmen and the sound of the first falling board +reached his ears. He suddenly turned about, and saw a young man catching +the next board that fell. His first impulse was to run to Pet's +assistance; but a fatal spell chained his feet. + +Poor Bog had dreamed a thousand times, by night and by day, of the +ineffable bliss of rescuing Pet from a mad dog, from a runaway horse, +from the assault of ruffians, from drowning, from a burning building. He +had his plans all laid for doing every one of these things. He would +have coveted the pleasure of whipping three times his weight of any +well-dressed, white-handed young men, who should presume to insult her. +In imagination, he had done it times without number; and had contrived a +private method to double up a number of effeminate antagonists in +succession. But, in all his reveries, he had never anticipated peril to +Miss Minford from a falling board; nor had it occurred to him that the +supreme felicity of saving her from death or injury would ever be the +lot of anybody else. + +The entire novelty of the accident and rescue struck him with amazement, +and fastened him to the spot long enough to see that Pet walked away +apparently unhurt. Hardly knowing what he did, or why he did it, he +shifted his body behind the awning post so as continually to keep +himself out of Pet's sight. Then the strong conviction came upon him +that it was his duty to escort Pet home; for, although she did not seem +to be hurt, she might be. This conviction was met and almost put down by +the thought that Pet would know he had been watching for her; and he +could not bear that. While he was halting and sweating between these two +opinions, the unknown young man had finished his little colloquy with +the four carpenters, and, by walking fast, had caught up with Pet. + +Then the boy Bog decided that his wisest course, under all the +circumstances, would be to follow the couple at a distance, and see that +no harm came to her from the young man. + +"If the feller insults her," murmured Bog, "just because he was lucky +enough to do her a little bit of a kindness, I'll lick him till he's +blue." Besides whipping him for the insults which he might offer, Bog +felt that he could give him a few good blows for his impudence in +assuming Bog's exclusive prerogative of rescuing that particular +young girl. + +Bog looked very sheepish as he sneaked from one street corner to +another, and skulked in shadows to avoid observation, though he tried to +flatter himself that he was doing something highly meritorious. Two or +three times, when the unknown young man inclined his head toward Pet, as +if to speak to her, Bog entertained a hope that she would command him to +leave her, and that he wouldn't. A single gesture from her, an impatient +shrug of the shoulders, a turning away of her head, would have been all +the hint that Bog needed to fly to her relief, and make up for his lost +opportunity by knocking his dandy rival into the gutter. + +But not even Bog's sharp eyes could detect any impudent familiarity in +the young man's conduct, or any desire on the part of Pet to get rid of +him. "Everything is agin' me," said Bog, wiping the perspiration from +his forehead. + +When Bog saw Pet part from the young man at Mr. Minford's door, his +first wild idea was to call on her, quite by accident, in the course of +half an hour. Perhaps she would tell him--as a piece of startling +news--about her narrow escape from the board, and what the young man +said to her. But Bog was unequal to the dissimulation involved in this +plan, and abandoned it. Then he had a notion of following the young man, +and seeing what became of him. But a sudden and very decided rising of +fresh blood to Bog's cheeks and ears told him that he had played the +part of spy long enough. So Bog determined--as many grown-up people in +graver dilemmas do--to go home to supper. + +Bog found his supper all ready for him, and it was a good one. For his +aunt, although the victim of a chronic rheumatism, had contrived to +preserve a sharp appetite from the wreck of her former health, and +cooked three meals for herself and two for Bog (who was never home at +noon) daily. She was singularly punctual, too. Breakfast was always +smoking hot on the table at 6 A.M.; and supper (and dinner combined, for +Bog) was never a minute behind 5 P.M. in the winter time. Bog, who had a +truly boyish idea of feminine excellencies, considered that this knack +of cooking, and this amazing punctuality, were more than an offset for +his aunt's little infirmities of temper, and her everlasting discourse +on the rheumatics. + +Though the beef hash was good, and the toast nicely browned and +buttered, and the tea strong, and the fire burning brightly through the +grates of the stove, and the curtains snugly drawn, and everything +cheerful and comfortable in Bog's humble home, the boy was unhappy, and +could not eat. + +Happily, his aunt was so engrossed with her own physical troubles, that +she never noticed indications of ill health in other people. She held +that every other human ailment was unworthy of mention in the presence +of her sovereign affliction. Whenever anybody presumed to speak of their +little personal sufferings before her, she said: "You should thank +Heaven you haven't got the rheumatics," and would then proceed to give a +circumstantial history of her acquaintance with that disease. Therefore, +on this occasion, she was quite unaware that poor Bog sat opposite to +her with a pale, dejected face, playing aimlessly on his plate with his +knife and fork. She thought only, and talked only, of her malady, which +had been pranking in the oddest manner all day, and had settled, at +last, in her "limbs." Bog's aunt had no legs that she would own to. + +After supper, Bog heaved a sigh, and said that he would go round to +Uncle Ith's; and asked his aunt if she had any word to send by him. + +"Oh, no; nothing partickler," said she. "He don't care about me." + +Uncle Ith, as everybody called him, was Bog's uncle on his mother's +side. Uncle Ith and the aunt had a standing difference touching that +rheumatism. Whenever they met--which was rarely--Uncle Ith would ask +her, with a wink, how she was; and when she candidly told him that she +was in a dreadful state, he would laugh at her, and say that half of it +was "imagination." This indignity he had repeated so often, that, +latterly, she scorned to complain in his presence, and bore her anguish +in noble silence. + +"All right," said Bog, who took no part in these family differences. He +put on his cap, and left the house. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +UP IN THE AIR. + +"Uncle Ith" was one of the city bellringers, and lived at the top of a +tower a hundred feet high, which vibrated with every stroke of the great +bell hanging midway between his airy perch and the ground. He was sixty +years of age, and had white hair, but he was as strong as younger men, +and could swing the clapper against the side of the great bell with a +boom that could be heard across rivers, and far into the peaceful +country, on quiet nights. His eyes were so sharp, that, without the aid +of a glass, he could read names on the paddle boxes of steamboats, where +the unassisted vision of most persons descried nothing but a blur. He +had done duty on that tower during the six years since it was built; and +he knew the section of the city which lay spread out beneath him as a +man knows his own garden. In the daytime, he could always guess, within +a street or two, the location of any fire in his district. He knew all +the smokes from a hundred factories, foundries, distilleries, and never +confounded them with the fires which it was his business to detect. The +presence of a new and suspicious smoke among the black stretch of roofs, +caught his eye instantly; and he could tell in a moment, by its color, +its speed of ascent, and the quantity of sparks accompanying it, whether +it came from a carpenter's shop, a stable, a distillery, a camphene and +oil store, or some other kind of building. In the nighttime, he knew the +lights which mapped out the squares and the streets within his range of +observation, almost as well as the astronomer knows the other lights +that shine down upon the sleeping city from the heavens. He could fix +the position of a fire by night rather better than by day, because he +had the red reflection of the flames on well-known steeples, and high, +prominent roofs to guide him. + +Such were Uncle Ith's qualifications for his place; and he was so loved +and trusted by the firemen of his district, that no mayor, however beset +by applicants for office, had ever dreamed of removing him. In all of +Uncle Ith's limited relations with the world, he was esteemed an honest +man; and his word would have possessed the literal novelty of being as +good as his note, had necessity ever required him to borrow money. But +Uncle Ith was frugal, and made his small salary suffice for himself and +a family of seven motherless children. + +He had one eccentricity--a complete indifference to newspapers. He never +bought nor borrowed them. "What's the use of reading 'em?" he would say. +"Why not imagine the murders, suicides, political meetings, and other +trash that fills 'em, and save your money for terbacker?" This did Uncle +Ith, and he flattered himself that it was wisely done. + +The bell tower was not far from the boy's home, and in a few minutes he +stood at the foot of it, and shouted to Uncle Ith: "Hallo, there!" + +Uncle Ith, always on the alert for calls, poked his head out of the +window, which he left partly open for ventilation in the coldest nights, +and answered, rather gruffly, "Well, what's wanted?" He never allowed +his own children, nor any persons except his nephew Bog, and a few old +firemen, friends of his, to visit him in the tower at night. Uncle Ith +was conscientious. The presence of his children, with whom he loved to +converse, or that of strangers, who would stare vacantly all over the +lighted city, and ask innumerable questions, interfered with the +strictness of his watch. Uncle Ith was a little eccentric, too, in his +devotion to duty. + +"It's me, uncle," said Bog, screaming upward. + +"Glad to see you, Bog. You can come up," shouted the old man in return. +He slung a latch key, fastened to a string, out of the window. It slid +down the side of the tower, into Bog's hand. He unlocked the door, and +the next moment the key was jerked aloft. The boy entered the base of +the tower. He was so familiar with every crook and passage, that the +small light of a gas jet, inside, was not necessary to show him the way. +Up he ran, sometimes clearing two steps at a jump, slipping his hand +lightly along the rough wooden banister. A few spiral turns brought him +to the bell, which hung in an open framework of timber. He gave the huge +bronze a familiar tap as he passed, and wound on and upward until he +came to a trap door, which Uncle Ith held invitingly open. Then he +sprang into the little room at the top of the tower, and Uncle Ith shook +him by the hand. + +"You look well, I see, Bog. And how is your aunt?" Uncle Ith was mindful +of the usages of society, and always asked after her. + +"Oh, she's smart," said Bog, totally oblivious of her rheumatism, "and +sent her love to ye." Bog was a peacemaker. + +"Sent her rheumatism, I guess yer mean. No doubt she wishes I had it." + +Bog laughed, and his uncle laughed. And then his uncle, never forgetting +duty, took a sharp look out of the eight clearly polished windows that +commanded a view of the surrounding district. Discovering no sign of +fire, he resumed the conversation with his nephew, asking him about his +business (which he was happy to learn was prosperous), and giving him a +quantity of good advice which none but a genius could remember, or an +angel follow. During these exhortations, Uncle Ith paced to and fro in +the little room, looking out of some window at the end of every +sentence. Bog sat on a three-legged stool (the only seat except a +backless chair) by the side of a miniature stove, on whose top hissed +the kettle, from which Uncle Ith made his pot of coffee at midnight. + +The night was cold; the little fire was warm; and Bog liked to hear +advice from his uncle; but his eyes would wander to a certain window, as +if, for some reason, he would derive great pleasure in opening and +looking out of it. This movement of his eyes was so frequent, that Uncle +Ith observed it, and said: + +"Ah, I see! You want to stare out of that southeast window again. Now, I +think the sight is handsomer to the west, where you can see the lights +of Jersey City and Hoboken, and on the ferry boats and the shipping +anchored in North River. But that's a matter o' taste. Well, look out o' +the window, if you want to. I guess I can trust you for fires in +that quarter." + +"That you may!" answered Bog, throwing open the southeast window. + +The stars above twinkled crisply in the frosty air; and the sky, with +its low horizon on every side, seemed infinitely vaster than it did to +Bog in the narrow and high-walled streets of the city. But Bog, though +he used to puzzle over the wonders of the heavens when he was a few +years younger, and had picked up a little something of astronomy from +his uncle Ith (who knew something of that as of many other sciences), +did not turn his gaze to them. Nor did he give more than a sweeping +glance at the dotted line of lights below, stretching out in long +perspectives, until the two luminous points at the end seemed blended +into one. There were several parks in sight, which looked like portions +of the sky let down on the earth, in all but the mathematical regularity +of their mock stars. But Bog's eyes passed them by. To an inquisitive +mind, there was something of interest to be seen and speculated over, in +the lighted windows of houses all about him. People could be seen eating +their late suppers, rocking by the fire, playing the piano, dancing, +taking a rubber at whist or euchre, or diverting themselves with other +recreations of winter house life. In one upper chamber, a physician was +presenting a child just born to the proud father. In another, there was +a mysterious spectacle, which a closer examination might have proved to +be the preparing of a dead body for the morrow's burial. But Bog saw +none of these sights. + +His eyes sought for, and found immediately, as if by instinct, one +light, which, in his opinion, was the only one worth looking at on earth +or sky. It was a single bright gas jet, burning very close to a window +about six hundred feet distant from him in an air line. Several tall +chimneys of intervening houses rose almost between him and this light, +and, perhaps, their dark, spectral shapes aided him in identifying it so +readily. The lower sash of the window through which the light shone was +curtained, but the upper part was uncovered; and an observer on the +tower, being fifty or sixty feet above the top of the curtain, could +easily look into the room. Bog rubbed his eyes, into which the cold but +not biting wind had brought the tears, and gazed anxiously into Mr. +Minford's apartment. + +The pale inventor stood a few feet from the window, attentively +examining a mass of machinery before him, upon which the light shone +strongly. Only the tops of the wheels and of the more complex parts were +visible; but there was one lever, or bar, connected with it, which rose +above the whole, and could be seen by Bog to the extent of at least two +feet. This was an addition to the strange machine as Bog had last seen +it, and he contemplated it with fearful interest. + +Mr. Minford stood motionless for five minutes in the presence of his +creation. He was ghostlike and frightful in that fixed attitude, and Bog +wished that he would move. He did so, nodding his head, and smiling, as +he bent down and detached some part of the machine. All but his head and +his right shoulder then disappeared from view; but Bog knew, by the +vibrating motion of his shoulder blade, that he was filing upon +something. Mr. Minford then stooped again, as if to put the part of the +machine back into its proper place. Having done this, he stood erect +once more, folded his arms, and looked intently at the Mystery for the +second time. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +TONGUES OF FIRE. + +But now Bog's attention was diverted from Mr. Minford, and his heart was +made to beat more rapidly by a new sight. While he had kept both eyes +closely fixed upon the inventor, he had looked with an oblique, or +reflected vision, into the other window of the room. This window was +uncurtained, and Bog could distinctly see the chairs, bureau, and other +articles of furniture. A new light (so Bog oddly thought) was suddenly +irradiated through the darker portion of the apartment by the entrance +of Pet from the hall. She had no bonnet on; and Bog reasoned (if he +could be said to reason in his excited state) that she had been spending +a part of the evening, as was often her wont, with a poor family, rich +in children, who lived on the floor below. Her father smiled upon the +problem before him, as a new difficulty melted away under his burning +gaze. Then he turned, and smiled at Pet. She ran toward him, and he +kissed her tenderly. Bog was devouring this little episode with open +mouth and eyes, when the hoarse voice of Uncle Ith broke in upon the +enchantment: + +"Hallo! there's a fire." + +"What! Where?" shouted Bog, forgetting where he was. + +"Why, you blind man!" said Uncle Ith; "straight afore ye. Don't ye see +it breaking out?" + +Bog cast his eyes about him wildly; and, sure enough, directly in the +range of Mr. Minford's house, but four or five blocks beyond, there was +an illuminated streak of smoke curling up from a roof. + +"It's in my district!" cried Uncle Ith. "So here goes." He seized the +long iron lever near him, by which the enormous clapper of the bell was +swung, and moved it like the handle of a pump. The second motion was +followed by a hoarse sound, which shook the tower to its foundations, +and started into listening attitudes a thousand firemen in their engine +or hose houses, in the streets, at the theatres, or at their own homes. + +"Sha'n't I help you?" asked Bog, who always proffered his services on +these occasions. + +"Pooh! no. It's baby play for me." By this time Uncle Ith had evoked the +second gruff note from the deep throat of the imprisoned monster below. +Then came a third in quicker succession, and louder, as if the bell had +warmed up to the work, and then other notes, until the district had been +struck; and then the bell, as if rejoicing in its strength to resist +blows, murmured plaintively for a repetition of them. Long before this +sad sound had died away, the deep bass of the City Hall bell, the shrill +tenor of the Post Office bell, and the intermediate pitches of the bells +all over the city, had taken up the chorus of alarm. There was a rattle +of engines, hose carriages, and hook-and-ladder trucks through the +streets. There was a frantic rush of men and boys, some with cumbrous +fire-caps on their heads, and putting on their coats as they ran. How +they knew the location of the fire, none could guess, for it had not yet +streamed out against the sky; but know it they did; and the dove goes to +its cote not more directly than they centred from all parts of the +district upon the exact spot of the fire. Meanwhile, Uncle Ith lashed +his mighty instrument into a sonorous fury; and all the other bells +played their echo, even to the far-away tinkler on Mount Morris, which, +having few fires in its own neighborhood to report, took a pleasure in +telling its little world of those which were raging down town. + +For the information of his uncle, and to atone in part for his previous +neglect, Bog devoted only a half eye to the Minford family, and kept the +rest of his optics on the fire. Just after its discovery, the smoke had +loomed up dense and black, as if it were trying to suffocate the flames +beneath. Then it changed rapidly to a light blue, and was chased faster +upward by two tongues of fire. These tongues leaped aloft with a sudden +impulse, and shed a revelation of light over acres of houses, and +brought out church steeples in vivid relief against the sky, and put a +new gilding on storm-beat en vanes and weathercocks. All this Bog +described in his own way to his uncle; and his uncle, stooping at the +lever, kept on ringing with unabated zeal; and all the other bells +banged away like an orchestra of which Uncle Ith was the leader. + +Then Bog saw the forms of men suddenly spring into sight, as if out of +the very roof, between the two fiery tongues. The tongues licked the air +about them with savage whirls; but the brave fellows dodged back, and +were unhurt. Then, advancing boldly again, they released their hands +from something which they had been holding, and lo! four jets of water +struck at the very roots of the flames, tripped at them, and made them +stagger, drove them twice into the roof, and caught them with deadly +accuracy as they came out again; and, in less than five minutes, changed +all their brave splendor to dull, black smoke, and set the victor's mark +upon them--the column of white steam which arises from the half-quenched +embers, and proclaims that the fire is put out of mischief at last. + +"Nothing but a kind o' white smoke, now," said Bog. + +Uncle Ith, who had just rung the last stroke of a round, relinquished +the lever, and looked over the shoulder of his nephew. "The fire's out," +said he. "When you see the steam comin' up that way, you may know that +the water has whipped." The old man then seated himself in the backless +chair, produced a short black pipe from a crossbeam overhead, and +rewarded himself with a few long puffs. + +When Uncle Ith had a pipe in his mouth, he became didactic, and he +therefore proceeded to renew his donations of valuable advice to his +nephew, who was still looking hard out of the southeast window. + +Bog cocked his head on one side, to make a show of listening, and said +"Yes, sir," now and then, which was all that his uncle expected of him. +But his whole mind, and his heart, were in the little double-windowed +room, where Pet was now practising upon the piano. Through the +uncurtained glass, Bog could see her hands weaving music with the keys, +and almost fancy he could hear it. The inventor bent over his machine, +and plied the hammer, the chisel, and the file, on various parts of it. +Now and then he would pause, stand erect, and look proudly toward his +child, and keep time to her music with inclinations of his head. Bog, +without knowing it, would do the same thing. + +While the boy was gloating over this scene, unconscious of the swift +passage of time, the clock on the nearest church struck nine. Bog +sighed, for he knew that that was Pet's hour for bed. Sure enough. Her +little hands shut up the piano, and neatly smoothed down the cloth over +it. Then she lit a candle, ran up to her father and kissed him, and in a +moment was lost from Bog's sight in her chamber. As she disappeared, the +boy's lips murmured "Good-night" with a fervor which made that simple +colloquial phrase both a prayer and a blessing. + +When Pet had gone, Bog suddenly found that the night had become cold, +and that he was beginning to shiver. So he shut the southeast window, +and took a seat by the fire to warm himself before going home. + + + +BOOK FOURTH. + +CHILDREN OF THE WORLD. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +MYNDERT VAN QUINTEM AND SON. + +One morning, when Marcus Wilkeson returned home from a ramble, he found +his half-sister Philomela violently dusting the furniture and books of +the snug little back parlor. The air was full of dancing motes, which +looked large and suffocating in the sunshine. Marcus had politely +requested his sister, fifty times at least, _not_ to molest that +sanctuary of meditation oftener than once a fortnight. To which she +always replied: "I suppose you great lazy fellows would like to have the +cobwebs grow on you. But you sha'n't, while I am in the house." Then, +with a few dexterous flourishes of her cloth, she would start the dust +up in a cloud. + +On this morning, Marcus Wilkeson, being in the most tolerant of moods, +merely said "Whew!" and took a seat by his favorite window, the lower +sash of which he threw wide open, with the vain hope that some of the +dust would blow out. Miss Philomela smiled at this act so as to be seen +by him. But he did not appear to notice it. Then she whisked her cloth +under his very nose, as if to challenge objections. After this +aggravation had been repeated three or four times, Marcus felt compelled +to make a mild protest. + +"Great deal of dust, sister," he said, stating what he presumed would +not be contradicted. + +"Is there?" replied Miss Philomela, exulting in the success of her +stratagem. "_I_ didn't notice it; nor would you, if you had some +business to look after, like other people, instead of stopping in the +house all day." + +Marcus had heard that argument and triumphantly put it down so often, +that he did not think it worth another word. Consequently he +said nothing. + +This obstinate silence galled Miss Philomela; and, after waiting full +three minutes to see if Marcus would not answer, and meanwhile dusting +prodigiously in his neighborhood, she said: + +"Well, it's some gratification to know that you do not have the +hardihood to defend yourself. You are well aware that nothing can +justify a healthy, middle-aged man--I may say, a young one--in retiring +from active life and society, and becoming a great lazy mope." + +"I'm really too lazy to discuss it now," replied Marcus, smiling, and +filling his meerschaum from the tobacco pouch which hung conveniently at +the window's side. + +Philomela regarded him for a moment with an expression of pity and +horror. Then she heaved a sigh, and muttered something about +misapplied talents. + +"You had better say, 'Misapplied brooms and dusters,'" retorted her +half-brother. "I should be perfectly happy now, but for this +confounded dust." + +"Laugh away. I know you despise my sisterly advice. But you can never +say that I have not done my duty--" + +"To the furniture, most assuredly," interrupted Marcus. + +Miss Philomela Wilkeson heaved another sigh in the best style of +martyrdom, and precipitately left the room, followed by her brother's +cheerful, rattling laugh. + +"A good old girl enough," said Marcus to himself, "but for her +well-meaning and strictly conscientious habit of making people +miserable." + +Then he lighted his meerschaum, closed the window, squared his chair in +front of it, and looked out. His face instantly flushed with pleasure at +a strange sight. The blinds of the lower parlor windows across the way, +which had been shut for several weeks, were now thrown open, and the +white-haired old gentleman, looking thin and pale, sat in his armchair +in his old place, and was gazing at him. At least so Marcus thought; but +he hesitated to bow until the old gentleman gave a distinct salutation. +Marcus returned it two or three times with emphasis, as if to express +his great pleasure at seeing his unknown neighbor and friend again. He +blushed as he did so, for he was conscious of wilful neglect and cruel +indifference, in not having called upon him on New Year's day, or since +then, during the period of the closed blinds; and worse still, in not +having thought of him a dozen times, though he had taken the trouble to +pass his door on his way to or from Mr. Minford's, and had felt relieved +to see no black crape on the bell-pull. + +"But then," thought Marcus, pleading with and for himself, "my mind has +been occupied--very much occupied--- with other matters. Now, if he +beckons to me again, I will go over to him without a moment's delay. My +old friend looks very sick and unhappy." + +Just then the old gentleman reached out his thin white hand, as if the +motion required an effort, and beckoned twice. Marcus answered with two +bows, and immediately rose, and laid down his pipe on the window sill, +thereby implying that he would come over at once. The old gentleman +smiled faintly, to express his delight. + +In a few minutes Marcus Wilkeson stood at the antique mansion, and +pulled the bell. It vibrated feebly as if it shared with the house and +its owner the infirmities of age. The bell was answered by an old, +neatly dressed female servant. She had been told to admit the caller +instantly, and said, "Mr. Van Quintem will see you, sir." + +He entered a wide hallway, and followed the noiseless step of the +servant, trying to remember, without success, where he had heard the +name of Van Quintem. + +At the end of the hall the servant opened a door, and ushered him into a +room decorated at the edges of the ceiling with heavy wooden carvings, +and furnished in the style of the last century. The old gentleman partly +rose from his soft armchair, supported himself by one hand on it, and +extended the other to his visitor. + +"My name is Myndert Van Quintem, sir," said he, "and I am very glad to +see you." There was a pleasant smile in the old gentleman's pale face, +and a warmth in the grasp of his thin right hand, that attested the +sincerity of his words. + +"And my name is Marcus Wilkeson, sir; and I am truly happy to make your +acquaintance," responded the visitor, in his most genial manner. + +The old gentleman here showed symptoms of faintness from the exertion of +standing; and Marcus, taking him by the arm, forced him gently into his +easy chair, and took a seat beside him. + +"I must apologize for not having called before," said Marcus. "I--" + +"Not a word, sir," interrupted the old gentleman. "It is I who must +apologize for the rudeness of nodding and beckoning to a perfect +stranger. But the fact was, I could not regard you as a stranger. Seeing +you at your window, smoking and reading, day after day, while I was +smoking and musing at mine, I gradually came to sympathize with you, and +to wish that the distance across the lots was short enough to allow us +to converse. I thought, perhaps, that on some subjects we might interest +each other. Now, be good enough to fill that pipe and smoke it, while I +tell you in few words who I am." + +He pointed to a meerschaum, carved into the semblance of a Dutchman's +head, which looked not unlike his own. It was fitted to a long Turkish +stem, and hung against the wall by a silver chain, within reach of his +hand. Five other pipes of quaint design hung near it. + +Marcus protested against smoking in an invalid's presence; but the old +gentleman insisted upon it, and playfully but firmly threatened to smoke +the pipe himself if his guest did not. So Marcus filled the large bowl +from a paper of old, mild tobacco, which hung in a pouch near it, and +drew a few gentle whiffs, intending to let the pipe go out. But the old +gentleman watched him. + +"'Twon't do," said he. "That old pipe of mine is not used to neglect. As +a particular favor, now, I beg that you'll smoke, and puff out clouds, +as I have often seen you do across the way." + +Marcus protested again, but the old gentleman stubbornly maintained his +point; and it was not till the pungent smoke began to curl upward, that +he proceeded with his personal disclosure. + +"Have you ever heard my name before, Mr. Wilkeson?" said he. + +Marcus bowed, and said that he had not had that pleasure. + +"Of course not," returned the old gentleman, not displeased with the +answer. "I have taken infinite pains to keep out of public life since I +retired from business, twenty-five years ago. Even before that time, I +was known only to a very few persons as a silent partner in the large +iron-importing house of Sniggs, Buffet & Co. I had no relations, and few +friends, in the common acceptance of that much-abused word. My only +happiness was in my wife--that is her picture hanging over the +mantelpiece--and this house, which my father built, and which, according +to a tradition in our family, is on or near the spot where my +great-great-grandfather, the fourth Myndert Van Quintem, perished by the +hands of the Indians." + +"Then," interrupted Marcus, "you belong to an old Dutch family?" + +"To one of the oldest on record," replied Mr. Van Quintem. "My great +ancestor, the genuine original Myndert, came over as cook with Hendrik +Hudson. We have an iron spoon of doubtful authenticity, said to have +descended from him. Sometimes I have paid the penalty of this ancient +and distinguished origin, by receiving stupid compliments on my old +Dutch blood, as if that species of blood were better than any other. +That sort of nonsense I have always answered by informing the flatterer +that the first bearer of my venerable name was a cook; the second, a +tanner; the third--well, the least said about the third the better; and +the fourth, a barber. My grandfather, a very worthy saddler, in old +Queen's street, was the first of the series that was ever able to buy +and hold real estate. My father increased upon his purchases, and, when +the property came into my possession, I, in turn, added to its extent as +fast as I could. In forty years, this property has become valuable; and +I now find myself and my lots occupying a large space on the tax rolls. + +"It is a curious fact, and illustrates the uncertainty of human events, +that my success is the result of accident, and is not in the least due +to my judgment or foresight. Every kind of business that I have engaged +in--and I have tried several kinds--has failed. Sniggs, Buffet & Co. +almost finished me; and, if I had not backed out as I did, the better +part of my estate would have been sacrificed. Among those who know me, I +pass for a very shrewd business man, who has made a fortune by his +numerous failures. This tribute to my abilities is flattering, but I +must disclaim it. But I am tiring you with these petty details of +my life." + +"Not at all, really," said Marcus Wilkeson, who enjoyed the old +gentleman's frankness. + +Mr. Van Quintem paused, and began to show signs of fatigue. He asked for +a cordial which stood on an old sideboard with great lion's feet, near +his visitor's chair. Having sipped of its contents, he expressed himself +relieved, and resumed his story: + +"As I was saying, I found my whole happiness in my wife, and in this +house. With the exception of a few friends of my youth--now all +dead--she was my only society. Like me, she was fond of retirement and +of books. You, sir, can appreciate the quiet, satisfying pleasure which +we derived from books, for you, too, are a constant, happy reader; and +you have fine books, as I know by the size of them. You see, I have been +observing you closely," he added, with a smile. The old gentleman's +smile was sweet, but relapsed into a mild expression of sadness. + +"Not more closely than I have observed you," said Marcus. "I have often +wondered what stout old quartos you were reading. To tell you the truth, +I inferred, from the dimensions of the books and your white cravat, that +you were a clergyman." Marcus might have added, that the old gentleman's +flowing white locks and benevolent features had contributed to the +illusion; but he had already discovered that Mr. Van Quintem, like +himself, was averse to compliments. + +The old gentleman took the remark good-naturedly. "This is not the first +time," said he, "that my old-fashioned fancy for a white cravat has led +to that mistake. You will find very little of the body of divinity in +that library. When I recover from this illness so as to hobble about, we +will look over my little collection together." + +Marcus said that nothing could give him greater delight, unless it was +to show his friend his own humble library. + +"Thank you," returned Mr. Van Quintem; "and I promise to run over and +look at it when I am well enough to go out." The haste with which the +old gentleman made the last remark, and the fact that he did not invite +his visitor to examine the library then and there, led Marcus to think +that the old gentleman had some private trouble on his mind, which he +wished to diminish by imparting to another. Marcus was right. + +The old gentleman heaved a sigh, and resumed: + +"For ten years after my retirement, my wife and I lived on in the calm, +happy manner that I have described. We had no griefs--not even that one +which most commonly afflicts parents, the loss of children. Yet I +sometimes think, sir, that it would be far better for some children to +die in their youth and innocence, than to grow up and become bad men, +and torture and almost kill their parents with ingratitude and +unkindness." Marcus guessed what was to come. + +"We had but one child--a boy--born long after I had given up all hopes +of having an heir. I need not tell you, sir, what a joy he was to us in +his infancy; for you, too, I presume, are a husband and a father." + +Marcus replied confusedly, and as if it were something to be ashamed of, +that he was neither the one nor the other, though he hoped some day +(here he was exceedingly awkward) to be both. + +The old gentleman was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, that he did not +seem to notice the reply. He again braced himself in the chair, as if he +would, by that act, gather strength to proceed. + +"Of course, I called the child Myndert. He was the seventh of that name; +and I used to think, even when he was a toddling little baby, what plans +of education would be best suited to develop his talents. I know that a +parent's partiality is a magnifying glass of high power; but, to the +best of my belief, he was a most precocious child. I think so now, as I +look back upon the days of his prattling innocence. + +"After a great deal of debating, my wife and I concluded to make a +lawyer of him. He was to be the first lawyer in our family annals; and +we fondly pictured to ourselves that he would become an eminent judge, +or that he would step from the bar into political life, and shed honor +upon his country and his family as a statesman. I know how ridiculous +these imaginings must seem to you, and I recall them only to show you +how deeply our hearts were wrapped up in that boy. + +"When our little Myndert was five years old, my wife died." Here the old +gentleman clutched the arms of the chair firmly with both hands. "Our +son had been very sick for a week before, and my dear Clara had nearly +worn herself out watching over and nursing him. A severe cold, which she +caught while going to the druggist's in a rain, did the rest. She died +with one arm around me and the other around little Myndert; and her +last words were a blessing on the boy, and a request that I would always +love him for her sake." The old gentleman's eyes glistened with tears, +and his lips twitched convulsively. Marcus evinced his sympathy in the +fittest way, by keeping silence, and fixing his eyes on the floor. + +"Well, sir, not to be tedious, I lavished my whole heart upon that +child. His presence seemed to be some consolation for the great loss I +had sustained. His features were so like hers, in all except the eyes, +that I seemed to see her through him; and thus, in a peculiar sense, I +loved him for her sake, indeed. He was petted and caressed from his very +cradle. Ah, there was my error; but who can blame a father for +over-loving his only son, and that one motherless! + +"He early showed indications of a fierce temper and a sullen pride, in +which respects he resembled not his mother, but her father, who, with +the exception of these two faults, was a good and just man. I have heard +of cases in which strong mental traits jump over a generation, and +appear in the next one. I thought, and still think, that my son's +singular peculiarities might be explained in that way. If you will bear +with me, sir, I will give you some illustrations of his character. + +"When he was nine years of age, a dear friend, now dead, advised me not +to injure so precocious an intellect by too much cultivation, but to put +the boy on a farm, where he could divide his time between healthful work +and youthful sports, and would be kept away from the contaminating +influences of the city, I agreed to make the experiment, though +reluctantly, for I could not bear the thought of parting with my child. +An old family acquaintance who owned a farm in Dutchess County, and had +no children, was willing to take my boy. + +"Little Myndert liked the idea of going into the country, and for two +weeks he behaved very well; and his acting father wrote me, that if I +could spare the boy, he would like to adopt him as his own. But the next +letter, a week afterward, brought a different story. It was while +Myndert was not put to work, that he behaved so well. But when the +farmer gave him a little hoe, and asked him to grub up a few weeds in +the garden, the lad threw it down, and said to the farmer, 'I hate you.' +This was his favorite expression to those who aroused his displeasure +when a child. The good man was astonished at this insubordination, and +tried to persuade Myndert to do as he was told. But persuasion was +useless; and so were the threats with which the farmer tried to frighten +him. As for whipping the boy, he was, like me, too soft-hearted to +do that. + +"So Myndert became the master there, as he had been here. His real +nature now came out. From that time until the worthy farmer sent the boy +home in despair--ten weeks later--he was the wonder and terror of the +neighborhood. Chickens, goslings, and young ducks were killed; boughs of +apple trees and other fruit trees were broken down; strawberry beds were +entered, and the plants pulled up by the roots; the windows of the +village church and schoolhouse were broken with stones; and three +fourths of these acts were traced to little Myndert. He always denied +the charges, and put on an air of innocence, which deceived +many persons. + +"The cunning which he exhibited in doing these malicious acts, and +trying to divert suspicion from himself, was truly wonderful in a child +of his age. One day he was caught by a farmer in the act of killing some +young chickens; and the owner was so mad, that he whipped the boy +soundly. That very night the farmer's wood shed was set on fire from the +outside; but a heavy rain came on, and put out the flames. The traces of +the fire were plainly to be seen next morning; and the farmer found +proofs enough, I fear, to have convicted my son of a felony. + +"My friend informed me of all these facts in a very sorrowful letter, +and I hastened to take my son once more under my own roof. + +"Here I tried every method that a father's love could devise to reform +him. But all was useless. He seemed to have no idea of truth or honor, +of affection or duty to me. When, at times, I thought he was showing +signs of improvement, I always found, afterward, that he was only +concealing his mischievous acts more carefully. I call them mischievous, +though the word 'malicious' would perhaps describe them better; for they +were all undertaken in a spirit of evil, and not of fun." The old +gentleman here rested, and refreshed himself with a sip of the cordial. + +"But it would take days to tell you of all my troubles with that boy, +and I will briefly refer to the rest of them. + +"By the advice of another friend (for I have never taken any step in the +treatment of my child without first seeking for friendly advice), I sent +him, when twelve years of age, to a celebrated school in Massachusetts, +where the discipline is very strict. I had a personal interview with the +master, and requested him, as a favor, to chastise Myndert, if all other +means failed to subdue him. Though I could not bear to whip him, I was +willing that he should suffer a proper punishment, inflicted in the +right spirit, from others. At this school he conducted himself properly +for about three weeks, and was taking a high rank as a scholar, when his +natural tastes asserted themselves, in all sorts of wicked pranks on his +fellow pupils, on the teachers, and on people in the village. The master +at first expostulated, and then gave Myndert a good thrashing. That +night the master narrowly escaped being hit by a large stone thrown +through his bedroom window. Next morning my son was missing, and for +three weeks no trace of him could be found. I advertised in newspapers, +describing him, and offering large rewards for his recovery. I had the +same notice printed on bills, and stuck up all through the country. I +employed detectives to trace out the runaway. A month passed, and no +tidings. I was in despair. Toward the close of the fifth week, one of +the detectives struck a trail on Cape Cod, and, after a patient search, +found the young rascal living, under the assumed name of Carlo, with a +fisherman, in a little seaside hamlet. As the fishing season was a good +one, and men were scarce, the fisherman had gladly received my son as +an apprentice for his board. The novelty, excitement, and sometimes +danger of the pursuit pleased Myndert greatly, and the old fisherman +said that he was a good hand for a boy. When the detective found him, +however, he was beginning to be tired of his strange occupation (nothing +pleases him long), and he consented to come home on condition that I +would not scold him, and would give him plenty of pocket money. I had +been weak enough to authorize the making of these promises. + +"The return of my prodigal son made me happy. As I had promised, I did +not reproach him, and gave him all the money that he wished. He was not +old enough to know how to spend money viciously. His tastes, though +costly, were comparatively innocent. From childhood he had always been +very fond of new clothes, and he indulged that passion to the utmost. At +twelve years of age, he was called the 'Young Dandy' all through this +part of the town; and I sometimes heard of his attracting attention +on Broadway. + +"He was so well satisfied with my generosity, that he consented to +receive two short lessons daily from tutors at the house, and surprised +them, as he did everybody, with his wonderful aptitude for learning." + + + +CHAPTER II. + +BUYING GOOD BEHAVIOR. + +"For three years I bought my son's good behavior with unlimited pocket +money, and foolishly thought that his nature had changed. Occasionally +he would do malicious acts to his tutors, or to my housekeeper or +servants; but these occurred less frequently as time rolled on, and at +last ceased. At fifteen years of age, he was sufficiently advanced in +learning to pass a college examination, and I determined to send him to +college. He was delighted at the proposal, for he had begun now to +appreciate the advantages of education. Anticipating that he would have +trouble with the Faculty, I selected a college which was distinguished +for its means of learning, and was jet very lenient in its discipline. +Myndert easily obtained admission, and at once took high rank in his +class. Knowledge came so easy to him, that he had plenty of leisure, and +I feared that his old vicious habits would break out again. Greatly did +I rejoice not to hear a single complaint of him during his first term. +But, alas! I found, when he returned home, that he had learned to drink +and gamble, and that the large sums of money I had sent him had been +squandered in carousals, and over the card table. Still he maintained +the first position in his class, and of that I was proud. + +"I remonstrated against his vices. He admitted that there was some truth +in what I had heard, mixed up with a great deal of exaggeration; and +justified his conduct by saying that it was the fashion, and he could +not keep out of it if he would. His good health and naturally high +spirits did not appear to be in the least affected by dissipation, and I +gladly allowed myself to believe that many of the reports about him +were false. + +"The next term was still more expensive; and I found out that the larger +portion of my heavy outlay went for liquor and gambling. Still he kept a +high grade in his class--taking the second rank instead of the first; +and the Faculty either were ignorant of his misconduct, or did not think +it worth punishing. Through his first, second, and third years at +college, these were his only vices. His constitution, though strong, was +gradually undermined; and, at the end of his junior year, he showed +unmistakable signs of bloating, became very irregular in his attendance +on recitations, and had sunk to be the fifteenth in his class. I had +hopes that he would pass through his fourth year safely, and get a +diploma. But, at the very beginning of that year, he kept drunk, and +absented himself from recitations for a fortnight, and, when called +before the Faculty for a mild reprimand, cursed them with the most +horrible oaths, defied them, and left their presence. They had no +choice but to expel him from the college; and, a week after, he was +brought home to me nearly dead with intoxication. + +"A month's illness followed, which brought him almost to the grave. +Though, at the time, I prayed with all a father's love for his recovery, +I have since thought--- oh, how often!--that it would have been far +better for him to have died. But he was spared; and, having been +thoroughly frightened by his narrow escape from the effects of +drunkenness, he vowed, on his recovery, that he would never touch +another drop of liquor. This pledge he kept for some months after his +health was fully restored. + +"Having decided to educate him for the law--the only profession that he +did not hold in contempt--I procured a place for him in the office of +Mulroy, Biggup & Lartimore, an excellent firm with whom I had had +some dealings. + +"Myndert entered upon his study of the profession with such ardor, that +I was obliged to caution him against ruining his health. But he only +laughed, and said he wanted to make up for past follies. I had never +before seen him in a penitent mood, and I was delighted. Mr. Mulroy, who +has had a hundred pupils in his time, told me that he never had a more +promising one than Myndert. He was a regular and constant attendant at +the office, and spent all his evenings at home. The natural strength of +his constitution came to his aid, as if to encourage him in his efforts +to reform; and, notwithstanding his severe studies, he began to look in +better health than he had ever been. Thus things went on six whole +weeks, and I was happy, and busied myself in framing plans for my son's +advancement in life. + +"He told me, one day, that he had joined a club of young law students, +who met every evening and discussed legal points, held mock courts, and +thus sought to familiarize themselves with the duties of their +profession; and asked me if I approved of it. He sought my approval so +rarely for anything, that I freely gave it, cautioning him again, +however, to be careful of his health. He laughed at my apprehensions. +But I was pained to see how soon my fears proved true. Within a +fortnight, the rosy color of his cheeks had disappeared, and his eyes +were palpably sunken, dull, and marked with a sickly blue beneath. He +never returned home till midnight, and sometimes was out till three +o'clock in the morning. I scolded him for devoting so much time to his +law club; but he said that the members were, like himself, enthusiastic +students, and that he was always the first to leave their fascinating +debates and mimic trials. A week later, I marked the familiar bloat in +his cheeks, and suspected the truth. + +"Placing a watch upon his movements--no easy matter, for he is very +shrewd and cautious--I soon found out that the law club was a myth, and +that his nights were passed in the wildest debauchery. He had not only +resumed all his old vices, but had acquired new ones. + +"When I reproved him, as I did with just indignation, he threw off the +mask of concealment, which he said he was tired of wearing, and became +the same bold, defiant, reckless boy that he always was; while I +continued to be the same weak, foolish, fond parent. I cannot recount +the tortures inflicted upon me by my son since that fatal discovery. He +has not only abandoned all his law studies (having been expelled from +the office of Mulroy, Biggup & Lartimore for grossly insulting a young +female client), and utterly ruined his own body and soul, but, by his +acts, he has brought shame upon several families. + +"When this new series of outrages came to my knowledge, I threatened to +disinherit him. He laughed at me. He knew how I loved him for his +mother's sake, and, with that hold upon my affections, he defied me. + +"To heartless indifference he gradually added insults, and often cursed +me, his own father, in this very room, where his mother has rocked his +cradle a thousand times while she listened to my reading of an old poem +or novel. The last of his crimes of which I have heard, was brought to +my knowledge about six weeks ago. It was a piece of treachery the most +villanous, and I told my son, in plain words, what I thought of it. I +was weak and nervous from an illness which is hereditary in my family, +and I reprimanded him with more severity than usual. I told him, that if +God, in His infinite mercy, spared him, yet he was not secure from just +punishment from the friends of those whom he had wronged, and that the +human vengeance, which had been so long postponed, would surely come. He +looked at me with malice in his small gray eyes (not his mother's eyes), +and, when I ceased speaking, raised both hands to heaven, and, with the +most horrible blasphemy, called down its curses upon me; and then he +swore, that if I crossed his path, or thwarted his plans, or refused him +money, he would kill me. + +"Just before he uttered this monstrous threat, I sprang from my chair +with horror, and caught him imploringly by both hands. I would have +saved him from that dreadful act, but I was too late. I saw him wrench +away his right hand, and raise it to strike me back.... I knew no more, +until Mrs. Frump, my niece, who has had charge of my household during +the past three years, entered the room, and found me stretched +insensible on the floor." + +"I saw a part of the sad scene," said Marcus Wilkeson, who had listened +with mingled indignation and compassion to this strange tale. "Your son +was standing by that window, and you were sitting near him, also within +sight of me. I distinctly saw you catch your son's hands with your own; +he wrenched the right one away, and raised it; then you fell, but he did +not strike you, or attempt to. As you dropped to the floor, he glanced +anxiously through the window, saw me watching him, and then pulled down +the curtain." + +"Then he did not strike me to the floor! I never believed he did, for +there was no bruise or other mark upon my head. Thank God, my son was +spared the commission of that crime! Bad as he is, he would not strike +his own father." And the poor old gentleman's heart found meagre +comfort, for a moment, in that thought. + +"A few words more, and I am done. The shock brought my disease to a +crisis. For over a month my recovery was doubtful. But my naturally +tough constitution, skilful medical attendance, and the unceasing care +of Mrs. Frump, brought me safely out of it. The devotion of that good, +light-hearted woman was truly affecting. She never left my bedside, +night or day, except for a few hours' rest; and even to-day, when, as +you see, I am well enough to sit up and talk, and, in fact, am perfectly +restored to health, it was only by almost pushing her into the street +that I could get her to go out for a day's shopping--a luxury which the +good soul had denied to herself during all my illness." + +("I must tell Maltboy about this excellent woman," thought Marcus,) + +"My son did not come near my sickbed, and I have not seen him since that +unhappy day. He has visited the house daily, and shut himself in his +room for several hours. How he occupies his time, I cannot imagine, but +am sure that it is only in studying or practising evil." + +"Possibly I may throw some light on that mystery," said Marcus. "I have +seen him, from my convenient window, enter his room, day after day, +generally in the afternoon, sit down at his table, and write for over an +hour steadily." + +"That is strange!" exclaimed the old gentleman. "He has given up the +study of law. He has no taste for literary labor. He writes a beautiful +hand, and would not waste time in trying to improve his penmanship. It +is singular, indeed." + +"His work, whatever it is, does not seem to satisfy him; for I have +observed that he no sooner fills a page with writing, than he burns it +to ashes by the gas jet, which he always keeps faintly lighted above +his head." + +"Some more villany, I am sure," said the old gentleman, with a deep +sigh. "We shall find it out by its terrible consequences, in due time. +He has plenty of leisure to cultivate his vices, but not a moment to +seek my forgiveness (which, God knows, I would freely grant, if he would +only ask it). He cannot even throw away a word upon Mrs. Frump, to find +out whether his own father is dead or alive." + +The last thought gave acute pain to the wretched parent. Tears again +sprang to his eyes, and Marcus feared that he was about to witness that +saddest sight in nature--an old man weeping. + +But, by an effort, Mr. Van Quintem stifled his emotion, and, turning +suddenly upon his visitor, cried, in a voice of despair: + +"Tell me, sir, in Heaven's name, what _shall I_ do with my son?" + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE YOUNG MONSTER. + +From boyhood, it had been Marcus Wilkeson's fortune (or the reverse) to +attract confidence, and to be sought out for advice. And it had most +generally happened that he was requested to bestow the last valuable +article in cases where inexperience absolutely disqualified him from +giving it. + +He had found, however, that, when people ask for advice, they expect to +receive it, although they reserve to themselves the right, and, in +ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, exercise the privilege, of +rejecting it. + +But Marcus had gathered, from the old gentleman's story, that the error +of his dealings with the rebellious son lay in his constantly seeking +advice from everybody, and taking it, too, instead of adopting some +firm, consistent, and independent course of his own toward that unfilial +monster. Furthermore, Marcus knew that the son was already beyond the +reach of reform. For the future peace of his venerable friend, and for +the good of society, he could have conscientiously recommended +two things: + +First, the immediate hanging of Myndert Van Quintem, jr. Second, his +imprisonment for life in a penitentiary warranted to be strong enough +to hold him. + +Neither of these courses being practicable until that young man had +entitled himself to the benefit of one or the other of them in the +legitimate way, Marcus Wilkeson had nothing to offer, and so he told the +old gentleman. + +Mr. Van Quintem was disappointed. He looked up wistfully, and said: + +"Can't you suggest something?" + +Thus appealed to, Marcus angled in the deep waters of his mind, and +fished up this inadequate idea: + +"Let him travel a couple of years in Europe." + +"I have proposed it," returned the old gentleman, "but he won't, unless +I give him five thousand dollars, and an unlimited letter of credit. +This I refused. Besides, to tell the truth, I do not wish to exile the +boy, but to reform him at home." + +Marcus was too polite to say bluntly that that was impossible; so he +cast in his line again at random, and drew out this worthless +suggestion: + +"Stop all his pocket money, and tell him plainly that you will +disinherit him unless he reforms." + +"My dear sir," replied the old gentleman, "that might do with some sons, +but not with mine. He would obtain money by theft, or even a worse +crime, and bring disgrace upon my gray hairs. He might go even +farther--for he has threatened it, as I told you--and murder me in +revenge. Besides, he is on short allowance now. I give him only thirty +dollars a week--less than a quarter of what he used to receive from me. +Much as his conduct deserves punishment, I could not reduce him to +beggary, you know." + +This useless discussion was cut short by the precipitate entrance of the +subject of it. Mr. Van Quintem was greatly surprised at the sudden +apparition, and his face exhibited signs first of astonishment, then of +indignation, then of pleasure, in quick succession. But before his +erring son Had advanced halfway toward the father's chair, the father +turned his head slightly away, as if not daring to trust himself to an +interview. + +The son took one sharp survey of Marcus, and then slipped his right hand +insinuatingly in that of his father, which hung over an arm of the easy +chair. Mr. Van Quintem turned his face farther away, but Marcus observed +that his fingers closed upon the hand which lay within them. + +"Are you quite well, my dear father?" asked the son, in a low, hollow +voice, not meant to be overheard by the visitor. + +"I am, thanks to God, and the doctor, and my niece," said the father, +stealing a side look at his son. + +"And no thanks to me, I know that. I feared, my dear father, after what +had occurred, that you could not bear the sight of me. Therefore I kept +away from your bedside." + +"That is a lame excuse, Myndert," replied the father. He spoke in a +voice intended to be audible to Marcus Wilkeson. + +A gleam in the son's sunken eyes, and a new pallor on his bloated +cheeks, indicated his displeasure at the turn which this conversation +was taking. He withdrew his hand, and said, in a deep whisper: + +"I did not think you would quarrel with me, when I called to +congratulate you on your recovery." + +Mr. Van Quintem wavered a moment. Then, looking at the calm face of +Marcus Wilkeson, as if to gather strength from it, he replied: + +"My son, such language is not respectful to your father. You know, as +God knows, that I have been too indulgent with you." + +The son coolly twirled the ends of his mustache--which protruded from +each side of his mouth like the antennae of a catfish--and gazed +impudently in his father's face. Then he turned about, and bestowed +another scornful, analyzing look on the tranquil Marcus. + +"That is a friend of mine, Myndert, and I have no secrets from him. Mr. +Wilkeson--my son." + +Marcus politely rose, and offered his hand to the young man, who +accepted it reluctantly. + +"I have seen you before, I believe," said he. "Across the way, eh?" + +"I dare say," was the reply. "I sometimes sit at the window, reading." + +Myndert then abruptly faced his fatherland Marcus resumed his chair. + +"Since you have no secrets from this gentleman," said the son, "allow me +to ask if you could conveniently spare five hundred dollars +this morning?" + +The old gentleman hesitated; then reassured himself by an observation of +Marcus Wilkeson's face, and said: + +"No, my son; I can no longer encourage this extravagance. Where is your +last monthly allowance?" + +"Gone, of course," answered the son, in a loud and insolent tone. "Do +you expect to keep me on miserable driblets like that?" + +"Thirty dollars a week, and board and lodging, are enough for any +reasonable young man, Myndert. I cannot give you more." + +The son glared on his father and Marcus Wilkeson (holding the latter +chiefly responsible for the refusal) with amazement. + +"Since you are obstinate, then, make it three hundred." The son had +often been able to obtain half or two thirds of what he originally +asked, as a compromise. + +Again the old gentleman wavered; and it was not until he had looked +Marcus Wilkeson straight in the eye, that he answered, striking the arm +of the chair with his thin white hand: + +"Not one cent!" + +The tumid cheeks assumed a sicklier white, and the small, offensive eyes +sparkled with a fiercer fury, as the son replied: + +"Very well, sir. Be as stingy as you please. Take the advice of your new +friend here, and cut off my beggarly monthly allowance, too. But +remember, I must have money, and I will have it!" + +Had Marcus Wilkeson not been present, the father might have been brought +to terms by this vague but dreadful threat. But now he shook his head, +as an intimation that nothing could move him. + +"You have taken your own course, sir," continued the son, through his +closed teeth. "I shall take mine. Don't forget my last words. As for +you, sir," turning to Marcus Wilkeson, "we shall probably meet again." + +Marcus urbanely responded that nothing could give him greater pleasure. +The son, darting a last malignant look at his father, whose face was +happily averted, strode out of the room, slamming the door, and +afterward the street door, with increased emphasis. + +When he had gone, the father said to his visitor, feebly: + +"Have I done right?" + +"Precisely. Your conduct was firm, prudent, and will have a good +effect." + +"I hope so--I hope so. But don't you think, now, I was a little too +severe--to begin with, I mean? I fear that my son will be driven to +crime; and that would kill me." + +"I regard his threats as only empty words," replied Marcus. He has found +them useful heretofore, and he tries them now. Having learned that they +do not longer frighten you, he will never employ them again. That is one +point gained. If he is really bad enough to commit a crime for money, +your misjudged kindness will not prevent him, but will rather encourage +his evil disposition." + +"There is truth in what you say," replied the old gentleman, faintly; +"but I--I--fear." + +The protracted conversation, and the suppressed agony of the past few +minutes, were too much for the old gentleman to bear on his first day of +convalescence. He suddenly turned very pale, and his head drooped. +Marcus threw open a window, and held the cordial to his lips. As Marcus +was applying this restorative, without any perceptible benefit, the door +opened, and Mrs. Frump ran in, red in the face, and quite out of breath. + +"Excuse me, sir. I am Mrs. Frump, Mr. Van Quintem's niece." + +"I am Mr. Wilkeson, a friend of Mr. Van Quintem," said Marcus, hastily +introducing himself; "and I am glad you are come." + +"Yes, I see. Fainted away. Revive in a moment. Fresh air. Cordial, Quite +right. Now a little water on his forehead." + +Mrs. Frump made her sentences short, to accommodate her breath. + +As she passed a cool sponge across the patient's brow, she said: + +"I knew it would be so. He has been here. I saw him round the corner. +Looking pale and mad." + +"You are right, madam. He _has_ been here." + +Mrs. Frump's pleasant little eyes shone with unnatural anger, and there +was a presage of wrathful words in her quivering lips. Mrs. Frump was +desperately trying to keep back certain private opinions that she had +long entertained, but proved unequal to the effort. She burst out with: + +"He's an undutiful son, sir. A monster, sir. And he's killing his poor +father. He's--" + +"Ah! what?" said Mr. Van Quintem, opening his eyes, and looking wildly +around, like one who wakes from a horrible dream. + +"It's I. Your niece--Gusty," replied Mrs. Frump, changing her assumed +harsh tones into her natural soft ones "And I think you had better go to +bed. Please take hold, Mr. Wilkeson, and assist him to the next room." +She added, in a whisper, "Don't talk with him any more to-day." + +Mr. Wilkeson nodded, raised his eyebrows to signify that he appreciated +the advice, and proceeded at once to aid Mrs. Frump in her benevolent +task. The old gentleman had considerably revived by this time. + +"You are right, my dear Gusty," said he, looking fondly at his niece. +"You are always right. And you are right, too, sir," he added, turning +to Marcus. "Ah, if I had known such a good adviser years ago." + +Marcus, remembering Mrs. Frump's injunction, made no answer to this +remark. + +When the old gentleman had been led tottering into the adjacent parlor, +which was fitted up as his bedroom, and placed comfortably on a high +prop of pillows, Marcus drew out his watch, made an amiable pretence of +very important business down town, and bade his venerable friend +"good-by." + +"I had hoped you could stay longer; for I feel that you are a true +friend, and I can confide my sorrows to you," murmured the old +gentleman, taking his guest fondly by the hand. + +But Marcus, fortified by another significant look from Mrs. Frump, +declared that business was imperative, and he must go. He would call +to-morrow, without fail, and hoped to find his friend as cheerful as a +cricket. The old gentleman smiled at the absurdity of that hope, and +said he should depend on seeing him to-morrow. + +So, shaking hands warmly with Mr. Van Quintem, and bowing most +respectfully to Mrs. Frump, Marcus took his departure, and meditated, as +he walked slowly home, on the strange occurrences of the day. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +WESLEY TIFFLES. + +One evening, shortly after the events narrated in the last chapter, the +three bachelors, having finished dinner, and escaped from the grim +presence of Miss Philomela Wilkeson, took their accustomed seats and +pipes in the little back parlor. The curtains were drawn, the gas was +lighted, the fire burning brightly, and, upon these outward tokens of +cheer, the three bachelors reflected contentment and happiness from +their six eyes. In his own opinion, each of the three had unlimited +cause to be happy; and not even that killjoy of the household, Miss +Wilkeson, could mar the completeness of their felicity--when she was +not present. + +Fayette Overtop was blessed with the thought, that in Mrs. Slapman he +had found, at last, that rare bird for which he had patiently hunted +through the valleys and uplands of society--"a sensible woman." The +intellectual sympathy which was enkindled between them on the memorable +occasion of their first meeting, had grown warmer at each successive +interview--first at a supper party, second at a _conversazione_, and +third at a private theatrical and musical entertainment, to all of which +Mr. Overtop had been invited, with the particular compliments of the +liberal hostess. + +During this pleasant acquaintance, Mr. Overtop had made the +extraordinary discovery that Mrs. Slapman was married, and that the thin +little man whom he saw dodging up the stairs on New Year's day was +her husband. + +It would be difficult to explain, on behalf of Mr. Overtop, a phenomenon +which Mr. Overtop was never able to explain to the satisfaction of the +gossip-loving public, or of his best friends. We therefore content +ourselves with merely stating the fact, that Mr. Overtop's admiration +for Mrs. Slapman was purely intellectual; that he was fascinated by her +vivacious intellect, and not by her substantial person; by the charm of +her manners, and not of her face. He looked upon Mrs. Slapman as a +masculine mind and soul, of uncommon depth, made powerfully magnetic by +its enshrinement in a feminine form. Overtop once told Matthew Maltboy, +that he knew, in his own experience, the meaning of Platonic love. But +Matthew, who was a sad materialist even in his sentimental moods, +laughed at him, and winked. Overtop positively felt hurt at this unkind +reception of his confidences, and never again alluded to the state of +his feelings toward Mrs. Slapman, until subsequent occurrences made it +necessary in self-defence. + +With Mr. Slapman he was not personally acquainted; but he had +ascertained privately, from a musical frequenter of the house, who +invariably brought his flute with him, and who was understood to be the +oldest friend of the family, that Mr. Slapman owned a large property in +wild land in Pennsylvania, not a hundred miles from New York; that he +was improving it, and selling it out in building lots, and had already +cleared a handsome fortune; that he was a strict business man, and +looked after his affairs in person, passing between New York and +Slapmansville (the name of the new settlement) twice a week, and +spending the larger part of his time at the latter place. Also that, +next to avarice, which was his crowning trait, his chief fault was +jealousy. It galled him to think that his wife had obtained a settlement +in bank from him before marriage, which enabled her to indulge her +tastes for society; and it enraged him still more to observe how much +she was loved and admired by others, when he had purchased her +exclusively for his private love and admiration. He it was who was to be +sometimes seen stalking through the parlors with a pale face, or running +up and down the front staircase in a state of great nervous agitation. +None of Mrs. Slapman's visitors had the pleasure of his personal +acquaintance; and it was considered a point of good breeding not to +allude to him in her presence. + +For this misguided man Fayette Overtop felt a real pity. He yearned to +expostulate with him gently, as a friend. Taking Mr. Slapman's hand in +his own, he would have said: + +"Your wife is a precious gift to the world. Seek not to check the +outflow of her ardent nature. Thank Heaven that you are the custodian of +such a treasure, not to be selfishly monopolized by yourself, but held +in trust for the benefit of society." + +Overtop's meditations, on this particular occasion, pertained to the +style of the costume which would most become him as the lover of Mrs. +Slapman, in an original play to be enacted at her house toward the close +of the week. The question was chiefly of knee breeches. Overtop was +mentally debating whether he ought not, in justice to his thin legs, to +substitute an ampler style of integuments. + +Matthew Maltboy had also been invited to this _soiree dramatique_ (as +Mrs. Slapman's large pasteboards expressed it). A fat man was a +necessity of the play. Mrs. Slapman was not cordial to Matthew, +regarding him as an excessively commonplace person, and had invited him +to her social gatherings out of courtesy to Overtop; but her artist eye +saw in him a fitness for the fat man. Matthew was delighted with the +implied compliment to those talents for the stage which every man +supposes himself to possess in some degree, and cheerfully undertook +the part. + +The proprieties of costume did not in the least perplex Mr. Maltboy, as +he lay on the sofa digesting his dinner, and puffing out smoke rings by +the dozen. His thoughts were mildly fixed on that delightful Miss +Whedell. Five times he had been graciously permitted to visit the lady +at her house, and to discover a score of new charms at each interview. A +large experience in love making assured him that the object of his +idolatry was not wholly indifferent to him. The paternal Whedell had +hobbies. Matthew had studied them, like a skilful strategist, catered to +them, and felt quite sure that he had that revered individual on his +side. But, in the midst of these pleasant imaginings, there rose the +dark and baleful image of Chiffield! + +Marcus Wilkeson was also pondering--pleasantly, if one might judge from +the contented smile upon his lips. The subject of his thoughts was one +which, for reasons that seemed good to him, he still kept secret from +his fellow bachelors. He had freely told them of his singular adventure +at the house of the old gentleman opposite; but not a word of the +inventor and his daughter, and of the private school at Miss Pillbody's. +Not even the minute and sometimes tedious accounts which Overtop and +Maltboy gave of their private thoughts and experiences, could induce +Marcus to reciprocate their confidence. For the first time in his life +he wore a mask before his companions, and prevaricated, and became, on a +small scale, a humbug. + +The sharp ringing of the doorbell broke in upon the quiet reflections of +the three bachelors. Mash, the cook, who was at that moment reading the +fifteenth chapter of "The Buttery and the Boudoir: A Tale of Real Life," +in her favorite weekly, threw down the paper in a passion, bounded up +stairs, and admitted John Wesley Tiffles, or Wesley Tiffles, as he +always subscribed himself on promissory notes and other worthless paper. +Mr. Tiffles chucked Mash familiarly under the chin (resented with a +scornful look by Mash, who had learned from "The Buttery and the +Boudoir" to set a proper value on herself), and then walked straight to +the parlor, like one who knew he was a welcome guest. + +And he was right. For when he opened the door, and disclosed to the +three bachelors the well-known laughing eyes, hopeful face, and spare +figure of Wesley Tiffles, they hailed him with enthusiasm. He was a +walking cure for despondency, although he sometimes charged too high, in +the shape of borrowed money, for his professional services. But neither +of the three bachelors had yet sustained that pecuniary tax which Wesley +Tiffles always levied upon his friends, just before leaving them +forever. They formed a part of his reserve corps, which had latterly +been sadly thinned out in Mr. Tiffles's desperate contest with +the world. + +Mr. Tiffles shook hands with Marcus Wilkeson, giving him the grip of +some unknown Order, slapped Overtop on the back, and playfully pulled +the whiskers of Maltboy. Then he filled a pipe, threw himself into a +chair, adjusted his legs in the true form of a compass, and opened his +coat ostentatiously. All this in about ten seconds, and with a geniality +that defied reproof. He was the very embodiment of cheer. + +"Prepare to be astonished," said Mr. Tiffles, after his third whiff. "I +have a splendid idea." The three bachelors smiled, and nodded an +intimation that they were prepared, + +"I have had some impracticable notions in my time; but this _is_ good, +and you'll say so. You know that dog, Mark, two doors below--the large +yellow one, with cropped ears, and a tail like the handle of a +shaving brush?" + +Mr. Wilkeson replied that he had the pleasure of the animal's +acquaintance, + +"Well, as I was passing the dog's house on my way here, I slipped in the +snow. The dog, always on the alert for victims, took a mean advantage of +my situation, and jumped after me through the open gate. I scrambled to +my feet, but not before he had fastened his teeth in my right leg----" + +"Good heavens! was he mad?" cried Overtop, who had a horror of dogs, and +made wide circuits about them in the street. + +"Can't say as to that," replied Wesley Tiffles, "but advise you to keep +shy of him for the future, I was about to say that he bit me through the +leg of my trowsers. And on that very instant, as if by inspiration, I +caught--not the hydrophobia, but a magnificent idea. Having got on my +pins, I kicked the dog into his front yard, and immediately worked the +idea into shape. You'll be sure to like it." + +Marcus Wilkeson, speaking for self and friends, said he had no doubt of +that. Mr. Tiffles's ideas always possessed the merit of novelty. + +"That means that they have no other merit!" returned Tiffles, laughing, +"Very true of most of them, I confess all my failures. But here is an +idea which even you, skeptic as you are, will grant to be not only +novel, but great. You have all observed, gentlemen, the immense +differences in dogs. There are white, black, brown, gray, yellow (like +our suggestive canine friend two doors below), tan-colored, +mouse-colored, striped, and spotted dogs. There are round dogs, square +dogs, long dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, and low dogs. There are +full-grown dogs that weigh less than a pound, and others that kick the +beam at a hundred pounds. There are dogs that are pretty much all tail, +and there are dogs that have no tail to speak of. Among all the dogs +that you meet in the street, do you ever see two exactly alike?" + +Fayette Overtop, who spoke from extensive and minute observation, +unhesitatingly said "No." + +"True! Nature never repeats herself in dogs. In so doing, Nature works +directly for my benefit, as I will show you. Now, in the second place, +as you are probably aware, there is an ordinance forbidding unmuzzled +dogs to run in the streets during the hot months--" + +"An excellent law," interrupted Overtop. + +"If caught at large without muzzles, they are taken to the public pound, +and, unless redeemed by the owners within twenty-four hours, are drowned +in a tub--" + +"Serve 'em right," remarked the hydrophobiac bachelor. + +"Now, I am _slightly_ acquainted with some members of the Common +Council" (he laid emphasis on the word "slightly," to imply that he was +on terms of the closest intimacy with them), "and can easily obtain from +them the privilege of catching all the stray dogs, and taking them out +of the country next summer." + +"Which would be very benevolent to the dogs; and, regarded from their +point of view, your idea is a noble one," thoughtfully observed Marcus +Wilkeson. "But I don't, at this moment, exactly see how you are +benefited by it." + +Mr. Tiffles smiled with the consciousness of power, and chidingly said: + +"You are dull this morning, Mark--quite dull. Strike, but hear! In a +word, then, I propose to exhibit two or three hundred of these dogs, in +some country where there are _no_ dogs. I would give them strange names, +put them in cages, and call them the 'American Menagerie of Trained +Animals.' A person who had never seen dogs, would suppose each one to be +a different species from the others--just as the lion, the tiger, and +the leopard are different, though all belonging to the one cat family. +Now, there is my idea. What do you think of it? Of course, you laugh, +at first." + +Roars of laughter from the three bachelors had formed the chorus of +"Wesley Tiffles's closing sentences. Marcus Wilkeson, as became his age, +was the first to recover himself. + +"The idea is a splendid one. None better. But there is one slight +difficulty in the way. Where are you to find your country that has no +dogs? If there were such a happy land on the face of this earth, Overtop +would have hunted it up long ago, and moved there." + +Overtop laughingly replied, "That's so." He then informed Mr. Tiffles, +while admitting the theoretical excellence of his idea, that every +nation had its dogs as well as its fleas. Those two friends of man were +impartially distributed over the terrestrial globe. Overtop referred to +the standard Cyclopaedias, and several works on Natural History, in +proof of his assertion. + +"Can't be! can't be!" retorted Wesley Tiffles, who was at first disposed +to defend his brilliant idea. But brilliant ideas were a common growth +of his fertile mind, and, like all things easily produced, he held them +cheaply. The moment that evidence, or the test of practice, showed them +to be fallacious, he gave them up, and drew upon his brain for others. +So, after a second's reflection, he added: + +"Perhaps you are right. Dogs are not exactly in my line, after all. But +the idea, as an idea, was magnificent." + +As Wesley Tiffles spoke, he repeated the act, for the twentieth time, of +throwing back his overcoat (a little seedy), and opening his vest, as if +to draw attention to his shirt front, whose natural whiteness was toned +down by a delicate neutral tint. Immediately afterward, he placed his +hand on a small breastpin in the centre of the shirt front, and turned +it to the right and left. It sparkled for the first time in the rays of +the fire, and revealed to the experienced eyes of the three bachelors +simultaneously, that Wesley Tiffles was the wearer of a real diamond. + +"Excuse me," said Marcus Wilkeson, who divined that Tiffles wished his +diamond to be remarked upon, "but that is pretty!" + +"Pretty! What?" said Tiffles, looking about the room. + +"That diamond." + +"Oh! the diamond. Perhaps you would like to look at it?" (hands it round +for inspection). "Cost forty dollars. Rather a hard draw on my +exchequer" (that was Mr. Tiffles's word for a friend's pocket); "but I +considered it a most judicious investment for a young man just going +into business." + +The novelty of this idea was not lost on Fayette Overtop. "Pray explain, +Tiffles," said he. + +"Cheerfully," said Tiffles, replacing the gem in his shirt front, after +it had been duly handled and admired. "Nobody will acknowledge that he +is taken in by a diamond. He will say, 'Anybody can buy a diamond, by +saving up thirty or forty dollars; and why should I believe a man to be +rich who wears one?' Yet, in his heart of hearts, he does believe it, +unless the possessor of the diamond has the bad taste to dress flashily. +Then he passes for an impostor, and people will doubt, even against +their own senses, the genuineness of the stone. But let him dress +plainly, as I do," continued Mr. Tiffles, stroking down the left leg of +his black trowsers, shiny with wear, "and that little diamond shall +stand, in the eyes of the whole world, as the representative of a fat +bank account, a brown stone house, and a couple of corner lots." + +Marcus and Matthew laughed, but Fayette Overtop, who absolutely revelled +in paradoxes, said, "True, Tiffles, true!" + +"Don't think," pursued Tiffles, "that I expected to impose on you with +it. You know that I am a poor devil, living on my wits." (Tiffles was +delightfully frank with his intimate acquaintances.) "I hold out this +glittering bait, not for my friends, but for my old foe and natural +enemy, the world. You must know that I am on the eve of a grand +speculation--probably the grandest I have ever undertaken." + +"Another plan of advertising with large kites by day, and pictorial +lanterns attached to their tails at night?" asked Marcus Wilkeson. + +"Or another Submarine Pneumatic Parcel-Delivering Tube to Brooklyn?" +asked Matthew Maltboy. + +"Or an Association for the Cultivation of Mushrooms in Dark Cellars?" +asked Fayette Overtop. + +"Capital hits!" replied Wesley Tiffles, who took an unfeigned delight in +a friendly allusion to his failures. "But allow me to inform you +definitely, that those unfortunate speculations are not to be revived. +Like the lightning, I don't strike twice in the same place. No; the +project upon which I am now engaged is one so eminently practical, so +free from all that is visionary, that you will wonder how I thought of +it. That project is a PANORAMA OF AFRICA!" + + + +CHAPTER V. + +THE PANORAMA OF AFRICA + +The three bachelors concurred in the opinion that the idea was a good +one; but Marcus Wilkeson suggested that the field was too large. + +"I thought you would like the general proposition," said Tiffles. "But, +bless you, Mark! I don't mean to paint the whole continent, from stem to +stern, so to speak; only the undiscovered part of Central Africa--say +from Cape Guardafui on the east to the Bight of Benin on the west." + +"But how the deuce," asked Matthew Maltboy, "are you, or anybody else, +going to paint what has not been discovered?" + +Tiffles could hardly suppress a smile at the simplicity of the question. +"Why," said he, "that's easy enough. Don't all the geographers tell us +that the interior of Africa is made up, so far as known, of alternate +deserts and jungles, like the patches on a coverlet? Very well. I +conform to this general principle of the continent. I put half of the +canvas in desert, and the rest in jungle, and I can't be far out of the +way. Take the idea?" + +"Perfectly," said Matthew Maltboy; "but if you have nothing but +alternate, deserts and jungles, it strikes me your panorama will be a +little monotonous. Perhaps I am wrong." (Maltboy always offered +suggestions timidly.) + +"I have thought of that, and guarded against it. I shall fill the +jungles with animated life--elephants, lions, tigers, panthers, +leopards, rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses, giraffes, zebras, crocodiles, +boa constrictors, and other specimens of natural history indigenous to +that delightful region." + +"Good!" cried Overtop; "and if you will take a hint from me, you will +show your elephants in the act of being caught by natives, or engaged in +combats with each other; your lions fighting your tigers or your +rhinoceroses; your hippopotamuses engaged in death struggles with your +crocodiles; and your boa constrictors gobbling down your natives--or, if +that is objectionable on the score of humanity, your monkeys." + +"Thank you for the hint; but the expense, and the necessity of +completing the panorama at an early day, put it out of the question. To +paint accurate representations of these animals engaged in their +innocent sports, would occupy the time of a first-class artist for +months, and cost an enormous sum." + +"Ah, I see," interrupted Overtop, who liked to show that he snatched the +meaning; "you will put your animals in recumbent attitudes--sleeping, +perhaps, in the depth of jungles, shaded from the fierce rays of the +equatorial sun." + +"You have guessed it," said Tiffles, with a broad smile. "Most of them +will be just there--out of sight. The others will be suggested rather +than introduced. Elephants will be signified by their trunks appearing +above the tops of the dense undergrowth. Lions, tigers, and other +quadrupeds, by the tips of their tails. A boa constrictor will be +expressed by a head, a coil, and a bit of tail showing at intervals. The +one horn of the rhinoceros will always tell where _he_ is. I shall have +two small lakes (they are scarce in Africa) for my hippopotamuses and +crocodiles. If they exhibit only small portions of their heads above the +surface, that is not my fault. It is the nature of the beasts, +you know." + +"Ha! ha! That is what I call Art concealing Art," said Overtop. + +"So it is," returned Tiffles; "and it will be appreciated, I doubt not, +by those who affect the school of Severe Simplicity in painting." + +"One thing more," said Marcus Wilkeson. "Do you intend to take the +panorama through the country, and lecture on it?" + +"I do. And here let me say, that I read up the law of false pretences +long ago. I shall style myself Professor Wesley on the bills. That I +have a right to do, as my full name doesn't look well in type. Actors +and singers do the same thing every day. I shall call myself a great +traveller. This is strictly true. I have been North to Boston, West to +Detroit, and South to Baltimore. I shall not say that I have been in +Africa, or that the sketches were taken on the spot. If my audience +choose to infer _that_, that is their business. If any one doubts the +accuracy of my panorama, I can say triumphantly, 'Prove it!'" + +"Excellent, but a little risky," said Marcus Wilkeson, who could not +help admiring the audacity of the plan. "Your next great difficulty will +be to satisfy audiences after you have got them together, as I dare say +you will, by some brilliant system of advertising. I have heard--perhaps +you have--of audiences breaking furniture, smashing chandeliers, and +tarring and feathering people." + +"All that has been thought of," was the reply. "Before I leave the city, +I shall give a private exhibition of the panorama to a few ministers of +various denominations, in the lecture room of some up-town church. +Ministers, you know, are debarred by their profession from attending the +opera and theatres, and will catch at the chance to see a panorama for +nothing. In private life, they are capital people, as a class--I have +known several of them--and will willingly certify that the panorama is a +highly moral, instructive, and interesting exhibition. I think I can +rely on my persuasive powers for that much. These certificates I shall +print on my posters and handbills. They will draw moral audiences. Moral +audiences do not break furniture, &c., &c. Comprehend my line of +argument?" + +"Perfectly," said Marcus; "and very ingenious, _as_ an argument." + +"I thought you would like it. And now, to drop the subject, I want you +three fellows to come up to my rooms, No. 121, third floor, Bartholomew +Buildings, Broadway--you remember--and see this great work of art, early +next week." + +"Is it nearly finished?" asked Marcus. + +"Yes--in my mind's eye. That is the main thing. The painting has not yet +been begun. It will be a very simple matter. The canvas will be about +four hundred feet long. One half of it will be a dead level of yellow +paint, for desert; and the rest, perpendicular stripes of green paint, +for jungle. A good artist, with a whitewash brush and two tubsful of +paint, ought to do up the whole panorama in two days. The heads and +tails of animated life, the two small lakes, and a few other objects of +interest, such as the sun, the moon, birds flying in the air, &c., could +be put in afterward by an artist of higher grade. And, by the way, now I +think of it, I may as well open with a sunrise off Cape Guardafui, and a +distant view of the Straits of Babel Mandel, give a passing glance at +the sources of the Nile, which lie in that undiscovered region, a brief +glimpse at the Mountains of the Moon, and wind up with a splendid sunset +in the Bight of Benin. It--" + +Mr. Tiffles's observations were cut short by the sudden entrance of Miss +Philomela Wilkeson. She shot rapidly into the room, but, when her eyes +rested on Mr. Tiffles, she recoiled with maiden modesty, and stepped +back as if to beat a retreat. Then, recovering her self-possession in a +small measure, she stepped forward again, and said, in the blandest of +tones, with just the least virgin coyness: + +"I thought perhaps I had left my scissors here this afternoon." + +Messrs. Wilkeson, Overtop, and Maltboy asserted, without rising from +their seats, that they had not seen her scissors, and doubted very much +whether the scissors were in that room. But Wesley Tiffles, who was the +most polite and obliging of mortals when there was a lady in the case, +rose respectfully upon her entrance, and insisted upon searching the +apartment for the missing tool. + +Miss Wilkeson, thus being placed under obligations to Mr. Tiffles, was +compelled to take personal cognizance of him, which she did with the +nearest approach to a blush that she was ever known to make. "I beg, +sir, that you will not trouble yourself. I--I do not think the scissors +are here, after all." + +"That can be ascertained only by searching, miss," replied Tiffles. Then +he glided about the room in his own nimble fashion, looking behind the +two vases on the mantelpiece, raking over the littered burden of the +table in the corner, and peering and poking into every place where there +was the least likelihood of finding a stray pair of scissors; Miss +Wilkeson all the while deprecating any further search. + +Mr. Tiffles suddenly stopped, like a dragonfly in the midst of his +angular dartings, and said: "Since your scissors are not to be found, it +is fortunate that I have a pocket pair, which are always at your +service." Mr. Tiffles produced the ill-omened article, and handed it to +her. This called out a new lot of thanks, regrets for having troubled +him, apologies, and a peremptory refusal to take his scissors, +immediately followed by their acceptance, and a promise that she would +take the best care of them, and return them to the owner on his +next visit. + +Then was the auspicious moment for Miss Wilkeson to have retired with +dignity; but she stood at the door, twirling the fatal scissors in her +hand, and waiting either to say something which did not come +spontaneously, or to have something said to her. + +Marcus Wilkeson saw a subtle motive in this awkward tarrying at the +door, and, having no objection to gratifying it, he straightway +introduced Mr. Wesley Tiffles to Miss Philomela Wilkeson. Mr. Tiffles +put himself into the form of an L, like a professional acrobat; and Miss +Wilkeson executed a courtesy in the old, exploded style. Then, as if +appalled at what she had done, she backed into the entry as fast as she +had come from it. + +Mr. Tiffles, upon whom the small events of life made no impression, +thought no more of Miss Wilkeson that evening, but smoked three pipes, +told two funny stories, sang one comic song, and then went home, having +previously exacted from the three bachelors a promise to call at his +rooms and see at least one half of the panorama completed, on the +following day week. + +Since Miss Wilkeson had been an inmate of that house, she had seen +Wesley Tiffles perhaps a dozen times, in the entry or on the doorsteps, +and had been impressed with his gentlemanlike air, his quick black eyes, +and his deferential manner toward her. Everybody is supposed to have a +realized ideal somewhere, if he or she could only find it. Such was +Wesley Tiffles to Philomela Wilkeson. Let it be confessed at once. The +lost scissors were all the time quietly resting at the bottom of Miss +Wilkeson's workbag, and she knew it. The prevalent frailty of human +nature must be her excuse. + +She had-obtained not only an introduction to Wesley Tiffles, but a pair +of scissors which must be returned to him, and were therefore a bond of +friendship. But Miss Wilkeson forgot the fatality which the proverb +attaches to gifts or loans of that particular article of cutlery. + + + +BOOK FIFTH. + +MANOEUVRES. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +STOLEN--MOKE THAN A PURSE. + +One morning, as Marcus Wilkeson was idly turning the pages of a +blue-and-gold favorite, the doorbell rang. In accordance with some +mysterious law of acoustics, the sound was full three minutes descending +the kitchen staircase, entering the keyhole of the kitchen door, and +striking on the tympanum of Mash, the cook, who was sitting by the fire, +reading the twenty-fifth chapter of "The Buttery and the Boudoir: A Tale +of Real Life." When Mash became fully conscious (which was not till the +end of the chapter) that the bell had rung, she expelled a sigh from her +fat chest, and wiped the tears from her eyes with the end of her clean +apron, and then went to the door with a noble resignation to her lot. +There she found a stout elderly woman, bearing a note for "Marcus +Wilkeson, Esq." + +"Lor'! how slow you are!" said the stout woman, handing the letter to +her. + +Mash, who had read, in the twenty-third chapter, of the overwhelming way +in which the heroine cook had answered an insult by dignified silence, +said not a word in reply, but took the note, and slammed the door in the +stout woman's face. + +The exclamation "Bah!" and certain indistinct mutterings which were +audible through the panels, convinced Mash that, by her self-denial, she +had won a moral victory. It was with a feeling of excusable pride that +she walked into the back parlor, and delivered the note to +Marcus Wilkeson. + +"Thank you, Mash," said he. It was a singular illustration of his +excessive politeness, that he was no less grateful for paid services +than for free. + +Mash retired, thinking to herself that, if Mr. Wilkeson were only a +pirate, a smuggler, a guerilla chieftain, or a dashing fellow in some +unlawful, dangerous business, a few years younger, he would be a +perfect hero. + +Marcus did not recognize the handwriting of the address. Tearing open +the envelope, he read the following lines, hastily scrawled on a bit of +blue paper: + + Wednesday, A.M. + + MARCUS WILKESON, ESQ.: + + SIR: Please come over and see me immediately. I have + something important to communicate. + + Your obedient servant, + + ELIPHALET MINFORD." + +"Something must be wrong," said Marcus; and startling thoughts then +occurred to him. "Has her hard studying brought on illness? It can't be. +She was well enough last evening. What can be the matter?" + +Marcus Wilkeson's temperament was of that unfortunate nervous sort which +is thrown off its balance by the slightest shock. His frame trembled as +he put on his overcoat and hat; and, when he looked in the mirror, he +noticed that his face was paler than usual, and his eyes were glassy. +"Pooh! what a sensitive fool I am!" said he. + +He walked hurriedly to Mr. Minford's, and mounted the long, creaking +staircases, two steps at a time, tormenting himself all the way with +vague apprehensions of evil. + +When he entered the room, without knocking (as was his custom of late), +he found the inventor standing in front of his machine, with bare arms, +hard at work. Marcus nervously said, "Good morning," and stepped forward +to shake him by the hand, but stopped when he saw that Mr. Minford +averted his face, and did not move. + +"I wished to show you a letter which I received a few minutes ago," said +the inventor, still not facing Marcus, but busily filing off the rough +edge of a brass wheel fresh from the mould. "There it is, on the table." + +Marcus caught up the letter, and read the following: + + NEW YORK, Wednesday Forenoon. + + MR. MINFORD: + + RESPECTED SIR: Allow a true friend and well wisher to ask a + few questions. Who is this Mr. Marcus Wilkeson that has + suddenly taken such an interest in your family affairs? What + is his private history? Why is he relieving you from all + trouble and expense in the education of your beautiful child? + What are the man's _real_ motives? Would it not be well to + spare your eyes from your invention long enough to look into + these matters a little? Pardon the suggestion. The office of + a spy, and a secret accuser, is an unpleasant, and, perhaps, + a thankless one. I should never have assumed it, but for the + fact that your ardent devotion to science may render you the + easy dupe--and your daughter the innocent victim--of a + designing and heartless man of the world. I do not ask you to + believe the writer of an anonymous note, and therefore I make + no specific charges against this Wilkeson; but merely ask you + to inquire into his private character, and, above all, his + MOTIVES, for yourself. + + ONE OF MANY. + +Though Marcus Wilkeson was as innocent as a child, in deed and thought, +of the baseness hinted at in this letter, he felt that he was looking +guilty. Astonishment and indignation kindled in his eyes; but a flush of +shame mounted at the same time to his cheeks. Marcus had often said, +that if he were tapped on the shoulder in the street, and charged with a +petty theft, he would look guilty of grand larceny until he could regain +command of his feelings. This diseased sensitiveness, inherited from his +mother, was the curse of his physical and mental organization. + +His shame was increased by a consciousness that the inventor was +stealthily watching him, and studying the enlargement of those horrid +red spots on his cheeks. + +"When Marcus finished the letter, he put on an expression of outraged +innocence--which matched poorly with the flaming tokens of +guilt--and said: + +"These are infernal lies, sir; and, if I knew the coward who wrote them, +I would cram them down his throat." + +"Of course they are lies," returned Mr. Minford. "Every anonymous letter +writer is a liar--until it is proved that he tells the truth. I shall +believe none of these low aspersions on your honor, Mr. Wilkeson, +without conclusive evidence." As the inventor said this, not +emphatically, Marcus saw that he believed all that the letter had +insinuated. + +By this time, Marcus had got his constitutional devil a little under +control. There was something of real boldness and honesty in his eyes, +as he answered: + +"This is a distressing subject to talk or think of. But now that it has +been brought before us, I demand a full investigation. Go, wherever you +will, among those who know me, and inquire into my character. Recall +everything that has occurred between us since the beginning of our +acquaintance. Ask your daughter if I have ever spoken a word to her, or +cast a look at her, which could justify these infamous insinuations. +Thus much I ask of you, in justice to me." + +"And I refuse, sir," said the inventor. "I will not insult you by an +unworthy suspicion. The world is full of impertinent people, and we can +no more stop their gabble, than that of swallows in the air. This +nameless fellow signs himself 'One of Many,' That is probably a lie. But +if there were thousands like himself prying into your and my affairs, I +should not care. As for motives, none but fools and misanthropes trouble +themselves about _them_." + +The inventor tossed off the last sentence contemptuously. But Marcus +knew that he did attach a great importance to motives; although he could +not fairly be ranked either among the misanthropes or the fools. He +therefore replied: + +"The whole world is welcome to inquire into my motives. As I understand +them, they are: First, I take pleasure in your society, sir, because, +like myself, you are a quiet, thinking man. Second, you have a +hobby--your machine, there--and I admire people with hobbies. Third, I +am fond of children, and--and--your daughter is a very pleasant, +intelligent child. Fourth, you have insisted on selling me an interest +in your invention, in return for a small loan, and that fact would draw +me here, if nothing else did. These are motives enough to satisfy the +most inquisitive mind, I should think." + +Marcus said this with an attempt at a light laugh. But there was one +motive not yet confessed--a motive which could hardly be called a +motive, for it lay dim and half-formed within his brain. He had never, +in his moments of self-inquisition, acknowledged its existence to +himself. How could he, then, venture to disclose it to another? It was +the suppression of this immature motive, that brought back that look of +deceit and guilt to Marcus Wilkeson's ingenuous face. + +This unfortunate physiognomical revelation was not lost upon the keen +eyes of the inventor. But he said: + +"Mr. Wilkeson, let us not say another word on this ridiculous subject. I +am ashamed of myself for showing you the letter. I ought to have thrown +it into the fire." + +"There I differ with you, my dear sir," said Marcus. "You did perfectly +right, and I am glad that I have had the opportunity to define my +position here clearly, once and for all." Marcus could not avoid saying +this much in mere civility to the inventor, but he indulged the private +opinion that that gentleman should have burned the anonymous note. + +"Who can have written this scoundrelly thing?" continued Marcus, +turning over the letter, and then the envelope, for the twentieth time +each, and minutely examining them. + +The note was written on a half sheet of common letter paper. The +manufacturer's stamp in the corner had been cut off, and the size of the +half sheet further diminished by paring down one of the sides. The +writing was what is known as "backhanded," in strokes which appeared at +first sight to be of a uniform lightness. On inspecting it very closely, +Marcus discovered a tendency, in this backhanded penmanship, to ascend +from the line; and also that, in a few instances, the downward strokes +on certain long letters were a trifle thicker than on others. That the +writing was a man's, Marcus had no doubt, though he would have been +puzzled to give the reasons which led him to that conclusion. The +envelope was the ordinary prepaid-stamped one issued by the Government, +and therefore could not contribute to the identification of the +anonymous writer. The superscription was in the same backhand, and was +peculiar in nothing but a small curved nourish, like Hogarth's line of +beauty, beneath the words, "New York. City." + +"The rascal has carefully disguised his hand," said Marcus, "and does +not mean to be found out. I can say nothing more positive, than that it +is written by somebody who has never corresponded with me. My memory of +autographs happens to be pretty tenacious." + +"And I am positive that it is written by no acquaintance of mine, or of +my daughter's, for we have none--except you. As the case now stands, it +is a mystery, not worth the exploring." + +"Again I differ with you," said Marcus. "Whoever wrote this false +letter, has powerful motives of hostility to me or you, or, +perhaps--worse still--to your daughter. I must try to smoke him out of +his hiding place. Meanwhile, I trust, sir, you will see the propriety of +concealing this unpleasant matter from Miss Minford." + +"Certainly, Mr. Wilkeson, certainly. As for myself, it is forever +dismissed from my mind; and I cannot blame myself sufficiently for +having troubled you with it." Mr. Minford here proffered his hand, which +Marcus cordially shook, rejoicing to observe no trace of suspicion in +the inventor's clear gray eyes. + +"Allow me to retain this letter for the present," asked Marcus. "It may +serve as a clue to the detection of the concealed scoundrel. I also beg +that you will show me any other anonymous letters of the same character +that may reach you." + +Mr. Minford laughed. "The stove door is the pigeonhole where all such +nonsense ought to be filed away. But just as you please. If any more +come to hand, you shall see them. They may amuse you, as they do me. +Ha! ha!" + +Marcus echoed the laugh, but feebly. Then it occurred to him that Pet +would soon be home, and he felt a strange aversion to meeting her, after +what had happened. He therefore pleaded a pressing engagement at eleven +o'clock (which it then was), and took his departure from the inventor's +roof, but not without a warm and seemingly sincere invitation to +"call soon." + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CONSOLATIONS OF HIGH ART. + +Marcus walked slowly toward Broadway, musing and unhappy. To a man of +his delicate and hyper-sensitive nature, an event of this kind was a +vast disturbance. He felt that this anonymous letter was but the +forerunner of a long series of troubles. That prescience which nervous +people have of misfortunes portrayed to him a future black with +disappointments and dangers. + +"Hallo, Mark! What's the matter? You look as sad as a low comedian by +daylight!" Previous to this salutation came a ringing slap on the +left shoulder. + +Marcus rather liked familiarities; but the slap, coming on him when his +nerves were unstrung, startled him. He turned sharply; but the stern +and indignant face wreathed into amiable smiles, when he saw that the +lively gentleman behind him was only Wesley Tiffles. Everybody liked +Wesley Tiffles; even those who bore the burden of his unlucky financial +schemes uniting in cheerful testimony to his charming, companionable +qualities. His presence was like a ray of sunlight to Marcus Wilkeson's +beclouded mind; and when Wesley Tiffles hooked an arm in his (as he did +to everybody on the second day of their acquaintance), Marcus felt his +perplexities passing away from him, like electricity on a +conducting rod. + +Wesley Tiffles and his single diamond (the latter from the background of +a third day's shirt) shone on him together; and Marcus laughed +merrily in reply: + +"I don't look sad now," said he. "I'm glad to see you, Tiffles. What are +you driving at _now_, eh?" + +This question was continually poked at Tiffles. He changed his business +so often. + +"At the panorama of Africa, to be sure," said Tiffles. "It is a great +idea, and I am constant to it, although several capital schemes have +occurred to me since I first thought of it. But Africa deserves, and +shall have the precedence." + +"Oh! yes--I remember. And how far have you got along with this great +work?" + +"It's almost finished, thank you. Patching is the artist. You know +Patching, of course--one of the most promising painters of the modern +school. There were several Patchings very much praised by the Sunday +papers, at the last National Academy Exhibition, though the hanging +committee put them either among the dirt or the cobwebs. This conspiracy +against Patching is far-reaching. It would seem as if his rivals of the +Academy actually went about town calling upon people, and cautioning +them _not_ to buy Patchings. Indeed, to such an extent has this +outrageous attempt to put down a fellow artist been carried, that I know +of but one Patching to be publicly seen in the city. It is an attic +interior--a sweet thing, quite equal to Frere, and hangs behind a bar +near Spring street. Perhaps you would like to examine it?" + +"Hem! Not to-day. Some other time," answered Marcus, who, strangely +enough, interpreted the question as an invitation to drink at his +(Marcus's) expense. + +"I did not mean to-day," said Wesley Tiffles. "Any time will do. Well, I +have engaged this brilliant but neglected creature to paint my panorama. +At first he refused--as I expected. He said that it would hurt his +reputation. I argued to him, that, the larger the picture, the more the +reputation; and said that I would put his name on the bills in type +second only to my own. But he could not bring himself to see the matter +as I did, and consented to paint it only on condition of profound +secrecy. Price, one hundred dollars. You will therefore understand +(Tiffles lowered his voice) that what I am saying to you is strictly +confidential--as, indeed, all is that I say about my panorama. Secrecy +alone gives value to these grand, original ideas." + +Wesley Tiffles was always unbosoming himself to the world, and informing +each individual hearer that his disclosure was strictly confidential. + +"I give you my word," said Marcus. He wondered where Tiffles raised the +money to pay the artist, but did not like to ask him. + +"Now I have caught you, you must come and see how we get along. The work +is going on at my room in the Bartholomew Buildings, only a few steps +from here." (According to Tiffles, the Bartholomew Buildings were only a +few steps from anywhere, when he wanted to take anybody to them.) +"Patching will object to bringing in a stranger; but I can pass you off +as a capitalist, who thinks of taking an interest in the panorama. Good +joke, that!" + +Marcus drew back a little at the joke; but Wesley Tiffles had proved so +great a relief to his low spirits, that he determined to keep on taking +him, and expressed his ardent desire to see the panorama. + +The couple, arm in arm, sauntered into Broadway, and down that +thoroughfare. Tiffles nodded to a great many acquaintances, and Wilkeson +to a very few. People whom Tiffles did not know personally, he had short +biographies of, and he entertained Marcus with an incessant string of +anecdotes and memoranda of passers by. The walk was leisurely and +uninterrupted, with two exceptions, when Wesley Tiffles broke suddenly +from his companion, rushed into the entry of a photographic +establishment, and examined numerous square feet of show portraits with +profound interest. Marcus explained these impulsive movements on the +supposition that Tiffles sought to escape from approaching duns. He +noticed that that individual, while observing people who streamed by him +on either side, kept one eye, as it were, about a block and a half +ahead. In some parts of the world, Marcus might have objected to walking +publicly with a man of such an eccentric demeanor. But he was well aware +that, in New York, a citizen's reputation is not in the least degree +affected by the company that he keeps. + +They soon arrived at the Bartholomew Buildings--a rickety five-story +edifice, which had been altered from a hotel to a nest of private +offices. The basement was a restaurant, the first floor a dry goods +store, and thence to the roof there was a small Babel of trades and +professions known and unknown. No census taker had ever booked all the +businesses and all the names under that comprehensive roof. + +In the upper story of this building, at the end of a long, hall, the +floor of which was hollowed in places by the feet of half a century, was +the room, or office, as he called it, of Mr. Wesley Tiffles. There was +no number, or sign, on the door, but only a card bearing the +inscription, in a bold hand, "Back in five minutes." Mr. Tiffles always +put out this standing announcement whenever he had occasion to absent +himself from his office for an indefinite period. At the top of the door +there was a swinging window, which was ever close fastened, and covered +with four thicknesses of newspapers. Though door and window were shut, +there came from this room, as if through pores of the wood and the +glass, a strong odor of tobacco smoke. A voice within could be heard +softly humming an operatic air. + +Wesley Tiffles opened the door with a latch key, saying, "All right!" in +a loud voice, as he did so. Marcus entered with him into a blue cloud of +smoke heated to a sickly degree by a small coal stove with a prodigious +quantity of pipe. Even Marcus's hardened lungs found it difficult +to breathe. + +The room was about twenty feet square. It had been a part of the laundry +when the building was a hotel. The walls, from the floor to the low +ceiling, appeared to be hung with a strange, dim tapestry. A second +glance convinced Marcus Wilkeson that this seeming tapestry was the +panorama, which was fastened on stretchers along three sides of the +room, and rolled up in a corner as fast as completed. At the farther end +of the room, barely visible through the smoke, was the figure of a man +in a torn and dirty dressing gown, and an enormous black felt hat with a +huge turn-up brim, of the kind supposed to be worn by the bandits of the +Pyrenees. The back of the man was turned to Marcus Wilkeson, and he was +making rapid dabs on the canvas with a long brush, frequently dipping +into one of a series of pails or pans which stood on the floor by his +side. He was smoking and humming the operatic air at the same time; and +he pulled his great slouched hat farther over his eyes, as a signal for +impertinent curiosity to keep its distance. + +Wesley Tiffles whispered something about the eccentricities of genius, +and then said: + +"Mr. Patching. Allow me. Mr. Wilkeson. A capitalist, who thinks of +taking a small interest in the panorama. Confidential, of course." + +The artist turned round during these remarks, and presented the original +of a portrait which Marcus remembered to have seen--dressing gown, hat, +and all--in a small print-shop window in the Sixth Avenue. Touching the +face he might have had doubt, but there was no mistaking the pattern of +the dressing gown and the amazing hat. He also had a faint recollection +of the thin face, the Vandyke beard, and the long, tangled hair at Mrs. +Slapman's, on New Year's, but was not positive as to their identity. Mr. +Patching's individuality lay chiefly in his hat. + +The artist placed a moist hand, with one long finger nail like a claw, +at the disposal of Marcus Wilkeson. The latter gentleman shook the +member feebly, and distinctly felt the sharp edge of the long finger +nail in his palm. It was an unpleasant sensation. + +"Happy to meet a _confidential_ friend of Tiffles's," said Patching. +"Painting panoramas is not exactly what I have been used to. An artist's +reputation is his capital in trade, you know." He spoke slowly and +languidly, as if hope and happiness were quite dead within him, and he +had consented to live on only for the good of high Art. + +"I understand," said Marcus. "The secret shall be inviolate." + +"Nothing but my old friendship for Tiffles here could possibly have +induced me to undertake the job. My enemies--and I have them, ha! ha!" +(he said this bitterly)--"would like nothing better to say of Patching, +than that he had got down to the panorama line of business. It would be +a pretty piece of scandal." + +"My lips are sealed, sir. But it strikes me, as a casual observer, that +there is nothing to be ashamed of in this beautiful work of art." Marcus +Wilkeson had the amiable vice of flattery. + +Patching shrugged his shoulders, and made a contemptuous gesture toward +the canvas with his outstretched brush. "A mere daub," said he. "One +step higher than painting a barn or a board fence--that's all." + +"Yet the true artist adorns what he touches," said Marcus. + +Patching accepted the homage calmly, as one who knew that he deserved +it. "A very just and discriminating remark, sir. I have no doubt that a +person thoroughly familiar with my style would say, looking at this +panorama, 'It has the severe simplicity of a Patching.' I consented to +paint it, as Tiffles well remembers, only on condition that I should not +wholly abase myself by abandoning the style upon which I have built up +my reputation." + +Tiffles, thus appealed to, corroborated the statement with a solemn bow. + +The artist continued: "Fortunately, the subject is one peculiarly +adapted to my genius. For instance: the desert of Sahara is a dead level +of sand. It is a perfect type of severe simplicity in the highest sense. +It exhibits no common display of gorgeous colors, such as poor artists +and the ignorant crowd rejoice in. As far as the eye can see, there is a +serene stretch of yellow sand, without even a blade of grass to break +its awful immensity." (The artist, being on his favorite theme, took his +pipe out of his mouth for the first time, and spoke with warmth.) "Look +at that bit of desert, now. Does it not convey a perfect idea of +solitude and desolation?" + +Marcus Wilkeson glanced at about ten feet of straight yellow paint +(which was all of the desert of Sahara not rolled up in the canvas), and +said that it did--which was perfectly true. + +"There are one hundred feet more, which you don't see, just like it. +Another artist would have put in an oasis, or a stray hyena, or the +bleached bones of an unfortunate traveller. _I_ did not. Why? Another +would have worked up a sunset, or a moonrise, or a thunder storm, to +give variety to the sky. _I_ did not. Why? The sky over my desert is an +uninterrupted blue. There is not even a bird in it. There is nothing, in +short, either on the ground or in the air, to take away the mind of the +spectator, for one moment, from the sublime idea of a desert--an object +which, considered aesthetically, is one of the grandest in the universe. +This is severe simplicity. It is the highest school of Art." + +"And the cheapest," observed Tiffles; "which is an important +consideration when you have an acre or two of canvas to paint. It would +cost a deal more to put in the sun and moon, travelling caravans, and +other objects of interest, here and there." + +"Incidentally it may be the cheapest," said Patching. "But that is a +question for capitalists, and not for artists to determine. True Art +never thinks of the expense." + +"It always seemed to me to be the easiest school of Art," said Marcus +Wilkeson. "I suppose, now, that you can dash off twenty or thirty rods +of this a day." + +Patching smiled with a lofty pity. "So I can. Not because it is the +easiest, though--far from it; but because I happen to have a genius for +quick and sure touches. You, not being a professional artist, think the +execution of that scrap of desert and sky an easy matter. Perhaps you +fancy that you could do it." There was the least infusion of satire in +the artist's tone. + +"Oh, no!" replied Marcus Wilkeson, who ever shrank from wounding the +self-love of a fellow creature. "I am not rash enough to suppose that I +could do it. I merely observed that it seemed--to my inexperienced +eyes--an easy matter. A few strokes of yellow paint here, for sand, and +a few strokes of blue paint there, for sky. But I am not even an +amateur, and so my opinion goes for nothing." + +"I admire your frankness," said Patching. "Now let me convince you +practically. Be good enough to stand near this window with me." + +Marcus moved to the spot indicated by the artist. + +"Here," said Patching, "you are at about the same distance from the +desert as the front row of spectators will be. Now look at it +critically." + +Marcus shaded his eyes with his left hand, cocked his head over his +right shoulder, in the true critical style, and gazed on the scene. + +"Do you see the harmony--the TONE, I may say--in the desert?" asked +Patching, after a short pause. + +"I think I do," responded Marcus, willing to oblige the artist. + +"And the spiritual, or INNER meaning of the sky?" + +"Ye-yes. It is quite perceptible." + +"These are the effects of severe simplicity. But you must understand +that a single mis-stroke of the brush would have spoiled all the harmony +in the desert, or reduced the sky to a mere inexpressive field of blue +vapor. Why? Genius alone can achieve such grand results by such +apparently simple means. You comprehend?" + +"Perfectly," said Marcus Wilkeson. + +"Then I shall take a real pleasure in showing you more of the panorama +which is already completed and rolled up. With this idea of severe +simplicity in your mind, you will be prepared to appreciate the work," + +"I believe I have already remarked, that Mr. Wilkeson is a capitalist, +and comes here expressly to look at the panorama," said Tiffles; with a +wink at the artist. + +"With every respect for him as a capitalist," returned Patching, "I see +in him only the ingenuous student of Art, whom it is a happiness +to teach." + +The first instalment was a continuation of the desert with which Marcus +had been already regaled. Patching begged him to observe the unfaltering +harmony of the sand, and the protracted spirituality of the sky. Then +came a jungle. + +"You will note the severe simplicity here," observed Patching, "No +meretricious effects. Nothing but strokes of green paint, up and down, +representing the density of an African jungle. Yet how admirably these +seemingly careless strokes, laid on by the hand of genius, convey the +idea of DEPTH! You do not fail to notice the DEPTH, I presume?" + +"I see it," said Marcus. + +"_That_ is severe simplicity," replied the artist. + +At this point, Marcus noticed a brown something bearing a strong +resemblance to the swamp stalk, known among boys as the cattail. "Excuse +my ignorance of African plants," said he; "but what is that?" + +The artist smiled. "Another happy illustration of my theory," said he. +"It is the tail of a lion bounding through his native jungles. Why? The +effect of suggesting the lion, so to speak, is much more thrilling than +that of painting him at full length. Genius accomplishes by hints what +mere talent fails to achieve by the utmost elaboration. You will not +deny that that vague revelation of the lion's tail inspires a feeling of +mystery and terror, which would not be caused by a full-length portrait +of that king of beasts?" + +Marcus Wilkeson did not deny it, but said that perhaps everybody could +not identify the object as a lion's tail. + +"That has all been thought of," said Tiffles. "I shall explain the +panorama, you must understand. When I come to the lion's tail, I shall +tell the audience what it is, and go on to give a full account of the +lion, and his ferocious habits. This will gratify the women and small +boys quite as much as seeing the lion _in propria persona_." + +"Precisely. Very good," was the laughing acknowledgment. "And what is +that thing, twisted like a piece of grapevine above the tall grass at +this point?" + +"The trunk of an elephant. Look a little farther on, as the canvas +unrolls, and you will observe the white tusk of a rhinoceros protruding +from the jungle with wonderful effect. Why? The two animals are +advancing toward each other for mortal combat." + +"I shall describe their terrific struggles," interrupted Tiffles. "Have +read up Buffon for it." + +"More lions' and elephants' tails, you observe," continued the artist; +"also more rhinoceroses' tusks. It is well to have enough of them, to +illustrate the teeming life of the African jungle. Also the head of a +boa constrictor. Likewise the tail of one. Here we come to a change of +scene. Mark how wonderfully a few strokes of dark-green paint, put on by +the hand of genius, impart the idea of a pestiferous swamp. That +odd-looking object, like a rock, is the head of a hippopotamus. A few +feet beyond, you notice two things like the stumps of aquatic weeds. +Those are the tails of two hippopotamuses engaged in deadly strife at +the bottom of the swamp. The heads of crocodiles are thrust up here and +there. Severe simplicity again." + +The panorama, from thence nearly to the end of it--or rather the +beginning--was a repetition of jungles and deserts, varied by an +occasional swamp, all diversified with the heads and tails of indigenous +animals. The last hundred feet was the river Gambier, over which +Patching had introduced a sunrise of the most gorgeous description, at +the earnest request of Wesley Tiffles. + +Patching explained: "In my opinion, such effects are tawdry, and detract +not only from the severe simplicity, but from the UNITY which should +pervade a painting of this description. Of course, I wash my hands of +all these innovations upon the province of high Art." + +"And I cheerfully shoulder them," said Tiffles. "I know what the public +want. They want any quantity of sunsets, crocodiles, lions, and other +objects of interest. If we had time and money to spare, and I could +overcome Patching's scruples--do you understand?--I would put 'em in +twice as thick. Men of genius, like Patching, cannot be expected to be +practical." + +The artist shrugged his shoulders, and smiled. + +Tiffles then repeated his invitation to Marcus to accompany him on his +first expedition into the interior of New Jersey; but Marcus positively +declined. Tiffles said he would send him a note a day or two before the +panorama started, and hoped that Marcus would conclude to go, just for +the fun of the thing. + +Marcus then shook hands with Patching--who made his long finger nail +amicably felt--and with Tiffles, and withdrew to the entry, followed by +the latter individual. + +Tiffles closed the door. "By the way," said he, as if the thought +occurred to him then for the first time, "can you spare thirty-five +dollars to-day? Pay you on the--let me see--on the first of next month. +By that time the panorama will be fairly under headway, and coining +money." (Tiffles always fixed his days of payment with great +particularity.) + +Marcus, without saying a word, produced his pocket book, and counted out +thirty-five dollars. Tiffles had already borrowed from Overtop and +Maltboy, but had generously spared the oldest of the three bachelors. +Marcus felt that his time had come, and he would not meanly avoid his +destiny. He placed the money in Tiffles's hand. + +"Give you my note?" asked Tiffles. + +"Oh, no!" said Marcus; "make it a matter of honor." + +Tiffles pocketed the funds, placed his hand over his heart, and replied +that it should be. "But, now I think of it," he suddenly added, "I want +exactly sixty-three dollars--do you understand?--to see me through with +this panorama. Suppose you make it twenty-eight dollars more." + +Marcus smiled, and said that he didn't understand; whereat Tiffles +laughed outright, to show that he took no offence at the refusal; and +creditor and debtor parted with mutual good wishes. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +LOVING AFAR OFF. + +The boy Bog had now become, professionally, a creature of the night. He +was abroad at the, same hours as the burglars and garroters, and other +owls and weasels of society. Fink & Co. (Bog was the Co.) had secured +the bill posting for three theatres and one negro-minstrel hall. This +they called their heavy business. Carrying the huge damp placards, had +already given to Bog's shoulders a manifest tendency to roundness, which +he was constantly trying to overcome by straightening up. Fink, who was +the veteran bill poster of the town, was as round shouldered as a hod +carrier. But Bog thought of somebody, and stood as nearly erect as +he could. + +The firm also obtained rather more than their share of ordinary bill +posting, from doctors, drygoods dealers, and other people who find their +profit in continually addressing the public from the summit of a dead +wall, or the muddy level of the curbstones. This they called their light +business. As it required neither strength nor practised dexterity of +manipulation, the firm intrusted it to assistants. + +There were a dozen of these, all stout, hulking young fellows nearly as +old as Bog. They took a fancy to bill posting, and worked industriously +and faithfully at it, because it was nocturnal, mysterious, romantic. +The half dollar which they each received for a night's labor, enabled +them to lounge about the streets all day in glorious indolence. +Sometimes there was a prodigious rush of business, and then the firm +were obliged to hire an extra force of boys. + +Once, when a quack undertook to take the public by storm with his "New +and Sure Cure for Dyspepsia," Fink & Co. put a colored poster as large +as a dining table on every wall and high fence below Sixty-first street; +small oblong bills every ten feet along the curbstones of Broadway, +Bowery, Wall street, Fulton street, Cortlandt street, and Third, Fourth, +Fifth, Sixth, Eighth, Madison, and Lexington Avenues; besides throwing +cheap circulars, folded, into the front yards of about four thousand +residences in the fashionable quarters of the town--all in a single +night. This immense job took one hundred boys. + +Bog had been in this partnership since the first of January. It was now +near the close of March. The firm had been very successful. Bog had +comfortably supported himself and his aunt (whose rheumatism got worse +in steady proportion as his business improved), and had invested more +than two hundred and fifty dollars in a Wall-street savings bank. + +With this money at his disposal, Bog might have thrown away the greasy +cap and old coat and trowsers, spotted with paste, in which he pursued +his occupation. But when Bog was at his business, he was not above his +business. And he felt none the less attached to his old clothes because +they were two inches too short in the legs and arms, and pinched him a +little in all directions. + +But Bog had a better suit, made of neat gray cloth, which he wore upon +occasions. These occasions happened daily between three and four P.M. +During that interval, it always fell out that Bog had no work to do +which he could not postpone as well as not. And whether it rained or +shone, the occasions brought him, like an inexorable fate, through the +street where Miss Pillbody's school was situated. He would first stride +smartly up the opposite sidewalk, whistling, and cast ardent glances at +the lower windows of Miss Pillbody's school, shaded by green curtains +with gold borders. + +After going two blocks in that direction, he would cross the street, +whistling yet, and march boldly up the other sidewalk, past Miss +Pillbody's school, as on an enemy. But if there had been anybody to +watch him closely--as there was not on that thronged street--that body +would have seen that Bog's cheeks began to blush, and his eyes to be +cast down, and his whistle to be fainter, as he hurried by the neat +three-story brick building with the polished doorplate and +handsome curtains. + +Then he would loiter for a while in front of McFeeter's grocery, two +corners remote, and gaze from that safe distance with intrepidity upon +the abode of enchantment; after which he would screw his courage up to +the point of marching past the house back and forth again, and would +then resume his position at McFeeter's, and wait until four P.M., or +about that time, when the envied door of Miss Pillbody's establishment +would open, and an angel would dazzle upon his sight, with a music book +in her hand instead of a harp, and a jaunty little chip bonnet on her +head instead of a golden crown. If the harp and crown had suddenly taken +their proper places, and a pair of spangled wings had blossomed right +out of her shoulders, and the radiant creature, thus equipped, had +spread her pinions and soared up to heaven, the boy Bog would hardly +have been surprised. As this angel came down the happy front steps to +the blessed pavement (Bog's mind supplying these adjectives), Bog would +color up, and sneak off at his best walking pace in the opposite +direction. He felt that, if Pet ever saw him, and should ask him what he +was doing in that neighborhood, he should melt away in perspiring +confusion on the spot. + +He called at Mr. Minford's twice a week, to indulge in the hollow form +of asking if he could do anything for him. There he confronted Pet, with +that trembling figure and those averted eyes which an inexperienced +thief may show before the man that he has robbed. But Pet knew not of +the adoring spy. + +One afternoon, the boy Bog had made his second detour, and was +approaching the corner of the favored block, when a novel idea struck +him. The very night before, Bog had posted bills of the play, "Faint +Heart Ne'er Won Fair Lady." The gigantic lettering arose in his mind's +eye, like the cross in Constantine's. He had never seen the drama, and +he did not know to what extent Ruy Gomez pushed his audacity, and won +the Countess by it. But the name of the drama held the moral of it; and +the moral, as applied to Bog's case, was: "Stop at this corner, and take +a good view of the, house." To do this, in Bog's opinion, was the height +of boldness. But he thought of the huge parti-colored lettering, and +he did it. + +He stopped at the corner, and leaned recklessly against a hydrant. He +looked at the house with a deliberation that amazed himself. At the same +time, as a matter of instinctive caution, he kept his left leg well out +toward the side street, so that he might retreat, should the door +suddenly open and disclose the seraphic vision. He consulted his large +bull's-eye silver watch (a capital timekeeper), and found that it was +half past three o'clock, and he never knew her to be out before four. + +This reflection emboldened him. "Faint Heart Ne'er Won Fair Lady," he +thought again, and brought back his left leg to an easy position, +crossing it with his right one against the hydrant. Then he feasted, +with strange composure, upon the house. + +Neither Bog nor a much wiser metaphysician could explain it; but the +house, and all around it, seemed to be glorified by the loved one +within. The newly painted door was bright with love; the polished +doorplate and bell handle glistened with love. The name Pillbody looked, +somehow, musical and winning, because the owner of that name was the +teacher and dear companion of Pet. The carved stone roses over the door +seemed to be truly the emblems of love. It was a silly notion; but, in +Bog's eyes, love imparted a not unpleasant expression to the grim lions' +faces that looked down from the roof. But the green window curtains with +gold borders were the most significant symbols of love, in his eyes. Bog +felt that curtains of any other color would be wholly out of place in +that house. The patch of a garden, scarcely bigger than a bathroom, in +front of the house; the single fir tree that grew up in the middle of +it; the black iron railing; the door steps, and the pavement--all took +their share of beatitude from the joy within. Bog could hear love rustle +in the boughs of the young maple, that stood in its long green case like +a fancy boot top, at the edge of the sidewalk. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +LEGERDEMAIN. + +As Bog was resting against the hydrant, absorbed in this delicious +revery, and totally indifferent to the consequences, he was startled by +a slight tap on the shoulder. He turned quickly, and saw--the man he +hated--the man who pretended (Bog would never admit that it was more +than a pretence) to save Pet from the falling boards. + +"Well," said Bog, looking on this man as his mortal enemy, "What do you +want of me?" He spoke in the gruff, defiant manner peculiar to children +of the city. + +The man's livid face and lead-colored eyes and white teeth all combined +in a reassuring smile. "Nothing," said he, "my good fellow, but to do +an errand." + +"I say, now, who'd you take me for, hey?" answered Bog, shaking his head +at the man, and feeling a tremendous desire to knock his shining +hat off. + +The man looked up and down Bog's cheap gray suit, and at his neatly +polished shoes and his clean slouching cap, and then said: + +"No offence meant, my lad. But I thought you wouldn't object to earning +a quarter. You're only to deliver a letter at that house; that's all." +He pointed to Miss Pillbody's. + +"Hey--what house?" asked Bog, turning pale, with a strange and jarring +combination of rage, jealousy, envy, and insulted dignity. + +"The one with the bright doorplate, green curtains and gold borders. I +thought you were looking at it as I came up." + +"N-no, I wasn't. And what if I was, hey?" + +"It strikes me you're rather touchy, my young friend," said the man, +with his conciliatory smile. "Here's the letter, now, and a quarter. +It's only a few steps. No answer required." + +As Bog caught sight of the letter, done up in the long, rakish envelope +which had just begun to come into fashion, and faintly perfumed, a lucky +thought occurred to him. + +The man saw that he wavered. "Only a step," said he. "And here is the +quarter." He offered it to Bog between a thumb and finger. + +"Why don't you deliver the letter yourself?" asked Bog. + +"Oh! oh! for family reasons," answered the man, hesitating. "Miss +Pillbody there is my aunt, and the lady to whom this letter is addressed +is my cousin. The old woman and I have had a sort of falling out about +the young one, you see. These little difficulties will occur in the +best-regulated families. Come, take the letter. I'm in a hurry." + +Bog allowed the letter to be thrust into his hand. He looked at it, and +saw, as he expected, that it was addressed to "Miss Minford, Present." +The direction was in a beautiful commercial hand, which was at once +more hateful in his eyes than the most crabbed of writing. + +"All right," said he. "I'll deliver it. Poh! never mind the quarter. I +won't take it." Bog moved toward the house as he spoke. + +"You're a queer fellow, but a good one. Well, you'll accept my thanks, +at any rate." + +He waited at the hydrant until Bog had delivered the letter. + +Bog walked straight to the house, and up the steps, although his face +was pale, and his knees trembled. + +He rang the bell with a decisive pull, and, as he did so, glanced at the +strange man, who nodded approvingly at him. + +He suddenly turned his back on the strange man. With a quick movement of +the fingers of his right hand, he thrust the letter up his coat sleeve: +The next instant he whipped a handkerchief out of an inside breast +pocket, and, with it, a stray copy of a new "Dentifrice" circular, which +he had been distributing the night before. This circular was folded to +about the size and shape of the letter. With the handkerchief he wiped +his face, upon which there were real drops of sweat. The circular he +slipped into his right hand, and then turned toward the strange man +again, to show that he still held the letter. This bit of legerdemain +took about three seconds. + +In three seconds more, Bog heard footsteps approaching in the entry. +What if his angel should come to the door? The thought sent a horrible, +sickly sensation all over him, and the solid rock seemed to tremble +beneath his feet. + +The door opened, and something quite the opposite of an angel presented +itself. It was Bridget; and her red hair was dishevelled, her face +flushed to the parboiled tint, and her dress uncommonly damp and frowsy. +A mop which she held in her hand explained everything. + +"A circular, if you please," said Bog, in a quivering voice, poking the +folded paper at her. + +"A succular, is it? Miss Peelbody told me not to take any succulars for +her. So 'way wid ye." Bridget put her hand on the door, and was about to +swing it to. + +"It isn't for Miss Pillbody at all," said Bog, fearful lest the strange +man should see it refused, "but for your own pretty self." + +Bridget smiled, for she was conscious that the compliment was deserved. +She relaxed her hand on the door. "Fat is it?" said she. + +"Hush!" said Bog, in a whisper; "a circular about the rights of +servants, issued by the 'Servants' Mootual Protecting Society.'" (Bog +thought of the name on the spur of the moment.) "Please take it--quick." + +Bridget snatched the circular out of his hand, and was about to look at +it, bottom side up, for she had not yet attained to the mystery of +reading, when the musical voice of Miss Pillbody was heard at the back +of the entry. "Bridget--what is wanted, Bridget?" + +"Nothing ma'am, but one of these succular men. Bad luck to him! Here, +now, take it." + +She made a feint of handing back the circular to Bog, but concealed it, +with the other hand, in her capacious bosom. + +"Heaven bless ye!" said she, in a low voice, and then slammed the door +in his face. + +Bog came down the door steps quickly, and saw the strange man make a bow +and a gesture of gratitude at him, and then disappear suddenly round the +corner. Bog's first impulse was to follow him at a distance; but his +curiosity to inspect the slender, perfumed letter, overcame it. + +When Bog reached the awning in front of McFeeter's store--a sort of +haven or putting-in place for him--he pulled out the letter, and was +about to read it. Then it occurred to him that the situation was too +much exposed. The strange man might come back, and see him with the open +letter in his hand. Bog would have enjoyed a personal collision with him +on any pretext; but to be caught in the act of reading the letter, would +spoil the strategical advantage that Bog now had over him. + +Bog moved on down a side street, and took his stand behind a huge +wooden column surmounted by a gilded mortar and pestle. Here he was +about to rip open the envelope, but a glance across the street +discovered a policeman looking at him. Bog felt guilty and awkward. He +coughed, and thrust the letter into his pocket, and moved on again. The +exciting events of the morning had made Bog intensely nervous. He did +not stop this time until he had gained his home. + +His aunt was sitting in the front room, reading a book through a huge +pair of silver-rimmed spectacles. There was a thick fold of flannel +about her neck, and she smelt strongly of embrocation. As Bog rushed +into the room, she groaned audibly, and laid down the book, as if it +were a wicked enjoyment. + +"I'm so bad to-day, Bog," said she. "Them shootin' pains'll be the death +of me." + +Bog responded not a word, but dashed across the apartment, and, entering +his little sleeping room, closed the door, and bolted it. + +"Unfeelin' creetur!" said his aunt. She stopped groaning, and took up +her book and read again. + +Bog seated himself on his hair trunk, and drew out the letter. There was +a slight discussion within him on the abstract question of his right to +open it. After turning it over twice, the question was decided in the +affirmative. He slit the envelope with his thumb, and brought to light a +billet faultlessly written, as follows: + +"Frederick Lynville begs to present his compliments to Miss Minford, and +to assure her, from the depths of his heart, that his feelings toward +her are only those of the purest admiration for the matchless charms of +her mind and person. He takes this method of explaining himself, because +he has observed with great sorrow that Miss Minford has shown a desire +to avoid him on several recent occasions, when they have accidentally +met in the street. It was Mr. Lynville's blessed privilege, under +Providence, to save Miss Minford's life; but he would not be selfish and +base enough on that account to obtrude himself on Miss Minford's notice. +Mr. Lynville would die sooner than be guilty of that discourtesy. He is +not presumptuous enough to ask an answer to this letter. His only object +in writing it, is to inform Miss Minford that he will not venture again +upon the impropriety of speaking to her first when they next meet. Miss +Minford will therefore be free to drop his acquaintance, or continue it, +as she thinks best. Whatever fate she may decide for him, her happiness +will still be his constant prayer." + + * * * * * + +Bog was ill versed in the art of complimentary letter writing. But the +villany here seemed to be clumsily concealed. That the letter was full +of danger to the object of his boyish idolatry, he had no doubt. + +But why did Pet avoid this Frederick Lynville? Did she really dislike +him? Or----. The thought of his own shyness toward the beautiful girl +came into his mind like a flash. To avoid might be--to love. + +The poor boy dropped the letter, and covered his face with his hands, +and wept. + +Love is not always selfish; and goodness is sometimes its own reward. In +that bitter hour of his first real misery, Bog did not regret his +kindness to the Minfords, or take credit to himself for having nobly +concealed from their knowledge those little weekly gifts of money which +he sent to them through the mail, when they were in poorer +circumstances. He was not for a moment base enough to think that Pet +would look with kinder eyes on him, if she but knew of his secret +benefactions--which, up to this time, neither she nor her father had +suspected, and which they would never learn from his lips. + + + +BOOK SIXTH. + +MYSTERIES OF THE NIGHT. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE UNKNOWN HAND. + +Marcus Wilkeson made no effort to discover the writer of the anonymous +letter, because he knew that such an effort would be in vain. He called +on Mr. Minford once in two or three days now. The inventor always took +occasion to refer to the letter, and assured Marcus that it was not +worth remembering, or talking about. "Why, then, did he talk about it?" +Marcus asked himself. His eyes were not blind to watchful and suspicious +glances which the old man directed to him, at times, under cover of +those shaggy, overhanging eyebrows. Nor could he help noticing a strange +reserve in the bearing of Pet toward him. It was not mere modesty, or +timid gratitude, but DOUBT, as he read the signs. Marcus was convinced +that the father had put his child on guard against something, though he +might not have mentioned the existence of the anonymous letter. This +thought distressed him acutely. + +But his troubles, as well as his joys, he kept to himself. The miser +puts his broken bank notes and his good gold under the same lock +and key. + +One evening, early in April, Overtop and Maltboy observed a peculiar +expression of sadness on the face of their friend. He had eaten nothing +at dinner, but had drunk more than his usual allowance of sherry. He had +kept his eyes fixed on the table as in a revery, and had scarcely spoken +a word. Miss Wilkeson, in her solemn state opposite the boiled chickens, +was hardly less social. + +After dinner, Marcus took to his pipe with a strange sullenness, and +smoked furiously. His two friends, closely regarding him, saw that he +was unhappy, but wisely forbore to make him more unhappy still by +obtruding their condolence on him. The day had been rainy and cold. They +knew that Marcus's spirits were barometrically sensitive to the weather, +like those of most persons who look at it through a window. + +They had noticed, as they came home, that he was reading that sweetest +of elegies, the "In Memoriam" of Tennyson. And the two friends thought +that the melancholy weather and the melancholy poem together fully +accounted for the gloom on his brow. + +Marcus sat for some minutes meditating. Then he heaved a sigh, which was +distinctly audible to his two friends. Then he left the room without +saying a word, and went up stairs. + +Presently he was heard to come down; but, instead of returning to the +little parlor, he went into the street, and closed the door with a sharp +slam. At the same moment, the cold rain of the April night beat noisily +against the window. + +"Sly old fellow!" said Maltboy. + +"Up to something, depend on it," said Overtop. + +Marcus walked rapidly toward the inventor's house. "My fate is decided +to-night," he muttered. + +His long strides soon brought him to the house. The old building wore a +gloomy look. He did not speculate on the reason of this. It was probably +because there was no light visible in any of the front windows, and very +little light in the street lamps. The gas burned low and blue, and +flickered in the wind. + +Ringing the bell, Marcus was admitted by one of the numerous children +belonging to somebody in the house (Marcus could never determine to +whom), and walked up to the inventor's room. His heart beat with strange +emotion as he rapped at the door. For a moment he was sorry that he +had come. + +"Come in," said the inventor, in a voice more sepulchral than usual. + +Marcus entered the apartment. The inventor received him with a feeble +shake of the hand, bearing no resemblance to the hearty one which he +used to bestow in the early days of their acquaintance. Marcus noticed +that Mr. Minford's hand was hot. He also observed that his eyes were +preternaturally lustrous, and that the circles under them were deep and +dark. His cheeks were deathly pale, saving a little red spot in the +centres. He looked like a man in a state of fearful mental exaltation +and nervous excitement. + +Marcus was not in the habit of worrying people upon the subject of their +ill health; but the inventor looked so palpably bad, that Marcus could +not forbear to say, in a tone of anxiety, "You are unwell, sir." + +"Oh, no! Quite well, I assure you," said the inventor, with a weary +smile. "Though I should be sick, perhaps, but for the glorious hope that +bears me up. I have not eaten, or slept, for forty-eight hours." + +"But, my dear sir, this is trifling with your health." + +"I acknowledge it. But we must make sacrifices, if we would master the +UNKNOWN. Newton lived on bread and water when he wrote his immortal +Principia. He condemned himself to the coarse fare of a prison, in order +that his intellect might soar untrammelled to the stars. I have improved +on Newton--I eat nothing. As for sleep, I grudge a single hour of it +which comes between me and the completion of my great work." + +"But how long can you stand this dreadful strain upon your powers?" + +"Till daylight to-morrow, with safety. By that time I shall have +overcome the last obstacle. Of this I am confident. Then, ho! for +unbounded wealth and undying fame. The toil has been severe, but the +reward will be glorious." + +"I congratulate you," said Marcus, "on the near approach of your final +triumph. And, in order that I may not delay you a single moment, I will +bid you 'good-night.'" Marcus rose, but he hoped that the inventor would +ask him to stay. + +The inventor did so. "Pray don't hurry, Mr. Wilkeson; I would like to +have a brief conversation with you. A few minutes only." He drew a chair +to the side of Marcus, and seated himself. + +"Mr. Wilkeson," he said, in a deliberate voice, as if he were repeating +carefully-considered words, "it is unnecessary for me to say that I have +the highest opinion of you. Providence seems to have sent you to me at a +time when I was in the greatest need. You saved me from starving. The +world will be as much indebted to you for my grand invention, as it was +to the generous patronage of Queen Isabella for the discovery +of America." + +"Pooh!" interrupted Marcus, blushing. + +"The praise is none too high," continued the inventor. "It is true, I +have repaid your advances of money tenfold, by giving you an interest in +my future but certain fortune. But that does not diminish my gratitude." + +Marcus knew that this flattering exordium meant something serious. It +was a favorite theory of his, that danger, or any kind of anticipated, +disagreeable thing, was best met halfway. So he said, with a feeble +attempt at a smile: + +"I infer from this ominous opening that you have received another lying +anonymous letter about me. If I am right, Mr. Minford, be good enough to +let me see it at once, according to your promise." + +"You have guessed correctly, Mr. Wilkeson. I have received a second +anonymous letter, which I intended showing to you after a further brief +explanation. But I can readily appreciate your anxiety to read it +without delay. Here it is." He drew forth a letter, and handed it +to Marcus. + +Marcus immediately recognized the envelope and the address as similar +to those of the first letter, which he still had in his possession. + +He pulled the letter nervously from its yellow sheath, and read as +follows: + + MR. MINFORD: + + DEAR SIR,--Pardon me for intruding on you a second time. But, + as a friend of virtue, I must warn you of continued danger to + your daughter from the acquaintance of Mr. Wilkeson, your + pretended benefactor. If you are any longer in doubt as to + the vile intentions of this man, conceal yourself from + observation within sight of Miss Pillbody's school, any fair + afternoon, about half past two o'clock, and watch his + actions. If his suspicious conduct, at that time and place, + does not give a sufficient significance to my warnings, then + take the trouble to go to ----, Westchester Co., where he was + born, and search into his infamous history. Take heed--I warn + you again--lest, in your devotion to science, you forget that + you are a father. + + ONE WHO WOULD SHIELD THE INNOCENT. + +While reading this letter, Marcus was conscious that the eyes of the +inventor were fixed piercingly upon him. That consciousness caused his +head to bow, and his cheeks to crimson with shame. It is the curse of +this morbid sensibility, that righteous indignation at a foul slander +upon one's good name springs up only after the victim has shown all the +accepted evidences of guilt. + +There was one reason why a man much less sensitive than Marcus should +have been thrown off his balance by this letter. It was a fact that +every afternoon, at half past two o'clock, rain or shine, with +bachelor-like punctuality, he passed up and down in front of Miss +Pillbody's school, and looked sentimentally at the closed blinds, +thinking unutterable things. He was also addicted to standing at the +hydrant on the corner, and gazing hard at the house, wishing that he +could see through its brick walls. Then he would cross the street, and +pace up and down on that side, taking views of the house at every +variety of angle. This was precisely what the boy Bog did daily about an +hour and a half later. Now, although Marcus felt, in his heart, that +these pedestrian exercises--absurd to everybody but a lover--were +perfectly harmless in their purpose and effect, he was aware that, to a +man like Mr. Minford, looking at them suspiciously, they would appear to +be connected with some stealthy and base design. + +As to the imputations upon his former history, Marcus could freely +challenge the closest scrutiny; which is more than most men can do into +that long record of juvenile frailties and escapades which ushers in the +sober book of manhood. But here again the devil of sensitiveness +asserted his supremacy. Marcus had had a twin brother (who died years +before), a duplicate of himself in all respects but two. Marcus was +quiet, studious, honest, and frank; while Aurelius was quiet, studious, +less honest, and infinitely crafty. Marcus had, on several occasions in +his boyhood, been accused of petty offences which Aurelius had +committed, but which that cunning youth had unblushingly denied. These, +so far as Marcus supposed, were nothing more serious than robbing +orchards or melon patches. Still it was possible that some graver +wrong--more worthy of the title "infamous"--committed by his wild, +shrewd brother, might be brought to light by some deep explorer among +the traditions of his native village, and charged upon himself. This +possibility, and the difficulty of refuting a serious accusation under +such circumstances, brought a second flush of guilt to the face of +Marcus Wilkeson as he read the letter. + +These harassing thoughts, which fill so much space, written out, are but +a small part of those which were suggested with electric suddenness. + +Marcus's first impulse was to say: "I love your daughter, Mr. Minford, +with my whole heart and soul. It is my first and my only love, singular +though this confession may sound from the lips of a man of thirty-six +years. The proudest and happiest day of my life would be that on which I +could marry her, with her dear love and your fatherly consent. This +love, which is as pure as the angelic creature upon whom it is lavished, +fully explains my visits here, and whatever else is mysterious in my +conduct. But, before declaring myself to your daughter, or asking her +hand of you, I have desired to see whether it were possible to inspire +her with love for a man so much older than herself. For, much as I love +her, I would not seek to marry her without a return of love--not mere +respect, esteem, or gratitude. That is the problem I have been waiting +to solve." + +A confession to this effect was on the tip of his tongue. To have made +it, would have been like tearing open his breast and showing his heart. +But he would have made it, whatever the pain, if, on looking nervously +up from the letter, which he had now finished, he had not met the cold, +searching eyes of the inventor. He instantly shut his lips upon the +outcoming confession, and said, with as much indifference as he could +awkwardly assume: + +"I hope, sir, you have taken the trouble to investigate these ridiculous +charges." But Marcus inwardly hoped he had not. + +"I have sir," responded the inventor, gravely. "Had the accusations been +vague, like those in the first letter from this unknown person, I should +have dismissed them from my mind with a laugh. But they were so +specific, and the truth or falsity of them was so easily ascertained, +that I thought it my duty, in justice to my daughter, yourself, and to +me, to look into them. It was a painful task, but I have done it." + +"And what have you learned?" asked Marcus, making a transparent feint to +look at ease. + +"I will tell you frankly; though I wish to say, in advance, that my +discoveries, though they might justify some suspicion, do not prejudice +me in the least against you. I have no doubt that you will be able to +explain everything." But so spoke not the eyes of the inventor. + +"Well, then, to make a short story of this unpleasant affair, I have +watched your promenades in front of Miss Pillbody's school three +afternoons in succession. I will spare you the details, though, so +clearly are your movements back and forth imprinted on my memory, that I +could recount them all to you, if necessary. It is sufficient to say, +that I am forced to believe that my daughter is the magnet which draws +you to that neighborhood, and keeps your eyes riveted on that house. +This is all I have to say on the first point in the letter." + + + +CHAPTER II. + +IN VAIN--IN VAIN. + +This was Marcus Wilkeson's golden opportunity, and he manfully +determined to seize it. But, as he was on the point of blurting out the +stifled secret, that cold, pale face--which resembled marble in all but +the drops of sweat upon the brow--chilled him again. At the same moment, +the hopeless absurdity of love and marriage between a girl of seventeen +and a man of thirty-six, occurred to him in all its force. Stupidly +sensitive being that he was, he thought that this icy, intellectual Mr. +Minford would laugh at him. + +"I confess, sir, that these wanderings seem 'singular,' as you term +them. But all the habits of old bachelors are regarded as singular, I +believe. Now, it has been my daily habit, since I retired from business, +to lay down my book at two o'clock, and take a little out-door exercise. +Miss Pillbody's school is not far from my house; the street is pretty +clean for New York, and the sidewalks are tolerably dry. Therefore I +select that neighborhood for my daily walk--my--my 'constitutional,' as +they call it. If, in so doing, I should occasionally cast my eyes--in +fits of absent-mindedness, I may say--on Miss Pillbody's school, that +is not strange, considering--considering the interest that I take in +your daughter's education. It strikes me, my dear sir, that this seeming +suspicion is easily cleared up." Marcus smiled to think how adroitly he +had extricated himself. + +But there was no smile on the shroud-colored face of the inventor. + +"The explanation is _plausible_" (Mr. Minford emphasized the word), "and +I will not attempt to set it aside. God alone knows all the motives of +human action. Now, to the second, and more serious implication of the +letter. I have visited your native village, and inquired into your early +history. Though you moved to the city over fifteen years ago, and have +returned to your birthplace but once since, so far as I could +ascertain--" + +"Allow me," said Marcus. "My absence from my old home may seem strange, +but it is occasioned by no shame or disgrace. My father, mother, and +twin brother died and were buried there. By my father's failure, shortly +before his death, the old family mansion passed out of his hands, and +was afterward torn down to make room for a railway depot. This +extinction of my family--for I am now left without a relation in the +world, excepting a half-sister--and this destruction of our old home, +have made my native village horrible to me. When I visited the scene of +desolation, ten years ago, the village seemed to me like a huge +graveyard, in every part of which some happiness of my boyhood was +entombed; and I vowed that I would never go near it again. In the matter +of family recollections, I am exquisitely sensitive." + +"I respect your feelings, sir," said the inventor, "and regret that I +should be the means of reviving these painful recollections. But I have, +a duty to perform." + +"And I will no longer delay you in its performance. Now be kind enough +to let me know the worst at once. I can stand it." Marcus unconsciously +sat up more erect, as if to brace himself against a shock. + +"On my arrival in the village, my first act was to seek out some of the +oldest inhabitants. I found that most of them distinctly remembered you, +and your brother--Aurelius, I think, was his name. You will pardon me +for telling you the exact result of my inquiries, but I found that these +old inhabitants, without a single exception, gave you a very bad name, +and your brother a very good one." + +Marcus was about to explain, that his brother and himself were images of +each other; that the former was crafty, and full of mischief, and that +he (Marcus) had been made, on fifty occasions, the innocent scapegoat of +his brother's little offences. But he forbore. He had cheerfully +received reprimands, and even chastisements, for his brother while +living; and he would not blacken his memory when dead. He merely smiled +a sad smile, and said, "Ah?" + +"Many of the offences charged against you by these old gossips, were +petty and excusable. But there were others, committed by you when you +were at or near manhood, exhibiting, if true--understand, I say, _if_ +true--a moral depravity for which no extenuation can be found. Some of +the charges were not sustained by adequate proofs, and those I set down +as idle rumors. But there was one of which the proof was abundant and +most positive. No less than five persons gave me circumstantial +accounts--all agreeing with each other--of your betrayal and ruin of +Lucy Anserhoff." + +"Lucy Anserhoff!" echoed Marcus, in real amazement. "I have a faint +remembrance of an old lady by that name, and a pretty girl who was her +daughter. But as God is my judge, I never wronged her." Still there was +that expression of guilt, which did not escape the scrutinizing glance +of the inventor. + +Marcus could have hunted up evidence to transfer the burden of the +imputed wrong to the memory of the dead Aurelius. But should he commit +this profanation of the grave--as he regarded it? The voice of brotherly +love--for he had tenderly loved his erring brother--said, "No." Would +any amount of proof satisfy the nervous, doubting man before him? He +feared not. Therefore Marcus Wilkeson did an act of awful solemnity, to +prove his innocence. And, because the doing of it thrilled his sensitive +soul, as if he had thrust himself into the terrible presence of the +Infinite, he weakly supposed that the most suspicious of men would +unhesitatingly believe him. + +He stood up, turned his eyes to the ceiling, raised both hands, and +said, in a deep, trembling voice: + +"May God strike me dead, if I am guilty of this offence, or any like it, +or of any thought of wrong toward your daughter." + +Marc as sat down, pale, and caught his breath quickly. He was +awestricken by his own act. + +"That is a solemn adjuration," said the inventor, after a short pause, +"and should not be lightly taken." + +Marcus looked well at Mr. Minford. Unbelief was written in every hard +line and wrinkle of that white, deathlike face. "Do you doubt me now?" +he asked, sharply. His sensitiveness on the subject of personal honor +and veracity was painfully acute. He had never told a lie in his life. + +"Oh! no," replied Mr. Minford; "I do not say that I doubt you" (in a +tone expressive of the greatest doubt). "I shall be truly glad to +receive counter proofs from you." + +"You have heard my solemn appeal to God, sir. Between gentlemen of honor +that should be sufficient." + +The inventor's thin lips (from which the last drops of blood had +disappeared within the last half hour) curved in a satirical smile. +Marcus interpreted it as a reiterated doubt and a sneer upon his honor. +For the moment he lost control of his temper, and was about to make a +remark that he would have regretted immediately after, when the door +yielded to a gentle pressure, and Pet entered the room. + +Her face was pale. Her eyes were dull, and the lids hung droopingly, +weighed down by twenty-four hours of wakefulness by the bedside of her +sick teacher. The faint blue crescents beneath--those strange shadows +of the grave, which sometimes seem the deepest when the eyes above are +giving the brightest light--imparted a frail, delicate beauty to her +countenance. They were the last master-touches of Nature in working out +that portraiture of weaned and sleepy loveliness. + +As she put her foot in the room, Mr. Minford and his guest telegraphed a +truce with their eyes, and assumed a cheerful look. + +Little Pet timidly ran to her father, and kissed him, and then shook +hands with Marcus. He observed a shrinking in her touch. She averted +her eyes. + +"Your clothes are damp, and your feet wet, my darling," said the father, + +"Are they?" answered Pet, looking down at her saturated garments and +glistening shoes. "I had not noticed them. Oh! I am so happy that she is +well now. The doctor called at the house just before I left, and said +she was out of all danger. He ordered me home." + +"Very sensible of the doctor. Another hour of this watching might have +killed my poor child." + +"So I took a last look at my dear teacher--who was asleep--and kissed +her, and came right away through the rain." + +"It was foolish to do that without an umbrella and overshoes, my child. +But, as you were always forgetful of yourself, your father will not be +forgetful of you, at any rate." The inventor glanced significantly at +Marcus. That glance, so full of distrust, entered his soul. He longed to +say something--if only a word of common civility--to the young girl; +but he felt that there was now an impassable barrier between them. + +"But what is the matter, Pet?" exclaimed the father. She had dropped +into a chair, and her head fell on one side. He sprang to catch her. So +did Marcus. But the inventor reached her first, and seized her in his +arms, directing another of his speaking looks at Marcus. + +Pet roused herself at the touch of her father's hands, sat erect, and +opened her large blue eyes. "I am so sleepy," she said. + +"Of course you are, my blessed; and to bed you must go at once. That is +my prescription. But, first--always first--a cup of tea." + +The inventor darted to the stove, snatched up the teapot, poured out a +cup of the universal restorer, scalding his forefinger in the hurry, +milked and sugared it just right, and bore it to his daughter, who was +nodding again. She drank it dutifully, like medicine. + +Children do not comprehend tea. We have to grow up to it. It is the +appointed balm of fatigued and sorrowing middle age. + +In its function of medicine, the strong draught revived her, giving a +twist to her pretty features, and sending a lively shudder through her +slender frame. Pet rose from her seat quite briskly. + +"Now to bed. To bed at once. No delay. And mind you put on all the +blankets, and your heavy shawl a-top of them." + +"Yes, father." + +Marcus blushed, twirled his hat, and made a motion toward the door. + +"You need not go, Mr. Wilkeson," said the inventor. "I beg that you will +not. I wish to settle up that little unfinished business with you +to-night." + +Marcus saw that the inventor was in earnest. He coughed, and hesitated +what to say. + +But, before he could say anything, Pet had kissed her father, and said +"Good-night," in a faint voice, to the guest, and already had her hand +on the knob of the door which led to her little sleeping room. + +"Remember, darling--all the blankets, and your shawl. To-morrow morning +you will wake up bright and happy, and ready to enjoy a little surprise +that I shall have for you." He jerked his thumb toward the machine. + +Pet understood him, and smiled sadly. "You need bed more than I, +father," said she. + +"Nonsense, child!" replied the old man, with a hollow laugh. "It is not +for the patient to prescribe to the physician. There, good-night, now." + +He kissed her again with more tenderness. "Remember," said he, "there is +a little surprise in store for you to-morrow." + +Pet said, "Heaven bless you, father," murmured another "Good-night," and +disappeared within her sanctuary, closing the door after her. + +"Now, Mr. Wilkeson," said the inventor, "we can finish our +conversation." + +His voice sounded like a voice from the tomb. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE CLASHING ORBS. + +The rain had ceased, and the moon was out. The dark, massy clouds that +floated between her and the earth were doing their ghostly, +phantasmagoric work. At one moment, clear, white light, like a shroud; +at another moment, darkness, like a pall. An owl, lighting on the spire +of Grace Church in his flight over the city, might have seen the white +edge of the shroud, or the black edge of the pall, advancing in +well-defined lines over the housetops, and the parks, and the two +rivers, swiftly succeeding each other. + +It was as if the mighty invisible demons of the night were capriciously +trying the effects of cerements on the sleeping city. It was as if they +were perplexed between the soft beauty of the shroud and the sombre +majesty of the pall. A woman could not have tried on two shawls more +often and more indecisively, before making up her mind to buy. + +Little Pet's sleeping room, like every room that faced the south, that +night, was full of strange, spectral effects. The scrolls and the roses +on the cheap yellow curtains that hung in the windows, were changed to +hideous faces of variable size and ugliness. Their grotesque shadows on +the floor mingled with other faces--horrible as antique masks--wrought +by the magic of the moon from the gigantic flowers that adorned the +narrow strip of carpet by the bedside. Her dresses, suspended from a row +of hooks in the corner--and showing, in gentle swells and curves, the +lithe, graceful form of the little wearer, like moulds,--would have +looked to any open eye, that dreadful night, like women hanging against +the wall. This startling idea would have been helped along by two or +three shadowy bonnets depending from pegs above them. The white +somethings carelessly tossed over a chair near the head of the bed, were +no longer the garments of youth, beauty, and innocence, but +graveclothes, cold, shining, shuddering, in that deathly light. The +touch of the moon, like the presence of a sexton, suggested mortality. + +The narrow, single bed, with its four black posts, looked like the fatal +trestle, or bier. The slender body which lay upon it was still as death. +The head nestled motionless in a deep indentation of the pillow. A +slanting ray of the moon, coming between one of the window curtains and +the window, fell upon the face, and showed it white and waxen; the lips, +still red, parted to the gleaming teeth; and the eyes not quite covered +by the lids. One beautiful round arm curved above her head, and some of +her soft brown hair rested in the little open palm. The other stretched +down toward the centre of the bed, as if fearlessly to invite the touch +of those weird things with which imagination peoples the solemn +night--which the wakeful eye, in the still, small hours, sees moving in +the darker corners, or passing swiftly by the bedside, or hovering in +the air, wearing the semblance of one's dead friends, or filling large +portions of the room with some formless presence of unutterable +malignity and woe. + +It was only sleep to which the moon thus gave the pale polish of death. +The gentle murmur of a childish breath broke the silence. The heavy +bedclothes slowly rose and fell with the mysterious pulsations of warm +life beneath. At intervals, a shudder shook the little figure of the +sleeper, her breath came louder and quicker, and her arms moved with +sudden starts. Pet was dreaming, under the joint influences of an excess +of blankets and a cup of strong tea. + +She was alone in infinite space. Above, below, on all sides, was a +leaden atmosphere. Neither sun, nor moon, nor stars illumined it, but +only some dull, phosphorescent light, which seemed to be born of the +murky, stagnant air. It was such a strange, sickly, wavering gleam as +she had seen above decaying wood, fish, and other substances. All around +was absolute stillness. Not a swallow waved his wing nor an insect +hummed in that barren immensity. Nature was hushed by some deadly spell. + +Yet the dread silence portended the near approach of HORRORS. She knew +what they were, for she had been in this frightful region often before, +and was familiar with its dread phenomena. They came. They were only two +little black specks--like motes in the sunbeams--scarcely visible to her +strained vision at first. She gazed upon them with the fascination of a +charmed bird on the two small jet eyes of a serpent; but with this +difference, that she knew the terrible peril that they brought. The +moment that these two motes became visible to her in that dimly lighted +mist, they commenced revolving around each other. + +They revolved slowly, and increased in size as they rolled on. The +slowness of the motion and the swelling of the motes were elements of +horror. But she could not take her eyes from those two black objects +revolving like binary stars, until her breath should cease to come and +go, and her heart to beat. As the motes enlarged, their orbits widened. +And they grew and-grew, performing greater and more awful +circuits--still slowly, still noiselessly. The eternal, unbroken silence +was another element of horror. The doomed spectatress of this solemn, +maddening whirl would fain have shrieked, or even whispered, to break +the silence, but she could not. Either her powers of articulation had +disappeared in that region of universal dumbness, or the dead atmosphere +was waveless, and could vibrate to no sound. She knew, by harrowing +experience, the scene that was to come, and she prayed inwardly to God +to strengthen her for it. + +The two black objects swelled and swelled in even proportions, until +they became as large as a full moon just seen above the horizon; then to +the size of two full moons, and a dozen, and a hundred, and a thousand. +Still black, still noiseless, still revolving slowly, like a tardy but +certain doom. Then a quarter of the leaden space was filled with their +gigantic bodies, and the lurid air was darker. Then a half of the +heavens was blotted out; She grew faint and sick, as she moved her head +to the right and left, and up and down, and watched the dizzy +revolutions of those vast orbs, between which she knew that she was to +be crushed at last, as by the nether and upper millstones. Her +inarticulate cries to God were unheard. It seemed as if there were no +God for that accursed part of the universe. + +Majestically, slowly, silently ever, the orbs increased. Two strips of +the sky could be seen constantly changing positions, but always opposite +to each other. These were the gaps, fast narrowing, which were to be +filled up by the swelling worlds before her destruction was +accomplished. Her long familiarity with the movements of this stupendous +enginery of death enabled her to calculate to a nicety when the crash +would come. She lay like the bound victim under the guillotine, watching +fer the axe to descend. + +The blackness of darkness above and beneath and around her ... a +suffocating compression of the stagnant air ... a thrilling +consciousness of the close approach of the two cruel orbs.... a +superlative stillness ... and then a mighty attrition, in which the +mortal part of the poor girl was about to be ground to atoms, when she +... awoke. + +She threw back the heavy blankets that oppressed her chest, as if +_they_ were the crushing danger. She looked overhead, expecting to see a +whirling globe within a foot of her face. But she saw only the ceiling, +made visible by the pallid light of the room. Then she knew that she was +in her own little room, and that this frightful adventure was only the +old, old dream, that came to her two or three times a year, as far back +as she could remember--the same always, without addition or curtailment. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +A VISION OF HORRORS. + +Little Pet was not the least superstitious; because her father had +taught her from infancy to pay no heed to dreams or signs; and because +he had allowed no housemaid or fussy old woman to inoculate his young +daughter with her own senseless and cowardly fears. Pet smiled at the +momentary terror which the strange old dream had caused, closed her +eyes, and addressed herself again to sleep. But, first, she drew up the +weighty blankets over her little frame, as her father had told her to +do. She had already found out by experience, that a hot application of +blankets was the best remedy for a young cold. + +A low murmur, as of conversation, came from the adjoining room. Then she +remembered that Mr. Wilkeson was there when she had come to bed. She +said to herself: "It cannot be late; for he never stops after ten +o'clock." Then she began to think of some matters which had recently +perplexed and distressed her greatly. But she was so sleepy, that the +thoughts came into her little head confusedly, and, several times, +merged into dreams, and then came out again. The low murmur of the talk +outside, like the distant hum of a waterfall or a mill, was sedative. +The act of listening to it--as she did for a few moments with natural +curiosity--was provocative of sleep. + + * * * * * + +The conversation suddenly grew louder. The hollow voice of the inventor, +and the deep bass of Marcus Wilkeson, could be heard alternating +quickly. These words reached little Pet: + +THE INVENTOR. "We have had along conversation, Mr. Wilkeson, and I will +end it by saying that it is best for us to separate, now and forever." + +MARCUS (_bitterly_). "As you please, sir; but it is hard that a man's +reputation should be at the mercy of any scoundrel who knows how to +write a libel, and has not courage enough to acknowledge it." + +THE INVENTOR (_pettishly_). "I have told you a dozen times, that I +despise anonymous letter writers. They are ever liars and cowards." + +MARCUS. "But you respected this one enough to adopt his suggestions." + +THE INVENTOR. "So the magistrate uses hints that may be furnished him by +professional thieves, for the detection of crime. But he, none the less, +loathes those who would inform upon their comrades." + +MARCUS. "You believe, therefore, only what you have seen or heard for +yourself." + +THE INVENTOR. "Nothing further, I assure you. In all matters of proof, +it is my nature to be suspicious." + +MARCUS. "But none of these accusations against me have been proved." + +THE INVENTOR. "Why protract this painful conversation? It is sufficient +for me to say that we must part.--(_Excitedly_.) Good heavens, sir! am I +not the guardian of my daughter, and warranted in accepting or rejecting +acquaintances for her? Must I make long explanations to everybody that I +don't see fit to admit into my house and my daughter's society? Is not +this a free country, sir?" + +MARCUS _(with deep despair in his voice_). "Perfectly free, sir. I admit +your rights. And I hereby pledge myself not to intrude upon you or +her--at least, until you are convinced of the great injustice of your +conduct toward me, and invite me again to your house. But there is one +thing more!" + +THE INVENTOR (_impatiently_). "One thing more! will this dialogue never +end? Well, sir. What the devil is it?" Then he added, as if aware of the +coarseness and gross impropriety of that expression. "Excuse me, sir, +but it is late, and my machine is waiting." + +MARCUS (_slowly and firmly_). "One moment, sir. I have sworn my +innocence before God, with the most solemn oath known to man. I may have +misconstrued your remarks, but I thought you still doubted me. It is my +misfortune to be extremely sensitive upon the point of honor. Having +relinquished your acquaintance and that of--of--your daughter, it is now +my duty to ask whether you presume to question my oath?" + +THE INVENTOR (_with increased impatience_). "Why should I be bored with +this cross-examination? I have never said I doubted your oath." + +MARCUS (_quickly_). "That is not an answer. Do you believe me, or +disbelieve me? Am I a liar and perjurer, or not? In one word; yes, +or no!" + +THE INVENTOR (_laughing nervously_). "Will you bully me in my own house, +sir? There is the door. Out of it!" + +There was a noise like the opening of a door. + +MARCUS (_between his teeth_). "Never, sir. Never, until you retract your +imputation upon my honor." + +THE INVENTOR (_losing all control of himself_). "Curse your honor. If +you had been more careful of it in your native village--where you are +best known--it would not trouble you now. Come, there are the stairs." + +MARCUS. "Once more. Do you believe my oath, or not?" + +THE INVENTOR (_shouting_). "No! no! a million times, no! since you drive +me to it. I believe you to be a crafty scoundrel, who has been trying to +ruin my daughter. Out, sir, now--out!" + +Then was a sound of two men clenching, and struggling toward the door. +A noise followed like that caused by the sharp closing of the door; but +the two men were still in the room, for their scuffling and their short, +quick grunts of exertion could be heard with increased distinctness. The +noise indicated that one was pushing the other toward the centre of the +room. Then followed the dull, nauseating sound of blows, apparently +struck with fists upon heads and chests, mingled with noisier but still +partly suppressed groans, and defiances. + +The conversation which preceded this struggle, had come to Pet's ears +with such distinctness, and made such a terrifying impression upon her +mind, that it seemed as if she could see the combatants. + +At the time when the clenching commenced, the vision was faint, as if +she were looking into a dark room. But, as the struggle proceeded, the +room seemed to be gradually lighted up for her; and every grapple, every +blow, every facial contortion of this horrible contest, were plainly +visible. And yet she was not in the room, but lying in her little bed, +bound as in the awful dream of the clashing orbs. She knew she was +there, and yet she felt that her eyes, all her faculties of observation, +had been somehow transferred to her father's room, and that she was +actually seeing and hearing the commission of a murder there. + +She tried to cry aloud, but her jaws were closed. She would have risen, +entered the room, and thrown herself between the frenzied men, but +neither hand nor foot could she move. Her body was fastened to the bed +as if with adamantine chains, while her mind and soul were the voiceless +spectators of a tragedy of which she knew that she was the cause. She +could not even open her eyes. If she could have loosed but a muscle from +the rigidity of the trance, she knew that her whole frame would be +relaxed in an instant. Then she would have bounded--oh! with what +speed--into the other room, where her immortal part was helplessly +watching the conflict, and interceded at the risk of her life. Alas! +Prometheus was tied to the rock not more firmly than she to that bed +of anguish! + +The struggle went on. The inventor, though past the prime of life, and +worn down by excessive thought, had some strength left. Its duration was +brief; but it was not to be despised while it lasted. He grasped the +tall figure of Marcus Wilkeson by the neck with one arm, and with the +other struck dozens of blows upon his face and chest. The comparative +youth and freshness of Marcus were unable to free him from the strong +hold of this vigorous old man. Pangs of terror shot through the heart of +the poor girl as she saw that her father was about to become a murderer. +Then the tide of fortune changed. Marcus, bruised and black in the face, +and panting with exertion, released himself from the inventor's clutch, +and, in turn, caught him by the throat. With his long arm he held the +furious old man at a safe distance. The unhappy girl was now agonized +with fears for her father's life. + +"This is madness. Let us stop it." Thus Pet heard Marcus Wilkeson say, +in panting accents. + +What demoniac spell was it that prevented her from shrieking--"Stop it. +In God's name, father, stop?" + +"Never!" said the undaunted old man. "Never, till I have thrown you +headlong down stairs! Liar! Villain!" + +With that, Pet saw her father hurl himself, with the ferocity of a +tiger, on Marcus Wilkeson. Such was the suddenness and impetuosity of +the movement, that Marcus was pushed back several feet toward the door, +from the centre of the room, where the most obstinate part of the +struggle had taken place. + +But the old man's supremacy was short lived. The younger and stronger +man suddenly stooped, caught the inventor with both hands under the +arms, and thrust him toward the corner occupied by the mysterious +machine. The inventor would have fallen on it, and perhaps have been +instantly killed by contact with some portion of the brass or iron work, +but for the interposition of the screen. This broke his fall. He +scrambled to his feet, full of rage, and foaming at the mouth. + +Marcus stepped back, and said, "Now let it cease." + +Pet saw her father snatch something that looked like a club, from some +part of the machine. + +"This is my answer," he said, and precipitated himself with fresh fury +upon Marcus. + +The younger man had expected the attack, and braced himself for it. He +caught the inventor by the arm that held the club, or other weapon. They +wrestled for its possession--the inventor with frenzy in every feature, +Marcus with fixed determination, and silently. + +The weapon was now aloft--now below--now shifted in the twinkling of an +eye to the right, and now to the left. At one time the inventor seemed +to be on the point of securing it; at another, Marcus. Suddenly Pet saw +it whirl like a shillelah above her father's head, with a strange noise +like the quick winding of a clock. Then she heard a dull sound, as of +striking a board with a brick, and--she saw her father fall to the +floor. At the same moment, the light in the room went out, and all +was darkness. + +The pent-up agony at last found utterance. She shrieked, and, instantly, +her eyes were open, and her limbs free. She jumped out of bed, and was +about to rush into the chamber of horrors, when she saw the bright light +of the gas yet shining through the crack beneath her door. She listened. +The house was still as the grave. Not a sound from all the world +outside, except the striking of a fire alarm for the seventh district. +The deep notes vibrated upon her quickened hearing like a knell. + +Then she remembered that, in the vision, the light had disappeared. Here +it was gleaming under her door as brightly as ever. "Pshaw! what a silly +girl I am!" said she. "It was a nightmare. That's all." She raised her +hands to her face. It was hot and dripping. + +"Father prescribed too large a dose of blankets. No wonder I had this +horrid dream." + +But, notwithstanding the presence of the light, and the absence of all +noise, such as would be caused by the murderer in leaving the room and +going down stairs, the impression of this tragic vision upon her mind +was not to be dismissed with a "Pshaw!" + +Pet would have derived much relief from opening the door and looking in, +and seeing, with her own waking eyes, that her father was alive, at his +usual seat in the corner. She placed her hand upon the latch. + +But then she remembered how her father had laughed at her, two or three +times before, when she was a younger girl, and not so wise as now, and +had rushed into his room screaming with fright from a nightmare. She +prided herself on having outgrown childish fears. + +She also remembered that her father had told her, two days before, that +he was engaged in the most difficult mathematical calculations, day and +night, and, kissing her, had playfully said that she must not +disturb him. + +"He is thinking over his problems now," thought little Pet. "Dear +father! I _do_ wish he would give up that hateful machine. It will be +the death of him. But he said I must not disturb him, and I will not. +Mr. Wilkeson must have gone home a long time ago; and dear father is +thinking, as he calls it, with his hand on his forehead, in the old +corner. Let me take one little peep through the keyhole, and go to +bed again." + +Pet stooped, and looked through the keyhole. Within her range were the +chair where Marcus Wilkeson had sat that evening, and the nail +where--with bachelor-like precision--he always hung his hat. Neither +Marcus Wilkeson nor his hat were in their accustomed, places. "What +silly things these dreams are!" thought little Pet. The keyhole did not +command the corner of the room where the machine stood, and where the +inventor pondered and toiled; but Pet felt as certain that he was there, +coaxing thoughts out of his pale brow with that habitual caress of the +hand, as if she had seen him. + +"Good night, dear father," she whispered, softly. "May Heaven watch over +your labors, and keep you from all harm." + +With this pious prayer, she slid into her warm nest. But, before +adjusting her limbs for sleep, she threw off a portion of the heavy +blankets which had weighed upon her, and was soon sound asleep, and +dreaming of a garden in which all the roses were beautiful new bonnets. + +Still the moon played her ghastly metamorphoses in the little chamber. +And the figures on the carpet and the figures on the curtain writhed in +horrible contortions of glee, as if they rejoiced over a calamity which +had befallen that house. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +WHAT THE MORNING BROUGHT. + +The child woke about seven o'clock. She knew the time by the sun's rays +upon the window curtains. In that strong, cheerful light, the phantom +faces had shrunk back to great red bunches of flowers again. She thought +of the absurd dream, or vision, as of something that had happened ages +ago, and wondered that she had been foolish enough to be frightened +by it. + +There was no noise in her father's room. But that was not strange, for +he rarely retired to bed before three o'clock in the morning (even when +he did not sit up all night), and slept till eight. His sleep, though +short, was sound; and it was Pet's custom to prepare breakfast in her +father's room without waking him. + +She washed her face, which looked rosy and bewitching in the little +cracked mirror, and dressed her hair in two simple bands down the +cheeks, and put on a white calico dress with small red spots, and a +white apron bound with blue. This was the dress that her father loved +the best. She looked in the glass, and examined her damaged reflection +with a charming coquetry, and said, "Pet, child, you are looking well +to-day. Now for breakfast." + +Pet walked to the door, humming her last music lesson in a low voice. + +She placed her hand upon the latch, and opened the door softly. As it +swung on its hinges, and she began to obtain a glimpse of the room, she +noticed the gas still burning, though the daylight filled the apartment. +This was strange. A shudder passed through her frame, and her cheeks +began to pale. + +"Pooh! what nonsense!" she said. She pushed the door wide open. + +Was it another mocking, maddening vision that she saw? She rubbed her +eyes in wild affright, and then raised her hands aloft with a +piercing shriek. + +There, before her, lay the dead body of her father. In the centre of his +ghastly forehead was a small wound, from which the blood had trickled +over the temples, bedabbling his thin gray hairs, and forming a small +red pool by his side. Near him, on the floor, was a club with an iron +tip, which had done the dreadful deed. She recognized it at once as a +part of the machine. + +The monstrous vision of the night was true! Her father was dead! Mr. +Wilkeson was his murderer! She was an orphan! + +These agonizing thoughts flashed through her brain in the single +instant. She felt her head turning, and her limbs failing under her. She +had only strength to shriek, "Murder! murder! Help! help!" and then she +fell headlong and senseless upon her father's dead body. + + + +BOOK SEVENTH. + +JOURNEYINGS AGAINST FATE. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +PEA-SHOOTING AS A SCIENCE. + +Be it said to the credit of Wesley Tiffles, that he always paid bills +promptly when he could borrow money to do it. The funds that he had +raised from Marcus Wilkeson, and others, for the panorama, had been +faithfully applied to that great object. If he could have borrowed money +from other people to repay those loans, that act of financial justice +would also have been done; and so on without end, like a round robin. + +When Tiffles bestowed the last instalment of compensation upon Patching, +that individual shrugged his shoulders, and smiled. "The paltry price of +artistic degradation," said he. "Remember, I would have done this job +only for a friend. The world must not know it is a Patching--though I +fear that even on this hasty daub I have left marks of my style which +will betray me." + +"You are safe, my dear fellow," said Tiffles. "I have already ordered +the posters and bills; and the name of Andrea Ceccarini will appear +thereon as the artist. Ceccarini has an Italian look, which is an +advantage; and, you will pardon me for saying, is rather more imposing +than Patching." + +The artist was sensitive touching his name. It had been punned upon in +some of the comic papers. He could not take offence at the innocent +remark of a friend, but he felt hurt, and vindictively rammed the large +roll of one-dollar bills into his vest pocket without counting them. +(Whenever it was practicable, Tiffles paid his debts in bills of that +denomination. He had a theory that the amount looked larger, and was +more satisfactory to the receiver.) + +As Tiffles saw how lightly the artist regarded the money, not even +counting it, he felt a momentary pang at the thought that he had +paid him. + +The panorama of Africa had not only been finished and paid for, but it +had been exhibited to a large number of clergymen of all denominations, +at the lecture room of an up-town church. The clergymen, being debarred +from attending secular amusements, as a class, had gladly accepted the +invitation of "Professor Wesley" (Tiffles's panoramic name), and brought +with them their wives and a number of children apiece. + +The panorama was rigged up at the end of the lecture room, in front of +the desk, under the personal supervision of a former assistant of +Banvard's, and worked beautifully, saving an occasional squeak in +the rollers. + +Tiffles, in his character of Professor Wesley, told his story glibly and +with perfect coolness, interspersing the heavier details with amusing +anecdotes, which made the ministers smile, and brought out a loud titter +of laughter from the ministers' wives, and tremendous applause, +inclusive of stamping and the banging of hymn books, from the +ministers' children. + +One of the children, with the love of mischief peculiar to that division +of the human family, had provided himself with peas, and, taking +advantage of the partial darkness in which the panorama was exhibited, +shot those missiles with practised aim at Professor Wesley, and now and +then hit him in the face. The lecturer kept in good humor; and when, +after a smart volley of peas, Rev. Dr. A---- arose, and suggested that +these disturbances were disgraceful, and, although he did not wish to +meddle with the household government of his brethren, he thought that +the children who were guilty of such outrages ought to be taken home, +soundly whipped, and put to bed--when Rev. Dr. A----, moved by just +indignation, did this, the lecturer smiled, and blandly said: Oh, no; he +wasn't annoyed in the least (at the same time receiving a pea on his +left cheek). He would trust to the generosity of his young friends not +to fire their peas too hard; and he hoped that the reverend gentleman +would withdraw his suggestion. + +Cries of "All right, brother!" "We'll keep the boys quiet!" "Go on! go +on!" went up from all parts of the room. Rev. Dr. A----, yielding to the +pressure, sat down, and received, at that moment, one pea on the right +eye of his gold spectacles, and another square on the end of his nose. +The two peas were fired by his second son John, who had been delivering +this invisible artillery all the evening from the other end of the +identical pew in which the Rev. Dr. was seated. He groaned in the +spirit, and muttered something to Mrs. Rev. Dr. A---- about the +degeneracy of other people's children, which made that lady chuckle low, +under cover of the night; for she knew that her second son John was the +pea-shooter, and had made vain efforts to stop him, by pinching his leg, +though the good matron could not help laughing at every fine shot +achieved by her promising boy. + +Professor Wesley "went on," as requested, and so did the pea-shooting, +until John's stock of ammunition gave out. + +The lecturer had ransacked the Society, Astor, and Mercantile libraries, +and stuffed himself with facts touching the interior of Africa, so far +as that mystery had been explored. Fortified with these facts, and a +lively imagination, he found no difficulty in satisfying the curiosity +of his auditors on every point; and answered questions of all sorts, +which were fired at him even thicker than the peas, without the least +hesitation. + +When the exhibition was over, every clergyman present signed a +certificate declaring that they had been highly entertained and +instructed by the Panorama of Africa, and Mr. Wesley's able lecture; +that they considered the painting a masterpiece of moral Art, and +cordially recommended it to the patronage of an enlightened public. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +BY STEAM. + +Tiffles had selected, as his first field of active operations, the State +of New Jersey. His large number of relatives (the Tiffleses were +prolific on the female side) and friends, and occasional creditors, +scattered through New England and New York, effectually barred him from +all that territory. New Jersey, then Pennsylvania, then the West--those +were the great topographical features of his campaign. + +For his initiatory performance, he had chosen a quiet little town less +than thirty miles from the city, on a line of railway. If his panorama +was to be a hopeless failure at the very outset, Tiffles wanted to be +within striking distance of New York. He was sanguine of success; but, +like a prudent general, he looked after his lines of retreat. + +To this small town in New Jersey, with which the fate of the great +enterprise was to be indissolubly linked, Tiffles had sent a large stock +of posters and handbills. He had previously corresponded (free of +expense both ways) with that universal business man of every American +village, the postmaster, and, through him, had engaged Washington +Hall--the largest hall in the place, capable of holding six hundred +people--at five dollars for one night, with the refusal of two +nights more. + +The name of the hall and the night of exhibition were written in blank +spaces on the posters and handbills with red chalk, in a fine commercial +hand, by Tiffles himself; and, for a small consideration, the postmaster +had agreed to stick up the posters on every corner; also on the post +office and the three town pumps; and to distribute the handbills in +every house. These labors the P.M. did not undertake to perform +personally--though he had plenty of leisure for them, as well as for the +local defence of the National Administration, which was his peculiar and +official function--but he turned them over to a semi-idiot, who +occasionally did jobs of that kind, and who was willing to trust for his +pay to the coming of Professor Wesley. + +The last letter from the postmaster ran thus: + + Yure's of the 6th reseved, and contense, including for my + pussenel expenses, dooly noted, Washinton Hall has been moped + out for you and is clene as a pin, six new tin cannel sticks + have been put up in the antyrum by the propryetor, this is + lyberul, all the hanbils has been distributid, and the + posters stuck up, sum of em wrong side down, owin to the + bilposter bein a little week-minded, which will be a kind of + curosity, and an advantije to you I think. I have sent + tickets to the village pastures and their famylis, as yu + requested and they red the notises last Sunday and advised + everybuddy to go. I have gut public opinion all rite for yu + here, now cum on with yer panyrammer of Afriky. + + Yure's trooly, + + B. PERSIMMON, p.m. + +This was cheering; and Tiffles only hoped that he would be able to +secure so faithful an ally in every postmaster, for he had decided to do +this preliminary work through that variety of public functionary, until +the success of the panorama would justify hiring a special courier to go +in advance and smooth the way for him, + +All these preparations having been satisfactorily made; and the +panorama, with the curtains, the lighting apparatus, and the other +properties, having been forwarded in three enormous boxes to the scene +of the impending conflict with public opinion, Tiffles made ready to +follow. And, on the eventful morning of the----- of April, 185-, he +might have been seen at the Cortlandt-street ferry, accompanied by +Patching, who had graciously consented to see how the "thing worked" on +its first public trial. + +Patching pulled his enormous hat still farther over his eyes, so that he +might not be recognized. This gave him an extremely questionable aspect; +and the ticket taker at the ferry peered under the huge brim +suspiciously as Patching came in. He also attracted the attention of a +detective in citizen's clothes, and was a general object of interest to +all the people congregated in the ferry house and waiting for the boat. + +"This is fame," muttered Patching, glancing at his scrutinizers from the +shadow of the far-reaching hat. "This is what people starve and die for. +It is a bore." He struck an attitude, as if unconsciously, folding his +arms, and appearing to be in a profound revery. Then, after another +cautious glance about, he turned to Tiffles, by his side, and said: + +"It is useless. I am recognized. But remember your solemn promise. I had +no hand in the painting of it." + +"Not a little finger, my dear fellow," cheerfully replied Tiffles, who +had given the artist similar assurances of secrecy five times +that morning. + +At that moment a hand touched Tiffles familiarly on the shoulder. He +turned suddenly, for he was always expecting rear attacks from +creditors. He saw Marcus Wilkeson. + +"Best of friends," said Tiffles, with unfeigned joy, "I am glad to see +you. Of course you are going with us, though I hardly dared hope as much +when I sent you the invitation." + +"To tell the truth, Tiffles, I had no intention of going, till this +morning, when it suddenly occurred to me that a little trip in the +country, and the fun of seeing your panorama and hearing you lecture, +would drive away the blues. I had a bad fit of them last night." + +Here Patching turned, and looked Marcus in the face, without seeming to +recognize him. It was his habit (not a singular one among the human +species) to pretend not to remember people, and to wait for the first +word. Marcus indulged in the same habit to some extent, and, when he saw +Patching looking at him without a nod or a word, he also was blank and +speechless. + +"Don't you remember each other?" said Tiffles. "Mr. Patching. Mr. Marcus +Wilkeson." + +The gentlemen shook hands, and said: + +"Oh, yes! How do you do? It is a fine morning. Very." + +"So much paler than when I last saw you, that I didn't know you, +positively. Little ill, sir?" asked Patching. The artist was sure to +observe and speak of any signs of illness on the faces of his friends +and acquaintances. Some people called him malevolent for it. + +To be told that one looks pale, always makes one turn paler. Marcus, +extra sensitive on the point of looks, became quite pallid, and said, +with confusion: + +"I have not been well for several days, and my rest was badly broken +last night." + +Tiffles had also remarked the unusual deadly whiteness of his friend's +complexion, and the air of lassitude and unhappiness which pervaded his +face, but he would not have alluded to them for the world. He never made +impertinent observations of that sort. + +"Unwell?" said Tiffles. "I had not noticed it. In the morning, all New +York looks as if it had just come out of a debauch. Wilkeson will pass, +I guess." This calumny upon the city was Tiffles's favorite bit of +satire, and it had cheered up many a poor fellow who thought himself +looking uncommonly haggard. + +Marcus smiled languidly, and turned away his head with a sigh. As his +eyes swept about, they encountered the gaze of the man in citizen's +clothes, previously noticed. At first, Marcus thought he had seen this +man somewhere before; and then he thought he was mistaken. The man +evinced no recognition of Marcus, and, an instant after, his sharp +glance wandered to some other person in the large group waiting for +the boat. + +Here the boat came into the slip, and, after bumping in an uncertain way +against the piles on either side, neared almost within leaping distance +of the wharf. A solid crowd of passengers stood at the edge of the boat, +with their eyes fixed on the landing place, as if it were the soil of a +new world upon which they were to leap for the first time, like a party +of Columbuses When the distance had been diminished to about four feet, +the front row of passengers jumped ashore, and rushed wildly up the +street, as if impelled by a rocket-like power from behind. These people +could not have been more eager to get ashore, if they had come from the +other side of the globe on business involving a million apiece, to be +transacted on that day only. + +In fact, they were only lawyers, tradesmen, mechanics, and clerks, +living in Jersey City, and going over to New York on their daily, +humdrum business. It was not the business that attracted them, but the +demon of American restlessness that pushed them on. They went back at +night in just the same hurry, and made equally hazardous jumps on the +Jersey side. They were mere shuttlecocks between the battledoors of +Jersey City and New York. + +Tiffles and Patching lifted up the thin carpet bags which reposed at +their feet, and which contained an exceedingly small amount of personal +linen and other attire, and went on board the boat, followed by Marcus, +who was unencumbered with baggage. They entered the ladies' cabin. The +thick crowd of people pressed into the cabin in their front and rear, +and all about them, and scrambled for seats. There was a general +preference for the part forward of the wheelhouse, because it was a few +feet nearer New Jersey than the aft part. The rush to obtain these +preferred places was like that of the opera-going world for the front +row of boxes at a _matinee_. Ladies who obtained eligible seats, settled +themselves in them, spread out their dresses, put their gloved hands in +position, and smiled with a sweet satisfaction at ladies who had got no +seats. Those ladies, in turn, looked reproachfully at the gentlemen who +were comfortably seated. And those gentlemen, with the exception of a +few who rose and gracefully offered their seats to the youngest and +prettiest of the ladies, in turn looked out of the windows, or at the +floor, or at a paper, intently. + +A stranger to the ferry boats and customs of the country would have +supposed that the passengers were bound for Europe instead of the +opposite shore of North River. + +Marcus Wilkeson, Times, and Patching did not participate in this contest +for seats, but walked through the fetid and stifling cabins to the +forward deck, where fresh, bracing air, glorious sunlight, and a cheery +view of the river were to be had. But these charms of nature were +apparently thrown away on the trio. They all leaned over the railing, +and, looked steadily into the water. Times was thinking up his lecture, +and other matters of the panorama. Patching was misanthropically +reviewing his career, and exulting in future triumphs over his +professional enemies. Marcus was engrossed with some sad theme which, +once or twice, brought tears into his eyes. A burst of noble music, a +fine sentiment in a poem, a poor woman crying, keen personal +disappointment, or any acute mental trouble, had this strange effect on +the optics of Marcus Wilkeson. + +The bell rang; voices shouted, "All aboard!" the gangplank was drawn in; +several belated people jumped on, at the risk of their lives, after the +boat had left the wharf, one man vaulting over ten feet; and the voyage +for Jersey was commenced. + +Three minutes later, the inmates of the cabins began to go forward and +pick favorable positions for jumping off on the other side. The scramble +to evacuate the seats then was as sharp as the scramble to possess them, +three minutes before. A few more rounds of the wheels, and the boat +thumped in the usual way against one row of piles at the entrance of the +Jersey slip, and then caromed like a billiard ball on the other, each +time nearly knocking the passengers off their feet, and shaking a small +chorus of screams out of the ladies. + +When the boat was within a yard of the wharf, the jumping commenced; and +all the able-bodied men, most of the boys, and some of the ladies, were +off before the boat butted with tremendous force against the wharf, +shaking both wharf and boat to their foundations, and giving to the +people on both a parting jar, which they carried in their bones for the +rest of the day. + +Once safely on the wharf, the scramble was continued in various +directions and for various objects. Marcus, Tiffles, and Patching +indulged in the eccentricity of not scrambling; and, when they reached +the Erie Railroad cars, they found every seat taken, some by two +persons, but many by one lady and a bandbox or carpet bag, which was +intended to signify to the inquiring eye that the lawful human occupant +of that half of the seat was absent, but might be expected to come in +and claim it at any moment. + +The three companions understood this conventional imposture, and +politely claimed the spare half seats from the nearest ladies. The fair +occupants looked forbidding, and slowly removed their bandboxes, +baskets, and other parcels, to the floor beneath, or the rack overhead; +and the disturbers of their peace and comfort ruthlessly took the +vacated seats, with a bow, signifying "Thank you." + +The seats thus procured were some distance apart; and so the three +companions were precluded from conversing with each other. This suited +the taciturn mood of each that morning. As for the ladies who filled the +other half of the three seats, they might as well have been lay figures +from a Broadway drygoods store; conversation with them being prohibited +by the etiquette of railway travelling. A man may journey two hundred +and fifty miles in a car, with his elbow unavoidably jogging a lady's +all the way, and still be as far from her acquaintance (unless she is +graciously inclined to say something first) as if the pair were leagues +apart. This is proper, but peculiar. + +The strange sadness that possessed Marcus that morning was intensified +as the ears rolled on. There is something in the monotonous vibration of +the train, and the recurring click of the wheels against the end of the +rails, that provokes melancholy. Marcus looked out of the window at the +flying landscape, and the distant patches of wood which seemed to be +slowly revolving about each other, and was profoundly wretched. He was +totally unconscious of the sharp, pale, nervous face by his side. + +The owner of the face was about thirty-five years old, though the lines +on her brow and cheeks added an apparent five years to her age. If she +had been put upon her trial for murder, the police reporters would have +discovered traces of great beauty in her countenance. An ordinary +spectator, having no occasion to spice a paragraph, would have made the +equivocal remark that she had once been handsomer. + +This lady was dressed plainly, comfortably, and in good taste. Her +hands, ungloved, were shapely, but red and hard with manual labor. On +the second finger of the left hand was a little gold ring, much thinned +by wearing. The eyes of this lady were regarding the unconscious Marcus +obliquely, with a singular expression of mingled recollection and doubt. +Sometimes her glance would drop to the ring, as if that were a link in +the chain of her perplexed reflections. A sudden jolt of the car, as the +train ran over a pole which had fallen on the track, roused Marcus to +the existence of this face and those eyes. + +As he saw the eyes sternly bent on him, he thought that his staring out +of the window, past the lady's profile, might have offended her. So, +with a cough which was meant to serve as an apology for the +unintentional rudeness, he turned his face away, and continued his +gloomy revery among the odd patterns of the oilcloth on the floor of +the aisle. + +Still the thin, nervous lady watched him obliquely. + +A ride of three quarters of an hour brought them to their destination, +as they learned from a preliminary howl of the conductor through the +rear door of the car. The engine bell rang, the whistle screamed, the +clack of the wheels gradually became slower. + +"Only one minute. Hurry!" howled the conductor again. + +Marcus, Tiffles, and Patching were out of their seats and at the door +with American despatch. Before the car had quite stopped, they had +jumped off. Marcus did not notice that, behind him, was a woman +struggling between the two rows of seats with a bandbox, a workbasket, +an umbrella, and her hoops, all of which caught in turn on one side or +the other. Nor did the conductor observe that this burdened and +distressed lady was trying to make her way out; for, after looking from +the rear of the train, and seeing that three persons had landed, and +that there was nobody to get on, he concluded that it would be a waste +of time to stop a minute, and so rang the bell to go ahead. The engine +driver, equally impatient, jerked the starting lever, and the engine +bounded forward like a horse, giving a shock to the train, and nearly +upsetting the woman, who was still wrestling with her personal effects +between the rows of seats. With a sudden effort, she freed herself, +opened the door, and stood upon the platform. + +The engine had wheezed three times, and she hesitated to jump. She +screamed shrilly. The sound entered the ears of Marcus Wilkeson, who was +whisking dust and ashes off his clothes with a handkerchief. He ran +forward, and saw the predicament of his pale and nervous fellow +traveller. She screamed again, as the engine wheezed for the +eighth time. + +Marcus extended his hand. "Jump!" said he; "I'll catch you." + +She did jump, much to the surprise of Marcus and the two lookers +on--thereby indicating decision of character. + +Marcus caught her in his arms--bandbox, basket, and all--and the train +hurried on. + +"Thank you, sir," said the lady, with some confusion. Then she walked +rapidly down the road toward the village, like one who lived there. + +"A customer for the panorama, perhaps," said Tiffles. "I'm glad you +landed her safely." Tiffles had got through his thinking, and was +exhilarate again. He laughed so pleasantly, that even Marcus relaxed his +grim visage, and smiled. + +"Not a bad ankle, that," observed Patching, looking at the rapidly +retreating form of the rescued woman. Patching, artist-like, was always +discovering beauties where nobody else looked for them. + +Marcus had no eye for the charms of nature that morning, and he +responded not to the remark which the artist had addressed to him. +Whereupon Patching determined not to speak to Marcus again that day. + +They followed the mysterious female down the road which led to the +village. On the fences, every few rods, were plastered posters +announcing the "Panorama of Africa" for that evening, at "Washington +Hall"--"Tickets, twenty-five cents"--"Children under twelve years of +age, half price," &c., &c. As B. Persimmon, P.M., had said, in one of +his letters, some of the posters were stuck upside down. This +circumstance did not seem to prevent the population from reading them; +for the party observed at least two boys (half prices) in the act of +spelling them out between their legs. + +Tiffles was so absorbed in the contemplation of the posters, Patching in +a critical survey of the scenery on both sides of the road, and Marcus +Wilkeson in an introspection of his troubled heart, that none of them +observed how often the thin, nervous female, walking rapidly ahead, +looked over her shoulder at one of their number. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +PIGWORTH, J.P. + +The village was composed of the usual ingredients, in the usual +proportions. Law, drygoods, liquor, blacksmithing, carpentry, education, +painting and glazing, medicine, dentistry, tinware, and other comforts +of civilization, were all to be had on reasonable terms. There were four +churches with rival steeples, and two taverns with rival signs. The +village contained everything that any reasonable man could ask for, +except a barber's shop. It takes a good-sized town to support a +barber's shop. + +As they marched into the village, they were conscious of attracting +general attention. Men looked out of the doors, women out of the +windows, and boys had begun to fall in procession behind. + +"Them are the performers," said one boy to another "Wonder what that +feller with the big hat does?" observed a second. "Turns the crank, +guess," was the response. + +Patching pulled his hat farther over his eyes, and smiled gloomily at +Tiffles, "They little think who I am," he murmured. + +"What a solemncholy mug that tall chap's got," said another youthful +citizen. This made Marcus try to laugh genially at the boys. But +in vain. + +"Say, Bill, isn't that little feller's shirt out o' jail?" + +Tiffles made a personal application of this remark. It was his constant +misfortune to suffer rents in portions of his garments where their +existence was least likely to be discovered by himself. As he could not +publicly verify the suggestion of the impertinent small boy, he buttoned +his coat tightly about him. + +How their identity with the panorama of Africa had been established, was +a mystery. Small boys divine secrets by instinct, as birds find food +and water. + +The two taverns were the National House and the United States Hotel. +Although the signs were large and clean, the taverns were small and +dirty. There was no choice between them, except in the fact that the +United States Hotel was directly opposite Washington Hall. Therefore the +adherents of the panorama cast their fortunes with that place of +entertainment for man and beast--particularly beast. + +Mr. Thomas Pigworth, the landlord, was seated on the stoop of his +hostelry, discoursing of national politics to a small group of his +fellow citizens, who were performing acrobatic feats with chairs in a +circle about him. Pigworth was a justice of the peace, and was always +dressed in his best clothes, so as to perform his judicial functions at +a moments notice, with dignity and ease. He was tall, thin, baldheaded. +T.J. Childon, landlord of the "National," said hard things, as in duty +bound, of his rival. Among others, that he had kept himself lean by +running so hard for office for the last ten years. To which slander +Pigworth retorted, that Childon was fat (which was true--a fine, plump +figure was Childon's) only because he ate everything in his house, and +left nothing for his customers. + +The three newcomers mounted the rotten wooden steps to the stoop. Mr. +Pigworth left his group of auditors, came forward, and received them +with the affability of a retired statesman. + +"The landlord?" asked Tiffles. + +"I keep the hotel," said Pigworth, with a smile which intimated that he +kept it for amusement rather than profit. + +"Room and board for three of us?" asked Tiffles. + +"Certainly," said Pigworth, with the air of a man who was doing them a +favor. "Ef you want only one apartment, I can give you the one occupied +last week by the Hon. Mr. Podhammer. You have heard of him?" + +"Of course," responded Tiffles, to cut short the conversation. + +"He spoke in Washington Hall, there, on the Cons'tution. He is smart on +some things, but THE CONS'TUTION he doesn't understand--not a word of +it. I told him so." + +Tiffles was about to ask why, if the Hon. Mr. Podhammer didn't +understand a word of the Constitution, he had the audacity to lecture on +it; when he remembered that it was no uncommon thing for lecturers to +talk of what they don't understand--himself of Africa, for instance. + +"Be good enough to show us the room," said he. + +"I say, Judge" (Pigworth, being a justice of the peace, was universally +styled thus), cried a voice from the group, "do you, or do you not, +indorse my sentiments?" + +Pigworth turned majestically, and spoke like an oracle: + +"I do not indorse your sentiments. I wish it distinctly understood, that +I do not indorse them. I indorse nothing but the Cons'tution. That +instrument I indorse to any extent. Are you satisfied now?" + +This speech was hailed by cries of "Good! good!" "That's so!" "Sound +doctrine, that!" "The Judge knows what's what!" Only one person, the +questioner, a young man with a preternatural head, was unappeased. + +"A single word more," said this young man. "Do you, or do you not, +subscribe to my views on the Homestead Law?" + +Pigworth looked at the three comers as if to say, "Mark how I crush him +now." Then, pointing his long right arm at the rash youth, he replied, +slowly, but with fearful distinctness: "I do not subscribe to your +views. Sooner would I lose this right arm than subscribe to them. There +is only one view that I subscribe to. That view to which I subscribe +(the Judge spoke with increased dignity here, and rose on his +toes)--that view is found in the Cons'tution. You would do well to study +the Cons'tution, my young friend." + +This withering rebuke was greeted with shouts and clapping of hands from +all but the young man, who muttered something about humbug, and +looked glum. + +The landlord had another excoriating remark, which he might have flung +at the young man and finished him up, but he magnanimously forbore. + +"Now, my friends," said the landlord, patronizingly. He ushered them +into a dirty entry, and piloted the way up stairs. + +"From New York, I suppose?" said the landlord. "Any political news?" + +"Really, sir, we don't meddle with politics," replied Tiffles, sharply. + +The landlord looked at him with an expression of pity "Oh! to be sure +not. You belong to the pannyrama. I recolleck that the last circus folks +that come here never talked about politics. Are you Professor Wesley?" + +"I am," said Tiffles. + +"I merely wanted to say," continued the landlord, "that six of my +lodgers are goin' to the pannyrama on my recommendation. I have a wife, +sister-in-law and five children." + +Tiffles took the hint. "I will hand you a complimentary ticket for +yourself and family," said he. + +"Oh, no! by no means!" replied the landlord. "I wouldn't think of taking +it." + +Mr. Pigworth then ushered his guests into the large, uncomfortable +apartment known as the "best room" in all country hotels. The ceiling +was low; there were three windows with small panes, the sashes of which +rattled in the wind; a rag carpet covered the floor; an old bureau, +topped off with a dirty white cloth, a rickety table similarly draped, +four cane-bottomed chairs, and a huge wooden spitbox filled with +sawdust, stood at intervals around. Two single beds occupied +opposite corners. + +With reference to the beds, Mr. Pigworth remarked: + +"Podhammer and Gineral Chetley slept in that air one. Colonel +Hockensacker and Judge Waterfield in t'other. There was four other +mattresses put down here that night, each of 'em with two of our most +distinguished citizens on it. That convention was worth to me a good +hundred dollars." + +With every respect for the precedent established by Podhammer and +associates, Marcus Wilkeson preferred to sleep alone, as he had done for +twenty years. He privately expressed to the landlord a desire for one of +the mattresses which had done duty during the convention. + +The landlord smiled, evidently regarding the request as eccentric and +unreasonable, but nodded "All right." As for Tiffles and Patching, +having shared the same couch several nights during the incubation of the +panorama, the problem of how to distribute three men among two beds +gave them no concern. Pigworth then retired. + +Marcus Wilkeson's first act was to open the windows, and mix some fresh +air with the damp and mouldy atmosphere of the apartment. Patching's +first act was to light his pipe, and throw himself on the nearest bed +for a smoke. Tiffles's first act was to inspect the rent which the +impertinent small boy had discovered, and make temporary repairs with a +pin. Having done these things, and arranged their toilets hastily in a +mirror with a crack running through it like a streak of lightning, the +three adventurers sallied forth, and crossed the street to +Washington Hall. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +STOOP. + +Washington Hall was the only place of public congregation, excepting the +churches, in the village. It was used on Sunday by a small but clamorous +religious sect; on Monday by a lodge of Free Masons; on Tuesday by a +lodge of Odd Fellows; on Wednesday by the Sons of Temperance; and for +the balance of the week was open to any description of exhibition that +came along. It was originally built for a loft, and its reconstruction +into a public hall was an afterthought. It was situated over a drug +store, and was owned by the druggist, Mr. Boolpin, who was universally +regarded as the meanest man in the village. + +As the three drew near the door, Mr. Boolpin, strongly smelling of +aloes, and carrying a pestle in his hand, came out to greet them. He, in +common with all the inhabitants, knew that the "pannyrarmer folks" were +in town. The small boys had borne the glad intelligence all abroad. A +number of citizens, who had been lying in wait, issued forth with Mr. +Boolpin, and looked hard at the three. + +"The proprietor of the hall," said Mr. Boolpin, introducing himself. + +"My name is Wesley," responded Tiffles. He then introduced Patching as +Signor Ceccarini, and Wilkeson as Mr. Wilkes. Patching chuckled inwardly +at the thought of the incognito, and imagined the sensation that would +be produced by the accidental revelation of his real name. Marcus felt a +momentary humiliation at having consented to this innocent imposture. + +Mr. Boolpin, having shaken hands solemnly with the three, asked them to +walk up stairs and look at the hall. They accordingly followed him up a +series of creaking steps. + +"Everything in apple-pie order," said Mr. Boolpin. "The three boxes +containing the panorama right side up with care, you see. I had them +carted from the depot. Cost me a dollar. People thought they were +coffins. Ha! ha! Six new tin candlesticks, you observe; also the ceiling +whitewashed; also ten extra seats introduced, making the entire capacity +of the hall three hundred and fifty--giving twelve inches of sitting +room to each person. No extra charge for these fixings, though I made +them expressly on your account. There are some things about this hall to +which I would call your attention. Boo! Boo! Hallo! Hallo! No echo, you +perceive. Likewise notice the fine view from the window." Mr. Boolpin +pointed to a swamp which could be distinctly seen over a housetop toward +the east. "The ventilation is a great feature, too." Mr. Boolpin +directed his pestle toward a trap door in a corner of the ceiling, +through which a quantity of rain had come a night or two previous, +leaving a large wet patch on the floor. "It's almost too cheap for +fifteen dollars a night." + +"For what?" asked Tiffles. + +"For fifteen dollars," replied Mr. Boolpin, twirling his pestle +playfully. "Of course, not reckoning in the one dollar that you owe me +for cartage. It's too cheap. I ought to have made it twenty dollars." + +"Why, Mr. Persimmon, the postmaster here, engaged the hall for five +dollars. Here is his letter mentioning the price." Tiffles produced the +letter, and pointed out the numeral in question. + +"It's a 5, without any doubt," rejoined Mr. Boolpin; "but Persimmon had +no authority to name that price. I distinctly told him fifteen dollars. +But here he is. Perhaps he can explain it." + +The three turned on their heels, and beheld, standing at the door, a +short, dirty man in a faded suit of black, and a cold-shining satin +vest. He wore an old hat set well back on a bald head, and his cravat +was tied on one side in hangman's fashion. One leg of his trowsers was +tucked into the top of his boot; the other hung down in its proper +position. The man's face and hands wanted washing. This was Mr. +Persimmon, postmaster. The secrets of his popularity were: First, his +addiction to dirt; second, his eccentricities of dress, heretofore +enumerated; third, a reputation for political craft and long-headedness, +not wholly unfounded, as his ingenuity in procuring the passage of +resolutions supporting the policy of the Administration, in all the +conventions of his party since he became postmaster, fully proved. This +political sage walked about town with Post-Office documents and +confidential communications from Washington sticking out of all his +pockets, and under the edge of his hat. He had a slight stoop in the +shoulders, which the local wits said had increased since he undertook to +carry the Administration. + +"Professor Wesley?" remarked Persimmon, extending a grimy hand. "Happy +to see you." + +"Your most obedient," said Tiffles, a little stiffly, for the fifteen +dollars annoyed him. It was a small sum to borrow, but a large one +to pay. + +"Have you such a thing as a morning newspaper about you?" asked the +postmaster. "Our bundle missed the train. As you may naturally imagine, +sir, I am anxious to see how the grand mass meeting went off last night +in your city. Perhaps you wos there?" + +Tiffles had never attended such a thing in his life; although he was +aware that two or three grand mass meetings were held every week about +all the year round, and a dozen nightly in times of political +excitement. "No," said he; "but will you be good enough to tell me how +much you hired this room for?" + +Persimmon thought how culpably ignorant some people were of the great +political movements of the day, but did not say so. Descending from +politics to the subject in hand, he replied: + +"Oh! fifteen dollars, of course. You will find it stated in my last +letter to you." At this moment (no one of the three observing the act), +the long-headed postmaster tipped a slight wink to Mr. Boolpin, who +returned that signal of mutual understanding. + +Tiffles handed the letter to the postmaster, pointing out the figure 5. + +"Can I believe my eyes?" said the postmaster. "True enough, it is a 5. +Confound my absent-mindedness in not puttin' down a 1." It may here be +said, that similar instances of mental aberration were discovered in Mr. +Persimmon's accounts toward the close of his official term. + +Tiffles was staggered, as he reflected that it would take sixty full +tickets to pay the single item of rent. He had less than half a dollar +in his own pocket. Patching was, as usual, reduced to his last +five-dollar bill. Marcus had incidentally observed, a few minutes +before, that he had left his wallet at home, and had only a handful of +small silver about him. Suppose the panorama should fail on the first +night, and be detained for debt! Tiffles had not thought of that. + +Tiffles remonstrated, entreated, suggested compromises, but all to no +purpose. Boolpin was iron. The best arrangement that Tiffles could make, +was to postpone the final settlement of the terms until after the +performance. To that, Boolpin had not the least objection. + +"One thing more," said Boolpin. "If there is a row, and any seats or +windows are broken, you are to pay the damages." + +Tiffles laughed faintly. "Oh! of course," said he. "But you never have +rows here, do you?" He put the question with disguised interest. + +"Sometimes," carelessly replied Mr. Boolpin. "There was a legerdemain +man got his machinery knocked to pieces, and his head broken. The mob +was quite reasonable about the furniture, and smashed only ten seats and +sixteen panes of glass. I charged the Professor twenty dollars for +damages, but took off two dollars on account of his illness. Poor +fellow! he was laid up more than a month. Then there was a band of +nigger minstrels, called the 'Metropoliganians.' They were regular +humbugs; and so the mob took them, and tarred and feathered them in the +back lot. Damage to furniture on that occasion was only sixteen dollars; +and I got every cent of it, by holding on to their trunks. There have +been a good many such little affairs in this village. I mention these +two cases only as examples." + +"And yet no people in the world is more peaceable, nor more easily +satisfied, than the people of this town," said the postmaster. "They +only axes not to be imposed on. That's all." + +"A kinder-hearted people don't live on the face of this earth," added +Boolpin, stating the case in another way; "but you mustn't give them +less than twenty-five cents' worth for a quarter." + +Tiffles replied to the effect that he would give them a dollar's worth +apiece; but, in his heart, he foresaw, with that remarkable prescience +which is occasionally vouchsafed to mortals, that the panorama of Africa +was doomed to be a bad failure; and he bitterly regretted that he had +not tried some one of a dozen other immense speculations which he had +thought of. But he determined to give one night's exhibition, whatever +might be the consequences. "I may as well die for an old sheep as a +lamb," thought Tiffles. + +During this conversation, Patching was secretly studying the effect of +the swamp, visible from the eastern windows; and Marcus was looking at +the cracked wall in a fit of abstraction. + +Tiffles had observed several times, that morning, a youth, or man, of +singular aspect, following him. Occasionally, on turning around +suddenly, he would see this person at his elbow. Looking behind, at the +close of the colloquy with the landlord, he again saw the strange youth, +or man. The being was nearly six feet high, and powerfully built, like a +strong man of twenty-five. His face was childish even to the degree of +silliness. The mouth opened like a flytrap; the eyes were small and +intensely guileless. Only a few wrinkles, and a few hairs, which grew +wide apart on his cheeks and chin, indicated his manhood. But the oddest +feature was the falling away of his forehead, at an angle which a dirty +greased cap, pulled over his brow, could not conceal. + +"Well, sir, what do you want?" said Tiffles. + +"If you please, sir," said the singular being, in a cracked voice, "yure +the pannyrarmer, a'n't ye?" + +"Not exactly, my lad, but I own it. And who are you?" + +"My name's Stoop, if you please, sir." + +Mr. Boolpin broke out with a laugh, which made the building reverberate. +"It's the village idiot," said he. "He goes by the name of Stoop, which +is short for Stupid. Ha! ha! Come, now, clear out, Stupid, and don't be +bothering the gentleman." + +The boy-man began to whimper, when Tiffles, recollecting an allusion to +a semi-idiot in one of the postmaster's letters, said: + +"Stay, my lad; I believe I owe you something." + +"For pastin' up two hundred posters, fifty cents; and distributin' five +hundred bills, twenty-five cents. Totale, seventy-five cents." The idiot +did not hold out his hand for the pay, and Tiffles conceived an instant +esteem for him. An idea came to Tiffles. This idiot, as he was called, +had shown intelligence in reckoning. He might have a deal of good sense +under that dull exterior. Tiffles had observed, in his travels, that +_the_ idiot which Providence assigns to every town and village, is not +always the biggest fool in it. This idiot might have sufficient +intellect to turn the crank of the panorama, and render muscular aid in +other respects. At any rate, he was able-bodied enough. + +"My lad," said Tiffles. + +"Stoop, if you please, sir." + +"Very good. Stoop, I think I can find some work for you behind the +scenes to-night. Can you turn a crank?" + +"I've done it to grindstones, sir." + +"It's the same principle," said Tiffles, laughing. "I'll engage you." + +The idiot took off his greasy cap, and swung it in the air with joy. A +smile irradiated his great, coarse face, and his small eyes twinkled. +"Gosh golly!" he cried; "I'm goin' to be one of the performers. I'm +so glad!" + +He said this, in a spirit of juvenile exultation, to the dozen boys who +stood gaping in at the doorway. This innocent bit of boasting provoked +their derisive laughter, and a quantity of playful epithets and +nicknames, which the idiot endured with marvellous patience, until one +dirty little boy put the thumb of his left hand to his nose, twirled the +fingers, and said, "Boo! boo! boo!" This act had the same effect on poor +Stoop as the shaking of a red handkerchief at a bull. It enraged him. He +sprang at the youth, and, but for the sudden closing of the door by the +offender, who had judiciously kept a hand on the knob, would have +chastised him on the spot. + +The door not only arrested his progress, but suddenly checked his wrath. +"I'm very sorry, indeed, Professor," said he; "but Gorrifus! it makes +me so mad!" + +Messrs. Boolpin and Persimmon laughed heartily. "He's a perfect idiot, +you see," remarked the former. "Coming the nose system at him always +makes him mad." + +Tiffles did not understand how that was any proof of idiocy; but, to +prevent the recurrence of any difficulty between his new assistant and +the populace of small boys, he thought it best to take possession of the +hall, and lock the door. He therefore signified to Mr. Boolpin that they +would at once proceed to put up the panorama. Tiffles threw off his +coat, thereby intimating that he would go to work at once. + +Messrs. Boolpin and Persimmon inquired, as a matter of form, whether +their further assistance was needed, and were answered in the negative. +Whereupon they retired--Mr. Boolpin uttering a farewell caution against +driving more nails in the wall than were necessary, and not to cut the +floor under any circumstances--and the panorama and its adherents were +left alone. + +Mr. Boolpin had driven the uproarious boys before him with his pestle, +administering smart taps to the reluctant ones. Tiffles suffered no +further annoyance from them that day, save an occasional "Boo! boo!" +shouted through the keyhole, and followed by an immediate scampering of +the perpetrators down stairs. This well-known sound always roused the +idiot to fury; and the peaceable persuasions, and even the gentle +violence of Tiffles, were needed to keep him from relinquishing his work +and springing to the door. + +He was a most intelligent and useful idiot. He could measure distances +more accurately than either of the three, and could ply the saw, hammer, +plane, or hatchet (Tiffles brought all these tools with him) like a +carpenter. His strength and skill were so great, that Tiffles found +himself gratefully relieved from the necessity of lifting, or directing. +Marcus Wilkeson, who had also thrown off his coat with a manful +determination to do a hard day's work, in the hope of tiring out and +driving away the sadness that possessed him, put on the garment again, +and sat on a front bench, vacantly staring like an idiot at the idiot, +and all the while thinking, gloomily, of New York. Patching stalked +about the hall, and criticized the work as it progressed, from numerous +angles of observation; but even he confessed that he could make no +improvement on Stoop's highly artistic disposition of things. + +The idiot worked on steadily and swiftly, and only two things +interrupted him. The first was the "Boo!" yelled through the keyhole, as +heretofore described. The second was the unrolling of portions of the +panorama as they were taken out of the boxes, fastened together, and +attached to the rollers. + +As the canvas was unwound, Stoop would drop his saw, or hammer, or other +tool, and gaze, with his large mouth and small eyes wide open, at the +pictorial marvels successively disclosed. "Blame it!" said he; "a'n't +that splendid?" or, "By jingo! look at that!" or, "Thunder! don't that +beat all?" The tigers' tails and the elephants' trunks, the alligators' +snouts and the boa constrictor's convolutions, he recognized at once. He +had "read all about 'em in Olney's Jogriffy." + +"He is an idiot of taste," thought Patching. "I wonder what they call +him an idiot for?" thought Tiffles. "It's a pity all the people aren't +idiots," said Marcus Wilkeson to Tiffles. "Your panorama would be +patronized and appreciated then." It was Marcus's first approach to a +joke that day. + +By four o'clock in the afternoon the Panorama of Africa was all up, the +rollers and the curtain in good working order, and everything ready for +the eventful night. Stoop had taken a lesson at the wheel, and turned it +beautifully. Tiffles had arranged a system of signals with him. One +cough was "Stop;" two coughs were "Go on;" one stamp was "Slower;" two, +stamps were "Faster." Tiffles and Stoop rehearsed the system several +times, the one being before the curtain, in the position of the +lecturer, and the other behind it, at the crank. Nothing could be more +satisfactory. + +"Only one thing puzzles me," said Tiffles to his friends. "Why do they +call this smart fellow an idiot?" + + + +CHAPTER V. + +AN AUDIENCE ANALYZED. + +The eventful night came on. Tiffles and friends fortified themselves +with a poor supper, including numerous cups of weak black tea, at the +hotel, and repaired, full of anxiety and misgivings, to the hall. The +idiotic but intelligent Stoop had remained in charge of the panorama, +and feasted himself, intellectually, upon the splendors of that work of +Art, as disclosed by a single candle in front. + +All the candles in the hall and the entry were then lighted up, and +produced quite a gorgeous illumination of the four windows fronting on +the main street. This having been done, Marcus (who, having a more +extensive acquaintance with the faces of bank bills than either of his +friends, had kindly consented to act as money taker and cashier) took +his seat in a little box with a pigeon hole in it, and his entire stock +of loose change, amounting to seventy-five cents in silver, spread +before him. Tiffles stood within the door of the hall, to see that +nobody came in (especially small boys) who had not paid. Stoop remained +behind the scenes, and was positively instructed to stay there. Patching +wandered up and down the hall, as if he were an early comer, and had +paid his quarter, and had no personal knowledge of or interest in +the panorama. + +Performance was to commence at 8 o'clock. Doors were open at 61/2. Some +time previous to that hour, the stairs leading from the street door to +the hall were lined with the lads of the village, who amused themselves +with making jocular remarks about "the man in the cage there" (meaning +Marcus), and "t'other man at the door, whose shirt was out of jail" +(meaning Tiffles). Marcus smiled grimly at his assailants through the +small pigeon hole; and Tiffles, who felt reckless in the sure view of a +failure, laughed heartily at them, returned jokes as bad as they sent, +but, in the height of his humor, begged them distinctly to understand +that they could not get In without paying. At which the juvenile chorus +sarcastically replied, "P'r'aps not;" "Mebbe you're right," "You'll have +to stop up the keyhole, Mister;" "Mind I don't get down the +chimbley," &c., &c. + +At precisely forty-seven minutes past six, the first man made his +appearance. He was a thick-set, pompous individual, with a gold-headed +cane and gold spectacles, and climbed up the stairs with dignity and +difficulty. He was followed by a pale little woman, four small children, +and a stout, red-haired nurse, bearing in her arms a baby, which was +laboring under an attack of the intermittent squalls. Marcus +reconnoitred the party through his pigeon hole, and nervously jingled +the seventy-five cents in his hand. Tiffles stepped forward to the head +of the stairs, in order that he might not be wanting in personal respect +to his first patron. + +As this thick-set man ascended the stairs, the boys hushed their voices; +but Tiffles distinctly heard several of them say, "It's the Square." +Though apparently awestruck in his presence, the boys did not forget to +play a few practical jokes on "the Square's" children, such as slapping +them, and pinching their legs as they clambered wearily up. A peal of +cries from his tortured offspring, particularly the baby, who received a +pin in a sensitive part of its little person, so enraged "the Square," +that he would have beaten all the boys with his gold-headed cane, had +they not jumped away, laughing, and got safely out of the building, only +to be back again the next minute. + +"You should not allow these boys to hang around the stairs, sir," said +the pompous man, planting his foot on the topmost step, and bringing +down his cane on the floor with the ring of a watchman's club. "It's +trouble enough to come to your panorama, without being annoyed by all +the young vagabonds in the village." + +"I'm sorry, sir," replied Tiffles, inwardly laughing, "but it would take +six strong men to regulate the little rascals." + +"Then you ought to employ six strong men, sir. It's your business to see +that your patrons are not insulted." + +Tiffles could only smile deprecatingly. + +"Every exhibition in this hall, for a year past," continued the man, +"has been a humbug--an outrage on the common sense of mankind. Perhaps +yours is an exception, though, to be candid, I have my doubts of it. Do +I understand, sir, that you have travelled in Africa?" + +Tiffles indulged in the unjustifiable deception of nodding his head. + +"And you mean to say that the sketches for this panorama were taken on +the spot?" + +"Yes, sir; on the spot--in a horn." + +"In a horn! What's that?" + +"A technical phrase, sir, which it is hardly worth while to explain at +length. Briefly, however, I may say, that no more ingenious or +satisfactory mode of taking sketches has been invented." + +"Oh! never mind the details. I hate the jargon of Art. I only wished to +assure myself that I am not to be imposed on. Well, I think I will risk +it, and go in. You can put us on a front seat, I suppose?" + +"First come, first served," said Tiffles, amiably, for he had reckoned +up, and found that this party brought him a dollar and a quarter, +counting the children as half prices, and the baby free. + +"Under these circumstances we will go in, though I must confess I expect +to be disappointed. You will excuse my plain speaking." The thick-set +gentleman thereupon thrust a hand into a pocket, and produced--not a +huge roll of bank bills, or a half pint of silver, as Marcus, who eyed +him sharply through the pigeon hole, had expected, but--a card, which he +poked at Tiffles. + +Tiffles recognized it at the first glance. It was one of thirty +complimentary tickets that he had caused to be distributed among the +leading men of the village that morning, by advice of the landlord; and +it bore the name of "C. Skimmerhorn, Esq." + +"Welcome, sir, welcome!" said Tiffles, as he observed the dollar and a +quarter disappear from his mental horizon, and felt that, but for his +indomitable good nature, he would like to kick C. Skimmerhorn, Esq., +down stairs. And Tiffles, nobly concealing his disappointment, showed C. +Skimmerhorn, Esq., and his domestic caravan to the best front seat. As +he turned back to the door, he heard that gentleman say to his spouse, +"That fellow looks like a humbug." + +A stream of people on the stairs gladdened his eyes. In one sweeping +survey, he figured up three dollars. But they proved to be three +clergymen, with faded wives, large families, and female relatives +stopping with them. Each of the clergymen graciously informed Tiffles, +on delivering up his family ticket, that a panorama was one of the few +secular entertainments that he could consent to patronize. They doubted +very much whether they could have been persuaded to come, but for the +recommendation of their evangelical brethren in the city. + +Tiffles bowed acknowledgment of the empty honor, and ushered the three +clergymen and families to the front row of seats, of which C. +Skimmerhorn, Esq., and his train, occupied as much as they could cover +by spreading out. Mr. Skimmerhorn recognized, in one of the clergymen, +his beloved pastor, and proceeded, in a pleasant, off-hand manner, and a +loud voice, to give a few of the reasons which inclined him to pronounce +the panorama a humbug. + +"Being deadheads," sarcastically observed Tiffles to Marcus Wilkeson, +"of course they come early, and take the best seats." + +The next customer was a poor but jovial mechanic, having a red-faced +little wife slung on his arm. This humble individual paid down fifty +cents in bright new silver to the grim treasurer, entered the hall, and +took seats about halfway up. "It's a splendid affair, Sally, this 'ere +pannyrammer, I'll bet anything." "Sha'n't we enjoy it, John!" returned +that healthy young woman. + +More work for the amiable Tiffles, but none for the melancholy +Wilkeson. Two more clergymen with families, the County Judge, the local +railroad agent, all the members of the Board of Freeholders, and several +other people, who, according to the landlord of the United States Hotel, +were highly influential in moulding public opinion, and were in the +habit of receiving free tickets. + +"Very good for a school of comparative anatomy," said Tiffles to Marcus +(in facetious allusion to the deadheads), "but decidedly bad for my +panorama." + +Marcus responded with a dreary smile through the pigeon hole. + +Then there came a few more mechanics and other plain people, and then a +streak of fortune--an entire young ladies' seminary, headed by the +preceptress, and divided into squads, each commanded by an assistant +teacher acting as drill sergeant. They were admitted at half price (as +per advertisement), and brought five dollars and sixty-two cents into +the treasury. Tiffles rubbed his eyes at the sight of such a troop of +blooming faces, and his hands at the thought of the grand accession to +his cash box. The female seminary was accommodated with the two front +rows of the best seats left. + +Following the seminary, in an unprecedented sequence of luck, was a +boys' school, that came whooping up the stairway like a tribe of young +Indians, in charge of a venerable sachem in spectacles. In the rush and +excitement of the moment, several of them ran toll--a circumstance of +which the old gentleman did not take cognizance when he settled with +Marcus Wilkeson for their admission at twelve and a half cents _per +capita_. Marcus had not noticed it, and Tiffles was far too generous to +make a fuss about a few shillings. + +Then a party of six flashily dressed young men, who threw away their +cigars as they came up stairs, and thrust their quarters through the +pigeon hole at Marcus Wilkeson, as if they were good for nothing--which +proved to be true of two of them. Being informed of the fact by Marcus, +the owners of the counterfeits winked at each other, and whispered, "No +go," and then offered a broken bill on a Connecticut bank. This also +proved "no go," whereat the sharp practitioners winked again and +laughed, and this time paid out good current coin. These were some of +the fast men of the village. They took seats behind the female seminary. + +Luck changed again, and brought in the landlord, Mr. Persimmon, P.M., +Mr. Boolpin, and three more free tickets, with their wives and families. +Mr. Boolpin whispered in Tiffles's ear, that he hoped there wouldn't be +a row; but it was a hard-looking crowd that had just gone in ahead of +him. And there were plenty more of them coming. + +The latter observation proved true. The next minute, the stairs swarmed +with a jovial party, under the leadership of a gorgeous person, who wore +in the middle of his snowy shirt front a cluster diamond pin larger than +a ten-cent piece. This was one of the gentlemanly conductors on the +railroad; and the mixed company which he had the honor to command, was +composed of ticket sellers, freight masters, brakemen, civil engineers, +and clerks of liberal dispositions and small salaries in various walks +of life. The party was slightly drunk, but not offensive. The +gentlemanly conductor paid for himself and associates out of a huge side +pocket full of loose silver. They rolled up the hall, and took the +nearest spare seats to the female seminary. + +Seven and three quarters P.M. arrived. The people in the hall began to +stamp with a noise like thunder. Tiffles had marked the heavy boots of +the conductor, and could recognize them in the din. Several deep hisses +varied the monotony of the performance. There were no persons coming up +stairs. The small boys, Tiffles observed with astonishment, had vacated +the building some time before, and could now be heard whispering quietly +around the door below. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +HUMOUS OF THE MANY-HEADED. + +Tiffles knew that his time had come, and he accepted the crisis. + +Requesting Marcus to pocket the funds, shut up the shop, and leave the +door to take care of itself, Tiffles marched boldly to his doom. +Previous to extinguishing the candles in the exhibition hall, he went +behind the curtain, and there found the idiot sitting patiently at the +crank, and rehearsing, in a low tone, the code of signals which had been +adopted. Patching was also there. He shrugged his shoulders in the +French style as Tiffles came in, but said not a word. Tiffles proceeded +straight to a bottle which stood on a window sill, and took a long drink +from it, and then passed it to Patching, who mutely did the same, and, +in turn, handed it to the idiot, who pulled at it with great gusto, in +the manner of a rational person. + +Feeling that it would be superfluous to repeat his instructions to so +sagacious an idiot, Tiffles immediately presented himself before the +audience again, with a long stick, or wand, for pointing out the +beauties of the panorama. + +"Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to exhibit to you the Panorama of +Africa. You have all heard of Africa." + +VOICE. "Consider'ble." + +"True, my friend; therefore you will be well prepared to enjoy the +pictorial attractions which I am about to unfold." + +VOICE. "H'ist the rag." + +"My friend--who has no doubt paid his quarter--I respect your request. +The rag _is_ about to be h'isted. But, before that ceremony is proceeded +with, I would ask the gentlemen sitting nearest the candles to be good +enough to blow them out." + +Never was request more cheerfully complied with. There was a scramble of +six or seven tall young men to each candle; and, at several of the +candles, a brisk but friendly struggle took place between rival +aspirants for the privilege. The room was then in total darkness, save a +small gleam which came through the partly opened door from a solitary +tallow in the entry, and the dull reflection of the panorama lights +through the curtain. + +Some of the effects of this sudden extinguishment were extraordinary. +The female seminary all screamed slightly. The boys' school all laughed, +and several were heard to say, "Prime fun, a'n't it?" The railroad +conductor and his friends coughed fictitiously, and said, "Oh! oh!" +"A'n't you ashamed!" "Look out for pockets!" "Thief in the house!" and +other playful things, which put the entire audience in good humor. But +the strangest and most unexpected occurrence, was a grand rush, as of a +herd of wild bulls, on the stairs, accompanied by the dousing of the one +remaining light in the entry. Another moment, and over a hundred of the +choicest juvenile spirits tore into the hall, and knocked over each +other and everybody else in a frantic contest for free seats. The young +ladies' seminary screamed in concert, and all the elderly ladies cried, +"Oh my!" "Good gracious!" "What's that?" + +"Only the boys," said Tiffles, with unruffled composure. "Let them come. +It is a moral entertainment, and will do them good." + +After a pause of about three minutes, giving the boys time to seat +themselves, and the screams, mutterings, and laughter of the rest of the +audience to die away, Tiffles said: + +"Now, ladies and gentlemen, I will introduce you to sunrise, in the +Bight of Benin." + +This was the preconcerted signal for the raising of the curtain, which +office was performed by Patching, without a hitch. The gorgeous proem, +or introduction to the panorama, was then for the first time disclosed +to the public. Patching blushed as he thought of the vile pandering to +popular taste of which he had been guilty. + +There was a dead calm for a minute. Tiffles was silent, in order that he +might not interrupt the quiet admiration of the spectators. The +spectators were silent, because they could not exactly understand the +scene, and did not know whether to laugh, hiss, or applaud. The silence +was broken, by a boy in the back part of the hall: + +"I say, Mister, is that a cartwheel on top of a stonewall?" + +"No, sonny not exactly," said Tiffles. "What your uneducated eyes +mistake for a cartwheel is the rising sun. The objects that your +immature judgment confounds with spokes, are rays. Your stone wall, it +is hardly necessary to inform riper intellects, is a distant range of +mountains. It is one of Ceccarini's happiest efforts." + +"Hurrah for Checkerberry!" cried another lad, mistaking the name of the +high (imaginary) Italian artist. + +"Are we to understand, sir, that this is a rolling prairie in the +foreground?" asked a deep voice, which Tiffles at once recognized as +emanating from C. Skimmerhorn, Esq. + +"Oh! no, sir; it is the Bight of Benin; and I must say, though, perhaps, +I am too partial, that Ceccarini never did a better thing." + +"The _what_ of Benin?" asked the voice. + +"The Bight--or, in other words, as you may not be familiar with +geography, the Bay of Benin." + +"Then why not say Bay, sir?" replied C. Skimmerhorn Esq., stung with the +allusion to his want of geographical knowledge. "Why this mystery +about terms!" + +There were cries of "Go it, Square." "Dry up, old boy!" "Propel with the +show!" &c., &c. Tiffles adopted the latter suggestion, and without +answering the lawyer's insinuation, proceeded to point out the natural +appearance of the waves, the truthfulness of the distant mountains, the +absolute fidelity of the sunrise. "And here let me answer an +objection in advance. It may be said that this sunrise does not +look like a sunrise in Jersey. Admit it. Neither do the snakes +(_sensation_)--neither do the snakes which I am about, to exhibit +(_increased sensation_ and Oh! me's! from the Young Ladies' Seminary) +resemble the familiar green or striped serpent of your own peaceful +fields. Neither do the tigers, which I shall presently have the honor of +showing to you _(renewed sensation)_, bear any marked affinity to the +serene woodchuck that burrows in your happy hills. The sunrises and +sunsets, the boa constrictors, the tigers, and the other phenomena of +Africa, are all immense, gorgeous, and peculiar. They must be judged by +themselves, and not by comparison. My hearers will be kind enough to +bear this in mind, as we go on." + +He then went on to repeat a great many statistics concerning the +population and resources of Africa. He had read up for these facts and +figures, under the impression that they would interest the solid portion +of his audience. But he soon found out that he interested nobody +(perhaps because the solid portion of audiences is a myth), and finally +yielded to general requests of "Push ahead!" "Fire away!" "Start your +train!" (the latter from the gentlemanly conductor and friends.) + +Tiffles therefore whistled once, and the panorama commenced moving +slowly and steadily. The idiot, the rollers, and the lights, all +worked well. + +From the Bight of Benin, the voyaging spectators took an excursion up +the river. + +The uninterrupted stretch of deep blue for water, and light blue for +sky, and green for the farther bank, with occasional palm trees looking +like long-handled pickaxes, seemed to satisfy them. At any rate they +looked on, and found no fault in words; which both Tiffles and Patching +took for an auspicious sign. Tiffles kept step with his explanations. + +His method was this. When the palm tree came in sight, he would give a +minute account of that noble tropical growth, and the many uses to which +it and its products could be put. When a flock of wild ducks appeared +sailing majestically on the river, he would entertain his auditors with +a circumstantial description of how the natives caught wild ducks. A +boat or hollow log, with a human figure, suggested a reference to the +progress which the African had made in marine architecture and the +science of navigation. In this way, Tiffles thought he was beguiling his +customers. Some low sounds, like suppressed hisses, soon convinced him +of his error. + +"I beg your pardon, Professor," said a thick-set voice, which he always +recognized as coming from C. Skimmerhorn, Esq.; "but it seems to me that +this portion of your panorama is a little monotonous. I presume that in +this suggestion, I express the sentiments of my fellow citizens here +assembled." Cries of "Go on, Square!" "That's so!" mingled with a +vigorous stamping of feet and catcalls from the boys in the background, +proved, alas! the truth of the conjecture. + +Tiffles coughed twice for the idiot to stop, and was sagaciously obeyed. +"In behalf of Africa," he remarked, "representing her, as I may say, on +this occasion, I would beg leave to apologize to the learned gentleman +for the poverty of her scenery, at this stage of the panorama. If Africa +had been aware of the learned gentleman's preferences, she would, +doubtless, have got up some stunning effects for him in places where now +you see only a river, a sky, and a strip of green bank, all unadorned, +precisely as they are." + +The exquisite irony of this retort pleased the audience, and elicited +general though faint applause, and several cries of "Shut up, Skim!" +"Got your match, old boy!" "Oh! let the man go on!" The last remark +issued from the gentlemanly conductor, and fell with peculiar pleasure +on Tiffles's ears. + +"One word more, and I am done," resumed the lawyer, who was +professionally calm amid scenes of disturbance. "I only wish to elicit +the truth. Have you, and your artist (Mr. Chicory, I think you call +him), or either of you, actually gone over the scenery here represented. +We wish to understand that point!" + +"We have, both of us, gone over this scenery repeatedly." This was true, +as both Tiffles and Patching, anticipating some such question, had +stepped over the canvas back and forth, in rolling and unrolling it, +several times. "Is the eminent counsellor satisfied?" + +"Oh! yes," said C. Skimmerhorn, Esq., in a voice which signified that +he knew the panorama was a humbug, but, unfortunately, couldn't +prove it. + +One cough, and the panorama started again--but a little too fast. +Tiffles stamped once, and the idiot reduced the speed, until it was too +slow. Two stamps brought it right. The river soon disappeared in a +swamp, where the alligators' heads protruding above the water gave +Tiffles an opportunity to describe several terrific combats which he had +enjoyed with those pugnacious creatures. This entertained the audience +for several minutes. + +"Have you no full views of alligators, sir?" asked a voice which Tiffles +presumed, from its solemn inflection, to come from a clergyman. + +"None at all, sir. The African alligator persists in keeping out of +sight. You never see anything but his head--except his tail, as +represented here." Tiffles pointed with his wand to something that +looked like the end of a fence rail sticking out of the water. "True +Art, sir, sacrifices effect for Truth." + +"Certainly, sir. Truth is what we are all after," replied the clergyman. +But there was an indefinable something in his voice that indicated a +wish for more alligator--much more. + +The swamp ended in a dry jungle, interspersed with palm trees, +elephants, lions, tigers, and serpents. Tiffles counted upon interesting +his audience here. Snakes were first on the list. Two heads, with +expanded jaws and forked tongues, were looking at each other above the +jungle, and two tails were interlocked, also above the jungle, a few +feet off. This conveyed the idea of two boa constrictors fighting. Other +heads and other tails--there was always a tail for every head--stuck up +at regular intervals about. He stopped the panorama with a cough, +and said: + +"The entire population of this particular jungle are--boa constrictors +of unprecedented size and ferocity." + +Tiffles heard a rustle of fans and dresses not far off. It was the +whole female seminary shuddering. There was also a general movement +throughout the audience as of people adjusting themselves to obtain a +good sight. + +"These boa constrictors, so admirably delineated here,"--commenced +Tiffles. + +"Where?" said the voice of a country gentleman. "I don't see any bore +constructors." + +"Nor I." "Nor I." "Trot 'em out!" "Show 'em up!" "Produce your snakes!" +Such were the remarks that resounded through the hall. + +"Oh, no!" "Don't!" "Please don't!" emanated from several girlish voices. + +"My fair auditors have no cause for alarm. I have no living snakes to +show. I might have captured several hundred, and brought them to this +country and exhibited them, but, in deference to the well-known aversion +cherished toward snakes by cultivated communities, I forbore to do so. +The only boa constrictors that I have, are now before you. These are +their heads. These their tails" (indicating the termini of the snakes). + +Now, the spectators--or a large number of them--had suffered fearful +expectations of seeing real snakes. When, therefore, it was announced +that these harmless daubs, resembling, at a distance, some variety of +tropical vegetation, were the only snakes they were to see, there was a +feeling, first, of relief, and then of disappointment. + +The disappointment manifested itself in low hisses, and exclamations, +such as "Humbug!" "Gammon!" "Swindle!" Tiffles made several beginnings +of excellent snake stories, of which he was the hero, but was checked by +the tumult. Finding the snakes were not popular, he determined to try +the tigers, lions, and other beasts of prey farther on. He coughed once +emphatically, and the canvas moved like clockwork. + +Before it had journeyed five feet, somebody on the front row of seats +coughed twice in precisely the same manner as Tiffles. The idiot, +supposing the signal came from his employer, stopped. Tiffles, +perceiving the mistake, coughed again, and the motion was resumed; when +a double cough resounded from the front seat, and the motion ceased. + +Then Tiffles realized that his system of signals was understood by +somebody. What should he do? He could not stop the free, universal right +to cough. Therefore he stepped to the corner of the curtain, raised it, +and said, in a voice loud enough to be heard by the audience, "Stoop, +whenever I want you to 'stop,' or 'go on,' or 'faster,' or 'slower,' I +will say so. You understand?" + +"Puffickly," replied the gifted idiot. + +"I say, boys, Stoop's in there," shouted the somebody that had coughed. + +"Stoop!" "Stoop!" "Bully for Stoop!" "Come out o' that, Stoop!" was +shouted all over the house; but Stoop remained faithful to his post, and +calmly ground away at the crank. + +Suddenly it occurred to some boy to yell, "Boo! boo!" whereat the other +boys laughed, and took up the chorus, "Boo! boo!" + +The canvas moved less steadily, slackening for a moment, and then +shooting ahead, as if the propelling power were the subject of strange +perturbation. The roguish boys, and the men too, and, chief of them, +that practical humorist of a conductor, observing this, screamed, "Boo! +boo! boo I boo!" all the louder. Tiffles knew that the critical time had +come, and philosophically laughed at the ruin of his last grand project, +as he had laughed at the ruin of forty other grand projects in +their day. + +The panorama stopped without a signal this time. A hoarse voice +screamed, "Gorryfus! Gosh thunder! By jimminy!" The curtain was jerked +aside, and Stoop rushed into the hall like a fury. Coming out of a place +partly lighted into one totally dark, his first move was to run blindly +into Tiffles, nearly knocking that gentleman off his legs. + +"Hold on, Stoop! Hold on!" shouted Tiffles, with what was left of his +breath. But the idiot only screamed, "Gosh thunder! Gorryfus!" and +darted for the main aisle, intending to run a muck among his +persecutors. There was a general scrambling of the boys to avoid this +incarnated wrath. The whole female seminary, and all the ladies present, +screamed together. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +SCENES NOT IN THE BILLS. + +The enraged idiot struck out right and left, without hurting +anybody--the objects of his vengeance contriving to elude him in the +dark. Most of the sturdy blows which he dealt, using his arms like +flails, fell upon the railings of the seats, and only bruised his hands. +Just as he had caught a boy by the collar, and was about to take a twist +in his hair, the door opened, and a light appeared. It came from three +candles borne by three men. + +This apparition caused the furious idiot to suspend hostilities on the +instant. + +All eyes were turned toward the three men. All voices were hushed. There +was a whisper in the air that something strange was about to happen. + +The man who entered first was a stranger, who moved and looked about in +the quick, nervous way born of city life. The other two men were +well-known residents of the village. Some of the audience had had +unpleasant cause to know them. + +Having locked the door, and stationed his associates in a position to +command the windows, the stranger walked quickly up the aisle, bearing +his lighted candle, and said, in a loud voice, which fell strangely on +the hushed assemblage: + +"Marcus Wilkeson will be kind enough to give himself up. Upon my honor, +he cannot escape." This was said with a charming politeness. + +A tall figure arose at the wall end of one of the back seats. "I am +Marcus Wilkeson. What do you want with me, sir?" His voice trembled, and +his face was livid. + +"To go with me to New York, Mr. Wilkeson," said the tall stranger, +quickly. "Thank you for your promptness in answering. The only clue that +I had, was the hasty measure I took of you this morning, when I was +watching for an escaped convict at Cortlandt-street ferry. Perhaps you +remember seeing me there, sir?" + +Marcus, though the sudden shock had almost stunned him, at once recalled +the man who had eyed him narrowly at the ferry that morning. + +The two other candle bearers had stepped forward as Marcus declared +himself, and were about to lay hold of him, when the first man smilingly +pushed them back, and said: + +"Don't touch him. It's all right. Mr. Wilkeson is a gentleman, and will +go quietly." + +To Marcus he said, apologetically: + +"Two Jersey constables I got to assist me. They don't do things exactly +in the style of Detective Leffingwell." + +Marcus recognized the name; and so terrified was he at the thoughts +which it conjured up, that his tongue clove to the roof of his mouth. +The scene was like a horrid dream. + +"Everything is regular, sir," continued the detective. "We have a +requisition for you from the Governor of this State. It was obtained by +telegraph from Trenton. You will excuse my dropping on you in this way; +but I wanted to take you to New York to-night, as the inquest meets +again at ten o'clock to-morrow morning." + +"The inquest!--what inquest? Tell me, in God's name!" said Marcus, +finding his voice at last. + +"Inquest! There must have been a murder committed." "What is it?" "Tell +us, Mr. Policeman." The question was asked on all sides. + +"Now I _didn't_ want a scene," said Detective Leffingwell, politely, +"and I won't have one. Mr. Wilkeson and I understand each other. The +word 'inquest' dropped out of my mouth before I thought." + +"As heaven is above us, we do not understand each other!" said Marcus. +"Tell me, pray tell me at once, or I shall go mad." + +"Anything to please you," replied the officer; "but I can't bear these +explanations in public. It isn't my way of doing business." He then +leaned forward, and whispered in the ear of Marcus. + +"Great God!" was all that Marcus could say. Then he sank to the seat, +and bowed his head in agony. + +Tiffles, who had forced his way to his friend's side during the +excitement, threw his arms about him, and said: + +"Never mind appearances, Marcus. I'll stake my life you are innocent of +the charge, whatever it is." + +"Oh! you're a humbug," remarked C. Skimmerhorn, Esq. + +"Call me and my panorama a humbug, if you please; but Mr. Wilkeson is a +gentleman and a man of honor." Tiffles's face beamed with a strange +kindness. He looked up, and saw the idiot standing near him. His small +eyes filled with tears as he gazed with an expression of intelligent +pity at the crushed man. Tiffles could have hugged the idiot, not only +as the most sensible man, but the best-hearted one he had seen in +the village. + +C. Skimmerhorn, Esq., would have retorted severely, but his attention, +and that of all the crowd, was drawn, at that moment, to a citizen who +came forward, and, in a state of beathless excitement, said he guessed +he knew what it all meant. He was in New York that afternoon, and read, +in one of the evening papers, an account of a dreadful murder committed +on an old man named Minford. The supposed murderer, the paper said, was +a Mr. Wilkes or Wilkson. + +"Now I hope you are satisfied," said Detective Leffingwell, looking +around with contempt at his hearers. + +A slight scream was heard from the corner of a seat near by. From the +beginning of this unpleasant affair, it was observed that a plainly +dressed woman--a seamstress accompanying the family of a Mr. Graft--had +become very pale and nervous, and had been seen to move uneasily in her +seat. This woman had fainted away. She it was who had stared so +strangely at Marcus in the car that morning. + +Mrs. Graft and her two daughters promptly removed the fainting woman to +the entry, where the fresh air soon restored her, and she was sent home. + +"No wonder the women faint away, when you crowd round here so stupidly," +said the officer, momentarily losing his temper. "Please step back, now, +and let Mr. Wilkeson and me get out. We must leave for New York by the +next train--and that starts in fifteen minutes." The detective referred +to his watch. "Are you ready, sir?" tapping Marcus gently on +the shoulder. + +Marcus rose, and displayed a face haggard with grief. + +They all whispered, or thought, "He is guilty." + +"I am ready," said he; "but I call heaven to witness that I know nothing +of this crime." + +The detective bowed courteously, and then said: + +"I also have summons for Mr. Tiffles and Mr. Patching, gentlemen +connected with this panorama, as witnesses. They will please +step forward." + +"I am Mr. Tiffles," said that person. "Wesley is my panoramic name." + +This disclosure caused a small sensation. "I knew the man was a humbug +from the start," whispered C. Skimmerhorn, Esq., to a friend at his +elbow. "I'd like to prosecute him for swindling." + +"And I am Mr. Patching," exclaimed the artist, presenting himself. + +It should be here stated, that, when the disturbances of the evening +first set in, Patching, in pure disgust at the bad taste of the +audience, had quietly dropped himself out of the second story window at +the rear of the stage, and had been skulking in the back lot ever since. +Having heard, outside, of the arrest of Marcus Wilkeson, on an unknown +charge, he had plucked up courage and friendship enough to reenter the +hall, and tender his aid and consolation to that unhappy man. He came in +just in time to hear his name called. + +"So that's the chap they called Chicory, or Checkerberry," whispered C. +Skimmerhorn, Esq. "Anybody can see he is a swindler by his slouched hat, +and beard. _Shouldn't_ I enjoy having a good case against him!" + +Pigworth, J. P., landlord of the United States Hotel, and Mr. Boolpin, +proprietor, came forward with their little bills, and demanded immediate +payment. This financial difficulty was arranged in one minute by the +genius of Wesley Tiffles. After paying Stoop one dollar and a half (that +excellent idiot crying, and vowing that he didn't want it), the rest of +the proceeds, deducting enough for fares to New York, were divided +equally between the two other creditors; and the panorama and all the +appurtenances were left as a joint security for remaining obligations. +The panorama was worth twice the debts, to be cut into window shades. +After some grumbling, Messrs. Pigworth and Boolpin accepted the terms. + +Five minutes later, the polite detective and his party started for New +York. There was a great number of people at the station to see them off, +but only one to say "good-by." That one was the man-boy Stoop, who cried +as if his great, simple heart would break. + + + +BOOK EIGHTH. + +A DRAMATIC INTERLUDE. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE OVERTURE. + +It was the last of a delightful series of dramatic nights at Mrs. +Slapman's; and her house was quite filled with embodied Poetry, Travels, +Dramatic Literature, Music, Art, and the Sciences. + +The dramatic arrangements of Mrs. Slapman's house were simple, but +effective. A curtain, with rings, hung across the north end of the +parlor, established the confines of the stage, which was on a level with +the floor, and covered with green baize to represent rural scenes, or a +three-ply carpet to indicate refined interiors. Against the wall were +rollers, from which scenes could be dropped, affording perspectives of +country, or streets, or gilded saloons, as the necessities of the drama +required. There were six of these scenes, all painted by Patching (to +oblige Mrs. Slapman) in his leisure moments, which were numerous; and +they all exhibited evidences of his style. Six sets of flies, or side +scenes, matching with the rear views, had been executed by a +scene-painter's assistant, whom Mrs. Slapman had taken under her +patronage, and were thought, by some persons, superior to Patching's +efforts. Such was the belittling criticism to which that great artist +was constantly subjected. There was a space of about four feet between +the top of the curtain and the high ceiling. The light from the parlor +chandelier directly in front, aided by six gas jets behind the scenes, +made the whole performance and performers as clear as noonday. + +This miniature theatre was constructed of portable frames, which could +be put up or taken down in half an hour, and was the ingenious invention +of the scene-painter's assistant. When it was removed, the only traces +of its former presence were two brass-headed spikes in the walls, from +which the side curtains depended. + +These spikes imparted anguish to the mind of Mr. Slapman whenever he +gazed upon them. Mrs. S. had heard him say, that "some people would look +well hanging up there." By "some people," he was supposed to mean the +gentlemen who participated in her dramatic entertainments. Mrs. S. bore +the cruel remark meekly, merely replying that perhaps he had better try +the strength of the spikes first, by suspending himself from one +of them. + +The audience, usually numbering about fifty, were seated in chairs, +which filled the parlor, with the exception of a space of ten feet in +front of the stage. A fair view of the entire proceedings could be had +from all but the two back rows of chairs, the occupants of which were +compelled to imagine the attachment of feet and ankles to the several +characters of the drama. + +From the left wing of the stage a door opened into the hall, affording +communication by the staircase to the ladies' and gentlemen's dressing +rooms on the floor above. On the third floor (it was known to some of +the guests) was the private apartment of Mr. Slapman. A strong smell of +cigar smoke, as of one fumigating sullenly and furiously, was the +unvarying proof of his presence in the house. On this eventful night, he +had been seen, at an early hour, pacing up and down the hall of his +third floor, belching forth clouds of smoke, like Vesuvius just before a +fiery eruption. + +People who were in the sad secret of Mrs. Slapman's household sorrows, +looked at each other and smiled, but said nothing; for it was a point of +good breeding not to allude to him in conversation. The newer guests, +unaware of the melancholy facts in the case, supposed that the restless +gentleman on the third floor was some one of Mrs. Slapman's eccentric +friends, working out an idea. Mrs. Slapman paid no attention to her +jealous spouse, imagining that he would smoke away his wrath quietly, as +usual, and not interfere with the evening's amusement. Hitherto, on +occasions, he had done nothing more disagreeable than to open the parlor +door furtively, cast one wild look inside, and then suddenly withdraw +his head, gently slamming the door after him. + +The play of the evening was written "expressly for the occasion" by a +gentleman who had produced one melodrama at a Bowery theatre, and failed +to produce a large number of melodramas at all the theatres in Broadway. +Mrs. Slapman, a true patroness of genius, kindly permitted this +gentleman to prepare all her charades, and gratified him, on several +occasions by bringing out some of the minor plays from his stuffed +portfolio. + +By eight o'clock all the chairs were filled, and the actors and +actresses were still lingering over their toilet. After waiting ten +minutes longer, and crossing and uncrossing their legs repeatedly, the +audience stamped and whistled very much in the manner of an impatient +crowd at a real theatre. Mrs. Slapman relished these little ebullitions +of natural feeling, because it made the illusion of her "Thespian +parlor" (as she called it) more complete. + +At eight and a quarter o'clock, the orchestra, consisting of two flutes +and a violin, issued from behind the curtain, and seated itself before +some music stands ranged against the wall. The performers were amateurs +(two bookkeepers, and a cashier in private life), and could not have +been hired to play for any amount of money, though they were always +willing to favor a few friends. Mrs. Slapman humored them in this whim, +and they played regularly at her private theatricals. + +After a few nods and facetious remarks to their friends in the audience +(familiarities from which a paid orchestra would have been totally cut +off), the musicians dashed into a new overture, composed by Signor +Mancussi, also "expressly for the occasion." + +This musical composition had been rehearsed the week previous in the +presence of a select party of amateurs and critics, and had been +pronounced, by the sub-editor of a weekly paper, "remarkable for its +breadth and color." Under these circumstances, the overture was listened +to with much interest at first, which abated as the music progressed. +Touching the merits of "color" and "breadth" there might be some grounds +of doubt, but none whatever concerning its "length." + +It lasted until twenty minutes of nine; and, toward the close, faint +scrapings of dissatisfaction were heard, which would have been more +audible had Signor Mancussi not been present. As the last twang of the +fiddle died on the air, M. Bartin was heard by several persons to say, +"Bah! a bad hash from Rossini and Auber." The remark was reported to +Signor Mancussi, and did not tend to enhance his friendly regards for +the other gentleman. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CURTAIN UP. + +At eight and three quarters P.M. the curtain was rung up, and discovered +a rustic scene, in the midst of which Mrs. Slapman (Fidelia) was seated. +She was dressed in a white frock with low neck, and a flat hat, and was +trimmed out with red ribbons in all directions. She looked young and +pretty. Only an anxious knitting of her eyebrows revealed the cares and +troubles of intellect. Mrs. Slapman was applauded by a unanimous +clapping of hands. She was seated in a red-velvet rocking chair, at a +small but costly table, on which stood an expensive vase filled with +flowers. These properties, though few, were intended to signify +boundless affluence and luxury. Fidelia languidly waved a jewelled fan, +and sighed. "Will he never come?" said she. + +She had hardly made this remark, when, by a singular coincidence, +Alberto (Overtop) entered from the left wing, and threw himself, with as +much grace as his tights would permit, at her feet. She emitted a small +shriek, and gave him her hand to kiss, which he did with ecstasy. +Alberto was habited like an Italian gentleman in good circumstances; and +no one would have suspected his poverty, if he had not commenced the +dialogue by an affecting allusion to his last _scudi_, which brought +tears to the eyes of the fair Fidelia. + +Such trifling questions as lovers alone can ask and answer then passed +between them; and at last came the solemn interrogatory from the +kneeling Alberto: "And will you always love me, dearest?" + +Fidelia turned her meek orbs toward the ceiling, raised her hand, said +"_Forever!_" and was about to add, "I swear," when Bidette (Miss Wick) +rushed upon the scene with the intelligence, "He comes." + +"Who?" asked Alberto. + +"My father!" shrieked Fidelia. "Go--that way." She pointed with her +small alabaster hand to the left wing. + +Alberto vanished as per request, while Fidelia, with well-affected +calmness, commenced humming an opera air, and fanning herself. Bidette, +the favorite maid, pretended to readjust a flower in her mistress's +hair. These feminine artifices were to throw the coming father off +his scent. + +But the father (Mr. Johnsone, the junior of a small book-publishing +house) was sharp eyed, though he lacked spectacles. As he emerged from +the right wing, he caught a distinct view of a pair of soles +disappearing in the distance, and benignantly asked: "Who is that, +my child?" + +The child answered: "Only the postman, pa." + +"Where is the letter?" he asked. + +"Please, sir," interrupted Bidette, observing her mistress's confusion, +"there wasn't no letter. He mistook the house for another, sir." + +The father nodded his head to express his complete satisfaction with +this explanation, and then told Bidette to leave the spot, as he had +something of the utmost importance to tell his daughter. Bidette pouted, +and withdrew, giving a bewitching shake of her striped calico dress, to +signify her hatred of brutal fathers. This touch of nature drew plaudits +from those among the audience who were but slightly acquainted with Miss +Wick. The others looked on with critical indifference. + +The father took a chair, thrust out his legs like a reigning prince, and +proceeded, in a story of unnecessary length, to tell his daughter that +he owed one hundred and seventy thousand florins to Signor Rodicaso, and +would be a ruined man in forty-eight hours if that sum were not paid. +Life, in that event, would be simply insupportable. He had procured a +pistol to blow out his brains, but had subsequently concluded to make +one more effort to save himself. He would, therefore, appeal to his +daughter, _as_ a father, and ask her to marry Signor Rodicaso, and so +liquidate the debt, to-morrow. He did not wish to influence her +choice--far from it--but, if she did not consent, he should feel under +the painful necessity of shooting himself on the spot. + +The father produced a pistol, and held it to his left ear. + +Fidelia, looking like a marble statue of grief, said, in a low but +perfectly audible voice: "Stay! I will wed him." This was enunciated +with the calmness of despair. Not a gesture, nor a twinge of the +features, nor an accent to indicate emotion of any kind. It was in quiet +efforts like these that Mrs. Slapman excelled. + +When the applause elicited by this stroke of genius had ceased, Mr. +Chickson (Signor Rodicaso) came rather awkwardly upon the stage. His +eyes (and, it might be added, his legs) rolled absently about, as if he +were endeavoring to recall his part, or were in the inward act of +composing a poem. + +"Your future husband, Fidelia," said the father. + +Fidelia rose from her seat--still imperturbable. + +Chickson advanced with a sliding motion, and then paused, as if he had +forgotten what to do. Mrs. Slapman was heard to whisper something +(probably the cue), but he only rolled his eyes heavily in response. A +look of displeasure marred her serene features, and, instead of fainting +away in Signor Rodicaso's arms, as she should have done, she dropped +into the embrace of her father, taking that personage quite +unexpectedly, and nearly knocking him off his chair. + +Chickson projected himself forward at the same time to catch her, and, +in so doing, lost his balance, and just escaped, by an effort, from +sprawling on the floor. + +Then he looked helplessly at the audience; and there was no longer any +doubt entertained that Chickson was slightly intoxicated. Getting drunk, +now and then, was an infirmity of Chickson's genius. + +The stage manager had the good sense to ring down the curtain on this +painful scene, and, the next moment, there was a dull sound, as of +somebody falling on the floor behind the green baize. + +After an interval of fifteen minutes--protracted by the "unexpected +indisposition" of the poet, and the consequent necessity of intrusting +Signor Rodicaso to other hands--the curtain rises again, and discloses +Alberto in a humble cot, surrounded by three-legged stools, and other +evidences of extreme poverty. He is seated on a rickety table (in +preference to the greater uncertainty of the stools), his arms are +folded, and his head droops upon his breast. + +In this attitude, he begins to soliloquize, and informs the audience +(what they did not know before) that, from a clump of shrubbery, he had +seen fully as much as they of the preceding scene. He does not blame +Fidelia. Oh! no. In her cruel dilemma, she could do no less. But he +curses--and curses again--and continues to curse for some time--that +Fate which deprives him of the "paltry means" (one hundred and seventy +thousand florins) to buy off the "heartless monster" (Rodicaso). Having +wreaked himself upon Destiny to his own satisfaction, he suddenly +remembers that he has not eaten anything for thirty-six hours. He feels +in all his pockets successively, but finds nothing. He then draws from +his bosom a portrait of his father, set with antique gems. He gazes upon +it reverently, kisses it, and says: "Shall I part with this sacred +memento for vulgar bread? Never! Let me die!" He restores the portrait +to his bosom, folds his arms again, inclines his head, and shuts his +eyes, as if preparing to expire comfortably. + +All this time, a fat red face, belonging to a corpulent body, has been +watching the depressed lover from the right wing. As Alberto utters the +last sad ejaculation, a thick hand attached to a short arm raises a +kerchief to a pair of small eyes in this fat red face, and wipes them. +Then the stout gentleman reflects a moment, nods his head approvingly, +draws forth a wallet, opens it slowly, takes out some paper that rustles +like bank notes, produces a memorandum book, writes a few lines on one +of the leaves hastily with a pencil, tears out the leaf, encloses the +leaf and the bank notes in an envelope, emerges with his entire figure +into the full light of the stage, walks stealthily toward Alberto with a +pair of creaking shoes that would have waked the soundest sleeper, +places the note on the table by his side, raises his hands to heaven, +murmuring, "God bless the boy!" and retires in the same feline but +tumultuous manner. + +This mysterious visitor was Bignolio (Matthew Maltboy), a rich money +lender, uncle of Alberto, and commonly reported to be the "tightest old +skinflint in Venice." + +After a pause, scarcely long enough to allow his uncle's heavy footsteps +to die away in the distance, Alberto came out of his revery. His first +act was to look at the ceiling, then at the floor, then all about +him--everywhere but at the note on the table. At last, when nothing else +remained to be scrutinized, his eyes naturally fell upon this valuable +communication. + +"What is this?" he asked. Then he answered his own question by opening +the letter, and reading it, as follows: + + Venice, Oct. 16,----. + + Dear Nephew: + + I have watched you, and know all. You are indeed the son of + your father, and, I am proud to add, the nephew of your + uncle. Enclosed are sixty thousand florins. Go to Jinkerini + Bros., on the Rialto, and buy up judgments that they hold + against Rodicaso for three times that amount, and offset them + against old Corpetto's debts. Rodicaso conceals his property + so well, that none has ever been found to satisfy these + judgments. Drive a sharp bargain, and show yourself a chip of + the old block. Keep the balance for your wedding gift. + + Farewell--till we meet again. + + Bignolio. + +"Dear, dear uncle!" exclaimed Alberto, carefully buttoning up his pocket +over the funds, and kissing the letter in transports of joy. "And only +yesterday he would not lend me a _scudi_ to get my dinner. Generous man! +how have I wronged him! Now, Fate, I will floor thee and Rodicaso +together." + +[Exit Alberto, rapidly, by shortest land route to the Rialto.] + +Overtop's acting, throughout this difficult scene, was of a superior +order. Nothing could be more natural, for instance, than the buttoning +up of his pocket over his uncle's gift. But neither that, nor the other +strong point, where he exulted in the finest tragedy tones over the +anticipated downfall of Fate and Rodicaso, produced the slightest +sensation among his hearers. Matthew Maltboy paid the penalty of his +intimate relations with Overtop, by an equal unpopularity. His fine +rendition of the character of Bignolio might as well have been played to +a select company of gravestones. + +There was a necessary interval of twenty minutes for the fitting out of +the stage--during which time the amateur orchestra performed selections +from "Semiramide," but, happily, not loud enough to interfere with the +easy flow of conversation all over the room. The second flutist, while +looking over his shoulder angrily at the garrulous audience, executed a +false note, which almost threw the first (and only) violinist into fits. +In turning round to rebuke the errant performer, the violinist struck +his elbow against a similar projection of the other flutist, and knocked +a false note out of that gentleman too, besides momentarily ruffling his +temper. This little episode diffused unhappiness over the entire music. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +ACT SECOND. + +The spectators had been told that there were imposing stage effects in +the second and last act; and they were not disappointed. The entire +front was filled with furniture, real mahogany and brocade, leaving +barely room for human beings to walk about. The background was a +perspective of pillars, conveying the idea of unlimited saloons, all +opening into each other. Three Bohemian vases, filled with natural +flowers, were placed on pedestals in places where they would be least in +the way, if it were possible to make such a discrimination. But the +great feature of the scene was a magnificent paper chandelier of nine +candles, which hung from the centre of the framework, and made every +spectator, while he admired, tremble with fear that it would set the +house on fire. + +At a small table in front, covered by a rich cloth, sat the heroine, +dressed in a gorgeousness of apparel that mocked her misery. Beneath the +gems that studded her bosom, there was supposed to be unappeasable +wretchedness; and the white brow, covered with a spangled wreath, was +presumed to ache with mental agony. She was pale and beautiful. Murmurs +of applause ran round the apartment. + +By her side was the faithful Bidette, armed with a bottle of salts. She +bent affectionately over her mistress, and asked if she wanted anything. + +"Nothing, my child--but death," was the thrilling reply. + +Bidette was taken somewhat aback. She made a respectful pause. Then she +said: + +"But, my dear mistress, though you do not love Signor Rodicaso--" + +"In Heaven's name, stop, child! You are piercing my heart with a hot +iron. Name not love to me. Henceforth I erase it from the tablets of my +brain. Now go on" (with tranquil despair). + +"I was about to say, dear mistress, please, that Signor Rodicaso has a +splendid town house, and a beautiful country seat (they say), and +thousands of acres of land, which will all be yours--" + +The eloquent grief of her mistress's face checked the maid. + +"Bidette," she said, "I shall want but a small portion of all his +lands." + +"What do you mean, dear mistress?" asked the frightened maid. + +"Only enough for--a grave," was the harrowing reply. + +This dreary dialogue was here interrupted by the appearance of the +father in tights, knee buckles, velvet coat, ruffles, a powdered wig, +and a general air of having been got up for a great occasion. He +carefully picked his way through the furniture to his daughter, and +kissed her on the forehead. + +"Are you happy, my dear daughter?" he asked. + +"Happy? Oh! yes, father, I am _so_ happy! See how I smile." So saying, +she made a feeble attempt to smile, which was a most artistic failure, +and brought out another tribute of applause. + +The father, not detecting the sad irony of the smile, replied: + +"It is indeed fortunate that you are enabled not only to achieve your +own happiness by this marriage, but also to redeem what is dearer to me +than all else in this world--my mercantile credit. But here they come." + +"Here they come," was the cue which was to bring in Signor Rodicaso and +party; but the Signor was momentarily delayed by the giving way of two +buttons in his doublet. When he had repaired damages with pins as well +as he could, he emerged into view, accompanied by a notary and a pair of +friendly witnesses. The Signor, this time, proved to be the author of +the play, who had kindly consented, at five minutes' notice, to take the +part in which the hapless Chickson had broken down. Stealing behind, in +the shadow of the others, was distinctly seen (by all except the people +on the stage) the burly form of Uncle Bignolio. + +To satisfy the conventional idea of dramatic concealment, his left leg +was plunged in obscurity behind the scenes, while the rest of his figure +stood out in bold relief. He was observed, by those who watched him +narrowly, to send a pleasant wink and nod to Bidette, who responded with +a scarcely perceptible pout. + +On the entrance of Signor Rodicaso and friends, Fidelia rose, turned +toward them, and made a profound courtesy, as if to signify her abject +submission. Signor Rodicaso bowed with equal profundity, and straightway +proceeded to make a speech to the lady, in which he spoke of the wild +idolatry that he had long felt for her, and alluded most disparagingly +to his own merits. If the Signor's statements could be relied on, he was +totally unworthy of an alliance with the beautiful Fidelia; in fact, was +a "dog who would be proud only but to bask in the sunshine of +her smile." + +This singular address, extending over "one length," or forty-five lines, +excited little less astonishment on the stage than in the audience. For +it was not set down in the acting copy, but had been improvised by the +author, to better the part of the Signor, which, as originally written, +was destitute of Long and effective orations. + +Fidelia smiled, and could only reply to this unpremeditated effusion by +several modest inclinations of the head. The other actors and actress +turned aside to conceal their grins. Uncle Bignolio alone fulfilled the +requirements of his part, by casting Mephistophelean leers at the +Signor, and now and then stealthily shaking his fists at him. + +The father, not being apt at off-hand oratory, did not attempt any +response to this speech, but merely bowed, to express his perfect +agreement in everything that had been said, and waved his hand toward a +table in the rear of the stage, as if to say, "Let us proceed to +business." + +The notary, taking the hint, seated himself at the table, opened his +black bag, drew forth a document from it, and spread it out. Then he +dipped a pen into an inkstand, and said: + +"We now await the signing of the contract of marriage between Signor +Alessandro Arturo Rodicaso, gentleman, and Signorina Giulia Innocenza +Fidelia Corpetto, only daughter of Signor Francesco Corpetto, merchant." + +In the absence of any definite information on the Venetian formula +adopted in such cases, the author had selected this style of +announcement as being sufficiently stiff and imposing. + +Signor Rodicaso sprang forward with joyful alacrity to sign the +contract, dashing off his name in two strokes, as is the invariable +custom on the stage. + +The climax of the drama had now arrived, and everybody stood aside for +the wretched Fidelia. Mrs. Slapman proved equal to the great occasion. +Directing one look to heaven, as if for strength, and pressing a hand +over the jewelled bodice which covered her bursting heart, she walked +with firm steps toward the fatal table. Never in her life had she been +more grandly simple. It was sublime! + +As Fidelia came up to the little table, she faltered, and leaned upon it +to support herself; then, with a nervous motion, grasped the pen. +Several times she dipped the pen in the empty inkstand, and each time +her face assumed a look of more settled anguish. Then, bracing all her +nerves for the decisive act of woman's life, she put down the pen +boldly on the paper, and made one up stroke. Before she could make the +other down stroke which was necessary to complete her signature, a wild +figure, with hair dishevelled, and other evidences of hasty purpose, +burst upon the stage. + +Fidelia paused; all stood back; and gentlemen who had swords laid hands +on them. + +"Who is this?" asked the Father, with mercantile calmness. + +"Who dares thus break in upon my happiness?" inquired Signor Rodicaso. + +"Know you not, young man, that you are committing a breach of the +peace?" remarked the notary, regarding the intrusion with the eye of +a lawyer. + +The wild figure answered them all at once: "I am Alberto, and I come to +rend this impious contract--thus--thus--thus!" (snatching the parchment +from the table, tearing it to pieces, and trampling on it). + +Fidelia, astonished at the turn events were taking, leaned back in her +chair, and looked on silently. Her time for fainting had not yet come. + +"Draw and defend yourself, caitiff!" exclaimed Signor Rodicaso, +brandishing his sword. + +"Anywhere but in the presence of a lady," was the sarcastic reply. +"Besides, I have claims on you, which, perhaps may teach you to +respect me." + +"Claims! Thou liest! What claims?" + +"These! Hast seen them before? Ha! ha!" shouted Alberto, shaking a +bundle of papers in the face of his rival. + +"Allow me to examine them, if you please?" asked Signor Rodicaso, with +forced calmness. + +"No, you don't," was the response. "But I'll tell you what they are. +They are judgments to the extent of one hundred and seventy thousand +florins--dost hear? one hundred and seventy thousand florins--against +you, which I have bought for less than quarter price from Jinkerini +Bros, No. 124 Rialto. With them I offset the sum which this unhappy but +excellent merchant" (pointing to the father) "owes you. Here, sir; now +you are released from yon monster's clutches." (Hands package of +judgments to the father, who, overpowered by the scene, takes and holds +them in dumb amazement.) + +An expression of silent joy begins to steal over the face of Fidelia. +But her time for fainting had not yet come! + +"Boy!" said Signor Rodicaso, with a composure that was perfectly +wonderful, "there is another hand than thine in all this work. Thou art +but the poor tool and I despise thee!" + +"Here is the hand!" exclaimed the uncle Bignolio, drawing out his leg +from its seclusion, and bringing his whole body into full view. "Dost +know it?" He held up his right hand, to carry out the idea of +the author. + +"It is the hand of Bignolio the usurer," said Signor Rodicaso, +despondingly, seeing now that the game was clearly against him. + +"Bignolio the usurer!" exclaimed the father, still wrapped in amazement. + +"Bignolio the usurer!" murmured Fidelia, whose woman's wit divined the +mystery of his appearance. But her time to faint had not _yet_ come. + +"Bignolio the usurer!" cried the notary, witnesses, and Bidette in +chorus. + +"Yes," returned that gentleman; "Bignolio the _usurer,_ who now is proud +to claim the dearer title of 'own uncle' to his nephew Alberto. That +nephew he this day receives into his partnership, and proclaims his only +heir. Come to my arms, adopted son!" + +Alberto flew to his uncle, and was silently embraced. Even at this +moment, sacred to the interchange of the noblest affections, several +persons in the audience distinctly saw the uncle's left eye wink over +Alberto's shoulder to Bidette, who responded to the unwelcome +familiarity, this time, with an indignant frown. + +The nephew gently uncoiled his uncle, and addressed himself to the +father: + +"Respected sir, I have long loved your daughter, and am not totally +unprepared to believe that she may, in some slight measure, reciprocate +my affections. I humbly solicit her hand in marriage." + +The father, with the characteristic decision of an old man of business, +had already made up his mind. Alberto, the young partner and heir of the +rich usurer of Venice, would be a more manageable son-in-law than the +middle-aged though wealthy Rodicaso. The father said words to this +effect in an "aside," and then replied aloud: + +"Her hand is yours; and may your union be crowned with felicity. Come, +children, and receive a parent's blessing." + +"My bitter curse be on you all! Boy, we shall meet again!" shouted +Rodicaso, striding off the stage, and followed by the notary for his +pay, and by the laughter and scorn of the rest of the company. + +Fidelia's little cup of earthly happiness was now full. Her time for +fainting had arrived at last. Everybody moved to clear a space for her. +She rose, and walked with an unfaltering step toward Alberto. There was +no overdone rapture in her gait; no exaggerated ecstasy in her face. As +a practised critic remarked, "her calmness was the truest expression of +her agony of joy." + +Alberto advanced halfway with a lover's ardor, and extended his arms. +Then was her time to faint; and she fainted with a slight scream, +sinking gently upon a faithful breast. + +The father raised his hands above the couple, and blessed them in the +correct way, never seen off the stage. Uncle Bignolio wiped his eyes, +and murmured, "Dear boy! How much he looks like his father now!"--a +remark somewhat out of place, considering that Alberto's back was turned +to the uncle. Bidette hovered near the happy group, and danced for joy. + +It was a touching tableau, and the spectators applauded it In a way +that tickled the heart of the author, who was watching the effect +through an eyehole of the left wing. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +HOW THE PLAY ENDED. + +Just as the curtain was to be rung down on the end of the play, a mad +clatter of boots was heard behind the scenes. Then a man, dressed in +complete black, and excessively pale, jumped upon the stage. His black +hair was tossed all over his head, and his black eyes were rolling +wildly. Thus much all the spectators saw at a glance. + +The strange man's first intention appeared to be to dash at the happy +couple; but, if so, he checked himself, and, standing at a distance of +four feet from them, uttered these words: "Scoundrel! what are you doing +with my wife there?" The man's whole figure could be seen to tremble. + +Many of the spectators, supposing this was a part of the play--though +they did not see its precise connection with the plot--applauded what +was apparently a fine piece of acting. + +"Good!" "Capital!" "Bravo!" were heard from all parts of the room, +mingled with stamping and clapping. + +The man darted looks of concentrated hate at the audience. + +"Who is he?" "How well he does it!" "What splendid tragedy powers!" were +some of the audible remarks that this called forth. + +It was also observed that a wonderfully natural style of acting was +instantly developed among the other _dramatis personae_. Fidelia sprang +from the arms of Alberto, and put on a lifelike expression of insulted +dignity, mingled with astonishment. Alberto took a step away from the +ghastly intruder, and was evidently at a loss what to do. His face was +eloquent with bewilderment and mortification. The father looked confused +and sheepish, and put his hands into his pockets. Bidette screamed a +little, and fled to the opposite scenes. Uncle Bignolio whistled and +smiled, and was evidently amused at the occurrence. + +All this, done in five seconds, so delighted the spectators, that they +cheered, and cheered again. "As good as a theatre!" ejaculated a new +friend of Mrs. Slapman's, on the front row. + +The strange, disorderly man plunged forward with one leg toward Alberto, +and then drew himself back suddenly, as if in a state of harassing +indecision. (Applause.) Then he cast a diabolical look (worthy of the +elder Booth in Richard III) at the young lover, and shrieked, "Wretch! +villain! I will--I will--" He hesitated to add what he would do, but +shook his fists in a highly natural manner at the object of his hate. +(Great applause.) + +"Sir!" said Fidelia, stretching her proud young form erect, like a +tragedy queen, "How dare you, sir!" (Boisterous applause, and this +remark from an elderly gentleman: "The picture of Mrs. Siddons!") + +The singular individual in black was seen to tremble with increased +violence. His eyes rolled more wildly, while his face took on a chalkier +hue. He stepped back, as if to insure his retreat. Then, mustering all +his resolution, he said: + +"M-Mrs. M-Mrs. Slapman, you--you ought to be a-ashamed of yourself!" + +The real character of the strange actor was now made evident, and the +whole house was hushed in awe and expectation. There was not a man or +woman present but knew too well the folly of mingling in a family +quarrel. So they held their tongues, and enjoyed the scene. + +Mrs. Slapman turned to the audience. She was pale, but perfectly +composed. She said: + +"Ladies and gentlemen, this is my husband, a very quiet and well-behaved +man, whose only fault is excessive nervousness. This fault, I am sorry +to say, he encourages, by constantly smoking cigars and drinking strong +black tea. He has been indulging in both of these stimulants to-night, +till he is quite beside himself. I trust you will excuse and pity him. +He has no other vices that I know of." + +Then, turning to her husband, whose hands had now dropped listlessly by +his side, she added: + +"My dear, bathe your head, and go to bed immediately." + +He struggled to say something in the presence of this calm embodiment of +satire, but could not. Hanging down his head, and looking very silly, he +slinked off the stage. + +"Now, ladies and gentlemen," said Mrs. Slapman, "after an interval of +fifteen minutes, we will proceed with the comedietta of 'A Morning +Call,' as if nothing had happened." + +When she had said this, Mrs. Slapman fainted--this time in earnest. She +was caught in the arms of Fayette Overtop, who immediately, and with the +utmost delicacy, resigned her to the arms of Miss Wick (Bidette), and of +several other ladies, who came upon the stage and proffered salts, +cologne, and other restoratives. + +The gentlemen present, actors and audience, unanimously decided that the +best thing for them to do, under all the circumstances, was to leave +the premises. + +This they did as soon as they could, reserving all discussion of the +painful event of the evening for the free air of the street. + +As Overtop, very serious, and Maltboy, very jovial, were about to +descend the steps to the sidewalk, they were met by a messenger, who +desired them to go with him immediately to the station house to see some +friends (names forgotten) who had been arrested, and had sent for them. + +Thither they went, and experienced the greatest surprise of the evening. + + + +BOOK NINTH. + +THE INQUEST. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +Coroner and Jury. + +The post-mortem examination had been held; and three doctors had sworn +that deceased came to his death from a great variety of Greek and Latin +troubles, all caused by a learned something which signified, in plain +English, a blow on the head. Coroner Bullfast was so struck with the +clear and explicit nature of the medical evidence, that he had it +reduced to writing for his private regalement. + +The post-mortem examination, and the testimony of the three doctors, and +of all the people in the house (except Patty Minford, daughter of the +deceased)--whose joint knowledge upon the subject amounted to nothing +more than hearing somebody with heavy boots come down stairs about +midnight--occupied the whole of the first day. Patty, or Pet, was so +thoroughly unnerved by the events of that horrible night, that the +coroner found it impossible to take her evidence on that day. She had +fainted twice before she could make Coroner Bullfast clearly understand +that Marcus Wilkeson, her benefactor, and her father's best friend, was +THE MURDERER. Having learned thus much, the coroner had put the police +on the track of Marcus Wilkeson, and had postponed the further +examination of the chief witness. + +Mrs. Crull, on learning of the tragic affair, had gone in person to the +house of death, and taken Patty to her own home. + +The remains of the unfortunate inventor had been removed to the nearest +undertaker's for interment, at the expense of Mrs. Crull. The apartments +had been diligently searched, and the personal effects of the deceased +examined, under the direction of the coroner. A number of documents had +been discovered, which, in the coroner's opinion, threw a flood of light +on the motives that led to the crime. A few dollars and a bull's-eye +silver watch, found on the dead body, precluded the idea that the murder +was done for plunder. With that quickness of perception for which +Coroner Bullfast, like most of his official kind, was celebrated, he had +formed his theory of the murder, and tremendously strong must be the +future testimony that could shake it. + +On the morning of the second day, Coroner Bullfast and the jury +reassembled, about ten o'clock, in the room where the murder was +committed. + +The coroner was a jovial man, with a bulging forehead, a ruddy nose, a +large diamond breastpin (a real diamond, of that superlative style only +seen in its perfection on the shirt fronts of aldermen, contractors, and +Washington Market butchers), and the native New York manner of speaking, +which is sharp and mandatory. The coroner began life as a stone mason, +gained early distinction as a fireman, controlled several hundred votes +in his ward, became a member of a political committee, and got a +coronership as his share of the spoils. He had aspired to be a police +justice, or city inspector, or commissioner of the Croton Board. To +either of these positions, or, for that matter, to any position +indefinitely higher, he felt himself perfectly equal. But other members +of the committee (which was a kind of joint-stock company for the +distribution of offices) had prior and stronger claims than Harry +Bullfast, and so he was put off with a coronership. He felt the slight +acutely, but, like a prudent man, determined to so keep himself before +the public in his performance of the office, as to make it a stepping +stone to something much higher--the city comptrollership, or a seat in +the State Senate, or in Congress, or (who could tell?) the governorship +of the commonwealth--that grand possibility which every ward politician +carries in his hat. + +The coroner was seated in the inventor's private armchair, with one leg +thrown over the side of it, and the other stretched on the floor. He was +chewing tobacco with manly vigor, and cracking jokes with a facetious +juryman, who was assistant foreman of the Bully Boy Hose, of which the +coroner was an exempt and honorary member. + +The jury was composed of six men whom the coroner had picked from the +large number of idle spectators found by him at the scene of the murder +when he was first summoned. Two of them chanced to be acquaintances of +his. As to the rest, the coroner had not the remotest idea. They might +have been beggars or pickpockets, for aught that he cared. They looked +stupid, and he liked stupid jurors. + +"Them sharp fellers that thinks they knows more'n the cor'ner, is a +cussed nuisance," he often had occasion to remark. + +The jury sat near one of the windows, in a semicircle of chairs which +had been borrowed from the first and second floors. Pending the +resumption of their melancholy work, such of them as could read were +reading newspapers containing reports of the first day's proceedings, +from two to ten columns long, wherein the scene of the "Mysterious +Midnight Tragedy," as one paper called it, was represented in the most +ingenious manner by printers' rules cut to show the dimensions of the +rooms on the third floor, the position of the fireplace, bed, washstand, +chest of drawers, unknown machine in the corner, and other things which +had no bearing whatever on the affair. The other jurors, who could not +read at all, or had an insuperable aversion to that laborious +occupation, were rolling their quids in silence, and looking wise. + +At a long table in the centre of the room were seated several young +gentlemen, dressed with singular independence of style. From one point +of view they looked like actors, bearing about them signs of fatigue, as +if from heavy night work. Observed again, they resembled young lawyers +of indolent habits and scanty practice, who had just dropped in to +watch the case. + +From their conversation, no clue to their professional identity could be +gathered. They were cracking jokes, propounding conundrums, and telling +stories humorously broad to each other. Everything was to them a +legitimate amusement. The proceedings of the day before were peculiarly +rich in funny reminiscences; and one tall, bright, curly-haired fellow +was evoking roars of suppressed laughter by his capital mimicry of two +of the dullest witnesses. Another was drawing comic profiles of a sleepy +juryman on a scrap of paper. He had previously dashed off a very happy +sketch of the coroner, and shown it to that functionary, who had +"haw-hawed," and pronounced it "devilish good," and, in turn, presented +the young artist with a fine Havana cigar, which he playfully put in his +mouth and chewed the end of. Yet there were, about these young +gentlemen, signs of business, which an intelligent observer might have +easily interpreted. From the outside breast pockets of each of them +protruded a number of pencils; and, from their lower side pockets, thick +memorandum books with gray covers, or stiffly folded quires of foolscap. + +They were the reporters of the press--the gamins and good fellows of +literature;--fellows of inexhaustible resources, who carry their wits +literally at their fingers' ends;--who can do more than extract sunbeams +from cucumbers; for they can make up thrilling facts out of +nothing;--who can thread their way through a crowd where a tapeworm +would be squeezed to death;--whose writing desk is usually another man's +back; and who sketch out a much better speech between an orator's +shoulder blades than he is making in front;--whose written language is +a perplexity compared with which Greek is a relaxation and Sanscrit a +positive amusement;--who deal in adjectives, and know their precise +value, and how to administer them, as an apothecary knows the drugs that +are boxed and bottled on his shelves;--who are less men than parts of an +enormous mill grinding out grist to be branned and bolted in the +editorial rooms, made into food in the printing office and press vault, +and served up hot for the public's breakfast next morning. + +Clever, witty, insatiable fellows they, for whom a planet ought to be +set apart, where all the murders are wrapped in impenetrable mystery, +and the smallest railroad accidents are frightful catastrophes. + +The east side of the room, where the dead body had been found, was +preserved inviolate from the broom, mop, and other touch, until the +inquest was over. The strange machine stood in its accustomed place, +flanked by the screen. It had been extensively handled and looked at, +and passed for a new kind of clock. Two large weights (which had fallen +to the floor) and the interplaying cogwheels gave force to that +conjecture. + +A large purple spot on the floor showed where the old man's life had +ebbed away. Close by this spot, precisely where it had been picked up, +lay the long oaken club with the iron tip, which, it was supposed, had +done the dreadful deed. There were small splashes and spots on it too. + +The fun of the reporters, the chat of the coroner and his friends, the +readings and airy meditations of the jurors, were all suddenly checked +by the appearance of Marcus Wilkeson, escorted by two police officers, +and Messrs. Overtop and Maltboy, Patching and Tiffles. All five had +passed the night in the station house--Messrs. Patching and Tiffles from +compulsion, as witnesses, and possible accomplices, and Overtop and +Maltboy as guides, philosophers, and friends. All looked seedy and +criminal, as if there were something in the atmosphere of station houses +to give a man the semblance of a vagabond and an outcast. Marcus +Wilkeson was very pale, and, when he looked across the room, as he did +upon his entrance, by a singular impulse, and saw the great blood mark +and the club on the floor, he trembled with emotion. + +The keen eyes of the coroner caught these signs, and he immediately +brought in a mental verdict of "guilty." Some of the jury observed the +same signs, and thought them suspicious. The reporters looked upon +Marcus Wilkeson without emotion or prejudgment. They were so accustomed +to seeing murderers, that they regarded them simply as a part of the +business community--a little vicious, perhaps, but not so much worse +than other people, after all. One reporter, attached to an illustrated +paper, dashed off the profile of Marcus Wilkeson, under the cover of his +hat, and caught the dejected expression of his face to a nicety. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +STATEMENT OF THE PRISONER. + +The coroner received Marcus with that air of consideration which +magistrates instinctively bestow upon persons charged with great crimes, +and informed him, with some respect, that he was brought there to make +any explanation that he saw fit, touching his connection with "this +'ere murder." + +The party were then accommodated with seats near the jury, and facing +the reporters. As Marcus looked up, and saw those practised scribes +sharpening their pencils, his heart sank deeper within him. The vision +which had troubled him all night, of a broadside notoriety in all the +city papers, rose before his mind, clothed with fresh horror. The dull +sound of sharpening those pencils was like the whetting of the +executioner's knife. + +The proper course was to have accepted an unsworn statement from the +prisoner; but the coroner always administered oaths when prisoners were +willing to take them. The repetition of that jargon with a profane +conclusion (for so it seemed, in the slipshod way that it was said), +which the coroner called an oath, was a positive pleasure to that +official. As Marcus desired to take the oath, the coroner rattled off +the unintelligible something, and handed him a Bible, which the prisoner +pressed reverentially to his lips. Marcus, being now supposed to be +sworn, proceeded, with what firmness he could muster, to answer the +numerous interrogatories of the coroner. That official chewed hard, and, +as it were, spit out his questions. + +His testimony, in substance, was this: + +That he was a friend of the deceased, and had loaned him one thousand +dollars to complete a machine upon which he was engaged--pointing to the +unfinished pile in the corner. That his relations with the deceased and +his family (Marcus did not like to mention Pet's name) were entirely +agreeable, until an anonymous letter, charging him with improper motives +in visiting the house, had poisoned the mind of the deceased against +him. [The giving up of this letter to the coroner, who read it to the +jury, and then tossed it over to the reporters for copying, was a hard +trial, but Marcus had resolved upon meeting all the troubles of the +case halfway.] + +The coroner here produced the second anonymous letter, which had been +found on the person of the deceased, showed it to Marcus for +identification, and then threw it to the reporters, as one would throw a +choice bone to a cage full of hungry animals. + +Marcus explained that he had made every effort to discover the +authorship of the letters, without success; whereupon the coroner shut +his eyes knowingly, rolled his quid from right to left, and said that he +was "investigatin' 'em" himself. + +QUESTION BY A JUROR. "Wos the letters postpaid?" + +ANSWER. "They were." + +The juror took the reply into his profoundest consideration. + +Marcus, resuming, stated that, on his last visit--the night of the +supposed murder--he had found Mr. Minford very much disturbed in mind by +the unjust suspicions aroused by these letters. He had accused witness +of the vile intentions referred to in them. Witness had denied the +imputations with emphasis. The discussion was becoming quite warm, when +the daughter of the deceased entered the room, and, being worn out with +watching by the side of a sick friend, retired to bed in the adjoining +chamber. The conversation, broken off by her entrance, was then +continued, much in the same vein. Mr. Minford was in a distressing state +of nervous excitement that evening, and talked loud and wild. Witness +made an effort to keep his temper, and did so, though the peculiar +injustice of the accusations were enough to arouse any man's anger. He +reserved his show of wrath for the author of the anonymous letters, if +he could ever catch him. He would not say that he had not replied to the +deceased with some warmth of manner. But as to threatening him, or +hurting one hair of his head, witness had not done it--so help him God! + +QUESTION BY A JUROR. "Was the key of the door in the keyhole that +night?" + +ANSWER. "I don't know." + +COMMENT BY FACETIOUS JUROR. "Be me sowl, I thinks that whishkay had more +to do with it than the doorkay. Don't you, Harry?" + +CORONER. "Bully for you!" + +Clothing himself again with dignity, the coroner asked: + +"Der yer mean to say, Mr. Wilkingson, that yer didn't kill this man? +Remember, now, yer on yer oath!" + +The horrible bluntness of the question nearly felled Marcus to the +floor. He placed his hand on his brow, now pale with the acutest +anguish. Then he rose, and, looking upward said: + +"As God is my judge, and as I hope for heaven, I am innocent of this +murder, or of any part in it." + +"If you please, Mr. Coroner, this gentleman and myself are counsel for +the accused," said Overtop. + +"Oh! you're his counsel. Then the other two are the chaps arrested as +'complices?" + +Patching writhed at this. Nor were his feelings relieved by observing, +with an oblique glance, that the artist of the illustrated paper was in +the act of taking him. + +"I protest," said Wesley Tiffles, rising to his full height, and +throwing out both arms for a comprehensive gesture, "I protest against +this arrest and detention as illegal. If the coroner will give me but a +short hour of his valuable time, I can--" + +CORONER _(puffing up_). "The gentleman will be good enough to shut up +for the present. When we are ready, we will hear what he has to say." + +TIFFLES. "I protest, sir. I wish the gentlemanly and intelligent +reporters to note that I protest--" + +CORONER. "Are you, or me, boss here, hey?" + +TIFFLES. "Oh! you, of course, sir." The protestant then sank into his +seat, not wholly disappointed, for he had gained his object of making a +little newspaper capital by tickling the reporters. He had also +remarked, with pleasure, that, while he stood erect, with both arms +outstretched, the artist had secured his full length. Tiffles was fond +of notoriety, however achieved; and he saw a good opening for it in +this case. + +Overtop here suggested that it would be easy to prove their client's +innocence. He would respectfully request his Honor to procure the +testimony of Miss Patty Minford, if she could be found. As she went to +bed in the adjoining room early that evening, she must have heard some +noise in connection with the murder--if, indeed, a murder had been +committed. Overtop's legal education taught him to doubt everything. + +Coroner Bullfast was touched with the title of Honor, so skilfully +applied by Overtop; and he answered, with uncommon sweetness: + +"I am expecting Miss Minford every minute, sir. She will speak for +herself. For the present, sir, I am sorry to say that it was on her +testimony alone that Mr. Wilkingson was 'rested." + +A look of new surprise and horror passed over the pale face of Marcus, +and Overtop and Maltboy exchanged glances of astonishment. + +"Now, Mr. Wilkingson," continued the coroner, taking a fresh chew, +"please drive ahead with yer statement--if yer choose to. Yer not bound +to say anythink, yer know." + +AN INTELLIGENT JUROR. "Will Mr. Wilkeson tell us about what time he left +this house that night, and where he went?" + +Marcus raised his sunken head, and shook it, as if to dispel a +stupefaction. Then, in a faint and trembling voice, he replied that he +looked at his watch just before bidding Mr. Minford "good-night," +and-observed that it was fifteen minutes past eleven o'clock. + +QUESTION BY A JUROR. "What kind o' watch do you carry?" + +ANSWER (_exhibiting the watch_). "An English hunter--- lever +escapement--- full jewelled." + +At any other time, Marcus would have smiled at the impertinence of the +question, but he answered it gravely. + +He then went on to say, that Mr. Minford had not replied to his +"good-night." That he repeated the salutation, and extended his hand as +a token of unbroken friendship. That Mr. Minford refused to take it, and +said that he had one last favor to ask of him (Marcus), and that was, +never to cross his threshold again. That he (Marcus) responded, "I +forgive you, sir. When, on reflection, you think that you have done me +injustice--as you will, at last--send for me, and I will still be your +friend." That he received no answer to this, save a shake of the head, +and immediately went down stairs into the street. He was feverish, and +his brain was in a whirl. Hardly knowing what he did, he walked the +streets hither and thither. He could not tell what streets he traversed, +but he kept up the exercise till he was tired. Then he became calmer, +returned home, entered the house with a latch key, and went to bed +without waking any of the inmates. On going to bed, he observed that his +watch marked one o'clock. + +An intelligent juror. "You must have passed a large number of people in +the streets between eleven and one o'clock. Did you see no one whom +you knew?" + +"No one; but at a corner some distance from here,--I could not say what +corner,--I noticed a policeman sitting on a barrel in front of a +grocery, smoking. He was a short, fat man, and his legs hardly reached +to the pavement. I remember him the more particularly, because I stopped +and lighted a cigar at his pipe. Just at that moment, the City Hall bell +commenced striking a fire alarm." + +"What was the district?" asked the juror who was assistant foreman of +the Bully Boy Hose. + +"The Seventh. I counted the strokes. I walked on rapidly, and soon came +up with another policeman, who was leaning against a grocery store. I +said to him, 'A cold night, Mr. Policeman,' and I think he would +remember that circumstance, if he could be found. Just after I had +passed him, the alarm bells struck the last round. Three or four rounds +had been struck." + +The assistant foreman of the Bully Boy Hose, having referred to a +memorandum book which he drew from a breast pocket, here exclaimed: + +"The alarm was at twenty-five minutes of twelve. Nothing but a chimney +in Whitehall street. We run into Twenty's fellers, comin' back, and had +a nice little row. Ever belong to the department, sir?" + +Marcus answered "No;" and the pyrophilist looked compassionately upon +him, as upon one who had never known true happiness. + +"If you never run with the mersheen," observed the coroner, "you do' +'no' wot life is. As for me, sir, it's my boast and pride that I have +been a member of the New York Fire Department for more'n twenty years. +It wos the backin' of the boys that made me a coroner; and, thank God! +I'm never ashamed to tell 'em so." + +The coroner spoke truly. So far from being ashamed to "tell 'em so," he +was always "telling 'em so," never missing an opportunity, at political +meetings, to inform the firemen that he was "one of 'em," and that no +mark of honor, even from the President of the United States, was equal +to his fireman's badge. The continual "telling of 'em so" had aided in +procuring for him his present official distinction, and was destined to +earn higher honors for him at a future day. + +The coroner tore off a fresh chew from a half hand of Cavendish which +had been well gnawed at all the edges, and told Marcus that he might +"fire away" again. + +Marcus then proceeded to state that, on the morning after the eventful +night, he woke up early. His dreams had been horrible, and his waking +reflections were no less distressing. The thought that Mr. Minford +should have suspected him, thus unjustly, of the basest of crimes, and +that they, who had been such good friends, should have parted in a way +that effectually cut off reconciliation; and the other thought, that +this mischief had been wrought by some unscrupulous enemy, when he had +always fondly believed that he never could have a foe in the +world--these thoughts, occurring with great force to a nervous and +sensitive man, nearly maddened him. He felt that if he remained in the +house that day, as usual, and brooded over his troubles, he would grow +crazy. While he was pondering what to do, his eyes chanced to fall on an +invitation which he had received from Mr. Wesley Tiffles, to meet him at +the Cortlandt street ferry at seven and a quarter o'clock that morning, +and accompany him and his panorama of Africa to New Jersey. The day +before, when this invitation came to hand, he had determined not to +accept it; but it now seemed to offer him a capital chance to see some +excitement and ran. As these remedies were precisely what his mental +malady required, he jumped to dress himself, and hurried out of the +house, seeing nobody as he made his exit, and leaving no word of +explanation. He took no luggage, except a clean collar, as he intended +to return the following day. He was even so careless and forgetful as to +leave his purse behind him, and found, on reaching the ferry, that he +had barely two dollars in his pocket. + +QUESTION BY A JUROR. "Wos they bank bills; and, if so, what bank wos +they on?" + +Marcus answered the question to the best of his knowledge, and the juror +sagely nodded, and took the reply under treatment. + +"I say, Tubbs," cried the coroner, "wot's the use of askin' them kind o' +questions?" + +Tubbs looked up from his ruminations, somewhat confused. The politic +Overtop--that model of a rising lawyer--here put in a word for Tubbs, +and said that the question, in his opinion, was a very pertinent one, +for it went to test the memory of his client. If Mr. Wilkeson had just +committed murder, he would hardly be in that calm frame of mind which is +necessary to the recollection of small facts. He hoped that the +ingenious gentleman would ask many more such questions. By these +judicious remarks, Overtop gained one fast friend for his client on +the jury. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +JUSTICE GOES TO DINNER. + +Wesley Tiffles was then examined. He commenced with an eloquent +dissertation on the rights of man, and his own rights in particular, but +stopped when he saw that the reporters tucked their pencils behind their +ears, and waited for facts. The moment he began to talk facts--which are +to reporters what corn is to crows--down came the pencils from their +perches again, and went tripping over the paper. + +Mr. Tiffles's testimony would have consumed two hours, or two days, +perhaps, if he had been allowed to go on unchecked. But the coroner had +been invited to dine at a Broadway restaurant, with a few political +friends, at three P.M. So he concluded, after Tiffles had talked five +minutes, that he knew nothing about the murder, and could throw no +light on it, and told Tiffles that he was not wanted further. + +"And you mean to tell me, sir, that I am not to be locked up in the +station house to-night," said Tiffles. + +"No, unless yer want ter be." + +"Of course not--of course not." But the interior Tiffles was +disappointed at this sudden and unromantic termination of his case. A +few more nights in the station house, or in the Tombs, would have given +him capital material for a book, of which he had already projected the +first chapter. He sat down, and execrated his ill luck. + +Patching, the artist, was then interrogated, to the extent of two +minutes, and corroborated Tiffles's testimony as to the sad and strange +appearance of Mr. Wilkeson on the day after the supposed murder. +Patching was then informed by the coroner that his further attendance at +the inquest would not be required. + +Patching, on rising, had assumed the attitude of Paul before Felix, as +set forth in some ancient cartoon; and in that position of mingled +innocence, dignity, and defiance, the artist of the illustrated paper +got a spirited sketch of him. Had Patching dreamed how capitally his +long hair, peaked beard, thin nose, and bony forehead would be taken +off, in a rough but faithful character portrait, he would have sunk in +confusion. Happily, the newspaper artist was sitting almost behind his +more pretentious brother of the canvas, and the latter knew not what had +been done, until, the following week, he saw a striking intensification +of himself staring into the street from numerous bulletin boards and +shop windows. + +Before sitting down, Mr. Patching begged to explain to the jury, and to +the public through the reporters (who did not take down a word of the +explanation), that he had painted the panorama of Africa to oblige his +friend, "Wesley Tiffles. It was hardly necessary for him to say, in this +community, that he was more at home among higher walks of Art. + +"Are you a sign painter, Mr. Patching?" asked the coroner. "No, sir; I +am not," said Patching, with dignified contempt. + +"Perhaps you're a carriage painter, then? Them's the fellers for +picturin'. The woman and flowers on the Bully Boys' hose carriage wos +well done. Hey, Jack?" + +"That it wos, Harry," returned the assistant foreman of the Bully Boys. +"If Patching can do that sort o' thing, he'll pass." + +Patching fixed looks of professional indignation on the coroner and the +assistant foreman, and sat down gloomily, amid the suppressed laughter +of the irreverent reporters. + +The coroner then looked at his watch, and, finding that the time was +within half an hour of dinner, said that the inquest would be adjourned +till the following morning, at ten o'clock. + +"But, your Honor," said Overtop, "--that is, if you will allow me to +make the suggestion--couldn't you give us an hour longer? Nothing has +yet been heard from Miss Minford, who, you said, was expected to be in +attendance to-day. Will you be good enough to send to Mrs. Crull's +house for her?" + +"Really, I can't wait," replied the coroner. "The young lady must be +sick, or she would have been here before now." + +"But--pardon me, your Honor--we are anxious to have Miss Minford brought +on the stand this afternoon, believing, that her testimony alone will +acquit our client." + +"You believe so, because you do' 'no' what it is. But, as I said before, +it wos on Miss Minford's statement that Mr. Wilkingson there was +'rested. And the best advice I can give him is to take a good night's +rest, and get his nerves ready for the young woman's testimony +to-morrow, for it'll be a staggerer." The coroner consulted his watch +again, with evident impatience, and rose from his seat. + +Overtop essayed to speak again; but the coroner interrupted him with, +"The inquest is 'journed till to-morrer, at ten o'clock. Mr. Policeman, +you will take the prisoner back to the station house." + +This speech was torture to Overtop and Maltboy, who, believing firmly +in their friend's innocence, were convinced that a full investigation of +the case that day would procure his acquittal. They turned eyes of +exhaustless friendship and sympathy toward him. + +Marcus was in that half-comatose state which is the stupid reaction from +an intense and painful excitation of the nerves. He was morbidly calm. +The opinion of the coroner, that Miss Minford's testimony would be a +"staggerer," had no more effect on him than it would have had on the +most phlegmatic reader of the case in next morning's paper. + +"Then, your Honor, we must ask you to take bail," said Overtop. + +"Can't take bail! Can't take anything but my dinner, to-day! For the +third time, I say, the inquest is adjourned." The coroner hastily put on +his spring overcoat. + +Overtop was tempted to make a fierce reply; but the legal discretion in +which he was educated restrained him. + +The word had gone forth. The jurors rose, yawned, and grasped their +hats. The reporters jammed their notes into their pockets, and +precipitately fled from the room. The policeman escorted Marcus Wilkeson +and his counsel, and Tiffles and Patching, to the carriage which brought +them, and which still stood in front of the house, an object of tragic +interest to a large crowd of men, women, and children, who had remained +about the doorway during the inquest, and could not be dispersed by the +policemen. + +"Which is he?" "Who's the murderer?" whispered twenty voices, as the +party emerged from the stairs upon the sidewalk. + +"That's him! That chap with the big hat and long hair. You could pick +him out of a million," said a shrewd observer. + +"What ugly eyes he's got! They're sharp enough to stab ye," added a shop +girl. + +"I seen some pirates hung, when I was a little gal," remarked an old +woman, "and they were pooty compared to him." + +The object of these and other remarks was the unhappy Patching, who had +not yet got over his wrath at the coroner, and was scowling and +compressing his lips very like a murderer. + +The policeman and his companions, all but the spell-bound Marcus, could +not help laughing at these ridiculous mistakes. But Patching turned upon +the crowd, and delivered among them one withering look of scorn, which +fully confirmed them in the belief that he was a murderer of the deepest +dye. And when the carriage rolled away, it was followed by a volley of +groans, mixed with a few pebbles, handfuls of mud, and other missiles +which happened to be lying around loose. + +"Here, boys, don't act that way," said the coroner, who had just made +his appearance on the sidewalk. "Let the poor devil go. It's a case of +murder, clear, enough; and he won't slip through my hands easy, I can +tell ye, if he _is_ rich." The coroner spoke good-naturedly, for he saw +several of his political adherents among the throng. + +"That's the talk!" "Good boy!" "You're the feller for us!" were some of +the warm responses. + +The coroner smiled, as he stopped to light a cigar from the pipe of a +dirty admirer, and then, bowing obsequiously to the group, he stalked +off in a rowdy way in the direction of his expected dinner. + + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +LIGHT IN THE PRISON. + +On the return of the prisoner and friends to the station house, Marcus +was gratified to find a number of old business acquaintances waiting for +him in the ante-room. They were men whom he had known in his Wall-street +epoch, and had always set down as good-enough friends in prosperity, but +cold-shouldered creatures in an hour of trial. He was mistaken, as many +men are mistaken, in judging the hearts of business men from their +white and careworn faces. They came with warm hands, sympathetic words, +and offers of bail money and other aid, if wanted. There were short +notes from two or three other old fellows whom he had not seen for +years, telling him that they were at his command. + +These expressions of good will touched Marcus to the heart. He learned +that, in the self-conceit of his retired and studious life, he had done +injustice to these citizens of the whirling world. With a thousand +thanks for the kindness of his callers, he told them that their friendly +services were not needed; that his innocence would surely be made to +appear; and that, to the day of his death, he should never forget them. +Upon this assurance, repeated two or three times, his business friends +withdrew with characteristic business impetuosity, wishing him a speedy +release from his disagreeable position--which is the roundabout phrase +for prison. + +A policeman, who had charge of the station house during the absence of +his superior officer, here informed Marcus that an old lady and a young +one, an old gen'leman and a lad, had called. The old gen'leman and the +lad would drop round again during the evening. The old lady and the +young one were waiting for him in the captain's room. + +He entered the captain's room--his companions staying outside--and saw, +as he expected, his half-sister Philomela, and a young woman dressed in +the height of cheap fashion, who was no other than Mash, the cook. + +His sister rose, and extended her hand to him severely, and said, with a +solemn voice: + +"Brother Marcus, I am sorry to see you here. I hope you are not guilty +of this crime?" + +"Hope?" said Marcus, stung to the quick. "Why not say at once that I am +guilty? It is strange that the only relative I have on earth should be +the first to doubt my innocence." + +"Oh, no, Marcus! You do me injustice there. I do not for a moment doubt +your innocence. But you know I always advised you to give up your +moping habits at home, and go into active business, like other men of +your age. If you had been in business now, you wouldn't have had time to +get mixed up in the affairs of this old man Minford and his daughter, +and would have escaped this disgrace. I trust, Marcus," she added, +emphatically, "I trust this will be a lesson to you." + +Poor Mash, the cook, had been playing with her bonnet strings, and +trying to check her tears. But the unnatural effort was too much for +her, and she burst out crying. + +"Oh, Mr. Wilkeson!" she said, between her sobs, "I--I'm so sorry to see +you here; b-but I--I know yer innocent. Boo-boo-hoo!" + +"Thank you, Mash," replied Marcus, quite affected at this sudden +outbreak of sympathy. "_You_ speak like a true woman. But don't cry any +more, my good girl. I shall be released to-morrow." Marcus said this +confidently--though he had not the least idea how his acquittal was to +be obtained. + +"Oh! I hope so--I--hope so, Mr. Wilkeson. Boo-boo-hoo--I--I wish I could +g-go to prison in your place. Boo-boo-hoo!" + +Mash had derived this preposterous idea of vicarious imprisonment from +the story of "The Buttery and the Boudoir," which was now drawing near +its conclusion, and gradually killing, or marrying off, its heroes +and heroines. + +Marcus could not help smiling at the romantic notion. Miss Philomela +laughed sarcastically, and exclaimed: + +"You must take pattern from me, girl, and control your feelings. My +brother doesn't want crying women about him at this time." + +"Don't be too sure of that, sister. Tears come naturally from a woman. +They are her best evidence of sympathy, and therefore precious to one +who needs it." + +Mash, the cook, gave vent to a fresh shower of tears at this encouraging +remark, and made Miss Philomela shrug her shoulders in disgust. + +"Oh! _don't_ be silly. Mash!" said Miss Philomela, losing all patience +with the cook. + +"I--I--boo-boo-hoo!--can't help it, marm." + +"Nonsense!" said the superior female. "As for you, Marcus, you should +not encourage such folly, when you have troubles that demand our sober +and earnest attention. With reference to the past, I might say a great +many things, but I forbear. To be serious, now--for once in your +life--what can I do for you?" + +"Will you do what I ask, faithfully?" asked Marcus. + +"Yes, faithfully. I promise." + +"Then, my sister, be so good as to go home immediately, and send me a +spare shirt and a change of clothes. Mash can bring them. And, lest +another interview should prove too severe a trial for your female +sensibility, I beg that you will not come here again. If I want you very +much, I can send for you." + +"You are very unkind--very unkind. But I will not make any remarks. You +know that nothing would give me greater pleasure than to serve my +brother. For, though you have faults--I suppose you will not deny that +you have some little faults--you are still my brother." + +Marcus smiled, and thought how foolish it was to quarrel with the +whimsical but not bad-hearted woman. "Well, sister Philomela, you can +see for yourself that I am not ill used here. Comfortable bed, rousing +fire, and warm meals from the restaurant round the corner! The +lieutenant[1] who is in command of this station house turns out to be an +old friend of my boyhood, and treats me more like a guest than a +prisoner. And I must say, that, but for the idea of a prison, I could +live as pleasantly here as at home. Even you can do nothing to lighten +my captivity. But I promise, that _if_ I am held by this coroner's +jury--which, of course, I shall not be--and am sent to the Tombs, then I +will tax your sisterly affection to the utmost." + +[Footnote 1: Called sergeant of police under the recent Metropolitan +Act.] + +At the mention of that dreadful place, the "Tombs," Mash broke into +sobs again. The touching experiences of Gerald Florville in that house +of despair--as set forth in "The Buttery and the Boudoir"--were +poignantly brought to her mind. + +Miss Philomela looked serious as the Tombs loomed up in her mind, and +she would have said something condoling, but for the irritating conduct +of the cook, who annoyed her so much that she decided to leave. She +abruptly shook hands with her half-brother. "It is very easy," said she, +"to point out how certain mistakes might have been avoided. But let the +past go. If you are not acquitted to-morrow, I shall call here again, +notwithstanding you don't seem very desirous to see me. Now, good-by. +Come, hurry up, Mash!" + +Marcus shook hands with his half-sister, and also with Mash, who wept +afresh. + +In the ante-room, Miss Philomela saw Overtop and Maltboy, upon whom she +bestowed a half smile, and Tiffles, whom she treated to a cordial +grimace, not unmingled with a blush. Tiffles, on his part, was +profoundly polite, and inquired if she were going home. Learning that +she was, he remarked that he had occasion to walk in the same direction, +and accompanied her as she left the station house. Mash followed at a +short distance behind, not because she did not think herself fully as +good as Miss Philomela, but because she wished to indulge unchecked in +the mild luxury of tears. + +A new visitor was now announced. He was a curly-headed, neatly dressed +boy of nineteen years. His face was one that is handsomer in promise +than in fact. Marcus recognized him as the boy Bog, whom he had not seen +for several weeks. The boy had developed a remarkable talent for making +money honestly. For two months he had attended a night school, and was +fast correcting his awkward English, and attaining to other knowledge. +Prosperity and schooling together had given him quite a polish. The +rough boy was coming to be a presentable youth. + +He advanced timidly toward Marcus, who shook hands with him. He sat down +before the fire, and commenced fumbling his cap in the old way. "With +the exception of that trick, and his shyness, there was little of the +original boy Bog about him, + +"Mr. Wilkeson," said he, giving his cap a twirl, "I am very sorry to see +you here; because, I may say, I _know_ you are innocent." + +The positive manner in which the boy asserted this, charmed Marcus, "I +thank you, my dear Bog," said he; "but how do you know it? For, though I +am innocent, I may have some trouble in proving it." + +The boy drew a small folded note from his pocket. "I'll explain, sir," +said he. + +Marcus here called in his counsel, Messrs. Overtop and Maltboy, and his +good friend the lieutenant of police, who had just arrived in the outer +room, in order that they might hear the explanation. + +The boy was embarrassed by his audience; but the anxious look of Marcus, +and a few kind words from the lieutenant of police, reassured him. Bog +then proceeded to tell what he knew of the strange young man's +acquaintance with Miss Patty Minford--which was very easily told, since +it did not amount to much--and concluded by opening the letter given to +him by the young man for delivery to Miss Minford, and handed it +to Marcus. + +Marcus glanced at the writing, expecting that it would resemble that of +the first anonymous letter addressed to Mr. Minford, which he drew from +his pocket for comparison. But the writing was totally different in +inclination, thickness of the downward stroke, and all other respects. +He read it aloud, his counsel and the lieutenant of police listening +attentively. + +"I don't know much about the case yet," said the lieutenant, "but, +jumping at a conclusion, I should say that this sneaking chap was +jealous of your intimacy with the Minford family; that he wrote the +anonymous letters to the old man, in a different hand, and that he +either committed the murder, or knows something about it. His motive for +annoying Miss Minford I can understand--for this city is full of just +such well dressed scoundrels; but the motive of the murder I can't +comprehend. But mark me--- this fellow has some knowledge of it; and we +must hunt him up. And, first, let us compare the letters." + +Marcus handed the two letters to the lieutenant, who, with Overtop and +Maltboy, gave them a close examination. One was written on faint blue +paper in a buff envelope; the other on white paper in a white envelope. +Every curve, cross, and dot was minutely compared; but not the faintest +resemblance between the two letters could be discovered. "No more like +than chalk and cheese," said the lieutenant. "My theory is knocked on +the head." + +"Let me examine the envelopes again," said Overtop. They had inspected +them less carefully than the contents. + +As soon as Overtop had placed the two envelopes side by side, his eyes +lighted up with the pleasure of a great discovery. "What fools we are!" +he exclaimed. "There it is! Don't you see? Don't you see? A regular +Hogarthian line of beauty under the name on each." + +All stared at the envelopes, and at once recognized the similarity +between the graceful curved lines. They looked somewhat like the letter +S laid on its side; and more like the arm of a rocking chair. + +Marcus had a sudden inward vision of the writer. One of those +convictions which defy all logical analysis flashed upon his mind. + +"Do you know where this strange young man lives, Bog?" asked Marcus. + +"No, sir. I follered--I should say followed--him two or three times, +because I thought he wasn't acting just right toward Miss Minford (here +Bog blushed). He always went into drinking houses and billiard saloons, +and once into a place where they say the worst kind o' gambling is +allers--I mean always--going on. But he knew me by sight, and I was +afraid he would ask me about that letter which I didn't deliver for +him. So I had to follow him a good piece behind; and sometimes I lost +track of him. Then, again, he would keep a tramping round from one +drinking place to another--but never getting drunk that I could +see--till twelve or one o'clock at night. By that time I felt I ought to +go home, and so I never tracked him to his lodgings, if he has any. But +it's my belief he travels in the night, and sleeps in the daytime, like +the cats." + +"Good, so far," said Marcus. "You have already given us a general +description of this fellow's dress and appearance. Now, tell me whether +his face is pale, his mustache small and curved up in points, his eyes +light gray, and never looking straight at you; his nose small, thin, and +sharp; and, now I think of it, has he not got a small scar on one of +his cheeks?" + +"Why, Mr. Wilkeson," exclaimed the boy Bog, "that's the very chap!" + +"Who is he?" asked the lieutenant of police, "that I may have him +arrested at once." + +"He is the son--" + + + +CHAPTER V. + +THE SORROW OF WHITE HAIRS. + +At that moment the door opened, and the venerable form of Myndert Van +Quintem appeared before them. Marcus cast a hasty glance, importing +silence, at his companions, and rose to receive his old friend. + +Mr. Van Quintem's face expressed the tenderest compassion. He clasped +Marcus's hand, and said: + +"My young friend, it deeply grieves me to see you here; for I feel--I +may say I know morally--that you are innocent of any part in +this murder." + +"Thank you for your confidence," said Marcus. "I hope, when Miss Minford +and certain other witnesses are examined to-morrow, to prove my +innocence conclusively." + +"So you will, I am sure. When I say that I know you are innocent, I +found my belief on my short but pleasant acquaintance with you. But I +cannot guess, from the evidence at the inquest yesterday and that of +to-day--just published in the afternoon papers,--who committed the +murder, or what was the motive of it. Have you any clue to the mystery?" + +"Yes--yes," replied Marcus. "We think we have a clue; but so slight, +that it is hardly worth mentioning. My friends here are going to +follow it up." + +"And in order that we may do so without any delay," said the lieutenant, +"please give us the name of that sneaking letter writer." + +Marcus coughed, looked at the lieutenant knowingly, and said, "Oh, +_that's_ no consequence. It's a false scent. Depend on it." + +The old gentleman, as he entered the room, had caught Marcus Wilkeson's +words. "He is the son--" and had observed the slight confusion with +which Marcus had stopped saying something. He now noticed the glance +enjoining silence, which Marcus had directed at the lieutenant +of police. + +Mr. Van Quintem turned pale, as a harrowing suspicion came into his +mind. "Mr. Wilkeson," he said, in a trembling voice, "will you answer me +one question truly?" + +"I--I will," replied Marcus. + +"Then tell me, in Heaven's name, do you know of anything that connects +my son with this monstrous crime? I have had a dreadful presentiment, +all along, that he had something to do with it. The end of his wrong +career will be the gallows. I have dreamt of it for years. O God! that I +should have begotten such a profligate and miscreant into the world!" + +The old man made another pause, and then said, with a calmness that +surprised his hearers. "Now I am ready to hear all." + +"And you shall," said Marcus, "though it pains me, my dear friend, to +tell you what we know of your son. I will say, however, that there is +no proof directly connecting him with the murder." + +"He is cunning and covers his tracks," said the wretched parent. "I know +him well." + +Marcus then exhibited the letters. Mr. Van Quintem compared them +carefully, but could not detect the least trace of resemblance. But, on +examining the envelopes, at the suggestion of Fayette Overtop, he at +once recognized the Hogarthian curve as a mark which he had always +observed on his son's letters. + +"I could almost swear to this mark; and yet it is possible that he did +not write the letters. Bad as he is, I will wait for further proofs. +Please tell me all else that you know, Mr. Wilkeson." + +"With regard to the letter written to Miss Minford," said Marcus, "there +is, unhappily, but little doubt; as this lad, who was well acquainted +with the Minford family, can inform you." + +The boy Bog, very reluctantly, and with many awkward breaks, and +swingings of his cap, repeated the history of the first letter, and +described the young man's person most minutely, and told how he had +followed him in his wild rambles about the town. + +The old man listened sadly and quietly; only now and then interrupting +the boy's narrative with questions that were seemingly as calm as a +judge's interrogatories. + +"He is a murderer. Something in the air tells me that he is," murmured +the old man. "And he is my son." + +The inexpressible heart-broken sadness, with which he uttered these +words, brought tears to the eyes of his hearers. + +"It may be, my dear Mr. Van Quintem, that your son did not write the +anonymous letters to Mr. Minford, notwithstanding the point of +resemblance which we think we have detected. While sitting, at my +window, I have often noticed him in his room scribbling at a desk, as if +he were practising penmanship. Perhaps, if you examine the contents of +the desk, you may get some further light on the subject. It is +wonderful--most people would say impossible--that a man should write +two letters so entirely dissimilar as these." + +"My son always excelled in writing. It was one of the branches that he +took prizes in at school. I will examine the desk; but I fear I shall +only confirm my strong suspicions that he is a murderer. O God! O God! +Why did he not die with his sainted mother! Far better would that have +been. It is a hard thing, gentlemen--it is a very hard thing; but if +this boy of mine does not surrender himself to the hands of justice +to-morrow, I shall--I shall--myself denounce him to the--" + +The afflicted man, overcome with the terrible conflict between a sense +of public duty, and a lingering, inextinguishable parental affection, +fainted and fell into the arms of Marcus, who sprang to catch him. + +While he was still insensible, the lieutenant of police, and the boy +Bog, slipped out of the room, and started off on a search for Myndert +Van Quintem, jr. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +WHAT PAPER, TYPES, AND INK CAN DO. + +When Marcus and his counsel, accompanied by the faithful lieutenant of +police, arrived in a close carriage at the scene of the inquest, at the +hour of adjournment next morning, they saw a convincing illustration of +the power of paper, types, and ink. + +The morning journals, with whole leaded pages of evidence, and new +diagrams of the house and fatal room; and the enterprising illustrated +weekly, with portraits of the deceased, the prisoner, his counsel, +Tiffles, Patching (great hat and all), Patty Minford, the coroner, the +foreman of the jury, a full-page design of the murder, as it was +supposed to have taken place, representing the infuriate Wilkeson, club +in hand, standing over the prostrate body of the inventor, from whose +forehead the gore was pouring in torrents--all these delightful, +provocatives of sensation had done their full and perfect work. + +At that moment, Marcus Wilkeson was known to the world of readers in New +York and the whole country round about, as the murderer of +Eliphalet Minford. + +On the second morning of the inquest an immense crowd of people were +assembled in front of the house. They had been collecting since five +A.M., when a party of six Jerseymen, having sold off their stock of +nocturnal cabbages at Washington Market, had taken position of vantage +before the house, from which they and their wagons were afterward +dislodged with great effort by a squad of police. Some butcher boys, +also returning from their night's work at market, were next on the +ground, and selected adjacent awning posts and trees, as good points of +observation. Mechanics and shop girls, going to their labor, recklessly +postponed the duties of the day, and stopped to stare, awestricken, at +the house. + +A knot of people in a street, is like a drift of wood in a river. It +chokes up the stream, and catches all the other wood that is +floating down. + +The police had in vain tried to clear out this human throng. They had +waged the following contests with their fellow citizens, since six +o'clock A.M.:--first, they had driven the Jersey market wagons to the +street corner below; second, they had tumbled the butcher boys out of +the trees, where they hung like a strange species of fruit; third, they +had cleared a space of ten feet square in front of the house. Having +done thus much, the police paused from exhaustion, and endured the jokes +of the populace with philosophic disdain. + +Three policemen guarded the door, within which no one was admitted but +the coroner, the jury, witnesses, a few political friends of the +coroner, who exhibited passes from him, and about twenty-five reporters, +fifteen of whom really belonged to newspapers, and the remainder had a +general connection with the press, which could never be clearly defined +and established. To the magic word "reporter," accompanied by the +flourish of a pencil and a roll of paper, the three policemen smiled +obsequiously, and unbarred the way. Seeing how well this plan worked, +two gentlemen of inelegant leisure, and at least one pickpocket, +provided themselves with rolls of paper and pencils, and, giving the +password, were admitted. + +As the carriage rolled round the corner of the street, bringing Marcus +in full view of these acres of men, women, and children--all waiting for +him--the little courage which he had plucked up failed him, as +plucked-up courage generally does. The sound of mingled laughter, jokes, +oaths, and exclamations of impatience reached his ears. + +"Great heavens!" he cried; "and I am to face all these people!" If his +features could have been seen, at that instant, by some person who +thought himself skilled in physiognomy, he would have been +unhesitatingly pronounced guilty of several murders. Marcus sat in the +rear part of the coach, and he leaned back to avoid observation. + +As the carriage entered the outskirts of the throng, they became aware +that it contained the man of their desires. Five small boys, who had run +all the way from the station house, had brought the exciting +intelligence. The vehicle was at once surrounded by clamorous people. + +"Say, Mister, wich is the murderer, hey?" asked a red-shirted fellow of +Matthew Maltboy, whose corpulent figure squeezed the thin form of +Fayette Overtop into a corner of the front seat. + +Maltboy was not quick at thinking; but, on this occasion, a brave +thought came into his head before he could turn to the speaker. "I am +the prisoner," said he. + +"I knowed you wos," was the red-shirted reply, "by your--ugly face." + +"Thank you," said Matthew, meekly. + +"That's the chap that killed the old man--him with the big chops," said +the red-shirted individual to his numerous red and other shirted +friends about. + +"What! that fat cuss with the pig eyes?" + +"Zackly!" + +"He's the puffick image of his portrait in the--Weekly, isn't he?" + +"Like as two peas." + +There was truth in this; for the artist who sketched the portraits, had +inadvertently placed Marcus's name under Matthew's portrait, and +_vice versa_. + +"Well," said another man, an expert in human nature, "I'd convict that +fellow of murder any time, on the strength of his looks. Never were the +worst passions of our nature more prominently shown than in that bad +face." Having said which, the speaker looked about for somebody to +contradict him, and was disappointed in finding no one. + +Marcus Wilkeson said: "Here, Matt, none of that generous nonsense, if +you please. I am the prisoner, my good people." As Marcus spoke, he +stretched forward, and exhibited his face to the gaze of the red-shirted +querist and his companions. + +"No, you don't!" said that fiery leader. "This blubbery chap is the one. +We knows him by his picter." + +"No use disputing them, Mark," said Maltboy, with his indomitable smile. + +The friendly struggle was soon terminated by their arrival at the house. +Here the human jam was tremendous; but the police, under the direction +of the lieutenant, succeeded in getting their convoy safe within the +entry. The door was then closed, and five sturdy policemen stood outside +to guard it. + +On entering the room, everybody and everything were found just as they +had been the day before--a day that seemed to Marcus a month ago. The +jury were idling over the newspapers, or lazily turning their quids. The +coroner, who looked a little the worse for his dinner of the day before, +was bandying jokes with the facetious reporters. The other reporters +were sharpening their pencils and laying out their note books. Some--the +younger ones--were listening with a species of reverence, which they +would soon outgrow, to the official jesting of the coroner. Others were +squabbling over the right and title to certain chairs which possessed +the extraordinary advantage of being a foot or two nearer the coroner +than the other chairs. This is a grave cause of dispute among the +reporters, and has been known to give rise to a great many hard words, +and threats of subsequent chastisements, which are always indefinitely +postponed. + +The coroner nodded, and said "good morning" to the comers, and assumed a +temporary official dignity, by taking down his right leg from the arm of +the chair over which it gracefully depended. He also fortified himself, +by thrusting a sizable chew into a corner of his mouth, as if he were +carefully loading a pistol. + +But neither the coroner, nor the jury, nor the reporters, nor the few +private citizens who had obtained entrance by special dispensation, and +sat gaping about the room, attracted the attention of the prisoner. +Before him was one in whose presence all other persons faded into +nothingness--the fair disturber of his peaceful life--the arbitress of +his fate--Patty Minford. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +PET AS A WITNESS. + +Little Pet sat on the low stool which she had always occupied, and which +Marcus, in his strange sentimentality, had always considered sacred to +her. She was veiled; but, through the thick gauze, he could see that her +beautiful face was deathly pale. Her slender frame shook with little +convulsions, that made the chair rattle. + +"Be calm, my dear child," said a stout, self-possessed woman who sat by +her side, and held a bottle of salts conspicuously in her hand. +"Remember, you have only to tell the trewth, and let the consekences +fall where they may. Tell the trewth, as the old sayin' is, and shame +the de--you know who." + +Mrs. Crull--for she it was--checked herself with a neat cough. Her +three months' private education seemed to have been lost upon her. She +could never speak correctly out of Miss Pillbody's sight. Fortunately, +her heart needed no education. She had taken the poor orphan girl to her +home, and been a mother to her. In that phrase there is an horizonless +world of love. + +The deep, manly voice of Mrs. Crull carried assurance to the sinking +heart of Patty. She took the extended hand, and pressed it, deriving +strength from the contact of that strong, positive nature. + +"If you please, Mr. Cronner," said Mrs. Crull, "I think you'd better go +ahead with her examination at once. Quickest said, soonest mended, +you know." + +The prisoner and his counsel having taken their seats, the coroner +having involuntarily thrown his right leg into the old, easy position, +the jury having pricked up their ears, the reporters having cleared +spaces for their elbows, the young girl proceeded to give her testimony. +She was too nervous to make a clear, connected statement. Sometimes +terror, sometimes tears, would choke her voice; but the cheering words +and the smelling bottle of Mrs. Crull invariably "brought her round in +no time," in the words of that estimable lady. + +Pet told the story of her return home on the fatal night, of her finding +Mr. Wilkeson and her father in angry conversation; of her retiring to +bed very much fatigued; of more conversation, growing angrier and +angrier, which she overheard; of her marvellous vision in the night; of +her waking next morning to find her vision true, and her father dead on +the floor. All these facts, with which the reader is already familiar, +the poor child made known to the jury in a fragmentary, roundabout way, +as they were elicited by questions from the coroner, the jury, and +occasionally the prisoner's counsel. The narrative of the vivid dream, +or vision, produced a startling effect on the coroner, who was a firm +believer in every species of supernaturalism winch is most at variance +with human experience and reason. + +In his interrogatories to the witness, the coroner took the truth of the +vision for granted. When she testified to the blows which (in her +dream) she saw her father and the prisoner exchange, and the battered +appearance of Mr. Wilkeson's face, the coroner looked at the prisoner, +and was evidently disappointed to observe no traces of a bruise upon his +pale brow or cheeks, nor the lightest discoloration about his eyes. But +the absence of this corroboration did not, in the coroner's opinion, +throw the least discredit on the dream. + +But the foreman of the jury, who had been listening with an affrighted +look to the marvellous story, and believing it, had his faith sadly +shaken by this discrepancy. Having been fireman ten years, and foreman +of a hose company six years, he knew by large experience how long it +took to tone down a black eye or reduce a puffed cheek. The foreman +looked at the smooth, clear face of the prisoner, smiled incredulously, +and shook his head at his associates. + +Fayette Overtop here acted his part with a skill worthy of a veteran. +Instead of making a great ado over this weak point of the dream, he +shrugged his shoulders, and smiled faintly at the jury. The jurors, who +had been inclined, up to this time, to accept the dream as evidence, +without question, now decided that it was nonsense. + +Marcus Wilkeson sat and listened, as if the scene and all the actors in +it, himself included, were only a dream too. The young girl's evidence, +of which he had not an inkling before, would have astounded him, if +anything could. But he had reached that point of reaction in the +emotions, where a stolid and complete apathy happily takes the place of +high nervous excitement. He somehow felt certain of his acquittal, but +was strangely benumbed to his fate. + +He looked at the witness--the holy idol of all his romantic and tender +thoughts in days gone by--with unruffled composure. The marked stoicism +of his demeanor was not lost on the reporters, and they noticed it in +paragraphs to the effect that the prisoner exhibited a hardened +indifference during the most thrilling portion of the evidence. + +QUESTION BY THE CORONER (_after thinking it over a bit_). "Who do you +say struck the fust blow, miss? Remember, now, you're on oath." + +ANSWER. "My father, sir--or rather, I dreamed so." + +The coroner was disappointed again, for he hoped that the witness would, +on second thought, fix the commencement of the actual assault on the +prisoner. "Your father, being old and kind o' feeble, struck a light +blow, I s'pose." + +WITNESS. "No, sir--a heavy one, I should judge; for it appeared to cut +open Mr. Wilkeson's lip, and bruise his cheek. The blood seemed to run +down his face in a stream." Here little Pet exhibited signs of +faintness, which good Mrs. Crull stopped by an instant application of +the smelling bottle. + +CORONER. "Mr. Wilkeson struck back a terrible blow in return, I s'pose." + +WITNESS. "Yes, sir. He hit my father right in the eye, raising a black +and blue spot as large as a hen's egg." The painful recollection of this +part of the dream so overpowered the witness, that she burst into tears, +but was soon quieted by the motherly attentions of Mrs. Crull. + +FOREMAN OF THE JURY. "I don't want to hurt the young lady's feelin's, +but this 'ere dream is all nonsense; and it strikes me we're a lot o' +fools to be listenin' to it. Why, Harry, you know, as well as I do, that +there wasn't no bruise on the old man's face, exceptin' the big one on +his forehead. No more is there a sign of a scratch on the prisoner's mug +there. It's all gammon." + +Three others of the jury nodded in approval of this sentiment. The +remaining two shared somewhat in the coroner's reverence for dreams, and +awaited further developments. + +The coroner turned his quid uneasily. "You can think as you please, +Jack," said he: "but we'll see--we'll see." The coroner, like many +other men of greater claims to wisdom, used this enigmatical expression +when he could not see anything. + +A lawyer less crafty than Fayette Overtop would have protested against +the reception of this singular testimony at the outset, and at intervals +of a minute during its delivery. But he foresaw that, being a dream, it +must be full of absurdities, which would surely betray themselves, and +help his client. Besides, he was curious to hear all of the evidence, +however ridiculous and worthless, against the prisoner. + +The witness then proceeded to the close of her testimony, amid the +silence of all hearers. The narrative of the dreadful grapple, the +struggle for the club, and the death blow given by Mr. Wilkeson to her +prostrate father--all delivered with an intense earnestness, broken only +by occasional sobs and pauses of anguish--produced a powerful +impression. As she finished, and fell, half fainting, into the arms of +Mrs. Crull, the coroner nodded his head slowly, and said: + +"What do you think of dreams now, Jack? Something in 'em, eh?" + +The foreman shared in the general feeling of awe; but he had given his +opinion that the dream was nonsense, and stood by it. "It's strange," +said he. "It's what the newspapers call a 'strordinary quincidence,' +that the young lady should 'a' dreamed out this murder so plain. I do' +'no' much about the science o' dreams, but I think this one might be +explained somethin' in this way: The young lady heerd the old man and +Mr. Wilkeson here talkin' strong, when she come home that night. She +went to sleep with their conversation ringin' in her ears. Part on it +she heerd in her dreams, and the rest she 'magined. She says she was +afraid there would be trouble between 'em when she went to bed. The +fight, and the murder, and all that, which she says she saw in a dream, +or vision like, might have grown out o' that naterally enough. That's my +notion of it, off hand. I've often gone to bed, myself, thinkin' of +somethin' horrible that was goin' to happen, and dreamt that it did +happen." + +[Illustration: THE INQUEST. MARCUS SPRINGS TO HIS FEET.] + +This was precisely the theory upon which Fayette Overtop intended to +explain the dream to the jury when the proper time arrived. He was glad +that the foreman had done it instead; for he knew the tenacity with +which a man, having given an opinion, defends it. To have so potent an +advocate of his client's innocence on the jury, was a strong point. + +"Very good, old boy," said the coroner; "but, if the prisoner didn't +commit the murder, who did?" + +This question, so manifestly unjust, and betraying the coroner's +intention to sacrifice Marcus to a theory, roused that unfortunate man +to consciousness, and he sprang to his feet. But the wiser Overtop +placed his hands upon his friend's shoulder, whispered in his ear, and +forced him reluctantly into his seat. Overtop knew that the +argumentative foreman could best dispose of the coroner. + +The foreman replied to the coroner's question: + +"As to who did the murder, that's what we're here to find out. But, for +one, I sha'n't bring in no man guilty till it's proved onto him." + +The foreman's face was a dull one, but it became suddenly luminous with +an idea: + +"You say, miss, that you was waked by a noise as of somethin' heavy +fallin' on the floor?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"You s'pose--as we all s'pose--that it was your father's body that fell, +when he received his death blow?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"You say you heerd no one a-goin' out o' the room?" + +"No, sir." + +"That's not strange; for the murd'rer could 'a' slipped off his boots or +shoes, and walked out puffickly quiet. I noticed, this mornin', and the +other members of the jury can see for themselves, that the boards of the +floor don't creak when you walk on 'em, nor the entry door neither when +you open it. Didn't you never observe that succumstance?" + +"Yes, sir; but it did not occur to me when I woke up. I thought, if the +dream had been true, that I should have heard Mr. Wilkeson moving around +in the room, or going out of the door. I listened for a long time, as I +have already said, and, hearing nobody, I thought the dream was nothing +but a nightmare, as father used to call it." + +"One more question, miss, which may or may not be of some consekence. +Haven't you no idee about what time it was when you was waked up by this +noise of somethin' fallin'?" + +"No, sir; not the least. It might have been about midnight, I should +guess." + +"Think a minute, miss, if you didn't hear any sound outside that could +give you some idee of the time." The foreman fixed his eyes piercingly +on the witness. + +She reflected a moment. "Yes--yes; I do remember, that when I jumped out +of bed--which I did the very second that I woke up--and listened at the +door, I heard the fire bells striking. Now, if anybody could tell what +time that happened." + +"At precisely twenty-five minutes of twelve," said the foreman, in a +solemn voice. "It was for the seventh district--the only 'larm that +night. It was a false 'larm, and only three or four rounds was sounded. +Did you hear the bell many times?" + +"Only two or three, and then it stopped. The sound was very plain, sir, +because the bell tower is only a short distance from here, you know." + +"Exactly," said the foreman. "You woke up just as Uncle Ith was givin' +off the last round." + +There was a deep, awestruck silence in the room; for all understood the +object of these inquiries. + +"Now, gentlemen," continued the foreman, in a trembling voice, "let the +prisoner only prove that he was a half, or a quarter, or an eighth of a +mile from here when that 'larm was sounded, and I rather think he will +clear himself. Where are the policemen that the prisoner saw +that night?" + +A noise, as of heavy official boots, was heard on the stairs, sending a +strange thrill through the hearts of all present. + +"God be praised," said Fayette Overtop, "if the lieutenant has found +them." It was the first time that the model young lawyer had shown any +signs of emotion. + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +THE BENEFICENCE OF FIRE BELLS. + +The door opened, and the tall form of the police lieutenant appeared, +attended by two patrolmen. The patrolmen, on entering, looked directly +at the prisoner, and seemed to recognize him. The police lieutenant +appeared to be pleased with his success in finding the witnesses, after +a hunt through several station houses; but he was not aware what +importance the testimony which they could give had suddenly acquired. +The witnesses had been searched for at the suggestion of Fayette +Overtop, with the vague hope of making them useful in some way. + +The coroner scowled at the witnesses, for he feared that they would +prove the man innocent, who, in his opinion, was the murderer. Having +adopted this theory at the outset, and staked the whole issue upon it, +he felt a natural reluctance to give it up. + +The lieutenant explained to the coroner that the two officers could +probably throw some light on the prisoner's movements, the night of +the murder. + +The coroner administered the oath to both of them, as follows: + +"Holeup your ri't'an'. You swear to tell truth, th'ole truth, nothin' +but truth, s'elpyeGod. Kiss the book." + +The men complied with these impressive formalities, and the coroner then +proceeded to interrogate one of them--a strapping fellow with an +intensely Irish face. + +"Name?" said the coroner. + +"Patrick O'Dougherty, yer Honor." + +The phrase "Yer Honor" produced its customary gracious effect. + +"Do you spell O'Dougherty with a 'k,'?" asked the coroner. + +"Hang me if I knows!" said the O'Dougherty. "I niver spilt it. Spill it +to suit yezself, yer Honor." + +"Spell it in the usual way, with a 'k'" said the coroner, turning to the +reporters. + +"Your residence, Mr. O'Dougherty?" + +"Me what?" + +"Your residence. Where do you live?" + +"Oh! it's fare I live yer want to know. In Mulberry street, near +Baxter." + +"You belong to the perlice, I believe?" asked the coroner. + +"It's quare ye should ax me that!" replied the O'Dougherty, with an +enormous smile. + +"Because you have the perliceman's hat, club, and badge? You forget," +said the coroner, patronizingly, "that courts of justice doesn't know +nothin' until it's proved to them. As a coroner, I shouldn't know my own +grandmother, until she swore to herself." + +"'Tisn't that, yer Honor; but becos yer got me onto the perlice yerself. +Don't yer 'member, on 'lection day, I smashed two ticket booths of +t'other can'date, in the Sixth Ward, lickt as much as a dozen men who +was workin' agen ye, an' din was put into the Tumes over night--bad luck +to the Tumes, I say! Well, yer Honor, ye was 'lected coroner by a small +vote; an', in turn for me services, ye got me 'p'inted--" + +"Ah! oh! I remember, now," said the coroner, somewhat confused. "I did +not know you in the perliceman's dress. Well, Mr. O'Dougherty, did you +see the prisoner on the night of the murder?" + +"I did, yer Honor. It was about twelve o'clock. I was sittin' on a +bar'l in front of Pat McKibbin's store, corner of Washin'ton +and ---- streets. I was watchin' the bar'l, yer Honor, becos Pat +McKibbin had some of 'em stole lately, ye see." + +"Could yer swear to him, Mr. O'Dougherty?" + +"Could I shwear to me own mother?--Hivin rest her sowl! Bedad, I shud +know him a thousan' years from now. Didn't he shtop and light his siggar +at me poipe? And didn't his nose touch me own?" + +"Did he look pale and excited?" asked the coroner. + +"No, yer Honor; his face was red as a brick, an', though it was a cowld +night, he looked to be warm wid fasht walkin'." + +"Did he say anythin'?" + +"No; he only axed for a light." + +"Was his 'pearance 'spicious?" + +"No, yer Honor, more'n yer own. No offince to yez." + +"That'll do, Mr. O'Dougherty. Next witness." + +"If you please, your Honor," said the smooth Overtop, rising, "you have +accidentally omitted to ask one very important question. The prisoner +stated, on his preliminary examination, you remember, that, when he +stopped to light a cigar from the pipe of a policeman, he heard the +sound of a fire bell commencing to strike. Miss Minford testifies, that +when she was roused from sleep by the noise of her father falling to the +floor, she heard the alarm for the Seventh District. McKibbin's store, +at the corner of Washington and ---- streets, is more than half a mile +from here. In view of these facts, I will, with your Honor's permission, +ask Mr. O'Dougherty if he heard the fire alarm that night; and, if so, +whether the prisoner was in sight at the time?" + +"Shure, an' I heerd it," answered the O'Dougherty. "It was fur the +Seventh District. An' wasn't this gin'leman here at the ind o' me poipe, +jist when it begun to bang away?" + +Overtop cast one triumphant glance at the jury, which was fully +reciprocated by the foreman and four others. + +"I have no more questions to ask, your Honor," said Overtop. + +"Nor I," said the coroner, "as the witness's testimony has no great +bearin' on the case, that I can see. What is jour name, Mister--er--" + +"Thomas Jelliman," responded the second policeman, a stout, bluff, +honest-looking fellow. He did not say "Your Honor," and thereby offended +the coroner. + +"Well, what's yer bizness, anyhow?" asked the coroner, curtly. + +"I should think you would remember that I was a policeman," said the +witness, looking the coroner straight in the eye. + +The coroner, taking a second observation of the witness, recalled him as +the identical officer who had arrested him, one Christmas night, for +drunkenness, and locked him up in the station house. This little +occurrence was before his election to the dignified and responsible +office of County Coroner. + +"If you don't remember me," said the witness, "I think I could bring +myself to your mind easy. On a certain Christmas night, not many +years ago--" + +"Never mind the particulars, Mr. Jelliman," observed the coroner. "Come +to look at yer, I recolleck yer very well. Ahem! What do you know about +this 'ere case, Mr. Jelliman?" + +"Nothing, sir, except that I can swear to having seen the prisoner, on +the night of the murder, at the corner of West and ---- streets. He was +smoking a cigar, and walking fast. As he passed me, he said, 'A cold +night, Mr. Policeman.' This made me notice him particularly, because it +isn't very often that people throw away civilities on us. Just as he +turned the corner below me, the alarm bells struck the last round for +the Seventh District. They had struck three or four rounds. That is all +I know about the affair." + +"I have no other questions to ask, Mr. Jelliman," said the coroner, with +great politeness. + +The coroner was baffled. He had staked the whole case upon the theory of +Marcus Wilkeson's guilt, and had made no attempt to procure other +testimony than what would prove that supposition. He scratched his head +and rolled his quid in a perfect quandary. + +Another noise was heard on the stairs, as of several persons hurriedly +ascending. + +Then the door opened, and an excited group made its appearance. In +advance was a slender young man, whose face was pale with debauchery. +His clothes were rich, and had an unpleasantly new look. As he stepped +over the threshold, he glanced coolly about the room, and, his eyes +resting on the coroner, smiled. + +"Ah, Myndert, my boy," said the coroner, "what are you here for?" + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +AN OLD MAN'S OFFERING. + +"Hang me if I know, Harry! It's the old man's work. He'll explain it to +you." + +Behind this easy young man came a strong policeman, who, immediately +upon his entrance, received a nod of approbation from the lieutenant. +Behind the policeman walked, with bended white head and tottering limbs, +the venerable Mr. Van Quintem. The old gentleman was partly supported, +in his infirmity, by the boy Bog. It was a touching sight to see the +confiding trust with which the weakness of sixty-eight clung to the +strong arm of nineteen. Bog hung down his head modestly, and blushed. He +was not seen even to look at the little veiled figure which sat in the +middle of the room. But young Myndert Van Quintem looked at it, and +bowed with the deepest respect. The bow was answered by a faint nod and +a delicate blush. Mrs. Crull observed the interchange of recognitions, +and frowned to herself. + +"Mr. Coroner," said the old gentleman, straightening himself, and coming +forward with a quick step, as one who was about to perform an unpleasant +task, and would hurry through it, "this young man is my son. God knows +what love I have lavished upon him from the day that he was born, and +with what ingratitude he has repaid me. But--but that is neither here +nor there. I have come here to deliver him up to you as a prisoner--" + +"As a prisoner!" echoed the coroner; and he and all looked amazed at +this strange announcement. + +"Why should it surprise you? It is a simple act of justice. I have +reason to think that my son knows something about this murder" (here the +old gentleman's voice faltered); "and my duty, as a good citizen and an +honest man, requires me to surrender him. There are other affairs of a +private nature between myself and my son--he knows to what I refer +--which I am not prepared to make public at the present time." The old +gentleman looked significantly at his son, who smiled calmly at him +in return. + +A chair was brought for Mr. Van Quintem, sen., and he sank into it. The +young man seated himself in another chair which was handed to him by the +attentive coroner himself. + +"Now, Myndert, my good fellow," said the coroner, "if yer knows anything +about this affair, fire away." + +"Will the coroner be good enough to swear the witness?" asked Fayette +Overtop. + +"Oh! I'd quite forgot it." And the coroner mumbled his irreverent +jargon. + +"Two minutes are enough to tell you all I know, Harry," said the young +man, in a sweet, effeminate voice. "I happened to save Miss Minford's +life, a few months ago--she will give you the particulars, no doubt, if +you desire them--and that is the way I made her acquaintance." (Here +another respectful bow to the young lady.) "Since then, I have met her, +quite accidentally, a few times, and--I do not pretend to conceal +it--have gradually come to feel an interest--a brotherly interest, I may +call it--in her." (The coroner smiled.) "Having learned from her that +she was receiving her education at the expense of Mr. Wilkeson, and that +that gentleman was a constant visitor at her father's house I thought +it proper, as a sincere and disinterested friend of the young lady, to +make some inquiries into his character. Judging, from the result of +these inquiries, that his designs were not honorable toward Miss +Minford--Mr. Wilkeson will pardon the expression, but I am under oath, +and must tell the truth as to my motives--I took the liberty of writing +a note to Mr. Minford, merely cautioning him against Mr. Wilkeson. I did +not sign my name to the note, because I was not personally acquainted +with Mr. Minford--in fact, never saw him in my life--and did not wish to +assume the responsibility, disagreeable to every sensitive person, of +interfering in another man's family affairs. The object of the note was +to make Mr. Minford cautious. I presume no one will undertake to say +that a father can be too cautious concerning the honor of a young and +lovely daughter." (Another respectful glance at Miss Minford.) "I am +aware anonymous letters are a little irregular, in the opinions of most +people. But, when sent with a good motive, I really don't see the +harm in them." + +"Nor I neither," said the coroner. "It strikes me they're correct enough +when the motive's a good 'un." + +"But, your Honor, when an anonymous letter is full of lies and slanders, +I respectfully submit that it is a piece of cowardly malice, which the +law ought to punish with the utmost severity." Fayette Overtop spoke +with tranquillity and firmness, looking young Van Quintem directly in +the eye, and making him quail. + +The judicious phrase, "Your Honor," alone saved Overtop from an +explosion of official wrath. "The Court can't allow these interruptions, +Mr. Overtop," said the coroner. "Her dignity must be maintained. As for +'nonymous letters, whether it's right or wrong to send them, people will +differ. The coroner and the jury is competent to judge for themselves. +Go ahead, Myndert." + +"As the first letter seemed to have no effect, I sent another, +suggesting that Mr. Minford should inquire into Mr. Wilkeson's history +in the little village of----, Westchester County, where he was born, +and lived many years. I learned from Miss Minford that her father +visited Westchester County one day, and presume that he made some +important discoveries there; for Miss Minford told me, that, on his +return, he had forbidden Mr. Wilkeson to come to the house. If there was +any harm in putting Mr. Minford on the track to find out the real truth +about the man who was a constant attendant at his fireside, I do not +see it." + +"Nor I neither," said the coroner. "The end, as the sayin' is, justifies +the means." + +"If your Honor pleases," said the facile Overtop, "we could easily prove +that all the reports which Mr. Minford gathered in Westchester County, +prejudicial to my client, arose from a confounding of another person +with him. But, as this explanation would involve the disclosure of +private family affairs, and also the reflection of disgrace on the +memory of the dead, my client prohibits me from saying more on the +subject. But all this, as none knows better than your Honor, has nothing +to do with the case. We ask that my client shall either be proved guilty +of the murder, or of some knowledge of it, or released." + +Fayette Overtop here looked volumes of confidence at the jury; and five +of the jury looked back volumes of agreement with him. + +"Nobody can be in a bigger hurry than me, Mr. Overtop," said the +coroner, with tolerable good nature. "These 'ere inquests, commencin' in +the mornin' and holdin' on a good part of the day, are rather hard on a +chap 'customed to his 'leven-o'clock drink. I have to make up for the +loss by adjournin' early in the arternoon. Ha! ha! Now, Myndert, my boy, +rush her through. You don't know anythin' about the murder, I s'pose. +You were somewhere else on the fatal night, of course--and I can guess +where. At Brown's, eh?" + +Brown's was a notorious gambling house on Broadway. + +"Exactly, Harry. I was at Brown's from nine P.M. to four o'clock the +following morning. And, if I mistake not, there is a gentleman in this +room who can swear to having seen me there, say from ten to eleven." +Saying this, young Van Quintem winked hard at the coroner. + +"You needn't mince matters," said the coroner. "I was at Brown's that +night, and between the hours you name. Being a public officer, I +sometimes look into Brown's, and a good many other places, too, to see +that nothin' a'n't a-goin' on wrong. Ha! I partickly 'member it, because +I accidentally lost about fifty dollars there that night. Ha! ha!" + +"I think I recollect the little circumstance," said the witness, with a +smile. + +"Very likely. Ha! Now, Myndert, of course we all understand that you are +innocent; but, to satisfy the public, I guess I'd better summon a few +witnesses from Brown's, to prove you were there all night." + +"I thought of that, Harry, and requested a number of my friends at +Brown's to drop around here, and prove an _alibi_ for me. They were very +much engaged at the time, or they would have come with me." + +"They were playing faro," said the old gentleman, "and my son was +gambling with them. Wretched young man, how often have I cautioned you +against that vice!" + +"The cautioning I don't object to," said the son; "but I consider it +unfair to drag a fellow away from a streak of good luck. I was raking in +the piles just as you and the policeman, and that mop-headed youth +behind you" (he alluded to the boy Bog) "came down on me. Ah! I see the +game is finished, and here they are." + +Four men, of a highly correct appearance, dressed in quiet good taste, +who would have passed in the Broadway muster for merchants of the +severest practical variety, entered the room. + +They nodded in the most gentlemanly manner to the coroner, and gave a +friendly recognition to young Myndert. + +"You may be willing to believe these polished scoundrels under oath; +but hang me if I would!" said the old gentleman, with emphasis. + +The four gamblers showed their even rows of white teeth pleasantly, and +one of them replied: + +"You are an elderly gentleman, Mr. Van Quintem, and the father of our +young friend; and, of course, you are permitted to abuse us as much as +you like." + +"It seems to me, Mr. Van Quintem," said the coroner, "that you are +rather hard on these gen'lemen, who, so fur as I know 'em, is of the +highest respectability. Don't yer want to have yer son prove +an _alibi?_" + +"I want to have him prove the truth, and that's all. And for that reason +I wouldn't credit such evidence as these men will give." + +"You would like to have me hanged, my dear father," said the son, +mildly; "but I don't think you will be gratified in that amiable little +desire. Eh, Harry?" + +The coroner grinned, shifted his quid, put on his most serious official +look, and said: + +"No more of this 'ere jokin', if you please, gen'lemen. A inquest isn't +zactly the place for fun." + +He then proceeded to swear and interrogate the four new witnesses. They +took the oath decorously, kissing the book in the politest, most +gentlemanly manner. Their testimony was to the effect that young Van +Quintem passed the night of the murder, from ten P.M. till four A.M., at +Brown's, and was not absent one minute. They were able to corroborate +the fact, by a reference to pocket memorandum books, in which entries +such as "Van Q., debit $50," or "Van Q., credit $100," appeared at +intervals. As to the general character of the house, upon which several +members of the jury asked questions, they testified that it was a +species of club house, where a few gentlemen of excellent reputation +occasionally met for the purposes of innocent social intercourse. Games +of chance were sometimes played at Brown's, to while away an hour; and +betting was now and then done, in a strictly honorable and legitimate +way. Several of the jurymen would have improved the occasion, to learn +all about the internal management of Brown's; but the coroner decided +that such questions were entirely "relevant" (meaning irrelevant), and +suggested that, as there were no more witnesses, the case might as well +go to the jury. The coroner had just consulted his watch, and found that +it was four o'clock. He was aware, from the turn things had taken, that +he had lost the verdict which he hoped to obtain; but that was no reason +why he should lose his dinner. The coroner was not a man of energy; and, +being foiled in his efforts to convict Marcus Wilkeson, he had no +disposition to pursue the matter further. Besides, he had already +achieved a large measure of profitable notoriety from the case; for he +had been ridiculed and abused in most of the city papers; and _that_ +insured him, beyond all doubt, the nomination for and election to the +State Senate, for which he was an aspirant at the next fall campaign. +Under all these circumstances, the coroner was satisfied. + +The jurors, receiving but a shilling a day, and being hungry and tired, +were quite willing to wind up the case. After putting their heads +together, whispering and nodding about five minutes, the foreman +declared the following as their verdict: + +"That the deceased, Eliphalet Minford, came to his death, on the night +of the ---- day of April, 185-, from a wound inflicted on the head by a +club in the hands of some person unknown to the jurors." + +Overtop and Maltboy took the verdict as a matter of course, having +anticipated it for some time. Marcus Wilkeson, who had been in a gloomy +stupor for the past hour, and had expected the worst, looked up in +surprise at this lucky dispensation of Fate. Tears sprang to his eyes, +and he extended a hand to each of his faithful friends, by whom he was +warmly congratulated on the happy issue of the affair. The jurors also +came forward with their congratulations. Even the coroner said, "Well, +Mr. Wilkeson, I did my pootiest to hold you, because I thought you was +the murderer; but the jury doesn't indorse my 'pinion, and I gives in." +Mrs. Crull, who had been watching Marcus narrowly, and was firmly +impressed with the conviction of his innocence, came forward with a warm +hand, and tried to think of a proverb suitable to the occasion, but +could not. Patty Minford removed the veil from her face, and looked at +her benefactor. She made a motion as if to rise and go toward him. Then +an expression of doubt stole over her features; and Marcus, who observed +her at that moment, knew that the vision of the night was still before +her, and that she could not hold him guiltless though a dozen juries had +released him. This thought touched Marcus with sadness, which all the +congratulations of his friends could not disperse. + +A faint cry was heard. Old Mr. Van Quintem had fallen from his chair, +and would have dropped upon the floor, but for the strong arm of the boy +Bog. He was in the act of rising from his seat for the purpose of +offering his hand to Marcus, when the vertigo, from which he was an +occasional sufferer, seized him. + +"Poor old gentleman!" said Marcus, forgetful of all else, and rushing to +the side of his venerable friend. Directing that the windows be opened, +Marcus, aided by the boy Bog, bore the senseless form to the fresh, cool +air. The grateful breeze, and a cup of cold water applied to his brow, +soon restored the wretched father to a beginning of consciousness. + +As he lay there, more dead than alive, in the arms of his two friends, +the ingrate son, having lighted a cigar, looked coldly over the +shoulders of the bystanders at the senseless figure of his father, and +said, in the sweetest voice: + +"Poor old fellow! He has only himself to blame for kicking up all this +row. I told him it would be too much for his nerves; but he would insist +on dragging me up here. I forgive him from the bottom of my heart." + +The bystanders looked on in amazement at this speech. + +The son continued: "I'm glad to see that he is in good hands. Upon my +word, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to help a little; but +I fear that, when the old man came out of it, and saw me over him, he +would go off again. So I guess I had better leave." + +And young Van Quintem sauntered cheerfully out of the room, in company +with his four friends from Brown's. The coroner had been waiting at the +foot of the stairs for them; and the party adjourned to the nearest +drinking saloon, when the coroner, overjoyed at having got rid of a +tedious and embarrassing case, stood treat for one round. + +But who killed the inventor? + +The papers and the police, after groping for weeks in search of the +answer, turned it over to the solution of Time, with the comforting +assurance that MURDER WILL OUT. + + + +BOOK TENTH. + +DONE ON BOTH SIDES. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +A FISHER OF MEN. + +Mr. Augustus Whedell was a gentleman who had been living handsomely for +three years on his wits. + +There was nothing remarkable in Mr. Whedell's personal appearance, with +the exception of his wig. It was his fond belief that this wig looked +like natural hair; but everybody knew it was a wig across the street. He +also wore a gold double eyeglass, which he handled as effectively as a +senorita her fan. Most of his loans, credits, and extensions, had been +obtained by the dexterous manipulation of that eyeglass. + +Mr. Whedell twirled the dangerous instrument, and opened and shut it +with more than his usual grace, one evening toward the middle of April. +He was about to broach a disagreeable subject to his daughter, who, +blooming, and exquisitely dressed, sat by the fire and yawned. + +"My dear Clementina, you are now twenty years old, and ought to be +married. Delays are dangerous. What do you think of Chiffield?" + +Mr. Whedell spoke bluntly, and to the point, because he was addressing +his own daughter, and also because short speeches suited his +natural languor. + +"He's a horrid dancer!" said that young lady. + +"Granted. But when he does dance, he jingles money in his pocket." + +"He's a perfect fright, pa. You won't deny that?" + +"I won't deny that he is a plain, substantial gentleman. He has immense +feet, and he is a little bald. What of that?" + +"Oh! nothing," replied Clementina, in a tone that signified +"Everything." + +Her father caught the irony of the remark, and said: + +"My dear child, I know the natural leaning of your sex to handsome men. +You are like your mother there. But remember, they never have any +money--as a general rule. I won't undertake to explain the curious fact. +But fact it is, you will admit that." + +"Very likely. But I hate this old Chiffield." + +Mr. Whedell smiled, twirled his double eyeglass a few dozen times round +his forefinger, and said: + +"My darling daughter, listen, and you will appreciate the advantages of +this match." + +Clementina frowned, and bit her finger nails. + +"My child," continued the fond parent, "I have always concealed my +troubles from you. They can no longer be kept a secret. This house is +not mine. Most of this furniture is unpaid for. The last month's bills +at the butcher's, baker's, and grocer's are still due. I have exhausted +my credit, and don't know where to raise a dollar. That is my +'situation,' as the newspapers say." + +Clementina turned pale with amazement, and could not say a word. + +"You are willing to hear me? I will explain further. Three years ago, my +old friend Mr. Abernuckle failed. He owned this house, and, wishing to +save it from his creditors, he had previously made a sham sale of it to +me. I have occupied it free of rent. On the strength of this house, I +got credit for furniture, for clothes, for our bread and meat. On the +strength of this house, I have borrowed money enough to keep my +principal creditors at bay. On the strength of this house, we occupy +to-day a very fair position in society. On the strength of this house, I +propose to marry you." + +His daughter still looked on with open mouth, like one stupefied. + +"But, to do this, no time must be lost. My friend Abernuckle has at last +settled with his creditors at fifteen per cent., and wants possession of +the house on the 1st of May. On that day this will be our home +no longer." + +There was a fearless pull at the door bell. "It is a creditor," said Mr. +Whedell. "I will face him." + +Mr. Whedell went to the door, and returned in a few moments. "It was the +butcher," said he. "He had called twice to-day, and, not finding me in, +takes this unusual hour to ask for a settlement. The old excuses would +not do. What do you suppose I told him this time?" + +"I can't imagine. Something dreadful, I suppose," was the shuddering +reply. + +"The man had to be got rid of. We must have meat. I was at my wits' end. +So I took the liberty of telling him, confidentially, that my daughter +would marry a wealthy merchant in a few days, and asked him, as a favor, +to let the bill run on to the 1st of May. On that day he should +positively be paid. The man grumbled at first, but finally said he would +give me one more trial, and then went away. Neatly arranged, wasn't +it, my dear?" + +Mr. Whedell would have been delighted with one word of approval (even a +qualified one) from his daughter, but she would not, or could not +speak it. + +"You listen attentively, my darling. I am glad to see it. This plan +worked so well with the butcher, that I shall try it on with the +upholsterer, the baker, the grocer, the tailor, and the rest of my long +list of creditors. I shall stake all on the 1st of May. To save us from +a grand explosion, and to obtain a roof for your head and mine on the +1st of May, you must marry immediately." + +Miss Clementina Whedell, like many other people, had an unsuspected +strength of character which only a great occasion could call out. "It is +perfectly atrocious," said she, at length, "and I am making a grave +sacrifice of my happiness; but I suppose I must do it. Are you sure this +Chiffield is rich?" + +"Now, you are my own dear daughter!" said Mr. Whedell, tossing his +double eyeglass up and catching it, as was his custom when exulting. +"Your question is a prudent one, and worthy of you. I am happy to inform +you that Chiffield is worth one hundred and fifty thousand dollars." + +Clementina smiled faintly, though she tried to look like a martyr. + +"I learn this from the tax rolls. When Chiffield first began to call +here, and showed a profound interest in my conversation, I knew that he +was after you, and I thought it best to look into his resources. The tax +rolls, which are the best possible evidence, show that he has ten lots +in Harlem, with a cottage tenement on each of them, and several acres +now rented to German gardeners in the Twelfth Ward. These are rated in a +lump at seventy-five thousand dollars, which is a low estimate. So much +for the real estate. Now the personal property of Upjack, Chiffield & +Co. is valued on the same tax rolls (which always understate it) at +three hundred thousand dollars. Suppose Chiffield to own a one-fourth +interest only, and there you have the item of seventy-five thousand +dollars more. Grand total, one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. A +nearer figure would probably be two hundred thousand dollars; but I will +not build castles in the air for you. Chiffield is only forty--which is, +in fact, young. He is healthy and energetic. The firm are making money. +He will yet be a millionnaire. Confess, now, that I have chosen +wisely for you." + +Here another decisive pull at the door bell. Mr. Whedell answered it in +person. Returning, he merely said, giving his double eyeglass a fillip, +"The furniture man. Have fixed him for the 1st of May. So far, the plan +works well." + +"But are you sure, pa," asked the discreet Clementina, "that Mr. +Chiffield will offer himself?" + +"Positive; because he has always been so very attentive to me. When men +flatter, and study the hobbies of the father, they are after the +daughter in earnest. Mr. Chiffield's very figure--the cut of his jib, so +to speak--is that of a marrying man. Only you must give him some little +encouragement. Not keep him at a distance, as you have hitherto done." + +"But he may not be anxious to marry before the 1st of May. Then what?" + +"Poor thing! how little you understand mankind! He will marry you at +twenty-four hours' notice, if you will let him. All men are alike +impatient and unreasonable in such matters. It is the women who hold +back--after they are safely engaged." + +"La, pa! how knowingly you talk!" + +"I flatter myself I know something of the human species," returned Mr. +Whedell. "Ah! another ring. Too faint for a creditor. Mr. +Chiffield, perhaps." + + + +CHAPTER II. + +PLAYING WITH THE LINE. + +The conjecture was correct. But with Mr. Chiffield came Matthew Maltboy. +They had arrived on the door steps at the same moment, coming from +different directions. + +Mr. Whedell received Chiffield with his heartiest grip, and inflicted +only a mild squeeze on the hand of Maltboy, whose appearance at that +time he considered decidedly unfortunate. The father thought he had +observed in Clementina signs of preference for that corpulent young +lawyer. He was pained to see that Clementina barely extended the tips of +her fingers to Chiffield, while to Maltboy she gave her whole palm with +great cordiality. Not only this, but she encouraged Maltboy to take a +seat by her, and commenced talking with him of the opera, of balls, of +new music, of fashions, of the last novel, rattling away on these +subjects as if her whole soul were wrapped up in the discussion. It was +almost a monologue. Maltboy's part consisted of "Yes;" "I think so too;" +"We agree perfectly," and adjectives of admiration occasionally thrown +in. That musical voice! He could have listened with rapture to its +recital of the multiplication table. + +Mr. Chiffield and Mr. Whedell had settled themselves on a _tete-a-tete_, +and, after some cursory observations on the weather, commenced talking +of finance--a theme of which neither of those gentlemen ever tired. + +"So money is getting tighter?" said Mr. Whedell, after a pause to digest +the awful truth which Mr. Chiffield had imparted to him. "Now I +shouldn't be surprised, sir, to hear of failures before long, and in +quarters where the public least expect them." + +If Mr. Whedell's double eyeglass had been astride his nose instead of +swinging in his fingers, he might have noticed a faint paleness blending +with the deep yellow of Mr. Chiffield's complexion. That gentleman +replied, a little more quickly than was his wont: + +"A few small, weak houses may go down, perhaps, but the strong ones will +weather the storm easy enough. If our establishment could live through +1847, it is in no danger now." + +"And such was the good fortune of Upjack, Chiffield & Co., I well +remember," said Mr. Whedell. + +Mr. Chiffield bowed his gracious acknowledgment of the handsome +historical allusion. + +"How is Erie, Mr. Chiffield?" + +"Looking up." + +"Sure of it?" + +"A leading Wall-street man told me, this afternoon, it would advance +three per cent. this week. I have a slight interest in watching it," +said Mr. Chiffield, smiling. + +"So have I," said Mr. Whedell, smiling also. + +Daring their conversation, and the remainder of their financial +dialogue, Mr. Whedell kept one ear, and occasionally one eye, inclined +toward his daughter and the favored Maltboy. If there was a hint +conveyed in those side glances at his daughter, she either did not +notice it, or did not choose to take it. Sometimes Mr. Chiffield looked +in the same direction, but casually, as it were, and without one sign of +impatience visible in the depths of his calm brown eyes. Mr. Chiffield +was not a nervous man. + +Matthew Maltboy was so perfectly free from selfishness at this moment, +that he would cheerfully have spared a few words from Miss Whedell's +delightful monologue for the gratification of his late rival ("late" was +now decidedly the word, in Maltboy's opinion) over the way. In the +exercise of his large charity and compassion, he pitied that +unfortunate, sadly disappointed dealer in dry goods. + +This pity, as Matthew used to say in after days, was thrown away. At the +end of a brilliant description of a new set of quadrilles which Miss +Whedell had danced at a sociable the night before, that young lady said, +"Excuse me," and crossed the room to a what-not in the corner, and +searched for something among a pile of magazines and pictures. The +thought that she was making efforts to please him, tickled Matthew's +vanity. While she was overhauling the pile, Mr. Whedell left his seat by +Chiffield, and took the one just vacated by his daughter. Matthew +received him with the diplomatic courtesy due to the parent of one's +enchantress, and made a well-meant if not novel remark on the state of +the weather. Mr. Whedell mildly disputed his proposition (whatever it +was)--for Mr. W. was always disputatious on that subject--and then +passed to the consideration of national politics. "The one topic +natually suggests the other," said Mr. Whedell, "for they are equally +variable." This was one of the father's few standard jokes; and Maltboy +always laughed at it with the heartiness of a future son-in-law. They +then grappled with the great theme in earnest. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +PULLING IN. + +Clementina, having found what she sought, glided to the chair which her +father had relinquished, and said, coquettishly, "Now I have come to +entertain _you_, Mr. Chiffield. You were speaking of Niagara Falls, the +other day. Here are some photographs of them, taken for me on the spot." +She handed the pictures to Mr. Chiffield. That gentleman took them with +a profound bow, glanced over them, and said, "How elegant!" "What rich +scenery!" "How tasty they are got up, a'n't they?" "This is the showiest +picture;" "Here's a neat one," &c., &c., &c. Mr. Chiffield had +contracted the use of a certain class of highly descriptive adjectives +in selling dry goods. Clementina watched him narrowly, and thought how +nicely she could manage this heavy fellow. + +"How many times have you been to the Falls?" she asked, when Chiffield +had shuffled through the photographs twice. + +"Three times," said Chiffield, telling a white lie; for he had seen them +at morning, noon, and evening on the same day. "And how often have you +visited them, Miss Whedell?" + +"Oh! so often I can't remember. My last visit was early last autumn. Oh! +pa, did we go to Niagara Falls before or after our trip to the White +Mountains?" + +"After it, my child," replied the father, who maintained a cocked ear +toward his child. "Don't you recollect we went from the Falls to Lake +George, and stayed there till the first week in November? That was the +year we omitted Newport and Saratoga, for a wonder," he added, conveying +the idea, in a look to Mr. Chiffield, that such an omission was a marvel +in their annual experiences. + +"You love the Falls, I suppose?" said Mr. Chiffield. + +"Oh! not much. I think they're dreadfully overrated." Clementina was +determined not to be won too cheaply. + +"So I think," said Chiffield, delighted to speak his real sentiments +this time; "though everybody is obliged to praise 'em, because that's +the fashion." + +"But, though the Falls a'n't much, I must say the balls and hops are +delightful. The fresh air there seems to give one strength to dance all +night without a bit of fatigue. I bought these pictures because they +show the hotels and other places where I have had such delicious +dances." + +Chiffield execrated dancing, because he had large feet, and legs +slightly bowed. He moved in the cotillon or waltz with a certain +elephantine ponderousness and sagacity. Therefore she tantalized him +with these reminiscences. + +"You see the Clifton House, there, on the Canada side? One night I +danced eight waltzes, six polkas, four quadrilles, three fancy dances, +and wound up, at five o'clock, with the German." + +"Wonderful!" observed Chiffield, not knowing what else to say. + +"Perhaps you think I was tired? Oh! not a particle. Next night we had a +little hop on Table Rock. It was got up on short notice, but perfectly +charming, I assure you. There were only two fiddles, and sometimes the +noise of the Falls would almost drown the music. The fiddlers had to +scrape so hard, that they gave out about three o'clock, and we had to +give up the dancing, and go home, very much disappointed." + +"Unlucky, indeed!" interjected Chiffield. + +"But the next night we had two extra fiddlers. They relieved the other +two at midnight, and then we danced till daybreak. Oh! such a glorious +time. Next year, when I heard that a part of Table Rock had tumbled into +the horrid river, I could have cried." + +"It was a great shame, indeed!" said Chiffield. + +"Isn't this view of Suspension Bridge natural?" she asked + +"Amazing!" said Chiffield; and he ventured to add that he considered +that bridge to be a great triumph of human genius. + +"I dare say it is. But I didn't think of that. I was only going to tell +you how the gentlemen of our Table Rock party tried to hire the use of +the bridge one night to dance on. The owners wouldn't let it. Mean, +weren't they?" + +"Contemptible!" replied Chiffield. + +"We should have had it nicely swept and lighted. The breeze coming down +the river would have been beautiful, and the awful noise of the Falls +wouldn't have been too loud for the music. But we almost made up for our +disappointment. Next night, the gentlemen hired the 'Maid of the +Mist'--the little steamboat, you know, that you see in this picture--and +we sailed round and round below the Falls all night, dancing all the +time. We went so near the Falls twice, that I got quite wet with the +nasty spray, and caught cold; but that didn't prevent me from dancing +all the next night, at the International. You have a good view of the +house in this picture." + +"Tasty," said Chiffield. + +Mr. Whedell and Maltboy had not lost a word of this conversation, though +they had been mutually boring each other with complex sentences about +national politics. Happily, the discussion required no mental effort, +and left them both free to hear and make mental comments on the dialogue +that buzzed across the way. + +Mr. Whedell regretted that his daughter should expatiate with such +vivacity upon a subject that must be extremely disagreeable to a +gentleman of Mr. Chiffield's large figure and steady habits. To the +cultivated judgment of Maltboy, it was evident that the young lady was +trying to amuse Chiffield merely for the purpose of annoying him +(Maltboy). Experience had taught Matthew the best kind of cure for this +species of female perversity. He determined to leave the house, and +thereby show that he was not to be trifled with. + +Availing himself of a pause in the dissertations on national politics, +Maltboy pulled out his watch and consulted it. "Why!" said he; "nine +o'clock! And I was to be in Fourteenth street by half past eight. Only +intended to drop in just to see how you were. You really must excuse me, +Mr. Whedell." Matthew rose as he spoke, to show that his mind was made +up, and remonstrances would be useless. + +"Don't go. Put off your other call," ejaculated Mr. "Whedell, at the +same time rising, and thereby indicating a perfect acquiescence in the +departure of his guest. + +"You are in a hurry," said Miss Whedell, calmly, but without objection +in voice or eye. + +Mr. Chiffield looked calmly at his rival; and none but a skilled student +of physiognomy could have discovered a gleam of triumph in his dull, +yellow face. + +Maltboy was disappointed in the calm demeanor of Miss Whedell; but, +strong in his purpose, he walked toward the door, followed by the +father. As he passed into the entry, he bowed coldly to the lady of his +heart, and drew from her a scarcely perceptible nod. + +At this moment, a valuable thought occurred to the paternal Whedell. + +"My dear Maltboy," said he, closing the parlor door, "excuse the +abruptness of the question; but could you lend me a couple of hundred?" + +The question was indeed abrupt, but not altogether unexpected. Mr. Quigg +had apprised Maltboy of Mr. Whedell's financial weakness; but the +infatuation of the ardent young bachelor had led him to disregard that +warning. He was fully prepared to say, "Yes, with pleasure," and he +did say so. + +"Thank you," said the gratified parent. "Only want it a few days." Mr. +Whedell was too great an adept in the art of borrowing, to waste words +of tedious explanation and gratitude, which only produce an impression +that the borrower does not mean to pay. He accepted Maltboy's reply as a +matter of course. + +"If not too much trouble, could you give me a check to-night?" asked +Mr. Whedell. "Have a payment to make before bank hours to-morrow." + +"Most readily, my dear sir," replied the amiable Matthew. "Have you pen +and paper convenient?" + +"In this room, Mr. Maltboy," said his host, ushering him into a little +apartment at the end of the entry, which contained a few books, and was +passed off upon a credulous world as Mr. Whedell's library. The gas was +lighted, writing materials were produced, and, in less than three +minutes, Matthew Maltboy had put his name at the bottom of a check on +the ---- Bank, for two hundred dollars. He did so smiling, and with a +full consciousness that he had sustained a dead loss to that extent. But +he was always too good-natured to deny a friend; and, in this particular +case, he felt that he was buying a perpetual free admission to the +house, and a usufructuary interest in the fascinations of Clementina. +The idea of marriage with that young lady had never occurred to him. He +never troubled himself with problems of the future. + +"All right," said Mr. Whedell, folding up the check carelessly, and +putting it in his pocket. "Shall I give you my note?" + +"Oh, no!" said the willing victim, blandly. "Hand it me any time, at +your convenience." + +"Can return it within a week," responded Mr. Whedell; "but, on some +accounts, the 1st of May will suit me best, if perfectly agreeable +to you." + +"As you please." + +"We will call it the 1st of May, then. I regret you are in a hurry, sir. +But remember, we are always happy to see you here." + +With this pleasant remark ringing in his ears, and fully compensating +him for the loss of his two hundred dollars, Maltboy hastened home, but +did not tell his friends of his adventure; but he smoked and mused over +it agreeably, and was totally unmindful of the truth announced by Mr. +Quigg on New Year's day, when speaking of this same Whedell, that +"somehow debtors always give the cold shoulder to creditors, as if the +creditors owed the money." + +Mr. Whedell, left to his own society, flattered himself that he had +turned a rejected lover to a good account, and entered his library and +sat down in the cold, that he might not, by his presence, mar the +harmonious progress of the courtship upon which so much depended, in +the parlor. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE FIRST OF MAY. + +Mr. Chiffield proposed, was accepted, and was married in a Broadway +church about the middle of April. The affair was simplicity +itself--bridesmaids, groomsmen, costly wedding costume, and the +subsequent conventional reception at the bride's residence being +dispensed with. The ceremony was witnessed only by the officiating +minister, the sexton, the happy father, and about two hundred of the +floating population of Broadway, including a number of pickpockets, one +of whom sounded the recesses of the coat tails appertaining unto Mr. +Whedell and his son-in-law, as they were coming out of church, and found +nothing in them. + +The Siamese twins of the soul passed from the church amid the sneers, +criticisms, and suppressed laughter of the spectators--who united in +pronouncing the ceremony a shabby affair, not worth looking at--and, +entering a carriage with Mr. Whedell, were driven to the New Jersey +Railroad Depot furiously, as if they had been guilty of some crime +against society. At the depot, Mr. Whedell kissed his daughter in +public, and not without a touch of the melodrama, for which he had +cherished a fondness in his earlier days, and wrung the hand of his +son-in-law. The train bore the couple away toward the city of +Washington, where a portion of that indefinite season known as the +honeymoon was to be passed, amid every discomfort that money could +purchase. Why they should have gone to Washington in pursuit of bad +hotels, and other miseries, when they could have procured them in so +many other parts of the country for a quarter of the money, was +something which Mr. Chiffield was never able to explain to his own +satisfaction. + +He afterward bitterly regretted that he had not made the nuptial trip to +Newburg, or some place near the city, where the expenses would have been +more moderate. But we anticipate. + +Mr. and Mrs. Chiffield had been absent ten days. They were expected home +on the 28th day of April; but a letter from Clementina informed her +father that she had taken a bad cold, was confined to her room, and +could not return before the 1st of May. The brief note was written in a +crabbed hand, and exhibited spots, which, if not lemon juice, were +tears. She made no allusion to her husband, but wound up by saying, "Oh, +pa! I am an unhappy girl!" + +This intelligence was a thorn in the bed of Mr. Whedell's comfort. Had +he not arranged to settle with his creditors on the 1st of May? Was not +the owner of the house occupied and used by him to resume possession on +that eventful day? And was not everything--even his daily +food--dependent on the return of his children, as he fondly called them, +with their pockets full of money? What if this infernal cold should keep +them in Washington until after the 1st of May? As Mr. Whedell thought of +himself, turned adrift, and a wanderer, he invariably tore out a few of +the gray hairs which could be poorly spared from his venerable skull. + +Mr. Whedell had a deep and unchanging faith in his ill luck; but, this +time, he was pleasantly disappointed. The morning train on the 1st of +May brought back his children to him. They arrived just as those +Bedouins of civilization--the New Yorkers--were beginning to indulge +their nomadic propensities. The streets were full of wagons and drays +laden with jingling stoves, rickety bedsteads, conspicuous crockery, and +other damaged Penates, on the way to new domiciles. Fortunately, the +owner of Mr. Whedell's residence had not yet come to claim possession. +Creditors are early birds; but the hour--sis and a half A.M.--was even +too early for them; and only one--Mr. Rickarts, the shoemaker--had +called. He had been disposed of in the library, by the servant, under +the pretence that Mr. Whedell was not yet up. But Mr. Whedell was up and +dressed before six o'clock, and was watching for the expected carriage, +through the window blinds of his apartment. He ran down to the door with +juvenile briskness to receive the returning ones. + +Mrs. Chiffield looked pale and jaded. Her hair was carelessly arranged, +and her bonnet awry--unerring indications of fathomless female misery. +To the anxious inquiry by her parent after her health, she only replied, +"Horrid!" Mr. Chiffield wore the aspect of a man who is disappointed in +his just expectations. He gave a hearty grip to the proffered hand of +his father-in-law, but he quarrelled with the driver over the fare, and +abused him in an under tone, by way of relieving himself. + +"And how did you like Washington, my child?" said the fond father, in +his tenderest voice. + +"I hate it!" said Mrs. Chiffield, hurrying into the house, as if she +were running away from her husband. + +"Hum. Well, I'm not surprised that she dislikes the capital. I believe +most visitors do. Clemmy seems to be a little nervous from travelling, +eh?" Mr. Whedell addressed these remarks to his son-in-law. + +"Nervous? Perhaps she is just a trifle nervous, sir. All women are." + +"True--true! One of the peculiarities of the sex. Well, you have had a +pleasant time, I trust?" + +"Pleasant time? Oh! yes--delightful! Your daughter is a charming girl, +sir, and will make a most excellent wife." Mr. Chiffield spoke as if he +were very much in earnest, but the expression of his face was not +of rapture. + +"She is a treasure, sir--a perfect treasure!" replied the doting parent. +"It cost me many pangs to part with her. I trust that we shall not be +separated now. Why should we be? There are but three of us--just enough +for a happy family." Mr. Whedell was hinting at a home under the future +roof of his son-in-law. + +"I agree with you perfectly," said Mr. Chiffield, with unaffected +eagerness. "Let us live together always. It will suit me exactly." He +was thinking of free board and lodging at the house of his +father-in-law. + +The couple shook hands, mutually pleased at the prospect, and beamed on +each other. + +A part of this conversation took place in the hall, into which the +hackman had borne the travellers' luggage. A pull was heard at the door +bell--a loud, confident pull--which Mr. Whedell knew could be inflicted +only by a creditor. It would not do to admit his son-in-law into his +budget of family secrets just yet. So he said: + +"Now, Chiffield, you must need some rest. Let me not detain you, my dear +fellow. Your room is on the first floor. I'll show it to you." + +Mr. Whedell snatched a carpet bag out of the hand of his son-in-law, and +hurried up stairs with him. Having turned that gentleman into the +apartment reserved for him, and shut the door, Mr. Whedell paused at the +head of the stairs, and listened for the developments below. The +servant, after waiting for two or three more jerks at the bell, so as to +be quite sure that it was the bell, went to the door, and there found +Mr. Numble, the butcher, who supplied the Whedells with meat on the +strength of the brownstone front. + +Pursuant to instructions, the servant explained that Mr. Whedell was not +up, and asked him to walk into the library and wait a few minutes. Mr. +Numble growled--as if he scented deception not far off--but allowed +himself to be conducted into the library. There he discovered Mr. +Rickarts, the shoemaker, taking down the few books which graced the +shelves of the library, and evidently pricing them with an unpractised +eye. The two gentlemen knew each other, and straightway engaged in a +brisk dialogue about the weather. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +DEMOLITION OF CERTAIN AIR CASTLES. + +The coast being clear, Mr. Whedell hastened down stairs to the front +parlor, where his daughter had secluded herself immediately after her +entrance into the house. She was lying back on the sofa, with her bonnet +on, biting the ends of her gloves, and staring into space. She did not +appear to observe her father. + +Mr. Whedell seated himself on the other end of the sofa, and reached out +his hand, as if he would have taken his daughter's caressingly within +it. If that was his intention, it was frustrated by her drawing the hand +away. Then the father heaved a sigh, and said: + +"Ah, my child, I am so thankful that you have returned to-day. You will +save us from ruin." + +"_I_ save you from ruin!" said Mrs. Chiffield, in a hollow voice. +"That's a good joke!" + +Mr. Whedell grinned a ghastly smile, as if he did not precisely see the +point of the jest. "Joke or no joke," said he, "I must look to you for +some money to put off the infernal creditors, who have begun to flock +into the house. There's the bell. Hang me, if it isn't another one! To +come to the point, then, I wish you would loan me, say two hundred +dollars. It is a small amount, but will stave them off a week or two." + +"Two hundred dollars!" Mrs. Chiffield opened her fine eyes in amazement. + +"That's all. Perhaps you have saved up the amount from your pin money? +Or, if you have been a little extravagant, and spent it all, why, then, +perhaps you can get it from Mr. Chiffield this morning?" + +The daughter laughed bitterly again. "I tell you, father," said she, +"that this man is the meanest creature that walks OB two legs. He has +not spent fifty dollars on both of us, during our absence. As for me, I +have never got a cent from him, though I have dropped a thousand hints +about new bonnets, dresses, and jewelry." + +"Gracious heavens!" cried Mr. Whedell, turning pale "But then," he +added, with an effort to laugh, "Mr. Chiffield is a business man, and +was an old bachelor. He knows nothing of women's wants. It must be your +mission to teach him what they are." + +"Pooh!" said the daughter; "I don't believe he has got any money." + +"Don't talk so, my child. You put me in a cold sweat." + +"Anyhow, I examined his pocket, last night, when he was asleep in the +cars, and found only five dollars there." + +Mr. Whedell's jaw dropped. "Oh, no! it can't be," said he, at length. +"Mr. Chiffield must be a rich man. You remember his fine horses at +Saratoga and Newport. You remember how much his society was courted by +mammas with disposable daughters. They never patronize poor young men. +Their instinct in finding out rich ones is unerring. And furthermore, +Mr. Chiffield is a member of a firm twenty years old, who are marked 'A +No. 1' on the books of a mercantile agency, that makes it a business to +pry into other people's affairs. I paid ten dollars for the information, +only a month ago. He must be rich! He must be rich!" Mr. Whedell +repeated it twice, as if the repetition put the question of Chiffield's +opulence beyond a doubt. "Ha! there goes that dreadful bell again!" + +"What you say may be true, but I don't believe a word of it, till I have +the proofs," replied the daughter, who seemed to delight in taking a +gloomy view of her case. "Why--will you believe it?--I can't get him +even to talk about engaging a house in New York. He always dodges the +subject, somehow. Upon my word, I think he expects to quarter on you for +the balance of his life. That would be rich!" + +Mr. Whedell raised his eyebrows, and emitted a doleful whistle. +Reflecting, he said: + +"You may misjudge him. Perhaps he doesn't like to disturb Love's young +dream, by looking into the future. That's all--I'm sure of it." + +"Humbug!" ejaculated Mrs. Chiffield. + +"Poor thing!" said her father, tenderly. "There--cheer up. Depend upon +it, that you have got a rich husband, who will take all our troubles off +our shoulders. Stay here, and I will go up stairs and sound him." + +Mr. Whedell proceeded to the apartment where his son-in-law was shut up, +and found that individual in a deep fit of meditation. + +"Thinking--and so soon after marriage?" said Mr. Whedell, with a +charming smile. + +"Oh, yes; and I was thinking how much happier is a married man than a +bachelor." + +"You will always think so, I am sure, with my dear Clemmy as your wife. +My dear Clemmy! How naturally that phrase comes to my lips. And you are +about to take her away. It's a foolish thought, but I hardly know how I +shall live without her." Mr. Whedell paused, for effect, and +contemplated the vermicular work in the carpet. + +"A happy thought strikes me," said Chiffield. "You have a house here, +already furnished. Let us occupy it free of rent, and I will pay the +housekeeping bills of the establishment. That will be mutually +advantageous, and will especially suit your daughter, who, of course, +has a child's attachment for home. What do you say to the proposition, +respected father-in-law?" + +Mr. Whedell did not catch at it with the alacrity that was expected of +him. "A capital plan," said he, at length; "but, unfortunately, the +house is not mine. I only lease it." + +Chiffield's lips puckered up. "That's curious," thought he. "The old +fellow must have put his money into bonds and stocks. Well, they are the +best-paying investments." + +Mr. Whedell proceeded to break the news of his penniless condition to +his son-in-law, gently. "Mr. Chiffield," said he, "as a wholesale +dealer in dry goods, you must have observed, perhaps at times +experienced, the fickleness of fortune." + +"Can he suspect?" thought Chiffield. "And what if he does? The truth +cannot be concealed much longer. But I will pump him a little further +before disclosing all." + +"Yes," said he; "our firm, like others, has had its ups and downs; but +then, business would not be interesting without some little risks, +you know." + +The easy manner of his son-in-law convinced Mr. Whedell that no "little +risks" had shaken the firm of Upjack, Chiffield & Co. "Ah, yes," said +he. "Rich to-day, poor to-morrow--the history of the world. As every +person may learn this by his own sad experience, some time or other, he +ought to be lenient in judging of those who have become reduced from +wealth to poverty." + +"Can he mean me?" thought the son-in-law. "Faith! it sounds very much +like it. If so, his manner of broaching the subject is truly generous +and delicate." + +"I agree with you," said he, aloud. "Money does not make the man." It is +a safe adage, and Chiffield quoted it intrepidly. + +"True--true!" replied Mr. Whedell. "Money is but a small item in the sum +of earthly happiness. Take the institution of marriage, for example. +What gives to that institution its blessedness--love, or money?" + +"Love," responded the unhesitating Chiffield. + +"The promptness of that reply shows that he does not expect a fortune +with Clemmy," thought Mr. Whedell. + +"He must suspect--perhaps already knows--the truth," thought Chiffield. +"How kind in him to spare me the least humiliation!" + +"That person is truly rich," continued Mr. Whedell, "rich beyond +expression, who brings pure love and exalted virtues into the +married state." + +"Generous father-in-law!" thought Chiffield. "He knows that I am ruined. +Yet how nobly he treats me! I may cast away all reserve now." + +"It would be an affectation, sir," said Chiffield, aloud, "to pretend +that I do not understand to whom you refer, my dear father-in-law." + +"The glorious fellow!" thought Mr. Whedell. "He guesses what I am about +to disclose, and yet calls me a dear father-in-law." + +Chiffield continued: "To save any further circumlocution, sir, and in +order that we may fully understand each other, I will say at once, that +we are completely--ruined!" + +"Ha! What! Who ruined?" + +"The house of Upjack, Chiffield & Co. I--I thought you knew it." + +"Ruined, sir!" cried Mr. Whedell, livid with horror. He choked for +further utterance. + +"Yes, sir," said Chiffield, who, being a fat man, was happily calm; +"totally ruined." + +"You impudent scoundrel! out of this house!" shrieked Mr. Whedell, +rising from his chair, and glaring like a wildcat at his son-in-law. + +"Be calm," said that phlegmatic individual. "I respect your age." + +"Curse your impudence! what do you mean by my age?" (approaching +Chiffield in a threatening manner). "I'll let you know, sir, that I am +young enough to kick a swindler like you into the street." + +"Pray compose yourself, sir," returned the bland Chiffield. "Your +surprise and excitement are natural, and therefore pardonable. But my +affairs are, after all, not quite as bad as they might be. I have a sure +prospective fortune, if not a present one." + +"What do you mean, sir?" asked Mr. Whedell, not quite so savage as +before. + +"That I have talents, energy, a large business acquaintance," said the +cheerful Chiffield. + +"Humbug!" roared Mr. Whedell. "What is all that stuff good for, without +money?" + +"Not much, I admit," was the conciliatory reply. "There fore, sir, to +come to the point at once, advance me ten thousand dollars to start in +business again, and I will make a fortune in three years. It was the +outside speculations of my partners that ruined me. Perhaps you don't +know that dry goods are going up, sir? Now's the time to buy." + +"This man will drive me mad!" shrieked Mr. Whedell, combing his hair +wildly with his hands. + +"Regard it in the light of a family investment," suggested the soothing +Chiffield. + +"You diabolical scoundrel!" yelled Mr. Whedell, in a partial asphyxia of +rage; "if I had a million dollars to-day, I wouldn't give you a cent. +You should starve first. But I want to tell you--and hang me if it isn't +a pleasure, too--that I am a beggar, sir--a beggar, sir--a beggar, sir! +By noon to-day I shall be turned out of this house. And, by Jove! I'm +glad of it, for then I shall get rid of you." During this _adagio_ +passage, the speaker shook his fist within a few inches of +Chiffield's nose. + +The summery Chiffield answered, with a hearty laugh: "I see," said he; +"it's a regular sell on both sides. However, neither of us is worse off +than he was, since neither of us had anything. As for me, I have gained +one point, for I have a tolerably good-looking wife." + +Mr. Whedell was about to retort in a vein of unmitigated ferocity, when +Mrs. Chiffield, who had been listening in the entry, and could contain +herself no longer, rushed into the room, and, brandishing a small +clenched hand in the face of her laughing spouse, forcibly observed: + +"You sneaking, swindling, cheating, lying, black-hearted, ill-looking +pauper, scoundrel, and vagabond!" + +"Very prettily said," remarked the imperturbable Chiffield. + +"You miserable thief!" continued his matrimonial partner, aiming a blow +at him, which he playfully parried; "why didn't you tell me you were +a beggar?" + +"Why? Because you didn't ask me. For that matter, why didn't you or +your father tell me that _you_ were beggars?" + +"I sha'n't answer your insulting questions, you mean, deceiving, ugly, +ungentlemanly--" (no other epithet suggesting itself.) At this crisis, +the infuriated wife burst into tears, and wished several times that +she was dead. + +"Poor, dear wifey!" said the emollient Chiffield. + +"None of your 'poor dears' to my daughter, you jailbird!" screamed Mr. +Whedell. + +"Now, don't get excited, father-in-law." + +"How dare you call me father-in-law, sir!" + +"Perhaps you prefer the more endearing epithet of 'poppy,' sir?" + +"Monster! will you leave my house?" + +"Have you any good old brandy on hand?" asked Chiffield. + +"Brandy! No. If you want brandy, sir, go to the d---l for it." + +"Not quite so far, thank you," retorted Chiffield the genial; "but I +don't mind walking to the next corner for a smash." + +Chiffield rose, put on his hat, and stepped toward the door. + +"Good-by, wifey. I sha'n't be gone long." + +A growl, bisected by a sob, was the only reply. + +"By-by, poppy," said Chiffield, with a flippant wave of the hand. + +Mr. Whedell cast at him a look of scorn, to which justice could be done +in no known language; and Chiffield, with a bow of exceeding grace, left +father and child to their reflections. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +MR. WHEDEEL'S CREDITORS IN CONVENTION ASSEMBLED. + +These reflections, which were neither profitable nor interesting to the +parties immediately concerned, were interrupted by a peculiarly +rigorous pull at the door bell. Pulls of a startling description had +come so often, the previous ten minutes, that Mr. Whedell had quite +ceased to notice them. But this long and strong pull caused him to +start, and remark, "It must be Quigg." + +It was Quigg, who had come to make his last appeal. He was by far the +heaviest creditor. The unfortunate servant girl, acting under her +general instructions, would fain have shown him into the parlor, where +his fellow sufferers, having overrun the library and dining room, were +already in strong force; but Quigg, having immense interests at stake, +would stand no such nonsense. + +"Where is Whedell?" said he. "I can't dance attendance on him all day." + +It was always remarked that Quigg put off his slow and stately method of +speech, when dealing with obstinate debtors. + +The terrified Mary lost her presence of mind, and replied; "In the first +floor, front." Quigg mounted the stairs with surprising agility, and +gave a hard rap at the door of the first floor front. + +Mr. Whedell said, in a voice calm with despair, "Come in." In the few +minutes that had elapsed since the retirement of Chiffield, Mr. Whedell +had privately determined to give up everything to his creditors, leaving +them to divide the spoils among themselves, and then to go out, expend +his last quarter on a dose of poison, and end his existence. This +resolution, suddenly taken, imparted preternatural composure both to his +mind and his face. He could now see his way out of all difficulties--or +out of the world, which is the same thing. Clementina, who had not yet +risen to that height of philosophy, buried her face in her hands, and +sobbed with fresh violence. + +Quigg entered, and at a glance saw that he had lost. He stopped short in +the bow that he was intending to make. + +"Well, Whedell," said he, roughly, "how are things to-day?" By "things," +he always meant money. + +"Not a penny," said Mr. Whedell. "I've done my best to pay you, and +failed." + +"Just as I expected. Serves me right. I never was forbearing with a +debtor, that I didn't get chiselled this way. Strike me if I ever make +the mistake again. This marriage of your daughter's, which was going to +set you up in funds, has proved a fizzle, eh? Instead of taking somebody +in, you have been taken in yourself." + +Quigg laughed; and then remembering that a delinquent debtor was before +him, assumed his wonted serious aspect. + +At this allusion, poor Mrs. Chiffield burst into tears again. Mr. +Whedell adroitly turned the circumstance to advantage. He pointed to +her, and said, "There is my reply." + +Quigg felt that he was losing ground on these side issues. "Well, +Whedell, we must have a settlement to day. You owe me one hundred and +fifty dollars. Turn over all your furniture to me, and we'll call +it square." + +Mrs. Chiffield doubled her sobs anew. But Mr. Whedell said, "Very good. +Take everything, I shall want nothing where I am going." + +Quigg had been accustomed to these dark hints from contumacious debtors, +and was not to be frightened. "I accept your offer," said he, "and will +take everything." + +At this moment, a rush, as of many feet, was heard upon the stairs. The +owners of the feet appeared to be literally tumbling up in their anxiety +to get up. By the time Quigg could open the door, a half dozen flushed +persons were ready to step in, and did so, brushing him aside. More than +a score of others followed, and all plunged pell mell into the presence +of Mr. Whedell and daughter. + +"Here we are, Mr. Whedell, by appintment," said the spokesman of the +party, Rickarts, the shoemaker. + +"I see you are," responded the placid Whedell. "Take seats, if you can +find them, gentlemen." This with a real smile, for he thought of the +arsenic, and the immeasurable relief that it would afford him. + +"We don't want seats, Mr. Whedell; and, if we did, there isn't enough +for all of us. We want our pay, and have got tired of waitin' down +stairs for it. You put us all off to the 1st of May, you know, expecting +you said, to raise money enough by the marriage of your daughter (excuse +the remark, marm, but business is business) to pay off all of us. We +found, on comparin' notes down stairs, this mornin', that you had told +the same story to everybody. Now, sir, as your daughter is married, +accordin' to the papers, and the 1st of May has arriv', will you be good +enough to square up?" + +Mr. Whedell smiled touchingly. "My good and patient friends," said he, +"nothing would give me greater pleasure--I might say, without +exaggeration, rapture--than to pay all that I owe, with compound +interest thrown in. But, unfortunately for my excellent intentions, I +have no money." + +"Blast me if that isn't just what we expected! I told 'em, down stairs, +that I'd bet ten to one you couldn't or wouldn't raise any think out of +your son-in-law." + +"Your name is Rickarts, I believe?" asked Mr. Whedell. + +"Yes, Rickarts!" growled the owner of the appellation, "You ought to +know it by this time; for I've dunned you often enough." + +"True, Mr. Rickarts, but then I have so many creditors, you see, that I +cannot be expected to know them all. I merely wanted to observe, Mr. +Rickarts, that, at least, _you_ have not been disappointed in your +expectations. Furthermore, that if you had made a bet of ten to one, it +wouldn't have been a bad speculation for you." + +Cries of "Pshaw!" "Humbug!" "Swindled!" "Done for!" and kindred +expressions, arose from all sides. The spokesman said: "We ha'n't got no +time to joke, Mr. Whedell. We have only to remark, now, that the best +thing for you to do is to give up your furniture, without the trouble +and expense of a lot of lawsuits." + +"You are perfectly welcome to the whole of it, my good friends," said +Mr. Whedell. + +"The, deuce they are!" cried Quigg. "Why, you have just turned it over +to me!" + +"I give it to all of you, singly and collectively, severally and +jointly," responded the happy, melancholy man. "Divide it among +yourselves, and leave me." + +The small creditors, under twenty dollars, took a favorable view of the +proposition. One of them immediately jumped on a bureau having a marble +top and elaborately carved legs, and expressed his willingness to take +that for his pay. Another laid violent hands on the heavy yellow window +curtains, and declared himself satisfied. A third commenced ripping up a +corner of the carpet, and notified all persons that he claimed _that_. +The original owner of the bureau, curtains, and carpet, who had +furnished the house, and held an exalted rank among the principal +creditors, objected to this summary disposition of the property. Quigg, +in very emphatic but improper English, insisted that he had the largest +and first claim, and warned everybody on their peril not to remove a +thing from the house. + +Mr. Whedell reclined in his chair, positively enjoying the spectacle, +which was all the more entertaining because the common wrath was now +diverted from him. Mrs. Chiffield wept behind her handkerchief. Her +bonnet was knocked on one side, and the flowers were seriously +disarranged, indicating a real case of distress. + +_Sauve qui peut_ was now the motto among all the small creditors. +Notwithstanding the energetic objections of Quigg and others, they +rushed down stairs into the parlors, where the best furniture was kept, +and commenced, taking possession. Rickarts, the shoemaker, seated +himself on the top of the piano, and said he considered that his'n. But +a second after, a man milliner, who had furnished two new bonnets to +Miss Clementina on the strength of the brownstone front, took his seat +on the other end of the piano, and gave Mr. Rickarts distinctly to +understand that he was glued to it. The man milliner was a powerful +fellow, and looked as if his proper vocation were hammering stone or +rolling iron, instead of handling flowers and feathers. Rickarts +murmured something inaudibly, at first but, on taking a second survey of +his neighbor, concluded that he would be more desirable as an ally than +as an enemy. + +"All right," said he; "s'pose we go snacks on this?" + +"Agreed," said the man milliner. + +Other of the minor creditors, not caring to quarrel for a third or +fourth interest in the piano, attached themselves to movable pieces of +furniture, such as ottomans, whatnots, etageres, and chairs. One +succeeded in unscrewing a large chandelier which hung from the centre of +the front parlor, and the gas came pouring through the opening in +odorous volumes, while the spoliator waddled off to the door with his +prize. Others rummaged the small stock of showy books which consituted +the library, and were surprised to find that the most imposing volumes +were bound in wood, with gilt backs, and contained nothing but air, +which a funny creditor characterized as very light reading matter. + +In about five minutes, a considerable amount of portable property would +have gone out of the house, but for Quigg's presence of mind. Seeing +that decisive action was required, he slipped out of the front door, +locked it, and returned in a moment with a couple of policemen, who +chanced to be strolling through the street at that hour. + +On the way to the house, Mr. Quigg succeeded in persuading the policemen +that it was necessary for the peace of society that they should turn all +the other creditors out of the house, and leave Mr. Whedell's effects to +be divided among them according to the regular legal process. As the +officers marched up the steps of the house, it fell out that Matthew +Maltboy came sauntering by. Observing the two officers, headed by an +excited individual, going into Mr. Whedell's house, it occurred, to his +benevolent heart that that gentleman must be in trouble. He also felt +moved by a desire to hear of his old flame--for such she now seemed at +the remote distance of six weeks,--of whose marriage with Mr. Chiffield +he had read in the papers with the utmost complacency. Therefore, +Maltboy stepped up behind the officers, and was about to follow them +into the house. The officers would have kept him back; but Quigg +recognized his friend of New Year's day, and asked him in, hoping to get +legal advice for nothing. + +"An old friend of mine, and of Mr. Whedell's," said Quigg. "Admit him, +officers. Perhaps, sir" (Quigg had forgotten his name), "you know +something about Whedell's affairs, and, as a lawyer" (with a wink), "can +tell me where he has some property snugly stowed away, that I can pounce +on. If so, I would cheerfully let the smaller creditors divide the +furniture among themselves. Any information--ahem!--will be +confidential, you know." + +"I am not a shyster!" said the indignant Matthew, alluding, by that +term, to the outlaws of his profession. + +Quigg was evidently surprised at this unfriendly repulse. "I only made +the suggestion for you to think on. No offence meant. Please walk +in, sir." + +The door being opened, several of the small creditors were discovered, +grouped together, with property in their hands. They had made several +ineffectual attempts to break the lock, or pry back the bolt. The larger +creditors were forcibly remonstrating against this disposition of Mr. +Whedell's effects; and a serious row would probably have ensued, but for +the timely arrival of the police. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +DEUS EX MACHINA. + +One of the officers planted himself against the front door, and gave +general notice that no one would be allowed to remove any of the +furniture. The other officer stationed himself at the back door, to +carry out a similar policy at that point. + +These manoeuvres caused consternation among the small creditors, and a +vivid feeling of approval among the larger ones. + +"I am happy to announce," said Quigg, "that the counsel of Mr. +Whedell--one of the most distinguished ornaments of the bar--has now +arrived, and will take charge of his client's affairs. To those who know +the name of--" (Aside) "By the way, your name escapes me at +this moment." + +"Maltboy," said Matthew, a little flattered with this compliment. + +"I repeat, that, to those who know the name of Maltboy, no assurance +need be given that Mr. Whedell's affairs will be honorably adjusted." +Quigg again winked at the young lawyer. + +Matthew, having recovered from the flutter into which he was thrown, was +about to disclaim the office thus thrust upon him, when the voice of Mr. +Whedell was heard from the first landing. He had come to listen to the +disturbance, and smile at it. + +"It is my dear Maltboy!" he exclaimed, catching at the straw of a hope. +"Thank Heaven! he is here. Yes, gentlemen, he is my lawyer, and I refer +you to him for the adjustment of all your claims. Come up, my +dear Maltboy." + +"Oh! it is dear--good--Mr. Maltboy!" added a voice, qualified by sobs. +"How kind of him--to--to come here at this time! Oh--ho!" + +Maltboy never could resist Beauty in any condition; and, for Beauty in +tears, he would cheerfully lay down his life. He did not deny that he +was the counsel and confidential adviser of Mr. Whedell, but rushed up +stairs, just in time to receive the falling form of Mrs. Chiffield +in his arms. + +Matthew felt that he had no moral right to clasp that burden of +loveliness; but he took it tenderly in his arms, and followed Mr. +Whedell into the room which father and daughter had just left. There he +deposited it, with the gentleness of a professional nurse, on the sofa, +when it opened its eyes, and faintly said, "Heaven bless you, our +benefactor!" + +The creditors were pouring into the apartment. "In the name of +humanity," said Mr. Whedell, "leave us for a few moments. I appeal to +you as gentlemen and Christians." + +The appeal produced no effect; those to whom it was made conceiving, +perhaps, that it did not apply to them. Maltboy added the remark: "If +you will withdraw at once, I promise you that in fifteen minutes we will +proceed to business." + +"That's all right," said Quigg, winking again at Matthew. "Let us go, +friends." + +The proposition was accepted, as the best thing that could be done under +the circumstances, and all the creditors retired. + +Mr. Whedell then locked the door, and proceeded to inform Mr. Maltboy of +the black-hearted treachery of which he and his daughter had been the +victims, in the Chiffield alliance. Clementina corroborated the paternal +statement with numerous particulars, delivered in a heart-broken voice, +showing what an abandoned wretch her husband was. Matthew listened, +nodded his head, and said, "The brute!" and the "The monster!" at +intervals, looking the while into the deep blue eyes of Mrs. Chiffield, +which sparkled with tears. "If he had but been the lucky man!" he +thought. But it suddenly occurred to Matthew that these thoughts were a +little irregular; and, besides, he had a fresh recollection of the +troubles from which Fayette Overtop had not yet emerged. He therefore +pulled out his watch, and informed Mr. Whedell that thirteen of the +fifteen minutes were consumed. The creditors were beginning to pace +heavily in the entry. + +Mr. Whedell, taking the hint, came down to business. His affairs were of +a kind that were easily settled. He owned nothing except his personal +clothing, and a few small articles of furniture. Everything else had +been obtained on credit, and either not paid for, or only partly paid +for. This statement of affairs occupied one minute. + +A minute remained, which Mr. Whedell put to good use. He looked +appealingly at Maltboy. So did Mrs. Chiffield. + +"My dear friend," said Mr. Whedell, "I find myself, at an advanced +period of life, in this cold world, deserted, penniless. You are the +only person living that I can call by the sacred name of friend. I have +already experienced your noble bounty in a loan of two hundred +dollars." (Tramps of creditors becoming louder outside.) "In a word, +sir, can you lend me one hundred dollars more? It will at least save me +from the self-destruction which I had contemplated." + +At the word "self-destruction," Mrs. Chiffield cried aloud, and threw +herself on her parent's breast, with a fresh flood of tears. + +These tears swept away the last trace of Matthew's prudence. He whipped +out his pocket book, and delivered over five twenty-dollar gold pieces +to Mr. Whedell. The sight of those beautiful coins seemed to reconcile +the wretched man to life. + +Mr. Whedell was about to thank his preserver most profusely, and Mrs. +Chiffield to burst into a new torrent, when Matthew, to avoid these +demonstrations, rose, opened the door, and let in the pack of hungry +creditors. + +Now Matthew had, in these fleeting fifteen minutes, thought up no plan +of settlement. Being taken aback by the sudden reappearance of the +creditors, he did not know what to propose. + +"Everything fixed, I s'pose?" said Rickarts, the shoemaker. + +When Matthew was in strong doubt what to do in any case, it was his +invariable custom to postpone. "I think," he feebly suggested, "that we +had better postpone final action, say till three P.M. It would give +us time--" + +"Can't come it!" "No go!" "Now, or never!" were some of the exclamations +which went up from the excited crowd. + +Matthew was too good natured to quarrel with these insinuations. "My +friends," said he, "as you appear to have unlimited confidence in each +other, suppose you appoint a committee to dispose of this property, +which my client generously" (cries of "Oh! oh!") "turns over to you, and +divide the proceeds among yourselves _pro rata_" + +The creditors looked at each other suspiciously. A want of that +childlike trust which, in a perfect state of society should exist +between man and man, was unhappily too apparent. + +Just then, when Matthew was at his wits' end, the police man who guarded +the front door entered the room, and delivered a note to Mr. Whedell. +That gentleman perused it languidly, and passed it to Matthew. + +"Good news," said he. "Mr. Abernuckle, the owner of these premises, who +was intending to move in to-day, writes that he will not be able to take +possession until noon to-morrow. Therefore, I say, let the creditors +employ an auctioneer, hang out the red flag, sell, and divide, before +that period arrives." + +The large creditors were silent--Quigg veiling his dissatisfaction under +a look of complete misanthropy--but the small ones, headed by Rickarts, +the shoemaker, highly commended it. + +"Besides," added a butter man, who had originally been in the +mock-auction line, "don't ye see, we can all stay at the auction, and +kind o' bid on the things. Hey?" The butter man nodded at the lesser +creditors. + +The idea took; only a few of the larger creditors holding out against +it. + +"My friends," again observed Matthew, drawing on his stores of legal +knowledge, "you seem to forget that, if my client chose to resist your +claims, he could retain a large amount of furniture as household +articles under the law, which exempts certain necessary things. But, +with rare magnanimity, he gives up all." + +The allusion to magnanimity produced some derisive laughs, which +slightly nettled Matthew. + +"Auction it off," said he, "or we throw ourselves back on our reserved +rights." + +At this hint, everybody gave in; and a committee, consisting of Quigg, +Rickarts, and the butter man, was appointed to make all the arrangements +for an immediate sale. + +It is not pleasant to pursue this painful theme--the decline and fall +of the Whedell household--farther. Let the historian barely record, that +the sale attracted a large crowd, and that, by the ingenious side bids +of the creditors, the furniture was run up to twice its original value +(no uncommon thing at auctions); that the creditors, large and small, +were well satisfied with the results; that Mr. Whedell and daughter +moved to Boston, and became stipendiaries upon a younger brother, who +had made a fortune in the upholstery business, and whom Mr. Whedell had +always despised; that Mr. Chiffield took to drink tenaciously in +consequence of his misfortunes, and never saw or sought after his wife +from the day when he discovered that she was dowerless; that Mrs. +Chiffield obtained a divorce from the bonds of matrimony, but had not +married again at last accounts; and that Matthew Maltboy, Esq., on +looking over the whole episode of his acquaintance with the Whedells +thanked his stars that he had got out of their entanglements on the +reasonable terms of three hundred dollars. + + + +BOOK ELEVENTH. + +DISCOVERIES. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE OLD HOUSE REVISITED. + +In the month that followed the acquittal of Marcus Wilkeson, three real +murders, a railway collision killing thirty persons, and a steamboat +explosion almost as tragical in its results, occurred. The Minford +affair was already getting old. Public curiosity, except in the +immediate neighborhood of the house, no longer exercised itself upon the +problem which all of Coroner Bullfast's powers of analysis had failed +to solve. + +Marcus Wilkeson might have derived a selfish consolation from the fact +that other mysteries and calamities were causing his name, which last +month was on the tongue of the whole town, to be forgotten. But he had a +nobler and truer source of consolation in his dear books. In the +presence of the philosophers, and sages, and historians, and novelists, +and poets, and wits, the men of genius of the past, chroniclers of the +loss of empires, grave men who taught the vanity of life, and funny men +who taught the same lesson in a different way, Marcus felt his pack of +sorrows considerably lightening. His first, last, only disappointment in +love had subsided into a gentle and not disagreeable melancholy. His +trial, and the dreadful notoriety which his name had acquired, had +imparted to his mild nature a gentle tinge of cynicism, which +improved him. + +Marcus was sitting, one morning, in the little back parlor, idly +turning over the leaves of an old folio, and looking with a half eye +through the closed window at the houses opposite, and thinking what a +deal of trouble it was possible to extract from a single block of +buildings, when a slight rap was heard at the door. Simultaneously, the +door was pushed open, and Wesley Tiffles shot in. + +He had brought all his tonical properties with him. Good nature and +cheerfulness effervesced from his face. Through the trial, and since the +acquittal, Wesley Tiffles had stuck to Marcus. Twice, often three times +a day, he called, and was always welcomed by Marcus, and not +inhospitably received by Miss Philomela Wilkeson. The interviews between +that lady and the romantic speculator usually took place, quite by +accident, in the entry, on the arrival or the departure of Mr. Tiffles; +but, as it happened, not with the cognizance of Marcus. + +On one occasion--at the edge of evening--Marcus went into the entry a +few minutes after Tiffles had left the room, and saw that gentleman and +Philomela standing in the doorway. Tiffles appeared to be in the act of +raising the lady's hand to kiss it; but, if that were his intention, he +abandoned it on seeing Marcus, and shook the attenuated fingers instead. +Then he coughed, and, saying "Good-night," went down the steps, as if he +had not seen Marcus in the gloom. Miss Wilkeson coughed also (why do +people always cough?), and, turning to her approaching brother, said it +was a cool night, which was not true, as the night was agreeably warm. +Marcus had never afterward seen them together, and had forgotten this +slightly mysterious circumstance. Wesley Tiffles had, as usual, +something enlivening to tell. + +"Got the funniest piece of news for you, my dear fellow!" said he. + +"Anything funny is always welcome, Tiffles," said he, closing his folio, +that he might not appear to obstruct his friend's jocosity. + +"I've heard from that infernal old panorama--when I say infernal, of +course I don't mean to imply that it wasn't a splendid idea, if I had +had capital enough to see it through--and what do you s'pose the +landlord and the other creditor have done with it? You couldn't guess +in a month." + +"Well, what?" asked Marcus Wilkeson, laughing in anticipation. + +"Ha! ha! cut it up, and sold it for window curtains. A friend of mine, +who passed through there the other day, says there's a picture of a +lion, or a palm tree, or a slice of a desert--principally desert--hung +up in every other window. And the best of it is, that they made a good +thing of it. The curtains brought at least twice what I owed them. Great +heavens! why didn't I think of it myself?" + +"Of what?" + +"Why, to cut up the panorama into window curtains, when Patching had +finished it, and--ha! ha!--peddle them through the country. By Jupiter! +that speculation may be worth trying yet. But at present I have my new +patent process for----" + +Marcus coughed, and opened the book. Tiffles accepted the delicate hint +in a spirit of true friendship, and let his new patent process drop. + +"Marcus," said he, "I don't wish to revive an unpleasant subject; but +have you no idea what the late Mr. Minford was trying to invent?" + +"Not the least. I never trouble myself about inventions, as you well +know, who are full of them. Besides, poor Mr. Minford was not +communicative on that subject. He kept the secret even from his +daughter." + +"You have a claim on the apparatus, whatever it is." + +"Yes. Mr. Minford insisted on giving me a paper to that effect, as +security for two loans of five hundred dollars each. I took it to please +the old gentleman." Marcus felt like groaning, as he thought of the +sorrows that he had derived from his connection with the Minford family; +but he had just been reading of the consolations of philosophy, and he +stifled the rising weakness. + +"I have thought, Marcus, that there might be something about that +unfinished machine that could be patented for the benefit of Miss +Minford. You know I am a good judge of patentable things." + +"What do you propose, then?" asked Marcus, concealing, with an effort, +the emotions which the mention of Miss Minford always caused." + +"That we go to the house together. The legal claim which you hold upon +the machine entitles you to see it, if only to ascertain that it has not +been stolen." + +"The visit you propose is a disagreeable one; but if you think there is +a possibility of benefiting Miss Minford, I will go. Not that she is +likely to be in want, however, at present, for I understand that a +wealthy lady, Mrs. Crull, who befriended her at the inquest, you +remember, has taken her to her own house." + +Without further words--for Marcus retained his old business habit of +forming his conclusions suddenly, and adhering to them--the friends +proceeded to the late residence of Mr. Minford. + +Marcus had not yet philosophically conquered his dread of recognition in +the street as the man who had been suspected of a murder. He buttoned +his overcoat up to his chin, pulled his hat over his brow, and walked +fast. As he had purposely altered his style of dress since the inquest, +he was not readily identified. But he was sympathetically conscious that +several persons whom he passed, and who glanced at him, knew him, and +that he was pointed out to others when his back was turned. + +Reaching the house, they hurried up stairs, hoping to run the gauntlet +of the three floors in safety. Luckily, there had been a general move +from the premises--the lodgings being less desirable since the supposed +murder. The faces which thrust themselves out of the doorways as the two +visitors passed, were strange ones. + +Marcus felt his heart palpitating, and his face growing pale, as they +ascended the last flight of stairs, at the head of which were the room +and the mystery. The lodgings had not been taken. The rent had been paid +by Mr. Minford up to the 1st of May; and no person had been sufficiently +charmed with the apartments to hire them since that date. + +Upon the door was a placard, announcing that the key could be obtained +by application to the floor below. Tiffles went for it, and returned +accompanied by an old woman, who looked as if she knew a great deal +which she did not care to tell. She had been requested by the landlord +to show the apartments to applicants, but not to whisper a word about +the murder; and she was almost bursting with her great secret. While the +old woman was wondering how much longer she would be able to hold in, +Marcus and Tiffles entered the front room, and quietly closed the door +in her face. The old woman grumbled at this discourtesy but, as she had +a superstitious objection to putting her foot in a room where a murder +had been committed, she leaned against the banisters of the stairs, and +waited for the visitors' reappearance. + +The room looked just as it did on the day of the inquest. The faded and +worn furniture was all there; the yellow curtains still covered the +windows; the clock still hung against the wall, tickless. Marcus's eyes +glanced restlessly about the room for a moment, not daring to look at +the spot where the old man had received his death blow. But an +inevitable magnetism soon brought his eyes to it, and his heart was +lightened as he saw that the blood stains had been carefully wiped out. + +The door of the adjoining room--the maiden's bedchamber--was ajar. +Marcus pushed it open with that slow motion which is a token of delicacy +and respect. The general appearance of the room was unchanged, as well +as Marcus could recollect from the occasional glimpses of it which he +had formerly stolen. The little row of dresses which hung on pegs in a +corner, and a few simple ornaments, might have been removed, but nothing +more. Marcus felt that he was intruding here, and he closed the door. + +In the mean time, Wesley Tiffles had been examining the mysterious +machine, which stood undisturbed in its corner, with the protecting +screen still standing before it. Tiffles had first wiped off the dust, +and then looked into it, and through it, and over it, and under it, with +an eye that was predetermined to pry out a secret. Then he felt of every +wheel, lever, cam, ratchet, drum, and other portion within reach of his +fingers. Everything was immovable. Then he stood aloof from the machine, +folded his arms, pursed up his lips, and cocked an eye at it, as if, by +the mere force of intellect, he would compel the dumb thing to give up +its mystery. + +As Tiffles was applying this species of exorcism in vain, Marcus came to +his assistance. + +"What on earth can it be?" exclaimed Tiffles. "Not a new kind of steam +engine; or an electrical apparatus; or a clock; or a sewing machine; or +anything for spinning, carding, or weaving--nothing that is adapted to +any useful labor. These heavy weights, that have fallen on the floor, +would give the works a kind of jerky motion for a few seconds, while the +weights were descending. Nothing more. But the ultimate purpose of the +machine is a puzzler." + +"Mr. Minford always said that it was something that would revolutionize +the world of industry--that it was a new mechanical principle of +universal application." + +Tiffles laughed a little. "Excuse my levity," said he, "but +inventors--and I am one of them, you know--always claim that they are +about to revolutionize the world of industry. I never knew one of them +to claim less than that for a patent flytrap or an improved sausage +stuffer. Mr. Minford was a man of genius, I dare say, but he probably +overestimated the importance of his invention. Have you any objection to +my prying the thing apart at this opening? I want to inspect some of the +works that are partly concealed. I pledge myself to put it together +again as good as new." + + + +CHAPTER II. + +A POSTHUMOUS SECRET. + +"Go ahead," said Marcus; and Tiffles, inserting his walking stick in a +wide gap between two cog wheels, forced the strange machine apart. A +large brass drum upon which a small chain was loosely coiled, fell to +the floor. The other portions were not disturbed. Marcus picked up the +drum; and Tiffles cast his unerring eye in among the new jumble of +wheels and connecting levers that was brought to view. + +"Can't make head or tail of it," said he, at length. "Let me see that +drum." + +Marcus handed it to him. Tiffles took it, like an expert, between a +thumb and finger, and tapped it with his stick. It answered back with a +muffled clink. + +"It is hollow, and contains some soft non-metallic substance. Ah! here +we have it." And Tiffles, unscrewing a nicely fitting cap from the drum, +drew out a close roll of paper. He unfolded it with trembling fingers. + +The upper portion of the paper was covered with neatly drawn diagrams, +which bore some semblance to the machine. Beneath, in the fine +copperplate hand of the inventor, were these memorable words: + +"_Eliphalet Minford's original plan of_ PERPETUAL MOTION, _to which he +has devoted his fortune, and twenty years of labor. Perseverantia +vincit omnia_." + +"_Christmas Day_, 185-." + +Then followed a careful technical description of the plan, and a mention +of the fact that on two occasions the machine had moved. One occasion +was the night of April 10, 184-, when the mass of wheels started with a +sudden click, but stopped in three seconds by the clock. The other +occasion was daybreak, December 30, 185-, when the works began to move +of their own accord, and did not stop for six seconds. This record had +evidently been made by the inventor for his private reference, and +concealed in the brass drum for safe keeping. + +Tiffles read with bated breath; and Marcus listened in astonishment. + +"What do you think of it?" asked Marcus. + +"I think," replied Tiffles, "with every respect for the memory of the +inventor, that he was insane. Perpetual motion, without an exhaustive +power--or, in other words, the eternal motion of a thing by its own +inherent properties--is a simple impossibility. To cite familiar +illustrations of its absurdity, you might as well try to lift yourself +by the straps of your boots, or pour a quart into a pint pot. I wasted +six months on perpetual motion when I was a boy, and gave it up. Every +inventive genius bothers his head with this nonsensical problem, till he +learns that he is a fool. Of course, I say this with every possible +regard for your deceased friend. He was insane on this point--_quoad +hoc_, as the lawyers have it--without question, or he would not have +thrown away twenty years on it;--or twenty-three years, I should say, +since the paper is dated, you observe, three years ago." + +"But Mr. Minford says, in that document, that the machine moved twice. +He could have no object in deceiving himself." + +"You are wrong there, my friend. Inventors are continually deceiving +themselves. Their judgment, their very eyesight becomes worthless in +respect to subjects upon which they have labored long and hoped +ardently. This machine has evidently been greatly altered from the +original plan in the progress of its construction. You observe that +these weights do not appear on the diagrams. They were an +afterthought--recently put on, I should judge, from the appearance of +the cords which hold them. Anybody can see, as I said before, that the +weights would move the works spasmodically, so to speak. But this motion +cannot be what he alludes to as having taken place on two occasions. Of +course, I can't explain what caused the motion on those occasions--if it +were a real motion, and not a fantasy of the inventor's brain--but I'll +bet my life that any intelligent mechanic could have fully explained it +to Mr. Minford at the time. But, mark you, Mr. Minford would never have +accepted the explanation. Inventors never take advice." + +"So then you are satisfied that this machine is of no value--to Miss +Minford--except for old brass?" + +"Oh! I don't say that. Mr. Minford, aside from this absurd crotchet, may +have possessed real mechanical genius. Let me see if some part of it may +not be good for something besides perpetual motion." + +Wesley Tiffles peered down among the brazen and steel complexities +again. "Sure enough, here it is," said he; "a splendid window fastener." + +"I don't see any window fastener," exclaimed Marcus, looking in the +direction of his friend's forefinger. + +"There--that cam with a small spring and lever attached. Strength and +simplicity combined. I have studied the subject of window fasteners--in +fact, have invented three or four, which possessed the extraordinary +property of never letting the window up or down when you wanted to move +it. I recognize, in this window fastener, my ideal. Marcus, you must +patent it for Miss Minford. It will be a sure fortune to her. I'll make +the drawings and specifications." + +Marcus, sadly happy in the thought of rendering any service to that +young lady, readily chimed in with Tiffles's views, and said that the +patent should be obtained as soon as might be. + +It was then agreed that Tiffles should call on Mrs. Crull, on the +following day, and inform Miss Minford of the important discoveries +which had been made by him--not mentioning the name of Marcus +Wilkeson--and should also offer to remove and dispose of the neglected +furniture, as the young lady might think best. + +As this conclusion was arrived at, the door opened suddenly. The old +lady, being apprehensive, from the long stay of the two visitors, that +they were ransacking the rooms and hiding portable articles about their +persons, had overcome her superstitious antipathy, and opened the door +quickly, so that she might catch them in the act. But they were only +standing in the middle of the room, earnestly talking to each other. + +The old lady muttered an inaudible apology; and the two friends hastened +to take their departure. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +OVERTOP FINDS A SENSIBLE WOMAN. + +Next morning, Mr. Wesley Tiffles, after an inexpensive breakfast at a +cheap restaurant in Chatham street, set out on his mission of goodness. +He was reduced to his last dollar, but felt opulent in the possession of +his diamond breastpin--that tower of moral strength to the borrower. He +whistled as he walked, and thought what would be the best name for the +new patent window fastener of the future. "Union," "American," +"Columbian," "Peoples'," "Washington," "Ne Plus Ultra," and a score +more, were turned over and rejected. Finally he settled upon the +"Cosmopolitan Window Fastener," meaning that its destined field of +usefulness was the whole civilized globe. Patents for it could be and +should be obtained in England, France, Germany, Russia, and Spain. + +While Wesley Tiffles was taking this rosy view of the "Cosmopolitan +Window Fastener," he stumbled upon Fayette Overtop, Esq., who was +walking briskly toward his office, and thinking over a hard case in +which his services had been secured the day before. + +The firm of Overtop & Maltboy had recently come into a small but paying +business, in this way: The release of Marcus Wilkeson was generally +supposed to have been effected, not by his innocence, but by the skilful +and professional, but unprincipled efforts of his legal advisers. Their +name was not unfavorably known among the thieves and murderers of the +city; and several individuals belonging to those classes of society +resolved to employ them when they got into their next little difficulty. +And, since the inquest, another thing had greatly contributed to the +prosperity of the firm. We allude to the case of Slapman _vs_. Slapman. + +This was an action for divorce, with alimony, brought by Mrs. Grazella +Jigbee Slapman against her husband, Ferdinand P. Slapman. The ground +upon which the separation was sought, was the continual brutality of Mr. +Slapman toward his wife. + +It was the law and the custom, in cases where both parties to the action +were agreed to that arrangement, to turn over this species of litigation +to a referee, who took the testimony in private, heard arguments of +counsel, and rendered a decision subject to the confirmation of the +Supreme Court. The Court had issued a standing order prohibiting all +persons from publishing (except with the consent of the parties to the +action) any further reports of the cases than a simple announcement of +the decree, as confirmed by the Court, for or against a divorce. This +order was put forth to protect the public from the contaminating example +of matrimonial infelicities; though we are not aware that the number of +divorce cases has materially decreased, or the standard of public +morality been greatly elevated in consequence thereof. + +The case of Slapman _vs_. Slapman was on trial before a referee, by +mutual agreement of the parties. The newspapers did not report it; but +some of them kept hinting at it in an appetizing way. The gentleman +whose "gallantry, &c.," was the "remote cause of the action," was +described as "a rising young lawyer, who distinguished himself in a +recent inquest before Coroner ----, the thrilling particulars of which +are still fresh in the minds of our readers;" or as a "young ornament of +the legal profession, whose office was not a hundred miles from the +corner of Broadway and ---- street" (the precise location of his +office). One paper went so far as to say, that the "triumph which this +disciple of Coke had achieved in the late _cause celebre_, was only to +be equalled by his invariable success in affairs of the heart, &c., &c." + +All this caused Fayette Overtop's name to be known by thousands of +people. Persons who were seeking divorces, reasoned, strangely enough, +that a man whose "gallantry, &c.," was the cause of a divorce, could +materially assist them in severing the matrimonial bonds. Therefore they +began to flock to him. He already had five female and two male clients +of this description. + +When Tiffles stumbled against Fayette Overtop, he at once invited his +friend to go with him to Mrs. Crull's. His legal knowledge (of which +Tiffles, in common with the public, was beginning to have a high +opinion) might be of some service. Overtop had been told by Marcus +Wilkeson of the previous day's transactions, and of Wesley Tiffles's +intended visit to Miss Minford; and he at once consented to +accompany him. + +On their way to Mrs. Crull's--whose residence had been ascertained from +the Directory--they passed Miss Pillbody's select school. Tiffles +suggested that it would be well to call on that young lady, and pick up +some intelligence of Miss Minford. She might still be receiving lessons +from Miss Pillbody; and might, possibly, be in the house at that moment. +Overtop also thought it would not be a bad idea to call there. He had +heard much from Marcus Wilkeson in praise of Miss Pillbody, especially +of her sensible qualities. Being still in the active pursuit of a +sensible woman, he was moved with a real curiosity to see her. + +The servant showed the two callers to the speckless little front parlor; +and, a minute afterward, Miss Pillbody, looking fresh and neat, her +narrow collar white and smooth, and every hair of her heavy brown +tresses in its place, made her appearance. + +Miss Pillbody entered the room in that noiseless, sliding way, which +indicates a constitutional diffidence. Her eyelids involuntarily +contracted, so that she might see her callers on a near approach to +them. Fayette Overtop, marking her modest demeanor and her +short-sightedness, immediately announced his name and that of his +companion, and the object of their visit. + +At the mention of his name, Miss Pillbody started. She had heard of +Fayette Overtop, Esq., through the newspapers, as counsel for Marcus +Wilkeson; but not as the philosophic friend of Mrs. Slapman. In reply to +questions about Miss Minford, she stated that that interesting young +pupil had not taken lessons from her since the death of her father. + +Miss Pillbody here indulged in a little artifice. She produced a +memorandum book, to see when Miss Minford took her last lesson; and, in +order that she might read distinctly, drew out her eyeglasses, and +adjusted them with a graceful movement of the arm and hand. Overtop +thought that she handled the eyeglasses in a most ladylike manner; and +that, when they were astride of her shapely nose, they became her face +wonderfully. + +When Miss Pillbody had referred to the little memorandum book, she gave +one short look at Fayette Overtop. That gentleman, conscious that his +face was scrutinized, looked at the wall. Miss Pillbody stole but one +glance, and then shut the eyeglasses prettily, and stuck them into an +invisible pocket of her waist. She had come to the conclusion that Mr. +Overtop was a person of dignified and intelligent appearance. And Mr. +Overtop had settled into the opinion that Miss Pillbody was a near +approach to that imagined paragon--a sensible woman. + +Mr. Overtop was about to make a shrewd remark upon the great superiority +of private select schools over all public institutions for the education +of young ladies, when Miss Pillbody rose. + +"Do you desire any other information, gentlemen?" said she. + +"No, I thank you, Miss Pillbody," returned Overtop, who interpreted her +question to mean that a pupil was waiting for her somewhere--which was +true; for Mrs. Gipscon, a fat lady of forty-eight, was taking her +second grammar lesson in the back parlor. + +The two callers seized their hats. + +"Could I intrust you with a message for Miss Minford, Mr. Overtop?" + +"With a thousand," said that gallant man. + +"Please, then, give my love to her, and ask her to come round and see +me." + +Mr. Overtop would have said that he always found it difficult to carry a +lady's love to another without keeping some himself; but then he thought +that this might be a little bold for a stray caller. So he answered, +"With pleasure." + +The two visitors bowed, and Miss Pillbody bent her head gracefully +toward Mr. Overtop. + +"What do you think of the schoolmarm?" asked Tiffles, when they had got +into the street. + +Overtop did not like the phrase "schoolmarm." "I think Miss Pillbody," +said he, "is--a sensible woman." + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +INNOCENCE ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. + +Walking with the nervous and unreasonable quickness of city men, they +soon arrived at Mrs. Grail's. The good lady was sitting at one of her +front windows, sewing. As she looked into the street, her face was seen +to have a sad and thoughtful expression. She came to the door in +response to a sharp ring by Wesley Tiffles, who was tentative of +bellpulls. Mrs. Crull kept two servants, but she could never get over +the impulse to answer the door, when she was near it. + +Overtop explained that they were desirous of seeing Miss Minford on +important business. + +"The poor, dear child!" exclaimed Mrs. Crull, in a broken voice. "She is +not here." + +"Not here!" cried Overtop. "Where is she, then?" + +"I don't know, sir; and that's what troubles me so." Here the good Mrs. +Crull began to twitch about the mouth. But she did not cry. She had too +much of the masculine element for that. Her whole life was a struggle +between the weakness of her feminine body and the strong self-control of +her manly soul, in which the latter, after an effort, always came +out victor. + +Mrs. Crull then proceeded to explain, a little incoherently, that she +had taken Miss Minford to her house, the day after the murder, and had +asked the poor child to live with her, to be her adopted daughter. Miss +Minford had gladly accepted the offer, and had stayed there until +yesterday. During the last two or three days, she had noticed that Miss +Minford, or Pet, as she always called her, was worried about something. +She would not tell Mrs. Crull what was the matter, but Mrs. Crull +somehow guessed that it was a love affair. She remembered the handsome, +dissipated young man at the inquest, and she had seen him standing at +the corner below her house, only two days before Miss Minford left. + +"Left!" exclaimed Overtop, jumping at a conclusion. "Then that villain +has abducted and ruined her." + +"It's bad enough, I fear," continued Mrs. Crull; "but perhaps not so bad +as that 'ere. Anyhow, I hopes not. I spoke to Pet about that young man, +and she looked as innocent as a spring lamb at me, though she kind o' +blushed when she denied having met him since the trial. And, to do her +justice, I don't think she had met him then, though I sort o' suspeck +she seen him from the window two or three times--she had a habit of +looking out o' the window--and that he contrived to have a talk with her +somewhere and somehow, the day before she went away. And I think he must +have had the cheek to come into this very room" (Mrs. Crull had shown +her visitors into her front parlor), "because one o' my servants says +that she heerd a strange voice in the entry, and the door shut as if +somebody had gone out. When she come into the entry to see who it was, +she saw Pet hurrying into the parlor, and heerd her humming a tune. Pet +wasn't in the habit of humming tunes; and, the servant thought that +rather 'spicious. So do I--not of any wrong, mind you. I wouldn't +believe that till it was proved. But, to make a long story short, here +is the note that poor Pet left on my dressin' table. Read it. I--I +haven't got my spectacles." + +The truth was, that Mrs. Crull's eyes were filling with tears, and she +could not have read the now familiar lines on that little piece of paper +even with the powerful aid of her spectacles. + + Monday Evening. + + DEAR MRS. CRULL: + + Please pardon me for what I have done. I knew you would not + consent to it, and so I did not tell you. I was afraid I + should become a burden to you; though you are too + good-hearted to say so. I have a nice place, and am earning + my own living honestly. Do not try to find me, but believe I + will always be good, and worthy of your love, and, some day, + will repay you for all your kindness. + + With love and respect, + + PATTY MINFORD. + +"A very strange note!" murmured Overtop. "Young girls are not apt to +complain of being burdens, or to take such misanthropic views of life. +There is a man's hand in this. That wretch, Van Quintem, jr., without a +doubt. Did you never warn Miss Minford against him?" + +"Once," said Mrs. Crull, with a faint choke in her voice. "I had noticed +his glances toward her at the inquest, and I told her he was a bad young +man, and she must not allow him to speak to her in the street, and that, +if he should come to my house to see her, I should shut the door in +his face." + +"And what did she say to that?" + +"She said all she knew about him was, that he had saved her life once. +She couldn't forget that. Then I showed her how improper it was in him +to hide his own name from her, and what horrid holes these gambling +dens was which he goes to. I also p'inted out how unfeelin' his conduct +was to his poor old father." + +"And what did she say to all that?" + +"She nodded her head, and said, 'Yes, so it was;' but I see, now, that +all my talk didn't make no impression on her." + +"The sum of it is," said Overtop, "that she loves this worthless +vagabond, and knew that you would not permit his visits to your house. +Therefore she has left you." + +Mrs. Crull was a woman of firmness as well as affection. She regretted +that her opposition to this young man should have been the means of +driving Pet away. But she knew that she had done what any prudent mother +would have done for her own child. + +"I'm sorry it has come to this," said she; "but I did it all for the +best, Heaven knows. Gen'lemen, we must find this child. But how?" + +Tiffles, being a man of infinite expedients, and accustomed to solve +problems for himself, and everybody else, at the shortest notice, +answered at once: + +"_Not_ by advertising for her, or putting the police on her track. Young +Van Quintem would take the alarm, and move her out of town. She will go +anywhere with him, if I mistake not, until she finds him out better. +Have you no clue to her whereabouts; or can you think of any one that +could give us any information?" + +Mrs. Crull reflected. "Unless I am much mistaken," said she, "I saw that +tall, clean-looking boy, Bog, I believe they call him--you remember him +at the inquest--walking on t'other side o' the street, two or three +times since Pet come to live with me. He looked sideways and kind o' +sheepish at the house as he passed. I've a notion that he was a lover of +Pet's, too." + +"He's the man, or boy, for us!" cried Tiffles. "Is in the bill-posting +business, and knows the town better than I do, if anything. A shrewd +fellow, judging from his looks; and, if he's in love with Miss Minford, +then he's sure never to tire of hunting her up. He must disguise +himself, and find young Van Quintem, and follow him day and night, till +he brings up at Miss Minford. That's the shortest road. When Miss +Minford has been found, then we will consider what is to be done next." + +Mrs. Crull and Overtop at once approved of this plan, and no time was +lost in putting it into execution. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +BOG'S OPEN SESAME. + +Bog was easily found, and gladly consented to do the work allotted to +him. It was agreed that he should conduct the search alone, and in his +own way; but that, after he had succeeded in tracing Miss Minford to her +place of concealment, he should send word, without delay, to Mrs. Crull, +and also to old Van Quintem, whose advice upon the subject had been +obtained. It was thought that the reasoning and entreaties of the two +together would win back the poor girl from the path of danger which she +was unconsciously treading. + +Bog disguised himself by putting on his old, discarded working clothes; +and, as he looked at his reflection in the glass, thought how much truth +there was in the maxim, that "fine feathers make fine birds." + +"Go, my good boy," old Van Quintem had said to him, in faltering +accents; "go among the gambling houses, and other dens of infamy, and +you will surely hear of my son." + +Acting on this advice--which confirmed his own opinion--Bog proceeded to +visit the gambling houses on Broadway. Child of the city as he was, he +knew the locations of them all. His constant travels about town, day and +night, had made him a master of all this knowledge, and much more of the +sort, which is only useful when, as in the case of this poor orphan +boy, it serves to show where evil must be avoided, not sought. Thus the +pilot, taking his vessel through Hellgate, profits by his knowledge of +the rocks and the shallows, to steer clear of all dangers, and come +safely into port. + +Bog, before leaving his shop, had been provided with this decoy note, +written by the ingenious Wesley Tiffles in cunning imitation of Miss +Minford's handwriting. The long, elegant curves, and all the delicate +peculiarities of her chirography, taught by Miss Pillbody, had been +copied from the sample furnished by her note to Mrs. Crull. It ran +as follows: + + MR. VAN QUINTEM: + + DEAR SIR: Come to me at once, for I am in trouble. + + PET. + +The plan (Bog's contrivance all this) was to inquire at the gambling +houses where Mr. Van Quintem, jr., was most likely to be, and, when he +was found, to send this note in to him by a servant. Bog, having +delivered the note, was to withdraw to the sidewalk, lie in ambush, till +young Van Quintem came out, and then follow him to Miss Minford's +retreat. There he was to wait, and send a swift messenger to Mrs. Crull +and old Van Quintem. It was not known that young Van Quintem had ever +seen Miss Minford's handwriting; but, to make the game sure, the note +had been written with a skill worthy of a counterfeiter, or that most +dexterous of penmen, young Van Quintem himself. + +Bog commenced operations about three o'clock in the afternoon--the hour +when the gambler and debauchee, who have been up all the previous night, +are ready to begin their feverish life again. + +He first visited a snug establishment near the lower end of Broadway. It +was situated in the second story, over a nominal exchange office, and +was the favorite resort of down-town brokers, who, having gambled on +Wall street till the close of business hours, dropped in to flirt with +Fortune an hour or two before going home to dinner. Sometimes their +hour or two was protracted to six o'clock next morning, when they +staggered home to breakfast and a curtain lecture together. This Temple +of Faro was never impertinently molested by the police; and it was a +subject of remark, among people who thought they had been robbed there, +that there was never a policeman within sight of the door. + +In the hallway of the second story occupied by this gambling saloon, +were a number of doors, which the experienced eye of the boy at once +decided to be blinds, or, in other words, no doors at all, but only +imitations. The appearance of the second story was that of a suite of +unoccupied offices. Whoever rapped at these blind doors, could obtain no +admission. + +At the end of the hallway, Bog came upon a long window, which was +painted white on the inside. He saw, by a glance at the grooves of the +lower sash, that it was often raised. There was a boot-worn hollow on +the floor beneath the window. The unusual length of the lower sash, and +the nearness of the sill to the floor, would permit persons to step into +the room easily when the window was raised. + +Bog rapped thrice at this window. He had a vague idea--derived from +reading, perhaps--that three raps were an open sesame to mysterious +rooms the world over. The last rap had not ceased to vibrate on the pane +of glass, when the window was suddenly shoved up, as if by somebody +waiting on the other side. + +A negro of intense blackness stood revealed. He took a hasty inventory +of Bog's old clothes, and then said, "Clare out, now!" He commenced to +close the window. + +"I was told to give you a half dollar," said Bog, bethinking himself of +a powerful expedient, "if you would find out whether Mr. Van Quintem was +here, and hand him a letter." + +The negro's eyes dilated, and his thick lips wreathed into a grin. + +"Mr. Fan Squintem--a little feller with a big black mustache? I knows +him. Dunno wether he's in, 'L see fur ye." The negro paused. The +interrogatory, "Where's your half dollar?" could be plainly seen in his +great eyes. + +"Here it is," said Bog. + +The negro grinned his satisfaction, pocketed the coin, disappeared +through another door from which there exhaled an odor of cigars and mint +juleps, and returned, in a minute, with the intelligence, "He a'n't in, +Mister. P'a'ps you want to leave some word for him?" + +Bog had no time to lose. He said, "Nothing partickler," and hurried off, +leaving the negro to puzzle over his half dollar. + +At the next gambling saloon, near the junction of Broadway and Park Row, +Bog simplified his method of operations. Before making any inquiry of +the servant who answered his triple rap, he thrust a half dollar at him, +and then put his question. This plan saved surly looks and explanations. +Mr. Van Quintem was a well-known patron of the establishment, but had +not been there for a week: which was rather strange, the man +politely added. + +Bog continued his search, walking as fast as he could. In second +stories, in third stories, in fourth stories, in the rear of ground +floors, in one or two basements, among all the more fashionable gambling +dens, which, at that period, lay between Fulton and Tenth streets, he +picked his way. His new system had drawn heavily upon his stock of loose +silver, and he had but two half dollars left. The question now was, how +to spend them?--for Bog knew of no more resorts of gamblers on Broadway; +and there were none on any of the side streets which a man of young Van +Quintem's style would be likely to frequent. It was the edge of evening. + +The boy walked up and down between Tenth and Fourteenth streets, +thinking what it would be best to do next. He kept a sharp lookout at +the passers by, hoping to see the object of his search. He paused to +rest himself a few minutes in the doorway of a photographic gallery; +and, while there, observed two young men, with sickly complexions and +bloodshot eyes, coming up the street. He recognized them as young men +whom he had often seen issuing from gambling places in the small hours +of the morning. They were talking briskly, and Bog pricked up his ears. + +"The very d----l's in the cards lately," said the whitest-faced of the +two. + +"Luck must have a turn," said the other. "By ----" (with a horrid oath), +"suppose we try Van's?" + +"Van's? Where's that?" + +"Why, the concern just opened on the corner above. The biggest kind of +suppers there, they say." + +"All right," said the other, wearily. "We'll try Van's." + +Van is a common prefix of names in New York; but Bog needed no further +assurance that this Van belonged to Quintem. The opening of a new +gambling saloon under his name (with some wealthy backer furnishing the +capital, as is usually the case) would explain why young Van Quintem had +not been seen at any of his old haunts on Broadway for a fortnight past. + +Bog followed his guides at a short distance. After proceeding two +squares, they stopped in front of a stylish old mansion, and, after a +furtive look up and down and across the street, ascended the steps, and +opened the door. As they did so, Bog swiftly passed the house, and saw +that a muscular servant stood within the entry, for the obvious purpose +of preventing the intrusion of persons not wanted there. The large +diamond breastpins and depraved faces of the two young men were their +passports, and were _vised_ without hesitation by the diplomatic +attendant. + +Bog took a half dollar in his hand, advanced to the door, which was now +closed, and boldly opened it. + +The athletic guardian of the place, being confronted with this audacious +youth in old clothes, put on a commanding look, and said: + +"Well, sir, and what the d----l do you want here?" + +"Only to give you half a dollar, as I was told to," said Bog, "and to +ask if Mr. Van Quintem was in. Note from a lady, sir; that's all." +Bog winked. + +The servant smiled, and took the coin. + +"He's in," was the reply. + +"Then please hand this to him, and say as how it's 'mportant. No arnser +wanted." + +The servant received the note, and sententiously remarked, "Consider it +done;" whereon the boy Bog hurriedly retreated, and hid himself in a +doorway nearly opposite. He had hardly done this, before the door of the +house opened again, and disclosed the man whom he longed to see. The +letter was crumpled in his hand, and his pale face betrayed agitation. +He cast wary looks in all directions, and then descended to the +sidewalk, and walked fast down Broadway. Bog emerged from his seclusion, +and followed him at a distance, always keeping somebody between him and +the object of his pursuit. + +At the corner of Astor Place, young Van Quintem stopped; and Bog came to +a halt also, half a block behind. + +The next minute, the Eighth-street stage, going up, approached the +corner at a rapid rate, as if the driver were hurrying home to his +supper. There were but few persons in the stage. + +Young Van Quintem hailed the conveyance, jumped in before it could stop, +and the driver whipped up his horses to an increased speed. Bog was +tired, and he knew not how far he might have to follow the stage at a +full trot. He resolved upon his course instantly. Turning the corner of +Clinton Place, he ran up that side of the triangular block, and met the +stage. He pulled his old cap farther over his eyes, to prevent the +possibility of recognition by young Van Quintem, and, gliding swiftly +behind the stage, when he was sure that the driver was not looking, +hooked on to the step behind, just as he had done a thousand times when +he was a smaller boy. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +TRACKED. + +Young Van Quintem sat at the farther end of the stage, absorbed in his +own thoughts. His thin lips moved restlessly at times, as if he were +arguing to himself. In his hand he still held the crumpled note. Twice +he unfolded it, and read the contents carefully; then crushed it in his +hand again. Bog watched him through the window of the stage door--not +looking straight at him, but with that side vision with which we trace +the outline of faint comets. He was aware that young Van Quintem looked +at him twice suspiciously, and then settled back into his own +meditations. Bog felt safe in his disguise--or rather his original and +native dress. + +When the stage stopped to take in or let out passengers, Bog slipped +from his perch, and hid himself from the driver's sight. Long experience +had taught him how to render himself invisible to that vindictive +personage. + +The stage rolled on to the Greenpoint ferry, dropping all its passengers +by the way, excepting the pursued and the pursuer. It was now evident +that young Van Quintem was going to Greenpoint. + +The ferry boat was not in, and would not be in, and ready to leave +again, for ten minutes. Bog, having seen his game enter the ferry house, +thereby conclusively proving his intention to cross the river, slipped +into a boiler yard near the ferry. There, against a post, he scrawled +with a stump of pencil, on the back of two playbills (which he had +brought with him for stationery), two notes, as follows: + + Tuesday Evening, about 8 o'clock. + + Please come to the ferry house on the Greenpoint side, and + wait there till I send for you. BOG. + +These notes he addressed to Mr. Van Quintem, sen., and Mrs. Crull, at +their residences. The next step was to find a boy to deliver them. Bog +did not have to wait long for that. Boys of the ragged and city-wise +variety may be picked up at any corner of New York at any hour of the +day or night. + +Another Eighth-street stage, which came rattling toward the ferry, +brought a fine specimen of the juvenile vagrant and dare-devil, seated +on the step. Bog looked out of the boiler yard, and hailed him with a +shrill whistle, formed by thrusting two fingers in the mouth, and +blowing fiercely. The boy recognized the signal of his ragged tribe, +slid off the seat, and came running to where Bog was standing. As he +drew near, Bog recognized him as a trusty lad whom he had employed as +file leader in a walking advertisement procession, several weeks before. + +"Wot yer want, hey?" asked this youth. + +"Know me?" asked Bog. + +"Know ye? No. Yer a'n't one of our fellers." + +"Look again." Bog raised his ragged cap, and smoothed his hair back. + +"Why, it's Mr. Bogert. Cuss me if it a'n't!" + +"Just so, Bill. I'm trying to catch a chap that owes me something, you +see. He's in the ferry house there, waiting for the boat. I'm going to +follow him to Greenpoint, and find out where he lives. Then I'll have +him arrested. Now, there are two people I would like to have as +witnesses, when I track him to his house. The names are written here; +and what I want of you is, to deliver these notes to them as soon as you +can, and tell them to come right away. Will you do it, Bill?" + +"Won't I, Mr. Bogert? Jest tell me the names, streets, and numbers, cos +I can't read handwritin' very well, yer know." + +Bog read the addresses, and, at the same time, produced a quarter from +his fast-diminishing stock of silver. "Take that," said he. + +"No yer don't!" said the eccentric youth. "You've done some good turns +to me. Bill Fish don't forget his friends, I can tell yer. Here +goes, now." + +Bill Fish snatched the notes from Bog's hand, and ran down the street +after a stage which had just left the ferry house on its down trip. Bog +saw him seat himself on the step, with his head well hid from the +driver, and sent a parting whistle after him, to which Bill Fish +responded with an enormous grin and a jerk of thumb over shoulder at his +natural enemy on the box. + +"I'll give Bill Fish a good job, some day," mused Bog. "Now for the +scoundrel." + +The boat had come in. Bog watched from his hiding place until he saw +young Van Quintem step on board, and disappear in the ladies' cabin. +Then he hastened to the ferry house, paid his fare, and entered. To +avoid being seen by young Van Quintem, he took a seat in that repository +of stale tobacco-smoke called the "Gentlemen's Cabin." + +At the Greenpoint landing, Bog watched young Van Quintem's departure +from the boat, and stole out, taking the opposite side of the street. It +was then quite dark, and, with reasonable precaution, there was no fear +that the pursued would see him. + +The young profligate walked up the street several blocks, and turned +into a side street, occupied by residences, with small shops and +groceries at the corners, and occasionally at intervals between them. +Suddenly, Bog observed him looking around, as if to be sure that he was +not watched. Bog slipped behind a large tree. Having apparently come to +the conclusion that nobody was observing him, young Van Quintem strode +on rapidly a few rods farther, and then made a sharp turn into a neat +little millinery shop, which stood quite remote from all other places +of business. + +When the young man's form had disappeared, Bog ran at the top of his +speed to a point opposite the shop, where he could readily see what was +going on within. + +The door was open and a strong light from the interior shone across the +street. There was no tree or awning post, or other object, on the +sidewalk, behind which he could conceal himself. Exactly opposite to the +shop, and in the full blaze of its light, was a high door shutting on a +small alley way. Bog tried the latch, and found the door locked. With +instant decision, he caught the top of the door, and vaulted over it, +trusting to fortune not to be caught on the inside. Applying his eye to +the keyhole, he observed the following condition of things: + +The shop was a milliner's, beyond all question. It was filled with +articles of ladies' wear, whose names and uses were all unknown to Bog; +while outside, in the air, dangled various patterns of skirts which had +just then come into fashion; and the public and obtrusive exhibition of +which is one of the singularities of our rapid civilization. + +Behind the counter stood one of those thin ladies who have dedicated +themselves to the millinery and a single life. At that distance, she +looked to Bog like a perfectly respectable woman, with a sharp eye to +business. Farther on, toward the end of the same counter, was the angel +of his heart, Patty Minford. Her appearance, pale, and therefore more +touchingly beautiful than ever, threw his senses into that sweet flutter +which is the proof and mystery of love. He repeated the vow which he had +made to himself, and dreamed of fulfilling a thousand times, to save her +from harm at the risk of his life. She was folding up articles on the +counter, and packing them into little boxes, and did not look toward +young Van Quintem. Bog thought this a good sign. + +The young man leaned over the counter, and addressed some words to her, +to which her lips moved as if in reply, while her eyes were still +downcast on her work. He then smoothed out the crumpled note which he +had carried in his hand, and placed it before her. She started in +amazement, as she remarked the close imitation of her handwriting; and, +having read it, shook her head with a wondering air. Young Van Quintem's +inexpressive face assumed a look of astonishment, and he instantly +walked to the door, and peered up and down the street, and opposite. +Then he nodded to Miss Minford, as if to excuse himself for a moment, +and, darting out of the shop, walked rapidly to the street below, and +then to the one above, passing Bog's hiding place on that side of the +street, and causing that youth to remove his eye from the keyhole for +fear of detection. When he had made this reconnoissance, and satisfied +himself that there was no spy about, he returned to the shop. In the +mean time, some pantomime had been going on between Miss Minford and the +shopwoman, which Bog interpreted to mean that Miss Minford appealed to +her for protection, and that the shopwoman promised it. This was +followed by the retiring of the young lady through a door in the rear of +the shop, and the locking of the door by her female friend, who put the +key in her pocket. + +Young Van Quintem came in, and was surprised not to see Patty. The +shopwoman explained, with a gesture, that she had gone up stairs, +whereon he consulted his watch, and then sat down in an armchair in +front of the counter, as if with the determination of waiting for her. + +Bog judged, from all the circumstances, that Miss Minford would not +again show herself for some time; that young Van Quintem would wait, in +the hope of seeing her; and that the shopwoman could be depended on as +her friend to the last. He therefore concluded that he might safely +spend time to go to the ferry house, and procure the company of old Van +Quintem and Mrs. Crull, who had probably reached the rendezvous. +Watching for an opportunity when the young man's back was turned, Bog +lightly vaulted from his hiding place, and noiselessly ran down +the street. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +FOUND AND LOST. + +When he arrived at the ferry house, the boat was coming in, with his +venerable accomplices on board. Upon receiving her cue from the +faithful Bill Fish, Mrs. Crull entered her carriage (which had been in +readiness for her since Bog started out on his search), and was driven +to Mr. Van Quintem's. The old gentleman, who was sitting in his study, +with his light overcoat and hat on, prepared for any journey, took the +spare seat in the carriage, and, in less than twenty-five minutes, by +fast driving and the timely cooperation of the ferry boat, they were at +the appointed spot. + +"Have you found her, you dear Bog?" asked Mrs. Crull, breathless. + +Bog answered "Yes," and that Mrs. Crull should see her in five minutes. +That lady then assisted him into the carriage, and kissed him on the +forehead in a motherly way, which would have astonished the sedate +family coachman, if he had not been entirely used to Mrs. Crull's +eccentricities. + +"My good boy," said old Van Quintem, in a trembling voice, "are you sure +we are not too late--quite sure?" + +"Sure!" said Bog. + +"Thank God! thank God!" murmured the old gentleman. Then he looked with +a strange interest upon the honest and intelligent face of the lad. He +was contrasting the history of the poor boy, which he had learned from +Mrs. Crull, with that of his abandoned son. + +The carriage was stopped, by the order of Bog (who calmly took charge of +the whole proceedings), at the corner of the street below the shop; and +the party (excepting the driver) walked slowly toward the scene of +interest. Old Van Quintem's increasing infirmities compelled him to lean +for support on the arm of Mrs. Crull, and also with greater and more +confiding weight, on that of Bog. + +As the party entered the shop, young Van Quintem was sitting with his +head turned toward the door by which Miss Minford had vanished, savagely +biting his finger nails. He wheeled in his chair, and confronted the +intruders. + +"What the ---- are you doing here?" he cried to his father. + +"We are here to save a young girl from ruin, and you from another +crime," said the old gentleman, greatly agitated, and leaning with his +whole weight, now, on Bog's arm. + +"The ---- you are! And you have brought along an old woman, and a boy +that looks like a pickpocket, to help you." + +The phrase "old woman" stirred up Mrs. Crull. She left the old +gentleman's side, and advanced to within a yard of the profligate. "Old +as I am," said she, "I'm strong enough to spank such a white-livered, +broken-down puppy as you are. But I'll leave you to the hands of the +law. It's a long lane that hasn't any turning, remember; and you'll pull +up at the gallows at last. That's some comfort!" + +Mrs. Crull here became conscious that it was highly impolite to lose her +temper, and she fell back to the support of her old friend. Young Van +Quintem laughed at her, showing his white teeth unpleasantly. + +"Ah, I recognize you now," he continued, looking maliciously at the boy +Bog. "You are the young thief that tracked me here, are you? I'll settle +with you now." + +He sprang from his chair, and strode toward the lad. He was met halfway +by Bog, whom the insulting epithet had stung to the quick. + +A foe met halfway is half vanquished. A single glance at Bog's clear, +courageous eye, and his sinewy proportions, assured young Van Quintem +that he had more than his match. + +"This--this is no place for a row," he faltered. "I'll attend to you, +some time, in the street." + +"I shall always be ready for you," said Bog, smiling at this +pusillanimous postponement--which is a mild way of making a +clear backout. + +Here the attention of all was called off by the appearance of Miss +Minford. The quick ear of the milliner had caught her footstep on the +stairs, coming down. She unlocked the door, and the beautiful object of +their search stood before them. She was very pale, and tears dimmed her +eyes. Mrs. Crull flew toward her, and the poor girl fell on her breast, +and cried as if her heart would break. + +Good Mrs. Crull helped her to a sofa, and sat down, and strained her +young friend closely to her bosom, "Be calm," said she, "dear child!" + +Old Van Quintem and Bog looked on with sad interest. The young villain +stood in a corner, gnawing his finger nails, and revolving schemes of +vengeance. All waited for Miss Minford to become calm before any +explanation was sought. + +Under the soothing caresses of Mrs. Crull, the young girl soon became +comparatively tranquil. With her head still pillowed on the broad bosom +of her protectress, she made a broken statement to the following effect, +in response to the tender questionings of that lady: + +She said that she had no thought of leaving the house of her dear +friend, until he had told her how much better it would be to earn her +own living at some easy and pleasant trade, than to be dependent on one +who was not a relative. He had also told her that, one day, when he was +passing the house, he heard Mr. Crull scolding because Mrs. Crull had +brought a girl home to be her companion. + +At this point, Mrs. Crull turned furiously toward the pale offender. +"You miserable wretch!" said she. "I only wish my dear old man was here, +to thrash you soundly. Why, he loved this little darling almost as much +as I did. Besides, I'm the mistress of our house; and he never meddles +with my affairs. Go on, dear Pet." + +Pet then stated that he (she never called him by his name) had promised +to get a place for her, and that she, supposing he was a true friend, +had accepted the offer of his aid. One day, when they had met by +appointment (which was very wrong, she admitted, with a fresh torrent of +tears), he told her that he had found a nice situation for her in a +milliner's shop in Greenpoint, and that she must come right away, or she +would lose the chance. She went home, and packed up her few things in a +handkerchief, and came with him here in a carriage. She came directly +here, and had not been out of Mrs. Wopping's sight since then. Mrs. +Wopping had treated her very, very kindly. + +Mrs. Wopping, who had been lying in wait for her opportunity, here spoke +up. She was a respectable woman, she said, thank God! and had been in +the business for fifteen years, in New York. They could inquire about +her in Canal street, where she had served her apprenticeship; in +Division street, where she had been a forewoman; and in Grand street, +where she had kept a shop. In an evil hour, she had been persuaded to +start a millinery establishment in Greenpoint; and a very bad time she +had had of it. All she knew about this unfortunate affair, was this: The +young man, there, had called on her, a few days ago, and said that he +wanted to do a favor for an orphan girl, who was a distant relative of +his. She was poor, he said, but proud--no strange thing, Mrs. Wopping +believed--and would not accept anything directly from him. + +"Therefore," said Mrs. Wopping, "he wanted to arrange with me to give +her some easy work to do, enough to make her think she was earning her +own living, and he would pay me her board, and give me twenty shillings +a week to hand to her as her wages. By this plan, I could get a boarder +at a fair price, and the services of a young lady to wait on the shop +for nothing. Very imprudently, I consented, but not before I had made +the young man there swear to Heaven that his intentions were honorable. +This he did in the most solemn manner. I loved the dear girl at first +sight, and determined to watch over her, and keep her from harm. I had a +little sister once--long since dead--that much resembled her. I should +add, that, though Miss Minford seemed to think very well of the young +man there, when he brought her here, she became quite suspicious of him +yesterday--he was here all yesterday afternoon--and refused to ride out +with him, though he had brought a handsome carriage for her. I advised +her not to go." + +"Thank you, good Mrs. Wopping!" said Mrs. Crull, shaking that lady by +the hand, "you have been a true friend to our dear child; and I'll +order my bonnets from you for the futer. Virtue shouldn't always be its +own reward. + +"You see, now, my darling," continued Mrs. Crull, "what a scoundrel you +have escaped from. Will you be my adopted child forever? Speak, my +precious!" + +Poor Pet threw her soft white arms around the thick neck of her +protectress, and cried for joy. "Dear, dear mother!" she murmured. + +There was a pause, daring which everybody but young Van Quintem had +occasion to wipe their eyes. He paced up and down, his brow wrinkled, +and inextinguishable hate flashing from his eyes. + +"Well, sir," said his father, calmly, "what atonement have you to make +for this outrage?" + +"You're a ---- old fool, and that's all I've got to say." + +"Heaven be praised that his poor mother was not spared for this sorrow!" +was the tranquil reply. + +"Curse you--and the old woman's memory. You're always making a fuss +about her." + +The benignant expression of old Van Quintem's face vanished instantly, +and a just rage gleamed on every feature. "Unnatural son! monster! +fiend!" he cried, raising his hands aloft; "at last you have gone too +far. Leave my presence, sir, and never--never--let me see your face +again. I say to you, and before these witnesses, that I disown and +disinherit you forever--forever--forever!" + +The coward son could not endure that terrible visitation of parental +wrath, and fled, without another word, from the shop. + +Old Van Quintem fell exhausted upon the strong shoulder of the boy Bog. + +"Henceforth," said he, "you--you--shall be my son." + +[Illustration: FATHER AND SON.] + + + +BOOK TWELFTH, + +SPECULATIONS--PECUNIARY AND MATRIMONIAL. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE "COSMOPOLITAN WINDOW FASTENER." + +The "Cosmopolitan Window Fastener" was a veritable success. For the +first time in his life, Mr. Wesley Tiffles's theories had been +demonstrated by results. Had the "Cosmopolitan Window Fastener" been his +own invention, and disposed of for his own behoof, he would have +abandoned it long before its merits had been fairly tested, and tried +some other of the myriad schemes that floated through his brain. But the +profits of the "Cosmopolitan Window Fastener" went to another; and this +was the secret of Wesley Tiffles's persistent (and therefore successful) +exertions. + +This was his plan of operations: In the first place, from the funds +supplied by Marcus Wilkeson, he procured a patent for the invention. In +the second place, he put an advertisement a column long in every daily +paper--six insertions paid in advance--and handed a highly polished +brass model of the invention to the editor, with a request to notice, if +perfectly agreeable. The just and logical result followed. Instead of +the ten-line paragraph with which patent churns and washing machines +are ordinarily turned loose on society, the "Cosmopolitan Window +Fastener" received notices so long and ornate, that it was quite +impossible to derive from them a correct idea of the matchless +simplicity of the invention. + +Having thus roused public curiosity, Tiffles, in the third place, took +an office on Broadway, and put up a large sign inscribed in gilt +capitals, "The Cosmopolitan Window Fastener Manufacturing Co." From this +_pou sto_, Archimedes-like, he commenced to move the world of house +owners. This he accomplished by the following manoeuvre: He caused +double-leaded advertisements, under the head of special notices, to be +inserted in all the papers, informing the public that it would be +utterly impossible to supply the demand for the "Cosmopolitan Window +Fastener," and that, therefore, it would be useless to send in orders. +The Company were employing all the resources of two large manufacturing +establishments; but it was evident that these would fail to meet the +extraordinary and totally unexpected demand for this indispensable +protection against burglars--this moral safeguard, as it might not +inappropriately be called, of civilized homes. The Company had made +every effort, but without success, to secure a force of skilled workmen +equal to the emergency. Justice to their customers in all parts of the +country, compelled the Company to announce that no orders received after +that date could be filled under two months. Under these remarkable--they +might say, in some respects, disagreeable--circumstances, they begged +leave to throw themselves on the indulgence of a generous public. + +These notices were put forth not only in the form of newspaper +advertisements, but as placards and handbills, which were stuck all over +the city, and thrown into all the stages, falling like autumn leaves +into the laps of passengers. This was the cooeperative work of the boy +Bog, who, though adopted by old Van Quintem as his son and heir, had not +yet given up the bill-sticking business, but, on the contrary, had +increased it, and now had a practical monopoly of it in the city, with +branches in the suburbs. Bog would not eat the bread of idleness--and so +he had modestly told Mr. Van Quintem--and that fine old gentleman had +patted him on the back, and told him that there was genuine Dutch +blood in him. + +Bogert & Co. now employed a hundred lads; and Bog's department of labor +was the general planning of operations, and the receiving and +disbursement of the money--and a very nice and agreeable department it +was. It enabled Bog to dress neatly, and keep his hands clean--two +points upon which he was now extremely fastidious. Bog was growing tall, +manly, and handsome. He was also showing a great improvement in his +grammar and pronunciation--the fruit of diligent attendance at the +evening school. + +The public, being thus continually informed that orders for the +"Cosmopolitan Window Fastener" could not possibly be filled under two +months, very naturally began to send in orders for the invaluable +invention, to be filled after that period. Every mail brought hundreds +of them from all parts of the country. The Company--that is, Wesley +Tiffles--sat at their desk in the Broadway office from, nine to three +o'clock, exhibiting the window fastener to hundreds of visitors, and +receiving orders rather as a matter of favor to the customer than to +the Company. + +At the end of a month, when orders to the amount of nearly seventy-five +thousand dollars had been received--every Northern and Western State +being extensively represented on the books--the Company issued another +advertisement, to the effect that, owing to the overwhelming pressure of +business, they were willing to dispose of patent rights for two of +the States. + +There was a rush of applicants, to all of whom the Company could +truthfully exhibit large and genuine orders from all the States. The +rights for two States were readily sold, and the Company then found that +they could spare one more for a fair compensation; and so on, until +every State in the Union had been disposed of, and the Company had not +an inch of United States territory left. Not only this, but liberal +purchasers were found for Cuba, Canada, South America, England, France, +Germany, Russia, and all the countries of the Continent. + +In three months, the Company had disposed of their entire interest, and +realized about one hundred thousand dollars cash. This sum Tiffles had +faithfully paid over, as fast as received, to Fayette Overtop, who not +only represented Marcus Wilkeson (unknown to Pet), but was Pet's own +attorney and agent. By Fayette Overtop it was placed in bank, credited +to Miss Patty Minford, and subject to her order alone. + +Thus it happened that the poor inventor had not toiled in vain for the +child that he loved. + +Tiffles--with that strange unselfishness sometimes found in men of his +class--had not thought of or desired any compensation for his services, +other than the payment of all the bills incurred in the operation. The +pleasure which he took in manipulating the public, and seeing his labors +crowned with success, was the only reward that he wished for. + +Marcus Wilkeson, however, as soon as he saw that Tiffles was actually +about to perform the amazing feat of raising money, determined, as an +act of common justice, to insist upon his receiving twenty per cent. of +the total. Tiffles flatly refused, at first, saying (which was true) +that he could work a great deal better if he had no personal interest in +the scheme; but yielded, at length, to the earnest solicitations of +Marcus, backed by the emphatic declaration of Miss Minford (through her +attorney), that she would not touch a penny of the money unless he +consented. So, when the affairs of the Company were wound up, Tiffles +found himself the possessor of twenty thousand dollars--a sum whose +existence in a concrete form he had always secretly disbelieved. And +Tiffles's first act was to settle up all his outstanding debts. + +The unexpected acquisition of this immense sum imparted a charm to every +object in life except Miss Philomela Wilkeson. + +Poor Miss Wilkeson was quick to discern the change in Tiffles's manner +toward her. His calls were as frequent as ever, but were exclusively on +her half-brother, and had no side bearing in her direction. He no longer +lingered in the entry to converse with her; and flatly refused her +invitation to take a glass of wine in the dining room. Most ominous of +signs, he did not press her hand in the least, when he took it in his +own. His voice was no longer winning, but harsh and neglectful. +Indifference brooded in the heart of the monster. The worst of it was, +that he had been so cautious and noncommittal in his declarations, that +she could not upbraid him for his perfidy. With a cold calculation +worthy of a demon, he had made love in the pantomimic way, and eschewed +written or verbal communications of an erotic nature. No jury could have +muleted him one cent for damages in a breach-of-promise case, and +he knew it. + +While Wesley Tiffles slipped off Miss Wilkeson like a loose glove, she +might as well have tried to divest herself of her natural cuticle as to +banish all thoughts of him. Miss Wilkeson was accustomed to allude +mysteriously to certain sentimental affairs of her youth. In +confidential moments, her friends had been favored with shadowy +reminiscences of a romantic past. But truth compels us to state that +Miss Wilkeson had never been the recipient of that delicate and awkward +thing known as a proposal, and that she had never been kissed by man or +boy since she wore long dresses. Hence the magnified importance which +she attached to that kiss which, in a moment of reckless but cheap +gallantry, Wesley Tiffles, on one fatal evening, had impressed upon her +withered hand. She loved the destroyer of her peace with the pent-up +energies of forty years. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +MIDDLE-AGED CUPID. + +Being in ignorance of Tiffles's sudden fortune, she was at a loss how to +explain his defection. She conjectured all things, and finally settled +down to the conclusion that he was a coy young man, and had not been +sufficiently encouraged by her. She remembered instances where he had +exhibited signs of ardor--in one case so far as beginning to slip a hand +around her waist--and she had repelled him. He was evidently waiting for +some marked encouragement. How foolishly prudish she had been! + +One evening, as Wesley Tiffles was passing through the hall to the door, +after a rattling hour with the three bachelors, he was confronted by +Miss Wilkeson, who chanced to leave the front parlor on a journey up +stairs at that moment. She was dressed in a light silk, and her hair was +carefully braided, and her face had a pink color in some parts, which +contrasted well with the pallor in other parts; and her glass had told +her that she was looking uncommonly youthful and charming. She had +carefully studied her part, which was to be a bold one, throwing off +all reserve. + +"Good evening, Mr. Tiffles," said she, promptly offering her hand. + +He took it with unsqueezing indifference. She had expected that. + +"Mr. Tiffles," said she, with an air of youthful raillery, "you are a +naughty man, and I had an idea of not speaking to you again." + +"Naughty!" said Tiffles, astonished. "How?" + +"Why, you have hardly been civil to me, of late. I do believe you +wouldn't speak, or shake hands with me, if I didn't always set the +example." This in a half-complaining, half-laughing way. + +It suddenly flashed upon Tiffles that he had been, for some time, +rather neglectful of the lady. It also forcibly occurred to him that it +was wise policy to be on good terms, at all times, with the mistress of +the house; and such was Miss Wilkeson's present position. He therefore +clutched her hand again, gave it a faint squeeze, and said that he +apologized a million times for his rudeness; but the fact was, he had so +much business on hand, that he had been turned into a perfect bear, he +supposed. He playfully challenged Miss Wilkeson to step into the parlor +and take a glass of wine, and he would show her that he was not the +brute she fancied. + +Miss Wilkeson laughingly accepted the challenge. "But I do believe," she +added, "that it is only the glass of wine you care for. Now tell me, Mr. +Tiffles, aren't you a woman hater?" + +"When a man is asked that question, categorically, by a woman, his most +effective answer is to make love to her out of hand. Tiffles was not +prepared to do this in the present case, but he was willing to pay +compliments to any extent. + +"Ah, Miss Wilkeson, there you do me great injustice," said he, with his +pleasantest of laughs. "I drink this glass of wine to 'lovely woman,'" +with a nod at Miss Wilkeson. + +Miss Wilkeson giggled, and took a fly's sip from the brim of her glass. + +Tiffles heaved a sigh. "We bachelors are poor, unhappy fellows, really +to be pitied." + +"You are horrid creatures--you know you are--and deserve no pity from +us!" Miss Wilkeson played her frisky, juvenile part admirably. + +"So charming, and yet so cruel!" said Tiffles, uttering the first +preposterous compliment that he thought of. + +"You flatterer!" said Miss Wilkeson, beating a breeze toward him with +her fan. + +Tiffles, observing that matters were coming to a crisis, paused. Miss +Wilkeson interpreted his silence as another attack of timidity. Time was +valuable to her, and this kind of conversation might be kept up all +night, and amount to nothing. She resolved upon her final _coup_. + +"Oh! oh! Mr. Tiffles, what--what is the matter?" She looked wildly about +her. + +"The matter! What matter?" exclaimed that gentleman, little suspecting +what was to happen. + +"The wine--the warm weather--something--oh! oh!" + +"With these inexplicable remarks, Miss Wilkeson dropped her fan, uttered +a slight but sharp scream, and fell back in her chair, like a withered +flower on a broken stalk. + +"By thunder, she has fainted!" said the excited Tiffles. He had never +been in a similar dilemma, and did not know what to do. He had heard +tickling of the feet highly recommended in such cases; but that was +obviously impracticable. A dash of cold water in the face was also said +to afford instant relief; but there was no water at hand. "I must call +for help," said he. + +This remark appeared to arouse Miss Wilkeson. "Support me," she +murmured. "I shall be better soon." + +Tiffles, all accommodation, clasped her fragile waist with an arm, and +gently inclined her head upon his shoulder. She heaved a sigh, and gave +other tokens of returning animation. Tiffles here noticed that her face +had not the prevailing paleness which always accompanies fainting. He +instantly suspected the true nature of Miss Wilkeson's complaint. + +The noise of quick footsteps resounded in the entry. Marcus, Overtop, +and Maltboy had heard the sharp scream, and were rushing to the rescue. + +"Good heavens! what will they say?" exclaimed Tiffles. "Don't be silly, +Miss Wilkeson, at your time of life." This cutting remark was wrung from +him by the annoyance and confusion of the moment. + +It served as a wonderful anodyne; for Miss Wilkeson Jerked herself into +an erect position, and said, "You're a fool!" + +At this juncture, before Tiffles had quite uncoiled his serpentine arms +from her, and while she was looking fiery indignation at him, the door +was pushed open, and the three bachelors rushed in. + +"I really beg pardon," said Marcus. "No occasion for my services, I +see--ahem!" + +"Heard a scream--thought it was here--no intention to intrude," added +Overtop. + +The tableau reminded Maltboy of his own innumerable little affairs, and +he laughed. "It's a lovers' quarrel," said he, "and not to be +interrupted, of course." + +The three bachelors hastily evacuated the room, and their merry laughs +rang in the entry. + +"Miss Wilkeson," said Times, consulting his watch--he carried a gold +one, with an enormous gold chain--"you must really excuse me. Important +business engagement at nine. Good evening." So saying, Tiffles +precipitately retired, with the determination not to enter the house +again until he knew that Miss Wilkeson was out of it. + +A week from that memorable day, Tiffles met Marcus Wilkeson on Broadway. + +"Why haven't you been to see us?" said Marcus. + +"Not been very smart, of late," explained Tiffles. + +"Fainting fits, perhaps. Maybe they are catching, eh?" + +Tiffles smiled, for he saw that Marcus knew the truth. "How is Miss +Wilkeson?" he asked, respectfully. + +"She has gone into the country for her health, and will probably stay +away a number of years. In short, I have engaged for her the position of +first preceptress of a female seminary in the middle of the State. She +said she was quite sick of the hollow and heartless life of New York." + +Marcus spoke truly. Miss Wilkeson had retired to the country with a +thorough feeling of disgust for town existence. She has taught for +several years, and is still teaching in the ---- Young Ladies' Seminary, +with eminent success, though her fair pupils complain, with much pretty +pouting, of her savage restrictions upon all walks and talks with the +eligible young beaux of the village. They say that she hates the men; +and they call her a cross old maid, and a great number of other +hard epithets. + +But, sometimes, a tear is observed in the corner of her eye, which she +hastily wipes away. That tear is an oblation upon the memory of a lost +love. That lost love was, and is, and always will be, Wesley Tiffles. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +SLAPMAN _vs_. SLAPMAN. + +The case of Slapman _vs_. Slapman occupied the attention of the referee, +Samuel Goldfinch, Esq., over two months. That gentleman was corpulent, +fond of good dinners, and had a highly cultivated taste for scandal. It +had been his custom to give this interesting case a hearing one or two +hours every afternoon, daily, after court. It was a relief from the +heavy business of the day; for Goldfinch had heavy business, which came +to him because he was a fat and pleasant fellow, with a large head, and +a great circle of miscellaneous acquaintance. The real work of the +office was done by a modest, unappreciated man named Mixer. On the +occasion of these antimatrimonial audiences, Mixer sat in the back room, +grubbing among his dusty papers; while Samuel Goldfinch, Esq., in the +front room, with shut doors, leaned back in his easy chair and +surrendered himself to enjoyment. + +In the case of Slapman _vs_. Slapman, a great number of witnesses had +been examined on each side. Affidavits, amounting to hundreds of pages, +had been obtained in distant States--some as far away as California. The +lawyers had spared neither their own time nor the money of their clients +in raking together testimony which would bear in the slightest degree +upon the interests which they represented. All the relatives of Mr. +Slapman had testified that he was a gentleman uniformly kind and +courteous, possessing a singular placidity of temper, and indulgent to +his wife to a degree where indulgence became a fault. Those relatives, +and they were numerous--particularly in the country branch--who had +passed anniversary weeks at Mr. Slapman's house, were very severe on +Mrs. Slapman. She was a proud, disagreeable woman. She was continually +snubbing her husband before people. She had a great many male friends, +whose acquaintance she had retained in defiance of his wishes. She was +known to have received letters from men, and when her husband had +desired to peruse them, had laughed at him. It is true that she +pretended to be a patroness of literature, science, and the arts; but +anybody could see that those things were only the cover of the grossest +improprieties. She had been heard to listen without remonstrance, to +declarations of love from several young men. It turned out, upon +cross-examination, that these irregularities took place in charades and +plays, of which Mr. Slapman's relatives had been shocked spectators. +With regard to Mr. Overtop's transactions in the family, they could say +nothing; for they had long since ceased to visit Mrs. Slapman, on +account of her disgraceful conduct--and also (they might have added, but +they did not add) because Mrs. Slapman latterly had her house full of +Jigbees, and put her husband's relatives into obscure rooms in the third +story, and quite forgot their existence afterward. + +_Per contra_, all the Jigbees--and they were a prolific race--swore that +their distinguished relative was a pattern of artlessness and innocence. +That she was remarkable from early childhood for a charming frankness +and transparent candor. That when this bright ornament of the Jigbee +stock was sought in marriage by the defendant, the whole family, with +one mind and voice, opposed the match. They had felt that a being of her +exalted intellectual tastes was too good for a sordid money-getting +creature like Slapman. But that man, by his ingenious artifices, had +succeeded in winning the hand of their gifted kinswoman, and married her +against their unanimous protests. There was but one consolation for this +family misfortune. Mr. Slapman was reported to be wealthy, and could +afford to indulge his wife in the exercise of her noble longings for +TRUTH. They were willing to say that Mr. Slapman had not been illiberal, +so far as vulgar money was concerned. He had given to his wife the house +and lot which she occupied, and had never stinted her in respect of +allowances. But what was money to a woman of Mrs. Slapman's soul, when +her husband withheld from her his confidence and trust, regarded her +innocent labors in behalf of Art, Literature, and the Drama, with a +cold, unsympathizing eye, and finally descended so low as to feel a +brutal jealousy of those gentlemen of talent, of whom she was the +revered patroness? + +"Money" (we are quoting here from the remarks of Mrs. Slapman's eminent +counsel) "is very desirable in its way, but is it not the vilest dross, +your Honor, when compared with the pure gold of connubial trust and +sympathy?" Mr. Goldfinch nodded his head, as if to say that he rather +thought it was. + +The testimony of two servant girls established the fact that Mr. Slapman +had several times been overheard to tell his wife that she would regret +it; and that the time was fast coming when forbearance would cease to be +a virtue; also that the worm, when trodden on repeatedly, might at last +turn and sting, and many other enigmatical sayings of that character. +The very vagueness of these threats, implying unknown horrors, had +inspired his wife with a mortal dread of him. She did not know at what +moment this jealous and revengeful man might strike her dead. She had +been living in the fear of her life for six years, and, during all this +time, had never complained, or expressed that fear to one of her +relatives or friends. + +"Such is the noble, uncomplaining nature," said the eminent counsel, in +reference to this fact, "of the woman that Fate has thrown into the arms +of a fiend." + +But the most striking proof of Mr. Slapman's murderous designs upon his +wife, was his conduct at the last dramatic _soiree_. Twenty witnesses +swore that it was his evident intention to spring on her and strangle +her, and that he was only thwarted in this horrid purpose by the noble +courage of Fayette Overtop, Esq. Mr. Overtop briefly and modestly +testified to this effect also; and, furthermore, narrated all the +particulars of his acquaintance with Mrs. Slapman, holding before her a +shield, from which the arrows of calumny, aimed by her husband, +fell harmless. + +Mr. Slapman had not shown himself in the referee's office since the +investigation began. He had become convinced that he had lost the case +into which his mad jealousy and his lawyer's advice had plunged him. +Mrs. Slapman, according to the testimony of the two servants and several +others, was immured in her house, and brooding over this saddest episode +in her unhappy history. + +"Nothing but that instinct of self-preservation," said the eminent +counsel, "which bids the dove to fly from the hawk, and the rabbit to +evade the pursuing hounds, could have induced that delicate, shrinking +lady to lay bare the horrors of her prison house to the world, and to +ask, in the name of common humanity, a release from the tyrant, and a +liberal alimony." + +The eminent counsel repeated this flight of fancy in the ear of Mrs. +Slapman, at the opera that evening, whither she was accompanied by a few +of the Jigbees, and she smiled, and said that it was really beautiful. + +The protracted case--of which we have given a mere sketch--was decided +by Samuel Goldfinch, Esq., in favor of the lady, a separation was +decreed, and alimony fixed at six thousand dollars a year, that being +only a wife's fair proportion of Mr. Slapman's income. Mrs. Slapman, +with a well-assumed appearance of levity, gave a _grande soiree musicale +et dramatique_ at her house, in honor of the event, at which Overtop was +a favored guest. Mr. Slapman went direct to Slapmanville, and raised the +rent on all his tenants, turned a superannuated non-paying couple into +the street, and took a general account of his property, to see how much +he could sell out for, preparatory to leaving for Europe, and so dodging +the payment of the alimony. + +The illustrated papers published two portraits--one of an angel, the +other of a demon. The angel was Mrs. Slapman: the demon was her husband. +The comic papers served him up in puns, conundrums, and acrostics, of +the most satirical import. The daily papers, always on the look out for +subjects to write about, improved the occasion to overhaul the question +of divorce, in its statistical, moral, social, and religious bearings. +Two editors, in pursuance of a previous agreement, continued to discuss +the question with great warmth in their respective journals, until they +had written about two hundred octavo pages, when the debate was +published in book form, with paper covers, and sold for their +joint benefit. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +HOW OVERTOP SEALED A CONTRACT IN A WAY UNKNOWN TO CHITTY. + +The notoriety which Fayette Overtop had derived from his questionable +connection with the Slapman Divorce case, had (as has been already +stated) materially contributed to his professional income. By the time +the case was decided, the firm of Overtop & Maltboy ranked among the +most successful of the Junior Bar. + +Now that Overtop had his hands full of business, his thoughts reverted +to matrimony more strongly than ever. It is a singular fact, that +business men find more time to think of marriage, than men of leisure. + +Thoughts of matrimony invariably brought Miss Pillbody into Overtop's +head. He would project mental photographs of her at the top of a table, +beaming sweetly upon him, opposite, with her dim, lovely eyes, and +pouring out the tea from a small silver pot. Overtop never could explain +it; but this imaginary picture realized all his desires of domestic +happiness. + +Overtop not only thought of Miss Pillbody, but, what was more to the +purpose, he visited her. For this, pretexts were not wanting. They never +are. At first, he professed to have been requested, by a friend in the +country, to find a suitable private school for two young daughters. This +justified several visits, until Miss Pillbody could decide positively +that it would be impossible for her to take them--an announcement which +greatly relieved Overtop, though it temporarily put an end to his calls. +Then he hit upon the expedient of pretending to write an essay on +Popular Education, for a monthly magazine, and desired to obtain hints +from her upon the subject. Miss Pillbody, not displeased with the +compliment, though declaring that she had not an idea to give him, gave +him a great many good ideas, to which he appeared to listen, while he +was contemplating her trim figure, and the animated expression of her +face, and thinking how very well she would look at the head of that +poetical table behind that phantom teapot. At last the topic of Popular +Education ran out; and Overtop felt that this kind of imposition could +not be practised much longer. + +One day, while Overtop sat at his desk, with a mass of law papers before +him, thinking not of them but of his dilemma with respect of Miss +Pillbody, a small boy brought him a beautifully written little note from +that lady, asking him to call that evening on business. Overtop sent a +reply, written with extraordinary care (this is a sign of love), saying +that he would be happy to call, as requested. At the same time, he felt +a pang of apprehension that she had found places in her school for the +two young daughters of his supposititious country friend. + +Overtop dressed with unusual care that evening, and presented himself at +Miss Pillbody's house, punctually at the appointed hour. The young +teacher was hard at work in the back parlor, setting copy for the +illiterate wife of a rich city contractor to try her brawny fist on next +day. Miss Pillbody's bewitching eyeglasses bestrided her nose; and the +narrow collar, wristbands, and dainty apron with the red-bound pockets, +looked whiter than ever. + +The teacher blushed slightly as Overtop entered, and put away the copy +book on a high shelf, thereby intimating that she should not work more +that night, and Overtop could stay as long as he would. Thus, at least, +that sagacious student of men, women, and things, interpreted it. +Without a particle of those preliminary commonplaces for which Overtop +had a cherished aversion, Miss Pillbody broke into business at once. + +She said that a Mrs. Cudgeon, the wife of a citizen who had made a large +fortune in butter and eggs, had been taking lessons in all the English +branches, and French (here Miss Pillbody smiled), for six months, but +had postponed payment on one pretext and another, and had finally +withdrawn from the school, leaving unpaid tuition to the amount of one +hundred and fifty dollars. Miss Pillbody had written several dunning +letters to Mrs. Cudgeon, and received no answer. The soft grass of +epistolary entreaty having failed, Miss P. now proposed to try what +virtue there was in the hard stones of the law. She had sent to Mr. +Overtop for advice. + +Overtop listened to the statement of the case with professional +attentiveness. He was sub-thinking, all the time, what an extremely +sensible woman Miss Pillbody was, not to allow herself to be cheated, +but to go to law in defence of her rights. He assured his interesting +client that she could count on his best services, and that she might +consider the one hundred and fifty dollars as good as recovered. From +this point the conversation glided off into a wilderness of general +topics. Overtop had a habit (a bad one, it must be confessed) of +sounding people's mental depths. He found that Miss Pillbody was no +shallow thinker. He left the house at eleven o'clock, supposing it was +ten, and had a delightful vision, that night, of the little round table +and the teapot, and the presiding angel. + +Next day, Overtop wrote the following letter: + + New York,--. + + MR. J. CUDGEON: + + SIR: Enclosed is a bill of items, amounting to one hundred + and fifty dollars, for your wife's tuition at Miss + Pillbody's private school. Be good enough to look it over, + and inform me, to-morrow, what you will do about it. I will + tell you candidly, that it is for our interest, as a young + law firm, to sue you for the debt; but my client will not + consent to this, until all other efforts fail, out of regard + to the feelings of Mrs. C. + + Your obedient servant, + + OVERTOP & MALTBOY, + + No ------ Building, + + J. CUDGEON, Esq. + +Overtop remembered that one J. Cudgeon had run for the Assembly at the +previous fall election, and he surmised that, being a politician and a +public character, J. Cudgeon would not like to see the bill of items in +print. Overtop reasoned correctly; for, at ten A.M. the following day, +that gentleman called at the office and paid the one hundred and fifty +dollars, and said that he was very much obliged to Overtop & Maltboy for +their gentlemanly conduct in the affair. Mr. Gudgeon had not been aware +of his wife's pupilage at Miss Pillbody's private school, though he had +observed (he added, confidentially), for some months past, a slight +improvement in her grammar. "I am not ashamed to say that we were poor +once," said Mr. Gudgeon, with a glow of pride. + +"When Overtop placed the one hundred and fifty dollars in the white hand +of the schoolmistress, she looked at him with gratitude and admiration, +which more than repaid him. Not only this, but she asked him, with not a +particle of hesitation, how much his fee was. + +"Fee!" exclaimed Overtop, a little nettled at the implied insult. (Young +lawyers are apt to be.) "Nothing, Miss Pillbody; decidedly nothing." + +"But I prefer to pay you, Mr. Overtop. Why should you work for me for +nothing, when I am not willing to do the same thing for Mrs. Gudgeon? +'The laborer is worthy of his hire,'" she added, laughing. "I set that +adage in a copy book to-night." + +"But I won't take anything," said Overtop, no longer nettled, but +charmed to perceive this exhibition of sound good sense in a young lady. + +"But I insist that you shall," continued Miss Pillbody, pleasantly. +"Tell me, now, how much it is." + +Overtop was standing within two feet of the schoolmistress, and her +soft, dim eyes were beaming right into his. We leave psychologists to +settle the phenomenon as they will; but the fact was, that each saw love +in the eyes of the other. Overtop, in his bachelor musings, had thought +over a hundred odd methods of putting _the_ question. At this critical +moment in the history of two hearts, a new form of the proposition +occurred to him, so original and eccentric, that he determined to +propound it at once. + +He took Miss Pillbody's hand in his, before she knew it. She blushed, +and would have withdrawn it; but he retained the hand with a +gentle pressure. + +"My dear Miss Pillbody," said Overtop, "I will take five dollars from +you on one condition, and no other. Will you grant it?" + +The schoolmistress, not knowing what she was saying, said "Yes." + +"The condition is, that I shall buy an engagement ring, and put it on +this dear hand." + +Miss Pillbody blushed, and cast down her gentle eyes. The sagacious +young lawyer, interpreting these signs as a full consent, stole his arm +around her waist, and sealed the contract in a way all unknown +to Chitty. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +A RETURNED CALIFORNIAN. + +At last, Matthew Maltboy was engaged. He had, since twenty, been +dallying on the edge of a betrothal. Now he had taken the momentous step +into that anomalous region which lies between celibacy and married +life, where a man is not exactly a bachelor, nor yet, by any means, a +husband. It is the land in which the dim enchantments of romance begin +to assume the plain outlines of reality. It is the land in which the +pledge of undying affection, breathed, at some rapturous moment, into a +delicate, inclining ear, becomes invested with awful meaning, and has a +value in the legal market like a bond and mortgage. It is the land where +the excitement of pursuit is over, and the game is securely cornered, +but not yet in hand. It is the spot where the ardent huntsman of Love +pauses to look back, and ceases to bend his longing gaze into the +distance beyond. + +How it came to pass that the unreliable Matthew Maltboy had become the +affianced one of the pleasant widow Frump, it is not the purpose of this +history to record. Let it suffice to say, that the mutual aversion which +they felt, some months before, at Mr. Whedell's house, on New Year's +day, was the starting point in their course of true love. Such an +aversion, subsequently smoothed away, is often the most promising +beginning of a courtship. + +Mrs. Frump had frequently met Matthew on the street, and been gratified +with his deferential bow. His bulk, to which, as a rotund lady, she had +taken an antipathy, seemed to dwindle down as it was looked at. Matthew, +whose ideal was a delicate woman with observable shoulder blades, had +also, by repeated sights of Mrs. Frump, become reconciled to her ample +proportions. Meantime, they had heard much, incidentally, of each other +through Marcus Wilkeson. Matthew had come to esteem Mrs. Frump for her +affectionate devotion to old Van Quintem; and Mrs. Frump had secretly +admired the powerful though silent legal ability displayed by Mr. +Maltboy in the inquisition before Coroner Bullfast. + +One night, Matthew, accompanied Marcus to his old friend's house; and, +on the second night following, this couple were engaged--a happy event, +which was brought about no less by the widow's experience, and +conviction that there was no time to lose, than by Matthew's +impulsive ardor. + +He had been engaged ten days; and so entirely had he talked out the time +to the widow, that it seemed six months. + +"Why is it," thought Matthew, stretching himself in his chair, and +looking critically at the widow, who was knitting crotchet work, "why is +it that I no longer adore her? She is just as pretty, just as amiable, +just as affectionate as ever. Now, why don't I care a button for her at +this moment?" Matthew was not a transcendental philosopher; and the true +answers to these questions did not come to him. + +Old Van Quintem, pale and beautiful in his declining years, sat by the +window that opened on the green leaves of the back yard, calmly smoking +his pipe, and thinking, with a holy sadness, of his dead wife and his +worse-than-dead son. The old gentleman, and the two quiet affianced +ones, who sat near him, made up a well-dressed and handsome group; the +pictorial effect of which was suddenly marred by the apparition of a +stranger in the doorway. + +He was tall, muscular, and what little could be seen of his face through +a heavy growth of whiskers was mild and prepossessing, in spite of two +large scars just visible below the broad brim of a rough hat. His dress +was faded and dirty. + +The stranger stood in the doorway, and surveyed the occupants of the +room. + +Old Van Quintem looked at the intruder a moment, and then said, as if +remembering something, "Are you the man sent by Crumley to mend my +piazza railing?" + +There was the least hesitation in the man's voice, as he answered, "Yes, +sir. I'm here to do that job." His voice was a deep growl, as of a +grizzly bear half tamed. + +"Where are your tools?" asked old Van Quintem. + +The stranger communed with himself, and then replied, in the most +natural manner, "I s'pose I only want a saw, a hammer, and a few nails. +You have 'em, haven't yer?" + +"You're a funny sort of carpenter, to travel without your tools. Do you +know, now, that you look more like a California miner than a carpenter?" + +"That's not very 'markable," returned the stranger, in profound guttural +accents, "considerin' as how I come from California this week." + +"You have brought home tons of gold, I dare say," said old Van Quintem, +playfully. + +"A little," growled the stranger. "The diggins was poor in Calaveras +County when I fust went there, but latterly they improved." + +At the mention of Calaveras County, the widow suddenly fixed her eyes +upon the stranger, and then dropped them on her crotchet work. + +Matthew Maltboy here conceived a happy thought, namely, to ask this +stranger if he ever knew Amos Frump (the deceased husband of Mrs. +Frump), who was killed in that very county in an affray growing out of a +disputed claim, five years before. Mrs. Frump, after her engagement to +Matthew, had furnished him with slips from three California papers, +giving full particulars of the sanguinary affair. Before he was engaged, +he had never felt the slightest curiosity to know the history of his +predecessor; but, since then, he had entertained a strong secret desire +to learn more of him, and especially of the reasons which induced him to +abandon a young and lovely wife, and make a Californian exile of +himself. Upon this subject the widow had never volunteered any +satisfactory information, and he had been politely reluctant to ask +her about it. + +Old Van Quintem, who was too sleepy at that time to talk much, procured +the necessary tools from a cupboard in the kitchen, and showed the +stranger what work was to be done. The old gentleman then returned to +his easy chair by the window, threw a handkerchief over his head, and +settled himself for a nap. + +Before the carpenter had struck the first blow, Matthew Maltboy rose, +remarked to the widow that he wanted to stretch himself a little, and +walked out upon the piazza. + +The carpenter stood near the door, with the saw in one hand and the +hammer in the other, very much in the attitude of listening. At +Matthew's approach, he commenced feeling the teeth of the saw, as if to +test their sharpness. + +"I would like to speak a word with you, sir," said Matthew, in a low +voice, motioning the carpenter to accompany him to a corner of the +piazza, out of the widow's possible hearing. + +Having attained that safe position, Matthew opened the great subject. + +"You remarked that you had dug gold in Calaveras County," said he. "Did +you ever happen to know a man by the name of Frump--Amos Frump--who was +a miner there?" + +"Frump!" replied the carpenter. "He was an intimate friend of mine." + +"Now that's lucky," said Matthew, "for I want to find out something +about the man." + +"Then you've come to the right shop," answered the carpenter; "for his +own brother--if he ever had one--couldn't tell you more about him +than I." + +"I am indeed fortunate. In the first place, then this man Frump is +really--dead?" + +The carpenter pulled his rough hat farther over his forehead, and +replied: + +"As dead as two big splits in the skull could make him. But 'xcuse me, +sir; he was my bosom friend, and I can't bear to talk of his death." + +"He _is_ dead, then, and no mistake," said Matthew, soliloquizing. "Yet +I am not exactly glad to know it." + +The carpenter's face expressed surprise at this remark. + +"I beg your pardon," said Matthew. "Of course I am not glad to hear of +your friend's death. But, to tell the truth," he continued (inventing an +excuse), "I had always heard that this Frump was a wild fellow; that he +didn't treat his wife decently, and at last ran away from her. You see I +am acquainted with the family. In fact, I know Mrs. Frump quite well." + +"And did she tell you all this about her dead husband?" asked the +carpenter. + +"Oh, no!" returned Matthew, who began to fear that he had gone too far. +"She never says anything about his personal character. I only spoke from +common report." + +"Then common report is a common liar; for I know there never was a +steadier chap than this same Amos Frump; and his wife can't say that he +ever struck her, or said a cross word to her. Amos told me all about +himself; and I'd believe him through thick and thin." The carpenter +spoke in his dismal chest voice, without the least indication of +excitement. + +"Then why did he leave his wife? and why did she never hear of him until +the time of his death? You will confess that _that_ was odd." + +"I give you the reasons," answered the carpenter, "as Amos give 'em to +me. It seems that _he_ was a poor, uneducated feller. _She_ had a few +thousand dollars from her grandfather's property, and was sent by her +parents to the best o' schools. Though he and she were so much unlike, +they got up a kind o' fondness for each other from the time when Amos +saved her from bein' run over by a horse. They used to meet each other +secretly, because, you see, her folks didn't like Amos. They thought +that a girl with three or four thousand dollars in her own name, ought +to set her eyes rather above a feller like him. Well, arter no end o' +trouble, they was married. Her folks pretended to treat Amos all right, +but was allers talkin' agin him; and finally they pizened her mind with +the idee that he had married her only for her money, and that all the +while he loved another gal. She began to treat him very cold like, and, +one day, when she was in a little bit of temper--" + +"Has Mrs. Frump any temper?" asked Matthew, anxiously. "I never saw it." + +"But you a'n't her husband," replied the carpenter. "Amos told me that +she did show a leetle temper now and then. However, he allers said she +was a pooty good gal in the main. Well, one day, when her dander was up +about somethin', she told him that she b'lieved he married her for her +money, and she'd die before he should have a cent. Amos was a proud +feller, if he _was_ poor; and, when he heerd this, he left the house +right off, walked to New York, and shipped as a sailor to San Francisco. +I met him when he fust come to the mines, and, as he was a spry, tough +chap, I let him work a claim with me on shares. We ate and slept +together, and many a time, in the dark night, has he spoke to me about +his wife, and how much he thought of her; but he said he never should go +back till he had money enough to buy out her and her hull family. We was +very unlucky, and Amos got downhearted, and took to drink. By and by he +moved off to another claim, and worked on his own hook. He did better +there; but all the gold he dug out he used to spend in gamblin' and rum; +and at last a drunken quarrel put an end to Amos Frump." + +"Poor fellow!" said Matthew. "And do you think the widow ever grieved +for him?" + +"No, I guess not; for Amos allers said that she was not a very lovin', +affectionate woman; though, if he had been as rich as her, or if her +family had let her alone, she would have made him a tol'able wife." + +"Not loving! Not affectionate!" thought Matthew. "And I am about to +marry her!" A cold shudder crept over him. + +Hiding his emotions with an effort, he again interrogated the affable +carpenter: + +"And do you really think that Mr. Frump would have returned, and lived +again with his wife, if he had become rich?" + +"To be sure he would. He couldn't marry anybody else, yer know, without +committin' bigamy. He allers said he didn't care much whether his wife +loved him, so long as she treated him civilly." + +"Mr. Frump had practical views of married life," suggested Matthew. + +"Amos was sensible in some things," said the carpenter. "But he was a +queer feller, too. He allers had a notion of comin' home kind o' +disguised, so that his wife shouldn't know him. I used to tell him that +a few more years in Californy would make him so thin, yaller, and +grizzly, that he wouldn't need no disguise." + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REVELATIONS OF A LAUGH. + +The carpenter here burst out with an extraordinary peal of laughter. It +was so very peculiar, that, once heard, it would always be identified +with the person making it. This singular laugh consisted of a brilliant +stacatto passage on a high key, interrupted by occasional snorts, and +terminating with a slur which covered the whole descending octave. It +was also very loud and very long. + +It had the effect of bringing Mrs. Frump to the door. She thrust out her +head, unseen by either the carpenter or Matthew, and looked at the +former with a wondering air. + +"It was an odd idea," said Matthew, laughing slightly out of compliment +to the carpenter, though he could not understand what there was to +laugh at. + +"And now," continued he, when the carpenter's cachinations had subsided, +"I will explain to you my motive in asking all these questions. I am +engaged to Mrs. Frump, and she is now--" + +The carpenter immediately broke into another of his remarkable laughs, +louder and longer than before. + +"Well, sir," said Matthew, sarcastically, "when you get through, perhaps +you will be good enough to tell me what you are laughing about?" + +"The idee--ha! ha!--of your--ha! ha!--marrying Mrs.--ha! ha! ha!" and +the remainder of the sentence was lost in that monstrous laugh. + +Matthew, irritated by this most aggravating species of ridicule, took +the carpenter's measure for a kick--but judiciously refrained from +fitting him with one. + +The second of the carpenter's laughs had made the widow (still +stealthily looking out of the door) turn pale. The third had inspired +her with a painful curiosity, which she had determined to gratify, at +any risk. Before the last laugh, she had, therefore, crept up, +unobserved, near where Matthew and the carpenter were standing, with +their backs toward her. Coming around suddenly in front of them, she saw +the carpenter's mouth wide open, still in the act of laughing, and +observed that one of his front teeth was out. The widow screamed, and +fell--into Matthew's arms, nearly flooring him. + +"Hold on to her," said the carpenter. "She will come to in a minute." + +"Who, sir--who on earth _are_ you?" shouted Matthew, struggling under +the burdensome widow and a sense of mental bewilderment. + +"I am Amos Frump," he replied, in a voice which had suddenly risen five +notes. + +"The widow's husband! The dead come to life!" exclaimed Matthew, +starting back, and nearly dropping the inanimate form. + +Astounded as he was, he did not forget the marital rights of the man +before him; and he said, with a trembling voice, politely, "I beg your +pardon; but, as you are this lady's husband, perhaps you had better +hold her." + +"She appears to be doing very well where she is," replied the singularly +calm Amos Frump. "A moment more, and she will be out of her fainting +spell. I've seed her very often this way before." + +Mr. Frump's prediction was verified; for his lips had scarcely closed on +the words, when Mrs. Frump opened her eyes, and feebly said, "Is it +a dream?" + +"No, Gusty," replied the composed Amos; "it is a husband come back from +Californy, with fifty thousand dollars." + +"It is--it is my own 'husband's voice!" cried Mrs. Frump, throwing +herself impulsively out of Matthew's arms upon the patched and faded +coat of her restored consort. + +"I thought you would know the voice," said Amos, "and that's the reason +I changed it into a growl. This 'ere old Californy suit was a pooty good +disguise, too. But my confounded laugh betrayed me. I didn't think to +change that." + +The third laugh had roused old Van Quintem from a nice nap, and he came +out on the piazza. + +"Hallo, Mr. Carpenter! what are you doing there?" said he, +good-naturedly. + +A few words from the supposed carpenter defined his position, and threw +old Van Quintem into the appropriate state of amazement. Looking at the +shaggy face by a variety of lights, he soon came to recognize it as that +of his niece's husband, whom he had seen a few times on his yearly +visits to the country, before his farming brother, Nicholas Van Quintem, +father of Mrs. Frump, had died. + +"From the way Gusty hangs to you, I judge you are no ghost," said old +Van Quintem, when he had partly recovered his senses. + +"No more than I am a carpenter," was the dry response. + +"But how does it happen that you are no ghost?" asked old Van Quintem, +with fearful interest. + +This was what everybody wanted to know; and so Mr. Frump, supporting his +wife by the waist, while she, apparently half stupefied, reposed her +head on his shoulder, explained the mystery of his appearance. He had +been severely injured in a drunken quarrel about a claim--he would not +deny _that_; and, taking off his broad-brimmed hat, he showed the two +deep scars extending from his eyebrows to the roots of his hair. He was +left on the ground for dead, and his assailants ran away. The +enterprising correspondent of three San Francisco papers saw him when he +was first found, and, learning that he would undoubtedly die, the +enterprising correspondent regarded him as already sufficiently dead for +newspaper purposes, and sent three thrilling accounts of his butchery, +written up with ingenious variations, to the three journals of which he +was the indefatigable "special." In a few days, the nearly murdered man +was out of danger. On learning that the news of his death had already +been sent to the papers, the singular idea came into his mind to let the +report go uncontradicted, change his name, give up drinking, move away +to some place where he was not known, and begin his miner's life over +again. The special correspondent, on being consulted by him, assured Mr. +Frump that he could depend on his (the correspondent's) silence, since +it was his invariable practice never to take back or qualify any +statement made by him--such a course being obviously fatal to his +hard-earned reputation for accuracy. The correspondent also very +obligingly supplied him with copies of the papers containing the +circumstantial accounts of his death, which he directed in a disguised +hand, and sent through the mail to his wife. He had then assumed another +name, gone into Benicia County, was successful in gold digging, and, +after making about two thousand dollars, had taken up his residence in +the nearest village (undesignated), and had invested his money in +speculations (kind not particularized). Fortune followed him, but he +found it convenient, for certain reasons (not given), to move away to +another village, in a few months. In fact, he had, within four years, +made the entire circuit of California, never staying in one place more +than a quarter of a year. + +"I don't want to brag," said Mr. Frump, "but it is well enough to have +it understood that I made my pile." + +Mr. Frump nodded his head quietly, as one who does not lie. + +Old Van Quintem had hitherto hesitated to congratulate Mrs. Frump upon +the reacquisition of her husband. He now advanced, and shook her warmly +by the hand. + +"I wish you joy," said he. "And you too, Mr. Frump. I never had the +pleasure of meeting you often, though I had frequently heard of you. +With regard to those unpleasant family difficulties in which you became +involved, they are now at an end; for Gusty's parents are both dead, and +the old house and farm are sold. Let bygones be bygones." + +"So say I, Mr. Van Quintem," said Mr. Frump, grasping the extended hand. +"As for my wife's relatives, I'm sure I allers forgave 'em. As for the +old house and farm, if you like, Gusty, we'll buy it back agin." + +Mrs. Frump, still resting on her husband's shoulder, sobbed a little, +and clung closer about him. + +"Here is one friend of the family," continued Amos, in his pleasantest +manner, pointing to Matthew, "whom I don't know by name, though we've +scraped an off-hand 'quaintance." + +"Mr. Frump--Matthew Maltboy, Esq.," said old Van Quintem. + +Matthew, like Mrs. Frump, had fully appreciated the awkwardness of his +situation, and had kept a rigid silence since the returned Californian +resumed possession of his wife. The minute after Mr. Frump's identity +had been established, Matthew could have hugged him with ecstasy. But, +having lost the widow, his fickle mind straightway began to discover in +her a great many excellencies that he had never seen before. Therefore, +when he submitted his hand to the grip of Mr. Frump, his face expressed +a strangely mingled joy and regret. + +"I like you," said Mr. Frump, "and, as soon as wifey and I commence +housekeepin' agin, I'll expect lots o' visits from you. Whenever I'm not +at home, wifey'll make everything comfortable. Won't you, dear?" + +"If you wish it," replied Mrs. Frump, looking up into his face, which +was not a repulsive one, "for your word shall always be my law." + +"I must say," said Matthew, his face exhibiting unqualified admiration +for Mr. Frump, "that you are the most generous man I ever met. And, if +Mrs. Frump will promise to introduce me to some nice young woman, that +she could recommend for a wife, perhaps I'll accept your invitation." + +"I'll get you a wife in less than a week," said Mrs. F., who was +rejoiced that the interview between her recovered husband and late +suitor had ended peacefully. + +"But one thing you haven't yet explained, Amos," said old Van Quintem. +"How did you get into Crumley's employment?" + +"Bless your innocent heart, I am not! I arrived this mornin', in the +steamer----, straight from Aspinwall, with this old scarecrow suit on, +jest as you see me now. I was intendin' to take the railroad for Tioga +County, and play off a leetle surprise on Gusty, and her relations up +there. But, before goin', it 'curred to me to call on a Mr. Lambkin, who +was raised in Tioga, and keeps a grocery store in the lower part of +Washington street. I found Mr. Lambkin in, and he told me as how, +accordin' to last accounts, Gusty was stayin' with her uncle Van +Quintem. I knowed your address, and come up here short metre. I was +goin' to pretend that I was a man in search of work, and trust to luck +to get a sight of Gusty. I found your front door open, and walked +through the entry to the back parlor, where you fust see me standin'. +Afore I could ask you for any work, you wanted to know if I hadn't been +sent to mend your piazza railing. It was easy to say 'Yes,' and I +said it." + +"And very well you carried out the joke, Amos," said old Van Quintem. +"You wouldn't make a bad actor." + +"Rather better actor than carpenter, I guess," said Mr. Frump. + +"Perhaps so," said old Van Quintem; "but a financier of your talent +needn't act, or mend railings, for a living. I should like to know, now, +how you made your money in California. Nine out of ten who go there, +come back poorer than they went." + +"'Tisn't best to ask too many questions of a returned Californian," +answered Amos, in perfect good humor. + +"Nor of anybody else, about business matters. You are right," added old +Van Quintem. + +"I say to wifey, and to all my friends, 'Let bygones be bygones. Take +me as you find me, and I'll take you as I find you; and we'll ax no +questions on either side.'" + +"Dear Amos, you are the best of husbands!" said Mrs. Frump, looking +fondly in his face. Mr. Frump improved as he was looked at. + +"Let bygones be bygones' is a very good rule," said old Van Quintem. + +"Mr. Frump," said Matthew, unable longer to repress the compliment, "you +have a wonderful amount of good sense!" + +"I told you," was the laughing reply, "that 'Amos was sensible in some +things.'" + + + +BOOK THIRTEENTH + +THE STRANGE LADY. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +A STORY OF THE PAST. + +Another year slipped away, and wrought many changes among the +inhabitants of the block. Some of them had passed from stately mansions +to those narrow houses which are appointed for all the living. Others +had wedded, and moved to other blocks which were to be their future +homes--till the 1st of the following May. Some of them had grown rich by +quick speculations, and got into the choicest society by the simple +manoeuvre of taking a four-story brownstone front in the avenue which +formed the eastern boundary of the block. Others had attained to poverty +by the same process, and had migrated to cheaper lodgings in blocks +remote, expecting that a lucky turn of Fortune's wheel would bring them +back to fashionable life next year, as it most likely would. The +principal personages of this history had been radically affected by this +lapse of time--as will hereafter be shown--with the single exception of +Marcus Wilkeson. + +For one year, life had passed tranquilly, uneventfully. He had sought, +and found, in his dear books, a panacea for that sickness of the heart +which sometimes attacked him in his lonelier hours. At such, times, he +would repeat to himself these expressive lines of an old poet: + + This books can do; nor this alone; they give + New views of life, and teach us how to live; + The grieved they soothe, the stubborn they chastise; + Fools they admonish, and confirm the wise. + Their aid they yield to all; they never shun + The man of sorrow, or the wretch undone. + Unlike the hard, the selfish, and the proud, + They fly not sullen from the suppliant crowd, + Nor tell to various people various things, + But show to subjects what they show to kings. + +The end of the quiet, sad (but not unpleasantly sad) twelve months found +Marcus, on a bright morning in the month of August, sitting at his +window, with a favorite book on his knees, looking--where he should not +have looked so much--at that window in the old house where the only +tragedy of his life had been wrought. As he gazed, like one fascinated +by a spell, his features lengthened, and the habitually melancholy +expression of his face became deepened and confirmed. + +So wrapt was he in these unhappy self-communings, that he did not hear a +vigorous "rat-tat-tat" on the door of the little back parlor. A +repetition of the performance aroused him, and to his call, "Come in," +Mash, the cook, presented herself. + +"A woman at the door wishes to speak to you, sir, on important business, +she says. Shall I show her in, sir?" Mash laid stress on the word +"woman," in retaliation for the somewhat peremptory way in which the +person in question had accosted her at the door. The "Buttery and the +Boudoir--a Tale of Real Life," afforded her a precedent on this point. + +"Show in the lady," said Marcus, wondering who she could be. + +A tall, shapely person, dressed in deep black, and wearing a thick veil, +was ushered into the room. She bowed slightly, and took a seat which +Marcus offered her, near the window, and then looked significantly at +Mash, who lingered in an uncertain way about the door. + +"You may shut the door, Mash," said Marcus; and Mash did so with a +little slam, intended to pierce the heart of the mysterious woman in +black, for whom that domestic had, in one minute, conceived a +mortal dislike. + +The strange woman drew back her veil, and revealed a thin, pale face, +which might have been handsome twenty years back. "Do you remember +having seen me before?" + +Marcus looked into the thin face with polite scrutiny. "Yes, madam," +said he, at length. "I think I saw you on a railway train in New Jersey, +over a year ago; and also in the town of--, in that State, on the +evening of a certain unfortunate exhibition. But you are changed, in +some respects, since then." + +"You would say that I am paler and thinner; and I am here to tell you +why I am, and also to make all the atonement in my power for a crime +that I have committed." + +Marcus Wilkeson's first thought was of the unfathomed murder. His +startled face expressed what was passing through his mind. + +The strange woman read his thoughts. "The crime to which I refer is not +the murder of Mr. Minford; of which, I may here say, I believed, from +the first, that you were entirely innocent. Crimes--of that character, +at least--have never been known in your family." + +"All that you say, taken in connection with some curious circumstances +which occurred on that railway ride, and that memorable night in New +Jersey," said Marcus, "make me intensely anxious to hear what you have +to tell. Please impart the information at once, and fully. I call Heaven +to witness, that your name, your history, the secret which you are to +reveal, shall pass with me to the grave, if you desire it." + +"I accept your offer," said she, with emotion, "though my crime is so +flagrant that no publicity, no punishment would be too great for it. +Still, as full justice can be done, and reparation made, without this +public disgrace, I prefer that my identity should be unknown except to +you. I think that I have but few months to live." The woman expelled a +hacking cough. + +"My story must be short," said she, "and suited to my strength and this +cough. You probably remember Lucy Anserhoff, who was a little playmate +of yours in your native village? I see, by your nod, that you do. I +am--she. You may well look surprised, for there is little in my haggard +face and wasted form to recall that once innocent girl. You remember, I +presume, my engagement to your brother Aurelius--excuse my faltering, +sir, for, even at this distance of time, I cannot speak of your dead +brother without emotion. It is not necessary to recall to your memory +the details of your brother's conduct to me, and how he afterward +married--another--and moved to this city. This early portion of my +unfortunate career is well known to you, as it was to all the people of +our little village." + +Here the strange visitor paused, and coughed. The cough was dry and +hollow. + +She continued: "I think I may say that I was amiable and good enough, as +a child. But your brother's desertion changed my whole nature. I dwelt +upon one thought--revenge. I shudder as I confess it, but, for months, I +meditated taking the life of the man who had wronged me. I came to this +city twice, and lay in wait for him; but my heart faltered, and, thank +God! I did not commit that crime. Soon, Heaven interposed--so it seemed +to me at that wicked time--to help on my work of vengeance. Your +brother's wife died, giving birth to a female child. I used to ride into +the city twice a week regularly after this, and watch for him near his +place of business, that I might gloat on his pale, unhappy face. I see +the look of horror with which you receive this part of my confession; +but you will bear in mind, sir, that I am hero to tell the truth, +concealing nothing. You remember, sir, the old lines about a woman +scorned? I, sir, can bear witness to their awful truth." + +Another fit of coughing here interrupted her. At length she resumed, in +a feebler voice: "I must hasten while I can talk at all. One day, while +I was watching near your brother's house for his appearance, the door +opened, and a servant appeared, with a child in her arms--his child. The +servant walked down the street, and I followed her, unobserved, until +she came to Washington Parade Ground. She entered the park, and took a +seat near the fountain. I sat down on a bench near her. It was not long +before I made the girl's acquaintance, and had the child in my arms, +caressing it with well-counterfeited kindness. Suddenly, the girl +recollected that she had left the street door of the house unlocked, and +was afraid that the house, having not a soul in it, would be robbed +during her absence. She was so much troubled about it, that she asked me +to hold the child--then about a year old--until she could go and lock up +the house, and return. A horrible suggestion came into my mind, and I +took the child in my arms. The servant was no sooner out of my sight, +than I rose, and, clasping the child tightly, walked rapidly in the +opposite direction. When I had got out of the park, among the side +streets near North River, I ran until I was tired, turning at every +corner, to avoid pursuit. My plan was clear from the moment that the +child was left in my charge. It was, to give her into the keeping of +some stranger, and so rob the widowed father of his only child. It was a +scheme worthy of the lost and wretched woman that I then was." + +A fit of coughing here set in, interrupting the narrative for several +minutes. Marcus offered his strange guest a glass of water. She sipped +it, until her cough was checked. + +"I wished to make a full and minute statement, sir; but this cough again +warns me to be very brief. In a word, then, I had not gone far, before I +saw a German woman--a neat, elderly person--sitting on the stoop of her +house. An impulse moved me to leave the child with her. I accosted her, +but she answered me in German, saying that she could not speak English. +Hardly knowing what I did, I mounted the steps, and placed the child in +her arms, first kissing it. Then I tossed my pocket book, containing +about twenty dollars, into her lap, and, without another word or act, +ran off again. As I drew near the next corner, I turned, and saw the +German woman still sitting on the stoop, looking at the child, and then +at the money, and then at my flying form, in perfect amazement. + +"Well, I returned to my country home in safety. Next day, I saw in the +New York papers a reward of five hundred dollars for the recovery of the +child, and the same amount for the arrest of the woman who stole it. My +person was described, according to the recollection of the servant, but +so imperfectly that I could not be identified. In two weeks I visited +the city again, found the house where I had left the child--for I had +remembered, even in my haste, the street and the number. The poor little +thing was well, and had learned to love its new mother, who, in turn, +seemed to love it as well as her own two children. I kissed the child, +left more money with the German woman, and fled again to my home. These +visits I repeated from week to week for six months, without detection. +The German woman supposed that I was the mother of the child, but knew +there was a secret, and did not seek to disturb it. At the end of the +six months, your--your--brother died." (There was here a slight quaver +in her voice, almost instantly passing away.) "Soon after this, my +mother died, and the last of our family estate was spent on her burial." +(Another tremor in the voice, but brief. The woman seemed to have +perfect control of her feelings.) + +"Fortunately, I was qualified to earn my living as a seamstress. I went +to the city, advertised for such a place, and obtained it. I visited the +child secretly, sometimes, and left money for its support and clothing. +But the idea of detection and exposure troubled me greatly. One day, I +read an advertisement from a married couple who had no children, +offering to adopt a girl under two years of age. I answered the +advertisement, and thus became acquainted with--" + +"I anticipate the disclosure," said Marcus. "Mr. Minford! And the poor, +dear child is my niece. Heaven be praised, she is found at last!" + + + +CHAPTER II. + +POSSIBLE LOVE. + +"You have guessed rightly. Miss Minford is your niece. The proofs will +be found in this packet. They are articles of clothing, taken from the +child as fast as new ones were supplied, to prevent its identification, +bearing the initials of Helen Wilkeson. I preserved them, with the vague +idea of benefiting her by them, some day. I have seen the child by +stealth a few times since I gave her to Mr. and Mrs. Minford, but never +called at their house. It was agreed between us that I should never make +myself known as the child's mother, and that they should never seek to +learn my name and history. I acted as seamstress in several families in +this city, until, about five years ago, I obtained an engagement in a +family in New Jersey, living in the very town where that unlucky +panorama was exhibited. It happened, as you know, that you and I rode in +the same car from New York, where I had been on a shopping excursion. I +recognized and was profoundly impressed with your resemblance to your +brother. Learning that you were connected with the panorama, I attended +the exhibition, that I might observe you more closely. There you were +arrested on the charge of murdering Mr. Minford--of which, I again say, +I always believed that you were totally innocent. You may remember that +a woman fainted away. I was she. The sudden recollection of those two +names--Wilkeson and Minford--in such a connection, was too much even for +my nerves. I read the trial with fearful interest, and rejoiced in your +release from the accusation. Providence at last seemed to point out the +way to make all the reparation for my crime. I should have done it +immediately after your acquittal, had I not seen by the papers that a +wealthy lady--Mrs. Crull--had given your niece a home in her family. I +postponed this act of justice from one week to another, until my failing +health warned me that it could not be put off with safety longer. I +thank Heaven that I have had strength and resolution to do it at last." + +"This act of atonement, madam," said Marcus, "entitles you to my respect +and sympathy. If you ever need a friend, I trust you will do me the +favor of calling on me." + +"I thank you," she replied; "but I have means enough to support me for +the remainder of my days, which are numbered. The family in which I +live, little knowing my true history, are very kind to me." + +The protracted conversation had not been closed too soon. A violent +cough seized upon the poor woman's frame, and shook it like a leaf. When +it had ceased, Marcus observed that her lips were streaked with blood. + +He begged to send for a doctor, but she would not have one, and rose to +take her leave. + +Marcus insisted, however, upon ordering a carriage for her conveyance to +the New Jersey Railroad Depot, and she at length consented to receive +that kindness from him. + +To the driver he whispered words of caution, and instructed him to take +the lady to a physician, in case she was ill on the journey; and, if so, +to report, immediately thereafter, to him. He then shook her hand +frankly, and begged her again to remember that he should always be +her friend. + +She smiled sadly, as she replied: "Again and again I thank you, sir; but +it is useless to accept your kind offers, for we are meeting for the +last time." + +The carriage was driven slowly away. + +The poor woman's word's were true; and Marcus never saw her more. + + + +CHAPTER III + +UNCLE AND NIECE. + +Marcus Wilkeson had seen Pet but twice since the inquest--once in Mrs. +Crull's carriage, and once afoot, on the opposite side of the street. He +was delicately conscious that she regarded him with distrust or +aversion; and, raising his hat politely to her, bowed, and passed on. He +had expressly enjoined upon Tiffles and Overtop, in the communications +which they had with her relative to the "Cosmopolitan Window Fastener," +not to mention his name. He shrank from appearing to force himself on +her notice. + +The discovery of her real parentage had modified Marcus's sensitiveness +somewhat. He was now no longer in the ridiculous position of a +middle-aged, hopeless lover, but was an uncle, with a charming niece +whom he could honorably love like a father. His first impulse, after the +departure of the mysterious woman, was to hurry around to Mrs. Crull's +house, unpack his bundle of proofs, and embrace the dear child with +avuncular affection. + +Upon him, glowing with this impulse, came the calm, deep Overtop, to +whom Marcus told the strange story. Overtop listened with lawyer-like +composure, and, when Marcus had finished, asked for the bundle. "The +story is likely enough," said he, "but a lawyer wants to know all +the proofs." + +So saying, he removed from the parcel the string which bound it, and +which, with the wrapping cloth, had become yellow with age, and brought +to view a baby's long frock, and a cap made of the finest materials, and +heavily fringed with lace, and a pair of tarnished golden morocco shoes +of fairy dimensions. Upon an edge of the dress were daintily wrought, in +needle work, the initials, H.W. A separate package contained extracts +from three daily papers, giving accounts of the "Mysterious +Disappearance of a Child," and an advertisement, signed Aurelius +Wilkeson, offering five hundred dollars for the recovery of his +daughter Helen, and describing the circumstances of the abduction so far +as they were known, and the articles of dress which the infant wore +at the time. + +"So far, so good," said Overtop; "but it now remains to identify the +original owner of these baby clothes with Miss Minford. We must find +some old friends or acquaintances of the late inventor, who can testify +that he adopted a child during the year 18--." + +Marcus, whose memory was tenacious of names, recollected that Mr. +Minford, in his few confidential moments, had told him of several +persons whom he had known in more prosperous days. + +With these memoranda to guide him, Overtop went resolutely to work, and, +in two days, found four old friends of Mr. and Mrs. Minford, who +remembered the very year when they adopted an infant child. It was the +same year that the daughter of Aurelius Wilkeson had disappeared. +Overtop, being a Notary Public, took the affidavits of these persons as +he went along. + +Here Overtop would have stopped, and left Marcus to break the important +news of his new-found relationship to the young lady. But Marcus, who +had a perfect horror of scenes, begged his friend to do this troublesome +piece of diplomacy for him, but promised, when it was done, to appear at +Mrs. Crull's in his new character of uncle. + +Overtop performed the difficult task with success. He found Pet not +altogether unprepared for the discovery. She recalled to mind several +conversations and significant glances between Mr. and Mrs. Minford (the +latter died in Pet's twelfth year), in which there was an evident +allusion to the mystery of her birth. She remembered how often persons +had expressed surprise that she did not resemble her supposed father or +mother in the least. She remembered that, on those occasions, Mrs. +Minford had been much disconcerted; and Mr. Minford, remarking that it +was a freak of nature, he presumed, had always seemed desirous of +changing the subject. She remembered that this strange want of +resemblance to either of her reputed parents had often been a puzzle to +her before Mrs. Minford's death. + +With regard to Lucy Anserhoff, and the causes which prompted her to the +abduction of the child. Overtop said nothing; because, among other +reasons, Marcus, true to his solemn pledge, had told him nothing. He +explained that the crime had been committed by a person who had formerly +been a servant in her father's family; and that she had made full +confession to her uncle, only on condition that her name should never be +mentioned to any human being. + +Mrs. Crull, who to a practical mind united a love of the romantic and +marvellous, accepted Overtop's proofs even more readily than Pet. She +said she had observed, at the inquest, a wonderful resemblance between +Mr. Wilkeson and her darling, especially in the nose and eyes. Overtop, +being appealed to to mark the likeness, took an oracular three-quarters +view of the young lady, and said that the word "niece" was written +on her face. + +"He's your uncle, my dear," said Mrs. Crull. "There a'n't no doubt o' +that. But don't forget that I'm your mother, now." + +Pet kissed Mrs. Crull, and placed her little hand confidingly in the +large, ineradicably red hand of her protectress. + +"Now that Marcus Wilkeson stands in the relation of uncle to you," said +Overtop, "there is no harm in telling you something." He then broke to +her the secret of her uncle's important aid in the affair of the +"Cosmopolitan Window Fastener"--the sole credit of which had always been +attributed by Pet and Mrs. Crull to Wesley Tiffles and Overtop, +agreeably to the wish of Marcus. + +"What a fool I've been," said Mrs. Crull, "to feel the least doubt about +this excellent man! It was very weak of me, I s'pose, Mr. Overtop; but I +don't mind tellin' you, that, after what had 'curred, I thought that Mr. +Wilkeson's quaintance with Pet had better be stopped. I take all the +'sponsibility of it. We must make it up, by thinkin' all the more +of him now." + +At the suggestion of Overtop, a servant, with Mrs. Crull's carriage, was +now sent for Marcus, and soon returned with him. + +When he entered the room, Pet rose, and walked toward him, half +hesitating. Her face was very pale, and her lips quivered. "My dear +uncle!" she said, and turned her sweet face up to be kissed. + +Marcus, to whom the probable character of his reception had been a +distressing subject of conjecture, was delighted at this frank, +affectionate greeting, and stooped and imprinted an uncle's kiss on the +young girl's brow. It was a pleasant way out of an embarrassment. + +The conflicting emotions of the hour were too much for Pet; and she +tottered to Mrs. Crull's arms, and wept for a few moments. + +"You are her uncle, Mr. Wilkeson," said Mrs. Crull, extending her red +right hand, while, with her left, she smoothed Pet's thick brown hair, +"but I am her mother." Mrs. Crull seized upon this early opportunity to +give notice that her rights as adopted parent were not to be abridged. + +"And happy she is in having such a mother, my dear Mrs. Crull," said +Marcus. + +A quick ring, as of a familiar visitor, was heard at the door. The +servant ushered in Bog. He was much changed since his last presentation +to the reader. Six months of worldly polish, of private tutoring, and of +a strong desire to appear well in the eyes of one he loved, had turned +the clumsy boy into the quiet but stylish young gentleman. He had given +up the bill-posting business, not because he was sick of it, or ashamed +of it, but because old Van Quintem loved his adopted son so well, that +he could not spare him from his side. Bog passed the greater portion of +every day with him, rambling through the streets, or riding to the +suburbs in the old family carriage, or reading the dear old books to +him. Bog read well now, and had learned to love those repositories of +wit and wisdom with almost as keen a relish as the venerable +white-headed listener. This was another bond of affection between the +old gentleman and himself. + +At Bog's entrance. Pet looked up, and showed the sparkling tears in her +eyes. A deep shade of anxiety passed over the young man's face, and he +looked around for an explanation. + +The prompt Overtop was ready to give it; and, in a few moments, Bog was +enlightened with the great discovery. + +"And Pet has been crying a little because she is so happy--that's all," +added Mrs. Crull. "Sit down here, Bog." + +Mrs. Crull made room for him on the other end of the sofa where she was +sitting--her left hand still smoothing the soft brown hair of her +adopted child. + +Bog took the seat, and smiled across the good lady's broad figure to +Pet, who smiled back at him again. + +This expressive exchange of glances was not lost on Marcus. He instantly +saw, what he had not divined before, that the devotion, the +self-sacrifice, the constant, unswerving love of the boy, had at last +sounded its echo in the bosom of the maiden. As he swiftly contrasted +the manly, athletic figure of the young man, with the delicate beauty of +his niece, he thought how well they were adapted to each other; and +wondered that he could ever have been so blind and conceited as to +suppose that a nervous old bachelor like himself could win the heart of +that fresh and youthful image of loveliness. And how thankful he then +was that he had never, by a single word, hinted at the mad love which he +once felt for her. + +He had no cause to blush now! + + + +BOOK FOURTEENTH. + +HAPPY DAYS. + + + +CHAPTER I. + +OWNERS OF THE BEAUTIFUL. + +The world and all its inhabitants had rolled round to another fragrant +spring. The buds were bursting in city parks and gardens, and birds +twittered in the dusty air. Every happy heart said to itself, "This +green, and these opening roses, this music of the birds, this shining +day, this temperate breeze, are all mine, and made for me." + +There were two young persons, one sweet morning in May, who experienced +a delightful sense of that universal proprietorship of the Beautiful. +They were a couple who appeared to be expressly made for each other; for +the young man was tall and broad chested, the young woman short, and +delicately formed; his eyes were black, hers blue; he was calm, +resolute, deliberate in every movement, she quick and impulsive. There +never was a clearer case of mutual fitness by virtue of entire +dissimilarity. + +Any one could see that they loved each other, and that, if they were not +married, they were engaged--for her little hand was entwined most +trustingly about his muscular arm, and she leaned toward him with that +gentle inclination which seems to be a magnetism of the heart. + +"Are you happy, my own Pet?" asked the young man, looking proudly down +at the beautiful face beside him. + +"Happy! dear Bog--for I _will_ always call you Bog. You know I am!" Her +blue eyes filled with tears. + +If excess of happiness had not choked her voice, she would have asked +Bog if he thought she could be other than perfectly happy in the love of +her adopted mother, in the love of her dear uncle--who was at once a +father and brother in his tender solicitudes--in the love of that +darling old gentleman, Myndert Van Quintem, and in one other love, which +it was not necessary to mention. + +But Bog knew that she was supremely happy, and he needed no such +elaborate answer. He also knew that he possessed the first, fresh, and +only love that she had ever cherished. All the events in connection with +her Greenpoint adventure, both before and after it, proved that she had +never loved young Van Quintem, and that her sentiments toward him were +only those of gratitude for his supposed saving of her life, and an +innocent, childlike confidence in his good intentions. + +The lovers sauntered down the street slowly, as if they would protract +the walk. Not another word was said. Passing a garden full of roses, Bog +reached through the fence, and plucked a full-blown white one and handed +it to Pet. She eagerly took it, and pinned it to the bosom of her dress. + +"Here we are, dearest; and I am almost ashamed to show myself to uncle, +for I am such a stranger," said Bog, breaking the silence, as they stood +at the foot of the memorable bell tower. "Hallo, Uncle Ith!" he shouted, +looking upward. + +The old gentleman thrust his white head out of an open window at the +top, and said, "All right. Come up." + +The door at the foot of the tower was open, and the young couple +proceeded to comply with the invitation. Bog led the way, and gently +dragged Pet from step to step, with much laughter on his part, and many +charming little feminine screams on her party until the trap door was +reached. Uncle Ith had combed his hair with his five fingers, retied +his old black cravat, and put on his coat, to receive them. He smiled +through the trap door, as they came in sight, and said, "Be very careful +of the young lady, Bog. Mind, now, how the young lady steps." + +Bog jumped through the trap door into the cupola. Then he lowered a hand +to Pet, and Uncle Ith lent her the same assistance, and the two raised +the precious burden to a place of safety. Uncle Ith, after he had been +introduced to Pet, proudly, by his nephew, looked at her for a moment in +silent admiration. He had never seen her before, but he knew her well +from Bog's descriptions (hurriedly communicated by Bog when they had met +in the street), and said to himself that the boy had done no more than +justice to her rare beauty. + +Then Uncle Ith looked at his nephew. "Ah, Bog," said he, shaking his +head at him, "what changes Time does make! It seems only a few days ago +that you was a little scrub of a chap, runnin' 'round town and pickin' +up your livin'. And a very good and honest livin' you picked up, too. +Now, here you are, a nicely dressed, tall, handsome young man, with a +snug little fortun' all of your own earnin', not to mention your bein' +the adopted son of that splendid old gentleman, Myndert Van Quintem. +And, last and best, you are goin' to be married to this dear young lady +to-morrer." + +Pet blushed; and Bog said, "That is why we are here to-day, dear uncle. +We must have you at the wedding." + +Uncle Ith faltered. "Me at Mr. Van Quintem's! I should feel like a fish +out o' water." He said nothing about the antiquated blue coat with brass +buttons, the short, black trousers, and the figured satin vest, hanging +up in a closet at home; but he thought of them, and what a stiff figure +he would cut in them. + +"But you must come, Uncle Ith!" said Pet, with her sweetest smile. "I +ask it as a particular favor." + +"You are my only living relative, you know, uncle," added Bog. + +"We should not be happy, if you were away," said Pet, placing her hand +confidingly on the old man's shoulder. Young persons always took to the +good old man in this spontaneous way. + +The entreaties of the couple, and the continual iteration of that name +by which he loved to be called--"Uncle Ith"--finally overcame his +objections. He reconciled himself to the prospect of the blue coat, +short trousers, and gaudy vest, and solemnly promised to attend +the wedding. + +This important matter having been settled, Uncle Ith pointed out to Pet +all the interesting objects to be seen from the tower, and adjusted the +spyglass for her, and gave her near views of Governor's Island, the +Palisades, and other remote objects. He also explained to her the +process of striking the bell by means of the long iron lever, and told +her that, if she would wait there long enough, she could hear how the +big chap sounded ten feet away. Pet put her hands to her ears, in +anticipation of the stunning noise, and laughingly said that she didn't +think she would wait long. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE LAST OF A MYSTERY. + +After Pet had looked at all the objects of interest visible from the +bell tower--Uncle Ith pointing them out with the pride of an owner--Bog +called Pet aside, and said, "Now, Uncle Ith, I have something to show +her that I used to think most interesting of all." + +Pet rested her hand upon his arm, and gazed through the southeastern +window, in the direction indicated by Bog's forefinger. + +"Right there," said he, "midway between those two tall chimneys, and a +trifle south of the line of that steeple--the last two windows in the +upper story of that old house--do you see them?" + +Pet looked along his outstretched arm, to get the precise direction, +and then said, hurriedly, "It is my old home." + +The sight of those familiar windows, in which the calico curtains still +hung, recalled the horrid vision of that dreadful night. Pet turned +pale, and shuddered. "Let us look elsewhere, Bog," said she. + +"I beg your pardon, dearest; but I wanted to tell you how many hours I +had spent in this cupola, day and night, gazing at those two windows, +and feeling, oh, so happy! if I could but catch a glimpse of you or your +shadow. But I never told Uncle Ith about it." + +Uncle Ith had not overheard this conversation, but he had followed with +his eyes the direction pointed out by Bog. As the young couple stepped +back from the window, he said: + +"I see some strange sights occasionally, my children" (he was fond of +calling young people his children), "I can tell you. There are a couple +of windows, in the upper story of that old brick house, between the two +big chimneys, that used to interest me some." + +"We see them," said Bog and Pet. + +"About five years back, I began to notice lights burnin' in that room, +long after all other lights, except the street lamps, was put out. Of +course, this attracted my attention, and I used to feel a queer kind of +pleasure in looking into the room with my spyglass, and wonderin' what +was goin' on there. The curtains were usually drawn over the lower +sashes; but, this tower bein' fifty or sixty feet higher than the house, +I could look over the top of the curtains, and see somethin'. An old +man, tall and slim, and a young girl, 'peared to be the only folks that +lived there. Are you sick, young lady?" said he, observing that Pet +looked pale. + +"Oh, no; I am not sick--only a little fatigued." + +"What a brute I was, not to offer you a chair! Now do sit down, young +lady." + +Pet did so, and Uncle Ith resumed: + +"The old gentleman was a machinist, I s'pose, for I used to see his +shadow on the wall, goin' through the motions of filin', sawin', and +hammerin', though I could never guess what he was workin' on. I have +known him sometimes to be at this queer business till daylight. For +three years the strange old gentleman never missed a night at his work. +I fear you are not quite well, young lady. Take a glass of water." + +Pet sipped from the proffered glass, and declared that she was much +better now, + +"One night, about two years ago, I took a look into this room with my +spyglass. I generally didn't do it until three or four o'clock in the +mornin', when all the other lights in the neighborhood was out. But, on +that partickler night, about eleven o'clock, I happened to observe that +one of the window curtains which covered the lower sash was left partly +undrawn. This had never occurred before, and so I brought my glass to +bear on the room at once. A tall gentleman, whose face I had often seen +movin' in the room over the top o' the curtain, was just in the act of +takin' his departure, which he did without shakin' hands. The old man +then went to his place at the other window, and tackled to his work +again. He had been at it about twenty minutes, when a bar, or rod, which +stuck up above the curtain, and was somehow connected with his work, +fell forward with a quick motion, as if it was jerked away. The old man +stooped, picked it up, and fixed it in its place again. His face, as +well as I could see through my glass in the night time, at that +distance, showed a wonderful amount of surprise and astonishment--at the +fall of this rod or bar, I s'pose. He then seemed to be filin' on +somethin', and afterward stooped down, as if to put it into some part of +the machine, or whatever it was. Jest at that minute the Post Office +struck, and I put down my glass, and turned my head toward the sound, to +catch the district. It struck seven. I jumped to the lever, and started +the old bell for seven, too. As I was strikin' the first round, my eyes +happened to rest on the strange window again. The old man was not +standin' there. The bar, or rod, had fallen out of its place again, I +s'posed, and I expected every minute to see the old man appear at the +window, and fix it again. But he didn't show himself any more that +night--and (which is the curious part of my story) I've never seen him +since. Whether he dropped dead from heart disease, I can't guess; but +certain I am that he is dead, for--" + +Poor Pet here exhibited such signs of faintness, that Bog, who had been +leaning against the edge of the window, gazing at the well-known window +with a strange fascination, sprang to her side, and instantly bathed her +brow with water from Uncle Ith's old pitcher, near at hand. This +restored her. "Be calm, dearest," said Bog. + +"What--what is the matter with the young lady?" asked Uncle Ith, in +great trepidation. "Shall I run for a doctor?" + +"No, Uncle Ith; no doctor. But we won't talk any more about this strange +room at present. It affects Miss Wilkeson's nerves." + +"The shock is past, dear Bog," said she, "and I can bear to hear +everything." + +"But you must promise to control yoursell, darling," said Bog, tenderly. + +"One question, Uncle Ith," said he. "How long a time were your eyes off +the room, after the first stroke for the Seventh District?" + +"Not more than three seconds." + +"And you are sure that there was nobody in the room?" + +"Certain; for I must have seen him enter, or go out." + +"Then, Uncle Ith, you have cleared up a great mystery." + +"What! What mystery?" + +"The death of Mr. Minford, the inventor, my old friend, and the +protector and guardian of Miss Wilkeson. He lived in that very room! He +was at work on a perpetual-motion machine! It was operated, somehow, by +weights! It started suddenly, when you saw that rod, or lever, fall to +the floor! Mr. Minford put the rod in its place, and made some little +improvement in the works! The machine started again at a moment when +your eyes were turned away! The rod fell with greater violence, struck +the inventor on the head, and killed him! That is the whole story; and +stupid we have all been not to have guessed it before." + +Nature furnished her own sweet relief to Pet's pent-up emotions. She +burst into tears. "Thank Heaven," said she, "it is all plain now!" + +Pet had not whispered it to Mrs. Crull, or Bog, or her uncle, or to any +other living soul, but the mystery of that awful night had hung over her +young mind like a pall, which in vain she had tried to lift. + +"What a blockhead I am," cried Uncle Ith, "not to take the papers! If I +had only taken the papers, now, I should ha' read all about that affair, +and might ha' guessed that the man who was s'posed to be murdered was +the man I had seen workin' in that room for three years. Then I should +ha' offered myself as a witness, and might ha' thrown some light on the +business. I'll 'scribe for a paper to-day, instead of trustin' to +hearsay for the news." + +"And a very neglectful fellow was I," said Bog, "not to have called here +and seen you, after that sad affair. But the truth was, that Pet went to +live with her best of friends, Mrs. Crull, and I had no longer a desire +to look at the room from your bell tower. In fact," Bog added, with a +smile, "the tower has not been quite as interesting for two years past +as it used to be. If I had come up here at any time since Mr. Minford's +death, I should probably have told you of the supposed murder, and +pointed out those windows to you. But--" + +"But you forgot all about your old uncle. Ha! I understand. Well, I +forgive you, seein' what there was to 'sturb your recollections." Uncle +Ith looked affectionately at Pet, who smiled and blushed through +her tears. + +The old man continued: "I 'member once when we met in the street, about +two years ago--" + +"I used to come around this way, you must know, Uncle Ith, in order to +meet you, two or three times a week." + +"I give you credit for that, Bog. You never disowned your poor old +uncle. But, as I was sayin', I 'member one time when we met, that you +told me somethin' about the murder of somebody of your 'quaintance. But +I didn't take no partickler interest in it, because I didn't know any of +the parties concerned. And, of course, I didn't dream that poor Mr. +Minford was the man I had seen workin' away there for three years. But +the main fault is mine, because I don't take the papers. I see, now, +that every man ought to take the papers--if only as a duty to his feller +man." Uncle Ith coughed, as one who utters a maxim of great moral depth. + +It was then agreed, at Bog's suggestion, that Uncle Ith, accompanied by +him, should call at Overtop's office, at early business hours (when +Uncle Ith was off duty), next day, and consult upon the best course to +be adopted to make his testimony public, and set the mystery of Mr. +Minford's death forever at rest. + +This having been done, Bog and Pet withdrew, and had hardly reached the +foot of the tower, when the musical thunder of the great bell announced +the constantly reiterated story of a fire in the Seventh--that most +combustible of all the city districts. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +LOVE CROWNED. + +Late on a fair afternoon of May, wedding guests began to assemble at old +Van Quintem's house. The old gentleman had been out of society many +years; and he improved this happy occasion to bring together his few +surviving relatives, and friends of his former business days. + +Heavy antique carriages rolled up to the door, with retired merchants +and their wives. The retired merchants were of a pattern not altogether +extinct in New York, who, at the ages of sixty years and upward, had +cleared their skirts of business, and settled down to a calm retrospect +of the past, and serene anticipations of the future. They were +evidently destined for a good old age, and had fat pocket books to help +them through. The proper place to look for this class of retired +merchants is on the tax books, and not in public assemblies, or among +the Directing Boards of benevolent institutions. They are good, +charitable souls; but, having got out of business, they desire to keep +out of it literally, leaving to a younger generation the task of +managing men and affairs. + +A more stylish vehicle deposited at the door a bachelor Bank President, +who was not only the old personal friend of the host, but his trusted +adviser in business affairs. The parlor of the ---- Bank was one of the +few places that old Van Quintem still visited in the bustling haunts of +the city; and to old Van Quintem's house the bachelor Bank President +made monthly pilgrimages of friendship. He was a handsome man of fifty, +with long white hair, which matched beautifully with his yet ruddy +cheeks, and a figure portly and full of strength. Nobody but himself +knew why so eligible a man remained a bachelor. + +In a humpbacked chaise drawn by an exemplary horse, there rode a fat and +pleasant old gentleman, who was uncomfortably swathed about the neck +with a white cravat. He crawled from his narrow coop with the nimbleness +of one who is on professional business. He was followed by his wife, a +little woman, who was the mother of ten children from two to twenty +years of age--just two years apart, and all strongly resembling their +father. This fat, pleasant old gentleman was the old-fashioned minister +of the old-fashioned church to which Mr. Van Quintem had belonged for +forty years. The little woman was his second wife; and there was a first +crop of children, who had been safely launched on the world for many +years, and were doing extremely well. + +The sole surviving relatives of old Van Quintem were three elderly +ladies, who, by some contagious fatality, remained unmarried. After +pining romantically over their doom for some time, they had settled down +to the conviction that they were much happier single than wedded, and +that they had escaped a great many dangers and disappointments--which +was unquestionably true. It was really pleasant for them to reflect that +the snug property which their father left them had not been squandered +upon designing husbands, but had been kept, improved, and added to, +until it was one of the prettiest estates on Staten Island. These ladies +were first cousins of old Van Quintem, and had an odd habit of staying +at home. They came to New York always on important business, which could +not be transacted by any one else, four times a year; and, on those +occasions, paid state visits to old Van Quintem, who reciprocated the +civility by calling on them, in a ceremonial way, twice every summer. + +Uncle Ith came on foot; and wore his old blue coat with brass buttons, +his flowered vest, and shining trousers so awkwardly, that people who +did not know him stared at him as at a strange spectacle. People--and +they were many--who did know him, stared at him with a still greater +surprise, wondering what extraordinary event in his history was about to +occur. Uncle Ith felt the additional embarrassment of fame, or +notoriety; for an affidavit, prepared by Overtop, giving the full +particulars of his observations from the bell tower, had been published +in all the city papers that morning. Before noon, Uncle Ith had been +waited on by six newspaper reporters, to whom he had furnished +particulars of his early life; and had promised to sit for his +photograph, for the use of an illustrated weekly, on the following day. +For all these reasons, added to his natural modesty, he pulled the door +bell with a feeling of profound regret, which was followed by a strange +desire to run around the corner. Before this desire could have been +gratified, the door was opened by a servant, and Uncle Ith was +ushered in. + +The anticipated awkwardness of an introduction to old Van Quintem, was +prevented by the approach of that gentleman before his name was +announced. + +"Welcome! welcome!" said he, shaking him by the hand with Dutch fervor. +"I know you from Bog's description, you see. Your statement in the +morning papers has lifted a load from several hearts, I can tell you. +Bog will be delighted to see you. He was beginning to be afraid you +would not come. Hallo, Bog!" said, the good old gentleman, shouting up +the stairs; "here is Uncle Ith." + +The bridegroom bounded down the stairs with boyish impetuosity, looking +so fine that Uncle Ith hardly knew him. It was difficult to realize that +the ungainly, ignorant boy of a few years back, had become this +nice-looking, graceful young gentleman. Thus readily does the rough +diamond of a good heart and brain, under the guiding hands of Ambition +and Love, take its polish from contact with the world and with society! + +"Dear Uncle Ith!" said the bridegroom. + +"Happy to see you, Uncle Ith!" exclaimed Fayette Overtop, who, with +Marcus Wilkeson and Matthew Maltboy, had been drawn from the second +floor at the mention of his name. + +Marcus had not before seen Uncle Ith, though he had been thinking of him +all day. The publication of the old man's affidavit was an entire +surprise to Marcus--Overtop and Maltboy having said nothing to him about +it. Other people read the document with interest, because it solved a +mystery. But to Marcus it wore the profounder, vastly greater importance +of clearing the last shadow of foul suspicion from his name. It may be +unnecessary to say, that it also gave rise to learned and interesting, +but profitless discussions, in several of the papers, upon the +possibilities of perpetual motion--which lasted until the explosion of a +steam boiler under the pavement turned every editor to the consideration +of steam boilers, their nature and habits, the rights of owners and of +the public, and the necessity of stringent legislation for the better +management of those subterranean powers of good and evil. + +Upon being introduced to Uncle Ith, Marcus gave the old man's hand a +warm pressure, but said nothing. But Uncle Ith saw in his eyes an +expression of the deepest gratitude, and he knew what it meant; for he +had read the report of the inquest at Overtop's office, and there +learned, for the first time, the unhappy connection of Marcus Wilkeson +with the Minford affair. + +Maltboy, who, being one of the appointed groomsmen of the day, was in +extraordinary spirits, was profuse in his congratulations to Uncle Ith, +and insisted, rather unnecessarily, upon introducing him to the retired +merchants and the bachelor Bank President. They had all read his +affidavit, and regarded him with undisguised interest. + +For a man who has always been a lamb in his shyness and +self-depreciation, to find himself suddenly transformed into a lion, is +a cause of no little embarrassment. Uncle Ith was so much flustered by +all these tokens of popularity, that he could not utter an articulate +word, but only mumble, and wipe his heated brow. He wished that the +usages of society would permit him to take off his coat, as he did in +the bell tower, and be comfortable. + +A few more guests arrived, mostly of the ancient order, and a little too +much of one sort to please a lover of variety. The advent of Mr. Frump, +with all his impulsive occidental peculiarities of character fresh upon +him, was a decided relief to the decorous company already assembled in +the parlors. In less than ten minutes, he was on terms of off-hand +friendship with everybody, and was telling strange stories of Western +adventure to a group of eager listeners. + +Old Van Quintem received all his guests with that simple cordiality +which leaves no doubt of a sincere welcome. The common remark was, "How +well you are looking, Mr. Van Quintem!" And it was very true. Few men at +seventy could show a figure so straight, cheeks so smooth, and an eye so +bright. The unavailing sorrow which tenanted his heart two years before, +had gradually disappeared. From the hour that his son fled abashed from +his presence, he had not seen or heard of him, and had at last come to +regard him as dead--though the old gentleman could not have given a good +reason for that singular belief, except that his son had been a +constant cause of sorrow and trouble to him when alive. He preferred to +think of the lost son not as the ripened villain, but as the innocent +child prattling upon its mother's knee. This mental picture filled a +select chamber of the old man's memory. But the affection and +reverential duty of a son had been supplied by the boy Bog; and, in the +virtuous character and filial love of that young man, he saw what the +innocent child might have grown to, had all his prayers and tears +been answered. + +When old Van Quintem's wishes were consulted with regard to the wedding, +he had but one favor to ask; and that was, that the ceremony might take +place at his house. It was a whimsical idea, he said, but he would like +to see his old home gay once more, as it used to be years ago. +"Besides," said he, "I am rheumatic, and might not be able to attend the +wedding, if held elsewhere." + +Mrs. Crull, when she first heard, from the lips of the blushing Pet, +that Bog had proposed and been accepted, immediately outlined the plan +of a wedding at her house, which should be something unprecedented in +point of magnificence. The plan took shape as she thought of it, and she +had already settled upon the number of invitations, and the other +principal arrangements, when old Van Quintem's wish was mentioned to +her. The sacrifice was a great one; and Mrs. Crull would make it only on +condition that she should superintend the preparations with the same +freedom as at her own house. Old Van Quintem consented to this, only +stipulating that he should pay all the bills; and, for over a week +before the wedding, Mrs. Crull, assisted by that most buxom and busy of +women, Mrs. Frump, had taken tyrannical possession of the dwelling, and +made such extraordinary transpositions of the carpets and pictures, and +other movable property, that old Van Quintem, on surveying the work of +renovation, hardly recognized the house as his own. The only apartment +that was not inwardly transformed by these female magicians was the +library. To that he clung, conscious that both his services and his +advice were of no value. + +The house was soon filled with guests--or rather appeared to be filled, +for the whole number invited and present was only forty. But forty +people, moving about uneasily, and expecting something, look like a +hundred or more. Among them were many whose only claim to an invitation +was their friendship for the host, or Mrs. Crull, or the bride, and not +any mental, moral, or physical excellence which entitles them to mention +in this history. + +There were two rooms on the second floor, upon which the interest of +loungers, male and female, was concentrated. + +In one waited the bridegroom, his groomsmen Overtop and Maltboy, Marcus +Wilkeson and Wesley Tiffles. They were a happy party, and not at all +frightened at the approaching nuptials. Bog--for such his friends always +did, should, and will call him--could not have been happier--far from +it!--if he had held a sceptre in each hand. Overtop was happy in the +contemplation of his marriage with that most sensible of girls, Miss +Pillbody, which was set down for the week following. The affair would +have come off six months before, but for Miss Pillbody's illness, +happening soon after her mother's death. In consequence of this illness, +her select school had been given up--never to be revived. Poor Overtop +did not know how much he loved her, until he saw how near he came to +losing her. She had completely recovered, was ruddy and pretty with new +health, and was Pet's first bridesmaid. Overtop thought pleasantly of +her, and combed back his intractable cowlick. Matthew Maltboy was happy +because he had taken a serious fancy to Miss Trapper, the second +bridesmaid, a charming but peculiar girl, and the particular juvenile +friend of Mrs. Frump. Matthew had met this young lady two or three +times, and had suffered sweetly from her black eyes. Marcus Wilkeson was +happy in his contented bachelorhood, in the happiness of his niece and +of all around him, and in the clearing up of the "Minford enigma." +Wesley Tiffles was happy because happiness was his constitutional +disposition, under all circumstances and in all weathers. The arrival of +Uncle Ith was the only event that had drawn this good-natured party from +their retreat; and those who watched for their reappearance were +disappointed. + +In the other room, the bride had been dressing for several hours, and +was still hard at it, under the immediate supervision of the +indefatigable Mrs. Crull, Mrs. Frump, and the two bridesmaids. Only the +favored few were admitted to this retreat of mysteries. But they were +kindly communicative. They brought back minute reports of the appearance +and condition of the bride elect, in the various stages of her +enrobement and ornamentation; and there was not a woman in the house who +did not, every ten minutes, have the image of Helen Wilkeson stamped on +her mind as accurately as the changeful phases of an eclipse on the +photographer's plate. + + * * * * * + +At the soft, calm, mystic, love-making, marrying twilight hour, the +bridal party took their stand near the southern end of the great double +parlor. The forty guests were grouped before them, an audience +without seats. + +Pet was pale, and leaned for support on Bog's arm. He stood firm, erect, +unblenching, with that instinct of physical strength which one feels +when the woman that he loves hangs confidingly on his arm. Fayette +Overtop, with his well-known dislike for conventionalism, was thinking +how tedious all that formality was, and how much more sensible to be +married by an alderman or justice of the peace, privately, in two +minutes. Miss Pillbody did not agree with her future husband on this +point, and was thinking, at that very moment, what a solemn thing +marriage was, and with what ceremonious deliberation it ought to be +entered upon. Matthew Maltboy had had great experience as a groomsman, +and he speculated with perfect composure on this important question: +Whether the gentle tremor of Miss Trapper's hand was caused altogether +by the fluttering novelty of her situation, or partly by the +love-enkindling contact of their interlocked elbows? + +As the six took their chosen positions, and gazed at a particular +pattern in the carpet, selected by them at a private rehearsal in the +morning, they were the subject of mental comment by the forty guests. +The women, looking at the costly dress of the bride, pronounced her +beautiful. The men, never noticing her dress, but observing her pale +face and heavy eyes, were not vividly impressed with her loveliness. Bog +was admired by all, and envied by none to whom his history was known. +The old ladies took a mild maternal interest in him, because he was an +orphan; and the young ladies thought extremely well of him, because he +was a strong, gallant, handsome fellow. Overtop was regarded with +curiosity, as the reputed hero of the Slapman scandal. Matthew Maltboy +was universally condemned as too fat, and, with that brief criticism, +was dismissed. Miss Pillbody was pronounced "a little proud," because +she stood straight, with shoulders thrown back, which was her usual +attitude. Miss Trapper was admitted to be a very modest and diffident +creature, because she had a slight stoop in the back, which was chronic. + +Old Van Quintem stood near the wedding party, and recalled, with fond +minuteness, the hour when one, about the same age as Pet, and resembling +her in the freshness of her youthful beauty, had crowned him with +happiness. Mrs. Crull was close by, and looked at the bride, whom she +had dressed, with the pride of an artist. Mrs. Frump stood next to her, +and shared in the same sentiments. Marcus Wilkeson's appointed place was +somewhere in the neighborhood of the bride; but he shrank away to the +side of Uncle Ith, who also obstinately clung to the other end of +the room. + +The venerable clergyman stepped into the centre of the small open space +which had been left in front of the bridal party, and uttered a cough, +at which signal the buzz of conversation ceased. + +The ceremony was very brief and simple--according to the ritual of the +Dutch Church--and people were married by it before they knew it. The +minister had received, in advance, a fee of unprecedented size, which +was, at that moment, lying at the bottom of his wife's pocket, and which +that good woman had already spent, in imagination, on a new bonnet for +herself, a new hat for the minister, dresses for the girls, books for +the boys, and playthings for the baby. If the dimensions of the fee had +any effect whatever on the mind of the excellent minister, that effect +was to hurry up the ceremony, and make the two one with the least +possible delay. + +At last the magical, binding words were spoken; and the husband, +stooping proudly to the not-averted face of his blushing wife, gave her +the first kiss. And at the same instant a little band of musicians, with +chosen instruments, secretly stationed in the library, of which the door +was now thrown open, struck up Mendelssohn's divine Wedding March. As +its jubilant notes floated through the house, the round of +congratulations commenced. + +Blest Pet! What had she ever done--she thought, so far as giddy +happiness would allow her to think--to merit all these kisses (of which +her two shy uncles bestowed two), these benedictions, these tears, and, +above all, the possession of this noble heart by her side, henceforth to +be all her own? The exultant peals of the Wedding March--that highest +expression of triumphal love--but faintly interpreted her joy. + +The bridegroom received his full share of the universal good wishes. +Everybody was pleased with his behavior; and the bachelor Bank +President, and other members of the old school of gentlemen, pronounced +him a glorious young fellow, a refreshing contrast to the puny, +cadaverous youth of the day, and altogether worthy to have flourished +thirty years ago. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were not neglected +either; and both Miss Pillbody and Miss Trapper thought that the next +best thing to getting married, was to assist others in the operation. + +As for old Van Quintem, after kissing the bride, and calling Bog his +son, and giving both of them his blessing, he had retired from the room +to hide the tears of happiness which not even seventy years of this +hardening world could keep from his eyes. + +For the second time in five minutes, Amos Frump approached Matthew +Maltboy, and shook hands with him. "Fat and jolly as ever," said he. + +From the first adjective Matthew recoiled; though he tried to justify +the propriety of the second by a laugh. + +"And I like you--hang me if I don't!" said Mr. Frump, with California +bluntness, "_because_ you're fat and jolly. But here's wifey, and I know +she wants to say somethin' to you." + +"So I do," said Mrs. Frump. "My head was so full of business to-day, +that I had quite forgotten it. But you must step aside with me," she +added, looking significantly at Miss Trapper. + +Matthew stepped aside; and she placed her lips to his ear, and +whispered, "What do you think of Miss Trapper?" + +"A very pretty girl," said Matthew. + +"So she is; and one of the best-hearted creatures that ever lived. A +little singular in one respect, perhaps." + +"What is that?" + +"Oh! she speaks out her mind--that's all. But then you always know where +to find her." + +"She has not spoken any of it to me, at all events," said Matthew. "I +can't get her to talk." + +"That's because she's modest. Cultivate her, and you'll find her a +splendid girl. Between you and me, I have recommended you to her, and, +depend upon it, she will meet you halfway." + +"All right," whispered Matthew, gratefully. + +Here the full voice of old Van Quintem announced dinner, for which the +elderly ladies had been demurely waiting for some time. Two by two the +bridal party and the guests marched to the banquet, spread in the long, +broad dining room, which was one of the best features of this sturdy, +old-fashioned house. + +What the bill of fare was; what tunes the band played in the library; +what kind things were said to the bride and bridegroom; what compliments +were breathed into young female ears, and not rebuked; what vows of love +were exchanged; what courteous remarks of the old school were made by +the bachelor Bank President; what ancient jokes were passed off by the +wits of the party as new; what abominable conundrums were then and there +honestly invented; what overwhelming confusion Uncle Ith experienced, +when he found himself seated next to a lady who talked loud at him, and +how he wished himself at home, one hundred feet from the ground; what +complete happiness was felt and expressed by everybody, but especially +by old Van Quintem and Marcus Wilkeson; what improbable stories were +told by Mr. Frump; what philosophical sayings uttered on the spur of the +moment by Fayette Overtop; what slightly impertinent but always amiable +remarks advanced by Wesley Tiffles;--all this might be imagined, with a +slight mental effort; but not so Matthew Maltboy's new misfortune. + +Profiting by Mrs. Frump's friendly suggestion, Matthew had exhausted all +his resources of conversation in an effort to interest Miss Trapper. She +had listened, and had returned faultlessly proper replies, and had +conducted herself so much like all the other young women that Matthew +had ever met, that he was puzzled to guess in what respect her +singularity consisted. He longed to see a piece of that mind, which, +according to Mrs. Frump, she was in the habit of exhibiting to people. +He was soon gratified. + +Miss Trapper had remarked, that, in a few days, she was going to visit +her friends in Chemung County, and would probably remain there three +months. It struck Matthew as the right time to make a point. + +"Then I shall not see you, Miss Trapper, during all that time!" he said, +with a sigh. + +Miss Trapper levelled a sharp glance at him, and said, "I suppose not." + +The remark was tartly made; but Matthew had noticed that she habitually +spoke quick and short. + +"Our acquaintance has thus far been very pleasant, Miss Trapper; at +least on my side," whispered Matthew. "Must it stop here?" + +To which Miss Trapper replied, "I don't know." + +Though the observation was not encouraging, it was, on the other hand, +not entirely forbidding. + +"Since we are to be separated for three months, Miss Trapper, might I +solicit the great privilege of corresponding with you occasionally?" + +Miss Trapper's thin lips expelled two words, like shot out of a gun: +"What for?" + +"What for?" echoed the amazed Matthew. "Why--for the pleasure of +exchanging our ideas, you know." + +"That would be a bore," said Miss Trapper. + +"I didn't understand you," said Matthew, distrusting his ears. + +"I said it would be a bore--a bore!" returned Miss Trapper, with painful +distinctness. "I hate letter writing." + +"Oh! ah! Do you?" said Matthew, feebly. "Perhaps you would like some +pickled cauliflower, Miss Trapper?" + +"Thank you." + +Matthew handed the pickled cauliflower to her, and held his tongue, +satisfied with what he had seen of Miss Trapper's singularity, and not +at all anxious to receive a larger piece of her mind. + +"I am doomed to be a bachelor," thought Matthew, with a suppressed +groan. But Hope, which attends upon fat and lean men alike, whispered in +his mind's ear, "Why not marry a woman as fat as yourself?" + +"A capital idea!" thought Matthew "and if there's no other way to find +one, I'll advertise for her." + +Dinner was protracted to a length that seemed tedious to all but the +representatives of the old school. When it did come to an end, the party +adjourned to the parlors, where a reasonable time was devoted to +conversation and flirtation. At length the musicians, having taken their +wedding dinner in their apartment, and drank full bumpers (which, +somehow, never interfere with the accuracy of musical performances) to +the health of the happy pair, struck up a quadrille, which was at once +interpreted by the younger people as a signal for dancing. Two sets were +instantly formed, and rattled through with. The Lancers followed, and +was liked so much that the musicians were called upon to repeat it three +times. The sets had now increased to four, filling the two parlors, and +crowding the elderly people to the wall or the hallway. Then, luckily, +old Van Quintem bethought himself of the old-fashioned contra-dance, as +a contrivance for bringing his contemporaries on their legs. By an +extraordinary piece of good fortune, the musicians had learned it, and +played it at a silver wedding the week previous. + +As the familiar notes, not heard for years, saluted the ears of the +bachelor Bank President, he showed the animation of an old war-horse at +the sound of the trumpet. "Now is our time," said he. + +Moved by common impulse, the members of a past generation rose, and took +their places. Old Van Quintem, temporarily forgetting his rheumatism, +led off, escorting Mrs. Crull. The bachelor Bank President took charge +of a widow, in whose breast he had revived feelings that flourished +twenty years before. The retired merchants brought each other's wives +upon the floor. Even Uncle Ith came out from his seclusion in a corner, +where he had been listening to the sound of his own fire bell, rung by +other hands that night, and felt that here, at least, he should make no +blunders. The tall, talkative lady, from whom there seemed to be no +escape, had fastened on him as a partner. The good clergyman was the +only old or middle-aged gentleman who did not take his place in the set, +and he looked on and laughed. + +The dance commenced, slow at first, then gradually faster. The younger +people, when they came to understand the simple movement, fell into the +chain couple after couple, until it extended into the hallway, and +through it into the parlors again. Everybody was drawn in now, old and +young, married and unmarried, the minister and his wife only excepted, +and they marked the measure with their heels. Round and round, and +faster and faster, went the chain, with its constantly changing links. +The musicians, playing the same strains over and over again, became +frenzied by the repetition, and doubled the time without knowing it. +Legs that had entered slow and stately upon the interminable maze, +became, without the knowledge or consent of their owners, nimble and +gymnastics. + +It was a delightful peculiarity of this wonderful dance, that couples +could withdraw without breaking up the figure. The bride and groom, +acting upon this privilege, slipped out of the flying circle, and +sought, unaccompanied, the solitude of the vine-covered piazza behind +the house, there to commune for a moment upon their new-found happiness. + + * * * * * + +The night was calm. A faint breeze from the south stirred up secret +odors in the hearts of dew-covered flowers, and musically sighed through +the leaves and vines. The heavens were dark, but unclouded; and, as the +lips of the lovers met in one clinging kiss, the host of stars beamed +down upon them, and proclaimed an ETERNITY OF LOVE. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +FIVE YEARS. + +Five years are an eventful space in the history of blocks, as of men. +Within that period, they may be burnt down, blown down, or torn down to +make room for grander blocks. In quick-growing American cities, the +average life of blocks is less than that of the human generation that +tenants them. First wood, then brick, then brownstone or marble--these +are the successive forms of block life, before anything like stability +is reached. Marble is the only real type of the permanent in American +architecture. Nobody pulls down marble. + +But five years had made little change in the exterior of our block. It +was situated at a point in the city from which the ebb tide of Fashion +was slowly receding, and which the flood tide of Trade had not yet +touched. There was not a new house on the block, or an old one +materially altered. A little paint, and a diligent application of broom +and Croton water, had kept the block quite fresh and jaunty. On the +south side there were some slight external modifications, in the shape +of oblong black signs, fastened near basement doors, and bearing names +of doctors. Ten of these signs had been added to the south side within +five years. There were only two houses upon that side, now, to which you +could come amiss in pursuit of medical advice. + +One of these was old Van Quintem's. Five years had passed over the old +house and the old man lightly (both had been made to last, and were well +taken care of), and gave to them only a mellower and riper look. The old +man's long white hair had not commenced falling out; and his cheeks +still bloomed with a ruddiness that does not belong to second childhood. +He could still read his dear old books--and carefully chosen new +ones--without spectacles; though he often preferred to hear them read in +a soft, sweet tone, by a dear girl whom he always called Pet, and who +would sit for hours at the old man's feet, giving to the noble thoughts +of poet, novelist, or philosopher, the added charm of a sympathetic +voice. At such times, a fine fellow, who was still known as Bog, would +look on and listen, with rapt attention, and the happiest smile on his +face. Sometimes these tranquil scenes would be pleasantly broken in +upon, and the meaning of the author profitably obscured, by the entrance +of a certain little Helen, whom the old man would kiss, and call +"Grandpop's sugarp'um," and "Sweety peety." Bog would then catch it up, +and toss it aloft, all whirling with curls, laces, and blue ribbons, and +would say, "Cud-je-wod-je now, cud-je-wod-je now, cud-je-wod-je now," at +each tossing; and the child, with the marvellous instinct of eighteen +months, would understand this mysterious dialect, and then would smile +through large blue eyes that looked like its mother's. + +To this house, Myndert Van Quintem, jr., had never returned; and no +authentic intelligence of him had ever come. Fayette Overtop, Esq., +while on a professional visit to St. Paul, Minnesota, to settle a large +land claim, had heard of a notorious Van Benton, who had kept a gambling +house there several years, and was finally killed by a spendthrift whom +he had cleaned out of his last cent one night. The best description +which he could get of this man, tallied precisely with that of Myndert +Van Quintem, jr. But Overtop, with that discretion which was continually +enlarging his circle of paying practice, said nothing of this to the old +gentleman. Among the reports that Overtop had heard of this Van Benton, +was one, that he had forged his father's signature to large amounts in +New York city, and had fled to the West, and there changed his name to +avoid the arrest and punishment which his father had promised him. Had +the old gentleman been informed of this circumstance, he would at once +have identified Van Benton as his son; for it was known to him alone, +that young Myndert had repeatedly forged his name (evidences of which +had been found in the desk where Marcus Wilkeson had often seen the +young man busily writing--evidences which the forger had accidentally +omitted to burn), and that he had been induced to leave the city through +fear that his father would give him up to justice at last. On the +memorable night in the milliner's shop in Greenpoint, the young +profligate had seen that his father was terribly in earnest, and had +quailed in the presence of that outraged and indignant soul. + +The second house not ornamented by a doctor's sign, on the south side of +the block, was the old tenement building of which Mr. Minford had +occupied the upper story, five years before. The tenants had all been +changed two or three times; but the "Minford tragedy" was still a +current legend among them. Murders, or strange homicides, are fixtures +of houses where they occur. Nothing obliterates their memory but tearing +down the houses, and building anew--which is the course of treatment +that the proprietor was proposing to himself, in consequence of the +steady depreciation of rents. Pet never passed that house, or dared to +look at it even from a distance. + +Bachelors' Hall, on the north side of the block, was still occupied by +the three original tenants; and they liked it so well, that they had +bought it, and owned it on the Tontine plan--viz., that, upon the death +of one of the owners, his share shall go to the survivors. + +Five years had improved Marcus Wilkeson's relish for a good book, an +after-dinner pipe, and a chat with a friend. It was plain to all his +friends--even to those who were happiest in their wedded lives--that +Marcus was a great deal better off single than married. His was the +genial monkish nature, which thrives best in celibacy. + +Every afternoon Marcus visited his white-haired neighbor opposite, and +never forgot to take along a toy, or some candy, for his grandniece +Helen. He brought these offerings in lieu of baby talk, which he could +never master. This fact pointed him out, beyond all question, as a +predestined old bachelor. + +The general supervision of the house was intrusted to Mrs. Overtop; and +most sensibly did she manage it. Knowing that a bar of cast iron is more +easily bent than the set habits of men of twenty-five and upward, she +attempted no changes in the domestic regulations of the establishment. +The three friends found that they had not only all of their old freedom, +but a charming female voice to accompany them in their songs, and on the +piano or guitar, and a capital fourth hand at whist, and a beautiful +reader, and an ever-cheerful companion. "If I could find such a wife, +now!" Marcus and Maltboy would say. "But you can't," Overtop would +answer. "There's not another like her in this world." There was a +little Fayette Overtop, jr., two years old, a great pet of the +bachelors, and the far-off husband of little Helen, on the other side of +the block. + +Matthew Maltboy weighed two hundred and twenty pounds. As associate +counsel of Overtop, he made an imposing show in court, which was not +fully borne out by his legal attainments. He was always talking of +matrimonial intentions--a sure sign that a man never will be married. +His last rebuff from Miss Trapper (now the wife of a wealthy tanner and +currier) had taught him to keep his flirtations within narrower limits; +but he openly professed, and probably believed, that, when he really +wanted to marry--without joking, you know--he could take his pick from +the wide and varied ranges of female society. He smoked incessantly like +a martyr, to reduce his flesh, but no adipose matter ever vanished in +that cloud of sacrifice! + +Mash, the cook, bestowed her honest hand and maiden heart upon Patching, +the artist, who had first seen her at the station house, and there +contracted an artistic admiration of her face and figure. She would have +preferred a pirate; but Patching's enormous hat gave him a freebooterish +appearance, which went far to reconcile her to him. She was really a +pretty woman--much handsomer than some of the shadowy beauties Patching +was wont to put on canvas--and she made him a good and faithful +wife--and cooked better dinners for him, at a small expense, than he had +ever eaten before--and sent him out into the world clean and tidy every +morning. Patching affected to be ashamed of his wife, and snubbed her +sometimes in the presence of other people. But everybody who knew the +couple, saw that he had the best of the bargain. Mrs. Patching still +took her favorite weekly, and cried over the stories as copiously +as ever. + +Mrs. Crull continued to be the dearest and best friend of Pet and Mrs. +Overtop; and little Helen and little Fayette would never know the great +debt of gratitude that they owed to that excellent lady. Whenever she +called on Mrs. Overtop, she always began to be extremely circumspect in +her pronunciation and grammar, from force of habit; but soon relapsed +into those old errors which, happily, were of the head, and not of the +heart. Mrs. Crull made no mistakes in her affections. She was in +mourning for Mr. Crull, and truly vowed that she would never +marry again. + +Mrs. Slapman had ceased to live on the block. Mr. Slapman had basely +defeated the beneficent decree of the law, by turning his property into +ready cash, and sailing for Europe. This deprived Mrs. S. of her alimony +the second year after their separation, and compelled her to give up +housekeeping, and the pursuit of TRUTH, in New York. She is now living +among a small colony of Jigbees, in an obscure village of Connecticut, +the pride of her family, the envy of the neighbors, and the idol of two +local poets and of the professor of a High School in an adjoining town, +who has learned her history, and is now patiently waiting for Slapman to +die before offering her his hand in marriage. + +Uncle Ith rang the great bell in the high tower for a number of years, +with perfect satisfaction to himself and to the firemen. He took a +paper, and he read it, and he found its political arguments so powerful, +and so interesting, that he adopted them as his own--as many another man +of greater pretensions has done--and he got into the bad habit of +talking politics in a small way. It happened, not long after, that there +was an election for mayor; and a mayor was chosen who held to a variety +of politics quite the opposite of that which was so ably inculcated in +Uncle Ith's favorite journal. About a month later, Uncle Ith turned to +the political column of his paper, and there read that he had been +turned out of office, and that one Schimmerfliming--a German politician +of the ----th Ward, who had been of great service in compassing the +election of the new mayor--had been appointed in his place. The fact +was, that Uncle Ith was highly acceptable to all parties as a no-party +man. But, when he turned politician, he made himself amenable to the +harsh laws of political warfare, and became (as his paper phrased it) +"the hoary-headed victim of the unprincipled tyrant who, with the +cunning of the serpent and the vindictive ferocity of the hyena, weaves +his spider's web of mischief in his dark corner of the City Hall." Uncle +Ith retired to private life with a snug property, patiently saved up and +thoughtfully invested. But, as Adam went on eating apples, +notwithstanding the disaster which had come to him from that species of +fruit, so Uncle Ith took his newspaper, and paid for it punctually, and +devoured it daily to the last. + +While Uncle Ith fell by politics, Coroner Bullfast rose by it. A +judicious distribution of money and liquors, a notoriety for street +fights, a singular talent for profanity, and an unstinted adulation of +the basest classes of the community, won for him, in succession, some of +the best prizes of the Municipal lottery. He has his small, sunken eyes +now fixed on one of the highest offices of the State; and it will take a +strong combination to defeat a candidate backed by such powerful +agencies and interests. + +Mr. and Mrs. Frump lived happily on their country property. Mr. Frump +tried experiments in blackberry raising, which proved a success, and +was, at last accounts, concentrating his talents on the development of a +new strawberry seedling. Whenever he went to town, he made a point of +carrying back Matthew Maltboy, for whom his regard was inexplicably +strong; and nothing gave him greater pleasure than to see his wife, +gracefully mounted on the spirited filly, and Matthew, heavily astride +of the sober gray, starting off for a morning's ride, while he stayed at +home to push on the seedling. + +When Wesley Tiffles had spent ten thousand dollars in elegant leisure, +he arrived at the noble determination to "salt down," as he called it, +the remaining ten thousand dollars, in ten different savings banks. He +distributed it thus, in order that the failure of one of the banks might +not ruin him. The interest of this money, drawn half-yearly, furnished +him with a basis for operations of a character requiring genius, pens, +ink, and paper, rather than ready cash. Whenever Tiffles's resources ran +short, as they did occasionally, he always borrowed, and paid on the +next interest day. In this policy he was inflexible; and he flattered +himself on the sternness of his self-denial. + +Among the schemes which failed to receive the cordial approbation of +capitalists, were the following: "A process for extracting green paint +from green leaves;" ditto for "making nutritious food from the direct +combination of earth, air, and water;" a plan (submitted to the +unappreciating Government of Naples) to "extinguish the volcano of +Vesuvius, by pumping water from the Bay into the crater, in +consideration of the sum of one million florins, and a monopoly of +working the extinct volcano for lava." + +Wesley Tiffles, profiting, at a late day, by the lesson of the +"Cosmopolitan Window Fastener," finally invented and patented a striking +improvement in an apple-paring machine, and, at last accounts, was +clenching a good bargain for the sale of his invention. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUND THE BLOCK*** + + +******* This file should be named 12243.txt or 12243.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/2/4/12243 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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