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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12213 ***
+
+ODD CRAFT
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+
+ODD CHARGES
+
+Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the Cauliflower, the stranger
+had been eating and drinking for some time, apparently unconscious of the
+presence of the withered ancient who, huddled up in that corner of the
+settle which was nearer to the fire, fidgeted restlessly with an empty
+mug and blew with pathetic insistence through a churchwarden pipe which
+had long been cold.  The stranger finished his meal with a sigh of
+content and then, rising from his chair, crossed over to the settle and,
+placing his mug on the time-worn table before him, began to fill his
+pipe.
+
+[Illustration: "Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the
+Cauliflower."]
+
+The old man took a spill from the table and, holding it with trembling
+fingers to the blaze, gave him a light.  The other thanked him, and then,
+leaning back in his corner of the settle, watched the smoke of his pipe
+through half-closed eyes, and assented drowsily to the old man's remarks
+upon the weather.
+
+"Bad time o' the year for going about," said the latter, "though I s'pose
+if you can eat and drink as much as you want it don't matter.  I s'pose
+you mightn't be a conjurer from London, sir?"
+
+The traveller shook his head.
+
+"I was 'oping you might be," said the old man.  The other manifested no
+curiosity.
+
+"If you 'ad been," said the old man, with a sigh, "I should ha' asked you
+to ha' done something useful.  Gin'rally speaking, conjurers do things
+that are no use to anyone; wot I should like to see a conjurer do would
+be to make this 'ere empty mug full o' beer and this empty pipe full o'
+shag tobacco.  That's wot I should ha' made bold to ask you to do if
+you'd been one."
+
+The traveller sighed, and, taking his short briar pipe from his mouth by
+the bowl, rapped three times upon the table with it.  In a very short
+time a mug of ale and a paper cylinder of shag appeared on the table
+before the old man.
+
+"Wot put me in mind o' your being a conjurer," said the latter, filling
+his pipe after a satisfying draught from the mug, "is that you're
+uncommon like one that come to Claybury some time back and give a
+performance in this very room where we're now a-sitting.  So far as
+looks go, you might be his brother."
+
+The traveller said that he never had a brother.
+
+We didn't know 'e was a conjurer at fust, said the old man.  He 'ad come
+down for Wickham Fair and, being a day or two before 'and, 'e was going
+to different villages round about to give performances.  He came into the
+bar 'ere and ordered a mug o' beer, and while 'e was a-drinking of it
+stood talking about the weather.  Then 'e asked Bill Chambers to excuse
+'im for taking the liberty, and, putting his 'and to Bill's mug, took out
+a live frog.  Bill was a very partikler man about wot 'e drunk, and I
+thought he'd ha' had a fit.  He went on at Smith, the landlord, something
+shocking, and at last, for the sake o' peace and quietness, Smith gave
+'im another pint to make up for it.
+
+[Illustration: "Putting his 'and to Bill's mug, he took out a live
+frog."]
+
+"It must ha' been asleep in the mug," he ses.
+
+Bill said that 'e thought 'e knew who must ha' been asleep, and was just
+going to take a drink, when the conjurer asked 'im to excuse 'im agin.
+Bill put down the mug in a 'urry, and the conjurer put his 'and to the
+mug and took out a dead mouse.  It would ha' been a 'ard thing to say
+which was the most upset, Bill Chambers or Smith, the landlord, and Bill,
+who was in a terrible state, asked why it was everything seemed to get
+into his mug.
+
+"P'r'aps you're fond o' dumb animals, sir," ses the conjurer.  "Do you
+'appen to notice your coat-pocket is all of a wriggle?"
+
+He put his 'and to Bill's pocket and took out a little green snake; then
+he put his 'and to Bill's trouser-pocket and took out a frog, while pore
+Bill's eyes looked as if they was corning out o' their sockets.
+
+"Keep still," ses the conjurer; "there's a lot more to come yet."
+
+Bill Chambers gave a 'owl that was dreadful to listen to, and then 'e
+pushed the conjurer away and started undressing 'imself as fast as he
+could move 'is fingers.  I believe he'd ha' taken off 'is shirt if it 'ad
+'ad pockets in it, and then 'e stuck 'is feet close together and 'e kept
+jumping into the air, and coming down on to 'is own clothes in his
+hobnailed boots.
+
+"He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer.  Then he put his
+'and on his 'art and bowed.
+
+"Gentlemen all," he ses.  "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can
+do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall
+give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening
+at seven o'clock; ad--mission, three-pence each."
+
+They didn't understand 'im at fust, but at last they see wot 'e meant,
+and arter explaining to Bill, who was still giving little jumps, they led
+'im up into a corner and coaxed 'im into dressing 'imself agin.  He wanted
+to fight the conjurer, but 'e was that tired 'e could scarcely stand, and
+by-and-by Smith, who 'ad said 'e wouldn't 'ave anything to do with it,
+gave way and said he'd risk it.
+
+The tap-room was crowded that night, but we all 'ad to pay threepence
+each--coining money, I call it.  Some o' the things wot he done was very
+clever, but a'most from the fust start-off there was unpleasantness.
+When he asked somebody to lend 'im a pocket-'andkercher to turn into a
+white rabbit, Henery Walker rushed up and lent 'im 'is, but instead of a
+white rabbit it turned into a black one with two white spots on it, and
+arter Henery Walker 'ad sat for some time puzzling over it 'e got up and
+went off 'ome without saying good-night to a soul.
+
+Then the conjurer borrowed Sam Jones's hat, and arter looking into it for
+some time 'e was that surprised and astonished that Sam Jones lost 'is
+temper and asked 'im whether he 'adn't seen a hat afore.
+
+"Not like this," ses the conjurer.  And 'e pulled out a woman's dress and
+jacket and a pair o' boots.  Then 'e took out a pound or two o' taters
+and some crusts o' bread and other things, and at last 'e gave it back to
+Sam Jones and shook 'is head at 'im, and told 'im if he wasn't very
+careful he'd spoil the shape of it.
+
+Then 'e asked somebody to lend 'im a watch, and, arter he 'ad promised to
+take the greatest care of it, Dicky Weed, the tailor, lent 'im a gold
+watch wot 'ad been left 'im by 'is great-aunt when she died.  Dicky Weed
+thought a great deal o' that watch, and when the conjurer took a
+flat-iron and began to smash it up into little bits it took three men
+to hold 'im down in 'is seat.
+
+"This is the most difficult trick o' the lot," ses the conjurer, picking
+off a wheel wot 'ad stuck to the flat-iron.  "Sometimes I can do it and
+sometimes I can't.  Last time I tried it it was a failure, and it cost me
+eighteenpence and a pint o' beer afore the gentleman the watch 'ad
+belonged to was satisfied.  I gave 'im the bits, too."
+
+"If you don't give me my watch back safe and sound," ses Dicky Weed, in a
+trembling voice, "it'll cost you twenty pounds."
+
+"'Ow much?" ses the conjurer, with a start.  "Well, I wish you'd told me
+that afore you lent it to me.  Eighteenpence is my price."
+
+He stirred the broken bits up with 'is finger and shook his 'ead.
+
+"I've never tried one o' these old-fashioned watches afore," he ses.
+"'Owever, if I fail, gentle-men, it'll be the fust and only trick I've
+failed in to-night.  You can't expect everything to turn out right, but
+if I do fail this time, gentlemen, I'll try it agin if anybody else'll
+lend me another watch."
+
+Dicky Weed tried to speak but couldn't, and 'e sat there, with 'is face
+pale, staring at the pieces of 'is watch on the conjurer's table.  Then
+the conjurer took a big pistol with a trumpet-shaped barrel out of 'is
+box, and arter putting in a charge o' powder picked up the pieces o'
+watch and rammed them in arter it.  We could hear the broken bits grating
+agin the ramrod, and arter he 'ad loaded it 'e walked round and handed it
+to us to look at.
+
+"It's all right," he ses to Dicky Weed; "it's going to be a success; I
+could tell in the loading."
+
+He walked back to the other end of the room and held up the pistol.
+
+"I shall now fire this pistol," 'e ses, "and in so doing mend the watch.
+The explosion of the powder makes the bits o' glass join together agin;
+in flying through the air the wheels go round and round collecting all
+the other parts, and the watch as good as new and ticking away its
+'ardest will be found in the coat-pocket o' the gentleman I shoot at."
+
+He pointed the pistol fust at one and then at another, as if 'e couldn't
+make up 'is mind, and none of 'em seemed to 'ave much liking for it.
+Peter Gubbins told 'im not to shoot at 'im because he 'ad a 'ole in his
+pocket, and Bill Chambers, when it pointed at 'im, up and told 'im to let
+somebody else 'ave a turn.  The only one that didn't flinch was Bob
+Pretty, the biggest poacher and the greatest rascal in Claybury.  He'd
+been making fun o' the tricks all along, saying out loud that he'd seen
+'em all afore--and done better.
+
+"Go on," he ses; "I ain't afraid of you; you can't shoot straight."
+
+The conjurer pointed the pistol at 'im.  Then 'e pulled the trigger and
+the pistol went off bang, and the same moment o' time Bob Pretty jumped
+up with a 'orrible scream, and holding his 'ands over 'is eyes danced
+about as though he'd gone mad.
+
+Everybody started up at once and got round 'im, and asked 'im wot was the
+matter; but Bob didn't answer 'em.  He kept on making a dreadful noise,
+and at last 'e broke out of the room and, holding 'is 'andkercher to 'is
+face, ran off 'ome as 'ard as he could run.
+
+"You've done it now, mate," ses Bill Chambers to the conjurer.  "I
+thought you wouldn't be satisfied till you'd done some 'arm.  You've been
+and blinded pore Bob Pretty."
+
+"Nonsense," ses the conjurer.  "He's frightened, that's all."
+
+"Frightened!"  ses Peter Gubbins.  "Why, you fired Dicky Weed's watch
+straight into 'is face."
+
+"Rubbish," ses the conjurer; "it dropped into 'is pocket, and he'll find
+it there when 'e comes to 'is senses."
+
+"Do you mean to tell me that Bob Pretty 'as gone off with my watch in 'is
+pocket?"  screams Dicky Weed.
+
+"I do," ses the other.
+
+"You'd better get 'old of Bob afore 'e finds it out, Dicky," ses Bill
+Chambers.
+
+Dicky Weed didn't answer 'im; he was already running along to Bob
+Pretty's as fast as 'is legs would take 'im, with most of us follering
+behind to see wot 'appened.
+
+[Illustration: "He was running along to Bob Pretty's as fast as 'is legs
+would take 'im."]
+
+The door was fastened when we got to it, but Dicky Weed banged away at it
+as 'ard as he could bang, and at last the bedroom winder went up and
+Mrs. Pretty stuck her 'ead out.
+
+"H'sh!" she ses, in a whisper.  "Go away."
+
+"I want to see Bob," ses Dicky Weed.
+
+"You can't see 'im," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I'm getting 'im to bed.  He's
+been shot, pore dear.  Can't you 'ear 'im groaning?"
+
+We 'adn't up to then, but a'most direckly arter she 'ad spoke you could
+ha' heard Bob's groans a mile away.  Dreadful, they was.
+
+"There, there, pore dear," ses Mrs. Pretty.
+
+"Shall I come in and 'elp you get 'im to bed?" ses Dicky Weed, 'arf
+crying.
+
+"No, thank you, Mr. Weed," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "It's very kind of you to
+offer, but 'e wouldn't like any hands but mine to touch 'im.  I'll send
+in and let you know 'ow he is fust thing in the morning."
+
+"Try and get 'old of the coat, Dicky," ses Bill Chambers, in a whisper.
+"Offer to mend it for 'im.  It's sure to want it."
+
+"Well, I'm sorry I can't be no 'elp to you," ses Dicky Weed, "but I
+noticed a rent in Bob's coat and, as 'e's likely to be laid up a bit, it
+ud be a good opportunity for me to mend it for 'im.  I won't charge 'im
+nothing.  If you drop it down I'll do it now."
+
+"Thankee," ses Mrs. Pretty; "if you just wait a moment I'll clear the
+pockets out and drop it down to you."
+
+She turned back into the bedroom, and Dicky Weed ground 'is teeth
+together and told Bill Chambers that the next time he took 'is advice
+he'd remember it.  He stood there trembling all over with temper, and
+when Mrs. Pretty came to the winder agin and dropped the coat on his 'ead
+and said that Bob felt his kindness very much, and he 'oped Dicky ud make
+a good job of it, because it was 'is favrite coat, he couldn't speak.
+He stood there shaking all over till Mrs. Pretty 'ad shut the winder down
+agin, and then 'e turned to the conjurer, as 'ad come up with the rest of
+us, and asked 'im wot he was going to do about it now.
+
+"I tell you he's got the watch," ses the conjurer, pointing up at the
+winder.  "It went into 'is pocket.  I saw it go.  He was no more shot
+than you were.  If 'e was, why doesn't he send for the doctor?"
+
+"I can't 'elp that," ses Dicky Weed.  "I want my watch or else twenty
+pounds."
+
+"We'll talk it over in a day or two," ses the conjurer.  "I'm giving my
+celebrated entertainment at Wickham Fair on Monday, but I'll come back
+'ere to the Cauliflower the Saturday before and give another
+entertainment, and then we'll see wot's to be done.  I can't run away,
+because in any case I can't afford to miss the fair."
+
+Dicky Weed gave way at last and went off 'ome to bed and told 'is wife
+about it, and listening to 'er advice he got up at six o'clock in the
+morning and went round to see 'ow Bob Pretty was.
+
+Mrs. Pretty was up when 'e got there, and arter calling up the stairs to
+Bob told Dicky Weed to go upstairs.  Bob Pretty was sitting up in bed
+with 'is face covered in bandages, and he seemed quite pleased to see
+'im.
+
+"It ain't everybody that ud get up at six o'clock to see 'ow I'm getting
+on," he ses.  "You've got a feeling 'art, Dicky."
+
+Dicky Weed coughed and looked round, wondering whether the watch was in
+the room, and, if so, where it was hidden.
+
+"Now I'm 'ere I may as well tidy up the room for you a bit," he ses,
+getting up.  "I don't like sitting idle."
+
+"Thankee, mate," ses Bob; and 'e lay still and watched Dicky Weed out of
+the corner of the eye that wasn't covered with the bandages.
+
+I don't suppose that room 'ad ever been tidied up so thoroughly since the
+Prettys 'ad lived there, but Dicky Weed couldn't see anything o' the
+watch, and wot made 'im more angry than anything else was Mrs. Pretty
+setting down in a chair with 'er 'ands folded in her lap and pointing out
+places that he 'adn't done.
+
+"You leave 'im alone," ses Bob.  "_He knows wot 'e's arter_.  Wot did you
+do with those little bits o' watch you found when you was bandaging me
+up, missis?"
+
+"Don't ask me," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I was in such a state I don't know wot
+I was doing 'ardly."
+
+"Well, they must be about somewhere," ses Bob.  "You 'ave a look for 'em,
+Dicky, and if you find 'em, keep 'em.  They belong to you."
+
+Dicky Weed tried to be civil and thank 'im, and then he went off 'ome and
+talked it over with 'is wife agin.  People couldn't make up their minds
+whether Bob Pretty 'ad found the watch in 'is pocket and was shamming, or
+whether 'e was really shot, but they was all quite certain that,
+whichever way it was, Dicky Weed would never see 'is watch agin.
+
+On the Saturday evening this 'ere Cauliflower public-'ouse was crowded,
+everybody being anxious to see the watch trick done over agin.  We had
+'eard that it 'ad been done all right at Cudford and Monksham; but Bob
+Pretty said as 'ow he'd believe it when 'e saw it, and not afore.
+
+He was one o' the fust to turn up that night, because 'e said 'e wanted
+to know wot the conjurer was going to pay him for all 'is pain and
+suffering and having things said about 'is character.  He came in leaning
+on a stick, with 'is face still bandaged, and sat right up close to the
+conjurer's table, and watched him as 'ard as he could as 'e went through
+'is tricks.
+
+"And now," ses the conjurer, at last, "I come to my celebrated watch
+trick.  Some of you as wos 'ere last Tuesday when I did it will remember
+that the man I fired the pistol at pretended that 'e'd been shot and run
+off 'ome with it in 'is pocket."
+
+"You're a liar!"  ses Bob Pretty, standing up.  "Very good," ses the
+conjurer; "you take that bandage off and show us all where you're hurt."
+
+"I shall do nothing o' the kind," ses Bob.  I don't take my orders from
+you."
+
+"Take the bandage off," ses the conjurer, "and if there's any shot marks
+I'll give you a couple o' sovereigns."
+
+"I'm afraid of the air getting to it," ses Bob Pretty.
+
+"You don't want to be afraid o' that, Bob," ses John Biggs, the
+blacksmith, coming up behind and putting 'is great arms round 'im.  "Take
+off that rag, somebody; I've got hold of 'im."
+
+Bob Pretty started to struggle at fust, but then, seeing it was no good,
+kept quite quiet while they took off the bandages.
+
+"There!  look at 'im," ses the conjurer, pointing.  "Not a mark on 'is
+face, not one."
+
+"Wet!" ses Bob Pretty.  "Do you mean to say there's no marks?"
+
+"I do," ses the conjurer.
+
+"Thank goodness," ses Bob Pretty, clasping his 'ands.  "Thank goodness!
+I was afraid I was disfigured for life.  Lend me a bit o' looking-glass,
+somebody.  I can 'ardly believe it."
+
+"You stole Dicky Weed's watch," ses John Biggs.  "I 'ad my suspicions of
+you all along.  You're a thief, Bob Pretty.  That's wot you are."
+
+"Prove it," ses Bob Pretty.  "You 'eard wot the conjurer said the other
+night, that the last time he tried 'e failed, and 'ad to give
+eighteenpence to the man wot the watch 'ad belonged to."
+
+"That was by way of a joke like," ses the conjurer to John Biggs.  "I can
+always do it.  I'm going to do it now.  Will somebody 'ave the kindness
+to lend me a watch?"
+
+He looked all round the room, but nobody offered--except other men's
+watches, wot wouldn't lend 'em.
+
+"Come, come," he ses; "ain't none of you got any trust in me?  It'll be
+as safe as if it was in your pocket.  I want to prove to you that this
+man is a thief."
+
+He asked 'em agin, and at last John Biggs took out 'is silver watch and
+offered it to 'im on the understanding that 'e was on no account to fire
+it into Bob Pretty's pocket.
+
+"Not likely," ses the conjurer.  "Now, everybody take a good look at this
+watch, so as to make sure there's no deceiving."
+
+He 'anded it round, and arter everybody 'ad taken a look at it 'e took it
+up to the table and laid it down.
+
+"Let me 'ave a look at it," ses Bob Pretty, going up to the table.  "I'm
+not going to 'ave my good name took away for nothing if I can 'elp it."
+
+He took it up and looked at it, and arter 'olding it to 'is ear put it
+down agin.
+
+"Is that the flat-iron it's going to be smashed with?"  he ses.
+
+"It is," ses the conjurer, looking at 'im nasty like; "p'r'aps you'd like
+to examine it."
+
+Bob Pretty took it and looked at it. "Yes, mates," he ses, "it's a
+ordinary flat-iron.  You couldn't 'ave anything better for smashing a
+watch with."
+
+He 'eld it up in the air and, afore anybody could move, brought it down
+bang on the face o' the watch.  The conjurer sprang at 'im and caught at
+'is arm, but it was too late, and in a terrible state o' mind 'e turned
+round to John Biggs.
+
+[Illustration: "Afore anybody could move, he brought it down bang on the
+face o' the watch."]
+
+"He's smashed your watch," he ses; "he's smashed your watch."
+
+"Well," ses John Biggs, "it 'ad got to be smashed, 'adn't it?"
+
+"Yes, but not by 'im," ses the conjurer, dancing about.  "I wash my 'ands
+of it now."
+
+"Look 'ere," ses John Biggs; "don't you talk to me about washing your
+'ands of it.  You finish your trick and give me my watch back agin same
+as it was afore."
+
+"Not now he's been interfering with it," ses the conjurer.  "He'd better
+do the trick now as he's so clever."
+
+"I'd sooner 'ave you do it," ses John Biggs.  "Wot did you let 'im
+interfere for?"
+
+"'Ow was I to know wot 'e was going to do?"  ses the conjurer.  "You must
+settle it between you now.  I'll 'ave nothing more to do with it."
+
+"All right, John Biggs," ses Bob Pretty; "if 'e won't do it, I will.  If
+it can be done, I don't s'pose it matters who does it.  I don't think
+anybody could smash up a watch better than that."
+
+John Biggs looked at it, and then 'e asked the conjurer once more to do
+the trick, but 'e wouldn't.
+
+"It can't be done now," he ses; "and I warn you that if that pistol is
+fired I won't be responsible for what'll 'appen."
+
+"George Kettle shall load the pistol and fire it if 'e won't," ses Bob
+Pretty.  "'Aving been in the Militia, there couldn't be a better man for
+the job."
+
+George Kettle walked up to the table as red as fire at being praised like
+that afore people and started loading the pistol.  He seemed to be more
+awkward about it than the conjurer 'ad been the last time, and he 'ad to
+roll the watch-cases up with the flat-iron afore 'e could get 'em in.
+But 'e loaded it at last and stood waiting.
+
+"Don't shoot at me, George Kettle," ses Bob.  "I've been called a thief
+once, and I don't want to be agin."
+
+"Put that pistol down, you fool, afore you do mischief," ses the
+conjurer.
+
+"Who shall I shoot at?"  ses George Kettle, raising the pistol.
+
+"Better fire at the conjurer, I think," ses Bob Pretty; "and if things
+'appen as he says they will 'appen, the watch ought to be found in 'is
+coat-pocket."
+
+"Where is he?"  ses George, looking round.
+
+Bill Chambers laid 'old of 'im just as he was going through the door to
+fetch the landlord, and the scream 'e gave as he came back and George
+Kettle pointed the pistol at 'im was awful.
+
+[Illustration: "The scream 'e gave as George Kettle pointed the pistol at
+'im was awful."]
+
+"It's no worse for you than it was for me," ses Bob.
+
+"Put it down," screams the conjurer; "put it down.  You'll kill 'arf the
+men in the room if it goes off."
+
+"Be careful where you aim, George," ses Sam Jones.  "P'r'aps he'd better
+'ave a chair all by hisself in the middle of the room."
+
+It was all very well for Sam Jones to talk, but the conjurer wouldn't sit
+on a chair by 'imself.  He wouldn't sit on it at all.  He seemed to be
+all legs and arms, and the way 'e struggled it took four or five men to
+'old 'im.
+
+"Why don't you keep still?"  ses John Biggs.  "George Kettle'll shoot it
+in your pocket all right.  He's the best shot in Claybury."
+
+"Help!  Murder!" says the conjurer, struggling.  "He'll kill me.  Nobody
+can do the trick but me."
+
+"But you say you won't do it," ses John Biggs.  "Not now," ses the
+conjurer; "I can't."
+
+"Well, I'm not going to 'ave my watch lost through want of trying," ses
+John Biggs.  "Tie 'im to the chair, mates."
+
+"All right, then," ses the conjurer, very pale.  "Don't tie me; I'll sit
+still all right if you like, but you'd better bring the chair outside in
+case of accidents.  Bring it in the front."
+
+George Kettle said it was all nonsense, but the conjurer said the trick
+was always better done in the open air, and at last they gave way and
+took 'im and the chair outside.
+
+"Now," ses the conjurer, as 'e sat down, "all of you go and stand near
+the man woe's going to shoot.  When I say 'Three,' fire.  Why!  there's
+the watch on the ground there!"
+
+He pointed with 'is finger, and as they all looked down he jumped up out
+o' that chair and set off on the road to Wickham as 'ard as 'e could run.
+It was so sudden that nobody knew wot 'ad 'appened for a moment, and then
+George Kettle, wot 'ad been looking with the rest, turned round and
+pulled the trigger.
+
+There was a bang that pretty nigh deafened us, and the back o' the chair
+was blown nearly out.  By the time we'd got our senses agin the conjurer
+was a'most out o' sight, and Bob Pretty was explaining to John Biggs wot
+a good job it was 'is watch 'adn't been a gold one.
+
+"That's wot comes o' trusting a foreigner afore a man wot you've known
+all your life," he ses, shaking his 'ead.  "I 'ope the next man wot tries
+to take my good name away won't get off so easy.  I felt all along the
+trick couldn't be done; it stands to reason it couldn't.  I done my best,
+too."
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12213 ***
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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type"
+    content="text/html; charset=us-ascii">
+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Odd Craft
+    By W. W. Jacobs: Part 13.
+</title>
+
+<style type="text/css">
+    <!--
+    P { text-indent:   1em;
+	      margin:        15%;
+        margin-top:    .75em;
+        text-align:    justify;
+        margin-bottom: .75em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+    HR  { width: 33%; }
+    PRE { font-family: cursive}
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+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Odd Charges
+       Odd Craft, Part 13.
+
+Author: W.W. Jacobs
+
+Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12213]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ODD CHARGES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" />
+</center>
+<br><br>
+<br /><br />
+<h2>
+    1909
+</h2>
+
+<center>
+<h3>PART 13.</h3>
+</center>
+
+<br /><br />
+<hr>
+<br /><br />
+
+
+<h2>List of Illustrations</h2>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-63">
+"Seated at his Ease in the Warm Tap-room of The
+Cauliflower."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-64">
+"Putting his 'and to Bill's Mug, he Took out a Live
+Frog."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-65">
+"He Was Running Along to Bob Pretty's As Fast As 'is Legs
+Would Take 'im."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-66">
+"Afore Anybody Could Move, he Brought It Down Bang on The
+Face O' the Watch."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-67">
+"The Scream 'e Gave As George Kettle Pointed the Pistol At
+'im Was Awful."
+</a></p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<br /><br />
+<hr>
+<br /><br />
+
+
+
+
+
+<a name="2H_4_13"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h2>
+    ODD CHARGES
+</h2>
+<p>
+    Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the Cauliflower, the stranger
+    had been eating and drinking for some time, apparently unconscious of the
+    presence of the withered ancient who, huddled up in that corner of the
+    settle which was nearer to the fire, fidgeted restlessly with an empty
+    mug and blew with pathetic insistence through a churchwarden pipe which
+    had long been cold.  The stranger finished his meal with a sigh of
+    content and then, rising from his chair, crossed over to the settle and,
+    placing his mug on the time-worn table before him, began to fill his
+    pipe.
+</p>
+<a name="image-63"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="063.jpg" height="459" width="562"
+alt="'seated at his Ease in the Warm Tap-room of The
+Cauliflower.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    The old man took a spill from the table and, holding it with trembling
+    fingers to the blaze, gave him a light.  The other thanked him, and then,
+    leaning back in his corner of the settle, watched the smoke of his pipe
+    through half-closed eyes, and assented drowsily to the old man's remarks
+    upon the weather.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Bad time o' the year for going about," said the latter, "though I s'pose
+    if you can eat and drink as much as you want it don't matter.  I s'pose
+    you mightn't be a conjurer from London, sir?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    The traveller shook his head.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I was 'oping you might be," said the old man.  The other manifested no
+    curiosity.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "If you 'ad been," said the old man, with a sigh, "I should ha' asked you
+    to ha' done something useful.  Gin'rally speaking, conjurers do things
+    that are no use to anyone; wot I should like to see a conjurer do would
+    be to make this 'ere empty mug full o' beer and this empty pipe full o'
+    shag tobacco.  That's wot I should ha' made bold to ask you to do if
+    you'd been one."
+</p>
+<p>
+    The traveller sighed, and, taking his short briar pipe from his mouth by
+    the bowl, rapped three times upon the table with it.  In a very short
+    time a mug of ale and a paper cylinder of shag appeared on the table
+    before the old man.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Wot put me in mind o' your being a conjurer," said the latter, filling
+    his pipe after a satisfying draught from the mug, "is that you're
+    uncommon like one that come to Claybury some time back and give a
+    performance in this very room where we're now a-sitting.  So far as
+    looks go, you might be his brother."
+</p>
+<p>
+    The traveller said that he never had a brother.
+</p>
+<p>
+    We didn't know 'e was a conjurer at fust, said the old man.  He 'ad come
+    down for Wickham Fair and, being a day or two before 'and, 'e was going
+    to different villages round about to give performances.  He came into the
+    bar 'ere and ordered a mug o' beer, and while 'e was a-drinking of it
+    stood talking about the weather.  Then 'e asked Bill Chambers to excuse
+    'im for taking the liberty, and, putting his 'and to Bill's mug, took out
+    a live frog.  Bill was a very partikler man about wot 'e drunk, and I
+    thought he'd ha' had a fit.  He went on at Smith, the landlord, something
+    shocking, and at last, for the sake o' peace and quietness, Smith gave
+    'im another pint to make up for it.
+</p>
+<a name="image-64"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="064.jpg" height="567" width="576"
+alt="'putting his 'and to Bill's Mug, he Took out a Live
+Frog.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    "It must ha' been asleep in the mug," he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bill said that 'e thought 'e knew who must ha' been asleep, and was just
+    going to take a drink, when the conjurer asked 'im to excuse 'im agin.
+    Bill put down the mug in a 'urry, and the conjurer put his 'and to the
+    mug and took out a dead mouse.  It would ha' been a 'ard thing to say
+    which was the most upset, Bill Chambers or Smith, the landlord, and Bill,
+    who was in a terrible state, asked why it was everything seemed to get
+    into his mug.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "P'r'aps you're fond o' dumb animals, sir," ses the conjurer.  "Do you
+    'appen to notice your coat-pocket is all of a wriggle?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    He put his 'and to Bill's pocket and took out a little green snake; then
+    he put his 'and to Bill's trouser-pocket and took out a frog, while pore
+    Bill's eyes looked as if they was corning out o' their sockets.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Keep still," ses the conjurer; "there's a lot more to come yet."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bill Chambers gave a 'owl that was dreadful to listen to, and then 'e
+    pushed the conjurer away and started undressing 'imself as fast as he
+    could move 'is fingers.  I believe he'd ha' taken off 'is shirt if it 'ad
+    'ad pockets in it, and then 'e stuck 'is feet close together and 'e kept
+    jumping into the air, and coming down on to 'is own clothes in his
+    hobnailed boots.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer.  Then he put his
+    'and on his 'art and bowed.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Gentlemen all," he ses.  "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can
+    do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall
+    give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening
+    at seven o'clock; ad&mdash;mission, three-pence each."
+</p>
+<p>
+    They didn't understand 'im at fust, but at last they see wot 'e meant,
+    and arter explaining to Bill, who was still giving little jumps, they led
+    'im up into a corner and coaxed 'im into dressing 'imself agin.  He wanted
+    to fight the conjurer, but 'e was that tired 'e could scarcely stand, and
+    by-and-by Smith, who 'ad said 'e wouldn't 'ave anything to do with it,
+    gave way and said he'd risk it.
+</p>
+<p>
+    The tap-room was crowded that night, but we all 'ad to pay threepence
+    each&mdash;coining money, I call it.  Some o' the things wot he done was very
+    clever, but a'most from the fust start-off there was unpleasantness.
+    When he asked somebody to lend 'im a pocket-'andkercher to turn into a
+    white rabbit, Henery Walker rushed up and lent 'im 'is, but instead of a
+    white rabbit it turned into a black one with two white spots on it, and
+    arter Henery Walker 'ad sat for some time puzzling over it 'e got up and
+    went off 'ome without saying good-night to a soul.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Then the conjurer borrowed Sam Jones's hat, and arter looking into it for
+    some time 'e was that surprised and astonished that Sam Jones lost 'is
+    temper and asked 'im whether he 'adn't seen a hat afore.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Not like this," ses the conjurer.  And 'e pulled out a woman's dress and
+    jacket and a pair o' boots.  Then 'e took out a pound or two o' taters
+    and some crusts o' bread and other things, and at last 'e gave it back to
+    Sam Jones and shook 'is head at 'im, and told 'im if he wasn't very
+    careful he'd spoil the shape of it.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Then 'e asked somebody to lend 'im a watch, and, arter he 'ad promised to
+    take the greatest care of it, Dicky Weed, the tailor, lent 'im a gold
+    watch wot 'ad been left 'im by 'is great-aunt when she died.  Dicky Weed
+    thought a great deal o' that watch, and when the conjurer took a
+    flat-iron and began to smash it up into little bits it took three men
+    to hold 'im down in 'is seat.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "This is the most difficult trick o' the lot," ses the conjurer, picking
+    off a wheel wot 'ad stuck to the flat-iron.  "Sometimes I can do it and
+    sometimes I can't.  Last time I tried it it was a failure, and it cost me
+    eighteenpence and a pint o' beer afore the gentleman the watch 'ad
+    belonged to was satisfied.  I gave 'im the bits, too."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "If you don't give me my watch back safe and sound," ses Dicky Weed, in a
+    trembling voice, "it'll cost you twenty pounds."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "'Ow much?" ses the conjurer, with a start.  "Well, I wish you'd told me
+    that afore you lent it to me.  Eighteenpence is my price."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He stirred the broken bits up with 'is finger and shook his 'ead.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I've never tried one o' these old-fashioned watches afore," he ses.
+    "'Owever, if I fail, gentle-men, it'll be the fust and only trick I've
+    failed in to-night.  You can't expect everything to turn out right, but
+    if I do fail this time, gentlemen, I'll try it agin if anybody else'll
+    lend me another watch."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed tried to speak but couldn't, and 'e sat there, with 'is face
+    pale, staring at the pieces of 'is watch on the conjurer's table.  Then
+    the conjurer took a big pistol with a trumpet-shaped barrel out of 'is
+    box, and arter putting in a charge o' powder picked up the pieces o'
+    watch and rammed them in arter it.  We could hear the broken bits grating
+    agin the ramrod, and arter he 'ad loaded it 'e walked round and handed it
+    to us to look at.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It's all right," he ses to Dicky Weed; "it's going to be a success; I
+    could tell in the loading."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He walked back to the other end of the room and held up the pistol.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I shall now fire this pistol," 'e ses, "and in so doing mend the watch.
+    The explosion of the powder makes the bits o' glass join together agin;
+    in flying through the air the wheels go round and round collecting all
+    the other parts, and the watch as good as new and ticking away its
+    'ardest will be found in the coat-pocket o' the gentleman I shoot at."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He pointed the pistol fust at one and then at another, as if 'e couldn't
+    make up 'is mind, and none of 'em seemed to 'ave much liking for it.
+    Peter Gubbins told 'im not to shoot at 'im because he 'ad a 'ole in his
+    pocket, and Bill Chambers, when it pointed at 'im, up and told 'im to let
+    somebody else 'ave a turn.  The only one that didn't flinch was Bob
+    Pretty, the biggest poacher and the greatest rascal in Claybury.  He'd
+    been making fun o' the tricks all along, saying out loud that he'd seen
+    'em all afore&mdash;and done better.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Go on," he ses; "I ain't afraid of you; you can't shoot straight."
+</p>
+<p>
+    The conjurer pointed the pistol at 'im.  Then 'e pulled the trigger and
+    the pistol went off bang, and the same moment o' time Bob Pretty jumped
+    up with a 'orrible scream, and holding his 'ands over 'is eyes danced
+    about as though he'd gone mad.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Everybody started up at once and got round 'im, and asked 'im wot was the
+    matter; but Bob didn't answer 'em.  He kept on making a dreadful noise,
+    and at last 'e broke out of the room and, holding 'is 'andkercher to 'is
+    face, ran off 'ome as 'ard as he could run.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You've done it now, mate," ses Bill Chambers to the conjurer.  "I
+    thought you wouldn't be satisfied till you'd done some 'arm.  You've been
+    and blinded pore Bob Pretty."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Nonsense," ses the conjurer.  "He's frightened, that's all."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Frightened!"  ses Peter Gubbins.  "Why, you fired Dicky Weed's watch
+    straight into 'is face."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Rubbish," ses the conjurer; "it dropped into 'is pocket, and he'll find
+    it there when 'e comes to 'is senses."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Do you mean to tell me that Bob Pretty 'as gone off with my watch in 'is
+    pocket?"  screams Dicky Weed.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I do," ses the other.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You'd better get 'old of Bob afore 'e finds it out, Dicky," ses Bill
+    Chambers.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed didn't answer 'im; he was already running along to Bob
+    Pretty's as fast as 'is legs would take 'im, with most of us follering
+    behind to see wot 'appened.
+</p>
+<a name="image-65"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="065.jpg" height="612" width="586"
+alt="'he Was Running Along to Bob Pretty's As Fast As 'is Legs
+Would Take 'im.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    The door was fastened when we got to it, but Dicky Weed banged away at it
+    as 'ard as he could bang, and at last the bedroom winder went up and
+    Mrs. Pretty stuck her 'ead out.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "H'sh!" she ses, in a whisper.  "Go away."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I want to see Bob," ses Dicky Weed.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You can't see 'im," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I'm getting 'im to bed.  He's
+    been shot, pore dear.  Can't you 'ear 'im groaning?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    We 'adn't up to then, but a'most direckly arter she 'ad spoke you could
+    ha' heard Bob's groans a mile away.  Dreadful, they was.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "There, there, pore dear," ses Mrs. Pretty.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Shall I come in and 'elp you get 'im to bed?" ses Dicky Weed, 'arf
+    crying.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "No, thank you, Mr. Weed," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "It's very kind of you to
+    offer, but 'e wouldn't like any hands but mine to touch 'im.  I'll send
+    in and let you know 'ow he is fust thing in the morning."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Try and get 'old of the coat, Dicky," ses Bill Chambers, in a whisper.
+    "Offer to mend it for 'im.  It's sure to want it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well, I'm sorry I can't be no 'elp to you," ses Dicky Weed, "but I
+    noticed a rent in Bob's coat and, as 'e's likely to be laid up a bit, it
+    ud be a good opportunity for me to mend it for 'im.  I won't charge 'im
+    nothing.  If you drop it down I'll do it now."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Thankee," ses Mrs. Pretty; "if you just wait a moment I'll clear the
+    pockets out and drop it down to you."
+</p>
+<p>
+    She turned back into the bedroom, and Dicky Weed ground 'is teeth
+    together and told Bill Chambers that the next time he took 'is advice
+    he'd remember it.  He stood there trembling all over with temper, and
+    when Mrs. Pretty came to the winder agin and dropped the coat on his 'ead
+    and said that Bob felt his kindness very much, and he 'oped Dicky ud make
+    a good job of it, because it was 'is favrite coat, he couldn't speak.
+    He stood there shaking all over till Mrs. Pretty 'ad shut the winder down
+    agin, and then 'e turned to the conjurer, as 'ad come up with the rest of
+    us, and asked 'im wot he was going to do about it now.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I tell you he's got the watch," ses the conjurer, pointing up at the
+    winder.  "It went into 'is pocket.  I saw it go.  He was no more shot
+    than you were.  If 'e was, why doesn't he send for the doctor?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I can't 'elp that," ses Dicky Weed.  "I want my watch or else twenty
+    pounds."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "We'll talk it over in a day or two," ses the conjurer.  "I'm giving my
+    celebrated entertainment at Wickham Fair on Monday, but I'll come back
+    'ere to the Cauliflower the Saturday before and give another
+    entertainment, and then we'll see wot's to be done.  I can't run away,
+    because in any case I can't afford to miss the fair."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed gave way at last and went off 'ome to bed and told 'is wife
+    about it, and listening to 'er advice he got up at six o'clock in the
+    morning and went round to see 'ow Bob Pretty was.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Mrs. Pretty was up when 'e got there, and arter calling up the stairs to
+    Bob told Dicky Weed to go upstairs.  Bob Pretty was sitting up in bed
+    with 'is face covered in bandages, and he seemed quite pleased to see
+    'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It ain't everybody that ud get up at six o'clock to see 'ow I'm getting
+    on," he ses.  "You've got a feeling 'art, Dicky."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed coughed and looked round, wondering whether the watch was in
+    the room, and, if so, where it was hidden.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Now I'm 'ere I may as well tidy up the room for you a bit," he ses,
+    getting up.  "I don't like sitting idle."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Thankee, mate," ses Bob; and 'e lay still and watched Dicky Weed out of
+    the corner of the eye that wasn't covered with the bandages.
+</p>
+<p>
+    I don't suppose that room 'ad ever been tidied up so thoroughly since the
+    Prettys 'ad lived there, but Dicky Weed couldn't see anything o' the
+    watch, and wot made 'im more angry than anything else was Mrs. Pretty
+    setting down in a chair with 'er 'ands folded in her lap and pointing out
+    places that he 'adn't done.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You leave 'im alone," ses Bob.  "<i>He knows wot 'e's arter</i>.  Wot did you
+    do with those little bits o' watch you found when you was bandaging me
+    up, missis?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Don't ask me," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I was in such a state I don't know wot
+    I was doing 'ardly."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well, they must be about somewhere," ses Bob.  "You 'ave a look for 'em,
+    Dicky, and if you find 'em, keep 'em.  They belong to you."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed tried to be civil and thank 'im, and then he went off 'ome and
+    talked it over with 'is wife agin.  People couldn't make up their minds
+    whether Bob Pretty 'ad found the watch in 'is pocket and was shamming, or
+    whether 'e was really shot, but they was all quite certain that,
+    whichever way it was, Dicky Weed would never see 'is watch agin.
+</p>
+<p>
+    On the Saturday evening this 'ere Cauliflower public-'ouse was crowded,
+    everybody being anxious to see the watch trick done over agin.  We had
+    'eard that it 'ad been done all right at Cudford and Monksham; but Bob
+    Pretty said as 'ow he'd believe it when 'e saw it, and not afore.
+</p>
+<p>
+    He was one o' the fust to turn up that night, because 'e said 'e wanted
+    to know wot the conjurer was going to pay him for all 'is pain and
+    suffering and having things said about 'is character.  He came in leaning
+    on a stick, with 'is face still bandaged, and sat right up close to the
+    conjurer's table, and watched him as 'ard as he could as 'e went through
+    'is tricks.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "And now," ses the conjurer, at last, "I come to my celebrated watch
+    trick.  Some of you as wos 'ere last Tuesday when I did it will remember
+    that the man I fired the pistol at pretended that 'e'd been shot and run
+    off 'ome with it in 'is pocket."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You're a liar!"  ses Bob Pretty, standing up.  "Very good," ses the
+    conjurer; "you take that bandage off and show us all where you're hurt."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I shall do nothing o' the kind," ses Bob.  I don't take my orders from
+    you."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Take the bandage off," ses the conjurer, "and if there's any shot marks
+    I'll give you a couple o' sovereigns."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I'm afraid of the air getting to it," ses Bob Pretty.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You don't want to be afraid o' that, Bob," ses John Biggs, the
+    blacksmith, coming up behind and putting 'is great arms round 'im.  "Take
+    off that rag, somebody; I've got hold of 'im."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bob Pretty started to struggle at fust, but then, seeing it was no good,
+    kept quite quiet while they took off the bandages.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "There!  look at 'im," ses the conjurer, pointing.  "Not a mark on 'is
+    face, not one."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Wet!" ses Bob Pretty.  "Do you mean to say there's no marks?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I do," ses the conjurer.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Thank goodness," ses Bob Pretty, clasping his 'ands.  "Thank goodness!
+    I was afraid I was disfigured for life.  Lend me a bit o' looking-glass,
+    somebody.  I can 'ardly believe it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You stole Dicky Weed's watch," ses John Biggs.  "I 'ad my suspicions of
+    you all along.  You're a thief, Bob Pretty.  That's wot you are."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Prove it," ses Bob Pretty.  "You 'eard wot the conjurer said the other
+    night, that the last time he tried 'e failed, and 'ad to give
+    eighteenpence to the man wot the watch 'ad belonged to."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "That was by way of a joke like," ses the conjurer to John Biggs.  "I can
+    always do it.  I'm going to do it now.  Will somebody 'ave the kindness
+    to lend me a watch?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    He looked all round the room, but nobody offered&mdash;except other men's
+    watches, wot wouldn't lend 'em.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Come, come," he ses; "ain't none of you got any trust in me?  It'll be
+    as safe as if it was in your pocket.  I want to prove to you that this
+    man is a thief."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He asked 'em agin, and at last John Biggs took out 'is silver watch and
+    offered it to 'im on the understanding that 'e was on no account to fire
+    it into Bob Pretty's pocket.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Not likely," ses the conjurer.  "Now, everybody take a good look at this
+    watch, so as to make sure there's no deceiving."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He 'anded it round, and arter everybody 'ad taken a look at it 'e took it
+    up to the table and laid it down.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Let me 'ave a look at it," ses Bob Pretty, going up to the table.  "I'm
+    not going to 'ave my good name took away for nothing if I can 'elp it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He took it up and looked at it, and arter 'olding it to 'is ear put it
+    down agin.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Is that the flat-iron it's going to be smashed with?"  he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It is," ses the conjurer, looking at 'im nasty like; "p'r'aps you'd like
+    to examine it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bob Pretty took it and looked at it. "Yes, mates," he ses, "it's a
+    ordinary flat-iron.  You couldn't 'ave anything better for smashing a
+    watch with."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He 'eld it up in the air and, afore anybody could move, brought it down
+    bang on the face o' the watch.  The conjurer sprang at 'im and caught at
+    'is arm, but it was too late, and in a terrible state o' mind 'e turned
+    round to John Biggs.
+</p>
+<a name="image-66"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="066.jpg" height="606" width="564"
+alt="'afore Anybody Could Move, he Brought It Down Bang on The
+Face O' the Watch.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    "He's smashed your watch," he ses; "he's smashed your watch."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well," ses John Biggs, "it 'ad got to be smashed, 'adn't it?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Yes, but not by 'im," ses the conjurer, dancing about.  "I wash my 'ands
+    of it now."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Look 'ere," ses John Biggs; "don't you talk to me about washing your
+    'ands of it.  You finish your trick and give me my watch back agin same
+    as it was afore."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Not now he's been interfering with it," ses the conjurer.  "He'd better
+    do the trick now as he's so clever."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I'd sooner 'ave you do it," ses John Biggs.  "Wot did you let 'im
+    interfere for?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "'Ow was I to know wot 'e was going to do?"  ses the conjurer.  "You must
+    settle it between you now.  I'll 'ave nothing more to do with it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "All right, John Biggs," ses Bob Pretty; "if 'e won't do it, I will.  If
+    it can be done, I don't s'pose it matters who does it.  I don't think
+    anybody could smash up a watch better than that."
+</p>
+<p>
+    John Biggs looked at it, and then 'e asked the conjurer once more to do
+    the trick, but 'e wouldn't.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It can't be done now," he ses; "and I warn you that if that pistol is
+    fired I won't be responsible for what'll 'appen."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "George Kettle shall load the pistol and fire it if 'e won't," ses Bob
+    Pretty.  "'Aving been in the Militia, there couldn't be a better man for
+    the job."
+</p>
+<p>
+    George Kettle walked up to the table as red as fire at being praised like
+    that afore people and started loading the pistol.  He seemed to be more
+    awkward about it than the conjurer 'ad been the last time, and he 'ad to
+    roll the watch-cases up with the flat-iron afore 'e could get 'em in.
+    But 'e loaded it at last and stood waiting.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Don't shoot at me, George Kettle," ses Bob.  "I've been called a thief
+    once, and I don't want to be agin."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Put that pistol down, you fool, afore you do mischief," ses the
+    conjurer.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Who shall I shoot at?"  ses George Kettle, raising the pistol.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Better fire at the conjurer, I think," ses Bob Pretty; "and if things
+    'appen as he says they will 'appen, the watch ought to be found in 'is
+    coat-pocket."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Where is he?"  ses George, looking round.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bill Chambers laid 'old of 'im just as he was going through the door to
+    fetch the landlord, and the scream 'e gave as he came back and George
+    Kettle pointed the pistol at 'im was awful.
+</p>
+<a name="image-67"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="067.jpg" height="595" width="581"
+alt="'the Scream 'e Gave As George Kettle Pointed the Pistol At
+'im Was Awful.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    "It's no worse for you than it was for me," ses Bob.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Put it down," screams the conjurer; "put it down.  You'll kill 'arf the
+    men in the room if it goes off."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Be careful where you aim, George," ses Sam Jones.  "P'r'aps he'd better
+    'ave a chair all by hisself in the middle of the room."
+</p>
+<p>
+    It was all very well for Sam Jones to talk, but the conjurer wouldn't sit
+    on a chair by 'imself.  He wouldn't sit on it at all.  He seemed to be
+    all legs and arms, and the way 'e struggled it took four or five men to
+    'old 'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Why don't you keep still?"  ses John Biggs.  "George Kettle'll shoot it
+    in your pocket all right.  He's the best shot in Claybury."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Help!  Murder!" says the conjurer, struggling.  "He'll kill me.  Nobody
+    can do the trick but me."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "But you say you won't do it," ses John Biggs.  "Not now," ses the
+    conjurer; "I can't."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well, I'm not going to 'ave my watch lost through want of trying," ses
+    John Biggs.  "Tie 'im to the chair, mates."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "All right, then," ses the conjurer, very pale.  "Don't tie me; I'll sit
+    still all right if you like, but you'd better bring the chair outside in
+    case of accidents.  Bring it in the front."
+</p>
+<p>
+    George Kettle said it was all nonsense, but the conjurer said the trick
+    was always better done in the open air, and at last they gave way and
+    took 'im and the chair outside.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Now," ses the conjurer, as 'e sat down, "all of you go and stand near
+    the man woe's going to shoot.  When I say 'Three,' fire.  Why!  there's
+    the watch on the ground there!"
+</p>
+<p>
+    He pointed with 'is finger, and as they all looked down he jumped up out
+    o' that chair and set off on the road to Wickham as 'ard as 'e could run.
+    It was so sudden that nobody knew wot 'ad 'appened for a moment, and then
+    George Kettle, wot 'ad been looking with the rest, turned round and
+    pulled the trigger.
+</p>
+<p>
+    There was a bang that pretty nigh deafened us, and the back o' the chair
+    was blown nearly out.  By the time we'd got our senses agin the conjurer
+    was a'most out o' sight, and Bob Pretty was explaining to John Biggs wot
+    a good job it was 'is watch 'adn't been a gold one.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "That's wot comes o' trusting a foreigner afore a man wot you've known
+    all your life," he ses, shaking his 'ead.  "I 'ope the next man wot tries
+    to take my good name away won't get off so easy.  I felt all along the
+    trick couldn't be done; it stands to reason it couldn't.  I done my best,
+    too."
+</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Odd Charges
+       Odd Craft, Part 13.
+
+Author: W.W. Jacobs
+
+Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12213]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ODD CHARGES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+ODD CRAFT
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+
+ODD CHARGES
+
+Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the Cauliflower, the stranger
+had been eating and drinking for some time, apparently unconscious of the
+presence of the withered ancient who, huddled up in that corner of the
+settle which was nearer to the fire, fidgeted restlessly with an empty
+mug and blew with pathetic insistence through a churchwarden pipe which
+had long been cold.  The stranger finished his meal with a sigh of
+content and then, rising from his chair, crossed over to the settle and,
+placing his mug on the time-worn table before him, began to fill his
+pipe.
+
+[Illustration: "Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the
+Cauliflower."]
+
+The old man took a spill from the table and, holding it with trembling
+fingers to the blaze, gave him a light.  The other thanked him, and then,
+leaning back in his corner of the settle, watched the smoke of his pipe
+through half-closed eyes, and assented drowsily to the old man's remarks
+upon the weather.
+
+"Bad time o' the year for going about," said the latter, "though I s'pose
+if you can eat and drink as much as you want it don't matter.  I s'pose
+you mightn't be a conjurer from London, sir?"
+
+The traveller shook his head.
+
+"I was 'oping you might be," said the old man.  The other manifested no
+curiosity.
+
+"If you 'ad been," said the old man, with a sigh, "I should ha' asked you
+to ha' done something useful.  Gin'rally speaking, conjurers do things
+that are no use to anyone; wot I should like to see a conjurer do would
+be to make this 'ere empty mug full o' beer and this empty pipe full o'
+shag tobacco.  That's wot I should ha' made bold to ask you to do if
+you'd been one."
+
+The traveller sighed, and, taking his short briar pipe from his mouth by
+the bowl, rapped three times upon the table with it.  In a very short
+time a mug of ale and a paper cylinder of shag appeared on the table
+before the old man.
+
+"Wot put me in mind o' your being a conjurer," said the latter, filling
+his pipe after a satisfying draught from the mug, "is that you're
+uncommon like one that come to Claybury some time back and give a
+performance in this very room where we're now a-sitting.  So far as
+looks go, you might be his brother."
+
+The traveller said that he never had a brother.
+
+We didn't know 'e was a conjurer at fust, said the old man.  He 'ad come
+down for Wickham Fair and, being a day or two before 'and, 'e was going
+to different villages round about to give performances.  He came into the
+bar 'ere and ordered a mug o' beer, and while 'e was a-drinking of it
+stood talking about the weather.  Then 'e asked Bill Chambers to excuse
+'im for taking the liberty, and, putting his 'and to Bill's mug, took out
+a live frog.  Bill was a very partikler man about wot 'e drunk, and I
+thought he'd ha' had a fit.  He went on at Smith, the landlord, something
+shocking, and at last, for the sake o' peace and quietness, Smith gave
+'im another pint to make up for it.
+
+[Illustration: "Putting his 'and to Bill's mug, he took out a live
+frog."]
+
+"It must ha' been asleep in the mug," he ses.
+
+Bill said that 'e thought 'e knew who must ha' been asleep, and was just
+going to take a drink, when the conjurer asked 'im to excuse 'im agin.
+Bill put down the mug in a 'urry, and the conjurer put his 'and to the
+mug and took out a dead mouse.  It would ha' been a 'ard thing to say
+which was the most upset, Bill Chambers or Smith, the landlord, and Bill,
+who was in a terrible state, asked why it was everything seemed to get
+into his mug.
+
+"P'r'aps you're fond o' dumb animals, sir," ses the conjurer.  "Do you
+'appen to notice your coat-pocket is all of a wriggle?"
+
+He put his 'and to Bill's pocket and took out a little green snake; then
+he put his 'and to Bill's trouser-pocket and took out a frog, while pore
+Bill's eyes looked as if they was corning out o' their sockets.
+
+"Keep still," ses the conjurer; "there's a lot more to come yet."
+
+Bill Chambers gave a 'owl that was dreadful to listen to, and then 'e
+pushed the conjurer away and started undressing 'imself as fast as he
+could move 'is fingers.  I believe he'd ha' taken off 'is shirt if it 'ad
+'ad pockets in it, and then 'e stuck 'is feet close together and 'e kept
+jumping into the air, and coming down on to 'is own clothes in his
+hobnailed boots.
+
+"He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer.  Then he put his
+'and on his 'art and bowed.
+
+"Gentlemen all," he ses.  "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can
+do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall
+give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening
+at seven o'clock; ad--mission, three-pence each."
+
+They didn't understand 'im at fust, but at last they see wot 'e meant,
+and arter explaining to Bill, who was still giving little jumps, they led
+'im up into a corner and coaxed 'im into dressing 'imself agin.  He wanted
+to fight the conjurer, but 'e was that tired 'e could scarcely stand, and
+by-and-by Smith, who 'ad said 'e wouldn't 'ave anything to do with it,
+gave way and said he'd risk it.
+
+The tap-room was crowded that night, but we all 'ad to pay threepence
+each--coining money, I call it.  Some o' the things wot he done was very
+clever, but a'most from the fust start-off there was unpleasantness.
+When he asked somebody to lend 'im a pocket-'andkercher to turn into a
+white rabbit, Henery Walker rushed up and lent 'im 'is, but instead of a
+white rabbit it turned into a black one with two white spots on it, and
+arter Henery Walker 'ad sat for some time puzzling over it 'e got up and
+went off 'ome without saying good-night to a soul.
+
+Then the conjurer borrowed Sam Jones's hat, and arter looking into it for
+some time 'e was that surprised and astonished that Sam Jones lost 'is
+temper and asked 'im whether he 'adn't seen a hat afore.
+
+"Not like this," ses the conjurer.  And 'e pulled out a woman's dress and
+jacket and a pair o' boots.  Then 'e took out a pound or two o' taters
+and some crusts o' bread and other things, and at last 'e gave it back to
+Sam Jones and shook 'is head at 'im, and told 'im if he wasn't very
+careful he'd spoil the shape of it.
+
+Then 'e asked somebody to lend 'im a watch, and, arter he 'ad promised to
+take the greatest care of it, Dicky Weed, the tailor, lent 'im a gold
+watch wot 'ad been left 'im by 'is great-aunt when she died.  Dicky Weed
+thought a great deal o' that watch, and when the conjurer took a
+flat-iron and began to smash it up into little bits it took three men
+to hold 'im down in 'is seat.
+
+"This is the most difficult trick o' the lot," ses the conjurer, picking
+off a wheel wot 'ad stuck to the flat-iron.  "Sometimes I can do it and
+sometimes I can't.  Last time I tried it it was a failure, and it cost me
+eighteenpence and a pint o' beer afore the gentleman the watch 'ad
+belonged to was satisfied.  I gave 'im the bits, too."
+
+"If you don't give me my watch back safe and sound," ses Dicky Weed, in a
+trembling voice, "it'll cost you twenty pounds."
+
+"'Ow much?" ses the conjurer, with a start.  "Well, I wish you'd told me
+that afore you lent it to me.  Eighteenpence is my price."
+
+He stirred the broken bits up with 'is finger and shook his 'ead.
+
+"I've never tried one o' these old-fashioned watches afore," he ses.
+"'Owever, if I fail, gentle-men, it'll be the fust and only trick I've
+failed in to-night.  You can't expect everything to turn out right, but
+if I do fail this time, gentlemen, I'll try it agin if anybody else'll
+lend me another watch."
+
+Dicky Weed tried to speak but couldn't, and 'e sat there, with 'is face
+pale, staring at the pieces of 'is watch on the conjurer's table.  Then
+the conjurer took a big pistol with a trumpet-shaped barrel out of 'is
+box, and arter putting in a charge o' powder picked up the pieces o'
+watch and rammed them in arter it.  We could hear the broken bits grating
+agin the ramrod, and arter he 'ad loaded it 'e walked round and handed it
+to us to look at.
+
+"It's all right," he ses to Dicky Weed; "it's going to be a success; I
+could tell in the loading."
+
+He walked back to the other end of the room and held up the pistol.
+
+"I shall now fire this pistol," 'e ses, "and in so doing mend the watch.
+The explosion of the powder makes the bits o' glass join together agin;
+in flying through the air the wheels go round and round collecting all
+the other parts, and the watch as good as new and ticking away its
+'ardest will be found in the coat-pocket o' the gentleman I shoot at."
+
+He pointed the pistol fust at one and then at another, as if 'e couldn't
+make up 'is mind, and none of 'em seemed to 'ave much liking for it.
+Peter Gubbins told 'im not to shoot at 'im because he 'ad a 'ole in his
+pocket, and Bill Chambers, when it pointed at 'im, up and told 'im to let
+somebody else 'ave a turn.  The only one that didn't flinch was Bob
+Pretty, the biggest poacher and the greatest rascal in Claybury.  He'd
+been making fun o' the tricks all along, saying out loud that he'd seen
+'em all afore--and done better.
+
+"Go on," he ses; "I ain't afraid of you; you can't shoot straight."
+
+The conjurer pointed the pistol at 'im.  Then 'e pulled the trigger and
+the pistol went off bang, and the same moment o' time Bob Pretty jumped
+up with a 'orrible scream, and holding his 'ands over 'is eyes danced
+about as though he'd gone mad.
+
+Everybody started up at once and got round 'im, and asked 'im wot was the
+matter; but Bob didn't answer 'em.  He kept on making a dreadful noise,
+and at last 'e broke out of the room and, holding 'is 'andkercher to 'is
+face, ran off 'ome as 'ard as he could run.
+
+"You've done it now, mate," ses Bill Chambers to the conjurer.  "I
+thought you wouldn't be satisfied till you'd done some 'arm.  You've been
+and blinded pore Bob Pretty."
+
+"Nonsense," ses the conjurer.  "He's frightened, that's all."
+
+"Frightened!"  ses Peter Gubbins.  "Why, you fired Dicky Weed's watch
+straight into 'is face."
+
+"Rubbish," ses the conjurer; "it dropped into 'is pocket, and he'll find
+it there when 'e comes to 'is senses."
+
+"Do you mean to tell me that Bob Pretty 'as gone off with my watch in 'is
+pocket?"  screams Dicky Weed.
+
+"I do," ses the other.
+
+"You'd better get 'old of Bob afore 'e finds it out, Dicky," ses Bill
+Chambers.
+
+Dicky Weed didn't answer 'im; he was already running along to Bob
+Pretty's as fast as 'is legs would take 'im, with most of us follering
+behind to see wot 'appened.
+
+[Illustration: "He was running along to Bob Pretty's as fast as 'is legs
+would take 'im."]
+
+The door was fastened when we got to it, but Dicky Weed banged away at it
+as 'ard as he could bang, and at last the bedroom winder went up and
+Mrs. Pretty stuck her 'ead out.
+
+"H'sh!" she ses, in a whisper.  "Go away."
+
+"I want to see Bob," ses Dicky Weed.
+
+"You can't see 'im," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I'm getting 'im to bed.  He's
+been shot, pore dear.  Can't you 'ear 'im groaning?"
+
+We 'adn't up to then, but a'most direckly arter she 'ad spoke you could
+ha' heard Bob's groans a mile away.  Dreadful, they was.
+
+"There, there, pore dear," ses Mrs. Pretty.
+
+"Shall I come in and 'elp you get 'im to bed?" ses Dicky Weed, 'arf
+crying.
+
+"No, thank you, Mr. Weed," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "It's very kind of you to
+offer, but 'e wouldn't like any hands but mine to touch 'im.  I'll send
+in and let you know 'ow he is fust thing in the morning."
+
+"Try and get 'old of the coat, Dicky," ses Bill Chambers, in a whisper.
+"Offer to mend it for 'im.  It's sure to want it."
+
+"Well, I'm sorry I can't be no 'elp to you," ses Dicky Weed, "but I
+noticed a rent in Bob's coat and, as 'e's likely to be laid up a bit, it
+ud be a good opportunity for me to mend it for 'im.  I won't charge 'im
+nothing.  If you drop it down I'll do it now."
+
+"Thankee," ses Mrs. Pretty; "if you just wait a moment I'll clear the
+pockets out and drop it down to you."
+
+She turned back into the bedroom, and Dicky Weed ground 'is teeth
+together and told Bill Chambers that the next time he took 'is advice
+he'd remember it.  He stood there trembling all over with temper, and
+when Mrs. Pretty came to the winder agin and dropped the coat on his 'ead
+and said that Bob felt his kindness very much, and he 'oped Dicky ud make
+a good job of it, because it was 'is favrite coat, he couldn't speak.
+He stood there shaking all over till Mrs. Pretty 'ad shut the winder down
+agin, and then 'e turned to the conjurer, as 'ad come up with the rest of
+us, and asked 'im wot he was going to do about it now.
+
+"I tell you he's got the watch," ses the conjurer, pointing up at the
+winder.  "It went into 'is pocket.  I saw it go.  He was no more shot
+than you were.  If 'e was, why doesn't he send for the doctor?"
+
+"I can't 'elp that," ses Dicky Weed.  "I want my watch or else twenty
+pounds."
+
+"We'll talk it over in a day or two," ses the conjurer.  "I'm giving my
+celebrated entertainment at Wickham Fair on Monday, but I'll come back
+'ere to the Cauliflower the Saturday before and give another
+entertainment, and then we'll see wot's to be done.  I can't run away,
+because in any case I can't afford to miss the fair."
+
+Dicky Weed gave way at last and went off 'ome to bed and told 'is wife
+about it, and listening to 'er advice he got up at six o'clock in the
+morning and went round to see 'ow Bob Pretty was.
+
+Mrs. Pretty was up when 'e got there, and arter calling up the stairs to
+Bob told Dicky Weed to go upstairs.  Bob Pretty was sitting up in bed
+with 'is face covered in bandages, and he seemed quite pleased to see
+'im.
+
+"It ain't everybody that ud get up at six o'clock to see 'ow I'm getting
+on," he ses.  "You've got a feeling 'art, Dicky."
+
+Dicky Weed coughed and looked round, wondering whether the watch was in
+the room, and, if so, where it was hidden.
+
+"Now I'm 'ere I may as well tidy up the room for you a bit," he ses,
+getting up.  "I don't like sitting idle."
+
+"Thankee, mate," ses Bob; and 'e lay still and watched Dicky Weed out of
+the corner of the eye that wasn't covered with the bandages.
+
+I don't suppose that room 'ad ever been tidied up so thoroughly since the
+Prettys 'ad lived there, but Dicky Weed couldn't see anything o' the
+watch, and wot made 'im more angry than anything else was Mrs. Pretty
+setting down in a chair with 'er 'ands folded in her lap and pointing out
+places that he 'adn't done.
+
+"You leave 'im alone," ses Bob.  "_He knows wot 'e's arter_.  Wot did you
+do with those little bits o' watch you found when you was bandaging me
+up, missis?"
+
+"Don't ask me," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I was in such a state I don't know wot
+I was doing 'ardly."
+
+"Well, they must be about somewhere," ses Bob.  "You 'ave a look for 'em,
+Dicky, and if you find 'em, keep 'em.  They belong to you."
+
+Dicky Weed tried to be civil and thank 'im, and then he went off 'ome and
+talked it over with 'is wife agin.  People couldn't make up their minds
+whether Bob Pretty 'ad found the watch in 'is pocket and was shamming, or
+whether 'e was really shot, but they was all quite certain that,
+whichever way it was, Dicky Weed would never see 'is watch agin.
+
+On the Saturday evening this 'ere Cauliflower public-'ouse was crowded,
+everybody being anxious to see the watch trick done over agin.  We had
+'eard that it 'ad been done all right at Cudford and Monksham; but Bob
+Pretty said as 'ow he'd believe it when 'e saw it, and not afore.
+
+He was one o' the fust to turn up that night, because 'e said 'e wanted
+to know wot the conjurer was going to pay him for all 'is pain and
+suffering and having things said about 'is character.  He came in leaning
+on a stick, with 'is face still bandaged, and sat right up close to the
+conjurer's table, and watched him as 'ard as he could as 'e went through
+'is tricks.
+
+"And now," ses the conjurer, at last, "I come to my celebrated watch
+trick.  Some of you as wos 'ere last Tuesday when I did it will remember
+that the man I fired the pistol at pretended that 'e'd been shot and run
+off 'ome with it in 'is pocket."
+
+"You're a liar!"  ses Bob Pretty, standing up.  "Very good," ses the
+conjurer; "you take that bandage off and show us all where you're hurt."
+
+"I shall do nothing o' the kind," ses Bob.  I don't take my orders from
+you."
+
+"Take the bandage off," ses the conjurer, "and if there's any shot marks
+I'll give you a couple o' sovereigns."
+
+"I'm afraid of the air getting to it," ses Bob Pretty.
+
+"You don't want to be afraid o' that, Bob," ses John Biggs, the
+blacksmith, coming up behind and putting 'is great arms round 'im.  "Take
+off that rag, somebody; I've got hold of 'im."
+
+Bob Pretty started to struggle at fust, but then, seeing it was no good,
+kept quite quiet while they took off the bandages.
+
+"There!  look at 'im," ses the conjurer, pointing.  "Not a mark on 'is
+face, not one."
+
+"Wet!" ses Bob Pretty.  "Do you mean to say there's no marks?"
+
+"I do," ses the conjurer.
+
+"Thank goodness," ses Bob Pretty, clasping his 'ands.  "Thank goodness!
+I was afraid I was disfigured for life.  Lend me a bit o' looking-glass,
+somebody.  I can 'ardly believe it."
+
+"You stole Dicky Weed's watch," ses John Biggs.  "I 'ad my suspicions of
+you all along.  You're a thief, Bob Pretty.  That's wot you are."
+
+"Prove it," ses Bob Pretty.  "You 'eard wot the conjurer said the other
+night, that the last time he tried 'e failed, and 'ad to give
+eighteenpence to the man wot the watch 'ad belonged to."
+
+"That was by way of a joke like," ses the conjurer to John Biggs.  "I can
+always do it.  I'm going to do it now.  Will somebody 'ave the kindness
+to lend me a watch?"
+
+He looked all round the room, but nobody offered--except other men's
+watches, wot wouldn't lend 'em.
+
+"Come, come," he ses; "ain't none of you got any trust in me?  It'll be
+as safe as if it was in your pocket.  I want to prove to you that this
+man is a thief."
+
+He asked 'em agin, and at last John Biggs took out 'is silver watch and
+offered it to 'im on the understanding that 'e was on no account to fire
+it into Bob Pretty's pocket.
+
+"Not likely," ses the conjurer.  "Now, everybody take a good look at this
+watch, so as to make sure there's no deceiving."
+
+He 'anded it round, and arter everybody 'ad taken a look at it 'e took it
+up to the table and laid it down.
+
+"Let me 'ave a look at it," ses Bob Pretty, going up to the table.  "I'm
+not going to 'ave my good name took away for nothing if I can 'elp it."
+
+He took it up and looked at it, and arter 'olding it to 'is ear put it
+down agin.
+
+"Is that the flat-iron it's going to be smashed with?"  he ses.
+
+"It is," ses the conjurer, looking at 'im nasty like; "p'r'aps you'd like
+to examine it."
+
+Bob Pretty took it and looked at it. "Yes, mates," he ses, "it's a
+ordinary flat-iron.  You couldn't 'ave anything better for smashing a
+watch with."
+
+He 'eld it up in the air and, afore anybody could move, brought it down
+bang on the face o' the watch.  The conjurer sprang at 'im and caught at
+'is arm, but it was too late, and in a terrible state o' mind 'e turned
+round to John Biggs.
+
+[Illustration: "Afore anybody could move, he brought it down bang on the
+face o' the watch."]
+
+"He's smashed your watch," he ses; "he's smashed your watch."
+
+"Well," ses John Biggs, "it 'ad got to be smashed, 'adn't it?"
+
+"Yes, but not by 'im," ses the conjurer, dancing about.  "I wash my 'ands
+of it now."
+
+"Look 'ere," ses John Biggs; "don't you talk to me about washing your
+'ands of it.  You finish your trick and give me my watch back agin same
+as it was afore."
+
+"Not now he's been interfering with it," ses the conjurer.  "He'd better
+do the trick now as he's so clever."
+
+"I'd sooner 'ave you do it," ses John Biggs.  "Wot did you let 'im
+interfere for?"
+
+"'Ow was I to know wot 'e was going to do?"  ses the conjurer.  "You must
+settle it between you now.  I'll 'ave nothing more to do with it."
+
+"All right, John Biggs," ses Bob Pretty; "if 'e won't do it, I will.  If
+it can be done, I don't s'pose it matters who does it.  I don't think
+anybody could smash up a watch better than that."
+
+John Biggs looked at it, and then 'e asked the conjurer once more to do
+the trick, but 'e wouldn't.
+
+"It can't be done now," he ses; "and I warn you that if that pistol is
+fired I won't be responsible for what'll 'appen."
+
+"George Kettle shall load the pistol and fire it if 'e won't," ses Bob
+Pretty.  "'Aving been in the Militia, there couldn't be a better man for
+the job."
+
+George Kettle walked up to the table as red as fire at being praised like
+that afore people and started loading the pistol.  He seemed to be more
+awkward about it than the conjurer 'ad been the last time, and he 'ad to
+roll the watch-cases up with the flat-iron afore 'e could get 'em in.
+But 'e loaded it at last and stood waiting.
+
+"Don't shoot at me, George Kettle," ses Bob.  "I've been called a thief
+once, and I don't want to be agin."
+
+"Put that pistol down, you fool, afore you do mischief," ses the
+conjurer.
+
+"Who shall I shoot at?"  ses George Kettle, raising the pistol.
+
+"Better fire at the conjurer, I think," ses Bob Pretty; "and if things
+'appen as he says they will 'appen, the watch ought to be found in 'is
+coat-pocket."
+
+"Where is he?"  ses George, looking round.
+
+Bill Chambers laid 'old of 'im just as he was going through the door to
+fetch the landlord, and the scream 'e gave as he came back and George
+Kettle pointed the pistol at 'im was awful.
+
+[Illustration: "The scream 'e gave as George Kettle pointed the pistol at
+'im was awful."]
+
+"It's no worse for you than it was for me," ses Bob.
+
+"Put it down," screams the conjurer; "put it down.  You'll kill 'arf the
+men in the room if it goes off."
+
+"Be careful where you aim, George," ses Sam Jones.  "P'r'aps he'd better
+'ave a chair all by hisself in the middle of the room."
+
+It was all very well for Sam Jones to talk, but the conjurer wouldn't sit
+on a chair by 'imself.  He wouldn't sit on it at all.  He seemed to be
+all legs and arms, and the way 'e struggled it took four or five men to
+'old 'im.
+
+"Why don't you keep still?"  ses John Biggs.  "George Kettle'll shoot it
+in your pocket all right.  He's the best shot in Claybury."
+
+"Help!  Murder!" says the conjurer, struggling.  "He'll kill me.  Nobody
+can do the trick but me."
+
+"But you say you won't do it," ses John Biggs.  "Not now," ses the
+conjurer; "I can't."
+
+"Well, I'm not going to 'ave my watch lost through want of trying," ses
+John Biggs.  "Tie 'im to the chair, mates."
+
+"All right, then," ses the conjurer, very pale.  "Don't tie me; I'll sit
+still all right if you like, but you'd better bring the chair outside in
+case of accidents.  Bring it in the front."
+
+George Kettle said it was all nonsense, but the conjurer said the trick
+was always better done in the open air, and at last they gave way and
+took 'im and the chair outside.
+
+"Now," ses the conjurer, as 'e sat down, "all of you go and stand near
+the man woe's going to shoot.  When I say 'Three,' fire.  Why!  there's
+the watch on the ground there!"
+
+He pointed with 'is finger, and as they all looked down he jumped up out
+o' that chair and set off on the road to Wickham as 'ard as 'e could run.
+It was so sudden that nobody knew wot 'ad 'appened for a moment, and then
+George Kettle, wot 'ad been looking with the rest, turned round and
+pulled the trigger.
+
+There was a bang that pretty nigh deafened us, and the back o' the chair
+was blown nearly out.  By the time we'd got our senses agin the conjurer
+was a'most out o' sight, and Bob Pretty was explaining to John Biggs wot
+a good job it was 'is watch 'adn't been a gold one.
+
+"That's wot comes o' trusting a foreigner afore a man wot you've known
+all your life," he ses, shaking his 'ead.  "I 'ope the next man wot tries
+to take my good name away won't get off so easy.  I felt all along the
+trick couldn't be done; it stands to reason it couldn't.  I done my best,
+too."
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
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+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Odd Craft
+    By W. W. Jacobs: Part 13.
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+        margin-top:    .75em;
+        text-align:    justify;
+        margin-bottom: .75em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+    HR  { width: 33%; }
+    PRE { font-family: cursive}
+    .toc  { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;}
+    CENTER { padding: 10px;}
+    // -->
+</style>
+
+
+</head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Odd Charges
+       Odd Craft, Part 13.
+
+Author: W.W. Jacobs
+
+Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12213]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ODD CHARGES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" />
+</center>
+<br><br>
+<br /><br />
+<h2>
+    1909
+</h2>
+
+<center>
+<h3>PART 13.</h3>
+</center>
+
+<br /><br />
+<hr>
+<br /><br />
+
+
+<h2>List of Illustrations</h2>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-63">
+"Seated at his Ease in the Warm Tap-room of The
+Cauliflower."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-64">
+"Putting his 'and to Bill's Mug, he Took out a Live
+Frog."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-65">
+"He Was Running Along to Bob Pretty's As Fast As 'is Legs
+Would Take 'im."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-66">
+"Afore Anybody Could Move, he Brought It Down Bang on The
+Face O' the Watch."
+</a></p>
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-67">
+"The Scream 'e Gave As George Kettle Pointed the Pistol At
+'im Was Awful."
+</a></p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<br /><br />
+<hr>
+<br /><br />
+
+
+
+
+
+<a name="2H_4_13"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h2>
+    ODD CHARGES
+</h2>
+<p>
+    Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the Cauliflower, the stranger
+    had been eating and drinking for some time, apparently unconscious of the
+    presence of the withered ancient who, huddled up in that corner of the
+    settle which was nearer to the fire, fidgeted restlessly with an empty
+    mug and blew with pathetic insistence through a churchwarden pipe which
+    had long been cold.  The stranger finished his meal with a sigh of
+    content and then, rising from his chair, crossed over to the settle and,
+    placing his mug on the time-worn table before him, began to fill his
+    pipe.
+</p>
+<a name="image-63"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="063.jpg" height="459" width="562"
+alt="'seated at his Ease in the Warm Tap-room of The
+Cauliflower.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    The old man took a spill from the table and, holding it with trembling
+    fingers to the blaze, gave him a light.  The other thanked him, and then,
+    leaning back in his corner of the settle, watched the smoke of his pipe
+    through half-closed eyes, and assented drowsily to the old man's remarks
+    upon the weather.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Bad time o' the year for going about," said the latter, "though I s'pose
+    if you can eat and drink as much as you want it don't matter.  I s'pose
+    you mightn't be a conjurer from London, sir?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    The traveller shook his head.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I was 'oping you might be," said the old man.  The other manifested no
+    curiosity.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "If you 'ad been," said the old man, with a sigh, "I should ha' asked you
+    to ha' done something useful.  Gin'rally speaking, conjurers do things
+    that are no use to anyone; wot I should like to see a conjurer do would
+    be to make this 'ere empty mug full o' beer and this empty pipe full o'
+    shag tobacco.  That's wot I should ha' made bold to ask you to do if
+    you'd been one."
+</p>
+<p>
+    The traveller sighed, and, taking his short briar pipe from his mouth by
+    the bowl, rapped three times upon the table with it.  In a very short
+    time a mug of ale and a paper cylinder of shag appeared on the table
+    before the old man.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Wot put me in mind o' your being a conjurer," said the latter, filling
+    his pipe after a satisfying draught from the mug, "is that you're
+    uncommon like one that come to Claybury some time back and give a
+    performance in this very room where we're now a-sitting.  So far as
+    looks go, you might be his brother."
+</p>
+<p>
+    The traveller said that he never had a brother.
+</p>
+<p>
+    We didn't know 'e was a conjurer at fust, said the old man.  He 'ad come
+    down for Wickham Fair and, being a day or two before 'and, 'e was going
+    to different villages round about to give performances.  He came into the
+    bar 'ere and ordered a mug o' beer, and while 'e was a-drinking of it
+    stood talking about the weather.  Then 'e asked Bill Chambers to excuse
+    'im for taking the liberty, and, putting his 'and to Bill's mug, took out
+    a live frog.  Bill was a very partikler man about wot 'e drunk, and I
+    thought he'd ha' had a fit.  He went on at Smith, the landlord, something
+    shocking, and at last, for the sake o' peace and quietness, Smith gave
+    'im another pint to make up for it.
+</p>
+<a name="image-64"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="064.jpg" height="567" width="576"
+alt="'putting his 'and to Bill's Mug, he Took out a Live
+Frog.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    "It must ha' been asleep in the mug," he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bill said that 'e thought 'e knew who must ha' been asleep, and was just
+    going to take a drink, when the conjurer asked 'im to excuse 'im agin.
+    Bill put down the mug in a 'urry, and the conjurer put his 'and to the
+    mug and took out a dead mouse.  It would ha' been a 'ard thing to say
+    which was the most upset, Bill Chambers or Smith, the landlord, and Bill,
+    who was in a terrible state, asked why it was everything seemed to get
+    into his mug.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "P'r'aps you're fond o' dumb animals, sir," ses the conjurer.  "Do you
+    'appen to notice your coat-pocket is all of a wriggle?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    He put his 'and to Bill's pocket and took out a little green snake; then
+    he put his 'and to Bill's trouser-pocket and took out a frog, while pore
+    Bill's eyes looked as if they was corning out o' their sockets.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Keep still," ses the conjurer; "there's a lot more to come yet."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bill Chambers gave a 'owl that was dreadful to listen to, and then 'e
+    pushed the conjurer away and started undressing 'imself as fast as he
+    could move 'is fingers.  I believe he'd ha' taken off 'is shirt if it 'ad
+    'ad pockets in it, and then 'e stuck 'is feet close together and 'e kept
+    jumping into the air, and coming down on to 'is own clothes in his
+    hobnailed boots.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer.  Then he put his
+    'and on his 'art and bowed.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Gentlemen all," he ses.  "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can
+    do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall
+    give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening
+    at seven o'clock; ad&mdash;mission, three-pence each."
+</p>
+<p>
+    They didn't understand 'im at fust, but at last they see wot 'e meant,
+    and arter explaining to Bill, who was still giving little jumps, they led
+    'im up into a corner and coaxed 'im into dressing 'imself agin.  He wanted
+    to fight the conjurer, but 'e was that tired 'e could scarcely stand, and
+    by-and-by Smith, who 'ad said 'e wouldn't 'ave anything to do with it,
+    gave way and said he'd risk it.
+</p>
+<p>
+    The tap-room was crowded that night, but we all 'ad to pay threepence
+    each&mdash;coining money, I call it.  Some o' the things wot he done was very
+    clever, but a'most from the fust start-off there was unpleasantness.
+    When he asked somebody to lend 'im a pocket-'andkercher to turn into a
+    white rabbit, Henery Walker rushed up and lent 'im 'is, but instead of a
+    white rabbit it turned into a black one with two white spots on it, and
+    arter Henery Walker 'ad sat for some time puzzling over it 'e got up and
+    went off 'ome without saying good-night to a soul.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Then the conjurer borrowed Sam Jones's hat, and arter looking into it for
+    some time 'e was that surprised and astonished that Sam Jones lost 'is
+    temper and asked 'im whether he 'adn't seen a hat afore.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Not like this," ses the conjurer.  And 'e pulled out a woman's dress and
+    jacket and a pair o' boots.  Then 'e took out a pound or two o' taters
+    and some crusts o' bread and other things, and at last 'e gave it back to
+    Sam Jones and shook 'is head at 'im, and told 'im if he wasn't very
+    careful he'd spoil the shape of it.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Then 'e asked somebody to lend 'im a watch, and, arter he 'ad promised to
+    take the greatest care of it, Dicky Weed, the tailor, lent 'im a gold
+    watch wot 'ad been left 'im by 'is great-aunt when she died.  Dicky Weed
+    thought a great deal o' that watch, and when the conjurer took a
+    flat-iron and began to smash it up into little bits it took three men
+    to hold 'im down in 'is seat.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "This is the most difficult trick o' the lot," ses the conjurer, picking
+    off a wheel wot 'ad stuck to the flat-iron.  "Sometimes I can do it and
+    sometimes I can't.  Last time I tried it it was a failure, and it cost me
+    eighteenpence and a pint o' beer afore the gentleman the watch 'ad
+    belonged to was satisfied.  I gave 'im the bits, too."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "If you don't give me my watch back safe and sound," ses Dicky Weed, in a
+    trembling voice, "it'll cost you twenty pounds."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "'Ow much?" ses the conjurer, with a start.  "Well, I wish you'd told me
+    that afore you lent it to me.  Eighteenpence is my price."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He stirred the broken bits up with 'is finger and shook his 'ead.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I've never tried one o' these old-fashioned watches afore," he ses.
+    "'Owever, if I fail, gentle-men, it'll be the fust and only trick I've
+    failed in to-night.  You can't expect everything to turn out right, but
+    if I do fail this time, gentlemen, I'll try it agin if anybody else'll
+    lend me another watch."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed tried to speak but couldn't, and 'e sat there, with 'is face
+    pale, staring at the pieces of 'is watch on the conjurer's table.  Then
+    the conjurer took a big pistol with a trumpet-shaped barrel out of 'is
+    box, and arter putting in a charge o' powder picked up the pieces o'
+    watch and rammed them in arter it.  We could hear the broken bits grating
+    agin the ramrod, and arter he 'ad loaded it 'e walked round and handed it
+    to us to look at.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It's all right," he ses to Dicky Weed; "it's going to be a success; I
+    could tell in the loading."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He walked back to the other end of the room and held up the pistol.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I shall now fire this pistol," 'e ses, "and in so doing mend the watch.
+    The explosion of the powder makes the bits o' glass join together agin;
+    in flying through the air the wheels go round and round collecting all
+    the other parts, and the watch as good as new and ticking away its
+    'ardest will be found in the coat-pocket o' the gentleman I shoot at."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He pointed the pistol fust at one and then at another, as if 'e couldn't
+    make up 'is mind, and none of 'em seemed to 'ave much liking for it.
+    Peter Gubbins told 'im not to shoot at 'im because he 'ad a 'ole in his
+    pocket, and Bill Chambers, when it pointed at 'im, up and told 'im to let
+    somebody else 'ave a turn.  The only one that didn't flinch was Bob
+    Pretty, the biggest poacher and the greatest rascal in Claybury.  He'd
+    been making fun o' the tricks all along, saying out loud that he'd seen
+    'em all afore&mdash;and done better.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Go on," he ses; "I ain't afraid of you; you can't shoot straight."
+</p>
+<p>
+    The conjurer pointed the pistol at 'im.  Then 'e pulled the trigger and
+    the pistol went off bang, and the same moment o' time Bob Pretty jumped
+    up with a 'orrible scream, and holding his 'ands over 'is eyes danced
+    about as though he'd gone mad.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Everybody started up at once and got round 'im, and asked 'im wot was the
+    matter; but Bob didn't answer 'em.  He kept on making a dreadful noise,
+    and at last 'e broke out of the room and, holding 'is 'andkercher to 'is
+    face, ran off 'ome as 'ard as he could run.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You've done it now, mate," ses Bill Chambers to the conjurer.  "I
+    thought you wouldn't be satisfied till you'd done some 'arm.  You've been
+    and blinded pore Bob Pretty."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Nonsense," ses the conjurer.  "He's frightened, that's all."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Frightened!"  ses Peter Gubbins.  "Why, you fired Dicky Weed's watch
+    straight into 'is face."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Rubbish," ses the conjurer; "it dropped into 'is pocket, and he'll find
+    it there when 'e comes to 'is senses."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Do you mean to tell me that Bob Pretty 'as gone off with my watch in 'is
+    pocket?"  screams Dicky Weed.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I do," ses the other.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You'd better get 'old of Bob afore 'e finds it out, Dicky," ses Bill
+    Chambers.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed didn't answer 'im; he was already running along to Bob
+    Pretty's as fast as 'is legs would take 'im, with most of us follering
+    behind to see wot 'appened.
+</p>
+<a name="image-65"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="065.jpg" height="612" width="586"
+alt="'he Was Running Along to Bob Pretty's As Fast As 'is Legs
+Would Take 'im.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    The door was fastened when we got to it, but Dicky Weed banged away at it
+    as 'ard as he could bang, and at last the bedroom winder went up and
+    Mrs. Pretty stuck her 'ead out.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "H'sh!" she ses, in a whisper.  "Go away."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I want to see Bob," ses Dicky Weed.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You can't see 'im," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I'm getting 'im to bed.  He's
+    been shot, pore dear.  Can't you 'ear 'im groaning?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    We 'adn't up to then, but a'most direckly arter she 'ad spoke you could
+    ha' heard Bob's groans a mile away.  Dreadful, they was.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "There, there, pore dear," ses Mrs. Pretty.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Shall I come in and 'elp you get 'im to bed?" ses Dicky Weed, 'arf
+    crying.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "No, thank you, Mr. Weed," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "It's very kind of you to
+    offer, but 'e wouldn't like any hands but mine to touch 'im.  I'll send
+    in and let you know 'ow he is fust thing in the morning."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Try and get 'old of the coat, Dicky," ses Bill Chambers, in a whisper.
+    "Offer to mend it for 'im.  It's sure to want it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well, I'm sorry I can't be no 'elp to you," ses Dicky Weed, "but I
+    noticed a rent in Bob's coat and, as 'e's likely to be laid up a bit, it
+    ud be a good opportunity for me to mend it for 'im.  I won't charge 'im
+    nothing.  If you drop it down I'll do it now."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Thankee," ses Mrs. Pretty; "if you just wait a moment I'll clear the
+    pockets out and drop it down to you."
+</p>
+<p>
+    She turned back into the bedroom, and Dicky Weed ground 'is teeth
+    together and told Bill Chambers that the next time he took 'is advice
+    he'd remember it.  He stood there trembling all over with temper, and
+    when Mrs. Pretty came to the winder agin and dropped the coat on his 'ead
+    and said that Bob felt his kindness very much, and he 'oped Dicky ud make
+    a good job of it, because it was 'is favrite coat, he couldn't speak.
+    He stood there shaking all over till Mrs. Pretty 'ad shut the winder down
+    agin, and then 'e turned to the conjurer, as 'ad come up with the rest of
+    us, and asked 'im wot he was going to do about it now.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I tell you he's got the watch," ses the conjurer, pointing up at the
+    winder.  "It went into 'is pocket.  I saw it go.  He was no more shot
+    than you were.  If 'e was, why doesn't he send for the doctor?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I can't 'elp that," ses Dicky Weed.  "I want my watch or else twenty
+    pounds."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "We'll talk it over in a day or two," ses the conjurer.  "I'm giving my
+    celebrated entertainment at Wickham Fair on Monday, but I'll come back
+    'ere to the Cauliflower the Saturday before and give another
+    entertainment, and then we'll see wot's to be done.  I can't run away,
+    because in any case I can't afford to miss the fair."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed gave way at last and went off 'ome to bed and told 'is wife
+    about it, and listening to 'er advice he got up at six o'clock in the
+    morning and went round to see 'ow Bob Pretty was.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Mrs. Pretty was up when 'e got there, and arter calling up the stairs to
+    Bob told Dicky Weed to go upstairs.  Bob Pretty was sitting up in bed
+    with 'is face covered in bandages, and he seemed quite pleased to see
+    'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It ain't everybody that ud get up at six o'clock to see 'ow I'm getting
+    on," he ses.  "You've got a feeling 'art, Dicky."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed coughed and looked round, wondering whether the watch was in
+    the room, and, if so, where it was hidden.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Now I'm 'ere I may as well tidy up the room for you a bit," he ses,
+    getting up.  "I don't like sitting idle."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Thankee, mate," ses Bob; and 'e lay still and watched Dicky Weed out of
+    the corner of the eye that wasn't covered with the bandages.
+</p>
+<p>
+    I don't suppose that room 'ad ever been tidied up so thoroughly since the
+    Prettys 'ad lived there, but Dicky Weed couldn't see anything o' the
+    watch, and wot made 'im more angry than anything else was Mrs. Pretty
+    setting down in a chair with 'er 'ands folded in her lap and pointing out
+    places that he 'adn't done.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You leave 'im alone," ses Bob.  "<i>He knows wot 'e's arter</i>.  Wot did you
+    do with those little bits o' watch you found when you was bandaging me
+    up, missis?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Don't ask me," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I was in such a state I don't know wot
+    I was doing 'ardly."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well, they must be about somewhere," ses Bob.  "You 'ave a look for 'em,
+    Dicky, and if you find 'em, keep 'em.  They belong to you."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Dicky Weed tried to be civil and thank 'im, and then he went off 'ome and
+    talked it over with 'is wife agin.  People couldn't make up their minds
+    whether Bob Pretty 'ad found the watch in 'is pocket and was shamming, or
+    whether 'e was really shot, but they was all quite certain that,
+    whichever way it was, Dicky Weed would never see 'is watch agin.
+</p>
+<p>
+    On the Saturday evening this 'ere Cauliflower public-'ouse was crowded,
+    everybody being anxious to see the watch trick done over agin.  We had
+    'eard that it 'ad been done all right at Cudford and Monksham; but Bob
+    Pretty said as 'ow he'd believe it when 'e saw it, and not afore.
+</p>
+<p>
+    He was one o' the fust to turn up that night, because 'e said 'e wanted
+    to know wot the conjurer was going to pay him for all 'is pain and
+    suffering and having things said about 'is character.  He came in leaning
+    on a stick, with 'is face still bandaged, and sat right up close to the
+    conjurer's table, and watched him as 'ard as he could as 'e went through
+    'is tricks.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "And now," ses the conjurer, at last, "I come to my celebrated watch
+    trick.  Some of you as wos 'ere last Tuesday when I did it will remember
+    that the man I fired the pistol at pretended that 'e'd been shot and run
+    off 'ome with it in 'is pocket."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You're a liar!"  ses Bob Pretty, standing up.  "Very good," ses the
+    conjurer; "you take that bandage off and show us all where you're hurt."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I shall do nothing o' the kind," ses Bob.  I don't take my orders from
+    you."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Take the bandage off," ses the conjurer, "and if there's any shot marks
+    I'll give you a couple o' sovereigns."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I'm afraid of the air getting to it," ses Bob Pretty.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You don't want to be afraid o' that, Bob," ses John Biggs, the
+    blacksmith, coming up behind and putting 'is great arms round 'im.  "Take
+    off that rag, somebody; I've got hold of 'im."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bob Pretty started to struggle at fust, but then, seeing it was no good,
+    kept quite quiet while they took off the bandages.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "There!  look at 'im," ses the conjurer, pointing.  "Not a mark on 'is
+    face, not one."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Wet!" ses Bob Pretty.  "Do you mean to say there's no marks?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I do," ses the conjurer.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Thank goodness," ses Bob Pretty, clasping his 'ands.  "Thank goodness!
+    I was afraid I was disfigured for life.  Lend me a bit o' looking-glass,
+    somebody.  I can 'ardly believe it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "You stole Dicky Weed's watch," ses John Biggs.  "I 'ad my suspicions of
+    you all along.  You're a thief, Bob Pretty.  That's wot you are."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Prove it," ses Bob Pretty.  "You 'eard wot the conjurer said the other
+    night, that the last time he tried 'e failed, and 'ad to give
+    eighteenpence to the man wot the watch 'ad belonged to."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "That was by way of a joke like," ses the conjurer to John Biggs.  "I can
+    always do it.  I'm going to do it now.  Will somebody 'ave the kindness
+    to lend me a watch?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    He looked all round the room, but nobody offered&mdash;except other men's
+    watches, wot wouldn't lend 'em.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Come, come," he ses; "ain't none of you got any trust in me?  It'll be
+    as safe as if it was in your pocket.  I want to prove to you that this
+    man is a thief."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He asked 'em agin, and at last John Biggs took out 'is silver watch and
+    offered it to 'im on the understanding that 'e was on no account to fire
+    it into Bob Pretty's pocket.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Not likely," ses the conjurer.  "Now, everybody take a good look at this
+    watch, so as to make sure there's no deceiving."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He 'anded it round, and arter everybody 'ad taken a look at it 'e took it
+    up to the table and laid it down.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Let me 'ave a look at it," ses Bob Pretty, going up to the table.  "I'm
+    not going to 'ave my good name took away for nothing if I can 'elp it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He took it up and looked at it, and arter 'olding it to 'is ear put it
+    down agin.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Is that the flat-iron it's going to be smashed with?"  he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It is," ses the conjurer, looking at 'im nasty like; "p'r'aps you'd like
+    to examine it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bob Pretty took it and looked at it. "Yes, mates," he ses, "it's a
+    ordinary flat-iron.  You couldn't 'ave anything better for smashing a
+    watch with."
+</p>
+<p>
+    He 'eld it up in the air and, afore anybody could move, brought it down
+    bang on the face o' the watch.  The conjurer sprang at 'im and caught at
+    'is arm, but it was too late, and in a terrible state o' mind 'e turned
+    round to John Biggs.
+</p>
+<a name="image-66"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="066.jpg" height="606" width="564"
+alt="'afore Anybody Could Move, he Brought It Down Bang on The
+Face O' the Watch.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    "He's smashed your watch," he ses; "he's smashed your watch."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well," ses John Biggs, "it 'ad got to be smashed, 'adn't it?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Yes, but not by 'im," ses the conjurer, dancing about.  "I wash my 'ands
+    of it now."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Look 'ere," ses John Biggs; "don't you talk to me about washing your
+    'ands of it.  You finish your trick and give me my watch back agin same
+    as it was afore."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Not now he's been interfering with it," ses the conjurer.  "He'd better
+    do the trick now as he's so clever."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "I'd sooner 'ave you do it," ses John Biggs.  "Wot did you let 'im
+    interfere for?"
+</p>
+<p>
+    "'Ow was I to know wot 'e was going to do?"  ses the conjurer.  "You must
+    settle it between you now.  I'll 'ave nothing more to do with it."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "All right, John Biggs," ses Bob Pretty; "if 'e won't do it, I will.  If
+    it can be done, I don't s'pose it matters who does it.  I don't think
+    anybody could smash up a watch better than that."
+</p>
+<p>
+    John Biggs looked at it, and then 'e asked the conjurer once more to do
+    the trick, but 'e wouldn't.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "It can't be done now," he ses; "and I warn you that if that pistol is
+    fired I won't be responsible for what'll 'appen."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "George Kettle shall load the pistol and fire it if 'e won't," ses Bob
+    Pretty.  "'Aving been in the Militia, there couldn't be a better man for
+    the job."
+</p>
+<p>
+    George Kettle walked up to the table as red as fire at being praised like
+    that afore people and started loading the pistol.  He seemed to be more
+    awkward about it than the conjurer 'ad been the last time, and he 'ad to
+    roll the watch-cases up with the flat-iron afore 'e could get 'em in.
+    But 'e loaded it at last and stood waiting.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Don't shoot at me, George Kettle," ses Bob.  "I've been called a thief
+    once, and I don't want to be agin."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Put that pistol down, you fool, afore you do mischief," ses the
+    conjurer.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Who shall I shoot at?"  ses George Kettle, raising the pistol.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Better fire at the conjurer, I think," ses Bob Pretty; "and if things
+    'appen as he says they will 'appen, the watch ought to be found in 'is
+    coat-pocket."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Where is he?"  ses George, looking round.
+</p>
+<p>
+    Bill Chambers laid 'old of 'im just as he was going through the door to
+    fetch the landlord, and the scream 'e gave as he came back and George
+    Kettle pointed the pistol at 'im was awful.
+</p>
+<a name="image-67"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="067.jpg" height="595" width="581"
+alt="'the Scream 'e Gave As George Kettle Pointed the Pistol At
+'im Was Awful.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+    "It's no worse for you than it was for me," ses Bob.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Put it down," screams the conjurer; "put it down.  You'll kill 'arf the
+    men in the room if it goes off."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Be careful where you aim, George," ses Sam Jones.  "P'r'aps he'd better
+    'ave a chair all by hisself in the middle of the room."
+</p>
+<p>
+    It was all very well for Sam Jones to talk, but the conjurer wouldn't sit
+    on a chair by 'imself.  He wouldn't sit on it at all.  He seemed to be
+    all legs and arms, and the way 'e struggled it took four or five men to
+    'old 'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Why don't you keep still?"  ses John Biggs.  "George Kettle'll shoot it
+    in your pocket all right.  He's the best shot in Claybury."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Help!  Murder!" says the conjurer, struggling.  "He'll kill me.  Nobody
+    can do the trick but me."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "But you say you won't do it," ses John Biggs.  "Not now," ses the
+    conjurer; "I can't."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Well, I'm not going to 'ave my watch lost through want of trying," ses
+    John Biggs.  "Tie 'im to the chair, mates."
+</p>
+<p>
+    "All right, then," ses the conjurer, very pale.  "Don't tie me; I'll sit
+    still all right if you like, but you'd better bring the chair outside in
+    case of accidents.  Bring it in the front."
+</p>
+<p>
+    George Kettle said it was all nonsense, but the conjurer said the trick
+    was always better done in the open air, and at last they gave way and
+    took 'im and the chair outside.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "Now," ses the conjurer, as 'e sat down, "all of you go and stand near
+    the man woe's going to shoot.  When I say 'Three,' fire.  Why!  there's
+    the watch on the ground there!"
+</p>
+<p>
+    He pointed with 'is finger, and as they all looked down he jumped up out
+    o' that chair and set off on the road to Wickham as 'ard as 'e could run.
+    It was so sudden that nobody knew wot 'ad 'appened for a moment, and then
+    George Kettle, wot 'ad been looking with the rest, turned round and
+    pulled the trigger.
+</p>
+<p>
+    There was a bang that pretty nigh deafened us, and the back o' the chair
+    was blown nearly out.  By the time we'd got our senses agin the conjurer
+    was a'most out o' sight, and Bob Pretty was explaining to John Biggs wot
+    a good job it was 'is watch 'adn't been a gold one.
+</p>
+<p>
+    "That's wot comes o' trusting a foreigner afore a man wot you've known
+    all your life," he ses, shaking his 'ead.  "I 'ope the next man wot tries
+    to take my good name away won't get off so easy.  I felt all along the
+    trick couldn't be done; it stands to reason it couldn't.  I done my best,
+    too."
+</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Odd Charges
+       Odd Craft, Part 13.
+
+Author: W.W. Jacobs
+
+Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12213]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ODD CHARGES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+ODD CRAFT
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+
+ODD CHARGES
+
+Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the Cauliflower, the stranger
+had been eating and drinking for some time, apparently unconscious of the
+presence of the withered ancient who, huddled up in that corner of the
+settle which was nearer to the fire, fidgeted restlessly with an empty
+mug and blew with pathetic insistence through a churchwarden pipe which
+had long been cold.  The stranger finished his meal with a sigh of
+content and then, rising from his chair, crossed over to the settle and,
+placing his mug on the time-worn table before him, began to fill his
+pipe.
+
+[Illustration: "Seated at his ease in the warm tap-room of the
+Cauliflower."]
+
+The old man took a spill from the table and, holding it with trembling
+fingers to the blaze, gave him a light.  The other thanked him, and then,
+leaning back in his corner of the settle, watched the smoke of his pipe
+through half-closed eyes, and assented drowsily to the old man's remarks
+upon the weather.
+
+"Bad time o' the year for going about," said the latter, "though I s'pose
+if you can eat and drink as much as you want it don't matter.  I s'pose
+you mightn't be a conjurer from London, sir?"
+
+The traveller shook his head.
+
+"I was 'oping you might be," said the old man.  The other manifested no
+curiosity.
+
+"If you 'ad been," said the old man, with a sigh, "I should ha' asked you
+to ha' done something useful.  Gin'rally speaking, conjurers do things
+that are no use to anyone; wot I should like to see a conjurer do would
+be to make this 'ere empty mug full o' beer and this empty pipe full o'
+shag tobacco.  That's wot I should ha' made bold to ask you to do if
+you'd been one."
+
+The traveller sighed, and, taking his short briar pipe from his mouth by
+the bowl, rapped three times upon the table with it.  In a very short
+time a mug of ale and a paper cylinder of shag appeared on the table
+before the old man.
+
+"Wot put me in mind o' your being a conjurer," said the latter, filling
+his pipe after a satisfying draught from the mug, "is that you're
+uncommon like one that come to Claybury some time back and give a
+performance in this very room where we're now a-sitting.  So far as
+looks go, you might be his brother."
+
+The traveller said that he never had a brother.
+
+We didn't know 'e was a conjurer at fust, said the old man.  He 'ad come
+down for Wickham Fair and, being a day or two before 'and, 'e was going
+to different villages round about to give performances.  He came into the
+bar 'ere and ordered a mug o' beer, and while 'e was a-drinking of it
+stood talking about the weather.  Then 'e asked Bill Chambers to excuse
+'im for taking the liberty, and, putting his 'and to Bill's mug, took out
+a live frog.  Bill was a very partikler man about wot 'e drunk, and I
+thought he'd ha' had a fit.  He went on at Smith, the landlord, something
+shocking, and at last, for the sake o' peace and quietness, Smith gave
+'im another pint to make up for it.
+
+[Illustration: "Putting his 'and to Bill's mug, he took out a live
+frog."]
+
+"It must ha' been asleep in the mug," he ses.
+
+Bill said that 'e thought 'e knew who must ha' been asleep, and was just
+going to take a drink, when the conjurer asked 'im to excuse 'im agin.
+Bill put down the mug in a 'urry, and the conjurer put his 'and to the
+mug and took out a dead mouse.  It would ha' been a 'ard thing to say
+which was the most upset, Bill Chambers or Smith, the landlord, and Bill,
+who was in a terrible state, asked why it was everything seemed to get
+into his mug.
+
+"P'r'aps you're fond o' dumb animals, sir," ses the conjurer.  "Do you
+'appen to notice your coat-pocket is all of a wriggle?"
+
+He put his 'and to Bill's pocket and took out a little green snake; then
+he put his 'and to Bill's trouser-pocket and took out a frog, while pore
+Bill's eyes looked as if they was corning out o' their sockets.
+
+"Keep still," ses the conjurer; "there's a lot more to come yet."
+
+Bill Chambers gave a 'owl that was dreadful to listen to, and then 'e
+pushed the conjurer away and started undressing 'imself as fast as he
+could move 'is fingers.  I believe he'd ha' taken off 'is shirt if it 'ad
+'ad pockets in it, and then 'e stuck 'is feet close together and 'e kept
+jumping into the air, and coming down on to 'is own clothes in his
+hobnailed boots.
+
+"He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer.  Then he put his
+'and on his 'art and bowed.
+
+"Gentlemen all," he ses.  "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can
+do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall
+give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening
+at seven o'clock; ad--mission, three-pence each."
+
+They didn't understand 'im at fust, but at last they see wot 'e meant,
+and arter explaining to Bill, who was still giving little jumps, they led
+'im up into a corner and coaxed 'im into dressing 'imself agin.  He wanted
+to fight the conjurer, but 'e was that tired 'e could scarcely stand, and
+by-and-by Smith, who 'ad said 'e wouldn't 'ave anything to do with it,
+gave way and said he'd risk it.
+
+The tap-room was crowded that night, but we all 'ad to pay threepence
+each--coining money, I call it.  Some o' the things wot he done was very
+clever, but a'most from the fust start-off there was unpleasantness.
+When he asked somebody to lend 'im a pocket-'andkercher to turn into a
+white rabbit, Henery Walker rushed up and lent 'im 'is, but instead of a
+white rabbit it turned into a black one with two white spots on it, and
+arter Henery Walker 'ad sat for some time puzzling over it 'e got up and
+went off 'ome without saying good-night to a soul.
+
+Then the conjurer borrowed Sam Jones's hat, and arter looking into it for
+some time 'e was that surprised and astonished that Sam Jones lost 'is
+temper and asked 'im whether he 'adn't seen a hat afore.
+
+"Not like this," ses the conjurer.  And 'e pulled out a woman's dress and
+jacket and a pair o' boots.  Then 'e took out a pound or two o' taters
+and some crusts o' bread and other things, and at last 'e gave it back to
+Sam Jones and shook 'is head at 'im, and told 'im if he wasn't very
+careful he'd spoil the shape of it.
+
+Then 'e asked somebody to lend 'im a watch, and, arter he 'ad promised to
+take the greatest care of it, Dicky Weed, the tailor, lent 'im a gold
+watch wot 'ad been left 'im by 'is great-aunt when she died.  Dicky Weed
+thought a great deal o' that watch, and when the conjurer took a
+flat-iron and began to smash it up into little bits it took three men
+to hold 'im down in 'is seat.
+
+"This is the most difficult trick o' the lot," ses the conjurer, picking
+off a wheel wot 'ad stuck to the flat-iron.  "Sometimes I can do it and
+sometimes I can't.  Last time I tried it it was a failure, and it cost me
+eighteenpence and a pint o' beer afore the gentleman the watch 'ad
+belonged to was satisfied.  I gave 'im the bits, too."
+
+"If you don't give me my watch back safe and sound," ses Dicky Weed, in a
+trembling voice, "it'll cost you twenty pounds."
+
+"'Ow much?" ses the conjurer, with a start.  "Well, I wish you'd told me
+that afore you lent it to me.  Eighteenpence is my price."
+
+He stirred the broken bits up with 'is finger and shook his 'ead.
+
+"I've never tried one o' these old-fashioned watches afore," he ses.
+"'Owever, if I fail, gentle-men, it'll be the fust and only trick I've
+failed in to-night.  You can't expect everything to turn out right, but
+if I do fail this time, gentlemen, I'll try it agin if anybody else'll
+lend me another watch."
+
+Dicky Weed tried to speak but couldn't, and 'e sat there, with 'is face
+pale, staring at the pieces of 'is watch on the conjurer's table.  Then
+the conjurer took a big pistol with a trumpet-shaped barrel out of 'is
+box, and arter putting in a charge o' powder picked up the pieces o'
+watch and rammed them in arter it.  We could hear the broken bits grating
+agin the ramrod, and arter he 'ad loaded it 'e walked round and handed it
+to us to look at.
+
+"It's all right," he ses to Dicky Weed; "it's going to be a success; I
+could tell in the loading."
+
+He walked back to the other end of the room and held up the pistol.
+
+"I shall now fire this pistol," 'e ses, "and in so doing mend the watch.
+The explosion of the powder makes the bits o' glass join together agin;
+in flying through the air the wheels go round and round collecting all
+the other parts, and the watch as good as new and ticking away its
+'ardest will be found in the coat-pocket o' the gentleman I shoot at."
+
+He pointed the pistol fust at one and then at another, as if 'e couldn't
+make up 'is mind, and none of 'em seemed to 'ave much liking for it.
+Peter Gubbins told 'im not to shoot at 'im because he 'ad a 'ole in his
+pocket, and Bill Chambers, when it pointed at 'im, up and told 'im to let
+somebody else 'ave a turn.  The only one that didn't flinch was Bob
+Pretty, the biggest poacher and the greatest rascal in Claybury.  He'd
+been making fun o' the tricks all along, saying out loud that he'd seen
+'em all afore--and done better.
+
+"Go on," he ses; "I ain't afraid of you; you can't shoot straight."
+
+The conjurer pointed the pistol at 'im.  Then 'e pulled the trigger and
+the pistol went off bang, and the same moment o' time Bob Pretty jumped
+up with a 'orrible scream, and holding his 'ands over 'is eyes danced
+about as though he'd gone mad.
+
+Everybody started up at once and got round 'im, and asked 'im wot was the
+matter; but Bob didn't answer 'em.  He kept on making a dreadful noise,
+and at last 'e broke out of the room and, holding 'is 'andkercher to 'is
+face, ran off 'ome as 'ard as he could run.
+
+"You've done it now, mate," ses Bill Chambers to the conjurer.  "I
+thought you wouldn't be satisfied till you'd done some 'arm.  You've been
+and blinded pore Bob Pretty."
+
+"Nonsense," ses the conjurer.  "He's frightened, that's all."
+
+"Frightened!"  ses Peter Gubbins.  "Why, you fired Dicky Weed's watch
+straight into 'is face."
+
+"Rubbish," ses the conjurer; "it dropped into 'is pocket, and he'll find
+it there when 'e comes to 'is senses."
+
+"Do you mean to tell me that Bob Pretty 'as gone off with my watch in 'is
+pocket?"  screams Dicky Weed.
+
+"I do," ses the other.
+
+"You'd better get 'old of Bob afore 'e finds it out, Dicky," ses Bill
+Chambers.
+
+Dicky Weed didn't answer 'im; he was already running along to Bob
+Pretty's as fast as 'is legs would take 'im, with most of us follering
+behind to see wot 'appened.
+
+[Illustration: "He was running along to Bob Pretty's as fast as 'is legs
+would take 'im."]
+
+The door was fastened when we got to it, but Dicky Weed banged away at it
+as 'ard as he could bang, and at last the bedroom winder went up and
+Mrs. Pretty stuck her 'ead out.
+
+"H'sh!" she ses, in a whisper.  "Go away."
+
+"I want to see Bob," ses Dicky Weed.
+
+"You can't see 'im," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I'm getting 'im to bed.  He's
+been shot, pore dear.  Can't you 'ear 'im groaning?"
+
+We 'adn't up to then, but a'most direckly arter she 'ad spoke you could
+ha' heard Bob's groans a mile away.  Dreadful, they was.
+
+"There, there, pore dear," ses Mrs. Pretty.
+
+"Shall I come in and 'elp you get 'im to bed?" ses Dicky Weed, 'arf
+crying.
+
+"No, thank you, Mr. Weed," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "It's very kind of you to
+offer, but 'e wouldn't like any hands but mine to touch 'im.  I'll send
+in and let you know 'ow he is fust thing in the morning."
+
+"Try and get 'old of the coat, Dicky," ses Bill Chambers, in a whisper.
+"Offer to mend it for 'im.  It's sure to want it."
+
+"Well, I'm sorry I can't be no 'elp to you," ses Dicky Weed, "but I
+noticed a rent in Bob's coat and, as 'e's likely to be laid up a bit, it
+ud be a good opportunity for me to mend it for 'im.  I won't charge 'im
+nothing.  If you drop it down I'll do it now."
+
+"Thankee," ses Mrs. Pretty; "if you just wait a moment I'll clear the
+pockets out and drop it down to you."
+
+She turned back into the bedroom, and Dicky Weed ground 'is teeth
+together and told Bill Chambers that the next time he took 'is advice
+he'd remember it.  He stood there trembling all over with temper, and
+when Mrs. Pretty came to the winder agin and dropped the coat on his 'ead
+and said that Bob felt his kindness very much, and he 'oped Dicky ud make
+a good job of it, because it was 'is favrite coat, he couldn't speak.
+He stood there shaking all over till Mrs. Pretty 'ad shut the winder down
+agin, and then 'e turned to the conjurer, as 'ad come up with the rest of
+us, and asked 'im wot he was going to do about it now.
+
+"I tell you he's got the watch," ses the conjurer, pointing up at the
+winder.  "It went into 'is pocket.  I saw it go.  He was no more shot
+than you were.  If 'e was, why doesn't he send for the doctor?"
+
+"I can't 'elp that," ses Dicky Weed.  "I want my watch or else twenty
+pounds."
+
+"We'll talk it over in a day or two," ses the conjurer.  "I'm giving my
+celebrated entertainment at Wickham Fair on Monday, but I'll come back
+'ere to the Cauliflower the Saturday before and give another
+entertainment, and then we'll see wot's to be done.  I can't run away,
+because in any case I can't afford to miss the fair."
+
+Dicky Weed gave way at last and went off 'ome to bed and told 'is wife
+about it, and listening to 'er advice he got up at six o'clock in the
+morning and went round to see 'ow Bob Pretty was.
+
+Mrs. Pretty was up when 'e got there, and arter calling up the stairs to
+Bob told Dicky Weed to go upstairs.  Bob Pretty was sitting up in bed
+with 'is face covered in bandages, and he seemed quite pleased to see
+'im.
+
+"It ain't everybody that ud get up at six o'clock to see 'ow I'm getting
+on," he ses.  "You've got a feeling 'art, Dicky."
+
+Dicky Weed coughed and looked round, wondering whether the watch was in
+the room, and, if so, where it was hidden.
+
+"Now I'm 'ere I may as well tidy up the room for you a bit," he ses,
+getting up.  "I don't like sitting idle."
+
+"Thankee, mate," ses Bob; and 'e lay still and watched Dicky Weed out of
+the corner of the eye that wasn't covered with the bandages.
+
+I don't suppose that room 'ad ever been tidied up so thoroughly since the
+Prettys 'ad lived there, but Dicky Weed couldn't see anything o' the
+watch, and wot made 'im more angry than anything else was Mrs. Pretty
+setting down in a chair with 'er 'ands folded in her lap and pointing out
+places that he 'adn't done.
+
+"You leave 'im alone," ses Bob.  "_He knows wot 'e's arter_.  Wot did you
+do with those little bits o' watch you found when you was bandaging me
+up, missis?"
+
+"Don't ask me," ses Mrs. Pretty.  "I was in such a state I don't know wot
+I was doing 'ardly."
+
+"Well, they must be about somewhere," ses Bob.  "You 'ave a look for 'em,
+Dicky, and if you find 'em, keep 'em.  They belong to you."
+
+Dicky Weed tried to be civil and thank 'im, and then he went off 'ome and
+talked it over with 'is wife agin.  People couldn't make up their minds
+whether Bob Pretty 'ad found the watch in 'is pocket and was shamming, or
+whether 'e was really shot, but they was all quite certain that,
+whichever way it was, Dicky Weed would never see 'is watch agin.
+
+On the Saturday evening this 'ere Cauliflower public-'ouse was crowded,
+everybody being anxious to see the watch trick done over agin.  We had
+'eard that it 'ad been done all right at Cudford and Monksham; but Bob
+Pretty said as 'ow he'd believe it when 'e saw it, and not afore.
+
+He was one o' the fust to turn up that night, because 'e said 'e wanted
+to know wot the conjurer was going to pay him for all 'is pain and
+suffering and having things said about 'is character.  He came in leaning
+on a stick, with 'is face still bandaged, and sat right up close to the
+conjurer's table, and watched him as 'ard as he could as 'e went through
+'is tricks.
+
+"And now," ses the conjurer, at last, "I come to my celebrated watch
+trick.  Some of you as wos 'ere last Tuesday when I did it will remember
+that the man I fired the pistol at pretended that 'e'd been shot and run
+off 'ome with it in 'is pocket."
+
+"You're a liar!"  ses Bob Pretty, standing up.  "Very good," ses the
+conjurer; "you take that bandage off and show us all where you're hurt."
+
+"I shall do nothing o' the kind," ses Bob.  I don't take my orders from
+you."
+
+"Take the bandage off," ses the conjurer, "and if there's any shot marks
+I'll give you a couple o' sovereigns."
+
+"I'm afraid of the air getting to it," ses Bob Pretty.
+
+"You don't want to be afraid o' that, Bob," ses John Biggs, the
+blacksmith, coming up behind and putting 'is great arms round 'im.  "Take
+off that rag, somebody; I've got hold of 'im."
+
+Bob Pretty started to struggle at fust, but then, seeing it was no good,
+kept quite quiet while they took off the bandages.
+
+"There!  look at 'im," ses the conjurer, pointing.  "Not a mark on 'is
+face, not one."
+
+"Wet!" ses Bob Pretty.  "Do you mean to say there's no marks?"
+
+"I do," ses the conjurer.
+
+"Thank goodness," ses Bob Pretty, clasping his 'ands.  "Thank goodness!
+I was afraid I was disfigured for life.  Lend me a bit o' looking-glass,
+somebody.  I can 'ardly believe it."
+
+"You stole Dicky Weed's watch," ses John Biggs.  "I 'ad my suspicions of
+you all along.  You're a thief, Bob Pretty.  That's wot you are."
+
+"Prove it," ses Bob Pretty.  "You 'eard wot the conjurer said the other
+night, that the last time he tried 'e failed, and 'ad to give
+eighteenpence to the man wot the watch 'ad belonged to."
+
+"That was by way of a joke like," ses the conjurer to John Biggs.  "I can
+always do it.  I'm going to do it now.  Will somebody 'ave the kindness
+to lend me a watch?"
+
+He looked all round the room, but nobody offered--except other men's
+watches, wot wouldn't lend 'em.
+
+"Come, come," he ses; "ain't none of you got any trust in me?  It'll be
+as safe as if it was in your pocket.  I want to prove to you that this
+man is a thief."
+
+He asked 'em agin, and at last John Biggs took out 'is silver watch and
+offered it to 'im on the understanding that 'e was on no account to fire
+it into Bob Pretty's pocket.
+
+"Not likely," ses the conjurer.  "Now, everybody take a good look at this
+watch, so as to make sure there's no deceiving."
+
+He 'anded it round, and arter everybody 'ad taken a look at it 'e took it
+up to the table and laid it down.
+
+"Let me 'ave a look at it," ses Bob Pretty, going up to the table.  "I'm
+not going to 'ave my good name took away for nothing if I can 'elp it."
+
+He took it up and looked at it, and arter 'olding it to 'is ear put it
+down agin.
+
+"Is that the flat-iron it's going to be smashed with?"  he ses.
+
+"It is," ses the conjurer, looking at 'im nasty like; "p'r'aps you'd like
+to examine it."
+
+Bob Pretty took it and looked at it. "Yes, mates," he ses, "it's a
+ordinary flat-iron.  You couldn't 'ave anything better for smashing a
+watch with."
+
+He 'eld it up in the air and, afore anybody could move, brought it down
+bang on the face o' the watch.  The conjurer sprang at 'im and caught at
+'is arm, but it was too late, and in a terrible state o' mind 'e turned
+round to John Biggs.
+
+[Illustration: "Afore anybody could move, he brought it down bang on the
+face o' the watch."]
+
+"He's smashed your watch," he ses; "he's smashed your watch."
+
+"Well," ses John Biggs, "it 'ad got to be smashed, 'adn't it?"
+
+"Yes, but not by 'im," ses the conjurer, dancing about.  "I wash my 'ands
+of it now."
+
+"Look 'ere," ses John Biggs; "don't you talk to me about washing your
+'ands of it.  You finish your trick and give me my watch back agin same
+as it was afore."
+
+"Not now he's been interfering with it," ses the conjurer.  "He'd better
+do the trick now as he's so clever."
+
+"I'd sooner 'ave you do it," ses John Biggs.  "Wot did you let 'im
+interfere for?"
+
+"'Ow was I to know wot 'e was going to do?"  ses the conjurer.  "You must
+settle it between you now.  I'll 'ave nothing more to do with it."
+
+"All right, John Biggs," ses Bob Pretty; "if 'e won't do it, I will.  If
+it can be done, I don't s'pose it matters who does it.  I don't think
+anybody could smash up a watch better than that."
+
+John Biggs looked at it, and then 'e asked the conjurer once more to do
+the trick, but 'e wouldn't.
+
+"It can't be done now," he ses; "and I warn you that if that pistol is
+fired I won't be responsible for what'll 'appen."
+
+"George Kettle shall load the pistol and fire it if 'e won't," ses Bob
+Pretty.  "'Aving been in the Militia, there couldn't be a better man for
+the job."
+
+George Kettle walked up to the table as red as fire at being praised like
+that afore people and started loading the pistol.  He seemed to be more
+awkward about it than the conjurer 'ad been the last time, and he 'ad to
+roll the watch-cases up with the flat-iron afore 'e could get 'em in.
+But 'e loaded it at last and stood waiting.
+
+"Don't shoot at me, George Kettle," ses Bob.  "I've been called a thief
+once, and I don't want to be agin."
+
+"Put that pistol down, you fool, afore you do mischief," ses the
+conjurer.
+
+"Who shall I shoot at?"  ses George Kettle, raising the pistol.
+
+"Better fire at the conjurer, I think," ses Bob Pretty; "and if things
+'appen as he says they will 'appen, the watch ought to be found in 'is
+coat-pocket."
+
+"Where is he?"  ses George, looking round.
+
+Bill Chambers laid 'old of 'im just as he was going through the door to
+fetch the landlord, and the scream 'e gave as he came back and George
+Kettle pointed the pistol at 'im was awful.
+
+[Illustration: "The scream 'e gave as George Kettle pointed the pistol at
+'im was awful."]
+
+"It's no worse for you than it was for me," ses Bob.
+
+"Put it down," screams the conjurer; "put it down.  You'll kill 'arf the
+men in the room if it goes off."
+
+"Be careful where you aim, George," ses Sam Jones.  "P'r'aps he'd better
+'ave a chair all by hisself in the middle of the room."
+
+It was all very well for Sam Jones to talk, but the conjurer wouldn't sit
+on a chair by 'imself.  He wouldn't sit on it at all.  He seemed to be
+all legs and arms, and the way 'e struggled it took four or five men to
+'old 'im.
+
+"Why don't you keep still?"  ses John Biggs.  "George Kettle'll shoot it
+in your pocket all right.  He's the best shot in Claybury."
+
+"Help!  Murder!" says the conjurer, struggling.  "He'll kill me.  Nobody
+can do the trick but me."
+
+"But you say you won't do it," ses John Biggs.  "Not now," ses the
+conjurer; "I can't."
+
+"Well, I'm not going to 'ave my watch lost through want of trying," ses
+John Biggs.  "Tie 'im to the chair, mates."
+
+"All right, then," ses the conjurer, very pale.  "Don't tie me; I'll sit
+still all right if you like, but you'd better bring the chair outside in
+case of accidents.  Bring it in the front."
+
+George Kettle said it was all nonsense, but the conjurer said the trick
+was always better done in the open air, and at last they gave way and
+took 'im and the chair outside.
+
+"Now," ses the conjurer, as 'e sat down, "all of you go and stand near
+the man woe's going to shoot.  When I say 'Three,' fire.  Why!  there's
+the watch on the ground there!"
+
+He pointed with 'is finger, and as they all looked down he jumped up out
+o' that chair and set off on the road to Wickham as 'ard as 'e could run.
+It was so sudden that nobody knew wot 'ad 'appened for a moment, and then
+George Kettle, wot 'ad been looking with the rest, turned round and
+pulled the trigger.
+
+There was a bang that pretty nigh deafened us, and the back o' the chair
+was blown nearly out.  By the time we'd got our senses agin the conjurer
+was a'most out o' sight, and Bob Pretty was explaining to John Biggs wot
+a good job it was 'is watch 'adn't been a gold one.
+
+"That's wot comes o' trusting a foreigner afore a man wot you've known
+all your life," he ses, shaking his 'ead.  "I 'ope the next man wot tries
+to take my good name away won't get off so easy.  I felt all along the
+trick couldn't be done; it stands to reason it couldn't.  I done my best,
+too."
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Odd Charges, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ODD CHARGES ***
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