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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12208 ***
+
+ODD CRAFT
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+
+THE CHANGING NUMBERS
+
+The tall clock in the corner of the small living-room had just struck
+eight as Mr. Samuel Gunnill came stealthily down the winding staircase
+and, opening the door at the foot, stepped with an appearance of great
+care and humility into the room.  He noticed with some anxiety that his
+daughter Selina was apparently engrossed in her task of attending to the
+plants in the window, and that no preparations whatever had been made for
+breakfast.
+
+[Illustration: "Mr. Samuel Gunnill came stealthily down the winding
+staircase."]
+
+Miss Gunnill's horticultural duties seemed interminable.  She snipped off
+dead leaves with painstaking precision, and administered water with the
+jealous care of a druggist compounding a prescription; then, with her
+back still toward him, she gave vent to a sigh far too intense in its
+nature to have reference to such trivialities as plants.  She repeated it
+twice, and at the second time Mr. Gunnill, almost without his knowledge,
+uttered a deprecatory cough.
+
+His daughter turned with alarming swiftness and, holding herself very
+upright, favoured him with a glance in which indignation and surprise
+were very fairly mingled.
+
+"That white one--that one at the end," said Mr. Gunnill, with an
+appearance of concentrated interest, "that's my fav'rite."
+
+Miss Gunnill put her hands together, and a look of infinite
+long-suffering came upon her face, but she made no reply.
+
+"Always has been," continued Mr. Gunnill, feverishly, "from a--from a
+cutting."
+
+"Bailed out," said Miss Gunnill, in a deep and thrilling voice; "bailed
+out at one o'clock in the morning, brought home singing loud enough for
+half-a-dozen, and then talking about flowers!"
+
+Mr. Gunnill coughed again.
+
+"I was dreaming," pursued Miss Gunnill, plaintively, "sleeping
+peacefully, when I was awoke by a horrible noise."
+
+"That couldn't ha' been me," protested her father.  "I was only a bit
+cheerful.  It was Benjamin Ely's birthday yesterday, and after we left
+the Lion they started singing, and I just hummed to keep 'em company.  I
+wasn't singing, mind you, only humming--when up comes that interfering
+Cooper and takes me off."
+
+Miss Gunnill shivered, and with her pretty cheek in her hand sat by the
+window the very picture of despondency.  "Why didn't he take the others?"
+she inquired.
+
+"Ah!" said Mr. Gunnill, with great emphasis, "that's what a lot more of
+us would like to know.  P'r'aps if you'd been more polite to Mrs. Cooper,
+instead o' putting it about that she looked young enough to be his
+mother, it wouldn't have happened."
+
+His daughter shook her head impatiently and, on Mr. Gunnill making an
+allusion to breakfast, expressed surprise that he had got the heart to
+eat any-thing.  Mr. Gunnill pressing the point, however, she arose and
+began to set the table, the undue care with which she smoothed out the
+creases of the table-cloth, and the mathematical exactness with which she
+placed the various articles, all being so many extra smarts in his wound.
+When she finally placed on the table enough food for a dozen people he
+began to show signs of a little spirit.
+
+"Ain't you going to have any?" he demanded, as Miss Gunnill resumed her
+seat by the window.
+
+"Me?" said the girl, with a shudder.  "Breakfast?  The disgrace is
+breakfast enough for me.  I couldn't eat a morsel; it would choke me."
+
+Mr. Gunnill eyed her over the rim of his teacup.  "I come down an hour
+ago," he said, casually, as he helped himself to some bacon.
+
+Miss Gunnill started despite herself.  "Oh!" she said, listlessly.
+
+"And I see you making a very good breakfast all by yourself in the
+kitchen," continued her father, in a voice not free from the taint of
+triumph.
+
+The discomfited Selina rose and stood regarding him; Mr. Gunnill, after a
+vain attempt to meet her gaze, busied himself with his meal.
+
+"The idea of watching every mouthful I eat!"  said Miss Gunnill,
+tragically; "the idea of complaining because I have some breakfast!  I'd
+never have believed it of you, never!  It's shameful!  Fancy grudging
+your own daughter the food she eats!"
+
+Mr. Gunnill eyed her in dismay.  In his confusion he had overestimated
+the capacity of his mouth, and he now strove in vain to reply to this
+shameful perversion of his meaning.  His daughter stood watching him with
+grief in one eye and calculation in the other, and, just as he had put
+himself into a position to exercise his rights of free speech, gave a
+pathetic sniff and walked out of the room.
+
+She stayed indoors all day, but the necessity of establishing his
+innocence took Mr. Gunnill out a great deal.  His neighbours, in the hope
+of further excitement, warmly pressed him to go to prison rather than pay
+a fine, and instanced the example of an officer in the Salvation Army,
+who, in very different circumstances, had elected to take that course.
+Mr. Gunnill assured them that only his known antipathy to the army, and
+the fear of being regarded as one of its followers, prevented him from
+doing so.  He paid instead a fine of ten shillings, and after listening
+to a sermon, in which his silver hairs served as the text, was permitted
+to depart.  His feeling against Police-constable Cooper increased with
+the passing of the days.  The constable watched him with the air of a
+proprietor, and Mrs. Cooper's remark that "her husband had had his eye
+upon him for a long time, and that he had better be careful for the
+future," was faithfully retailed to him within half an hour of its
+utterance.  Convivial friends counted his cups for him; teetotal friends
+more than hinted that Cooper was in the employ of his good angel.
+
+[Illustration: "The constable watched him with the air of a proprietor."]
+
+Miss Gunnill's two principal admirers had an arduous task to perform.
+They had to attribute Mr. Gunnill's disaster to the vindictiveness of
+Cooper, and at the same time to agree with his daughter that it served
+him right.  Between father and daughter they had a difficult time, Mr.
+Gunnill's sensitiveness having been much heightened by his troubles.
+
+"Cooper ought not to have taken you," said Herbert Sims for the fiftieth
+time.
+
+"He must ha' seen you like it dozens o' times before," said Ted Drill,
+who, in his determination not to be outdone by Mr. Sims, was not
+displaying his usual judgment.  "Why didn't he take you then?  That's
+what you ought to have asked the magistrate."
+
+"I don't understand you," said Mr. Gunnill, with an air of cold dignity.
+
+"Why," said Mr. Drill, "what I mean is--look at that night, for instance,
+when----"
+
+He broke off suddenly, even his enthusiasm not being proof against the
+extraordinary contortions of visage in which Mr. Gunnill was indulging.
+
+"When?"  prompted Selina and Mr. Sims together.  Mr. Gunnill, after first
+daring him with his eye, followed suit.
+
+"That night at the Crown," said Mr. Drill, awkwardly.  "You know; when
+you thought that Joe Baggs was the landlord.  You tell 'em; you tell it
+best.  I've roared over it."
+
+"I don't know what you're driving at," said the harassed Mr. Gunnill,
+bitterly.
+
+"H'm!"  said Mr. Drill, with a weak laugh.  "I've been mixing you up with
+somebody else."
+
+Mr. Gunnill, obviously relieved, said that he ought to be more careful,
+and pointed out, with some feeling, that a lot of mischief was caused
+that way.
+
+"Cooper wants a lesson, that's what he wants," said Mr. Sims, valiantly.
+"He'll get his head broke one of these days."
+
+Mr. Gunnill acquiesced.  "I remember when I was on the _Peewit,_" he
+said, musingly, "one time when we were lying at Cardiff, there was a
+policeman there run one of our chaps in, and two nights afterward another
+of our chaps pushed the policeman down in the mud and ran off with his
+staff and his helmet."
+
+Miss Gunnill's eyes glistened.  "What happened?" she inquired.
+
+"He had to leave the force," replied her father; "he couldn't stand the
+disgrace of it.  The chap that pushed him over was quite a little chap,
+too.  About the size of Herbert here."
+
+Mr. Sims started.
+
+"Very much like him in face, too," pursued Mr. Gunnill; "daring chap he
+was."
+
+Miss Gunnill sighed.  "I wish he lived in Little-stow," she said, slowly.
+"I'd give anything to take that horrid Mrs. Cooper down a bit.  Cooper
+would be the laughing-stock of the town."
+
+Messrs. Sims and Drill looked unhappy.  It was hard to have to affect an
+attitude of indifference in the face of Miss Gunnill's lawless yearnings;
+to stand before her as respectable and law-abiding cravens.  Her eyes,
+large and sorrowful; dwelt on them both.
+
+"If I--I only get a chance at Cooper!" murmured Mr. Sims, vaguely.
+
+To his surprise, Mr. Gunnill started up from his chair and, gripping his
+hand, shook it fervently.  He looked round, and Selina was regarding him
+with a glance so tender that he lost his head completely.  Before he had
+recovered he had pledged himself to lay the helmet and truncheon of the
+redoubtable Mr. Cooper at the feet of Miss Gunnill; exact date not
+specified.
+
+"Of course, I shall have to wait my opportunity," he said, at last.
+
+"You wait as long as you like, my boy," said the thoughtless Mr. Gunnill.
+
+Mr. Sims thanked him.
+
+"Wait till Cooper's an old man," urged Mr. Drill.
+
+Miss Gunnill, secretly disappointed at the lack of boldness and devotion
+on the part of the latter gentleman, eyed his stalwart frame indignantly
+and accused him of trying to make Mr. Sims as timid as himself.  She
+turned to the valiant Sims and made herself so agreeable to that daring
+blade that Mr. Drill, a prey to violent jealousy, bade the company a curt
+good-night and withdrew.
+
+He stayed away for nearly a week, and then one evening as he approached
+the house, carrying a carpet-bag, he saw the door just opening to admit
+the fortunate Herbert.  He quickened his pace and arrived just in time to
+follow him in.  Mr. Sims, who bore under his arm a brown-paper parcel,
+seemed somewhat embarrassed at seeing him, and after a brief greeting
+walked into the room, and with a triumphant glance at Mr. Gunnill and
+Selina placed his burden on the table.
+
+[Illustration: "He saw the door just opening to admit the fortunate
+Herbert."]
+
+"You--you ain't got it?"  said Mr. Gunnill, leaning forward.
+
+"How foolish of you to run such a risk!"  said Selina.
+
+"I brought it for Miss Gunnill," said the young man, simply.  He
+unfastened the parcel, and to the astonishment of all present revealed a
+policeman's helmet and a short boxwood truncheon.
+
+"You--you're a wonder," said the gloating Mr. Gunnill.  "Look at it,
+Ted!"
+
+Mr. Drill was looking at it; it may be doubted whether the head of Mr.
+Cooper itself could have caused him more astonishment.  Then his eyes
+sought those of Mr. Sims, but that gentleman was gazing tenderly at the
+gratified but shocked Selina.
+
+"How ever did you do it?"  inquired Mr. Gunnill.
+
+"Came behind him and threw him down," said Mr. Sims, nonchalantly.  "He
+was that scared I believe I could have taken his boots as well if I'd
+wanted them."
+
+Mr. Gunnill patted him on the back.  "I fancy I can see him running
+bare-headed through the town calling for help," he said, smiling.
+
+Mr. Sims shook his head.  "Like as not it'll be kept quiet for the credit
+of the force," he said, slowly, "unless, of course, they discover who did
+it."
+
+A slight shade fell on the good-humoured countenance of Mr. Gunnill, but
+it was chased away almost immediately by Sims reminding him of the chaff
+of Cooper's brother-constables.
+
+"And you might take the others away," said Mr. Gunnill, brightening; "you
+might keep on doing it."
+
+Mr. Sims said doubtfully that he might, but pointed out that Cooper would
+probably be on his guard for the future.
+
+"Yes, you've done your share," said Miss Gunnill, with a half-glance at
+Mr. Drill, who was still gazing in a bewildered fashion at the trophies.
+"You can come into the kitchen and help me draw some beer if you like."
+
+Mr. Sims followed her joyfully, and reaching down a jug for her watched
+her tenderly as she drew the beer.  All women love valour, but Miss
+Gunnill, gazing sadly at the slight figure of Mr. Sims, could not help
+wishing that Mr. Drill possessed a little of his spirit.
+
+[Illustration: "Mr. Sims watched her tenderly as she drew the beer."]
+
+She had just finished her task when a tremendous bumping noise was heard
+in the living-room, and the plates on the dresser were nearly shaken off
+their shelves.
+
+"What's that?" she cried.
+
+They ran to the room and stood aghast in the doorway at the spectacle of
+Mr. Gunnill, with his clenched fists held tightly by his side, bounding
+into the air with all the grace of a trained acrobat, while Mr. Drill
+encouraged him from an easy-chair.  Mr. Gunnill smiled broadly as he met
+their astonished gaze, and with a final bound kicked something along the
+floor and subsided into his seat panting.
+
+Mr. Sims, suddenly enlightened, uttered a cry of dismay and, darting
+under the table, picked up what had once been a policeman's helmet.  Then
+he snatched a partially consumed truncheon from the fire, and stood white
+and trembling before the astonished Mr. Gunnill.
+
+"What's the matter?" inquired the latter.  "You--you've spoilt 'em,"
+gasped Mr. Sims.  "What of it?"  said Mr. Gunnill, staring.
+
+"I was--going to take 'em away," stammered Mr. Sims.
+
+"Well, they'll be easier to carry now," said Mr. Drill, simply.
+
+Mr. Sims glanced at him sharply, and then, to the extreme astonishment of
+Mr. Gunnill, snatched up the relics and, wrapping them up in the paper,
+dashed out of the house.  Mr. Gunnill turned a look of blank inquiry upon
+Mr. Drill.
+
+"It wasn't Cooper's number on the helmet," said that gentleman.
+
+"Eh?" shouted Mr. Gunnill.
+
+"How do you know?" inquired Selina.
+
+"I just happened to notice," replied Mr. Drill.  He reached down as
+though to take up the carpet-bag which he had placed by the side of his
+chair, and then, apparently thinking better of it, leaned back in his
+seat and eyed Mr. Gunnill.
+
+"Do you mean to tell me," said the latter, "that he's been and upset the
+wrong man?"
+
+Mr. Drill shook his head.  "That's the puzzle," he said, softly.
+
+He smiled over at Miss Gunnill, but that young lady, who found him
+somewhat mysterious, looked away and frowned.  Her father sat and
+exhausted conjecture, his final conclusion being that Mr. Sims had
+attacked the first policeman that had come in his way and was now
+suffering the agonies of remorse.
+
+He raised his head sharply at the sound of hurried footsteps outside.
+There was a smart rap at the street door, then the handle was turned, and
+the next moment, to the dismay of all present, the red and angry face of
+one of Mr. Cooper's brother-constables was thrust into the room.
+
+Mr. Gunnill gazed at it in helpless fascination.  The body of the
+constable garbed in plain clothes followed the face and, standing before
+him in a menacing fashion, held out a broken helmet and staff.
+
+"Have you seen these afore?" he inquired, in a terrible voice.
+
+"No," said Mr. Gunnill, with an attempt at surprise.  "What are they?"
+
+"I'll tell you what they are," said Police-constable Jenkins,
+ferociously; "they're my helmet and truncheon.  You've been spoiling His
+Majesty's property, and you'll be locked up."
+
+"Yours?" said the astonished Mr. Gunnill.
+
+"I lent 'em to young Sims, just for a joke," said the constable.  "I felt
+all along I was doing a silly thing."
+
+"It's no joke," said Mr. Gunnill, severely.  "I'll tell young Herbert
+what I think of him trying to deceive me like that."
+
+"Never mind about deceiving," interrupted the constable.  "What are you
+going to do about it?"
+
+"What are you?"  inquired Mr. Gunnill, hardily.  "It seems to me it's
+between you and him; you'll very likely be dismissed from the force, and
+all through trying to deceive.  I wash my hands of it."
+
+"You'd no business to lend it," said Drill, interrupting the constable's
+indignant retort; "especially for Sims to pretend that he had stolen it
+from Cooper.  It's a roundabout sort of thing, but you can't tell of Mr.
+Gunnill without getting into trouble yourself."
+
+"I shall have to put up with that," said the constable, desperately;
+"it's got to be explained.  It's my day-helmet, too, and the night one's
+as shabby as can be.  Twenty years in the force and never a mark against
+my name till now."
+
+"If you'd only keep quiet a bit instead of talking so much," said Mr.
+Drill, who had been doing some hard thinking, "I might be able to help
+you, p'r'aps."
+
+"How?" inquired the constable.
+
+"Help him if you can, Ted," said Mr. Gunnill, eagerly; "we ought all to
+help others when we get a chance."
+
+Mr. Drill sat bolt upright and looked very wise.
+
+He took the smashed helmet from the table and examined it carefully.  It
+was broken in at least half-a-dozen places, and he laboured in vain to
+push it into shape.  He might as well have tried to make a silk hat out
+of a concertina.  The only thing that had escaped injury was the metal
+plate with the number.
+
+"Why don't you mend it?"  he inquired, at last.
+
+"Mend it?" shouted the incensed Mr. Jenkins.  "Why don't you?"
+
+"I think I could," said Mr. Drill, slowly; "give me half an hour in the
+kitchen and I'll try."
+
+"Have as long as you like," said Mr. Gunnill.
+
+"And I shall want some glue, and Miss Gunnill, and some tin-tacks," said
+Drill.
+
+"What do you want me for?" inquired Selina.
+
+"To hold the things for me," replied Mr. Drill.
+
+Miss Gunnill tossed her head, but after a little demur consented; and
+Drill, ignoring the impatience of the constable, picked up his bag and
+led the way into the kitchen.  Messrs. Gunnill and Jenkins, left behind
+in the living-room, sought for some neutral topic of discourse, but in
+vain; conversation would revolve round hard labour and lost pensions.
+From the kitchen came sounds of hammering, then a loud "Ooh!" from Miss
+Gunnill, followed by a burst of laughter and a clapping of hands.  Mr.
+Jenkins shifted in his seat and exchanged glances with Mr. Gunnill.
+
+[Illustration: "From the kitchen came sounds of hammering."]
+
+"He's a clever fellow," said that gentleman, hopefully.  "You should hear
+him imitate a canary; life-like it is."
+
+Mr. Jenkins was about to make a hasty and obvious rejoinder, when the
+kitchen door opened and Selina emerged, followed by Drill.  The snarl
+which the constable had prepared died away in a murmur of astonishment as
+he took the helmet.  It looked as good as ever.
+
+He turned it over and over in amaze, and looked in vain for any signs of
+the disastrous cracks.  It was stiff and upright.  He looked at the
+number: it was his own.  His eyes round with astonishment he tried it on,
+and then his face relaxed.
+
+"It don't fit as well as it did," he said.
+
+"Well, upon my word, some people are never satisfied," said the indignant
+Drill.  "There isn't another man in England could have done it better."
+
+"I'm not grumbling," said the constable, hastily; "it's a wonderful piece
+o' work.  Wonderful!  I can't even see where it was broke.  How on earth
+did you do it?"
+
+Drill shook his head.  "It's a secret process," he said, slowly.  "I
+might want to go into the hat trade some day, and I'm not going to give
+things away."
+
+"Quite right," said Mr. Jenkins.  "Still--well, it's a marvel, that's
+what it is; a fair marvel.  If you take my advice you'll go in the hat
+trade to-morrow, my lad."
+
+"I'm not surprised," said Mr. Gunnill, whose face as he spoke was a map
+of astonishment.  "Not a bit.  I've seen him do more surprising things
+than that.  Have a go at the staff now, Teddy."
+
+"I'll see about it," said Mr. Drill, modestly.  "I can't do
+impossibilities.  You leave it here, Mr. Jenkins, and we'll talk about it
+later on."
+
+Mr. Jenkins, still marvelling over his helmet, assented, and, after
+another reference to the possibilities in the hat trade to a man with a
+born gift for repairs, wrapped his property in a piece of newspaper and
+departed, whistling.
+
+"Ted," said Mr. Gunnill, impressively, as he sank into his chair with a
+sigh of relief.  "How you done it I don't know.  It's a surprise even to
+me."
+
+"He is very clever," said Selina, with a kind smile
+
+Mr. Drill turned pale, and then, somewhat emboldened by praise from such
+a quarter, dropped into a chair by her side and began to talk in low
+tones.  The grateful Mr. Gunnill, more relieved than he cared to confess,
+thoughtfully closed his eyes.
+
+"I didn't think all along that you'd let Herbert outdo you," said Selina.
+
+"I want to outdo him," said Mr. Drill, in a voice of much meaning.
+
+Miss Gunnill cast down her eyes and Mr. Drill had just plucked up
+sufficient courage to take her hand when footsteps stopped at the house,
+the handle of the door was turned, and, for the second time that evening,
+the inflamed visage of Mr. Jenkins confronted the company.
+
+"Don't tell me it's a failure," said Mr. Gunnill, starting from his
+chair.  "You must have been handling it roughly.  It was as good as new
+when you took it away."
+
+Mr. Jenkins waved him away and fixed his eyes upon Drill.
+
+"You think you're mighty clever, I dare say," he said, grimly; "but I can
+put two and two together.  I've just heard of it."
+
+"Heard of two and two?" said Drill, looking puzzled.
+
+"I don't want any of your nonsense," said Mr. Jenkins.  "I'm not on duty
+now, but I warn you not to say anything that may be used against you."
+
+"I never do," said Mr. Drill, piously.
+
+"Somebody threw a handful o' flour in poor Cooper's face a couple of
+hours ago," said Mr. Jenkins, watching him closely, "and while he was
+getting it out of his eyes they upset him and made off with his helmet
+and truncheon.  I just met Brown and he says Cooper's been going on like
+a madman."
+
+"By Jove! it's a good job I mended your helmet for you," said Mr. Drill,
+"or else they might have suspected you."
+
+Mr. Jenkins stared at him.  "I know who did do it," he said,
+significantly.
+
+"Herbert Sims?" guessed Mr. Drill, in a stage whisper.
+
+"You'll be one o' the first to know," said Mr. Jenkins, darkly; "he'll be
+arrested to-morrow.  Fancy the impudence of it!  It's shocking."
+
+Mr. Drill whistled.  "Nell, don't let that little affair o' yours with
+Sims be known," he said, quietly.  "Have that kept quiet--if you can."
+
+Mr. Jenkins started as though he had been stung.  In the joy of a case he
+had overlooked one or two things.  He turned and regarded the young man
+wistfully.
+
+"Don't call on me as a witness, that's all," continued Mr. Drill.  "I
+never was a mischief-maker, and I shouldn't like to have to tell how you
+lent your helmet to Sims so that he could pretend he had knocked Cooper
+down and taken it from him."
+
+[Illustration: "Don't call on me as a witness, that's all," continued Mr.
+Drill.]
+
+"Wouldn't look at all well," said Mr. Gunnill, nodding his head sagely.
+
+Mr. Jenkins breathed hard and looked from one to the other.  It was plain
+that it was no good reminding them that he had not had a case for five
+years.
+
+"When I say that I know who did it," he said, slowly, "I mean that I have
+my suspicions."
+
+"Don't call on me as a witness, that's all,' continued Mr. Drill."
+
+"Ah," said Mr. Drill, "that's a very different thing."
+
+"Nothing like the same," said Mr. Gunnill, pouring the constable a glass
+of ale.
+
+Mr. Jenkins drank it and smacked his lips feebly.
+
+"Sims needn't know anything about that helmet being repaired," he said at
+last.
+
+"Certainly not," said everybody.
+
+Mr. Jenkins sighed and turned to Drill.
+
+"It's no good spoiling the ship for a ha'porth o' tar," he said, with a
+faint suspicion of a wink.  "No," said Drill, looking puzzled.
+
+"Anything that's worth doing at all is worth doing well," continued the
+constable, "and while I'm drinking another glass with Mr. Gunnill here,
+suppose you go into the kitchen with that useful bag o' yours and finish
+repairing my truncheon?"
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Changing Numbers, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12208 ***