diff options
Diffstat (limited to '12204-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 12204-0.txt | 532 |
1 files changed, 532 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/12204-0.txt b/12204-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bf7b10b --- /dev/null +++ b/12204-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,532 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12204 *** + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +BILL'S LAPSE + +Strength and good-nature--said the night-watchman, musingly, as he felt +his biceps--strength and good-nature always go together. Sometimes you +find a strong man who is not good-natured, but then, as everybody he +comes in contack with is, it comes to the same thing. + +The strongest and kindest-'earted man I ever come across was a man o' the +name of Bill Burton, a ship-mate of Ginger Dick's. For that matter 'e +was a shipmate o' Peter Russet's and old Sam Small's too. Not over and +above tall; just about my height, his arms was like another man's legs +for size, and 'is chest and his back and shoulders might ha' been made +for a giant. And with all that he'd got a soft blue eye like a gal's +(blue's my favourite colour for gals' eyes), and a nice, soft, curly +brown beard. He was an A.B., too, and that showed 'ow good-natured he +was, to pick up with firemen. + +He got so fond of 'em that when they was all paid off from the _Ocean +King_ he asked to be allowed to join them in taking a room ashore. It +pleased every-body, four coming cheaper than three, and Bill being that +good-tempered that 'e'd put up with anything, and when any of the three +quarrelled he used to act the part of peacemaker. + +[Illustration: "When any of the three quarrelled he used to act the part +of peacemaker."] + +The only thing about 'im that they didn't like was that 'e was a +teetotaler. He'd go into public-'ouses with 'em, but he wouldn't drink; +leastways, that is to say, he wouldn't drink beer, and Ginger used to say +that it made 'im feel uncomfortable to see Bill put away a bottle o' +lemonade every time they 'ad a drink. One night arter 'e had 'ad +seventeen bottles he could 'ardly got home, and Peter Russet, who knew a +lot about pills and such-like, pointed out to 'im 'ow bad it was for his +constitushon. He proved that the lemonade would eat away the coats o' +Bill's stomach, and that if 'e kept on 'e might drop down dead at any +moment. + +That frightened Bill a bit, and the next night, instead of 'aving +lemonade, 'e had five bottles o' stone ginger-beer, six of different +kinds of teetotal beer, three of soda-water, and two cups of coffee. I'm +not counting the drink he 'ad at the chemist's shop arterward, because he +took that as medicine, but he was so queer in 'is inside next morning +that 'e began to be afraid he'd 'ave to give up drink altogether. + +He went without the next night, but 'e was such a generous man that 'e +would pay every fourth time, and there was no pleasure to the other chaps +to see 'im pay and 'ave nothing out of it. It spoilt their evening, and +owing to 'aving only about 'arf wot they was accustomed to they all got +up very disagreeable next morning. + +"Why not take just a little beer, Bill?" asks Ginger. + +Bill 'ung his 'ead and looked a bit silly. "I'd rather not, mate," he +ses, at last. "I've been teetotal for eleven months now." + +"Think of your 'ealth, Bill," ses Peter Russet; "your 'ealth is more +important than the pledge. Wot made you take it?" + +Bill coughed. "I 'ad reasons," he ses, slowly. "A mate o' mine wished +me to." + +"He ought to ha' known better," ses Sam. "He 'ad 'is reasons," ses Bill. + +"Well, all I can say is, Bill," ses Ginger, "all I can say is, it's very +disobligin' of you." + +"Disobligin'?" ses Bill, with a start; "don't say that, mate." + +"I must say it," ses Ginger, speaking very firm. + +"You needn't take a lot, Bill," ses Sam; "nobody wants you to do that. +Just drink in moderation, same as wot we do." + +"It gets into my 'ead," ses Bill, at last. + +"Well, and wot of it?" ses Ginger; "it gets into everybody's 'ead +occasionally. Why, one night old Sam 'ere went up behind a policeman and +tickled 'im under the arms; didn't you, Sam?" + +"I did nothing o' the kind," ses Sam, firing up. + +"Well, you was fined ten bob for it next morning, that's all I know," ses +Ginger. + +"I was fined ten bob for punching 'im," ses old Sam, very wild. "I never +tickled a policeman in my life. I never thought o' such a thing. I'd no +more tickle a policeman than I'd fly. Anybody that ses I did is a liar. +Why should I? Where does the sense come in? Wot should I want to do it +for?" + +"All right, Sam," ses Ginger, sticking 'is fingers in 'is ears, "you +didn't, then." + +"No, I didn't," ses Sam, "and don't you forget it. This ain't the fust +time you've told that lie about me. I can take a joke with any man; but +anybody that goes and ses I tickled--" + +"All right," ses Ginger and Peter Russet together. "You'll 'ave tickled +policeman on the brain if you ain't careful, Sam," ses Peter. + +Old Sam sat down growling, and Ginger Dick turned to Bill agin. "It gets +into everybody's 'ead at times," he ses, "and where's the 'arm? It's wot +it was meant for." + +Bill shook his 'ead, but when Ginger called 'im disobligin' agin he gave +way and he broke the pledge that very evening with a pint o' six 'arf. + +Ginger was surprised to see the way 'e took his liquor. Arter three or +four pints he'd expected to see 'im turn a bit silly, or sing, or do +something o' the kind, but Bill kept on as if 'e was drinking water. + +"Think of the 'armless pleasure you've been losing all these months, +Bill," ses Ginger, smiling at him. + +Bill said it wouldn't bear thinking of, and, the next place they came to +he said some rather 'ard things of the man who'd persuaded 'im to take +the pledge. He 'ad two or three more there, and then they began to see +that it was beginning to have an effect on 'im. The first one that +noticed it was Ginger Dick. Bill 'ad just lit 'is pipe, and as he threw +the match down he ses: "I don't like these 'ere safety matches," he ses. + +"Don't you, Bill?" ses Ginger. "I do, rather." + +"Oh, you do, do you?" ses Bill, turning on 'im like lightning; "well, +take that for contradictin'," he ses, an' he gave Ginger a smack that +nearly knocked his 'ead off. + +It was so sudden that old Sam and Peter put their beer down and stared at +each other as if they couldn't believe their eyes. Then they stooped +down and helped pore Ginger on to 'is legs agin and began to brush 'im +down. + +"Never mind about 'im, mates," ses Bill, looking at Ginger very wicked. +"P'r'aps he won't be so ready to give me 'is lip next time. Let's come +to another pub and enjoy ourselves." + +Sam and Peter followed 'im out like lambs, 'ardly daring to look over +their shoulder at Ginger, who was staggering arter them some distance +behind a 'olding a handerchief to 'is face. + +"It's your turn to pay, Sam," ses Bill, when they'd got inside the next +place. "Wot's it to be? Give it a name." + +"Three 'arf pints o' four ale, miss," ses Sam, not because 'e was mean, +but because it wasn't 'is turn. "Three wot?" ses Bill, turning on 'im. + +"Three pots o' six ale, miss," ses Sam, in a hurry. + +"That wasn't wot you said afore," ses Bill. "Take that," he ses, giving +pore old Sam a wipe in the mouth and knocking 'im over a stool; "take +that for your sauce." + +Peter Russet stood staring at Sam and wondering wot Bill ud be like when +he'd 'ad a little more. Sam picked hisself up arter a time and went +outside to talk to Ginger about it, and then Bill put 'is arm round +Peter's neck and began to cry a bit and say 'e was the only pal he'd got +left in the world. It was very awkward for Peter, and more awkward still +when the barman came up and told 'im to take Bill outside. + +"Go on," he ses, "out with 'im." + +"He's all right," ses Peter, trembling; "we's the truest-'arted gentleman +in London. Ain't you, Bill?" + +Bill said he was, and 'e asked the barman to go and hide 'is face because +it reminded 'im of a little dog 'e had 'ad once wot 'ad died. + +"You get outside afore you're hurt," ses the bar-man. + +Bill punched at 'im over the bar, and not being able to reach 'im threw +Peter's pot o' beer at 'im. There was a fearful to-do then, and the +landlord jumped over the bar and stood in the doorway, whistling for the +police. Bill struck out right and left, and the men in the bar went down +like skittles, Peter among them. Then they got outside, and Bill, arter +giving the landlord a thump in the back wot nearly made him swallow the +whistle, jumped into a cab and pulled Peter Russet in arter 'im. + +[Illustration: "Bill jumped into a cab and pulled Peter Russet in arter +'im."] + +"I'll talk to you by-and-by," he ses, as the cab drove off at a gallop; +"there ain't room in this cab. You wait, my lad, that's all. You just +wait till we get out, and I'll knock you silly." + +"Wot for, Bill?" ses Peter, staring. + +"Don't you talk to me," roars Bill. "If I choose to knock you about +that's my business, ain't it? Besides, you know very well." + +He wouldn't let Peter say another word, but coming to a quiet place near +the docks he stopped the cab and pulling 'im out gave 'im such a dressing +down that Peter thought 'is last hour 'ad arrived. He let 'im go at +last, and after first making him pay the cab-man took 'im along till they +came to a public-'ouse and made 'im pay for drinks. + +They stayed there till nearly eleven o'clock, and then Bill set off home +'olding the unfortunit Peter by the scruff o' the neck, and wondering out +loud whether 'e ought to pay 'im a bit more or not. Afore 'e could make +up 'is mind, however, he turned sleepy, and, throwing 'imself down on the +bed which was meant for the two of 'em, fell into a peaceful sleep. + +Sam and Ginger Dick came in a little while arterward, both badly marked +where Bill 'ad hit them, and sat talking to Peter in whispers as to wot +was to be done. Ginger, who 'ad plenty of pluck, was for them all to set +on to 'im, but Sam wouldn't 'ear of it, and as for Peter he was so sore +he could 'ardly move. + +They all turned in to the other bed at last, 'arf afraid to move for fear +of disturbing Bill, and when they woke up in the morning and see 'im +sitting up in 'is bed they lay as still as mice. + +"Why, Ginger, old chap," ses Bill, with a 'earty smile, "wot are you all +three in one bed for?" "We was a bit cold," ses Ginger. + +"Cold?" ses Bill. "Wot, this weather? We 'ad a bit of a spree last +night, old man, didn't we? My throat's as dry as a cinder." + +"It ain't my idea of a spree," ses Ginger, sitting up and looking at 'im. + +"Good 'eavens, Ginger!" ses Bill, starting back, "wotever 'ave you been +a-doing to your face? Have you been tumbling off of a 'bus?" + +Ginger couldn't answer; and Sam Small and Peter sat up in bed alongside +of 'im, and Bill, getting as far back on 'is bed as he could, sat staring +at their pore faces as if 'e was having a 'orrible dream. + +"And there's Sam," he ses. "Where ever did you get that mouth, Sam?" + +"Same place as Ginger got 'is eye and pore Peter got 'is face," ses Sam, +grinding his teeth. + +"You don't mean to tell me," ses Bill, in a sad voice--"you don't mean to +tell me that I did it?" + +"You know well enough," ses Ginger. + +Bill looked at 'em, and 'is face got as long as a yard measure. + +"I'd 'oped I'd growed out of it, mates," he ses, at last, "but drink +always takes me like that. I can't keep a pal." + +"You surprise me," ses Ginger, sarcastic-like. "Don't talk like that, +Ginger," ses Bill, 'arf crying. + +"It ain't my fault; it's my weakness. Wot did I do it for?" + +"I don't know," ses Ginger, "but you won't get the chance of doing it +agin, I'll tell you that much." + +"I daresay I shall be better to-night, Ginger," ses Bill, very humble; +"it don't always take me that way. + +"Well, we don't want you with us any more," ses old Sam, 'olding his 'ead +very high. + +"You'll 'ave to go and get your beer by yourself, Bill," ses Peter +Russet, feeling 'is bruises with the tips of 'is fingers. + +"But then I should be worse," ses Bill. "I want cheerful company when +I'm like that. I should very likely come 'ome and 'arf kill you all in +your beds. You don't 'arf know what I'm like. Last night was nothing, +else I should 'ave remembered it." + +"Cheerful company?" ses old Sam. 'Ow do you think company's going to be +cheerful when you're carrying on like that, Bill? Why don't you go away +and leave us alone?" + +"Because I've got a 'art," ses Bill. "I can't chuck up pals in that +free-and-easy way. Once I take a liking to anybody I'd do anything for +'em, and I've never met three chaps I like better than wot I do you. +Three nicer, straight-forrad, free-'anded mates I've never met afore." + +"Why not take the pledge agin, Bill?" ses Peter Russet. + +"No, mate," ses Bill, with a kind smile; "it's just a weakness, and I +must try and grow out of it. I'll tie a bit o' string round my little +finger to-night as a re-minder." + +He got out of bed and began to wash 'is face, and Ginger Dick, who was +doing a bit o' thinking, gave a whisper to Sam and Peter Russet. + +"All right, Bill, old man," he ses, getting out of bed and beginning to +put his clothes on; "but first of all we'll try and find out 'ow the +landlord is." + +"Landlord?" ses Bill, puffing and blowing in the basin. "Wot landlord?" + +"Why, the one you bashed," ses Ginger, with a wink at the other two. "He +'adn't got 'is senses back when me and Sam came away." + +Bill gave a groan and sat on the bed while 'e dried himself, and Ginger +told 'im 'ow he 'ad bent a quart pot on the landlord's 'ead, and 'ow the +landlord 'ad been carried upstairs and the doctor sent for. He began to +tremble all over, and when Ginger said he'd go out and see 'ow the land +lay 'e could 'ardly thank 'im enough. + +He stayed in the bedroom all day, with the blinds down, and wouldn't eat +anything, and when Ginger looked in about eight o'clock to find out +whether he 'ad gone, he found 'im sitting on the bed clean shaved, and +'is face cut about all over where the razor 'ad slipped. + +Ginger was gone about two hours, and when 'e came back he looked so +solemn that old Sam asked 'im whether he 'ad seen a ghost. Ginger didn't +answer 'im; he set down on the side o' the bed and sat thinking. + +"I s'pose--I s'pose it's nice and fresh in the streets this morning?" +ses Bill, at last, in a trembling voice. + +Ginger started and looked at 'im. "I didn't notice, mate," he ses. Then +'e got up and patted Bill on the back, very gentle, and sat down again. + +[Illustration: "Patted Bill on the back, very gentle."] + +"Anything wrong, Ginger?" asks Peter Russet, staring at 'im. + +"It's that landlord," ses Ginger; "there's straw down in the road +outside, and they say that he's dying. Pore old Bill don't know 'is own +strength. The best thing you can do, old pal, is to go as far away as +you can, at once." + +"I shouldn't wait a minnit if it was me," ses old Sam. + +Bill groaned and hid 'is face in his 'ands, and then Peter Russet went +and spoilt things by saying that the safest place for a murderer to 'ide +in was London. Bill gave a dreadful groan when 'e said murderer, but 'e +up and agreed with Peter, and all Sam and Ginger Dick could do wouldn't +make 'im alter his mind. He said that he would shave off 'is beard and +moustache, and when night came 'e would creep out and take a lodging +somewhere right the other end of London. + +"It'll soon be dark," ses Ginger, "and your own brother wouldn't know you +now, Bill. Where d'you think of going?" + +Bill shook his 'ead. "Nobody must know that, mate," he ses. "I must go +into hiding for as long as I can--as long as my money lasts; I've only +got six pounds left." + +"That'll last a long time if you're careful," ses Ginger. + +"I want a lot more," ses Bill. "I want you to take this silver ring as a +keepsake, Ginger. If I 'ad another six pounds or so I should feel much +safer. 'Ow much 'ave you got, Ginger?" + +"Not much," ses Ginger, shaking his 'ead. + +"Lend it to me, mate," ses Bill, stretching out his 'and. "You can easy +get another ship. Ah, I wish I was you; I'd be as 'appy as 'appy if I +hadn't got a penny." + +"I'm very sorry, Bill," ses Ginger, trying to smile, "but I've already +promised to lend it to a man wot we met this evening. A promise is a +promise, else I'd lend it to you with pleasure." + +"Would you let me be 'ung for the sake of a few pounds, Ginger?" ses +Bill, looking at 'im reproach-fully. "I'm a desprit man, Ginger, and I +must 'ave that money." + +Afore pore Ginger could move he suddenly clapped 'is hand over 'is mouth +and flung 'im on the bed. Ginger was like a child in 'is hands, although +he struggled like a madman, and in five minutes 'e was laying there with +a towel tied round his mouth and 'is arms and legs tied up with the cord +off of Sam's chest. + +"I'm very sorry, Ginger," ses Bill, as 'e took a little over eight pounds +out of Ginger's pocket. "I'll pay you back one o' these days, if I can. +If you'd got a rope round your neck same as I 'ave you'd do the same as +I've done." + +He lifted up the bedclothes and put Ginger inside and tucked 'im up. +Ginger's face was red with passion and 'is eyes starting out of his 'ead. + +"Eight and six is fifteen," ses Bill, and just then he 'eard somebody +coming up the stairs. Ginger 'eard it, too, and as Peter Russet came +into the room 'e tried all 'e could to attract 'is attention by rolling +'is 'ead from side to side. + +"Why, 'as Ginger gone to bed?" ses Peter. "Wot's up, Ginger?" + +"He's all right," ses Bill; "just a bit of a 'eadache." + +Peter stood staring at the bed, and then 'e pulled the clothes off and +saw pore Ginger all tied up, and making awful eyes at 'im to undo him. + +"I 'ad to do it, Peter," ses Bill. "I wanted some more money to escape +with, and 'e wouldn't lend it to me. I 'aven't got as much as I want +now. You just came in in the nick of time. Another minute and you'd ha' +missed me. 'Ow much 'ave you got?" + +"Ah, I wish I could lend you some, Bill," ses Peter Russet, turning pale, +"but I've 'ad my pocket picked; that's wot I came back for, to get some +from Ginger." + +Bill didn't say a word. + +"You see 'ow it is, Bill," ses Peter, edging back toward the door; "three +men laid 'old of me and took every farthing I'd got." + +"Well, I can't rob you, then," ses Bill, catching 'old of 'im. +"Whoever's money this is," he ses, pulling a handful out o' Peter's +pocket, "it can't be yours. Now, if you make another sound I'll knock +your 'ead off afore I tie you up." + +"Don't tie me up, Bill," ses Peter, struggling. + +"I can't trust you," ses Bill, dragging 'im over to the washstand and +taking up the other towel; "turn round." + +Peter was a much easier job than Ginger Dick, and arter Bill 'ad done 'im +'e put 'im in alongside o' Ginger and covered 'em up, arter first tying +both the gags round with some string to prevent 'em slipping. + +"Mind, I've only borrowed it," he ses, standing by the side o' the bed; +"but I must say, mates, I'm disappointed in both of you. If either of +you 'ad 'ad the misfortune wot I've 'ad, I'd have sold the clothes off my +back to 'elp you. And I wouldn't 'ave waited to be asked neither." + +He stood there for a minute very sorrowful, and then 'e patted both their +'eads and went downstairs. Ginger and Peter lay listening for a bit, and +then they turned their pore bound-up faces to each other and tried to +talk with their eyes. + +Then Ginger began to wriggle and try and twist the cords off, but 'e +might as well 'ave tried to wriggle out of 'is skin. The worst of it was +they couldn't make known their intentions to each other, and when Peter +Russet leaned over 'im and tried to work 'is gag off by rubbing it up +agin 'is nose, Ginger pretty near went crazy with temper. He banged +Peter with his 'ead, and Peter banged back, and they kept it up till +they'd both got splitting 'eadaches, and at last they gave up in despair +and lay in the darkness waiting for Sam. + +And all this time Sam was sitting in the Red Lion, waiting for them. He +sat there quite patient till twelve o'clock and then walked slowly 'ome, +wondering wot 'ad happened and whether Bill had gone. + +Ginger was the fust to 'ear 'is foot on the stairs, and as he came into +the room, in the darkness, him an' Peter Russet started shaking their bed +in a way that scared old Sam nearly to death. He thought it was Bill +carrying on agin, and 'e was out o' that door and 'arf-way downstairs +afore he stopped to take breath. He stood there trembling for about ten +minutes, and then, as nothing 'appened, he walked slowly upstairs agin on +tiptoe, and as soon as they heard the door creak Peter and Ginger made +that bed do everything but speak. + +"Is that you, Bill?" ses old Sam, in a shaky voice, and standing ready +to dash downstairs agin. + +There was no answer except for the bed, and Sam didn't know whether Bill +was dying or whether 'e 'ad got delirium trimmings. All 'e did know was +that 'e wasn't going to sleep in that room. He shut the door gently and +went downstairs agin, feeling in 'is pocket for a match, and, not finding +one, 'e picked out the softest stair 'e could find and, leaning his 'ead +agin the banisters, went to sleep. + +[Illustration: "Picked out the softest stair 'e could find."] + +It was about six o'clock when 'e woke up, and broad daylight. He was +stiff and sore all over, and feeling braver in the light 'e stepped +softly upstairs and opened the door. Peter and Ginger was waiting for +'im, and as he peeped in 'e saw two things sitting up in bed with their +'air standing up all over like mops and their faces tied up with +bandages. He was that startled 'e nearly screamed, and then 'e stepped +into the room and stared at 'em as if he couldn't believe 'is eyes. + +"Is that you, Ginger?" he ses. "Wot d'ye mean by making sights of +yourselves like that? 'Ave you took leave of your senses?" + +Ginger and Peter shook their 'eads and rolled their eyes, and then Sam +see wot was the matter with 'em. Fust thing 'e did was to pull out 'is +knife and cut Ginger's gag off, and the fust thing Ginger did was to call +'im every name 'e could lay his tongue to. + +"You wait a moment," he screams, 'arf crying with rage. "You wait till I +get my 'ands loose and I'll pull you to pieces. The idea o' leaving us +like this all night, you old crocodile. I 'eard you come in. I'll pay +you." + +Sam didn't answer 'im. He cut off Peter Russet's gag, and Peter Russet +called 'im 'arf a score o' names without taking breath. + +"And when Ginger's finished I'll 'ave a go at you," he ses. "Cut off +these lines." + +"At once, d'ye hear?" ses Ginger. "Oh, you wait till I get my 'ands on +you." + +Sam didn't answer 'em; he shut up 'is knife with a click and then 'e sat +at the foot o' the bed on Ginger's feet and looked at 'em. It wasn't the +fust time they'd been rude to 'im, but as a rule he'd 'ad to put up with +it. He sat and listened while Ginger swore 'imself faint. + +"That'll do," he ses, at last; "another word and I shall put the +bedclothes over your 'ead. Afore I do anything more I want to know wot +it's all about." + +Peter told 'im, arter fust calling 'im some more names, because Ginger +was past it, and when 'e'd finished old Sam said 'ow surprised he was +at them for letting Bill do it, and told 'em how they ought to 'ave +prevented it. He sat there talking as though 'e enjoyed the sound of 'is +own voice, and he told Peter and Ginger all their faults and said wot +sorrow it caused their friends. Twice he 'ad to throw the bedclothes +over their 'eads because o' the noise they was making. + +[Illustration: "Old Sam said 'ow surprised he was at them for letting +Bill do it."] + +"_Are you going--to undo--us?_" ses Ginger, at last. + +"No, Ginger," ses old Sam; "in justice to myself I couldn't do it. Arter +wot you've said--and arter wot I've said--my life wouldn't be safe. +Besides which, you'd want to go shares in my money." + +He took up 'is chest and marched downstairs with it, and about 'arf an +hour arterward the landlady's 'usband came up and set 'em free. As soon +as they'd got the use of their legs back they started out to look for +Sam, but they didn't find 'im for nearly a year, and as for Bill, they +never set eyes on 'im again. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Bill's Lapse, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12204 *** |