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diff --git a/old/12129-h.zip b/old/12129-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e7e46a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12129-h.zip diff --git a/old/12129-h/006.jpg b/old/12129-h/006.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2fddb17 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12129-h/006.jpg diff --git a/old/12129-h/12129-h.htm b/old/12129-h/12129-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c31948c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12129-h/12129-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1045 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>THE LADY OF THE BARGE AND OTHERS, Book 9</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"> +<style type="text/css"> +<!-- +body {margin:10%; text-align:justify} +img {border: 0;} +--> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Mixed Proposal, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Mixed Proposal + The Lady of the Barge and Others, Part 9. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 22, 2004 [EBook #12129] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MIXED PROPOSAL *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="cover.jpg (102K)" src="cover.jpg" height="923" width="738"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title.jpg (40K)" src="title.jpg" height="602" width="442"> +</center> +<br><br> + + + +<center> +<h1>THE LADY OF THE BARGE<br><br> +AND OTHER STORIES</h1> +<br><br> +<h2>By W. W. Jacobs</h2> +<br><br> +<h3>BOOK 9</h3> +<br><br> +</center> + +<a name="frontis"></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="frontis.jpg (80K)" src="frontis.jpg" height="742" width="503"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<br><br><br><br> + + + + +<br><br><hr><br><br> + +<a name="c9"></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<h2> +A MIXED PROPOSAL +</h2> +</center> +<br> + +<p>Major Brill, late of the Fenshire Volununteers, stood in front of the +small piece of glass in the hatstand, and with a firm and experienced +hand gave his new silk hat a slight tilt over the right eye. Then he +took his cane and a new pair of gloves, and with a military but squeaky +tread, passed out into the road. It was a glorious day in early autumn, +and the soft English landscape was looking its best, but despite the fact +that there was nothing more alarming in sight than a few cows on the +hillside a mile away, the Major paused at his gate, and his face took on +an appearance of the greatest courage and resolution before proceeding. +The road was dusty and quiet, except for the children playing at cottage +doors, and so hot that the Major, heedless of the fact that he could not +replace the hat at exactly the same angle, stood in the shade of a tree +while he removed it and mopped his heated brow.</p> + +<p>He proceeded on his way more leisurely, overtaking, despite his lack of +speed, another man who was walking still more slowly in the shade of the +hedge.</p> + +<p>"Fine day, Halibut," he said, briskly; "fine day."</p> + +<p>"Beautiful," said the other, making no attempt to keep pace with him.</p> + +<p>"Country wants rain, though," cried the Major over his shoulder.</p> + +<p>Halibut assented, and walking slowly on, wondered vaguely what gaudy +color it was that had attracted his eye. It dawned on him at length that +it must be the Major's tie, and he suddenly quickened his pace, by no +means reassured as the man of war also quickened his.</p> + +<p>"Halloa, Brill!" he cried. "Half a moment."</p> + +<p>The Major stopped and waited for his friend; Halibut eyed the tie +uneasily—it was fearfully and wonderfully made—but said nothing.</p> + +<p>"Well?" said the Major, somewhat sharply.</p> + +<p>"Oh—I was going to ask you, Brill—Confound it! I've forgotten what I +was going to say now. I daresay I shall soon think of it. You're not in +a hurry?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I am, rather," said Brill. "Fact is— Is my hat on straight, +Halibut?"</p> + +<p>The other assuring him that it was, the Major paused in his career, and +gripping the brim with both hands, deliberately tilted it over the right +eye again.</p> + +<p>"You were saying—" said Halibut, regarding this manoeuvre with secret +disapproval.</p> + +<p>"Yes," murmured the Major, "I was saying. Well, I don't mind telling an +old friend like you, Halibut, though it is a profound secret. Makes me +rather particular about my dress just now. Women notice these things. +I'm—sha'nt get much sympathy from a confirmed old bachelor like you—but +I'm on my way to put a very momentous question."</p> + +<p>"The devil you are!" said the other, blankly.</p> + +<p>"Sir!" said the astonished Major.</p> + +<p>"Not Mrs. Riddel?" said Halibut.</p> + +<p>"Certainly, sir," said the Major, stiffly. "Why not?"</p> + +<p>"Only that I am going on the same errand," said the confirmed bachelor, +with desperate calmness.</p> + +<p>The Major looked at him, and for the first time noticed an unusual +neatness and dressiness in his friend's attire. His collar was higher +than usual; his tie, of the whitest and finest silk, bore a pin he never +remembered to have seen before; and for the first time since he had known +him, the Major, with a strange sinking at the heart, saw that he wore +spats.</p> + +<p>"This is extraordinary," he said, briefly. "Well, good-day, Halibut. +Can't stop."</p> + +<p>"Good-day," said the other.</p> + +<p>The Major quickened his pace and shot ahead, and keeping in the shade of +the hedge, ground his teeth as the civilian on the other side of the road +slowly, but surely, gained on him.</p> + +<p>It became exciting. The Major was handicapped by his upright bearing and +short military stride; the other, a simple child of the city, bent +forward, swinging his arms and taking immense strides. At a by-lane they +picked up three small boys, who, trotting in their rear, made it evident +by their remarks that they considered themselves the privileged +spectators of a foot-race. The Major could stand it no longer, and with +a cut of his cane at the foremost boy, softly called a halt.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Halibut, stopping.</p> + +<p>The man's manner was suspicious, not to say offensive, and the other had +much ado to speak him fair.</p> + +<p>"This is ridiculous," he said, trying to smile. "We can't walk in and +propose in a duet. One of us must go to-day and the other to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"Certainly," said Halibut; "that'll be the best plan."</p> + +<p>"So childish," said the Major, with a careless laugh, "two fellows +walking in hot and tired and proposing to her."</p> + +<p>"Absurd," replied Halibut, and both men eyed each other carefully.</p> + +<p>"So, if I'm unsuccessful, old chap," said the Major, in a voice which he +strove to render natural and easy, "I will come straight back to your +place and let you know, so as not to keep you in suspense."</p> + +<p>"You're very good," said Halibut, with some emotion; "but I think I'll +take to-day, because I have every reason to believe that I have got one +of my bilious attacks coming on to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"Pooh! fancy, my dear fellow," said the Major, heartily; "I never saw you +look better in my life."</p> + +<p>"That's one of the chief signs," replied Halibut, shaking his head. "I'm +afraid I must go to-day."</p> + +<p>"I really cannot waive my right on account of your bilious attack," said +the Major haughtily.</p> + +<p>"Your right?" said Halibut, with spirit.</p> + +<p>"My right!" repeated the other. "I should have been there before you if +you had not stopped me in the first place."</p> + +<p>"But I started first," said Halibut.</p> + +<p>"Prove it," exclaimed the Major, warmly.</p> + +<p>The other shrugged his shoulders.</p> + +<p>"I shall certainly not give way," he said, calmly. "This is a matter in +which my whole future is concerned. It seems very odd, not to say +inconvenient, that you should have chosen the same day as myself, Brill, +for such an errand—very odd."</p> + +<p>"It's quite an accident," asseverated the Major; "as a matter of fact, +Halibut, I nearly went yesterday. That alone gives me, I think, some +claim to precedence."</p> + +<p>"Just so," said Halibut, slowly; "it constitutes an excellent claim."</p> + +<p>The Major regarded him with moistening eyes. This was generous and +noble. His opinion of Halibut rose. "And now you have been so frank +with me," said the latter, "it is only fair that you should know I +started out with the same intention three days ago and found her out. +So far as claims go, I think mine leads."</p> + +<p>"Pure matter of opinion," said the disgusted Major; "it really seems as +though we want an arbitrator. Well, we'll have to make our call +together, I suppose, but I'll take care not to give you any opportunity, +Halibut, so don't cherish any delusions on that point. Even you wouldn't +have the hardihood to propose before a third party, I should think; but +if you do, I give you fair warning that I shall begin, too."</p> + +<p>"This is most unseemly," said Halibut. "We'd better both go home and +leave it for another day."</p> + +<p>"When do you propose going, then?" asked the Major.</p> + +<p>"Really, I haven't made up my mind," replied the other.</p> + +<p>The Major shrugged his shoulders.</p> + +<p>"It won't do, Halibut," he said, grimly; "it won't do. I'm too old a +soldier to be caught that way."</p> + +<p>There was a long pause. The Major mopped his brow again. "I've got it," +he said at last.</p> + +<p>Halibut looked at him curiously.</p> + +<p>"We must play for first proposal," said the Major, firmly. "We're pretty +evenly matched."</p> + +<p>"Chess?" gasped the other, a whole world of protest in his tones.</p> + +<p>"Chess," repeated the Major.</p> + +<p>"It is hardly respectful," demurred Halibut. "What do you think the lady +would do if she heard of it?"</p> + +<p>"Laugh," replied the Major, with conviction.</p> + +<p>"I believe she would," said the other, brightening. "I believe she +would."</p> + +<p>"You agree, then?"</p> + +<p>"With conditions."</p> + +<p>"Conditions?" repeated the Major.</p> + +<p>"One game," said Halibut, speaking very slowly and distinctly; "and if +the winner is refused, the loser not to propose until he gives him +permission."</p> + +<p>"What the deuce for?" inquired the other, suspiciously.</p> + +<p>"Suppose I win," replied Halibut, with suspicious glibness, "and was so +upset that I had one of my bilious attacks come on, where should I be? +Why, I might have to break off in the middle and go home. A fellow can't +propose when everything in the room is going round and round."</p> + +<p>"I don't think you ought to contemplate marriage, Halibut," remarked the +Major, very seriously and gently.</p> + +<p>"Thanks," said Halibut, dryly.</p> + +<p>"Very well," said the Major, "I agree to the conditions. Better come to +my place and we'll decide it now. If we look sharp, the winner may be +able to know his fate to-day, after all."</p> + +<p>Halibut assenting, they walked back together. The feverish joy of the +gambler showed in the Major's eye as they drew their chairs up to the +little antique chess table and began to place their pieces ready for the +fray. Then a thought struck him, and he crossed over to the sideboard.</p> + +<p>"If you're feeling a bit off colour, Halibut," he said, kindly, "you'd +better have a little brandy to pull yourself together. I don't wish to +take a mean advantage."</p> + +<p>"You're very good," said the other, as he eyed the noble measure of +liquid poured out by his generous adversary.</p> + +<p>"And now to business," said the Major, as he drew himself a little soda +from a siphon.</p> + +<p>"Now to business," repeated Halibut, rising and placing his glass on the +mantel-piece.</p> + +<p>The Major struggled fiercely with his feelings, but, despite himself, a +guilty blush lent colour to the other's unfounded suspicions.</p> + +<p>"Remember the conditions," said Halibut, impressively.</p> + +<p>"Here's my hand on it," said the other, reaching over.</p> + +<p>Halibut took it, and, his thoughts being at the moment far away, gave it +a tender, respectful squeeze. The Major stared and coughed. It was +suggestive of practice.</p> + +<p>If the history of the duel is ever written, it will be found not unworthy +of being reckoned with the most famous combats of ancient times. Piece +after piece was removed from the board, and the Major drank glass after +glass of soda to cool his heated brain. At the second glass Halibut took +an empty tumbler and helped himself. Suddenly there was a singing in the +Major's ears, and a voice, a hateful, triumphant voice, said,</p> + +<p>"Checkmate!"</p> + +<p>Then did his gaze wander from knight to bishop and bishop to castle in a +vain search for succour. There was his king defied by a bishop—a bishop +which had been hobnobbing with pawns in one corner of the board, and +which he could have sworn he had captured and removed full twenty minutes +before. He mentioned this impression to Halibut.</p> + +<p>"That was the other one," said his foe. "I thought you had forgotten +this. I have been watching and hoping so for the last half-hour."</p> + +<p>There was no disguising the coarse satisfaction of the man. He had +watched and hoped. Not beaten him, so the Major told himself, in fair +play, but by taking a mean and pitiful advantage of a pure oversight. A +sheer oversight. He admitted it.</p> + +<p>Halibut rose with a sigh of relief, and the Major, mechanically sweeping +up the pieces, dropped them one by one into the box.</p> + +<p>"Plenty of time," said the victor, glancing at the clock. "I shall go +now, but I should like a wash first."</p> + +<p>The Major rose, and in his capacity of host led the way upstairs to his +room, and poured fresh water for his foe. Halibut washed himself +delicately, carefully trimming his hair and beard, and anxiously +consulting the Major as to the set of his coat in the back, after +he had donned it again.</p> + +<p>His toilet completed, he gave a satisfied glance in the glass, and then +followed the man of war sedately down stairs. At the hall he paused, and +busied himself with the clothes-brush and hat-pad, modestly informing his +glaring friend that he could not afford to throw any chances away, and +then took his departure.</p> + +<p>The Major sat up late that night waiting for news, but none came, and by +breakfast-time next morning his thirst for information became almost +uncontrollable. He toyed with a chop and allowed his coffee to get cold. +Then he clapped on his hat and set off to Halibut's to know the worst.</p> + +<p>"Well?" he inquired, as he followed the other into his dining-room.</p> + +<p>"I went," said Halibut, waving him to a chair.</p> + +<p>"Am I to congratulate you?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't know," was the reply; "perhaps not just yet."</p> + +<p>"What do you mean by that?" said the Major, irascibly.</p> + +<p>"Well, as a matter of fact," said Halibut, "she refused me, but so nicely +and so gently that I scarcely minded it. In fact, at first I hardly +realized that she had refused me."</p> + +<p>The Major rose, and regarding his poor friend kindly, shook and patted +him lightly on the shoulder.</p> + +<p>"She's a splendid woman," said Halibut. "Ornament to her sex," remarked +the Major.</p> + +<p>"So considerate," murmured the bereaved one.</p> + +<p>"Good women always are," said the Major, decisively. "I don't think I'd +better worry her to-day, Halibut, do you?"</p> + +<p>"No, I don't," said Halibut, stiffly.</p> + +<p>"I'll try my luck to-morrow," said the Major.</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon," said Halibut.</p> + +<p>"Eh?" said the Major, trying to look puzzled.</p> + +<p>"You are forgetting the conditions of the game," replied Halibut. "You +have to obtain my permission first."</p> + +<p>"Why, my dear fellow," said the Major, with a boisterous laugh. +"I wouldn't insult you by questioning your generosity in such a case. +No, no, Halibut, old fellow, I know you too well."</p> + +<p>He spoke with feeling, but there was an anxious note in his voice.</p> + +<p>"We must abide by the conditions," said Halibut, slowly; "and I must +inform you, Brill, that I intend to renew the attack myself."</p> + +<p>"Then, sir," said the Major, fuming, "you compel me to say—putting all +modesty aside—that I believe the reason Mrs. Riddel would have nothing +to do with you was because she thought somebody else might make a similar +offer."</p> + +<p>"That's what I thought," said Halibut, simply; "but you see now that you +have so unaccountably—so far as Mrs. Riddel is concerned—dropped out of +the running, perhaps, if I am gently persistent, she'll take me."</p> + +<p>The Major rose and glared at him.</p> + +<p>"If you don't take care, old chap," said Halibut, tenderly, "you'll burst +something."</p> + +<p>"Gently persistent," repeated the Major, staring at him; "gently +persistent."</p> + +<p>"Remember Bruce and his spider," smiled the other.</p> + +<p>"You are not going to propose to that poor woman nine times?" roared his +incensed friend.</p> + +<p>"I hope that it will not be necessary," was the reply; "but if it is, I +can assure you, my dear Brill, that I'm not going to be outclassed by a +mere spider."</p> + +<p>"But think of her feelings!" gasped the Major.</p> + +<p>"I have," was the reply; "and I'm sure she'll thank me for it afterward. +You see, Brill, you and I are the only eligibles in the place, and now +you are out of it, she's sure to take me sooner or later."</p> + +<p>"And pray how long am I to wait?" demanded the Major, controlling +himself with difficulty.</p> + +<p>"I can't say," said Halibut; "but I don't think it's any good your +waiting at all, because if I see any signs that Mrs. Riddel is waiting +for you I may just give her a hint of the hopelessness of it."</p> + +<p>"You're a perfect Mephistopheles, sir!" bawled the indignant Major. +Halibut bowed.</p> + +<p>"Strategy, my dear Brill," he said, smiling; "strategy. Now why waste +your time? Why not make some other woman happy? Why not try her +companion, Miss Philpotts? I'm sure any little assistance—"</p> + +<p>The Major's attitude was so alarming that the sentence was never +finished, and a second later the speaker found himself alone, watching +his irate friend hurrying frantically down the path, knocking the blooms +off the geraniums with his cane as he went. He saw no more of him for +several weeks, the Major preferring to cherish his resentment in the +privacy of his house. The Major also refrained from seeing the widow, +having a wholesome dread as to what effect the contemplation of her +charms might have upon his plighted word.</p> + +<p>He met her at last by chance. Mrs. Riddel bowed coldly and would have +passed on, but the Major had already stopped, and was making wild and +unmerited statements about the weather.</p> + +<p>"It is seasonable," she said, simply.</p> + +<p>The Major agreed with her, and with a strong-effort regained his +composure.</p> + +<p>"I was just going to turn back," he said, untruthfully; "may I walk with +you?"</p> + +<p>"I am not going far," was the reply.</p> + +<p>With soldierly courage the Major took this as permission; with feminine +precision Mrs. Riddel walked about fifty yards and then stopped. "I told +you I wasn't going far," she said sweetly, as she held out her hand. +"Goodby."</p> + +<p>"I wanted to ask you something," said the Major, turning with her. "I +can't think what it was.</p> + +<p>They walked on very slowly, the Major's heart beating rapidly as he told +himself that the lady's coldness was due to his neglect of the past few +weeks, and his wrath against Halibut rose to still greater heights as he +saw the cruel position in which that schemer had placed him. Then he +made a sudden resolution. There was no condition as to secrecy, and, +first turning the conversation on to indoor amusements, he told the +astonished Mrs. Riddel the full particulars of the fatal game. Mrs. +Riddel said that she would never forgive them; it was the most +preposterous thing she had ever heard of. And she demanded hotly whether +she was to spend the rest of her life in refusing Mr. Halibut.</p> + +<p>"Do you play high as a rule?" she inquired, scornfully.</p> + +<p>"Sixpence a game," replied the Major, simply.</p> + +<p>The corners of Mrs. Riddel's mouth relaxed, and her fine eyes began to +water; then she turned her head away and laughed. "It was very foolish +of us, I admit," said the Major, ruefully, "and very wrong. I shouldn't +have told you, only I couldn't explain my apparent neglect without."</p> + +<p>"Apparent neglect?" repeated the widow, somewhat haughtily.</p> + +<p>"Well, put it down to a guilty conscience," said the Major; "it seems +years to me since I have seen you."</p> + +<p>"Remember the conditions, Major Brill," said Mrs. Riddel, with severity.</p> + +<p>"I shall not transgress them," replied the Major, seriously.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Riddel gave her head a toss, and regarded him from the corner of her +eyes.</p> + +<p>"I am very angry with you, indeed," she said, severely. The Major +apologized again. "For losing," added the lady, looking straight before +her.</p> + +<p>Major Brill caught his breath and his knees trembled beneath him. He +made a half-hearted attempt to seize her hand, and then remembering his +position, sighed deeply and looked straight before him. They walked on +in silence.</p> + +<p>"I think," said his companion at last, "that, if you like, you can get +back at cribbage what you lost at chess. That is, of course, if you +really want to."</p> + +<p>"He wouldn't play," said the Major, shaking his head.</p> + +<p>"No, but I will," said Mrs. Riddel, with a smile. "I think I've got a +plan."</p> + +<p>She blushed charmingly, and then, in modest alarm at her boldness, +dropped her voice almost to a whisper. The Major gazed at her in +speechless admiration and threw back his head in ecstasy. "Come round +to-morrow afternoon," said Mrs. Riddel, pausing at the end of the lane. +"Mr. Halibut shall be there, too, and it shall be done under his very +eyes."</p> + +<p>Until that time came the Major sat at home carefully rehearsing his part, +and it was with an air of complacent virtue that he met the somewhat +astonished gaze of the persistent Halibut next day. It was a bright +afternoon, but they sat indoors, and Mrs. Riddel, after an animated +description of a game at cribbage with Miss Philpotts the night before, +got the cards out and challenged Halibut to a game.</p> + +<p>They played two, both of which the diplomatic Halibut lost; then Mrs. +Riddel, dismissing him as incompetent, sat drumming on the table with her +fingers, and at length challenged the Major. She lost the first game +easily, and began the second badly. Finally, after hastily glancing at a +new hand, she flung the cards petulantly on the table, face downward.</p> + +<p>"Would you like my hand, Major Brill?" she demanded, with a blush.</p> + +<p>"Better than anything in the world," cried the Major, eagerly.</p> + +<p>Halibut started, and Miss Philpotts nearly had an accident with her +crochet hook. The only person who kept cool was Mrs. Riddel, and it was +quite clear to the beholders that she had realized neither the ambiguity +of her question nor the meaning of her opponent's reply.</p> + +<p>"Well, you may have it," she said, brightly.</p> + +<p>Before Miss Philpotts could lay down her work, before Mr. Halibut could +interpose, the Major took possession of Mrs. Riddel's small white hand +and raised it gallantly to his lips. Mrs. Riddel, with a faint scream +which was a perfect revelation to the companion, snatched her hand away. +"I meant my hand of cards," she said, breathlessly.</p> + +<p>"Really, Brill, really," said Halibut, stepping forward fussily.</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said the Major, blankly; "cards!"</p> + +<p>"That's what I meant, of course," said Mrs. Riddel, recovering herself +with a laugh. "I had no idea still—if you prefer—-" The Major took +her hand again, and Miss Philpotts set Mr. Halibut an example—which he +did not follow—by gazing meditatively out of the window. Finally she +gathered up her work and quitted the room. Mrs. Riddel smiled over at +Mr. Halibut and nodded toward the Major.</p> + +<a name="006"></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="006.jpg (91K)" src="006.jpg" height="723" width="507"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>"Don't you think Major Brill is somewhat hasty in his conclusions?" she +inquired, softly.</p> + +<p>"I'll tell Major Brill what I think of him when I get him alone," said +the injured gentleman, sourly.</p> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Mixed Proposal, by W.W. 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Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Mixed Proposal + The Lady of the Barge and Others, Part 9. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 22, 2004 [EBook #12129] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MIXED PROPOSAL *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +THE LADY OF THE BARGE + +AND OTHER STORIES + +By W. W. Jacobs + + + + +A MIXED PROPOSAL + + +Major Brill, late of the Fenshire Volununteers, stood in front of the +small piece of glass in the hatstand, and with a firm and experienced +hand gave his new silk hat a slight tilt over the right eye. Then he +took his cane and a new pair of gloves, and with a military but squeaky +tread, passed out into the road. It was a glorious day in early autumn, +and the soft English landscape was looking its best, but despite the fact +that there was nothing more alarming in sight than a few cows on the +hillside a mile away, the Major paused at his gate, and his face took on +an appearance of the greatest courage and resolution before proceeding. +The road was dusty and quiet, except for the children playing at cottage +doors, and so hot that the Major, heedless of the fact that he could not +replace the hat at exactly the same angle, stood in the shade of a tree +while he removed it and mopped his heated brow. + +He proceeded on his way more leisurely, overtaking, despite his lack of +speed, another man who was walking still more slowly in the shade of the +hedge. + +"Fine day, Halibut," he said, briskly; "fine day." + +"Beautiful," said the other, making no attempt to keep pace with him. + +"Country wants rain, though," cried the Major over his shoulder. + +Halibut assented, and walking slowly on, wondered vaguely what gaudy +color it was that had attracted his eye. It dawned on him at length that +it must be the Major's tie, and he suddenly quickened his pace, by no +means reassured as the man of war also quickened his. + +"Halloa, Brill!" he cried. "Half a moment." + +The Major stopped and waited for his friend; Halibut eyed the tie +uneasily--it was fearfully and wonderfully made--but said nothing. + +"Well?" said the Major, somewhat sharply. + +"Oh--I was going to ask you, Brill--Confound it! I've forgotten what I +was going to say now. I daresay I shall soon think of it. You're not in +a hurry?" + +"Well, I am, rather," said Brill. "Fact is-- Is my hat on straight, +Halibut?" + +The other assuring him that it was, the Major paused in his career, and +gripping the brim with both hands, deliberately tilted it over the right +eye again. + +"You were saying--" said Halibut, regarding this manoeuvre with secret +disapproval. + +"Yes," murmured the Major, "I was saying. Well, I don't mind telling an +old friend like you, Halibut, though it is a profound secret. Makes me +rather particular about my dress just now. Women notice these things. +I'm--sha'nt get much sympathy from a confirmed old bachelor like you--but +I'm on my way to put a very momentous question." + +"The devil you are!" said the other, blankly. + +"Sir!" said the astonished Major. + +"Not Mrs. Riddel?" said Halibut. + +"Certainly, sir," said the Major, stiffly. "Why not?" + +"Only that I am going on the same errand," said the confirmed bachelor, +with desperate calmness. + +The Major looked at him, and for the first time noticed an unusual +neatness and dressiness in his friend's attire. His collar was higher +than usual; his tie, of the whitest and finest silk, bore a pin he never +remembered to have seen before; and for the first time since he had known +him, the Major, with a strange sinking at the heart, saw that he wore +spats. + +"This is extraordinary," he said, briefly. "Well, good-day, Halibut. +Can't stop." + +"Good-day," said the other. + +The Major quickened his pace and shot ahead, and keeping in the shade of +the hedge, ground his teeth as the civilian on the other side of the road +slowly, but surely, gained on him. + +It became exciting. The Major was handicapped by his upright bearing and +short military stride; the other, a simple child of the city, bent +forward, swinging his arms and taking immense strides. At a by-lane they +picked up three small boys, who, trotting in their rear, made it evident +by their remarks that they considered themselves the privileged +spectators of a foot-race. The Major could stand it no longer, and with +a cut of his cane at the foremost boy, softly called a halt. + +"Well," said Halibut, stopping. + +The man's manner was suspicious, not to say offensive, and the other had +much ado to speak him fair. + +"This is ridiculous," he said, trying to smile. "We can't walk in and +propose in a duet. One of us must go to-day and the other to-morrow." + +"Certainly," said Halibut; "that'll be the best plan." + +"So childish," said the Major, with a careless laugh, "two fellows +walking in hot and tired and proposing to her." + +"Absurd," replied Halibut, and both men eyed each other carefully. + +"So, if I'm unsuccessful, old chap," said the Major, in a voice which he +strove to render natural and easy, "I will come straight back to your +place and let you know, so as not to keep you in suspense." + +"You're very good," said Halibut, with some emotion; "but I think I'll +take to-day, because I have every reason to believe that I have got one +of my bilious attacks coming on to-morrow." + +"Pooh! fancy, my dear fellow," said the Major, heartily; "I never saw you +look better in my life." + +"That's one of the chief signs," replied Halibut, shaking his head. "I'm +afraid I must go to-day." + +"I really cannot waive my right on account of your bilious attack," said +the Major haughtily. + +"Your right?" said Halibut, with spirit. + +"My right!" repeated the other. "I should have been there before you if +you had not stopped me in the first place." + +"But I started first," said Halibut. + +"Prove it," exclaimed the Major, warmly. + +The other shrugged his shoulders. + +"I shall certainly not give way," he said, calmly. "This is a matter in +which my whole future is concerned. It seems very odd, not to say +inconvenient, that you should have chosen the same day as myself, Brill, +for such an errand--very odd." + +"It's quite an accident," asseverated the Major; "as a matter of fact, +Halibut, I nearly went yesterday. That alone gives me, I think, some +claim to precedence." + +"Just so," said Halibut, slowly; "it constitutes an excellent claim." + +The Major regarded him with moistening eyes. This was generous and +noble. His opinion of Halibut rose. "And now you have been so frank +with me," said the latter, "it is only fair that you should know I +started out with the same intention three days ago and found her out. +So far as claims go, I think mine leads." + +"Pure matter of opinion," said the disgusted Major; "it really seems as +though we want an arbitrator. Well, we'll have to make our call +together, I suppose, but I'll take care not to give you any opportunity, +Halibut, so don't cherish any delusions on that point. Even you wouldn't +have the hardihood to propose before a third party, I should think; but +if you do, I give you fair warning that I shall begin, too." + +"This is most unseemly," said Halibut. "We'd better both go home and +leave it for another day." + +"When do you propose going, then?" asked the Major. + +"Really, I haven't made up my mind," replied the other. + +The Major shrugged his shoulders. + +"It won't do, Halibut," he said, grimly; "it won't do. I'm too old a +soldier to be caught that way." + +There was a long pause. The Major mopped his brow again. "I've got it," +he said at last. + +Halibut looked at him curiously. + +"We must play for first proposal," said the Major, firmly. "We're pretty +evenly matched." + +"Chess?" gasped the other, a whole world of protest in his tones. + +"Chess," repeated the Major. + +"It is hardly respectful," demurred Halibut. "What do you think the lady +would do if she heard of it?" + +"Laugh," replied the Major, with conviction. + +"I believe she would," said the other, brightening. "I believe she +would." + +"You agree, then?" + +"With conditions." + +"Conditions?" repeated the Major. + +"One game," said Halibut, speaking very slowly and distinctly; "and if +the winner is refused, the loser not to propose until he gives him +permission." + +"What the deuce for?" inquired the other, suspiciously. + +"Suppose I win," replied Halibut, with suspicious glibness, "and was so +upset that I had one of my bilious attacks come on, where should I be? +Why, I might have to break off in the middle and go home. A fellow can't +propose when everything in the room is going round and round." + +"I don't think you ought to contemplate marriage, Halibut," remarked the +Major, very seriously and gently. + +"Thanks," said Halibut, dryly. + +"Very well," said the Major, "I agree to the conditions. Better come to +my place and we'll decide it now. If we look sharp, the winner may be +able to know his fate to-day, after all." + +Halibut assenting, they walked back together. The feverish joy of the +gambler showed in the Major's eye as they drew their chairs up to the +little antique chess table and began to place their pieces ready for the +fray. Then a thought struck him, and he crossed over to the sideboard. + +"If you're feeling a bit off colour, Halibut," he said, kindly, "you'd +better have a little brandy to pull yourself together. I don't wish to +take a mean advantage." + +"You're very good," said the other, as he eyed the noble measure of +liquid poured out by his generous adversary. + +"And now to business," said the Major, as he drew himself a little soda +from a siphon. + +"Now to business," repeated Halibut, rising and placing his glass on the +mantel-piece. + +The Major struggled fiercely with his feelings, but, despite himself, a +guilty blush lent colour to the other's unfounded suspicions. + +"Remember the conditions," said Halibut, impressively. + +"Here's my hand on it," said the other, reaching over. + +Halibut took it, and, his thoughts being at the moment far away, gave it +a tender, respectful squeeze. The Major stared and coughed. It was +suggestive of practice. + +If the history of the duel is ever written, it will be found not unworthy +of being reckoned with the most famous combats of ancient times. Piece +after piece was removed from the board, and the Major drank glass after +glass of soda to cool his heated brain. At the second glass Halibut took +an empty tumbler and helped himself. Suddenly there was a singing in the +Major's ears, and a voice, a hateful, triumphant voice, said, + +"Checkmate!" + +Then did his gaze wander from knight to bishop and bishop to castle in a +vain search for succour. There was his king defied by a bishop--a bishop +which had been hobnobbing with pawns in one corner of the board, and +which he could have sworn he had captured and removed full twenty minutes +before. He mentioned this impression to Halibut. + +"That was the other one," said his foe. "I thought you had forgotten +this. I have been watching and hoping so for the last half-hour." + +There was no disguising the coarse satisfaction of the man. He had +watched and hoped. Not beaten him, so the Major told himself, in fair +play, but by taking a mean and pitiful advantage of a pure oversight. A +sheer oversight. He admitted it. + +Halibut rose with a sigh of relief, and the Major, mechanically sweeping +up the pieces, dropped them one by one into the box. + +"Plenty of time," said the victor, glancing at the clock. "I shall go +now, but I should like a wash first." + +The Major rose, and in his capacity of host led the way upstairs to his +room, and poured fresh water for his foe. Halibut washed himself +delicately, carefully trimming his hair and beard, and anxiously +consulting the Major as to the set of his coat in the back, after +he had donned it again. + +His toilet completed, he gave a satisfied glance in the glass, and then +followed the man of war sedately down stairs. At the hall he paused, and +busied himself with the clothes-brush and hat-pad, modestly informing his +glaring friend that he could not afford to throw any chances away, and +then took his departure. + +The Major sat up late that night waiting for news, but none came, and by +breakfast-time next morning his thirst for information became almost +uncontrollable. He toyed with a chop and allowed his coffee to get cold. +Then he clapped on his hat and set off to Halibut's to know the worst. + +"Well?" he inquired, as he followed the other into his dining-room. + +"I went," said Halibut, waving him to a chair. + +"Am I to congratulate you?" + +"Well, I don't know," was the reply; "perhaps not just yet." + +"What do you mean by that?" said the Major, irascibly. + +"Well, as a matter of fact," said Halibut, "she refused me, but so nicely +and so gently that I scarcely minded it. In fact, at first I hardly +realized that she had refused me." + +The Major rose, and regarding his poor friend kindly, shook and patted +him lightly on the shoulder. + +"She's a splendid woman," said Halibut. "Ornament to her sex," remarked +the Major. + +"So considerate," murmured the bereaved one. + +"Good women always are," said the Major, decisively. "I don't think I'd +better worry her to-day, Halibut, do you?" + +"No, I don't," said Halibut, stiffly. + +"I'll try my luck to-morrow," said the Major. + +"I beg your pardon," said Halibut. + +"Eh?" said the Major, trying to look puzzled. + +"You are forgetting the conditions of the game," replied Halibut. "You +have to obtain my permission first." + +"Why, my dear fellow," said the Major, with a boisterous laugh. +"I wouldn't insult you by questioning your generosity in such a case. +No, no, Halibut, old fellow, I know you too well." + +He spoke with feeling, but there was an anxious note in his voice. + +"We must abide by the conditions," said Halibut, slowly; "and I must +inform you, Brill, that I intend to renew the attack myself." + +"Then, sir," said the Major, fuming, "you compel me to say--putting all +modesty aside--that I believe the reason Mrs. Riddel would have nothing +to do with you was because she thought somebody else might make a similar +offer." + +"That's what I thought," said Halibut, simply; "but you see now that you +have so unaccountably--so far as Mrs. Riddel is concerned--dropped out of +the running, perhaps, if I am gently persistent, she'll take me." + +The Major rose and glared at him. + +"If you don't take care, old chap," said Halibut, tenderly, "you'll burst +something." + +"Gently persistent," repeated the Major, staring at him; "gently +persistent." + +"Remember Bruce and his spider," smiled the other. + +"You are not going to propose to that poor woman nine times?" roared his +incensed friend. + +"I hope that it will not be necessary," was the reply; "but if it is, I +can assure you, my dear Brill, that I'm not going to be outclassed by a +mere spider." + +"But think of her feelings!" gasped the Major. + +"I have," was the reply; "and I'm sure she'll thank me for it afterward. +You see, Brill, you and I are the only eligibles in the place, and now +you are out of it, she's sure to take me sooner or later." + +"And pray how long am I to wait?" demanded the Major, controlling +himself with difficulty. + +"I can't say," said Halibut; "but I don't think it's any good your +waiting at all, because if I see any signs that Mrs. Riddel is waiting +for you I may just give her a hint of the hopelessness of it." + +"You're a perfect Mephistopheles, sir!" bawled the indignant Major. +Halibut bowed. + +"Strategy, my dear Brill," he said, smiling; "strategy. Now why waste +your time? Why not make some other woman happy? Why not try her +companion, Miss Philpotts? I'm sure any little assistance--" + +The Major's attitude was so alarming that the sentence was never +finished, and a second later the speaker found himself alone, watching +his irate friend hurrying frantically down the path, knocking the blooms +off the geraniums with his cane as he went. He saw no more of him for +several weeks, the Major preferring to cherish his resentment in the +privacy of his house. The Major also refrained from seeing the widow, +having a wholesome dread as to what effect the contemplation of her +charms might have upon his plighted word. + +He met her at last by chance. Mrs. Riddel bowed coldly and would have +passed on, but the Major had already stopped, and was making wild and +unmerited statements about the weather. + +"It is seasonable," she said, simply. + +The Major agreed with her, and with a strong-effort regained his +composure. + +"I was just going to turn back," he said, untruthfully; "may I walk with +you?" + +"I am not going far," was the reply. + +With soldierly courage the Major took this as permission; with feminine +precision Mrs. Riddel walked about fifty yards and then stopped. "I told +you I wasn't going far," she said sweetly, as she held out her hand. +"Goodby." + +"I wanted to ask you something," said the Major, turning with her. "I +can't think what it was. + +They walked on very slowly, the Major's heart beating rapidly as he told +himself that the lady's coldness was due to his neglect of the past few +weeks, and his wrath against Halibut rose to still greater heights as he +saw the cruel position in which that schemer had placed him. Then he +made a sudden resolution. There was no condition as to secrecy, and, +first turning the conversation on to indoor amusements, he told the +astonished Mrs. Riddel the full particulars of the fatal game. Mrs. +Riddel said that she would never forgive them; it was the most +preposterous thing she had ever heard of. And she demanded hotly whether +she was to spend the rest of her life in refusing Mr. Halibut. + +"Do you play high as a rule?" she inquired, scornfully. + +"Sixpence a game," replied the Major, simply. + +The corners of Mrs. Riddel's mouth relaxed, and her fine eyes began to +water; then she turned her head away and laughed. "It was very foolish +of us, I admit," said the Major, ruefully, "and very wrong. I shouldn't +have told you, only I couldn't explain my apparent neglect without." + +"Apparent neglect?" repeated the widow, somewhat haughtily. + +"Well, put it down to a guilty conscience," said the Major; "it seems +years to me since I have seen you." + +"Remember the conditions, Major Brill," said Mrs. Riddel, with severity. + +"I shall not transgress them," replied the Major, seriously. + +Mrs. Riddel gave her head a toss, and regarded him from the corner of her +eyes. + +"I am very angry with you, indeed," she said, severely. The Major +apologized again. "For losing," added the lady, looking straight before +her. + +Major Brill caught his breath and his knees trembled beneath him. He +made a half-hearted attempt to seize her hand, and then remembering his +position, sighed deeply and looked straight before him. They walked on +in silence. + +"I think," said his companion at last, "that, if you like, you can get +back at cribbage what you lost at chess. That is, of course, if you +really want to." + +"He wouldn't play," said the Major, shaking his head. + +"No, but I will," said Mrs. Riddel, with a smile. "I think I've got a +plan." + +She blushed charmingly, and then, in modest alarm at her boldness, +dropped her voice almost to a whisper. The Major gazed at her in +speechless admiration and threw back his head in ecstasy. "Come round +to-morrow afternoon," said Mrs. Riddel, pausing at the end of the lane. +"Mr. Halibut shall be there, too, and it shall be done under his very +eyes." + +Until that time came the Major sat at home carefully rehearsing his part, +and it was with an air of complacent virtue that he met the somewhat +astonished gaze of the persistent Halibut next day. It was a bright +afternoon, but they sat indoors, and Mrs. Riddel, after an animated +description of a game at cribbage with Miss Philpotts the night before, +got the cards out and challenged Halibut to a game. + +They played two, both of which the diplomatic Halibut lost; then Mrs. +Riddel, dismissing him as incompetent, sat drumming on the table with her +fingers, and at length challenged the Major. She lost the first game +easily, and began the second badly. Finally, after hastily glancing at a +new hand, she flung the cards petulantly on the table, face downward. + +"Would you like my hand, Major Brill?" she demanded, with a blush. + +"Better than anything in the world," cried the Major, eagerly. + +Halibut started, and Miss Philpotts nearly had an accident with her +crochet hook. The only person who kept cool was Mrs. Riddel, and it was +quite clear to the beholders that she had realized neither the ambiguity +of her question nor the meaning of her opponent's reply. + +"Well, you may have it," she said, brightly. + +Before Miss Philpotts could lay down her work, before Mr. Halibut could +interpose, the Major took possession of Mrs. Riddel's small white hand +and raised it gallantly to his lips. Mrs. Riddel, with a faint scream +which was a perfect revelation to the companion, snatched her hand away. +"I meant my hand of cards," she said, breathlessly. + +"Really, Brill, really," said Halibut, stepping forward fussily. + +"Oh!" said the Major, blankly; "cards!" + +"That's what I meant, of course," said Mrs. Riddel, recovering herself +with a laugh. "I had no idea still--if you prefer----" The Major took +her hand again, and Miss Philpotts set Mr. Halibut an example--which he +did not follow--by gazing meditatively out of the window. Finally she +gathered up her work and quitted the room. Mrs. Riddel smiled over at +Mr. Halibut and nodded toward the Major. + +[Illustrations: "DON'T YOU THINK MAJOR BRILL IS SOMEWHAT HASTY IN HIS +CONCLUSIONS?" SHE INQUIRED SOFTLY.] + +"Don't you think Major Brill is somewhat hasty in his conclusions?" she +inquired, softly. + +"I'll tell Major Brill what I think of him when I get him alone," said +the injured gentleman, sourly. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Mixed Proposal, by W.W. 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