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diff --git a/old/11546.txt b/old/11546.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c41a6c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/11546.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9542 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Autobiography of a Journalist, Volume I +by Stillman, William James + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Autobiography of a Journalist, Volume I + +Author: Stillman, William James + +Release Date: March 11, 2004 [EBook #11546] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A JOURNALIST *** + + + + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + +[Illustration: W.J. Stillman] + + + + +THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A JOURNALIST + + +WILLIAM JAMES STILLMAN + + +IN TWO VOLUMES + + +VOLUME I + + +1901 + + + + +PREFACE + + +That a man should assume that his life is worth the venture of +a record in the form of an autobiography suggests a degree of +self-conceit of which I am not guilty. From my own initiative this +would never have been written, and the first suggestion that I should +write it, coming from a man of such experience in books and judgment +of men as the late Mr. Houghton, then head of the firm of Houghton, +Mifflin & Co., was as much a surprise to me as the publication will +be to any one. The impression it made on me was so vivid that I have +never forgotten the details of the occasion which called it out. I had +gone with Mr. Houghton and his daughters to the ruins of the Villa of +Hadrian, at Tivoli, and, wandering idly amongst them on a beautiful +autumn morning, not in the spirit of crude sightseeing, I was led to +talk of my experiences more than is my wont to do. "You should write +your life," he said to me with a manner of authority which at once +convinced me, and I decided that if there should come in my life a +pause in which the past could be considered rather than the needs of +the present and the cares of the future, I would set about it. Had +I at some earlier date entertained such a project, I should have +preserved many documents and data now lost, and have been able to +write more precisely of some things of greater interest than my +personal adventures. But in that part of my life which may be +considered relatively of a public character, or in which events of a +public interest occurred, I have ample record made at the time. In +what is peculiar to myself, and so of relatively trivial moment, dates +and the order of events are of little importance. It occurred to me in +the connection, that to give a human document of Puritan family life, +and the development of a mind from the archaic severity of New England +Puritanism to a complete freedom of thought, by a purely evolutionary +process, without revolt or revulsion, might be worth doing. For what +it is worth I have done it without much consideration of my own +dignity, and, candidly, not as to my blunders and peccadilloes, which +are of no importance to the story, but as to the earlier mental +conditions which were a part of the process. So much for the +personality. + +Orthodox journalists may object to my assumption of their title. In my +multifarious occupation and random life I have, as I see when I look +back found my highest activity, and rendered my most serious services +to others, in my occupation as a journalist--all the rest was fringe +or failure. If I have been good for anything it was in connection +with, or through my position on, the press. And it would be ungrateful +and dishonest if I should omit to bear my testimony to the noble +character and large sincerity of the great journal to which the most +of my strength for more than twenty years has been given. If ever +I had a noble impulse, aroused by wrongs that came to my knowledge +during those years, a good cause to defend, or a public abuse to +attack, "The Times" has never refused to give me room to tell my +story, nor have I ever been expected to conform my views to those of +the office, or shape my correspondence to any ulterior purpose; nor +have I ever done so. And I consider it the greatest honor that has +ever come to me to have been so many years in its service, and to have +maintained the confidence of its direction. + +To my critics much that I have told may seem trivial. I cannot judge +of what may interest others. I should hardly have believed that my +life as a whole could interest a public that does not know me, and I +am equally unable to judge of the value which its details may have to +others. In default of any criterion beyond my own judgment, I have +selected the items which had to me most importance, or had a marked +influence on my life or an interest beyond myself. I have told things +that will seem trite to Americans, and others that will be commonplace +to Englishmen, but I have two publics to think of, differing in slight +matters in their knowledge of things. + +In affixing to the book the portraits of myself, I have yielded my own +opinion, which was opposed to it, to that of the publishers and my +friends, who urged it. To me it seemed a vanity for one almost unknown +to assume that a public would care what manner of man he might be, and +that such an assumption should follow an expressed general desire; but +the views of the publishers are imperative, and those of my friends +weightier than my own. + +The drawing by Rowse was done about 1856, so that the interval between +its doing and that by my daughter in 1900 included all the active +period of my life, unless I except the Hungarian expedition. When the +Rowse drawing was executed, Lowell said of it, "You have nothing to do +for the rest of your life but to try to look like it." Since that time +every friend I then had, except Rowse and Norton, is gone where I must +soon follow. + +DEEPDENE, FRIMLEY GREEN, Surrey, England. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +CHAP. + +I. A NEW ENGLAND MOTHER AND HER FAMILY. + +II. NATURE WORSHIP--EARLY RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES. + +III. AN AMERICAN EDUCATION. + +IV. COLLEGE LIFE. + +V. ART STUDY IN AMERICA. + +VI. ART STUDY IN ENGLAND. + +VII. ON A MISSION FOR KOSSUTH. + +VIII. AN ART STUDENT IN PARIS. + +IX. SPIRITISM. + +X. LIFE IN THE WILDERNESS. + +XI. JOURNALISM. + +XII. CAMBRIDGE. + +XIII. THE ADIRONDACK CLUB--EMERSON AND AGASSIZ. + +XIV. LOWELL. + +XV. THE ADIRONDACKS AND FLORIDA. + +XVI. ENGLAND AGAIN. + +XVII. SWITZERLAND. + +XVIII. PARIS AGAIN--THE CIVIL WAR IN AMERICA. + +XIX. MY ROMAN CONSULATE. + + + + +THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A JOURNALIST + + + + +CHAPTER I + +A NEW ENGLAND MOTHER AND HER FAMILY + + +A theory is advanced by some students of character that in what +concerns the formation of the individual nature, the shaping and +determination of it in the plastic stage, and especially in respect to +the moral elements on which the stability and purpose of a man's life +depend, a man is indebted to his mother, for good or for ill. +The question is too abstruse for argument, but, so far as my own +observation goes, it tends to a confirmation of the theory. I have +often noticed in children of friends that in childhood the likeness +to the mother was so vivid that one found no trace of the father, but +that in maturity this likeness disappeared to give place to that of +the father. In my own case, taking it for what it is worth, I can only +wish that the mother's part had been more enduring, not that I regret +the effect of my father's influence, but because I think my mother had +some qualities from which my best are derived, and which I should like +to see completely carried out in the life of a man, while I recognize +in a certain vagarious tendency in my father the probable hereditary +basis of the inconstancy of purpose and pursuit, which may not +have deprived my life of interest to others, but which has made +it comparatively barren of practical result. As a study of a +characteristic phase of New England life which has now entirely +disappeared, I believe that a picture of her and her family will be of +interest to some readers. + +In my oldest brother, Thomas B. Stillman, known in the last generation +as the chief of the steam engineering of his day in the United States, +the mentor of that profession, I can see more of my mother than in any +other of the six brothers. He inherited, like all of us, his father's +mechanical tendency and inventiveness, and added to it a persistency +and constancy of purpose peculiarly hers, which none of the other +children inherited to the same extent; and he had in its fullness the +devotional sentiment, the absorption in religious duties, as the chief +motive in life, which was her ruling passion,--for passion it was in +her,--the hanging on the Cross of everything she most valued in life. + +My mother, Eliza Ward Maxson, was born in Newport, Rhode Island, +on September 11, 1783, my father being seven years her senior. +The childhood of both was, therefore, surrounded by the facts and +associations of the war of American independence. He, in fact, as I +have heard him say, was born under the rule of the King of England, +and his father considered the Revolution so little justified that to +the day of his death he refused to recognize the government of the +United States; but, living a quiet life on his farm, he was never +disturbed by the pressure which exiled the noted and active Tories. + +My mother's earliest recorded ancestor was a John Maxson, one of the +band of Roger Williams, driven by the Puritans out of Massachusetts +into the wilder parts of "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations," +where--in the absence of all established law, as well as +government--they might worship God in the way their consciences +dictated, free from the restrictions on the liberty of conscience +imposed by the Pilgrim Fathers. There, at last, complete freedom of +dissent was found, and one of the consequences was that the colony +became a sort of field for Christian dialectics, where the most +extreme doctrines on all points of Christian belief were discussed +without other or more serious results of the _odium theologicum_ than +the building of many meeting-houses and the multiplication of sects. +Among these sects was one which played an important part in the local +theology of that day and for many years afterward, that known as the +"Seventh-Day Baptist," to which, it seems, John Maxson belonged. It +was not a new invention of the colonists, but had existed in England +since the days of early dissent, and it is possible that John Maxson +had brought the doctrine with him from England. Adhering to the +practice of baptism by immersion, the sect also maintained the +immutable obligation of the Seventh-Day Sabbath of the Ten +Commandments, the Jewish day of rest. + +The grave disabilities imposed on them in Massachusetts by the +obligatory abstention from labor on two days, on one day by conscience +and the other by the rigorous laws of the Puritans, made Roger +Williams's little state the paradise of the Sabbatarians, and the sect +flourished greatly in it, while the social isolation consequent on +the practice of contracting marriages only in their church +membership--made imperative if family dissensions were to be avoided +on a question of primary importance to that community, which had +sacrificed all worldly advantages to what it believed to be obedience +to the Word of God--at once knit together their church in closer +relations, and drew to it others from the outside, attracted by the +magnetism of a more ascetic faith. + +Amongst the emigrants from England on the Restoration were a family by +the name of Stillman, who, having had relations with the regicides, +went into what was then the most obscure and remote part of New +England and settled at Wethersfield, in Connecticut. One of the +brothers,--George,--hearing of this strange doctrine denying the +sanctity of the "Lord's Day," came to Newport to convert the erring +brothers; but, convinced by them, remained in the colony, where +he became a shining light. Thus it happened that both lines of my +ancestry became involved in the mystic bonds of a faith which was +shut off in a peculiar manner from all around them. The consequent +isolation, I fear, made much for self-righteousness. In their eyes it +was this observance which maintained continuity between the Christian +church and the institutions imposed in Paradise, and therefore made +them peculiarly the people of God. This amiable fanaticism, fervent +without being uncharitable, interfered in no wise with the widest +exercise of Christian sympathy with other sects, the observance of the +Seventh-Day Sabbath not being held as an essential to godliness or to +Christian fellowship, the non-observance being possibly only due to +ignorance, so that the relations of the historic First Seventh-Day +Baptist Church at Newport with the churches observing the "Lord's-Day +Sabbath" were always most kindly. The meeting-house occupied by +the Sabbatarians on the seventh day was occupied by one of the +Sunday-observing sects on the first, and the preachers of one often +officiated for the other. But the worldly advantage enjoyed by the +Sunday keeper was so considerable that all who did not hold to the +finest scruple of conscience in their conduct passed over to the +majority, and were excluded from the communion as a precaution against +the Sunday keepers becoming a majority in the church and taking it +away from the Sabbath keepers, as did actually occur with one of their +congregations in Vermont. In our community generally there was a most +scrupulous avoidance of any occupation on Sunday which might annoy +those who held it as Sabbath, and though in the State of New York the +laws were extremely liberal in this respect, my father in my boyhood +always made it a point not to allow in his workshop any work which +would be heard by the neighbors. + +The absolute freedom of religious belief and practice, for the first +time found in this colony, had, as its first effect, the banishment +of all forms of sectarian persecution, so that the maxim of the +Broad Church--"Freedom in non-essentials"--was here put in practical +activity to an extent probably never before known in the Christian +world. + +It can be readily understood that this continual selection of the most +scrupulous consciences, the closest thinkers, and the least worldly +characters in the church of my ancestors must have developed a +singularly fine and cutting-edge temper in its adherents, and the +succession of generations of men and women who had graduated in the +school of Scripture dialectics, and knew every text and its various +interpretations, made a community of Bible disputants such as even +Massachusetts could not show. + +Amongst the refugees for religious liberty who found their billet +at Newport were many Jews, between whom and the Sabbatarians the +community of the Sabbath was a strong tie, and amongst the formulas of +prayer in use even down to my own boyhood I remember a common petition +for the restoration of Israel; and the Sabbatarian eye of prophecy +looked forward to the day when, in the peace of the millennium, +the Jews in Jerusalem should be the witnesses of the faith of the +Seventh-Day Baptist Church in the keeping alive the observance of the +Eden repose initiated by the Creator. Amongst my own earliest personal +recollections concerning Newport is that of a visit of some Jewish +friends of my mother's girlhood, who lived there, to my father's house +in Schenectady. + +My mother's grandfather, on her mother's side, was a clergyman, Elder +Bliss, who, though a non-combatant, was a fiery patriot, two of whose +sons were in the Revolutionary army. His house was in a valley under +the fort held by the British force in occupation, between whose guns +and those of a battery held by the rebels there was occasional firing, +during which the balls sometimes went through the house, so that when +the first shot was heard he used to order all the family down into the +cellar, which afforded a valid protection. The girls of the household +were patriots, in whom zeal often overran discretion, and the pranks +they played on the British officers must sometimes have tasked the +gentlemen in the latter to a point on the limits of endurance. I +remember one incident recounted by my grandmother to my mother, and +by her to me, in which two of the girls stole past the sentry in the +British fort, or battery, for I could never learn exactly what was the +nature of these two outposts of authority and rebellion, and, running +the flag down, tore it into thirteen stripes and ran it up again and +escaped unseen. This insult brought the whole force about their ears, +and the commandant came, with his staff, to question the household if +any clue to it could be found. Fortunately, when the girls had come +back from their expedition and went giggling in their glee to their +mother, she suspected some dangerous venture and peremptorily ordered +them to hold their tongues and not come to her with any of their +mischief. She was thus able to reply to the officer charged with the +inquisition that she knew nothing of the matter, and such was the +rigid obligation of the truth in that Puritan community that even +the danger of a court-martial would not have induced her to tell +a falsehood, however the truth might compromise the family. The +officers, who well knew their sometime hosts, were so well assured +of this that the seniors were at once acquitted, and, regarding the +girls, they were too gentlemanly to push an inquiry which might have +punished a childish freak with the gravest military consequences, for, +as the officer on the quest said, "Even it's being a woman would not +protect the author of such a grave insult to the flag." Irrepressible +as they were, in spite of the danger they had so narrowly escaped, +they, not much later, stole the sword of one of the officers when they +were all temporarily quartered on the preacher, and, when the island +was evacuated by the British forces, brought it out and gave it to the +brother, an officer in the American army. + +A feat of practical housewifery, which my mother used to tell +of, shows another side of the Rhode-Islander, which is not less +illustrative of the stock. One of the boys of the pastor's family +volunteered, or was drawn, in the militia for active service; but, as +he had no clothes fit for the camp, the sisters had a black and white +sheep brought from the pasture and clipped, and within twenty-four +hours had spun, woven, and made up a suit of mixed gray clothes for +the brother to go to the war in. No doubt such things have been done +in many another home, even in later times, but this is the home I have +to deal with, and in this my mother grew up. She was the eldest of a +family of five, left motherless when she was sixteen. Her father was +the director of the smallpox hospital in Newport, then an institution +of grave importance to the community, as the practice of obligatory +inoculation prevailed, and all the young people of the colony had to +go up in classes to the hospital and pass the ordeal. Her mother's +death left her the matron of the hospital and caretaker of her sister +and brothers, and the stories of her life at that time, which she +told me now and then, showed that, with the position, she assumed the +effective authority, and ruled her brothers with a severity which my +own experience of her maturer years enables me to understand. "Spare +the rod and spoil the child" was the maxim which flamed in the air +before every father and mother of that New England, and my mother's +physical vigor at sixty, when her conception of authority began to +relax,--I being then a lad six feet high and indisposed to physical +persuasion,--satisfied me that when her duty had required her to +assume the responsibility bequeathed her by her mother, she was fully +competent to meet it. + +Accustomed to the hardest life, the most rigid economy in the +household, and without servants, for, except rare and lately +emancipated negro slaves, there was then no servile class in that +colony, the children had to perform all the duties pertaining to the +daily life, official or private, and my mother was able to pull an oar +or manage the sail-boat with her brothers, and catch the horses and +ride them bareback from pasture, when necessary for the daily work, +which was not insignificant, for Newport was really the seaport of +that section of the State, and as it was on an island of importance, +the intercourse with the mainland called for sea and land service. The +boys were all fishermen, for a large part of the subsistence of the +family came from the fishing-grounds outside the harbor, and, as the +oldest brother took early to the sailor's life, my mother had to +assume a larger share of all the harder services. The hospital was +also the quarantine station, and received all the cases of smallpox +which came to the port, and they must have been many and fatal, for I +have heard her say that she had to go the rounds of the hospital at +night, and that there would sometimes be five or six dead in the +dead-room at once. + +The first acquaintance of my parents with each other was made in the +inoculating class, my father being resident in Westerly, a town of +Rhode Island on the borders of Connecticut. The marriage must have +taken place about two years later, on the second marriage of my +grandfather Maxson to the daughter of Samuel Ward, one of the leading +delegates from Rhode Island to the convention which drew up and +promulgated the Declaration of Independence[1]. Their early days of +married life must have been passed in an extreme frugality, for my +father was one of a large number of children, and, brought up on a +farm, learned the trade of ship-carpenter, which he alternated, as was +generally the habit of the young men of the New England coast, with +fishing on the banks of Newfoundland in the cod-fishing season. +Having, in addition, a share of the Yankee inventiveness, he became +interested in the perfecting of a fulling-machine, to introduce which +into what was then the West, he made a temporary residence in New York +State, at the old Dutch town of Schenectady, at that time the +entrepot of commerce between the Eastern cities and New York, and the +Northwest. Utica was then a frontier settlement, Buffalo an outpost in +the wilderness, and, the country having barely recovered from the +war of 1812-15 between the United States and England, enterprise +and exploration had just begun to push through the thin lines of +settlements along the valleys of the Mohawk and upper Hudson, westward +by Buffalo and the great lakes to Ohio (then the Far West), and +northward to the valley of the St. Lawrence. Schenectady was the +distributing point of this wagon-borne commerce and movement until +the completion of the Erie Canal, which, down to my own period of +recollection, was the quickest channel of communication westward, with +its horse "packets," traveling at the creditable speed of four miles +an hour, the traffic barges making scarcely more than two. + +[Footnote 1: Mr. Ward died just before the signing of the Declaration, +so that his name does not figure in the list of signers.] + +Hardly established in what was intended for a temporary visit, the +residence of the family became fixed at Schenectady, owing to the +partner of my father, left to manage the business at Westerly, +becoming involved in personal embarrassments which brought on the +bankruptcy of the firm and the seizure of all my father's little +property, and, what was worse, the certainty of imprisonment for debt +in the case of his returning home. Owing to the judgments hanging +over him, which a succession of misfortunes prevented him from ever +satisfying, it was late in my own remembrance, I think about 1848 or +1850, before he was enabled to visit his early home. Hard times came +on the whole people of that section, and the practical destruction of +his business by the loss of all his capital drove him into seeking any +employment which would give a momentary relief. + +Of this period of their existence my mother rarely spoke, and it must +have been one of severe privations. She has told me that she often +went to bed hungry, that the children might have enough to eat. +She had no assistance in her household duties, except that of her +daughter, a girl of tender years, and, having her husband's five +journeymen as members of the household, with five children, of whom my +sister was the second, she not only did the daily household duties, +including washing and baking, but spun and wove the cloth for the +clothes of her husband and children, cut and made them up. Her +cheerful faith in an overruling Providence must have been, in those +days, a supreme consolation, for, even in recalling them in the days +of my boyhood, the light of it still illumined her, and she never +questioned that He who had led them into the wilderness would maintain +them in it. She seemed to have but one care in her life while I knew +her--to know and do her duty. She found a special providence in +every instance of relief from their pressing wants, and I recall the +religious serenity with which she told me of the greatest strait of +the hardest winter of that period, when resources seemed to have been +exhausted to the last crumb, and they unexpectedly received from one +of her half brothers, who had gone farther west, and lived in what was +practically the wilderness, a barrel of salted pigeons' breasts. +There had been one of those almost fabulous flights of the now nearly +extinct passenger pigeons, which used to come north to breed in such +numbers that the forests where they colonized were so filled with +their nests that the settlers went into them and beat the young down +with poles, and the branches became so overloaded with the broods in +their nests that their weight often broke them down and threw the +young on the ground. They had that year chosen the forests in my +uncle's neighborhood for their nesting ground, and had been killed by +thousands and salted down for winter provision, only the breast being +used, owing to the superabundance of the birds. The gift came like the +answer to a prayer, for there was hunger in the house and the snow was +heavy on the ground, all the community being more or less in the same +straits. + +Being the youngest of nine children, I can remember my mother only in +the days of comparative freedom from anxiety, when, the day's work +over and the house quiet, she used, as she sat by the fire with her +knitting, which occupied all the moments when her hands were not +required for other duties,--she knit all the stockings required for +the family,--to tell me incidents of her past life, mostly to show how +kind God had been to her and hers, and how faith in his providence +was justified in the event. Of herself she spoke only incidentally. +Dominating every act and thought of her existence was the profoundest +religious veneration I have ever met with, an openness of her mind +upward, as if she felt that the eternal eye was on her and reading her +thoughts. The sense of her responsibility was so serious that I think +that only the absorbing activity of her daily life, and the way in +which every moment was occupied with positive duties, prevented her +from falling into religious insanity. Her life was a constant prayer, +a wrestling with God for the salvation of her children. No image of +her remains in my mind so clear as that in which I see her sitting +by the fireside in the dim light of our single home-made candle, her +knitting-needles flying and her lips moving in prayer, while the tears +stole down her cheeks in the fervency of her devotion, until she felt +that she was being noticed, when the windows of her soul were suddenly +shut, and she turned to some subject of common interest, as if ashamed +to be discovered praying, for she permitted herself no ostentation of +devotion, but reserved it for her nights and solitary moments. Of her +own salvation she had only a faltering hope, harassed always by a fear +that she had at some time in her life committed the unpardonable sin, +as to the nature of which she knew nothing, and which was, therefore, +all the more feared, as the nature of it was to her the terrible +mystery of life and death. + +What I inherit from her, and doubtless the indelible impression of her +fervent faith overshadowing my young life, produced a moulding of my +character which has never changed. I lived in an atmosphere of prayer +and trust in God which impressed me so that to this day the habit of +thought and conduct so formed is invincible, and in all the subsequent +modifications of the primitive and Hebraic conception of the spiritual +life which she inoculated me with, an unconscious aspiration in prayer +and an absolute and organic trust in the protection of the divine +Providence persist in my character, though reason has long assured me +that this is but a crude and personal conception of the divine law. +Truly from the environment of our early religious education we can +never escape. This the Jesuits know and profit by. + +My mother was also haunted by the dread of God's wrath at her loving +her children more than she did Him, for, with all the fervency of her +gentle devotion, she never escaped the ghastly Hebrew conception of +God, always in wrath at every omission or transgression of the Law, +who, at the last great day, would demand of her an account of every +neglect of duty, every idle word and thought, and especially of the +manner in which she had taught her children to obey his commandments. +She seemed to scan her life continually to find some sin in the past, +for which she had not specifically repented, and, at times, as I knew +by the confidences of my later years, when she would appeal to me +for my opinion, the problem of the unpardonable sin became one of +absorbing study, which she finally laid aside in the supreme trust in +his goodness, who alone knew her intentions and desire to be obedient +to the Law. + +Every one of her sons, as they were born, she dedicated to the service +of the Lord, in the ardent hope that one of them would become a +minister, and over me, the last, she let her hopes linger longest, +for, as I was considered a delicate child, unable to support the life +of hard work to which my older brothers had taken, she hoped that I +might be spared for study. Only the eldest son ever responded to her +desire by the wish to enter the service of the church, and he was far +too important to my father's little workshop to be spared for the +necessary schooling. He struggled through night schools, and in the +intervals of day leisure, to qualify himself to enter the college in +our city. Before doing so he fell under the notice of old Dr. Nott, +president of the college, who was, beside being a teacher of wonderful +ability, a clever inventor, and, perceiving my brother's mechanical +capacity, persuaded him to abandon the plan of entering the ministry, +and made him foreman of his establishment, the "Novelty Iron Works," +at New York, for many years known as the leading establishment of its +kind in America. The next two brothers, having more or less the +same gifts, followed the eldest to New York; the next, an incurable +stammerer, was disqualified for the pulpit, and studied medicine, +being moreover of a fragile constitution; and the next, having the +least possible sympathy for the calling, also took to medicine. + +With the migration of the three older brothers to New York, the +diminution of the family, and the aid the brothers in New York were +able to give the younger children at home, my mother's life took on +a new activity, in her resolute determination that the younger boys +should have such an education as the college (Union) afforded them. +This determination was opposed by my father, whose idea of the +education needed by boys did not go beyond the elements, and who +wanted them in the workshop. But it had become to my mother a +conception of her duty, that, as the relations between my eldest +brother and the president of the college led to an offer of what was +practically a free education, the younger boys should be permitted to +profit by the offer, and when duty entered her head there was no force +capable of driving it out. Charles, the first of us to graduate, +became the college bell-ringer, to pay his fees, but Jacob and myself +were in turn excused, even from this service. My father's practical +opposition, the refusal to pay the incidental expenses for what he +always persisted in regarding as a useless education, was met, in +Charles's case, by my mother's taking in the students' washing, to +provide them. In the cases of Jacob and myself, this drudgery was +exchanged for that of a students' boarding-house. + +In all the housework involved in this complication of her duties, she +never had a servant until shortly before my birth, when she took into +the house a liberated African slave, the only other assistance in the +house, in my childhood, being a sister six years older than myself and +the daughter of one of our neighbors, who came as a "help" at the time +of my birth, and subsequently married my second brother. My mother was +also the family doctor, for, except in very grave cases, we never +had any other physician. She pulled our teeth and prescribed all our +medicines. I was well grown before I wore a suit which was not of her +cutting and making, though sometimes she was obliged to have in a +sewing-woman for the light work. She made all the bread we ate, cured +the hams, and made great batches of sausages and mincemeat for pies, +sufficient for the winter's consumption, as well as huge pig's-head +cheeses. How she accomplished all she did I never understood. + +But with all her passionate desire to see one of her boys in what she +considered the service of God, there was never, on my mother's +part, the least pressure in that direction, no suggestion that the +sacrifices she was making demanded any measure of deviation from our +views as to the future. It was her hope that one of us would feel as +she did, but she cheerfully resigned the hope, as son after son turned +the other way. A boy who was born three years before me, and whose +death occurred before my birth, was, perhaps, in her mind, the +fulfillment of her dedication, for he was, according to the accounts +of friends of the family, a child of extraordinary intelligence, and +she felt that God had taken him from her. In one of those moments +of confidence, in the years when I had become a counselor to her, I +remember her telling me of this boy (known in the family as "_little_ +William," to distinguish him from me), and the sufferings she endured +through her doubts, lest he should have lived long enough to sin, and +had not repented, for, though her dreary creed taught that the rigors +of eternal damnation rested on every one who had not repented of each +individual sin, and that adult baptism was the only assurance of +redemption, it did not teach, nor did she believe, that the innocence +of childhood required the certificate of the church. All the rest of +her children had professed religion and received baptism according +to the rites of the Baptist Church, but little William left in the +mother's heart the sting of uncertainty. Had he lived long enough +to transgress the Law and not repented? was to her an ever-present +question of terrible import. Years rolled by without weakening this +torture of apprehension that this little lamb of all her flock might +be expiating the sin of Adam in the flames of Eternity, a perpetual +babyhood of woe. The depth of the misery this haunting fear inflicted +on her can only be imagined by one who knew the passionate intensity +of her love for her children,--a love which she feared to be sinful, +but could not abate. Finally, one night, as she lay perplexing her +soul with this and other problems of sin and righteousness, she saw, +standing near her bed, her lost child, not as she supposed him to be, +a baby for eternity, but apparently a youth of sixteen, regarding her +silently, but with an expression of such radiant happiness in his face +that the shadow passed from her soul forever. She needed no longer to +be told that he was amongst the blessed. She told me this one day, +timidly, as something she had never dared tell the older children, +lest they should think her superstitious, or, perhaps, dissipate her +consolation by the assurance that she had dreamed. Dream she was +convinced it was not; but only to me, in her old age, had she ever +dared to confide this assurance, which had been so precious to her. + +In charity, comfort for the afflicted, help,--not in money, for of +that there was little to spare,--but in food; in watching with the +sick and consoling the bereaved in her own loving, sympathetic +mother's way, she abounded. There was always something for the really +needy, and I remember that one of her most painful experiences came +from having refused food to a begging woman, to whose deathbed she was +called the next day, a deathbed of literal starvation. She recognized +the woman, who had come to our house with a story of a family of +starving children, but as my mother's experienced eye assured her she +had never been a mother, she refused her as a deceiver what the poor +always got. "Why did you tell me you had children," mother asked her, +"when you came to me yesterday?" "It was not true," said the dying +woman, "but I was starving, and I thought you would be more willing to +help me if you thought I had children." But from that day no beggar +was turned from our door without food. Silently and in secret she did +what good works came to her to be done, letting not her right hand +know what her left hand was doing, but all the poor knew her and her +works. + +Silent too and undemonstrative in all her domestic relations she +always was, and I question if to any other of her family than myself +she ever confided her secret hopes or fears. And to me even she was so +undemonstrative that I never remember her kissing me from a passing +warmth; only when I went away on a journey or returned from one did +she offer to kiss me, and this was the manner of the family. And her +maintenance of family discipline was on the same rigorous level, +dispassionate as the law. If I transgressed the commands of herself or +of my father the punishment was inevitable, never in wrath, generally +on the day after the offense, but inexorable; she never meant to spoil +the child by sparing the rod, but flogged with tears in her eyes and +an aching heart, often giving the punishment herself, to prevent my +father from giving it, as he always flogged mercilessly and in anger, +though if I could keep out of his sight till the next day he forgot +all about it; she never forgot, and though the flogging might not come +for a week, it was never omitted when promised. And her worst severity +never raised a feeling of resentment in me, for I recognized it as +deserved, while my father's floggings, inflicted in the unreasoning +severity of anger, always made me rebellious. I remember only one +occasion on which I was punished unjustly by my mother. + +A neighboring farmer had asked me to go to his field and shake down +the fruit from two apple-trees. It was in the hour before dinner, and +the regulations of the family were very severe about being at meals, +and unfortunately I had, in my glee at having a job of paying work to +do, infringed on the dinnertime. In payment for my services I received +from the farmer two huge pumpkins, charged with which I hastened home, +looking forward to my mother's praise and pleasure, but was met by +her in the hall, strap in hand, with which she administered a solid +flogging, explaining that my father was so angry at my being out at +dinner that she gave me the punishment to forestall his, which would +be, as I well knew, much severer. It is more than sixty years since +that punishment fell on my shoulders, but the astonishment with which +I received the flogging instead of the thanks I anticipated for the +wages I was bringing her, the haste with which my mother administered +it lest my father should anticipate her and beat me after his fashion, +are as vivid in my recollection as if it had taken place last year. +This was a sample of the family discipline. I was forbidden to walk +with other boys when I drove the cow to pasture; forbidden to bathe +in the mill-pond near by except at stated times, to play with certain +children, to amuse myself on the Sabbath, and other similar doings, +all to my childish apprehension harmless in themselves, and the +punishment never failed to follow the discovery of the transgression. +Naturally I learned to lie, a thing contrary to my inclination and +nature, and a torture to my conscience, but I had not the courage +to meet the flogging, or the firmness to resist temptation and the +persuasion of my young companions who rejoiced in a domestic freedom +of which I knew nothing. My father's severity finally brought +emancipation by its excess. He used to follow me to see if I obeyed +his orders, and one day when I had been persuaded by some boys of our +neighborhood to go and bathe in the forbidden hours, he found me in +the pond, led me home, and, cutting two tough peartree switches about +the thickness, at the butt, of his forefinger, he took me down into +the cellar, and making me strip off my jacket, broke them up to the +stumps over my back, protected only by a cotton shirt. This was the +deciding event which determined me to run away from home, which I did +the next week, and though my escapade did not last beyond ten days, on +my return the rod was buried. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +NATURE WORSHIP--EARLY RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES + + +Looking back at my mother, after a lapse of nearly forty years since I +saw her last, I am surprised at the largeness of character developed +in the narrow and illiberal mould of the exclusive Puritanism of the +church of her inheritance, her freedom from bigotry, and the breadth +of her knowledge of human nature, as well as at the justice of her +instincts of religious essentials, which always kept her cheerful +and hopeful in spite of the gloomy doctrine imposed on her by her +education and surroundings. Believing firmly in the eternity of +hell-fire, with the logical and terrible day of judgment casting its +gloomy shadow over her life, she maintained an unbounded charity for +all humanity except herself, admitting the extenuation of ignorance +for all others, keeping for herself even to the tithes of mint and +cummin, but condoning, in her judgment of those who differed from her, +the offenses which for herself she would have thought mortal sins. In +her own household all latitude in religious observance was resisted +with all her strength. + +In my paternal grandfather's house the Seventh Day was a day of +feasting, and after the church services all the connection went to the +ancestral home to eat the most sumptuous dinner of the week. Against +this infraction of the law which forbade on the Sabbath all work not +of mercy or necessity, my mother set her face, and when this was done +there was no long resistance possible and my father had to give way, +so that on that day we had a cold dinner, cooked on Friday. At sunset +on Friday, all work and all secular reading or amusements ceased, +and only a Sabbath day's journey was permitted so far as she could +control. But my father was a rover from his youth, and Saturday being +his only leisure day he used to take me with him on long walks in the +woods and fields, according to the season; and the weather and the +length of the day were his only limitations. In the house she ruled, +but out of it he made his own conscience, and so it happened that the +only pleasures that I owe him, except the bringing me a few books when +he came back from his business trips to New York to sell his machines, +were those long walks in the face of nature. He was, in his family, +apparently a cold, hard man, but out of it, kindly and benevolent, +melting always to distress which came in his way; with a passionate +love of animals and of nature. He was a poor business man, for he +could never press for the payment of debts due to him, but his honesty +was so rigid that it became a proverb in our town that a man should be +"as honest as old Joe Stillman," and that good name was all he gave or +left his children. + +My father died in one of my occasional absences in Europe, and when I +saw my old mother in the black she never again laid off, she told me, +tranquilly and with a firm voice, but with the tears running down her +cheeks, how he died, and said, "He was so handsome that I wanted to +keep him another day." The warmth of expression struck me strangely, +for in all my home experience I had never heard before a word +which could be taken as a token of conjugal tenderness, but when I +reflected, I could see that it was and always had been the same with +the children. Of the nine children she bore, five died before she did, +including her second and, during my life, her only daughter, but in +all the bereavements she retained her calm, self-contained manner, +weeping silently, and tranquilly going about the house, comforting +those who shared the bereavement, uncomplaining, reconciled in +advance; she had consigned her beloved to the God who gave them to +her, and would have thought it rebellion to repine at any dispensation +which He sent her. In the most sudden and crushing grief I remember +her to have experienced, that which came with the news that my brother +Alfred had been killed by the explosion of a steamboat boiler at New +Orleans, there was one brief break-down of her fortitude, an hour's +yielding, and then all her thought was for the widow and the children. +No detail of the household duties was neglected, and nothing was +forgotten that concerned the comfort of others. She avoided all +external signs of grief, and, until my father died, she never wore +mourning. Her bereavements and her prayers were matters that concerned +only God and herself. + +What I have said might give her the character of an ascetic, but +nothing could be further from her. She was always optimistic as to +earthly troubles, always cheerful and fond of mild festivities. At +times no one was more merry than she, and I have seen her laughing at +a good joke or story till the tears ran down her cheeks. Cheerfulness +was to her a duty which was never violated except when she was laying +her case before God. + +Her ardent desire that her children should have a liberal education +came to a climax on me, the last, born at the end of the period of +child-bearing. She taught me my letters before I could articulate +them, when I was two I could read, and at three I was put on a high +stool to read the Bible for visitors, so that I cannot remember when I +could not read, and when not more than five or six I used to be at the +head of the spelling classes and spelling matches, in which all +the boys and girls were divided into equal companies, and the +school-teacher gave out the hardest words in the spelling-book to each +side in turn, all who failed to spell their word sitting down, until +the solitary survivor on one side or the other decided the victory, +and even before I was seven I was generally that survivor. I read +insatiably all the good story-books they would let me have, and I +cannot recall the time at which there was anything even in the Bible +new to me. With an incipient passion for nature and animal life, I +read with delight all the books of natural history I could get, and I +have heard in later years that in all the community of Sabbatarianism +I was known as a prodigy. Fortunately I was saved from a probable +idiocy in my later life by a severe attack of typhoid fever at seven, +out of which attack I came a model of stupidity, and so remained until +I was fourteen, my thinking powers being so completely suspended that +at the dame's school to which I was sent I was repeatedly flogged for +not comprehending the simplest things. I got through simple arithmetic +as far as "Long Division," and there had to turn back to the beginning +three times before I could be made to understand the principle of +division by more than one figure. + +In the humiliation of this period of my life, in which I came to +consider myself as little better than a fool, my only consolation was +the large liberty I enjoyed in the woods and fields with my father +on Saturdays, or with my brothers Charles and Jacob on their long +botanizing excursions, or in the moments of leisure when I was not +wanted to turn the grindstone or blow the bellows in the workshop. +Those long walks, in which I was indefatigable, and the days or nights +when I went fishing with my brother Jacob, who was ten years older +than myself, and who inherited the wandering and adventurous longings +of my father, are the only things I can remember of this period which +gave me any pleasure. I can see vividly the banks of the Mohawk, where +we used to fish for perch, bream, and pike-perch; recall where, with +my brother Charles, we found the rarer flowers of the valley, the +cypripediums, the most rare wild-ginger, only to be found in one +locality, the walking fern, equally rare, and the long walks in the +pine forests, whose murmuring branches in the west wind fascinated me +more than any other thing in nature. + +Perhaps I mingle in recollection the nature-worship of the two +septennates, for of the former was my first rapturous vision of the +open sea, which comes back to me with the memory of the pines. I had +gone with my father and mother to New York on a visit to my eldest +brother, who had just then finished the engines of the steamer +Diamond, which was the first that by her build was enabled to run +through from New York to Albany, past the "overslough" or bar formed +in the Hudson, which prevented the steamers of greater draught from +getting up to the wharf at Albany; and he had profited by her first +trip to visit home again and take us back with him. My brother pointed +out to me the Clermont, Fulton's trial steamer, then disused and +lying at Hoboken, but a cockboat to the Diamond, which was one of the +greatest successes of the day. Machinery fascinated me, being of the +mechanical breed, and I can recall the engines of the boat, which were +of a new type, working horizontally, and so permitting larger engines +in proportion to the draught of the steamer than had been before used. +We all went one day to Coney Island, on the southern shore of Long +Island, since a fashionable bathing place for New York, but then a +solitary stretch of seashore, with a temporary structure where bathers +might get refreshments, and a few bathing boxes. We drove out in my +brother's buggy, and as, at a turn in the road, I caught a glimpse of +the distant sea horizon, I rose in the buggy, shouting, "The sea! +the sea!" and, in an uncontrollable frenzy, caught the whip from my +brother's hand and slashed the horse in wild delirium, unconscious of +what I was doing. The emotion remains uneffaceable after more than +threescore years, one of the most vivid of my life. It was a rapture +and an interesting case of heredity, for I had not before been within +a hundred and fifty miles of the sea. + +And how ecstatic was the sensation of the plunge into the breakers, +holding fast to my mother's hand, and then the race up the beach +before the next comber, trembling lest it should catch me, as if it +were a living thing ready to devour me. They never come back, these +first emotions of childhood; and though I have loved the sea all my +life, I have never again felt the sight of it as then. + +Of this first period, I remember very well the grand occasion of the +opening of the Hudson and Mohawk Railroad, the first link in that line +which is now the New York Central, and see vividly the curious old +coaches,--three coach bodies together on one truck. This was in +1832, when I was four years old. The road was, I believe, the first +successful passenger railway in America, and was sixteen miles long, +with two inclined planes up which the trains were drawn, and down +which they were lowered by cables. There was an opposition line of +stagecoaches between Albany and Schenectady, running at the same price +and making the same time. + +Of the second period, that of nature worship, was my first trout, +another delirium. My mother had taken me to visit one of her brothers, +a farmer in the western section of New York, soon after made famous +by the anti-rent war, in which my uncle was one of the "Indian +Chiefs[1]," and there I went fishing in the brook that ran through his +farm. I caught a small trout and did not know what fish it might be, +till I saw the crimson spots on his side and remembered that the trout +in books bore them, and then I threw him on the grass and danced +a wild dance around him, a powwow as furious as a red Indian's +scalp-dance, while he, poor little fingerling, jumped in the unkindly +herb. Then I caught him up and raced to the house nearly half a mile, +to show him, and put him in the trough under the pump, where he +arrived still gasping but alive, and where he remained for all my +recollection of his fate thereafter. But I remember that the beauty of +the little creature gave me more pleasure than the capture. + +[Footnote 1: The bands which carried on what became an actual +insurrection against the civic authorities were led by men disguised +as red Indians and called chiefs.] + +About this time I began to try to draw, and especially birds and +beautiful forms, though years before I had begun to color the +wood-cuts in my books. And my mother, who had an utterly uncultivated +but most tender love of art, gave up finally the oft-renewed ambition +to see one of her boys in the pulpit, and made every opportunity for +me to learn drawing,--I never quite understood why, for my abilities +in that line were little more than nine boys out of ten show. + +It was a fortunate thing for my after-life that I lived so near the +forests that all my odd time was spent in them and in the surrounding +fields, and I knew every apple-tree of early fruiting for miles, and +every hickory-tree whose nuts were choice; and one of the joyous +experiences of the time was running down a young gray squirrel in the +woods, and catching him with my bare hands, and badly bitten they +were. I took him home and tamed him perfectly, and was very happy with +him, my first pet. He used to come and sleep in my pocket, and was +never kept in a cage. My father one morning left the window of our +room open, and "Bob" went out to explore, but, when he tried to find +his way back again, a dog of the neighborhood, as a neighbor told us, +chased him away, and to my intense grief he was shot by a hunter a +few days after in the adjoining forest. I cannot to this day see a +squirrel without emotion and affectionate remembrance of "Bob." The +love of animals, which I inherited from my father, was one of the +passions of my childhood, and I had an insatiate longing for pets. + +Naturally my religious education during these early years was of the +severest orthodox character, and my mother's sincere, fervent, and +practical piety brought home to me, with the conviction of certainty, +the persuasion of its divine authority. Hell and its terrors were +always present to me, and she taught me that the wandering suggestions +of childish imagination, the recurrence of profane expressions heard +from others, and all forms of irreverent fantasies were the very +whisperings of the devil, to her, as to me, consequently, an +ever-present spirit, perpetually tempting me to repeat, and so make +myself responsible for the wickedness in them. I remember with great +vividness a caricature of Mrs. Trollope in a satirical illustrated +edition of her travels in America, representing her sitting in a +large armchair surrounded by negroes on their knees, one of whom was +represented as saying, "De Lord lub Missee Trollope," an expression +which my mother stigmatized as impious and not to be repeated, but +which perhaps for that very reason would recur to me in thought, and +which I set myself to pray against as the very whisper of the devil in +my ears. And naturally, the more I tried to put it out of my head, the +more it got fixed there, and it was long a source of great misery to +me that I could not keep the devil away from my ears. I was never +allowed a candle to go to bed with, and as I slept in the huge garret, +covering the whole house, I used to shut my eyes when I left the +kitchen, where we all sat in the evening, and groped my way to bed +without ever again opening my eyes until the next morning, for fear +of seeing the devil on my way. Awful spiritual presences haunted +me always in the dark, when I passed a churchyard or an empty and +solitary house. Such a house stood in the pasture where I used to +drive the cow, and when it happened that she had not come home at +nightfall, and I had to go to find her, the panic I endured from the +necessity of searching around this old house no one can imagine but a +boy naturally timid and accustomed to see ghosts and evil spirits +in the dusk. But I kept my fears to myself and always made a +conscientious search. + +The peculiar ideas concerning conversion and regeneration, held in +common by all the branches of the adult-Baptist churches, were in my +mother's mind an obsession. Conviction of sin, repentance, the public +confession, profession of faith, and baptism were the necessary +degrees to regeneration, and, looking back on the tortures to which +my mother was subjected by those theological problems and the daily +anxiety she endured until each of us had passed through the gates of +salvation into the narrow way, I must wonder at that divine maternal +instinct which made her rejoice at my birth, as I know she did. + +The whole community in which we lived, with the exception of a small +Episcopal church, had the same ideas of conversion and regeneration, +and a prominent feature in our social existence was the frequent +recurrence of the great revival meetings in which all the rude +eloquence of celebrated and powerful preachers, Baptist, Methodist, +and of other sects, was poured out on excited congregations. There +were "protracted meetings," or campaigns of prayer and exhortation, +lasting often a fortnight, at which all the resources of popular +theology were employed to awaken and maintain their audiences in a +state of frenzy and religious delirium, during which conviction of sin +was supposed to enter the heart more effectually. The tortures of hell +alternated with the delights of heaven, in imagery calculated to +drive the timid and conscientious young folks to insanity, at these +meetings, to which, once awakened, the subject of conviction went +three times a day, until the hysteria, the prolonged excitement so +produced, came as a sign of acceptance. As each new convert rose on +the "anxious seat[1]," where he or she went when the first feeling +of conviction came, and afterwards made the declaration of salvation +found, the shouts and cries of "Glory to God," the sobbing and groans +of the congregation were redoubled, and the exhortations of the +preacher renewed, to the still unconvicted to come forward to the +anxious seat where they would become subject to the concentrated +and personal prayers of the whole assembly. These meetings were the +substitutes for all other social diversions or emotions. There was a +revival preacher by the name of Knapp, whose lurid eloquence in this +vein made him famous, and whose imagery was equal in ghastliness to +anything that the Catholic Church could produce. I remember one of his +most dramatic bits, borrowed from a much earlier preacher, a passage +in his description of hell. In hell, he said, there was a clock, +which, instead of "tick," "tick," said, "Eternity," "Eternity," and +when the damned, weary of their tortures down in the depths, came up +to see what time it was, they heard the sentence of the clock, and +turned in despair to go down into the depths again as far as they +could. + +[Footnote 1: The front line of seats next the pulpit, set apart for +those who had "found conviction."] + +To these meetings my mother used to send me, giving me a holiday from +school for all the time the protracted meeting lasted. But conviction +never came. I was honest with myself, and though the frenzied and +ghastly exhortations harried my soul with dread, and I longed for the +coming of the ecstasy which was the recognizable sign of the grace +of God, I could not rise to the participation in it which the most +material and hysterical of the congregation enjoyed, and day after day +I went home saddened by the conviction that I was still one of the +unregenerate. The sign never came, but several years later I went +to make a visit to my brother Charles, who had then removed to +Plainfield, N.J., where he practiced medicine, and was one of the main +supports of the church in a community where the sect was large enough +to have a constant worship, which it never had in Schenectady. Here I +came under the influence of a beloved brother of my mother, one of the +most earnest and humble Christians I have ever known, and here were +gathered others of the denomination at a protracted meeting, at which +some of my friends of my own age became seriously inclined, and we +drifted together into the profession of Christian faith. But here +there was nothing of the ghastly terrors of the great revival +agitations. My uncle was a man of the world, had been all his early +life a sailor, and had taken late to what, in his experiences of men +and the vicissitudes of life, he considered the only reality, the duty +of making known to his fellows the importance of the spiritual life. +To fit himself for the ministry, he taught himself Hebrew and Greek +as well as Latin, and many years later was chosen as one of the New +Testament revisers for the American revision committee. But to him +the profession of religion was an act of the reason, not of revival +excitement, and in his ministrations he shunned carefully all the +frenzied exhortation of the revivalists. Associated with him in the +ministry and leading the meetings was another of the Sabbatarian +pastors, Elder Estee, a grave and earnest man like my uncle, who +inspired me with great confidence. + +As I look back from the standpoint of one who reposes in the +evolutionary philosophy, in which the accidental and ecstatic +disappear, upon this phase of psychology, in which hysteria becomes +an element of moral reform, it seems to me worth while to record the +experience of one subjected to the forces which were counted as such +powerful aids to the spread of Christianity,--of one either under the +influences of the pomp of ceremony, the stimulus of music, the purely +sensuous stimulants to devotion,--or in the crude form of that +ecstatic exaltation in which the individual is carried into +a supersensuous state, in which perception, reason, and even +responsibility to a great extent are, if not suspended, so far made +abnormal that analysis becomes impossible. The term for this latter +condition amongst revivalists was "the power," and it was distinctly +a phenomenon sought for as the evidence of divine grace. The uncle of +whom I have spoken had once during his prior religious experience felt +the "power," and described it as an emotion which for the time +lifted him above the consideration of his surroundings, and left him +subsequently indifferent to that very curious shame which generally +accompanies the early yielding to the revivalist urgency of +acknowledging the necessity of change of heart,--a sense of having +made one's self ridiculous, which was, in my own and many other cases +in my knowledge, a powerful influence adverse to the "going forward" +at the meetings, or being understood to be "religious," as those were +considered who became serious in their attention at the meetings. This +was recognized by the preachers as the "fear of the world," and was +the object of attack of the most eloquent adjurations. Once carried +away by this hysteria, one had no longer any of this shame or fear of +the taunts of his irreligious companions, which was very heavy with a +nervous and sensitive boy like myself. But though I had all through my +attendance on the revival meetings earnestly desired to attain to that +exaltation, and considered it an indication of my graceless state, +that I was so insensible to the "spirit," which was another term for +the frenzy, I found it impossible to provoke it. It is a curious +subject, this usurpation of the reasoning faculties by the irrational, +which is permitted when religion becomes emotional, either in the +revolutionary condition of the revivalist or that of the conservative +and decorous ecclesiastical forms. + +The movement at Plainfield, finding me in different surroundings from +those in my native place, and under the influence of deliberate and +sober-minded people, put the religious question under another light, +but, still under the persuasion, the natural result of my life's +training, that some special emotion or spiritual change, recognizable +as such, was an indispensable sign of the "change of heart" which was +desired, I was unhappy that no such sign appeared. I can distinctly +remember that the desire to satisfy my mother's passionate longing for +what she considered my regeneration was a large part of my desire to +meet the change, and, if I might, provoke it. I did not in spite of +my efforts really understand the view which my mother, in common with +most evangelical Christians, took of the work of regeneration. The +calm, rational conviction that all men are sinners, was clear enough +to me even in my youth, and the necessity of turning from what we +call "the world," to the cultivation of the higher and spiritual +development of character was equally clear, though not so in all +points was the distinction between the things condemned as worldly and +those approved as religious, the theatre, games of chance, dancing, +and frivolous amusements in general being all in the index of those +severe theologians. + +As I remember my extreme youth I was, in spite of occasional +falsehoods,--mainly the consequence of the severity of the parental +discipline and the desire to escape the punishments I had to endure +when transgressing the sometimes whimsical injunctions laid on +me,--morbidly conscientious. I was absent-minded and often forgot +my duties, feeling, however, always the sting of remorse for any +omission, but, beyond taking apples or nuts for my own eating, I do +not think that I ever transgressed a commandment deliberately or +knowingly; I was, in fact, regarded by the boys of the neighborhood as +hopelessly "goody." I could not understand why the desire to go to a +dancing-school and dance should be a moral transgression, though +when I asked permission of my father to accept the offer of an +ex-dancing-master for whom I had been able to do some work in the +workshop, to give me preparatory lessons so that I might appear less +clumsy on entering the class, I was sternly brought to a sense of the +enormity of the matter by my father's replying, "William! I would +rather see you in your grave than in a dancing-school." I could only +understand that I had not been lifted by the divine grace from the +condition of total depravity in which I had been born, and I knew +that the preternatural indication of my redemption, which would be +recognized in the descent of the spirit in the form of the revival +frenzy, was wanting. I longed for it, prayed for it, and considered +myself forsaken of God because it would not come, but come it never +did, and it seemed to me that I was attempting to deceive both my +mother and the church when I finally yielded to the current which +carried along my young friends, and took the grace for granted, since, +as I thought, having asked the special prayers of the elders, men of +God, and powerful in influence with Him, I had a right to assume the +desired descent of the redeeming light on me, though I had never had +that peculiar manifestation of it which my companions seemed to have +experienced. I felt not a little twinge of conscience in assuming so +much, but I could not consent to prolong my mother's suspense and +grave concern at the exclusion of one of her children from the fold of +grace. I put down the doubts, accepted the conversion as logical +and real, and went forward with the others. I remember that at +the relation of our "experience" which followed as a rite on the +presentation of the convert for membership of the church, I was +the only one who told it calmly and audibly, all the others being +inaudible from their excitement and timidity, so that the presiding +elder was obliged to repeat to the audience what they said in his ear, +trembling, weeping with the emotion of the event. I felt as if I were +a hypocrite, and only the thought of my mother's satisfaction gave +me the courage to go through the ceremony. We were baptized, my +companions and I, in the little river in midwinter, after a partial +thaw, the blocks of ice floating by us in the water. + +I must have been about ten or eleven when I went through this +experience, and I never got rid of the feeling of a certain unreality +in the whole transaction, but on the other hand I had the same feeling +of unreality in the system of theology which led to it. I tried to do +my best to carry out the line of spiritual duties imposed upon me. I +made no question that I was a bad boy, but the conception of total +depravity in the theological sense never gained a hold on me, and once +inside the church there seemed to be a certain safeguard thrown over +me. The sense of _ecstasy_ (which my Uncle William had experienced in +his religious relation, the "power" of the revivalists) I have since +known in conditions of extraordinary mental exaltation, and understand +it as a mental phenomenon, as the momentary extension of the +consciousness of the individual beyond the limitations of the bodily +sense--a being snatched away from the body and made to see and feel +things not describable in terms of ordinary experience, but in my +religious evolution it had no place, then or since. + +The intellectual slowness of which I have spoken continued through +all these years. I had left the dame's school, where the rule of long +division proved my _pons asinorum_, and went to a man's school, where +I earned my schooling by making the fires and sweeping the schoolroom, +and here I learned some Latin and the higher rules in arithmetic by +rote, always with the reputation of a stupid boy, good in the snowball +fights of the intermission, when we had two snow forts to capture +and defend; in running foot-races, the speediest, and in backhand +wrestling, the strongest, but mentally hopeless. All this period of +my life seems dreary and void, except when I got to nature, and the +delight of my hours in the fields and woods is all that remains to +me of a childhood tormented by burdens of conscience laid on me +prematurely, and by a domestic discipline the severity of which, +with all the reverence and gratitude I bear my parents, I can hardly +consider otherwise than gravely mistaken and disastrous to me, though +my mother's discipline has never made me an enemy of the rod for +children. My own experience as child and parent convinces me that an +inexorable, though mild, physical punishment is the only remedy for +the obstinacy of certain fractious child natures, in the years before +reason operates, and for the assurance of necessary discipline in +families. + +The incessant Bible lessons, filling my mind with indigestible +conceptions of life present and to come, mysteries for the +contemplation of a philosopher, not for a boy of ten; the recognition +of my total depravity, as manifested in the trivial transgressions of +a thoughtless child, to whom life had hardly yet offered a duty to +fulfill or transgress; the terrible gloom of this Puritan horizon, on +which no light showed me promise of better things, only to be hoped +for through a process of repentance and atonement for the sins of +Adam, the fitness and method of which process were far beyond my +capacity to comprehend, as beyond that of any child,--all these things +made my intellectual life so sombre that I can but regard the long +interval of intellectual apathy as a fortunate provision against some +form of mental malady consequent on the morbid development of my early +childhood. + +Our winters were long and hard, and I remember the snow falling on +Thanksgiving Day (the last Thursday in November) and not thawing again +until the beginning of March, and that, in the house where I was born, +we had the fall of snow so heavy that we could tunnel the path to the +barn, the drift covering the door of the house. The coming of spring +was my constant preoccupation through the winter, and my joy was +intense at the first swelling of the buds, the coming color in the +willow twigs, which ushered in the changes of spring; then the +catkins, the willow leaves, and the long rains which carried off +the snow, all welcome as daylight after a weary night, because they +restored me to the forests and the wildflowers, the fields and the +streams; and for miles around I knew every sunny spot where came the +first anemones, hepaticas, and, above all, the trailing arbutus, joy +of my childhood, the little white violets, their yellow sisters, then +the "dog-tooth violet," and a long list of flowers whose names I have +forgotten long ago. + +The perennial delight of this return of springtime was the great +feature of my life, and then began the excursions into the forests +around us, and the succession of sights and sounds, the order of the +unfolding of the leaves, from the willow to the oak, the singing of +the frogs in the marshes, and the birds in the copses and fields (for +in the great woods there are few singing birds). I knew them all, and +when and where to hear them. The bluebird, or blue robin, as it was +called in our neighborhood, was the first, and he assured us that +spring had really come with a plaintive song, the sweetest to memory +of all nature's voices; then the American robin (the migratory +thrush), a bold, cheery note, full of summer life; and after those the +chief was the bobolink, singing up into the sky like the skylark, and +with which we connected the ripening of the strawberry, the merriest +and most rollicking of all bird songs, as that of the bluebird was the +tenderest. Then came the hermit thrush, heard only in the depth of +the forest, shy and remote in his life and nesting, and the +whip-poor-will, in the evening. Each was a new leaf turned over in my +book of life, the reading of which was my only happiness. What else, +or more, could be expected of an existence hedged in by the terrors of +eternity, the hauntings of an inevitable condemnation, unless I could +obtain some mysterious renovation, only attainable through an act of +divine grace which no human merit could entitle me to, and which I +tried in vain to win the benediction of? And how dreary seemed the +heaven I was set to win--no birds, no flowers, no fields or forests, +only the eternal continuation of the hymn-singing and protracted +meetings, in which, in our system, consisted the glorification of +God, which was the end and aim of our existences! I wonder how many +religious parents remember the misery of child life under such +influences. + +The struggles of conscience through which I went in those days can be +imagined by no one, and I can hardly realize them myself, except by +recalling little incidents which show what the pressure must have +been. I have mentioned an escapade of this period, connected with +the last flogging my father gave me, but of which that was only the +secondary cause, determining the moment but not the movement. It was +a matter of conscience at bottom. My mother had, when I was about six +years old, taken a little octoroon girl of three, the illegitimate +daughter of a quadroon in our neighborhood, with the intention +of bringing her up as a servant. The child was quick-witted and +irrepressible, and disputes began between us as soon as she felt at +home. I suppose she must have been inclined to impertinence, for she +had to be whipped, and as at her age no difference of condition was +evident to her, she became a severe trial to my equanimity. Every +outbreak of temper induced by her conduct toward me became occasion +of a period of penitence, for I was taught that such outbreaks were +sinful, and as neither had I the amount of self-control that I needed +to overlook the provocations she gave, nor had she the power of +understanding the position, the transgressions that my conscience had +to bear up under became an intolerable load. + +At this juncture came the brutal and as I felt most unmerited flogging +of which I have told the story earlier: this precipitated a decision +which had been slowly forming from my conscientious worries. I +determined to go away from home, and seek a state of life in which I +could maintain my spiritual tranquillity. I discussed the subject with +a playmate of my age, the son of a gardener living near us, and, as +his father had even a stronger propensity to the rod than mine, +we sympathized on that ground and agreed to run away and work our +passages on some ship to a land where we could live in a modified +Robinson Crusoe manner,--not an uninhabited land, but one where we +could earn, by fishing and similar devices, enough to live. I had been +employed for a few months before in carrying to and fro the students' +clothes for a washerwoman, one of the neighbors, and had earned three +or four dollars which my mother had, as usual with any trifle I +earned, put into the fund for the daily expenses. I do not know how it +was with the older boys, but for me the rule was rigid--what I could +earn was a part of the household income. I inwardly rebelled against +this, but to no effect, so I never had any pocket-money. I submitted, +as any son of my mother would have done at my age or have given +a solid reason why not; but on this occasion, when money was +indispensable to that expedition on which so much depended, I quietly +reasserted my right to my earnings, and took the wages I had received, +from the drawer where they were kept. My companion had no money +at all, and thus my trifle had to pay for both as far as it would +go,--fortunately, perhaps, as it shortened the duration of the +expedition. + +We went by train to Albany, where we took deck passage on a towing +steamer for New York. The run was longer than that of a passenger +steamer, so that the New York police who were warned to look out +for us by the post, had given us up when we arrived and search was +diverted in another direction. We arrived at New York with my funds +already nearly exhausted by the food expenses _en route_, and my +companion's courage had already given out--he was homesick and +discouraged, and announced his determination to return home. My own +courage, I can honestly say, had not failed me,--I was ready for +hardship, but to go alone into a strange world damped my ascetic ardor +and confounded all the plans I had made. I yielded, and with the last +few "York shillings"[1] in my pocket bargained for a deck passage +without board on a barge back to Albany. It was midsummer, and the +sleeping on some bags of wool which formed the better part of the +deck-load gave me no inconvenience, and the want of provisions of any +sort was remedied as well as might be by a pile of salt codfish which +was the other part of the deck-load, and which was the only food we +had until our arrival at Albany, which we reached at night after a +voyage of twenty-four hours. We slept under a boat overturned by the +shore that night until the rising tide drove us out, when we decided +to take the road back to Schenectady on foot, through a wide pine +forest which occupied the intervening country, a distance of about +sixteen miles. Passing on the way a stable in which there was nobody, +not even a beast, we turned in to sleep away the darkness, and I +remember very well what a yielding bed a manger filled with salt gave +me. With the dawn we resumed the journey, and by the way ate our fill +of whortleberries, with which the forest abounded. + +[Footnote 1: 121/2 cents each.] + +The joy of my mother at our unhoped-for arrival--for she had received +no news of us since our departure--is easily imagined, but for me the +failure of all my plans for an ascetic and more spiritual life was +made more bitter by the fact that the little octoroon, who had heard +read the letter which I left for my mother, giving the motives for my +self-exile, had repeated it to all the neighborhood, so that I not +only had failed, but became the butt of the jokes of the boys of the +neighborhood, who already held a pique against me for my serious ways +and my habit of rebuking certain vices amongst them. I was jeered at +as the boy "who left his mother to seek religion," and this made life +for a time almost intolerable. But it was in part compensated for by +the change in the situation in the household. It was clear that I +had ceased to be the boy I used to be, and that I was to be taken +seriously, and reasoned with rather than flogged. I had escaped from +the pupa state of existence. But what I still look back to with +surprise was my unflinching confidence in the future to which I +committed myself in this escapade. I thought I was right, and that the +aspiration for spiritual freedom, which was the chief motive of my +leaving home, was certain to be supported by Providence, to whom I +looked with serene complacence. If my companion had not deserted me I +should not have turned back, but his defection destroyed all my plans. +In several of my maturer ventures, I can recognize the same mental +condition of serene indifference to danger while doing what I thought +my duty, owing, perhaps, in a great measure to ignorance or incapacity +to realize the danger, but also largely to ingrained confidence in an +overruling Providence which took account of my steps and would carry +me through. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +AN AMERICAN EDUCATION + + +Whether on account of the escapade related in the preceding chapter +or from influences of which I knew, and still know, nothing, it was +decided not long after that I should go to New York to attend a public +school there and live with my eldest brother, who, being twenty-five +years older than myself, and childless, had always treated me with an +indulgence which was perhaps due in part to the rigor of my father's +rule, and in part to his fondness for me, of which I retain some early +recollections in his annual visits home. My brother's wife, a fellow +townswoman of ours, and a marriage-convert to the Seventh Day Baptist +Church, was one of the most disagreeable persons I have ever had to +deal with, and hysterical to a degree of occasional insanity. She had +adopted the severities of our Puritanic system with aggravations. The +Sabbath under her rule became a day of preatonement for the sins I was +foreordained to commit. Dinner, as was the general custom in those +days, was at noon, but on Saturday I had none till I had committed to +heart and recited a portion of Scripture, and as the mental apathy +of the period still weighed on me, the task of the Seventh Day was a +sarcastic comment on the divine rest, in commemoration of which it was +supposed to be instituted, and it made me grateful for the Sunday, +which I generally passed in mechanical occupations in the workshop of +my third brother, Paul, the foreman of the department in which the +minor articles of the works were made, steam-gauges, models of +inventions, etc., and as I had my share of the family manual +dexterity, I found interest enough in the workshop. As my brothers +always observed the Sabbath rigidly, they attracted around them a few +of the New England mechanics who were "Sabbath-keepers" and mostly +related to us, and so we had a small congregation and a church of our +way of thinking. + +The school to which I was sent was one of those founded by the Public +School Society, a voluntary association of well-to-do citizens, who, +in the absence of any municipal initiative, had organized themselves +for the encouragement and support of primary education. As they +were originally excluded from the management of the schools, the +politicians, finding this a new field of operations and partisan +activity, presently established the rival system of the municipal +schools called "ward schools." At that time the political intrigues of +the Catholic Church for the control of the public school system had +just begun. The Public School Society had been organized for the free +and non-sectarian education of all children unable to meet the expense +of education in the private schools, and received subsidies from the +municipality. Not only were all children under sixteen admitted to +these schools without any fees, but the books, stationery, and all +other material necessary were furnished gratuitously, and those who +were shoeless were even provided with shoes, the only requisites +being cleanliness and regular attendance. The direction was rigidly +non-sectarian. The trustees were unpaid, and they comprised many of +the leading citizens interested in popular education. They had built +for their service sixteen schoolhouses in New York, and in each of +these there were on an average a thousand children. The schoolhouses, +of three stories, had a primary department for such children as were +too young to be taught their letters or were not yet able to read and +write, and to them the basement was given, the second story to the +older girls, and the upper to the boys. The teaching for the boys' +department was limited to the elements of arithmetic, elementary +algebra, astronomy, and geometry, but within these limits the +education was thorough, and all who went through it were qualified for +places in offices or counting-rooms. The day was always opened by +the reading of Scripture and prayer by the principal or one of the +assistants, and this practice was made the ground of attack by the +Catholic politicians, who objected to the Protestant Bible, all the +school-books being already expurgated of every passage to which the +bishops objected. + +As our assistant principal was a Catholic, and often had to read the +chapter, there could have been little harm done even to a Catholic +pupil, but the political pressure was sufficient to induce the +corporation of the city to adopt the political or "ward school" +system, controlled by the politicians, and the new schools, one of +which was or was to be established in each ward of the city, began to +run an active opposition to the society schools, which they eventually +drove out of existence. + +At the time I was in the school, the interference of politics had just +begun to make itself felt in the schools, but the corporation had not +the courage to introduce its system on a large scale by supplanting +_en bloc_ the society schools, which might have made a political +revolt; the Irish Catholic influence was still a feeble one, and the +population at large was hardly aware of its tendency, but as the +ward schools were gradually brought into active competition with the +society schools the children were drawn off from the latter by various +inducements and pressure on the parents. Each of our schools had four +paid teachers--the principal, an assistant, and a junior and a senior +monitor; and the elder pupils were employed in the instruction of the +younger and in the preservation of order in school and in the school +yard during the intermissions in which the gymnastics were enforced. +My mental apathy must have been still very profound, for I remember +that it often happened that when a question which had passed other +pupils came to me in the class, the senior monitor used to address me, +"Well, stupid, what do you say?" I evidently was the most stupid boy +in the class--nothing seemed to penetrate my mental dullness, but, +having grown tall and strong for my age, I was often made "yard +monitor," to keep order during the physical training. + +There was a gang of young ruffians, street boys, who used to hang +around the school gates and maltreat the stragglers and even the boys +in the yard, if the gate was left open, and I remember one day three +or four of them invading the school-yard after I had dismissed the +boys to go upstairs at the end of the intermission, thinking that they +would have a fine game with the monitor. One made a pretext to quarrel +with me, and, gripping me round the body, called to his companions to +go and get some stones to pound me on the head with, this being the +approved manner of the young roughs of New York. Finding that I could +not extricate myself from his grip, I dragged him to the wall, and, +catching him by the ears, beat his head against the rough stones until +he dropped insensible, when, to the astonishment of his comrades, +instead of stamping on him and finishing him at once, I ran upstairs +as fast as my legs could carry me, so that when they came with their +stones they had only their champion to carry out. + +On the holidays there were generally stone-fights between the boys of +our quarter and one of the adjoining quarters, and I shall carry to +my grave the scars on my head of cuts received in one of these field +combats, in which I refused to follow my party in flight, and took the +onslaught of the whole vanguard of the enemy, armed with stones, +and had my head pounded yellow, being only saved from worse by the +intervention of the men of the vicinity. This fight gave me the +unmerited reputation of courage and fighting power, and I was +thereafter unmolested by the young roughs, though, in fact, I was +timid to a degree and only stood my ground from nervous obstinacy; I +never provoked a quarrel, and only revolted against a bully when +the position became intolerable. I can remember the amazement of a +companion older than myself, who had been in the habit of bullying me +freely, until one day he went too far and I took him by the collar and +shook and swung him till he was dizzy and begged for mercy, for of +downright pugilistics I knew nothing, and a deliberate blow in the +face with my fist in cold blood was a measure too brutal to enter into +my mind. + +The dreariness of this portion of my life was beyond description. The +oppression of my sister-in-law at home, the severities of the teachers +at school, and the exclusion from the influences of nature, in which +I had so long lived without restraint, resulted in an attack of +nostalgia which, when the coming of the first wildflowers brought it +to a crisis, induced my brother to send me home. + +My brother was attached to me, but the jealousy of his wife towards +anybody who seemed to have any influence over him made it impossible +for him to show any feeling even to me, for it brought on furious +attacks of hysteria, to appease which he had sometimes to resort to +humiliating devices. One day she became so excited that she fell into +an extreme prostration and declared that she was dying. She had every +indication, indeed, of approaching dissolution, and made her last +dispositions, when my brother Charles, who was the family physician, +seeing that the danger was real, assured her husband that unless some +diversion of her humor was effected she would die. He advised +exciting her jealousy, and her husband, accordingly, as if taking +her dispositions for his conduct after her death, asked her what she +thought of his marrying, in that contingency, a certain lady, whose +name he mentioned, whereupon she rose in her bed in such a rage at the +suggestion (the woman being her especial detestation) that she threw +off all the symptoms of illness, and the next day went about the house +as usual. This cure proved a grave misfortune to the whole family. + +In spite of my aversion I was sent back to New York the next autumn +for another winter's schooling. I landed from the steamer at the foot +of Cortlandt Street two or three days after a great fire in New York, +and I saw the ruins still smoking and the firemen playing on them. +My baggage--a biscuit box, with my scanty wardrobe and a bag of +hickory-nuts for my city cousins--I carried on my shoulders and walked +the length of the city, my brother living in what was then farther New +York, in Seventh Street, near the East River. At that time Fourteenth +Street was the extreme limit of the city's growth, except for a few +scattering residences. Beyond, and, on the East River side, even most +of what lay beyond Seventh Street, was unreclaimed land. I sailed my +toy boats on the salt marshes where Tompkins Square now is, and I used +to shoot, botanize, and hunt for crystals all over the island beyond +Thirty-Second Street, the land being sparsely inhabited. I discovered +a little wild cactus growing freely amongst the rocks, and carried +a handkerchief full of it home, getting myself well pricked by the +spines, but to my botanical enthusiasm this was nothing in view of the +discovery. Only here and there patches of arable land maintained small +farmhouses, but the greater part of the surface of Manhattan Island +was composed of a poor grazing land, interspersed with rolling ledges +of bare granite, on which were visible what were then known as +"diluvial scratches," which my brother Charles, who was an ardent +naturalist, explained to me as the grooves made by the irruption of +the deluge, which carried masses of stone across the broad ledges and +left these scratches, then held widely as testimony to the actuality +of the great deluge of Genesis. I think that we had to wait for +Agassiz to show us that the "diluvial scratches" were really glacial +abrasions, caused by the great glacier which came down the valley of +the Hudson and went to sea off Sandy Hook. At this time my brother was +making conchology his special study, and many holidays we spent on the +harbor, dredging for shells, and great was our joy when he discovered +a new species, which was named after him by the Lyceum of Natural +History of New York. + +The following year my fifth brother, Jacob, on leaving college, took +charge of a school in the centre of New York State, built by the +Sabbatarian community at large, in De Ruyter, a village of which many +of the inhabitants were Sabbatarians, and it was decided that I should +go there to follow my studies in preparation for college. I was to +"board out" a debt which an uncle owed to my eldest brother, and +which was uncollectible in any other way, and there I made my first +acquaintance with semi-independent life, exchanging a home for a +dormitory and a boarding-house. My uncle was to supply also my +bedding, the academy being provided with bedsteads; but he was a +heedless man, and I remember that I had to sleep six weeks on the +bed-cords, with my wearing apparel as my only covering, before he +awoke to the fact that I had a prepaid claim on him for mattress and +bedding. But we were on the edge of a great forest, and in the almost +primeval woodland I found compensation for many discomforts, and what +time my tasks spared me was spent wandering there. The persistent +apathy which had oppressed me for so many years still refused to lift, +and my stupidity in learning was such that my brother threatened to +send me home as a disgrace to the family. I had taken up Latin again, +algebra, and geometry, and, though I was up by candlelight in the +morning, and rarely put my books away till after ten at night except +for meals, it was impossible for me to construe half of the lesson +in Virgil, and the geometry was learned by rote. I at length gave up +exercise to gain time for study, and my despairing struggles were +misery. I was then fourteen, and in the seventh year of this darkness, +and it seemed to me hopeless. + +What happened I know not, but about the middle of the first term the +mental fog broke away suddenly, and before the term ended I could +construe the Latin in less time than it took to recite it, and the +demonstrations of Euclid were as plain and clear as a fairy story. My +memory came back so completely that I could recite long poems after +a single reading, and no member of the class passed a more brilliant +examination at the end of the term than I. At the end of the second +term I could recite the whole of Legendre's geometry, plane and +spherical, from beginning to end, without a question, and the class +examination was recorded as the most remarkable which the academy +had witnessed for many years. I have never been able to conceive an +explanation of this curious phenomenon, which I record only as of +possible interest to some one interested in psychology. Unfortunately, +the academy failed to meet the expenses, and at the end of my second +term the students dispersed to their homes, I going with great regret, +for I enjoyed intensely this life on the edge of a large natural +forest, through which ran a trout brook, and in which such wild +woodland creatures as still survived our civilization were tolerably +abundant. Amongst my fellow-students at De Ruyter was Charles Dudley +Warner, with whom I contracted a friendship which survives in +activity, though our paths in life have been since widely separated. +I recall him as a sensitive, poetical boy,--almost girlish in his +delicacy of temperament,--and showing the fine _esprit_ which has +made him one of the first of our humorists. His "Being a Boy" is a +delightful and faithful record of the existence of a genuine +New England boy, which will remain to future generations as a +paleontological record when the race of them is extinct, if indeed it +be not so already. + +Returning to Schenectady, I found that the family had begun to +discuss the future of my career, which had arrived at the point of +divergences. My father, who had no opinion of the utility of advanced +education for boys in our station, was tenacious in his intention to +have me in his workshop, where he needed more apprentices, but my +mother was still more obstinate in hers that I should have the +education; and in the decision the voices of my brothers were too +potent not to hold the casting vote. In the stern, Puritanical manner +of the family, I had been more or less the _enfant gate_ of all its +members, except my brother Paul, the third of my brothers, who, coming +into the knowledge of domestic affairs at the time when the family was +at its greatest straits, had expressed himself bitterly at my birth, +over the imprudence of our parents' increasing their obligations when +they were unable to provide for the education of the children they had +already, and had always retained for me a little of the bitterness of +those days. On the whole, the vote of the family council was for the +education. My own wishes were hardly consulted, for I differed from +both opinions, having an intense enthusiasm for art, to which I wished +to devote myself. + +The collective decision, in which my father and myself were alike +overruled, was that I should go to Union College, in Schenectady, +as the collegiate education was supposed to be a facilitation for +whatever occupation I might afterwards decide on. This was, so far as +I was concerned, a fatal error, and one of a kind far too common in +New England communities, where education is estimated by the extent +of the ground it covers, without relation to the superstructure to +be raised on it. I had always been a greedy reader of books, and +especially of histories and the natural sciences,--everything in the +vegetable or animal world fascinated me,--and I had no ambition for +academic honors, nor did I ever acquire any, but I passionately +desired a technical education in the arts, and the decision of the +family deferred the first steps in that direction for years, and +precisely those years when facility of hand is most completely +acquired and enthusiasm against difficulties is strongest--the years +when, if ever, the artist is made. + +That one of the gravest difficulties in our modern civilized life +is the excessive number of liberally educated young men whose +professional ambitions are, and can be, given no outlet, is now well +recognized, and of these, many no doubt, like myself, are diverted +from a natural bent to follow one which has no natural leading or +sequence. It was very possible for a clever man three hundred years +ago to learn all that science could show him without interference with +the acquisition of the special knowledge required to fit him for the +attainment of eminence in a technical study, or the technical mastery +in the working it out, but now the range of a liberal education is +so great that those who are required to take respectable rank in a +specialty must devote themselves exclusively to it, during the years +in which alone technical mastery is possible of acquirement. There +will always be many to whom the devotion to study for study's sake is +invincible, but the ranks of the brain-workers are so overcrowded that +it is a great pity to force into them a man or woman who would be +content to be a worker in another and humbler line, especially in +those of the manual occupations which bring their happiness in the +following of them. In my case the result of the imposed career was a +disaster; I was diverted from the only occupation to which I ever had +a recognizable calling, and ultimately I drifted into journalism, +as the consequence of a certain literary facility developed by the +exercises of the college course. The consequences were the graver that +I was naturally too much disposed to a vagrant life; and the want of +a dominant interest in my occupation led to indulgence, on every +occasion that offered in later life, of the tendency to wander. I came +out of the experience with a divided allegiance, enough devotion to +letters to make it a satisfaction to occupy myself with them, but +too much interest in art to be able to abandon it entirely. Before +entering college, art was a passion, but when, at the age of twenty, +the release gave me the liberty to throw myself into painting, the +finer roots of enthusiasm were dead, and I became only a dilettante, +for the years when one acquires the mastery of hand and will which +make the successful artist were past. + +It was decided that I should continue my preparation for college in +the Lyceum of my native town, a quaint octagonal building in which the +students were seated in two tiers of stalls, the partitions between +which were on radii drawn from a centre on the master's desk, so that +nothing the pupil did escaped his supervision. The larger boys, some +of whom were over sixteen, were in a basement similarly arranged with +a single tier of desks, and I earned my instruction by supervising +this room. I had here full authority so far as the maintenance of +order was concerned and kept it, though some of the pupils were +older than myself. I remember that one of them, about my own age and +presumed strength, but himself convinced of his superiority, repeated +some act which I had reprimanded him for, and as I knew that to allow +it to pass unpunished was to put an end to my authority and position, +yet did not feel competent or authorized to give him a regular +flogging, I caught him by the collar and jerked him into the middle of +the room, setting him down on the floor with force enough to bewilder +him a little, and ordered him to sit there till I released him, and +his surprise was such that he actually did not move till I told him +to. I met no attempt to put my authority at defiance after that. A +schoolfellow here and classmate in college was Chester A. Arthur, +afterward President of the United States, a brilliant Hellenist, and +one of the best scholars and thinkers in the class. + +There were two associate principals at the head of the school, one for +the classics, and the other for mathematics. Of the former I became +a favorite on account of the facility with which I got on in his +branches, and when the year was up I passed easily the examinations +for entrance into college, and by his advice entered in the freshman +year, though fairly well prepared to enter the sophomore with slight +conditions. He was anxious that I should do him credit in college. But +long before the term was out I found that the routine gave me hardly +an occupation. I had already done all the mathematics of the year at +De Ruyter, and the Latin and Greek came so easy that I found myself +idle most of my time. I decided to try a fresh examination in order to +gain a year by reentering as a sophomore. The faculty declared such a +thing unprecedented and inadmissible, to which I replied that I would +then go to another college and enter, quite oblivious of the fact that +I had neither the means nor the consent of my family to leave its +protection and go to another city. The classical principal of the +Lyceum, who was also a tutor in the college, did what he could to +dissuade me, but I persisted and offered myself for examination, and +found him on the examining committee. He was really fond of me, and in +my own interest wanted me to go through college with honors, but this +was to me of trivial importance, compared with the abbreviation by a +year of the captivity of college life. He punished me by putting me to +read for examination a passage of Juvenal, which I had never opened, +as it did not come in the course even of the sophomores, but I passed +fairly well on it, and he, with a little irritation, gave me the +certificate, saying that it was not for what I did, but for what +he knew me to be capable of. So, conditioned by some trivial +supplementary examinations on subjects which I do not remember, I went +up a class. + +The constitution of Union College, like most of the American schools +of the highest grade at that time, differed from that of the English +model in some respects very widely. The "University" of Union was +completed by collegated schools for medicine, divinity, law, and +technical education. The medical and law schools of Union were at +Albany, the capital of New York State. Our college buildings were +three--one, West College, in the town, for the freshman and sophomore +classes, and two on the hill above the town, North and South colleges, +for the juniors and seniors. As a large proportion of the students +were young men to whom the expenses of the education were a serious +matter, many prepared themselves at home to enter the junior class, so +that a class which only numbered a score as freshmen, often graduated +a hundred. Others, again, used to spend the winter term and vacations +in teaching in the rural or "district" schools to pay the expenses +of the other terms, and the majority of the graduates were of these +classes of men, often adults on entering, so that the class gathered +seriousness as it went on. + +The freshmen and sophomores, delegated to the care of the junior +professors and tutors, indulged in many of the escapades of juvenility +for which university life in most countries is distinguished, and were +continually brought under the inflictions of college discipline, and +now and then some one was expelled. The favorite tricks of getting a +horse or cow into the recitation rooms, fastening the tutors in their +rooms just before the class hours, tying up, or stealing, the +bell which used to wake the students and call them to prayers or +recitations, with rare and perilous excursions into the civic domain, +or a fire alarm caused by setting fire to the outhouses, which always +brought down on us the wrath of the firemen, varied the monotony of +the student life, as everywhere else; but as I roomed at home for the +first year I never had part in these escapades, and in my sophomore +winter I took a district school in one of the valleys tributary to +that of the Mohawk, in which the town lies. + +The community in which the school was situated was almost exclusively +composed of Scotch Cameronians, of whom several families were the +descendants of a then still vigorous patriarch of the sternest type of +that creed. It was necessary to pass a special examination to get the +State certificate necessary to teach a district school, and this I had +passed, but had still to undergo the questioning of the trustees of +the district, canny and cautious beyond the common. The wages for such +a school were twelve dollars a month and "board around," i.e. staying +at the houses of the parents a week for each pupil in turn, beginning +with those in best estate, so that, as the school had never less than +twenty or thirty pupils, the poorer families were never called on. One +of the boys intended to go to college, and his father was willing to +pay a special contribution to secure a teacher of Latin, and this +brought my wages up to sixteen dollars a month. But the cautious Scots +urged a conditional engagement,--a trial of one month,--a condition +which, as I might have anticipated, would end the engagement with +the month, considering the composition of the district and the usual +difference of views among the people. The two most advanced and oldest +of the pupils belonged to families bound together by the most cordial +jealousy which a petty community could inspire, and one of these was +my Latin pupil. His rival was a lazy student and a turbulent scholar, +with whom I had difficulties from insubordination from the beginning. +As, however, I had adopted the rule of depending entirely on moral +suasion in the government of the school and refused to flog, but +instead offered prizes for good behavior and studiousness at my own +expense for each week, my confidence in the better qualities of human +nature betrayed me from the beginning. The prizes went to stimulate +the jealousies between the two leaders, and the only punishment I +would inflict, that of sending the pupil home for disobedience, made +domestic difficulties. + +The first week of the month I was boarded in the family of our +patriarch, whose grandsons furnished a number of the pupils, and the +life they led me was not one to make me regret the termination of the +engagement. I was awaked while it was still night to join in family +prayers, which were of a severity of which I had never dreamed. First +a long selection of Psalms was read, then another long one sung, and +then a prayer which, as I noticed by the clock, varied from ten to +twelve minutes, through which, being still drowsy, I slept, being +awakened by the family rising from their knees. This was the +invariable routine gone through twice a day. As in our own family, +with the exception of the Saturday morning family service, the +devotions were always those of the closet, this tedium of godliness +was a serious infliction. I was waked out of sound sleep, and bored +through, before breakfast, by vain repetitions lasting on an average +half an hour, after having endured the same for another half-hour +before being allowed to go to bed. No escape was permitted even to the +ill-willing, and it may easily be imagined that this addendum to +the annoyances of my school hours made the position of the +district schoolmaster one for which sixteen dollars a month was no +compensation. + +The conflicts in the school, if they gave me less tedium, were all +the more acute. My Latin scholar was a lad who meant to profit by his +opportunities and devoted himself to his studies, and, naturally, had +a most cordial collaboration on my part, while the son of the rival +citizen was both lazy and refractory, so that, with my system of +inflicting no corporal punishments, he got none of the weekly prizes, +and got such milder punishments as could be inflicted. To tell the +truth, the pupils who were refractory to my system were few in +proportion, and the school was a pleasanter place than if the rod had +been always in hand, as in the days of my boyhood. But the month of +trial did not elapse without signs of a storm brewing in the valley. +My novel system of sparing the rod and spoiling the children could not +fail to provoke the disapproval of the orthodox, and the head of the +conspiracy was the father of my lazy schoolboy. + +I left the valley for a visit home, on the last week of the month on +Friday night, and started back on foot, a walk of fifteen or twenty +miles, on Sunday afternoon, too late for convenience as I discovered +in the event. That portion of the valley of the Mohawk, a broad and +level plain, is bounded on the west by a range or ranges of hills +divided by deep valleys running north and south, perpendicular to the +course of the river, and in one of these valleys lay the township of +Princeton, in the middle of which was the schoolhouse, the farms of +the community being scattered over the hills around, and some of them +at distances of a mile or two. It was the head of the glen, and the +lay of the land was almost that of an amphitheatre, cannily chosen by +the father of the colony, the old Cameronian whose prayers and long +services grated so on my New England Puritanism. Before I turned out +of the Mohawk valley into that of Princeton, the sun had set, with all +the signs of a coming snowstorm, which broke on me suddenly in the +glen with a furious north wind tearing down the gorge and drifting the +snow as it fell, so that before I had gone a mile with the snow in my +face, it was almost impossible to force my way against snow and wind. +I wore a long Spanish cloak, such as was much in vogue then and there; +wrapping my face in it so that only my eyes were free, I fought on, +sometimes only able to walk backward from the cutting cold against my +face and eyes, making very slow progress; but it was Sunday night, and +the school must be opened at 9 A.M. on Monday. The snow gathered in +drifts often up to my middle, with bare, wind-swept spaces between, +and these drifts at times were crusted with wind-packed snow too hard +to be waded through, and I was obliged to break the snow crust by +throwing myself at full length on it. In this way I struggled on till +ten at night, when I came to a solitary house by the roadside, at +which I stopped to ask a night's lodging, for I could fight the +weather no longer. The house was dark and the family asleep, but I was +admitted. The bed given me was as cold as the snow outside, but it was +luxury compared to some of the quarters I had in my school district. +At one of the houses at which I had to take my turn, I remember that +there had been, as an afterthought of the house architect, a door +cut between the room I slept in and the farmyard, but, whether from +indifference or inability, the door had never been put in, and a +curtain which supplied its place and was intended to keep the snow +out, did it so incompletely that I found in the morning--after a snowy +night--that a heavy drift had formed between the opening and the bed. +In this room, too, I shared the bed of the hired man, who was paid the +same wages as mine, and in the eyes of the community was therefore in +every way my equal. + +On reaching the schoolhouse the next morning, I found gathered there +not only a part of the scholars, but some of their parents,--including +the trustees of the school,--and was not long in learning that my +absence had been made use of by the disaffected of the district to +depose me. We had a brief debate, not on the question whether I should +go or not, but on the grounds of disaffection. The father of my lazy +boy was, of course, the spokesman, and it seemed as if he resented his +son's not being flogged, for want of discipline and partiality were +the burden of his complaint. This gave me ample opportunity for a +statement of my principles in instruction, and to say that his son was +the laziest and most stupid boy in the school, and that instruction +was wasted on him, and to contrast his progress and qualities +with those of my Latin boy. It was malicious, I admit, but it was +successful in infuriating the debate, and as I saw by the gathering +that the majority had decided to avail themselves of the month's +conditional engagement to dismiss me, I was quite indifferent to the +discord I left behind me. + +"It's all very fine for you," said my antagonist, whose Scotch I will +not attempt to reproduce, "to sit up there on your desk and get your +sixteen dollars a month, as if you were a hard-working man,"--to which +I replied, "Perhaps you think you can come up here and earn it." As I +was quite indifferent to the dismissal, and only did not avail myself +of the privilege of going because I always had an obstinate way of +sticking to a thing I had begun till it was finished, I made no +attempt to conciliate, and it was with neither surprise nor serious +annoyance that I received my notice of dismissal. The only things I +had enjoyed, indeed, during the month, had been the walks through +the dense forest from the farmhouses to the schoolhouse in the quiet +sunshine of the winter mornings. The woods were more natural and older +than those around my home, and there was a freshness in the early +day which I never had realized so fully as in these morning walks to +school, and I shall always remember the snowy silence of that forest, +the first, on that scale, I had become familiar with. + +But the poverty of the lives of these prosperous farmers was a +revelation even to me, accustomed as I was to a domestic simplicity +which would surprise modern Americans of any degree. New books were +a luxury none of them indulged in; beyond the Bible and two or three +volumes of general information, there was no reading except a weekly +newspaper, and the diet was such as I had never been used to, even at +De Ruyter. But for the vegetables of the farm, sailors at sea would +fare better than these landsmen. In later years I boarded with one of +the farmers in an adjoining valley, where I was engaged in painting a +cascade of great beauty, and for the six weeks I lived in the family I +saw only two articles of animal food--salt mackerel for breakfast and +salt pork for dinner. The narrowness of intellectual range and the +bigotry--political and religious--prevailing amongst them was such as +I had in no experience ever encountered, even in the "straitest sect +of the Pharisees," the Seventh Day Baptist Church of my youth. In the +community in which I had grown, there was always the early influence +of the sea to widen the range of thought and sympathy, but here, in +the narrow valley to which the farmer was confined, neither nature nor +religion seemed to have any liberating or liberalizing power. A +sturdy independence was the dominant trait of character, but this +independence was converted into a self-enslavement by the narrow range +of thought which everywhere prevailed. The old Cameronian patriarch, +in his sectarian exaltation, seemed almost a luminary in the +intellectual twilight of that secluded community, and it was possible +there to understand how even a narrow religious fanaticism could +become an ennobling element in the character of a community living in +such a restricted and materializing atmosphere. A few weeks in such +a state of society enables one to understand better the irresistible +attraction of cities and the life in the midst of multitudes to the +rustic, born and raised in the back-water stagnation of a rural life +like that of the farmers of my school district. + +The remaining two months of the broken term of the college course and +the better part of the vacation were spent in my father's workshop, +where the work was rather pressing and the shop short-handed. My +father's business was mainly the manufacture of certain mechanical +implements for which he and his brother held the patents, and in the +spring and autumn he was accustomed to carry the consignments of them +to his customers in New York. His workshop was resorted to by several +ingenious fellow New Englanders who had inventions to work out, and in +the execution of these I was found useful. Among these was one Daniel +Ball, whose specialty was locks, of which he invented, patented, +and sold the patents of a new one every year, all worked out in my +father's shop. Ball was a man of remarkable mechanical ingenuity and +extraordinary profanity--of a savage temper, and very exclusive in his +human sympathies; but he had a profound reverence for my father, of +whom he used to say that "Old Joe Stillman was the only honest man God +ever made," and I am inclined to think, looking back on a long life +and wide experience in men of all classes and many nations, that Ball +was justified in the esteem he held my father in, though admissibly +wrong in his exclusiveness,--for I cannot recall, in all my memories +of the old man, a single instance of his hesitating over the most +trivial transaction in which a question of honesty was involved, and I +have known him to relinquish his clear rights rather than to provoke +a disagreement with a neighbor. He had a profound aversion to any +ostentation of religious fervor, as had my mother. If he had lived +to-day he would certainly have been an advanced evolutionist; even +then his liberality in matters of doctrine and his unbounded charity +towards all differences of opinion in religious questions used to +cause my mother great anxiety as to his orthodoxy. He thought +the fields and woods better places to pass the Sabbath in than a +meeting-house, and this was a subject of great pain to her, the more +that he developed the same feeling in me; but he never deferred in +these matters to anybody, and never held a shade of that reverence for +the clergy which was almost a passion in my mother's nature. While of +an extreme tenderness of heart to all suffering or hardship outside +the family, even towards animals, his domestic discipline was brutal +and narrow. In the latter respect he was a survival of the old New +England system; in the former, himself. + +I had a parrot given me by one of my brothers returning from the +Southern States, and the bird took an extravagant fondness for my +father rather than for me. He was allowed to go free about the house +and garden, and would go and sit on the fence when my father should be +coming back from the workshop to dinner and supper, and run to meet +his footstep long before he was in sight, chuckling and chattering +with delight. Early one morning the parrot got shut, by chance, in the +cupboard, and, attempting to gnaw his way out, was mistaken for a rat, +and father took the shovel to kill him, while mother carefully opened +the door so that the rat might squeeze his way out to be killed, but +poor Poll got the blow instead, and had his neck broken. All that day +my father stayed at home weeping for Polly, and no business misfortune +in my recollection ever affected him as the death of the parrot did. +He could flog me without mercy, but he could not see the suffering of +a domestic or wild animal without tears, nor would he tolerate in us +children the slightest tendency to cruelty to the least living thing. + +I have alluded to the differences between him and my mother on the +subject of education, the inutility of which, beyond a common-school +standard, he made an article of faith, and the return to the workshop +for the balance of the vacation, after my school-teaching failure, was +the occasion of the final battle. As the vacation drew to an end, and +the time which was still available for studying up the subjects of +the last term, for the examination on reentering, approached its +imperative limit, I notified him that I must stop work. He said +nothing until I had actually given it up and gone back to my study, +about two weeks before the examination day. Coming home from the shop +that day to dinner, in a very bad humor, he asked me why I had +not been at work. I replied that I had barely the time absolutely +necessary to make up my arrears of study to enter college for the next +term. Then he broke out on me with a torrent of abuse as an idle, +shirking boy, who only cared to avoid work, ending with the accusation +that all I wanted was to "eat the bread of idleness," a phrase he was +very fond of. I suppose I inherited some of his inequality of temper, +and I replied by leaving the table, throwing my chair across the room +as I did so; and, assuring him that when I ate another morsel of bread +in his house he would know the reason why, I left the house in a +towering rage. Having forewarned him days before that I must go, +without his making the least objection, and having postponed the step +to the latest possible moment, out of consideration for the work in +hand, I considered this treatment as ungenerous, and was indignant. + +I do not think that, weighing all the circumstances of the case, one +could say that my father was entitled to impose his authority in +a purely arbitrary interference with a matter in which the family +council had decided on my course, and which involved all my future, or +that my refusal to obey an irrational command implies any disrespect +to him. At all events, I decided at once that I would not yield in +this matter, and I made my preparations to seek another home, even +with a modification in my career. If I must abandon the liberal +education, I would not waste my life in a little workshop with three +workmen, and no opportunity to widen the sphere of activity, or +opening into a larger occupation. If I should be obliged to leave the +college, it should be for something in the direction of art, and in +this light I did not much regret the change. I had not, however, +calculated on my mother's tenacity, or the imperceptible domination +she exercised over my father. + +When I returned to the house to get my clothes and make my +preparations for leaving home for good, I had a most painful scene +with my mother, and it was the only serious misunderstanding I ever +had with her. She went through, in a rapid resume, the history of my +life, from the day when I was given her in consolation for the little +brother before me, who died, with a word for each of the crises +through which her care had carried me,--accidents, grave maladies, for +I was apparently not a strong child, and at several conjunctures my +life had been despaired of; all the story being told as she walked +up and down rapidly in the chamber, with the tears running down her +cheeks, and with a passionate vehemence I had never suspected her to +be capable of, since she had the most complete self-restraint I ever +knew in a woman. But it was an _impasse_--I neither could nor would +go back from the career decided upon, nor would the family have +consented, and to return to the workshop at my father's insistence was +to lose everything. It seemed brutal to refuse mother's entreaties +to ignore the collision of wills, and to go on as if nothing had +happened, but to do this and remain in the house with my father, in +the perpetual danger of another conflict, was impossible. The question +had to be settled, and all I could do was to insist on father's making +a distinct disavowal of any right or intention to demand my services +in the shop at any future time, and leaving me free to follow the +programme agreed on in the family council. It was in effect a frank +apology that I wanted, but I knew him too well to suppose he would +ever consent to make an apology in words, or to admit to me that he +had made a mistake; and I left the solution in my mother's hands, with +the understanding that the definite promise should be made to her, +and I knew too that this would hold him as completely as if made to a +public authority. Nothing could bring her to contradict him openly, +and in all my life I never saw her make a sign of disrespect for his +mastery in domestic things, but I knew that once this promise was made +to her I could count on his being held to it sternly. + +That evening the matter was settled, but of what had passed, or what +was said, I never knew anything, for my mother never wasted words; +and, while no apology was made, or any retraction expressed, neither +my father nor myself ever alluded to the subject of my working in +the shop again, nor did I ever, as before, go into it during the +vacations, or offer to assist when affairs were hurried. The habit of +asserting the paternal authority and the sense of it, in my father, +were so strong that I never risked again reviving it. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +COLLEGE LIFE + + +I passed my examination and resumed my place in the class, but I never +tried district school-teaching again. Entering upon my junior year I +had a room in the north college. Each of the upper buildings--which +properly should have been called halls--was divided into five +sections, in effect separate residences, each being under the custody +of one of the professors or tutors, who was responsible for order +in the same, the two end sections of each of the colleges being an +official residence for one of the senior professors with families. The +rule required the students to be in their rooms after supper, but it +was almost as much honored in the breach as in the observance, and, +though the skylarking which resulted from the former often brought +the section officer up, those who had any tact avoided too close +an insistence on the regulations, so that the students in the same +sections commonly visited each other in the evenings, and not +infrequently those from the other sections came in. + +Our quarters were of the simplest,--one room for two students, with +one wide bed,--and there we lived and studied. At half-past five the +bell rang to wake us, and half an hour later for prayers, the +sleepy ones returning to sleep after the waking bell, and thrusting +themselves into their clothes as they ran when the prayer-bell rang, +to get to prayers before the roll-call was over. From prayers again +we dispersed to the recitation rooms for the morning recitations, and +then to breakfast, mostly in town. There were two boarding-houses, one +at each end of the college walk, known as "North" and "South" halls +and forming part of the architectural scheme of the institution, and +here board was provided at somewhat lower terms than at the private +boarding-houses in town, and of very much inferior quality. The price +at the halls was, if I remember correctly, $1.25 a week for three +meals a day, that in the town ranging from $1.50 to $1.75. Furnished +rooms in the town cost 75 cents per week more, and a few favored or +wealthier students had permission to room in them, but as a rule the +undergraduates of Union were men of very limited means, on which +account the president and founder of the college, Dr. Nott, had +planned its regulations to facilitate the attendance of that class of +students, and the rules were such as closely to restrict the students +from any participation in the social life of the towns-people. The +visits of the section officers to the rooms of the students were +irregular, and the inquisition into the causes of absence so thorough, +that few, not of the most reckless, cared to risk a visit to the town, +half a mile from the upper buildings; and the old doctor's police was +too good for men to escape detection in any serious indulgence in +irregular hours. + +Union was, at this epoch, and during the active life of the doctor, +the third university of the United States, coming, in the general +estimation and the number of its graduates, immediately after Yale, +Harvard being then, as always, the first; and it owed its character +and peculiar reputation to the strong and singular personality of its +first president. I have, in the course of my life, become more or less +acquainted with many able men, and Dr. Nott was the most remarkable of +all the teachers I have ever known, considering the limitation of his +position and profession,--that of a Presbyterian clergyman in a time +when sectarian differences ran high, and his sect had no lead in +public opinion. He had attained his position by the force of his +character assisted by his extraordinary tact and eloquence, but +unaided by patronage, and this at the beginning of the nineteenth +century, a time when institutions were forming and nothing was settled +in the character of society. The manual of public speakers which we +used to draw on for the speeches in class recitations included, as one +of the most brilliant examples, the doctor's oration on the death +of Alexander Hamilton, killed in a duel with Aaron Burr, one of the +earliest and the most prominent of the demagogues of America. I have +not read the oration for fifty years; but, as I remember it, it +was, in the fashion of the day, one of the most eloquent of all our +readings. + +As I was a favorite of the doctor in the last year of my course and +for years after, and as no one has ever in my estimation done him +justice, it is to me a debt of gratitude, as well as a matter of +justice, to repair as best I may this neglect. No one but a pupil +could ever have fairly estimated his force of character, and no pupil +whose intercourse with him was not carried into the post-graduate +years could measure the ability with which he advised, especially in +political matters, with his old pupils. In the days of his activity, +no institution in the country furnished so large an element to the +practical statesmanship of the United States as did Union. Seward +was one of his favorite pupils, and it is well known that, up to the +period of the American Civil War, he never took a step in politics +without the advice of the doctor. Having had a struggle with poverty +in his own early life, Dr. Nott sympathized heartily with the poorer +students, and a practical education was more easily gained at Union +than was then possible at Yale or Harvard. Men were allowed to defer +payment of the fees till later life when their means had increased; +and, though there were no scholarships, there were many students whose +burdens were so far alleviated by the regulations that an earnest man +who was determined to take his degree and work his way if he must, +needed never leave college unsatisfied. + +The doctor's reading of character and detective powers were barely +short of the miraculous, and his management of refractory students +became so well known that many who had been expelled from the other +universities were sent to Union and graduated with credit, so that the +college acquired the nickname of "Botany Bay." There came to him once +for admission a student expelled from Yale for persistent violation +of the regulations, and naturally without the letter which by general +usage was required from the president of one university to another, +certifying the good standing of the student. The president of Yale +wrote to the doctor to ask "if he meant to take that scoundrel into +his college." The doctor, who had made a rapid examination of the man, +replied, "Yes, and make a man of him." In one of my post-graduate +years, when I was staying with the doctor, he told me the story of +this man. He had estimated his character at a glance correctly, and +saw in him a mismanaged student. He was admitted unconditionally, +as if he had come with the best of characters, and for a time he +justified the confidence reposed in him. But the uneasy nature one +day broke out, and he committed a gross violation of the rules. The +discipline of the doctor began always with a friendly conversation, +and with some men ended with it, for he knew so well how to paint the +consequences of expulsion that it sufficed; but on the entry of this +student into his library, he saw on looking at him that he "had the +devil in his eye." He had, in fact, said to his roommate on getting +the summons to the interview, "If the doctor thinks he is going to +break me in he'll find himself mistaken." The doctor had a curious +kind of vision which made it impossible to say which of the persons in +the room he was looking at, and when, while seeming to be engaged on +his book, he had looked into the eyes of the student, and saw that the +light of battle was kindled in them, he waited for a little, and then, +as if preoccupied, said to him in his most kindly tone, "I am very +much occupied at this moment, my son; won't you come in to-morrow +evening?" The young man went back to his room already half conquered +by the affectionate manner, but the important point gained in the +doctor's tactics was that the psychological moment of combat in the +student had been reached and could not be kept up for a day, and when +on the next evening the interview took place, his combativeness had +given place to perplexity and complete demoralization. In this state +the doctor gave him a paternal lesson on the consequences to his +future life of the rebellion against necessary discipline and of +persistent disorderly conduct, but without any actual reproof or +mention of his offense, and all in his invariably kindly tone as if it +were a talk on generalities, and then dismissed him to think it over. +He had established cordial relations with the rebel, and from that day +had no trouble with him, and he graduated at the head of his class. + +And the doctor understood men so well that he never wasted his trouble +on those who had nothing in them, but let them drift through the +course unnoted. Expulsions were very rare, and the secret police of +the university was so competent that the almost absolute certainty of +detection generally deterred the men from serious infractions of the +rules. The government seemed to be based on the policy of giving an +earnest man all the advantages to be got out of the institution, and +getting the indifferent through the course with the least discredit. +In a state of society in which the collegiate standing was of +importance to a man's career, this condition of things would have been +a grave objection to the college, but in our western world the degree +had very little importance, and the honors no effect on the future +position. Most of the prominent men of our past had not even been +through any university, and in politics it was often rather an +obstacle than a recommendation that a man was a "college man." What +the doctor tried to do, then, was to make a man when he found the +material for one, and to ignore the futile intellects. This was the +scheme of the education at Union when I was there, and it rarely +failed to find the best men in the class and bring them forward. + +Our college life may have been to the men of sufficient means more +largely supplied with the elements of excitement, but for the poorer +students there was little romance in it. Now and then a demonstration +against an unpopular professor, a "bolt," i.e. abstention _en masse_ +from a recitation; or a rarer invasion of the town and hostile +demonstration gave us a fillip, but the doctor had so well policed the +college and so completely brought under his moral influence the town, +that no serious row ever took place in my time. Later he told me how +he managed one of the worst early conflicts, in which the students on +one side of the college road, and the town boys on the other, were +arrayed in battle order, determined to fight out the question who were +the better men. The doctor had early notice of the imminent row, and, +fetching a circuit behind the "town," encouraged the boys on that side +with assurances of his impartiality and even his satisfaction with a +little punishment of the students, if they were aggressive. "But," +said he, "don't begin the fight and put yourselves in the wrong. If my +boys come over, thrash them well, but let them strike the first blow." +Having put them in the strongest defensive attitude, believing that +they had the doctor with them, he went round to the students and +applied the same inducements to the defensive, leaving them under the +persuasion that he entirely approved their fighting, and then he went +home and left them to their conclusions. As time passed and neither +took the offensive, they all cooled off and went home. + +The tact with which he dealt with the occasional outbreaks in the +college was very interesting. If it was a case of wanton defiance of +the habitual order, there was a very slight probability of its being +overlooked. A favorite prank of the stealing of the college bell was +invariably punished, first by having a hand-bell rung a little earlier +than regulation hours all through the sections; and, when his secret +police had discovered the offenders, they were punished according to +custom, never very severely, but sufficiently so to make them feel +humiliated. But the mystery of his police was never explained, and +we were always at a loss to conjecture how he discovered the most +elaborately concealed combinations, so that suddenly, even weeks +after, when the culprits thought they had finally escaped detection, +he would announce at prayers that they were to come to his study to +explain. If the outbreak, however, had been in any way justified by +an arbitrary or unwise act of discipline by any of the professors, he +used to ignore it altogether. + +The professor of mensuration, a fussy and consequential little fellow, +a volunteer on the staff, and a man of singularly slight knowledge +of young men, very fond of showing his authority, especially at the +public examinations at the end of the term, had incurred the wrath +of the class and become the butt of all its practical jokes. Having +boasted one evening in society of the town that the students dared +not rebel against him, and the boast coming to their knowledge, not a +single student presented himself at the recitation next morning. The +next day he was greeted with such disorder that it was necessary to +suspend the exercises, and one of the most violent demonstrators +finished by throwing a huge wooden spoon at him, which, hitting him on +the head, ended the row. His public examinations were the most severe +we had to go through, and often quite needlessly so, in order to +impress the visitors with his own knowledge rather than with ours, +and as the end of a term drew near, I think in my last junior term, +a conspiracy was got up to put him _hors de combat_ for that +examination. It was decided to take him out of his room in the section +(he was section officer in my own section) and bring him into the +pine woods in the rear of the college, and there, unless he solemnly +promised to stay away from his class examination, to cut off his hair +and tar his head first, then crop his beard, and, if he was still +refractory, to strip him (it was midsummer) and tie him to a tree +and leave him all night, under the conviction that he would not show +himself at examination after that experience. + +In the small hours, the conspirators, provided with a duplicate key to +the professor's door, made a stealthy attempt to open it, but found +his key on the inside and were unable to open the door, but woke the +victim, who, however, dared not raise an alarm. One of the smaller +students tried to climb in through the ventilator, but this was nailed +down, and then as a last resort the "smoking machine" was brought into +action. This was an "infernal machine," employed in hazing students +who had in any way offended the opinion of the class, especially by +indecorous subservience to the authorities or informing against their +fellow students. The latter was a rare offense and never pardoned. +The smoking machine consisted of a short length of stove-pipe with a +nozzle at each end, into one of which was introduced a bellows, and +the other was put through the keyhole of the door of the offender. In +the body of the pipe was a bed of lighted charcoal, and on this was +sprinkled tobacco and assafoetida, and the smoke was driven into the +room in such quantities that no human being could resist it more than +a few minutes. The smoking was continued for ten minutes, when, as the +professor did not surrender, it began to be feared that the joke had +gone too far, and two of the conspirators went out to see if there +were any external signs of vitality, and found that the victim had +opened his window and was lying with his head below the window-sill so +as to be out of the smoke which poured out over him. I suppose that +the delegates were drunk, for one of them threw a block of wood at +the professor's head which, missing him, drove in the window pane and +finished the experiment. + +It was the gravest outrage of my time, and had there not been so large +a part of the senior class implicated in the conspiracy, directly or +indirectly, there is no doubt that the doctor would have taken the +most severe measures for the punishment of those concerned. No partial +punishment would have been possible, and the general irritation +against that particular professor was so great in the class, and +his course had been so little in conformity with the usages of the +college, that the doctor thought best to ignore the affair completely. +The professor was completely cowed, and we had no more browbeating +from him. But the practical jokes played on him were never attempted +with any other member of the faculty, all of them having been trained +in the doctor's own school. Except possibly the oldest of them, +all were graduates at Union under him; and his system of elastic, +unceasing pressure, constant and unobtrusive surveillance, and simple +appeals to the students' higher interests and manly feeling were so +generally potent in the government of the college that the petty +tyranny of the mensuration professor, nicknamed "Geodesy," found no +support in the faculty, though the same elastic system which threw the +responsibility of final results on the individual left him the same +freedom of action which it gave us, and he had to learn his lesson +while he taught us ours. + +The students mostly joined one or other of a large number of secret +societies, mainly social and never scholastic, which had, almost +without exception, originated at Union, spreading to other +universities by migration or initiation of their members. The +distinction most sought for by ambitious students, the marshalship +of the "commencement" ceremonies,--i.e. the conferring of degrees, +speech-making, etc., of the graduating class,--was an elective office +and voted for by all the members of the class, so that, for this +position of a day, scholarship was only of secondary importance, the +personal popularity of the candidates determining the election. The +societies grouped themselves in two parties, the most popular man in +each party was its candidate, and the canvassing ran more or less +actively through the senior year, occupying largely the attention of +the students. These societies were in general boyish imitations of the +Freemasons, though the most eminent, the Phi Beta Kappa, was an old +and dignified institution, having been founded in 1776, at William and +Mary College, whence it soon spread to Harvard and Yale, eventually +establishing itself in most of the principal colleges of the country; +at Union, under the control of the faculty, it became the high +literary distinction of the class, only the third of the class with +the highest collective record being admitted at graduation. Each of +the societies had its secrets, its secret meetings, its grip and +passwords, and it always seemed to me, though I was early initiated +into one which had a distinguished record and literary reputation, +that it was a folly and a waste of the energies of the students. +Opposed to them all was an anti-secret society, and this, like the +others, was known by the initials of the secret name, which was +supposed to be Greek and to indicate, mysteriously, the character of +the society. Students at the earliest date, generally in the first +weeks of attendance, were thoroughly canvassed by the members of these +societies, and invited, in accordance with their characters, to enter +one or the other, those of a studious tendency finding most favor with +that to which I was invited, and which consisted mostly of poor and +studious men, others according to their social standing or wealth, or +even their tendency to a wild life. + +Besides this we had a house of representatives for the juniors and +a senate for the seniors, over which two of the senior professors +presided, knowing the rules of the respective branches of Congress, +and requiring their observance in the debates, which echoed the grave +political questions of the day. There was no lecturing system, and +there was no such thing known as coaching; and the recitations +consisted, like those in the juvenile schools, in answering questions +taken from the lesson in standard textbooks, and called out no special +abilities in the students which could distinguish the men of mark from +the merest bookworms. There were men who never read the lesson and +depended on being prompted by a friend. One of these derelicts, the +son of a famous brewer, gave us a laugh which no member of the class +can have forgotten. He was known for drinking enormous quantities of +his father's beer and sleeping even in class; and when the question +put him was, "Who was the reputed inventor of poetry amongst the +Greeks?" he had no answer till the man behind him whispered, +"Orpheus." He caught it badly, and roared, "Morpheus." The laugh that +followed stopped recitation for ten minutes. A laugh in a large class +had a curious way of going on indefinitely. + +Until we reached the senior year, and came under the direct care of +the old doctor, there was nothing in the course to awaken special +ambitions. The honors, determined chiefly by the marks given at the +end of the term, being mainly the reward of a diligence rather stupid +than otherwise, as a rule were regarded with great indifference, and, +for the most part, fell to the men who "poled" most assiduously, and +got the best marks for attention, diligence, and correct recitation of +the set tasks. As I look back on the life and work of that period, it +seems to me that it was most unintelligently spent, and when I reached +my senior year, and came under the direct stimulus of Dr. Nott, I +recognized that, so far as the true education was concerned, I had +wasted two years, and had I been master of my future I should have +been inclined to go back to the beginning and repeat the three years' +course of study under the new light, and with a recognition of the +purpose of higher study, for I saw that all that I had gained was +little more than parrot learning. The doctor indeed tried to make us +think, and he used to say that the textbook was a matter of entire +indifference, and that he would as soon have a book of riddles as +Kames's "Elements of Criticism," so long as he could make us think out +our conclusions. With him our recitations were a perpetual contest +of our wits against his; he showed us the shallowness of our +acquisitions, and dissected mercilessly both textbook and the +responses to the questions which he had drawn from it, admitting +nothing and pushing the pupil perpetually into the deeper water as +soon as he began to think his foot had touched firm land. The first +term under the doctor brought up every intellectual faculty I +possessed, and I suppose it was to this intense appreciation of his +leading that I owed his friendship and partiality in the following +years. So far as the influence of school can go, I owe to him the best +of my education, and especially the perception of the meaning of the +word itself. In the senior year I turned back in my life and sought +not to hasten, but to linger in the precincts of study, and the +imperious necessity of getting to the only occupation which would give +me the independence I desired, alone deterred me from a post-graduate +course of study to compensate for the inadequacy of the past years. + +In entering the church, Dr. Nott had deprived the world of a statesman +of no ordinary calibre, but in the eyes of the Protestant, as of the +Catholic Church, in the country which had its precedents to make, as +in that which had precedents a thousand years old, the maxim, "once a +priest always a priest," kept him in the pulpit, to which he had no +irresistible call, and to which the accident of his career only had +led him. Had the church to which he belonged been organized with an +episcopal government, he had certainly been its primate; but in the +vague and incoherent condition of the Congregational churches, to one +of which he belonged, there was no career beyond that of the isolated +pastorate of a single congregation. In this insufficiency of interest +for an active and influential life there was only the educational +calling left to satisfy his enormous mental activity, and in this +he found his place. The future, which may look for his record in +libraries, or in the results of research, scientific or literary, will +not find him to occupy a position. He had, however, great mechanical +inventive powers, as well as a marvelous knowledge of human nature; +the former solved the problem, amongst others, of anthracite coal +combustion for American steamers. In the latter lay his qualifications +as the greatest teacher of young men of his generation. + +Nobody could know him except the pupils to whom he disclosed himself, +and to whom his kindly and magnanimous nature was unreservedly open, +and they were few, and the list is fast being canceled; when we are +gone, no one will ever comprehend how he could have been what he +was. But the power he always exercised over his favorite boys was +extraordinary; any of us would have done anything permitted to human +nature to satisfy his wish. An instance of his influence, occurring +later in my life, will illustrate his power over his old pupils. When, +several years subsequent to my graduation, and on the election of +Lincoln as President, I had used what influence I could enlist with +the government (my brother being a prominent Republican) to get the +appointment as consul to Venice, which was generally given to an +artist, the principal petition in my favor went from Cambridge. It +was written by Judge Gray (now on the Supreme Court bench), headed by +Agassiz and signed by nearly every eminent literary or scientific man +in Cambridge, but it lay at the Department of State more than six +months, unnoticed. In the interim the war broke out and I had gone +home from Paris, where I was then living, to volunteer in the army; +but, being excluded by the medical requirements, and the ranks being +full,--800,000 volunteers being then enrolled,--I turned to my project +for Venice, and wrote a word to Dr. Nott, recalling his promise of +years before to use his influence in my favor, if ever it were needed. +He inclosed my letter, with one containing an indorsement of it, and +sent it to Seward, the Secretary of State, and the appointment--not +to Venice, which had just been given to Howells, but to Rome--came by +return of post. + +Union was then the only university of importance not under some form +of denominational control, and for this reason had, perhaps, more than +the usual share of extreme liberalism, or atheism, as it was at that +time considered amongst the students; and one of my classmates, a man +a couple of years older than myself, and of far more than the average +intellectual power, made an active propaganda of the most advanced +opinions. He also introduced Philip James Bailey's "Festus" to our +attention, and for a time I was carried away by both. The great +revulsion from my previous straitened theological convictions was the +cause of infinite perplexity and distress. Up to that time nothing +had ever shaken me in my orthodox persuasions, and the necessity of +concealing from my mother and family my doubts and halting faith in +the old ideas made it all the more perplexing. I had to fight out +the question all alone. It was impossible to follow my classmate so +completely as to accept his conclusions and become the materialist +that he was, and so find a relative repose; and the conflict became +very grave. The entire scheme of Christianity disappeared from my +firmament; but, in the immediately previous years, I had been a reader +of Swedenborg, and I held immovably an intuition of immortality,--or, +if the term intuition be denied me, the conviction that immortality +was the foundation of human existence, grounded in my earliest +thoughts, and as clear as the sense of light,--and this never failed +me. In this respect Swedenborg helped my reason in its struggle, +though I could never see my way to the entire acceptance of his +doctrine. + +My dogmatic theological education had been entirely incidental, for my +mother never discussed dogmas or doctrines, but the simple duties and +promises of religion, and my intelligence had never been, therefore, +so kept captive as to make release grateful. Christianity had never +been a doctrinal burden to me, or any form of belief inconsistent in +my mind with true Christianity. In my mother's thought there was only +one thing utterly profane, and that was self-righteousness. And there +happened to me in this conjuncture, what has in my later life been +often seen, that the modification of religious views imposed on us by +the superior force of another mind--a persuasion of what seems to be +truth as it is only seen by others' vision--could not hold its own +against the early convictions, and that a revulsion to the old faith +was sooner or later inevitable and generally healthy. The epidemic +passed, and, though it gave me great distress for the time, it made my +essential religious convictions stronger in the end. It is, I think, +Max Mueller who says that no man can escape from the environment of his +early religious education. I have seen, in my experience of life and +men, many curious proofs of that law, men who have lived for many +years in the most absolute rejection of all religions, returning in +their old age to the simple faith of childhood, ending as they began. +The change of religious convictions which holds its own against all +influences is that which comes from the healthy evolution of our own +thought. At any rate, in my own case, the rationalistic revolution +completed its circle and brought me back to that simple faith to +remain in which is a reproach to no man, and the departure from which, +to be healthy, must be made on lines conformed to our better natures. +I felt the better for my excursion into new regions, and the freedom +of movement I acquired I never lost. + +As I am telling the story of a phase of human life in which the study +of the religious character will be to some readers, perhaps, one of +the chief subjects of interest, and as to me the whole subject is now +purely objective, as a mental phenomenon in the life of another man +would be, I am tempted to tell a romantic incident of this period of +my evolution, because it illustrates clearly the state of mind and +sentiment developed by the peculiar education and surroundings of my +youth. In one of the winter vacations of my course, my brother Paul, +who was an ardent and sanguine proselyter in the Seventh-Day doctrine, +charged me with an expedition up the Mohawk valley as a colporteur, +to distribute Sabbath tracts, and, occasion arising, to discuss, with +those who offered, the doctrine involved. The snow was deep, and, +wading in it from house to house in all the towns as far as Utica, I +finished with a visit to the home at Whitestown, near by, of my old +friend the former preceptress of the De Ruyter Academy, with whom I +had always been a favorite, and who had taught me French (very little) +and drawing (very little more), but who was a charming and poetical +creature. I had not heard of her for years, and the latest news +was that she had become insane through a cruel disappointment in +love,--her lover having wantonly, and without offering a pretext, +broken off the engagement just before the wedding day,--and had been +sent to a lunatic asylum. I found her at home, a wretched shadow of +her old self, listless, and in a settled melancholy, which the doctors +said was incurable. She had in fact been discharged from the asylum +as a hopeless lunatic, though the violent phase of the insanity had +passed. It occurred to me that a diversion to old times would awaken +her again to a sense of the present, and I tried to draw her back to +the academy life by talking of it as if nothing had happened. That +something unwonted was passing in her mind soon became evident, and +finally she burst out with, "Why, Willie" (she had always so called me +in the old times), "didn't you know I had been crazy?" The manner, the +suddenness of the conflict between old associations and her present +state, the mingling of our old affection, for I had in my boyhood held +her very dear, as she had me, so overpowered me that I burst into +tears, and she threw her arms around me and kissed me again and again. +What the feeling which sprang up on her part was I could never quite +understand,--doubtless it was partly the delight of a sudden relief +from the old, monotonous pain, the unexpected unbending of a tense +and overborne mind and momentary obliteration of the dreary immediate +past, and partly the outburst of a passionate temperament which I had +never suspected; but on my part there arose an attachment as chivalric +as ever a knight of Arthur's time felt, yet perfectly platonic. That +she was nearly old enough to have been my mother did not in the least +matter--it was no question of love as young folks feel it; but in my +heart I offered myself a bearer of her sorrows. I had only recently +recovered from my wandering into the wilderness of doubt, and my +religious faith was as vivid as when I had been at my mother's +knee--Providence ruled, and God answered prayer. This phase of my +life, juvenile as I now perceive it to be, I respect as the most +honest in it. I honor the weakness as I cannot always what seems the +later strength. Those who read my life may put the estimate on it +which suits their creed; I only speak of it as a phenomenon of my +Puritan youth. I prayed earnestly that I might take on myself her +afflictions, if so she might be healed and come back to her right +mind. That was Friday night, for her family were "Seventh-Day +keepers," and I had gone to pass the Sabbath with them, so I stayed +two days, continuing my devotions earnestly. On Monday I went back +to my colportage, but that night I was taken with a sharp attack of +bronchitis, with high fever, and obliged to keep my room at the hotel. +The next day, finding the matter serious, I sallied out and returned +to the house of her parents, and remained there while the attack +lasted. A naturally strong constitution was my safety, and made light +of what was really a sharp attack of acute trouble, which kept me in +the house a considerable time, the care and happy charge of my friend. + +What any physician of minds would have foreseen took place. She found +in the attention to her patient the diversion from all the train of +past preoccupations, and forgot in this absolutely novel situation +the old trouble. To the delight of the family she began to take an +interest in the affairs of the house, and, though for years she had +utterly neglected the most trivial attention to her dress and personal +appearance, and had shown such a determinedly suicidal disposition +that her mother had been obliged to sleep in the same bed with her to +be able to watch her effectively, she now became bright and cheerful +and seemed her old self again. From that time forward she rapidly +recovered, and when I went back to college we began a close +correspondence which was the beginning of my real literary education, +for her taste in literature was excellent, if a little sentimental, +and her criticisms were so sound that in some respects they have never +lost their effect on my way of thinking and expressing thought. She +was persuaded to come to Schenectady and pass the period of my next +vacation in our family. Her insanity absolutely disappeared, she +returned to healthy activity in her old vocation as teacher, and the +year after, to my great annoyance, married her former fiance. I was +angry with her, not for marrying, but for marrying him after his +shameful treatment of her. She seemed to me, and to her family also, +to have thrown herself away on a man who had proved himself utterly +unworthy any woman's devotion. All my chivalry, too, seemed wasted, +and the only result of the experiment was the dissipation of an ideal, +the naive expectation of the vicarious penalty to which I had in my +sincerity offered myself having passed away. Convinced, that I had +cured her, I was indignant at having cured her for him, but I suffered +no visitation of contempt for women, and my indignation was the +deepest feeling that remained from the experience, except the +literary impulse born of the persistent effort to interest her in my +correspondence and the consequent search for material for letters in +the details of college life and the nature around us; and the habit +of noticing and memorizing what might be of interest to others in the +most trivial incidents of life never quite left me. I became a profuse +letter-writer from inclination, and, though all the letters of +that part of my life and for years after were recalled and burnt +scrupulously, I am convinced that what literary ability I possess is +in a great degree owing to the impulse I received in that romantic +attachment. + +What was, perhaps, more important, was that the vicarious offering of +myself, made in my morbid enthusiasm, and the commonplace result of +it, hastened the end of that phase of my religious experience. It was +only because my boyhood had been frozen up in those seven years of +apathy and began to thaw out in later years, when manhood should +have been taking the reins, that all that passage of childhood and +unsophisticated devotion intruded in the wrong place, to fill up the +void in the formation. My religious status, as well as my conception +of life, were only advanced to where they should have been at an +earlier period. + +Atheism was at that time beginning to work strongly among the +students, and in opposition to it there began an antagonistic +evangelical movement, with prayer-meetings amongst those religiously +inclined. In my class, at this time, were several who became in after +life eminent in clerical activity, and amongst them were the brothers +Nevius, distinguished in the missionary service in the far East. I had +no liking for the prayer-meetings of the students, but I joined the +movement for holding religious services in the city almshouse, a +primitive institution which had no chaplain, and where were sent not +only the incurably poor and the incurably sick, but the idiots and +half-witted, as well as the temporarily incapacitated poor, who would +have been, in a better and more complete social organization, sent to +a hospital, which did not exist in Schenectady. With several other +students and two or three young ladies of the city we held services at +the "poorhouse" every Sunday. Short exhortations with prayers and the +singing of hymns composed the service, and I remember that one day, in +giving out a hymn in long metre, I started it to a short metre tune, +and had to go through it alone, the ladies whose business was the +musical part of the service not being able to accommodate their +measure to my leading. I made my solo as short as possible, and +finished with the ill-suppressed giggling of the girls, but my +audience of poor cripples and weak-minded were equally impressed. + +No doubt the struggles with Festus and my atheistic friend, and the +partial influence of the ambient, the sincere piety of the old doctor, +which dominated the life of the college, helped to strengthen the +reaffirmation of my orthodox Christianity, and, for several years +after, I had no more question of the divine authority of the tenets of +our church, including the Seventh Day Sabbath, than I had of the laws +of nature; but the truly spiritual character of my mother's religion +saved me from becoming a bigot. If I had been trained in the dogmas of +Christianity, I have no doubt I should have then become an atheist. +Nor was I a prig. I must confess that I enjoyed the occasional larks +in which my classmates sometimes led and sometimes followed me, as +well as any of them. Our Greek professor, Doctor R., was a bit of a +snob, and the plebeians of the class, much the largest part, always +held him in ill will; and as his garden bordered on our section, and +his fowls roosted in the trees overhanging the green, we one day +decided to mulct him in a supper. That night a party of the students +of the section scaled the fence (I well remember tearing my trousers +in climbing it) and wrung the necks of four of his fowls, which we +sent into town next morning to be roasted, and which, accompanied +by sundry mince-pies and a huge bowl of eggnog, made us a luxurious +supper next midnight, the fragments being carefully--bones and bits of +pie-crusts included--deposited at the professor's front door before +daylight of next day, which happened to be Sunday. The package, +carefully made up and directed like an express parcel, was addressed +to him in all the fullness of formality, but it had rained in the +interval, and when in the morning the servant took it up, on opening +the door, the wet paper broke and the remnants of the feast bestrewed +the doorway. The boy afterwards told me that the profanity of the +professor was terrible to hear, and as he cut me two in my report of +the Greek that term, I always suspected that he comprised me in the +execration. As it happened the cut was undeserved, for there were few +men in the class who did their Greek better than I, and the cut cost +me the Phi Beta Kappa, which went to all the class whose aggregate +marks made an average per term of 981/2, mine being 981/4. But as he +always held me in disrespect on account of my father's occupation, and +as assiduously paid court and gave good reports to the sons of wealthy +men, there was a mutual aversion. He gave _max_. that term to the son +of a famous quack doctor, who always came to me to be crammed for the +recitation, while I got 98. Naturally we had little respect for the +marking. + +Of my college course, I retained only what held my sympathies. I never +went in for honors, or occupied myself beyond the required measure +with studies which did not _per se_ interest me. Greek and Latin, but +especially physics, the humanities, and literature enlisted all my +ambitions, and the little weekly paper which was read at the meetings +of our secret society occupied me more than was in due measure +perhaps. I took my degree of course, but not with distinction. The +majority of the family having, prior to my graduation, gathered at or +near New York city, my father and mother, having attained their +object in remaining in Schenectady, moved to New York, and I, finally +liberated for the study of art, gave myself seriously to that end. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +ART STUDY IN AMERICA + + +During the time of my preparation for entry to college, a wandering +artist had happened to find his way to Schenectady, one of the +restless victims of his temperament, to whose unrest fate had given +other motives for change than his occupation. He was an Englishman by +the name of John Wilson, a pupil of the brothers Alfred and Edward +Chalons, fashionable London miniature painters of the early part of +the century. In years long gone by he had established himself at +St. Petersburg as a portrait painter, but, losing his wife and two +children by a flood of the Neva, which occurred during his momentary +absence in England, he abandoned Russia and went to one of the Western +States of America and gave himself up to agriculture. Here fate found +him again, and, after losing another wife and other children, he +became a wanderer, interested in everything new and strange. He had +been taken by Pitman's then new phonography, and his chief occupation +at that time was teaching it wherever at any school he could form a +class. He came to Union College, to this end, and had been recommended +to my mother for board and lodging, and she gladly availed herself of +the opportunity to get for me lessons in drawing in return for his +board. He was a constitutional reformer, a radical as radicalism was +then possible, had become an atheist with Robert Dale Owen, indignant +at the treatment accorded him by destiny, and was _au fond_ an honest +and philanthropic man. He taught me the simplest rudiments of portrait +and landscape in water-color, and of perspective, of which he was +master, and, as he failed to find a field for his phonographic +mission, I got up a small class in drawing for him, and after our +dozen lessons he went his way to new regions and I never heard from +him again. What he taught me I soon lost, except the perspective. + +A little later, and while at work in my father's shop, there came in +for a piece of ironwork our local artist, a man of curious artistic +faculties, a shoemaker by trade, who had taught himself painting and +had made himself a certain position as the portrait painter of the +region. He desired to make for himself a lay-figure, and for the +articulations had conceived a new form of universal joint, which he +desired my father to put into shape. My father refused the job, as out +of the line of his work, and I volunteered to take it, stipulating for +some instruction in painting in return. The joint did not answer +when worked out, but the friendship between Sexton and myself lasted +through his life, and a truer example of the artistic nature never +came under my study. All that he knew of painting he got from books, +save for an annual visit to the exhibition of the American Academy at +New York, but his conception of the nature of art was very lofty and +correct, and had his education been in keeping with his natural gifts, +he would have taken a high position as a painter. His was one of the +most pathetic lives I can recall--a fine sensitive nature, full of the +enthusiasms of the outer world, with rare gifts in the embryonic state +and mental powers far above the average, limited in every direction, +in facilities, in education in art and in letters, and having his lot +cast in a community where, except the wife of President Nott, there +was not a single person who was capable of giving him sympathy or +artistic appreciation. Not least in the pathos of his situation was +the simplicity and humility with which he accepted himself, with +his whole nature yearning towards an ideal which he knew to be as +unattainable as the stars, without impatience or bitterness towards +men or fate. If he was not content with what was given him, no one +could see it, and he was so filled with the happiness that nature and +his limited art gave him that he had no room for discontent at the +limitations. + +Happy days were those in which my leisure gave me the opportunity to +share this man's walks and make my crude sketches of his favorite +nooks and bends of our beautiful river Mohawk, and listen to his +experiences while he worked. I can see now that it was more nature +than art that evoked my enthusiasms, and that in art I felt mainly the +expression of the love of the beauty of nature. Sexton gave me some +idea of the use of oils, and from that time most of my leisure hours +and my vacant days were given to painting in an otherwise untaught +manner, copying such pictures as I could borrow, or translating +engravings into color--wretched things most certainly, but to me then, +with my crude enthusiasm, productive of greater pleasure than the +better productions of later years. + +The three years of my college course had left me little room or +leisure for such studies, and at the end of them I realized that so +far as the object I had set before me was concerned, I had wasted the +years and blunted the edge of my enthusiasms. In preparation for +the career which I proposed to myself I had, however, been in +correspondence with Thomas Cole, then the leading painter of landscape +in America, and an artist to this day unrivaled in certain poetic and +imaginative gifts by any American painter. He was a curious result +of the influence of the old masters on a strongly individual English +mind, inclined to nature worship, born in England in the epoch of the +poetic English school to which Girtin, Turner, and their colleagues +belonged, and migrating to America in boyhood, early enough to become +impressed by the influence of primitive nature as a subject of art. +Self-taught in technique and isolated in his development, he became +inevitably devoted to the element of subject rather than to technical +attainment, and in the purely literary quality of art he has perhaps +been surpassed by no landscape painter of any time. His indifference +to technical qualities has left him in neglect at present, but in the +influence he had on American art, and for his part in the history of +it, he remains an important individuality now much underrated. It was +settled that I should become his pupil in the winter following my +graduation, but a few months before that he died. + +At that moment there was not in the United States a single school of +art, and except Cole, who had one or two pupils when he died, there +was no competent landscape painter who accepted pupils, nor perhaps +one who was capable of teaching. Drawing masters there were here and +there, mostly in the conventional style adapted to the seminaries for +young ladies. Inman, the leading portrait painter of the day, had +taken pupils, but his powers did not extend to the treatment of +landscape, and my sympathies did not go beyond it. I applied to A.B. +Durand, then the president of our Academy, the only rival of Cole, +though in a purely naturalistic vein, and a painter of real power in +a manner quite his own, which borrowed, however, more from the Dutch +than from the Italian feeling, to which Cole inclined. Durand was +originally an engraver of the first order, and afterwards a portrait +painter, but his careful painting from nature and a sunny serenity in +his rendering of her marked him, even in the absence of imaginative +feeling, as a specialist in landscape, to which he later gave himself +entirely. His was a serene and beautiful nature, perfectly reflected +in his art, and he first showed American artists what could be done +by faithful and unaffected direct study of nature in large studies +carefully finished on the spot, though never carried to the +elaboration of later and younger painters. But he was so restrained by +an excess of humility as to his own work, and so justly diffident of +his knowledge of technique, that he could not bring himself to accept +a pupil, and I finally applied to F.E. Church, a young painter, pupil +of Cole, and for many years after the leading landscape painter of the +country. He was then in his first success, and I was his first pupil. + +Church in many respects was the most remarkable painter of the +phenomena of nature I have ever known, and had he been trained in a +school of wider scope, he might have taken a place amongst the great +individualities of his art. But he had little imagination, and his +technical training had not emancipated him from an exaggerated +insistence on detail, which so completely controlled his treatment of +his subject that breadth and repose were entirely lost sight of. A +graceful composition, and most happy command of all the actual effects +of the landscape which he had seen, were his highest qualities; +his retention of the minutest details of the generic or specific +characteristics of tree, rock, or cloud was unsurpassed by the work +of any landscape painter whose work I know, and everything he knew he +rendered with a rapidity and precision which were simply inconceivable +by one who had not seen him at work. I think that his vision and +retention of even the most transitory facts of nature passing before +him must have been at the maximum of which the human mind is capable, +but he had no comprehension of the higher and broader qualities of +art. His mind seemed a camera obscura in which everything that passed +before it was recorded permanently, but he added in the rendering of +its record nothing which sprang from human emotion, or which involved +that remoulding of the perception that makes it conception, and +individual. The primrose on the river's brim he saw with a vision +as clear as that of a photographic lens, but it remained to him a +primrose and nothing more to the end. All that he did or could do was +the recording, form and color, of what had flitted past his eyes, +with unsurpassed fidelity of memory; but it left one as cold as the +painting of an iceberg. His recognition of art as distinguished from +nature was far too rudimentary to fit him for a teacher, for his love +of facts and detail blinded him to every other aspect of our relations +with nature, in the recognition of which consist the highest gifts of +the artist. + +My study with Church lasted one winter, and showed me that nothing +was to be hoped for from him, and that the most intimate superficial +acquaintance with nature did not involve the perception of her more +intimate relation with art. I learned from him nothing that was worth +remembering, but I made acquaintance with a young portrait painter, +who had a studio in the same building, an Irishman named Boyle, a +pupil of Inman, whose ideas of art were of a far higher order, and to +my intercourse with him during that winter and the following summer, +which we spent together sketching in the valley of the Mohawk, I +owe the first clear ideas of what lay before me in artist life. At +Church's studio I met Edgar A. Poe, a slender, nervous, vivacious, +and extremely refined personage. But at that juncture I came across +"Modern Painters," and, like many others, wiser or otherwise, I +received from it a stimulus to nature worship, to which I was already +too much inclined, which made ineffaceable the confusion in my mind +between nature and art. Another acquaintance I made that winter was +of great importance in developing my technical abilities--that of a +well-known amateur of New York, afterwards a professional artist, Dr. +Edward Ruggles, a physician whose love of painting finally drove him +out of medicine. He had the most catholic and correct taste I had +then met, and he introduced me to William Page, the most remarkable +portrait painter in many respects America has ever produced, whose +talks on art used to make me sleepless with enthusiasm. Page was the +most brilliant talker I ever met, and a dear friend of Lowell. + +Returning to Schenectady the following summer, I made my first direct +and thorough studies from nature, and amongst these was one, a view +from my window across gardens and a churchyard with the church spire +in the distance; a small study which incidentally had a most potent +effect on all my later life. It was bought in the autumn by the Art +Union of New York, and on the proceeds, thirty dollars, the first +considerable sum of money I had ever earned, I decided to go to Europe +and see what the English painters were doing. Of English art I +then knew only directly the pictures of Doughty, an early artistic +immigrant from England, and, as afterwards appeared to me, a fair +example of the school which had its lead from Constable, to whom he +had, however, no resemblance except in choice of motive. He had a +comprehension of technique possessed by none of our home painters--a +rapid and masterly execution with a scale of color limited to cool +grays, but, within this gamut, of exquisite refinement. Constant +repetitions of the same motive wore out his welcome on the part of the +American public, but his pictures had a charm which was long in losing +its power over me, and had an influence in determining me to go to +England at the first opportunity. But to see Turner's pictures was +always the chief motive, and was the one which decided me to go. + +I was, in knowledge of worldly life, scarcely less a child then than +I had been when, at the age of ten, I determined to go out into the +world and make my own career, free from the obstacles I imagined to +be preventing me from following my ideals. The ever-present feeling +developed in me by the religious training of my mother, that an +overruling Providence had my life in keeping, made me quite oblivious +of or indifferent to the chances of disaster, for the assurance of +protection and leading to the best end left no place for anxieties. It +was a mental phenomenon which I now look back on with a wonder which +I think most sane people will share, that, at the age when most boys +have become men, for I graduated at twenty, I should have been capable +of going out into a strange world like one of the children of the +Children's Crusade, with an unfaltering faith that I should be led +and cared for by Providence as I had been by my parents. I had no +apprehension, from the moment that one of the ship-owners who was in +business relations with my elder brother offered me a free passage +on one of his sailing ships to Liverpool, that I should not find a +similar bridge back again; and with my thirty dollars changed into six +sovereigns, and a little valise with only a change of clothes, I went +on board the Garrick, a packet of the Black Ball line, sailing in the +last days of December, 1849. There had been a thaw and the Hudson +River was full of floating ice, which in the ebbing of the tide +endangered the shipping lying out in the stream, and the captain made +such haste to get out of the danger (the extent of which was shown by +the topmasts of an Austrian brig, showing above water where she had +been sunk by the floating ice) that the ship had her anchor apeak +before the boat which carried my brother and myself out could reach +it. We barely arrived in time for me to get aboard, the difficulty +of threading our way amongst the masses of ice making our boating +difficult. That my childish faith in Providence was a family trait +might be deduced from the fact that my brother, who had from boyhood +stood to me _in loco parentis_, had not asked me, until I was on the +point of going aboard, what my means of subsistence were, and, when +he found that I had only my six sovereigns, he told me to wait at +Liverpool for a letter of credit he would send me by the steamer which +followed. + +That voyage is one of the most delightful memories of my life. I loved +the sea; and every phase of it, storm or calm, was a new joy. I had +one fellow-passenger, a German doctor of philosophy, Dr. Seemann, who +had been an ardent radical in Germany, and had been studying in +the United States the development of political intelligence under +democratic conditions, returning to his native land with the profound +conviction that democratic government was destined to be a failure. +We had hot debates on the subject, in which the doctor adduced his +conversations with the intelligent farmers of New England, whom he had +especially studied, to show that their political education was such +as to endanger the best interests of the community from its extreme +superficiality; I, with an unfaltering faith in the processes of +universal suffrage, disputed his conclusions, so hotly in fact that we +quarreled and he took one side of the quarter-deck for his promenades +and I the other. But the conditions of sea life, with a companionship +limited to two persons, are such that no quarrel that was not mortal, +or from rivalry in the affections of a woman, could endure many days, +and after a few such days we drew to the same side of the deck and +were better friends than before, but we dropped politics. + +This was in January of 1850, and I am driven to curiosity as to the +subsequent career of the young German savant, who in that state of +American political evolution was capable of drawing the horoscope of a +nation, as it has been in recent times fulfilled; who saw in the crude +notions of political economy of that prosperous yesterday the germs of +the political blunders and errors of to-day. I drew his portrait, I +made a few studies of sea and sky, but for the most part the sensation +of simple existence under the conditions of illimitable freedom in +space, with no reminder of anything beyond, was sufficient for me. I +used to lie on my back on the roof of the wheel-house and look into +the sky, and try to make friends with the sea-gulls which sailed +around over me, curiously peering down with their dove-like eyes as if +to see what this thing might be. Then the nights, so luminous with the +"breeming" of the sea as we got into the Gulf Stream, and the flitting +and sudden population of the ocean, always bringing us surprises; the +more exciting and delightful storms which came on us in the region in +which they were always to be expected, and which, though we had some +that made lying in one's berth difficult, were never enough to satisfy +my desire for rough weather,--all these things filled my life so full +of the pure delight in nature that when, at the end of nearly three +weeks at sea, we came in sight of the Irish coast, I hated the land. +Life was enough under the sea conditions, and the prospect of the +return to the limitations of living amongst men was absolute pain. + +We made Liverpool in twenty-one days from New York, and the steamer +which had left that port the next week did not arrive till three or +four days after, so that my waiting for the letter of credit involved +a hotel bill which nearly exhausted my money in hand. The kindly +captain, knowing my circumstances, made the hotel keeper throw off +fifty per cent. of his bill (for I went to the "captain's hotel"), and +thus I succeeded in getting to London with the money which was to have +paid my expenses for six weeks (according to the careful calculations +I had made, at the rate of a pound a week) reduced to provision for +three, after which Providence was expected to provide me with a +passage home. In these weeks I had planned to see Turner's pictures, +Copley Fielding's, with Creswick's, and all the others Ruskin had +mentioned. But the railways and hotels had never come into my +arithmetic, and that was always, and remains, my weak point. However, +the letter of credit was for fifty pounds, and so I felt justified in +my faith in Providence, my brother going to the general credit of that +account. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +ART STUDY IN ENGLAND + + +Arrived at Euston Station in the small hours of the morning, I bought +a penny loaf and walked the streets eating it and carrying my valise +until the day was sufficiently advanced for me to go to present a +letter of introduction given me by G.P. Putnam, the publisher, to his +agent in England, Mr. Delf, who at once took me to a lodging-house +in Bouverie Street, in which I got a room for six shillings a week, +service included, and an honest, kindly landlady to whom I still feel +indebted for the affectionate interest she took in me. I had letters +to Mr. S.C. Hall, editor of the "Art Journal," and the Rev. William +Black, pastor of the little Seventh Day Baptist Church at Millyard +in Goodmansfields, Leman Street, a very ancient and well-endowed +foundation, made by some Sabbatarian of centuries ago, with a +parsonage and provision for two sermons every Saturday; and under Mr. +Black's preaching I sat all the time I was in London. He was a man of +archaeological tastes whose researches had led him to the conviction +that the Seventh Day was the true Christian Sabbath, and to fellowship +with the congregation of Millyard. I was admitted to honorary +membership in the church, and the listening to the two dry-as-dust +sermons was compensated for by the cordial friendship of the pastor, +an invitation to dinner every Saturday, and the motherly interest of +his wife and daughters. My childhood's faith and my mother's creed +still hung so closely to me that the observances of our ancient church +were to me sacred, and the Sabbath day at Millyard still held me to +the simple ways of home. In that secluded nook, out of all the rush +and noise of London, we lived as we might have lived in an English +village; it was an _impasse_, and one who entered from the narrow and +squalid alleys which led to it was surprised to find the little square +of the old and disused graveyard, with its huge hawthorn trees and its +inclosure of the parsonage appendages, as peaceful and as far from the +world as if it had been in distant Devon. + +My letter to Mr. Hall led to introductions to Leslie, Harding, +Creswick, and several minor painters, all of whom found me attentive +to the lessons they gave me on their own excellences and led me no +farther, but it also brought me into contact with a painter of a +higher and more serious order, J.B. Pyne, one of the few thinkers and +impartial critics I found amongst the English painters. Every Sunday I +went out to Pyne's house in Fulham, walking the six or seven miles +in the morning and spending the day there. Kitchen-gardens and green +fields then lay between Kensington and Fulham where are now the +museums, and there the larks sang and the hawthorn bloomed. After an +early dinner we passed the afternoon in talk on art and artists. Pyne +was one of the best talkers on art I ever knew, and a critic of very +great lucidity; his art had great qualities and as great defects, but +in comparison with some of the favorites of the public of that day he +was a giant, and in certain technical qualities he had no equal in +his generation except Turner. He had the dangerous tendency, for +an artist, of putting everything he did under the protection and +direction of a theory--a course which invariably checks the fertility +of technical resource, and which in his case had the unfortunate +effect of causing him to be regarded as a mere theorist, whose work +was done by line and rule. But I had good reason to know that Turner +thought more highly of him than the English public, and I am convinced +that as time goes on and his pictures acquire the mellowness of +tone for which he carefully calculated in his method and choice of +material, he will be more highly esteemed than in his own time, and +that the careful and systematic technique which characterized his +work, and which is so opposed to the random and hypothetically +inspired methods that are the admiration of a half-educated public, +will find its true appreciation in the future. + +Of all the English artists of that day with whom I became acquainted, +Pyne impressed me as by a considerable measure the broadest thinker, +and, except Turner in his water-color, the ablest landscape painter; +old John Linnell in this respect standing nearest him in technical +power, with a more complete devotion to nature and her sentiment. In +Harding's work I took no interest; his conventions and tricks of +the brush repelled me, and generally his work left me cold and +discouraged, for this is the effect of wasted cleverness, that it +disheartens a man who, knowing that his abilities are less, finds the +achievement of cleverer men so poor in what satisfies the artist +of feeling. In it I saw an exaggeration of Pyne's defects and the +caricature of his good qualities. Creswick had a better feeling for +nature, but convention in his methods gave place to trick, and I +remember his showing me the way in which he produced detail in a +pebbly brookside, by making the surface of his canvas tacky and then +dragging over it a brush loaded with pigment which caught only on +the prominences, and did in a moment the work of an hour of faithful +painting. + +A painter who taught me more than any other at that time was Edward +Wehnert, mainly known then as an illustrator, and hardly remembered +now even in that capacity. Attracted by one of his water-colors, I +went to him for lessons, which he declined to give, while really +giving me instructions informally and in the most kindly and generous +way, during the entire stay I made in London. Among all the artists I +have known, Wehnert's life was, with the exception of Sexton's, the +most pathetic. His native abilities were of a very high order, and +his education far above that which the British artist of that day +possessed. He was a pupil of Paul Delaroche, and the German blood +he had from his father gave him an imaginative element which the +Englishman in him liberated entirely from the German prescriptive +limitations, while there was just enough of the German poet in him to +give his design a sentiment which was entirely lacking in the English +figure painting of that day. He painted in both oil and water-color, +with a facility of design I have never known surpassed, making at a +single sitting, and without a model, a drawing with many figures. He +was at the moment I knew him engaged in illustrating Grimm's stories, +for a paltry compensation, but, as it seemed to me, in a spirit the +most completely concordant with the stories of all the illustrations I +have ever seen of that folk-lore. + +Wehnert had several sisters, who had been accustomed to a certain ease +in life, and to maintain this all his efforts and those of a bachelor +brother were devoted, to the sacrifice of his legitimate ambitions; +he was overworked with the veriest hack-work of his profession, and +I never knew him but as a jaded man. He was a graduate of Goettingen, +widely read and well taught in all that related to his art as well as +in literature, and I used to sit much with him while he worked, and +most of my evenings were passed in the family. The sisters were women +who had been of the world, clever, accomplished, and with a restricted +and most interesting circle of friends; but over the whole family +there rested an air of tragic gravity, as if of some past which could +never be spoken of and into which I never felt inclined to inquire. +Among the memories of my first stay in London the Wehnerts awaken the +tenderest, for through many years they proved the dearest and kindest +of friends. And the hospitality of London, wherever I found access to +it, was unmeasured--the kindly feeling which showed itself to a young +and unknown student without recommendation or achievement made on me +an indelible impression. I now and then found people who asked me +where I had learned to speak English, or if all the people in the +section from which I came were as white as I was; but except in a +single case, that of a lady who proposed to make me responsible for +slavery in the United States, I never found anything but friendship +and courtesy, and generally the friendliness took the form of active +interest. + +Most of my time was passed in hunting up pictures by Turner, and +of course I made the early acquaintance of Griffiths, a dealer in +pictures, who was Turner's special agent, and at whose gallery were to +be seen such of his pictures as he wished to sell,--for no inducement +could be offered which would make him dispose of some of them. +Griffiths told me that in his presence an American collector, James +Lenox, of New York, after offering Turner L5000, which was refused, +for the Old "Temeraire," offered him a blank check, which was also +rejected. Griffiths's place became one of my most common resorts, +for Griffiths was less a picture dealer than a passionate admirer of +Turner, and seemed to have drifted into his business through his love +for the artist's pictures; and to share in his admiration for Turner +was to gain his cordial friendship. + +Here I first saw Ruskin and was introduced to him. I was looking at +some little early drawings of Turner, when a gentleman entered the +gallery, and, after a conversation between them, Griffiths came to +me and asked if I should not like to be presented to the author of +"Modern Painters," to which I naturally replied in the affirmative. I +could hardly believe my eyes, expecting to find in him something of +the fire, enthusiasm, and dogmatism of his book, and seeing only a +gentleman of the most gentle type, blonde, refined, and with as little +self-assertion or dogmatic tone as was possible consistently with the +holding of his own opinions; suggesting views rather than asserting +them, and as if he had not himself come to a conclusion on the subject +of conversation. A delightful and to me instructive conversation ended +in an invitation to visit his father's collection of drawings and +pictures at Denmark Hill, and later to spend the evening at his own +house in Grosvenor Street. After the lapse of forty-eight years, it +is difficult to distinguish between the incidents which took place in +this first visit to England in 1850 and those belonging to another a +little later, but my impression is very strong that it was during the +former that I spent the evening at the Grosvenor Street residence, at +which I met several artists of Ruskin's intimacy, and amongst them +G.F. Watts. I then saw Mrs. Ruskin, and I have a very vivid impression +of her personal beauty. I remember saying to a friend, to whom I spoke +of the visit just after, that she was the most beautiful woman I +had seen in England. As I approached the house there was a bagpiper +playing near it, and the pipes entered into the conversation in the +drawing-room. On my making some very disparaging opinion of their +music, which I heard for the first time, Mrs. Ruskin flamed up with +indignation, but, after an annihilating look, she said mildly, "I +suppose no Southerner can understand the pipes," and we discussed them +calmly, she telling some stories to illustrate their power and the +special range of their effect. + +At that time Ruskin held very strong Calvinistic notions, and as I +kept my Puritanism unshaken we had as many conversations on religion +as on art, the two being then to me almost identical and to him +closely related. I remember his saying once, in speaking of the +doctrine of foreordination (to me a dreadful bugbear), as I was +drinking a glass of sherry, that he "believed that it had been +ordained from all eternity whether I should set that glass down empty +or without finishing the wine." This was to me the most perplexing +problem of all that Ruskin put before me, for it was the first time +that the doctrine of Calvin had come before me in a concrete form. +Another incident gave me a serious perplexity as to the accuracy of +Ruskin's perceptions of nature. Leslie had given me a card to see Mr. +Holford's collection of pictures, in which was one of Turner's, the +balcony scene in Venice, called, I think, "Juliet and her Nurse." It +was a moonlight, with the most wonderful rendering of a certain effect +seen with the moon at the spectator's back, and I noted in speaking to +Ruskin, later on, that no other picture I had ever seen of moonlight +had succeeded so fully in realizing it, to which he replied that he +had never noticed that it was a moonlight picture; but when I called +his attention to the display of fireworks on the Grand Canal, he +admitted that it was not customary to let off fireworks by day, and +that it must be a night scene. + +My acquaintance with Ruskin lasted with varying degrees of intimacy, +and some interruptions due to his sympathy with the South during the +civil war and bitterness against our government, till 1870, when it +was terminated by a trivial personal incident to which his morbid +state of mind at that time gave a false color. We separated more and +more widely in our opinions on art in later years, and the differences +came to me reluctantly, for my reverence for the man was never to be +shaken, while my study of art showed me finally that, however correct +his views of the ethics of art might be, from the point of view of +pure art he was entirely mistaken, and all that his influence had done +for me had to be undone before any true progress could be made. What +little I had learned from the artists I knew had been in the main +correct, and had aided to show me the true road, but the teaching of +"Modern Painters," and of Ruskin himself later, was in the end fatal +to the career to which I was then devoted, for I was unable to get +back to the dividing of the ways. + +But the first mistake was my own. What I needed was practical study, +the training of the hand, for my head had already gone so far beyond +my technical attainment that I had entered into the fatal condition of +having theories beyond my practice. My execution was so far in arrear +of my perceptions of what should be in the result, that instead of +the delight with which I had, untaught, and in my stolen hours, given +myself to painting, I felt the weight of my technical shortcomings so +heavily as to make my work full of distress instead of that content +with which the artist should always work. Everything became conscious +effort and the going was too much uphill. I had always been groping my +own way, scarcely as much assisted by the fragmentary good advice I +received as laid under heavier disabilities by the better knowledge of +what should be done. In art education the training of the hand should, +I am persuaded, always be kept in advance of the thinking powers, so +that the young student should feel that his ideal is just before him +if not at his finger's end. That this is so rarely the case with +art students in our day is, I am convinced, the chief reason of the +technical inferiority of our modern painters and the root of the +inferiority of modern art. The artist does not begin early enough. +I was already belated, and every advance I made in the study of the +theory of art put me farther behind, practically. + +The hope of getting much technical instruction from competent masters +in England was speedily dispelled. Lessons in water-color I could get +at a guinea an hour, and to enter as a pupil with one of the better +painters was impossible. Pyne received from his pupils L100 a month. I +had calculated how far I could mate my fifty pounds go and put it at +six months. By the advice of Wehnert, I applied to Charles Davidson, a +member of the New Water-Color Society, for instruction, and went down +into Surrey, where he lived, to be able to follow him in his work +from nature. He lived at Red Hill, and in the immediate vicinity John +Linnell had built his then new home. In the few weeks I lived there I +saw a great deal of the old man, one of the most remarkable examples +of the old English type I have ever known, and to me as interesting a +problem from the religious point of view as from the artistic. Barring +differences of the creed, of which I knew and cared nothing (for my +own religious horizon had always included all "good-willing men," and +I had no conception of the distinctions of creed which would send on +one side of the line of safety an Established Churchman and on the +other a Nonconformist), we agreed very well, and in the general +impression I set Linnell down as a devout Christian of the Cromwellian +type, and he certainly was a man of remarkable intellectual powers, +both in art and in theology. His Christianity might have taken a form +of less domestic sternness, but I remembered my own father too well +to find it inconsistent with genuine piety, though not even my mother +ever inspired the awe Linnell and his religious severity excited in +me. + +Linnell's landscape seemed to me the full expression of a healthy +love of nature, possible only to a moral sanity in the man--a cheery +Wordsworthian enjoyment of her, which as a rule I have never found +in perfection out of the English school and its derivatives; the +outpouring of a robust nature which prefers to see the outer world +with the spectacles of no school, and through the memory of no other +man; not self-taught in the sense of owing nothing to another mind, +but in the sense that what he had learned he had digested and +forgotten except as a chance word in the universal gospel of art; +technically weak, slovenly in style, but eminently successful in +telling the story he had to tell. Even then, with my limited knowledge +of painting, he seemed to me to furnish the antithesis to Pyne,--one +too careful of style and running to excessive precision, the other too +negligent and running into indecision; and this judgment still holds. +Of Davidson, my immediate teacher, there was only to be got certain +ways of doing certain things, limited to the elements of landscape; +how to wash in the sky, to treat foliage in masses, and those tricks +of the brush in which the English water-color school abounds; but no +larger views, or more individual, of art itself. What he taught was, +perhaps, what I most needed to learn, but I was already too far on the +way to learn it easily. + +I made a visit of ten days to Paris and saw with great profit the work +of the landscape painters and of Delacroix, the other figure painters +in general not interesting me much. I carried a letter of introduction +from the Wehnerts to Mademoiselle Didot, the daughter of Firmin Didot, +the famous publisher, then an old blind man, but one of the most +interesting Frenchmen I ever knew, as Mademoiselle Didot was the most +brilliant Frenchwoman. The old man was much interested in what I had +to say of America, and he paid us the national compliment of saying +that we spoke English more intelligibly than Englishmen in general. As +I spoke no French, our conversation was in English, and he understood +me perfectly, though he said he rarely could follow without difficulty +the conversation of an Englishman, while Americans in general he +understood readily. To accomplish all that I did with my fifty pounds +it may be easily understood that I had to cut my corners close, and +in fact they were so closely cut in my Continental excursion that I +landed at Newhaven on my return with one shilling in my pocket, +and when, at the end of my stay in England, I took the train for +Liverpool, I had only sixpence (my passage being provided for), and my +good friend Delf, who saw me off, on finding the state of my purse, +insisted at the railway station on my taking a sovereign for +contingencies. + +This habit of making no provision for accidents had been a part of my +moral training, the faith in the overruling Providence never forsaking +me for an instant, so that, whatever I set about to do, I made no +provision for accidents. To go ahead and do what I thought I ought to +do, and let the consequences take care of themselves, has been the +habit of mind in which I have always worked and probably still work. +If the thing to be done was right, I never thought of what might come +after, or even whether I had the means to carry a resolution into +effect, taking it for granted that the means would be provided because +the thing was to be done. I retain the distinct recollection of an +expression of my mother while I was making preparations for this first +voyage to Europe, and she was packing my clothes for the voyage and +her lips were silently moving and the slow tears running down her +cheeks. She said in her low and murmuring voice as if in comment on +her prayer, "Oh! no, he is too pure-hearted," and I knew that the +prayer was for my protection from the temptations of that world of +which she only knew the terrors and dangers from her Bible, and +that she was so wrapt in her spiritual yearnings that she had quite +forgotten my presence. Poor mother! I never deserved the great trust +she had in me, but the memory of that moment has served me in many +devious moments to keep me in the path. But if I had no such virtues +as those which she attributed to me, I had what was perhaps more +potent, the intuitions which I inherited from her, and such as often +take a man out of temptation before he is aware of its strength, +and before it becomes a real danger; nor can any man remember such +confidence on the part of his mother without, from very shame, if no +sterner motive should exist, maintaining a higher tone of life. + +I did not leave London without a sight of Turner himself, due to the +friendly forethought of Griffiths, who so appreciated my enthusiasm +for the old man that he lost no opportunity to satisfy it. Turner was +taken ill while I was on this visit, with an attack of the malady +which later killed him, and I had begged Griffiths to ask him to let +me come and nurse him. He declined the offer, but was not, Griffiths +told me, quite unmoved by it. One day, after his recovery, I received +a message from Griffiths to say that Turner was coming to the gallery +at a certain hour on a business appointment, and if I would happen in +just before the time fixed for it I might see him. + +At the appointed hour Turner came and found me in an earnest study +of the pictures in the farther end of the gallery, where I remained, +unnoticing and unnoticed, until a sign from Griffiths called me up. +He then introduced me as a young American artist who had a great +admiration for his work, and who, being about to return home, would +be glad to take him by the hand. It was difficult to reconcile my +conception of the great artist with this little, and, to casual +observation, insignificant old man with a nose like an eagle's beak, +though a second sight showed that his eye, too, was like an eagle's, +bright, restless, and penetrating. Half awed and half surprised, I +held out my hand. He put his behind him, regarding me with a humorous, +malicious look, saying nothing. Confused, and not a little mortified, +I turned away, and, walking down the gallery, went to studying the +pictures again. When I looked his way again, a few minutes later, he +held out his hand to me, and we entered into a conversation which +lasted until Griffiths gave me a hint that Turner had business to +transact which I must leave him to. He gave me a hearty handshake, +and in his oracular way said, "Hmph--(nod) if you come to England +again--hmph (nod)--hmph (nod)," and another hand-shake with more +cordiality and a nod for good-by. I never saw a keener eye than his, +and the way that he held himself up, so straight that he seemed almost +to lean backwards, with his forehead thrown forward, and the piercing +eyes looking out from under their heavy brows, and his diminutive +stature coupled with the imposing bearing, combined to make a very +peculiar and vivid impression on me. Griffiths afterwards translated +his laconism for me as an invitation to come to see him if I ever came +back to England, and added that though he was in the worst of tempers +when he came in, and made him expect that I should be insulted, he +was in fact unusually cordial, and he had never seen him receive a +stranger with such friendliness except in the case of Cattermole, for +whom he had a strong liking. In the conversation we had during the +interview, I alluded to our good fortune in having already in America +one of the pictures of his best period, a seacoast sunset in the +possession of Mr. Lenox, and Turner exclaimed, "I wish they were all +put in a blunderbuss and shot off!" but he looked pleased at the +simultaneous outburst of protest on the part of Griffiths and myself. +When I went back to England for another visit he was dead. + +I may frankly say as to Turner's art, that I enjoyed most the +water-colors of the middle period, though the latest gave me another +kind of delight,--that of the reading of a fairy-story, of the +building of glorious castles in the air in my younger days, that of +something to desire and despair of. The drawings of the England and +Wales series in the possession of Ruskin seemed to my critical +faculty the _ne plus ultra_ of water-color painting,--especially the +"Llanthony Abbey," of which I recall those early impressions with the +greatest distinctness[1]. I saw in the Academy Exhibition the last +pictures he ever exhibited, some whaling subjects, fresh from his +retouching of two days before, gorgeous dreams of color art, but only +dreams--the actuality had all gone out. I saw them years after when +they had become mere wrecks, hardly recognizable. + +[Footnote 1: I saw it again in the Guildhall Exhibition of 1899.] + +I saw also that year a picture by Rossetti and one by Millais, and the +latter impressed me very strongly; in fact it determined me in the +manner in which I should follow art on my return home. I did not and +could not put it on the same plane as the "Llanthony Abbey," but the +straight thrust for the truth was evidently the shortest way to +a certain excellence, and this of the kind most akin to my own +faculties, and I said to Delf, who was with me at the exhibition +of the Academy, that if ever English figure painting rose out of +mediocrity it would be through the work of the P.R.B. My impression is +that the picture was the "Christ in the Carpenter's Shop," but of this +I cannot be sure, though I am certain that it was in the exhibition of +1850. The Rossetti was in the old "National Society," and was either +the "Childhood of the Virgin Mary" or the "White Lady." Beautiful as +it was, it did not impress me as did the temper of Millais's work, +the scrupulous conscientiousness of which chimed with my Puritan +education. I left England with a fermentation of art ideas in my +brain, in which the influence of Turner and Pyne, the teachings +of Wehnert, and the work of the Pre-Raphaelites mingled with the +influence of Ruskin, and especially the preconception of art work +derived from the descriptions, often strangely misleading, of the +"Modern Painters." + +I received from my brother, as I had anticipated, the order for a +passage on the Atlantic, one of the Collins line of steamers, and one +of my fellow-passengers was Jenny Lind, on her way for her first visit +to America under the guidance of Barnum. She gave a concert on board +for the benefit of the firemen and sailors, and to this the half of +Delf's sovereign contributed, the other half going for a bottle of +Rhine wine, to return the compliment of my next neighbor at the table, +who had invited me to take a glass of wine one day. Thus, as usual, I +landed penniless from my venture, but fortunately found my brother on +the wharf expecting the arrival of the steamer, her trips having +been made with such precision that the hour of arrival was generally +anticipated correctly. In those days the steamers were rarely driven, +and a voyage of fourteen days was not considered a bad one. A day's +run of 336 knots was a triumph of steaming and rarely attained. But +we were at the beginning of the contest between the Collins and the +Cunard steamers, and up to that time the American line had generally a +little the better of it. + +The rest of that year and the year following were given to hard and +monotonous painting from nature while the weather permitted, and in +the winter to working out clumsily the mysteries of picture-making, a +work which, as I was without direction or any correct appreciation of +what I had it in me to do, became a drudgery which I went through as +an indispensable duty, but with no satisfaction. My larger studies +from nature (25x30 inches) had attracted attention and had been hung +on the line, getting for me the election to the Associateship of +Design, and the appellation of the "American Pre-Raphaelite,"--all +which for a man so lately embarked in the profession was considered a +high honor, as it really was. But the success only confirmed me in my +incorrect views of art and carried me farther from the true path. As +studies from nature, the fidelity and completeness of them, even +in comparison with Durand's, was something which the conventional +landscape known then and there had never approached, and to the +respectable amateurs of that day they were puzzles. In one of them, +a study of a wood scene with a spring of water overshadowed by a +beech-tree, all painted at close quarters, I had transplanted a violet +which I wanted in the near foreground, so as to be sure that it was in +correct light and proportion. This was in the spirit of the Ruskinian +doctrine, of which I made myself the apostle. On that study I spent +such hours of the day as the light served, for three months, and then +the coming of autumn stopped me. Any difficulty in literal rendering +of a subject was incomprehensible to me, and in fact in that kind of +work there is little difference, for it is but copying, and requires +only a correct eye and infinite patience, both of which I had; and it +was a puzzle to me rather than a compliment when the veteran Durand +said to me of one of my studies, that it was a subject he would not +have dared attack on account of the difficulty of the effect of light, +for to me it was simply a question of time and sticking to it. It was +not art, but the public did not know it any more than I did, and I was +admitted to a place which I believe was one of the highest amongst +my contemporaries at home in a way that led to little even in its +complete success. I influenced some of my contemporaries and gave a +jog to the landscape painting of the day, and there it ended, through +a diversion of my ambition to another sphere, but there it must have +ended; even if I had never been so diverted. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +ON A MISSION FOR KOSSUTH + + +The arrival, in December, 1851, of Kossuth, the Hungarian patriot, on +his mission for the redemption of Hungary, set all America in a flame +of shallow enthusiasm, and I went to hear his appeals. What he asked +for was money to arm his country, to renew the struggle with the +House of Hapsburg. His eloquence carried away all deliberation in the +Northern States, and even shook the government at Washington; but, in +the end, the only practical result was his gain of the dollars which +the hearers paid to hear him speak, and which no one regretted who +heard him, for such oratory no one in the country ever had heard, even +from men to whom the English language was native. Before making his +discourse in any town, he took the pains to find out something of the +local history, and thus touched the patriotism of his audience in the +parish bounds, and the past glories of America were revived in terms +of a new and strange flattery. We were like the Athenians after +hearing the Philippics of Demosthenes,--all ready to march against +the Austrian. Before he left New York I had volunteered to fight or +conspire, or take any part in the struggle which might fall to me. I +kept my counsel from my family, and when Kossuth went on his westward +tour it was settled that, on or after his return to Europe, I was to +follow. + +His tour of the Northern States was a triumph that caused him to +entertain hopes which a man of more sobriety and common-sense would +not have conceived. Against the indifference to liberty and the +selfishness of the slave States, his flood of eloquence broke in vain. +He knew that the North contained most of the capital and energy of +America, and he supposed that they ruled, and was late in learning +that the South ruled us. At Washington he came into contact with the +statesmanship and the demagogy of the republic, and, while the +former gave him a magnificent reception, the latter quietly and +undemonstratively quenched his hopes. The South had no sympathy with +Hungarian or any other liberty, and we felt the chill fall on Kossuth +and his eloquence. But, for the politicians, there was something to +be made out of him and the naturalized voters, mainly republicans and +refugees from the various revolutions which had failed in Europe; so +he was not denied the expectation of some private assistance, though +the hope that the United States should openly declare Hungary a +belligerent, and thus give its moral weight to Kossuth, the recognized +governor, was soon seen to be an idle and fallacious one. "Something +might be done," said the politicians. So Kossuth waited. + +A presidential election was near, and negotiations were initiated +between Kossuth and the party leaders for his influence on the foreign +vote, and, pending these, he could decide nothing as to his future +movements. I was in the habit of going to see him at night, and +sometimes waited for the departure of the committees of the +politicians who were in discussion with him. One night, when I went +in, I found him in a state of nauseated irritation, and he broke out, +saying, "Mr. Stillman, if your country does not get rid of these +politicians it will be ruined in fifty years." He had just received a +Democratic committee, which had formally promised him, in return for +the influence he might exert in favor of their candidate, two ships of +war ready for service, and a sum of money, the exact amount of which +I cannot now remember, but I think it was half a million dollars. +Naturally he did not tell me if he had closed with the proposition, +but the making of it by the committee was a revelation as to the +purity of American politics which he fully understood. This committee +had presented itself with the authority of Franklin Pierce, Democratic +candidate for the presidency. + +The scheme in which he at first proposed to utilize my services was +the formation of a deposit of arms and materials of war at a point in +the Mediterranean from which he could descend promptly on the coast of +Croatia, and this indicated that the two men-of-war of the committee +entered into his plans. The desired point he found in the little +island of Galita, south of Sardinia, unoccupied and apparently +unclaimed by any power, but on which, he told me, the flag of the +United States had been hoisted some years before by one of our +cruisers; evidently as a joke on the part of some of our sailors. +I was to visit it and report on its fitness for his purpose; but +negotiations dragged, or there was some hitch, nothing was concluded +until Kossuth's departure for Europe became necessary, and Pulzsky, +his _alter ego_, was given full instructions concerning me. I was to +follow when affairs were in a certain state of readiness; and, in +fact, after a few weeks, I was summoned to London. I received from +Pulzsky the clue to Kossuth's quarters, in a quiet street, Bayswater +way, if I remember rightly, to which I was to go only late at night, +and by some roundabout road, as the Austrian spies were always +watching him. + +I had a letter to a Madam Schmidt, a German refugee, and an advanced +republican, at whose house I used to meet a little assembly of +refugees,--German, French, Russian, etc. Every Sunday night we used to +meet and discuss the politics of Europe. Of my friends of this circle +I remember only one,--a Mr. Norich, a young Russian, with whom I +contracted a close friendship, never since renewed. Nothing more was +said of the Galita plan, which seems to have depended on the success +of the political negotiations with the Americans, and it was finally +decided that I should go to Milan and carry the proclamations which +Kossuth was to issue to the Hungarian soldiers of the Italian garrison +there, ordering them, in case of any revolt, not to fire on insurgent +Italians. This was in prevision of the insurrection which Mazzini had +determined for the spring of 1853, and with regard to which there were +grave dissensions between the two chiefs. Kossuth was not ready +for the Hungarian rising, and refused to order it till there was +a prospect of success, while Mazzini believed that, even if +unsuccessful, the rising was necessary to keep his influence on the +Italian population, which was already shaken. Kossuth said to me that +he disapproved Mazzini's plans, for he refused "to play with the blood +of the nations;" but, if Mazzini persisted, he would give the order to +the Hungarian troops not to fire on the people if any rising should +take place; more than that he could not do. + +Pending the ripening of Mazzini's scheme I waited in London, at the +orders of Kossuth, but before the moment came for my undertaking this +mission a new one became urgent. When the Hungarian insurrection of +1848-49 had become evidently a failure, and Kossuth was about to +escape into Turkey, he decided to conceal, in some place secure from +Austrian discovery, the crown jewels, including the crown of St. +Stephen, which was considered by the Hungarian people as necessary to +the lawful coronation of their king, and with which Francis Joseph +had not been crowned; and he and Bartholomew Szemere, one of his +colleagues in the ministry--employing for their operations a +detachment of prisoners, who were shot after the concealment was +complete--buried the jewels at some point down the Danube. Having +received information that Szemere, who was then opposed to Kossuth, +was about to disclose their hiding-place to the Austrian government, +Kossuth determined to remove them, and organized an expedition to this +end, of which I was to become the apparent head. The description of +the hiding-place was written in a most complicated cipher dispatch, +the key to which was contained in a stanza of a song known to +Kossuth's correspondent in Pesth. Each letter in the dispatch was +represented by a fraction, of which the numerator was the number of +the letter in one of the lines of the song, and the denominator the +number of the line. This dispatch was then written in four parts; the +first, fifth, ninth, etc., letters being put in the first part; +the second, sixth, tenth, etc., in the second; the third, seventh, +eleventh, etc., in the third; the fourth, eighth, twelfth, etc., in +the fourth, and so on to the end. Of these parts of the dispatch, +written on the finest paper, I had charge of two; one for myself, and +one for a person indicated at Pesth, and the other two were to go by +way of Constantinople, one for the confederate who carried it and one +for the correspondent who had the song-key. We were to meet and spell +out the directions and go to the hiding-place, and, when the jewels +were recovered, they were to be hidden in a box of a conserve for +which that vicinity was noted, and then carried to Constantinople, +from which point I was to take charge of them and deliver them in +Boston to Dr. S.G. Howe, the well-known Philhellene. + +I folded my portion of these dispatches small, wrapped them in thin +gutta-percha, and, going to the most obscure shoemaker in the part of +London which I knew, had the heel of one of my boots excavated and +the packet deposited in the hole and covered over again by a stout +heel-tap. My orders were to take at least six weeks for the journey, +to go by a roundabout route, and travel as if for pleasure. From +the Austrian territory I was to write to Kossuth all the political +information I could collect, the messages being conveyed in a +cryptograph in which the form of the letter was to be that of a +correspondence between lovers. The words composing the message were to +be written on spaces left in a mask of which each had a copy, and the +spaces between the words then filled up so that the letter would carry +some meaning when read as a whole. Love-letters were supposed to give +most room for nonsense. Knowing very little French, I bought a pocket +dictionary and a copy of Racine, and, during a ten days' stay in +Paris, by diligent use of the former in all my transactions, I picked +up enough for the needs of travel, and, spending all my leisure over +the latter, I was, before my mission was over, able to converse with +considerable fluency and knew my Racine thoroughly. + +From Paris I made the journey to Brussels in the company of an +American gentleman, Mr. Coxe, of Alabama, traveling with his wife and +daughter. At Brussels I made, through the Coxes, the acquaintance +of M. Le Hardy de Beaulieu, the leader of a section of the Belgian +Liberals, whose father had held a command in the Belgian contingent at +Waterloo. My acquaintance with M. Le Hardy lasted many years, he being +much interested in America, and having, with his brother, founded +a Belgian colony in Alabama. The ancestral estate of the Le Hardys +included part of the field of Waterloo, and we visited it in company +with M. Le Hardy, who pointed out the trenches made by the heavy +artillery of Napoleon still distinguishable on the surface of the +fields in spite of the subsequent ploughings. I suppose that his +familiarity with the fields from his boyhood gives authority to his +assurance that the depressions we saw were the effect of the ploughing +of the guns in the wet, soft earth, and did not exist in the natural +lay of the land, and the incident brought one very near to the great +struggle which fixed for long the position of England in European +politics. M. Le Hardy had been, like his father before him, urged to +resume the title of nobility which the father had renounced in the +warmth of the republican movement prior to the Empire, having burned +the patent in the square at Brussels; but, like the father, he had +always refused. He was a consistent and, as he would now be classed, a +moderate republican. + +Visiting Dusseldorf for the sake of the school of art there, I seemed +to go into the Middle Ages. We landed from the Rhine steamer in the +night, finding the streets deserted even by the police, and dimly +lighted by oil lamps hung across them at wide intervals, and I +wandered a long time at random with my valise in hand, searching for a +hotel, and not meeting a living person to ask guidance of. I blundered +at length on a little inn in whose drinking-room still burned a light, +and in which I found a night's lodging. Such a primitive state of +civilization was to me, fresh from Paris and Brussels, romantic. At +Berlin I made the acquaintance of Varnhagen von Ense, through a letter +of introduction from Frau Schmidt, my republican refugee friend of +London. He treated me with great consideration, and promised me a +winter of brilliant social life if I would stay at Berlin. The chief +inducement offered was the acquaintance of Humboldt, then absent from +the city. Of Varnhagen von Ense I retain the most delightful memory. +I found him courteous, genial, and hospitable, with a large-minded +outlook on politics and a great interest in America. I saw also the +new museum, with Kaulbach at work on his frescoes, and, going by +Dresden, reached Prague, where I began my political reports to +Kossuth. + +Arriving at Vienna, I was beforehand with the famous police, which I +found not to merit its reputation for sharpness, and went at once, +after establishing myself at the hotel, and before my name was +reported to the authorities and a spy put on me, to the address of a +republican, known to Kossuth, and to whom I was directed to apply for +the identification of some Hungarian resident in the city on whom +Kossuth could depend to reestablish communication with the Viennese +malcontents, broken by a misadventure of his former agent. This +adventure Kossuth recounted to me, I suppose to keep up my courage in +the perilous business he was sending me on. One of his agents had +been sent on a round tour with instructions for certain officers or +soldiers, and, having been detected in communication with the barracks +and arrested, a memorandum book was found on him in which, amongst +many addresses of persons to whom he had no mission, those to which +he was directed were interspersed. All were arrested, among them the +Vienna agent, who, ignorant of the reason of his arrest, suspecting +treachery, and fearing the disclosures that might be extorted from him +by torture, rolled himself in his bedclothes and set fire to them with +his candle, the only means of suicide left him. When he felt that the +burning was fatal he made an alarm and bade the attendant call the +council of war, which immediately met in his cell. He then avowed his +complicity in treasonable plans, and, assuring them that nothing more +could be extorted from him by any torture they might inflict, that his +chief would soon come and make all things right, and that there were +thousands more as ready to die as he, he refused to say any more and +died in silence. + +My business was to find a man to take this agent's place. The +individual to whom I was sent was a ribbon manufacturer on one of the +main streets, and, pretending a desire to visit his weaving rooms, we +went to the manufactory in the upper stories, and then I disclosed, +with no preamble, my mission. The good man was in ecstasies, and to +show his joy invited me down into his living apartments and introduced +me to his wife, daughters, and the lover of one of his daughters, as a +messenger from Kossuth! If my hair did not rise on end, I am certain +that at no crisis of my life could it ever have done so. During my ten +days' stay in Vienna and the four weeks I afterward passed in Pesth, I +never lost a nervous apprehension of the consequences of this singular +imprudence, for I was in the enemy's country, on business the +slightest suspicion of which meant an obscure prison and complete +disappearance from any friend. With cipher dispatches on my person in +the handwriting of Kossuth, well known to all the authorities, and +with my secret in the possession of five women and two men, the +uneasiness I felt for the first two or three days can better be +imagined than expressed. I did nothing all day long but walk the +streets, drink coffee, and smoke cigars with constant apprehension of +an arrest. + +But I did not neglect my business. I found a Hungarian whose name +Kossuth had given me as the alternative probable medium of the renewed +relations with Vienna, but he not only refused to have any relations +with the late dictator, but strongly warned me of the possible +consequences to myself of the mission I was on, and made me see very +clearly that Kossuth overrated his influence on the Hungarians after +the _debacle_, for which he was largely responsible. But it never +occurred to me that it was possible to withdraw or do less than obey +my instructions. I reported to Kossuth that the only person I could +find who was willing to assume the responsibility of entering into +relations with him was the ribbon-maker, and then, having acquired +the confidence of the American consul, who was a zealous agent of the +imperial government, and got his vise for Hungary, I made my way to +Pesth. + +Once on the scene of my real labors, I discovered how incompetent a +conspirator Kossuth was. He had given me the name of his correspondent +in Pesth and his residence, in the Karolyisches Haus, as if that were +his ordinary residence, without warning me, though he knew it, that he +was really in hiding from the police, and probably only to be reached +with precaution and indirectly. Adopting the same tactics as in +Vienna, and not to attract attention by inquiries, I went at once in +a cab to the house. The porter, of course, in reply to my inquiries, +being in hearing of the cab-driver, who was probably a spy, denied any +knowledge of such a person. I drove back to the hotel, and then went +on foot alone and asked again for the individual, but got the same +reply, this time angrily delivered. Utterly at a loss what to do, I +wrote at once to Kossuth that the person wanted was not at the address +indicated. Instead of writing to him to find me and giving him +my address, Kossuth only reiterated through the post the former +instructions. I repeated the denial, and then waited. In conversation +with the hotel people I inquired as fully as was possible without +exciting suspicion, about persons of liberal tendencies and such as I +conceived that I might make use of, and studied the position as best I +could. Pending this study I was summoned to the police headquarters to +give an account of myself. This I did in a manner which must have been +satisfactory, as they found that I knew little German and was a very +stupid and unpractical individual, which I must have really been, to +find myself there. I accounted for myself as a landscape painter on +his travels, and as I knew nobody and made no acquaintances they +dismissed all suspicion of me, our consul's assurance no doubt +covering all doubts, and I waited still. But after a few days more +a convenient attack of illness gave me a pretext for calling a +physician, and I chose Dr. Orzovensky, who I had learned had been +chief of the medical staff under the revolutionary authorities. +Through him I made such inquiries as were possible about the people to +whom I was sent, and then for the first time discovered that they were +all under accusation as conspirators and searched for by the police, +and of this I had no warning from Kossuth. + +But in all this wandering my boot-heel was wearing away, and it was a +question of wearing into the packet of dispatches, or putting them in +a place of security. I accordingly dug them out, and, hiding them in +a convenient corner of the cupboard in my room, where they must +soon have been discovered in case of a domiciliary visit, took the +excavated boots out to throw them into the river, choosing the +earliest darkness of the rainy evening of the same day. I knew that +if the bootblack saw the excavated heel he would in all probability +report the fact, and my arrest would follow. In my ignorance of the +fact that the city was under martial law, and that without a pass no +one could be in the streets after 8 P.M., I had waited till 9 to be +screened by the darkness, and then, walking down the river on the +dike, I slipped down to the water's edge by the path, and gently +tossed the boots into the rapid current. Seeing the dangerous articles +float away into the dark, I turned to go up the dike to the road +running along the top of it, when, to my dismay, I heard a sentinel +directly across the road challenge, saw the officer of the guard +coming on his rounds, and heard his reply to the challenge. I hurried +down the bank, hoping that I had not attracted attention, but feeling +that in the contrary case I was in most imminent danger of arrest, and +the thought of the dispatches left where they must be found in case of +suspicion gave me a moment's anxiety. I hurried back along the water's +edge till I judged that I was out of sight from the post, and then +walked up on the dike and towards the hotel. + +It was very dark and raining slightly, but as I came within the circle +of light of one of the street lamps the vigilant eye of the officer of +the guard caught me, and he hailed, "Who goes there?" I did not reply, +but, acting as if I did not hear, hurried to get directly under the +lamp which was near, with a feeling that if the officer saw me there +he would see that I was what I pretended to be, a stranger, and also +with a feeling that I was safer at a distance if the challenge were +followed by a bullet. Under the lamp I stopped for the officer to come +up. I was not really frightened, but I cannot deny that I felt very +nervous, as he came up, and, in an inquisitorial tone, asked, "What +are you doing here?" I replied in German which was certainly comical +and not a little shaky, for it was a fragmentary remembrance of the +German read in my early college course, and never since revived, that +"I was doing nothing--that I was a strangers" (ich bin ein Fremden), +and had come out to see the effects on the river, pointing to the +glimmering lights; but, fortunately, my German was so funny that he +burst out laughing, and after a "sehr schoen, sehr schoen," as I had +said "strangers" in the plural, he replied, "When you are a strangers +you must stay in the house," and gave me friendly directions as to +how to get back to my hotel without falling in with the police, "who +wouldn't let you off as I have." I was fortunate enough to arrive +without any further notice. The officers of the army hated to do +police service, and my inquisitor was no doubt glad not to pass me +into the custody of the police. I have always wished to know the name +of my protector, for such he was. + +I remained in Pesth over a month, exciting an increasing attention and +being unable to account for a further delay, as I was doing nothing, +not even sketching, which, in the vicinity of a fortress, would have +been the surest way of inviting arrest. I profited by the acquaintance +of Dr. Orzovensky's family to pass the time agreeably, and, finally, +being unable to extort by post further instructions from Kossuth, or +explanations in reply to two urgent letters describing the position I +was in, and being unable to give any reason for a longer stay, or to +find the people I was sent to, I determined to go back to London and +start again with fuller oral instructions and a better understanding +of the difficulties. I went to Orzovensky and frankly told him my +errand, and asked him if I might leave the dispatches in some place +known to him, so that he could indicate to some other person, should +my mission be taken up by another, where they were to be found. He +burst out on me with violence, accusing me of endangering his family +as well as himself, and assuring me that if the slightest suspicion of +my mission should transpire they would all be thrown into prison, +and he be ruined, refusing to have anything to do or say about the +dispatches, and breaking off all communications with me on the spot. + +I had not, up to that moment, felt any _real_ fright, though, when I +stood under the scrutiny of the officer on the dike, I must confess I +felt extremely nervous; but Orzovensky's violence, and his own panic +at the thought of having harbored treason so long, making me fear that +his anxiety to escape all suspicion might compel him to denounce me, +gave me a _mauvais quart d'heure_. I was instantaneously in an awful +funk, and I had a practical demonstration of the "_vox haesit in +faucibus_," for I was unable to reply to the good doctor in anything +but the faintest whisper, and my tongue clattered in my mouth, as dry +as a stick, in an instant. I threw the dispatches in the sink and took +the next train for Vienna, undisturbed by the train running off the +track in the night, in the greater anxiety of my position, and, after +making at the station of Vienna only a hasty lunch on a boiled sausage +and a roll, continued my journey by express until I was out of the +Austrian dominions, and stopped to sleep at Frankfort. My panic was +as unreasonable as my security had been, for there was no reason to +believe that Dr. Orzovensky would warn the authorities, or that I +could not have carried the dispatches back to Kossuth in safety. My +habitual courage was not the courage of one who realizes his danger +and faces it coolly, but that of constitutional inability to realize +what the danger is, however clearly it may be shown to him. As a habit +the realization of my danger only came to me when the danger itself +had gone by, and then I was frightened. + +Arrived at London, I went to report to Kossuth, expecting a scene and +reproaches, when I was prepared to show him that the failure of the +mission was due to his having neglected to inform me that I was going +to a man wanted by the police, and in close hiding, so that my failure +to find him was probably due to the openness with which I made my +approaches, and to his not having then informed his correspondent that +I was on the ground expecting to see him, and that he must look out +for me. But he only exclaimed, with a tone of regret, "Three months +lost!" yet there was, probably, a reciprocal disapproval of our +methods of carrying on a conspiracy; for, while he was most gravely +disappointed at getting no result from his work and expenditure, no +doubt owing largely to my incompetence for that kind of service, I was +equally dissatisfied at being sent on an expedition which put my +life in imminent danger, with the minor perils of torture and long +imprisonment, provided with information utterly insufficient and +needlessly incomplete for the mission confided to me. + +If Kossuth had cautioned me that his correspondent was in hiding and +wanted by the police, I should not have committed the grave error of +going openly to find him, and under the eye of a cabman, who would +probably report to the police my act. Had he even after that informed +his correspondent where I could be found and who I was (which was +perfectly practicable, for he told me himself that he had received +letters from the correspondent during my stay at Pesth), there could +have been communication at once. Kossuth said that I ought to have +sought out the friends at the Tiger cafe, where they were in the habit +of meeting publicly, though he knew that the city was swarming with +spies, and that the state of siege existed (and of this, even, he did +not warn me), and that my chief difficulty was to avoid being brought +into contact with suspected Hungarians; nor did he recollect that he +had given precise instructions to avoid anything which might lead any +one to suppose that I was more than an objectless traveler. I was most +reasonably disgusted with having my life exposed in this careless way, +and he, perhaps, as reasonably so with my want of resource, and the +result was that he decided not to employ me again in such work, and I +decided to wait for active insurrectionary movements, in which I could +take my place. As it happened, however, the Austrian government had +recovered the crown jewels; some one in the secret--Kossuth said +Szemere--having learned that Kossuth was sending an expedition to +recover them, and, from jealousy of him, disclosed the hiding-place. + +Kossuth's practical incapacity for the minutiae of conspiracy in this +case was, I judged from what I afterward learned of his compatriots, +characteristic of him. He continually neglected the details of +important affairs, working by magnificent inspirations, which left out +of consideration the defects of human nature. His self-exaltation had +offended many patriots who did not fall under his personal magnetism, +and his assumption of authority in military matters where he had no +knowledge to justify it, alienated the competent officers. The treason +of Goergey, as it was popularly considered, was probably due to the +perception that Kossuth was an impracticable head for an active +revolution, under whose dictature there was no hope of final success +while he at the same time refused to abandon his impracticable +ideals; and I heard from actual participants that there was great +dissatisfaction amongst the officers with his assumption of dignity, +out of place, and of command, for which he was incompetent. The fact +was that he could not distinguish between the practicable and the +impracticable, and though not so visionary as Mazzini, he believed +that his power of arousing the wild enthusiasm of the Honveds and +masses of Hungarians, due to his marvelous eloquence, was enough to +carry on war with, and he would not see that, from the moment that +Russia intervened, it was only a question of time when and how the +insurrection should end. Then his treatment of the Slavonic element of +the population was fatal to the movement. The Serbs only asked to be +admitted on an equal footing with the Magyars to the struggle against +the centralizing tendency of the German element at Vienna, and +Kossuth contemptuously exclaimed, in response to their demand, "These +Rascians, who consider themselves a nation and are only a band of +robbers," etc.,--a reply hardly calculated to conciliate--one which in +fact threw the Slavonic population against the movement and made the +Russian intervention inevitable. Kossuth, like Mazzini, was simply an +insurrectionary force--the administrative power existed only in great +and imposing schemes which lacked adaptation to ordinary human nature +and existing circumstances. The personal fascination of the man was +beyond anything I have ever known, but his failure as the chief of a +state was, I believe, inevitable. + +I took my conge as secret agent, but it was understood that when the +renewal of the revolt from Austria, to which he looked forward at no +distant time, was at hand, I should take the place to which I had +looked forward in the beginning. I saw one of Kossuth's associates +subsequently, after the failure of Mazzini's Milan movement in the +spring of 1853; and he then told me of the failure, and how the +Hungarian soldiers, as had been ordered, refused to fire on the +insurgents and had been decimated and sent to Croatia. More than +thirty years after, I went to see Kossuth at Turin, and introduced +myself as the young man who went to Hungary for him to carry off the +crown jewels. He burst out with an impetuous denial of the existence +of the expedition. "But," said I, "I have your letters written to +me in Pesth." "I should like to see those letters," he replied. I +promised to send them, conditionally on his promise to return them; +but thinking it over, I sent him only one, inclosed in a stamped +envelope directed to myself, with a letter recalling the promise to +send it back. I never heard from him again, however, and saw that he +only wanted to get the letters to suppress their evidence. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +AN ART STUDENT IN PARIS + + +I went to Paris to wait for the impending rising in Milan, and +meanwhile entered the atelier of Yvon, not to lose my time. My only +English-speaking companion in the atelier was a younger brother of +Edward Armitage, the Royal Academician; the popular atelier at that +time for the English and American students being that of Couture. +Yvon had about thirty pupils, to whom his attentions were given +gratuitously and conscientiously, three times a week, with rare +exceptions of the Saturday visit, by the pupils regarded as the least +important. Of the thirty there were not more than a half dozen who +showed any degree of special aptitude for their work, and only two +were regarded by their colleagues as likely to be an honor to the +atelier in the future, and of these, unless they have changed their +names, no renown has come in later times. There was a marquis whose +income was one hundred francs a month, and a count whose father gave +him five sous and a piece of bread for his breakfast when he left +home, but the rest were plebeians, with neither past nor future, whose +enthusiasm in the face of their weekly failures, and patience in +following an arid path, were most interesting as a social phenomenon. +I have always found more to wonder at in the failures than in the +great successes of artist life--seeing the content and even happiness +which some of the hopelessly enthusiastic found in their futile and +endless labor. We used to go to work at six in the morning, draw two +hours and then go to a little _laiterie_ and take our bowl of _cafe au +lait_ and a small loaf of bread, and then draw till noon, when we went +home for the second breakfast. Armitage and myself used to breakfast +at the Palais Royal, or some other quarter where the bill of fare was +by the rest of the men considered luxurious, and we were dubbed the +"aristocrats" of the atelier, my breakfast costing me one franc and a +half and my dinner two francs. I had fixed my expenses, as in London, +at the limit of twenty-five francs a week, which had to pay all the +expenses of atelier, food, and lodging, and it was surprising how much +comfort could then be got for that sum. + +I had found a tiny room in the _maison meublee_ in the Cite d'Antin +where Mrs. Coxe lived, and Mr. Coxe in returning to America had given +me charge of his women folk, so that I had a social resource and a +relief from tedium which gave me no expense. On Sunday the daughter +came home from school, and we all went out to dine at one or another +of the Palais Royal restaurants, or made, in the fine weather, an +excursion into the environs. Now and then, Mrs. Coxe invited me to +take them to the theatre, and thus I saw some of the famous actors, +Rachel and Frederic Lemaitre being still vividly impressed on my +memory. The afternoons of the week days were given to the galleries +and visiting the studios of the painters whose work attracted me, and +who admitted visitors. I thus made the acquaintance of Delacroix, +Gerome, Theodore Rousseau, and by a chance met Delaroche and Ingres; +but Delacroix most interested me, and I made an application to him to +be received as a pupil, which he in a most amiable manner refused, but +he seemed interested in putting me on the right way and gave me such +advice as was in the range of casual conversation. I asked him what, +in his mind, was the principal defect of modern art, as compared with +ancient, and he replied "the execution." He had endeavored to remedy +this in his own case by extensive copying of the old masters, and he +showed me many of the copies--passages of different works, apparently +made with the object of catching the quality of execution. + +In fact, if we consider the differences between the system of +education in painting and that in music or any other art or occupation +in which the highest executive ability is required, we shall see that +we give insufficient opportunity for the painter's hand to acquire the +subtle skill we find in the successful violinist or pianist, and which +is due to the early and incessant practice in the manual operations +of his art. The fact is recognized, that the education of a violinist +must begin in the early years, when the will and hand are flexible, +and not merely the training, but the occupation, is almost exclusive, +for the specialist is made only by a special and relatively exclusive +devotion to the particular faculties which are desired to be trained. +It is useless to attempt to develop the finest qualities of the +draughtsman without the same attention to the condition of training +which we insist on in the musician. The theory may come later, the +intellectual element may develop under many influences, and healthily, +later in life, but the hand is too fine and subtly constituted an +implement to be brought into its best condition and efficiency unless +trained from the beginning to the definite use imposed on it. + +Admitting, therefore, as I do, that the criticism of Delacroix was +just, it is evident that, until we give to the modern student of +painting a similar training to that which the early one had, we cannot +expect him to attain the executive powers of the Italian renaissance, +nor can we be sure that he appreciates the subtlety of the work of the +masters, any more than the member of a village choir can understand +the finesse of the highest order of musical execution, or its first +violinist appreciate the touch of a Joachim or a Sarasate. For it is +just in the last refinement of touch of a Raphael drawing or the rapid +and expressive outline of a Mantegna that we find the analogy between +the two arts, in a refinement of touch which is lost on the public, +and appreciated only by the practiced student either of music or +painting. This final attainment of the hand is only possible to a man +who has been trained as a boy to his work. We find it in a water-color +drawing of Turner, as in a pencil drawing of Raphael, and in the +outlines of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, but in modern figure +painting never, even in France, where the youth generally takes up the +training at fourteen to sixteen. I believe that the reason why this +supreme manual excellence is so completely lacking, even in French +art, that, so far as I know, only Meissonier amongst them has attained +a measure of it, is that the seriousness of life and purpose necessary +for any consummate achievement is so rarely found there in conjunction +with that early and sound training. + +Another acquaintance made in these days, which has always remained a +delight to me, was that of Theodore Rousseau, to my mind the greatest +of the French landscape painters. Though living and working mostly +at Barbison, he had a studio in Paris, and there I used to see +him, always received in the friendly and helpful way which was +characteristic of most of the French artists of the higher order. +Later I went to Barbison, where, besides Rousseau, I knew J.F. Millet, +and a minor, but in his way a very remarkable, painter, Charles +Jacque. Rousseau was a most instructive talker on art, beyond the +sphere of which he hardly seemed to care to go in his thinking. He had +never been out of France, had never seen the Alps, and did not care +for mountain scenery, but concentrated all his feelings and labor on +what he used to call "_sujets intimes_," the picturesque nooks of +landscape one can always find in a highly cultivated country, where +nature is tamed to an intimacy with the domestic spirit, or where she +vainly struggles against the invasion of culture, as in the borders +of the forest of Fontainebleau. In such material, nature withdraws +farther and makes a wider margin for art, and the wedding and welding +of the two become more subtle and playful. + +It has always seemed to me that with all the differences inherent +in the antagonism of the characters of the two men, the essential +features of the art of Rousseau and Turner were the same; pure +impressionism based on the most intimate and largest knowledge of the +facts of nature, but without direct copying of them--rather working +from memoranda or memories, for neither ever painted directly from +nature; the same conception of the subject as a whole, its rhythmic +and harmonic unity as opposed to the fragmentary manner of treatment +of most of their contemporaries; the lyric passion in line and tint; +the same originality which often became waywardness in the conception +of subject in itself; the same revolt from all precedent; and the same +passion for subtle gradation and infinite space, air, and light--and +some of Rousseau's skies were the most vaporous I have ever seen. +These are the fundamental agreements of the art of the two great +masters, and in those qualities no other man of their countries and +epoch has equaled them, but outside of these the contrasts are of the +most pronounced. Pyne told me that Turner said he wished he could do +without trees; Rousseau worshiped them. Turner loved the mountains; +Rousseau never cared to see them and never painted one. Turner, a +colorist, reveled in color like a Bacchanal; Rousseau, a tonalist, +felt it like a vestal; but both had the sense of color in the subtlest +refinement. + +Rousseau used to say that if you had not your picture in the first +five lines you would never have it, and he laid down as a rule that +whenever you worked on it you should go over the whole and keep it +together, growing in all parts _pari passu_. Wishing to give me a +lesson in values one day as he was painting, he turned his palette +over and painted a complete little scheme of a picture on the back of +it, suggested by the subject before us as we looked out of the studio +window. He showed me his studies from nature, mere notes of form and +of local color and pastel. It was to me always a puzzle that, even in +the educated art circles of Paris, Corot should have found so great +a popularity as compared to that of Rousseau. Without in the least +disparaging the greatness of Corot's best work, such for instance as +the St. Sebastian and some other classical subjects, the names of +which I cannot recall, the range of conception and treatment is +limited as compared with that of Rousseau. This alone would give Corot +a lower rank, in the absence of a marked superiority in some special +high quality--superiority which does not exist, for the picked work of +Rousseau possesses technical excellences all its own, as consummate as +anything in the world's landscape art, while the range of treatment +and subject, so much greater in Rousseau than in Corot, puts the +limited and mannered art of the latter as a whole in a distinct +inferiority. + +Of Millet I saw much less, but enough to know the man and his art, +simple and human, the one as the other. His love for manhood in its +most primitive attainable types, those furnished by the peasant, was +the outcome of his conception of art, such as the Greek of the early +schools conceived it, the expression of humanity in a simple and +therefore noble state, and of the honest, open, healthy nature of the +man himself, averse to all sophistication of society, reverent of +an ideal in art, and intolerant of affectations. He conceived and +executed his pictures in the pure Greek spirit, working out his ideal +as his imagination presented it to him, not as the model served him. +The form is of his own day, the spirit of his art that of all time +and of all good art, the elaboration of a type and not merely the +reproduction of a picturesque model. It is the custom now to class all +peasant subjects, emulating the forms of Millet, as belonging to his +art. Nothing is more absurd, for the art of Millet was subjective, not +realistic; it was in the feeling of the art of Phidias and the Italian +renaissance, not in the modern _pose plastique_. The peasant in it was +merely incidental to his sympathy with ideal life. Millet was himself +a peasant, he used to say, and his moral purpose, if he had any, was +the glorification, so far as art can effect it, of his class, the +class which above all others in his eyes dignified humanity and held +his sympathy. This feeling was with him no affectation, but the +deliberate, final conclusion of his life--he reverenced the _sabot_ +and the _blouse_, the implements of tillage and work, as the Greek did +his gods and the implements of war and glory; he saw humanity reduced +to its simplest and most noble physical functions and possibilities, +as the Greek did the perfection of the physical form, but he lacked +the perception of the types of pure beauty of the Greek. + +The personal relations between Rousseau and Millet were in the best +sense of the word fraternal, and from neither did I ever hear a word +to the disparagement of a brother artist, while Rousseau used to talk +in the subtlest vein of critical appreciation of his rivals among the +landscape painters, the Dupres, Ziem, Troyon, and others, so that I +regret that in those days I thought only of my own instruction, and +not of the putting on record the opinions of a man whose ideas of art +were amongst the most exalted I have known. + +A charming nature was that of Troyon, a simple, robust worker, and, +like all the larger characters in the French art world with whom I +became acquainted, full of sympathy and guidance for those who wanted +light and leading. But the lives of these three great painters, like +that of Corot (whom I never knew personally), show how completely the +French public, so proud of its intelligence of art, ignored the best +qualities of it till outsiders pointed to them. Troyon told me that +for the first ten years of his career he had never sold a picture, but +lived by painting for Sevres; the prosperity of Millet came from +the patronage of American collectors, led by the appreciation of +a Bostonian painter, William Hunt, and I well remember his famous +"Sowers" on the highest line in the Salon, so completely skied that +only one who looked for a Millet was likely to see it; while Rousseau, +at the time I speak of, was glad to accept the smallest commission, +and sold mostly to American collectors. Nor is it otherwise with the +Rousseaus, Millets, and Troyons of to-day--the public taste, and the +banal criticism of a journalism at its best the tardy echo of the +opinions of the rare wise man, find genius only when it has ceased to +have the quality of the new and unforeseen. + +Yvon, in whose atelier I worked, was essentially a teacher, and his +more recent assignment to the directorship of the Ecole des Beaux-Arts +put him in his true place, that of a master of style in drawing and +the elements of art instruction. He was engaged, when I knew him, on +the battle-pieces of the Crimean war, the chief of which were already +at Versailles. His was an earnest, indefatigable nature. He was as +kindly and zealous a teacher as if he were receiving, like his +English confreres, a guinea a lesson. Nothing so strongly marked the +difference between the French and the English feeling for art as this +characteristic feature of the disinterestedness of the French artist +in giving instruction without compensation, while his English +colleague of equal distinction gave instruction only at a price +impracticable for a poor artist, if indeed he would give it at any +price. And even thus, the English drawing-master did not teach art, +but facile tricks of the brush. Need one seek any other reason for the +curious fact that, with a marked superiority in the occasional highest +attainment of rare and original abilities which English art shows, +France has become the school of Europe, than that in England the +master will teach only on terms which are prohibitive of the formation +of a school, while in France, with few exceptions, the most eminent +painters regard it as a duty to open their ateliers to pupils often +gratuitously, but in any case freely and on terms which are adaptable +to the modest means of the poorest class of workers? In how different +a position in relation to the art of the world would English art now +be in, had Sir Joshua, Gainsborough, Hogarth, Turner, and two or three +others who could be named, thrown open their studios to the young +enthusiasts who followed them, and the sterling talents which have +never been wanting in England been enabled to profit by the experience +and art of their elders, instead of groping their way alone to +efficiency, or, still worse, going to South Kensington, generally +"arriving" too late to succeed fully! + +Waiting the word from Kossuth which should call me to join the +ever-impending and ever-postponed insurrection, I passed the winter +thus, profiting as I could by all opportunities for the study of art +and making acquaintance with the artists. My money was running to an +end, but this was a matter in which my faith in Providence did not +allow me to borrow trouble, and I made it a rule never to run into +debt. That I never borrowed I cannot say, but I never did so except in +cases where I was in such personal relations with the lender that if I +died without paying the debt, it would neither weigh on him nor on my +conscience. I kept up my regular round of economy and work, and +one Saturday, when I had paid for my dinner at the Palais Royal +restaurant, I found myself with fifty centimes in my pocket, and went +on a long walk in the streets of Paris, to meditate on my immediate +future. Mrs. Coxe, one of the kindest of friends, would, I knew, +gladly lend me what I needed, but I did not allow her to know that I +needed, and how to pay for my next day's dinner I did not see. Still, +confident that something would turn up, I walked towards my lodgings +through the Rue Royale and its arcades, feeling the ten-sou piece in +my pocket, when I saw a young girl dart out from one of the recesses +of the arcade, dragging after her a boy of two or three years, and +then, as if her courage failed, turn and hide herself and him again in +the doorway from which she had come. I saw her case at once,--want and +shame at begging,--went to her and gave her the ten-sou piece, and +went to bed feeling better. + +The next day being Sunday and no atelier, I slept late, and was awaked +by a knock at my door, when to the spoken "Entrez" came in no other +than my friend Dr. Ruggles, between whom and myself there were various +communities of feeling which made us like brothers. He sat down by my +bedside, and, salutations passed, broke out, "Do you want any money?" +His grandfather, just dead, had left him a legacy, and he had come +to Paris, artist-like, to spend it. I took from him, as I would have +given him the half of my last dollar, a hundred francs, and on this I +lived my normal life until, some weeks later, a friend of my brother +arriving from New York with instructions to find me out and provide +for my wants if I had any, supplied me for any probable emergency, +including an order for a free passage home on a steamer of which my +brother was part owner. I waited till the spring homesickness made +it too irksome to live quietly in Paris, and then finding that the +revolution so long waited for had gone by, I went home and to my +painting. + + +In American landscape the element of the picturesque is in a serious +deficiency. What is old is the wild and savage, the backwoods and the +wild mountain, with no trace of human presence or association to give +it sentiment; what is new is still in the crude and angular state in +which the utilities are served, and the comfort of the man and his +belongings most considered. Nothing is less paintable than a New +England village; nothing is more monotonous than the woodland mountain +of any of the ranges of eastern North America. The valley of the +Mohawk is one of the earliest settled and least unpicturesque sections +of the Eastern States, with its old Dutch farmhouses and the winding +of the beautiful river; but I had explored it on foot and in every +direction for miles around my birthplace, and found nothing that +seemed to "make up" save trees and water. I spent one summer after my +return amongst these familiar scenes, but found the few subjects which +repaid study too remote from any habitable centre to repay the labor +needed to get at them. I made long foot excursions through the valleys +of the Connecticut and Housatonic; but, after my experience in rural +England, it was very discouraging to ransack that still unhumanized +landscape for pictures. Everything was too neat and trim, and I +remember that one day, when I was on my search for a "bit," I found +a dilapidated barn which tempted me to sit down before it, when the +farmwife, guessing my intentions, ran out to beg me "not to take the +barn yet; they were going to do it up the next week as good as new, +and wouldn't I wait?" + +An accident drove me to pass one of these summers in as complete +seclusion from society as I could find, and where I should be able to +do nothing but paint. I had been, two years before, hit in the face by +a snow missile, during one of the snowballing saturnalia the New York +roughs indulged in after every fall of snow; in this case the missile +was a huge block of frozen snow-crust, which flattened my nose on my +face and broke the upper maxillary inclosing all the front teeth. I +modeled the nose up on the spot, for it was as plastic as clay, but +the broken bone became carious, and, after enduring for two years the +fear of having my head eaten off by caries, and having resigned the +chance of having it shot off in the revolution, I decided to let my +brother operate. The bone inclosing the front teeth was taken out with +the six teeth, and I was sent into retirement for three months at +least, while the jaw was getting ready for the work of the dentist. + +I had seen, when last in England, the picture by Millais, "The +Proscribed Royalist," which gave me a suggestion of the treatment of +a landscape which should be mainly foreground, such as I particularly +delighted in. Hoping to find a woodland subject which admitted of +this treatment, I went to pass the summer on the farm of an old uncle +(where I had caught my first trout), knowing it to be heavily wooded. +Of course when one goes out to look for a particular thing he never +finds it, nor did I then find the tree subject I wanted, but I found +a little spring under a branching beech and surrounded by mossy +boulders, and, taking a canvas of my usual size,--25x30 inches,--I +gave three months to painting it and carried it home still somewhat +unfinished. It was an attractive subject, though not what I had +wanted, and was hung in one of the best places in the Academy +exhibition, making its mark and mine. It was absolutely +unconventional, and the old stagers did not know what to say of a +picture which was all foreground. There was much discussion, and, +amongst the younger painters, much subsequent emulation; but it +did not find a purchaser at my price--$250. Anything so thoroughly +realistic that, as President Durand said, "The stones seemed to be, +not painting, but the real thing," puzzled the ordinary picture buyer; +and the American Art Union, which was the principal buyer of the +day, and the _dernier ressort_ of the young artist, was managed by a +committee of ordinary picture buyers. The picture gave rise to a hot +discussion when exhibited, the old school of painters denouncing such +slavish imitation of nature. As the negative photographic process had +just then been introduced in America, I had the picture photographed, +and a friend took a print of it to the head of the old school, without +any explanation. My antagonist and critic looked at it carefully and +exclaimed, "What is the use of Stillman making his pre-Raphaelite +studies when we can get such photographs from nature as this!" As I +had my brother's generosity to fall back on, I was not obliged to +sell, and the picture remained in my studio for two or three years. +Later Agassiz saw it and was so delighted with its botany that I +decided to give it to him; but when a fellow painter offered--when I +was leaving again for Europe--to "raffle it off," I allowed him to do +so, and he appropriated the proceeds. I had made a rule of giving the +pictures which were not sold in the exhibition to the person who +had shown the finest appreciation of them,--a habit which did not +contribute to pecuniary success, but which helped my _amour propre_, +and I have always regretted not having sent that picture to Agassiz, +who, in later years, became one of my best friends. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +SPIRITISM + + +During the subsequent winter the subject of spiritism occupied the +world of the curious and the thoughtful a good deal; and, with my +brother Paul, who was a disciple of Swedenborg, I took every occasion +that offered to investigate it. Many of my friends were interested in +it, and I soon became convinced that it was not the foolish delusion +which the scientific world and most religious people pronounced it. In +fact, if there be any basis of reality in the phenomena, it is hard to +conceive a subject of such vital importance as the determination of +the actuality of an individual existence after the physical death. It +had always been evident to me that the immense majority of men had no +real belief in human immortality, all their pursuits and acquisitions +being of a purely material character. My own convictions were +ingrained and immovable, but a physical demonstration of their verity +seemed to me an eminently desirable result, if attainable, and I +entered into the investigation with earnestness and all my patience. +Society was largely occupied by the table-tippings and the "rappings." +"Circles" were forming amongst all classes, and the mediums became an +important element in the world of New York. I very soon came to the +conclusion that the professional, paid mediums were, in many cases, +the worst kind of impostors, and, in all cases, so far as any +intellectual evidence was concerned, of an absurd triviality. Even in +the private circles, where no trace of fraud could be suspected, the +good faith of all entering them being assured, I found sometimes such +extraordinary credulity that the subject would have been offensive to +any dispassionate investigator who was not, like myself, determined to +get to the bottom of it. The majority of the persons who entered into +a circle were ready to believe any extraordinary thing that came to +them, and the inanity of the general proceedings, even when fraud was +excluded, was sufficient to indispose serious people to take part +in them. To me the question had such vital importance that I was +determined that neither fraud nor the inconsequent nature of the +pretended communications should dissuade me from the most thorough +investigation possible. + +This investigation lasted several years, and included, to greater or +less extent, every form of psychological and physical phenomenon which +was offered by spiritism. My experience with the professional mediums +was such that I soon ceased to pay any attention to them, finding +that, what with the frivolity of their utterances and the evident +imposture which, in the case of some of them, invariably marked the +display of their powers, the sittings were simply farcical; nor did I +ever find, in the doings of the mediums, or in the revelations of the +regular spiritistic circles (and I sat in the most important one of +them, that over which Judge Edmonds presided, during the two winters) +in which no paid medium took part, anything which was not, or could +not have been, imposture. + +The reason is simple. The professional medium, paid to display certain +powers, which are in any case extremely uncertain in their response to +the call for them, invariably begins to imitate them when they fail. +The mediums are invariably persons of an inferior order of intellect, +avid of notoriety, and mostly mercenary, so that the results of the +consultations with them were almost sufficient to deter serious-minded +people from dealing with them a second time, while the people who +formed the regular circles and had made a sect with a devotional +character in it, rapidly degenerated into a credulity and materialism +which were more discouraging than the most arid skepticism. Physical +phenomena which met every demand for absolute guarantee of their +genuineness, were very rare, and to meet with them required great +patience and persistence, while the scientific student, in the habit +of dealing with experiments that had definite results, obeying known +or conjectured laws, if entering into an investigation which met at +the threshold a frivolous, and possibly fraudulent, "manifestation," +threw up the subject, the more readily that in general the student of +physical science has no sympathy with psychical research. + +Recognizing the correctness of this attitude and the unreliability +as well as the utter want of essential importance in the physical +manifestations and the invariable inconsequence and silliness of +the intellectual results, I withdrew entirely from circles in which +mediums took part or in which physical phenomena were sought for, and +limited my investigations to the cases in which the good faith of all +the company was unquestionable, and the investigation conducted +in privacy and sincerity. Here, of course, there was still great +uncertainty, and often the most curious triviality and low +intelligence, but we were able to check the possible tendency to the +simulation of the supra-normal activity. And even so the character +of the "manifestation" was generally so trivial and opposed to all +preconceived ideas of spiritual intelligence as to justify the +conclusion that the departed had left their wits behind them, so that +even in those "circles" which included only personal friends and +individuals of unquestionable sincerity the results rarely had any +intellectual importance. And I came to the conclusion that that form +of the phenomena which alone gave any intellectual result, i.e. which +manifested ideas in any way transcending the commonplace capacities +of commonplace minds, had nothing in common with the physical +manifestations, but seemed rather to consist in an exaltation of +the intellectual powers of the subject, so that the evidence of any +supra-normal power was rather moral than scientific, and had value +only according to the relation between the subject and the hearer, and +therefore no determinable value to physical science. + +The most remarkable of the subjects of this character with whom I +became acquainted, which was during the later years of this study, was +Mrs. H.K. Brown, the wife of our ablest sculptor of that day. Mrs. +Brown was, apart from the peculiar powers she possessed, one of +the most remarkable women I have ever known, both morally and +intellectually, and the peculiar mental powers she manifested were +well known to all the large and thoughtful circle of friends which +gathered round her. No physical "manifestation" took place in her +presence, and we never "sat" as a "circle," but her telepathic and +thought-reading powers in ordinary social intercourse were most +surprising. She answered readily any questions proposed in the minds +of her interlocutors, often even before they were completely formed, +and she possessed the power attributed to Zschokke, of reading, or +seeing, past events in the lives of those who were placed _en rapport_ +with her. Bryant, the poet, assured me that she had recounted to him +events in his past life not known to any living person except himself, +and I had, myself, the evidence that in her presence there was nothing +in my past life beyond her perception. On simple contact with a letter +from an unknown person she gave me the most remarkable analysis of the +character of the writer, and though this evidence is always open to +criticism, the disclosures she made were sometimes surprising. I gave +her one day a letter of Ruskin without disclosing the authorship, and +in the course of a long analysis she said that the writer was not +married, to which I replied that in this she was mistaken, and she +rejoined, "Then he ought _not_ to be." At that time Mr. and Mrs. +Ruskin were, so far as I knew, living together, and no rumor of their +incompatibility had come about. + +Mrs. Brown explained the possession of her occult powers by a voice in +the manner of Socrates's demon, which, she said, was always present +with her, and which she recognized as entirely foreign to her. She +repeated what she heard, word for word as the words came, hesitating +and sometimes leaving a sentence incomplete, not hearing the sequence. +When she asked who was speaking to her, she received only the reply, +"We are spirit," and no indication of personality was ever offered. On +one occasion, when Mr. and Mrs. Brown were on a fishing trip into the +wild parts of New York State, and, returning, were on their way to the +railway station, the wheel of their wagon broke and they had to go to +a blacksmith on the road to have it repaired. She said to her husband +that they would lose the train, to which the voice replied that they +would be in time, for the train was late and they would arrive with a +minute to spare. And in fact as they drew up at the station the train +came in sight and they had a minute to spare. There were many +such instances in which Mrs. Brown showed to the circle of her +acquaintances, which was large and included many of the most +intellectual minds of the artistic and literary world whose centre was +New York, the possession of powers "not dreamed of in our philosophy," +but, as she carefully avoided notoriety, they never came under public +notice. Her husband implicitly and always followed the directions +given her through her demon. + +In one of the social gatherings which grew out of the study of +spiritism was a lady who, like myself, was a convinced believer in the +reality of the phenomena, but skeptical as to the value and personal +origin of the communications made in the "circles." Her daughter, +a child of seven, was in fact a hypnotic clairvoyant of singular +lucidity, and my brother, Dr. Jacob Stillman, obtained from the mother +permission to have a private seance, only the mother and child, the +doctor, and myself being present. I hypnotized the girl Fanny, and +when she opened her eyes in the hypnotic state the doctor made the +usual tests for coma, exposing the eyes to the sudden glare of a +brilliant light, sticking pins into her flesh, and so forth, and +pronounced the coma absolute when, as he stuck a pin in her arm, she +spoke, saying, "I wouldn't do that, it might hurt Fanny!" I asked if +she felt it, and she replied, "She does not feel it now, but she might +when she wakes." "But who are you?" I asked. She replied, "Oh, don't +you know? I am Dora." The mother informed us that a young playmate +of Fanny's, whose name was Dora Greenleaf, had died some months +previously, and that the impersonation through Fanny was always in +that name. + +The physical test being declared conclusive by the doctor, I asked +"Dora" to tell me if there was any spirit friend of ours present, to +which she replied that there was a lady there who gave her name as +"Kate," and whom she described in terms sufficiently correct to +indicate a deceased cousin whose name was Catherine, familiarly called +Kate in the family, and this was followed by the names and +description of other relatives, all correct as far as names and such +identification could go; but to this kind of demonstration I could +never attach any importance as to personality, which is indeed a +point as to which I have found that reliance can rarely be placed on +affirmation, and as to which absolute proof can scarcely be given. As +in the case of Mrs. Brown, she replied with lucidity and promptness to +every interrogation, and I then began a series of mental questions, +being sure at least that the child could not draw from the question +matter for an indicated reply. She replied promptly to my questions, +and from time to time I explained to my brother what had been asked, +that he might follow the conversation. After several relatives had +been named, I asked if our brother Alfred was there, to which she +instantly replied, "There is a gentleman sitting on the corner of +the table by you who says his name is Alfred." The opportunity then +occurred to me of asking a "test question," which was, "If Alfred is +here, will he tell me when he last saw Harvey?" The relevance of this +question will appear from the fact that they were together on the +steamer whose boiler burst on the Mississippi, killing my brother and +causing injury to the cousin such that he committed suicide a month +later. The reply was, "He says he does not remember." At this I +remarked guardedly to the doctor, "I asked Alfred when he last saw +Harvey, and he replies that he doesn't remember, but he must have +seen him on board the boat." To this she instantly replied, with an +explosive laugh, "He says that if he did it was all blown out of him!" +I will only comment on this reply, that it was quite in accordance +with the character of my brother to joke on the most serious +subjects--he was an inveterate joker. + +At this juncture, and while we discussed the strange reply, Fanny +exclaimed, "There is a young gentleman coming through the window; he +says his name is Harry--no," she added, holding her ear forward in the +direction she indicated as if to hear better, "not Harry, _Harvey_." I +then asked, "If Harvey is here, will he tell me if he was with me in +Paris, last winter?" She replied, "Yes, he says he was with you in +Paris, and that he saw you in the house where you lived with Mrs. +Fox--no, not Fox, Coxe--Mrs. Coxe--and he asks if you remember +magnetizing Mrs. Coxe at the restaurant?" Mrs. Coxe, as I have said +previously, was the lady from Alabama whose acquaintance, as well +as that of her husband and their young daughter, I had made when +traveling with them through Belgium, on my way to Hungary, and whom +Mr. Coxe, when he returned on business to America, left under my +protection for the winter. Mrs. Coxe was subject to violent and sudden +headaches, which came without warning, and for which during our trip +on the Meuse I had once hypnotized her successfully. This led to my +being called on subsequently so often that she became an easy subject, +and the headaches became less and less frequent and violent. I have +before said that it was our custom on Sunday to dine together at some +one of the restaurants, and on one of these occasions the headache +came on as we sat at the table and I hypnotized her across the table, +by simple exertion of my will without passes, and it passed off. The +incident was not in my mind, and had, not to cause gossip, never been +mentioned by me to any one; my mind was acting at the moment in quite +a different direction, and if my thought gave any clue to the answers +of Fanny, it would have been in another direction that she would have +looked. What was singular and accounted for by no evident circumstance +was the manner of the child in listening for the names which she had +clearly heard incorrectly--Harry for Harvey, and Fox for Coxe, and +after holding her ear forward as would one who heard imperfectly +something said to him. No forethought or attempt at deception on the +part of a child of seven under the eye of her mother, who was a woman +of singular sincerity of character, can be admitted to account for +these details in the dialogue, conducted on my part, be it remembered, +entirely by mental inquiries. + +The evident fatigue of the child put an end to the seance. Neither +the mother nor Fanny knew at that time anything of my relatives, our +acquaintance being then of recent date, but our intimacy with the +family in after years enables me to say that any attempt at deception +is out of the question. Fanny died not long after of consumption, as +did the mother and two other children, one of whom, an elder sister, +had been influenced in the same manner as Miss A., who will be +mentioned later, but had never consented to take part in the +manifestations, which she regarded with great repugnance. While +sitting with us _en petit comite_, she used sometimes to be seized +with a convulsive and involuntary effort of her hand to write, but she +always refused to submit to the influence. Fanny in her normal state +showed no indications of mediumistic powers, nor did the mother. + +During the investigation, we heard of a remarkable case in the circle +of our own acquaintance which had been kept from public knowledge as +far as possible by the aversion to publicity of the father of the +subject, my brother's chief foreman. She was a girl of fourteen, of a +timid and nervous organization, who had suffered great annoyance by +the persistence of the rappings about her wherever she might be; +at first in her bedroom, but finally to her great dismay in the +class-rooms of the primary public school of New York, in which she +held the position of assistant teacher and where she conducted the +recitations. The rappings caused such fright amongst the school +children that she was menaced with dismissal if they did not cease. +She implored the agency which was responsible for the sounds to leave +her alone at school and do what seemed best to it at home, and the +rappings did actually cease at school. As her father was a man +well-to-do in circumstances and annoyed by the occurrence, he +silenced the gossip about the matter as well as he could, and gave an +inflexible denial to the request for a seance which came from friends +who by chance heard of it. My brother Paul, who was a fellow-foreman +in the iron works, got permission, however, for a seance at which he +and I only were to be present with the girl. The phenomena were so +strange that I got permission for a repetition at which only my +brother Jacob and myself were present, and we preserved the notes of +what passed. + +Miss A., as I shall call her, told us in detail the development of the +case. After having been for some time troubled by the rappings she +began to feel involuntary motions in her right hand which increased to +constantly recurring violent exercise of the muscles, when it occurred +to her from the character of the motions that the hand wanted a pencil +to write and she laid paper and a pencil on the table. Her hand then +took possession of the pencil and began to scrawl aimlessly over the +paper until, after the interval of many days, the agency seemed to +have sufficient control over the muscles to form legible letters. This +was a source of amusement to her, and, at the time we made our entry +into the investigation, the hand wrote legibly and neatly in reply to +mental, i.e. unspoken, questions, she having no control of the muscles +so long as the "influence," which was the name she applied to whatever +it might be, chose to use it. She knew what was written only when the +writing was finished and she read it, as we did; and the writing was, +as we found by experiment, quite as regular and well formed when her +eyes were bandaged as when she was looking at her work. As a further +test of the involuntary character of this we not only tried her with +her eyes bandaged, but by my brother talking with her from one side of +the table, while she was writing in reply to my mental questions on +the other; she talked with him on one subject at the same moment in +which she wrote to me on another. + +In what was given under these circumstances she wrote for us the +replies in conversations with what purported to be the spirits of +three deceased relatives, the wife of my brother, my brother Alfred, +and cousin Harvey, who had for several years been my most intimate +and beloved friend; and the handwriting of the three series of +communication was a better imitation of their writing than I, knowing +it, could have produced. That of my sister-in-law I was not so +familiar with, though my brother recognized it as that of his wife, +but that of our brother was a perfect reproduction down to the +smallest accidents, and that which was given as the responses of +my cousin equally so, and executed with a rapidity of which I was +incapable--a large scrawling hand, that of our brother being of a +character entirely opposed, slowly and laboriously formed, with +occasional omissions of the last line of a final _n_, quite common in +his writing. The girl had never known either of these relatives. One +of the questions I asked when conversing with Harvey was, "Will you +tell me how you died?" to which the only reply was a fixed stare on +the part of Miss A., though every other question was answered, by +pantomime, affirmative or negative signs, or writing, and always in +writing when it was insisted on. Miss A.'s pantomimic powers in this +state exceeded anything I have ever seen in professional pantomime, +and she employed them largely. + +At the conclusion of the questions and replies with Harvey, I asked if +he had seen old Turner, the landscape painter, since his death, which +had taken place not very long before. The reply was "Yes," and I then +asked what he was doing, the reply being a pantomime of painting. I +then asked if Harvey could bring Turner there, to which the reply was, +"I do not know; I will go and see," upon which Miss A. said, "This +influence is going away--it is gone;" and after a short pause added, +"There is another influence coming, in that direction," pointing over +her left shoulder. "I don't like it," and she shuddered slightly, but +presently sat up in her chair with a most extraordinary personation of +the old painter in manner, in the look out from under the brow and the +pose of the head. It was as if the ghost of Turner, as I had seen him +at Griffiths's, sat in the chair, and it made my flesh creep to +the very tips of my fingers, as if a spirit sat before me. Miss A. +exclaimed, "This influence has taken complete possession of me, as +none of the others did. I am obliged to do what it wants me to." I +asked if Turner would write his name for me, to which she replied by +a sharp, decided negative sign. I then asked if he would give me some +advice about my painting, remembering Turner's kindly invitation and +manner when I saw him. This proposition was met by the same decided +negative, accompanied by the fixed and sardonic stare which the girl +had put on at the coming of the new influence. This disconcerted me, +and I then explained to my brother what had been going on, as, the +questions being mental, he had no clue to the pantomime. I said that +as an influence which purported to be Turner was present, and refused +to answer any questions, I supposed there was nothing more to be done. + +But Miss A. still sat unmoved and helpless, so we waited. Presently +she remarked that the influence wanted her to do something, she knew +not what, only that she had to get up and go across the room, which +she did with the feeble step of an old man. She crossed the room and +took down from the wall a colored French lithograph, and, coming to +me, laid it on the table before me, and by gesture called my attention +to it. She then went through the pantomime of stretching a sheet of +paper on a drawing-board, then that of sharpening a lead pencil, +following it up by tracing the outlines of the subject in the +lithograph. Then followed in similar pantomime the choosing of a +water-color pencil, noting carefully the necessary fineness of the +point, and then the washing-in of a drawing, broadly. Miss A. seemed +much amused by all this, but as she knew nothing of drawing she +understood nothing of it. Then with the pencil and her pocket +handkerchief she began taking out the lights, "rubbing-out," as the +technical term is. This seemed to me so contrary to what I conceived +to be the execution of Turner that I interrupted with the question, +"Do you mean to say that Turner rubbed out his lights?" to which she +gave the affirmative sign. I asked further if in a drawing which I +then had in my mind, the well-known "Llanthony Abbey," the central +passage of sunlight and shadow through rain was done in that way, and +she again gave the affirmative reply, emphatically. I was so firmly +convinced to the contrary that I was now persuaded that there was a +simulation of personality, such as was generally the case with the +public mediums, and I said to my brother, who had not heard any of my +questions, that this was another humbug, and then repeated what had +passed, saying that Turner could not have worked in that way. After +this I did not care to follow the conversation further. + +My object in maintaining the mental questioning was, of course, to +prevent Miss A. from getting any clue to the meaning of the questions, +and I carried the precaution so far as not to look at her while +forming the questions in my mind. I also ascertained that she knew +nothing of drawing, or of Turner; but while I could not resist the +evidence of a mental activity absolutely independent of that of Miss +A., I was convinced that there was no question of actual identity. +Both the doctor and I were, however, satisfied that on the part of +Miss A. there was no attempt at deception, and that the phenomenon, +whatever might be the case as to identity, was a genuine manifestation +of an intelligence independent of that of the girl. Six weeks later I +sailed for England, and, on arriving in London, I went at once to see +Ruskin, and told him the whole story. He declared the contrariness +manifested by the medium to be entirely characteristic of Turner, and +had the drawing in question down for examination. We scrutinized it +closely, and both recognized beyond dispute that the drawing had been +executed in the way that Miss A. indicated. Ruskin advised me to send +an account of the affair to the "Cornhill," which I did; but it was +rejected, as might have been expected in the state of public opinion +at that time, and I can easily imagine Thackeray putting it into the +basket in a rage. + +I offer no interpretation of the facts which I have here recorded, +but I have no hesitation in saying that they completed and fixed my +conviction of the existence of invisible and independent intelligences +to which the phenomena were due. The question of the identity of these +intelligences--which we may, without prejudging their nature, +leaving that to be determined by more complete experiences, consider +_disembodied_--with the persons in the flesh whose names they use, is +one on which I have great difficulty in forming a conclusion, though, +as a rule, my experience in "circles" has been that the imposture was +too gross to deceive a person of ordinary intellectual power. The two +cases which I have related in the foregoing pages are the only ones in +which I have ever been able to find the color of an identification, +and of the probability of this I leave the reader to judge. More on +the internal than on the external evidence, I consider the probability +in the two cases narrated to be in favor of the identity; beyond that +I am unwilling to go. + +Of the actuality of a disembodied and individual being which, for want +of more intelligence of its nature, we call a "spirit," I have no more +doubt than I have of my own embodied and individual existence. If, +to my philosophic and skeptical critics, this is an indication of +intellectual weakness, and excites contempt of my faculties, I cannot +help it. I will be honest with myself and the world, have the courage +of my convictions, and take the consequences; and I am of the opinion +that, if all the cultivated minds which, having studied the subject, +agree with me in my conclusions were to be as frank as I am, there +would be a large body of witnesses in accord with me. If the inference +of a disembodied intelligence, as the source of such phenomena, is +difficult of acceptation, that of fraud and collusion is inadmissible, +and that of hallucination more difficult than that of the spiritual +origin. Of the different hypotheses, then, I take that which seems the +most satisfactory one in view of the ascertained facts. But "seeing is +believing," and I can fully appreciate the incredulity of reasonable +minds as to phenomena which are not in line with our ordinary +experience of life, and which, at the same time, are of extreme +rarity, and require, for their investigation and actual observation, +great patience and the sacrifice of much time and the exercise of much +tolerance, surrounded, as the subject is, by gross charlatanry and +fraud. But if the beginnings of physical life are worth the years of +patient study which science has accorded them, I must believe that the +final issue of it is worth the time and study needed to arrive at such +results as would, I am convinced, finally crown them. If it were worth +while, I could, I am persuaded, define, _a priori_, the lines of +investigation along which we should move, but each investigator will +choose his own route, and better so. + +Two conclusions I draw from my investigations as immovably +established, so far as I am concerned. The first is that there are +about us, and with certain facilities for making themselves understood +by us, spiritual individualities; and, second, that the human being +possesses spiritual senses, parallel with the physical, by which it +sees what the physical sense cannot see, and hears what is inaudible +to the physical ear. And my general and, I think, logical conclusion +is that the spiritual senses appertain to a spiritual body which +survives the death of the physical. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +LIFE IN THE WILDERNESS + + +Under the stimulus, in part, of the desire for something out of the +ordinary line of subject for pictures, and in part from the hope that +going into the "desert" might quicken the spiritual faculties so +tantalized by the experience of the circles, I decided to pass the +next summer in the great primeval forest in the northern part of New +York State, known as the Adirondack wilderness. It was then little +known or visited; a few sportsmen and anglers had penetrated it, but +for the most part it was known only to the lumberers. Here and there, +at intervals of ten to twenty miles, there were log houses, some of +which gave hospitality in the summer to the sportsmen, and in the +winter to the "loggers" who worked for the great lumber companies. It +was a tract of a hundred miles, more or less, across, mainly unbroken +wildwood, cut up by rapid rivers, impossible of navigation, otherwise +than by canoes and light skiffs which could be carried from one sheet +of water to another on the backs of the woodsmen, around the cascades, +and over tracts of intervening land through virgin forests, without +roads, and, to a large extent, without paths. I hoped here to find new +subjects for art, spiritual freedom, and a closer contact with the +spiritual world--something beyond the material existence. I was +ignorant of the fact that art does not depend on a subject, nor +spiritual life on isolation from the rest of humanity, and I found, +what a correct philosophy would have before told me, nature with no +suggestion of art, and the dullest form of intellectual or spiritual +existence. + +One of my artist friends--S.R. Gifford, landscape painter, like myself +on the search for new subjects--had been, the year before, to the +Saranac Lakes, and gave me the clue to the labyrinth, and I found on +Upper Saranac Lake a log cabin, inhabited by a farmer whose family +consisted of a wife, a son, and a daughter. There I enjoyed a +backwoods hospitality at the cost of two dollars a week for board +and lodging, and passed the whole summer, finding a subject near the +cabin, at which I painted assiduously for nearly three months. I +passed the whole day in the open air, wore no hat, and only cloth +shoes, hoping that thus the spiritual life would have easier access to +me. I carried no gun, and held the lives of beast and bird sacred, +but I drew the line at fishing, and my rod and fly-book provided in a +large degree the food of the household; for trout swarmed. I caught in +an hour, during that summer, in a stream where there has not been a +trout for years, as large a string as I could carry a mile. All +the time that I was not painting I was in the boat on the lake, or +wandering in the forest. + +My quest was an illusion. The humanity of the backwoods was on a +lower level than that of a New England village--more material if less +worldly; the men got intoxicated, and some of the women--nothing less +like an apostle could I have found in the streets of New York. I saw +one day a hunter who had come into the woods with a motive in some +degree like mine--impatience of the restraints and burdens of +civilization, and pure love of solitude. He had become, not +bestialized, like most of the men I saw, but animalized--he had +drifted back into the condition of his dog, with his higher intellect +inert. He had built himself a cabin in the depth of the woods, and +there he lived in the most complete isolation from human society he +could attain. He interested me greatly, and as he stopped for +the night at the cabin where I was living, we had considerable +conversation. He cared nothing for books, but enjoyed nature, and only +hunted in order to live, respecting the lives of his fellow-creatures +within that limit. He only went to the "settlements" when he needed +supplies, abstained from alcoholic drinks, the great enemy of the +backwoodsman, and was happy in his solitude. As he was the first man +I had ever met who had attempted the solution of the problem which so +interested me,--the effect of solitude on the healthy intellect,--I +encouraged him to talk, which he was inclined to do when he found that +there was a real sympathy between us on this question. + +He seemed to have no desire for companionship, but there was nothing +morose or misanthropic in his love of seclusion, and I soon saw that, +though he had no care for intellectual growth and no longing for +books, he thought a good deal in his own way, and that, mingled with +his limited thinking and tranquil emotion before nature, there was a +large element of spiritual activity, and this had kept him mentally +alive. He had heard of spiritism, and his own experience led him to +acceptance of its reality. In his solitary life, in the unbroken +silence which reigned around him, he heard mysterious voices, and only +the year before he had heard one say that he was wanted at home. He +paid no attention to it, thinking it only an illusion, but, after an +interval, it was repeated so distinctly that he packed his knapsack, +took his dog, and went out with the intention of going home. On the +way he met a messenger sent after him, who told him that his brother +had met with an accident which disabled him from all work, and begged +him to come to his assistance. The voice had come to him at the time +of the accident. As a rule, however, the voices seemed vagarious, +and he attached no importance to them, except as phenomena which +interested him slightly. There was nothing flighty about him, no +indication of monomania--he reasoned well, but from the point of view +of a man who has had only an elementary education, knowing nothing +of philosophy; he had no religious crotchets, and apparently thought +little or not at all on religious matters--was, in fine, a natural and +healthy man, a despiser of alcohol, satisfied with the moment he lived +in, and giving no consideration to that which would come after. He +had a great contempt for his fellow woodsmen and avoided contact with +them. + +The backwoods life, as a rule, I found led to hard drinking, and even +the old settler with whom I had taken quarters, though an excellent +and affectionate head of his family, and in his ordinary life +temperate and hard-working, used at long intervals to break bounds, +and, taking his savings down to the settlement, drink till he could +neither pay for more nor "get it on trust," and then come home +penitent and humiliated. About two weeks after I entered the family, +the old man took me aside and informed me, mysteriously, that he was +going to the settlement for a few days, and begged me to take one of +the boats and come down for him on a fixed day, and he would row the +boat back. I rowed down accordingly, sixteen miles, and found Johnson +at the landing in a state of fading intoxication, money and credit +exhausted as usual, and begging some one to give him a half pint of +rum "to ease up on." He was "all on fire inside of him," and begged +so piteously that I got him a half pint and we started out, he at +the oars and I steering. A copious draught of rum, neat, brought his +saturated brain to overflow, and before we had gone a mile he was so +drunk that I had to guide the oars from behind to insure their taking +the water. Then he broke out into singing, beating time on the gunwale +of the boat with such violence that it menaced capsizing every minute, +and to all my remonstrances he replied by jeering and more uproarious +jollity. + +It was no joke, for not to talk of him, too drunk even to hold on to +the boat, I was a poor swimmer, and in the deep and cold lake water +should never have reached the shore swimming, and I found myself +obliged to menace violence. I raised the steering paddle over his head +and assured him with a savageness that reached even his drunken brain, +that I should knock him on the head and pitch him overboard if he did +not keep perfectly quiet. There was imminent danger, for the slight +boat of that region requires to be treated with the care of a bark +canoe, and the menace cowed him so that he quieted down, and watched +me like a whipped dog. I tried to get the bottle away from him, but +his drunken cunning anticipated me and he put it far behind him, now +and then taking a mouthful of rum to keep down the burning. Thus, he +pulling and I guiding the oars, we ran through the lower lake, seven +miles, to a "carry," where the boat had to be lifted out and carried +over into the river above, around a waterfall. Here I fortunately +caught the bottle and sent it down the lake, and we labored on through +another lake, three miles, and up a crooked river to another carry +into the third lake, on which we lived. He was too drunk still to be +trusted any further, and, leaving the boat at the landing with him +beside it, I carried the load over and waited for him to get sober. +After an interval, long enough I thought for him to grow sober +enough to carry the boat, I went back and to my amazement he met me, +apparently in his right mind, intensely indignant with some one who, +having found him in the state of intoxication in which I left him, had +given him a drink of what he called "high wines," i.e. common alcohol, +the singular effect of which was to bring him immediately to his +senses, and we reached home without further incident. + +That night, somewhere near midnight, poor Mrs. Johnson awoke me, +begging piteously that I would help her and her daughter to search for +her husband, who had disappeared from the house. Then she told me +that he had the habit of falling into desperate melancholy after his +drunken fits, and had even attempted suicide, and they had on one +occasion cut the rope by which he had hanged himself, barely in time, +and she always expected to find him dead somewhere. We ransacked the +house, the loft, the barn, the stable, in all their corners, every +shed and nook about the premises and were returning hopeless, to +wait for daylight to look for him in the lake, when, as I passed the +wood-yard (where the fire-wood was stored and chopped), I heard a +groan, and, guided by it, found him lying amongst the chips in the +torpor of drunken sleep. The poor wife, with my assistance, dragged +him home and put him to bed, and when I saw him the next morning +I heard over and over again his vows and resolutions, his sermons +against drink, his repentance and pledges never to touch liquor again. +When I showed incredulity, he offered to bet with me his best yoke of +oxen against one hundred dollars that he never would drink another +drop as long as he lived. I thought the bet a safe one for me, at all +events, and took it and made him write it down, and it probably kept +him from another spree as long as I remained there, but when I saw him +again the next summer he was as drunk as ever. I asked him about my +oxen, and he leered and jeered and joked with drunken cunning, but +said nothing more. + +I passed a very happy summer, enjoying my work and wandering in the +forest or exploring the streams which flowed into the lake, for +subjects. The pure air and the tranquillity of the life, as well as +its simplicity, and a certain amount of boating exercise which I went +through every day in going to my subject, brought me to the highest +point of physical health I had ever known. + +The great danger to the uninitiated in the forest life is that of +getting lost in this wild maze of trees, with no kind of landmark to +serve as a clue. Not a few rash beginners have become bewildered, lost +all conception of their whereabouts, and perished of starvation within +a short walk of a place of refuge. The houses there were invariably +built by the waterways, and the lines of communication were by water, +so that there was no necessity for roads. One finds the "runways" or +paths made by the deer traversing the woods in every direction,--a +perfect labyrinth of byways, ending nowhere and often bringing the +incautious wanderer, who supposes them to be paths, back to his +starting-place, with the result that he is at once bewildered beyond +recovery. + +Years before, during one of my college vacations, I had made a fishing +excursion to the northern edge of the great woods, in company with +a classmate to the manner born, and had learned the need in my +excursions of precautions against the bewilderment which follows +the loss of one's sense of direction. He told me of one of the +inexperienced assistants of a surveying party of which he was a +member, engaged in running a township line in the trackless forest, +who ventured to leave the line a few minutes, and, before he could +recover it, though only a short distance from his party, had become +quite insane, and could only be compelled to return with his +companions by force. An artist friend who had sketched on the southern +border of the Wilderness told me of a similar experience of an English +shoemaker who came to settle in a village on the southern edge of the +woods, and who, after a short residence, went out to fish in a stream +not far from home. He did not return, and, though protracted search +was made for him, no trace of him, nor even of his clothing, was ever +discovered, except that a resident in a neighboring village said that, +a day or two after the stranger had disappeared, a man answering to +the description came to his door, his clothes in tatters, and, in a +wild and incoherent manner, asked the way to the village from which he +had gone, but, before any reply could be made, started off running and +disappeared in the woods again. He had contracted the woods madness +and so perished. + +Of this danger I was well informed, and, beside, I was more or less +a child of the woodlands, and had no apprehension of it, having, +moreover, an implicit faith in what I considered a kind of spiritual +guidance in all I did,--a delusion which at least served to keep me in +absolute self-control under all circumstances. It was probably this +which kept me during my wanderings from falling into the panic which +constituted the real danger, depriving the victim temporarily of the +use of his reasoning powers. I had, however, an interesting experience +which gave me a clearer comprehension of the phenomenon, which is a +very curious one. + +One of the woodsmen had told me of a waterfall on a trout stream of +considerable size which emptied into a lake near by us, and, in the +hope of finding a subject in it, I took the boat one afternoon and +began to follow the course of the stream up from the mouth. After +a half mile of clear and navigable water it became so clogged with +fallen trees that more lifting than paddling was required, and, as its +course was extremely tortuous, I occasionally got out and examined the +vicinity of the stream bed and the course above, if, perchance, +there might be better navigation beyond. On one of the digressions I +suddenly came on the stream running back on its previous course and +parallel to it. Instantly, in the twinkling of an eye, the entire +landscape seemed to have changed its bearings,--the sun, which was +clear in the sky, it being about three o'clock, shone to me out of +the north, and it was impossible to convince myself that my senses +deceived me, or accept the fact that the sun must be in the southwest, +the general direction from which the stream was flowing, and that, to +get home again, I must turn my back to it, if I had lost my boat, as +seemed certain. Then began to come over me, like an evil spell, the +bewilderment and the panic which accompanied it. Fortunately, I +recognized this panic from the experiences I knew of, and was aware +that if I gave way to it I was a lost man, beyond any finding by the +woodsmen, even if they attempted to track me. + +Fresh wolf tracks were plenty all along the bank of the stream; +panthers and bears abounded in that section, and the wilderness +beyond me was never explored, and hardly penetrable, so dense was the +undergrowth of dwarf firs and swamp cedars. I had one terrible moment +of clear consciousness that if I went astray at that juncture no human +being would ever know where I was, and the absolute necessity of +recovering my sense of the points of compass was clear to me. By a +strong effort of the will, I repressed the growing panic, sat down on +a log and covered my face with my hands, and waited, I had no idea +how long, but until I felt quite calm; and when I looked out on the +landscape again I found the sun in his proper place and the landscape +as I had known it. I walked back to my boat without difficulty and +went home, and I never lost my head again while I frequented the +wilderness. I grew in time to know the points of the compass, even +when the sky was covered, and often came home from my excursions after +sunset without confusion, but I know that I then owed my escape from +the most terrible of deaths entirely to my presence of mind, and this +I probably owed then, and always, to that supreme confidence in the +protection of a superior power which never deserted me. + +My studies in spiritism had developed in me another feeling which was +kin to this--a belief in a spiritual insight, the possession of which +would always, if entire confidence were placed in it, tell one at the +moment what should be done; an intuition which would guide him, but +only on the condition that it was trusted absolutely. And at that +period of my life I followed it with unfaltering trust. A curious +illustration of this state of mind and its effect had already occurred +to me in the spring, and, as it relates to this topic and involves a +very curious psychological phenomenon, I describe it in connection +with the so similar experience of the backwoods. I had made an +engagement with Mr. Brown, the sculptor, to meet him on the trout +brook that ran through my uncle's farm in Rensselaer County, New York, +a hundred and fifty miles from New York city, but I lost the last +train by which I should have met him at the appointed time,--daybreak +of the following day. Determined to keep the engagement, I took a +parallel railway, which ran through western Massachusetts and a +section of country which was entirely strange to me. From the station +at which I left the railway, that of Pittsfield, there was a distance +of several miles to the place of rendezvous, which was in the town +of Hancock, close to the boundary line between New York and +Massachusetts. On leaving the station I inquired the way to Hancock, +and was told that as the crow flies, i.e. across an intervening +mountain, it was twelve miles without even a footpath; but, by +the road around the mountain, twenty, and that, unless I knew the +mountain, I could not possibly find my way over it. It was just +sunset as I left Pittsfield, and I decided to risk the mountain, and, +following a wood road, I climbed the steep declivity, and, going in +what seemed to me a nearly direct course, after an hour's walk I +recognized a gap in the hill-crest and a distant view with two little +lakes reflecting the sky which I had seen the hour before. I had been +following a charcoal-burner's road in a circle; daylight had gone, and +the mists were coming on heavy as rain, making it impossible to see +ten yards before me. There was no recourse, if I was to keep the +rendezvous, but to follow the guidance of the inner sense. I +determined to obey the monitor, and plunged into the forest, in +unhesitating obedience to it. I did not guess, nor did I try to make +any kind of calculation. I felt that I must go in a certain direction, +and, as the darkness deepened, I had, literally, to grope my way, walk +with my hands out before me, not to run against the trees, for, with +little exception, the way lay through dense woodland, amidst which +were scattered boulders and fallen tree trunks. I could not--and +I speak without the least exaggeration--see the trees at my arm's +length. The fog was so dense and the trees so wet that every leaf or +twig dripped on me till I was soon drenched as completely as if I had +been plunged into a lake. I passed the crest of the mountain and began +to descend. I felt with my foot before me, and when the foot could +find nothing to rest on I drew it back and moved sidewise till I found +a step down, hanging on all the time to the branches of the trees. I +descended in this way a long distance, then came to a marsh which I +recognized only by the croaking of the frogs in it; and, skirting +the sound, made my way past it, always keeping the general direction +through the divergences made necessary by the nature of the land. + +At length I got through the fog and came to an open field, beyond +which I saw the outlines of trees against the clouded sky, and, +keeping on, came to a road. A few yards further on a light was visible +in a roadside cottage, and other houses were near, but all dark, as it +was late and all in them were asleep. I knocked at the door where I +saw the light and asked the way to Hancock. "Why, you are in Hancock," +the man of the house replied; and, on my inquiry as to an inn, he +informed me that a hundred yards further on there was an inn, to which +I went. The rain had ceased, but I was soaking, and I asked for a fire +by which to dry my clothes, and a bed, both of which were quickly +prepared; and then the landlord asked me where I came from and by what +road. When I told him that I came from Pittsfield by the mountain, he +exclaimed in amazement, "Why, there is no place by which a white +man could come over in broad daylight;" an exaggeration, as I could +testify, but it proved that the passage was held to be dangerous to +the ordinary foot traveler. The incident in itself has no importance, +but the singular feeling under which I made the passage of a trackless +mountain, in complete darkness for the most difficult part of the way, +in perfect confidence in a mysterious guidance which justified that +confidence, was a mental phenomenon worthy of note, the more that it +was in keeping with the invariable feeling which had grown up in me +from the cogitations of years. As I am telling the story of my life, +and the spiritual influences of my early years are an essential part +of that life, it cannot be irrelevant to the general result that I +should show how the springs of it acted. While I was on the wood road +in the earlier portion of the walk, I followed unhesitatingly the +visible path and made no question of guidance; but, when thrown on +the occult influence in which I confided, I walked unerringly to my +destination with the precision of an animal which nature had never +deserted. In the subsequent years, of which a great part was always +spent in the wilderness, the fascination of which became absorbing, +this occult faculty strengthened, so that I was never at a loss, when +in the trackless forest, for my path homeward. I then thought it a +newly acquired faculty. I now regard it as simply a recovered one, +inherent in all healthy minds, but lost, as many others have been, in +civilization. + +And in this connection I will deal, once for all, with the gifts to me +from this wild nature to which I abandoned myself with all the ardor +of a quest. The tendency of the imagination, even healthy, acting in +a vacancy, is to create illusions, or, if there be a certain occult +mental activity, such as that I have alluded to in my Pittsfield +experience, to intensify its action to such a degree that it finally +usurps the function of the senses. In the solitude of the great +Wilderness, where I have passed months at a time, generally alone, or +with only my dog to keep me company, airy nothings became sensible; +and, in the silence of those nights in the forest, the whisperings of +the night wind through the trees forced meanings on the expecting ear. +I came to hear voices in the air, words so clearly spoken that even an +incredulous mind could not ignore them. I sat in my boat one evening, +out on the lake, watching the effects of the sky between the gaunt +pines which, under the prevalence of the west winds, grew up with an +easterly inclination of their tops, like that of a man walking, and +thus seemed to be marching eastward into the gathering darkness. They +gave a sudden impression of a procession, and I heard as distinctly +as I ever heard human speech, a voice in the air which said "the +procession of the Anakim." Over and over again, as I sat alone by my +camp-fire at night, dreaming awake, I have heard a voice from across +the lake calling me to come over and fetch it, and one night I rowed +my boat in the darkness more than a mile, to find no one. Watching for +deer from a treetop one day, in broad sunlight, and looking over a +mountain range, along the crest of which were pointed firs and long +level ridges of rock in irregular alternation, the eerie feeling +suddenly came over me, and the mountain-top seemed a city with spires +and walls, and I heard bands of music, and then hunting-horns coming +down with the wind, and there was a perfect illusion of the sound of a +hunting party hurrying down into the valley, which gave me a positive +panic, as if I were being pursued and must run. I remember also on +another occasion a transformation--transfiguration rather--of the +entire landscape in colors, such as neither Titian nor Turner ever +has shown me. It was a glorification of nature such as I had never +conceived and cannot now comprehend. + +The fascination of indulgence in this illusory life became such that +I lingered every summer longer, and finally until November, when, in +that high and northerly locality, the snow had fallen and the lake +began to freeze, living only under a bark roof, open to the air and to +the snow, which fell on my bed during the night. I can easily imagine +the life leading to insanity. Probably my interest in nature and +my painting kept me measurably free from this danger, but not from +illusions as unaccountable as spiritism, and sometimes more real than +the physical facts. I had one evening, when I was lying awake in a +troubled state of mind, a vision of a woman's face, utterly unlike +anybody I had ever seen, and so beautiful that with the sheer delight +of its beauty I remained for several days in a state of ecstasy, as if +it were constantly before me, and I remember it still, after more than +forty years, as more beautiful than any face I ever saw in the flesh. +It was as real while it lasted as any material object could have +been, though it was a head without a body, like one of the vignetted +portraits which used to be so fashionable in my early days. + +In all these years, whether in the wilderness or in the city, I lived +a life more or less visionary, and absorbed in mental problems, in +the solution of which I passed days of intense thought, and, when +no solution appeared to my unaided reason, I used to fast until the +solution appeared clear, which was often not until after days +of entire abstinence from food of any kind,--the fast lasting +occasionally three days,--by which time the diminishing mental energy +brought with it a diminution of the perplexity, and I came out of the +morbid state in which I had been, and probably found that there was +generally an intellectual delusion in the problem. I do not remember +the particular character of these perplexities, save that they were +generally questions of right and wrong in motive or conduct; but, from +the fact that they did not leave a permanent impression, I suppose +they were of the _quisquilioe_ which seem at times to perplex the +theological world, the stuff that dreams are made of. Up to this time +all the doctrines of my early creed held me in bondage: the observance +of the Seventh-Day Sabbath, and the exigencies of the letter of the +law, which entirely hid the worth of its spirit, were imperative on +me, and out of the complication I derived little happiness and much +distress. This kind of Christianity seems to me now of the nature of +those burdens which the Pharisees of old laid on the consciences of +their day, and it was only years later than the time I am here writing +of, when I finally moved to Cambridge and came under the influence of +the broadest form of Christianity, that they were removed. I owe it to +one of the truest friends of my early manhood,--Charles Eliot Norton, +the friend as well of Emerson, Lowell, and Longfellow,--that the real +nature of these questions of formal morality was finally made clear to +me, and life made a relatively simple matter. + +This is an anticipation of the sequence of my development, and given +here not to leave occasion to recur to the subject again. On my return +from the first summer in the Wilderness, I took a studio again in New +York, and entered more formally into the fellowship of the painters of +landscape. Being under no necessity of making the occupation pay, I +probably profited less than I ought by the regime, and followed +my mission of art reformer as much by a literary propaganda as by +example. This, as all know who have ventured it, was more or less the +effectual obstacle to practical attainment in art. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +JOURNALISM + + +Given a disposition to enter into controversies on art questions, +provoked by the general incompetence of the newspaper critics of +that day, and the fact that there was at that time no publication in +America devoted to the interests of art, it happened naturally that I +was drawn into correspondence with the journals on art questions, and +easily made for myself a certain reputation in this field. I obtained +the position of fine-art editor of the "Evening Post," then edited by +W.C. Bryant, a position which did not interfere with my work in the +studio. My duties on the paper were light and pecuniarily of no +importance, though the "Post" was the journal which, of all the +New York dailies, paid most attention to art, and had the highest +authority in questions of culture. My relations with Bryant were +intellectually profitable to me. He was a man who enjoyed the highest +consideration amongst our contemporary journalists,--of inflexible +integrity in politics as well as in business affairs. The managing +editor was John Bigelow, a worthy second to such a chief. Bryant was +held to be a cold man, not only in his poetry, but in his personal +relations; but I think that, so far as his personality was concerned, +this was a mistake. He impressed me as a man of strong feelings, who +had at some time been led by a too explosive expression of them +to dread his own passions, and who had, therefore, cultivated a +repression which became the habit of his life. The character of his +poetry, little sympathetic with human passion, and given to the +worship of nature, confirmed the general impression of coldness which +his manner suggested. I never saw him in anger, but I felt that the +barrier which prevented it was too slight to make it safe for any +one to venture to touch it. A supreme sense of justice went with a +somewhat narrow personal horizon, a combination which, while it made +him hold the balance of judgment level, so far as the large world of +politics was concerned, made him often too bitter in his controversies +touching political questions; but the American political daily paper +has never had a nobler type than the "Evening Post" under Bryant. +Demonstrative he never was, even with his intimates, but to the +constancy and firmness of his friendship all who knew him well could +testify, and, as long as he lived, our relations were unchanged, +though my wandering ways brought me seldom near him in later years. + +It was about this time that I had become acquainted with the Browns. +Of Mrs. Brown I have, in anticipation of events, spoken in connection +with spiritism, apart from which she had a remarkable individuality +in many ways. She had those instantaneous perceptions of truth in the +higher regions of thought, the spiritual and moral, which seem to be +either instinct or inspiration. Their house was the meeting place of +a school of transcendental thinkers (and I use the word in its full +sense) of a very remarkable character. As the Browns lived on the +Brooklyn side of the East River, we used to call it the "Brooklyn +School," though there were residents of Philadelphia and Boston among +the friends who met there. Now and then we had formal _conversazioni_, +and at these I soon took a prominent part, though the inquiring spirit +strongly predominated over the oracular, which is likely to monopolize +such assemblies. I was in that eagerness of early and incomplete +knowledge which is more ready in expression than that of riper years, +and it is probable that I distinguished myself by fluency of verbiage. +It became customary to look to me for the most hazardous reaches of +conjecture or inquiry, though certainly Mrs. Brown was worth far more +than I was. I had already solved several problems which to-day are not +clear to me, and I had always a ready answer to most mysteries. Talk I +certainly could, and Mrs. Brown, who had the most sincere friendship +for me, and believed in my possibilities if not in my attainment, +delighted to put me forward. + +One day there was a _conversazione_ at which Alcott, the "Oracle of +Concord," was to be the chief personage, and, as he had the habit of +monopolizing the talk when he took any part, it was suggested that +I should try my strength against his. Although Emerson had a high +opinion of Alcott, he seemed to me a shallow and illogical thinker, +and I have always felt that the good opinion of Emerson was due rather +to the fact that Alcott presented him with his own ideas served up +in forms in which he no longer recognized them, and so appeared to +Emerson as original. Such originality as he had was rather in oracular +and often incomprehensible verbiage than in profundity of thought, +but, as no one attempted to bring him to book, bewildered as his +audience generally was by the novelty of the propositions he made or +by their absurdity, he used to go on until suggestion, or breath, +failed him. I have forgotten, long ago, the subject of debate, but +Alcott started out with one of his characteristic mysticisms, and, +after allowing him to commit himself fully, I interrupted him with a +question. He was a little irritated at being stopped in the flow of +his discourse, and showed it, but this did not disturb me, and I +insisted on an explanation of what he had said. He was not in the +habit of explaining himself, and replied very much at random, but the +training of old Dr. Nott stood me in good stead, and I followed him up +with question and objection until he assumed a position diametrically +opposed to that from which he started, when I called his attention +to the fact that what he then said contradicted what he had at first +said. He got angry, and replied that "a man was not bound to be +consistent with himself, and that it did not matter." But he lost +his thread as well as his temper, and the _conversazione_ came to a +premature end, to the great satisfaction of the conspirators, most of +whom had at one time or another been silenced in their attempts to +bring him to logical conclusions, by his autocratic way of carrying on +the debate without regard to objections, which they had not had the +courage to urge. + +He seemed to me a shallow philosopher, but I must confess that my +treatment of him did not become a man so much younger than he. I felt, +however, a certain amount of honest indignation at what seemed to +me his charlatanic manner of putting off on people his random and +improvised suggestions regarding questions which seemed to me then of +vital importance to society. It is easy now to see that I was in the +stage of mental evolution at which detail is of supreme importance +because large views of life and philosophy have not yet come above the +horizon. Alcott was a drawing-room philosopher, the justice of whose +lucubrations had no importance whatever, while his manner and his +individuality gave to wiser people than I the pleasure which belongs +to the study of such a specimen of human nature. He amused and +superficially interested, and he no doubt enjoyed his distorted +reflections of the wisdom of wiser men as much as if he had been an +original seeker. I did not then understand that all knowledge is +relative, and that, _au fond_, his offense was the same as mine, that +of thinking he had arrived at finality in the discovery of truth. + +It was, perhaps, a natural consequence of all this talking and writing +about art that, in the absence of a periodical devoted to it, my +friends came to the conclusion that it would be a good and useful +thing that I should start an art journal. I had read with enthusiasm +"Modern Painters," and absorbed the views of Ruskin in large draughts, +and enjoyed large intercourse with European masters, and with +Americans like William Page, H.K. Brown, S.W. Rowse, and H.P. Gray, +all thinkers and artists of distinct eminence. In this school I +had acquired certain views of the nature of art which I burned to +disseminate. They were crude rather than incorrect, but they were +largely responded to by our public; they were destructive of the old +rather than informing of the new, and leaned on nature rather than +art. The art-loving public was full of Ruskinian enthusiasm, and what +strength I had shown was in that vein. The overweening self-confidence +that always carried me into dangers and difficulties which a little +wisdom would have taught me to avoid, made me too ready to enter into +a scheme which required far more ability and knowledge of business +than I possessed. All my artist friends promised me their assistance, +and I found in John Durand, the son of the president of the National +Academy of Design, a partner with a seconding enthusiasm and the +necessary assistance in raising the capital. This amounted to $5000, +for the half of which my brother Thomas became security. We doubted +not that the undertaking would be a lucrative one, and one of the +principal motives which was urged on me by my artistic friends and +promising supporters was that it would furnish me with a sufficient +income to enable me to follow my painting without any anxiety as to my +means of living. We started a weekly called "The Crayon," and at +the outset I was able to promise the assistance of most of our best +writers residing in New York. + +In order to secure the support of the Bostonians I went to Boston and +Cambridge, where I was met by a cordial response to my enthusiasm, +Lowell becoming my sponsor to the circle of which he was then and for +many years the most brilliant ornament. To him and his friendship in +after years I owe to a very large degree the shaping of my later life, +as well as the better part of the success of "The Crayon." He was then +in a condition of profound melancholy, from the recent death of his +wife. He lived in retirement, seeing only his most intimate friends, +and why he should have made an exception in my case I do not quite +understand. It may be that I had a card of introduction from his great +friend William Page or from C.F. Briggs (in the literary world, "Harry +Franco"), but if so it would have been merely a formal introduction, +as my acquaintance with either of those gentlemen was very slight, +and I do not remember an introduction at all. My impression is that I +introduced myself. But I was an enthusiast, fired with the idea of an +apostolate of art, largely vicarious and due to Ruskin, who was then +my prophet, and whose religion, as mine, was nature. In fact, I was +still so much under the influence of the "Modern Painters" that, like +Ruskin, I accepted art as something in the peculiar vision of the +artist, not yet recognizing that it is the brain that sees and not the +eye. But there is this which makes the nature-worshiper's creed a more +exalting one than that of the art-lover, that it is impersonal and +compels the forgetting of one's self, which for an apostolate is +essential. + +It was probably this characteristic of my condition which enlisted the +sympathy of Lowell, who, even in his desolation, had a heart for any +form of devotion, and who, with the love of nature which was one of +his own most marked traits, had a side to which my enthusiasm appealed +directly. The mere artist is, unless his nature is a radically +religious one, an egotist, and his art necessarily centres on him, +nature only furnishing him with material. I was dreaming of other +things than myself or that which was personal in my enterprise, and +Lowell felt the glow of my enthusiasm. He introduced me to Longfellow, +Charles Eliot Norton, R.H. Dana, and other of his friends at +Cambridge, and at a later visit to Agassiz, Emerson, Thomas G. +Appleton (Longfellow's brother-in-law), Whittier, E.P. Whipple, +Charles Sumner, and Samuel G. Ward, banker and a lover of art of high +intelligence, the friend of poets and painters, and to me, in later +years, one of the kindest and wisest of advisers and friends. + +Lowell invited me to the dinner of the Saturday Club,--a monthly +gathering of whatever in the sphere of New England thought was most +eminent and brilliant,--and here I came, for the first time, into +contact with the true New England. It may be supposed that I returned +to New York a more enthusiastic devotee of that Yankeeland to which +I owed everything that was best in me. In my immediate mission,--the +quest of support for "The Crayon,"--I had abundant response in +contributions, and Lowell himself, Norton, and "Tom" Appleton, as he +was called familiarly by all the world, continued to be amongst my +most faithful and generous contributors as long as I remained the +editor. Longfellow alone of all that literary world, though promising +to contribute, never did send me a word for my columns, not, I am +persuaded, from indifference or want of generosity, but because he was +diffident of himself, and, in the scrutiny of his work, for which, of +course, the demand from the publishers was always urgent, he did not +find anything which seemed to him particularly fit for an art journal. +Nor would any of those contributors ever accept the slightest +compensation for the poems or articles they sent, though "The Crayon" +paid the market price for everything it printed to those who would +accept. The first number of "The Crayon" made a good impression in all +the quarters from which praise was most weighty and most desired by +its proprietors. Bryant and Lowell had sent poems for it, but I had to +economize my wealth, and could print only one important poem in each +number, and to this I gave a page, so that I had to choose between the +two. Bryant had sent me a poem without a title, and when I asked him +to give it one he replied, "I give you a poem, give me a name;" and I +called it "A Rain Dream," which name it bears still in the collected +edition of his works. Lowell sent me the first part of "Pictures from +Appledore," one of a series of fragments of a projected poem,--like +so many of his projects, never carried to completion. The poem was +intended to consist of a series of stories told in "The Nooning," in +which a party of young men, gathered in the noon spell in the bowl +formed by the branches of a pollard willow,--one of those which stood, +and of which some still stand, by the river Charles,--were to tell +their personal experiences or legends drawn from the sections of New +England from which they came. Bryant's greater reputation at that time +made his contribution more valuable from a publishing point of view, +especially in New York, where Lowell had as yet little reputation, +while Bryant was, by many, regarded as the first of living American +poets. But my personal feeling insisted on giving Lowell the place at +the launch, and to reconcile the claim of seniority of Bryant with +my preference of Lowell puzzled me a little, the more that Lowell +insisted strongly on my putting Bryant in the forefront as a matter of +business. I determined to leave it to Bryant, whose business tact was +very fine, and who had as little personal vanity as is possible to a +man of the world, which, in the best sense, he was. But I prepared the +ground by writing a series of articles on "The Landscape Element in +American Poetry," the first of which was naturally devoted to Bryant, +and then, taking him the poem of Lowell and the article on himself, I +asked his advice as to the decision, saying that I could only print +his poem or Lowell's, but that I desired to take in as wide a range +of interest as possible. He decided at once in favor of the poem of +Lowell and the Bryant article in the landscape series. + +The success of "The Crayon" was immediate, though, from a large +journalistic point of view, it was, no doubt, somewhat crude +and puerile. It had a considerable public, sympathetic with its +sentimental vein, readers of Ruskin and lovers of pure nature,--a +circle the larger, perhaps, for the incomplete state of art education +in our community. That two young men, without any experience in +journalism, and with little in literature, should have secured the +success for their enterprise which "The Crayon" indisputably did enjoy +was a surprise to the public, and, looking at it now, with my +eyes cooled by the distance of more than forty years, I am myself +surprised. That "The Crayon" had a real vitality, in spite of its +relative juvenility, was shown by the warm commendation it received +from Lowell, Bryant, and other American literati, and from Ruskin, who +wrote us occasional notes in reply to questions put by the readers, +and warmly applauded its tone. Mantz was our French correspondent, +and William Rossetti our English, and a few of the artists sent us +communications which had the value of the personal artistic tone. But +I learned the meaning of the fable of "The Lark and her Young," for +the general assistance in the matter of contributions, promised me by +the friends who had originally urged me to the undertaking, was very +slow in coming, and, for the first numbers, I wrote nearly the whole +of the original matter, and for some time more than half of it. I +wrote not only the editorial articles and the criticisms, but essays, +correspondence, poetry, book notices (really reading every book I +noticed), and a page or two of "Sketchings," in which were notes from +nature, extracts from letters, and replies to queries of the readers. + +I remained in the city all the burning summer, taking a ten days' run +in the Adirondacks in September. I kept office all day, received +all who came to talk art or business, and did most of my writing at +night,--not a regime to keep up one's working powers. Durand did some +excellent translations from the French, and the late Justin Winsor +sent us many translations, both of verse and prose, from the German, +as well as original poetry. Aldrich was a generous contributor. +Whittier, Bayard Taylor, and others of the lyric race sent occasional +contributions, and amongst the women, who were, as a rule, our most +enthusiastic supporters, were Mrs. Sigourney, and, not the least by +far, Lucy Larcom, the truest poetess of that day in America, who gave +us some of her most charming poems. She was teacher in a girls' +school somewhere in Massachusetts, and I went to see her in one of my +editorial trips. We went out for a walk in the fields, she and her +class and myself, and they looked up to me as if I were Apollo and +they the Muses; and we went afield in many things. Henry James, the +father of the novelist, was also a not infrequent contributor; and, +amongst the artists, Huntington, President Durand (the father of my +associate), Horatio Greenough, and William Page appeared in our pages, +with many more, whose names a file of "The Crayon" would recall. + +During the year, Lowell received the appointment of Professor of +Modern Languages at Harvard, and on the eve of his sailing from New +York we gave him a dinner, to which, besides some of his old friends, +such as E.P. Whipple and Senator Charles Sumner, I invited Bryant and +Bayard Taylor. I knew that Bryant held a little bitterness against +Lowell for the passage in the "Fable for Critics," in which he said:-- + + "If he stir you at all, it is just, on my soul, + Like being stirred up with the very North Pole;" + +and I told Lowell how the dear old poet felt, and then put them +together at the table. Lowell laid himself out to captivate Bryant, +and did so completely, for his tact was such that in society no one +whom he desired to interest could resist him; and our dinner was a +splendid success. Of all present at it only Durand and myself are now +living. + +The subscription list of our paper had risen in the first month to +above 1200, and the promise for the future seemed brilliant. But, +unfortunately, neither of us understood the business part of +journalism, or that a paper does not live by its circulation, but by +advertisements; and that our advertisements, being a specialty, must +be canvassed for vigorously. We did not canvass. Cunning publishers +persuaded us that it would be a good thing to take their +advertisements for nothing, so as to persuade the others that we had a +good advertising list. But the bait never took, and we never got the +paying list, and the printer, being interested in our expenditure, +never helped us to economize, but played the "Wicked Uncle" to our +"Babes in the Wood," and so we wasted our substance. It was, perhaps, +fortunate that the funds ran short as they did, for our five thousand +dollars could not go far when the subscriptions were all paid in +and spent, and the overwork began to tell on me fatally. With the +conclusion of the third volume I broke down and had to give up work +entirely. + +When I got out of harness, and had no longer the stimulus of the daily +demand and habit of work, the collapse was such that I thought I was +dying. I gave my share of the paper to Durand, to do as he pleased +with, and went off to North Conway, in the mountains of New Hampshire, +to paint one more picture before I died. I chose a brook scene, +and Huntington and Hubbard--two of our leading painters--and a +Duesseldorf-educated painter, by name Post, sat down with me to paint +it. I gave six weeks of hard work to a canvas twelve by eighteen +inches, and my competitors cordially admitted my victory. Autumn fell +on my work with still something to do to it, and it was never finished +to my entire satisfaction, but it was one of the successes of the year +at the Academy Exhibition. I stayed late amongst the mountains, only +thinking of dying, but nature brought me round. There came, towards +the end of the season, a newly married couple from Boston, destined +in later years to become a large part of my life,--Dr. and Mrs. +Amos Binney. Mrs. Binney was one of the earliest women graduates in +medicine in America,--an earnest, true woman, whose ministrations to +me in body and mind, in those months of dying hopes, flying leaves, +and early snowfalls, were full of healing. I had had a skirmish with +Cupid that summer, my first real passion, reciprocated by the subject +of it, one of the ardent readers of "The Crayon," an enthusiast in +art, and like me in Ruskin--an affair which ended in our double defeat +under the merciless veto of the mother of my flame. In that affair +Mrs. Binney's tact and knowledge of human nature befriended me +profoundly, and were the origin of a cordial intimacy which +incidentally had on my subsequent life a great influence. Dr. Binney +gave me a commission for two pictures, and invited me to come to his +home near Boston to paint them. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +CAMBRIDGE + + +I gave up my studio in New York and went to Boston, and, my +commissions executed, moved from there to Cambridge, where I made my +home, returning thenceforward to the Adirondacks in the late summer +and autumn of every year while I remained in America. The following +springtime I spent making studies in that classic neighborhood, +especially in a favorite haunt of Lowell's,--the "Waverley Oaks,"--a +curious group of large white oaks, which had taken root some hundreds +of years ago on the foot of a moraine of one of the offsets of the +great glacier which, countless thousands of years ago, had covered New +England. They were beautiful trees and greatly beloved by Lowell, for +whom I painted the principal group, with Beaver Brook, another of his +favorite studies, and he lying by its bank in the foreground, a little +full-length portrait, not the length of my finger. I painted also a +similar portrait of Longfellow, under the most beautiful of the oaks, +on an eight-by-ten-inch canvas. It was a good portrait, but Lowell +deterred me from finishing it as I wished, saying that if I touched it +again I should destroy the likeness. I am half inclined to think that +his insistence was mainly intended to abbreviate the martyrdom +of Longfellow, whom I conducted every day to the Oaks, to insure +pre-Raphaelite fidelity, making him sit on a huge boulder under the +tree and even forgetting to carry a cushion for him, so that he sat on +the bare stone until at last the discomfort was evident to me, when +I folded my coat to cushion his stone seat. So kindly was his nature +that he had submitted to the inconvenience with the docility and +delicacy of a child, without a sign of impatience. + +This absolute unselfishness and extreme consideration for others was +characteristic of the man. I saw much of him in the years following, +and found in him the most exquisitely refined and gentle nature I have +ever known,--one to which a brutal or inconsiderate act was positive +pain, and any aggression on the least creature, cause of intense +indignation. My recollection of his condescension to my demands on +his time and physical comfort remain in my memory as the highest +expression of his social beneficence. Longfellow was not expansive, +nor do I remember his ever becoming enthusiastic over anything or +anybody. One who knew nothing of his domestic life might have fancied +that he was cold, and certainly he did not possess that social +magnetism which made Lowell the loadstone of so many hearts, and made +the exercise of that attraction necessary to his own enjoyment of +existence. Longfellow adored his wife and children; but beyond that +circle, it seemed to me, he had no imperious longing to know or be +known. He had likes and dislikes; but so far as I understood him, no +strong antipathies or ardent friendships. He had warm friendships for +Lowell, the Nortons, and Agassiz, for example, but I think he had but +a mild regard for Emerson, and I remember his saying one day that +Emerson used his friends like lemons,--squeezing them till they were +dry, and then throwing them away. This showed that he misunderstood +Emerson, but perhaps intelligibly, for Longfellow had few of those +qualities which interested Emerson, and there could not have been +much in common to both. Emerson liked men who gave him problems to +solve,--something to learn,--while Longfellow was transparent, limpid +as a clear spring reflecting the sky and showing all that was in its +depths; and to Emerson he offered no problem. I never saw him angry +but once, and that was at his next-door neighbor shooting at a robin +in a cherry-tree that stood near the boundary between the two gardens. +The small shot carried over and rattled about us where we sat on the +verandah of the old Washington house, but showed the avicidal intent, +and Longfellow went off at once to protest against the barbarity, not +at all indignant at the personal danger, if he thought of any. + +His adoration of his wife was fully justified, for rarely have I seen +a woman in whom a Juno-like dignity and serenity were so wedded to +personal beauty and to the fine culture of brain and heart, which +commanded reverence from the most ordinary acquaintance, as in her. No +one who had seen her at home could ever forget the splendid vision, +and the last time I ever saw her, so far as I remember, was in summer +time, when she and her two daughters, all in white muslin, like +creatures of another world, evanescent, translucent, stood in the +doorway to say good-by to me. In the same costume, a little later, she +met death. She was making impressions in sealing-wax, to amuse her +daughters, when a flaming drop fell on the inflammable stuff, and in +an instant she was in flames, burned to death before help could come. +It was then that they found that Longfellow was not the cold man they +had generally believed him. He never recovered from the bereavement, +and shortly after he became a Spiritualist, and, until he in his glad +turn passed the gates of death, he lived in what he knew to be the +light of her presence. And certainly if such a thing as communion +across that grim threshold can be, this was the occasion which made it +possible. There was something angelic about them both, even in this +life,--a natural innocence and large beneficence and equanimity which, +in the chance and contradiction of life, could rarely be found in +wedded state. + +One of the most notable personages of that little world, whom I knew +in connection with Longfellow, was his brother-in-law,--Thomas G. +Appleton,--a most distinguished amateur of art; a subtle, if sometimes +vagarious, critic, poet, and thinker: the wit to whom most of the +clever things said in Boston came naturally in time to be attributed. +The famous saying that "Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris," +is generally supposed to be his, though Oliver Wendell Holmes told me +one day that he himself was really the author of it; but, if a keen +witticism was floating about fatherless in the Boston circles it +drifted to Tom Appleton as putative parent. His, too, was a kindly +nature, and many a rising artist found his way to a larger recognition +by Appleton's unobtrusive aid. He, like Longfellow, was a sincere +Spiritualist. One of the most remarkable of this group of men was +Professor Peirce, mathematician, of whose flights into the higher +regions of the science of numbers and quantities many interesting +things were told. He had written a book to show, if I remember right +after so many years, that the square root of minus one was a right +angle + + __ + (\/-1=90 deg.), + +which was said to have been read only by a mathematician who presided +over an observatory in the Ural Mountains. He had an extraordinary +power of making his abstruse results clear to the ordinary intellect, +and was in various directions a brilliant conversationalist. One day, +going into Boston in the omnibus with him, I questioned him as to the +famous problem. To my astonishment he went through a demonstration +adapted to my intelligence which made me understand the nature of +the substitution and the solution before our half hour's transit was +ended. I did not understand the mathematical statement, but he put it +in common-sense terms, which I apprehended perfectly, though I never +could repeat them. + +My Adirondack experiences and studies having excited the desire on the +part of several Cambridge friends to visit the Wilderness, I made up +a party which comprised Lowell and his two nephews, Charles and James +Lowell (two splendid young New Englanders afterwards killed during the +Civil War), Dr. Estes Howe, Lowell's brother-in-law, and John Holmes, +the brother of Oliver Wendell, considered by many of the Cambridge set +the wittier and wiser of the two, but who, being extremely averse to +publicity, was never known in literature. We made a flying journey of +inspection through the Saranac Lakes and down the Raquette River +to Tupper's Lake, and then across a wild and at that day a little +explored section to the head of Raquette Lake, and down the Raquette +River back to the Saranacs; the party returning home and I back to the +headwaters of the Raquette to spend the summer painting. I built a +camp on a secluded bay, which still bears my name amongst the men of +the section, and there I worked in a solitude sometimes complete and +sometimes shared by my guide, who passed his time between the camp and +the settlement at Saranac, whence I drew all my supplies beyond those +which the lake and the forest furnished us with. The solitude of the +Wilderness at that time can be no longer found anywhere in the vast +woodland which, much mutilated and scarred by fires and clearings, +still covers the district between the springs of the Mohawk and the +rivers which empty into the St. Lawrence. There was one settler on the +lake, from whom I could, when necessary, get a loaf of bread, but +the solitude for nine days out of ten was not broken by a strange +footfall. My camp was a shelter of bark, raised on poles, open in +front to the morning sun, just sufficing to shed the rain, while my +bed was a layer of the branches of the fir-trees that grew around. +Trout from the lake, broiled on the coals of the camp-fire, with a +piece of bread, was the usual and sufficient fare, though we now and +then killed a deer when Steve, my guide, was with me; at other times +the dog was my only company, and in this monotonous life I found the +most complete content that my experience has given me. Here wolves +abounded, but only on one occasion did they attempt to disturb me, +which was when I had left by the lake shore a deer we had killed in +the morning, and they came at night to steal the meat. Bears were +abundant, but even shyer than the wolves; and though we heard, now and +then, the cry of a panther (puma), we never saw one. + +Here the morbid passion of solitude grew on me. The serene silence was +seldom broken save by the cry of an eagle or an osprey, high overhead, +the chirping of the chickadee flitting about the camp to find a crumb, +or the complaining note of the Canada jay, most friendly of all wild +birds, seeking for the scraps of venison we used to throw out for him. +No other birds came to us, and one of the most striking features +in the Wilderness was the paucity of bird life and voice. As I +sat painting, I would see the gray eagle come down, with his long +cycloidal swoop, skimming along the surface of the water, and catch, +as he passed, the trout that sunned itself on the surface; or the +osprey seizing it with his direct plunge into the lake, from which, +after a struggle that lasted sometimes a minute, the only sign of his +presence being the agitated water, he would emerge with the fish in +his claws and sail aloft, hurrying to escape to the forest with his +prey lest the eagle, always watching from the upper air, should rob +him of his hard-earned booty. Once I saw the eagle make the mighty +plunge from far above, the frightened osprey dropping the fish to +escape the shock, and the eagle catching it in midair as it fell. +The little incidents of woodland life took the place of all other +diversions and left no hour void of interest. I broke up the camp only +when the autumn was so far advanced that it was uncomfortable to +live in the open air. It is difficult for one who has not had the +experience to understand the fascination of this absolute solitude, or +the impressiveness of the silence, unbroken sometimes through whole +days. I had absolutely no desire for human society, and I broke camp +with reluctance, to return to my studio at Cambridge. + +The next summer the party was formed which led to the foundation of +the Adirondack Club, and the excursion it made is commemorated by +Emerson in his poem "The Adirondacs." The company included Emerson, +Agassiz, Dr. Howe, Professor Jeffries Wyman, John Holmes,--who +became as fond as I was of this wild life,--Judge Hoar (later +Attorney-General in the cabinet of President Grant), Horatio Woodman, +Dr. Binney, and myself. Of this company, as I write, I am the only +survivor. I did my best to enroll Longfellow in the party, but, though +he was for a moment hesitating, I think the fact that Emerson was +going with a gun settled him in the determination to decline. "Is it +true that Emerson is going to take a gun?" he asked me; and when +I said that he had finally decided to do so, he ejaculated, "Then +somebody will be shot!" and would talk no more of going. + +Perhaps the final reason, or that which would in any case have +indisposed him to join the company, was his want of sympathy with +Emerson. Emerson and he were in fact of antagonistic intellectuality, +both in the quality of the exquisite courtesy which distinguished them +equally, and in the fibre of intellectual working and the quality of +mental activity. Longfellow was of the most refined social culture, +disciplined to self-control under all circumstances and difficulties; +sensitive in the highest degree to the forms of courtesy, and +incapable by nature as by training of an act or word which could +offend the sensibilities of even a discourteous interlocutor,--capable +at worst of an indignant silence, but incapable of invading the +personality of another; not serene, but of an invincible tranquillity; +with no sympathy for mystery or obscurity; supremely above the general +and commonplace by the exquisite refinement to which he carried the +expression of what the general and commonplace world felt and thought; +remote from roughness in the form or the substance of his thought; in +short, the _ne plus ultra_ of refinement as man and poet. Emerson was +too serene ever to be discourteous, and was capable of the hottest +antagonism without rudeness, and the most intense indignation without +quickening his speech or raising his tone; grasping and exhausting +with imaginative activity whatever object furnished him with +matter for thought, and throwing to the rubbish heap whatever was +superficial; indifferent to form or polish if only he could find a +diamond; reveling in mystery, and with eyes that penetrated like the +X-ray through all obscurities, and found at the bottom of them what +there was to find; arrested by no surfaces, inflexible in his +devotion to truth, and indifferent to all personalities or artificial +conditions of men or things. Nothing but the roots of things, their +inmost anatomy, attracted him; he brushed away contemptuously the +beauties on which Longfellow spent the tenderness of his character, +and threw aside like an empty nutshell the form to which an artist +might have given the devotion of his best art, for the art's sake. +In his temper there was no patience with shams, little toleration +of forms. It would, I should think, be clear to one who was well +acquainted with both men, that there was little in common between them +beyond culture, but I never heard Emerson speak of Longfellow, and can +only judge by induction that he never occupied himself much with him. + +We tried also to get Dr. Holmes to join us; but the Doctor was devoted +to Boston, and could not have lived long out of its atmosphere, and +with the woods and savagery he had no sympathy. He loved his Cambridge +friends serenely, Lowell, Agassiz, and Wyman, I think, above others; +but he enjoyed himself most of all, and Boston more than any other +thing on earth. He was lifted above ennui and discontent by a most +happy satisfaction with the rounded world of his own individuality and +belongings. Of the three men whom I have personally known in the +world who seemed most satisfied with what fate and fortune had made +them,--viz., Gladstone, Professor Freeman, and Holmes,--I think Holmes +enjoyed himself the most. There was a tinge of dandyism in the Doctor; +not enough to be considered a weakness, but enough to show that he +enjoyed his personal appearance and was content with what he had +become, and this in so delightful a way that one accepted him at once +at his own terms. The Doctor stood for Boston as Lowell for Cambridge, +the archetype of the Hub. Nobody represented it as he did. Tom +Appleton was nearest him, but Tom loved Paris better, and was a +"globe-trotter," as often in Europe as in Massachusetts, while the +Doctor hardly left the Hub even for a vacation; there was nothing +beyond it that was of great import to him. He was the sublimation of +Yankee wit as Lowell was of Yankee humor and human nature, and he +made of witticism a study; polished, refined, and prepared his "_bons +mots_", and, at the best moment, led the conversation round to the +point at which it was opportune to fire them off. He had a large +medical knowledge of human nature and intellectual pathology, but I +could never realize that he was a physician; I should not have trusted +myself to his doctoring. As with Longfellow, his family affections +were absorbing, and his love for his son, the present Mr. Justice +Holmes, and his pride in him, were very pleasant to see, and they ran +on the surface of his nature like his love for Boston; but I could +never feel that his feeling for his outside friends was more than a +mild, sunny glow of kindliness and vivid intellectual sympathy. Of +course I judge him from a difficult standard, that of the Cambridge +circle, in which the personal relations were very warm, and especially +comparing him with Lowell and the Nortons, with whom friendship was a +religion. + +Holmes and Lowell were the antitheses of the New England intellect, +and this more in their personality than in their writing. If Lowell +could have acquired Holmes's respect for his work, he would have left +a larger image in the American Walhalla; but he never gave care to the +perfection of what he wrote, for his mind so teemed with material that +the time to polish and review never came. Holmes, like a true artist, +loved the _limae labor_. He was satisfied, it seemed to me, to do the +work of one lifetime and then rest, while Lowell looked forward to a +succession of lifetimes all full of work, and one can hardly conceive +him as ever resting or caring to stop work. Lowell's was a generous, +widely sympathizing nature, from which radiated love for humanity, and +the broadest and most catholic helpfulness for every one who asked +for his help, with a special fund for his friends. Holmes drew a line +around him, within which he shone like a winter sun, and outside of +which his care did not extend. The one was best in what he did, the +other in what he was. Holmes always seemed to me cynical to the +general world; Lowell to have embodied the antique sentiment, "I am a +man, and hold nothing human as indifferent to me." Both were adored +by those around them, and the adoration kindled Holmes to a warmer +reflection to the adorers; Lowell felt it as the earth feels sunshine, +which sinks into the fertile soil and bears its fruit in a richer +harvest. + +Excepting Holmes, Norton, and Longfellow, our company included most of +what was most distinct in the world in which we lived, with some who +were eminent only in their social relations, and who neither cared +to be nor ever became of interest to the general world. The care of +arranging the details of the excursion was left to me, and I had, +therefore, to precede the company to the Wilderness, and so missed +what must have been to the others a very amusing experience. The rumor +of the advent of the party spread through the country around Saranac, +and at the frontier town where they would begin the journey into the +woods the whole community was on the _qui vive_ to see, not Emerson or +Lowell, of whom they knew nothing, but Agassiz, who had become famous +in the commonplace world through having refused, not long before, an +offer from the Emperor of the French of the keepership of the Jardin +des Plantes and a senatorship, if he would come to Paris and live. +Such an incredible and disinterested love for America and science in +our hemisphere had lifted Agassiz into an elevation of popularity +which was beyond all scientific or political dignity, and the +selectmen of the town appointed a deputation to welcome Agassiz and +his friends to the region. A reception was accorded, and they came, +having taken care to provide themselves with an engraved portrait +of the scientist, to guard against a personation and waste of their +respects. The head of the deputation, after having carefully compared +Agassiz to the engraving, turned gravely to his followers and said, +"Yes, it's him;" and they proceeded with the same gravity to shake +hands in their order, ignoring all the other luminaries. + +I had in the mean time been into the Wilderness and selected a site +for the camp on one of the most secluded lakes, out of the line of +travel of the hunters and fisherfolk,--a deep _cul de sac_ of lake on +a stream that led nowhere, known as Follansbee Pond. There, with +my guide, I built a bark camp, prepared a landing-place, and then +returned to Saranac in time to meet the arriving guests. I was +unfortunately prevented from accompanying them up the lakes the next +morning, because a boat I had been building for the occasion was not +ready for the water, and so I missed what was to me of the greatest +interest,--the first impressions of Emerson of the Wilderness, +absolute nature. I joined them at night of the first day's journey, in +a rainstorm such as our summer rarely gives in the mountains, and +we made the unique and fascinating journey down the Raquette River +together; Agassiz taking his place in my boat, each other member of +the party having his own guide and boat. + +The scene, like the company, exists no longer. There is a river which +still flows where the other flowed; but, like the water that has +passed its rapids, and the guests that have gone the way of all +those who have lived, it is something different. Then it was a deep, +mysterious stream, meandering through unbroken forests, walled up on +either side in green shade, the trees of centuries leaning over to +welcome and shelter the voyager, flowing silently in great sweeps of +dark water, with, at long intervals, a lagoon setting back into the +wider forest around, enameled with pond lilies and sagittaria, and the +refuge of undisturbed waterfowl and browsing deer. Our lake lay at the +head of such a lagoon, a devious outlet of the basin of which the +lake occupied the principal expanse, reached through three miles of +no-man's route, framed in green hills forest-clad up to their summits. +The camp was a shelter of spruce bark, open wide in front and closed +at the ends, drawn on three faces of an octohedron facing the +fireplace. The beds were made of layers of spruce and other fir +branches spread on the ground and covered with the fragrant twigs of +the arbor vitae. Two huge maples overhung the camp, and at a distance +of twenty feet from our lodge we entered the trackless, primeval +forest. The hills around furnished us with venison, and the lake with +trout, and there we passed the weeks of the summer heats. We were ten, +with eight guides, and while we were camping there we received the +news that the first Atlantic cable was laid, and the first message +sent under the sea from one hemisphere to the other,--an event which +Emerson did not forget to record in noble lines. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +THE ADIRONDACK CLUB--EMERSON AND AGASSIZ + + +In the main, our occupations were those of a vacation, to kill time +and escape from the daily groove. Some took their guides and made +exploration, by land or water; after breakfast there was firing at a +mark, a few rounds each, for those who were riflemen; then, if venison +was needed, we put the dog out on the hills; one boat went to overhaul +the set lines baited the evening before for the lake trout. When the +hunt was over we generally went out to paddle on the lake, Agassiz and +Wyman to dredge or botanize or dissect the animals caught or killed; +those of us who had interest in natural history watching the +naturalists, the others searching the nooks and corners of the pretty +sheet of water with its inlet brooks and its bays and recesses, or +bathing from the rocks. Lunch was at midday, and then long talks, +discussions _de omnibus rebus et quibusdam aliis_; and it was +surprising to find how many subjects we found germane to our +situation. + +Emerson has told the daily life in verse in "The Adirondacs," adding +his own impressions of the place and time. It is not generally +considered among the most interesting of his poems, being a narrative +with reflections, and such a subject could hardly rise above the +interest of the subject of the narration, which was only a vacation +study; but there are in it some passages which show the character of +Emerson's intellect better than anything else he has written. His +insight into nature, like that of the primitive mind as we find it in +the Greek poetry, the instinctive investment of the great mother with +the presence and attribute of personality, the re-creation from his +own resources of Pan and the nature-powers, the groping about in that +darkness of the primeval forest for the spiritual causes of the +things he felt,--all this is to me evident in the poem; and it is +the sufficient demonstration of the antique mould of his intellect, +serene, open-eyed to natural phenomena, seeing beyond the veil +they are, to the something beyond, but always questioning, hardly +concluding, and with no theories to limit his thought or bend it to +preconceived solutions. Knowing that all he saw in this undefiled +natural world, this virgin mother of all life (for around Follansbee +Pond, at the time we went, there was the primeval woodland, where +the lumberer had not yet penetrated, and the grove kept still the +immaculacy of the most ancient days), that all this was the mask of +things, he was ever on the watch if perchance he might catch some hint +of the secret,--secret never to be discovered, and therefore more +passionately sought. This seems to me contained in "The Adirondacs" as +in no other work of the philosopher. And to me the study of the great +student was the dominant interest of the occasion. I was Agassiz's +boatman on demand, for while all the others had their personal guides +and attendants, I was his; but often when Emerson wanted a boat I +managed to provide for Agassiz with one of the unoccupied guides, and +take the place of Emerson's own guide. Thus Emerson and I had many +hours alone on the lake and in the wood. He seemed to be a living +question, perpetually interrogating his impressions of all that +there was to be seen. The rest of us were always at the surface of +things,--even the naturalists were only engaged with their anatomy; +but Emerson in the forest, or looking at the sunset from the lake, +seemed to be looking through the phenomena, studying them by their +reflections on an inner speculum. + +In such a great solitude, stripped of the social conventions and +seeing men as they are, mind seems open to mind as it is quite +impossible for it to be in society, even the most informal. Agassiz +remarked, one day, when a little personal question had shown the +limitations of character of one of the company, that he had always +found in his Alpine experiences, when the company were living on terms +of compulsory intimacy, that men found each other out quickly. And so +we found it in the Adirondacks: disguises were soon dropped, and one +saw the real characters of his comrades as it was impossible to see +them in society. Conventions faded out, masks became transparent, +and for good or for ill the man stood naked before the questioning +eye,--pure personality. I think I gathered more insight into the +character of my companions in our greener Arden, in the two or three +weeks' meetings of the club, than all our lives in the city could have +given me. + +And Emerson was such a study as can but rarely be given any one. The +crystalline limpidity of his character, free from all conventions, +prejudices, or personal color, gave a facility for study of the man, +limited only by the range of vision of the student. How far my vision +was competent for this study is not for me to decide; so far as it +went I profited, and so far as my experience of men goes he is unique, +not so much from intellectual power, for I should be indisposed to +accept his as the mind of the greatest calibre among those I have +known, but as one of absolute transparency of intellect, perfect +receptivity, and devotion to the truth. In the days of persecution and +martyrdom Emerson would have gone to the stake smiling and undismayed, +but questioning all the time, even as to the nature of his own +emotions. It was this serene impassibility in his study of human +nature which gave the common impression of his coldness,--an +impression which is shown, by the anecdote I have elsewhere recorded +of Longfellow, to have been shared by one who might have been supposed +to know him well for years. But Emerson was not cold or disposed to +make mere subjects of analysis of his friends, as Longfellow thought; +he was an eager student of men as of nature, but superficial men he +tired of and dropped, nothing being to be learned from them, though +where he found what he looked for in a character he never tired of it. +His friendships were of the most constant because of this temper, and +it was only their serenity and almost impersonality that made them +seem frigid to those whose temperament was widely different. Wrong, +injustice to man or beast, roused his warmth in indignation,--he could +be hot enough on occasion; though the quiet warmth of his affection +for his friends was like the sun of May. But undoubtedly his greater +passion was for the truth in whatever form he could find it. + +Of all the mental experiences of my past life nothing else survives +with the vividness of my summers in the Adirondacks with Emerson. The +last sight I had of him was when, on his voyage to Egypt, he came to +see me at my home in London, aged and showing the decay of age, but +as alert and interrogative as ever with his insatiate intellectual +activity. And as I look back from the distance of years to the days +when we questioned together, he rises above all his contemporaries as +Mont Blanc does above the intervening peaks when seen from afar, not +the largest in mass, but loftiest in climb, soaring higher if not +occupying the space of some of his companions, even in our little +assemblies. Emerson was the best listener I ever knew, and at the +other meeting-place where I saw him occasionally, the Saturday Club, +his attention to what others were saying was far more notable than his +disposition to enter into the discussions. Now and then he flashed out +with a comment which lit up the subject as an electric spark might, +but in general he shone unconsciously. I remember that one day when, +at the club, we were discussing the nature of genius, some one turned +to Emerson and asked him for a definition of the thing, and he +instantly replied, "The faculty of generalizing from a single +example;" and nobody at the table could give so good and concise a +definition. There is a portrait of him by Rowse, who knew and loved +him well, which renders this side of Emerson in a way that makes +it the most remarkable piece of portraiture I know, the listening +Emerson. + +His insatiability in the study of human nature was shown curiously in +our first summer's camp. He had the utmost tenderness of animal life +and had no sympathy with sport in any form,--he "named the birds +without a gun,"--and when we were making up the outfit for the outing +he at first refused to take a rifle; but, as the discussion of make, +calibre, and quality went on, and everybody else was provided, he at +length decided, though no shot, to conform, and purchased a rifle. +And when the routine of camp life brought the day of the hunt, the +eagerness of the hunters and the passion of the chase, the strong +return to our heredity of human primeval occupation gradually involved +him, and made him desire to enter into this experience as well as the +rest of the forest emotions. He must understand this passion to kill. +One Sunday morning, when all the others went out for the drive of +the deer,--necessary for the larder, as the drive the day before had +failed,--Emerson asked me to take him out on the lake to some quiet +place for meditation. We landed in a deep bay, where the seclusion was +most complete, and he went into the woods to meditate. Presently we +heard the baying of the hound as he circled round the lake, on the +hillsides, for the deer at that season were reluctant to take to the +water, and gave a long chase; and, as he listened, he began to take in +the excitement of the hunters, and finally broke out abruptly, "Let us +go after the deer;" and down the lake we went, flying at our best, but +we arrived too late,--Lowell had killed the deer. + +He said to me later, and emphatically, "I must kill a deer;" and +one night we went out "jack-hunting" to enable him to realize that +ambition. This kind of hunting, as most people know, is a species +of pot-hunting, much employed by the hunters for the market, and so +destructive to the deer that it is now forbidden by the law in all the +Adirondack country. The deer are stalked by night along the shores, +where they come in to feed, the hunter carrying in his boat a light +so shaded that it illuminates only the space directly in front of the +boat, the glare blinding the animal so that he does not see the boat +or the boatman. In this way the deer may be approached within a few +yards if the paddler is skillful; but as he stands perfectly still, +and is difficult to see in the dim light, the tyro generally misses +him. We paddled up to within twenty yards of a buck, and the guide +gave the signal to shoot; but Emerson could see nothing resembling a +deer, and finally the creature took fright and ran, and all we got +of him was the sound of galloping hoofs as he sped away, stopping a +moment, when at a safe distance, to snort at the intruders, and then +off again. We kept on, and presently came upon another, toward which +we drifted even nearer than to the first one, and still Emerson could +see nothing to distinguish the deer from the boulders among which he +stood; and we were scarcely the boat's length from him, when, Emerson +being still unable to see him, and not caring to run the risk of +losing him, for we had no venison in camp and the luck of the morning +drive was always uncertain, I shot him. We had no other opportunity +for the "jack-hunt," and so Emerson went home unsatisfied in this +ambition,--glad, no doubt, when he recalled the incident, that he had +failed. + +The guides--rude men of the woods, rough and illiterate, but with all +their physical faculties at a maximum acuteness, senses on the alert +and keen as no townsman could comprehend them--were Emerson's avid +study. This he had never seen,--the man at his simplest terms, +unsophisticated, and, to him, the nearest approach to the primitive +savage he would ever be able to examine; and he studied every action. +When the dinner was over, and the twilight coming on, he sometimes +asked me to row him out on the lake to see the nightfall and watch the +"procession of the pines," that weird and ghostly phenomenon I have +before alluded to. + +More than a generation has passed since then. Twenty-five years +afterward I went back to the scene of the meeting. Except myself, the +whole company are dead, and the very scene of our acting and thinking +has disappeared down to its geological basis, pillaged, burnt, and +become a horror to see; but, among the memories which are the only +realities left to it, this image of Emerson claiming kinship with the +forest stands out alone, and I feel as if I had stood for a moment on +a mount of transfiguration, and seen, as if in a vision, the typical +American, the noblest in the idealization of the American, of all the +race. Lowell was of a more cosmopolitan type, of a wider range of +sympathies and affections, accepted and bestowed, and to me a +friend, loved as Jonathan loved David; but, as a unique, idealized +individuality, Emerson looms up in that Arcadian dream more and +more the dominant personality. It is as character, and not as +accomplishment or education, that he holds his own in all comparisons +with his contemporaries, the fine, crystallized mind, the keen, +clear-faceted thinker and seer. I loved more Agassiz and Lowell, but +we shall have many a Lowell and Agassiz before we see Emerson's like +again. Attainments will be greater, and discovery and accomplishments +will surpass themselves as we go on, but to _be_, as Emerson was, is +absolute and complete existence. + +Agassiz was, of all our company, the acknowledged master; loved by +all, even to the unlettered woodsmen, who ran to meet his service as +to no other of the company; by all the members of it reverenced as not +even Emerson was; the largest in personality and in universality of +knowledge of all the men I have ever known. No one who did not know +him personally can conceive the hold he had on everybody who came into +relations with him. His vast command of scientific facts, and his +ready command of them for all educational purposes, his enthusiasm for +science and the diffusion of it, even his fascinating way of imparting +it to others, had even less to do with his popularity than the +magnetism of his presence and the sympathetic faculty which enabled +him to find at once the plane on which he should meet whomever he had +to deal with. Of his scientific position I cannot speak, though I can +see that his was the most powerful of the scientific influences of +that epoch in America. When we were traveling it was always in my +boat, and we moved as his investigations prompted, wherever there +seemed to be a promise of some addition to his collections. We dredged +and netted water and air wherever we went, and of course there arose a +certain kind of intimacy, which was partly that of a _camaraderie_ +in which we were approximately equals, that of the backwoods life in +which I was, if a comparison were to be made, the superior, and partly +that of teacher and pupil; for, with trifling attainments, I had the +passion of scientific acquisition, and all that Agassiz needed to open +the store of his knowledge was the willingness of another to learn. + +The _odium scientificum_, which I notice is no less bitter than the +variety _theologicum_, has, in these years, poured on Agassiz the +floods of its opprobrium, and even the little dogs of physical science +bark at his name; but his greater contemporaries knew and esteemed him +better. The revival of the evolutionary hypothesis by Darwin, and the +controversies growing out of it, then filled the air, and Agassiz paid +the penalty of his eminence and constancy to the system in which he +had been grounded by his master, Cuvier. He was attacked and insulted +by men who had never made an observation, and, what was more curious, +as a panderer to the theological prejudices of the past. But in +my mind was still the memory of a former outcry and theological +persecution of him, because he had himself laid down what might +be considered the forerunner of the doctrine of evolution,--the +declaration that the human race could not have been the offspring of +one Adam, but must have had a multiple beginning. The result of this +was to bring on his head the execrations of the theological world in a +storm which no one who had witnessed it was likely to forget or take +for other than what it was, the proof of his absolute scientific +honesty,--a proof needed by no one who knew him personally, but which, +in view of the later animosity shown him, requires reaffirmation. + +As I was much with him at this time, and perhaps, out of his family, +the one to whom he talked with the greatest freedom and fullness on +the subject, owing to my own intense interest in it, it cannot be +amiss that I state his exact position as far as he let me see it. It +must be remembered that the doctrine of evolution, as he knew it, and +in the only form in which it was then stated, was simply and purely +that of development by natural selection acting on chance variation, +and differing mainly by this from the doctrine of Lamarck, which had +long been rejected by the scientific world at large. We have seen +since then that this primitive doctrine has been largely supplemented +by other theories, and that it no longer stands before the scientific +world in the bare simplicity of Darwin's original statement, though +even he, at a later date, claimed natural selection not as the +only but as the most influential agency of variation of species in +creation; repudiating, however, a plan in the universe, and not +demanding the influence of the conscious mind on creation. Agassiz's +primary objection to the doctrine was that it left the creator out of +creation, for it distinctly repudiated the element of design in it; +and, though he did not recognize the Creator of Genesis, he could not +dispense with the supreme mind. + +Myself a convert to the doctrine of evolution, in as absolute a form +as it is held even by the materialists, though differently, I am +persuaded that if Agassiz had lived long enough to see the latest +development of it he would have accepted it, as did Professor Owen, +who was, like Agassiz, and possibly even more literally, a believer +in the designer of the universe. The fundamental ground for Agassiz's +rejection of it is stated by himself in one of the lectures delivered +at Cambridge, as follows: "I believe that all these correspondences +between the different aspects of animal life are the manifestations +of mind acting consciously with intention towards one object from +beginning to end. This view is in accordance with the working of our +minds; it is an instinctive recognition of a mental power with which +our own is akin, manifesting itself in nature. For this reason, more +than any other, perhaps, do I hold that this world of ours was not the +result of the action of unconscious organic forces, but the work of an +intelligent, conscious power." Whatever might have been the process +by which the orderly creation was produced (into which he did not +inquire), it was the result of a definite plan and the work of design. +The immutability of species, _as he defined species_, was the +logical consequence of this theory, and that, it seems to me, is the +substantial difference between him and Darwin. + +But Agassiz was no sectarian, and held no other creed than a belief +in the Creator. In the fibre of the man was the consciousness of +the immanent deity, rooted, perhaps, in that influence of his early +theological environage from which no man can ever escape, though +he may rebel against it; and the almost universal deduction by the +scientific world from Darwin's theory then was that there could be no +divine design in creation. It was this negation of the direction of +the great artist in the process of creation against which Agassiz +rebelled; and although, at a later phase of the conflict, Darwin +himself protested against the implication sometimes drawn from his +theory, there can be no question that at that moment the general +evolutionary opinion was that the hypothesis of a divine authorship +of creation was superfluous. Agassiz maintained the presence of +"Conscious Mind in Creation;" Darwin did not deny it explicitly, nor +did he admit it. + +As a matter of observation, no case of a development of one species +from another has ever been noted, and the evidence for it is precisely +analogous to that adduced by Agassiz, "that it is in accordance +with the working of our minds," still further illuminated by the +side-lights which science has thrown on it since Agassiz died. The +ultimate decision in the individual mind will be according to the bias +for or against the "conscious mind" or automatic creation; and it must +not be forgotten that one of the most powerful arguments for a large +evolution was the discovery by Agassiz that the embryo of the highest +organizations passes through an evolution similar to that of the +animal creation. Professor Martins--a leading French scientist and an +evolutionist--says of Agassiz: "Another of these precursors of modern +science is Louis Agassiz. The oldest fossil forms have a simpler +organization than the later ones, and represent some stage of the +embryonic development of the latter. This truth, established by +Agassiz, has, more than any other, enlightened the history of +creation, and prepared for the generalization by which the whole may +be comprehended. The oldest fishes known are all more or less related +to the sharks and skates; their teeth and scales only, with small +portions of the skeleton, have been preserved. Their form, widely +different from that of the living species, recalls that of the embryo +of our living fishes. This is a truth which Louis Agassiz was the +first to proclaim to the scientific world."[1] + +[Footnote 1: _De l'Origine du Monde organique_.] + +But, beyond this question as to the evidence of mutability of species +which Agassiz did not find, he took the position "that the hypothesis +of the method of creation by evolution exceeded physical science and +became theology, which belonged to the province of theology, into +which he had no intention of venturing." That was his statement to me +during the interval between the two attacks of brain trouble from +the latter of which he died. Science, to his understanding, was +observation and classification, arrangement, and it had no function +in investigating the causes or _modus operandi_ through which things +became what they were. + +Amongst the evolutionists whom I have known there have been several +who did not accept without modification the theory of natural +selection, and supplemented it by design, amongst whom I may mention +the great American botanist, Asa Gray,--one of the most distinguished +of Darwinians,--who accepted the method of evolution as the _modus +operandi_ of the Supreme Intelligence. Professor Jeffries Wyman, the +associate of Agassiz in the University, who was one of the doctors of +our Adirondack company, accepted in a qualified manner the theory of +evolution, but his premature and lamented death set the seal to his +conclusions before they were complete, though I have always had the +impression that his position was similar to that of Gray. To my +question one day as to his conclusions, he replied, with a caution +characteristic of the man and very unlike the resolute attitude of +Agassiz before the question which the Sphinx proposes still, "An +evolution of some sort there certainly was," but nothing more would he +say. The loss to American science in his death can never be estimated, +for his mind was of that subtle and inductive nature which is needed +for such a study, fine to poetic delicacy, penetrating with all the +acumen of a true scientific imagination, but modest to excess, and +personally so attached to Agassiz that he would with reluctance give +expression to a difference from him, though that he did differ was no +occasion for abatement of their mutual regard. Wyman's was the poetry +of scientific research, Agassiz's its prose, and they offered a +remarkable example of mental antithesis, from which, had Wyman lived, +much might have been expected through their association in study. +Wyman had all the delicacy of a fine feminine organization, wedded +unfortunately to a fragile constitution, but the friendship he held +for the robust and dominating character of the great Switzer was to +the utmost reciprocated. + +And Agassiz's disposition was as generous as large. He had absolutely +no scientific jealousy or sectarian feeling. The rancor which was +shown him by some of the Darwinians never disturbed his serenity an +instant; for of the world's opinion of him and his ideas, even when +the "world" was scientific, he never took account other than to regret +that science was the loser, by running off on what he considered side +issues. We had much conversation on the question of evolution and +allied topics, in which my part was naturally that of listener and +only occasional questioner, and I remember the warm appreciation he +always expressed for Darwin and his researches, for his fineness +of observation and scientific honesty. He regarded the widespread +acceptance of the theory of natural selection as one of the epidemics +which have swept the scientific world from time to time, and looked +with absolute serenity to the return of science one day to the +conception of creation by design. + +I am neither qualified nor disposed to pass judgment on Agassiz as +a scientist, or institute any kind of comparison of his relative +authority, and probably the time is far away at which his comparative +eminence can be estimated impartially. I have only to do with his +personality as it appeared to me in our relations, and, as the latest +survivor of those who enjoyed that greenwood intimacy, to put on +record my impression of the great, lovable, magnanimous man. Of his +unbounded generosity and indifference to personal advantage, his +freedom from scientific jealousy, everybody who came in contact with +him was witness. He refused all offers of emolument from any quarter, +and spent all his surplus earnings for the aggrandizement of the great +natural-history museum he founded at Cambridge. The propositions of +the Emperor Napoleon III. he had declined with thanks as soon as +made, and without a thought. He had come to America to study natural +history, and did not propose to be diverted from this purpose. To a +lecturing agent who offered him a very large sum for delivering a +course of lectures in the principal cities of the Union, he replied +that he had no time to make money; and he died of overwork, insatiate +in the pursuit of the completion of his museum and the classification +of his observations. I have heard him speak with pain of the animosity +shown him by a Swiss associate in his glacial investigations, who +had once been his warm advocate, but there was no bitterness in his +manner. I am convinced that there was no bitterness in him, and that +all personal feeling was overshadowed and minimized by his absolute +devotion to scientific truth, with his loyalty to which nothing ever +interfered. + +His influence even on the business men of the city of Boston and the +legislature of the State of Massachusetts was the most remarkable +phenomenon of the kind ever witnessed in that frugal and +matter-of-fact community, for he had only to announce that he wanted +for his museum or department in the University a donation or an +appropriation, to obtain either, so absolutely recognized was his +unselfish devotion to science by all classes. There are few of us left +who can remember the sudden shadow that fell on our community at his +unexpected death, and the universal grief that told of the hold he had +on the entire nation; and the mourning extended far beyond the circle +of personal acquaintance with Agassiz. Even men who had no interest in +physical science took it into consideration on account of him, carried +away by his enthusiastic advocacy of its advancement. The religious +world forgot the indignation at his repudiation of Adam in the refuge +it found from absolute atheism in his affirmation of a Supreme +Intelligence, as Creator of all things, though to theological +contentions he never gave the slightest consideration. + +It is needless to say that this was the effect, not of scientific +education or of the capacity in the great majority of those who +accepted his position to judge of a theory or a scientific line of +demonstration, but of the dominance of personal character in the man, +his inflexible honesty and disinterestedness. The last time I saw +him was when he came to make me a brief visit in a glen of the White +Mountains, where I was encamped near a subject which I was painting, +and which was in part composed of huge boulders, dropped in the +gorge by a primeval glacier, and brought, perhaps, from beyond Lake +Superior. He had then had the first attack of the brain trouble, from +which he was recovering, and was making a mountain trip where he +could, if possible, study and rest at once. But his want of common +prudence in regard to overwork prevented his recovery, and he died +just as he was beginning to elaborate his conclusions on the doctrine +of evolution, for which he had a colossal plan, cut short in its +opening. He was always too hurried in his work, as if he knew that his +life would not suffice for its completion, if indeed completion were +possible in such work, and he persisted in accumulation of material +without pause either to coordinate his ideas or to rest and reflect. I +one day said to him that I was intending to write a little book, and +he exclaimed: "Oh, I wish I had time to write a little book! All my +books come large, and I have not the time to condense them." + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +LOWELL + + +The third magnate of our Club was Lowell, with whose personality the +world at large is already well acquainted. In his own day and presence +it was impossible to form a satisfactory personal judgment of him, and +even now, through the perspective of the years since he died, it is +out of the question for me to pronounce a dispassionate judgment. Of +all that New England world, so hospitable, so brotherly to me that +if I had been born in Cambridge it could hardly have been more kind, +Lowell and Norton were those who most made my welcome free from any +embarrassment to myself. Norton, almost exactly my contemporary, is +still living, and which of us two shall say the last word for the +other is in the lap of the gods, but in the Adirondack Club life he +does not appear. No kinder or wiser friend have I ever had. Himself +the son of one of the most distinguished of the great Unitarian +leaders of liberal New England, his broad, common-sense views of +sectarian questions first widened my religious horizon, emancipated me +from the tithes of mint and cummin, and helped me to see the value +of observances, and his hand was always held out to me in those +straitened moments in which my impulsive and ill-regulated manner of +life continually landed me. I shall not disturb the serenity of his +old age by the indiscreet garrulity of mine. But the brotherhood +between him and Lowell brought our lives together, and Lowell was the +pole to which both our needles swung. Norton's delicate health made it +impossible for him to take part in the excursions made by the Club, +though he was enrolled as a member. + +Of Lowell much has been said by many people, some of whom were less, +and others, perhaps, better acquainted with him than I was, but of him +I can speak at least without restraint, other than that which love and +gratitude impose. And to-day, more than forty years since I found his +friendship what it ever remained, the judgment I formed of him at +first acquaintance comes up again in one point dominant. He seemed to +me a man whom good fortune, and especially the favor of society, had +prevented from filling the role that fate had intended for him. There +was in not a few of his poems the promise of reaching a height which +was attainable only to a man who climbs light. There was in him the +possible making of a great reformer, an evangelist, which possibility +never became actuality, owing to the weight which social success laid +on him. + +All through his early poems runs the thread of a fine morality, the +perception of the highest obligations of religion and philanthropy, +the subtle distinction of the purest Christianity, the defense of the +weak and oppressed, the succor of the poor; in fine, the creed of a +practical religion which required its adherent to go into the slums +and out on the highways to carry out his convictions in acts. In the +warfare he waged on slavery when the anti-slavery cause was very +unpopular, and, in the case of Garrison and others, brought on its +advocates continual danger and occasional violence, Lowell was +unsparing in the denunciation of the national sin; but whether because +the anti-abolition public which ruled Boston thought denunciation +in form of verse had no practical value, or because the personal +fascination the man always exercised on all around him was such as to +disarm hostility, it happened that he was never made the object of +aggression. + + "Men called him but a shiftless youth, + In whom no good they saw; + And yet, unwittingly, in truth, + They made his careless word their law. + + "Men granted that his speech was wise, + But, when a glance they caught + Of his slim grace and woman's eyes, + They laughed and called him good-for-naught." + +There was a gracious indolence in him, an imperturbable serenity, +which made proclamation in advance of a truce to all forms of brute +collision. No doubt if they had hunted him out for a victim of the +political animosity which led to so many tragedies in the early days +of our anti-slavery agitation, he would have stood up to the stake as +gayly as one of the martyrs of old; but the man's nature was repugnant +to discords, and shrank from combats ruder than those of the +printing-press. + +All through his career, the religion of humanity is put forward with +point and persistence, and the finest of distinctions in morality are +maintained,--the so constantly ignored vital difference between the +deed and its motive, as in "Sir Launfal:"-- + + "The Holy Supper is kept, indeed, + In whatso we share with another's need; + Not what we give, but what we share,-- + For the gift without the giver is bare; + Who gives himself with his alms feeds three,-- + Himself, his hungering neighbor, and Me;" + +so that one might have expected from him the life of a social +reformer, so keenly did he feel the outrages of civilization. But, +possibly from the fact that in those days human slavery in our country +summed up all villainies and crimes, and in the war against that he +threw all his surplus energy, he never took part in the crusade then +beginning against the more familiar iniquities nearer home. But in his +constitution there was, I think, another reason why the author of "Sir +Launfal," "Hunger and Cold," "The Landlord," and "The Search" should +not have emulated Howard or Miss Fry, and have gone into the realms of +destitution to relieve its wrongs. He was extremely fastidious, and +anything that offended his taste by vulgarity or crudeness repelled +him with such force that the work of practical philanthropy would have +been impossible to his temperament. The indolence I have above spoken +of--which must not be confounded with slothfulness, but is, as the +true meaning of the word indicates, the following of the dictates of +the temperament, whether in activity or rest--led him to contemplation +rather than action. + +The refined idealism of his nature, made more subtle by the indulgence +of an idolizing circle of relatives and friends, who saw in him the +promise of more even than he ever attained, or than was possible to +the smooth prosperity of his life, made it impossible for him to +thrust himself into the social conflicts, whether of poverty or of +politics, though the finest and most exalted passages of his work +were not so fine and exalted as his personality; he was better than +anything he ever wrote, and this is understood by all who knew him, +and that what he wrote was only the overflow of a mind which never +needed a stimulus to divine cogitation. The fascination, the subtle +personal glamour he unconsciously threw over those who came in true +contact with him, made them always expect more than he accomplished, +for in that there was not even the stimulus of ambition. What he did +was done with the spontaneousness of the wind or the sunshine. If he +had a vanity, it was to be in all points accoutred for his place in +society; but even this was so lightly held that few knew him well +enough to see it, and it was never a motive power in him. + +Knowing all his earlier work before I knew him, I thought I detected a +want of that profounder sympathy with humanity and the pathos of life +which comes from actual suffering, and I remember saying to one of his +admirers, before I saw him, that what he wanted to make him a great +poet was suffering. This he had gained somewhat of when I made his +acquaintance. His wife had died not long before I went to Cambridge to +see him and to enlist his assistance in "The Crayon," and he was in +the earliest phase of the reaction from a sorrow which had made him +insist on solitude. All his surroundings had kept up the impressions +of his bereavement, and all his associates sympathized with and +respected it, and I came in with a new life just as he came to need +relief from the depression which had become morbid. He has told it in +one of his first letters to me:-- + + "I am glad you had a pleasant time here. I had, and you made me + fifteen years younger while you stayed. When a man gets to my age, + enthusiasms don't often knock at the door of his garret. I am all + the more charmed with them when they come. A youth full of such + pure intensity of hope and faith and purpose, what is he but the + breath of a resurrection trumpet to us stiffened old fellows, + bidding us up out of our clay and earth if we would not be too + late? + + "Your inspiration is still to you a living mistress; make her + immortal in her promptings and her consolations by imaging her + truly in art. Mine looks at me with eyes of paler flame, and + beckons across a gulf. You came into my loneliness like an + incarnate inspiration. And it is dreary enough sometimes; for a + mountain peak on whose snow your foot makes the first mortal print + is not so lonely as a room full of happy faces from which one is + missing forever." + +The tone of his life at that period is given in the few poems of the +time, published later: the "Ode to Happiness," which he read to me +unfinished during that first visit; "The Wind-Harp," in which + + "There murmured, as if one strove to speak, + And tears came instead; then the sad tones wandered + And faltered among the uncertain chords + In a troubled doubt between sorrow and words; + At last with themselves they questioned and pondered, + 'Hereafter?--who knoweth?' and so they sighed + Down the long steps that lead to silence and died;" + +"The Dead House," "Auf Wiedersehen (Summer)" and the "Palinode +(Autumn)," in which the first grief had deepened while losing its +acuteness, and the feeling of loneliness had taken largely the place +of the first desolation, the wrenching apart of soul and body:-- + + "It is pagan; but wait till you feel it,-- + That jar of our earth, that dull shock + When the ploughshare of deeper passion + Tears down to our primitive rock;" + +and some of his friends had tried the folly of condolence, to whom he +replies, in the same poem ("After the Burial"):-- + + "Console if you will, I can bear it; + 'Tis a well-meant alms of breath; + But not all the preaching since Adam + Has made Death other than Death." + +But the man was too robust in body and mind to linger long in the +shadows of melancholy, and though the effects of bereavement--which, +in the few years before I knew him, had taken his only boy, who died +in Rome, his elder daughter, of whose death "The First Snow-Fall" +keeps a touching record, and finally his wife--deepened his character +as expressed in his subsequent writing, the buoyancy and elasticity +which he found in his enjoyment of nature, and his severe application +to the studies of the new position to which the retirement of +Longfellow from the professorship of modern languages at Harvard +promoted him, restored his old tone of life, while his very happy +marriage with his second wife made him, as may now be said without +indiscretion, happier than he had ever been. + +The second Mrs. Lowell was a woman of the rarest mental, moral, and +personal qualities, and her influence on Lowell was of the happiest +and sunniest. She was one of three daughters of a merchant of Maine, +who had left them without other resources than what their own +excellent education gave them, and with the charge of a younger +brother, for whose education they provided after the New England way. +The other sisters I never knew; but Fannie, Mrs. Lowell, was one of +the most remarkable women I ever knew for the combination of resolute +and persistent courage and serene religious temperament. She was a +Swedenborgian, and probably owed to that form of faith her serenity +and imperturbable faith in a Divine Providence; but her unflinching +courage in adversity and her extreme sweetness of character were of +her New England birth and education. After her father's death she +became a governess, and came to Lowell's house in that capacity after +the death of his wife; but she had, before that, gone through many +vicissitudes of fortune. She told me one day an incident of travel +which is worth recording as indicating her character. She had been +in a situation in Charleston, S.C., and had accepted another in the +valley of the Ohio, to reach which, there being then no railway that +traversed the distance, she had to make a long journey by stagecoach, +traveling day and night across the Alleghanies. One night she found +herself in the coach with a single fellow-passenger, apparently a +gentleman, who took his place with her on the back seat, and who, +after a time, pretending to be asleep, fell over towards her, so that +his head lay on her shoulder, but, correcting himself, sat upright +again, to repeat the feint again and again, each time with more +abandon, until his arm dropped behind Fannie's waist, with an +unmistakable attempt to embrace her. She quietly drew out her +shawl-pin and drove it into his arm, without any remark or other +attention to him. He sat up instantly, at the next stopping-place took +an outside seat, and discontinued his journey at the first town they +came to. + +Mrs. Lowell fitted her husband as sunshine fits calm, and the gravest +sorrow he ever felt with her was her having no children. When, two or +three years after the time I am now writing of, I had decided to go +to Europe again, and he tried to dissuade me from going, and I, for +reasons I could not tell him, persisted, he brought me one day, just +before I sailed, six hundred dollars, insisting on my accepting it as +a gift, saying: "I shall never want it. I know now that I shall never +have another child, and I can well spare it." Lowell had never been +wealthy, but he had an income sufficient for all needs in the state of +life which he preferred, and his generosity towards his friends who +were poorer than he took all the surplus. He rejoiced in the addition +to his income in the salary of his professorship, but it added nothing +to his own expenditure. And yet I have always felt that if he had +been a poor man, compelled to work for his daily bread, he would have +occupied a larger place in the world of letters. He was not one of the +"intellectual giants buried under mountains of gold," but he was +a greater man than he ever showed him self, always cushioned by a +sufficiency of fortune for all his needs, and by his tastes inclined +to a simple and tranquil life; for, though he became later a political +personage, he cared little, _au fond_, for the political world. +Perhaps the little was too much for his attainment as a poet, and some +of his best friends have always held that his diplomatic life was a +disaster for his intellectual completion. + +I have elsewhere alluded to his going to Europe to complete the +preparations to enter into his professorship, and when he came back +from this voyage he said to me, "I must study yet a good deal before I +attempt to produce anything more." He finally felt the carelessness of +form in his work, and in the succeeding years he worked very hard +in his professorial work, which was, perhaps, not the best for his +advancement as an author, but it certainly gave more solidity to the +production of those years which intervened between his simpler life +and his diplomatic career. His lectures before the students and the +public (the popularity of Lowell as a lecturer was immense) solidified +an education which, as he himself humorously avowed, was often broken +by freaks of irrepressible youthful spirit; and the saddening and +indelible effects of the war, which came between and sharply divided +those phases of his career, had so modified his character for the +graver and more profound that I agree with those of his friends who +consider his entry into the diplomatic career as a misfortune for +American letters, and that his mind flowed to waste in those later +years. Nor was he at home in diplomacy. It was a reversal of all the +conditions of his habitual existence; but it flattered his _amour +propre_ that the country should recognize the part he had taken in the +cultivation of the anti-slavery sentiment of the nation, and the trace +of worldly feeling which I have noted grew under the stimulus to a +motive in life. His social gifts were very great, and his patriotic +pride intensified the pleasure of his successes in a line of life +which was really secondary in his nature. + +In those years of his diplomatic life we saw little of each other. Our +intimate intercourse was suspended by my going to Europe in 1859. We +were nearest each other in our Adirondack life, in which he had all +the zest of a boy. He was the soul of the merriment of the company, +fullest of witticisms, keenest in appreciation of the liberty of +the occasion, and the _genius loci_. One sees through all his +nature-poetry the traces of the heredity of the early settler, the +keen enjoyment of the fresh and unhackneyed in nature, even of the +angularity of the New England farmhouse and the brightness and newness +of the villages, so crude to the tastes founded in the picturesqueness +of the Old World. Not even Emerson, with all his indifference to the +mere form of things, took to unimproved and uncivilized nature as +Lowell did, and his free delight in the Wilderness was a thing to +remember, and perhaps by none so keenly appreciated as by me, to whom +the joy of forest life was a satisfactory motive for living. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +THE ADIRONDACK AND FLORIDA + + +Of the rest of our company in that famous old camp by "Follansbee +Water" there is little more to be said which will interest others or +recall names known to the world. I painted a study of the camp and its +inhabitants, with the intention of making from it, at a future time, a +picture which should commemorate the meeting; but, owing to changes in +my plans, it remained a study, and was purchased by Judge Hoar, the +most eminent of my companions still to be described. He had been a +justice of the Superior Court of Massachusetts,--a man as well known +for his intellectual fibre and sympathy with letters as for his +judicial abilities. He was one of the most brilliant members of the +old Saturday Club, of which ours might be considered the offspring and +succursal; of wit the most spontaneous and electric, whose sallies +burst in the merriment of our _al fresco_ camp dinners with the flash +and surprise of rockets, and left behind them the perfume of erudition +as did no others of the company, not even Lowell's. In my study the +party is divided in the habit of the morning occupations: Lowell, +Hoar, Binney, Woodman, and myself engaged in firing at the target; +Agassiz and Wyman dissecting a trout on a tree-stump, while Holmes +and Dr. Howe watch the operation; but Emerson, recognizing himself as +neither a marksman nor a scientist, choosing a position between the +two groups, pilgrim-staff in hand, watches the marksmen, with a slight +preference as between the two groups. My own figure I painted from a +photograph, the company insisting on my putting myself in; but it was +ill done, for I could never paint from a photograph. + +When the company left me I returned to my painting, and remained in +camp as long as the weather permitted. On my return to Cambridge I +became affianced to Miss Mack, the eldest daughter of Dr. David Mack, +with whom I had been boarding while I was occupied in painting the +various pictures of the Oaks at Waverley. + +The excursion had been so satisfactory that when the whole company +had come together again, in the autumn, at Cambridge, the formal +organization of the Club was called for, and to the number of those +who had been at Camp Maple there was a large accession of the most +prominent members of the intellectual society of Boston and Cambridge. +It was decided to purchase a tract in the Adirondack Wilderness, the +less accessible the better, and there to build a permanent club-house, +and I was appointed to select the site and lay it out. The meeting was +late in the autumn, and the winter had set in with heavy snow before I +had my orders. I caught a severe cold at New York,--a trivial +matter to notice, but one which very narrowly escaped the gravest +consequences to me; for the cold became aggravated to a bronchial +attack, disregarding which I pushed on into the Wilderness, and +drove from the settlements in to the Saranac in a storm, facing +a northwesterly wind which, filling the air with a cold fog as +penetrating as the wind, crystallized on every tree and twig, and made +the entire forest, as far as the eye could reach, like a forest of +frosted silver. It was a spectacle for a lifetime, and has never been +offered to me again; but I reached Martin's, where we had to put up, +dangerously chilled. + +Next day, however, I had all the guides of the neighborhood in for +consultation as to a certain tract which I had fixed on from report +and general knowledge of the region, and we planned a survey in the +snow. It was fourteen miles from any house to the lake I had fixed +on,--that known as the Ampersand Pond; but, fortunately, there were, +amongst the guides called in, some who had been assistants in the +official survey, and, with their practical knowledge and memory of the +lines, I was enabled, without leaving the inn, to draw a map of the +section of a township which included the lake, and determine its exact +position, with the fact that it had been forfeited to the State at +the last tax sale, and was for sale at the land office in Albany. We +bought the entire section, less 500 acres, taxes on which had been +paid, for the sum of $600,--thus securing for the Club a tract +of 22,500 acres. My cough was increasing alarmingly, and, when I +consulted a physician at New York, he advised me to get home and to +bed as quickly as I might; so, returning to Boston, I called together +the executive committee of the Club to dinner, made my report, drank a +glass of champagne to the future lodge, and went to bed in the early +stages of pneumonia, which kept me prostrate six weeks. + +I owed it to the fortunate and intelligent woodcraft of my guides that +I was not caught in the depth of the forest by the increasing lung +trouble, probably never to return to civilization. It was the closest +shave to death that I have ever had, and the actual survey of the +tract, buried four feet deep in snow, without a shelter or other bed +than the ground, would in all probability have finished me, for I +barely escaped as it was; but I was determined to finish my work, +animated by the same incomprehension of, rather than indifference to, +the danger before me which had obtained in my Hungarian expedition +and in many other circumstances of my life. Something of the splendid +physical health I brought back with me from the Wilderness helped me, +no doubt, through the attack of pneumonia and pleurisy, which +released me in the early spring, when I was ordered off to Florida to +recuperate. Being advised not to occupy myself with painting while +there, I bought a photographic apparatus, and learned photography +as it was practiced in 1857,--a rude, inefficient, and cumbersome +apparatus and process for field work, of which few amateurs nowadays +can conceive the inconveniences. + +This trip--for the means to make which I was indebted to Norton, my +illness having exhausted my resources, and the great crisis which had +broken over New York the year before having swept off the fortune of +my brother--gave me a sight of the South before the war, with slavery +and the patriarchal system at its perfection. I went up the St. John's +River, and took board at a plantation called Hibernia, one of numerous +similar establishments on the river, hotels proper not existing there. +The owner of the plantation, old Colonel Fleming, was one of the +traditional patriarchal planters, and the experience I gained there +certainly agreed with the views of the institution of slavery +entertained by the great majority of Southern people I have known. I +never heard of the punishment of a slave, or saw a discontented negro; +the black children were the jolliest little creatures I ever saw in +clothes, and the adults seemed to do as much or as little work as they +pleased. + +I had carried my rifle with me, and young Fleming and I used to go +hunting for alligators, still abundant in the river. The thickets +of palmetto and the groves of magnolia filling the air with new and +cloying fragrance, alternating with other unaccustomed odors which +made the grove resemble an orchestra of perfumes, were to me a new and +delightful experience. There was a mythical wild turkey in the woods +around, and the hope of a shot at him carried me many a mile, though +he proved only a myth; but of rattlesnakes and copperheads there was +no lack. As I was collecting specimens for the natural-history museum +of Cambridge, I canned the largest snakes that I came across, and I +secured one rattlesnake which measured nine feet; but the fear of his +kind never damped my enthusiasm for the luxuriant forest. Into the +great cypress swamps, with their centennial trees, swarming with +reptiles of infinite variety, there run devious inlets which they call +"creeks," and up these I used to paddle my skiff, and lie and watch +the teeming life, wishing I were a naturalist. I spent a week at +the ancient (for America) town of St. Augustine, on the Atlantic +coast,--then the sleepy watering-place of a few Southern +invalids,--and enjoyed greatly its local color, so different from that +of all other American towns, its picturesque fortress of the days +of Spanish rule, and its Spanish fishermen, in their undiluted +nationality and costume. I here poisoned myself dreadfully, rubbing +with my legs some poison plant as I shinned up the trees for epiphytal +orchids, new to me and an irresistible attraction. + +To naturalists, this part of Florida must have been a most interesting +field before the bird-slaughterers had invaded it to the extermination +of its myriad population of feathered winterers from the Northern +regions. The geological formation is a concrete of shells of enormous +thickness, which has hardened to the only semblance of rock which the +coast affords, and the low dunes have shut off from the Atlantic long +lagoons which swarm with life, marine and aquatic creatures occurring +in numberless species and orders; alligators lie in wait for their +prey, and schools of porpoises come in by the inlets in pursuit of +other schools of fat mullet which swarm in the water. Such teeming +life I had never before any conception of. In the surf the sharks +lurked and coasted up and down, watching us as we waded in fishing for +bass, if by chance we should give them an opportunity for a bite; the +sharp, warning fin showing in the hollow green of the combing breaker +ever and anon as we stood thigh-deep in the foam. It made one shudder +to see that silent terror patrolling up and down the margin of the +deep water, waiting for an incautious venture of the bather beyond the +shallows, into which the shark dared not come. + +I went with a fishing party down the coast to Matanzas, an abandoned +fort of the early Spanish days, and passed there the most impressive +open-air night in my recollection. We camped on the beach, and my +shelter was a gauze mosquito netting stretched over four poles, about +three feet high, driven in the sand, and as wide as high, and my bed +was the sea sand, no covering being required. Through the gauze the +sea breeze blew gently; on one side of the long, narrow beach the +great Atlantic breakers roared a monotonous bass, and on the other +there came from the lagoon the many-toned murmur of a thousand bird +voices, some familiar and some strange, whooping of cranes and +chattering of coots, ducks, and divers, cries of pelicans, and now +and then the sound of flapping wings, as if some great bird had been +routed out and had changed his feeding-ground. Around me on the sand +ran and crawled the host of crabs, some pulling curiously at the gauze +of my shelter; and now and then a huge spider crab climbed up the +netting like a squirrel and danced an infernal jig over my head, +skipping about on the very tips of his claws, until I tired of his +frivolity and hit him from underneath, when he scuttled away, and +after half an hour, more or less, was succeeded by another, as if they +found an intoxication in dancing over my head. The gnats sang their +monody, and the midges put in their treble, but the meshes of my +gauze were too fine to let them pass; and after hours of this strange +pandemonium I fell asleep, to be waked in the morning by the sun +streaming over me from the broad Atlantic. + +It is worthy to note here, in justice to the old days of the Floridian +society, a society now utterly extinct, and a subject of history, that +the kindliness to the slaves was universal on the St. John's River. At +nightfall they used to gather in their quarters and sing; and they had +a peculiar yodel, which, starting from one plantation, was caught up +by the others, and ran round and off along the river into the +distance and back, going and coming again and again with a peculiar +fascination, like the voice of a happy and careless common life. It +was a kindly and indulgent community, and that it was a slave-holding +society never forced itself on the attention. The lazy social virtues +had, no doubt, their lazy vices, but we never saw them on the surface. +The negro quarters were as merry as the day was long, and the negro +was a more important and better appreciated element of social life +than in the North. The whole valley joined in unreserved malediction +of a planter, one of our neighbors, who had profited by the accidental +burning of the free papers of a black family which had been bought out +of slavery by the father, with money earned as pilot to the steamers +of the United States Army during the Seminole War, to compel him to +purchase himself and his wife and children again, and the thief was +spoken of as the meanest of white men, out of the social pale of +self-respecting folk; cheating a slave being far worse than cheating +one of his own class. The old scoundrel was the reproach of the whole +community; but no more formal indictment of the system of slavery, as +established in the United States, is required than the fact that a +former master could recall to slavery an emancipated slave family, the +head of which had paid in hard cash for himself, his wife, and all his +children, because his free papers had been burned, in a fire of +which, moreover, the neighbors accused the former owner of being the +incendiary. While those papers were in existence the negro could +legally sue and be sued; but without them he had no more legal rights +than a dog. The life which honest people lived in that primitive +community was Arcadian, and it is probable that even in Arcadia they +had slaves. Certainly, in my experience of living in many countries +and under various systems, I have not found that the most primitive +system secures the largest personal liberty; rather the contrary. + +I returned to my painting with the early summer, and, when the season +came, to the organization of the Club and the inauguration of its +club-house and grounds. It was certainly the most beautiful site I +have ever seen in the Adirondack country,--virgin forest, save where +the trappers or hunters had cut wood for their camp-fires, the tall +pines standing in their long ranks along the shores of a little lake +that lay in the middle of the estate, encircled by mountains, except +on one side, where the lake found its outlet; and the mountains were +cloaked to their summits in primeval woods. In a little valley where +a crystal spring sent its water down to the lake, and a grove of +deciduous trees gave high and airy shelter, I pitched the camp,--a +repetition slightly enlarged of that on Follansbee Pond. As usual I +preceded the Club party, accompanied by S.G. Ward and his son, and +also the son of Emerson, to prepare the ground. The solitude of the +locality may be judged from the first hunt. We had arrived late in the +day, and had no food except the bread we took with us, and the next +morning we had to kill our breakfast before we could eat it. I took +Mr. Ward and the boys in my boat and paddled down to the foot of the +lake, where was a wide beach, on which we found a two-year-old buck +grazing. I paddled to within fifty yards of him, and, though I found +that my rifle would not go off and had to change it for another, with +considerable movement, the deer took no notice of us, and I dropped +him in his tracks with a feeling of compunction only overcome by the +fact that we had no breakfast if he went away. So peaceful was our +realm! I have often paddled within easy shot of a deer on other +waters, but only by remaining motionless when he was looking round, +for the movement of a hand would send him flying in panic; but this +poor deer might have been reared in Eden. + +The meeting of the Club that year was a most successful one; and when +it was over, and I was left alone to my painting, I selected a subject +in which, for the first time, I introduced a dramatic element. I +supposed that a hunter and a buck had had a hand-to-horn fight, and, +during it, had fallen together over a ledge of rocks, at the bottom of +which both lay dead. A perpendicular ledge of granite, about twenty +feet high, mosses and ferns clinging in its crevices, overhanging a +level space covered with a heavy growth of luxuriant fern, furnished +the background. There I laid the first large buck I killed, and +painted him with extreme care, and then painted my guide with his arms +locked in the antlers of the deer. The hour was the late afternoon, +when the red sunlight slanted through the trees and fell in broken +masses on the face of the cliff, catching the leaves here and there in +its path. All this was painted carefully from the scene, with as +much of the details of the forest as the time permitted, on a canvas +twenty-five by thirty inches, on which I worked about two months, till +the lake began to freeze and the snow fell. The thermometer was about +zero Fahrenheit before I broke off, early in November. + +I never enjoyed so entirely the forest life as that autumn. I had laid +a line of sable traps for miles through the woods, and caught several +"prime" sable which I intended as a present to my fiancee, and the +long walks over the line in the absolute silence of the great forest, +the snowfall, and the gorgeous autumn were more fascinating than ever +before. The bears left their tracks around me, and several pumas made +themselves heard, but of wolves, which I had heard in other parts of +the woods, I heard none. Returning in the gloaming from my traps, +one day, I heard at a distance a wailing cry like that of a woman in +distress, to which I replied by hallooing at the top of my voice. +After a few minutes I heard the cry again, approaching me, and again +responded. The cry continued, still nearer and nearer, but slow in its +approach; and, wondering why so slow, I finally fired my rifle three +times rapidly, which is the conventional signal for help, and at the +same time a reply to the call for help; and it was only when this +evoked no further call that I remembered that the cry was that of a +puma. + +As usual I lived alone, save for the weekly visit of my guide bringing +me bread and my post. It was with the greatest reluctance that I +obeyed the necessity to return to the state of civilization, and +took leave of that most charming retreat of the natural man from the +artificial life. That was my last serious experience of woodland +life. The uneasy and thriftless spirit which drove me out, like the +possessed of the Scripture, to wander in strange places at times, +again drove me that winter to England, putting, as it happened, +against my intention or prevision, an end to the American period of my +life. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +ENGLAND AGAIN + + +I have generally been happy at sea; and when not so, it has been from +reasons apart from the sea itself,--preoccupations which kept me +insensible to the old charm, or mental troubles which made me +insensible to everything beside them. On this voyage I had the +company of an old friend of the days of "The Crayon," one of our most +thoughtful and successful portrait painters, George Fuller, and a +young friend of his, a Mr. Ames. We sailed just before Christmas, in +an old sailing ship of about eight hundred tons burthen; for, unless +time is of importance, I prefer a sailing ship to a steamer, and one +pleasant companion is worth a shipload of commonplace fellow-voyagers. +A stiff westerly blow caught us off Sandy Hook, and never left us till +we were halfway across the Atlantic, increasing in violence every day, +until it gave me, what I had always longed for, but never seen, a +first-class gale on the open ocean. + +I had said to the captain (one of the old sort of Cape Cod sailors, +still a young man, however) that I wanted to see a real gale; and one +day, after we had been out nearly a week, he called me up on deck, +saying, "You wanted to see a gale, and now you may see it; for unless +you get into a tornado you will never see anything worse than this." I +went on deck, obliged to hold firmly to the rails or some part of the +rigging, for the wind was such as to have carried me overboard if I +had attempted to stand alone on the quarter-deck. We were running with +the wind dead abaft, under a reefed fore-topsail and a storm +jib, everything else having been taken in the night before. The +studding-sail boom of the foreyard, which had been carelessly left +out, had been broken off short in the earing, from the pressure of the +wind on the bare spar. The roaring of the wind through the rigging was +such as only one who has heard it can conceive. + +I gripped close the quarter-deck railing, and drew myself aft to the +shelter of the wheelhouse, where, securing myself from being blown +away like a piece of paper, I watched the sea. It rose behind us in +huge mountains, the summits of which were always combing over and +sliding down the weltering flanks of the wave,--not like the surf on a +shore, but pushed over like snow; and as a wave overtook us lying in +the bottom of the valley, it so overhung that it seemed impossible +that when it broke it should not bury us; but the stern was always +caught by the forefoot of it, and the old ship began to rise, and went +up, up, up, until I was dizzy. Then we hovered on the summit a moment, +looking out on such an expanse of gigantic waves as I had never +pictured to myself, the distance lost in the driving spray; and, while +I looked, the wave passed from under us, and we went down and down +with a rapidity of descent which was almost like falling from a +balloon. Then, after another moment's rest in the valley, came the +shuddering half apprehension of the next wave as it rose above us, +threatening again, and then, after again soaring aloft, down again +into the driving of the spray; the old ship rolling, plunging, and now +and then quivering, as some side wave struck her, with a complication +of motions, sidelong and headlong, the huge waves flying before us and +yet carrying us on,--wild motions, rolling, pitching, sinking down the +long green slope into the valley, to be flung up into the tumult of +wind and wave again. In all this complexity of forces we were as +helpless as feathers in the wind, cut off from mother earth as much +as if we were carried away on the clouds; the feeling of absolute +insignificance growing on one as the ship drove on, the creaking of +the ship and the hissing rush of the waters hardly audible for the +shrieking of the gale through the rigging. In all my life I have never +so understood the utter impotence and triviality of humanity as I felt +it then. + +The ship, though not in measure with the colossi of later times, was +yet a huge mass as measured by the man, and she was no more than +a cork on the tide. Up and down she went, like a child's +swing,--wallowing and rolling, with the sea breaking over the side +till the channels were full, and pouring over the bows in green +torrents, and then in blinding deluges of spray and water over the +stern; tearing along ten knots an hour, and yet always seeming to +be left behind by the waves that tore by us,--the great waves, that +obeyed the wind only to be crushed down again by it, spurting up here +and there fitfully in pinnacles which were instantly driven off in +foam and froth; no combing waves, such as the land dweller sees, +for no wave could rise enough to comb,--only great hills of water, +crystalline with wavelets, streaked with spun foam, heaving as if from +a blind impulse, and leaving us, in a contemptuous toleration, to keep +afloat if we could. And now and then two great waves raced each other, +as they will at long intervals, till they ran close to each other and +united, and we were thrown aloft a little higher, to see nothing more +than a wild waste of foam, spray, and watery chaos which defies human +language to express it. + +This was the sea as I had wanted to see it, and as no painter has ever +painted, or probably ever will paint it, and as very few could ever +have seen it; for in seventy thousand miles of sea travel I have seen +it only once. For three days and nights our captain never left the +bridge to rest. Of two other ships that left New York the same day +that we did, one was dismasted to the south of us, and the other had +her quarters stove in and barely escaped foundering just to the north +of us. The gale blew out and left us in a dead calm, which lasted +a couple of days, when another gale of three days drove us in the +direction we wanted to go, and dropped us off Torquay in the morning +of what seemed a delicious spring day, all sunshine and south wind. We +hailed a fishing boat and went ashore. We had left a land buried in +snow and ice, and we reached one in early spring, though it was still +January, the gorse in odorous blossoming, and in the hedgerows the +early wild flowers in profusion. But we learned, on landing, that the +recent gales had strewn the shores of England with wrecks, with great +loss of life. It had been one of those terrible winters which have +helped make the British sailor the sea dog he is. + +I took lodgings in Charles Street, Middlesex Hospital, near Wehnert, +and worked hard. I had brought my "Bed of Ferns," a large study from +nature on Saranac Lake, and one or two smaller studies. I had visits +from Dante Rossetti, Leighton (then in all the glory of his Cimabue +picture, and in the promise of even a greater career than he finally +attained), Millais, Val Prinsep, and Boyce. I had brought letters from +Lowell to Tom Hughes, from Norton to Arthur Hugh Clough, from Agassiz +to Professor Owen. Hughes introduced me to the Cosmopolitan Club, +where I made the acquaintance, amongst others whom I do not remember, +of Millais and Monckton Milnes. + +The artists who came seemed to be interested in my work, especially +in the "Bed of Ferns," of which Rossetti--whose opinion I valued more +than any other, for he was very honest and blunt in his criticisms, +and not at all inclined to flattery--expressed himself in strong terms +of praise. As it was the first thing in which I had attempted to +introduce a human interest in the landscape, I was naturally inclined +to consider it my most important work, and I was dismayed when Ruskin +came to see me, and, in a tone of extreme disgust, said, pointing to +the dead deer and man: "What do you put that stuff in for? Take it +out; it stinks!" My reverence for Ruskin's opinion was such that I +made no hesitation in painting out the central motive of the picture, +for which both subject and effect of light had been selected. +Unfortunately, I habitually used copal varnish as a medium. When +Rossetti called again, he asked me, with a look of dismay, what I had +done to my picture. I explained to him that on Ruskin's advice I +had painted out the figures, and exclaiming, "You have spoiled your +picture!" he walked out of the room in a rage. However, I sent it to +the Academy as it was, and had it back, "Not hung, for want of room," +or something equivalent. I then tried to remove the pigment which hid +my figures; but the varnish was refractory, and, after a vain attempt, +I finally cut the picture up and stuck it in the fire. + +The incident, though it cost me the work of three months, and was +in fact the only important outcome of the summer's study, did not +diminish my confidence in Ruskin's judgment and correct feeling for +art. It required a still more severe experience. As all the world +knows, that knows anything of Ruskin's ways with artists, he was blunt +and outspoken in his criticisms, and not in the least tender of their +feelings, unless indeed they happened to be women. Knowing this, I +took his praise for certain studies and drawings I had brought with +me as a patent of ability; and though I was never extravagant in my +opinion of my own capacities for art, his approbation of some things +that I had done, and his assurance of a respectable attainment if +I followed the best methods of study, encouraged me, and I took it +without question that the methods were his, and it was a costly +experience which undeceived me. + +Of the people with whom I made acquaintance in London at this visit, +those who most interested me were Clough and Owen. Of the artists I +saw little, as they and myself had other things to do than to frequent +one another's studios; but by the Rossetti family I profited largely, +as I had been more or less in intimate relations with William since he +undertook the correspondence of "The Crayon" from England. Of Dante, +indeed, I saw little at that time, as he lived by himself; but with +William my relations were constant and cordial, and he was for many +years my most valued English friend. Through his extreme honesty and +liberality, and his extensive knowledge of and wide feeling for +art, there was great community of appreciation between us, and our +friendship lasted long beyond the direct interest I had in English art +matters. + +Of Christina I saw a good deal, for the hospitality of the Rossetti +family was informal and cordial. She was then in excellent health, +and, though she was never what would be, by the generality of tastes, +considered a beautiful woman, there was a noble serenity and dignity +of expression in her face which was, as is often said of women of the +higher type of character, "better than beauty," and in which one +saw the spiritual exaltation that, without the least trace of the +_devote_, dominated in her and made her, before all other women of +whom I know anything, the poetess of the divine life. The faith in +the divine flamed out in her with a mild radiance which had in it no +earthly warmth. She attracted me very strongly, but I should as soon +have thought of falling in love with the Madonna del Gran Duca as +with her. Being myself in the regions of dogmatic faith, I was in +a position to judge sympathetically her religion, and, though we +differed in tenets as far as two sincere believers in Christianity +could, I found in our discussions of the dogmas a broad and +affectionate charity in her towards all differences from the ideal of +credence she had formed for herself. I do not remember ever meeting +any one who held such exalted and unquestioning faith in the true +spiritual life as was hers. From my mother, who was in most respects +the most purely spiritual woman I have ever known, Christina differed +by this serenity, which in my mother was often disturbed by the doubts +that had their seeds in the old and superstitious Calvinism mingled +with the ground of her creed, and from which she never could liberate +herself. + +Christina believed in God, in heaven, in the eternal life, with an +unfaltering constancy and fullness which left no questionings except, +it might be, concerning her fulfillment of her religious obligations. +And while I thought her belief in certain dogmas, such as +transubstantiation, and in the fasting and ritual of her High Church +observances, to be too trivial for such a really exalted intellect, so +near the perception of the essential truth, she held them with such a +childlike and tranquil faith that I would sooner have worshiped +with her than have disturbed her tranquillity in it. She gave me a +demonstration of doctrinal charity which was to me a novelty, and +showed me that tenets which are to me, and those trained like me, idle +formalities were in reality the steps of a ladder by which she must +climb to the realization of the abstract good. Dogmas and observances +apart, I felt that her religion was so much loftier than my own that, +though it would have been impossible for me to profess acceptance of +it, it was equally impossible to argue with her about it,--that it was +so woven into the fibre of her existence that to move it in the least +would be impossible, or, if possible, only at the cost of mental and +spiritual dislocation. But, with all this, there was not in her a +trace of the assumption of a religious superiority which I have so +often found in the driest non-conformist, or the putting me apart with +the creatures that perish and are doomed which I have oftener found in +Catholic friends, with whom I have felt that they regarded me with a +sort of pitiful friendship, as one certain to be damned, and so only +worth a limited regard, lest love should be wasted. In after years I +saw her not infrequently, and when illness and grief had touched her, +and I saw always the same serenity and the same wide personal charity. + +Much of Christina's character one could see in her mother, a noble +and worshipful woman, in whom the domestic virtues mingled with the +spiritual in a way that set off the singleness of life of Christina +singularly, as if it were the same light in an earthen vessel. Mrs. +Rossetti was what one often hears spoken of as "a dear, good woman," +whose motherly life had absorbed her existence,--one of the witnesses +(martyrs) of the practical Christianity, who go, unseen and unknown, +to build the universal church of humanity, and whom we reverence +without naming them. Of Maria, the elder sister of Christina, I saw +less, but enough to know that the same ardent, beautiful religious +spirit burned in her, mute. In the years when I, later, saw most of +the family, Maria lived in a sisterhood. She had none of the genius or +the personal charm of her sister, but possessed the same elevation and +serene religious sentiment. + +Of Clough I saw a good deal, though his occupation in a government +office left him not much leisure; and it seemed to me that, of all +public officials I ever knew, he was the most misplaced at an office +desk. Of fragile health and with the temperament of a poet, gentle as +a woman can be, he often reminded me of Pegasus in harness. I had a +commission from Norton to paint a small full-length portrait of him, +and had several sittings; but it did not get on to suit me, and his +being compelled to go to Italy for his health before I had finished +with it, for well or ill, put an end to it. He left me in occupation +of his house while they were away. Of all the people of the poet's +temper I ever knew, Clough was the least inclined to talk of poetry, +and but for the sensitive mouth and the dreamy eye, with a reflective +way he had when talking, as if an undercurrent of thought were going +on while he spoke, one might have taken him for a well-educated man +of business, a poet-banker, or publisher. Perhaps it is in the memory +more than it was in the life, but as I recall him there seemed to +be in him an arcanum of thought, something beyond what came into +every-day existence,--a life beyond the actual life, into which he +withdrew, and out of which he came to speak. I should have liked to +live beside him and know him always, for in that phase of him was +infinite study. What I did see, however, left on me the impression of +a man who was able only to sketch out the life he would have lived,--a +life of far greater capabilities than anything accomplished could +indicate. + +In giving me the letter to Tom Hughes, Lowell had remarked that, +though he had never seen him, yet, as Hughes had edited his "Biglow +Papers," he thought he might assume an acquaintance sufficient to +warrant a letter of introduction. He was not mistaken, for Hughes did +the fullest honor to his letter; and as long as I was in London, and +indeed for many years after, our relations were of the most cordial, +and not long before his death he made me a visit at Rome. Very much of +the enjoyment of that winter in London was due to the hospitable and +companionable welcome of the author of "Tom Brown," and one of +the most enjoyable items was the introduction to the evenings at +Macmillan's, where the contributors to the magazine used to meet +on Thursday evenings, if I remember rightly, and where I saw the +Kingsleys,--Charles only once, but Henry often enough to contract with +him a pleasant friendship. Hughes was one of the largest and most +genial English natures I knew,--robust, all alive to all his human +obligations; and in those troublesome days when the American question +was coming to the crisis of our Civil War he was a consistent friend +of the North, when the dominant feeling in English society was hostile +to it, and this was a strong bond between us. + +Owen I saw frequently, and, though my scientific education was, and +is, superficial, he interested me greatly; for he had, like Agassiz, +the gift of making his knowledge accessible to those who only +understood the philosophy and not the facts of science, and I knew +enough of the former to profit by his knowledge. Then he was a warm +friend of Agassiz, and we used to talk of his theories and studies, of +which I knew more than of any other scientific subject. Like Agassiz, +he had at first resisted the theory of natural selection, but had, +unlike Agassiz, come to recognize the necessity of admitting the idea +of evolution in some form, like Asa Gray and Jeffries Wyman. How far +he finally went in recognizing the agency of natural selection as the +sufficient element in this I do not know, for at that time the battle +waged over that phase of the question; but that he did not accept the +solution proposed by Darwin as final I have reason to believe, from +the fact that, the last time I saw him, he assured me that he was +confident that if he could have seen Agassiz again before he died +he could have persuaded him that evolution was the solution of the +problem of creation, though knowing that Agassiz could never have +accepted the doctrine of natural selection in its bareness, absolutely +convinced as he was of the agency of Conscious Mind in creation. And +I had the further declaration of Owen himself in his expressed +conviction that the process of evolution was directed by the Divine +Intelligence. One statement he made struck me forcibly in this +connection, viz.: that he believed that the evolution of the horse +reached its culmination synchronously with the evolution of man, and +that the agreement was a part of the divine plan, while Darwin refuses +to admit a plan in creation. I have heard amongst evolutionists much +bitterness expressed concerning Owen for what they considered his +yielding to the pressure of public opinion, and adopting the theory of +evolution in contradiction to his real convictions; but I saw enough +of him to be certain that he really believed in evolution subject +to the dominance of the Divine Intelligence, nor did any of the +accusations I heard against him persuade me of the least insincerity +in his acceptance of the theory with that qualification,--a position, +I am convinced, held by many, even then, who did not openly support +it, not caring to go counter to the very general advocacy of natural +selection. + +The teaching of Owen completed my conversion to the theory of +evolution as a general law, not on grounds of physical science, the +demonstration by which is and must remain forever incomplete, but on +the philosophical ground, which I was more capable of measuring; and +with the acceptance of evolution disappeared, logically and, in the +subsequent years, completely, the influence of the old anthropomorphic +religion, with its terrible dogmas of the inheritance of Adam's +transgression and an angry God with His vicarious punishment of His +only son, with all the puzzles of miraculous intervention and the +perplexities of an infallible revealed word which continually +contradicts itself. The conception of Deity thus liberated from the +fetters of a materialistic faith rose to a dignity I had never before +comprehended, and brought me the new perception of a spiritual +religion and life, which was more consoling and vivifying by far than +the old belief. + +It is possible that the impressions of that time have been modified by +my subsequent intercourse with scientific men in England; but they are +that the very wide and rapid acceptance of the theory of evolution by +natural selection was largely due to the relief it offered from the +incubus of the old theological conception of the Deity as a personal +agency, always interfering with the course of events,--an infinite, +omnipotent, and omniscient stage manager,--a conception under which +the Christian world at large lay when Darwin announced his solution of +the problem. The religious world had been, up to that time, chained to +the anthropomorphic conception of Deity, and it was even less due to +the purely scientific faculty than to the philosophic that Darwin came +as a liberator from a depressing superstition,--the belief in the +terrible Hebrew God, ingrained in the conscience of every reverently +educated boy, and become in his growth inseparable from the maturer +beliefs. The evolution of the human mind itself had finally reached +the point at which this anthropomorphism became a thing impossible +to maintain reasonably any longer, and the magic word was spoken +by Darwin which broke the spell and set us free--who wished to be +free--from a mental servitude grown dangerously dear to our deepest +faculties, those of reverence and devotion. That evolution took hold +slowly with some who finally adopted it was owing to the fact that, +with them, that servitude had never been slavish, but always held less +sway than pure reason. And contemporaneously with this evolution of +the human mind had come the liberation from religious persecution, +either inquisitorial, legal, or social; and, perhaps for the first +time in the history of the religious dogma, a man might openly dispute +the fundamental ideas of a dominant religion and suffer no penalty for +his skepticism. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +SWITZERLAND + + +Though my "Bed of Ferns" was sent back from the Academy, one of my +large studies was exhibited at the British Society, and the result of +the year's work was, on the whole, satisfactory. Ruskin invited me +to go to Switzerland with him for the summer, finding in some of my +studies and drawings the possibility of getting from me some of the +Alpine work he wanted done. Unfortunately for both of us I could not +draw well in traces, and he did not quite well know how to drive, and +the summer ended in disappointment, and finally in disaster. I was +too undisciplined to work except when the mood suited, and our moods +rarely agreed: he wanted things which were to me of no interest, and +I could not interest myself vicariously enough to do them to his +satisfaction. He preceded me some weeks, and it was arranged that I +should come to meet him at Geneva early in June. Certainly I owe +to him my earliest and most delightful memories of the Alps and of +Switzerland. More princely hospitality than his no man ever received, +or more kindly companionship; but, as might have been expected, we +agreed neither in temperament nor in method, if indeed the mainly +self-taught way in which I worked and thought could be called method. + +He met me with a carriage at Culoz, to give and enjoy my first +impressions of the distant Alps, and for the ten days we stopped at +Geneva I stayed with him at the Hotel des Bergues. We climbed the +Saleve, and I saw what gave me more pleasure, I confess, than the +distant view of Mont Blanc, which he expected me to be enthusiastic +over,--the soldanella and gentians. The great accidents of +nature,--Niagara and the high Alps,--though they awe me, have always +left me cold; and all that summer I should have been more fruitfully +employed in some nook of English scenery, where nature went +undisturbed by catastrophes and cataclysms. + +Our first sketching excursion was to the Perte du Rhone, and, while +Ruskin was drawing some mountain forms beyond the river, he asked me +to draw some huts near by,--not picturesque cottages, thatched roofs +and lichen-stained walls, but shanties, such as the Irish laborers on +our railways build by the roadside, of deal boards on end, irregular +and careless without being picturesque, and too closely associated +with pigsty construction, in my mind, to be worth drawing. When Ruskin +came back I had made a careless and slipshod five minutes' sketch, not +worth the paper it was on, as to me were not the originals. Ruskin was +angry, and he had a right to be; for at least I should have found it +enough that he wanted it done, to make me do my best on it, but I +did not think of it in that light. We drove back towards Geneva in +silence,--he moody and I sullen,--and halfway there he broke out, +saying that the fact that he wanted the drawing done ought to have +been enough to make me do it. I replied that I could see no interest +in the subject, which to me only suggested fever and discomfort, and +wretched habitations for human beings. We relapsed into silence, and +for another mile nothing was said, when Ruskin broke out with, "You +were right, Stillman, about those cottages; your way of looking at +them was nobler than mine, and now, for the first time in my life, I +understand how anybody can live in America." + +We went to Bonneville to hunt out the point of view of a Turner +drawing which Ruskin liked, but, needless to say, though we ransacked +the neighborhood for views, we never found Turner's; and then we went +on to St. Martin, the little village opposite Sallanches, on the Arve. +For a subalpine landscape with Mont Blanc in the distance, this is the +most attractive bit of the Alpine country I know, with picturesque +detail and pleasant climbing up to 7000 feet. The view of Mont Blanc, +too, is certainly the finest from below which can be found. In fine +weather the mountain is hidden to the summit by clouds which clear +away at sunset, and from the little and picturesque bridge over the +Arve we saw the huge dome come out, and glow in the sunlight, when we +were all in shadow. It was to me new and startling, this huge rosy +orb, which at its first appearance suggests a huger moon rising +above the clouds, until, slowly, the clouds below melt away, and the +mountain stands disclosed to its base. If anything in the Alps can be +called truly picturesque, it is the view of the Aiguille de Varens +which overhangs the village of St. Martin, with the quaint and +lichenous church and cemetery in the foreground, and I made a large +drawing of it from the bridge, intending to return and work it up +after Ruskin had left me. The little inn of the village was the most +comfortable _auberge_ I was ever in, and its landlord the kindest +and most hospitable of hosts. Twenty years later I went back to the +locality, hoping to find something of the old time; but there was +only a deserted hostel, the weeds growing over the courtyard, and the +sealed and mouldy doors and windows witnessing ancient desertion. + +Hardly had I become interested in my drawing when Ruskin decided to +move on to Chamounix, where we might hope to get really to work. When +the first sublime and overpowering impression of Chamounix and the +majesty and gloom of its narrow valley wore off, it began to oppress +me, and long before we got away I felt as if I were in a huge grave. +The geological interest was great, and the sublimity overpowering. +But to my mind sublimity does not suffice for art; the beautiful must +predominate, and of the beautiful there is little in the valley. The +sublime rendered on a small scale is not satisfactory; the beautiful +loses nothing by reduction. + +I was disappointed in the High Alps,--they left me cold; and after +visiting the points of view Turner had taken drawings from, we went up +to the Montanvert, where Ruskin wished me to paint for him a wreath +of Alpine rose. We found the rose growing luxuriantly against a huge +granite boulder, a pretty natural composition, and I set to work on it +with great satisfaction, for botanical painting always interested +me. Ruskin sat and watched me work, and expressed his surprise at my +facility of execution of details and texture, saying that, of the +painters he knew, only Millais had so great facility of execution. +We were living at the little hotel of the Montanvert, and he was +impatient to get back to the better accommodation of the valley +hotels; so that when the roses and the rocks were done we went back, +the completion of the picture being left for later study. From Paris, +in the ensuing winter, I sent it to Ruskin, the distance being made of +the actual view down the valley of Chamounix; and he wrote me a bitter +condemnation of it, as a disappointment; for he said that he "had +expected to see the Alpine roses overhanging an awful chasm," etc. (an +expectation he should have given expression to earlier), and found it +very commonplace and uninteresting. So it was, and I burnt it after +the fashion of the "Bed of Ferns." As Rowse said of him later, "he +wanted me to hold the brush while he painted." But our ideas clashed +continually, and what he wanted was impossible,--to make me see with +his eyes; and so we came to great disappointment in the end. + +I was very much interested in his old guide, Coutet, with whom I had +many climbs. He liked to go with me, he said, because I was +very sure-footed and could go wherever he did. He was a famous +crystal-hunter, and many of the rarest specimens in the museum of +Geneva were of his finding. There was one locality of which only he +knew, where the rock was pitted with small turquoises like a plum +pudding, and I begged him to tell me where it was. There is a +superstition amongst the crystal-hunters that to tell where the +crystals are found brings bad luck, and he would never tell me in so +many words; but one day, after my importunity, I saw him leveling his +alpenstock on the ground in a very curious way, sighting along it and +correcting the direction, and when he had finished he said, as he +walked past me, "Look where it points," and went away. It was pointing +to a stratum halfway up to the summit of one of the aiguilles to the +west of the Mer de Glace, a chamois climb. He told me later that he +found the crystals in the couloir that brought them down from that +stratum. A dear old man was Coutet, and fully deserving the affection +and confidence of Ruskin. Connected with him was a story which Ruskin +told me there of a locality in the valley of Chamounix, of which the +guides had told him, haunted by a ghost which could be seen only by +children. It was a figure of a woman who raked the dead leaves, and +when she looked up at them the children said they saw only a skull in +place of a face. Ruskin sent to a neighboring valley for a child who +could know nothing of the legend, and went with him to the locality +which the ghost haunted. Arrived there he said to the boy, "What a +lonely place! There is nobody here but ourselves." "No," said the +child, "there is a woman there raking the leaves," pointing in a +certain direction. "Let us go nearer to her," said Ruskin; and they +walked that way, when the boy stopped, saying that he did not want to +go nearer, for the woman looked up, and he said that she had no eyes +in her head,--"only holes." + +The valley of Chamounix finally became to me the most gloomy and +depressing place I was ever in. We made excursions and a few sketches; +but I had little sympathy with it, though I tried to do what Ruskin +wanted, and to get a faithful study of some characteristic subject in +the valley. Every fine day we climbed some secondary peak, five or six +thousand feet, and in the evenings we discussed art or played chess, +mainly in rehearsing problems, until midnight. Sundays no work was +done, but we used to climb some easy hilltop; and there he spent the +afternoon in writing a sermon for a girls' school in which he was much +interested, but not a hue of drawing would he do. To me, brought up in +the severity of Sabbatarianism, the sanctity of the first day of the +week had always been a theological fiction, and the result of the +contact with the larger world of thinkers and the widening of my range +of thought by the study of philosophy had also made me see that the +observances of "new moons and fast-days" had nothing to do with true +religion, and that the Eden repose of the Creator was too large +a matter to be fenced into a day of the week. This slavery to a +formality in which Ruskin was held by his terrible conscience provoked +me, therefore, to the discussion of the subject. + +I showed him that there was no authority for the transference of the +Christian weekly rest from the seventh to the first day of the week, +and we went over the texts together, in which study my Sabbatarian +education gave me an advantage in argument; for he had never given the +matter a thought. Of course he took refuge in the celebration of the +weekly return of the day of Christ's resurrection; but I showed him +that the text does not support the claim that Christ rose on the first +day of the week, and that the early fathers, who arranged that portion +of the ritual, did not understand the tradition of the resurrection. +"Three days and three nights," according to the gospel, Christ was to +lie in the tomb,--not parts of three times twenty-four hours. But the +women went to the tomb "in the end of the Sabbath, as it began to dawn +toward the first day of the week," and they found that he had already +risen and was gone. Now, as by the Jewish ritual the day began at +sunset, the first day of the week began with the going down of the sun +on Saturday, and, therefore, as Christ had already risen, he must have +risen on the seventh day. And the reason of this twilight visit was in +the prohibition to touch a dead body on the Sabbath, and the zeal of +the disciples sent them to the sepulchre at the earliest possible +moment. And I showed him how careless or ignorant of the record the +redisposition of the sacred time had been, in the fact of the total +disregard of the words of Christ, that he should lie in the earth +three days and three nights; for they assumed him to have been +crucified on Friday, while he must have lain buried Thursday, Friday, +and Saturday, and was therefore buried on Wednesday, just before +sunset. And this is confirmed by the text which says that the +disciples hastened to bury Christ on the day of crucifixion, because +the next day was the day of preparation for one of the high Sabbaths, +which the early church, which instituted the observance of the first +day, confounded with the weekly Sabbath, not knowing that a high +Sabbath could not fall on the weekly Sabbath. + +To this demonstration Ruskin, always deferent to the literal +interpretation of the gospel, could not make a defense; the creed had +so bound him to the letter that the least enlargement of the stricture +broke it, and he rejected the whole tradition,--not only the Sunday +Sabbath, but the authority of the ecclesiastical interpretation of the +texts. He said, "If they have deceived me in this, they have probably +deceived me in all," and he came to the conclusion of rejecting all. +This I had not conceived as a possible consequence of the criticism of +his creed, and it gave me great pain; for I was not a skeptic, as he, +I have since learned, for a time became. It was useless to argue +with him for the spirit of the gospel; he had always held to its +infallibility and the exactitude of doctrine, and his indignation was +too strong to be pacified. He returned somewhat, I have heard, to his +old beliefs in later years, as old men will to the beliefs of their +youth, and his Christianity was too sincere and profound for a matter +of mistaken credence in mere formalities ever to affect its substance, +and the years which followed showed that in no essential trait had the +religious foundations of his character been moved. For myself, I was +still a sincere believer in the substantial accuracy of the body of +Christian doctrine, and the revolt of Ruskin from it gave me great +pain. My own entire liberation from the burdens of futile beliefs had +yet to come, and at that time he went further than I could go with +him. But we never discussed theological matters any more. + +I finally found a subject which interested me in a view of the foot of +the Mer de Glace from the opposite side of the river, looking up the +glacier, with the bridge under the Brevent, and a cottage in the +foreground, and set to work on it energetically. Ruskin used to sit +behind me and comment on my work. My methods of painting were my own, +for I had never painted under any one except the few months with +Church, whose method had taught me nothing; and I had a way of +painting scud clouds, such as always hang around the Alpine peaks, by +brushing the sky in thinly with the sky-blue, and then working into +that, with the brush, the melting clouds, producing the grays I wanted +on the canvas. It imitated the effect of nature logically, as the +pigment imitated the mingling of the vapor with the blue sky; but +Ruskin said this was incorrect, and that the colors must be laid like +mosaic, side by side, in the true tint. Another discouragement! I +used to lay in the whole subject, beginning with the sky, rapidly +and broadly, and, when it was dry, returning to the foreground and +finishing towards the distance; and Buskin was delighted with the +foreground painting, insisting on my doing nothing further to it. In +the distance was the Montanvert and the Aiguille du Dru; but where the +lines of the glacier and the slopes of the mountain at the right met, +five nearly straight lines converged at a point far from the centre, +and I did not see how to get rid of them without violating the +topography. I pointed it out to Ruskin, and he immediately exclaimed: +"Oh, nothing can he done with a subject like that, with five lines +radiating from an unimportant point! I will not stay here to see you +finish that study." And the next day we packed up and left for Geneva. + +At Lausanne I made some careful architectural drawings, which he +praised,--some pencil sketches on the lake; and then we drove across +country to Freiburg, and finally to Neuchatel, where I found a +magnificent subject in the view from the hill behind the city, looking +over the lake towards the Alps, with Mont Blanc and the Bernese Alps +in the extreme distance. In the near distance rise the castle and +its old church, which Ruskin drew for me in pencil with exquisite +refinement of detail, for in this kind of drawing he was most +admirable. As we should stay only a few days, I could not paint +anything, and spent all my time, working nine hours a day, hard, on +the one subject in pencil. We still spent our evenings till late in +discussions and arguments, with a little chess, rarely going to bed +before midnight; and the steady strain, with my anxiety to lose none +of my time and opportunities, finally told on my eyes. One day, while +working hard on the view of Neuchatel, I felt something snap behind +my eyes, and in a few minutes I could no longer see my drawing; +the slightest attempt to fix my vision on anything caused such +indistinctness that I could see neither my work nor the landscape, and +I was obliged to suspend work altogether. In a few days we went to +Basle, and, after a rest, my vision came back partially, and we went +to Laufenburg, where Turner had found the subject for one of his +Liber Studiorum engravings. Here the subjects were entirely after my +feeling, and, as my eyes had ceased to trouble me, I set to work on a +large drawing of the town and fall from below. In the midst of it the +snapping behind my eyes came back, worse than ever, and that time not +to leave me for a long time. It was followed by an incessant headache, +which made life a burden, with obstinate indigestion. Here Ruskin +suddenly found that he must go back to England, and I returned with +him as far as Geneva, and thence went to St. Martin, where I spent the +rest of the autumn, as helpless for all work as a blind man. + +My summer with Ruskin, to which I had looked for so much profit to my +art, had ended in a catastrophe of which I did not then even measure +the extent. It was nearly two years before I recovered from the attack +at Neuchatel enough to work regularly, and these circumstances threw +me still further from my chosen career. More exciting and absorbing +occupation called me, and I obeyed, whether for better or worse it now +matters not. When I was free to return with undivided attention to my +painting my enthusiasm had cooled, and human interests claimed and +kept me. Ruskin had dragged me from my old methods, and given me none +to replace them. I lost my faith in myself, and in him as a guide to +art, and we separated definitely, years later, on a personal question +in which he utterly misunderstood me; but, apart from questions of +art, he always remains to me one of the largest and noblest of all the +men I have known, liberal and generous beyond limit, with a fineness +of sympathy in certain directions and delicacy of organization quite +womanly. Nothing could shake my admiration for his moral character or +abate my reverence for him as a humanist. That art should have been +anything more than a side interest with him, and that he should +have thrown the whole energy of his most energetic nature into the +reforming of it, was a misfortune to him and to the world, but +especially to me. + +At St. Martin I waited the return of my vision. I climbed, and tried +chamois-hunting with no success so far as game was concerned, though I +saw the beautiful creatures in their homes, and now rejoice that I did +not kill any, though I fear I wounded one mortally, where we could not +retrieve him. One of my excursions was to the summit of the Aiguille +de Varens, by a path, in one place cut in the face of a precipice, +only wide enough for one's feet, with sheer cliff above and below, and +nothing to hold by. I have a good head, but to follow my guide on that +path was something which only _mauvaise honte_ brought me to. I was +ashamed to hesitate where he walked along so cheerily. We arranged to +spend the night at a chalet where a milkmaid with the figure of the +Venus of Milo tended a remnant of the herd, most of which had already +descended to the valleys below. As the sun was setting I walked out to +the brow of the aiguille, which from below seemed a point, but was in +reality only the perpendicular face of a mass of mountain which in the +other direction sloped away towards Switzerland for miles. The view of +Mont Blanc, directly opposite, then bare of clouds from the base to +the summit, with the red sunset light falling full on the great fields +of snow, of which I had never realized the extent from any other +point, was by far the most imposing view of the great mountain I have +ever found. I stood at an elevation of about 7000 feet, halfway to +the summit of Mont Blanc, with the whole broad expanse of glacier and +snowfield glowing in the rosy twilight; and, while I watched the +sun set, at my feet lay the valley of the Arve, with the town of +Sallanches and its attendant villages in the blue distance of +gathering night, thousands of feet below me. As I looked, enchanted, +the chimes of the convent below rang out a Gregorian air, which came +up to my heights like a solemn monition from the world of dreams, for +nothing could be distinguished of its source. We started a chamois, +and saw him race across the broad field of snow like the wind, while +I could only follow, laboring knee-deep in the snow, like a tortoise +after a hare. We slept that night buried in the hay. I am glad to +say that the hunt in the morning was without other result than a +delightful walk, for my guide was a better climber than huntsman. + +A few days later, I made, with another guide, an excursion to the +Col des Fours, on the other side of the valley. The guide was an old +professional hunter, and knew the habits of the chamois well. We +climbed up leisurely in the afternoon, and slept in the hay of a +deserted chalet; for from there the cattle had already been all driven +down. While the guide prepared the supper, I walked out to the edge of +the cliffs to get the view. The landscape had become a sea of mist,--a +river, rather; for the whole valley was filled with a moving, billowy +flood of fog flowing from Mont Blanc, and enveloping mountain and +valley alike in a veil of changing vapor, melting, forming, and +flowing beneath my feet, hiding every object in the landscape below +the cliffs I stood on. It made me dizzy, for I seemed to be in the +clouds. And while I waited there came a transfiguration of the +scene,--the mist began to grow rosy, and deeper and deeper, till it +was almost like a sea of blood. No source of light was visible from +my point of view, but, of course, the phenomenon, though seemingly +mysterious, was evident. The sun, in setting, illuminated the fields +of snow at the summit of the mountain beyond, which reverberated its +flaming light into the vapor below, penetrating it down to my feet, +but the mountain itself was, from my elevation, invisible. It passed +like all glories, and quicker than most. + +The next morning we went to take our posts for a chamois drive. A +friend of the guide, whom he had picked up to profit by my coming, +took one side of the valley, and I the other, while a boy with an +umbrella went down the valley to drive the chamois up to us. Having +posted me, the stupid guide crossed the line of the drive between me +and the meadow where the chamois would come to feed, and took his +post, hiding nearer the peaks where they had passed the night. Soon +after sunrise they made their appearance on a field of snow which +sloped down into the Val,--nine, young and old. I shall never see +anything prettier than the play of those young chamois on the snow. +They butted and chased each other over the snow, frolicked like +kittens, standing on their hind legs and pushing each other, until, +probably, they grew hungry, and then came down to the grass to feed. +This was the moment for the driver to come in, and he came up the +valley waving his arms and umbrella and shouting. The chamois came in +my direction till they crossed the track of the old hunter, scenting +which they halted, sniffed the air, and then broke in panic, the +majority running back past the driver and within a few yards of him, +so that if he had had a gun he could easily have killed one, and went +down the valley out of sight; three came up the valley, taking the +flank of the almost perpendicular rocks, within shot of me, but at +full gallop, and I fired at the middle one of the group. They passed +behind a mass of rock as I fired, and two came out on the other side. +If I hit one I could not know, for the place was inaccessible, but I +hope that I missed. I have often thought of the possibility that I +might have hit the poor beast, and sent him mortally wounded amongst +the rocks to die, and I never recur to the incident without pain. It +becomes incomprehensible to me, as my own life wanes, how I could ever +have found pleasure in taking the lives of other creatures filling +their stations in the world better than I ever did. The late educated +soul pays the penalty of earlier ignorance, but there is no atonement +to the victims. + +I stayed at St. Martin while the plebiscite and annexation to France +took place. It was a hollow affair, the voting being a mockery, but +the Sardinian government had never made itself seriously felt in +Savoy, for either good or ill; the people were a quiet and law-abiding +race, and while I was in the country I never heard of a crime or a +prosecution. The regiments of Savoyard troops went into the French +army with ill will, and there was a bloody fight between them and the +French soldiers at Lyons when the former went into the barracks there. + +I was at St. Martin when the Emperor and Empress made their tour +through the new possession. The state carriages had to be left at +Sallanches when the sovereigns went up to the great ball offered them +at Chamounix, and, when they returned, the little mountain carriages +which brought them down halted under the windows of the _auberge_ of +St. Martin, in which I lived, to wait for the state carriages to come +across the river. They had to wait about half an hour, and as they +walked up and down in the road under my window, beside which stood +my loaded rifle, I thought how easily I could change the course of +European politics, for I could have hit any button on the Emperor's +clothes, and I hated him enough to have killed him cheerfully, as +an enemy of mankind; but regicide has always seemed to me a great +mistake, as it would have been in that case, for it would only have +placed the young Prince Imperial on the throne, under the regency of +the Empress. I was then a radical republican, with all the sympathies +of a Parisian Red, for I had not learned that it is less the form of +the government than the character of the governed which makes the +difference between governments. I did not spare the life of the +Emperor from any apprehension of consequences to me, for I had none. +I knew the paths up the mountain at the back of the hotel, and before +the confusion should have been overcome, and a pursuit organized, I +could have been beyond danger, on my way to the Swiss frontier, for +the pine woods came to the back door of the hotel; and beyond that, I +never had the habit of thinking of the consequences of what I proposed +to do. When I returned to Paris, after the autumn had passed, I told +the story to an artist friend, an ultraradical, how I stood at my +window with a loaded rifle by my side, and the Emperor twenty feet +below, and he shouted with fury, "And you didn't kill him?" Time and +fate have punished him more fitly than I should have done, and wise +men leave these things to time and fate. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +PARIS AGAIN THE CIVIL WAR IN AMERICA + + +I remained in Paris all that winter, and took a studio with an +American friend,--Mr. Yewell,--but I could do no work; the headache +never left me, and, though I could draw a little, my vision failed +when it was strained, and I seemed to have lost my color sense. I was +desperate, and, when Garibaldi set out on the Marsala expedition, I +was just on the point of sailing to join him when I received a letter +from the father of my fiancee, telling me that her perplexities and +distress of mind over our marriage had so increased that they feared +for her reason if she were not set at rest. I took the next steamer, +and ended the vacillation by insisting on being married at once. +Nothing but a morbid self-depreciation had prevented her from coming +to a decision in the matter long before, and there was no other +solution than to assume command and impose my will. We were married +two days after my landing, and returned to Paris a few days after. +When the spring opened we went down into Normandy, and there, +returning to the study of nature and living in quiet and freedom from +anxiety, I slowly and partially recovered my vision, and began to +regain in a measure the power of drawing. The landscape of the quiet +French country suited me perfectly, and I made two or three good +studies, but without getting into a really efficient condition for +painting, which I only did a year or two later at Rome. + +Our winter in Paris had been greatly brightened by the acquaintance of +the Brownings, the father and sister of the poet. We lived in the same +section of Paris, near the Hotel des Invalides, and much of our time +was passed with them. "Old Mr. Browning" we have always called him, +though the qualification of "old," by which we distinguished him from +his son Robert, seemed a misnomer, for he had the perpetual juvenility +of a blessed child. If to live in the world as if not of it indicates +a saintly nature, then Robert Browning the elder was a saint: a +serene, untroubled soul, conscious of no moral or theological problem +to disturb his serenity, and as gentle as a gentle woman,--a man in +whom, it seemed to me, no moral conflict could ever have arisen to +cloud his frank acceptance of life as he found it come to him. He had, +many years before we knew him, inherited an estate in Jamaica, but on +learning that to work it to profit he must become a slave owner he +renounced the heritage. And, knowing him as we knew him, it is easy to +see that he would renounce it cheerfully and without any hesitation. +A man of a rougher and more energetic type might have tried the +experiment, or questioned the judgment, at least have regretted his +own integrity, but Browning could have done neither. The way was +clear, and the decision must have been as quick as that of a child +to reject a thing it abhorred. His unworldliness had not a flaw. So +beautiful a life can never have become distinguished in the struggles +and antagonisms which make the career of the man of the world, or even +the man of letters, as letters are now written; for he was a man, and +the only one I ever knew, of whom one would say that he applied in the +divine sense the maxim of Christ, "Resist not evil,"--he simply, and +by the necessity of his own nature, ignored it. + +He had a curious facility in drawing heads of quaint and always varied +character, which character he could not foresee when he began the +drawing. They were always in profile, and he began at one extremity +and ran his pencil round to the other, always bringing out an +individuality, but without any intention as to what that should be; +and he named it, when it was done, according to the type it offered, +generally in character, with a trace of caricature, and, for the most +part, subjects from the courts of law,--a judge or a puzzled juror, a +disappointed or a triumphant client, etc., etc. He would draw a dozen +or twenty in an evening, all different and all unforeseen, as much to +him as to us, and he was as much amused as we were when it turned out +more than usually funny. His chief amusement was hunting through the +bookstalls along the quays, and I have, amongst my old books, an early +life of Raphael, which he gave me, with his name on the fly leaf. + +Of Miss Browning, who still lives, I will not speak; but what she told +me of the poet's mother may, I think, be told without indiscretion. +She had the extraordinary power over animals of which we hear +sometimes, but of which I have never known a case so perfect as hers. +She would lure the butterflies in the garden to her, and the domestic +animals obeyed her as if they reasoned. Robert had been given a +pure-blooded bulldog of a rare breed, which tolerated no interference +from any person except him or his mother, and which would allow no +familiarity with her on the part of strangers; so that when a neighbor +came in he was not permitted to shake hands with her, for the dog at +once showed his teeth. Not even her husband was allowed to take the +slightest liberty with her in the dog's presence, and when Robert was +more familiar with her than the dog thought proper he showed his teeth +to him. They one day put him to a severe test, Robert putting his arm +around his mother's neck as they sat side by side at the table. The +dog went round behind them, and, putting his feet upon the chair, +lifted Robert's arm off her shoulder with his nose, giving an +intimation that he would not permit any liberty of that kind even from +him. They had a favorite cat, to which the dog had the usual antipathy +of dogs, and one day he chased her under a cupboard, and, unable to +reach her, kept her there besieged and unable to escape, till Mrs. +Browning intervened and gave the dog a lecture, in which she told him +of their attachment for the cat, and charged him never to molest her +more. If the creature had understood speech he could not have obeyed +better; for from that time he was never known to molest the cat, and +she, taking her revenge for past tyranny, bore herself most insolently +with him, and when she scratched him over the head he only whimpered +and turned away, as if to avoid temptation. An injury to one of his +feet made an operation necessary, and the family surgeon was called +in to perform it, but found him so savage that he could not touch the +foot or approach him. Mrs. Browning came and talked to him in her +way, and the dog submitted at once, without a whimper, to the painful +operation. She had been long dead when I knew the family. + +We had planned to go together--the elder Browning, Robert and Mrs. +Browning, Miss Browning, my wife, and myself--to pass the summer at +Fontainebleau, and we were awaiting the arrival of Robert and his wife +from Florence when the news came of Mrs. Browning's illness, followed +not much later by that of her death. The intrusion even of a friend +was too much for this catastrophe, and we saw little more of the +Brownings until years after, when other and many changes of fortune +had come over us, and we met again in Italy. + +Out of a quiet and happy life in Normandy I was aroused by the +complications of our Civil War. An intimate friend living in Paris, +the late Colonel W.B. Greene, a graduate of West Point, had applied +for the command of a regiment of Massachusetts troops, and offered me +a position on his staff if he got it and I would come. We agreed to go +together, but his impatience carried him away, and he sailed without +giving me notice. I followed by the next steamer, and, leaving my wife +with my parents, I went on to Washington and to Greene's headquarters. +I was too late for Greene, and I could not pass the medical +examination, which was then very rigid, for all the North was +volunteering. "Go home," said Greene; "we have already buried all the +men like you. We have not seen the enemy yet, and we have buried six +per cent. of the regiment. It is no place for you." But I had no +choice; there were 800,000 men enlisted, and further enlistments were +countermanded. I tried to get some position with Burnside,--who was +fitting out an expedition to North Carolina,--even as cook; for I +could not pass for the rank and file, and Burnside, as a friend of my +friends in Rhode Island, might, I thought, help me. He replied that +he had already nine applications for every post at his disposal. As a +last resource, I went up into the Adirondacks to raise a company of +sharpshooters. My backwoodsmen were all ready to go, but they wanted +special rifles and special organization, for they meant to go to +"shoot secesh," not to be regular infantry. Their ambition was not +reconcilable with the plans of the military authorities, so that +the company was never raised, and I then turned to my plan for the +consulate. + +I suppose that there are few now living who knew by personal +investigation and remember clearly the condition of the country at +that epoch. We had suffered the defeat of Bull Run, and the country at +large was in a state of flaming patriotism; but sober people had many +doubts whether the government was strong enough to carry through the +plans of the President, and he also had, I was told by some one who +knew him, been very uncertain whether the population at large would +respond, even when he made the first call for 75,000 volunteers. +Persons in positions of great influence were of the opinion that +the North had no right to coerce the South. General Scott, the +commander-in-chief, urged separation peacefully, and Horace Greeley, +the most influential member of the press in the country, opposed +coercion, while the mass of the Democratic party were either on the +fence or openly in favor of the South, and this opposition of +the Democrats was probably what gave Lincoln the most serious +consideration. Some of the most earnest and patriotic people I knew +had grave doubts if the Northern people had any conception of the work +they had undertaken, and if they would be constant when they came to +realize it. + +While I was in Washington I saw Lincoln and some of those around him, +and my opinion is that, but for his faith in the Supreme Providence +and in the destiny of our Republic, his courage, and with it the whole +scheme of defense, would have broken down. Future generations will not +understand the difficulties before him,--perhaps he himself did not. +The administration of Buchanan had prepared for the secession, and +Buchanan as minister to England had already established the opinion +of the governing class in that country in the certainty of impending +separation,--a fact which should be remembered when we judge the +attitude of England; the fleet had been dispersed to the ends of the +earth, and the officers of the army were mainly Southerners. The +support of New York and Massachusetts was of the gravest importance. +The former was largely under the influence of Seward, and he was +inclined by nature to conciliation; in the latter State, General +Butler, a Democrat, and of seriously questioned loyalty, had an +influence which might easily become the dominant one and carry the +State over to the Democratic opposition, which was in the country at +large distinctly opposed to coercion. The government and the ruling +class in England were clearly hostile to the North, and the position +on that side was menacing. + +Had the South then been content with separation on the lines of "Mason +and Dixon's line," I am convinced that it would have taken place +without a struggle, if the position could have been defined without +bloodshed. But this was what the most sagacious of the Southern +leaders did not desire. It became evident that the majority in the +South did not desire separation, and the leaders knew that a peaceful +separation would be followed by reconstruction on something like the +old lines, for the South could not stand alone industrially; so that +they had not concealed their determination to invade the Middle and +Western States, and carry them forcibly over to the new Confederacy, +"leaving out New England." It was generally known that Pennsylvania +and New Jersey were Democratic and lukewarm for the old Union, and +that Ohio and the West would not resist if there were a successful +beginning of a movement and a military invasion. So far as the +sentiments of the politicians were concerned, the South had a very +correct idea of the probabilities of the situation; what they were +utterly ignorant of was the spirit of the masses in the North, which +they thought to coerce easily. There they were mistaken, and there +Lincoln saw his strength, and that saved the country; for, with the +firing on Fort Sumter and the open insult to the flag, the Northern +masses took fire, and the conflagration burned out the roots of +sympathy for the South. Butler was given a command in the field; +others of the same class were given commands, and the dangerous +demagogue class was enlisted for the war. + +When I landed, the entire able-bodied population of the North was +seeking to enlist, and the troops were pouring by thousands into +Washington, and only the most uncertain and prudent of the Northern +leaders doubted of victory, though no one dreamed what it would cost. +And, looking at the corruption of American politics to-day, the +venality and the indifference to the true interests of the nation of +most of the men who control the political life at its most important +centres, and the general tendency of our politics, it needs a serene +and far-reaching faith in human progress to enable a citizen of the +United States, who believes in a political ideal, to regard the +sacrifices then made as having been profitable. I see things +dispassionately and as an old man removed from the chance of personal +gains or losses, and, but for a faith in human progress being the +result of an eternal and inevitable law, I should say that the blood +of that war had been wasted. It is a painful conviction to die +with,--but I expect to die with it,--that generations and unparalleled +disasters must pass before my country reaches the goal its founders +believed to be its destiny. + +Having exhausted every appliance to open a way into the army, I made +my appeal to Dr. Nott, and received by return of the Washington post +my commission as consul at Rome, as I have told in a previous chapter. +I went on to Cambridge to get information and advice, and, at +Lowell's, met Howells for the first time. We could, each of us, offer +condolence for the other's disappointment; for Howells had asked for +Dresden and was appointed to Venice, while I had asked for Venice, +intending to write the history of Venetian art. But Rome had always +been given to an artist; and, though there was no salary, but fees +only, it seemed to have been a much-sought-for position, and I +accepted. + +Leaving my wife at home, for her confinement, I sailed for England, +_en route_ for Italy, just when the capture of Mason and Slidell had +thrown the country into a new agitation; for it was foreseen that +England would not submit to this disrespect to her flag, though the +step was in strict accordance with her own precedents. Seward and +the more prudent part of the public were in favor of releasing the +prisoners at once, and before any demand could be made by the English +government; but it was said that Lincoln and the West were in favor of +holding them, and letting England do her worst. It is possible that he +thought that a foreign enemy would decide all the wavering minds, and +possibly open the way to a pacification between the North and South. +I left New York before we had heard of the reception of the news +in England, and found the agitation there intense. The consul at +Liverpool told me that he could not go into the Exchange for the +insults offered him there, and American merchants were insulted on the +street. In London, at the restaurants where I dined, the conversation +turned altogether on the incident, and the language was most violent. + +As I was in the service of the government I waited on Mr. Adams, the +minister, and remained in London until the question was settled, in +daily communication with him. He thought the danger of war still +great, as Lincoln had not decided to accept the ultimatum, and the +English ministry was, in Adams's opinion, desirous of having a _casus +belli_, or at least a justification for recognizing the Southern +Confederacy. That war had not already become inevitable he considered +due entirely to the attitude of the Queen, who resisted any measure +calculated to precipitate a hostile solution, and had refused her +assent to a dispatch demanding the release of the envoys, and worded +in such peremptory terms that Lincoln could not have hesitated to +repel it at any cost,--an outcome which, in the opinion of Mr. Adams, +was what Palmerston, Gladstone, and Lord John Russell wanted. But, on +the insistence of the Queen, the offensive passage was struck out, and +peace was preserved, though at that moment the reply of our government +had not been received, and Adams did not consider that, even in +its modified form, the demand of the English ministry might not be +rejected. As the crisis was still undecided, I waited until the +solution was definite. The favorable reply came by the next steamer. +To the peace-loving heart of the Queen mainly, and next to the tact +and diplomatic ability of Mr. Adams, the world owes that the war most +disastrous possible for the civilization of the west was avoided. Put +at rest with regard to this danger, I continued my journey and entered +upon my functions as representative of my government at Rome. + +I have since heard various versions of this crisis and its solution, +but the above is, I believe, substantially the truth. I have heard +that the English dispatch was referred to the French Minister +of Foreign Affairs, and that he advised against it; but this is +impossible. The Emperor of France was more determined even than +Palmerston to destroy the United States, if possible, as his Mexican +enterprise showed, and we knew from other sources that he was pressing +the English government to recognize the belligerency of the South. +Day by day I heard from Mr. Adams of the position, and he said to +me emphatically that he did not consider the declaration of war +impossible until he received the reply of Lincoln to the English +ultimatum; and it is impossible that such a transaction as that of +the consultation with the French government should have taken place +without Adams knowing of it, for his information from the surroundings +of the Queen was minute and incessant. He said to me, without the +slightest qualification, that the preservation of peace was due solely +to the insistence of the Queen, strengthened by the advice of Prince +Albert, on the demand for the release of the envoys being made in +terms which should not offend the _amour propre_ of the North. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +MY ROMAN CONSULATE + + +The convenient road from London to Rome, when I went there as consul, +was via Paris to Marseilles, and thence by sea to Civita Vecchia. +It was December when I left London, and the journey from Paris to +Marseilles, in a third-class carriage, took twenty-six hours. The Mont +Cenis tunnel had not been opened yet, and the voyage by diligence was +tedious, costly, and at that season uncomfortable on account of the +cold. I arrived at Rome shortly before Christmas, when the city was +astir with the preparations for the great ceremonies which were then +the principal attraction for foreigners there, but the number of +visitors was very small compared with that which now gathers to their +diminished religious and spectacular interest. The foreign quarter was +limited to that immediately about the Piazza di Spagna, and only the +artist folk lived in the remoter quarters, where they found cheap and +commodious apartments in the palaces of fallen nobility, glad to let +their upper stories; and there were few or no new houses. + +Rome was given up to art and religion; it was still decaying, +picturesque, pathetic, and majestic. Where now we find the prosperous +and hideous new quarters,--the Via Nazionale, and the expanse of +structures to the east of it, the region between the Coliseum and the +Lateran, the 20 Settembre, Via Veneto, and the vicinity where were the +Ludovisi gardens, and now are long streets of ugly houses, with the +entirely new quarter of the Prati, were then expanses of vineyards and +gardens, and we used to cross the Tiber by a ferry to visit the farm +of Cincinnatus, now buried under twenty feet of rubbish, on which are +built the palaces of the Prati, huge, ugly barracks; and even the +Campagna has lost much of its desolate beauty. Down the Tiber, where +the ghastly embankment walls in the yellow stream, there was then a +picturesque riverbank, with a delightful foreground in every rood of +it. Where now is the Piazza delle Terme and the great railway station, +we used to go to get studies of the ruins of the baths of Diocletian, +one of the most picturesque objects of the region. + +Political or social life there was none, and the foreign element, +whether the regular or the transitory, was divided by its +nationalities, and cut off absolutely from the Roman. Only the English +and American mingled to any extent, the foreign Catholics finding +their way, with such Protestants as gave hope of conversion, into the +clerical world, which, from all that I could see of it, offered little +attraction to the fugitive visitors. Wide-eyed, hurried Americans +came, saw, and bought a picture, and went away again; English +sightseers came for Christmas or Easter, and bought a few old masters; +but the mass of those who stayed for long were invalids, who settled +down and tried to keep as much in the sun as possible, for the +universal belief then was that to live out of the sunshine was to +contract mortal malaria. It was the most unreal world I have ever +lived in, whether we use the word unreal in the sense of shadowy or +poetical. + +Rome was in fact at that time a spectacle never before or since +seen in the world. Ruled by an absolute government, theocratic and +therefore considering its authority beyond all human attack, but +besieged on all sides by an invading liberalism, which had already +captured all its outposts and undermined its position at the centre, +it, still defiant, refused to make a single concession to the spirit +of the epoch, and bade defiance to diplomacy and insurrection alike. +All its former allies from north and south were in refuge within the +walls of the city, the King of Naples and all his court offering the +daily spectacle of a parade of their downfall as they drove through +the streets. Rome itself was a huge cloister in which the only +animation was in the processions of priests and students of the +theological seminaries, or the more melancholy funerals in which the +hooded and gowned friars added gloom to the mystery of our common +lot,--no industry except those of jewelry and art and that of +ecclesiastical apparatus. The principal revenues were the charity of +the outside world,--St. Peter's pence. Government was not by law, +but by the arbitrary decisions of the most incompetent of officials, +enforced by the bayonets of a foreign army, the soldiers of which +despised the population, and lived in the most complete separation +from it. The Pope himself had little affection for his French +protectorate, which urged, and sometimes effected, certain +improvements which he regarded as innovations and invasions. + +I had, soon after my arrival, a case before the lower tribunal which +showed how the administration of justice was regarded. Having a +relapse into the malady that had followed my breakdown in Switzerland, +which was exaggerated by the heat of Rome, I was ordered by my +physician to Ariccia to recruit, and I left my apartment, which was +also the consulate, and took quarters at the little Ariccian inn which +was the resort of the artists at that date. + +As I could not absent myself from the office longer than ten days at +a time without permission of the government at Washington, I had to +return _pro forma_ at that term, when, to my surprise, I found my +apartment in possession of a stranger. I intimated his dislodging, to +which he replied that he had taken the rooms and paid his rent and +would not go. At that time there was a temporary occupation--merely +nominal, however--of the legation by ex-Governor Randall of Wisconsin. +The minister had taken an apartment where he could mount the arms of +the Republic, and had then gone off on his European tour, leaving me +in occupation of the post as charge d'affaires and in care of his +rooms. As I had thus another place to sleep in, I evacuated the +consular quarters not unwillingly, removing all my effects except a +set of silver spoons which my mother had given me on my leaving home, +and which were heirlooms. The spoons were being cleaned, the landlady +said, and would be ready the next day. I called for them again, and +was again deferred, when I went at once to the tribunal and made a +claim for my spoons. On statement of the case, the judge gave an order +for the immediate and unconditional delivery of the plate; but when I +went to get them at the tribunal, he said it was lucky for me that I +came when I did, as the landlady had come in the afternoon and applied +for an order against me to pay another month's rent (always paid in +advance), and that if she had come first he should have been obliged +to give it to her. I explained that I had been driven out of the +apartment by another occupant; but that, he said, made no difference, +the first applicant for justice would alone have been heard. + +Not long after, a similar case called for my more or less official +recognition. My colleague the consul at Florence had come for a visit +to Rome, and had taken a cab to make the rounds of the sights, and, +making his visit to the church of Ara Coeli, he of course left the cab +at the foot of the stairs. He found little which interested him in the +church, and, returning sooner than the cabman expected, he found no +cab there. In the course of the day he went to the police court and +asked for a punishment for the cabman for having deserted him on +his round. The cabman was summoned and fined accordingly; but the +magistrate remarked to my friend when he came to give evidence that +it was fortunate for him that he complained first, for the cabman had +come later in the day and asked for his fare for the night which he +had passed at the foot of the stairs waiting for the return of the +_forestiero_; and he added that if the cabman had come first, my +friend would have been obliged to pay the claim. It was simple and +expeditious, first come being first served, but hardly good civil +administration. + +At the time of the expedition of Garibaldi which ended at Aspromonte, +the excitement in the city was intense, and the panic on the part of +the ecclesiastical population so great that they mainly took refuge in +the convents and villages of the mountain country. I had occasion to +see the Pope at that time, and found him in profound despondency, +evidently persuaded that Garibaldi would come to Rome. He said to me +that he was convinced that the great day of tribulation prophesied for +the church had come, and it would have its fifty years of oppression, +after which it would arise again more glorious than ever; but there +was no question that in his mind the French garrison was not for the +moment an efficient protection. The Italian party in the city was very +small, but active, and in those days especially so. The priests were +insulted and menaced whenever it was possible to reach them covertly, +and finally one was stabbed in a crowd. Many arrests were made, and +amongst those arrested was an exile who had ventured into the city to +visit his friends. He was put on trial for the stabbing, and, though +he proved an alibi, he was condemned to death, for "some example must +be made," they said. There was not the slightest evidence against him +except that he was an exile who had no right to be in the city, and +he was executed. Every day the police had to obliterate rebellious +inscriptions from the walls, and a constant correspondence was kept up +with the patriots in Florence. To belong to the order of Freemasons +was punishable by death, but a lodge was in full activity, and when +Lincoln was assassinated it sent me, for his widow, a letter of +condolence. It was given me by Castellani, who, not being initiated, +had received it from a brother known to him. About the same time, the +revolutionary committee decided to contribute a stone from the _agger_ +of Servius Tullius to the Washington monument at Washington, and got +out one of the largest, had it dressed and appropriately inscribed, +and forwarded it to Leghorn for shipment to America, the bill of +lading being sent to me for transmission. + +The police regulations were extremely severe against heresy, but +brigandage was common, and the darker streets were unsafe at night to +strangers. People were not infrequently robbed in their own doorways, +and there was a recognized system of violent robbery known as "doorway +robbing." The streets were very badly lighted, and the entrance halls +on the ground floor were scarcely ever lighted, so that we always +carried wax tapers to light ourselves up to our rooms, or to visit our +friends. Incautious foreigners, ignorant of this need for precaution, +entering the dark passages, were sometimes seized by robbers hidden +behind the door, gagged, and stripped of all valuables without a +possibility of assistance unless a friend happened to enter the house +at the moment, for the police were never seen about the streets at +night. I had, in the second year of my residence, a very narrow escape +from capture by brigands, which might have been a serious matter. +I was making, with my wife and son, our _villeggiatura_ at Porto +d'Anzio, then a miserable fishing village, but, except Civita Vecchia, +the only convenient seaside locality in the States of the Church where +one could find lodgings. With an American lady friend staying with us, +we planned to make an excursion by boat to the Punta d'Astura, where +are the ruins of a villa of Cicero; but when half way there we were +driven back by a passing shower. On the same day a party of Roman +sportsmen, out quail shooting, were "held up" in the ruins and obliged +to pay a ransom of five thousand scudi. The brigands of the kingdom +of Naples were constantly given refuge and sustenance on our side +the frontier, and on a visit to Olevano, in the Sabine hills, I was +witness of a band of over two hundred taking refuge from the Italian +troops in the Papal territory, and being furnished with provisions and +refreshments as at a festa. Artists out sketching were never molested, +not because the Papal influence protected us, but because the brigands +knew their poverty, and had a tinge of sympathy with the arts. + +The ecclesiastical authorities were so severe on heresy that a friend +of mine, who had married an English lady who remained a Protestant, +was brought before the Inquisition (the "Holy Office") and put under +the severest pressure to compel his wife to abstain from attending +the English church outside the Porta del Popolo. He escaped ulterior +consequences only by appealing to the French authorities, he being a +surgeon in the service of the French garrison. For common morality +there was little care. The sexual relations were flagrantly loose, +and the scandal even of some of the great dignitaries was widespread. +Antonelli's amours were the subject of common gossip, and most of +the parish priests were in undisguised marital relations with their +housekeepers; nor was this considered as at all to their discredit by +the population at large. One of the leading Liberals, permitted to +remain in the city on account of the importance of his industry, +one of the great goldsmiths' works, told me that the Liberals never +permitted the priests to frequent their houses, as they invariably +conspired to corrupt the newly married women, unmarried girls being +unmolested. In the lower circles of the bourgeoisie it was a matter of +common knowledge that the husbands openly made a traffic of the virtue +of their wives; and in my personal acquaintance amongst the artists, +I knew of a number of cases in which the artist had the wife as a +mistress for a fixed compensation to the husband. + +For this kind of immorality the police had no eyes, and, admitting +enormous exaggeration in the common report of the conduct of the +younger priesthood and the students of the theological schools (and +there is no smoke without some fire), the conditions of morality +amongst the younger Italian clergy was a gross scandal. Houses of +ill-fame were notorious, and it used to be said that when Pius IX. was +urged by the French authorities to put them under control and license +he replied that "every house was a brothel, and it was useless to +license any." There was another saying which I heard often, that "if +you wanted to go to a brothel you must go in the daytime, for at night +they were full of priests." How far this was justified I do not know, +but I remember that two American acquaintances went one night to one +of the best recognized houses of the kind, a place of the most common +notoriety on the Corso, and they were told at the door that there was +no room,--"every place was occupied." + +Let me not be charged with making of this state of things an +accusation against the Catholic religion. The English, Irish, and +American students, who were those with whom I principally came in +contact, were ardent and enthusiastic devotees, as earnest in their +religious observances as any of the most devoted members of any other +church I have known. Indeed, it is my personal experience that so far +as regards the younger men, I have never found so many animated by the +true apostolical spirit as amongst the students of theology of British +and American birth whom I then knew at Rome. At the head of all the +Catholics of all nations whom I have ever known are the English, in +respect of sincere and ardent devotion to their church, with the +minimum of animosity towards other creeds, and the most healthy +morality. With the great majority of Italian ecclesiastics, on the +contrary, religion is a mere formality, and its influence on the life +is inconsiderable and unconsidered. It was, therefore, not because it +was a Catholic city that the morality of Rome was so low, but because +the energies of the hierarchy were so occupied with the difficulties +of the position of a government of priests unused to civil +administration and by their own education disqualified for it, that +the ordinary functions of government were impossible to it. The +situation was made still worse by the Italian constitutional +indifference to questions of common morality. As the government of the +church lies in the hands of the Italian clergy, it will be forever +impossible for a government organized on the principles of the Papal +temporal power to be other than that which has been suppressed by +Italy. To the majority of the higher Italian ecclesiastics, the church +has become merely a political instrument, into the management of which +the spiritual interests of the people do not enter, and the efforts of +the Catholics of other countries to bring about a reform will never +succeed while the power is in the hands of the Italian clergy, which +it will be as long as the Papacy is an Italian institution; and as the +Pope is Pope merely because he is the Bishop of Rome, it is difficult +to see how the situation can be made different. + +Pius IX. was personally a most sincere and devout, though worldly, +man, and it is difficult to believe that any other than a devotee +could now be elected to the Holy See, for even the most corrupt civil +or ecclesiastical intellect must see the importance of a reputation +for sanctity in the Pontiff, while, as the influence of the Papacy is +no longer of vital importance to the government of any country in the +world (though doubtless of considerable utility to several), there is +little political importance in the personality of the Pontiff, and +slight motive for foreign governments to exercise influence on the +election. If removed from Italy and established in a seat surrounded +by a population like that of the masses in France (out of Paris and +the large cities), amenable to purely spiritual influences, the church +would revert to its normal functions and abandon politics,--a result +never to be hoped for while it remains Italian. I have no sympathy +with its creed, or any other of the creeds, for I conceive no +healthy conformity of belief possible to men and women differing in +intellectual and spiritual capacities; but I have seen good work done +by the Catholic church in many quarters, and I have many and admirable +Catholic friends, and, to be frank, I do not believe that the creed +makes much difference in the religion. + +As to Pius IX., I am convinced that he was not only a devout man, but +an excellent and admirable man, as men go, a genuine believer in the +divine direction of his pontificate, and incapacitated for civil +government simply because no one could carry on a civil government on +ecclesiastical principles. He loved his people, and, personally and +generally, was beloved by them; but the progress of liberalism and +democracy had driven out of the Papal States, or into a mute and +inflexible opposition, all the most active and potent intellects +amongst them, and the clergy without them could not administer the +government; so that, wishing to do good to his subjects, he could not +improve their political condition without inviting those elements of +liberalism which he considered the inexorable enemies of the church, +which was to him the highest interest of humanity, He reposed his +faith on the abilities of clerics who knew nothing of human nature +or practical politics, but comprehended only a paternal control, +absolute, and to be enforced by the rod, actual or figurative; or on +those of civilian devotees and fanatics less intelligent even than the +clerical functionaries. + +As I was, for the greater part of my term, in charge of the legation +interests and duties, I saw Pius IX. often and liked him much. One day +when I was having an audience in his little room, the windows of +which looked west, there came up a great thunder storm, with frequent +flashes of lightning, at each of which he crossed himself and devoutly +said a prayer. His conversation convinced me that he felt profoundly +convinced of his divinely appointed function as the vicegerent of God +on earth, and his sincerity inspired me with great respect for the +man; but, naturally, with little for his intellect. His _bonhomie_ was +remarkable, and he had a keen sense of humor, which led him to make +sarcastic, and often telling remarks, on men and things, in which he +was sometimes the reverse of diplomatic. He had, for my advantage, +many jibes at our past ministers, of some of whom he had diverting +memories, and especially of Major Cass,--of whom he always spoke as +"quel Cass," who had curious habits of night wandering and adventure +seeking, or, as Pius put it, "could not be quiet of nights." Either he +or his predecessor, I forget which, had insisted on putting his horse +through a ride round the parapet of the Pincian balustrade, where a +slip or a yielding stone meant death to the rider, which might have +been of no importance, but to the horse also, which would have been a +pity. And the old man liked a sly thrust at any of us who had made a +blunder. + +While thus in charge of the diplomatic relations of my government +without its recognition, the Department sent out a chaplain, an +ex-chaplain of the House of Representatives, who, having served his +time in that capacity, was entitled to a vacation in Europe, and came +with recommendations to me. Protestant worship was forbidden within +the walls of Rome, but to induce the English Protestants to come to +Rome and spend their money there, they were allowed to worship in a +sort of warehouse outside the Porta del Popolo. This was repugnant +to our democratic ways, and the new chaplain insisted on having his +chapel inside the walls. So I "put on cheek" and hired in the name +of the legation an apartment with a huge reception room close to the +Piazza di Spagna, put up the arms of the United States of America, +and opened the reception room for public worship as the chapel of the +legation,--the first instance in recorded time of Protestant worship +in the Papal city. The sequel was amusing, for as Sunday was my only +holiday, and I always spent it on the Campagna, the chaplain cut me +dead for not attending his services and keeping Sunday. + +I expected some admonitory allusion to this achievement when next +I saw the Pope, but no notice was ever taken of it either by the +superior or the lower authorities, and so far as I know the church of +my planting flourished as long as the city remained under the Papal +rule, but with no more of my watering. The Pope was, I am persuaded, +quite indifferent to it, for, devout and unquestioning believer in +his own divine authority as he was, he was not a bigot, and not of +a persecuting disposition, but he was only a part of an immense and +intricate machine, over the movements of which neither he nor any +other Pope could have much control. He had every possible disposition +to be that ideal ruler, a benevolent despot, but even in that little +realm the details of government were impossible of control by the most +competent head of a government; they were necessarily left to the +incompetent, bigoted, and zealous administrators chosen by the +secondary chiefs of the departments, all the most conservative of men, +with a reverence for the abuses and usages of the old regime. It was +personal government down to the lowest grade of responsibility. The +Pope presided and bore the responsibility of the proceedings, but +Antonelli was the real ruler of the States of the Church. + +And Antonelli was the very impersonation of unscrupulous and malignant +intellect, subtle with all the Italian subtlety, and unscrupulous as +any of the brigands from the community in which he had his origin. He +was in those days a cardinal of the order of deacons, and only in his +later career a priest, which fact is sometimes made the excuse for his +frank and notorious disregard of the rule of chastity, nor did he seem +to be concerned that his amours were the common gossip of Rome. I was +one day in his anteroom waiting for an audience when a lady came to +visit him, and when she was announced he flew to receive her with the +ardor of a boy in love, and with such open and passionate expressions +of affection as could be seen only in a southern nature. But he +had none of the slowness of action or decision which we attribute +sometimes to the languor of tropical natures. In business, as in love, +he lost no time, and never was at a loss for his expedient, but came +at once to a decision, and gave it on the spot. When the cruise of the +Alabama gave rise to diplomatic correspondence, and our government +protested against her receiving such treatment from neutrals as would +facilitate her career, I was, amongst my colleagues under similar +obligations, charged to protest against her being admitted to the +privileges of a national man-of-war in the port of Civita Vecchia. +Antonelli replied to my communication of the protest that she would be +admitted to the port with the same privileges as a man-of-war of any +other nation, and the reply was given with almost explosive promptness +and vivacity. But until a request for relaxation of the passport +regulations in favor of Southerners was made by some one professing to +speak on behalf of our own government, which was in my second year, +he never permitted the least bending of them, and only in important +cases, where strong personal influence was brought to bear, issued +passports of the Foreign Office for Southern Americans to leave the +city. + +Antonelli had a face which gave one an idea of the expression "beaute +du Diable," for a more perfect type of Satanic intelligence and +malignity than it showed at times I cannot conceive. If I had been a +figure painter, I should certainly have painted him as Mephistopheles, +as he appeared in the audience room in his close-fitting purple +costume with scarlet trimmings, his long coat-tails flying behind him +when he moved like the fringe of a flame. He was the most curious +contrast to the Pope, with his humorous and kindly manner, that it is +possible to conceive, for the Cardinal was nothing if not sardonic and +serious. The very slightest trace of humor would have transformed him +completely. + +Unique as was the government, so was the position of a consul. It had +something of the exterritoriality of the same position in the Turkish +empire. The arms of my government over my door were a protection +against legal process, and I imagine that my predecessor had so +employed it, for when I had my first clothes made the tailor refused +to send them to the consulate till they were paid for. I had a right +to carry arms and shoot anywhere in the territory of the Pope, and I +had an absolute control over the passports, i.e. over the movements of +my fellow citizens, for no one who had come to Rome with the passport +of the United States of America could leave it without my visa, and I +could sequestrate the passport whenever I saw fit. But on the part of +my own government the consideration afforded was the minimum of its +kind. I had no salary, and my compensation was in fees, viz. those on +passports and the few invoices of goods sent to America, with such +notarial business as might arise. The late consul had resigned, and +gone home to fight for the Confederate cause, leaving the consulate +in the hands of a French secretary, an old and needy teacher of his +native language whenever he could find a pupil. He was satisfied with +the pittance my own means allowed me to give him, and he wrote, in a +much better French than mine would have been, the dispatches to the +Vatican. I could talk French fluently if not correctly, and that +sufficed. Before leaving Washington, I had received a hint from a +friend in the Department of State that the fewer dispatches I troubled +them with the higher would be my favor in the department, so that, +with the exception of my quarterly accounts, I had little official +writing to do; but when I came to Rome again in 1882, I was told by my +successor of that date that my file of dispatches to the department +was the only one which existed in the consular archives of the Papal +occupation of Rome. + +Rome was in those days the Lotophagitis of our century, whose +population lived in an artificial peace, a sort of dreamland--artists +who, whether German, French, English, Americans, or Russians, were +more or less imbued with the feeling of the old art, and who found +their _clientele_ in people who believed, as I have heard some say, +that _any_ picture painted in Rome was better than any picture painted +elsewhere! There was, therefore, a continual exportation of copies, +good and bad, of the old masters and a few landscapes for the +remembering of localities, but the quality of the art was of trifling +importance to the buyers--it was "done in Rome," and that sufficed as +merit. The Cafe Greco, haunt of the race of artists since Salvator +Rosa, was in its original and charming, if rude, simplicity, and there +came all the artists to take their after-dinner cup. Old John +Gibson, though not the oldest of the habitues, was the chief of our +Anglo-American community; Randolph Rogers, Mosier, Reinhart, Story, +and two or three other sculptors, whose names I have forgotten, and +two or three American landscape painters, of whom Tilton was chief at +the time of my arrival, had the monopoly of American patronage, and +every wealthy American who came conceived it his duty to patronize +American art, while our government had the tradition of always sending +an artist to Rome as consul. + +Charlotte Cushman, a famous actress of her day, was the nucleus of a +little clique of women sculptors, Miss Stebbins, Harriet Hosmer, +and one or two others of lesser fame. Accordingly, she made war on +sculptors of the other sex in all the curious ways of womanly malice, +in order to the exclusive reaping by her protegees of the golden +harvest. I had known her years before, when she was still on the stage +and I the dramatic and art critic of the New York "Evening Post," and, +as our relations had then been cordial, it was natural that she should +"take me up" on my arrival. Her hospitality was large--dinners, +musical evenings, etc., and she had a "salon," to all which I was a +welcome guest, and the cordiality lasted until she thought it time to +make use of me. She then proposed to me to undertake the demolition +of the fictitious reputations of the leading American sculptors, +especially Story, Mosier, and Rogers, and, when I replied that I had +then the intention of returning to the occupation of a landscape +painter, and that in that position, as well as in that of consul +and in a manner the protector of all my countrymen, it would be +inconsistent with the position to publish criticisms on my fellow +artists, the thermometer of her regard fell at once, and I had instant +evidence that I was out of her list of friends. + +Her coolness was changed to active hostility by another case of +conflicting interests. The recognition of passports issued before +the rebellion having been interdicted by the government, the consuls +received an order to cancel all such as had been issued prior to the +order, and to issue new ones only on the oath of allegiance being +taken by the recipient. There was also a charge of five dollars for +the passport, which was to be renewed after a year. Charlotte was, +amongst her other qualities, avaricious, and though wealthy and +ostentatious she rebelled at expenditure which did not show, and when +it came time for her to leave Rome for the summer, and her passport +came for visa, I stopped it and notified her to take out a new one. +She refused, and confiding in the friendly personal relations which +had existed between her and Seward, she wrote to the department +protesting against my action and making formal complaint of my +discourtesy. Seward replied that I was obeying my orders and that the +passport must be taken and paid for. From that day war was open and +malignant. Of course I was interdicted from responding in any way to +her attacks, but I found them of no great importance; though when I +was sent to Crete, four years later, she had influence enough to get +her nephew appointed consul in succession. + +In the years when Miss Cushman was on the stage I had understood her +pretty well, and, though she had done what was possible to give me a +good impression of her, I do not think I was ever much persuaded of +her goodness or surprised at the enmity she showed when I came into +collision with her interests. I think she possessed an utterly selfish +nature, was not at all scrupulous in the attainment of her purposes, +and was, in effect, that most dangerous member of society, a +strong-willed and large-brained woman without a vestige of principle. +She had a diabolical magnetism which in her best part, Meg Merrilies, +had a sensuous attraction I have never known so powerful in another +woman. Her Queen Katherine was a failure, and she could not play the +part of a refined woman, but into that of Meg Merrilies, an adaptation +of her own of Sir Walter Scott's novel, she put her whole nature--it +was her very self as far as she would let herself be seen. + +When I had a studio in New York I had as next-door neighbor an artist +who was scene painter to the company in which Charlotte used to play +at the old Park Theatre, and the stories he told me of her in that +connection were terrible. My friend had never dared to speak of her +openly, and only did so to me with a caution that if what he told me +got to Miss Cushman's ears she was quite capable of silencing him +in the most effective manner. I am of opinion that he judged her +correctly, for she must have been a tiger when her passions were +aroused, capable of anything, and I was careful never to give her more +serious cause of offense than the doing of my official duty. Over +those whom she chose to fascinate, she had an extraordinary power, and +I have known young women who were so completely under her control as +to be unable to escape from it when they found out her real nature +except by flight. + +If she had been beautiful she might have set the social world +topsy-turvy. I think she was the cleverest woman I ever knew. Her tact +was extraordinary, and she never failed to impress the visitors to +Rome with her sincerity and benevolence, though she really possessed +neither of those qualities. She was an immense illustration of a maxim +of Dante Rossetti to the effect that artists had nothing to do with +morality. She was always on the stage--in the most familiar act and in +the presence of strangers she never lost sight of the footlights, +and the best acting I ever saw her in was in private and in the +representation of some comedy or tragedy of her own interests. She +played with a marvelous power one part, and all others were but +variations of that or failures--it was not art which dominated her, +but the simulation of nature, and that her own, which is not the same +thing as art, as we all ought to know. + +Between herself and the sculptor Rogers, who was, in his way, as +clever as she, there was an implacable war, veiled by the ordinary +forms of civility, which both were careful never to break over. Miss +Cushman had begun her career as a singer, but, her voice failing, +she had to be content to remain on the stage of the theatre; but she +always retained a certain dramatic quality of voice, and, within a +very limited register, she sang with great power and pathos. Two of +her favorite songs were Kingsley's "The Sands of Dee" and the "Three +Fishermen," which, as she sang them, rarely failed to affect those who +heard them for the first time to tears. Rogers was an admirable mimic +and sang those songs with such a close rendering of the voice and +manner (for Miss Cushman's voice was rather that of a man than one +belonging to her own sex), with just a touch of burlesque, that he +brought out roars of laughter; and when the two cordial enemies met in +society somebody was sure to ask Rogers to sing "The Sands of Dee," +which he did with good will, and Miss Cushman was obliged, to her +intense anger, to applaud the caricature of her best performance. It +was cruel, but he was merciless, and spared no exaggeration of her +voice, her dramatic manner, and a way she had of sprawling over the +piano, producing an ensemble which made it impossible to hear her +again in the same songs without a disposition to laugh. + +An incident occurred at this time which made Miss Cushman's position +in regard to the quarrel with the consulate still more difficult. It +was not long after the advent of the famous horse-tamer John S. Rarey, +of whom she had been a pupil in America when he first came out. A +person professing to be Rarey was touring Europe and teaching his +manner of breaking horses, beginning at Copenhagen and following the +seashore to Naples, whence he came to Rome and was received with great +enthusiasm by Miss Cushman, for at that time, and while the war was +in its critical stage, American lions were very rare in Rome. The +horse-tamer was, on her authority, made the guest of the American +community, breakfasted, dined, and feted, and a large subscription +was made for a class in horse-breaking. At this juncture I heard of +a performance of the _soi-disant_ Rarey at Naples, in which he had +nearly killed a beautiful young mare, and, knowing that the system of +Rarey did not include cruelty, I began to doubt the identity of the +tamer. I called for the passport with which he had come, and which +was, as usual, deposited at the police office, and discovered that it +was issued by a "vice-consul _pro tempore_" at Dresden, an officer not +recognized by our regulations, bad and loose as they were, and a +man whose name, moreover, was not on the consular list, though the +passport was on a regular form. I at once wrote to the police, +requesting them to cause the said John S. Rarey to prove his identity. + +The summons to the police office brought him to the consulate the next +morning before I was out of bed (the office and my bedroom constituted +the headquarters of the government of the United States of America +at Rome), with a petition to me to request the police to delay the +examination until the next day, as he had two friends who would +identify him, but who were that day (it was Sunday) at Tivoli for the +day. As an escape was impossible, and he was in a nervous trepidation +which, it was clear to see, was awful funk, I wrote the note desired; +and, before the day was out, he had gone to my English colleague, the +amiable Severn, and confessed that he was an impostor, a Canadian, and +asked for English protection. Severn replied that without my consent +he could do nothing for him; he had come with an American passport +and must abide by it, unless I gave him up. He was wilted, in such +a fright as I never saw a man in before or since, and he had good +reason, for the penalty of coming to Rome with a false passport was +imprisonment in St. Angelo. Meanwhile Miss Cushman had gone into +heroics over the insult I was offering so distinguished a man as to +suspect his identity, and all her clique were united in abusing me; +but on Monday the impostor slipped out of Rome by the connivance of +Severn, the police, and myself, after I had attached the amount of the +subscriptions for his class, which were still lying at the bankers', +and pledged him to abstain in future from any similar impersonation. +As Miss Cushman had stood sponsor for him, she having been a pupil of +the real Rarey, his confession was a mortification which she +visited on my head, but as it disarmed her I was tranquil over the +consequences. + +I was continually at war with the Confederate Americans, galled to +extreme bitterness by the right I had of compelling them to take the +oath of allegiance before renewing their passports. Amongst them was a +very beautiful woman, a Virginian, and the wife of a commodore in the +navy of the United States of America, then on service in the Potomac. +She refused to take the oath, and insulted me in the grossest manner +and in public, as an insulter of ladies, _etc., etc_. But all the +influence she could bring to bear could not get her passport from the +police without my visa; and at last, despairing of escape from Rome, +she came to make her peace, meeting me at the bank, but unwilling to +accept the degradation of coming to the consulate. "You are not going +to make me come to your dirty little consulate, are you?" she said; to +which I replied, "Oh, no; my secretary shall administer the oath to +you in your bedroom, if you choose;" but, in the end, she had to take +the oath and sign it, as did many of her compatriots. Amongst the +Southerners who came under my administration was the wife of General +Winfield Scott, commander-in-chief of our army, who actually died +under my care, without a friend or relative near her. + +This social warfare, the consequence of my official position, had the +effect of giving me occupation and excitement, and I was sustained +cordially by the loyal Americans in Rome, so that the position, though +unremunerative, was rather pleasant than otherwise. In the course of +the summer after my arrival, ex-Governor Randall of Wisconsin came as +minister, his appointment being intended to "keep the place warm" for +General Rufus King, a personal friend of Seward, to whom the place +was promised whenever he should be tired of fighting, or qualified by +glory for future political contests. Randall was a mere party hack; +he knew nothing of diplomacy or good manners, or of any language but +Western American. I took for him the house on the Pincian now known as +the House of the Four Winds, a magnificent situation for the summer. +He saw the sights, generally in a carriage, with a paper of fruit +on the front seat and me as cicerone; was presented at the Vatican, +presented me as charge d'affaires, and, having his leave of absence in +his pocket, departed for a tour of Europe, bequeathing to me the honor +of paying his bills, rent, etc., down to the washing bill, to be +settled on his return, and never appeared again. I was left to pay out +of my empty pocket; and I never heard from him, though, a long time +after, I succeeded in recovering from the Treasury the amount of those +bills I had paid for Randall for which I could show vouchers; those +for which I had none I had to put to account of profit and loss, which +was, as long as I was in Rome, largely to the loss account, drafts on +my brother making up the deficiency. I was also, until it suspended +publication, Roman correspondent of John Bright's paper, which I think +was called the "Star." + +After an interregnum of some months came another bed-warmer for +General King, this one a New York politician, also a friend of +Seward's, an ancient politician, who had recently married a young wife +desirous of a stay in some European capital, and, if possible, at the +expense of the government. These at least were gentlefolk, and paid +their bills without doing anything to scandalize the Romans. They +spent the winter and went home, and finally came General King. + +Finding that my fees and sales of pictures (for I had taken up my +painting again and had sold a few small pictures) amounted to about +six hundred dollars a year, and were slowly increasing, I decided to +go home and bring my wife and child out. I had been absent more than a +year, and several months after being in Rome had the news of the birth +of a son. It was near being my death, for, on the evening of receiving +the news, I had gone to make a call on an English lady who lived in +the Villa Negroni, where the railway station now is, and close by the +prison where all the political offenders were kept, and which was +guarded by French soldiers. I was in a vein of profound meditation on +the news I had just received, and absorbed to that extent that I +kept on my course along the sidewalk in front of the prison, walking +towards the sentry, and did not hear his challenge till it had been +repeated three times, when I heard his rifle rattle as it came down to +the take aim, and suddenly became conscious that I had heard a sound, +the meaning of which must be "_Qui vive_?" I sung out lustily, "_Ami_" +and was told that if I was a friend the other side of the road was my +place. + +I had discovered that the consular agent left by my predecessor at +Civita Vecchia was engaged in a system of espionage on behalf of the +Papal authorities, and had been issuing American passports to spies +whom they were employing in Italian territory, and I at once dismissed +him and informed the Italian government through Mr. Marsh, our +minister to Italy, and received a letter of thanks from that +government. From Washington a new consular agent was sent, and, +putting him in charge of the consulate, I started for home, going by +way of Turin, to see Mr. Marsh, and by diligence over Mont Cenis. +Subsequent events brought me much in contact with that admirable +diplomat and scholar, at that time the one bright feature of our +diplomatic service on the Continent. Our government received great +credit for sending such a man abroad to represent us, but the chance +of it was in the fact that he was closely related to Senator Edmunds +of Vermont, whose influence with the administration was sufficient to +secure any single nomination he insisted on, and who did insist on +the maintenance of Marsh in the diplomatic service. As Marsh had been +conspicuous in the advocacy of the Italian cause during the unitary +movement, he was designated by the circumstances for the American +legation to Italy, in which he honored his appointment as few of our +representatives at that epoch had done. + +In fact, with the exception of Adams, at London, and Marsh, at Turin, +we had hardly a representative abroad, either consular or diplomatic, +who was a credit to the country. As the war continued, the importance +of being respected in Europe became more evident, and a change took +place; but the few men of respectable standing who were in foreign +countries representing the United States of America were appointed on +account of political pressure, and not on their merits. My colleague +at Venice, Howells, one of Mr. Lincoln's most fortunate appointments, +owed his position, not to his literary abilities, which were then +unknown to the country at large, but to his having written a campaign +life of Lincoln, a service which was always considered by the +successful candidate as entitling the biographer to some appointment. +A term of consular service was and is still considered the reward for +campaign services, personal or vicarious, and at the next change of +administration the consul was superseded by another, equally crude, +and with all to learn in his business. + +What the character of the Americans as well as of the government, +as such, has suffered of derogation abroad from this political +huckstering with public offices, no one can know who was not much +abroad in the years preceding our war. Marsh was honored and beloved +at Rome by both King and people, as was Adams by the Court of St. +James, but the dead weight which the standing disrepute of our +diplomacy imposed on both those distinguished men can hardly now be +estimated. My predecessors at Rome, and the ministers before my time, +had left a bad odor behind them. One of them was notorious for his +devotion to a form of dissipation much and scandalously known at +Naples during the reign of the Bourbons as a springtime sport, and +which has since been the occasion of a noted crusade in England led by +Mr. Stead. Of a minister of the United States of America found drunk +in the streets of Berlin by the police, and a charge d'affaires who, +in an outbreak at Constantinople, hoisted the flag over a brothel he +frequented, the memory is perhaps too old to have reached men born +much later than I, but for the twenty years of my first knowledge of +European matters our representation abroad was a disgrace to America. + +I landed in New York the day after the battle of Gettysburg, and for +the first time in the history of our trouble I felt assured as to the +end, for I perceived that the attempt at invasion by the Confederacy +showed that the government of it felt its affairs to be in a desperate +condition, and the determination on the part of the North was +evidently unshaken. From that time I never felt any anxiety as to +the final result. I found my brother at the head of the construction +department of the revenue service, his friend Salmon P. Chase being +Secretary of the Treasury. He was desirous to keep me at home to +assist him, with which desire I was ready to conform, but the +opposition of his wife was so bitter that he had to decide against my +staying, and, taking my wife and boy, I returned to Rome. My brother +was already attacked by the malady of which, two years later, he died. + +Arriving in Rome, and resuming the direction of the consulate, I found +to my dismay that General King had appointed as secretary of legation +a local American banker, a "Copperhead," who had in the name of the +government, but without authority, requested the Roman Ministry of +Foreign Affairs to dispense with the visa on the passports of all +American visitors, and Antonelli was, of course, too glad to be +relieved of the embarrassment which had been often caused him by the +regulation, which all the Southerners had asked to be relieved from. +Thus I found that the principal resource of the consulate was gone. As +the home government had given the strongest orders to protest against +any such exception being made of American passports, I, of course, +protested, but was informed that the rule had been taken at the +request of my own government; and, though Antonelli knew perfectly +that Hooker had no authority to enter into any negotiations with him +on any subject, and that he had no official position, it suited him +to accept the contrary, and my remonstrances to the minister, General +King, had no effect. I then laid the matter before the Department +of State at Washington, but, as General King was the close personal +friend of Seward, who was quite indifferent to diplomatic scandals +away from England, no attention was paid to my complaints, and I gave +up the consulate to Brown, the consular agent at Civita Vecchia, to +get what he could from it, and devoted myself entirely to painting, +by which, with a little writing, I made enough to live in the simple +manner which I was accustomed to. + +Released from all obligations to remain at the consulate, I spent the +most of my time in sketching on the Campagna. Of all the landscape I +have ever seen, in the Alps, Sicily, Greece, the American forests and +lakes, or semi-tropical Florida, nothing has impressed me as did the +Roman Campagna in its then condition of decay and neglect. The beauty +of line of its mountain framework is still there, and passages here +and there are untouched, but the improvements of progress have +intruded in so many points that, as a whole, the solemn and poetic +aspect of those days is irretrievably lost. I used to sit out in the +most lonely passages painting into the twilight until I could no +longer distinguish my colors, and then tramp back to Rome at my +fastest, to get in before the gates closed for the night. If it was +not the rapture of art, it was the passion of poetic nature. + +As fortune would have it, there was in Rome that winter Mr. George +G. Fogg, the minister of the United States of America at Berne, a +personal friend of Lincoln, and chairman of the Young Men's National +Committee, which arranged the convention that nominated him. On +Lincoln's election Fogg was offered his choice of the diplomatic +appointments, and selected Berne, the most modest position he could +take. He came to pass the Christmas holidays at Rome, and of course I +laid my case before him. He in turn put it before his late colleagues +in the House, and the committee on foreign affairs made a strong +representation at the Department of State; and, when Seward refused to +recall King, or take any measures to correct the injustice done me, +they struck out from the consular and diplomatic appropriation bill +the appropriation for the legation at Rome, which meant the abolition +of the legation, and I was a little later transferred to Crete, a +salaried post, where there was supposed to be nothing to do but make +my quarterly report. + +My commission must have been one of the very last Lincoln signed, for +he was assassinated before it reached me. I was spending the evening +at the quarters of one of my best Roman friends, Mr. John A. King (a +cousin of, but not a sympathizer with, the general), when the news +came of the murder of Lincoln and the attempt on Seward, and very +vivid still is the recollection of the horror and grief we all felt. +But we also felt that the President's work was done, and that his +fame was set securely in history, beyond the chance of any political +blunder to damage it. Could he ever have devised a better death +in view of his future influence and honor? I learned from one of +Lincoln's Illinois friends, whom I later saw in Rome, that the +appointment in Crete was intended by the President as the recognition +of the injustice with which Seward had treated my case. My experience +of Seward's way of looking at public appointments and public +interests, when crossed by his personal relations, certainly went to +confirm the apprehensions of Mr. Fogg and his friends that Seward's +personal following would stand between him and the best interests of +the state. As Fogg used to put it, "He won't steal, himself, but he +don't care how much his friends steal." But my misfortune brought +about the abolition of what had always been a scandal and a job--the +legation of the United States of America to the Pope. + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Autobiography of a Journalist, +Volume I, by Stillman, William James + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A JOURNALIST *** + +***** This file should be named 11546.txt or 11546.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/5/4/11546/ + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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