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diff --git a/11481-0.txt b/11481-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9c6d86 --- /dev/null +++ b/11481-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,552 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11481 *** + +DEEP WATERS + +By W.W. JACOBS + + + + +DIRTY WORK + +It was nearly high-water, and the night-watchman, who had stepped aboard +a lighter lying alongside the wharf to smoke a pipe, sat with half-closed +eyes enjoying the summer evening. The bustle of the day was over, the +wharves were deserted, and hardly a craft moved on the river. Perfumed +clouds of shag, hovering for a time over the lighter, floated lazily +towards the Surrey shore. + +"There's one thing about my job," said the night-watchman, slowly, "it's +done all alone by yourself. There's no foreman a-hollering at you and +offering you a penny for your thoughts, and no mates to run into you from +behind with a loaded truck and then ask you why you didn't look where +you're going to. From six o'clock in the evening to six o'clock next +morning I'm my own master." + +He rammed down the tobacco with an experienced forefinger and puffed +contentedly. + +People like you 'ud find it lonely (he continued, after a pause); I did +at fust. I used to let people come and sit 'ere with me of an evening +talking, but I got tired of it arter a time, and when one chap fell +overboard while 'e was showing me 'ow he put his wife's mother in 'er +place, I gave it up altogether. There was three foot o' mud in the dock +at the time, and arter I 'ad got 'im out, he fainted in my arms. + +Arter that I kept myself to myself. Say wot you like, a man's best +friend is 'imself. There's nobody else'll do as much for 'im, or let 'im +off easier when he makes a mistake. If I felt a bit lonely I used to +open the wicket in the gate and sit there watching the road, and p'r'aps +pass a word or two with the policeman. Then something 'appened one night +that made me take quite a dislike to it for a time. + +I was sitting there with my feet outside, smoking a quiet pipe, when I +'eard a bit of a noise in the distance. Then I 'eard people running and +shouts of "Stop, thief!" A man came along round the corner full pelt, +and, just as I got up, dashed through the wicket and ran on to the wharf. +I was arter 'im like a shot and got up to 'im just in time to see him +throw something into the dock. And at the same moment I 'eard the other +people run past the gate. + +"Wot's up?" I ses, collaring 'im. + +"Nothing," he ses, breathing 'ard and struggling. "Let me go." + +He was a little wisp of a man, and I shook 'im like a dog shakes a rat. +I remembered my own pocket being picked, and I nearly shook the breath +out of 'im. + +"And now I'm going to give you in charge," I ses, pushing 'im along +towards the gate. + +"Wot for?" he ses, purtending to be surprised. + +"Stealing," I ses. + +"You've made a mistake," he ses; "you can search me if you like." + +"More use to search the dock," I ses. "I see you throw it in. Now you +keep quiet, else you'll get 'urt. If you get five years I shall be all +the more pleased." + +I don't know 'ow he did it, but 'e did. He seemed to sink away between +my legs, and afore I knew wot was 'appening, I was standing upside down +with all the blood rushing to my 'ead. As I rolled over he bolted +through the wicket, and was off like a flash of lightning. + +A couple o' minutes arterwards the people wot I 'ad 'eard run past came +back agin. There was a big fat policeman with 'em--a man I'd seen afore +on the beat--and, when they 'ad gorn on, he stopped to 'ave a word with +me. + +"'Ot work," he ses, taking off his 'elmet and wiping his bald 'ead with a +large red handkerchief. "I've lost all my puff." + +"Been running?" I ses, very perlite. + +"Arter a pickpocket," he ses. "He snatched a lady's purse just as she +was stepping aboard the French boat with her 'usband. 'Twelve pounds in +it in gold, two peppermint lozenges, and a postage stamp.'" + +He shook his 'ead, and put his 'elmet on agin. + +"Holding it in her little 'and as usual," he ses. "Asking for trouble, I +call it. I believe if a woman 'ad one hand off and only a finger and +thumb left on the other, she'd carry 'er purse in it." + +He knew a'most as much about wimmen as I do. When 'is fust wife died, +she said 'er only wish was that she could take 'im with her, and she made +'im promise her faithful that 'e'd never marry agin. His second wife, +arter a long illness, passed away while he was playing hymns on the +concertina to her, and 'er mother, arter looking at 'er very hard, went +to the doctor and said she wanted an inquest. + +He went on talking for a long time, but I was busy doing a bit of 'ead- +work and didn't pay much attention to 'im. I was thinking o' twelve +pounds, two lozenges, and a postage stamp laying in the mud at the bottom +of my dock, and arter a time 'e said 'e see as 'ow I was waiting to get +back to my night's rest, and went off--stamping. + +I locked the wicket when he 'ad gorn away, and then I went to the edge of +the dock and stood looking down at the spot where the purse 'ad been +chucked in. The tide was on the ebb, but there was still a foot or two +of water atop of the mud. I walked up and down, thinking. + +I thought for a long time, and then I made up my mind. If I got the +purse and took it to the police-station, the police would share the money +out between 'em, and tell me they 'ad given it back to the lady. If I +found it and put a notice in the newspaper--which would cost money--very +likely a dozen or two ladies would come and see me and say it was theirs. +Then if I gave it to the best-looking one and the one it belonged to +turned up, there'd be trouble. My idea was to keep it--for a time--and +then if the lady who lost it came to me and asked me for it I would give +it to 'er. + +Once I had made up my mind to do wot was right I felt quite 'appy, and +arter a look up and down, I stepped round to the Bear's Head and 'ad a +couple o' goes o' rum to keep the cold out. There was nobody in there +but the landlord, and 'e started at once talking about the thief, and 'ow +he 'ad run arter him in 'is shirt-sleeves. + +"My opinion is," he ses, "that 'e bolted on one of the wharves and 'id +'imself. He disappeared like magic. Was that little gate o' yours +open?" + +"I was on the wharf," I ses, very cold. + +"You might ha' been on the wharf and yet not 'ave seen anybody come on," +he ses, nodding. + +"Wot d'ye mean?" I ses, very sharp. "Nothing," he ses. "Nothing." + +"Are you trying to take my character away?" I ses, fixing 'im with my +eye. + +"Lo' bless me, no!" he ses, staring at me. "It's no good to me." + +He sat down in 'is chair behind the bar and went straight off to sleep +with his eyes screwed up as tight as they would go. Then 'e opened +his mouth and snored till the glasses shook. I suppose I've been one of +the best customers he ever 'ad, and that's the way he treated me. For +two pins I'd ha' knocked 'is ugly 'ead off, but arter waking him up very +sudden by dropping my glass on the floor I went off back to the wharf. + +I locked up agin, and 'ad another look at the dock. The water 'ad nearly +gone and the mud was showing in patches. My mind went back to a +sailorman wot had dropped 'is watch over-board two years before, and +found it by walking about in the dock in 'is bare feet. He found it more +easy because the glass broke when he trod on it. + +The evening was a trifle chilly for June, but I've been used to roughing +it all my life, especially when I was afloat, and I went into the office +and began to take my clothes off. I took off everything but my pants, +and I made sure o' them by making braces for 'em out of a bit of string. +Then I turned the gas low, and, arter slipping on my boots, went outside. + +It was so cold that at fust I thought I'd give up the idea. The longer I +stood on the edge looking at the mud the colder it looked, but at last I +turned round and went slowly down the ladder. I waited a moment at the +bottom, and was just going to step off when I remembered that I 'ad got +my boots on, and I 'ad to go up agin and take 'em off. + +I went down very slow the next time, and anybody who 'as been down an +iron ladder with thin, cold rungs, in their bare feet, will know why, +and I had just dipped my left foot in, when the wharf-bell rang. + +I 'oped at fust that it was a runaway-ring, but it kept on, and the +longer it kept on, the worse it got. I went up that ladder agin and +called out that I was coming, and then I went into the office and just +slipped on my coat and trousers and went to the gate. + +"Wot d'you want?" I ses, opening the wicket three or four inches and +looking out at a man wot was standing there. + +"Are you old Bill?" he ses. + +"I'm the watchman," I ses, sharp-like. "Wot d'you want?" + +"Don't bite me!" he ses, purtending to draw back. "I ain't done no 'arm. +I've come round about that glass you smashed at the Bear's Head." + +"Glass!" I ses, 'ardly able to speak. + +"Yes, glass," he ses--"thing wot yer drink out of. The landlord says +it'll cost you a tanner, and 'e wants it now in case you pass away in +your sleep. He couldn't come 'imself cos he's got nobody to mind the +bar, so 'e sent me. Why! Halloa! Where's your boots? Ain't you afraid +o' ketching cold?" + +"You clear off," I ses, shouting at him. "D'ye 'ear me? Clear off while +you're safe, and you tell the landlord that next time 'e insults me I'll +smash every glass in 'is place and then sit 'im on top of 'cm! Tell 'im +if 'e wants a tanner out o' me, to come round 'imself, and see wot he +gets." + +It was a silly thing to say, and I saw it arterwards, but I was in such a +temper I 'ardly knew wot I was saying. I slammed the wicket in 'is face +and turned the key and then I took off my clothes and went down that +ladder agin. + +It seemed colder than ever, and the mud when I got fairly into it was +worse than I thought it could ha' been. It stuck to me like glue, and +every step I took seemed colder than the one before. 'Owever, when I +make up my mind to do a thing, I do it. I fixed my eyes on the place +where I thought the purse was, and every time I felt anything under my +foot I reached down and picked it up--and then chucked it away as far as +I could so as not to pick it up agin. Dirty job it was, too, and in five +minutes I was mud up to the neck, a'most. And I 'ad just got to wot I +thought was the right place, and feeling about very careful, when the +bell rang agin. + +I thought I should ha' gorn out o' my mind. It was just a little tinkle +at first, then another tinkle, but, as I stood there all in the dark and +cold trying to make up my mind to take no notice of it, it began to ring +like mad. I 'ad to go--I've known men climb over the gate afore now--and +I didn't want to be caught in that dock. + +The mud seemed stickier than ever, but I got out at last, and, arter +scraping some of it off with a bit o' stick, I put on my coat and +trousers and boots just as I was and went to the gate, with the bell +going its 'ardest all the time. + +When I opened the gate and see the landlord of the Bear's Head standing +there I turned quite dizzy, and there was a noise in my ears like the +roaring of the sea. I should think I stood there for a couple o' minutes +without being able to say a word. I could think of 'em. + +"Don't be frightened, Bill," ses the landlord. "I'm not going to eat +you." + +"He looks as if he's walking in 'is sleep," ses the fat policeman, wot +was standing near by. "Don't startle 'im." + +"He always looks like that," ses the landlord. + +I stood looking at 'im. I could speak then, but I couldn't think of any +words good enough; not with a policeman standing by with a notebook in +'is pocket. + +"Wot was you ringing my bell for?" I ses, at last. + +"Why didn't you answer it before?" ses the landlord. "D'you think I've +got nothing better to do than to stand ringing your bell for three- +quarters of an hour? Some people would report you." + +"I know my dooty," I ses; "there's no craft up to-night, and no reason +for anybody to come to my bell. If I was to open the gate every time a +parcel of overgrown boys rang my bell I should 'ave enough to do." + +"Well, I'll overlook it this time, seeing as you're an old man and +couldn't get another sleeping-in job," he ses, looking at the policeman +for him to see 'ow clever 'e was. "Wot about that tanner? That's wot +I've come for." + +"You be off," I ses, starting to shut the wicket. "You won't get no +tanner out of me." + +"All right," he ses, "I shall stand here and go on ringing the bell till +you pay up, that's all." + +He gave it another tug, and the policeman instead of locking 'im up for +it stood there laughing. + +I gave 'im the tanner. It was no use standing there arguing over a +tanner, with a purse of twelve quid waiting for me in the dock, but I +told 'im wot people thought of 'im. + +"Arf a second, watchman," ses the policeman, as I started to shut the +wicket agin. "You didn't see anything of that pickpocket, did you?" + +"I did not," I ses. + +"'Cos this gentleman thought he might 'ave come in here," ses the +policeman. + +"'Ow could he 'ave come in here without me knowing it?" I ses, firing +up. + +"Easy," ses the landlord, "and stole your boots into the bargain" + +"He might 'ave come when your back was turned," ses the policeman, "and +if so, he might be 'iding there now. I wonder whether you'd mind me +having a look round?" + +"I tell you he ain't 'ere," I ses, very short, "but, to ease your mind, +I'll 'ave a look round myself arter you've gorn." + +The policeman shook his 'ead. "Well, o' course, I can't come in without +your permission," he ses, with a little cough, "but I 'ave an idea, that +if it was your guv'nor 'ere instead of you he'd ha' been on'y too pleased +to do anything 'e could to help the law. I'll beg his pardon tomorrow +for asking you, in case he might object." + +That settled it. That's the police all over, and that's 'ow they get +their way and do as they like. I could see 'im in my mind's eye talking +to the guv'nor, and letting out little things about broken glasses and +such-like by accident. I drew back to let 'im pass, and I was so upset +that when that little rat of a landlord follered 'im I didn't say a word. + +I stood and watched them poking and prying about the wharf as if it +belonged to 'em, with the light from the policeman's lantern flashing +about all over the place. I was shivering with cold and temper. The mud +was drying on me. + +"If you've finished 'unting for the pickpocket I'll let you out and get +on with my work," I ses, drawing myself up. + +"Good night," ses the policeman, moving off. "Good night, dear," ses the +landlord. "Mind you tuck yourself up warm." + +I lost my temper for the moment and afore I knew wot I was doing I 'ad +got hold of him and was shoving 'im towards the gate as 'ard as I could +shove. He pretty near got my coat off in the struggle, and next moment +the police-man 'ad turned his lantern on me and they was both staring at +me as if they couldn't believe their eyesight. + +"He--he's turning black!" ses the landlord. + +"He's turned black!" ses the policeman. + +They both stood there looking at me with their mouths open, and then +afore I knew wot he was up to, the policeman came close up to me and +scratched my chest with his finger-nail. + +"It's mud!" he ses. + +"You keep your nails to yourself," I ses. "It's nothing to do with you." +and I couldn't 'elp noticing the smell of it. Nobody could. And wot was +worse than all was, that the tide 'ad turned and was creeping over the +mud in the dock. + +They got tired of it at last and came back to where I was and stood there +shaking their 'eads at me. + +"If he was on the wharf 'e must 'ave made his escape while you was in the +Bear's Head," ses the policeman. + +"He was in my place a long time," ses the landlord. + +"Well, it's no use crying over spilt milk," ses the policeman. "Funny +smell about 'ere, ain't there?" he ses, sniffing, and turning to the +landlord. "Wot is it?" + +"I dunno," ses the landlord. "I noticed it while we was talking to 'im +at the gate. It seems to foller 'im about." + +"I've smelt things I like better," ses the policeman, sniffing agin. +"It's just like the foreshore when somebody 'as been stirring the mud up +a bit." + +"Unless it's a case of 'tempted suicide," he ses, looking at me very +'ard. + +"Ah!" ses the landlord. + +"There's no mud on 'is clothes," ses the policeman, looking me over with +his lantern agin. + +"He must 'ave gone in naked, but I should like to see 'is legs to make-- +All right! All right! Keep your 'air on." + +"You look arter your own legs, then," I ses, very sharp, "and mind your +own business." + +"It is my business," he ses, turning to the landlord. "Was 'e strange in +his manner at all when 'e was in your place to-night?" + +"He smashed one o' my best glasses," ses the landlord. + +"So he did," ses the policeman. "So he did. I'd forgot that. Do you +know 'im well?" + +"Not more than I can 'elp," ses the landlord. "He's been in my place a +good bit, but I never knew of any reason why 'e should try and do away +with 'imself. If he's been disappointed in love, he ain't told me +anything about it." + +I suppose that couple o' fools 'ud 'ave stood there talking about me all +night if I'd ha' let 'em, but I had about enough of it. + +"Look 'ere," I ses, "you're very clever, both of you, but you needn't +worry your 'eads about me. I've just been having a mud-bath, that's +all." + +"A mud-bath!" ses both of 'em, squeaking like a couple o' silly parrots. + +"For rheumatics," I ses. "I 'ad it some-thing cruel to-night, and I +thought that p'r'aps the mud 'ud do it good. I read about it in the +papers. There's places where you pay pounds and pounds for 'em, but, +being a pore man, I 'ad to 'ave mine on the cheap." + +The policeman stood there looking at me for a moment, and then 'e began +to laugh till he couldn't stop 'imself. + +"Love-a-duck!" he ses, at last, wiping his eyes. "I wish I'd seen it." + +"Must ha' looked like a fat mermaid," ses the landlord, wagging his silly +'ead at me. "I can just see old Bill sitting in the mud a-combing his +'air and singing." + +They 'ad some more talk o' that sort, just to show each other 'ow funny +they was, but they went off at last, and I fastened up the gate and went +into the office to clean myself up as well as I could. One comfort was +they 'adn't got the least idea of wot I was arter, and I 'ad a fancy that +the one as laughed last would be the one as got that twelve quid. + +I was so tired that I slept nearly all day arter I 'ad got 'ome, and I +'ad no sooner got back to the wharf in the evening than I see that the +landlord 'ad been busy. If there was one silly fool that asked me the +best way of making mud-pies, I should think there was fifty. Little +things please little minds, and the silly way some of 'em went on made me +feel sorry for my sects. + +By eight o'clock, 'owever, they 'ad all sheered off, and I got a broom +and began to sweep up to 'elp pass the time away until low-water. On'y +one craft 'ad come up that day--a ketch called the Peewit--and as she was +berthed at the end of the jetty she wasn't in my way at all. + +Her skipper came on to the wharf just afore ten. Fat, silly old man 'e +was, named Fogg. Always talking about 'is 'ealth and taking medicine to +do it good. He came up to me slow like, and, when 'e stopped and asked +me about the rheumatics, the broom shook in my 'and. + +"Look here," I ses, "if you want to be funny, go and be funny with them +as likes it. I'm fair sick of it, so I give you warning." + +"Funny?" he ses, staring at me with eyes like a cow. "Wot d'ye mean? +There's nothing funny about rheumatics; I ought to know; I'm a martyr to +it. Did you find as 'ow the mud did you any good?" + +I looked at 'im hard, but 'e stood there looking at me with his fat baby- +face, and I knew he didn't mean any harm; so I answered 'im perlite and +wished 'im good night. + +"I've 'ad pretty near everything a man can have," he ses, casting anchor +on a empty box, "but I think the rheumatics was about the worst of 'em +all. I even tried bees for it once." + +"Bees!" I ses. "_Bees!_" + +"Bee-stings," he ses. "A man told me that if I could on'y persuade a few +bees to sting me, that 'ud cure me. I don't know what 'e meant by +persuading! they didn't want no persuading. I took off my coat and shirt +and went and rocked one of my neighbour's bee-hives next door, and I +thought my last hour 'ad come." + +He sat on that box and shivered at the memory of it. + +"Now I take Dr. Pepper's pellets instead," he ses. "I've got a box in my +state-room, and if you'd like to try 'em you're welcome." + +He sat there talking about the complaints he had 'ad and wot he 'ad done +for them till I thought I should never have got rid of 'im. He got up at +last, though, and, arter telling me to always wear flannel next to my +skin, climbed aboard and went below. + +I knew the hands was aboard, and arter watching 'is cabin-skylight until +the light was out, I went and undressed. Then I crept back on to the +jetty, and arter listening by the Peewit to make sure that they was all +asleep, I went back and climbed down the ladder. + +It was colder than ever. The cold seemed to get into my bones, but I +made up my mind to 'ave that twelve quid if I died for it. I trod round +and round the place where I 'ad seen that purse chucked in until I was +tired, and the rubbish I picked up by mistake you wouldn't believe. + +I suppose I 'ad been in there arf an hour, and I was standing up with my +teeth clenched to keep them from chattering, when I 'appened to look +round and see something like a white ball coming down the ladder. My +'art seemed to stand still for a moment, and then it began to beat as +though it would burst. The white thing came down lower and lower, and +then all of a sudden it stood in the mud and said, "Ow!" + +"Who is it?" I ses. "Who are you?" "Halloa, Bill!" it ses. "Ain't it +perishing cold?" + +It was the voice o' Cap'n Fogg, and if ever I wanted to kill a fellow- +creetur, I wanted to then. + +"'Ave you been in long, Bill?" he ses. "About ten minutes," I ses, +grinding my teeth. + +"Is it doing you good?" he ses. + +I didn't answer 'im. + +"I was just going off to sleep," he ses, "when I felt a sort of hot pain +in my left knee. O' course, I knew what it meant at once, and instead o' +taking some of the pellets I thought I'd try your remedy instead. It's a +bit nippy, but I don't mind that if it does me good." + +He laughed a silly sort o' laugh, and then I'm blest if 'e didn't sit +down in that mud and waller in it. Then he'd get up and come for'ard two +or three steps and sit down agin. + +"Ain't you sitting down, Bill?" he ses, arter a time. + +"No," I ses, "I'm not." + +"I don't think you can expect to get the full benefit unless you do," he +ses, coming up close to me and sitting down agin. "It's a bit of a shock +at fust, but Halloa!" + +"Wot's up?" I ses. + +"Sitting on something hard," he ses. "I wish people 'ud be more +careful." + +He took a list to port and felt under the star-board side. Then he +brought his 'and up and tried to wipe the mud off and see wot he 'ad got. + +"Wot is it?" I ses, with a nasty sinking sort o' feeling inside me. + +"I don't know," he ses, going on wiping. "It's soft outside and 'ard +inside. It----" + +"Let's 'ave a look at it," I ses, holding out my 'and. + +"It's nothing," he ses, in a queer voice, getting up and steering for the +ladder. "Bit of oyster-shell, I think." + +He was up that ladder hand over fist, with me close behind 'im, and as +soon as he 'ad got on to the wharf started to run to 'is ship. + +"Good night, Bill," he ses, over 'is shoulder. + +"Arf a moment." I ses, follering 'im. + +"I must get aboard," he ses; "I believe I've got a chill," and afore I +could stop 'im he 'ad jumped on and run down to 'is cabin. + +I stood on the jetty for a minute or two, trembling all over with cold +and temper. Then I saw he 'ad got a light in 'is cabin, and I crept +aboard and peeped down the skylight. And I just 'ad time to see some +sovereigns on the table, when he looked up and blew out the light. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dirty Work, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11481 *** |