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diff --git a/old/11479-h.zip b/old/11479-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..734be79 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/11479-h.zip diff --git a/old/11479-h/001.jpg b/old/11479-h/001.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f003e6a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/11479-h/001.jpg diff --git a/old/11479-h/11479-h.htm b/old/11479-h/11479-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..03e1382 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/11479-h/11479-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1158 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"> +<meta content="pg2html (binary version 0.11)" + name="generator"> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of + Deep Waters: THE SUBSTITUTE + by W.W. Jacobs. +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {background:#faebd7} + * { font-family: Times; + } + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 14pt; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; color:#A82C28} + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: Courier, monospaced;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 14pt; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Substitute, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Substitute + Deep Waters, Part 9. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: March 6, 2004 [EBook #11479] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUBSTITUTE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="cover (95K)" src="cover.jpg" height="787" width="632" /> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<h1> + DEEP WATERS +</h1> +<center><h2> + By W.W. JACOBS +</h2></center> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (39K)" src="title.jpg" height="617" width="488" /> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="001 (37K)" src="001.jpg" height="670" width="480" /> +</center> +<br><br> + +<br><br><hr><br><br> + + + + + +<a name="2H_4_9"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h1> + THE SUBSTITUTE +</h1> +<br /><br /> +<p> + The night watchman had just returned to the office fire after leaving it + to attend a ring at the wharf bell. He sat for some time puffing + fiercely at his pipe and breathing heavily. +</p> +<p> + "Boys!" he said, at last. "That's the third time this week, and yet if I + was to catch one and skin 'im alive I suppose I should get into trouble + over it. Even 'is own father and mother would make a fuss, most like. + Some people have boys, and other people 'ave the trouble of 'em. Our + street's full of 'em, and the way they carry on would make a monkey-'ouse + ashamed of itself. The man next door to me's got seven of 'em, and when + I spoke to 'im friendly about it over a pint one night, he put the blame + on 'is wife. +</p> +<p> + "The worst boy I ever knew used to be office-boy in this 'ere office, and + I can't understand now why I wasn't 'ung for him. Undersized little chap + he was, with a face the colour o' bad pie-crust, and two little black + eyes like shoe-buttons. To see 'im with his little white cuffs, and a + stand-up collar, and a little black bow, and a little bowler-'at, was + enough to make a cat laugh. I told 'im so one day, and arter that we + knew where we was. Both of us. +</p> +<p> + "By rights he ought to 'ave left the office at six—just my time for + coming on. As it was, he used to stay late, purtending to work 'ard so + as to get a rise. Arter all the clerks 'ad gorn 'ome he used to sit + perched up on a stool yards too 'igh for him, with one eye on the ledger + and the other looking through the winder at me. I remember once going + off for 'arf a pint, and when I come back I found 'im with a policeman, + two carmen, and all the hands off of the Maid Marian, standing on the + edge of the jetty, waiting for me to come up. He said that, not finding + me on the wharf, 'e made sure that I must 'ave tumbled overboard, as he + felt certain that I wouldn't neglect my dooty while there was breath in + my body; but 'e was sorry to find 'e was mistook. He stood there talking + like a little clergyman, until one of the carmen knocked his 'at over 'is + eyes, and then he forgot 'imself for a bit. +</p> +<p> + "Arter that I used to wait until he 'ad gorn afore I 'ad my arf-pint. I + didn't want my good name taken away, and I had to be careful, and many's + the good arf-pint I 'ad to refuse because that little imitation monkey + was sitting in the office drawing faces on 'is blotting-paper. But + sometimes it don't matter 'ow careful you are, you make a mistake. +</p> +<p> + "There was a little steamer, called the Eastern Monarch, used to come up + here in them days, once a week. Fat little tub she was, with a crew o' + fattish old men, and a skipper that I didn't like. He'd been in the + coasting trade all 'is life, while I've knocked about all over the world, + but to hear 'im talk you'd think he knew more about things than I did. +</p> +<p> + "Eddication, Bill,' he ses one evening, 'that's the thing! You can't + argufy without it; you only talk foolish, like you are doing now.' +</p> +<p> + "'There's eddication and there's common sense,' I ses. 'Some people 'as + one and some people 'as the other. Give me common sense.' +</p> +<p> + "'That's wot you want,' he ses, nodding. +</p> +<p> + "'And, o' course,' I ses, looking at 'im, 'there's some people 'asn't got + either one or the other.' +</p> +<p> + "The office-boy came out of the office afore he could think of an answer, + and the pair of 'em stood there talking to show off their cleverness, + till their tongues ached. I took up my broom and went on sweeping, and + they was so busy talking long words they didn't know the meaning of to + each other that they was arf choked with dust afore they noticed it. + When they did notice it they left off using long words, and the skipper + tried to hurt my feelings with a few short ones 'e knew. +</p> +<p> + "'It's no good wasting your breath on 'im,' ses the boy. 'You might as + well talk to a beer-barrel.' +</p> +<p> + "He went off, dusting 'imself down with his little pocket-'ankercher, and + arter the skipper 'ad told me wot he'd like to do, only he was too sorry + for me to do it, 'e went back to the ship to put on a clean collar, and + went off for the evening. +</p> +<p> + "He always used to go off by hisself of a evening, and I used to wonder + 'ow he passed the time. Then one night I found out. +</p> +<p> + "I had just come out of the Bear's Head, and stopped to look round afore + going back to the wharf, when I see a couple o' people standing on the + swing-bridge saying 'Good-bye' to each other. One of 'em was a man and + the other wasn't. +</p> +<p> + "'Evening, cap'n,' I ses, as he came towards me, and gave a little start. + 'I didn't know you 'ad brought your missis up with you this trip.' +</p> +<p> + "'Evening, Bill,' he ses, very peaceful. 'Wot a lovely evening!' +</p> +<p> + "'Bee-utiful!' I ses. +</p> +<p> + "'So fresh,' ses the skipper, sniffing in some of the air. +</p> +<p> + "'Makes you feel quite young agin,' I ses. +</p> +<p> + "He didn't say nothing to that, except to look at me out of the corner of + 'is eye; and stepping on to the wharf had another look at the sky to + admire it, and then went aboard his ship. If he 'ad only stood me a + pint, and trusted me, things might ha' turned out different. +</p> +<p> + "Quite by chance I happened to be in the Bear's Head a week arterwards, + and, quite by chance, as I came out I saw the skipper saying 'Good-bye' + on the bridge agin. He seemed to be put out about something, and when I + said 'Wot a lovely evening it would be if only it wasn't raining 'ard!' + he said something about knocking my 'ead off. +</p> +<p> + "'And you keep your nose out o' my bisness,' he ses, very fierce. +</p> +<p> + "'Your bisness!' I ses. 'Wot bisness?' +</p> +<p> + "'There's some people as might like to know that you leave the wharf to + look arter itself while you're sitting in a pub swilling gallons and + gallons o' beer,' he ses, in a nasty sort o' way. 'Live and let live, + that's my motter." +</p> +<p> + "'I don't know wot you're talking about,' I ses, 'but it don't matter + anyways. I've got a clear conscience; that's the main thing. I'm as + open as the day, and there's nothing about me that I'd mind anybody + knowing. Wot a pity it is everybody can't say the same!' +</p> +<p> + "I didn't see 'im saying 'Good-bye' the next week or the week arter that + either, but the third week, arter just calling in at the Bear's Head, I + strolled on casual-like and got as far as the bottom of Tower Hill afore + I remembered myself. Turning the corner, I a'most fell over the skipper, + wot was right in the fair way, shaking 'ands with his lady-friend under + the lamp-post. Both of 'em started, and I couldn't make up my mind which + gave me the most unpleasant look. +</p> +<p> + "'Peep-bo!' I ses, cheerful-like. +</p> +<p> + "He stood making a gobbling noise at me, like a turkey. +</p> +<p> + "'Give me quite a start, you did,' I ses. 'I didn't dream of you being + there.' +</p> +<p> + "'Get off!' he ses, spluttering. 'Get off, afore I tear you limb from + limb! 'Ow dare you follow me about and come spying round corners at me? + Wot d'ye mean by it?' +</p> +<p> + "I stood there with my arms folded acrost my chest, as calm as a + cucumber. The other party stood there watching us, and wot 'e could 'ave + seen in her, I can't think. She was dressed more like a man than a + woman, and it would have taken the good looks of twenty like her to 'ave + made one barmaid. I stood looking at 'er like a man in a dream. +</p> +<p> + "'Well, will you know me agin?' she ses, in a nasty cracked sort of + voice. +</p> +<p> + "'I could pick you out of a million,' I ses—'if I wanted to.' +</p> +<p> + "'Clear out!' ses the skipper. 'Clear out! And thank your stars there's + a lady present.' +</p> +<p> + "'Don't take no notice of 'im, Captain Pratt,' ses the lady. 'He's + beneath you. You only encourage people like that by taking notice of + 'em. Good-bye.' +</p> +<p> + "She held out her 'and, and while the skipper was shaking it I began to + walk back to the wharf. I 'adn't gorn far afore I heard 'im coming up + behind me, and next moment 'e was walking alongside and saying things to + try and make me lose my temper. +</p> +<p> + "'Ah, it's a pity your pore missis can't 'ear you!' I ses. 'I expect she + thinks you are stowed away in your bunk dreaming of 'er, instead of + saying things about a face as don't belong to you.' +</p> +<p> + "'You mind your bisness,' he ses, shouting. 'And not so much about my + missis! D'ye hear? Wot's it got to do with you? Who asked you to shove + your oar in?' +</p> +<p> + "'You're quite mistook,' I ses, very calm. 'I'd no idea that there was + anything on as shouldn't be. I was never more surprised in my life. If + anybody 'ad told me, I shouldn't 'ave believed 'em. I couldn't. Knowing + you, and knowing 'ow respectable you 'ave always purtended to be, and + also and likewise that you ain't no chicken——' +</p> +<p> + "I thought 'e was going to 'ave a fit. He 'opped about, waving his arms + and stuttering and going on in such a silly way that I didn't like to be + seen with 'im. Twice he knocked my 'at off, and arter telling him wot + would 'appen if 'e did it agin, I walked off and left him. +</p> +<p> + "Even then 'e wasn't satisfied, and arter coming on to the wharf and + following me up and down like a little dog, he got in front of me and + told me some more things he 'ad thought of. +</p> +<p> + "'If I catch you spying on me agin,' he ses, 'you'll wish you'd never + been born!' +</p> +<p> + "'You get aboard and 'ave a quiet sleep,' I ses. 'You're wandering in + your mind.' +</p> +<p> + "'The lady you saw me with,' he ses, looking at me very fierce, 'is a + friend o' mine that I meet sometimes for the sake of her talk.' +</p> +<p> + "'Talk!' I ses, staring at 'im. 'Talk! Wot, can't one woman talk enough + for you? Is your missis dumb? or wot?' +</p> +<p> + "'You don't understand,' he ses, cocking up 'is nose at me. 'She's a + interleckshal woman; full of eddication and information. When my missis + talks, she talks about the price o' things and says she must 'ave more + money. Or else she talks about things I've done, or sometimes things I + 'aven't done. It's all one to her. There's no pleasure in that sort o' + talk. It don't help a man.' +</p> +<p> + "'I never 'eard of any talk as did,' I ses. +</p> +<p> + "'I don't suppose you did,' he ses, sneering-like. 'Now, to-night, fust + of all, we talked about the House of Lords and whether it ought to be + allowed; and arter that she gave me quite a little lecture on insecks.' +</p> +<p> + "'It don't seem proper to me,' I ses. 'I 'ave spoke to my wife about 'em + once or twice, but I should no more think of talking about such things to + a single lady——' +</p> +<p> + "He began to jump about agin as if I'd bit 'im, and he 'ad so much to say + about my 'ed and blocks of wood that I pretty near lost my temper. I + should ha' lost it with some men, but 'e was a very stiff-built chap and + as hard as nails. +</p> +<p> + "'Beer's your trouble,' he ses, at last. 'Fust of all you put it down, + and then it climbs up and soaks wot little brains you've got. Wot you + want is a kind friend to prevent you from getting it.' +</p> +<p> + "I don't know wot it was, but I 'ad a sort of sinking feeling inside as + 'e spoke, and next evening, when I saw 'im walk to the end of the jetty + with the office-boy and stand there talking to 'im with his 'and on his + shoulder, it came on worse than ever. And I put two and two together + when the guv'nor came up to me next day, and, arter talking about 'dooty' + and 'ow easy it was to get night-watchmen, mentioned in 'a off-'and sort + of way that, if I left the wharf at all between six and six, I could stay + away altogether. +</p> +<p> + "I didn't answer 'im a word. I might ha' told 'im that there was plenty + of people arter me ready to give me double the money, but I knew he could + never get anybody to do their dooty by the wharf like I 'ad done, so I + kept quiet. It's the way I treat my missis nowadays, and it pays; in the + old days I used to waste my breath answering 'er back. +</p> +<p> + "I wouldn't ha' minded so much if it 'adn't ha' been for that boy. He + used to pass me, as 'e went off of a evening, with a little sly smile on + 'is ugly little face, and sometimes when I was standing at the gate he'd + give a sniff or two and say that he could smell beer, and he supposed it + came from the Bear's Head. +</p> +<p> + "It was about three weeks arter the guv'nor 'ad forgot 'imself, and I was + standing by the gate one evening, when I saw a woman coming along + carrying a big bag in her 'and. I 'adn't seen 'er afore, and when she + stopped in front of me and smiled I was on my guard at once. I don't + smile at other people, and I don't expect them to smile at me. +</p> +<p> + "'At last!' she ses, setting down 'er bag and giving me another smile. + 'I thought I was never going to get 'ere." +</p> +<p> + "I coughed and backed inside a little bit on to my own ground. I didn't + want to 'ave that little beast of a office-boy spreading tales about me. +</p> +<p> + "'I've come up to 'ave a little fling,' she ses, smiling away harder than + ever. 'My husband don't know I'm 'ere. He thinks I'm at 'ome.' +</p> +<p> + "I think I went back pretty near three yards. +</p> +<p> + "'I come up by train,' she ses, nodding. +</p> +<p> + "'Yes,' I ses, very severe, 'and wot about going back by it?' +</p> +<p> + "'Oh, I shall go back by ship,' she ses. 'Wot time do you expect the + Eastern Monarch up?' +</p> +<p> + "'Well,' I ses, 'ardly knowing wot to make of 'er, 'she ought to be up + this tide; but there's no reckoning on wot an old washtub with a engine + like a sewing-machine inside 'er will do.' +</p> +<p> + "'Oh, indeed!' she ses, leaving off smiling very sudden. 'Oh, indeed! + My husband might 'ave something to say about that.' +</p> +<p> + "'Your 'usband?' I ses. +</p> +<p> + "'Captain Pratt,' she ses, drawing 'erself up. 'I'm Mrs. Pratt. He left + yesterday morning, and I've come up 'ere by train to give 'im a little + surprise.' +</p> +<p> + "You might ha' knocked me down with a feather, and I stood there staring + at her with my mouth open, trying to think. +</p> +<p> + "'Take care,' I ses at last. 'Take care as you don't give 'im too much + of a surprise!' +</p> +<p> + "'Wot do you mean?' she ses, firing up. +</p> +<p> + "'Nothing,' I ses. 'Nothing, only I've known 'usbands in my time as + didn't like being surprised—that's all. If you take my advice, you'll + go straight back home agin.' +</p> +<p> + "'I'll tell 'im wot you say,' she ses, 'as soon as 'is ship comes in.' +</p> +<p> + "That's a woman all over; the moment they get into a temper they want to + hurt somebody; and I made up my mind at once that, if anybody was going + to be 'urt, it wasn't me. And, besides, I thought it might be for the + skipper's good—in the long run. +</p> +<p> + "I broke it to her as gentle as I could. I didn't tell 'er much, I just + gave her a few 'ints. Just enough to make her ask for more. +</p> +<p> + "'And mind,' I ses, 'I don't want to be brought into it. If you should + 'appen to take a fancy into your 'ed to wait behind a pile of empties + till the ship comes in, and then slip out and foller your 'usband and + give 'im the little surprise you spoke of, it's nothing to do with me.' +</p> +<p> + "'I understand,' she ses, biting her lip. 'There's no need for 'im to + know that I've been on the wharf at all.' +</p> +<p> + "I gave 'er a smile—I thought she deserved it—but she didn't smile + back. She was rather a nice-looking woman in the ordinary way, but I + could easy see 'ow temper spoils a woman's looks. She stood there giving + little shivers and looking as if she wanted to bite somebody. +</p> +<p> + "'I'll go and hide now,' she ses. +</p> +<p> + "'Not yet,' I ses. 'You'll 'ave to wait till that little blackbeetle in + the office 'as gorn.' 'Blackbeetle?' she ses, staring. +</p> +<p> + "'Office-boy,' I ses. 'He'd better not see you at all. S'pose you go + off for a bit and come back when I whistle?' +</p> +<p> + "Afore she could answer the boy came out of the office, ready to go 'ome. + He gave a little bit of a start when 'e saw me talking to a lady, and + then 'e nips down sudden, about a couple o' yards away, and begins to do + 'is bootlace up. It took 'im some time, because he 'ad to undo it fust, + but 'e finished it at last, and arter a quick look at Mrs. Pratt, and one + at me that I could ha' smacked his 'ed for, 'e went off whistling and + showing 'is little cuffs. +</p> +<p> + "I stepped out into the road and watched 'im out o' sight. Then I told + Mrs. Pratt to pick up 'er bag and foller me. +</p> +<p> + "As it 'appened there was a big pile of empties in the corner of the + ware'ouse wall, just opposite the Eastern Monarch's berth. It might ha' + been made for the job, and, arter I 'ad tucked her away behind and given + 'er a box to sit on, I picked up my broom and began to make up for lost + time. +</p> +<p> + "She sat there as quiet as a cat watching a mouse'ole, and I was going on + with my work, stopping every now and then to look and see whether the + Monarch was in sight, when I 'appened to turn round and see the office- + boy standing on the edge of the wharf with his back to the empties, + looking down at the water. I nearly dropped my broom. +</p> +<p> + "''Ullo!' I ses, going up to 'im. 'I thought you 'ad gorn 'ome.' +</p> +<p> + "'I was going,' he ses, with a nasty oily little smile, 'and then it + struck me all of a sudden 'ow lonely it was for you all alone 'ere, and I + come back to keep you company.' +</p> +<p> + "He winked at something acrost the river as 'e spoke, and I stood there + thinking my 'ardest wot was the best thing to be done. I couldn't get + Mrs. Pratt away while 'e was there; besides which I felt quite sartain + she wouldn't go. The only 'ope I 'ad was that he'd get tired of spying + on me and go away before he found out she was 'iding on the wharf. +</p> +<p> + "I walked off in a unconcerned way—not too far—and, with one eye on 'im + and the other on where Mrs. Pratt was 'iding, went on with my work. + There's nothing like 'ard work when a man is worried, and I was a'most + forgetting my troubles, when I looked up and saw the Monarch coming up + the river. +</p> +<p> + "She turned to come into 'er berth, with the skipper shouting away on the + bridge and making as much fuss as if 'e was berthing a liner. I helped + to make 'er fast, and the skipper, arter 'e had 'ad a good look round to + see wot 'e could find fault with, went below to clean 'imself. +</p> +<p> + "He was up agin in about ten minutes, with a clean collar and a clean + face, and a blue neck-tie that looked as though it 'ad got yeller + measles. Good temper 'e was in, too, and arter pulling the office-boy's + ear, gentle, as 'e was passing, he stopped for a moment to 'ave a word + with 'im. +</p> +<p> + "'Bit late, ain't you?' he ses. +</p> +<p> + "'I've been keeping a eye on the watchman,' ses the boy. 'He works + better when 'e knows there's somebody watching 'im.' +</p> +<p> + "'Look 'ere!' I ses. 'You take yourself off; I've had about enough of + you. You take your little face 'ome and ask your mother to wipe its + nose. Strickly speaking, you've no right to be on the wharf at all at + this time.' +</p> +<p> + "'I've as much right as other people,' he ses, giving me a wicked look. + 'I've got more right than some people, p'r'aps.' +</p> +<p> + "He stooped down deliberate and, picking up a bit o' coke from the 'eap + by the crane, pitched it over at the empties. +</p> +<p> + "'Stop that!' I ses, shouting at 'im. +</p> +<p> + "'What for?' 'e ses, shying another piece. 'Why shouldn't I?' +</p> +<p> + "'Cos I won't 'ave it,' I ses. 'D'ye hear? Stop it!' +</p> +<p> + "I rushed at 'im as he sent another piece over, and for the next two or + three minutes 'e was dodging me and chucking coke at the empties, with + the fool of a skipper standing by laughing, and two or three of the crew + leaning over the side and cheering 'im on. +</p> +<p> + "'All right,' he ses, at last, dusting 'is hands together. 'I've + finished. There's no need to make such a fuss over a bit of coke.' +</p> +<p> + "'You've wasted pretty near arf a 'undered-weight,' I ses. 'I've a good + mind to report you.' +</p> +<p> + "'Don't do that, watchman!' he ses, in a pitiful voice. 'Don't do that! + 'Ere, I tell you wot I'll do. I'll pick it all up agin.' +</p> +<p> + "Afore I could move 'and or foot he 'ad shifted a couple o' cases out of + 'is way and was in among the empties. I stood there dazed-like while two + bits o' coke came flying back past my 'ed; then I 'eard a loud whistle, + and 'e came out agin with 'is eyes rolling and 'is mouth wide open. +</p> +<p> + "'Wot's the matter?' ses the skipper, staring at 'im. +</p> +<p> + "'I—I—I'm sorry, watchman,' ses that beast of a boy, purtending 'e was + 'ardly able to speak. 'I'd no idea——' +</p> +<p> + "'All right,' I ses, very quick. +</p> +<p> + "'Wot's the matter?' ses the skipper agin; and as 'e spoke it came over + me like a flash wot a false persition I was in, and wot a nasty-tempered + man 'e could be when 'e liked. +</p> +<p> + "'Why didn't you tell me you'd got a lady-friend there?' ses the boy, + shaking his 'ed at me. 'Why, I might 'ave hit 'er with a bit o' coke, + and never forgiven myself!' +</p> +<p> + "'Lady-friend!' ses the skipper, with a start. 'Oh, Bill, I am + surprised!' +</p> +<p> + "My throat was so dry I couldn't 'ardly speak. 'It's my missis,' I ses, + at last. +</p> +<p> + "'Your missis?' ses the skipper. 'Woes she 'iding behind there for?' +</p> +<p> + "'She—she's shy,' I ses. 'Always was, all 'er life. She can't bear + other people. She likes to be alone with me.' +</p> +<p> + "'Oh, watchman!' ses the boy. 'I wonder where you expect to go to?' +</p> +<p> + "'Missis my grandmother!' ses the skipper, with a wink. 'I'm going to + 'ave a peep.' +</p> +<p> + "'Stand back!' I ses, pushing 'im off. 'I don't spy on you, and I don't + want you to come spying on me. You get off! D'ye hear me? Get off!' +</p> +<p> + "We had a bit of a struggle, till my foot slipped, and while I was waving + my arms and trying to get my balance back 'e made a dash for the empties. + Next moment he was roaring like a mad bull that 'ad sat down in a + sorsepan of boiling water, and rushing back agin to kill me. +</p> +<p> + "I believe that if it 'adn't ha' been for a couple o' lightermen wot 'ad + just come on to the jetty from their skiff, and two of his own 'ands, + he'd ha' done it. Crazy with passion 'e was, and it was all the four of + 'em could do to hold 'im. Every now and then he'd get a yard nearer to + me, and then they'd pull 'im back a couple o' yards and beg of 'im to + listen to reason and 'ear wot I 'ad to say. And as soon as I started and + began to tell 'em about 'is lady-friend he broke out worse than ever. + People acrost the river must ha' wondered wot was 'appening. There was + two lightermen, two sailormen, me and the skipper, and Mrs. Pratt all + talking at once, and nobody listening but the office-boy. And in the + middle of it all the wicket was pushed open and the 'ed of the lady wot + all the trouble was about peeped in, and drew back agin. +</p> +<p> + "'There you are!' I ses, shouting my 'ardest. 'There she is. That's the + lady I was telling you about. Now, then: put 'em face to face and clear + my character. Don't let 'er escape.' +</p> +<p> + "One o' the lightermen let go o' the skipper and went arter 'er, and, + just as I was giving the other three a helping 'and, 'e came back with + 'er. Mrs. Pratt caught 'er breath, and as for the skipper, 'e didn't + know where to look, as the saying is. I just saw the lady give 'im one + quick look, and then afore I could dream of wot was coming, she rushes up + to me and flings 'er long, bony arms round my neck. +</p> +<p> + "'Why, William!' she ses, 'wot's the matter? Why didn't you meet me? + Didn't you get my letter? Or 'ave you ceased to care for me?" +</p> +<p> + "'Let go!' I ses, struggling. 'Let go! D'ye 'ear? Wot d'ye mean by it? + You've got 'old of the wrong one.' +</p> +<p> + "'Oh, 'William!' she ses, arf strangling me. ''Ow can you talk to me like + that? Where's your 'art?' +</p> +<p> + "I never knew a woman so strong. I don't suppose she'd ever 'ad the + chance of getting 'er arms round a man's neck afore, and she hung on to + me as if she'd never let go. And all the time I was trying to explain + things to them over 'er shoulder I could see they didn't believe a word I + was saying. One o' the lightermen said I was a 'wonder,' and the other + said I was a 'fair cough-drop.' Me! +</p> +<p> + "She got tired of it at last, but by that time I was so done up I + couldn't say a word. I just dropped on to a box and sat there getting my + breath back while the skipper forgave 'is wife for 'er unjust suspicions + of 'im—but told 'er not to do it agin—and the office-boy was saying I'd + surprised even 'im. The last I saw of the lady-friend, the two + lightermen was helping 'er to walk to the gate, and the two sailormen was + follering 'er up behind, carrying 'er pocket-'ankercher and upberella." +</p> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Substitute, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUBSTITUTE *** + +***** This file should be named 11479-h.htm or 11479-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/1/4/7/11479/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Substitute + Deep Waters, Part 9. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: March 6, 2004 [EBook #11479] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUBSTITUTE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + +DEEP WATERS + +By W.W. JACOBS + + + + +THE SUBSTITUTE + +The night watchman had just returned to the office fire after leaving it +to attend a ring at the wharf bell. He sat for some time puffing +fiercely at his pipe and breathing heavily. + +"Boys!" he said, at last. "That's the third time this week, and yet if I +was to catch one and skin 'im alive I suppose I should get into trouble +over it. Even 'is own father and mother would make a fuss, most like. +Some people have boys, and other people 'ave the trouble of 'em. Our +street's full of 'em, and the way they carry on would make a monkey-'ouse +ashamed of itself. The man next door to me's got seven of 'em, and when +I spoke to 'im friendly about it over a pint one night, he put the blame +on 'is wife. + +"The worst boy I ever knew used to be office-boy in this 'ere office, and +I can't understand now why I wasn't 'ung for him. Undersized little chap +he was, with a face the colour o' bad pie-crust, and two little black +eyes like shoe-buttons. To see 'im with his little white cuffs, and a +stand-up collar, and a little black bow, and a little bowler-'at, was +enough to make a cat laugh. I told 'im so one day, and arter that we +knew where we was. Both of us. + +"By rights he ought to 'ave left the office at six--just my time for +coming on. As it was, he used to stay late, purtending to work 'ard so +as to get a rise. Arter all the clerks 'ad gorn 'ome he used to sit +perched up on a stool yards too 'igh for him, with one eye on the ledger +and the other looking through the winder at me. I remember once going +off for 'arf a pint, and when I come back I found 'im with a policeman, +two carmen, and all the hands off of the Maid Marian, standing on the +edge of the jetty, waiting for me to come up. He said that, not finding +me on the wharf, 'e made sure that I must 'ave tumbled overboard, as he +felt certain that I wouldn't neglect my dooty while there was breath in +my body; but 'e was sorry to find 'e was mistook. He stood there talking +like a little clergyman, until one of the carmen knocked his 'at over 'is +eyes, and then he forgot 'imself for a bit. + +"Arter that I used to wait until he 'ad gorn afore I 'ad my arf-pint. I +didn't want my good name taken away, and I had to be careful, and many's +the good arf-pint I 'ad to refuse because that little imitation monkey +was sitting in the office drawing faces on 'is blotting-paper. But +sometimes it don't matter 'ow careful you are, you make a mistake. + +"There was a little steamer, called the Eastern Monarch, used to come up +here in them days, once a week. Fat little tub she was, with a crew o' +fattish old men, and a skipper that I didn't like. He'd been in the +coasting trade all 'is life, while I've knocked about all over the world, +but to hear 'im talk you'd think he knew more about things than I did. + +"Eddication, Bill,' he ses one evening, 'that's the thing! You can't +argufy without it; you only talk foolish, like you are doing now.' + +"'There's eddication and there's common sense,' I ses. 'Some people 'as +one and some people 'as the other. Give me common sense.' + +"'That's wot you want,' he ses, nodding. + +"'And, o' course,' I ses, looking at 'im, 'there's some people 'asn't got +either one or the other.' + +"The office-boy came out of the office afore he could think of an answer, +and the pair of 'em stood there talking to show off their cleverness, +till their tongues ached. I took up my broom and went on sweeping, and +they was so busy talking long words they didn't know the meaning of to +each other that they was arf choked with dust afore they noticed it. +When they did notice it they left off using long words, and the skipper +tried to hurt my feelings with a few short ones 'e knew. + +"'It's no good wasting your breath on 'im,' ses the boy. 'You might as +well talk to a beer-barrel.' + +"He went off, dusting 'imself down with his little pocket-'ankercher, and +arter the skipper 'ad told me wot he'd like to do, only he was too sorry +for me to do it, 'e went back to the ship to put on a clean collar, and +went off for the evening. + +"He always used to go off by hisself of a evening, and I used to wonder +'ow he passed the time. Then one night I found out. + +"I had just come out of the Bear's Head, and stopped to look round afore +going back to the wharf, when I see a couple o' people standing on the +swing-bridge saying 'Good-bye' to each other. One of 'em was a man and +the other wasn't. + +"'Evening, cap'n,' I ses, as he came towards me, and gave a little start. +'I didn't know you 'ad brought your missis up with you this trip.' + +"'Evening, Bill,' he ses, very peaceful. 'Wot a lovely evening!' + +"'Bee-utiful!' I ses. + +"'So fresh,' ses the skipper, sniffing in some of the air. + +"'Makes you feel quite young agin,' I ses. + +"He didn't say nothing to that, except to look at me out of the corner of +'is eye; and stepping on to the wharf had another look at the sky to +admire it, and then went aboard his ship. If he 'ad only stood me a +pint, and trusted me, things might ha' turned out different. + +"Quite by chance I happened to be in the Bear's Head a week arterwards, +and, quite by chance, as I came out I saw the skipper saying 'Good-bye' +on the bridge agin. He seemed to be put out about something, and when I +said 'Wot a lovely evening it would be if only it wasn't raining 'ard!' +he said something about knocking my 'ead off. + +"'And you keep your nose out o' my bisness,' he ses, very fierce. + +"'Your bisness!' I ses. 'Wot bisness?' + +"'There's some people as might like to know that you leave the wharf to +look arter itself while you're sitting in a pub swilling gallons and +gallons o' beer,' he ses, in a nasty sort o' way. 'Live and let live, +that's my motter." + +"'I don't know wot you're talking about,' I ses, 'but it don't matter +anyways. I've got a clear conscience; that's the main thing. I'm as +open as the day, and there's nothing about me that I'd mind anybody +knowing. Wot a pity it is everybody can't say the same!' + +"I didn't see 'im saying 'Good-bye' the next week or the week arter that +either, but the third week, arter just calling in at the Bear's Head, I +strolled on casual-like and got as far as the bottom of Tower Hill afore +I remembered myself. Turning the corner, I a'most fell over the skipper, +wot was right in the fair way, shaking 'ands with his lady-friend under +the lamp-post. Both of 'em started, and I couldn't make up my mind which +gave me the most unpleasant look. + +"'Peep-bo!' I ses, cheerful-like. + +"He stood making a gobbling noise at me, like a turkey. + +"'Give me quite a start, you did,' I ses. 'I didn't dream of you being +there.' + +"'Get off!' he ses, spluttering. 'Get off, afore I tear you limb from +limb! 'Ow dare you follow me about and come spying round corners at me? +Wot d'ye mean by it?' + +"I stood there with my arms folded acrost my chest, as calm as a +cucumber. The other party stood there watching us, and wot 'e could 'ave +seen in her, I can't think. She was dressed more like a man than a +woman, and it would have taken the good looks of twenty like her to 'ave +made one barmaid. I stood looking at 'er like a man in a dream. + +"'Well, will you know me agin?' she ses, in a nasty cracked sort of +voice. + +"'I could pick you out of a million,' I ses--'if I wanted to.' + +"'Clear out!' ses the skipper. 'Clear out! And thank your stars there's +a lady present.' + +"'Don't take no notice of 'im, Captain Pratt,' ses the lady. 'He's +beneath you. You only encourage people like that by taking notice of +'em. Good-bye.' + +"She held out her 'and, and while the skipper was shaking it I began to +walk back to the wharf. I 'adn't gorn far afore I heard 'im coming up +behind me, and next moment 'e was walking alongside and saying things to +try and make me lose my temper. + +"'Ah, it's a pity your pore missis can't 'ear you!' I ses. 'I expect she +thinks you are stowed away in your bunk dreaming of 'er, instead of +saying things about a face as don't belong to you.' + +"'You mind your bisness,' he ses, shouting. 'And not so much about my +missis! D'ye hear? Wot's it got to do with you? Who asked you to shove +your oar in?' + +"'You're quite mistook,' I ses, very calm. 'I'd no idea that there was +anything on as shouldn't be. I was never more surprised in my life. If +anybody 'ad told me, I shouldn't 'ave believed 'em. I couldn't. Knowing +you, and knowing 'ow respectable you 'ave always purtended to be, and +also and likewise that you ain't no chicken----' + +"I thought 'e was going to 'ave a fit. He 'opped about, waving his arms +and stuttering and going on in such a silly way that I didn't like to be +seen with 'im. Twice he knocked my 'at off, and arter telling him wot +would 'appen if 'e did it agin, I walked off and left him. + +"Even then 'e wasn't satisfied, and arter coming on to the wharf and +following me up and down like a little dog, he got in front of me and +told me some more things he 'ad thought of. + +"'If I catch you spying on me agin,' he ses, 'you'll wish you'd never +been born!' + +"'You get aboard and 'ave a quiet sleep,' I ses. 'You're wandering in +your mind.' + +"'The lady you saw me with,' he ses, looking at me very fierce, 'is a +friend o' mine that I meet sometimes for the sake of her talk.' + +"'Talk!' I ses, staring at 'im. 'Talk! Wot, can't one woman talk enough +for you? Is your missis dumb? or wot?' + +"'You don't understand,' he ses, cocking up 'is nose at me. 'She's a +interleckshal woman; full of eddication and information. When my missis +talks, she talks about the price o' things and says she must 'ave more +money. Or else she talks about things I've done, or sometimes things I +'aven't done. It's all one to her. There's no pleasure in that sort o' +talk. It don't help a man.' + +"'I never 'eard of any talk as did,' I ses. + +"'I don't suppose you did,' he ses, sneering-like. 'Now, to-night, fust +of all, we talked about the House of Lords and whether it ought to be +allowed; and arter that she gave me quite a little lecture on insecks.' + +"'It don't seem proper to me,' I ses. 'I 'ave spoke to my wife about 'em +once or twice, but I should no more think of talking about such things to +a single lady----' + +"He began to jump about agin as if I'd bit 'im, and he 'ad so much to say +about my 'ed and blocks of wood that I pretty near lost my temper. I +should ha' lost it with some men, but 'e was a very stiff-built chap and +as hard as nails. + +"'Beer's your trouble,' he ses, at last. 'Fust of all you put it down, +and then it climbs up and soaks wot little brains you've got. Wot you +want is a kind friend to prevent you from getting it.' + +"I don't know wot it was, but I 'ad a sort of sinking feeling inside as +'e spoke, and next evening, when I saw 'im walk to the end of the jetty +with the office-boy and stand there talking to 'im with his 'and on his +shoulder, it came on worse than ever. And I put two and two together +when the guv'nor came up to me next day, and, arter talking about 'dooty' +and 'ow easy it was to get night-watchmen, mentioned in 'a off-'and sort +of way that, if I left the wharf at all between six and six, I could stay +away altogether. + +"I didn't answer 'im a word. I might ha' told 'im that there was plenty +of people arter me ready to give me double the money, but I knew he could +never get anybody to do their dooty by the wharf like I 'ad done, so I +kept quiet. It's the way I treat my missis nowadays, and it pays; in the +old days I used to waste my breath answering 'er back. + +"I wouldn't ha' minded so much if it 'adn't ha' been for that boy. He +used to pass me, as 'e went off of a evening, with a little sly smile on +'is ugly little face, and sometimes when I was standing at the gate he'd +give a sniff or two and say that he could smell beer, and he supposed it +came from the Bear's Head. + +"It was about three weeks arter the guv'nor 'ad forgot 'imself, and I was +standing by the gate one evening, when I saw a woman coming along +carrying a big bag in her 'and. I 'adn't seen 'er afore, and when she +stopped in front of me and smiled I was on my guard at once. I don't +smile at other people, and I don't expect them to smile at me. + +"'At last!' she ses, setting down 'er bag and giving me another smile. +'I thought I was never going to get 'ere." + +"I coughed and backed inside a little bit on to my own ground. I didn't +want to 'ave that little beast of a office-boy spreading tales about me. + +"'I've come up to 'ave a little fling,' she ses, smiling away harder than +ever. 'My husband don't know I'm 'ere. He thinks I'm at 'ome.' + +"I think I went back pretty near three yards. + +"'I come up by train,' she ses, nodding. + +"'Yes,' I ses, very severe, 'and wot about going back by it?' + +"'Oh, I shall go back by ship,' she ses. 'Wot time do you expect the +Eastern Monarch up?' + +"'Well,' I ses, 'ardly knowing wot to make of 'er, 'she ought to be up +this tide; but there's no reckoning on wot an old washtub with a engine +like a sewing-machine inside 'er will do.' + +"'Oh, indeed!' she ses, leaving off smiling very sudden. 'Oh, indeed! +My husband might 'ave something to say about that.' + +"'Your 'usband?' I ses. + +"'Captain Pratt,' she ses, drawing 'erself up. 'I'm Mrs. Pratt. He left +yesterday morning, and I've come up 'ere by train to give 'im a little +surprise.' + +"You might ha' knocked me down with a feather, and I stood there staring +at her with my mouth open, trying to think. + +"'Take care,' I ses at last. 'Take care as you don't give 'im too much +of a surprise!' + +"'Wot do you mean?' she ses, firing up. + +"'Nothing,' I ses. 'Nothing, only I've known 'usbands in my time as +didn't like being surprised--that's all. If you take my advice, you'll +go straight back home agin.' + +"'I'll tell 'im wot you say,' she ses, 'as soon as 'is ship comes in.' + +"That's a woman all over; the moment they get into a temper they want to +hurt somebody; and I made up my mind at once that, if anybody was going +to be 'urt, it wasn't me. And, besides, I thought it might be for the +skipper's good--in the long run. + +"I broke it to her as gentle as I could. I didn't tell 'er much, I just +gave her a few 'ints. Just enough to make her ask for more. + +"'And mind,' I ses, 'I don't want to be brought into it. If you should +'appen to take a fancy into your 'ed to wait behind a pile of empties +till the ship comes in, and then slip out and foller your 'usband and +give 'im the little surprise you spoke of, it's nothing to do with me.' + +"'I understand,' she ses, biting her lip. 'There's no need for 'im to +know that I've been on the wharf at all.' + +"I gave 'er a smile--I thought she deserved it--but she didn't smile +back. She was rather a nice-looking woman in the ordinary way, but I +could easy see 'ow temper spoils a woman's looks. She stood there giving +little shivers and looking as if she wanted to bite somebody. + +"'I'll go and hide now,' she ses. + +"'Not yet,' I ses. 'You'll 'ave to wait till that little blackbeetle in +the office 'as gorn.' 'Blackbeetle?' she ses, staring. + +"'Office-boy,' I ses. 'He'd better not see you at all. S'pose you go +off for a bit and come back when I whistle?' + +"Afore she could answer the boy came out of the office, ready to go 'ome. +He gave a little bit of a start when 'e saw me talking to a lady, and +then 'e nips down sudden, about a couple o' yards away, and begins to do +'is bootlace up. It took 'im some time, because he 'ad to undo it fust, +but 'e finished it at last, and arter a quick look at Mrs. Pratt, and one +at me that I could ha' smacked his 'ed for, 'e went off whistling and +showing 'is little cuffs. + +"I stepped out into the road and watched 'im out o' sight. Then I told +Mrs. Pratt to pick up 'er bag and foller me. + +"As it 'appened there was a big pile of empties in the corner of the +ware'ouse wall, just opposite the Eastern Monarch's berth. It might ha' +been made for the job, and, arter I 'ad tucked her away behind and given +'er a box to sit on, I picked up my broom and began to make up for lost +time. + +"She sat there as quiet as a cat watching a mouse'ole, and I was going on +with my work, stopping every now and then to look and see whether the +Monarch was in sight, when I 'appened to turn round and see the office- +boy standing on the edge of the wharf with his back to the empties, +looking down at the water. I nearly dropped my broom. + +"''Ullo!' I ses, going up to 'im. 'I thought you 'ad gorn 'ome.' + +"'I was going,' he ses, with a nasty oily little smile, 'and then it +struck me all of a sudden 'ow lonely it was for you all alone 'ere, and I +come back to keep you company.' + +"He winked at something acrost the river as 'e spoke, and I stood there +thinking my 'ardest wot was the best thing to be done. I couldn't get +Mrs. Pratt away while 'e was there; besides which I felt quite sartain +she wouldn't go. The only 'ope I 'ad was that he'd get tired of spying +on me and go away before he found out she was 'iding on the wharf. + +"I walked off in a unconcerned way--not too far--and, with one eye on 'im +and the other on where Mrs. Pratt was 'iding, went on with my work. +There's nothing like 'ard work when a man is worried, and I was a'most +forgetting my troubles, when I looked up and saw the Monarch coming up +the river. + +"She turned to come into 'er berth, with the skipper shouting away on the +bridge and making as much fuss as if 'e was berthing a liner. I helped +to make 'er fast, and the skipper, arter 'e had 'ad a good look round to +see wot 'e could find fault with, went below to clean 'imself. + +"He was up agin in about ten minutes, with a clean collar and a clean +face, and a blue neck-tie that looked as though it 'ad got yeller +measles. Good temper 'e was in, too, and arter pulling the office-boy's +ear, gentle, as 'e was passing, he stopped for a moment to 'ave a word +with 'im. + +"'Bit late, ain't you?' he ses. + +"'I've been keeping a eye on the watchman,' ses the boy. 'He works +better when 'e knows there's somebody watching 'im.' + +"'Look 'ere!' I ses. 'You take yourself off; I've had about enough of +you. You take your little face 'ome and ask your mother to wipe its +nose. Strickly speaking, you've no right to be on the wharf at all at +this time.' + +"'I've as much right as other people,' he ses, giving me a wicked look. +'I've got more right than some people, p'r'aps.' + +"He stooped down deliberate and, picking up a bit o' coke from the 'eap +by the crane, pitched it over at the empties. + +"'Stop that!' I ses, shouting at 'im. + +"'What for?' 'e ses, shying another piece. 'Why shouldn't I?' + +"'Cos I won't 'ave it,' I ses. 'D'ye hear? Stop it!' + +"I rushed at 'im as he sent another piece over, and for the next two or +three minutes 'e was dodging me and chucking coke at the empties, with +the fool of a skipper standing by laughing, and two or three of the crew +leaning over the side and cheering 'im on. + +"'All right,' he ses, at last, dusting 'is hands together. 'I've +finished. There's no need to make such a fuss over a bit of coke.' + +"'You've wasted pretty near arf a 'undered-weight,' I ses. 'I've a good +mind to report you.' + +"'Don't do that, watchman!' he ses, in a pitiful voice. 'Don't do that! +'Ere, I tell you wot I'll do. I'll pick it all up agin.' + +"Afore I could move 'and or foot he 'ad shifted a couple o' cases out of +'is way and was in among the empties. I stood there dazed-like while two +bits o' coke came flying back past my 'ed; then I 'eard a loud whistle, +and 'e came out agin with 'is eyes rolling and 'is mouth wide open. + +"'Wot's the matter?' ses the skipper, staring at 'im. + +"'I--I--I'm sorry, watchman,' ses that beast of a boy, purtending 'e was +'ardly able to speak. 'I'd no idea----' + +"'All right,' I ses, very quick. + +"'Wot's the matter?' ses the skipper agin; and as 'e spoke it came over +me like a flash wot a false persition I was in, and wot a nasty-tempered +man 'e could be when 'e liked. + +"'Why didn't you tell me you'd got a lady-friend there?' ses the boy, +shaking his 'ed at me. 'Why, I might 'ave hit 'er with a bit o' coke, +and never forgiven myself!' + +"'Lady-friend!' ses the skipper, with a start. 'Oh, Bill, I am +surprised!' + +"My throat was so dry I couldn't 'ardly speak. 'It's my missis,' I ses, +at last. + +"'Your missis?' ses the skipper. 'Woes she 'iding behind there for?' + +"'She--she's shy,' I ses. 'Always was, all 'er life. She can't bear +other people. She likes to be alone with me.' + +"'Oh, watchman!' ses the boy. 'I wonder where you expect to go to?' + +"'Missis my grandmother!' ses the skipper, with a wink. 'I'm going to +'ave a peep.' + +"'Stand back!' I ses, pushing 'im off. 'I don't spy on you, and I don't +want you to come spying on me. You get off! D'ye hear me? Get off!' + +"We had a bit of a struggle, till my foot slipped, and while I was waving +my arms and trying to get my balance back 'e made a dash for the empties. +Next moment he was roaring like a mad bull that 'ad sat down in a +sorsepan of boiling water, and rushing back agin to kill me. + +"I believe that if it 'adn't ha' been for a couple o' lightermen wot 'ad +just come on to the jetty from their skiff, and two of his own 'ands, +he'd ha' done it. Crazy with passion 'e was, and it was all the four of +'em could do to hold 'im. Every now and then he'd get a yard nearer to +me, and then they'd pull 'im back a couple o' yards and beg of 'im to +listen to reason and 'ear wot I 'ad to say. And as soon as I started and +began to tell 'em about 'is lady-friend he broke out worse than ever. +People acrost the river must ha' wondered wot was 'appening. There was +two lightermen, two sailormen, me and the skipper, and Mrs. Pratt all +talking at once, and nobody listening but the office-boy. And in the +middle of it all the wicket was pushed open and the 'ed of the lady wot +all the trouble was about peeped in, and drew back agin. + +"'There you are!' I ses, shouting my 'ardest. 'There she is. That's the +lady I was telling you about. Now, then: put 'em face to face and clear +my character. Don't let 'er escape.' + +"One o' the lightermen let go o' the skipper and went arter 'er, and, +just as I was giving the other three a helping 'and, 'e came back with +'er. Mrs. Pratt caught 'er breath, and as for the skipper, 'e didn't +know where to look, as the saying is. I just saw the lady give 'im one +quick look, and then afore I could dream of wot was coming, she rushes up +to me and flings 'er long, bony arms round my neck. + +"'Why, William!' she ses, 'wot's the matter? Why didn't you meet me? +Didn't you get my letter? Or 'ave you ceased to care for me?" + +"'Let go!' I ses, struggling. 'Let go! D'ye 'ear? Wot d'ye mean by it? +You've got 'old of the wrong one.' + +"'Oh, 'William!' she ses, arf strangling me. ''Ow can you talk to me like +that? Where's your 'art?' + +"I never knew a woman so strong. I don't suppose she'd ever 'ad the +chance of getting 'er arms round a man's neck afore, and she hung on to +me as if she'd never let go. And all the time I was trying to explain +things to them over 'er shoulder I could see they didn't believe a word I +was saying. One o' the lightermen said I was a 'wonder,' and the other +said I was a 'fair cough-drop.' Me! + +"She got tired of it at last, but by that time I was so done up I +couldn't say a word. I just dropped on to a box and sat there getting my +breath back while the skipper forgave 'is wife for 'er unjust suspicions +of 'im--but told 'er not to do it agin--and the office-boy was saying I'd +surprised even 'im. The last I saw of the lady-friend, the two +lightermen was helping 'er to walk to the gate, and the two sailormen was +follering 'er up behind, carrying 'er pocket-'ankercher and upberella." + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Substitute, by W.W. 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