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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11476 ***
+
+DEEP WATERS
+
+By W.W. JACOBS
+
+
+
+
+HUSBANDRY
+
+Dealing with a man, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully, is as easy as
+a teetotaller walking along a nice wide pavement; dealing with a woman is
+like the same teetotaller, arter four or five whiskies, trying to get up
+a step that ain't there.  If a man can't get 'is own way he eases 'is
+mind with a little nasty language, and then forgets all about it; if a
+woman can't get 'er own way she flies into a temper and reminds you of
+something you oughtn't to ha' done ten years ago.  Wot a woman would do
+whose 'usband had never done anything wrong I can't think.
+
+I remember a young feller telling me about a row he 'ad with 'is wife
+once.  He 'adn't been married long and he talked as if the way she
+carried on was unusual.  Fust of all, he said, she spoke to 'im in a
+cooing sort o' voice and pulled his moustache, then when he wouldn't give
+way she worked herself up into a temper and said things about 'is sister.
+Arter which she went out o' the room and banged the door so hard it blew
+down a vase off the fireplace.  Four times she came back to tell 'im
+other things she 'ad thought of, and then she got so upset she 'ad to go
+up to bed and lay down instead of getting his tea.  When that didn't do
+no good she refused her food, and when 'e took her up toast and tea she
+wouldn't look at it.  Said she wanted to die.  He got quite uneasy till
+'e came 'ome the next night and found the best part of a loaf o' bread, a
+quarter o' butter, and a couple o' chops he 'ad got in for 'is supper had
+gorn; and then when he said 'e was glad she 'ad got 'er appetite back she
+turned round and said that he grudged 'er the food she ate.
+
+And no woman ever owned up as 'ow she was wrong; and the more you try and
+prove it to 'em the louder they talk about something else.  I know wot
+I'm talking about because a woman made a mistake about me once, and
+though she was proved to be in the wrong, and it was years ago, my missus
+shakes her 'ead about it to this day.
+
+It was about eight years arter I 'ad left off going to sea and took up
+night-watching.  A beautiful summer evening it was, and I was sitting by
+the gate smoking a pipe till it should be time to light up, when I
+noticed a woman who 'ad just passed turn back and stand staring at me.
+I've 'ad that sort o' thing before, and I went on smoking and looking
+straight in front of me.  Fat middle-aged woman she was, wot 'ad lost her
+good looks and found others.  She stood there staring and staring, and by
+and by she tries a little cough.
+
+I got up very slow then, and, arter looking all round at the evening,
+without seeing 'er, I was just going to step inside and shut the wicket,
+when she came closer.
+
+"Bill!" she ses, in a choking sort o' voice.
+
+"Bill!"
+
+I gave her a look that made her catch 'er breath, and I was just stepping
+through the wicket, when she laid hold of my coat and tried to hold me
+back.
+
+"Do you know wot you're a-doing of?"  I ses, turning on her.
+
+"Oh, Bill dear," she ses, "don't talk to me like that.  Do you want to
+break my 'art?  Arter all these years!"
+
+She pulled out a dirt-coloured pocket-'ankercher and stood there dabbing
+her eyes with it.  One eye at a time she dabbed, while she looked at me
+reproachful with the other.  And arter eight dabs, four to each eye, she
+began to sob as if her 'art would break.
+
+"Go away," I ses, very slow.  "You can't stand making that noise outside
+my wharf.  Go away and give somebody else a treat."
+
+Afore she could say anything the potman from the Tiger, a nasty ginger-
+'aired little chap that nobody liked, come by and stopped to pat her on
+the back.
+
+"There, there, don't take on, mother," he ses.  "Wot's he been a-doing to
+you?"
+
+"You get off 'ome," I ses, losing my temper.
+
+"Wot d'ye mean trying to drag me into it?  I've never seen the woman
+afore in my life."
+
+"Oh, Bill!" ses the woman, sobbing louder than ever.  "Oh! Oh! Oh!"
+
+"'Ow does she know your name, then?" ses the little beast of a potman.
+
+I didn't answer him.  I might have told 'im that there's about five
+million Bills in England, but I didn't.  I stood there with my arms
+folded acrost my chest, and looked at him, superior.
+
+"Where 'ave you been all this long, long time?" she ses, between her
+sobs.  "Why did you leave your happy 'ome and your children wot loved
+you?"
+
+The potman let off a whistle that you could have 'eard acrost the river,
+and as for me, I thought I should ha' dropped.  To have a woman standing
+sobbing and taking my character away like that was a'most more than I
+could bear.
+
+"Did he run away from you?"  ses the potman.
+
+"Ye-ye-yes," she ses.  "He went off on a vy'ge to China over nine years
+ago, and that's the last I saw of 'im till to-night.  A lady friend o'
+mine thought she reckernized 'im yesterday, and told me."
+
+"I shouldn't cry over 'im," ses the potman, shaking his 'ead: "he ain't
+worth it.  If I was you I should just give 'im a bang or two over the
+'ead with my umberella, and then give 'im in charge."
+
+I stepped inside the wicket--backwards--and then I slammed it in their
+faces, and putting the key in my pocket, walked up the wharf.  I knew it
+was no good standing out there argufying.  I felt sorry for the pore
+thing in a way.  If she really thought I was her 'usband, and she 'ad
+lost me----  I put one or two things straight and then, for the sake of
+distracting my mind, I 'ad a word or two with the skipper of the John
+Henry, who was leaning against the side of his ship, smoking.
+
+"Wot's that tapping noise?" he ses, all of a sudden.  "'Ark!"
+
+I knew wot it was.  It was the handle of that umberella 'ammering on the
+gate.  I went cold all over, and then when I thought that the pot-man was
+most likely encouraging 'er to do it I began to boil.
+
+"Somebody at the gate," ses the skipper.
+
+"Aye, aye," I ses.  "I know all about it."
+
+I went on talking until at last the skipper asked me whether he was
+wandering in 'is mind, or whether I was.  The mate came up from the cabin
+just then, and o' course he 'ad to tell me there was somebody knocking at
+the gate.
+
+"Ain't you going to open it?"  ses the skipper, staring at me.
+
+"Let 'em ring," I ses, off-hand.
+
+The words was 'ardly out of my mouth afore they did ring, and if they 'ad
+been selling muffins they couldn't ha' kept it up harder.  And all the
+time the umberella was doing rat-a-tat tats on the gate, while a voice--
+much too loud for the potman's--started calling out: "Watch-man ahoy!"
+
+"They're calling you, Bill," ses the skipper.  "I ain't deaf," I ses,
+very cold.
+
+"Well, I wish I was," ses the skipper.  "It's fair making my ear ache.
+Why the blazes don't you do your dooty, and open the gate?"
+
+"You mind your bisness and I'll mind mine," I ses.  "I know wot I'm
+doing.  It's just some silly fools 'aving a game with me, and I'm not
+going to encourage 'em."
+
+"Game with you?" ses the skipper.  "Ain't they got anything better than
+that to play with?  Look 'ere, if you don't open that gate, I will."
+
+"It's nothing to do with you," I ses.  "You look arter your ship and I'll
+look arter my wharf.  See?  If you don't like the noise, go down in the
+cabin and stick your 'ead in a biscuit-bag."
+
+To my surprise he took the mate by the arm and went, and I was just
+thinking wot a good thing it was to be a bit firm with people sometimes,
+when they came back dressed up in their coats and bowler-hats and climbed
+on to the wharf.
+
+"Watchman!" ses the skipper, in a hoity-toity sort o' voice, "me and the
+mate is going as far as Aldgate for a breath o' fresh air.  Open the
+gate."
+
+I gave him a look that might ha' melted a 'art of stone, and all it done
+to 'im was to make 'im laugh.
+
+"Hurry up," he ses.  "It a'most seems to me that there's somebody ringing
+the bell, and you can let them in same time as you let us out.  Is it the
+bell, or is it my fancy, Joe?"  he ses, turning to the mate.
+
+They marched on in front of me with their noses cocked in the air, and
+all the time the noise at the gate got worse and worse.  So far as I
+could make out, there was quite a crowd outside, and I stood there with
+the key in the lock, trembling all over.  Then I unlocked it very
+careful, and put my hand on the skipper's arm.
+
+"Nip out quick," I ses, in a whisper.
+
+"I'm in no hurry," ses the skipper.  "Here!  Halloa, wot's up?"
+
+It was like opening the door at a theatre, and the fust one through was
+that woman, shoved behind by the potman.  Arter 'im came a car-man, two
+big 'ulking brewers' draymen, a little scrap of a woman with 'er bonnet
+cocked over one eye, and a couple of dirty little boys.
+
+"Wot is it?" ses the skipper, shutting the wicket behind 'em.  "A
+beanfeast?"
+
+"This lady wants her 'usband," ses the pot-man, pointing at me.  "He run
+away from her nine years ago, and now he says he 'as never seen 'er
+before.  He ought to be 'ung."
+
+"Bill," ses the skipper, shaking his silly 'ead at me.  "I can 'ardly
+believe it."
+
+"It's all a pack o' silly lies," I ses, firing up.  "She's made a
+mistake."
+
+"She made a mistake when she married you," ses the thin little woman.
+"If I was in 'er shoes I'd take 'old of you and tear you limb from limb."
+
+"I don't want to hurt 'im, ma'am," ses the other woman.  "I on'y want him
+to come 'ome to me and my five.  Why, he's never seen the youngest,
+little Annie.  She's as like 'im as two peas."
+
+"Pore little devil," ses the carman.
+
+"Look here!" I ses, "you clear off.  All of you.  'Ow dare you come on to
+my wharf?  If you aren't gone in two minutes I'll give you all in
+charge."
+
+"Who to?" ses one of the draymen, sticking his face into mine.  "You go
+'ome to your wife and kids.  Go on now, afore I put up my 'ands to you."
+
+"That's the way to talk to 'im," ses the pot-man, nodding at 'em.
+
+They all began to talk to me then and tell me wot I was to do, and wot
+they would do if I didn't.  I couldn't get a word in edgeways.  When I
+reminded the mate that when he was up in London 'e always passed himself
+off as a single man, 'e wouldn't listen; and when I asked the skipper
+whether 'is pore missus was blind, he on'y went on shouting at the top of
+'is voice.  It on'y showed me 'ow anxious most people are that everybody
+else should be good.
+
+I thought they was never going to stop, and, if it 'adn't been for a fit
+of coughing, I don't believe that the scraggy little woman could ha'
+stopped.  Arter one o' the draymen 'ad saved her life and spoilt 'er
+temper by patting 'er on the back with a hand the size of a leg o'
+mutton, the carman turned to me and told me to tell the truth, if it
+choked me.
+
+"I have told you the truth," I ses.  "She ses I'm her 'usband and I say I
+ain't.  Ow's she going to prove it?  Why should you believe her, and not
+me?"
+
+"She's got a truthful face," ses the carman.
+
+"Look here!" ses the skipper, speaking very slow, "I've got an idea,
+wot'll settle it p'raps.  You get outside," he ses, turning sharp on the
+two little boys.
+
+One o' the draymen 'elped 'em to go out, and 'arf a minute arterwards a
+stone came over the gate and cut the potman's lip open.  Boys will be
+boys.
+
+"Now!" ses the skipper, turning to the woman, and smiling with
+conceitedness.  "Had your 'usband got any marks on 'im?  Birth-mark, or
+moles, or anything of that sort?"
+
+"I'm sure he is my 'usband," ses the woman, dabbing her eyes.
+
+"Yes, yes," ses the skipper, "but answer my question.  If you can tell us
+any marks your 'usband had, we can take Bill down into my cabin and----"
+
+"You'll do WOT?"  I ses, in a loud voice.
+
+"You speak when you're spoke to," ses the carman.  "It's got nothing to
+do with you."
+
+"No, he ain't got no birthmarks," ses the woman, speaking very slow--and
+I could see she was afraid of making a mistake and losing me--"but he's
+got tattoo marks.  He's got a mermaid tattooed on 'im."
+
+"Where?" ses the skipper, a'most jumping.
+
+I 'eld my breath.  Five sailormen out of ten have been tattooed with
+mermaids, and I was one of 'em.  When she spoke agin I thought I should
+ha' dropped.
+
+"On 'is right arm," she ses, "unless he's 'ad it rubbed off."
+
+"You can't rub out tattoo marks," ses the skipper.
+
+They all stood looking at me as if they was waiting for something.  I
+folded my arms--tight--and stared back at 'em.
+
+"If you ain't this lady's 'usband," ses the skipper, turning to me, "you
+can take off your coat and prove it."
+
+"And if you don't we'll take it off for you," ses the carman, coming a
+bit closer.
+
+Arter that things 'appened so quick, I hardly knew whether I was standing
+on my 'cad or my heels.  Both, I think.  They was all on top o' me at
+once, and the next thing I can remember is sitting on the ground in my
+shirt-sleeves listening to the potman, who was making a fearful fuss
+because somebody 'ad bit his ear 'arf off.  My coat was ripped up the
+back, and one of the draymen was holding up my arm and showing them all
+the mermaid, while the other struck matches so as they could see better."
+
+"That's your 'usband right enough," he ses to the woman.  "Take 'im."
+
+"P'raps she'll carry 'im 'ome," I ses, very fierce and sarcastic.
+
+"And we don't want none of your lip," ses the carman, who was in a bad
+temper because he 'ad got a fearful kick on the shin from somewhere.
+
+I got up very slow and began to put my coat on again, and twice I 'ad to
+tell that silly woman that when I wanted her 'elp I'd let 'er know.  Then
+I 'eard slow, heavy footsteps in the road outside, and, afore any of 'em
+could stop me, I was calling for the police.
+
+I don't like policemen as a rule; they're too inquisitive, but when the
+wicket was pushed open and I saw a face with a helmet on it peeping in, I
+felt quite a liking for 'em.
+
+"Wot's up?"  ses the policeman, staring 'ard at my little party.
+
+They all started telling 'im at once, and I should think if the potman
+showed him 'is ear once he showed it to 'im twenty times.  He lost his
+temper and pushed it away at last, and the potman gave a 'owl that set my
+teeth on edge.  I waited till they was all finished, and the policeman
+trying to get 'is hearing back, and then I spoke up in a quiet way and
+told 'im to clear them all off of my wharf.
+
+"They're trespassing," I ses, "all except the skipper and mate here.
+They belong to a little wash-tub that's laying alongside, and they're
+both as 'armless as they look."
+
+It's wonderful wot a uniform will do.  The policeman just jerked his 'ead
+and said "out-side," and the men went out like a flock of sheep.  The
+on'y man that said a word was the carman, who was in such a hurry that 'e
+knocked his bad shin against my foot as 'e went by.  The thin little
+woman was passed out by the policeman in the middle of a speech she was
+making, and he was just going for the other, when the skipper stopped
+'im.
+
+"This lady is coming on my ship," he ses, puffing out 'is chest.
+
+I looked at 'im, and then I turned to the policeman.  "So long as she
+goes off my wharf, I don't mind where she goes," I ses.  "The skipper's
+goings-on 'ave got nothing to do with me."
+
+"Then she can foller him 'ome in the morning," ses the skipper.  "Good
+night, watch-man."
+
+Him and the mate 'elped the silly old thing to the ship, and, arter I 'ad
+been round to the Bear's Head and fetched a pint for the police-man, I
+locked up and sat down to think things out; and the more I thought the
+worse they seemed.  I've 'eard people say that if you have a clear
+conscience nothing can hurt you.  They didn't know my missus.
+
+I got up at last and walked on to the jetty, and the woman, wot was
+sitting on the deck of the John Henry, kept calling out: "Bill!" like a
+sick baa-lamb crying for its ma.  I went back, and 'ad four pints at the
+Bear's Head, but it didn't seem to do me any good, and at last I went and
+sat down in the office to wait for morning.
+
+It came at last, a lovely morning with a beautiful sunrise; and that
+woman sitting up wide awake, waiting to foller me 'ome.  When I opened
+the gate at six o'clock she was there with the mate and the skipper,
+waiting, and when I left at five minutes past she was trotting along
+beside me.
+
+Twice I stopped and spoke to 'er, but it was no good.  Other people
+stopped too, and I 'ad to move on agin; and every step was bringing me
+nearer to my house and the missus.
+
+I turned into our street, arter passing it three times, and the first
+thing I saw was my missus standing on the doorstep 'aving a few words
+with the lady next door.  Then she 'appened to look up and see us, just
+as that silly woman was trying to walk arm-in-arm.
+
+Twice I knocked her 'and away, and then, right afore my wife and the
+party next door, she put her arm round my waist.  By the time I got to
+the 'ouse my legs was trembling so I could hardly stand, and when I got
+into the passage I 'ad to lean up against the wall for a bit.
+
+[Illustration: RIGHT AFORE MY WIFE AND THE PARTY NEXT DOOR SHE PUT HER
+ARM ROUND MY WAIST.]
+
+"Keep 'er out," I ses.
+
+"Wot do you want?"  ses my missus, trembling with passion.  "Wot do you
+think you're doing?"
+
+"I want my 'usband, Bill," ses the woman.
+
+My missus put her 'and to her throat and came in without a word, and the
+woman follered 'er.  If I hadn't kept my presence o' mind and shut the
+door two or three more would 'ave come in too.
+
+I went into the kitchen about ten minutes arterwards to see 'ow they was
+getting on.  Besides which they was both calling for me.
+
+"Now then!"  ses my missus, who was leaning up against the dresser with
+'er arms folded, "wot 'ave you got to say for yourself walking in as bold
+as brass with this hussy?"
+
+"Bill!" ses the woman, "did you hear wot she called me?"
+
+She spoke to me like that afore my wife, and in two minutes they was at
+it, hammer and tongs.
+
+Fust of all they spoke about each other, and then my missus started
+speaking about me.  She's got a better memory than most people, because
+she can remember things that never 'appened, and every time I coughed she
+turned on me like a tiger.
+
+"And as for you," she ses, turning to the woman, "if you did marry 'im
+you should ha' made sure that he 'adn't got a wife already."
+
+"He married me fust," ses the woman.
+
+"When?" ses my wife.  "Wot was the date?"
+
+"Wot was the date you married 'im?"  ses the other one.
+
+They stood looking at each other like a couple o' game-cocks, and I could
+see as plain as a pike-staff 'ow frightened both of 'em was o' losing me.
+
+"Look here!"  I ses at last, to my missus, "talk sense.  'Ow could I be
+married to 'er?  When I was at sea I was at sea, and when I was ashore I
+was with you."
+
+"Did you use to go down to the ship to see 'im off?" ses the woman.
+
+"No," ses my wife.  "I'd something better to do."
+
+"Neither did I," ses the woman.  "P'raps that's where we both made a
+mistake."
+
+"You get out of my 'ouse!" ses my missus, very sudden.  "Go on, afore I
+put you out."
+
+"Not without my Bill," ses the woman.  "If you lay a finger on me I'll
+scream the house down."
+
+"You brought her 'ere," ses my wife, turning to me, "now you can take 'er
+away?"
+
+"I didn't bring 'er," I ses.  "She follered me."
+
+"Well, she can foller you agin," she ses.  "Go on!" she ses, trembling
+all over.  "Git out afore I start on you."
+
+I was in such a temper that I daren't trust myself to stop.  I just gave
+'er one look, and then I drew myself up and went out.  'Alf the fools in
+our street was standing in front of the 'ouse, 'umming like bees, but I
+took no notice.  I held my 'ead up and walked through them with that
+woman trailing arter me.
+
+I was in such a state of mind that I went on like a man in a dream.  If
+it had ha' been a dream I should ha' pushed 'er under an omnibus, but you
+can't do things like that in real life.
+
+"Penny for your thoughts, Bill," she ses.  I didn't answer her.
+
+"Why don't you speak to me?"  she ses.
+
+"You don't know wot you're asking for," I ses.
+
+I was hungry and sleepy, and 'ow I was going to get through the day I
+couldn't think.  I went into a pub and 'ad a couple o' pints o' stout and
+a crust o' bread and cheese for brekfuss.  I don't know wot she 'ad, but
+when the barman tried to take for it out o' my money, I surprised 'im.
+
+We walked about till I was ready to drop.  Then we got to Victoria Park,
+and I 'ad no sooner got on to the grass than I laid down and went
+straight off to sleep.  It was two o'clock when I woke, and, arter a
+couple o' pork-pies and a pint or two, I sat on a seat in the Park
+smoking, while she kep' dabbing 'er eyes agin and asking me to come 'ome.
+
+At five o'clock I got up to go back to the wharf, and, taking no notice
+of 'er, I walked into the street and jumped on a 'bus that was passing.
+She jumped too, and, arter the conductor had 'elped 'er up off of 'er
+knees and taken her arms away from his waist, I'm blest if he didn't turn
+on me and ask me why I 'adn't left her at 'ome.
+
+We got to the wharf just afore six.  The John Henry 'ad gorn, but the
+skipper 'ad done all the 'arm he could afore he sailed, and, if I 'adn't
+kept my temper, I should ha' murdered arf a dozen of 'em.
+
+The woman wanted to come on to the wharf, but I 'ad a word or two with
+one o' the fore-men, who owed me arf-a-dollar, and he made that all
+right.
+
+"We all 'ave our faults, Bill," he ses as 'e went out, "and I suppose she
+was better looking once upon a time?"
+
+I didn't answer 'im.  I shut the wicket arter 'im, quick, and turned the
+key, and then I went on with my work.  For a long time everything was as
+quiet as the grave, and then there came just one little pull at the bell.
+Five minutes arterwards there was another.
+
+I thought it was that woman, but I 'ad to make sure.  When it came the
+third time I crept up to the gate.
+
+"Halloa!" I ses.  "Who is it?"
+
+"Me, darling," ses a voice I reckernized as the potman's.  "Your missus
+wants to come in and sit down."
+
+I could 'ear several people talking, and it seemed to me there was quite
+a crowd out there, and by and by that bell was going like mad.  Then
+people started kicking the gate, and shouting, but I took no notice
+until, presently, it left off all of a sudden, and I 'eard a loud voice
+asking what it was all about.  I suppose there was about fifty of 'em all
+telling it at once, and then there was the sound of a fist on the gate.
+
+"Who is it?"  I ses.
+
+"Police," ses the voice.
+
+I opened the wicket then and looked out.  A couple o' policemen was
+standing by the gate and arf the riff-raff of Wapping behind 'em.
+
+"Wot's all this about?" ses one o' the policemen.
+
+I shook my 'ead.  "Ask me another," I ses.  "Your missus is causing a
+disturbance," he ses.
+
+"She's not my missus," I ses; "she's a complete stranger to me."
+
+"And causing a crowd to collect and refusing to go away," ses the other
+policeman.
+
+"That's your business," I ses.  "It's nothing to do with me."
+
+They talked to each other for a moment, and then they spoke to the woman.
+I didn't 'ear wot she said, but I saw her shake her 'ead, and a'most
+direckly arterwards she was marching away between the two policemen with
+the crowd follering and advising 'er where to kick 'em.
+
+I was a bit worried at fust--not about her--and then I began to think
+that p'raps it was the best thing that could have 'appened.
+
+I went 'ome in the morning with a load lifted off my mind; but I 'adn't
+been in the 'ouse two seconds afore my missus started to put it on agin.
+Fust of all she asked me 'ow I dared to come into the 'ouse, and then she
+wanted to know wot I meant by leaving her at 'ome and going out for the
+day with another woman.
+
+"You told me to," I ses.
+
+"Oh, yes," she ses, trembling with temper.  "You always do wot I tell
+you, don't you?  Al-ways 'ave, especially when it's anything you like."
+
+She fetched a bucket o' water and scrubbed the kitchen while I was having
+my brekfuss, but I kept my eye on 'er, and, the moment she 'ad finished,
+I did the perlite and emptied the bucket for 'er, to prevent mistakes.
+
+I read about the case in the Sunday paper, and I'm thankful to say my
+name wasn't in it.  All the magistrate done was to make 'er promise that
+she wouldn't do it again, and then he let 'er go.  I should ha' felt more
+comfortable if he 'ad given 'er five years, but, as it turned out, it
+didn't matter.  Her 'usband happened to read it, and, whether 'e was
+tired of living alone, or whether he was excited by 'caring that she 'ad
+got a little general shop, 'e went back to her.
+
+The fust I knew about it was they came round to the wharf to see me.  He
+'ad been a fine-looking chap in 'is day, and even then 'e was enough like
+me for me to see 'ow she 'ad made the mistake; and all the time she was
+telling me 'ow it 'appened, he was looking me up and down and sniffing.
+
+"'Ave you got a cold?"  I ses, at last.
+
+"Wot's that got to do with you?" he ses.  "Wot do you mean by walking out
+with my wife?  That's what I've come to talk about."
+
+For a moment I thought that his bad luck 'ad turned 'is brain.  "You've
+got it wrong," I ses, as soon as I could speak.  "She walked out with
+me."
+
+"Cos she thought you was her 'usband," he ses, "but you didn't think you
+was me, did you?"
+
+"'Course I didn't," I ses.
+
+"Then 'ow dare you walk out with 'er?"  he ses.
+
+"Look 'ere!" I ses.  "You get off 'ome as quick as you like.  I've 'ad
+about enough of your family.  Go on, hook it."
+
+Afore I could put my 'ands up he 'it me hard in the mouth, and the next
+moment we was at it as 'ard as we could go.  Nearly every time I hit 'im
+he wasn't there, and every time 'e hit me I wished I hadn't ha' been.
+When I said I had 'ad enough, 'e contradicted me and kept on, but he got
+tired of it at last, and, arter telling me wot he would do if I ever
+walked 'is wife out agin, they went off like a couple o' love-birds.
+
+By the time I got 'ome next morning my eyes was so swelled up I could
+'ardly see, and my nose wouldn't let me touch it.  I was so done up I
+could 'ardly speak, but I managed to tell my missus about it arter I had
+'ad a cup o' tea.  Judging by her face anybody might ha' thought I was
+telling 'er something funny, and, when I 'ad finished, she looks up at
+the ceiling and ses:
+
+"I 'ope it'll be a lesson to you," she ses.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Husbandry, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11476 ***