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diff --git a/11445-0.txt b/11445-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fdb1a37 --- /dev/null +++ b/11445-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1698 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11445 *** + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustration. + See 11445-h.htm or 11445-h.zip: + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/4/11445/11445-h/11445-h.htm) + or + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/4/4/11445/11445-h.zip) + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 12, NO. 348.] SATURDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1828. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + + +[Illustration: Barber's Barn, Hackney.] + + +The engraving represents a place of historical interest--an ancient +mansion in Mare-street, Hackney, built about the year 1591, upon a spot +of ground called Barbour Berns, by which name, or rather _Barber's +Barn_, the house has been described in old writings. + +In this house resided the noted Colonel John Okey, one of the regicides +"charged with compassing and imagining the death of the late King +Charles I." in October, 1660. Nineteen of these "bold traitors," (among +whom was Okey,) fled from justice, and were attainted, and Barber's Barn +was in his tenure at the time of his attainder. His interest in the +premises being forfeited to the crown, was granted to the Duke of York, +who, by his indenture, dated 1663, gave up his right therein to Okey's +widow. The colonel was apprehended in Holland, with Sir John Berkestead +and Miles Corbett, in 1662, whence they were sent over to England; and +having been outlawed for high treason, a rule was made by the Court of +King's Bench for their execution at Tyburn. These were the last of the +regicides that were punished capitally. + +Barber's Barn and its adjoining grounds have, however, since become +appropriated to more pacific pursuits than hatching treason, compassing, +&c. About the middle of the last century, one John Busch cultivated +the premises as a nursery. Catharine II. Empress of Russia, says a +correspondent of Mr. Loudon's _Gardener's Magazine_, "finding she could +have nothing done to her mind, she determined to have a person from +England to lay out her garden." Busch was the person engaged to go out +to Russia for this purpose; and in the year 1771 he gave up his concerns +at Hackney, with the nursery and foreign correspondence, to Messrs. +Loddidges. These gentlemen, who rank as the most eminent florists and +nurserymen of their time, have here extensive green and hot houses which +are heated by steam; the ingenious apparatus belonging to which has been +principally devised by themselves. Their gardens boast of the finest +display of exotics ever assembled in this country, and a walk through +them is one of the most delightful spectacles of Nature. + +Hackney was once distinguished by princely mansions; but, alas! many of +these abodes of wealth have been turned into receptacles for lunatics! +Brooke House, formerly the seat of a nobleman of that name, and Balmes' +House, within memory surrounded by a moat, and approached only by a +drawbridge, have shared this humiliating fate. Sir Robert Viner,[1] who +made Charles II. "stay and take t'other bottle," resided here; and John +Ward, Esq. M.P. whom Pope has "damned to everlasting fame," had a house +at Hackney. + + [1] The following anecdote is related of him:--Charles II. more + than once dined with his good citizens of London on their + Lord Mayor's Day, and did so the year that Sir Robert Viner + was mayor. Sir Robert was a very loyal man, and, very fond of + his sovereign; but, what with the joy he felt at heart for the + honour done him by his prince, and through the warmth he was + in with continual toasting healths to the royal family, his + lordship grew a little fond of his majesty, and entered into + a familiarity not altogether so graceful in so public a place. + The king understood very well how to extricate himself in all + kinds of difficulties, and, with a hint to the company to avoid + ceremony, stole off and made towards his coach, which stood + ready for him in Guildhall yard. But the mayor liked his company + so well, and was grown so intimate, that he pursued him hastily, + and, catching him fast by the hand, cried out with a vehement + oath and accent, "Sir, you shall stay and take t'other bottle." + The airy monarch looked kindly at him over his shoulder, and + with a smile and graceful air, repeated this line of the + old song-- + + "He that's drunk is as great as a king," + + and immediately returned back, and complied with his + landlord.--_Spectator_, 462. + + * * * * * + + +CURIOUS STONE PULPIT. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +The pulpit in the church of St. Peter, at Wolverhampton, is formed +wholly of stone. It consists of one entire piece, with the pedestal +which supports it, the flight of steps leading to it, with the +balustrade, &c., without any division, the whole having been cut out +of a solid block of stone. The church was erected in the year 996, +at which time it is said this remarkable pulpit was put up; and +notwithstanding its great age, which appears to be 832 years, it is +still in good condition. At the foot of the steps is a large figure, +intended to represent a lion couchant, but carved after so grotesque a +fashion, as to puzzle the naturalist in his attempts to determine its +proper classification. In other respects the ornamental sculpture +about the pulpit is neat and appropriate, and presents a curious +specimen of the taste of our ancestors at that early period. + +This is a collegiate church, with a fine embattled tower, of rich +Gothic architecture, and was originally dedicated to the Virgin, but +altered in the time of Henry III. to St. Peter. It is pleasantly +situated on a gravelly hill, and commands a fine prospect towards +Shropshire and Wales. + +A CORRESPONDENT. + + * * * * * + + +LAST DAYS OF, AND ROUGH NOTES ON, 1828. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + + It was but yesterday the snow + Of thy dead sire was on the hill-- + It was but yesterday the flow + Of thy spring showers increased the rill, + And made a thousand blossoms swell + To welcome summer's festival..... + And now all these are of the past, + For this lone hour must be thy last! + + Thou must depart! where none may know-- + The sun for thee hath ever set, + The star of morn, the silver bow, + No more shall gem thy coronet + And give thee glory; but the sky + Shall shine on thy posterity!... + + +So there's an end of 1828; "all its great and glorious transactions +are now nothing more than mere matter of history!" What wars of arms +and words! what lots of changes and secessions! what debates on +"guarantee," "stipulations," and "untoward" events! what "piles of +legislation!" what a fund of speculation for the denizens of the +stock-exchange, and newspaper press!--all may now be embodied in that +little word--the _past_; and only serve to fill up and figure in the +pages of the next "Annual Register!"--sic transit gloria--"but the +proverb is somewhat musty." One, two, three.... ten, eleven, twelve, +and now "methinks my soul hath elbow room." + +Those versed in the lore of Francis Moore, physician, which must +doubtless include most of our readers, are aware that our veteran +friend, eighteen hundred and twenty-eight, has been for some time in +what is called a "galloping" consumption, and it is certain cannot +possibly survive after the bells "chime twelve" on Wednesday night, +the thirty-first of December,-- + + + "--as if an angel spoke, + I hear the solemn sound," + + +when he will depart this life, and be gathered to his ancestors, who +have successively been entombed in the vault of Time. + +Well, taking all things into consideration, we predict he will not +have many mourners in his train. "Rumours of wars" have gone through +the land, and the ominous hieroglyphics of "Raphael" in his "Prophetic +Messenger," unfold to the lover of futurity, that "war with all its +bloody train," will visit this quarter of the globe with unusual +severity the coming year--and we have had comets and "rumours" of +comets for many months past, while the red and glaring appearance of +the planet, Mars, is as we have elsewhere observed, considered by the +many a forerunner, and sign of long wars and much bloodshed. To dwell +further on the political horizon, or the "events and fortunes" of the +past year would be out of place in the fair pages of the MIRROR; and +should it be our fate to present its readers with future "notings" on +another year, we will then dwell upon the good or ill-fortune of Turk +or Russian to the _quantum suff_. of the most inveterate politician. + +"Enough of this:" 1828 has nearly got the "go-by" and we have outlived +its pains and perils, its varied scenes of good or evil, and its +pleasures too, for there is a bright side to human reverse and +suffering, and we are ready at our posts to enact and stand another +campaign in this "strange eventful history." We often find that the +public discover virtues and good qualities in a man after his death, +which they had previously given him no credit for; let this be as it +may, 1828 may be deemed a very "passable" year. To use a simile, a +sick man when recovering from a fever, makes slow progress at first; +and we should fairly hope that the gallant ship is at last weathering +the hurricane of the "commercial crisis," and that the trade-winds of +prosperity will again visit us and extend their balmy influence over +our shores; and to borrow a commercial phrase, we trust to be able to +quote an improvement on this head next year. + + + I stood between the meeting years + The coming and the past, + And I ask'd of the future one + Wilt thou be like the last? + The same in many a sleepless night, + In many an anxious day? + Thank heaven! I have no prophet's eye, + To look upon thy way! + +L.E.L. + +The march of mind is progressing, and the once boasted "wisdom of our +ancestors" and the "golden days of good Queen Bess," are hurled with +derision to the tomb of all the Capulets. We regret that we cannot +chronicle a "Narrative of a first attempt to reach the cities of Bath +and Bristol, in the year 1828, in an extra patent steam-coach, by +Messrs. Burstall, or Gurney." The newspapers, however, still continue +to inform us that such vehicles are _about_ to start, so we may +reasonably expect that Time will accomplish the long talked of event. +Nay, we even hear it rumoured that the public are shortly to crest the +billows in a steamer at the rate of fifty or a hundred miles an hour! +and this is mentioned as a mere first essay, an immature sample of +what the improved steam-paddles are to effect--also in Time; who after +this can doubt the approaching perfectibility of Mars? Oh, steam! +steam! but this is well ploughed ground. + +Art, science, and literature, also progress, and we almost begin to +fear we shall soon be puzzled where to stow the books, and anticipate +a dearth in rags, an extinction of Rag-Fair! (which will keep the +others in countenance,) the booksellers' maws seem so capacious. +Christmas with its rare recollections of feasting (and their _pendant_ +of bile and sick headache) has again come round. New Year's Day, and +of all the days most "rich and rare," Twelfth Day is coming! But it is +in Scotland that the advent of the new year, or _Hogmanay_ is kept +with the most hilarity; the Scotch by their extra rejoicings at this +time, seem to wish to make up for their utter neglect of Christmas. We +may be induced to offer a few reminiscences of a sojourn in the north, +at this period, on a future occasion. The extreme beauty of the +following lines on the year that is past, will, we think, prove a +sufficient apology for their introduction here:-- + + + In darkness, in eternal space, + Sightless as a sin-quenched star, + Thou shalt pursue thy wandering race, + Receding into regions far-- + On thee the eyes of mortal men + Shall never, never light again; + Memory alone may steal a glance + Like some wild glimpse in sleep we're taking. + Of a long perish'd countenance + We have forgotten when awaking-- + Sad, evanescent, colour'd weak, + As beauty on a dying cheek. + + Farewell! that cold regretful word + To one whom we have called a friend-- + Yet still "farewell" I must record + The sign that marks our friendship's end. + Thou'rt on thy couch of wither'd leaves, + The surly blast thy breath receives, + In the stript woods I hear thy dirge, + Thy passing bell the hinds are tolling + Thy death-song sounds in ocean's surge, + Oblivion's clouds are round thee rolling, + Thou'lst buried be where buried lie + Years of the dead eternity! + + +It is needless to add that our old friend will be succeeded in his +title and estates by his next heir, eighteen hundred and twenty-nine, +whose advent will no doubt be generally welcomed. We cannot help +picturing to ourselves the anxiety, the singularly deep and thrilling +interest, which universally prevails as his last hour approaches:-- + + + "Hark the deep-toned chime of that bell + As it breaks on the midnight ear-- + Seems it not tolling a funeral knell? + 'Tis the knell of the parting year! + Before that bell shall have ceas'd its chime + The year shall have sunk on the ocean of Time!" + + +And shall we go on after this lone hour? no, we will even follow its +course, draw this article to a close by wishing our readers, in the +good old phrase, "a happy New Year and many of them;" and conclude +with them, that + + + Our pilgrimage here + By so much is shorten'd--then fare thee well Year! + +VYVYAN. + + * * * * * + + +ODE TO MORPHEUS. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + + Tell me, thou god of slumbers! why + Thus from my pillow dost thou fly? + And wherefore, stranger to thy balmy power, + Whilst death-like silence reigns around, + And wraps the world in sleep profound, + Must I alone count every passing hour? + And, whilst each happier mind is hush'd in sleep, + Must I alone a painful vigil keep, + And to the midnight shades my lonely sorrows pour? + + Once more be thou the friend of woe, + And grant my heavy eyes to know + The welcome pressure of thy healing hand; + So shall the gnawing tooth of care + Its rude attacks awhile forbear, + Still'd by the touch of thy benumbing wand-- + And my tir'd spirit, with thy influence blest, + Shall calmly yield it to the arms of rest, + But which, or comes or flies, only at thy command! + + Yet if when sleep the body chains + In sweet oblivion of its pains, + Thou bid'st imagination active wake, + Oh, Morpheus! banish from my bed + Each form of grief, each form of dread, + And all that can the soul with horror shake: + Let not the ghastly fiends admission find, + Which conscience forms to haunt the guilty mind-- + Oh! let not _forms_ like these my peaceful slumbers break! + + But bring before my raptured sight + Each pleasing image of delight, + Of love, of friendship, and of social joy; + And chiefly, on thy magic wing + My ever blooming Mary bring, + (Whose beauties all my waking thoughts employ,) + Glowing with rosy health and every charm + That knows to fill my breast with soft alarm, + Oh, bring the gentle maiden to my fancy's eye! + + Not such, as oft my jealous fear + Hath bid the lovely girl appear, + Deaf to my vows, by my complaints unmov'd, + Whilst to my happier rival's prayer, + Smiling, she turns a willing ear, + And gives the bliss supreme to be belov'd: + Oh, sleep dispensing power! such thoughts restrain, + Nor e'en in dreams inflict the bitter pain, + To know my vows are scorn'd--my rivals are approv'd! + + Ah, no! let fancy's hand supply + The blushing cheek, the melting eye, + The heaving breast which glows with genial fire; + Then let me clasp her in my arms, + And, basking in her sweetest charms, + Lose every grief in that triumphant hour. + If Morpheus, thus thou'lt cheat the gloomy night, + For thy embrace I'll fly day's garish light, + Nor ever wish to wake while dreams like this inspire! + +HUGH DELMORE. + + * * * * * + + +ON IDLENESS. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +It has been somewhere asserted, that "no one is idle who can do any +thing. It is conscious inability, or the sense of repeated failures, +that prevents us from undertaking, or deters us from the prosecution +of any work." In answer to this it may be said, that men of very great +natural genius are in general exempt from a love of idleness, because, +being pushed forward, as it were, and excited to action by that _vis +vivida_, which is continually stirring within them, the first effort, +the original impetus, proceeds not altogether from their own voluntary +exertion, and because the pleasure which they, above all others, +experience in the exercise of their faculties, is an ample +compensation for the labour which that exercise requires. Accordingly, +we find that the best writers of every age have generally, though not +always, been the most voluminous. Not to mention a host of ancients, I +might instance many of our own country as illustrious examples of this +assertion, and no example more illustrious than that of the immortal +Shakspeare. In our times the author of "Waverley," whose productions, +in different branches of literature, would almost of themselves +fill a library, continues to pour forth volume after volume from his +inexhaustible stores. Mr. Southey, too, the poet, the historian, +the biographer, and I know not what besides, is remarkable for his +literary industry; and last, not least, the noble bard, the glory and +the regret of every one who has a soul to feel those "thoughts that +breathe and words that burn," the mighty poet himself, notwithstanding +the shortness of his life, is distinguished by the number, as well as +by the beauty and sublimity of his works. Besides these and other +male writers, the best of our female authors, the boast and delight +of the present age, and who have been compared to "so many modern +Muses"--Miss Landon, Mrs. Hemans, Miss Edgeworth, Miss Mitford, +&c.--have they not already supplied us largely with the means of +entertainment and instruction, and have we not reason to expect still +greater supplies from the same sources? + +But although it may be easily allowed that men of very great natural +genius are for the most part exempt from a love of idleness, it ought +also to be acknowledged that there are others to whom, indeed, nature +has not been equally bountiful, but who possess a certain degree of +talent which perseverance and study (if to study they would apply +themselves) might gradually advance, and at last carry to excellence. + +With the exception of a few master spirits of every age and nation, +genius is more equally distributed among mankind than many suppose. +Hear what Quintilian says on the subject; his observations are +these:--"It is a groundless complaint, that very few are endowed with +quick apprehension, and that most persons lose the fruits of all their +application and study through a natural slowness of understanding. The +case is the very reverse, because we find mankind in general to be +quick in apprehension, and susceptible of instruction, this being the +characteristic of the human race; and as birds have from nature a +propensity to fly, horses to run, and wild beasts to be savage, so is +activity and vigour of mind peculiar to man; and hence his mind is +supposed to be of divine original. But men are no more born with minds +naturally dull and indocile, than with bodies of monstrous shapes, and +these are very rare." + +From what has been premised, this conclusion may be drawn--that it is +not "conscious inability" alone, but often a love of leisure, which +prevents us from undertaking any work. Many, to whom nature had +given a certain degree of genius, have lived without sufficiently +exercising that genius, and have, therefore, bequeathed no fruits +of it to posterity at their death. + +A CORRESPONDENT. + + * * * * * + + +BLACKHEATH, KENT. + +(_For the Mirror_.) + + +It was here the Danish army lay a considerable time encamped in 1011; +and here that Wat Tyler, the Kentish rebel, mustered 100,000 men. Jack +Cade, also, who styled himself John Mortimer, and laid claim to the +crown, pretending that he was kinsman to the Duke of York, encamped +on this heath for a month together, with a large body of rebels, +which he had gathered in this and the neighbouring counties, in 1451; +and the following year Henry VI. pitched his royal pavilion here, +having assembled troops to withstand the force of his cousin, Edward, +Duke of York, afterwards Edward IV.; and here, against that king, the +bastard Falconbridge encamped. In 1497, the Lord Audley; Flemmock, an +attorney; and Joseph, the blacksmith, encamped on this place in the +rebellion they raised against Henry VII.; and here they were routed, +with a loss of upwards of 2,000 on the spot, and 14,000 prisoners. + +In 1415, the lord mayor and aldermen of London, with 400 citizens in +scarlet, and with white and red hoods, came to Blackheath, where they +met the victorious Henry V. on his return from France, after the +famous battle of Agincourt: from Blackheath they conducted his majesty +to London. In 1474, the lord mayor and aldermen, attended by 500 +citizens, also met Edward IV. here, on his return from France. It +appears also to have been usual formerly to meet foreign princes, and +other persons of high rank, on Blackheath, on their arrival in +England. On the 2lst of December, 1411, Maurice, Emperor of +Constantinople, who came to solicit assistance against the Turks, was +met here with great magnificence by Henry IV.; and in 1416 the Emperor +Sigismund was met here, and from thence conducted in great pomp to +London. In 1518, the lord admiral of France and the archbishop of +Paris, both ambassadors from the French king, with above 1,200 +attendants, were met here by the admiral of England and above 500 +gentlemen; and the following year Cardinal Campejus, the pope's +legate, being attended hither by the gentlemen of Kent, was met by +the Duke of Norfolk, and many noblemen and prelates of England; and in +a tent of cloth of gold he put on his cardinal's robes, richly +ermined, and from hence rode to London, Here also Henry VIII. met the +Princess Anne of Cleves in great state and pomp. + +HALBERT H. + + * * * * * + + + + +THE NOVELIST + +THE WOES OF WEALTH. + +_By the Rev. G. Croly_. + + +A retired barrister, living happily with his wife and children on a very +moderate patrimony, has suddenly the misery to have a large fortune left +him.--Time pressed. I set off at day break for London; plunged into the +tiresome details of legateeship; and after a fortnight's toil, infinite +weariness, and longings to breathe in any atmosphere unchoked by a +million of chimneys, to sleep where no eternal rolling of equipages +should disturb my rest, and to enjoy society without being trampled on +by dowagers fifty deep, I saw my cottage roof once more. + +But where was the cheerfulness that once made it more than a palace to +me? The remittances that I had made from London were already conspiring +against my quiet. I could scarcely get a kiss from either of my girls, +they were in such merciless haste to make their dinner "toilet." My kind +and comely wife was actually not to be seen; and her apology, delivered +by a coxcomb in silver lace to the full as deep as any in (my rival) +the sugar-baker's service, was, that "his lady would have the honour +of waiting on me as soon as she was dressed." This was of course the +puppy's own version of the message; but its meaning was clear, and it +was ominous. + +Dinner came at last: the table was loaded with awkward profusion; but +it was as close an imitation as we could yet contrive of our opulent +neighbour's display. No less than four footmen, discharged as splendid +superfluities from the household of a duke, waited behind our four +chairs, to make their remarks on our style of eating in contrast with +the polished performances at their late master's. But Mrs. Molasses had +exactly four. The argument was unanswerable. Silence and sullenness +reigned through the banquet; but on the retreat of the four gentlemen +who did us the honour of attending, the whole tale of evil burst forth. +What is the popularity of man? The whole family had already dropped from +the highest favouritism into the most angry disrepute. A kind of little +rebellion raged against us in the village: we were hated, scorned, and +libelled on all sides. My unlucky remittances had done the deed. + +The village milliner, a cankered old carle, who had made caps and +bonnets for the vicinage during the last forty years, led the battle. +The wife and daughters of a man of East Indian wealth were not to be +clothed like meaner souls; and the sight of three London bonnets in my +pew had set the old sempstress in a blaze. The flame was easily +propagated. The builder of my chaise-cart was irritated at the +handsome barouche in which my family now moved above the heads of +mankind. The rumour that champagne had appeared at the cottage roused +the indignation of the honest vintner who had so long supplied me +with port: and professional insinuations of the modified nature of +this London luxury were employed to set the sneerers of the village +against me and mine. Our four footmen had been instantly discovered by +the eye of an opulent neighbour; and the competition was at once +laughed at as folly, and resented as an insult. Every hour saw some of +my old friends falling away from me. An unlucky cold, which seized one +of my daughters a week before my return, had cut away my twenty years' +acquaintance, the village-doctor, from my cause; for the illness of an +"heiress" was not to be cured by less than the first medical authority +of the province. The supreme Aesculapius was accordingly called in; +and his humbler brother swore, in the bitterness of his soul, that he +would never forget the affront on this side of death's door. The +inevitable increase of dignity which communicated itself to the +manners of my whole household did the rest; and if my wife held her +head high, never was pride more peevishly retorted. Like the +performers in a pillory, we seemed to have been elevated only for the +benefit of a general pelting. + +These were the women's share of the mischief; but I was not long without +administering in person to our unpopularity. The report of my fortune +had, as usual, been enormously exaggerated; and every man who had a debt +to pay, or a purchase to make, conceived himself "bound to apply first +to his old and excellent friend, to whom the accommodation for a month +or two must be such a trifle." If I had listened to a tenth of those +compliments, "their old and excellent friend" would have only preceded +them to a jail. In some instances I complied, and so far only showed my +folly; for who loves his creditor? My refusal of course increased the +host of my enemies; and I was pronounced purse-proud, beggarly, and +unworthy of the notice of the "true gentlemen, who knew how to spend +their money." + +Yet, though I was to be thus abandoned by my fox-hunting friends, I was +by no means to feel myself the inhabitant of a solitary world. If the +sudden discovery of kindred could cheer me under my calamities, no man +might have passed a gayer life. For a long succession of years I had not +seen a single relative. Not that they altogether disdained even the +humble hospitalities of my cottage, or the humble help of my purse; on +the contrary, they liked both exceedingly, and would have exhibited +their affection in enjoying them as often as I pleased. + +But I had early adopted a resolution, which I recommend to all men. I +made use of no disguise on the subject of our mutual tendencies. I knew +them to be selfish, beggarly in the midst of wealth, and artificial in +the fulness of protestation. I disdained to play the farce of civility +with them. I neither kissed nor quarrelled with them; but I quietly shut +my door, and at last allowed no foot of their generation inside it. They +hated me mortally in consequence, and I knew it. I despised them, and +I conclude they knew that too. But I was resolved that they should not +despise me; and I secured that point by not suffering them to feel that +they had made me their dupe. The nabob's will had not soothed their +tempers; and I was honoured with their most smiling animosity. + +But now, as if they were hidden in the ground like weeds only waiting +for the shower, a new and boundless crop of relationship sprang up. +Within the first fortnight after my return, I was overwhelmed with +congratulations from east, west, north, and south; and every postscript +pointed with a request for my interest with boards and public offices of +all kinds; with India presidents, treasury secretaries, and colonial +patrons, for the provision of sons, nephews, and cousins, to the third +and fourth generation. + +My positive declarations that I had no influence with ministers were +received with resolute scepticism. I was charged with old obligations +conferred on my grandfathers and grandmothers; and, finally, had the +certain knowledge that my gentlest denials were looked upon as a +compound of selfishness and hypocrisy. Before a month was out, I had +extended my sources of hostility to three-fourths of the kingdom, and +contrived to plant in every corner some individual who looked on himself +as bound to say the worst he could of his heartless, purse-proud, and +abjured kinsman. + +I should have sturdily borne up against all this while I could keep the +warfare out of my own county. But what man can abide a daily skirmish +round his house? I began to think of retreating while I was yet able to +show my head; for, in truth, I was sick of this perpetual belligerency. +I loved to see happy human faces. I loved the meeting of those old and +humble friends to whose faces, rugged as they were, I was accustomed. +I liked to stop and hear the odd news of the village, and the still +odder versions of London news that transpired through the lips of our +established politicians. I liked an occasional visit to our little club, +where the exciseman, of fifty years standing was our oracle in politics; +the attorney, of about the same duration, gave us opinions on the drama, +philosophy, and poetry, all equally unindebted to Aristotle; and my mild +and excellent father-in-law, the curate, shook his silver locks in +gentle laughter at the discussion. I loved a supper in my snug parlour +with the choice half dozen; a song from my girls, and a bottle after +they were gone to dream of bow-knots and bargains for the next day. + +But my delights were now all crushed. Another Midas, all I touched had +turned to gold; and I believe in my soul that, with his gold, I got +credit for his asses' ears. + +However, I had long felt that contempt for popular opinion which every +man feels who knows of what miserable materials it is made--how much +of it is mere absurdity--how much malice--how much more the frothy +foolery and maudlin gossip of the empty of this empty generation. +"What was it to me if the grown children of our idle community, the +male babblers, and the female cutters-up of character, voted me, in +their commonplace souls, the blackest of black sheep? I was still +strong in the solid respect of a few worth them all." + +Let no man smile when I say that, on reckoning up this Theban band of +sound judgment and inestimable fidelity, I found my muster reduced to +three, and those three of so unromantic a class as the grey-headed +exciseman, the equally grey-headed solicitor, and the curate. + +But let it be remembered that a man must take his friends as fortune +wills; that he who can even imagine that he has three is under rare +circumstances; and that, as to the romance, time, which mellows and +mollifies so many things, may so far extract the professional _virus_ +out of excisemen and solicitor, as to leave them both not incapable of +entering into the ranks of humanity. + + * * * * * + + + + +SPIRIT of DISCOVERY. + + * * * * * + +SPECIFIC GRAVITIES. + +_Table_ + +Showing the proportion per cent, of alcohol contained in different +fermented liquors. + + per cent. + + Port wine 25.83 + Ordinary port 23.71 + Madeira 24.42 + Sherry 19.81 + Lisbon 18.94 + Bucellas 18.49 + Cape Madeira 22.94 + Vidonia 19.25 + Hermitage 17.43 + Claret 17.11 + Burgundy 16.60 + Sauterne 14.22 + Hock 14.37 + Champagne 13.80 + Champagne (sparkling) 12.80 + Vin de Grave 13.94 + Cider from 5.50 to 9.87 + Perry (average) 7.26 + Burton ale 8.88 + Edinburgh 6.20 + Dorchester 5.56 + Brown stout 6.80 + London porter (average) 4.20 + Brandy 53.39 + Rum 53.68 + Gin 51.60 + + +The figures set down opposite each liquor, exhibit the quantity of +alcohol per cent. by measure in each at the temperature of 60°. Port, +Sherry and Madeira, contain a large quantity of alcohol; that Claret, +Burgundy, and Sauterne, contain less; and that Brandy contains as much +as 53 per cent. of alcohol. In a general way, we may say, that the +strong wines in common use, contain as much as a fourth per cent. of +alcohol. + + +_Extraordinary Effect of Heat_. + +During Captain Franklin's recent voyage, the winter was so severe, +near the Coppermine River, that the fish froze as they were taken out +of the nets; in a short time they became a solid mass of ice, and were +easily split open by a blow from a hatchet. If, in the completely +frozen state, they were thawed before the fire, they revived. This is +a very remarkable instance of how completely animation can be +suspended in cold-blooded animals. + +J.G.L. + + +_Method of Softening Cast-Iron_. + +The following method of rendering cast-iron soft and malleable may be +new to some of your readers:--It consists in placing it in a pot +surrounded by a soft red ore, found in Cumberland and other parts of +England, which pot is placed in a common oven, the doors of which +being closed, and but a slight draught of air permitted under the +grate; a regular heat is kept up for one or two weeks, according to +the thickness and weight of the castings. The pots are then withdrawn, +and suffered to cool; and by this operation the hardest cast metal is +rendered so soft and malleable, that it may be welded together, or, +when in a cool state, bent into almost any shape by a hammer or vice. + +W.G.C. + + +_Washing Salads, Cresses, &c._. + +A countryman was seized with the most excruciating pain in his +stomach, and which continued for so long a period, that his case +became desperate, and his life was even despaired of. In this +predicament, the medical gentleman to whom he applied administered to +him a most violent emetic, and the result was the ejection of the +larva, and which remained alive for a quarter of an hour after its +expulsion. Upon questioning the man as to how it was likely that the +insect got into his stomach, he stated that he was exceedingly fond of +watercresses, and often gathered and eat them, and, possibly, without +taking due care, in freeing them from any aquatic insects they might +hold. He was also in the frequent habit of lying down and drinking the +water of any clear rivulet when he was thirsty; and thus, in any of +these ways, the insect, in its smaller state, might have been +swallowed, and remained gradually increasing in size until it was +ready for the change into the beetle state; at times, probably, +preying upon the inner coat of the stomach, and thus producing the +severe pains complained of by the sufferer. + +We are surprised we do not hear more of the effects of swallowing the +eggs or larva of insects, along with raw salads of different kinds. We +would strongly recommend all families who can afford it, to keep in +their sculleries a cistern of salt water, or, if they will take the +trouble of renewing it frequently, of lime and water; and to have all +vegetables to be used raw, first plunged in this cistern for a minute, +and then washed in pure fresh water.--_Gardener's Magazine_. + + +_Insects on Trees_. + +Mr. Johnson, of Great Totham, is of opinion that smearing trees with +oil, to destroy insects on them, injures the vegetation, and is not a +certain remedy. He recommends scrubbing the trunks and branches of the +trees every second year, with a hard brush dipped in strong brine of +common salt. This effectually destroys insects of all kinds, and moss; +and the stimulating influence of the application and friction is very +beneficial. + + +_Manna_. + +The manna of the larch is thus procured:--About the month of June, +when the sap of the tree is most luxuriant, it produces small white +drops, of a sweet glutinous matter, like Calabrian manna, which are +collected by the peasants early in the morning before the sun +dissipates them.--_Med. Bot_. + + +_Electricity on Plants_. + +It is very easy to kill plants by means of electricity. A very small +shock, according to Cavallo, sent through the stem of a balsam, is +sufficient to destroy it. A few minutes after the passage of the shock, +the plant droops, the leaves and branches become flaccid, and its life +ceases. A small Leyden phial, containing six or eight square inches of +coated surface, is generally sufficient for this purpose, which may even +be effected by means of strong sparks from the prime conductor of a +large electrical machine. The charge by which these destructive effects +are produced, is probably too inconsiderable to burst the vessels of the +plant, or to occasion any material derangement of its organization; and, +accordingly, it is not found, on minute examination of a plant thus +killed by electricity, that either the internal vessels or any other +parts have sustained perceptible injury. + + * * * * * + + + + +STANGING. + +[Illustration: Stanging.] + + +Two correspondents have favoured us with the following illustrations +of this curious custom: one of them (W.H.H.) has appended to his +communication a pen and ink sketch, from which the above engraving is +copied:-- + +(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.) + +In Westmoreland this custom is thus commenced:--When it is known that +a man has "fallen out" with his wife, or beaten or ill-used her, the +townspeople procure a long pole, and instantly repair to his house; +and after creating as much riot and confusion before the house as +possible, one of them is hoisted upon this pole, borne by the +multitude. He then makes a long speech opposite the said house, +condemning, in strong terms, the offender's conduct--the crowd also +showing their disapprobation. After this he is borne to the +market-place, where he again proclaims his displeasure as before; and +removes to different parts of the town, until he thinks all the town +are informed of the man's behaviour; and after endeavouring to extort +a fine from the party, which he sometimes does, all repair to a +public-house, to regale themselves at his expense. Unless the +delinquent can ill afford it, they take his "goods and chattels," if +he will not surrender his money. The origin of this usage I am +ignorant of, and shall be greatly obliged by any kind correspondent of +the MIRROR who will explain it. + +W.H.H. + +(_To the Editor of the Mirror_.) + +At Biggar, in Lanarkshire, as well as in several other places in +Scotland, a very singular ancient practice is at times, though but +rarely, revived. It is called riding the stang. When any husband is +known to treat his wife extremely ill by beating her, and when the +offence is long and unreasonably continued, while the wife's character +is unexceptionable, the indignation of the neighbourhood, becoming +gradually vehement, at last breaks out into action in the following +manner:--All the women enter into conspiracy to execute vengeance upon +the culprit. Having fixed upon the time when their design is to be put +into effect, they suddenly assemble in a great crowd, and seize the +offending party. They take care, at the same time, to provide a stout +beam of wood, upon which they set him astride, and, hoisting him +aloft, tie his legs beneath. He is thus carried in derision round the +village, attended by the hootings, scoffs, and hisses of his numerous +attendants, who pull down his legs, so as to render his seat in other +respects abundantly uneasy. The grown-up men, in the meanwhile, remain +at a distance, and avoid interfering in the ceremony. And it is well +if the culprit, at the conclusion of the business, has not a ducking +added to the rest of the punishment. Of the origin of this custom we +know nothing. It is well known, however, over the country; and within +these six years, it was with great ceremony performed upon a weaver +in the Canongate of Edinburgh. + +This custom can scarcely fail to recall to the recollection of the +intelligent reader, the analogous practice among the Negroes of +Africa, mentioned by Mungo Park, under the denomination of the +mysteries of Mumbo Jumbo. The two customs, however, mark, in a +striking manner, the different situations of the female sex in the +northern and middle regions of the globe. From Tacitus and the +earliest historians we learn, that the most ancient inhabitants of +Europe, however barbarous their condition in other respects might be, +lived on terms of equal society with their women, and avoided the +practice of polygamy; but in Africa, where the laws of domestic +society are different, the husbands, as the masters of a number of +enslaved women, find it necessary to have recourse to frauds and +disgraceful severities to maintain their authority; whereas in Europe +we find, among the common people, a sanction for the women to protect +each other, by severities, against the casual injustice committed by +the ruling sex. + +CHARLES STUART. + + * * * * * + + + + +NOTES OF A READER. + + * * * * * + + +CHRISTMAS SCRAPS. + + +We have _spiced_ our former volumes, as well as our present number, +with two or three articles suitable to this jocund season; but we +cannot deny ourselves the pleasure of adding "more last words." People +talk of Old and New Christmas with woeful faces; and a few, more +learned than their friends, cry _stat nominis umbra_,--all which may +be very true, for aught we know or care. Swift proved that mortal MAN +is a _broomstick_; and Dr. Johnson wrote a sublime meditation on a +_pudding_; and we could write a whole number about the midnight mass +and festivities of Christmas, pull out old Herrick and his Ceremonies +for Christmasse--his yule log--and Strutt's Auntient Customs in Games +used by Boys and Girls, merrily sett out in verse; but we leave +such relics for the present, and seek consolation in the thousand +wagon-loads of poultry and game, and the many million turkeys +that make all the coach--offices of the metropolis like so many +charnel-houses. We would rather illustrate our joy like the Hindoos +do their geography, with rivers and seas of liquid amber, clarified +butter, milk, curds, and intoxicating liquors. No arch in antiquity, +not even that of Constantine, delights us like the arch of a baron of +beef, with its soft-flowing sea of gravy, whose silence is only broken +by the silver oar announcing that another guest is made happy. Then +the pudding, with all its Johnsonian associations of "the golden grain +drinking the dews of the morning--milk pressed by the gentle hand of +the beauteous milk-maid--egg, that miracle of nature, which Burnett +has compared to creation--and salt, the image of intellectual +excellence, which contributes to the foundation of a pudding." As long +as the times spare us these luxuries, we leave Hortensius to his +peacocks; Heliogabalus to his dishes of cocks-combs; and Domitian to +his deliberations in what vase he may boil his huge turbot. We have +epicures as well as had our ancestors; and the wonted fires of +Apicius and Sardanapalus may still live in St. James's-street and +Waterloo-place; but commend us to the board, where each guest, like +a true feeler, brings half the entertainment along with him. This +brings us to notice _Christmas_, a Poem, by Edward Moxon, full of +ingenuousness and good feeling, in _Crabbe-like_ measure; but, +captious reader, suspect not a pun on the poet of England's +hearth--for a more unfortunate name than Crabbe we do not recollect. + +Mr. Moxon's is a modest little octavo, of 76 pages, which may be read +between the first and last arrival of a Christmas party. As a +specimen, we subjoin the following:-- + + + Hail, Christmas! holy, joyous time, + The boast of many an age gone by, + And yet methinks unsung in rhyme, + Though dear to bards of chivalry; + Nor less of old to Church and State, + As authors erudite relate. + If so, my harp, thou friend to me, + Thy chords I'll touch right merrily-- + + +Then a fire-side picture of Christmas in the country:-- + + + The doughty host has gather'd round + Those most for wit and mirth renown'd, + And soon each neighbouring Squire will be + With all the world in charity-- + Its cares and troubles all forgetting, + Good-humour'd joke alone abetting. + 'Tis good and cheering to the soul + To see the ancient wassail bowl + No longer lying on its face, + Or dusty in its hiding place. + It brings to mind a day gone by, + Our fathers and their chivalry-- + It speaks of courtly Knight and Squire, + Of Lady's love, and Dame, and Friar, + Of times, (perchance not better now,) + When care had less of wrinkled brow-- + When she with hydra-troubled mien, + Our greatest enemy, the Spleen, + Was seldom, or was never seen. + + Now pledge they round each other's name, + And drink to Squire and drink to Dame, + While here, more precious far than gold, + Sits womanhood, with modest eye-- + Glances to her the truth unfold, + She shall not pass unheeded by. + T'was _woman_ that with health did greet, + When Vortigern did Hengist meet-- + 'Twas fair Rowena, Saxon maid, + In blue-ey'd majesty array'd, + Presented 'neath their witching roll + To British Chief the wassail bowl. + She touch'd to him, nor then in vain, + He back return'd the health again. + Thus 'tis with feelings kind as true + They drink the tribute ever due, + Nor would they less, tho' truth denied it, + Their love for woman would decide it. + + Right merry now the hours they pass, + Fleeting thru jocund pleasure's glass, + The yule-clog too burns bright and clear, + Auspicious of a happy year: + While some with joke, and some with tale + But all with sweeter mulled ale, + Pass gaily time's swift stream along, + With interlude of ancient song-- + And as each rosy cup they drain, + Bounty replenishes again. + An happy time! hours like to these, + Tho' fleeting, never fail to please. + Who reigns, who riots, or who sings, + Or who enjoys the smiles of kings. + What preacher follows half the town; + Who pleads, with or without a gown; + Who rules his wife, or who the state; + Who little, or who truly great; + What matters light the world amuse, + Where half the other half abuse; + Whether it shall be peace or war, + Or we remain just as we are-- + Is all as one to those we see + Around the cup of jollity. + Old age, with joke will still crack on, + And story will be dwelt upon-- + Till Christmas shows his ruddy nose, + They will not seek for night's repose, + Nor this their jovial meeting close. + + +A FRIEND. + + +In utter prostration, and sacred privacy of soul, I almost think now, +and have often felt heretofore, man may make a confessional of the +breast of his brother man. Once I had such a friend--and to me he was a +priest. He has been so long dead, that it seems to me now, that I have +almost forgotten him--and that I remember only that he once lived, and +that I once loved him with all my affections. One such friend alone can +ever, from the very nature of things, belong to any one human being, +however endowed by nature and beloved of heaven. He is felt to stand +between us and our upbraiding conscience. In his life lies the +strength--the power--the virtue of ours--in his death the better half of +our whole being seems to expire. Such communion of spirit, perhaps, can +only be in existences rising towards their meridian; as the hills of +life cast longer shadows in the westering hours, we grow--I should not +say more suspicious, for that may be too strong a word--but more silent, +more self-wrapt, more circumspect--less sympathetic even with kindred +and congenial natures, who will sometimes, in our almost sullen moods or +theirs, seem as if they were kindred and congenial no more--less devoted +to Spirituals, that is, to Ideas, so tender, true, beautiful, and +sublime, that they seem to be inhabitants of heaven though born of +earth, and to float between the two regions, angelical and divine--yet +felt to be mortal, human still--the Ideas of passions, and desires, and +affections, and "impulses that come to us in solitude," to whom we +breathe out our souls in silence, or in almost silent speech, in utterly +mute adoration, or in broken hymns of feeling, believing that the holy +enthusiasm will go with us through life to the grave, or rather knowing +not, or feeling not, that the grave is any thing more for us than a mere +word with a somewhat mournful sound, and that life is changeless, +cloudless, unfading as the heaven of heavens, that lies to the uplifted +fancy in blue immortal calm, round the throne of the eternal +Jehovah.--_Noctes_--_Blackwood's Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + +ENGLISH LANDSCAPE PAINTING. + + +The English school of landscape painting has come to be of the first +rank, and the contemporaries of Turner, Constable, Calcott, Thomson, +Williams, Copley Fielding, and others whom we might name even with +these masters, have no reason to reproach themselves with any neglect +of their merits. The _truth_ with which these artists have delineated +the features of British landscape is, according to general admission, +unmatched by even the most splendid exertions of foreign schools in +the same department.--_Quarterly Rev._. + + * * * * * + + +PANORAMA OF THE RHINE. + + +Mr. Leigh, who is well known as the publisher of the best English +guides all over the continent, has just added to their number a +_Panorama of the Rhine_ and the adjacent country, from Cologne to +Mayence, with maps of the routes from London to Cologne, and from +thence to the sources of the Rhine. The _Panorama_ is designed from +nature by F.W. Delkeskamp, and engraved by John Clark. It consists of +a beautiful aqua-tint engraving, upwards of seven feet in length, and +six inches in width, representing the course of the Rhine, and its +picturesque banks, studded with towns and villages; whilst +steam-boats, bridges, and islets are distinctly shown in the river. It +would be difficult to convey to our readers an idea of the extreme +delicacy with which the plate is engraved; and, to speak dramatically, +the entire success of the representation. A more interesting or useful +companion for the tourist could scarcely be conceived; for the +_picture_ is not interrupted by the names of the places, but these +are judiciously introduced in the margins of the plate. In short, +every town, village, fortress, convent, mansion, mountain, dale, +field, and forest, are here represented. By way of Supplement to the +Plate, a Steam-boat Companion is appended, describing the principal +places on the Rhine, with the population, curiosities, _inns_, &c. We +passed an hour over the engraving very agreeably, coasting along till +we actually fancied ourselves in one of the apartments of the Hotel of +Darmstadt at Mayence, when missing our high conic bumper of +Rudesheim--we found our thanks were due to the artist for the luxury +of the illusion. The _Panorama_ folds up in a neat portfolio, and +occupies little more room than a quire of letter paper. + + * * * * * + + +EDINBURGH IN SUMMER. + + +A' The lumms smokeless! No ae jack turnin' a piece o' roastin' beef +afore ae fire in ony ae kitchen in a' the New Toon! Streets and +squares a' grass-grown, sae that they micht be mawn! Shops like +bee-hives that hae de'd in wunter! Coaches settin' aff for Stirlin', +and Perth, and Glasgow, and no ae passenger either inside or out--only +the driver keepin' up his heart wi' flourishin' his whup, and the +guard, sittin' in perfect solitude, playin' an eerie spring on his +bugle-horn! The shut-up play-house a' covered ower wi' bills that seem +to speak o' plays acted in an antediluvian world! Here, perhaps, a +leevin' creter, like ane emage, staunin' at the mouth o' a close, or +hirplin' alang, like the last relic o' the plague. And oh! but the +stane-statue o' the late Lord Melville, staunin' a' by himsell up in +the silent air, a hunder-and-fifty feet high, has then a ghastly +seeming in the sky, like some giant condemned to perpetual +imprisonment on his pedestal, and mournin' ower the desolation of the +city that in life he loved so well.--_Noctes--Blackwood's Magazine_. + + + * * * * * + + +NAVARINO. + + +A Correspondent has sent us a copy of some "Stanzas written in +Commemoration of the Battle of Navarin," written by A. Grassie, +_piper_ on board H.M.S. Glasgow, R.N.--or "by a sailor in the +engagement." One of the twelve stanzas is as follows:-- + + + To save the sacrifice of life, + Was valiant Codrington's design; + And for those Turks it had been good. + If to his terms they would incline: + They fired upon the Dartmouth's boat, + And killed some of its gallant men; + But that distinguished frigate had + Complete revenge at Navarin. + + +This specimen of nautical numbers reminds us of Addison's suggestion +for setting the Chelsea and Greenwich pensioners to write accounts of +the battles in which they had served; and we hope others will follow +Mr. Grassie's example in these _piping_ times of peace. + + * * * * * + + +CARVING AND GILDING. + + +A point of some importance in the internal decoration of palatial +houses, viz. the introduction of "ornaments of the age of Louis XIV." +is now canvassing among connoisseurs, or rather among those who direct +the public taste. Some of our readers are probably aware that the +mansion built for the late Duke of York, and Crockford's Club-house, +are embellished in this style, which, to say the best, is gorgeous and +expensive, without displaying good taste. We ought to leave such +matters to the classical Mr. T. Hope, who has written a folio volume +on "Household Furniture and Internal Decorations;" or the Carvers, +Gilders, and Cabinet-Makers' Societies might sit in council on the +subject. The question is interesting to all lovers of the fine arts, +and to men of taste generally. + + * * * * * + +Is there any thing in this? + +"It were no preposterous conceit to affirm, that nature typifies in +each individual man the several offices and orders which our +commonwealth distributes to the several ranks and functionaries of the +state. There are the Operative Energies, Talents, Passions, Appetites, +good servants all, but bad masters, useful citizens, always to be +controlled, but never oppressed, and most effective when they are +neither pampered nor starved. There, too, is the Executive Will; +Prudence, Chancellor of the Exchequer; Self-love, minister for the +Home Department; Observation, Secretary of Foreign Affairs; Poetry, +over the Woods and Forests; Lord Keeper Conscience, a sage, +scrupulous, hesitating, head-shaking, hair-splitting personage, whose +decisions are most just, but too slow to be useful, and who is the +readier to weep for what is done, than to direct what should be done; +Wit, Manager of the House of Commons, a flashy, either-sided +gentleman, who piques himself on never being out; and Self-Denial, +always eager to vacate his seat and accept the Chiltern +Hundreds."--_Blackwood's Mag._ + + * * * * * + + +MAN. + + +Man is so pugnacious an animal, that even the quakers, who in all +other things seem effectually to have subdued this part of their +animal nature, carry on controversy, whenever they engage in it, tooth +and nail.--_Quarterly Rev._ + + * * * * * + + + + +RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS, + + * * * * * + + +GLEANINGS ON GLUTTONY. + +_Against Voracitie and immoderate drinking, instanced by sundry +histories_. + + +Vitellius, an Emperour of Rome, was among divers other his notorious +vices so luxuriously given, that at one supper he was served with two +thousand fishes of divers kindes, and seven thousand flying foules; he +was afterward drawne through the streets with a halter about his neck, +and shamefully put to death. + +But what shall we wonder at emperours prodigalities, when of later +yeares a simple Franciscan frier, Peter de Ruere, after hee had +attained to the dignitie of cardinall by the favour of the pope, his +kinsman, hee spent in two yeares, in which he lived at Rome, in feasts +and banquets, two hundred thousand crownes, besides his debts, which +were as much more. + +In our time Muleasses, King of Tunis, was so drowned in pleasures, +that being expelled from his kingdome for his vices, after his returne +from Germanie, being denyed of ayd hee sought of the Emperour Charles +the Fifth, he spent an hundred crownes upon the dressing of a peacocke +for his owne mouth. And that hee might with more pleasure heare +musicke, he used to cover his eyes.--But the judgment of God fell upon +him; for his sone or brother dispossessed him of his kingdome, and +provided him a remedie that his sight should be no longer annoyance to +his hearing, causing his eyes to be put out with a burning hot iron. +He that is given to please his senses, and delighteth in the excesse +of eating and drinking, may, as Sallust saith, bee called animal, for +hee is unworthy the name of a man. For wherin can a man more resemble +brute beasts, and degenerate from his angelicall nature, than to serve +his belly and his senses? But if our predecessors exceeded us in +superfluitie of meats, wee can compare and goe beyond them in drinking +and quaffing. + +King Edgar so much detested this vice of drunkennesse, that hee set an +order that no man should drinke beyond a certaine ring, made round +about the glasses and cups, of purpose for a marke. + +Anacharsis saith, that the first draught is to quench the thirst, the +second for nourishment, the third for pleasure, the fourth for +madnesse. + +Augustine Lercheimer reporteth a strange historie of three quaffers in +Germany, in the yeare one thousand five hundred and fortie nine; these +three companions were in such a jollity after they had taken in their +cups, according to the brutish manner of that countrey, that with a +coale they painted the divell on the wall, and dranke freely to him, +and talked to him as though hee had been present. The next morning +they were found strangled, and dead, and were buried under the +gallowes. + +Surfeits maketh worke many times for the physician, who turning R into +D giveth his patient sometime a Decipe for a Recipe; and so payeth +deerely for his travell that hastneth him to his end. Horace calleth +such men that give themselves to their belly, a beast of Arcadia that +devoureth the grasse of the earth. + +Cornelius Celsus giveth this counsell when men come to meat: _Nunquam +utilis nimia satietatis, saepe inutilis nimia abstinentia_; over-much +satiety is never good, over-much abstinence is often hurtfull. + +Mahomet desirous to draw men to the liking of him and his doctrine, +and perceiving the pronenesse of men to luxuriousness and fleshly +pleasures, yet dealt more craftily in his _Alcoran_, than to persuade +them that felicitie consisted in the voluptuousenesse and pleasures of +this life, which he knew would not be believed nor followed but of a +few, and those the more brutish sort, but threatened them with a kind +of hell, and gave them precepts tending somewhat more to civilitie and +humanitie, and promised his followers a paradise in the life to come, +wherin they should enjoy all maner of pleasures which men desire in +this world; as faire gardens environed with pleasant rivers, sweet +flowers, all kinde of odoriferous savours, most delicate fruits, +tables furnished with most daintie meats, and pleasant wines served in +vessels of gold, &c. &c. + +The Egyptians had a custome not unmeet to bee used at the carousing +banquets; their manner was, in the middest of their feasts to have +brought before them anatomie of a dead body dried, that the sight and +horror thereof putting them in minde to what passe themselves should +one day come, might containe them in modesty. But peradventure things +are fallen so far from their right course, that that device will not +so well serve the turne, as if the carousers of these later daies were +persuaded, as Mahomet persuaded his followers when hee forbad them the +drinking of wine, that in every grape there dwelt a divell. But whun +they have taken in their cups, it seemeth that many of them doe feare +neither the divell nor any thing else. + +Lavater reporteth a historie of a parish priest in Germanie, that +disguised himselfe with a white sheete about him, and at midnight came +into the chamber of a rich woman that was in bed, and fashioning +himself like a spirit, hee thought to put her in such feare, that shee +would procure a conjuror or exorcist to talke with him, or else speake +to him herselfe. The woman desired one of her kinsmen to stay with her +in her chamber the next night. This man making no question whether it +were a spirit or not, instead of conjuration or exorcisme, brought a +good cudgell with him, and after hee had well drunke to encrease his +courage, knowing his hardinesse at those times to bee such, that all +the divels in hell could not make him affraide, hee lay downe upon a +pallat, and fell asleepe. The spirit came into the chamber againe at +his accustomed houre, and made such a rumbling noyse, that the +exorcist (the wine not being yet gone out of his head) awaked, and +leapt out of his bed, and toward the spirit hee goeth, who with +counterfeit words and gesture, thought to make him afraid. But this +drunken fellow making no account of his threatnings, Art thou the +divel? quoth he, then I am his damme; and so layeth upon him with his +cudgell, that if the poore priest had not changed his divel's voyce, +and confessed himselfe to be Hauns, and rescued by the woman that then +knew him, he had bin like not to have gone out of the place alive. + +This vice of drunkennesse, wherein many take over-great pleasure, was +a great blemish to Alexander's virtues. For having won a great part of +Asia, he laid aside that sobrietie hee brought forth of Macedon, and +gave himselfe to the luxuriousenesse of those people whom he had +conquered. + +That King, Cambyses, tooke over-great plaasure in drinking of wine; +and when he asked Prexaspes, his secretary, what the Persians said of +him, he answered, that they commended him highly, notwithstanding they +thought him over-much given to wine, the king being therewith very +angry, caused Prexaspes' sonne to stand before him, and taking his bow +in his hand, Now (quoth he) if I strike thy son's heart, it will then +appeare that I am not drunk, but that the Persians doe lye; but if I +misse his heart, they may be believed. And when he had shot at his +son, and found his arrow had pierced his heart, he was very glad; and +told him that he had proved the Persians to be lyars. + +Fliolmus, king of the Gothes, was so addicted to drinking, that hee +would sit a great part of the night quaffing and carousing with his +servants. And as on a time he sate after his accustomed and beastly +manner carousing with them, his servants being as drunke as he, threw +the king, in sport, into a great vessell full of drinke, that was set +in the middist of the hall for their quaffing, where he ridiculously +and miserably ended his life. + +Cineas being ambassador to Pyrrhus, as he arrived in Egypt, and saw +the exceeding height of the vines of that country, considering with +himselfe how much evill that fruit brought forth to men, sayd, that +such a mother deserved justly to be hanged so high, seeing she did +beare so dangerous a child as wine was. Plato considering the hurt +that wine did to men, sayd, that the gods sent wine downe hither, +partly for a punishment of their sinnes, that when they are drunke, +one might kill another. + +Paulus Diacrius reporteth a monstrous kinde of quaffing, between foure +old men at a banquet, which they made of purpose. Their challenge was, +two to two, and he that dranke to his companion must drinke so many +times as hee had yeares; the youngest of the foure was eight and +fiftie yeares old; the second three-score and three; the third +four-score and seven; the fourth four-score and twelve; so that he +which dranke least, dranke eight-and-fifty bowles full of wine, and so +consequently, according to their yeares, whereof one dranke four-score +and twelve bowles. + +The old Romanes, when they were disposed to quaff lustily, would +drinke so many carouses as there were letters in the names of their +mistresses, or lovers; so easily were they overcome with this vice, +who by their virtue some other time, became masters of the world; but +these devices are peradventure stale now; there be finer devices to +provoke drunkennesse. + +In the time of Antonius Pius, the people of Rome being given to drinke +without measure, he commanded that none should presume to sell wine +but in apothecaries' shops, for the sicke or diseased. + +Cyrus, of a contrary disposition to the gluttons and carousers, in his +youth gave notable signes and afterward like examples of sobrietie and +frugalitie, when he was monarch of the Persians. For, being demanded +when he was but a boy, of his grandfather, Astyages, why he would +drink no wine, because, said hee, I observed yesterday when you +celebrated the feast of your nativitie, so strange a thing, that it +could not be but that som man had put poison into all the wine that ye +drank; for at the taking up of the table, there was not one man in his +right minde. By this it appeareth, how rare a matter it was then to +drinke wine, and a thing to be wondered at to see men drunke. For when +the use of wine was first found out, it was taken for a thing +medicinable, and not used for a common drinke, and was to be found +rather in apothecaries' shops than in tavernes. What a great +difference there was betweene the frugalitie of the former ages and +the luxuriousnesse of these latter dayes, these few examples will +shew. This Cyrus, as hee marched with his army, one asking him what he +would have provided for his supper, hee answered, bread; for I hope, +sayth hee, wee shall find a fountain to serve us of drinke. When Plato +had beene in Sicilia, being asked what new or strange thing hee had +seene; I have seene, sayth hee, a monster of nature, that eateth twice +a day. For Dionysius whom he meant, first brought the custome into +that country. For it was the use among the Hebrewes, the Grecians, the +Romanes, and other nations, to eat but once a day. But now many would +thinke they should in a short time be halfe famished, if they should +eat but twice a day; nay, rather whole dayes and nights bee scant +sufficient for many to continue eating and quaffing. Wee may say with +the poet-- + + + Tempora mutantur et nos mutamur in illis. + The times are changed and we are changed in them. + + +By the historie of the swine (which by the permission of God, were +vexed by the divell) we be secretly admonished that they which spend +their lives in pleasures and deliciousnesse, such belly-gods as the +world hath many in these daies, that live like swine, shall one day be +made a prey for the divell; for seeing they will not be the temple of +God, and the house of the Holy Ghost, they must of necessitie be the +habitation of the divell. Such swine, sayth one, be they that make +their paradise in this world, and that dissemble their vices, lest +they should bee deprived of their worldly goods. + + * * * * * + + + + +OLD POETS + + * * * * * + +[The author of the following stanzas is JOHN BYROM, an ingenious poet, +famous also as the inventor of a System of Stenography. He was born in +1691, and died in 1763. Byrom wrote poetry, or rather verse, with +extraordinary facility. His pastoral, entitled "Colin and Phoebe," +first published in the "Spectator," when the author was quite young, +has been much admired. As literary curiosities, his poems are too +interesting to be neglected; and their oddity well entitles them to +the room they fill. The following poem is perfectly in the manner of +Elizabeth's age; and we have selected it as a seasonable dish for the +present number--trusting that its rich vein of humour may find a +kindred flow in the hearts of our readers.] + + +CARELESS CONTENT. + + + I am content, I do not care, + Wag as it will the world for me; + When fuss and fret was all my fare, + I got no ground as I could see: + So when away my caring went, + I counted cost, and was content. + + With more of thanks and less of thought, + I strive to make my matters meet; + To seek what ancient sages sought, + Physic and food in sour and sweet: + To take what passes in good part, + And keep the hiccups from the heart. + + With good and gentle humour'd hearts, + I choose to chat where'er I come, + Whate'er the subject be that starts: + But if I get among the glum, + I hold my tongue to tell the truth, + And keep my breath to cool my broth. + + For chance or change of peace or pain; + For Fortune's favour or her frown; + For lack or glut, for loss or gain, + I never dodge, nor up nor down: + But swing what way the ship shall swim, + Or tack about with equal trim. + + I suit not where I shall not speed, + Nor trace the turn of ev'ry tide; + If simple sense will not succeed + I make no bustling, but abide: + For shining wealth, or scaring woe, + I force no friend, I fear no foe. + + Of ups and downs, of ins and outs, + Of the're i'th' wrong, and we're i'th' right, + I shun the rancours and the routs, + And wishing well to every wight, + Whatever turn the matter takes, + I deem it all but ducks and drakes. + + With whom I feast I do not fawn, + Nor if the folks should flout me, faint; + If wonted welcome he withdrawn, + I cook no kind of a complaint: + With none dispos'd to disagree, + But like them best who best like me. + + Not that I rate myself the rule + How all my betters should behave; + But fame shall find me no man's fool, + Nor to a set of men a slave. + I love a friendship free and frank, + And hate to hang upon a hank. + + Fond of a true and trusty tie, + I never loose where'er I link; + Tho' if a bus'ness budges by, + I talk thereon just as I think; + My word, my work, my heart, my hand, + Still on a side together stand. + + If names or notions make a noise, + Whatever hap the question hath, + The point impartially I poise, + And read or write, but without wrath; + For should I burn, or break my brains, + Pray, who will pay me for my pains? + + I love my neighbour as myself, + Myself like him too, by his leave-- + Nor to his pleasure, pow'r, or pelf, + Came I to crouch, as I conceive: + Dame Nature doubtless has design'd + A man the monarch of his mind. + + Now taste and try tills temper, sirs, + Mood it and brood it in your breast-- + Or if ye ween, for worldly stirs. + That man does right to mar his rest, + Let me be deft and debonair, + I am content, I do not care. + + * * * * * + + + + +The Gatherer + +"A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." SHAKSPEARE. + + * * * * * + + +FRENCH TRAGEDY. + + +The following _recipe_ for a French tragedy is not unworthy of Swift. +"Take two good characters, and one wicked, either a tyrant, a traitor, +or a rogue. Let the latter set the two former by the ears and make +them very unhappy for four acts, during which he must promulgate all +manner of shocking maxims, interlarded with poisons, daggers, oracles, +&c.; while the good characters repeat their catechism of moralities. +In the fifth act, let the power of the tyrant be overthrown by an +insurrection, or the treason of the villain be discovered by some +episodical personage, and the worthy folks be preserved. Above all, +don't forget, if there is any difference subsisting between France and +England, or between the parliament and the clergy, to allude to it, +and you will have fabricated such a piece as shall be applauded three +times a week for three weeks together at the Comédie Française." + + * * * * * + + +OLD AND NEW CHRISTMAS. + + + Some time, far back, my Christmas fare + Was turkey and a chine, + With puddings made of things most rare, + And plenty of good wine. + When times grew worse, I then could dine + On goose or roasted pig; + Instead of wine, a glass of grog, + And dance the merry jig. + When still grown worse, I then could dine + On beef and pudding plain; + Instead of grog, some good strong beer-- + Nor did I then complain. + But now my joy is turn'd to grief, + For Christmas day is here; + No turkey, chine, or goose, or beef, + No wine, no grog, no beer. + +_Dec. 25, 1828_. + + * * * * * + + +THE IRISH SCHOOLBOY. + + + --When I'm late for school, + The excuse 'twill be my mother, Sir; + And when that one won't do, + I'll try and make another, Sir. + + Fer my mother is a good man, + And so, Sir, is my daddy O-- + And 'twill not be my fault + If I'm not their own Paddy O. + + * * * * * + + +A "RALE" SHOEMAKER'S BILL. + + +"His Honur Mr. Trant, Esquire, Dr. to James Barret, Shoemaker." + + £. s. d. + + To clicking and sowling Miss Clara 0 2 6 + To strapping and welting Miss Biddy 0 1 0 + To binding and closing Miss Mary 0 1 6 + ________ + Paid, July 14, 1828. £0 5 0 + + +JAMES BARRET. + +_Croker's Legends of the Lakes_. + + * * * * * + + +PATHETIC REJOINDER. + + +A celebrated literary character, in a northern metropolis, had a black +servant, whom he occasionally employed in beating covers for woodcocks +and other game. On one occasion of intense frost, the native of +Afric's sultry shores was nearly frozen to death by the cold and wet +of the bushes, which sparkled, (but not with fire-flies,) and on +which, pathetically blowing his fingers, he was heard to exclaim, in +reply to an observation of his master, that "the woodcocks were very, +scarce," "Ah, massa, me wish woodcock never been!" + + * * * * * + + +WHO TOLD YOU? + + +"Lady Racher is put to bed," said Sir Boyle Roche to a friend. "What +has she got?"--"Guess."--"A boy?"--"No, guess again."--"A girl?"--"Who +told you?" + + * * * * * + + +The supplement to VOL. XII., containing Titles, Preface, Index, &c., +with a fine Steel Plate PORTRAIT of T. MOORE, Esq. and an Original +Memoir, is published with the present Number. + + * * * * * + + +LIMBIRD'S EDITION OF THE + +_Following Novels are already Published:_ + + s. d. + + Mackenzie's Man of Feeling 0 6 + Paul and Virginia 0 6 + The Castle of Otranto 0 6 + Almoran and Hamet 0 6 + Elizabeth, or the Exiles of Siberia 0 6 + The Castles of Athlin and Dunbayne 0 6 + Rasselas 0 8 + The Old English Baron 0 8 + Nature and Art 0 8 + Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield 0 10 + Sicilian Romance 1 0 + The Man of the World 1 0 + A Simple Story 1 4 + Joseph Andrews 1 6 + Humphry Clinker 1 8 + The Romance of the Forest 1 8 + The Italian 2 0 + Zeluco, by Dr. Moore 2 6 + Edward, by Dr. Moore 2 6 + Roderick Random 2 6 + The Mysteries of Udolpho 3 6 + + * * * * * + +_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Strand, London; sold by +ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and +Booksellers_. + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11445 *** |