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diff --git a/11384-0.txt b/11384-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b79f45f --- /dev/null +++ b/11384-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1460 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11384 *** + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 11384-h.htm or 11384-h.zip: + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/3/8/11384/11384-h/11384-h.htm) + or + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/1/3/8/11384/11384-h.zip) + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 10, No. 275.] SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1827. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + + +KEW PALACE. + +[Illustration: Kew Palace.] + + +Innumerable are the instances of princes having sought to perpetuate +their memories by the building of palaces, from the _Domus Aurea_, +or golden house of Nero, to the comparatively puny structures of our +own times. As specimens of modern magnificence and substantial comfort, +the latter class of edifices may be admirable; but we are bound to +acknowledge, that in boldness and splendour of design, they cannot +assimilate to the labours of antiquity, much of whose stupendous +character is to this day preserved in many series of interesting +ruins:-- + + Whilst in the progress of the long decay, + Thrones sink to dust, and nations pass away. + +As a record of this degeneracy, near the western corner of Kew Green +stands the new palace, commenced for George III., under the direction +of the late James Wyatt, Esq. The north front, the only part open to +public inspection, possesses an air of solemn, sullen grandeur; but it +very ill accords with the taste and science generally displayed by its +nominal architect. + +To quote the words of a contemporary, "this Anglo-Teutonic, +castellated, gothized structure must be considered as an abortive +production, at once illustrative of bad taste and defective judgment. +From the small size of the windows and the diminutive proportion of +its turrets, it would seem to possess + + "'Windows that exclude the light, + And passages that lead to nothing.'" + +Upon the unhappy seclusion of the _royal_ architect, the works were +suspended, and it now remains unfinished. Censure and abuse have, +however, always been abundantly lavished on its architecture, whether +it be the result of royal caprice or of professional study; but the +taste of either party deserves to be taxed with its demerits. + +The northern front was intended to be appropriated to the use of +domestics; the whole building is rendered nearly indestructible by +fire, by means of cast-iron joists and rafters, &c., certainly in this +case an unnecessary precaution, since the whole pile is shortly to be +pulled down. The foundation, too, is in a bog close to the Thames, +and the principal object in its view is the dirty town of Brentford, +on the opposite side of the river; a selection, it would seem, of +_family_ taste, for George II. is known to have often said, +when riding through Brentford, "I do like this place, it's so like +Yarmany." + +A modern tourist, in "A Morning's Walk from London to Kew," +characterizes the new palace as "the _Bastile palace_, from its +resemblance to that building, so obnoxious to freedom and freemen. On +a former occasion," says he, "I have viewed its interior, and I am at +a loss to conceive the motive for preferring an external form, which +rendered it impracticable to construct within it more than a series of +large closets, boudoirs, and rooms like oratories." The latter part of +this censure is judiciously correct; but the epithet "bastile" is +perhaps too harsh for some ears. + +The _old palace_ at Kew formerly belonged to the Capel family, and +by marriage became the property of Samuel Molyneux, Esq., secretary +to George II. when prince of Wales. The late Frederic, prince of Wales, +took a long lease of the house, which he made his frequent residence; +and here, too, occasionally resided his favourite poet, James Thomson, +author of "The Seasons." It is now held by his majesty on the same +tenure. The house contains some good pictures, among which is a set of +Canaletti's works; the celebrated picture of the Florence gallery, by +Zoffany, (who resided in the neighbourhood,) was removed several years +since. The pleasure-grounds, which contain 120 acres, were laid out by +Sir William Chambers, one of the greatest masters of ornamental +English gardening. Altogether they form a most delightful suburban +retreat, and we hope to take an early opportunity of noticing them +more in detail. + +The old mansion opposite the palace was taken on a long lease by +Queen Caroline of the descendants of Sir Richard Lovett, and has been +inhabited by different branches of the royal family: and here his +present majesty was educated, under the superintendance of the late +Dr. Markham, archbishop of York. This house was bought, in 1761, for +the late Queen Charlotte, who died here November 17, 1818. + +Apart from these courtly attractions, Kew is one of the most +interesting of the villages near London. On Kew Green once stood a +house, the favourite retirement of Sir Peter Lely. In the church and +cemetery, too, are interred Meyer, the celebrated miniature-painter, +Gainsborough, and Zoffany. Their tombs are simple and unostentatious; +but other and more splendid memorials are left to record their genius. + +The premature fate of Kew Palace renders +it at this moment an object of public +curiosity; while the annexed engraving +may serve to identify its site, when posterity + "Asks where the fabric stood." + + * * * * * + + +THE NUPTIAL CHARM. + +(For the Mirror.) + + + There is a charm in wedded bliss. + That leaves each rapture cold to this; + There is a soft endearing spell, + That language can but faintly tell. + + 'Tis not the figure, form, nor face, + 'Tis not the manner, air, nor grace, + 'Tis not the smile nor sparkling eye, + 'Tis not the winning look nor sigh. + + There is a charm surpassing these, + A pleasing spell-like pleasure's breeze! + A joy that centres in the heart, + And doth its balmy sweets impart! + + 'Tis not the lure of beauty's power, + The skin-deep magnet of an hour; + It is--_affection's_ mutual glow, + That does the nuptial charm bestow! + + UTOPIA. + + * * * * * + + + +FINE ARTS. + + +RAPHAEL SANZIO D'URBINO. + + +In No. 273 of the Mirror, _P.T.W._ has noticed the _Cartoons_ +of Raphael; and I therefore solicit the reader's attention to the +subjoined remarks on that master's unsurpassed genius. + +Raphael Sanzio d'Urbino was the pupil of Pietro Perugino, but +afterwards studied the works of Leonardo di Vinci and Michael Angelo. +He excelled every modern painter, and was thought to equal the +ancients; though he did not design naked figures with so much +knowledge as Michael Angelo, who was more eminently skilled in +anatomy; neither did he paint in so graceful a style as the Venetians; +but he had a much more happy manner of disposing and choosing his +subjects than any other artist who has lived since his time. His +admirable choice of attitudes, ornaments, draperies, and expression, +can surely never be equalled by the most successful _aspirant_ in the +fine arts. He has an undisputed title to the prince of painters; for, +notwithstanding his premature death, he produced the most enchanting +representations of the sublime and beautiful. A painter will ever +derive much benefit from the study of all Raphael's pictures; +especially from the Martyrdom of Saint Felicitas; the Transfiguration; +Joseph explaining Pharaoh's Dream; and the School of Athens. Among the +wonders of art with which the School of Athens abounds, we may select +that of four youths attending to a sage mathematician, who is +demonstrating some theorem. One of the boys is listening with profound +reverence to the reasoning of his master; another discovers a greater +quickness of apprehension; while the third is endeavouring to explain +it to the last, who stands with a gaping countenance, utterly unable +to comprehend the learned man's discourse. Expression, which was +Raphael's chief excellence, and in which no other master has well +succeeded, may be seen in the above picture to perfection. Besides his +grand historical works, he executed portraits in a good style; and was +also an admirable architect. In person, he was handsome, and +remarkably well made, his manners being polite and unaffected. He +never refused to impart to others what he knew himself; by which +conduct he became esteemed in private, as much as he was adored in +public. + +This master's grand works are principally at Rome, in the Vatican; in +the palace, Florence; Versailles; and the Palais Royal, France; the +king's collection, Naples; and in the apartments at Hampton Court +Palace. His best scholars were Julio Romano, Polydore, Giovanni +d'Udine, and Gaudenzio, to all of whom he communicated the grand +_arcana_ of his wonderful art. + +G.W.N. + + * * * * * + + + +RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS. + + +Letter from the Princess, afterwards Queen, Elizabeth, to her sister, +Queen Mary, on her being ordered to the Tower, in consequence of a +suspicion that she was connected with Wyat's rebellion:-- + +"If any ever did try this old saynge, that a kinge's worde was more +than another man's othe, I most humbly beseche your majesty to verefie +it in me, and to remember your last promis and my last demande, that I +be not condemned without answer and due profe: wiche it semes that now +I am, for that without cause provid I am by your counsel frome you +commanded to go unto the Tower; a place more wonted for a false +traitor, than a tru subject. Wiche thogth I knowe I deserve it not, +yet in the face of al this realme aperes that it is provid; wiche I +pray God, I may dy the shamefullist dethe that ever any died, afore I +may mene any suche thinge: and to this present hower I protest afor +God (who shal juge my trueth whatsoever malice shal devis) that I +never practised, consiled, nor consentid to any thinge that might be +prejudicial to your parson any way, or daungerous to the State by any +mene. And therefor I humbly beseche your Majestie to let me answer +afore your selfe, and not suffer me to trust to your counselors; yea +and that afore I go to the Tower, if it be possible; if not, afore I +be further condemned. Howbeit, I trust assuredly, your Highnes to wyl +give me leve to do it afor I go; for that thus shamfully I may not be +cried out on, as now I shalbe; yea and without cause. Let consciens +move your Highnes take some bettar way with me, than to make me be +condemned in al mens sigth, afor my desert knowen. Also I most humbly +beseche your Highnes to pardon this my boldnes, wiche innocency +procures me to do, togither with hope of your natural kindnes; wiche I +trust wyl not se me cast away without desert: wiche what it is, I wold +desier no more of God, but that you truly knewe. Wiche thinge I thinke +and beleve you shal never by report knowe, unless by your selfe you +hire. I have harde in my time of many cast away, for want of comminge +to the presence of ther Prince: and in late days I harde my Lorde of +Sommerset say, that if his brother had bine sufferd to speke with him, +he had never sufferd: but the perswasions wer made to him so gret, +that he was brogth in belefe that he coulde not live safely if the +Admiral lived; and that made him give his consent to his dethe. Thogth +thes parsons ar not to be compared to your majestie, yet I pray God, +as ivel perswations perswade not one sistar again the other; and al +for that the have harde false report, and not harkene to the trueth +knowin. Therefor ons again, kniling with humblenes of my hart, bicause +I am not sufferd to bow the knees of my body, I humby crave to speke +with your higthnis; wiche I wolde not be so bold to desier, if I knewe +my selfe most clere as I knowe myselfe most tru. And as for the +traitor Wiat, he migth paraventur writ me a lettar; but, on my faithe, +I never receved any from him. And as for the copie of my lettar sent +to the Frenche kinge, I pray God confound me eternally, if ever I sent +him word, message, token, or lettar by any menes: and to this my +truith I will stande in to my dethe. + +"Your Highnes most faithful subject that hathe bine from the +beginninge, and wylbe to my ende, + +"ELIZABETH." + +I humbly crave but only one worde of answer from your selfe. + +_Ellis's Original Letters_. + + * * * * * + + + +THE NOVELIST. + +No. CXI. + + +THE MUTINY. + + + ----O God! + Had you but seen his pale, pale blanched cheek! + He would not eat.--O Christ! + + THE BERYL. + +In the summer of the year 18--, I was the only passenger on board the +merchantman, Alceste, which was bound to the Brazils. One fine +moonlight night, I stood on the deck, and gazed on the quiet ocean, on +which the moon-beams danced. The wind was so still, that it scarcely +agitated the sails, which were spread out to invite it. I looked +round; it was the same on every side--a world of waters: not a single +object diversified the view, or intercepted the long and steady glance +which I threw over the ocean. I have heard many complain of the +sameness and unvarying uniformity of the objects which oppose +themselves to the eye of the voyager. I feel differently; I can gaze +for hours, without weariness, on the deep, occupied with the thought +it produces; I can listen to the rush of the element as the vessel +cleaves it, and these things have charms for me which others cannot +perceive. + +I heard, on a sudden, a noise, which seemed to proceed from the +captain's cabin, and I thought I could distinguish the voices of +several men, speaking earnestly, though in a suppressed tone. I +cautiously drew near the spot from whence the noise arose, but the +alarm was given, and I could see no one. I retired to rest, or rather +to lie down; for I felt that heavy and foreboding sense of evil +overpower me, which comes we know not how or wherefore; and I could +not sleep, knowing that there had been disputes between the captain +and his men, respecting some point of discipline, and I feared to +think what might be the consequences. I lay a long time disturbed with +these unpleasant reflections; at last, wearied with my thoughts, my +eyes closed, and I dropped to sleep. But it was not to that refreshing +sleep which recruits the exhausted spirits, and by awhile "steeping +the senses in forgetfulness," renders them fitter for exertion on +awakening. My sleep was haunted with hideous and confused dreams, and +murder and blood seemed to surround me. I was awakened by convulsive +starts, and in vain sought again for quiet slumber; the same images +filled my mind, diversified in a thousand horrid forms. Early in the +morning, I arose, and went above, and the mild sea breeze dispelled my +uneasy sensations. + +During the whole of the day nothing seemed to justify the fears that +had tormented me, and everything went on in its regular course. The +men pursued their occupations quietly and in silence, and I thought +the temporary fit of disaffection was passed over. Alas! I remembered +not that the passions of men, like deep waters, are most to be +suspected when they seem to glide along most smoothly. Night came on, +and I retired to rest more composed than on the preceding evening. I +endeavoured to convince myself that the noises I had heard were but +the fancies of a disturbed imagination, and I slept soundly. Ill-timed +security! About midnight I was awakened by a scuffling in the vessel. +I hastened to the spot; the captain and one of his officers were +fighting against a multitude of the ship's crew. In a moment after I +saw the officer fall. Two fellows advanced to me, and, clapping +pistols to my breast, threatened instant death, if I stirred or spoke. +I gazed on the bloody spectacle; the bodies, which lay around, +swimming in gore, testified that the mutineers could not have +accomplished their aim with impunity. I was horror-struck; a swimming +sensation came over my eyes, my limbs failed me, and I fell senseless. + +When I recovered, I found myself lying on a bed. Everything was still. +I listened in vain for a sound; I lay still a considerable time; at +last, I arose and walked about the ship, but could see no one. I +searched every part of the vessel; I visited the place of slaughter, +which I had, at first, carefully avoided; I counted nine dead bodies, +and the coagulated blood formed a loathsome mass around them; I +shuddered to think I was desolate--the companion of death. "Good God!" +said I, "and they have left me here alone!" The word sounded like a +knell to me. It now occurred to me, it was necessary the bodies should +be thrown overboard. I took up one of them, dragged it to the side, +and plunged it into the waves; but the dash of the heavy body into the +sea, reminded me more forcibly of my loneliness. The sea was so calm, +I could scarcely hear it ripple by the vessel's side. One by one I +committed the bodies to their watery grave. At last my horrible task +was finished. My next work was to look for the ship's boats, but they +were gone, as I expected. I could not bear to remain in the ship; it +seemed a vast tomb for me. I resolved to make some sort of raft, and +depart in it. This occupied two or three days; at length it was +completed, and I succeeded in setting it afloat. + +I lowered into it all the provision I could find in the ship, which +was but little, the sailors having, as I imagined, carried off the +remainder. All was ready, and I prepared to depart. I trembled at the +thought of the dangers I was about to encounter. I was going to commit +myself to the ocean, separated from it only by a few boards, which a +wave might scatter over the surface of the waters. I might never +arrive at land, or meet with any vessel to rescue me from my danger, +and I should be exposed, without shelter, and almost without food. I +half resolved to remain in my present situation; but a moment's +reflection dispelled the idea of such a measure. I descended; I stood +on my frail raft; I cut the rope by which it was fastened to the ship. +I was confused to think of my situation; I could hardly believe that I +had dared to enter alone on the waste of waters. I endeavoured to +compose myself, but in vain. As far as I could see, nothing presented +itself to my view but the vessel I had left; the sea was perfectly +still, for not the least wind was stirring. I endeavoured, with two +pieces of board, which supplied the place of oars, to row myself +along; but the very little progress I made alarmed me. If the calm +should continue, I should perish of hunger. How I longed to see the +little sail I had made, agitated by the breeze! I watched it from +morning to night; it was my only employment; but in vain. The weather +continued the same. Two days passed over; I looked at my store of +provisions; it would not, I found, last above three or four days +longer, at the farthest. They were quickly passing away. I almost gave +myself up for lost. I had scarcely a hope of escaping. + +On the fourth day since my departure from the ship, I thought I +perceived something at a distance; I looked at it intently--it was a +sail. Good heavens! what were my emotions at the sight! I fastened my +handkerchief on a piece of wood, and waved it, in hopes that it would +be observed, and that I should be rescued from my fearful condition. +The vessel pressed on its course; I shouted;--I knew they could not +hear me, but despair impelled me to try so useless an expedient. It +passed on--it grew dim--I stretched my eyeballs to see it--it +vanished--it was gone! I will not attempt to describe the torturing +feelings which possessed me, at seeing the chance of relief which had +offered itself destroyed. I was stupified with grief and +disappointment. My stock of provisions was now entirely exhausted, and +I looked forward with horror to an excruciating death. + +A little water which had remained, quenched my burning thirst. I +wished that the waves would rush over me. My hunger soon became +dreadful, but I had no means of relieving it. I endeavoured to sleep, +that I might for awhile, forget my torments; and my wearied frame +yielded for awhile to slumber. When I awoke I was not, however, +refreshed; I was weak, and felt a burning pain at my stomach. I became +hourly more feeble; I lay down, but was unable to rise again. My limbs +lost their strength; my lips and tongue were parched; a convulsive +shuddering agitated me; my eyes seemed darkened, and I gasped for +breath. + +The burning at my stomach now departed; I experienced no pain; but a +dull torpor came over me; my hands and feet became cold; I believed I +was dying, and I rejoiced at the thought. Presently I lost all thought +and feeling, and lay, without sense, on a few boards, which divided me +from the ocean. In this situation, as I was afterwards informed, I was +taken up by a small vessel, and carried to a seaport town. I slowly +recovered, and found that I alone, of all who were on board the vessel +in which I had embarked, had escaped death. The crew, who had departed +in the boats, after murdering the captain, had met their reward--the +boats were shattered against a rock. + +_December Tales._ + + * * * * * + + + +THE SELECTOR, AND LITERARY NOTICES OF NEW WORKS. + + +A STORM IN THE INDIAN SEAS. + + +While the sun was setting with even more than its usual brilliancy, +and leaving its path marked with streaks of gold, a bird hovered over +our heads, and suddenly alighted on our taffrail: it was one of +"Mother Carey's chickens," which by mariners are considered as +harbingers of ill, and generally of a furious storm. At a warning of +this kind I did not then feel disposed to take alarm; but there were +other warnings not to be slighted--the horizon to the east presented +the extraordinary appearance of a black cloud in the shape of a bow, +with its convex towards the sea, and which kept its singular shape and +position unchanged until nightfall. For the period too of twenty +minutes after the setting of the sun, the clouds to the north-west +continued of the colour of blood; but that which most attracted our +observation was, to us, a remarkable phenomenon--the sea immediately +around us, and, as far as the eye could discern by the light of the +moon, appeared, for about forty minutes, of a perfectly milk white. We +were visited by two more chickens of Mother Carey, both of which +sought refuge, with our first visiter, on the mainmast. We sounded, +but found no bottom at a hundred fathoms; a bucket of the water was +then drawn up, the surface of which was apparently covered with +innumerable sparks of fire--an effect said to be caused by the +animalculae which abound in sea-water: it is at all times common, but +the sparks are not in general so numerous, nor of such magnitude, as +were those which then presented themselves. The hand too, being dipped +in the water, and immediately withdrawn, thousands of them would seem +to adhere to it. A dismal hollow breeze, which, as the night drew on, +howled through our rigging, and infused into us all a sombre, +melancholy feeling, increased by gathering clouds, and the altogether +portentous state of the atmosphere and elements, ushered in the first +watch, which was to be kept by Thomson. + +About eight o'clock, loud claps of thunder, each in kind resembling a +screech, or the blast of a trumpet, rather than the rumbling sound of +thunder in Europe, burst over our heads, and were succeeded by vivid +flashes of forked lightning. We now made every necessary preparation +for a storm, by striking the top-gallant-masts, with their yards, +close reefing the topsails and foresail, bending the storm-staysail, +and battening down the main hatch, over which two tarpaulins were +nailed, for the better preservation of the cargo. We observed +innumerable shoals of fishes, the motions of which appeared to be more +than usually vivid and redundant. + +At twelve o'clock, on my taking charge of the deck, the scene bore a +character widely different from that which it presented but three +hours before. We now sailed under close-reefed maintopsail and +foresail. The sea ran high; our bark laboured hard, and pitched +desperately, and the waves lashed her sides with fury, and were +evidently increasing in force and size. Over head nothing was to be +seen but huge travelling clouds, called by sailors the "scud," which +hurried onwards with the fleetness of the eagle in her flight. Now and +then the moon, then in her second quarter, would show her disc for an +instant, but be quickly obscured; or a star of "paly" light peep out, +and also disappear. The well was sounded, but the vessel did not yet +make more water than what might be expected in such a sea; we, +however, kept the pumps going at intervals, in order to prevent the +cargo from sustaining damage. The wind now increased, and the waves +rose higher; about two o'clock A.M. the weather maintopsail-sheet gave +way; the sail then split to ribbons, and before we could clue it up, +was completely blown away from the bolt-rope. The foresail was then +furled, not without great difficulty, and imminent hazard to the +seamen, the storm staysail alone withstanding the mighty wind, which +seemed to gain strength every half-hour, while the sea, in frightful +sublimity, towered to an incredible height, frequently making a +complete breach over our deck. + +At four A.M. I was relieved by Thomson, who at daylight apprized me +that the maintopmast was sprung, and that the gale was increasing. +Scarcely had I gone on deck, when a tremendous sea struck us a little +"abaft the beam," carrying every thing before it, and washing +overboard hencoops, cables, water-casks, and indeed every movable +article on the deck. Thomson, almost by miracle, escaped being lost; +but having, in common with the lascars, taken the precaution to lash a +rope round his waist, we were able, by its means, to extricate him +from danger; at the same time the vessel made an appalling lurch, +lying down on her beam-ends, in which position she remained for the +space of two minutes, when the maintopmast, followed by the +foretopmast, went by the board with a dreadful crash; she then +righted, and we were all immediately engaged in going aloft, and with +hatchets cutting away the wreck, each of us being lashed with a rope +round the waist; ropes were also fastened across the deck, in parallel +lines, to hold on by; for such was the violence of the vessel's +motion, that without such assistance it would have been impossible to +stand. As for my Virginia, she was in her cot, hearing all that was +going forward on deck,--sensible of her danger, and a prey to the +apprehension of meeting a death similar to that of her prototype, and +equally dreadful. + +A drizzling shower now came on, and having continued for some time, +was at length succeeded by heavy rain, which having been converted +into sleet, was carried in flakes swiftly along the tops of the +towering mountains of sea; while the cold sensibly affected the +already exhausted lascars, at once disinclining them from exertion, +and incapacitating them from making any; some of them even sat down +like inanimate statues, with a fixed stare, and a deathlike hue upon +their countenances: the most afflicting circumstance was, their being +destitute of warm clothing, which they had neglected to provide +themselves with, as they ought to have done, out of the four months' +advance they received in Calcutta. All that I could spare was given to +Thomson; but unable to endure the sight of their misery, I distributed +among them many articles which I could ill spare,--sheets, shirts, +and blankets, except one of the latter, which I had reserved as a +provision against any further extreme of suffering which might yet +await us. There was one poor lascar, a simple inoffensive youth, about +nineteen, who was an object of the liveliest commiseration; he was +nearly naked, and in that state had been continually drenched by the +sea and rain, during the whole of the day and night; he was holding +his hands up to heaven in a supplicating attitude, and shaking +in an aguish fit; the tears fell in torrents down his cheeks, +while he uttered his plaints in loud and piercing lamentations. +Unable, at last, to witness his misery any longer, I rushed +down to my cabin--"Can you, Virginia, spare me this blanket without +feeling the cold too much yourself?--it is to save the life of a +fellow-creature."--"Yes, take it; but stay with me, or, under the +horrors I feel, I shall die in this cabin, and alone. I know we must +perish, and why not die together?" I entreated her to support herself +with all the fortitude she could collect, urged the impossibility of +my keeping her company, as every moment called for my assistance; and +assuring her there was no real danger, I hurried on deck with the +blanket, and wrapped the poor wretch in its folds. I thought he +would have worshipped me. + + * * * * * + +It was about four o'clock, on the fifth morning, that I ventured +into my cabin, to repose myself on my cot until daylight, more with +the persuasion that my presence would inspire Virginia with fresh +hopes, and, in consequence, better spirits, than that the storm had +in the least abated, or that the peril had become less imminent. +At six, Thomson, whom I had left in charge of the deck, aroused +me by bawling, in a voice necessarily raised to the highest pitch, +to make itself heard amidst the howling, or rather screaming of the +elements--"Naufragus!" I instantly jumped up, without waiting any +specific communication, and, on reaching the deck, found the pumps at +work, and was informed that we had five feet water in the hold, and +that the water was gaining upon us fast, notwithstanding the pumps had +been kept constantly going.--"Well," said Thomson, in a low tone, not +to be heard by the crew, "we'll do our best, as long as she floats, +but that cannot now be much longer--it's all over with us, depend upon +it!" There was no time for argument; the pumps were now the chief +object of our attention; and Thomson and myself, with the secunnies, +plied them incessantly, until we were ready to drop down with fatigue. + +In a short time we found that the water brought up by the pumps bore a +brownish colour, and, on tasting it, that it was sweet; so that it was +evident we were pumping up the sugar, which being contained in +baskets, was but ill protected against water. Such is the fondness for +life, that on the appearance of any sudden or immediate cause of +dissolution, any consideration unconnected with the paramount one of +preservation, is set at naught; thus, although I was sensible that my +valuable cargo was momentarily diminishing, and my property wasting +away, I then felt no disposition to regret my loss, the powers of my +mind, and the affections of my heart, being all engaged on higher +objects. + +Those lascars who could at all be brought to the pumps were in so +wretched and debilitated a state, as to require constant reliefs. For +one day and two nights, except a few short intervals, Thomson and +myself, with the secunnies, were at the pumps: at the end of that +time, our hands were blistered to such a degree, that the skin having +peeled off, the raw flesh appeared; our arms, thighs, and legs were so +dreadfully swelled, and our loins in such tormenting pain, as to make +it impossible for us to continue the exertion, without suffering +extreme agony; and nothing but the melancholy conviction that we must +continue our labour, or perish, could possibly have sustained us under +such hardships--hardships, however, which we had the heartfelt +satisfaction to find were so far from being useless, that on perusing +the sounding-rod, when pulled up from the well, (which we did under +feelings of extreme anxiety and eagerness,) we were convinced that the +water did not gain upon us. Our spirits, however, received no +encouragement from the appearance of the elements; the clouds were +black and frowning, and all around still bore a threatening +appearance, the hurricane indeed having rather increased than in the +slightest degree abated. + +The circumstance of our having on board so perishable and light a +cargo as soft sugar, it is remarkable, was the very means of our +preservation. Had it consisted of almost any other article, either of +pepper or of dead wood, we must inevitably have perished. To have +thrown overboard any heavy cargo, would, from the constant and heavy +breaches which the sea made over us, have been impossible. Neither +could the masts have been cut away, for the purpose of lightening the +vessel, in consequence of the imbecile condition of the crew; a +recourse to so hazardous a measure would, under our circumstances, +most likely have proved the cause of our destruction. As it was, from +constant pumping for three days, we found our vessel as light and +buoyant as a cork, and, with the exception of the baskets in which the +sugar had been stowed, as empty as when I first purchased her. + +Night approached, bringing with it additional horrors. The secunnies, +who had hitherto borne their hardships with admirable fortitude, now +began to droop, and to express a violent inclination for more rum, +although as much had been given them as they could possibly bear; +indeed, rum, with dough, half-baked, had formed their only sustenance +during the whole period of our sufferings. As for the pumps, we were +now so lightened, they did not require to be worked at all; but the +greatest dread we laboured under was from the dangerous condition of +the main and fore masts, that tottered to and fro, threatening to go +by the board every minute. Before the hour of sunset, a large bird, +called the albatross, with wings the length of four to five feet each, +skimmed along the surface of the waves, close to and around us; this +inspired the crew with hopes, as they supposed it to be a good omen. +It remained hovering near our unfortunate wreck for some minutes, +until it alighted on the waves, where it was seen riding perfectly at +ease, and with the majesty of a fine large swan, now on the summit of +a tremendous mountain of waters, and now in the ravines of a wide and +deep abyss. At length darkness once more encompassed us around, and +seemed to shut us out from even a ray of hope; the desponding few, +whose senses were still left them, apparently felt with more acuteness +than before, the desperation and horrors of their condition. At the +hour of eight P.M., however, the wind suddenly changed from south-east +to south-west, and soon appeared to be dying away. At this happy +circumstance, whereby a prospect of deliverance from the very depths +of despair was opened to us, the feelings manifested by the crew were +as singular as they were various; some shouted for joy--some +cried--others muttered prayers--while a few were still despondent, +presenting wild and savage-looking features, and seeming to regret +that the billows had not swallowed them up.--_Adventures of +Naufragus_. + + * * * * * + + +DAMP BEDS. + + +Clean sheets are not remarkably common at common inns, where, I am +informed, that the practice is to take them from the bed, sprinkle +them with water, to fold them down, and then put them in a press. When +they are wanted again, they are, literally speaking, shewn to the +fire, and in a reeking state laid on the bed. The traveller is tired +and sleepy, dreams of that pleasure or that business which brought him +from home, and the remotest thing from his mind is, that from the very +repose which he fancies has refreshed him, he has received the +rheumatism. The receipt, therefore, to sleep comfortably at inns, is +to take your own sheets, to have plenty of flannel gowns, and to +promise, and take care to pay, a handsome consideration for the +liberty of choosing your beds. Damp beds are oftenest found in inns +that are least visited; they ought to be carefully avoided, for they +not only produce dreadful disorders, but have often proved the death +of the person who has had the misfortune to sleep in them. Especially +in winter, not only examine the beds, to see whether they are quite +dry, but have the bedclothes in your presence put before the fire. +Just before you go to bed, order a pan of hot coals to be run through +it, then place a clean tumbler inverted between the sheets, and let it +remain there for a few minutes;--if on withdrawing it the slightest +cloud is observable on the inner surface, be certain that either the +bed or the sheets are damp: sleeping in the blankets is a +disagreeable, but the safest way of escaping such danger: there are +many persons in the habit of travelling, who make it a constant +practice. A wash leather sheet, about 8 feet by 5, is not an +unpleasant substitute for linen. But the only absolutely safe plan is, +to sleep in a bed which you are sure has been occupied the night +before; and that, must be the best-aired bed which was slept in by the +best-aired person!--Qy. The cook?--_The Traveller's Oracle_. + + * * * * * + + +BURMAN THIEVES. + + +The Burmans used to approach, on dark nights, on their hands and +knees, and often crawled close up to the sentinels, before they were +discovered; sometimes they carried off knapsacks and arms, and went +away with their booty unperceived. + +A laughable instance of their dexterity took place in the Great +Pagoda, on the night of the 2nd July. The soldiers, for several nights +previous, had missed some arms, although a sentry was before the door, +and they generally slept with their firelocks by their sides. This +evening, every one was on the alert, extra sentries were posted, and +every precaution taken to secure the marauders. When, on a sudden, the +alarm being given, the officer on duty, who was reposing in one of the +little temples, ran to the door and inquired what had occurred,--but +hearing that only a knapsack had been found in the grass, and that no +other traces existed of the depredators, he turned round to lie down +again, and, to his infinite astonishment, found his bed had vanished! +A light was in the room, and a servant sleeping near it, yet, +notwithstanding, the impudent thieves had also ransacked a basket, and +escaped with the contents! We since heard that the robbers were Burman +soldiers belonging to the camp at Kumaroot, whither they carried their +spoils. They certainly deserved infinite credit for the ingenuity they +manifested, and for the manner in which they turned the laugh against +us, by showing, that the very moment they chose for their +depredations, was one when a strict search was making after them. + +_Two Years in Ava_. + + * * * * * + + + +MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. + +No. XII. + + +KANEMBOO MARKET-WOMAN. + + +[Illustration] + +The people of Kanem, in Central Africa, are known by the name of +Kanemboo, and consist of tribes of Tibboos. The women are +good-looking, laughing negresses, and all but naked. Most of them have +a square or triangular piece of silver or tin hanging at the back of +the head, suspended from the hair, which is curiously and laboriously +trained, and no one of tender years has anything like a perfect head +of hair. From childhood the head is shaved, having only the top +covered; the hair from hence falls down quite round from the forehead +to the pole of the neck, and is then formed into one solid plait, +which in front lying quite flat just over the eyes, and behind being +turned up with a little curl, has just the appearance of an +old-fashioned coachman's wig in London. + +The women flock from the neighbouring negro villages to the weekly +fsug, or market, with baskets of gussut, gafooly, fowls, and honey, +which may be purchased by small pieces of coral amber of the coarsest +kind, and coloured beads. Major Denham, in his "Travels in Northern +and Central Africa," says "one merchant bought a fine lamb for two +bits of amber, worth, I should think, about two-pence each in Europe; +two needles purchased a fowl; and a handful of salt, four or five +good-sized fish from the lake (Tchad)." + + +SHOUAA WOMAN. + +_Kingdom of Bornou_. + + +[Illustration] + +The Shouaa Arabs are a very extraordinary race, and have scarcely any +resemblance to the Arabs of the north; they have fine open +countenances, with aquiline noses, and large eyes; their complexion is +a light copper-colour; they possess great cunning with their courage, +and resemble in appearance some of our best favoured gipsies in +England, particularly the _women_; and their Arabic is nearly pure +Egyptian. + +The best residences of the Shouaas consist of two enclosures, besides +one for their horses, cows, and goats. In the first of these divisions +is a circular hut, with a cupola top, well thatched with gussub straw, +something resembling that of the Indian corn; the walls are of the +same materials; a mud wall, of about two feet high, separates one part +from the rest, and here their corn is kept; and a bench of like +composition, at the opposite side, is their resting-place; this is +covered with mats; and spears and wooden bowls for water and milk, +hang on pegs, and complete the furniture; here is the master's own +apartment. In the second division are two huts, rather smaller, about +ten paces from each other, in which dwell his wives. + + + +AFRICAN FUNERALS. + + +The custom of burying the dead in the floor of dwelling-houses, is +prevalent on the Gold Coast of Africa, as far as that country is known +to Europeans. The ceremony is purely Pagan, and without any form, +except that of the females of the family of the deceased and their +friends making a mournful lamentation; and in some instances they work +their feelings up to such a degree of apparent sorrow, that their +conduct has every symptom of insanity. This scene of revelry is not a +little heightened by the profuse use of ardent spirits, which has so +powerful an attraction, that drummers, flute-players, bards, and +singing men come from great distances to partake of the libations; and +as the savage uproar lasts often for a week, it leads to every kind of +dissolute practice in both sexes. Another custom, or repetition of +this barbarous usage, frequently takes place seven years after the +demise of persons of consequence, which is still more expensive than +the former: as such are the baneful prejudices in favour of these +habits, that families have too frequently pawned their relatives to +raise money to defray the expense; they purchase cattle, sheep, goats, +and poultry, and with the assistance of what is brought by their +friends and acquaintances, they are enabled to keep up a scene of riot +for many days. The carcasses of animals sacrificed are not burned and +sown in the wind as in times of old, but the Fantees more wisely, eat +them, greater attention being paid to the flavour of the viands and +the fragrance of the strong liquor than to the manes of the dead. + + * * * * * + + + +SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS. + + +WILLY M'GEE'S MONKEY. + + +I dinna think that in a' nature there's a mair curiouser cratur than +a monkey. I mak this observe frae being witness to an extraordinar' +event that took place in Hamilton. Folk may talk as they like about +monkeys, and cry them down for being stupid and mischievous, I for +ane will no gang that length. Whatever they may be on the score +of mischief, there can be nae doubt, that, sae far as gumption is +concerned, they are just uncommon; and for wit and fun they would beat +ony man black and blue. In fact, I dinna think that monkeys are beasts +ava. I hae a half notion that they are just wee hairy men that canna, +or rather that winna speak, in case they be made to work like ither +folk, instead of leading a life of idleness. + +But to the point: I ance had a monkey, ane of the drollest-looking +deevils ye ever saw. He was gayan big for a monkey, and was hairy +a' ower, except his face and his bit hurdies, which had a degree of +bareness about them, and were nearly as saft as a lady's loof. Weel, +what think ye that I did wi' the beastie? Odds, man, I dressed him up +like a Heelandman, and put a kilt upon him, and a lang-tailed red +coat, and a blue bannet, which for security's sake I tied, woman-like, +below his chin wi' twa bits of yellow ribbon. I not only did this, but +I learnt him to walk upon his twa hinder legs, and to carry a stick +in his right hand when he gaed out, the better to support him in his +peregrinations. He was for a' the world like a wee man in kilts. + +Weel, it turned out in this manner, as ye shall hear. Ae afternoon +towards the glomin' I was oblegated to tak' a stap doun to the cross, +wi' a web under my arm, which I had finished for Mr. Weft, the muslin +manufacturer. By way of frolic, a gayan foolish ane I allow, I brocht +Nosey (the monkey's name,) alang wi' me. He had on, as for ordinar', +his Heeland dress, and walkit behint me, wi' the bit stick in his +hand, and his tail sticking out frae below his kilt, as if he had been +my flunky. It was, after a', a queer sicht, and, as may be supposed, I +drew a haill crowd of bairns after me, bawling out, "Here's Willy +M'Gee's monkey," and gi'eing him nits and gingerbread, and makin' as +muckle of the cratur as could be; for Nosey was a great favourite in +the town, and everbody likit him for his droll tricks, and the way he +used to girn, and dance, and tumble ower his head, to amuse them. + +On entering Mr. Weft's shop, I faund it empty; there wasna a leeving +soul within. I supposed he had gane out for a licht; and being gayan +familiar wi' him, I took a stap ben to the back shop, leaving Nosey in +the fore ane. I sat for twa or three minutes, but naebody made his +appearance. At last the front door, which I had ta'en care to shut +after me, opened, and I look't to see wha it could be, thinking that, +nae doubt, it was Mr. Weft, or his apprentice. It was neither the ane +nor the ither, but a strong middle-aged, red-faced Heelandman, wi' +specks on, and wi' a kilt and a bannet, by a' the world like my +monkey's. Now, what think ye Nosey was about a' this time? He was +sittin' behind the counter upon the lang three-leggit stool that stood +fornent Mr. Weft's desk, and was turning ower the leaves of his +ledger, wi' a look which, for auld-fashioned sagaciousness, was +wonderfu' to behold. I was sae tickled at the sight that I paid nae +sort of attention to the Heelandman, but continued looking frae the +back shop at Nosey, lauching a' the time in my sleeve--for I jealoused +that some queer scene would tak' place between the twa. And I wasna +far wrang, for the stranger, takin' out a pound frae his spleuchan, +handed it ower to the monkey, and speered at him, in his droll norlan +deealect, if he could change a note. When I heard this I thocht I +would hae lauched outricht; and naething but sheer curiosity to see +how the thing would end made me keep my gravity. It was plain that +Donald had ta'en Nosey for ane of his ain countrymen--and the thing +after a' wasna greatly to be wondered at, and that for three +reasons:-- + +Firstly, the shop was rather darkish. + +Secondly, the Heelandman had on specks, as I hae just said; and it was +likely on this account that he was rather short-sighted; and + +Thirdly, Nosey, wi' his kilt, and bannet, and red coat, was, to a' +intents and purposes, as like a human creatur as a monkey could weel +be. + +Nae sooner, then, had he got the note, than he opened it out, and +lookit at it wi' his wee glowrin', restless een, as if to see that it +wasna a forgery. He then shook his head like a doctor, when he's no +very sure what's wrang wi' a person, but wants to mak' it appear that +he kens a' about it--and continued in this style till the Heelandman's +patience began to get exhausted. + +"Can ye no change the note, old shentleman?" quo' Donald. Nosey gi'ed +his head anither shake, and looked uncommon wise. + +"Is the note no goot, sir?"' spak the Heelandman, a second time; but +the cratur, instead of answering him, only gi'ed anither of his wise +shakes, as much as to say, "I'm no very sure about it." At this Donald +lost temper. "If the note doesna please ye, sir," quo' he, "I'll thank +ye to gie me it back again, and I'll gang to some ither place." And he +stretchit out his hand to tak hand o't, when my frien' wi' the tail, +lifting up his stick, lent him sic a whack ower the fingers as made +him pu' back in the twinkling of an ee. + +"Got tamn ye, ye auld scounrel," said the man; "do ye mean to tak my +money frae me?" And he lifted up a rung big eneuch to fell a stot, and +let flee at the monkey; but Nosey was ower quick for him, and jumping +aside, he lichted on a shelf before ane could say Jock Robinson. Here +he rowed up the note like a baw in his hand, and put it into his coat +pouch like any rational cratur. Not only this, but he mockit the +Heelandman by a' manner of means, shooting out his tongue at him, +spitting at him, and girning at him wi' his queer outlandish +physiognomy. Then he would tak haud of his tail in his twa hands, and +wag it at Donald, and steeking his nieves, he would seem to threaten +him wi' a leatherin'. A'thegither he was desperate impudent, and +eneuch to try the patience of a saunt, no to spak o' a het-bluided +Heelandman. It was gude for sair een to see how Donald behavit on this +occasion. He raged like ane demented, misca'ing the monkey beyond +measure, and swearing as mony Gaelic aiths as micht hae sair'd an +ordinar man for a twalmonth. During this time, I never sterr'd a foot, +but keepit keeking frae the back shop upon a' that was ganging on. I +was highly delighted; and jealousing that Nosey was ower supple to be +easily catched, I had nae apprehension for the event, and remained +snug in my birth to see the upshot. + +In a short time, in comes Mr. Weft wi' a piece of lowing paper in his +hand that he had got frae the next door to licht the shop; and nae +sooner did Donald see him than he ax'd him for his note. + +"What note, honest man?" said Mr. Weft. + +"Got tamn," quo' Donald; "the note the auld scounrel, your +grandfather, stole frae me." + +"My grandfaither!" answered the ither wi' amazement. "I am thinking, +honest man, ye hae had a glass ower muckle. My grandfaither has been +dead for saxteen years, and I ne'er heard tell till now that he was a +fief." + +"Weel, weel, then," quo' the Heelandman, "I don't care naething about +it. If he's no your grandfaither, he'll be your faither, or your +brither, or your cousin." + +"My faither or my brither, or my cousin!" repeated Mr. Weft. "I maun +tell ye plainly, frien', that I hae neither faither, nor brither, nor +cousin of ony description on this side of the grave. I dinna +understand ye, honest man, but I reckon that ye hae sat ower lang at +the whisky, and my advice to ye is to stap awa hame and sleep it aff." + +At this speech the Heelandman lost a' patience, and lookit sae awfully +fairce, that ance or twice I was on the nick of coming forrit, and +explaining how matters really stood; but curiosity keepit me chained +to the back shop, and I just thocht I would bide a wee, and see how +the affair was like to end. + +"Pray, wha are you, sir?" said Donald, putting his hands in his sides, +and looking through his specks upon Mr. Weft, like a deevil incarnit. +"Wha are you, sir, that daar to speak to me in this manner?" + +"Wha am I?" said the ither, drapping the remnant of the paper, which +was burnin' close to his fingers. "I am Saunders Weft, manufacturir In +Hamilton--that's what I am." + +"And I am Tonald Campbell, piper's sister's son to his grace the +great, grand Tuke of Argyle," thundered out the Heelandman, wi' a +voice that was fearsome to hear. + +"And what about that?" quo' Mr. Weft, rather snappishly, as I thocht. +"If ye were the great, grand Duke of Argyle himself, as ye ca' him, +I'll no permit you to kick up a dust in my shop." + +"Ye scounrel," said Donald, seizing Mr. Weft by the throat, and +shaking him till he tottered like an aspen leaf, "div ye mean to speak +ill of his grace the Tuke of Argyle?" And he gi'ed him anither +shake--then, laying haud of his nose, he swore that he would pu't as +lang as a cow's tail, if he didna that instant restore him his lost +property. At this sicht I began to grew a' ower, and now saw the +needcessity of stapping ben, and saving my employer frae farther +damage, bodily and itherwise. Nae sooner had I made my appearance than +Donald let go his grip of Mr. Weft's nose, and the latter, in a great +passion, cried out, "William M'Gee, I tak ye to witness what I hae +sufferit frae this bluid-thirsty Heelandman! It's no to be endured in +a Christian country. I'll hae the law of him, that I will. I'll be +whuppit but I'll hae amends, although it costs me twenty pounds!" + +"What's the matter?" quo' I, pretending ignorance of the haill +concern. "What, in the name of Nebuchadnezzar, has set ye thegither by +the lugs?" Then Mr. Weft began his tale, how he had been collared and +weel nigh thrappled in his ain shop;--then the ither tauld how, in the +first place, Mr. Weft's grandfather, as he ca'd Nosey, had stolen his +note, and how, in the second place, Mr. Weft himsell had insulted the +great, grand Duke of Argyle. In a word, there was a desperate kick-up +between them, the ane threeping that he would tak the law of the ither +immediately. Na, in this respect Donald gaed the greatest lengths, for +he swore that, rather than be defeat, he wad carry his cause to the +house of lords, although it cost him thretty pounds sterling. I now +saw it was time to put in a word. + +"Houts-touts, gentlemen," quo' I, "what's the use of a' this +clishmaclaver? Ye've baith gotten the wrang sow by the lug, or my +name's no William M'Gee. I'll wager ye a pennypiece, that my monkey, +Nosey is at the bottom of the business." + +Nae sooner had I spoken the word, than the twa, looking round the +shop, spied the beastie sitting upon the shelf girning at them, and +putting out his tongue, and wiggle-waggling his walking-stick ower his +left elbow, as if he had been playing upon the fiddle. Mr. Weft at +this apparition set up a loud lauch; his passion left him in a moment, +when he saw the ridiculous mistake that the Heelandman had fa'en into, +and I thocht he would hae bursted his sides wi' evendown merriment. At +first Donald lookit desperate angry, and judging frae the way he was +twisting about his mouth and rowing his een, I opined that he intended +some deadly skaith to the monkey. But his gude sense, of which +Heelandmen are no a'thegither destitute, got the better of his anger, +and he roared and lauched like the very mischief. Nor was this a', for +nae sooner had he began to lauch, than the monkey did the same thing, +and held its sides in precisely the same manner, imitating his +actions, in the maist amusin' way imaginable. This only set Donald a +lauching mair than ever, and when he lifted up his nieve, and shook it +at Nosey in a gude humoured way, what think ye that the cratur did? +Odds man, he took the note frae his pouch, whare it lay rowed up like +a baw, and, papping it at Donald, hit him as fairly upon the nose, as +if it had been shot out of a weel-aimed musket. There was nae +resisting this. The haill three, or rather the haill four, for Nosey +joined us, set up a loud lauch; and the Heelandman's was the loudest +of a', showing that he was really a man of sense, and could tak a joke +as weel as his neighbours. + +When the lauchin' had a wee subsided, Mr. Campbell, in order to show +that he had nae ill wull to Mr. Weft, ax'd his pardon for the rough +way he had treated him, but the worthy manufacturer wadna hear o't. +"Houts, man," quo' he, "dinna say a word about it. It's a mistak +a'thegether, and Solomon himsell, ye ken, whiles gaed wrang." +Whereupon the Heelandman bought a Kilmarnock nichtcap, price +elevenpence happeny, frae Mr. Weft, and paid him wi' part of the very +note that brocht on the ferly I hae just been relating. But his gude +wull didna end here, for he insisted on takin' us a'--Nosey amang the +lave--to the nearest public, where he gi'ed us a frien'ly glass, and +we keepit tawking about monkeys, and what not, in a manner at ance +edifying and amusing to hear.--_Blackwood's Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + +SCOTCH SONG. + + + The lassie we love and the friend we can trust, + And a bumper to wash from our spirits the rust; + Then let gear-scraping carls make o' life catch-the-plack, + And strod to the de'il wi' the trash on their back. + + This life is a garden where all choose their posies: + In the spring of our youth let us gather the roses; + For brief is their bloom like the dews of the morn, + If you seek them too late you will find but a thorn. + + If Care steal amang us he's narrowly watch'd, + By a smile or a squeeze of the hand he's dispatch'd; + Or the arm of a friend should the stout villain meet, + One blink of true love lays him dead at your feet. + + Then fill up a glass to the absent and dear-- + May their lives be serene as their breasts are sincere; + And to crown our true bliss, let us give, ere we part-- + May we have in our arms whom we love in our heart. + + _London Weekly Review._ + + * * * * * + + + +THE SKETCH-BOOK. + +No. XLVII. + + +MATCHES IN TEENS. + + + "To marry!--Why, every man plays the fool once in his + life--but to marry is playing the fool all one's life + long."--CONGREVE. + +There is something so satisfactory in knowing at once the limit of +your fortunes--in making yourself secure in the first instance of that +happiness to which all your exertions are directed,--which is in fact +the end and aim of your worldly existence, and of all your worldly +toils--the enjoyment of domestic peace and love;--in quenching that +restless, burning anxiety, which is ever busy within the bosom of the +young and the aspiring. Marrying early, in fact, is taking time by the +forelock, and leading your future destinies after you, instead of +suffering yourself to be led and tossed about by them,--it is tearing +away the black veil from the brow of futurity, and perusing all her +lineaments in her own despite. It is [he continued with an oratorical +attitude] building your fate upon a rock--" + +"Ah!" I exclaimed, "stop there--that _rock_ is so commonplace." + +Harry laughed and went on with his argument.--"Besides, there is the +gratification of making yourself _considered_ in society--which no +single man is. A single man is a kind of protected or licensed +vagabond--rambling to and fro without stamp or mark, as Witwould might +say,--like a sheep that has been overlooked at tarring time. His home +is a desert to him,--and the love of social converse, which is so +natural, and so amiable at the same time keeps him eternally in a +state of fidgetty restlessness, which precludes all possibility of +serious and persevering labour. Only think of the horrors of a house +without a queen--Yawning servants, negligent housekeepers, extorting +tradespeople,--these and a thousand other annoyances, for which you +have no relief, because you cannot stoop to meddle or make in such +transactions--are the agitations which perpetually infest the domestic +commonwealth of a bachelor.--But turn your eyes into the house of +'Benedick, the married man'--He wears his rue with a difference, +indeed!--There is a sense of life, bustle, mirth, and happiness, in +the very air of the dwelling. To be greeted with smiles at your going +forth and coming in--to know that there is at least one who serves you +without a self-interest--to hear the joyous, feminine laugh, delicate +and temperate in the very whirlwind of its ecstacy, ring through the +mansion from hour to hour--to hear the little foot pattering about you +as you sit at your philosophic studies--to have a friend with whom you +can converse freely and without fear of present offence or future +disadvantage--and whose presence is not without its influence and its +charm, even when the call of a worldly ambition summons you to-- + "----Pursue + Your tasks, in social silence too," +with just sense enough to understand all you can say to her--and +nothing so wise as to mortify you at any time by setting you right. +Then, instead of the natty primness of your bachelor's apartment, you +have your eyes feasted by that elegant confusion of the little +sanctuary--the charm of which cannot, unseen, be apprehended, and is +only known to those who are privileged to enter, by the passport of +Hymen. A bit of bobbin here--a thread-paper there--here a hat +feather--there a scrap of silk.--Besides," [drawing his chair closer +to mine and looking very tender] "when you love her, you know--." He +paused and sighed, and I groaned strenuously.-- + +"And is this all you have to say in defence of an elopement with a +girl of sixteen." ["A beautiful girl," he passionately interrupted] +"well! a beautiful girl--so young, that it is perfectly impossible for +you to form any judgment on her inclinations or her temper--at a time +when her character is undecided--unformed--when that which is mere +caprice, frequently assumes the hue of passion, and wears all its +fervour and intensity. Or if it should continue unabated--as I must +confess [observing him turn himself with an air before a pier glass,] +I see no reason why it should not--you will find the unsophistication +of the young lady as quickly tending to domestic disquiet, as might +have been her inconstancy--She will be unreasonable in her exactions +on your confidence, and you will be compelled to take refuge in fits +of sullenness--perhaps rudeness;--and then what becomes of that +blissful state, where like you, every body expects, and so very--very +few _find_ happiness?--to secure which the most perfect union of taste +and feeling--the utmost kindliness of manner, and a politeness as +habitual as motion itself, are absolute requisites?--Have you no +further arguments to offer in favour of this measure of yours?--" + +"Oh, yes," said he, very dryly, "I have one more." + +"What may that be?" + +"That I WILL marry her." + +"Oh!..." said I. + +And without exchanging another word, I put on my great coat, and we +sallied forth together to the rendezvous of the lovers. The fair +fugitive was true to her appointment, and at the first sound of the +expected footfall, glided from her concealment into the happy +scoundrel's arms. The action which followed I could not see (though it +was a bright moonlight,) for a breeze lifted the large veil which hung +over the lady's shoulder, in such a manner as to envelope the +countenances of both. What the action _ought_ to have been, perhaps +you, madam, or you, mademoiselle, may inform me?--I only know that +when the modest zephyr passed, and the veil fell back again, the fair +cheek that it revealed glowed with + + "A pudency so rosy, the sweet view on't, + Might well have warm'd old Saturn." + +Harry gave me his hand (heartily) as he stood on the carriage step, +and the bride wafted me a farewell with the prettiest action of her +fan from the window, and murmured,--"Give me a good wish for the +tobacconist." + +"Yes," said I; "may you never have occasion to say of the love that +now leads you to him, that + + "'Its beacon light is quench'd in _smoke_.'" + +[For although naturally grave, and silently given, I often catch +myself endeavouring to sport a bad pun, when I have got the ear of a +fair damsel] The only effect which the witticism produced in the +present instance, however, was an enormous groan, in which the fellows +on the dickey participated. Even the postilion who stood near, set up +a crowing laugh--and the very horses by their snorting and neighing, +seemed to be sensible of the utter and deplorable failure. + +And away they went--and they were hotly pursued, and overtaken, _just_ +in time to be too late--which left no other course but that of +reconciliation;--and where there is no choice to be made, every body +knows there is but one part to be taken. + +That occurrence is now three years since, and it was only the other +day that I again met the pair of turtles. Dropping in rather late at a +card-party, I beheld them sitting vis-a-vis at one of the tables, +playing together against an old lady and gentleman, before whom Mrs. +L---- thought, perhaps, it was not necessary to appear _very_ +fashionable towards dear Harry. With the requisite _ceremonious +unceremoniousness_ so popular at present, I took a chair behind him, +and annoyed him every moment by remarks upon his wife; of course all +highly nattering to both. + +"My love, you have played that card wrong--very wrong." + +"Did I, my dear?" replied Mrs. L. smiling languidly, and looking in +his face more as if she was admiring the elegant turn of his forehead, +and the spirited expression of his dark eye, than as if she minded +what he was saying--"'tis indeed--very." + +"'Tis what?" + +"Oh! were you not speaking of something? I beg pardon, love--I thought +you spoke." + +"And so I did, my dear. I told you that card was played most +abominably." + +"I dare say, my love;--[still gazing in his eyes and smiling]--I know +I'm very stupid,"--[playing a card.] + +"Well, you have taken a curious way to mend matters--that last play +was a thousand degrees worse than the other." + +"I dare say, my love,--[looking in his face, and continuing to drawl +and simper in the manner which we might imagine of Shakspeare's little +shepherdess-- + + "'Sweet youth chide on--I had rather hear thee chide + Than others woo--'"] + +"But tell me, love, when I play wrong," [playing again without taking +her eyes from his, even to look at her card.] + +"I had much better leave you to yourself," said L. + +"'_You will be compelled to take refuge in fits of sullenness_,'" +muttered I, quoting from my former prophecy. + +"My dear,"--[pronounced just in the same way as he might have said, +'you fool,']--pray open your eyes." + +"_Perhaps in rudeness_," I continued. + +"There again!" cried poor L----, who seemed in danger of being ruined +by the admiration of his wife. "It is not possible for a card to be +played worse than that. Your head, my dear, must be as confused as +your boudoir." + +"_A bit of bobbin here--a hat feather there_," I continued, growing +malicious. + +"Sir," cried L----, starting round in a passion. Fixing his eyes for a +moment on my wooden phiz, however, he burst into a fit of laughter, +and then as suddenly assuming a most doleful change of countenance, he +squeezed my hand and said to me apart, in a tragic tone, "Ah, my dear +friend, you were right--you were right." + + "He that would lead a happy married life, + First learn to rule, and then to have, a wife," +say Beaumont and Fletcher--and a pleasant +aphorism it is too--and a wise and +useful--but with a slight alteration, a +periphrasis comprehending advice not less +to the purpose may be presented-- + + "He that would lead a happy wedded life, + Beware of marrying a _too_ youthful wife." + + * * * * * + + + +USEFUL DOMESTIC HINTS. + + +FININGS FOR WINES. + + +If wine does not become clear soon enough, for each forty gallons +dissolve an ounce of isinglass in a quart of water. Strain and mix +this with part of the liquor, beat it up to a froth, and pour it into +the rest; stir the whole well, and bung it up, except there should be +an appearance of fermentation; if so, leave the bung out till it has +ceased. Instead of isinglass, some use hartshorn shavings, in rather +larger quantities; red wines are fined with eggs, twelve to the pipe, +beaten up to a froth, mixed with the wine, _and well stirred in_. + +Gypsum or alabaster is used to clear cloudy white wines; as also fresh +slaked lime; and the size of a walnut of sugar of lead, with a table +spoonful of sal enixum, is put to forty gallons of muddy wine, to +clear it; and hence, as the sugar of lead is decomposed, and changed +into an insoluble sulphat of lead, which falls to the bottom, the +practice is not so dangerous as has been represented. + + +MANNER OF USING FININGS. + + +Put the finings, when ready, into a pail, with a little of what you +are going to fine; whisk them together till they are perfectly mixed, +and then nearly fill up the pail with the liquor, whisking it well +about again, after which, if the cask be full, take out four or five +gallons to make room; take a staff and stir it well; next whisk the +finings up, and put them in, stirring well together for five minutes; +then drive in the bung, leaving the vent-peg loose for three or four +days, after which drive it in tight. + + +OF FLAVOURING AND COLOURING WINES. + + +The quality of roughness natural to those red wines in which the skins +and a portion of the stems have been subjected to the process of +fermentation, is readily communicated by astringent substances, and by +none more easily or purely than by catechu and kino, substances free +from injurious flavour; the sloe is also used; similar roughness, +accompanied with flavour, is given by the chips of oak and beech; and +if logwood and walnut peels are used, the astringency will also be +united to a portion of colour and flavour. All these substances may be +rendered highly useful in giving positive qualities to insipid wines. +A simple infusion alone is necessary, in such proportion as the +exigencies may require; care being taken to rack and fine the wine +after the desired effect has been obtained.--_The Vintner's Guide_. + + * * * * * + + + +THE GATHERER. + + "I am but a _Gatherer_ and disposer of other men's + stuff."--_Wotton_. + + +BIRDS POISONING THEIR YOUNG. + + +Mr. Holmes, in his "Account of the United States of America," relates +that some of the birds of North America are remarkable for poisoning +their young; but this is only done if they are encaged or confined. +The _robin_ is one of the birds thus noticed. If the young be taken, +and placed in a cage where the parent birds can discover them, they +will attend upon and feed them for a season; but after the lapse of a +few days, or when the young are fledged, the old ones appear very +uneasy, and endeavour to discover some way by which they may escape. +If, however, they perceive that there is no hope of accomplishing +their purpose, they procure for them a sort of berry, which is an +infallible poison; _apparently disdaining the thought that their +offspring should be slaves_! + + * * * * * + + +A CONNOISSEUR. + + +Vernet relates, that he was once employed to paint a landscape, with a +cave, and St. Jerome in it; he accordingly painted the landscape, with +St. Jerome at the entrance of the cave. When he delivered the picture, +the purchaser, who understood nothing of perspective, said, "the +landscape and the cave are well made, but St. Jerome is not _in_ the +cave."--"I understand you, sir," replied Vernet, "I will alter it." He +therefore took the painting, and made the shade darker, so that the +saint seemed to sit farther in. The gentleman took the painting; but +it again appeared to him that the saint was not in the cave. Vernet +then wiped out the figure, and gave it to the gentleman, who seemed +perfectly satisfied. Whenever he saw strangers to whom he showed the +picture, he said, "Here you see a picture by Vernet, with St. Jerome +in the cave." "But we cannot see the saint," replied the visiters. +"Excuse me, gentlemen," answered the possessor, "he is there; for I +have seen him standing at the entrance, and afterwards farther back; +and am therefore quite sure that he is in it." + + * * * * * + + +BLACK MAN'S DREAM. + + +A number of years bygone, a black man, named Peter Cooper, happened to +marry a fair lady of Greenock, who did not use him with that +tenderness that he conceived himself entitled to. Having tried all +other arts to retrieve her lost affections in vain, Peter at last +resolved to work upon her fears of punishment in another world for her +conduct in this. Pretending, therefore, to awake one morning +extravagantly alarmed, his helpmate was full of anxiety to know what +was the matter; and having sufficiently, as he thought, whetted her +curiosity, by mysteriously hinting that "he could a tale unfold," at +length Peter proceeded as follows:--"H--ll of a dream last night. I +dream I go to Hebben and rap at de doa, and a gent'man came to de doa +wid black coat and powda hair. Whoa dere? Peeta Coopa.--Whoa Peeta +Coopa? Am not know you--Not knowa Peeta Coopa! Look de book, Sa.--He +take de book, and he look de book, and he could'na find Peeta +Coopa.--Den I say, Oh! lad, oh! look again, finda Peeta Coopa in a +corna.--He take de book, an he look de book, an at last he finda Peeta +Coopa in lilly, lilly (little) corna.--'Peeta Coopa, cook ob de _Royal +Charlotte_ ob Greenock.'--Walk in, Sa. Den I walk in, and dere was +every ting--all kind of vittal--collyflower too--an I eat, and I +drink, and I dance, and I ting, an I neva be done; segar too, by +Gum.--Den I say, oh! lad, oh! look for Peeta Coopa wife. He take de +book, an he look all oba de book, many, many, many a time, corna an +all; and he couldna finda Peeta Coopa wife. Den I say, Oh! lad, oh! +look de black book; he take de black book, and he look de black book, +and he finda Peeta Coopa wife fust page,--'Peeta-Coopa-wife, +buckra-woman, bad-to-her-husband.'" + + * * * * * + + +MAGICAL CLOCK. + + +Droz, a Genevian mechanic, once constructed a clock which was capable +of the following surprising movements:--There were seen on it a negro, +a dog, and a shepherd; when the clock struck, the shepherd played six +tunes on his flute, and the dog approached and fawned upon him. This +clock was exhibited to the King of Spain, who was delighted with it. +"The gentleness of my dog," said Droz, "is his least merit; if your +Majesty touch one of the apples, which you see in the shepherd's +basket, you will admire the fidelity of this animal." The King took an +apple, and the dog flew at his hand, and barked so loud, that the +King's dog, which was in the room, began also to bark; at this the +Courtiers, not doubting that it was an affair of witchcraft, hastily +left the room, crossing themselves as they went out. The minister of +Marine was the only one that ventured to stay. The king having desired +him to ask the negro what o'clock it was, the minister obeyed, but he +obtained no reply. Droz then observed, that the negro had not yet +learned Spanish. + + * * * * * + +_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset +House,) and sold by all Newsmen and Booksellers._ + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11384 *** |