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+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 10, Issue 275, September 29, 1827, by Various</title>
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+<body>
+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11384 ***</div>
+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 10, Issue 275, September 29, 1827, by Various</h1>
+<br />
+<br />
+<center><b>E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Sandra Bannatyne,<br />
+ and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team</b></center>
+<br />
+<br />
+ <hr class="full" />
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page209" name="page209"></a>[pg 209]</span>
+
+ <h1>THE MIRROR<br />
+ OF<br />
+ LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.</h1>
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+ <table width="100%" summary="Publication Number and Date">
+ <tr>
+ <td align="left"><b>VOL. X, NO. 275.]</b></td>
+ <td align="center"><b>SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1827.</b></td>
+ <td align="right"><b>[PRICE 2d.</b></td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+ <h2>KEW PALACE.</h2>
+
+ <div class="figure" style="width:100%;">
+ <a href="images/275-1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/275-1.png" alt="Kew Palace" /></a>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>Innumerable are the instances of princes having sought to perpetuate
+ their memories by the building of palaces, from the <i>Domus Aurea</i>,
+ or golden house of Nero, to the comparatively puny structures of our
+ own times. As specimens of modern magnificence and substantial comfort,
+ the latter class of edifices may be admirable; but we are bound to
+ acknowledge, that in boldness and splendour of design, they cannot
+ assimilate to the labours of antiquity, much of whose stupendous
+ character is to this day preserved in many series of interesting
+ ruins:&mdash;</p>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>Whilst in the progress of the long decay,</p>
+ <p>Thrones sink to dust, and nations pass away.</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>As a record of this degeneracy, near the western corner of Kew Green
+ stands the new palace, commenced for George III., under the direction
+ of the late James Wyatt, Esq. The north front, the only part open to
+ public inspection, possesses an air of solemn, sullen grandeur; but it
+ very ill accords with the taste and science generally displayed by its
+ nominal architect.</p>
+
+ <p>To quote the words of a contemporary, "this Anglo-Teutonic,
+ castellated, gothized structure must be considered as an abortive
+ production, at once illustrative of bad taste and defective judgment.
+ From the small size of the windows and the diminutive proportion of
+ its turrets, it would seem to possess</p>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>"'Windows that exclude the light,</p>
+ <p>And passages that lead to nothing.'"</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>Upon the unhappy seclusion of the <i>royal</i> architect, the works were
+ suspended, and it now remains unfinished. Censure and abuse have,
+ however, always been abundantly lavished on its architecture, whether
+ it be the result of royal caprice or of professional study; but the
+ taste of either party deserves to be taxed with its demerits.</p>
+
+ <p>The northern front was intended to be appropriated to the use of
+ domestics; the whole building is rendered nearly indestructible by
+ fire, by means of cast-iron joists and rafters, &amp;c., certainly in this
+ case an unnecessary precaution, since the whole pile is shortly to be
+ pulled down. The foundation, too, is in a bog close to the Thames, and
+ the principal object in its view is the dirty town of Brentford, on
+ the opposite side of the river; a selection, <span class="pagenum">
+ <a id="page210" name="page210"></a>[pg 210]</span> it would seem, of
+ <i>family</i> taste, for George II. is known to have often said, when
+ riding through Brentford, "I do like this place, it's so like
+ Yarmany."</p>
+
+ <p>A modern tourist, in "A Morning's Walk from London to Kew,"
+ characterizes the new palace as "the <i>Bastile palace</i>, from its
+ resemblance to that building, so obnoxious to freedom and freemen. On
+ a former occasion," says he, "I have viewed its interior, and I am at
+ a loss to conceive the motive for preferring an external form, which
+ rendered it impracticable to construct within it more than a series of
+ large closets, boudoirs, and rooms like oratories." The latter part of
+ this censure is judiciously correct; but the epithet "bastile" is
+ perhaps too harsh for some ears.</p>
+
+ <p>The <i>old palace</i> at Kew formerly belonged to the Capel family, and
+ by marriage became the property of Samuel Molyneux, Esq., secretary
+ to George II. when prince of Wales. The late Frederic, prince of Wales,
+ took a long lease of the house, which he made his frequent residence;
+ and here, too, occasionally resided his favourite poet, James Thomson,
+ author of "The Seasons." It is now held by his majesty on the same
+ tenure. The house contains some good pictures, among which is a set of
+ Canaletti's works; the celebrated picture of the Florence gallery, by
+ Zoffany, (who resided in the neighbourhood,) was removed several years
+ since. The pleasure-grounds, which contain 120 acres, were laid out by
+ Sir William Chambers, one of the greatest masters of ornamental
+ English gardening. Altogether they form a most delightful suburban
+ retreat, and we hope to take an early opportunity of noticing them
+ more in detail.</p>
+
+ <p>The old mansion opposite the palace was taken on a long lease by
+ Queen Caroline of the descendants of Sir Richard Lovett, and has been
+ inhabited by different branches of the royal family: and here his
+ present majesty was educated, under the superintendance of the late
+ Dr. Markham, archbishop of York. This house was bought, in 1761, for
+ the late Queen Charlotte, who died here November 17, 1818.</p>
+
+ <p>Apart from these courtly attractions, Kew is one of the most
+ interesting of the villages near London. On Kew Green once stood a
+ house, the favourite retirement of Sir Peter Lely. In the church and
+ cemetery, too, are interred Meyer, the celebrated miniature-painter,
+ Gainsborough, and Zoffany. Their tombs are simple and unostentatious;
+ but other and more splendid memorials are left to record their genius.</p>
+
+ <p>The premature fate of Kew Palace renders
+ it at this moment an object of public
+ curiosity; while the annexed engraving
+ may serve to identify its site, when posterity</p>
+
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>"Asks where the fabric stood."</p>
+ </blockquote>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h3>THE NUPTIAL CHARM.</h3>
+
+ <h4>(For the Mirror.)</h4>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>There is a charm in wedded bliss.</p>
+ <p>That leaves each rapture cold to this;</p>
+ <p>There is a soft endearing spell,</p>
+ <p>That language can but faintly tell.</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>'Tis not the figure, form, nor face,</p>
+ <p>'Tis not the manner, air, nor grace,</p>
+ <p>'Tis not the smile nor sparkling eye,</p>
+ <p>'Tis not the winning look nor sigh.</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>There is a charm surpassing these,</p>
+ <p>A pleasing spell-like pleasure's breeze!</p>
+ <p>A joy that centres in the heart,</p>
+ <p>And doth its balmy sweets impart!</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>'Tis not the lure of beauty's power,</p>
+ <p>The skin-deep magnet of an hour;</p>
+ <p>It is&mdash;<i>affection's</i> mutual glow,</p>
+ <p>That does the nuptial charm bestow!</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>UTOPIA.</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+ <h2>FINE ARTS.</h2>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h3>RAPHAEL SANZIO D'URBINO.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>In No. 273 of the Mirror, <i>P.T.W.</i> has noticed the <i>Cartoons</i>
+ of Raphael; and I therefore solicit the reader's attention to the
+ subjoined remarks on that master's unsurpassed genius.</p>
+
+ <p>Raphael Sanzio d'Urbino was the pupil of Pietro Perugino, but
+ afterwards studied the works of Leonardo di Vinci and Michael Angelo.
+ He excelled every modern painter, and was thought to equal the
+ ancients; though he did not design naked figures with so much
+ knowledge as Michael Angelo, who was more eminently skilled in
+ anatomy; neither did he paint in so graceful a style as the Venetians;
+ but he had a much more happy manner of disposing and choosing his
+ subjects than any other artist who has lived since his time. His
+ admirable choice of attitudes, ornaments, draperies, and expression,
+ can surely never be equalled by the most successful <i>aspirant</i> in the
+ fine arts. He has an undisputed title to the prince of painters; for,
+ notwithstanding his premature death, he produced the most enchanting
+ representations of the sublime and beautiful. A painter will ever
+ derive much benefit from the study of all Raphael's pictures;
+ especially from the Martyrdom of Saint Felicitas; the Transfiguration;
+ Joseph explaining Pharaoh's Dream; and the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page211"
+ name="page211"></a>[pg 211]</span> School of Athens. Among the
+ wonders of art with which the School of Athens abounds, we may select
+ that of four youths attending to a sage mathematician, who is
+ demonstrating some theorem. One of the boys is listening with profound
+ reverence to the reasoning of his master; another discovers a greater
+ quickness of apprehension; while the third is endeavouring to explain
+ it to the last, who stands with a gaping countenance, utterly unable
+ to comprehend the learned man's discourse. Expression, which was
+ Raphael's chief excellence, and in which no other master has well
+ succeeded, may be seen in the above picture to perfection. Besides his
+ grand historical works, he executed portraits in a good style; and was
+ also an admirable architect. In person, he was handsome, and
+ remarkably well made, his manners being polite and unaffected. He
+ never refused to impart to others what he knew himself; by which
+ conduct he became esteemed in private, as much as he was adored in
+ public.</p>
+
+ <p>This master's grand works are principally at Rome, in the Vatican; in
+ the palace, Florence; Versailles; and the Palais Royal, France; the
+ king's collection, Naples; and in the apartments at Hampton Court
+ Palace. His best scholars were Julio Romano, Polydore, Giovanni
+ d'Udine, and Gaudenzio, to all of whom he communicated the grand
+ <i>arcana</i> of his wonderful art.</p>
+
+ <p>G.W.N.</p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.</h2>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <p>Letter from the Princess, afterwards Queen, Elizabeth, to her sister,
+ Queen Mary, on her being ordered to the Tower, in consequence of a
+ suspicion that she was connected with Wyat's rebellion:&mdash;</p>
+
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>"If any ever did try this old saynge, that a kinge's worde was more
+ than another man's othe, I most humbly beseche your majesty to verefie
+ it in me, and to remember your last promis and my last demande, that I
+ be not condemned without answer and due profe: wiche it semes that now
+ I am, for that without cause provid I am by your counsel frome you
+ commanded to go unto the Tower; a place more wonted for a false
+ traitor, than a tru subject. Wiche thogth I knowe I deserve it not,
+ yet in the face of al this realme aperes that it is provid; wiche I
+ pray God, I may dy the shamefullist dethe that ever any died, afore I
+ may mene any suche thinge: and to this present hower I protest afor
+ God (who shal juge my trueth whatsoever malice shal devis) that I
+ never practised, consiled, nor consentid to any thinge that might be
+ prejudicial to your parson any way, or daungerous to the State by any
+ mene. And therefor I humbly beseche your Majestie to let me answer
+ afore your selfe, and not suffer me to trust to your counselors; yea
+ and that afore I go to the Tower, if it be possible; if not, afore I
+ be further condemned. Howbeit, I trust assuredly, your Highnes to wyl
+ give me leve to do it afor I go; for that thus shamfully I may not be
+ cried out on, as now I shalbe; yea and without cause. Let consciens
+ move your Highnes take some bettar way with me, than to make me be
+ condemned in al mens sigth, afor my desert knowen. Also I most humbly
+ beseche your Highnes to pardon this my boldnes, wiche innocency
+ procures me to do, togither with hope of your natural kindnes; wiche I
+ trust wyl not se me cast away without desert: wiche what it is, I wold
+ desier no more of God, but that you truly knewe. Wiche thinge I thinke
+ and beleve you shal never by report knowe, unless by your selfe you
+ hire. I have harde in my time of many cast away, for want of comminge
+ to the presence of ther Prince: and in late days I harde my Lorde of
+ Sommerset say, that if his brother had bine sufferd to speke with him,
+ he had never sufferd: but the perswasions wer made to him so gret,
+ that he was brogth in belefe that he coulde not live safely if the
+ Admiral lived; and that made him give his consent to his dethe. Thogth
+ thes parsons ar not to be compared to your majestie, yet I pray God,
+ as ivel perswations perswade not one sistar again the other; and al
+ for that the have harde false report, and not harkene to the trueth
+ knowin. Therefor ons again, kniling with humblenes of my hart, bicause
+ I am not sufferd to bow the knees of my body, I humby crave to speke
+ with your higthnis; wiche I wolde not be so bold to desier, if I knewe
+ my selfe most clere as I knowe myselfe most tru. And as for the
+ traitor Wiat, he migth paraventur writ me a lettar; but, on my faithe,
+ I never receved any from him. And as for the copie of my lettar sent
+ to the Frenche kinge, I pray God confound me eternally, if ever I sent
+ him word, message, token, or lettar by any menes: and to this my
+ truith I will stande in to my dethe.</p>
+
+ <p>Your Highnes most faithful subject that hathe bine from the
+ beginninge, and wylbe to my ende,</p>
+
+ <p>ELIZABETH.</p>
+
+ <p>I humbly crave but only one worde of answer from your selfe.</p>
+ </blockquote>
+
+ <p><i>Ellis's Original Letters</i>.</p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page212" name="page212"></a>[pg 212]</span>
+ <h2>THE NOVELIST.</h2>
+
+ <h4>No. CXI.</h4>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h3>THE MUTINY.</h3>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>&mdash;&mdash;O God!</p>
+ <p>Had you but seen his pale, pale blanched cheek!</p>
+ <p>He would not eat.&mdash;O Christ!</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>THE BERYL.</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>In the summer of the year 18&mdash;, I was the only passenger on board the
+ merchantman, Alceste, which was bound to the Brazils. One fine
+ moonlight night, I stood on the deck, and gazed on the quiet ocean, on
+ which the moon-beams danced. The wind was so still, that it scarcely
+ agitated the sails, which were spread out to invite it. I looked
+ round; it was the same on every side&mdash;a world of waters: not a single
+ object diversified the view, or intercepted the long and steady glance
+ which I threw over the ocean. I have heard many complain of the
+ sameness and unvarying uniformity of the objects which oppose
+ themselves to the eye of the voyager. I feel differently; I can gaze
+ for hours, without weariness, on the deep, occupied with the thought
+ it produces; I can listen to the rush of the element as the vessel
+ cleaves it, and these things have charms for me which others cannot
+ perceive.</p>
+
+ <p>I heard, on a sudden, a noise, which seemed to proceed from the
+ captain's cabin, and I thought I could distinguish the voices of
+ several men, speaking earnestly, though in a suppressed tone. I
+ cautiously drew near the spot from whence the noise arose, but the
+ alarm was given, and I could see no one. I retired to rest, or rather
+ to lie down; for I felt that heavy and foreboding sense of evil
+ overpower me, which comes we know not how or wherefore; and I could
+ not sleep, knowing that there had been disputes between the captain
+ and his men, respecting some point of discipline, and I feared to
+ think what might be the consequences. I lay a long time disturbed with
+ these unpleasant reflections; at last, wearied with my thoughts, my
+ eyes closed, and I dropped to sleep. But it was not to that refreshing
+ sleep which recruits the exhausted spirits, and by awhile "steeping
+ the senses in forgetfulness," renders them fitter for exertion on
+ awakening. My sleep was haunted with hideous and confused dreams, and
+ murder and blood seemed to surround me. I was awakened by convulsive
+ starts, and in vain sought again for quiet slumber; the same images
+ filled my mind, diversified in a thousand horrid forms. Early in the
+ morning, I arose, and went above, and the mild sea breeze dispelled my
+ uneasy sensations.</p>
+
+ <p>During the whole of the day nothing seemed to justify the fears that
+ had tormented me, and everything went on in its regular course. The
+ men pursued their occupations quietly and in silence, and I thought
+ the temporary fit of disaffection was passed over. Alas! I remembered
+ not that the passions of men, like deep waters, are most to be
+ suspected when they seem to glide along most smoothly. Night came on,
+ and I retired to rest more composed than on the preceding evening. I
+ endeavoured to convince myself that the noises I had heard were but
+ the fancies of a disturbed imagination, and I slept soundly. Ill-timed
+ security! About midnight I was awakened by a scuffling in the vessel.
+ I hastened to the spot; the captain and one of his officers were
+ fighting against a multitude of the ship's crew. In a moment after I
+ saw the officer fall. Two fellows advanced to me, and, clapping
+ pistols to my breast, threatened instant death, if I stirred or spoke.
+ I gazed on the bloody spectacle; the bodies, which lay around,
+ swimming in gore, testified that the mutineers could not have
+ accomplished their aim with impunity. I was horror-struck; a swimming
+ sensation came over my eyes, my limbs failed me, and I fell senseless.</p>
+
+ <p>When I recovered, I found myself lying on a bed. Everything was still.
+ I listened in vain for a sound; I lay still a considerable time; at
+ last, I arose and walked about the ship, but could see no one. I
+ searched every part of the vessel; I visited the place of slaughter,
+ which I had, at first, carefully avoided; I counted nine dead bodies,
+ and the coagulated blood formed a loathsome mass around them; I
+ shuddered to think I was desolate&mdash;the companion of death. "Good God!"
+ said I, "and they have left me here alone!" The word sounded like a
+ knell to me. It now occurred to me, it was necessary the bodies should
+ be thrown overboard. I took up one of them, dragged it to the side,
+ and plunged it into the waves; but the dash of the heavy body into the
+ sea, reminded me more forcibly of my loneliness. The sea was so calm,
+ I could scarcely hear it ripple by the vessel's side. One by one I
+ committed the bodies to their watery grave. At last my horrible task
+ was finished. My next work was to look for the ship's boats, but they
+ were gone, as I expected. I could not bear to remain in the ship; it
+ seemed a vast tomb for me. I resolved to make some sort of raft, and
+ depart in it. This occupied two or three days; at length it was
+ completed, and I succeeded in setting it afloat.</p>
+
+ <p>I lowered into it all the provision I could find in the ship, which
+ was but <span class="pagenum"><a id="page213" name="page213"></a>
+ [pg 213]</span> little, the sailors having, as I imagined, carried off the
+ remainder. All was ready, and I prepared to depart. I trembled at the
+ thought of the dangers I was about to encounter. I was going to commit
+ myself to the ocean, separated from it only by a few boards, which a
+ wave might scatter over the surface of the waters. I might never
+ arrive at land, or meet with any vessel to rescue me from my danger,
+ and I should be exposed, without shelter, and almost without food. I
+ half resolved to remain in my present situation; but a moment's
+ reflection dispelled the idea of such a measure. I descended; I stood
+ on my frail raft; I cut the rope by which it was fastened to the ship.
+ I was confused to think of my situation; I could hardly believe that I
+ had dared to enter alone on the waste of waters. I endeavoured to
+ compose myself, but in vain. As far as I could see, nothing presented
+ itself to my view but the vessel I had left; the sea was perfectly
+ still, for not the least wind was stirring. I endeavoured, with two
+ pieces of board, which supplied the place of oars, to row myself
+ along; but the very little progress I made alarmed me. If the calm
+ should continue, I should perish of hunger. How I longed to see the
+ little sail I had made, agitated by the breeze! I watched it from
+ morning to night; it was my only employment; but in vain. The weather
+ continued the same. Two days passed over; I looked at my store of
+ provisions; it would not, I found, last above three or four days
+ longer, at the farthest. They were quickly passing away. I almost gave
+ myself up for lost. I had scarcely a hope of escaping.</p>
+
+ <p>On the fourth day since my departure from the ship, I thought I
+ perceived something at a distance; I looked at it intently&mdash;it was a
+ sail. Good heavens! what were my emotions at the sight! I fastened my
+ handkerchief on a piece of wood, and waved it, in hopes that it would
+ be observed, and that I should be rescued from my fearful condition.
+ The vessel pressed on its course; I shouted;&mdash;I knew they could not
+ hear me, but despair impelled me to try so useless an expedient. It
+ passed on&mdash;it grew dim&mdash;I stretched my eyeballs to see it&mdash;it
+ vanished&mdash;it was gone! I will not attempt to describe the torturing
+ feelings which possessed me, at seeing the chance of relief which had
+ offered itself destroyed. I was stupified with grief and
+ disappointment. My stock of provisions was now entirely exhausted, and
+ I looked forward with horror to an excruciating death.</p>
+
+ <p>A little water which had remained, quenched my burning thirst. I
+ wished that the waves would rush over me. My hunger soon became
+ dreadful, but I had no means of relieving it. I endeavoured to sleep,
+ that I might for awhile, forget my torments; and my wearied frame
+ yielded for awhile to slumber. When I awoke I was not, however,
+ refreshed; I was weak, and felt a burning pain at my stomach. I became
+ hourly more feeble; I lay down, but was unable to rise again. My limbs
+ lost their strength; my lips and tongue were parched; a convulsive
+ shuddering agitated me; my eyes seemed darkened, and I gasped for
+ breath.</p>
+
+ <p>The burning at my stomach now departed; I experienced no pain; but a
+ dull torpor came over me; my hands and feet became cold; I believed I
+ was dying, and I rejoiced at the thought. Presently I lost all thought
+ and feeling, and lay, without sense, on a few boards, which divided me
+ from the ocean. In this situation, as I was afterwards informed, I was
+ taken up by a small vessel, and carried to a seaport town. I slowly
+ recovered, and found that I alone, of all who were on board the vessel
+ in which I had embarked, had escaped death. The crew, who had departed
+ in the boats, after murdering the captain, had met their reward&mdash;the
+ boats were shattered against a rock.</p>
+
+ <p><i>December Tales.</i></p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>THE SELECTOR, AND LITERARY NOTICES OF NEW WORKS.</h2>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h3>A STORM IN THE INDIAN SEAS.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>While the sun was setting with even more than its usual brilliancy,
+ and leaving its path marked with streaks of gold, a bird hovered over
+ our heads, and suddenly alighted on our taffrail: it was one of
+ "Mother Carey's chickens," which by mariners are considered as
+ harbingers of ill, and generally of a furious storm. At a warning of
+ this kind I did not then feel disposed to take alarm; but there were
+ other warnings not to be slighted&mdash;the horizon to the east presented
+ the extraordinary appearance of a black cloud in the shape of a bow,
+ with its convex towards the sea, and which kept its singular shape and
+ position unchanged until nightfall. For the period too of twenty
+ minutes after the setting of the sun, the clouds to the north-west
+ continued of the colour of blood; but that which most attracted our
+ observation was, to us, a remarkable phenomenon&mdash;the sea immediately
+ around us, and, as far as the eye could discern by the light of the
+ moon, appeared, for about forty minutes, of a perfectly milk white. We
+ were visited <span class="pagenum"><a id="page214" name="page214"></a>
+ [pg 214]</span> by two more chickens of Mother Carey, both of which
+ sought refuge, with our first visiter, on the mainmast. We sounded,
+ but found no bottom at a hundred fathoms; a bucket of the water was
+ then drawn up, the surface of which was apparently covered with
+ innumerable sparks of fire&mdash;an effect said to be caused by the
+ animalculae which abound in sea-water: it is at all times common, but
+ the sparks are not in general so numerous, nor of such magnitude, as
+ were those which then presented themselves. The hand too, being dipped
+ in the water, and immediately withdrawn, thousands of them would seem
+ to adhere to it. A dismal hollow breeze, which, as the night drew on,
+ howled through our rigging, and infused into us all a sombre,
+ melancholy feeling, increased by gathering clouds, and the altogether
+ portentous state of the atmosphere and elements, ushered in the first
+ watch, which was to be kept by Thomson.</p>
+
+ <p>About eight o'clock, loud claps of thunder, each in kind resembling a
+ screech, or the blast of a trumpet, rather than the rumbling sound of
+ thunder in Europe, burst over our heads, and were succeeded by vivid
+ flashes of forked lightning. We now made every necessary preparation
+ for a storm, by striking the top-gallant-masts, with their yards,
+ close reefing the topsails and foresail, bending the storm-staysail,
+ and battening down the main hatch, over which two tarpaulins were
+ nailed, for the better preservation of the cargo. We observed
+ innumerable shoals of fishes, the motions of which appeared to be more
+ than usually vivid and redundant.</p>
+
+ <p>At twelve o'clock, on my taking charge of the deck, the scene bore a
+ character widely different from that which it presented but three
+ hours before. We now sailed under close-reefed maintopsail and
+ foresail. The sea ran high; our bark laboured hard, and pitched
+ desperately, and the waves lashed her sides with fury, and were
+ evidently increasing in force and size. Over head nothing was to be
+ seen but huge travelling clouds, called by sailors the "scud," which
+ hurried onwards with the fleetness of the eagle in her flight. Now and
+ then the moon, then in her second quarter, would show her disc for an
+ instant, but be quickly obscured; or a star of "paly" light peep out,
+ and also disappear. The well was sounded, but the vessel did not yet
+ make more water than what might be expected in such a sea; we,
+ however, kept the pumps going at intervals, in order to prevent the
+ cargo from sustaining damage. The wind now increased, and the waves
+ rose higher; about two o'clock A.M. the weather maintopsail-sheet gave
+ way; the sail then split to ribbons, and before we could clue it up,
+ was completely blown away from the bolt-rope. The foresail was then
+ furled, not without great difficulty, and imminent hazard to the
+ seamen, the storm staysail alone withstanding the mighty wind, which
+ seemed to gain strength every half-hour, while the sea, in frightful
+ sublimity, towered to an incredible height, frequently making a
+ complete breach over our deck.</p>
+
+ <p>At four A.M. I was relieved by Thomson, who at daylight apprized me
+ that the maintopmast was sprung, and that the gale was increasing.
+ Scarcely had I gone on deck, when a tremendous sea struck us a little
+ "abaft the beam," carrying every thing before it, and washing
+ overboard hencoops, cables, water-casks, and indeed every movable
+ article on the deck. Thomson, almost by miracle, escaped being lost;
+ but having, in common with the lascars, taken the precaution to lash a
+ rope round his waist, we were able, by its means, to extricate him
+ from danger; at the same time the vessel made an appalling lurch,
+ lying down on her beam-ends, in which position she remained for the
+ space of two minutes, when the maintopmast, followed by the
+ foretopmast, went by the board with a dreadful crash; she then
+ righted, and we were all immediately engaged in going aloft, and with
+ hatchets cutting away the wreck, each of us being lashed with a rope
+ round the waist; ropes were also fastened across the deck, in parallel
+ lines, to hold on by; for such was the violence of the vessel's
+ motion, that without such assistance it would have been impossible to
+ stand. As for my Virginia, she was in her cot, hearing all that was
+ going forward on deck,&mdash;sensible of her danger, and a prey to the
+ apprehension of meeting a death similar to that of her prototype, and
+ equally dreadful.</p>
+
+ <p>A drizzling shower now came on, and having continued for some time,
+ was at length succeeded by heavy rain, which having been converted
+ into sleet, was carried in flakes swiftly along the tops of the
+ towering mountains of sea; while the cold sensibly affected the
+ already exhausted lascars, at once disinclining them from exertion,
+ and incapacitating them from making any; some of them even sat down
+ like inanimate statues, with a fixed stare, and a deathlike hue upon
+ their countenances: the most afflicting circumstance was, their being
+ destitute of warm clothing, which they had neglected to provide
+ themselves with, as they ought to have done, out of the four months'
+ advance they received in Calcutta. All that I could spare was given to
+ Thomson; but unable to endure the sight of their misery, I <span class="pagenum">
+ <a id="page215" name="page215"></a>[pg 215]</span> distributed
+ among them many articles which I could ill spare,&mdash;sheets, shirts, and
+ blankets, except one of the latter, which I had reserved as a
+ provision against any further extreme of suffering which might yet
+ await us. There was one poor lascar, a simple inoffensive youth, about
+ nineteen, who was an object of the liveliest commiseration; he was
+ nearly naked, and in that state had been continually drenched by the
+ sea and rain, during the whole of the day and night; he was holding
+ his hands up to heaven in a supplicating attitude, and shaking in an
+ aguish fit; the tears fell in torrents down his cheeks, while he
+ uttered his plaints in loud and piercing lamentations. Unable, at
+ last, to witness his misery any longer, I rushed down to my
+ cabin&mdash;"Can you, Virginia, spare me this blanket without feeling the
+ cold too much yourself?&mdash;it is to save the life of a
+ fellow-creature."&mdash;"Yes, take it; but stay with me, or, under the
+ horrors I feel, I shall die in this cabin, and alone. I know we must
+ perish, and why not die together?" I entreated her to support herself
+ with all the fortitude she could collect, urged the impossibility of
+ my keeping her company, as every moment called for my assistance; and
+ assuring her there was no real danger, I hurried on deck with the
+ blanket, and wrapped the poor wretch in its folds. I thought he would
+ have worshipped me.</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <p>It was about four o'clock, on the fifth morning, that I ventured into
+ my cabin, to repose myself on my cot until daylight, more with the
+ persuasion that my presence would inspire Virginia with fresh hopes,
+ and, in consequence, better spirits, than that the storm had in the
+ least abated, or that the peril had become less imminent. At six,
+ Thomson, whom I had left in charge of the deck, aroused me by bawling,
+ in a voice necessarily raised to the highest pitch, to make itself
+ heard amidst the howling, or rather screaming of the
+ elements&mdash;"Naufragus!" I instantly jumped up, without waiting any
+ specific communication, and, on reaching the deck, found the pumps at
+ work, and was informed that we had five feet water in the hold, and
+ that the water was gaining upon us fast, notwithstanding the pumps had
+ been kept constantly going.&mdash;"Well," said Thomson, in a low tone, not
+ to be heard by the crew, "we'll do our best, as long as she floats,
+ but that cannot now be much longer&mdash;it's all over with us, depend upon
+ it!" There was no time for argument; the pumps were now the chief
+ object of our attention; and Thomson and myself, with the secunnies,
+ plied them incessantly, until we were ready to drop down with fatigue.</p>
+
+ <p>In a short time we found that the water brought up by the pumps bore a
+ brownish colour, and, on tasting it, that it was sweet; so that it was
+ evident we were pumping up the sugar, which being contained in
+ baskets, was but ill protected against water. Such is the fondness for
+ life, that on the appearance of any sudden or immediate cause of
+ dissolution, any consideration unconnected with the paramount one of
+ preservation, is set at naught; thus, although I was sensible that my
+ valuable cargo was momentarily diminishing, and my property wasting
+ away, I then felt no disposition to regret my loss, the powers of my
+ mind, and the affections of my heart, being all engaged on higher
+ objects.</p>
+
+ <p>Those lascars who could at all be brought to the pumps were in so
+ wretched and debilitated a state, as to require constant reliefs. For
+ one day and two nights, except a few short intervals, Thomson and
+ myself, with the secunnies, were at the pumps: at the end of that
+ time, our hands were blistered to such a degree, that the skin having
+ peeled off, the raw flesh appeared; our arms, thighs, and legs were so
+ dreadfully swelled, and our loins in such tormenting pain, as to make
+ it impossible for us to continue the exertion, without suffering
+ extreme agony; and nothing but the melancholy conviction that we must
+ continue our labour, or perish, could possibly have sustained us under
+ such hardships&mdash;hardships, however, which we had the heartfelt
+ satisfaction to find were so far from being useless, that on perusing
+ the sounding-rod, when pulled up from the well, (which we did under
+ feelings of extreme anxiety and eagerness,) we were convinced that the
+ water did not gain upon us. Our spirits, however, received no
+ encouragement from the appearance of the elements; the clouds were
+ black and frowning, and all around still bore a threatening
+ appearance, the hurricane indeed having rather increased than in the
+ slightest degree abated.</p>
+
+ <p>The circumstance of our having on board so perishable and light a
+ cargo as soft sugar, it is remarkable, was the very means of our
+ preservation. Had it consisted of almost any other article, either of
+ pepper or of dead wood, we must inevitably have perished. To have
+ thrown overboard any heavy cargo, would, from the constant and heavy
+ breaches which the sea made over us, have been impossible. Neither
+ could the masts have been cut away, for the purpose of lightening the
+ vessel, in consequence of the imbecile condition of the crew; a
+ recourse to so <span class="pagenum"><a id="page216" name="page216"></a>
+ [pg 216]</span> hazardous a measure would, under our circumstances,
+ most likely have proved the cause of our destruction. As it was, from
+ constant pumping for three days, we found our vessel as light and
+ buoyant as a cork, and, with the exception of the baskets in which the
+ sugar had been stowed, as empty as when I first purchased her.</p>
+
+ <p>Night approached, bringing with it additional horrors. The secunnies,
+ who had hitherto borne their hardships with admirable fortitude, now
+ began to droop, and to express a violent inclination for more rum,
+ although as much had been given them as they could possibly bear;
+ indeed, rum, with dough, half-baked, had formed their only sustenance
+ during the whole period of our sufferings. As for the pumps, we were
+ now so lightened, they did not require to be worked at all; but the
+ greatest dread we laboured under was from the dangerous condition of
+ the main and fore masts, that tottered to and fro, threatening to go
+ by the board every minute. Before the hour of sunset, a large bird,
+ called the albatross, with wings the length of four to five feet each,
+ skimmed along the surface of the waves, close to and around us; this
+ inspired the crew with hopes, as they supposed it to be a good omen.
+ It remained hovering near our unfortunate wreck for some minutes,
+ until it alighted on the waves, where it was seen riding perfectly at
+ ease, and with the majesty of a fine large swan, now on the summit of
+ a tremendous mountain of waters, and now in the ravines of a wide and
+ deep abyss. At length darkness once more encompassed us around, and
+ seemed to shut us out from even a ray of hope; the desponding few,
+ whose senses were still left them, apparently felt with more acuteness
+ than before, the desperation and horrors of their condition. At the
+ hour of eight P.M., however, the wind suddenly changed from south-east
+ to south-west, and soon appeared to be dying away. At this happy
+ circumstance, whereby a prospect of deliverance from the very depths
+ of despair was opened to us, the feelings manifested by the crew were
+ as singular as they were various; some shouted for joy&mdash;some
+ cried&mdash;others muttered prayers&mdash;while a few were still despondent,
+ presenting wild and savage-looking features, and seeming to regret
+ that the billows had not swallowed them up.&mdash;<i>Adventures of
+ Naufragus</i>.</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>DAMP BEDS.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>Clean sheets are not remarkably common at common inns, where, I am
+ informed, that the practice is to take them from the bed, sprinkle
+ them with water, to fold them down, and then put them in a press. When
+ they are wanted again, they are, literally speaking, shewn to the
+ fire, and in a reeking state laid on the bed. The traveller is tired
+ and sleepy, dreams of that pleasure or that business which brought him
+ from home, and the remotest thing from his mind is, that from the very
+ repose which he fancies has refreshed him, he has received the
+ rheumatism. The receipt, therefore, to sleep comfortably at inns, is
+ to take your own sheets, to have plenty of flannel gowns, and to
+ promise, and take care to pay, a handsome consideration for the
+ liberty of choosing your beds. Damp beds are oftenest found in inns
+ that are least visited; they ought to be carefully avoided, for they
+ not only produce dreadful disorders, but have often proved the death
+ of the person who has had the misfortune to sleep in them. Especially
+ in winter, not only examine the beds, to see whether they are quite
+ dry, but have the bedclothes in your presence put before the fire.
+ Just before you go to bed, order a pan of hot coals to be run through
+ it, then place a clean tumbler inverted between the sheets, and let it
+ remain there for a few minutes;&mdash;if on withdrawing it the slightest
+ cloud is observable on the inner surface, be certain that either the
+ bed or the sheets are damp: sleeping in the blankets is a
+ disagreeable, but the safest way of escaping such danger: there are
+ many persons in the habit of travelling, who make it a constant
+ practice. A wash leather sheet, about 8 feet by 5, is not an
+ unpleasant substitute for linen. But the only absolutely safe plan is,
+ to sleep in a bed which you are sure has been occupied the night
+ before; and that, must be the best-aired bed which was slept in by the
+ best-aired person!&mdash;Qy. The cook?&mdash;<i>The Traveller's Oracle</i>.</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>BURMAN THIEVES.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>The Burmans used to approach, on dark nights, on their hands and
+ knees, and often crawled close up to the sentinels, before they were
+ discovered; sometimes they carried off knapsacks and arms, and went
+ away with their booty unperceived.</p>
+
+ <p>A laughable instance of their dexterity took place in the Great
+ Pagoda, on the night of the 2nd July. The soldiers, for several nights
+ previous, had missed some arms, although a sentry was before the door,
+ and they generally slept with their firelocks by their sides. This
+ evening, every one was on the alert, extra sentries were posted, and
+ every precaution taken <span class="pagenum"><a id="page217" name="page217">
+ </a>[pg 217]</span> to secure the marauders. When, on a sudden, the
+ alarm being given, the officer on duty, who was reposing in one of the
+ little temples, ran to the door and inquired what had occurred,&mdash;but
+ hearing that only a knapsack had been found in the grass, and that no
+ other traces existed of the depredators, he turned round to lie down
+ again, and, to his infinite astonishment, found his bed had vanished!
+ A light was in the room, and a servant sleeping near it, yet,
+ notwithstanding, the impudent thieves had also ransacked a basket, and
+ escaped with the contents! We since heard that the robbers were Burman
+ soldiers belonging to the camp at Kumaroot, whither they carried their
+ spoils. They certainly deserved infinite credit for the ingenuity they
+ manifested, and for the manner in which they turned the laugh against
+ us, by showing, that the very moment they chose for their
+ depredations, was one when a strict search was making after them.</p>
+
+ <p><i>Two Years in Ava</i>.</p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>MANNERS &amp; CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS.</h2>
+
+ <h4>No. XII.</h4>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h4>KANEMBOO MARKET-WOMAN.</h4>
+
+ <div class="figure" style="width:50%;">
+ <a href="images/275-2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/275-2.png"
+ alt="Kanemboo Market-Woman" /></a>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>The people of Kanem, in Central Africa, are known by the name of
+ Kanemboo, and consist of tribes of Tibboos. The women are
+ good-looking, laughing negresses, and all but naked. Most of them have
+ a square or triangular piece of silver or tin hanging at the back of
+ the head, suspended from the hair, which is curiously and laboriously
+ trained, and no one of tender years has anything like a perfect head
+ of hair. From childhood the head is shaved, having only the top
+ covered; the hair from hence falls down quite round from the forehead
+ to the pole of the neck, and is then formed into one solid plait,
+ which in front lying quite flat just over the eyes, and behind being
+ turned up with a little curl, has just the appearance of an
+ old-fashioned coachman's wig in London.</p>
+
+ <p>The women flock from the neighbouring negro villages to the weekly
+ fsug, or market, with baskets of gussut, gafooly, fowls, and honey,
+ which may be purchased by small pieces of coral amber of the coarsest
+ kind, and coloured beads. Major Denham, in his "Travels in Northern
+ and Central Africa," says "one merchant bought a fine lamb for two
+ bits of amber, worth, I should think, about two-pence each in Europe;
+ two needles purchased a fowl; and a handful of salt, four or five
+ good-sized fish from the lake (Tchad)."</p>
+
+
+ <h4>SHOUAA WOMAN.</h4>
+
+ <h4><i>Kingdom of Bornou</i>.</h4>
+
+ <div class="figure" style="width:50%;">
+ <a href="images/275-3.png"><img width="100%" src="images/275-3.png"
+ alt="Shouaa Woman" /></a>
+ </div>
+
+
+ <p>The Shouaa Arabs are a very extraordinary race, and have scarcely any
+ resemblance to the Arabs of the north; they have fine open
+ countenances, with aquiline noses, and large eyes; their complexion is
+ a light copper-colour; they possess great cunning with their courage,
+ and resemble in appearance some of our best favoured gipsies in
+ England, particularly the <i>women</i>; and their Arabic is nearly pure
+ Egyptian.</p>
+
+ <p>The best residences of the Shouaas consist of two enclosures, besides
+ one for their horses, cows, and goats. In the first of these divisions
+ is a circular hut, with a cupola top, well thatched with gussub straw,
+ something resembling that of the Indian corn; the walls are of the
+ same materials; a mud wall, of about two feet high, separates one part
+ from the rest, and here their corn is kept; and a bench of like
+ composition, at the opposite side, is their resting-place; this is
+ covered with mats; and spears and wooden bowls for water and milk,
+ hang on pegs, and complete the furniture; here is the master's own
+ apartment. In the second <span class="pagenum"><a id="page218" name="page218">
+ </a>[pg 218]</span> division are two huts, rather smaller, about
+ ten paces from each other, in which dwell his wives.</p>
+
+
+ <h4>AFRICAN FUNERALS.</h4>
+
+
+ <p>The custom of burying the dead in the floor of dwelling-houses, is
+ prevalent on the Gold Coast of Africa, as far as that country is known
+ to Europeans. The ceremony is purely Pagan, and without any form,
+ except that of the females of the family of the deceased and their
+ friends making a mournful lamentation; and in some instances they work
+ their feelings up to such a degree of apparent sorrow, that their
+ conduct has every symptom of insanity. This scene of revelry is not a
+ little heightened by the profuse use of ardent spirits, which has so
+ powerful an attraction, that drummers, flute-players, bards, and
+ singing men come from great distances to partake of the libations; and
+ as the savage uproar lasts often for a week, it leads to every kind of
+ dissolute practice in both sexes. Another custom, or repetition of
+ this barbarous usage, frequently takes place seven years after the
+ demise of persons of consequence, which is still more expensive than
+ the former: as such are the baneful prejudices in favour of these
+ habits, that families have too frequently pawned their relatives to
+ raise money to defray the expense; they purchase cattle, sheep, goats,
+ and poultry, and with the assistance of what is brought by their
+ friends and acquaintances, they are enabled to keep up a scene of riot
+ for many days. The carcasses of animals sacrificed are not burned and
+ sown in the wind as in times of old, but the Fantees more wisely, eat
+ them, greater attention being paid to the flavour of the viands and
+ the fragrance of the strong liquor than to the manes of the dead.</p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS.</h2>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h3>WILLY M'GEE'S MONKEY.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>I dinna think that in a' nature there's a mair curiouser cratur than
+ a monkey. I mak this observe frae being witness to an extraordinar'
+ event that took place in Hamilton. Folk may talk as they like about
+ monkeys, and cry them down for being stupid and mischievous, I for ane
+ will no gang that length. Whatever they may be on the score of
+ mischief, there can be nae doubt, that, sae far as gumption is
+ concerned, they are just uncommon; and for wit and fun they would beat
+ ony man black and blue. In fact, I dinna think that monkeys are beasts
+ ava. I hae a half notion that they are just wee hairy men that canna,
+ or rather that winna speak, in case they be made to work like ither
+ folk, instead of leading a life of idleness.</p>
+
+ <p>But to the point: I ance had a monkey, ane of the drollest-looking
+ deevils ye ever saw. He was gayan big for a monkey, and was hairy
+ a' ower, except his face and his bit hurdies, which had a degree of
+ bareness about them, and were nearly as saft as a lady's loof. Weel,
+ what think ye that I did wi' the beastie? Odds, man, I dressed him up
+ like a Heelandman, and put a kilt upon him, and a lang-tailed red
+ coat, and a blue bannet, which for security's sake I tied, woman-like,
+ below his chin wi' twa bits of yellow ribbon. I not only did this, but
+ I learnt him to walk upon his twa hinder legs, and to carry a stick
+ in his right hand when he gaed out, the better to support him in his
+ peregrinations. He was for a' the world like a wee man in kilts.</p>
+
+ <p>Weel, it turned out in this manner, as ye shall hear. Ae afternoon
+ towards the glomin' I was oblegated to tak' a stap doun to the cross,
+ wi' a web under my arm, which I had finished for Mr. Weft, the muslin
+ manufacturer. By way of frolic, a gayan foolish ane I allow, I brocht
+ Nosey (the monkey's name,) alang wi' me. He had on, as for ordinar',
+ his Heeland dress, and walkit behint me, wi' the bit stick in his
+ hand, and his tail sticking out frae below his kilt, as if he had been
+ my flunky. It was, after a', a queer sicht, and, as may be supposed, I
+ drew a haill crowd of bairns after me, bawling out, "Here's Willy
+ M'Gee's monkey," and gi'eing him nits and gingerbread, and makin' as
+ muckle of the cratur as could be; for Nosey was a great favourite in
+ the town, and everbody likit him for his droll tricks, and the way he
+ used to girn, and dance, and tumble ower his head, to amuse them.</p>
+
+ <p>On entering Mr. Weft's shop, I faund it empty; there wasna a leeving
+ soul within. I supposed he had gane out for a licht; and being gayan
+ familiar wi' him, I took a stap ben to the back shop, leaving Nosey in
+ the fore ane. I sat for twa or three minutes, but naebody made his
+ appearance. At last the front door, which I had ta'en care to shut
+ after me, opened, and I look't to see wha it could be, thinking that,
+ nae doubt, it was Mr. Weft, or his apprentice. It was neither the ane
+ nor the ither, but a strong middle-aged, red-faced Heelandman, wi'
+ specks on, and wi' a kilt and a bannet, by a' the <span class="pagenum">
+ <a id="page219" name="page219"></a>[pg 219]</span> world like my
+ monkey's. Now, what think ye Nosey was about a' this time? He was
+ sittin' behind the counter upon the lang three-leggit stool that stood
+ fornent Mr. Weft's desk, and was turning ower the leaves of his
+ ledger, wi' a look which, for auld-fashioned sagaciousness, was
+ wonderfu' to behold. I was sae tickled at the sight that I paid nae
+ sort of attention to the Heelandman, but continued looking frae the
+ back shop at Nosey, lauching a' the time in my sleeve&mdash;for I jealoused
+ that some queer scene would tak' place between the twa. And I wasna
+ far wrang, for the stranger, takin' out a pound frae his spleuchan,
+ handed it ower to the monkey, and speered at him, in his droll norlan
+ deealect, if he could change a note. When I heard this I thocht I
+ would hae lauched outricht; and naething but sheer curiosity to see
+ how the thing would end made me keep my gravity. It was plain that
+ Donald had ta'en Nosey for ane of his ain countrymen&mdash;and the thing
+ after a' wasna greatly to be wondered at, and that for three
+ reasons:&mdash;</p>
+
+ <p>Firstly, the shop was rather darkish.</p>
+
+ <p>Secondly, the Heelandman had on specks, as I hae just said; and it was
+ likely on this account that he was rather short-sighted; and</p>
+
+ <p>Thirdly, Nosey, wi' his kilt, and bannet, and red coat, was, to a'
+ intents and purposes, as like a human creatur as a monkey could weel
+ be.</p>
+
+ <p>Nae sooner, then, had he got the note, than he opened it out, and
+ lookit at it wi' his wee glowrin', restless een, as if to see that it
+ wasna a forgery. He then shook his head like a doctor, when he's no
+ very sure what's wrang wi' a person, but wants to mak' it appear that
+ he kens a' about it&mdash;and continued in this style till the Heelandman's
+ patience began to get exhausted.</p>
+
+ <p>"Can ye no change the note, old shentleman?" quo' Donald. Nosey gi'ed
+ his head anither shake, and looked uncommon wise.</p>
+
+ <p>"Is the note no goot, sir?"' spak the Heelandman, a second time; but
+ the cratur, instead of answering him, only gi'ed anither of his wise
+ shakes, as much as to say, "I'm no very sure about it." At this Donald
+ lost temper. "If the note doesna please ye, sir," quo' he, "I'll thank
+ ye to gie me it back again, and I'll gang to some ither place." And he
+ stretchit out his hand to tak hand o't, when my frien' wi' the tail,
+ lifting up his stick, lent him sic a whack ower the fingers as made
+ him pu' back in the twinkling of an ee.</p>
+
+ <p>"Got tamn ye, ye auld scounrel," said the man; "do ye mean to tak my
+ money frae me?" And he lifted up a rung big eneuch to fell a stot, and
+ let flee at the monkey; but Nosey was ower quick for him, and jumping
+ aside, he lichted on a shelf before ane could say Jock Robinson. Here
+ he rowed up the note like a baw in his hand, and put it into his coat
+ pouch like any rational cratur. Not only this, but he mockit the
+ Heelandman by a' manner of means, shooting out his tongue at him,
+ spitting at him, and girning at him wi' his queer outlandish
+ physiognomy. Then he would tak haud of his tail in his twa hands, and
+ wag it at Donald, and steeking his nieves, he would seem to threaten
+ him wi' a leatherin'. A'thegither he was desperate impudent, and
+ eneuch to try the patience of a saunt, no to spak o' a het-bluided
+ Heelandman. It was gude for sair een to see how Donald behavit on this
+ occasion. He raged like ane demented, misca'ing the monkey beyond
+ measure, and swearing as mony Gaelic aiths as micht hae sair'd an
+ ordinar man for a twalmonth. During this time, I never sterr'd a foot,
+ but keepit keeking frae the back shop upon a' that was ganging on. I
+ was highly delighted; and jealousing that Nosey was ower supple to be
+ easily catched, I had nae apprehension for the event, and remained
+ snug in my birth to see the upshot.</p>
+
+ <p>In a short time, in comes Mr. Weft wi' a piece of lowing paper in his
+ hand that he had got frae the next door to licht the shop; and nae
+ sooner did Donald see him than he ax'd him for his note.</p>
+
+ <p>"What note, honest man?" said Mr. Weft.</p>
+
+ <p>"Got tamn," quo' Donald; "the note the auld scounrel, your
+ grandfather, stole frae me."</p>
+
+ <p>"My grandfaither!" answered the ither wi' amazement. "I am thinking,
+ honest man, ye hae had a glass ower muckle. My grandfaither has been
+ dead for saxteen years, and I ne'er heard tell till now that he was a
+ fief."</p>
+
+ <p>"Weel, weel, then," quo' the Heelandman, "I don't care naething about
+ it. If he's no your grandfaither, he'll be your faither, or your
+ brither, or your cousin."</p>
+
+ <p>"My faither or my brither, or my cousin!" repeated Mr. Weft. "I maun
+ tell ye plainly, frien', that I hae neither faither, nor brither, nor
+ cousin of ony description on this side of the grave. I dinna
+ understand ye, honest man, but I reckon that ye hae sat ower lang at
+ the whisky, and my advice to ye is to stap awa hame and sleep it aff."</p>
+
+ <span class="pagenum"><a id="page220" name="page220"></a>[pg 220]</span>
+ <p>At this speech the Heelandman lost a' patience, and lookit sae awfully
+ fairce, that ance or twice I was on the nick of coming forrit, and
+ explaining how matters really stood; but curiosity keepit me chained
+ to the back shop, and I just thocht I would bide a wee, and see how
+ the affair was like to end.</p>
+
+ <p>"Pray, wha are you, sir?" said Donald, putting his hands in his sides,
+ and looking through his specks upon Mr. Weft, like a deevil incarnit.
+ "Wha are you, sir, that daar to speak to me in this manner?"</p>
+
+ <p>"Wha am I?" said the ither, drapping the remnant of the paper, which
+ was burnin' close to his fingers. "I am Saunders Weft, manufacturir In
+ Hamilton&mdash;that's what I am."</p>
+
+ <p>"And I am Tonald Campbell, piper's sister's son to his grace the
+ great, grand Tuke of Argyle," thundered out the Heelandman, wi' a
+ voice that was fearsome to hear.</p>
+
+ <p>"And what about that?" quo' Mr. Weft, rather snappishly, as I thocht.
+ "If ye were the great, grand Duke of Argyle himself, as ye ca' him,
+ I'll no permit you to kick up a dust in my shop."</p>
+
+ <p>"Ye scounrel," said Donald, seizing Mr. Weft by the throat, and
+ shaking him till he tottered like an aspen leaf, "div ye mean to speak
+ ill of his grace the Tuke of Argyle?" And he gi'ed him anither
+ shake&mdash;then, laying haud of his nose, he swore that he would pu't as
+ lang as a cow's tail, if he didna that instant restore him his lost
+ property. At this sicht I began to grew a' ower, and now saw the
+ needcessity of stapping ben, and saving my employer frae farther
+ damage, bodily and itherwise. Nae sooner had I made my appearance than
+ Donald let go his grip of Mr. Weft's nose, and the latter, in a great
+ passion, cried out, "William M'Gee, I tak ye to witness what I hae
+ sufferit frae this bluid-thirsty Heelandman! It's no to be endured in
+ a Christian country. I'll hae the law of him, that I will. I'll be
+ whuppit but I'll hae amends, although it costs me twenty pounds!"</p>
+
+ <p>"What's the matter?" quo' I, pretending ignorance of the haill
+ concern. "What, in the name of Nebuchadnezzar, has set ye thegither by
+ the lugs?" Then Mr. Weft began his tale, how he had been collared and
+ weel nigh thrappled in his ain shop;&mdash;then the ither tauld how, in the
+ first place, Mr. Weft's grandfather, as he ca'd Nosey, had stolen his
+ note, and how, in the second place, Mr. Weft himsell had insulted the
+ great, grand Duke of Argyle. In a word, there was a desperate kick-up
+ between them, the ane threeping that he would tak the law of the ither
+ immediately. Na, in this respect Donald gaed the greatest lengths, for
+ he swore that, rather than be defeat, he wad carry his cause to the
+ house of lords, although it cost him thretty pounds sterling. I now
+ saw it was time to put in a word.</p>
+
+ <p>"Houts-touts, gentlemen," quo' I, "what's the use of a' this
+ clishmaclaver? Ye've baith gotten the wrang sow by the lug, or my
+ name's no William M'Gee. I'll wager ye a pennypiece, that my monkey,
+ Nosey is at the bottom of the business."</p>
+
+ <p>Nae sooner had I spoken the word, than the twa, looking round the
+ shop, spied the beastie sitting upon the shelf girning at them, and
+ putting out his tongue, and wiggle-waggling his walking-stick ower his
+ left elbow, as if he had been playing upon the fiddle. Mr. Weft at
+ this apparition set up a loud lauch; his passion left him in a moment,
+ when he saw the ridiculous mistake that the Heelandman had fa'en into,
+ and I thocht he would hae bursted his sides wi' evendown merriment. At
+ first Donald lookit desperate angry, and judging frae the way he was
+ twisting about his mouth and rowing his een, I opined that he intended
+ some deadly skaith to the monkey. But his gude sense, of which
+ Heelandmen are no a'thegither destitute, got the better of his anger,
+ and he roared and lauched like the very mischief. Nor was this a', for
+ nae sooner had he began to lauch, than the monkey did the same thing,
+ and held its sides in precisely the same manner, imitating his
+ actions, in the maist amusin' way imaginable. This only set Donald a
+ lauching mair than ever, and when he lifted up his nieve, and shook it
+ at Nosey in a gude humoured way, what think ye that the cratur did?
+ Odds man, he took the note frae his pouch, whare it lay rowed up like
+ a baw, and, papping it at Donald, hit him as fairly upon the nose, as
+ if it had been shot out of a weel-aimed musket. There was nae
+ resisting this. The haill three, or rather the haill four, for Nosey
+ joined us, set up a loud lauch; and the Heelandman's was the loudest
+ of a', showing that he was really a man of sense, and could tak a joke
+ as weel as his neighbours.</p>
+
+ <p>When the lauchin' had a wee subsided, Mr. Campbell, in order to show
+ that he had nae ill wull to Mr. Weft, ax'd his pardon for the rough
+ way he had treated him, but the worthy manufacturer wadna hear o't.
+ "Houts, man," quo' he, "dinna say a word about it. It's a mistak
+ a'thegether, and Solomon himsell, ye ken, <span class="pagenum">
+ <a id="page221" name="page221"></a>[pg 221]</span> whiles gaed wrang."
+ Whereupon the Heelandman bought a Kilmarnock nichtcap, price
+ elevenpence happeny, frae Mr. Weft, and paid him wi' part of the very
+ note that brocht on the ferly I hae just been relating. But his gude
+ wull didna end here, for he insisted on takin' us a'&mdash;Nosey amang the
+ lave&mdash;to the nearest public, where he gi'ed us a frien'ly glass, and
+ we keepit tawking about monkeys, and what not, in a manner at ance
+ edifying and amusing to hear.&mdash;<i>Blackwood's Magazine</i>.</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>SCOTCH SONG.</h3>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>The lassie we love and the friend we can trust,</p>
+ <p>And a bumper to wash from our spirits the rust;</p>
+ <p>Then let gear-scraping carls make o' life catch-the-plack,</p>
+ <p>And strod to the de'il wi' the trash on their back.</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>This life is a garden where all choose their posies:</p>
+ <p>In the spring of our youth let us gather the roses;</p>
+ <p>For brief is their bloom like the dews of the morn,</p>
+ <p>If you seek them too late you will find but a thorn.</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>If Care steal amang us he's narrowly watch'd,</p>
+ <p>By a smile or a squeeze of the hand he's dispatch'd;</p>
+ <p>Or the arm of a friend should the stout villain meet,</p>
+ <p>One blink of true love lays him dead at your feet.</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>Then fill up a glass to the absent and dear&mdash;</p>
+ <p>May their lives be serene as their breasts are sincere;</p>
+ <p>And to crown our true bliss, let us give, ere we part&mdash;</p>
+ <p>May we have in our arms whom we love in our heart.</p>
+ </div>
+
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p><i>London Weekly Review.</i></p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>THE SKETCH-BOOK.</h2>
+
+ <h4>No. XLVII.</h4>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>MATCHES IN TEENS.</h3>
+
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>"To marry!&mdash;Why, every man plays the fool once in his
+ life&mdash;but to marry is playing the fool all one's life
+ long."&mdash;CONGREVE.</p>
+ </blockquote>
+
+ <p>There is something so satisfactory in knowing at once the limit of
+ your fortunes&mdash;in making yourself secure in the first instance of that
+ happiness to which all your exertions are directed,&mdash;which is in fact
+ the end and aim of your worldly existence, and of all your worldly
+ toils&mdash;the enjoyment of domestic peace and love;&mdash;in quenching that
+ restless, burning anxiety, which is ever busy within the bosom of the
+ young and the aspiring. Marrying early, in fact, is taking time by the
+ forelock, and leading your future destinies after you, instead of
+ suffering yourself to be led and tossed about by them,&mdash;it is tearing
+ away the black veil from the brow of futurity, and perusing all her
+ lineaments in her own despite. It is [he continued with an oratorical
+ attitude] building your fate upon a rock&mdash;"</p>
+
+ <p>"Ah!" I exclaimed, "stop there&mdash;that <i>rock</i> is so commonplace."</p>
+
+ <p>Harry laughed and went on with his argument.&mdash;"Besides, there is the
+ gratification of making yourself <i>considered</i> in society&mdash;which no
+ single man is. A single man is a kind of protected or licensed
+ vagabond&mdash;rambling to and fro without stamp or mark, as Witwould might
+ say,&mdash;like a sheep that has been overlooked at tarring time. His home
+ is a desert to him,&mdash;and the love of social converse, which is so
+ natural, and so amiable at the same time keeps him eternally in a
+ state of fidgetty restlessness, which precludes all possibility of
+ serious and persevering labour. Only think of the horrors of a house
+ without a queen&mdash;Yawning servants, negligent housekeepers, extorting
+ tradespeople,&mdash;these and a thousand other annoyances, for which you
+ have no relief, because you cannot stoop to meddle or make in such
+ transactions&mdash;are the agitations which perpetually infest the domestic
+ commonwealth of a bachelor.&mdash;But turn your eyes into the house of
+ 'Benedick, the married man'&mdash;He wears his rue with a difference,
+ indeed!&mdash;There is a sense of life, bustle, mirth, and happiness, in
+ the very air of the dwelling. To be greeted with smiles at your going
+ forth and coming in&mdash;to know that there is at least one who serves you
+ without a self-interest&mdash;to hear the joyous, feminine laugh, delicate
+ and temperate in the very whirlwind of its ecstacy, ring through the
+ mansion from hour to hour&mdash;to hear the little foot pattering about you
+ as you sit at your philosophic studies&mdash;to have a friend with whom you
+ can converse freely and without fear of present offence or future
+ disadvantage&mdash;and whose presence is not without its influence and its
+ charm, even when the call of a worldly ambition summons you to&mdash;</p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>"&mdash;&mdash;Pursue</p>
+ <p>Your tasks, in social silence too,"</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>with just sense enough to understand all you can say to her&mdash;and
+ nothing so wise as to mortify you at any time by setting you right.
+ Then, instead of the natty primness of your bachelor's apartment, you
+ have your eyes feasted by that elegant confusion of the little
+ sanctuary&mdash;the charm of which cannot, unseen, be apprehended, and is
+ only known to those who are privileged to enter, by the passport of
+ Hymen. A bit of bobbin here&mdash;a thread-paper there&mdash;here a hat
+ feather&mdash;there a scrap of silk.&mdash;Besides," [drawing his chair closer
+ to mine and looking <span class="pagenum"><a id="page222" name="page222">
+ </a>[pg 222]</span> very tender] "when you love her, you know&mdash;." He
+ paused and sighed, and I groaned strenuously.&mdash;</p>
+
+ <p>"And is this all you have to say in defence of an elopement with a
+ girl of sixteen." ["A beautiful girl," he passionately interrupted]
+ "well! a beautiful girl&mdash;so young, that it is perfectly impossible for
+ you to form any judgment on her inclinations or her temper&mdash;at a time
+ when her character is undecided&mdash;unformed&mdash;when that which is mere
+ caprice, frequently assumes the hue of passion, and wears all its
+ fervour and intensity. Or if it should continue unabated&mdash;as I must
+ confess [observing him turn himself with an air before a pier glass,]
+ I see no reason why it should not&mdash;you will find the unsophistication
+ of the young lady as quickly tending to domestic disquiet, as might
+ have been her inconstancy&mdash;She will be unreasonable in her exactions
+ on your confidence, and you will be compelled to take refuge in fits
+ of sullenness&mdash;perhaps rudeness;&mdash;and then what becomes of that
+ blissful state, where like you, every body expects, and so very&mdash;very
+ few <i>find</i> happiness?&mdash;to secure which the most perfect union of taste
+ and feeling&mdash;the utmost kindliness of manner, and a politeness as
+ habitual as motion itself, are absolute requisites?&mdash;Have you no
+ further arguments to offer in favour of this measure of yours?&mdash;"</p>
+
+ <p>"Oh, yes," said he, very dryly, "I have one more."</p>
+
+ <p>"What may that be?"</p>
+
+ <p>"That I WILL marry her."</p>
+
+ <p>"Oh!..." said I.</p>
+
+ <p>And without exchanging another word, I put on my great coat, and we
+ sallied forth together to the rendezvous of the lovers. The fair
+ fugitive was true to her appointment, and at the first sound of the
+ expected footfall, glided from her concealment into the happy
+ scoundrel's arms. The action which followed I could not see (though it
+ was a bright moonlight,) for a breeze lifted the large veil which hung
+ over the lady's shoulder, in such a manner as to envelope the
+ countenances of both. What the action <i>ought</i> to have been, perhaps
+ you, madam, or you, mademoiselle, may inform me?&mdash;I only know that
+ when the modest zephyr passed, and the veil fell back again, the fair
+ cheek that it revealed glowed with</p>
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>"A pudency so rosy, the sweet view on't,</p>
+ <p>Might well have warm'd old Saturn."</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>Harry gave me his hand (heartily) as he stood on the carriage step,
+ and the bride wafted me a farewell with the prettiest action of her
+ fan from the window, and murmured,&mdash;"Give me a good wish for the
+ tobacconist."</p>
+
+ <p>"Yes," said I; "may you never have occasion to say of the love that
+ now leads you to him, that</p>
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>"'Its beacon light is quench'd in <i>smoke</i>.'"</p>
+ </blockquote>
+
+ <p>[For although naturally grave, and silently given, I often catch
+ myself endeavouring to sport a bad pun, when I have got the ear of a
+ fair damsel] The only effect which the witticism produced in the
+ present instance, however, was an enormous groan, in which the fellows
+ on the dickey participated. Even the postilion who stood near, set up
+ a crowing laugh&mdash;and the very horses by their snorting and neighing,
+ seemed to be sensible of the utter and deplorable failure.</p>
+
+ <p>And away they went&mdash;and they were hotly pursued, and overtaken, <i>just</i>
+ in time to be too late&mdash;which left no other course but that of
+ reconciliation;&mdash;and where there is no choice to be made, every body
+ knows there is but one part to be taken.</p>
+
+ <p>That occurrence is now three years since, and it was only the other
+ day that I again met the pair of turtles. Dropping in rather late at a
+ card-party, I beheld them sitting vis-a-vis at one of the tables,
+ playing together against an old lady and gentleman, before whom Mrs.
+ L&mdash;&mdash; thought, perhaps, it was not necessary to appear <i>very</i>
+ fashionable towards dear Harry. With the requisite <i>ceremonious
+ unceremoniousness</i> so popular at present, I took a chair behind him,
+ and annoyed him every moment by remarks upon his wife; of course all
+ highly nattering to both.</p>
+
+ <p>"My love, you have played that card wrong&mdash;very wrong."</p>
+
+ <p>"Did I, my dear?" replied Mrs. L. smiling languidly, and looking in
+ his face more as if she was admiring the elegant turn of his forehead,
+ and the spirited expression of his dark eye, than as if she minded
+ what he was saying&mdash;"'tis indeed&mdash;very."</p>
+
+ <p>"'Tis what?"</p>
+
+ <p>"Oh! were you not speaking of something? I beg pardon, love&mdash;I thought
+ you spoke."</p>
+
+ <p>"And so I did, my dear. I told you that card was played most
+ abominably."</p>
+
+ <p>"I dare say, my love;&mdash;[still gazing in his eyes and smiling]&mdash;I know
+ I'm very stupid,"&mdash;[playing a card.]</p>
+
+ <p>"Well, you have taken a curious way to mend matters&mdash;that last play
+ was a thousand degrees worse than the other."</p>
+
+ <p>"I dare say, my love,&mdash;[looking in his face, and continuing to drawl
+ and simper in the manner which we might <span class="pagenum"><a id="page223"
+ name="page223"></a>[pg 223]</span> imagine of Shakspeare's little
+ shepherdess&mdash;</p>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>"'Sweet youth chide on&mdash;I had rather hear thee chide</p>
+ <p>Than others woo&mdash;'"]</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <p>"But tell me, love, when I play wrong," [playing again without taking
+ her eyes from his, even to look at her card.]</p>
+
+ <p>"I had much better leave you to yourself," said L.</p>
+
+ <p>"'<i>You will be compelled to take refuge in fits of sullenness</i>,'"
+ muttered I, quoting from my former prophecy.</p>
+
+ <p>"My dear,"&mdash;[pronounced just in the same way as he might have said,
+ 'you fool,']&mdash;pray open your eyes."</p>
+
+ <p>"<i>Perhaps in rudeness</i>," I continued.</p>
+
+ <p>"There again!" cried poor L&mdash;&mdash;, who seemed in danger of being ruined
+ by the admiration of his wife. "It is not possible for a card to be
+ played worse than that. Your head, my dear, must be as confused as
+ your boudoir."</p>
+
+ <p>"<i>A bit of bobbin here&mdash;a hat feather there</i>," I continued, growing
+ malicious.</p>
+
+ <p>"Sir," cried L&mdash;&mdash;, starting round in a passion. Fixing his eyes for a
+ moment on my wooden phiz, however, he burst into a fit of laughter,
+ and then as suddenly assuming a most doleful change of countenance, he
+ squeezed my hand and said to me apart, in a tragic tone, "Ah, my dear
+ friend, you were right&mdash;you were right."</p>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>"He that would lead a happy married life,</p>
+ <p>First learn to rule, and then to have, a wife,"</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+ <p>say Beaumont and Fletcher&mdash;and a pleasant
+ aphorism it is too&mdash;and a wise and
+ useful&mdash;but with a slight alteration, a
+ periphrasis comprehending advice not less
+ to the purpose may be presented&mdash;</p>
+
+ <div class="poem">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <p>"He that would lead a happy wedded life,</p>
+ <p>Beware of marrying a <i>too</i> youthful wife."</p>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>USEFUL DOMESTIC HINTS.</h2>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h4>FININGS FOR WINES.</h4>
+
+
+ <p>If wine does not become clear soon enough, for each forty gallons
+ dissolve an ounce of isinglass in a quart of water. Strain and mix
+ this with part of the liquor, beat it up to a froth, and pour it into
+ the rest; stir the whole well, and bung it up, except there should be
+ an appearance of fermentation; if so, leave the bung out till it has
+ ceased. Instead of isinglass, some use hartshorn shavings, in rather
+ larger quantities; red wines are fined with eggs, twelve to the pipe,
+ beaten up to a froth, mixed with the wine, <i>and well stirred in</i>.</p>
+
+ <p>Gypsum or alabaster is used to clear cloudy white wines; as also fresh
+ slaked lime; and the size of a walnut of sugar of lead, with a table
+ spoonful of sal enixum, is put to forty gallons of muddy wine, to
+ clear it; and hence, as the sugar of lead is decomposed, and changed
+ into an insoluble sulphat of lead, which falls to the bottom, the
+ practice is not so dangerous as has been represented.</p>
+
+
+ <h4>MANNER OF USING FININGS.</h4>
+
+
+ <p>Put the finings, when ready, into a pail, with a little of what you
+ are going to fine; whisk them together till they are perfectly mixed,
+ and then nearly fill up the pail with the liquor, whisking it well
+ about again, after which, if the cask be full, take out four or five
+ gallons to make room; take a staff and stir it well; next whisk the
+ finings up, and put them in, stirring well together for five minutes;
+ then drive in the bung, leaving the vent-peg loose for three or four
+ days, after which drive it in tight.</p>
+
+
+ <h4>OF FLAVOURING AND COLOURING WINES.</h4>
+
+
+ <p>The quality of roughness natural to those red wines in which the skins
+ and a portion of the stems have been subjected to the process of
+ fermentation, is readily communicated by astringent substances, and by
+ none more easily or purely than by catechu and kino, substances free
+ from injurious flavour; the sloe is also used; similar roughness,
+ accompanied with flavour, is given by the chips of oak and beech; and
+ if logwood and walnut peels are used, the astringency will also be
+ united to a portion of colour and flavour. All these substances may be
+ rendered highly useful in giving positive qualities to insipid wines.
+ A simple infusion alone is necessary, in such proportion as the
+ exigencies may require; care being taken to rack and fine the wine
+ after the desired effect has been obtained.&mdash;<i>The Vintner's Guide</i>.</p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+ <h2>THE GATHERER.</h2>
+
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>"I am but a <i>Gatherer</i> and disposer of other men's
+ stuff."&mdash;<i>Wotton</i>.</p>
+ </blockquote>
+
+ <hr />
+
+ <h3>BIRDS POISONING THEIR YOUNG.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>Mr. Holmes, in his "Account of the United States of America," relates
+ that some of the birds of North America are remarkable for poisoning
+ their young; but this is only done if they are encaged or confined.
+ The <i>robin</i> is one of the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page224"
+ name="page224"></a>[pg 224]</span> birds thus noticed. If the young be taken,
+ and placed in a cage where the parent birds can discover them, they
+ will attend upon and feed them for a season; but after the lapse of a
+ few days, or when the young are fledged, the old ones appear very
+ uneasy, and endeavour to discover some way by which they may escape.
+ If, however, they perceive that there is no hope of accomplishing
+ their purpose, they procure for them a sort of berry, which is an
+ infallible poison; <i>apparently disdaining the thought that their
+ offspring should be slaves</i>!</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>A CONNOISSEUR.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>Vernet relates, that he was once employed to paint a landscape, with a
+ cave, and St. Jerome in it; he accordingly painted the landscape, with
+ St. Jerome at the entrance of the cave. When he delivered the picture,
+ the purchaser, who understood nothing of perspective, said, "the
+ landscape and the cave are well made, but St. Jerome is not <i>in</i> the
+ cave."&mdash;"I understand you, sir," replied Vernet, "I will alter it." He
+ therefore took the painting, and made the shade darker, so that the
+ saint seemed to sit farther in. The gentleman took the painting; but
+ it again appeared to him that the saint was not in the cave. Vernet
+ then wiped out the figure, and gave it to the gentleman, who seemed
+ perfectly satisfied. Whenever he saw strangers to whom he showed the
+ picture, he said, "Here you see a picture by Vernet, with St. Jerome
+ in the cave." "But we cannot see the saint," replied the visiters.
+ "Excuse me, gentlemen," answered the possessor, "he is there; for I
+ have seen him standing at the entrance, and afterwards farther back;
+ and am therefore quite sure that he is in it."</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>BLACK MAN'S DREAM.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>A number of years bygone, a black man, named Peter Cooper, happened to
+ marry a fair lady of Greenock, who did not use him with that
+ tenderness that he conceived himself entitled to. Having tried all
+ other arts to retrieve her lost affections in vain, Peter at last
+ resolved to work upon her fears of punishment in another world for her
+ conduct in this. Pretending, therefore, to awake one morning
+ extravagantly alarmed, his helpmate was full of anxiety to know what
+ was the matter; and having sufficiently, as he thought, whetted her
+ curiosity, by mysteriously hinting that "he could a tale unfold," at
+ length Peter proceeded as follows:&mdash;"H&mdash;ll of a dream last night. I
+ dream I go to Hebben and rap at de doa, and a gent'man came to de doa
+ wid black coat and powda hair. Whoa dere? Peeta Coopa.&mdash;Whoa Peeta
+ Coopa? Am not know you&mdash;Not knowa Peeta Coopa! Look de book, Sa.&mdash;He
+ take de book, and he look de book, and he could'na find Peeta
+ Coopa.&mdash;Den I say, Oh! lad, oh! look again, finda Peeta Coopa in a
+ corna.&mdash;He take de book, an he look de book, an at last he finda Peeta
+ Coopa in lilly, lilly (little) corna.&mdash;'Peeta Coopa, cook ob de <i>Royal
+ Charlotte</i> ob Greenock.'&mdash;Walk in, Sa. Den I walk in, and dere was
+ every ting&mdash;all kind of vittal&mdash;collyflower too&mdash;an I eat, and I
+ drink, and I dance, and I ting, an I neva be done; segar too, by
+ Gum.&mdash;Den I say, oh! lad, oh! look for Peeta Coopa wife. He take de
+ book, an he look all oba de book, many, many, many a time, corna an
+ all; and he couldna finda Peeta Coopa wife. Den I say, Oh! lad, oh!
+ look de black book; he take de black book, and he look de black book,
+ and he finda Peeta Coopa wife fust page,&mdash;'Peeta-Coopa-wife,
+ buckra-woman, bad-to-her-husband.'"</p>
+
+ <hr />
+
+
+ <h3>MAGICAL CLOCK.</h3>
+
+
+ <p>Droz, a Genevian mechanic, once constructed a clock which was capable
+ of the following surprising movements:&mdash;There were seen on it a negro,
+ a dog, and a shepherd; when the clock struck, the shepherd played six
+ tunes on his flute, and the dog approached and fawned upon him. This
+ clock was exhibited to the King of Spain, who was delighted with it.
+ "The gentleness of my dog," said Droz, "is his least merit; if your
+ Majesty touch one of the apples, which you see in the shepherd's
+ basket, you will admire the fidelity of this animal." The King took an
+ apple, and the dog flew at his hand, and barked so loud, that the
+ King's dog, which was in the room, began also to bark; at this the
+ Courtiers, not doubting that it was an affair of witchcraft, hastily
+ left the room, crossing themselves as they went out. The minister of
+ Marine was the only one that ventured to stay. The king having desired
+ him to ask the negro what o'clock it was, the minister obeyed, but he
+ obtained no reply. Droz then observed, that the negro had not yet
+ learned Spanish.</p>
+
+ <hr class="full" />
+
+
+ <p><i>Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset
+ House,) and sold by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i></p>
+
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11384 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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