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diff --git a/11264-0.txt b/11264-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..32f692e --- /dev/null +++ b/11264-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1608 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11264 *** + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION + +VOL. XII. No. 327.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 16, 1828. [PRICE 2d. + + + +ROSAMOND'S WELL AND LABYRINTH. + + +[Illustration: Rosamond's Well and Labyrinth at Woodstock.] + +For the originals of the annexed engravings we are indebted to the +sketchbooks of two esteemed correspondents.[1] The sites are so +consecrated, or we should rather say perpetuated, in history, and the +fates and fortunes of Rosamond Clifford are so familiar to our readers, +that we shall add but few words on the locality of the Well and Bower. +Their existence is thus attested by Drayton, the poet, in the reign of +Queen Elizabeth:--"Rosamond's Labyrinth, whose ruins, together with her +Well, being paved with square stones in the bottom, and also her Tower, +from which the Labyrinth did run, are yet remaining, being vaults arched +and walled with stone and brick, almost inextricably wound within one +another, by which, if at any time her lodging were laid about by the +queen, she might easily avoid peril imminent, and, if need be, by secret +issues, take the air abroad, many furlongs about Woodstock, in +Oxfordfordshire." + +Sir Walter Scott (of whom, as of Goldsmith, it may hereafter be said, he +"left no species of writing untouched or unadorned by his pen") has +resuscitated the interest attached to this spot, in his masterly novel +of _Woodstock_.[2] It is here that the beautiful Alice meets the +facetious Charles in his disguise of an old woman; and on the bank over +the Well is the spot where tradition relates fair Rosamond yielded to +the menaces of Eleanor. Our correspondent, _T.W._, jocosely observes, +that he sends us the Labyrinth "without the silken cord which guided the +cruel Eleanor to her rival, in the hope that the ingenuity of the reader +will be sufficient to serve him in its stead. Observe," continues he, +"the maze is entered at one of the side gates, and the bower must be +reached without any of the barriers (--) being passed over--that is, by +an uninterrupted pathway."[3] + +The bower consists of fine tall trees, whose branches hang entwined over +the front of the well. The spring is contained in a large basin, formed +by a plain stone wall, which serves as a facing and support to the bank; +the water flows from hence through a hole of about five inches in +diameter, and is conveyed by a channel under the pavement into another +basin of considerable dimensions, fenced with an iron railing. Hence it +again escapes by means of a grating into the beautiful lake of Woodstock +Park, or, as it is more modernly termed, Blenheim. + +In these days of "hobgoblin lore," it may not be incurious to add, that +Woodstock is distinguished in Dr. Plot's _History of Oxfordshire_ (the +_title_ of which is well known to all readers of the marvellous) as the +scene of a series of hoax and disturbance played off upon the +commissioners of the Long Parliament, who were sent down to dispark and +destroy Woodstock, after the death of Charles I.; and Sir Walter Scott +thinks it "highly probable" that this "piece of phantasmagoria was +conducted by means of the secret passages and recesses in the Labyrinth +of Rosamond"--it must be admitted, a very convenient scene for such a +farce. Sir Walter says, "I have not the book at hand"--neither have we; +but we may probably allude to this curious affair on some future +occasion. In the meantime, if our present reference should kindle the +curiosity of the reader, and he may not be disposed to await our time, +we beg to recommend him to Glanville's well-known work on witchcraft, +which not only contains Dr. Plot's narrative of the Woodstock +disturbances, but a multitude of argument for all who are sceptical of +this and similar mysteries. This is an age of inquiry, and we do not see +why such follies should be left unturned--from Priam's shade to the +murderous dreams and omens of our own times. + + [1] SAGITTARIUS--and T.W. of Hoxton. + + [2] For an abstract of "Woodstock," an engraving, and much + valuable information respecting the palace, see our vol. vii. + pp. 289--316--322--327--338, &c. + + [3] As there is a vulgar error on Rosamond's being buried in the + labyrinth, we subjoin the following by another correspondent. + + Many readers of the MIRROR, perhaps, have hitherto been only + acquainted with the fictitious part of Fair Rosamond's history. + The few subjoined facts, relative to the eventful life of that + lady, may be implicitly relied on, as they are very carefully + gleaned from the _most authenticated sources_. + + The first mistress to king Henry II. was Rosamond, daughter of + Walter Clifford, Baron of Hereford. She was esteemed the + greatest beauty in England, and her intrigue with Henry was most + probably began when he was not much above sixteen years of age. + Very soon after his amorous acquaintance with this lady, the + state of political affairs in England required his absence, and + he did not again return to this country until the year 1153; so + that there must have been a lapse of nearly six years from the + period of his first intimacy with Rosamond, to the renewal of + that intimacy at his return. + + About the year 1157, king Henry took extraordinary precautions + to conceal his intrigue from the knowledge of queen Eleanor, a + woman, of wonderful spirit and penetration, to whom he had been + espoused at the period of his accession to the throne, in 1155. + This circumstance has given rise to the romantic tradition of + his forming a sort of labyrinth at Woodstock Palace, for the + purpose of concealing his fond mistress from the vengeance of + Eleanor; but the story of her being murdered in that palace by + the queen is perfectly false, for it is sufficiently evident + that she retired to the nunnery of Godstow, where she ended her + days in peace, though in what year it is difficult to decide. + After Rosamond's decease, the king bestowed large revenues on + the convent, in return for which, he required that lamps should + be kept continually burning about the lady's remains, which were + interred near the high altar, in a tomb covered with silk. + + We may naturally conclude from these circumstances, that, as + long as the connexion between king Henry and Rosamond continued, + the former had no other object in his affections; yet we are + informed by a writer of Thomas à Becket's life, that there lived + a remarkably handsome girl, at Stafford, with whom king Henry + was said to cohabit. However, observes the same writer, Rosamond + _might_ have been dead before the second intrigue was commenced. + + G.W.N. + + * * * * * + + +THE "NAPOLEON" CHILD. + + +On Friday the 8th inst. we paid a visit to the Bazaar in Oxford-street, +to witness this extraordinary sport of Nature, about which the French +and English newspapers have lately been so communicative. + +The child is an engaging little girl, about three years old. The colour +of her eyes is pale blue, and on the iris, or circle round their pupils, +the inscriptions on + + _Left Eye_. + NAPOLEON + EMPEREUR. + + _Right Eye_. + EMPEREUR. + NAPOLEON. + +may be traced in the above sized letters, although all the letters are +not equally visible, the commencement "NAP" and "EMP" being the most +distinct. The colour of the letters is almost white, and at first sight +of the child they appear like _rays_, which make the eyes appear +vivacious and sparkling. The accuracy of the inscriptions is much +assisted by the stillness of the eye, on its being directed upwards, as +to an object on the ceiling of the room, &c.; and with this aid the +several letters may be traced with the naked eye. + +This effect is accounted for by the child's mother earnestly looking at +a franc-piece of Napoleon's, which was given to her by her brother +previous to a long absence; and this operating during her pregnancy, has +produced the appearance in question. It was visible at the child's +birth, and has increased with her growth. She has been seen by Sir +Astley Cooper and other leading members of the profession, and probably +before our Number is published, she will have been shown to the King. +She is an interesting little creature, prattles playfully, and will +doubtless receive the caresses of thousands of visitors. + +Our contemporaries are, we perceive, somewhat divided as to the +distinctness of the inscription; but we have given our opinion +fairly--and, as the proverb runs, "seeing is believing." One of them +describes the child as "a little _boy_, about two years old." This +reminds us of the man in the _Critic_, "give these fellows a good thing, +and they never know when to have done with it." + + * * * * * + + +PORTUGUESE PRISONS. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + +Most of the Portuguese prisons are horrible in the extreme; and it is +utterly impossible for the most hardy individuals, who have the +misfortune to be long confined within them, to preserve their health +from ruin. + +The famous prison of the _Limoeiro_, at Lisbon, is a dreadful place of +durance. It is situated on one of the mountainous streets in the +Portuguese metropolis, and was formerly the archbishop's palace. A vast +proportion of the crimes committed in the city are plotted between the +persons confined within, and those without, the prison; for there is +nothing to prevent constant communication with the street through the +double iron-bars, so that an unchecked and unobserved intercourse is +maintained, much to the furtherance of crime. Through these bars all +sorts of food, liquors, raiment, weapons, &c. can be conveyed from the +street; and, indeed, through these bars the meals of the prisoners are +served. The prison is capable of containing about 700 people; the usual +number, however, is 400. The state of the apartments in which the +criminals pass their time is truly distressing. The stench is +overpowering; and though visitors remain in the rooms only a few +minutes, they often retire seriously indisposed. The expense of +maintaining the prisoners is 8,000 cruzados, or about 1,000_l_. per +annum. Of this sum, one-half is paid by the city, and the other by the +_Misericordia_, a benevolent association, possessing large funds from +various bequeathed estates. Nevertheless, the food appears insufficient; +it consists chiefly of a soup made of rice. The allowance of bread is +one pound and a half per day for four persons. + +G.W.N. + + * * * * * + + +ADDRESSED TO MISS STREET. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + + In London's variegated streets + The eye, whatever pleases, meets; + For like another Street, I know, + Those Streets each day more charming grow. + + As if by magic's changeful wand, + Taste, beauty, order, strength combine; + And shew a mighty master's hand + In every graceful curve and line. + + But meaner temples strive in vain + Perfection's envied height to gain; + For in our matchless Street alone, + The charm of perfect beauty's known. + + How blest, if at that living shrine, + With deepest feeling, warm and true, + The nameless happiness were mine, + To bend in form--and spirit too. + + But no--though in my ardent breast, + The fires of love must ever rise, + Th' adverse circles of my fate, + Forbid the outward sacrifice. + + My spirit breathes its inmost breath, + In this my first--my last confession:-- + The passion will survive till death, + But never more can know expression. + +W. + + * * * * * + + +CHILDE'S TOMB. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + +From "time out of mind" a tradition has existed in Dartmoor, Devon, and +is noticed by several writers, that one _John Childe_, of Plymstock, a +gentleman of large possessions, and a noted hunter, whilst enjoying that +sport during a very inclement season, was benighted, lost his way, and +perished through cold and fear, in the south quarter of the forest, near +Fox-tor, after taking the precaution to kill his horse, (which he much +valued), as a last resource, and for the sake of warmth and prolonging +life, to creep into its bowels, leaving a paper, denoting, that whoever +should find and bury his body, should have his lands at Plymstock. + + "_The furste that fyndes and bringes me to my grave, + The landes of Plymstoke they shal have_." + +This couplet was found on his person afterwards. Childe, having no +issue, had previously declared his intention of bestowing his estates +upon the church wherein he might be buried, which coming to the +knowledge of the monks of Tavistock, they eagerly seized the body, and +were conveying it to that place; but learning on the way, that some +people of Plymstock were waiting at a ford to intercept the prey, they +cunningly ordered a bridge to be built out of the usual track, thence +pertinently called _Guile_-bridge, and succeeding in their object, +became possessed of the lands until the dissolution, when the Russell +family received a grant of them, and still retain it. + +In memory of Childe, a tomb was erected to him in a place a little below +Fox-tor, where he perished, which stood perfect till about fifteen years +since; but it has been destroyed by some ignorant "landlord or tenant," +for building materials, and it is now in a ruinous condition. It was +composed of hewn granite, the under basement comprising four stones, six +feet long by four square, and eight stones more, growing shorter as the +pile ascended, with an octagonal basement, above three feet high, and a +cross affixed to it. The whole, when perfect, wore an antique and +impressive appearance, and it may now, as it is, be looked upon as an +object of antiquity and curiosity. + +A socket and groove for the cross, and the cross itself, with its shaft +broken, are the only remains of this venerable tomb, on which Risdon +says there was an inscription, but now no traces of it are visible. + +W. H. H. + + * * * * * + + +REMEMBER THEE. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + + Remember thee! thou wouldst not cherish--breathe, + One claim for Memory in a heart like mine; + Yet, all it-all its hopes for Heaven, or Earth beneath. + Were worthless, if unshared by thee and thine! + + Remember thee! yes, bound in strongest ties + Are those blest ones, that at thy feet may fall,-- + The heart whom Fortune such dear bonds denies, + Is proud to love thee dearer than them all! + + Remember thee! there is no shame in this, + Though oft my heart may wander, and my eye, + Picturing fair shapes of too ideal bliss, + Forgets the "cold world of reality." + + Remember thee! there is no error here-- + To love the gay, the beautiful, the bright, + With fondest passion, then to turn with fear + To sterner duties--tasks forgotten quite. + + Remember thou that one, who loved thee well + Though scorned, and broken-hearted, and undone, + When, without shame, thy ruby lips may tell + How deep the passion of that nameless one! + + Remember! oh, remember! in those years + Which fleet so fast--which I may never see; + Then, whilst I linger in this "vale of tears," + What should I think upon, but God and thee! + +THOMAS M----s. + + * * * * * + + +ANCIENT ROMAN FESTIVALS + +AUGUST. + +(_For the Mirror._) + + +The _Portumnalia_ was a festival in honour of _Portumnus_, who was +supposed to preside over ports and havens, celebrated on the 17th of +August, in a very solemn and lugubrious manner, on the borders of the +Tiber. + +The _Vinalia_ were festivals in honour of Jupiter and Venus. The first +was held on the 19th of August, and the second on the 1st of May. The +Vinalia of the 19th of August were called _Vinalia Rustica_, and were +instituted on occasion of the war of the Latins against Mezentius; in +the course of which war, that people vowed a libation to Jupiter of all +the wine in the succeeding vintage. On the same day likewise fell the +dedication of a temple to Venus; whence some authors have fallen into a +mistake, that these Vinalia were sacred to Venus. + +The _Consuales Ludi_, or _Consualia_, were festivals at Rome in honour +of _Consus_, the god of counsel, whose altar Romulus discovered under +the ground. This altar was always covered, except at the festival, when +a mule was sacrificed, and games and horse-races exhibited in honour of +Neptune. It was during these festivals (says Lempriere) that Romulus +carried away the Sabine women, who had assembled to be spectators of the +games. They were first instituted by Romulus. Some say, however, that +Romulus only regulated and re-instituted them after they had been before +established by Evander. During the celebration, which happened about the +middle of August, horses, mules, and asses were exempted from all +labour, and were led through the streets adorned with garlands and +flowers. + +The _Volturnalia_ was a festival kept in honour of the god Volturnus, on +the 26th of August. + +The _Ambarvalia_ were festivals in honour of Ceres, in order to procure +a happy harvest. At these festivals they sacrificed a bull, a sow, and a +sheep, which, before the sacrifice, were led in procession thrice around +the fields; whence the feast is supposed to have taken its name, _ambio, +I go round_, and _arvum, field_. These feasts were of two kinds, +_public_ and _private_. The _private_ were solemnized by the masters of +families, accompanied by their children and servants, in the villages +and farms out of Rome. The _public_ were celebrated in the boundaries of +the city, and in which twelve _fratres arvales_ walked at the head of a +procession of the citizens, who had lands and vineyards at Rome. These +festivals took place at the time the harvest was ripe. + +The _Vulcanalia_ were festivals in honour of Vulcan, and observed at the +latter end of August. The streets of Rome were illuminated, fires +kindled every where, and animals thrown into the flames as a sacrifice +to the deity. + +P.T.W. + + * * * * * + + + +THE NOVELIST + + +BEBUT THE AMBITIOUS. + + + "Hear this true story, and see whither you may + be conducted by ambition." + + Hafiz, _the Persian Poet_. + +In one of the suburbs of Ispahan, under the reign of Abbas the First, +there lived a poor, working jeweller. In his neighbourhood he was known +by the name of Bebut the Honest. Numberless were the proofs of probity +and disinterestedness which had gained for him this title. + +In all disputes and quarrels, he was the chosen arbiter. His decisions +were generally as conclusive as those of the Kazi himself. Laborious, +active, and intelligent, and esteemed by all who knew him, Bebut was +happy; and his happiness was still enhanced by love. Tamira, the +beautiful daughter of his patron, was the object of his attachment, +which she returned. One thought alone disturbed his felicity; he was +poor, and the father of Tamira would never accept a son-in-law without a +fortune. Bebut, therefore, often meditated upon the means of getting +rich. His thoughts dwelt so much on this subject, that ambition at +length became a dangerous rival to the softer sentiment. + +There was a grand festival in the harem. In the midst of it, the great +Schah Abbas dropped the royal aigrette, called jigha, the mark of +sovereignty among the Mussulmans. In changing his position, that it +might be sought for, he inadvertently trod upon it, and it was broken. +The officer who had charge of the crown jewels, knew the reputation of +Bebut; to him he applied to repair this treasure. None but the most +honest could be trusted with an article of such value, and who was there +so honest as Bebut? Bebut was enraptured with the confidence. He +promised to prove himself deserving of it. + +Now Bebut holds in his hands the richest gems of Persia and the Indies. +Ambition has already stolen into his bosom. Could it be silent on an +occasion like this? It ought to have been so, but it was not. + +"A single one of these numerous diamonds," said Bebut to himself, "would +make my fortune and that of Tamira! I am incapable of a breach of trust; +but were I to commit one, would Abbas be the worse for it? No, so far +from it, he would have made two of his subjects happy without being +aware. Now, any body else situated as I am, would manage to put aside a +vast treasure out of a job like this; but one, and that a very small +one, of these many gems will be enough for me. It will be wrong, I +confess, but I will replace it by a false one, cut and enchased with +such exquisite taste and skill, that the value of the workmanship shall +make up for any want of value in the material. It will be impossible to +see the change; God and the Prophet will see it plainly enough, I know; +but I will atone for the sin, and it shall be my only one. Sometime or +other I will go a pilgrimage to Mashad, or even to Mecca, should my +remorse grow troublesome." + +Thus, by the power of a "but," did Bebut the Honest contrive to quiet +his conscience. The diamond was removed: a bit of crystal took its +place, and the jigha appeared more brilliant than ever to the courtiers +of Abbas, who, as they never spoke to him but with their foreheads in +the dust, could, of course, form a very accurate estimate of the lustre +of his jewels. + +One day during the spring equinox, as the chief of the sectaries of Ali, +according to the custom of Persia, was sitting at the gate of his palace +to hear the complaints of his people, a mechanic from the suburb of +Julfa broke through the crowd; he prostrated himself at the feet of the +Abbas, and prayed for justice; he accused the kazi of corruption, and of +having condemned him wrongfully. "My adversary and I," said he, "at +first appealed to Bebut the Honest, who decided in my favour." Being +informed who this Bebut was whose name for honesty stood so high in the +suburb of Julfa, the Schah ordered the kazi into his presence. The +monarch heard both sides and weighed the affair maturely. He then +pronounced for the decision of Bebut the Honest, whom he ordered the +kalantar, or governor of the city, immediately to bring before him. + +When Bebut saw the officer and his escort halt before the shop where he +worked, a sudden tremor ran through his frame; but it was much worse +when, in the name of the Schah, the officer commanded him to follow. He +was on the point of offering his head at once, in order to save the +trouble of a superfluous ceremony which could not, he thought, but end +with the scimitar. However, he composed himself, and followed the +kalantar. + +Arrived before Abbas, he did not dare lift his eyes, lest he should see +the fatal aigrette, and the false diamond rise up in judgment against +him. Half dead with fright, he thought he already beheld the fierce +rikas advancing with their horrid hatchets. + +"Bebut, and you, Ismael-kazi," said Abbas to them, "listen. Since, of +the two, it is the jeweller who best administers justice, let the +jeweller be a judge, and the judge be a jeweller. Ismael, take Bebut's +place in the workshop of his master: may you acquit yourself as well in +his office, as he is sure to do in yours." + +The sentence was punctually executed; and I am told that Ismael turned +out an excellent jeweller. + +Bebut-kazi, on his side, took possession of his place. He was quite +determined to limit his ambition to becoming the husband of Tamira, and +living holily. He immediately asked her in marriage, and was immediately +accepted. Bebut thought himself at the summit of his wishes. He was +forming the most delightful projects, when again the kalantar of Ispahan +appeared at his door. Still, full of the fright into which this worthy +person's first visit had thrown him, he received him with more flurry +than politeness. He inquired, confusedly, to what he was indebted for +the honour of this second visit. The kalantar replied, "When I went to +the house of your patron to transmit to you the mandate of the +magnanimous Abbas, I saw there the beautiful Tamira with the gazelle +eyes, the rose of Ispahan, brilliant as the azure campac which only +grows in Paradise. Her glance produced on me the magical effect of the +seal of Solomon, and I resolved to take her for my wife. I went this +very morning to her father, but his word was given to you; and +Bebut-kazi is the only obstacle to my happiness. Listen! I possess great +riches, and have powerful friends; give up to me your claim on Tamira, +and, ere long, I will get you appointed divan-beghi; you shall be the +chief sovereign of justice in the first city in the universe; I will +give you my own sister for a wife, she who was formerly the nightingale +of Iran, the dove of Babylon. I leave you to reflect on my offer; +to-morrow I return for the answer." + +The new kazi was thunderstruck. "What! yield my Tamira to him for his +sister! Why, she may be old and ugly; 'tis like exchanging a pearl of +Bahrein for one of Mascata; but he is powerful. If I do not consent, he +will deprive me of my place; and I like my place; and yet I would freely +sacrifice it for Tamira. But were I no longer kazi, would her father +keep his promise? Doubtful. I love Tamira more than all the world; but +we must not be selfish; we must forget our own interest, when it injures +those we love. To deprive Tamira of a chance of being the wife of a +kalantar would be doing her an injury. How could I have the heart to +force her to forego such a glory, merely for the sake of the poor +insignificant kazi that I am! I should never get over it; 'tis done! I +will immolate my happiness to hers! I shall be very wretched; +but--but--I shall be divan-beghi." + +If Bebut the Honest, misled by dawning avarice, fancied he committed his +first fault for the sake of love, and not of ambition, he must have been +undeceived when these two rival passions came into competition, and he +could only banish the first. If his eyes were not opened, those of the +world began to be; for, from that moment, he lost (when he had more need +of them than ever) the esteem and confidence he had hitherto inspired, +and became known by the name of Bebut the Ambitious. + +Not yet aware that the higher we rise in rank, the harder we find it to +be virtuous, he was for ever flattering himself with the future. Now, +his conduct was to be such as should edify the whole body of the +magistracy of Ispahan, of which he was become the head. He would not be +satisfied with going to Mecca to visit the black stone, the temple of +Kaaba, and purifying himself in the waters of Zim-zim, the miraculous +spring which God caused to issue from the earth for Agar, and her son +Ismael. He would do more; he would distribute a double zekath[4] to the +poor, and win back for the divan-beghi the noble title which the people +gave to the mechanic of the suburb of Julfa. + +The first judgment which he pronounced as divan-beghi, bore evidence of +this excellent resolution; but an unfortunate event occurred, which +proved the truth of the following verse of the renowned Ferdusi, in his +poem of the "Schah-nameh."[5] + +"_Our first fault, like the prolific poppy of Aboutige, produces seeds +innumerable. The wind wafts them away, and we know not where they fall, +or when they may rise; but this we know, they meet us at every step upon +the path of life, and strew it with plants of bitterness._" + +The royal aigrette of Schah Abbas was again broken, and immediately +confided to an old comrade of Bebut. He had not, however, the surname of +"Honest," and his work was consequently subjected to a cautious +scrutiny. Now, it was discovered that a very fine diamond had been taken +from the jigha and fraudulently replaced; the unfortunate jeweller was +arrested and dragged to the tribunal of the divan-beghi. The ambitious +Bebut felt that there was no chance for him if he did not hurry the +affair to an immediate close. He forthwith condemned his innocent +fellow-labourer to the punishment due to his own iniquity, and the +sentence was executed on the instant. + +His conscience told him that a man like him was unworthy to administer +justice to his fellow-citizens. A pilgrimage to Mecca would now no +longer suffice to appease his remorse; his ambition told him it could be +lulled by nothing but luxury and splendour. By severe exactions, he +amassed large sums; and by gifts contrived to gain over the most +influential members of the divan; he thus got appointed Khan of +Schamachia, and, from the modest distinctions of the judicature, he +passed to the turbulent honours of military power--a change by no means +rare in Persia. + +Abbas was then collecting all his forces to march against the province +of Kandahar, and to reduce the Afghans, who have since ruled over his +descendants. In the battles fought on this occasion, Bebut the Ambitious +gained the signal favour of one equally ambitious; for Abbas was an +indefatigable conqueror, whom fortune, with all her favours, could never +satisfy. + +The Khan of Schamachia was so thoroughly devoted to his master, so +blindly subservient to his will, that he presently became his confidant. +He was the very man for the favour of a despot; he had no opinion of his +own, and could always find good reasons for those to which he assented. +This, in the eyes of Abbas, constituted an excellent counsellor. + +The monarch triumphed. Conqueror of the Kurdes, the Georgians, the +Turks, and the Afghans, he re-entered Ispahan in triumph. He had already +made it the capital of his dominions, and now proposed to himself to +enjoy there quietly, in the midst of his glory, the fruits of his vast +conquests; but the heart of the ambitious can never know repose. The +grandeur of the sovereign crushed the people; Abbas felt this; he knew +that, though powerful, he was detested; he trembled even in the inmost +recesses of his palace. In pursuance of the Oriental policy which has of +late years been introduced into Europe, he resolved to give a diversion +to the general hatred, which, in concentrating itself towards a single +point, endangered the safety of his throne. With this design, he +established, in the principal towns, numerous colonies from the nations +he had conquered, and gave them privileges which excited the jealousy of +the original inhabitants. The nation immediately divided into two +powerful factions, the one calling itself the Polenks, the other the +Felenks party. Abbas took care to keep up their strength; by alternately +exciting and moderating their violence, he distracted their attention +from the affairs of government. The disputes between them sometimes +looked very serious; but they were kept under until the festival of the +birthday of the Schah; on that occasion, the contenders were at last +permitted to show their joy by a general fight. Armed with sticks and +stones, they strewed the streets with bodies of the dying and the dead. +Then the royal troops suddenly appeared, and proclaimed the day's +amusements at an end, with slashes of the sabres drove back the Polenks +and the Felenks to their homes. + +But no sooner had this great politician ceased to fear his people, than +he began first to dread his court, and next, his own family. Of his +three sons, two had, by his command, been deprived of sight. By the laws +of Persia, they were consequently declared incapable of reigning, and +imprisoned in the castle of Alamuth.[6] He had only one now remaining. +This was the noble and generous Safi Mirza--the delight of his father, +and the hope of the people. His brilliant qualities, however, were +destined only to be his destruction. + +Abbas was one day musing, with some uneasiness, on the valour and +popular virtues of his son, when the young prince suddenly appeared. He +threw himself at his father's feet. He presented him a note which he had +just received, and in which, without discovering their names, the nobles +of the kingdom declared their weariness of his tyranny. They proposed to +the youth to ascend the throne, and undertook to clear his way to it. +Safi Mirza, indignant at a project which tended to turn him into a +parricide, declared all to the Sebah, and placed himself entirely at his +disposal. Abbas embraced him, covered him with caresses, and felt his +affection for him increase; but, from that moment, his fears redoubled. +His anxiety even prevented him from sleeping. In order to get at the +conspirators, he caused numbers of really innocent persons to die in +tortures; and, feeling that every execution rendered him still more +odious, he feared that his son would be again solicited, and would not +again have virtue to resist. + +This state of terror and suspicion becoming insupportable to him, he +resolved to rid himself of it at any cost. A slave was ordered to murder +the prince. He refused to obey, and presented his own head. "Have I, +then, none but ingrates and traitors about me, to eat my bread and +salt?" cried Abbas,--"I swear by my sabre and by the Koran, that, to him +who will remove Safi Mirza, my generosity and gratitude shall he +boundless." Bebut the Ambitious advanced, and said,--"It is written, +that what the king wills cannot be wrong. To me thy will is sacred--it +shall be obeyed." He went immediately to seek the prince. He met him +coming out of the bath, accompanied by a single akta or valet. He drew +his sabre, and presenting the royal mandate,--"Safi Mirza," said he, +"submit! Thy father wills thy death!"--"My father wills my death!" +exclaimed the unfortunate prince, with a tone "more in sorrow than in +anger." "What have I done, that he should hate me?" And Bebut laid him +dead at his feet. + +As a reward for his crime, Abbas sent him the royal vest, called the +calaata, and immediately created him his Etimadoulet, or Prime Minister. + +Paternal love, however, presently resumed its power. Remorse now +produced the same effect upon the king, as terror had done before. His +nights seemed endless. The bleeding shade of his son incessantly +appeared before him, banishing the peace and slumber to which it had +been sacrificed. Shrouded in the garb of mourning, the monarch of Persia +dismissed all pleasure from his court; and, during the rest of his life, +could not be known by his attire from the meanest of his subjects. + +One day he sent for Bebut, who found him standing on the steps of his +throne, entirely clothed in scarlet, the red turban of twelve folds +around his head,--in short, in the garb assumed by the kings of Persia +when preparing to pronounce the decree of death. Bebut shuddered. "It is +written," said the Sehah, "that what the king wills cannot be wrong. +Give me to-day the same proof of thy obedience which thou didst once +before. Bebut, thou hast a son--bring me his head!" Bebut attempted to +speak. "Bebut, Etimadoulet, Khan of Schamachia--is, then, thy ambition +satiated, that thou hesitatest to satisfy my commands? Obey! Thy life +depends on it!" + +Bebut returned with the head of his only child. "Well," said the father +of Mirza, with a horrid smile, "How dost feel?"--"Let these tears tell +you how," answered the unhappy Khan: "I have killed with my own hand the +being I loved best on earth. You can ask nothing beyond. This day, for +the first time, I have cursed ambition, which could subject me to a +necessity like this."--"Go," said the monarch; "You can now judge what +you have made me suffer, in murdering my son. Ambition has rendered us +the two most wretched beings in the empire. But, be it your comfort, +that your ambition can soar no higher; for this last deed has brought +you on a level with your sovereign."[7] + +Abbas received from his subjects and posterity the surname of THE GREAT. +Bebut the Ambitious was presently known only by the title of Bebut THE +INFAMOUS. It is said, he was a short time after stabbed by the son of +the unfortunate jeweller, whom he had so unjustly condemned to death +when divan-beghi. Thus were the words of the poet Ferdusi verified. His +first fault was the cause of all the others, and their common +punishment.--_Oriental Herald_. + + [4] _Zekath_ is the Persian name for the tithe of alms which the + Koran enjoins to be distributed among the poor. + + [5] _Schah-nameh_ signifies the royal book. It was composed by + order of Mahmoud the Gaznevide, and contains 60,000 distichs, + the history of the ancient sovereigns of Persia. + + [6] That is to say, the _Castle of the Dead_. It was situated in + the Mazanderan, (the ancient Hircania), and had been the abode + of the Old Man of the Mountain, the Prince of Assassins. + + [7] A king coolly ordering one of his subjects to cut off the + head of his own child, and being obeyed, is a circumstance so + monstrous, that it would appear beyond all possibility, if it + were not supported by numerous examples. But, incredible as it + may seem, it only paints the common manners of a court, where + tyranny, and the vices which it engenders, altogether extinguish + the influence of nature. + + * * * * * + + + +NOTES OF A READER. + + + * * * * * + + +MURDER + + +We are not accustomed to study the clap-traps of the day, but the +following observations, on our first reading of them, came so forcibly +on our imagination, that we then resolved to insert them in our columns +whenever an opportunity should offer; and as the public are now alive on +the subject, none can be better than the present. We should add, they +are taken from the third edition of a valuable work on Home, written by +a lady:-- + +"I think," says our authoress, "we are quite mistaken in our estimate of +the Italian character, in one respect. Murder is generally committed in +the sudden impulse of ungovernable passion, not with the slow +premeditation of deliberate revenge. That it is too common a termination +of Italian quarrels, it would be vain to deny; and it is equally true, +that however Englishmen may fall out, or however angry they may be, +drunk or sober, they never think of stabbing, but are always content +with beating each other. But in England murders are generally committed +in cold blood, and for the sake of plunder. In Italy they are more +frequently perpetrated in the moment of exasperation, and for the +gratification of the passions. An Italian will pilfer or steal, cheat or +defraud you, in any way he can. He would rob you if he had courage; but +he seldom murders for the sake of gain. In proof of this, almost all the +murders in Italy are committed amongst the lower orders. One man murders +another who is as much a beggar as himself. Whereas, our countrymen walk +about the unlighted streets of Rome or Naples, at all hours, in perfect +safety. I never heard of one having been attacked, although the riches +of _Milor' Inglese_ are proverbial. Amongst the immense number of +English who have lately travelled through Italy, though all have been +cheated, a few only have been robbed; and of these, not one has either +been murdered or hurt. I am far, however, from thinking that murders are +more frequent in England than in Italy. In England they are held in far +more abhorrence; they are punished, not only with the terrors of the +law, but the execrations of the people. Every murder resounds through +the land--it is canvassed in every club, and told by every village +fireside; and inquests, trials, and newspapers proclaim the lengthened +tale to the world. But in Italy, it is unpublished, unnamed, and +unheeded. The murderer sometimes escapes wholly unpunished. Sometimes he +compounds for it by paying money, if he has any--and sometimes he is +condemned to the gallies, but he is rarely executed." + + * * * * * + + +WINDSOR CASTLE. + +Windsor Castle loses a great deal of its architectural impression (if I +may use that word) by the smooth neatness with which its old towers are +now chiselled and mortared. It looks as if it was washed every morning +with _soap and water_, instead of exhibiting here and there a straggling +flower, or creeping weather-stains. I believe this circumstance strikes +every beholder; but most imposing, indeed, is its distant view, when the +broad banner floats or sleeps in the sunshine, amidst the intense blue +of the summer skies, and its picturesque and ancient architectural +vastness harmonizes with the decaying and gnarled oaks, coeval with so +many departed monarchs. The stately, long-extended avenue, and the wild +sweep of devious forests, connected with the eventful circumstances of +English history, and past regular grandeur, bring back the memory of +Edwards and Henries, or the gallant and accomplished Surrey. + +_On Windsor Castle, written 1825, not by a LAUREATE, but a poet of +loyal, old Church-of-England feelings._[8] + + Not that thy name, illustrious dome, recalls + The pomp of chivalry in banner'd halls; + The blaze of beauty, and the gorgeous sights + Of heralds, trophies, steeds, and crested knights; + Not that young Surrey here beguiled the hour, + "With eyes upturn'd unto the maiden's tower;"[9] + + Oh! not for these, and pageants pass'd away, + gaze upon your antique towers and pray-- + But that my SOVEREIGN here, from crowds withdrawn, + May meet calm peace upon the twilight lawn; + That here, among these gray, primaeval trees, + He may inhale health's animating breeze; + And when from this proud terrace he surveys + Slow Thames devolving his majestic maze, + (Now lost on the horizon's verge, now seen + Winding through lawns, and woods, and pastures green,) + May he reflect upon the waves that roll, + Bearing a nation's wealth from pole to pole, + And feel, (ambition's proudest boast above,) + A KING'S BEST GLORY IS HIS COUNTRY'S LOVE! + +The range of cresting towers has a double interest, whilst we think of +gorgeous dames and barons bold, of Lely and Vandyke's beauties, and gay, +and gallant, and accomplished cavaliers like Surrey. And who ever sat in +the stalls at St. George's chapel, without feeling the impression, on +looking at the illustrious names, that here the royal and ennobled +knights, through so many generations, sat each installed, whilst arms, +and crests, and banners, glittered over the same seat?--_Bowles's +History of Bremhill_. + + [8] The author had been chaplain to the Prince Regent. + + [9] Surrey's Poems. + + * * * * * + + +THE THREE TEACHERS. + + +To my question, how he could, at his age, have mastered so many +attainments, his reply was, that with his three teachers, "every thing +might be learned, common sense alone excepted, the peculiar and rarest +gift of Providence. These three teachers were, _Necessity_, _Habit_, and +_Time_. At his starting in life, _Necessity_ had told him, that if he +hoped to _live_ he must _labour_; _Habit_ had turned the labour into an +_indulgence_; and _Time_ gave every man an hour for every thing, unless +he chose to yawn it away."--_Salathiel._ + + * * * * * + + +IRISH POOR. + + +The poor of England have suffered much and deeply from the change made +in the administration of the poor laws in 1795; but of late years they +have suffered still more from the influx of Irish paupers. Great Britain +has been overrun by half-famished hordes, that have, by their +competition, lessened the wages of labour, and by their example, +degraded the habits, and lowered the opinions of the people with respect +to subsistence. The facilities of conveyance afforded by +steam-navigation are such, that the merest beggar, provided he can +command a sixpence, may get himself carried from Ireland to England. And +when such is the fact--when what may almost without a metaphor be termed +floating bridges, have been established between Belfast and Glasgow, and +Dublin and Liverpool--does any one suppose, that if no artificial +obstacles be thrown in the way of emigration, or if no efforts be made +to provide an outlet in some other quarter for the pauper population of +Ireland, we shall escape being overrun by it? It is not conceivable +that, with the existing means of intercourse, wages should continue to +be, at an average, 20_d_. per day in England, and only 4_d_. or 5_d_. in +Ireland. So long as the Irish paupers find that they can improve their +condition by coming to England, thither they will come. At this moment, +five or six millions of beggars are all of them turning their eyes, and +many of them directing their steps to this land of promise! The locusts +that "will eat up every blade of grass, and every green thing," are +already on the wing.--_Edin. Rev._ + + * * * * * + +According to the parliamentary returns of 1815, the number of paupers +receiving parochial relief in England amounts to 895,336, in a +population of 11,360,505, or about one-twelfth of the whole community. + + * * * * * + +There are many on the continent who might far better have been treading +their turnip-fields, or superintending their warehouses at home, than +traversing the Alps, criticising the Pantheon, or loitering through the +galleries of the Vatican. + + * * * * * + +Twenty years ago there were at Saffet and at Jerusalem but a small +number of Polish Jews--some few hundreds at the most; there are now, at +the very least, 10,000. + + * * * * * + +Bishop Watson compares a geologist to a gnat mounted on an elephant, and +laying down theories as to the whole internal structure of the vast +animal, from the phenomena of the hide. + + * * * * * + +It is the harmony of strong contrasts in which greatness of character +truly dwells. As it rises, its variety and rich profusion, only remind +us of those southern mountains, whose majestic ascent combines the +fruits of every latitude, and the temperature of every clime; the +vineyard is scattered around its base to gladden, and the corn-field +waves above to support, the family of man: mount a little higher, and +the traveller is surrounded by the deep, umbrageous forest, whilst the +next elevation will place his foot on its magnificent diadem of eternal +snows.--_Edin. Rev._ + + * * * * * + + +PSALMODY. + + +Is it not a melancholy reflection, at the close of a long life, that, +after reciting the Psalms at proper seasons, through the greatest part +of it, no more should be known of their true meaning and application, +than when the Psalter was first taken in hand in school?--_Bishop +Horne._ + + * * * * * + +The most northern library in the world is that of Reikiarik, the capital +of Iceland, containing about 3,600 volumes. That of the Faro Islands has +been recently considerably augmented. Another is establishing at +Eskefiorden, in the north of Iceland.--_Foreign Q. Rev._ + + * * * * * + + +FRENCH-ENGLISH. + + +All recent works of fiction exhibit the deplorable corruption of the +vernacular English. You cannot open a novel or book of travels printed +within the present year without stumbling on French or Italian words, +and so frequent is their occurrence, that they are often printed in the +same type as the rest of the page, not in italic, as of old. In short, +some of the authors of the present day seem to have "worn their language +to rags, and patched it up with scraps and ends of foreign." This, in +great measure proceeds from "some far-journeyed gentlemen, who, at their +return home, powder their talk with over-sea language. He that cometh +lately out of France, will talk French-English, and never blush at the +matter." + + * * * * * + + +DEBAUCHERIES OF PARIS. + + +We see daily instances giving us cause to lament protracted residence +abroad, and also the haunts of incessant transit across the channel, +which makes our young men more familiar with the passages, arcades, and +cafes of the Palais Royal, than with the streets of our own metropolis. +We have seen many who could name each single quay along the borders of +the Seine; but who were totally ignorant of those great works of art, +the bridges, docks, and warehouses of their native Thames, otherwise +than as they were hurried past them in the Calais steam-boat. + +_Quarterly Review_. + + * * * * * + +We have been somewhat amused with the oddity of a few similes in the +article in Phillips's _State Trials_, in the last No. of the _Edinburgh +Review_. Thus an ordinary reader would lose his way in _Howell's State +Trials_, at the second page, "from the number of volumes, smallness of +print, &c." "A Londoner might as well take a morning walk through an +Illinois prairie, or dash into a back-settlement forest, without a +woodman's aid." Mr. Phillips has "enclosed but a corner of the waste, +swept little more than a single stall in the Augean stable;" "holding a +candle to the back-ground of history," &c. + + * * * * * + + +LORD COLLINGWOOD + + +Went to sea when eleven years old. He used, himself, to tell as an +instance of his simplicity at this time, "that as he was sitting crying +for his separation from home, the first lieutenant observed him; and +pitying the tender years of the poor child, spoke to him in terms of +such encouragement and kindness, which, as Lord C. said, so won upon his +heart, that taking this officer to his box, he offered him in gratitude +a large piece of plum cake, which his mother had given him." + + * * * * * + + +CHANGES OF SOCIETY. + + +The circumstances which have most influence on the happiness of mankind, +the changes of manners and morals, the transition of communities from +poverty to wealth, from knowledge to ignorance, from ferocity to +humanity--these are, for the most part, noiseless revolutions. Their +progress is rarely indicated by what historians are pleased to call +important events. They are not achieved by armies, or enacted by +senates. They are sanctioned by no treaties, and recorded in no +archives. They are carried on in every school, in every church, behind +10,000 counters, at 10,000 fire-sides. The upper current of society +presents no certain criterion by which we can judge of the direction in +which the under current flows.--_Edinburgh Review_. + + * * * * * + + +BATTLE OF THE HEADS. + + +_Phrenologists--Anti-Phrenologists_. + +_Phrenologists_. The bantling which but a few years since we ushered +into the world, is now become a giant; and as well might you attempt to +smother him as to entangle a lion in the gossamer, or drown him in the +morning dew. + +_Anti-Phrenologists_. Your giant is a butterfly; to-day he roams on +gilded wings, to-morrow he will show his hideousness and be forgotten. + + * * * * * + +Apf, a Norwegian prince, is stated to have had sixty guards, each of +whom, previous to being enrolled, was obliged to lift a stone which lay +in the royal courtyard, and required the united strength of ten men to +raise. They were forbidden to seek shelter during the most tremendous +storms, nor were they allowed to dress their wounds before the +conclusion of a combat. What would some of our "Guards" say to such an +ordeal? + + * * * * * + + +PORTRAIT PAINTING. + + +No picture is exactly like the original; nor is a picture good in +proportion as it is like the original. When Sir Thomas Lawrence paints a +handsome peeress, he does not contemplate her through a powerful +microscope, and transfer to the canvass the pores of the skin, the +bloodvessels of the eye, and all the other beauties which Gulliver +discovered in the Brobdignagian maids of honour. If he were to do this, +the effect would not merely be unpleasant, but unless the scale of the +picture were proportionably enlarged, would be absolutely false. And, +after all, a microscope of greater power than that which he had +employed, would convict him of innumerable omissions. + + * * * * * + +It is calculated that Rome has derived from Spain, for matrimonial +briefs, and other machinery of the Papal court, since the year 1500--no +less than 76,800,000_l_. or about three millions and a half per Pope! +This is preachee and payee too! + + * * * * * + + + +SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS. + + + * * * * * + + +THE BACHELOR'S VADE-MECUM. + + +To obviate the difficulties and remove the perplexing doubts of cautious +men, myself and a party of friends, who have a large acquaintance in +London and its vicinity, propose publishing a work in monthly parts, +which we mean to entitle "The Bachelor's Vade-mecum, or a sure guide to +a good match." It will contain a list of all genuine and undoubted +heiresses in the metropolis, and within ten miles around it, and of +those ladies whose fortune depends on contingencies: as our +correspondence and information increase, we shall hope to extend the +circle of our inquiries, and we solicit those communications and +assistances which the extent and utility of our plan require and +deserve. Notices will be given of all who drop off by death and +marriage, and of those whose value may be unexpectedly increased by a +legacy, or a sister or brother's decease. Particular attention will be +paid to rich widows.--The first part of this truly useful work is nearly +ready for the press; and we flatter ourselves that its arrangement and +execution will excite universal applause. The particulars concerning +each lady will be distributed under four heads; the first will be +devoted to her fortune and expectations; the second to a description of +her person; the third to non-essentials; and under the fourth will be +found hints as to the readiest means of approach, cautions against +offending peculiar tastes or prejudices, and much interesting and +valuable information.--A more clear idea, however, of our scheme will be +conveyed by subjoining a few specimens taken at random from our first +number, which will contain about seventy-five articles. + +No. 14. + +_Fortune_.--10,000_l_. certain, left by a grandfather; two brothers have +the same, one of whom is likely to die before he is of age, which would +produce 5,000_l_. more. The father in business, supposed to live up to +his income. A rich, single aunt, but not on terms, on account of No. +14's love of waltzing. A prudent husband might easily effect a +reconciliation. + +_Person_.--Fair, with red hair, and freckled, nose depressed, brow +contracted, figure good, two false teeth. + +_Non-essentials_.--Bad-tempered, economical almost to parsimony. Sings a +great deal, but has no voice. Dances well; a Roman Catholic. + +_Miscellaneous Information_.--Fond of winning at cards. A particular +dislike to large whiskers; disapproves of hunting; makes her own gowns, +and likes to have them admired. + +No. 26. + +_Fortune_.--16,000_l_. from her father, who is dead, and 10,000_l_. more +certain on the death of her mother, who is at present ill. It is hoped +that her complaint is dropsy, but more information on this point shall +be given in our next Number. + +_Person_.--Fair, with fine blue eyes, good teeth, beautiful light hair. +Tall and well made. Hands and feet bad. + +_Non-essentials_.--Weak in understanding, and rather ungovernable in +temper. Has been taught all fashionable accomplishments; plays well on +the harp; sings Italian. Bites her nails, cannot pronounce her h's, and +misplaces her v's and w's. Her father was a butcher. + +_Miscellaneous Information_.--Keeps a recipe-book, and is fond of +prescribing for colds and tooth-aches. Has a great dislike to lawyers. +Eats onions. Fond of bull-finches and canary-birds. Collects seals. +Attends lectures on chemistry. Sits with her mouth open. + +No. 43. + +_Fortune_.--60,000_l_. in her own disposal. + +_Person_.--Aquiline nose, large dark eyes, tall and thin. Fine teeth and +hair, supposed false; but the lady's-maid has high wages, and has not +yet been brought to confess. + +_Non-essentials_.--Plays well on the piano. Good-tempered. Aged +sixty-three. Evangelical, and a blue-stocking. + +_Miscellaneous Information_.--Dislikes military and naval men. Fond of +hares and trout. Has a great objection to waltzing. Aunt to No. 14. A +prudent man might easily widen the breach between them. Attends +Bible-meetings and charity-schools. Lame of one leg. + +No. 61. + +_Fortune_.--An only child; father a widower, with landed property to the +amount of 1,500_l_. per annum, and 40,000_l_. in the Three per Cents. It +is possible he may marry again, but it is hoped that this may not occur. +The daughter lives with a maternal aunt. + +_Person_.--A decidedly handsome brunette. Tall, and well made. + +_Non-essentials_.--Charitable almost beyond her means; from which, and +her wishing her father to marry, she is supposed to be extremely weak. +Temper excellent; said to be well educated, but of too retiring a +disposition to allow of our discovering the fact without more trouble +than the matter is worth. + +_Miscellaneous Information_.--Fond of the country. Goes twice to church +on Sundays; but this affords no opportunity to a lover, as she never +looks about her. Has an uncle a bishop, which may recommend her to a +clergyman. + +Every person who has directed his attention to the subject, must +perceive at a glance the immense utility of a work of this nature, +conducted, as it will be, by men who pledge their characters on the +correctness of the information they convey. When a bachelor decides on +marriage, by running over a few pages of our work, he will, in half an +hour, be able to select a desirable match; by applying at our office, +and giving testimonials of his respectability, he will receive the +lady's name and address; and he may then pursue his object with a calm +tranquillity of mind, a settled determination of purpose, which are in +themselves the heralds and pledges of success. Or, should he meet in +society a lady who pleases his taste, before resigning himself to his +admiration, he will make inquiries at our office as to the number under +which we have placed her in our list; and should she be of too little +value to deserve a place in it, he will vigorously root her from his +imagination, and suffer himself no longer to hover round her perilous +charms, "come al lume farfalla."--_New Monthly Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + + +LONDON LYRICS.--TABLE TALK. + + + To weave a culinary clue, + Whom to eschew, and what to chew, + Where shun, and where take rations, + I sing. Attend, ye diners-out, + And, if my numbers please you, shout + "Hear, hear!" in acclamations. + + There are who treat you, once a year, + To the same stupid set; Good cheer + Such hardship cannot soften. + To listen to the self-same dunce, + At the same leaden table, once + Per annum's once too often. + + Rather than that, mix on my plate + With men I like the meat I hate-- + Colman with pig and treacle; + Luttrell with ven'son-pasty join, + Lord Normanby with orange-wine, + And rabbit-pie with Jekyll. + + Add to George Lambe a sable snipe, + Conjoin with Captain Morris tripe, + By parsley roots made denser; + Mix Macintosh with mack'rel, with + Calves-head and bacon Sydney Smith, + And mutton-broth with Spencer. + + Shun sitting next the wight, whose drone + Bores, _sotto voce_, you alone + With flat colloquial pressure: + Debarr'd from general talk, you droop + Beneath his buzz, from orient soup, + To occidental Cheshire. + + He who can only talk with one, + Should stay at home, and talk with none-- + At all events, to strangers, + Like village epitaphs of yore, + He ought to cry, "Long time I bore," + To warn them of their dangers. + + There are whose kind inquiries scan + Your total kindred, man by man, + Son, brother, cousin joining. + They ask about your wife, who's dead, + And eulogize your uncle Ned, + Who died last week for coining. + + When join'd to such a son of prate, + His queries I anticipate, + And thus my lee-way fetch up-- + "Sir, all my relatives, I vow, + Are perfectly in health--and now + I'd thank you for the ketchup!" + + Others there are who but retail + Their breakfast journal, now grown stale, + In print ere day was dawning; + When folks like these sit next to me, + They send me dinnerless to tea; + One cannot chew while yawning. + + Seat not good talkers one next one, + As Jacquier beards the Clarendon; + Thus shrouded you undo 'em; + Rather confront them, face to face, + Like Holles-street and Harewood-place, + And let the town run through 'em. + + Poets are dangerous to sit nigh-- + You waft their praises to the sky, + And when you think you're stirring + Their gratitude, they bite you. (That's + The reason I object to cats-- + They scratch amid their purring.) + + For those who ask you if you "malt," + Who "beg your pardon" for the salt, + And ape our upper grandees, + By wondering folks can touch Port-wine; + That, reader's your affair, not mine-- + I never mess with dandies. + + Relations mix not kindly; shun + Inviting brothers; sire and son + Is not a wise selection: + Too intimate, they either jar + In converse, or the evening mar + By mutual circumspection. + + Lawyers are apt to think the view + That interests them must interest you; + Hence they appear at table + Or supereloquent, or dumb, + Fluent as nightingales, or mum + As horses in a stable. + + When men amuse their fellow guests + With Crank and Jones, or Justice Best's + Harangue in Dobbs and Ryal-- + The host, beneath whose roof they sit, + Must be a puny judge of wit, + Who grants them a new trial. + + Shun technicals in each extreme, + Exclusive talk, whate'er the theme, + The proper boundary passes: + Nobles as much offend, whose clack's + For ever running on Almack's, + As brokers on molasses. + + I knew a man, from glass to delf, + Who talk'd of nothing but himself, + 'Till check'd by a vertigo; + The party who beheld him "fluor'd," + Bent o'er the liberated board, + And cried, "Hic jacet ego." + + Some aim to tell a thing that hit + Where last they dined; what there was wit + Here meets rebuffs and crosses. + Jokes are like trees; their place of birth + Best suits them; stuck in foreign earth, + They perish in the process. + + Ah! Merriment! when men entrap + Thy bells, and women steal thy cap, + They think they have trepann'd thee. + Delusive thought! aloof and dumb, + Thou wilt not at a bidding come, + Though Royalty command thee. + + The rich, who sigh for thee--the great, + Who court thy smiles with gilded plate, + But clasp thy cloudy follies: + I've known thee turn, in Portman-square, + From Burgundy and Hock, to share + A pint of Port at Dolly's. + + Races at Ascot, tours in Wales, + White-bait at Greenwich ofttimes fail, + To wake thee from thy slumbers. + E'en now, so prone art thou to fly, + Ungrateful nymph! thou'rt fighting shy + Of these narcotic numbers. + + _Ibid_. + + * * * * * + + + +SELECT BIOGRAPHY + +LEDYARD THE TRAVELLER. + + +John Ledyard, by birth an American, was, in all respects, from the +habits of his life, a citizen of the world. He was born at a small +village called Groton, in Connecticut, on the banks of the Thames; his +father was a captain in the West Indian trade, but died young, leaving a +widow and four children, of whom John was the eldest; his mother is +described as "a lady of many excellences of mind and character, +beautiful in person, well informed, resolute, generous, amiable, kind, +and, above all, eminent for piety and the religious virtues." Her little +property, it seems, was lost through fraud or neglect, and the widowed +mother, with her four infant children, thrown destitute upon the world. +In a few years, however, she was again married to Dr. Moor, and John was +removed to the house of his grandfather, at Hartford, where, at a very +early age, it is said, he showed many peculiarities in his manners and +habits, indicating an eccentric, an unsettled, and romantic turn of +mind. Having gone through the grammar-school, he was placed with a +relative of the name of Seymour, to study the profession of the law; but +this dry kind of study was soon found to have no attractions for one of +his volatile turn of mind. Something, however, was to be done to rescue +from sheer idleness a youth of nineteen, with very narrow means, few +friends, and no definite prospects; and, by the kindness of Dr. +Wheelock, the pious founder of Dartmouth College, who had been the +intimate friend of his grandfather, he was enabled to take up his +residence at this new seat of learning, with the ostensible object of +qualifying himself to become a missionary among the Indians. + +Impatient of restraint, and indignant at remonstrance and admonition, he +soon abandoned the missionary scheme that appeared to require too severe +initiation, and resolved to make his escape from the college. The mode +adopted to carry this project into execution was strongly marked with +that spirit of enterprise by which, in after-life, he was so highly +distinguished. + +On the margin of the Connecticut river, which runs near the college, +stood many majestic forest trees, nourished by a rich soil. One of these +Ledyard contrived to cut down. He then set himself at work to fashion +its trunk into a canoe, and in this labour he was assisted by some of +his fellow-students. As the canoe was fifty feet long and three wide, +and was to be dug out and constructed by these unskilful workmen, the +task was not a trifling one, nor such as could be speedily executed. +Operations were carried on with spirit, however, till Ledyard wounded +himself with an axe, and was disabled for several days. When recovered, +he applied himself anew to his work; the canoe was finished, launched +into the stream, and, by the further aid of his companions, equipped and +prepared for a voyage. His wishes were now at their consummation, and +bidding adieu to these haunts of the Muses, where he had gained a +dubious fame, he set off alone, with a light heart, to explore a river, +with the navigation of which he had not the slightest acquaintance. The +distance to Hartford was not less than one hundred and forty miles, much +of the way was through a wilderness, and in several places there were +dangerous falls and rapids. + +With a bear-skin covering, and a good supply of provisions, he launched +into the current and floated leisurely down, seldom using the paddle, +till, while engaged in reading, the canoe approached Below's Falls, the +noise of which, rushing among the rocks, suddenly aroused him; the +danger was imminent; had the canoe got into the narrow passage, it must +instantly have been dashed in pieces, and himself inevitably have +perished. + +By great exertion, however, he escaped the catastrophe and reached the +shore; and by the kind assistance of some people in the neighbourhood, +had his canoe dragged by oxen around the falls, and again committed to +the water. "On a bright spring morning," says his biographer, "just as +the sun was rising, some of Mr. Seymour's family were standing near his +house, on the high bank of the small river that runs through the city of +Hartford and empties itself into the Connecticut, when they espied, at +some distance, an object of unusual appearance moving slowly up the +stream." On a nearer approach it was discovered to be a canoe, in the +stern of which something was observed to be heaped up, but apparently +without life or motion. At length it struck the shore, and out leapt +John Ledyard from under his bear-skin, to the great astonishment of his +relatives at this sudden apparition, who had no other idea than that of +his being diligently engaged in his studies at Dartmouth, and fitting +himself for the pious office of a missionary among the Indians. + +Now, it was deemed expedient, both by his friends and by himself, that +all further thoughts of his becoming a divine should be abandoned; and +in the course of a few weeks we find him a common sailor, on board a +vessel bound for Gibraltar. While at this place Ledyard was all at once +missing; he had enlisted into the army. The master, being the friend of +his late father, went and remonstrated with him for this strange freak, +and urged him to return. The commanding officer assented to his release, +and he returned to the ship. + +The voyage being finished, the only profit yielded by it to Ledyard was +a little experience in the hardships of a sailor's life, as his scanty +funds were soon exhausted and poverty stared him in the face. At the age +of twenty-two he found himself a solitary wanderer, dependent on the +bounty of his friends, without employment or prospects, having tried +various pursuits, and failed of success in all. But poverty and +privation were trifles of little weight with Ledyard; his pride was +aroused, and he determined to do something that should exonerate him +from all dependence on his American friends. + +He had often heard his grandfather descant on his English ancestors, and +his wealthy connexions in the old country; it struck him, therefore, +while thus hanging loosely on society, that it might be no unwise thing +to visit these relatives, and claim alliance with them. With this view +he proceeded to New York, and made his terms with the master of a vessel +bound for Plymouth. Here he was set down, without money, without +friends, or even a single acquaintance. How to get to London, where he +made himself sure of a hearty welcome and a home among those connexions, +whose wealth and virtues he had heard so often extolled by his +grandfather, was a matter not easily settled. As good fortune would have +it, he fell in with an Irishman as thoughtless as himself, and whose +plight so exactly resembled his own, that, such is the sympathetic power +of misfortune, they formed a mutual attachment almost as soon as they +came in contact. Both were pedestrians bound to London, and both were +equally destitute of money or friends; and one _honest_ mode only +remained for them to pursue, which was, to address themselves to "the +charitable and humane." This point being settled, it was agreed to take +their turn in begging along the road; and in this manner they reached +London, without having any reason to complain of neglect, or that there +was any lack of generous and disinterested feeling in the human species. +Ledyard's first object, after arriving in the metropolis, was to find +out his rich relations, in which he was so far successful as to discover +the residence of a wealthy merchant of the same name, to whose house he +hastened. The gentleman was from home; but the son listened to his +story, and plainly told him he could put no faith in his +representations, as he had never heard of any relations in America. He +pressed him, however, to remain till his father's return, but the +suspicion of his being an impostor roused his indignation to such a +pitch that he abruptly left the house and resolved never to go near it +again. It is said that this merchant, on further inquiry, was satisfied +of the truth of the connexion, and sent for Ledyard, who declined the +invitation in no very gracious manner; that, notwithstanding all this, +the merchant afterwards, on hearing of his distressed situation, sent +him money; and that the money was also rejected with disdain by the +American, who desired the bearer to carry it back, and tell his master +that he belonged not to the race of the Ledyards. + +The next capacity in which we find Ledyard is that of a corporal of +marines, on board the ship of Captain Cook, then preparing for his third +and last voyage round the world. Of this voyage Ledyard is said to have +kept a minute journal, which, as in all cases of voyages of discovery, +went among the rest to the Admiralty, and was never restored. Two years +afterwards, Ledyard, with the assistance of a brief outline of the +voyage published in London, and from his own recollection, brought out, +in a small duodecimo, his narrative of the principal transactions of the +voyage, in which, we hear (for we have never seen it) he blames the +officers, and Captain Cook in particular, for several instances of +precipitate and incautious conduct, not to say severity, towards the +various natives with whom they were brought in contact. It was to this +want of caution, and a due consideration for the habits and feelings of +the Sandwich Islanders, that he imputed the death of this celebrated +navigator. The late Admiral Burney, who served as a lieutenant on the +voyage, says that, "with an ardent disposition, Ledyard had a passion +for lofty sentiment and description." He adds that, after Cook's death, +Ledyard proffered his services to Captain Clarke, to undertake the +office of historiographer of the expedition, and presented a specimen +descriptive of the manners of the Society Islanders; "but," says this +author, "his ideas were thought too sentimental, and his language too +florid." + +_(To be concluded in our next.)_ + + * * * * * + + + +THE GATHERER. + + + "A snapper up of unconsidered trifles." + SHAKSPEARE. + + * * * * * + + +POLSTEAD. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +The village of Polstead, though obscurely situate, is not entirely +destitute of celebrity, chiefly derived from an abundance of the small, +sweet, black cherries,[10] so common in London, and known for miles +round by the exclusive denomination of Polstead cherries. There are here +large orchards of cherry-trees; and it is a common observation, that the +face of a Polstead man is an index of a good or bad cherry season; if +productive, he may be seen with his chin in the air, his hands in his +pockets, and a saucy answer on the tip of his tongue; if, on the +contrary, the crop of cherries has failed, he hangs his head, folds his +hands behind him, and if asked whence he comes, replies, in a subdued +tone, "_From poor Poustead_." + +Unhappily, as in the event that has given notoriety to this obscure +village, there are some exceptions, but the inhabitants are for the most +part peaceable, well conducted, and only remarkable for their orthodox +belief in ghosts and witches. An old gentleman, who died there some +years ago, lamented till his death a sight he had lost when a boy, only +for the want of five pounds--a man having undertaken for that sum to +make all the witches in the parish dance on the knoll together; and +though he grew up a penurious man, (and lived a bachelor till fifty), he +never ceased to lament that such an opportunity of seeing these +weird-sisters collected together, never occurred again. He used to say +he had seen a witch "_swam_ on Polstead Ponds," and "she went over the +water like a cork." He had, when a boy, stopped a wizard in his way to +Stoke, by laying a line of single straws across the path; and, concealed +in a hedge, he had watched an old woman (alias witch) feeding her imps +in the form of three blackbirds. + +The house in which Mrs. Corder lives is one of the best in the place, +where, strictly speaking, there are not above half-a-dozen, including +the manor-house and rectory, the remainder being mere cottages; and yet +the parish is a rich one. It is singular, that among the peasantry are +to be found the names of Montague, Bedford, Salisbury, Mortimer, and +Holland, while the cognomens of those who inhabit the houses may be +nearly comprised in as many syllables. + +In the adjoining village of Stoke is the seat of Sir William Rowley, and +detached from it a street, called Thirteen Kings'-street, where, +according to local tradition, thirteen kings once met. In the same +parish is Scotland-hall, and another detached street, called +Scotland-street, containing some five or six cottages; and half a mile +from thence is a hilly field, of a dark clayey soil, occasioned, says +tradition, by the flowing of blood down the hill, during a terrible +battle fought there between the Scots and English. + +ZETA. + + [10] Black orvones. + + * * * * * + +CONUNDRUM. + + +Why is the gravy of a leg of pork the best gravy in the world? Because +there's no Jews like it.--_John Bull_. + + * * * * * + + +POETRY AND PAINTING. + +What the monk said of Virgil's _AEneid_, "that it would make an +excellent poem if it were only put into rhyme;" is just as if a +Frenchman should say of a beauty, "Oh, what a fine woman that would be, +if she was but painted!" + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, +and Instruction, by Various + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11264 *** |