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diff --git a/1081-0.txt b/1081-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..91be840 --- /dev/null +++ b/1081-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,14624 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1081 *** +DEAD SOULS + +By Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol + +Translated by D. J. Hogarth + +Introduction By John Cournos + + + + +Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol, born at Sorochintsky, Russia, on 31st +March 1809. Obtained government post at St. Petersburg and later an +appointment at the university. Lived in Rome from 1836 to 1848. Died on +21st February 1852. + + + + +PREPARER’S NOTE + +The book this was typed from contains a complete Part I, and a partial +Part II, as it seems only part of Part II survived the adventures +described in the introduction. Where the text notes that pages are +missing from the “original”, this refers to the Russian original, not +the translation. + +All the foreign words were italicised in the original, a style not +preserved here. Accents and diphthongs have also been left out. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +Dead Souls, first published in 1842, is the great prose classic of +Russia. That amazing institution, “the Russian novel,” not only began +its career with this unfinished masterpiece by Nikolai Vasil’evich +Gogol, but practically all the Russian masterpieces that have come since +have grown out of it, like the limbs of a single tree. Dostoieffsky +goes so far as to bestow this tribute upon an earlier work by the same +author, a short story entitled The Cloak; this idea has been wittily +expressed by another compatriot, who says: “We have all issued out of +Gogol’s Cloak.” + +Dead Souls, which bears the word “Poem” upon the title page of the +original, has been generally compared to Don Quixote and to the Pickwick +Papers, while E. M. Vogue places its author somewhere between Cervantes +and Le Sage. However considerable the influences of Cervantes and +Dickens may have been--the first in the matter of structure, the other +in background, humour, and detail of characterisation--the predominating +and distinguishing quality of the work is undeniably something foreign +to both and quite peculiar to itself; something which, for want of +a better term, might be called the quality of the Russian soul. The +English reader familiar with the works of Dostoieffsky, Turgenev, and +Tolstoi, need hardly be told what this implies; it might be defined in +the words of the French critic just named as “a tendency to pity.” One +might indeed go further and say that it implies a certain tolerance of +one’s characters even though they be, in the conventional sense, knaves, +products, as the case might be, of conditions or circumstance, which +after all is the thing to be criticised and not the man. But pity and +tolerance are rare in satire, even in clash with it, producing in the +result a deep sense of tragic humour. It is this that makes of Dead +Souls a unique work, peculiarly Gogolian, peculiarly Russian, and +distinct from its author’s Spanish and English masters. + +Still more profound are the contradictions to be seen in the author’s +personal character; and unfortunately they prevented him from completing +his work. The trouble is that he made his art out of life, and when in +his final years he carried his struggle, as Tolstoi did later, back into +life, he repented of all he had written, and in the frenzy of a wakeful +night burned all his manuscripts, including the second part of Dead +Souls, only fragments of which were saved. There was yet a third part to +be written. Indeed, the second part had been written and burned twice. +Accounts differ as to why he had burned it finally. Religious remorse, +fury at adverse criticism, and despair at not reaching ideal perfection +are among the reasons given. Again it is said that he had destroyed the +manuscript with the others inadvertently. + +The poet Pushkin, who said of Gogol that “behind his laughter you feel +the unseen tears,” was his chief friend and inspirer. It was he who +suggested the plot of Dead Souls as well as the plot of the earlier work +The Revisor, which is almost the only comedy in Russian. The importance +of both is their introduction of the social element in Russian +literature, as Prince Kropotkin points out. Both hold up the mirror +to Russian officialdom and the effects it has produced on the national +character. The plot of Dead Souls is simple enough, and is said to have +been suggested by an actual episode. + +It was the day of serfdom in Russia, and a man’s standing was often +judged by the numbers of “souls” he possessed. There was a periodical +census of serfs, say once every ten or twenty years. This being the +case, an owner had to pay a tax on every “soul” registered at the +last census, though some of the serfs might have died in the meantime. +Nevertheless, the system had its material advantages, inasmuch as an +owner might borrow money from a bank on the “dead souls” no less than +on the living ones. The plan of Chichikov, Gogol’s hero-villain, was +therefore to make a journey through Russia and buy up the “dead souls,” + at reduced rates of course, saving their owners the government tax, +and acquiring for himself a list of fictitious serfs, which he meant to +mortgage to a bank for a considerable sum. With this money he would buy +an estate and some real life serfs, and make the beginning of a fortune. + +Obviously, this plot, which is really no plot at all but merely a ruse +to enable Chichikov to go across Russia in a troika, with Selifan the +coachman as a sort of Russian Sancho Panza, gives Gogol a magnificent +opportunity to reveal his genius as a painter of Russian panorama, +peopled with characteristic native types commonplace enough but drawn in +comic relief. “The comic,” explained the author yet at the beginning of +his career, “is hidden everywhere, only living in the midst of it we are +not conscious of it; but if the artist brings it into his art, on the +stage say, we shall roll about with laughter and only wonder we did not +notice it before.” But the comic in Dead Souls is merely external. Let +us see how Pushkin, who loved to laugh, regarded the work. As Gogol read +it aloud to him from the manuscript the poet grew more and more gloomy +and at last cried out: “God! What a sad country Russia is!” And later he +said of it: “Gogol invents nothing; it is the simple truth, the terrible +truth.” + +The work on one hand was received as nothing less than an exposure of +all Russia--what would foreigners think of it? The liberal elements, +however, the critical Belinsky among them, welcomed it as a revelation, +as an omen of a freer future. Gogol, who had meant to do a service to +Russia and not to heap ridicule upon her, took the criticisms of the +Slavophiles to heart; and he palliated his critics by promising to bring +about in the succeeding parts of his novel the redemption of Chichikov +and the other “knaves and blockheads.” But the “Westerner” Belinsky +and others of the liberal camp were mistrustful. It was about this time +(1847) that Gogol published his Correspondence with Friends, and aroused +a literary controversy that is alive to this day. Tolstoi is to be found +among his apologists. + +Opinions as to the actual significance of Gogol’s masterpiece differ. +Some consider the author a realist who has drawn with meticulous detail +a picture of Russia; others, Merejkovsky among them, see in him a great +symbolist; the very title Dead Souls is taken to describe the living of +Russia as well as its dead. Chichikov himself is now generally regarded +as a universal character. We find an American professor, William Lyon +Phelps [1], of Yale, holding the opinion that “no one can travel far in +America without meeting scores of Chichikovs; indeed, he is an accurate +portrait of the American promoter, of the successful commercial +traveller whose success depends entirely not on the real value and +usefulness of his stock-in-trade, but on his knowledge of human nature +and of the persuasive power of his tongue.” This is also the opinion +held by Prince Kropotkin [2], who says: “Chichikov may buy dead +souls, or railway shares, or he may collect funds for some charitable +institution, or look for a position in a bank, but he is an immortal +international type; we meet him everywhere; he is of all lands and of +all times; he but takes different forms to suit the requirements of +nationality and time.” + +Again, the work bears an interesting relation to Gogol himself. A +romantic, writing of realities, he was appalled at the commonplaces +of life, at finding no outlet for his love of colour derived from his +Cossack ancestry. He realised that he had drawn a host of “heroes,” “one +more commonplace than another, that there was not a single palliating +circumstance, that there was not a single place where the reader might +find pause to rest and to console himself, and that when he had finished +the book it was as though he had walked out of an oppressive cellar +into the open air.” He felt perhaps inward need to redeem Chichikov; +in Merejkovsky’s opinion he really wanted to save his own soul, but +had succeeded only in losing it. His last years were spent morbidly; +he suffered torments and ran from place to place like one hunted; but +really always running from himself. Rome was his favourite refuge, and +he returned to it again and again. In 1848, he made a pilgrimage to the +Holy Land, but he could find no peace for his soul. Something of this +mood had reflected itself even much earlier in the Memoirs of a Madman: +“Oh, little mother, save your poor son! Look how they are tormenting +him.... There’s no place for him on earth! He’s being driven!... Oh, +little mother, take pity on thy poor child.” + +All the contradictions of Gogol’s character are not to be disposed of +in a brief essay. Such a strange combination of the tragic and the comic +was truly seldom seen in one man. He, for one, realised that “it is +dangerous to jest with laughter.” “Everything that I laughed at became +sad.” “And terrible,” adds Merejkovsky. But earlier his humour was +lighter, less tinged with the tragic; in those days Pushkin never failed +to be amused by what Gogol had brought to read to him. Even Revizor +(1835), with its tragic undercurrent, was a trifle compared to Dead +Souls, so that one is not astonished to hear that not only did the Tsar, +Nicholas I, give permission to have it acted, in spite of its being a +criticism of official rottenness, but laughed uproariously, and led the +applause. Moreover, he gave Gogol a grant of money, and asked that its +source should not be revealed to the author lest “he might feel obliged +to write from the official point of view.” + +Gogol was born at Sorotchinetz, Little Russia, in March 1809. He left +college at nineteen and went to St. Petersburg, where he secured a +position as copying clerk in a government department. He did not keep +his position long, yet long enough to store away in his mind a number of +bureaucratic types which proved useful later. He quite suddenly started +for America with money given to him by his mother for another purpose, +but when he got as far as Lubeck he turned back. He then wanted to +become an actor, but his voice proved not strong enough. Later he wrote +a poem which was unkindly received. As the copies remained unsold, he +gathered them all up at the various shops and burned them in his room. + +His next effort, Evenings at the Farm of Dikanka (1831) was more +successful. It was a series of gay and colourful pictures of Ukraine, +the land he knew and loved, and if he is occasionally a little over +romantic here and there, he also achieves some beautifully lyrical +passages. Then came another even finer series called Mirgorod, which won +the admiration of Pushkin. Next he planned a “History of Little Russia” + and a “History of the Middle Ages,” this last work to be in eight or +nine volumes. The result of all this study was a beautiful and short +Homeric epic in prose, called Taras Bulba. His appointment to a +professorship in history was a ridiculous episode in his life. After a +brilliant first lecture, in which he had evidently said all he had to +say, he settled to a life of boredom for himself and his pupils. When he +resigned he said joyously: “I am once more a free Cossack.” Between +1834 and 1835 he produced a new series of stories, including his famous +Cloak, which may be regarded as the legitimate beginning of the Russian +novel. + +Gogol knew little about women, who played an equally minor role in +his life and in his books. This may be partly because his personal +appearance was not prepossessing. He is described by a contemporary as +“a little man with legs too short for his body. He walked crookedly; he +was clumsy, ill-dressed, and rather ridiculous-looking, with his long +lock of hair flapping on his forehead, and his large prominent nose.” + +From 1835 Gogol spent almost his entire time abroad; some strange +unrest--possibly his Cossack blood--possessed him like a demon, and +he never stopped anywhere very long. After his pilgrimage in 1848 to +Jerusalem, he returned to Moscow, his entire possessions in a little +bag; these consisted of pamphlets, critiques, and newspaper articles +mostly inimical to himself. He wandered about with these from house to +house. Everything he had of value he gave away to the poor. He ceased +work entirely. According to all accounts he spent his last days in +praying and fasting. Visions came to him. His death, which came in 1852, +was extremely fantastic. His last words, uttered in a loud frenzy, +were: “A ladder! Quick, a ladder!” This call for a ladder--“a spiritual +ladder,” in the words of Merejkovsky--had been made on an earlier +occasion by a certain Russian saint, who used almost the same language. +“I shall laugh my bitter laugh” [3] was the inscription placed on +Gogol’s grave. + + JOHN COURNOS + + +Evenings on the Farm near the Dikanka, 1829-31; Mirgorod, 1831-33; Taras +Bulba, 1834; Arabesques (includes tales, The Portrait and A Madman’s +Diary), 1831-35; The Cloak, 1835; The Revizor (The Inspector-General), +1836; Dead Souls, 1842; Correspondence with Friends, 1847. + +ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS: Cossack Tales (The Night of Christmas Eve, Tarass +Boolba), trans. by G. Tolstoy, 1860; St. John’s Eve and Other Stories, +trans. by Isabel F. Hapgood, New York, Crowell, 1886; Taras Bulba: Also +St. John’s Eve and Other Stories, London, Vizetelly, 1887; Taras Bulba, +trans. by B. C. Baskerville, London, Scott, 1907; The Inspector: a +Comedy, Calcutta, 1890; The Inspector-General, trans. by A. A. Sykes, +London, Scott, 1892; Revizor, trans. for the Yale Dramatic Association +by Max S. Mandell, New Haven, Conn., 1908; Home Life in Russia +(adaptation of Dead Souls), London, Hurst, 1854; Tchitchikoff’s +Journey’s; or Dead Souls, trans. by Isabel F. Hapgood, New York, +Crowell, 1886; Dead Souls, London, Vizetelly, 1887; Dead Souls, London, +Maxwell 1887; Meditations on the Divine Liturgy, trans. by L. Alexeieff, +London, A. R. Mowbray and Co., 1913. + +LIVES, etc.: (Russian) Kotlyarevsky (N. A.), 1903; Shenrok (V. I.), +Materials for a Biography, 1892; (French) Leger (L.), Nicholas Gogol, +1914. + + + + +AUTHOR’S PREFACE TO THE FIRST PORTION OF THIS WORK + +Second Edition published in 1846 + +From the Author to the Reader + +Reader, whosoever or wheresoever you be, and whatsoever be your +station--whether that of a member of the higher ranks of society or that +of a member of the plainer walks of life--I beg of you, if God shall +have given you any skill in letters, and my book shall fall into your +hands, to extend to me your assistance. + +For in the book which lies before you, and which, probably, you have +read in its first edition, there is portrayed a man who is a type taken +from our Russian Empire. This man travels about the Russian land and +meets with folk of every condition--from the nobly-born to the humble +toiler. Him I have taken as a type to show forth the vices and the +failings, rather than the merits and the virtues, of the commonplace +Russian individual; and the characters which revolve around him have +also been selected for the purpose of demonstrating our national +weaknesses and shortcomings. As for men and women of the better sort, I +propose to portray them in subsequent volumes. Probably much of what I +have described is improbable and does not happen as things customarily +happen in Russia; and the reason for that is that for me to learn all +that I have wished to do has been impossible, in that human life is not +sufficiently long to become acquainted with even a hundredth part +of what takes place within the borders of the Russian Empire. Also, +carelessness, inexperience, and lack of time have led to my perpetrating +numerous errors and inaccuracies of detail; with the result that in +every line of the book there is something which calls for correction. +For these reasons I beg of you, my reader, to act also as my corrector. +Do not despise the task, for, however superior be your education, and +however lofty your station, and however insignificant, in your eyes, +my book, and however trifling the apparent labour of correcting and +commenting upon that book, I implore you to do as I have said. And you +too, O reader of lowly education and simple status, I beseech you not to +look upon yourself as too ignorant to be able in some fashion, however +small, to help me. Every man who has lived in the world and mixed with +his fellow men will have remarked something which has remained hidden +from the eyes of others; and therefore I beg of you not to deprive me +of your comments, seeing that it cannot be that, should you read my book +with attention, you will have NOTHING to say at some point therein. + +For example, how excellent it would be if some reader who is +sufficiently rich in experience and the knowledge of life to be +acquainted with the sort of characters which I have described herein +would annotate in detail the book, without missing a single page, and +undertake to read it precisely as though, laying pen and paper before +him, he were first to peruse a few pages of the work, and then to recall +his own life, and the lives of folk with whom he has come in contact, +and everything which he has seen with his own eyes or has heard of from +others, and to proceed to annotate, in so far as may tally with his own +experience or otherwise, what is set forth in the book, and to jot down +the whole exactly as it stands pictured to his memory, and, lastly, to +send me the jottings as they may issue from his pen, and to continue +doing so until he has covered the entire work! Yes, he would indeed do +me a vital service! Of style or beauty of expression he would need +to take no account, for the value of a book lies in its truth and its +actuality rather than in its wording. Nor would he need to consider my +feelings if at any point he should feel minded to blame or to upbraid +me, or to demonstrate the harm rather than the good which has been +done through any lack of thought or verisimilitude of which I have +been guilty. In short, for anything and for everything in the way of +criticism I should be thankful. + +Also, it would be an excellent thing if some reader in the higher walks +of life, some person who stands remote, both by life and by education, +from the circle of folk which I have pictured in my book, but who knows +the life of the circle in which he himself revolves, would undertake to +read my work in similar fashion, and methodically to recall to his mind +any members of superior social classes whom he has met, and carefully to +observe whether there exists any resemblance between one such class and +another, and whether, at times, there may not be repeated in a higher +sphere what is done in a lower, and likewise to note any additional fact +in the same connection which may occur to him (that is to say, any fact +pertaining to the higher ranks of society which would seem to confirm or +to disprove his conclusions), and, lastly, to record that fact as it may +have occurred within his own experience, while giving full details of +persons (of individual manners, tendencies, and customs) and also of +inanimate surroundings (of dress, furniture, fittings of houses, and so +forth). For I need knowledge of the classes in question, which are the +flower of our people. In fact, this very reason--the reason that I do +not yet know Russian life in all its aspects, and in the degree to +which it is necessary for me to know it in order to become a successful +author--is what has, until now, prevented me from publishing any +subsequent volumes of this story. + +Again, it would be an excellent thing if some one who is endowed with +the faculty of imagining and vividly picturing to himself the various +situations wherein a character may be placed, and of mentally following +up a character’s career in one field and another--by this I mean some +one who possesses the power of entering into and developing the ideas +of the author whose work he may be reading--would scan each character +herein portrayed, and tell me how each character ought to have acted +at a given juncture, and what, to judge from the beginnings of each +character, ought to have become of that character later, and what new +circumstances might be devised in connection therewith, and what new +details might advantageously be added to those already described. +Honestly can I say that to consider these points against the time when a +new edition of my book may be published in a different and a better form +would give me the greatest possible pleasure. + +One thing in particular would I ask of any reader who may be willing to +give me the benefit of his advice. That is to say, I would beg of him +to suppose, while recording his remarks, that it is for the benefit of +a man in no way his equal in education, or similar to him in tastes and +ideas, or capable of apprehending criticisms without full explanation +appended, that he is doing so. Rather would I ask such a reader to +suppose that before him there stands a man of incomparably inferior +enlightenment and schooling--a rude country bumpkin whose life, +throughout, has been passed in retirement--a bumpkin to whom it is +necessary to explain each circumstance in detail, while never forgetting +to be as simple of speech as though he were a child, and at every step +there were a danger of employing terms beyond his understanding. Should +these precautions be kept constantly in view by any reader undertaking +to annotate my book, that reader’s remarks will exceed in weight +and interest even his own expectations, and will bring me very real +advantage. + +Thus, provided that my earnest request be heeded by my readers, and +that among them there be found a few kind spirits to do as I desire, the +following is the manner in which I would request them to transmit their +notes for my consideration. Inscribing the package with my name, let +them then enclose that package in a second one addressed either to the +Rector of the University of St. Petersburg or to Professor Shevirev of +the University of Moscow, according as the one or the other of those two +cities may be the nearer to the sender. + +Lastly, while thanking all journalists and litterateurs for their +previously published criticisms of my book--criticisms which, in spite +of a spice of that intemperance and prejudice which is common to all +humanity, have proved of the greatest use both to my head and to my +heart--I beg of such writers again to favour me with their reviews. For +in all sincerity I can assure them that whatsoever they may be pleased +to say for my improvement and my instruction will be received by me with +naught but gratitude. + + + + +DEAD SOULS + + + + +PART I + + + +CHAPTER I + +To the door of an inn in the provincial town of N. there drew up a smart +britchka--a light spring-carriage of the sort affected by bachelors, +retired lieutenant-colonels, staff-captains, land-owners possessed of +about a hundred souls, and, in short, all persons who rank as gentlemen +of the intermediate category. In the britchka was seated such a +gentleman--a man who, though not handsome, was not ill-favoured, not +over-fat, and not over-thin. Also, though not over-elderly, he was +not over-young. His arrival produced no stir in the town, and was +accompanied by no particular incident, beyond that a couple of peasants +who happened to be standing at the door of a dramshop exchanged a few +comments with reference to the equipage rather than to the individual +who was seated in it. “Look at that carriage,” one of them said to the +other. “Think you it will be going as far as Moscow?” “I think it will,” +replied his companion. “But not as far as Kazan, eh?” “No, not as far as +Kazan.” With that the conversation ended. Presently, as the britchka was +approaching the inn, it was met by a young man in a pair of very short, +very tight breeches of white dimity, a quasi-fashionable frockcoat, and +a dickey fastened with a pistol-shaped bronze tie-pin. The young man +turned his head as he passed the britchka and eyed it attentively; +after which he clapped his hand to his cap (which was in danger of being +removed by the wind) and resumed his way. On the vehicle reaching the +inn door, its occupant found standing there to welcome him the polevoi, +or waiter, of the establishment--an individual of such nimble and +brisk movement that even to distinguish the character of his face was +impossible. Running out with a napkin in one hand and his lanky form +clad in a tailcoat, reaching almost to the nape of his neck, he tossed +back his locks, and escorted the gentleman upstairs, along a wooden +gallery, and so to the bedchamber which God had prepared for the +gentleman’s reception. The said bedchamber was of quite ordinary +appearance, since the inn belonged to the species to be found in all +provincial towns--the species wherein, for two roubles a day, travellers +may obtain a room swarming with black-beetles, and communicating by a +doorway with the apartment adjoining. True, the doorway may be blocked +up with a wardrobe; yet behind it, in all probability, there will be +standing a silent, motionless neighbour whose ears are burning to learn +every possible detail concerning the latest arrival. The inn’s exterior +corresponded with its interior. Long, and consisting only of two +storeys, the building had its lower half destitute of stucco; with the +result that the dark-red bricks, originally more or less dingy, had +grown yet dingier under the influence of atmospheric changes. As for the +upper half of the building, it was, of course, painted the usual tint +of unfading yellow. Within, on the ground floor, there stood a number +of benches heaped with horse-collars, rope, and sheepskins; while the +window-seat accommodated a sbitentshik [4], cheek by jowl with a samovar +[5]--the latter so closely resembling the former in appearance that, but +for the fact of the samovar possessing a pitch-black lip, the samovar +and the sbitentshik might have been two of a pair. + +During the traveller’s inspection of his room his luggage was brought +into the apartment. First came a portmanteau of white leather whose +raggedness indicated that the receptacle had made several previous +journeys. The bearers of the same were the gentleman’s coachman, +Selifan (a little man in a large overcoat), and the gentleman’s +valet, Petrushka--the latter a fellow of about thirty, clad in a worn, +over-ample jacket which formerly had graced his master’s shoulders, and +possessed of a nose and a pair of lips whose coarseness communicated to +his face rather a sullen expression. Behind the portmanteau came a +small dispatch-box of redwood, lined with birch bark, a boot-case, +and (wrapped in blue paper) a roast fowl; all of which having been +deposited, the coachman departed to look after his horses, and the valet +to establish himself in the little dark anteroom or kennel where already +he had stored a cloak, a bagful of livery, and his own peculiar smell. +Pressing the narrow bedstead back against the wall, he covered it with +the tiny remnant of mattress--a remnant as thin and flat (perhaps also +as greasy) as a pancake--which he had managed to beg of the landlord of +the establishment. + +While the attendants had been thus setting things straight the gentleman +had repaired to the common parlour. The appearance of common parlours of +the kind is known to every one who travels. Always they have varnished +walls which, grown black in their upper portions with tobacco smoke, +are, in their lower, grown shiny with the friction of customers’ +backs--more especially with that of the backs of such local tradesmen +as, on market-days, make it their regular practice to resort to +the local hostelry for a glass of tea. Also, parlours of this kind +invariably contain smutty ceilings, an equally smutty chandelier, a +number of pendent shades which jump and rattle whenever the waiter +scurries across the shabby oilcloth with a trayful of glasses (the +glasses looking like a flock of birds roosting by the seashore), and a +selection of oil paintings. In short, there are certain objects which +one sees in every inn. In the present case the only outstanding feature +of the room was the fact that in one of the paintings a nymph was +portrayed as possessing breasts of a size such as the reader can never +in his life have beheld. A similar caricaturing of nature is to be noted +in the historical pictures (of unknown origin, period, and creation) +which reach us--sometimes through the instrumentality of Russian +magnates who profess to be connoisseurs of art--from Italy; owing to +the said magnates having made such purchases solely on the advice of the +couriers who have escorted them. + +To resume, however--our traveller removed his cap, and divested his neck +of a parti-coloured woollen scarf of the kind which a wife makes for +her husband with her own hands, while accompanying the gift with +interminable injunctions as to how best such a garment ought to be +folded. True, bachelors also wear similar gauds, but, in their case, +God alone knows who may have manufactured the articles! For my part, +I cannot endure them. Having unfolded the scarf, the gentleman ordered +dinner, and whilst the various dishes were being got ready--cabbage +soup, a pie several weeks old, a dish of marrow and peas, a dish of +sausages and cabbage, a roast fowl, some salted cucumber, and the sweet +tart which stands perpetually ready for use in such establishments; +whilst, I say, these things were either being warmed up or brought in +cold, the gentleman induced the waiter to retail certain fragments of +tittle-tattle concerning the late landlord of the hostelry, the amount +of income which the hostelry produced, and the character of its present +proprietor. To the last-mentioned inquiry the waiter returned the answer +invariably given in such cases--namely, “My master is a terribly hard +man, sir.” Curious that in enlightened Russia so many people cannot even +take a meal at an inn without chattering to the attendant and making +free with him! Nevertheless not ALL the questions which the gentleman +asked were aimless ones, for he inquired who was Governor of the town, +who President of the Local Council, and who Public Prosecutor. In short, +he omitted no single official of note, while asking also (though with an +air of detachment) the most exact particulars concerning the landowners +of the neighbourhood. Which of them, he inquired, possessed serfs, and +how many of them? How far from the town did those landowners reside? +What was the character of each landowner, and was he in the habit of +paying frequent visits to the town? The gentleman also made searching +inquiries concerning the hygienic condition of the countryside. Was +there, he asked, much sickness about--whether sporadic fever, fatal +forms of ague, smallpox, or what not? Yet, though his solicitude +concerning these matters showed more than ordinary curiosity, his +bearing retained its gravity unimpaired, and from time to time he +blew his nose with portentous fervour. Indeed, the manner in which he +accomplished this latter feat was marvellous in the extreme, for, though +that member emitted sounds equal to those of a trumpet in intensity, +he could yet, with his accompanying air of guileless dignity, evoke the +waiter’s undivided respect--so much so that, whenever the sounds of +the nose reached that menial’s ears, he would shake back his locks, +straighten himself into a posture of marked solicitude, and inquire +afresh, with head slightly inclined, whether the gentleman happened +to require anything further. After dinner the guest consumed a cup of +coffee, and then, seating himself upon the sofa, with, behind him, +one of those wool-covered cushions which, in Russian taverns, +resemble nothing so much as a cobblestone or a brick, fell to snoring; +whereafter, returning with a start to consciousness, he ordered himself +to be conducted to his room, flung himself at full length upon the bed, +and once more slept soundly for a couple of hours. Aroused, eventually, +by the waiter, he, at the latter’s request, inscribed a fragment of +paper with his name, his surname, and his rank (for communication, in +accordance with the law, to the police): and on that paper the waiter, +leaning forward from the corridor, read, syllable by syllable: “Paul +Ivanovitch Chichikov, Collegiate Councillor--Landowner--Travelling +on Private Affairs.” The waiter had just time to accomplish this +feat before Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov set forth to inspect the town. +Apparently the place succeeded in satisfying him, and, to tell the +truth, it was at least up to the usual standard of our provincial +capitals. Where the staring yellow of stone edifices did not greet his +eye he found himself confronted with the more modest grey of wooden +ones; which, consisting, for the most part, of one or two storeys (added +to the range of attics which provincial architects love so well), looked +almost lost amid the expanses of street and intervening medleys of +broken or half-finished partition-walls. At other points evidence of +more life and movement was to be seen, and here the houses stood crowded +together and displayed dilapidated, rain-blurred signboards whereon +boots or cakes or pairs of blue breeches inscribed “Arshavski, Tailor,” +and so forth, were depicted. Over a shop containing hats and caps +was written “Vassili Thedorov, Foreigner”; while, at another spot, a +signboard portrayed a billiard table and two players--the latter clad +in frockcoats of the kind usually affected by actors whose part it is +to enter the stage during the closing act of a piece, even though, with +arms sharply crooked and legs slightly bent, the said billiard players +were taking the most careful aim, but succeeding only in making abortive +strokes in the air. Each emporium of the sort had written over it: “This +is the best establishment of its kind in the town.” Also, al fresco in +the streets there stood tables heaped with nuts, soap, and gingerbread +(the latter but little distinguishable from the soap), and at an +eating-house there was displayed the sign of a plump fish transfixed +with a gaff. But the sign most frequently to be discerned was the +insignia of the State, the double-headed eagle (now replaced, in this +connection, with the laconic inscription “Dramshop”). As for the paving +of the town, it was uniformly bad. + +The gentleman peered also into the municipal gardens, which contained +only a few sorry trees that were poorly selected, requiring to be +propped with oil-painted, triangular green supports, and able to boast +of a height no greater than that of an ordinary walking-stick. Yet +recently the local paper had said (apropos of a gala) that, “Thanks to +the efforts of our Civil Governor, the town has become enriched with a +pleasaunce full of umbrageous, spaciously-branching trees. Even on the +most sultry day they afford agreeable shade, and indeed gratifying +was it to see the hearts of our citizens panting with an impulse of +gratitude as their eyes shed tears in recognition of all that their +Governor has done for them!” + +Next, after inquiring of a gendarme as to the best ways and means of +finding the local council, the local law-courts, and the local Governor, +should he (Chichikov) have need of them, the gentleman went on to +inspect the river which ran through the town. En route he tore off a +notice affixed to a post, in order that he might the more conveniently +read it after his return to the inn. Also, he bestowed upon a lady +of pleasant exterior who, escorted by a footman laden with a bundle, +happened to be passing along a wooden sidewalk a prolonged stare. +Lastly, he threw around him a comprehensive glance (as though to fix in +his mind the general topography of the place) and betook himself +home. There, gently aided by the waiter, he ascended the stairs to his +bedroom, drank a glass of tea, and, seating himself at the table, called +for a candle; which having been brought him, he produced from his pocket +the notice, held it close to the flame, and conned its tenour--slightly +contracting his right eye as he did so. Yet there was little in the +notice to call for remark. All that it said was that shortly one of +Kotzebue’s [6] plays would be given, and that one of the parts in the +play was to be taken by a certain Monsieur Poplevin, and another by +a certain Mademoiselle Ziablova, while the remaining parts were to +be filled by a number of less important personages. Nevertheless the +gentleman perused the notice with careful attention, and even jotted +down the prices to be asked for seats for the performance. Also, he +remarked that the bill had been printed in the press of the Provincial +Government. Next, he turned over the paper, in order to see if anything +further was to be read on the reverse side; but, finding nothing there, +he refolded the document, placed it in the box which served him as a +receptacle for odds and ends, and brought the day to a close with a +portion of cold veal, a bottle of pickles, and a sound sleep. + +The following day he devoted to paying calls upon the various municipal +officials--a first, and a very respectful, visit being paid to the +Governor. This personage turned out to resemble Chichikov himself in +that he was neither fat nor thin. Also, he wore the riband of the order +of Saint Anna about his neck, and was reported to have been recommended +also for the star. For the rest, he was large and good-natured, and had +a habit of amusing himself with occasional spells of knitting. Next, +Chichikov repaired to the Vice-Governor’s, and thence to the house of +the Public Prosecutor, to that of the President of the Local Council, to +that of the Chief of Police, to that of the Commissioner of Taxes, and +to that of the local Director of State Factories. True, the task of +remembering every big-wig in this world of ours is not a very easy one; +but at least our visitor displayed the greatest activity in his work of +paying calls, seeing that he went so far as to pay his respects also to +the Inspector of the Municipal Department of Medicine and to the City +Architect. Thereafter he sat thoughtfully in his britchka--plunged +in meditation on the subject of whom else it might be well to visit. +However, not a single magnate had been neglected, and in conversation +with his hosts he had contrived to flatter each separate one. For +instance to the Governor he had hinted that a stranger, on arriving +in his, the Governor’s province, would conceive that he had reached +Paradise, so velvety were the roads. “Governors who appoint capable +subordinates,” had said Chichikov, “are deserving of the most ample meed +of praise.” Again, to the Chief of Police our hero had passed a most +gratifying remark on the subject of the local gendarmery; while in +his conversation with the Vice-Governor and the President of the Local +Council (neither of whom had, as yet, risen above the rank of State +Councillor) he had twice been guilty of the gaucherie of addressing his +interlocutors with the title of “Your Excellency”--a blunder which had +not failed to delight them. In the result the Governor had invited +him to a reception the same evening, and certain other officials had +followed suit by inviting him, one of them to dinner, a second to a +tea-party, and so forth, and so forth. + +Of himself, however, the traveller had spoken little; or, if he had +spoken at any length, he had done so in a general sort of way and with +marked modesty. Indeed, at moments of the kind his discourse had assumed +something of a literary vein, in that invariably he had stated that, +being a worm of no account in the world, he was deserving of no +consideration at the hands of his fellows; that in his time he had +undergone many strange experiences; that subsequently he had suffered +much in the cause of Truth; that he had many enemies seeking his life; +and that, being desirous of rest, he was now engaged in searching for a +spot wherein to dwell--wherefore, having stumbled upon the town in which +he now found himself, he had considered it his bounden duty to evince +his respect for the chief authorities of the place. This, and no more, +was all that, for the moment, the town succeeded in learning about the +new arrival. Naturally he lost no time in presenting himself at the +Governor’s evening party. First, however, his preparations for that +function occupied a space of over two hours, and necessitated an +attention to his toilet of a kind not commonly seen. That is to say, +after a brief post-prandial nap he called for soap and water, and spent +a considerable period in the task of scrubbing his cheeks (which, for +the purpose, he supported from within with his tongue) and then of +drying his full, round face, from the ears downwards, with a towel which +he took from the waiter’s shoulder. Twice he snorted into the waiter’s +countenance as he did this, and then he posted himself in front of the +mirror, donned a false shirt-front, plucked out a couple of hairs which +were protruding from his nose, and appeared vested in a frockcoat +of bilberry-coloured check. Thereafter driving through broad streets +sparsely lighted with lanterns, he arrived at the Governor’s residence +to find it illuminated as for a ball. Barouches with gleaming lamps, +a couple of gendarmes posted before the doors, a babel of postillions’ +cries--nothing of a kind likely to be impressive was wanting; and, on +reaching the salon, the visitor actually found himself obliged to +close his eyes for a moment, so strong was the mingled sheen of lamps, +candles, and feminine apparel. Everything seemed suffused with light, +and everywhere, flitting and flashing, were to be seen black coats--even +as on a hot summer’s day flies revolve around a sugar loaf while the +old housekeeper is cutting it into cubes before the open window, and +the children of the house crowd around her to watch the movements of her +rugged hands as those members ply the smoking pestle; and airy squadrons +of flies, borne on the breeze, enter boldly, as though free of the +house, and, taking advantage of the fact that the glare of the sunshine +is troubling the old lady’s sight, disperse themselves over broken +and unbroken fragments alike, even though the lethargy induced by the +opulence of summer and the rich shower of dainties to be encountered at +every step has induced them to enter less for the purpose of eating than +for that of showing themselves in public, of parading up and down the +sugar loaf, of rubbing both their hindquarters and their fore against +one another, of cleaning their bodies under the wings, of extending +their forelegs over their heads and grooming themselves, and of flying +out of the window again to return with other predatory squadrons. +Indeed, so dazed was Chichikov that scarcely did he realise that the +Governor was taking him by the arm and presenting him to his (the +Governor’s) lady. Yet the newly-arrived guest kept his head sufficiently +to contrive to murmur some such compliment as might fittingly come +from a middle-aged individual of a rank neither excessively high nor +excessively low. Next, when couples had been formed for dancing and the +remainder of the company found itself pressed back against the walls, +Chichikov folded his arms, and carefully scrutinised the dancers. Some +of the ladies were dressed well and in the fashion, while the remainder +were clad in such garments as God usually bestows upon a provincial +town. Also here, as elsewhere, the men belonged to two separate and +distinct categories; one of which comprised slender individuals who, +flitting around the ladies, were scarcely to be distinguished from +denizens of the metropolis, so carefully, so artistically, groomed were +their whiskers, so presentable their oval, clean-shaven faces, so easy +the manner of their dancing attendance upon their womenfolk, so glib +their French conversation as they quizzed their female companions. As +for the other category, it comprised individuals who, stout, or of the +same build as Chichikov (that is to say, neither very portly nor very +lean), backed and sidled away from the ladies, and kept peering hither +and thither to see whether the Governor’s footmen had set out green +tables for whist. Their features were full and plump, some of them had +beards, and in no case was their hair curled or waved or arranged in +what the French call “the devil-may-care” style. On the contrary, their +heads were either close-cropped or brushed very smooth, and their faces +were round and firm. This category represented the more respectable +officials of the town. In passing, I may say that in business matters +fat men always prove superior to their leaner brethren; which is +probably the reason why the latter are mostly to be found in the +Political Police, or acting as mere ciphers whose existence is a purely +hopeless, airy, trivial one. Again, stout individuals never take a back +seat, but always a front one, and, wheresoever it be, they sit firmly, +and with confidence, and decline to budge even though the seat crack and +bend with their weight. For comeliness of exterior they care not a rap, +and therefore a dress coat sits less easily on their figures than is the +case with figures of leaner individuals. Yet invariably fat men amass +the greater wealth. In three years’ time a thin man will not have a +single serf whom he has left unpledged; whereas--well, pray look at +a fat man’s fortunes, and what will you see? First of all a suburban +villa, and then a larger suburban villa, and then a villa close to a +town, and lastly a country estate which comprises every amenity! That is +to say, having served both God and the State, the stout individual +has won universal respect, and will end by retiring from business, +reordering his mode of life, and becoming a Russian landowner--in other +words, a fine gentleman who dispenses hospitality, lives in comfort and +luxury, and is destined to leave his property to heirs who are purposing +to squander the same on foreign travel. + +That the foregoing represents pretty much the gist of Chichikov’s +reflections as he stood watching the company I will not attempt to deny. +And of those reflections the upshot was that he decided to join +himself to the stouter section of the guests, among whom he had +already recognised several familiar faces--namely, those of the Public +Prosecutor (a man with beetling brows over eyes which seemed to be +saying with a wink, “Come into the next room, my friend, for I have +something to say to you”--though, in the main, their owner was a man of +grave and taciturn habit), of the Postmaster (an insignificant-looking +individual, yet a would-be wit and a philosopher), and of the President +of the Local Council (a man of much amiability and good sense). These +three personages greeted Chichikov as an old acquaintance, and to their +salutations he responded with a sidelong, yet a sufficiently civil, bow. +Also, he became acquainted with an extremely unctuous and approachable +landowner named Manilov, and with a landowner of more uncouth exterior +named Sobakevitch--the latter of whom began the acquaintance by treading +heavily upon Chichikov’s toes, and then begging his pardon. Next, +Chichikov received an offer of a “cut in” at whist, and accepted +the same with his usual courteous inclination of the head. Seating +themselves at a green table, the party did not rise therefrom till +supper time; and during that period all conversation between the players +became hushed, as is the custom when men have given themselves up to +a really serious pursuit. Even the Postmaster--a talkative man by +nature--had no sooner taken the cards into his hands than he assumed +an expression of profound thought, pursed his lips, and retained this +attitude unchanged throughout the game. Only when playing a court card +was it his custom to strike the table with his fist, and to exclaim (if +the card happened to be a queen), “Now, old popadia [7]!” and (if +the card happened to be a king), “Now, peasant of Tambov!” To which +ejaculations invariably the President of the Local Council retorted, +“Ah, I have him by the ears, I have him by the ears!” And from the +neighbourhood of the table other strong ejaculations relative to the +play would arise, interposed with one or another of those nicknames +which participants in a game are apt to apply to members of the various +suits. I need hardly add that, the game over, the players fell to +quarrelling, and that in the dispute our friend joined, though so +artfully as to let every one see that, in spite of the fact that he was +wrangling, he was doing so only in the most amicable fashion possible. +Never did he say outright, “You played the wrong card at such and such +a point.” No, he always employed some such phrase as, “You permitted +yourself to make a slip, and thus afforded me the honour of covering +your deuce.” Indeed, the better to keep in accord with his antagonists, +he kept offering them his silver-enamelled snuff-box (at the bottom +of which lay a couple of violets, placed there for the sake of their +scent). In particular did the newcomer pay attention to landowners +Manilov and Sobakevitch; so much so that his haste to arrive on good +terms with them led to his leaving the President and the Postmaster +rather in the shade. At the same time, certain questions which he put +to those two landowners evinced not only curiosity, but also a certain +amount of sound intelligence; for he began by asking how many peasant +souls each of them possessed, and how their affairs happened at present +to be situated, and then proceeded to enlighten himself also as their +standing and their families. Indeed, it was not long before he had +succeeded in fairly enchanting his new friends. In particular did +Manilov--a man still in his prime, and possessed of a pair of eyes +which, sweet as sugar, blinked whenever he laughed--find himself unable +to make enough of his enchanter. Clasping Chichikov long and fervently +by the hand, he besought him to do him, Manilov, the honour of visiting +his country house (which he declared to lie at a distance of not more +than fifteen versts from the boundaries of the town); and in return +Chichikov averred (with an exceedingly affable bow and a most sincere +handshake) that he was prepared not only to fulfil his friend’s behest, +but also to look upon the fulfilling of it as a sacred duty. In the same +way Sobakevitch said to him laconically: “And do you pay ME a visit,” + and then proceeded to shuffle a pair of boots of such dimensions that +to find a pair to correspond with them would have been indeed +difficult--more especially at the present day, when the race of epic +heroes is beginning to die out in Russia. + +Next day Chichikov dined and spent the evening at the house of the Chief +of Police--a residence where, three hours after dinner, every one sat +down to whist, and remained so seated until two o’clock in the morning. +On this occasion Chichikov made the acquaintance of, among others, a +landowner named Nozdrev--a dissipated little fellow of thirty who had no +sooner exchanged three or four words with his new acquaintance than he +began to address him in the second person singular. Yet although he did +the same to the Chief of Police and the Public Prosecutor, the company +had no sooner seated themselves at the card-table than both the one +and the other of these functionaries started to keep a careful eye upon +Nozdrev’s tricks, and to watch practically every card which he played. +The following evening Chichikov spent with the President of the Local +Council, who received his guests--even though the latter included two +ladies--in a greasy dressing-gown. Upon that followed an evening at the +Vice-Governor’s, a large dinner party at the house of the Commissioner +of Taxes, a smaller dinner-party at the house of the Public Prosecutor +(a very wealthy man), and a subsequent reception given by the Mayor. In +short, not an hour of the day did Chichikov find himself forced to +spend at home, and his return to the inn became necessary only for the +purposes of sleeping. Somehow or other he had landed on his feet, and +everywhere he figured as an experienced man of the world. No matter what +the conversation chanced to be about, he always contrived to maintain +his part in the same. Did the discourse turn upon horse-breeding, upon +horse-breeding he happened to be peculiarly well-qualified to speak. Did +the company fall to discussing well-bred dogs, at once he had remarks of +the most pertinent kind possible to offer. Did the company touch upon +a prosecution which had recently been carried out by the Excise +Department, instantly he showed that he too was not wholly unacquainted +with legal affairs. Did an opinion chance to be expressed concerning +billiards, on that subject too he was at least able to avoid committing +a blunder. Did a reference occur to virtue, concerning virtue he +hastened to deliver himself in a way which brought tears to every eye. +Did the subject in hand happen to be the distilling of brandy--well, +that was a matter concerning which he had the soundest of knowledge. Did +any one happen to mention Customs officials and inspectors, from that +moment he expatiated as though he too had been both a minor functionary +and a major. Yet a remarkable fact was the circumstance that he always +contrived to temper his omniscience with a certain readiness to give +way, a certain ability so to keep a rein upon himself that never did his +utterances become too loud or too soft, or transcend what was perfectly +befitting. In a word, he was always a gentleman of excellent manners, +and every official in the place felt pleased when he saw him enter the +door. Thus the Governor gave it as his opinion that Chichikov was a man +of excellent intentions; the Public Prosecutor, that he was a good man +of business; the Chief of Gendarmery, that he was a man of education; +the President of the Local Council, that he was a man of breeding and +refinement; and the wife of the Chief of Gendarmery, that his politeness +of behaviour was equalled only by his affability of bearing. Nay, even +Sobakevitch--who as a rule never spoke well of ANY ONE--said to his +lanky wife when, on returning late from the town, he undressed and +betook himself to bed by her side: “My dear, this evening, after dining +with the Chief of Police, I went on to the Governor’s, and met there, +among others, a certain Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov, who is a Collegiate +Councillor and a very pleasant fellow.” To this his spouse replied “Hm!” + and then dealt him a hearty kick in the ribs. + +Such were the flattering opinions earned by the newcomer to the town; +and these opinions he retained until the time when a certain speciality +of his, a certain scheme of his (the reader will learn presently what it +was), plunged the majority of the townsfolk into a sea of perplexity. + + + +CHAPTER II + +For more than two weeks the visitor lived amid a round of evening +parties and dinners; wherefore he spent (as the saying goes) a very +pleasant time. Finally he decided to extend his visits beyond the urban +boundaries by going and calling upon landowners Manilov and Sobakevitch, +seeing that he had promised on his honour to do so. Yet what really +incited him to this may have been a more essential cause, a matter of +greater gravity, a purpose which stood nearer to his heart, than the +motive which I have just given; and of that purpose the reader will +learn if only he will have the patience to read this prefatory narrative +(which, lengthy though it be, may yet develop and expand in proportion +as we approach the denouement with which the present work is destined to +be crowned). + +One evening, therefore, Selifan the coachman received orders to have +the horses harnessed in good time next morning; while Petrushka +received orders to remain behind, for the purpose of looking after the +portmanteau and the room. In passing, the reader may care to become +more fully acquainted with the two serving-men of whom I have spoken. +Naturally, they were not persons of much note, but merely what folk call +characters of secondary, or even of tertiary, importance. Yet, despite +the fact that the springs and the thread of this romance will not DEPEND +upon them, but only touch upon them, and occasionally include them, +the author has a passion for circumstantiality, and, like the average +Russian, such a desire for accuracy as even a German could not rival. +To what the reader already knows concerning the personages in hand it is +therefore necessary to add that Petrushka usually wore a cast-off brown +jacket of a size too large for him, as also that he had (according to +the custom of individuals of his calling) a pair of thick lips and +a very prominent nose. In temperament he was taciturn rather than +loquacious, and he cherished a yearning for self-education. That is to +say, he loved to read books, even though their contents came alike to +him whether they were books of heroic adventure or mere grammars or +liturgical compendia. As I say, he perused every book with an equal +amount of attention, and, had he been offered a work on chemistry, +would have accepted that also. Not the words which he read, but the mere +solace derived from the act of reading, was what especially pleased his +mind; even though at any moment there might launch itself from the page +some devil-sent word whereof he could make neither head nor tail. For +the most part, his task of reading was performed in a recumbent position +in the anteroom; which circumstance ended by causing his mattress to +become as ragged and as thin as a wafer. In addition to his love of +poring over books, he could boast of two habits which constituted two +other essential features of his character--namely, a habit of +retiring to rest in his clothes (that is to say, in the brown jacket +above-mentioned) and a habit of everywhere bearing with him his own +peculiar atmosphere, his own peculiar smell--a smell which filled +any lodging with such subtlety that he needed but to make up his bed +anywhere, even in a room hitherto untenanted, and to drag thither his +greatcoat and other impedimenta, for that room at once to assume an air +of having been lived in during the past ten years. Nevertheless, though +a fastidious, and even an irritable, man, Chichikov would merely frown +when his nose caught this smell amid the freshness of the morning, and +exclaim with a toss of his head: “The devil only knows what is up with +you! Surely you sweat a good deal, do you not? The best thing you can do +is to go and take a bath.” To this Petrushka would make no reply, but, +approaching, brush in hand, the spot where his master’s coat would be +pendent, or starting to arrange one and another article in order, would +strive to seem wholly immersed in his work. Yet of what was he thinking +as he remained thus silent? Perhaps he was saying to himself: “My master +is a good fellow, but for him to keep on saying the same thing forty +times over is a little wearisome.” Only God knows and sees all things; +wherefore for a mere human being to know what is in the mind of a +servant while his master is scolding him is wholly impossible. However, +no more need be said about Petrushka. On the other hand, Coachman +Selifan-- + +But here let me remark that I do not like engaging the reader’s +attention in connection with persons of a lower class than himself; for +experience has taught me that we do not willingly familiarise ourselves +with the lower orders--that it is the custom of the average Russian to +yearn exclusively for information concerning persons on the higher rungs +of the social ladder. In fact, even a bowing acquaintance with a prince +or a lord counts, in his eyes, for more than do the most intimate of +relations with ordinary folk. For the same reason the author feels +apprehensive on his hero’s account, seeing that he has made that hero +a mere Collegiate Councillor--a mere person with whom Aulic Councillors +might consort, but upon whom persons of the grade of full General +[8] would probably bestow one of those glances proper to a man who is +cringing at their august feet. Worse still, such persons of the grade of +General are likely to treat Chichikov with studied negligence--and to an +author studied negligence spells death. + +However, in spite of the distressfulness of the foregoing possibilities, +it is time that I returned to my hero. After issuing, overnight, the +necessary orders, he awoke early, washed himself, rubbed himself +from head to foot with a wet sponge (a performance executed only on +Sundays--and the day in question happened to be a Sunday), shaved his +face with such care that his cheeks issued of absolutely satin-like +smoothness and polish, donned first his bilberry-coloured, spotted +frockcoat, and then his bearskin overcoat, descended the staircase +(attended, throughout, by the waiter) and entered his britchka. With a +loud rattle the vehicle left the inn-yard, and issued into the street. +A passing priest doffed his cap, and a few urchins in grimy shirts +shouted, “Gentleman, please give a poor orphan a trifle!” Presently the +driver noticed that a sturdy young rascal was on the point of climbing +onto the splashboard; wherefore he cracked his whip and the britchka +leapt forward with increased speed over the cobblestones. At last, with +a feeling of relief, the travellers caught sight of macadam ahead, which +promised an end both to the cobblestones and to sundry other annoyances. +And, sure enough, after his head had been bumped a few more times +against the boot of the conveyance, Chichikov found himself bowling over +softer ground. On the town receding into the distance, the sides of the +road began to be varied with the usual hillocks, fir trees, clumps of +young pine, trees with old, scarred trunks, bushes of wild juniper, and +so forth. Presently there came into view also strings of country villas +which, with their carved supports and grey roofs (the latter looking +like pendent, embroidered tablecloths), resembled, rather, bundles +of old faggots. Likewise the customary peasants, dressed in sheepskin +jackets, could be seen yawning on benches before their huts, while +their womenfolk, fat of feature and swathed of bosom, gazed out of upper +windows, and the windows below displayed, here a peering calf, and there +the unsightly jaws of a pig. In short, the view was one of the familiar +type. After passing the fifteenth verst-stone Chichikov suddenly +recollected that, according to Manilov, fifteen versts was the exact +distance between his country house and the town; but the sixteenth verst +stone flew by, and the said country house was still nowhere to be +seen. In fact, but for the circumstance that the travellers happened to +encounter a couple of peasants, they would have come on their errand in +vain. To a query as to whether the country house known as Zamanilovka +was anywhere in the neighbourhood the peasants replied by doffing their +caps; after which one of them who seemed to boast of a little more +intelligence than his companion, and who wore a wedge-shaped beard, made +answer: + +“Perhaps you mean Manilovka--not ZAmanilovka?” + +“Yes, yes--Manilovka.” + +“Manilovka, eh? Well, you must continue for another verst, and then you +will see it straight before you, on the right.” + +“On the right?” re-echoed the coachman. + +“Yes, on the right,” affirmed the peasant. “You are on the proper road +for Manilovka, but ZAmanilovka--well, there is no such place. The house +you mean is called Manilovka because Manilovka is its name; but no house +at all is called ZAmanilovka. The house you mean stands there, on that +hill, and is a stone house in which a gentleman lives, and its name +is Manilovka; but ZAmanilovka does not stand hereabouts, nor ever has +stood.” + +So the travellers proceeded in search of Manilovka, and, after driving +an additional two versts, arrived at a spot whence there branched off a +by-road. Yet two, three, or four versts of the by-road had been covered +before they saw the least sign of a two-storied stone mansion. Then it +was that Chichikov suddenly recollected that, when a friend has invited +one to visit his country house, and has said that the distance thereto +is fifteen versts, the distance is sure to turn out to be at least +thirty. + +Not many people would have admired the situation of Manilov’s abode, for +it stood on an isolated rise and was open to every wind that blew. On +the slope of the rise lay closely-mown turf, while, disposed here and +there, after the English fashion, were flower-beds containing clumps of +lilac and yellow acacia. Also, there were a few insignificant groups +of slender-leaved, pointed-tipped birch trees, with, under two of the +latter, an arbour having a shabby green cupola, some blue-painted wooden +supports, and the inscription “This is the Temple of Solitary Thought.” + Lower down the slope lay a green-coated pond--green-coated ponds +constitute a frequent spectacle in the gardens of Russian landowners; +and, lastly, from the foot of the declivity there stretched a line of +mouldy, log-built huts which, for some obscure reason or another, our +hero set himself to count. Up to two hundred or more did he count, but +nowhere could he perceive a single leaf of vegetation or a single stick +of timber. The only thing to greet the eye was the logs of which the +huts were constructed. Nevertheless the scene was to a certain extent +enlivened by the spectacle of two peasant women who, with clothes +picturesquely tucked up, were wading knee-deep in the pond and dragging +behind them, with wooden handles, a ragged fishing-net, in the meshes +of which two crawfish and a roach with glistening scales were entangled. +The women appeared to have cause of dispute between themselves--to be +rating one another about something. In the background, and to one side +of the house, showed a faint, dusky blur of pinewood, and even the +weather was in keeping with the surroundings, since the day was neither +clear nor dull, but of the grey tint which may be noted in uniforms of +garrison soldiers which have seen long service. To complete the picture, +a cock, the recognised harbinger of atmospheric mutations, was present; +and, in spite of the fact that a certain connection with affairs of +gallantry had led to his having had his head pecked bare by other +cocks, he flapped a pair of wings--appendages as bare as two pieces of +bast--and crowed loudly. + +As Chichikov approached the courtyard of the mansion he caught sight +of his host (clad in a green frock coat) standing on the verandah and +pressing one hand to his eyes to shield them from the sun and so get a +better view of the approaching carriage. In proportion as the britchka +drew nearer and nearer to the verandah, the host’s eyes assumed a more +and more delighted expression, and his smile a broader and broader +sweep. + +“Paul Ivanovitch!” he exclaimed when at length Chichikov leapt from the +vehicle. “Never should I have believed that you would have remembered +us!” + +The two friends exchanged hearty embraces, and Manilov then conducted +his guest to the drawing-room. During the brief time that they are +traversing the hall, the anteroom, and the dining-room, let me try +to say something concerning the master of the house. But such an +undertaking bristles with difficulties--it promises to be a far less +easy task than the depicting of some outstanding personality which calls +but for a wholesale dashing of colours upon the canvas--the colours of +a pair of dark, burning eyes, a pair of dark, beetling brows, a forehead +seamed with wrinkles, a black, or a fiery-red, cloak thrown backwards +over the shoulder, and so forth, and so forth. Yet, so numerous are +Russian serf owners that, though careful scrutiny reveals to one’s sight +a quantity of outre peculiarities, they are, as a class, exceedingly +difficult to portray, and one needs to strain one’s faculties to the +utmost before it becomes possible to pick out their variously subtle, +their almost invisible, features. In short, one needs, before doing +this, to carry out a prolonged probing with the aid of an insight +sharpened in the acute school of research. + +Only God can say what Manilov’s real character was. A class of men +exists whom the proverb has described as “men unto themselves, neither +this nor that--neither Bogdan of the city nor Selifan of the village.” + And to that class we had better assign also Manilov. Outwardly he was +presentable enough, for his features were not wanting in amiability, but +that amiability was a quality into which there entered too much of the +sugary element, so that his every gesture, his every attitude, seemed +to connote an excess of eagerness to curry favour and cultivate a closer +acquaintance. On first speaking to the man, his ingratiating smile, his +flaxen hair, and his blue eyes would lead one to say, “What a pleasant, +good-tempered fellow he seems!” yet during the next moment or two one +would feel inclined to say nothing at all, and, during the third moment, +only to say, “The devil alone knows what he is!” And should, thereafter, +one not hasten to depart, one would inevitably become overpowered with +the deadly sense of ennui which comes of the intuition that nothing +in the least interesting is to be looked for, but only a series of +wearisome utterances of the kind which are apt to fall from the lips +of a man whose hobby has once been touched upon. For every man HAS his +hobby. One man’s may be sporting dogs; another man’s may be that of +believing himself to be a lover of music, and able to sound the art to +its inmost depths; another’s may be that of posing as a connoisseur of +recherche cookery; another’s may be that of aspiring to play roles of +a kind higher than nature has assigned him; another’s (though this is +a more limited ambition) may be that of getting drunk, and of dreaming +that he is edifying both his friends, his acquaintances, and people with +whom he has no connection at all by walking arm-in-arm with an Imperial +aide-de-camp; another’s may be that of possessing a hand able to chip +corners off aces and deuces of diamonds; another’s may be that of +yearning to set things straight--in other words, to approximate his +personality to that of a stationmaster or a director of posts. In short, +almost every man has his hobby or his leaning; yet Manilov had none +such, for at home he spoke little, and spent the greater part of +his time in meditation--though God only knows what that meditation +comprised! Nor can it be said that he took much interest in the +management of his estate, for he never rode into the country, and the +estate practically managed itself. Whenever the bailiff said to him, “It +might be well to have such-and-such a thing done,” he would reply, “Yes, +that is not a bad idea,” and then go on smoking his pipe--a habit which +he had acquired during his service in the army, where he had been looked +upon as an officer of modesty, delicacy, and refinement. “Yes, it is NOT +a bad idea,” he would repeat. Again, whenever a peasant approached him +and, rubbing the back of his neck, said “Barin, may I have leave to go +and work for myself, in order that I may earn my obrok [9]?” he would +snap out, with pipe in mouth as usual, “Yes, go!” and never trouble his +head as to whether the peasant’s real object might not be to go and get +drunk. True, at intervals he would say, while gazing from the verandah +to the courtyard, and from the courtyard to the pond, that it would be +indeed splendid if a carriage drive could suddenly materialise, and the +pond as suddenly become spanned with a stone bridge, and little shops +as suddenly arise whence pedlars could dispense the petty merchandise of +the kind which peasantry most need. And at such moments his eyes +would grow winning, and his features assume an expression of intense +satisfaction. Yet never did these projects pass beyond the stage of +debate. Likewise there lay in his study a book with the fourteenth page +permanently turned down. It was a book which he had been reading for +the past two years! In general, something seemed to be wanting in the +establishment. For instance, although the drawing-room was filled with +beautiful furniture, and upholstered in some fine silken material which +clearly had cost no inconsiderable sum, two of the chairs lacked +any covering but bast, and for some years past the master had been +accustomed to warn his guests with the words, “Do not sit upon these +chairs; they are not yet ready for use.” Another room contained no +furniture at all, although, a few days after the marriage, it had been +said: “My dear, to-morrow let us set about procuring at least some +TEMPORARY furniture for this room.” Also, every evening would see placed +upon the drawing-room table a fine bronze candelabrum, a statuette +representative of the Three Graces, a tray inlaid with mother-of-pearl, +and a rickety, lop-sided copper invalide. Yet of the fact that all four +articles were thickly coated with grease neither the master of the +house nor the mistress nor the servants seemed to entertain the least +suspicion. At the same time, Manilov and his wife were quite satisfied +with each other. More than eight years had elapsed since their marriage, +yet one of them was for ever offering his or her partner a piece of +apple or a bonbon or a nut, while murmuring some tender something which +voiced a whole-hearted affection. “Open your mouth, dearest”--thus ran +the formula--“and let me pop into it this titbit.” You may be sure that +on such occasions the “dearest mouth” parted its lips most graciously! +For their mutual birthdays the pair always contrived some “surprise +present” in the shape of a glass receptacle for tooth-powder, or what +not; and as they sat together on the sofa he would suddenly, and for +some unknown reason, lay aside his pipe, and she her work (if at the +moment she happened to be holding it in her hands) and husband and wife +would imprint upon one another’s cheeks such a prolonged and languishing +kiss that during its continuance you could have smoked a small cigar. In +short, they were what is known as “a very happy couple.” Yet it may be +remarked that a household requires other pursuits to be engaged in than +lengthy embracings and the preparing of cunning “surprises.” Yes, many +a function calls for fulfilment. For instance, why should it be thought +foolish or low to superintend the kitchen? Why should care not be taken +that the storeroom never lacks supplies? Why should a housekeeper be +allowed to thieve? Why should slovenly and drunken servants exist? +Why should a domestic staff be suffered in indulge in bouts of +unconscionable debauchery during its leisure time? Yet none of these +things were thought worthy of consideration by Manilov’s wife, for she +had been gently brought up, and gentle nurture, as we all know, is to +be acquired only in boarding schools, and boarding schools, as we know, +hold the three principal subjects which constitute the basis of human +virtue to be the French language (a thing indispensable to the happiness +of married life), piano-playing (a thing wherewith to beguile +a husband’s leisure moments), and that particular department of +housewifery which is comprised in the knitting of purses and other +“surprises.” Nevertheless changes and improvements have begun to take +place, since things now are governed more by the personal inclinations +and idiosyncracies of the keepers of such establishments. For instance, +in some seminaries the regimen places piano-playing first, and the +French language second, and then the above department of housewifery; +while in other seminaries the knitting of “surprises” heads the list, +and then the French language, and then the playing of pianos--so diverse +are the systems in force! None the less, I may remark that Madame +Manilov-- + +But let me confess that I always shrink from saying too much about +ladies. Moreover, it is time that we returned to our heroes, who, during +the past few minutes, have been standing in front of the drawing-room +door, and engaged in urging one another to enter first. + +“Pray be so good as not to inconvenience yourself on my account,” said +Chichikov. “_I_ will follow YOU.” + +“No, Paul Ivanovitch--no! You are my guest.” And Manilov pointed towards +the doorway. + +“Make no difficulty about it, I pray,” urged Chichikov. “I beg of you to +make no difficulty about it, but to pass into the room.” + +“Pardon me, I will not. Never could I allow so distinguished and so +welcome a guest as yourself to take second place.” + +“Why call me ‘distinguished,’ my dear sir? I beg of you to proceed.” + +“Nay; be YOU pleased to do so.” + +“And why?” + +“For the reason which I have stated.” And Manilov smiled his very +pleasantest smile. + +Finally the pair entered simultaneously and sideways; with the result +that they jostled one another not a little in the process. + +“Allow me to present to you my wife,” continued Manilov. “My dear--Paul +Ivanovitch.” + +Upon that Chichikov caught sight of a lady whom hitherto he had +overlooked, but who, with Manilov, was now bowing to him in the doorway. +Not wholly of unpleasing exterior, she was dressed in a well-fitting, +high-necked morning dress of pale-coloured silk; and as the visitor +entered the room her small white hands threw something upon the table +and clutched her embroidered skirt before rising from the sofa where she +had been seated. Not without a sense of pleasure did Chichikov take her +hand as, lisping a little, she declared that she and her husband were +equally gratified by his coming, and that, of late, not a day had passed +without her husband recalling him to mind. + +“Yes,” affirmed Manilov; “and every day SHE has said to ME: ‘Why does +not your friend put in an appearance?’ ‘Wait a little dearest,’ I have +always replied. ‘’Twill not be long now before he comes.’ And you HAVE +come, you HAVE honoured us with a visit, you HAVE bestowed upon us a +treat--a treat destined to convert this day into a gala day, a true +birthday of the heart.” + +The intimation that matters had reached the point of the occasion being +destined to constitute a “true birthday of the heart” caused Chichikov +to become a little confused; wherefore he made modest reply that, as a +matter of fact, he was neither of distinguished origin nor distinguished +rank. + +“Ah, you ARE so,” interrupted Manilov with his fixed and engaging smile. +“You are all that, and more.” + +“How like you our town?” queried Madame. “Have you spent an agreeable +time in it?” + +“Very,” replied Chichikov. “The town is an exceedingly nice one, and I +have greatly enjoyed its hospitable society.” + +“And what do you think of our Governor?” + +“Yes; IS he not a most engaging and dignified personage?” added Manilov. + +“He is all that,” assented Chichikov. “Indeed, he is a man worthy of the +greatest respect. And how thoroughly he performs his duty according to +his lights! Would that we had more like him!” + +“And the tactfulness with which he greets every one!” added Manilov, +smiling, and half-closing his eyes, like a cat which is being tickled +behind the ears. + +“Quite so,” assented Chichikov. “He is a man of the most eminent +civility and approachableness. And what an artist! Never should I have +thought he could have worked the marvellous household samplers which he +has done! Some specimens of his needlework which he showed me could not +well have been surpassed by any lady in the land!” + +“And the Vice-Governor, too--he is a nice man, is he not?” inquired +Manilov with renewed blinkings of the eyes. + +“Who? The Vice-Governor? Yes, a most worthy fellow!” replied Chichikov. + +“And what of the Chief of Police? Is it not a fact that he too is in the +highest degree agreeable?” + +“Very agreeable indeed. And what a clever, well-read individual! With +him and the Public Prosecutor and the President of the Local Council I +played whist until the cocks uttered their last morning crow. He is a +most excellent fellow.” + +“And what of his wife?” queried Madame Manilov. “Is she not a most +gracious personality?” + +“One of the best among my limited acquaintance,” agreed Chichikov. + +Nor were the President of the Local Council and the Postmaster +overlooked; until the company had run through the whole list of urban +officials. And in every case those officials appeared to be persons of +the highest possible merit. + +“Do you devote your time entirely to your estate?” asked Chichikov, in +his turn. + +“Well, most of it,” replied Manilov; “though also we pay occasional +visits to the town, in order that we may mingle with a little well-bred +society. One grows a trifle rusty if one lives for ever in retirement.” + +“Quite so,” agreed Chichikov. + +“Yes, quite so,” capped Manilov. “At the same time, it would be a +different matter if the neighbourhood were a GOOD one--if, for example, +one had a friend with whom one could discuss manners and polite +deportment, or engage in some branch of science, and so stimulate one’s +wits. For that sort of thing gives one’s intellect an airing. It, it--” + At a loss for further words, he ended by remarking that his feelings +were apt to carry him away; after which he continued with a gesture: +“What I mean is that, were that sort of thing possible, I, for +one, could find the country and an isolated life possessed of great +attractions. But, as matters stand, such a thing is NOT possible. All +that I can manage to do is, occasionally, to read a little of A Son of +the Fatherland.” + +With these sentiments Chichikov expressed entire agreement: adding that +nothing could be more delightful than to lead a solitary life in which +there should be comprised only the sweet contemplation of nature and the +intermittent perusal of a book. + +“Nay, but even THAT were worth nothing had not one a friend with whom to +share one’s life,” remarked Manilov. + +“True, true,” agreed Chichikov. “Without a friend, what are all the +treasures in the world? ‘Possess not money,’ a wise man has said, ‘but +rather good friends to whom to turn in case of need.’” + +“Yes, Paul Ivanovitch,” said Manilov with a glance not merely sweet, +but positively luscious--a glance akin to the mixture which even clever +physicians have to render palatable before they can induce a hesitant +patient to take it. “Consequently you may imagine what happiness--what +PERFECT happiness, so to speak--the present occasion has brought me, +seeing that I am permitted to converse with you and to enjoy your +conversation.” + +“But WHAT of my conversation?” replied Chichikov. “I am an insignificant +individual, and, beyond that, nothing.” + +“Oh, Paul Ivanovitch!” cried the other. “Permit me to be frank, and to +say that I would give half my property to possess even a PORTION of the +talents which you possess.” + +“On the contrary, I should consider it the highest honour in the world +if--” + +The lengths to which this mutual outpouring of soul would have proceeded +had not a servant entered to announce luncheon must remain a mystery. + +“I humbly invite you to join us at table,” said Manilov. “Also, you will +pardon us for the fact that we cannot provide a banquet such as is to +be obtained in our metropolitan cities? We partake of simple fare, +according to Russian custom--we confine ourselves to shtchi [10], but we +do so with a single heart. Come, I humbly beg of you.” + +After another contest for the honour of yielding precedence, Chichikov +succeeded in making his way (in zigzag fashion) to the dining-room, +where they found awaiting them a couple of youngsters. These were +Manilov’s sons, and boys of the age which admits of their presence at +table, but necessitates the continued use of high chairs. Beside them +was their tutor, who bowed politely and smiled; after which the hostess +took her seat before her soup plate, and the guest of honour found +himself esconsed between her and the master of the house, while the +servant tied up the boys’ necks in bibs. + +“What charming children!” said Chichikov as he gazed at the pair. “And +how old are they?” + +“The eldest is eight,” replied Manilov, “and the younger one attained +the age of six yesterday.” + +“Themistocleus,” went on the father, turning to his first-born, who was +engaged in striving to free his chin from the bib with which the footman +had encircled it. On hearing this distinctly Greek name (to which, for +some unknown reason, Manilov always appended the termination “eus”), +Chichikov raised his eyebrows a little, but hastened, the next moment, +to restore his face to a more befitting expression. + +“Themistocleus,” repeated the father, “tell me which is the finest city +in France.” + +Upon this the tutor concentrated his attention upon Themistocleus, and +appeared to be trying hard to catch his eye. Only when Themistocleus had +muttered “Paris” did the preceptor grow calmer, and nod his head. + +“And which is the finest city in Russia?” continued Manilov. + +Again the tutor’s attitude became wholly one of concentration. + +“St. Petersburg,” replied Themistocleus. + +“And what other city?” + +“Moscow,” responded the boy. + +“Clever little dear!” burst out Chichikov, turning with an air of +surprise to the father. “Indeed, I feel bound to say that the child +evinces the greatest possible potentialities.” + +“You do not know him fully,” replied the delighted Manilov. “The amount +of sharpness which he possesses is extraordinary. Our younger one, +Alkid, is not so quick; whereas his brother--well, no matter what he +may happen upon (whether upon a cowbug or upon a water-beetle or upon +anything else), his little eyes begin jumping out of his head, and he +runs to catch the thing, and to inspect it. For HIM I am reserving a +diplomatic post. Themistocleus,” added the father, again turning to his +son, “do you wish to become an ambassador?” + +“Yes, I do,” replied Themistocleus, chewing a piece of bread and wagging +his head from side to side. + +At this moment the lacquey who had been standing behind the future +ambassador wiped the latter’s nose; and well it was that he did so, +since otherwise an inelegant and superfluous drop would have been added +to the soup. After that the conversation turned upon the joys of a quiet +life--though occasionally it was interrupted by remarks from the hostess +on the subject of acting and actors. Meanwhile the tutor kept his eyes +fixed upon the speakers’ faces; and whenever he noticed that they were +on the point of laughing he at once opened his mouth, and laughed with +enthusiasm. Probably he was a man of grateful heart who wished to +repay his employers for the good treatment which he had received. Once, +however, his features assumed a look of grimness as, fixing his eyes +upon his vis-a-vis, the boys, he tapped sternly upon the table. This +happened at a juncture when Themistocleus had bitten Alkid on the ear, +and the said Alkid, with frowning eyes and open mouth, was preparing +himself to sob in piteous fashion; until, recognising that for such a +proceeding he might possibly be deprived of his plate, he hastened to +restore his mouth to its original expression, and fell tearfully to +gnawing a mutton bone--the grease from which had soon covered his +cheeks. + +Every now and again the hostess would turn to Chichikov with the words, +“You are eating nothing--you have indeed taken little;” but invariably +her guest replied: “Thank you, I have had more than enough. A pleasant +conversation is worth all the dishes in the world.” + +At length the company rose from table. Manilov was in high spirits, +and, laying his hand upon his guest’s shoulder, was on the point of +conducting him to the drawing-room, when suddenly Chichikov intimated +to him, with a meaning look, that he wished to speak to him on a very +important matter. + +“That being so,” said Manilov, “allow me to invite you into my study.” + And he led the way to a small room which faced the blue of the forest. +“This is my sanctum,” he added. + +“What a pleasant apartment!” remarked Chichikov as he eyed it carefully. +And, indeed, the room did not lack a certain attractiveness. The walls +were painted a sort of blueish-grey colour, and the furniture consisted +of four chairs, a settee, and a table--the latter of which bore a few +sheets of writing-paper and the book of which I have before had occasion +to speak. But the most prominent feature of the room was tobacco, which +appeared in many different guises--in packets, in a tobacco jar, and in +a loose heap strewn about the table. Likewise, both window sills were +studded with little heaps of ash, arranged, not without artifice, in +rows of more or less tidiness. Clearly smoking afforded the master of +the house a frequent means of passing the time. + +“Permit me to offer you a seat on this settee,” said Manilov. “Here you +will be quieter than you would be in the drawing-room.” + +“But I should prefer to sit upon this chair.” + +“I cannot allow that,” objected the smiling Manilov. “The settee is +specially reserved for my guests. Whether you choose or no, upon it you +MUST sit.” + +Accordingly Chichikov obeyed. + +“And also let me hand you a pipe.” + +“No, I never smoke,” answered Chichikov civilly, and with an assumed air +of regret. + +“And why?” inquired Manilov--equally civilly, but with a regret that was +wholly genuine. + +“Because I fear that I have never quite formed the habit, owing to +my having heard that a pipe exercises a desiccating effect upon the +system.” + +“Then allow me to tell you that that is mere prejudice. Nay, I would +even go so far as to say that to smoke a pipe is a healthier practice +than to take snuff. Among its members our regiment numbered a +lieutenant--a most excellent, well-educated fellow--who was simply +INCAPABLE of removing his pipe from his mouth, whether at table or +(pardon me) in other places. He is now forty, yet no man could enjoy +better health than he has always done.” + +Chichikov replied that such cases were common, since nature comprised +many things which even the finest intellect could not compass. + +“But allow me to put to you a question,” he went on in a tone in which +there was a strange--or, at all events, RATHER a strange--note. For some +unknown reason, also, he glanced over his shoulder. For some equally +unknown reason, Manilov glanced over HIS. + +“How long is it,” inquired the guest, “since you last rendered a census +return?” + +“Oh, a long, long time. In fact, I cannot remember when it was.” + +“And since then have many of your serfs died?” + +“I do not know. To ascertain that I should need to ask my bailiff. +Footman, go and call the bailiff. I think he will be at home to-day.” + +Before long the bailiff made his appearance. He was a man of under +forty, clean-shaven, clad in a smock, and evidently used to a quiet +life, seeing that his face was of that puffy fullness, and the skin +encircling his slit-like eyes was of that sallow tint, which shows that +the owner of those features is well acquainted with a feather bed. In a +trice it could be seen that he had played his part in life as all such +bailiffs do--that, originally a young serf of elementary education, he +had married some Agashka of a housekeeper or a mistress’s favourite, and +then himself become housekeeper, and, subsequently, bailiff; after which +he had proceeded according to the rules of his tribe--that is to say, +he had consorted with and stood in with the more well-to-do serfs on the +estate, and added the poorer ones to the list of forced payers of obrok, +while himself leaving his bed at nine o’clock in the morning, and, when +the samovar had been brought, drinking his tea at leisure. + +“Look here, my good man,” said Manilov. “How many of our serfs have died +since the last census revision?” + +“How many of them have died? Why, a great many.” The bailiff hiccoughed, +and slapped his mouth lightly after doing so. + +“Yes, I imagined that to be the case,” corroborated Manilov. “In fact, +a VERY great many serfs have died.” He turned to Chichikov and repeated +the words. + +“How many, for instance?” asked Chichikov. + +“Yes; how many?” re-echoed Manilov. + +“HOW many?” re-echoed the bailiff. “Well, no one knows the exact number, +for no one has kept any account.” + +“Quite so,” remarked Manilov. “I supposed the death-rate to have been +high, but was ignorant of its precise extent.” + +“Then would you be so good as to have it computed for me?” said +Chichikov. “And also to have a detailed list of the deaths made out?” + +“Yes, I will--a detailed list,” agreed Manilov. + +“Very well.” + +The bailiff departed. + +“For what purpose do you want it?” inquired Manilov when the bailiff had +gone. + +The question seemed to embarrass the guest, for in Chichikov’s face +there dawned a sort of tense expression, and it reddened as though its +owner were striving to express something not easy to put into words. +True enough, Manilov was now destined to hear such strange and +unexpected things as never before had greeted human ears. + +“You ask me,” said Chichikov, “for what purpose I want the list. Well, +my purpose in wanting it is this--that I desire to purchase a few +peasants.” And he broke off in a gulp. + +“But may I ask HOW you desire to purchase those peasants?” asked +Manilov. “With land, or merely as souls for transferment--that is to +say, by themselves, and without any land?” + +“I want the peasants themselves only,” replied Chichikov. “And I want +dead ones at that.” + +“What?--Excuse me, but I am a trifle deaf. Really, your words sound most +strange!” + +“All that I am proposing to do,” replied Chichikov, “is to purchase the +dead peasants who, at the last census, were returned by you as alive.” + +Manilov dropped his pipe on the floor, and sat gaping. Yes, the two +friends who had just been discussing the joys of camaraderie sat +staring at one another like the portraits which, of old, used to hang on +opposite sides of a mirror. At length Manilov picked up his pipe, and, +while doing so, glanced covertly at Chichikov to see whether there was +any trace of a smile to be detected on his lips--whether, in short, he +was joking. But nothing of the sort could be discerned. On the contrary, +Chichikov’s face looked graver than usual. Next, Manilov wondered +whether, for some unknown reason, his guest had lost his wits; wherefore +he spent some time in gazing at him with anxious intentness. But the +guest’s eyes seemed clear--they contained no spark of the wild, restless +fire which is apt to wander in the eyes of madmen. All was as it should +be. Consequently, in spite of Manilov’s cogitations, he could think +of nothing better to do than to sit letting a stream of tobacco smoke +escape from his mouth. + +“So,” continued Chichikov, “what I desire to know is whether you are +willing to hand over to me--to resign--these actually non-living, but +legally living, peasants; or whether you have any better proposal to +make?” + +Manilov felt too confused and confounded to do aught but continue +staring at his interlocutor. + +“I think that you are disturbing yourself unnecessarily,” was +Chichikov’s next remark. + +“I? Oh no! Not at all!” stammered Manilov. “Only--pardon me--I do not +quite comprehend you. You see, never has it fallen to my lot to acquire +the brilliant polish which is, so to speak, manifest in your every +movement. Nor have I ever been able to attain the art of expressing +myself well. Consequently, although there is a possibility that in +the--er--utterances which have just fallen from your lips there may +lie something else concealed, it may equally be that--er--you have been +pleased so to express yourself for the sake of the beauty of the terms +wherein that expression found shape?” + +“Oh, no,” asserted Chichikov. “I mean what I say and no more. My +reference to such of your pleasant souls as are dead was intended to be +taken literally.” + +Manilov still felt at a loss--though he was conscious that he MUST do +something, he MUST propound some question. But what question? The devil +alone knew! In the end he merely expelled some more tobacco smoke--this +time from his nostrils as well as from his mouth. + +“So,” went on Chichikov, “if no obstacle stands in the way, we might as +well proceed to the completion of the purchase.” + +“What? Of the purchase of the dead souls?” + +“Of the ‘dead’ souls? Oh dear no! Let us write them down as LIVING ones, +seeing that that is how they figure in the census returns. Never do I +permit myself to step outside the civil law, great though has been +the harm which that rule has wrought me in my career. In my eyes an +obligation is a sacred thing. In the presence of the law I am dumb.” + +These last words reassured Manilov not a little: yet still the meaning +of the affair remained to him a mystery. By way of answer, he fell to +sucking at his pipe with such vehemence that at length the pipe began +to gurgle like a bassoon. It was as though he had been seeking of +it inspiration in the present unheard-of juncture. But the pipe only +gurgled, et praeterea nihil. + +“Perhaps you feel doubtful about the proposal?” said Chichikov. + +“Not at all,” replied Manilov. “But you will, I know, excuse me if I +say (and I say it out of no spirit of prejudice, nor yet as criticising +yourself in any way)--you will, I know, excuse me if I say that possibly +this--er--this, er, SCHEME of yours, this--er--TRANSACTION of yours, may +fail altogether to accord with the Civil Statutes and Provisions of the +Realm?” + +And Manilov, with a slight gesture of the head, looked meaningly into +Chichikov’s face, while displaying in his every feature, including +his closely-compressed lips, such an expression of profundity as +never before was seen on any human countenance--unless on that of some +particularly sapient Minister of State who is debating some particularly +abstruse problem. + +Nevertheless Chichikov rejoined that the kind of scheme or transaction +which he had adumbrated in no way clashed with the Civil Statutes and +Provisions of Russia; to which he added that the Treasury would even +BENEFIT by the enterprise, seeing it would draw therefrom the usual +legal percentage. + +“What, then, do you propose?” asked Manilov. + +“I propose only what is above-board, and nothing else.” + +“Then, that being so, it is another matter, and I have nothing to urge +against it,” said Manilov, apparently reassured to the full. + +“Very well,” remarked Chichikov. “Then we need only to agree as to the +price.” + +“As to the price?” began Manilov, and then stopped. Presently he went +on: “Surely you cannot suppose me capable of taking money for souls +which, in one sense at least, have completed their existence? Seeing +that this fantastic whim of yours (if I may so call it?) has seized +upon you to the extent that it has, I, on my side, shall be ready to +surrender to you those souls UNCONDITIONALLY, and to charge myself with +the whole expenses of the sale.” + +I should be greatly to blame if I were to omit that, as soon as Manilov +had pronounced these words, the face of his guest became replete with +satisfaction. Indeed, grave and prudent a man though Chichikov was, +he had much ado to refrain from executing a leap that would have done +credit to a goat (an animal which, as we all know, finds itself moved +to such exertions only during moments of the most ecstatic joy). +Nevertheless the guest did at least execute such a convulsive shuffle +that the material with which the cushions of the chair were covered came +apart, and Manilov gazed at him with some misgiving. Finally Chichikov’s +gratitude led him to plunge into a stream of acknowledgement of a +vehemence which caused his host to grow confused, to blush, to shake +his head in deprecation, and to end by declaring that the concession was +nothing, and that, his one desire being to manifest the dictates of +his heart and the psychic magnetism which his friend exercised, he, in +short, looked upon the dead souls as so much worthless rubbish. + +“Not at all,” replied Chichikov, pressing his hand; after which +he heaved a profound sigh. Indeed, he seemed in the right mood for +outpourings of the heart, for he continued--not without a ring of +emotion in his tone: “If you but knew the service which you have +rendered to an apparently insignificant individual who is devoid both +of family and kindred! For what have I not suffered in my time--I, a +drifting barque amid the tempestuous billows of life? What harryings, +what persecutions, have I not known? Of what grief have I not tasted? +And why? Simply because I have ever kept the truth in view, because ever +I have preserved inviolate an unsullied conscience, because ever I have +stretched out a helping hand to the defenceless widow and the hapless +orphan!” After which outpouring Chichikov pulled out his handkerchief, +and wiped away a brimming tear. + +Manilov’s heart was moved to the core. Again and again did the two +friends press one another’s hands in silence as they gazed into one +another’s tear-filled eyes. Indeed, Manilov COULD not let go our hero’s +hand, but clasped it with such warmth that the hero in question began +to feel himself at a loss how best to wrench it free: until, quietly +withdrawing it, he observed that to have the purchase completed as +speedily as possible would not be a bad thing; wherefore he himself +would at once return to the town to arrange matters. Taking up his hat, +therefore, he rose to make his adieus. + +“What? Are you departing already?” said Manilov, suddenly recovering +himself, and experiencing a sense of misgiving. At that moment his wife +sailed into the room. + +“Is Paul Ivanovitch leaving us so soon, dearest Lizanka?” she said with +an air of regret. + +“Yes. Surely it must be that we have wearied him?” her spouse replied. + +“By no means,” asserted Chichikov, pressing his hand to his heart. “In +this breast, madam, will abide for ever the pleasant memory of the time +which I have spent with you. Believe me, I could conceive of no greater +blessing than to reside, if not under the same roof as yourselves, at +all events in your immediate neighbourhood.” + +“Indeed?” exclaimed Manilov, greatly pleased with the idea. “How +splendid it would be if you DID come to reside under our roof, so that +we could recline under an elm tree together, and talk philosophy, and +delve to the very root of things!” + +“Yes, it WOULD be a paradisaical existence!” agreed Chichikov with a +sigh. Nevertheless he shook hands with Madame. “Farewell, sudarina,” he +said. “And farewell to YOU, my esteemed host. Do not forget what I have +requested you to do.” + +“Rest assured that I will not,” responded Manilov. “Only for a couple of +days will you and I be parted from one another.” + +With that the party moved into the drawing-room. + +“Farewell, dearest children,” Chichikov went on as he caught sight of +Alkid and Themistocleus, who were playing with a wooden hussar which +lacked both a nose and one arm. “Farewell, dearest pets. Pardon me for +having brought you no presents, but, to tell you the truth, I was not, +until my visit, aware of your existence. However, now that I shall be +coming again, I will not fail to bring you gifts. Themistocleus, to you +I will bring a sword. You would like that, would you not?” + +“I should,” replied Themistocleus. + +“And to you, Alkid, I will bring a drum. That would suit you, would it +not?” And he bowed in Alkid’s direction. + +“Zeth--a drum,” lisped the boy, hanging his head. + +“Good! Then a drum it shall be--SUCH a beautiful drum! What a +tur-r-r-ru-ing and a tra-ta-ta-ta-ing you will be able to kick up! +Farewell, my darling.” And, kissing the boy’s head, he turned to Manilov +and Madame with the slight smile which one assumes before assuring +parents of the guileless merits of their offspring. + +“But you had better stay, Paul Ivanovitch,” said the father as the trio +stepped out on to the verandah. “See how the clouds are gathering!” + +“They are only small ones,” replied Chichikov. + +“And you know your way to Sobakevitch’s?” + +“No, I do not, and should be glad if you would direct me.” + +“If you like I will tell your coachman.” And in very civil fashion +Manilov did so, even going so far as to address the man in the second +person plural. On hearing that he was to pass two turnings, and then to +take a third, Selifan remarked, “We shall get there all right, sir,” and +Chichikov departed amid a profound salvo of salutations and wavings of +handkerchiefs on the part of his host and hostess, who raised themselves +on tiptoe in their enthusiasm. + +For a long while Manilov stood following the departing britchka with his +eyes. In fact, he continued to smoke his pipe and gaze after the +vehicle even when it had become lost to view. Then he re-entered the +drawing-room, seated himself upon a chair, and surrendered his mind to +the thought that he had shown his guest most excellent entertainment. +Next, his mind passed imperceptibly to other matters, until at last it +lost itself God only knows where. He thought of the amenities of a life, +of friendship, and of how nice it would be to live with a comrade on, +say, the bank of some river, and to span the river with a bridge of his +own, and to build an enormous mansion with a facade lofty enough even to +afford a view to Moscow. On that facade he and his wife and friend would +drink afternoon tea in the open air, and discuss interesting subjects; +after which, in a fine carriage, they would drive to some reunion or +other, where with their pleasant manners they would so charm the company +that the Imperial Government, on learning of their merits, would raise +the pair to the grade of General or God knows what--that is to say, to +heights whereof even Manilov himself could form no idea. Then suddenly +Chichikov’s extraordinary request interrupted the dreamer’s reflections, +and he found his brain powerless to digest it, seeing that, turn and +turn the matter about as he might, he could not properly explain its +bearing. Smoking his pipe, he sat where he was until supper time. + + + +CHAPTER III + +Meanwhile, Chichikov, seated in his britchka and bowling along the +turnpike, was feeling greatly pleased with himself. From the preceding +chapter the reader will have gathered the principal subject of his bent +and inclinations: wherefore it is no matter for wonder that his body +and his soul had ended by becoming wholly immersed therein. To all +appearances the thoughts, the calculations, and the projects which +were now reflected in his face partook of a pleasant nature, since +momentarily they kept leaving behind them a satisfied smile. Indeed, so +engrossed was he that he never noticed that his coachman, elated with +the hospitality of Manilov’s domestics, was making remarks of a didactic +nature to the off horse of the troika [11], a skewbald. This skewbald +was a knowing animal, and made only a show of pulling; whereas its +comrades, the middle horse (a bay, and known as the Assessor, owing to +his having been acquired from a gentleman of that rank) and the near +horse (a roan), would do their work gallantly, and even evince in their +eyes the pleasure which they derived from their exertions. + +“Ah, you rascal, you rascal! I’ll get the better of you!” ejaculated +Selifan as he sat up and gave the lazy one a cut with his whip. “YOU +know your business all right, you German pantaloon! The bay is a good +fellow, and does his duty, and I will give him a bit over his feed, for +he is a horse to be respected; and the Assessor too is a good horse. But +what are YOU shaking your ears for? You are a fool, so just mind when +you’re spoken to. ’Tis good advice I’m giving you, you blockhead. Ah! +You CAN travel when you like.” And he gave the animal another cut, +and then shouted to the trio, “Gee up, my beauties!” and drew his whip +gently across the backs of the skewbald’s comrades--not as a punishment, +but as a sign of his approval. That done, he addressed himself to the +skewbald again. + +“Do you think,” he cried, “that I don’t see what you are doing? You can +behave quite decently when you like, and make a man respect you.” + +With that he fell to recalling certain reminiscences. + +“They were NICE folk, those folk at the gentleman’s yonder,” he mused. +“I DO love a chat with a man when he is a good sort. With a man of that +kind I am always hail-fellow-well-met, and glad to drink a glass of +tea with him, or to eat a biscuit. One CAN’T help respecting a decent +fellow. For instance, this gentleman of mine--why, every one looks up +to him, for he has been in the Government’s service, and is a Collegiate +Councillor.” + +Thus soliloquising, he passed to more remote abstractions; until, had +Chichikov been listening, he would have learnt a number of interesting +details concerning himself. However, his thoughts were wholly occupied +with his own subject, so much so that not until a loud clap of thunder +awoke him from his reverie did he glance around him. The sky was +completely covered with clouds, and the dusty turnpike beginning to +be sprinkled with drops of rain. At length a second and a nearer and a +louder peal resounded, and the rain descended as from a bucket. Falling +slantwise, it beat upon one side of the basketwork of the tilt until the +splashings began to spurt into his face, and he found himself forced to +draw the curtains (fitted with circular openings through which to obtain +a glimpse of the wayside view), and to shout to Selifan to quicken his +pace. Upon that the coachman, interrupted in the middle of his harangue, +bethought him that no time was to be lost; wherefore, extracting from +under the box-seat a piece of old blanket, he covered over his sleeves, +resumed the reins, and cheered on his threefold team (which, it may +be said, had so completely succumbed to the influence of the pleasant +lassitude induced by Selifan’s discourse that it had taken to scarcely +placing one leg before the other). Unfortunately, Selifan could not +clearly remember whether two turnings had been passed or three. Indeed, +on collecting his faculties, and dimly recalling the lie of the road, +he became filled with a shrewd suspicion that A VERY LARGE NUMBER of +turnings had been passed. But since, at moments which call for a hasty +decision, a Russian is quick to discover what may conceivably be +the best course to take, our coachman put away from him all ulterior +reasoning, and, turning to the right at the next cross-road, shouted, +“Hi, my beauties!” and set off at a gallop. Never for a moment did he +stop to think whither the road might lead him! + +It was long before the clouds had discharged their burden, and, +meanwhile, the dust on the road became kneaded into mire, and the +horses’ task of pulling the britchka heavier and heavier. Also, +Chichikov had taken alarm at his continued failure to catch sight of +Sobakevitch’s country house. According to his calculations, it ought to +have been reached long ago. He gazed about him on every side, but the +darkness was too dense for the eye to pierce. + +“Selifan!” he exclaimed, leaning forward in the britchka. + +“What is it, barin?” replied the coachman. + +“Can you see the country house anywhere?” + +“No, barin.” After which, with a flourish of the whip, the man broke +into a sort of endless, drawling song. In that song everything had +a place. By “everything” I mean both the various encouraging and +stimulating cries with which Russian folk urge on their horses, and a +random, unpremeditated selection of adjectives. + +Meanwhile Chichikov began to notice that the britchka was swaying +violently, and dealing him occasional bumps. Consequently he suspected +that it had left the road and was being dragged over a ploughed field. +Upon Selifan’s mind there appeared to have dawned a similar inkling, for +he had ceased to hold forth. + +“You rascal, what road are you following?” inquired Chichikov. + +“I don’t know,” retorted the coachman. “What can a man do at a time of +night when the darkness won’t let him even see his whip?” And as Selifan +spoke the vehicle tilted to an angle which left Chichikov no choice but +to hang on with hands and teeth. At length he realised the fact that +Selifan was drunk. + +“Stop, stop, or you will upset us!” he shouted to the fellow. + +“No, no, barin,” replied Selifan. “HOW could I upset you? To upset +people is wrong. I know that very well, and should never dream of such +conduct.” + +Here he started to turn the vehicle round a little--and kept on doing so +until the britchka capsized on to its side, and Chichikov landed in the +mud on his hands and knees. Fortunately Selifan succeeded in stopping +the horses, although they would have stopped of themselves, seeing +that they were utterly worn out. This unforeseen catastrophe evidently +astonished their driver. Slipping from the box, he stood resting his +hands against the side of the britchka, while Chichikov tumbled and +floundered about in the mud, in a vain endeavour to wriggle clear of the +stuff. + +“Ah, you!” said Selifan meditatively to the britchka. “To think of +upsetting us like this!” + +“You are as drunk as a lord!” exclaimed Chichikov. + +“No, no, barin. Drunk, indeed? Why, I know my manners too well. A word +or two with a friend--that is all that I have taken. Any one may talk +with a decent man when he meets him. There is nothing wrong in +that. Also, we had a snack together. There is nothing wrong in a +snack--especially a snack with a decent man.” + +“What did I say to you when last you got drunk?” asked Chichikov. “Have +you forgotten what I said then?” + +“No, no, barin. HOW could I forget it? I know what is what, and know +that it is not right to get drunk. All that I have been having is a word +or two with a decent man, for the reason that--” + +“Well, if I lay the whip about you, you’ll know then how to talk to a +decent fellow, I’ll warrant!” + +“As you please, barin,” replied the complacent Selifan. “Should you +whip me, you will whip me, and I shall have nothing to complain of. Why +should you not whip me if I deserve it? ’Tis for you to do as you like. +Whippings are necessary sometimes, for a peasant often plays the fool, +and discipline ought to be maintained. If I have deserved it, beat me. +Why should you not?” + +This reasoning seemed, at the moment, irrefutable, and Chichikov said +nothing more. Fortunately fate had decided to take pity on the pair, for +from afar their ears caught the barking of a dog. Plucking up courage, +Chichikov gave orders for the britchka to be righted, and the horses to +be urged forward; and since a Russian driver has at least this merit, +that, owing to a keen sense of smell being able to take the place +of eyesight, he can, if necessary, drive at random and yet reach a +destination of some sort, Selifan succeeded, though powerless to discern +a single object, in directing his steeds to a country house near by, and +that with such a certainty of instinct that it was not until the shafts +had collided with a garden wall, and thereby made it clear that to +proceed another pace was impossible, that he stopped. All that Chichikov +could discern through the thick veil of pouring rain was something +which resembled a verandah. So he dispatched Selifan to search for the +entrance gates, and that process would have lasted indefinitely had it +not been shortened by the circumstance that, in Russia, the place of +a Swiss footman is frequently taken by watchdogs; of which animals a +number now proclaimed the travellers’ presence so loudly that Chichikov +found himself forced to stop his ears. Next, a light gleamed in one +of the windows, and filtered in a thin stream to the garden wall--thus +revealing the whereabouts of the entrance gates; whereupon Selifan +fell to knocking at the gates until the bolts of the house door were +withdrawn and there issued therefrom a figure clad in a rough cloak. + +“Who is that knocking? What have you come for?” shouted the hoarse voice +of an elderly woman. + +“We are travellers, good mother,” said Chichikov. “Pray allow us to +spend the night here.” + +“Out upon you for a pair of gadabouts!” retorted the old woman. “A fine +time of night to be arriving! We don’t keep an hotel, mind you. This is +a lady’s residence.” + +“But what are we to do, mother? We have lost our way, and cannot spend +the night out of doors in such weather.” + +“No, we cannot. The night is dark and cold,” added Selifan. + +“Hold your tongue, you fool!” exclaimed Chichikov. + +“Who ARE you, then?” inquired the old woman. + +“A dvorianin [12], good mother.” + +Somehow the word dvorianin seemed to give the old woman food for +thought. + +“Wait a moment,” she said, “and I will tell the mistress.” + +Two minutes later she returned with a lantern in her hand, the gates +were opened, and a light glimmered in a second window. Entering the +courtyard, the britchka halted before a moderate-sized mansion. The +darkness did not permit of very accurate observation being made, +but, apparently, the windows only of one-half of the building were +illuminated, while a quagmire in front of the door reflected the beams +from the same. Meanwhile the rain continued to beat sonorously down upon +the wooden roof, and could be heard trickling into a water butt; nor +for a single moment did the dogs cease to bark with all the strength of +their lungs. One of them, throwing up its head, kept venting a howl +of such energy and duration that the animal seemed to be howling for a +handsome wager; while another, cutting in between the yelpings of the +first animal, kept restlessly reiterating, like a postman’s bell, the +notes of a very young puppy. Finally, an old hound which appeared to be +gifted with a peculiarly robust temperament kept supplying the part of +contrabasso, so that his growls resembled the rumbling of a bass singer +when a chorus is in full cry, and the tenors are rising on tiptoe in +their efforts to compass a particularly high note, and the whole body of +choristers are wagging their heads before approaching a climax, and +this contrabasso alone is tucking his bearded chin into his collar, and +sinking almost to a squatting posture on the floor, in order to produce +a note which shall cause the windows to shiver and their panes to crack. +Naturally, from a canine chorus of such executants it might reasonably +be inferred that the establishment was one of the utmost respectability. +To that, however, our damp, cold hero gave not a thought, for all his +mind was fixed upon bed. Indeed, the britchka had hardly come to a +standstill before he leapt out upon the doorstep, missed his footing, +and came within an ace of falling. To meet him there issued a female +younger than the first, but very closely resembling her; and on his +being conducted to the parlour, a couple of glances showed him that the +room was hung with old striped curtains, and ornamented with pictures +of birds and small, antique mirrors--the latter set in dark frames which +were carved to resemble scrolls of foliage. Behind each mirror was stuck +either a letter or an old pack of cards or a stocking, while on the wall +hung a clock with a flowered dial. More, however, Chichikov could not +discern, for his eyelids were as heavy as though smeared with treacle. +Presently the lady of the house herself entered--an elderly woman in a +sort of nightcap (hastily put on) and a flannel neck wrap. She belonged +to that class of lady landowners who are for ever lamenting failures of +the harvest and their losses thereby; to the class who, drooping their +heads despondently, are all the while stuffing money into striped +purses, which they keep hoarded in the drawers of cupboards. Into one +purse they will stuff rouble pieces, into another half roubles, and into +a third tchetvertachki [13], although from their mien you would suppose +that the cupboard contained only linen and nightshirts and skeins of +wool and the piece of shabby material which is destined--should the +old gown become scorched during the baking of holiday cakes and other +dainties, or should it fall into pieces of itself--to become converted +into a new dress. But the gown never does get burnt or wear out, for +the reason that the lady is too careful; wherefore the piece of shabby +material reposes in its unmade-up condition until the priest advises +that it be given to the niece of some widowed sister, together with a +quantity of other such rubbish. + +Chichikov apologised for having disturbed the household with his +unexpected arrival. + +“Not at all, not at all,” replied the lady. “But in what dreadful +weather God has brought you hither! What wind and what rain! You could +not help losing your way. Pray excuse us for being unable to make better +preparations for you at this time of night.” + +Suddenly there broke in upon the hostess’ words the sound of a strange +hissing, a sound so loud that the guest started in alarm, and the more +so seeing that it increased until the room seemed filled with adders. On +glancing upwards, however, he recovered his composure, for he perceived +the sound to be emanating from the clock, which appeared to be in a mind +to strike. To the hissing sound there succeeded a wheezing one, until, +putting forth its best efforts, the thing struck two with as much +clatter as though some one had been hitting an iron pot with a +cudgel. That done, the pendulum returned to its right-left, right-left +oscillation. + +Chichikov thanked his hostess kindly, and said that he needed nothing, +and she must not put herself about: only for rest was he longing--though +also he should like to know whither he had arrived, and whether the +distance to the country house of land-owner Sobakevitch was anything +very great. To this the lady replied that she had never so much as heard +the name, since no gentleman of the name resided in the locality. + +“But at least you are acquainted with landowner Manilov?” continued +Chichikov. + +“No. Who is he?” + +“Another landed proprietor, madam.” + +“Well, neither have I heard of him. No such landowner lives hereabouts.” + +“Then who ARE your local landowners?” + +“Bobrov, Svinin, Kanapatiev, Khapakin, Trepakin, and Plieshakov.” + +“Are they rich men?” + +“No, none of them. One of them may own twenty souls, and another thirty, +but of gentry who own a hundred there are none.” + +Chichikov reflected that he had indeed fallen into an aristocratic +wilderness! + +“At all events, is the town far away?” he inquired. + +“About sixty versts. How sorry I am that I have nothing for you to eat! +Should you care to drink some tea?” + +“I thank you, good mother, but I require nothing beyond a bed.” + +“Well, after such a journey you must indeed be needing rest, so you +shall lie upon this sofa. Fetinia, bring a quilt and some pillows and +sheets. What weather God has sent us! And what dreadful thunder! Ever +since sunset I have had a candle burning before the ikon in my bedroom. +My God! Why, your back and sides are as muddy as a boar’s! However have +you managed to get into such a state?” + +“That I am nothing worse than muddy is indeed fortunate, since, but for +the Almighty, I should have had my ribs broken.” + +“Dear, dear! To think of all that you must have been through. Had I not +better wipe your back?” + +“I thank you, I thank you, but you need not trouble. Merely be so good +as to tell your maid to dry my clothes.” + +“Do you hear that, Fetinia?” said the hostess, turning to a woman who +was engaged in dragging in a feather bed and deluging the room with +feathers. “Take this coat and this vest, and, after drying them before +the fire--just as we used to do for your late master--give them a good +rub, and fold them up neatly.” + +“Very well, mistress,” said Fetinia, spreading some sheets over the bed, +and arranging the pillows. + +“Now your bed is ready for you,” said the hostess to Chichikov. +“Good-night, dear sir. I wish you good-night. Is there anything else +that you require? Perhaps you would like to have your heels tickled +before retiring to rest? Never could my late husband get to sleep +without that having been done.” + +But the guest declined the proffered heel-tickling, and, on his hostess +taking her departure, hastened to divest himself of his clothing, both +upper and under, and to hand the garments to Fetinia. She wished him +good-night, and removed the wet trappings; after which he found himself +alone. Not without satisfaction did he eye his bed, which reached +almost to the ceiling. Clearly Fetinia was a past mistress in the art of +beating up such a couch, and, as the result, he had no sooner mounted +it with the aid of a chair than it sank well-nigh to the floor, and the +feathers, squeezed out of their proper confines, flew hither and thither +into every corner of the apartment. Nevertheless he extinguished the +candle, covered himself over with the chintz quilt, snuggled down +beneath it, and instantly fell asleep. Next day it was late in the +morning before he awoke. Through the window the sun was shining into his +eyes, and the flies which, overnight, had been roosting quietly on the +walls and ceiling now turned their attention to the visitor. One settled +on his lip, another on his ear, a third hovered as though intending +to lodge in his very eye, and a fourth had the temerity to alight +just under his nostrils. In his drowsy condition he inhaled the latter +insect, sneezed violently, and so returned to consciousness. He +glanced around the room, and perceived that not all the pictures were +representative of birds, since among them hung also a portrait of +Kutuzov [14] and an oil painting of an old man in a uniform with red +facings such as were worn in the days of the Emperor Paul [15]. At this +moment the clock uttered its usual hissing sound, and struck ten, while +a woman’s face peered in at the door, but at once withdrew, for the +reason that, with the object of sleeping as well as possible, Chichikov +had removed every stitch of his clothing. Somehow the face seemed to him +familiar, and he set himself to recall whose it could be. At length he +recollected that it was the face of his hostess. His clothes he found +lying, clean and dry, beside him; so he dressed and approached the +mirror, meanwhile sneezing again with such vehemence that a cock which +happened at the moment to be near the window (which was situated at no +great distance from the ground) chuckled a short, sharp phrase. Probably +it meant, in the bird’s alien tongue, “Good morning to you!” Chichikov +retorted by calling the bird a fool, and then himself approached the +window to look at the view. It appeared to comprise a poulterer’s +premises. At all events, the narrow yard in front of the window was full +of poultry and other domestic creatures--of game fowls and barn door +fowls, with, among them, a cock which strutted with measured gait, and +kept shaking its comb, and tilting its head as though it were trying to +listen to something. Also, a sow and her family were helping to grace +the scene. First, she rooted among a heap of litter; then, in passing, +she ate up a young pullet; lastly, she proceeded carelessly to munch +some pieces of melon rind. To this small yard or poultry-run a length +of planking served as a fence, while beyond it lay a kitchen garden +containing cabbages, onions, potatoes, beetroots, and other household +vegetables. Also, the garden contained a few stray fruit trees that +were covered with netting to protect them from the magpies and sparrows; +flocks of which were even then wheeling and darting from one spot to +another. For the same reason a number of scarecrows with outstretched +arms stood reared on long poles, with, surmounting one of the figures, +a cast-off cap of the hostess’s. Beyond the garden again there stood a +number of peasants’ huts. Though scattered, instead of being arranged in +regular rows, these appeared to Chichikov’s eye to comprise well-to-do +inhabitants, since all rotten planks in their roofing had been replaced +with new ones, and none of their doors were askew, and such of their +tiltsheds as faced him evinced evidence of a presence of a spare +waggon--in some cases almost a new one. + +“This lady owns by no means a poor village,” said Chichikov to himself; +wherefore he decided then and there to have a talk with his hostess, and +to cultivate her closer acquaintance. Accordingly he peeped through the +chink of the door whence her head had recently protruded, and, on seeing +her seated at a tea table, entered and greeted her with a cheerful, +kindly smile. + +“Good morning, dear sir,” she responded as she rose. “How have you +slept?” She was dressed in better style than she had been on the +previous evening. That is to say, she was now wearing a gown of some +dark colour, and lacked her nightcap, and had swathed her neck in +something stiff. + +“I have slept exceedingly well,” replied Chichikov, seating himself upon +a chair. “And how are YOU, good madam?” + +“But poorly, my dear sir.” + +“And why so?” + +“Because I cannot sleep. A pain has taken me in my middle, and my legs, +from the ankles upwards, are aching as though they were broken.” + +“That will pass, that will pass, good mother. You must pay no attention +to it.” + +“God grant that it MAY pass. However, I have been rubbing myself with +lard and turpentine. What sort of tea will you take? In this jar I have +some of the scented kind.” + +“Excellent, good mother! Then I will take that.” + +Probably the reader will have noticed that, for all his expressions of +solicitude, Chichikov’s tone towards his hostess partook of a freer, a +more unceremonious, nature than that which he had adopted towards Madam +Manilov. And here I should like to assert that, howsoever much, in +certain respects, we Russians may be surpassed by foreigners, at least +we surpass them in adroitness of manner. In fact the various shades and +subtleties of our social intercourse defy enumeration. A Frenchman or +a German would be incapable of envisaging and understanding all its +peculiarities and differences, for his tone in speaking to a millionaire +differs but little from that which he employs towards a small +tobacconist--and that in spite of the circumstance that he is accustomed +to cringe before the former. With us, however, things are different. In +Russian society there exist clever folk who can speak in one manner to +a landowner possessed of two hundred peasant souls, and in another to +a landowner possessed of three hundred, and in another to a landowner +possessed of five hundred. In short, up to the number of a million +souls the Russian will have ready for each landowner a suitable mode of +address. For example, suppose that somewhere there exists a government +office, and that in that office there exists a director. I would beg of +you to contemplate him as he sits among his myrmidons. Sheer nervousness +will prevent you from uttering a word in his presence, so great are the +pride and superiority depicted on his countenance. Also, were you to +sketch him, you would be sketching a veritable Prometheus, for his +glance is as that of an eagle, and he walks with measured, stately +stride. Yet no sooner will the eagle have left the room to seek the +study of his superior officer than he will go scurrying along (papers +held close to his nose) like any partridge. But in society, and at the +evening party (should the rest of those present be of lesser rank than +himself) the Prometheus will once more become Prometheus, and the man +who stands a step below him will treat him in a way never dreamt of by +Ovid, seeing that each fly is of lesser account than its superior fly, +and becomes, in the presence of the latter, even as a grain of sand. +“Surely that is not Ivan Petrovitch?” you will say of such and such a +man as you regard him. “Ivan Petrovitch is tall, whereas this man is +small and spare. Ivan Petrovitch has a loud, deep voice, and never +smiles, whereas this man (whoever he may be) is twittering like a +sparrow, and smiling all the time.” Yet approach and take a good look at +the fellow and you will see that is IS Ivan Petrovitch. “Alack, alack!” + will be the only remark you can make. + +Let us return to our characters in real life. We have seen that, on this +occasion, Chichikov decided to dispense with ceremony; wherefore, taking +up the teapot, he went on as follows: + +“You have a nice little village here, madam. How many souls does it +contain?” + +“A little less than eighty, dear sir. But the times are hard, and I have +lost a great deal through last year’s harvest having proved a failure.” + +“But your peasants look fine, strong fellows. May I enquire your name? +Through arriving so late at night I have quite lost my wits.” + +“Korobotchka, the widow of a Collegiate Secretary.” + +“I humbly thank you. And your Christian name and patronymic?” + +“Nastasia Petrovna.” + +“Nastasia Petrovna! Those are excellent names. I have a maternal aunt +named like yourself.” + +“And YOUR name?” queried the lady. “May I take it that you are a +Government Assessor?” + +“No, madam,” replied Chichikov with a smile. “I am not an Assessor, but +a traveller on private business.” + +“Then you must be a buyer of produce? How I regret that I have sold my +honey so cheaply to other buyers! Otherwise YOU might have bought it, +dear sir.” + +“I never buy honey.” + +“Then WHAT do you buy, pray? Hemp? I have a little of that by me, but +not more than half a pood [16] or so.” + +“No, madam. It is in other wares that I deal. Tell me, have you, of late +years, lost many of your peasants by death?” + +“Yes; no fewer than eighteen,” responded the old lady with a sigh. “Such +a fine lot, too--all good workers! True, others have since grown up, +but of what use are THEY? Mere striplings. When the Assessor last called +upon me I could have wept; for, though those workmen of mine are dead, +I have to keep on paying for them as though they were still alive! And +only last week my blacksmith got burnt to death! Such a clever hand at +his trade he was!” + +“What? A fire occurred at your place?” + +“No, no, God preserve us all! It was not so bad as that. You must +understand that the blacksmith SET HIMSELF on fire--he got set on fire +in his bowels through overdrinking. Yes, all of a sudden there burst +from him a blue flame, and he smouldered and smouldered until he had +turned as black as a piece of charcoal! Yet what a clever blacksmith he +was! And now I have no horses to drive out with, for there is no one to +shoe them.” + +“In everything the will of God, madam,” said Chichikov with a sigh. +“Against the divine wisdom it is not for us to rebel. Pray hand them +over to me, Nastasia Petrovna.” + +“Hand over whom?” + +“The dead peasants.” + +“But how could I do that?” + +“Quite simply. Sell them to me, and I will give you some money in +exchange.” + +“But how am I to sell them to you? I scarcely understand what you mean. +Am I to dig them up again from the ground?” + +Chichikov perceived that the old lady was altogether at sea, and that he +must explain the matter; wherefore in a few words he informed her that +the transfer or purchase of the souls in question would take place +merely on paper--that the said souls would be listed as still alive. + +“And what good would they be to you?” asked his hostess, staring at him +with her eyes distended. + +“That is MY affair.” + +“But they are DEAD souls.” + +“Who said they were not? The mere fact of their being dead entails upon +you a loss as dead as the souls, for you have to continue paying tax +upon them, whereas MY plan is to relieve you both of the tax and of the +resultant trouble. NOW do you understand? And I will not only do as +I say, but also hand you over fifteen roubles per soul. Is that clear +enough?” + +“Yes--but I do not know,” said his hostess diffidently. “You see, never +before have I sold dead souls.” + +“Quite so. It would be a surprising thing if you had. But surely you do +not think that these dead souls are in the least worth keeping?” + +“Oh, no, indeed! Why should they be worth keeping? I am sure they are +not so. The only thing which troubles me is the fact that they are +DEAD.” + +“She seems a truly obstinate old woman!” was Chichikov’s inward comment. +“Look here, madam,” he added aloud. “You reason well, but you are simply +ruining yourself by continuing to pay the tax upon dead souls as though +they were still alive.” + +“Oh, good sir, do not speak of it!” the lady exclaimed. “Three weeks ago +I took a hundred and fifty roubles to that Assessor, and buttered him +up, and--” + +“Then you see how it is, do you not? Remember that, according to my +plan, you will never again have to butter up the Assessor, seeing that +it will be I who will be paying for those peasants--_I_, not YOU, for I +shall have taken over the dues upon them, and have transferred them to +myself as so many bona fide serfs. Do you understand AT LAST?” + +However, the old lady still communed with herself. She could see that +the transaction would be to her advantage, yet it was one of such a +novel and unprecedented nature that she was beginning to fear lest this +purchaser of souls intended to cheat her. Certainly he had come from God +only knew where, and at the dead of night, too! + +“But, sir, I have never in my life sold dead folk--only living ones. +Three years ago I transferred two wenches to Protopopov for a hundred +roubles apiece, and he thanked me kindly, for they turned out splendid +workers--able to make napkins or anything else. + +“Yes, but with the living we have nothing to do, damn it! I am asking +you only about DEAD folk.” + +“Yes, yes, of course. But at first sight I felt afraid lest I should be +incurring a loss--lest you should be wishing to outwit me, good sir. +You see, the dead souls are worth rather more than you have offered for +them.” + +“See here, madam. (What a woman it is!) HOW could they be worth more? +Think for yourself. They are so much loss to you--so much loss, do you +understand? Take any worthless, rubbishy article you like--a piece of +old rag, for example. That rag will yet fetch its price, for it can be +bought for paper-making. But these dead souls are good for NOTHING AT +ALL. Can you name anything that they ARE good for?” + +“True, true--they ARE good for nothing. But what troubles me is the fact +that they are dead.” + +“What a blockhead of a creature!” said Chichikov to himself, for he was +beginning to lose patience. “Bless her heart, I may as well be going. +She has thrown me into a perfect sweat, the cursed old shrew!” + +He took a handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped the perspiration from +his brow. Yet he need not have flown into such a passion. More than one +respected statesman reveals himself, when confronted with a business +matter, to be just such another as Madam Korobotchka, in that, once he +has got an idea into his head, there is no getting it out of him--you +may ply him with daylight-clear arguments, yet they will rebound +from his brain as an india-rubber ball rebounds from a flagstone. +Nevertheless, wiping away the perspiration, Chichikov resolved to try +whether he could not bring her back to the road by another path. + +“Madam,” he said, “either you are declining to understand what I say or +you are talking for the mere sake of talking. If I hand you over some +money--fifteen roubles for each soul, do you understand?--it is MONEY, +not something which can be picked up haphazard on the street. For +instance, tell me how much you sold your honey for?” + +“For twelve roubles per pood.” + +“Ah! Then by those words, madam, you have laid a trifling sin upon your +soul; for you did NOT sell the honey for twelve roubles.” + +“By the Lord God I did!” + +“Well, well! Never mind. Honey is only honey. Now, you had collected +that stuff, it may be, for a year, and with infinite care and labour. +You had fussed after it, you had trotted to and fro, you had duly frozen +out the bees, and you had fed them in the cellar throughout the winter. +But these dead souls of which I speak are quite another matter, for in +this case you have put forth no exertions--it was merely God’s will that +they should leave the world, and thus decrease the personnel of your +establishment. In the former case you received (so you allege) twelve +roubles per pood for your labour; but in this case you will receive +money for having done nothing at all. Nor will you receive twelve +roubles per item, but FIFTEEN--and roubles not in silver, but roubles in +good paper currency.” + +That these powerful inducements would certainly cause the old woman to +yield Chichikov had not a doubt. + +“True,” his hostess replied. “But how strangely business comes to me as +a widow! Perhaps I had better wait a little longer, seeing that other +buyers might come along, and I might be able to compare prices.” + +“For shame, madam! For shame! Think what you are saying. Who else, I +would ask, would care to buy those souls? What use could they be to any +one?” + +“If that is so, they might come in useful to ME,” mused the old woman +aloud; after which she sat staring at Chichikov with her mouth open and +a face of nervous expectancy as to his possible rejoinder. + +“Dead folk useful in a household!” he exclaimed. “Why, what could you do +with them? Set them up on poles to frighten away the sparrows from your +garden?” + +“The Lord save us, but what things you say!” she ejaculated, crossing +herself. + +“Well, WHAT could you do with them? By this time they are so much bones +and earth. That is all there is left of them. Their transfer to myself +would be ON PAPER only. Come, come! At least give me an answer.” + +Again the old woman communed with herself. + +“What are you thinking of, Nastasia Petrovna?” inquired Chichikov. + +“I am thinking that I scarcely know what to do. Perhaps I had better +sell you some hemp?” + +“What do I want with hemp? Pardon me, but just when I have made to you +a different proposal altogether you begin fussing about hemp! Hemp is +hemp, and though I may want some when I NEXT visit you, I should like to +know what you have to say to the suggestion under discussion.” + +“Well, I think it a very queer bargain. Never have I heard of such a +thing.” + +Upon this Chichikov lost all patience, upset his chair, and bid her go +to the devil; of which personage even the mere mention terrified her +extremely. + +“Do not speak of him, I beg of you!” she cried, turning pale. “May God, +rather, bless him! Last night was the third night that he has appeared +to me in a dream. You see, after saying my prayers, I bethought me +of telling my fortune by the cards; and God must have sent him as a +punishment. He looked so horrible, and had horns longer than a bull’s!” + +“I wonder you don’t see SCORES of devils in your dreams! Merely out of +Christian charity he had come to you to say, ‘I perceive a poor widow +going to rack and ruin, and likely soon to stand in danger of want.’ +Well, go to rack and ruin--yes, you and all your village together!” + +“The insults!” exclaimed the old woman, glancing at her visitor in +terror. + +“I should think so!” continued Chichikov. “Indeed, I cannot find words +to describe you. To say no more about it, you are like a dog in a +manger. You don’t want to eat the hay yourself, yet you won’t let +anyone else touch it. All that I am seeking to do is to purchase +certain domestic products of yours, for the reason that I have certain +Government contracts to fulfil.” This last he added in passing, and +without any ulterior motive, save that it came to him as a happy +thought. Nevertheless the mention of Government contracts exercised a +powerful influence upon Nastasia Petrovna, and she hastened to say in a +tone that was almost supplicatory: + +“Why should you be so angry with me? Had I known that you were going to +lose your temper in this way, I should never have discussed the matter.” + +“No wonder that I lose my temper! An egg too many is no great matter, +yet it may prove exceedingly annoying.” + +“Well, well, I will let you have the souls for fifteen roubles each. +Also, with regard to those contracts, do not forget me if at any time +you should find yourself in need of rye-meal or buckwheat or groats or +dead meat.” + +“No, I shall NEVER forget you, madam!” he said, wiping his forehead, +where three separate streams of perspiration were trickling down his +face. Then he asked her whether in the town she had any acquaintance or +agent whom she could empower to complete the transference of the serfs, +and to carry out whatsoever else might be necessary. + +“Certainly,” replied Madame Korobotchka. “The son of our archpriest, +Father Cyril, himself is a lawyer.” + +Upon that Chichikov begged her to accord the gentleman in question a +power of attorney, while, to save extra trouble, he himself would then +and there compose the requisite letter. + +“It would be a fine thing if he were to buy up all my meal and stock +for the Government,” thought Madame to herself. “I must encourage him a +little. There has been some dough standing ready since last night, so I +will go and tell Fetinia to try a few pancakes. Also, it might be well +to try him with an egg pie. We make then nicely here, and they do not +take long in the making.” + +So she departed to translate her thoughts into action, as well as to +supplement the pie with other products of the domestic cuisine; while, +for his part, Chichikov returned to the drawing-room where he had spent +the night, in order to procure from his dispatch-box the necessary +writing-paper. The room had now been set in order, the sumptuous +feather bed removed, and a table set before the sofa. Depositing his +dispatch-box upon the table, he heaved a gentle sigh on becoming aware +that he was so soaked with perspiration that he might almost have +been dipped in a river. Everything, from his shirt to his socks, +was dripping. “May she starve to death, the cursed old harridan!” he +ejaculated after a moment’s rest. Then he opened his dispatch-box. In +passing, I may say that I feel certain that at least SOME of my readers +will be curious to know the contents and the internal arrangements of +that receptacle. Why should I not gratify their curiosity? To begin +with, the centre of the box contained a soap-dish, with, disposed around +it, six or seven compartments for razors. Next came square partitions +for a sand-box [17] and an inkstand, as well as (scooped out in their +midst) a hollow of pens, sealing-wax, and anything else that required +more room. Lastly there were all sorts of little divisions, both with +and without lids, for articles of a smaller nature, such as visiting +cards, memorial cards, theatre tickets, and things which Chichikov had +laid by as souvenirs. This portion of the box could be taken out, and +below it were both a space for manuscripts and a secret money-box--the +latter made to draw out from the side of the receptacle. + +Chichikov set to work to clean a pen, and then to write. Presently his +hostess entered the room. + +“What a beautiful box you have got, my dear sir!” she exclaimed as she +took a seat beside him. “Probably you bought it in Moscow?” + +“Yes--in Moscow,” replied Chichikov without interrupting his writing. + +“I thought so. One CAN get good things there. Three years ago my sister +brought me a few pairs of warm shoes for my sons, and they were such +excellent articles! To this day my boys wear them. And what nice stamped +paper you have!” (she had peered into the dispatch-box, where, sure +enough, there lay a further store of the paper in question). “Would you +mind letting me have a sheet of it? I am without any at all, although I +shall soon have to be presenting a plea to the land court, and possess +not a morsel of paper to write it on.” + +Upon this Chichikov explained that the paper was not the sort proper +for the purpose--that it was meant for serf-indenturing, and not for +the framing of pleas. Nevertheless, to quiet her, he gave her a sheet +stamped to the value of a rouble. Next, he handed her the letter to +sign, and requested, in return, a list of her peasants. Unfortunately, +such a list had never been compiled, let alone any copies of it, and the +only way in which she knew the peasants’ names was by heart. However, he +told her to dictate them. Some of the names greatly astonished our hero, +so, still more, did the surnames. Indeed, frequently, on hearing the +latter, he had to pause before writing them down. Especially did he halt +before a certain “Peter Saveliev Neuvazhai Korito.” “What a string of +titles!” involuntarily he ejaculated. To the Christian name of another +serf was appended “Korovi Kirpitch,” and to that of a third “Koleso +Ivan.” However, at length the list was compiled, and he caught a deep +breath; which latter proceeding caused him to catch also the attractive +odour of something fried in fat. + +“I beseech you to have a morsel,” murmured his hostess. Chichikov looked +up, and saw that the table was spread with mushrooms, pies, and other +viands. + +“Try this freshly-made pie and an egg,” continued Madame. + +Chichikov did so, and having eaten more than half of what she offered +him, praised the pie highly. Indeed, it was a toothsome dish, and, after +his difficulties and exertions with his hostess, it tasted even better +than it might otherwise have done. + +“And also a few pancakes?” suggested Madame. + +For answer Chichikov folded three together, and, having dipped them in +melted butter, consigned the lot to his mouth, and then wiped his +mouth with a napkin. Twice more was the process repeated, and then +he requested his hostess to order the britchka to be got ready. In +dispatching Fetinia with the necessary instructions, she ordered her to +return with a second batch of hot pancakes. + +“Your pancakes are indeed splendid,” said Chichikov, applying himself to +the second consignment of fried dainties when they had arrived. + +“Yes, we make them well here,” replied Madame. “Yet how unfortunate it +is that the harvest should have proved so poor as to have prevented me +from earning anything on my--But why should you be in such a hurry to +depart, good sir?” She broke off on seeing Chichikov reach for his cap. +“The britchka is not yet ready.” + +“Then it is being got so, madam, it is being got so, and I shall need a +moment or two to pack my things.” + +“As you please, dear sir; but do not forget me in connection with those +Government contracts.” + +“No, I have said that NEVER shall I forget you,” replied Chichikov as he +hurried into the hall. + +“And would you like to buy some lard?” continued his hostess, pursuing +him. + +“Lard? Oh certainly. Why not? Only, only--I will do so ANOTHER time.” + +“I shall have some ready at about Christmas.” + +“Quite so, madam. THEN I will buy anything and everything--the lard +included.” + +“And perhaps you will be wanting also some feathers? I shall be having +some for sale about St. Philip’s Day.” + +“Very well, very well, madam.” + +“There you see!” she remarked as they stepped out on to the verandah. +“The britchka is NOT yet ready.” + +“But it soon will be, it soon will be. Only direct me to the main road.” + +“How am I to do that?” said Madame. “‘Twould puzzle a wise man to do so, +for in these parts there are so many turnings. However, I will send a +girl to guide you. You could find room for her on the box-seat, could +you not?” + +“Yes, of course.” + +“Then I will send her. She knows the way thoroughly. Only do not carry +her off for good. Already some traders have deprived me of one of my +girls.” + +Chichikov reassured his hostess on the point, and Madame plucked up +courage enough to scan, first of all, the housekeeper, who happened to +be issuing from the storehouse with a bowl of honey, and, next, a +young peasant who happened to be standing at the gates; and, while thus +engaged, she became wholly absorbed in her domestic pursuits. But +why pay her so much attention? The Widow Korobotchka, Madame Manilov, +domestic life, non-domestic life--away with them all! How strangely are +things compounded! In a trice may joy turn to sorrow, should one halt +long enough over it: in a trice only God can say what ideas may strike +one. You may fall even to thinking: “After all, did Madame Korobotchka +stand so very low in the scale of human perfection? Was there really +such a very great gulf between her and Madame Manilov--between her and +the Madame Manilov whom we have seen entrenched behind the walls of a +genteel mansion in which there were a fine staircase of wrought metal +and a number of rich carpets; the Madame Manilov who spent most of her +time in yawning behind half-read books, and in hoping for a visit from +some socially distinguished person in order that she might display her +wit and carefully rehearsed thoughts--thoughts which had been de rigueur +in town for a week past, yet which referred, not to what was going on +in her household or on her estate--both of which properties were at odds +and ends, owing to her ignorance of the art of managing them--but to +the coming political revolution in France and the direction in which +fashionable Catholicism was supposed to be moving? But away with such +things! Why need we speak of them? Yet how comes it that suddenly into +the midst of our careless, frivolous, unthinking moments there may enter +another, and a very different, tendency?--that the smile may not have +left a human face before its owner will have radically changed his or +her nature (though not his or her environment) with the result that +the face will suddenly become lit with a radiance never before seen +there?... + +“Here is the britchka, here is the britchka!” exclaimed Chichikov on +perceiving that vehicle slowly advancing. “Ah, you blockhead!” he +went on to Selifan. “Why have you been loitering about? I suppose last +night’s fumes have not yet left your brain?” + +To this Selifan returned no reply. + +“Good-bye, madam,” added the speaker. “But where is the girl whom you +promised me?” + +“Here, Pelagea!” called the hostess to a wench of about eleven who was +dressed in home-dyed garments and could boast of a pair of bare feet +which, from a distance, might almost have been mistaken for boots, so +encrusted were they with fresh mire. “Here, Pelagea! Come and show this +gentleman the way.” + +Selifan helped the girl to ascend to the box-seat. Placing one foot upon +the step by which the gentry mounted, she covered the said step with +mud, and then, ascending higher, attained the desired position beside +the coachman. Chichikov followed in her wake (causing the britchka to +heel over with his weight as he did so), and then settled himself back +into his place with an “All right! Good-bye, madam!” as the horses moved +away at a trot. + +Selifan looked gloomy as he drove, but also very attentive to his +business. This was invariably his custom when he had committed the fault +of getting drunk. Also, the horses looked unusually well-groomed. In +particular, the collar on one of them had been neatly mended, although +hitherto its state of dilapidation had been such as perennially to allow +the stuffing to protrude through the leather. The silence preserved was +well-nigh complete. Merely flourishing his whip, Selifan spoke to the +team no word of instruction, although the skewbald was as ready as usual +to listen to conversation of a didactic nature, seeing that at such +times the reins hung loosely in the hands of the loquacious driver, +and the whip wandered merely as a matter of form over the backs of the +troika. This time, however, there could be heard issuing from Selifan’s +sullen lips only the uniformly unpleasant exclamation, “Now then, you +brutes! Get on with you, get on with you!” The bay and the Assessor too +felt put out at not hearing themselves called “my pets” or “good lads”; +while, in addition, the skewbald came in for some nasty cuts across his +sleek and ample quarters. “What has put master out like this?” thought +the animal as it shook its head. “Heaven knows where he does not keep +beating me--across the back, and even where I am tenderer still. Yes, he +keeps catching the whip in my ears, and lashing me under the belly.” + +“To the right, eh?” snapped Selifan to the girl beside him as he pointed +to a rain-soaked road which trended away through fresh green fields. + +“No, no,” she replied. “I will show you the road when the time comes.” + +“Which way, then?” he asked again when they had proceeded a little +further. + +“This way.” And she pointed to the road just mentioned. + +“Get along with you!” retorted the coachman. “That DOES go to the right. +You don’t know your right hand from your left.” + +The weather was fine, but the ground so excessively sodden that the +wheels of the britchka collected mire until they had become caked as +with a layer of felt, a circumstance which greatly increased the weight +of the vehicle, and prevented it from clearing the neighbouring parishes +before the afternoon was arrived. Also, without the girl’s help the +finding of the way would have been impossible, since roads wiggled away +in every direction, like crabs released from a net, and, but for the +assistance mentioned, Selifan would have found himself left to his own +devices. Presently she pointed to a building ahead, with the words, +“THERE is the main road.” + +“And what is the building?” asked Selifan. + +“A tavern,” she said. + +“Then we can get along by ourselves,” he observed. “Do you get down, and +be off home.” + +With that he stopped, and helped her to alight--muttering as he did so: +“Ah, you blackfooted creature!” + +Chichikov added a copper groat, and she departed well pleased with her +ride in the gentleman’s carriage. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +On reaching the tavern, Chichikov called a halt. His reasons for this +were twofold--namely, that he wanted to rest the horses, and that he +himself desired some refreshment. In this connection the author feels +bound to confess that the appetite and the capacity of such men are +greatly to be envied. Of those well-to-do folk of St. Petersburg and +Moscow who spend their time in considering what they shall eat on the +morrow, and in composing a dinner for the day following, and who never +sit down to a meal without first of all injecting a pill and then +swallowing oysters and crabs and a quantity of other monsters, while +eternally departing for Karlsbad or the Caucasus, the author has but a +small opinion. Yes, THEY are not the persons to inspire envy. Rather, +it is the folk of the middle classes--folk who at one posthouse call for +bacon, and at another for a sucking pig, and at a third for a steak of +sturgeon or a baked pudding with onions, and who can sit down to table +at any hour, as though they had never had a meal in their lives, and +can devour fish of all sorts, and guzzle and chew it with a view +to provoking further appetite--these, I say, are the folk who enjoy +heaven’s most favoured gift. To attain such a celestial condition the +great folk of whom I have spoken would sacrifice half their serfs and +half their mortgaged and non-mortgaged property, with the foreign and +domestic improvements thereon, if thereby they could compass such +a stomach as is possessed by the folk of the middle class. But, +unfortunately, neither money nor real estate, whether improved or +non-improved, can purchase such a stomach. + +The little wooden tavern, with its narrow, but hospitable, curtain +suspended from a pair of rough-hewn doorposts like old church +candlesticks, seemed to invite Chichikov to enter. True, the +establishment was only a Russian hut of the ordinary type, but it was +a hut of larger dimensions than usual, and had around its windows and +gables carved and patterned cornices of bright-coloured wood which threw +into relief the darker hue of the walls, and consorted well with the +flowered pitchers painted on the shutters. + +Ascending the narrow wooden staircase to the upper floor, and arriving +upon a broad landing, Chichikov found himself confronted with a creaking +door and a stout old woman in a striped print gown. “This way, if you +please,” she said. Within the apartment designated Chichikov +encountered the old friends which one invariably finds in such roadside +hostelries--to wit, a heavy samovar, four smooth, bescratched walls of +white pine, a three-cornered press with cups and teapots, egg-cups +of gilded china standing in front of ikons suspended by blue and red +ribands, a cat lately delivered of a family, a mirror which gives one +four eyes instead of two and a pancake for a face, and, beside the +ikons, some bunches of herbs and carnations of such faded dustiness +that, should one attempt to smell them, one is bound to burst out +sneezing. + +“Have you a sucking-pig?” Chichikov inquired of the landlady as she +stood expectantly before him. + +“Yes.” + +“And some horse-radish and sour cream?” + +“Yes.” + +“Then serve them.” + +The landlady departed for the purpose, and returned with a plate, a +napkin (the latter starched to the consistency of dried bark), a knife +with a bone handle beginning to turn yellow, a two-pronged fork as thin +as a wafer, and a salt-cellar incapable of being made to stand upright. + +Following the accepted custom, our hero entered into conversation with +the woman, and inquired whether she herself or a landlord kept the +tavern; how much income the tavern brought in; whether her sons lived +with her; whether the oldest was a bachelor or married; whom the +eldest had taken to wife; whether the dowry had been large; whether the +father-in-law had been satisfied, and whether the said father-in-law +had not complained of receiving too small a present at the wedding. +In short, Chichikov touched on every conceivable point. Likewise +(of course) he displayed some curiosity as to the landowners of the +neighbourhood. Their names, he ascertained, were Blochin, Potchitaev, +Minoi, Cheprakov, and Sobakevitch. + +“Then you are acquainted with Sobakevitch?” he said; whereupon the old +woman informed him that she knew not only Sobakevitch, but also Manilov, +and that the latter was the more delicate eater of the two, since, +whereas Manilov always ordered a roast fowl and some veal and mutton, +and then tasted merely a morsel of each, Sobakevitch would order one +dish only, but consume the whole of it, and then demand more at the same +price. + +Whilst Chichikov was thus conversing and partaking of the sucking pig +until only a fragment of it seemed likely to remain, the sound of an +approaching vehicle made itself heard. Peering through the window, he +saw draw up to the tavern door a light britchka drawn by three fine +horses. From it there descended two men--one flaxen-haired and tall, and +the other dark-haired and of slighter build. While the flaxen-haired +man was clad in a dark-blue coat, the other one was wrapped in a coat +of striped pattern. Behind the britchka stood a second, but an empty, +turn-out, drawn by four long-coated steeds in ragged collars and +rope harnesses. The flaxen-haired man lost no time in ascending the +staircase, while his darker friend remained below to fumble at something +in the britchka, talking, as he did so, to the driver of the vehicle +which stood hitched behind. Somehow, the dark-haired man’s voice struck +Chichikov as familiar; and as he was taking another look at him the +flaxen-haired gentleman entered the room. The newcomer was a man of +lofty stature, with a small red moustache and a lean, hard-bitten face +whose redness made it evident that its acquaintance, if not with the +smoke of gunpowder, at all events with that of tobacco, was intimate +and extensive. Nevertheless he greeted Chichikov civilly, and the latter +returned his bow. Indeed, the pair would have entered into conversation, +and have made one another’s acquaintance (since a beginning was made +with their simultaneously expressing satisfaction at the circumstance +that the previous night’s rain had laid the dust on the roads, +and thereby made driving cool and pleasant) when the gentleman’s +darker-favoured friend also entered the room, and, throwing his cap upon +the table, pushed back a mass of dishevelled black locks from his brow. +The latest arrival was a man of medium height, but well put together, +and possessed of a pair of full red cheeks, a set of teeth as white as +snow, and coal-black whiskers. Indeed, so fresh was his complexion that +it seemed to have been compounded of blood and milk, while health danced +in his every feature. + +“Ha, ha, ha!” he cried with a gesture of astonishment at the sight of +Chichikov. “What chance brings YOU here?” + +Upon that Chichikov recognised Nozdrev--the man whom he had met at +dinner at the Public Prosecutor’s, and who, within a minute or two of +the introduction, had become so intimate with his fellow guest as to +address him in the second person singular, in spite of the fact that +Chichikov had given him no opportunity for doing so. + +“Where have you been to-day?” Nozdrev inquired, and, without waiting for +an answer, went on: “For myself, I am just from the fair, and completely +cleaned out. Actually, I have had to do the journey back with stage +horses! Look out of the window, and see them for yourself.” And he +turned Chichikov’s head so sharply in the desired direction that he came +very near to bumping it against the window frame. “Did you ever see such +a bag of tricks? The cursed things have only just managed to get here. +In fact, on the way I had to transfer myself to this fellow’s britchka.” + He indicated his companion with a finger. “By the way, don’t you know +one another? He is Mizhuev, my brother-in-law. He and I were talking of +you only this morning. ‘Just you see,’ said I to him, ‘if we do not fall +in with Chichikov before we have done.’ Heavens, how completely cleaned +out I am! Not only have I lost four good horses, but also my watch and +chain.” Chichikov perceived that in very truth his interlocutor was +minus the articles named, as well as that one of Nozdrev’s whiskers was +less bushy in appearance than the other one. “Had I had another twenty +roubles in my pocket,” went on Nozdrev, “I should have won back all that +I have lost, as well as have pouched a further thirty thousand. Yes, I +give you my word of honour on that.” + +“But you were saying the same thing when last I met you,” put in the +flaxen-haired man. “Yet, even though I lent you fifty roubles, you lost +them all.” + +“But I should not have lost them THIS time. Don’t try to make me out +a fool. I should NOT have lost them, I tell you. Had I only played the +right card, I should have broken the bank.” + +“But you did NOT break the bank,” remarked the flaxen-haired man. + +“No. That was because I did not play my cards right. But what about your +precious major’s play? Is THAT good?” + +“Good or not, at least he beat you.” + +“Splendid of him! Nevertheless I will get my own back. Let him play me +at doubles, and we shall soon see what sort of a player he is! +Friend Chichikov, at first we had a glorious time, for the fair was a +tremendous success. Indeed, the tradesmen said that never yet had there +been such a gathering. I myself managed to sell everything from my +estate at a good price. In fact, we had a magnificent time. I can’t help +thinking of it, devil take me! But what a pity YOU were not there! Three +versts from the town there is quartered a regiment of dragoons, and you +would scarcely believe what a lot of officers it has. Forty at least +there are, and they do a fine lot of knocking about the town and +drinking. In particular, Staff-Captain Potsieluev is a SPLENDID fellow! +You should just see his moustache! Why, he calls good claret ‘trash’! +‘Bring me some of the usual trash,’ is his way of ordering it. And +Lieutenant Kuvshinnikov, too! He is as delightful as the other man. In +fact, I may say that every one of the lot is a rake. I spent my whole +time with them, and you can imagine that Ponomarev, the wine merchant, +did a fine trade indeed! All the same, he is a rascal, you know, and +ought not to be dealt with, for he puts all sorts of rubbish into his +liquor--Indian wood and burnt cork and elderberry juice, the villain! +Nevertheless, get him to produce a bottle from what he calls his +‘special cellar,’ and you will fancy yourself in the seventh heaven of +delight. And what quantities of champagne we drank! Compared with it, +provincial stuff is kvass [18]. Try to imagine not merely Clicquot, but +a sort of blend of Clicquot and Matradura--Clicquot of double strength. +Also Ponomarev produced a bottle of French stuff which he calls +‘Bonbon.’ Had it a bouquet, ask you? Why, it had the bouquet of a rose +garden, of anything else you like. What times we had, to be sure! Just +after we had left Pnomarev’s place, some prince or another arrived in +the town, and sent out for some champagne; but not a bottle was there +left, for the officers had drunk every one! Why, I myself got through +seventeen bottles at a sitting.” + +“Come, come! You CAN’T have got through seventeen,” remarked the +flaxen-haired man. + +“But I did, I give my word of honour,” retorted Nozdrev. + +“Imagine what you like, but you didn’t drink even TEN bottles at a +sitting.” + +“Will you bet that I did not?” + +“No; for what would be the use of betting about it?” + +“Then at least wager the gun which you have bought.” + +“No, I am not going to do anything of the kind.” + +“Just as an experiment?” + +“No.” + +“It is as well for you that you don’t, since, otherwise, you would have +found yourself minus both gun and cap. However, friend Chichikov, it +is a pity you were not there. Had you been there, I feel sure you would +have found yourself unable to part with Lieutenant Kuvshinnikov. You and +he would have hit it off splendidly. You know, he is quite a +different sort from the Public Prosecutor and our other provincial +skinflints--fellows who shiver in their shoes before they will spend a +single kopeck. HE will play faro, or anything else, and at any time. +Why did you not come with us, instead of wasting your time on cattle +breeding or something of the sort? But never mind. Embrace me. I like +you immensely. Mizhuev, see how curiously things have turned out. +Chichikov has nothing to do with me, or I with him, yet here is he come +from God knows where, and landed in the very spot where I happen to be +living! I may tell you that, no matter how many carriages I possessed, I +should gamble the lot away. Recently I went in for a turn at billiards, +and lost two jars of pomade, a china teapot, and a guitar. Then I staked +some more things, and, like a fool, lost them all, and six roubles in +addition. What a dog is that Kuvshinnikov! He and I attended nearly +every ball in the place. In particular, there was a woman--decolletee, +and such a swell! I merely thought to myself, ‘The devil take her!’ but +Kuvshinnikov is such a wag that he sat down beside her, and began paying +her strings of compliments in French. However, I did not neglect the +damsels altogether--although HE calls that sort of thing ‘going in for +strawberries.’ By the way, I have a splendid piece of fish and some +caviare with me. ’Tis all I HAVE brought back! In fact it is a lucky +chance that I happened to buy the stuff before my money was gone. Where +are you for?” + +“I am about to call on a friend.” + +“On what friend? Let him go to the devil, and come to my place instead.” + +“I cannot, I cannot. I have business to do.” + +“Oh, business again! I thought so!” + +“But I HAVE business to do--and pressing business at that.” + +“I wager that you’re lying. If not, tell me whom you’re going to call +upon.” + +“Upon Sobakevitch.” + +Instantly Nozdrev burst into a laugh compassable only by a healthy man +in whose head every tooth still remains as white as sugar. By this I +mean the laugh of quivering cheeks, the laugh which causes a neighbour +who is sleeping behind double doors three rooms away to leap from his +bed and exclaim with distended eyes, “Hullo! Something HAS upset him!” + +“What is there to laugh at?” asked Chichikov, a trifle nettled; but +Nozdrev laughed more unrestrainedly than ever, ejaculating: “Oh, spare +us all! The thing is so amusing that I shall die of it!” + +“I say that there is nothing to laugh at,” repeated Chichikov. “It is in +fulfilment of a promise that I am on my way to Sobakevitch’s.” + +“Then you will scarcely be glad to be alive when you’ve got there, for +he is the veriest miser in the countryside. Oh, _I_ know you. However, +if you think to find there either faro or a bottle of ‘Bonbon’ you are +mistaken. Look here, my good friend. Let Sobakevitch go to the devil, +and come to MY place, where at least I shall have a piece of sturgeon +to offer you for dinner. Ponomarev said to me on parting: ‘This piece is +just the thing for you. Even if you were to search the whole market, you +would never find a better one.’ But of course he is a terrible rogue. +I said to him outright: ‘You and the Collector of Taxes are the two +greatest skinflints in the town.’ But he only stroked his beard +and smiled. Every day I used to breakfast with Kuvshinnikov in his +restaurant. Well, what I was nearly forgetting is this: that, though I +am aware that you can’t forgo your engagement, I am not going to give +you up--no, not for ten thousand roubles of money. I tell you that in +advance.” + +Here he broke off to run to the window and shout to his servant (who was +holding a knife in one hand and a crust of bread and a piece of sturgeon +in the other--he had contrived to filch the latter while fumbling in the +britchka for something else): + +“Hi, Porphyri! Bring here that puppy, you rascal! What a puppy it is! +Unfortunately that thief of a landlord has given it nothing to eat, even +though I have promised him the roan filly which, as you may remember, I +swopped from Khvostirev.” As a matter of fact, Chichikov had never in +his life seen either Khvostirev or the roan filly. + +“Barin, do you wish for anything to eat?” inquired the landlady as she +entered. + +“No, nothing at all. Ah, friend Chichikov, what times we had! Yes, give +me a glass of vodka, old woman. What sort do you keep?” + +“Aniseed.” + +“Then bring me a glass of it,” repeated Nozdrev. + +“And one for me as well,” added the flaxen-haired man. + +“At the theatre,” went on Nozdrev, “there was an actress who sang like a +canary. Kuvshinnikov, who happened to be sitting with me, said: ‘My boy, +you had better go and gather that strawberry.’ As for the booths at the +fair, they numbered, I should say, fifty.” At this point he broke off +to take the glass of vodka from the landlady, who bowed low in +acknowledgement of his doing so. At the same moment Porphyri--a +fellow dressed like his master (that is to say, in a greasy, wadded +overcoat)--entered with the puppy. + +“Put the brute down here,” commanded Nozdrev, “and then fasten it up.” + +Porphyri deposited the animal upon the floor; whereupon it proceeded to +act after the manner of dogs. + +“THERE’S a puppy for you!” cried Nozdrev, catching hold of it by the +back, and lifting it up. The puppy uttered a piteous yelp. + +“I can see that you haven’t done what I told you to do,” he continued +to Porphyri after an inspection of the animal’s belly. “You have quite +forgotten to brush him.” + +“I DID brush him,” protested Porphyri. + +“Then where did these fleas come from?” + +“I cannot think. Perhaps they have leapt into his coat out of the +britchka.” + +“You liar! As a matter of fact, you have forgotten to brush him. +Nevertheless, look at these ears, Chichikov. Just feel them.” + +“Why should I? Without doing that, I can see that he is well-bred.” + +“Nevertheless, catch hold of his ears and feel them.” + +To humour the fellow Chichikov did as he had requested, remarking: “Yes, +he seems likely to turn out well.” + +“And feel the coldness of his nose! Just take it in your hand.” + +Not wishing to offend his interlocutor, Chichikov felt the puppy’s nose, +saying: “Some day he will have an excellent scent.” + +“Yes, will he not? ’Tis the right sort of muzzle for that. I must say +that I have long been wanting such a puppy. Porphyri, take him away +again.” + +Porphyri lifted up the puppy, and bore it downstairs. + +“Look here, Chichikov,” resumed Nozdrev. “You MUST come to my place. It +lies only five versts away, and we can go there like the wind, and you +can visit Sobakevitch afterwards.” + +“Shall I, or shall I not, go to Nozdrev’s?” reflected Chichikov. “Is he +likely to prove any more useful than the rest? Well, at least he is as +promising, even though he has lost so much at play. But he has a head on +his shoulders, and therefore I must go carefully if I am to tackle him +concerning my scheme.” + +With that he added aloud: “Very well, I WILL come with you, but do not +let us be long, for my time is very precious.” + +“That’s right, that’s right!” cried Nozdrev. “Splendid, splendid! Let me +embrace you!” And he fell upon Chichikov’s neck. “All three of us will +go.” + +“No, no,” put in the flaxen-haired man. “You must excuse me, for I must +be off home.” + +“Rubbish, rubbish! I am NOT going to excuse you.” + +“But my wife will be furious with me. You and Monsieur Chichikov must +change into the other britchka.” + +“Come, come! The thing is not to be thought of.” + +The flaxen-haired man was one of those people in whose character, at +first sight, there seems to lurk a certain grain of stubbornness--so +much so that, almost before one has begun to speak, they are ready to +dispute one’s words, and to disagree with anything that may be opposed +to their peculiar form of opinion. For instance, they will decline to +have folly called wisdom, or any tune danced to but their own. Always, +however, will there become manifest in their character a soft spot, and +in the end they will accept what hitherto they have denied, and call +what is foolish sensible, and even dance--yes, better than any one else +will do--to a tune set by some one else. In short, they generally begin +well, but always end badly. + +“Rubbish!” said Nozdrev in answer to a further objection on his +brother-in-law’s part. And, sure enough, no sooner had Nozdrev clapped +his cap upon his head than the flaxen-haired man started to follow him +and his companion. + +“But the gentleman has not paid for the vodka?” put in the old woman. + +“All right, all right, good mother. Look here, brother-in-law. Pay her, +will you, for I have not a kopeck left.” + +“How much?” inquired the brother-in-law. + +“What, sir? Eighty kopecks, if you please,” replied the old woman. + +“A lie! Give her half a rouble. That will be quite enough.” + +“No, it will NOT, barin,” protested the old woman. However, she took the +money gratefully, and even ran to the door to open it for the gentlemen. +As a matter of fact, she had lost nothing by the transaction, since she +had demanded fully a quarter more than the vodka was worth. + +The travellers then took their seats, and since Chichikov’s britchka +kept alongside the britchka wherein Nozdrev and his brother-in-law were +seated, it was possible for all three men to converse together as they +proceeded. Behind them came Nozdrev’s smaller buggy, with its team +of lean stage horses and Porphyri and the puppy. But inasmuch as the +conversation which the travellers maintained was not of a kind likely +to interest the reader, I might do worse than say something concerning +Nozdrev himself, seeing that he is destined to play no small role in our +story. + +Nozdrev’s face will be familiar to the reader, seeing that every one +must have encountered many such. Fellows of the kind are known as +“gay young sparks,” and, even in their boyhood and school days, earn a +reputation for being bons camarades (though with it all they come in for +some hard knocks) for the reason that their faces evince an element of +frankness, directness, and enterprise which enables them soon to make +friends, and, almost before you have had time to look around, to start +addressing you in the second person singular. Yet, while cementing such +friendships for all eternity, almost always they begin quarrelling the +same evening, since, throughout, they are a loquacious, dissipated, +high-spirited, over-showy tribe. Indeed, at thirty-five Nozdrev was just +what he had been an eighteen and twenty--he was just such a lover of +fast living. Nor had his marriage in any way changed him, and the less +so since his wife had soon departed to another world, and left behind +her two children, whom he did not want, and who were therefore placed +in the charge of a good-looking nursemaid. Never at any time could he +remain at home for more than a single day, for his keen scent could +range over scores and scores of versts, and detect any fair which +promised balls and crowds. Consequently in a trice he would be +there--quarrelling, and creating disturbances over the gaming-table +(like all men of his type, he had a perfect passion for cards) yet +playing neither a faultless nor an over-clean game, since he was both +a blunderer and able to indulge in a large number of illicit cuts and +other devices. The result was that the game often ended in another kind +of sport altogether. That is to say, either he received a good kicking, +or he had his thick and very handsome whiskers pulled; with the result +that on certain occasions he returned home with one of those appendages +looking decidedly ragged. Yet his plump, healthy-looking cheeks were +so robustly constituted, and contained such an abundance of recreative +vigour, that a new whisker soon sprouted in place of the old one, and +even surpassed its predecessor. Again (and the following is a phenomenon +peculiar to Russia) a very short time would have elapsed before once +more he would be consorting with the very cronies who had recently +cuffed him--and consorting with them as though nothing whatsoever had +happened--no reference to the subject being made by him, and they too +holding their tongues. + +In short, Nozdrev was, as it were, a man of incident. Never was he +present at any gathering without some sort of a fracas occurring +thereat. Either he would require to be expelled from the room by +gendarmes, or his friends would have to kick him out into the street. At +all events, should neither of those occurrences take place, at least he +did something of a nature which would not otherwise have been witnessed. +That is to say, should he not play the fool in a buffet to such an +extent as to make every one smile, you may be sure that he was engaged +in lying to a degree which at times abashed even himself. Moreover, the +man lied without reason. For instance, he would begin telling a story to +the effect that he possessed a blue-coated or a red-coated horse; until, +in the end, his listeners would be forced to leave him with the remark, +“You are giving us some fine stuff, old fellow!” Also, men like Nozdrev +have a passion for insulting their neighbours without the least excuse +afforded. (For that matter, even a man of good standing and of +respectable exterior--a man with a star on his breast--may unexpectedly +press your hand one day, and begin talking to you on subjects of a +nature to give food for serious thought. Yet just as unexpectedly may +that man start abusing you to your face--and do so in a manner worthy of +a collegiate registrar rather than of a man who wears a star on his +breast and aspires to converse on subjects which merit reflection. All +that one can do in such a case is to stand shrugging one’s shoulders in +amazement.) Well, Nozdrev had just such a weakness. The more he became +friendly with a man, the sooner would he insult him, and be ready to +spread calumnies as to his reputation. Yet all the while he would +consider himself the insulted one’s friend, and, should he meet him +again, would greet him in the most amicable style possible, and say, +“You rascal, why have you given up coming to see me.” Thus, taken all +round, Nozdrev was a person of many aspects and numerous potentialities. +In one and the same breath would he propose to go with you whithersoever +you might choose (even to the very ends of the world should you so +require) or to enter upon any sort of an enterprise with you, or to +exchange any commodity for any other commodity which you might care to +name. Guns, horses, dogs, all were subjects for barter--though not for +profit so far as YOU were concerned. Such traits are mostly the outcome +of a boisterous temperament, as is additionally exemplified by the fact +that if at a fair he chanced to fall in with a simpleton and to fleece +him, he would then proceed to buy a quantity of the very first articles +which came to hand--horse-collars, cigar-lighters, dresses for his +nursemaid, foals, raisins, silver ewers, lengths of holland, wheatmeal, +tobacco, revolvers, dried herrings, pictures, whetstones, crockery, +boots, and so forth, until every atom of his money was exhausted. Yet +seldom were these articles conveyed home, since, as a rule, the same day +saw them lost to some more skilful gambler, in addition to his pipe, his +tobacco-pouch, his mouthpiece, his four-horsed turn-out, and his +coachman: with the result that, stripped to his very shirt, he would be +forced to beg the loan of a vehicle from a friend. + +Such was Nozdrev. Some may say that characters of his type have become +extinct, that Nozdrevs no longer exist. Alas! such as say this will +be wrong; for many a day must pass before the Nozdrevs will have +disappeared from our ken. Everywhere they are to be seen in our +midst--the only difference between the new and the old being a +difference of garments. Persons of superficial observation are apt to +consider that a man clad in a different coat is quite a different person +from what he used to be. + +To continue. The three vehicles bowled up to the steps of Nozdrev’s +house, and their occupants alighted. But no preparations whatsoever had +been made for the guest’s reception, for on some wooden trestles in +the centre of the dining-room a couple of peasants were engaged in +whitewashing the ceiling and drawling out an endless song as they +splashed their stuff about the floor. Hastily bidding peasants and +trestles to be gone, Nozdrev departed to another room with further +instructions. Indeed, so audible was the sound of his voice as he +ordered dinner that Chichikov--who was beginning to feel hungry once +more--was enabled to gather that it would be at least five o’clock +before a meal of any kind would be available. On his return, Nozdrev +invited his companions to inspect his establishment--even though as +early as two o’clock he had to announce that nothing more was to be +seen. + +The tour began with a view of the stables, where the party saw two mares +(the one a grey, and the other a roan) and a colt; which latter animal, +though far from showy, Nozdrev declared to have cost him ten thousand +roubles. + +“You NEVER paid ten thousand roubles for the brute!” exclaimed the +brother-in-law. “He isn’t worth even a thousand.” + +“By God, I DID pay ten thousand!” asserted Nozdrev. + +“You can swear that as much as you like,” retorted the other. + +“Will you bet that I did not?” asked Nozdrev, but the brother-in-law +declined the offer. + +Next, Nozdrev showed his guests some empty stalls where a number of +equally fine animals (so he alleged) had lately stood. Also there was on +view the goat which an old belief still considers to be an indispensable +adjunct to such places, even though its apparent use is to pace up and +down beneath the noses of the horses as though the place belonged to it. +Thereafter the host took his guests to look at a young wolf which he had +got tied to a chain. “He is fed on nothing but raw meat,” he explained, +“for I want him to grow up as fierce as possible.” Then the party +inspected a pond in which there were “fish of such a size that it would +take two men all their time to lift one of them out.” + +This piece of information was received with renewed incredulity on the +part of the brother-in-law. + +“Now, Chichikov,” went on Nozdrev, “let me show you a truly magnificent +brace of dogs. The hardness of their muscles will surprise you, and they +have jowls as sharp as needles.” + +So saying, he led the way to a small, but neatly-built, shed surrounded +on every side with a fenced-in run. Entering this run, the visitors +beheld a number of dogs of all sorts and sizes and colours. In their +midst Nozdrev looked like a father lording it over his family circle. +Erecting their tails--their “stems,” as dog fanciers call those +members--the animals came bounding to greet the party, and fully a score +of them laid their paws upon Chichikov’s shoulders. Indeed, one dog was +moved with such friendliness that, standing on its hind legs, it licked +him on the lips, and so forced him to spit. That done, the visitors duly +inspected the couple already mentioned, and expressed astonishment at +their muscles. True enough, they were fine animals. Next, the party +looked at a Crimean bitch which, though blind and fast nearing her end, +had, two years ago, been a truly magnificent dog. At all events, so said +Nozdrev. Next came another bitch--also blind; then an inspection of +the water-mill, which lacked the spindle-socket wherein the upper stone +ought to have been revolving--“fluttering,” to use the Russian peasant’s +quaint expression. “But never mind,” said Nozdrev. “Let us proceed to +the blacksmith’s shop.” So to the blacksmith’s shop the party proceeded, +and when the said shop had been viewed, Nozdrev said as he pointed to a +field: + +“In this field I have seen such numbers of hares as to render the ground +quite invisible. Indeed, on one occasion I, with my own hands, caught a +hare by the hind legs.” + +“You never caught a hare by the hind legs with your hands!” remarked the +brother-in-law. + +“But I DID” reiterated Nozdrev. “However, let me show you the boundary +where my lands come to an end.” + +So saying, he started to conduct his guests across a field which +consisted mostly of moleheaps, and in which the party had to pick their +way between strips of ploughed land and of harrowed. Soon Chichikov +began to feel weary, for the terrain was so low-lying that in many spots +water could be heard squelching underfoot, and though for a while the +visitors watched their feet, and stepped carefully, they soon perceived +that such a course availed them nothing, and took to following their +noses, without either selecting or avoiding the spots where the mire +happened to be deeper or the reverse. At length, when a considerable +distance had been covered, they caught sight of a boundary-post and a +narrow ditch. + +“That is the boundary,” said Nozdrev. “Everything that you see on this +side of the post is mine, as well as the forest on the other side of it, +and what lies beyond the forest.” + +“WHEN did that forest become yours?” asked the brother-in-law. “It +cannot be long since you purchased it, for it never USED to be yours.” + +“Yes, it isn’t long since I purchased it,” said Nozdrev. + +“How long?” + +“How long? Why, I purchased it three days ago, and gave a pretty sum for +it, as the devil knows!” + +“Indeed? Why, three days ago you were at the fair?” + +“Wiseacre! Cannot one be at a fair and buy land at the same time? Yes, I +WAS at the fair, and my steward bought the land in my absence.” + +“Oh, your STEWARD bought it.” The brother-in-law seemed doubtful, and +shook his head. + +The guests returned by the same route as that by which they had come; +whereafter, on reaching the house, Nozdrev conducted them to his study, +which contained not a trace of the things usually to be found in such +apartments--such things as books and papers. On the contrary, the only +articles to be seen were a sword and a brace of guns--the one “of them +worth three hundred roubles,” and the other “about eight hundred.” The +brother-in-law inspected the articles in question, and then shook +his head as before. Next, the visitors were shown some “real Turkish” + daggers, of which one bore the inadvertent inscription, “Saveli +Sibiriakov [19], Master Cutler.” Then came a barrel-organ, on which +Nozdrev started to play some tune or another. For a while the sounds +were not wholly unpleasing, but suddenly something seemed to go wrong, +for a mazurka started, to be followed by “Marlborough has gone to the +war,” and to this, again, there succeeded an antiquated waltz. Also, +long after Nozdrev had ceased to turn the handle, one particularly +shrill-pitched pipe which had, throughout, refused to harmonise with the +rest kept up a protracted whistling on its own account. Then followed +an exhibition of tobacco pipes--pipes of clay, of wood, of meerschaum, +pipes smoked and non-smoked; pipes wrapped in chamois leather and not +so wrapped; an amber-mounted hookah (a stake won at cards) and a tobacco +pouch (worked, it was alleged, by some countess who had fallen in love +with Nozdrev at a posthouse, and whose handiwork Nozdrev averred +to constitute the “sublimity of superfluity”--a term which, in the +Nozdrevian vocabulary, purported to signify the acme of perfection). + +Finally, after some hors-d’oeuvres of sturgeon’s back, they sat down +to table--the time being then nearly five o’clock. But the meal did not +constitute by any means the best of which Chichikov had ever partaken, +seeing that some of the dishes were overcooked, and others were scarcely +cooked at all. Evidently their compounder had trusted chiefly to +inspiration--she had laid hold of the first thing which had happened to +come to hand. For instance, had pepper represented the nearest article +within reach, she had added pepper wholesale. Had a cabbage chanced to +be so encountered, she had pressed it also into the service. And the +same with milk, bacon, and peas. In short, her rule seemed to have been +“Make a hot dish of some sort, and some sort of taste will result.” For +the rest, Nozdrev drew heavily upon the wine. Even before the soup +had been served, he had poured out for each guest a bumper of port and +another of “haut” sauterne. (Never in provincial towns is ordinary, +vulgar sauterne even procurable.) Next, he called for a bottle of +madeira--“as fine a tipple as ever a field-marshall drank”; but the +madeira only burnt the mouth, since the dealers, familiar with the taste +of our landed gentry (who love “good” madeira) invariably doctor the +stuff with copious dashes of rum and Imperial vodka, in the hope that +Russian stomachs will thus be enabled to carry off the lot. After this +bottle Nozdrev called for another and “a very special” brand--a brand +which he declared to consist of a blend of burgundy and champagne, and +of which he poured generous measures into the glasses of Chichikov +and the brother-in-law as they sat to right and left of him. But since +Chichikov noticed that, after doing so, he added only a scanty modicum +of the mixture to his own tumbler, our hero determined to be cautious, +and therefore took advantage of a moment when Nozdrev had again plunged +into conversation and was yet a third time engaged in refilling his +brother-in-law’s glass, to contrive to upset his (Chichikov’s) +glass over his plate. In time there came also to table a tart of +mountain-ashberries--berries which the host declared to equal, in taste, +ripe plums, but which, curiously enough, smacked more of corn brandy. +Next, the company consumed a sort of pasty of which the precise name has +escaped me, but which the host rendered differently even on the second +occasion of its being mentioned. The meal over, and the whole tale of +wines tried, the guests still retained their seats--a circumstance which +embarrassed Chichikov, seeing that he had no mind to propound his pet +scheme in the presence of Nozdrev’s brother-in-law, who was a complete +stranger to him. No, that subject called for amicable and PRIVATE +conversation. Nevertheless, the brother-in-law appeared to bode little +danger, seeing that he had taken on board a full cargo, and was now +engaged in doing nothing of a more menacing nature than picking his +nose. At length he himself noticed that he was not altogether in a +responsible condition; wherefore he rose and began to make excuses for +departing homewards, though in a tone so drowsy and lethargic that, to +quote the Russian proverb, he might almost have been “pulling a collar +on to a horse by the clasps.” + +“No, no!” cried Nozdrev. “I am NOT going to let you go.” + +“But I MUST go,” replied the brother-in-law. “Don’t try to hinder me. +You are annoying me greatly.” + +“Rubbish! We are going to play a game of banker.” + +“No, no. You must play it without me, my friend. My wife is expecting me +at home, and I must go and tell her all about the fair. Yes, I MUST go +if I am to please her. Do not try to detain me.” + +“Your wife be--! But have you REALLY an important piece of business with +her?” + +“No, no, my friend. The real reason is that she is a good and trustful +woman, and that she does a great deal for me. The tears spring to my +eyes as I think of it. Do not detain me. As an honourable man I say that +I must go. Of that I do assure you in all sincerity.” + +“Oh, let him go,” put in Chichikov under his breath. “What use will he +be here?” + +“Very well,” said Nozdrev, “though, damn it, I do not like fellows who +lose their heads.” Then he added to his brother-in-law: “All right, +Thetuk [20]. Off you go to your wife and your woman’s talk and may the +devil go with you!” + +“Do not insult me with the term Thetuk,” retorted the brother-in-law. +“To her I owe my life, and she is a dear, good woman, and has shown me +much affection. At the very thought of it I could weep. You see, she +will be asking me what I have seen at the fair, and tell her about it I +must, for she is such a dear, good woman.” + +“Then off you go to her with your pack of lies. Here is your cap.” + +“No, good friend, you are not to speak of her like that. By so doing you +offend me greatly--I say that she is a dear, good woman.” + +“Then run along home to her.” + +“Yes, I am just going. Excuse me for having been unable to stay. Gladly +would I have stayed, but really I cannot.” + +The brother-in-law repeated his excuses again and again without noticing +that he had entered the britchka, that it had passed through the gates, +and that he was now in the open country. Permissibly we may suppose that +his wife succeeded in gleaning from him few details of the fair. + +“What a fool!” said Nozdrev as, standing by the window, he watched the +departing vehicle. “Yet his off-horse is not such a bad one. For a long +time past I have been wanting to get hold of it. A man like that is +simply impossible. Yes, he is a Thetuk, a regular Thetuk.” + +With that they repaired to the parlour, where, on Porphyri bringing +candles, Chichikov perceived that his host had produced a pack of cards. + +“I tell you what,” said Nozdrev, pressing the sides of the pack +together, and then slightly bending them, so that the pack cracked and +a card flew out. “How would it be if, to pass the time, I were to make a +bank of three hundred?” + +Chichikov pretended not to have heard him, but remarked with an air of +having just recollected a forgotten point: + +“By the way, I had omitted to say that I have a request to make of you.” + +“What request?” + +“First give me your word that you will grant it.” + +“What is the request, I say?” + +“Then you give me your word, do you?” + +“Certainly.” + +“Your word of honour?” + +“My word of honour.” + +“This, then, is my request. I presume that you have a large number +of dead serfs whose names have not yet been removed from the revision +list?” + +“I have. But why do you ask?” + +“Because I want you to make them over to me.” + +“Of what use would they be to you?” + +“Never mind. I have a purpose in wanting them.” + +“What purpose?” + +“A purpose which is strictly my own affair. In short, I need them.” + +“You seem to have hatched a very fine scheme. Out with it, now! What is +in the wind?” + +“How could I have hatched such a scheme as you say? One could not very +well hatch a scheme out of such a trifle as this.” + +“Then for what purpose do you want the serfs?” + +“Oh, the curiosity of the man! He wants to poke his fingers into and +smell over every detail!” + +“Why do you decline to say what is in your mind? At all events, until +you DO say I shall not move in the matter.” + +“But how would it benefit you to know what my plans are? A whim has +seized me. That is all. Nor are you playing fair. You have given me your +word of honour, yet now you are trying to back out of it.” + +“No matter what you desire me to do, I decline to do it until you have +told me your purpose.” + +“What am I to say to the fellow?” thought Chichikov. He reflected for +a moment, and then explained that he wanted the dead souls in order +to acquire a better standing in society, since at present he possessed +little landed property, and only a handful of serfs. + +“You are lying,” said Nozdrev without even letting him finish. “Yes, you +are lying my good friend.” + +Chichikov himself perceived that his device had been a clumsy one, and +his pretext weak. “I must tell him straight out,” he said to himself as +he pulled his wits together. + +“Should I tell you the truth,” he added aloud, “I must beg of you not +to repeat it. The truth is that I am thinking of getting married. But, +unfortunately, my betrothed’s father and mother are very ambitious +people, and do not want me to marry her, since they desire the +bridegroom to own not less than three hundred souls, whereas I own but a +hundred and fifty, and that number is not sufficient.” + +“Again you are lying,” said Nozdrev. + +“Then look here; I have been lying only to this extent.” And Chichikov +marked off upon his little finger a minute portion. + +“Nevertheless I will bet my head that you have been lying throughout.” + +“Come, come! That is not very civil of you. Why should I have been +lying?” + +“Because I know you, and know that you are a regular skinflint. I say +that in all friendship. If I possessed any power over you I should hang +you to the nearest tree.” + +This remark hurt Chichikov, for at any time he disliked expressions +gross or offensive to decency, and never allowed any one--no, not even +persons of the highest rank--to behave towards him with an undue +measure of familiarity. Consequently his sense of umbrage on the present +occasion was unbounded. + +“By God, I WOULD hang you!” repeated Nozdrev. “I say this frankly, and +not for the purpose of offending you, but simply to communicate to you +my friendly opinion.” + +“To everything there are limits,” retorted Chichikov stiffly. “If you +want to indulge in speeches of that sort you had better return to the +barracks.” + +However, after a pause he added: + +“If you do not care to give me the serfs, why not SELL them?” + +“SELL them? _I_ know you, you rascal! You wouldn’t give me very much for +them, WOULD you?” + +“A nice fellow! Look here. What are they to you? So many diamonds, eh?” + +“I thought so! _I_ know you!” + +“Pardon me, but I could wish that you were a member of the Jewish +persuasion. You would give them to me fast enough then.” + +“On the contrary, to show you that I am not a usurer, I will decline to +ask of you a single kopeck for the serfs. All that you need do is to buy +that colt of mine, and then I will throw in the serfs in addition.” + +“But what should _I_ want with your colt?” said Chichikov, genuinely +astonished at the proposal. + +“What should YOU want with him? Why, I have bought him for ten thousand +roubles, and am ready to let you have him for four.” + +“I ask you again: of what use could the colt possibly be to me? I am not +the keeper of a breeding establishment.” + +“Ah! I see that you fail to understand me. Let me suggest that you pay +down at once three thousand roubles of the purchase money, and leave the +other thousand until later.” + +“But I do not mean to buy the colt, damn him!” + +“Then buy the roan mare.” + +“No, nor the roan mare.” + +“Then you shall have both the mare and the grey horse which you have +seen in my stables for two thousand roubles.” + +“I require no horses at all.” + +“But you would be able to sell them again. You would be able to get +thrice their purchase price at the very first fair that was held.” + +“Then sell them at that fair yourself, seeing that you are so certain of +making a triple profit.” + +“Oh, I should make it fast enough, only I want YOU to benefit by the +transaction.” + +Chichikov duly thanked his interlocutor, but continued to decline either +the grey horse or the roan mare. + +“Then buy a few dogs,” said Nozdrev. “I can sell you a couple of hides +a-quiver, ears well pricked, coats like quills, ribs barrel-shaped, and +paws so tucked up as scarcely to graze the ground when they run.” + +“Of what use would those dogs be to me? I am not a sportsman.” + +“But I WANT you to have the dogs. Listen. If you won’t have the dogs, +then buy my barrel-organ. ’Tis a splendid instrument. As a man of honour +I can tell you that, when new, it cost me fifteen hundred roubles. Well, +you shall have it for nine hundred.” + +“Come, come! What should I want with a barrel-organ? I am not a German, +to go hauling it about the roads and begging for coppers.” + +“But this is quite a different kind of organ from the one which Germans +take about with them. You see, it is a REAL organ. Look at it for +yourself. It is made of the best wood. I will take you to have another +view of it.” + +And seizing Chichikov by the hand, Nozdrev drew him towards the other +room, where, in spite of the fact that Chichikov, with his feet planted +firmly on the floor, assured his host, again and again, that he knew +exactly what the organ was like, he was forced once more to hear how +Marlborough went to the war. + +“Then, since you don’t care to give me any money for it,” persisted +Nozdrev, “listen to the following proposal. I will give you the +barrel-organ and all the dead souls which I possess, and in return you +shall give me your britchka, and another three hundred roubles into the +bargain.” + +“Listen to the man! In that case, what should I have left to drive in?” + +“Oh, I would stand you another britchka. Come to the coach-house, and +I will show you the one I mean. It only needs repainting to look a +perfectly splendid britchka.” + +“The ramping, incorrigible devil!” thought Chichikov to himself as at +all hazards he resolved to escape from britchkas, organs, and every +species of dog, however marvellously barrel-ribbed and tucked up of paw. + +“And in exchange, you shall have the britchka, the barrel-organ, and the +dead souls,” repeated Nozdrev. + +“I must decline the offer,” said Chichikov. + +“And why?” + +“Because I don’t WANT the things--I am full up already.” + +“I can see that you don’t know how things should be done between good +friends and comrades. Plainly you are a man of two faces.” + +“What do you mean, you fool? Think for yourself. Why should I acquire +articles which I don’t want?” + +“Say no more about it, if you please. I have quite taken your measure. +But see here. Should you care to play a game of banker? I am ready to +stake both the dead souls and the barrel-organ at cards.” + +“No; to leave an issue to cards means to submit oneself to the unknown,” + said Chichikov, covertly glancing at the pack which Nozdrev had got +in his hands. Somehow the way in which his companion had cut that pack +seemed to him suspicious. + +“Why ‘to the unknown’?” asked Nozdrev. “There is no such thing as ‘the +unknown.’ Should luck be on your side, you may win the devil knows what +a haul. Oh, luck, luck!” he went on, beginning to deal, in the hope of +raising a quarrel. “Here is the cursed nine upon which, the other night, +I lost everything. All along I knew that I should lose my money. Said I +to myself: ‘The devil take you, you false, accursed card!’” + +Just as Nozdrev uttered the words Porphyri entered with a fresh bottle +of liquor; but Chichikov declined either to play or to drink. + +“Why do you refuse to play?” asked Nozdrev. + +“Because I feel indisposed to do so. Moreover, I must confess that I am +no great hand at cards.” + +“WHY are you no great hand at them?” + +Chichikov shrugged his shoulders. “Because I am not,” he replied. + +“You are no great hand at ANYTHING, I think.” + +“What does that matter? God has made me so.” + +“The truth is that you are a Thetuk, and nothing else. Once upon a +time I believed you to be a good fellow, but now I see that you +don’t understand civility. One cannot speak to you as one would to an +intimate, for there is no frankness or sincerity about you. You are a +regular Sobakevitch--just such another as he.” + +“For what reason are you abusing me? Am I in any way at fault for +declining to play cards? Sell me those souls if you are the man to +hesitate over such rubbish.” + +“The foul fiend take you! I was about to have given them to you for +nothing, but now you shan’t have them at all--not if you offer me three +kingdoms in exchange. Henceforth I will have nothing to do with you, you +cobbler, you dirty blacksmith! Porphyri, go and tell the ostler to give +the gentleman’s horses no oats, but only hay.” + +This development Chichikov had hardly expected. + +“And do you,” added Nozdrev to his guest, “get out of my sight.” + +Yet in spite of this, host and guest took supper together--even though +on this occasion the table was adorned with no wines of fictitious +nomenclature, but only with a bottle which reared its solitary head +beside a jug of what is usually known as vin ordinaire. When supper was +over Nozdrev said to Chichikov as he conducted him to a side room where +a bed had been made up: + +“This is where you are to sleep. I cannot very well wish you +good-night.” + +Left to himself on Nozdrev’s departure, Chichikov felt in a most +unenviable frame of mind. Full of inward vexation, he blamed himself +bitterly for having come to see this man and so wasted valuable +time; but even more did he blame himself for having told him of his +scheme--for having acted as carelessly as a child or a madman. Of a +surety the scheme was not one which ought to have been confided to a man +like Nozdrev, for he was a worthless fellow who might lie about it, and +append additions to it, and spread such stories as would give rise +to God knows what scandals. “This is indeed bad!” Chichikov said to +himself. “I have been an absolute fool.” Consequently he spent an uneasy +night--this uneasiness being increased by the fact that a number of +small, but vigorous, insects so feasted upon him that he could do +nothing but scratch the spots and exclaim, “The devil take you and +Nozdrev alike!” Only when morning was approaching did he fall asleep. On +rising, he made it his first business (after donning dressing-gown +and slippers) to cross the courtyard to the stable, for the purpose of +ordering Selifan to harness the britchka. Just as he was returning from +his errand he encountered Nozdrev, clad in a dressing-gown, and holding +a pipe between his teeth. + +Host and guest greeted one another in friendly fashion, and Nozdrev +inquired how Chichikov had slept. + +“Fairly well,” replied Chichikov, but with a touch of dryness in his +tone. + +“The same with myself,” said Nozdrev. “The truth is that such a lot of +nasty brutes kept crawling over me that even to speak of it gives me +the shudders. Likewise, as the effect of last night’s doings, a whole +squadron of soldiers seemed to be camping on my chest, and giving me a +flogging. Ugh! And whom also do you think I saw in a dream? You would +never guess. Why, it was Staff-Captain Potsieluev and Lieutenant +Kuvshinnikov!” + +“Yes,” though Chichikov to himself, “and I wish that they too would give +you a public thrashing!” + +“I felt so ill!” went on Nozdrev. “And just after I had fallen asleep +something DID come and sting me. Probably it was a party of hag fleas. +Now, dress yourself, and I will be with you presently. First of all I +must give that scoundrel of a bailiff a wigging.” + +Chichikov departed to his own room to wash and dress; which process +completed, he entered the dining-room to find the table laid with +tea-things and a bottle of rum. Clearly no broom had yet touched the +place, for there remained traces of the previous night’s dinner and +supper in the shape of crumbs thrown over the floor and tobacco ash on +the tablecloth. The host himself, when he entered, was still clad in a +dressing-gown exposing a hairy chest; and as he sat holding his pipe in +his hand, and drinking tea from a cup, he would have made a model for +the sort of painter who prefers to portray gentlemen of the less curled +and scented order. + +“What think you?” he asked of Chichikov after a short silence. “Are you +willing NOW to play me for those souls?” + +“I have told you that I never play cards. If the souls are for sale, I +will buy them.” + +“I decline to sell them. Such would not be the course proper between +friends. But a game of banker would be quite another matter. Let us deal +the cards.” + +“I have told you that I decline to play.” + +“And you will not agree to an exchange?” + +“No.” + +“Then look here. Suppose we play a game of chess. If you win, the souls +shall be yours. There are lots which I should like to see crossed off +the revision list. Hi, Porphyri! Bring me the chessboard.” + +“You are wasting your time. I will play neither chess nor cards.” + +“But chess is different from playing with a bank. In chess there can be +neither luck nor cheating, for everything depends upon skill. In fact, I +warn you that I cannot possibly play with you unless you allow me a move +or two in advance.” + +“The same with me,” thought Chichikov. “Shall I, or shall I not, play +this fellow? I used not to be a bad chess-player, and it is a sport in +which he would find it more difficult to be up to his tricks.” + +“Very well,” he added aloud. “I WILL play you at chess.” + +“And stake the souls for a hundred roubles?” asked Nozdrev. + +“No. Why for a hundred? Would it not be sufficient to stake them for +fifty?” + +“No. What would be the use of fifty? Nevertheless, for the hundred +roubles I will throw in a moderately old puppy, or else a gold seal and +watch-chain.” + +“Very well,” assented Chichikov. + +“Then how many moves are you going to allow me?” + +“Is THAT to be part of the bargain? Why, none, of course.” + +“At least allow me two.” + +“No, none. I myself am only a poor player.” + +“_I_ know you and your poor play,” said Nozdrev, moving a chessman. + +“In fact, it is a long time since last I had a chessman in my hand,” + replied Chichikov, also moving a piece. + +“Ah! _I_ know you and your poor play,” repeated Nozdrev, moving a second +chessman. + +“I say again that it is a long time since last I had a chessman in my +hand.” And Chichikov, in his turn, moved. + +“Ah! _I_ know you and your poor play,” repeated Nozdrev, for the third +time as he made a third move. At the same moment the cuff of one of his +sleeves happened to dislodge another chessman from its position. + +“Again, I say,” said Chichikov, “that ’tis a long time since last--But +hi! look here! Put that piece back in its place!” + +“What piece?” + +“This one.” And almost as Chichikov spoke he saw a third chessman coming +into view between the queens. God only knows whence that chessman had +materialised. + +“No, no!” shouted Chichikov as he rose from the table. “It is impossible +to play with a man like you. People don’t move three pieces at once.” + +“How ‘three pieces’? All that I have done is to make a mistake--to move +one of my pieces by accident. If you like, I will forfeit it to you.” + +“And whence has the third piece come?” + +“What third piece?” + +“The one now standing between the queens?” + +“’Tis one of your own pieces. Surely you are forgetting?” + +“No, no, my friend. I have counted every move, and can remember each +one. That piece has only just become added to the board. Put it back in +its place, I say.” + +“Its place? Which IS its place?” But Nozdrev had reddened a good deal. +“I perceive you to be a strategist at the game.” + +“No, no, good friend. YOU are the strategist--though an unsuccessful +one, as it happens.” + +“Then of what are you supposing me capable? Of cheating you?” + +“I am not supposing you capable of anything. All that I say is that I +will not play with you any more.” + +“But you can’t refuse to,” said Nozdrev, growing heated. “You see, the +game has begun.” + +“Nevertheless, I have a right not to continue it, seeing that you are +not playing as an honest man should do.” + +“You are lying--you cannot truthfully say that.” + +“’Tis you who are lying.” + +“But I have NOT cheated. Consequently you cannot refuse to play, but +must continue the game to a finish.” + +“You cannot force me to play,” retorted Chichikov coldly as, turning to +the chessboard, he swept the pieces into confusion. + +Nozdrev approached Chichikov with a manner so threatening that the other +fell back a couple of paces. + +“I WILL force you to play,” said Nozdrev. “It is no use you making a +mess of the chessboard, for I can remember every move. We will replace +the chessmen exactly as they were.” + +“No, no, my friend. The game is over, and I play you no more.” + +“You say that you will not?” + +“Yes. Surely you can see for yourself that such a thing is impossible?” + +“That cock won’t fight. Say at once that you refuse to play with me.” + And Nozdrev approached a step nearer. + +“Very well; I DO say that,” replied Chichikov, and at the same moment +raised his hands towards his face, for the dispute was growing heated. +Nor was the act of caution altogether unwarranted, for Nozdrev +also raised his fist, and it may be that one of our hero’s plump, +pleasant-looking cheeks would have sustained an indelible insult had +not he (Chichikov) parried the blow and, seizing Nozdrev by his whirling +arms, held them fast. + +“Porphyri! Pavlushka!” shouted Nozdrev as madly he strove to free +himself. + +On hearing the words, Chichikov, both because he wished to avoid +rendering the servants witnesses of the unedifying scene and because he +felt that it would be of no avail to hold Nozdrev any longer, let go of +the latter’s arms; but at the same moment Porphyri and Pavlushka entered +the room--a pair of stout rascals with whom it would be unwise to +meddle. + +“Do you, or do you not, intend to finish the game?” said Nozdrev. “Give +me a direct answer.” + +“No; it will not be possible to finish the game,” replied Chichikov, +glancing out of the window. He could see his britchka standing ready for +him, and Selifan evidently awaiting orders to draw up to the entrance +steps. But from the room there was no escape, since in the doorway was +posted the couple of well-built serving-men. + +“Then it is as I say? You refuse to finish the game?” repeated Nozdrev, +his face as red as fire. + +“I would have finished it had you played like a man of honour. But, as +it is, I cannot.” + +“You cannot, eh, you villain? You find that you cannot as soon as you +find that you are not winning? Thrash him, you fellows!” And as he spoke +Nozdrev grasped the cherrywood shank of his pipe. Chichikov turned as +white as a sheet. He tried to say something, but his quivering lips +emitted no sound. “Thrash him!” again shouted Nozdrev as he rushed +forward in a state of heat and perspiration more proper to a warrior who +is attacking an impregnable fortress. “Thrash him!” again he shouted +in a voice like that of some half-demented lieutenant whose desperate +bravery has acquired such a reputation that orders have had to be issued +that his hands shall be held lest he attempt deeds of over-presumptuous +daring. Seized with the military spirit, however, the lieutenant’s head +begins to whirl, and before his eye there flits the image of Suvorov +[21]. He advances to the great encounter, and impulsively cries, +“Forward, my sons!”--cries it without reflecting that he may be +spoiling the plan of the general attack, that millions of rifles may +be protruding their muzzles through the embrasures of the impregnable, +towering walls of the fortress, that his own impotent assault may be +destined to be dissipated like dust before the wind, and that already +there may have been launched on its whistling career the bullet which is +to close for ever his vociferous throat. However, if Nozdrev resembled +the headstrong, desperate lieutenant whom we have just pictured as +advancing upon a fortress, at least the fortress itself in no way +resembled the impregnable stronghold which I have described. As a matter +of fact, the fortress became seized with a panic which drove its spirit +into its boots. First of all, the chair with which Chichikov (the +fortress in question) sought to defend himself was wrested from his +grasp by the serfs, and then--blinking and neither alive nor dead--he +turned to parry the Circassian pipe-stem of his host. In fact, God +only knows what would have happened had not the fates been pleased by +a miracle to deliver Chichikov’s elegant back and shoulders from the +onslaught. Suddenly, and as unexpectedly as though the sound had +come from the clouds, there made itself heard the tinkling notes of +a collar-bell, and then the rumble of wheels approaching the entrance +steps, and, lastly, the snorting and hard breathing of a team of horses +as a vehicle came to a standstill. Involuntarily all present glanced +through the window, and saw a man clad in a semi-military greatcoat leap +from a buggy. After making an inquiry or two in the hall, he entered the +dining-room just at the juncture when Chichikov, almost swooning with +terror, had found himself placed in about as awkward a situation as +could well befall a mortal man. + +“Kindly tell me which of you is Monsieur Nozdrev?” said the unknown with +a glance of perplexity both at the person named (who was still standing +with pipe-shank upraised) and at Chichikov (who was just beginning to +recover from his unpleasant predicament). + +“Kindly tell ME whom I have the honour of addressing?” retorted Nozdrev +as he approached the official. + +“I am the Superintendent of Rural Police.” + +“And what do you want?” + +“I have come to fulfil a commission imposed upon me. That is to say, +I have come to place you under arrest until your case shall have been +decided.” + +“Rubbish! What case, pray?” + +“The case in which you involved yourself when, in a drunken condition, +and through the instrumentality of a walking-stick, you offered grave +offence to the person of Landowner Maksimov.” + +“You lie! To your face I tell you that never in my life have I set eyes +upon Landowner Maksimov.” + +“Good sir, allow me to represent to you that I am a Government officer. +Speeches like that you may address to your servants, but not to me.” + +At this point Chichikov, without waiting for Nozdrev’s reply, seized +his cap, slipped behind the Superintendent’s back, rushed out on to the +verandah, sprang into his britchka, and ordered Selifan to drive like +the wind. + + + +CHAPTER V + +Certainly Chichikov was a thorough coward, for, although the britchka +pursued its headlong course until Nozdrev’s establishment had +disappeared behind hillocks and hedgerows, our hero continued to glance +nervously behind him, as though every moment expecting to see a stern +chase begin. His breath came with difficulty, and when he tried his +heart with his hands he could feel it fluttering like a quail caught in +a net. + +“What a sweat the fellow has thrown me into!” he thought to himself, +while many a dire and forceful aspiration passed through his mind. +Indeed, the expressions to which he gave vent were most inelegant +in their nature. But what was to be done next? He was a Russian +and thoroughly aroused. The affair had been no joke. “But for the +Superintendent,” he reflected, “I might never again have looked upon +God’s daylight--I might have vanished like a bubble on a pool, and left +neither trace nor posterity nor property nor an honourable name for my +future offspring to inherit!” (it seemed that our hero was particularly +anxious with regard to his possible issue). + +“What a scurvy barin!” mused Selifan as he drove along. “Never have I +seen such a barin. I should like to spit in his face. ’Tis better to +allow a man nothing to eat than to refuse to feed a horse properly. A +horse needs his oats--they are his proper fare. Even if you make a man +procure a meal at his own expense, don’t deny a horse his oats, for he +ought always to have them.” + +An equally poor opinion of Nozdrev seemed to be cherished also by +the steeds, for not only were the bay and the Assessor clearly out of +spirits, but even the skewbald was wearing a dejected air. True, at home +the skewbald got none but the poorer sorts of oats to eat, and Selifan +never filled his trough without having first called him a villain; but +at least they WERE oats, and not hay--they were stuff which could be +chewed with a certain amount of relish. Also, there was the fact that +at intervals he could intrude his long nose into his companions’ troughs +(especially when Selifan happened to be absent from the stable) and +ascertain what THEIR provender was like. But at Nozdrev’s there had +been nothing but hay! That was not right. All three horses felt greatly +discontented. + +But presently the malcontents had their reflections cut short in a very +rude and unexpected manner. That is to say, they were brought back +to practicalities by coming into violent collision with a six-horsed +vehicle, while upon their heads descended both a babel of cries from the +ladies inside and a storm of curses and abuse from the coachman. “Ah, +you damned fool!” he vociferated. “I shouted to you loud enough! Draw +out, you old raven, and keep to the right! Are you drunk?” Selifan +himself felt conscious that he had been careless, but since a Russian +does not care to admit a fault in the presence of strangers, he retorted +with dignity: “Why have you run into US? Did you leave your eyes behind +you at the last tavern that you stopped at?” With that he started to +back the britchka, in the hope that it might get clear of the other’s +harness; but this would not do, for the pair were too hopelessly +intertwined. Meanwhile the skewbald snuffed curiously at his new +acquaintances as they stood planted on either side of him; while the +ladies in the vehicle regarded the scene with an expression of terror. +One of them was an old woman, and the other a damsel of about sixteen. A +mass of golden hair fell daintily from a small head, and the oval of +her comely face was as shapely as an egg, and white with the transparent +whiteness seen when the hands of a housewife hold a new-laid egg to +the light to let the sun’s rays filter through its shell. The same tint +marked the maiden’s ears where they glowed in the sunshine, and, +in short, what with the tears in her wide-open, arresting eyes, she +presented so attractive a picture that our hero bestowed upon it more +than a passing glance before he turned his attention to the hubbub which +was being raised among the horses and the coachmen. + +“Back out, you rook of Nizhni Novgorod!” the strangers’ coachman +shouted. Selifan tightened his reins, and the other driver did the same. +The horses stepped back a little, and then came together again--this +time getting a leg or two over the traces. In fact, so pleased did the +skewbald seem with his new friends that he refused to stir from the +melee into which an unforeseen chance had plunged him. Laying his muzzle +lovingly upon the neck of one of his recently-acquired acquaintances, +he seemed to be whispering something in that acquaintance’s ear--and +whispering pretty nonsense, too, to judge from the way in which that +confidant kept shaking his ears. + +At length peasants from a village which happened to be near the scene of +the accident tackled the mess; and since a spectacle of that kind is to +the Russian muzhik what a newspaper or a club-meeting is to the German, +the vehicles soon became the centre of a crowd, and the village denuded +even of its old women and children. The traces were disentangled, and a +few slaps on the nose forced the skewbald to draw back a little; after +which the teams were straightened out and separated. Nevertheless, +either sheer obstinacy or vexation at being parted from their new +friends caused the strange team absolutely to refuse to move a leg. +Their driver laid the whip about them, but still they stood as though +rooted to the spot. At length the participatory efforts of the peasants +rose to an unprecedented degree of enthusiasm, and they shouted in an +intermittent chorus the advice, “Do you, Andrusha, take the head of the +trace horse on the right, while Uncle Mitai mounts the shaft horse. Get +up, Uncle Mitai.” Upon that the lean, long, and red-bearded Uncle Mitai +mounted the shaft horse; in which position he looked like a village +steeple or the winder which is used to raise water from wells. The +coachman whipped up his steeds afresh, but nothing came of it, and +Uncle Mitai had proved useless. “Hold on, hold on!” shouted the peasants +again. “Do you, Uncle Mitai, mount the trace horse, while Uncle Minai +mounts the shaft horse.” Whereupon Uncle Minai--a peasant with a pair of +broad shoulders, a beard as black as charcoal, and a belly like the +huge samovar in which sbiten is brewed for all attending a local +market--hastened to seat himself upon the shaft horse, which almost +sank to the ground beneath his weight. “NOW they will go all right!” the +muzhiks exclaimed. “Lay it on hot, lay it on hot! Give that sorrel horse +the whip, and make him squirm like a koramora [22].” Nevertheless, the +affair in no way progressed; wherefore, seeing that flogging was of +no use, Uncles Mitai and Minai BOTH mounted the sorrel, while Andrusha +seated himself upon the trace horse. Then the coachman himself lost +patience, and sent the two Uncles about their business--and not before +it was time, seeing that the horses were steaming in a way that made it +clear that, unless they were first winded, they would never reach the +next posthouse. So they were given a moment’s rest. That done, they +moved off of their own accord! + +Throughout, Chichikov had been gazing at the young unknown with +great attention, and had even made one or two attempts to enter into +conversation with her: but without success. Indeed, when the ladies +departed, it was as in a dream that he saw the girl’s comely presence, +the delicate features of her face, and the slender outline of her form +vanish from his sight; it was as in a dream that once more he saw only +the road, the britchka, the three horses, Selifan, and the bare, empty +fields. Everywhere in life--yes, even in the plainest, the dingiest +ranks of society, as much as in those which are uniformly bright and +presentable--a man may happen upon some phenomenon which is so entirely +different from those which have hitherto fallen to his lot. Everywhere +through the web of sorrow of which our lives are woven there may +suddenly break a clear, radiant thread of joy; even as suddenly along +the street of some poor, poverty-stricken village which, ordinarily, +sees nought but a farm waggon there may came bowling a gorgeous coach +with plated harness, picturesque horses, and a glitter of glass, so that +the peasants stand gaping, and do not resume their caps until long after +the strange equipage has become lost to sight. Thus the golden-haired +maiden makes a sudden, unexpected appearance in our story, and as +suddenly, as unexpectedly, disappears. Indeed, had it not been that the +person concerned was Chichikov, and not some youth of twenty summers--a +hussar or a student or, in general, a man standing on the threshold +of life--what thoughts would not have sprung to birth, and stirred and +spoken, within him; for what a length of time would he not have stood +entranced as he stared into the distance and forgot alike his journey, +the business still to be done, the possibility of incurring loss through +lingering--himself, his vocation, the world, and everything else that +the world contains! + +But in the present case the hero was a man of middle-age, and of +cautious and frigid temperament. True, he pondered over the incident, +but in more deliberate fashion than a younger man would have done. That +is to say, his reflections were not so irresponsible and unsteady. “She +was a comely damsel,” he said to himself as he opened his snuff-box and +took a pinch. “But the important point is: Is she also a NICE DAMSEL? +One thing she has in her favour--and that is that she appears only just +to have left school, and not to have had time to become womanly in the +worser sense. At present, therefore, she is like a child. Everything in +her is simple, and she says just what she thinks, and laughs merely when +she feels inclined. Such a damsel might be made into anything--or she +might be turned into worthless rubbish. The latter, I surmise, for +trudging after her she will have a fond mother and a bevy of aunts, +and so forth--persons who, within a year, will have filled her with +womanishness to the point where her own father wouldn’t know her. And +to that there will be added pride and affectation, and she will begin +to observe established rules, and to rack her brains as to how, and how +much, she ought to talk, and to whom, and where, and so forth. Every +moment will see her growing timorous and confused lest she be saying too +much. Finally, she will develop into a confirmed prevaricator, and end +by marrying the devil knows whom!” Chichikov paused awhile. Then he went +on: “Yet I should like to know who she is, and who her father is, and +whether he is a rich landowner of good standing, or merely a respectable +man who has acquired a fortune in the service of the Government. +Should he allow her, on marriage, a dowry of, say, two hundred thousand +roubles, she will be a very nice catch indeed. She might even, so to +speak, make a man of good breeding happy.” + +Indeed, so attractively did the idea of the two hundred thousand +roubles begin to dance before his imagination that he felt a twinge of +self-reproach because, during the hubbub, he had not inquired of the +postillion or the coachman who the travellers might be. But soon the +sight of Sobakevitch’s country house dissipated his thoughts, and forced +him to return to his stock subject of reflection. + +Sobakevitch’s country house and estate were of very fair size, and on +each side of the mansion were expanses of birch and pine forest in two +shades of green. The wooden edifice itself had dark-grey walls and a +red-gabled roof, for it was a mansion of the kind which Russia builds +for her military settlers and for German colonists. A noticeable +circumstance was the fact that the taste of the architect had differed +from that of the proprietor--the former having manifestly been a pedant +and desirous of symmetry, and the latter having wished only for comfort. +Consequently he (the proprietor) had dispensed with all windows on one +side of the mansion, and had caused to be inserted, in their place, only +a small aperture which, doubtless, was intended to light an otherwise +dark lumber-room. Likewise, the architect’s best efforts had failed to +cause the pediment to stand in the centre of the building, since the +proprietor had had one of its four original columns removed. Evidently +durability had been considered throughout, for the courtyard was +enclosed by a strong and very high wooden fence, and both the stables, +the coach-house, and the culinary premises were partially constructed of +beams warranted to last for centuries. Nay, even the wooden huts of the +peasantry were wonderful in the solidity of their construction, and +not a clay wall or a carved pattern or other device was to be seen. +Everything fitted exactly into its right place, and even the draw-well +of the mansion was fashioned of the oakwood usually thought suitable +only for mills or ships. In short, wherever Chichikov’s eye turned he +saw nothing that was not free from shoddy make and well and skilfully +arranged. As he approached the entrance steps he caught sight of two +faces peering from a window. One of them was that of a woman in a mobcap +with features as long and as narrow as a cucumber, and the other that +of a man with features as broad and as short as the Moldavian pumpkins +(known as gorlianki) whereof balallaiki--the species of light, +two-stringed instrument which constitutes the pride and the joy of +the gay young fellow of twenty as he sits winking and smiling at the +white-necked, white-bosomed maidens who have gathered to listen to his +low-pitched tinkling--are fashioned. This scrutiny made, both faces +withdrew, and there came out on to the entrance steps a lacquey clad +in a grey jacket and a stiff blue collar. This functionary conducted +Chichikov into the hall, where he was met by the master of the house +himself, who requested his guest to enter, and then led him into the +inner part of the mansion. + +A covert glance at Sobakevitch showed our hero that his host exactly +resembled a moderate-sized bear. To complete the resemblance, +Sobakevitch’s long frockcoat and baggy trousers were of the precise +colour of a bear’s hide, while, when shuffling across the floor, he made +a criss-cross motion of the legs, and had, in addition, a constant habit +of treading upon his companion’s toes. As for his face, it was of the +warm, ardent tint of a piatok [23]. Persons of this kind--persons +to whose designing nature has devoted not much thought, and in the +fashioning of whose frames she has used no instruments so delicate as a +file or a gimlet and so forth--are not uncommon. Such persons she merely +roughhews. One cut with a hatchet, and there results a nose; another +such cut with a hatchet, and there materialises a pair of lips; two +thrusts with a drill, and there issues a pair of eyes. Lastly, scorning +to plane down the roughness, she sends out that person into the world, +saying: “There is another live creature.” Sobakevitch was just such a +ragged, curiously put together figure--though the above model would seem +to have been followed more in his upper portion than in his lower. One +result was that he seldom turned his head to look at the person with +whom he was speaking, but, rather, directed his eyes towards, say, the +stove corner or the doorway. As host and guest crossed the dining-room +Chichikov directed a second glance at his companion. “He is a bear, and +nothing but a bear,” he thought to himself. And, indeed, the strange +comparison was inevitable. Incidentally, Sobakevitch’s Christian name +and patronymic were Michael Semenovitch. Of his habit of treading upon +other people’s toes Chichikov had become fully aware; wherefore he +stepped cautiously, and, throughout, allowed his host to take the +lead. As a matter of fact, Sobakevitch himself seemed conscious of his +failing, for at intervals he would inquire: “I hope I have not hurt +you?” and Chichikov, with a word of thanks, would reply that as yet he +had sustained no injury. + +At length they reached the drawing-room, where Sobakevitch pointed to +an armchair, and invited his guest to be seated. Chichikov gazed with +interest at the walls and the pictures. In every such picture there were +portrayed either young men or Greek generals of the type of Movrogordato +(clad in a red uniform and breaches), Kanaris, and others; and all these +heroes were depicted with a solidity of thigh and a wealth of moustache +which made the beholder simply shudder with awe. Among them there were +placed also, according to some unknown system, and for some unknown +reason, firstly, Bagration [24]--tall and thin, and with a cluster of +small flags and cannon beneath him, and the whole set in the narrowest +of frames--and, secondly, the Greek heroine, Bobelina, whose legs looked +larger than do the whole bodies of the drawing-room dandies of the +present day. Apparently the master of the house was himself a man of +health and strength, and therefore liked to have his apartments adorned +with none but folk of equal vigour and robustness. Lastly, in the +window, and suspended cheek by jowl with Bobelina, there hung a cage +whence at intervals there peered forth a white-spotted blackbird. +Like everything else in the apartment, it bore a strong resemblance to +Sobakevitch. When host and guest had been conversing for two minutes or +so the door opened, and there entered the hostess--a tall lady in a cap +adorned with ribands of domestic colouring and manufacture. She entered +deliberately, and held her head as erect as a palm. + +“This is my wife, Theodulia Ivanovna,” said Sobakevitch. + +Chichikov approached and took her hand. The fact that she raised it +nearly to the level of his lips apprised him of the circumstance that it +had just been rinsed in cucumber oil. + +“My dear, allow me to introduce Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov,” added +Sobakevitch. “He has the honour of being acquainted both with our +Governor and with our Postmaster.” + +Upon this Theodulia Ivanovna requested her guest to be seated, and +accompanied the invitation with the kind of bow usually employed only by +actresses who are playing the role of queens. Next, she took a seat upon +the sofa, drew around her her merino gown, and sat thereafter without +moving an eyelid or an eyebrow. As for Chichikov, he glanced upwards, +and once more caught sight of Kanaris with his fat thighs and +interminable moustache, and of Bobelina and the blackbird. For fully +five minutes all present preserved a complete silence--the only sound +audible being that of the blackbird’s beak against the wooden floor of +the cage as the creature fished for grains of corn. Meanwhile Chichikov +again surveyed the room, and saw that everything in it was massive and +clumsy in the highest degree; as also that everything was curiously in +keeping with the master of the house. For example, in one corner of the +apartment there stood a hazelwood bureau with a bulging body on four +grotesque legs--the perfect image of a bear. Also, the tables and the +chairs were of the same ponderous, unrestful order, and every single +article in the room appeared to be saying either, “I, too, am a +Sobakevitch,” or “I am exactly like Sobakevitch.” + +“I heard speak of you one day when I was visiting the President of the +Council,” said Chichikov, on perceiving that no one else had a mind to +begin a conversation. “That was on Thursday last. We had a very pleasant +evening.” + +“Yes, on that occasion I was not there,” replied Sobakevitch. + +“What a nice man he is!” + +“Who is?” inquired Sobakevitch, gazing into the corner by the stove. + +“The President of the Local Council.” + +“Did he seem so to you? True, he is a mason, but he is also the greatest +fool that the world ever saw.” + +Chichikov started a little at this mordant criticism, but soon pulled +himself together again, and continued: + +“Of course, every man has his weakness. Yet the President seems to be an +excellent fellow.” + +“And do you think the same of the Governor?” + +“Yes. Why not?” + +“Because there exists no greater rogue than he.” + +“What? The Governor a rogue?” ejaculated Chichikov, at a loss to +understand how the official in question could come to be numbered with +thieves. “Let me say that I should never have guessed it. Permit me +also to remark that his conduct would hardly seem to bear out your +opinion--he seems so gentle a man.” And in proof of this Chichikov +cited the purses which the Governor knitted, and also expatiated on the +mildness of his features. + +“He has the face of a robber,” said Sobakevitch. “Were you to give him a +knife, and to turn him loose on a turnpike, he would cut your throat for +two kopecks. And the same with the Vice-Governor. The pair are just Gog +and Magog.” + +“Evidently he is not on good terms with them,” thought Chichikov to +himself. “I had better pass to the Chief of Police, which whom he DOES +seem to be friendly.” Accordingly he added aloud: “For my own part, I +should give the preference to the Head of the Gendarmery. What a frank, +outspoken nature he has! And what an element of simplicity does his +expression contain!” + +“He is mean to the core,” remarked Sobakevitch coldly. “He will sell you +and cheat you, and then dine at your table. Yes, I know them all, and +every one of them is a swindler, and the town a nest of rascals engaged +in robbing one another. Not a man of the lot is there but would sell +Christ. Yet stay: ONE decent fellow there is--the Public Prosecutor; +though even HE, if the truth be told, is little better than a pig.” + +After these eulogia Chichikov saw that it would be useless to continue +running through the list of officials--more especially since suddenly he +had remembered that Sobakevitch was not at any time given to commending +his fellow man. + +“Let us go to luncheon, my dear,” put in Theodulia Ivanovna to her +spouse. + +“Yes; pray come to table,” said Sobakevitch to his guest; whereupon they +consumed the customary glass of vodka (accompanied by sundry snacks of +salted cucumber and other dainties) with which Russians, both in town +and country, preface a meal. Then they filed into the dining-room in the +wake of the hostess, who sailed on ahead like a goose swimming across a +pond. The small dining-table was found to be laid for four persons--the +fourth place being occupied by a lady or a young girl (it would have +been difficult to say which exactly) who might have been either a +relative, the housekeeper, or a casual visitor. Certain persons in the +world exist, not as personalities in themselves, but as spots or specks +on the personalities of others. Always they are to be seen sitting in +the same place, and holding their heads at exactly the same angle, so +that one comes within an ace of mistaking them for furniture, and thinks +to oneself that never since the day of their birth can they have spoken +a single word. + +“My dear,” said Sobakevitch, “the cabbage soup is excellent.” With that +he finished his portion, and helped himself to a generous measure of +niania [25]--the dish which follows shtchi and consists of a sheep’s +stomach stuffed with black porridge, brains, and other things. “What +niania this is!” he added to Chichikov. “Never would you get such stuff +in a town, where one is given the devil knows what.” + +“Nevertheless the Governor keeps a fair table,” said Chichikov. + +“Yes, but do you know what all the stuff is MADE OF?” retorted +Sobakevitch. “If you DID know you would never touch it.” + +“Of course I am not in a position to say how it is prepared, but at +least the pork cutlets and the boiled fish seemed excellent.” + +“Ah, it might have been thought so; yet I know the way in which such +things are bought in the market-place. They are bought by some rascal of +a cook whom a Frenchman has taught how to skin a tomcat and then serve +it up as hare.” + +“Ugh! What horrible things you say!” put in Madame. + +“Well, my dear, that is how things are done, and it is no fault of mine +that it is so. Moreover, everything that is left over--everything that +WE (pardon me for mentioning it) cast into the slop-pail--is used by +such folk for making soup.” + +“Always at table you begin talking like this!” objected his helpmeet. + +“And why not?” said Sobakevitch. “I tell you straight that I would not +eat such nastiness, even had I made it myself. Sugar a frog as much +as you like, but never shall it pass MY lips. Nor would I swallow an +oyster, for I know only too well what an oyster may resemble. But +have some mutton, friend Chichikov. It is shoulder of mutton, and +very different stuff from the mutton which they cook in noble +kitchens--mutton which has been kicking about the market-place four days +or more. All that sort of cookery has been invented by French and German +doctors, and I should like to hang them for having done so. They go and +prescribe diets and a hunger cure as though what suits their flaccid +German systems will agree with a Russian stomach! Such devices are no +good at all.” Sobakevitch shook his head wrathfully. “Fellows like +those are for ever talking of civilisation. As if THAT sort of thing was +civilisation! Phew!” (Perhaps the speaker’s concluding exclamation would +have been even stronger had he not been seated at table.) “For myself, I +will have none of it. When I eat pork at a meal, give me the WHOLE pig; +when mutton, the WHOLE sheep; when goose, the WHOLE of the bird. Two +dishes are better than a thousand, provided that one can eat of them as +much as one wants.” + +And he proceeded to put precept into practice by taking half the +shoulder of mutton on to his plate, and then devouring it down to the +last morsel of gristle and bone. + +“My word!” reflected Chichikov. “The fellow has a pretty good holding +capacity!” + +“None of it for me,” repeated Sobakevitch as he wiped his hands on his +napkin. “I don’t intend to be like a fellow named Plushkin, who owns +eight hundred souls, yet dines worse than does my shepherd.” + +“Who is Plushkin?” asked Chichikov. + +“A miser,” replied Sobakevitch. “Such a miser as never you could +imagine. Even convicts in prison live better than he does. And he +starves his servants as well.” + +“Really?” ejaculated Chichikov, greatly interested. “Should you, then, +say that he has lost many peasants by death?” + +“Certainly. They keep dying like flies.” + +“Then how far from here does he reside?” + +“About five versts.” + +“Only five versts?” exclaimed Chichikov, feeling his heart beating +joyously. “Ought one, when leaving your gates, to turn to the right or +to the left?” + +“I should be sorry to tell you the way to the house of such a cur,” said +Sobakevitch. “A man had far better go to hell than to Plushkin’s.” + +“Quite so,” responded Chichikov. “My only reason for asking you is +that it interests me to become acquainted with any and every sort of +locality.” + +To the shoulder of mutton there succeeded, in turn, cutlets (each one +larger than a plate), a turkey of about the size of a calf, eggs, rice, +pastry, and every conceivable thing which could possibly be put into a +stomach. There the meal ended. When he rose from table Chichikov felt as +though a pood’s weight were inside him. In the drawing-room the company +found dessert awaiting them in the shape of pears, plums, and apples; +but since neither host nor guest could tackle these particular dainties +the hostess removed them to another room. Taking advantage of her +absence, Chichikov turned to Sobakevitch (who, prone in an armchair, +seemed, after his ponderous meal, to be capable of doing little +beyond belching and grunting--each such grunt or belch necessitating a +subsequent signing of the cross over the mouth), and intimated to him +a desire to have a little private conversation concerning a certain +matter. At this moment the hostess returned. + +“Here is more dessert,” she said. “Pray have a few radishes stewed in +honey.” + +“Later, later,” replied Sobakevitch. “Do you go to your room, and Paul +Ivanovitch and I will take off our coats and have a nap.” + +Upon this the good lady expressed her readiness to send for feather beds +and cushions, but her husband expressed a preference for slumbering in +an armchair, and she therefore departed. When she had gone Sobakevitch +inclined his head in an attitude of willingness to listen to Chichikov’s +business. Our hero began in a sort of detached manner--touching lightly +upon the subject of the Russian Empire, and expatiating upon the +immensity of the same, and saying that even the Empire of Ancient Rome +had been of considerably smaller dimensions. Meanwhile Sobakevitch sat +with his head drooping. + +From that Chichikov went on to remark that, according to the statutes of +the said Russian Empire (which yielded to none in glory--so much so that +foreigners marvelled at it), peasants on the census lists who had ended +their earthly careers were nevertheless, on the rendering of new lists, +returned equally with the living, to the end that the courts might be +relieved of a multitude of trifling, useless emendations which might +complicate the already sufficiently complex mechanism of the State. +Nevertheless, said Chichikov, the general equity of this measure did +not obviate a certain amount of annoyance to landowners, since it forced +them to pay upon a non-living article the tax due upon a living. Hence +(our hero concluded) he (Chichikov) was prepared, owing to the personal +respect which he felt for Sobakevitch, to relieve him, in part, of +the irksome obligation referred to (in passing, it may be said that +Chichikov referred to his principal point only guardedly, for he called +the souls which he was seeking not “dead,” but “non-existent”). + +Meanwhile Sobakevitch listened with bent head; though something like a +trace of expression dawned in his face as he did so. Ordinarily his +body lacked a soul--or, if he did possess a soul, he seemed to keep it +elsewhere than where it ought to have been; so that, buried beneath +mountains (as it were) or enclosed within a massive shell, its movements +produced no sort of agitation on the surface. + +“Well?” said Chichikov--though not without a certain tremor of +diffidence as to the possible response. + +“You are after dead souls?” were Sobakevitch’s perfectly simple words. +He spoke without the least surprise in his tone, and much as though the +conversation had been turning on grain. + +“Yes,” replied Chichikov, and then, as before, softened down the +expression “dead souls.” + +“They are to be found,” said Sobakevitch. “Why should they not be?” + +“Then of course you will be glad to get rid of any that you may chance +to have?” + +“Yes, I shall have no objection to SELLING them.” At this point the +speaker raised his head a little, for it had struck him that surely the +would-be buyer must have some advantage in view. + +“The devil!” thought Chichikov to himself. “Here is he selling the goods +before I have even had time to utter a word!” + +“And what about the price?” he added aloud. “Of course, the articles are +not of a kind very easy to appraise.” + +“I should be sorry to ask too much,” said Sobakevitch. “How would a +hundred roubles per head suit you?” + +“What, a hundred roubles per head?” Chichikov stared open-mouthed at +his host--doubting whether he had heard aright, or whether his host’s +slow-moving tongue might not have inadvertently substituted one word for +another. + +“Yes. Is that too much for you?” said Sobakevitch. Then he added: “What +is your own price?” + +“My own price? I think that we cannot properly have understood one +another--that you must have forgotten of what the goods consist. With +my hand on my heart do I submit that eight grivni per soul would be a +handsome, a VERY handsome, offer.” + +“What? Eight grivni?” + +“In my opinion, a higher offer would be impossible.” + +“But I am not a seller of boots.” + +“No; yet you, for your part, will agree that these souls are not live +human beings?” + +“I suppose you hope to find fools ready to sell you souls on the census +list for a couple of groats apiece?” + +“Pardon me, but why do you use the term ‘on the census list’? The souls +themselves have long since passed away, and have left behind them only +their names. Not to trouble you with any further discussion of the +subject, I can offer you a rouble and a half per head, but no more.” + +“You should be ashamed even to mention such a sum! Since you deal in +articles of this kind, quote me a genuine price.” + +“I cannot, Michael Semenovitch. Believe me, I cannot. What a man +cannot do, that he cannot do.” The speaker ended by advancing another +half-rouble per head. + +“But why hang back with your money?” said Sobakevitch. “Of a truth I am +not asking much of you. Any other rascal than myself would have cheated +you by selling you old rubbish instead of good, genuine souls, whereas +I should be ready to give you of my best, even were you buying only +nut-kernels. For instance, look at wheelwright Michiev. Never was there +such a one to build spring carts! And his handiwork was not like your +Moscow handiwork--good only for an hour. No, he did it all himself, even +down to the varnishing.” + +Chichikov opened his mouth to remark that, nevertheless, the said +Michiev had long since departed this world; but Sobakevitch’s eloquence +had got too thoroughly into its stride to admit of any interruption. + +“And look, too, at Probka Stepan, the carpenter,” his host went on. “I +will wager my head that nowhere else would you find such a workman. What +a strong fellow he was! He had served in the Guards, and the Lord only +knows what they had given for him, seeing that he was over three arshins +in height.” + +Again Chichikov tried to remark that Probka was dead, but Sobakevitch’s +tongue was borne on the torrent of its own verbiage, and the only thing +to be done was to listen. + +“And Milushkin, the bricklayer! He could build a stove in any house you +liked! And Maksim Teliatnikov, the bootmaker! Anything that he drove +his awl into became a pair of boots--and boots for which you would +be thankful, although he WAS a bit foul of the mouth. And Eremi +Sorokoplechin, too! He was the best of the lot, and used to work at +his trade in Moscow, where he paid a tax of five hundred roubles. Well, +THERE’S an assortment of serfs for you!--a very different assortment +from what Plushkin would sell you!” + +“But permit me,” at length put in Chichikov, astounded at this flood of +eloquence to which there appeared to be no end. “Permit me, I say, to +inquire why you enumerate the talents of the deceased, seeing that they +are all of them dead, and that therefore there can be no sense in doing +so. ‘A dead body is only good to prop a fence with,’ says the proverb.” + +“Of course they are dead,” replied Sobakevitch, but rather as though the +idea had only just occurred to him, and was giving him food for thought. +“But tell me, now: what is the use of listing them as still alive? And +what is the use of them themselves? They are flies, not human beings.” + +“Well,” said Chichikov, “they exist, though only in idea.” + +“But no--NOT only in idea. I tell you that nowhere else would you +find such a fellow for working heavy tools as was Michiev. He had the +strength of a horse in his shoulders.” And, with the words, Sobakevitch +turned, as though for corroboration, to the portrait of Bagration, as is +frequently done by one of the parties in a dispute when he purports to +appeal to an extraneous individual who is not only unknown to him, but +wholly unconnected with the subject in hand; with the result that the +individual is left in doubt whether to make a reply, or whether to +betake himself elsewhere. + +“Nevertheless, I CANNOT give you more than two roubles per head,” said +Chichikov. + +“Well, as I don’t want you to swear that I have asked too much of you +and won’t meet you halfway, suppose, for friendship’s sake, that you pay +me seventy-five roubles in assignats?” + +“Good heavens!” thought Chichikov to himself. “Does the man take me for +a fool?” Then he added aloud: “The situation seems to me a strange +one, for it is as though we were performing a stage comedy. No other +explanation would meet the case. Yet you appear to be a man of sense, +and possessed of some education. The matter is a very simple one. The +question is: what is a dead soul worth, and is it of any use to any +one?” + +“It is of use to YOU, or you would not be buying such articles.” + +Chichikov bit his lip, and stood at a loss for a retort. He tried +to saying something about “family and domestic circumstances,” but +Sobakevitch cut him short with: + +“I don’t want to know your private affairs, for I never poke my nose +into such things. You need the souls, and I am ready to sell them. +Should you not buy them, I think you will repent it.” + +“Two roubles is my price,” repeated Chichikov. + +“Come, come! As you have named that sum, I can understand your not +liking to go back upon it; but quote me a bona fide figure.” + +“The devil fly away with him!” mused Chichikov. “However, I will add +another half-rouble.” And he did so. + +“Indeed?” said Sobakevitch. “Well, my last word upon it is--fifty +roubles in assignats. That will mean a sheer loss to me, for nowhere +else in the world could you buy better souls than mine.” + +“The old skinflint!” muttered Chichikov. Then he added aloud, with +irritation in his tone: “See here. This is a serious matter. Any one but +you would be thankful to get rid of the souls. Only a fool would stick +to them, and continue to pay the tax.” + +“Yes, but remember (and I say it wholly in a friendly way) that +transactions of this kind are not generally allowed, and that any one +would say that a man who engages in them must have some rather doubtful +advantage in view.” + +“Have it your own away,” said Chichikov, with assumed indifference. “As +a matter of fact, I am not purchasing for profit, as you suppose, but to +humour a certain whim of mine. Two and a half roubles is the most that I +can offer.” + +“Bless your heart!” retorted the host. “At least give me thirty roubles +in assignats, and take the lot.” + +“No, for I see that you are unwilling to sell. I must say good-day to +you.” + +“Hold on, hold on!” exclaimed Sobakevitch, retaining his guest’s hand, +and at the same moment treading heavily upon his toes--so heavily, +indeed, that Chichikov gasped and danced with the pain. + +“I BEG your pardon!” said Sobakevitch hastily. “Evidently I have hurt +you. Pray sit down again.” + +“No,” retorted Chichikov. “I am merely wasting my time, and must be +off.” + +“Oh, sit down just for a moment. I have something more agreeable to +say.” And, drawing closer to his guest, Sobakevitch whispered in his +ear, as though communicating to him a secret: “How about twenty-five +roubles?” + +“No, no, no!” exclaimed Chichikov. “I won’t give you even a QUARTER of +that. I won’t advance another kopeck.” + +For a while Sobakevitch remained silent, and Chichikov did the same. +This lasted for a couple of minutes, and, meanwhile, the aquiline-nosed +Bagration gazed from the wall as though much interested in the +bargaining. + +“What is your outside price?” at length said Sobakevitch. + +“Two and a half roubles.” + +“Then you seem to rate a human soul at about the same value as a boiled +turnip. At least give me THREE roubles.” + +“No, I cannot.” + +“Pardon me, but you are an impossible man to deal with. However, even +though it will mean a dead loss to me, and you have not shown a very +nice spirit about it, I cannot well refuse to please a friend. I suppose +a purchase deed had better be made out in order to have everything in +order?” + +“Of course.” + +“Then for that purpose let us repair to the town.” + +The affair ended in their deciding to do this on the morrow, and to +arrange for the signing of a deed of purchase. Next, Chichikov requested +a list of the peasants; to which Sobakevitch readily agreed. Indeed, he +went to his writing-desk then and there, and started to indite a +list which gave not only the peasants’ names, but also their late +qualifications. + +Meanwhile Chichikov, having nothing else to do, stood looking at the +spacious form of his host; and as he gazed at his back as broad as that +of a cart horse, and at the legs as massive as the iron standards which +adorn a street, he could not help inwardly ejaculating: + +“Truly God has endowed you with much! Though not adjusted with nicety, +at least you are strongly built. I wonder whether you were born a +bear or whether you have come to it through your rustic life, with its +tilling of crops and its trading with peasants? Yet no; I believe that, +even if you had received a fashionable education, and had mixed with +society, and had lived in St. Petersburg, you would still have been just +the kulak [26] that you are. The only difference is that circumstances, +as they stand, permit of your polishing off a stuffed shoulder of mutton +at a meal; whereas in St. Petersburg you would have been unable to +do so. Also, as circumstances stand, you have under you a number +of peasants, whom you treat well for the reason that they are your +property; whereas, otherwise, you would have had under you tchinovniks +[27]: whom you would have bullied because they were NOT your property. +Also, you would have robbed the Treasury, since a kulak always remains a +money-grubber.” + +“The list is ready,” said Sobakevitch, turning round. + +“Indeed? Then please let me look at it.” Chichikov ran his eye over the +document, and could not but marvel at its neatness and accuracy. Not +only were there set forth in it the trade, the age, and the pedigree +of every serf, but on the margin of the sheet were jotted remarks +concerning each serf’s conduct and sobriety. Truly it was a pleasure to +look at it. + +“And do you mind handing me the earnest money?” said Sobakevitch. + +“Yes, I do. Why need that be done? You can receive the money in a lump +sum as soon as we visit the town.” + +“But it is always the custom, you know,” asserted Sobakevitch. + +“Then I cannot follow it, for I have no money with me. However, here are +ten roubles.” + +“Ten roubles, indeed? You might as well hand me fifty while you are +about it.” + +Once more Chichikov started to deny that he had any money upon him, but +Sobakevitch insisted so strongly that this was not so that at length +the guest pulled out another fifteen roubles, and added them to the ten +already produced. + +“Kindly give me a receipt for the money,” he added. + +“A receipt? Why should I give you a receipt?” + +“Because it is better to do so, in order to guard against mistakes.” + +“Very well; but first hand me over the money.” + +“The money? I have it here. Do you write out the receipt, and then the +money shall be yours.” + +“Pardon me, but how am I to write out the receipt before I have seen the +cash?” + +Chichikov placed the notes in Sobakevitch’s hand; whereupon the host +moved nearer to the table, and added to the list of serfs a note that +he had received for the peasants, therewith sold, the sum of twenty-five +roubles, as earnest money. This done, he counted the notes once more. + +“This is a very OLD note,” he remarked, holding one up to the light. +“Also, it is a trifle torn. However, in a friendly transaction one must +not be too particular.” + +“What a kulak!” thought Chichikov to himself. “And what a brute beast!” + +“Then you do not want any WOMEN souls?” queried Sobakevitch. + +“I thank you, no.” + +“I could let you have some cheap--say, as between friends, at a rouble a +head?” + +“No, I should have no use for them.” + +“Then, that being so, there is no more to be said. There is no +accounting for tastes. ‘One man loves the priest, and another the +priest’s wife,’ says the proverb.” + +Chichikov rose to take his leave. “Once more I would request of you,” he +said, “that the bargain be left as it is.” + +“Of course, of course. What is done between friends holds good because +of their mutual friendship. Good-bye, and thank you for your visit. In +advance I would beg that, whenever you should have an hour or two to +spare, you will come and lunch with us again. Perhaps we might be able +to do one another further service?” + +“Not if I know it!” reflected Chichikov as he mounted his britchka. “Not +I, seeing that I have had two and a half roubles per soul squeezed out +of me by a brute of a kulak!” + +Altogether he felt dissatisfied with Sobakevitch’s behaviour. In spite +of the man being a friend of the Governor and the Chief of Police, +he had acted like an outsider in taking money for what was worthless +rubbish. As the britchka left the courtyard Chichikov glanced back +and saw Sobakevitch still standing on the verandah--apparently for the +purpose of watching to see which way the guest’s carriage would turn. + +“The old villain, to be still standing there!” muttered Chichikov +through his teeth; after which he ordered Selifan to proceed so that the +vehicle’s progress should be invisible from the mansion--the truth +being that he had a mind next to visit Plushkin (whose serfs, to quote +Sobakevitch, had a habit of dying like flies), but not to let his late +host learn of his intention. Accordingly, on reaching the further end of +the village, he hailed the first peasant whom he saw--a man who was in +the act of hoisting a ponderous beam on to his shoulder before setting +off with it, ant-like, to his hut. + +“Hi!” shouted Chichikov. “How can I reach landowner Plushkin’s place +without first going past the mansion here?” + +The peasant seemed nonplussed by the question. + +“Don’t you know?” queried Chichikov. + +“No, barin,” replied the peasant. + +“What? You don’t know skinflint Plushkin who feeds his people so badly?” + +“Of course I do!” exclaimed the fellow, and added thereto an +uncomplimentary expression of a species not ordinarily employed in +polite society. We may guess that it was a pretty apt expression, since +long after the man had become lost to view Chichikov was still laughing +in his britchka. And, indeed, the language of the Russian populace is +always forcible in its phraseology. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +Chichikov’s amusement at the peasant’s outburst prevented him from +noticing that he had reached the centre of a large and populous village; +but, presently, a violent jolt aroused him to the fact that he was +driving over wooden pavements of a kind compared with which the +cobblestones of the town had been as nothing. Like the keys of a piano, +the planks kept rising and falling, and unguarded passage over them +entailed either a bump on the back of the neck or a bruise on the +forehead or a bite on the tip of one’s tongue. At the same time +Chichikov noticed a look of decay about the buildings of the village. +The beams of the huts had grown dark with age, many of their roofs were +riddled with holes, others had but a tile of the roof remaining, and yet +others were reduced to the rib-like framework of the same. It would +seem as though the inhabitants themselves had removed the laths and +traverses, on the very natural plea that the huts were no protection +against the rain, and therefore, since the latter entered in bucketfuls, +there was no particular object to be gained by sitting in such huts when +all the time there was the tavern and the highroad and other places to +resort to. + +Suddenly a woman appeared from an outbuilding--apparently the +housekeeper of the mansion, but so roughly and dirtily dressed as almost +to seem indistinguishable from a man. Chichikov inquired for the master +of the place. + +“He is not at home,” she replied, almost before her interlocutor had had +time to finish. Then she added: “What do you want with him?” + +“I have some business to do,” said Chichikov. + +“Then pray walk into the house,” the woman advised. Then she turned upon +him a back that was smeared with flour and had a long slit in the lower +portion of its covering. Entering a large, dark hall which reeked like +a tomb, he passed into an equally dark parlour that was lighted only by +such rays as contrived to filter through a crack under the door. When +Chichikov opened the door in question, the spectacle of the untidiness +within struck him almost with amazement. It would seem that the floor +was never washed, and that the room was used as a receptacle for every +conceivable kind of furniture. On a table stood a ragged chair, with, +beside it, a clock minus a pendulum and covered all over with cobwebs. +Against a wall leant a cupboard, full of old silver, glassware, and +china. On a writing table, inlaid with mother-of-pearl which, in places, +had broken away and left behind it a number of yellow grooves (stuffed +with putty), lay a pile of finely written manuscript, an overturned +marble press (turning green), an ancient book in a leather cover with +red edges, a lemon dried and shrunken to the dimensions of a hazelnut, +the broken arm of a chair, a tumbler containing the dregs of some liquid +and three flies (the whole covered over with a sheet of notepaper), a +pile of rags, two ink-encrusted pens, and a yellow toothpick with which +the master of the house had picked his teeth (apparently) at least +before the coming of the French to Moscow. As for the walls, they were +hung with a medley of pictures. Among the latter was a long engraving of +a battle scene, wherein soldiers in three-cornered hats were brandishing +huge drums and slender lances. It lacked a glass, and was set in a frame +ornamented with bronze fretwork and bronze corner rings. Beside it hung +a huge, grimy oil painting representative of some flowers and fruit, +half a water melon, a boar’s head, and the pendent form of a dead +wild duck. Attached to the ceiling there was a chandelier in a holland +covering--the covering so dusty as closely to resemble a huge cocoon +enclosing a caterpillar. Lastly, in one corner of the room lay a pile +of articles which had evidently been adjudged unworthy of a place on the +table. Yet what the pile consisted of it would have been difficult to +say, seeing that the dust on the same was so thick that any hand which +touched it would have at once resembled a glove. Prominently protruding +from the pile was the shaft of a wooden spade and the antiquated sole +of a shoe. Never would one have supposed that a living creature had +tenanted the room, were it not that the presence of such a creature was +betrayed by the spectacle of an old nightcap resting on the table. + +Whilst Chichikov was gazing at this extraordinary mess, a side door +opened and there entered the housekeeper who had met him near the +outbuildings. But now Chichikov perceived this person to be a man rather +than a woman, since a female housekeeper would have had no beard to +shave, whereas the chin of the newcomer, with the lower portion of his +cheeks, strongly resembled the curry-comb which is used for grooming +horses. Chichikov assumed a questioning air, and waited to hear what the +housekeeper might have to say. The housekeeper did the same. At length, +surprised at the misunderstanding, Chichikov decided to ask the first +question. + +“Is the master at home?” he inquired. + +“Yes,” replied the person addressed. + +“Then where is he?” continued Chichikov. + +“Are you blind, my good sir?” retorted the other. “_I_ am the master.” + +Involuntarily our hero started and stared. During his travels it had +befallen him to meet various types of men--some of them, it may be, +types which you and I have never encountered; but even to Chichikov this +particular species was new. In the old man’s face there was nothing very +special--it was much like the wizened face of many another dotard, save +that the chin was so greatly projected that whenever he spoke he was +forced to wipe it with a handkerchief to avoid dribbling, and that his +small eyes were not yet grown dull, but twinkled under their overhanging +brows like the eyes of mice when, with attentive ears and sensitive +whiskers, they snuff the air and peer forth from their holes to +see whether a cat or a boy may not be in the vicinity. No, the most +noticeable feature about the man was his clothes. In no way could it +have been guessed of what his coat was made, for both its sleeves and +its skirts were so ragged and filthy as to defy description, while +instead of two posterior tails, there dangled four of those appendages, +with, projecting from them, a torn newspaper. Also, around his neck +there was wrapped something which might have been a stocking, a garter, +or a stomacher, but was certainly not a tie. In short, had Chichikov +chanced to encounter him at a church door, he would have bestowed upon +him a copper or two (for, to do our hero justice, he had a sympathetic +heart and never refrained from presenting a beggar with alms), but in +the present case there was standing before him, not a mendicant, but +a landowner--and a landowner possessed of fully a thousand serfs, the +superior of all his neighbours in wealth of flour and grain, and the +owner of storehouses, and so forth, that were crammed with homespun +cloth and linen, tanned and undressed sheepskins, dried fish, and every +conceivable species of produce. Nevertheless, such a phenomenon is +rare in Russia, where the tendency is rather to prodigality than to +parsimony. + +For several minutes Plushkin stood mute, while Chichikov remained so +dazed with the appearance of the host and everything else in the room, +that he too, could not begin a conversation, but stood wondering how +best to find words in which to explain the object of his visit. For a +while he thought of expressing himself to the effect that, having heard +so much of his host’s benevolence and other rare qualities of spirit, +he had considered it his duty to come and pay a tribute of respect; but +presently even HE came to the conclusion that this would be overdoing +the thing, and, after another glance round the room, decided that +the phrase “benevolence and other rare qualities of spirit” might to +advantage give place to “economy and genius for method.” Accordingly, +the speech mentally composed, he said aloud that, having heard of +Plushkin’s talents for thrifty and systematic management, he had +considered himself bound to make the acquaintance of his host, and +to present him with his personal compliments (I need hardly say that +Chichikov could easily have alleged a better reason, had any better one +happened, at the moment, to have come into his head). + +With toothless gums Plushkin murmured something in reply, but nothing is +known as to its precise terms beyond that it included a statement +that the devil was at liberty to fly away with Chichikov’s sentiments. +However, the laws of Russian hospitality do not permit even of a miser +infringing their rules; wherefore Plushkin added to the foregoing a more +civil invitation to be seated. + +“It is long since I last received a visitor,” he went on. “Also, I feel +bound to say that I can see little good in their coming. Once introduce +the abominable custom of folk paying calls, and forthwith there will +ensue such ruin to the management of estates that landowners will be +forced to feed their horses on hay. Not for a long, long time have I +eaten a meal away from home--although my own kitchen is a poor one, and +has its chimney in such a state that, were it to become overheated, it +would instantly catch fire.” + +“What a brute!” thought Chichikov. “I am lucky to have got through so +much pastry and stuffed shoulder of mutton at Sobakevitch’s!” + +“Also,” went on Plushkin, “I am ashamed to say that hardly a wisp of +fodder does the place contain. But how can I get fodder? My lands are +small, and the peasantry lazy fellows who hate work and think of nothing +but the tavern. In the end, therefore, I shall be forced to go and spend +my old age in roaming about the world.” + +“But I have been told that you possess over a thousand serfs?” said +Chichikov. + +“Who told you that? No matter who it was, you would have been justified +in giving him the lie. He must have been a jester who wanted to make +a fool of you. A thousand souls, indeed! Why, just reckon the taxes +on them, and see what there would be left! For these three years that +accursed fever has been killing off my serfs wholesale.” + +“Wholesale, you say?” echoed Chichikov, greatly interested. + +“Yes, wholesale,” replied the old man. + +“Then might I ask you the exact number?” + +“Fully eighty.” + +“Surely not?” + +“But it is so.” + +“Then might I also ask whether it is from the date of the last census +revision that you are reckoning these souls?” + +“Yes, damn it! And since that date I have been bled for taxes upon a +hundred and twenty souls in all.” + +“Indeed? Upon a hundred and twenty souls in all!” And Chichikov’s +surprise and elation were such that, this said, he remained sitting +open-mouthed. + +“Yes, good sir,” replied Plushkin. “I am too old to tell you lies, for I +have passed my seventieth year.” + +Somehow he seemed to have taken offence at Chichikov’s almost joyous +exclamation; wherefore the guest hastened to heave a profound sigh, and +to observe that he sympathised to the full with his host’s misfortunes. + +“But sympathy does not put anything into one’s pocket,” retorted +Plushkin. “For instance, I have a kinsman who is constantly plaguing me. +He is a captain in the army, damn him, and all day he does nothing but +call me ‘dear uncle,’ and kiss my hand, and express sympathy until I am +forced to stop my ears. You see, he has squandered all his money upon +his brother-officers, as well as made a fool of himself with an actress; +so now he spends his time in telling me that he has a sympathetic +heart!” + +Chichikov hastened to explain that HIS sympathy had nothing in common +with the captain’s, since he dealt, not in empty words alone, but in +actual deeds; in proof of which he was ready then and there (for +the purpose of cutting the matter short, and of dispensing with +circumlocution) to transfer to himself the obligation of paying the +taxes due upon such serfs as Plushkin’s as had, in the unfortunate +manner just described, departed this world. The proposal seemed to +astonish Plushkin, for he sat staring open-eyed. At length he inquired: + +“My dear sir, have you seen military service?” + +“No,” replied the other warily, “but I have been a member of the CIVIL +Service.” + +“Oh! Of the CIVIL Service?” And Plushkin sat moving his lips as though +he were chewing something. “Well, what of your proposal?” he added +presently. “Are you prepared to lose by it?” + +“Yes, certainly, if thereby I can please you.” + +“My dear sir! My good benefactor!” In his delight Plushkin lost sight of +the fact that his nose was caked with snuff of the consistency of thick +coffee, and that his coat had parted in front and was disclosing some +very unseemly underclothing. “What comfort you have brought to an old +man! Yes, as God is my witness!” + +For the moment he could say no more. Yet barely a minute had elapsed +before this instantaneously aroused emotion had, as instantaneously, +disappeared from his wooden features. Once more they assumed a careworn +expression, and he even wiped his face with his handkerchief, then +rolled it into a ball, and rubbed it to and fro against his upper lip. + +“If it will not annoy you again to state the proposal,” he went on, +“what you undertake to do is to pay the annual tax upon these souls, and +to remit the money either to me or to the Treasury?” + +“Yes, that is how it shall be done. We will draw up a deed of purchase +as though the souls were still alive and you had sold them to myself.” + +“Quite so--a deed of purchase,” echoed Plushkin, once more relapsing +into thought and the chewing motion of the lips. “But a deed of such +a kind will entail certain expenses, and lawyers are so devoid of +conscience! In fact, so extortionate is their avarice that they will +charge one half a rouble, and then a sack of flour, and then a whole +waggon-load of meal. I wonder that no one has yet called attention to +the system.” + +Upon that Chichikov intimated that, out of respect for his host, he +himself would bear the cost of the transfer of souls. This led Plushkin +to conclude that his guest must be the kind of unconscionable fool who, +while pretending to have been a member of the Civil Service, has in +reality served in the army and run after actresses; wherefore the old +man no longer disguised his delight, but called down blessings alike +upon Chichikov’s head and upon those of his children (he had never even +inquired whether Chichikov possessed a family). Next, he shuffled to the +window, and, tapping one of its panes, shouted the name of “Proshka.” +Immediately some one ran quickly into the hall, and, after much stamping +of feet, burst into the room. This was Proshka--a thirteen-year-old +youngster who was shod with boots of such dimensions as almost to engulf +his legs as he walked. The reason why he had entered thus shod was +that Plushkin only kept one pair of boots for the whole of his domestic +staff. This universal pair was stationed in the hall of the mansion, so +that any servant who was summoned to the house might don the said boots +after wading barefooted through the mud of the courtyard, and enter +the parlour dry-shod--subsequently leaving the boots where he had found +them, and departing in his former barefooted condition. Indeed, had any +one, on a slushy winter’s morning, glanced from a window into the said +courtyard, he would have seen Plushkin’s servitors performing saltatory +feats worthy of the most vigorous of stage-dancers. + +“Look at that boy’s face!” said Plushkin to Chichikov as he pointed to +Proshka. “It is stupid enough, yet, lay anything aside, and in a trice +he will have stolen it. Well, my lad, what do you want?” + +He paused a moment or two, but Proshka made no reply. + +“Come, come!” went on the old man. “Set out the samovar, and then give +Mavra the key of the store-room--here it is--and tell her to get out +some loaf sugar for tea. Here! Wait another moment, fool! Is the devil +in your legs that they itch so to be off? Listen to what more I have to +tell you. Tell Mavra that the sugar on the outside of the loaf has gone +bad, so that she must scrape it off with a knife, and NOT throw away +the scrapings, but give them to the poultry. Also, see that you yourself +don’t go into the storeroom, or I will give you a birching that you +won’t care for. Your appetite is good enough already, but a better one +won’t hurt you. Don’t even TRY to go into the storeroom, for I shall be +watching you from this window.” + +“You see,” the old man added to Chichikov, “one can never trust these +fellows.” Presently, when Proshka and the boots had departed, he fell +to gazing at his guest with an equally distrustful air, since certain +features in Chichikov’s benevolence now struck him as a little open to +question, and he had begin to think to himself: “After all, the +devil only knows who he is--whether a braggart, like most of these +spendthrifts, or a fellow who is lying merely in order to get some tea +out of me.” Finally, his circumspection, combined with a desire to +test his guest, led him to remark that it might be well to complete +the transaction IMMEDIATELY, since he had not overmuch confidence in +humanity, seeing that a man might be alive to-day and dead to-morrow. + +To this Chichikov assented readily enough--merely adding that he should +like first of all to be furnished with a list of the dead souls. This +reassured Plushkin as to his guest’s intention of doing business, so +he got out his keys, approached a cupboard, and, having pulled back the +door, rummaged among the cups and glasses with which it was filled. At +length he said: + +“I cannot find it now, but I used to possess a splendid bottle of +liquor. Probably the servants have drunk it all, for they are such +thieves. Oh no: perhaps this is it!” + +Looking up, Chichikov saw that Plushkin had extracted a decanter coated +with dust. + +“My late wife made the stuff,” went on the old man, “but that rascal of +a housekeeper went and threw away a lot of it, and never even replaced +the stopper. Consequently bugs and other nasty creatures got into the +decanter, but I cleaned it out, and now beg to offer you a glassful.” + +The idea of a drink from such a receptacle was too much for Chichikov, +so he excused himself on the ground that he had just had luncheon. + +“You have just had luncheon?” re-echoed Plushkin. “Now, THAT shows how +invariably one can tell a man of good society, wheresoever one may be. +A man of that kind never eats anything--he always says that he has had +enough. Very different that from the ways of a rogue, whom one can never +satisfy, however much one may give him. For instance, that captain of +mine is constantly begging me to let him have a meal--though he is about +as much my nephew as I am his grandfather. As it happens, there is never +a bite of anything in the house, so he has to go away empty. But about +the list of those good-for-nothing souls--I happen to possess such a +list, since I have drawn one up in readiness for the next revision.” + +With that Plushkin donned his spectacles, and once more started to +rummage in the cupboard, and to smother his guest with dust as he untied +successive packages of papers--so much so that his victim burst out +sneezing. Finally he extracted a much-scribbled document in which the +names of the deceased peasants lay as close-packed as a cloud of midges, +for there were a hundred and twenty of them in all. Chichikov grinned +with joy at the sight of the multitude. Stuffing the list into his +pocket, he remarked that, to complete the transaction, it would be +necessary to return to the town. + +“To the town?” repeated Plushkin. “But why? Moreover, how could I leave +the house, seeing that every one of my servants is either a thief or +a rogue? Day by day they pilfer things, until soon I shall have not a +single coat to hang on my back.” + +“Then you possess acquaintances in the town?” + +“Acquaintances? No. Every acquaintance whom I ever possessed has either +left me or is dead. But stop a moment. I DO know the President of the +Council. Even in my old age he has once or twice come to visit me, for +he and I used to be schoolfellows, and to go climbing walls together. +Yes, him I do know. Shall I write him a letter?” + +“By all means.” + +“Yes, him I know well, for we were friends together at school.” + +Over Plushkin’s wooden features there had gleamed a ray of warmth--a +ray which expressed, if not feeling, at all events feeling’s pale +reflection. Just such a phenomenon may be witnessed when, for a brief +moment, a drowning man makes a last re-appearance on the surface of a +river, and there rises from the crowd lining the banks a cry of hope +that even yet the exhausted hands may clutch the rope which has been +thrown him--may clutch it before the surface of the unstable element +shall have resumed for ever its calm, dread vacuity. But the hope is +short-lived, and the hands disappear. Even so did Plushkin’s face, +after its momentary manifestation of feeling, become meaner and more +insensible than ever. + +“There used to be a sheet of clean writing paper lying on the table,” he +went on. “But where it is now I cannot think. That comes of my servants +being such rascals.” + +With that he fell to looking also under the table, as well as to +hurrying about with cries of “Mavra, Mavra!” At length the call was +answered by a woman with a plateful of the sugar of which mention has +been made; whereupon there ensued the following conversation. + +“What have you done with my piece of writing paper, you pilferer?” + +“I swear that I have seen no paper except the bit with which you covered +the glass.” + +“Your very face tells me that you have made off with it.” + +“Why should I make off with it? ‘Twould be of no use to me, for I can +neither read nor write.” + +“You lie! You have taken it away for the sexton to scribble upon.” + +“Well, if the sexton wanted paper he could get some for himself. Neither +he nor I have set eyes upon your piece.” + +“Ah! Wait a bit, for on the Judgment Day you will be roasted by devils +on iron spits. Just see if you are not!” + +“But why should I be roasted when I have never even TOUCHED the paper? +You might accuse me of any other fault than theft.” + +“Nay, devils shall roast you, sure enough. They will say to you, ‘Bad +woman, we are doing this because you robbed your master,’ and then stoke +up the fire still hotter.” + +“Nevertheless _I_ shall continue to say, ‘You are roasting me for +nothing, for I never stole anything at all.’ Why, THERE it is, lying on +the table! You have been accusing me for no reason whatever!” + +And, sure enough, the sheet of paper was lying before Plushkin’s very +eyes. For a moment or two he chewed silently. Then he went on: + +“Well, and what are you making such a noise about? If one says a single +word to you, you answer back with ten. Go and fetch me a candle to seal +a letter with. And mind you bring a TALLOW candle, for it will not cost +so much as the other sort. And bring me a match too.” + +Mavra departed, and Plushkin, seating himself, and taking up a pen, sat +turning the sheet of paper over and over, as though in doubt whether +to tear from it yet another morsel. At length he came to the conclusion +that it was impossible to do so, and therefore, dipping the pen into the +mixture of mouldy fluid and dead flies which the ink bottle contained, +started to indite the letter in characters as bold as the notes of a +music score, while momentarily checking the speed of his hand, lest it +should meander too much over the paper, and crawling from line to line +as though he regretted that there was so little vacant space left on the +sheet. + +“And do you happen to know any one to whom a few runaway serfs would be +of use?” he asked as subsequently he folded the letter. + +“What? You have some runaways as well?” exclaimed Chichikov, again +greatly interested. + +“Certainly I have. My son-in-law has laid the necessary information +against them, but says that their tracks have grown cold. However, he is +only a military man--that is to say, good at clinking a pair of spurs, +but of no use for laying a plea before a court.” + +“And how many runaways have you?” + +“About seventy.” + +“Surely not?” + +“Alas, yes. Never does a year pass without a certain number of them +making off. Yet so gluttonous and idle are my serfs that they are simply +bursting with food, whereas I scarcely get enough to eat. I will take +any price for them that you may care to offer. Tell your friends about +it, and, should they find even a score of the runaways, it will repay +them handsomely, seeing that a living serf on the census list is at +present worth five hundred roubles.” + +“Perhaps so, but I am not going to let any one but myself have a finger +in this,” thought Chichikov to himself; after which he explained to +Plushkin that a friend of the kind mentioned would be impossible to +discover, since the legal expenses of the enterprise would lead to the +said friend having to cut the very tail from his coat before he would +get clear of the lawyers. + +“Nevertheless,” added Chichikov, “seeing that you are so hard pressed +for money, and that I am so interested in the matter, I feel moved to +advance you--well, to advance you such a trifle as would scarcely be +worth mentioning.” + +“But how much is it?” asked Plushkin eagerly, and with his hands +trembling like quicksilver. + +“Twenty-five kopecks per soul.” + +“What? In ready money?” + +“Yes--in money down.” + +“Nevertheless, consider my poverty, dear friend, and make it FORTY +kopecks per soul.” + +“Venerable sir, would that I could pay you not merely forty kopecks, +but five hundred roubles. I should be only too delighted if that were +possible, since I perceive that you, an aged and respected gentleman, +are suffering for your own goodness of heart.” + +“By God, that is true, that is true.” Plushkin hung his head, and wagged +it feebly from side to side. “Yes, all that I have done I have done +purely out of kindness.” + +“See how instantaneously I have divined your nature! By now it will have +become clear to you why it is impossible for me to pay you five hundred +roubles per runaway soul: for by now you will have gathered the fact +that I am not sufficiently rich. Nevertheless, I am ready to add another +five kopecks, and so to make it that each runaway serf shall cost me, in +all, thirty kopecks.” + +“As you please, dear sir. Yet stretch another point, and throw in +another two kopecks.” + +“Pardon me, but I cannot. How many runaway serfs did you say that you +possess? Seventy?” + +“No; seventy-eight.” + +“Seventy-eight souls at thirty kopecks each will amount to--to--” only +for a moment did our hero halt, since he was strong in his arithmetic, +“--will amount to twenty-four roubles, ninety-six kopecks.” [28] + +With that he requested Plushkin to make out the receipt, and then handed +him the money. Plushkin took it in both hands, bore it to a bureau with +as much caution as though he were carrying a liquid which might at any +moment splash him in the face, and, arrived at the bureau, and glancing +round once more, carefully packed the cash in one of his money bags, +where, doubtless, it was destined to lie buried until, to the intense +joy of his daughters and his son-in-law (and, perhaps, of the captain +who claimed kinship with him), he should himself receive burial at the +hands of Fathers Carp and Polycarp, the two priests attached to his +village. Lastly, the money concealed, Plushkin re-seated himself in the +armchair, and seemed at a loss for further material for conversation. + +“Are you thinking of starting?” at length he inquired, on seeing +Chichikov making a trifling movement, though the movement was only +to extract from his pocket a handkerchief. Nevertheless the question +reminded Chichikov that there was no further excuse for lingering. + +“Yes, I must be going,” he said as he took his hat. + +“Then what about the tea?” + +“Thank you, I will have some on my next visit.” + +“What? Even though I have just ordered the samovar to be got ready? +Well, well! I myself do not greatly care for tea, for I think it an +expensive beverage. Moreover, the price of sugar has risen terribly.” + +“Proshka!” he then shouted. “The samovar will not be needed. Return the +sugar to Mavra, and tell her to put it back again. But no. Bring the +sugar here, and _I_ will put it back.” + +“Good-bye, dear sir,” finally he added to Chichikov. “May the Lord bless +you! Hand that letter to the President of the Council, and let him +read it. Yes, he is an old friend of mine. We knew one another as +schoolfellows.” + +With that this strange phenomenon, this withered old man, escorted his +guest to the gates of the courtyard, and, after the guest had departed, +ordered the gates to be closed, made the round of the outbuildings for +the purpose of ascertaining whether the numerous watchmen were at their +posts, peered into the kitchen (where, under the pretence of seeing +whether his servants were being properly fed, he made a light meal +of cabbage soup and gruel), rated the said servants soundly for their +thievishness and general bad behaviour, and then returned to his room. +Meditating in solitude, he fell to thinking how best he could contrive +to recompense his guest for the latter’s measureless benevolence. “I +will present him,” he thought to himself, “with a watch. It is a good +silver article--not one of those cheap metal affairs; and though it +has suffered some damage, he can easily get that put right. A young man +always needs to give a watch to his betrothed.” + +“No,” he added after further thought. “I will leave him the watch in my +will, as a keepsake.” + +Meanwhile our hero was bowling along in high spirit. Such an unexpected +acquisition both of dead souls and of runaway serfs had come as +a windfall. Even before reaching Plushkin’s village he had had a +presentiment that he would do successful business there, but not +business of such pre-eminent profitableness as had actually resulted. +As he proceeded he whistled, hummed with hand placed trumpetwise to his +mouth, and ended by bursting into a burst of melody so striking that +Selifan, after listening for a while, nodded his head and exclaimed, “My +word, but the master CAN sing!” + +By the time they reached the town darkness had fallen, and changed the +character of the scene. The britchka bounded over the cobblestones, and +at length turned into the hostelry’s courtyard, where the travellers +were met by Petrushka. With one hand holding back the tails of his coat +(which he never liked to see fly apart), the valet assisted his +master to alight. The waiter ran out with candle in hand and napkin on +shoulder. Whether or not Petrushka was glad to see the barin return +it is impossible to say, but at all events he exchanged a wink with +Selifan, and his ordinarily morose exterior seemed momentarily to +brighten. + +“Then you have been travelling far, sir?” said the waiter, as he lit the +way upstarts. + +“Yes,” said Chichikov. “What has happened here in the meanwhile?” + +“Nothing, sir,” replied the waiter, bowing, “except that last night +there arrived a military lieutenant. He has got room number sixteen.” + +“A lieutenant?” + +“Yes. He came from Riazan, driving three grey horses.” + +On entering his room, Chichikov clapped his hand to his nose, and asked +his valet why he had never had the windows opened. + +“But I did have them opened,” replied Petrushka. Nevertheless this was +a lie, as Chichikov well knew, though he was too tired to contest the +point. After ordering and consuming a light supper of sucking pig, he +undressed, plunged beneath the bedclothes, and sank into the profound +slumber which comes only to such fortunate folk as are troubled neither +with mosquitoes nor fleas nor excessive activity of brain. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +When Chichikov awoke he stretched himself and realised that he had slept +well. For a moment or two he lay on his back, and then suddenly clapped +his hands at the recollection that he was now owner of nearly four +hundred souls. At once he leapt out of bed without so much as glancing +at his face in the mirror, though, as a rule, he had much solicitude for +his features, and especially for his chin, of which he would make the +most when in company with friends, and more particularly should any one +happen to enter while he was engaged in the process of shaving. “Look +how round my chin is!” was his usual formula. On the present occasion, +however, he looked neither at chin nor at any other feature, but at once +donned his flower-embroidered slippers of morroco leather (the kind +of slippers in which, thanks to the Russian love for a dressing-gowned +existence, the town of Torzhok does such a huge trade), and, clad only +in a meagre shirt, so far forgot his elderliness and dignity as to cut +a couple of capers after the fashion of a Scottish highlander--alighting +neatly, each time, on the flat of his heels. Only when he had done that +did he proceed to business. Planting himself before his dispatch-box, +he rubbed his hands with a satisfaction worthy of an incorruptible rural +magistrate when adjourning for luncheon; after which he extracted from +the receptacle a bundle of papers. These he had decided not to deposit +with a lawyer, for the reason that he would hasten matters, as well as +save expense, by himself framing and fair-copying the necessary deeds +of indenture; and since he was thoroughly acquainted with the necessary +terminology, he proceeded to inscribe in large characters the date, and +then in smaller ones, his name and rank. By two o’clock the whole was +finished, and as he looked at the sheets of names representing bygone +peasants who had ploughed, worked at handicrafts, cheated their masters, +fetched, carried, and got drunk (though SOME of them may have behaved +well), there came over him a strange, unaccountable sensation. To his +eye each list of names seemed to possess a character of its own; +and even individual peasants therein seemed to have taken on certain +qualities peculiar to themselves. For instance, to the majority of +Madame Korobotchka’s serfs there were appended nicknames and other +additions; Plushkin’s list was distinguished by a conciseness of +exposition which had led to certain of the items being represented +merely by Christian name, patronymic, and a couple of dots; +and Sobakevitch’s list was remarkable for its amplitude and +circumstantiality, in that not a single peasant had such of his peculiar +characteristics omitted as that the deceased had been “excellent at +joinery,” or “sober and ready to pay attention to his work.” Also, in +Sobakevitch’s list there was recorded who had been the father and +the mother of each of the deceased, and how those parents had behaved +themselves. Only against the name of a certain Thedotov was there +inscribed: “Father unknown, Mother the maidservant Kapitolina, Morals +and Honesty good.” These details communicated to the document a certain +air of freshness, they seemed to connote that the peasants in question +had lived but yesterday. As Chichikov scanned the list he felt softened +in spirit, and said with a sigh: + +“My friends, what a concourse of you is here! How did you all pass your +lives, my brethren? And how did you all come to depart hence?” + +As he spoke his eyes halted at one name in particular--that of the same +Peter Saveliev Neuvazhai Korito who had once been the property of the +window Korobotchka. Once more he could not help exclaiming: + +“What a series of titles! They occupy a whole line! Peter Saveliev, I +wonder whether you were an artisan or a plain muzhik. Also, I wonder how +you came to meet your end; whether in a tavern, or whether through going +to sleep in the middle of the road and being run over by a train of +waggons. Again, I see the name, ‘Probka Stepan, carpenter, very sober.’ +That must be the hero of whom the Guards would have been so glad to get +hold. How well I can imagine him tramping the country with an axe in his +belt and his boots on his shoulder, and living on a few groats’-worth +of bread and dried fish per day, and taking home a couple of half-rouble +pieces in his purse, and sewing the notes into his breeches, or stuffing +them into his boots! In what manner came you by your end, Probka Stepan? +Did you, for good wages, mount a scaffold around the cupola of the +village church, and, climbing thence to the cross above, miss your +footing on a beam, and fall headlong with none at hand but Uncle +Michai--the good uncle who, scratching the back of his neck, and +muttering, ‘Ah, Vania, for once you have been too clever!’ straightway +lashed himself to a rope, and took your place? ‘Maksim Teliatnikov, +shoemaker.’ A shoemaker, indeed? ‘As drunk as a shoemaker,’ says the +proverb. _I_ know what you were like, my friend. If you wish, I will +tell you your whole history. You were apprenticed to a German, who fed +you and your fellows at a common table, thrashed you with a strap, +kept you indoors whenever you had made a mistake, and spoke of you in +uncomplimentary terms to his wife and friends. At length, when your +apprenticeship was over, you said to yourself, ‘I am going to set up +on my own account, and not just to scrape together a kopeck here and a +kopeck there, as the Germans do, but to grow rich quick.’ Hence you took +a shop at a high rent, bespoke a few orders, and set to work to buy up +some rotten leather out of which you could make, on each pair of boots, +a double profit. But those boots split within a fortnight, and brought +down upon your head dire showers of maledictions; with the result that +gradually your shop grew empty of customers, and you fell to roaming +the streets and exclaiming, ‘The world is a very poor place indeed! +A Russian cannot make a living for German competition.’ Well, well! +‘Elizabeta Vorobei!’ But that is a WOMAN’S name! How comes SHE to be on +the list? That villain Sobakevitch must have sneaked her in without my +knowing it.” + +“‘Grigori Goiezhai-ne-Doiedesh,’” he went on. “What sort of a man were +YOU, I wonder? Were you a carrier who, having set up a team of three +horses and a tilt waggon, left your home, your native hovel, for ever, +and departed to cart merchandise to market? Was it on the highway that +you surrendered your soul to God, or did your friends first marry you +to some fat, red-faced soldier’s daughter; after which your harness and +team of rough, but sturdy, horses caught a highwayman’s fancy, and you, +lying on your pallet, thought things over until, willy-nilly, you felt +that you must get up and make for the tavern, thereafter blundering into +an icehole? Ah, our peasant of Russia! Never do you welcome death when +it comes!” + +“And you, my friends?” continued Chichikov, turning to the sheet whereon +were inscribed the names of Plushkin’s absconded serfs. “Although you +are still alive, what is the good of you? You are practically dead. +Whither, I wonder, have your fugitive feet carried you? Did you fare +hardly at Plushkin’s, or was it that your natural inclinations led you +to prefer roaming the wilds and plundering travellers? Are you, by this +time, in gaol, or have you taken service with other masters for the +tillage of their lands? ‘Eremei Kariakin, Nikita Volokita and Anton +Volokita (son of the foregoing).’ To judge from your surnames, you would +seem to have been born gadabouts [29]. ‘Popov, household serf.’ Probably +you are an educated man, good Popov, and go in for polite thieving, as +distinguished from the more vulgar cut-throat sort. In my mind’s eye I +seem to see a Captain of Rural Police challenging you for being without +a passport; whereupon you stake your all upon a single throw. ‘To whom +do you belong?’ asks the Captain, probably adding to his question a +forcible expletive. ‘To such and such a landowner,’ stoutly you reply. +‘And what are you doing here?’ continues the Captain. ‘I have +just received permission to go and earn my obrok,’ is your fluent +explanation. ‘Then where is your passport?’ ‘At Miestchanin [30] +Pimenov’s.’ ‘Pimenov’s? Then are you Pimenov himself?’ ‘Yes, I am +Pimenov himself.’ ‘He has given you his passport?’ ‘No, he has not given +me his passport.’ ‘Come, come!’ shouts the Captain with another forcible +expletive. ‘You are lying!’ ‘No, I am not,’ is your dogged reply. ‘It is +only that last night I could not return him his passport, because I came +home late; so I handed it to Antip Prochorov, the bell-ringer, for him +to take care of.’ ‘Bell-ringer, indeed! Then HE gave you a passport?’ +‘No; I did not receive a passport from him either.’ ‘What?’--and here +the Captain shouts another expletive--‘How dare you keep on lying? Where +is YOUR OWN passport?’ ‘I had one all right,’ you reply cunningly, ‘but +must have dropped it somewhere on the road as I came along.’ ‘And what +about that soldier’s coat?’ asks the Captain with an impolite addition. +‘Whence did you get it? And what of the priest’s cashbox and copper +money?’’ ‘About them I know nothing,’ you reply doggedly. ‘Never at any +time have I committed a theft.’ ‘Then how is it that the coat was found +at your place?’ ‘I do not know. Probably some one else put it there.’ +‘You rascal, you rascal!’ shouts the Captain, shaking his head, and +closing in upon you. ‘Put the leg-irons upon him, and off with him to +prison!’ ‘With pleasure,’ you reply as, taking a snuff-box from your +pocket, you offer a pinch to each of the two gendarmes who are manacling +you, while also inquiring how long they have been discharged from the +army, and in what wars they may have served. And in prison you remain +until your case comes on, when the justice orders you to be removed from +Tsarev-Kokshaika to such and such another prison, and a second justice +orders you to be transferred thence to Vesiegonsk or somewhere else, and +you go flitting from gaol to gaol, and saying each time, as you eye your +new habitation, ‘The last place was a good deal cleaner than this one +is, and one could play babki [31] there, and stretch one’s legs, and see +a little society.’” + +“‘Abakum Thirov,’” Chichikov went on after a pause. “What of YOU, +brother? Where, and in what capacity, are YOU disporting yourself? +Have you gone to the Volga country, and become bitten with the life of +freedom, and joined the fishermen of the river?” + +Here, breaking off, Chichikov relapsed into silent meditation. Of what +was he thinking as he sat there? Was he thinking of the fortunes of +Abakum Thirov, or was he meditating as meditates every Russian when his +thoughts once turn to the joys of an emancipated existence? + +“Ah, well!” he sighed, looking at his watch. “It has now gone twelve +o’clock. Why have I so forgotten myself? There is still much to be done, +yet I go shutting myself up and letting my thoughts wander! What a fool +I am!” + +So saying, he exchanged his Scottish costume (of a shirt and nothing +else) for attire of a more European nature; after which he pulled +tight the waistcoat over his ample stomach, sprinkled himself with +eau-de-Cologne, tucked his papers under his arm, took his fur cap, and +set out for the municipal offices, for the purpose of completing the +transfer of souls. The fact that he hurried along was not due to a fear +of being late (seeing that the President of the Local Council was an +intimate acquaintance of his, as well as a functionary who could shorten +or prolong an interview at will, even as Homer’s Zeus was able to +shorten or to prolong a night or a day, whenever it became necessary to +put an end to the fighting of his favourite heroes, or to enable them +to join battle), but rather to a feeling that he would like to have the +affair concluded as quickly as possible, seeing that, throughout, it had +been an anxious and difficult business. Also, he could not get rid of +the idea that his souls were unsubstantial things, and that therefore, +under the circumstances, his shoulders had better be relieved of their +load with the least possible delay. Pulling on his cinnamon-coloured, +bear-lined overcoat as he went, he had just stepped thoughtfully into +the street when he collided with a gentleman dressed in a similar +coat and an ear-lappeted fur cap. Upon that the gentleman uttered an +exclamation. Behold, it was Manilov! At once the friends became folded +in a strenuous embrace, and remained so locked for fully five minutes. +Indeed, the kisses exchanged were so vigorous that both suffered from +toothache for the greater portion of the day. Also, Manilov’s delight +was such that only his nose and lips remained visible--the eyes +completely disappeared. Afterwards he spent about a quarter of an hour +in holding Chichikov’s hand and chafing it vigorously. Lastly, he, in +the most pleasant and exquisite terms possible, intimated to his friend +that he had just been on his way to embrace Paul Ivanovitch; and upon +this followed a compliment of the kind which would more fittingly have +been addressed to a lady who was being asked to accord a partner the +favour of a dance. Chichikov had opened his mouth to reply--though +even HE felt at a loss how to acknowledge what had just been said--when +Manilov cut him short by producing from under his coat a roll of paper +tied with red riband. + +“What have you there?” asked Chichikov. + +“The list of my souls.” + +“Ah!” And as Chichikov unrolled the document and ran his eye over it +he could not but marvel at the elegant neatness with which it had been +inscribed. + +“It is a beautiful piece of writing,” he said. “In fact, there will be +no need to make a copy of it. Also, it has a border around its edge! Who +worked that exquisite border?” + +“Do not ask me,” said Manilov. + +“Did YOU do it?” + +“No; my wife.” + +“Dear, dear!” Chichikov cried. “To think that I should have put her to +so much trouble!” + +“NOTHING could be too much trouble where Paul Ivanovitch is concerned.” + +Chichikov bowed his acknowledgements. Next, on learning that he was +on his way to the municipal offices for the purpose of completing the +transfer, Manilov expressed his readiness to accompany him; wherefore +the pair linked arm in arm and proceeded together. Whenever they +encountered a slight rise in the ground--even the smallest unevenness +or difference of level--Manilov supported Chichikov with such energy as +almost to lift him off his feet, while accompanying the service with a +smiling implication that not if HE could help it should Paul Ivanovitch +slip or fall. Nevertheless this conduct appeared to embarrass Chichikov, +either because he could not find any fitting words of gratitude or +because he considered the proceeding tiresome; and it was with a +sense of relief that he debouched upon the square where the municipal +offices--a large, three-storied building of a chalky whiteness which +probably symbolised the purity of the souls engaged within--were +situated. No other building in the square could vie with them in size, +seeing that the remaining edifices consisted only of a sentry-box, a +shelter for two or three cabmen, and a long hoarding--the latter adorned +with the usual bills, posters, and scrawls in chalk and charcoal. At +intervals, from the windows of the second and third stories of the +municipal offices, the incorruptible heads of certain of the attendant +priests of Themis would peer quickly forth, and as quickly disappear +again--probably for the reason that a superior official had just entered +the room. Meanwhile the two friends ascended the staircase--nay, almost +flew up it, since, longing to get rid of Manilov’s ever-supporting +arm, Chichikov hastened his steps, and Manilov kept darting forward to +anticipate any possible failure on the part of his companion’s legs. +Consequently the pair were breathless when they reached the first +corridor. In passing it may be remarked that neither corridors nor rooms +evinced any of that cleanliness and purity which marked the exterior of +the building, for such attributes were not troubled about within, and +anything that was dirty remained so, and donned no meritricious, purely +external, disguise. It was as though Themis received her visitors in +neglige and a dressing-gown. The author would also give a description of +the various offices through which our hero passed, were it not that he +(the author) stands in awe of such legal haunts. + +Approaching the first desk which he happened to encounter, Chichikov +inquired of the two young officials who were seated at it whether they +would kindly tell him where business relating to serf-indenture was +transacted. + +“Of what nature, precisely, IS your business?” countered one of the +youthful officials as he turned himself round. + +“I desire to make an application.” + +“In connection with a purchase?” + +“Yes. But, as I say, I should like first to know where I can find the +desk devoted to such business. Is it here or elsewhere?” + +“You must state what it is you have bought, and for how much. THEN we +shall be happy to give you the information.” + +Chichikov perceived that the officials’ motive was merely one of +curiosity, as often happens when young tchinovniks desire to cut a more +important and imposing figure than is rightfully theirs. + +“Look here, young sirs,” he said. “I know for a fact that all serf +business, no matter to what value, is transacted at one desk alone. +Consequently I again request you to direct me to that desk. Of course, +if you do not know your business I can easily ask some one else.” + +To this the tchinovniks made no reply beyond pointing towards a corner +of the room where an elderly man appeared to be engaged in sorting some +papers. Accordingly Chichikov and Manilov threaded their way in his +direction through the desks; whereupon the elderly man became violently +busy. + +“Would you mind telling me,” said Chichikov, bowing, “whether this is +the desk for serf affairs?” + +The elderly man raised his eyes, and said stiffly: + +“This is NOT the desk for serf affairs.” + +“Where is it, then?” + +“In the Serf Department.” + +“And where might the Serf Department be?” + +“In charge of Ivan Antonovitch.” + +“And where is Ivan Antonovitch?” + +The elderly man pointed to another corner of the room; whither +Chichikov and Manilov next directed their steps. As they advanced, Ivan +Antonovitch cast an eye backwards and viewed them askance. Then, with +renewed ardour, he resumed his work of writing. + +“Would you mind telling me,” said Chichikov, bowing, “whether this is +the desk for serf affairs?” + +It appeared as though Ivan Antonovitch had not heard, so completely did +he bury himself in his papers and return no reply. Instantly it became +plain that HE at least was of an age of discretion, and not one of your +jejune chatterboxes and harum-scarums; for, although his hair was still +thick and black, he had long ago passed his fortieth year. His whole +face tended towards the nose--it was what, in common parlance, is known +as a “pitcher-mug.” + +“Would you mind telling me,” repeated Chichikov, “whether this is the +desk for serf affairs?” + +“It is that,” said Ivan Antonovitch, again lowering his jug-shaped jowl, +and resuming his writing. + +“Then I should like to transact the following business. From various +landowners in this canton I have purchased a number of peasants for +transfer. Here is the purchase list, and it needs but to be registered.” + +“Have you also the vendors here?” + +“Some of them, and from the rest I have obtained powers of attorney.” + +“And have you your statement of application?” + +“Yes. I desire--indeed, it is necessary for me so to do--to hasten +matters a little. Could the affair, therefore, be carried through +to-day?” + +“To-day? Oh, dear no!” said Ivan Antonovitch. “Before that can be done +you must furnish me with further proofs that no impediments exist.” + +“Then, to expedite matters, let me say that Ivan Grigorievitch, the +President of the Council, is a very intimate friend of mine.” + +“Possibly,” said Ivan Antonovitch without enthusiasm. “But Ivan +Grigorievitch alone will not do--it is customary to have others as +well.” + +“Yes, but the absence of others will not altogether invalidate the +transaction. I too have been in the service, and know how things can be +done.” + +“You had better go and see Ivan Grigorievitch,” said Ivan Antonovitch +more mildly. “Should he give you an order addressed to whom it may +concern, we shall soon be able to settle the matter.” + +Upon that Chichikov pulled from his pocket a paper, and laid it before +Ivan Antonovitch. At once the latter covered it with a book. Chichikov +again attempted to show it to him, but, with a movement of his head, +Ivan Antonovitch signified that that was unnecessary. + +“A clerk,” he added, “will now conduct you to Ivan Grigorievitch’s +room.” + +Upon that one of the toilers in the service of Themis--a zealot who +had offered her such heartfelt sacrifice that his coat had burst at the +elbows and lacked a lining--escorted our friends (even as Virgil had +once escorted Dante) to the apartment of the Presence. In this sanctum +were some massive armchairs, a table laden with two or three fat books, +and a large looking-glass. Lastly, in (apparently) sunlike isolation, +there was seated at the table the President. On arriving at the door of +the apartment, our modern Virgil seemed to have become so overwhelmed +with awe that, without daring even to intrude a foot, he turned back, +and, in so doing, once more exhibited a back as shiny as a mat, and +having adhering to it, in one spot, a chicken’s feather. As soon as the +two friends had entered the hall of the Presence they perceived that the +President was NOT alone, but, on the contrary, had seated by his side +Sobakevitch, whose form had hitherto been concealed by the intervening +mirror. The newcomers’ entry evoked sundry exclamations and the +pushing back of a pair of Government chairs as the voluminous-sleeved +Sobakevitch rose into view from behind the looking-glass. Chichikov +the President received with an embrace, and for a while the hall of +the Presence resounded with osculatory salutations as mutually the pair +inquired after one another’s health. It seemed that both had lately +had a touch of that pain under the waistband which comes of a sedentary +life. Also, it seemed that the President had just been conversing with +Sobakevitch on the subject of sales of souls, since he now proceeded +to congratulate Chichikov on the same--a proceeding which rather +embarrassed our hero, seeing that Manilov and Sobakevitch, two of +the vendors, and persons with whom he had bargained in the strictest +privacy, were now confronting one another direct. However, Chichikov +duly thanked the President, and then, turning to Sobakevitch, inquired +after HIS health. + +“Thank God, I have nothing to complain of,” replied Sobakevitch: which +was true enough, seeing that a piece of iron would have caught cold and +taken to sneezing sooner than would that uncouthly fashioned landowner. + +“Ah, yes; you have always had good health, have you not?” put in the +President. “Your late father was equally strong.” + +“Yes, he even went out bear hunting alone,” replied Sobakevitch. + +“I should think that you too could worst a bear if you were to try a +tussle with him,” rejoined the President. + +“Oh no,” said Sobakevitch. “My father was a stronger man than I am.” + Then with a sigh the speaker added: “But nowadays there are no such men +as he. What is even a life like mine worth?” + +“Then you do not have a comfortable time of it?” exclaimed the +President. + +“No; far from it,” rejoined Sobakevitch, shaking his head. “Judge for +yourself, Ivan Grigorievitch. I am fifty years old, yet never in my life +had been ill, except for an occasional carbuncle or boil. That is not a +good sign. Sooner or later I shall have to pay for it.” And he relapsed +into melancholy. + +“Just listen to the fellow!” was Chichikov’s and the President’s joint +inward comment. “What on earth has HE to complain of?” + +“I have a letter for you, Ivan Grigorievitch,” went on Chichikov aloud +as he produced from his pocket Plushkin’s epistle. + +“From whom?” inquired the President. Having broken the seal, he +exclaimed: “Why, it is from Plushkin! To think that HE is still alive! +What a strange world it is! He used to be such a nice fellow, and now--” + +“And now he is a cur,” concluded Sobakevitch, “as well as a miser who +starves his serfs to death.” + +“Allow me a moment,” said the President. Then he read the letter +through. When he had finished he added: “Yes, I am quite ready to act +as Plushkin’s attorney. When do you wish the purchase deeds to be +registered, Monsieur Chichikov--now or later?” + +“Now, if you please,” replied Chichikov. “Indeed, I beg that, if +possible, the affair may be concluded to-day, since to-morrow I wish to +leave the town. I have brought with me both the forms of indenture and +my statement of application.” + +“Very well. Nevertheless we cannot let you depart so soon. The +indentures shall be completed to-day, but you must continue your sojourn +in our midst. I will issue the necessary orders at once.” + +So saying, he opened the door into the general office, where the clerks +looked like a swarm of bees around a honeycomb (if I may liken affairs +of Government to such an article?). + +“Is Ivan Antonovitch here?” asked the President. + +“Yes,” replied a voice from within. + +“Then send him here.” + +Upon that the pitcher-faced Ivan Antonovitch made his appearance in the +doorway, and bowed. + +“Take these indentures, Ivan Antonovitch,” said the President, “and see +that they--” + +“But first I would ask you to remember,” put in Sobakevitch, “that +witnesses ought to be in attendance--not less than two on behalf of +either party. Let us, therefore, send for the Public Prosecutor, who has +little to do, and has even that little done for him by his chief clerk, +Zolotucha. The Inspector of the Medical Department is also a man of +leisure, and likely to be at home--if he has not gone out to a card +party. Others also there are--all men who cumber the ground for +nothing.” + +“Quite so, quite so,” agreed the President, and at once dispatched a +clerk to fetch the persons named. + +“Also,” requested Chichikov, “I should be glad if you would send for the +accredited representative of a certain lady landowner with whom I have +done business. He is the son of a Father Cyril, and a clerk in your +offices.” + +“Certainly we shall call him here,” replied the President. “Everything +shall be done to meet your convenience, and I forbid you to present any +of our officials with a gratuity. That is a special request on my part. +No friend of mine ever pays a copper.” + +With that he gave Ivan Antonovitch the necessary instructions; and +though they scarcely seemed to meet with that functionary’s approval, +upon the President the purchase deeds had evidently produced an +excellent impression, more especially since the moment when he had +perceived the sum total to amount to nearly a hundred thousand roubles. +For a moment or two he gazed into Chichikov’s eyes with an expression of +profound satisfaction. Then he said: + +“Well done, Paul Ivanovitch! You have indeed made a nice haul!” + +“That is so,” replied Chichikov. + +“Excellent business! Yes, excellent business!” + +“I, too, conceive that I could not well have done better. The truth is +that never until a man has driven home the piles of his life’s structure +upon a lasting bottom, instead of upon the wayward chimeras of youth, +will his aims in life assume a definite end.” And, that said, Chichikov +went on to deliver himself of a very telling indictment of Liberalism +and our modern young men. Yet in his words there seemed to lurk a +certain lack of conviction. Somehow he seemed secretly to be saying to +himself, “My good sir, you are talking the most absolute rubbish, and +nothing but rubbish.” Nor did he even throw a glance at Sobakevitch and +Manilov. It was as though he were uncertain what he might not encounter +in their expression. Yet he need not have been afraid. Never once did +Sobakevitch’s face move a muscle, and, as for Manilov, he was too much +under the spell of Chichikov’s eloquence to do aught beyond nod his +approval at intervals, and strike the kind of attitude which is assumed +by lovers of music when a lady singer has, in rivalry of an accompanying +violin, produced a note whereof the shrillness would exceed even the +capacity of a bird’s throstle. + +“But why not tell Ivan Grigorievitch precisely what you have bought?” + inquired Sobakevitch of Chichikov. “And why, Ivan Grigorievitch, do YOU +not ask Monsieur Chichikov precisely what his purchases have consisted +of? What a splendid lot of serfs, to be sure! I myself have sold him my +wheelwright, Michiev.” + +“What? You have sold him Michiev?” exclaimed the President. “I know the +man well. He is a splendid craftsman, and, on one occasion, made me a +drozhki [32]. Only, only--well, lately didn’t you tell me that he is +dead?” + +“That Michiev is dead?” re-echoed Sobakevitch, coming perilously near +to laughing. “Oh dear no! That was his brother. Michiev himself is very +much alive, and in even better health than he used to be. Any day he +could knock you up a britchka such as you could not procure even in +Moscow. However, he is now bound to work for only one master.” + +“Indeed a splendid craftsman!” repeated the President. “My only wonder +is that you can have brought yourself to part with him.” + +“Then think you that Michiev is the ONLY serf with whom I have parted? +Nay, for I have parted also with Probka Stepan, my carpenter, with +Milushkin, my bricklayer, and with Teliatnikov, my bootmaker. Yes, the +whole lot I have sold.” + +And to the President’s inquiry why he had so acted, seeing that the +serfs named were all skilled workers and indispensable to a household, +Sobakevitch replied that a mere whim had led him to do so, and thus the +sale had owed its origin to a piece of folly. Then he hung his head as +though already repenting of his rash act, and added: + +“Although a man of grey hairs, I have not yet learned wisdom.” + +“But,” inquired the President further, “how comes it about, Paul +Ivanovitch, that you have purchased peasants apart from land? Is it for +transferment elsewhere that you need them?” + +“Yes.” + +“Very well, then. That is quite another matter. To what province of the +country?” + +“To the province of Kherson.” + +“Indeed? That region contains some splendid land,” said the President; +whereupon he proceeded to expatiate on the fertility of the Kherson +pastures. + +“And have you MUCH land there?” he continued. + +“Yes; quite sufficient to accommodate the serfs whom I have purchased.” + +“And is there a river on the estate or a lake?” + +“Both.” + +After this reply Chichikov involuntarily threw a glance at Sobakevitch; +and though that landowner’s face was as motionless as every other, the +other seemed to detect in it: “You liar! Don’t tell ME that you own both +a river and a lake, as well as the land which you say you do.” + +Whilst the foregoing conversation had been in progress, various +witnesses had been arriving on the scene. They consisted of the +constantly blinking Public Prosecutor, the Inspector of the Medical +Department, and others--all, to quote Sobakevitch, “men who cumbered +the ground for nothing.” With some of them, however, Chichikov was +altogether unacquainted, since certain substitutes and supernumeraries +had to be pressed into the service from among the ranks of the +subordinate staff. There also arrived, in answer to the summons, not +only the son of Father Cyril before mentioned, but also Father Cyril +himself. Each such witness appended to his signature a full list of his +dignities and qualifications: one man in printed characters, another in +a flowing hand, a third in topsy-turvy characters of a kind never before +seen in the Russian alphabet, and so forth. Meanwhile our friend Ivan +Antonovitch comported himself with not a little address; and after the +indentures had been signed, docketed, and registered, Chichikov +found himself called upon to pay only the merest trifle in the way of +Government percentage and fees for publishing the transaction in the +Official Gazette. The reason of this was that the President had given +orders that only half the usual charges were to be exacted from the +present purchaser--the remaining half being somehow debited to the +account of another applicant for serf registration. + +“And now,” said Ivan Grigorievitch when all was completed, “we need only +to wet the bargain.” + +“For that too I am ready,” said Chichikov. “Do you but name the hour. +If, in return for your most agreeable company, I were not to set a few +champagne corks flying, I should be indeed in default.” + +“But we are not going to let you charge yourself with anything +whatsoever. WE must provide the champagne, for you are our guest, and +it is for us--it is our duty, it is our bounden obligation--to entertain +you. Look here, gentlemen. Let us adjourn to the house of the Chief +of Police. He is the magician who needs but to wink when passing a +fishmonger’s or a wine merchant’s. Not only shall we fare well at his +place, but also we shall get a game of whist.” + +To this proposal no one had any objection to offer, for the mere mention +of the fish shop aroused the witnesses’ appetite. Consequently, the +ceremony being over, there was a general reaching for hats and caps. +As the party were passing through the general office, Ivan Antonovitch +whispered in Chichikov’s ear, with a courteous inclination of his +jug-shaped physiognomy: + +“You have given a hundred thousand roubles for the serfs, but have paid +ME only a trifle for my trouble.” + +“Yes,” replied Chichikov with a similar whisper, “but what sort of serfs +do you suppose them to be? They are a poor, useless lot, and not worth +even half the purchase money.” + +This gave Ivan Antonovitch to understand that the visitor was a man of +strong character--a man from whom nothing more was to be expected. + +“Why have you gone and purchased souls from Plushkin?” whispered +Sobakevitch in Chichikov’s other ear. + +“Why did YOU go and add the woman Vorobei to your list?” retorted +Chichikov. + +“Vorobei? Who is Vorobei?” + +“The woman ‘Elizabet’ Vorobei--‘Elizabet,’ not ‘Elizabeta?’” + +“I added no such name,” replied Sobakevitch, and straightway joined the +other guests. + +At length the party arrived at the residence of the Chief of Police. The +latter proved indeed a man of spells, for no sooner had he learnt what +was afoot than he summoned a brisk young constable, whispered in his +ear, adding laconically, “You understand, do you not?” and brought it +about that, during the time that the guests were cutting for partners at +whist in an adjoining room, the dining-table became laden with sturgeon, +caviare, salmon, herrings, cheese, smoked tongue, fresh roe, and a +potted variety of the same--all procured from the local fish market, and +reinforced with additions from the host’s own kitchen. The fact was that +the worthy Chief of Police filled the office of a sort of father and +general benefactor to the town, and that he moved among the citizens as +though they constituted part and parcel of his own family, and watched +over their shops and markets as though those establishments were +merely his own private larder. Indeed, it would be difficult to say--so +thoroughly did he perform his duties in this respect--whether the post +most fitted him, or he the post. Matters were also so arranged that +though his income more than doubled that of his predecessors, he had +never lost the affection of his fellow townsmen. In particular did the +tradesmen love him, since he was never above standing godfather to their +children or dining at their tables. True, he had differences of opinion +with them, and serious differences at that; but always these were +skilfully adjusted by his slapping the offended ones jovially on the +shoulder, drinking a glass of tea with them, promising to call at their +houses and play a game of chess, asking after their belongings, and, +should he learn that a child of theirs was ill, prescribing the proper +medicine. In short, he bore the reputation of being a very good fellow. + +On perceiving the feast to be ready, the host proposed that his guests +should finish their whist after luncheon; whereupon all proceeded to the +room whence for some time past an agreeable odour had been tickling the +nostrils of those present, and towards the door of which Sobakevitch in +particular had been glancing since the moment when he had caught sight +of a huge sturgeon reposing on the sideboard. After a glassful of warm, +olive-coloured vodka apiece--vodka of the tint to be seen only in the +species of Siberian stone whereof seals are cut--the company applied +themselves to knife-and-fork work, and, in so doing, evinced their +several characteristics and tastes. For instance, Sobakevitch, +disdaining lesser trifles, tackled the large sturgeon, and, during the +time that his fellow guests were eating minor comestibles, and drinking +and talking, contrived to consume more than a quarter of the whole fish; +so that, on the host remembering the creature, and, with fork in hand, +leading the way in its direction and saying, “What, gentlemen, think you +of this striking product of nature?” there ensued the discovery that of +the said product of nature there remained little beyond the tail, while +Sobakevitch, with an air as though at least HE had not eaten it, was +engaged in plunging his fork into a much more diminutive piece of fish +which happened to be resting on an adjacent platter. After his divorce +from the sturgeon, Sobakevitch ate and drank no more, but sat frowning +and blinking in an armchair. + +Apparently the host was not a man who believed in sparing the wine, for +the toasts drunk were innumerable. The first toast (as the reader may +guess) was quaffed to the health of the new landowner of Kherson; the +second to the prosperity of his peasants and their safe transferment; +and the third to the beauty of his future wife--a compliment which +brought to our hero’s lips a flickering smile. Lastly, he received from +the company a pressing, as well as an unanimous, invitation to extend +his stay in town for at least another fortnight, and, in the meanwhile, +to allow a wife to be found for him. + +“Quite so,” agreed the President. “Fight us tooth and nail though you +may, we intend to have you married. You have happened upon us by chance, +and you shall have no reason to repent of it. We are in earnest on this +subject.” + +“But why should I fight you tooth and nail?” said Chichikov, smiling. +“Marriage would not come amiss to me, were I but provided with a +betrothed.” + +“Then a betrothed you shall have. Why not? We will do as you wish.” + +“Very well,” assented Chichikov. + +“Bravo, bravo!” the company shouted. “Long live Paul Ivanovitch! Hurrah! +Hurrah!” And with that every one approached to clink glasses with him, +and he readily accepted the compliment, and accepted it many times in +succession. Indeed, as the hours passed on, the hilarity of the company +increased yet further, and more than once the President (a man of great +urbanity when thoroughly in his cups) embraced the chief guest of the +day with the heartfelt words, “My dearest fellow! My own most precious +of friends!” Nay, he even started to crack his fingers, to dance around +Chichikov’s chair, and to sing snatches of a popular song. To the +champagne succeeded Hungarian wine, which had the effect of still +further heartening and enlivening the company. By this time every +one had forgotten about whist, and given himself up to shouting and +disputing. Every conceivable subject was discussed, including politics +and military affairs; and in this connection guests voiced jejune +opinions for the expression of which they would, at any other time, have +soundly spanked their offspring. Chichikov, like the rest, had never +before felt so gay, and, imagining himself really and truly to be a +landowner of Kherson, spoke of various improvements in agriculture, of +the three-field system of tillage [33], and of the beatific felicity of +a union between two kindred souls. Also, he started to recite poetry to +Sobakevitch, who blinked as he listened, for he greatly desired to go to +sleep. At length the guest of the evening realised that matters had gone +far enough, so begged to be given a lift home, and was accommodated with +the Public Prosecutor’s drozhki. Luckily the driver of the vehicle was +a practised man at his work, for, while driving with one hand, he +succeeded in leaning backwards and, with the other, holding Chichikov +securely in his place. Arrived at the inn, our hero continued babbling +awhile about a flaxen-haired damsel with rosy lips and a dimple in her +right cheek, about villages of his in Kherson, and about the amount of +his capital. Nay, he even issued seignorial instructions that Selifan +should go and muster the peasants about to be transferred, and make a +complete and detailed inventory of them. For a while Selifan listened +in silence; then he left the room, and instructed Petrushka to help the +barin to undress. As it happened, Chichikov’s boots had no sooner +been removed than he managed to perform the rest of his toilet without +assistance, to roll on to the bed (which creaked terribly as he did so), +and to sink into a sleep in every way worthy of a landowner of Kherson. +Meanwhile Petrushka had taken his master’s coat and trousers of +bilberry-coloured check into the corridor; where, spreading them over a +clothes’ horse, he started to flick and to brush them, and to fill the +whole corridor with dust. Just as he was about to replace them in his +master’s room he happened to glance over the railing of the gallery, and +saw Selifan returning from the stable. Glances were exchanged, and in +an instant the pair had arrived at an instinctive understanding--an +understanding to the effect that the barin was sound asleep, and that +therefore one might consider one’s own pleasure a little. Accordingly +Petrushka proceeded to restore the coat and trousers to their appointed +places, and then descended the stairs; whereafter he and Selifan left +the house together. Not a word passed between them as to the object +of their expedition. On the contrary, they talked solely of extraneous +subjects. Yet their walk did not take them far; it took them only to +the other side of the street, and thence into an establishment which +immediately confronted the inn. Entering a mean, dirty courtyard covered +with glass, they passed thence into a cellar where a number of customers +were seated around small wooden tables. What thereafter was done by +Selifan and Petrushka God alone knows. At all events, within an hour’s +time they issued, arm in arm, and in profound silence, yet remaining +markedly assiduous to one another, and ever ready to help one another +around an awkward corner. Still linked together--never once releasing +their mutual hold--they spent the next quarter of an hour in attempting +to negotiate the stairs of the inn; but at length even that ascent had +been mastered, and they proceeded further on their way. Halting +before his mean little pallet, Petrushka stood awhile in thought. His +difficulty was how best to assume a recumbent position. Eventually he +lay down on his face, with his legs trailing over the floor; after which +Selifan also stretched himself upon the pallet, with his head resting +upon Petrushka’s stomach, and his mind wholly oblivious of the fact that +he ought not to have been sleeping there at all, but in the servant’s +quarters, or in the stable beside his horses. Scarcely a moment had +passed before the pair were plunged in slumber and emitting the most +raucous snores; to which their master (next door) responded with snores +of a whistling and nasal order. Indeed, before long every one in the +inn had followed their soothing example, and the hostelry lay plunged +in complete restfulness. Only in the window of the room of the +newly-arrived lieutenant from Riazan did a light remain burning. +Evidently he was a devotee of boots, for he had purchased four pairs, +and was now trying on a fifth. Several times he approached the bed with +a view to taking off the boots and retiring to rest; but each time he +failed, for the reason that the boots were so alluring in their make +that he had no choice but to lift up first one foot, and then the other, +for the purpose of scanning their elegant welts. + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +It was not long before Chichikov’s purchases had become the talk of the +town; and various were the opinions expressed as to whether or not it +was expedient to procure peasants for transferment. Indeed such was the +interest taken by certain citizens in the matter that they advised the +purchaser to provide himself and his convoy with an escort, in order +to ensure their safe arrival at the appointed destination; but though +Chichikov thanked the donors of this advice for the same, and declared +that he should be very glad, in case of need, to avail himself of it, he +declared also that there was no real need for an escort, seeing that the +peasants whom he had purchased were exceptionally peace-loving folk, +and that, being themselves consenting parties to the transferment, they +would undoubtedly prove in every way tractable. + +One particularly good result of this advertisement of his scheme was +that he came to rank as neither more nor less than a millionaire. +Consequently, much as the inhabitants had liked our hero in the first +instance (as seen in Chapter I.), they now liked him more than ever. +As a matter of fact, they were citizens of an exceptionally quiet, +good-natured, easy-going disposition; and some of them were even +well-educated. For instance, the President of the Local Council could +recite the whole of Zhukovski’s LUDMILLA by heart, and give such an +impressive rendering of the passage “The pine forest was asleep and the +valley at rest” (as well as of the exclamation “Phew!”) that one felt, +as he did so, that the pine forest and the valley really WERE as he +described them. The effect was also further heightened by the manner in +which, at such moments, he assumed the most portentous frown. For his +part, the Postmaster went in more for philosophy, and diligently perused +such works as Young’s Night Thoughts, and Eckharthausen’s A Key to +the Mysteries of Nature; of which latter work he would make copious +extracts, though no one had the slightest notion what they referred +to. For the rest, he was a witty, florid little individual, and much +addicted to a practice of what he called “embellishing” whatsoever he +had to say--a feat which he performed with the aid of such by-the-way +phrases as “my dear sir,” “my good So-and-So,” “you know,” “you +understand,” “you may imagine,” “relatively speaking,” “for instance,” + and “et cetera”; of which phrases he would add sackfuls to his +speech. He could also “embellish” his words by the simple expedient of +half-closing, half-winking one eye; which trick communicated to some of +his satirical utterances quite a mordant effect. Nor were his colleagues +a wit inferior to him in enlightenment. For instance, one of them made +a regular practice of reading Karamzin, another of conning the Moscow +Gazette, and a third of never looking at a book at all. Likewise, +although they were the sort of men to whom, in their more intimate +movements, their wives would very naturally address such nicknames +as “Toby Jug,” “Marmot,” “Fatty,” “Pot Belly,” “Smutty,” “Kiki,” and +“Buzz-Buzz,” they were men also of good heart, and very ready to extend +their hospitality and their friendship when once a guest had eaten +of their bread and salt, or spent an evening in their company. +Particularly, therefore, did Chichikov earn these good folk’s approval +with his taking methods and qualities--so much so that the expression +of that approval bid fair to make it difficult for him to quit the town, +seeing that, wherever he went, the one phrase dinned into his ears was +“Stay another week with us, Paul Ivanovitch.” In short, he ceased to +be a free agent. But incomparably more striking was the impression +(a matter for unbounded surprise!) which he produced upon the ladies. +Properly to explain this phenomenon I should need to say a great deal +about the ladies themselves, and to describe in the most vivid of +colours their social intercourse and spiritual qualities. Yet this would +be a difficult thing for me to do, since, on the one hand, I should be +hampered by my boundless respect for the womenfolk of all Civil +Service officials, and, on the other hand--well, simply by the innate +arduousness of the task. The ladies of N. were--But no, I cannot do +it; my heart has already failed me. Come, come! The ladies of N. were +distinguished for--But it is of no use; somehow my pen seems to refuse +to move over the paper--it seems to be weighted as with a plummet +of lead. Very well. That being so, I will merely say a word or +two concerning the most prominent tints on the feminine palette of +N.--merely a word or two concerning the outward appearance of +its ladies, and a word or two concerning their more superficial +characteristics. The ladies of N. were pre-eminently what is known as +“presentable.” Indeed, in that respect they might have served as a +model to the ladies of many another town. That is to say, in whatever +pertained to “tone,” etiquette, the intricacies of decorum, and strict +observance of the prevailing mode, they surpassed even the ladies of +Moscow and St. Petersburg, seeing that they dressed with taste, drove +about in carriages in the latest fashions, and never went out without +the escort of a footman in gold-laced livery. Again, they looked upon +a visiting card--even upon a make-shift affair consisting of an ace of +diamonds or a two of clubs--as a sacred thing; so sacred that on one +occasion two closely related ladies who had also been closely attached +friends were known to fall out with one another over the mere fact of an +omission to return a social call! Yes, in spite of the best efforts +of husbands and kinsfolk to reconcile the antagonists, it became clear +that, though all else in the world might conceivably be possible, never +could the hatchet be buried between ladies who had quarrelled over +a neglected visit. Likewise strenuous scenes used to take place over +questions of precedence--scenes of a kind which had the effect of +inspiring husbands to great and knightly ideas on the subject of +protecting the fair. True, never did a duel actually take place, since +all the husbands were officials belonging to the Civil Service; but at +least a given combatant would strive to heap contumely upon his rival, +and, as we all know, that is a resource which may prove even more +effectual than a duel. As regards morality, the ladies of N. were +nothing if not censorious, and would at once be fired with virtuous +indignation when they heard of a case of vice or seduction. Nay, even to +mere frailty they would award the lash without mercy. On the other hand, +should any instance of what they called “third personism” occur among +THEIR OWN circle, it was always kept dark--not a hint of what was going +on being allowed to transpire, and even the wronged husband holding +himself ready, should he meet with, or hear of, the “third person,” to +quote, in a mild and rational manner, the proverb, “Whom concerns it +that a friend should consort with friend?” In addition, I may say that, +like most of the female world of St. Petersburg, the ladies of N. were +pre-eminently careful and refined in their choice of words and phrases. +Never did a lady say, “I blew my nose,” or “I perspired,” or “I spat.” + No, it had to be, “I relieved my nose through the expedient of wiping it +with my handkerchief,” and so forth. Again, to say, “This glass, or +this plate, smells badly,” was forbidden. No, not even a hint to such an +effect was to be dropped. Rather, the proper phrase, in such a case, was +“This glass, or this plate, is not behaving very well,”--or some such +formula. + +In fact, to refine the Russian tongue the more thoroughly, something +like half the words in it were cut out: which circumstance necessitated +very frequent recourse to the tongue of France, since the same words, if +spoken in French, were another matter altogether, and one could use even +blunter ones than the ones originally objected to. + +So much for the ladies of N., provided that one confines one’s +observations to the surface; yet hardly need it be said that, should one +penetrate deeper than that, a great deal more would come to light. At +the same time, it is never a very safe proceeding to peer deeply into +the hearts of ladies; wherefore, restricting ourselves to the foregoing +superficialities, let us proceed further on our way. + +Hitherto the ladies had paid Chichikov no particular attention, though +giving him full credit for his gentlemanly and urbane demeanour; but +from the moment that there arose rumours of his being a millionaire +other qualities of his began to be canvassed. Nevertheless, not ALL the +ladies were governed by interested motives, since it is due to the term +“millionaire” rather than to the character of the person who bears it, +that the mere sound of the word exercises upon rascals, upon decent +folk, and upon folk who are neither the one nor the other, an undeniable +influence. A millionaire suffers from the disadvantage of everywhere +having to behold meanness, including the sort of meanness which, though +not actually based upon calculations of self-interest, yet runs after +the wealthy man with smiles, and doffs his hat, and begs for invitations +to houses where the millionaire is known to be going to dine. That +a similar inclination to meanness seized upon the ladies of N. goes +without saying; with the result that many a drawing-room heard it +whispered that, if Chichikov was not exactly a beauty, at least he was +sufficiently good-looking to serve for a husband, though he could have +borne to have been a little more rotund and stout. To that there would +be added scornful references to lean husbands, and hints that they +resembled tooth-brushes rather than men--with many other feminine +additions. Also, such crowds of feminine shoppers began to repair to the +Bazaar as almost to constitute a crush, and something like a procession +of carriages ensued, so long grew the rank of vehicles. For their part, +the tradesmen had the joy of seeing highly priced dress materials which +they had bought at fairs, and then been unable to dispose of, now +suddenly become tradeable, and go off with a rush. For instance, on one +occasion a lady appeared at Mass in a bustle which filled the church to +an extent which led the verger on duty to bid the commoner folk withdraw +to the porch, lest the lady’s toilet should be soiled in the crush. +Even Chichikov could not help privately remarking the attention which he +aroused. On one occasion, when he returned to the inn, he found on +his table a note addressed to himself. Whence it had come, and who had +delivered it, he failed to discover, for the waiter declared that the +person who had brought it had omitted to leave the name of the writer. +Beginning abruptly with the words “I MUST write to you,” the letter went +on to say that between a certain pair of souls there existed a bond of +sympathy; and this verity the epistle further confirmed with rows of +full stops to the extent of nearly half a page. Next there followed a +few reflections of a correctitude so remarkable that I have no choice +but to quote them. “What, I would ask, is this life of ours?” inquired +the writer. “’Tis nought but a vale of woe. And what, I would ask, is +the world? ’Tis nought but a mob of unthinking humanity.” Thereafter, +incidentally remarking that she had just dropped a tear to the memory of +her dear mother, who had departed this life twenty-five years ago, the +(presumably) lady writer invited Chichikov to come forth into the wilds, +and to leave for ever the city where, penned in noisome haunts, folk +could not even draw their breath. In conclusion, the writer gave way to +unconcealed despair, and wound up with the following verses: + + “Two turtle doves to thee, one day, + My dust will show, congealed in death; + And, cooing wearily, they’ll say: + ‘In grief and loneliness she drew her closing breath.’” + +True, the last line did not scan, but that was a trifle, since the +quatrain at least conformed to the mode then prevalent. Neither +signature nor date were appended to the document, but only a postscript +expressing a conjecture that Chichikov’s own heart would tell him who +the writer was, and stating, in addition, that the said writer would be +present at the Governor’s ball on the following night. + +This greatly interested Chichikov. Indeed, there was so much that was +alluring and provocative of curiosity in the anonymous missive that he +read it through a second time, and then a third, and finally said to +himself: “I SHOULD like to know who sent it!” In short, he took the +thing seriously, and spent over an hour in considering the same. At +length, muttering a comment upon the epistle’s efflorescent style, he +refolded the document, and committed it to his dispatch-box in company +with a play-bill and an invitation to a wedding--the latter of which had +for the last seven years reposed in the self-same receptacle and in +the self-same position. Shortly afterwards there arrived a card of +invitation to the Governor’s ball already referred to. In passing, it +may be said that such festivities are not infrequent phenomena in county +towns, for the reason that where Governors exist there must take place +balls if from the local gentry there is to be evoked that respectful +affection which is every Governor’s due. + +Thenceforth all extraneous thoughts and considerations were laid aside +in favour of preparing for the coming function. Indeed, this conjunction +of exciting and provocative motives led to Chichikov devoting to his +toilet an amount of time never witnessed since the creation of the +world. Merely in the contemplation of his features in the mirror, as he +tried to communicate to them a succession of varying expressions, was an +hour spent. First of all he strove to make his features assume an air +of dignity and importance, and then an air of humble, but faintly +satirical, respect, and then an air of respect guiltless of any alloy +whatsoever. Next, he practised performing a series of bows to his +reflection, accompanied with certain murmurs intended to bear a +resemblance to a French phrase (though Chichikov knew not a single word +of the Gallic tongue). Lastly came the performing of a series of what I +might call “agreeable surprises,” in the shape of twitchings of the brow +and lips and certain motions of the tongue. In short, he did all that a +man is apt to do when he is not only alone, but also certain that he is +handsome and that no one is regarding him through a chink. Finally he +tapped himself lightly on the chin, and said, “Ah, good old face!” In +the same way, when he started to dress himself for the ceremony, the +level of his high spirits remained unimpaired throughout the process. +That is to say, while adjusting his braces and tying his tie, he +shuffled his feet in what was not exactly a dance, but might be called +the entr’acte of a dance: which performance had the not very serious +result of setting a wardrobe a-rattle, and causing a brush to slide from +the table to the floor. + +Later, his entry into the ballroom produced an extraordinary effect. +Every one present came forward to meet him, some with cards in their +hands, and one man even breaking off a conversation at the most +interesting point--namely, the point that “the Inferior Land Court must +be made responsible for everything.” Yes, in spite of the responsibility +of the Inferior Land Court, the speaker cast all thoughts of it to +the winds as he hurried to greet our hero. From every side resounded +acclamations of welcome, and Chichikov felt himself engulfed in a sea of +embraces. Thus, scarcely had he extricated himself from the arms of +the President of the Local Council when he found himself just as firmly +clasped in the arms of the Chief of Police, who, in turn, surrendered +him to the Inspector of the Medical Department, who, in turn, handed +him over to the Commissioner of Taxes, who, again, committed him to the +charge of the Town Architect. Even the Governor, who hitherto had been +standing among his womenfolk with a box of sweets in one hand and +a lap-dog in the other, now threw down both sweets and lap-dog (the +lap-dog giving vent to a yelp as he did so) and added his greeting to +those of the rest of the company. Indeed, not a face was there to be +seen on which ecstatic delight--or, at all events, the reflection of +other people’s ecstatic delight--was not painted. The same expression +may be discerned on the faces of subordinate officials when, the newly +arrived Director having made his inspection, the said officials are +beginning to get over their first sense of awe on perceiving that he +has found much to commend, and that he can even go so far as to jest +and utter a few words of smiling approval. Thereupon every tchinovnik +responds with a smile of double strength, and those who (it may be) have +not heard a single word of the Director’s speech smile out of sympathy +with the rest, and even the gendarme who is posted at the distant +door--a man, perhaps, who has never before compassed a smile, but is +more accustomed to dealing out blows to the populace--summons up a kind +of grin, even though the grin resembles the grimace of a man who is +about to sneeze after inadvertently taking an over-large pinch of +snuff. To all and sundry Chichikov responded with a bow, and felt +extraordinarily at his ease as he did so. To right and left did he +incline his head in the sidelong, yet unconstrained, manner that was +his wont and never failed to charm the beholder. As for the ladies, +they clustered around him in a shining bevy that was redolent of every +species of perfume--of roses, of spring violets, and of mignonette; so +much so that instinctively Chichikov raised his nose to snuff the air. +Likewise the ladies’ dresses displayed an endless profusion of taste and +variety; and though the majority of their wearers evinced a tendency to +embonpoint, those wearers knew how to call upon art for the concealment +of the fact. Confronting them, Chichikov thought to himself: “Which of +these beauties is the writer of the letter?” Then again he snuffed the +air. When the ladies had, to a certain extent, returned to their seats, +he resumed his attempts to discern (from glances and expressions) which +of them could possibly be the unknown authoress. Yet, though those +glances and expressions were too subtle, too insufficiently open, the +difficulty in no way diminished his high spirits. Easily and gracefully +did he exchange agreeable bandinage with one lady, and then approach +another one with the short, mincing steps usually affected by young-old +dandies who are fluttering around the fair. As he turned, not without +dexterity, to right and left, he kept one leg slightly dragging +behind the other, like a short tail or comma. This trick the ladies +particularly admired. In short, they not only discovered in him a host +of recommendations and attractions, but also began to see in his face +a sort of grand, Mars-like, military expression--a thing which, as we +know, never fails to please the feminine eye. Certain of the ladies even +took to bickering over him, and, on perceiving that he spent most of +his time standing near the door, some of their number hastened to occupy +chairs nearer to his post of vantage. In fact, when a certain dame +chanced to have the good fortune to anticipate a hated rival in the +race there very nearly ensued a most lamentable scene--which, to many +of those who had been desirous of doing exactly the same thing, seemed a +peculiarly horrible instance of brazen-faced audacity. + +So deeply did Chichikov become plunged in conversation with his fair +pursuers--or rather, so deeply did those fair pursuers enmesh him in the +toils of small talk (which they accomplished through the expedient of +asking him endless subtle riddles which brought the sweat to his brow in +his attempts to guess them)--that he forgot the claims of courtesy which +required him first of all to greet his hostess. In fact, he remembered +those claims only on hearing the Governor’s wife herself addressing him. +She had been standing before him for several minutes, and now greeted +him with suave expressement and the words, “So HERE you are, Paul +Ivanovitch!” But what she said next I am not in a position to report, +for she spoke in the ultra-refined tone and vein wherein ladies and +gentlemen customarily express themselves in high-class novels which have +been written by experts more qualified than I am to describe salons, and +able to boast of some acquaintance with good society. In effect, what +the Governor’s wife said was that she hoped--she greatly hoped--that +Monsieur Chichikov’s heart still contained a corner--even the smallest +possible corner--for those whom he had so cruelly forgotten. Upon that +Chichikov turned to her, and was on the point of returning a reply at +least no worse than that which would have been returned, under similar +circumstances, by the hero of a fashionable novelette, when he stopped +short, as though thunderstruck. + +Before him there was standing not only Madame, but also a young girl +whom she was holding by the hand. The golden hair, the fine-drawn, +delicate contours, the face with its bewitching oval--a face which might +have served as a model for the countenance of the Madonna, since it was +of a type rarely to be met with in Russia, where nearly everything, from +plains to human feet, is, rather, on the gigantic scale; these features, +I say, were those of the identical maiden whom Chichikov had encountered +on the road when he had been fleeing from Nozdrev’s. His emotion was +such that he could not formulate a single intelligible syllable; he +could merely murmur the devil only knows what, though certainly +nothing of the kind which would have risen to the lips of the hero of a +fashionable novel. + +“I think that you have not met my daughter before?” said Madame. “She is +just fresh from school.” + +He replied that he HAD had the happiness of meeting Mademoiselle before, +and under rather unexpected circumstances; but on his trying to say +something further his tongue completely failed him. The Governor’s wife +added a word or two, and then carried off her daughter to speak to some +of the other guests. + +Chichikov stood rooted to the spot, like a man who, after issuing +into the street for a pleasant walk, has suddenly come to a halt on +remembering that something has been left behind him. In a moment, as +he struggles to recall what that something is, the mien of careless +expectancy disappears from his face, and he no longer sees a single +person or a single object in his vicinity. In the same way did Chichikov +suddenly become oblivious to the scene around him. Yet all the while the +melodious tongues of ladies were plying him with multitudinous hints +and questions--hints and questions inspired with a desire to captivate. +“Might we poor cumberers of the ground make so bold as to ask you what +you are thinking of?” “Pray tell us where lie the happy regions in which +your thoughts are wandering?” “Might we be informed of the name of her +who has plunged you into this sweet abandonment of meditation?”--such +were the phrases thrown at him. But to everything he turned a dead ear, +and the phrases in question might as well have been stones dropped into +a pool. Indeed, his rudeness soon reached the pitch of his walking +away altogether, in order that he might go and reconnoitre wither the +Governor’s wife and daughter had retreated. But the ladies were not +going to let him off so easily. Every one of them had made up her mind +to use upon him her every weapon, and to exhibit whatsoever might chance +to constitute her best point. Yet the ladies’ wiles proved useless, for +Chichikov paid not the smallest attention to them, even when the dancing +had begun, but kept raising himself on tiptoe to peer over people’s +heads and ascertain in which direction the bewitching maiden with the +golden hair had gone. Also, when seated, he continued to peep between +his neighbours’ backs and shoulders, until at last he discovered her +sitting beside her mother, who was wearing a sort of Oriental turban and +feather. Upon that one would have thought that his purpose was to carry +the position by storm; for, whether moved by the influence of spring, +or whether moved by a push from behind, he pressed forward with such +desperate resolution that his elbow caused the Commissioner of Taxes +to stagger on his feet, and would have caused him to lose his balance +altogether but for the supporting row of guests in the rear. Likewise +the Postmaster was made to give ground; whereupon he turned and eyed +Chichikov with mingled astonishment and subtle irony. But Chichikov +never even noticed him; he saw in the distance only the golden-haired +beauty. At that moment she was drawing on a long glove and, doubtless, +pining to be flying over the dancing-floor, where, with clicking heels, +four couples had now begun to thread the mazes of the mazurka. In +particular was a military staff-captain working body and soul and +arms and legs to compass such a series of steps as were never before +performed, even in a dream. However, Chichikov slipped past the mazurka +dancers, and, almost treading on their heels, made his way towards the +spot where Madame and her daughter were seated. Yet he approached them +with great diffidence and none of his late mincing and prancing. Nay, +he even faltered as he walked; his every movement had about it an air of +awkwardness. + +It is difficult to say whether or not the feeling which had awakened +in our hero’s breast was the feeling of love; for it is problematical +whether or not men who are neither stout nor thin are capable of any +such sentiment. Nevertheless, something strange, something which he +could not altogether explain, had come upon him. It seemed as though +the ball, with its talk and its clatter, had suddenly become a thing +remote--that the orchestra had withdrawn behind a hill, and the scene +grown misty, like the carelessly painted-in background of a picture. And +from that misty void there could be seen glimmering only the delicate +outlines of the bewitching maiden. Somehow her exquisite shape reminded +him of an ivory toy, in such fair, white, transparent relief did it +stand out against the dull blur of the surrounding throng. + +Herein we see a phenomenon not infrequently observed--the phenomenon of +the Chichikovs of this world becoming temporarily poets. At all events, +for a moment or two our Chichikov felt that he was a young man again, if +not exactly a military officer. On perceiving an empty chair beside the +mother and daughter, he hastened to occupy it, and though conversation +at first hung fire, things gradually improved, and he acquired more +confidence. + +At this point I must reluctantly deviate to say that men of weight and +high office are always a trifle ponderous when conversing with ladies. +Young lieutenants--or, at all events, officers not above the rank of +captain--are far more successful at the game. How they contrive to be so +God only knows. Let them but make the most inane of remarks, and at once +the maiden by their side will be rocking with laughter; whereas, should +a State Councillor enter into conversation with a damsel, and remark +that the Russian Empire is one of vast extent, or utter a compliment +which he has elaborated not without a certain measure of intelligence +(however strongly the said compliment may smack of a book), of a surety +the thing will fall flat. Even a witticism from him will be laughed at +far more by him himself than it will by the lady who may happen to be +listening to his remarks. + +These comments I have interposed for the purpose of explaining to the +reader why, as our hero conversed, the maiden began to yawn. Blind to +this, however, he continued to relate to her sundry adventures which had +befallen him in different parts of the world. Meanwhile (as need hardly +be said) the rest of the ladies had taken umbrage at his behaviour. One +of them purposely stalked past him to intimate to him the fact, as well +as to jostle the Governor’s daughter, and let the flying end of a scarf +flick her face; while from a lady seated behind the pair came both a +whiff of violets and a very venomous and sarcastic remark. Nevertheless, +either he did not hear the remark or he PRETENDED not to hear it. This +was unwise of him, since it never does to disregard ladies’ opinions. +Later--but too late--he was destined to learn this to his cost. + +In short, dissatisfaction began to display itself on every feminine +face. No matter how high Chichikov might stand in society, and no matter +how much he might be a millionaire and include in his expression of +countenance an indefinable element of grandness and martial ardour, +there are certain things which no lady will pardon, whosoever be the +person concerned. We know that at Governor’s balls it is customary for +the onlookers to compose verses at the expense of the dancers; and in +this case the verses were directed to Chichikov’s address. Briefly, the +prevailing dissatisfaction grew until a tacit edict of proscription had +been issued against both him and the poor young maiden. + +But an even more unpleasant surprise was in store for our hero; for +whilst the young lady was still yawning as Chichikov recounted to her +certain of his past adventures and also touched lightly upon the subject +of Greek philosophy, there appeared from an adjoining room the figure of +Nozdrev. Whether he had come from the buffet, or whether he had issued +from a little green retreat where a game more strenuous than whist had +been in progress, or whether he had left the latter resort unaided, or +whether he had been expelled therefrom, is unknown; but at all events +when he entered the ballroom, he was in an elevated condition, and +leading by the arm the Public Prosecutor, whom he seemed to have been +dragging about for a long while past, seeing that the poor man was +glancing from side to side as though seeking a means of putting an end +to this personally conducted tour. Certainly he must have found the +situation almost unbearable, in view of the fact that, after deriving +inspiration from two glasses of tea not wholly undiluted with rum, +Nozdrev was engaged in lying unmercifully. On sighting him in the +distance, Chichikov at once decided to sacrifice himself. That is to +say, he decided to vacate his present enviable position and make off +with all possible speed, since he could see that an encounter with the +newcomer would do him no good. Unfortunately at that moment the Governor +buttonholed him with a request that he would come and act as arbiter +between him (the Governor) and two ladies--the subject of dispute +being the question as to whether or not woman’s love is lasting. +Simultaneously Nozdrev descried our hero and bore down upon him. + +“Ah, my fine landowner of Kherson!” he cried with a smile which set his +fresh, spring-rose-pink cheeks a-quiver. “Have you been doing much +trade in departed souls lately?” With that he turned to the Governor. “I +suppose your Excellency knows that this man traffics in dead peasants?” + he bawled. “Look here, Chichikov. I tell you in the most friendly +way possible that every one here likes you--yes, including even the +Governor. Nevertheless, had I my way, I would hang you! Yes, by God I +would!” + +Chichikov’s discomfiture was complete. + +“And, would you believe it, your Excellency,” went on Nozdrev, “but this +fellow actually said to me, ‘Sell me your dead souls!’ Why, I laughed +till I nearly became as dead as the souls. And, behold, no sooner do +I arrive here than I am told that he has bought three million roubles’ +worth of peasants for transferment! For transferment, indeed! And he +wanted to bargain with me for my DEAD ones! Look here, Chichikov. You +are a swine! Yes, by God, you are an utter swine! Is not that so, your +Excellency? Is not that so, friend Prokurator [34]?” + +But both his Excellency, the Public Prosecutor, and Chichikov were too +taken aback to reply. The half-tipsy Nozdrev, without noticing them, +continued his harangue as before. + +“Ah, my fine sir!” he cried. “THIS time I don’t mean to let you go. No, +not until I have learnt what all this purchasing of dead peasants means. +Look here. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Yes, _I_ say that--_I_ +who am one of your best friends.” Here he turned to the Governor +again. “Your Excellency,” he continued, “you would never believe what +inseperables this man and I have been. Indeed, if you had stood there +and said to me, ‘Nozdrev, tell me on your honour which of the two you +love best--your father or Chichikov?’ I should have replied, ‘Chichikov, +by God!’” With that he tackled our hero again, “Come, come, my friend!” + he urged. “Let me imprint upon your cheeks a baiser or two. You will +excuse me if I kiss him, will you not, your Excellency? No, do not +resist me, Chichikov, but allow me to imprint at least one baiser upon +your lily-white cheek.” And in his efforts to force upon Chichikov what +he termed his “baisers” he came near to measuring his length upon the +floor. + +Every one now edged away, and turned a deaf ear to his further +babblings; but his words on the subject of the purchase of dead souls +had none the less been uttered at the top of his voice, and been +accompanied with such uproarious laughter that the curiosity even of +those who had happened to be sitting or standing in the remoter corners +of the room had been aroused. So strange and novel seemed the idea that +the company stood with faces expressive of nothing but a dumb, dull +wonder. Only some of the ladies (as Chichikov did not fail to remark) +exchanged meaning, ill-natured winks and a series of sarcastic smiles: +which circumstance still further increased his confusion. That Nozdrev +was a notorious liar every one, of course, knew, and that he should have +given vent to an idiotic outburst of this sort had surprised no one; but +a dead soul--well, what was one to make of Nozdrev’s reference to such a +commodity? + +Naturally this unseemly contretemps had greatly upset our hero; for, +however foolish be a madman’s words, they may yet prove sufficient to +sow doubt in the minds of saner individuals. He felt much as does a +man who, shod with well-polished boots, has just stepped into a dirty, +stinking puddle. He tried to put away from him the occurrence, and to +expand, and to enjoy himself once more. Nay, he even took a hand +at whist. But all was of no avail--matters kept going as awry as a +badly-bent hoop. Twice he blundered in his play, and the President of +the Council was at a loss to understand how his friend, Paul Ivanovitch, +lately so good and so circumspect a player, could perpetrate such a +mauvais pas as to throw away a particular king of spades which the +President has been “trusting” as (to quote his own expression) “he would +have trusted God.” At supper, too, matters felt uncomfortable, even +though the society at Chichikov’s table was exceedingly agreeable and +Nozdrev had been removed, owing to the fact that the ladies had found +his conduct too scandalous to be borne, now that the delinquent had +taken to seating himself on the floor and plucking at the skirts of +passing lady dancers. As I say, therefore, Chichikov found the situation +not a little awkward, and eventually put an end to it by leaving the +supper room before the meal was over, and long before the hour when +usually he returned to the inn. + +In his little room, with its door of communication blocked with a +wardrobe, his frame of mind remained as uncomfortable as the chair in +which he was seated. His heart ached with a dull, unpleasant sensation, +with a sort of oppressive emptiness. + +“The devil take those who first invented balls!” was his reflection. +“Who derives any real pleasure from them? In this province there exist +want and scarcity everywhere: yet folk go in for balls! How absurd, +too, were those overdressed women! One of them must have had a thousand +roubles on her back, and all acquired at the expense of the overtaxed +peasant, or, worse still, at that of the conscience of her neighbour. +Yes, we all know why bribes are accepted, and why men become crooked +in soul. It is all done to provide wives--yes, may the pit swallow them +up!--with fal-lals. And for what purpose? That some woman may not have +to reproach her husband with the fact that, say, the Postmaster’s wife +is wearing a better dress than she is--a dress which has cost a thousand +roubles! ‘Balls and gaiety, balls and gaiety’ is the constant cry. Yet +what folly balls are! They do not consort with the Russian spirit and +genius, and the devil only knows why we have them. A grown, middle-aged +man--a man dressed in black, and looking as stiff as a poker--suddenly +takes the floor and begins shuffling his feet about, while another man, +even though conversing with a companion on important business, will, the +while, keep capering to right and left like a billy-goat! Mimicry, sheer +mimicry! The fact that the Frenchman is at forty precisely what he was +at fifteen leads us to imagine that we too, forsooth, ought to be the +same. No; a ball leaves one feeling that one has done a wrong thing--so +much so that one does not care even to think of it. It also leaves one’s +head perfectly empty, even as does the exertion of talking to a man of +the world. A man of that kind chatters away, and touches lightly upon +every conceivable subject, and talks in smooth, fluent phrases which he +has culled from books without grazing their substance; whereas go and +have a chat with a tradesman who knows at least ONE thing thoroughly, +and through the medium of experience, and see whether his conversation +will not be worth more than the prattle of a thousand chatterboxes. For +what good does one get out of balls? Suppose that a competent writer +were to describe such a scene exactly as it stands? Why, even in a +book it would seem senseless, even as it certainly is in life. Are, +therefore, such functions right or wrong? One would answer that the +devil alone knows, and then spit and close the book.” + +Such were the unfavourable comments which Chichikov passed upon balls +in general. With it all, however, there went a second source of +dissatisfaction. That is to say, his principal grudge was not so much +against balls as against the fact that at this particular one he had +been exposed, he had been made to disclose the circumstance that he had +been playing a strange, an ambiguous part. Of course, when he reviewed +the contretemps in the light of pure reason, he could not but see that +it mattered nothing, and that a few rude words were of no account now +that the chief point had been attained; yet man is an odd creature, and +Chichikov actually felt pained by the cold-shouldering administered to +him by persons for whom he had not an atom of respect, and whose vanity +and love of display he had only that moment been censuring. Still more, +on viewing the matter clearly, he felt vexed to think that he himself +had been so largely the cause of the catastrophe. + +Yet he was not angry with HIMSELF--of that you may be sure, seeing that +all of us have a slight weakness for sparing our own faults, and +always do our best to find some fellow-creature upon whom to vent our +displeasure--whether that fellow-creature be a servant, a subordinate +official, or a wife. In the same way Chichikov sought a scapegoat upon +whose shoulders he could lay the blame for all that had annoyed him. He +found one in Nozdrev, and you may be sure that the scapegoat in question +received a good drubbing from every side, even as an experienced captain +or chief of police will give a knavish starosta or postboy a rating not +only in the terms become classical, but also in such terms as the said +captain or chief of police may invent for himself. In short, Nozdrev’s +whole lineage was passed in review; and many of its members in the +ascending line fared badly in the process. + +Meanwhile, at the other end of the town there was in progress an event +which was destined to augment still further the unpleasantness of our +hero’s position. That is to say, through the outlying streets and +alleys of the town there was clattering a vehicle to which it would be +difficult precisely to assign a name, seeing that, though it was of a +species peculiar to itself, it most nearly resembled a large, rickety +water melon on wheels. Eventually this monstrosity drew up at the gates +of a house where the archpriest of one of the churches resided, and from +its doors there leapt a damsel clad in a jerkin and wearing a scarf over +her head. For a while she thumped the gates so vigorously as to set +all the dogs barking; then the gates stiffly opened, and admitted this +unwieldy phenomenon of the road. Lastly, the barinia herself alighted, +and stood revealed as Madame Korobotchka, widow of a Collegiate +Secretary! The reason of her sudden arrival was that she had felt so +uneasy about the possible outcome of Chichikov’s whim, that during the +three nights following his departure she had been unable to sleep a +wink; whereafter, in spite of the fact that her horses were not shod, +she had set off for the town, in order to learn at first hand how the +dead souls were faring, and whether (which might God forfend!) she +had not sold them at something like a third of their true value. The +consequences of her venture the reader will learn from a conversation +between two ladies. We will reserve it for the ensuing chapter. + + + +CHAPTER IX + +Next morning, before the usual hour for paying calls, there tripped from +the portals of an orange-coloured wooden house with an attic storey and +a row of blue pillars a lady in an elegant plaid cloak. With her came +a footman in a many-caped greatcoat and a polished top hat with a gold +band. Hastily, but gracefully, the lady ascended the steps let down from +a koliaska which was standing before the entrance, and as soon as +she had done so the footman shut her in, put up the steps again, and, +catching hold of the strap behind the vehicle, shouted to the coachman, +“Right away!” The reason of all this was that the lady was the possessor +of a piece of intelligence that she was burning to communicate to a +fellow-creature. Every moment she kept looking out of the carriage +window, and perceiving, with almost speechless vexation, that, as yet, +she was but half-way on her journey. The fronts of the houses appeared +to her longer than usual, and in particular did the front of the white +stone hospital, with its rows of narrow windows, seem interminable to +a degree which at length forced her to ejaculate: “Oh, the cursed +building! Positively there is no end to it!” Also, she twice adjured the +coachman with the words, “Go quicker, Andrusha! You are a horribly long +time over the journey this morning.” But at length the goal was reached, +and the koliaska stopped before a one-storied wooden mansion, dark grey +in colour, and having white carvings over the windows, a tall wooden +fence and narrow garden in front of the latter, and a few meagre trees +looming white with an incongruous coating of road dust. In the windows +of the building were also a few flower pots and a parrot that kept +alternately dancing on the floor of its cage and hanging on to the ring +of the same with its beak. Also, in the sunshine before the door two pet +dogs were sleeping. Here there lived the lady’s bosom friend. As soon as +the bosom friend in question learnt of the newcomer’s arrival, she ran +down into the hall, and the two ladies kissed and embraced one another. +Then they adjourned to the drawing-room. + +“How glad I am to see you!” said the bosom friend. “When I heard some +one arriving I wondered who could possibly be calling so early. Parasha +declared that it must be the Vice-Governor’s wife, so, as I did not want +to be bored with her, I gave orders that I was to be reported ‘not at +home.’” + +For her part, the guest would have liked to have proceeded to business +by communicating her tidings, but a sudden exclamation from the hostess +imparted (temporarily) a new direction to the conversation. + +“What a pretty chintz!” she cried, gazing at the other’s gown. + +“Yes, it IS pretty,” agreed the visitor. “On the other hand, Praskovia +Thedorovna thinks that--” + +In other words, the ladies proceeded to indulge in a conversation on +the subject of dress; and only after this had lasted for a considerable +while did the visitor let fall a remark which led her entertainer to +inquire: + +“And how is the universal charmer?” + +“My God!” replied the other. “There has been SUCH a business! In fact, +do you know why I am here at all?” And the visitor’s breathing became +more hurried, and further words seemed to be hovering between her lips +like hawks preparing to stoop upon their prey. Only a person of the +unhumanity of a “true friend” would have had the heart to interrupt her; +but the hostess was just such a friend, and at once interposed with: + +“I wonder how any one can see anything in the man to praise or to +admire. For my own part, I think--and I would say the same thing +straight to his face--that he is a perfect rascal.” + +“Yes, but do listen to what I have got to tell you.” + +“Oh, I know that some people think him handsome,” continued the +hostess, unmoved; “but _I_ say that he is nothing of the kind--that, in +particular, his nose is perfectly odious.” + +“Yes, but let me finish what I was saying.” The guest’s tone was almost +piteous in its appeal. + +“What is it, then?” + +“You cannot imagine my state of mind! You see, this morning I received +a visit from Father Cyril’s wife--the Archpriest’s wife--you know her, +don’t you? Well, whom do you suppose that fine gentleman visitor of ours +has turned out to be?” + +“The man who has built the Archpriest a poultry-run?” + +“Oh dear no! Had that been all, it would have been nothing. No. Listen +to what Father Cyril’s wife had to tell me. She said that, last night, +a lady landowner named Madame Korobotchka arrived at the Archpriest’s +house--arrived all pale and trembling--and told her, oh, such things! +They sound like a piece out of a book. That is to say, at dead of night, +just when every one had retired to rest, there came the most dreadful +knocking imaginable, and some one screamed out, ‘Open the gates, or we +will break them down!’ Just think! After this, how any one can say that +the man is charming I cannot imagine.” + +“Well, what of Madame Korobotchka? Is she a young woman or good +looking?” + +“Oh dear no! Quite an old woman.” + +“Splendid indeed! So he is actually engaged to a person like that? One +may heartily commend the taste of our ladies for having fallen in love +with him!” + +“Nevertheless, it is not as you suppose. Think, now! Armed with weapons +from head to foot, he called upon this old woman, and said: ‘Sell me any +souls of yours which have lately died.’ Of course, Madame Korobotchka +answered, reasonably enough: ‘I cannot sell you those souls, seeing that +they have departed this world;’ but he replied: ‘No, no! They are NOT +dead. ’Tis I who tell you that--I who ought to know the truth of the +matter. I swear that they are still alive.’ In short, he made such a +scene that the whole village came running to the house, and children +screamed, and men shouted, and no one could tell what it was all +about. The affair seemed to me so horrible, so utterly horrible, that I +trembled beyond belief as I listened to the story. ‘My dearest madam,’ +said my maid, Mashka, ‘pray look at yourself in the mirror, and see how +white you are.’ ‘But I have no time for that,’ I replied, ‘as I must +be off to tell my friend, Anna Grigorievna, the news.’ Nor did I lose a +moment in ordering the koliaska. Yet when my coachman, Andrusha, asked +me for directions I could not get a word out--I just stood staring +at him like a fool, until I thought he must think me mad. Oh, Anna +Grigorievna, if you but knew how upset I am!” + +“What a strange affair!” commented the hostess. “What on earth can +the man have meant by ‘dead souls’? I confess that the words pass my +understanding. Curiously enough, this is the second time I have heard +speak of those souls. True, my husband avers that Nozdrev was lying; yet +in his lies there seems to have been a grain of truth.” + +“Well, just think of my state when I heard all this! ‘And now,’ +apparently said Korobotchka to the Archpriest’s wife, ‘I am altogether +at a loss what to do, for, throwing me fifteen roubles, the man forced +me to sign a worthless paper--yes, me, an inexperienced, defenceless +widow who knows nothing of business.’ That such things should happen! +TRY and imagine my feelings!” + +“In my opinion, there is in this more than the dead souls which meet the +eye.” + +“I think so too,” agreed the other. As a matter of fact, her friend’s +remark had struck her with complete surprise, as well as filled her with +curiosity to know what the word “more” might possibly signify. In fact, +she felt driven to inquire: “What do YOU suppose to be hidden beneath it +all?” + +“No; tell me what YOU suppose?” + +“What _I_ suppose? I am at a loss to conjecture.” + +“Yes, but tell me what is in your mind?” + +Upon this the visitor had to confess herself nonplussed; for, though +capable of growing hysterical, she was incapable of propounding any +rational theory. Consequently she felt the more that she needed tender +comfort and advice. + +“Then THIS is what I think about the dead souls,” said the hostess. +Instantly the guest pricked up her ears (or, rather, they pricked +themselves up) and straightened herself and became, somehow, more +modish, and, despite her not inconsiderable weight, posed herself to +look like a piece of thistledown floating on the breeze. + +“The dead souls,” began the hostess. + +“Are what, are what?” inquired the guest in great excitement. + +“Are, are--” + +“Tell me, tell me, for heaven’s sake!” + +“They are an invention to conceal something else. The man’s real object +is, is--TO ABDUCT THE GOVERNOR’S DAUGHTER.” + +So startling and unexpected was this conclusion that the guest sat +reduced to a state of pale, petrified, genuine amazement. + +“My God!” she cried, clapping her hands, “I should NEVER have guessed +it!” + +“Well, to tell you the truth, I guessed it as soon as ever you opened +your mouth.” + +“So much, then, for educating girls like the Governor’s daughter at +school! Just see what comes of it!” + +“Yes, indeed! And they tell me that she says things which I hesitate +even to repeat.” + +“Truly it wrings one’s heart to see to what lengths immorality has +come.” + +“Some of the men have quite lost their heads about her, but for my part +I think her not worth noticing.” + +“Of course. And her manners are unbearable. But what puzzles me most is +how a travelled man like Chichikov could come to let himself in for such +an affair. Surely he must have accomplices?” + +“Yes; and I should say that one of those accomplices is Nozdrev.” + +“Surely not?” + +“CERTAINLY I should say so. Why, I have known him even try to sell his +own father! At all events he staked him at cards.” + +“Indeed? You interest me. I should never had thought him capable of such +things.” + +“I always guessed him to be so.” + +The two ladies were still discussing the matter with acumen and success +when there walked into the room the Public Prosecutor--bushy eyebrows, +motionless features, blinking eyes, and all. At once the ladies hastened +to inform him of the events related, adducing therewith full details +both as to the purchase of dead souls and as to the scheme to abduct the +Governor’s daughter; after which they departed in different directions, +for the purpose of raising the rest of the town. For the execution of +this undertaking not more than half an hour was required. So thoroughly +did they succeed in throwing dust in the public’s eyes that for a while +every one--more especially the army of public officials--was placed in +the position of a schoolboy who, while still asleep, has had a bag of +pepper thrown in his face by a party of more early-rising comrades. The +questions now to be debated resolved themselves into two--namely, the +question of the dead souls and the question of the Governor’s daughter. +To this end two parties were formed--the men’s party and the feminine +section. The men’s party--the more absolutely senseless of the +two--devoted its attention to the dead souls: the women’s party +occupied itself exclusively with the alleged abduction of the Governor’s +daughter. And here it may be said (to the ladies’ credit) that the +women’s party displayed far more method and caution than did its rival +faction, probably because the function in life of its members had always +been that of managing and administering a household. With the ladies, +therefore, matters soon assumed vivid and definite shape; they became +clearly and irrefutably materialised; they stood stripped of all doubt +and other impedimenta. Said some of the ladies in question, Chichikov +had long been in love with the maiden, and the pair had kept tryst by +the light of the moon, while the Governor would have given his consent +(seeing that Chichikov was as rich as a Jew) but for the obstacle that +Chichikov had deserted a wife already (how the worthy dames came to +know that he was married remains a mystery), and the said deserted wife, +pining with love for her faithless husband, had sent the Governor a +letter of the most touching kind, so that Chichikov, on perceiving that +the father and mother would never give their consent, had decided to +abduct the girl. In other circles the matter was stated in a different +way. That is to say, this section averred that Chichikov did NOT possess +a wife, but that, as a man of subtlety and experience, he had bethought +him of obtaining the daughter’s hand through the expedient of first +tackling the mother and carrying on with her an ardent liaison, and +that, thereafter, he had made an application for the desired hand, but +that the mother, fearing to commit a sin against religion, and feeling +in her heart certain gnawings of conscience, had returned a blank +refusal to Chichikov’s request; whereupon Chichikov had decided to carry +out the abduction alleged. To the foregoing, of course, there became +appended various additional proofs and items of evidence, in proportion +as the sensation spread to more remote corners of the town. At length, +with these perfectings, the affair reached the ears of the Governor’s +wife herself. Naturally, as the mother of a family, and as the first +lady in the town, and as a matron who had never before been suspected of +things of the kind, she was highly offended when she heard the stories, +and very justly so: with the result that her poor young daughter, though +innocent, had to endure about as unpleasant a tete-a-tete as ever befell +a maiden of sixteen, while, for his part, the Swiss footman received +orders never at any time to admit Chichikov to the house. + +Having done their business with the Governor’s wife, the ladies’ party +descended upon the male section, with a view to influencing it to their +own side by asserting that the dead souls were an invention used solely +for the purpose of diverting suspicion and successfully affecting the +abduction. And, indeed, more than one man was converted, and joined the +feminine camp, in spite of the fact that thereby such seceders incurred +strong names from their late comrades--names such as “old women,” + “petticoats,” and others of a nature peculiarly offensive to the male +sex. + +Also, however much they might arm themselves and take the field, the +men could not compass such orderliness within their ranks as could the +women. With the former everything was of the antiquated and rough-hewn +and ill-fitting and unsuitable and badly-adapted and inferior kind; +their heads were full of nothing but discord and triviality and +confusion and slovenliness of thought. In brief, they displayed +everywhere the male bent, the rude, ponderous nature which is incapable +either of managing a household or of jumping to a conclusion, as well +as remains always distrustful and lazy and full of constant doubt and +everlasting timidity. For instance, the men’s party declared that the +whole story was rubbish--that the alleged abduction of the Governor’s +daughter was the work rather of a military than of a civilian culprit; +that the ladies were lying when they accused Chichikov of the deed; +that a woman was like a money-bag--whatsoever you put into her she +thenceforth retained; that the subject which really demanded attention +was the dead souls, of which the devil only knew the meaning, but in +which there certainly lurked something that was contrary to good order +and discipline. One reason why the men’s party was so certain that the +dead souls connoted something contrary to good order and discipline, +was that there had just been appointed to the province a new +Governor-General--an event which, of course, had thrown the whole army +of provincial tchinovniks into a state of great excitement, seeing that +they knew that before long there would ensue transferments and sentences +of censure, as well as the series of official dinners with which a +Governor-General is accustomed to entertain his subordinates. “Alas,” + thought the army of tchinovniks, “it is probable that, should he learn +of the gross reports at present afloat in our town, he will make such a +fuss that we shall never hear the last of them.” In particular did +the Director of the Medical Department turn pale at the thought that +possibly the new Governor-General would surmise the term “dead folk” + to connote patients in the local hospitals who, for want of proper +preventative measures, had died of sporadic fever. Indeed, might it not +be that Chichikov was neither more nor less than an emissary of the said +Governor-General, sent to conduct a secret inquiry? Accordingly he (the +Director of the Medical Department) communicated this last supposition +to the President of the Council, who, though at first inclined to +ejaculate “Rubbish!” suddenly turned pale on propounding to himself the +theory. “What if the souls purchased by Chichikov should REALLY be +dead ones?”--a terrible thought considering that he, the President, had +permitted their transferment to be registered, and had himself acted +as Plushkin’s representative! What if these things should reach the +Governor-General’s ears? He mentioned the matter to one friend and +another, and they, in their turn, went white to the lips, for panic +spreads faster and is even more destructive, than the dreaded black +death. Also, to add to the tchinovniks’ troubles, it so befell that +just at this juncture there came into the local Governor’s hands two +documents of great importance. The first of them contained advices that, +according to received evidence and reports, there was operating in the +province a forger of rouble-notes who had been passing under various +aliases and must therefore be sought for with the utmost diligence; +while the second document was a letter from the Governor of a +neighbouring province with regard to a malefactor who had there evaded +apprehension--a letter conveying also a warning that, if in the province +of the town of N. there should appear any suspicious individual who +could produce neither references nor passports, he was to be arrested +forthwith. These two documents left every one thunderstruck, for they +knocked on the head all previous conceptions and theories. Not for +a moment could it be supposed that the former document referred to +Chichikov; yet, as each man pondered the position from his own point of +view, he remembered that no one REALLY knew who Chichikov was; as also +that his vague references to himself had--yes!--included statements that +his career in the service had suffered much to the cause of Truth, and +that he possessed a number of enemies who were seeking his life. This +gave the tchinovniks further food for thought. Perhaps his life really +DID stand in danger? Perhaps he really WAS being sought for by some one? +Perhaps he really HAD done something of the kind above referred to? As a +matter of fact, who was he?--not that it could actually be supposed that +he was a forger of notes, still less a brigand, seeing that his exterior +was respectable in the highest degree. Yet who was he? At length +the tchinovniks decided to make enquiries among those of whom he had +purchased souls, in order that at least it might be learnt what the +purchases had consisted of, and what exactly underlay them, and whether, +in passing, he had explained to any one his real intentions, or revealed +to any one his identity. In the first instance, therefore, resort was +had to Korobotchka. Yet little was gleaned from that source--merely +a statement that he had bought of her some souls for fifteen roubles +apiece, and also a quantity of feathers, while promising also to buy +some other commodities in the future, seeing that, in particular, he had +entered into a contract with the Treasury for lard, a fact constituting +fairly presumptive proof that the man was a rogue, seeing that just such +another fellow had bought a quantity of feathers, yet had cheated folk +all round, and, in particular, had done the Archpriest out of over a +hundred roubles. Thus the net result of Madame’s cross-examination was +to convince the tchinovniks that she was a garrulous, silly old woman. +With regard to Manilov, he replied that he would answer for Chichikov as +he would for himself, and that he would gladly sacrifice his property in +toto if thereby he could attain even a tithe of the qualities which +Paul Ivanovitch possessed. Finally, he delivered on Chichikov, with +acutely-knitted brows, a eulogy couched in the most charming of terms, +and coupled with sundry sentiments on the subject of friendship and +affection in general. True, these remarks sufficed to indicate the +tender impulses of the speaker’s heart, but also they did nothing to +enlighten his examiners concerning the business that was actually at +hand. As for Sobakevitch, that landowner replied that he considered +Chichikov an excellent fellow, as well as that the souls whom he had +sold to his visitor had been in the truest sense of the word alive, but +that he could not answer for anything which might occur in the future, +seeing that any difficulties which might arise in the course of the +actual transferment of souls would not be HIS fault, in view of the fact +that God was lord of all, and that fevers and other mortal complaints +were so numerous in the world, and that instances of whole villages +perishing through the same could be found on record. + +Finally, our friends the tchinovniks found themselves compelled to +resort to an expedient which, though not particularly savoury, is not +infrequently employed--namely, the expedient of getting lacqueys quietly +to approach the servants of the person concerning whom information is +desired, and to ascertain from them (the servants) certain details with +regard to their master’s life and antecedents. Yet even from this source +very little was obtained, since Petrushka provided his interrogators +merely with a taste of the smell of his living-room, and Selifan +confined his replies to a statement that the barin had “been in the +employment of the State, and also had served in the Customs.” + +In short, the sum total of the results gathered by the tchinovniks was +that they still stood in ignorance of Chichikov’s identity, but that he +MUST be some one; wherefore it was decided to hold a final debate on the +subject on what ought to be done, and who Chichikov could possibly be, +and whether or not he was a man who ought to be apprehended and detained +as not respectable, or whether he was a man who might himself be able +to apprehend and detain THEM as persons lacking in respectability. The +debate in question, it was proposed, should be held at the residence of +the Chief of Police, who is known to our readers as the father and the +general benefactor of the town. + + + +CHAPTER X + +On assembling at the residence indicated, the tchinovniks had occasion +to remark that, owing to all these cares and excitements, every one +of their number had grown thinner. Yes, the appointment of a new +Governor-General, coupled with the rumours described and the reception +of the two serious documents above-mentioned, had left manifest traces +upon the features of every one present. More than one frockcoat had come +to look too large for its wearer, and more than one frame had fallen +away, including the frames of the President of the Council, the Director +of the Medical Department, and the Public Prosecutor. Even a certain +Semen Ivanovitch, who, for some reason or another, was never alluded to +by his family name, but who wore on his index finger a ring with which +he was accustomed to dazzle his lady friends, had diminished in bulk. +Yet, as always happens at such junctures, there were also present +a score of brazen individuals who had succeeded in NOT losing their +presence of mind, even though they constituted a mere sprinkling. +Of them the Postmaster formed one, since he was a man of equable +temperament who could always say: “WE know you, Governor-Generals! We +have seen three or four of you come and go, whereas WE have been sitting +on the same stools these thirty years.” Nevertheless a prominent feature +of the gathering was the total absence of what is vulgarly known as +“common sense.” In general, we Russians do not make a good show at +representative assemblies, for the reason that, unless there be in +authority a leading spirit to control the rest, the affair always +develops into confusion. Why this should be so one could hardly say, but +at all events a success is scored only by such gatherings as have for +their object dining and festivity--to wit, gatherings at clubs or in +German-run restaurants. However, on the present occasion, the meeting +was NOT one of this kind; it was a meeting convoked of necessity, and +likely in view of the threatened calamity to affect every tchinovnik in +the place. Also, in addition to the great divergency of views expressed +thereat, there was visible in all the speakers an invincible tendency to +indecision which led them at one moment to make assertions, and at the +next to contradict the same. But on at least one point all seemed to +agree--namely, that Chichikov’s appearance and conversation were too +respectable for him to be a forger or a disguised brigand. That is to +say, all SEEMED to agree on the point; until a sudden shout arose from +the direction of the Postmaster, who for some time past had been sitting +plunged in thought. + +“_I_ can tell you,” he cried, “who Chichikov is!” + +“Who, then?” replied the crowd in great excitement. + +“He is none other than Captain Kopeikin.” + +“And who may Captain Kopeikin be?” + +Taking a pinch of snuff (which he did with the lid of his snuff-box +half-open, lest some extraneous person should contrive to insert a not +over-clean finger into the stuff), the Postmaster related the following +story [35]. + +“After fighting in the campaign of 1812, there was sent home, wounded, +a certain Captain Kopeikin--a headstrong, lively blade who, whether on +duty or under arrest, made things lively for everybody. Now, since at +Krasni or at Leipzig (it matters not which) he had lost an arm and a +leg, and in those days no provision was made for wounded soldiers, and +he could not work with his left arm alone, he set out to see his father. +Unfortunately his father could only just support himself, and was forced +to tell his son so; wherefore the Captain decided to go and apply for +help in St. Petersburg, seeing that he had risked his life for his +country, and had lost much blood in its service. You can imagine him +arriving in the capital on a baggage waggon--in the capital which is +like no other city in the world! Before him there lay spread out the +whole field of life, like a sort of Arabian Nights--a picture made up of +the Nevski Prospect, Gorokhovaia Street, countless tapering spires, and +a number of bridges apparently supported on nothing--in fact, a regular +second Nineveh. Well, he made shift to hire a lodging, but found +everything so wonderfully furnished with blinds and Persian carpets and +so forth that he saw it would mean throwing away a lot of money. True, +as one walks the streets of St. Petersburg one seems to smell money by +the thousand roubles, but our friend Kopeikin’s bank was limited to a +few score coppers and a little silver--not enough to buy a village with! +At length, at the price of a rouble a day, he obtained a lodging in the +sort of tavern where the daily ration is a bowl of cabbage soup and a +crust of bread; and as he felt that he could not manage to live very +long on fare of that kind he asked folk what he had better do. ‘What you +had better do?’ they said. ‘Well the Government is not here--it is in +Paris, and the troops have not yet returned from the war; but there is a +TEMPORARY Commission sitting, and you had better go and see what IT can +do for you.’ ‘All right!’ he said. ‘I will go and tell the Commission +that I have shed my blood, and sacrificed my life, for my country.’ +And he got up early one morning, and shaved himself with his left hand +(since the expense of a barber was not worth while), and set out, wooden +leg and all, to see the President of the Commission. But first he +asked where the President lived, and was told that his house was in +Naberezhnaia Street. And you may be sure that it was no peasant’s hut, +with its glazed windows and great mirrors and statues and lacqueys and +brass door handles! Rather, it was the sort of place which you would +enter only after you had bought a cheap cake of soap and indulged in a +two hours’ wash. Also, at the entrance there was posted a grand Swiss +footman with a baton and an embroidered collar--a fellow looking like a +fat, over-fed pug dog. However, friend Kopeikin managed to get himself +and his wooden leg into the reception room, and there squeezed himself +away into a corner, for fear lest he should knock down the gilded china +with his elbow. And he stood waiting in great satisfaction at having +arrived before the President had so much as left his bed and been served +with his silver wash-basin. Nevertheless, it was only when Kopeikin had +been waiting four hours that a breakfast waiter entered to say, ‘The +President will soon be here.’ By now the room was as full of people as +a plate is of beans, and when the President left the breakfast-room he +brought with him, oh, such dignity and refinement, and such an air +of the metropolis! First he walked up to one person, and then up to +another, saying: ‘What do YOU want? And what do YOU want? What can I +do for YOU? What is YOUR business?’ And at length he stopped before +Kopeikin, and Kopeikin said to him: ‘I have shed my blood, and lost +both an arm and a leg, for my country, and am unable to work. Might I +therefore dare to ask you for a little help, if the regulations should +permit of it, or for a gratuity, or for a pension, or something of the +kind?’ Then the President looked at him, and saw that one of his legs +was indeed a wooden one, and that an empty right sleeve was pinned to +his uniform. ‘Very well,’ he said. ‘Come to me again in a few days’ +time.’ Upon this friend Kopeikin felt delighted. ‘NOW I have done my +job!’ he thought to himself; and you may imagine how gaily he trotted +along the pavement, and how he dropped into a tavern for a glass of +vodka, and how he ordered a cutlet and some caper sauce and some other +things for luncheon, and how he called for a bottle of wine, and how he +went to the theatre in the evening! In short, he did himself thoroughly +well. Next, he saw in the street a young English lady, as graceful as a +swan, and set off after her on his wooden leg. ‘But no,’ he thought to +himself. ‘To the devil with that sort of thing just now! I will wait +until I have drawn my pension. For the present I have spent enough.’ +(And I may tell you that by now he had got through fully half his +money.) Two or three days later he went to see the President of the +Commission again. ‘I should be glad to know,’ he said, ‘whether by now +you can do anything for me in return for my having shed my blood and +suffered sickness and wounds on military service.’ ‘First of all,’ said +the President, ‘I must tell you that nothing can be decided in your case +without the authority of the Supreme Government. Without that sanction +we cannot move in the matter. Surely you see how things stand until the +army shall have returned from the war? All that I can advise you to +do is wait for the Minister to return, and, in the meanwhile, to have +patience. Rest assured that then you will not be overlooked. And if for +the moment you have nothing to live upon, this is the best that I can +do for you.’ With that he handed Kopeikin a trifle until his case should +have been decided. However, that was not what Kopeikin wanted. He +had supposed that he would be given a gratuity of a thousand roubles +straight away; whereas, instead of ‘Drink and be merry,’ it was ‘Wait, +for the time is not yet.’ Thus, though his head had been full of soup +plates and cutlets and English girls, he now descended the steps with +his ears and his tail down--looking, in fact, like a poodle over which +the cook has poured a bucketful of water. You see, St. Petersburg life +had changed him not a little since first he had got a taste of it, and, +now that the devil only knew how he was going to live, it came all the +harder to him that he should have no more sweets to look forward to. +Remember that a man in the prime of years has an appetite like a +wolf; and as he passed a restaurant he could see a round-faced, +holland-shirted, snow-white aproned fellow of a French chef preparing a +dish delicious enough to make it turn to and eat itself; while, again, +as he passed a fruit shop he could see delicacies looking out of a +window for fools to come and buy them at a hundred roubles apiece. +Imagine, therefore, his position! On the one hand, so to speak, were +salmon and water-melons, while on the other hand was the bitter fare +which passed at a tavern for luncheon. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, +‘let them do what they like with me at the Commission, but I intend +to go and raise the whole place, and to tell every blessed functionary +there that I have a mind to do as I choose.’ And in truth this +bold impertinence of a man did have the hardihood to return to the +Commission. ‘What do you want?’ said the President. ‘Why are you here +for the third time? You have had your orders given you.’ ‘I daresay I +have,’ he retorted, ‘but I am not going to be put off with THEM. I want +some cutlets to eat, and a bottle of French wine, and a chance to go and +amuse myself at the theatre.’ ‘Pardon me,’ said the President. ‘What you +really need (if I may venture to mention it) is a little patience. You +have been given something for food until the Military Committee shall +have met, and then, doubtless, you will receive your proper reward, +seeing that it would not be seemly that a man who has served his country +should be left destitute. On the other hand, if, in the meanwhile, you +desire to indulge in cutlets and theatre-going, please understand that +we cannot help you, but you must make your own resources, and try as +best you can to help yourself.’ You can imagine that this went in at one +of Kopeikin’s ears, and out at the other; that it was like shooting peas +at a stone wall. Accordingly he raised a turmoil which sent the staff +flying. One by one, he gave the mob of secretaries and clerks a real +good hammering. ‘You, and you, and you,’ he said, ‘do not even know +your duties. You are law-breakers.’ Yes, he trod every man of them under +foot. At length the General himself arrived from another office, and +sounded the alarm. What was to be done with a fellow like Kopeikin? +The President saw that strong measures were imperative. ‘Very well,’ he +said. ‘Since you decline to rest satisfied with what has been given you, +and quietly to await the decision of your case in St. Petersburg, I must +find you a lodging. Here, constable, remove the man to gaol.’ Then a +constable who had been called to the door--a constable three ells +in height, and armed with a carbine--a man well fitted to guard a +bank--placed our friend in a police waggon. ‘Well,’ reflected Kopeikin, +‘at least I shan’t have to pay my fare for THIS ride. That’s one +comfort.’ Again, after he had ridden a little way, he said to himself: +‘they told me at the Commission to go and make my own means of enjoying +myself. Very good. I’ll do so.’ However, what became of Kopeikin, +and whither he went, is known to no one. He sank, to use the poet’s +expression, into the waters of Lethe, and his doings now lie buried in +oblivion. But allow me, gentlemen, to piece together the further threads +of the story. Not two months later there appeared in the forests of +Riazan a band of robbers: and of that band the chieftain was none other +than--” + +“Allow me,” put in the Head of the Police Department. “You have said +that Kopeikin had lost an arm and a leg; whereas Chichikov--” + +To say anything more was unnecessary. The Postmaster clapped his hand +to his forehead, and publicly called himself a fool, though, later, he +tried to excuse his mistake by saying that in England the science of +mechanics had reached such a pitch that wooden legs were manufactured +which would enable the wearer, on touching a spring, to vanish +instantaneously from sight. + +Various other theories were then propounded, among them a theory that +Chichikov was Napoleon, escaped from St. Helena and travelling about +the world in disguise. And if it should be supposed that no such notion +could possibly have been broached, let the reader remember that these +events took place not many years after the French had been driven out of +Russia, and that various prophets had since declared that Napoleon was +Antichrist, and would one day escape from his island prison to exercise +universal sway on earth. Nay, some good folk had even declared the +letters of Napoleon’s name to constitute the Apocalyptic cipher! + +As a last resort, the tchinovniks decided to question Nozdrev, since not +only had the latter been the first to mention the dead souls, but +also he was supposed to stand on terms of intimacy with Chichikov. +Accordingly the Chief of Police dispatched a note by the hand of a +commissionaire. At the time Nozdrev was engaged on some very important +business--so much so that he had not left his room for four days, and +was receiving his meals through the window, and no visitors at all. The +business referred to consisted of the marking of several dozen selected +cards in such a way as to permit of his relying upon them as upon his +bosom friend. Naturally he did not like having his retirement invaded, +and at first consigned the commissionaire to the devil; but as soon +as he learnt from the note that, since a novice at cards was to be the +guest of the Chief of Police that evening, a call at the latter’s house +might prove not wholly unprofitable he relented, unlocked the door of +his room, threw on the first garments that came to hand, and set forth. +To every question put to him by the tchinovniks he answered firmly and +with assurance. Chichikov, he averred, had indeed purchased dead souls, +and to the tune of several thousand roubles. In fact, he (Nozdrev) had +himself sold him some, and still saw no reason why he should not have +done so. Next, to the question of whether or not he considered Chichikov +to be a spy, he replied in the affirmative, and added that, as long ago +as his and Chichikov’s joint schooldays, the said Chichikov had been +known as “The Informer,” and repeatedly been thrashed by his companions +on that account. Again, to the question of whether or not Chichikov was +a forger of currency notes the deponent, as before, responded in +the affirmative, and appended thereto an anecdote illustrative of +Chichikov’s extraordinary dexterity of hand--namely, an anecdote to +that effect that, once upon a time, on learning that two million +roubles worth of counterfeit notes were lying in Chichikov’s house, the +authorities had placed seals upon the building, and had surrounded it +on every side with an armed guard; whereupon Chichikov had, during the +night, changed each of these seals for a new one, and also so arranged +matters that, when the house was searched, the forged notes were found +to be genuine ones! + +Again, to the question of whether or not Chichikov had schemed to abduct +the Governor’s daughter, and also whether it was true that he, Nozdrev, +had undertaken to aid and abet him in the act, the witness replied that, +had he not undertaken to do so, the affair would never have come off. At +this point the witness pulled himself up, on realising that he had told +a lie which might get him into trouble; but his tongue was not to be +denied--the details trembling on its tip were too alluring, and he +even went on to cite the name of the village church where the pair +had arranged to be married, that of the priest who had performed +the ceremony, the amount of the fees paid for the same (seventy-five +roubles), and statements (1) that the priest had refused to solemnise +the wedding until Chichikov had frightened him by threatening to expose +the fact that he (the priest) had married Mikhail, a local corn dealer, +to his paramour, and (2) that Chichikov had ordered both a koliaska for +the couple’s conveyance and relays of horses from the post-houses on the +road. Nay, the narrative, as detailed by Nozdrev, even reached the +point of his mentioning certain of the postillions by name! Next, the +tchinovniks sounded him on the question of Chichikov’s possible identity +with Napoleon; but before long they had reason to regret the step, for +Nozdrev responded with a rambling rigmarole such as bore no resemblance +to anything possibly conceivable. Finally, the majority of the audience +left the room, and only the Chief of Police remained to listen (in the +hope of gathering something more); but at last even he found himself +forced to disclaim the speaker with a gesture which said: “The devil +only knows what the fellow is talking about!” and so voiced the general +opinion that it was no use trying to gather figs of thistles. + +Meanwhile Chichikov knew nothing of these events; for, having contracted +a slight chill, coupled with a sore throat, he had decided to keep his +room for three days; during which time he gargled his throat with +milk and fig juice, consumed the fruit from which the juice had been +extracted, and wore around his neck a poultice of camomile and camphor. +Also, to while away the hours, he made new and more detailed lists of +the souls which he had bought, perused a work by the Duchesse de la +Valliere [36], rummaged in his portmanteau, looked through various +articles and papers which he discovered in his dispatch-box, and found +every one of these occupations tedious. Nor could he understand why +none of his official friends had come to see him and inquire after his +health, seeing that, not long since, there had been standing in front of +the inn the drozhkis both of the Postmaster, the Public Prosecutor, and +the President of the Council. He wondered and wondered, and then, with +a shrug of his shoulders, fell to pacing the room. At length he felt +better, and his spirits rose at the prospect of once more going out into +the fresh air; wherefore, having shaved a plentiful growth of hair from +his face, he dressed with such alacrity as almost to cause a split +in his trousers, sprinkled himself with eau-de-Cologne, and wrapping +himself in warm clothes, and turning up the collar of his coat, sallied +forth into the street. His first destination was intended to be the +Governor’s mansion, and, as he walked along, certain thoughts concerning +the Governor’s daughter would keep whirling through his head, so that +almost he forgot where he was, and took to smiling and cracking jokes to +himself. + +Arrived at the Governor’s entrance, he was about to divest himself +of his scarf when a Swiss footman greeted him with the words, “I am +forbidden to admit you.” + +“What?” he exclaimed. “You do not know me? Look at me again, and see if +you do not recognise me.” + +“Of course I recognise you,” the footman replied. “I have seen you +before, but have been ordered to admit any one else rather than Monsieur +Chichikov.” + +“Indeed? And why so?” + +“Those are my orders, and they must be obeyed,” said the footman, +confronting Chichikov with none of that politeness with which, on +former occasions, he had hastened to divest our hero of his wrappings. +Evidently he was of opinion that, since the gentry declined to receive +the visitor, the latter must certainly be a rogue. + +“I cannot understand it,” said Chichikov to himself. Then he departed, +and made his way to the house of the President of the Council. But so +put about was that official by Chichikov’s entry that he could not utter +two consecutive words--he could only murmur some rubbish which left both +his visitor and himself out of countenance. Chichikov wondered, as he +left the house, what the President’s muttered words could have meant, +but failed to make head or tail of them. Next, he visited, in turn, the +Chief of Police, the Vice-Governor, the Postmaster, and others; but in +each case he either failed to be accorded admittance or was received +so strangely, and with such a measure of constraint and conversational +awkwardness and absence of mind and embarrassment, that he began to fear +for the sanity of his hosts. Again and again did he strive to divine +the cause, but could not do so; so he went wandering aimlessly about +the town, without succeeding in making up his mind whether he or +the officials had gone crazy. At length, in a state bordering upon +bewilderment, he returned to the inn--to the establishment whence, that +every afternoon, he had set forth in such exuberance of spirits. Feeling +the need of something to do, he ordered tea, and, still marvelling at +the strangeness of his position, was about to pour out the beverage when +the door opened and Nozdrev made his appearance. + +“What says the proverb?” he began. “‘To see a friend, seven versts is +not too long a round to make.’ I happened to be passing the house, saw a +light in your window, and thought to myself: ‘Now, suppose I were to run +up and pay him a visit? It is unlikely that he will be asleep.’ Ah, ha! +I see tea on your table! Good! Then I will drink a cup with you, for I +had wretched stuff for dinner, and it is beginning to lie heavy on my +stomach. Also, tell your man to fill me a pipe. Where is your own pipe?” + +“I never smoke,” rejoined Chichikov drily. + +“Rubbish! As if I did not know what a chimney-pot you are! What is your +man’s name? Hi, Vakhramei! Come here!” + +“Petrushka is his name, not Vakhramei.” + +“Indeed? But you USED to have a man called Vakhramei, didn’t you?” + +“No, never.” + +“Oh, well. Then it must be Derebin’s man I am thinking of. What a lucky +fellow that Derebin is! An aunt of his has gone and quarrelled with her +son for marrying a serf woman, and has left all her property to HIM, +to Derebin. Would that _I_ had an aunt of that kind to provide against +future contingencies! But why have you been hiding yourself away? I +suppose the reason has been that you go in for abstruse subjects and are +fond of reading” (why Nozdrev should have drawn these conclusions no one +could possibly have said--least of all Chichikov himself). “By the way, +I can tell you of something that would have found you scope for your +satirical vein” (the conclusion as to Chichikov’s “satirical vein” was, +as before, altogether unwarranted on Nozdrev’s part). “That is to say, +you would have seen merchant Likhachev losing a pile of money at play. +My word, you would have laughed! A fellow with me named Perependev said: +‘Would that Chichikov had been here! It would have been the very thing +for him!’” (As a matter of fact, never since the day of his birth had +Nozdrev met any one of the name of Perependev.) “However, my friend, you +must admit that you treated me rather badly the day that we played that +game of chess; but, as I won the game, I bear you no malice. A propos, +I am just from the President’s, and ought to tell you that the feeling +against you in the town is very strong, for every one believes you to be +a forger of currency notes. I myself was sent for and questioned +about you, but I stuck up for you through thick and thin, and told +the tchinovniks that I had been at school with you, and had known your +father. In fact, I gave the fellows a knock or two for themselves.” + +“You say that I am believed to be a forger?” said Chichikov, starting +from his seat. + +“Yes,” said Nozdrev. “Why have you gone and frightened everybody as you +have done? Some of our folk are almost out of their minds about it, and +declare you to be either a brigand in disguise or a spy. Yesterday the +Public Prosecutor even died of it, and is to be buried to-morrow” + (this was true in so far as that, on the previous day, the official in +question had had a fatal stroke--probably induced by the excitement of +the public meeting). “Of course, _I_ don’t suppose you to be anything of +the kind, but, you see, these fellows are in a blue funk about the new +Governor-General, for they think he will make trouble for them over your +affair. A propos, he is believed to be a man who puts on airs, and turns +up his nose at everything; and if so, he will get on badly with the +dvoriane, seeing that fellows of that sort need to be humoured a bit. +Yes, my word! Should the new Governor-General shut himself up in his +study, and give no balls, there will be the very devil to pay! By the +way, Chichikov, that is a risky scheme of yours.” + +“What scheme to you mean?” Chichikov asked uneasily. + +“Why, that scheme of carrying off the Governor’s daughter. However, to +tell the truth, I was expecting something of the kind. No sooner did +I see you and her together at the ball than I said to myself: ‘Ah, ha! +Chichikov is not here for nothing!’ For my own part, I think you have +made a poor choice, for I can see nothing in her at all. On the other +hand, the niece of a friend of mine named Bikusov--she IS a girl, and no +mistake! A regular what you might call ‘miracle in muslin!’” + +“What on earth are you talking about?” asked Chichikov with his eyes +distended. “HOW could I carry off the Governor’s daughter? What on earth +do you mean?” + +“Come, come! What a secretive fellow you are! My only object in having +come to see you is to lend you a helping hand in the matter. Look here. +On condition that you will lend me three thousand roubles, I will stand +you the cost of the wedding, the koliaska, and the relays of horses. I +must have the money even if I die for it.” + +Throughout Nozdrev’s maunderings Chichikov had been rubbing his eyes to +ascertain whether or not he was dreaming. What with the charge of being +a forger, the accusation of having schemed an abduction, the death of +the Public Prosecutor (whatever might have been its cause), and the +advent of a new Governor-General, he felt utterly dismayed. + +“Things having come to their present pass,” he reflected, “I had better +not linger here--I had better be off at once.” + +Getting rid of Nozdrev as soon as he could, he sent for Selifan, and +ordered him to be up at daybreak, in order to clean the britchka and to +have everything ready for a start at six o’clock. Yet, though Selifan +replied, “Very well, Paul Ivanovitch,” he hesitated awhile by the door. +Next, Chichikov bid Petrushka get out the dusty portmanteau from under +the bed, and then set to work to cram into it, pell-mell, socks, shirts, +collars (both clean and dirty), boot trees, a calendar, and a variety of +other articles. Everything went into the receptacle just as it came +to hand, since his one object was to obviate any possible delay in +the morning’s departure. Meanwhile the reluctant Selifan slowly, very +slowly, left the room, as slowly descended the staircase (on each +separate step of which he left a muddy foot-print), and, finally, halted +to scratch his head. What that scratching may have meant no one could +say; for, with the Russian populace, such a scratching may mean any one +of a hundred things. + + + +CHAPTER XI + +Nevertheless events did not turn out as Chichikov had intended they +should. In the first place, he overslept himself. That was check number +one. In the second place, on his rising and inquiring whether the +britchka had been harnessed and everything got ready, he was informed +that neither of those two things had been done. That was check number +two. Beside himself with rage, he prepared to give Selifan the wigging +of his life, and, meanwhile, waited impatiently to hear what the +delinquent had got to say in his defence. It goes without saying that +when Selifan made his appearance in the doorway he had only the usual +excuses to offer--the sort of excuses usually offered by servants when a +hasty departure has become imperatively necessary. + +“Paul Ivanovitch,” he said, “the horses require shoeing.” + +“Blockhead!” exclaimed Chichikov. “Why did you not tell me of that +before, you damned fool? Was there not time enough for them to be shod?” + +“Yes, I suppose there was,” agreed Selifan. “Also one of the wheels is +in want of a new tyre, for the roads are so rough that the old tyre is +worn through. Also, the body of the britchka is so rickety that probably +it will not last more than a couple of stages.” + +“Rascal!” shouted Chichikov, clenching his fists and approaching Selifan +in such a manner that, fearing to receive a blow, the man backed and +dodged aside. “Do you mean to ruin me, and to break all our bones on the +road, you cursed idiot? For these three weeks past you have been doing +nothing at all; yet now, at the last moment, you come here stammering +and playing the fool! Do you think I keep you just to eat and to drive +yourself about? You must have known of this before? Did you, or did you +not, know it? Answer me at once.” + +“Yes, I did know it,” replied Selifan, hanging his head. + +“Then why didn’t you tell me about it?” + +Selifan had no reply immediately ready, so continued to hang his head +while quietly saying to himself: “See how well I have managed things! I +knew what was the matter, yet I did not say.” + +“And now,” continued Chichikov, “go you at once and fetch a blacksmith. +Tell him that everything must be put right within two hours at the most. +Do you hear? If that should not be done, I, I--I will give you the best +flogging that ever you had in your life.” Truly Chichikov was almost +beside himself with fury. + +Turning towards the door, as though for the purpose of going and +carrying out his orders, Selifan halted and added: + +“That skewbald, barin--you might think it well to sell him, seeing that +he is nothing but a rascal? A horse like that is more of a hindrance +than a help.” + +“What? Do you expect me to go NOW to the market-place and sell him?” + +“Well, Paul Ivanovitch, he is good for nothing but show, since by nature +he is a most cunning beast. Never in my life have I seen such a horse.” + +“Fool! Whenever I may wish to sell him I SHALL sell him. Meanwhile, +don’t you trouble your head about what doesn’t concern you, but go and +fetch a blacksmith, and see that everything is put right within two +hours. Otherwise I will take the very hair off your head, and beat you +till you haven’t a face left. Be off! Hurry!” + +Selifan departed, and Chichikov, his ill-humour vented, threw down +upon the floor the poignard which he always took with him as a means of +instilling respect into whomsoever it might concern, and spent the next +quarter of an hour in disputing with a couple of blacksmiths--men who, +as usual, were rascals of the type which, on perceiving that something +is wanted in a hurry, at once multiplies its terms for providing the +same. Indeed, for all Chichikov’s storming and raging as he dubbed +the fellows robbers and extortioners and thieves, he could make no +impression upon the pair, since, true to their character, they declined +to abate their prices, and, even when they had begun their work, spent +upon it, not two hours, but five and a half. Meanwhile he had the +satisfaction of experiencing that delightful time with which all +travellers are familiar--namely, the time during which one sits in a +room where, except for a litter of string, waste paper, and so forth, +everything else has been packed. But to all things there comes an end, +and there arrived also the long-awaited moment when the britchka had +received the luggage, the faulty wheel had been fitted with a new tyre, +the horses had been re-shod, and the predatory blacksmiths had departed +with their gains. “Thank God!” thought Chichikov as the britchka rolled +out of the gates of the inn, and the vehicle began to jolt over the +cobblestones. Yet a feeling which he could not altogether have defined +filled his breast as he gazed upon the houses and the streets and the +garden walls which he might never see again. Presently, on turning a +corner, the britchka was brought to a halt through the fact that along +the street there was filing a seemingly endless funeral procession. +Leaning forward in his britchka, Chichikov asked Petrushka whose +obsequies the procession represented, and was told that they represented +those of the Public Prosecutor. Disagreeably shocked, our hero hastened +to raise the hood of the vehicle, to draw the curtains across the +windows, and to lean back into a corner. While the britchka remained +thus halted Selifan and Petrushka, their caps doffed, sat watching the +progress of the cortege, after they had received strict instructions not +to greet any fellow-servant whom they might recognise. Behind the hearse +walked the whole body of tchinovniks, bare-headed; and though, for a +moment or two, Chichikov feared that some of their number might discern +him in his britchka, he need not have disturbed himself, since their +attention was otherwise engaged. In fact, they were not even exchanging +the small talk customary among members of such processions, but +thinking exclusively of their own affairs, of the advent of the new +Governor-General, and of the probable manner in which he would take up +the reins of administration. Next came a number of carriages, from +the windows of which peered the ladies in mourning toilets. Yet the +movements of their hands and lips made it evident that they were +indulging in animated conversation--probably about the Governor-General, +the balls which he might be expected to give, and their own eternal +fripperies and gewgaws. Lastly came a few empty drozhkis. As soon as the +latter had passed, our hero was able to continue on his way. Throwing +back the hood of the britchka, he said to himself: + +“Ah, good friend, you have lived your life, and now it is over! In the +newspapers they will say of you that you died regretted not only by +your subordinates, but also by humanity at large, as well as that, a +respected citizen, a kind father, and a husband beyond reproach, you +went to your grave amid the tears of your widow and orphans. Yet, should +those journals be put to it to name any particular circumstance which +justified this eulogy of you, they would be forced to fall back upon the +fact that you grew a pair of exceptionally thick eyebrows!” + +With that Chichikov bid Selifan quicken his pace, and concluded: “After +all, it is as well that I encountered the procession, for they say that +to meet a funeral is lucky.” + +Presently the britchka turned into some less frequented streets, lines +of wooden fencing of the kind which mark the outskirts of a town began +to file by, the cobblestones came to an end, the macadam of the highroad +succeeded to them, and once more there began on either side of the +turnpike a procession of verst stones, road menders, and grey villages; +inns with samovars and peasant women and landlords who came running out +of yards with seivefuls of oats; pedestrians in worn shoes which, it +might be, had covered eight hundred versts; little towns, bright with +booths for the sale of flour in barrels, boots, small loaves, and other +trifles; heaps of slag; much repaired bridges; expanses of field to +right and to left; stout landowners; a mounted soldier bearing a green, +iron-clamped box inscribed: “The --th Battery of Artillery”; long strips +of freshly-tilled earth which gleamed green, yellow, and black on the +face of the countryside. With it mingled long-drawn singing, glimpses of +elm-tops amid mist, the far-off notes of bells, endless clouds of rocks, +and the illimitable line of the horizon. + +Ah, Russia, Russia, from my beautiful home in a strange land I can still +see you! In you everything is poor and disordered and unhomely; in you +the eye is neither cheered nor dismayed by temerities of nature which +a yet more temerarious art has conquered; in you one beholds no cities +with lofty, many-windowed mansions, lofty as crags, no picturesque +trees, no ivy-clad ruins, no waterfalls with their everlasting spray and +roar, no beetling precipices which confuse the brain with their stony +immensity, no vistas of vines and ivy and millions of wild roses and +ageless lines of blue hills which look almost unreal against the clear, +silvery background of the sky. In you everything is flat and open; your +towns project like points or signals from smooth levels of plain, and +nothing whatsoever enchants or deludes the eye. Yet what secret, what +invincible force draws me to you? Why does there ceaselessly echo and +re-echo in my ears the sad song which hovers throughout the length and +the breadth of your borders? What is the burden of that song? Why does +it wail and sob and catch at my heart? What say the notes which +thus painfully caress and embrace my soul, and flit, uttering their +lamentations, around me? What is it you seek of me, O Russia? What is +the hidden bond which subsists between us? Why do you regard me as you +do? Why does everything within you turn upon me eyes full of +yearning? Even at this moment, as I stand dumbly, fixedly, perplexedly +contemplating your vastness, a menacing cloud, charged with gathering +rain, seems to overshadow my head. What is it that your boundless +expanses presage? Do they not presage that one day there will arise in +you ideas as boundless as yourself? Do they not presage that one day you +too will know no limits? Do they not presage that one day, when again +you shall have room for their exploits, there will spring to life +the heroes of old? How the power of your immensity enfolds me, and +reverberates through all my being with a wild, strange spell, and +flashes in my eyes with an almost supernatural radiance! Yes, a strange, +brilliant, unearthly vista indeed do you disclose, O Russia, country of +mine! + +“Stop, stop, you fool!” shouted Chichikov to Selifan; and even as he +spoke a troika, bound on Government business, came chattering by, and +disappeared in a cloud of dust. To Chichikov’s curses at Selifan for not +having drawn out of the way with more alacrity a rural constable with +moustaches of the length of an arshin added his quota. + +What a curious and attractive, yet also what an unreal, fascination +the term “highway” connotes! And how interesting for its own sake is +a highway! Should the day be a fine one (though chilly) in mellowing +autumn, press closer your travelling cloak, and draw down your cap over +your ears, and snuggle cosily, comfortably into a corner of the britchka +before a last shiver shall course through your limbs, and the ensuing +warmth shall put to flight the autumnal cold and damp. As the horses +gallop on their way, how delightfully will drowsiness come stealing upon +you, and make your eyelids droop! For a while, through your somnolence, +you will continue to hear the hard breathing of the team and the +rumbling of the wheels; but at length, sinking back into your corner, +you will relapse into the stage of snoring. And when you awake--behold! +you will find that five stages have slipped away, and that the moon is +shining, and that you have reached a strange town of churches and old +wooden cupolas and blackened spires and white, half-timbered houses! And +as the moonlight glints hither and thither, almost you will believe that +the walls and the streets and the pavements of the place are spread with +sheets--sheets shot with coal-black shadows which make the wooden roofs +look all the brighter under the slanting beams of the pale luminary. +Nowhere is a soul to be seen, for every one is plunged in slumber. Yet +no. In a solitary window a light is flickering where some good burgher +is mending his boots, or a baker drawing a batch of dough. O night +and powers of heaven, how perfect is the blackness of your infinite +vault--how lofty, how remote its inaccessible depths where it lies +spread in an intangible, yet audible, silence! Freshly does the lulling +breath of night blow in your face, until once more you relapse into +snoring oblivion, and your poor neighbour turns angrily in his corner as +he begins to be conscious of your weight. Then again you awake, but +this time to find yourself confronted with only fields and steppes. +Everywhere in the ascendant is the desolation of space. But suddenly the +ciphers on a verst stone leap to the eye! Morning is rising, and on the +chill, gradually paling line of the horizon you can see gleaming a faint +gold streak. The wind freshens and grows keener, and you snuggle closer +in your cloak; yet how glorious is that freshness, and how marvellous +the sleep in which once again you become enfolded! A jolt!--and for the +last time you return to consciousness. By now the sun is high in the +heavens, and you hear a voice cry “gently, gently!” as a farm waggon +issues from a by-road. Below, enclosed within an ample dike, stretches +a sheet of water which glistens like copper in the sunlight. Beyond, on +the side of a slope, lie some scattered peasants’ huts, a manor house, +and, flanking the latter, a village church with its cross flashing +like a star. There also comes wafted to your ear the sound of peasants’ +laughter, while in your inner man you are becoming conscious of an +appetite which is not to be withstood. + +Oh long-drawn highway, how excellent you are! How often have I in +weariness and despondency set forth upon your length, and found in you +salvation and rest! How often, as I followed your leading, have I been +visited with wonderful thoughts and poetic dreams and curious, wild +impressions! + +At this moment our friend Chichikov also was experiencing visions of a +not wholly prosaic nature. Let us peep into his soul and share them. +At first he remained unconscious of anything whatsoever, for he was too +much engaged in making sure that he was really clear of the town; but +as soon as he saw that it had completely disappeared, with its mills and +factories and other urban appurtenances, and that even the steeples +of the white stone churches had sunk below the horizon, he turned his +attention to the road, and the town of N. vanished from his thoughts as +completely as though he had not seen it since childhood. Again, in its +turn, the road ceased to interest him, and he began to close his eyes +and to loll his head against the cushions. Of this let the author +take advantage, in order to speak at length concerning his hero; since +hitherto he (the author) has been prevented from so doing by Nozdrev and +balls and ladies and local intrigues--by those thousand trifles which +seem trifles only when they are introduced into a book, but which, in +life, figure as affairs of importance. Let us lay them aside, and betake +ourselves to business. + +Whether the character whom I have selected for my hero has pleased my +readers is, of course, exceedingly doubtful. At all events the ladies +will have failed to approve him for the fair sex demands in a hero +perfection, and, should there be the least mental or physical stain +on him--well, woe betide! Yes, no matter how profoundly the author may +probe that hero’s soul, no matter how clearly he may portray his figure +as in a mirror, he will be given no credit for the achievement. Indeed, +Chichikov’s very stoutness and plenitude of years may have militated +against him, for never is a hero pardoned for the former, and the +majority of ladies will, in such case, turn away, and mutter to +themselves: “Phew! What a beast!” Yes, the author is well aware of this. +Yet, though he could not, to save his life, take a person of virtue for +his principal character, it may be that this story contains themes +never before selected, and that in it there projects the whole boundless +wealth of Russian psychology; that it portrays, as well as Chichikov, +the peasant who is gifted with the virtues which God has sent him, and +the marvellous maiden of Russia who has not her like in all the world +for her beautiful feminine spirituality, the roots of which lie buried +in noble aspirations and boundless self-denial. In fact, compared with +these types, the virtuous of other races seem lifeless, as does an +inanimate volume when compared with the living word. Yes, each time that +there arises in Russia a movement of thought, it becomes clear that the +movement sinks deep into the Slavonic nature where it would but have +skimmed the surface of other nations.--But why am I talking like this? +Whither am I tending? It is indeed shameful that an author who long +ago reached man’s estate, and was brought up to a course of severe +introspection and sober, solitary self-enlightenment, should give way to +such jejune wandering from the point. To everything its proper time +and place and turn. As I was saying, it does not lie in me to take a +virtuous character for my hero: and I will tell you why. It is because +it is high time that a rest were given to the “poor, but virtuous” + individual; it is because the phrase “a man of worth” has grown into a +by-word; it is because the “man of worth” has become converted into a +horse, and there is not a writer but rides him and flogs him, in and out +of season; it is because the “man of worth” has been starved until he +has not a shred of his virtue left, and all that remains of his body is +but the ribs and the hide; it is because the “man of worth” is for ever +being smuggled upon the scene; it is because the “man of worth” has at +length forfeited every one’s respect. For these reasons do I reaffirm +that it is high time to yoke a rascal to the shafts. Let us yoke that +rascal. + +Our hero’s beginnings were both modest and obscure. True, his parents +were dvoriane, but he in no way resembled them. At all events, a short, +squab female relative who was present at his birth exclaimed as she +lifted up the baby: “He is altogether different from what I had expected +him to be. He ought to have taken after his maternal grandmother, +whereas he has been born, as the proverb has it, ‘like not father nor +mother, but like a chance passer-by.’” Thus from the first life +regarded the little Chichikov with sour distaste, and as through a dim, +frost-encrusted window. A tiny room with diminutive casements which were +never opened, summer or winter; an invalid father in a dressing-gown +lined with lambskin, and with an ailing foot swathed in bandages--a man +who was continually drawing deep breaths, and walking up and down the +room, and spitting into a sandbox; a period of perpetually sitting on +a bench with pen in hand and ink on lips and fingers; a period of being +eternally confronted with the copy-book maxim, “Never tell a lie, but +obey your superiors, and cherish virtue in your heart;” an everlasting +scraping and shuffling of slippers up and down the room; a period of +continually hearing a well-known, strident voice exclaim: “So you have +been playing the fool again!” at times when the child, weary of the +mortal monotony of his task, had added a superfluous embellishment +to his copy; a period of experiencing the ever-familiar, but +ever-unpleasant, sensation which ensued upon those words as the boy’s +ear was painfully twisted between two long fingers bent backwards at +the tips--such is the miserable picture of that youth of which, in later +life, Chichikov preserved but the faintest of memories! But in this +world everything is liable to swift and sudden change; and, one day in +early spring, when the rivers had melted, the father set forth with +his little son in a teliezshka [37] drawn by a sorrel steed of the kind +known to horsy folk as a soroka, and having as coachman the diminutive +hunchback who, father of the only serf family belonging to the elder +Chichikov, served as general factotum in the Chichikov establishment. +For a day and a half the soroka conveyed them on their way; during which +time they spent the night at a roadside inn, crossed a river, dined off +cold pie and roast mutton, and eventually arrived at the county town. To +the lad the streets presented a spectacle of unwonted brilliancy, and +he gaped with amazement. Turning into a side alley wherein the mire +necessitated both the most strenuous exertions on the soroka’s part and +the most vigorous castigation on the part of the driver and the barin, +the conveyance eventually reached the gates of a courtyard which, +combined with a small fruit garden containing various bushes, a couple +of apple-trees in blossom, and a mean, dirty little shed, constituted +the premises attached to an antiquated-looking villa. Here there lived +a relative of the Chichikovs, a wizened old lady who went to market in +person and dried her stockings at the samovar. On seeing the boy, she +patted his cheek and expressed satisfaction at his physique; whereupon +the fact became disclosed that here he was to abide for a while, for +the purpose of attending a local school. After a night’s rest his father +prepared to betake himself homeward again; but no tears marked the +parting between him and his son, he merely gave the lad a copper or two +and (a far more important thing) the following injunctions. “See here, +my boy. Do your lessons well, do not idle or play the fool, and above +all things, see that you please your teachers. So long as you observe +these rules you will make progress, and surpass your fellows, even if +God shall have denied you brains, and you should fail in your studies. +Also, do not consort overmuch with your comrades, for they will do you +no good; but, should you do so, then make friends with the richer of +them, since one day they may be useful to you. Also, never entertain or +treat any one, but see that every one entertains and treats YOU. Lastly, +and above all else, keep and save your every kopeck. To save money is +the most important thing in life. Always a friend or a comrade may fail +you, and be the first to desert you in a time of adversity; but never +will a KOPECK fail you, whatever may be your plight. Nothing in the +world cannot be done, cannot be attained, with the aid of money.” These +injunctions given, the father embraced his son, and set forth on his +return; and though the son never again beheld his parent, the latter’s +words and precepts sank deep into the little Chichikov’s soul. + +The next day young Pavlushka made his first attendance at school. But no +special aptitude in any branch of learning did he display. Rather, his +distinguishing characteristics were diligence and neatness. On the other +hand, he developed great intelligence as regards the PRACTICAL aspect +of life. In a trice he divined and comprehended how things ought to +be worked, and, from that time forth, bore himself towards his +school-fellows in such a way that, though they frequently gave him +presents, he not only never returned the compliment, but even on +occasions pocketed the gifts for the mere purpose of selling them again. +Also, boy though he was, he acquired the art of self-denial. Of the +trifle which his father had given him on parting he spent not a kopeck, +but, the same year, actually added to his little store by fashioning +a bullfinch of wax, painting it, and selling the same at a handsome +profit. Next, as time went on, he engaged in other speculations--in +particular, in the scheme of buying up eatables, taking his seat in +class beside boys who had plenty of pocket-money, and, as soon as such +opulent individuals showed signs of failing attention (and, therefore, +of growing appetite), tendering them, from beneath the desk, a roll of +pudding or a piece of gingerbread, and charging according to degree +of appetite and size of portion. He also spent a couple of months in +training a mouse, which he kept confined in a little wooden cage in his +bedroom. At length, when the training had reached the point that, at the +several words of command, the mouse would stand upon its hind legs, +lie down, and get up again, he sold the creature for a respectable sum. +Thus, in time, his gains attained the amount of five roubles; whereupon +he made himself a purse and then started to fill a second receptacle of +the kind. Still more studied was his attitude towards the authorities. +No one could sit more quietly in his place on the bench than he. In the +same connection it may be remarked that his teacher was a man who, above +all things, loved peace and good behaviour, and simply could not +abide clever, witty boys, since he suspected them of laughing at him. +Consequently any lad who had once attracted the master’s attention with +a manifestation of intelligence needed but to shuffle in his place, or +unintentionally to twitch an eyebrow, for the said master at once to +burst into a rage, to turn the supposed offender out of the room, and +to visit him with unmerciful punishment. “Ah, my fine fellow,” he would +say, “I’LL cure you of your impudence and want of respect! I know you +through and through far better than you know yourself, and will take +good care that you have to go down upon your knees and curb your +appetite.” Whereupon the wretched lad would, for no cause of which he +was aware, be forced to wear out his breeches on the floor and go hungry +for days. “Talents and gifts,” the schoolmaster would declare, “are so +much rubbish. I respect only good behaviour, and shall award full marks +to those who conduct themselves properly, even if they fail to learn a +single letter of their alphabet: whereas to those in whom I may perceive +a tendency to jocularity I shall award nothing, even though they should +outdo Solon himself.” For the same reason he had no great love of the +author Krylov, in that the latter says in one of his Fables: “In my +opinion, the more one sings, the better one works;” and often the +pedagogue would relate how, in a former school of his, the silence had +been such that a fly could be heard buzzing on the wing, and for the +space of a whole year not a single pupil sneezed or coughed in class, +and so complete was the absence of all sound that no one could have +told that there was a soul in the place. Of this mentor young Chichikov +speedily appraised the mentality; wherefore he fashioned his behaviour +to correspond with it. Not an eyelid, not an eyebrow, would he stir +during school hours, howsoever many pinches he might receive from +behind; and only when the bell rang would he run to anticipate his +fellows in handing the master the three-cornered cap which that +dignitary customarily sported, and then to be the first to leave the +class-room, and contrive to meet the master not less than two or three +times as the latter walked homeward, in order that, on each occasion, +he might doff his cap. And the scheme proved entirely successful. +Throughout the period of his attendance at school he was held in high +favour, and, on leaving the establishment, received full marks for every +subject, as well as a diploma and a book inscribed (in gilt letters) +“For Exemplary Diligence and the Perfection of Good Conduct.” By this +time he had grown into a fairly good-looking youth of the age when the +chin first calls for a razor; and at about the same period his father +died, leaving behind him, as his estate, four waistcoats completely worn +out, two ancient frockcoats, and a small sum of money. Apparently he had +been skilled only in RECOMMENDING the saving of kopecks--not in ACTUALLY +PRACTISING the art. Upon that Chichikov sold the old house and its +little parcel of land for a thousand roubles, and removed, with his +one serf and the serf’s family, to the capital, where he set about +organising a new establishment and entering the Civil Service. +Simultaneously with his doing so, his old schoolmaster lost (through +stupidity or otherwise) the establishment over which he had hitherto +presided, and in which he had set so much store by silence and good +behaviour. Grief drove him to drink, and when nothing was left, even +for that purpose, he retired--ill, helpless, and starving--into a +broken-down, cheerless hovel. But certain of his former pupils--the same +clever, witty lads whom he had once been wont to accuse of impertinence +and evil conduct generally--heard of his pitiable plight, and collected +for him what money they could, even to the point of selling their own +necessaries. Only Chichikov, when appealed to, pleaded inability, and +compromised with a contribution of a single piatak [38]: which his +old schoolfellows straightway returned him--full in the face, and +accompanied with a shout of “Oh, you skinflint!” As for the poor +schoolmaster, when he heard what his former pupils had done, he buried +his face in his hands, and the tears gushed from his failing eyes as +from those of a helpless infant. “God has brought you but to weep over +my death-bed,” he murmured feebly; and added with a profound sigh, on +hearing of Chichikov’s conduct: “Ah, Pavlushka, how a human being may +become changed! Once you were a good lad, and gave me no trouble; but +now you are become proud indeed!” + +Yet let it not be inferred from this that our hero’s character had grown +so blase and hard, or his conscience so blunted, as to preclude his +experiencing a particle of sympathy or compassion. As a matter of fact, +he was capable both of the one and the other, and would have been glad +to assist his old teacher had no great sum been required, or had he not +been called upon to touch the fund which he had decided should remain +intact. In other words, the father’s injunction, “Guard and save every +kopeck,” had become a hard and fast rule of the son’s. Yet the youth had +no particular attachment to money for money’s sake; he was not possessed +with the true instinct for hoarding and niggardliness. Rather, before +his eyes there floated ever a vision of life and its amenities and +advantages--a vision of carriages and an elegantly furnished house and +recherche dinners; and it was in the hope that some day he might attain +these things that he saved every kopeck and, meanwhile, stinted both +himself and others. Whenever a rich man passed him by in a splendid +drozhki drawn by swift and handsomely-caparisoned horses, he would halt +as though deep in thought, and say to himself, like a man awakening +from a long sleep: “That gentleman must have been a financier, he has so +little hair on his brow.” In short, everything connected with wealth and +plenty produced upon him an ineffaceable impression. Even when he left +school he took no holiday, so strong in him was the desire to get to +work and enter the Civil Service. Yet, for all the encomiums contained +in his diploma, he had much ado to procure a nomination to a Government +Department; and only after a long time was a minor post found for him, +at a salary of thirty or forty roubles a year. Nevertheless, wretched +though this appointment was, he determined, by strict attention to +business, to overcome all obstacles, and to win success. And, indeed, +the self-denial, the patience, and the economy which he displayed +were remarkable. From early morn until late at night he would, with +indefatigable zeal of body and mind, remain immersed in his sordid task +of copying official documents--never going home, snatching what sleep he +could on tables in the building, and dining with the watchman on duty. +Yet all the while he contrived to remain clean and neat, to preserve +a cheerful expression of countenance, and even to cultivate a certain +elegance of movement. In passing, it may be remarked that his fellow +tchinovniks were a peculiarly plain, unsightly lot, some of them having +faces like badly baked bread, swollen cheeks, receding chins, and +cracked and blistered upper lips. Indeed, not a man of them was +handsome. Also, their tone of voice always contained a note of +sullenness, as though they had a mind to knock some one on the head; and +by their frequent sacrifices to Bacchus they showed that even yet there +remains in the Slavonic nature a certain element of paganism. Nay, the +Director’s room itself they would invade while still licking their lips, +and since their breath was not over-aromatic, the atmosphere of the room +grew not over-pleasant. Naturally, among such an official staff a man +like Chichikov could not fail to attract attention and remark, since in +everything--in cheerfulness of demeanour, in suavity of voice, and +in complete neglect of the use of strong potions--he was the absolute +antithesis of his companions. Yet his path was not an easy one to tread, +for over him he had the misfortune to have placed in authority a Chief +Clerk who was a graven image of elderly insensibility and inertia. +Always the same, always unapproachable, this functionary could never in +his life have smiled or asked civilly after an acquaintance’s health. +Nor had any one ever seen him a whit different in the street or at his +own home from what he was in the office, or showing the least interest +in anything whatever, or getting drunk and relapsing into jollity in +his cups, or indulging in that species of wild gaiety which, when +intoxicated, even a burglar affects. No, not a particle of this was +there in him. Nor, for that matter, was there in him a particle of +anything at all, whether good or bad: which complete negativeness +of character produced rather a strange effect. In the same way, his +wizened, marble-like features reminded one of nothing in particular, so +primly proportioned were they. Only the numerous pockmarks and dimples +with which they were pitted placed him among the number of those over +whose faces, to quote the popular saying, “The Devil has walked by night +to grind peas.” In short, it would seem that no human agency could have +approached such a man and gained his goodwill. Yet Chichikov made the +effort. As a first step, he took to consulting the other’s convenience +in all manner of insignificant trifles--to cleaning his pens carefully, +and, when they had been prepared exactly to the Chief Clerk’s liking, +laying them ready at his elbow; to dusting and sweeping from his table +all superfluous sand and tobacco ash; to procuring a new mat for his +inkstand; to looking for his hat--the meanest-looking hat that ever +the world beheld--and having it ready for him at the exact moment when +business came to an end; to brushing his back if it happened to become +smeared with whitewash from a wall. Yet all this passed as unnoticed +as though it had never been done. Finally, Chichikov sniffed into his +superior’s family and domestic life, and learnt that he possessed a +grown-up daughter on whose face also there had taken place a nocturnal, +diabolical grinding of peas. HERE was a quarter whence a fresh attack +might be delivered! After ascertaining what church the daughter attended +on Sundays, our hero took to contriving to meet her in a neat suit and a +well-starched dickey: and soon the scheme began to work. The surly Chief +Clerk wavered for a while; then ended by inviting Chichikov to tea. Nor +could any man in the office have told you how it came about that before +long Chichikov had removed to the Chief Clerk’s house, and become a +person necessary--indeed indispensable--to the household, seeing that he +bought the flour and the sugar, treated the daughter as his betrothed, +called the Chief Clerk “Papenka,” and occasionally kissed “Papenka’s” + hand. In fact, every one at the office supposed that, at the end of +February (i.e. before the beginning of Lent) there would take place +a wedding. Nay, the surly father even began to agitate with the +authorities on Chichikov’s behalf, and so enabled our hero, on a vacancy +occurring, to attain the stool of a Chief Clerk. Apparently this marked +the consummation of Chichikov’s relations with his host, for he hastened +stealthily to pack his trunk and, the next day, figured in a fresh +lodging. Also, he ceased to call the Chief Clerk “Papenka,” or to kiss +his hand; and the matter of the wedding came to as abrupt a termination +as though it had never been mooted. Yet also he never failed to press +his late host’s hand, whenever he met him, and to invite him to tea; +while, on the other hand, for all his immobility and dry indifference, +the Chief Clerk never failed to shake his head with a muttered, “Ah, my +fine fellow, you have grown too proud, you have grown too proud.” + +The foregoing constituted the most difficult step that our hero had to +negotiate. Thereafter things came with greater ease and swifter +success. Everywhere he attracted notice, for he developed within +himself everything necessary for this world--namely, charm of manner +and bearing, and great diligence in business matters. Armed with these +resources, he next obtained promotion to what is known as “a fat post,” + and used it to the best advantage; and even though, at that period, +strict inquiry had begun to be made into the whole subject of bribes, +such inquiry failed to alarm him--nay, he actually turned it to account +and thereby manifested the Russian resourcefulness which never fails to +attain its zenith where extortion is concerned. His method of working +was the following. As soon as a petitioner or a suitor put his hand into +his pocket, to extract thence the necessary letters of recommendation +for signature, Chichikov would smilingly exclaim as he detained his +interlocutor’s hand: “No, no! Surely you do not think that I--? But no, +no! It is our duty, it is our obligation, and we do not require rewards +for doing our work properly. So far as YOUR matter is concerned, you may +rest easy. Everything shall be carried through to-morrow. But may I +have your address? There is no need to trouble yourself, seeing that the +documents can easily be brought to you at your residence.” Upon which +the delighted suitor would return home in raptures, thinking: “Here, at +long last, is the sort of man so badly needed. A man of that kind is +a jewel beyond price.” Yet for a day, for two days--nay, even for +three--the suitor would wait in vain so far as any messengers with +documents were concerned. Then he would repair to the office--to find +that his business had not so much as been entered upon! Lastly, he would +confront the “jewel beyond price.” “Oh, pardon me, pardon me!” Chichikov +would exclaim in the politest of tones as he seized and grasped the +visitor’s hands. “The truth is that we have SUCH a quantity of business +on hand! But the matter shall be put through to-morrow, and in the +meanwhile I am most sorry about it.” And with this would go the most +fascinating of gestures. Yet neither on the morrow, nor on the day +following, nor on the third would documents arrive at the suitor’s +abode. Upon that he would take thought as to whether something more +ought not to have been done; and, sure enough, on his making inquiry, +he would be informed that “something will have to be given to the +copyists.” “Well, there can be no harm in that,” he would reply. “As a +matter of fact, I have ready a tchetvertak [39] or two.” “Oh, no, no,” + the answer would come. “Not a tchetvertak per copyist, but a rouble, +is the fee.” “What? A rouble per copyist?” “Certainly. What is there to +grumble at in that? Of the money the copyists will receive a tchetvertak +apiece, and the rest will go to the Government.” Upon that the +disillusioned suitor would fly out upon the new order of things brought +about by the inquiry into illicit fees, and curse both the tchinovniks +and their uppish, insolent behaviour. “Once upon a time,” would the +suitor lament, “one DID know what to do. Once one had tipped the +Director a bank-note, one’s affair was, so to speak, in the hat. But +now one has to pay a rouble per copyist after waiting a week because +otherwise it was impossible to guess how the wind might set! The devil +fly away with all ‘disinterested’ and ‘trustworthy’ tchinovniks!” And +certainly the aggrieved suitor had reason to grumble, seeing that, +now that bribe-takers had ceased to exist, and Directors had uniformly +become men of honour and integrity, secretaries and clerks ought not +with impunity to have continued their thievish ways. In time there +opened out to Chichikov a still wider field, for a Commission was +appointed to supervise the erection of a Government building, and, on +his being nominated to that body, he proved himself one of its most +active members. The Commission got to work without delay, but for a +space of six years had some trouble with the building in question. +Either the climate hindered operations or the materials used were of the +kind which prevents official edifices from ever rising higher than the +basement. But, meanwhile, OTHER quarters of the town saw arise, for each +member of the Commission, a handsome house of the NON-official style of +architecture. Clearly the foundation afforded by the soil of those parts +was better than that where the Government building was still engaged +in hanging fire! Likewise the members of the Commission began to look +exceedingly prosperous, and to blossom out into family life; and, for +the first time in his existence, even Chichikov also departed from the +iron laws of his self-imposed restraint and inexorable self-denial, and +so far mitigated his heretofore asceticism as to show himself a man not +averse to those amenities which, during his youth, he had been capable +of renouncing. That is to say, certain superfluities began to make their +appearance in his establishment. He engaged a good cook, took to wearing +linen shirts, bought for himself cloth of a pattern worn by no one else +in the province, figured in checks shot with the brightest of reds and +browns, fitted himself out with two splendid horses (which he drove with +a single pair of reins, added to a ring attachment for the trace horse), +developed a habit of washing with a sponge dipped in eau-de-Cologne, and +invested in soaps of the most expensive quality, in order to communicate +to his skin a more elegant polish. + +But suddenly there appeared upon the scene a new Director--a military +man, and a martinet as regarded his hostility to bribe-takers and +anything which might be called irregular. On the very day after his +arrival he struck fear into every breast by calling for accounts, +discovering hosts of deficits and missing sums, and directing his +attention to the aforesaid fine houses of civilian architecture. Upon +that there ensued a complete reshuffling. Tchinovniks were retired +wholesale, and the houses were sequestrated to the Government, or else +converted into various pious institutions and schools for soldiers’ +children. Thus the whole fabric, and especially Chichikov, came crashing +to the ground. Particularly did our hero’s agreeable face displease the +new Director. Why that was so it is impossible to say, but frequently, +in cases of the kind, no reason exists. However, the Director conceived +a mortal dislike to him, and also extended that enmity to the whole of +Chichikov’s colleagues. But inasmuch as the said Director was a military +man, he was not fully acquainted with the myriad subtleties of the +civilian mind; wherefore it was not long before, by dint of maintaining +a discreet exterior, added to a faculty for humouring all and sundry, +a fresh gang of tchinovniks succeeded in restoring him to mildness, and +the General found himself in the hands of greater thieves than before, +but thieves whom he did not even suspect, seeing that he believed +himself to have selected men fit and proper, and even ventured to +boast of possessing a keen eye for talent. In a trice the tchinovniks +concerned appraised his spirit and character; with the result that the +entire sphere over which he ruled became an agency for the detection of +irregularities. Everywhere, and in every case, were those irregularities +pursued as a fisherman pursues a fat sturgeon with a gaff; and to such +an extent did the sport prove successful that almost in no time each +participator in the hunt was seen to be in possession of several +thousand roubles of capital. Upon that a large number of the former band +of tchinovniks also became converted to paths of rectitude, and were +allowed to re-enter the Service; but not by hook or by crook could +Chichikov worm his way back, even though, incited thereto by sundry +items of paper currency, the General’s first secretary and principal +bear leader did all he could on our hero’s behalf. It seemed that the +General was the kind of man who, though easily led by the nose (provided +it was done without his knowledge) no sooner got an idea into his head +than it stuck there like a nail, and could not possibly be extracted; +and all that the wily secretary succeeded in procuring was the tearing +up of a certain dirty fragment of paper--even that being effected only +by an appeal to the General’s compassion, on the score of the unhappy +fate which, otherwise, would befall Chichikov’s wife and children (who, +luckily, had no existence in fact). + +“Well,” said Chichikov to himself, “I have done my best, and now +everything has failed. Lamenting my misfortune won’t help me, but only +action.” And with that he decided to begin his career anew, and once +more to arm himself with the weapons of patience and self-denial. The +better to effect this, he had, of course to remove to another town. Yet +somehow, for a while, things miscarried. More than once he found himself +forced to exchange one post for another, and at the briefest of notice; +and all of them were posts of the meanest, the most wretched, order. +Yet, being a man of the utmost nicety of feeling, the fact that he found +himself rubbing shoulders with anything but nice companions did not +prevent him from preserving intact his innate love of what was decent +and seemly, or from cherishing the instinct which led him to hanker +after office fittings of lacquered wood, with neatness and orderliness +everywhere. Nor did he at any time permit a foul word to creep into +his speech, and would feel hurt even if in the speech of others there +occurred a scornful reference to anything which pertained to rank and +dignity. Also, the reader will be pleased to know that our hero changed +his linen every other day, and in summer, when the weather was very +hot, EVERY day, seeing that the very faintest suspicion of an unpleasant +odour offended his fastidiousness. For the same reason it was his +custom, before being valeted by Petrushka, always to plug his nostrils +with a couple of cloves. In short, there were many occasions when his +nerves suffered rackings as cruel as a young girl’s, and so helped to +increase his disgust at having once more to associate with men who set +no store by the decencies of life. Yet, though he braced himself to the +task, this period of adversity told upon his health, and he even grew a +trifle shabby. More than once, on happening to catch sight of himself +in the mirror, he could not forbear exclaiming: “Holy Mother of God, +but what a nasty-looking brute I have become!” and for a long while +afterwards could not with anything like sang-froid contemplate his +reflection. Yet throughout he bore up stoutly and patiently--and ended +by being transferred to the Customs Department. It may be said that the +department had long constituted the secret goal of his ambition, for +he had noted the foreign elegancies with which its officials always +contrived to provide themselves, and had also observed that invariably +they were able to send presents of china and cambric to their sisters +and aunts--well, to their lady friends generally. Yes, more than once +he had said to himself with a sigh: “THAT is the department to which I +ought to belong, for, given a town near the frontier, and a sensible set +of colleagues, I might be able to fit myself out with excellent linen +shirts.” Also, it may be said that most frequently of all had his +thoughts turned towards a certain quality of French soap which imparted +a peculiar whiteness to the skin and a peerless freshness to the cheeks. +Its name is known to God alone, but at least it was to be procured only +in the immediate neighbourhood of the frontier. So, as I say, Chichikov +had long felt a leaning towards the Customs, but for a time had been +restrained from applying for the same by the various current advantages +of the Building Commission; since rightly he had adjudged the latter to +constitute a bird in the hand, and the former to constitute only a bird +in the bush. But now he decided that, come what might, into the Customs +he must make his way. And that way he made, and then applied himself +to his new duties with a zeal born of the fact that he realised that +fortune had specially marked him out for a Customs officer. Indeed, +such activity, perspicuity, and ubiquity as his had never been seen or +thought of. Within four weeks at the most he had so thoroughly got his +hand in that he was conversant with Customs procedure in every detail. +Not only could he weigh and measure, but also he could divine from +an invoice how many arshins of cloth or other material a given piece +contained, and then, taking a roll of the latter in his hand, could +specify at once the number of pounds at which it would tip the scale. As +for searchings, well, even his colleagues had to admit that he possessed +the nose of a veritable bloodhound, and that it was impossible not +to marvel at the patience wherewith he would try every button of the +suspected person, yet preserve, throughout, a deadly politeness and an +icy sang-froid which surpass belief. And while the searched were raging, +and foaming at the mouth, and feeling that they would give worlds to +alter his smiling exterior with a good, resounding slap, he would +move not a muscle of his face, nor abate by a jot the urbanity of his +demeanour, as he murmured, “Do you mind so far incommoding yourself as +to stand up?” or “Pray step into the next room, madam, where the wife +of one of our staff will attend you,” or “Pray allow me to slip this +penknife of mine into the lining of your coat” (after which he would +extract thence shawls and towels with as much nonchalance as he +would have done from his own travelling-trunk). Even his superiors +acknowledged him to be a devil at the job, rather than a human being, so +perfect was his instinct for looking into cart-wheels, carriage-poles, +horses’ ears, and places whither an author ought not to penetrate even +in thought--places whither only a Customs official is permitted to go. +The result was that the wretched traveller who had just crossed the +frontier would, within a few minutes, become wholly at sea, and, wiping +away the perspiration, and breaking out into body flushes, would be +reduced to crossing himself and muttering, “Well, well, well!” In fact, +such a traveller would feel in the position of a schoolboy who, having +been summoned to the presence of the headmaster for the ostensible +purpose of being given an order, has found that he receives, instead, a +sound flogging. In short, for some time Chichikov made it impossible +for smugglers to earn a living. In particular, he reduced Polish +Jewry almost to despair, so invincible, so almost unnatural, was the +rectitude, the incorruptibility which led him to refrain from converting +himself into a small capitalist with the aid of confiscated goods and +articles which, “to save excessive clerical labour,” had failed to be +handed over to the Government. Also, without saying it goes that +such phenomenally zealous and disinterested service attracted general +astonishment, and, eventually, the notice of the authorities; whereupon +he received promotion, and followed that up by mooting a scheme for +the infallible detection of contrabandists, provided that he could be +furnished with the necessary authority for carrying out the same. At +once such authority was accorded him, as also unlimited power to conduct +every species of search and investigation. And that was all he +wanted. It happened that previously there had been formed a well-found +association for smuggling on regular, carefully prepared lines, and +that this daring scheme seemed to promise profit to the extent of +some millions of money: yet, though he had long had knowledge of it, +Chichikov had said to the association’s emissaries, when sent to buy him +over, “The time is not yet.” But now that he had got all the reins into +his hands, he sent word of the fact to the gang, and with it the remark, +“The time is NOW.” Nor was he wrong in his calculations, for, within +the space of a year, he had acquired what he could not have made during +twenty years of non-fraudulent service. With similar sagacity he had, +during his early days in the department, declined altogether to enter +into relations with the association, for the reason that he had then +been a mere cipher, and would have come in for nothing large in the way +of takings; but now--well, now it was another matter altogether, and +he could dictate what terms he liked. Moreover, that the affair might +progress the more smoothly, he suborned a fellow tchinovnik of the type +which, in spite of grey hairs, stands powerless against temptation; +and, the contract concluded, the association duly proceeded to business. +Certainly business began brilliantly. But probably most of my readers +are familiar with the oft-repeated story of the passage of Spanish sheep +across the frontier in double fleeces which carried between their outer +layers and their inner enough lace of Brabant to sell to the tune of +millions of roubles; wherefore I will not recount the story again beyond +saying that those journeys took place just when Chichikov had become +head of the Customs, and that, had he not a hand in the enterprise, not +all the Jews in the world could have brought it to success. By the time +that three or four of these ovine invasions had taken place, Chichikov +and his accomplice had come to be the possessors of four hundred +thousand roubles apiece; while some even aver that the former’s gains +totalled half a million, owing to the greater industry which he had +displayed in the matter. Nor can any one but God say to what a figure +the fortunes of the pair might not eventually have attained, had not an +awkward contretemps cut right across their arrangements. That is to +say, for some reason or another the devil so far deprived these +tchinovnik-conspirators of sense as to make them come to words with +one another, and then to engage in a quarrel. Beginning with a heated +argument, this quarrel reached the point of Chichikov--who was, +possibly, a trifle tipsy--calling his colleague a priest’s son; and +though that description of the person so addressed was perfectly +accurate, he chose to take offence, and to answer Chichikov with the +words (loudly and incisively uttered), “It is YOU who have a priest for +your father,” and to add to that (the more to incense his companion), +“Yes, mark you! THAT is how it is.” Yet, though he had thus turned the +tables upon Chichikov with a tu quoque, and then capped that exploit +with the words last quoted, the offended tchinovnik could not remain +satisfied, but went on to send in an anonymous document to the +authorities. On the other hand, some aver that it was over a woman that +the pair fell out--over a woman who, to quote the phrase then current +among the staff of the Customs Department, was “as fresh and as strong +as the pulp of a turnip,” and that night-birds were hired to assault our +hero in a dark alley, and that the scheme miscarried, and that in any +case both Chichikov and his friend had been deceived, seeing that the +person to whom the lady had really accorded her favours was a certain +staff-captain named Shamsharev. However, only God knows the truth of the +matter. Let the inquisitive reader ferret it out for himself. The fact +remains that a complete exposure of the dealings with the contrabandists +followed, and that the two tchinovniks were put to the question, +deprived of their property, and made to formulate in writing all that +they had done. Against this thunderbolt of fortune the State Councillor +could make no headway, and in some retired spot or another sank into +oblivion; but Chichikov put a brave face upon the matter, for, in +spite of the authorities’ best efforts to smell out his gains, he had +contrived to conceal a portion of them, and also resorted to every +subtle trick of intellect which could possibly be employed by an +experienced man of the world who has a wide knowledge of his fellows. +Nothing which could be effected by pleasantness of demeanour, by moving +oratory, by clouds of flattery, and by the occasional insertion of +a coin into a palm did he leave undone; with the result that he was +retired with less ignominy than was his companion, and escaped actual +trial on a criminal charge. Yet he issued stripped of all his capital, +stripped of his imported effects, stripped of everything. That is to +say, all that remained to him consisted of ten thousand roubles which he +had stored against a rainy day, two dozen linen shirts, a small britchka +of the type used by bachelors, and two serving-men named Selifan and +Petrushka. Yes, and an impulse of kindness moved the tchinovniks of the +Customs also to set aside for him a few cakes of the soap which he had +found so excellent for the freshness of the cheeks. Thus once more our +hero found himself stranded. And what an accumulation of misfortunes had +descended upon his head!--though, true, he termed them “suffering in the +Service in the cause of Truth.” Certainly one would have thought that, +after these buffetings and trials and changes of fortune--after this +taste of the sorrows of life--he and his precious ten thousand roubles +would have withdrawn to some peaceful corner in a provincial town, +where, clad in a stuff dressing-gown, he could have sat and listened to +the peasants quarrelling on festival days, or (for the sake of a breath +of fresh air) have gone in person to the poulterer’s to finger chickens +for soup, and so have spent a quiet, but not wholly useless, existence; +but nothing of the kind took place, and therein we must do justice to +the strength of his character. In other words, although he had undergone +what, to the majority of men, would have meant ruin and discouragement +and a shattering of ideals, he still preserved his energy. True, +downcast and angry, and full of resentment against the world in general, +he felt furious with the injustice of fate, and dissatisfied with +the dealings of men; yet he could not forbear courting additional +experiences. In short, the patience which he displayed was such as to +make the wooden persistency of the German--a persistency merely due to +the slow, lethargic circulation of the Teuton’s blood--seem nothing at +all, seeing that by nature Chichikov’s blood flowed strongly, and +that he had to employ much force of will to curb within himself those +elements which longed to burst forth and revel in freedom. He thought +things over, and, as he did so, a certain spice of reason appeared in +his reflections. + +“How have I come to be what I am?” he said to himself. “Why has +misfortune overtaken me in this way? Never have I wronged a poor person, +or robbed a widow, or turned any one out of doors: I have always been +careful only to take advantage of those who possess more than their +share. Moreover, I have never gleaned anywhere but where every one else +was gleaning; and, had I not done so, others would have gleaned in my +place. Why, then, should those others be prospering, and I be sunk as +low as a worm? What am I? What am I good for? How can I, in future, hope +to look any honest father of a family in the face? How shall I escape +being tortured with the thought that I am cumbering the ground? What, +in the years to come, will my children say, save that ‘our father was a +brute, for he left us nothing to live upon?’” + +Here I may remark that we have seen how much thought Chichikov devoted +to his future descendants. Indeed, had not there been constantly +recurring to his mind the insistent question, “What will my children +say?” he might not have plunged into the affair so deeply. Nevertheless, +like a wary cat which glances hither and thither to see whether its +mistress be not coming before it can make off with whatsoever first +falls to its paw (butter, fat, lard, a duck, or anything else), so our +future founder of a family continued, though weeping and bewailing +his lot, to let not a single detail escape his eye. That is to say, +he retained his wits ever in a state of activity, and kept his brain +constantly working. All that he required was a plan. Once more he pulled +himself together, once more he embarked upon a life of toil, once more +he stinted himself in everything, once more he left clean and decent +surroundings for a dirty, mean existence. In other words, until +something better should turn up, he embraced the calling of an ordinary +attorney--a calling which, not then possessed of a civic status, was +jostled on very side, enjoyed little respect at the hands of the minor +legal fry (or, indeed, at its own), and perforce met with universal +slights and rudeness. But sheer necessity compelled Chichikov to face +these things. Among commissions entrusted to him was that of placing in +the hands of the Public Trustee several hundred peasants who belonged +to a ruined estate. The estate had reached its parlous condition through +cattle disease, through rascally bailiffs, through failures of the +harvest, through such epidemic diseases that had killed off the best +workmen, and, last, but not least, through the senseless conduct of the +owner himself, who had furnished a house in Moscow in the latest style, +and then squandered his every kopeck, so that nothing was left for +his further maintenance, and it became necessary to mortgage the +remains--including the peasants--of the estate. In those days mortgage +to the Treasury was an innovation looked upon with reserve, and, as +attorney in the matter, Chichikov had first of all to “entertain” every +official concerned (we know that, unless that be previously done, unless +a whole bottle of madeira first be emptied down each clerical throat, +not the smallest legal affair can be carried through), and to explain, +for the barring of future attachments, that half of the peasants were +dead. + +“And are they entered on the revision lists?” asked the secretary. +“Yes,” replied Chichikov. “Then what are you boggling at?” continued the +Secretary. “Should one soul die, another will be born, and in time grow +up to take the first one’s place.” Upon that there dawned on our hero +one of the most inspired ideas which ever entered the human brain. “What +a simpleton I am!” he thought to himself. “Here am I looking about for +my mittens when all the time I have got them tucked into my belt. Why, +were I myself to buy up a few souls which are dead--to buy them before +a new revision list shall have been made, the Council of Public Trust +might pay me two hundred roubles apiece for them, and I might find +myself with, say, a capital of two hundred thousand roubles! The present +moment is particularly propitious, since in various parts of the country +there has been an epidemic, and, glory be to God, a large number of +souls have died of it. Nowadays landowners have taken to card-playing +and junketting and wasting their money, or to joining the Civil Service +in St. Petersburg; consequently their estates are going to rack and +ruin, and being managed in any sort of fashion, and succeeding in paying +their dues with greater difficulty each year. That being so, not a man +of the lot but would gladly surrender to me his dead souls rather than +continue paying the poll-tax; and in this fashion I might make--well, +not a few kopecks. Of course there are difficulties, and, to avoid +creating a scandal, I should need to employ plenty of finesse; but man +was given his brain to USE, not to neglect. One good point about the +scheme is that it will seem so improbable that in case of an accident, +no one in the world will believe in it. True, it is illegal to buy or +mortgage peasants without land, but I can easily pretend to be buying +them only for transferment elsewhere. Land is to be acquired in the +provinces of Taurida and Kherson almost for nothing, provided that one +undertakes subsequently to colonise it; so to Kherson I will ‘transfer’ +them, and long may they live there! And the removal of my dead souls +shall be carried out in the strictest legal form; and if the authorities +should want confirmation by testimony, I shall produce a letter signed +by my own superintendent of the Khersonian rural police--that is to +say, by myself. Lastly, the supposed village in Kherson shall be called +Chichikovoe--better still Pavlovskoe, according to my Christian name.” + +In this fashion there germinated in our hero’s brain that strange scheme +for which the reader may or may not be grateful, but for which the +author certainly is so, seeing that, had it never occurred to Chichikov, +this story would never have seen the light. + +After crossing himself, according to the Russian custom, Chichikov set +about carrying out his enterprise. On pretence of selecting a place +wherein to settle, he started forth to inspect various corners of the +Russian Empire, but more especially those which had suffered from +such unfortunate accidents as failures of the harvest, a high rate of +mortality, or whatsoever else might enable him to purchase souls at the +lowest possible rate. But he did not tackle his landowners haphazard: he +rather selected such of them as seemed more particularly suited to his +taste, or with whom he might with the least possible trouble conclude +identical agreements; though, in the first instance, he always tried, by +getting on terms of acquaintanceship--better still, of friendship--with +them, to acquire the souls for nothing, and so to avoid purchase at all. +In passing, my readers must not blame me if the characters whom they +have encountered in these pages have not been altogether to their +liking. The fault is Chichikov’s rather than mine, for he is the master, +and where he leads we must follow. Also, should my readers gird at me +for a certain dimness and want of clarity in my principal characters +and actors, that will be tantamount to saying that never do the broad +tendency and the general scope of a work become immediately apparent. +Similarly does the entry to every town--the entry even to the Capital +itself--convey to the traveller such an impression of vagueness that +at first everything looks grey and monotonous, and the lines of smoky +factories and workshops seem never to be coming to an end; but in time +there will begin also to stand out the outlines of six-storied mansions, +and of shops and balconies, and wide perspectives of streets, and a +medley of steeples, columns, statues, and turrets--the whole framed in +rattle and roar and the infinite wonders which the hand and the brain of +men have conceived. Of the manner in which Chichikov’s first purchases +were made the reader is aware. Subsequently he will see also how the +affair progressed, and with what success or failure our hero met, +and how Chichikov was called upon to decide and to overcome even more +difficult problems than the foregoing, and by what colossal forces the +levers of his far-flung tale are moved, and how eventually the horizon +will become extended until everything assumes a grandiose and a lyrical +tendency. Yes, many a verst of road remains to be travelled by a party +made up of an elderly gentleman, a britchka of the kind affected by +bachelors, a valet named Petrushka, a coachman named Selifan, and +three horses which, from the Assessor to the skewbald, are known to us +individually by name. Again, although I have given a full description of +our hero’s exterior (such as it is), I may yet be asked for an inclusive +definition also of his moral personality. That he is no hero compounded +of virtues and perfections must be already clear. Then WHAT is he? A +villain? Why should we call him a villain? Why should we be so hard upon +a fellow man? In these days our villains have ceased to exist. Rather +it would be fairer to call him an ACQUIRER. The love of acquisition, the +love of gain, is a fault common to many, and gives rise to many and many +a transaction of the kind generally known as “not strictly honourable.” + True, such a character contains an element of ugliness, and the same +reader who, on his journey through life, would sit at the board of a +character of this kind, and spend a most agreeable time with him, would +be the first to look at him askance if he should appear in the guise of +the hero of a novel or a play. But wise is the reader who, on meeting +such a character, scans him carefully, and, instead of shrinking from +him with distaste, probes him to the springs of his being. The human +personality contains nothing which may not, in the twinkling of an eye, +become altogether changed--nothing in which, before you can look round, +there may not spring to birth some cankerous worm which is destined to +suck thence the essential juice. Yes, it is a common thing to see not +only an overmastering passion, but also a passion of the most petty +order, arise in a man who was born to better things, and lead him both +to forget his greatest and most sacred obligations, and to see only in +the veriest trifles the Great and the Holy. For human passions are as +numberless as is the sand of the seashore, and go on to become his most +insistent of masters. Happy, therefore, the man who may choose from +among the gamut of human passions one which is noble! Hour by hour will +that instinct grow and multiply in its measureless beneficence; hour by +hour will it sink deeper and deeper into the infinite paradise of his +soul. But there are passions of which a man cannot rid himself, seeing +that they are born with him at his birth, and he has no power to abjure +them. Higher powers govern those passions, and in them is something +which will call to him, and refuse to be silenced, to the end of his +life. Yes, whether in a guise of darkness, or whether in a guise which +will become converted into a light to lighten the world, they will and +must attain their consummation on life’s field: and in either case they +have been evoked for man’s good. In the same way may the passion +which drew our Chichikov onwards have been one that was independent of +himself; in the same way may there have lurked even in his cold essence +something which will one day cause men to humble themselves in the dust +before the infinite wisdom of God. + +Yet that folk should be dissatisfied with my hero matters nothing. What +matters is the fact that, under different circumstances, their approval +could have been taken as a foregone conclusion. That is to say, had not +the author pried over-deeply into Chichikov’s soul, nor stirred up in +its depths what shunned and lay hidden from the light, nor disclosed +those of his hero’s thoughts which that hero would have not have +disclosed even to his most intimate friend; had the author, indeed, +exhibited Chichikov just as he exhibited himself to the townsmen of +N. and Manilov and the rest; well, then we may rest assured that every +reader would have been delighted with him, and have voted him a most +interesting person. For it is not nearly so necessary that Chichikov +should figure before the reader as though his form and person were +actually present to the eye as that, on concluding a perusal of this +work, the reader should be able to return, unharrowed in soul, to that +cult of the card-table which is the solace and delight of all good +Russians. Yes, readers of this book, none of you really care to see +humanity revealed in its nakedness. “Why should we do so?” you say. +“What would be the use of it? Do we not know for ourselves that human +life contains much that is gross and contemptible? Do we not with our +own eyes have to look upon much that is anything but comforting? +Far better would it be if you would put before us what is comely and +attractive, so that we might forget ourselves a little.” In the same +fashion does a landowner say to his bailiff: “Why do you come and tell +me that the affairs of my estate are in a bad way? I know that without +YOUR help. Have you nothing else to tell me? Kindly allow me to forget +the fact, or else to remain in ignorance of it, and I shall be much +obliged to you.” Whereafter the said landowner probably proceeds to +spend on his diversion the money which ought to have gone towards the +rehabilitation of his affairs. + +Possibly the author may also incur censure at the hands of those +so-called “patriots” who sit quietly in corners, and become capitalists +through making fortunes at the expense of others. Yes, let but something +which they conceive to be derogatory to their country occur--for +instance, let there be published some book which voices the bitter +truth--and out they will come from their hiding-places like a spider +which perceives a fly to be caught in its web. “Is it well to proclaim +this to the world, and to set folk talking about it?” they will cry. +“What you have described touches US, is OUR affair. Is conduct of that +kind right? What will foreigners say? Does any one care calmly to sit +by and hear himself traduced? Why should you lead foreigners to suppose +that all is not well with us, and that we are not patriotic?” Well, to +these sage remarks no answer can really be returned, especially to such +of the above as refer to foreign opinion. But see here. There once lived +in a remote corner of Russia two natives of the region indicated. One of +those natives was a good man named Kifa Mokievitch, and a man of kindly +disposition; a man who went through life in a dressing-gown, and paid no +heed to his household, for the reason that his whole being was centred +upon the province of speculation, and that, in particular, he was +preoccupied with a philosophical problem usually stated by him thus: +“A beast,” he would say, “is born naked. Now, why should that be? Why +should not a beast be born as a bird is born--that is to say, through +the process of being hatched from an egg? Nature is beyond the +understanding, however much one may probe her.” This was the substance +of Kifa Mokievitch’s reflections. But herein is not the chief point. +The other of the pair was a fellow named Mofi Kifovitch, and son to the +first named. He was what we Russians call a “hero,” and while his +father was pondering the parturition of beasts, his, the son’s, lusty, +twenty-year-old temperament was violently struggling for development. +Yet that son could tackle nothing without some accident occurring. At +one moment would he crack some one’s fingers in half, and at another +would he raise a bump on somebody’s nose; so that both at home +and abroad every one and everything--from the serving-maid to the +yard-dog--fled on his approach, and even the bed in his bedroom became +shattered to splinters. Such was Mofi Kifovitch; and with it all he had +a kindly soul. But herein is not the chief point. “Good sir, good Kifa +Mokievitch,” servants and neighbours would come and say to the father, +“what are you going to do about your Moki Kifovitch? We get no rest from +him, he is so above himself.” “That is only his play, that is only his +play,” the father would reply. “What else can you expect? It is too late +now to start a quarrel with him, and, moreover, every one would accuse +me of harshness. True, he is a little conceited; but, were I to reprove +him in public, the whole thing would become common talk, and folk would +begin giving him a dog’s name. And if they did that, would not their +opinion touch me also, seeing that I am his father? Also, I am busy with +philosophy, and have no time for such things. Lastly, Moki Kifovitch +is my son, and very dear to my heart.” And, beating his breast, Kifa +Mokievitch again asserted that, even though his son should elect +to continue his pranks, it would not be for HIM, for the father, +to proclaim the fact, or to fall out with his offspring. And, this +expression of paternal feeling uttered, Kifa Mokievitch left Moki +Kifovitch to his heroic exploits, and himself returned to his beloved +subject of speculation, which now included also the problem, “Suppose +elephants were to take to being hatched from eggs, would not the +shell of such eggs be of a thickness proof against cannonballs, and +necessitate the invention of some new type of firearm?” Thus at the end +of this little story we have these two denizens of a peaceful corner of +Russia looking thence, as from a window, in less terror of doing what +was scandalous than of having it SAID of them that they were acting +scandalously. Yes, the feeling animating our so-called “patriots” is not +true patriotism at all. Something else lies beneath it. Who, if not an +author, is to speak aloud the truth? Men like you, my pseudo-patriots, +stand in dread of the eye which is able to discern, yet shrink from +using your own, and prefer, rather, to glance at everything unheedingly. +Yes, after laughing heartily over Chichikov’s misadventures, and perhaps +even commending the author for his dexterity of observation and pretty +turn of wit, you will look at yourselves with redoubled pride and a +self-satisfied smile, and add: “Well, we agree that in certain parts of +the provinces there exists strange and ridiculous individuals, as well +as unconscionable rascals.” + +Yet which of you, when quiet, and alone, and engaged in solitary +self-communion, would not do well to probe YOUR OWN souls, and to put +to YOURSELVES the solemn question, “Is there not in ME an element of +Chichikov?” For how should there not be? Which of you is not liable at +any moment to be passed in the street by an acquaintance who, nudging +his neighbour, may say of you, with a barely suppressed sneer: “Look! +there goes Chichikov! That is Chichikov who has just gone by!” + +But here are we talking at the top of our voices whilst all the time our +hero lies slumbering in his britchka! Indeed, his name has been repeated +so often during the recital of his life’s history that he must almost +have heard us! And at any time he is an irritable, irascible fellow when +spoken of with disrespect. True, to the reader Chichikov’s displeasure +cannot matter a jot; but for the author it would mean ruin to quarrel +with his hero, seeing that, arm in arm, Chichikov and he have yet far to +go. + +“Tut, tut, tut!” came in a shout from Chichikov. “Hi, Selifan!” + +“What is it?” came the reply, uttered with a drawl. + +“What is it? Why, how dare you drive like that? Come! Bestir yourself a +little!” + +And indeed, Selifan had long been sitting with half-closed eyes, and +hands which bestowed no encouragement upon his somnolent steeds save an +occasional flicking of the reins against their flanks; whilst Petrushka +had lost his cap, and was leaning backwards until his head had come to +rest against Chichikov’s knees--a position which necessitated his being +awakened with a cuff. Selifan also roused himself, and apportioned to +the skewbald a few cuts across the back of a kind which at least had the +effect of inciting that animal to trot; and when, presently, the other +two horses followed their companion’s example, the light britchka moved +forwards like a piece of thistledown. Selifan flourished his whip and +shouted, “Hi, hi!” as the inequalities of the road jerked him vertically +on his seat; and meanwhile, reclining against the leather cushions +of the vehicle’s interior, Chichikov smiled with gratification at the +sensation of driving fast. For what Russian does not love to drive fast? +Which of us does not at times yearn to give his horses their head, and +to let them go, and to cry, “To the devil with the world!”? At such +moments a great force seems to uplift one as on wings; and one flies, +and everything else flies, but contrariwise--both the verst stones, and +traders riding on the shafts of their waggons, and the forest with +dark lines of spruce and fir amid which may be heard the axe of the +woodcutter and the croaking of the raven. Yes, out of a dim, remote +distance the road comes towards one, and while nothing save the sky and +the light clouds through which the moon is cleaving her way seem halted, +the brief glimpses wherein one can discern nothing clearly have in them +a pervading touch of mystery. Ah, troika, troika, swift as a bird, who +was it first invented you? Only among a hardy race of folk can you have +come to birth--only in a land which, though poor and rough, lies spread +over half the world, and spans versts the counting whereof would leave +one with aching eyes. Nor are you a modishly-fashioned vehicle of the +road--a thing of clamps and iron. Rather, you are a vehicle but shapen +and fitted with the axe or chisel of some handy peasant of Yaroslav. +Nor are you driven by a coachman clothed in German livery, but by a man +bearded and mittened. See him as he mounts, and flourishes his whip, and +breaks into a long-drawn song! Away like the wind go the horses, and +the wheels, with their spokes, become transparent circles, and the +road seems to quiver beneath them, and a pedestrian, with a cry of +astonishment, halts to watch the vehicle as it flies, flies, flies on +its way until it becomes lost on the ultimate horizon--a speck amid a +cloud of dust! + +And you, Russia of mine--are not you also speeding like a troika which +nought can overtake? Is not the road smoking beneath your wheels, and +the bridges thundering as you cross them, and everything being left in +the rear, and the spectators, struck with the portent, halting to wonder +whether you be not a thunderbolt launched from heaven? What does that +awe-inspiring progress of yours foretell? What is the unknown force +which lies within your mysterious steeds? Surely the winds themselves +must abide in their manes, and every vein in their bodies be an +ear stretched to catch the celestial message which bids them, with +iron-girded breasts, and hooves which barely touch the earth as +they gallop, fly forward on a mission of God? Whither, then, are +you speeding, O Russia of mine? Whither? Answer me! But no answer +comes--only the weird sound of your collar-bells. Rent into a thousand +shreds, the air roars past you, for you are overtaking the whole world, +and shall one day force all nations, all empires to stand aside, to give +you way! + + 1841. + + + + +PART II + + + +CHAPTER I + +Why do I so persistently paint the poverty, the imperfections of Russian +life, and delve into the remotest depths, the most retired holes and +corners, of our Empire for my subjects? The answer is that there is +nothing else to be done when an author’s idiosyncrasy happens to incline +him that way. So again we find ourselves in a retired spot. But what a +spot! + +Imagine, if you can, a mountain range like a gigantic fortress, with +embrasures and bastions which appear to soar a thousand versts towards +the heights of heaven, and, towering grandly over a boundless expanse +of plain, are broken up into precipitous, overhanging limestone cliffs. +Here and there those cliffs are seamed with water-courses and gullies, +while at other points they are rounded off into spurs of green--spurs +now coated with fleece-like tufts of young undergrowth, now studded with +the stumps of felled trees, now covered with timber which has, by some +miracle, escaped the woodman’s axe. Also, a river winds awhile between +its banks, then leaves the meadow land, divides into runlets (all +flashing in the sun like fire), plunges, re-united, into the midst of a +thicket of elder, birch, and pine, and, lastly, speeds triumphantly past +bridges and mills and weirs which seem to be lying in wait for it at +every turn. + +At one particular spot the steep flank of the mountain range is covered +with billowy verdure of denser growth than the rest; and here the aid of +skilful planting, added to the shelter afforded by a rugged ravine, has +enabled the flora of north and south so to be brought together that, +twined about with sinuous hop-tendrils, the oak, the spruce fir, the +wild pear, the maple, the cherry, the thorn, and the mountain ash either +assist or check one another’s growth, and everywhere cover the declivity +with their straggling profusion. Also, at the edge of the summit there +can be seen mingling with the green of the trees the red roofs of a +manorial homestead, while behind the upper stories of the mansion proper +and its carved balcony and a great semi-circular window there gleam the +tiles and gables of some peasants’ huts. Lastly, over this combination +of trees and roofs there rises--overtopping everything with its gilded, +sparkling steeple--an old village church. On each of its pinnacles a +cross of carved gilt is stayed with supports of similar gilding and +design; with the result that from a distance the gilded portions +have the effect of hanging without visible agency in the air. And +the whole--the three successive tiers of woodland, roofs, and crosses +whole--lies exquisitely mirrored in the river below, where hollow +willows, grotesquely shaped (some of them rooted on the river’s banks, +and some in the water itself, and all drooping their branches until +their leaves have formed a tangle with the water lilies which float on +the surface), seem to be gazing at the marvellous reflection at their +feet. + +Thus the view from below is beautiful indeed. But the view from above +is even better. No guest, no visitor, could stand on the balcony of the +mansion and remain indifferent. So boundless is the panorama revealed +that surprise would cause him to catch at his breath, and exclaim: “Lord +of Heaven, but what a prospect!” Beyond meadows studded with spinneys +and water-mills lie forests belted with green; while beyond, again, +there can be seen showing through the slightly misty air strips of +yellow heath, and, again, wide-rolling forests (as blue as the sea or a +cloud), and more heath, paler than the first, but still yellow. Finally, +on the far horizon a range of chalk-topped hills gleams white, even in +dull weather, as though it were lightened with perpetual sunshine; +and here and there on the dazzling whiteness of its lower slopes some +plaster-like, nebulous patches represent far-off villages which lie +too remote for the eye to discern their details. Indeed, only when the +sunlight touches a steeple to gold does one realise that each such +patch is a human settlement. Finally, all is wrapped in an immensity of +silence which even the far, faint echoes of persons singing in the void +of the plain cannot shatter. + +Even after gazing at the spectacle for a couple of hours or so, the +visitor would still find nothing to say, save: “Lord of Heaven, but +what a prospect!” Then who is the dweller in, the proprietor of, this +manor--a manor to which, as to an impregnable fortress, entrance cannot +be gained from the side where we have been standing, but only from the +other approach, where a few scattered oaks offer hospitable welcome to +the visitor, and then, spreading above him their spacious branches (as +in friendly embrace), accompany him to the facade of the mansion whose +top we have been regarding from the reverse aspect, but which now stands +frontwise on to us, and has, on one side of it, a row of peasants’ huts +with red tiles and carved gables, and, on the other, the village church, +with those glittering golden crosses and gilded open-work charms which +seem to hang suspended in the air? Yes, indeed!--to what fortunate +individual does this corner of the world belong? It belongs to Andrei +Ivanovitch Tientietnikov, landowner of the canton of Tremalakhan, and, +withal, a bachelor of about thirty. + +Should my lady readers ask of me what manner of man is Tientietnikov, +and what are his attributes and peculiarities, I should refer them +to his neighbours. Of these, a member of the almost extinct tribe +of intelligent staff officers on the retired list once summed up +Tientietnikov in the phrase, “He is an absolute blockhead;” while a +General who resided ten versts away was heard to remark that “he is a +young man who, though not exactly a fool, has at least too much crowded +into his head. I myself might have been of use to him, for not only do +I maintain certain connections with St. Petersburg, but also--” And the +General left his sentence unfinished. Thirdly, a captain-superintendent +of rural police happened to remark in the course of conversation: +“To-morrow I must go and see Tientietnikov about his arrears.” Lastly, +a peasant of Tientietnikov’s own village, when asked what his barin was +like, returned no answer at all. All of which would appear to show that +Tientietnikov was not exactly looked upon with favour. + +To speak dispassionately, however, he was not a bad sort of +fellow--merely a star-gazer; and since the world contains many watchers +of the skies, why should Tientietnikov not have been one of them? +However, let me describe in detail a specimen day of his existence--one +that will closely resemble the rest, and then the reader will be enabled +to judge of Tientietnikov’s character, and how far his life corresponded +to the beauties of nature with which he lived surrounded. + +On the morning of the specimen day in question he awoke very late, and, +raising himself to a sitting posture, rubbed his eyes. And since those +eyes were small, the process of rubbing them occupied a very long time, +and throughout its continuance there stood waiting by the door his +valet, Mikhailo, armed with a towel and basin. For one hour, for two +hours, did poor Mikhailo stand there: then he departed to the kitchen, +and returned to find his master still rubbing his eyes as he sat on the +bed. At length, however, Tientietnikov rose, washed himself, donned a +dressing-gown, and moved into the drawing-room for morning tea, coffee, +cocoa, and warm milk; of all of which he partook but sparingly, while +munching a piece of bread, and scattering tobacco ash with complete +insouciance. Two hours did he sit over this meal, then poured himself +out another cup of the rapidly cooling tea, and walked to the window. +This faced the courtyard, and outside it, as usual, there took place the +following daily altercation between a serf named Grigory (who purported +to act as butler) and the housekeeper, Perfilievna. + +Grigory. Ah, you nuisance, you good-for-nothing, you had better hold +your stupid tongue. + +Perfilievna. Yes; and don’t you wish that I would? + +Grigory. What? You so thick with that bailiff of yours, you housekeeping +jade! + +Perfilievna. Nay, he is as big a thief as you are. Do you think the +barin doesn’t know you? And there he is! He must have heard everything! + +Grigory. Where? + +Perfilievna. There--sitting by the window, and looking at us! + +Next, to complete the hubbub, a serf child which had been clouted by its +mother broke out into a bawl, while a borzoi puppy which had happened +to get splashed with boiling water by the cook fell to yelping +vociferously. In short, the place soon became a babel of shouts and +squeals, and, after watching and listening for a time, the barin found +it so impossible to concentrate his mind upon anything that he sent out +word that the noise would have to be abated. + +The next item was that, a couple of hours before luncheon time, he +withdrew to his study, to set about employing himself upon a weighty +work which was to consider Russia from every point of view: from the +political, from the philosophical, and from the religious, as well as to +resolve various problems which had arisen to confront the Empire, and to +define clearly the great future to which the country stood ordained. In +short, it was to be the species of compilation in which the man of the +day so much delights. Yet the colossal undertaking had progressed but +little beyond the sphere of projection, since, after a pen had been +gnawed awhile, and a few strokes had been committed to paper, the whole +would be laid aside in favour of the reading of some book; and that +reading would continue also during luncheon and be followed by the +lighting of a pipe, the playing of a solitary game of chess, and the +doing of more or less nothing for the rest of the day. + +The foregoing will give the reader a pretty clear idea of the manner in +which it was possible for this man of thirty-three to waste his time. +Clad constantly in slippers and a dressing-gown, Tientietnikov never +went out, never indulged in any form of dissipation, and never walked +upstairs. Nothing did he care for fresh air, and would bestow not a +passing glance upon all those beauties of the countryside which moved +visitors to such ecstatic admiration. From this the reader will see that +Andrei Ivanovitch Tientietnikov belonged to that band of sluggards whom +we always have with us, and who, whatever be their present appellation, +used to be known by the nicknames of “lollopers,” “bed pressers,” and +“marmots.” Whether the type is a type originating at birth, or a type +resulting from untoward circumstances in later life, it is impossible to +say. A better course than to attempt to answer that question would be to +recount the story of Tientietnikov’s boyhood and upbringing. + +Everything connected with the latter seemed to promise success, for at +twelve years of age the boy--keen-witted, but dreamy of temperament, and +inclined to delicacy--was sent to an educational establishment presided +over by an exceptional type of master. The idol of his pupils, and the +admiration of his assistants, Alexander Petrovitch was gifted with +an extraordinary measure of good sense. How thoroughly he knew the +peculiarities of the Russian of his day! How well he understood boys! +How capable he was of drawing them out! Not a practical joker in the +school but, after perpetrating a prank, would voluntarily approach his +preceptor and make to him free confession. True, the preceptor would +put a stern face upon the matter, yet the culprit would depart with head +held higher, not lower, than before, since in Alexander Petrovitch +there was something which heartened--something which seemed to say to a +delinquent: “Forward you! Rise to your feet again, even though you have +fallen!” Not lectures on good behaviour was it, therefore, that fell +from his lips, but rather the injunction, “I want to see intelligence, +and nothing else. The boy who devotes his attention to becoming clever +will never play the fool, for under such circumstances, folly disappears +of itself.” And so folly did, for the boy who failed to strive in the +desired direction incurred the contempt of all his comrades, and even +dunces and fools of senior standing did not dare to raise a finger when +saluted by their juniors with opprobrious epithets. Yet “This is too +much,” certain folk would say to Alexander. “The result will be that +your students will turn out prigs.” “But no,” he would reply. “Not at +all. You see, I make it my principle to keep the incapables for a single +term only, since that is enough for them; but to the clever ones I allot +a double course of instruction.” And, true enough, any lad of brains was +retained for this finishing course. Yet he did not repress all boyish +playfulness, since he declared it to be as necessary as a rash to a +doctor, inasmuch as it enabled him to diagnose what lay hidden within. + +Consequently, how the boys loved him! Never was there such an attachment +between master and pupils. And even later, during the foolish years, +when foolish things attract, the measure of affection which Alexander +Petrovitch retained was extraordinary. In fact, to the day of his death, +every former pupil would celebrate the birthday of his late master by +raising his glass in gratitude to the mentor dead and buried--then close +his eyelids upon the tears which would come trickling through them. +Even the slightest word of encouragement from Alexander Petrovitch could +throw a lad into a transport of tremulous joy, and arouse in him an +honourable emulation of his fellows. Boys of small capacity he did +not long retain in his establishment; whereas those who possessed +exceptional talent he put through an extra course of schooling. This +senior class--a class composed of specially-selected pupils--was a very +different affair from what usually obtains in other colleges. Only when +a boy had attained its ranks did Alexander demand of him what other +masters indiscreetly require of mere infants--namely the superior +frame of mind which, while never indulging in mockery, can itself bear +ridicule, and disregard the fool, and keep its temper, and repress +itself, and eschew revenge, and calmly, proudly retain its tranquillity +of soul. In short, whatever avails to form a boy into a man of assured +character, that did Alexander Petrovitch employ during the pupil’s +youth, as well as constantly put him to the test. How well he understood +the art of life! + +Of assistant tutors he kept but few, since most of the necessary +instruction he imparted in person, and, without pedantic terminology +and inflated diction and views, could so transmit to his listeners the +inmost spirit of a lesson that even the youngest present absorbed its +essential elements. Also, of studies he selected none but those which +may help a boy to become a good citizen; and therefore most of the +lectures which he delivered consisted of discourses on what may be +awaiting a youth, as well as of such demarcations of life’s field that +the pupil, though seated, as yet, only at the desk, could beforehand +bear his part in that field both in thought and spirit. Nor did the +master CONCEAL anything. That is to say, without mincing words, he +invariably set before his hearers the sorrows and the difficulties which +may confront a man, the trials and the temptations which may beset +him. And this he did in terms as though, in every possible calling and +capacity, he himself had experienced the same. Consequently, either the +vigorous development of self-respect or the constant stimulus of the +master’s eye (which seemed to say to the pupil, “Forward!”--that word +which has become so familiar to the contemporary Russian, that word +which has worked such wonders upon his sensitive temperament); one or +the other, I repeat, would from the first cause the pupil to tackle +difficulties, and only difficulties, and to hunger for prowess only +where the path was arduous, and obstacles were many, and it was +necessary to display the utmost strength of mind. Indeed, few completed +the course of which I have spoken without issuing therefrom reliable, +seasoned fighters who could keep their heads in the most embarrassing +of official positions, and at times when older and wiser men, distracted +with the annoyances of life, had either abandoned everything or, grown +slack and indifferent, had surrendered to the bribe-takers and the +rascals. In short, no ex-pupil of Alexander Petrovitch ever wavered from +the right road, but, familiar with life and with men, armed with the +weapons of prudence, exerted a powerful influence upon wrongdoers. + +For a long time past the ardent young Tientietnikov’s excitable heart +had also beat at the thought that one day he might attain the senior +class described. And, indeed, what better teacher could he have had +befall him than its preceptor? Yet just at the moment when he had been +transferred thereto, just at the moment when he had reached the coveted +position, did his instructor come suddenly by his death! This was +indeed a blow for the boy--indeed a terrible initial loss! In his eyes +everything connected with the school seemed to undergo a change--the +chief reason being the fact that to the place of the deceased headmaster +there succeeded a certain Thedor Ivanovitch, who at once began to +insist upon certain external rules, and to demand of the boys what ought +rightly to have been demanded only of adults. That is to say, since +the lads’ frank and open demeanour savoured to him only of lack +of discipline, he announced (as though in deliberate spite of his +predecessor) that he cared nothing for progress and intellect, but that +heed was to be paid only to good behaviour. Yet, curiously enough, good +behaviour was just what he never obtained, for every kind of secret +prank became the rule; and while, by day, there reigned restraint +and conspiracy, by night there began to take place chambering and +wantonness. + +Also, certain changes in the curriculum of studies came about, for there +were engaged new teachers who held new views and opinions, and confused +their hearers with a multitude of new terms and phrases, and displayed +in their exposition of things both logical sequence and a zest +for modern discovery and much warmth of individual bias. Yet their +instruction, alas! contained no LIFE--in the mouths of those teachers a +dead language savoured merely of carrion. Thus everything connected with +the school underwent a radical alteration, and respect for authority +and the authorities waned, and tutors and ushers came to be dubbed “Old +Thedor,” “Crusty,” and the like. And sundry other things began to take +place--things which necessitated many a penalty and expulsion; until, +within a couple of years, no one who had known the school in former days +would now have recognised it. + +Nevertheless Tientietnikov, a youth of retiring disposition, experienced +no leanings towards the nocturnal orgies of his companions, orgies +during which the latter used to flirt with damsels before the very +windows of the headmaster’s rooms, nor yet towards their mockery of +all that was sacred, simply because fate had cast in their way an +injudicious priest. No, despite its dreaminess, his soul ever remembered +its celestial origin, and could not be diverted from the path of virtue. +Yet still he hung his head, for, while his ambition had come to life, +it could find no sort of outlet. Truly ‘twere well if it had NOT come +to life, for throughout the time that he was listening to professors +who gesticulated on their chairs he could not help remembering the +old preceptor who, invariably cool and calm, had yet known how to make +himself understood. To what subjects, to what lectures, did the boy not +have to listen!--to lectures on medicine, and on philosophy, and on law, +and on a version of general history so enlarged that even three years +failed to enable the professor to do more than finish the introduction +thereto, and also the account of the development of some self-governing +towns in Germany. None of the stuff remained fixed in Tientietnikov’s +brain save as shapeless clots; for though his native intellect could not +tell him how instruction ought to be imparted, it at least told him that +THIS was not the way. And frequently, at such moments he would recall +Alexander Petrovitch, and give way to such grief that scarcely did he +know what he was doing. + +But youth is fortunate in the fact that always before it there lies a +future; and in proportion as the time for his leaving school drew nigh, +Tientietnikov’s heart began to beat higher and higher, and he said to +himself: “This is not life, but only a preparation for life. True life +is to be found in the Public Service. There at least will there be scope +for activity.” So, bestowing not a glance upon that beautiful corner of +the world which never failed to strike the guest or chance visitor with +amazement, and reverencing not a whit the dust of his ancestors, he +followed the example of most ambitious men of his class by repairing to +St. Petersburg (whither, as we know, the more spirited youth of Russia +from every quarter gravitates--there to enter the Public Service, to +shine, to obtain promotion, and, in a word, to scale the topmost peaks +of that pale, cold, deceptive elevation which is known as society). But +the real starting-point of Tientietnikov’s ambition was the moment when +his uncle (one State Councillor Onifri Ivanovitch) instilled into him +the maxim that the only means to success in the Service lay in good +handwriting, and that, without that accomplishment, no one could ever +hope to become a Minister or Statesman. Thus, with great difficulty, +and also with the help of his uncle’s influence, young Tientietnikov at +length succeeded in being posted to a Department. On the day that he +was conducted into a splendid, shining hall--a hall fitted with inlaid +floors and lacquered desks as fine as though this were actually the +place where the great ones of the Empire met for discussion of the +fortunes of the State; on the day that he saw legions of handsome +gentlemen of the quill-driving profession making loud scratchings with +pens, and cocking their heads to one side; lastly on the day that he +saw himself also allotted a desk, and requested to copy a document which +appeared purposely to be one of the pettiest possible order (as a matter +of fact it related to a sum of three roubles, and had taken half a +year to produce)--well, at that moment a curious, an unwonted sensation +seized upon the inexperienced youth, for the gentlemen around him +appeared so exactly like a lot of college students. And, the further to +complete the resemblance, some of them were engaged in reading trashy +translated novels, which they kept hurriedly thrusting between the +sheets of their apportioned work whenever the Director appeared, as +though to convey the impression that it was to that work alone that they +were applying themselves. In short, the scene seemed to Tientietnikov +strange, and his former pursuits more important than his present, and +his preparation for the Service preferable to the Service itself. Yes, +suddenly he felt a longing for his old school; and as suddenly, and with +all the vividness of life, there appeared before his vision the figure +of Alexander Petrovitch. He almost burst into tears as he beheld his old +master, and the room seemed to swim before his eyes, and the tchinovniks +and the desks to become a blur, and his sight to grow dim. Then he +thought to himself with an effort: “No, no! I WILL apply myself to +my work, however petty it be at first.” And hardening his heart and +recovering his spirit, he determined then and there to perform his +duties in such a manner as should be an example to the rest. + +But where are compensations to be found? Even in St. Petersburg, despite +its grim and murky exterior, they exist. Yes, even though thirty degrees +of keen, cracking frost may have bound the streets, and the family of +the North Wind be wailing there, and the Snowstorm Witch have heaped +high the pavements, and be blinding the eyes, and powdering beards and +fur collars and the shaggy manes of horses--even THEN there will be +shining hospitably through the swirling snowflakes a fourth-floor window +where, in a cosy room, and by the light of modest candles, and to the +hiss of the samovar, there will be in progress a discussion which warms +the heart and soul, or else a reading aloud of a brilliant page of one +of those inspired Russian poets with whom God has dowered us, while the +breast of each member of the company is heaving with a rapture unknown +under a noontide sky. + +Gradually, therefore, Tientietnikov grew more at home in the Service. +Yet never did it become, for him, the main pursuit, the main object +in life, which he had expected. No, it remained but one of a secondary +kind. That is to say, it served merely to divide up his time, and enable +him the more to value his hours of leisure. Nevertheless, just when his +uncle was beginning to flatter himself that his nephew was destined to +succeed in the profession, the said nephew elected to ruin his every +hope. Thus it befell. Tientietnikov’s friends (he had many) included +among their number a couple of fellows of the species known as +“embittered.” That is to say, though good-natured souls of that +curiously restless type which cannot endure injustice, nor anything +which it conceives to be such, they were thoroughly unbalanced of +conduct themselves, and, while demanding general agreement with +their views, treated those of others with the scantiest of ceremony. +Nevertheless these two associates exercised upon Tientietnikov--both +by the fire of their eloquence and by the form of their noble +dissatisfaction with society--a very strong influence; with the result +that, through arousing in him an innate tendency to nervous resentment, +they led him also to notice trifles which before had escaped his +attention. An instance of this is seen in the fact that he conceived +against Thedor Thedorovitch Lienitsin, Director of one of the +Departments which was quartered in the splendid range of offices before +mentioned, a dislike which proved the cause of his discerning in the +man a host of hitherto unmarked imperfections. Above all things did +Tientietnikov take it into his head that, when conversing with his +superiors, Lienitsin became, of the moment, a stick of luscious +sweetmeat, but that, when conversing with his inferiors, he approximated +more to a vinegar cruet. Certain it is that, like all petty-minded +individuals, Lienitsin made a note of any one who failed to offer him +a greeting on festival days, and that he revenged himself upon any one +whose visiting-card had not been handed to his butler. Eventually the +youth’s aversion almost attained the point of hysteria; until he felt +that, come what might, he MUST insult the fellow in some fashion. To +that task he applied himself con amore; and so thoroughly that he met +with complete success. That is to say, he seized on an occasion to +address Lienitsin in such fashion that the delinquent received +notice either to apologise or to leave the Service; and when of these +alternatives he chose the latter his uncle came to him, and made a +terrified appeal. “For God’s sake remember what you are doing!” he +cried. “To think that, after beginning your career so well, you should +abandon it merely for the reason that you have not fallen in with the +sort of Director whom you prefer! What do you mean by it, what do you +mean by it? Were others to regard things in the same way, the Service +would find itself without a single individual. Reconsider your +conduct--forego your pride and conceit, and make Lienitsin amends.” + +“But, dear Uncle,” the nephew replied, “that is not the point. The point +is, not that I should find an apology difficult to offer, seeing that, +since Lienitsin is my superior, and I ought not to have addressed him as +I did, I am clearly in the wrong. Rather, the point is the following. +To my charge there has been committed the performance of another kind of +service. That is to say, I am the owner of three hundred peasant souls, +a badly administered estate, and a fool of a bailiff. That being so, +whereas the State will lose little by having to fill my stool with +another copyist, it will lose very much by causing three hundred peasant +souls to fail in the payment of their taxes. As I say (how am I to put +it?), I am a landowner who has preferred to enter the Public Service. +Now, should I employ myself henceforth in conserving, restoring, and +improving the fortunes of the souls whom God has entrusted to my care, +and thereby provide the State with three hundred law-abiding, sober, +hard-working taxpayers, how will that service of mine rank as inferior +to the service of a department-directing fool like Lienitsin?” + +On hearing this speech, the State Councillor could only gape, for he +had not expected Tientietnikov’s torrent of words. He reflected a few +moments, and then murmured: + +“Yes, but, but--but how can a man like you retire to rustication in +the country? What society will you get there? Here one meets at least +a general or a prince sometimes; indeed, no matter whom you pass in the +street, that person represents gas lamps and European civilisation; but +in the country, no matter what part of it you are in, not a soul is +to be encountered save muzhiks and their women. Why should you go and +condemn yourself to a state of vegetation like that?” + +Nevertheless the uncle’s expostulations fell upon deaf ears, for already +the nephew was beginning to think of his estate as a retreat of a type +more likely to nourish the intellectual faculties and afford the only +profitable field of activity. After unearthing one or two modern works +on agriculture, therefore, he, two weeks later, found himself in +the neighbourhood of the home where his boyhood had been spent, and +approaching the spot which never failed to enthral the visitor or guest. +And in the young man’s breast there was beginning to palpitate a +new feeling--in the young man’s soul there were reawakening old, +long-concealed impressions; with the result that many a spot which had +long been faded from his memory now filled him with interest, and the +beautiful views on the estate found him gazing at them like a newcomer, +and with a beating heart. Yes, as the road wound through a narrow +ravine, and became engulfed in a forest where, both above and below, he +saw three-centuries-old oaks which three men could not have spanned, +and where Siberian firs and elms overtopped even the poplars, and as +he asked the peasants to tell him to whom the forest belonged, and +they replied, “To Tientietnikov,” and he issued from the forest, and +proceeded on his way through meadows, and past spinneys of elder, and +of old and young willows, and arrived in sight of the distant range of +hills, and, crossing by two different bridges the winding river (which +he left successively to right and to left of him as he did so), he again +questioned some peasants concerning the ownership of the meadows and +the flooded lands, and was again informed that they all belonged to +Tientietnikov, and then, ascending a rise, reached a tableland where, on +one side, lay ungarnered fields of wheat and rye and barley, and, on the +other, the country already traversed (but which now showed in shortened +perspective), and then plunged into the shade of some forked, umbrageous +trees which stood scattered over turf and extended to the manor-house +itself, and caught glimpses of the carved huts of the peasants, and of +the red roofs of the stone manorial outbuildings, and of the glittering +pinnacles of the church, and felt his heart beating, and knew, without +being told by any one, whither he had at length arrived--well, then the +feeling which had been growing within his soul burst forth, and he cried +in ecstasy: + +“Why have I been a fool so long? Why, seeing that fate has appointed +me to be ruler of an earthly paradise, did I prefer to bind myself in +servitude as a scribe of lifeless documents? To think that, after I had +been nurtured and schooled and stored with all the knowledge necessary +for the diffusion of good among those under me, and for the improvement +of my domain, and for the fulfilment of the manifold duties of a +landowner who is at once judge, administrator, and constable of his +people, I should have entrusted my estate to an ignorant bailiff, and +sought to maintain an absentee guardianship over the affairs of serfs +whom I have never met, and of whose capabilities and characters I am +yet ignorant! To think that I should have deemed true estate-management +inferior to a documentary, fantastical management of provinces which lie +a thousand versts away, and which my foot has never trod, and where I +could never have effected aught but blunders and irregularities!” + +Meanwhile another spectacle was being prepared for him. On learning +that the barin was approaching the mansion, the muzhiks collected on +the verandah in very variety of picturesque dress and tonsure; and when +these good folk surrounded him, and there arose a resounding shout of +“Here is our Foster Father! He has remembered us!” and, in spite of +themselves, some of the older men and women began weeping as they +recalled his grandfather and great-grandfather, he himself could not +restrain his tears, but reflected: “How much affection! And in return +for what? In return for my never having come to see them--in return for +my never having taken the least interest in their affairs!” And then +and there he registered a mental vow to share their every task and +occupation. + +So he applied himself to supervising and administering. He reduced the +amount of the barstchina [40], he decreased the number of working-days +for the owner, and he augmented the sum of the peasants’ leisure-time. +He also dismissed the fool of a bailiff, and took to bearing a +personal hand in everything--to being present in the fields, at the +threshing-floor, at the kilns, at the wharf, at the freighting of barges +and rafts, and at their conveyance down the river: wherefore even the +lazy hands began to look to themselves. But this did not last long. The +peasant is an observant individual, and Tientietnikov’s muzhiks soon +scented the fact that, though energetic and desirous of doing much, the +barin had no notion how to do it, nor even how to set about it--that, in +short, he spoke by the book rather than out of his personal knowledge. +Consequently things resulted, not in master and men failing to +understand one another, but in their not singing together, in their not +producing the very same note. + +That is to say, it was not long before Tientietnikov noticed that on +the manorial lands, nothing prospered to the extent that it did on the +peasants’. The manorial crops were sown in good time, and came up well, +and every one appeared to work his best, so much so that Tientietnikov, +who supervised the whole, frequently ordered mugs of vodka to be served +out as a reward for the excellence of the labour performed. Yet the rye +on the peasants’ land had formed into ear, and the oats had begun to +shoot their grain, and the millet had filled before, on the manorial +lands, the corn had so much as grown to stalk, or the ears had sprouted +in embryo. In short, gradually the barin realised that, in spite of +favours conferred, the peasants were playing the rogue with him. Next he +resorted to remonstrance, but was met with the reply, “How could we not +do our best for our barin? You yourself saw how well we laboured at the +ploughing and the sowing, for you gave us mugs of vodka for our pains.” + +“Then why have things turned out so badly?” the barin persisted. + +“Who can say? It must be that a grub has eaten the crop from below. +Besides, what a summer has it been--never a drop of rain!” + +Nevertheless, the barin noted that no grub had eaten the PEASANTS’ +crops, as well as that the rain had fallen in the most curious +fashion--namely, in patches. It had obliged the muzhiks, but had shed a +mere sprinkling for the barin. + +Still more difficult did he find it to deal with the peasant women. +Ever and anon they would beg to be excused from work, or start making +complaints of the severity of the barstchina. Indeed, they were terrible +folk! However, Tientietnikov abolished the majority of the tithes of +linen, hedge fruit, mushrooms, and nuts, and also reduced by one-half +other tasks proper to the women, in the hope that they would devote +their spare time to their own domestic concerns--namely, to sewing and +mending, and to making clothes for their husbands, and to increasing +the area of their kitchen gardens. Yet no such result came about. On the +contrary, such a pitch did the idleness, the quarrelsomeness, and the +intriguing and caballing of the fair sex attain that their helpmeets +were for ever coming to the barin with a request that he would rid one +or another of his wife, since she had become a nuisance, and to live +with her was impossible. + +Next, hardening his heart, the barin attempted severity. But of what +avail was severity? The peasant woman remained always the peasant +woman, and would come and whine that she was sick and ailing, and keep +pitifully hugging to herself the mean and filthy rags which she had +donned for the occasion. And when poor Tientietnikov found himself +unable to say more to her than just, “Get out of my sight, and may the +Lord go with you!” the next item in the comedy would be that he would +see her, even as she was leaving his gates, fall to contending with a +neighbour for, say, the possession of a turnip, and dealing out slaps +in the face such as even a strong, healthy man could scarcely have +compassed! + +Again, amongst other things, Tientietnikov conceived the idea of +establishing a school for his people; but the scheme resulted in a farce +which left him in sackcloth and ashes. In the same way he found that, +when it came to a question of dispensing justice and of adjusting +disputes, the host of juridical subtleties with which the professors had +provided him proved absolutely useless. That is to say, the one party +lied, and the other party lied, and only the devil could have decided +between them. Consequently he himself perceived that a knowledge of +mankind would have availed him more than all the legal refinements and +philosophical maxims in the world could do. He lacked something; and +though he could not divine what it was, the situation brought about was +the common one of the barin failing to understand the peasant, and the +peasant failing to understand the barin, and both becoming disaffected. +In the end, these difficulties so chilled Tientietnikov’s enthusiasm +that he took to supervising the labours of the field with greatly +diminished attention. That is to say, no matter whether the scythes were +softly swishing through the grass, or ricks were being built, or rafts +were being loaded, he would allow his eyes to wander from his men, and +to fall to gazing at, say, a red-billed, red-legged heron which, after +strutting along the bank of a stream, would have caught a fish in its +beak, and be holding it awhile, as though in doubt whether to swallow +it. Next he would glance towards the spot where a similar bird, but one +not yet in possession of a fish, was engaged in watching the doings of +its mate. Lastly, with eyebrows knitted, and face turned to scan the +zenith, he would drink in the smell of the fields, and fall to listening +to the winged population of the air as from earth and sky alike the +manifold music of winged creatures combined in a single harmonious +chorus. In the rye the quail would be calling, and, in the grass, the +corncrake, and over them would be wheeling flocks of twittering linnets. +Also, the jacksnipe would be uttering its croak, and the lark executing +its roulades where it had become lost in the sunshine, and cranes +sending forth their trumpet-like challenge as they deployed towards the +zenith in triangle-shaped flocks. In fact, the neighbourhood would seem +to have become converted into one great concert of melody. O Creator, +how fair is Thy world where, in remote, rural seclusion, it lies apart +from cities and from highways! + +But soon even this began to pall upon Tientietnikov, and he ceased +altogether to visit his fields, or to do aught but shut himself up +in his rooms, where he refused to receive even the bailiff when that +functionary called with his reports. Again, although, until now, he had +to a certain extent associated with a retired colonel of hussars--a man +saturated with tobacco smoke--and also with a student of pronounced, but +immature, opinions who culled the bulk of his wisdom from contemporary +newspapers and pamphlets, he found, as time went on, that these +companions proved as tedious as the rest, and came to think their +conversation superficial, and their European method of comporting +themselves--that is to say, the method of conversing with much slapping +of knees and a great deal of bowing and gesticulation--too direct and +unadorned. So these and every one else he decided to “drop,” and carried +this resolution into effect with a certain amount of rudeness. On the +next occasion that Varvar Nikolaievitch Vishnepokromov called to indulge +in a free-and-easy symposium on politics, philosophy, literature, +morals, and the state of financial affairs in England (he was, in all +matters which admit of superficial discussion, the pleasantest fellow +alive, seeing that he was a typical representative both of the retired +fire-eater and of the school of thought which is now becoming the +rage)--when, I say, this next happened, Tientietnikov merely sent out +to say that he was not at home, and then carefully showed himself at the +window. Host and guest exchanged glances, and, while the one muttered +through his teeth “The cur!” the other relieved his feelings with a +remark or two on swine. Thus the acquaintance came to an abrupt end, and +from that time forth no visitor called at the mansion. + +Tientietnikov in no way regretted this, for he could now devote himself +wholly to the projection of a great work on Russia. Of the scale on +which this composition was conceived the reader is already aware. The +reader also knows how strange, how unsystematic, was the system employed +in it. Yet to say that Tientietnikov never awoke from his lethargy +would not be altogether true. On the contrary, when the post brought him +newspapers and reviews, and he saw in their printed pages, perhaps, the +well-known name of some former comrade who had succeeded in the great +field of Public Service, or had conferred upon science and the +world’s work some notable contribution, he would succumb to secret and +suppressed grief, and involuntarily there would burst from his soul +an expression of aching, voiceless regret that he himself had done so +little. And at these times his existence would seem to him odious and +repellent; at these times there would uprise before him the memory of +his school days, and the figure of Alexander Petrovitch, as vivid as in +life. And, slowly welling, the tears would course over Tientietnikov’s +cheeks. + +What meant these repinings? Was there not disclosed in them the secret +of his galling spiritual pain--the fact that he had failed to order his +life aright, to confirm the lofty aims with which he had started his +course; the fact that, always poorly equipped with experience, he +had failed to attain the better and the higher state, and there to +strengthen himself for the overcoming of hindrances and obstacles; the +fact that, dissolving like overheated metal, his bounteous store of +superior instincts had failed to take the final tempering; the fact that +the tutor of his boyhood, a man in a thousand, had prematurely died, and +left to Tientietnikov no one who could restore to him the moral +strength shattered by vacillation and the will power weakened by want +of virility--no one, in short, who could cry hearteningly to his soul +“Forward!”--the word for which the Russian of every degree, of every +class, of every occupation, of every school of thought, is for ever +hungering. + +Indeed, WHERE is the man who can cry aloud for any of us, in the Russian +tongue dear to our soul, the all-compelling command “Forward!”? Who is +there who, knowing the strength and the nature and the inmost depths of +the Russian genius, can by a single magic incantation divert our ideals +to the higher life? Were there such a man, with what tears, with what +affection, would not the grateful sons of Russia repay him! Yet age +succeeds to age, and our callow youth still lies wrapped in shameful +sloth, or strives and struggles to no purpose. God has not yet given us +the man able to sound the call. + +One circumstance which almost aroused Tientietnikov, which almost +brought about a revolution in his character, was the fact that he came +very near to falling in love. Yet even this resulted in nothing. Ten +versts away there lived the general whom we have heard expressing +himself in highly uncomplimentary terms concerning Tientietnikov. He +maintained a General-like establishment, dispensed hospitality (that +is to say, was glad when his neighbours came to pay him their respects, +though he himself never went out), spoke always in a hoarse voice, read +a certain number of books, and had a daughter--a curious, unfamiliar +type, but full of life as life itself. This maiden’s name was Ulinka, +and she had been strangely brought up, for, losing her mother in early +childhood, she had subsequently received instruction at the hands of an +English governess who knew not a single word of Russian. Moreover her +father, though excessively fond of her, treated her always as a toy; +with the result that, as she grew to years of discretion, she became +wholly wayward and spoilt. Indeed, had any one seen the sudden rage +which would gather on her beautiful young forehead when she was engaged +in a heated dispute with her father, he would have thought her one of +the most capricious beings in the world. Yet that rage gathered only +when she had heard of injustice or harsh treatment, and never because +she desired to argue on her own behalf, or to attempt to justify her own +conduct. Also, that anger would disappear as soon as ever she saw any +one whom she had formerly disliked fall upon evil times, and, at his +first request for alms would, without consideration or subsequent +regret, hand him her purse and its whole contents. Yes, her every act +was strenuous, and when she spoke her whole personality seemed to be +following hot-foot upon her thought--both her expression of face and her +diction and the movements of her hands. Nay, the very folds of her frock +had a similar appearance of striving; until one would have thought +that all her self were flying in pursuit of her words. Nor did she know +reticence: before any one she would disclose her mind, and no force +could compel her to maintain silence when she desired to speak. Also, +her enchanting, peculiar gait--a gait which belonged to her alone--was +so absolutely free and unfettered that every one involuntarily gave her +way. Lastly, in her presence churls seemed to become confused and fall +to silence, and even the roughest and most outspoken would lose their +heads, and have not a word to say; whereas the shy man would find +himself able to converse as never in his life before, and would feel, +from the first, as though he had seen her and known her at some previous +period--during the days of some unremembered childhood, when he was at +home, and spending a merry evening among a crowd of romping children. +And for long afterwards he would feel as though his man’s intellect and +estate were a burden. + +This was what now befell Tientietnikov; and as it did so a new feeling +entered into his soul, and his dreamy life lightened for a moment. + +At first the General used to receive him with hospitable civility, but +permanent concord between them proved impossible; their conversation +always merged into dissension and soreness, seeing that, while the +General could not bear to be contradicted or worsted in an argument, +Tientietnikov was a man of extreme sensitiveness. True, for the +daughter’s sake, the father was for a while deferred to, and thus peace +was maintained; but this lasted only until the time when there arrived, +on a visit to the General, two kinswomen of his--the Countess Bordirev +and the Princess Uziakin, retired Court dames, but ladies who still +kept up a certain connection with Court circles, and therefore were much +fawned upon by their host. No sooner had they appeared on the scene than +(so it seemed to Tientietnikov) the General’s attitude towards the young +man became colder--either he ceased to notice him at all or he spoke to +him familiarly, and as to a person having no standing in society. This +offended Tientietnikov deeply, and though, when at length he spoke out +on the subject, he retained sufficient presence of mind to compress his +lips, and to preserve a gentle and courteous tone, his face flushed and +his inner man was boiling. + +“General,” he said, “I thank you for your condescension. By addressing +me in the second person singular, you have admitted me to the circle +of your most intimate friends. Indeed, were it not that a difference of +years forbids any familiarity on my part, I should answer you in similar +fashion.” + +The General sat aghast. At length, rallying his tongue and his +faculties, he replied that, though he had spoken with a lack of +ceremony, he had used the term “thou” merely as an elderly man naturally +employs it towards a junior (he made no reference to difference of +rank). + +Nevertheless, the acquaintance broke off here, and with it any +possibility of love-making. The light which had shed a momentary gleam +before Tientietnikov’s eyes had become extinguished for ever, and upon +it there followed a darkness denser than before. Henceforth everything +conduced to evolve the regime which the reader has noted--that regime +of sloth and inaction which converted Tientietnikov’s residence into a +place of dirt and neglect. For days at a time would a broom and a heap +of dust be left lying in the middle of a room, and trousers tossing +about the salon, and pairs of worn-out braces adorning the what-not near +the sofa. In short, so mean and untidy did Tientietnikov’s mode of life +become, that not only his servants, but even his very poultry ceased to +treat him with respect. Taking up a pen, he would spend hours in idly +sketching houses, huts, waggons, troikas, and flourishes on a piece of +paper; while at other times, when he had sunk into a reverie, the pen +would, all unknowingly, sketch a small head which had delicate features, +a pair of quick, penetrating eyes, and a raised coiffure. Then suddenly +the dreamer would perceive, to his surprise, that the pen had executed +the portrait of a maiden whose picture no artist could adequately have +painted; and therewith his despondency would become greater than ever, +and, believing that happiness did not exist on earth, he would relapse +into increased ennui, increased neglect of his responsibilities. + +But one morning he noticed, on moving to the window after breakfast, +that not a word was proceeding either from the butler or the +housekeeper, but that, on the contrary, the courtyard seemed to smack of +a certain bustle and excitement. This was because through the entrance +gates (which the kitchen maid and the scullion had run to open) there +were appearing the noses of three horses--one to the right, one in the +middle, and one to the left, after the fashion of triumphal groups of +statuary. Above them, on the box seat, were seated a coachman and a +valet, while behind, again, there could be discerned a gentleman in a +scarf and a fur cap. Only when the equipage had entered the courtyard +did it stand revealed as a light spring britchka. And as it came to a +halt, there leapt on to the verandah of the mansion an individual +of respectable exterior, and possessed of the art of moving with the +neatness and alertness of a military man. + +Upon this Tientietnikov’s heart stood still. He was unused to receiving +visitors, and for the moment conceived the new arrival to be a +Government official, sent to question him concerning an abortive society +to which he had formerly belonged. (Here the author may interpolate the +fact that, in Tientietnikov’s early days, the young man had become mixed +up in a very absurd affair. That is to say, a couple of philosophers +belonging to a regiment of hussars had, together with an aesthete +who had not yet completed his student’s course and a gambler who had +squandered his all, formed a secret society of philanthropic aims under +the presidency of a certain old rascal of a freemason and the ruined +gambler aforesaid. The scope of the society’s work was to be extensive: +it was to bring lasting happiness to humanity at large, from the banks +of the Thames to the shores of Kamtchatka. But for this much money was +needed: wherefore from the noble-minded members of the society generous +contributions were demanded, and then forwarded to a destination known +only to the supreme authorities of the concern. As for Tientietnikov’s +adhesion, it was brought about by the two friends already alluded to as +“embittered”--good-hearted souls whom the wear and tear of their efforts +on behalf of science, civilisation, and the future emancipation of +mankind had ended by converting into confirmed drunkards. Perhaps it +need hardly be said that Tientietnikov soon discovered how things stood, +and withdrew from the association; but, meanwhile, the latter had had +the misfortune so to have engaged in dealings not wholly creditable +to gentlemen of noble origin as likewise to have become entangled in +dealings with the police. Consequently, it is not to be wondered at +that, though Tientietnikov had long severed his connection with the +society and its policy, he still remained uneasy in his mind as to what +might even yet be the result.) + +However, his fears vanished the instant that the guest saluted him with +marked politeness and explained, with many deferential poises of the +head, and in terms at once civil and concise, that for some time past +he (the newcomer) had been touring the Russian Empire on business and +in the pursuit of knowledge, that the Empire abounded in objects +of interest--not to mention a plenitude of manufactures and a great +diversity of soil, and that, in spite of the fact that he was greatly +struck with the amenities of his host’s domain, he would certainly +not have presumed to intrude at such an inconvenient hour but for the +circumstance that the inclement spring weather, added to the state of +the roads, had necessitated sundry repairs to his carriage at the hands +of wheelwrights and blacksmiths. Finally he declared that, even if this +last had NOT happened, he would still have felt unable to deny himself +the pleasure of offering to his host that meed of homage which was the +latter’s due. + +This speech--a speech of fascinating bonhomie--delivered, the guest +executed a sort of shuffle with a half-boot of patent leather studded +with buttons of mother-of-pearl, and followed that up by (in spite of +his pronounced rotundity of figure) stepping backwards with all the elan +of an india-rubber ball. + +From this the somewhat reassured Tientietnikov concluded that his +visitor must be a literary, knowledge-seeking professor who was engaged +in roaming the country in search of botanical specimens and fossils; +wherefore he hastened to express both his readiness to further the +visitor’s objects (whatever they might be) and his personal willingness +to provide him with the requisite wheelwrights and blacksmiths. +Meanwhile he begged his guest to consider himself at home, and, +after seating him in an armchair, made preparations to listen to the +newcomer’s discourse on natural history. + +But the newcomer applied himself, rather, to phenomena of the internal +world, saying that his life might be likened to a barque tossed on the +crests of perfidious billows, that in his time he had been fated to play +many parts, and that on more than one occasion his life had stood +in danger at the hands of foes. At the same time, these tidings were +communicated in a manner calculated to show that the speaker was also +a man of PRACTICAL capabilities. In conclusion, the visitor took out a +cambric pocket-handkerchief, and sneezed into it with a vehemence wholly +new to Tientietnikov’s experience. In fact, the sneeze rather resembled +the note which, at times, the trombone of an orchestra appears to utter +not so much from its proper place on the platform as from the immediate +neighbourhood of the listener’s ear. And as the echoes of the drowsy +mansion resounded to the report of the explosion there followed upon the +same a wave of perfume, skilfully wafted abroad with a flourish of the +eau-de-Cologne-scented handkerchief. + +By this time the reader will have guessed that the visitor was none +other than our old and respected friend Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov. +Naturally, time had not spared him his share of anxieties and alarms; +wherefore his exterior had come to look a trifle more elderly, his +frockcoat had taken on a suggestion of shabbiness, and britchka, +coachman, valet, horses, and harness alike had about them a sort of +second-hand, worse-for-wear effect. Evidently the Chichikovian finances +were not in the most flourishing of conditions. Nevertheless, the old +expression of face, the old air of breeding and refinement, remained +unimpaired, and our hero had even improved in the art of walking and +turning with grace, and of dexterously crossing one leg over the +other when taking a seat. Also, his mildness of diction, his discreet +moderation of word and phrase, survived in, if anything, increased +measure, and he bore himself with a skill which caused his tactfulness +to surpass itself in sureness of aplomb. And all these accomplishments +had their effect further heightened by a snowy immaculateness of collar +and dickey, and an absence of dust from his frockcoat, as complete as +though he had just arrived to attend a nameday festival. Lastly, his +cheeks and chin were of such neat clean-shavenness that no one but a +blind man could have failed to admire their rounded contours. + +From that moment onwards great changes took place in Tientietnikov’s +establishment, and certain of its rooms assumed an unwonted air of +cleanliness and order. The rooms in question were those assigned to +Chichikov, while one other apartment--a little front chamber opening +into the hall--became permeated with Petrushka’s own peculiar smell. +But this lasted only for a little while, for presently Petrushka was +transferred to the servants’ quarters, a course which ought to have been +adopted in the first instance. + +During the initial days of Chichikov’s sojourn, Tientietnikov feared +rather to lose his independence, inasmuch as he thought that his +guest might hamper his movements, and bring about alterations in the +established routine of the place. But these fears proved groundless, for +Paul Ivanovitch displayed an extraordinary aptitude for accommodating +himself to his new position. To begin with, he encouraged his host +in his philosophical inertia by saying that the latter would help +Tientietnikov to become a centenarian. Next, in the matter of a life of +isolation, he hit things off exactly by remarking that such a life +bred in a man a capacity for high thinking. Lastly, as he inspected the +library and dilated on books in general, he contrived an opportunity to +observe that literature safeguarded a man from a tendency to waste his +time. In short, the few words of which he delivered himself were brief, +but invariably to the point. And this discretion of speech was outdone +by his discretion of conduct. That is to say, whether entering +or leaving the room, he never wearied his host with a question if +Tientietnikov had the air of being disinclined to talk; and with equal +satisfaction the guest could either play chess or hold his tongue. +Consequently Tientietnikov said to himself: + +“For the first time in my life I have met with a man with whom it is +possible to live. In general, not many of the type exist in Russia, and, +though clever, good-humoured, well-educated men abound, one would be +hard put to it to find an individual of equable temperament with whom +one could share a roof for centuries without a quarrel arising. Anyway, +Chichikov is the first of his sort that I have met.” + +For his part, Chichikov was only too delighted to reside with a +person so quiet and agreeable as his host. Of a wandering life he was +temporarily weary, and to rest, even for a month, in such a beautiful +spot, and in sight of green fields and the slow flowering of spring, was +likely to benefit him also from the hygienic point of view. And, indeed, +a more delightful retreat in which to recuperate could not possibly have +been found. The spring, long retarded by previous cold, had now begun +in all its comeliness, and life was rampant. Already, over the first +emerald of the grass, the dandelion was showing yellow, and the red-pink +anemone was hanging its tender head; while the surface of every pond +was a swarm of dancing gnats and midges, and the water-spider was being +joined in their pursuit by birds which gathered from every quarter to +the vantage-ground of the dry reeds. Every species of creature also +seemed to be assembling in concourse, and taking stock of one another. +Suddenly the earth became populous, the forest had opened its eyes, and +the meadows were lifting up their voice in song. In the same way had +choral dances begun to be weaved in the village, and everywhere that the +eye turned there was merriment. What brightness in the green of nature, +what freshness in the air, what singing of birds in the gardens of the +mansion, what general joy and rapture and exaltation! Particularly in +the village might the shouting and singing have been in honour of a +wedding! + +Chichikov walked hither, thither, and everywhere--a pursuit for which +there was ample choice and facility. At one time he would direct his +steps along the edge of the flat tableland, and contemplate the depths +below, where still there lay sheets of water left by the floods of +winter, and where the island-like patches of forest showed leafless +boughs; while at another time he would plunge into the thicket and +ravine country, where nests of birds weighted branches almost to the +ground, and the sky was darkened with the criss-cross flight of cawing +rooks. Again, the drier portions of the meadows could be crossed to the +river wharves, whence the first barges were just beginning to set forth +with pea-meal and barley and wheat, while at the same time one’s ear +would be caught with the sound of some mill resuming its functions as +once more the water turned the wheel. Chichikov would also walk afield +to watch the early tillage operations of the season, and observe how +the blackness of a new furrow would make its way across the expanse of +green, and how the sower, rhythmically striking his hand against the +pannier slung across his breast, would scatter his fistfuls of seed with +equal distribution, apportioning not a grain too much to one side or to +the other. + +In fact, Chichikov went everywhere. He chatted and talked, now with the +bailiff, now with a peasant, now with a miller, and inquired into the +manner and nature of everything, and sought information as to how an +estate was managed, and at what price corn was selling, and what species +of grain was best for spring and autumn grinding, and what was the name +of each peasant, and who were his kinsfolk, and where he had bought his +cow, and what he fed his pigs on. Chichikov also made inquiry concerning +the number of peasants who had lately died: but of these there appeared +to be few. And suddenly his quick eye discerned that Tientietnikov’s +estate was not being worked as it might have been--that much neglect and +listlessness and pilfering and drunkenness was abroad; and on perceiving +this, he thought to himself: “What a fool is that Tientietnikov! To +think of letting a property like this decay when he might be drawing +from it an income of fifty thousand roubles a year!” + +Also, more than once, while taking these walks, our hero pondered the +idea of himself becoming a landowner--not now, of course, but later, +when his chief aim should have been achieved, and he had got into his +hands the necessary means for living the quiet life of the proprietor +of an estate. Yes, and at these times there would include itself in his +castle-building the figure of a young, fresh, fair-faced maiden of the +mercantile or other rich grade of society, a woman who could both play +and sing. He also dreamed of little descendants who should perpetuate +the name of Chichikov; perhaps a frolicsome little boy and a fair young +daughter, or possibly, two boys and quite two or three daughters; so +that all should know that he had really lived and had his being, that he +had not merely roamed the world like a spectre or a shadow; so that for +him and his the country should never be put to shame. And from that he +would go on to fancy that a title appended to his rank would not be +a bad thing--the title of State Councillor, for instance, which was +deserving of all honour and respect. Ah, it is a common thing for a +man who is taking a solitary walk so to detach himself from the irksome +realities of the present that he is able to stir and to excite and to +provoke his imagination to the conception of things he knows can never +really come to pass! + +Chichikov’s servants also found the mansion to their taste, and, like +their master, speedily made themselves at home in it. In particular did +Petrushka make friends with Grigory the butler, although at first the +pair showed a tendency to outbrag one another--Petrushka beginning +by throwing dust in Grigory’s eyes on the score of his (Petrushka’s) +travels, and Grigory taking him down a peg or two by referring to St. +Petersburg (a city which Petrushka had never visited), and Petrushka +seeking to recover lost ground by dilating on towns which he HAD +visited, and Grigory capping this by naming some town which is not to be +found on any map in existence, and then estimating the journey +thither as at least thirty thousand versts--a statement which would so +completely flabbergast the henchman of Chichikov’s suite that he would +be left staring open-mouthed, amid the general laughter of the domestic +staff. However, as I say, the pair ended by swearing eternal friendship +with one another, and making a practice of resorting to the village +tavern in company. + +For Selifan, however, the place had a charm of a different kind. That is +to say, each evening there would take place in the village a singing of +songs and a weaving of country dances; and so shapely and buxom were the +maidens--maidens of a type hard to find in our present-day villages on +large estates--that he would stand for hours wondering which of them was +the best. White-necked and white-bosomed, all had great roving eyes, the +gait of peacocks, and hair reaching to the waist. And as, with his hands +clasping theirs, he glided hither and thither in the dance, or retired +backwards towards a wall with a row of other young fellows, and then, +with them, returned to meet the damsels--all singing in chorus (and +laughing as they sang it), “Boyars, show me my bridegroom!” and dusk was +falling gently, and from the other side of the river there kept coming +far, faint, plaintive echoes of the melody--well, then our Selifan +hardly knew whether he were standing upon his head or his heels. Later, +when sleeping and when waking, both at noon and at twilight, he would +seem still to be holding a pair of white hands, and moving in the dance. + +Chichikov’s horses also found nothing of which to disapprove. Yes, +both the bay, the Assessor, and the skewbald accounted residence at +Tientietnikov’s a most comfortable affair, and voted the oats excellent, +and the arrangement of the stables beyond all cavil. True, on this +occasion each horse had a stall to himself; yet, by looking over the +intervening partition, it was possible always to see one’s fellows, and, +should a neighbour take it into his head to utter a neigh, to answer it +at once. + +As for the errand which had hitherto led Chichikov to travel about +Russia, he had now decided to move very cautiously and secretly in the +matter. In fact, on noticing that Tientietnikov went in absorbedly for +reading and for talking philosophy, the visitor said to himself, “No--I +had better begin at the other end,” and proceeded first to feel his way +among the servants of the establishment. From them he learnt several +things, and, in particular, that the barin had been wont to go and +call upon a certain General in the neighbourhood, and that the General +possessed a daughter, and that she and Tientietnikov had had an affair +of some sort, but that the pair had subsequently parted, and gone +their several ways. For that matter, Chichikov himself had noticed +that Tientietnikov was in the habit of drawing heads of which each +representation exactly resembled the rest. + +Once, as he sat tapping his silver snuff-box after luncheon, Chichikov +remarked: + +“One thing you lack, and only one, Andrei Ivanovitch.” + +“What is that?” asked his host. + +“A female friend or two,” replied Chichikov. + +Tientietnikov made no rejoinder, and the conversation came temporarily +to an end. + +But Chichikov was not to be discouraged; wherefore, while waiting for +supper and talking on different subjects, he seized an opportunity to +interject: + +“Do you know, it would do you no harm to marry.” + +As before, Tientietnikov did not reply, and the renewed mention of the +subject seemed to have annoyed him. + +For the third time--it was after supper--Chichikov returned to the +charge by remarking: + +“To-day, as I was walking round your property, I could not help thinking +that marriage would do you a great deal of good. Otherwise you will +develop into a hypochondriac.” + +Whether Chichikov’s words now voiced sufficiently the note of +persuasion, or whether Tientietnikov happened, at the moment, to be +unusually disposed to frankness, at all events the young landowner +sighed, and then responded as he expelled a puff of tobacco smoke: + +“To attain anything, Paul Ivanovitch, one needs to have been born under +a lucky star.” + +And he related to his guest the whole history of his acquaintanceship +and subsequent rupture with the General. + +As Chichikov listened to the recital, and gradually realised that the +affair had arisen merely out of a chance word on the General’s part, he +was astounded beyond measure, and gazed at Tientietnikov without knowing +what to make of him. + +“Andrei Ivanovitch,” he said at length, “what was there to take offence +at?” + +“Nothing, as regards the actual words spoken,” replied the other. “The +offence lay, rather, in the insult conveyed in the General’s tone.” + Tientietnikov was a kindly and peaceable man, yet his eyes flashed as he +said this, and his voice vibrated with wounded feeling. + +“Yet, even then, need you have taken it so much amiss?” + +“What? Could I have gone on visiting him as before?” + +“Certainly. No great harm had been done?” + +“I disagree with you. Had he been an old man in a humble station of +life, instead of a proud and swaggering officer, I should not have +minded so much. But, as it was, I could not, and would not, brook his +words.” + +“A curious fellow, this Tientietnikov!” thought Chichikov to himself. + +“A curious fellow, this Chichikov!” was Tientietnikov’s inward +reflection. + +“I tell you what,” resumed Chichikov. “To-morrow I myself will go and +see the General.” + +“To what purpose?” asked Tientietnikov, with astonishment and distrust +in his eyes. + +“To offer him an assurance of my personal respect.” + +“A strange fellow, this Chichikov!” reflected Tientietnikov. + +“A strange fellow, this Tientietnikov!” thought Chichikov, and then +added aloud: “Yes, I will go and see him at ten o’clock to-morrow; but +since my britchka is not yet altogether in travelling order, would you +be so good as to lend me your koliaska for the purpose?” + + + +CHAPTER II + +Tientietnikov’s good horses covered the ten versts to the General’s +house in a little over half an hour. Descending from the koliaska with +features attuned to deference, Chichikov inquired for the master of the +house, and was at once ushered into his presence. Bowing with head +held respectfully on one side and hands extended like those of a waiter +carrying a trayful of teacups, the visitor inclined his whole body +forward, and said: + +“I have deemed it my duty to present myself to your Excellency. I have +deemed it my duty because in my heart I cherish a most profound respect +for the valiant men who, on the field of battle, have proved the +saviours of their country.” + +That this preliminary attack did not wholly displease the General was +proved by the fact that, responding with a gracious inclination of the +head, he replied: + +“I am glad to make your acquaintance. Pray be so good as to take a seat. +In what capacity or capacities have you yourself seen service?” + +“Of my service,” said Chichikov, depositing his form, not exactly in the +centre of the chair, but rather on one side of it, and resting a hand +upon one of its arms, “--of my service the scene was laid, in the first +instance, in the Treasury; while its further course bore me successively +into the employ of the Public Buildings Commission, of the Customs +Board, and of other Government Offices. But, throughout, my life has +resembled a barque tossed on the crests of perfidious billows. In +suffering I have been swathed and wrapped until I have come to be, as +it were, suffering personified; while of the extent to which my life +has been sought by foes, no words, no colouring, no (if I may so express +it?) painter’s brush could ever convey to you an adequate idea. And now, +at length, in my declining years, I am seeking a corner in which to eke +out the remainder of my miserable existence, while at the present moment +I am enjoying the hospitality of a neighbour of your acquaintance.” + +“And who is that?” + +“Your neighbour Tientietnikov, your Excellency.” + +Upon that the General frowned. + +“Led me add,” put in Chichikov hastily, “that he greatly regrets that +on a former occasion he should have failed to show a proper respect +for--for--” + +“For what?” asked the General. + +“For the services to the public which your Excellency has rendered. +Indeed, he cannot find words to express his sorrow, but keeps repeating +to himself: ‘Would that I had valued at their true worth the men who +have saved our fatherland!’” + +“And why should he say that?” asked the mollified General. “I bear him +no grudge. In fact, I have never cherished aught but a sincere liking +for him, a sincere esteem, and do not doubt but that, in time, he may +become a useful member of society.” + +“In the words which you have been good enough to utter,” said Chichikov +with a bow, “there is embodied much justice. Yes, Tientietnikov is +in very truth a man of worth. Not only does he possess the gift of +eloquence, but also he is a master of the pen.” + +“Ah, yes; he DOES write rubbish of some sort, doesn’t he? Verses, or +something of the kind?” + +“Not rubbish, your Excellency, but practical stuff. In short, he is +inditing a history.” + +“A HISTORY? But a history of what?” + +“A history of, of--” For a moment or two Chichikov hesitated. Then, +whether because it was a General that was seated in front of him, or +because he desired to impart greater importance to the subject which +he was about to invent, he concluded: “A history of Generals, your +Excellency.” + +“Of Generals? Of WHAT Generals?” + +“Of Generals generally--of Generals at large. That is to say, and to be +more precise, a history of the Generals of our fatherland.” + +By this time Chichikov was floundering badly. Mentally he spat upon +himself and reflected: “Gracious heavens! What rubbish I am talking!” + +“Pardon me,” went on his interlocutor, “but I do not quite understand +you. Is Tientietnikov producing a history of a given period, or only a +history made up of a series of biographies? Also, is he including ALL +our Generals, or only those who took part in the campaign of 1812?” + +“The latter, your Excellency--only the Generals of 1812,” replied +Chichikov. Then he added beneath his breath: “Were I to be killed for +it, I could not say what that may be supposed to mean.” + +“Then why should he not come and see me in person?” went on his +host. “Possibly I might be able to furnish him with much interesting +material?” + +“He is afraid to come, your Excellency.” + +“Nonsense! Just because of a hasty word or two! I am not that sort of +man at all. In fact, I should be very happy to call upon HIM.” + +“Never would he permit that, your Excellency. He would greatly prefer to +be the first to make advances.” And Chichikov added to himself: “What a +stroke of luck those Generals were! Otherwise, the Lord knows where my +tongue might have landed me!” + +At this moment the door into the adjoining room opened, and there +appeared in the doorway a girl as fair as a ray of the sun--so fair, +indeed, that Chichikov stared at her in amazement. Apparently she had +come to speak to her father for a moment, but had stopped short on +perceiving that there was some one with him. The only fault to be +found in her appearance was the fact that she was too thin and +fragile-looking. + +“May I introduce you to my little pet?” said the General to Chichikov. +“To tell you the truth, I do not know your name.” + +“That you should be unacquainted with the name of one who has never +distinguished himself in the manner of which you yourself can boast is +scarcely to be wondered at.” And Chichikov executed one of his sidelong, +deferential bows. + +“Well, I should be delighted to know it.” + +“It is Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov, your Excellency.” With that went +the easy bow of a military man and the agile backward movement of an +india-rubber ball. + +“Ulinka, this is Paul Ivanovitch,” said the General, turning to his +daughter. “He has just told me some interesting news--namely, that +our neighbour Tientietnikov is not altogether the fool we had at first +thought him. On the contrary, he is engaged upon a very important +work--upon a history of the Russian Generals of 1812.” + +“But who ever supposed him to be a fool?” asked the girl quickly. “What +happened was that you took Vishnepokromov’s word--the word of a man who +is himself both a fool and a good-for-nothing.” + +“Well, well,” said the father after further good-natured dispute on the +subject of Vishnepokromov. “Do you now run away, for I wish to dress for +luncheon. And you, sir,” he added to Chichikov, “will you not join us at +table?” + +Chichikov bowed so low and so long that, by the time that his eyes had +ceased to see nothing but his own boots, the General’s daughter had +disappeared, and in her place was standing a bewhiskered butler, armed +with a silver soap-dish and a hand-basin. + +“Do you mind if I wash in your presence?” asked the host. + +“By no means,” replied Chichikov. “Pray do whatsoever you please in that +respect.” + +Upon that the General fell to scrubbing himself--incidentally, to +sending soapsuds flying in every direction. Meanwhile he seemed so +favourably disposed that Chichikov decided to sound him then and there, +more especially since the butler had left the room. + +“May I put to you a problem?” he asked. + +“Certainly,” replied the General. “What is it?” + +“It is this, your Excellency. I have a decrepit old uncle who owns three +hundred souls and two thousand roubles-worth of other property. Also, +except for myself, he possesses not a single heir. Now, although his +infirm state of health will not permit of his managing his property in +person, he will not allow me either to manage it. And the reason for his +conduct--his very strange conduct--he states as follows: ‘I do not know +my nephew, and very likely he is a spendthrift. If he wishes to show me +that he is good for anything, let him go and acquire as many souls as +_I_ have acquired; and when he has done that I will transfer to him my +three hundred souls as well.” + +“The man must be an absolute fool,” commented the General. + +“Possibly. And were that all, things would not be as bad as they are. +But, unfortunately, my uncle has gone and taken up with his housekeeper, +and has had children by her. Consequently, everything will now pass to +THEM.” + +“The old man must have taken leave of his senses,” remarked the General. +“Yet how _I_ can help you I fail to see.” + +“Well, I have thought of a plan. If you will hand me over all the dead +souls on your estate--hand them over to me exactly as though they were +still alive, and were purchasable property--I will offer them to the old +man, and then he will leave me his fortune.” + +At this point the General burst into a roar of laughter such as few can +ever have heard. Half-dressed, he subsided into a chair, threw back his +head, and guffawed until he came near to choking. In fact, the house +shook with his merriment, so much so that the butler and his daughter +came running into the room in alarm. + +It was long before he could produce a single articulate word; and +even when he did so (to reassure his daughter and the butler) he kept +momentarily relapsing into spluttering chuckles which made the house +ring and ring again. + +Chichikov was greatly taken aback. + +“Oh, that uncle!” bellowed the General in paroxysms of mirth. “Oh, that +blessed uncle! WHAT a fool he’ll look! Ha, ha, ha! Dead souls offered +him instead of live ones! Oh, my goodness!” + +“I suppose I’ve put my foot in it again,” ruefully reflected Chichikov. +“But, good Lord, what a man the fellow is to laugh! Heaven send that he +doesn’t burst of it!” + +“Ha, ha, ha!” broke out the General afresh. “WHAT a donkey the old man +must be! To think of his saying to you: ‘You go and fit yourself out +with three hundred souls, and I’ll cap them with my own lot’! My word! +What a jackass!” + +“A jackass, your Excellency?” + +“Yes, indeed! And to think of the jest of putting him off with dead +souls! Ha, ha, ha! WHAT wouldn’t I give to see you handing him the title +deeds? Who is he? What is he like? Is he very old?” + +“He is eighty, your Excellency.” + +“But still brisk and able to move about, eh? Surely he must be pretty +strong to go on living with his housekeeper like that?” + +“Yes. But what does such strength mean? Sand runs away, your +Excellency.” + +“The old fool! But is he really such a fool?” + +“Yes, your Excellency.” + +“And does he go out at all? Does he see company? Can he still hold +himself upright?” + +“Yes, but with great difficulty.” + +“And has he any teeth left?” + +“No more than two at the most.” + +“The old jackass! Don’t be angry with me, but I must say that, though +your uncle, he is also a jackass.” + +“Quite so, your Excellency. And though it grieves ME to have to confess +that he is my uncle, what am I to do with him?” + +Yet this was not altogether the truth. What would have been a far harder +thing for Chichikov to have confessed was the fact that he possessed no +uncles at all. + +“I beg of you, your Excellency,” he went on, “to hand me over those, +those--” + +“Those dead souls, eh? Why, in return for the jest I will give you some +land as well. Yes, you can take the whole graveyard if you like. Ha, ha, +ha! The old man! Ha, ha, ha! WHAT a fool he’ll look! Ha, ha, ha!” + +And once more the General’s guffaws went ringing through the house. + + + [At this point there is a long hiatus in the original.] + + + +CHAPTER III + +“If Colonel Koshkarev should turn out to be as mad as the last one it +is a bad look-out,” said Chichikov to himself on opening his eyes amid +fields and open country--everything else having disappeared save the +vault of heaven and a couple of low-lying clouds. + +“Selifan,” he went on, “did you ask how to get to Colonel Koshkarev’s?” + +“Yes, Paul Ivanovitch. At least, there was such a clatter around the +koliaska that I could not; but Petrushka asked the coachman.” + +“You fool! How often have I told you not to rely on Petrushka? Petrushka +is a blockhead, an idiot. Besides, at the present moment I believe him +to be drunk.” + +“No, you are wrong, barin,” put in the person referred to, turning his +head with a sidelong glance. “After we get down the next hill we shall +need but to keep bending round it. That is all.” + +“Yes, and I suppose you’ll tell me that sivnkha is the only thing that +has passed your lips? Well, the view at least is beautiful. In fact, +when one has seen this place one may say that one has seen one of +the beauty spots of Europe.” This said, Chichikov added to himself, +smoothing his chin: “What a difference between the features of a +civilised man of the world and those of a common lacquey!” + +Meanwhile the koliaska quickened its pace, and Chichikov once more +caught sight of Tientietnikov’s aspen-studded meadows. Undulating gently +on elastic springs, the vehicle cautiously descended the steep incline, +and then proceeded past water-mills, rumbled over a bridge or two, and +jolted easily along the rough-set road which traversed the flats. Not a +molehill, not a mound jarred the spine. The vehicle was comfort itself. + +Swiftly there flew by clumps of osiers, slender elder trees, and +silver-leaved poplars, their branches brushing against Selifan and +Petrushka, and at intervals depriving the valet of his cap. Each time +that this happened, the sullen-faced servitor fell to cursing both the +tree responsible for the occurrence and the landowner responsible for +the tree being in existence; yet nothing would induce him thereafter +either to tie on the cap or to steady it with his hand, so complete was +his assurance that the accident would never be repeated. Soon to the +foregoing trees there became added an occasional birch or spruce fir, +while in the dense undergrowth around their roots could be seen the blue +iris and the yellow wood-tulip. Gradually the forest grew darker, as +though eventually the obscurity would become complete. Then through +the trunks and the boughs there began to gleam points of light like +glittering mirrors, and as the number of trees lessened, these points +grew larger, until the travellers debouched upon the shore of a lake +four versts or so in circumference, and having on its further margin +the grey, scattered log huts of a peasant village. In the water a great +commotion was in progress. In the first place, some twenty men, immersed +to the knee, to the breast, or to the neck, were dragging a large +fishing-net inshore, while, in the second place, there was entangled in +the same, in addition to some fish, a stout man shaped precisely like a +melon or a hogshead. Greatly excited, he was shouting at the top of his +voice: “Let Kosma manage it, you lout of a Denis! Kosma, take the end +of the rope from Denis! Don’t bear so hard on it, Thoma Bolshoy [41]! Go +where Thoma Menshov [42] is! Damn it, bring the net to land, will you!” + From this it became clear that it was not on his own account that the +stout man was worrying. Indeed, he had no need to do so, since his fat +would in any case have prevented him from sinking. Yes, even if he +had turned head over heels in an effort to dive, the water would +persistently have borne him up; and the same if, say, a couple of men +had jumped on his back--the only result would have been that he would +have become a trifle deeper submerged, and forced to draw breath by +spouting bubbles through his nose. No, the cause of his agitation was +lest the net should break, and the fish escape: wherefore he was urging +some additional peasants who were standing on the bank to lay hold of +and to pull at, an extra rope or two. + +“That must be the barin--Colonel Koshkarev,” said Selifan. + +“Why?” asked Chichikov. + +“Because, if you please, his skin is whiter than the rest, and he has +the respectable paunch of a gentleman.” + +Meanwhile good progress was being made with the hauling in of the barin; +until, feeling the ground with his feet, he rose to an upright position, +and at the same moment caught sight of the koliaska, with Chichikov +seated therein, descending the declivity. + +“Have you dined yet?” shouted the barin as, still entangled in the net, +he approached the shore with a huge fish on his back. With one hand +shading his eyes from the sun, and the other thrown backwards, he +looked, in point of pose, like the Medici Venus emerging from her bath. + +“No,” replied Chichikov, raising his cap, and executing a series of +bows. + +“Then thank God for that,” rejoined the gentleman. + +“Why?” asked Chichikov with no little curiosity, and still holding his +cap over his head. + +“Because of THIS. Cast off the net, Thoma Menshov, and pick up that +sturgeon for the gentleman to see. Go and help him, Telepen Kuzma.” + +With that the peasants indicated picked up by the head what was a +veritable monster of a fish. + +“Isn’t it a beauty--a sturgeon fresh run from the river?” exclaimed the +stout barin. “And now let us be off home. Coachman, you can take the +lower road through the kitchen garden. Run, you lout of a Thoma Bolshoy, +and open the gate for him. He will guide you to the house, and I myself +shall be along presently.” + +Thereupon the barelegged Thoma Bolshoy, clad in nothing but a shirt, +ran ahead of the koliaska through the village, every hut of which had +hanging in front of it a variety of nets, for the reason that every +inhabitant of the place was a fisherman. Next, he opened a gate into a +large vegetable enclosure, and thence the koliaska emerged into a square +near a wooden church, with, showing beyond the latter, the roofs of the +manorial homestead. + +“A queer fellow, that Koshkarev!” said Chichikov to himself. + +“Well, whatever I may be, at least I’m here,” said a voice by his side. +Chichikov looked round, and perceived that, in the meanwhile, the barin +had dressed himself and overtaken the carriage. With a pair of yellow +trousers he was wearing a grass-green jacket, and his neck was as +guiltless of a collar as Cupid’s. Also, as he sat sideways in his +drozhki, his bulk was such that he completely filled the vehicle. +Chichikov was about to make some remark or another when the stout +gentleman disappeared; and presently his drozhki re-emerged into view at +the spot where the fish had been drawn to land, and his voice could be +heard reiterating exhortations to his serfs. Yet when Chichikov reached +the verandah of the house he found, to his intense surprise, the stout +gentleman waiting to welcome the visitor. How he had contrived to +convey himself thither passed Chichikov’s comprehension. Host and guest +embraced three times, according to a bygone custom of Russia. Evidently +the barin was one of the old school. + +“I bring you,” said Chichikov, “a greeting from his Excellency.” + +“From whom?” + +“From your relative General Alexander Dmitrievitch.” + +“Who is Alexander Dmitrievitch?” + +“What? You do not know General Alexander Dmitrievitch Betrishev?” + exclaimed Chichikov with a touch of surprise. + +“No, I do not,” replied the gentleman. + +Chichikov’s surprise grew to absolute astonishment. + +“How comes that about?” he ejaculated. “I hope that I have the honour of +addressing Colonel Koshkarev?” + +“Your hopes are vain. It is to my house, not to his, that you have come; +and I am Peter Petrovitch Pietukh--yes, Peter Petrovitch Pietukh.” + +Chichikov, dumbfounded, turned to Selifan and Petrushka. + +“What do you mean?” he exclaimed. “I told you to drive to the house +of Colonel Koshkarev, whereas you have brought me to that of Peter +Petrovitch Pietukh.” + +“All the same, your fellows have done quite right,” put in the gentleman +referred to. “Do you” (this to Selifan and Petrushka) “go to the +kitchen, where they will give you a glassful of vodka apiece. Then put +up the horses, and be off to the servants’ quarters.” + +“I regret the mistake extremely,” said Chichikov. + +“But it is not a mistake. When you have tried the dinner which I have in +store for you, just see whether you think IT a mistake. Enter, I beg of +you.” And, taking Chichikov by the arm, the host conducted him within, +where they were met by a couple of youths. + +“Let me introduce my two sons, home for their holidays from the +Gymnasium [43],” said Pietukh. “Nikolasha, come and entertain our +good visitor, while you, Aleksasha, follow me.” And with that the host +disappeared. + +Chichikov turned to Nikolasha, whom he found to be a budding man about +town, since at first he opened a conversation by stating that, as no +good was to be derived from studying at a provincial institution, he and +his brother desired to remove, rather, to St. Petersburg, the provinces +not being worth living in. + +“I quite understand,” Chichikov thought to himself. “The end of the +chapter will be confectioners’ assistants and the boulevards.” + +“Tell me,” he added aloud, “how does your father’s property at present +stand?” + +“It is all mortgaged,” put in the father himself as he re-entered the +room. “Yes, it is all mortgaged, every bit of it.” + +“What a pity!” thought Chichikov. “At this rate it will not be long +before this man has no property at all left. I must hurry my departure.” + Aloud he said with an air of sympathy: “That you have mortgaged the +estate seems to me a matter of regret.” + +“No, not at all,” replied Pietukh. “In fact, they tell me that it is a +good thing to do, and that every one else is doing it. Why should I act +differently from my neighbours? Moreover, I have had enough of living +here, and should like to try Moscow--more especially since my sons are +always begging me to give them a metropolitan education.” + +“Oh, the fool, the fool!” reflected Chichikov. “He is for throwing +up everything and making spendthrifts of his sons. Yet this is a nice +property, and it is clear that the local peasants are doing well, and +that the family, too, is comfortably off. On the other hand, as soon as +ever these lads begin their education in restaurants and theatres, the +devil will away with every stick of their substance. For my own part, I +could desire nothing better than this quiet life in the country.” + +“Let me guess what is in your mind,” said Pietukh. + +“What, then?” asked Chichikov, rather taken aback. + +“You are thinking to yourself: ‘That fool of a Pietukh has asked me to +dinner, yet not a bite of dinner do I see.’ But wait a little. It will +be ready presently, for it is being cooked as fast as a maiden who has +had her hair cut off plaits herself a new set of tresses.” + +“Here comes Platon Mikhalitch, father!” exclaimed Aleksasha, who had +been peeping out of the window. + +“Yes, and on a grey horse,” added his brother. + +“Who is Platon Mikhalitch?” inquired Chichikov. + +“A neighbour of ours, and an excellent fellow.” + +The next moment Platon Mikhalitch himself entered the room, accompanied +by a sporting dog named Yarb. He was a tall, handsome man, with +extremely red hair. As for his companion, it was of the keen-muzzled +species used for shooting. + +“Have you dined yet?” asked the host. + +“Yes,” replied Platon. + +“Indeed? What do you mean by coming here to laugh at us all? Do I ever +go to YOUR place after dinner?” + +The newcomer smiled. “Well, if it can bring you any comfort,” he said, +“let me tell you that I ate nothing at the meal, for I had no appetite.” + +“But you should see what I have caught--what sort of a sturgeon fate has +brought my way! Yes, and what crucians and carp!” + +“Really it tires one to hear you. How come you always to be so +cheerful?” + +“And how come YOU always to be so gloomy?” retorted the host. + +“How, you ask? Simply because I am so.” + +“The truth is you don’t eat enough. Try the plan of making a good +dinner. Weariness of everything is a modern invention. Once upon a time +one never heard of it.” + +“Well, boast away, but have you yourself never been tired of things?” + +“Never in my life. I do not so much as know whether I should find time +to be tired. In the morning, when one awakes, the cook is waiting, and +the dinner has to be ordered. Then one drinks one’s morning tea, and +then the bailiff arrives for HIS orders, and then there is fishing to be +done, and then one’s dinner has to be eaten. Next, before one has even +had a chance to utter a snore, there enters once again the cook, and one +has to order supper; and when she has departed, behold, back she comes +with a request for the following day’s dinner! What time does THAT leave +one to be weary of things?” + +Throughout this conversation, Chichikov had been taking stock of +the newcomer, who astonished him with his good looks, his upright, +picturesque figure, his appearance of fresh, unwasted youthfulness, +and the boyish purity, innocence, and clarity of his features. Neither +passion nor care nor aught of the nature of agitation or anxiety of mind +had ventured to touch his unsullied face, or to lay a single wrinkle +thereon. Yet the touch of life which those emotions might have imparted +was wanting. The face was, as it were, dreaming, even though from time +to time an ironical smile disturbed it. + +“I, too, cannot understand,” remarked Chichikov, “how a man of your +appearance can find things wearisome. Of course, if a man is hard +pressed for money, or if he has enemies who are lying in wait for his +life (as have certain folk of whom I know), well, then--” + +“Believe me when I say,” interrupted the handsome guest, “that, for the +sake of a diversion, I should be glad of ANY sort of an anxiety. Would +that some enemy would conceive a grudge against me! But no one does so. +Everything remains eternally dull.” + +“But perhaps you lack a sufficiency of land or souls?” + +“Not at all. I and my brother own ten thousand desiatins [44] of land, +and over a thousand souls.” + +“Curious! I do not understand it. But perhaps the harvest has failed, +or you have sickness about, and many of your male peasants have died of +it?” + +“On the contrary, everything is in splendid order, for my brother is the +best of managers.” + +“Then to find things wearisome!” exclaimed Chichikov. “It passes my +comprehension.” And he shrugged his shoulders. + +“Well, we will soon put weariness to flight,” interrupted the host. +“Aleksasha, do you run helter-skelter to the kitchen, and there tell +the cook to serve the fish pasties. Yes, and where have that gawk of an +Emelian and that thief of an Antoshka got to? Why have they not handed +round the zakuski?” + +At this moment the door opened, and the “gawk” and the “thief” in +question made their appearance with napkins and a tray--the latter +bearing six decanters of variously-coloured beverages. These they placed +upon the table, and then ringed them about with glasses and platefuls +of every conceivable kind of appetiser. That done, the servants applied +themselves to bringing in various comestibles under covers, through +which could be heard the hissing of hot roast viands. In particular +did the “gawk” and the “thief” work hard at their tasks. As a matter +of fact, their appellations had been given them merely to spur them to +greater activity, for, in general, the barin was no lover of abuse, but, +rather, a kind-hearted man who, like most Russians, could not get on +without a sharp word or two. That is to say, he needed them for his +tongue as he need a glass of vodka for his digestion. What else could +you expect? It was his nature to care for nothing mild. + +To the zakuski succeeded the meal itself, and the host became a perfect +glutton on his guests’ behalf. Should he notice that a guest had taken +but a single piece of a comestible, he added thereto another one, +saying: “Without a mate, neither man nor bird can live in this world.” + Should any one take two pieces, he added thereto a third, saying: “What +is the good of the number 2? God loves a trinity.” Should any one +take three pieces, he would say: “Where do you see a waggon with three +wheels? Who builds a three-cornered hut?” Lastly, should any one take +four pieces, he would cap them with a fifth, and add thereto the punning +quip, “Na piat opiat [45]”. After devouring at least twelve steaks +of sturgeon, Chichikov ventured to think to himself, “My host cannot +possibly add to THEM,” but found that he was mistaken, for, without a +word, Pietukh heaped upon his plate an enormous portion of spit-roasted +veal, and also some kidneys. And what veal it was! + +“That calf was fed two years on milk,” he explained. “I cared for it +like my own son.” + +“Nevertheless I can eat no more,” said Chichikov. + +“Do you try the veal before you say that you can eat no more.” + +“But I could not get it down my throat. There is no room left.” + +“If there be no room in a church for a newcomer, the beadle is sent for, +and room is very soon made--yes, even though before there was such a +crush that an apple couldn’t have been dropped between the people. Do +you try the veal, I say. That piece is the titbit of all.” + +So Chichikov made the attempt; and in very truth the veal was beyond all +praise, and room was found for it, even though one would have supposed +the feat impossible. + +“Fancy this good fellow removing to St. Petersburg or Moscow!” said the +guest to himself. “Why, with a scale of living like this, he would be +ruined in three years.” For that matter, Pietukh might well have been +ruined already, for hospitality can dissipate a fortune in three months +as easily as it can in three years. + +The host also dispensed the wine with a lavish hand, and what the guests +did not drink he gave to his sons, who thus swallowed glass after glass. +Indeed, even before coming to table, it was possible to discern to what +department of human accomplishment their bent was turned. When the meal +was over, however, the guests had no mind for further drinking. Indeed, +it was all that they could do to drag themselves on to the balcony, +and there to relapse into easy chairs. Indeed, the moment that the host +subsided into his seat--it was large enough for four--he fell asleep, +and his portly presence, converting itself into a sort of blacksmith’s +bellows, started to vent, through open mouth and distended nostrils, +such sounds as can have greeted the reader’s ear but seldom--sounds as +of a drum being beaten in combination with the whistling of a flute and +the strident howling of a dog. + +“Listen to him!” said Platon. + +Chichikov smiled. + +“Naturally, on such dinners as that,” continued the other, “our host +does NOT find the time dull. And as soon as dinner is ended there can +ensue sleep.” + +“Yes, but, pardon me, I still fail to understand why you should find +life wearisome. There are so many resources against ennui!” + +“As for instance?” + +“For a young man, dancing, the playing of one or another musical +instrument, and--well, yes, marriage.” + +“Marriage to whom?” + +“To some maiden who is both charming and rich. Are there none in these +parts?” + +“No.” + +“Then, were I you, I should travel, and seek a maiden elsewhere.” And a +brilliant idea therewith entered Chichikov’s head. “This last resource,” + he added, “is the best of all resources against ennui.” + +“What resource are you speaking of?” + +“Of travel.” + +“But whither?” + +“Well, should it so please you, you might join me as my companion.” This +said, the speaker added to himself as he eyed Platon: “Yes, that would +suit me exactly, for then I should have half my expenses paid, and could +charge him also with the cost of mending the koliaska.” + +“And whither should we go?” + +“In that respect I am not wholly my own master, as I have business to do +for others as well as for myself. For instance, General Betristchev--an +intimate friend and, I might add, a generous benefactor of mine--has +charged me with commissions to certain of his relatives. However, though +relatives are relatives, I am travelling likewise on my own account, +since I wish to see the world and the whirligig of humanity--which, in +spite of what people may say, is as good as a living book or a second +education.” As a matter of fact, Chichikov was reflecting, “Yes, the +plan is an excellent one. I might even contrive that he should have to +bear the whole of our expenses, and that his horses should be used while +my own should be put out to graze on his farm.” + +“Well, why should I not adopt the suggestion?” was Platon’s thought. +“There is nothing for me to do at home, since the management of the +estate is in my brother’s hands, and my going would cause him no +inconvenience. Yes, why should I not do as Chichikov has suggested?” + +Then he added aloud: + +“Would you come and stay with my brother for a couple of days? Otherwise +he might refuse me his consent.” + +“With great pleasure,” said Chichikov. “Or even for three days.” + +“Then here is my hand on it. Let us be off at once.” Platon seemed +suddenly to have come to life again. + +“Where are you off to?” put in their host unexpectedly as he roused +himself and stared in astonishment at the pair. “No, no, my good sirs. I +have had the wheels removed from your koliaska, Monsieur Chichikov, and +have sent your horse, Platon Mikhalitch, to a grazing ground fifteen +versts away. Consequently you must spend the night here, and depart +to-morrow morning after breakfast.” + +What could be done with a man like Pietukh? There was no help for it but +to remain. In return, the guests were rewarded with a beautiful spring +evening, for, to spend the time, the host organised a boating expedition +on the river, and a dozen rowers, with a dozen pairs of oars, conveyed +the party (to the accompaniment of song) across the smooth surface of +the lake and up a great river with towering banks. From time to time the +boat would pass under ropes, stretched across for purposes of fishing, +and at each turn of the rippling current new vistas unfolded themselves +as tier upon tier of woodland delighted the eye with a diversity of +timber and foliage. In unison did the rowers ply their sculls, yet it +was though of itself that the skiff shot forward, bird-like, over the +glassy surface of the water; while at intervals the broad-shouldered +young oarsman who was seated third from the bow would raise, as from +a nightingale’s throat, the opening staves of a boat song, and then be +joined by five or six more, until the melody had come to pour forth in a +volume as free and boundless as Russia herself. And Pietukh, too, would +give himself a shake, and help lustily to support the chorus; and even +Chichikov felt acutely conscious of the fact that he was a Russian. Only +Platon reflected: “What is there so splendid in these melancholy songs? +They do but increase one’s depression of spirits.” + +The journey homeward was made in the gathering dusk. Rhythmically the +oars smote a surface which no longer reflected the sky, and darkness had +fallen when they reached the shore, along which lights were twinkling +where the fisherfolk were boiling live eels for soup. Everything had now +wended its way homeward for the night; the cattle and poultry had +been housed, and the herdsmen, standing at the gates of the village +cattle-pens, amid the trailing dust lately raised by their charges, +were awaiting the milk-pails and a summons to partake of the eel-broth. +Through the dusk came the hum of humankind, and the barking of dogs in +other and more distant villages; while, over all, the moon was rising, +and the darkened countryside was beginning to glimmer to light again +under her beams. What a glorious picture! Yet no one thought of admiring +it. Instead of galloping over the countryside on frisky cobs, +Nikolasha and Aleksasha were engaged in dreaming of Moscow, with its +confectioners’ shops and the theatres of which a cadet, newly arrived on +a visit from the capital, had just been telling them; while their father +had his mind full of how best to stuff his guests with yet more food, +and Platon was given up to yawning. Only in Chichikov was a spice of +animation visible. “Yes,” he reflected, “some day I, too, will become +lord of such a country place.” And before his mind’s eye there arose +also a helpmeet and some little Chichikovs. + +By the time that supper was finished the party had again over-eaten +themselves, and when Chichikov entered the room allotted him for the +night, he lay down upon the bed, and prodded his stomach. “It is as +tight as a drum,” he said to himself. “Not another titbit of veal could +now get into it.” Also, circumstances had so brought it about that +next door to him there was situated his host’s apartment; and since the +intervening wall was thin, Chichikov could hear every word that was +said there. At the present moment the master of the house was engaged in +giving the cook orders for what, under the guise of an early breakfast, +promised to constitute a veritable dinner. You should have heard +Pietukh’s behests! They would have excited the appetite of a corpse. + +“Yes,” he said, sucking his lips, and drawing a deep breath, “in the +first place, make a pasty in four divisions. Into one of the divisions +put the sturgeon’s cheeks and some viaziga [46], and into another +division some buckwheat porridge, young mushrooms and onions, +sweet milk, calves’ brains, and anything else that you may find +suitable--anything else that you may have got handy. Also, bake the +pastry to a nice brown on one side, and but lightly on the other. Yes, +and, as to the under side, bake it so that it will be all juicy and +flaky, so that it shall not crumble into bits, but melt in the mouth +like the softest snow that ever you heard of.” And as he said this +Pietukh fairly smacked his lips. + +“The devil take him!” muttered Chichikov, thrusting his head beneath the +bedclothes to avoid hearing more. “The fellow won’t give one a chance to +sleep.” + +Nevertheless he heard through the blankets: + +“And garnish the sturgeon with beetroot, smelts, peppered mushrooms, +young radishes, carrots, beans, and anything else you like, so as to +have plenty of trimmings. Yes, and put a lump of ice into the pig’s +bladder, so as to swell it up.” + +Many other dishes did Pietukh order, and nothing was to be heard but +his talk of boiling, roasting, and stewing. Finally, just as mention was +being made of a turkey cock, Chichikov fell asleep. + +Next morning the guest’s state of repletion had reached the point +of Platon being unable to mount his horse; wherefore the latter was +dispatched homeward with one of Pietukh’s grooms, and the two guests +entered Chichikov’s koliaska. Even the dog trotted lazily in the rear; +for he, too, had over-eaten himself. + +“It has been rather too much of a good thing,” remarked Chichikov as the +vehicle issued from the courtyard. + +“Yes, and it vexes me to see the fellow never tire of it,” replied +Platon. + +“Ah,” thought Chichikov to himself, “if _I_ had an income of seventy +thousand roubles, as you have, I’d very soon give tiredness one in +the eye! Take Murazov, the tax-farmer--he, again, must be worth ten +millions. What a fortune!” + +“Do you mind where we drive?” asked Platon. “I should like first to go +and take leave of my sister and my brother-in-law.” + +“With pleasure,” said Chichikov. + +“My brother-in-law is the leading landowner hereabouts. At the present +moment he is drawing an income of two hundred thousand roubles from a +property which, eight years ago, was producing a bare twenty thousand.” + +“Truly a man worthy of the utmost respect! I shall be most interested to +make his acquaintance. To think of it! And what may his family name be?” + +“Kostanzhoglo.” + +“And his Christian name and patronymic?” + +“Constantine Thedorovitch.” + +“Constantine Thedorovitch Kostanzhoglo. Yes, it will be a most +interesting event to make his acquaintance. To know such a man must be a +whole education.” + +Here Platon set himself to give Selifan some directions as to the way, +a necessary proceeding in view of the fact that Selifan could hardly +maintain his seat on the box. Twice Petrushka, too, had fallen headlong, +and this necessitated being tied to his perch with a piece of rope. +“What a clown!” had been Chichikov’s only comment. + +“This is where my brother-in-law’s land begins,” said Platon. + +“They give one a change of view.” + +And, indeed, from this point the countryside became planted with timber; +the rows of trees running as straight as pistol-shots, and having beyond +them, and on higher ground, a second expanse of forest, newly planted +like the first; while beyond it, again, loomed a third plantation of +older trees. Next there succeeded a flat piece of the same nature. + +“All this timber,” said Platon, “has grown up within eight or ten years +at the most; whereas on another man’s land it would have taken twenty to +attain the same growth.” + +“And how has your brother-in-law effected this?” + +“You must ask him yourself. He is so excellent a husbandman that nothing +ever fails with him. You see, he knows the soil, and also knows what +ought to be planted beside what, and what kinds of timber are the best +neighbourhood for grain. Again, everything on his estate is made to +perform at least three or four different functions. For instance, he +makes his timber not only serve as timber, but also serve as a provider +of moisture and shade to a given stretch of land, and then as a +fertiliser with its fallen leaves. Consequently, when everywhere else +there is drought, he still has water, and when everywhere else there +has been a failure of the harvest, on his lands it will have proved a +success. But it is a pity that I know so little about it all as to be +unable to explain to you his many expedients. Folk call him a wizard, +for he produces so much. Nevertheless, personally I find what he does +uninteresting.” + +“Truly an astonishing fellow!” reflected Chichikov with a glance at his +companion. “It is sad indeed to see a man so superficial as to be unable +to explain matters of this kind.” + +At length the manor appeared in sight--an establishment looking almost +like a town, so numerous were the huts where they stood arranged in +three tiers, crowned with three churches, and surrounded with huge ricks +and barns. “Yes,” thought Chichikov to himself, “one can see what a +jewel of a landowner lives here.” The huts in question were stoutly +built and the intervening alleys well laid-out; while, wherever a waggon +was visible, it looked serviceable and more or less new. Also, the local +peasants bore an intelligent look on their faces, the cattle were of the +best possible breed, and even the peasants’ pigs belonged to the porcine +aristocracy. Clearly there dwelt here peasants who, to quote the +song, were accustomed to “pick up silver by the shovelful.” Nor were +Englishified gardens and parterres and other conceits in evidence, but, +on the contrary, there ran an open view from the manor house to the +farm buildings and the workmen’s cots, so that, after the old Russian +fashion, the barin should be able to keep an eye upon all that was going +on around him. For the same purpose, the mansion was topped with a tall +lantern and a superstructure--a device designed, not for ornament, +nor for a vantage-spot for the contemplation of the view, but for +supervision of the labourers engaged in distant fields. Lastly, the +brisk, active servants who received the visitors on the verandah were +very different menials from the drunken Petrushka, even though they did +not wear swallow-tailed coats, but only Cossack tchekmenu [47] of blue +homespun cloth. + +The lady of the house also issued on to the verandah. With her face of +the freshness of “blood and milk” and the brightness of God’s daylight, +she as nearly resembled Platon as one pea resembles another, save that, +whereas he was languid, she was cheerful and full of talk. + +“Good day, brother!” she cried. “How glad I am to see you! Constantine +is not at home, but will be back presently.” + +“Where is he?” + +“Doing business in the village with a party of factors,” replied the +lady as she conducted her guests to the drawing-room. + +With no little curiosity did Chichikov gaze at the interior of the +mansion inhabited by the man who received an annual income of two +hundred thousand roubles; for he thought to discern therefrom the nature +of its proprietor, even as from a shell one may deduce the species of +oyster or snail which has been its tenant, and has left therein its +impression. But no such conclusions were to be drawn. The rooms were +simple, and even bare. Not a fresco nor a picture nor a bronze nor a +flower nor a china what-not nor a book was there to be seen. In short, +everything appeared to show that the proprietor of this abode spent the +greater part of his time, not between four walls, but in the field, and +that he thought out his plans, not in sybaritic fashion by the fireside, +nor in an easy chair beside the stove, but on the spot where work was +actually in progress--that, in a word, where those plans were conceived, +there they were put into execution. Nor in these rooms could Chichikov +detect the least trace of a feminine hand, beyond the fact that +certain tables and chairs bore drying-boards whereon were arranged some +sprinklings of flower petals. + +“What is all this rubbish for?” asked Platon. + +“It is not rubbish,” replied the lady of the house. “On the contrary, it +is the best possible remedy for fever. Last year we cured every one of +our sick peasants with it. Some of the petals I am going to make into an +ointment, and some into an infusion. You may laugh as much as you like +at my potting and preserving, yet you yourself will be glad of things of +the kind when you set out on your travels.” + +Platon moved to the piano, and began to pick out a note or two. + +“Good Lord, what an ancient instrument!” he exclaimed. “Are you not +ashamed of it, sister?” + +“Well, the truth is that I get no time to practice my music. You see,” + she added to Chichikov, “I have an eight-year-old daughter to educate; +and to hand her over to a foreign governess in order that I may have +leisure for my own piano-playing--well, that is a thing which I could +never bring myself to do.” + +“You have become a wearisome sort of person,” commented Platon, and +walked away to the window. “Ah, here comes Constantine,” presently he +added. + +Chichikov also glanced out of the window, and saw approaching the +verandah a brisk, swarthy-complexioned man of about forty, a man clad in +a rough cloth jacket and a velveteen cap. Evidently he was one of those +who care little for the niceties of dress. With him, bareheaded, there +came a couple of men of a somewhat lower station in life, and all +three were engaged in an animated discussion. One of the barin’s two +companions was a plain peasant, and the other (clad in a blue Siberian +smock) a travelling factor. The fact that the party halted awhile by +the entrance steps made it possible to overhear a portion of their +conversation from within. + +“This is what you peasants had better do,” the barin was saying. +“Purchase your release from your present master. I will lend you the +necessary money, and afterwards you can work for me.” + +“No, Constantine Thedorovitch,” replied the peasant. “Why should we do +that? Remove us just as we are. You will know how to arrange it, for a +cleverer gentleman than you is nowhere to be found. The misfortune of us +muzhiks is that we cannot protect ourselves properly. The tavern-keepers +sell us such liquor that, before a man knows where he is, a glassful of +it has eaten a hole through his stomach, and made him feel as though +he could drink a pail of water. Yes, it knocks a man over before he can +look around. Everywhere temptation lies in wait for the peasant, and he +needs to be cunning if he is to get through the world at all. In fact, +things seem to be contrived for nothing but to make us peasants lose +our wits, even to the tobacco which they sell us. What are folk like +ourselves to do, Constantine Thedorovitch? I tell you it is terribly +difficult for a muzhik to look after himself.” + +“Listen to me. This is how things are done here. When I take on a serf, +I fit him out with a cow and a horse. On the other hand, I demand of him +thereafter more than is demanded of a peasant anywhere else. That is to +say, first and foremost I make him work. Whether a peasant be working +for himself or for me, never do I let him waste time. I myself toil like +a bullock, and I force my peasants to do the same, for experience +has taught me that that is the only way to get through life. All the +mischief in the world comes through lack of employment. Now, do you go +and consider the matter, and talk it over with your mir [48].” + +“We have done that already, Constantine Thedorovitch, and our elders’ +opinion is: ‘There is no need for further talk. Every peasant belonging +to Constantine Thedorovitch is well off, and hasn’t to work for nothing. +The priests of his village, too, are men of good heart, whereas ours +have been taken away, and there is no one to bury us.’” + +“Nevertheless, do you go and talk the matter over again.” + +“We will, barin.” + +Here the factor who had been walking on the barin’s other side put in a +word. + +“Constantine Thedorovitch,” he said, “I beg of you to do as I have +requested.” + +“I have told you before,” replied the barin, “that I do not care to play +the huckster. I am not one of those landowners whom fellows of your sort +visit on the very day that the interest on a mortgage is due. Ah, I know +your fraternity thoroughly, and know that you keep lists of all who have +mortgages to repay. But what is there so clever about that? Any man, +if you pinch him sufficiently, will surrender you a mortgage at +half-price,--any man, that is to say, except myself, who care nothing +for your money. Were a loan of mine to remain out three years, I should +never demand a kopeck of interest on it.” + +“Quite so, Constantine Thedorovitch,” replied the factor. “But I am +asking this of you more for the purpose of establishing us on a business +footing than because I desire to win your favour. Prey, therefore, +accept this earnest money of three thousand roubles.” And the man drew +from his breast pocket a dirty roll of bank-notes, which, carelessly +receiving, Kostanzhoglo thrust, uncounted, into the back pocket of his +overcoat. + +“Hm!” thought Chichikov. “For all he cares, the notes might have been a +handkerchief.” + +When Kostanzhoglo appeared at closer quarters--that is to say, in the +doorway of the drawing-room--he struck Chichikov more than ever with the +swarthiness of his complexion, the dishevelment of his black, slightly +grizzled locks, the alertness of his eye, and the impression of fiery +southern origin which his whole personality diffused. For he was not +wholly a Russian, nor could he himself say precisely who his forefathers +had been. Yet, inasmuch as he accounted genealogical research no part of +the science of estate-management, but a mere superfluity, he looked upon +himself as, to all intents and purposes, a native of Russia, and the +more so since the Russian language was the only tongue he knew. + +Platon presented Chichikov, and the pair exchanged greetings. + +“To get rid of my depression, Constantine,” continued Platon, “I am +thinking of accompanying our guest on a tour through a few of the +provinces.” + +“An excellent idea,” said Kostanzhoglo. “But precisely whither?” he +added, turning hospitably to Chichikov. + +“To tell you the truth,” replied that personage with an affable +inclination of the head as he smoothed the arm of his chair with his +hand, “I am travelling less on my own affairs than on the affairs of +others. That is to say, General Betristchev, an intimate friend, and, +I might add, a generous benefactor, of mine, has charged me with +commissions to some of his relatives. Nevertheless, though relatives are +relatives, I may say that I am travelling on my own account as well, in +that, in addition to possible benefit to my health, I desire to see the +world and the whirligig of humanity, which constitute, so to speak, a +living book, a second course of education.” + +“Yes, there is no harm in looking at other corners of the world besides +one’s own.” + +“You speak truly. There IS no harm in such a proceeding. Thereby one may +see things which one has not before encountered, one may meet men with +whom one has not before come in contact. And with some men of that kind +a conversation is as precious a benefit as has been conferred upon me +by the present occasion. I come to you, most worthy Constantine +Thedorovitch, for instruction, and again for instruction, and beg of you +to assuage my thirst with an exposition of the truth as it is. I hunger +for the favour of your words as for manna.” + +“But how so? What can _I_ teach you?” exclaimed Kostanzhoglo in +confusion. “I myself was given but the plainest of educations.” + +“Nay, most worthy sir, you possess wisdom, and again wisdom. Wisdom only +can direct the management of a great estate, that can derive a +sound income from the same, that can acquire wealth of a real, not a +fictitious, order while also fulfilling the duties of a citizen and +thereby earning the respect of the Russian public. All this I pray you +to teach me.” + +“I tell you what,” said Kostanzhoglo, looking meditatively at his guest. +“You had better stay with me for a few days, and during that time I can +show you how things are managed here, and explain to you everything. +Then you will see for yourself that no great wisdom is required for the +purpose.” + +“Yes, certainly you must stay here,” put in the lady of the house. Then, +turning to her brother, she added: “And you too must stay. Why should +you be in such a hurry?” + +“Very well,” he replied. “But what say YOU, Paul Ivanovitch?” + +“I say the same as you, and with much pleasure,” replied Chichikov. +“But also I ought to tell you this: that there is a relative of General +Betristchev’s, a certain Colonel Koshkarev--” + +“Yes, we know him; but he is quite mad.” + +“As you say, he is mad, and I should not have been intending to visit +him, were it not that General Betristchev is an intimate friend of mine, +as well as, I might add, my most generous benefactor.” + +“Then,” said Kostanzhoglo, “do you go and see Colonel Koshkarev NOW. +He lives less than ten versts from here, and I have a gig already +harnessed. Go to him at once, and return here for tea.” + +“An excellent idea!” cried Chichikov, and with that he seized his cap. + +Half an hour’s drive sufficed to bring him to the Colonel’s +establishment. The village attached to the manor was in a state of utter +confusion, since in every direction building and repairing operations +were in progress, and the alleys were choked with heaps of lime, bricks, +and beams of wood. Also, some of the huts were arranged to resemble +offices, and superscribed in gilt letters “Depot for Agricultural +Implements,” “Chief Office of Accounts,” “Estate Works Committee,” + “Normal School for the Education of Colonists,” and so forth. + +Chichikov found the Colonel posted behind a desk and holding a pen +between his teeth. Without an instant’s delay the master of the +establishment--who seemed a kindly, approachable man, and accorded to +his visitor a very civil welcome--plunged into a recital of the labour +which it had cost him to bring the property to its present condition of +affluence. Then he went on to lament the fact that he could not make +his peasantry understand the incentives to labour which the riches +of science and art provide; for instance, he had failed to induce his +female serfs to wear corsets, whereas in Germany, where he had resided +for fourteen years, every humble miller’s daughter could play the piano. +None the less, he said, he meant to peg away until every peasant on +the estate should, as he walked behind the plough, indulge in a regular +course of reading Franklin’s Notes on Electricity, Virgil’s Georgics, or +some work on the chemical properties of soil. + +“Good gracious!” mentally exclaimed Chichikov. “Why, I myself have not +had time to finish that book by the Duchesse de la Valliere!” + +Much else the Colonel said. In particular did he aver that, provided +the Russian peasant could be induced to array himself in German costume, +science would progress, trade increase, and the Golden Age dawn in +Russia. + +For a while Chichikov listened with distended eyes. Then he felt +constrained to intimate that with all that he had nothing to do, seeing +that his business was merely to acquire a few souls, and thereafter to +have their purchase confirmed. + +“If I understand you aright,” said the Colonel, “you wish to present a +Statement of Plea?” + +“Yes, that is so.” + +“Then kindly put it into writing, and it shall be forwarded to the +Office for the Reception of Reports and Returns. Thereafter that Office +will consider it, and return it to me, who will, in turn, dispatch it to +the Estate Works Committee, who will, in turn, revise it, and present it +to the Administrator, who, jointly with the Secretary, will--” + +“Pardon me,” expostulated Chichikov, “but that procedure will take up a +great deal of time. Why need I put the matter into writing at all? It is +simply this. I want a few souls which are--well, which are, so to speak, +dead.” + +“Very good,” commented the Colonel. “Do you write down in your Statement +of Plea that the souls which you desire are, ‘so to speak, dead.’” + +“But what would be the use of my doing so? Though the souls are dead, my +purpose requires that they should be represented as alive.” + +“Very good,” again commented the Colonel. “Do you write down in your +Statement that ‘it is necessary’ (or, should you prefer an alternative +phrase, ‘it is requested,’ or ‘it is desiderated,’ or ‘it is prayed,’) +‘that the souls be represented as alive.’ At all events, WITHOUT +documentary process of that kind, the matter cannot possibly be carried +through. Also, I will appoint a Commissioner to guide you round the +various Offices.” + +And he sounded a bell; whereupon there presented himself a man whom, +addressing as “Secretary,” the Colonel instructed to summon the +“Commissioner.” The latter, on appearing, was seen to have the air, half +of a peasant, half of an official. + +“This man,” the Colonel said to Chichikov, “will act as your escort.” + +What could be done with a lunatic like Koshkarev? In the end, curiosity +moved Chichikov to accompany the Commissioner. The Committee for the +Reception of Reports and Returns was discovered to have put up its +shutters, and to have locked its doors, for the reason that the Director +of the Committee had been transferred to the newly-formed Committee +of Estate Management, and his successor had been annexed by the same +Committee. Next, Chichikov and his escort rapped at the doors of the +Department of Estate Affairs; but that Department’s quarters happened to +be in a state of repair, and no one could be made to answer the +summons save a drunken peasant from whom not a word of sense was to be +extracted. At length the escort felt himself moved to remark: + +“There is a deal of foolishness going on here. Fellows like that +drunkard lead the barin by the nose, and everything is ruled by the +Committee of Management, which takes men from their proper work, and +sets them to do any other it likes. Indeed, only through the Committee +does ANYTHING get done.” + +By this time Chichikov felt that he had seen enough; wherefore he +returned to the Colonel, and informed him that the Office for the +Reception of Reports and Returns had ceased to exist. At once the +Colonel flamed to noble rage. Pressing Chichikov’s hand in token of +gratitude for the information which the guest had furnished, he took +paper and pen, and noted eight searching questions under three separate +headings: (1) “Why has the Committee of Management presumed to issue +orders to officials not under its jurisdiction?” (2) “Why has the Chief +Manager permitted his predecessor, though still in retention of his +post, to follow him to another Department?” and (3) “Why has the +Committee of Estate Affairs suffered the Office for the Reception of +Reports and Returns to lapse?” + +“Now for a row!” thought Chichikov to himself, and turned to depart; but +his host stopped him, saying: + +“I cannot let you go, for, in addition to my honour having become +involved, it behoves me to show my people how the regular, the +organised, administration of an estate may be conducted. Herewith I will +hand over the conduct of your affair to a man who is worth all the rest +of the staff put together, and has had a university education. Also, the +better to lose no time, may I humbly beg you to step into my library, +where you will find notebooks, paper, pens, and everything else that +you may require. Of these articles pray make full use, for you are +a gentleman of letters, and it is your and my joint duty to bring +enlightenment to all.” + +So saying, he ushered his guest into a large room lined from floor to +ceiling with books and stuffed specimens. The books in question +were divided into sections--a section on forestry, a section on +cattle-breeding, a section on the raising of swine, and a section on +horticulture, together with special journals of the type circulated +merely for the purposes of reference, and not for general reading. +Perceiving that these works were scarcely of a kind calculated to while +away an idle hour, Chichikov turned to a second bookcase. But to do so +was to fall out of the frying-pan into the fire, for the contents of the +second bookcase proved to be works on philosophy, while, in particular, +six huge volumes confronted him under a label inscribed “A Preparatory +Course to the Province of Thought, with the Theory of Community of +Effort, Co-operation, and Subsistence, in its Application to a Right +Understanding of the Organic Principles of a Mutual Division of +Social Productivity.” Indeed, wheresoever Chichikov looked, every page +presented to his vision some such words as “phenomenon,” “development,” + “abstract,” “contents,” and “synopsis.” “This is not the sort of thing +for me,” he murmured, and turned his attention to a third bookcase, +which contained books on the Arts. Extracting a huge tome in which some +by no means reticent mythological illustrations were contained, he set +himself to examine these pictures. They were of the kind which pleases +mostly middle-aged bachelors and old men who are accustomed to seek +in the ballet and similar frivolities a further spur to their waning +passions. Having concluded his examination, Chichikov had just extracted +another volume of the same species when Colonel Koshkarev returned with +a document of some sort and a radiant countenance. + +“Everything has been carried through in due form!” he cried. “The man +whom I mentioned is a genius indeed, and I intend not only to promote +him over the rest, but also to create for him a special Department. +Herewith shall you hear what a splendid intellect is his, and how in a +few minutes he has put the whole affair in order.” + +“May the Lord be thanked for that!” thought Chichikov. Then he settled +himself while the Colonel read aloud: + +“‘After giving full consideration to the Reference which your Excellency +has entrusted to me, I have the honour to report as follows: + +“‘(1) In the Statement of Plea presented by one Paul Ivanovitch +Chichikov, Gentleman, Chevalier, and Collegiate Councillor, there +lurks an error, in that an oversight has led the Petitioner to apply to +Revisional Souls the term “Dead.” Now, from the context it would appear +that by this term the Petitioner desires to signify Souls Approaching +Death rather than Souls Actually Deceased: wherefore the term employed +betrays such an empirical instruction in letters as must, beyond doubt, +have been confined to the Village School, seeing that in truth the Soul +is Deathless.’ + +“The rascal!” Koshkarev broke off to exclaim delightedly. “He has +got you there, Monsieur Chichikov. And you will admit that he has a +sufficiently incisive pen? + +“‘(2) On this Estate there exist no Unmortgaged Souls whatsoever, +whether Approaching Death or Otherwise; for the reason that all Souls +thereon have been pledged not only under a First Deed of Mortgage, but +also (for the sum of One Hundred and Fifty Roubles per Soul) under +a Second,--the village of Gurmailovka alone excepted, in that, +in consequence of a Suit having been brought against Landowner +Priadistchev, and of a caveat having been pronounced by the Land Court, +and of such caveat having been published in No. 42 of the Gazette of +Moscow, the said Village has come within the Jurisdiction of the Court +Above-Mentioned.” + +“Why did you not tell me all this before?” cried Chichikov furiously. +“Why you have kept me dancing about for nothing?” + +“Because it was absolutely necessary that you should view the matter +through forms of documentary process. This is no jest on my part. The +inexperienced may see things subconsciously, yet it is imperative that +he should also see them CONSCIOUSLY.” + +But to Chichikov’s patience an end had come. Seizing his cap, and +casting all ceremony to the winds, he fled from the house, and rushed +through the courtyard. As it happened, the man who had driven him +thither had, warned by experience, not troubled even to take out the +horses, since he knew that such a proceeding would have entailed not +only the presentation of a Statement of Plea for fodder, but also a +delay of twenty-four hours until the Resolution granting the same should +have been passed. Nevertheless the Colonel pursued his guest to the +gates, and pressed his hand warmly as he thanked him for having enabled +him (the Colonel) thus to exhibit in operation the proper management of +an estate. Also, he begged to state that, under the circumstances, it +was absolutely necessary to keep things moving and circulating, since, +otherwise, slackness was apt to supervene, and the working of the +machine to grow rusty and feeble; but that, in spite of all, the +present occasion had inspired him with a happy idea--namely, the idea +of instituting a Committee which should be entitled “The Committee of +Supervision of the Committee of Management,” and which should have +for its function the detection of backsliders among the body first +mentioned. + +It was late when, tired and dissatisfied, Chichikov regained +Kostanzhoglo’s mansion. Indeed, the candles had long been lit. + +“What has delayed you?” asked the master of the house as Chichikov +entered the drawing-room. + +“Yes, what has kept you and the Colonel so long in conversation +together?” added Platon. + +“This--the fact that never in my life have I come across such an +imbecile,” was Chichikov’s reply. + +“Never mind,” said Kostanzhoglo. “Koshkarev is a most reassuring +phenomenon. He is necessary in that in him we see expressed in +caricature all the more crying follies of our intellectuals--of the +intellectuals who, without first troubling to make themselves acquainted +with their own country, borrow silliness from abroad. Yet that is +how certain of our landowners are now carrying on. They have set up +‘offices’ and factories and schools and ‘commissions,’ and the devil +knows what else besides. A fine lot of wiseacres! After the French War +in 1812 they had to reconstruct their affairs: and see how they have +done it! Yet so much worse have they done it than a Frenchman would have +done that any fool of a Peter Petrovitch Pietukh now ranks as a good +landowner!” + +“But he has mortgaged the whole of his estate?” remarked Chichikov. + +“Yes, nowadays everything is being mortgaged, or is going to be.” This +said, Kostanzhoglo’s temper rose still further. “Out upon your factories +of hats and candles!” he cried. “Out upon procuring candle-makers +from London, and then turning landowners into hucksters! To think of +a Russian pomiestchik [49], a member of the noblest of callings, +conducting workshops and cotton mills! Why, it is for the wenches of +towns to handle looms for muslin and lace.” + +“But you yourself maintain workshops?” remarked Platon. + +“I do; but who established them? They established themselves. For +instance, wool had accumulated, and since I had nowhere to store it, I +began to weave it into cloth--but, mark you, only into good, plain cloth +of which I can dispose at a cheap rate in the local markets, and which +is needed by peasants, including my own. Again, for six years on end +did the fish factories keep dumping their offal on my bank of the river; +wherefore, at last, as there was nothing to be done with it, I took +to boiling it into glue, and cleared forty thousand roubles by the +process.” + +“The devil!” thought Chichikov to himself as he stared at his host. +“What a fist this man has for making money!” + +“Another reason why I started those factories,” continued Kostanzhoglo, +“is that they might give employment to many peasants who would otherwise +have starved. You see, the year happened to have been a lean one--thanks +to those same industry-mongering landowners, in that they had neglected +to sow their crops; and now my factories keep growing at the rate of +a factory a year, owing to the circumstance that such quantities +of remnants and cuttings become so accumulated that, if a man looks +carefully to his management, he will find every sort of rubbish to be +capable of bringing in a return--yes, to the point of his having to +reject money on the plea that he has no need of it. Yet I do not find +that to do all this I require to build a mansion with facades and +pillars!” + +“Marvellous!” exclaimed Chichikov. “Beyond all things does it surprise +me that refuse can be so utilised.” + +“Yes, and that is what can be done by SIMPLE methods. But nowadays every +one is a mechanic, and wants to open that money chest with an instrument +instead of simply. For that purpose he hies him to England. Yes, THAT is +the thing to do. What folly!” Kostanzhoglo spat and added: “Yet when +he returns from abroad he is a hundred times more ignorant than when he +went.” + +“Ah, Constantine,” put in his wife anxiously, “you know how bad for you +it is to talk like this.” + +“Yes, but how am I to help losing my temper? The thing touches me too +closely, it vexes me too deeply to think that the Russian character +should be degenerating. For in that character there has dawned a sort of +Quixotism which never used to be there. Yes, no sooner does a man get +a little education into his head than he becomes a Don Quixote, and +establishes schools on his estate such as even a madman would never have +dreamed of. And from that school there issues a workman who is good for +nothing, whether in the country or in the town--a fellow who drinks +and is for ever standing on his dignity. Yet still our landowners keep +taking to philanthropy, to converting themselves into philanthropic +knights-errant, and spending millions upon senseless hospitals and +institutions, and so ruining themselves and turning their families +adrift. Yes, that is all that comes of philanthropy.” + +Chichikov’s business had nothing to do with the spread of enlightenment, +he was but seeking an opportunity to inquire further concerning the +putting of refuse to lucrative uses; but Kostanzhoglo would not let +him get a word in edgeways, so irresistibly did the flow of sarcastic +comment pour from the speaker’s lips. + +“Yes,” went on Kostanzhoglo, “folk are always scheming to educate the +peasant. But first make him well-off and a good farmer. THEN he will +educate himself fast enough. As things are now, the world has grown +stupid to a degree that passes belief. Look at the stuff our present-day +scribblers write! Let any sort of a book be published, and at once you +will see every one making a rush for it. Similarly will you find +folk saying: ‘The peasant leads an over-simple life. He ought to be +familiarised with luxuries, and so led to yearn for things above his +station.’ And the result of such luxuries will be that the peasant will +become a rag rather than a man, and suffer from the devil only knows +what diseases, until there will remain in the land not a boy of eighteen +who will not have experienced the whole gamut of them, and found himself +left with not a tooth in his jaws or a hair on his pate. Yes, that is +what will come of infecting the peasant with such rubbish. But, thank +God, there is still one healthy class left to us--a class which has +never taken up with the ‘advantages’ of which I speak. For that we ought +to be grateful. And since, even yet, the Russian agriculturist remains +the most respect-worthy man in the land, why should he be touched? Would +to God every one were an agriculturist!” + +“Then you believe agriculture to be the most profitable of occupations?” + said Chichikov. + +“The best, at all events--if not the most profitable. ‘In the sweat +of thy brow shalt thou till the land.’ To quote that requires no +great wisdom, for the experience of ages has shown us that, in the +agricultural calling, man has ever remained more moral, more pure, more +noble than in any other. Of course I do not mean to imply that no other +calling ought to be practised: simply that the calling in question lies +at the root of all the rest. However much factories may be established +privately or by the law, there will still lie ready to man’s hand all +that he needs--he will still require none of those amenities which +are sapping the vitality of our present-day folk, nor any of those +industrial establishments which make their profit, and keep themselves +going, by causing foolish measures to be adopted which, in the end, +are bound to deprave and corrupt our unfortunate masses. I myself am +determined never to establish any manufacture, however profitable, +which will give rise to a demand for ‘higher things,’ such as sugar +and tobacco--no not if I lose a million by my refusing to do so. If +corruption MUST overtake the MIR, it shall not be through my hands. +And I think that God will justify me in my resolve. Twenty years have +I lived among the common folk, and I know what will inevitably come of +such things.” + +“But what surprises me most,” persisted Chichikov, “is that from refuse +it should be possible, with good management, to make such an immensity +of profit.” + +“And as for political economy,” continued Kostanzhoglo, without noticing +him, and with his face charged with bilious sarcasm, “--as for political +economy, it is a fine thing indeed. Just one fool sitting on another +fool’s back, and flogging him along, even though the rider can see +no further than his own nose! Yet into the saddle will that fool +climb--spectacles and all! Oh, the folly, the folly of such things!” And +the speaker spat derisively. + +“That may be true,” said his wife. “Yet you must not get angry about it. +Surely one can speak on such subjects without losing one’s temper?” + +“As I listen to you, most worthy Constantine Thedorovitch,” Chichikov +hastened to remark, “it becomes plain to me that you have penetrated +into the meaning of life, and laid your finger upon the essential root +of the matter. Yet supposing, for a moment, we leave the affairs of +humanity in general, and turn our attention to a purely individual +affair, might I ask you how, in the case of a man becoming a landowner, +and having a mind to grow wealthy as quickly as possible (in order that +he may fulfil his bounden obligations as a citizen), he can best set +about it?” + +“How he can best set about growing wealthy?” repeated Kostanzhoglo. +“Why,--” + +“Let us go to supper,” interrupted the lady of the house, rising from +her chair, and moving towards the centre of the room, where she wrapped +her shivering young form in a shawl. Chichikov sprang up with the +alacrity of a military man, offered her his arm, and escorted her, as +on parade, to the dining-room, where awaiting them there was the +soup-toureen. From it the lid had just been removed, and the room was +redolent of the fragrant odour of early spring roots and herbs. The +company took their seats, and at once the servants placed the +remainder of the dishes (under covers) upon the table and withdrew, +for Kostanzhoglo hated to have servants listening to their employers’ +conversation, and objected still more to their staring at him all the +while that he was eating. + +When the soup had been consumed, and glasses of an excellent vintage +resembling Hungarian wine had been poured out, Chichikov said to his +host: + +“Most worthy sir, allow me once more to direct your attention to the +subject of which we were speaking at the point when the conversation +became interrupted. You will remember that I was asking you how best a +man can set about, proceed in, the matter of growing...” + + + [Here from the original two pages are missing.] + + +... “A property for which, had he asked forty thousand, I should still +have demanded a reduction.” + +“Hm!” thought Chichikov; then added aloud: “But why do you not purchase +it yourself?” + +“Because to everything there must be assigned a limit. Already my +property keeps me sufficiently employed. Moreover, I should cause our +local dvoriane to begin crying out in chorus that I am exploiting their +extremities, their ruined position, for the purpose of acquiring land +for under its value. Of that I am weary.” + +“How readily folk speak evil!” exclaimed Chichikov. + +“Yes, and the amount of evil-speaking in our province surpasses belief. +Never will you hear my name mentioned without my being called also +a miser and a usurer of the worst possible sort; whereas my accusers +justify themselves in everything, and say that, ‘though we have wasted +our money, we have started a demand for the higher amenities of life, +and therefore encouraged industry with our wastefulness, a far better +way of doing things than that practised by Kostanzhoglo, who lives like +a pig.’” + +“Would _I_ could live in your ‘piggish’ fashion!” ejaculated Chichikov. + +“And so forth, and so forth. Yet what are the ‘higher amenities of +life’? What good can they do to any one? Even if a landowner of the +day sets up a library, he never looks at a single book in it, but soon +relapses into card-playing--the usual pursuit. Yet folk call me names +simply because I do not waste my means upon the giving of dinners! One +reason why I do not give such dinners is that they weary me; and another +reason is that I am not used to them. But come you to my house for the +purpose of taking pot luck, and I shall be delighted to see you. Also, +folk foolishly say that I lend money on interest; whereas the truth is +that if you should come to me when you are really in need, and should +explain to me openly how you propose to employ my money, and I should +perceive that you are purposing to use that money wisely, and that you +are really likely to profit thereby--well, in that case you would find +me ready to lend you all that you might ask without interest at all.” + +“That is a thing which it is well to know,” reflected Chichikov. + +“Yes,” repeated Kostanzhoglo, “under those circumstances I should never +refuse you my assistance. But I do object to throwing my money to the +winds. Pardon me for expressing myself so plainly. To think of lending +money to a man who is merely devising a dinner for his mistress, or +planning to furnish his house like a lunatic, or thinking of taking his +paramour to a masked ball or a jubilee in honour of some one who had +better never have been born!” + +And, spitting, he came near to venting some expression which would +scarcely have been becoming in the presence of his wife. Over his face +the dark shadow of hypochondria had cast a cloud, and furrows had formed +on his brow and temples, and his every gesture bespoke the influence of +a hot, nervous rancour. + +“But allow me once more to direct your attention to the subject of our +recently interrupted conversation,” persisted Chichikov as he sipped a +glass of excellent raspberry wine. “That is to say, supposing I were +to acquire the property which you have been good enough to bring to my +notice, how long would it take me to grow rich?” + +“That would depend on yourself,” replied Kostanzhoglo with grim +abruptness and evident ill-humour. “You might either grow rich quickly +or you might never grow rich at all. If you made up your mind to grow +rich, sooner or later you would find yourself a wealthy man.” + +“Indeed?” ejaculated Chichikov. + +“Yes,” replied Kostanzhoglo, as sharply as though he were angry with +Chichikov. “You would merely need to be fond of work: otherwise you +would effect nothing. The main thing is to like looking after your +property. Believe me, you would never grow weary of doing so. People +would have it that life in the country is dull; whereas, if I were to +spend a single day as it is spent by some folk, with their stupid clubs +and their restaurants and their theatres, I should die of ennui. The +fools, the idiots, the generations of blind dullards! But a landowner +never finds the days wearisome--he has not the time. In his life not a +moment remains unoccupied; it is full to the brim. And with it all goes +an endless variety of occupations. And what occupations! Occupations +which genuinely uplift the soul, seeing that the landowner walks with +nature and the seasons of the year, and takes part in, and is intimate +with, everything which is evolved by creation. For let us look at the +round of the year’s labours. Even before spring has arrived there will +have begun a general watching and a waiting for it, and a preparing for +sowing, and an apportioning of crops, and a measuring of seed grain by +byres, and drying of seed, and a dividing of the workers into teams. +For everything needs to be examined beforehand, and calculations must be +made at the very start. And as soon as ever the ice shall have melted, +and the rivers be flowing, and the land have dried sufficiently to be +workable, the spade will begin its task in kitchen and flower garden, +and the plough and the harrow their tasks in the field; until everywhere +there will be tilling and sowing and planting. And do you understand +what the sum of that labour will mean? It will mean that the harvest is +being sown, that the welfare of the world is being sown, that the +food of millions is being put into the earth. And thereafter will come +summer, the season of reaping, endless reaping; for suddenly the crops +will have ripened, and rye-sheaf will be lying heaped upon rye-sheaf, +with, elsewhere, stocks of barley, and of oats, and of wheat. And +everything will be teeming with life, and not a moment will there need +to be lost, seeing that, had you even twenty eyes, you would have need +for them all. And after the harvest festivities there will be grain to +be carted to byre or stacked in ricks, and stores to be prepared for the +winter, and storehouses and kilns and cattle-sheds to be cleaned for the +same purpose, and the women to be assigned their tasks, and the totals +of everything to be calculated, so that one may see the value of +what has been done. And lastly will come winter, when in every +threshing-floor the flail will be working, and the grain, when threshed, +will need to be carried from barn to binn, and the mills require to be +seen to, and the estate factories to be inspected, and the workmen’s +huts to be visited for the purpose of ascertaining how the muzhik is +faring (for, given a carpenter who is clever with his tools, I, for one, +am only too glad to spend an hour or two in his company, so cheering +to me is labour). And if, in addition, one discerns the end to which +everything is moving, and the manner in which the things of earth are +everywhere multiplying and multiplying, and bringing forth more and more +fruit to one’s profiting, I cannot adequately express what takes +place in a man’s soul. And that, not because of the growth in his +wealth--money is money and no more--but because he will feel that +everything is the work of his own hands, and that he has been the cause +of everything, and its creator, and that from him, as from a magician, +there has flowed bounty and goodness for all. In what other calling will +you find such delights in prospect?” As he spoke, Kostanzhoglo raised +his face, and it became clear that the wrinkles had fled from it, and +that, like the Tsar on the solemn day of his crowning, Kostanzhoglo’s +whole form was diffusing light, and his features had in them a gentle +radiance. “In all the world,” he repeated, “you will find no joys like +these, for herein man imitates the God who projected creation as the +supreme happiness, and now demands of man that he, too, should act as +the creator of prosperity. Yet there are folk who call such functions +tedious!” + +Kostanzhoglo’s mellifluous periods fell upon Chichikov’s ear like +the notes of a bird of paradise. From time to time he gulped, and his +softened eyes expressed the pleasure which it gave him to listen. + +“Constantine, it is time to leave the table,” said the lady of the +house, rising from her seat. Every one followed her example, and +Chichikov once again acted as his hostess’s escort--although with less +dexterity of deportment than before, owing to the fact that this time +his thoughts were occupied with more essential matters of procedure. + +“In spite of what you say,” remarked Platon as he walked behind the +pair, “I, for my part, find these things wearisome.” + +But the master of the house paid no attention to his remark, for he was +reflecting that his guest was no fool, but a man of serious thought +and speech who did not take things lightly. And, with the thought, +Kostanzhoglo grew lighter in soul, as though he had warmed himself with +his own words, and were exulting in the fact that he had found some one +capable of listening to good advice. + +When they had settled themselves in the cosy, candle-lighted +drawing-room, with its balcony and the glass door opening out into the +garden--a door through which the stars could be seen glittering amid the +slumbering tops of the trees--Chichikov felt more comfortable than he +had done for many a day past. It was as though, after long journeying, +his own roof-tree had received him once more--had received him when +his quest had been accomplished, when all that he wished for had been +gained, when his travelling-staff had been laid aside with the words “It +is finished.” And of this seductive frame of mind the true source had +been the eloquent discourse of his hospitable host. Yes, for every man +there exist certain things which, instantly that they are said, seem to +touch him more closely, more intimately, than anything has done before. +Nor is it an uncommon occurrence that in the most unexpected fashion, +and in the most retired of retreats, one will suddenly come face to face +with a man whose burning periods will lead one to forget oneself and +the tracklessness of the route and the discomfort of one’s nightly +halting-places, and the futility of crazes and the falseness of tricks +by which one human being deceives another. And at once there will become +engraven upon one’s memory--vividly, and for all time--the evening thus +spent. And of that evening one’s remembrance will hold true, both as to +who was present, and where each such person sat, and what he or she was +wearing, and what the walls and the stove and other trifling features of +the room looked like. + +In the same way did Chichikov note each detail that evening--both the +appointments of the agreeable, but not luxuriously furnished, room, and +the good-humoured expression which reigned on the face of the thoughtful +host, and the design of the curtains, and the amber-mounted pipe smoked +by Platon, and the way in which he kept puffing smoke into the fat +jowl of the dog Yarb, and the sneeze which, on each such occasion, Yarb +vented, and the laughter of the pleasant-faced hostess (though always +followed by the words “Pray do not tease him any more”) and the cheerful +candle-light, and the cricket chirping in a corner, and the glass door, +and the spring night which, laying its elbows upon the tree-tops, and +spangled with stars, and vocal with the nightingales which were pouring +forth warbled ditties from the recesses of the foliage, kept glancing +through the door, and regarding the company within. + +“How it delights me to hear your words, good Constantine Thedorovitch!” + said Chichikov. “Indeed, nowhere in Russia have I met with a man of +equal intellect.” + +Kostanzhoglo smiled, while realising that the compliment was scarcely +deserved. + +“If you want a man of GENUINE intellect,” he said, “I can tell you of +one. He is a man whose boot soles are worth more than my whole body.” + +“Who may he be?” asked Chichikov in astonishment. + +“Murazov, our local Commissioner of Taxes.” + +“Ah! I have heard of him before,” remarked Chichikov. + +“He is a man who, were he not the director of an estate, might well be a +director of the Empire. And were the Empire under my direction, I should +at once appoint him my Minister of Finance.” + +“I have heard tales beyond belief concerning him--for instance, that he +has acquired ten million roubles.” + +“Ten? More than forty. Soon half Russia will be in his hands.” + +“You don’t say so?” cried Chichikov in amazement. + +“Yes, certainly. The man who has only a hundred thousand roubles to work +with grows rich but slowly, whereas he who has millions at his disposal +can operate over a greater radius, and so back whatsoever he undertakes +with twice or thrice the money which can be brought against him. +Consequently his field becomes so spacious that he ends by having no +rivals. Yes, no one can compete with him, and, whatsoever price he may +fix for a given commodity, at that price it will have to remain, nor +will any man be able to outbid it.” + +“My God!” muttered Chichikov, crossing himself, and staring at +Kostanzhoglo with his breath catching in his throat. “The mind cannot +grasp it--it petrifies one’s thoughts with awe. You see folk marvelling +at what Science has achieved in the matter of investigating the habits +of cowbugs, but to me it is a far more marvellous thing that in the +hands of a single mortal there can become accumulated such gigantic sums +of money. But may I ask whether the great fortune of which you speak has +been acquired through honest means?” + +“Yes; through means of the most irreproachable kind--through the most +honourable of methods.” + +“Yet so improbable does it seem that I can scarcely believe it. +Thousands I could understand, but millions--!” + +“On the contrary, to make thousands honestly is a far more difficult +matter than to make millions. Millions are easily come by, for a +millionaire has no need to resort to crooked ways; the way lies straight +before him, and he needs but to annex whatsoever he comes across. No +rival will spring up to oppose him, for no rival will be sufficiently +strong, and since the millionaire can operate over an extensive radius, +he can bring (as I have said) two or three roubles to bear upon any one +else’s one. Consequently, what interest will he derive from a thousand +roubles? Why, ten or twenty per cent. at the least.” + +“And it is beyond measure marvellous that the whole should have started +from a single kopeck.” + +“Had it started otherwise, the thing could never have been done at all. +Such is the normal course. He who is born with thousands, and is brought +up to thousands, will never acquire a single kopeck more, for he will +have been set up with the amenities of life in advance, and so never +come to stand in need of anything. It is necessary to begin from the +beginning rather than from the middle; from a kopeck rather than from a +rouble; from the bottom rather than from the top. For only thus will a +man get to know the men and conditions among which his career will have +to be carved. That is to say, through encountering the rough and the +tumble of life, and through learning that every kopeck has to be beaten +out with a three-kopeck nail, and through worsting knave after knave, he +will acquire such a degree of perspicuity and wariness that he will err +in nothing which he may tackle, and never come to ruin. Believe me, it +is so. The beginning, and not the middle, is the right starting point. +No one who comes to me and says, ‘Give me a hundred thousand roubles, +and I will grow rich in no time,’ do I believe, for he is likely to meet +with failure rather than with the success of which he is so assured. +’Tis with a kopeck, and with a kopeck only, that a man must begin.” + +“If that is so, _I_ shall grow rich,” said Chichikov, involuntarily +remembering the dead souls. “For of a surety _I_ began with nothing.” + +“Constantine, pray allow Paul Ivanovitch to retire to rest,” put in +the lady of the house. “It is high time, and I am sure you have talked +enough.” + +“Yes, beyond a doubt you will grow rich,” continued Kostanzhoglo, +without heeding his wife. “For towards you there will run rivers and +rivers of gold, until you will not know what to do with all your gains.” + +As though spellbound, Chichikov sat in an aureate world of ever-growing +dreams and fantasies. All his thoughts were in a whirl, and on a carpet +of future wealth his tumultuous imagination was weaving golden patterns, +while ever in his ears were ringing the words, “towards you there will +run rivers and rivers of gold.” + +“Really, Constantine, DO allow Paul Ivanovitch to go to bed.” + +“What on earth is the matter?” retorted the master of the household +testily. “Pray go yourself if you wish to.” Then he stopped short, for +the snoring of Platon was filling the whole room, and also--outrivalling +it--that of the dog Yarb. This caused Kostanzhoglo to realise that +bedtime really had arrived; wherefore, after he had shaken Platon out +of his slumbers, and bidden Chichikov good night, all dispersed to their +several chambers, and became plunged in sleep. + +All, that is to say, except Chichikov, whose thoughts remained wakeful, +and who kept wondering and wondering how best he could become the owner, +not of a fictitious, but of a real, estate. The conversation with +his host had made everything clear, had made the possibility of +his acquiring riches manifest, had made the difficult art of estate +management at once easy and understandable; until it would seem as +though particularly was his nature adapted for mastering the art in +question. All that he would need to do would be to mortgage the dead +souls, and then to set up a genuine establishment. Already he +saw himself acting and administering as Kostanzhoglo had advised +him--energetically, and through personal oversight, and undertaking +nothing new until the old had been thoroughly learned, and viewing +everything with his own eyes, and making himself familiar with each +member of his peasantry, and abjuring all superfluities, and giving +himself up to hard work and husbandry. Yes, already could he taste the +pleasure which would be his when he had built up a complete industrial +organisation, and the springs of the industrial machine were in vigorous +working order, and each had become able to reinforce the other. Labour +should be kept in active operation, and, even as, in a mill, flour comes +flowing from grain, so should cash, and yet more cash, come flowing from +every atom of refuse and remnant. And all the while he could see before +him the landowner who was one of the leading men in Russia, and for whom +he had conceived such an unbounded respect. Hitherto only for rank or +for opulence had Chichikov respected a man--never for mere intellectual +power; but now he made a first exception in favour of Kostanzhoglo, +seeing that he felt that nothing undertaken by his host could possibly +come to naught. And another project which was occupying Chichikov’s mind +was the project of purchasing the estate of a certain landowner named +Khlobuev. Already Chichikov had at his disposal ten thousand roubles, +and a further fifteen thousand he would try and borrow of Kostanzhoglo +(seeing that the latter had himself said that he was prepared to help +any one who really desired to grow rich); while, as for the remainder, +he would either raise the sum by mortgaging the estate or force Khlobuev +to wait for it--just to tell him to resort to the courts if such might +be his pleasure. + +Long did our hero ponder the scheme; until at length the slumber which +had, these four hours past, been holding the rest of the household in +its embraces enfolded also Chichikov, and he sank into oblivion. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +Next day, with Platon and Constantine, Chichikov set forth to interview +Khlobuev, the owner whose estate Constantine had consented to help +Chichikov to purchase with a non-interest-bearing, uncovenanted loan of +ten thousand roubles. Naturally, our hero was in the highest of spirits. +For the first fifteen versts or so the road led through forest land and +tillage belonging to Platon and his brother-in-law; but directly the +limit of these domains was reached, forest land began to be replaced +with swamp, and tillage with waste. Also, the village in Khlobuev’s +estate had about it a deserted air, and as for the proprietor himself, +he was discovered in a state of drowsy dishevelment, having not long +left his bed. A man of about forty, he had his cravat crooked, his +frockcoat adorned with a large stain, and one of his boots worn through. +Nevertheless he seemed delighted to see his visitors. + +“What?” he exclaimed. “Constantine Thedorovitch and Platon Mikhalitch? +Really I must rub my eyes! Never again in this world did I look to see +callers arriving. As a rule, folk avoid me like the devil, for they +cannot disabuse their minds of the idea that I am going to ask them for +a loan. Yes, it is my own fault, I know, but what would you? To the end +will swine cheat swine. Pray excuse my costume. You will observe that my +boots are in holes. But how can I afford to get them mended?” + +“Never mind,” said Constantine. “We have come on business only. May I +present to you a possible purchaser of your estate, in the person of +Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov?” + +“I am indeed glad to meet you!” was Khlobuev’s response. “Pray shake +hands with me, Paul Ivanovitch.” + +Chichikov offered one hand, but not both. + +“I can show you a property worth your attention,” went on the master of +the estate. “May I ask if you have yet dined?” + +“Yes, we have,” put in Constantine, desirous of escaping as soon as +possible. “To save you further trouble, let us go and view the estate at +once.” + +“Very well,” replied Khlobuev. “Pray come and inspect my irregularities +and futilities. You have done well to dine beforehand, for not so much +as a fowl is left in the place, so dire are the extremities to which you +see me reduced.” + +Sighing deeply, he took Platon by the arm (it was clear that he did +not look for any sympathy from Constantine) and walked ahead, while +Constantine and Chichikov followed. + +“Things are going hard with me, Platon Mikhalitch,” continued Khlobuev. +“How hard you cannot imagine. No money have I, no food, no boots. Were +I still young and a bachelor, it would have come easy to me to live on +bread and cheese; but when a man is growing old, and has got a wife +and five children, such trials press heavily upon him, and, in spite of +himself, his spirits sink.” + +“But, should you succeed in selling the estate, that would help to put +you right, would it not?” said Platon. + +“How could it do so?” replied Khlobuev with a despairing gesture. “What +I might get for the property would have to go towards discharging my +debts, and I should find myself left with less than a thousand roubles +besides.” + +“Then what do you intend to do?” + +“God knows.” + +“But is there NOTHING to which you could set your hand in order to clear +yourself of your difficulties?” + +“How could there be?” + +“Well, you might accept a Government post.” + +“Become a provincial secretary, you mean? How could I obtain such a +post? They would not offer me one of the meanest possible kind. Even +supposing that they did, how could I live on a salary of five hundred +roubles--I who have a wife and five children?” + +“Then try and obtain a bailiff’s post.” + +“Who would entrust their property to a man who has squandered his own +estate?” + +“Nevertheless, when death and destitution threaten, a man must either +do something or starve. Shall I ask my brother to use his influence to +procure you a post?” + +“No, no, Platon Mikhalitch,” sighed Khlobuev, gripping the other’s hand. +“I am no longer serviceable--I am grown old before my time, and find +that liver and rheumatism are paying me for the sins of my youth. Why +should the Government be put to a loss on my account?--not to speak of +the fact that for every salaried post there are countless numbers of +applicants. God forbid that, in order to provide me with a livelihood +further burdens should be imposed upon an impoverished public!” + +“Such are the results of improvident management!” thought Platon to +himself. “The disease is even worse than my slothfulness.” + +Meanwhile Kostanzhoglo, walking by Chichikov’s side, was almost taking +leave of his senses. + +“Look at it!” he cried with a wave of his hand. “See to what +wretchedness the peasant has become reduced! Should cattle disease come, +Khlobuev will have nothing to fall back upon, but will be forced to sell +his all--to leave the peasant without a horse, and therefore without the +means to labour, even though the loss of a single day’s work may take +years of labour to rectify. Meanwhile it is plain that the local peasant +has become a mere dissolute, lazy drunkard. Give a muzhik enough to live +upon for twelve months without working, and you will corrupt him for +ever, so inured to rags and vagrancy will he grow. And what is the good +of that piece of pasture there--of that piece on the further side of +those huts? It is a mere flooded tract. Were it mine, I should put +it under flax, and clear five thousand roubles, or else sow it with +turnips, and clear, perhaps, four thousand. And see how the rye is +drooping, and nearly laid. As for wheat, I am pretty sure that he has +not sown any. Look, too, at those ravines! Were they mine, they would +be standing under timber which even a rook could not top. To think of +wasting such quantities of land! Where land wouldn’t bear corn, I should +dig it up, and plant it with vegetables. What ought to be done is that +Khlobuev ought to take a spade into his own hands, and to set his wife +and children and servants to do the same; and even if they died of the +exertion, they would at least die doing their duty, and not through +guzzling at the dinner table.” + +This said, Kostanzhoglo spat, and his brow flushed with grim +indignation. + +Presently they reached an elevation whence the distant flashing of a +river, with its flood waters and subsidiary streams, caught the eye, +while, further off, a portion of General Betristchev’s homestead could +be discerned among the trees, and, over it, a blue, densely wooded hill +which Chichikov guessed to be the spot where Tientietnikov’s mansion was +situated. + +“This is where I should plant timber,” said Chichikov. “And, regarded +as a site for a manor house, the situation could scarcely be beaten for +beauty of view.” + +“You seem to get great store upon views and beauty,” remarked +Kostanzhoglo with reproof in his tone. “Should you pay too much +attention to those things, you might find yourself without crops or +view. Utility should be placed first, not beauty. Beauty will come of +itself. Take, for example, towns. The fairest and most beautiful towns +are those which have built themselves--those in which each man has built +to suit his own exclusive circumstances and needs; whereas towns which +men have constructed on regular, string-taut lines are no better than +collections of barracks. Put beauty aside, and look only to what is +NECESSARY.” + +“Yes, but to me it would always be irksome to have to wait. All the time +that I was doing so I should be hungering to see in front of me the +sort of prospect which I prefer.” + +“Come, come! Are you a man of twenty-five--you who have served as a +tchinovnik in St. Petersburg? Have patience, have patience. For six +years work, and work hard. Plant, sow, and dig the earth without taking +a moment’s rest. It will be difficult, I know--yes, difficult indeed; +but at the end of that time, if you have thoroughly stirred the soil, +the land will begin to help you as nothing else can do. That is to say, +over and above your seventy or so pairs of hands, there will begin to +assist in the work seven hundred pairs of hands which you cannot see. +Thus everything will be multiplied tenfold. I myself have ceased even +to have to lift a finger, for whatsoever needs to be done gets done of +itself. Nature loves patience: always remember that. It is a law given +her of God Himself, who has blessed all those who are strong to endure.” + +“To hear your words is to be both encouraged and strengthened,” said +Chichikov. To this Kostanzhoglo made no reply, but presently went on: + +“And see how that piece of land has been ploughed! To stay here longer +is more than I can do. For me, to have to look upon such want of +orderliness and foresight is death. Finish your business with Khlobuev +without me, and whatsoever you do, get this treasure out of that fool’s +hands as quickly as possible, for he is dishonouring God’s gifts.” + +And Kostanzhoglo, his face dark with the rage that was seething in +his excitable soul, left Chichikov, and caught up the owner of the +establishment. + +“What, Constantine Thedorovitch?” cried Khlobuev in astonishment. “Just +arrived, you are going already?” + +“Yes; I cannot help it; urgent business requires me at home.” And +entering his gig, Kostanzhoglo drove rapidly away. Somehow Khlobuev +seemed to divine the cause of his sudden departure. + +“It was too much for him,” he remarked. “An agriculturist of that +kind does not like to have to look upon the results of such feckless +management as mine. Would you believe it, Paul Ivanovitch, but this year +I have been unable to sow any wheat! Am I not a fine husbandman? There +was no seed for the purpose, nor yet anything with which to prepare the +ground. No, I am not like Constantine Thedorovitch, who, I hear, is a +perfect Napoleon in his particular line. Again and again the thought +occurs to me, ‘Why has so much intellect been put into that head, and +only a drop or two into my own dull pate?’ Take care of that puddle, +gentlemen. I have told my peasants to lay down planks for the spring, +but they have not done so. Nevertheless my heart aches for the poor +fellows, for they need a good example, and what sort of an example am I? +How am _I_ to give them orders? Pray take them under your charge, Paul +Ivanovitch, for I cannot teach them orderliness and method when I myself +lack both. As a matter of fact, I should have given them their freedom +long ago, had there been any use in my doing so; for even I can see that +peasants must first be afforded the means of earning a livelihood before +they can live. What they need is a stern, yet just, master who shall +live with them, day in, day out, and set them an example of tireless +energy. The present-day Russian--I know of it myself--is helpless +without a driver. Without one he falls asleep, and the mould grows over +him.” + +“Yet I cannot understand WHY he should fall asleep and grow mouldy in +that fashion,” said Platon. “Why should he need continual surveillance +to keep him from degenerating into a drunkard and a good-for-nothing?” + +“The cause is lack of enlightenment,” said Chichikov. + +“Possibly--only God knows. Yet enlightenment has reached us right +enough. Do we not attend university lectures and everything else that +is befitting? Take my own education. I learnt not only the usual things, +but also the art of spending money upon the latest refinement, the +latest amenity--the art of familiarising oneself with whatsoever money +can buy. How, then, can it be said that I was educated foolishly? And +my comrades’ education was the same. A few of them succeeded in annexing +the cream of things, for the reason that they had the wit to do so, and +the rest spent their time in doing their best to ruin their health and +squander their money. Often I think there is no hope for the present-day +Russian. While desiring to do everything, he accomplishes nothing. One +day he will scheme to begin a new mode of existence, a new dietary; yet +before evening he will have so over-eaten himself as to be unable to +speak or do aught but sit staring like an owl. The same with every one.” + +“Quite so,” agreed Chichikov with a smile. “’Tis everywhere the same +story.” + +“To tell the truth, we are not born to common sense. I doubt whether +Russia has ever produced a really sensible man. For my own part, if I +see my neighbour living a regular life, and making money, and saving +it, I begin to distrust him, and to feel certain that in old age, if not +before, he too will be led astray by the devil--led astray in a moment. +Yes, whether or not we be educated, there is something we lack. But what +that something is passes my understanding.” + +On the return journey the prospect was the same as before. Everywhere +the same slovenliness, the same disorder, was displaying itself +unadorned: the only difference being that a fresh puddle had formed in +the middle of the village street. This want and neglect was noticeable +in the peasants’ quarters equally with the quarters of the barin. In +the village a furious woman in greasy sackcloth was beating a poor young +wench within an ace of her life, and at the same time devoting some +third person to the care of all the devils in hell; further away +a couple of peasants were stoically contemplating the virago--one +scratching his rump as he did so, and the other yawning. The same yawn +was discernible in the buildings, for not a roof was there but had a +gaping hole in it. As he gazed at the scene Platon himself yawned. Patch +was superimposed upon patch, and, in place of a roof, one hut had a +piece of wooden fencing, while its crumbling window-frames were stayed +with sticks purloined from the barin’s barn. Evidently the system +of upkeep in vogue was the system employed in the case of Trishkin’s +coat--the system of cutting up the cuffs and the collar into mendings +for the elbows. + +“No, I do not admire your way of doing things,” was Chichikov’s unspoken +comment when the inspection had been concluded and the party had +re-entered the house. Everywhere in the latter the visitors were +struck with the way in which poverty went with glittering, fashionable +profusion. On a writing-table lay a volume of Shakespeare, and, on an +occasional table, a carved ivory back-scratcher. The hostess, too, was +elegantly and fashionably attired, and devoted her whole conversation +to the town and the local theatre. Lastly, the children--bright, merry +little things--were well-dressed both as regards boys and girls. Yet +far better would it have been for them if they had been clad in plain +striped smocks, and running about the courtyard like peasant children. +Presently a visitor arrived in the shape of a chattering, gossiping +woman; whereupon the hostess carried her off to her own portion of the +house, and, the children following them, the men found themselves alone. + +“How much do you want for the property?” asked Chichikov of Khlobuev. +“I am afraid I must request you to name the lowest possible sum, since I +find the estate in a far worse condition than I had expected to do.” + +“Yes, it IS in a terrible state,” agreed Khlobuev. “Nor is that the +whole of the story. That is to say, I will not conceal from you the fact +that, out of a hundred souls registered at the last revision, only fifty +survive, so terrible have been the ravages of cholera. And of these, +again, some have absconded; wherefore they too must be reckoned as dead, +seeing that, were one to enter process against them, the costs would +end in the property having to pass en bloc to the legal authorities. +For these reasons I am asking only thirty-five thousand roubles for the +estate.” + +Chichikov (it need hardly be said) started to haggle. + +“Thirty-five thousand?” he cried. “Come, come! Surely you will accept +TWENTY-five thousand?” + +This was too much for Platon’s conscience. + +“Now, now, Paul Ivanovitch!” he exclaimed. “Take the property at the +price named, and have done with it. The estate is worth at least that +amount--so much so that, should you not be willing to give it, my +brother-in-law and I will club together to effect the purchase.” + +“That being so,” said Chichikov, taken aback, “I beg to agree to the +price in question. At the same time, I must ask you to allow me to defer +payment of one-half of the purchase money until a year from now.” + +“No, no, Paul Ivanovitch. Under no circumstances could I do that. Pay +me half now, and the rest in... [50] You see, I need the money for the +redemption of the mortgage.” + +“That places me in a difficulty,” remarked Chichikov. “Ten thousand +roubles is all that at the moment I have available.” As a matter of +fact, this was not true, seeing that, counting also the money which he +had borrowed of Kostanzhoglo, he had at his disposal TWENTY thousand. +His real reason for hesitating was that he disliked the idea of making +so large a payment in a lump sum. + +“I must repeat my request, Paul Ivanovitch,” said Khlobuev, “--namely, +that you pay me at least fifteen thousand immediately.” + +“The odd five thousand _I_ will lend you,” put in Platon to Chichikov. + +“Indeed?” exclaimed Chichikov as he reflected: “So he also lends money!” + +In the end Chichikov’s dispatch-box was brought from the koliaska, and +Khlobuev received thence ten thousand roubles, together with a promise +that the remaining five thousand should be forthcoming on the morrow; +though the promise was given only after Chichikov had first proposed +that THREE thousand should be brought on the day named, and the rest +be left over for two or three days longer, if not for a still more +protracted period. The truth was that Paul Ivanovitch hated parting with +money. No matter how urgent a situation might have been, he would still +have preferred to pay a sum to-morrow rather than to-day. In other +words, he acted as we all do, for we all like keeping a petitioner +waiting. “Let him rub his back in the hall for a while,” we say. “Surely +he can bide his time a little?” Yet of the fact that every hour may be +precious to the poor wretch, and that his business may suffer from +the delay, we take no account. “Good sir,” we say, “pray come again +to-morrow. To-day I have no time to spare you.” + +“Where do you intend henceforth to live?” inquired Platon. “Have you any +other property to which you can retire?” + +“No,” replied Khlobuev. “I shall remove to the town, where I possess +a small villa. That would have been necessary, in any case, for the +children’s sake. You see, they must have instruction in God’s word, and +also lessons in music and dancing; and not for love or money can these +things be procured in the country. + +“Nothing to eat, yet dancing lessons for his children!” reflected +Chichikov. + +“An extraordinary man!” was Platon’s unspoken comment. + +“However, we must contrive to wet our bargain somehow,” continued +Khlobuev. “Hi, Kirushka! Bring that bottle of champagne.” + +“Nothing to eat, yet champagne to drink!” reflected Chichikov. As for +Platon, he did not know WHAT to think. + +In Khlobuev’s eyes it was de rigueur that he should provide a guest with +champagne; but, though he had sent to the town for some, he had been met +with a blank refusal to forward even a bottle of kvass on credit. +Only the discovery of a French dealer who had recently transferred his +business from St. Petersburg, and opened a connection on a system +of general credit, saved the situation by placing Khlobuev under the +obligation of patronising him. + +The company drank three glassfuls apiece, and so grew more cheerful. +In particular did Khlobuev expand, and wax full of civility and +friendliness, and scatter witticisms and anecdotes to right and left. +What knowledge of men and the world did his utterances display! How well +and accurately could he divine things! With what appositeness did he +sketch the neighbouring landowners! How clearly he exposed their +faults and failings! How thoroughly he knew the story of certain ruined +gentry--the story of how, why, and through what cause they had fallen +upon evil days! With what comic originality could he describe their +little habits and customs! + +In short, his guests found themselves charmed with his discourse, and +felt inclined to vote him a man of first-rate intellect. + +“What most surprises me,” said Chichikov, “is how, in view of your +ability, you come to be so destitute of means or resources.” + +“But I have plenty of both,” said Khlobuev, and with that went on to +deliver himself of a perfect avalanche of projects. Yet those projects +proved to be so uncouth, so clumsy, so little the outcome of a knowledge +of men and things, that his hearers could only shrug their shoulders and +mentally exclaim: “Good Lord! What a difference between worldly wisdom +and the capacity to use it!” In every case the projects in question were +based upon the imperative necessity of at once procuring from somewhere +two hundred--or at least one hundred--thousand roubles. That done (so +Khlobuev averred), everything would fall into its proper place, +the holes in his pockets would become stopped, his income would be +quadrupled, and he would find himself in a position to liquidate his +debts in full. Nevertheless he ended by saying: “What would you advise +me to do? I fear that the philanthropist who would lend me two hundred +thousand roubles or even a hundred thousand, does not exist. It is not +God’s will that he should.” + +“Good gracious!” inwardly ejaculated Chichikov. “To suppose that God +would send such a fool two hundred thousand roubles!” + +“However,” went on Khlobuev, “I possess an aunt worth three millions--a +pious old woman who gives freely to churches and monasteries, but finds +a difficulty in helping her neighbour. At the same time, she is a lady +of the old school, and worth having a peep at. Her canaries alone +number four hundred, and, in addition, there is an army of pug-dogs, +hangers-on, and servants. Even the youngest of the servants is sixty, +but she calls them all ‘young fellows,’ and if a guest happens to offend +her during dinner, she orders them to leave him out when handing out the +dishes. THERE’S a woman for you!” + +Platon laughed. + +“And what may her family name be?” asked Chichikov. “And where does she +live?” + +“She lives in the county town, and her name is Alexandra Ivanovna +Khanasarov.” + +“Then why do you not apply to her?” asked Platon earnestly. “It seems +to me that, once she realised the position of your family, she could not +possibly refuse you.” + +“Alas! nothing is to be looked for from that quarter,” replied Khlobuev. +“My aunt is of a very stubborn disposition--a perfect stone of a woman. +Moreover, she has around her a sufficient band of favourites already. +In particular is there a fellow who is aiming for a Governorship, and +to that end has managed to insinuate himself into the circle of her +kinsfolk. By the way,” the speaker added, turning to Platon, “would you +do me a favour? Next week I am giving a dinner to the associated guilds +of the town.” + +Platon stared. He had been unaware that both in our capitals and in +our provincial towns there exists a class of men whose lives are +an enigma--men who, though they will seem to have exhausted their +substance, and to have become enmeshed in debt, will suddenly be +reported as in funds, and on the point of giving a dinner! And though, +at this dinner, the guests will declare that the festival is bound to +be their host’s last fling, and that for a certainty he will be haled to +prison on the morrow, ten years or more will elapse, and the rascal will +still be at liberty, even though, in the meanwhile, his debts will have +increased! + +In the same way did the conduct of Khlobuev’s menage afford a curious +phenomenon, for one day the house would be the scene of a solemn Te +Deum, performed by a priest in vestments, and the next of a stage play +performed by a troupe of French actors in theatrical costume. Again, +one day would see not a morsel of bread in the house, and the next day a +banquet and generous largesse given to a party of artists and sculptors. +During these seasons of scarcity (sufficiently severe to have led any +one but Khlobuev to seek suicide by hanging or shooting), the master of +the house would be preserved from rash action by his strongly religious +disposition, which, contriving in some curious way to conform with his +irregular mode of life, enabled him to fall back upon reading the lives +of saints, ascetics, and others of the type which has risen superior to +its misfortunes. And at such times his spirit would become softened, his +thoughts full of gentleness, and his eyes wet with tears; he would fall +to saying his prayers, and invariably some strange coincidence would +bring an answer thereto in the shape of an unexpected measure of +assistance. That is to say, some former friend of his would remember +him, and send him a trifle in the way of money; or else some female +visitor would be moved by his story to let her impulsive, generous heart +proffer him a handsome gift; or else a suit whereof tidings had never +even reached his ears would end by being decided in his favour. And when +that happened he would reverently acknowledge the immensity of the mercy +of Providence, gratefully tender thanksgiving for the same, and betake +himself again to his irregular mode of existence. + +“Somehow I feel sorry for the man,” said Platon when he and Chichikov +had taken leave of their host, and left the house. + +“Perhaps so, but he is a hopeless prodigal,” replied the other. +“Personally I find it impossible to compassionate such fellows.” + +And with that the pair ceased to devote another thought to Khlobuev. In +the case of Platon, this was because he contemplated the fortunes of his +fellows with the lethargic, half-somnolent eye which he turned upon all +the rest of the world; for though the sight of distress of others would +cause his heart to contract and feel full of sympathy, the impression +thus produced never sank into the depths of his being. Accordingly, +before many minutes were over he had ceased to bestow a single thought +upon his late host. With Chichikov, however, things were different. +Whereas Platon had ceased to think of Khlobuev no more than he had +ceased to think of himself, Chichikov’s mind had strayed elsewhere, +for the reason that it had become taken up with grave meditation on the +subject of the purchase just made. Suddenly finding himself no longer +a fictitious proprietor, but the owner of a real, an actually existing, +estate, he became contemplative, and his plans and ideas assumed such a +serious vein as imparted to his features an unconsciously important air. + +“Patience and hard work!” he muttered to himself. “The thing will not be +difficult, for with those two requisites I have been familiar from the +days of my swaddling clothes. Yes, no novelty will they be to me. Yet, +in middle age, shall I be able to compass the patience whereof I was +capable in my youth?” + +However, no matter how he regarded the future, and no matter from what +point of view he considered his recent acquisition, he could see nothing +but advantage likely to accrue from the bargain. For one thing, he might +be able to proceed so that, first the whole of the estate should be +mortgaged, and then the better portions of land sold outright. Or he +might so contrive matters as to manage the property for a while +(and thus become a landowner like Kostanzhoglo, whose advice, as his +neighbour and his benefactor, he intended always to follow), and then to +dispose of the property by private treaty (provided he did not wish to +continue his ownership), and still to retain in his hands the dead and +abandoned souls. And another possible coup occurred to his mind. That is +to say, he might contrive to withdraw from the district without having +repaid Kostanzhoglo at all! Truly a splendid idea! Yet it is only fair +to say that the idea was not one of Chichikov’s own conception. Rather, +it had presented itself--mocking, laughing, and winking--unbidden. Yet +the impudent, the wanton thing! Who is the procreator of suddenly +born ideas of the kind? The thought that he was now a real, an actual, +proprietor instead of a fictitious--that he was now a proprietor of real +land, real rights of timber and pasture, and real serfs who existed not +only in the imagination, but also in veritable actuality--greatly elated +our hero. So he took to dancing up and down in his seat, to rubbing +his hands together, to winking at himself, to holding his fist, +trumpet-wise, to his mouth (while making believe to execute a march), +and even to uttering aloud such encouraging nicknames and phrases as +“bulldog” and “little fat capon.” Then suddenly recollecting that he +was not alone, he hastened to moderate his behaviour and endeavoured to +stifle the endless flow of his good spirits; with the result that when +Platon, mistaking certain sounds for utterances addressed to himself, +inquired what his companion had said, the latter retained the presence +of mind to reply “Nothing.” + +Presently, as Chichikov gazed about him, he saw that for some time past +the koliaska had been skirting a beautiful wood, and that on either side +the road was bordered with an edging of birch trees, the tenderly-green, +recently-opened leaves of which caused their tall, slender trunks to +show up with the whiteness of a snowdrift. Likewise nightingales were +warbling from the recesses of the foliage, and some wood tulips were +glowing yellow in the grass. Next (and almost before Chichikov had +realised how he came to be in such a beautiful spot when, but a moment +before, there had been visible only open fields) there glimmered among +the trees the stony whiteness of a church, with, on the further side +of it, the intermittent, foliage-buried line of a fence; while from the +upper end of a village street there was advancing to meet the vehicle a +gentleman with a cap on his head, a knotted cudgel in his hands, and a +slender-limbed English dog by his side. + +“This is my brother,” said Platon. “Stop, coachman.” And he descended +from the koliaska, while Chichikov followed his example. Yarb and the +strange dog saluted one another, and then the active, thin-legged, +slender-tongued Azor relinquished his licking of Yarb’s blunt jowl, +licked Platon’s hands instead, and, leaping upon Chichikov, slobbered +right into his ear. + +The two brothers embraced. + +“Really, Platon,” said the gentleman (whose name was Vassili), “what do +you mean by treating me like this?” + +“How so?” said Platon indifferently. + +“What? For three days past I have seen and heard nothing of you! A groom +from Pietukh’s brought your cob home, and told me you had departed on an +expedition with some barin. At least you might have sent me word as to +your destination and the probable length of your absence. What made you +act so? God knows what I have not been wondering!” + +“Does it matter?” rejoined Platon. “I forgot to send you word, and we +have been no further than Constantine’s (who, with our sister, sends you +his greeting). By the way, may I introduce Paul Ivanovitch Chichikov?” + +The pair shook hands with one another. Then, doffing their caps, they +embraced. + +“What sort of man is this Chichikov?” thought Vassili. “As a rule my +brother Platon is not over-nice in his choice of acquaintances.” And, +eyeing our hero as narrowly as civility permitted, he saw that his +appearance was that of a perfectly respectable individual. + +Chichikov returned Vassili’s scrutiny with a similar observance of the +dictates of civility, and perceived that he was shorter than Platon, +that his hair was of a darker shade, and that his features, though less +handsome, contained far more life, animation, and kindliness than did +his brother’s. Clearly he indulged in less dreaming, though that was an +aspect which Chichikov little regarded. + +“I have made up my mind to go touring our Holy Russia with Paul +Ivanovitch,” said Platon. “Perhaps it will rid me of my melancholy.” + +“What has made you come to such a sudden decision?” asked the perplexed +Vassili (very nearly he added: “Fancy going travelling with a man whose +acquaintance you have just made, and who may turn out to be a rascal +or the devil knows what!” But, in spite of his distrust, he contented +himself with another covert scrutiny of Chichikov, and this time came to +the conclusion that there was no fault to be found with his exterior). + +The party turned to the right, and entered the gates of an ancient +courtyard attached to an old-fashioned house of a type no longer +built--the type which has huge gables supporting a high-pitched roof. +In the centre of the courtyard two great lime trees covered half the +surrounding space with shade, while beneath them were ranged a number +of wooden benches, and the whole was encircled with a ring of blossoming +lilacs and cherry trees which, like a beaded necklace, reinforced the +wooden fence, and almost buried it beneath their clusters of leaves and +flowers. The house, too, stood almost concealed by this greenery, +except that the front door and the windows peered pleasantly through the +foliage, and that here and there between the stems of the trees there +could be caught glimpses of the kitchen regions, the storehouses, and +the cellar. Lastly, around the whole stood a grove, from the recesses of +which came the echoing songs of nightingales. + +Involuntarily the place communicated to the soul a sort of quiet, +restful feeling, so eloquently did it speak of that care-free period +when every one lived on good terms with his neighbour, and all was +simple and unsophisticated. Vassili invited Chichikov to seat himself, +and the party approached, for that purpose, the benches under the lime +trees; after which a youth of about seventeen, and clad in a red shirt, +brought decanters containing various kinds of kvass (some of them as +thick as syrup, and others hissing like aerated lemonade), deposited the +same upon the table, and, taking up a spade which he had left leaning +against a tree, moved away towards the garden. The reason of this was +that in the brothers’ household, as in that of Kostanzhoglo, no servants +were kept, since the whole staff were rated as gardeners, and performed +that duty in rotation--Vassili holding that domestic service was not a +specialised calling, but one to which any one might contribute a hand, +and therefore one which did not require special menials to be kept for +the purpose. Moreover, he held that the average Russian peasant remains +active and willing (rather than lazy) only so long as he wears a shirt +and a peasant’s smock; but that as soon as ever he finds himself +put into a German tailcoat, he becomes awkward, sluggish, indolent, +disinclined to change his vest or take a bath, fond of sleeping in his +clothes, and certain to breed fleas and bugs under the German apparel. +And it may be that Vassili was right. At all events, the brothers’ +peasantry were exceedingly well clad--the women, in particular, having +their head-dresses spangled with gold, and the sleeves of their blouses +embroidered after the fashion of a Turkish shawl. + +“You see here the species of kvass for which our house has long been +famous,” said Vassili to Chichikov. The latter poured himself out a +glassful from the first decanter which he lighted upon, and found +the contents to be linden honey of a kind never tasted by him even in +Poland, seeing that it had a sparkle like that of champagne, and also an +effervescence which sent a pleasant spray from the mouth into the nose. + +“Nectar!” he proclaimed. Then he took some from a second decanter. It +proved to be even better than the first. “A beverage of beverages!” he +exclaimed. “At your respected brother-in-law’s I tasted the finest +syrup which has ever come my way, but here I have tasted the very finest +kvass.” + +“Yet the recipe for the syrup also came from here,” said Vassili, +“seeing that my sister took it with her. By the way, to what part of the +country, and to what places, are you thinking of travelling?” + +“To tell the truth,” replied Chichikov, rocking himself to and fro on +the bench, and smoothing his knee with his hand, and gently inclining +his head, “I am travelling less on my own affairs than on the affairs of +others. That is to say, General Betristchev, an intimate friend, and, +I might add, a generous benefactor of mine, has charged me with +commissions to some of his relatives. Nevertheless, though relatives are +relatives, I may say that I am travelling on my own account as well, in +that, in addition to possible benefit to my health, I desire to see the +world and the whirligig of humanity, which constitute, to so speak, a +living book, a second course of education.” + +Vassili took thought. “The man speaks floridly,” he reflected, “yet his +words contain a certain element of truth.” After a moment’s silence he +added to Platon: “I am beginning to think that the tour might help you +to bestir yourself. At present you are in a condition of mental slumber. +You have fallen asleep, not so much from weariness or satiety, as +through a lack of vivid perceptions and impressions. For myself, I am +your complete antithesis. I should be only too glad if I could feel less +acutely, if I could take things less to heart.” + +“Emotion has become a disease with you,” said Platon. “You seek your own +troubles, and make your own anxieties.” + +“How can you say that when ready-made anxieties greet one at every +step?” exclaimed Vassili. “For example, have you heard of the trick +which Lienitsin has just played us--of his seizing the piece of vacant +land whither our peasants resort for their sports? That piece I would +not sell for all the money in the world. It has long been our peasants’ +play-ground, and all the traditions of our village are bound up with it. +Moreover, for me, old custom is a sacred thing for which I would gladly +sacrifice everything else.” + +“Lienitsin cannot have known of this, or he would not have seized the +land,” said Platon. “He is a newcomer, just arrived from St. Petersburg. +A few words of explanation ought to meet the case.” + +“But he DOES know of what I have stated; he DOES know of it. Purposely +I sent him word to that affect, yet he has returned me the rudest of +answers.” + +“Then go yourself and explain matters to him.” + +“No, I will not do that; he has tried to carry off things with too high +a hand. But YOU can go if you like.” + +“I would certainly go were it not that I scarcely like to interfere. +Also, I am a man whom he could easily hoodwink and outwit.” + +“Would it help you if _I_ were to go?” put in Chichikov. “Pray enlighten +me as to the matter.” + +Vassili glanced at the speaker, and thought to himself: “What a passion +the man has for travelling!” + +“Yes, pray give me an idea of the kind of fellow,” repeated Chichikov, +“and also outline to me the affair.” + +“I should be ashamed to trouble you with such an unpleasant commission,” + replied Vassili. “He is a man whom I take to be an utter rascal. +Originally a member of a family of plain dvoriane in this province, he +entered the Civil Service in St. Petersburg, then married some one’s +natural daughter in that city, and has returned to lord it with a high +hand. I cannot bear the tone he adopts. Our folk are by no means fools. +They do not look upon the current fashion as the Tsar’s ukaz any more +than they look upon St. Petersburg as the Church.” + +“Naturally,” said Chichikov. “But tell me more of the particulars of the +quarrel.” + +“They are these. He needs additional land and, had he not acted as he +has done, I would have given him some land elsewhere for nothing; but, +as it is, the pestilent fellow has taken it into his head to--” + +“I think I had better go and have a talk with him. That might settle the +affair. Several times have people charged me with similar commissions, +and never have they repented of it. General Betristchev is an example.” + +“Nevertheless I am ashamed that you should be put to the annoyance of +having to converse with such a fellow.” + + + [At this point there occurs a long hiatus.] + + +“And above all things, such a transaction would need to be carried +through in secret,” said Chichikov. “True, the law does not forbid such +things, but there is always the risk of a scandal.” + +“Quite so, quite so,” said Lienitsin with head bent down. + +“Then we agree!” exclaimed Chichikov. “How charming! As I say, my +business is both legal and illegal. Though needing to effect a mortgage, +I desire to put no one to the risk of having to pay the two roubles +on each living soul; wherefore I have conceived the idea of relieving +landowners of that distasteful obligation by acquiring dead and +absconded souls who have failed to disappear from the revision list. +This enables me at once to perform an act of Christian charity and +to remove from the shoulders of our more impoverished proprietors the +burden of tax-payment upon souls of the kind specified. Should you +yourself care to do business with me, we will draw up a formal purchase +agreement as though the souls in question were still alive.” + +“But it would be such a curious arrangement,” muttered Lienitsin, moving +his chair and himself a little further away. “It would be an arrangement +which, er--er--” + +“Would involve you in no scandal whatever, seeing that the affair +would be carried through in secret. Moreover, between friends who are +well-disposed towards one another--” + +“Nevertheless--” + +Chichikov adopted a firmer and more decided tone. “I repeat that there +would be no scandal,” he said. “The transaction would take place as +between good friends, and as between friends of mature age, and as +between friends of good status, and as between friends who know how +to keep their own counsel.” And, so saying, he looked his interlocutor +frankly and generously in the eyes. + +Nevertheless Lienitsin’s resourcefulness and acumen in business matters +failed to relieve his mind of a certain perplexity--and the less so +since he had contrived to become caught in his own net. Yet, in general, +he possessed neither a love for nor a talent for underhand dealings, +and, had not fate and circumstances favoured Chichikov by causing +Lienitsin’s wife to enter the room at that moment, things might have +turned out very differently from what they did. Madame was a pale, thin, +insignificant-looking young lady, but none the less a lady who wore her +clothes a la St. Petersburg, and cultivated the society of persons who +were unimpeachably comme il faut. Behind her, borne in a nurse’s arms, +came the first fruits of the love of husband and wife. Adopting his +most telling method of approach (the method accompanied with a sidelong +inclination of the head and a sort of hop), Chichikov hastened to greet +the lady from the metropolis, and then the baby. At first the latter +started to bellow disapproval, but the words “Agoo, agoo, my pet!” added +to a little cracking of the fingers and a sight of a beautiful seal on a +watch chain, enabled Chichikov to weedle the infant into his arms; after +which he fell to swinging it up and down until he had contrived to raise +a smile on its face--a circumstance which greatly delighted the parents, +and finally inclined the father in his visitor’s favour. Suddenly, +however--whether from pleasure or from some other cause--the infant +misbehaved itself! + +“My God!” cried Madame. “He has gone and spoilt your frockcoat!” + +True enough, on glancing downwards, Chichikov saw that the sleeve of +his brand-new garment had indeed suffered a hurt. “If I could catch you +alone, you little devil,” he muttered to himself, “I’d shoot you!” + +Host, hostess and nurse all ran for eau-de-Cologne, and from three sides +set themselves to rub the spot affected. + +“Never mind, never mind; it is nothing,” said Chichikov as he strove to +communicate to his features as cheerful an expression as possible. +“What does it matter what a child may spoil during the golden age of its +infancy?” + +To himself he remarked: “The little brute! Would it could be devoured by +wolves. It has made only too good a shot, the cussed young ragamuffin!” + +How, after this--after the guest had shown such innocent affection for +the little one, and magnanimously paid for his so doing with a brand-new +suit--could the father remain obdurate? Nevertheless, to avoid setting a +bad example to the countryside, he and Chichikov agreed to carry through +the transaction PRIVATELY, lest, otherwise, a scandal should arise. + +“In return,” said Chichikov, “would you mind doing me the following +favour? I desire to mediate in the matter of your difference with the +Brothers Platonov. I believe that you wish to acquire some additional +land? Is not that so?” + + + [Here there occurs a hiatus in the original.] + + +Everything in life fulfils its function, and Chichikov’s tour in search +of a fortune was carried out so successfully that not a little money +passed into his pockets. The system employed was a good one: he did not +steal, he merely used. And every one of us at times does the same: one +man with regard to Government timber, and another with regard to a sum +belonging to his employer, while a third defrauds his children for the +sake of an actress, and a fourth robs his peasantry for the sake of +smart furniture or a carriage. What can one do when one is surrounded +on every side with roguery, and everywhere there are insanely expensive +restaurants, masked balls, and dances to the music of gipsy bands? To +abstain when every one else is indulging in these things, and fashion +commands, is difficult indeed! + +Chichikov was for setting forth again, but the roads had now got into a +bad state, and, in addition, there was in preparation a second fair--one +for the dvoriane only. The former fair had been held for the sale of +horses, cattle, cheese, and other peasant produce, and the buyers had +been merely cattle-jobbers and kulaks; but this time the function was +to be one for the sale of manorial produce which had been bought up by +wholesale dealers at Nizhni Novgorod, and then transferred hither. To +the fair, of course, came those ravishers of the Russian purse who, in +the shape of Frenchmen with pomades and Frenchwomen with hats, make away +with money earned by blood and hard work, and, like the locusts of Egypt +(to use Kostanzhoglo’s term) not only devour their prey, but also dig +holes in the ground and leave behind their eggs. + +Although, unfortunately, the occurrence of a bad harvest retained many +landowners at their country houses, the local tchinovniks (whom the +failure of the harvest did NOT touch) proceeded to let themselves go--as +also, to their undoing, did their wives. The reading of books of the +type diffused, in these modern days, for the inoculation of humanity +with a craving for new and superior amenities of life had caused every +one to conceive a passion for experimenting with the latest luxury; and +to meet this want the French wine merchant opened a new establishment +in the shape of a restaurant as had never before been heard of in the +province--a restaurant where supper could be procured on credit as +regarded one-half, and for an unprecedentedly low sum as regarded the +other. This exactly suited both heads of boards and clerks who were +living in hope of being able some day to resume their bribes-taking from +suitors. There also developed a tendency to compete in the matter of +horses and liveried flunkeys; with the result that despite the damp and +snowy weather exceedingly elegant turnouts took to parading backwards +and forwards. Whence these equipages had come God only knows, but at +least they would not have disgraced St. Petersburg. From within them +merchants and attorneys doffed their caps to ladies, and inquired after +their health, and likewise it became a rare sight to see a bearded man +in a rough fur cap, since every one now went about clean-shaven and with +dirty teeth, after the European fashion. + +“Sir, I beg of you to inspect my goods,” said a tradesman as Chichikov +was passing his establishment. “Within my doors you will find a large +variety of clothing.” + +“Have you a cloth of bilberry-coloured check?” inquired the person +addressed. + +“I have cloths of the finest kind,” replied the tradesman, raising his +cap with one hand, and pointing to his shop with the other. Chichikov +entered, and in a trice the proprietor had dived beneath the counter, +and appeared on the other side of it, with his back to his wares and his +face towards the customer. Leaning forward on the tips of his fingers, +and indicating his merchandise with just the suspicion of a nod, he +requested the gentleman to specify exactly the species of cloth which he +required. + +“A cloth with an olive-coloured or a bottle-tinted spot in its +pattern--anything in the nature of bilberry,” explained Chichikov. + +“That being so, sir, I may say that I am about to show you clothes of a +quality which even our illustrious capitals could not surpass. Hi, boy! +Reach down that roll up there--number 34. No, NOT that one, fool! Such +fellows as you are always too good for your job. There--hand it to me. +This is indeed a nice pattern!” + +Unfolding the garment, the tradesman thrust it close to Chichikov’s nose +in order that he might not only handle, but also smell it. + +“Excellent, but not what I want,” pronounced Chichikov. “Formerly I was +in the Custom’s Department, and therefore wear none but cloth of the +latest make. What I want is of a ruddier pattern than this--not exactly +a bottle-tinted pattern, but something approaching bilberry.” + +“I understand, sir. Of course you require only the very newest thing. A +cloth of that kind I DO possess, sir, and though excessive in price, it +is of a quality to match.” + +Carrying the roll of stuff to the light--even stepping into the street +for the purpose--the shopman unfolded his prize with the words, “A truly +beautiful shade! A cloth of smoked grey, shot with flame colour!” + +The material met with the customer’s approval, a price was agreed upon, +and with incredible celerity the vendor made up the purchase into a +brown-paper parcel, and stowed it away in Chichikov’s koliaska. + +At this moment a voice asked to be shown a black frockcoat. + +“The devil take me if it isn’t Khlobuev!” muttered our hero, turning his +back upon the newcomer. Unfortunately the other had seen him. + +“Come, come, Paul Ivanovitch!” he expostulated. “Surely you do not +intend to overlook me? I have been searching for you everywhere, for I +have something important to say to you.” + +“My dear sir, my very dear sir,” said Chichikov as he pressed Khlobuev’s +hand, “I can assure you that, had I the necessary leisure, I should +at all times be charmed to converse with you.” And mentally he added: +“Would that the Evil One would fly away with you!” + +Almost at the same time Murazov, the great landowner, entered the +shop. As he did so our hero hastened to exclaim: “Why, it is Athanasi +Vassilievitch! How ARE you, my very dear sir?” + +“Well enough,” replied Murazov, removing his cap (Khlobuev and the +shopman had already done the same). “How, may I ask, are YOU?” + +“But poorly,” replied Chichikov, “for of late I have been troubled with +indigestion, and my sleep is bad. I do not get sufficient exercise.” + +However, instead of probing deeper into the subject of Chichikov’s +ailments, Murazov turned to Khlobuev. + +“I saw you enter the shop,” he said, “and therefore followed you, for +I have something important for your ear. Could you spare me a minute or +two?” + +“Certainly, certainly,” said Khlobuev, and the pair left the shop +together. + +“I wonder what is afoot between them,” said Chichikov to himself. + +“A wise and noble gentleman, Athanasi Vassilievitch!” remarked the +tradesman. Chichikov made no reply save a gesture. + +“Paul Ivanovitch, I have been looking for you everywhere,” Lienitsin’s +voice said from behind him, while again the tradesman hastened to remove +his cap. “Pray come home with me, for I have something to say to you.” + +Chichikov scanned the speaker’s face, but could make nothing of it. +Paying the tradesman for the cloth, he left the shop. + +Meanwhile Murazov had conveyed Khlobuev to his rooms. + +“Tell me,” he said to his guest, “exactly how your affairs stand. I take +it that, after all, your aunt left you something?” + +“It would be difficult to say whether or not my affairs are improved,” + replied Khlobuev. “True, fifty souls and thirty thousand roubles came +to me from Madame Khanasarova, but I had to pay them away to satisfy my +debts. Consequently I am once more destitute. But the important point is +that there was trickery connected with the legacy, and shameful trickery +at that. Yes, though it may surprise you, it is a fact that that fellow +Chichikov--” + +“Yes, Semen Semenovitch, but, before you go on to speak of Chichikov, +pray tell me something about yourself, and how much, in your opinion, +would be sufficient to clear you of your difficulties?” + +“My difficulties are grievous,” replied Khlobuev. “To rid myself of +them, and also to have enough to go on with, I should need to acquire +at least a hundred thousand roubles, if not more. In short, things are +becoming impossible for me.” + +“And, had you the money, what should you do with it?” + +“I should rent a tenement, and devote myself to the education of my +children. Not a thought should I give to myself, for my career is over, +seeing that it is impossible for me to re-enter the Civil Service and I +am good for nothing else.” + +“Nevertheless, when a man is leading an idle life he is apt to incur +temptations which shun his better-employed brother.” + +“Yes, but beyond question I am good for nothing, so broken is my health, +and such a martyr I am to dyspepsia.” + +“But how do you propose to live without working? How can a man like you +exist without a post or a position of any kind? Look around you at the +works of God. Everything has its proper function, and pursues its proper +course. Even a stone can be used for one purpose or another. How, then, +can it be right for a man who is a thinking being to remain a drone?” + +“But I should not be a drone, for I should employ myself with the +education of my children.” + +“No, Semen Semenovitch--no: THAT you would find the hardest task of +all. For how can a man educate his children who has never even educated +himself? Instruction can be imparted to children only through the medium +of example; and would a life like yours furnish them with a profitable +example--a life which has been spent in idleness and the playing of +cards? No, Semen Semenovitch. You had far better hand your children over +to me. Otherwise they will be ruined. Do not think that I am jesting. +Idleness has wrecked your life, and you must flee from it. Can a man +live with nothing to keep him in place? Even a journeyman labourer who +earns the barest pittance may take an interest in his occupation.” + +“Athanasi Vassilievitch, I have tried to overcome myself, but what +further resource lies open to me? Can I who am old and incapable +re-enter the Civil Service and spend year after year at a desk with +youths who are just starting their careers? Moreover, I have lost the +trick of taking bribes; I should only hinder both myself and others; +while, as you know, it is a department which has an established caste +of its own. Therefore, though I have considered, and even attempted to +obtain, every conceivable post, I find myself incompetent for them all. +Only in a monastery should I--” + +“Nay, nay. Monasteries, again, are only for those who have worked. To +those who have spent their youth in dissipation such havens say what +the ant said to the dragonfly--namely, ‘Go you away, and return to your +dancing.’ Yes, even in a monastery do folk toil and toil--they do +not sit playing whist.” Murazov looked at Khlobuev, and added: “Semen +Semenovitch, you are deceiving both yourself and me.” + +Poor Khlobuev could not utter a word in reply, and Murazov began to feel +sorry for him. + +“Listen, Semen Semenovitch,” he went on. “I know that you say your +prayers, and that you go to church, and that you observe both Matins and +Vespers, and that, though averse to early rising, you leave your bed at +four o’clock in the morning before the household fires have been lit.” + +“Ah, Athanasi Vassilievitch,” said Khlobuev, “that is another matter +altogether. That I do, not for man’s sake, but for the sake of Him who +has ordered all things here on earth. Yes, I believe that He at least +can feel compassion for me, that He at least, though I be foul and +lowly, will pardon me and receive me when all men have cast me out, and +my best friend has betrayed me and boasted that he has done it for a +good end.” + +Khlobuev’s face was glowing with emotion, and from the older man’s eyes +also a tear had started. + +“You will do well to hearken unto Him who is merciful,” he said. “But +remember also that, in the eyes of the All-Merciful, honest toil is of +equal merit with a prayer. Therefore take unto yourself whatsoever task +you may, and do it as though you were doing it, not unto man, but unto +God. Even though to your lot there should fall but the cleaning of a +floor, clean that floor as though it were being cleaned for Him alone. +And thence at least this good you will reap: that there will remain to +you no time for what is evil--for card playing, for feasting, for all +the life of this gay world. Are you acquainted with Ivan Potapitch?” + +“Yes, not only am I acquainted with him, but I also greatly respect +him.” + +“Time was when Ivan Potapitch was a merchant worth half a million +roubles. In everything did he look but for gain, and his affairs +prospered exceedingly, so much so that he was able to send his son to be +educated in France, and to marry his daughter to a General. And whether +in his office or at the Exchange, he would stop any friend whom he +encountered and carry him off to a tavern to drink, and spend whole days +thus employed. But at last he became bankrupt, and God sent him other +misfortunes also. His son! Ah, well! Ivan Potapitch is now my steward, +for he had to begin life over again. Yet once more his affairs are in +order, and, had it been his wish, he could have restarted in business +with a capital of half a million roubles. ‘But no,’ he said. ‘A +steward am I, and a steward will I remain to the end; for, from being +full-stomached and heavy with dropsy, I have become strong and well.’ +Not a drop of liquor passes his lips, but only cabbage soup and gruel. +And he prays as none of the rest of us pray, and he helps the poor as +none of the rest of us help them; and to this he would add yet further +charity if his means permitted him to do so.” + +Poor Khlobuev remained silent, as before. + +The elder man took his two hands in his. + +“Semen Semenovitch,” he said, “you cannot think how much I pity you, or +how much I have had you in my thoughts. Listen to me. In the monastery +there is a recluse who never looks upon a human face. Of all men whom +I know he has the broadest mind, and he breaks not his silence save to +give advice. To him I went and said that I had a friend (though I +did not actually mention your name) who was in great trouble of soul. +Suddenly the recluse interrupted me with the words: ‘God’s work first, +and our own last. There is need for a church to be built, but no money +wherewith to build it. Money must be collected to that end.’ Then he +shut to the wicket. I wondered to myself what this could mean, and +concluded that the recluse had been unwilling to accord me his counsel. +Next I repaired to the Archimandrite, and had scarce reached his door +when he inquired of me whether I could commend to him a man meet to be +entrusted with the collection of alms for a church--a man who should +belong to the dvoriane or to the more lettered merchants, but who would +guard the trust as he would guard the salvation of his soul. On the +instant thought I to myself: ‘Why should not the Holy Father appoint +my friend Semen Semenovitch? For the way of suffering would benefit him +greatly; and as he passed with his ledger from landowner to peasant, +and from peasant to townsman, he would learn where folk dwell, and who +stands in need of aught, and thus would become better acquainted with +the countryside than folk who dwell in cities. And, thus become, he +would find that his services were always in demand.’ Only of late did +the Governor-General say to me that, could he but be furnished with the +name of a secretary who should know his work not only by the book but +also by experience, he would give him a great sum, since nothing is to +be learned by the former means, and, through it, much confusion arises.” + +“You confound me, you overwhelm me!” said Khlobuev, staring at his +companion in open-eyed astonishment. “I can scarcely believe that your +words are true, seeing that for such a trust an active, indefatigable +man would be necessary. Moreover, how could I leave my wife and children +unprovided for?” + +“Have no fear,” said Murazov, “I myself will take them under my care, as +well as procure for the children a tutor. Far better and nobler were +it for you to be travelling with a wallet, and asking alms on behalf +of God, then to be remaining here and asking alms for yourself alone. +Likewise, I will furnish you with a tilt-waggon, so that you may be +saved some of the hardships of the journey, and thus be preserved in +good health. Also, I will give you some money for the journey, in +order that, as you pass on your way, you may give to those who stand +in greater need than their fellows. Thus, if, before giving, you assure +yourself that the recipient of the alms is worthy of the same, you will +do much good; and as you travel you will become acquainted with all men +and sundry, and they will treat you, not as a tchinovnik to be feared, +but as one to whom, as a petitioner on behalf of the Church, they may +unloose their tongues without peril.” + +“I feel that the scheme is a splendid one, and would gladly bear my part +in it were it not likely to exceed my strength.” + +“What is there that does NOT exceed your strength?” said Murazov. +“Nothing is wholly proportionate to it--everything surpasses it. Help +from above is necessary: otherwise we are all powerless. Strength comes +of prayer, and of prayer alone. When a man crosses himself, and cries, +‘Lord, have mercy upon me!’ he soon stems the current and wins to the +shore. Nor need you take any prolonged thought concerning this matter. +All that you need do is to accept it as a commission sent of God. The +tilt-waggon can be prepared for you immediately; and then, as soon as +you have been to the Archimandrite for your book of accounts and his +blessing, you will be free to start on your journey.” + +“I submit myself to you, and accept the commission as a divine trust.” + +And even as Khlobuev spoke he felt renewed vigour and confidence arise +in his soul, and his mind begin to awake to a sense of hopefulness of +eventually being able to put to flight his troubles. And even as it was, +the world seemed to be growing dim to his eyes.... + +Meanwhile, plea after plea had been presented to the legal authorities, +and daily were relatives whom no one had before heard of putting in +an appearance. Yes, like vultures to a corpse did these good folk come +flocking to the immense property which Madam Khanasarov had left behind +her. Everywhere were heard rumours against Chichikov, rumours with +regard to the validity of the second will, rumours with regard to will +number one, and rumours of larceny and concealment of funds. Also, there +came to hand information with regard both to Chichikov’s purchase of +dead souls and to his conniving at contraband goods during his service +in the Customs Department. In short, every possible item of evidence +was exhumed, and the whole of his previous history investigated. How +the authorities had come to suspect and to ascertain all this God only +knows, but the fact remains that there had fallen into the hands of +those authorities information concerning matters of which Chichikov had +believed only himself and the four walls to be aware. True, for a +time these matters remained within the cognisance of none but the +functionaries concerned, and failed to reach Chichikov’s ears; but at +length a letter from a confidential friend gave him reason to think that +the fat was about to fall into the fire. Said the letter briefly: “Dear +sir, I beg to advise you that possibly legal trouble is pending, but +that you have no cause for uneasiness, seeing that everything will +be attended to by yours very truly.” Yet, in spite of its tenor, the +epistle reassured its recipient. “What a genius the fellow is!” thought +Chichikov to himself. Next, to complete his satisfaction, his tailor +arrived with the new suit which he had ordered. Not without a certain +sense of pride did our hero inspect the frockcoat of smoked grey shot +with flame colour and look at it from every point of view, and then +try on the breeches--the latter fitting him like a picture, and quite +concealing any deficiencies in the matter of his thighs and calves +(though, when buckled behind, they left his stomach projecting like a +drum). True, the customer remarked that there appeared to be a slight +tightness under the right armpit, but the smiling tailor only rejoined +that that would cause the waist to fit all the better. “Sir,” he said +triumphantly, “you may rest assured that the work has been executed +exactly as it ought to have been executed. No one, except in St. +Petersburg, could have done it better.” As a matter of fact, the tailor +himself hailed from St. Petersburg, but called himself on his signboard +“Foreign Costumier from London and Paris”--the truth being that by +the use of a double-barrelled flourish of cities superior to mere +“Karlsruhe” and “Copenhagen” he designed to acquire business and cut out +his local rivals. + +Chichikov graciously settled the man’s account, and, as soon as he had +gone, paraded at leisure, and con amore, and after the manner of an +artist of aesthetic taste, before the mirror. Somehow he seemed to look +better than ever in the suit, for his cheeks had now taken on a still +more interesting air, and his chin an added seductiveness, while his +white collar lent tone to his neck, the blue satin tie heightened the +effect of the collar, the fashionable dickey set off the tie, +the rich satin waistcoat emphasised the dickey, and the +smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour frockcoat, shining like silk, +splendidly rounded off the whole. When he turned to the right he looked +well: when he turned to the left he looked even better. In short, it +was a costume worthy of a Lord Chamberlain or the species of dandy who +shrinks from swearing in the Russian language, but amply relieves his +feelings in the language of France. Next, inclining his head slightly +to one side, our hero endeavoured to pose as though he were addressing +a middle-aged lady of exquisite refinement; and the result of these +efforts was a picture which any artist might have yearned to portray. +Next, his delight led him gracefully to execute a hop in ballet fashion, +so that the wardrobe trembled and a bottle of eau-de-Cologne came +crashing to the floor. Yet even this contretemps did not upset him; he +merely called the offending bottle a fool, and then debated whom first +he should visit in his attractive guise. + +Suddenly there resounded through the hall a clatter of spurred heels, +and then the voice of a gendarme saying: “You are commanded to present +yourself before the Governor-General!” Turning round, Chichikov stared +in horror at the spectacle presented; for in the doorway there was +standing an apparition wearing a huge moustache, a helmet surmounted +with a horsehair plume, a pair of crossed shoulder-belts, and a gigantic +sword! A whole army might have been combined into a single individual! +And when Chichikov opened his mouth to speak the apparition repeated, +“You are commanded to present yourself before the Governor-General,” + and at the same moment our hero caught sight both of a second apparition +outside the door and of a coach waiting beneath the window. What was +to be done? Nothing whatever was possible. Just as he stood--in his +smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour suit--he had then and there to enter +the vehicle, and, shaking in every limb, and with a gendarme seated by +his side, to start for the residence of the Governor-General. + +And even in the hall of that establishment no time was given him to +pull himself together, for at once an aide-de-camp said: “Go inside +immediately, for the Prince is awaiting you.” And as in a dream did our +hero see a vestibule where couriers were being handed dispatches, and +then a salon which he crossed with the thought, “I suppose I am not to +be allowed a trial, but shall be sent straight to Siberia!” And at the +thought his heart started beating in a manner which the most jealous +of lovers could not have rivalled. At length there opened a door, +and before him he saw a study full of portfolios, ledgers, and +dispatch-boxes, with, standing behind them, the gravely menacing figure +of the Prince. + +“There stands my executioner,” thought Chichikov to himself. “He is +about to tear me to pieces as a wolf tears a lamb.” + +Indeed, the Prince’s lips were simply quivering with rage. + +“Once before did I spare you,” he said, “and allow you to remain in the +town when you ought to have been in prison: yet your only return for +my clemency has been to revert to a career of fraud--and of fraud as +dishonourable as ever a man engaged in.” + +“To what dishonourable fraud do you refer, your Highness?” asked +Chichikov, trembling from head to foot. + +The Prince approached, and looked him straight in the eyes. + +“Let me tell you,” he said, “that the woman whom you induced to witness +a certain will has been arrested, and that you will be confronted with +her.” + +The world seemed suddenly to grow dim before Chichikov’s sight. + +“Your Highness,” he gasped, “I will tell you the whole truth, and +nothing but the truth. I am guilty--yes, I am guilty; but I am not so +guilty as you think, for I was led away by rascals.” + +“That any one can have led you away is impossible,” retorted the Prince. +“Recorded against your name there stand more felonies than even the most +hardened liar could have invented. I believe that never in your life +have you done a deed not innately dishonourable--that not a kopeck have +you ever obtained by aught but shameful methods of trickery and theft, +the penalty for which is Siberia and the knut. But enough of this! From +this room you will be conveyed to prison, where, with other rogues and +thieves, you will be confined until your trial may come on. And this +is lenient treatment on my part, for you are worse, far worse, than the +felons who will be your companions. THEY are but poor men in smocks and +sheepskins, whereas YOU--” Without concluding his words, the Prince shot +a glance at Chichikov’s smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour apparel. + +Then he touched a bell. + +“Your Highness,” cried Chichikov, “have mercy upon me! You are the +father of a family! Spare me for the sake of my aged mother!” + +“Rubbish!” exclaimed the Prince. “Even as before you besought me for the +sake of a wife and children whom you did not even possess, so now you +would speak to me of an aged mother!” + +“Your Highness,” protested Chichikov, “though I am a wretch and the +lowest of rascals, and though it is true that I lied when I told +you that I possessed a wife and children, I swear that, as God is my +witness, it has always been my DESIRE to possess a wife, and to fulfil +all the duties of a man and a citizen, and to earn the respect of my +fellows and the authorities. But what could be done against the force +of circumstances? By hook or by crook I have ever been forced to win +a living, though confronted at every step by wiles and temptations and +traitorous enemies and despoilers. So much has this been so that my +life has, throughout, resembled a barque tossed by tempestuous waves, +a barque driven at the mercy of the winds. Ah, I am only a man, your +Highness!” + +And in a moment the tears had gushed in torrents from his eyes, and he +had fallen forward at the Prince’s feet--fallen forward just as he +was, in his smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour frockcoat, his velvet +waistcoat, his satin tie, and his exquisitely fitting breeches, while +from his neatly brushed pate, as again and again he struck his hand +against his forehead, there came an odorous whiff of best-quality +eau-de-Cologne. + +“Away with him!” exclaimed the Prince to the gendarme who had just +entered. “Summon the escort to remove him.” + +“Your Highness!” Chichikov cried again as he clasped the Prince’s knees; +but, shuddering all over, and struggling to free himself, the Prince +repeated his order for the prisoner’s removal. + +“Your Highness, I say that I will not leave this room until you have +accorded me mercy!” cried Chichikov as he clung to the Prince’s leg with +such tenacity that, frockcoat and all, he began to be dragged along the +floor. + +“Away with him, I say!” once more the Prince exclaimed with the sort of +indefinable aversion which one feels at the sight of a repulsive +insect which he cannot summon up the courage to crush with his boot. So +convulsively did the Prince shudder that Chichikov, clinging to his leg, +received a kick on the nose. Yet still the prisoner retained his hold; +until at length a couple of burly gendarmes tore him away and, +grasping his arms, hurried him--pale, dishevelled, and in that strange, +half-conscious condition into which a man sinks when he sees before +him only the dark, terrible figure of death, the phantom which is so +abhorrent to all our natures--from the building. But on the threshold +the party came face to face with Murazov, and in Chichikov’s heart +the circumstance revived a ray of hope. Wresting himself with almost +supernatural strength from the grasp of the escorting gendarmes, he +threw himself at the feet of the horror-stricken old man. + +“Paul Ivanovitch,” Murazov exclaimed, “what has happened to you?” + +“Save me!” gasped Chichikov. “They are taking me away to prison and +death!” + +Yet almost as he spoke the gendarmes seized him again, and hurried him +away so swiftly that Murazov’s reply escaped his ears. + +A damp, mouldy cell which reeked of soldiers’ boots and leggings, an +unvarnished table, two sorry chairs, a window closed with a grating, a +crazy stove which, while letting the smoke emerge through its cracks, +gave out no heat--such was the den to which the man who had just begun +to taste the sweets of life, and to attract the attention of his fellows +with his new suit of smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour, now found +himself consigned. Not even necessaries had he been allowed to bring +away with him, nor his dispatch-box which contained all his booty. No, +with the indenture deeds of the dead souls, it was lodged in the hands +of a tchinovnik; and as he thought of these things Chichikov rolled +about the floor, and felt the cankerous worm of remorse seize upon and +gnaw at his heart, and bite its way ever further and further into that +heart so defenceless against its ravages, until he made up his mind +that, should he have to suffer another twenty-four hours of this misery, +there would no longer be a Chichikov in the world. Yet over him, as over +every one, there hung poised the All-Saving Hand; and, an hour after his +arrival at the prison, the doors of the gaol opened to admit Murazov. + +Compared with poor Chichikov’s sense of relief when the old man entered +his cell, even the pleasure experienced by a thirsty, dusty traveller +when he is given a drink of clear spring water to cool his dry, parched +throat fades into insignificance. + +“Ah, my deliverer!” he cried as he rose from the floor, where he had +been grovelling in heartrending paroxysms of grief. Seizing the old +man’s hand, he kissed it and pressed it to his bosom. Then, bursting +into tears, he added: “God Himself will reward you for having come to +visit an unfortunate wretch!” + +Murazov looked at him sorrowfully, and said no more than “Ah, Paul +Ivanovitch, Paul Ivanovitch! What has happened?” + +“What has happened?” cried Chichikov. “I have been ruined by an accursed +woman. That was because I could not do things in moderation--I was +powerless to stop myself in time, Satan tempted me, and drove me from +my senses, and bereft me of human prudence. Yes, truly I have sinned, I +have sinned! Yet how came I so to sin? To think that a dvorianin--yes, +a dvorianin--should be thrown into prison without process or trial! I +repeat, a dvorianin! Why was I not given time to go home and collect my +effects? Whereas now they are left with no one to look after them! My +dispatch-box, my dispatch-box! It contained my whole property, all that +my heart’s blood and years of toil and want have been needed to acquire. +And now everything will be stolen, Athanasi Vassilievitch--everything +will be taken from me! My God!” + +And, unable to stand against the torrent of grief which came rushing +over his heart once more, he sobbed aloud in tones which penetrated even +the thickness of the prison walls, and made dull echoes awake behind +them. Then, tearing off his satin tie, and seizing by the collar, the +smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour frockcoat, he stripped the latter +from his shoulders. + +“Ah, Paul Ivanovitch,” said the old man, “how even now the property +which you have acquired is blinding your eyes, and causing you to fail +to realise your terrible position!” + +“Yes, my good friend and benefactor,” wailed poor Chichikov +despairingly, and clasping Murazov by the knees. “Yet save me if you +can! The Prince is fond of you, and would do anything for your sake.” + +“No, Paul Ivanovitch; however much I might wish to save you, and however +much I might try to do so, I could not help you as you desire; for it is +to the power of an inexorable law, and not to the authority of any one +man, that you have rendered yourself subject.” + +“Satan tempted me, and has ended by making of me an outcast from the +human race!” Chichikov beat his head against the wall and struck the +table with his fist until the blood spurted from his hand. Yet neither +his head nor his hand seemed to be conscious of the least pain. + +“Calm yourself, Paul Ivanovitch,” said Murazov. “Calm yourself, and +consider how best you can make your peace with God. Think of your +miserable soul, and not of the judgment of man.” + +“I will, Athanasi Vassilievitch, I will. But what a fate is mine! Did +ever such a fate befall a man? To think of all the patience with which +I have gathered my kopecks, of all the toil and trouble which I have +endured! Yet what I have done has not been done with the intention of +robbing any one, nor of cheating the Treasury. Why, then, did I gather +those kopecks? I gathered them to the end that one day I might be able +to live in plenty, and also to have something to leave to the wife +and children whom, for the benefit and welfare of my country, I hoped +eventually to win and maintain. That was why I gathered those kopecks. +True, I worked by devious methods--that I fully admit; but what else +could I do? And even devious methods I employed only when I saw that the +straight road would not serve my purpose so well as a crooked. Moreover, +as I toiled, the appetite for those methods grew upon me. Yet what +I took I took only from the rich; whereas villains exist who, while +drawing thousands a year from the Treasury, despoil the poor, and take +from the man with nothing even that which he has. Is it not the cruelty +of fate, therefore, that, just when I was beginning to reap the harvest +of my toil--to touch it, so to speak, with the tip of one finger--there +should have arisen a sudden storm which has sent my barque to pieces on +a rock? My capital had nearly reached the sum of three hundred thousand +roubles, and a three-storied house was as good as mine, and twice over +I could have bought a country estate. Why, then, should such a tempest +have burst upon me? Why should I have sustained such a blow? Was not my +life already like a barque tossed to and fro by the billows? Where +is Heaven’s justice--where is the reward for all my patience, for my +boundless perseverance? Three times did I have to begin life afresh, and +each time that I lost my all I began with a single kopeck at a moment +when other men would have given themselves up to despair and drink. How +much did I not have to overcome. How much did I not have to bear! Every +kopeck which I gained I had to make with my whole strength; for though, +to others, wealth may come easily, every coin of mine had to be ‘forged +with a nail worth three kopecks’ as the proverb has it. With such a +nail--with the nail of an iron, unwearying perseverance--did _I_ forge +my kopecks.” + +Convulsively sobbing with a grief which he could not repress, Chichikov +sank upon a chair, tore from his shoulders the last ragged, trailing +remnants of his frockcoat, and hurled them from him. Then, thrusting his +fingers into the hair which he had once been so careful to preserve, he +pulled it out by handfuls at a time, as though he hoped through physical +pain to deaden the mental agony which he was suffering. + +Meanwhile Murazov sat gazing in silence at the unwonted spectacle of +a man who had lately been mincing with the gait of a worldling or a +military fop now writhing in dishevelment and despair as he poured out +upon the hostile forces by which human ingenuity so often finds itself +outwitted a flood of invective. + +“Paul Ivanovitch, Paul Ivanovitch,” at length said Murazov, “what +could not each of us rise to be did we but devote to good ends the same +measure of energy and of patience which we bestow upon unworthy objects! +How much good would not you yourself have effected! Yet I do not grieve +so much for the fact that you have sinned against your fellow as I +grieve for the fact that you have sinned against yourself and the rich +store of gifts and opportunities which has been committed to your care. +Though originally destined to rise, you have wandered from the path and +fallen.” + +“Ah, Athanasi Vassilievitch,” cried poor Chichikov, clasping his friend’s +hands, “I swear to you that, if you would but restore me my freedom, and +recover for me my lost property, I would lead a different life from this +time forth. Save me, you who alone can work my deliverance! Save me!” + +“How can I do that? So to do I should need to procure the setting aside +of a law. Again, even if I were to make the attempt, the Prince is a +strict administrator, and would refuse on any consideration to release +you.” + +“Yes, but for you all things are possible. It is not the law that +troubles me: with that I could find a means to deal. It is the fact that +for no offence at all I have been cast into prison, and treated like +a dog, and deprived of my papers and dispatch-box and all my property. +Save me if you can.” + +Again clasping the old man’s knees, he bedewed them with his tears. + +“Paul Ivanovitch,” said Murazov, shaking his head, “how that property +of yours still seals your eyes and ears, so that you cannot so much as +listen to the promptings of your own soul!” + +“Ah, I will think of my soul, too, if only you will save me.” + +“Paul Ivanovitch,” the old man began again, and then stopped. For a +little while there was a pause. + +“Paul Ivanovitch,” at length he went on, “to save you does not lie +within my power. Surely you yourself see that? But, so far as I can, +I will endeavour to, at all events, lighten your lot and procure your +eventual release. Whether or not I shall succeed I do not know; but I +will make the attempt. And should I, contrary to my expectations, prove +successful, I beg of you, in return for these my efforts, to renounce +all thought of benefit from the property which you have acquired. +Sincerely do I assure you that, were I myself to be deprived of my +property (and my property greatly exceeds yours in magnitude), I should +not shed a single tear. It is not the property of which men can deprive +us that matters, but the property of which no one on earth can deprive +or despoil us. You are a man who has seen something of life--to use +your own words, you have been a barque tossed hither and thither by +tempestuous waves: yet still will there be left to you a remnant of +substance on which to live, and therefore I beseech you to settle down +in some quiet nook where there is a church, and where none but plain, +good-hearted folk abide. Or, should you feel a yearning to leave behind +you posterity, take in marriage a good woman who shall bring you, +not money, but an aptitude for simple, modest domestic life. But +this life--the life of turmoil, with its longings and its +temptations--forget, and let it forget YOU; for there is no peace in +it. See for yourself how, at every step, it brings one but hatred and +treachery and deceit.” + +“Indeed, yes!” agreed the repentant Chichikov. “Gladly will I do as you +wish, since for many a day past have I been longing to amend my life, +and to engage in husbandry, and to reorder my affairs. A demon, the +tempter Satan himself, has beguiled me and led me from the right path.” + +Suddenly there had recurred to Chichikov long-unknown, long-unfamiliar +feelings. Something seemed to be striving to come to life again in +him--something dim and remote, something which had been crushed out of +his boyhood by the dreary, deadening education of his youthful days, by +his desolate home, by his subsequent lack of family ties, by the poverty +and niggardliness of his early impressions, by the grim eye of fate--an +eye which had always seemed to be regarding him as through a misty, +mournful, frost-encrusted window-pane, and to be mocking at his +struggles for freedom. And as these feelings came back to the penitent +a groan burst from his lips, and, covering his face with his hands, he +moaned: “It is all true, it is all true!” + +“Of little avail are knowledge of the world and experience of men unless +based upon a secure foundation,” observed Murazov. “Though you have +fallen, Paul Ivanovitch, awake to better things, for as yet there is +time.” + +“No, no!” groaned Chichikov in a voice which made Murazov’s heart bleed. +“It is too late, too late. More and more is the conviction gaining upon +me that I am powerless, that I have strayed too far ever to be able to +do as you bid me. The fact that I have become what I am is due to my +early schooling; for, though my father taught me moral lessons, and beat +me, and set me to copy maxims into a book, he himself stole land from +his neighbours, and forced me to help him. I have even known him to +bring an unjust suit, and defraud the orphan whose guardian he was! +Consequently I know and feel that, though my life has been different +from his, I do not hate roguery as I ought to hate it, and that my +nature is coarse, and that in me there is no real love for what is good, +no real spark of that beautiful instinct for well-doing which becomes +a second nature, a settled habit. Also, never do I yearn to strive for +what is right as I yearn to acquire property. This is no more than the +truth. What else could I do but confess it?” + +The old man sighed. + +“Paul Ivanovitch,” he said, “I know that you possess will-power, and +that you possess also perseverance. A medicine may be bitter, yet the +patient will gladly take it when assured that only by its means can he +recover. Therefore, if it really be that you have no genuine love for +doing good, do good by FORCING yourself to do so. Thus you will benefit +yourself even more than you will benefit him for whose sake the act +is performed. Only force yourself to do good just once and again, and, +behold, you will suddenly conceive the TRUE love for well-doing. That +is so, believe me. ‘A kingdom is to be won only by striving,’ says the +proverb. That is to say, things are to be attained only by putting forth +one’s whole strength, since nothing short of one’s whole strength will +bring one to the desired goal. Paul Ivanovitch, within you there is a +source of strength denied to many another man. I refer to the strength +of an iron perseverance. Cannot THAT help you to overcome? Most men are +weak and lack will-power, whereas I believe that you possess the power +to act a hero’s part.” + +Sinking deep into Chichikov’s heart, these words would seem to have +aroused in it a faint stirring of ambition, so much so that, if it was +not fortitude which shone in his eyes, at all events it was something +virile, and of much the same nature. + +“Athanasi Vassilievitch,” he said firmly, “if you will but petition +for my release, as well as for permission for me to leave here with a +portion of my property, I swear to you on my word of honour that I will +begin a new life, and buy a country estate, and become the head of a +household, and save money, not for myself, but for others, and do good +everywhere, and to the best of my ability, and forget alike myself and +the feasting and debauchery of town life, and lead, instead, a plain, +sober existence.” + +“In that resolve may God strengthen you!” cried the old man with +unbounded joy. “And I, for my part, will do my utmost to procure +your release. And though God alone knows whether my efforts will be +successful, at all events I hope to bring about a mitigation of your +sentence. Come, let me embrace you! How you have filled my heart with +gladness! With God’s help, I will now go to the Prince.” + +And the next moment Chichikov found himself alone. His whole nature felt +shaken and softened, even as, when the bellows have fanned the furnace +to a sufficient heat, a plate compounded even of the hardest and most +fire-resisting metal dissolves, glows, and turns to the liquefied state. + +“I myself can feel but little,” he reflected, “but I intend to use my +every faculty to help others to feel. I myself am but bad and worthless, +but I intend to do my utmost to set others on the right road. I myself +am but an indifferent Christian, but I intend to strive never to yield +to temptation, but to work hard, and to till my land with the sweat of +my brow, and to engage only in honourable pursuits, and to influence my +fellows in the same direction. For, after all, am I so very useless? +At least I could maintain a household, for I am frugal and active and +intelligent and steadfast. The only thing is to make up my mind to it.” + +Thus Chichikov pondered; and as he did so his half-awakened energies of +soul touched upon something. That is to say, dimly his instinct +divined that every man has a duty to perform, and that that duty may +be performed here, there, and everywhere, and no matter what the +circumstances and the emotions and the difficulties which compass a man +about. And with such clearness did Chichikov mentally picture to himself +the life of grateful toil which lies removed from the bustle of towns +and the temptations which man, forgetful of the obligation of labour, +has invented to beguile an hour of idleness that almost our hero forgot +his unpleasant position, and even felt ready to thank Providence for +the calamity which had befallen him, provided that it should end in his +being released, and in his receiving back a portion of his property. + +Presently the massive door of the cell opened to admit a tchinovnik +named Samosvitov, a robust, sensual individual who was reputed by his +comrades to be something of a rake. Had he served in the army, he +would have done wonders, for he would have stormed any point, however +dangerous and inaccessible, and captured cannon under the very noses +of the foe; but, as it was, the lack of a more warlike field for his +energies caused him to devote the latter principally to dissipation. +Nevertheless he enjoyed great popularity, for he was loyal to the point +that, once his word had been given, nothing would ever make him break +it. At the same time, some reason or another led him to regard his +superiors in the light of a hostile battery which, come what might, he +must breach at any weak or unguarded spot or gap which might be capable +of being utilised for the purpose. + +“We have all heard of your plight,” he began as soon as the door had +been safely closed behind him. “Yes, every one has heard of it. But +never mind. Things will yet come right. We will do our very best for +you, and act as your humble servants in everything. Thirty thousand +roubles is our price--no more.” + +“Indeed?” said Chichikov. “And, for that, shall I be completely +exonerated?” + +“Yes, completely, and also given some compensation for your loss of +time.” + +“And how much am I to pay in return, you say?” + +“Thirty thousand roubles, to be divided among ourselves, the +Governor-General’s staff, and the Governor-General’s secretary.” + +“But how is even that to be managed, for all my effects, including my +dispatch-box, will have been sealed up and taken away for examination?” + +“In an hour’s time they will be within your hands again,” said +Samosvitov. “Shall we shake hands over the bargain?” + +Chichikov did so with a beating heart, for he could scarcely believe his +ears. + +“For the present, then, farewell,” concluded Samosvitov. “I have +instructed a certain mutual friend that the important points are silence +and presence of mind.” + +“Hm!” thought Chichikov. “It is to my lawyer that he is referring.” + +Even when Samosvitov had departed the prisoner found it difficult to +credit all that had been said. Yet not an hour had elapsed before a +messenger arrived with his dispatch-box and the papers and money therein +practically undisturbed and intact! Later it came out that Samosvitov +had assumed complete authority in the matter. First, he had rebuked the +gendarmes guarding Chichikov’s effects for lack of vigilance, and then +sent word to the Superintendent that additional men were required for +the purpose; after which he had taken the dispatch-box into his own +charge, removed from it every paper which could possibly compromise +Chichikov, sealed up the rest in a packet, and ordered a gendarme to +convey the whole to their owner on the pretence of forwarding him sundry +garments necessary for the night. In the result Chichikov received not +only his papers, but also some warm clothing for his hypersensitive +limbs. Such a swift recovery of his treasures delighted him beyond +expression, and, gathering new hope, he began once more to dream of such +allurements as theatre-going and the ballet girl after whom he had for +some time past been dangling. Gradually did the country estate and the +simple life begin to recede into the distance: gradually did the town +house and the life of gaiety begin to loom larger and larger in the +foreground. Oh, life, life! + +Meanwhile in Government offices and chancellories there had been set +on foot a boundless volume of work. Clerical pens slaved, and brains +skilled in legal casus toiled; for each official had the artist’s liking +for the curved line in preference to the straight. And all the while, +like a hidden magician, Chichikov’s lawyer imparted driving power to +that machine which caught up a man into its mechanism before he could +even look round. And the complexity of it increased and increased, for +Samosvitov surpassed himself in importance and daring. On learning +of the place of confinement of the woman who had been arrested, he +presented himself at the doors, and passed so well for a smart young +officer of gendarmery that the sentry saluted and sprang to attention. + +“Have you been on duty long?” asked Samosvitov. + +“Since this morning, your Excellency.” + +“And shall you soon be relieved?” + +“In three hours from now, your Excellency.” + +“Presently I shall want you, so I will instruct your officer to have you +relieved at once.” + +“Very good, your Excellency.” + +Hastening home, thereafter, at top speed, and donning the uniform of +a gendarme, with a false moustache and a pair of false whiskers--an +ensemble in which the devil himself would not have known him, Samosvitov +then made for the gaol where Chichikov was confined, and, en route, +impressed into the service the first street woman whom he encountered, +and handed her over to the care of two young fellows of like sort +with himself. The next step was to hurry back to the prison where the +original woman had been interned, and there to intimate to the sentry +that he, Samosvitov (with whiskers and rifle complete), had been sent +to relieve the said sentry at his post--a proceeding which, of course, +enabled the newly-arrived relief to ensure, while performing his +self-assumed turn of duty, that for the woman lying under arrest there +should be substituted the woman recently recruited to the plot, and that +the former should then be conveyed to a place of concealment where she +was highly unlikely to be discovered. + +Meanwhile, Samosvitov’s feats in the military sphere were being rivalled +by the wonders worked by Chichikov’s lawyer in the civilian field of +action. As a first step, the lawyer caused it to be intimated to the +local Governor that the Public Prosecutor was engaged in drawing up a +report to his, the local Governor’s, detriment; whereafter the lawyer +caused it to be intimated also to the Chief of Gendarmery that a certain +confidential official was engaged in doing the same by HIM; whereafter, +again, the lawyer confided to the confidential official in question +that, owing to the documentary exertions of an official of a still +more confidential nature than the first, he (the confidential official +first-mentioned) was in a fair way to find himself in the same boat as +both the local Governor and the Chief of Gendarmery: with the result +that the whole trio were reduced to a frame of mind in which they were +only too glad to turn to him (Samosvitov) for advice. The ultimate and +farcical upshot was that report came crowding upon report, and that such +alleged doings were brought to light as the sun had never before beheld. +In fact, the documents in question employed anything and everything as +material, even to announcing that such and such an individual had an +illegitimate son, that such and such another kept a paid mistress, and +that such and such a third was troubled with a gadabout wife; whereby +there became interwoven with and welded into Chichikov’s past history +and the story of the dead souls such a crop of scandals and innuendoes +that by no manner of means could any mortal decide to which of these +rubbishy romances to award the palm, since all of them presented an equal +claim to that honour. Naturally, when, at length, the dossier reached +the Governor-General himself it simply flabbergasted the poor man; and +even the exceptionally clever and energetic secretary to whom he deputed +the making of an abstract of the same very nearly lost his reason with +the strain of attempting to lay hold of the tangled end of the skein. It +happened that just at that time the Prince had several other important +affairs on hand, and affairs of a very unpleasant nature. That is to +say, famine had made its appearance in one portion of the province, and +the tchinovniks sent to distribute food to the people had done their +work badly; in another portion of the province certain Raskolniki [51] +were in a state of ferment, owing to the spreading of a report than +an Antichrist had arisen who would not even let the dead rest, but was +purchasing them wholesale--wherefore the said Raskolniki were summoning +folk to prayer and repentance, and, under cover of capturing the +Antichrist in question, were bludgeoning non-Antichrists in batches; +lastly, the peasants of a third portion of the province had risen +against the local landowners and superintendents of police, for the +reason that certain rascals had started a rumour that the time was come +when the peasants themselves were to become landowners, and to wear +frockcoats, while the landowners in being were about to revert to the +peasant state, and to take their own wares to market; wherefore one of +the local volosts[52], oblivious of the fact that an order of things +of that kind would lead to a superfluity alike of landowners and +of superintendents of police, had refused to pay its taxes, and +necessitated recourse to forcible measures. Hence it was in a mood +of the greatest possible despondency that the poor Prince was sitting +plunged when word was brought to him that the old man who had gone bail +for Chichikov was waiting to see him. + +“Show him in,” said the Prince; and the old man entered. + +“A fine fellow your Chichikov!” began the Prince angrily. “You defended +him, and went bail for him, even though he had been up to business which +even the lowest thief would not have touched!” + +“Pardon me, your Highness; I do not understand to what you are +referring.” + +“I am referring to the matter of the fraudulent will. The fellow ought +to have been given a public flogging for it.” + +“Although to exculpate Chichikov is not my intention, might I ask +you whether you do not think the case is non-proven? At all events, +sufficient evidence against him is still lacking.” + +“What? We have as chief witness the woman who personated the deceased, +and I will have her interrogated in your presence.” + +Touching a bell, the Prince ordered her to be sent for. + +“It is a most disgraceful affair,” he went on; “and, ashamed though I am +to have to say it, some of our leading tchinovniks, including the local +Governor himself, have become implicated in the matter. Yet you tell me +that this Chichikov ought not to be confined among thieves and rascals!” + Clearly the Governor-General’s wrath was very great indeed. + +“Your Highness,” said Murazov, “the Governor of the town is one of the +heirs under the will: wherefore he has a certain right to intervene. +Also, the fact that extraneous persons have meddled in the matter is +only what is to be expected from human nature. A rich woman dies, and +no exact, regular disposition of her property is made. Hence there comes +flocking from every side a cloud of fortune hunters. What else could one +expect? Such is human nature.” + +“Yes, but why should such persons go and commit fraud?” asked the +Prince irritably. “I feel as though not a single honest tchinovnik were +available--as though every one of them were a rogue.” + +“Your Highness, which of us is altogether beyond reproach? The +tchinovniks of our town are human beings, and no more. Some of them are +men of worth, and nearly all of them men skilled in business--though +also, unfortunately, largely inter-related.” + +“Now, tell me this, Athanasi Vassilievitch,” said the Prince, “for you +are about the only honest man of my acquaintance. What has inspired in +you such a penchant for defending rascals?” + +“This,” replied Murazov. “Take any man you like of the persons whom you +thus term rascals. That man none the less remains a human being. That +being so, how can one refuse to defend him when all the time one +knows that half his errors have been committed through ignorance and +stupidity? Each of us commits faults with every step that we take; +each of us entails unhappiness upon others with every breath that we +draw--and that although we may have no evil intention whatever in our +minds. Your Highness himself has, before now, committed an injustice of +the gravest nature.” + +“_I_ have?” cried the Prince, taken aback by this unexpected turn given +to the conversation. + +Murazov remained silent for a moment, as though he were debating +something in his thoughts. Then he said: + +“Nevertheless it is as I say. You committed the injustice in the case of +the lad Dierpiennikov.” + +“What, Athanasi Vassilievitch? The fellow had infringed one of the +Fundamental Laws! He had been found guilty of treason!” + +“I am not seeking to justify him; I am only asking you whether you think +it right that an inexperienced youth who had been tempted and led away +by others should have received the same sentence as the man who +had taken the chief part in the affair. That is to say, although +Dierpiennikov and the man Voron-Drianni received an equal measure of +punishment, their CRIMINALITY was not equal.” + +“If,” exclaimed the Prince excitedly, “you know anything further +concerning the case, for God’s sake tell it me at once. Only the other +day did I forward a recommendation that St. Petersburg should remit a +portion of the sentence.” + +“Your Highness,” replied Murazov, “I do not mean that I know of +anything which does not lie also within your own cognisance, though one +circumstance there was which might have told in the lad’s favour had he +not refused to admit it, lest another should suffer injury. All that +I have in my mind is this. On that occasion were you not a little +over-hasty in coming to a conclusion? You will understand, of course, +that I am judging only according to my own poor lights, and for the +reason that on more than one occasion you have urged me to be frank. In +the days when I myself acted as a chief of gendarmery I came in contact +with a great number of accused--some of them bad, some of them good; and +in each case I found it well also to consider a man’s past career, for +the reason that, unless one views things calmly, instead of at once +decrying a man, he is apt to take alarm, and to make it impossible +thereafter to get any real confession from him. If, on the other hand, +you question a man as friend might question friend, the result will be +that straightway he will tell you everything, nor ask for mitigation of +his penalty, nor bear you the least malice, in that he will understand +that it is not you who have punished him, but the law.” + +The Prince relapsed into thought; until presently there entered a young +tchinovnik. Portfolio in hand, this official stood waiting respectfully. +Care and hard work had already imprinted their insignia upon his fresh +young face; for evidently he had not been in the Service for nothing. As +a matter of fact, his greatest joy was to labour at a tangled case, and +successfully to unravel it. + + + [At this point a long hiatus occurs in the original.] + + +“I will send corn to the localities where famine is worst,” said +Murazov, “for I understand that sort of work better than do the +tchinovniks, and will personally see to the needs of each person. Also, +if you will allow me, your Highness, I will go and have a talk with the +Raskolniki. They are more likely to listen to a plain man than to an +official. God knows whether I shall succeed in calming them, but at +least no tchinovnik could do so, for officials of the kind merely draw +up reports and lose their way among their own documents--with the result +that nothing comes of it. Nor will I accept from you any money for these +purposes, since I am ashamed to devote as much as a thought to my own +pocket at a time when men are dying of hunger. I have a large stock of +grain lying in my granaries; in addition to which, I have sent orders to +Siberia that a new consignment shall be forwarded me before the coming +summer.” + +“Of a surety will God reward you for your services, Athanasi +Vassilievitch! Not another word will I say to you on the subject, for +you yourself feel that any words from me would be inadequate. Yet tell +me one thing: I refer to the case of which you know. Have I the right to +pass over the case? Also, would it be just and honourable on my part to +let the offending tchinovniks go unpunished?” + +“Your Highness, it is impossible to return a definite answer to those +two questions: and the more so because many rascals are at heart men of +rectitude. Human problems are difficult things to solve. Sometimes a man +may be drawn into a vicious circle, so that, having once entered it, he +ceases to be himself.” + +“But what would the tchinovniks say if I allowed the case to be passed +over? Would not some of them turn up their noses at me, and declare +that they have effected my intimidation? Surely they would be the last +persons in the world to respect me for my action?” + +“Your Highness, I think this: that your best course would be to call +them together, and to inform them that you know everything, and to +explain to them your personal attitude (exactly as you have explained +it to me), and to end by at once requesting their advice and asking +them what each of them would have done had he been placed in similar +circumstances.” + +“What? You think that those tchinovniks would be so accessible to lofty +motives that they would cease thereafter to be venal and meticulous? I +should be laughed at for my pains.” + +“I think not, your Highness. Even the baser section of humanity +possesses a certain sense of equity. Your wisest plan, your Highness, +would be to conceal nothing and to speak to them as you have just spoken +to me. If, at present, they imagine you to be ambitious and proud +and unapproachable and self-assured, your action would afford them +an opportunity of seeing how the case really stands. Why should you +hesitate? You would but be exercising your undoubted right. Speak to +them as though delivering not a message of your own, but a message from +God.” + +“I will think it over,” the Prince said musingly, “and meanwhile I thank +you from my heart for your good advice.” + +“Also, I should order Chichikov to leave the town,” suggested Murazov. + +“Yes, I will do so. Tell him from me that he is to depart hence as +quickly as possible, and that the further he should remove himself, the +better it will be for him. Also, tell him that it is only owing to your +efforts that he has received a pardon at my hands.” + +Murazov bowed, and proceeded from the Prince’s presence to that of +Chichikov. He found the prisoner cheerfully enjoying a hearty dinner +which, under hot covers, had been brought him from an exceedingly +excellent kitchen. But almost the first words which he uttered showed +Murazov that the prisoner had been having dealings with the army of +bribe-takers; as also that in those transactions his lawyer had played +the principal part. + +“Listen, Paul Ivanovitch,” the old man said. “I bring you your freedom, +but only on this condition--that you depart out of the town forthwith. +Therefore gather together your effects, and waste not a moment, lest +worse befall you. Also, of all that a certain person has contrived to +do on your behalf I am aware; wherefore let me tell you, as between +ourselves, that should the conspiracy come to light, nothing on earth +can save him, and in his fall he will involve others rather then be left +unaccompanied in the lurch, and not see the guilt shared. How is it that +when I left you recently you were in a better frame of mind than you are +now? I beg of you not to trifle with the matter. Ah me! what boots that +wealth for which men dispute and cut one another’s throats? Do they +think that it is possible to prosper in this world without thinking of +the world to come? Believe me when I say that, until a man shall have +renounced all that leads humanity to contend without giving a thought to +the ordering of spiritual wealth, he will never set his temporal goods +either upon a satisfactory foundation. Yes, even as times of want and +scarcity may come upon nations, so may they come upon individuals. No +matter what may be said to the contrary, the body can never dispense +with the soul. Why, then, will you not try to walk in the right way, +and, by thinking no longer of dead souls, but only of your only living +one, regain, with God’s help, the better road? I too am leaving the town +to-morrow. Hasten, therefore, lest, bereft of my assistance, you meet +with some dire misfortune.” + +And the old man departed, leaving Chichikov plunged in thought. Once +more had the gravity of life begun to loom large before him. + +“Yes, Murazov was right,” he said to himself. “It is time that I were +moving.” + +Leaving the prison--a warder carrying his effects in his wake--he found +Selifan and Petrushka overjoyed at seeing their master once more at +liberty. + +“Well, good fellows?” he said kindly. “And now we must pack and be off.” + +“True, true, Paul Ivanovitch,” agreed Selifan. “And by this time the +roads will have become firmer, for much snow has fallen. Yes, high time +is it that we were clear of the town. So weary of it am I that the sight +of it hurts my eyes.” + +“Go to the coachbuilder’s,” commanded Chichikov, “and have +sledge-runners fitted to the koliaska.” + +Chichikov then made his way into the town--though not with the object of +paying farewell visits (in view of recent events, that might have given +rise to some awkwardness), but for the purpose of paying an unobtrusive +call at the shop where he had obtained the cloth for his latest +suit. There he now purchased four more arshins of the same +smoked-grey-shot-with-flame-colour material as he had had before, with +the intention of having it made up by the tailor who had fashioned the +previous costume; and by promising double remuneration he induced the +tailor in question so to hasten the cutting out of the garments that, +through sitting up all night over the work, the man might have the whole +ready by break of day. True, the goods were delivered a trifle after +the appointed hour, yet the following morning saw the coat and breeches +completed; and while the horses were being put to, Chichikov tried on +the clothes, and found them equal to the previous creation, even though +during the process he caught sight of a bald patch on his head, and was +led mournfully to reflect: “Alas! Why did I give way to such despair? +Surely I need not have torn my hair out so freely?” + +Then, when the tailor had been paid, our hero left the town. But no +longer was he the old Chichikov--he was only a ruin of what he had been, +and his frame of mind might have been compared to a building recently +pulled down to make room for a new one, while the new one had not yet +been erected owing to the non-receipt of the plans from the architect. +Murazov, too, had departed, but at an earlier hour, and in a tilt-waggon +with Ivan Potapitch. + +An hour later the Governor-General issued to all and sundry officials +a notice that, on the occasion of his departure for St. Petersburg, +he would be glad to see the corps of tchinovniks at a private meeting. +Accordingly all ranks and grades of officialdom repaired to his +residence, and there awaited--not without a certain measure of +trepidation and of searching of heart--the Governor-General’s entry. +When that took place he looked neither clear nor dull. Yet his bearing +was proud, and his step assured. The tchinovniks bowed--some of them to +the waist, and he answered their salutations with a slight inclination +of the head. Then he spoke as follows: + +“Since I am about to pay a visit to St. Petersburg, I have thought it +right to meet you, and to explain to you privately my reasons for doing +so. An affair of a most scandalous character has taken place in our +midst. To what affair I am referring I think most of those present will +guess. Now, an automatic process has led to that affair bringing about +the discovery of other matters. Those matters are no less dishonourable +than the primary one; and to that I regret to have to add that there +stand involved in them certain persons whom I had hitherto believed +to be honourable. Of the object aimed at by those who have complicated +matters to the point of making their resolution almost impossible by +ordinary methods I am aware; as also I am aware of the identity of the +ringleader, despite the skill with which he has sought to conceal his +share in the scandal. But the principal point is, that I propose to +decide these matters, not by formal documentary process, but by the +more summary process of court-martial, and that I hope, when the +circumstances have been laid before his Imperial Majesty, to receive +from him authority to adopt the course which I have mentioned. For I +conceive that when it has become impossible to resolve a case by civil +means, and some of the necessary documents have been burnt, and attempts +have been made (both through the adduction of an excess of false and +extraneous evidence and through the framing of fictitious reports) +to cloud an already sufficiently obscure investigation with an added +measure of complexity,--when all these circumstances have arisen, I +conceive that the only possible tribunal to deal with them is a military +tribunal. But on that point I should like your opinion.” + +The Prince paused for a moment or two, as though awaiting a reply; but +none came, seeing that every man had his eyes bent upon the floor, and +many of the audience had turned white in the face. + +“Then,” he went on, “I may say that I am aware also of a matter which +those who have carried it through believe to lie only within the +cognisance of themselves. The particulars of that matter will not be set +forth in documentary form, but only through process of myself acting as +plaintiff and petitioner, and producing none but ocular evidence.” + +Among the throng of tchinovniks some one gave a start, and thereby +caused others of the more apprehensive sort to fall to trembling in +their shoes. + +“Without saying does it go that the prime conspirators ought to undergo +deprivation of rank and property, and that the remainder ought to be +dismissed from their posts; for though that course would cause a certain +proportion of the innocent to suffer with the guilty, there would seem +to be no other course available, seeing that the affair is one of +the most disgraceful nature, and calls aloud for justice. Therefore, +although I know that to some my action will fail to serve as a lesson, +since it will lead to their succeeding to the posts of dismissed +officials, as well as that others hitherto considered honourable will +lose their reputation, and others entrusted with new responsibilities +will continue to cheat and betray their trust,--although all this is +known to me, I still have no choice but to satisfy the claims of justice +by proceeding to take stern measures. I am also aware that I shall be +accused of undue severity; but, lastly, I am aware that it is my duty to +put aside all personal feeling, and to act as the unconscious instrument +of that retribution which justice demands.” + +Over every face there passed a shudder. Yet the Prince had spoken calmly, +and not a trace of anger or any other kind of emotion had been visible +on his features. + +“Nevertheless,” he went on, “the very man in whose hands the fate of +so many now lies, the very man whom no prayer for mercy could ever have +influenced, himself desires to make a request of you. Should you grant +that request, all will be forgotten and blotted out and pardoned, for +I myself will intercede with the Throne on your behalf. That request is +this. I know that by no manner of means, by no preventive measures, and +by no penalties will dishonesty ever be completely extirpated from our +midst, for the reason that its roots have struck too deep, and that +the dishonourable traffic in bribes has become a necessity to, even the +mainstay of, some whose nature is not innately venal. Also, I know that, +to many men, it is an impossibility to swim against the stream. Yet now, +at this solemn and critical juncture, when the country is calling aloud +for saviours, and it is the duty of every citizen to contribute and to +sacrifice his all, I feel that I cannot but issue an appeal to every man +in whom a Russian heart and a spark of what we understand by the word +‘nobility’ exist. For, after all, which of us is more guilty than his +fellow? It may be to ME the greatest culpability should be assigned, in +that at first I may have adopted towards you too reserved an attitude, +that I may have been over-hasty in repelling those who desired but to +serve me, even though of their services I did not actually stand in +need. Yet, had they really loved justice and the good of their country, +I think that they would have been less prone to take offence at the +coldness of my attitude, but would have sacrificed their feelings and +their personality to their superior convictions. For hardly can it +be that I failed to note their overtures and the loftiness of their +motives, or that I would not have accepted any wise and useful advice +proffered. At the same time, it is for a subordinate to adapt himself to +the tone of his superior, rather than for a superior to adapt himself to +the tone of his subordinate. Such a course is at once more regular +and more smooth of working, since a corps of subordinates has but one +director, whereas a director may have a hundred subordinates. But let us +put aside the question of comparative culpability. The important point +is, that before us all lies the duty of rescuing our fatherland. Our +fatherland is suffering, not from the incursion of a score of alien +tongues, but from our own acts, in that, in addition to the lawful +administration, there has grown up a second administration possessed of +infinitely greater powers than the system established by law. And that +second administration has established its conditions, fixed its tariff +of prices, and published that tariff abroad; nor could any ruler, even +though the wisest of legislators and administrators, do more to correct +the evil than limit it in the conduct of his more venal tchinovniks by +setting over them, as their supervisors, men of superior rectitude. No, +until each of us shall come to feel that, just as arms were taken up +during the period of the upheaval of nations, so now each of us must +make a stand against dishonesty, all remedies will end in failure. As a +Russian, therefore--as one bound to you by consanguinity and identity of +blood--I make to you my appeal. I make it to those of you who understand +wherein lies nobility of thought. I invite those men to remember the +duty which confronts us, whatsoever our respective stations; I invite +them to observe more closely their duty, and to keep more constantly in +mind their obligations of holding true to their country, in that before +us the future looms dark, and that we can scarcely....” + + ***** + + [Here the manuscript of the original comes abruptly to an end.] + + + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 1: Essays on Russian Novelists. Macmillan.] + +[Footnote 2: Ideals and Realities in Russian Literature. Duckworth and +Co.] + +[Footnote 3: This is generally referred to in the Russian criticisms of +Gogol as a quotation from Jeremiah. It appears upon investigation, +however, that it actually occurs only in the Slavonic version from the +Greek, and not in the Russian translation made direct from the Hebrew.] + +[Footnote 4: An urn for brewing honey tea.] + +[Footnote 5: An urn for brewing ordinary tea.] + +[Footnote 6: A German dramatist (1761-1819) who also filled sundry posts +in the service of the Russian Government.] + +[Footnote 7: Priest’s wife.] + +[Footnote 8: In this case the term General refers to a civil grade +equivalent to the military rank of the same title.] + +[Footnote 9: An annual tax upon peasants, payment of which secured to +the payer the right of removal.] + +[Footnote 10: Cabbage soup.] + +[Footnote 11: Three horses harnessed abreast.] + +[Footnote 12: A member of the gentry class.] + +[Footnote 13: Pieces equal in value to twenty-five kopecks (a quarter of +a rouble).] + +[Footnote 14: A Russian general who, in 1812, stoutly opposed Napoleon +at the battle of Borodino.] + +[Footnote 15: The late eighteenth century.] + +[Footnote 16: Forty Russian pounds.] + +[Footnote 17: To serve as blotting-paper.] + +[Footnote 18: A liquor distilled from fermented bread crusts or sour +fruit.] + +[Footnote 19: That is to say, a distinctively Russian name.] + +[Footnote 20: A jeering appellation which owes its origin to the fact +that certain Russians cherish a prejudice against the initial character +of the word--namely, the Greek theta, or TH.] + +[Footnote 21: The great Russian general who, after winning fame in the +Seven Years’ War, met with disaster when attempting to assist the +Austrians against the French in 1799.] + +[Footnote 22: A kind of large gnat.] + +[Footnote 23: A copper coin worth five kopecks.] + +[Footnote 24: A Russian general who fought against Napoleon, and was +mortally wounded at Borodino.] + +[Footnote 25: Literally, “nursemaid.”] + +[Footnote 26: Village factor or usurer.] + +[Footnote 27: Subordinate government officials.] + +[Footnote 28: Nevertheless Chichikov would appear to have erred, since +most people would make the sum amount to twenty-three roubles, forty +kopecks. If so, Chichikov cheated himself of one rouble, fifty-six +kopecks.] + +[Footnote 29: The names Kariakin and Volokita might, perhaps, be +translated as “Gallant” and “Loafer.”] + +[Footnote 30: Tradesman or citizen.] + +[Footnote 31: The game of knucklebones.] + +[Footnote 32: A sort of low, four-wheeled carriage.] + +[Footnote 33: The system by which, in annual rotation, two-thirds of a +given area are cultivated, while the remaining third is left fallow.] + +[Footnote 34: Public Prosecutor.] + +[Footnote 35: To reproduce this story with a raciness worthy of the +Russian original is practically impossible. The translator has not +attempted the task.] + +[Footnote 36: One of the mistresses of Louis XIV. of France. In 1680 she +wrote a book called Reflexions sur la Misericorde de Dieu, par une Dame +Penitente.] + +[Footnote 37: Four-wheeled open carriage.] + +[Footnote 38: Silver five kopeck piece.] + +[Footnote 39: A silver quarter rouble.] + +[Footnote 40: In the days of serfdom, the rate of forced labour--so many +hours or so many days per week--which the serf had to perform for his +proprietor.] + +[Footnote 41: The Elder.] + +[Footnote 42: The Younger.] + +[Footnote 43: Secondary School.] + +[Footnote 44: The desiatin = 2.86 English acres.] + +[Footnote 45: “One more makes five.”] + +[Footnote 46: Dried spinal marrow of the sturgeon.] + +[Footnote 47: Long, belted Tartar blouses.] + +[Footnote 48: Village commune.] + +[Footnote 49: Landowner.] + +[Footnote 50: Here, in the original, a word is missing.] + +[Footnote 51: Dissenters or Old Believers: i.e. members of the sect +which refused to accept the revised version of the Church Service Books +promulgated by the Patriarch Nikon in 1665.] + +[Footnote 52: Fiscal districts.] + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1081 *** |