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diff --git a/10797-0.txt b/10797-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3af0519 --- /dev/null +++ b/10797-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9125 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10797 *** + +THE + +WITS AND BEAUX OF SOCIETY + + +BY + +GRACE AND PHILIP WHARTON + + +EDITED + +BY + +JUSTIN HUNTLY MCCARTHY, M. P. + + +_And the original illustrations by_ + +H. K. BROWNE AND JAMES GODWIN + + +TWO VOLS.--VOL. II. + + +1890 + + + +CONTENTS VOL. II. + + +HORACE WALPOLE. + +The Commoners of England.--Horace's Regret for the Death of his Mother.-- +Little Horace in Arlington Street.--Introduced to George I.-- +Characteristic Anecdote of George I.--Walpole's Education.--Schoolboy +Days.-- Boyish Friendships.--Companionship of Gray.--A Dreary Doom.-- +Walpole's Description of Youthful Delights.--Anecdote of Pope and +Frederic of Wales.--The Pomfrets.--Sir Thomas Robinson's Ball.--An +Admirable Scene.--Political Squibs.--Sir Robert's Retirement from +Office.--The Splendid Mansion of Houghton.--Sir Robert's Love of +Gardening.--What we owe to the 'Grandes Tours.'--George Vertue.--Men of +One Idea.--The Noble Picture-gallery at Houghton.--The 'Market Pieces.'-- +Sir Robert's Death.--The Granville Faction.--A very good Quarrel.-- +Twickenham.-- Strawberry Hill.--The Recluse of Strawberry.--Portraits of +the Digby Family.--Sacrilege.--Mrs. Darner's Models.--The Long Gallery at +Strawberry.-- The Chapel.--'A Dirty Little Thing.'--The Society around +Strawberry Hill.--Anne Seymour Conway.--A Man who never Doubted.--Lady +Sophia Fermer's Marriage.--Horace in Favour.--Anecdote of Sir William +Stanhope.--A Paper House.--Walpole's Habits.--Why did he not Marry?-- +'Dowagers as Plenty as Flounders.'--Catherine Hyde, Duchess of +Queensberry.--Anecdote of Lady Granville.--Kitty Clive.--Death of Horatio +Walpole.--George, third Earl of Orford.--A Visit to Houghton.--Family +Misfortunes.--Poor Chatterton.--Walpole's Concern with Chatterton.-- +Walpole in Paris.--Anecdote of Madame Geoffrin.--'Who's that Mr. +Walpole?'-- The Miss Berrys.--Horace's two 'Straw Berries.'--Tapping a +New Reign.--The Sign of the Gothic Castle.--Growing Old with Dignity.-- +Succession to an Earldom.--Walpole's Last Hours.--Let us not be +Ungrateful. + + +GEORGE SELWYN. + +A Love of Horrors.--Anecdotes of Selwyn's Mother.--Selwyn's College +Days.--Orator Henley.--Selwyn's Blasphemous Freak.--The Profession of a +Wit.--The Thirst for Hazard.--Reynolds's Conversation-Piece.--Selwyn's +Eccentricities and Witticisms.--A most Important Communication.--An +Amateur Headsman.--The Eloquence of Indifference.--Catching a +Housebreaker.--The Family of the Selwyns.--The Man of the People.-- +Selwyn's Parliamentary Career.--True Wit.--Some of Selwyn's Witty +Sayings.--The Sovereignty of the People.--On two kinds of Wit.--Selwyn's +Home for Children.--Mie-Mie, the Little Italian.--Selwyn's Little +Companion taken from him.--His Later Days and Death. + + +RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN. + +Sheridan a Dunce.--Boyish Dreams of Literary Fame.--Sheridan in Love.--A +Nest of Nightingales.--The 'Maid of Bath.'--Captivated by Genius.-- +Sheridan's Elopement with 'Cecilia.'--His Duel with Captain Matthews.-- +Standards of Ridicule.--Painful Family Estrangements.--Enters Drury +Lane.--Success of the Famous 'School for Scandal.'--Opinions of Sheridan +and his Influence.--The Literary Club.--Anecdote of Garrick's +Admittance.--Origin of the 'Rejected Addresses.'--New Flights.--Political +Ambition.--The Gaming Mania.--Almacks'.--Brookes'.--Black-balled.--Two +Versions of the Election Trick.--St. Stephen's Won.--Vocal Difficulties.-- +Leads a Double Life.--Pitt's Vulgar Attack.--Sheridan's Happy Retort-- +Grattan's Quip.--Sheridan's Sallies.--The Trial of Warren Hastings.-- +Wonderful Effect of Sheridan's Eloquence.--The Supreme Effort.--The +Star Culminates.--Native Taste for Swindling.--A Shrewd but Graceless +Oxonian.--Duns Outwitted.--The Lawyer Jockeyed.--Adventures with +Bailiffs.--Sheridan's Powers of Persuasion.--House of Commons Greek.-- +Curious Mimicry.--The Royal Boon Company.--Street Frolics at Night.-- +An Old Tale.--'All's well that ends well.'--The Fray in St. Giles'.-- +Unopened Letters.--An Odd Incident.--Reckless Extravagance,--Sporting +Ambition.--Like Father like Son.--A Severe and Witty Rebuke.-- +Intemperance.--Convivial Excesses of a Past Day.--Worth wins at last.-- +Bitter Pangs.--The Scythe of Death.--Sheridan's Second Wife.--Debts of +Honour.--Drury Lane Burnt.--The Owner's Serenity.--Misfortunes never come +Singly.--The Whitbread Quarrel.--Ruined.--Undone and almost Forsaken.-- +The Dead Man Arrested.--The Stories fixed on Sheridan.--Extempore Wit and +Inveterate Talkers. + + +BEAU BRUMMELL. + +Two popular Sciences.--'Buck Brummell' at Eton.--Investing his Capital.-- +Young Cornet Brummell.--The Beau's Studio.--The Toilet.--'Creasing +Down.'--Devotion to Dress.--A Great Gentleman.--Anecdotes of Brummell.-- +'Don't forget, Brum: Goose at Four'--Offers of Intimacy resented.-- +Never in love.--Brummell out Hunting.--Anecdote of Sheridan and +Brummell.--The Beau's Poetical Efforts.--The Value of a Crooked +Sixpence.--The Breach with the Prince of Wales.--'Who's your Fat +Friend?'--The Climax is reached.--The Black-mail of Calais.--George the +Greater and George the Less.--An Extraordinary Step.--Down the Hill of +Life.--A Miserable Old Age.--In the Hospice Du Bon Sauveur.--O Young Men +of this Age, be warned! + + +THEODORE EDWARD HOOK. + +The Greatest of Modern Wits.--What Coleridge said of Hook.--Hook's +Family.--Redeeming Points.--Versatility.--Varieties of Hoaxing.--The +Black-wafered Horse.--The Berners Street Hoax.--Success of the Scheme.-- +The Strop of Hunger.--Kitchen Examinations.--The Wrong House.--Angling +for an Invitation.--The Hackney-coach Device.--The Plots of Hook and +Mathews.--Hook's Talents as an Improvisatore.--The Gift becomes his +Bane.--Hook's Novels.--College Fun.--Baiting a Proctor.--The Punning +Faculty.--Official Life Opens.--Troublesome Pleasantry.--Charge of +Embezzlement.--Misfortune.--Doubly Disgraced.--No Effort to remove the +Stain.--Attacks on the Queen.--An Incongruous Mixture.--Specimen of +the Ramsbottom Letters.--Hook's Scurrility.---Fortune and Popularity.-- +The End. + + +SYDNEY SMITH. + +The 'Wise Wit.'--Oddities of the Father.--Verse-making at Winchester.-- +Curate Life on Salisbury Plain.--Old Edinburgh.--Its Social and +Architectural Features.--Making Love Metaphysically.--The Old Scottish +Supper.--The Men of Mark passing away.--The Band of Young Spirits.-- +Brougham's Early Tenacity.--Fitting up Conversations.--'Old School' +Ceremonies.--The Speculative Society.--A Brilliant Set.--Sydney's Opinion +of his Friends.--Holland House.--Preacher at the 'Foundling.'--Sydney's +'Grammar of Life.'--The Picture Mania.--A Living Comes at Last.--The +Wit's Ministry.--The Parsonage House at Foston-le-Clay.--Country Quiet.-- +The Universal Scratcher.--Country Life and Country Prejudice.--The +Genial Magistrate.--Glimpse of Edinburgh Society.--Mrs. Grant of Laggan.-- +A Pension Difficulty.--Jeffrey and Cockburn.--Craigcrook.--Sydney +Smith's Cheerfulness.--His Rheumatic Armour.--No Bishopric.--Becomes +Canon of St. Paul's.--Anecdotes of Lord Dudley.--A Sharp Reproof.-- +Sydney's Classification of Society.--Last Strokes of Humour. + + +GEORGE BUBB DODINGTON, LORD MELCOMBE. + +A Dinner-giving lordly Poet.--A Misfortune for a Man of Society.-- +Brandenburgh House.--'The Diversions of the Morning.'--Johnson's Opinion +of Foote.--Churchill and 'The Rosciad.'--Personal Ridicule in its Proper +Light.--Wild Specimen of the Poet.--Walpole on Dodington's 'Diary.'-- +The best Commentary on a Man's Life.--Leicester House.--Grace Boyle.-- +Elegant Modes of passing Time.--A sad Day.--What does Dodington come +here for?--The Veteran Wit, Beau, and Politician.--'Defend us from our +Executors and Editors.' + + + +SUBJECTS OF THE ILLUSTRATIONS + + +Volume II. + +"WHO'S YOUR FAT FRIEND?" + +STRAWBERRY HILL FROM THE THAMES + +SELWYN ACKNOWLEDGES "THE SOVEREIGNTY OF THE PEOPLE" + +THE FAMOUS "LITERARY CLUB" + +A TREASURE FOR A LADY--SHERIDAN AND THE LAWYER + +THEODORE HOOK'S ENGINEERING FROLIC + +SYDNEY SMITH'S WITTY ANSWER TO THE OLD PARISH CLERK + + + +HORACE WALPOLE. + + +The Commoners of England.--Horace's Regret for the Death of his Mother.-- +'Little Horace' in Arlington Street.--Introduced to George I.-- +Characteristic Anecdote of George I.--Walpole's Education.--Schoolboy +Days.--Boyish Friendships.--Companionship of Gray.--A Dreary Doom.-- +Walpole's Description of Youthful Delights.--Anecdote of Pope and +Frederic of Wales.--The Pomfrets.--Sir Thomas Robinson's Ball.--An +Admirable Scene.--Political Squibs.--Sir Robert's Retirement from +Office.--The Splendid Mansion of Houghton.--Sir Robert's Love of +Gardening.--What we owe to the 'Grandes Tours.'--George Vertue.--Men of +One Idea.--The Noble Picture-gallery at Houghton.--The 'Market Pieces.'-- +Sir Robert's Death.--The Granville Faction.--A very good Quarrel.-- +Twickenham.--Strawberry Hill.--The Recluse of Strawberry.--Portraits of +the Digby Family.--Sacrilege.--Mrs. Darner's Models.--The Long Gallery at +Strawberry.--The Chapel.--'A Dirty Little Thing.'--The Society around +Strawberry Hill.--Anne Seymour Conway.--A Man who never Doubted.--Lady +Sophia Fermor's Marriage.--Horace in Favour.--Anecdote of Sir William +Stanhope.--A Paper House.--Walpole's Habits.--Why did he not Marry?-- +'Dowagers as Plenty as Flounders.'--Catherine Hyde, Duchess of +Queensberry.--Anecdote of Lady Granville.--Kitty Clive.--Death of Horatio +Walpole.--George, third Earl of Orford.--A Visit to Houghton.--Family +Misfortunes.--Poor Chatterton.--Walpole's Concern with Chatterton.-- +Walpole in Paris.--Anecdote of Madame Geoffrin.--'Who's that Mr. +Walpole?'--The Miss Berrys.--Horace's two 'Straw Berries.'--Tapping a New +Reign.--The Sign of the Gothic Castle.--Growing Old with Dignity.-- +Succession to an Earldom.--Walpole's Last Hours.--Let us not be +Ungrateful. + + +Had this elegant writer, remarks the compiler of 'Walpoliana,' composed +memoirs of his own life, an example authorized by eminent names, ancient +and modern, every other pen must have been dropped in despair, so true +was it that 'he united the good sense of Fontenelle with the Attic salt +and graces of Count Anthony Hamilton.' + +But 'Horace' was a man of great literary modesty, and always undervalued +his own efforts. His life was one of little incident: it is his +character, his mind, the society around him, the period in which he +shone, that give the charm to his correspondence, and the interest to +his biography. + +Besides, he had the weakness common to several other fine gentlemen who +have combined letters and _haut ton_, of being ashamed of the literary +character. The vulgarity of the court, its indifference to all that was +not party writing, whether polemical or political, cast a shade over +authors in his time. + +Never was there, beneath all his assumed Whig principles, a more +profound aristocrat than Horace Walpole. He was, by birth, one of those +well-descended English gentlemen who have often scorned the title of +noble, and who have repudiated the notion of merging their own ancient +names in modern titles. The commoners of England hold a proud +pre-eminence. When some low-born man entreated James I. to make him a +gentleman, the well-known answer was, 'Na, na, I canna! I could mak thee +a lord, but none but God Almighty can mak a gentleman.' + +Sir Robert Walpole, afterwards minister to George II., and eventually +Lord Orford, belonged to an ancient family in Norfolk; he was a third +son, and was originally destined for the Church, but the death of his +elder brethren having left him heir to the family estate, in 1698, he +succeeded to a property which ought to have yielded him £2,000 a year, +but which was crippled with various encumbrances. In order to relieve +himself of these, Sir Robert married Catherine Shorter, the +granddaughter of Sir John Shorter, who had been illegally and +arbitrarily appointed Lord Mayor of London by James II. + +Horace was her youngest child, and was born in Arlington Street, on the +24th of September, 1717, O.S. Six years afterwards he was inoculated for +the small-pox, a precaution which he records as worthy of remark, since +the operation had then only recently been introduced by Lady Mary +Wortley Montagu from Turkey. + +He is silent, however, naturally enough, as to one important point--his +real parentage. The character of his mother was by no means such as to +disprove an assertion which gained general belief: this was, that Horace +was the offspring, not of Sir Robert Walpole, but of Carr, Lord Hervey, +the eldest son of the Earl of Bristol, and the elder brother of Lord +Hervey, whose 'Memoirs of the Court of George II.' are so generally +known. + +Carr, Lord Hervey, was witty, eccentric, and sarcastic: and from him +Horace Walpole is said to have inherited his wit, his eccentricity, his +love of literature, and his profound contempt for all mankind, excepting +only a few members of a cherished and exclusive _clique_. + +In the Notes of his life which Horace Walpole left for the use of his +executor, Robert Berry, Esq., and of his daughter, Miss Berry, he makes +this brief mention of Lady Walpole:--'My mother died in 1737.' He was +then twenty years of age. + +But beneath this seemingly slight recurrence to his mother, a regret +which never left him through life was buried. Like Cowper, he mourned, +as the profoundest of all sorrows, the loss of that life-long friend. + + 'My mother, when I learn'd that thou wast dead, + Say, wast thou conscious of the tears I shed? + Hovered thy spirit o'er thy sorrowing son? + Wretch even then, life's journey just begun.' + +Although Horace in many points bore a strong resemblance to Sir Robert +Walpole, he rarely if ever received from that jovial, heartless, able +man, any proof of affection. An outcast from his father's heart, the +whole force of the boy's love centred in his mother; yet in after-life +no one reverenced Sir Robert Walpole so much as his supposed son. To be +adverse to the minister was to be adverse to the unloved son who +cherished his memory. What 'my father' thought, did, and said, was law; +what his foes dared to express was heresy. Horace had the family mania +strong upon him; the world was made for Walpoles, whose views were never +to be controverted, nor whose faith impugned. Yet Horace must have +witnessed, perhaps with out comprehending it, much disunion at home. +Lady Walpole. beautiful and accomplished, could not succeed in riveting +her husband to his conjugal duties. Gross licentiousness was the order +of the day, and Sir Robert was among the most licentious; he left his +lovely wife to the perilous attentions of all the young courtiers who +fancied that by courting the Premier's wife they could secure Walpole's +good offices. Sir Robert, according to Pope, was one of those who-- + + 'Never made a friend in private life, + And was, besides, a tyrant to his wife. + +At all events, if not a tyrant, he was indifferent to those +circumstances which reflected upon him, and were injurious to her. He +was conscious that he had no right to complain of any infidelity on her +part, and he left her to be surrounded by men whom he knew to be +profligates of the most dangerous pretensions to wit and elegance. + +It was possibly not unfrequently that Horace, his mother's pet, gleaned +in the drawing-rooms of Arlington Street his first notions of that +_persiflage_ which was the fashion of the day. We. can fancy him a +precocious, old-fashioned little boy, at his mother's apron-string, +whilst Carr, Lord Hervey, was paying his devoirs; we see him gazing with +wondering eyes at Pulteney, Earl of Bath, with his blue ribbon across +his laced coat; whilst compassionating friends observing the pale-faced +boy in that hot-house atmosphere, in which both mind and body were like +forced plants, prophesied that 'little Horace' could not possibly live +to be a man. + +He survived, however, two sisters, who died in childhood, and became +dearer and dearer to his fond mother. + +In his old age, Horace delighted in recalling anecdotes of his infancy; +in these his mother's partiality largely figured. Brought up among +courtiers and ministers, his childish talk was all of kings and princes; +and he was a gossip both by inclination and habit. His greatest desire +in life was to see the king--George I., and his nurses and attendants +augmented his wish by their exalted descriptions of the grandeur which +he effected, in after-life, to despise. He entreated his mother to take +him to St. James's. When relating the incidents of the scene in which he +was first introduced to a court, Horace Walpole speaks of the 'infinite +good-nature of his father, who never thwarted any of his children,' and +'suffered him,' he says, 'to be too much indulged.' + +Some difficulties attended the fruition of the forward boy's wish. The +Duchess of Kendal was jealous of Sir Robert Walpole's influence with the +king: her aim was to bring Lord Bolingbroke into power. The childish +fancy was, nevertheless, gratified: and under his mother's care he was +conducted to the apartments of the Duchess of Kendal in St. James's. + +'A favour so unusual to be asked by a boy of ten years old,' he +afterwards wrote in his 'Reminiscences,' 'was still too slight to be +refused to the wife of the first minister and her darling child.' +However, as it was not to be a precedent, the interview was to be +private, and at night. + +It was ten o'clock in the evening when Lady Walpole, leading her son, +was admitted into the apartments of Melusina de Schulenberg, Countess of +Walsingham, who passed under the name of the Duchess of Kendal's niece, +but who was, in fact, her daughter, by George I. The polluted rooms in +which Lady Walsingham lived were afterwards occupied by the two +mistresses of George II.--the Countess of Suffolk, and Madame de +Walmoden, Countess of Yarmouth. + +With Lady Walsingham, Lady Walpole and her little son waited until, +notice having been given that the king had come down to supper, he was +led into the presence of 'that good sort of man,' as he calls George I. +That monarch was pleased to permit the young courtier to kneel down and +kiss his hand. A few words were spoken by the august personage, and +Horace was led back into the adjoining room. + +But the vision of that 'good sort of man' was present to him when, in +old age, he wrote down his recollections for his beloved Miss Berry. By +the side of a tall, lean, ill-favoured old German lady--the Duchess of +Kendal--stood a pale, short, elderly man, with a dark tie-wig, in a +plain coat and waistcoat: these and his breeches were all of +snuff-coloured cloth, and his stockings of the same colour. By the blue +riband alone could the young subject of this 'good sort of man' discern +that he was in the presence of majesty. Little interest could be +elicited in this brief interview, yet Horace thought it his painful +duty, being also the son of a prime minister, to shed tears when, with +the other scholars of Eton College, he walked in the procession to the +proclamation of George II. And no doubt he was one of _very_ few +personages in England whose eyes Were moistened for that event. +Nevertheless, there was something of _bonhommie_ in the character of +George I. that one misses in his successor. His love of punch, and his +habit of becoming a little tipsy over his private dinners with Sir +Robert Walpole, were English as well as German traits, and were regarded +almost as condescensions; and then he had a kind of slow wit, that was +turned upon the venial officials whose perquisites were at their +disgraceful height in his time. + +'A strange country this,' said the monarch, in his most clamorous +German: 'one day, after I came to St. James's, I looked out of the +window, and saw a park, with walks, laurels, &c.; these they told me +were mine. The next day Lord Chetwynd, the ranger of _my_ park, sends me +a brace of carp out of my canal; I was told, thereupon, that I must give +five guineas to Lord Chetwynd's porter for bringing me my _own_ fish, +out of my _own_ canal, in my _own_ park!' In spite of some agreeable +qualities, George I. was, however, anything but a 'good sort of man.' It +is difficult how to rank the two first Georges; both were detestable as +men, and scarcely tolerable as monarchs. The foreign deeds of George I. +were stained with the supposed murder of Count Konigsmark: the English +career of George II. was one of the coarsest profligacy. Their example +was infamous. + +His father's only sister having become the second wife of Charles Lord +Townshend, Horace was educated with his cousins; and the tutor selected +was Edward Weston, the son of Stephen, Bishop of Exeter; this preceptor +was afterwards engaged in a controversy with Dr. Warburton, concerning +the 'Naturalization of the Jews.' By that learned, haughty disputant, he +is termed 'a gazetteer by profession--by inclination a Methodist.' Such +was the man who guided the dawning intellect of Horace Walpole. Under +his care he remained until he went, in 1727, to Eton. But Walpole's was +not merely a scholastic education: he was destined for the law--and, on +going up to Cambridge, was obliged to attend lectures on civil law. He +went from Eton to King's College--where he was, however, more disposed +to what are termed accomplishments than to deep reading. At Cambridge he +even studied Italian; at home he learned to dance and fence; and took +lessons in drawing from Bernard Lens, drawing-master to the Duke of +Cumberland and his sisters. It is not to be wondered at that he left +Cambridge without taking a degree. + +But fortune was lying, as it were, in wait for him; and various +sinecures had been reserved for the Minister's youngest son: first, he +became Inspector of the Imports and Exports in the Customs; but soon +resigned that post to be Usher of the Exchequer. 'And as soon,' he +writes, 'as I became of age I took possession of two other little patent +places in the Exchequer, called Comptroller of the Pipe, and Clerk of +the Estreats. They had been held for me by Mr. Fane.' + +Such was the mode in which the younger sons were then provided for by a +minister; nor has the unworthy system died out in our time, although +greatly modified. + +Horace was growing up meantime, not an awkward, but a somewhat +insignificant youth, with a short, slender figure: which always retained +a boyish appearance when seen from behind. His face was common-place, +except when his really expressive eyes sparkled with intelligence, or +melted into the sweetest expression of kindness. But his laugh was +forced and uncouth: and even in his smile there was a hard, sarcastic +expression that made one regret that he smiled. + +He was now in possession of an income of £1,700 annually, and he looked +naturally to the Continent, to which all young members of the +aristocracy repaired, after the completion of their collegiate life. + +He had been popular at Eton: he was also, it is said, both beloved and +valued at Cambridge. In reference to his Etonian days he says, in one of +his letters, 'I can't say I am sorry I was never quite a schoolboy: an +expedition against bargemen, or a match at cricket, may be very pretty +things to recollect; but, thank my stars, I can remember things that are +very near as pretty. The beginning of my Roman history was spent in the +asylum, or conversing in Egeria's hallowed grove; not in thumping and +pummelling King Amulius's herdsmen.[1] + +[1: Life by Warburton, p 70.] + +'I remember,' he adds, 'when I was at Eton, and Mr. Bland had set me on +an extraordinary task, I used sometimes to pique myself upon not getting +it, because it was not immediately my school business. What! learn more +than I was absolutely forced to learn! I felt the weight of learning +that; for I was a blockhead, _and pushed above my parts_.'[2] + +[2: Life of Warburton, p. 63.] + +Popular amongst his schoolfellows, Horace formed friendships at Eton +which mainly influenced his after-life. Richard West, the son of West, +Lord Chancellor of Ireland, and the grandson, on his mother's side, of +Bishop Burnet; together with a youth named Assheton--formed, with the +poet Gray, and Horace himself, what the young wit termed the 'Quadruple +Alliance.' Then there was the 'triumvirate,' George Montagu, Charles +Montagu, and Horace: next came George Selwyn and Hanbury Williams; +lastly, a retired, studious youth, a sort of foil to all these gay, +brilliant young wits--a certain William Cole, a lover of old books, and +of quaint prints. And in all these boyish friendships, some of which +were carried from Eton to Cambridge, may be traced the foundation of the +Horace Walpole, of Strawberry Hill and of Berkeley Square. To Gray he +owed his ambition to be learned, if possible--poetical, if nature had +not forbidden; to the Montagus, his dash and spirit; to Sir Hanbury +Williams, his turn for _jeux d'esprit_, as a part of the completion of a +fine gentleman's education; to George Selwyn, his appreciation of what +was then considered wit--but which we moderns are not worthy to +appreciate. Lord Hertford and Henry Conway, Walpole's cousins, were also +his schoolfellows; and for them he evinced throughout his long life a +warm regard. William Pitt, Lord Chatham--chiefly remembered at Eton for +having been flogged for being out of bounds--was a contemporary, though +not an intimate, of Horace Walpole's at Eton. + +His regard for Gray did him infinite credit: yet never were two men more +dissimilar as they advanced in life. Gray had no aristocratic birth to +boast; and Horace dearly loved birth, refinement, position, all that +comprises the cherished term 'aristocracy.' Thomas Gray, more +illustrious for the little his fastidious judgment permitted him to give +to the then critical world, than many have been in their productions of +volumes, was born in Cornhill--his father being a worthy citizen. He was +just one year older than Walpole, but an age his senior in gravity, +precision, and in a stiff resolution to maintain his independence. He +made one fatal step, fatal to his friendship for Horace, when he +forfeited--by allowing Horace to take him and pay his expenses during a +long continental tour--his independence. Gray had many points which made +him vulnerable to Walpole's shafts of ridicule; and Horace had a host of +faults which excited the stern condemnation of Gray. The author of the +'Elegy'--which Johnson has pronounced to be the noblest ode in our +language--was one of the most learned men of his time, 'and was equally +acquainted with the elegant and profound paths of science, and that not +superficially, but thoroughly; knowing in every branch of history, both +natural and civil, as having read all the original historians of +England, France, and Italy; a great antiquarian, who made criticisms, +metaphysics, morals, and politics a principal part of his plan of +study--who was uncommonly fond of voyages and travels of all sorts--and +who had a fine taste in painting, prints, architecture, and gardening' +What a companion for a young man of taste and sympathy! but the friends +were far too clever long to agree. Gray was haughty, impatient, +intolerant of the peculiarities of others, according to the author of +'Walpoliana:' doubtless he detected the vanity, the actual selfishness, +the want of earnest feeling in Horace, which had all been kept down at +school, where boys are far more unsparing Mentors than their betters. In +vain did they travel _en prince_, and all at Walpole's expense; in vain +did they visit courts, and receive affability from princes: in vain did +he of Cornhill participate for a brief period in the attentions lavished +on the son of a British Prime Minister: they quarrelled--and we almost +reverence Gray for that result, more especially when we find the author +of 'Walpoliana' expressing his conviction that 'had it not been for this +idle indulgence of his hasty temper, Mr. Gray would immediately on his +return home have received, as usual, a pension or office from Sir Robert +Walpole.' We are inclined to feel contempt for the anonymous writer of +that amusing little book. + +After a companionship of four years, Gray, nevertheless, returned to +London. He had been educated with the expectation of being a barrister; +but finding that funds were wanting to pursue a legal education, he gave +up a set of chambers in the Temple, which he had occupied previous to +his travels, and retired to Cambridge. + +Henceforth what a singular contrast did the lives of these once fond +friends present! In the small, quaint rooms of Peter-House,[3] Gray +consumed a dreary celibacy, consoled by the Muse alone, who--if other +damsels found no charms in his somewhat piggish, wooden countenance, or +in his manners, replete, it is said, with an unpleasant consciousness of +superiority--never deserted him. His college existence, varied only by +his being appointed Professor of Modern History, was, for a brief space, +exchanged for an existence almost as studious in London. Between the +years 1759 and 1762, he took lodgings, we find, in Southampton Row--a +pleasant locality then, opening to the fields--in order to be near the +British Museum, at that time just opened to the public. Here his intense +studies were, it may be presumed, relieved by the lighter task of +perusing the Harleian Manuscripts; and here he formed the acquaintance +of Mason, a dull, affected poet, whose celebrity is greater as the +friend and biographer of Gray, than even as the author of those verses +on the death of Lady Coventry, in which there are, nevertheless, some +beautiful lines. Gray died in college--a doom that, next to ending one's +days in a jail or a convent, seems the dreariest. He died of the gout: a +suitable, and, in that region and in those three-bottle days, almost an +inevitable disease; but there is no record of his having been +intemperate. + +[3: Gray migrated to Pembroke in 1756.] + +Whilst Gray was poring over dusty manuscripts, Horace was beginning that +career of prosperity which was commenced by the keenest enjoyment of +existence. He has left us, in his Letters, some brilliant passages, +indicative of the delights of his boyhood and youth. Like him, we linger +over a period still fresh, still hopeful, still generous in impulse-- +still strong in faith in the world's worth--before we hasten on to +portray the man of the world, heartless, not wholly, perhaps, but wont +to check all feeling till it was well-nigh quenched; little minded; +bitter, if not spiteful; with many acquaintances and scarce one +friend--the Horace Walpole of Berkeley Square and Strawberry Hill. + +'Youthful passages of life are,' he says, 'the chippings of Pitt's +diamond, set into little heart-rings with mottoes; the stone itself more +worth, the filings more gentle and agreeable. Alexander, at the head of +the world, never tasted the true pleasure that boys of his age have +enjoyed at the head of a school. Little intrigues, little schemes and +policies engage their thoughts; and at the same time that they are +laying the foundation for their middle age of life, the mimic republic +they live in, furnishes materials of conversation for their latter age; +and old men cannot be said to be children a second time with greater +truth from any one cause, than their living over again their childhood +in imagination.' + +Again: 'Dear George, were not the playing-fields at Eton food for all +manner of flights? No old maid's gown, though it had been tormented into +all the fashions from King James to King George, ever underwent so many +transformations as these poor plains have in my idea. At first I was +contented with tending a visionary flock, and sighing some pastoral name +to the echo of the cascade under the bridge ... As I got further into +Virgil and Clelia, I found myself transported from Arcadia to the garden +of Italy; and saw Windsor Castle in no other view than the _Capitoli +immobile saxum_.' + +Horace Walpole's humble friend Assheton was another of those Etonians +who were plodding on to independence, whilst he, set forward by fortune +and interest, was accomplishing reputation. Assheton was the son of a +worthy man, who presided over the Grammar School at Lancaster, upon a +stipend of £32 a year. Assheton's mother had brought to her husband a +small estate. This was sold to educate the 'boys:' they were both clever +and deserving. One became the fellow of Trinity College; the other, the +friend of Horace, rose into notice as the tutor of the young Earl of +Plymouth; then became a D.D., and a fashionable preacher in London; was +elected preacher at Lincoln's Inn; attacked the Methodists; and died, at +fifty-three, at variance with Horace--this Assheton, whom once he had +loved so much. + +Horace, on the other hand, after having seen during his travels all that +was most exclusive, attractive, and lofty, both in art and nature, came +home without bringing, he declares, 'one word of French or Italian for +common use.' He professed, indeed, to prefer England to all other +countries. A country tour in England delighted him: the populousness, +the ease in the people also, charmed him. 'Canterbury was a paradise to +Modena, Reggio, or Parma.' He had, before he returned, perceived that +nowhere except in England was there the distinction of 'middling +people;' he now found that nowhere but in England were middling houses. +'How snug they are!' exclaims this scion of the exclusives. Then he runs +on into an anecdote about Pope and Frederick, Prince of Wales. 'Mr. +Pope, said the prince, 'you don't love princes.' 'Sir, I beg your +pardon.' 'Well, you don't love kings, then.' 'Sir, I own I like the lion +better before his claws are grown.' The 'Horace Walpole' began now to +creep out: never was he really at home except in a court atmosphere. +Still he assumed, even at twenty-four, to be the boy. + +'You won't find me,' he writes to Harry Conway, 'much altered, I +believe; at least, outwardly. I am not grown a bit shorter or fatter, +but am just the same long, lean creature as usual. Then I talk no French +but to my footman; nor Italian, but to myself. What inward alterations +may have happened to me you will discover best; for you know 'tis said, +one never knows that one's self. I will answer, that that part of it +that belongs to you has not suffered the least change--I took care of +that. For _virtu_, I have a little to entertain you--it is my sole +pleasure. I am neither young enough nor old enough to be in love.' + +Nevertheless, it peeps out soon after that the 'Pomfrets' are coming +back. Horace had known them in Italy. The Earl and Countess and their +daughters were just then the very pink of fashion; and even the leaders +of all that was exclusive in the court. Half in ridicule, half in +earnest, are the remarks which, throughout all the career of Horace, +incessantly occur. 'I am neither young enough nor old enough to be in +love,' he says; yet that he was in love with one of the lovely Fermors +is traditionary still in the family--and that tradition pointed at Lady +Juliana, the youngest, afterwards married to Mr. Penn. The Earl of +Pomfret had been master of the horse to Queen Caroline: Lady Pomfret, +lady of the bed-chamber. 'My Earl,' as the-countess styled him, was +apparently a supine subject to her ladyship's strong will and +wrong-headed ability--which she, perhaps, inherited from her +grandfather, Judge Jeffreys; she being the daughter and heiress of that +rash young Lord Jeffreys, who, in a spirit of braggadocia, stopped the +funeral of Dryden on its way to Westminster, promising a more splendid +procession than the poor, humble cortege--a boast which he never +fulfilled. Lady Sophia Fermor, the eldest daughter, who afterwards +became the wife of Lord Carteret, resembled, in beauty, the famed +Mistress Arabella Fermor, the heroine of the 'Rape of the Lock.' Horace +Walpole admired Lady Sophia--whom he christened Juno--intensely. +Scarcely a letter drips from his pen--as a modern novelist used to +express it[4]--without some touch of the Pomfrets. Thus to Sir Horace +Mann, then a diplomatist at Florence:-- + +[4: The accomplished novelist, Mrs. Gore, famous for her facility, used +to say that a three-volume novel just 'dripped from her pen.'] + +'Lady Pomfret I saw last night. Lady Sophia has been ill with a cold; +her head is to be dressed French, and her body English, for which I am +sorry, her figure is so fine in a robe. She is full as sorry as I am.' + +Again, at a ball at Sir Thomas Robinson's, where four-and-twenty couples +danced country-dances, in two sets, twelve and twelve, 'there was Lady +Sophia, handsomer than ever, but a little out of humour at the scarcity +of minuets; however, as usual, dancing more than anybody, and, as usual +too, she took out what men she liked, or thought the best +dancers.'...'We danced; for I country-danced till four, then had tea and +coffee, and came home.' Poor Horace! Lady Sophia was not for a younger +son, however gay, talented, or rich he might be. + +His pique and resentment towards her mother, who had higher views for +her beautiful daughter, begin at this period to show themselves, and +never died away. + +Lady Townshend was the wit who used to gratify Horace with tales of her +whom he hated--Henrietta-Louisa, Countess of Pomfret. + +'Lady Townshend told me an admirable history: it is of _our friend_ Lady +Pomfret. Somebody that belonged to the Prince of Wales said, they were +going to _court_; it was objected that they ought to say to Carlton +House; that the only _court_ is where the king resides. Lady P., with +her paltry air of significant learning and absurdity, said, "Oh, Lord! +Is there no _court_ in England but the king's? Sure, there are many +more! There is the _Court_ of Chancery, the _Court_ of Exchequer, the +_Court_ of King's Bench, &c." Don't you love her? Lord Lincoln does her +daughter--Lady Sophia Fermor. He is come over, and met me and her the +other night; he turned pale, spoke to her several times in the evening, +but not long, and sighed to me at going away. He came over all alone; +and not only his Uncle Duke (the Duke of Newcastle) but even Majesty is +fallen in love with him. He talked to the king at his levee, without +being spoken to. That was always thought high treason; but I don't know +how the gruff gentleman liked it. And then he had been told that Lord +Lincoln designed to have made the campaign, if we had gone to war; in +short, he says Lord Lincoln is the handsomest man in England.' + +Horace was not, therefore, the only victim to a mother's ambition: there +is something touching in the interest he from time to time evinces in +poor Lord Lincoln's hopeless love. On another occasion, a second ball of +Sir Thomas Robinson's, Lord Lincoln, out of prudence, dances with Lady +Caroline Fitzroy, Mr. Conway taking Lady Sophia Fermor. 'The two couple +were just admirably mismatched, as everybody soon perceived, by the +attentions of each man to the woman he did not dance with, and the +emulation of either lady; it was an admirable scene.' + +All, however, was not country dancing: the young man, 'too old and too +young to be in love,' was to make his way as a wit. He did so, in the +approved way in that day of irreligion, in a political squib. On July +14th, 1742, he writes in his Notes, 'I wrote the "_Lessons for the +Day_;" the "Lessons for the day" being the first and second chapters of +the "Book of Preferment,"' Horace was proud of this _brochure_, for he +says it got about surreptitiously, and was 'the original of many things +of that sort.' Various _jeux d'esprit_ of a similar sort followed. A +'Sermon on Painting,' which was preached before Sir Robert Walpole, in +the gallery at Houghton, by his chaplain; 'Patapan, or the Little White +Dog,' imitated from La Fontaine. No. 38 of the 'Old England Journal,' +intended to ridicule Lord Bath; and then, in a magazine, was printed his +'Scheme for a Tax on Message Cards and Notes.' Next the 'Beauties,' +which was also handed about, and got into print. So that without the +vulgarity of publishing, the reputation of the dandy writer was soon +noised about. His religious tenets may or may not have been sound; but +at all events the tone of his mind assumed at this time a very different +character to that reverent strain in which, when a youth at college, he +had apostrophized those who bowed their heads beneath the vaulted roof +of King's College, in his eulogium in the character of Henry VI. + + 'Ascend the temple, join the vocal choir, + Let harmony your raptured souls inspire. + Hark how the tuneful, solemn organs blow, + Awfully strong, elaborately slow; + Now to you empyrean seats above + Raise meditation on the wings of love. + Now falling, sinking, dying to the moan + Once warbled sad by Jesse's contrite son; + Breathe in each note a conscience through the sense, + And call forth tears from soft-eyed Penitence.' + +In the midst of all his gaieties, his successes, and perhaps his hopes, +a cloud hovered over the destinies of his father. The opposition, Horace +saw, in 1741, wished to ruin his father 'by ruining his constitution.' +They wished to continue their debates on Saturdays, Sir Robert's only +day of rest, when he used to rush to Richmond New Park, there to amuse +himself with a favourite pack of beagles. Notwithstanding the minister's +indifference to this his youngest son, Horace felt bitterly what he +considered a persecution against one of the most corrupt of modern +statesmen. + +'Trust me, if we fall, all the grandeur, all the envied grandeur of our +house, will not cost me a sigh: it has given me no pleasure while we +have it, and will give me no pain when I part with it. My liberty, my +ease, and choice of my own friends and company, will sufficiently +counterbalance the crowds of Downing Street. I am so sick of it all, +that if we are victorious or not, I propose leaving England in the +spring. + +The struggle was not destined to last long. Sir Robert was forced to +give up the contest and be shelved with a peerage. In 1742, he was +created Earl of Orford, and resigned. The wonder is that, with a mortal +internal disease to contend with, he should have faced his foes so long. +Verses ascribed to Lord Hervey ended, as did all the squibs of the day, +with a fling at that 'rogue Walpole.' + + 'For though you have made that rogue Walpole retire, + You are out of the frying-pan into the fire: + But since to the Protestant line I'm a friend, + I tremble to think how these changes may end.' + +Horace, notwithstanding an affected indifference, felt his father's +downfall poignantly. He went, indeed, to court, in spite of a cold, +taken in an unaired house; for the prime minister now quitted Downing +Street for Arlington Street. The court was crowded, he found, with old +ladies, the wives of patriots who had not been there for 'these twenty +years,' and who appeared in the accoutrements that were in vogue in +Queen Anne's time. 'Then', he writes, 'the joy and awkward jollity of +them is inexpressible! They titter, and, wherever you meet them, are +always looking at their watches an hour before the time. I met several +on the birthday (for I did not arrive time enough to make clothes), and +they were dressed in all the colours of the rainbow. They seem to have +said to themselves, twenty years ago, "Well, if ever I do go to court +again, I will have a pink and silver, or a blue and silver;" and they +keep their resolutions.' + +Another characteristic anecdote betrays his ill-suppressed vexation:-- + +'I laughed at myself prodigiously the other day for a piece of absence. +I was writing, on the king's birthday, and being disturbed with the mob +in the street, I rang for the porter and with an air of grandeur, as if +I was still at Downing Street, cried, "Pray send away those marrow-bones +and cleavers." + +The poor fellow, with the most mortified air in the world, replied, +"Sir, they are not at _our_ door, but over the way, at my Lord +Carteret's."--"Oh!" said I, "then let them alone; may be, he does not +dislike the noise!" I pity the poor porter, who sees all his old +customers going over the way too.' + +The retirement of Sir Robert from office had an important effect on the +tastes and future life of his son Horace. The minister had been +occupying his later years in pulling down his old ancestral house at +Houghton, and in building an enormous mansion, which has since his time +been, in its turn, partially demolished. When Harley, Earl of Orford, +was known to be erecting a great house for himself, Sir Robert had +remarked that a minister who did so committed a great imprudence. When +Houghton was begun, Sir Hynde Aston reminded Sir Robert of this speech. +'You ought to have recalled it to me before,' was the reply; 'for before +I began building, it might have been of use to me.' + +This famous memorial of Walpolean greatness, this splendid folly, +constructed, it is generally supposed, on public money, was inhabited by +Sir Robert only ten days in summer, and twenty days in winter; in the +autumn, during the shooting season, two months. It became almost an +eyesore to the quiet gentry, who viewed the palace with a feeling of +their own inferiority. People as good as the Walpoles lived in their +gable-ended, moderate-sized mansions; and who was Sir Robert, to set +them at so immense a distance? + +To the vulgar comprehension of the Premier, Houghton, gigantic in its +proportions, had its purposes. He there assembled his supporters; there, +for a short time, he entertained his constituents and coadjutors with a +magnificent, jovial hospitality, of which he, with his gay spirits, his +humourous, indelicate jokes, and his unbounded good-nature, was the very +soul. Free conversation, hard-drinking, were the features of every day's +feast. Pope thus describes him:-- + + 'Seen him, I have, but in his happier hour, + Of social pleasure, ill exchanged for power; + Seen him uncumbered with the venal tribe, + Smile without art, and win without a bribe.' + +Amid the coarse taste one gentle refinement existed: this was the love +of gardening, both in its smaller compass and it its nobler sense of +landscape gardening. 'This place,' Sir Robert, in 1743, wrote to General +Churchill, from Houghton, 'affords no news, no subject of entertainment +or amusement; for fine men of wit and pleasure about town understand +neither the language and taste, nor the pleasure of the inanimate world. +My flatterers here are all mutes: the oaks, the beeches, the chestnuts, +seem to contend which best shall please the lord of the manor. They +cannot deceive; they will not lie. I in sincerity admire them, and have +as many beauties about me as fill up all my hours of dangling, and no +disgrace attending me, from sixty-seven years of age. Within doors we +come a little nearer to real life, and admire, upon the almost speaking +canvas, all the airs and graces the proudest ladies can boast.' + +In these pursuits Horace cordially shared. Through his agency, Horace +Mann, still in the diplomatic service, at Florence, selected and +purchased works of art, which were sent either to Arlington Street, or +to form the famous Houghton Collection, to which Horace so often refers +in that delightful work, his 'Anecdotes of Painting.' + +Amongst the embellishments of Houghton, the gardens were the most +expensive. + +'Sir Robert has pleased himself,' Pulteney, Earl of Bath, wrote, 'with +erecting palaces and extending parks, planting gardens in places to +which the very earth was to be transported in carriages, and embracing +cascades and fountains whose water was only to be obtained by aqueducts +and machines, and imitating the extravagance of Oriental monarchs, at +the expense of a free people whom he has at once impoverished and +betrayed.' + +The ex-minister went to a great expense in the cultivation of plants, +bought Uvedale's 'Hortus Siccus;' and received from Bradley, the +Professor of Botany at Cambridge, the tribute of a dedication, in which +it was said that 'Sir Robert had purchased one of the finest collections +of plants in the kingdom.' + +What was more to his honour still, was Sir Robert's preservation of St. +James's Park for the people. Fond of outdoor amusements himself, the +Premier heard, with dismay, a proposal on the part of Queen Caroline to +convert that ancient park into a palace garden. 'She asked my father,' +Horace Walpole relates, 'what the alteration might possibly +cost?'--_Only three crowns_' was the civil, witty, candid answer. The +queen was wise enough to take the hint. It is possible she meant to +convert the park into gardens that should be open to the public as at +Berlin, Mannheim, and even the Tuileries. Still it would not have been +ours. + +Horace Walpole owed, perhaps, his love of architecture and his taste for +gardening, partly to the early companionship of Gray, who delighted in +those pursuits. Walpole's estimation of pictures, medals, and statues, +was however the fruit of a long residence abroad. We are apt to rail at +continental nations; yet had it not been for the occasional intercourse +with foreign nations, art would have altogether died out among us. To +the 'Grandes Tours,' performed as a matter of course by our young +nobility in the most impressionable period of their lives we owe most of +our noble private collections. Charles I. and Buckingham, renewed, in +their travels in Spain, the efforts previously made by Lord Arundel and +Lord Pembroke, to embellish their country seats. Then came the +Rebellion; and like a mighty rushing river, made a chasm in which much +perished. Art languished in the reign of the second Charles, excepting +in what related to portrait painting. Evelyn stood almost alone in his +then secluded and lovely retirement at Wotton; apart in his undying +exertions still to arrest the Muses ere they quitted for ever English +shores. Then came the deadly frost of William's icy influence. The reign +of Anne was conspicuous more for letters than for art: architecture, +more especially, was vulgarized under Vanbrugh. George I. had no +conception of anything abstract: taste, erudition, science, art, were +like a dead language to his common sense, his vulgar profligacy, and his +personal predilections. Neither George II. nor his queen had an iota of +taste, either in language, conduct, literature, or art. To be vulgar, +was _haut-ton;_ to be refined, to have pursuits that took one from low +party gossip, or heterodox disquisitions upon party, was esteemed odd: +everything original was cramped; everything imaginative was sneered at; +the enthusiasm that is elevated by religion was unphilosophic; the +poetry that is breathed out from the works of genius was not +comprehended. + +It was at Houghton, under the roof of that monster palace, that Horace +Walpole indulged that tastes for pictures which he had acquired in +Italy. His chief coadjutor, however, as far as the antiquities of +painting are concerned, was George Vertue, the eminent engraver. Vertue +was a man of modest merit, and was educated merely as an engraver; but, +conscious of talent, studied drawing, which he afterwards applied to +engraving. He was patronised both by the vain Godfrey Kneller and by the +intellectual Lord Somers: yet his works have more fidelity than +elegance, and betray in every line the antiquary rather than the genius. +Vertue was known to be a first-rate authority as to the history of a +painter; he was admitted and welcomed into every great country house in +England; he lived in an atmosphere of vertù; every line a dilettante +collector wrote, every word he uttered, was minuted down by him; he +visited every collection of rarities; he copied every paper he could +find relative to art; registers of wills, and registers of parishes, for +births and deaths were his delight; sales his recreation. He was the +'Old Mortality' of pictures in this country. No wonder that his +compilations were barely contained in forty volumes, which he left in +manuscript. Human nature has singular varieties: here was a man who +expended his very existence in gathering up the works of others, and +died without giving to the world one of his own. But Horace Walpole has +done him justice. After Vertue's death he bought his manuscripts from +his widow. In one of his pocket-books was contained the whole history of +this man of one idea: Vertue began his collection in 1713, and worked at +it until his death in 1757, forty-four years. + +He died in the belief that he should one day publish an unique work on +painting and painters: such was the aim of his existence, and his study +must have been even more curious than the wonderfully crammed, small +house at Islington, where William Upcott, the 'Old Mortality' in his +line, who saved from the housemaid's fire-lighting designs the MSS. Of +Evelyn's + +Life and Letters, which he found tossing about in the old gallery at +Wotton, near Dorking, passed his days. Like Upcott, like Palissy, Vertue +lived and died under the influence of one isolated aim, effort, and +hope. + +In these men, the cherished and amiable monomania of gifted minds was +realized. Upcott had every possible autograph from every known hand in +his collection: Palissy succeeded in making glazed china; but Vertue +left his ore to the hands of others to work out into shape, and the man +who moulded his crude materials was Horace Walpole, and Vertue's forty +volumes were shaped into a readable work, as curious and accurate in +facts as it is flippant and prejudiced in style and opinions. + +Walpole's 'Anecdotes of Painting' are the foundation of all our small +amount of knowledge as to what England has done formerly to encourage +art. + +One may fancy the modest, ingenious George Vertue arranging first, and +then making a catalogue of the Houghton Gallery; Horace, a boy still, in +looks,--with a somewhat chubby face, admiring and following: Sir Robert, +in a cocked hat, edged with silver lace, a curled short wig, a loose +coat, also edged with silver lace, and with a half humorous expression +on his vulgar countenance, watching them at intervals, as they paraded +through the hall, a large square space, adorned with bas-reliefs and +busts, and containing a bronze copy of the Laocoon, for which Sir Robert +(or rather we English) paid a thousand pounds; or they might be seen +hopping speedily through the ground-floor apartments where there could +be little to arrest the footsteps of the mediaeval-minded Vertue. Who +but a courtier could give one glance at a portrait of George I., though +by Kneller? Who that _was_ a courtier in that house would pause to look +at the resemblance, also by Kneller, of the short-lived, ill-used +Catherine Shorter, the Premier's first wife--even though he still +endured it in his bed-room? a mute reproach for his neglect and +misconduct. So let us hasten to the yellow dining-room where presently +we may admire the works of Titian, Guido, Vanderwerf, and last, not +least, eleven portraits by Vandyck, of the Wharton family, which Sir +Robert bought at the sale of the spendthrift Duke of Wharton. + +Then let us glance at the saloon, famed for the four large 'Market +Pieces,' as they were called, by Rubens and Snyders: let us lounge into +what were called the Carlo Maratti and the Vandyck rooms; step we also +into the green velvet bed-chamber, the tapestry-room, the worked bed +chamber; then comes another dining-room: in short, we are lost in wonder +at this noble collection, which cost £40,000. + +Many of the pictures were selected and bargained for by Vertue, who, in +Flanders, purchased the Market Pieces referred to, for £428; but did not +secure the 'Fish Market,' and the 'Meat Market,' by the same painter. In +addition to the pictures, the stateliness and beauty of the rooms were +enhanced by rich furniture, carving, gilding, and all the subsidiary +arts which our grandfathers loved to add to high merit in design or +colouring. Besides his purchases, Sir Robert received presents of +pictures from friends, and expectant courtiers; and the gallery at +Houghton contained at last 222 pictures. To our sorrow now, to our +disgrace then, this splendid collection was suffered to go out of the +country: Catherine, empress of Russia, bought it for £40,000, and it +adorns the Hermitage Palace of St. Petersburgh. + +After Sir Robert's retirement from power, the good qualities which he +undoubtedly possessed, seemed to re-appear as soon as the pressure of +party feeling was withdrawn. He was fast declining in health when the +insurrection of 1745 was impending. He had warned the country of its +danger in his last speech, one of the finest ever made in the House of +Lords: after that effort his voice was heard no more. The gallant, +unfortunate Charles Edward was then at Paris, and that scope of old +experience + + ----'which doth attain + To somewhat of prophetic strain,' + +showed the ex-minister of Great Britain that an invasion was at hand. It +was on this occasion that Frederick, Prince of Wales, took Sir Robert, +then Lord Orford, by the hand, and thanked him for his zeal in the cause +of the royal family. Walpole returned to Norfolk, but was summoned again +to London to afford the ministry the benefit of his counsels. Death, +however, closed his prosperous, but laborious life. He suffered agonies +from the stone; large doses of opium kept him in a state of stupor, and +alone gave him ease; but his strength failed, and he was warned to +prepare himself for his decease. He bore the announcement with great +fortitude, and took leave of his children in perfect resignation to his +doom. He died on the 28th of March, 1745. + +Horace Walpole--whatsoever doubts may rest on the fact of his being Lord +Orford's son or not--writes feelingly and naturally upon this event, and +its forerunner, the agonies of disease. He seems, from the following +passages in his letters to Sir Horace Mann, to have devoted himself +incessantly to the patient invalid: on his father having rallied, he +thus expresses himself:-- + +'You have heard from your brother the reason of my not having written to +you so long. I have been out but twice since my father fell into this +illness, which is now near a month, and all that time either continually +in his room, or obliged to see multitudes of people: for it is wonderful +how everybody of all kinds has affected to express their concern for +him! He has been out of danger this week; but I can't say he mended at +all perceptibly till these last three days. His spirits are amazing, and +his constitution more, for Dr. Hulse said honestly from the first, that +if he recovered it would be from his own strength, not from their art. +How much more,' he adds, mournfully, 'he will ever recover, one scarce +dare hope about; for us, he is greatly recovered; for himself--' He then +breaks off. + +A month after we find him thus referring to the parent still throbbing +in mortal agony on the death-bed, with no chance of amendment:-- + +'How dismal a prospect for him, with the possession of the greatest +understanding in the world, not the least impaired, to lie without any +use for it! for to keep him from pains and restlessness, he takes so +much opiate, that he is scarce awake four hours of the four-and-twenty; +but I will say no more of this.' + +On the 29th of March, he again wrote to his friend in the following +terms:-- + +'I begged your brothers to tell you what it is impossible for me to tell +you. You share in our common loss! Don't expect me to enter at all upon +the subject. After the melancholy two months that I have passed, and in +my situation, you will not wonder I shun a conversation which could not +be bounded by a letter, a letter that would grow into a panegyric or a +piece of a moral; improper for me to write upon, and too distressful for +us both! a death is only to be felt, never to be talked upon by those it +touches.' + +Nevertheless, the world soon had Horace Walpole for her own again; +during Lord Orford's last illness, George II. Thought of him, it seems, +even though the 'Granvilles' were the only people tolerated at court. +That famous _clique_ comprised the secretly adored of Horace (Lady +Granville now), Lady Sophia Fermor. + +'The Granville faction,' Horace wrote, before his father's death, 'are +still the constant and only countenanced people at court. Lord +Winchelsea, one of the disgraced, played at court at Twelfth-night, and +won; the king asked him next morning how much he had for his own share. +He replied, "Sir, about a quarter's salary." I liked the spirit, and was +talking to him of it the next night at Lord Granville's. "Why yes," said +he, "I think it showed familiarity at least: tell it your father, I +don't think he will dislike it."' + +The most trifling incidents divided the world of fashion and produced +the bitterest rancour. Indeed, nothing could exceed the frivolity of the +great, except their impertinence. For want of better amusements, it had +become the fashion to make conundrums, and to have printed books full of +them, which were produced at parties. But these were peaceful +diversions. The following anecdote is worthy of the times of George II. +and of Frederick of Wales:-- + +'There is a very good quarrel,' Horace writes, 'on foot, between two +duchesses: she of Queensberry sent to invite Lady Emily Lenox to a ball: +her grace of Richmond, who is wonderfully cautious since Lady Caroline's +elopement (with Mr. Fox), sent word "she could not determine." The other +sent again the same night: the same answer. The Queensberry then sent +word, that she had made up her company, and desired to be excused from +having Lady Emily's; but at the bottom of the card wrote, "Too great +trust." There is no declaration of war come out from the other duchess: +but I believe it will be made a national quarrel of the whole +illegitimate royal family.' + +Her Grace of Queensberry, Prior's 'Kitty, beautiful and young,' lorded +it, with a tyrannical hand, over the court. Her famed loveliness was, it +is true, at this time on the wane. Her portrait delineating her in her +bib and tucker, with her head rolled back underneath a sort of half cap, +half veil, shows how intellectual was the face to which such incense was +paid for years. Her forehead and eyebrows are beautiful: her eyes soft +though lively in expression: her features refined. She was as whimsical +in her attire as in her character. When, however, she chose to appear as +the _grande dame_, no one could cope with her, Mrs. Delany describes her +at the Birth-day,--her dress of white satin, embroidered with vine +leaves, convolvuluses, rose-buds, shaded after nature; but she, says her +friend, 'was _so far_ beyond the master-_piece of art_ that one could +hardly think of her clothes--allowing for her age I never saw so +_beautiful a creature_.' + +Meantime, Houghton was shut up: for its owner died £50,000 in debt, and +the elder brother of Horace, the second Lord Orford, proposed, on +entering it again, after keeping it closed for some time, to enter upon +'new, and then very unknown economy, for which there was great need:' +thus Horace refers to the changes. + +It was in the South Sea scheme that Sir Robert Walpole had realized a +large sum of money, by selling out at the right moment. In doing so he +had gained 1000 per cent. But he left little to his family, and at his +death, Horace received a legacy only of £5,000, and a thousand pounds +yearly, which he was to draw (for doing nothing) from the collector's +place in the Custom House; the surplus to be divided between his brother +Edward and himself: this provision was afterwards enhanced by some money +which came to Horace and his brothers from his uncle Captain Shorter's +property; but Horace was not at this period a rich man, and perhaps his +not marrying was owing to his dislike of fortune-hunting, or to his +dread of refusal. + +Two years after his father's death, he took a small house at Twickenham: +the property cost him nearly £14,000; in the deeds he found that it was +called Strawberry Hill. He soon commenced making considerable additions +to the house--which became a sort of raree-show in the latter part of +the last, and until a late period in this, century. + +Twickenham--so called, according to the antiquary Norden, because the +Thames, as it flows near it, seems from the islands to be divided into +two rivers,--had long been celebrated for its gardens, when Horace +Walpole, the generalissimo of all bachelors, took Strawberry Hill. +'Twicknam is as much as Twynam,' declares Norden, 'a place scytuate +between two rivers.' So fertile a locality could not be neglected by the +monks of old, the great gardeners and tillers of land in ancient days; +and the Manor of Twickenham was consequently given to the monks of +Christ Church, Canterbury, by King Edred, in 491; who piously inserted +his anathema against any person--whatever their rank, sex, or order--who +should infringe the rights of these holy men. 'May their memory,' the +king decreed, with a force worthy of the excommunicator-wholesale, Pius +IX., 'be blotted out of the Book of Life; may their strength continually +waste away, and be there no restorative to repair it!' nevertheless, +there were in the time of Lysons, a hundred and fifty acres of +fruit-gardens at Twickenham: the soil being a sandy loam, raspberries +grew plentifully. Even so early as Queen Elizabeth's days, Bishop +Corbet's father had a nursery garden at Twickenham,--so that King +Edred's curse seems to have fallen as powerlessly as it may be hoped all +subsequent maledictions may do. + +In 1698, one of the Earl of Bradford's coachmen built a small house on a +piece of ground, called in old works, Strawberry-Hill-Shot; lodgings +were here let, and Colley Cibber became one of the occupants of the +place, and here wrote his Comedy called 'Refusal; or the Ladies' +Philosophy.' The spot was so greatly admired that Talbot, Bishop of +Durham, lived eight years in it, and the Marquis of Carnarvon succeeded +him as a tenant: next came Mrs. Chenevix, a famous toy-woman. She was +probably a French woman, for Father Courayer--he who vainly endeavoured +to effect an union between the English and the Gallican churches--lodged +here some time. Horace Walpole bought up Mrs. Chenevix's lease, and +afterwards the fee-simple; and henceforth became the busiest, if not the +happiest, man in a small way in existence. + +[Illustration: STRAWBERRY HILL FROM THE THAMES.] + +We now despise the poor, over-ornate miniature Gothic style of +Strawberry Hill; we do not consider with what infinite pains the +structure was enlarged into its final and well-known form. In the first +place, Horace made a tour to collect models from the chief cathedral +cities in England; but the building required twenty-three years to +complete it. It was begun in 1753, and finished in 1776. Strawberry Hill +had one merit, everything was in keeping: the internal decorations, the +screens, the niches, the chimney-pieces, the book-shelves, were all +Gothic; and most of these were designed by Horace himself; and, indeed, +the description of Strawberry Hill is too closely connected with the +annals of his life to be dissevered from his biography. Here he gathered +up his mental forces to support and amuse himself during a long life, +sometimes darkened by spleen, but rarely by solitude; for Horace, with +much isolation of the heart, was, to the world, a social being. + +What scandal, what trifles, what important events, what littleness of +mind, yet what stretch of intellect were henceforth issued by the +recluse of Strawberry, as he plumed himself on being styled, from that +library of 'Strawberry!' Let us picture to ourselves the place, the +persons--put on, if we can, the sentiments and habits of the retreat; +look through its loopholes, not only on the wide world beyond, but into +the small world within; and face the fine gentleman author in every +period of his varied life. + +'The Strawberry Gazette,' Horace once wrote to a fine and titled lady, +'is very barren of weeds.' Such, however, was rarely the case. Peers, +and still better, peeresses,--politicians, actors, actresses,--the poor +poet who knew not where to dine, the Maecenas who was 'fed with +dedications'--the belle of the season, the demirep of many, the +antiquary, and the dilettanti,--painters, sculptors, engravers, all +brought news to the 'Strawberry Gazette;' and incense, sometimes wrung +from aching hearts, to the fastidious wit who professed to be a judge of +all material and immaterial things--from a burlesque to an Essay on +history or Philosophy--from the construction of Mrs. Chenevix's last new +toy to the mechanism of a clock made in the sixteenth century, was +lavished there. + +Suppose that it is noon-day: Horace is showing a party of guests from +London over Strawberry:--enter we with him, and let us stand in the +great parlour before a portrait by Wright of the Minister to whom all +courts bowed. 'That is my father, Sir Robert, in profile,' and a vulgar +face in profile is always seen at its vulgarest; and the +_nex-retroussé,_ the coarse mouth, the double chin, are most forcibly +exhibited in this limning by Wright; who did not, like Reynolds, or like +Lawrence, cast a _nuance_ of gentility over every subject of his pencil. +Horace--can we not hear him in imagination?--is telling his friends how +Sir Robert used to celebrate the day on which he sent in his +resignation, as a fête; then he would point out to his visitors a +Conversation-piece, one of Reynolds's earliest efforts in small life, +representing the second Earl of Edgecumbe, Selwyn, and Williams---all +wits and beaux, and _habitués_ of Strawberry. Colley Cibber, however, +was put in cold marble in the anteroom; a respect very _Horatian_, for +no man knew better how to rank his friends than the recluse of +Strawberry. He hurries the lingering guests through the little parlour, +the chimneypiece of which was copied from the tomb of Ruthall, Bishop of +Durham, in Westminster Abbey. Yet how he pauses complacently to +enumerate what has been done for him by titled belles: how these dogs, +modelled in terra-cotta, are the production of Anne Darner; a +water-colour drawing by Agnes Berry; a landscape with gipsies by Lady Di +Beauclerk;--all platonically devoted to our Horace; but he dwells long, +and his bright eyes are lighted up as he pauses before a case, looking +as if it contained only a few apparently faded, of no-one-knows-who (or +by whom) miniatures; this is a collection of Peter Oliver's best +works--portraits of the Digby family. + +How sadly, in referring to these invaluable pictures, does one's mind +revert to the day when, before the hammer of Robins had resounded in +these rooms--before his transcendent eloquence had been heard at +Strawberry--Agnes Strickland, followed by all eyes, pondered over that +group of portraits: how, as she slowly withdrew, we of the commonalty +scarce worthy to look, gathered around the spot again, and wondered at +the perfect life, the perfect colouring, proportion, and keeping of +those tiny vestiges of a bygone generation! + +Then Horace--we fear it was not till his prime was past, and a touch of +gout crippled his once active limbs--points to a picture of Rose, the +gardener (well named), presenting Charles II. with a pine-apple. Some +may murmur a doubt whether pine-apples were cultivated in cold Britain +so long since. But Horace enforces the fact; 'the likeness of the king,' +quoth he, 'is too marked, and his features are too well known to doubt +the fact;' and then he tells 'how he had received a present the last +Sunday of fruit--and from whom.' + +They pause next on Sir Peter Lely's portrait of Cowley--next on +Hogarth's Sarah Malcolm, the murderess of her mistress; then--and +doubtless, the spinster ladies are in fault here for the delay,--on Mrs. +Damer's model of two kittens, pets, though, of Horace Walpole's--for he +who loved few human beings was, after the fashion of bachelors, fond of +cats. + +They ascend the staircase: the domestic adornments merge into the +historic. We have Francis I.--not himself, but his armour: the +chimneypiece, too, is a copy from the tomb-works of John, Earl of +Cornwall, in Westminster Abbey; the stonework from that of Thomas, Duke +of Clarence, at Canterbury. + +Stay awhile: we have not done with sacrilege yet; worse things are to be +told, and we walk with consciences not unscathed into the Library, +disapproving in secret but flattering vocally. Here the very spirit of +Horace seemed to those who visited Strawberry before its fall to breathe +in every corner. Alas! when we beheld that library, it was half filled +with chests containing the celebrated MSS. of his letters; which were +bought by that enterprising publisher of learned name, Richard Bentley, +and which have since had adequate justice done them by first-rate +editors. There they were: the 'Strawberry Gazette' in full;--one glanced +merely at the yellow paper, and clear, decisive hand, and then turned to +see what objects he, who loved his books so well, collected for his +especial gratification. Mrs. Damer again! how proud he was of her +genius--her beauty, her cousinly love for himself; the wise way in which +she bound up the wounds of her breaking heart when her profligate +husband shot himself, by taking to occupation--perhaps, too, by liking +cousin Horace indifferently well. He put her models forward in every +place. Here was her Osprey Eagle in terra-cotta, a masterly production; +there a _couvre-fire,_ or _cur-few,_ imitated and modelled by her. Then +the marriage of Henry VI. Figures on the wall; near the fire is a screen +of the first tapestry ever made in England, representing a map of Surrey +and Middlesex; a notion of utility combined with ornament, which we see +still exhibited in the Sampler in old-fashioned, middle-class houses; +that poor posthumous, base-born child of the tapestry, almost defunct +itself; and a veritable piece of antiquity. + +Still more remarkable in this room was a quaint-faced clock, silver +gilt, given by Henry VIII. to Anne Boleyn; which perchance, after +marking the moments of her festive life, struck unfeelingly the hour of +her doom. + +But the company are hurrying into a little ante-room, the ceiling of +which is studded with stars in mosaic; it is therefore called jocularly, +the 'Star Chamber;' and here stands a cast of the famous bust of Henry +VII., by Torregiano, intended for the tomb of that sad-faced, +long-visaged monarch, who always looks as if royalty had disagreed with +him. + +Next we enter the Holbein Chamber. Horace hated bishops and archbishops, +and all the hierarchy; yet here again we behold another prelatical +chimneypiece--a frieze taken from the tomb of Archbishop Warham, at +Canterbury. And here, in addition to Holbein's picture of Mary Tudor, +Duchess of Suffolk, and of her third husband Adrian Stokes, are Vertue's +copies of Holbein, drawings of that great master's pictures in +Buckingham House: enough--let us hasten into the Long Gallery. Those who +remember Sir Samuel Merrick and his Gallery at Goodrich Court will have +traced in his curious, somewhat gew gaw collections of armour, +antiquities, faded portraits, and mock horses, much of the taste and +turn of mind that existed in Horace Walpole. + +The gallery, which all who recollect the sale at Strawberry Hill must +remember with peculiar interest, sounded well on paper. It was 56 feet +long, 17 high, and 13 wide; yet was neither long enough, high enough, +nor wide enough to inspire the indefinable sentiment by which we +acknowledge vastness. We beheld it the scene of George Robins's +triumphs--crowded to excess. Here strolled Lord John Russell; there, +with heavy tread, walked Daniel O'Connell. Hallam, placid, kindly, +gentle--the prince of book-worms--moved quickly through the rooms, +pausing to raise a glance to the ceiling--copied from one of the side +aisles of Henry VII.'s Chapel--but the fretwork is gilt, and there is +_petitesse_ about the Gothic which disappoints all good judges. + +But when Horace conducted his courtly guests into this his mind-vaunted +vaulted gallery, he had sometimes George Selwyn at his side; or +Gray--or, in his old age, 'my niece, the Duchess of Gloucester,' leaned +on his arm. What strange associations, what brilliant company!--the +associations can never be recalled there again; nor the company +reassembled. The gallery, like everything else, has perished under the +pressure of debt. He who was so particular, too, as to the number of +those who were admitted to see his house--he who stipulated that four +persons only should compose a party, and one party alone be shown over +each day--how would he have borne the crisis, could he have foreseen it, +when Robins became, for the time, his successor, and was the temporary +lord of Strawberry; the dusty, ruthless, wondering, depreciating mob of +brokers--the respectable host of publishers--the starving army of +martyrs, the authors--the fine ladies, who saw nothing there comparable +to Howell and James's--the antiquaries, fishing out suspicious +antiquities--the painters, clamorous over Kneller's profile of Mrs. +Barry--the virtuous indignant mothers, as they passed by the portraits +of the Duchess de la Valliere, and of Ninon de l'Enclos, and remarked, +or at all events they _might_ have remarked, that the company on the +floor was scarcely much more respectable than the company on the +walls--the fashionables, who herded together, impelled by caste, that +free-masonry of social life, enter the Beauclerk closet to look over +Lady Di's scenes from the 'Mysterious Mother'--the players and +dramatists, finally, who crowded round Hogarth's sketch of his 'Beggars' +Opera,' with portraits, and gazed on Davison's likeness of Mrs. +Clive:--how could poor Horace have tolerated the sound of their +irreverent remarks, the dust of their shoes, the degradation of their +fancying that they might doubt his spurious-looking antiquities, or +condemn his improper-looking ladies on their canvas? How, indeed, could +he? For those parlours, that library, were peopled in his days with all +those who could enhance his pleasures, or add to their own, by their +presence. When Poverty stole in there, it was irradiated by Genius. When +painters hovered beneath the fretted ceiling of that library, it was to +thank the oracle of the day, not always for large orders, but for +powerful recommendations. When actresses trod the Star Chamber, it was +as modest friends, not as audacious critics on Horace, his house, and +his pictures. + +Before we call up the spirits that were familiar at Strawberry--ere we +pass through the garden-gate, the piers of which were copied from the +tomb of Bishop William de Luda, in Ely Cathedral--let us glance at the +chapel, and then a word or two about Walpole's neighbours and anent +Twickenham. + +The front of the chapel was copied from Bishop Audley's tomb at +Salisbury. Four panels of wood, taken from the Abbey of St. Edmund's +Bury, displayed the portraits of Cardinal Beaufort, of Humphrey Duke of +Gloucester, and of Archbishop Kemp. So much for the English church. + +Next was seen a magnificent shrine in mosaic, from the church of St. +Mary Maggiore, in Rome. This was the work of the noted Peter Cavalini, +who constructed the tomb of Edward the Confessor in Westminster Abbey. +The shrine had figured over the sepulchre of four martyrs, who rested +between it in 1257: then the principal window in the chapel was brought +from Bexhill in Sussex; and displayed portraits of Henry III. and his +queen. + +It was not every day that gay visitors travelled down the dusty roads +from London to visit the recluse at Strawberry: but Horace wanted them +not, for he had neighbours. In his youth he had owned for his playfellow +the ever witty, the precocious, the all-fascinating Lady Mary Wortley +Montagu. 'She was,' he wrote, 'a playfellow of mine when we were +children. She was always a dirty little thing. This habit continued with +her. When at Florence, the Grand Duke gave her apartments in his palace. +One room sufficed for everything; and when she went away, the stench was +so strong that they were obliged to fumigate the chamber with vinegar +for a week.' + +Let not the scandal be implicitly credited. Lady Mary, dirty or clean, +resided occasionally, however, at Twickenham. When the admirable Lysons +composed his 'Environs of London,' Horace Walpole was still living--it +was in 1795--to point out to him the house in which his brilliant +acquaintance lived. It was then inhabited by Dr. Morton. The profligate +and clever Duke of Wharton lived also at Twickenham. + +Marble Hill was built by George II, for the countess of Suffolk, and +Henry, Earl of Pembroke, was the architect. Of later years, the +beautiful and injured Mrs. Fitzherbert might be seen traversing the +greensward, which was laved by the then pellucid waters of the Thames. +The parish of Twickenham, in fact, was noted for the numerous characters +who have, at various times, lived in it: Robert Boyle, the great +philosopher; James Craggs, Secretary of State; Lord George Germaine; +Lord Bute--are strangely mixed up with the old memories which circle +around Twickenham to say nothing of its being, in after years, the abode +of Louis Philippe, and now, of his accomplished son. + +One dark figure in the background of society haunts us also: Lady +Macclesfield, the cruel mother of Savage, polluted Twickenham by her +evil presence. + +Let us not dwell on her name, but recall, with somewhat of pride, that +the names of that knot of accomplished, intellectual women, who composed +the neighbourhood of Strawberry, were all English; those who loved to +revel in all its charms of society and intellect were our justly-prized +countrywomen. + +Foremost in the bright constellation was Anne Seymour Conway, too soon +married to the Hon. John Darner. She was one of the loveliest, the most +enterprizing, and the most gifted women of her time--thirty-one years +younger than Horace, having been born in 1748. He doubtless liked her +the more that no ridicule could attach to his partiality, which was that +of a father to a daughter, insofar as regarded his young cousin. She +belonged to a family dear to him, being the daughter of Field Marshal +Henry Seymour Conway: then she was beautiful, witty, a courageous +politician, a heroine, fearless of losing caste, by aspiring to be an +artist. She was, in truth, of our own time rather than of that. The +works which she left at Strawberry are scattered; and if still +traceable, are probably in many instances scarcely valued. But in that +lovely spot, hallowed by the remembrance of Mrs. Siddons, who lived +there in some humble capacity--say maid, say companion--in Guy's Cliff +House, near Warwick--noble traces of Anne Damer's genius are extant: +busts of the majestic Sally Siddons; of Nature's aristocrat, John +Kemble; of his brother Charles--arrest many a look, call up many a +thought of Anne Damer and her gifts: her intelligence, her warmth of +heart, her beauty, her associates. Of her powers Horace Walpole had the +highest opinion. 'If they come to Florence,' he wrote, speaking of Mrs. +Damer's going to Italy for the winter, 'the great duke should beg Mrs. +Damer to give him something of her statuary; and it would be a greater +curiosity than anything in his Chamber of Painters. She has executed +several marvels since you saw her; and has lately carved two colossal +heads for the bridge at Henley, which is the most beautiful in the +world, next to the Ponte di Trinità and was principally designed by her +father, General Conway.' + +No wonder that he left to this accomplished relative the privilege of +living, after his death, at Strawberry Hill, of which she took +possession in 1797, and where she remained twenty years; giving it up, +in 1828, to Lord Waldegrave. + +She was, as we have said, before her time in her appreciation of what +was noble and superior, in preference to that which gives to caste +alone, its supremacy. During her last years she bravely espoused an +unfashionable cause; and disregarding the contempt of the lofty, became +the champion of the injured and unhappy Caroline of Brunswick. + +From his retreat at Strawberry, Horace Walpole heard all that befel the +object of his flame, Lady Sophia Fermor. His letters present from time +to time such passages as these; Lady Pomfret, whom he detested, being +always the object of his satire:-- + +'There is not the least news; but that my Lord Carteret's wedding has +been deferred on Lady Sophia's (Fermor's) falling dangerously ill of a +scarlet fever; but they say it is to be next Saturday. She is to have +£1,600 a year jointure, £400 pin-money, and £2,000 of jewels. Carteret +says he does not intend to marry the mother (Lady Pomfret) and the whole +family. What do you think my Lady intends?' + +Lord Carteret, who was the object of Lady Pomfret's successful +generalship, was at this period, 1744, fifty-four years of age, having +been born in 1690. He was the son of George, Lord Carteret, by Grace, +daughter of the first Earl of Bath, of the line of Granville--a title +which became eventually his. The fair Sophia, in marrying him, espoused +a man of no ordinary attributes. In person, Horace Walpole, after the +grave had closed over one whom he probably envied, thus describes him:-- + + 'Commanding beauty, smoothed by cheerful grace, + Sat on each open feature of his face. + Bold was his language, rapid, glowing, strong, + And science flowed spontaneous from his tongue: + A genius seizing systems, slighting rules, + And void of gall, with boundless scorn of fools.' + +After having been Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, Carteret attended his +royal master in the campaign, during which the Battle of Dettingen was +fought. He now held the reins of government in his own hands as premier. +Lord Chesterfield has described him as possessing quick precision, nice +decision, and unbounded presumption. The Duke of Newcastle used to say +of him that he was a 'man who never doubted.' + +In a subsequent letter we find the sacrifice of the young and lovely +Sophia completed. Ambition was the characteristic of her family: and she +went, not unwillingly, to the altar. The whole affair is too amusingly +told to be given in other language than that of Horace:-- + +'I could tell you a great deal of news,' he writes to Horace Mann, 'but +it would not be what you would expect. It is not of battles, sieges, and +declarations of war; nor of invasions, insurrections and addresses: it +is the god of love, not he of war, who reigns in the newspapers. The +town has made up a list of six-and-thirty weddings, which I shall not +catalogue to you. But the chief entertainment has been the nuptials of +our great Quixote (Carteret) and the fair Sophia. On the point of +matrimony, she fell ill of a scarlet fever, and was given over, while he +had the gout, but heroically sent her word, that if she was well, he +_would_ be well. They corresponded every day, and he used to plague the +cabinet council with reading her letters to them. Last night they were +married; and as all he does must have a particular air in it, they +supped at Lord Pomfret's. At twelve, Lady Granville (his mother) and all +his family went to bed, but the porter: then my lord went home, and +waited for her in the lodge. She came alone, in a hackney chair, met him +in the hall, and was led up the back stairs to bed. What is ridiculously +lucky is, that Lord Lincoln goes into waiting to-day, and will be to +present her!' + +The event was succeeded by a great ball at the Duchess of Richmond's, in +honour of the bride, Lady Carteret paying her ladyship the 'highest +honours,' which she received in the 'highest state.' 'I have seen her,' +adds Horace, 'but once, and found her just what I expected, _très grande +dame_, full of herself, and yet not with an air of happiness. She looks +ill, and is grown lean, but is still the finest figure in the world. The +mother (Lady Pomfret) is not so exalted as I expected; I fancy Carteret +has kept his resolution, and does not marry her too.' + +Whilst this game was being played out, one of Walpole's most valued +neighbours, Pope, was dying of dropsy, and every evening a gentle +delirium possessed him. Again does Horace return to the theme, ever in +his thoughts--the Carterets: again does he recount their triumphs and +their follies. + +'I will not fail'--still to Horace Mann--'to make your compliments to +the Pomfrets and Carterets. I see them seldom but I am in favour; so I +conclude, for my Lady Pomfret told me the other night that I said better +things than anybody. I was with them all at a subscription ball at +Ranelagh last week, which my Lady Carteret thought proper to look upon +as given to her, and thanked the gentlemen, who were not quite so well +pleased at her condescending to take it to herself. I did the honours of +all her dress. "How charming your ladyship's cross is! I am sure the +design was your own!"--"No, indeed; my lord sent it me just as it is." +Then as much to the mother. Do you wonder I say better things than +anybody?' + +But these brilliant scenes were soon mournfully ended. Lady Sophia, the +haughty, the idolized, the Juno of that gay circle, was suddenly carried +off by a fever. With real feeling Horace thus tells the tale:-- + +'Before I talk of any public news, I must tell you what you will be very +sorry for. Lady Granville (Lady Sophia Fermor) is dead. She had a fever +for six weeks before her lying-in, and could never get it off. Last +Saturday they called in another physician, Dr. Oliver. On Monday he +pronounced her out of danger; about seven in the evening, as Lady +Pomfret and Lady Charlotte (Fermor) were sitting by her, the first +notice they had of her immediate danger was her sighing and saying, "I +feel death come very fast upon me!" She repeated the same words +frequently, remained perfectly in her senses and calm, and died about +eleven at night. It is very shocking for anybody so young, so handsome, +so arrived at the height of happiness, to be so quickly snatched away.' + +So vanished one of the brightest stars of the court. The same autumn +(1745) was the epoch of a great event; the marching of Charles Edward +into England. Whilst the Duke of Cumberland was preparing to head the +troops to oppose him, the Prince of Wales was inviting a party to +supper, the main feature of which was the citadel of Carlisle in sugar, +the company all besieging it with sugar-plums. It would, indeed, as +Walpole declared, be impossible to relate all the _Caligulisms_ of this +effeminate, absurd prince. But buffoonery and eccentricity were the +order of the day. 'A ridiculous thing happened,' Horace writes, 'when +the princess saw company after her confinement. The new-born babe was +shown in a mighty pretty cradle, designed by Kent, under a canopy in the +great drawing-room. Sir William Stanhope went to look at it. Mrs, +Herbert, the governess, advanced to unmantle it. He said, "In wax, I +suppose?" "Sir?" "In wax, madam?" "The young prince, sir?" "Yes, in wax, +I suppose?" This is his odd humour. When he went to see the duke at his +birth, he said, "Lord, it sees!"' + +The recluse of Strawberry was soon consoled by hearing that the rebels +were driven back from Derby, where they had penetrated, and where the +remembrance of the then gay, sanguine, brave young Chevalier long +lingered among the old inhabitants. One of the last traces of his +short-lived possession of the town is gone: very recently, Exeter House, +where he lodged and where he received his adherents, has been pulled +down; the ground on which it stood, with its court and garden--somewhat +in appearace like an old French hotel--being too valuable for the relic +of bygone times to be spared. The panelled chambers, the fine staircase, +certain pictures--one by Wright of Derby, of him--one of Miss +Walkinshaw--have all disappeared. + +Of the capture, the trial, the death of his adherents, Horace Walpole +has left the most graphic and therefore touching account that has been +given; whilst he calls a 'rebellion on the defensive' a 'despicable +affair.' Humane, he reverted with horror to the atrocities of General +Hawley, 'the Chief Justice,' as he was designated, who had a 'passion +for frequent and sudden executions.' When this savage commander gained +intelligence of a French spy coming over, he displayed him at once +before the army on a gallows, dangling in his muff and boots. When one +of the surgeons begged for the body of a deserter to dissect, 'Well,' +said the wretch, 'but you must let me have the skeleton to hang up in +the guard-room,' Such was the temper of the times; vice, childishness, +levity at court, brutality in the camp, were the order of the day. +Horace, even Horace, worldly in all, indifferent as to good and bad, +seems to have been heart sick. His brother's matrimonial infidelity +vexed him also sorely. Lady Orford, 'tired,' as he expresses it, of +'sublunary affairs,' was trying to come to an arrangement with her +husband, from whom she had been long separated; the price was to be, he +fancied, £2,000 a year. Meantime, during the convulsive state of +political affairs, he interested himself continually in the improvement +of Strawberry Hill. There was a rival building, Mr. Bateman's Monastery, +at Old Windsor, which is said to have had more uniformity of design than +Strawberry Hill. Horace used indeed to call the house of which he became +so proud a paper house; the walls were at first so slight, and the roof +so insecure in heavy rains. Nevertheless, his days were passed as +peacefully there as the premature infirmities which came upon him would +permit. + +From the age of twenty-five his fingers were enlarged and deformed by +chalk-stones, which were discharged twice a year. 'I can chalk up a +score with more rapidity than any man in England,' was his melancholy +jest. He had now adopted as a necessity a strict temperance: he sat up +very late, either writing or conversing, yet always breakfasted at nine +o'clock. After the death of Madame du Deffand, a little fat dog, +scarcely able to move for age and size--her legacy--used to proclaim his +approach by barking. The little favourite was placed beside him on a +sofa; a tea-kettle, stand, and heater were brought in, and he drank two +or three cups of tea out of the finest and most precious china of +Japan--that of a pure white. He breakfasted with an appetite, feeding +from his table the little dog and his pet squirrels. + +Dinner at Strawberry Hill was usually served up in the small parlour in +winter, the large dining-room being reserved for large parties. As age +drew on, he was supported down stairs by his valet; and then, says the +compiler of Walpoliana, 'he ate most moderately of chicken, pheasant, or +any light food. Pastry he disliked, as difficult of digestion, though he +would taste a morsel of venison-pie. Never but once, that he drank two +glasses of white wine, did the editor see him taste any liquor, except +ice-water. A pail of ice was placed under the table, in which stood a +decanter of water, from which he supplied himself with his favourite +beverage.' + +No wine was drunk after dinner, when the host of Strawberry Hill called +instantly to some one to ring the bell for coffee. It was served +upstairs, and there, adds the same writer, 'he would pass about five +o'clock, and generally resuming his place on the sofa, would sit till +two in the morning, in miscellaneous chit-chat, full of singular +anecdotes, strokes of wit, and acute observations, occasionally sending +for books, or curiosities, or passing to the library, as any reference +happened to arise in conversation. After his coffee, he tasted nothing; +but the snuff-box of _tabac d'etrennes_, from Fribourg's, was not +forgotten, and was replenished from a canister lodged in an ancient +marble urn of great thickness, which stood in the window seat, and +served to secure its moisture and rich flavour.' + +In spite of all his infirmities, Horace Walpole took no care of his +health, as far as out-door exercise was concerned. His friends beheld +him with horror go out on a dewy day: he would even step out in his +slippers. In his own grounds he never wore a hat: he used to say, that +on his first visit to Paris he was ashamed of his effeminacy, when he +saw every meagre little Frenchman whom he could have knocked down in a +breath walking without a hat, which he could not do without a certainty +of taking the disease which the Germans say is endemical in England, and +which they call _to catch cold_. The first trial, he used to tell his +friends, cost him a fever, but he got over it. Draughts of air, damp +rooms, windows open at his back, became matters of indifference to him +after once getting through the hardening process. He used even to be +vexed at the officious solicitude of friends on this point, and with +half a smile would say, 'My back is the same as my face, and my neck is +like my nose.' He regarded his favourite iced-water as a preservative to +his stomach, which, he said, would last longer than his bones. He did +not take into account that the stomach is usually the seat of disease. + +One naturally inquires why the amiable recluse never, in his best days, +thought of marriage: a difficult question to be answered. In men of that +period, a dissolute life, an unhappy connection, too frequently +explained the problem. In the case before us no such explanation can be +offered. Horace Walpole had many votaries, many friends, several +favourites, but no known mistress. The marks of the old bachelor +fastened early on him, more especially after he began to be governed by +his _valet de chambre_. The notable personage who ruled over the pliant +Horace was a Swiss, named Colomb. This domestic tyrant was despotic; if +Horace wanted a tree to be felled, Colomb opposed it, and the master +yielded. Servants, in those days, were intrinsically the same as in +ours, but they differed in manner. The old familiarity had not gone out, +but existed as it still does among the French. Those who recollect Dr. +Parr will remember how stern a rule his factotum Sam exercised over him. +Sam put down what wine he chose, nay, almost invited the guests; at all +events, he had his favourites among them. And in the same way as Sam +ruled at Hatton, Colomb was, _de facto,_ the master of Strawberry Hill. + +With all its defects, the little 'plaything house' as Horace Walpole +called it, must have been a charming house to visit in. First, there was +the host. 'His engaging manners,' writes the editor of Walpoliana, 'and +gentle, endearing affability to his friends, exceed all praise. Not the +smallest hauteur, or consciousness of rank or talent, appeared in his +familiar conferences; and he was ever eager to dissipate any constraint +that might occur, as imposing a constraint upon himself, and knowing +that any such chain enfeebles and almost annihilates the mental powers. +Endued with exquisite sensibility, his wit never gave the smallest +wound, even to the grossest ignorance of the world, or the most morbid +hypochondriac bashfulness.' + +He had, in fact, no excuse for being doleful or morbid. How many +resources were his! what an even destiny! what prosperous fortunes! What +learned luxury he revelled in! he was enabled to 'pick up all the roses +of science, and to leave the thorns behind.' To how few of the gifted +have the means of gratification been permitted! to how many has hard +work been allotted! Then, when genius has been endowed with rank, with +wealth, how often it has been degraded by excess! Rochester's passions +ran riot in one century: Beckford's gifts were polluted by his vices in +another--signal landmarks of each age. But Horace Walpole was prudent, +decorous, even respectable: no elevated aspirations, no benevolent views +ennobled under the _petitesse_ of his nature. He had neither genius nor +romance: he was even devoid of sentiment; but he was social to all, +neighbourly to many, and attached to some of his fellow-creatures. + +The 'prettiest bauble' possible, as he called Strawberry Hill, 'set in +enamelled meadows in filigree hedges,' was surrounded by 'dowagers as +plenty as flounders;' such was Walpole's assertion. As he sat in his +library, scented by caraway, heliotropes, or pots of tuberose, or +orange-trees in flower, certain dames would look in upon him, sometimes +_malgrê lui_, sometimes to his bachelor heart's content. + +'Thank God!' he wrote to his cousin Conway, 'the Thames is between me +and the Duchess of Queensberry!' Walpole's dislike to his fair neighbour +may partly have originated in the circumstance of her birth, and her +grace's presuming to plume herself on what he deemed an unimportant +distinction. Catherine Hyde, Duchess of Queensberry, was the +great-granddaughter of the famous Lord Clarendon, and the great-niece of +Anne, Duchess of York. Prior had in her youth celebrated her in the +'Female Phaëton,' as 'Kitty:' in his verse he begs Phaëton to give Kitty +the chariot, if but for a day. + +In reference to this, Horace Walpole, in the days of his admiration of +her grace, had made the following impromptu:-- + +'On seeing the Duchess of Queensberry walk at the funeral of the +Princess Dowager of Wales,-- + + 'To many a Kitty, Love his car + Would for a day engage; + But Prior's Kitty, ever fair, + Obtained it for an age.' + +It was Kitty who took Gay under her patronage, who resented the +prohibition of the 'Beggar's Opera,' remonstrated with the king and +queen, and was thereupon forbidden the court. She carried the poet to +her house. She may have been ridiculous, but she had a warm, generous +heart. 'I am now,' Gay wrote to Swift in 1729, 'in the Duke of +Queensberry's house, and have been so ever since I left Hampstead; where +I was carried at a time that it was thought I could not live a day. I +must acquaint you (because I know it will please you) that during my +sickness I had many of the kindest proofs of friendship, particularly +from the Duke and Duchess of Queensberry; who, if I had been their +nearest relation and dearest friend, could not have treated me with more +constant attendance then, and they continue the same to me now.' + +The duchess appears to have been one of those wilful, eccentric, spoiled +children, whom the world at once worships and ridicules: next to the +Countess of Pomfret, she was Horace Walpole's pet aversion. She was well +described as being 'very clever, very whimsical, and just not mad.' Some +of Walpole's touches are strongly confirmatory of this description. For +instance, her grace gives a ball, orders every one to come at six, to +sup at twelve, and go away directly after: opens the ball herself with a +minuet. To this ball she sends strange invitations; 'yet,' says Horace, +'except these flights, the only extraordinary thing the duchess did was +to do nothing extraordinary, for I do not call it very mad that some +pique happening between her and the Duchess of Bedford, the latter had +this distich sent to her;-- + + 'Come with a whistle--come with a call: + Come with good-will, or come not at all.' + +'I do not know whether what I am going to tell you did not border a +little upon Moorfields. The gallery where they danced was very cold. +Lord Lorn, George Selwyn, and I retired into a little room, and sat +comfortably by the fire. The duchess looked in, said nothing, and sent a +smith to take the hinges of the door oft. We understood the hint--left +the room--and so did the smith the door.' + +'I must tell you,' he adds in another letter, 'of an admirable reply of +your acquaintance, the Duchess of Queensberry: old Lady Granville, Lord +Carteret's mother, whom they call _the queen-mother_, from taking upon +her to do the honours of her son's power, was pressing the duchess to +ask her for some place for herself or friends, and assured her that she +would procure it, be it what it would. Could she have picked out a +fitter person to be gracious to? The duchess made her a most grave +curtsey, and said, "Indeed, there was one thing she had set her heart +on."--"Dear child, how you oblige me by asking anything! What is it? +Tell me."--"Only that you would speak to my Lord Carteret to get me made +lady of the bedchamber to the Queen of Hungary."' + +The duchess was, therefore, one of the dowagers, 'thick as flounders,' +whose proximity was irritating to the fastidious bachelor. There was, +however, another Kitty between whom and Horace a tender friendship +subsisted: this was Kitty Clive, the famous actress; formerly Kitty +Ruftar. Horace had given her a house on his estate, which he called +sometimes 'Little Strawberry Hill,' and sometimes 'Cliveden;' and here +Mrs. Clive lived with her brother, Mr. Ruftar, until 1785. She formed, +for her friend, a sort of outer-home, in which he passed his evenings. +Long had he admired her talents. Those were the days of the drama in all +its glory: the opera was unfashionable. There were, Horace writes in +1742, on the 26th of May, only two-and-forty people in the Opera House, +in the pit and boxes: people were running to see 'Miss Lucy in Town,' at +Drury Lane, and to admire Mrs. Clive, in her imitation of the +Muscovites; but the greatest crowds assembled to wonder at Garrick, in +'Wine Merchant turned Player;' and great and small alike rushed to +Goodman's Fields to see him act all parts, and to laugh at his admirable +mimicry. It was perhaps, somewhat in jealousy of the counter attraction, +that Horace declared he saw nothing wonderful in the acting of Garrick, +though it was then heresy to say so. 'Now I talk of players,' he adds in +the same letter, 'tell Mr. Chute that his friend Bracegirdle breakfasted +with me this morning.' Horace delighted in such intimacies, and in +recalling old times. + +Mrs. Abingdon, another charming and clever actress, was also a denizen +of Twickenham, which became the most fashionable village near the +metropolis. Mrs. Pritchard, likewise, was attracted there; but the +proximity of the Countess of Suffolk, who lived at Marble Hill was the +delight of a great portion of Horace Walpole's life. Her reminiscences, +her anecdotes, her experience, were valuable as well as entertaining to +one who was for ever gathering up materials for history, or for +biography, or for letters to absent friends. + +In his own family he found little to cheer him: but if he hated one or +two more especially--and no one could hate more intensely than Horace +Walpole--it was his uncle, Lord Wapole, and his cousin, that nobleman's +son, whom he christened Pigwiggin; 'my monstrous uncle;' 'that old +buffoon, my uncle;' are terms which occur in his letters, and he speaks +of the bloody civil wars between 'Horatio Walpole' and 'Horace Walpole.' + +Horatio Walpole, the brother of Sir Robert, was created in June, 1756, +Baron Walpole of Wolterton, as a recompense for fifty years passed in +the public service--an honour which he only survived nine months. He +expired in February, 1757. His death removed one subject of bitter +dislike from the mind of Horace; but enough remained in the family to +excite grief and resentment. + +Towards his own two brothers, Robert, Earl of Orford, and Edward +Walpole, Horace the younger, as he was styled in contradistinction to +his uncle, bore very little affection. His feelings, however, for his +nephew George, who succeeded his father as Earl of Orford in 1751, were +more creditable to his heart; yet he gives a description of this +ill-fated young man in his letters, which shows at once pride and +disapprobation. One lingers with regret over the character and the +destiny of this fine young nobleman, whose existence was rendered +miserable by frequent attacks, at intervals, of insanity. + +Never was there a handsomer, a more popular, a more engaging being than +George, third Earl of Orford. When he appeared at the head of the +Norfolk regiment of militia, of which he was colonel, even the great +Lord Chatham broke out into enthusiasm:--'Nothing,' he wrote, 'could +make a better appearance than the two Norfolk battalions; Lord Orford, +with the front of Mars himself, and really the greatest figure under +arms I ever saw, as the theme of every tongue.' His person and air, +Horace Walpole declared, had a noble wildness in them: crowds followed +the battalions when the king reviewed them in Hyde Park; and among the +gay young officers in their scarlet uniforms, faced with black, in their +buff waistcoats and gold buttons, none was so conspicuous for martial +bearing as Lord Onord, although classed by his uncle 'among the knights +of shire who had never in their lives shot anything but woodcocks.' + +But there was a peculiarity of character in the young peer which shocked +Horace. 'No man,' he says in one of his letters, 'ever felt such a +disposition to love another as I did to love him. I flattered myself +that he would restore some lustre to our house--at least not let it +totally sink; but I am forced to give him up, and all my Walpole +views.... He has a good breeding, and attention when he is with you that +is even flattering;... he promises, offers everything one can wish; but +this is all: the instant he leaves you, all the world are nothing to +him; he would not give himself the least trouble in the world to give +any one satisfaction; yet this is mere indolence of mind, not of body: +his whole pleasure is outrageous exercise.' + +'He is,' in another place Horace adds, 'the most selfish man in the +world: without being in the least interested, he loves nobody but +himself, yet neglects every view of fortune and ambition. Yet,' he +concludes, 'it is impossible not to love him when one sees him: +impossible to esteem him when one thinks on him.' + +The young lord, succeeding to an estate deeply encumbered, both by his +father and grandfather, rushed on the turf, and involved himself still +more. In vain did Horace the younger endeavour to secure for him the +hand of Miss Nicholls, an heiress with £50,000, and, to that end, placed +the young lady with Horace the elder (Lord Walpole), at Wolterton. The +scheme failed: the crafty old politician thought he might as well +benefit his own sons as his nephew, for he had himself claims on the +Houghton estate which he expected Miss Nicholl's fortune might help to +liquidate. + +At length the insanity and recklessness displayed by his nephew--the +handsome martial George--induced poor Horace to take affairs in his own +hands. His reflections, on his paying a visit to Houghton to look after +the property there, are pathetically expressed:-- + +'Here I am again at Houghton,' he writes in March, 1761, 'and alone; in +this spot where (except two hours last month) I have not been in sixteen +years. Think what a crowd of reflections!... Here I am probably for the +last time of my life: every clock that strikes, tells me I am an hour +nearer to yonder church--that church into which I have not yet had +courage to enter; where lies that mother on whom I doated, and who +doated on me! There are the two rival mistresses of Houghton, neither of +whom ever wished to enjoy it. There, too, is he who founded its +greatness--to contribute to whose fall Europe was embroiled; there he +sleeps in quiet and dignity, while his friend and his foe--rather his +false ally and real enemy--Newcastle and Bath, are exhausting the dregs +of their pitiful lives in squabbles and pamphlets. + +When he looked at the pictures--that famous Houghton collection--the +surprise of Horace was excessive. Accustomed to see nothing elsewhere +but daubs, he gazed with ecstasy on them. 'The majesty of Italian +ideas,' he says, 'almost sinks before the warm nature of Italian +colouring! Alas! don't I grow old?' + +As he lingered in the gallery, with mingled pride and sadness, a party +arrived to see the house--a man and three women in riding-dresses--who +'rode post' through the apartments. 'I could not,' he adds, 'hurry +before them fast enough; they were not so long in seeing the whole +gallery as I could have been in one room, to examine what I knew by +heart. I remember formerly being often diverted with this kind of +_seers_; they come, ask what such a room is called in which Sir Robert +lay, write it down, admire a lobster or a cabbage in a Market Piece, +dispute whether the last room was green or purple, and then hurry to the +inn, for fear the fish should be over-dressed. How different my +sensations! not a picture here but recalls a history; not one but I +remembered in Downing Street, or Chelsea, where queens and crowds +admired them, though seeing them as little as these travellers![5] + +[5: Sir Robert Walpole purchased a house and garden at Chelsea in 1722, +near the college, adjoining Gough House.--Cunningham's 'London.'] + +After tea he strolled into the garden. They told him it was now called a +_pleasure-ground._ To Horace it was a scene of desolation--a floral +Nineveh. 'What a dissonant idea of pleasure!--those groves, those +_allées_, where I have passed so many charming moments, were now +stripped up or overgrown--many fond paths I could not unravel, though +with an exact clue in my memory. I met two gamekeepers, and a thousand +hares! In the days when all my soul was tuned to pleasure and vivacity +(and you will think perhaps it is far from being out of tune yet), I +hated Houghton and its solitude; yet I loved this garden, as now, with +many regrets, I love Houghton--Houghton, I know not what to call it--a +monument of grandeur or ruin!' + +Although he did not go with the expectation of finding a land flowing +with milk and honey, the sight of all this ruin long saddened his +thoughts. All was confusion, disorder, debts, mortgages, sales, pillage, +villainy, waste, folly, and madness. The nettles and brambles in the +park were up to his shoulders; horses had been turned into the garden, +and banditti lodged in every cottage. + +The perpetuity of livings that came up to the very park-palings had been +sold, and the farms let at half their value. Certainly, if Houghton were +bought by Sir Robert Walpole with public money, that public was now +avenged. + +The owner of this ruined property had just stemmed the torrent; but the +worst was to come. The pictures were sold, and to Russia they went. + +Whilst thus harassed by family misfortunes, other annoyances came. The +mournful story of Chatterton's fate was painfully mixed up with the +tenour of Horace Walpole's life. + +The gifted and unfortunate Thomas Chatterton was born at Bristol in +1752. Even from his birth fate seemed to pursue him, for he was a +posthumous son: and if the loss of a father in the highest ranks of life +be severely felt, how much more so is it to be deplored in those which +are termed the working classes! + +The friendless enthusiast was slow in learning to read; but when the +illuminated capitals of an old book were presented to him, he quickly +learned his letters. This fact, and his being taught to read out of a +black-letter Bible, are said to have accounted for his facility in the +imitation of antiquities. Pensive and taciturn, he picked up education +at a charity-school, until apprenticed to a scrivener, when he began +that battle of life which ended to him so fatally. + +Upon very slight accidents did his destiny hinge. In those days women +worked with thread, and used thread-papers. Now paper was, at that time, +dear: dainty matrons liked tasty thread-papers. A pretty set of +thread-papers, with birds or flowers painted on each, was no mean +present for a friend. Chatterton, a quiet child, one day noticed that +his mother's thread-papers were of no ordinary materials. They were made +of parchment, and on this parchment was some of the black-letter +characters by which his childish attention had been fixed to his book. +The fact was, that his uncle was sexton to the ancient church of St. +Mary Redcliffe, at Bristol; and the parchment was the fruit of theft. +Chatterton's father had carried off, from a room in the church, certain +ancient manuscripts, which had been left about; being originally +abstracted from what was called Mr. Canynge's coffin. Mr. Canynge, an +eminent merchant, had rebuilt St. Mary Redcliffe in the reign of Edward +IV.: and the parchments, therefore, were of some antiquity. The +antiquary groans over their loss in vain: Chatterton's father had +covered his books with them; his mother had used up the strips for +thread-papers; and Thomas Chatterton himself contrived to abstract a +considerable portion also, for his own purposes. + +He was ingenious, industrious, a poet by nature, and, wonderful to say, +withal a herald by taste. Upon his nefarious possessions, he founded a +scheme of literary forgeries; purporting to be ancient pieces of poetry +found in Canynge's chest; and described as being the production of +Thomas Canynge and of his friend, one Thomas Rowley, a priest. Money and +books were sent to Chatterton in return for little strips of vellum, +which he passed off as the original itself; and the successful forger +might now be seen in deep thought, walking in the meadows near +Redcliffe; a marked, admired, poetic youth. + +In 1769, Chatterton wrote to Horace Walpole, offering to send him some +accounts of eminent painters who had flourished at Bristol, and at the +same time mentioning the discovery of the poems, and enclosing some +specimens. In a subsequent letter he begged Walpole to aid him in his +wish to be freed from his then servile condition, and to be placed in +one more congenial to his pursuits. + +In his choice of a patron poor Chatterton made a fatal mistake. The +benevolence of Horace was of a general kind, and never descended to +anything obscure or unappreciated. There was a certain hardness in that +nature of his which had so pleasant an aspect. 'An artist,' he once +said, 'has his pencils--an author his pens--and the public must reward +them as it pleases.' Alas! he forgot how long it is before penury, even +ennobled by genius, can make itself seen, heard, approved, repaid: how +vast is the influence of _prestige!_ how generous the hand which is +extended to those in want, even if in error! All that Horace did, +however, was strictly correct: he showed the poems to Gray and Mason, +who pronounced them forgeries; and he wrote a cold and reproving letter +to the starving author: and no one could blame him: Chatterton demanded +back his poems; Walpole was going to Paris, and forgot to return them. +Another letter came: the wounded poet again demanded them, adding that +Walpole would not have dared to use him so had he not been poor. The +poems were returned in a blank cover: and here all Walpole's concern +with Thomas Chatterton ends. All this happened in 1769. In August, 1770, +the remains of the unhappy youth were carried to the burial-ground of +Shoe Lane workhouse, near Holborn. He had swallowed arsenic; had +lingered a day in agonies; and then, at the age of eighteen expired. +Starvation had prompted the act: yet on the day before he had committed +it, he had refused a dinner, of which he was invited by his hostess to +partake, assuring her that he was not hungry. Just or unjust, the world +has never forgiven Horace Walpole for Chatterton's misery. His +indifference has been contrasted with the generosity of Edmund Burke to +Crabbe: a generosity to which we owe 'The Village,' 'The Borough,' and +to which Crabbe owed his peaceful old age, and almost his existence. The +cases were different; but Crabbe had his faults--and Chatterton was +worth saving. It is well for genius that there are souls in the world +more sympathizing, less worldly, and more indulgent, than those of such +men as Horace Walpole. Even the editor of 'Walpoliana' lets judgment go +by default. 'As to artists,' he says, 'he paid them what they earned, +and he commonly employed mean ones, that the reward might be smaller.' + +Let us change the strain: stilled be the mournful note on which we have +rested too long. What have wits and beaux and men of society to do with +poets and beggars? Behold, Horace, when he has written his monitory +letter, packs up for Paris. Let us follow him there, and see him in the +very centre of his pleasures--in the _salon_ of La Marquise du Deffand. + +Horace Walpole had perfected his education, as a fine gentleman, by his +intimacy with Madame Geoffrin, to whom Lady Hervey had introduced him. +She called him _le nouveau Richelieu_; and Horace was sensible of so +great a compliment from a woman at once '_spirituelle_ and _pieuse_'--a +combination rare in France. Nevertheless, she had the national views of +matrimony. 'What have you done, Madame,' said a foreigner to her, 'with +the poor man I used to see here, who never spoke a word?' + +'Ah, _mon Dieu!_ was the reply, 'that was my husband: he is dead.' She +spoke in the same tone as if she had been specifying the last new opera, +or referring to the latest work in vogue: things just passed away. + +The _Marquise du Deffaud_ was a very different personage to Madame +Geoffrin, whose great enemy she was. When Horace Walpole first entered +into the society of the Marquise, she was stone blind, and old; but +retained not only her wit, and her memory, but her passions. Passions, +like artificial flowers, are unbecoming to age: and those of the witty, +atheistical Marquise are almost revolting. Scandal still attached her +name to that of Hénault, of whom Voltaire wrote the epitaph beginning + + 'Henault, fameus par vos soupers + Et votre "chronologie,"' &c. + +Hénault was for many years deaf; and, during the whole of his life, +disagreeable. There was something farcical in the old man's receptions +on his death-bed; whilst, amongst the rest of the company came Madame du +Deffand, a blind old woman of seventy, who, bawling in his ear, aroused +the lethargic man, by inquiring after a former rival of hers, Madame de +Castelmaron--about whom he went on babbling until death stopped his +voice. + +She was seventy years of age when Horace Walpole, at fifty, became her +passion. She was poor and disreputable, and even the high position of +having been mistress to the regent could not save her from being decried +by a large portion of that society which centered round the _bel +esprit_. 'She was,' observes the biographer of Horace Walpole (the +lamented author of the 'Crescent and the Cross,') 'always gay, always +charming--everything but a Christian.' The loss of her eyesight did not +impair the remains of her beauty; her replies, her compliments, were +brilliant; even from one whose best organs of expression were mute. + +A frequent guest at her suppers, Walpole's kindness, real or pretended, +soon made inroads on a heart still susceptible. The ever-green passions +of this venerable sinner threw out fresh shoots; and she became +enamoured of the attentive and admired Englishman. Horace was +susceptible of ridicule: there his somewhat icy heart was easily +touched. Partly in vanity, partly in playfulness, he encouraged the +sentimental-exaggeration of his correspondent; but, becoming afraid of +the world's laughter, ended by reproving her warmth, and by chilling, +under the refrigerating influence of his cautions, all the romance of +the octogenarian. + +In later days, however, after his solicitude--partly soothed by the +return of his letters to Madame du Deffand, partly by her death--had +completely subsided, a happier friendship was permitted to solace his +now increasing infirmities, as well as to enhance his social pleasures. + +It was during the year 1788, when he was living in retirement at +Strawberry, that his auspicious friendship was formed. The only grain of +ambition he had left he declared was to believe himself forgotten; that +was 'the thread that had run through his life;' 'so true,' he adds, +'except the folly of being an author, has been what I said last year to +the Prince' (afterwards George IV.), 'when he asked me "If I was a +Freemason," I replied, "No sir; I never was anything."' + +Lady Charleville told him that some of her friends had been to see +Strawberry. 'Lord!' cried one lady, 'who is that Mr. Walpole?' 'Lord!' +cried a second; 'don't you know the great epicure, Mr. Walpole?' 'Who?' +cried the first,--'great epicure! you mean the antiquarian.' 'Surely,' +adds Horace, 'this anecdote may take its place in the chapter of local +fame.' + +But he reverts to his new acquisition--the acquaintance of the Miss +Berrys, who had accidentally taken a house next to his at Strawberry +Hill. Their story, he adds, was a curious one: their descent Scotch; +their grandfather had an estate of £5,000 a year, but disinherited his +son on account of his marrying a woman with no fortune. She died, and +the grandfather, wishing for an heir-male, pressed the widower to marry +again: he refused; and said he would devote himself to the education of +his two daughters. The second son generously gave up £8oo a year to his +brother, and the two motherless girls were taken to the Continent, +whence they returned the 'best informed and most perfect creatures that +Horace Walpole ever saw at their age.' + +Sensible, natural, frank, their conversation proved most agreeable to a +man who was sated of grand society, and sick of vanity until he had +indulged in vexation of spirit. He discovered by chance only--for there +was no pedantry in these truly well-educated women--that the eldest +understood Latin, and 'was a perfect Frenchwoman in her language. Then +the youngest drew well; and copied one of Lady Di Beauclerk's pictures, +'The Gipsies,' though she had never attempted colours before. Then, as +to looks: Mary, the eldest, had a sweet face, the more interesting from +being pale; with fine dark eyes that were lighted up when she spoke. +Agnes, the younger, was 'hardly to be called handsome, but almost;' with +an agreeable sensible countenance. It is remarkable that women thus +delineated--not beauties, yet not plain--are always the most fascinating +to men. The sisters doted on each other: Mary taking the lead in +society. 'I must even tell you,' Horace wrote to the Countess of Ossory, +'that they dress within the bounds of fashion, but without the +excrescences and balconies with which modern hoydens overwhelm and +barricade their persons.' (One would almost have supposed that Horace +had lived in the days of crinoline.') + +The first night that Horace met the two sisters, he refused to be +introduced to them: having heard so much of them that he concluded they +would be 'all pretension.' The second night that he met them, he sat +next Mary, and found her an 'angel both inside and out.' He did not know +which he liked best; but Mary's face, which was formed for a sentimental +novel, or, still more, for genteel comedy, riveted him, he owned. Mr. +Berry, the father, was a little 'merry man with a round face,' whom no +one would have suspected of sacrificing 'all for love, and the world +well lost.' This delightful family visited him every Sunday evening; the +region of wickenham being too 'proclamatory' for cards to be introduced +on the seventh day, conversation was tried instead; thankful, indeed, +was Horace, for the 'pearls,' as he styled them, thus thrown in his +path. His two 'Strawberries,' as he christened them, were henceforth the +theme of every letter. He had set up a printing-press many years +previously at Strawberry, and on taking the young ladies to see it, he +remembered the gallantry of his former days, and they found these +stanzas in type:-- + + 'To Mary's lips has ancient Rome + Her purest language taught; + And from the modern city home + Agnes its pencil brought. + + 'Rome's ancient Horace sweetly chants + Such maids with lyric fire; + Albion's old Horace sings nor paints, + He only can admire. + + 'Still would his press their fame record, + So amiable the pair is! + But, ah! how vain to think his word + Can add a straw to Berry's.' + +On the following day, Mary, whom he terms the Latin nymph sent the +following lines:-- + + 'Had Rome's famed Horace thus addrest + His Lydia or his Lyce, + He had ne'er so oft complained their breast + To him was cold and icy. + + 'But had they sought their joy to explain, + Or praise their generous bard, + Perhaps, like me, they had tried in vain, + And felt the task too hard.' + +The society of this family gave Horace Walpole the truest, and perhaps +the only relish he ever had of domestic life. But his mind was harassed +towards the close of the eighteenth century, by the insanity not only of +his nephew, but by the great national calamity, that of the king. 'Every +_eighty-eight_ seems,' he remarks, 'to be a favourite period with fate;' +he was 'too ancient,' he said, 'to tap what might almost be called a new +reign;' of which he was not likely to see much. He never pretended to +penetration, but his foresight, 'if he gave it the reign, would not +prognosticate much felicity to the country from the madness of his +father, and the probable regency of the Prince of Wales. His happiest +relations were now not with politics or literature, but with Mrs. Damer +and the Miss Berrys, to whom he wrote:--'I am afraid of protesting how +much I delight in your society, lest I should seem to affect being +gallant; but, if two negatives make an affirmative, why may not two +ridicules compose one piece of sense? and, therefore, as I am in love +with you both, I trust it is a proof of the good sense of your +devoted--H. WALPOLE,' + +He was doomed, in the decline of life, to witness two great national +convulsions: of the insurrection of 1745 he wrote +feelingly--justly--almost pathetically: forty-five years later he was +tired, he said, of railing against French barbarity and folly. +'Legislators! a Senate! To neglect laws, in order to annihilate +coats-of-arms and liveries!' George Selwyn said, that Monsieur the +king's brother was the only man of rank from whom they could not take a +title. His alarm at the idea of his two young friends going to the +Continent was excessive. The flame of revolution had burst forth at +Florence: Flanders was not a safe road; dreadful horrors had been +perpetrated at Avignon. Then he relates a characteristic anecdote of +poor _Marie Antoinette!_ She went with the king to see the manufacture +of glass. As they passed the Halle, the _poissardes_ hurra'd them. 'Upon +my word,' said the queen, 'these folks are civiller when you visit them, +than when they visit you.' + +Walpole's affection for the Miss Berrys cast a glow of happiness over +the fast-ebbing years of his life, 'In happy days,' he wrote to them +when they were abroad, 'I called you my dear wives; now I can only think +of you as darling children, of whom I am bereaved.' He was proud of +their affection; proud of their spending many hours with 'a very old +man,' whilst they were the objects of general admiration. These charming +women survived until our own time: the centre of a circle of the leading +characters in literature, politics, art, rank, and virtue. They are +remembered with true regret. The fulness of their age perfected the +promise of their youth. Samuel Rogers used to say that they had lived in +the reign of Queen Anne, so far back seemed their memories which were so +coupled to the past; but the youth of their minds, their feelings, their +intelligence, remained almost to the last. + +For many years Horace Walpole continued, in spite of incessant attacks +of the gout, to keep almost open house at Strawberry; in short, he said, +he kept an inn--the sign, the Gothic Castle! 'Take my advice,' he wrote +to a friend, 'never build a charming house for yourself between London +and Hampton Court; everybody will live in it but you.' + +The death of Lady Suffolk, in 1767, had been an essential loss to her +partial, and not too rigid neighbours. Two days before the death of +George II. she had gone to Kensington not knowing that there was a +review there. Hemmed in by coaches, she found herself close to George +II. and to Lady Yarmouth. Neither of them knew her--a circumstance which +greatly affected the countess. + +Horace Walpole was now desirous of growing old with dignity. He had no +wish 'to dress up a withered person, nor to drag it about to public +places;' but he was equally averse from 'sitting at home, wrapped up in +flannels,' to receive condolences from people he did not care for--and +attentions from relations who were impatient for his death. Well might a +writer in the 'Quarterly Review' remark that our most useful lessons in +reading Walpole's Letters are not only derived from his sound sense, but +from 'considering this man of the world, full of information and +sparkling with vivacity, stretched on a sick bed, and apprehending all +the tedious languor of helpless decrepitude and deserted solitude.' His +later years had been diversified by correspondence with Hannah More, who +sent him her poem of the _Bas Bleu_, into which she had introduced his +name. In 1786 she visited him at Strawberry Hill. He was then a martyr +to the gout, but with spirits gay as ever: 'I never knew a man suffer +pain with such entire patience,' was Hannah More's remark. His +correspondence with her continued regularly; but that with the charming +sisters was delightfully interrupted by their residence at little +Strawberry Hill--_Cliveden_, as it was also called, where day after day, +night after night, they gleaned stores from that rich fund of anecdote +which went back to the days of George I., touched even on the anterior +epoch of Anne, and came in volumes of amusement down to the very era +when the old man was sitting by his parlour fire, happy with his _wives_ +near him, resigned and cheerful. For his young friends he composed his +'Reminiscences of the Court of England.' + +He still wrote cheerfully of his physical state, in which eyesight was +perfect; hearing little impaired; and though his hands and feet were +crippled, he could use them; and since he neither 'wished to box, to +wrestle, nor to dance a hornpipe,' he was contented. + +His character became softer, his wit less caustic, his heart more +tender, his talk more reverent, as he approached the term of a long, +prosperous life--and knew, practically, the small value of all that he +had once too fondly prized. + +His later years were disturbed by the marriage of his niece Maria +Waldegrave to the Duke of Gloucester: but the severest interruption to +his peace was his own succession to an Earldom. + +In 1791, George, Earl of Orford, expired; leaving an estate encumbered +with debt, and, added to the bequest, a series of lawsuits threatened to +break down all remaining comfort in the mind of the uncle, who had +already suffered so much on the young man's account. + +Horace Walpole disdained the honours which brought him such solid +trouble, with such empty titles, and for some time refused to sign +himself otherwise but 'Uncle to the late Earl of Orford.' He was +certainly not likely to be able to walk in his robes to the House of +Lords, or to grace a levee. However, he thanked God he was free from +pain. 'Since all my fingers are useless,' he wrote to Hannah More, 'and +that I have only six hairs left, I am not very much grieved at not being +able to comb my head!' To Hannah More he wrote in all sincerity, +referring to his elevation to the peerage: 'For the other empty +metamorphosis that has happened to the outward man, you do me justice in +believing that it can do nothing but tease me; it is being called names +in one's old age:' in fact, he reckoned on being styled 'Lord +Methusalem.' He had lived to hear of the cruel deaths of the once gay +and high-born friends whom he had known in Paris, by the guillotine: he +had lived to execrate the monsters who persecuted the grandest heroine +of modern times, Marie Antoinette, to madness; he lived to censure the +infatuation of religious zeal in the Birmingham riots. 'Are not the +devils escaped out of the swine, and overrunning the earth +headlong?'--he asked in one of his letters. + +He had offered his hand, and all the ambitious views which it opened, to +each of the Miss Berrys successively, but they refused to bear his name, +though they still cheered his solitude: and, strange to say, two of the +most admired and beloved women of their time remained single. + +In 1796, the sinking invalid was persuaded to remove to Berkeley Square, +to be within reach of good and prompt advice. He consented unwillingly, +for his 'Gothic Castle' was his favourite abode. He left it with a +presentiment that he should see it no more; but he followed the +proffered advice, and in the spring of the year was established in +Berkeley Square. His mind was still clear. He seems to have cherished to +the last a concern for that literary fame which he affected to despise. +'Literature has,' he said, 'many revolutions; if an author could rise +from the dead, after a hundred years, what would be his surprise at the +adventures of his works! I often say, perhaps my books may be published +in Paternoster Row!' He would indeed have been astonished at the vast +circulation of his Letters, and the popularity which has carried them +into every aristocratic family in England. It is remarkable that among +the middle and lower classes they are far less known, for he was +essentially the chronicler, as well as the wit and beau, of St. James's, +of Windsor, and Richmond. + +At last he declared that he should 'be content with a sprig of rosemary' +thrown on him when the parson of the parish commits his 'dust to dust.' +The end of his now suffering existence was near at hand. Irritability, +one of the unpitied accompaniments of weakness, seemed to compete with +the gathering clouds of mental darkness as the last hour drew on. At +intervals there were flashes of a wit that appeared at that solemn +moment hardly natural, and that must have startled rather than pleased, +the watchful friends around him. He became unjust in his fretfulness, +and those who loved him most could not wish to see him survive the wreck +of his intellect. Fever came on, and he died on the 2nd of March, 1797. + +He had collected his letters from his friends: these epistles were +deposited in two boxes, one marked with an A., the other with a B. The +chest A. was not to be opened until the eldest son of his grandniece, +Lady Laura, should attain the age of twenty-five. The chest was found to +contain memoirs, and bundles of letters ready for publication. + +It was singular, at the sale of the effects at Strawberry Hill, to see +this chest, with the MSS. in the clean _Horatian_ hand, and to reflect +how poignant would have been the anguish of the writer could he have +seen his Gothic Castle given up for fourteen days, to all that could +pain the living, or degrade the dead. + +Peace to his manes, prince of letter-writers; prince companion of beaux; +wit of the highest order! Without thy pen, society in the eighteenth +century would have been to us almost as dead as the _beau monde_ of +Pompeii, or the remains of Etruscan leaders of the ton. Let us not be +ungrateful to our Horace: we owe him more than we could ever have +calculated on before we knew him through his works: prejudiced, he was +not false; cold, he was rarely cruel; egotistical, he was seldom +vain-glorious. Every age should have a Horace Walpole; every country +possess a chronicler so sure, so keen to perceive, so exact to delineate +peculiarities, manners, characters, and events. + + + +GEORGE SELWYN. + + +A Love of Horrors.--Anecdotes of Selwyn's Mother.--Selwyn's College +Days.--Orator Henley.--Selwyn's Blasphemous Freak.--The Profession +of a Wit.--The Thirst for Hazard.--Reynolds's Conversation-Piece.-- +Selwyn's Eccentricities and Witticisms.--A most Important +Communication.--An Amateur Headsman.--The Eloquence of Indifference.-- +Catching a Housebreaker.--The Family of the Selwyns.--The Man of the +People.--Selwyn's Parliamentary Career.--True Wit.---Some of Selwyn's +Witty Sayings.--The Sovereignty of the People.--On two kinds of Wit.-- +Selwyn's Love for Children.--Mie Mie, the Little Italian.--Selwyn's +Little Companion taken from him.--His Later Days and Death. + + +I have heard, at times, of maiden ladies of a certain age who found +pleasure in the affection of 'spotted snakes with double tongue, thorny +hedge-hogs, newts, and in live worms.' I frequently meet ladies who +think conversation lacks interest without the recital of 'melancholy +deaths,' 'fatal diseases,' and 'mournful cases;' _on ne dispute pas les +goûts_, and certainly the taste for the night side of nature seems +immensely prevalent among the lower orders--in whom, perhaps, the +terrible only can rouse from a sullen insensibility. What happy people! +I always think to myself, when I hear of the huge attendance on the last +tragic performance at Newgate; how very little they can see of mournful +and horrible in common life, if they seek it out so eagerly, and relish +it so thoroughly, when they find it! I don't know; for my own part, +_gaudeamus_. I have always thought that the text, 'Blessed are they that +mourn,' referred to the inner private life, not to a perpetual display +of sackcloth and ashes; but I know not. I can understand the +weeping-willow taste among people, who have too little wit or too little +Christianity to be cheerful, but it is a wonder to find the luxury of +gloom united to the keenest perception of the laughable in such a man as +George Selwyn. + +If human beings could be made pets, like Miss Tabitha's snake or toad, +Selwyn would have fondled a hangman. He loved the noble art of +execution, and was a connoisseur of the execution of the art. In +childhood he must have decapitated his rocking-horse, hanged his doll in +a miniature gallows, and burnt his baubles at mimic stakes. The man +whose calm eye was watched for the quiet sparkle that announced--and +only that ever did announce it--the flashing wit within the mind, by a +gay crowd of loungers at Arthur's, might be found next day rummaging +among coffins in a damp vault, glorying in a mummy, confessing and +preparing a live criminal, paying any sum for a relic of a dead one, or +pressing eagerly forward to witness the dying agonies of a condemned +man. + +Yet Walpole and Warner both bore the highest testimony to the goodness +of his heart; and it is impossible to doubt that his nature was as +gentle as a woman's. There have been other instances of even educated +men delighting in scenes of suffering; but in general their characters +have been more or less gross, their heads more or less insensible. The +husband of Madame Récamier went daily to see the guillotine do its vile +work during the reign of Terror; but then he was a man who never wept +over the death of a friend. The man who was devoted to a little child, +whom he adopted and treated with the tenderest care, was very different +from M. Récamier--and that he _had_ a heart there is no doubt. He was an +anomaly, and famous for being so; though, perhaps, his well-known +eccentricity was taken advantage of by his witty friends, and many a +story fathered on Selwyn which has no origin but in the brain of its +narrator. + +George Augustus Selwyn, then, famous for his wit, and notorious for his +love of horrors, was the second son of a country gentleman, of Matson, +in Gloucestershire, Colonel John Selwyn, who had been an aide-de-camp of +Marlborough's, and afterwards a frequenter of the courts of the first +two Georges. He inherited his wit chiefly from his mother, Mary, the +daughter of General Farington or Farringdon, of the county of Kent. +Walpole tells us that she figured among the beauties of the court of the +Prince and Princess of Wales, and was bedchamber-woman to Queen +Caroline. Her character was not spotless, for we hear of an intrigue, +which her own mistress imparted in confidence to the Duchess of Orleans +(the mother of the Regent: they wrote on her tomb _Cy gist l'oisiveté_, +because idleness is the _mother_ of all vice), and which eventually +found its way into the 'Utrecht Gazette.' It was Mrs. Selwyn, too, who +said to George II., that he was the last person she would ever have an +intrigue with, because she was sure he would tell the queen of it: it +was well known that that very virtuous sovereign made his wife the +confidante of his amours, which was even more shameless than young De +Sévigné's taking advice from his mother on his intrigue with Ninon de +l'Enclos. She seems to have been reputed a wit, for Walpole retails her +_mots_ as if they were worth it, but they are not very remarkable: for +instance, when Miss Pelham lost a pair of diamond earrings, which she +had borrowed, and tried to faint when the loss was discovered, some one +called for lavender-drops as a restorative. 'Pooh!' cries Mrs. Selwyn, +'give her diamond-drops.' + +George Augustus was born on the 11th of August, 1719. Walpole says that +he knew him at eight years old, and as the two were at Eton about the +same time, it is presumed that they were contemporaries there. In fact, +a list of the boys there, in 1732, furnished to Eliot Warburton, +contains the names of Walpole, Selwyn, Edgecumbe, and Conway, all in +after-life intimate friends and correspondents. From Eton to Oxford was +the natural course, and George was duly entered at Hertford College. He +did not long grace Alma Mater, for the _grand tour_ had to be made, and +London life to be begun, but he was there long enough to contract the +usual Oxford debts, which his father consented to pay more than once. It +is amusing to find the son getting Dr. Newton to write him a contrite +and respectful letter to the angry parent, to liquidate the 'small +accounts' accumulated in London and Oxford as early as 1740. Three years +later we find him in Paris, leading a gay life, and writing respectful +letters to England for more money. Previously to this, however, he had +obtained, through his father, the sinecure of Clerk of the Irons and +surveyor of the Meltings at the Mint, a comfortable little appointment, +the duties of which were performed by deputy, while its holder contented +himself with honestly acknowledging the salary, and dining once a week, +when in town, with the officers of the Mint, and at the Government's +expense. + +So far the young gentleman went on well enough, but in 1744 he returned +to England, and his rather rampant character showed itself in more than +one disgraceful affair. + +Among the London shows was Orator Henley, a clergyman and clergyman's +son, and a member of St. John's, Cambridge. He had come to London about +this time, and instituted a series of lectures on universal knowledge +and primitive Christianity. He styled himself a Rationalist, a title +then more honourable than it is now; and in grandiloquent language, +'spouted' on religious subjects to an audience admitted at a shilling +a-head. On one occasion he announced a disputation among any two of his +hearers, offering to give an impartial hearing and judgment to both. +Selwyn and the young Lord Carteret were prepared, and stood up, the one +to defend the ignorance, the other the impudence, of Orator Henley +himself; so, at least, it is inferred from a passage in D'Israeli the +Elder. The uproar that ensued can well be imagined. Henley himself made +his escape by a back door. His pulpit, all gilt, has been immortalized +by Pope, as 'Henley's gilt tub;' in which-- + + 'Imbrown'd with native bronze, lo! Henley stands, + Tuning his voice and balancing his hands.' + +The affair gave rise to a correspondence between the Orator and his +young friends; who, doubtless, came off best in the matter. + +This was harmless enough, but George's next freak was not so excusable. +The circumstances of this affair are narrated in a letter from Captain +Nicholson, his friend, to George Selwyn; and may, therefore, be relied +on. It appears that being at a certain club in Oxford, at a wine party +with his friends, George sent to a certain silversmith's for a certain +chalice, intrusted to the shopkeeper from a certain church to be +repaired in a certain manner. This being brought, Master George--then, +be it remembered, not at the delicate and frivolous age of most Oxford +boys, but at the mature one of six-and-twenty--filled it with wine, and +handing it round, used the sacred words, 'Drink this in remembrance of +me.' This was a blasphemous parody of the most sacred rite of the +Church. All Selwyn could say for himself was, that he was drunk when he +did it. The other plea, that he did it in ridicule of the +transubstantiation of the Romish Church, could not stand at all; and was +most weakly put forward. Let Oxford Dons be what they will; let them put +a stop to all religious inquiry, and nearly expel Adam Smith for reading +Hume's 'Essay on Human Nature;' let them be, as many allege, +narrow-minded, hypocritical, and ignorant; we cannot charge them with +wrong-dealing in expelling the originator of such open blasphemy, which +nothing can be found to palliate, and of which its perpetrator did not +appear to repent, rather complaining that the treatment of the Dons was +harsh. The act of expulsion was, of course, considered in the same light +by his numerous acquaintance, many of whom condoled with him on the +occasion. It is true, the Oxford Dons are often charged with injustice +and partiality, and too often the evidence is not sufficiently strong to +excuse their judgments; but in this the evidence was not denied; only a +palliative was put in, which every one can see through. The only +injustice we can discover in this case is, that the head of Hart Hall, +as Hertford College was called, seemed to have been influenced in +pronouncing his sentence of expulsion by certain previous _suspicions_, +having no bearing on the question before him, which had been entertained +by another set of tutors--those of Christchurch--where Selwyn had many +friends, and where, probably enough, he indulged in many collegian's +freaks. This knack of bringing up a mere suspicion, is truly +characteristic of the Oxford Don, and since the same Head of this +House--Dr. Newton--acknowledged that Selwyn was, during his Oxford +career, neither intemperate, dissolute, nor a gamester, it is fair to +give him the advantage of the doubt, that the judgment on the evidence +had been influenced by the consideration of 'suspicions' of former +misdeeds, which had not been proved, perhaps never committed. Knowing +the after-life of the man, we can, however, scarcely doubt that George +had led a fast life at the University, and given cause for mistrust. But +one may ask whether Dons, whose love of drinking, and whose tendency to +jest on the most solemn subjects, are well known even in the present +day, might not have treated Selwyn less harshly for what was done under +the influence of wine? To this we are inclined to reply, that no +punishment is too severe for profanation; and that drunkenness is not an +excuse, but an aggravation. Selwyn threatened to appeal, and took advice +on the matter. This, as usual, was vain. Many an expelled man, more +unjustly treated than Selwyn, has talked of appeal in vain. Appeal to +whom? To what? Appeal against men who never acknowledge themselves +wrong, and who, to maintain that they are right, will listen to evidence +which they can see is contradictory, and which they know to be +worthless! An appeal from an Oxford decision is as hopeless in the +present day as it was in Selwyn's. He wisely left it alone, but less +wisely insisted on reappearing in Oxford, against the advice of all his +friends, whose characters were lost if the ostracised man were seen +among them. + +From this time he entered upon his 'profession,' that of a wit, gambler, +club-lounger, and man about town; for these many characters are all +mixed in the one which is generally called 'a wit.' Let us remember that +he was good-hearted, and not ill-intentioned, though imbued with the +false ideas of his day. He was not a great man, but a great wit. + +The localities in which the trade of wit was plied were, then, the +clubs, and the drawing-rooms of fashionable beauties. The former were in +Selwyn's youth still limited in the number of their members, thirty +constituting a large club; and as the subscribers were all known to one +another, presented an admirable field for display of mental powers in +conversation. In fact, the early clubs were nothing more than +dining-societies, precisely the same in theory as our breakfasting +arrangements at Oxford, which were every whit as exclusive, though not +balloted for. The ballot, however, and the principle of a single black +ball suffering to negative an election were not only, under such +circumstances, excusable, but even necessary for the actual preservation +of peace. Of course, in a succession of dinner-parties, if any two +members were at all opposed to one other, the awkwardness would be +intolerable. In the present day, two men may belong to the same club and +scarcely meet even on the stairs, oftener than once or twice in a +season. + +Gradually, however, in the place of the 'feast of reason and flow of +soul' and wine, instead of the evenings spent in toasting, talking, +emptying bottles and filling heads, as in the case of the old Kit-kat, +men took to the monstrous amusement of examining fate, and on +club-tables the dice rattled far more freely than the glasses, though +these latter were not necessarily abandoned. Then came the thirst for +hazard that brought men early in the day to try their fortune, and thus +made the club-room a lounge. Selwyn was an habitual frequenter of +Brookes.' + +Brookes' was, perhaps, the principal club of the day, though 'White's +Chocolate House' was almost on a par with it. But Selwyn did not confine +his attention solely to this club. It was the fashion to belong to as +many of them as possible, and Wilberforce mentions no less than five to +which he himself belonged: Brookes', Boodle's, White's, Miles and +Evans's in New Palace Yard, and Goosetree's. As their names imply, these +were all, originally, mere coffee-houses, kept by men of the above +names. One or two rooms then sufficed for the requirements of a small +party, and it was not till the members were greatly increased that the +coffee-house rose majestically to the dignity of a bow-window, and was +entirely and exclusively appropriated to the requirements of the club. + +This was especially the case with White's, of which so many of the wits +and talkers of Selwyn's day were members. Who does not know that +bow-window at the top of St. James's Street, where there are sure, about +three or four in the afternoon, to be at least three gentlemen, two old +and one young, standing, to the exclusion of light within, talking and +contemplating the oft-repeated movement outside. White's was established +as early as 1698, and was thus one of the original coffee-houses. It was +then kept by a man named Arthur: here Chesterfield gamed and talked, to +be succeeded by Gilly Williams. Charles Townshend, and George Selwyn. +The old house was burnt down in 1733. It was at White's--or as Hogarth +calls it in his pictorial squib, Black's--that, when a man fell dead at +the door, he was lugged in and bets made as to whether he was dead or +no. The surgeon's operations were opposed, for fear of disturbing the +bets. Here, too, did George Selwyn and Charles Townshend pit their wit +against wit; and here Pelham passed all the time he was not forced to +devote to politics. In short it was, next to Brookes', the club of the +day, and perhaps in some respects had a greater renown than even that +famous club, and its play was as high. + +In Brookes' and White's Selwyn appeared with a twofold fame, that of a +pronouncer of _bon-mots_ and that of a lover of horrors. His wit was of +the quaintest order. He was no inveterate talker, like Sydney Smith; no +clever dissimulator, like Mr. Hook. Calmly, almost sanctimoniously, he +uttered those neat and telling sayings which the next day passed over +England as 'Selwyn's last.' Walpole describes his manner admirably---his +eyes turned up, his mouth set primly, a look almost of melancholy in his +whole face. Reynolds, in his Conversation-piece, celebrated when in the +Strawberry Collection, and representing Selwyn leaning on a chair, Gilly +Williams, crayon in hand, and Dick Edgecumbe by his side, has caught the +pseudo-solemn expression of his face admirably. The ease of the figure, +one hand _empochée_, the other holding a paper of epigrams, or what not, +the huge waistcoat with a dozen buttons and huge flaps, the ruffled +sleeve, the bob-wig, all belong to the outer man; but the calm, quiet, +almost enquiring face, the look half of melancholy, half of reproach, +and, as the Milesian would say, the other half of sleek wisdom; the long +nose, the prim mouth and joined lips, the elevated brow, and beneath it +the quiet contemplative eye, contemplative not of heaven or hell, but of +this world as it had seen it, in its most worldly point of view, yet +twinkling with a flashing thought of incongruity made congruous, are the +indices of the inner man. Most of our wits, it must have been seen, have +had some other interest and occupation in life than that of 'making +wit:' some have been authors, some statesmen, some soldiers, some +wild-rakes, and some players of tricks: Selwyn had no profession but +that of _diseur de bons mots_; for though he sat in the House, ne took +no prominent part in politics; though he gambled extensively, he did not +game for the sake of money only. Thus his life was that merely of a +London bachelor, with few incidents to mark it, and therefore his memoir +must resolve itself more or less into a series of anecdotes of his +eccentricities and list of his witticisms. + +His friend Walpole gives us an immense number of both, not all of a +first-rate nature, nor many interesting in the present day. Selwyn, calm +as he was, brought out his sayings on the spur of the moment, and their +appropriateness to the occasion was one of their greatest +recommendations. A good saying, like a good sermon, depends much on its +delivery, and loses much in print. Nothing less immortal than wit! To +take first, however, the eccentricities of his character, and especially +his love of horrors, we find anecdotes by the dozen retailed of him. It +was so well known, that Lord Holland, when dying, ordered his servant to +be sure to admit Mr. Selwyn if he called to enquire after him, 'for if I +am alive,' said he, 'I shall be glad to see him, and if I am dead, he +will be glad to see me.' The name of Holland leads us to an anecdote +told by Walpole. Selwyn was looking over Cornbury with Lord Abergavenny +and Mrs. Frere, 'who loved one another a little,' and was disgusted with +the frivolity of the woman who could take no interest in anything worth +seeing. 'You don't know what you missed in the other room,' he cried at +last, peevishly. 'Why, what?'--'Why, my Lord Holland's picture.'--'Well, +what is my Lord Holland to me?' 'Don't you know,' whispered the wit +mysteriously, 'that Lord Holland's body lies in the same vault in +Kensington Church with my Lord Abergavenny's mother?' 'Lord! she was so +obliged,' says Walpole, 'and thanked him a thousand times!' + +Selwyn knew the vaults as thoroughly as old Anthony Wood knew the +brasses. The elder Craggs had risen by the favour of Marlborough, whose +footman he had been, and his son was eventually a Secretary of State. +Arthur Moore, the father of James Moore Smyth, of whom Pope wrote-- + + 'Arthur, whose giddy son neglects the laws, + Imputes to me and my damned works the cause' + +had worn a livery too. When Craggs got into a coach with him, he +exclaimed, 'Why, Arthur, I am always getting up behind, are not you?' +Walpole having related this story to Selwyn, the latter told him, as a +most important communication, that Arthur Moore had had his coffin +chained to that of his mistress. 'Lord! how do you know?' asked Horace. +'Why, I saw them the other day in a vault at St. Giles's.' 'Oh! Your +servant, Mr. Selwyn,' cried the man who showed the tombs at Westminster +Abbey, 'I expected to see _you_ here the other day when the old Duke of +Richmond's body was taken up.' + +Criminals were, of course, included in his passion. Walpole affirms that +he had a great share in bringing Lord Dacre's footman, who had murdered +the butler, to confess his crime. In writing the confession, the +ingenious plush coolly stopped and asked how 'murdered' was spelt. But +it mattered little to George whether the criminal were alive or dead, +and he defended his eccentric taste with his usual wit; when rallied by +some women for going to see the Jacobite Lord Lovat's head cut off, he +retorted, sharply--'I made full amends, for I went to see it sewn on +again.' He had indeed done so, and given the company at the undertaker's +a touch of his favourite blasphemy, for when the man of coffins had done +his work and laid the body in its box, Selwyn, imitating the voice of +the Lord Chancellor at the trial, muttered, 'My Lord Lovat, you may +_rise_.' He said a better thing on the trial of a confederate of +Lovat's, that Lord Kilmarnock, with whom the ladies fell so desperately +in love as he stood on his defence. Mrs. Bethel, who was famous for a +_hatchet-face,_ was among the fair spectators: 'What a shame it is,' +quoth the wit, 'to turn her face to the prisoners before they are +condemned!' Terrible, indeed, was that instrument of death to those men, +who had in the heat of battle so gallantly met sword and blunderbuss. +The slow, sure approach of the day of the scaffold was a thousand times +worse than the roar of cannon. Lord Cromarty was pardoned, solely, it +was said, from pity for his poor wife, who was at the time of the trial +far advanced in pregnancy. It was affirmed that the child born had a +distinct mark of an axe on his neck. _Credat Judæus_! Walpole used to +say that Selwyn never thought but _à la tête tranchée_, and that when he +went to have a tooth drawn, he told the dentist he would drop his +handkerchief by way of signal. Certain it is that he did love an +execution, whatever he or his friends may have done to remove the +impression of this extraordinary taste. Some better men than Selwyn have +had the same, and Macaulay accuses Penn of a similar affection. The best +known anecdote of Selwyn's peculiarity relates to the execution of +Damiens, who was torn with red-hot pincers, and finally quartered by +four horses, for the attempt to assassinate Louis XV. On the day fixed, +George mingled with the crowd plainly dressed, and managed to press +forward close to the place of torture. The executioner observing him, +eagerly cried out, '_Faites place pour Monsieur; c'est un Anglais et un +amateur_;' or, as another version goes, he was asked if he was not +himself a _bourreau_.--'_Non, Monsieur,_' he is said to have answered, +'_je n'ai pas cet honneur, je ne suis qu'un amateur._' The story is more +than apocryphal, for Selwyn is not the only person of whom it has been +told; and he was even accused, according to Wraxall, of going to +executions in female costume. George Selwyn must have passed as a +'remarkably fine woman,' in that case. + +It is only justice to him to say that the many stories of his attending +executions were supposed to be inventions of Sir Charles Hanbury +Williams, another wit, and of Chesterfield, another, and a rival. In +confirmation, it is adduced that when the former had been relating some +new account, and an old friend of Selwyn's expressed his surprise that +he had never heard the tale before, the hero of it replied quietly, 'No +wonder at all, for Sir Charles has just invented it, and knows that I +will not by contradiction spoil the pleasure of the company he is so +highly entertaining.' + +Wit has been called 'the eloquence of indifference;' no one seems ever +to have been so indifferent about everything, but his little daughter, +as George Selwyn. He always, however, took up the joke, and when asked +why he had not been to see one Charles Fox, a low criminal, hanged at +Tyburn, answered, quietly, 'I make a point of never going to +_rehearsals_.' + +Selwyn's love for this kind of thing, to believe his most intimate +friend, Horace Walpole, was quite a fact. His friend relates that he +even bargained for the High Sheriff's wand, after it was broken, at the +condemnation of the gallant Lords, but said, 'that he behaved so like an +attorney the first day, and so like a pettifogger the second, that he +would not take it to light his fire with.' + +The State Trials, of course, interested George more than any other in +his eventless life; he dined after the sentence with the celebrated Lady +Townshend, who was so devoted to Lord Kilmarnock-- + + 'Pitied by gentle minds, Kilmarnock died'--Johnson. + +that she is said to have even stayed under his windows, when he was in +prison; but he treated her anxiety with such lightness that the lady +burst into tears, and 'flung up-stairs.' 'George,' writes Walpole to +Montague, 'cooly took Mrs. Dorcas, her woman, and bade her sit down to +finish the bottle.--"And pray," said Dorcas, "do you think my lady will +be prevailed upon to let me go and see the execution? I have a friend +that has promised to take care of me, and I can lie in the Tower the +night before." Could she have talked so pleasantly to Selwyn?' + +His contemporaries certainly believed in his love for Newgatism; for +when Walpole had caught a housebreaker in a neighbour's area, he +immediately despatched a messenger to White's for the philo-criminalist, +who was sure to be playing at the Club any time before daylight. It +happened that the drawer at the 'Chocolate-house' had been himself +lately robbed, and therefore stole to George with fear and trembling, +and muttered mysteriously to him, 'Mr. Walpole's compliments, and he has +got a housebreaker for you.' Of course Selwyn obeyed the summons +readily, and the event concluded, as such events do nine times out of +ten, with a quiet capture, and much ado about nothing. + +The Selwyns were a powerful family in Gloucestershire, owning a great +deal of property in the neighbourhood of Gloucester itself. The old +colonel had represented that city in Parliament for many years. On the +5th of November, 1751, he died. His eldest son had gone a few months +before him. This son had been also at Eton, and was an early friend of +Horace Walpole and General Conway. His death left George sole heir to +the property, and very much he seemed to have needed the heritage. + +The property of the Selwyns lay in the picturesque district of the +Northern Cotswolds. Anybody who has passed a day in the dull city of +Gloucester, which seems to break into anything like life only at an +election, lying dormant in the intervals, has been glad to rush out to +enjoy air and a fine view on Robin Hood's Hill, a favourite walk with +the worthy citizens, though what the jovial archer of merry Sherwood had +to do with it, or whether he was ever in Gloucestershire at all, I +profess I know not. Walpole describes the hill with humorous +exaggeration. 'It is lofty enough for an alp, yet is a mountain of turf +to the very top, has wood scattered all over it, springs that long to be +cascades in many places of it, and from the summit it beats even Sir +George Littleton's views, by having the city of Gloucester at its foot, +and the Severn widening to the horizon.' On the very summit of the next +hill, Chosen-down, is a solitary church, and the legend saith that the +good people who built it did so originally at the foot of the steep +mount, but that the Virgin Mary carried up the stones by night, till the +builder, in despair, was compelled to erect it on the top. Others +attribute the mysterious act to a very different personage, and with +apparently more reason, for the position of the church must keep many an +old sinner from hearing service. + +At Matson, then, on Robin Hood's Hill, the Selwyns lived; Walpole says +that the 'house is small, but neat. King Charles lay here at the seige, +and the Duke of York, with typical fury, hacked and hewed the +window-shutters of his chamber as a memorandum of his being there. And +here is the very flowerpot and counterfeit association for which Bishop +Sprat was taken up, and the Duke of Marlborough sent to the Tower. The +reservoirs on the hill supply the city. The late Mr. Selwyn governed the +borough by them--and I believe by some wine too.' Probably, or at least +by some beer, if the modern electors be not much altered from their +forefathers. + +Besides this important estate, the Selwyns had another at Ludgershall, +and their influence there was so complete, that they might fairly be +said to _give_ one seat to any one they chose. With such double barrels +George Selwyn was, of course, a great gun in the House, but his interest +lay far more in piquet and pleasantry than in politics and patriotism, +and he was never fired off with any but the blank cartridges of his two +votes. His parliamentary career, begun in 1747, lasted more than forty +years, yet was entirely without distinction. He, however, amused both +parties with his wit, and by _snoring in unison_ with Lord North. This +must have been trying to Mr. Speaker Cornwall, who was longing, no +doubt, to snore also, and dared not. He was probably the only Speaker +who presided over so august an assembly as our English Parliament with a +pewter pot of porter at his elbow, sending for more and more to +Bellamy's till his heavy eyes closed of themselves. A modern M.P., +carried back by some fancies to 'the Senate' of those days, might +reasonably doubt whether his guide had not taken him by mistake to some +Coal-hole or Cider-cellar, presided over by some former Baron Nicholson, +and whether the furious eloquence of Messrs. Fox, Pitt, and Burke were +not got up for the amusement of an audience admitted at sixpence a head. + +Selwyn's political jokes were the delight of Bellamy's! He said that Fox +and Pitt reminded him of Hogarth's Idle and Industrious Apprentices. +When asked by some one, as he sauntered out of the house--'Is the House +up?' he replied; 'No, but Burke is.' The length of Burke's elaborate +spoken essays was proverbial, and obtained for him the name of the +'Dinner-bell.' Fox was talking one day at Brookes' of the advantageous +peace he had made with France, and that he had even induced that country +to give up the _gum_ trade to England. 'That, Charles,' quoth Selwyn, +sharply, 'I am not at all surprised at; for having drawn your _teeth_, +they would be d----d fools to quarrel with you about gums.' Fox was +often the object of his good-natured satire. As every one knows, his +boast was to be called 'The Man of the People,' though perhaps he cared +as little for the great unwashed as for the wealth and happiness of the +waiters at his clubs.' Every one knows, too, what a dissolute life he +led for many years. Selwyn's sleepiness was well known. He slept in the +House; he slept, after losing £8oo 'and with as many more before him,' +upon the gaming-table, with the dice-box 'stamped close to his ears;' he +slept, or half-slept, even in conversation, which he seems to have +caught by fits and starts. Thus it was that words he heard suggested +different senses, partly from being only dimly associated with the +subject on the _tapis_. So, when, they were talking around of the war, +and whether it should be a sea war or a Continent war, Selwyn woke up +just enough to say, 'I am for a sea war and a _Continent_ admiral.' + +When Fox had ruined himself, and a subscription for him was talked of, +some one asked how they thought 'he would take it.'--'Take it,' cried +Selwyn, suddenly lighting up, 'why, _quarterly_ to be sure.' + +His parliamentary career was then quite uneventful; but at the +dissolution in 1780, he found that his security at Gloucester was +threatened. He was not Whig enough for that constituency, and had +throughout supported the war with America. He offered himself, of +course, but was rejected with scorn, and forced to fly for a seat to +Ludgershall. Walpole writes to Lady Ossory: 'They' (the Gloucester +people) 'hanged him in effigy, and dressed up a figure of Mie-Mie' (his +adopted daughter), 'and pinned on its breast these words, alluding to +the gallows:--"This is what I told you you would come to!"' From +Gloucester he went to Ludgershall, where he was received by ringing of +bells and bonfires. 'Being driven out of my capital,' said he, 'and +coming into that country of turnips, where I was adored, I seemed to be +arrived in my Hanoverian dominions'--no bad hit at George II. For +Ludgershall he sat for many years, with Sir Nathaniel Wraxall, whose +'Memoirs' are better known than trusted, as colleague. That writer says +of Selwyn, that he was 'thoroughly well versed in our history, and +master of many curious as well as secret anecdotes, relative to the +houses of Stuart and Brunswick.' + +Another _bon-mot_, not in connection with politics, is reported by +Walpole as incomparable.' Lord George Gordon asked him if the +Ludgershall electors would take him (Lord George) for Ludgershall, +adding, 'if you would recommend me, they would choose me, if I came from +the coast of Africa.'--'That is according to what part of the coast you +came from; they would certainly, if you came from the Guinea coast.' +'Now, Madam,' writes his friend, 'is not this true inspiration as well +as true wit? Had any one asked him in which of the four quarters of the +world Guinea is situated, could he have told?' Walpole did not perhaps +know master George thoroughly--he was neither so ignorant nor so +indifferent as he seemed. His manner got him the character of being +both; but he was a still fool that ran deep. + +Though Selwyn did little with his two votes, he made them pay; and in +addition to the post in the Mint, got out of the party he supported +those of Registrar to the Court of Chancery in the Island of Barbadoes, +a sinecure done by deputy, Surveyor of the Crown Lands, and Paymaster to +the Board of Works. The wits of White's added the title of +'Receiver-General of Waif and Stray Jokes.' It is said that his +hostility to Sheridan arose from the latter having lost him the office +in the Works in 1782, when Burke's Bill for reducing the Civil List came +into operation; but this is not at all probable, as his dislike was +shown long before that period. Apropos of the Board of Works, Walpole +gives another anecdote. On one occasion, in 1780, Lord George Gordon had +been the only opponent on a division. Selwyn afterwards took him in his +carriage to White's. 'I have brought,' said he, 'the whole Opposition in +my coach, and I hope one coach will always hold them, if they mean to +take away the Board of Works.' + +Undoubtedly, Selwyn's wit wanted the manner of the man to make it so +popular, for, as we read it, it is often rather mild. To string a list +of them together:--Lady Coventry showed him her new dress all covered +with spangles as large as shillings. 'Bless my soul,' said he, 'you'll +be change for a guinea.' + +Fox, debtor and bankrupt as he was, had taken lodgings with Fitzpatrick +at an oilman's in Piccadilly. Every one pitied the landlord, who would +certainly be ruined. 'Not a bit of it,' quoth George; 'he'll have the +credit of keeping at his house the finest pickles in London.' + +Sometimes there was a good touch of satire on his times. When 'High Life +Below Stairs' was first acted, Selwyn vowed he would go and see it, for +he was sick of low life above stairs; and when a waiter at his Club had +been convicted of felony, 'What a horrid idea,' said he, 'the man will +give of _us_ in Newgate!' + +Dining with Bruce, the Abyssinian traveller, he heard him say, in answer +to a question about musical instruments in the East, 'I believe I saw +one _lyre_ there.'--'Ay,' whispered the wit to his neighbour, 'and +there's one less since he left the country.' Bruce shared the +travellers' reputation of drawing the long-bow to a very considerable +extent. + +Two of Selwyn's best _mots_ were about one of the Foley family, who were +so deeply in debt that they had 'to go to Texas,' or Boulogne, to escape +the money-lenders. 'That,' quoth Selwyn, 'is a _pass-over_ which will +not be much relished by the Jews.' And again, when it was said that they +would be able to cancel their father's old will by a new-found one, he +profanely indulged in a pun far too impious to be repeated in our day, +however it may have been relished in Selwyn's time. + +A picture called 'The Daughter of Pharaoh' in which the Princess Royal +and her attendant ladies figured as the saver of Moses and her +handmaids, was being exhibited in 1782, at a house opposite Brookes', +and was to be the companion-piece to Copley's 'Death of Chatham.' George +said he could recommend a better companion, to wit--the 'Sons of +Pharaoh' at the opposite house. It is scarcely necessary to explain that +pharaoh or faro was the most popular game of hazard then played. + +Walking one day with Lord Pembroke, and being besieged by a troop of +small chimney-climbers, begging--Selwyn, after bearing their importunity +very calmly for some time, suddenly turned round, and with the most +serious face thus addressed them--'I have often heard of the sovereignty +of the people; I suppose your highnesses are in Court mourning,' We can +well imagine the effect of this sedate speech on the astonished +youngsters. + +Pelham's truculency was well known. Walpole and his +friend went to the sale of his plate in 1755. 'Lord,' said the wit, 'how +many toads have been eaten off these plates!' + +[Illustration: SELWYN ACKNOWLEDGES THE "SOVEREIGNTY OF THE PEOPLE."] + +The jokes were not always very delicate. When, in the middle of the +summer of 1751, Lord North, who had been twice married before, espoused +the widow of the Earl of Rockingham, who was fearfully stout, Selwyn +suggested that she had been kept in ice for three days before the +wedding. So, too, when there was talk of another _embonpoint_ personage +going to America during the war, he remarked that she would make a +capital _breast_-work. + +One of the few epigrams he ever wrote--if not the only one, of which +there is some doubt--was in the same spirit. It is on the discovery of a +pair of shoes in a certain lady's bed-- + + Well may Suspicion shake its head-- + Well may Clorinda's spouse be jealous, + When the dear wanton takes to bed + Her very shoes--because they're fellows. + +Such are a few specimens of George Selwyn's wit; and dozens more are +dispersed though Walpole's Letters. As Eliot Warburton remarks, they do +not give us a very high idea of the humour of the period; but two things +must be taken into consideration before we deprecate their author's +title to the dignity and reputation he enjoyed so abundantly among his +contemporaries; they are not necessarily the _best_ specimens that might +have been given, if more of his _mots_ had been preserved; and their +effect on his listeners depended more on the manner of delivery than on +the matter. That they were improvised and unpremeditated is another +important consideration. It is quite unfair to compare them, as +Warburton does, with the hebdomadal trash of 'Punch,' though perhaps +they would stand the comparison pretty well. It is one thing to force +wit with plenty of time to invent and meditate it--another to have so +much wit within you that you can bring it out on any occasion; one thing +to compose a good fancy for _money_--another to utter it only when it +flashes through the brain. + +But it matters little what we in the present day may think of Selwyn's +wit, for conversation is spoiled by bottling, and should be drawn fresh +when wanted. Selwyn's companions--all men of wit, more or less, affirmed +him to be the most amusing man of his day, and that was all the part he +had to play. No real wit ever hopes to _talk_ for posterity; and written +wit is of a very different character to the more sparkling, if less +solid, creations of a moment. + +We have seen Selwyn in many points of view, not all very creditable to +him; first, expelled from Oxford for blasphemy; next, a professed +gambler and the associate of men who led fashion in those days, it is +true, but then it was very bad fashion; then as a lover of hangmen, a +wit and a lounger. There is reason to believe that Selwyn, though less +openly reprobate than many of his associates, was, in his quiet way, +just as bad as any of them, if we except the Duke of Queensberry, his +intimate friend, or the disgusting 'Franciscans' of Medmenham Abbey, of +whom, though not the founder, nor even a member, he was, in a manner, +the suggester in his blasphemy. + +But Selwyn's real character is only seen in profile in all these +accounts. He had at the bottom of such vice, to which his position, and +the fashion of the day introduced him, a far better heart than any of +his contemporaries, and in some respects a kind of simplicity which was +endearing. He was neither knave nor fool. He was not a voluptuary, like +his friend the duke; nor a continued drunkard, like many other 'fine +gentlemen' with whom he mixed; nor a cheat, though a gambler; nor a +sceptic, like his friend Walpole; nor a blasphemer, like the Medmenham +set, though he had once parodied profanely a sacred rite; nor was he +steeped in debt, as Fox was; nor does he appear to have been a practised +seducer, as too many of his acquaintance were. Not that these negative +qualities are to his praise; but if we look at the age and the society +around him, we must, at least, admit that Selwyn was not one of the +worst of that wicked set. + +But the most pleasing point in the character of the old bachelor--for he +was _too much_ of a wit ever to marry--is his affection for +children--not his own. That is, not avowedly his own, for it was often +suspected that the little ones he took up so fondly bore some +relationship to him, and there can be little doubt that Selwyn, like +everybody else in that evil age, had his intrigues. He did not die in +his sins, and that is almost all we can say for him. He gave up gaming +in time, protesting that it was the bane of four much better +things--health, money, time, and thinking. For the last two, perhaps, he +cared little. Before his death he is said to have been a Christian, +which was a decided rarity in the fashionable set of his day. Walpole +answered, when asked if he was a Freemason, that he never had been +_anything_, and probably most of the men of the time would, if they had +had the honesty, have said the same. They were not atheists professedly, +but they neither believed in nor practised Christianity. + +His love for children has been called one of his eccentricities. It +would be a hard name to give it if he had not been a club-lounger of his +day. I have sufficient faith in human nature to trust that two-thirds of +the men of this country have that most amiable eccentricity. But in +Selwyn it amounted to something more than in the ordinary paterfamilias: +it was almost a passion. He was almost motherly in his celibate +tenderness to the little ones to whom he took a fancy. This affection he +showed to several of the children, sons or daughters, of his friends; +but to two especially, Anne Coventry and Maria Fagniani. + +The former was the daughter of the beautiful Maria Gunning, who became +Countess of Coventry. Nanny, as he called her, was four years old when +her mother died, and from that time he treated her almost as his own +child. + +But Mie-Mie, as the little Italian was called, was far more favoured. +Whoever may have been the child's father, her mother was a rather +beautiful and very immoral woman, the wife of the Marchese Fagniani. She +seems to have desired to make the most for her daughter out of the +extraordinary rivalry of the two English 'gentlemen,' and they were +admirably taken in by her. Whatever the truth may have been, Selwyn's +love for children showed itself more strongly in this case than in any +other; and, oddly enough, it seems to have begun when the little girl +was at an age when children scarcely interest other men than their +fathers--in short, in infancy. Her parents allowed him to have the sole +charge of her at a very early age, when they returned to the Continent; +but in 1777, the marchioness, being then in Brussels, claimed her +daughter back again; though less, it seems, from any great anxiety on +the child's account, than because her husband's parents, in Milan, +objected to their grand-daughter being left in England; and also, not a +little, from fear of the voice of Mrs. Grundy. Selwyn seems to have used +all kinds of arguments to retain the child; and a long correspondence +took place, which the marchesa begins with, 'My very dear friend,' and +many affectionate expressions, and concludes with a haughty 'Sir,' and +her opinion that his conduct was 'devilish.' The affair was, therefore, +clearly a violent quarrel, and Selwyn was obliged at last to give up the +child. He had a carriage fitted up for her expressly for her journey; +made out for her a list of the best hotels on her route; sent his own +confidential man-servant with her, and treasured up among his 'relics' +the childish little notes, in a large scrawling hand, which Mie-Mie sent +him. Still more curious was it to see this complete man of the world, +this gambler for many years, this club-lounger, drinker, associate of +well-dressed blasphemers, of Franciscans of Medmenham Abbey, devoting, +not his money only, but his very time to this mere child, leaving town +in the height of the season for dull Matson, that she might have fresh +air; quitting his hot club-rooms, his nights spent at the piquet-table, +and the rattle of the dice, for the quiet, pleasant terraces of his +country-house, where he would hold the little innocent Mie-Mie by her +tiny hand, as she looked up into his shrivelled dissipated face; +quitting the interchange of wit, the society of the Townshends, the +Walpoles, the Williamses, the Edgecumbes; all the jovial, keen wisdom of +Gilly, and Dick, and Horace, and Charles, as they called one another, +for the meaningless prattle, the merry laughter of this half-English, +half-Italian child, It redeems Selwyn in our eyes, and it may have done +him real good: nay, he must have felt a keen refreshment in this change +from vice to innocence; and we understand the misery he expressed, when +the old bachelor's one little companion and only pure friend was taken +away from him. His love for the child was well known in London society; +and of it did Sheridan's friends take advantage, when they wanted to get +Selwyn out of Brookes', to prevent his black-balling the dramatist. The +anecdote is given in the next memoir. + +In his later days Selwyn still haunted the clubs, hanging about, sleepy, +shrivelled, dilapidated in face and figure, yet still respected and +dreaded by the youngsters, as the 'celebrated Mr. Selwyn.' The wit's +disease--gout--carried him off at last, in 1791, at the age of +seventy-two. + +He left a fortune which was not contemptible: £33,000 of it were to go +to Mie-Mie--by this time a young lady--and as the Duke of Queensberry, +at his death, left her no less than £150,000, Miss was by no means a bad +match for Lord Yarmouth.[6] See what a good thing it is to have three +papas, when two of them are rich! The duke made Lord Yarmouth his +residuary legatee, and between him and his wife divided nearly +half-a-million. + +[6: Afterwards the well-known and dissolute Marquis of Hertford.] + +Let us not forget in closing this sketch of George Selwyn's life, that, +gambler and reprobate as he was, he possessed some good traits, among +which his love of children appears in shining colours. + + + +RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN. + +Sheridan a Dunce.--Boyish Dreams of Literary Fame.--Sheridan in Love.--A +Nest of Nightingales.--The 'Maid of Bath.'--Captivated by Genius.-- +Sheridan's Elopement with 'Cecilia.'--His Duel with Captain Matthews.-- +Standards of Ridicule.--Painful Family Estrangements.--Enters Drury Lane. +--Success of the Famous 'School for Scandal.'--Opinions of Sheridan and +his Influence.--The Literary Club.--Anecdote of Garrick's Admittance.-- +Origin of the 'Rejected Addresses.'--New Flights.--Political Ambition.-- +The Gaming Mania.--Almacks'.--Brookes'.--Black-balled.--Two Versions of +the Election Trick.--St. Stephen's Won.--Vocal Difficulties.--Leads a +Double Life.--Pitt's Vulgar Attack.--Sheridan's Happy Retort.--Grattan's +Quip.--Sheridan's Sallies.--The Trial at Warren Hastings.--Wonderful +Effect of Sheridan's Eloquence.--The Supreme Effort.--The Star +Culminates.--Native Taste for Swindling.--A Shrewd but Graceless +Oxonian.--Duns Outwitted.--The Lawyer Jockeyed.--Adventures with +Bailiffs.--Sheridan's Powers of Persuasion.--House of Commons Greek.-- +Curious Mimicry.--The Royal Boon Company.--Street Frolics at Night.--An +Old Tale.--'All's well that ends well.'--The Fray in St. Giles.'-- +Unopened Letters.--An Odd Incident.--Reckless Extravagance.--Sporting +Ambition.--Like Father like Son.--A Severe and Witty Rebuke.-- +Intemperance.--Convivial Excesses of a Past Day.--Worth wins at last.-- +Bitter Pangs.--The Scythe of Death.--Sheridan's Second Wife.--Debts of +Honour.--Drury Lane Burnt.--The Owner's Serenity.--Misfortunes never come +Singly.--The Whitbread Quarrel.--Ruined.--Undone and almost Forsaken.-- +The Dead Man Arrested.--The Stories fixed on Sheridan.--Extempore Wit and +Inveterate Talkers. + + +Poor Sheridan! gambler, spendthrift, debtor, as thou wert, what is it +that shakes from our hand the stone we would fling at thee? Almost, we +must confess it, thy very faults; at least those qualities which seem to +have been thy glory and thy ruin: which brought thee into temptation; to +which, hadst thou been less brilliant, less bountiful, thou hadst never +been drawn. What is it that disarms us when we review thy life, and +wrings from us a tear when we should utter a reproach? Thy punishment; +that bitter, miserable end; that long battling with poverty, debt, +disease, all brought on by thyself; that abandonment in the hour of +need, more bitter than them all; that awakening to the terrible truth of +the hollowness of man and rottenness of the world!--surely this is +enough: surely we may hope that a pardon followed. But now let us view +thee in thy upward flight the genius, the wit, the monarch of mind. + +This great man, this wonderful genius, this eloquent senator, this most +applauded dramatist was--hear it, oh, ye boys! and fling it triumphantly +in the faces of your pedagogues--Sheridan, at your age, was a dunce! +This was the more extraordinary, inasmuch as his father, mother, and +grandfather were all celebrated for their quick mental powers. The last, +in fact, Dr. Sheridan, was a successful and eminent schoolmaster, the +intimate friend of Dean Swift, and an author. He was an Irish man and a +wit, and would seem to have been a Jacobite to boot, for he was deprived +of a chaplaincy he held under Government, for preaching, on King +George's birthday, a sermon having for its text 'Sufficient for the day +is the evil thereof.' + +Sheridan's mother, again--an eccentric, extraordinary woman--wrote +novels and plays; among the latter 'The Discovery,' which Garrick said +was 'one of the best comedies he ever read;' and Sheridan's father, Tom +Sheridan, was famous, in connection with the stage where he was so long +the rival of David Garrick. + +Born of such parents, in September, 1751, Richard Brinsley Sheridan was +sent in due course to Harrow, where that famous old pedant, Dr. Parr, +was at that time one of the masters. The Doctor has himself described +the lazy boy, in whose face he discovered the latent genius, and whom he +attempted to inspire with a love of Greek verbs and Latin verses, by +making him ashamed of his ignorance. But Richard preferred English +verses and no verbs, and the Doctor failed. He did not, even at that +period, cultivate elocution, of which his father was so good a master; +though Dr. Parr remembered one of his sisters, on a visit to Harrow, +reciting, in accordance with her father's teaching, the well-known +lines-- + + '_None_ but the brave, + None but the _brave_, + None _but_ the brave deserve the fair. + +But the real mind of the boy who would not be a scholar showed itself +early enough. He had only just left Harrow, when he began to display his +literary abilities. He had formed at school the intimate acquaintance of +Halhed, afterwards a distinguished Indianist, a man of like tastes with +himself; he had translated with him some of the poems of Theocritus. The +two boys had revelled together in boyish dreams of literary fame--ah, +those boyish dreams! so often our noblest--so seldom realized. So often, +alas! the aspirations to which we can look back as our purest and best, +and which make us bitterly regret that they were but dreams. And now, +when young Halhed went to Oxford, and young Sheridan to join his family +at Bath, they continued these ambitious projects for a time, and laid +out their fancy at full usury over many a work destined never to see the +fingers of the printer's devil. Among these was a farce, or rather +burlesque, which shows immense promise, and which, oddly enough, +resembles in its cast the famous 'Critic,' which followed it later. It +was called 'Jupiter,' and turned chiefly on the story of Ixion-- + + 'Embracing cloud, Ixion like,' + +the lover of Juno, who caught a cold instead of the Queen of Heaven; and +who, according to the classical legend, tortured for ever on a wheel, +was in this production to be condemned for ever to trundle the machine +of a 'needy knife-grinder,' amid a grand musical chorus of 'razors, +scissors, and penknives to grind!' This piece was amusing enough, and +clever enough, though it betrayed repeatedly the youthfulness of its +authors; but less so their next attempt, a weekly periodical, to be +called 'Hernan's Miscellany,' of which Sheridan wrote, or was to write, +pretty nearly the whole. None but the first number was ever completed, +and perhaps we need not regret that no more followed it; but it is +touching to see these two young men, both feeling their powers, +confident in them, and sunning their halcyon's wings in the happy belief +that they were those of the eagle, longing eagerly, earnestly, for the +few poor guineas that they hoped from their work. Halhed, indeed, wrote +diligently, but his colleague was not true to the contract, and though +the hope of gold stimulated him--for he was poor enough--from time to +time to a great effort, he was always 'beginning,' and never completing. + +The only real product of these united labours was a volume of Epistles +in verse from the Greek of a poor writer of late age, Aristaenetus. This +volume, which does little credit to either of its parents, was +positively printed and published in 1770, but the rich harvest of fame +and shillings which they expected from it was never gathered in. Yet the +book excited some little notice. The incognito of its authors induced +some critics to palm it even on such a man as Dr. Johnson; others +praised; others sneered at it. In the young men it raised hopes, only to +dash them; but its failure was not so utter as to put the idea of +literary success entirely out of their heads, nor its success sufficient +to induce them to rush recklessly into print, and thus strangle their +fame in its cradle. Let it fail, was Richard Sheridan's thought; he had +now a far more engrossing ambition. In a word, he was in love. + +Yes, he was in love for a time--only for a time, and not truly. But, be +it remembered, Sheridan's evil days had not commenced. He sowed his wild +oats late in life,--alack for him!--and he never finished sowing them. +His was not the viciousness of nature, but the corruption of success. +'In all time of wealth, good Lord deliver us!' What prayer can wild, +unrestrained, unheeding Genius utter with more fervency? I own Genius is +rarely in love. There is an egotism, almost a selfishness, about it, +that will not stoop to such common worship. Women know it, and often +prefer the blunt, honest, common-place soldier to the wild erratic poet. +Genius, grand as it is, is unsympathetic. It demands higher--the highest +joys. Genius claims to be loved, but to love is too much to ask it. And +yet at this time Sheridan was not a matured Genius. When his development +came, he cast off this very love for which he had fought, manoeuvred, +struggled, and was unfaithful to the very wife whom he had nearly died +to obtain. + +Miss Linley was one of a family who have been called 'a nest of +nightingales.' Young ladies who practise elaborate pieces and sing +simple ballads in the voice of a white mouse, know the name of Linley +well. For ages the Linleys have been the bards of England--composers, +musicians, singers, always popular, always English. Sheridan's love was +one of the most renowned of the family, but the 'Maid of Bath,' as she +was called, was as celebrated for her beauty as for the magnificence of +her voice. When Sheridan first knew her, she was only sixteen years +old--very beautiful, clever, and modest. She was a singer by profession, +living at Bath, as Sheridan, only three years older than herself, also +was, but attending concerts, oratorios, and so forth, in other places, +especially at Oxford. Her adorers were legion; and the Oxford boys +especially--always in love as they are--were among them. Halhed was +among these last, and in the innocence of his heart confided his passion +to his friend Dick Sheridan. At sixteen the young beauty began her +conquests. A rich old Wiltshire squire, with a fine heart, as golden as +his guineas, offered to or for her, and was readily accepted. But +'Cecilia,' as she was always called, could not sacrifice herself on the +altar of duty, and she privately told him that though she honoured and +esteemed, she could never love him. The old gentleman proved his worth. +Did he storm? did he hold her to her engagement? did he shackle himself +with a young wife, who would only learn to hate him for his persinacity? +Not a bit of it. He acted with a generosity which should be held up as a +model to all old gentlemen who are wild enough, to fall in love with +girls of sixteen. He knew Mr. Linley, who was delighted with the match, +would be furious if it were broken off. He offered to take on himself +all the blame if the breach, and, to satisfy the angry parent, settled +£1,000 on the daughter. The offer was accepted, and the trial for breach +of promise with which the père Linley had threatened Mr. Long, was of +course withheld. Mr. Long afterwards presented Mrs. Sheridan with +£3,000. + +The 'Maid of Bath' was now an heiress as well as a fascinating beauty, +but her face and her voice were the chief enchantments with her ardent +and youthful adorers. The Sheridans had settled in Mead Street, in that +town which is celebrated for its gambling, its scandal, and its +unhealthy situation at the bottom of a natural basin. Well might the +Romans build their baths there: it will take more water than even Bath +supplies to wash out its follies and iniquities. It certainly is strange +how washing and cards go together. One would fancy there were no baths +in Eden, for wherever there are baths, there we find idleness and all +its attendant vices. + +The Linleys were soon intimate with the Sheridans, and the Maid of Bath +added to her adorers both Richard and his elder brother Charles; only, +just as at Harrow every one thought Richard a dunce and he disappointed +them; so at Bath no one thought Richard would fall in love, and he _did_ +disappoint them--none more so than Charles, his brother, and Halhed, his +bosom friend. As for the latter, he was almost mad in his devotion, and +certainly extravagant in his expressions. He described his passion by a +clever, but rather disagreeable simile, which Sheridan, who was a most +disgraceful plagiarist, though he had no need to be so, afterwards +adopted as his own. 'Just as the Egyptian pharmacists,' wrote Halhed, in +a Latin letter, in which he described the power of Miss Linley's voice +over his spirit, 'were wont, in embalming a dead body to draw the brain +out through the ears with a crooked hook, this nightingale has drawn out +through mine ears not my brain only, but my heart also.' + +Then among other of her devotees were Norris, the singer, and Mr. Watts, +a rich gentleman-commoner, who had also met her at Oxford. Surely with +such and other rivals, the chances of the quiet, unpretending, +undemonstrative boy of nineteen were small. But no, Miss Linley was +foolish enough to be captivated by genius, and charmed by such poems as +the quiet boy wrote to her, of which this is, perhaps, one of the +prettiest: + + 'Dry that tear, my gentlest love; + Be hush'd that struggling sigh, + Nor seasons, day, nor fate shall prove + More fix'd, more true than I. + Hush'd be that sigh, be dry that tear; + Cease boding doubt, cease anxious fear: + Dry be that tear. + + 'Ask'st thou how long my love will stay, + When all that's new is past? + How long, ah Delia, can I say + How long my life will last? + Dry be that tear, be hush'd that sigh, + At least I'll love thee till I die: + Hush'd be that sigh. + + 'And does that thought affect thee too, + The thought of Sylvio's death, + That he who only breath'd for you, + Must yield that faithful breath? + Hush'd be that sigh, be dry that tear, + Nor let us lose our Heaven here: + Be dry that tear.' + +The many adorers had not the remotest suspicion of this devotion, and +'gave her' to this, that, or the other eligible personage; but the +villanous conduct of a scoundrel soon brought the matter to a crisis. +The whole story was as romantic as it could be. In a three-volume novel, +critics, always so just and acute in their judgment, would call it +far-fetched, improbable, unnatural; in short, anything but what should +be the plot of the pure 'domestic English story.' Yet, here it is with +almost dramatic effect, the simple tale of what really befel one of our +most celebrated men. + +Yes, to complete the fiction-like aspect of the affair, there was even a +'captain' in the matter--as good a villain as ever shone in short hose +and cut doublet at the 'Strand' or 'Victoria.' Captain Matthews was a +married man, and a very naughty one. He was an intimate friend of the +Linleys, and wanted to push his intimacy too far. In short, 'not to put +too fine a point on it' (too fine a point is precisely what never _is_ +put), he attempted to seduce the pretty, innocent girl, and not dismayed +at one failure, went on again and again. 'Cecilia,' knowing the temper +of Linley père, was afraid to expose him to her father, and with a +course, which we of the present day cannot but think strange, if nothing +more, disclosed the attempts of her persecutor to no other than her own +lover, Richard Brinsley Sheridan. + +Strange want of delicacy, undoubtedly, and yet we can excuse the poor +songstress, with a father who sought only to make money out of her +talents, and no other relations to confide in. But Richard Brinsley, +long her lover, now resolved to be both her protector and her husband. +He persuaded her to fly to France, under cover of entering a convent. He +induced his sister to lend him money out of that provided for the +housekeeping at home, hired a post-chaise, and sent a sedan-chair to her +father's house in the Crescent to convey her to it, and wafted her off +to town. Thence, after a few adroit lies on the part of Sheridan, they +sailed to Dunkirk; and there he persuaded her to become his wife. She +consented, and they were knotted together by an obliging priest +accustomed to these runaway matches from _la perfide Albion_. + +The irate parent, Linley, followed, recaptured his daughter, and brought +Her back to England. Meanwhile, the elopement excited great agitation in +the good city of Bath, and among others, the villain of the story, the +gallant Captain Matthews, posted Richard Brinsley as 'a scoundrel and a +liar,' the then polite method of expressing disgust. Home came Richard +in the wake of Miss Linley, who rejoiced in the unromantic praenomen of +'Betsy,' to her angry parent, and found matters had been running high in +his short absence. A duel with Matthews seems to have been the natural +consequence, and up Richard posted to London to fight it. Matthews +played the craven--Sheridan the impetuous lover. They met, fought, +seized one another's swords, wrestled, fell together, and wounded each +other with the stumps of their rapiers in true Chevy-Chase fashion. +Matthews, who had behaved in a cowardly manner in the first affair, +sought to retrieve his honour by sending a second challenge. Again the +rivals--well represented in 'The Rivals' afterwards produced--met at +Kingsdown. Mr. Matthews drew; Mr. Sheridan advanced on him at first: Mr. +Matthews in turn advanced fast on Mr. Sheridan; upon which he retreated, +till he very suddenly ran in upon Mr. Matthews, laying himself +exceedingly open, and endeavouring to get hold of Mr. Matthews' sword. +Mr. Matthews received him at point, and, I believe, disengaged his sword +from Mr. Sheridan's body, and gave him another wound. The same scene was +now enacted, and a _combat à l'outrance_ took place, ending in mutual +wounds, and fortunately no one dead. + +Poor little Betsy was at Oxford when all this took place. On her return +to Bath she heard something of it, and unconsciously revealed the secret +of her private marriage, claiming the right of a wife to watch over her +wounded husband. Then came the _dénouement_. Old Tom Sheridan rejected +his son. The angry Linley would have rejected his daughter, but for her +honour. Richard was sent off into Essex, and in due time the couple were +legally married in England. So ended a wild, romantic affair, in which +Sheridan took a desperate, but not altogether honourable, part. But the +dramatist got more out of it than a pretty wife. Like all true geniuses, +he employed his own experience in the production of his works, and drew +from the very event of his life some hints or touches to enliven the +characters of his imagination. Surely the bravado and cowardice of +Captain Matthews, who on the first meeting in the Park is described as +finding all kinds of difficulties in the way of their fighting, +objecting now to the ground as unlevel, now to the presence of a +stranger, who turns out to be an officer, and very politely moves off +when requested, who, in short, delays the event as long as possible, +must have supplied the idea of Bob Acres; while the very conversations, +of which we have no record, may have given him some of those hints of +character which made the 'Rivals' so successful. That play--his +first--was written in 1774. It failed on its first appearance, owing to +the bad acting of the part of Sir Lucius O'Trigger, by Mr. Lee; but when +another actor was substituted, the piece was at once successful, and +acted with overflowing houses all over the country. How could it be +otherwise? It may have been exaggerated, far-fetched, unnatural, but +such characters as Sir Anthony Absolute, Sir Lucius, Bob Acres, Lydia +Languish, and most of all Mrs. Malaprop, so admirably conceived, and so +carefully and ingeniously worked out, could not but be admired. They +have become household words; they are even now our standards of +ridicule, and be they natural or not, these last eighty years have +changed the world so little that Malaprops and Acreses may be found in +the range of almost any man's experience, and in every class of society. + +Sheridan and his divine Betsy were now living in their own house, in +that Dull little place, Orchard Street, Portman Square, then an +aristocratic neighbourhood, and he was diligent in the production of +essays, pamphlets, and farces, many of which never saw the light, while +others fell flat, or were not calculated to bring him any fame. What +great authors have not experienced the same disappointments? What men +would ever be great if they allowed such checks to damp their energy, or +were turned back by them from the course in which they feel that their +power lies? + +But his next work, the opera of 'The Duenna,' had a yet more signal +success, and a run of no less than seventy-five nights at Covent Garden, +which put Garrick at Drury Lane to his wit's end to know how to compete +with it. Old Linley himself composed the music for it; and to show how +thus a family could hold the stage, Garrick actually played off the +mother against the son, and revived Mrs. Sheridan's comedy of 'The +Discovery,' to compete with Richard Sheridan's 'Duenna.' + +The first night 'The Rivals' was brought out at Bath came Sheridan's +father, who, as we have seen, had refused to have anything to say to his +son. It is related as an instance of Richard's filial affection, that +during the representation he placed himself behind a side-scene opposite +to the box in which his father and sisters sat, and gazed at them all +the time. When he returned to his house and wife, he burst into tears, +and declared that he felt it too bitter that he alone should have been +forbidden to speak to those on whom he had been gazing all the night. + +During the following year this speculative man, who married on nothing +but his brain, and had no capital, no wealthy friends, in short nothing +whatever, suddenly appears in the most mysterious manner as a +capitalist, and lays down his £10,000 in the coolest and quietest +manner. And for what? For a share in the purchase of Garrick's moiety of +the patent of Drury Lane. The whole property was worth £70,000; Garrick +sold his half for £35,000, of which old Mr. Linley contributed £10,000, +Dr. Ford £15,000, and penniless Sheridan the balance. Where he got the +money nobody knew, and apparently nobody asked. It was paid, and he +entered at once on the business of proprietor of that old house, where +so many a Roscius has strutted and declaimed with more or less fame; so +many a Walking gentleman done his five shillings' worth of polite +comedy, so many a tinsel king degraded the 'legitimate drama,' in the +most illegitimate manner, and whose glories were extinguished with the +reign of Macready, when we were boys, _nous autres_. + +The first piece he contributed to this stage was 'A Trip to +Scarborough,' Which was only a species of 'family edition of Vanbrugh's +play, 'The Relapse;' but in 1777 he reached the acme of his fame, in +'The School for Scandal.' + +But alack and alas for these sensual days, when it is too much trouble +to think, and people go to the play, if they go at all, to feast their +eyes and ears, not their minds; can any sensible person believe that if +'The School for Scandal,' teeming as it does with wit, satire, and +character, finer and truer than in any play produced since the days of +Ben Jonson, Massinger, and Marlowe, were set on the boards of the +Haymarket at this day, as a new piece by an author of no very high +celebrity, it would draw away a single admirer from the flummery in +Oxford Street, the squeaking at Covent Garden, or the broad, exaggerated +farce at the Adelphi or Olympic? No: it may still have its place on the +London stage when well acted, but it owes that to its ancient celebrity, +and it can never compete with the tinsel and tailoring which alone can +make even Shakspeare go down with a modern audience. + +In those days of Garrick, on the other hand, those glorious days of true +histrionic art, high and low were not ashamed to throng Drury Lane and +Covent Garden, and make the appearance of a new play the great event of +the season. Hundreds were turned away from the doors, when 'The School +for Scandal' was acted, and those who were fortunate enough to get in +made the piece the subject of conversation in society for many a night, +passing keen comment on every scene, every line, every word almost, and +using their minds as we now use our eyes. + +This brilliant play, the earliest idea of which was derived from its +author's experience of the gossip of that kettle of scandal and +backbiting, Bath, where, if no other commandment were ever broken, the +constant breach of the ninth would suffice to put it on a level with +certain condemned cities we have somewhere read of, won for Sheridan a +reputation of which he at once felt the value, and made his purchase of +a share in the property of Old Drury for the time being, a successful +speculation. It produced a result which his good heart perhaps valued +even more than the guineas which now flowed in; it induced his father, +who had long been at war with him, to seek a reconciliation, and the +elder Sheridan actually became manager of the theatre of which his son +was part proprietor. + +Old Tom Sheridan had always been a proud man, and when once he was +offended, was hard to bring round again. His quarrel with Johnson was an +instance of this. In 1762 the Doctor, hearing they had given Sheridan a +pension of two hundred a year, exclaimed, 'What have they given _him_ a +pension? then it is time for me to give up mine.' A 'kind friend' took +care to repeat the peevish exclamation, without adding what Johnson had +said immediately afterwards, 'However, I am glad that they have given +Mr. Sheridan a pension, for he is a very good man.' The actor was +disgusted; and though Boswell interfered, declined to be reconciled. On +one occasion he even rushed from a house at which he was to dine, when +he heard that the great Samuel had been invited. The Doctor had little +opinion of Sheridan's declamation. 'Besides, sir,' said he, 'what +influence can Mr. Sheridan have upon the language of this great country +by his narrow exertions. Sir, it is burning a farthing candle at Dover +to show light at Calais.' Still, when Garrick attacked his rival, +Johnson nobly defended him. 'No sir,' he said, 'there is to be sure, in +Sheridan, something to reprehend, and everything to laugh at; but, sir, +he is not a bad man. No, sir, were mankind to be divided into good and +bad, he would stand considerably within the ranks of the good.' + +However, the greatest bully of his age (and the kindest-hearted man) +thought very differently of the son. Richard Brinsley had written a +prologue to Savage's play of 'Sir Thomas Overbury'-- + + 'Ill-fated Savage, at whose birth was giv'n + No parent but the Muse, no friend but Heav'n;' + +and in this had paid an elegant compliment to the great lexicographer, +winding up with these lines:-- + + 'So pleads the tale that gives to future times + The son's misfortunes and the parent's crimes; + There shall his fame, if own'd to-night, survive, + Fix'd _by the hand that bids our language live_-- + +referring at once to Johnson's life of his friend Savage and to his +great Dictionary. It was Savage, every one remembers, with whom Johnson +in his days of starvation was wont to walk the streets all night, +neither of them being able to pay for a lodging, and with whom, walking +one night round and round St. James's Square, he kept up his own and his +companion's spirits by inveighing against the minister and declaring +that they would 'stand by their country.' + +Doubtless the Doctor felt as much pleasure at the meed awarded to his +old companion in misery as at the high compliment to himself. Anyhow he +pronounced that Sheridan 'had written the two best comedies of his age,' +and therefore proposed him as a member of the Literary Club. + +This celebrated gathering of wit and whimsicality, founded by Johnson +himself in conjunction with Sir J. Reynolds, was the Helicon of London +Letters, and the temple which the greatest talker of his age had built +for himself, and in which he took care to be duly worshipped. It met at +the Turk's Head in Gerrard Street, Soho, every Friday; and from seven in +the evening to almost any hour of night was the scene of such talk, +mainly on literature and learning, as has never been heard since in this +country. It consisted at this period of twenty-six members, and there is +scarcely one among them whose name is not known to-day as well as any in +the history of our literature. Besides the high priests, Reynolds and +Johnson, there came Edmund Burke, Fox, Sheridan, and many another of +less note, to represent the senate: Goldsmith, Gibbon, Adam Smith, +Malone, Dr. Burney, Percy, Nugent, Sir William Jones, three Irish +bishops, and a host of others, crowded in from the ranks of learning and +literature. Garrick and George Colman found here an indulgent audience; +and the light portion of the company comprised such men as Topham +Beauclerk, Bennet Langton, Vesey, and a dozen of lords and baronets. In +short, they were picked men, and if their conversation was not always +witty, it was because they had all wit and frightened one another. + +[Illustration: THE FAMOUS LITERARY CLUB.] + +Among them the bullying Doctor rolled in majestic grumpiness; scolded, +dogmatized, contradicted, pished and pshawed; and made himself generally +disagreeable; yet, hail the omen, Intellect! such was the force, such +the fame of his mind, that the more he snorted, the more they adored +him--the more he bullied, the more humbly they knocked under. He was +quite 'His Majesty' at the Turk's Head, and the courtiers waited for his +coming with anxiety, and talked of him till he came in the same manner +as the lacqueys in the anteroom of a crowned monarch. Boswell, who, by +the way, was also a member--of course he was, or how should we have had +the great man's conversations handed down to us?--was sure to keep them +up to the proper mark of adulation if they ever flagged in it, and was +as servile in his admiration in the Doctor's absence as when he was there +to call him a fool for his pains. + +Thus, on one occasion while 'King Johnson' tarried, the courtiers were +discussing his journey to the Hebrides and his coming away 'willing to +believe the second sight.' Some of them smiled at this, but Bozzy was +down on them with more than usual servility. 'He is only _willing_ to +believe,' he exclaimed. '_I do_ believe. The evidence is enough for me, +though not for his great mind. What will not fill a quart bottle will +fill a pint bottle. I am filled with belief.'--'Are you?' said Colman, +slily; 'then cork it up.' + +As a specimen of Johnson's pride in his own club, which always remained +extremely exclusive, we have what he said of Garrick, who, before he was +elected, carelessly told Reynolds he liked the club, and thought 'he +would be of them.' + +'_He'll be of us!_' roared the Doctor indignantly, on hearing of this. +'How does he know we will _permit_ him? The first duke in England has no +right to hold such language!' + +It can easily be imagined that when 'His Majesty' expressed his approval +of Richard Brinsley, then a young man of eight-and-twenty, there was no +one who ventured to blackball him, and so Sheridan was duly elected. + +The fame of 'The School for Scandal' was a substantial one for Richard +Brinsley, and in the following year he extended his speculation by +buying the other moiety of Drury Lane. This theatre, which took its name +from the old Cockpit Theatre in Drury Lane, where Killigrew acted in the +days of Charles II. is famous for the number of times it has been +rebuilt. The first house had been destroyed in 1674; and the one in +which Garrick acted was built by Sir Christopher Wren and opened with a +prologue by Dryden. In 1793 this was rebuilt. In 1809 it was burnt to +the ground; and on its re-opening the Committee advertised a prize for a +prologue, which was supposed to be tried for by all the poets and +poetasters then in England.[7] Sheridan adding afterwards a condition +that he wanted an address without a Phoenix in it. Horace Smith and his +brother seized the opportunity to parody the style of the most +celebrated in their delightful 'Rejected Addresses.' Drury Lane has +always been grand in its prologue, for besides Dryden and Byron, it +could boast of Sam. Johnson, who wrote the address when Garrick opened +the theatre in 1747. No theatre ever had more great names connected with +its history. + +[7: None of the addresses sent in having given satisfaction, Lord Byron +was requested to write one, which he did.] + +It was in 1778, after the purchase of the other moiety of this property, +that Sheridan set on its boards 'The Critic.' Though this was denounced +as itself as complete a plagiarism as any Sir Fretful Plagiary could +make, and though undoubtedly the idea of it was borrowed, its wit, so +truly Sheridanian, and its complete characters, enhanced its author's +fame, in spite of the disappointment of those who expected higher things +from the writer of 'The School for Scandal.' Whether Sheridan would have +gone on improving, had he remained true to the drama, 'The Critic' +leaves us in doubt. But he was a man of higher ambition. Step by step, +unexpectedly, and apparently unprepared, he had taken by storm the +out-works of the citadel he was determined to capture, and he seems to +have cared little to garrison these minor fortresses. He had carried off +from among a dozen suitors a wife of such beauty that Walpole thus +writes of her in 1773:-- + +'I was at the ball last night, and have only been at the opera, where I +was infinitely struck with the Carrara, who is the prettiest creature +upon earth. Mrs. Hartley I find still handsomer, and Miss Linley is to +be the superlative degree. The king admires the last, and ogles her as +much as he dares in so holy a place as an oratorio, and at so devout a +service as Alexander's Feast' + +Yet Sheridan did not prize his lovely wife as he should have done, when +he had once obtained her. Again he had struck boldly into the drama, and +in four years had achieved that fame as a play-writer to which even +Johnson could testify so handsomely. He now quitted this, and with the +same innate power--the same consciousness of success--the same readiness +of genius--took a higher, far more brilliant flight than ever. Yet had +he garrisoned the forts he captured, he would have been a better, +happier, and more prosperous man. Had he been true to the Maid of Bath, +his character would not have degenerated as it did. Had he kept up his +connection with the drama, he would not have lost so largely by his +speculation in Drury Lane. His genius became his temptation, and he +hurried on to triumph and to fall. + +Public praise is a syren which the young sailor through life cannot +resist. Political life is a fine aim, even when its seeker starts +without a shred of real patriotism to conceal his personal ambition. No +young man of any character can think, without a thrill of rapture, on +the glory of having _his_ name--now obscure--written in capitals on the +page of his country's history. A true patriot cares nothing for fame; a +really great man is content to die nameless, if his acts may but survive +him. Sheridan was not really great, and it may be doubted if he had any +sincerity in his political views. But the period favoured the rise of +young men of genius. In former reigns a man could have little hope of +political influence without being first a courtier; but by this time +liberalism had made giant strides. The leaven of revolutionary ideas, +which had leavened the whole lump in France, was still working quietly +and less passionately in this country, and being less repressed, +displayed itself in the last quarter of the eighteenth century in the +form of a strong and brilliant opposition. It was to this that the young +men of ambition attached themselves, rallying under the standard of +Charles James Fox, since it was there only that their talents were +sufficient to recommend them. + +To this party, Sheridan, laughing in his sleeve at the extravagance of +their demands--so that when they clamoured for a 'parliament once a +year, or oftener if need be,' he pronounced himself an +'Oftener-if-need-be' man--was introduced, when his fame as a literary +man had brought him into contact with some of its hangers on. Fox, after +his first interview with him, affirmed that he had always thought Hare +and Charles Townsend the wittiest men he had ever met, but that Sheridan +surpassed them both; and Sheridan was equally pleased with 'the Man of +the People.' + +The first step to this political position was to become a member of a +certain club, where its leaders gambled away their money, and drank away +their minds--to wit, Brookes'. Pretty boys, indeed, were these great +Whig patriots when turned loose in these precincts. The tables were for +stakes of twenty or fifty guineas, but soon ran up to hundreds. What did +it matter to Charles James Fox, to the Man of the People, whether he +lost five, seven, or ten thousand of a night, when the one-half came out +of his father's, the other out of Hebrew, pockets--the sleek, +thick-lipped owners of which thronged his Jerusalem chamber, as he +called his back sitting-room, only too glad to 'oblige' him to any +amount? The rage for gaming at this pandemonium may be understood from a +rule of the club, which it was found necessary to make to interdict it +_in the eating-room_, but to which was added the truly British +exception, which allowed two members of Parliament in those days, or two +'gentlemen' of any kind, to toss up for what they had ordered. + +This charming resort of the dissipated was originally established in +Pall Mall in 1764, and the manager was that same Almack who afterwards +opened a lady's club in the rooms now called Willis's, in King Street, +St. James's; who also owned the famous Thatched House, and whom Gilly +Williams described as having a 'Scotch face, in a bag-wig,' waiting on +the ladies at supper. In 1778 Brookes--a wine-merchant and money-lender, +whom Tickell, in his famous 'Epistle from the Hon. Charles Fox, +partridge-shooting, to the Hon. John Townsend, cruising,' describes in +these lines;-- + + 'And know I've bought the best champagne from Brookes, + From liberal Brookes, whose speculative skill + Is hasty credit, and a distant bill: + Who, nurs'd in clubs, disdains a vulgar trade: + Exults to trust, and blushes to be paid--' + +built and opened the present club-house in St. James's Street, and +thither the members of Almack's migrated. Brookes' speculative skill, +however, did not make him a rich man, and the 'gentlemen' he dealt with +were perhaps too gentlemanly to pay him. He died poor in 1782. Almack's +at first consisted of twenty-seven members, one of whom was C.J. Fox. +Gibbon, the historian, was actually a member of it, and says that in +spite of the rage for play, he found the society there rational and +entertaining. Sir Joshua Reynolds wanted to be a member of it too. 'You +see,' says Topham Beauclerk thereupon, 'what noble ambition will make a +man attempt. That den is not yet opened,' &c. + +Brookes', however, was far more celebrated, and besides Fox, Reynolds, +and Gibbon, there were here to be found Horace Walpole, David Hume, +Burke, Selwyn, and Garrick. It would be curious to discover how much +religion, how much morality, and how much vanity there were among the +set. The first two would require a microscope to examine, the last an +ocean to contain it. But let Tickell describe its inmates:-- + + 'Soon as to Brookes's thence thy footsteps bend + What gratulations thy approach attend! + See Gibbon rap his box--auspicious sign, + That classic compliment and wit combine; + See Beauclerk's cheek a tinge of red surprise, + And friendship give what cruel health denies; + + * * * * * + + Of wit, of taste, of fancy we'll debate, + If Sheridan for once be not too late. + But scarce a thought on politics we'll spare + Unless on Polish politics with Hare. + Good-natured Devon! oft shall there appear + The cool complacence of thy friendly sneer; + Oft shall Fitzpatrick's wit, and Stanhope's ease, + And Burgoyne's manly sense combine to please. + +To show how high gaming ran in this assembly of wits, even so early at +1772, there is a memorandum in the books, stating that Mr. Thynne +retired from the club in disgust, because he had only won £12,000 in two +months. The principal games at this period were quinze and faro. + +Into this eligible club Richard Sheridan, who ten years before had been +agreeing with Halhed on the bliss of making a couple of hundred pounds +by their literary exertions, now essayed to enter as a member; but in +vain. One black-ball sufficed to nullify his election, and that one was +dropped in by George Selwyn, who, with degrading littleness, would not +have the son of an actor among them. Again and again he made the +attempt; again and again Selwyn foiled him; and it was not till 1780 +that he succeeded. The Prince of Wales was then his devoted friend, and +was determined he should be admitted into the club. The elections at +that time took place between eleven at night and one o'clock in the +morning, and the 'greatest gentleman in Europe' took care to be in the +hall when the ballot began. Selwyn came down as usual, bent on triumph. +The prince called him to him. There was nothing for it; Selwyn was +forced to obey. The prince walked him up and down the hall, engaging him +in an apparently most important conversation. George Selwyn answered him +question after question, and made desperate attempts to slip away. The +other George had always something more to say to him. The long finger of +the clock went round, and Selwyn's long white fingers were itching for +the black ball. The prince was only more and more interested, the wit +only more and more abstracted. Never was the young George more lively, +or the other more silent. But it was all in vain. The finger of the +clock went round and round, and at last the members came out noisily +from the balloting-room, and the smiling faces of the prince's friends +showed to the unhappy Selwyn that his enemy had been elected. + +So, at least, runs one story. The other, told by Sir Nathaniel Wraxall, +is perhaps more probable. It appears that the Earl of Besborough was no +less opposed to his election than George Selwyn, and these two +individuals agreed at any cost of comfort to be always at the club at +the time of the ballot to throw in their black balls. On the night of +his success, Lord Besborough was there as usual, and Selwyn was at his +rooms in Cleveland Row, preparing to come to the club. Suddenly a +chairman rushed into Brookes' with an important note for my lord, who, +on tearing it open, found to his horror that it was from his +daughter-in-law, Lady Duncannon, announcing that his house in Cavendish +Square was on fire, and imploring him to come immediately. Feeling +confident that his fellow conspirator would be true to his post, the +earl set off at once. But almost the same moment Selwyn received a +message informing him that his adopted daughter, of whom he was very +fond, was seized with an alarming illness. The ground was cleared; and +by the time the earl returned, having, it is needless to say, found his +house in a perfect state of security, and was joined by Selwyn, whose +daughter had never been better in her life, the actor's son was elected, +and the conspirators found they had been duped. + +But it is far easier in this country to get into that House, where one +has to represent the interests of thousands, and take a share in the +government of a nation, than to be admitted to a club where one has but +to lounge, to gamble, and to eat dinner; and Sheridan was elected for +the town of Stafford with probably little more artifice than the old and +stale one of putting five-pound notes under voters' glasses, or paying +thirty pounds for a home-cured ham. Whether he bribed or not, a petition +was presented against his election, almost as a matter of course in +those days, and his maiden speech was made in defence of the good +burgesses of that quiet little county-town. After making this speech, +which was listened to in silence on account of his reputation as a +dramatic author, but which does not appear to have been very wonderful, +he rushed up to the gallery, and eagerly asked his friend Woodfall what +he thought of it. That candid man shook his head, and told him oratory +was not his forte, Sheridan leaned his head on his hand a moment, and +then exclaimed with vehement emphasis, 'It is in me, however, and, by +Heaven! it shall come out.' + +He spoke prophetically, yet not as the great man who determines to +conquer difficulties, but rather as one who feels conscious of his own +powers, and knows that they must show themselves sooner or later. +Sheridan found himself labouring under the same natural obstacles as +Demosthenes--though in a less degree--a thick and disagreeable tone of +voice; but we do not find in the indolent but gifted Englishman that +admirable perseverance, that conquering zeal, which enabled the Athenian +to turn these very impediments to his own advantage. He did, indeed, +prepare his speeches, and at times had fits of that same diligence which +he had displayed in the preparation of 'The School for Scandal;' but his +indolent, self-indulgent mode of life left him no time for such steady +devotion to oratory as might have made him the finest speaker of his +age, for perhaps his natural abilities were greater than those of Pitt, +Fox, or even Burke, though his education was inferior to that of those +two statesmen. + +From this time Sheridan's life had two phases--that of a politician, and +that of a man of the world. With the former, we have nothing to do in +such a memoir as this, and indeed it is difficult to say whether it was +in oratory, the drama, or wit that he gained the greatest celebrity. +There is, however, some difference between the three capacities. On the +mimic stage, and on the stage of the country, his fame rested on a very +few grand outbursts--some matured, prepared, deliberated--others +spontaneous. He left only three great comedies, and perhaps we may say +only one really grand. In the same way he made only two great speeches, +or perhaps we may say only one. His wit on the other hand--though that +too is said to have been studied--was the constant accompaniment of his +daily life, and Sheridan has not left two or three celebrated bon-mots, +but a hundred. + +But even in his political career his wit, which must then have been +spontaneous, won him almost as much fame as his eloquence, which he +seems to have reserved for great occasions. He was the wit of the House. +Wit, ridicule, satire, quiet, cool, and easy sneers, always made in good +temper, and always therefore the more bitter, were his weapons, and they +struck with unerring accuracy. At that time--nor at that time only--the +'Den of Thieves,' as Cobbett called our senate, was a cockpit as vulgar +and personal as the present Congress of the United States. Party-spirit +meant more than it has ever done since, and scarcely less than it had +meant when the throne itself was the stake for which parties played some +forty years before. There was, in fact a substantial personal centre for +each side. The one party rallied round a respectable but maniac monarch, +whose mental afflictions took the most distressing form, the other round +his gay, handsome, dissolute--nay disgusting--son, at once his rival and +his heir. The spirit of each party was therefore personal, and their +attacks on one another were more personal than anything we can imagine +in the present day in so respectably ridiculous a conclave as the House +of Commons. It was little for one honourable gentleman to give another +honourable gentleman the lie direct before the eyes of the country. The +honourable gentlemen descended--or, as they thought, ascended--to the +most vehement invective, and such was at times the torrent of personal +abuse which parties heaped on one another, while good-natured John Bull +looked on and smiled at his rulers, that, as in the United States of +to-day, a debate was often the prelude to a duel. Pitt and Fox, Tierney, +Adam, Fullarton, Lord George Germain, Lord Shelburne, and Governor +Johnstone, all 'vindicated their honour,' as the phrase went, by 'coffee +and pistols for four.' If Sheridan had not to repeat the Bob Acres scene +with Captain Matthews, it was only because his wonderful good humour +could put up with a great deal that others thought could only be +expiated by a hole in the waistcoat. + +In the administration of the Marquis of Rockingham the dramatist enjoyed +the pleasures of office for less than a year as one of the Under +Secretaries of State in 1782. In the next year we find him making a +happy retort on Pitt, who had somewhat vulgarly alluded to his being a +dramatic author. It was on the American question, perhaps the bitterest +that ever called forth the acrimony of parties in the House. Sheridan, +from boyhood, had been taunted with being the son of an actor. One can +hardly credit this fact, just after Garrick had raised the profession of +an actor to so great an eminence in the social scale. He had been called +'the player boy' at school, and his election at Brookes' had been +opposed on the same grounds. It was evidently his bitterest point, and +Pitt probably knew this when, in replying to a speech of the +ex-dramatist's he said that 'no man admired more than he did the +abilities of that right honourable gentleman, the elegant sallies of his +thought, the gay effusions of his fancy, his _dramatic_ turns, and his +epigrammatic point; and if they were reserved for the _proper stage,_ +they would, no doubt, receive what the hon. gentleman's abilities always +did receive, the plaudits of the audience; and it would be his fortune +_sui plausu gaudere theatri_. But this was not the proper scene for the +exhibition of those elegancies.' This was vulgar in Pitt, and probably +every one felt so. But Sheridan rose, cool and collected, and quietly +replied:-- + +'On the particular sort of personality which the right hon. gentleman +has thought proper to make use of, I need not make any comment. The +propriety, the taste, the gentlemanly point of it, must have been +obvious to the House. But let me assure the right hon. gentleman that I +do now, and will at any time he chooses to repeat this sort of allusion, +meet it with the most sincere good humour. Nay, I will say more: +flattered and encouraged by the right hon. gentleman's panegyric on my +talents, if ever I again engage in the compositions he alludes to, I may +be tempted to an act of presumption--to attempt an improvement on one of +Ben Jonson's best characters, the character of the _Angry Boy_, in the +"Alchemist."' + +The fury of Pitt, contrasted with the coolness of the man he had so +shamefully attacked, made this sally irresistible, and from that time +neither 'the angry boy' himself, nor any of his colleagues, were anxious +to twit Sheridan on his dramatic pursuits. + +Pitt wanted to lay a tax on every horse that started in a race. Lord +Surry, a _turfish_ individual of the day, proposed one of five pounds on +the winner. Sheridan, rising, told his lordship that the next time he +visited Newmarket he would probably be greeted with the line:-- + + 'Jockey of Norfolk, be not so bold--.' + +Lord Rolie, the butt of the Opposition, who had attacked him in the +famous satire, 'The Rolliad,' so popular that it went through twenty-two +editions in twenty-seven years, accused Sheridan of inflammatory +speeches among the operatives of the northern counties on the cotton +question. Sheridan retorted by saying that he believed Lord Rolle must +refer to 'Compositions less prosaic, but more popular' (meaning the +'Rolliad'), and thus successfully turned the laugh against him. + +It was Grattan, I think, who said, 'When I can't talk sense, I talk +metaphor.' Sheridan often talked metaphor, though he sometimes mingled +it with sense. His famous speech about the Begums of Oude is full of it, +but we have one or two instances before that. Thus on the Duke of +Richmond's report about fortifications, he said, turning to the duke, +that 'holding in his hand the report made by the Board of Officers, he +complimented the noble president on his talents as an _engineer_, which +were strongly evinced in planning and constructing that very paper.... +He has made it a contest of posts, and conducted his reasoning not less +on principles of trigonometry than of logic. There are certain +assumptions thrown up, like advanced works, to keep the enemy at a +distance from the principal object of debate; strong provisos protect +and cover the flanks of his assertions, his very queries are his +casemates,' and so on. + +When Lord Mulgrave said, on another occasion, that any man using his +influence to obtain a vote for the crown _ought_ to lose his head, +Sheridan quietly remarked, that he was glad his lordship had said +'_ought_ to lose his head,' not _would_ have lost it, for in that case +the learned gentleman would not have had that evening '_face_ to have +shown among us.' + +Such are a few of his well-remembered replies in the House; but his fame +as an orator rested on the splendid speeches which he made at the +impeachment of Warren Hastings. The first of these was made in the House +on the 7th of February, 1787. The whole story of the corruption, +extortions, and cruelty of the worst of many bad rulers who have been +imposed upon that unhappy nation of Hindostan, and who ignorant how to +_parcere subjectis_, have gone on in their unjust oppression, only +rendering it the more dangerous by weak concessions, is too well known +to need a recapitulation here. The worst feature in the whole of +Hastings' misconduct was, perhaps, his treatment of those unfortunate +ladies whose money he coveted, the Begums of Oude. The Opposition was +determined to make the governor-general's conduct a state question, but +their charges had been received with little attention, till on this day +Sheridan rose to denounce the cruel extortioner. He spoke for five hours +and a half, and surpassed all he had ever said in eloquence. The subject +was one to find sympathy in the hearts of Englishmen, who, though they +beat their own wives, are always indignant at a man who dares to lay a +little finger on those of anybody else. Then, too, the subject was +Oriental: it might even be invested with something of romance and +poetry; the zenanah, sacred in the eyes of the oppressed natives, had +been ruthlessly insulted, under a glaring Indian sun, amid the +luxuriance of Indian foliage, these acts had been committed, &c. &c. It +was a fertile theme for a poet; and how little soever Sheridan cared for +the Begums and their wrongs--and that he did care little appears from +what he afterwards said of Hastings himself--he could evidently make a +telling speech out of the theme, and he did so. Walpole says that he +turned everybody's head. 'One heard everybody in the street raving on +the wonders of that speech; for my part, I cannot believe it was so +supernatural as they say.' He affirms that there must be a witchery in +Mr. Sheridan, who had no diamonds--as Hastings had--to win favour with, +and says that the Opposition may be fairly charged with sorcery. Burke +declared the speech to be 'the most astonishing effort of eloquence, +argument, and wit united, of which there was any record or tradition.' +Fox affirmed that 'all he had ever heard, all he had ever read, when +compared with it, dwindled into nothing, and vanished like vapour before +the sun.' But these were partizans. Even Pitt acknowledged 'that it +surpassed all the eloquence of ancient and modern times, and possessed +everything that genius or art could furnish to agitate and control the +human mind.' One member confessed himself so unhinged by it, that he +moved an adjournment, because he could not, in his then state of mind, +give an unbiassed vote. But the highest testimony was that of Logan, the +defender of Hastings. At the end of the first hour of the speech, he +said to a friend, 'All this is declamatory assertion without proof.' +Another hour's speaking, and he muttered, 'This is a most wonderful +oration!' A third, and he confessed 'Mr. Hastings has acted very +unjustifiably.' At the end of the fourth, he exclaimed, 'Mr. Hastings is +a most atrocious criminal.' And before the speaker had sat down, he +vehemently protested that 'Of all monsters of iniquity, the most +enormous is Warren Hastings.' + +Such in those days was the effect of eloquence; an art which has been +eschewed in the present House of Commons, and which our newspapers +affect to think is much out of place in an assembly met for calm +deliberation. Perhaps they are right; but oh! for the golden words of a +Sheridan, a Fox, even a Pitt and Burke. + +It is said, though not proved, that on this same night of Sheridan's +glory in the House of Commons, his 'School for Scandal' was acted with +'rapturous applause' at Covent Garden, and his 'Duenna' no less +successfully at Drury Lane. What a pitch of glory for the dunce who had +been shamed into learning Greek verbs at Harrow! Surely Dr. Parr must +then have confessed that a man can be great without the classics--nay, +without even a decent English education, for Sheridan knew comparatively +little of history and literature, certainly less than the men against +whom he was pitted or whose powers he emulated. He has been known to say +to his friends, when asked to take part with them on some important +question, 'You know I'm an ignoramus--instruct me and I'll do my best.' +He had even to rub up his arithmetic when he thought he had some chance +of being made Chancellor of the Exchequer; but, perhaps, many a +statesman before and after him has done as much as that. + +No wonder that after such a speech in the House, the celebrated trial +which commenced in the beginning of the following year should have +roused the attention of the whole nation. The proceedings opened in +Westminster Hall, the noblest room in England, on the 13th of February, +1788. The Queen and four of her daughters were seated in the Duke of +Newcastle's box; the Prince of Wales walked in at the head of a hundred +and fifty peers of the realm. The spectacle was imposing enough. But the +trial proceeded slowly for some months, and it was not till the 3rd of +June that Sheridan rose to make his second great speech on this subject. + +The excitement was then at its highest. Two-thirds of the peers with the +peeresses and their daughters were present, and the whole of the vast +hall was crowded to excess. The sun shone in brightly to light up the +gloomy building, and the whole scene was splendid. Such was the +enthusiasm that people paid _fifty guineas_ for a ticket to hear the +first orator of his day, for such he then was. The actor's son felt the +enlivening influence of a full audience. He had been long preparing for +this moment, and he threw into his speech all the theatrical effect of +which he had studied much and inherited more. He spoke for many hours on +the 3rd, 5th, and 6th, and concluded with these words: + +'They (the House of Commons) exhort you by everything that calls +sublimely upon the heart of man, by the majesty of that justice which +this bold man has libelled, by the wide fame of your own tribunal, by +the sacred pledges by which you swear in the solemn hour of decision, +knowing that that decision will then bring you the highest reward that +ever blessed the heart of man, the consciousness of having done the +greatest act of mercy for the world that the earth has ever yet received +from any hand but heaven!--My Lords, I have done.' + +Sheridan's valet was very proud of his master's success, and as he had +been to hear the speech, was asked what part he considered the finest. +Plush replied by putting himself into his master's attitude, and +imitating his voice admirably, solemnly uttering, 'My Lords, I have +done!' He should have added the word 'nothing.' Sheridan's eloquence had +no more effect than the clear proof of Hastings' guilt, and the +impeachment, as usual, was but a troublesome subterfuge, to satisfy the +Opposition and dust the eyeballs of the country. + +Sheridan's great speech was made. The orator has concluded his oration; +fame was complete, and no more was wanted, Adieu, then, blue-books and +parties, and come on the last grand profession of this man of many +talents--that of the wit. That it was a profession there can be no +doubt, for he lived on it, it was all his capital. He paid his bills in +that coin alone: he paid his workmen, his actors, carpenters, builders +with no more sterling metal; with that ready tool he extracted loans +from the very men who came to be paid; that brilliant ornament +maintained his reputation in the senate, and his character in society. +But wit without wisdom--the froth without the fluid--the capital without +the pillar--is but a poor fortune, a wretched substitute for real worth +and honest utility. For a time men forgave to Mr. Sheridan--extravagant +and reckless as he was--what would long before have brought an honester, +better, but less amusing man to a debtor's prison and the contempt of +society; but only for a time was this career possible. + +Sheridan has now reached the pinnacle of his fame, and from this point +we have to trace that decline which ended so awfully. + +Whilst we call him a dishonest man, we must not be supposed to imply +that he was so in heart. It is pleaded for him that he tricked his +creditors 'for the fun of the thing,' like a modern Robin Hood, and like +that forester bold, he was mightily generous with other men's money. +Deception is deception whether in sport or earnest, and Sheridan, no +doubt, made it a very profitable employment. He had always a taste for +the art of duping, and he had begun early in life--soon after leaving +Harrow. He was spending a few days at Bristol, and wanted a pair of new +boots, but could not afford to pay for them. Shortly before he left, he +called on two bootmakers, and ordered of each a pair, promising payment +on delivery. He fixed the morning of his departure for the tradesmen to +send in their goods. When the first arrived he tried on the boots, +complaining that that for the _right_ foot pinched a little, and ordered +Crispin to take it back, stretch it, and bring it again at nine the next +morning. The second arrived soon after, and this time it was the boot +for the _left_ foot which pinched. Same complaint; same order given; +each had taken away only the pinching boot, and left the other behind. +The same afternoon Sheridan left in his new boots for town, and when the +two shoemakers called at nine the next day, each with a boot in his +hand, we can imagine their disgust at finding how neatly they had been +duped. + +Anecdotes of this kind swarm in every account of Richard Sheridan--many +of them, perhaps, quite apocryphal, others exaggerated, or attributed to +this noted trickster, but all tending to show how completely he was +master of this high art. His ways of eluding creditors used to delight +me, I remember, when an Oxford boy, and they are only paralleled by +Oxford stories. One of these may not be generally known, and was worthy +of Sheridan. Every Oxonian knows Hall, the boat-builder at Folly Bridge. +Mrs. Hall was, in my time, proprietress of those dangerous skiffs and +nutshell canoes which we young harebrains delighted to launch on the +Isis. Some youthful Sheridanian had a long account with this elderly and +bashful personage, who had applied in vain for her money, till, coming +one day to his rooms, she announced her intention not to leave till the +money was paid. 'Very well, Mrs. Hall, then you must sit down and make +yourself comfortable while I dress, for I am going out directly.' Mrs. +H. sat down composedly, and with equal composure the youth took off his +coat. Mrs. H. was not abashed, but in another moment the debtor removed +his waistcoat also. Mrs. H. was still immoveable. Sundry other articles +of dress followed, and the good lady began to be nervous. 'Now, Mrs. +Hall, you can stay if you like, but I assure you that I am going to +change _all_ my dress.' Suiting the action to the word, he began to +remove his lower garments, when Mrs. Hall, shocked and furious, rushed +from the room. + +This reminds us of Sheridan's treatment of a female creditor. He had for +some years hired his carriage-horses from Edbrooke in Clarges Street, +and his bill was a heavy one. Mrs. Edbrooke wanted a new bonnet, and +blew up her mate for not insisting on payment. The curtain lecture was +followed next day by a refusal to allow Mr. Sheridan to have the horses +till the account was settled. Mr. Sheridan sent the politest possible +message in reply, begging that Mrs. Edbrooke would allow his coachman to +drive her in his own carriage to his door, and promising that the matter +should be satisfactorily arranged. The good woman was delighted, dressed +in her best, and, bill in hand, entered the M.P.'s chariot. Sheridan +meanwhile had given orders to his servants. Mrs. Edbrooke was shown up +into the back drawing-room, where a slight luncheon, of which she was +begged to partake, was laid out; and she was assured that her debtor +would not keep her waiting long, though for the moment engaged. The +horse-dealer's wife sat down and discussed a wing of chicken and glass +of wine, and in the meantime her victimizer had been watching his +opportunity, slipped down stairs, jumped into the vehicle, and drove +off. Mrs. Edbrooke finished her lunch and waited in vain; ten minutes, +twenty, thirty, passed, and then she rang the bell: 'Very sorry, ma'am, +but Mr. Sheridan went out on important business half an hour ago.' 'And +the carriage?'--'Oh, ma'am, Mr. Sheridan never walks.' + +He procured his wine in the same style. Chalier, the wine-merchant, was +his creditor to a large amount, and had stopped supplies. Sheridan was +to give a grand dinner to the leaders of the Opposition, and had no port +or sherry to offer them. On the morning of the day fixed he sent for +Chalier, and told him he wanted to settle his account. The importer, +much pleased, said he would go home and bring it at once. 'Stay,' cried +the debtor, 'will you dine with me to-day; Lord----, Sir----, and +So-and-so are coming.' Chalier was flattered and readily accepted. +Returning to his office, he told his clerk that he should dine with Mr. +Sheridan, and therefore leave early. At the proper hour he arrived in +full dress, and was no sooner in the house., than his host despatched a +message to the clerk at the office, saying that Mr. Chalier wished him +to send up at once three dozen of Burgundy, two of claret, two of port, +&c., &c. Nothing seemed more natural, and the wine was forwarded, just +in time for the dinner. It was highly praised by the guests, who asked +Sheridan who was his wine-merchant. The host bowed towards Chalier, gave +him a high recommendation, and impressed him with the belief that he was +telling a polite falsehood in order to secure him other customers. +Little did he think that he was drinking his own wine, and that it was +not, and probably never would be, paid for! + +In like manner, when he wanted a particular Burgundy an innkeeper at +Richmond, who declined to supply it till his bill was paid, he sent for +the man, and had no sooner seen him safe in the house than he drove off +to Richmond, saw his wife, told her he had just had a conversation with +mine host, settled everything, and would, to save them trouble, take the +wine with him in his carriage. The condescension overpowered the good +woman, who ordered it at once to be produced, and Sheridan drove home +about the time that her husband was returning to Richmond, weary of +waiting for his absent debtor. But this kind of trickery could not +always succeed without some knowledge of his creditor's character. In +the case of Holloway, the lawyer, Sheridan took advantage of his +well-known vanity of his judgment of horse-flesh. Kelly gives the +anecdote as authentic. He was walking one day with Sheridan, close to +the churchyard of St. Paul's, Covent Garden, when, as ill-luck would +have it, up comes Holloway on horseback, and in a furious rage, +complains that he has called on Mr. Sheridan time and again in Hertford +Street, and can never gain admittance. He proceeds to violent threats, +and slangs his debtor roundly. Sheridan, cool as a whole bed of +cucumbers, takes no notice of these attacks, but quietly exclaims: 'What +a beautiful creature you're riding, Holloway!' The lawyer's weak point +was touched. + +'You were speaking to me the other day about a horse for Mrs. Sheridan; +now this would be a treasure for a lady.' + +'Does he canter well?' asks Sheridan, with a look of business. + +'Like Pegasus himself.' + +'If that's the case, I shouldn't mind, Holloway, stretching a point for +him. Do you mind showing me his paces?' + +'Not at all,' replies the lawyer, only too happy to show off his own: +and touching up the horse, put him to a quiet canter. The moment is not +to be lost; the churchyard gate is at hand; Sheridan slips in, knowing +that his mounted tormentor cannot follow him, and there bursts into a +roar of laughter, which is joined in by Kelly, but not by the returning +Holloway. + +[Illustration: "A TREASURE FOR A LADY"--SHERIDAN AND THE LAWYER.] + +But if he escaped an importunate lawyer once in a way like this, he +Required more ingenuity to get rid of the limbs of the law, when they +came, as they did frequently in his later years. It was the fashionable +thing in bygone novels of the 'Pelham' school, and Even in more recent +comedies, to introduce a well-dressed sheriff's officer at a dinner +party or ball, and take him through a variety of predicaments, ending, +at length, in the revelation of his real character; and probably some +such scene is still enacted from time to time in the houses of the +extravagant: but Sheridan's adventures with bailiffs seem to have +excited more attention. In the midst of his difficulties he never ceased +to entertain his friends, and 'why should he not do so, since he had not +to pay?' 'Pay your bills, sir? what a shameful waste of money!' he once +said. Thus, one day a young friend was met by him and taken back to +dinner, 'quite in a quiet way, just to meet a very old friend of mine, a +man of great talent, and most charming companion.' When they arrived +they found 'the old friend' already installed, and presenting a somewhat +unpolished appearance, which the young man explained to himself by +supposing him to be a genius of somewhat low extraction. His habits at +dinner, the eager look, the free use of his knife, and so forth, were +all accounted for in the same way, but that he was a genius of no slight +distinction was clear from the deep respect and attention with which +Sheridan listened to his slightest remarks, and asked his opinion on +English poetry. Meanwhile Sheridan and the servant between them plied +the genius very liberally with wine: and the former, rising, made him a +complimentary speech on his critical powers, while the young guest, who +had heard nothing from his lips but the commonest platitudes in very bad +English, grew more and more amused. The wine told in time, the 'genius' +sang songs which were more Saxon than delicate, talked loud, clapped his +host on the shoulder, and at last rolled fairly under the table. 'Now,' +said Sheridan, quite calmly to his young friend, 'we will go up stairs: +and, Jack,' (to his servant) 'take that man's hat and give him to the +watch.' He then explained in the same calm tone, that this was a bailiff +of whose company he was growing rather tired, and wanted to be freed. + +But his finest tricks were undoubtedly those by which he turned, +harlequin-like, a creditor into a lender This was done by sheer force of +persuasion, by assuming a lofty indignation, or by putting forth his +claims to mercy with the most touching eloquence over which he would +laugh heartily when his point was gained. He was often compelled to do +this during his theatrical management, when a troublesome creditor might +have interfered with the success of the establishment. He talked over an +upholsterer who came with a writ for £350 till the latter handed him, +instead, a cheque for £200. He once, when the actors struck for arrears +of wages to the amount of £3,000, and his bankers refused flatly to +Kelly to advance another penny, screwed the whole sum out of them in +less than a quarter of an hour by sheer talk. He got a gold watch from +Harris, the manager, with whom he had broken several appointments, by +complaining that as he had no watch he could never tell the time fixed +for their meetings; and, as for putting off pressing creditors, and +turning furious foes into affectionate friends, he was such an adept at +it, that his reputation as a dun-destroyer is quite on a par with his +fame as comedian and orator. + +Hoaxing, a style of amusement fortunately out of fashion how, was almost +a passion with him, and his practical jokes were as merciless as his +satire. He and Tickell, who had married the sister of his wife, used to +play them off on one another like a couple of schoolboys. One evening, +for instance, Sheridan got together all the crockery in the house and +arranged it in a dark passage, leaving a small channel for escape for +himself, and then, having teased Tickell till he rushed after him, +bounded out and picked his way gingerly along the passage. His friend +followed him unwittingly, and at the first step stumbled over a +washhand-basin, and fell forwards with a crash on piles of plates and +dishes, which cut his face and hands in a most cruel manner, Sheridan +all the while laughing immoderately at the end of the passage, secure +from vengeance. + +But his most impudent hoax was that on the Honourable House of Commons +itself. Lord Belgrave had made a very telling speech which he wound up +with a Greek quotation, loudly applauded. Sheridan had no arguments to +meet him with; so rising, he admitted the force of his lordship's +quotation (of which he probably did not understand a word), but added +that had he gone a little farther, and completed the passage, he would +have seen that the context completely altered the sense. He would prove +it to the House, he said, and forthwith rolled forth a grand string of +majestic gibberish so well imitated that the whole assembly cried, +'Hear, hear!' Lord Belgrave rose again, and frankly admitted that the +passage had the meaning ascribed to it by the honourable gentleman, and +that he had overlooked it at the moment. At the end of the evening, Fox, +who prided himself on his classical lore, came up to and said to him, +'Sheridan, how came you to be so ready with that passage? It is +certainly as you say, but I was not aware of it before you quoted it.' +Sheridan was wise enough to keep his own counsel for the time, but must +have felt delightfully tickled at the ignorance of the would-be savants +with whom he was politically associated. Probably Sheridan could not at +any time have quoted a whole passage of Greek on the spur of the moment; +but it is certain that he had not kept up his classics, and at the time +in question must have forgotten the little he ever knew of them. + +This facility of imitating exactly the sound of a language without +introducing a single word of it is not so very rare, but is generally +possessed in greater readiness by those who know no tongue but their +own, and are therefore more struck by the strangeness of a foreign one, +when hearing it. Many of us have heard Italian songs in which there was +not a word of actual Italian sung in London burlesques, and some of us +have laughed at Levassor's capital imitation of English; but perhaps the +cleverest mimic of the kind I ever heard was M. Laffitte, brother of +that famous banker who made his fortune by picking up a pin. This +gentleman could speak nothing but French, but had been brought by his +business into contact with foreigners of every race at Paris, and when +he once began his little trick, it was impossible to believe that he was +not possessed of a gift of tongues. His German and Italian were good +enough, but his English was so splendidly counterfeited, that after +listening to him for a short time, I suddenly heard a roar of laughter +from all present, for I had actually unconsciously _answered him_, +'Yes,' 'No,' 'Exactly so,' and 'I quite agree with you!' + +Undoubtedly much of Sheridan's depravity must be attributed to his +intimacy with a man whom it was a great honour to a youngster then to +know, but who would probably be scouted even from a London club in the +present day--the Prince of Wales. The part of a courtier is always +degrading enough to play; but to be courtier to a prince whose favour +was to be won by proficiency in vice, and audacity in follies, to +truckle to his tastes, to win his smiles by the invention of a new +pleasure and his approbation by the plotting of a new villany, what an +office for the author of 'The School for Scandal,' and the orator +renowned for denouncing the wickednesses of Warren Hastings! What a life +for the young poet who had wooed and won the Maid of Bath--for the man +of strong domestic affections, who wept over his father's sternness, and +loved his son only too well! It was bad enough for such mere worldlings +as Captain Hanger or Beau Brummell, but for a man of higher and purer +feelings, like Sheridan, who, with all his faults, had some poetry in +his soul, such a career was doubly disgraceful. + +It was at the house of the beautiful, lively, and adventurous Duchess of +Devonshire, the partizan of Charles James Fox, who loved him or his +cause--for Fox and Liberalism were often one in ladies' eyes--so well, +that she could give Steele, the butcher, a kiss for his vote, that +Sheridan first met the prince--then a boy in years, but already more +than an adult in vice. No doubt the youth whom Fox, Brummell, Hanger, +Lord Surrey, Sheridan, the tailors and the women, combined to turn at +once into the finest gentleman and greatest blackguard in Europe, was at +that time as fascinating in appearance and manner as any one, prince or +not, could be. He was by far the handsomest of the Hanoverians, and had +the least amount of their sheepish look. He possessed all their taste +and capacity, for gallantry, with apparently none of the German +coarseness which certain other Princes of Wales exhibited in their +amorous address. _His_ coarseness was of a more sensual, but less +imperious kind. He _had_ his redeeming points, which few of his +ancestors had, and his liberal hand and warm heart won him friends, +where his conduct could win him little else than contempt. Sheridan was +introduced to him by Fox, and Mrs. Sheridan by the Duchess of +Devonshire. The prince had that which always takes with Englishmen--a +readiness of conviviality, and a recklessness of character. He was ready +to chat, drink, and bet with Sheridan, or any new comer equally well +recommended, and an introduction to young George was always followed by +an easy recognition. With all this he managed to keep up a certain +amount of royal dignity under the most trying circumstances, but he had +none of that easy grace which made Charles II. beloved by his +associates. When the George had gone too far, he had no resource but to +cut the individual with whom he had hobbed and nobbed, and he was as +ungrateful in his enmities as he was ready with his friendship. Brummell +had taught him to dress, and Sheridan had given him wiser counsels: he +quarrelled with both for trifles, which, if he had had real dignity, +would never have occurred, and if he had had real friendship, would +easily have been overlooked. + +Sheridan's breach with the prince was honourable to him. He could not +wholly approve of the conduct of that personage and his ministers, and +he told him openly that his life was at his service, but his character +was the property of the country. The prince replied that Sheridan 'might +impeach his ministers on the morrow--that would not impair their +friendship;' yet turned on his heel, and was never his friend again. +When, again, the 'delicate investigation' came off, he sent for +Sheridan, and asked his aid. The latter replied, 'Your royal highness +honours me, but I will never take part against a woman, whether she be +right or wrong.' His political courage atones somewhat for the want of +moral courage he displayed in pandering to the prince's vices. + +Many an anecdote is told of Sheridan and 'Wales'--many, indeed, that +cannot be repeated. Their bets were often of the coarsest nature, won by +Sheridan in the coarsest manner. A great intimacy sprang up between the +two reprobates, and Sheridan became one of the satellites of that +dissolute prince. There are few of the stories of their adventures which +can be told in a work like this, but we may give one or two specimens of +the less disgraceful character:-- + +The Prince, Lord Surrey, and Sheridan were in the habit of seeking +nightly adventures of any kind that suggested itself to their lively +minds. A low tavern, still in existence, was the rendezvous of the heir +to the crown and his noble and distinguished associates. This was the +'Salutation,' in Tavistock Court, Covent Garden, a night house for +gardeners and countrymen, and for the sharpers who fleeced both, and was +kept by a certain Mother Butler, who favoured in every way the +adventurous designs of her exalted guests. Here wigs, smock-frocks, and +other disguises were in readiness; and here, at call, was to be found a +ready-made magistrate, whose sole occupation was to deliver the young +Haroun and his companions from the dilemmas which their adventures +naturally brought them into, and which were generally more or less +concerned with the watch. Poor old watch! what happy days, when members +of parliament, noblemen, and future monarchs condescended to break thy +bob-wigged head! and--blush, Z 350, immaculate constable--to toss thee a +guinea to buy plaster with. + +In addition to the other disguise, _aliases_ were of course assumed. The +prince went by the name of Blackstock, Greystock was my Lord Surrey, and +Thinstock Richard Brinsley Sheridan. The treatment of women by the +police is traditional. The 'unfortunate'--unhappy creatures!--are their +pet aversion; and once in their clutches, receive no mercy. The +'Charley' of old was quite as brutal as the modern Hercules of the +glazed hat, and the three adventurers showed an amount of zeal worthy of +a nobler cause, in rescuing the drunken Lais from his grasp. On one +occasion they seem to have hit on a 'deserving case;' a slight skirmish +with the watch ended in a rescue, and the erring creature was taken off +to a house of respectability sufficient to protect her. Here she told +her tale, which, however improbable, turned out to be true. It was a +very old, a very simple one--the common history of many a frail, foolish +girl, cursed with beauty, and the prey of a practised seducer. The main +peculiarity lay in the fact of her respectable birth, and his position, +she being the daughter of a solicitor, he the son of a nobleman. +Marriage was promised, of course, as it has been promised a million +times with the same intent, and for the millionth time was not +performed. The seducer took her from her home, kept her quiet for a +time, and when the novelty was gone, abandoned her. The old story went +on; poverty--a child--a mother's love struggling with a sense of +shame--a visit to her father's house at the last moment, as a forlorn +hope. There she had crawled on her knees to one of those relentless +parents on whose heads lie the utter loss of their children's souls. The +false pride, that spoke of the blot on his name, the disgrace of his +house--when a Saviour's example should have bid him forgive and raise +the penitent in her misery from the dust--whispered him to turn her from +his door. He ordered the footman to put her out. The man, a nobleman in +plush, moved by his young mistress's utter misery, would not obey though +it cost him his place, and the harder-hearted father himself thrust his +starving child into the cold street, into the drizzling rain, and +slammed the door upon her cries of agony. The footman slipped out after +her, and five shillings--a large sum for him--found its way from his +kind hand to hers. Now the common ending might have come; now +starvation, the slow, unwilling, recourse to more shame and deeper vice; +then the forced hilarity, the unreal smile, which in so many of these +poor creatures hides a canker at the heart; the gradual +degradation--lower still and lower--oblivion for a moment sought in the +bottle--a life of sin and death ended in a hospital. The will of +Providence turned the frolic of three voluptuaries to good account; the +prince gave his purse-full, Sheridan his one last guinea for her present +needs: the name of the good-hearted Plush was discovered, and he was +taken into Carlton House, where he soon became known as Roberts, the +prince's confidential servant: and Sheridan bestirred himself to rescue +for ever the poor lady, whose beauty still remained as a temptation. He +procured her a situation, where she studied for the stage, on which she +eventually appeared. 'All's well that ends well:' her secret was kept, +till one admirer came honourably forward. To him it was confided, and he +was noble enough to forgive the one false step of youth. She was well +married, and the boy for whom she had suffered so much fell at +Trafalgar, a lieutenant in the navy. + +To better men such an adventure would have been a solemn warning; such a +tale, told by the ruined one herself, a sermon, every word of which +would have clung to their memories. What effect, if any, it may have had +on Blackstock and his companions must have been very fleeting. + +It is not so very long since the Seven Dials and St. Giles' were haunts +of wickedness and dens of thieves, into which the police scarcely dared +to penetrate. Probably their mysteries would have afforded more +amusement to the artist and the student of character than to the mere +seeker of adventure, but it was still, I remember, in my early days, a +great feat to visit by night one of the noted 'cribs' to which 'the +profession' which fills Newgate was wont to resort. The 'Brown Bear,' in +Broad Street, St. Giles', was one of these pleasant haunts, and thither +the three adventurers determined to go. This style of adventure is out +of date, and no longer amusing. Of course a fight ensued, in which the +prince and his companions showed immense pluck against terrible odds, +and in which, as one reads in the novels of the 'London Journal' or +'Family Herald,' the natural superiority of the well-born of course +displayed itself to great advantage. Surely Bulwer has described such +scenes too graphically in some of his earlier novels to make a minute +description here at all necessary; but the reader who is curious in the +matter may be referred to a work which has recently appeared under the +title of 'Sheridan and his Times,' professing to be written by an +Octogenarian, intimate with the hero. The fray ended with the arrival of +the watch, who rescued Blackstock, Greystock, and Thinstock, and with +Dogberryan stupidity carried them off to a neighbouring lock-up. The +examination which took place was just the occasion for Sheridan's fun to +display itself on, and pretending to turn informer, he succeeded in +bewildering the unfortunate parochial constable, who conducted it, till +the arrival of the magistrate, whose duty was to deliver his friends +from durance vile. The whole scene is well described in the book just +referred to, with, we presume, a certain amount of idealizing; but the +'Octogenarian' had probably heard the story from Sheridan himself, and +the main points must be accepted as correct. The affair ended, as usual, +with a supper at the 'Salutation.' + +We must now follow Sheridan in his gradual downfall. + +One of the causes of this--as far as money was concerned--was his +extreme indolence and utter negligence. He trusted far too much to his +ready wit and rapid genius. Thus when 'Pizarro' was to appear, day after +day went by, and nothing was done. On the night of representation, only +four acts out of five were written, and even these had not been +rehearsed, the principal performers, Siddons, Charles Kemble and +Barrymore, having only just received their parts. Sheridan was up in the +prompter's room actually writing the fifth act while the first was being +performed, and every now and then appeared in the green-room with a +fresh relay of dialogue, and setting all in good humour by his merry +abuse of his own negligence. In spite of this, 'Pizarro' succeeded. He +seldom wrote except at night, and surrounded by a profusion of lights. +Wine was his great stimulant in composition, as it has been to better +and worse authors. 'If the thought is slow to come,' he would say, 'a +glass of good wine encourages it; and when it does come, a glass of good +wine rewards it.' Those glasses of good wine, were, unfortunately, even +more frequent than the good thoughts, many and merry as they were. + +His neglect of letters was a standing joke against him. He never took +the trouble to open any that he did not expect, and often left sealed +many that he was most anxious to read. He once appeared with his begging +face at the Bank, humbly asking an advance of twenty pounds. 'Certainly, +sir; would you like any more?--fifty or a hundred?' said the smiling +clerk. Sheridan was overpowered. He _would_ like a hundred. 'Two or +three?' asked the scribe. Sheridan thought he was joking, but was ready +for two or even three--he was always ready for more. But he could not +conceal his surprise. 'Have you not received our letter?' the clerk +asked, perceiving it. Certainly he had received the epistle, which +informed him that his salary as Receiver-General of Cornwall had been +paid in, but he had never opened it. + +This neglect of letters once brought him into a troublesome lawsuit +about the theatre. It was necessary to pay certain demands, and he had +applied to the Duke of Bedford to be his security. The duke had +consented, and for a whole year his letter of consent remained unopened. +In the meantime Sheridan had believed that the duke had neglected him, +and allowed the demands to be brought into court. + +In the same way he had long before committed himself in the affair with +Captain Matthews. In order to give a public denial of certain reports +circulated in Bath, he had called upon an editor, requesting him to +insert the said reports in his paper in order that he might write him a +letter to refute them. The editor at once complied, the calumny was +printed and published, but Sheridan forgot all about his own refutation, +which was applied for in vain till too late. + +Other causes were his extravagance and intemperance. There was an utter +want of even common moderation in everything he did. Whenever his boyish +spirit suggested any freak, whenever a craving of any kind possessed +him, no matter what the consequences here or hereafter, he rushed +heedlessly into the indulgence of it. Perhaps the enemy had never an +easier subject to deal with. Any sin in which there was a show of +present mirth, or easy pleasure, was as easily taken up by Sheridan as +if he had not a single particle of conscience or religious feeling, and +yet we are not at all prepared to say that he lacked either; he had only +deadened both by excessive indulgence of his fancies. The temptation of +wealth and fame had been too much for the poor and obscure young man who +rose to them so suddenly, and, as so often happens, those very talents +which should have been his glory, were, in fact, his ruin. + +His extravagance was unbounded. At a time when misfortune lay thick upon +him, and bailiffs were hourly expected, he would invite a large party to +a dinner, which a prince might have given, and to which one prince +sometimes sat down. On one occasion, having no plate left from the +pawnbroker's, he had to prevail on 'my uncle' to lend him some for a +banquet he was to give. The spoons and forks were sent, and with them +two of his men, who, dressed in livery, waited, no doubt with the most +vigilant attention, on the party. Such at that period was the host's +reputation, when he could not even be trusted not to pledge another +man's property. At one time his income was reckoned at £15,000 a year, +when the theatre was prosperous. Of this he is said to have spent not +more than £5,000 on his household, while the balance went to pay for his +former follies, debts, and the interest, lawsuits often arising from +mere carelessness and judgments against the theatre! Probably a great +deal of it was betted away, drank away, thrown away in one way or +another. As for betting, he generally lost all the wagers he made: as he +said himself--'I never made a bet upon my own judgment that I did not +lose; and I never won but one, which I had made against my judgment.' +His bets were generally laid in hundreds; and though he did not gamble, +he could of course run through a good deal of money in this way. He +betted on every possible trifle, but chiefly, it would seem, on +political possibilities; the state of the Funds, the result of an +election, or the downfall of a ministry. Horse-races do not seem to have +possessed any interest for him, and, in fact, he scarcely knew one kind +of horse from another. He was never an adept at field-sports, though +very ambitious of being thought a sportsman. Once, when staying in the +country, he went out with a friend's gamekeeper to shoot pheasants, and +after wasting a vast amount of powder and shot upon the air, he was only +rescued from ignominy by the sagacity of his companion, who, going a +little behind him when a bird rose, brought it down so neatly that +Sheridan, believing he had killed it himself, snatched it up, and rushed +bellowing with glee back to the house to show that he _could_ shoot. In +the same way, he tried his hand at fishing in a wretched little stream +behind the Deanery at Winchester, using, however, a net, as easier to +handle than a rod. Some boys, who had watched his want of success a long +time, at last bought a few pennyworth of pickled herrings, and throwing +them on the stream, allowed them to float down towards the eager +disciple of old Izaak. Sheridan saw them coming, rushed in regardless of +his clothes, cast his net and in great triumph secured them. When he had +landed his prize, however, there were the boys bursting with laughter, +and Piscator saw he was their dupe. 'Ah!' cried he, laughing in concert, +as he looked at his dripping clothes, 'this is a pretty _pickle_ +indeed!' + +His extravagance was well known to his friends, as well as to his +creditors. Lord Guildford met him one day. 'Well, Sherry, so you've +taken a new house, I hear.'--'Yes, and you'll see now that everything +will go on like clockwork.'--'Ay,' said my lord, with a knowing leer, +'_tick, tick_.' Even his son Tom used to laugh at him for it. 'Tom, if +you marry that girl, I'll cut you off with a shilling,'--'Then you must +borrow it,' replied the ingenuous youth.[8] Tom sometimes disconcerted +his father with his inherited wit--his only inheritance. He pressed +urgently for money on one, as on many an occasion. 'I have none,' was +the reply, as usual; 'there is a pair of pistols up stairs, a horse in +the enable, the night is dark, and Hounslow Heath at hand.' + +[8: Another version is that Tom replied: 'You don't happen to have it +about you, sir, do you?'] + +'I understand what you mean,' replied young Tom; 'but I tried that last +night, and unluckily stopped your treasurer, Peake, who told me you had +been beforehand with him, and robbed him of every sixpence he had in the +world.' + +So much for the respect of son to father! + +Papa had his revenge on the young wit, when Tom, talking of Parliament, +announced his intention of entering it on an independent basis, ready to +be bought by the highest bidder 'I shall write on my forehead,' said he, +"To let."' + +'And under that, Tom, "Unfurnished,"' rejoined Sherry the elder. The +joke is now stale enough. + +But Sheridan was more truly witty in putting down a young braggart whom +he met at dinner at a country-house. There are still to be found, like +the bones of dead asses in a field newly ploughed, in some parts of the +country, youths, who are so hopelessly behind their age, and indeed +every age, as to look upon authorship as degrading, all knowledge, save +Latin and Greek, as 'a bore,' and all entertainment but hunting, +shooting, fishing, and badger-drawing, as unworthy of a man. In the last +century these young animals, who unite the modesty of the puppy with the +clear-sightedness of the pig, not to mention the progressiveness of +another quadruped, were more numerous than in the present day, and in +consequence more forward in their remarks. It was one of these charming +youths, who was staying in the same house as Sheridan, and who, quite +unprovoked, began at dinner to talk of 'actors and authors, and those +low sort of people, you know.' Sheridan said nought, but patiently bided +his time. The next day there was a large dinner-party, and Sheridan and +the youth happened to sit opposite to one another in the most +conspicuous part of the table. Young Nimrod was kindly obliging his side +of the table with extraordinary leaps of his hunter, the perfect working +of his new double-barrelled Manton, &c., bringing of course number one +in as the hero in each case. In a moment of silence, Sheridan, with an +air of great politeness, addressed his unhappy victim. 'He had not,' he +said, 'been able to catch the whole of the very interesting account he +had heard Mr. ---- relating.' All eyes were turned upon the two. 'Would +Mr. ---- permit him to ask who it was who made the extraordinary leap he +had mentioned?--'I, sir,' replied the youth with some pride. 'Then who +was it killed the wild duck at that distance?'--'I, sir.' 'Was it your +setter who behaved so well?'--'Yes, mine, sir,' replied the youth, +getting rather red over this examination. 'And who caught the huge +salmon so neatly?'--'I, sir.' And so the questioning went on through a +dozen more items, till the young man, weary of answering 'I, sir,' and +growing redder and redder every moment, would gladly have hid his head +under the table-cloth, in spite of his sporting prowess. But Sheridan +had to give him the _coup de grace_. + +'So, sir,' said he, very politely, 'you were the chief _actor_ in every +anecdote, and the _author_ of them all; surely it is impolitic to +despise your own professions.' + +Sheridan's intemperance was as great and as incurable as his +extravagance, and we think his mind, if not his body, lived only on +stimulants. He could neither write nor speak without them One day, +before one of his finest speeches in the House, he was seen to enter a +coffee-house, call for a pint of brandy, and swallow it 'neat,' and +almost at one gulp. His friends occasionally interfered. This drinking, +they told him, would destroy the coat of his stomach. 'Then my stomach +must digest in its waistcoat,' laughed Sheridan. + +Where are the topers of yore? Jovial I will not call them, for every one +knows that + + 'Mirth and laughter.' + +worked up with a corkscrew, are followed by + + 'Headaches and hot coppers the day after.' + +But where are those Anakim of the bottle, who _could_ floor their two of +port and one of Madeira, though the said two and one floored them in +turn? The race, I believe, has died out. Our heads have got weaker, as +our cellars grew emptier. The arrangement was convenient. The daughters +of Eve have nobly undertaken to atone for the naughty conduct of their +primeval mamma, by reclaiming men, and dragging them from the Hades of +the mahogany to that seventh heaven of muffins and English ballads +prepared for them in the drawing-room. + +We are certainly astounded, even to incredulity, when we read of the +deeds of a David or a Samson; but such wonderment can be nothing +compared to that which a generation or two hence will feel, when +sipping, as a great extravagance and unpardonable luxury, two +thimblefuls of 'African Sherry,' the young demirep of the day reads that +three English gentlemen, Sheridan, Richardson, and Ward, sat down one +day to dinner, and before they rose again--if they ever rose, which +seems doubtful--or, at least, were raised, had emptied five bottles of +port, two of Madeira, and one of brandy! Yet this was but one instance +in a thousand; there was nothing extraordinary in it, and it is only +mentioned because the amount drunk is accurately given by the unhappy +owner of the wine, Kelly, the composer, who, unfortunately, or +fortunately, was not present, and did not even imagine that the three +honourable gentlemen were discussing his little store. Yet Sheridan does +not seem to have believed much in his friend's vintages, for he advised +him to alter his brass plate to 'Michael Kelly, Composer of Wine and +Importer of Music.' He made a better joke, when, dining with Lord +Thurlow, he tried in vain to induce him to produce a second bottle of +some extremely choice Constantia from the Cape of Good Hope. 'Ah,' he +muttered to his neighbour, 'pass me that decanter, if you please, for I +must return to Madeira, as I see I cannot _double the Cape_' + +But as long as Richard Brinsley was a leader of political and +fashionable circles, as long as he had a position to keep up, an +ambition to satisfy, a labour to complete, his drinking was, if not +moderate, not extraordinary for his time and his associates. But when a +man's ambition is limited to mere success--when fame and a flash for +himself are all he cares for, and there is no truer, grander motive for +his sustaining the position he has climbed to--when, in short, it is his +own glory, not mankind's good, he has ever striven for--woe, woe, woe +when the hour of success is come! I cannot stop to name and examine +instances, but let me be allowed to refer to that bugbear who is called +up whenever greatness of any kind has to be illustrated--Napoleon the +Great; or let me take any of the lesser Napoleons in lesser grades in +any nation, any age--the men who have had no star but self and +self-glory before them--and let me ask if any one can be named who, if +he has survived the attainment of his ambition, has not gone down the +other side of the hill somewhat faster than he came up it? Then let me +select men whose guiding-star has been the good of their +fellow-creatures, or the glory of God, and watch their peaceful useful +end on that calm summit that they toiled so honestly to reach. The +difference comes home to us. The moral is read only at the end of the +story. Remorse rings it for ever in the ears of the dying--often too +long a-dying--man who has laboured for himself. Peace reads it smilingly +to him whose generous toil for others has brought its own reward. + +Sheridan had climbed with the stride of a giant, laughing at rocks, at +precipices, at slippery watercourses. He had spread the wings of genius +to poise himself withal, and gained one peak after another, while +homelier worth was struggling midway, clutching the bramble and clinging +to the ferns. He had, as Byron said in Sheridan's days of decay, done +the best in all he undertook, written the best comedy, best opera, best +farce; spoken the best parody, and made the best speech. Sheridan, when +those words of the young poet were told him, shed tears. + +Perhaps the bitter thought struck him, that he had _not_ led the best, +but the _worst_ life; that comedy, farce, opera, monody, and oration +were nothing, nothing to a pure conscience and a peaceful old age; that +they could not save him from shame and poverty--from debt, disgrace, +drunkenness--from grasping, but long-cheated creditors, who dragged his +bed from under the feeble, nervous, ruined old man. Poor Sheridan! his +end was too bitter for us to cast one stone more upon him. Let it be +noted that it was in the beginning of his decline, when, having reached +the climax of all his ambition and completed his fame as a dramatist, +orator, and wit, that the hand of Providence mercifully interposed to +rescue this reckless man from his downfall. It smote him with that +common but powerful weapon--death. Those he best loved were torn from +him, one after another, rapidly, and with little warning. The Linleys, +the 'nest of nightingales,' were all delicate as nightingales should be; +and it seemed as if this very time was chosen for their deaths, that the +one erring soul--more precious, remember, than many just lives--might be +called back. Almost within one year he lost his dear sister-in-law, the +wife of his most intimate friend Tickell; Maria Linley, the last of the +family; his own wife, and his little daughter. One grief succeeded +another so rapidly that Sheridan was utterly unnerved, utterly brought +low by them; but it was his wife's death that told most upon him. With +that wife he had always been the lover rather than the husband. She had +married him in the days of his poverty, when her beauty was so +celebrated that she might have wed whom she would. She had risen with +him and shared his later anxieties. Yet she had seen him forget, neglect +her, and seek other society. In spite of his tender affection for her +and for his children, he had never made a _home_ of their home. Vanity +Fair had kept him ever flitting, and it is little to be wondered at that +Mrs. Sheridan was the object of much, though ever respectful +admiration.[9] Yet, in spite of calumny, she died with a fair fame. +Decline had long pressed upon her, yet her last illness was too brief. +In 1792 she was taken away, still in the summer of her days, and with +her last breath uttering her love for the man who had never duly prized +her. His grief was terrible; yet it passed, and wrought no change. He +found solace in his beloved son, and yet more beloved daughter. A few +months--and the little girl followed her mother. Again his grief was +terrible: again passed and wrought no change. Yes, it did work some +change, but not for the better; it drove him to the goblet; and from +that time we may date the confirmation of his habit of drinking. The +solemn warnings had been unheeded: they were to be repeated by a +long-suffering God in a yet more solemn manner, which should touch him +yet more nearly. His beautiful wife had been the one restraint upon his +folly and his lavishness. Now she was gone, they burst out afresh, +wilder than ever. + +[9: Lord Edward Fitzgerald was one of the most devoted of her admirers: +he chose his wife, Pamela, because she resembled Mrs. Sheridan.--See +Moore's Life of Lord Edward.] + +For a while after these afflictions, which were soon completed in the +death of his most intimate friend and boyish companion, Tickell, +Sheridan threw himself again into the commotion of the political world. +But in this we shall not follow him. Three years after the death of his +first wife he married again. He was again fortunate in his choice. +Though now forty-four, he succeeded in winning the heart of a most +estimable and charming young lady with a fortune of £5,000. She must +indeed have loved or admired the widower very much to consent to be the +wife of a man so notoriously irregular, to use a mild term, in his life. +But Sheridan fascinated wherever he went, and young ladies like 'a +little wildness.' His heart was always good, and where he gave it, he +gave it warmly, richly, fully. His second wife was Miss Esther Jane +Ogle, daughter of the Dean of Winchester. She was given to him on +condition of his settling in all £20,000, upon her--a wise proviso with +such a spendthrift--and he had to raise the money, as usual. + +His political career was sufficiently brilliant, though his real fame as +a speaker rests on his great oration at Hastings' trial. In 1806 he +satisfied another point of his ambition, long desired, and was elected +for the city of Westminster, which he had ardently coveted when Fox +represented it. But a dissolution threw him again on the mercy of the +popular party; and again he offered himself for Westminster: but, in +spite of all the efforts made for him, without success. He was returned, +instead, for Ilchester. + +Meanwhile his difficulties increased; extravagance, debt, want of energy +to meet both, brought him speedily into that position when a man accepts +without hesitation the slightest offer of aid. The man who had had an +income of £15,000 a year, and settled £20,000 on his wife, allowed a +poor friend to pay a bill for £5 for him, and clutched eagerly at a £50 +note when displayed to him by another. Extravagance is the father of +meanness, and Sheridan was often mean in the readiness with which he +accepted offers, and the anxiety with which he implored assistance. It +is amusing in the present day to hear a man talk of 'a debt of honour,' +as if all debts did not demand honour to pay them--as if all debts +incurred without hope of repayment were not dishonourable. A story is +told relative to the old-fashioned idea of a 'debt of honour.' A +tradesman, to whom he had given a bill for £200, called on him for the +amount. A heap of gold was lying on the table. 'Don't look that way,' +cried Sheridan, after protesting that he had not a penny in the world, +'that is to pay a debt of honour.' The applicant, with some wit, tore up +the bill he held. 'Now, Mr. Sheridan,' quoth he, 'mine is a debt of +honour too.' It is to be hoped that Sheridan handed him the money. + +The story of Gunter's bill is not so much to his credit, Hanson, an +ironmonger, called upon him and pressed for payment. A bill sent in by +the famous confectioner was lying on the table. A thought struck the +debtor, who had no means of getting rid of his importunate applicant. +'You know Gunter?' he asked. 'One of the safest men in London,' replied +the ironmonger. 'Then will you be satisfied if I give you his _bill_ for +the amount?'--'Certainly.' Thereupon Sheridan handed him the neatly +folded account and rushed from the room, leaving the creditor to +discover the point of Mr. Sheridan's little fun. + +Still Sheridan might have weathered through the storm. Drury Lane was a +mine of wealth to him, and with a little care might have been really +profitable. The lawsuits, the debts, the engagements upon it, all rose +from his negligence and extravagance. But Old Drury was doomed. On the +24th February, 1809, soon after the conclusion of the performances, it +was announced to be in flames. Rather it announced itself. In a few +moments it was blazing--a royal bonfire. Sheridan was in the House of +Commons at the time. The reddened clouds above London threw the glare +back even to the windows of the House. The members rushed from their +seats to see the unwonted light, and in consideration for Sheridan, an +adjournment was moved. But he rose calmly, though sadly, and begged that +no misfortune of his should interrupt the public business. His +independence, he said--witty in the midst of his troubles--had often +been questioned, but was now confirmed, for he had nothing more to +depend upon. He then left the House, and repaired to the scene of +conflagration. + +Not long after, Kelly found him sitting quite composed in 'The Bedford,' +sipping his wine, as if nothing had happened. The musician expressed his +astonishment at Mr. Sheridan's _sang froid_. 'Surely,' replied the wit, +'you'll admit that a man has a right to take his wine by his own +fireside.' But Sheridan was only drowning care, not disregarding it. The +event was really too much for him, though perhaps he did not realize the +extent of its effect at the time. In a word, all he had in the world +went with the theatre. Nothing was left either for him or the principal +shareholders. Yet he bore it all with fortitude, till he heard that the +harpsichord, on which his first wife was wont to play, was gone too. +Then he burst into tears. + +This fire was the opening of the shaft down which the great man sank +rapidly. While his fortunes kept up, his spirits were not completely +exhausted. He drank much, but as an indulgence rather than as a relief. +Now it was by wine alone that he could even raise himself to the common +requirements of conversation. He is described, _before_ dinner, as +depressed, nervous, and dull; _after_ dinner only did the old fire break +out, the old wit blaze up, and Dick Sheridan was Dick Sheridan once +more. He was, in fact, fearfully oppressed by the long-accumulated and +never-to-be-wiped-off debts, for which he was now daily pressed. In +quitting Parliament he resigned his sanctuary, and left himself an easy +prey to the Jews and Gentiles, whom he had so long dodged and deluded +with his ready ingenuity. Drury Lane, as we all know, was rebuilt, and +the birth of the new house heralded with a prologue by Byron, about as +good as the one in 'Rejected Addresses,' the cleverest parodies ever +written, and suggested by this very occasion. The building-committee +having advertised for a prize prologue Samuel Whitbread sent in his own +attempt, in which, as probably in a hundred others, the new theatre was +compared to a Phoenix rising out of the ashes of the old one. Sheridan +said Whitbread's description of a Phoenix was excellent, for it was +quite a _poulterer's description_. + +This same Sam Whitbread was now to figure conspicuously in the life of +Mr. Richard B. Sheridan. The ex-proprietor was found to have an interest +in the theatre to the amount of £150,000--not a trifle to be despised; +but he was now past sixty, and it need excite no astonishment that, even +with all his liabilities, he was unwilling to begin again the cares of +management, or mismanagement which he had endured so many years. He sold +his interest, in which his son Tom was joined, for £60,000. This sum +would have cleared off his debts and left him a balance sufficient to +secure comfort for his old age. But it was out of the question that any +money matters should go right with Dick Sheridan. Of the rights and +wrongs of the quarrel between him and Whitbread, who was the chairman of +the committee for building the new theatre, I do not pretend to form an +opinion. Sheridan was not naturally mean, though he descended to +meanness when hard pressed--what man of his stamp does not? Whitbread +was truly friendly to him for a time. Sheridan was always complaining +that he was sued for debts he did not owe, and kept out of many that +were due to him. Whitbread knew his man well, and if he withheld what +was owing to him, may be excused on the ground of real friendship. All I +know is, that Sheridan and Whitbread quarrelled; that the former did +not, or affirmed that he did not, receive the full amount of his claim +on the property, and that, when what he had received was paid over to +his principal creditors, there was little or nothing left for my lord to +spend in banquets to parliamentary friends and jorums of brandy in small +coffee-houses. + +Because a man is a genius, he is not of necessity an upright, honest, +ill-used, oppressed, and cruelly-entreated man. Genius plays the fool +wittingly, and often enough quite knowingly, with its own interests. It +is its privilege to do so, and no one has a right to complain. But then +Genius ought to hold its tongue, and not make itself out a martyr, when +it has had the dubious glory of defying common-sense. If Genius despises +gold, well and good, but when he has spurned it, he should not whine out +that he is wrongfully kept from it. Poor Sheridan may or may not have +been right in the Whitbread quarrel; he has had his defenders, and I am +not ambitious of being numbered among them; but whatever were now his +troubles were brought on by his own disregard of all that was right and +beautiful in conduct. If he went down to the grave a pauper and a +debtor, he had made his own bed, and in it he was to lie. + +Lie he did, wretchedly, on the most unhappy bed that old age ever lay +in. There is little more of importance to chronicle of his latter days. +The retribution came on slowly but terribly. The career of a ruined man +is not a pleasant topic to dwell upon, and I leave Sheridan's misery for +Mr. J. B. Gough to whine and roar over when he wants a shocking example. +Sheridan might have earned many a crown in that capacity, if +temperance-oratory had been the passion of the day. Debt, disease, +depravity--these words describe enough the downward career of his old +age. To eat, still more to drink, was now the troublesome enigma of the +quondam genius. I say quondam, for all the marks of that genius were now +gone. One after another his choicest properties made their way to 'my +uncle's.' The books went first, as if they could be most easily +dispensed with; the remnants of his plate followed; then his pictures +were sold; and at last even the portrait of his first wife, by Reynolds, +was left in pledge for a 'further remittance.' + +The last humiliation arrived in time, and the associate of a prince, the +eloquent organ of a party, the man who had enjoyed £15,000, a year, was +carried off to a low sponging-house. His pride forsook him in that +dismal and disgusting imprisonment, and he wrote to Whitbread a letter +which his defenders ought not to have published. He had his +friends--stanch ones too--and they aided him. Peter Moore, ironmonger, +and even Canning, lent him money and released him from time to time. For +six years after the burning of the old theatre, he continued to go down +and down. Disease now attacked him fiercely. In the spring of 1816 he +was fast waning towards extinction. His day was past; he had outlived +his fame as a wit and social light; he was forgotten by many, if not by +most, of his old associates. He wrote to Rogers, 'I am absolutely undone +and broken-hearted.' Poor Sheridan! in spite of all thy faults, who is +he whose morality is so stern that he cannot shed one tear over thy +latter days! God forgive us, we are all sinners; and if we weep not for +this man's deficiency, how shall we ask tears when our day comes? Even +as I write, I feel my hand tremble and my eyes moisten over the sad end +of one whom I love, though he died before I was born. 'They are going to +put the carpets out of window,' he wrote to Rogers, 'and break into Mrs. +S.'s room and _take me_. For God's sake let me see you!' See him!--see +one friend who could and would help him in his misery! Oh! happy may +that man count himself who has never wanted that one friend, and felt +the utter helplessness of that want! Poor Sheridan! had he ever asked, +or hoped, or looked for that Friend out of _this_ world it had been +better; for 'the Lord thy God is a jealous God,' and we go on seeking +human friendship and neglecting the divine till it is too late. He found +one hearty friend in his physician, Dr. Bain, when all others had +forsaken him. The spirit of White's and Brookes', the companion of a +prince and a score of noblemen, the enlivener of every 'fashionable' +table, was forgotten by all but this one doctor. Let us read Moore's +description: 'A sheriff's officer at length arrested the dying man _in +his bed_, and was about to carry him off, in his blankets, to a +sponging-house, when Dr. Bain interfered.' Who would live the life of +revelry that Sheridan lived to have such an end? A few days after, on +the 7th of July, 1816, in his sixty-fifth year, he died. Of his last +hours the late Professor Smythe wrote an admirable and most touching +account, a copy of which was circulated in manuscript. The Professor, +hearing of Sheridan's condition, asked to see him, with a view, not only +of alleviating present distress, but of calling the dying man to +repentance. From his hands the unhappy Sheridan received the Holy +Communion; his face, during that solemn rite,--doubly solemn when it is +performed in the chamber of death, 'expressed,' Smythe relates, '_the +deepest awe_' That phrase conveys to the mind impressions not easy to be +defined, not soon to be forgotten. + +Peace! there was not peace even in death, and the creditor pursued him +even into the 'waste wide,'--even to the coffin. He was lying in state, +when a gentleman in the deepest mourning called, it is said, at the +house, and introducing himself as an old and much-attached friend of the +deceased, begged to be allowed to look upon his face. The tears which +rose in his eyes, the tremulousness of his quiet voice, the pallor of +his mournful face, deceived the unsuspecting servant, who accompanied +him to the chamber of death, removed the lid of the coffin, turned down +the shrowd, and revealed features which had once been handsome, but long +since rendered almost hideous by drinking. The stranger gazed with +profound emotion, while he quietly drew from his pocket a bailiff's +wand, and touching the corpse's face with it, suddenly altered his +manner to one of considerable glee, and informed the servant that he had +arrested the corpse in the king's name for a debt of £500. It was the +morning of the funeral, which was to be attended by half the grandees of +England, and in a few minutes the mourners began to arrive. But the +corpse was the bailiff's property, till his claim was paid, and nought +but the money would soften the iron capturer. Canning and Lord Sidmouth +agreed to settle the matter, and over the coffin the debt was paid. + +Poor corpse! was it worth £500--diseased, rotting as it was, and about +to be given for nothing to mother earth? Was it worth the pomp of the +splendid funeral and the grand hypocrisy of grief with which it was +borne to Westminster Abbey? Was not rather the wretched old man, while +he yet struggled on in life, worth this outlay, worth this show of +sympathy? Folly; not folly only--but a lie! What recked the dead of the +four noble pall-bearers--the Duke of Bedford, the Earl of Lauderdale, +Earl Mulgrave, and the Bishop of London? What good was it to him to be +followed by two royal highnesses--the Dukes of York and Sussex--by two +marquises, seven earls, three viscounts, five lords, a Canning, a lord +mayor, and a whole regiment of honourables and right honourables, who +now wore the livery of grief, when they had let him die in debt, in +want, and in misery? Far more, if the dead could feel, must he have been +grateful for the honester tears of those two untitled men, who had +really befriended him to the last hour and never abandoned him, Mr. +Rogers and Dr. Bain. But peace; let him pass with nodding plumes and +well-dyed horses to the great Walhalla, and amid the dust of many a poet +let the poet's dust find rest and honour, secure at last from the hand +of the bailiff. There was but one nook unoccupied in Poet's Corner, and +there they laid him. A simple marble was afforded by another friend +without a title--Peter Moore. + +To a life like Sheridan's it is almost impossible to do justice in so +narrow a space as I have here. He is one of those men who, not to be +made out a whit better or worse than they are, demand a careful +investigation of all their actions, or reported actions--a careful +sifting of all the evidence for or against them, and a careful weeding +of all the anecdotes told of them. This requires a separate biography. +To give a general idea of the man, we must be content to give that which +he inspired in a general acquaintance. Many of his 'mots,' and more of +the stories about him, may have been invented for him, but they would +scarcely have been fixed on Sheridan, if they had not fitted more or +less his character: I have therefore given them. I might have given a +hundred more, but I have let alone those anecdotes which did not seem to +illustrate the character of the man. Many another good story is told of +him, and we must content ourselves with one or two. Take one that is +characteristic of his love of fun. + +Sheridan is accosted by an elderly gentleman, who has forgotten the name +of a street to which he wants to go, and who informs him precisely that +it is an out-of-the-way name. + +'Perhaps, sir, you mean John Street?' says Sherry, all innocence. + +'No, an unusual name.' + +'It can't be Charles Street?' + +Impatience on the part of the old gentleman. + +'King Street?' suggests the cruel wit. + +'I tell you, sir, it is a street with a very odd name!' + +'Bless me, is it Queen Street?' + +Irritation on the part of the old gentleman. + +'It must be Oxford Street?' cries Sheridan as if inspired. + +'Sir, I repeat,' very testily, 'that it is a very odd name. Every one +knows Oxford Street!' + +Sheridan appears to be thinking. + +'An odd name! Oh! ah! just so; Piccadilly, of course?' + +Old gentleman bounces away in disgust. + +'Well, sir,' Sheridan calls after him, 'I envy you your admirable +memory!' + +His wit was said to have been prepared, like his speeches, and he is +even reported to have carried his book of _mots_ in his pocket, as a +young lady of the middle class _might_, but seldom does, carry her book +of etiquette into a party. But some of his wit was no doubt extempore. + +When arrested for non-attendance to a call in the House, soon after the +change of ministry, he exclaimed, 'How hard to be no sooner out of +office than into custody!' + +He was not an inveterate talker, like Macaulay, Sydney Smith, or +Jeffrey: he seems rather to have aimed at a striking effect in all that +he said. When found tripping he had a clever knack of getting out of the +difficulty. In the Hastings speech he complimented Gibbon as a +'luminous' writer; questioned on this, he replied archly, 'I said +_vo_-luminous.' + +I cannot afford to be voluminous on Sheridan, and so I quit him. + + + +BEAU BRUMMELL + + +Two popular Sciences.--'Buck Brummell' at Eton.--Investing his Capital.-- +Young Cornet Brummell.--The Beau's Studio.--The Toilet.--'Creasing +Down.'--Devotion to Dress.--A Great Gentleman.--Anecdotes of Brummell.-- +'Don't forget, Brum: Goose at Four!'--Offers of Intimacy resented.--Never +in love.--Brummell out Hunting.--Anecdote of Sheridan and Brummell.--The +Beau's Poetical Efforts.--The Value of a Crooked Sixpence.--The Breach +with the Prince of Wales.--'Who's your Fat Friend?'--The Climax is +reached.--The Black-mail of Calais.--George the Greater and George the +Less.--An Extraordinary Step.--Down the Hill of Life.--A Miserable Old +Age.--In the Hospice Du Bon Sauveur.--O Young Men of this Age, be warned! + + +It is astonishing to what a number of insignificant things high art has +been applied, and with what success. It is the vice of high civilization +to look for it and reverence it, where a ruder age would only laugh at +its employment. Crime and cookery, especially, have been raised into +sciences of late, and the professors of both received the amount of +honour due to their acquirements. Who would be so naïve as to sneer at +the author of 'The Art of Dining?' or who so ungentlemanly as not to +pity the sorrows of a pious baronet, whose devotion to the noble art of +appropriation was shamefully rewarded with accommodation gratis on board +one of Her Majesty's transport-ships? The disciples of Ude have left us +the literary results of their studies, and one at least, the graceful +Alexis Soyer, is numbered among our public benefactors. We have little +doubt that as the art, vulgarly called 'embezzlement,' becomes more and +more fashionable, as it does every day, we shall have a work on the 'Art +of Appropriation.' It is a pity that Brummell looked down upon +literature: poor literature! it had a hard struggle to recover the +slight, for we are convinced there is not a work more wanted than the +'Art of Dressing,' and 'George the Less' was almost the last professor +of that elaborate science. + +If the maxim, that 'whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well,' +hold good, Beau Brummell must be regarded in the light of a great man. +That dressing is worth doing at all, everybody but a Fiji Islander seems +to admit, for everybody does it. If, then, a man succeeds in dressing +better than anybody else, it follows that he is entitled to the most +universal admiration. + +But there was another object to which this great man condescended to +apply the principles of high art--I mean affectation. How admirably he +succeeded in this his life will show. But can we doubt that he is +entitled to our greatest esteem and heartiest gratitude for the studies +he pursued with unremitting patience in these two useful branches, when +we find that a prince of the blood delighted to honour, and the richest, +noblest, and most distinguished men of half a century ago were proud to +know him? We are writing, then, of no common man, no mere beau, but of +the greatest professor of two of the most popular sciences--Dress and +Affectation. Let us speak with reverence of this wonderful genius. + +George Brummell was 'a self-made man.' That is, all that nature, the +tailors, stags, and padding had not made of him, he made for +himself--his name, his fame, his fortune, and his friends--and all these +were great. The author of 'Self-help' has most unaccountably omitted all +mention of him, and most erroneously, for if there ever was a man who +helped himself, and no one else, it was, 'very sincerely yours, George +Brummell.' + +The founder of the noble house of Brummell, the grandfather of our hero, +was either a treasury porter, or a confectioner, or something else.[10] +At any rate he let lodgings in Bury Street, and whether from the fact +that his wife did not purloin her lodgers' tea and sugar, or from some +other cause, he managed to ingratiate himself with one of them--who +afterwards became Lord Liverpool--so thoroughly, that through his +influence he obtained for his son the post of Private Secretary to Lord +North. Nothing could have been more fortunate, except, perhaps, the +son's next move, which was to take in marriage the daughter of +Richardson, the owner of a well-known lottery-office. Between the +lottery of office and the lottery of love, Brummell _père_ managed to +make a very good fortune. At his death he left as much as £65,000 to be +divided among his three children--Raikes says as much as £30,000 +a-piece--so that the Beau, if not a fool, ought never to have been a +pauper. + +[10: Mr. Jesse says that the Beau's grandfather was a servant of Mr. +Charles Monson, brother to the first Lord Monson.] + +George Bryan Brummell, the second son of this worthy man, honoured by +his birth the 7th of June, 1778. No anecdotes of his childhood are +preserved, except that he once cried because he could not eat any more +damson tart. In later years he would probably have thought damson tart +'very vulgar.' He first turns up at Eton at the age of twelve, and even +there commences his distinguished career, and is known as 'Buck +Brummell.' The boy showed himself decidedly father to the man here. +Master George was not vulgar enough, nor so imprudent, it may be added, +as to fight, row, or play cricket, but he distinguished himself by the +introduction of a gold buckle in the white stock, by never being +flogged, and by his ability in toasting cheese. We do not hear much of +his classical attainments. + +The very gentlemanly youth was in due time passed on to Oriel College, +Oxford. Here he distinguished himself by a studied indifference to +college discipline and an equal dislike to studies. He condescended to +try for the Newdigate Prize poem, but his genius leaned far more to the +turn of a coat-collar than that of a verse, and, unhappily for the +British poets, their ranks were not to be dignified by the addition of +this illustrious man. The Newdigate was given to another; and so, to +punish Oxford, the competitor left it and poetry together, after having +adorned the old quadrangle of Oriel for less than a year. + +He was now a boy of seventeen, and a very fine boy, too. To judge from a +portrait taken in later life, he was not strictly handsome; but he is +described as tall, well built, and of a slight and graceful figure. +Added to this, he had got from Eton and Oxford, if not much learning, +many a well-born friend, and he was toady enough to cultivate those of +better, and to dismiss those of less distinction. He was, through life, +a celebrated 'cutter,' and Brummell's cut was as much admired--by all +but the _cuttee_--as Brummel's coat. Then he had some £25,000 as capital +and how could he best invest it? He consulted no stockbroker on this +weighty point; he did not even buy a shilling book of advice such as we +have seen advertised for those who do not know what to do with their +money. The question was answered in a moment by the young worldling of +sixteen: he would enter a crack regiment and invest his guineas in the +thousand per cents. of fashionable life. + +His namesake, the Regent, was now thirty-two, and had spent those years +of his life in acquiring the honorary title of the 'first gentleman of +Europe' by every act of folly, debauch, dissipation, and degradation +which a prince can conveniently perpetrate. He was the hero of London +society, which adored and backbit him alternately, and he was precisely +the man whom the boy Brummell would worship. The Regent was colonel of a +famous regiment of fops--the 10th Hussars. It was the most expensive, +the most impertinent, the best-dressed, the worst-moralled regiment in +the British army. Its officers, many of them titled, all more or less +distinguished in the trying campaigns of London seasons, were the +intimates of the Prince-Colonel. Brummell aspired to a cornetcy in this +brilliant regiment, and obtained it; nor that alone; he secured, by his +manners, o his dress, or his impudence, the favour and companionship-- +friendship we cannot say--of the prince who commanded it. + +By this step his reputation was made, and it was only necessary to keep +it up. He had an immense fund of good nature, and, as long as his money +lasted, of good spirits, too. Good sayings--that is, witty if not wise-- +are recorded of him, and his friends pronounce him a charming companion. +Introduced, therefore, into the highest circles in England, he could +scarcely fail to succeed. Young Cornet Brummell became a great favourite +with the fair. + +His rise in the regiment was of course rapid: in three years he was at +the head of a troop. The onerous duties of a military life, which +vacillated between Brighton and London, and consisted chiefly in making +oneself agreeable in the mess-room, were too much for our hero. He +neglected parade, or arrived too late: it was such a bore to have to +dress in a hurry. It is said that he knew the troop he commanded only by +the peculiar nose of one of the men, and that when a transfer of men had +once been made, rode up to the wrong troop, and supported his mistake by +pointing to the nose in question. No fault, however, was found with the +Regent's favourite, and Brummell might have risen to any rank if he +could have supported the terrific labour of dressing for parade. Then, +too, there came wars and rumours of wars, and our gallant captain +shuddered at the vulgarity of shedding blood: the supply of +smelling-salts would never have been liberal enough to keep him from +fainting on the battle-field. It is said, too, that the regiment was +ordered to Manchester. Could anything be more gross or more ill-bred? +The idea of figuring before the wives and daughters of cotton-spinners +was too fearful; and from one cause or another our brave young captain +determined to retire, which he did in 1798. + +It was now, therefore, that he commenced the profession of a beau, and +as he is the Prince of Beaux, as his patron was the Beau of Princes, and +as his fame has spread to France and Germany, if only as the inventor of +the trouser; and as there is no man who on getting up in the morning +does not put on his clothes with more or less reflection as to whether +they are the right ones to put on, and as beaux have existed since the +days of the emperor of beaux, Alexander the Macedonian, and will +probably exist to all time, let us rejoice in the high honour of being +permitted to describe how this illustrious genius clothed his poor +flesh, and made the most of what God had given him--a body and legs. + +The private life of Brummell would in itself serve as a book of manners +and habits. The two were his profoundest study; but, alas! his impudence +marred the former, and the latter can scarcely be imitated in the +present day. Still as a great example he is yet invaluable, and must be +described in all detail. + +His morning toilette was a most elaborate affair. Never was Brummell +guilty of _déshabille_. Like a true man of business, he devoted the best +and earliest hours--and many of them too--to his profession, namely-- +dressing. His dressing-room was a studio, in which he daily prepared +that elaborate portrait of George Brummell which was to be exhibited for +a few hours in the club-rooms and drawing-rooms of town, only to be +taken to pieces again, and again made up for the evening. Charles I. +delighted to resort of a morning to the studio of Vandyck, and to watch +his favourite artist's progress. The Regent George was no less devoted +to art, for we are assured by Mr. Raikes that he often visited his +favourite beau in the morning to watch his toilet, and would sometimes +stay so late that he would send his horses away, insisting on Brummell +giving him a quiet dinner, 'which generally ended in a deep potation.' + +There are, no doubt, many fabulous myths floating about concerning this +illustrious man; and his biographer, Captain Jesse, seems anxious to +defend him from the absurd stories of French writers, who asserted that +he employed two glovers to covers his hands, to one of whom were +intrusted the thumbs, to the other the fingers and hand, and three +barbers to dress his hair, while his boots were polished with champagne, +his cravats designed by a celebrated portrait painter, and so forth. +These may be pleasant inventions, but Captain Jesse's own account of his +toilet, even when the Beau was broken, and living in elegant poverty +abroad, is quite absurd enough to render excusable the ingenious +exaggerations of the foreign writer. + +The _batterie de toilette_, we are told, was of silver, and included a +spitting-dish, for its owner said 'he could not spit into clay.' +Napoleon shaved himself, but Brummell was not quite great enough to do +that, just as my Lord So-and-so walks to church on Sunday, while his +neighbour, the Birmingham millionaire, can only arrive there in a +chariot and pair. + +His ablutions took no less than two whole hours! What knowledge might +have been gained, what good done in the time he devoted to rubbing his +lovely person with a hair-glove! Cleanliness was, in fact, Brummell's +religion; perhaps because it is generally set down as 'next to +godliness,' a proximity with which the Beau was quite satisfied, for he +never attempted to pass on to that next stage. Poor fool, he might rub +every particle of moisture off the skin of his body--he might be clean +as a kitten--but he could not and did not purify his mind with all this +friction; and the man who would have fainted to see a black speck upon +his shirt, was not at all shocked at the indecent conversation in which +he and his companions occasionally indulged. + +The body cleansed, the face had next to be brought up as near perfection +as nature would allow. With a small looking-glass in one hand, and +tweezers in the other, he carefully removed the tiniest hairs that he +could discover on his cheeks or chin, enduring the pain like a martyr. + +Then came the shirt, which was in his palmy days changed three times a +day, and then in due course the great business of the cravat. Captain +Jesse's minute account of the process of tying this can surely be relied +on, and presents one of the most ludicrous pictures of folly and vanity +that can be imagined. Had Brummell never lived, and a novelist or +play-writer described the toilet which Captain Jesse affirms to have +been his daily achievement, he would have had the critics about him with +the now common phrase--'This book is a tissue, not only of +improbabilities, but of actual impossibilities.' The collar, then, was +so large, that in its natural condition it rose high above the wearer's +head, and some ingenuity was required to reduce it by delicate folds to +exactly that height which the Beau judged to be correct. Then came the +all-majestic white neck-tie, a foot in breadth. It is not to be supposed +that Brummell had the neck of a swan or a camel--far from it. The worthy +fool had now to undergo, with admirable patience, the mysterious process +known to our papas as 'creasing down.' The head was thrown back, as if +ready for a dentist; the stiff white tie applied to the throat, and +gradually wrinkled into half its actual breadth by the slow downward +movement of the chin. When all was done, we can imagine that comfort was +sacrificed to elegance, as it was then considered, and that the sudden +appearance of Venus herself could not have induced the deluded +individual to turn his head in a hurry. + +It is scarcely profitable to follow this lesser deity into all the +details of his self-adornment. It must suffice to say that he affected +an extreme neatness and simplicity of dress, every item of which was +studied and discussed for many an hour. In the mornings he was still +guilty of hessians and pantaloons, or 'tops' and buckskins, with a blue +coat and buff waistcoat. The costume is not so ancient, but that one may +tumble now and then on a country squire who glories in it and denounces +us juveniles as 'bears' for want of a similar precision. Poor Brummell, +he cordially hated the country squires, and would have wanted rouge for +a week if he could have dreamed that his pet attire would, some fifty +years later, be represented only by one of that class which he was so +anxious to exclude from Watier's. + +But it was in the evening that he displayed his happy invention of the +trouser, or rather its introduction from Germany. This article he wore +very tight to the leg, and buttoned over the ankle, exactly as we see it +in old prints of 'the fashion.' Then came the wig, and on that the hat. +It is a vain and thankless task to defend Brummell from the charge of +being a dandy. If one proof of his devotion to dress were wanted, it +would be the fact that this hat, once stuck jauntily on one side of the +wig, was never removed in the street even to salute a lady--so that, +inasmuch as he sacrificed his manners to his appearance, he may be +fairly set down as a fop. + +The perfect artist could not be expected to be charitable to the less +successful. Dukes and princes consulted him on the make of their coats, +and discussed tailors with him with as much solemnity as divines might +dispute on a mystery of religion. Brummell did not spare them. +'Bedford,' said he, to the duke of that name, fingering a new garment +which his grace had submitted to his inspection, 'do you call this +_thing_ a coat?' Again, meeting a noble acquaintance who wore shoes in +the morning, he stopped and asked him what he had got upon his feet. +'Oh! shoes are they,' quoth he, with a well bred sneer, 'I thought they +were slippers.' He was even ashamed of his own brother, and when the +latter came to town, begged him to keep to the back streets till his new +clothes were sent home. Well might his friend the Regent say, that he +was 'a mere tailor's dummy to hang clothes upon.' + +But in reality Brummell was more. He had some sharpness and some taste. +But the former was all brought out in sneers, and the latter in +snuff-boxes. His whole mind could have been put into one of these. He +had a splendid collection of them, and was famous for the grace with +which he opened the lid of his box with the thumb of the hand that +carried it, while he delicately took his pinch with two fingers of the +other. This and his bow were his chief acquirements, and his reputation +for manners was based on the distinction of his manner. He could not +drive in a public conveyance, but he could be rude to a well-meaning +lady; he never ate vegetables--_one_ pea he confessed to--but he did not +mind borrowing from his friends money which he knew he could never +return. He was a great gentleman, a gentleman of his patron's school--in +short, a well-dressed snob. But one thing is due to Brummell: he made +the assumption of being 'a gentleman' so thoroughly ridiculous that few +men of keen sense care now for the title: at least, not as a +class-distinction. Nor is it to be wondered at; when your tailor's +assistant is a 'gentleman,' and would be mightily disgusted at being +called anything else, you, with your indomitable pride of caste, can +scarcely care for the patent. + +Brummell's claim to the title was based on his walk, his coat, his +cravat, and the grace with which he indulged, as Captain Jesse +delightfully calls it, 'the nasal pastime' of taking snuff, all the rest +was impudence; and many are the anecdotes--most of them familiar as +household words--which are told of his impertinence. The story of Mrs. +Johnson-Thompson is one of those oft-told tales, which, from having +become Joe Millers, have gradually passed out of date and been almost +forgotten. Two rival party-givers rejoiced in the aristocratic names of +Johnson and Thompson. The former lived near Finsbury, the latter near +Grosvenor Square, and Mrs. Thompson was somehow sufficiently fashionable +to expect the Regent himself at her assemblies. Brummell among other +impertinences, was fond of going where he was not invited or wanted. The +two rivals gave a ball on the same evening, and a card was sent to the +Beau by her of Finsbury. He chose to go to the Grosvenor Square house, +in hopes of meeting the Regent, then his foe. Mrs. Thompson was justly +disgusted, and with a vulgarity quite deserved by the intruder, told him +he was not invited. The Beau made a thousand apologies, hummed, hawed, +and drew a card from his pocket. It was the rival's invitation, and was +indignantly denounced. 'Dear me, how very unfortunate,' said the Beau, +'but you know Johnson and Thompson--I mean Thompson and Johnson are so +very much alike. Mrs. Johnson-Thompson, I wish you a very good evening.' + +Perhaps there is no vulgarity greater than that of rallying people on +their surnames, but our exquisite gentleman had not wit enough to invent +one superior to such a puerile amusement. Thus, on one occasion, he woke +up at three in the morning a certain Mr. Snodgrass, and when the worthy +put his head out of the window in alarm, said quietly, 'Pray, sir, is +your name Snodgrass?'--'Yes, sir, it is Snodgrass.' 'Snodgrass-- +Snodgrass--it is a very singular name. Good-bye, Mr. _Snodgrass_.' There +was more wit in his remark to Poodle Byng, a well-known puppy, whom he +met one day driving in the Park with a French dog in his curricle. 'Ah,' +cried the Beau, 'how d'ye do, Byng? a family vehicle, I see.' + +It seems incredulous to modern gentlemen that such a man should have +been tolerated even at a club. Take, for instance, his vulgar treatment +of Lord Mayor Combe, whose name we still see with others over many a +public-house in London, and who was then a most prosperous brewer and +thriving gambler. At Brookes' one evening the Beau and the Brewer were +playing at the same table, 'Come, _Mash-tub_', cried the 'gentleman,' +'what do you set?' Mash-tub unresentingly set a pony, and the Beau won +twelve of him in succession. Pocketing his cash, he made him a bow, and +exclaimed, 'Thank you, Alderman, in future I shall drink no porter but +yours.' But Combe was worthy of his namesake, Shakspere's friend, and +answered very aptly, 'I wish, sir, that every _other_ blackguard in +London would tell me the same.' + +Then again, after ruining a young fool of fortune at the tables, and +being reproached by the youth's father for leading his son astray, he +replied with charming affectation, 'Why, sir, I did all I could for him. +I once gave him my arm all the way from White's to Brookes'!' + +When Brummell really wanted a dinner, while at Calais, he could not give +up his impertinence for the sake of it. Lord Westmoreland called on him, +and, perhaps out of compassion, asked him to dine at _three o'clock_ +with him. 'Your Lordship is very kind,' said the Beau, 'but really I +could not _feed_ at such an hour.' Sooner or later he was glad to _feed_ +with any one who was toady enough to ask him. He was once placed in a +delightfully awkward position from having accepted the invitation of a +charitable but vulgar-looking Britisher at Calais. He was walking with +Lord Sefton, when the individual passed and nodded familiarly. 'Who's +your friend, Brummell?'--'Not mine, he must be bowing to you.' But +presently the man passed again, and this time was cruel enough to +exclaim, 'Don't forget, Brum, don't forget--goose at four!' The poor +Beau must have wished the earth to open under him. He was equally +imprudent in the way in which he treated an old acquaintance who arrived +at the town to which he had retreated, and of whom he was fool enough to +be ashamed. He generally took away their characters summarily, but on +one occasion was frightened almost out of his wits by being called to +account for this conduct. An officer who had lost his nose in an +engagement in the Peninsula, called on him, and in very strong terms +requested to know why the Beau had reported that he was a retired +hatter. His manner alarmed the rascal, who apologized, and protested +that there must be a mistake; he had never said so. The officer retired, +and as he was going, Brummell added: 'Yes, it must be a mistake, for now +I think of it, I never dealt with a hatter without a nose.' + +So much for the good breeding of this friend of George IV. and the Duke +of York. + +His affectation was quite as great as his impudence: and he won the +reputation of fastidiousness--nothing gives more prestige--by dint of +being openly rude. No hospitality or kindness melted him, when he +thought he could gain a march. At one dinner, not liking the champagne, +he called to the servant to give him 'some more of that cider:' at +another, to which he was invited in days when a dinner was a charity to +him, after helping himself to a wing of capon, and trying a morsel of +it, he took it up in his napkin, called to his dog--he was generally +accompanied by a puppy, even to parties, as if one at a time were not +enough--and presenting it to him, said aloud, 'Here, _Atons_, try if you +can get your teeth through that, for I'm d--d if I can!' + +To the last he resented offers of intimacy from those whom he considered +his inferiors, and as there are ladies enough everywhere, he had ample +opportunity for administering rebuke to those who pressed into his +society. On one occasion he was sauntering with a friend at Caen under +the window of a lady who longed for nothing more than to have the great +_arbiter elegantiarum_ at her house. When seeing him beneath, she put +her head out, and called out to him, 'Good evening, Mr. Brummell, won't +you come up and take tea?' The Beau looked up with extreme severity +expressed on his face, and replied, 'Madam, you take medicine--you take +a walk--you take a liberty--but you _drink_ tea,' and walked on, having, +it may be hoped, cured the lady of her admiration. + +In the life of such a man there could not of course be much striking +incident. He lived for 'society,' and the whole of his story consists in +his rise and fall in that narrow world. Though admired and sought after +by the women--so much so that at his death his chief assets were locks +of hair, the only things he could not have turned into money--he never +married. Wedlock might have sobered him, and made him a more sensible, +if not more respectable member of society, but his advances towards +matrimony never brought him to the crisis. He accounted for one +rejection in his usual way. 'What could I do, my dear _fellar_,' he +lisped, 'when I actually saw Lady Mary eat cabbage?' At another time he +is said to have induced some deluded young creature to elope with him +from a ball-room, but managed the affair so ill, that the lovers (?) +were caught in the next street, and the affair came to an end. He wrote +rather ecstatic love-letters to Lady Marys and Miss ----s, gave married +ladies advice on the treatment of their spouses and was tender to +various widows, but though he went on in this way through life, he was +never, it would seem, in love, from the mere fact that he was incapable +of passion. + +Perhaps he was too much of a woman to care much for women. He was +certainly egregiously effeminate. About the only creatures he could love +were poodles. When one of his dogs, from over-feeding, was taken ill, he +sent for two dog-doctors, and consulted very gravely with them on the +remedies to be applied. The canine physicians came to the conclusion +that she must be bled. 'Bled!' said Brummell, in horror; 'I shall leave +the room: inform me when the operation is over.' When the dog died, he +shed tears--probably the only ones he had shed since childhood: and +though at that time receiving money from many an old friend in England, +complained, with touching melancholy, 'that he had lost the only friend +he had!' His grief lasted three whole days, during which he shut himself +up, and would see no one; but we are not told that he ever thus mourned +over any human being. + +His effeminacy was also shown in his dislike to field-sports. His +shooting exploits were confined to the murder of a pair of pet pigeons +perched on a roof, while he confessed, as regards hunting, that it was a +bore to get up so early in the morning only to have one's boots and +leathers splashed by galloping farmers. However, hunting was a fashion, +and Brummell must needs appear to hunt. He therefore kept a stud of +hunters in his better days, near Belvoir, the Duke of Rutland's, where +he was a frequent visitor, and if there was a near meet, would ride out +in pink and tops to see the hounds break cover, follow through a few +gates, and return to the more congenial atmosphere of the drawing-room. +He, however, condescended to bring his taste to bear on the +hunting-dress; and, it is said, introduced white tops instead of the +ancient mahoganies. That he _could_ ride there seems reason to believe, +but it is equally probable that he was afraid to do so. His valour was +certainly composed almost entirely of its 'better part,' and indeed had +so much prudence in it that it may be doubted if there was any of the +original stock left. Once when he had been taking away somebody's +character, the 'friend' of the maligned gentleman entered his apartment, +and very menacingly demanded satisfaction for his principal, unless an +apology were tendered 'in five minutes.' 'Five minutes!' answered the +exquisite, as pale as death, 'five seconds, or sooner if you like.' + +Brummell was no fool, in spite of his follies. He had talents of a +mediocre kind, if he had chosen to make a better use of them. Yet the +general opinion was not in favour of his wisdom. He quite deserved +Sheridan's cool satire for his affectation, if not for his want of mind. + +The Wit and the Beau met one day at Charing Cross, and it can well be +imagined that the latter was rather disgusted at being seen so far east +of St. James's Street, and drawled out to Sheridan,--'Sherry, my dear +boy, don't mention that you saw me in this filthy part of the town, +though, perhaps, I am rather severe, for his Grace of Northumberland +resides somewhere about this spot, if I don't mistake. The fact is, my +dear boy, I have been in the d----d City, to the Bank: I wish they would +remove it to the West End, for re-all-y it is quite a bore to go to such +a place; more particularly as one cannot be seen in one's own equipage +beyond Somerset House,' etc. etc. etc. in the Brummellian style. + +'Nay, my good fellow,' was the answer to this peroration, 'travelling +from the East? impossible!' + +'Why, my dear boy, why?' + +'Because the wise men came from the East,' + +'So, then, sa-ar--you think me a fool?' + +'By no means; I know you to be one,' quoth Sherry, and turned away. It +is due to both the parties to this anecdote to state that it is quite +apocryphal, and rests on the slenderest authority. However, whether fool +or not, Brummell has one certain, though small, claim upon certain small +readers. Were you born in a modern generation, when scraps of poetry +were forbidden in your nursery, and no other pabulum was offered to your +infant stomach, but the rather dull biographies of rather dull, though +very upright men?--if so, I pity you. Old airs of a jaunty jig-like kind +are still haunting the echoes of my brain. Among them is-- + + 'The butterfly was a gentleman, + Which nobody can refute: + He left his lady-love at home, + And roamed in a velvet suit.' + +I remember often to have ruminated over this character of an innocent, +and, I believe, calumniated, insect. He was a gentleman, and the +consequences thereof were twofold: he abandoned the young woman who had +trusted her affections to him, and attired his person in a complete +costume of the best Lyons silk-velvet, _not_ the proctor's velvet, which +Theodore felt with thumb and finger, impudently asking 'how much a +yard?' I secretly resolved to do the same thing as Mr. Butterfly when I +came of age. But the said Mr. Butterfly had a varied and somewhat awful +history, all of which was narrated in various ditties chanted by my +nurse. I could not quite join in her vivid assertion that she _would_ + + '----be a butterfly, + Born in a bower, + Christened in a tea-pot, + And dead in an hour.' + +Aetat four, life is dear, and the idea of that early demise was far from +welcome to me. I privily agreed that I would _not_ be a butterfly. But +there was no end to the history of this very inconstant insect in our +nursery lore. We didn't care a drop of honey for Dr. Watts's 'Busy Bee;' +we infinitely preferred the account--not in the 'Morning Post'--of the +'Butterfly's Ball' and the 'Grasshopper's Feast; and few, perhaps, have +ever given children more pleasures of imagination than William Roscoe, +its author. There were some amongst us, however, who were already being +weaned to a knowledge of life's mysterious changes, and we sought the +third volume of the romance of the flitting gaudy thing in a little poem +called 'The Butterfly's Funeral.' + +Little dreamed we, when in our prettly little song-books we saw the +initial 'B.' at the bottom of these verses, that a real human butterfly +had written them, and that they conveyed a solemn prognostication of a +fate that was _not_ his. Little we dreamed, as we lisped out the verses, +that the 'gentleman who roamed in a' not velvet but 'plum-coloured +suit,' according to Lady Hester Stanhope, was the illustrious George +Brummell, The Beau wrote these trashy little rhymes--pretty in their +way--and, since I was once a child, and learnt them off by heart, I will +not cast a stone at them. Brummell indulged in such trifling poetizing, +but never went further. It is a pity he did not write his memoirs; they +would have added a valuable page to the history of 'Vanity Fair.' + +Brummell's London glory lasted from 1798 to 1816. His chief club was +Watier's. It was a superb assemblage of gamesters and fops--knaves and +fools; and it is difficult to say which, element predominated. For a +time Brummell was monarch there; but his day of reckoning came at last. +Byron and Moore, Sir Henry Mildmay and Mr. Pierrepoint, were among the +members. Play ran high there, and Brummell once won nearly as much as +his squandered patrimony, £26.000. Of course he not only lost it again, +but much more--indeed his whole capital. It was after some heavy loss +that he was walking home through Berkeley Street with Mr. Raikes, when +he saw something glittering in the gutter, picked it up, and found it to +be a crooked sixpence. Like all small-minded men, he had a great fund of +superstition, and he wore the talisman of good luck for some time. For +two years, we are told, after this finding of treasure-trove, success +attended him in play--macao, the very pith of hazard, was the chief game +at Watier's--and he attributed it all to the sixpence. At last he lost +it, and luck turned against him. So goes the story. It is probably much +more easily accountable. Few men played honestly in those days without +losing to the dishonest, and we have no reason to charge the Beau with +mal-practice. However this may be, his losses at play first brought +about his ruin. The Jews were, of course, resorted to; and if Brummell +did not, like Charles Fox, keep a Jerusalem Chamber, it was only because +the sum total of his fortune was pretty well known to the money-lenders. + + 'Then came the change, the check, the fall; + Pain rises up, old pleasures pall. + There is one remedy for all.' + +This remedy was the crossing of the Channel, a crossing kept by beggars, +who levy a heavy toll on those who pass over it. + +The decline of the Beau was rapid, but not without its _éclat_. A breach +with his royal patron led the way. It is presumed that every reader of +these volumes has heard the famous story of 'Wales, ring the bell!' but +not all may know its particulars. + +A deep impenetrable mystery hangs over this story. Perhaps some German +of the twenty-first century--some future Giffard, or who not--will put +his wits to work to solve the riddle. In very sooth _il ne vaut pas la +chandelle_. A quarrel did take place between George the Prince and +George the Less, but of its causes no living mortal is cognizant: we can +only give the received versions. It appears, then, that dining with +H.R.H. the Prince of Wales, Master Brummell asked him to ring the bell. +Considering the intimacy between them, and that the Regent often +sacrificed his dignity to his amusement, there was nothing extraordinary +in this. But it is added that the Prince did ring the bell in +question--unhappy bell to jar so between two such illustrious +friends!--and when the servant came, ordered 'Mr. Brummell's carriage!' +Another version palms off the impertinence on a drunken midshipman, who, +being related to the Comptroller of the Household, had been invited to +dinner by the Regent. Another yet states that Brummell, being asked to +ring the said bell, replied, 'Your Royal Highness is close to it.' No +one knows the truth of the legend, any more than whether Homer was a man +or a myth. It surely does not matter. The friends quarrelled, and +perhaps it was time they should do so, for they had never improved one +another's morals; but it is only fair to the Beau to add that he always +denied the whole affair, and that he himself gave as the cause of the +quarrel his own sarcasms on the Prince's increasing corpulency, and his +resemblance to Mrs. Fitzherbert's porter, 'Big Ben.' Certainly some +praise is due to the Beau for the _sans, froid_ with which he appeared +to treat the matter, though in reality dreadfully cut up about it. He +lounged about, made amusing remarks on his late friend and patron, swore +he would 'cut' him, and in short behaved with his usual _aplomb_. The +'Wales, ring the bell,' was sufficient proof of his impudence, but +'Who's your fat friend?' was really good. + +It is well known, in all probability, that George IV. contemplated with +as much disgust and horror the increasing rotundity of his 'presence' as +ever a maiden lady of a certain age did her first grey hair. Soon after +the bell affair, the royal beau met his former friend in St. James's +Street, and resolved to cut him. This was attacking Brummell with his +own pet weapon, but not with success. Each antagonist was leaning on the +arm of a friend. 'Jack Lee,' who was thus supporting the Beau, was +intimate with the Prince, who, to make the cut the more marked, stopped +and talked to him without taking the slightest notice of Brummell. After +a time both parties moved on, and then came the moment of triumph and +revenge. It was sublime! Turning round half way, so that his words could +not fail to be heard by the retreating Regent, the Beau asked of his +companion in his usual drawl, 'Well, Jack, who's your fat friend?' The +coolness, presumption, and impertinence of the question perhaps made it +the best thing the Beau ever said, and from that time the Prince took +care not to risk another encounter with him.[11] + +[11: Another version, given by Captain Jesse, represents this to have +taken place at a ball given at the Argyle Rooms in July, 1813, by Lord +Alvanley, Sir Henry Miklmav, Mr. Pierrepoint, and Mr. Brummell.] + +Brummell was scotched rather than killed by the Prince's indifference. +He at once resolved to patronise his brother, the Duke of York, and +found in him a truer friend. The duchess, who had a particular fondness +for dogs, of which she is said to have kept no fewer, at one time, than +a hundred, added the puppy Brummell to the list, and treated him with a +kindness in which little condescension was mixed. But neither impudence +nor the blood-royal can keep a man out of debt, especially when he +plays. The Beau got deeper and deeper into the difficulty, and at last +some mysterious quarrel about money with a gentleman who thenceforward +went by the name of Dick the Dandy-killer, obliged him to think of place +and poverty in another land. He looked in vain for aid, and among others +Scrope Davies was written to to lend him 'two hundred,' 'because his +money was all in the three per cents.' Scrope replied laconically-- + + 'MY DEAR GEORGE, + + 'It is very unfortunate, but _my_ money is all in the three per + cents. Yours, + + 'S. DAVIES,' + +It was the last attempt. The Beau went to the opera, as usual, and drove +away from it clear off to Dover, whence the packet took him to safety +and slovenliness in the ancient town of Calais. His few effects were +sold after his departure. Porcelaine, buhl, a drawing or two, +double-barrelled Mantons (probably never used), plenty of old wine, +linen, furniture, and a few well-bound books, were the Beau's assets. +His debts were with half the chief tradesmen of the West End and a large +number of his personal friends. + +The climax is reached: henceforth Master George Bryan Brummell goes +rapidly and gracefully down the hill of life. + +The position of a Calais beggar was by no means a bad one, if the +reduced individual had any claim whatever to distinction. A black-mail +was sedulously levied by the outcasts and exiles of that town on every +Englishman who passed through it; and in those days it was customary to +pass some short time in this entrance of France. The English 'residents' +were always on the look-out, generally crowding round the packet-boat, +and the new arrival was sure to be accosted by some old and attached +friend, who had not seen him for years. Just as Buttons, who is always +breaking the plates and tumblers, has the invariable mode of accounting +for his carelessness, 'they fell apart, sir, in my 'ands!' so these +expatriated Britons had always a tale of confidence misplaced--security +for a bond--bail for a delinquent, or in short any hard case, which +compelled them, much against their wills, to remain 'for a period' on +the shores of France. To such men, whom you had known in seven-guinea +waistcoats at White's and Watier's, and found in seven-shilling coats on +the Calais pier, it was impossible to refuse your five-pound note, and +in time the black-mail of Calais came to be reckoned among the +established expenses of a Continental tour. + +Brummell was a distinguished beggar of this description, and managed so +adroitly that the new arrivals thought themselves obliged by Mr. +Brummell's acceptance of their donations. The man who could not eat +cabbages, drive in a hackney-coach, or wear less than three shirts a +day, was now supported by voluntary contributions, and did not see +anything derogatory to a gentleman in their acceptance. If Brummell had +now turned his talents to account; if he had practised his painting, in +which he was not altogether despicable; or his poetry, in which he had +already had some trifling success: if he had even engaged himself as a +waiter at Quillacq's, or given lessons in the art of deportment, his +fine friends from town might have cut him, but posterity would have +withheld its blame. He was a beggar of the merriest kind. While he wrote +letters to friends in England, asking for remittances, and describing +his wretched condition on a bed of straw and eating bran bread, he had a +good barrel of Dorchester ale in his lodgings, his usual glass of +maraschino, and his bottle of claret after dinner; and though living on +charity, could order new snuff-boxes to add to his collection, and new +knick-knacks to adorn his room. There can be no pity for such a man, and +we have no pity for him, whatever the rest of the world may feel. + +Nothing can be more contemptible than the gradual downfall of the broken +beau. Yet, if it were doubted that his soul ever rose above the collar +of a coat or the brim of a hat, his letters to Mr. Raikes in the time of +his poverty would settle the question. 'I heard of you the other day in +a waistcoat that does you considerable credit, spick-and-span from +Paris, a broad stripe, salmon-colour, and _cramoisé_. Don't let them +laugh you into a relapse--into the Gothic--as that of your former +English simplicity.' He speaks of the army of occupation as 'rascals in +red coats waiting for embarkation.' 'English education,' he says in +another letter, 'may be all very well to instruct the hemming of +handkerchiefs, and the ungainly romps of a country-dance, but nothing +else; and it would be a poor consolation to your declining years to see +your daughters come into the room upon their elbows, and to find their +accomplishments limited to broad native phraseology in conversation, or +thumping the "Woodpecker" upon a discordant spinet.' And he proceeds to +recommend a 'good French formation of manners,' and so forth. + +Nor did he display any of that dignity and self-respect which are +generally supposed to mark the 'gentleman.' When his late friend and +foe, by this time a king, passed through Calais, the Beau, broken in +every sense, had not pride enough to keep out of his way. Many stories +are told of the manner in which he pressed himself into George IV.'s +notice, but the various legends mostly turn upon a certain snuff-box. +According to one quite as reliable as any other, the Prince and the Beau +had in their days of amity intended to exchange snuff-boxes, and George +the Greater had given George the Less an order on his jeweller for a +_tabatière_ with his portrait on the top. On their quarrel this order +was, with very bad taste, rescinded, although Brummell's snuff-box had +already passed into the Prince's hands and had not been returned. It is +said that the Beau employed a friend to remind the king of this +agreement, and ask for his box; to whom the latter said that the story +was all nonsense, and that he supposed 'the poor devil,' meaning his +late intimate friend, wanted £100 and should have it. However, it is +doubtful if the money ever reached the 'poor devil.' The story does not +tell over well, for whatever were the failings and faults of George IV., +he seems to have had a certain amount of good nature, if not absolutely +of good heart, and possessed, at least, sufficient sense of what became +a prince, to prevent his doing so shabby an act, though he may have +defrauded a hundred tradesmen. In these days there _were_ such things as +'debts of honour,' and they were punctiliously attended to. There are, +as we have said, various versions of this story, but all tend to show +that Brummell courted the notice of his late master and patron on his +way through the place of his exile; and it is not remarkable in a man +who borrowed so freely from all his acquaintances, and who was, in fact, +in such a state of dependence on their liberality. + +Brummell made one grand mistake in his career as a Beau: he outlived +himself. For some twenty-four years he survived his flight from England, +to which country he never returned. For a time he was an assiduous +writer of begging-letters and the plague of his friends. At length he +obtained the appointment of consul at the good old Norman town of Caen. +This was almost a sinecure, and the Beau took care to keep it so. But no +one can account for the extraordinary step he took soon after entering +on his consular duties. He wrote to Lord Palmerston, stating that there +were no duties attached to the post, and recommending its abolition. +This act of suicide is partly explained by a supposed desire to be +appointed to some more lively and more lucrative consulate; but in this +the Beau was mistaken. The consulate at Caen was vacated in accordance +with his suggestion, and Brummell was left penniless, in debt, and to +shift for himself. With the aid of an English tradesman, half grocer, +half banker, he managed to get through a period of his poverty, but +could not long subsist in this way, and the punishment of his vanity and +extravagance came at last in his old age. A term of existence in prison +did not cure him, and when he was liberated he again resumed his +primrose gloves, his Eau de Cologne, and his patent _vernis_ for his +boots, though at that time literally supported by his friends with an +allowance of £120 per annum. In the old days of Caen life this would +have been equal to £300 a year in England, and certainly quite enough +for any bachelor; but the Beau was really a fool. For whom, for what +should he dress and polish his boots at such a quiet place as Caen? Yet +he continued to do so, and to run into debt for the polish. When he +confessed to having, 'so help him Heaven,' not four francs in the world, +he was ordering this _vernis de Guiton_, at five francs a bottle, from +Paris, and calling the provider of it a 'scoundrel,' because he ventured +to ask for his money. What foppery, what folly was all this! How truly +worthy of the man who built his fame on the reputation of a coat! +Terrible indeed was the hardship that followed his extravagance; he was +actually compelled to exchange his white for a black cravat. Poor +martyr! after such a trial it is impossible to be hard upon him. So, +too, the man who sent repeated begging-letters to the English grocer, +Armstrong, threw out of window a new dressing-gown because it was not of +the pattern he wished to have. + +Retribution for all this folly came in time. His mind went even before +his health. Though only some sixty years of age, almost the bloom of +some men's life, he lost his memory and his powers of attention, His old +ill-manners became positively bad manners. When feasted and feted, he +could find nothing better to say than 'What a half-starved turkey.' At +last the Beau was reduced to the level of that slovenliness which he had +considered as the next step to perdition. Reduced to one pair of +trousers, he had to remain in bed till they were mended. He grew +indifferent to his personal appearance, the surest sign of decay. +Drivelling, wretched, in debt, an object of contempt to all honest men, +he dragged on a miserable existence. Still with his boots in holes, and +all the honour of beau-dom gone for ever, he clung to the last to his +Eau de Cologne, and some few other luxuries, and went down, a fool and a +fop, to the grave. To indulge his silly tastes he had to part with one +piece of property after another; and at length he was left with little +else than the locks of hair of which he had once boasted. + +I remember a story of a labourer and his dying wife. The poor woman was +breathing her last wishes. 'And, I say, William, you'll see the old sow +don't kill her young uns?'--'Ay, ay, wife, set thee good.' 'And, I say, +William, you'll see Lizzy goes to schule reg'lar?'--'Ay, ay, wife, set +thee good.' 'And, I say, William, you'll see Tommy's breeches is mended +against he goes to schule again?'--'Ay, ay, wife, set thee good.'--'And, +I say, William, you'll see I'm laid proper in the yard?' William grew +impatient. 'Now never thee mind them things, wife, I'll see to 'em all, +you just go on with your dying.' No doubt Brummell's friends heartily +wished that he would go on with his dying, for he had already lived too +long; but he would live on. He is described in his last days as a +miserable, slovenly, half-witted old creature, creeping about to the +houses of a few friends he retained or who were kind enough to notice +him still, jeered at by the _gamins_, and remarkable now, not for the +cleanliness, but the filthiness and raggedness of his attire. + +Poor old fool! one cannot but pity him, when wretched, friendless, and +miserable as he was, we find him, still graceful, in a poor _café_ near +the Place Royale, taking his cup of coffee, and when asked for the +amount of his bill, answering very vaguely, 'Oui, Madame, à la pleine +lune, à la pleine lune.' + +The drivellings of old age are no fit subject for ridicule, yet in the +case of a man who had sneered so freely at his fellow-creatures, they +may afford a useful lesson. One of his fancies was to give imaginary +parties, when his tallow dips were all set alight and his servant +announced with proper decorum, 'The Duchess of Devonshire,' 'Lord +Alvanley, 'Mr. Sheridan,' or whom not. The poor old idiot received the +imaginary visitors with the old bow, and talked to them in the old +strain, till his servant announced their imaginary carriages, and he was +put drivelling to bed. At last the idiocy became mania. He burnt his +books, his relics, his tokens. He ate enormously, and the man who had +looked upon beer as the _ne plus ultra_ of vulgarity, was glad to +imagine it champagne. Let us not follow the poor maniac through his +wanderings. Rather let us throw a veil over all his drivelling +wretchedness, and find him at his last gasp, when coat and collar, hat +and brim, were all forgotten, when the man who had worn three shirts a +day was content to change his linen once a month. What a lesson, what a +warning! If Brummell had come to this pass in England, it is hard to say +how and where he would have died. He was now utterly penniless, and had +no prospect of receiving any remittances. It was determined to remove +him to the Hospice du Bon Sauveur, a _Maison de Charité_, where he would +be well cared for at no expense. The mania of the poor creature took, as +ever, the turn of external preparation. When the landlord of his inn +entered to try and induce him to go, he found him with his wig on his +knee, his shaving apparatus by his side, and the quondam beau deeply +interested in lathering the peruke as a preliminary to shearing it. He +resisted every proposal to move, and was carried down stairs, kicking +and shrieking. Once lodged in the Hospice, he was treated by the soeurs +de charité with the greatest kindness and consideration. An attempt was +made to recall him to a sense of his future peril, that he might at +least die in a more religious mood than he had lived; but in vain. It is +not for us, erring and sinful as we are, to judge any fellow-creature; +but perhaps poor Brummell was the last man to whom religion had a +meaning. His heart was good; his sins were more those of vanity than +those of hate; it may be that they are regarded mercifully where the +fund of mercy is unbounded. God grant that they may be so; or who of us +would escape? None but fiends will triumph over the death of any man in +sin. Men are not fiends; they must and will always feel for their +fellow-men, let them die as they will. No doubt Brummell was a fool--a +fool of the first water, but that he was equally a knave was not so +certain. Let it never be certain to blind man, who cannot read the +heart, that any man is a knave. He died on the 30th of March, 1840, and +so the last of the Beaux passed away. People have claimed, indeed for +D'Orsay, the honour of Brummell's descending mantle, but D'Orsay was not +strictly a beau, for he had other and higher tastes than mere dress. It +has never been advanced that Brummell's heart was bad, in spite of his +many faults. Vanity did all. Vanitas vanitatem. O young men of this age, +be warned by a Beau, and flee his doubtful reputation! Peace then to the +coat-thinker. Peace to all--to the worst. Let us look within and not +judge. It is enough that we are not tried in the same balance. + + + +THEODORE EDWARD HOOK. + + +The Greatest of Modern Wits.---What Coleridge said of Hook.--Hook's +Family.--Redeeming Points.--Versatility.--Varieties of Hoaxing.--The +Black-wafered Horse.--The Berners Street Hoax.--Success of the Scheme.-- +The Strop of Hunger.--Kitchen Examinations.--The Wrong House.--Angling +for an Invitation.--The Hackney-coach Device.--The Plots of Hook and +Mathews.--Hook's Talents as an Improvisatore.--The Gift becomes his +Bane.--Hook's Novels.--College Fun.--Baiting a Proctor.--The Punning +Faculty.--Official Life Opens.--Troublesome Pleasantry.--Charge of +Embezzlement.--Misfortune.--Doubly Disgraced.--No Effort to remove the +Stain.--Attacks on the Queen.--An Incongruous Mixture.--Specimen of the +Ramsbottom Letters.--Hook's Scurrility.--Fortune and Popularity.--The End. + + +If it be difficult to say what wit is, it is well nigh as hard to +pronounce what is not wit. In a sad world, mirth hath its full honour, +let it come in rags or in purple raiment. The age that patronises a +'Punch' every Saturday? and a pantomime every Christmas, has no right to +complain, if it finds itself barren of wits, while a rival age has +brought forth her dozens. Mirth is, no doubt, very good. We would see +more, not less, of it in this unmirthful land. We would fain imagine the +shrunken-cheeked factory-girl singing to herself a happy burthen, as she +shifts the loom,--the burthen of her life, and fain believe that the +voice was innocent as the sky-lark's. But if it be not so--and we know +it is not so--shall we quarrel with any one who tries to give the poor +care-worn, money-singing public a little laughter for a few pence? No, +truly, but it does not follow that the man who raises a titter is, of +necessity, a wit. The next age, perchance, will write a book of 'Wits +and Beaux,' in which Mr. Douglas Jerrold, Mr. Mark Lemon, and so on, +will represent the _wit_ of this passing day; and that future age will +not ask so nicely what wit is, and not look for that last solved of +riddles, its definition. Hook has been, by common consent, placed at the +head of modern wits. When kings were kings, they bullied, beat, and and +brow-beat their jesters. Now and then they treated them to a few years +in the Tower for a little extra impudence. Now that the people are +sovereign, the jester fares better--nay, too well. His books or his +bon-mots are read with zest and grins; he is invited to his Grace's and +implored to my Lord's; he is waited for, watched, pampered like a small +Grand Lama, and, in one sentence, the greater the fool, the more fools +he makes. + +If Theodore Hook had lived in the stirring days of King Henry VIII., he +would have sent Messrs. Patch and Co. sharply to the right-about, and +been presented with the caps and bells after his first comic song. No +doubt he was a jester, a fool in many senses, though he did not, like +Solomon's fool, 'say in his _heart_' very much. He jested away even the +practicals of life, jested himself into disgrace, into prison, into +contempt, into the basest employment--that of a libeller tacked on to a +party. He was a mimic, too, to whom none could send a challenge; an +improvisatore, who beat Italians, Tyroleans, and Styrians hollow, sir, +hollow. And lastly--oh! shame of the shuffle-tongued--he was, too, a +punster. Yes, one who gloried in puns, a maker of pun upon pun, a man +whose whole wit ran into a pun as readily as water rushes into a hollow, +who could not keep out of a pun, let him loathe it or not, and who made +some of the best and some of the worst on record, but still--puns. + +If he was a wit withal, it was _malgré soi_, for fun, not for wit, was +his 'aspiration.' Yet the world calls him a wit, and he has a claim to +his niche. There were, it is true, many a man in his own set who had +more real wit. There were James Smith, Thomas Ingoldsby, Tom Hill, and +others. Out of his set, but of his time, there was Sydney Smith, ten +times more a wit: but Theodore could amuse, Theodore could astonish, +Theodore could be at home anywhere; he had all the impudence, all the +readiness, all the indifference of a jester, and a jester he was. + +Let any one look at his portrait, and he will doubt if this be the +king's jester, painted by Holbein, or Mr. Theodore Hook, painted by +Eddis. The short, thick nose, the long upper lip, the sensual, whimsical +mouth, the twinkling eyes, all belong to the regular maker of fun. Hook +was a certificated jester, with a lenient society to hear and applaud +him, instead of an irritable tyrant to keep him in order: and he filled +his post well. Whether he was more than a jester may well be doubted; +yet Coleridge, when he heard him, said: 'I have before in my time met +with men of admirable promptitude of intellectual power and play of wit, +which, as Stillingfleet says: + + "The rays of wit gild wheresoe'er they strike," + +but I never could have conceived such readiness of mind and resources of +genius to be poured out on the mere subject and impulse of the moment.' +The poet was wrong in one respect. Genius can in no sense be applied to +Hook, though readiness was his chief charm. + +The famous Theodore was born in the same year as Byron, 1788, the one on +the 22nd of January, the other on the 22nd of September; so the poet was +only nine months his senior. Hook, like many other wits, was a second +son. Ladies of sixty or seventy well remember the name of Hook as that +which accompanied their earliest miseries. It was in learning Hook's +exercises, or primers, or whatever they were called, that they first had +their fingers slapped over the piano-forte. The father of Theodore, no +doubt, was the unwitting cause of much unhappiness to many a young lady +in her teens. Hook _père_ was an organist at Norwich. He came up to +town, and was engaged at Marylebone Gardens and at Vauxhall; so that +Theodore had no excuse for being of decidedly plebeian origin, and, Tory +as he was, he was not fool enough to aspire to patricianism. + +Theodore's family was, in real fact, Theodore himself. He made the name +what it is, and raised himself to the position he at one time held. Yet +he had a brother whose claims to celebrity are not altogether ancillary. +James Hook was fifteen years older than Theodore. After leaving +Westminster School he was sent to immortal Skimmery (St. Mary's Hall), +Oxford, which has fostered so many great men--and spoiled them. He was +advanced in the church from one preferment to another, and ultimately +became Dean of Worcester. The character of the reverend gentleman is +pretty well known, but it is unnecessary here to go into it farther. He +is only mentioned as Theodore's brother in this sketch.[12] He was a +dabbler in literature, like his brother, but scarcely to the same extent +a dabbler in wit. + +[12: Dr. James Hook, Dean of Worcester, was father to Dr. Walter +Farquhar Hook, now the excellent Dean of Chichester, late Vicar of +Leeds.] + +The younger son of 'Hook's Exercises' developed early enough a taste for +ingenious lying--so much admired in his predecessor--Sheridan, He +'fancied himself' a genius, and therefore, from school-age, not amenable +to the common laws of ordinary men. Frequenters of the now fashionable +prize-ring--thanks to two brutes who have brought that degraded pastime +into prominent notice--will hear a great deal about a man 'fancying +himself.' It is common slang and heeds little explanation. Hook 'fancied +himself' from an early period, and continued to 'fancy himself,' in +spite of repeated disgraces, till a very mature age. At Harrow, he was +the contemporary, but scarcely the friend, of Lord Byron. No two +characters could have been more unlike. Every one knows, more or less, +what Byron's was; it need only be said that Hook's was the reverse of it +in every respect. Byron felt where Hook laughed. Byron was morbid where +Hook was gay. Byron abjured with disgust the social vices to which he +was introduced; Hook fell in with them. Byron indulged in vice in a +romantic way; Hook in the coarsest. There is some excuse for Byron, much +as he has been blamed. There is little or no excuse for Hook, much as +his faults have been palliated. The fact is that goodness of heart will +soften, in men's minds, any or all misdemeanours. Hook, in spite of many +vulgar witticisms and cruel jokes, seems to have had a really good +heart. + +I have it on the authority of one of Hook's most intimate friends, that +he was capable of any act of kindness, and by way of instance of his +goodness of heart, I am told by the same person that he on one occasion +quitted all his town amusements to solace the spirit of a friend in the +country who was in serious trouble. I, of course, refrain from giving +names: but the same person informs me that much of his time was devoted +in a like manner, to relieving, as far as possible, the anxiety of his +friends, often, indeed, arising from his own carelessness. It is due to +Hook to make this impartial statement before entering on a sketch of his +'Sayings and Doings,' which must necessarily leave the impression that +he was a heartless man. + +Old Hook, the father, soon perceived the value of his son's talents; +and, determined to turn them to account, encouraged his natural +inclination to song-writing. At the age of sixteen Theodore wrote a kind +of comic opera, to which his father supplied the music. This was called +'The Soldier's Return.' It was followed by others, and young Hook, not +yet out of his teens, managed to keep a Drury Lane audience alive, as +well as himself and family. It must be remembered, however, that Liston +and Matthews could make almost any piece amusing. The young author was +introduced behind the scenes through his father's connection with the +theatre, and often played the fool under the stage while others were +playing it for him above it, practical jokes being a passion with him +which he developed thus early. These tricks were not always very +good-natured, which may be said of many of his jokes out of the theatre. + +He soon showed evidence of another talent, that of acting as well as +writing pieces. Assurance was one of the main features of his character, +and to it he owed his success in society; but it is a remarkable fact, +that on his first appearance before an audience he entirely lost all his +nerve, turned pale, and could scarcely utter a syllable. He rapidly +recovered, however, and from this time became a favourite performer in +private theatricals, in which he was supported by Mathews and Mrs. +Mathews, and some amateurs who were almost equal to any professional +actors. His attempts were, of course, chiefly in broad farce and roaring +burlesque, in which his comic face, with its look of mock gravity, and +the twinkle of the eyes, itself excited roars of laughter. Whether he +would have succeeded as well in sober comedy or upon public boards may +well be doubted. Probably he would not have given to the profession that +careful attention and entire devotion that are necessary to bring +forward properly the highest natural talents. It is said that for a long +time he was anxious to take to the stage as, a profession, but, +perhaps--as the event seems to show--unfortunately for him, he was +dissuaded from what his friends must have thought a very rash step, and +in after years he took a violent dislike to the profession. Certainly +the stage could not have offered more temptations than did the society +in which he afterwards mixed; and perhaps under any circumstances Hook, +whose moral education had been neglected, and whose principles were +never very good, would have lived a life more or less vicious, though he +might not have died as he did. + +Hook, however, was not long in coming very prominently before the public +in another capacity. Of all stories told about him, none are more common +or more popular than those which relate to his practical jokes and +hoaxes. Thank heaven, the world no longer sees amusement in the misery +of others, and the fashion of such clever performance is gone out. It is +fair, however, to premise, that while the cleverest of Hook's hoaxes +were of a victimizing character, a large number were just the reverse, +and his admirers affirm, not without some reason, that when he had got a +dinner out of a person whom he did not know, by an ingenious lie, +admirably supported, he fully paid for it in the amusement he afforded +his host and the ringing metal of his wit. As we have all been +boys--except those that were girls--and not all of us very good boys, we +can appreciate that passion for robbery which began with orchards and +passed on to knockers. It is difficult to sober middle-age to imagine +what entertainment there can be in that breach of the eighth +commandment, which is generally regarded as innocent. As Sheridan +swindled in fun, so Hook, as a young man, robbed in fun, as hundreds of +medical students and others have done before and since. Hook, however, +was a proficient in the art, and would have made a successful +'cracksman' had he been born in the Seven Dials. He collected a complete +museum of knockers, bell-pulls, wooden Highlanders, barbers' poles, and +shop signs of all sorts. On one occasion he devoted a whole fortnight to +the abstraction of a golden eagle over a shop window, by means of a +lasso. A fellow dilettante in the art had confidentially informed him of +its whereabouts, adding that he himself despaired of ever obtaining it. +At length Hook invited his friend to dinner, and on the removal of the +cover of what was supposed to be the joint, the work of art appeared +served up and appropriately garnished. Theodore was radiant with +triumph; but the friend, probably thinking that there ought to be honour +among thieves, was highly indignant at being thus surpassed. + +Another achievement of this kind was the robbery of a life-sized +Highlander, who graced the door of some unsuspecting tobacconist. There +was little difficulty in the mere displacement of the figure; the +troublesome part of the business was to get the bare legged Celt home to +the museum, where probably many a Lilliputian of his race was already +awaiting him. A cloak, a hat, and Hook's ready wit effected the +transfer. The first was thrown over him, the second set upon his +bonneted head, and a passing hackney coach hailed by his captor, who +before the unsuspecting driver could descend, had opened the door, +pushed in the prize, and whispered to Jehu, 'My friend--very respectable +man but rather tipsy.' How he managed to get him out again at the end of +the journey we are not told. + +Hook was soon a successful and valuable writer of light pieces for the +stage. But farces do not live, and few of Hook's are now favourites with +a public which is always athirst for something new. The incidents of +most of the pieces--many of them borrowed from the French--excited +laughter by their very improbability; but the wit which enlivened them +was not of a high order, and Hook, though so much more recent than +Sheridan, has disappeared before him. + +But his hoaxes were far more famous than his collection of curiosities, +and quite as much to the purpose; and the imprudence he displayed in +them was only equalled by the quaintness of the humour which suggested +them. Who else would have ever thought, for instance, of covering a +white horse with black wafers, and driving it in a gig along a Welsh +high-road, merely for the satisfaction of being stared at? It was almost +worthy of Barnum. Or who, with less assurance, could have played so +admirably on the credulity of a lady and daughters fresh from the +country as he did, at the trial of Lord Melville? The lady, who stood +next to him, was, naturally, anxious to understand the proceedings, and +betrayed her ignorance at once by a remark which she made to her +daughter about the procession of the Lords into the House. When the +bishops entered in full episcopal costume, she applied to Hook to know +who were 'those gentlemen?' 'Gentlemen,' quoth Hook, with charming +simplicity; 'ladies, I think you mean; at any rate, those are the +dowager peeresses in their own right.' Question followed question as the +procession came on, and Theodore indulged his fancy more and more. At +length the Speaker, in full robes, became the subject of inquiry. 'And +pray, sir, who is that fine looking person?'--'That, ma'am, is Cardinal +Wolsey,' was the calm and audacious reply. This was too much even for +Sussex; and the lady drew herself up in majestic indignation. 'We know +better than that, sir,' she replied: 'Cardinal Wolsey has been dead many +a good year.' Theodore was unmoved. 'No such thing, my dear madam,' he +answered, without the slightest sign of perturbation: 'I know it has +been generally reported so in the country, but without the slightest +foundation; the newspapers, you know, will say anything.' + +But the hoax of hoaxes, the one which filled the papers of the time for +several days, and which, eventually, made its author the very prince of +hoaxsters, if such a term can be admitted, was that of Berners Street. +Never, perhaps, was so much trouble expended, or so much attention +devoted, to so frivolous an object. In Berners Street there lived an +elderly lady, who, for no reason that can be ascertained, had excited +the animosity of the young Theodore Hook, who was then just of age. Six +weeks were spent in preparation, and three persons engaged in the +affair. Letters were sent off in every direction, and Theodore Hook's +autograph, if it could have any value, must have been somewhat low in +the market at that period, from the number of applications which he +wrote. On the day in question he and his accomplices seated themselves +at a window in Berners Street, opposite to that unfortunate Mrs. +Tottenham, of No 54, and there enjoyed the fun. Advertisements, +announcements, letters, circulars, and what not, had been most freely +issued, and were as freely responded to. A score of sweeps, all 'invited +to attend professionally,' opened the ball at a very early hour, and +claimed admittance, in virtue of the notice they had received. The +maid-servant had only just time to assure them that all the chimneys +were clean, and their services were not required, when some dozen of +coal-carts drew up as near as possible to the ill-fated house. New +protestations, new indignation. The grimy and irate coalheavers were +still being discoursed with, when a bevy of neat and polite individuals +arrived from different quarters, bearing each under his arm a splendid +ten-guinea wedding-cake. The maid grew distracted; her mistress was +single, and had no intention of doubling herself; there must be some +mistake; the confectioners were dismissed, in a very different humour to +that with which they had come. But they were scarcely gone when crowds +began to storm the house, all 'on business.' Rival doctors met in +astonishment and disgust, prepared for an _accouchement_; undertakers +stared one another mutely in the face, as they deposited at the door +coffins made to order--elm or oak--so many feet and so many inches; the +clergymen of all the neighbouring parishes, high church or low church, +were ready to minister to the spiritual wants of the unfortunate +moribund, but retired in disgust when they found that some forty +fishmongers had been engaged to purvey 'cod's head and lobsters' for a +person professing to be on the brink of the grave. + +The street now became the scene of fearful distraction. Furious +tradesmen of every kind were ringing the house-bell, and rapping the +knocker for admittance--such, at least, as could press through the crowd +as far as the house. Bootmakers arrived with Hessians and +Wellingtons--'as per order'--or the most delicate of dancing-shoes for +the sober old lady; haberdashers had brought the last new thing in +evening dress, 'quite the fashion,' and 'very chaste:' hat-makers from +Lincoln and Bennett down to the Hebrew vendor in Marylebone Lane, +arrived with their crown-pieces; butchers' boys, on stout little nags, +could not get near enough to deliver the legs of mutton which had been +ordered; the lumbering coal-carts 'still stopped the way.' A crowd--the +easiest curiosity in the world to collect--soon gathered round the +motley mob of butchers, bakers, candlestick-makers, and makers and +sellers of everything else that mortal can want; the mob thronged the +pavement, the carts filled the road, and soon the carriages of the noble +of the land dashed up in all the panoply of state, and a demand was made +to clear the way for the Duke of Gloucester, for the Governor of the +Bank, the Chairman of the East India Company, and last, but, oh! not +least, the grandee whose successor the originator of the plot afterwards +so admirably satirized--the great Lord Mayor himself. The consternation, +disgust, and terror of the elderly female, the delight and chuckling of +Theodore and his accomplices, seated at a window on the opposite side of +the road, 'can be more easily imagined than described;' but what were +the feelings of tradesmen, professional men, gentlemen, noblemen, and +grand officials, who had been summoned from distant spots by artful +lures to No. 54, and there battled with a crowd in vain only to find +that there were hoaxed; people who had thus lost both time and money, +can be neither described nor imagined. It was not the idea of the +hoax--simple enough in itself--which was entitled to the admiration +accorded to ingenuity, but its extent and success, and the clever means +taken by the conspirators to insure the attendance of every one who +ought not to have been there. It was only late at night that the police +succeeded in clearing the street, and the dupes retired, murmuring and +vowing vengeance. Hook, however, gloried in the exploit, which he +thought 'perfect.' + +But the hoaxing dearest to Theodore--for there was something to be +gained by it---was that by which he managed to obtain a dinner when +either too hard-up to pay for one, or in the humour for a little +amusement. No one who has not lived as a bachelor in London and been +reduced---in respect of coin--to the sum of twopence-halfpenny, can tell +how excellent a strop is hunger to sharpen wit upon. We all know that + + 'Mortals with stomachs can't live without dinner;' + +and in Hook's day the substitute of 'heavy teas' was not invented. +Necessity is very soon brought to bed, when a man puts his fingers into +his pockets, finds them untenanted, and remembers that the only friend +who would consent to lend him five shillings is gone out of town; and +the infant, Invention, presently smiles into the nurse's face. But it +was no uncommon thing in those days for gentlemen to invite themselves +where they listed, and stay as long as they liked. It was only necessary +for them to make themselves really agreeable, and deceive their host in +some way or other. Hook's friend, little Tom Hill, of whom it was said +that he knew everybody's affairs far better than they did themselves, +was famous for examining kitchens about the hour of dinner, and quietly +selecting his host according to the odour of the viands. It is of him +that the old 'Joe Miller' is told of the 'haunch of venison.' Invited to +dinner at one house, he _happens_ to glance down into the kitchen of the +next, and seeing a tempting haunch of venison on the spit, throws over +the inviter, and ingratiates himself with his neighbour, who ends by +asking him to stay to dinner. The fare, however, consisted of nothing +more luxurious than an Irish stew, and the disappointed guest was +informed that he had been 'too cunning by half,' inasmuch as the venison +belonged to his original inviter, and had been cooked in the house he +was in by kind permission, because the chimney of the owner's kitchen +smoked. + +The same principle often actuated Theodore; and, indeed, there are few +stories which can be told of this characteristic of the great frolicker, +which have not been told a century of times. + +For instance: two young men are strolling, towards 5 P.M., in the then +fashionable neighbourhood of Soho; the one is Terry, the actor--the +other, Hook, the actor, for surely he deserves the title. They pass a +house, and sniff the viands cooking underground. Hook quietly announces +his intention of dining _there_. He enters, is admitted and announced by +the servant, mingles with the company, and is quite at home before he is +perceived by the host. At last the _dénouement_ came; the dinner-giver +approached the stranger, and with great politeness asked his name. +'Smith' was, of course, the reply, and reverting to mistakes made by +servants in announcing, &c., 'Smith' hurried off into an amusing story, +to put his host in good humour. The conversation that followed is taken +from 'Ingoldsby':-- + +'But, really, my dear sir,' the host put in, 'I think the mistake on the +present occasion does not originate in the source you allude to; I +certainly did not anticipate the honour of Mr. Smith's company to-day.' + +'No, I dare say not. You said _four_ in your note, I know, and it is +now, I see, a quarter past five; but the fact is, I have been detained +in the City, as I was going to explain--' + +'Pray,' said the host, 'whom do you suppose you are addressing?' + +'Whom? why Mr. Thompson, of course, old friend of my father. I have not +the pleasure, indeed, of being personally known to you, but having +received your kind invitation yesterday,' &c. &c. + +'No, sir, my name is not Thompson, but Jones,' in highly indignant +accents. + +'Jones!' was the well-acted answer: 'why, surely, I cannot have--yes I +must--good heaven! I see it all. My _dear_ sir, what an unfortunate +blunder; wrong house--what must you think of such an intrusion? I am +really at a loss for words in which to apologize; you will permit me to +retire at present, and to-morrow--' + +'Pray, don't think of retiring,' rejoined the host, taken with the +appearance and manner of the young man. 'Your friend's table must have +been cleared long ago, if, as you say, four was the hour named, and I am +too happy to be able to offer you a seat at mine.' + +It may be easily conceived that the invitation had not to be very often +repeated, and Hook kept the risible muscles of the company upon the +constant stretch, and paid for the entertainment in the only coin with +which he was well supplied. + +There was more wit, however, in his visit to a retired watchmaker, who +had got from government a premium of £10,000 for the best chronometer. +Hook was very partial to journeys in search of adventure; a gig, a +lively companion, and sixpence for the first turnpike being generally +all that was requisite; ingenuity supplied the rest. It was on one of +these excursions, that Hook and his friend found themselves in the +neighbourhood of Uxbridge, with a horse and a gig, and not a sixpence to +be found in any pocket. Now a horse and gig are property, but of what +use is a valuable of which you cannot dispose or deposit at a +pawnbroker's, while you are prevented proceeding on your way by that +neat white gate with the neat white box of a house at its side? The only +alternative left to the young men was to drive home again, dinnerless, a +distance of twenty miles, with a jaded horse, or to find gratuitous +accommodation for man and beast. In such a case Sheridan would simply +have driven to the first inn, and by persuasion or stratagem contrived +to elude payment, after having drunk the best wine and eaten the best +dinner the house could afford. Hook was really more refined, as well as +bolder in his pillaging. + +The villa of the retired tradesman was perceived, and the gig soon drew +up before the door. The strangers were ushered in to the watchmaker, and +Hook, with great politeness and a serious respectful look, addressed +him. He said that he felt he was taking a great liberty--so he was--but +that he could not pass the door of a man who had done the country so +much service by the invention of what must prove the most useful and +valuable instrument, without expressing to him the gratitude which he, +as a British subject devoted to his country's good, could not but feel +towards the inventor, &c. &c. The flattery was so delicately and so +seriously insinuated, that the worthy citizen could only receive it as +an honest expression of sincere admiration. The Rubicon was passed; a +little lively conversation, artfully made attractive by Hook, followed, +and the watchmaker was more and more gratified. He felt, too, what an +honour it would be to entertain two real gentlemen, and remarking that +they were far from town, brought out at last the longed-for invitation, +which was, of course, declined as out of the question. Thereupon the old +gentleman became pressing: the young strangers were at last prevailed +upon to accept it, and very full justice they did to the larder and +cellar of the successful chronometer-maker. + +There is nothing very original in the act of hoaxing, and Hook's way of +getting a hackney-coach without paying for it, was, perhaps, suggested +by Sheridan's, but was more laughable. Finding himself in the vehicle, +and knowing that there was nothing either in his purse or at home to pay +the fare, he cast about for expedients, and at last remembered the +address of an eminent surgeon in the neighbourhood. He ordered the +coachman to drive to his house and knock violently at the door, which +was no sooner opened than Hook rushed in, terribly agitated, demanded to +see the doctor, to whom in a few incoherent and agitated sentences, he +gave to understand that his wife needed his services, immediately, being +on the point of becoming a mother. + +'I will start directly,' replied the surgeon; 'I will order my carriage +at once.' + +'But, my dear sir, there is not a moment to spare. I have a coach at the +door, jump into that.' + +The surgeon obeyed. The name and address given were those of a +middle-aged spinster of the most rigid virtue. We can imagine her +indignation, and how sharply she rung the bell, when the surgeon had +delicately explained the object of his visit, and how eagerly he took +refuge in the coach. Hook had, of course, walked quietly away in the +meantime, and the Galenite had to pay the demand of Jehu. + +The hoaxing stories of Theodore Hook are numberless. Hoaxing was the +fashion of the day, and a childish fashion too. Charles Mathews, whose +face possessed the flexibility of an acrobat's body, and who could +assume any character or disguise on the shortest notice, was his great +confederate in these plots. The banks of the Thames were their great +resort. At one point there was Mathews talking gibberish in a disguise +intended to represent the Spanish Ambassador, and actually deceiving the +Woolwich authorities by his clever impersonation. At another, there was +Hook landing uninvited with his friends upon the well-known, +sleek-looking lawn of a testy little gentleman, drawing out a note-book +and talking so authoritatively about the survey for a canal, to be +undertaken by Government, that the owner of the lawn becomes frightened, +and in his anxiety attempts to conciliate the mighty self-made official +by the offer of dinner--of course accepted. + +[Illustration: THEODORE HOOK'S ENGINEERING FROLIC.] + +Then the _Arcades ambo_ show off their jesting tricks at Croydon fair, a +most suitable place for them. On one occasion Hook personates a madman, +accusing Mathews, 'his brother,' of keeping him out of his rights and in +his custody. The whole fair collects around them, and begins to +sympathise with Hook, who begs them to aid in his escape from his +'brother.' A sham escape and sham capture take place, and the party +adjourn to the inn, where Mathews, who had been taken by surprise by the +new part suddenly played by his confederate, seized upon a hearse, which +drew up before the inn, on its return from a funeral, persuaded the +company to bind the 'madman,' who was now becoming furious, and who +would have deposited him in the gloomy vehicle, if he had not succeeded +in snapping his fetters, and so escaped. In short, they were two boys, +with the sole difference, that they had sufficient talent and experience +of the world to maintain admirably the parts they assumed. + +But a far more famous and more admirable talent in Theodore than that of +deception was that of improvising. The art of improvising belongs to +Italy and the Tyrol. The wonderful gift of ready verse to express +satire, and ridicule, seems, as a rule, to be confined to the +inhabitants of those two lands. Others are, indeed, scattered over the +world, who possess this gift, but very sparsely. Theodore Hook stands +almost alone in this country as an improviser. Yet to judge of such of +his verses as have been preserved, taken down from memory or what not, +the grand effect of them--and no doubt it _was_ grand--must have been +owing more to his manner and his acting, than to any intrinsic value in +the verses themselves, which are, for the most part, slight, and devoid +of actual wit, though abounding in puns. Sheridan's testimony to the +wonderful powers of the man is, perhaps, more valuable than that of any +one else, for he was a good judge both of verse and of wit. One of +Hook's earliest displays of his talent was at a dinner given by the +Drury Lane actors to Sheridan at the Piazza Coffee House in 1808. Here, +as usual, Hook sat down to the piano, and touching off a few chords, +gave verse after verse on all the events of the entertainment, on each +person present, though he now saw many of them for the first time, and +on anything connected with the matters of interest before them. Sheridan +was delighted, and declared that he could not have believed such a +faculty possible if he had not witnessed its effects: that no +description 'could have convinced him of so peculiar an instance of +genius,' and so forth. + +One of his most extraordinary efforts in this line is related by Mr. +Jerdan. A dinner was given by Mansell Reynolds to Lockhart, Luttrell, +Coleridge, Hook, Tom Hill, and others. The grown-up schoolboys, pretty +far gone in Falernian, of a home-made, and very homely vintage, amused +themselves by breaking the wine-glasses, till Coleridge was set to +demolish the last of them with a fork thrown at it from the side of the +table. Let it not be supposed that any teetotal spirit suggested this +inconoclasm, far from it--the glasses were too small, and the poets, the +wits, the punsters, the jesters, preferred to drink their port out of +tumblers. After dinner Hook gave one of his songs which satirized +successively, and successfully, each person present. He was then +challenged to improvise on any given subject, and by way of one as far +distant from poetry as could be, _cocoa-nut oil_ was fixed upon. +Theodore accepted the challenge; and after a moment's consideration +began his lay with a description of the Mauritius, which he knew so +well, the negroes dancing round the cocoa-nut tree, the process of +extracting the oil, and so forth, all in excellent rhyme and rhythm, if +not actual poetry. Then came the voyage to England, hits at the Italian +warehousemen, and so on, till the oil is brought into the very lamp +before them in that very room, to show them with the light it feeds and +make them able to break wine-glasses and get drunk from tumblers. This +we may be sure Hook himself did, for one, and the rest were probably not +much behind him. + +In late life this gift of Hook's--improvising I mean, not getting +intoxicated--was his highest recommendation in society, and at the same +time his bane. Like Sheridan, he was ruined by his wonderful natural +powers. It can well be imagined that to improvise in the manner in which +Hook did it, and at a moment's notice, required some effort of the +intellect. This effort became greater as circumstances depressed his +spirits more and more and yet with every care upon his mind, he was +expected, wherever he went, to amuse the guests with a display of his +talent. He could not do so without stimulants, and rather than give up +society, fell into habits of drinking, which hastened his death. + +We have thrown together the foregoing anecdotes of Hook, irrespective of +time, in order to show what the man's gifts were, and what his title to +be considered a wit. We must proceed more steadily to a review of his +life. Successful as Hook had proved as a writer for the stage, he +suddenly and without any sufficient cause rushed off into another branch +of literature, that of novel-writing. His first attempt in this kind of +fiction was 'The Man of Sorrow,' published under the _nom de plume_ of +_Alfred Allendale_. This was not, as its name would seem to imply, a +novel of pathetic cast, but the history of a gentleman whose life from +beginning to end is rendered wretched by a succession of mishaps of the +most ludicrous but improbable kind. Indeed Theodore's novels, like his +stage-pieces, are gone out of date in an age so practical that even in +romance it will not allow of the slightest departure from reality. Their +very style was ephemeral, and their interest could not outlast the +generation to amuse which they were penned. This first novel was written +when Hook was one-and-twenty. Soon after he was sent to Oxford, where he +had been entered at St. Mary's Hall, more affectionately known by the +nickname of 'Skimmery.' No selection could have been worse. Skimmery +was, at that day, and, until quite recently, a den of thieves, where +young men of fortune and folly submitted to be pillaged in return for +being allowed perfect licence, as much to eat as they could possibly +swallow, and far more to drink than was at all good for them. It has +required all the enterprise of the present excellent Principal to +convert it into a place of sober study. It was then the most +'gentlemanly' residence in Oxford; for a gentleman in those days meant a +man who did nothing, spent his own or his father's guineas with a +brilliant indifference to consequences, and who applied his mind solely +to the art of frolic. It was the very place where Hook would be +encouraged instead of restrained in his natural propensities, and had he +remained there he would probably have ruined himself and his father long +before he had put on the sleeves. + +At the matriculation itself he gave a specimen of his 'fun.' + +When asked, according to the usual form, 'if he was willing to sign the +Thirty-nine Articles,' he replied, 'Certainly, sir, _forty_ if you +please.' The gravity of the stern Vice-Chancellor was upset, but as no +Oxford Don can ever pardon a joke, however good, Master Theodore was +very nearly being dismissed, had not his brother, by this time a +Prebendary of Winchester, and 'an honour to his college, sir,' +interceded in his favour. + +The night before, he had given a still better specimen of his +effrontery. He had picked up a number of old Harrovians, with whom he +had repaired to a tavern for song, supper, and sociability, and as usual +in such cases, in the lap of Alma Mater, the babes became sufficiently +intoxicated, and not a little uproarious. Drinking in a tavern is +forbidden by Oxonian statutes, and one of the proctors happening to pass +in the street outside, was attracted into the house by the sound of +somewhat unscholastic merriment. The effect can be imagined. All the +youths were in absolute terror, except Theodore, and looked in vain for +some way to escape. The wary and faithful 'bulldogs' guarded the +doorway; the marshal, predecessor of the modern omniscient Brown, +advanced respectfully behind the proctor into the room, and passing a +penetrating glance from one youth to the other, all of whom--except +Theodore again--he knew by sight--for that is the pride and pleasure of +a marshal--mentally registered their names in secret hopes of getting +half-a-crown a-piece to forget them again. + +No mortal is more respectful in his manner of accosting you than an +Oxford proctor, for he may make a mistake, and a mistake may make him +very miserable. When, for instance, a highly respectable lady was the +other day lodged, in spite of protestations, in the 'Procuratorial +Rooms,' and there locked up on suspicion of being somebody very +different, the over-zealous proctor who had ordered her incarceration +was sued for damages for £300, and had to pay them too! Therefore the +gentleman in question most graciously and suavely inquired of Mr. +Theodore Hook-- + +'I beg your pardon, sir, but are you a member of this university?'--the +usual form. + +'No, sir, I am not. Are you?' + +The suavity at once changed to grave dignity. The proctor lifted up the +hem of his garment, which being of broad velvet, with the selvage on it, +was one of the insignia of his office, and sternly said,--'You see this, +sir.' + +'Ah!' said Hook, cool as ever, and quietly feeling the material, which +he examined with apparent interest, 'I see; Manchester velvet: and may I +take the liberty, sir, of inquiring how much you have paid per yard for +the article?' + +A roar of laughter from all present burst forth with such vehemence that +it shot the poor official, red with suppressed anger, into the street +again, and the merrymakers continued their bout till the approach of +midnight, when they were obliged to return to their respective colleges. + +Had Theodore proceeded in this way for several terms, no doubt the +outraged authorities would have added his name to the list of the great +men whom they have expelled from time to time most unprophetically. As +it was, he soon left the groves of Academus, and sought those of Fashion +in town. His matriculation into this new university was much more +auspicious; he was hailed in society as already fit to take a degree of +bachelor of his particular arts, and ere long his improvising, his fun, +his mirth--as yet natural and over-boiling--his wicked punning, and his +tender wickedness, induced the same institution to offer him the grade +of 'Master' of those arts. In after years he rose to be even 'Doctor,' +and many, perhaps, were the minds diseased to which his well-known mirth +ministered. + +It was during this period that some of his talents were displayed in the +manner we have described, though his great fame as an improvisatore was +established more completely in later days. Yet he had already made +himself a name in that species of wit--not a very high one--which found +favour with the society of that period. We allude to imitation, 'taking +off,' and punning. The last contemptible branch of wit-making, now +happily confined to 'Punch,' is as old as variety of language. It is not +possible with simple vocabularies, and accordingly is seldom met with in +purely-derived languages. Yet we have Roman and Greek puns; and English +is peculiarly adapted to this childish exercise, because, being made up +of several languages, it necessarily contains many words which are like +in sound and unlike in meaning. Punning is, in fact, the vice of English +wit, the temptation of English mirth-makers, and, at last, we trust, the +scorn of English good sense. But in Theodore's day it held a high place, +and men who had no real wit about them could twist and turn words and +combinations of words with great ingenuity and much readiness, to the +delight of their listeners. Pun-making was a fashion among the +conversationists of that day, and took the place of better wit. Hook was +a disgraceful punster, and a successful one. He strung puns together by +the score--nothing more easy--in his improvised songs and conversation. +Take an instance from his quiz on the march of intellect:-- + + 'Hackney-coachmen from _Swift_ shall reply, if you feel + Annoyed at being needlessly shaken; + And butchers, of course, be flippant from _Steele_, + And pig-drivers well versed in _Bacon_. + From _Locke_ shall the blacksmiths authority brave, + And gas-men cite _Coke_ at discretion; + Undertakers talk _Gay_ as they go to the _grave_, + And watermen _Rowe_ by profession.' + +I have known a party of naturally stupid people produce a whole century +of puns one after another, on any subject that presented itself, and I +am inclined to think that nothing can, at the same time, be more +nauseous, or more destructive to real wit. Yet Theodore's strength lay +in puns, and when shorn of them, the Philistines might well laugh at his +want of strength. Surely his title to wit does not lie in that +direction. + +However, he amused, and that gratis; and an amusing man makes his way +anywhere if he have only sufficient tact not to abuse his privileges. +Hook grew great in London society for a time, and might have grown +greater if a change had not come. + +He had supported himself, up to 1812, almost entirely by his pen: and +the goose-quill is rarely a staff, though it may sometimes be a +walking-stick. It was clear that he needed--what so many of us need and +cannot get--a certainty. Happy fellow! he might have begged for an +appointment for years in vain, as many another does, but it fell into +his lap, no one knows how, and at four-and-twenty Mr. Theodore Edward +Hook was made treasurer to the Island of Mauritius, with a salary of +£2,000 per annum. This was not to be, and was not, despised. In spite of +climate, mosquitoes, and so forth, Hook took the money and sailed. + +We have no intention of entering minutely upon his conduct in this +office, which has nothing to do with his character as a wit. There are a +thousand and one reasons for believing him guilty of the charges brought +against him, and a thousand and one for supposing him guiltless. Here +was a young man, gay, jovial, given to society entirely, and not at all +to arithmetic, put into a very trying and awkward position--native +clerks who would cheat if they could, English governors who would find +fault if they could, a disturbed treasury, an awkward currency, liars +for witnesses, and undeniable evidence of defalcation. In a word, an +examination was made into the state of the treasury of the island, and a +large deficit found. It remained to trace it home to its original +author. + +Hook had not acquired the best character in the island. Those who know +the official dignity of a small British colony can well understand how +his pleasantries must have shocked those worthy big-wigs who, exalted +from Pump Court, Temple, or Paradise Row, Old Brompton, to places of +honour and high salaries, rode their high horses with twice the +exclusiveness of those 'to the manner born.' For instance, Hook was +once, by a mere chance, obliged to take the chair at an official dinner, +on which occasion the toasts proposed by the chairman were to be +accompanied by a salute from guns without. Hook went through the list, +and seemed to enjoy toast-drinking so much that he was quite sorry to +have come to the end of it, and continued, as if still from the list, to +propose successively the health of each officer present. The gunners +were growing quite weary, but having their orders, dared not complain. +Hook was delighted, and went on to the amazement and amusement of all +who were not tired of the noise, each youthful sub, taken by surprise, +being quite gratified at the honour done him. At last there was no one +left to toast; but the wine had taken effect, and Hook, amid roars of +laughter inside, and roars of savage artillery without, proposed the +health of the waiter who had so ably officiated. This done, he bethought +him of the cook, who was sent for to return thanks; but the artillery +officer had by this time got wind of the affair, and feeling that more +than enough powder had been wasted on the health of gentlemen who were +determined to destroy it by the number of their potations, took on +himself the responsibility of ordering the gunners to stop. + +On another occasion he incurred the displeasure of the governor, General +Hall, by fighting a duel--fortunately as harmless as that of Moore and +Jeffrey-- + + 'When Little's leadless pistol met his eye, + And Bow-street myrmidons stood laughing by,' + +as Byron says. The governor was sensible enough to wish to put down the +'Gothic appeal to arms,' and was therefore the more irate. + +These circumstances must be taken into consideration in Hook's favour in +examining the charge of embezzlement. It must also be stated that the +information of the deficit was sent in a letter to the governor by a man +named Allan, chief clerk in the Treasury, who had, for irregular +conduct, been already threatened with dismissal. Allan had admitted that +he had known of the deficit for fifteen months, and yet he had not, till +he was himself in trouble, thought of making it known to the proper +authorities. Before his examination, which of course followed, could be +concluded, Allan committed suicide. Now, does it not, on the face of it, +seem of the highest probability that this man was the real delinquent, +and that knowing that Hook had all the responsibility, and having taken +fair precautions against his own detection, he had anticipated a +discovery of the affair by a revelation, incriminating the treasurer? +_Quien sabe_;--dead men tell no tales. + +The chest, however, was examined, and the deficit found far greater yet +than had been reported. Hook could not explain, could not understand it +at all; but if not criminal, he had necessarily been careless. He was +arrested, thrown into prison, and by the first vessel despatched to +England to take his trial, his property of every kind having been sold +for the Government. Hook, in utter destitution, might be supposed to +have lost his usual spirits, but he could not resist a joke. At St. +Helena he met an old friend going out to the Cape, who, surprised at +seeing him on his return voyage after a residence of only five years, +said: 'I hope you are not going home for your health.'--'Why,' said +Theodore, 'I am sorry to say they think there is something wrong in the +_chest._ Something wrong in the chest' became henceforward the ordinary +phrase in London society in referring to Hook's scrape. + +Arrived in England, he was set free, the Government here having decided +that he could not be criminally tried; and thus Hook, guilty or not, had +been ruined and disgraced for life for simple carelessness. True, the +custody of a nation's property makes negligence almost criminal; but +that does not excuse the punishment of a man before he is tried. + +He was summoned, however, to the Colonial Audit Board, where he +underwent a trying examination; after which he was declared to be in the +debt of Government: a writ of extent was issued against him; nine months +were passed in that delightful place of residence--a Sponging-house, +which he then exchanged for the 'Rules of the Bench'--the only rules +which have no exception. From these he was at last liberated, in 1825, +on the understanding that he was to repay the money to Government if at +any time he should be in a position to do so. + +His liberation was a tacit acknowledgment of his innocence of the charge +of robbery; his encumberment with a debt caused by another's +delinquencies was, we presume, a signification of his responsibility and +some kind of punishment for his carelessness. Certainly it was hard upon +Hook, that, if innocent, he should not have gone forth without a stain +on his character for honesty; and it was unjust, that, if guilty, he +should not have been punished. The judgment was one of those compromises +with stern justice which are seldom satisfactory to either party. + +The fact was that, guilty or not guilty, Hook had been both incompetent +and inconsiderate. Doubtless he congratulated himself highly on +receiving, at the age of twenty-five, an appointment worth £2,000 a year +in the paradise of the world; but how short-sighted his satisfaction, +since this very appointment left him some ten years later a pauper to +begin life anew with an indelible stain on his character. It was absurd +to give so young a man such a post; but it was absolutely wrong in Hook +not to do his utmost to carry out his duties properly. Nay, he had +trifled with the public money in the same liberal--perhaps a _more_ +liberal--spirit as if it had been his own--made advances and loans here +and there injudiciously, and taken little heed of the consequences. +Probably, at this day, the common opinion acquits Hook of a designed and +complicated fraud; but common opinion never did acquit him of +misconduct, and even by his friends this affair was looked upon with a +suspicion that preferred silence to examination. + +But why take such pains to exonerate Hook from a charge of robbery, when +he was avowedly guilty of as bad a sin, of which the law took no +cognizance, and which society forgave far more easily than it could have +done for robbing the State? Soon after his return from the Mauritius, he +took lodgings in the cheap, but unfashionable neighbourhood of Somers +Town. Here, in the moment of his misfortune, when doubting whether +disgrace, imprisonment, or what not awaited him, he sought solace in the +affection of a young woman, of a class certainly much beneath his, and +of a character unfit to make her a valuable companion to him. Hook had +received little moral training, and had he done so, his impulses were +sufficiently strong to overcome any amount of principle. With this +person--to use the modern slang which seems to convert a glaring sin +into a social misdemeanour--'he formed a connection.' In other words, he +destroyed her virtue. Hateful as such an act is, we must, before we can +condemn a man for it without any recommendation to mercy, consider a +score of circumstances which have rendered the temptation stronger, and +the result almost involuntary. Hook was not a man of high moral +character--very far from it--but we need not therefore suppose that he +sat down coolly and deliberately, like a villain in a novel, to effect +the girl's ruin. But the Rubicon once passed, how difficult is the +retreat! There are but two paths open to a man, who would avoid living a +life of sin: the one, to marry his victim; the other, to break off the +connection before it is too late. The first is, of course, the more +proper course; but there are cases where marriage is impossible. From +the latter a man of any heart must shrink with horror. Yet there _are_ +cases, even, where the one sin will prove the least--where she who has +loved too well may grieve bitterly at parting, yet will be no more open +to temptation than if she had never fallen. Such cases are rare, and it +is not probable that the young person with whom Hook had become +connected would have retrieved the fatal error. She became a mother, and +there was no retreat. It is clear that Hook ought to have married her. +It is evident that he was selfish and wrong not to do so;--yet he shrank +from it, weakly, wickedly, and he was punished for his shrinking. He had +sufficient feeling not to throw his victim over, yet he was content to +live a life of sin, and to keep her in such a life. This is perhaps the +blackest stain on Hook's character. When Fox married, in consequence of +a similar connection, he 'settled down,' retrieved his early errors, and +became a better man, morally, than he had ever been. Hook _ought_ to +have married. It was the cowardly dread of public opinion that deterred +him from doing so, and, in consequence, he was never happy, and felt +that this connection was a perpetual burden to him. + +Wrecked and ruined, Hook had no resource but his literary talents, and +it is to be deplored that he should have prostituted these to serve an +ungentlemanly and dishonourable party in their onslaught upon an +unfortunate woman. Whatever may be now thought of the queen of 'the +greatest gentleman'--or _roue_--of Europe, those who hunted her down +will never be pardoned, and Hook was one of those. We have cried out +against an Austrian general for condemning a Hungarian lady to the lash, +and we have seen, with delight, a mob chase him through the streets of +London and threaten his very life. But we have not only pardoned, but +even praised, our favourite wit for far worse conduct than this. Even if +we allow, which we do not, chat the queen was one half as bad as her +enemies, or rather her husband's parasites, would make her out, we +cannot forgive the men who, shielded by their incognito, and perfectly +free from danger of any kind, set upon a woman with libels, invectives, +ballads, epigrams, and lampoons, which a lady could scarcely read, and +of which a royal lady, and many an English gentlewoman, too, were the +butts. + +The vilest of all the vile papers of that day was the 'John Bull,' now +settled down to a quiet periodical. Perhaps the real John Bull, heavy, +good-natured lumberer as he is, was never worse represented than in this +journal which bore his name, but had little of his kindly spirit. Hook +was its originator, and for a long time its main supporter. Scurrility, +scandal, libel, baseness of all kinds formed the fuel with which it +blazed, and the wit, bitter, unflinching, unsparing, which puffed the +flame up, was its chief recommendation. + +No more disgraceful climax was ever reached by a disgraceful dynasty of +profligates than that which found a King of England--long, as Regent, +the leader of the profligate and degraded--at war with his injured +Queen. None have deserved better the honest gratitude of their country +than those who, like Henry Brougham, defended the oppressed woman in +spite of opposition, obloquy, and ridicule. + +But we need not go deeply into a history so fresh in the minds of all, +as that blot which shows John Bull himself upholding a wretched +dissipated monarch against a wife, who, whatever her faults, was still a +woman, and whatever her spirit--for she had much of it, and showed it +grandly at need--was still a lady. Suffice it to say that 'John Bull' +was the most violent of the periodicals that attacked her, and that +Theodore Hook, no Puritan himself, was the principal writer in that +paper. + +If you can imagine 'Punch' turned Conservative, incorporated in one +paper with the 'Morning Herald,' so that a column of news was printed +side by side with one of a jocular character, and these two together +devoted without principle to the support of a party, the attack of +Whiggism, and an unblushing detraction of the character of one of our +princesses, you can form some idea of what 'John Bull' was in those +days. There is, however, a difference: 'Punch' attacks public +characters, and ridicules public events; 'John Bull' dragged out the +most retired from their privacy, and attacked them with calumnies for +which, often, there was no foundation. Then, again, 'Punch' is not +nearly so bitter as was 'John Bull:' there is not in the 'London +Charivari' a determination to say everything that spite can invent +against any particular set or party; there is a good nature, still, in +master 'Punch.' It was quite the reverse in 'John Bull,' established for +one purpose, and devoted to that. Yet the wit in Theodore's paper does +not rise much higher than that of our modern laughing philosopher. + +Of Hook's contributions the most remarkable was the 'Ramsbottom +Letters,' in which Mrs. Lavinia Dorothea Ramsbottom describes all the +_memory billions_ of her various tours at home and abroad, always, of +course, with more or less allusion to political affairs. The 'fun' of +these letters is very inferior to that of 'Jeames' or of the 'Snob +Papers,' and consists more in Malaprop absurdities and a wide range of +bad puns, than in any real wit displayed in them. Of the style of both, +we take an extract anywhere:-- + +'Oh! Mr. Bull, Room is raley a beautiful place. We entered it by the +Point of Molly, which is just like the Point and Sally at Porchmouth, +only they call Sally there Port, which is not known in Room. The Tiber +is a nice river, it looks yellow, but it does the same there as the +Thames does here. We hired a carry-lettz and a cocky-olly, to take us to +the Church of Salt Peter, which is prodigious big; in the centre of the +pizarro there is a basilisk very high, on the right and left two +handsome foundlings; and the farcy, as Mr. Fulmer called it, is +ornamented with collateral statutes of some of the Apostates.' + +We can quite imagine that Hook wrote many of these letters when excited +by wine. Some are laughable enough, but the majority are so deplorably +stupid, reeking with puns and scurrility, that when the temporary +interest was gone, there was nothing left to attract the reader. It is +scarcely possible to laugh at the Joe-Millerish mistakes, the old world +puns, and the trite stories of Hook 'remains.' Remains! indeed; they had +better have remained where they were. + +Besides prose of this kind, Hook contributed various jingles--there is +no other name for them--arranged to popular tunes, and intended to +become favourites with the country people. These like the prose +effusions, served the purpose of an hour, and have no interest now. +Whether they were ever really popular remains to be proved. Certes, they +are forgotten now, and long since even in the most Conservative corners +of the country. Many of these have the appearance of having been +originally _recitati_, and their amusement must have depended chiefly on +the face and manner of the singer--Hook himself; but in some he +displayed that vice of rhyming which has often made nonsense go down, +and which is tolerable only when introduced in the satire of a 'Don +Juan' or the first-rate mimicry of 'Rejected Addresses.' Hook had a most +wonderful facility in concocting out-of-the-way rhymes, and a few verses +from his song on Clubs will suffice for a good specimen of his talent:-- + + 'If any man loves comfort, and has little cash to buy it, he + Should get into a crowded club--a most select society; + While solitude and mutton-cutlets serve _infelix uxor_, he + May have his club (Like Hercules), and revel there in luxury. + Bow, wow, wow, &c. + + 'Yes, clubs knock houses on the head; e'en Hatchett's can't demolish + them; + Joy grieves to see their magnitude, and Long longs to abolish them. + The inns are out; hotels for single men scarce keep alive on it; + While none but houses that are in the family way thrive on it. + Bow, wow, wow, &c. + + 'There's first the Athenaeum Club, so wise, there's not a man of it, + That has not sense enough for six (in fact, that is the plan of it); + The very waiters answer you with eloquence Socratical; + And always place the knives and forks in order mathematical. + Bow, wow, wow, &c. + + * * * * * + + 'E'en Isis has a house in town, and Cam abandons her city. + The master now hangs out at the Trinity University. + + * * * * * + + 'The Union Club is quite superb; its best apartment daily is, + The lounge of lawyers, doctors, merchants, beaux, _cum multis aliis_. + + * * * * * + + 'The Travellers are in Pall Mall, and smoke cigars so cosily, + And dream they climb the highest Alps, or rove the plains of Moselai. + + * * * * * + + 'These are the stages which all men propose to play their parts upon, + For _clubs_ are what the Londoners have clearly set their _hearts_ + upon. + Bow, wow, wow, tiddy-iddy-iddy-iddy, bow, wow, wow, &c. + +This is one of the harmless ballads of 'Bull.' Some of the political +ones are scarcely fit to print in the present day. We cannot wonder that +ladies of a certain position gave out that they would not receive any +one who took in this paper. It was scurrilous to the last degree, and +Theodore Hook was the soul of it. He preserved his incognito so well, +that in spite of all attempts to unearth him, it was many years before +he could be certainly fixed upon as a writer in its columns. He even +went to the length of writing letters and articles against himself, in +order to disarm suspicion. + +Hook now lived and thrived purely on literature. He published many +novels--gone where the bad novels go, and unread in the present day, +unless in some remote country town, which boasts only a very meagre +circulating library. Improbability took the place of natural painting in +them; punning supplied that of better wit; and personal portraiture was +so freely used, that his most intimate friends--old Mathews, for +instance--did not escape. + +Meanwhile Hook, making a good fortune, returned to his convivial life, +and the enjoyment--if enjoyment it be--of general society. He 'threw out +his bow window' on the strength of his success with 'John Bull,' and +spent much more than he had. He mingled freely in all the London circles +of thirty years ago, whose glory is still fresh in the minds of most of +us, and everywhere his talent as an improvisatore, and his +conversational powers, made him a general favourite. + +Unhappy popularity for Hook! He, who was yet deeply in debt to the +nation--who had an illegitimate family to maintain, who owed in many +quarters more than he could ever hope to pay--was still fool enough to +entertain largely, and receive both nobles and wits in the handsomest +manner. Why did he not live quietly? why not, like Fox, marry the +unhappy woman whom he had made the mother of his children, and content +himself with trimming vines and rearing tulips? Why, forsooth? because +he was Theodore Hook, thoughtless and foolish to the last. The jester of +the people must needs be a fool. Let him take it to his conscience that +he was not as much a knave. + +In his latter years Hook took to the two dissipations most likely to +bring him into misery--play and drink. He was utterly unfitted for the +former, being too gay a spirit to sit down and calculate chances. He +lost considerably, and the more he lost the more he played. Drinking +became almost a necessity with him. He had a reputation to keep up in +society, and had not the moral courage to retire from it altogether. +Writing, improvising, conviviality, play, demanded stimulants. His mind +was overworked in every sense. He had recourse to the only remedy, and +in drinking he found a temporary relief from anxiety, and a short-lived +sustenance. There is no doubt that this man, who had amused London +circles for many years, hastened his end by drinking. + +It is not yet thirty years since Theodore Hook died. He left the world +on August the 24th, 1841, and by this time he remains in the memory of +men only as a wit that was, a punster, a hoaxer, a sorry jester, with an +ample fund of fun, but not as a great man in any way. Allowing +everything for his education--the times he lived in, and the unhappy +error of his early life--we may admit that Hook was not, in character, +the worst of the wits. He died in no odour of sanctity, but he was not a +blasphemer or reviler, like others of this class. He ignored the bond of +matrimony, yet he remained faithful to the woman he had betrayed; he was +undoubtedly careless in the one responsible office with which he was +intrusted, yet he cannot be taxed, taking all in all, with deliberate +peculation. His drinking and playing were bad--very bad. His improper +connection was bad--very bad; but perhaps the worst feature in his +career was his connection with 'John Bull,' and his ready giving in to a +system of low libel. There is no excuse for this but the necessity of +living; but Hook, had he retained any principle, might have made enough +to live upon in a more honest manner. His name does, certainly, not +stand out well among the wits of this country, but after all, since all +were so bad, Hook may be excused as not being the worst of them. +_Requiescat in pace_. + + + +SYDNEY SMITH. + + +The 'Wise Wit.'--Oddities of the Father.--Verse-making at Winchester.-- +Curate Life on Salisbury Plain.--Old Edinburgh.--Its Social and +Architectural Features.--Making Love Metaphysically.--The Old Scottish +Supper.--The Men of Mark passing away---The Band of Young Spirits.-- +Brougham's Early Tenacity.--Fitting up Conversations.--'Old School' +Ceremonies.--The Speculative Society.--A Brilliant Set.--Sydney's Opinion +of his Friends.--Holland House.--Preacher at the 'Foundling.'--Sydney's +'Grammar of Life.'--The Picture Mania.--A Living Comes at Last.--The +wit's Ministry.--The Parsonage House at Foston-le-Clay.--Country Quiet. +The Universal Scratcher.--Country Life and Country Prejudice.--The Genial +Magistrate.--Glimpse of Edinburgh Society.--Mrs. Grant of Laggan. A +Pension Difficulty.--Jeffrey and Cockburn.--Craigcrook.--Sydney Smith's +Cheerfulness.--His Rheumatic Armour.--No Bishopric.--Becomes Canon of St. +Paul's.--Anecdotes of Lord Dudley.--A Sharp Reproof.--Sydney's +Classification of Society.--Last Strokes of Humour. + + +Smith's reputation--to quote from Lord Cockburn's 'Memorial of +Edinburgh'--'here, then, was the same as it has been throughout his +life, that of a wise wit.' A wit he was, but we must deny him the +reputation of being a beau. For that, nature, no less than his holy +office, had disqualified him. Who that ever beheld him in a London +drawing-room, when he went to so many dinners that he used to say he was +a walking patty--who could ever miscall him a beau? How few years have +we numbered since one perceived the large bulky form in canonical +attire--the plain, heavy face, large, long, unredeemed by any +expression, except that of sound hard sense--and thought, 'can this be +the Wit?' How few years is it since Henry Cockburn, hating London, and +coming but rarely to what he called the 'devil's drawing room,' stood +near him, yet apart, for he was the most diffident of men; his wonderful +luminous eyes, his clear, almost youthful, vivid complexion, contrasting +brightly with the gray, pallid, prebendal complexion of Sydney? how +short a time since Francis Jeffery, the smallest of great men, a beau in +his old age, a wit to the last, stood hat in hand to bandy words with +Sydney ere he rushed off to some still gayer scene, some more +fashionable circle: yet they are all gone--gone from sight, living in +memory alone. + +Perhaps it was time: they might have lived, indeed, a few short years +longer; we might have heard their names amongst us; listened to their +voices; gazed upon the deep hazel, ever-sparkling eyes, that constituted +the charm of Cockburn's handsome face, and made all other faces seem +tame and dead: we might have marvelled at the ingenuity, the happy turns +of expression, the polite sarcasm of Jeffrey; we might have revelled in +Sydney Smith's immense natural gift of fun, and listened to the 'wise +wit,' regretting with Lord Cockburn, that so much worldly wisdom seemed +almost inappropriate in one who should have been in some freer sphere +than within the pale of holy orders: we might have done this, but the +picture might have been otherwise. Cockburn, whose intellect rose, and +became almost sublime, as his spirit neared death, might have sunk into +the depression of conscious weakness; Jeffery might have repeated +himself, or turned hypochondriacal; Sydney Smith have grown garrulous: +let us not grieve; they went in their prime of intellect, before one +quality of mind had been touched by the frostbite of age. + +Sydney Smith's life is a chronicle of literary society. He was born in +1771, and he died in 1845. What a succession of great men does that +period comprise! Scott, Jeffrey, Mackintosh, Dugald Stewart, Homer, +Brougham and Cockburn were his familiars--a constellation which has set, +we fear, for ever. Our world presents nothing like it: we must look +back, not around us, for strong minds, cultivated up to the nicest +point. Our age is too diffused, too practical for us to hope to witness +again so grand a spectacle. + +From his progenitors Sydney Smith inherited one of his best gifts, great +animal spirits--the only spirits one wants in this racking life of ours; +and his were transmitted to him by his father. That father, Mr. Robert +Smith, was odd as well as clever. His oddities seem to have been coupled +with folly but that of Sydney was soberized by thought, and swayed by +intense common sense. The father had a mania for buying and altering +places: one need hardly say that he spoiled them. Having done so, he +generally sold them; and _nineteen_ various places were thus the source +of expense to him, and of injury to the pecuniary interests of his +family. + +This strange spendthrift married a Miss Olier, a daughter of a French +emigrant, from Languedoc. Every one may remember the charming attributes +given by Miss Kavanagh, in her delicious tale, 'Nathalie,' to the French +women of the South. This Miss Olier seems to have realized all one's +ideas of the handsome, sweet-tempered, high-minded Southrons of _la +belle France_. To her Sydney Smith traced his native gaiety; her beauty +did not, certainly, pass to him as well as to some of her other +descendants. When Talleyrand was living in England as an emigrant, on +intimate terms with Robert Smith, Sydney's brother, or Bobus, as he was +called by his intimates, the conversation turned one day on hereditary +beauty. Bobus spoke of his mother's personal perfections: _'Ah, mon +ami,'_ cried Talleyrand, _c'était apparemment, monsieur: volre père qui +n'était pas bien.'_ + +This Bobus was the schoolfellow at Eton of Canning and Frere; and with +John Smith and those two youths, wrote the 'Microcosm.' Sydney, on the +other hand, was placed on the Foundation, at Winchester, which was then +a stern place of instruction for a gay, spirited, hungry boy. Courtenay, +his younger brother, went with him, but ran away twice. To owe one's +education to charity was, in those days, to be half starved. Never was +there enough, even of the coarsest food, to satisfy the boys, and the +urchins, fresh from home, were left to fare as they might. 'Neglect, +abuse, and vice were,' Sydney used to say, 'the pervading evils of +Winchester; and the system of teaching, if one may so call it, savoured +of the old monastic narrowness.... I believe, when a boy at school, I +made above ten thousand Latin verses, and no man in his senses would +dream of ever making another in after-life. So much for life and time +wasted.' The verse-inciting process is, nevertheless, remorselessly +carried on during three years more at Oxford and is much oftener the +test of patient stupidity than of aspiring talent, Yet of what +stupendous importance it is in the attainment of scholarships and +prizes; and how zealous, how tenacious, are dons and 'coaches' in +holding to that which far higher classics, the Germans, regard with +contempt! + +Sydney's proficiency promoted him to be captain of the school, and he +left Winchester for New College, Oxford---one of the noblest and most +abused institutions then of that grand university. Having obtained a +scholarship, as a matter of course, and afterwards a fellowship, he +remarked that the usual bumpers of port wine at college were as much the +order of the day among the Fellows as Latin verses among the +undergraduates. We may not, however, picture to ourselves Sydney as +partaking of the festivities of the common room; with more probability +let us imagine him wandering with steady gait, even _after_ Hall--a +thing not even then or now certain in colleges--in those evergreen, +leafy, varied gardens, flanked by that old St. Peter's church on the one +side, and guarded by the high wall, once a fortification, on the other. +He was poor, and therefore safe, for poverty is a guardian angel to an +undergraduate, and work may protect even the Fellow from utter +deterioration. + +He was turned out into the world by his father with his hundred a year +from the Fellowship, and never had a farthing from the old destroyer of +country-seats afterwards. He never owed a sixpence; nay, he paid a debt +of thirty pounds, which Courtenay, who had no _iron_ in his character, +had incurred at Winchester, and had not the courage to avow. The next +step was to choose a profession. The bar would have been Sydney's +choice; but the church was the choice of his father. It is the cheapest +channel by which a man may pass into genteel poverty; 'wit and +independence do not make bishops,' as Lord Cockburn remarks. We do not, +however, regard, as he does, Sydney Smith as 'lost' by being a +churchman. He was happy, and made others happy; he was good, and made +others good. Who can say the same of a successful barrister, or of a +popular orator? His first sphere was in a curacy on Salisbury Plain; one +of his earliest clerical duties was to marry his brother Robert (a +barrister) to Miss Vernon, aunt to Lord Lansdowne. 'All I can tell you +of the marriage,' Sydney wrote to his mother, 'is that he cried, she +cried, I cried.' It was celebrated in the library at Bowood, where +Sydney so often enchanted the captivating circle afterwards by his wit. + +Nothing could be more gloomy than the young pastor's life on Salisbury +Plain: 'the first and poorest pauper of the hamlet,' as he calls a +curate, he was seated down among a few scattered cottages on this vast +flat; visited even by the butcher's cart only once a week from +Salisbury; accosted by few human beings; shunned by all who loved social +life. But the probation was not long; and after being nearly destroyed +by a thunder-storm in one of his rambles, he quitted Salisbury Plain, +after two years, for a more genial scene. + +There was an hospitable squire, a Mr. Beach, living in Smith's parish; +the village of Netherhaven, near Amesbury. Mr. Beach had a son; the +quiet Sundays at the Hall were enlivened by the curate's company at +dinner, and Mr. Beach found his guest both amusing and sensible, and +begged him to become tutor to the young squire. Smith accepted; and went +away with his pupil, intending to visit Germany. The French Revolution +was, however, at its height. Germany was impracticable, and 'we were +driven,' Sydney wrote to his mother, 'by stress of politics, into +Edinburgh.' + +This accident,--this seeming accident,--was the foundation of Sydney +Smith's opportunities; not of his success, for that his own merits +procured, but of the direction to which his efforts were applied. He +would have been eminent, wherever destiny had led him; but he was thus +made to be useful in one especial manner; 'his lines had, indeed, fallen +in pleasant places.' + +Edinburgh, in 1797, was not, it is almost needless to say, the Edinburgh +of 1860. An ancient, picturesque, high-built looking city, with its +wynds and closes, it had far more the characteristics of an old French +_ville de province_ than of a northern capital. The foundation-stone of +the new College was laid in 1789, but the building was not finished +until more than forty years afterwards. The edifice then stood in the +midst of fields and gardens. 'Often.' writes Lord Cockburn, 'did we +stand to admire the blue and yellow crocuses rising through the clean +earth in the first days of spring, in the house of Doctor Monro (the +second), whose house stood in a small field entering from Nicolson +Street, within less than a hundred yards from the college.' + +The New Town was in progress when Sydney Smith and his pupil took refuge +in 'Auld Reekie.' With the rise of every street some fresh innovation in +manners seemed also to begin. Lord Cockburn, wedded as he was to his +beloved Reekie, yet unprejudiced and candid on all points, ascribes the +change in customs to the intercourse with the English, and seems to date +it from the Union. Thus the overflowing of the old town into fresh +spaces, 'implied,' as he remarks, 'a general alteration of our habits.' + +As the dwellers in the Faubourg St. Germain regard their neighbours +across the Seine, in the Faubourg St. Honoré, with disapproving eyes, so +the sojourners in the Canongate and the Cowgate considered that the +inundation of modern population vulgarized their 'prescriptive +gentilities.' Cockburn's description of a Scottish assembly in the olden +time is most interesting. + +'For example, Saint Cecilia's Hall was the only public resort of the +musical; and besides being our most selectly fashionable place of +amusement, was the best and most beautiful concert-room I have ever +seen. And there have I myself seen most of our literary and fashionable +gentlemen, predominating with their side curls and frills, and ruffles, +and silver buckles; and our stately matrons stiffened in hoops, and +gorgeous satin; and our beauties with high-heeled shoes, powdered and +pomatumed hair, and lofty and composite head-dresses. All this was in +the Cowgate; the last retreat now-a-days of destitution and disease. The +building still stands, through raised and changed. When I last saw it, +it seemed to be partly an old-clothesman's shop and partly a brazier's.' +Balls were held in the beautiful rooms of George Square, in spite of the +'New Town piece of presumption,' that is, an attempt to force the +fashionable dancers of the reel into the George Street apartments. + +'And here,' writes Lord Cockburn, looking back to the days when he was +that 'ne'er-do-weel' Harry Cockburn, 'were the last remains of the +ball-room discipline of the preceding age. Martinet dowagers and +venerable beaux acted as masters and mistresses of ceremonies, and made +all the preliminary arrangements. No couple could dance unless each +party was provided with a ticket prescribing the precise place, in the +precise dance. If there was no ticket, the gentleman or the lady was +dealt with as an intruder, and turned out of the dance. If the ticket +had marked upon it---say for a country-dance, the figures, 3, 5; this +meant that the holder was to place himself in the 3rd dance, and 5th +from the top; and if he was anywhere else, he was set right or excluded. +And the partner's ticket must correspond. Woe on the poor girl who with +ticket 2, 7, was found opposite a youth marked 5, 9! It was flirting +without a licence, and looked very ill, and would probably be reported +by the ticket director of that dance to the mother.' + +All this had passed away; and thus the aristocracy of a few individuals +was ended; and society, freed from some of its restraints, flourished in +another and more enlightened way than formerly. + +There were still a sufficient number of peculiarities to gratify one who +had an eye to the ludicrous. Sydney Smith soon discovered that it is a +work of time to impart a humorous idea to a true Scot. 'It requires,' he +used to say, 'a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch +understanding.' 'They are so embued with metaphysics, that they even +make love metaphysically. I overheard a young lady of my acquaintance, +at a dance in Edinburgh, exclaim in a sudden pause of the music, "What +you say, my Lord, is very true of love in the _abstract_, but,--" here +the fiddlers began fiddling furiously, and the rest was lost.' He was, +however, most deeply touched by the noble attribute of that nation which +retains what is so rare--the attribute of being true friends. He did +ample justice to their kindliness of heart. 'If you meet with an +accident,' he said, 'half Edinburgh immediately flocks to your doors to +inquire after your _pure_ hand, or your _pure_ foot.' 'Their temper,' he +observed, 'stands anything but an attack on their climate; even Jeffrey +cannot shake off the illusion that myrtles flourish at Craig Crook.' The +sharp reviewer stuck to his myrtle allusions, and treated Smith's +attempts with as much contempt as if he had been a 'wild visionary, who +had never breathed his caller air,' nor suffered under the rigours of +his climate, nor spent five years in 'discussing metaphysics and +medicine in that garret end of the earth,--that knuckle end of +England--that land of Calvin, oat-cakes, and sulphur,' as Smith termed +Scotland. + +During two years he braved the winters, in which he declared +hackney-coaches were drawn by four horses on account of the snow; where +men were blown flat down on the face by the winds; and where even +'experienced Scotch fowls did not dare to cross the streets, but sidled +along, tails aloft, without venturing to encounter the gale.' He +luxuriated, nevertheless, in the true Scotch supper, than which nothing +more pleasant and more unwholesome has ever been known in Christendom. +Edinburgh is said to have been the only place where people dined twice a +day. The writer of this memoir is old enough to remember the true +Scottish _Attic_ supper before its final 'fading into wine and water,' +as Lord Cockburn describes its decline. 'Suppers,' Cockburn truly says, +'are cheaper than dinners,' and Edinburgh, at that time, was the +cheapest place in Great Britain. Port and sherry were the staple wines: +claret, duty free in Scotland until 1780, was indeed beginning to be a +luxury; it was no longer the ordinary beverage, as it was when as +Mackenzie, the author of the 'Man of Feeling,' described--it used, upon +the arrival of a cargo, to be sent through the town on a cart with a +horse before it, so that every one might have a sample, by carrying a +jug to be filled for sixpence: still even at the end of the eighteenth +century it was in frequent use. Whisky toddy and plotty (red wine mulled +with spices) came into the supper-room in ancient flagons or _stoups_ +after a lengthy repast of broiled chickens, roasted moorfowl, pickled +mussels, flummery, and numerous other good things had been discussed by +a party who ate as if they had not dined that day. 'We will eat,' Lord +Cockburn used to say after a long walk, 'a profligate supper,'--a supper +without regard to discretion, or digestion; and he usually kept his +word. + +In Edinburgh, Sydney Smith formed the intimate acquaintance of Lord +Jeffrey, and that acquaintance ripened into a friendship only closed by +death. The friendship of worthy, sensible men he looked upon as one of +the greatest pleasures in life. + +The 'old suns,' Lord Cockburn tells us, 'were setting when the band of +great thinkers and great writers who afterwards concocted the "Edinburgh +Review," were rising into celebrity.' Principal Robertson, the +historian, had departed this life in 1793, a kindly old man. With +beaming eyes underneath his frizzed and curled wig, and a trumpet tied +with a black ribbon to the button-hole of his coat, for he was deaf, +this most excellent of writers showed how he could be also the most +zealous of diners. Old Adam Ferguson, the historian of Rome, had 'set,' +also: one of the finest specimens of humanity had gone from among his +people in him. Old people, not thirty years ago, delighted to tell you +how 'Adam,' when chaplain to the Black Watch, that glorious 42nd, +refused to retire to his proper place, the rear, during an action, but +persisted in being engaged in front. He was also gone; and Dugald +Stewart filled his vacant place in the professorship of moral +philosophy. Dr. Henry, the historian, was also at rest; after a long +laborious life, and the compilation of a dull, though admirable History +of England, the design of which, in making a chapter on arts, manners, +and literature separate from the narrative, appears to have suggested to +Macaulay his inimitable disquisition on the same topics. Dr. Henry +showed to a friend a pile of books which he had gone through, merely to +satisfy himself and the world as to what description of trousers was +worn by the Saxons. His death was calm as his life. 'Come out to me +directly,' he wrote to his friend, Sir Harry Moncrieff: 'I have got +something to do this week; I have got to die.' + +It was in 1801, that Dugald Stewart began his course of lectures on +political economy. Hitherto all public favour had been on the side of +the Tories, and independence of thought was a sure way to incur +discouragement from the Bench, in the Church, and from every Government +functionary. Lectures on political economy were regarded as innovations; +but they formed a forerunner of that event which had made several +important changes in our literary and political hemisphere: the +commencement of the 'Edinburgh Review.' This undertaking was the work of +men who were separated from the mass of their brother-townsmen by their +politics; their isolation as a class binding them the more closely +together by links never broken, in a brotherhood of hope and ambition, +to which the natural spirits of Sydney Smith, of Cockburn, and of +Jeffrey, gave an irresistible charm. + +Among those who the most early in life ended a career of promise was +Francis Horner. He was the son of a linen-draper in Edinburgh; or, as +the Scotch call it, following the French, a merchant. Homer's best linen +for sheets, and table-cloths, and all the _under garments_ of +housekeeping, are still highly esteemed by the trade. + +'My desire to know Horner,' Sydney Smith states, 'arose from my being +cautioned against him by some excellent and feeble-minded people to whom +I brought letters of introduction, and who represented him as a person +of violent political opinions.' Sydney Smith interpreted this to mean +that Horner was a man who thought for himself; who loved truth better +than he loved Dundas (Lord Melville), then the tyrant of Scotland. 'It +is very curious to consider,' Sydney Smith wrote, in addressing Lady +Holland, in 1817, 'in what manner Horner gained, in so extraordinary a +degree, the affections of such a number of persons of both sexes, all +ages, parties, and ranks in society; for he was not remarkably good +tempered, nor particularly lively and agreeable; and an inflexible +politician on the unpopular side. The causes are, his high character for +probity, honour, and talents; his fine countenance; the benevolent +interest he took in the concerns of all his friends; his simple and +gentlemanlike manners; his untimely death.' 'Grave, studious, +honourable, kind, everything Horner did,' says Lord Cockburn, 'was +marked by thoughtfulness and kindness;' a beautiful character, which was +exhibited but briefly to his contemporaries, but long remembered after +his death. + +Henry Brougham was another of the Edinburgh band of young spirits. He +was educated in the High School under Luke Fraser, the tutor who trained +Walter Scott and Francis Jeffrey. Brougham used to be pointed out 'as +the fellow who had beat the master.' He had dared to differ with Fraser, +a hot pedant, on some piece of Latinity. Fraser, irritated, punished the +rebel, and thought the matter ended. But the next day 'Harry,' as they +called him, appeared, loaded with books, renewed the charge, and forced +Luke to own that he was beaten. 'It was then,' says Lord Cockburn, 'that +I first saw him.' + +After remaining two years in Edinburgh, Sydney Smith went southwards to +marry a former schoolfellow of his sister Maria's--a Miss Pybus, to whom +he had been attached and engaged at a very early period of his life. The +young lady, who was of West Indian descent, had some fortune; but her +husband's only stock, on which to begin housekeeping, consisted of six +silver tea-spoons, worn away with use. One day he rushed into the room +and threw these attenuated articles into her lap--'There, Kate, I give +you all my fortune, you lucky girl!' + +With the small _dôt_, and the thin silver-spoons, the young couple set +up housekeeping in the 'garret end of the earth.' Their first difficulty +was to know how money could be obtained to begin with, for Mrs. Smith's +small fortune was settled on herself by her husband's wish. Two rows of +pearls had been given her by her thoughtful mother. These she converted +into money, and obtained for them £500. Several years afterwards, when +visiting the shop at which she sold them, with Miss Vernon and Miss Fox, +Mrs. Smith saw her pearls, every one of which she knew. She asked what +was the price. '£1,500,' was the reply. + +The sum, however, was all important to the thrifty couple. It distanced +the nightmare of the poor and honest,--debt. £750 was presented by Mr. +Beach, in gratitude for the care of his son, to Smith. It was invested +in the funds, and formed the nucleus of future savings,--'_Ce n'est que +le premier pas qui coûte_' is a trite saying. '_C'est le premier pas qui +gagne_, might be applied to this and similar cases. A little +daughter--Lady Holland, the wife of the celebrated physician, Sir Henry +Holland--was sent to bless the sensible pair. Sydney had wished that she +might be born with one eye, so that he might never lose her; +nevertheless, though she happened to be born with two, he bore her +secretly from the nursery, a few hours after her birth, to show her in +triumph to the future Edinburgh Reviewers. + +The birth of the 'Edinburgh Review' quickly followed that of the young +lady. Jeffrey,--then an almost starving barrister, living in the eighth +or ninth flat of a house in Buccleuch Place,--Brougham, and Sydney Smith +were the triumvirate who propounded the scheme, Smith being the first +mover. He proposed a motto: 'Tenui Musam meditanum avenir:' We cultivate +literature on a little oatmeal; but this being too near the truth, they +took their motto from Publius Syrus; 'of whom,' said Smith, 'none of us +had, I am sure, read a single line.' To this undertaking Sydney Smith +devoted his talents for more than twenty-eight years. + +Meantime, during the brief remainder of his stay in Edinburgh, his +circumstances improved. He had done that which most of the clergy are +obliged to do--taken a pupil. He had now another, the son of Mr. Gordon, +of Ellon; for each of these young men he received £400 a year. He became +to them a father and a friend; he entered into all their amusements. One +of them saying that he could not find conversation at the balls for his +partners, 'Never mind,' cried Sydney Smith, 'I'll fit you up in five +minutes.' Accordingly he wrote down conversations for them amid bursts +of laughter. + +Thus happily did years, which many persons would have termed a season of +adversity, pass away. The chance which brought him to Edinburgh +introduced him to a state of society never likely to be seen again in +Scotland. Lord Cockburn's 'Memorials' afford an insight into manners, +not only as regarded suppers, but on the still momentous point, of +dinners. Three o'clock was the fashionable hour, so late as the +commencement of the present century. That hour, 'not without groans and +predictions,' became four--and four was long and conscientiously adhered +to. 'Inch by inch,' people yielded, and five continued to be the +standard polite hour from 1806 to 1820. 'Six has at length prevailed.' + +The most punctilious ceremony existed. When dinner was announced, a file +of ladies went first in strict order of precedence. 'Mrs. Colonel Such +an One;' 'Mrs. Doctor Such an One,' and so on. Toasts were _de rigueur_: +no glass of wine was to be taken by a guest without comprehending a +lady, or a covey of ladies. 'I was present,' says Lord Cockburn, 'when +the late Duke of Buccleuch took a glass of sherry by himself at the +table of Charles Hope, then Lord Advocate, and this was noticed as a +piece of ducal contempt.' Toasts, and when the ladies had retired, +_rounds_ of toasts, were drunk. 'The prandial nuisance,' Lord Cockburn +wrote, 'was horrible. But it was nothing to what followed.' + +At these repasts, though less at these than at boisterous suppers, a +frequent visitor at the same table with Sydney Smith was the illustrious +Sir James Mackintosh, a man to whose deep-thinking mind the world is +every day rendering justice. The son of a brave officer, Mackintosh was +born on the banks of Loch Ness: his mother, a Miss Fraser, was aunt to +Mrs. Fraser Tytler, wife of Lord Woodhouselee, one of the judges of the +Court of Session and mother of the late historian of that honoured name. + +Mackintosh had been studying at Aberdeen, in the same classes with +Robert Hall, whose conversation, he avowed, had a great influence over +his mind. He arrived in Edinburgh about 1784, uncertain to what +profession to belong; somewhat anxious to be a bookseller, in order to +revel in 'the paradise of books;' he turned his attention, however, to +medicine, and became a Brunonian, that is, a disciple of John Brown, the +founder of a theory which he followed out to the extent in practice. The +main feature of the now defunct system, which set scientific Europe in a +blaze, seems to have been a mad indulgence of the passions; and an +unbridled use of intoxicating liquors. Brown fell a victim to his vices. +Years after he had been laid in his grave, his daughter, Euphemia, being +in great indigence, received real kindness from Sir James and Lady +Mackintosh, the former of whom used to delight in telling the story of +her father's saying to her: 'Effy, bring me the mooderate stimulus of a +hoonderd draps o' laudanum in a glass o' brandy.' + +Mackintosh had not quitted Edinburgh when Sydney Smith reached it. Smith +became a member of the famous Speculative Society. Their acquaintance +was renewed years afterwards in London. Who can ever forget the small, +quiet dinners given by Mackintosh when living out of Parliament, and out +of office in Cadogan Place? Simple but genial were those repasts, +forming a strong contrast to the Edinburgh dinners of yore. He had then +long given up both the theory and practice of the Brunonians, and took +nothing but light French and German wines, and these in moderation. His +tall, somewhat high-shouldered, massive form; his calm brow, mild, +thoughtful; his dignity of manner; his gentleness to all; his vast +knowledge; his wonderful appreciation of excellence; his discrimination +of faults--all combined to form one of the finest specimens ever seen, +even in that illustrious period, of a philosopher and historian. + +Jeffrey and Cockburn were contrasts to one whom they honoured. Jeffrey, +'the greatest of British critics,' was eight years younger than +Mackintosh, having been born in 1773. He was the son of one of the +depute clerks to the Supreme Court, not an elevated position, though one +of great respectability. When Mackintosh and Sydney Smith first knew him +in Edinburgh, he was enduring, with all the impatience of his sensitive +nature, what he called 'a slow, obscure, philosophical starvation' at +the Scotch bar. + +'There are moments,' he wrote, 'when I think I could sell myself to the +ministers or to the devil, in order to get above these necessities.' +Like all men so situated, his depression came in fits. Short, spare, +with regular, yet _not_ aristocratic features;--speaking, brilliant, yet +_not_ pleasing eyes;--a voice consistent with that _mignon_ form;--a +somewhat precise and anxious manner, there was never in Jeffrey that +charm, that _abandon_, which rendered his valued friend, Henry Cockburn, +the most delightful, the most beloved of men, the very idol of his +native city. + +The noble head of Cockburn, bald, almost in youth, with its pliant, +refined features, and its fresh tint upon a cheek always clear, +generally high in colour, was a strong contrast to the rigid _petitesse_ +of Jeffrey's physiognomy; much more so to the large proportions of +Mackintosh; or to the ponderous, plain, and, later in life, swarthy +countenance of Sydney Smith. Lord Webb Seymour, the brother of the late +Duke of Somerset, gentle, modest, intelligent,--Thomas Thomson, the +antiquary,--and Charles and George Bell, the surgeon and the advocate,-- +Murray, afterwards Lord Murray, the generous pleader, who gave up to its +rightful heirs an estate left him by a client,--and Brougham--formed the +staple of that set now long since extinct. + +It was partially broken up by Sydney Smith's coming, in 1803, to London. +He there took a house in Doughty Street, being partial to legal society, +which was chiefly to be found in that neighbourhood. + +Here Sir Samuel Romilly, Mackintosh, Scarlett (Lord Abinger), the +eccentric and unhappy Mr. Ward, afterwards Lord Dudley, 'Conversation' +Sharp, Rogers, and Luttrell, formed the circle in which Sidney +delighted. He was still very poor, and obliged to sell the rest of his +wife's jewels; but his brother Robert allowed him £100 a year, and lent +him, when he subsequently removed into Yorkshire, £500. + +He had now a life of struggling, but those struggles were the lot of his +early friends also; Mackintosh talked of going to India as a lecturer; +Smith recommended Jeffrey to do the same. Happily, both had the courage +and the sense to await for better times at home; yet Smith's opinion of +Mackintosh was, that 'he never saw so theoretical a head which contained +so much practical understanding;' and to Jeffrey he wrote: + +'You want nothing to be a great lawyer, and nothing to be a great +speaker, but a deeper voice--slower and more simple utterance--more +humility of face and neck--and a greater contempt for _esprit_ than men +_who have so much_ in general attain to.' + +The great event of Sydney Smith's first residence in London was his +introduction at Holland House; in that 'gilded room which furnished,' as +he said, 'the best and most agreeable society in the world,' his +happiest hours were passed. John Allen, whom Smith had introduced to +Lord Holland was the peer's librarian and friend. Mackintosh, who Sydney +Smith thought only wanted a few bad qualities to get on in the world, +Rogers, Luttrell, Sheridan, Byron, were among the 'suns' that shone, +where Addison had suffered and studied. + +Between Lord Holland and Sydney Smith the most cordial friendship +existed; and the eccentric and fascinating Lady Holland was his constant +correspondent. Of this able woman, it was said by Talleyrand: '_Elle est +toute assertion; mais quand on demande la preuve c'est là son sécret_' +Of Lord Holland, the keen diplomatist observed: '_Cest la bienveillance +même, mais la bienveillance la plus perturbatrice, qu'on ait jamais +vue._' + +Lord Holland did not commit the error ascribed by Rogers, in his +Recollections, to Marlay, Bishop of Waterford, who when poor, with an +income of only £400 a year, used to give the best dinners possible; but, +when made a bishop, enlarged his table, and lost his fame-had no more +good company--there was an end of his enjoyment: he had lords and ladies +to his table--foolish people--foolish men--and foolish women--and there +was an end of him and us. 'Lord Holland selected his lords and ladies, +not for their rank, but for their peculiar merits or acquirements.' Then +even Lady Holland's oddities were amusing. When she wanted to get rid of +a fop, she used to say: 'I beg your pardon, but I wish you would sit a +little farther off; there is something on your handkerchief which I +don't quite like.' Or when a poor man happened to stand, after the +fashion of the lords of creation, with his back close to the +chimney-piece, she would cry out, 'Have the goodness, sir, to stir the +fire.' + +Lord Holland never asked any one to dinner, ('not even _me_,' says +Rogers, 'whom he had known so long,') without asking Lady Holland. One +day, shortly before his lordship's death, Rogers was coming out from +Holland House when he met him. 'Well, do you return to dinner?' I +answered. 'No, I have not been invited.' The precaution, in fact, was +necessary, for Lord Holland was so good-natured and hospitable that he +would have had a crowd daily at his table had he been left to himself. + +The death of Lord Holland completely broke up the unrivalled dinners, +and the subsequent evenings in the 'gilded chamber.' Lady Holland, to +whom Holland House was left for her life-time, declined to live there. +With Holland House, the mingling of aristocracy with talent; the +blending ranks by force of intellect; the assembling not only of all the +celebrity that Europe could boast, but of all that could enhance private +enjoyment, had ceased. London, the most intelligent of capitals, +possesses not one single great house in which pomp and wealth are made +subsidiary to the true luxury of intellectual conversation. + +On the morning of the day when Lord Holland's last illness began, these +lines were written by him, and found after his death on his +dressing-table:-- + + 'Nephew of Fox, and Friend of Grey, + Sufficient for my fame, + If those who know me best shall say + I tarnished neither name.' + +Of him his best friend, Sydney Smith, left a short but discriminative +character. 'There was never (amongst other things he says) a better +heart, or one more purified from all the bad passions--more abounding in +charity and compassion--or which seemed to be so created as a refuge to +the helpless and oppressed.' + +Meantime Sydney Smith's circumstances were still limited; £50 a year as +evening preacher to the Foundling Hospital was esteemed as a great help +by him. The writer of this memoir remembers an amusing anecdote related +of him at the table of an eminent literary character by a member of Lord +Woodhouselee's family, who had been desirous to obtain for Sydney the +patronage of the godly. To this end she persuaded Robert Grant and +Charles Grant (afterwards Lord Glenelg) to go to the Foundling to hear +him, she hoped to advantage; to her consternation he broke forth into so +familiar a strain, couched in terms so bordering on the jocose,--though +no one had deeper religious convictions than he had,--that the two +saintly brothers listened in disgust. They forgot how South let loose +the powers of his wit and sarcasm; and how the lofty-minded Jeremy +Taylor applied the force of humour to lighten the prolixity of argument. +Sydney Smith became, nevertheless, a most popular preacher; but the man +who prevents people from sleeping once a week in their pews is sure to +be criticised. + +Let us turn to him, however, as a member of society. His circle of +acquaintance was enlarged, not only by his visits to Holland House, but +by his lectures on moral philosophy at the Royal Institution. Sir Robert +Peel, not the most impressionable of men, but one whose cold shake of +the hand is said--as Sydney Smith said of Sir James Mackintosh--'to have +come under the genus _Mortmain_' was a very young man at the time when +Albemarle Street was crowded with carriages from one end of the street +to the other, in consequence of Sydney Smith's lectures; yet he declared +that he had never forgotten the effect given to the speech of Logan, the +Indian chief, by Sydney's voice and manner. + +His lectures produced a sum sufficient for Sydney to furnish a house in +Orchard Street. Doughty Street--raised to celebrity as having been the +residence, not only of Sydney Smith, but of Charles Dickens--was too far +for the _habitué_ of Holland House and the orator of Albemarle Street +long to sojourn there. In Orchard Street, Sydney enjoyed that domestic +comfort which he called 'the grammar of life;' delightful suppers, to +about twenty or thirty persons, who came and went as they pleased. A +great part of the same amusing and gifted set used to meet once a week +also at Sir James Mackintosh's, at a supper, which, though not exactly +Cowper's 'radish and an egg,' was simple, but plentiful--yet most +eagerly sought after. 'There are a few living,' writes Sydney Smith's +daughter, 'who can look back to them, and I have always found them do so +with a sigh of regret.' + +One night, a country cousin of Sydney Smith's was present at a supper. +'Now, Sydney,' whispered the simple girl, 'I know all these are very +remarkable people; do tell me who they are.'--'Oh, yes; there's +Hannibal,' pointing to a grave, dry, stern man, Mr. Whishaw; 'he lost +his leg in the Carthagenian war: there's Socrates,' pointing to +Luttrell: 'that,' he added, turning to Horner, 'is Solon.' + +Another evening, Mackintosh brought a raw Scotch cousin--an ensign in a +Highland regiment--with him. The young man's head could carry no idea of +glory except in regimentals. Suddenly, nudging Sir James, he whispered, +'Is that the great Sir Sydney Smith?'--'Yes, yes,' answered Sir James; +and instantly telling Sydney who he was supposed to be, the grave +evening preacher at the Foundling immediately assumed the character +ascribed to him, and acted the hero of Acre to perfection, fighting his +battles over again--even charging the Turks--whilst the young Scot was +so enchanted by the great Sir Sydney's condescension, that he wanted to +fetch the pipers of his regiment, and pipe to the great Sir Sydney, who +had never enjoyed the agonizing strains of the bagpipe. Upon this the +party broke up, and Sir James carried the Highlander off, lest he should +find out his mistake, and cut his throat from shame and vexation. One +may readily conceive Sydney Smith's enjoying this joke, for his spirits +were those of a boy: his gaiety was irresistible; his ringing laugh, +infectious; but it is difficult for those who knew Mackintosh in his +later years--the quiet, almost pensive invalid to realize in that +remembrance any trace of the Mackintosh of Doughty Street and Orchard +Street days. + +One day Sydney Smith came home with two hackney coaches full of +pictures, which he had picked up at an auction. His daughter thus tells +the story: 'Another day he came home with two hackney-coach loads of +pictures, which he had met with at an auction, having found it +impossible to resist so many yards of brown-looking figures and faded +landscapes going for "absolutely nothing, unheard of sacrifices." "Kate" +hardly knew whether to laugh or cry when she saw these horribly +dingy-looking objects enter her pretty little drawing-room, and looked +at him as if she thought him half mad; and half mad he was, but with +delight at his purchase. He kept walking up and down the room, waving +his arms, putting them in fresh lights, declaring they were exquisite +specimens of art, and if not by the very best masters, merited to be so. +He invited his friends, and displayed his pictures; discovered fresh +beauties for each new comer; and for three or four days, under the magic +influence of his wit and imagination, these gloomy old pictures were a +perpetual source of amusement and fun.' + +At last, finding that he was considered no authority for the fine arts, +off went the pictures to another auction, but all re-christened by +himself, with unheard-of names. 'One, I remember,' says Lady Holland, +'was a beautiful landscape, by Nicholas de Falda, a pupil of Valdezzio, +the only painting by that eminent artist. The pictures sold, I believe, +for rather less than he gave for them under their original names, which +were probably as real as their assumed ones.' + +Sydney Smith had long been styled by his friends the 'Bishop of +Mickleham,' in allusion to his visits to, and influence in, the house of +his friend, Richard Sharp, who had a cottage at that place. A piece of +real preferment was now his. This was the living of Foston-le-Clay, in +Yorkshire, given him by Lord Erskine, then Chancellor. Lady Holland +never rested till she had prevailed on Erskine to give Sydney Smith a +living. Smith, as Rogers relates, went to thank his lordship. 'Oh,' said +Erskine, 'don't thank me, Mr. Smith; I gave you the living because Lady +Holland insisted on my doing so; and if she had desired me to give it to +the devil, _he_ must have had it.' + +Notwithstanding the prediction of the saints, Sydney Smith proved an +excellent parish priest. Even his most admiring friends did not expect +this result. The general impression was, that he was infinitely better +fitted for the bar than for the church. 'Ah! Mr. Smith,' Lord Stowell +used to say to him, 'you would be in a far better situation, and a far +richer man, had you belonged to us.' + +One _jeu d'esprit_ more, and Smith hastened to take possession of his +living, and to enter upon duties of which no one better knew the mighty +importance than he did. + +Among the Mackintosh set was Richard Sharp, to whom we have already +referred, termed, from his great knowledge and ready memory, +'Conversation Sharp.' Many people may think that this did not imply an +agreeable man, and they were, perhaps, right. Sharp was a plain, +ungainly man. One evening, a literary lady, now living, being at Sir +James Mackintosh's, in company with Sharp, Sismondi, and the late Lord +Denman, then a man of middle age. Sir James was not only particularly +partial to Denman, but admired him personally. 'Do you not think Denman +handsome?' he inquired of the lady after the guests were gone. 'No? Then +you must think Mr. Sharp handsome,' he rejoined; meaning that a taste so +perverted as not to admire Denman must be smitten with Sharp. Sharp is +said to have studied all the morning before he went out to dinner, to +get up his wit and anecdote, as an actor does his part. Sydney Smith +having one day received an invitation from him to dine at Fishmongers' +Hall, sent the following reply:-- + + 'Much do I love + The monsters of the deep to eat; + To see the rosy salmon lying, + By smelts encircled, born for frying; + And from the china boat to pour + On flaky cod the flavoured shower. + Thee above all, I much regard, + Flatter than Longman's flattest bard, + Much-honour'd turbot! sore I grieve + Thee and thy dainty friends to leave. + Far from ye all, in snuggest corner, + I go to dine with little Horner; + He who with philosophic eye + Sat brooding o'er his Christmas pie; + Then firm resolved, with either thumb, + Tore forth the crust-enveloped plum; + And mad with youthful dreams of deathless fame, + Proclaimed the deathless glories of his name.' + +One word before we enter on the subject of Sydney Smith's ministry. In +this biography of a great Wit, we touch but lightly upon the graver +features of his character, yet they cannot wholly be passed over. Stanch +in his devotion to the Church of England, he was liberal to others. The +world in the present day is afraid of liberality. Let it not be +forgotten that it has been the fanatic and the intolerant, not the mild +and practical, among us who have gone from the Protestant to the Romish +faith. Sydney Smith, in common with other great men, had no predilection +for dealing damnation round the land. How noble, how true, are +Mackintosh's reflections on religious sects! 'It is impossible, I think, +to look into the interior of any religious sect, without thinking better +of it. I ought, indeed, to confine myself to those of Christian Europe, +but with that limitation it seems to me the remark is true; whether I +look at the Jansenists of Port Royal, or the Quakers in Clarkson, or the +Methodists in these journals. All these sects, which appear dangerous or +ridiculous at a distance, assume a much more amicable character on +nearer inspection. They all inculcate pure virtue, and practise mutual +kindness; and they exert great force of reason in rescuing their +doctrines from the absurd or pernicious consequences which naturally +flow from them. Much of this arises from the general nature of religious +principle--much also from the genius of the Gospel.' + +Nothing could present a greater contrast with the comforts of Orchard +Street than the place on which Sydney Smith's 'lines' had now 'fallen.' +Owing to the non-residence of the clergy, one-third of the parsonage +houses in England had fallen into decay, but that of Foston-le-Clay was +pre-eminently wretched. A hovel represented what was still called the +parsonage-house: it stood on a glebe of three hundred acres of the +stiffest clay in Yorkshire: a brick-floored kitchen, with a room above +it, both in a ruinous condition was the residence which, for a hundred +and fifty years, had never been inhabited by an incumbent. It will not +be a matter of surprise that for some time, until 1808, Sydney Smith, +with the permission of the Archbishop of York, continued to reside in +London, after having appointed a curate at Foston-le-Clay. + +The first visit to his living was by no means promising. Picture to +yourself, my reader, Sydney Smith in a carriage, in his superfine black +coat, driving into the remote village, and parleying with the old parish +clerk, who after some conversation, observed, emphatically, shaking his +stick on the ground, 'Master Smith, it stroikes me that people as comes +froe London is such _fools_.--'I see _you_ are no fool,' was the prompt +answer; and the parson and the clerk parted mutually satisfied. + +The profits, arising from the sale of two volumes of sermons, carried +Sydney Smith, his family, and his furniture, to Foston-le-Clay in the +summer of 1809, and he took up his abode in a pleasant house about two +miles from York, at Heslington. + +[Illustration: SYDNEY SMITH'S WITTY ANSWER TO THE OLD PARISH CLERK.] + +Let us now, for a time, forget the wit, the editor of the 'Edinburgh +Review,' the diner out, the evening preacher at the Foundling, and +glance at the peaceful and useful life of a country clergyman. His +spirits, his wit, all his social qualities, never deserted Sydney Smith, +even in the retreat to which he was destined. Let us see him driving in +his second-hand carriage, his horse, 'Peter the Cruel,' with Mrs. Smith +by his side, summer and winter, from Heslington to Foston-le-Clay. Mrs. +Smith, at first, trembled at the inexperience of her charioteer; but +'she soon,' said Sydney, 'raised my wages, and considered me an +excellent Jehu.' 'Mr. Brown,' said Sydney to one of the tradesmen of +York, through the streets of which he found it difficult to drive, 'your +streets are the narrowest, in Europe,'--'Narrow, sir? there's plenty of +room for two carriages to pass each other, and an inch and a half to +spare!' + +Let us see him in his busy peaceful life, digging an hour or two every +day in his garden to avoid sudden death, by preventing corpulency; then +galloping through a book, and when his family laughed at him for so soon +dismissing a quarto, saying, 'Cross-examine me, then,' and going well +through the ordeal. Hear him, after finishing his morning's writing, +saying to his wife, 'There, Kate, it's done: do look over it; put the +dots to the i's, and cross the t's:' and off he went to his walk, +surrounded by his children, who were his companions and confidants. See +him in the lane, talking to an old woman whom he had taken into his gig +as she was returning from market, and picking up all sorts of knowledge +from her; or administering medicine to the poor, or to his horses and +animals, sometimes committing mistakes next to fatal. One day he +declared he found all his pigs intoxicated, grunting 'God save the King' +about the sty. He nearly poisoned his red cow by an over-dose of +castor-oil; and Peter the Cruel, so called because the groom once said +he had a cruel face, took two boxes of opium pills (boxes and all) in +his mash, without ill consequences. + +See him, too, rushing out after dinner--for he had a horror of long +sittings after that meal--to look at his 'scratcher.' + +He used to say, Lady Holland (his daughter) relates, 'I am all for cheap +luxuries, even for animals; now all animals have a passion for +scratching their backbones; they break down your gates and palings to +effect this. Look! there is my universal scratcher, a sharp-edged pole, +resting on a high and a low post, adapted to every height, from a horse +to a lamb. Even the Edinburgh Reviewer can take his turn: you have no +idea how popular it is; I have not had a gate broken since I put it up; +I have it in all my fields.' + +Then his experiments were numerous. Mutton fat was to be burned instead +of candles; and working-people were brought in and fed with broth, or +with rice, or with porridge, to see which was the most satisfying diet. +Economy was made amusing, benevolence almost absurd, but the humorous +man, the kind man, shone forth in all things. He was one of the first, +if not the first, who introduced allotment-gardens for the poor: he was +one who could truly say at the last, when he had lived sixty-six years, +'I have done but very little harm in the world, and I have brought up my +family.' + +We have taken a glimpse--and a glimpse merely--of the 'wise Wit' in +London, among congenial society, where every intellectual power was +daily called forth in combative force. See him now in the provincial +circles of the remote county of York. 'Did you ever,' he once asked, +'dine out in the country? What misery do human beings inflict on each +other under the name of pleasure!' Then he describes driving in a +broiling sun through a dusty road, to eat a haunch of venison at the +house of a neighbouring parson. Assembled in a small house, 'redolent of +frying,' talked of roads, weather, and turnips; began, that done, to be +hungry. A stripling, caught up for the occasion, calls the master of the +house out of the room, and announces that the cook has mistaken the soup +for dirty water, and has thrown it away. No help for it--agreed; they +must do without it; perhaps as well they should. Dinner announced; they +enter the dining-room: heavens! what a gale! the venison is high! + +Various other adverse incidents occur, and the party return home, +grateful to the post-boys for not being drunk, and thankful to +Providence for not being thrown into a wet ditch. + +In addition to these troubles and risks, there was an enemy at hand to +apprehend--prejudice. The Squire of Heslington--'the last of the +Squires'--regarded Mr. Smith as a Jacobin; and his lady, 'who looked as +if she had walked straight out of the Ark, or had been the wife of +Enoch,' used to turn aside as he passed. When, however, the squire found +'the peace of the village undisturbed, harvests as usual, his dogs +uninjured, he first bowed, then called, and ended by a pitch of +confidence;' actually discovered that Sydney Smith had made a joke; +nearly went into convulsions of laughter, and finished by inviting the +'dangerous fellow,' as he had once thought him, to see his dogs. + +In 1813 Sydney Smith removed, as he thought it his duty to do, to +Foston-le-Clay, and, 'not knowing a turnip from a carrot,' began to farm +three hundred acres, and not having any money, to build a +parsonage-house. + +It was a model parsonage, he thought, the plan being formed by himself +and 'Kate.' Being advised by his neighbours to purchase oxen, he bought +(and christened) four oxen, 'Tug and Lug,' 'Crawl and Haul.' But Tug and +Lug took to fainting, Haul and Crawl to lie down in the mud, so he was +compelled to sell them, and to purchase a team of horses. + +The house plunged him into debt for twenty years; and a man-servant +being too expensive, the 'wise Wit' caught up a country girl, made like +a mile-stone, and christened her 'Bunch,' and Bunch became the best +butler in the county. + +He next set up a carriage, which he christened the 'Immortal,' for it +grew, from being only an ancient green chariot, supposed to have been +the earliest invention of the kind, to be known by all the neighbours; +the village dogs barked at it, the village boys cheered it, and 'we had +no false shame.' + +One could linger over the annals of Sydney Smith's useful, happy life at +Foston-le-Clay, visited there indeed by Mackintosh, and each day +achieving a higher and higher reputation in literature. We see him as a +magistrate, 'no friend to game,' as a country squire in Suffolk solemnly +said of a neighbour, but a friend to man; with a pitying heart, that +forbade him to commit young delinquents to gaol, though he would lecture +them severely, and call out, in bad cases, 'John, bring me out my +_private gallows_,' which brought the poor boys on their knees. We +behold him making visits, and even tours, in the 'Immortal,' and +receiving Lord and Lady Carlisle in their coach and four, which had +stuck in the middle of a ploughed field, there being scarcely any road, +only a lane up to the house. Behold him receiving his poor friend, +Francis Homer, who came to take his last leave of him, and died at Pisa, +in 1817, after earning honours, paid, as Sir James Mackintosh remarked, +to intrinsic claims alone--'a man of obscure birth, who never filled an +office.' See Sydney Smith, in 1816, from the failure of the harvest (he +who was in London 'a walking patty'), sitting down with his family to +repast without bread, thin, unleavened cakes being the substitute. See +his cheerfulness, his submission to many privations: picture him to +ourselves trying to ride, but falling off incessantly; but obliged to +leave off riding 'for the good of his family, and the peace of his +parish' (he had christened his horse, 'Calamity'). See him suddenly +prostrate from that steed in the midst of the streets of York, 'to the +great joy of Dissenters,' he declares: another time flung as if he had +been a shuttlecock, into a neighbouring parish, very glad that it was +not a neighbouring planet, for somehow or other his horse and he had a +'trick of parting company.' 'I used,' he wrote, 'to think a fall from a +horse dangerous, but much experience has convinced me to the contrary. I +have had six falls in two years, and just behaved like the Three per +Cents., when they fell--I got up again, and am not a bit the worse for +it, any more than the stock in question.' + +This country life was varied by many visits. In 1820 he went to visit +Lord Grey, then to Edinburgh, to Jeffrey travelling by the coach, a +gentleman, with whom he had been talking, said, 'There is a very clever +fellow lives near here, Sydney Smith, I believe; a devilish odd +fellow.'--'He may be an odd fellow,' cried Sydney, taking off his hat, +'but here he is, odd as he is, at your service.' + +Sydney Smith found great changes in Edinburgh--changes, however, in many +respects for the better. The society of Edinburgh was then in its +greatest perfection. 'Its brilliancy, Lord Cockburn remarks, 'was owing +to a variety of peculiar circumstances, which only operated during this +period. The principal of these were the survivance of several of the +eminent men of the preceding age, and of curious old habits, which the +modern flood had not yet obliterated; the rise of a powerful community +of young men of ability; the exclusion of the British from the +Continent, which made this place, both for education and for residence, +a favourite resort of strangers; the war, which maintained a constant +excitement of military preparation and of military idleness: the blaze +of that popular literature which made this the second city in the empire +for learning and science; and the extent and the ease with which +literature and society embellished each other, without rivalry, and +without pedantry. + +Among the 'best young' as his lordship styles them, were Lord Webb +Seymour and Francis Horner; whilst those of the 'interesting old' most +noted were Elizabeth Hamilton and Mrs. Grant of Laggan, who had +'unfolded herself,' to borrow Lord Cockburn's words, in the 'Letters +from the Mountains,' 'an interesting treasury of good solitary +thoughts.' Of these two ladies, Lord Cockburn says, 'They were excellent +women, and not _too_ blue. Their sense covered the colour.' It was to +Mrs. Hamilton that Jeffrey said, 'That there was no objection to the +blue stocking, provided the petticoat came low enough to cover it.' +Neither of these ladies possessed personal attractions. Mrs. Hamilton +had the plain face proper to literary women; Mrs. Grant was a tall dark +woman, with much dignity of manner: in spite of her life of misfortune, +she had a great flow of spirits. Beautifully, indeed, does Lord Cockburn +render justice to her character: 'She was always under the influence of +an affectionate and delightful enthusiasm, which, unquenched by time and +sorrow, survived the wreck of many domestic attachments, and shed a glow +over the close of a very protracted life.' + +Both she and Mrs. Hamilton succeeded in drawing to their +_conversazioni_, in small rooms of unpretending style, men of the +highest order, as well as attractive women of intelligence. Society in +Edinburgh took the form of Parisian _soirées_, and although much divided +into parties, was sufficiently general to be varied. It is amusing to +find that Mrs. Grant was at one time one of the supposed 'Authors of +"Waverley,"' until the disclosure of the mystery silenced reports. It +was the popularity of 'Marmion,' that made Scott, as he himself +confesses, nearly lose his footing. Mrs. Grant's observation on him, +after meeting the Great Unknown at some brilliant party, has been +allowed, even by the sarcastic Lockhart, to be 'witty enough.' 'Mr. +Scott always seems to me to be like a glass, through which the rays of +admiration pass without sensibly affecting it; but the bit of paper[13] +that lies beside it will presently be in a blaze--and no wonder.' + +[13: Alluding to Lady Scott.] + +Scott endeavoured to secure Mrs. Grant a pension; merited as he +observes, by her as an authoress, 'but much more,' in his opinion, 'by +the firmness and elasticity of mind with which she had borne a great +succession of domestic calamities.' 'Unhappily,' he adds, 'there was +only about £100 open on the Pension List, and this the minister assigned +in equal portions to Mrs. G---- and a distressed lady, grand-daughter of +a forfeited Scottish nobleman. Mrs. G---- , proud as a Highlandwoman, +vain as a poetess, and absurd as a blue-stocking, has taken this +partition in _malam partem_, and written to Lord Melville about her +merits, and that her friends do not consider her claims as being fairly +canvassed, with something like a demand that her petition be submitted +to the king. This is not the way to make her _plack_ a _bawbee_, and +Lord M---- , a little _miffed_ in turn, sends the whole correspondence +to me to know whether Mrs. G---- will accept the £50 or not + +Now, hating to deal with ladies when they are in an unreasonable humour, +I have got the good-humoured Man of Feeling to find out the lady's mind, +and I take on myself the task of making her peace with Lord M---- . +After all, the poor lady is greatly to be pitied:--her sole remaining +daughter deep and far gone in a decline.' + +The Man of Feeling proved successful, and reported soon afterwards that +the 'dirty pudding' was eaten by the almost destitute authoress. Scott's +tone in the letters which refer to this subject does little credit to +his good taste and delicacy of feeling, which were really attributable +to his character. + +Very few notices occur of any intercourse between Scott and Sydney Smith +in Lockhart's 'Life,' It was not, indeed, until 1827 that Scott could be +sufficiently cooled down from the ferment of politics which had been +going on to meet Jeffrey and Cockburn. When he dined, however, with +Murray, then Lord Advocate, and met Jeffrey, Cockburn, the late Lord +Rutherford, then Mr. Rutherford, and others of 'that file,' he +pronounced the party to be 'very pleasant, capital good cheer, and +excellent wine, much laugh and fun. I do not know,' he writes, 'how it +is, but when I am out with a party of my Opposition friends, the day is +often merrier than when with our own set. It is because they are +cleverer? Jeffery and Harry Cockburn are, to be sure, very extraordinary +men, yet it is not owing to that entirely. I believe both parties meet +with the feeling of something like novelty. We have not worn out our +jests in daily contact. There is also a disposition on such occasions to +be courteous, and of course to be pleased.' + +On his side, Cockburn did ample justice to the 'genius who,' to use his +own words, 'has immortalized Edinburgh and delighted the 'world.' Mrs. +Scott could not, however, recover the smarting inflicted by the +critiques of Jeffrey on her husband's works. Her--'And I hope, Mr. +Jeffrey, Mr. Constable paid you well for your Article' (Jeffrey dining +with her that day), had a depth of simple satire in it that ever, an +Edinburgh Reviewer could hardly exceed. It was, one must add, +impertinent and in bad taste. 'You are very good at cutting up.' + +Sydney Smith found Jeffrey and Cockburn rising barristers. Horner, on +leaving Edinburgh, had left to Jeffrey his bar wig, and the bequest had +been lucky. Jeffrey was settled at Craigcrook, a lovely English-looking +spot, with wooded slopes and green glades, near Edinburgh; and Cockburn +had, since 1811, set up his rural gods at Bonally, near Colinton, just +under the Pentland Hills, and he wrote, 'Unless some avenging angel +shall expel me, I shall never leave that paradise.' And a paradise it +was. Beneath those rough, bare hills, broken here and there by a +trickling burn, like a silver thread on the brown sward, stands a Norman +tower, the addition, by Playfair's skill, to what was once a scarcely +habitable farmhouse. That tower contained Lord Cockburn's fine library, +also his ordinary sitting-rooms. There he read and wrote, and received +such society as will never meet again, there or elsewhere--amongst them +Sydney Smith. Beneath--around the tower--stretches a delicious garden, +composed of terraces, and laurel-hedged walks, and beds of flowers, that +bloomed freely in that sheltered spot. A bowling-green, shaded by one of +the few trees near the house, a sycamore, was the care of many an hour; +for to make the turf velvety, the sods were fetched from the hills +above--from 'yon hills,' as Lord Cockburn would have called them. And +this was for many years one of the rallying points of the best Scottish +society, and, as each autumn came round, of what the host called his +Carnival. Friends were summoned from the north and the south--'death no +apology.' High jinks within doors, excursions without. Every Edinburgh +man reveres the spot, hallowed by the remembrance of Lord Cockburn. +'Every thing except the two burns, he wrote, 'the few old trees, and the +mountains, are my own work. Human nature is incapable of enjoying more +happiness than has been my lot here. I have been too happy, and often +tremble in the anticipation that the cloud must come at last.' And come +it did; but found him not unprepared, although the burden that he had to +bear in after-life was heavy. In their enlarged and philosophic minds, +in their rapid transition from sense to nonsense, there was an affinity +in the characters of Sydney Smith and of Lord Cockburn which was not +carried out in any other point. Smith's conversation was wit--Lord +Cockburn's was eloquence. + +From the festivities of Edinburgh Sydney Smith returned contentedly to +Foston-le-Clay, and to Bunch. Amongst other gifted visitors was Mrs. +Marcet. 'Come here, Bunch,' cries Sydney Smith one day; 'come and repeat +your crimes to Mrs. Marcet.' Then Bunch, grave as a judge, began to +repeat: 'Plate-snatching, gravy-spilling, door-slamming, blue-bottle- +fly-catching, and curtsey-bobbing. 'Blue-bottle-fly-catching,' means +standing with her mouth open, and not attending; and 'curtsey-bobbing' +was curtseying to the centre of the earth. + +One night, in the winter, during a tremendous snowstorm, Bunch rushed +in, exclaiming, 'Lord and Lady Mackincrush is com'd in a coach and +four.' The lord and lady proved to be Sir James and his daughter, who +had arrived to stay with his friends in the remote parsonage of +Foston-le-Clay a few days, and had sent a letter, which arrived the day +afterwards to announce their visit. Their stay began with a blunder; and +when Sir James departed, leaving kind feelings behind him--books, his +hat, his gloves, his papers and other articles of apparel were found +also. 'What a man that would be,' said Sydney Smith, 'had he one +particle of gall, or the least knowledge of the value of red tape!' It +was true that the indolent, desultory character of Mackintosh interfered +perpetually with his progress in the world. He loved far better to lie +on the sofa reading a novel than to attend a Privy Council; the +slightest indisposition was made on his part a plea for avoiding the +most important business. + +Sydney Smith had said that 'when a clever man takes to cultivating +turnips and retiring, it is generally an imposture;' but in him the +retirement was no imposture. His wisdom shone forth daily in small and +great matters. 'Life,' he justly thought, 'was to be fortified by many +friendships,' and he acted up to his principles, and kept up friendships +by letters. Cheerfulness he thought might be cultivated by making the +rooms one lives in as comfortable as possible. His own drawing-room was +papered on this principle, with a yellow flowering pattern; and filled +with 'irregular regularities;' his fires were blown into brightness by +_Shadrachs_, as he called them--tubes furnished with air opening in the +centre of each fire, His library contained his rheumatic armour: for he +tried heat and compression in rheumatism; put his legs into narrow +buckets, which he called his jack-boots; wore round his throat a tin +collar; over each shoulder he had a large tin thing like a shoulder of +mutton; and on his head he displayed a hollow helmet filled with hot +water. In the middle of a field into which his windows looked, was a +skeleton sort of a machine, his Universal Scratcher; with which every +animal from a lamb to a bullock could scratch itself. Then on the Sunday +the Immortal was called into use, to travel in state to a church like a +barn; about fifty people in it; but the most original idea was farming +through the medium of a tremendous speaking-trumpet from his own door, +with its companion, a telescope, to see what his people are about! On +the 24th of January, 1828, the first notable piece of preferment was +conferred on him by Lord Lyndhurst then Chancellor, and of widely +differing political opinions to Sydney Smith. This was a vacant stall in +the cathedral at Bristol, where on the ensuing 5th of November, the new +canon gave the Mayor and Corporation of that Protestant city such a dose +of 'toleration as should last them many a year.' He went to Court on his +appointment, and appeared in shoestrings instead of buckles. 'I found,' +he relates, 'to my surprise, people looking down at my feet: I could not +think what they were at. At first I thought they had discovered the +beauty of my legs; but at last the truth burst on me, by some wag +laughing and thinking I had done it as a good joke. I was, of course, +exceedingly annoyed to have been supposed capable of such a vulgar +unmeaning piece of disrespect, and kept my feet as coyly under my +petticoats as the veriest prude in the country till I should make my +escape.' His circumstances were now improved, and though moralists, he +said, thought property an evil, he declared himself happier every guinea +he gained. He thanked God for his animal spirits, which received, +unhappily, in 1829, a terrible shock from the death of his eldest son, +Douglas, aged twenty-four. This was the great misfortune of his life; +the young man was promising, talented, affectionate. He exchanged +Foston-le-Clay at this time for a living in Somersetshire, of a +beautiful and characteristic name--Combe Florey. + +Combe Florey seems to have been an earthly paradise, seated in one of +those delicious hollows or in Combes, for which that part of the west of +England is celebrated. His withdrawal from the Edinburgh +Review--Mackintosh's death--the marriage of his eldest daughter, Saba, +to Dr. Holland (now Sir Henry Holland)--the termination of Lord Grey's +Administration, which ended Sydney's hopes of being a bishop, were the +leading events of his life for the next few years. + +It appears that Sydney Smith felt to the hour of his death pained that +those by whose side he had fought for fifty years, in their adversity, +the Whig party, should never have offered what he declared he should +have rejected, a bishopric, when they were constantly bestowing such +promotions on persons of mediocre talent and claims. Waiving the point, +whether it is right or wrong to make men bishops because they have been +political partizans, the cause of this alleged injustice may be found in +the tone of the times, which was eminently tinctured with cant. The +Clapham sect were in the ascendancy; and Ministers scarcely dared to +offend so influential a body. Even the gentle Sir James Mackintosh +refers, in his Journal, with disgust to the phraseology of the day:-- + +'They have introduced a new language, in which they never say that A. B. +is good, or virtuous, or even religious; but that he is an "advanced +Christian." Dear Mr. Wilberforce is an "advanced Christian." Mrs. C. has +lost three children without a pang, and is so "advanced a Christian" +that she could see the remaining twenty, "with poor dear Mr. C.," +removed with perfect tranquillity.' + +Such was the disgust expressed towards that school by Mackintosh, whose +last days were described by his daughter as having been passed in +silence and thought, with his Bible before him, breaking that +silence--and portentous silence--to speak of God, and of his Maker's +disposition towards man. + +His mind ceased to be occupied with speculations; politics interested +him no more. His own 'personal relationship to his Creator' was the +subject of his thoughts. Yet Mackintosh was not by any means considered +as an advanced Christian, or even as a Christian at all by the zealots +of his time. + +Sydney Smith's notions of a bishop were certainly by no means carried +out in his own person and character. 'I never remember in my time,' he +said, 'a real bishop: a grave, elderly man, full of Greek, with sound +views of the middle voice and preterpluperfect tense; gentle and kind to +his poor clergy, of powerful and commanding eloquence in Parliament, +never to be put down when the great interests of mankind were concerned, +leaning to the Government when it was right, leaning to the people when +they were right; feeling that if the Spirit of God had called him to +that high office, he was called for no mean purpose, but rather that +seeing clearly, acting boldly, and intending purely, he might confer +lasting benefit upon mankind.' + +In 1831 Lord Grey appointed Sydney Smith a Canon Resilentiary of St. +Paul's; but still the mitre was withheld, although it has since appeared +that Lord Grey had destined him for one of the first vacancies in +England. + +Henceforth his residence at St. Paul's brought him still more +continually into the world, which he delighted by his 'wise wit.' Most +London dinners, he declared, evaporated in whispers to one's next +neighbours. He never, however, spoke to his neighbour, but 'fired' +across the table. One day, however, he broke his rule, on hearing a +lady, who sat next him, say in a sweet low voice, 'No gravy, +sir.'--'Madam!' he cried, 'I have all my life been looking for a person +who disliked gravy, let us swear immortal friendship.' She looked +astonished, but took the oath, and kept it. 'What better foundation for +friendship,' he asks, 'than similarity of tastes?' + +He gave an evening party once a week; when a profusion of wax-lights was +his passion. He loved to see young people decked with natural flowers; +he was, in fact, a blameless and benevolent Epicurean in everything; +great indeed was the change from his former residence at Foston, which +he used to say was twelve miles from a lemon. Charming as his parties at +home must have been, they wanted the _bon-hommie_ and simplicity of +former days, and Of the homely suppers in Orchard Street. Lord Dudley, +Rogers, Moore, 'Young Macaulay,' as he was called for many years, formed +now his society. Lord Dudley was then in the state which afterwards +became insanity, and darkened completely a mind sad and peculiar from +childhood. Bankes, in his 'Journal,' relates an anecdote of him about +this time, when, as he says, 'Dudley's mind was on the wane; but still +his caustic humour would find vent through the cloud which was gradually +over-shadowing his masterly intellect.' He was one day sitting in his +room soliloquizing aloud; his favourite Newfoundland-dog was at his +side, and seemed to engross all ----m's attention. A gentleman was +present who was good-looking and good-natured, but not overburthened +with sense. Lord Dudley at last, patting his dog's head, said, 'Fido +mio, they say dogs have no souls. Humph, and still they say ----' +(naming the gentleman present) 'has a soul!' One day Lord Dudley met Mr. +Allen, Lord Holland's librarian, and asked him to dine with him. Allen +went. When asked to describe his dinner, he said, 'There was no one +there. Lord Dudley talked a little to his servant, and a great deal to +his dog, but said not one word to me.' + +Innumerable are the witticisms related of Sydney Smith, when seated at a +dinner table--having swallowed in life what he called a 'Caspian Sea' of +soup. Talking one day of Sir Charles Lyell's book, the subject of which +was the phenomena which the earth might, at some future period, present +to the geologists. 'Let us imagine,' he said, 'an excavation on the site +of St. Paul's; fancy a lecture by the Owen of his future era on the +thigh-bone of a minor canon, or the tooth of a dean: the form, +qualities, and tastes he would discover from them.' 'It is a great proof +of shyness,' he said, 'to crumble your bread at dinner. Ah! I see,' he +said, turning to a young lady, 'you're afraid of me: you crumble your +bread. I do it when I sit by the Bishop of London, and with both hands +when I sit by the Archbishop.' + +Be gave a capital reproof to a lively young M.P. who was accompanying +him after dinner to one of the solemn evening receptions at Lambeth +Palace during the life of the late Archbishop of Canterbury. The M.P. +had been calling him 'Smith,' though they had never met before that day. +As the carriage stopped at the Palace, Smith turned to him and said, +'Now don't, my good fellow, don't call the Archbishop "Howley."' + +Talking of fancy-balls--'Of course,' he said, 'if I went to one, I +should go as a Dissenter.' Of Macaulay, he said, 'To take him out of +literature and science, and to put him in the House of Commons, is like +taking the chief physician out of London in a pestilence.' + +Nothing amused him so much as the want of perception of a joke. One hot +day a Mrs. Jackson called on him, and spoke of the oppressive state of +the weather. 'Heat! it was dreadful,' said Sydney; 'I found I could do +nothing for it but take off my flesh and sit in my bones.' 'Take off +your flesh and sit in your bones! Oh, Mr. Smith! how could you do that?' +the lady cried. 'Come and see next time, ma'am--nothing more easy.' She +went away, however, convinced that such a proceeding was very +unorthodox. No wonder, with all his various acquirements, it should be +said of him that no 'dull dinners were ever remembered in his company.' + +A happy old age concluded his life, at once brilliant and useful. To the +last he never considered his education as finished. His wit, a friend +said, 'was always fresh, always had the dew on it. He latterly got into +what Lord Jeffrey called the vicious habit of water drinking. Wine, he +said, destroyed his understanding. He even 'forgot the number of the +Muses, and thought it was thirty-nine, of course.' He agreed with Sir +James Mackintosh that he had found the world more good and more foolish +than he had thought when young. He took a cheerful view of all things; +he thanked God for small as well as great things, even for tea. 'I am +glad,' he used to say, 'I was not born before tea.' His domestic +affections were strong, and were heartily reciprocated. + +General society he divided into classes: 'The noodles--very numerous and +well known. The affliction woman--a valuable member of society, +generally an ancient spinster in small circumstances, who packs up her +bag and sets off in cases of illness or death, "to comfort, flatter, +fetch, and carry." The up-takers--people who see, from their fingers' +ends and go through a room touching everything. The clearers--who begin +at a dish and go on tasting and eating till it is finished. The +sheep-walkers--who go on for ever on the beaten track. The +lemon-squeezers of society--who act on you as a wet blanket; see a cloud +in sunshine; the nails of the coffin in the ribbons of a bride; +extinguish all hope; people, whose very look sets your teeth on an edge. +The let-well-aloners, cousin-german to the noodles--yet a variety, and +who are afraid to act, and think it safer to stand still. Then the +washerwomen--very numerous! who always say, "Well, if ever I put on my +best bonnet, 'tis sure to rain," &c. + +'Besides this there is a very large class of people always treading on +your gouty foot, or talking in your deaf ear, or asking you to give them +something with your lame hand,' &c. + +During the autumn of the year 1844, Sydney Smith felt the death-stroke +approaching. 'I am so weak, both in body and mind,' he said, 'that I +believe if the knife were put into my hand, I should not have strength +enough to stick it into a Dissenter.' In October he became seriously +ill. 'Ah! Charles,' he said to General Fox (when he was being kept very +low), 'I wish they would allow me even the wing of a roasted butterfly,' +He dreaded sorrowful faces around him; but confided to his old servant, +Annie Kay--and to her alone--his sense of his danger. + +Almost the last person Sydney Smith saw was his beloved brother Bobus, +who followed him to the grave a fortnight after he had been laid in the +tomb. + +He lingered till the 22nd of February, 1845. His son closed his eyes. +His last act was, bestowing on a poverty-stricken clergyman a living. + +He was buried at Kensal Green, where his eldest son, Douglas, had been +interred. + +It has been justly and beautifully said of Sydney Smith, that +Christianity was not a dogma with him, but a practical and most +beneficent rule of life. + +As a clergyman, he was liberal, practical, staunch; free from the +latitudinarian principles of Hoadley, as from the bigotry of Laud. His +wit was the wit of a virtuous, a decorous man; it had pungency without +venom; humour without indelicacy; and was copious without being +tiresome. + + + +GEORGE BUBB DODINGTON, LORD MELCOMBE. + + +A Dinner-giving lordly Poet.--A Misfortune for a Man of Society.-- +Brandenburgh House.--'The Diversions of the Morning.'--Johnson's Opinion +of Foote--Churchill and 'The Rosciad.'--Personal Ridicule in its Proper +Light.--Wild Specimen of the Poet.--Walpole on Dodington's 'Diary.'--The +best Commentary on a Man's Life.--Leicester House.--Grace Boyle,--Elegant +Modes of passing Time.--A sad Day.--What does Dodington come here for?-- +The Veteran Wit, Beau, and Politician.--'Defend us from our Executors +and Editors.' + + +It would have been well for Lord Melcombe's memory, Horace Walpole +remarks, 'if his fame had been suffered to rest on the tradition of his +wit, and the evidence of his poetry.' And in the present day, that +desirable result has come to pass. We remember Bubb Dodington chiefly as +the courtier whose person, houses, and furniture were replete with +costly ostentation, so as to provoke the satire of Foote, who brought +him on the stage under the name of Sir Thomas Lofty in 'The Patron,' + +We recall him most as '_l'Amphytrion chez qui on dine_;' 'My Lord of +Melcombe,' as Mallet says-- + + 'Whose soups and sauces duly season'd, + Whose wit well tim'd and sense well reason'd, + Give Burgundy a brighter stain, + And add new flavour to Champagne.' + +Who now cares much for the court intrigues which severed Sir Robert +Walpole and Bubb Dodington? Who now reads without disgust the annals of +that famous quarrel between George II. and his son, during which each +party devoutly wished the other dead? Who minds whether the time-serving +Bubb Dodington went over to Lord Bute or not? Who cares whether his +hopes of political preferment were or were not gratified? Bubb Dodington +was, in fact, the dinner-giving lordly poet, to whom even the saintly +Young could write:-- + + 'You give protection,--I a worthless strain. + +Born in 1691, the accomplished courtier answered, till he had attained +the age of twenty-nine, to the not very euphonious name of Bubb. Then a +benevolent uncle with a large estate died, and left him, with his lands, +the more exalted surname of Dodington. He sprang, however, from an +obscure family, who had settled in Dorchester; but that disadvantage, +which, according to Lord Brougham's famous pamphlet, acts so fatally on +a young man's advancement in English public life, was obviated, as most +things are, by a great fortune. + +Mr. Bubb had been educated at Oxford: at the age of twenty-four he was +elected M.P. for Winchelsea; he was soon afterwards named Envoy at the +Court of Spain, but returned home after his accession of wealth to +provincial honours, and became Lord-Lieutenant of Somerset. Nay, poets +began to worship him, and even pronounced him to be well born:-- + + 'Descended from old British sires; + Great Dodington to kings allied; + My patron then, my laurels' pride. + +It would be consolatory to find that it is only Welsted who thus +profaned the Muse by this abject flattery, were it not recorded that +Thomson dedicated to him his 'Summer.' The dedication was prompted by +Lord Binning; and 'Summer' was published in 1727 when Dodington was one +of the Lords of the Treasury, as well as Clerk of the Pells in Ireland, +It seemed, therefore, worth while for Thomson to pen such a passage as +this:--'Your example sir, has recommended poetry with the greatest grace +to the example of those who are engag'd in the most active scenes of +life; and this, though confessedly the least considerable of those +qualities that dignify your character, must be particularly pleasing to +_one_ whose only hope of being introduced to your regard is thro' the +recommendation of an art in which you are a master.' Warton adding this +tribute:-- + + 'To praise a Dodington rash bard! forbear. + What can thy weak and ill-tun'd voice avail, + When on that theme both Young and Thomson fail?' + +Yet even when midway in his career, Dodington, in the famous political +caricature called 'The Motion,' is depicted as 'the Spaniel,' sitting +between the Duke of Argyle's legs, whilst his grace is driving a coach +at full speed to the Treasury, with a sword instead of a whip in his +hand, with Lord Chesterfield as postilion, and Lord Cobham as a footman, +holding on by the straps: even then the servile though pompous character +of this true man of the world was comprehended completely; and Bubb +Dodington's characteristics never changed. + +In his political life, Dodington was so selfish, obsequious, and +versatile as to incur universal opprobrium; he had also another +misfortune for a man of society,--he became fat and lethargic. 'My +brother Ned' Horace Walpole remarks, 'says he is grown of less +consequence, though more weight.' And on another occasion, speaking of a +majority in the House of Lords, he adds, 'I do not count Dodington, who +must now always be in the minority, for no majority will accept him.' + +Whilst, however, during the factious reign of George II., the town was +declared, even by Horace to be wondrous dull; operas unfrequented, plays +not in fashion, and amours old as marriages. Bubb Dodington, with his +wealth and profusion, contrived always to be in vogue as a host, while +he was at a discount as a politician. Politics and literature are the +highroads in England to that much-craved-for distinction, an admittance +into the great world; and Dodington united these passports in his own +person: he was a poetaster, and wrote political pamphlets. The latter +were published and admired: the poems were referred to as 'very pretty +love verses,' by Lord Lyttelton, and were never published--and never +ought to have been published, it is stated. + +His _bon mots_, his sallies, his fortunes and places, and continual +dangling at court, procured Bubo, as Pope styled him, one pre-eminence. +His dinners at Hammersmith were the most _recherchés_ in the metropolis. +Every one remembers Brandenburgh House, when the hapless Caroline of +Brunswick held her court there, and where her brave heart,--burdened +probably with some sins, as well as with endless regrets,--broke at +last. It had been the residence of the beautiful and famous Margravine +of Anspach, whose loveliness in vain tempts us to believe her innocent, +in despite of facts. Before those eras--the presence of the Margravine, +whose infidelities were almost avowed, and the abiding of the queen, +whose errors had, at all events, verged on the very confines of +guilt--the house was owned by Dodington. There he gave dinners; there he +gratified a passion for display, which was puerile; there he indulged in +eccentricities which almost implied insanity; there he concocted his +schemes for court advancement; and there, later in life, he contributed +some of the treasures of his wit to dramatic literature. 'The Wishes,' a +comedy, by Bentley, was supposed to owe much of its point to the +brilliant wit of Dodington[14]. + +[14: See Walpole's 'Royal and Noble Authors'] + +At Brandenburgh House, a nobler presence than that of Dodington still +haunted the groves and alleys, for Prince Rupert had once owned it. When +Dodington bought it, he gave it--in jest, we must presume--the name of +La Trappe; and it was not called Brandenburgh House until the fair and +frail Margravine came to live there. + +Its gardens were long famous; and in the time of Dodington were the +scene of revel. Thomas Bentley, the son of Richard Bentley, the +celebrated critic, had written a play called 'The Wishes;' and during +the summer of 1761 it was acted at Drury Lane, and met with the especial +approbation of George III., who sent the author, through Lord Bute, a +present of two hundred guineas as a tribute to the good sentiments of +the production. + +This piece, which, in spite of its moral tendency, has died out, whilst +plays of less virtuous character have lived, was rehearsed in the +gardens of Brandenburgh House. Bubb Dodington associated much with those +who give fame; but he courted amongst them also those who could revenge +affronts by bitter ridicule. Among the actors and literati who were then +sometimes at Brandenburg House were Foote and Churchill; capital boon +companions, but, as it proved, dangerous foes.' + +Endowed with imagination; with a mind enriched by classical and +historical studies; possessed of a brilliant wit, Bubb Dodington was, +nevertheless, in the sight of some men, ridiculous. Whilst the +rehearsals of 'The Wishes' went on, Foote was noting down all the +peculiarities of the Lord of Brandenburgh House, with a view to bring +them to account in his play of 'The Patron.' Lord Melcombe was an +aristocratic Dombey: stultified by his own self-complacency, he dared to +exhibit his peculiarities before the English Aristophanes. It was an act +of imprudence, for Foote had long before (in 1747) opened the little +theatre of the Haymarket with a sort of monologue play, 'The Diversions +of the Morning,' in which he convulsed his audience with the perfection +of a mimicry never beheld before, and so wonderful, that even the +persons of his models seemed to stand before the amazed spectators. + +These entertainments, in which the contriver was at once the author and +performer, have been admirably revived by Mathews and others; and in +another line, by the lamented Albert Smith. The Westminster justices, +furious and alarmed, opposed the daring performance, on which Foote +changed the name of his piece, and called it 'Mr. Foote giving Tea to +his Friends,' himself still the sole actor, and changing with +Proteus-like celerity from one to the other. Then came his 'Auction of +Pictures,' and Sir Thomas de Veil, one of his enemies, the justices, was +introduced. Orator Henley and Cock the auctioneer figured also; and year +after year the town was enchanted by that which is most gratifying to a +polite audience, the finished exhibition of faults and follies. One +stern voice was raised in reprobation, that of Samuel Johnson: he, at +all events, had a due horror of buffoons; but even he owned himself +vanquished. + +'The first time I was in Foote's company was at Fitzherbert's. Having no +good opinion of the fellow, I was resolved not to be pleased: and it is +very difficult to please a man against his will. I went on eating my +dinner pretty sullenly, affecting not to mind him; but the dog was so +very comical, that I was obliged to lay down my knife and fork, throw +myself back in my chair, and fairly laugh it out. Sir, he was +irresistible.' Consoled by Foote's misfortunes and ultimate complicated +misery for his lessened importance, Bubb Dodington still reigned, +however, in the hearts of some learned votaries. Richard Bentley, the +critic, compared him to Lord Halifax-- + + 'That Halifax, my Lord, as you do yet, + Stood forth the friend of poetry and wit, + Sought silent merit in the secret cell, + And Heav'n, nay even man, repaid him well. + +A more remorseless foe, however, than Foote appeared in the person of +Charles Churchill, the wild and unclerical son of a poor curate of +Westminster. Foote laughed Bubb Dodington down, but Churchill +perpetuated the satire; for Churchill was wholly unscrupulous, and his +faults had been reckless and desperate. Wholly unfit for a clergyman, he +had taken orders, obtained a curacy in Wales at £30 a year--not being +able to subsist, took to keeping a cider-cellar, became a sort of +bankrupt, and quitting Wales, succeeded to the curacy of his father, who +had just died. Still famine haunted his home; Churchill took, therefore, +to teaching young ladies to read and write, and conducted himself in the +boarding-school where his duties lay, with wonderful propriety. He had +married at seventeen; but even that step had not protected his morals: +he fell into abject poverty. Lloyd, father of his friend Robert Lloyd, +then second master of Westminster, made an arrangement with his +creditors. Young Lloyd had published a poem called 'The Actor;' +Churchill, in imitation, now produced 'The Rosciad,' and Bubb Dodington +was one whose ridiculous points were salient in those days of +personality. 'The Rosciad' had a signal success, which completed the +ruin of its author: he became a man of the town, forsook the wife of his +youth, and abandoned the clerical character. There are few sights more +contemptible than that of a clergyman who has cast off his profession, +or whose profession has cast him off. But Churchill's talents for a time +kept him from utter destitution. Bubb Doddington may have been consoled +by finding that he shared the fate of Dr. Johnson, who had spoken +slightingly of Churchill's works, and who shone forth, therefore, in +'The Ghost,' a later poem, as Dr. Pomposo. + +Richard Cumberland, the dramatist, drew a portrait of Lord Melcombe, +which is said to have been taken from the life; but perhaps the most +faithful delineation of Bubb Dodington's character was furnished by +himself in his 'Diary;' in which, as it has been well observed, he +'unveiled the nakedness of his mind, and displayed himself as a courtly +compound of mean compliance and political prostitution.' It may, in +passing, be remarked, that few men figure well in an autobiography; and +that Cumberland himself, proclaimed by Dr. Johnson to be a 'learned, +ingenious, accomplished gentleman,' adding, 'the want of company is an +inconvenience, but Mr. Cumberland is a million:' in spite of this +eulogium, Cumberland has betrayed in his own autobiography unbounded +vanity, worldliness, and an undue estimation of his own perishable fame. +After all, amusing as personalities must always be, neither the humours +of Foote, the vigorous satire of Churchill, nor the careful limning of +Cumberland, whilst they cannot be ranked among talents of the highest +order, imply a sort of social treachery. The delicious little colloquy +between Boswell and Johnson places low personal ridicule in its proper +light. + +Boswell.--'Foote has a great deal of humour.' Johnson.--'Yes, sir.' +Boswell.--'He has a singular talent of exhibiting characters.' +Johnson--'Sir. it is not a talent--it is a vice; it is what others +abstain from. It is not comedy, which exhibits the character of a +species--as that of a miser gathered from many misers--it is farce, +which exhibits individuals.' Boswell.--'Did not he think of exhibiting +you, sir?' Johnson.--'Sir, fear restrained him; he knew I would have +broken his bones. I would have saved him the trouble of cutting off a +leg; I would not have left him a leg to cut off.' + +Few annals exist of the private life of Bubb Dodington, but those few +are discreditable. + +Like most men of his time, and like many men of all times, Dodington was +entangled by an unhappy and perplexing intrigue. + +There was a certain 'black woman,' as Horace Walpole calls a Mrs. +Strawbridge, whom Bubb Dodington admired. This handsome brunette lived +in a corner house of Saville Row, in Piccadilly, where Dodington visited +her. The result of their intimacy was his giving this lady a bond of ten +thousand pounds to be paid if he married any one else. The real object +of his affections was a Mrs. Behan, with whom he lived seventeen years, +and whom, on the death of Mrs. Strawbridge, he eventually married. + +Among Bubb Dodington's admirers and disciples was Paul Whitehead, a wild +specimen of the poet, rake, satirist, dramatist, all in one; and what +was quite in character, a Templar to boot. Paul--so named from being +born on that Saint's day--wrote one or two pieces which brought him an +ephemeral fame, such as the 'State Dunces,' and the 'Epistle to Dr. +Thompson,' 'Manners,' a satire, and the 'Gymnasiad,' a mock heroic poem, +intended to ridicule the passion for boxing, then prevalent. Paul +Whitehead, who died in 1774, was an infamous, but not, in the opinion of +Walpole, a despicable poet, yet Churchill has consigned him to +everlasting infamy as a reprobate, in these lines:-- + + 'May I (can worse disgrace on manhood fall?) + Be born a Whitebread, and baptised a Paul.' + +Paul was not, however, worse than his satirist Churchill; and both of +these wretched men were members of a society long the theme of horror +and disgust, even after its existence had ceased to be remembered, +except by a few old people. This was the 'Hell-fire Club,' held in +appropriate orgies at Medmenham Abbey, Buckinghamshire. The profligate +Sir Francis Dashwood, Wilkes, and Churchill, were amongst its most +prominent members. + +With such associates, and living in a court where nothing but the basest +passions reigned and the lowest arts prevailed, we are inclined to +accord with the descendant of Bubb Dodington, the editor of his 'Diary,' +Henry Penruddocke Wyndham, who declares that all Lord Melcombe's +political conduct was 'wholly directed by the base motives of vanity, +selfishness, and avarice.' Lord Melcombe seems to have been a man of the +world of the very worst _calibre_; sensual, servile, and treacherous; +ready, during the lifetime of his patron, Frederick, Prince of Wales, to +go any lengths against the adverse party of the Pelhams, that Prince's +political foes--eager, after the death of Frederick, to court those +powerful men with fawning servility. + +The famous 'Diary' of Bubb Dodington supplies the information from which +these conclusions have been drawn. Horace Walpole, who knew Dodington +well, describes how he read with avidity the 'Diary,' which was +published in 1784. + +'A nephew of Lord Melcombe's heirs has published that Lord's "Diary." +Indeed it commences in 1749, and I grieve it was not dated twenty years +later. However, it deals in topics that are twenty times more familiar +and fresh to my memory than any passage that has happened within these +six months I wish I could convey it to you. Though drawn by his own +hand, and certainly meant to flatter himself, it is a truer portrait +than any of his hirelings would have given. Never was such a composition +of vanity, versatility, and servility. In short, there is but one +feature wanting in it, his wit, of which in the whole book there are not +three sallies.' + +The editor of this 'Diary' remarks, 'that he will no doubt be considered +a very extraordinary editor; the practice of whom has generally been to +prefer flattery to truth, and partiality to justice.' To understand, not +the flattery which his contemporaries heaped upon Bubb Dodington, but +the opprobrium with which they loaded his memory--to comprehend not his +merits but his demerits--it is necessary to take a brief survey of his +political life from the commencement. He began life, as we have seen, as +a servile adherent of Sir Robert Walpole. A political epistle to the +Minister was the prelude to a temporary alliance only, for in 1737, Bubb +went over to the adverse party of Leicester House, and espoused the +cause of Frederick, Prince of Wales, against his royal father He was +therefore dismissed from the Treasury. When Sir Robert fell, Bubb +expected to rise, but his expectations of preferment were not realized. +He attacked the new Administration forthwith, and succeeded so far in +becoming important that he was made Treasurer of the Navy; a post which +he resigned in 1749, and which he held again in 1755, but which he lost +the next year. On the accession of George III., he was not ashamed to +appear altogether in a new character, as the friend of Lord Bute; he +was, therefore, advanced to the peerage by the title of Baron of +Melcombe Regis, in 1761. The honour was enjoyed for one short year only; +and on the 28th of July, 1762, Bubb Dodington expired. Horace Walpole, +in his 'Royal and Noble Authors,' complains that 'Dodington's "Diary" +was mangled, in compliment, before it was imparted to the public.' We +cannot therefore judge of what the 'Diary' was before, as the editor +avows that every anecdote was cut out, and all the little gossip so +illustrative of character and manners which would have brightened its +dull pages, fell beneath the power of a merciless pair of scissors. Mr. +Penruddocke Wyndham conceives, however, that he was only doing justice +to society in these suppressions. 'It would,' he says, 'be _no_ +entertainment to the reader to be informed who daily dined with his +lordship, or whom he daily met at the table of other people.' + +Posterity thinks differently: a knowledge of a man's associates forms +the best commentary on his life; and there is much reason to rejoice +that all biographers are not like Mr. Penruddocke Wyndham. Bubb +Dodington, more especially, was a man of society: inferior as a literary +man, contemptible as a politician, it was only at the head of his table +that he was agreeable and brilliant. He was, in fact, a man who had no +domestic life; a courtier, like Lord Hervey, but without Lord Hervey's +consistency. He was, in truth, a type of that era in England: vulgar in +aims; dissolute in conduct; ostentatious, vain-glorious--of a low, +ephemeral ambition; but at the same time talented, acute, and lavish to +the lettered. The public is now the patron of the gifted. What writer +cares for individual opinion, except as it tends to sweep up the gross +amount of public blame or censure? What publisher will consent to +undertake a work because some lord or lady recommended it to his notice? +The reviewer is greater in the commonwealth of letters than the man of +rank. + +But in these days it was otherwise; and they who, in the necessities of +the times, did what they could to advance the interest of the _belles +lettres_, deserve not to be forgotten. + +It is with a feeling of sickness that we open the pages of this great +Wit's 'Diary,' and attempt to peruse the sentences in which the most +grasping selfishness is displayed. We follow him to Leicester House, +that ancient tenement--(wherefore pulled down, except to erect on its +former site the narrowest of streets, does not appear): that former home +of the Sydneys had not always been polluted by the dissolute, heartless +_clique_ who composed the court of Frederick, Prince of Wales. Its +chambers had once been traversed by Henry Sydney, by Algernon, his +brother. It was their _home_--their father, Robert Sydney, Earl of +Leicester, having lived there. The lovely Dorothy Sydney, Waller's +Saccharissa, once, in all purity and grace, had danced in that gallery +where the vulgar, brazen Lady Middlesex, and her compliant lord, +afterwards flattered the weakest of princes, Frederick. In old times +Leicester House had stood on Lammas land--land in the spirit of the old +charities, open to the poor after Lammas-tide; and even 'the Right Hon. +the Earl of Leicester'--as an old document hath it--was obliged, if _he_ +chose to turn out his cows or horses on that appropriated land, to pay a +rent for it to the overseers of St. Martin's parish, then really 'in the +fields.' And here this nobleman not only dwelt in all state himself, but +let, or lent his house to persons whose memory seems to hallow even +Leicester Fields. Elizabeth of Bohemia, after what was to her indeed +'life's fitful fever,' died at Leicester House. It became then, +temporarily, the abode of ambassadors. Colbert, in the time of Charles +II., occupied the place; Prince Eugène, in 1712, held his residence +here; and the rough soldier, famous for all absence of tact--brave, +loyal-hearted, and coarse--lingered at Leicester House in hopes of +obstructing the peace between England and France. + +All that was good and great fled for ever from Leicester House at the +instant that George II., when Prince of Wales, was driven by his royal +father from St. James's, and took up his abode in it until the death of +George I. The once honoured home of the Sydneys henceforth becomes +loathsome in a moral sense. Here William, Duke of Cumberland--the hero, +as court flatterers called him--the butcher, as the poor Jacobite +designated him--of Culloden, first saw the light. Peace and +respectability then dignified the old house for ever. Prince Frederick +was its next inmate: here the Princess of Wales, the mother of George +III., had her lying-in, and her royal husband held his public tables; +and at these and in every assembly, as well as in private, one figure is +conspicuous. + +Grace Boyle--for she unworthily bore that great name--was the daughter +and heiress of Richard, Viscount Shannon. She married Lord Middlesex, +bringing him a fortune of thirty thousand pounds. Short, plain, 'very +yellow,' as her contemporaries affirm, with a head full of Greek and +Latin, and devoted to music and painting; it seems strange that +Frederick should have been attracted to one far inferior to his own +princess both in mind and person. But so it was, for in those days every +man liked his neighbour's wife better than his own. Imitating the +forbearance of her royal mother-in-law, the princess tolerated such of +her husband's mistresses as did not interfere in politics: Lady +Middlesex was the 'my good Mrs. Howard,' of Leicester House. She was +made Mistress of the Robes: her favour soon 'grew,' as the shrewd Horace +remarks, 'to be rather more than Platonic.' She lived with the royal +pair constantly, and sat up till five o'clock in the morning at their +suppers; and Lord Middlesex saw and submitted to all that was going on +with the loyalty and patience of a _Georgian_ courtier. Lady Middlesex +was a docile politician, and on that account, retained her position +probably long after she had lost her influence. + +Her name appears constantly in the 'Diary,' out of which everything +amusing has been carefully expunged. + +'Lady Middlesex, Lord Bathurst, Mr. Breton, and I, waited on their Royal +Highnesses to Spitalfields, to see the manufacture of silk.' In the +afternoon off went the same party to Norwood Forest, in private coaches, +to see a 'settlement of gypsies.' Then returning, went to find out +Bettesworth, the conjuror; but not discovering him, went in search of +the little Dutchman. Were disappointed in that; but 'concluded,' relates +Bubb Dodington, 'the peculiarities of this day by supping with Mrs. +Cannon, the princess's _midwife_.' + +All these elegant modes of passing the time were not only for the sake +of Lady Middlesex, but, it was said, of her friend, Mrs. Granville, one +of the Maids of Honour, daughter of the first Lord Lansdown, the poet. +This young lady, Eliza Granville, was scarcely pretty: a far, red-haired +girl. + +All this thoughtless, if not culpable, gallantry was abruptly checked by +the rude hand of death. During the month of March, Frederick was +attacked with illness, having caught cold. Very little apprehension was +expressed at first, but, about eleven days after his first attack, he +expired. Half an hour before his death, he had asked to see some +friends, and had called for coffee and bread and butter: a fit of +coughing came on, and he died instantly from suffocation. An abscess, +which had been forming in his side, had burst; nevertheless, his two +physicians, Wilmot and Lee, 'knew nothing of his distemper.' According +to Lord Melcombe, who thus refers to their blunders, 'They declared, +half an hour before his death, that his pulse was like a man's in +perfect health. They either would not see or did not know the +consequences of the black thrush, which appeared in his mouth, and quite +down in his throat. Their ignorance, or their knowledge of his disorder, +renders them equally inexcusable for not calling in other assistance.' + +The consternation in the prince's household was great, not for his life, +but for the confusion into which politics were thrown by his death. +After his relapse, and until just before his death, the princess never +suffered any English, man or woman, above the degree of valet-de-chambre +to see him; nor did she herself see any one of her household until +absolutely necessary. After the death of his eldest born, George II. +vented his diabolical jealousy upon the cold remains of one thus cut off +in the prime of life. The funeral was ordered to be on the model of that +of Charles II., but private counter-orders were issued to reduce the +ceremonial to the smallest degree of respect that could be paid. + +On the 13th of April, 1751, the body of the prince was entombed in Henry +VII.'s chapel. Except the lords appointed to hold the pall, and attend +the chief mourner, when the attendants were called over in their ranks, +there was not a _single_ English lord, not _one_ bishop, and only one +Irish lord (Lord Limerick), and three sons of peers. Sir John Rushout +and Dodington were the only privy counsellors who followed. It rained +heavily, but no covering was provided for the procession. The service +was performed without organ or anthem. 'Thus,' observes Bubb Dodington, +'ended this sad day.' + +Although the prince left a brother and sisters, the Duke of Somerset +acted as chief mourner. The king hailed the event of the prince's death +as a relief, which was to render happy his remaining days; and Bubb +Dodington hastened, in a few months, to offer to the Pelhams 'his +friendship and attachment.' His attendance at court was resumed, +although George II. could not endure him; and the old Walpolians, +nick-named the Black-tan, were also averse to him. + +Such were Bubb Dodington's _actions_. His expressions, on occasion of +the prince's death, were in a very different tone. + +'We have lost,' he wrote to Sir Horace Mann, 'the delight and ornament +of the age he lived in,--the expectations of the public: in this light I +have lost more than any subject in England; but this is light,--public +advantages confined to myself do not, ought not, to weigh with me. But +we have lost the refuge of private distress--the balm of the afflicted +heart the shelter of the miserable against the fury of private +adversity; the arts, the graces, the anguish, the misfortunes of +society, have lost their patron and their remedy. + +'I have lost my companion--my protector--the friend that loved me, that +condescended to hear, to communicate, to share in all the pleasures and +pains of the human heart: where the social affections and emotions of +the mind only presided without regard to the infinite disproportion of +my rank and condition. This is a wound that cannot, ought not to heal. +If I pretended to fortitude here, I should be infamous--a monster of +ingratitude--and unworthy of all consolation, if I was not +inconsolable.' + +'Thank you,' writes the shrewd Horace Walpole, addressing Sir Horace +Mann, 'for the transcript from _Bulb de Tristibus_. I will keep your +secret, though I am persuaded that a man who had composed such a funeral +oration on his master had himself fully intended that its flowers should +not bloom and wither in obscurity.' + +Well might George II., seeing him go to court say: 'I see Dodington here +sometimes, what does he come for?' + +It was, however, clearly seen what he went for, when, in 1753, two years +after the death of his 'benefactor,' Dodington humbly offered His +Majesty his services in the house, and 'five members,' for the rest of +his life, if His Majesty would give Mr. Pelham leave to employ him for +His Majesty's service. Nevertheless he continued to advise with the +Princess of Wales, and to drop into her house as if it had been a +sister's house--sitting on a stool near the fireside, and listening to +her accounts of her children. + +In the midst of these intrigues for favour on the part of Dodington, Mr. +Pelham died, and was succeeded by his brother, the Duke of Newcastle, +the issue of whose administration is well known. + +In 1760 death again befriended the now veteran wit, beau and politician. +George II. died; and the intimacy which Dodington had always taken care +to preserve between himself and the Princess of Wales, ended +advantageously for him; and he instantly, in spite of all his former +professions to Pelham, joined hand and heart with that minister, from +whom he obtained a peerage. This, as we have seen, was not long enjoyed. +Lord Melcombe, as this able, intriguing man was now styled, died on the +28th of July, 1762; and with him terminated the short-lived distinction +for which he had sacrificed even a decent pretext of principle and +consistency. + +So general has been the contempt felt for his character, that it seems +almost needless to assert that Bubb Dodington was eminently to be +despised. Nothing much more severe can be said of him than the remarks +of Horace Walpole--upon his 'Diary;' in which he observes that Dodington +records little but what is to his own disgrace; as if he thought that +the world would forgive his inconsistencies as readily as he forgave +himself. 'Had he adopted,' Horace well observes, 'the French title +"_Confessions_," it would have seemed to imply some kind of penitence.' + +But vain-glory engrossed him: 'He was determined to raise an altar to +himself, and for want of burnt offerings, lighted the pyre, like a great +author (Rousseau), with his own character.' + +It was said by the same acute observer, both of Lord Hervey and of Bubb +Dodington, that they were the only two persons he ever knew that were +always aiming at wit and never finding it.' And here, it seems, most +that can be testified in praise of a heartless, clever man, must be +summed up. + +Lord Melcombe's property, with the exception of a few legacies, devolved +upon his cousin Thomas Wyndham, of Hammersmith, by whom his Lordship's +papers, letters, and poems, were bequeathed to Henry Penruddocke +Wyndham, with an injunction, that only such as 'might do honour to his +memory should be made public.' + +After this, in addition to the true saying, defend us from our friends +one may exclaim, 'defend us from our executors and editors.' + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Wits and Beaux of Society +by Grace & Philip Wharton + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10797 *** |