diff options
Diffstat (limited to '10792-h/10792-h.htm')
| -rw-r--r-- | 10792-h/10792-h.htm | 1127 |
1 files changed, 1127 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/10792-h/10792-h.htm b/10792-h/10792-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7efbc37 --- /dev/null +++ b/10792-h/10792-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1127 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> +<meta content="pg2html (binary version 0.12a)" + name="generator"> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of + Sailors' Knots:KEEPING UP APPEARANCES + by W.W. Jacobs. +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + * { font-family: Times; + } + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 14pt; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: Courier, monospaced;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 14pt; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Keeping Up Appearances, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Keeping Up Appearances + Sailor's Knots, Part 12. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: January 22, 2004 [EBook #10792] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK KEEPING UP APPEARANCES *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<h1> + SAILORS' KNOTS +</h1> +<br /> +<h2> + By W.W. Jacobs +</h2> +<br /><br /> +<h3> + 1909 +</h3> + +<br><br> +<h2>Part 12.</h2> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (50K)" src="title.jpg" height="718" width="453" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> +<br /> +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-47"> +"Superstitiousness is Right and Proper, to a Certain +Extent." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-48"> +"Silas Was Very Perlite at Fust." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-49"> +"She Saw Silas Winch Standing at the Foot of The Bed." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-50"> +"With Tears in his Eyes 'e Emptied a Little Barrel O' Beer +Down the Sink." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-51"> +"Other wimmen 'as to be satisfied looking at new 'ats." +</a></p> + + + + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + + +<a name="2H_4_12"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + KEEPING UP APPEARANCES +</h2> +<p> + "Everybody is superstitious," said the night-watchman, as he gave + utterance to a series of chirruping endearments to a black cat with one + eye that had just been using a leg of his trousers as a serviette; "if + that cat 'ad stole some men's suppers they'd have acted foolish, and + suffered for it all the rest of their lives." +</p> +<p> + He scratched the cat behind the ear, and despite himself his face + darkened. "Slung it over the side, they would," he said, longingly, "and + chucked bits o' coke at it till it sank. As I said afore, everybody is + superstitious, and those that ain't ought to be night-watchmen for a + time—that 'ud cure 'em. I knew one man that killed a black cat, and + arter that for the rest of his life he could never get three sheets in + the wind without seeing its ghost. Spoilt his life for 'im, it did." +</p> +<p> + He scratched the cat's other ear. "I only left it a moment, while I went + round to the Bull's Head," he said, slowly filling his pipe, "and I + thought I'd put it out o' reach. Some men——" +</p> +<p> + His fingers twined round the animal's neck; then, with a sigh, he rose + and took a turn or two on the jetty. +</p> +<p> + Superstitiousness is right and proper, to a certain extent, he said, + resuming his seat; but, o' course, like everything else, some people + carry it too far—they'd believe anything. Weak-minded they are, and if + you're in no hurry I can tell you a tale of a pal o' mine, Bill + Burtenshaw by name, that'll prove my words. +</p> +<a name="image-47"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="047.jpg" height="469" width="444" +alt="'Superstitiousness is Right and Proper, to a Certain +Extent.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + His mother was superstitious afore 'im, and always knew when 'er friends + died by hearing three loud taps on the wall. The on'y mistake she ever + made was one night when, arter losing no less than seven friends, she + found out it was the man next door hanging pictures at three o'clock in + the morning. She found it out by 'im hitting 'is thumb-nail. +</p> +<p> + For the first few years arter he grew up Bill went to sea, and that on'y + made 'im more superstitious than ever. Him and a pal named Silas Winch + went several v'y'ges together, and their talk used to be that creepy that + some o' the chaps was a'most afraid to be left on deck alone of a night. + Silas was a long-faced, miserable sort o' chap, always looking on the + black side o' things, and shaking his 'ead over it. He thought nothing + o' seeing ghosts, and pore old Ben Huggins slept on the floor for a week + by reason of a ghost with its throat cut that Silas saw in his bunk. He + gave Silas arf a dollar and a neck-tie to change bunks with 'im. +</p> +<p> + When Bill Burtenshaw left the sea and got married he lost sight of Silas + altogether, and the on'y thing he 'ad to remind him of 'im was a piece o' + paper which they 'ad both signed with their blood, promising that the + fust one that died would appear to the other. Bill agreed to it one + evenin' when he didn't know wot he was doing, and for years arterwards 'e + used to get the cold creeps down 'is back when he thought of Silas dying + fust. And the idea of dying fust 'imself gave 'im cold creeps all over. +</p> +<p> + Bill was a very good husband when he was sober, but 'is money was two + pounds a week, and when a man has all that and on'y a wife to keep out of + it, it's natural for 'im to drink. Mrs. Burtenshaw tried all sorts o' + ways and means of curing 'im, but it was no use. Bill used to think o' + ways, too, knowing the 'arm the drink was doing 'im, and his fav'rite + plan was for 'is missis to empty a bucket o' cold water over 'im every + time he came 'ome the worse for licker. She did it once, but as she 'ad + to spend the rest o' the night in the back yard it wasn't tried again. +</p> +<p> + Bill got worse as he got older, and even made away with the furniture to + get drink with. And then he used to tell 'is missis that he was drove to + the pub because his 'ome was so uncomfortable. +</p> +<p> + Just at that time things was at their worst Silas Winch, who 'appened to + be ashore and 'ad got Bill's address from a pal, called to see 'im. It + was a Saturday arternoon when he called, and, o' course, Bill was out, + but 'is missis showed him in, and, arter fetching another chair from the + kitchen, asked 'im to sit down. +</p> +<p> + Silas was very perlite at fust, but arter looking round the room and + seeing 'ow bare it was, he gave a little cough, and he ses, "I thought + Bill was doing well?" he ses. +</p> +<a name="image-48"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="048.jpg" height="420" width="439" +alt="'Silas Was Very Perlite at Fust.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "So he is," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw. +</p> +<p> + Silas Winch coughed again. +</p> +<p> + "I suppose he likes room to stretch 'imself about in?" he ses, looking + round. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw wiped 'er eyes and then, knowing 'ow Silas had been an + old friend o' Bill's, she drew 'er chair a bit closer and told him 'ow it + was. "A better 'usband, when he's sober, you couldn't wish to see," she + ses, wiping her eyes agin. "He'd give me anything—if he 'ad it." +</p> +<p> + Silas's face got longer than ever. "As a matter o' fact," he ses, "I'm a + bit down on my luck, and I called round with the 'ope that Bill could + lend me a bit, just till I can pull round." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw shook her 'ead. +</p> +<p> + "Well, I s'pose I can stay and see 'im?" ses Silas. "Me and 'im used to + be great pals at one time, and many's the good turn I've done him. Wot + time'll he be 'ome?" +</p> +<p> + "Any time after twelve," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw; "but you'd better not be + here then. You see, 'im being in that condition, he might think you was + your own ghost come according to promise and be frightened out of 'is + life. He's often talked about it." +</p> +<p> + Silas Winch scratched his head and looked at 'er thoughtful-like. +</p> +<p> + "Why shouldn't he mistake me for a ghost?" he ses at last; "the shock + might do 'im good. And, if you come to that, why shouldn't I pretend to + be my own ghost and warn 'im off the drink?" +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw got so excited at the idea she couldn't 'ardly speak, but + at last, arter saying over and over agin she wouldn't do such a thing for + worlds, she and Silas arranged that he should come in at about three + o'clock in the morning and give Bill a solemn warning. She gave 'im her + key, and Silas said he'd come in with his 'air and cap all wet and + pretend he'd been drowned. +</p> +<p> + "It's very kind of you to take all this trouble for nothing," ses Mrs. + Burtenshaw as Silas got up to go. +</p> +<p> + "Don't mention it," ses Silas. "It ain't the fust time, and I don't + suppose it'll be the last, that I've put myself out to help my feller- + creeturs. We all ought to do wot we can for each other." +</p> +<p> + "Mind, if he finds it out," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw, all of a tremble, "I + don't know nothing about it. P'r'aps to make it more life-like I'd + better pretend not to see you." +</p> +<p> + "P'r'aps it would be better," ses Silas, stopping at the street door. + "All I ask is that you'll 'ide the poker and anything else that might be + laying about handy. And you 'ad better oil the lock so as the key won't + make a noise." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw shut the door arter 'im, and then she went in and 'ad a + quiet sit-down all by 'erself to think it over. The only thing that + comforted 'et was that Bill would be in licker, and also that 'e would + believe anything in the ghost line. +</p> +<p> + It was past twelve when a couple o' pals brought him 'ome, and, arter + offering to fight all six of 'em, one after the other, Bill hit the wall + for getting in 'is way, and tumbled upstairs to bed. In less than ten + minutes 'e was fast asleep, and pore Mrs. Burtenshaw, arter trying her + best to keep awake, fell asleep too. +</p> +<p> + She was woke up suddenly by a noise that froze the marrer in 'er bones— + the most 'art-rending groan she 'ad ever heard in 'er life; and, raising + her 'ead, she saw Silas Winch standing at the foot of the bed. He 'ad + done his face and hands over with wot is called loominous paint, his cap + was pushed at the back of his 'ead, and wet wisps of 'air was hanging + over his eyes. For a moment Mrs. Burtenshaw's 'art stood still and then + Silas let off another groan that put her on edge all over. It was a + groan that seemed to come from nothing a'most until it spread into a roar + that made the room tremble and rattled the jug in the wash-stand basin. + It shook everything in the room but Bill, and he went on sleeping like an + infant. Silas did two more groans, and then 'e leaned over the foot o' + the bed, and stared at Bill, as though 'e couldn't believe his eyesight. +</p> +<a name="image-49"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="049.jpg" height="384" width="428" +alt="'She Saw Silas Winch Standing at the Foot of The Bed.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Try a squeaky one," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw. +</p> +<p> + Silas tried five squeaky ones, and then he 'ad a fit o' coughing that + would ha' woke the dead, as they say, but it didn't wake Bill. +</p> +<p> + "Now some more deep ones," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw, in a w'isper. +</p> +<p> + Silas licked his lips—forgetting the paint—and tried the deep ones + agin. +</p> +<p> + "Now mix 'em a bit," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw. +</p> +<p> + Silas stared at her. "Look 'ere," he ses, very short, "do you think I'm + a fog-horn, or wot?" +</p> +<p> + He stood there sulky for a moment, and then 'e invented a noise that + nothing living could miss hearing; even Bill couldn't. He moved in 'is + sleep, and arter Silas 'ad done it twice more he turned and spoke to 'is + missis about it. "D'ye hear?" he ses; "stop it. Stop it at once." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw pretended to be asleep, and Bill was just going to turn + over agin when Silas let off another groan. It was on'y a little one + this time, but Bill sat up as though he 'ad been shot, and he no sooner + caught sight of Silas standing there than 'e gave a dreadful 'owl and, + rolling over, wropped 'imself up in all the bed-clothes 'e could lay his + 'ands on. Then Mrs. Burtenshaw gave a 'owl and tried to get some of 'em + back; but Bill, thinking it was the ghost, only held on tighter than + ever. +</p> +<p> + "Bill!" ses Silas Winch, in an awful voice. +</p> +<p> + Bill gave a kick, and tried to bore a hole through the bed. +</p> +<p> + "Bill," ses Silas agin, "why don't you answer me? I've come all the way + from the bottom of the Pacific Ocean to see you, and this is all I get + for it. Haven't you got anything to say to me?" +</p> +<p> + "Good-by," ses Bill, in a voice all smothered with the bed-clothes. +</p> +<p> + Silas Winch groaned agin, and Bill, as the shock 'ad made a'most sober, + trembled all over. +</p> +<p> + "The moment I died," ses Silas, "I thought of my promise towards you. + 'Bill's expecting me,' I ses, and, instead of staying in comfort at the + bottom of the sea, I kicked off the body of the cabin-boy wot was + clinging round my leg, and 'ere I am." +</p> +<p> + "It was very—t-t-thoughtful—of you—Silas," ses Bill; "but you always— + w-w-was—thoughtful. Good-by—" +</p> +<p> + Afore Silas could answer, Mrs. Burtenshaw, who felt more comfortable, + 'aving got a bit o' the clothes back, thought it was time to put 'er + spoke in. +</p> +<p> + "Lor' bless me, Bill," she ses. "Wotever are you a-talking to yourself + like this for? 'Ave you been dreaming?" +</p> +<p> + "Dreaming!" ses pore Bill, catching hold of her 'and and gripping it till + she nearly screamed. "I wish I was. Can't you see it?" +</p> +<p> + "See it?" ses his wife. "See wot?" +</p> +<p> + "The ghost," ses Bill, in a 'orrible whisper; "the ghost of my dear, kind + old pal, Silas Winch. The best and noblest pal a man ever 'ad. The + kindest-'arted——" +</p> +<p> + "Rubbish," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw. "You've been dreaming. And as for the + kindest-'arted pal, why I've often heard you say—" +</p> +<p> + "H'sh!" ses Bill. "I didn't. I'll swear I didn't. I never thought of + such a thing." +</p> +<p> + "You turn over and go to sleep," ses his wife, "hiding your 'ead under + the clothes like a child that's afraid o' the dark! There's nothing + there, I tell you. Wot next will you see, I wonder? Last time it was a + pink rat." +</p> +<p> + "This is fifty million times worse than pink rats," ses Bill. "I on'y + wish it was a pink rat." +</p> +<p> + "I tell you there is nothing there," ses his wife. "Look!" +</p> +<p> + Bill put his 'ead up and looked, and then 'e gave a dreadful scream and + dived under the bed-clothes agin. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, well, 'ave it your own way, then," ses his wife. "If it pleases you + to think there is a ghost there, and to go on talking to it, do so, and + welcome." +</p> +<p> + She turned over and pretended to go to sleep agin, and arter a minute or + two Silas spoke agin in the same hollow voice. +</p> +<p> + "Bill!" he ses. +</p> +<p> + "Yes," ses Bill, with a groan of his own. +</p> +<p> + "She can't see me," ses Silas, "and she can't 'ear me; but I'm 'ere all + right. Look!" +</p> +<p> + "I 'ave looked," ses Bill, with his 'ead still under the clothes. +</p> +<p> + "We was always pals, Bill, you and me," ses Silas; "many a v'y'ge 'ave we + had together, mate, and now I'm a-laying at the bottom of the Pacific + Ocean, and you are snug and 'appy in your own warm bed. I 'ad to come to + see you, according to promise, and over and above that, since I was + drowned my eyes 'ave been opened. Bill, you're drinking yourself to + death!" +</p> +<p> + "I—I—didn't know it," ses Bill, shaking all over. "I'll knock it—off + a bit, and—thank you—for—w-w-warning me. G-G-Good-by." +</p> +<p> + "You'll knock it off altogether," ses Silas Winch, in a awful voice. + "You're not to touch another drop of beer, wine, or spirits as long as + you live. D'ye hear me?" +</p> +<p> + "Not—not as medicine?" ses Bill, holding the clothes up a bit so as to + be more distinct. +</p> +<p> + "Not as anything," ses Silas; "not even over Christmas pudding. Raise + your right arm above your 'ead and swear by the ghost of pore Silas + Winch, as is laying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, that you won't + touch another drop." +</p> +<p> + Bill Burtenshaw put 'is arm up and swore it. +</p> +<p> + Then 'e took 'is arm in agin and lay there wondering wot was going to + 'appen next. +</p> +<p> + "If you ever break your oath by on'y so much as a teaspoonful," ses + Silas, "you'll see me agin, and the second time you see me you'll die as + if struck by lightning. No man can see me twice and live." +</p> +<p> + Bill broke out in a cold perspiration all over. "You'll be careful, + won't you, Silas?" he ses. "You'll remember you 'ave seen me once, I + mean?" +</p> +<p> + "And there's another thing afore I go," ses Silas. "I've left a widder, + and if she don't get 'elp from some one she'll starve." +</p> +<p> + "Pore thing," ses Bill. "Pore thing." +</p> +<p> + "If you 'ad died afore me," ses Silas, "I should 'ave looked arter your + good wife—wot I've now put in a sound sleep—as long as I lived." +</p> +<p> + Bill didn't say anything. +</p> +<p> + "I should 'ave given 'er fifteen shillings a week," ses Silas. +</p> +<p> + "'Ow much?" ses Bill, nearly putting his 'ead up over the clothes, while + 'is wife almost woke up with surprise and anger. +</p> +<p> + "Fifteen shillings," ses Silas, in 'is most awful voice. "You'll save + that over the drink." +</p> +<p> + "I—I'll go round and see her," ses Bill. "S'he might be one o' these + 'ere independent—" 277 +</p> +<p> + "I forbid you to go near the place," ses Silas. "Send it by post every + week; 15 Shap Street will find her. Put your arm up and swear it; same + as you did afore." +</p> +<p> + Bill did as 'e was told, and then 'e lay and trembled, as Silas gave + three more awful groans. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, Bill," he ses. "Farewell. I am going back to my bed at the + bottom o' the sea. So long as you keep both your oaths I shall stay + there. If you break one of 'em or go to see my pore wife I shall appear + agin. Farewell! Farewell! Farewell!" +</p> +<p> + Bill said "Good-by," and arter a long silence he ventured to put an eye + over the edge of the clothes and discovered that the ghost 'ad gone. He + lay awake for a couple o' hours, wondering and saying over the address to + himself so that he shouldn't forget it, and just afore it was time to get + up he fell into a peaceful slumber. His wife didn't get a wink, and she + lay there trembling with passion to think 'ow she'd been done, and + wondering 'ow she was to alter it. +</p> +<p> + Bill told 'er all about it in the morning; and then with tears in his + eyes 'e went downstairs and emptied a little barrel o' beer down the + sink. For the fust two or three days 'e went about with a thirst that + he'd ha' given pounds for if 'e'd been allowed to satisfy it, but arter a + time it went off, and then, like all teetotallers, 'e began to run down + drink and call it pison. +</p> +<a name="image-50"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="050.jpg" height="452" width="440" +alt="'With Tears in his Eyes 'e Emptied a Little Barrel O' Beer +Down the Sink.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + The fust thing 'e did when 'e got his money on Friday was to send off a + post-office order to Shap Street, and Mrs. Burtenshaw cried with rage and + 'ad to put it down to the headache. She 'ad the headache every Friday + for a month, and Bill, wot was feeling stronger and better than he 'ad + done for years, felt quite sorry for her. +</p> +<p> + By the time Bill 'ad sent off six orders she was worn to skin and bone + a'most a-worrying over the way Silas Winch was spending her money. She + dursn't undeceive Bill for two reasons: fust of all, because she didn't + want 'im to take to drink agin; and secondly, for fear of wot he might do + to 'er if 'e found out 'ow she'd been deceiving 'im. +</p> +<p> + She was laying awake thinking it over one night while Bill was sleeping + peaceful by her side, when all of a sudden she 'ad an idea. The more she + thought of it the better it seemed; but she laid awake for ever so long + afore she dared to do more than think. Three or four times she turned + and looked at Bill and listened to 'im breathing, and then, trembling all + over with fear and excitement, she began 'er little game. +</p> +<p> + "He did send it," she ses, with a piercing scream. "He did send it." +</p> +<p> + "W-w-wot's the matter?" ses Bill, beginning to wake up. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw didn't take any notice of 'im. +</p> +<p> + "He did send it," she ses, screaming agin. "Every Friday night reg'lar. + Oh, don't let 'im see you agin." +</p> +<p> + Bill, wot was just going to ask 'er whether she 'ad gone mad, gave a + awful 'owl and disappeared right down in the middle o' the bed. +</p> +<p> + "There's some mistake," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw, in a voice that could ha' + been 'eard through arf-a-dozen beds easy. "It must ha' been lost in the + post. It must ha' been." +</p> +<p> + She was silent for a few seconds, then she ses, "All right," she ses, + "I'll bring it myself, then, by hand every week. No, Bill sha'n't come; + I'll promise that for 'im. Do go away; he might put his 'ead up at any + moment." +</p> +<p> + She began to gasp and sob, and Bill began to think wot a good wife he 'ad + got, when he felt 'er put a couple of pillers over where she judged his + 'ead to be, and hold 'em down with her arm. +</p> +<p> + "Thank you, Mr. Winch," she ses, very loud. "Thank you. Good-by, + Good-by." +</p> +<p> + She began to quieten down a bit, although little sobs, like wimmen use + when they pretend that they want to leave off crying but can't, kept + breaking out of 'er. Then, by and by, she quieted down altogether and a + husky voice from near the foot of the bed ses: "Has it gorn?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Bill," she ses, with another sob, "I've seen the ghost!" +</p> +<p> + "Has it gorn?" ses Bill, agin. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, it's gorn," ses his wife, shivering. "Oh, Bill, it stood at the + foot of the bed looking at me, with its face and 'ands all shiny white, + and damp curls on its forehead. Oh!" +</p> +<p> + Bill came up very slow and careful, but with 'is eyes still shut. +</p> +<p> + "His wife didn't get the money this week," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw; "but as + he thought there might be a mistake somewhere he appeared to me instead + of to you. I've got to take the money by hand." +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I heard," ses Bill; "and mind, if you should lose it or be robbed + of it, let me know at once. D'ye hear? At once!" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, Bill," ses 'is wife. +</p> +<p> + They lay quiet for some time, although Mrs. Burtenshaw still kept + trembling and shaking; and then Bill ses. "Next time a man tells you he + 'as seen a ghost, p'r'aps you'll believe in 'im." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Burtenshaw took out the end of the sheet wot she 'ad stuffed in 'er + mouth when 'e began to speak. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, Bill," she ses. +</p> +<p> + Bill Burtenshaw gave 'er the fifteen shillings next morning and every + Friday night arterwards; and that's 'ow it is that, while other wimmen + 'as to be satisfied looking at new hats and clothes in the shop-winders, + Mrs. Burtenshaw is able to wear 'em. +</p> + +<a name="image-51"><!--IMG--></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="051 (53K)" src="051.jpg" height="446" width="428" /> +</center> +<br><br> + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Keeping Up Appearances, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK KEEPING UP APPEARANCES *** + +***** This file should be named 10792-h.htm or 10792-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/7/9/10792/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Each eBook is in a subdirectory of the same number as the eBook's +eBook number, often in several formats including plain vanilla ASCII, +compressed (zipped), HTML and others. + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks replace the old file and take over +the old filename and etext number. The replaced older file is renamed. +VERSIONS based on separate sources are treated as new eBooks receiving +new filenames and etext numbers. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +EBooks posted prior to November 2003, with eBook numbers BELOW #10000, +are filed in directories based on their release date. If you want to +download any of these eBooks directly, rather than using the regular +search system you may utilize the following addresses and just +download by the etext year. + + https://www.gutenberg.org/etext06 + + (Or /etext 05, 04, 03, 02, 01, 00, 99, + 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90) + +EBooks posted since November 2003, with etext numbers OVER #10000, are +filed in a different way. The year of a release date is no longer part +of the directory path. The path is based on the etext number (which is +identical to the filename). The path to the file is made up of single +digits corresponding to all but the last digit in the filename. For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: + https://www.gutenberg.org/GUTINDEX.ALL + + + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> + |