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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10788 ***
+
+SAILORS' KNOTS
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+1909
+
+
+
+PETER'S PENCE
+
+
+Sailormen don't bother much about their relations, as a rule, said the
+night-watchman; sometimes because a railway-ticket costs as much as a
+barrel o' beer, and they ain't got the money for both, and sometimes
+because most relations run away with the idea that a sailorman has been
+knocking about 'arf over the world just to bring them 'ome presents.
+
+Then, agin, some relations are partikler about appearances, and they
+don't like it if a chap don't wear a collar and tidy 'imself up. Dress
+is everything nowadays; put me in a top 'at and a tail-coat, with a
+twopenny smoke stuck in my mouth, and who would know the difference
+between me and a lord? Put a bishop in my clothes, and you'd ask 'im to
+'ave a 'arf-pint as soon as you would me--sooner, p'r'aps.
+
+[Illustration: "Put a bishop in my clothes, and you'd ask 'im to 'ave a
+'arf-pint as soon as you would me."]
+
+Talking of relations reminds me of Peter Russet's uncle. It's some years
+ago now, and Peter and old Sam Small and Ginger Dick 'ad just come back
+arter being away for nearly ten months. They 'ad all got money in their
+pockets, and they was just talking about the spree they was going to
+have, when a letter was brought to Peter, wot had been waiting for 'im at
+the office.
+
+He didn't like opening it at fust. The last letter he had 'ad kept 'im
+hiding indoors for a week, and then made him ship a fortnight afore 'e
+had meant to. He stood turning it over and over, and at last, arter Sam,
+wot was always a curious man, 'ad told 'im that if he didn't open it he'd
+do it for 'im, he tore it open and read it.
+
+"It's from my old uncle, George Goodman," he ses, staring. "Why, I ain't
+seen 'im for over twenty years."
+
+"Do you owe 'im any money?" ses Sam.
+
+Peter shook his 'ead. "He's up in London," he ses, looking at the letter
+agin, "up in London for the fust time in thirty-three years, and he wants
+to come and stay with me so that I can show 'im about."
+
+"Wot is he?" ses Sam.
+
+"He's retired," ses Peter, trying not to speak proud.
+
+"Got money?" ses Sam, with a start.
+
+"I b'leeve so," ses Peter, in a off-hand way. "I don't s'pose 'e lives
+on air."
+
+"Any wives or children?" ses Sam.
+
+"No," ses Peter. "He 'ad a wife, but she died."
+
+"Then you have 'im, Peter," ses Sam, wot was always looking out for
+money. "Don't throw away a oppertunity like that. Why, if you treat 'im
+well he might leave it all to you."
+
+"No such luck," ses Peter.
+
+"You do as Sam ses," ses Ginger. "I wish I'd got an uncle."
+
+"We'll try and give 'im a good time," ses Sam, "and if he's anything like
+Peter we shall enjoy ourselves."
+
+"Yes; but he ain't," ses Peter. "He's a very solemn, serious-minded man,
+and a strong teetotaller. Wot you'd call a glass o' beer he'd call
+pison. That's 'ow he got on. He's thought a great deal of in 'is place,
+I can tell you, but he ain't my sort."
+
+"That's a bit orkard," ses Sam, scratching his 'ead. "Same time, it
+don't do to throw away a chance. If 'e was my uncle I should pretend to
+be a teetotaller while 'e was here, just to please 'im."
+
+"And when you felt like a drink, Peter," ses Ginger, "me and Sam would
+look arter 'im while you slipped off to get it."
+
+"He could 'ave the room below us," ses Sam. "It is empty."
+
+Peter gave a sniff. "Wot about you and Ginger?" he ses.
+
+"Wot about us?" ses Sam and Ginger, both together.
+
+"Why, you'd 'ave to be teetotallers, too," ses Peter. "Woes the good o'
+me pretending to be steady if 'e sees I've got pals like you?"
+
+Sam scratched his 'ead agin, ever so long, and at last he ses, "Well,
+mate," he ses, "drink don't trouble me nor Ginger. We can do without it,
+as far as that goes; and we must all take it in turns to keep the old
+gentleman busy while the others go and get wot they want. You'd better
+go and take the room downstairs for 'im, afore it goes."
+
+Peter looked at 'im in surprise, but that was Sam all over. The idea o'
+knowing a man with money was too much for 'im, and he sat there giving
+good advice to Peter about 'is behavior until Peter didn't know whether
+it was 'is uncle or Sam's. 'Owever, he took the room and wrote the
+letter, and next arternoon at three o'clock Mr. Goodman came in a four-
+wheel cab with a big bag and a fat umbrella. A short, stiffish-built man
+of about sixty he was, with 'is top lip shaved and a bit o' short gray
+beard. He 'ad on a top 'at and a tail-coat, black kid gloves and a
+little black bow, and he didn't answer the cabman back a single word.
+
+[Illustration: "Mr. Goodman came in a four-wheel cab with a big bag and a
+fat umbrella."]
+
+He seemed quite pleased to see Peter, and by and by Sam, who was bursting
+with curiosity, came down-stairs to ask Peter to lend 'im a boot-lace,
+and was interduced. Then Ginger came down to look for Sam, and in a few
+minutes they was all talking as comfortable as possible.
+
+"I ain't seen Peter for twenty years," ses Mr. Goodman--"twenty long
+years!"
+
+Sam shook his 'ead and looked at the floor.
+
+"I happened to go and see Peter's sister--my niece Polly," ses Mr.
+Goodman, "and she told me the name of 'is ship. It was quite by chance,
+because she told me it was the fust letter she had 'ad from him in seven
+years."
+
+"I didn't think it was so long as that," ses Peter. "Time passes so
+quick."
+
+His uncle nodded. "Ah, so it does," 'e ses. "It's all the same whether
+we spend it on the foaming ocean or pass our little lives ashore. Afore
+we can turn round, in a manner o' speaking, it 'as gorn."
+
+"The main thing," ses Peter, in a good voice, "is to pass it properly."
+
+"Then it don't matter," ses Ginger.
+
+"So it don't," ses Sam, very serious.
+
+"I held 'im in my arms when 'e was a baby," ses Mr. Goodman, looking at
+Peter.
+
+"Fond o' children?" ses Sam.
+
+Mr. Goodman nodded. "Fond of everybody," he ses.
+
+"That's 'ow Peter is," ses Ginger; "specially young----"
+
+Peter Russet and Sam both turned and looked at 'im very sharp.
+
+"Children," ses Ginger, remembering 'imself, "_and_ teetotallers. I
+s'pose it is being a teetotaller 'imself."
+
+"Is Peter a teetotaller?" ses Mr. Goodman. "I'd no idea of it. Wot a
+joyful thing!"
+
+"It was your example wot put it into his 'ead fust, I b'leeve," ses Sam,
+looking at Peter for 'im to notice 'ow clever he was.
+
+"And then, Sam and Ginger Dick being teetotallers too," ses Peter, "we
+all, natural-like, keep together."
+
+Mr. Goodman said they was wise men, and, arter a little more talk, he
+said 'ow would it be if they went out and saw a little bit of the great
+wicked city? They all said they would, and Ginger got quite excited
+about it until he found that it meant London.
+
+They got on a bus at Aldgate, and fust of all they went to the British
+Museum, and when Mr. Goodman was tired o' that--and long arter the others
+was--they went into a place and 'ad a nice strong cup of tea and a piece
+o' cake each. When they come out o' there they all walked about looking
+at the shops until they was tired out, and arter wot Mr. Goodman said was
+a very improving evening they all went 'ome.
+
+Sam and Ginger went 'ome just for the look 'o the thing, and arter
+waiting a few minutes in their room they crept downstairs agin to spend
+wot was left of the evening. They went down as quiet as mice, but, for
+all that, just as they was passing Mr. Goodman's room the door opened,
+and Peter, in a polite voice, asked 'em to step inside.
+
+"We was just thinking you'd be dull up there all alone," he ses.
+
+Sam lost 'is presence o' mind, and afore he knew wot 'e was doing 'im and
+Ginger 'ad walked in and sat down. They sat there for over an hour and a
+'arf talking, and then Sam, with a look at Ginger, said they must be
+going, because he 'ad got to call for a pair o' boots he 'ad left to be
+mended.
+
+"Why, Sam, wot are you thinking of?" ses Peter, who didn't want anybody
+to 'ave wot he couldn't. "Why, the shop's shut."
+
+"I don't think so," ses Sam, glaring at 'im. "Anyway, we can go and
+see."
+
+Peter said he'd go with 'im, and just as they got to the door Mr. Goodman
+said he'd go too. O' course, the shops was shut, and arter Mr. Goodman
+'ad stood on Tower Hill admiring the Tower by moonlight till Sam felt
+ready to drop, they all walked back. Three times Sam's boot-lace come
+undone, but as the ethers all stopped too to see 'im do it up it didn't
+do 'im much good. Wot with temper and dryness 'e could 'ardly bid Peter
+"Good-night."
+
+Sam and Ginger 'ad something the next morning, but morning ain't the time
+for it; and arter they had 'ad dinner Mr. Goodman asked 'em to go to the
+Zoological Gardens with 'im. He paid for them all, and he 'ad a lot to
+say about kindness to animals and 'ow you could do anything with 'em
+a'most by kindness. He walked about the place talking like a book, and
+when a fat monkey, wot was pretending to be asleep, got a bit o' Sam's
+whisker, he said it was on'y instink, and the animal had no wish to do
+'im 'arm.
+
+"Very likely thought it was doing you a kindness, Sam," ses Ginger.
+
+Mr. Goodman said it was very likely, afore Sam could speak, and arter
+walking about and looking at the other things they come out and 'ad a
+nice, strong, 'ot cup o' tea, same as they 'ad the day before, and then
+walked about, not knowing what to do with themselves.
+
+Sam got tired of it fust, and catching Ginger's eye said he thought it
+was time to get 'ome in case too much enjoyment wasn't good for 'em. His
+idea was to get off with Ginger and make a night of it, and when 'e found
+Peter and his uncle was coming too, he began to think that things was
+looking serious.
+
+"I don't want to spile your evening," he says, very perlite. "I must get
+'ome to mend a pair o' trowsis o' mine, but there's no need for you to
+come."
+
+"I'll come and watch you," ses Peter's uncle.
+
+"And then I'm going off to bed early," ses Sam. "Me, too," ses Ginger,
+and Peter said he could hardly keep 'is eyes open.
+
+They got on a bus, and as Sam was about to foller Ginger and Peter on
+top, Mr. Goodman took hold of 'im by the arm and said they'd go inside.
+He paid two penny fares, and while Sam was wondering 'ow to tell 'im that
+it would be threepence each, the bus stopped to take up a passenger and
+he got up and moved to the door.
+
+"They've gone up there," he ses, pointing.
+
+Afore Sam could stop 'im he got off, and Sam, full o' surprise, got off
+too, and follered 'im' on to the pavement.
+
+"Who's gone up there?" he ses, as the bus went on agin.
+
+"Peter and Mr. Ginger Dick," ses Mr. Good-man. "But don't you trouble.
+You go 'ome and mend your trowsis."
+
+"But they're on the bus," ses Sam, staring. "Dick and Peter, I mean."
+
+Mr. Goodman shook his 'ead.
+
+"They got off. Didn't you see 'em?" he ses. "No," ses Sam, "I'll swear
+they didn't."
+
+"Well, it's my mistake, I s'pose," ses Peter's uncle. "But you get off
+home; I'm not tired yet, and I'll walk."
+
+Sam said 'e wasn't very tired, and he walked along wondering whether Mr.
+Goodman was quite right in his 'ead. For one thing, 'e seemed upset
+about something or other, and kept taking little peeps at 'im in a way he
+couldn't understand at all.
+
+"It was nice tea we 'ad this arternoon," ses Mr. Goodman at last.
+
+"De-licious," ses Sam.
+
+"Trust a teetotaller for knowing good tea," ses Mr. Goodman. "I expect
+Peter enjoyed it. I s'pose 'e is a very strict teetotaller?"
+
+"Strict ain't the word for it," ses Sam, trying to do 'is duty by Peter.
+"We all are."
+
+"That's right," ses Mr. Goodman, and he pushed his 'at back and looked at
+Sam very serious. They walked on a bit further, and then Peter's uncle
+stopped sudden just as they was passing a large public-'ouse and looked
+at Sam.
+
+"I don't want Peter to know, 'cos it might alarm 'im," he ses, "but I've
+come over a bit faint. I'll go in 'ere for 'arf a minnit and sit down.
+You'd better wait outside."
+
+"I'll come in with you, in case you want help," ses Sam. "I don't mind
+wot people think."
+
+Mr. Goodman tried to persuade 'im not to, but it was all no good, and at
+last 'e walked in and sat down on a tall stool that stood agin the bar,
+and put his hand to his 'ead.
+
+"I s'pose we shall 'ave to 'ave something," he ses in a whisper to Sam;
+"we can't expect to come in and sit down for nothing. What'll you take?"
+
+Sam looked at 'im, but he might just as well ha' looked at a brass door-
+knob.
+
+"I--I--I'll 'ave a small ginger-beer," he ses at last, "a very small
+one."
+
+"One small ginger," ses Mr. Goodman to the bar-maid, "and one special
+Scotch."
+
+Sam could 'ardly believe his ears, and he stood there 'oldin' his glass
+o' ginger-beer and watching Peter's teetotal uncle drink whiskey, and
+thought 'e must be dreaming.
+
+"I dessay it seems very shocking to you," ses Mr. Goodman, putting down
+'is glass and dryin' 'is lips on each other, "but I find it useful for
+these attacks."
+
+"I--I s'pose the flavor's very nasty?" ses Sam, taking a sip at 'is
+ginger-beer.
+
+"Not exactly wot you could call nasty," ses Mr. Goodman, "though I dessay
+it would seem so to you. I don't suppose you could swallow it."
+
+"I don't s'pose I could," ses Sam, "but I've a good mind to 'ave a try.
+If it's good for one teetotaller I don't see why it should hurt another."
+
+Mr. Goodman looked at 'im very hard, and then he ordered a whiskey and
+stood watching while Sam, arter pretending for a minnit to look at it as
+though 'e didn't know wot to do with it, took a sip and let it roll round
+'is mouth.
+
+"Well?" ses Mr. Goodman, looking at 'im anxious-like.
+
+"It ain't so 'orrid as I 'ad fancied," ses Sam, lap-ping up the rest very
+gentle.
+
+[Illustration: "'It aint so 'orrid as I 'ad fancied.' ses Sam."]
+
+"'Ave you 'ad enough to do you all the good it ought to?"
+
+Mr. Goodman said that it was no good 'arf doing a thing, and p'r'aps he
+'ad better 'ave one more; and arter Sam 'ad paid for the next two they
+went out arm-in-arm.
+
+"'Ow cheerful everybody looks!" ses Mr. Good-man, smiling.
+
+"They're going to amuse theirselves, I expect," ses Sam-- "music-'alls
+and such-like."
+
+Mr. Goodman shook his 'ead at 'em.
+
+"Music-'alls ain't so bad as some people try to make out," ses Sam.
+
+"Look 'ere; I took some drink to see what the flavor was like; suppose
+you go to a music-'all to see wot that's like?"
+
+"It seems on'y fair," ses Peter's uncle, considering.
+
+"It is fair," ses Sam, and twenty minutes arterwards they was sitting in
+a music-'all drinking each other's 'ealths and listening to the songs--
+Mr. Goodman with a big cigar in 'is mouth and his 'at cocked over one
+eye, and Sam beating time to the music with 'is pipe.
+
+"'Ow do you like it?" he ses.
+
+Mr. Goodman didn't answer 'im because 'e was joining in the chorus with
+one side of 'is mouth and keeping 'is cigar alight with the other. He
+just nodded at 'im; but 'e looked so 'appy that Sam felt it was a
+pleasure to sit there and look at 'im.
+
+"I wonder wot Peter and Ginger is doin'?" he ses, when the song was
+finished.
+
+"I don't know," ses Mr. Goodman, "and, wot's more, I don't care. If I'd
+'ad any idea that Peter was like wot he is I should never 'ave wrote to
+'im. I can't think 'ow you can stand 'im."
+
+"He ain't so bad," ses Sam, wondering whether he ought to tell 'im 'arf
+of wot Peter really was like.
+
+"Bad!" ses Mr. Goodman. "I come up to London for a 'oliday--a change,
+mind you--and I thought Peter and me was going to 'ave a good time.
+Instead o' that, he goes about with a face as long as a fiddle. He don't
+drink, 'e don't go to places of amusement--innercent places of amusement
+--and 'is idea of enjoying life is to go walking about the streets and
+drinking cups o' tea."
+
+"We must try and alter 'im," ses Sam, arter doing a bit o' thinking.
+
+"Certainly not," ses Mr. Goodman, laying his 'and on Sam's knee. "Far be
+it from me to interfere with a feller-creature's ideas o' wot's right.
+Besides, he might get writing to 'is sister agin, and she might tell my
+wife."
+
+"But Peter said she was dead," ses Sam, very puzzled.
+
+"I married agin," ses Peter's uncle, in a whisper, 'cos people was
+telling 'im to keep quiet, "a tartar--a perfect tartar. She's in a
+'orsepittle at present, else I shouldn't be 'ere. And I shouldn't ha'
+been able to come if I 'adn't found five pounds wot she'd hid in a
+match-box up the chimbley."
+
+"But wot'll you do when she finds it out?" ses Sam, opening 'is eyes.
+
+"I'm going to 'ave the house cleaned and the chimbleys swept to welcome
+her 'ome," ses Mr. Goodman, taking a sip o' whiskey. "It'll be a little
+surprise for her."
+
+They stayed till it was over, and on the bus he gave Sam some strong
+peppermint lozenges wot 'e always carried about with 'im, and took some
+'imself. He said 'e found 'em helpful.
+
+"What are we going to tell Peter and Ginger?" ses Sam, as they got near
+the 'ouse.
+
+"Tell 'em?" ses Mr. Goodman. "Tell 'em the truth. How we follered 'em
+when they got off the bus, and 'ave been looking for 'em ever since. I'm
+not going to 'ave my 'oliday spoilt by a teetotal nevvy, I can tell you."
+
+He started on Peter, wot was sitting on his bed with Ginger waiting for
+them, the moment he got inside, and all Ginger and Peter could say didn't
+make any difference.
+
+"Mr. Small see you as plain as what I did," he ses.
+
+"Plainer," ses Sam.
+
+"But I tell you we come straight 'ome," ses Ginger, "and we've been
+waiting for you 'ere ever since."
+
+Mr. Goodman shook his 'ead at 'im. "Say no more about it," he ses, in a
+kind voice. "I dessay it's rather tiresome for young men to go about
+with two old ones, and in future, if you and Peter keep together, me and
+my friend Mr. Small will do the same."
+
+Sam shook 'ands with 'im, and though Peter tried his 'ardest to make 'im
+alter his mind it was no good. His uncle patted 'im on the shoulder, and
+said they'd try it for a few days, at any rate, and Ginger, wot thought
+it was a very good idea, backed 'im up. Everybody seemed pleased with
+the idea except Peter Russet, but arter Sam 'ad told 'im in private wot a
+high opinion 'is uncle 'ad got of 'im, and 'ow well off he was, 'e gave
+way.
+
+They all enjoyed the next evening, and Sam and Mr. Goodman got on
+together like twin brothers. They went to a place of amusement every
+night, and the on'y unpleasantness that happened was when Peter's uncle
+knocked a chemist's shop up at a quarter-past twelve one night to buy a
+penn'orth o' peppermint lozenges.
+
+They 'ad four of the 'appiest evenings together that Sam 'ad ever known;
+and Mr. Goodman would 'ave been just as 'appy too if it hadn't ha' been
+for the thoughts o' that five pounds. The more 'e thought of it the more
+unlikely it seemed that 'is wife would blame it on to the sweep, and one
+night he took the match-box out of 'is pocket and shook his 'ead over it
+till Sam felt quite sorry for 'im.
+
+"Don't take up your troubles afore they come," he ses. "Orsepittles are
+dangerous places."
+
+Mr. Goodman cheered up a bit at that, but he got miserable agin the next
+night because 'is money was getting low and he wanted another week in
+London.
+
+"I've got seven shillings and fourpence and two stamps left," he ses.
+"Where it's all gone to I can't think."
+
+"Don't you worry about that," ses Sam. "I've got a pound or two left
+yet."
+
+"No, I ain't going to be a burden on you," ses Mr. Goodman, "but another
+week I must 'ave, so I must get the money somehow. Peter can't spend
+much, the way he goes on."
+
+Sam gave a little cough.
+
+"I'll get a pound or two out of 'im," ses Mr. Goodman.
+
+Sam coughed agin. "Won't he think it rather funny?" he ses, arter a
+bit.
+
+"Not if it's managed properly," ses Mr. Good-man, thinking 'ard. "I'll
+tell you 'ow we'll do it. To-morrow morning, while we are eating of our
+breakfast, you ask me to lend you a pound or two."
+
+Sam, what 'ad just taken up 'is glass for a drink, put it down agin and
+stared at 'im.
+
+"But I don't want no money," he ses; "and, besides, you 'aven't got any."
+
+"You do as I tell you," ses Mr. Goodman, "and when you've got it, you
+hand it over to me, see? Ask me to lend you five pounds."
+
+Sam thought as 'ow the whiskey 'ad got to Mr. Goodman's 'ead at last.
+'Owever, to pacify 'im he promised to do wot 'e was told, and next
+morning, when they was all at breakfast, he looks over and catches Mr.
+Goodman's eye.
+
+"I wonder if I might be so bold as to ask a favor of you?" he ses.
+
+"Certainly," ses Peter's uncle, "and glad I shall be to oblige you.
+There is no man I've got a greater respect for."
+
+"Thankee," ses Sam. "The fact is, I've run a bit short owing to paying a
+man some money I owed 'im. If you could lend me five pounds, I couldn't
+thank you enough."
+
+Mr. Goodman put down 'is knife and fork and wrinkled up 'is forehead.
+
+"I'm very sorry," he ses, feeling in 'is pockets; "do you want it
+to-day?"
+
+"Yes; I should like it," ses Sam.
+
+"It's most annoying," ses Mr. Goodman, "but I was so afraid o'
+pickpockets that I didn't bring much away with me. If you could wait
+till the day arter to-morrow, when my money is sent to me, you can 'ave
+ten if you like."
+
+"You're very kind," ses Sam, "but that 'ud be too late for me. I must
+try and get it somewhere else." Peter and Ginger went on eating their
+breakfast, but every time Peter looked up he caught 'is uncle looking at
+'im in such a surprised and disappointed sort o' way that 'e didn't like
+the look of it at all.
+
+"I could just do it for a couple o' days, Sam," he ses at last, "but
+it'll leave me very short."
+
+"That's right," ses his uncle, smiling. "My nevvy, Peter Russet, will
+lend it to you, Mr. Small, of 'is own free will. He 'as offered afore he
+was asked, and that's the proper way to do it, in my opinion."
+
+He reached acrost the table and shook 'ands with Peter, and said that
+generosity ran in their family, and something seemed to tell 'im as Peter
+wouldn't lose by it. Everybody seemed pleased with each other, and arter
+Ginger Dick and Peter 'ad gone out Mr. Goodman took the five pounds off
+of old Sam and stowed 'em away very careful in the match-box.
+
+[Illustration: "He reached acrost the table and shook 'ands with Peter."]
+
+"It's nice to 'ave money agin," he ses. "There's enough for a week's
+enjoyment here."
+
+"Yes," ses Sam, slow-like; "but wot I want to know is, wot about the day
+arter to-morrow, when Peter expects 'is money?"
+
+Mr. Goodman patted 'im on the shoulder. "Don't you worry about Peter's
+troubles," he ses. "I know exactly wot to do; it's all planned out. Now
+I'm going to 'ave a lay down for an hour--I didn't get much sleep last
+night--and if you'll call me at twelve o'clock we'll go somewhere. Knock
+loud."
+
+He patted 'im on the shoulder agin, and Sam, arter fidgeting about a bit,
+went out. The last time he ever see Peter's uncle he was laying on the
+bed with 'is eyes shut, smiling in his sleep. And Peter Russet didn't
+see Sam for eighteen months.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Peter's Pence, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10788 ***