1 files changed, 450 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/10781-0.txt b/10781-0.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a36a0d7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/10781-0.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,450 @@
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10781 ***
+
+SAILORS' KNOTS
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+1909
+
+
+
+DESERTED
+
+
+"Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night-
+watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been
+advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good job of it; "they've
+got too much sense.  They leave dressing up and making eyesores of
+theirselves to men wot 'ave never smelt salt water; men wot drift up and
+down the river in lighters and get in everybody's way."
+
+He glanced fiercely at the retreating figure of the lighterman, and,
+turning a deaf ear to a request for a lock of his hair to patch a
+favorite doormat with, resumed with much vigor his task of sweeping up
+the litter.
+
+The most dressy sailorman I ever knew, he continued, as he stood the
+broom up in a corner and seated himself on a keg, was a young feller
+named Rupert Brown.  His mother gave 'im the name of Rupert while his
+father was away at sea, and when he came 'ome it was too late to alter
+it.  All that a man could do he did do, and Mrs. Brown 'ad a black eye
+till 'e went to sea agin.  She was a very obstinate woman, though--like
+most of 'em--and a little over a year arterwards got pore old Brown three
+months' hard by naming 'er next boy Roderick Alfonso.
+
+Young Rupert was on a barge when I knew 'im fust, but he got tired of
+always 'aving dirty hands arter a time, and went and enlisted as a
+soldier.  I lost sight of 'im for a while, and then one evening he turned
+up on furlough and come to see me.
+
+O' course, by this time 'e was tired of soldiering, but wot upset 'im
+more than anything was always 'aving to be dressed the same and not being
+able to wear a collar and neck-tie.  He said that if it wasn't for the
+sake of good old England, and the chance o' getting six months, he'd
+desert.  I tried to give 'im good advice, and, if I'd only known 'ow I
+was to be dragged into it, I'd ha' given 'im a lot more.
+
+As it 'appened he deserted the very next arternoon.  He was in the Three
+Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar--which is a place where you get a
+penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it--and, arter being
+told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into
+conversation with another man wot was in there.
+
+He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers
+all smothered in di'mond rings.  He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as
+thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had
+'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account.  He seemed to take a
+fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a
+big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine.
+
+[Illustration: He seemed to take a fancy to Rupert from the fust.]
+
+"Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?" he ses, arter Rupert 'ad
+told 'im of his dislike for the Army.
+
+"No," ses Rupert, staring.
+
+"You s'prise me," ses the big man; "you're wasting of your life by not
+doing so."
+
+"But I can't act," ses Rupert.
+
+"Stuff and nonsense!" ses the big man.  "Don't tell me.  You've got an
+actor's face.  I'm a manager myself, and I know.  I don't mind telling
+you that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only
+yesterday."
+
+"I wonder you don't drop down dead," ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is
+glass to wipe down the counter.
+
+The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a gentleman
+in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter with a pint
+pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them.
+
+"She can't act a bit," he ses.  "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and
+my time is valuable.  I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know
+nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was
+tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my
+company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground."
+
+"Wot about being reckernized?"  ses Rupert.
+
+The manager winked at 'im.  "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a
+whisper.
+
+Rupert started.  "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses.
+
+"A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts--and
+see wot a fine disguise it is."
+
+He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk
+'em, Rupert gave way.  The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that
+if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his
+'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing
+he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore.
+
+They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them
+not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind,
+follered 'im down the Mile End Road.  By and by the manager stopped
+outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with
+savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and,
+arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key
+and went inside.
+
+"That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in.  "This is my wife,
+Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was
+sitting inside sewing.  "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads
+of Europe.  That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the
+Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it
+quiet."
+
+Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a
+room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and
+told 'im to take his clothes off.
+
+"If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know
+wot to do with 'em."
+
+Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his
+uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers
+out.  He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all
+three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world.  Then Mr.
+Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of
+stuff wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over.
+
+"That's the fust coat," he ses.  "Now take a stool in front of the fire
+and let it soak in."
+
+He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled his
+'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists,
+and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could
+wish for to see.  His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and
+even his eyes 'appened to be about the right color.
+
+"He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi.  "Fetch Kumbo in, George."
+
+The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy Zulu
+woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the moment she saw
+Rupert.
+
+"It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you."
+
+"Is--is she an actress?" ses Rupert.
+
+"One o' the best," ses the manager.  "She'll teach you to dance and shy
+assegais.  Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here,
+but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got
+over it a bit."
+
+They sat there while Rupert practised--till he started shying the
+assegais, that is--and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo.
+Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her
+quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like
+when she'd got over her grief a bit more.
+
+The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking
+it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore
+Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd
+got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had paid
+a penny a 'ead.  He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody should
+find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said they'd tear
+'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter a time 'is
+nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey.
+
+They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and
+Rupert felt ready to drop.  His feet was sore with dancing and his throat
+ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was an
+elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her
+umbrella to see whether he could laugh.
+
+[Illustration: An elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the
+ribs with her umbrella.]
+
+They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife
+went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop,
+while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back.
+
+He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving
+fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was better
+at it than Kumbo.  "Not that I should mind 'er knowing much," he ses,
+"seeing that she's took such a fancy to you."
+
+"Ah, I was going to speak to you about that," ses Rupert.  "Forwardness
+is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck
+the whole thing up."
+
+The manager coughed behind his 'and.  "And go back to the Army?" he ses.
+"Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way."
+
+Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er
+mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind.
+
+"If I did," he ses, "you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert."
+
+"Desert!" ses Mr. Alfredi.  "I don't know anything about your deserting."
+
+"Ho!" ses Rupert.  "And wot about my uniform?"
+
+"Uniform?" ses Mr. Alfredi.  "Wot uniform?  I ain't seen no uniform.
+Where is it?"
+
+Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George
+that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go.
+
+"Where to?" ses George.
+
+"I'll find somewhere," ses Rupert.  "I sha'n't starve."
+
+"You might ketch your death o' cold, though," ses George.
+
+Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to be
+asleep.  His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch 'is
+clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw George
+getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about.  He laid
+awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a very heavy
+sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in.
+
+By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate.  He hated being
+black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked.
+He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking
+for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he
+said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints
+about having 'im took up for a deserter.
+
+"I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days," he ses, with a wink,
+"though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an
+actor.  Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a
+couple o' pounds to get some clothes with."
+
+Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for
+another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and
+persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime.
+
+He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give a
+month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at
+all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away
+and ship as a nigger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off.
+
+He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed
+to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it;
+and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up
+in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp.
+
+"He's a very good marketer," he ses, arter George 'ad gone; "he don't
+mind wot trouble he takes.  He'll very likely haggle for hours to get
+sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt."
+
+It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past
+four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get
+them for nothing.  At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at
+ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat.
+
+It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the
+front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his
+'ead.
+
+"Sush a lark," he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady
+'imself.  "I gave 'im shlip."
+
+"Wot d'ye mean?"  ses the manager, shaking him off.  "Gave who the slip?
+Where's them clothes?"
+
+"Boy's got 'em," ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's
+arm.  "Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day--all day.  Now
+I've given 'im the--the shlip, 'stead o'--'stead o' giving 'im fourpence.
+Take care o' the pensh, an' pouns--"
+
+He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy and
+fell fast asleep.  The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but
+there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and
+said that George 'ad been drinking agin.
+
+"Well, wot about my clothes?"  ses Rupert, hardly able to speak.
+
+"P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all," ses the manager.  "Let's try 'is
+pockets."
+
+He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by
+sitting on.  Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some
+bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny in
+coppers.
+
+"Never mind," ses Mr. Alfredi; "I'll go round to the police-station in
+the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there.  I'm disapp'inted in
+George.  I shall tell 'im so, too."
+
+He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert,
+wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George
+and go off in 'is clothes.  He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and
+then he started to take George's coat off.  He got the two top buttons
+undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep.  It surprised
+Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to find
+them two buttons done up agin.  Arter it had 'appened three times he see
+'ow it was, and he come to the belief that George was no more drunk than
+wot he was, and that it was all a put-up thing between 'im and Mr.
+Alfredi.
+
+He went to bed then to think it over, and by the morning he 'ad made up
+his mind to keep quiet and bide his time, as the saying is.  He spoke
+quite cheerful to Mr. Alfredi, and pretended to believe 'im when he said
+that he 'ad been to the police-station about the clothes.
+
+Two days arterwards he thought of something; he remembered me.  He 'ad
+found a dirty old envelope on the floor, and with a bit o' lead pencil he
+wrote me a letter on the back of one o' the bills, telling me all his
+troubles, and asking me to bring some clothes and rescue 'im.  He stuck
+on one of the stamps he 'ad found in George's pocket, and opening the
+door just afore going to bed threw it out on the pavement.
+
+The world is full of officious, interfering busy-bodies.  I should no
+more think of posting a letter that didn't belong to me, with an unused
+stamp on it, than I should think o' flying; but some meddle-some son of a
+----a gun posted that letter and I got it.
+
+I was never more surprised in my life.  He asked me to be outside the
+shop next night at ha'-past eleven with any old clothes I could pick up.
+If I didn't, he said he should 'ang 'imself as the clock struck twelve,
+and that his ghost would sit on the wharf and keep watch with me every
+night for the rest o' my life.  He said he expected it 'ud have a black
+face, same as in life.
+
+A wharf is a lonely place of a night; especially our wharf, which is full
+of dark corners, and, being a silly, good-natured fool, I went.  I got a
+pal off of one of the boats to keep watch for me, and, arter getting some
+old rags off of another sailorman as owed me arf a dollar, I 'ad a drink
+and started off for the Mile End Road.
+
+I found the place easy enough.  The door was just on the jar, and as I
+tapped on it with my finger-nails a wild-looking black man, arf naked,
+opened it and said "H'sh!"  and pulled me inside.  There was a bit o'
+candle on the floor, shaded by a box, and a man fast asleep and snoring
+up in one corner.  Rupert dressed like lightning, and he 'ad just put on
+'is cap when the door at the back opened and a 'orrid fat black woman
+came out and began to chatter.
+
+Rupert told her to hush, and she 'ushed, and then he waved 'is hand to
+'er to say "good-bye," and afore you could say Jack Robinson she 'ad
+grabbed up a bit o' dirty blanket, a bundle of assegais, and a spear, and
+come out arter us.
+
+"Back!"  ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing.
+
+[Illustration: "Back!"  ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing.]
+
+Kumbo shook her 'ead, and then he took hold of 'er and tried to shove 'er
+back, but she wouldn't go.  I lent him a 'and, but all wimmen are the
+same, black or white, and afore I knew where I was she 'ad clawed my cap
+off and scratched me all down one side of the face.
+
+"Walk fast," ses Rupert.
+
+I started to run, but it was all no good; Kumbo kept up with us easy, and
+she was so pleased at being out in the open air that she began to dance
+and play about like a kitten.  Instead o' minding their own business
+people turned and follered us, and quite a crowd collected.
+
+"We shall 'ave the police in a minute," ses Rupert.  "Come in 'ere--
+quick."
+
+He pointed to a pub up a side street, and went in with Kumbo holding on
+to his arm.  The barman was for sending us out at fust, but such a crowd
+follered us in that he altered 'is mind.  I ordered three pints, and,
+while I was 'anding Rupert his, Kumbo finished 'ers and began on mine.
+I tried to explain, but she held on to it like grim death, and in the
+confusion Rupert slipped out.
+
+He 'adn't been gone five seconds afore she missed 'im, and I never see
+anybody so upset in all my life.  She spilt the beer all down the place
+where 'er bodice ought to ha' been, and then she dropped the pot and went
+arter 'im like a hare.  I follered in a different way, and when I got
+round the corner I found she 'ad caught 'im and was holding 'im by the
+arm.
+
+O' course, the crowd was round us agin, and to get rid of 'em I did a
+thing I'd seldom done afore--I called a cab, and we all bundled in and
+drove off to the wharf, with the spear sticking out o' the window, and
+most of the assegais sticking into me.
+
+"This is getting serious," ses Rupert.
+
+"Yes," I ses; "and wot 'ave I done to be dragged into it?  You must ha'
+been paying 'er some attention to make 'er carry on like this."
+
+I thought Rupert would ha' bust, and the things he said to the man wot
+was spending money like water to rescue 'im was disgraceful.
+
+We got to the wharf at last, and I was glad to see that my pal 'ad got
+tired of night-watching and 'ad gone off, leaving the gate open.  Kumbo
+went in 'anging on to Rupert's arm, and I follered with the spear, which
+I 'ad held in my 'and while I paid the cabman.
+
+They went into the office, and Rupert and me talked it over while Kumbo
+kept patting 'is cheek.  He was afraid that the manager would track 'im
+to the wharf, and I was afraid that the guv'nor would find out that I 'ad
+been neglecting my dooty, for the fust time in my life.
+
+We talked all night pretty near, and then, at ha'-past five, arf an hour
+afore the 'ands came on, I made up my mind to fetch a cab and drive 'em
+to my 'ouse.  I wanted Rupert to go somewhere else, but 'e said he 'ad
+got nowhere else to go, and it was the only thing to get 'em off the
+wharf.  I opened the gates at ten minutes to six, and just as the fust
+man come on and walked down the wharf we slipped in and drove away.
+
+We was all tired and yawning.  There's something about the motion of a
+cab or an omnibus that always makes me feel sleepy, and arter a time I
+closed my eyes and went off sound.  I remember I was dreaming that I 'ad
+found a bag o' money, when the cab pulled up with a jerk in front of my
+'ouse and woke me up.  Opposite me sat Kumbo fast asleep, and Rupert 'ad
+disappeared!
+
+I was dazed for a moment, and afore I could do anything Kumbo woke up and
+missed Rupert.  Wot made matters worse than anything was that my missis
+was kneeling down in the passage doing 'er door-step, and 'er face, as I
+got down out o' that cab with Kumbo 'anging on to my arm was something
+too awful for words.  It seemed to rise up slow-like from near the door-
+step, and to go on rising till I thought it 'ud never stop.  And every
+inch it rose it got worse and worse to look at.
+
+[Illustration: She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her
+'ips.]
+
+She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her 'ips, while I
+explained, with Kumbo still 'anging on my arm and a crowd collecting
+behind, and the more I explained, the more I could see she didn't believe
+a word of it.
+
+She never 'as believed it.  I sent for Mr. Alfredi to come and take Kumbo
+away, and when I spoke to 'im about Rupert he said I was dreaming, and
+asked me whether I wasn't ashamed o' myself for carrying off a pore black
+gal wot 'ad got no father or mother to look arter her.  He said that
+afore my missis, and my character 'as been under a cloud ever since,
+waiting for Rupert to turn up and clear it away.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10781 ***