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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/10781-0.txt b/10781-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a36a0d7 --- /dev/null +++ b/10781-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,450 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10781 *** + +SAILORS' KNOTS + +By W.W. Jacobs + + +1909 + + + +DESERTED + + +"Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night- +watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been +advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good job of it; "they've +got too much sense. They leave dressing up and making eyesores of +theirselves to men wot 'ave never smelt salt water; men wot drift up and +down the river in lighters and get in everybody's way." + +He glanced fiercely at the retreating figure of the lighterman, and, +turning a deaf ear to a request for a lock of his hair to patch a +favorite doormat with, resumed with much vigor his task of sweeping up +the litter. + +The most dressy sailorman I ever knew, he continued, as he stood the +broom up in a corner and seated himself on a keg, was a young feller +named Rupert Brown. His mother gave 'im the name of Rupert while his +father was away at sea, and when he came 'ome it was too late to alter +it. All that a man could do he did do, and Mrs. Brown 'ad a black eye +till 'e went to sea agin. She was a very obstinate woman, though--like +most of 'em--and a little over a year arterwards got pore old Brown three +months' hard by naming 'er next boy Roderick Alfonso. + +Young Rupert was on a barge when I knew 'im fust, but he got tired of +always 'aving dirty hands arter a time, and went and enlisted as a +soldier. I lost sight of 'im for a while, and then one evening he turned +up on furlough and come to see me. + +O' course, by this time 'e was tired of soldiering, but wot upset 'im +more than anything was always 'aving to be dressed the same and not being +able to wear a collar and neck-tie. He said that if it wasn't for the +sake of good old England, and the chance o' getting six months, he'd +desert. I tried to give 'im good advice, and, if I'd only known 'ow I +was to be dragged into it, I'd ha' given 'im a lot more. + +As it 'appened he deserted the very next arternoon. He was in the Three +Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar--which is a place where you get a +penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it--and, arter being +told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into +conversation with another man wot was in there. + +He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers +all smothered in di'mond rings. He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as +thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had +'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account. He seemed to take a +fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a +big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine. + +[Illustration: He seemed to take a fancy to Rupert from the fust.] + +"Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?" he ses, arter Rupert 'ad +told 'im of his dislike for the Army. + +"No," ses Rupert, staring. + +"You s'prise me," ses the big man; "you're wasting of your life by not +doing so." + +"But I can't act," ses Rupert. + +"Stuff and nonsense!" ses the big man. "Don't tell me. You've got an +actor's face. I'm a manager myself, and I know. I don't mind telling +you that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only +yesterday." + +"I wonder you don't drop down dead," ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is +glass to wipe down the counter. + +The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a gentleman +in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter with a pint +pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them. + +"She can't act a bit," he ses. "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and +my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know +nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was +tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my +company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground." + +"Wot about being reckernized?" ses Rupert. + +The manager winked at 'im. "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a +whisper. + +Rupert started. "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses. + +"A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts--and +see wot a fine disguise it is." + +He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk +'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that +if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his +'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing +he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore. + +They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them +not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind, +follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager stopped +outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with +savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and, +arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key +and went inside. + +"That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in. "This is my wife, +Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was +sitting inside sewing. "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads +of Europe. That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the +Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it +quiet." + +Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a +room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and +told 'im to take his clothes off. + +"If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know +wot to do with 'em." + +Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his +uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers +out. He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all +three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world. Then Mr. +Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of +stuff wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over. + +"That's the fust coat," he ses. "Now take a stool in front of the fire +and let it soak in." + +He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled his +'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists, +and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could +wish for to see. His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and +even his eyes 'appened to be about the right color. + +"He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi. "Fetch Kumbo in, George." + +The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy Zulu +woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the moment she saw +Rupert. + +"It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you." + +"Is--is she an actress?" ses Rupert. + +"One o' the best," ses the manager. "She'll teach you to dance and shy +assegais. Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here, +but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got +over it a bit." + +They sat there while Rupert practised--till he started shying the +assegais, that is--and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo. +Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her +quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like +when she'd got over her grief a bit more. + +The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking +it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore +Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd +got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had paid +a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody should +find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said they'd tear +'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter a time 'is +nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey. + +They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and +Rupert felt ready to drop. His feet was sore with dancing and his throat +ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was an +elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her +umbrella to see whether he could laugh. + +[Illustration: An elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the +ribs with her umbrella.] + +They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife +went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop, +while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back. + +He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving +fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was better +at it than Kumbo. "Not that I should mind 'er knowing much," he ses, +"seeing that she's took such a fancy to you." + +"Ah, I was going to speak to you about that," ses Rupert. "Forwardness +is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck +the whole thing up." + +The manager coughed behind his 'and. "And go back to the Army?" he ses. +"Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way." + +Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er +mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind. + +"If I did," he ses, "you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert." + +"Desert!" ses Mr. Alfredi. "I don't know anything about your deserting." + +"Ho!" ses Rupert. "And wot about my uniform?" + +"Uniform?" ses Mr. Alfredi. "Wot uniform? I ain't seen no uniform. +Where is it?" + +Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George +that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go. + +"Where to?" ses George. + +"I'll find somewhere," ses Rupert. "I sha'n't starve." + +"You might ketch your death o' cold, though," ses George. + +Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to be +asleep. His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch 'is +clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw George +getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about. He laid +awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a very heavy +sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in. + +By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate. He hated being +black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked. +He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking +for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he +said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints +about having 'im took up for a deserter. + +"I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days," he ses, with a wink, +"though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an +actor. Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a +couple o' pounds to get some clothes with." + +Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for +another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and +persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime. + +He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give a +month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at +all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away +and ship as a nigger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off. + +He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed +to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it; +and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up +in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp. + +"He's a very good marketer," he ses, arter George 'ad gone; "he don't +mind wot trouble he takes. He'll very likely haggle for hours to get +sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt." + +It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past +four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get +them for nothing. At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at +ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat. + +It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the +front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his +'ead. + +"Sush a lark," he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady +'imself. "I gave 'im shlip." + +"Wot d'ye mean?" ses the manager, shaking him off. "Gave who the slip? +Where's them clothes?" + +"Boy's got 'em," ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's +arm. "Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day--all day. Now +I've given 'im the--the shlip, 'stead o'--'stead o' giving 'im fourpence. +Take care o' the pensh, an' pouns--" + +He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy and +fell fast asleep. The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but +there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and +said that George 'ad been drinking agin. + +"Well, wot about my clothes?" ses Rupert, hardly able to speak. + +"P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all," ses the manager. "Let's try 'is +pockets." + +He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by +sitting on. Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some +bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny in +coppers. + +"Never mind," ses Mr. Alfredi; "I'll go round to the police-station in +the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there. I'm disapp'inted in +George. I shall tell 'im so, too." + +He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert, +wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George +and go off in 'is clothes. He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and +then he started to take George's coat off. He got the two top buttons +undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep. It surprised +Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to find +them two buttons done up agin. Arter it had 'appened three times he see +'ow it was, and he come to the belief that George was no more drunk than +wot he was, and that it was all a put-up thing between 'im and Mr. +Alfredi. + +He went to bed then to think it over, and by the morning he 'ad made up +his mind to keep quiet and bide his time, as the saying is. He spoke +quite cheerful to Mr. Alfredi, and pretended to believe 'im when he said +that he 'ad been to the police-station about the clothes. + +Two days arterwards he thought of something; he remembered me. He 'ad +found a dirty old envelope on the floor, and with a bit o' lead pencil he +wrote me a letter on the back of one o' the bills, telling me all his +troubles, and asking me to bring some clothes and rescue 'im. He stuck +on one of the stamps he 'ad found in George's pocket, and opening the +door just afore going to bed threw it out on the pavement. + +The world is full of officious, interfering busy-bodies. I should no +more think of posting a letter that didn't belong to me, with an unused +stamp on it, than I should think o' flying; but some meddle-some son of a +----a gun posted that letter and I got it. + +I was never more surprised in my life. He asked me to be outside the +shop next night at ha'-past eleven with any old clothes I could pick up. +If I didn't, he said he should 'ang 'imself as the clock struck twelve, +and that his ghost would sit on the wharf and keep watch with me every +night for the rest o' my life. He said he expected it 'ud have a black +face, same as in life. + +A wharf is a lonely place of a night; especially our wharf, which is full +of dark corners, and, being a silly, good-natured fool, I went. I got a +pal off of one of the boats to keep watch for me, and, arter getting some +old rags off of another sailorman as owed me arf a dollar, I 'ad a drink +and started off for the Mile End Road. + +I found the place easy enough. The door was just on the jar, and as I +tapped on it with my finger-nails a wild-looking black man, arf naked, +opened it and said "H'sh!" and pulled me inside. There was a bit o' +candle on the floor, shaded by a box, and a man fast asleep and snoring +up in one corner. Rupert dressed like lightning, and he 'ad just put on +'is cap when the door at the back opened and a 'orrid fat black woman +came out and began to chatter. + +Rupert told her to hush, and she 'ushed, and then he waved 'is hand to +'er to say "good-bye," and afore you could say Jack Robinson she 'ad +grabbed up a bit o' dirty blanket, a bundle of assegais, and a spear, and +come out arter us. + +"Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing. + +[Illustration: "Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing.] + +Kumbo shook her 'ead, and then he took hold of 'er and tried to shove 'er +back, but she wouldn't go. I lent him a 'and, but all wimmen are the +same, black or white, and afore I knew where I was she 'ad clawed my cap +off and scratched me all down one side of the face. + +"Walk fast," ses Rupert. + +I started to run, but it was all no good; Kumbo kept up with us easy, and +she was so pleased at being out in the open air that she began to dance +and play about like a kitten. Instead o' minding their own business +people turned and follered us, and quite a crowd collected. + +"We shall 'ave the police in a minute," ses Rupert. "Come in 'ere-- +quick." + +He pointed to a pub up a side street, and went in with Kumbo holding on +to his arm. The barman was for sending us out at fust, but such a crowd +follered us in that he altered 'is mind. I ordered three pints, and, +while I was 'anding Rupert his, Kumbo finished 'ers and began on mine. +I tried to explain, but she held on to it like grim death, and in the +confusion Rupert slipped out. + +He 'adn't been gone five seconds afore she missed 'im, and I never see +anybody so upset in all my life. She spilt the beer all down the place +where 'er bodice ought to ha' been, and then she dropped the pot and went +arter 'im like a hare. I follered in a different way, and when I got +round the corner I found she 'ad caught 'im and was holding 'im by the +arm. + +O' course, the crowd was round us agin, and to get rid of 'em I did a +thing I'd seldom done afore--I called a cab, and we all bundled in and +drove off to the wharf, with the spear sticking out o' the window, and +most of the assegais sticking into me. + +"This is getting serious," ses Rupert. + +"Yes," I ses; "and wot 'ave I done to be dragged into it? You must ha' +been paying 'er some attention to make 'er carry on like this." + +I thought Rupert would ha' bust, and the things he said to the man wot +was spending money like water to rescue 'im was disgraceful. + +We got to the wharf at last, and I was glad to see that my pal 'ad got +tired of night-watching and 'ad gone off, leaving the gate open. Kumbo +went in 'anging on to Rupert's arm, and I follered with the spear, which +I 'ad held in my 'and while I paid the cabman. + +They went into the office, and Rupert and me talked it over while Kumbo +kept patting 'is cheek. He was afraid that the manager would track 'im +to the wharf, and I was afraid that the guv'nor would find out that I 'ad +been neglecting my dooty, for the fust time in my life. + +We talked all night pretty near, and then, at ha'-past five, arf an hour +afore the 'ands came on, I made up my mind to fetch a cab and drive 'em +to my 'ouse. I wanted Rupert to go somewhere else, but 'e said he 'ad +got nowhere else to go, and it was the only thing to get 'em off the +wharf. I opened the gates at ten minutes to six, and just as the fust +man come on and walked down the wharf we slipped in and drove away. + +We was all tired and yawning. There's something about the motion of a +cab or an omnibus that always makes me feel sleepy, and arter a time I +closed my eyes and went off sound. I remember I was dreaming that I 'ad +found a bag o' money, when the cab pulled up with a jerk in front of my +'ouse and woke me up. Opposite me sat Kumbo fast asleep, and Rupert 'ad +disappeared! + +I was dazed for a moment, and afore I could do anything Kumbo woke up and +missed Rupert. Wot made matters worse than anything was that my missis +was kneeling down in the passage doing 'er door-step, and 'er face, as I +got down out o' that cab with Kumbo 'anging on to my arm was something +too awful for words. It seemed to rise up slow-like from near the door- +step, and to go on rising till I thought it 'ud never stop. And every +inch it rose it got worse and worse to look at. + +[Illustration: She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her +'ips.] + +She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her 'ips, while I +explained, with Kumbo still 'anging on my arm and a crowd collecting +behind, and the more I explained, the more I could see she didn't believe +a word of it. + +She never 'as believed it. I sent for Mr. Alfredi to come and take Kumbo +away, and when I spoke to 'im about Rupert he said I was dreaming, and +asked me whether I wasn't ashamed o' myself for carrying off a pore black +gal wot 'ad got no father or mother to look arter her. He said that +afore my missis, and my character 'as been under a cloud ever since, +waiting for Rupert to turn up and clear it away. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. 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Jacobs. +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + * { font-family: Times; + } + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 14pt; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: Courier, monospaced;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 14pt; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Deserted + Sailor's Knots, Part 1. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: January 22, 2004 [EBook #10781] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DESERTED *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<h1> + SAILORS' KNOTS +</h1> +<br /> +<h2> + By W.W. Jacobs +</h2> +<br /><br /> +<h3> + 1909 +</h3> + +<br><br> + +<h2>Part 1.</h2> + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (50K)" src="title.jpg" height="718" width="453" /> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> +<br /> + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-1"> +He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-2"> +An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The +Ribs With Her Umbrella. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-3"> +"Back!" Ses Rupert in a Whisper, Pointing. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-4"> +She Stood Blocking up the Doorway With Her 'ands on Her +'ips. +</a></p> + + + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> + + + +<a name="2H_4_1"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + DESERTED +</h2> +<p> + "Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night- + watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been + advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good job of it; "they've + got too much sense. They leave dressing up and making eyesores of + theirselves to men wot 'ave never smelt salt water; men wot drift up and + down the river in lighters and get in everybody's way." +</p> +<p> + He glanced fiercely at the retreating figure of the lighterman, and, + turning a deaf ear to a request for a lock of his hair to patch a + favorite doormat with, resumed with much vigor his task of sweeping up + the litter. +</p> +<p> + The most dressy sailorman I ever knew, he continued, as he stood the + broom up in a corner and seated himself on a keg, was a young feller + named Rupert Brown. His mother gave 'im the name of Rupert while his + father was away at sea, and when he came 'ome it was too late to alter + it. All that a man could do he did do, and Mrs. Brown 'ad a black eye + till 'e went to sea agin. She was a very obstinate woman, though—like + most of 'em—and a little over a year arterwards got pore old Brown three + months' hard by naming 'er next boy Roderick Alfonso. +</p> +<p> + Young Rupert was on a barge when I knew 'im fust, but he got tired of + always 'aving dirty hands arter a time, and went and enlisted as a + soldier. I lost sight of 'im for a while, and then one evening he turned + up on furlough and come to see me. +</p> +<p> + O' course, by this time 'e was tired of soldiering, but wot upset 'im + more than anything was always 'aving to be dressed the same and not being + able to wear a collar and neck-tie. He said that if it wasn't for the + sake of good old England, and the chance o' getting six months, he'd + desert. I tried to give 'im good advice, and, if I'd only known 'ow I + was to be dragged into it, I'd ha' given 'im a lot more. +</p> +<p> + As it 'appened he deserted the very next arternoon. He was in the Three + Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar—which is a place where you get a + penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it—and, arter being + told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into + conversation with another man wot was in there. +</p> +<p> + He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers + all smothered in di'mond rings. He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as + thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had + 'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account. He seemed to take a + fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a + big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine. +</p> +<a name="image-1"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="001.jpg" height="558" width="417" +alt="He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?" he ses, arter Rupert 'ad + told 'im of his dislike for the Army. +</p> +<p> + "No," ses Rupert, staring. +</p> +<p> + "You s'prise me," ses the big man; "you're wasting of your life by not + doing so." +</p> +<p> + "But I can't act," ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "Stuff and nonsense!" ses the big man. "Don't tell me. You've got an + actor's face. I'm a manager myself, and I know. I don't mind telling + you that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only + yesterday." +</p> +<p> + "I wonder you don't drop down dead," ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is + glass to wipe down the counter. +</p> +<p> + The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a gentleman + in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter with a pint + pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them. +</p> +<p> + "She can't act a bit," he ses. "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and + my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know + nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was + tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my + company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground." +</p> +<p> + "Wot about being reckernized?" ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + The manager winked at 'im. "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a + whisper. +</p> +<p> + Rupert started. "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses. +</p> +<p> + "A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts—and + see wot a fine disguise it is." +</p> +<p> + He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk + 'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that + if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his + 'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing + he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore. +</p> +<p> + They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them + not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind, + follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager stopped + outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with + savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and, + arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key + and went inside. +</p> +<p> + "That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in. "This is my wife, + Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was + sitting inside sewing. "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads + of Europe. That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the + Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it + quiet." +</p> +<p> + Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a + room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and + told 'im to take his clothes off. +</p> +<p> + "If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know + wot to do with 'em." +</p> +<p> + Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his + uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers + out. He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all + three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world. Then Mr. + Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of + stuff wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over. +</p> +<p> + "That's the fust coat," he ses. "Now take a stool in front of the fire + and let it soak in." +</p> +<p> + He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled his + 'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists, + and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could + wish for to see. His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and + even his eyes 'appened to be about the right color. +</p> +<p> + "He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi. "Fetch Kumbo in, George." +</p> +<p> + The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy Zulu + woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the moment she saw + Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you." +</p> +<p> + "Is—is she an actress?" ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "One o' the best," ses the manager. "She'll teach you to dance and shy + assegais. Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here, + but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got + over it a bit." +</p> +<p> + They sat there while Rupert practised—till he started shying the + assegais, that is—and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo. + Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her + quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like + when she'd got over her grief a bit more. +</p> +<p> + The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking + it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore + Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd + got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had paid + a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody should + find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said they'd tear + 'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter a time 'is + nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey. +</p> +<p> + They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and + Rupert felt ready to drop. His feet was sore with dancing and his throat + ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was an + elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her + umbrella to see whether he could laugh. +</p> +<a name="image-2"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="002.jpg" height="621" width="506" +alt="An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The +Ribs With Her Umbrella. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife + went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop, + while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back. +</p> +<p> + He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving + fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was better + at it than Kumbo. "Not that I should mind 'er knowing much," he ses, + "seeing that she's took such a fancy to you." +</p> +<p> + "Ah, I was going to speak to you about that," ses Rupert. "Forwardness + is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck + the whole thing up." +</p> +<p> + The manager coughed behind his 'and. "And go back to the Army?" he ses. + "Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er + mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind. +</p> +<p> + "If I did," he ses, "you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert." +</p> +<p> + "Desert!" ses Mr. Alfredi. "I don't know anything about your deserting." +</p> +<p> + "Ho!" ses Rupert. "And wot about my uniform?" +</p> +<p> + "Uniform?" ses Mr. Alfredi. "Wot uniform? I ain't seen no uniform. + Where is it?" +</p> +<p> + Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George + that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go. +</p> +<p> + "Where to?" ses George. +</p> +<p> + "I'll find somewhere," ses Rupert. "I sha'n't starve." +</p> +<p> + "You might ketch your death o' cold, though," ses George. +</p> +<p> + Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to be + asleep. His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch 'is + clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw George + getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about. He laid + awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a very heavy + sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in. +</p> +<p> + By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate. He hated being + black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked. + He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking + for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he + said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints + about having 'im took up for a deserter. +</p> +<p> + "I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days," he ses, with a wink, + "though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an + actor. Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a + couple o' pounds to get some clothes with." +</p> +<p> + Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for + another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and + persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime. +</p> +<p> + He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give a + month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at + all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away + and ship as a nigger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off. +</p> +<p> + He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed + to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it; + and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up + in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp. +</p> +<p> + "He's a very good marketer," he ses, arter George 'ad gone; "he don't + mind wot trouble he takes. He'll very likely haggle for hours to get + sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt." +</p> +<p> + It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past + four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get + them for nothing. At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at + ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat. +</p> +<p> + It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the + front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his + 'ead. +</p> +<p> + "Sush a lark," he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady + 'imself. "I gave 'im shlip." +</p> +<p> + "Wot d'ye mean?" ses the manager, shaking him off. "Gave who the slip? + Where's them clothes?" +</p> +<p> + "Boy's got 'em," ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's + arm. "Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day—all day. Now + I've given 'im the—the shlip, 'stead o'—'stead o' giving 'im fourpence. + Take care o' the pensh, an' pouns—" +</p> +<p> + He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy and + fell fast asleep. The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but + there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and + said that George 'ad been drinking agin. +</p> +<p> + "Well, wot about my clothes?" ses Rupert, hardly able to speak. +</p> +<p> + "P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all," ses the manager. "Let's try 'is + pockets." +</p> +<p> + He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by + sitting on. Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some + bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny in + coppers. +</p> +<p> + "Never mind," ses Mr. Alfredi; "I'll go round to the police-station in + the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there. I'm disapp'inted in + George. I shall tell 'im so, too." +</p> +<p> + He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert, + wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George + and go off in 'is clothes. He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and + then he started to take George's coat off. He got the two top buttons + undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep. It surprised + Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to find + them two buttons done up agin. Arter it had 'appened three times he see + 'ow it was, and he come to the belief that George was no more drunk than + wot he was, and that it was all a put-up thing between 'im and Mr. + Alfredi. +</p> +<p> + He went to bed then to think it over, and by the morning he 'ad made up + his mind to keep quiet and bide his time, as the saying is. He spoke + quite cheerful to Mr. Alfredi, and pretended to believe 'im when he said + that he 'ad been to the police-station about the clothes. +</p> +<p> + Two days arterwards he thought of something; he remembered me. He 'ad + found a dirty old envelope on the floor, and with a bit o' lead pencil he + wrote me a letter on the back of one o' the bills, telling me all his + troubles, and asking me to bring some clothes and rescue 'im. He stuck + on one of the stamps he 'ad found in George's pocket, and opening the + door just afore going to bed threw it out on the pavement. +</p> +<p> + The world is full of officious, interfering busy-bodies. I should no + more think of posting a letter that didn't belong to me, with an unused + stamp on it, than I should think o' flying; but some meddle-some son of a + ——a gun posted that letter and I got it. +</p> +<p> + I was never more surprised in my life. He asked me to be outside the + shop next night at ha'-past eleven with any old clothes I could pick up. + If I didn't, he said he should 'ang 'imself as the clock struck twelve, + and that his ghost would sit on the wharf and keep watch with me every + night for the rest o' my life. He said he expected it 'ud have a black + face, same as in life. +</p> +<p> + A wharf is a lonely place of a night; especially our wharf, which is full + of dark corners, and, being a silly, good-natured fool, I went. I got a + pal off of one of the boats to keep watch for me, and, arter getting some + old rags off of another sailorman as owed me arf a dollar, I 'ad a drink + and started off for the Mile End Road. +</p> +<p> + I found the place easy enough. The door was just on the jar, and as I + tapped on it with my finger-nails a wild-looking black man, arf naked, + opened it and said "H'sh!" and pulled me inside. There was a bit o' + candle on the floor, shaded by a box, and a man fast asleep and snoring + up in one corner. Rupert dressed like lightning, and he 'ad just put on + 'is cap when the door at the back opened and a 'orrid fat black woman + came out and began to chatter. +</p> +<p> + Rupert told her to hush, and she 'ushed, and then he waved 'is hand to + 'er to say "good-bye," and afore you could say Jack Robinson she 'ad + grabbed up a bit o' dirty blanket, a bundle of assegais, and a spear, and + come out arter us. +</p> +<p> + "Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing. +</p> +<a name="image-3"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="003.jpg" height="503" width="488" +alt="'Back!' Ses Rupert in a Whisper, Pointing. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Kumbo shook her 'ead, and then he took hold of 'er and tried to shove 'er + back, but she wouldn't go. I lent him a 'and, but all wimmen are the + same, black or white, and afore I knew where I was she 'ad clawed my cap + off and scratched me all down one side of the face. +</p> +<p> + "Walk fast," ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + I started to run, but it was all no good; Kumbo kept up with us easy, and + she was so pleased at being out in the open air that she began to dance + and play about like a kitten. Instead o' minding their own business + people turned and follered us, and quite a crowd collected. +</p> +<p> + "We shall 'ave the police in a minute," ses Rupert. "Come in 'ere— + quick." +</p> +<p> + He pointed to a pub up a side street, and went in with Kumbo holding on + to his arm. The barman was for sending us out at fust, but such a crowd + follered us in that he altered 'is mind. I ordered three pints, and, + while I was 'anding Rupert his, Kumbo finished 'ers and began on mine. + I tried to explain, but she held on to it like grim death, and in the + confusion Rupert slipped out. +</p> +<p> + He 'adn't been gone five seconds afore she missed 'im, and I never see + anybody so upset in all my life. She spilt the beer all down the place + where 'er bodice ought to ha' been, and then she dropped the pot and went + arter 'im like a hare. I follered in a different way, and when I got + round the corner I found she 'ad caught 'im and was holding 'im by the + arm. +</p> +<p> + O' course, the crowd was round us agin, and to get rid of 'em I did a + thing I'd seldom done afore—I called a cab, and we all bundled in and + drove off to the wharf, with the spear sticking out o' the window, and + most of the assegais sticking into me. +</p> +<p> + "This is getting serious," ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "Yes," I ses; "and wot 'ave I done to be dragged into it? You must ha' + been paying 'er some attention to make 'er carry on like this." +</p> +<p> + I thought Rupert would ha' bust, and the things he said to the man wot + was spending money like water to rescue 'im was disgraceful. +</p> +<p> + We got to the wharf at last, and I was glad to see that my pal 'ad got + tired of night-watching and 'ad gone off, leaving the gate open. Kumbo + went in 'anging on to Rupert's arm, and I follered with the spear, which + I 'ad held in my 'and while I paid the cabman. +</p> +<p> + They went into the office, and Rupert and me talked it over while Kumbo + kept patting 'is cheek. He was afraid that the manager would track 'im + to the wharf, and I was afraid that the guv'nor would find out that I 'ad + been neglecting my dooty, for the fust time in my life. +</p> +<p> + We talked all night pretty near, and then, at ha'-past five, arf an hour + afore the 'ands came on, I made up my mind to fetch a cab and drive 'em + to my 'ouse. I wanted Rupert to go somewhere else, but 'e said he 'ad + got nowhere else to go, and it was the only thing to get 'em off the + wharf. I opened the gates at ten minutes to six, and just as the fust + man come on and walked down the wharf we slipped in and drove away. +</p> +<p> + We was all tired and yawning. There's something about the motion of a + cab or an omnibus that always makes me feel sleepy, and arter a time I + closed my eyes and went off sound. I remember I was dreaming that I 'ad + found a bag o' money, when the cab pulled up with a jerk in front of my + 'ouse and woke me up. Opposite me sat Kumbo fast asleep, and Rupert 'ad + disappeared! +</p> +<p> + I was dazed for a moment, and afore I could do anything Kumbo woke up and + missed Rupert. Wot made matters worse than anything was that my missis + was kneeling down in the passage doing 'er door-step, and 'er face, as I + got down out o' that cab with Kumbo 'anging on to my arm was something + too awful for words. It seemed to rise up slow-like from near the door- + step, and to go on rising till I thought it 'ud never stop. And every + inch it rose it got worse and worse to look at. +</p> +<a name="image-4"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="004.jpg" height="490" width="448" +alt="She Stood Blocking up the Doorway With Her 'ands on Her +'ips. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her 'ips, while I + explained, with Kumbo still 'anging on my arm and a crowd collecting + behind, and the more I explained, the more I could see she didn't believe + a word of it. +</p> +<p> + She never 'as believed it. I sent for Mr. Alfredi to come and take Kumbo + away, and when I spoke to 'im about Rupert he said I was dreaming, and + asked me whether I wasn't ashamed o' myself for carrying off a pore black + gal wot 'ad got no father or mother to look arter her. He said that + afore my missis, and my character 'as been under a cloud ever since, + waiting for Rupert to turn up and clear it away. +</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DESERTED *** + +***** This file should be named 10781-h.htm or 10781-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/7/8/10781/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Jacobs + +Release Date: January 22, 2004 [EBook #10781] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DESERTED *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +SAILORS' KNOTS + +By W.W. Jacobs + + +1909 + + + +DESERTED + + +"Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night- +watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been +advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good job of it; "they've +got too much sense. They leave dressing up and making eyesores of +theirselves to men wot 'ave never smelt salt water; men wot drift up and +down the river in lighters and get in everybody's way." + +He glanced fiercely at the retreating figure of the lighterman, and, +turning a deaf ear to a request for a lock of his hair to patch a +favorite doormat with, resumed with much vigor his task of sweeping up +the litter. + +The most dressy sailorman I ever knew, he continued, as he stood the +broom up in a corner and seated himself on a keg, was a young feller +named Rupert Brown. His mother gave 'im the name of Rupert while his +father was away at sea, and when he came 'ome it was too late to alter +it. All that a man could do he did do, and Mrs. Brown 'ad a black eye +till 'e went to sea agin. She was a very obstinate woman, though--like +most of 'em--and a little over a year arterwards got pore old Brown three +months' hard by naming 'er next boy Roderick Alfonso. + +Young Rupert was on a barge when I knew 'im fust, but he got tired of +always 'aving dirty hands arter a time, and went and enlisted as a +soldier. I lost sight of 'im for a while, and then one evening he turned +up on furlough and come to see me. + +O' course, by this time 'e was tired of soldiering, but wot upset 'im +more than anything was always 'aving to be dressed the same and not being +able to wear a collar and neck-tie. He said that if it wasn't for the +sake of good old England, and the chance o' getting six months, he'd +desert. I tried to give 'im good advice, and, if I'd only known 'ow I +was to be dragged into it, I'd ha' given 'im a lot more. + +As it 'appened he deserted the very next arternoon. He was in the Three +Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar--which is a place where you get a +penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it--and, arter being +told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into +conversation with another man wot was in there. + +He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers +all smothered in di'mond rings. He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as +thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had +'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account. He seemed to take a +fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a +big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine. + +[Illustration: He seemed to take a fancy to Rupert from the fust.] + +"Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?" he ses, arter Rupert 'ad +told 'im of his dislike for the Army. + +"No," ses Rupert, staring. + +"You s'prise me," ses the big man; "you're wasting of your life by not +doing so." + +"But I can't act," ses Rupert. + +"Stuff and nonsense!" ses the big man. "Don't tell me. You've got an +actor's face. I'm a manager myself, and I know. I don't mind telling +you that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only +yesterday." + +"I wonder you don't drop down dead," ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is +glass to wipe down the counter. + +The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a gentleman +in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter with a pint +pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them. + +"She can't act a bit," he ses. "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and +my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know +nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was +tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my +company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground." + +"Wot about being reckernized?" ses Rupert. + +The manager winked at 'im. "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a +whisper. + +Rupert started. "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses. + +"A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts--and +see wot a fine disguise it is." + +He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk +'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that +if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his +'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing +he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore. + +They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them +not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind, +follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager stopped +outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with +savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and, +arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key +and went inside. + +"That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in. "This is my wife, +Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was +sitting inside sewing. "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads +of Europe. That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the +Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it +quiet." + +Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a +room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and +told 'im to take his clothes off. + +"If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know +wot to do with 'em." + +Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his +uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers +out. He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all +three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world. Then Mr. +Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of +stuff wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over. + +"That's the fust coat," he ses. "Now take a stool in front of the fire +and let it soak in." + +He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled his +'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists, +and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could +wish for to see. His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and +even his eyes 'appened to be about the right color. + +"He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi. "Fetch Kumbo in, George." + +The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy Zulu +woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the moment she saw +Rupert. + +"It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you." + +"Is--is she an actress?" ses Rupert. + +"One o' the best," ses the manager. "She'll teach you to dance and shy +assegais. Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here, +but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got +over it a bit." + +They sat there while Rupert practised--till he started shying the +assegais, that is--and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo. +Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her +quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like +when she'd got over her grief a bit more. + +The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking +it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore +Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd +got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had paid +a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody should +find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said they'd tear +'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter a time 'is +nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey. + +They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and +Rupert felt ready to drop. His feet was sore with dancing and his throat +ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was an +elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her +umbrella to see whether he could laugh. + +[Illustration: An elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the +ribs with her umbrella.] + +They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife +went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop, +while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back. + +He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving +fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was better +at it than Kumbo. "Not that I should mind 'er knowing much," he ses, +"seeing that she's took such a fancy to you." + +"Ah, I was going to speak to you about that," ses Rupert. "Forwardness +is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck +the whole thing up." + +The manager coughed behind his 'and. "And go back to the Army?" he ses. +"Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way." + +Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er +mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind. + +"If I did," he ses, "you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert." + +"Desert!" ses Mr. Alfredi. "I don't know anything about your deserting." + +"Ho!" ses Rupert. "And wot about my uniform?" + +"Uniform?" ses Mr. Alfredi. "Wot uniform? I ain't seen no uniform. +Where is it?" + +Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George +that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go. + +"Where to?" ses George. + +"I'll find somewhere," ses Rupert. "I sha'n't starve." + +"You might ketch your death o' cold, though," ses George. + +Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to be +asleep. His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch 'is +clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw George +getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about. He laid +awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a very heavy +sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in. + +By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate. He hated being +black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked. +He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking +for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he +said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints +about having 'im took up for a deserter. + +"I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days," he ses, with a wink, +"though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an +actor. Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a +couple o' pounds to get some clothes with." + +Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for +another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and +persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime. + +He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give a +month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at +all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away +and ship as a nigger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off. + +He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed +to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it; +and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up +in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp. + +"He's a very good marketer," he ses, arter George 'ad gone; "he don't +mind wot trouble he takes. He'll very likely haggle for hours to get +sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt." + +It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past +four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get +them for nothing. At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at +ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat. + +It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the +front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his +'ead. + +"Sush a lark," he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady +'imself. "I gave 'im shlip." + +"Wot d'ye mean?" ses the manager, shaking him off. "Gave who the slip? +Where's them clothes?" + +"Boy's got 'em," ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's +arm. "Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day--all day. Now +I've given 'im the--the shlip, 'stead o'--'stead o' giving 'im fourpence. +Take care o' the pensh, an' pouns--" + +He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy and +fell fast asleep. The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but +there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and +said that George 'ad been drinking agin. + +"Well, wot about my clothes?" ses Rupert, hardly able to speak. + +"P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all," ses the manager. "Let's try 'is +pockets." + +He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by +sitting on. Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some +bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny in +coppers. + +"Never mind," ses Mr. Alfredi; "I'll go round to the police-station in +the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there. I'm disapp'inted in +George. I shall tell 'im so, too." + +He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert, +wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George +and go off in 'is clothes. He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and +then he started to take George's coat off. He got the two top buttons +undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep. It surprised +Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to find +them two buttons done up agin. Arter it had 'appened three times he see +'ow it was, and he come to the belief that George was no more drunk than +wot he was, and that it was all a put-up thing between 'im and Mr. +Alfredi. + +He went to bed then to think it over, and by the morning he 'ad made up +his mind to keep quiet and bide his time, as the saying is. He spoke +quite cheerful to Mr. Alfredi, and pretended to believe 'im when he said +that he 'ad been to the police-station about the clothes. + +Two days arterwards he thought of something; he remembered me. He 'ad +found a dirty old envelope on the floor, and with a bit o' lead pencil he +wrote me a letter on the back of one o' the bills, telling me all his +troubles, and asking me to bring some clothes and rescue 'im. He stuck +on one of the stamps he 'ad found in George's pocket, and opening the +door just afore going to bed threw it out on the pavement. + +The world is full of officious, interfering busy-bodies. I should no +more think of posting a letter that didn't belong to me, with an unused +stamp on it, than I should think o' flying; but some meddle-some son of a +----a gun posted that letter and I got it. + +I was never more surprised in my life. He asked me to be outside the +shop next night at ha'-past eleven with any old clothes I could pick up. +If I didn't, he said he should 'ang 'imself as the clock struck twelve, +and that his ghost would sit on the wharf and keep watch with me every +night for the rest o' my life. He said he expected it 'ud have a black +face, same as in life. + +A wharf is a lonely place of a night; especially our wharf, which is full +of dark corners, and, being a silly, good-natured fool, I went. I got a +pal off of one of the boats to keep watch for me, and, arter getting some +old rags off of another sailorman as owed me arf a dollar, I 'ad a drink +and started off for the Mile End Road. + +I found the place easy enough. The door was just on the jar, and as I +tapped on it with my finger-nails a wild-looking black man, arf naked, +opened it and said "H'sh!" and pulled me inside. There was a bit o' +candle on the floor, shaded by a box, and a man fast asleep and snoring +up in one corner. Rupert dressed like lightning, and he 'ad just put on +'is cap when the door at the back opened and a 'orrid fat black woman +came out and began to chatter. + +Rupert told her to hush, and she 'ushed, and then he waved 'is hand to +'er to say "good-bye," and afore you could say Jack Robinson she 'ad +grabbed up a bit o' dirty blanket, a bundle of assegais, and a spear, and +come out arter us. + +"Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing. + +[Illustration: "Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing.] + +Kumbo shook her 'ead, and then he took hold of 'er and tried to shove 'er +back, but she wouldn't go. I lent him a 'and, but all wimmen are the +same, black or white, and afore I knew where I was she 'ad clawed my cap +off and scratched me all down one side of the face. + +"Walk fast," ses Rupert. + +I started to run, but it was all no good; Kumbo kept up with us easy, and +she was so pleased at being out in the open air that she began to dance +and play about like a kitten. Instead o' minding their own business +people turned and follered us, and quite a crowd collected. + +"We shall 'ave the police in a minute," ses Rupert. "Come in 'ere-- +quick." + +He pointed to a pub up a side street, and went in with Kumbo holding on +to his arm. The barman was for sending us out at fust, but such a crowd +follered us in that he altered 'is mind. I ordered three pints, and, +while I was 'anding Rupert his, Kumbo finished 'ers and began on mine. +I tried to explain, but she held on to it like grim death, and in the +confusion Rupert slipped out. + +He 'adn't been gone five seconds afore she missed 'im, and I never see +anybody so upset in all my life. She spilt the beer all down the place +where 'er bodice ought to ha' been, and then she dropped the pot and went +arter 'im like a hare. I follered in a different way, and when I got +round the corner I found she 'ad caught 'im and was holding 'im by the +arm. + +O' course, the crowd was round us agin, and to get rid of 'em I did a +thing I'd seldom done afore--I called a cab, and we all bundled in and +drove off to the wharf, with the spear sticking out o' the window, and +most of the assegais sticking into me. + +"This is getting serious," ses Rupert. + +"Yes," I ses; "and wot 'ave I done to be dragged into it? You must ha' +been paying 'er some attention to make 'er carry on like this." + +I thought Rupert would ha' bust, and the things he said to the man wot +was spending money like water to rescue 'im was disgraceful. + +We got to the wharf at last, and I was glad to see that my pal 'ad got +tired of night-watching and 'ad gone off, leaving the gate open. Kumbo +went in 'anging on to Rupert's arm, and I follered with the spear, which +I 'ad held in my 'and while I paid the cabman. + +They went into the office, and Rupert and me talked it over while Kumbo +kept patting 'is cheek. He was afraid that the manager would track 'im +to the wharf, and I was afraid that the guv'nor would find out that I 'ad +been neglecting my dooty, for the fust time in my life. + +We talked all night pretty near, and then, at ha'-past five, arf an hour +afore the 'ands came on, I made up my mind to fetch a cab and drive 'em +to my 'ouse. I wanted Rupert to go somewhere else, but 'e said he 'ad +got nowhere else to go, and it was the only thing to get 'em off the +wharf. I opened the gates at ten minutes to six, and just as the fust +man come on and walked down the wharf we slipped in and drove away. + +We was all tired and yawning. There's something about the motion of a +cab or an omnibus that always makes me feel sleepy, and arter a time I +closed my eyes and went off sound. I remember I was dreaming that I 'ad +found a bag o' money, when the cab pulled up with a jerk in front of my +'ouse and woke me up. Opposite me sat Kumbo fast asleep, and Rupert 'ad +disappeared! + +I was dazed for a moment, and afore I could do anything Kumbo woke up and +missed Rupert. Wot made matters worse than anything was that my missis +was kneeling down in the passage doing 'er door-step, and 'er face, as I +got down out o' that cab with Kumbo 'anging on to my arm was something +too awful for words. It seemed to rise up slow-like from near the door- +step, and to go on rising till I thought it 'ud never stop. And every +inch it rose it got worse and worse to look at. + +[Illustration: She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her +'ips.] + +She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her 'ips, while I +explained, with Kumbo still 'anging on my arm and a crowd collecting +behind, and the more I explained, the more I could see she didn't believe +a word of it. + +She never 'as believed it. I sent for Mr. Alfredi to come and take Kumbo +away, and when I spoke to 'im about Rupert he said I was dreaming, and +asked me whether I wasn't ashamed o' myself for carrying off a pore black +gal wot 'ad got no father or mother to look arter her. He said that +afore my missis, and my character 'as been under a cloud ever since, +waiting for Rupert to turn up and clear it away. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. 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Jacobs. +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + * { font-family: Times; + } + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 14pt; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: Courier, monospaced;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 14pt; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Deserted + Sailor's Knots, Part 1. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: January 22, 2004 [EBook #10781] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DESERTED *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<h1> + SAILORS' KNOTS +</h1> +<br /> +<h2> + By W.W. Jacobs +</h2> +<br /><br /> +<h3> + 1909 +</h3> + +<br><br> + +<h2>Part 1.</h2> + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (50K)" src="title.jpg" height="718" width="453" /> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> +<br /> + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-1"> +He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-2"> +An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The +Ribs With Her Umbrella. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-3"> +"Back!" Ses Rupert in a Whisper, Pointing. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-4"> +She Stood Blocking up the Doorway With Her 'ands on Her +'ips. +</a></p> + + + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> + + + +<a name="2H_4_1"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + DESERTED +</h2> +<p> + "Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night- + watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been + advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good job of it; "they've + got too much sense. They leave dressing up and making eyesores of + theirselves to men wot 'ave never smelt salt water; men wot drift up and + down the river in lighters and get in everybody's way." +</p> +<p> + He glanced fiercely at the retreating figure of the lighterman, and, + turning a deaf ear to a request for a lock of his hair to patch a + favorite doormat with, resumed with much vigor his task of sweeping up + the litter. +</p> +<p> + The most dressy sailorman I ever knew, he continued, as he stood the + broom up in a corner and seated himself on a keg, was a young feller + named Rupert Brown. His mother gave 'im the name of Rupert while his + father was away at sea, and when he came 'ome it was too late to alter + it. All that a man could do he did do, and Mrs. Brown 'ad a black eye + till 'e went to sea agin. She was a very obstinate woman, though—like + most of 'em—and a little over a year arterwards got pore old Brown three + months' hard by naming 'er next boy Roderick Alfonso. +</p> +<p> + Young Rupert was on a barge when I knew 'im fust, but he got tired of + always 'aving dirty hands arter a time, and went and enlisted as a + soldier. I lost sight of 'im for a while, and then one evening he turned + up on furlough and come to see me. +</p> +<p> + O' course, by this time 'e was tired of soldiering, but wot upset 'im + more than anything was always 'aving to be dressed the same and not being + able to wear a collar and neck-tie. He said that if it wasn't for the + sake of good old England, and the chance o' getting six months, he'd + desert. I tried to give 'im good advice, and, if I'd only known 'ow I + was to be dragged into it, I'd ha' given 'im a lot more. +</p> +<p> + As it 'appened he deserted the very next arternoon. He was in the Three + Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar—which is a place where you get a + penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it—and, arter being + told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into + conversation with another man wot was in there. +</p> +<p> + He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers + all smothered in di'mond rings. He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as + thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had + 'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account. He seemed to take a + fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a + big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine. +</p> +<a name="image-1"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="001.jpg" height="558" width="417" +alt="He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?" he ses, arter Rupert 'ad + told 'im of his dislike for the Army. +</p> +<p> + "No," ses Rupert, staring. +</p> +<p> + "You s'prise me," ses the big man; "you're wasting of your life by not + doing so." +</p> +<p> + "But I can't act," ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "Stuff and nonsense!" ses the big man. "Don't tell me. You've got an + actor's face. I'm a manager myself, and I know. I don't mind telling + you that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only + yesterday." +</p> +<p> + "I wonder you don't drop down dead," ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is + glass to wipe down the counter. +</p> +<p> + The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a gentleman + in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter with a pint + pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them. +</p> +<p> + "She can't act a bit," he ses. "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and + my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know + nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was + tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my + company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground." +</p> +<p> + "Wot about being reckernized?" ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + The manager winked at 'im. "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a + whisper. +</p> +<p> + Rupert started. "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses. +</p> +<p> + "A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts—and + see wot a fine disguise it is." +</p> +<p> + He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk + 'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that + if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his + 'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing + he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore. +</p> +<p> + They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them + not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind, + follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager stopped + outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with + savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and, + arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key + and went inside. +</p> +<p> + "That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in. "This is my wife, + Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was + sitting inside sewing. "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads + of Europe. That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the + Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it + quiet." +</p> +<p> + Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a + room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and + told 'im to take his clothes off. +</p> +<p> + "If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know + wot to do with 'em." +</p> +<p> + Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his + uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers + out. He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all + three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world. Then Mr. + Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of + stuff wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over. +</p> +<p> + "That's the fust coat," he ses. "Now take a stool in front of the fire + and let it soak in." +</p> +<p> + He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled his + 'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists, + and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could + wish for to see. His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and + even his eyes 'appened to be about the right color. +</p> +<p> + "He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi. "Fetch Kumbo in, George." +</p> +<p> + The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy Zulu + woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the moment she saw + Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you." +</p> +<p> + "Is—is she an actress?" ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "One o' the best," ses the manager. "She'll teach you to dance and shy + assegais. Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here, + but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got + over it a bit." +</p> +<p> + They sat there while Rupert practised—till he started shying the + assegais, that is—and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo. + Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her + quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like + when she'd got over her grief a bit more. +</p> +<p> + The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking + it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore + Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd + got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had paid + a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody should + find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said they'd tear + 'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter a time 'is + nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey. +</p> +<p> + They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and + Rupert felt ready to drop. His feet was sore with dancing and his throat + ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was an + elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her + umbrella to see whether he could laugh. +</p> +<a name="image-2"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="002.jpg" height="621" width="506" +alt="An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The +Ribs With Her Umbrella. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife + went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop, + while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back. +</p> +<p> + He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving + fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was better + at it than Kumbo. "Not that I should mind 'er knowing much," he ses, + "seeing that she's took such a fancy to you." +</p> +<p> + "Ah, I was going to speak to you about that," ses Rupert. "Forwardness + is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck + the whole thing up." +</p> +<p> + The manager coughed behind his 'and. "And go back to the Army?" he ses. + "Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er + mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind. +</p> +<p> + "If I did," he ses, "you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert." +</p> +<p> + "Desert!" ses Mr. Alfredi. "I don't know anything about your deserting." +</p> +<p> + "Ho!" ses Rupert. "And wot about my uniform?" +</p> +<p> + "Uniform?" ses Mr. Alfredi. "Wot uniform? I ain't seen no uniform. + Where is it?" +</p> +<p> + Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George + that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go. +</p> +<p> + "Where to?" ses George. +</p> +<p> + "I'll find somewhere," ses Rupert. "I sha'n't starve." +</p> +<p> + "You might ketch your death o' cold, though," ses George. +</p> +<p> + Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to be + asleep. His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch 'is + clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw George + getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about. He laid + awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a very heavy + sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in. +</p> +<p> + By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate. He hated being + black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked. + He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking + for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he + said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints + about having 'im took up for a deserter. +</p> +<p> + "I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days," he ses, with a wink, + "though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an + actor. Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a + couple o' pounds to get some clothes with." +</p> +<p> + Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for + another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and + persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime. +</p> +<p> + He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give a + month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at + all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away + and ship as a nigger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off. +</p> +<p> + He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed + to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it; + and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up + in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp. +</p> +<p> + "He's a very good marketer," he ses, arter George 'ad gone; "he don't + mind wot trouble he takes. He'll very likely haggle for hours to get + sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt." +</p> +<p> + It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past + four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get + them for nothing. At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at + ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat. +</p> +<p> + It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the + front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his + 'ead. +</p> +<p> + "Sush a lark," he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady + 'imself. "I gave 'im shlip." +</p> +<p> + "Wot d'ye mean?" ses the manager, shaking him off. "Gave who the slip? + Where's them clothes?" +</p> +<p> + "Boy's got 'em," ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's + arm. "Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day—all day. Now + I've given 'im the—the shlip, 'stead o'—'stead o' giving 'im fourpence. + Take care o' the pensh, an' pouns—" +</p> +<p> + He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy and + fell fast asleep. The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but + there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and + said that George 'ad been drinking agin. +</p> +<p> + "Well, wot about my clothes?" ses Rupert, hardly able to speak. +</p> +<p> + "P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all," ses the manager. "Let's try 'is + pockets." +</p> +<p> + He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by + sitting on. Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some + bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny in + coppers. +</p> +<p> + "Never mind," ses Mr. Alfredi; "I'll go round to the police-station in + the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there. I'm disapp'inted in + George. I shall tell 'im so, too." +</p> +<p> + He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert, + wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George + and go off in 'is clothes. He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and + then he started to take George's coat off. He got the two top buttons + undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep. It surprised + Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to find + them two buttons done up agin. Arter it had 'appened three times he see + 'ow it was, and he come to the belief that George was no more drunk than + wot he was, and that it was all a put-up thing between 'im and Mr. + Alfredi. +</p> +<p> + He went to bed then to think it over, and by the morning he 'ad made up + his mind to keep quiet and bide his time, as the saying is. He spoke + quite cheerful to Mr. Alfredi, and pretended to believe 'im when he said + that he 'ad been to the police-station about the clothes. +</p> +<p> + Two days arterwards he thought of something; he remembered me. He 'ad + found a dirty old envelope on the floor, and with a bit o' lead pencil he + wrote me a letter on the back of one o' the bills, telling me all his + troubles, and asking me to bring some clothes and rescue 'im. He stuck + on one of the stamps he 'ad found in George's pocket, and opening the + door just afore going to bed threw it out on the pavement. +</p> +<p> + The world is full of officious, interfering busy-bodies. I should no + more think of posting a letter that didn't belong to me, with an unused + stamp on it, than I should think o' flying; but some meddle-some son of a + ——a gun posted that letter and I got it. +</p> +<p> + I was never more surprised in my life. He asked me to be outside the + shop next night at ha'-past eleven with any old clothes I could pick up. + If I didn't, he said he should 'ang 'imself as the clock struck twelve, + and that his ghost would sit on the wharf and keep watch with me every + night for the rest o' my life. He said he expected it 'ud have a black + face, same as in life. +</p> +<p> + A wharf is a lonely place of a night; especially our wharf, which is full + of dark corners, and, being a silly, good-natured fool, I went. I got a + pal off of one of the boats to keep watch for me, and, arter getting some + old rags off of another sailorman as owed me arf a dollar, I 'ad a drink + and started off for the Mile End Road. +</p> +<p> + I found the place easy enough. The door was just on the jar, and as I + tapped on it with my finger-nails a wild-looking black man, arf naked, + opened it and said "H'sh!" and pulled me inside. There was a bit o' + candle on the floor, shaded by a box, and a man fast asleep and snoring + up in one corner. Rupert dressed like lightning, and he 'ad just put on + 'is cap when the door at the back opened and a 'orrid fat black woman + came out and began to chatter. +</p> +<p> + Rupert told her to hush, and she 'ushed, and then he waved 'is hand to + 'er to say "good-bye," and afore you could say Jack Robinson she 'ad + grabbed up a bit o' dirty blanket, a bundle of assegais, and a spear, and + come out arter us. +</p> +<p> + "Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing. +</p> +<a name="image-3"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="003.jpg" height="503" width="488" +alt="'Back!' Ses Rupert in a Whisper, Pointing. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Kumbo shook her 'ead, and then he took hold of 'er and tried to shove 'er + back, but she wouldn't go. I lent him a 'and, but all wimmen are the + same, black or white, and afore I knew where I was she 'ad clawed my cap + off and scratched me all down one side of the face. +</p> +<p> + "Walk fast," ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + I started to run, but it was all no good; Kumbo kept up with us easy, and + she was so pleased at being out in the open air that she began to dance + and play about like a kitten. Instead o' minding their own business + people turned and follered us, and quite a crowd collected. +</p> +<p> + "We shall 'ave the police in a minute," ses Rupert. "Come in 'ere— + quick." +</p> +<p> + He pointed to a pub up a side street, and went in with Kumbo holding on + to his arm. The barman was for sending us out at fust, but such a crowd + follered us in that he altered 'is mind. I ordered three pints, and, + while I was 'anding Rupert his, Kumbo finished 'ers and began on mine. + I tried to explain, but she held on to it like grim death, and in the + confusion Rupert slipped out. +</p> +<p> + He 'adn't been gone five seconds afore she missed 'im, and I never see + anybody so upset in all my life. She spilt the beer all down the place + where 'er bodice ought to ha' been, and then she dropped the pot and went + arter 'im like a hare. I follered in a different way, and when I got + round the corner I found she 'ad caught 'im and was holding 'im by the + arm. +</p> +<p> + O' course, the crowd was round us agin, and to get rid of 'em I did a + thing I'd seldom done afore—I called a cab, and we all bundled in and + drove off to the wharf, with the spear sticking out o' the window, and + most of the assegais sticking into me. +</p> +<p> + "This is getting serious," ses Rupert. +</p> +<p> + "Yes," I ses; "and wot 'ave I done to be dragged into it? You must ha' + been paying 'er some attention to make 'er carry on like this." +</p> +<p> + I thought Rupert would ha' bust, and the things he said to the man wot + was spending money like water to rescue 'im was disgraceful. +</p> +<p> + We got to the wharf at last, and I was glad to see that my pal 'ad got + tired of night-watching and 'ad gone off, leaving the gate open. Kumbo + went in 'anging on to Rupert's arm, and I follered with the spear, which + I 'ad held in my 'and while I paid the cabman. +</p> +<p> + They went into the office, and Rupert and me talked it over while Kumbo + kept patting 'is cheek. He was afraid that the manager would track 'im + to the wharf, and I was afraid that the guv'nor would find out that I 'ad + been neglecting my dooty, for the fust time in my life. +</p> +<p> + We talked all night pretty near, and then, at ha'-past five, arf an hour + afore the 'ands came on, I made up my mind to fetch a cab and drive 'em + to my 'ouse. I wanted Rupert to go somewhere else, but 'e said he 'ad + got nowhere else to go, and it was the only thing to get 'em off the + wharf. I opened the gates at ten minutes to six, and just as the fust + man come on and walked down the wharf we slipped in and drove away. +</p> +<p> + We was all tired and yawning. There's something about the motion of a + cab or an omnibus that always makes me feel sleepy, and arter a time I + closed my eyes and went off sound. I remember I was dreaming that I 'ad + found a bag o' money, when the cab pulled up with a jerk in front of my + 'ouse and woke me up. Opposite me sat Kumbo fast asleep, and Rupert 'ad + disappeared! +</p> +<p> + I was dazed for a moment, and afore I could do anything Kumbo woke up and + missed Rupert. Wot made matters worse than anything was that my missis + was kneeling down in the passage doing 'er door-step, and 'er face, as I + got down out o' that cab with Kumbo 'anging on to my arm was something + too awful for words. It seemed to rise up slow-like from near the door- + step, and to go on rising till I thought it 'ud never stop. And every + inch it rose it got worse and worse to look at. +</p> +<a name="image-4"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="004.jpg" height="490" width="448" +alt="She Stood Blocking up the Doorway With Her 'ands on Her +'ips. +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her 'ips, while I + explained, with Kumbo still 'anging on my arm and a crowd collecting + behind, and the more I explained, the more I could see she didn't believe + a word of it. +</p> +<p> + She never 'as believed it. I sent for Mr. Alfredi to come and take Kumbo + away, and when I spoke to 'im about Rupert he said I was dreaming, and + asked me whether I wasn't ashamed o' myself for carrying off a pore black + gal wot 'ad got no father or mother to look arter her. He said that + afore my missis, and my character 'as been under a cloud ever since, + waiting for Rupert to turn up and clear it away. +</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DESERTED *** + +***** This file should be named 10781-h.htm or 10781-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/7/8/10781/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Jacobs + +Release Date: January 22, 2004 [EBook #10781] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DESERTED *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +SAILORS' KNOTS + +By W.W. Jacobs + + +1909 + + + +DESERTED + + +"Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night- +watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been +advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good job of it; "they've +got too much sense. They leave dressing up and making eyesores of +theirselves to men wot 'ave never smelt salt water; men wot drift up and +down the river in lighters and get in everybody's way." + +He glanced fiercely at the retreating figure of the lighterman, and, +turning a deaf ear to a request for a lock of his hair to patch a +favorite doormat with, resumed with much vigor his task of sweeping up +the litter. + +The most dressy sailorman I ever knew, he continued, as he stood the +broom up in a corner and seated himself on a keg, was a young feller +named Rupert Brown. His mother gave 'im the name of Rupert while his +father was away at sea, and when he came 'ome it was too late to alter +it. All that a man could do he did do, and Mrs. Brown 'ad a black eye +till 'e went to sea agin. She was a very obstinate woman, though--like +most of 'em--and a little over a year arterwards got pore old Brown three +months' hard by naming 'er next boy Roderick Alfonso. + +Young Rupert was on a barge when I knew 'im fust, but he got tired of +always 'aving dirty hands arter a time, and went and enlisted as a +soldier. I lost sight of 'im for a while, and then one evening he turned +up on furlough and come to see me. + +O' course, by this time 'e was tired of soldiering, but wot upset 'im +more than anything was always 'aving to be dressed the same and not being +able to wear a collar and neck-tie. He said that if it wasn't for the +sake of good old England, and the chance o' getting six months, he'd +desert. I tried to give 'im good advice, and, if I'd only known 'ow I +was to be dragged into it, I'd ha' given 'im a lot more. + +As it 'appened he deserted the very next arternoon. He was in the Three +Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar--which is a place where you get a +penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it--and, arter being +told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into +conversation with another man wot was in there. + +He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers +all smothered in di'mond rings. He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as +thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had +'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account. He seemed to take a +fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a +big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine. + +[Illustration: He seemed to take a fancy to Rupert from the fust.] + +"Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?" he ses, arter Rupert 'ad +told 'im of his dislike for the Army. + +"No," ses Rupert, staring. + +"You s'prise me," ses the big man; "you're wasting of your life by not +doing so." + +"But I can't act," ses Rupert. + +"Stuff and nonsense!" ses the big man. "Don't tell me. You've got an +actor's face. I'm a manager myself, and I know. I don't mind telling +you that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only +yesterday." + +"I wonder you don't drop down dead," ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is +glass to wipe down the counter. + +The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a gentleman +in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter with a pint +pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them. + +"She can't act a bit," he ses. "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and +my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know +nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was +tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my +company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground." + +"Wot about being reckernized?" ses Rupert. + +The manager winked at 'im. "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a +whisper. + +Rupert started. "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses. + +"A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts--and +see wot a fine disguise it is." + +He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk +'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that +if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his +'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing +he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore. + +They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them +not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind, +follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager stopped +outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with +savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and, +arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key +and went inside. + +"That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in. "This is my wife, +Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was +sitting inside sewing. "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads +of Europe. That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the +Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it +quiet." + +Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a +room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and +told 'im to take his clothes off. + +"If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know +wot to do with 'em." + +Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his +uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers +out. He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all +three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world. Then Mr. +Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of +stuff wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over. + +"That's the fust coat," he ses. "Now take a stool in front of the fire +and let it soak in." + +He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled his +'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists, +and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could +wish for to see. His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and +even his eyes 'appened to be about the right color. + +"He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi. "Fetch Kumbo in, George." + +The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy Zulu +woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the moment she saw +Rupert. + +"It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you." + +"Is--is she an actress?" ses Rupert. + +"One o' the best," ses the manager. "She'll teach you to dance and shy +assegais. Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here, +but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got +over it a bit." + +They sat there while Rupert practised--till he started shying the +assegais, that is--and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo. +Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her +quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like +when she'd got over her grief a bit more. + +The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking +it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore +Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd +got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had paid +a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody should +find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said they'd tear +'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter a time 'is +nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey. + +They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and +Rupert felt ready to drop. His feet was sore with dancing and his throat +ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was an +elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her +umbrella to see whether he could laugh. + +[Illustration: An elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the +ribs with her umbrella.] + +They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife +went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop, +while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back. + +He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving +fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was better +at it than Kumbo. "Not that I should mind 'er knowing much," he ses, +"seeing that she's took such a fancy to you." + +"Ah, I was going to speak to you about that," ses Rupert. "Forwardness +is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck +the whole thing up." + +The manager coughed behind his 'and. "And go back to the Army?" he ses. +"Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way." + +Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er +mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind. + +"If I did," he ses, "you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert." + +"Desert!" ses Mr. Alfredi. "I don't know anything about your deserting." + +"Ho!" ses Rupert. "And wot about my uniform?" + +"Uniform?" ses Mr. Alfredi. "Wot uniform? I ain't seen no uniform. +Where is it?" + +Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George +that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go. + +"Where to?" ses George. + +"I'll find somewhere," ses Rupert. "I sha'n't starve." + +"You might ketch your death o' cold, though," ses George. + +Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to be +asleep. His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch 'is +clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw George +getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about. He laid +awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a very heavy +sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in. + +By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate. He hated being +black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked. +He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking +for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he +said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints +about having 'im took up for a deserter. + +"I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days," he ses, with a wink, +"though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an +actor. Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a +couple o' pounds to get some clothes with." + +Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for +another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and +persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime. + +He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give a +month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at +all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away +and ship as a nigger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off. + +He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed +to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it; +and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up +in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp. + +"He's a very good marketer," he ses, arter George 'ad gone; "he don't +mind wot trouble he takes. He'll very likely haggle for hours to get +sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt." + +It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past +four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get +them for nothing. At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at +ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat. + +It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the +front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his +'ead. + +"Sush a lark," he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady +'imself. "I gave 'im shlip." + +"Wot d'ye mean?" ses the manager, shaking him off. "Gave who the slip? +Where's them clothes?" + +"Boy's got 'em," ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's +arm. "Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day--all day. Now +I've given 'im the--the shlip, 'stead o'--'stead o' giving 'im fourpence. +Take care o' the pensh, an' pouns--" + +He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy and +fell fast asleep. The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but +there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and +said that George 'ad been drinking agin. + +"Well, wot about my clothes?" ses Rupert, hardly able to speak. + +"P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all," ses the manager. "Let's try 'is +pockets." + +He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by +sitting on. Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some +bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny in +coppers. + +"Never mind," ses Mr. Alfredi; "I'll go round to the police-station in +the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there. I'm disapp'inted in +George. I shall tell 'im so, too." + +He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert, +wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George +and go off in 'is clothes. He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and +then he started to take George's coat off. He got the two top buttons +undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep. It surprised +Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to find +them two buttons done up agin. Arter it had 'appened three times he see +'ow it was, and he come to the belief that George was no more drunk than +wot he was, and that it was all a put-up thing between 'im and Mr. +Alfredi. + +He went to bed then to think it over, and by the morning he 'ad made up +his mind to keep quiet and bide his time, as the saying is. He spoke +quite cheerful to Mr. Alfredi, and pretended to believe 'im when he said +that he 'ad been to the police-station about the clothes. + +Two days arterwards he thought of something; he remembered me. He 'ad +found a dirty old envelope on the floor, and with a bit o' lead pencil he +wrote me a letter on the back of one o' the bills, telling me all his +troubles, and asking me to bring some clothes and rescue 'im. He stuck +on one of the stamps he 'ad found in George's pocket, and opening the +door just afore going to bed threw it out on the pavement. + +The world is full of officious, interfering busy-bodies. I should no +more think of posting a letter that didn't belong to me, with an unused +stamp on it, than I should think o' flying; but some meddle-some son of a +----a gun posted that letter and I got it. + +I was never more surprised in my life. He asked me to be outside the +shop next night at ha'-past eleven with any old clothes I could pick up. +If I didn't, he said he should 'ang 'imself as the clock struck twelve, +and that his ghost would sit on the wharf and keep watch with me every +night for the rest o' my life. He said he expected it 'ud have a black +face, same as in life. + +A wharf is a lonely place of a night; especially our wharf, which is full +of dark corners, and, being a silly, good-natured fool, I went. I got a +pal off of one of the boats to keep watch for me, and, arter getting some +old rags off of another sailorman as owed me arf a dollar, I 'ad a drink +and started off for the Mile End Road. + +I found the place easy enough. The door was just on the jar, and as I +tapped on it with my finger-nails a wild-looking black man, arf naked, +opened it and said "H'sh!" and pulled me inside. There was a bit o' +candle on the floor, shaded by a box, and a man fast asleep and snoring +up in one corner. Rupert dressed like lightning, and he 'ad just put on +'is cap when the door at the back opened and a 'orrid fat black woman +came out and began to chatter. + +Rupert told her to hush, and she 'ushed, and then he waved 'is hand to +'er to say "good-bye," and afore you could say Jack Robinson she 'ad +grabbed up a bit o' dirty blanket, a bundle of assegais, and a spear, and +come out arter us. + +"Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing. + +[Illustration: "Back!" ses Rupert in a whisper, pointing.] + +Kumbo shook her 'ead, and then he took hold of 'er and tried to shove 'er +back, but she wouldn't go. I lent him a 'and, but all wimmen are the +same, black or white, and afore I knew where I was she 'ad clawed my cap +off and scratched me all down one side of the face. + +"Walk fast," ses Rupert. + +I started to run, but it was all no good; Kumbo kept up with us easy, and +she was so pleased at being out in the open air that she began to dance +and play about like a kitten. Instead o' minding their own business +people turned and follered us, and quite a crowd collected. + +"We shall 'ave the police in a minute," ses Rupert. "Come in 'ere-- +quick." + +He pointed to a pub up a side street, and went in with Kumbo holding on +to his arm. The barman was for sending us out at fust, but such a crowd +follered us in that he altered 'is mind. I ordered three pints, and, +while I was 'anding Rupert his, Kumbo finished 'ers and began on mine. +I tried to explain, but she held on to it like grim death, and in the +confusion Rupert slipped out. + +He 'adn't been gone five seconds afore she missed 'im, and I never see +anybody so upset in all my life. She spilt the beer all down the place +where 'er bodice ought to ha' been, and then she dropped the pot and went +arter 'im like a hare. I follered in a different way, and when I got +round the corner I found she 'ad caught 'im and was holding 'im by the +arm. + +O' course, the crowd was round us agin, and to get rid of 'em I did a +thing I'd seldom done afore--I called a cab, and we all bundled in and +drove off to the wharf, with the spear sticking out o' the window, and +most of the assegais sticking into me. + +"This is getting serious," ses Rupert. + +"Yes," I ses; "and wot 'ave I done to be dragged into it? You must ha' +been paying 'er some attention to make 'er carry on like this." + +I thought Rupert would ha' bust, and the things he said to the man wot +was spending money like water to rescue 'im was disgraceful. + +We got to the wharf at last, and I was glad to see that my pal 'ad got +tired of night-watching and 'ad gone off, leaving the gate open. Kumbo +went in 'anging on to Rupert's arm, and I follered with the spear, which +I 'ad held in my 'and while I paid the cabman. + +They went into the office, and Rupert and me talked it over while Kumbo +kept patting 'is cheek. He was afraid that the manager would track 'im +to the wharf, and I was afraid that the guv'nor would find out that I 'ad +been neglecting my dooty, for the fust time in my life. + +We talked all night pretty near, and then, at ha'-past five, arf an hour +afore the 'ands came on, I made up my mind to fetch a cab and drive 'em +to my 'ouse. I wanted Rupert to go somewhere else, but 'e said he 'ad +got nowhere else to go, and it was the only thing to get 'em off the +wharf. I opened the gates at ten minutes to six, and just as the fust +man come on and walked down the wharf we slipped in and drove away. + +We was all tired and yawning. There's something about the motion of a +cab or an omnibus that always makes me feel sleepy, and arter a time I +closed my eyes and went off sound. I remember I was dreaming that I 'ad +found a bag o' money, when the cab pulled up with a jerk in front of my +'ouse and woke me up. Opposite me sat Kumbo fast asleep, and Rupert 'ad +disappeared! + +I was dazed for a moment, and afore I could do anything Kumbo woke up and +missed Rupert. Wot made matters worse than anything was that my missis +was kneeling down in the passage doing 'er door-step, and 'er face, as I +got down out o' that cab with Kumbo 'anging on to my arm was something +too awful for words. It seemed to rise up slow-like from near the door- +step, and to go on rising till I thought it 'ud never stop. And every +inch it rose it got worse and worse to look at. + +[Illustration: She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her +'ips.] + +She stood blocking up the doorway with her 'ands on her 'ips, while I +explained, with Kumbo still 'anging on my arm and a crowd collecting +behind, and the more I explained, the more I could see she didn't believe +a word of it. + +She never 'as believed it. I sent for Mr. Alfredi to come and take Kumbo +away, and when I spoke to 'im about Rupert he said I was dreaming, and +asked me whether I wasn't ashamed o' myself for carrying off a pore black +gal wot 'ad got no father or mother to look arter her. He said that +afore my missis, and my character 'as been under a cloud ever since, +waiting for Rupert to turn up and clear it away. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Deserted, by W.W. 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